Questions

This is a list of all the questions and their associated study carrel identifiers. One can learn a lot of the "aboutness" of a text simply by reading the questions.

identifier	question
44801	The news of his death went over the country with a dismal shock; for in what house was John Leech not an inmate in one form or another?
34588	Oh, why,said he,"should I find this glistening thing?
34588	A Wolf, seeing a large Dog with a collar on, asked him:"Who put that collar round your neck, and fed you to be so sleek?"
34588	So his master, throwing him a bone, said:"You sleepy little wretch of a Puppy, what shall I do with you, you inveterate sluggard?
34588	[ Illustration:"There, my child, have I not as many buttons as Lady Golderoy now?"]
46374	= Second Motto=/''Who said Rhodes?''
46374	Speaker, I presume?''
46374	[ Illustration:"HOW IS M^{RS} KRUGER?".
46374	[ Illustration][ Illustration: WHY DRAG IN PITT AND CANNING?]
44661	................................ 1854... 149... 149 What is This?
23619	Afraid-- of what?
23619	But what do you think she did?
23619	Why, a poor tiny reptile, a harmless frog, that had jumped into her hat full of daisies, with a croak, as much as to say--"How do you do?
23619	YEARN.--What have we here?
23619	Yet, what cares Tom for scolding or anything else, he who is so neglectful of duty?
23619	has the cat tried to help himself to a gold fish, and overturned the handsome glass vase?
2646	Are OUR sons ever flogged?
2646	Can we have too much of truth, and fun, and beauty, and kindness?
2646	Did grandpapa kill many watchmen when he was a young man, and frequent thieves''gin- shops, cock- fights, and the ring, before you married him?
2646	Did he use to talk the extraordinary slang and jargon which is printed in this book?
2646	Did we not see, by his own hand, his own portrait of his own famous face, and whiskers, in the Illustrated London News the other day?
2646	Have they not dressing- rooms, hair- oil, hip- baths, and Baden towels?
2646	In all Mr. Punch''s huge galleries ca n''t we walk as safely as through Miss Pinkerton''s schoolrooms?
2646	Is there no way in which the country could acknowledge the long services and brave career of such a friend and benefactor?
2646	What can be purer than the charming fancies of Richard Doyle?
2646	What have these children done that they should be so much happier than we were?
2646	What matter for the arrow- head, illegible stuff?
2646	What would you give for it?
2646	Where are those prodigious chatelaines of 1850 which no lady could be without?
2646	Where have n''t we seen it?
2646	Why had n''t WE picture- books?
2646	Why should hair- dressing be an absurd profession?
2646	Why were we flogged so?
29463	Conclude you go toe Frankfort?
29463	Conclude you go toe Frankfort?
29463	What names do your friends go by?
29463	What place do you hail from?
29463	Where are you going?
29463	You''re Mr. Brown, I reckon?
29463	--"What''s the matter now?"
29463	And shall I sup where Juliet at the masque Saw her loved Montague?"
29463	And those the distant turrets of Verona?
29463	If you should forget the number of your key and room(_ as BROWN did on returning late from the theatre_), what are you to do?
29463	Is this the Mincius?
29463	Jones asks Robinson, whether he"Sees before him the gladiator die?"
29463	Jones to Brown--"What do you say?"
29463	One such hour is worth-- let me see-- how many years of one''s life?
29463	Robinson, who is much given to quotation, is, at the very moment, languidly reciting the lines:--"Am I in Italy?
29463	Robinson, with warmth, and some distance behind,--"What is the use of going on at that rate?"
29463	The theatre was lighted(?)
29463	What are they to do now?
29463	What can he want?
29463	Who knows?
29463	_ Reflection made by BROWN._--Why do people when repeating poetry always look unhappy?
47176	Excuse me but is n''t your name Smith? 47176 FOR WHY, DONAL''?"
47176	GOING FOR A WALK OVER THE HILLS? 47176 HOW LONG FOR?"
47176	HOW''S THAT?]
47176	However did he think of it?
47176	Of course-- you''re Jones are n''t you? 47176 PLUMBER?
47176	WHAT-- IS THERE AN ORDER COME ROUND ABOUT IT?]
47176	WHO GOES THERE?
47176	WHY, BLESS MY SOUL, AIN''T NONE OF YOU EVER BEEN THERE BEFORE?]
47176	WHY, DIDN''T I BRING YOU TWO JUST NOW?
47176	''S WELCOME HOME 43"WOT FLIES?"
47176	100 A USE FOR MODERN ART 101 GOLFING NOTE 102 THE MAN WHO COULD DO IT HIMSELF 103"WOULD YOU NOT PREFER TO HAVE THEM SENT?"
47176	46"WHY DON''T YOU SALUTE AN OFFICER?"
47176	58"ON PARADE WITHOUT YOUR SPURS"58 HIS NATIVE SOIL 59"D''YOU REMEMBER HALTING HERE?"
47176	92 THE SPREAD OF EDUCATION 93 MIDGES 94 SALTSEA 95 GOLFING NOTE 96 QUITE CRICKET 97 BROWN''S STORY 98 CONSOLATION 99"WHICH MR. JONES ARE YOU?"
47176	AND SO FORTH-- TEN WOUND STRIPES-- AND MAKE AS SMART A JOB OF IT AS YOU CAN, WON''T YOU?
47176	HOW CAN THEY MAKE PLUM- AND- APPLE OUT O''STRAWBERRIES?"]
47176	It was how many years ago?
47176	NICE WARM WEATHER, ISN''T IT?
47176	Now tell me, which Mr. Jones are you?"
47176	QUITE CRICKET][ Illustration:"HAVE YOU HEARD BROWN''S STORY OF HOW HE SCORED OFF A TAXI- DRIVER THIS MORNING?"
47176	SHALL I GET THE PLUMBER?"
47176	Surely we met at the Robinsons''yesterday?"
47176	TERRIBLY SMALL, ISN''T IT?"]
47176	THE WEDDING DETECTIVE: A STUDY IN SUGGESTION][ Illustration:_ Wee Donald Angus:_"PLEASE, SIRR, WHAT TIME WILL IT BE?"
47176	TURNED OUT TO SEE HIM ARRIVE?]
47176	Was it that little village in the wood down by the river, or was it that place with the Cathedral and all them factories?"]
47176	Was there ever a Frenchman before who understood and loved cricket as this one?"
47176	Would any of you have laughed at our wordy description of the fielder in a cloth cap to whom one can run a single?
47176	[ Illustration: TACT"EXCUSE ME, DRIVER, BUT COULD YOU TELL ME WHERE I''D BE MOST LIKELY TO FIND A TAXI?"]
47176	[ Illustration: THE DOG FIGHT][ Illustration:"COULD WE HAVE TWO TEAS, PLEASE?"
47176	[ Illustration:"BED, SIR?
47176	[ Illustration:"CAN YOU TELL ME IF THIS IS THE RIGHT ROAD FOR LONDON, PLEASE?"
47176	[ Illustration:"HAVE YOU ANY-- ER-- HATS?"]
47176	[ Illustration:"HEAR THE LATEST RUMOUR UP FROM THE BACK, GEORGE?
47176	[ Illustration:"HULLO!---- MY DEAR---- OLD BOY---- HOW ARE YOU?
47176	[ Illustration:"HULLO, GEORGE-- NOT DEMOBBED YET?"
47176	[ Illustration:"I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME A TUNIC-- RANK?
47176	[ Illustration:_ Both together:_"NOW, MY MAN, WHY DON''T YOU SALUTE WHEN YOU PASS AN OFFICER?"]
47176	[ Illustration:_ First Contemptible:_"D''YOU REMEMBER HALTING HERE ON THE RETREAT, GEORGE?"
47176	[ Illustration:_ Prospective Purchaser:_"AND WHY DO YOUR ADVERTISEMENTS SAY THAT YOURS IS ESSENTIALLY THE CAR FOR THE OWNER- DRIVER?"
47176	[ Illustration:_ Tommy("Mopping- up"captured trench):_"IS THERE ANYONE DOWN THERE?"
47176	_ Hardened Campaigner:_"WOT FLIES?"]
47176	_ Jones:_"Me?
47176	_ Literal Gentleman:_"WHEN?"]
47176	_ Tractor- Driver:_"WOT''S THE MATTER?"
2648	Heisst du etwa Rumpelstilzchen?
2648	And yonder in the clock: what agonized face is that we see?
2648	As for the Jew in the dungeon, let us say nothing of it-- what can we say to describe it?
2648	Being on the subject of children''s books, how shall we enough praise the delightful German nursery- tales, and Cruikshank''s illustrations of them?
2648	But look down the list of the painters and tell us who are they?
2648	But what then?
2648	Can a man be supposed to imitate everything?
2648	Can we, for instance, praise too highly the man who invented that wonderful oyster?
2648	Could Mr. O''Connell himself desire anything more national than the scene of a drunken row, or could Father Mathew have a better text to preach upon?
2648	Did not millions believe with him, and noble and learned lords take their oaths to her Royal Highness''s innocence?
2648	Did one ever hear the like sentiments expressed in France?
2648	Did we not forego tarts, in order to buy his"Breaking- up,"or his"Fashionable Monstrosities"of the year eighteen hundred and something?
2648	Does he elaborate his effects by slow process of thought, or do they come to him by instinct?
2648	Does it not seem impossible to make a picture out of this?
2648	Has our artist been among the same company, and brought back their portraits in his sketch- book?
2648	Have we not read, all the story- books that his wonderful pencil has illustrated?
2648	How many of our writers and designers work for the galleries?
2648	Is any man more remarkable than our artist for telling the truth after his own manner?
2648	Is any man so blind that he can not see the exact face that is writhing under the thhnblerigged hero''s hat?
2648	Is not Whittington sitting yet on Highgate hill, and poor Cinderella( in that sweetest of all fairy stories) still pining in her lonely chimney- nook?
2648	Is there any need of having a face after this?
2648	It is not the artist who fails, but the men who grow cold-- the men, from whom the illusions( why illusions?
2648	It serves him right: why did he put his name to stamped paper?
2648	My lady with the ermine tippet and draggling feather, can we not see that she lives in Portland Place, and is the wife of an East India Director?
2648	Now, who would imagine that an artist could make anything of such a subject as this?
2648	Suppose all the accessories were away, could not one swear that the man was stone- deaf, beyond the reach of trumpet?
2648	What are the bets; will that long- legged bondholder of a devil come up with the honest Dutchman?
2648	What business has he there?
2648	What is there particularly jocose about a pump, and wherefore does a long nose always provoke the beholder to laughter?
2648	What was military glory to him, forsooth?
2648	Where are these people now?
2648	Whereabouts lies the comic vis in these persons and things?
2648	Who could it be that was a match for the devil?
2648	Who does not recollect the famous picture,"What IS taxes, Thomas?"
2648	Who would mar the prospects of honest Roderick Random, or Charles Surface, or Tom Jones?
2648	Why are short breeches more ridiculous than long?
2648	Why should a beadle be comic, and his opposite a charity boy?
2648	Why should a tall life- guardsman have something in him essentially absurd?
2648	Why should the artists who executed the cuts of the admirable"Three Courses"yield the pas to any one?
2648	Why should the song of a thrush cause bright volumes of vapor to glide through Lothbury, and a river to flow on through the vale of Cheapside?
2648	Why this exaggeration-- is it necessary for the public?
2648	Will Hercules do so?
2648	Would any one doubt what was the country of the merry fellows depicted in his group of Paddies?
2648	has any man a mind to tap me?"
38111	Dancin''? 38111 My_ mind_?
38111	Well, her husband was killed in that horrid railway accident, do n''t you remember?
38111	What''s the good of our stopping out here?]
38111	What''s the matter, dearest? 38111 (_ No cards._)]*****[ Illustration: DOMESTIC ECONOMY MATER.--Papa, dear, do you know a halfpenny weekly paper called_ Flipbutts_?"
38111	(_ Pater can only write two novels a year, but gets £ 10,000 for each of them._)]*****[ Illustration: WHAT INDUCED HIM TO MARRY HER?
38111	*****[ Illustration: A QUESTION OF AGE TEDDY.--"How old are you, Aunt Milly?"
38111	*****[ Illustration: ANTE- POSTHUMOUS JEALOUSY"_ Is n''t_ Emily Firkinson a darling, Reginald?"
38111	*****[ Illustration: AT THE ZOO TOMMY.--"Why do n''t they have little shut- up houses?
38111	*****[ Illustration: EOTHEN COOK''S TOURIST(_ female_).--"What''s that jagged white line on the horizon, I wonder?"
38111	*****[ Illustration: GENTLE TERRORISM THE PROFESSOR.--"Will you give me a kiss, my dear?"
38111	*****[ Illustration: NEIGHBORLY COMPLIMENTS"Tell me, Mrs. Jones, who''s that young Adonis your married daughter is looking up to so eagerly?"
38111	*****[ Illustration: NEMESIS MRS. CONSTANTIA(_ to old adorer, who has married for money_).--"And these are your children, Ronald?
38111	*****[ Illustration: STREET DIALECTICS BROWN(_ who was all but run over_).--"Why did n''t you call out_ sooner_, you stupid ass?"
38111	*****[ Illustration: THE DANCING MAN OF THE PERIOD"Been dancin''at all?"
38111	*****[ Illustration: THE TABLES TURNED TIRED DAUGHTERS.--"Don''t you think we might_ go_ now, mamma?
38111	*****[ Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY GENIAL HOSTESS.--"What, going already, Professor?...
38111	*****[ Illustration: UNCONSCIOUS CYNICISM SHE.--"It''s such years since we met that perhaps you never heard of my marriage?"
38111	A trick?
38111	And which are_ they_, may I ask?"
38111	And_ must_ you take your wife away with you?"
38111	BENJAMIN.--"_Does_ she, my boy?
38111	BROWN.--"Why did n''t you call out_ louder_, then?"
38111	Berhaps, to opliche matame, I could dransbose de aggombaniments-- ja?"]
38111	But what''s the matter with_ you_, dear?"
38111	But why false noses?"]
38111	Do you remember the Carew girls, and your old flame Lucy Masters, and that poor boy Jack Lushington, who was so desperately in love with_ me_?"
38111	Do_ you_ ever suffer from it, Captain Spinks?"
38111	ENGLISH SOCIETY[ Illustration: POST- PRANDIAL STUDIES FAIR HOSTESS(_ passing the wine_).--"I hope you admire this decanter, Admiral?"
38111	FAIR PATIENT(_ just ushered in_).--"What--_you_ here, Lizzie?
38111	FESTIVE MAMMA.--"Oh, that''s not so_ very_ late, darlings.... May n''t I have_ one_ more dance?"]
38111	HE.--"I beg your pardon-- but-- er would you be so kind as to give me the''G''?"
38111	How do you like my hyacinths?"
38111	I wonder what on earth induced him to marry her?"
38111	I wonder what''s going on inside?
38111	Is it-- er-- recent enough for congratulations?"]
38111	Is n''t she pretty?"
38111	JENKINS.--"Did he?
38111	Let''s go and see....""What''s the good of our going in there?"
38111	May I look at you while I am singing?"
38111	Spinks?"
38111	What did he say about_ me_, the ruffian?"
38111	Who''s it by, I wonder?"
38111	Who''s that young lady behind you?"
38111	Why did n''t you come earlier?"
38111	Why do they have open bars?"
38111	Why, ai n''t you_ well_?"
38111	Wilkins?"
38111	Wo n''t you shake hands with me?
38111	You have n''t got a dance left?"
38111	_ Is_ there, General?"
38111	_ Not one of the family, you know!_"]*****[ Illustration:"OH, DON''T YOU REMEMBER SWEET ALICE, BEN BOLT?"]
38111	alone, Mrs. Highflyer?
38111	he proposed after supper, did he-- after dancing with you all night-- and you refused him?
38111	it''s not the vessel I am admiring...."FAIR HOSTESS.--"I suppose it''s the_ port_?"
42299	And once again, I ask the name Of this so universal dame; What is her fortune,--where she lives, And the strange means by which she thrives? 42299 By whom, then, was QUÆ GENUS given?"
42299	In answer to your just desire, Permit me fairly to enquire, Which to my ledger is transmitted, For what your qualities are fitted? 42299 QUÆ GENUS?
42299	When she was in a spiteful humour, What said she of that_ pretty tumour_? 42299 When_ Sir Jeffery_ fortune gain''d, By contracts from the State obtain''d, Think you he had a pious loathing To crib a yard from soldiers''clothing?
42299	--But then he mutter''d,"Where''s the shame?
42299	--He asked, where these fine Ladies went?
42299	--If worth lay in a flatt''ring tongue, You would not want a service long; For if you do with caution use it, Where is the ear that will refuse it?
42299	--Where could he such examples see As in an artist''s gallery?
42299	A little smuggling all allow, But only mind the when and how: Take your_ per centage_, but with care; And who will say it is not fair?
42299	A widow she, or is she wedded?
42299	Am I call''d hither to accuse Thy erring ways, and idle views?
42299	Am I this moment to forget How much I''m in_ Sir Jeff''ry''s_ debt, And thus, with chance of foul disgrace, To play the rogue and risque my place?"
42299	And have you not an equal claim, In a small way, to do the same?
42299	And is it thus you form the plan To vault into a Gentleman?
42299	And, in good faith, I wish to know, What you have done, and what can do?
42299	Are not his hours by want depress''d?
42299	But have you thought, my dearest Dear, That not a creature will be there?
42299	But pray what figure did she bear} While you th''unwilling servant were?"
42299	But where''s the heart that e''er disdains The pow''r that dwells where beauty reigns?
42299	Can he in all the pride of power Ensure his honours for an hour?
42299	Can he pour health into his veins Or cool the fever''s restless pains?
42299	Can he worn down in nature''s course New brace his feebled nerves with force?
42299	Can he, how vain is mortal power, Stretch life beyond the destin''d hour?
42299	Can they prolong one gasp of breath, Or calm the troubled hour of death?
42299	Can they, when tortur''d by disease, Cheer our sick heart and purchase ease?
42299	Could he another course prefer?
42299	Dare you look piteous?
42299	Do I the wretched agent see Of gambling fraud and usury?
42299	Fool as thou art, in thy misdoing Art thou not hast''ning to thy ruin?
42299	He now put on a curious leer, That said,"I pray, what brought_ you_ here?"
42299	How had he slept?
42299	How was his pulse?
42299	I say that we all do our duty, And if we make a little booty, We never hear_ Sir Jeff._ complain: And wherefore should one give him pain?
42299	If tremors o''er the system crept?
42299	Indeed, what harm, if he succeed in The arts of cupping and of bleeding?
42299	Look at my legs-- my stomach see, And tell me, would you change with me?
42299	Nay, in Ambition''s humble school Perceive we not the love of rule, O''er rustic swains to bear the rod And be a village demi- god?
42299	Now, as he pac''d along the street,} Thus did he to himself repeat,}"Is this the fortune I must meet?}
42299	Or e''er by blushing Hymen bedded?"
42299	Our hero, seeing Molly pass, He tempted her to take a glass; For, in his state of tender feeling, What gen''rous mind will call it stealing?
42299	Since his departure I am hurl''d To push my fortune in the world, And may I now with courage say, You will assist me on my way?
42299	Thus what could the old Matron do?
42299	What''s man in all his boasted sway?
42299	When his ships sought some foreign strand, Did he disdain the contraband, If he could but with safety chouse The sentries of the custom- house?
42299	Where is the Miss, or where the Maid Who does not ask our frequent aid?
42299	Where she acquires her wond''rous power, Which you describe, o''er ev''ry hour?
42299	Who knows what CUPID, too, may do?
42299	Why lose we life, in anxious cares, To lay in hoards for future years?
42299	Will you not find we shall be hurl''d Into a lifeless, empty world; Where, till the winter near approaches You will see nought but Hackney coaches?
42299	Wonder and Gratitude and Fainting Were there combin''d-- what could be wanting To make the melting scene complete, But coffin and a winding- sheet?
42299	Would it not tell you to supply The blank with a due legacy?"
42299	[ Illustration:_ Drawn by Rowlandson_ QUÆ GENUS engaged with jovial Friends: Or... Who sings best?]
42299	per Cent._ Think you that he was over- nice To fix his rate of merchandise?
45784	And must I, then, to prison go,And leave my wife and cub?
45784	Come, keep the chalks all right, old dame, I''ve got another glass before me-- If I like max, am I to blame? 45784 How dare you treat a Lady so?
45784	How should a costermonger pay Attorney''s bill of fees? 45784 I''ll book my man to win for sartin-- Come, three to one on Bill, at starting?"
45784	IS HE JEALOUS?
45784	O, can it be a fault to love A lady so divine? 45784 Our little boy all fume and fret I ca n''t abide to see-- You and I always loved a wet, And wherefore should n''t he?
45784	Then listen to thy lover''s vows, Nor of vain scruples tell us; Why care a pin about your spouse-- Confound him!--is he jealous?
45784	Vat right has he our schemes to check? 45784 Where, now, are all thy idle boasts?
45784	_ You be smothered, you old Brimstome!--barring I''m a thief, and fond of the men, what can you say to my prejudice?_"_ Get out you wagabond! 45784 ''Why, only some hot mutton pies?''
45784	--''Pretty well; The dust has got into my eyes,''There''s--''fellow what have you to sell?''
45784	And let young Hopeful have his fill-- His rising spirit why control?
45784	Besides, you play''d too long on Red; Did n''t you see me shake my head?
45784	Bestow another teaser; Those active mawleys why forbid To tap your nurse''s sneezer?
45784	Careers so brilliant why impede?
45784	Cruikshank._] Thou, guardian Pilot of the night, One favour we would ax-- Tell us, old Cock, and tell us right, Where we can get some Max?
45784	Cruikshank._] Where shall I dine?
45784	Dejected, pale, and worn with grief, Deserted by each sunshine friend, Where shall poor Snob obtain relief?
45784	Do you want any hearth- stones?
45784	Farewell to Mirth?
45784	First of all:-- Here''s"Jolly nose,""Begone dull care,""Black Bess,""What are you at"now?
45784	Friendship''s a most endearing tie, Unless it comes your cash to borrow, Then all its bright attractions die With"Ca n''t you call again to- morrow?"
45784	How can we heal a mind diseas''d?
45784	How shall his prison troubles end?
45784	How shall such anguish be appeas''d?
45784	I''ll warrant we get the dirty toad white?_""_ O, Missee!
45784	In vicious courses APE their betters?
45784	Is there no source of comfort?
45784	Is this the way That you enforce the laws, To pounce upon your hapless prey With your unhallowed claws?
45784	King William and Reform, I say, In such a case who can be neuter?
45784	No friend to soothe your mind?
45784	Now drunkenness has had its day, Snob''s ways and means grow taper; But why not friendship''s call obey, And draw his pal the draper?
45784	Or what have you neglected?
45784	Say, Wellington, can this be you?
45784	The rapid course of time we know; Why waste it then in dry reflection?
45784	Tho''long past midnight, who''s afraid?
45784	Thy partner''s peace thus plant a dagger in, And hastening to destruction''s brink, Steer homeward''s nightly drunk and staggering?
45784	To bruising fame aspiring still, Why should his ardour cool?
45784	To doubt my honour, what man dare?
45784	To spoil our sport why should you seek, And for fresh victims prowl?
45784	To thy petitions I incline, Though I abhor the sin: Say, wilt thou have a glass of wine Or Hodges''cordial gin?
45784	Was it for this fair blooming Maid, This scene of sad, domestic jar, That, by the wiles of man betray''d, You left the tap room and the bar?
45784	What is the upshot of the game?
45784	What lad of spirit, or discerning, Would waste the weary hour in learning, And not each dryer study cut, To play a social game at Put?
45784	What makes me mention this?
45784	What right have folks to understand The course that you''ve chalk''d out?
45784	Where all the springs of fashion gay, Can Master Pug be absent?
45784	Where are the Dashers of the Land Who throng''d the Race Course"four- in- hand?"
45784	Who can resist his piercing eyes, Or scorn a Parson''s prayer?
45784	Who caus''d the smiles of rich and poor?
45784	Who made a hit so slow, but sure?
45784	Who''ll buy?
45784	Why doth yon Nymph with warming pan Parade the streets about?
45784	Why should not Snip, our man of measure, With Spouse and Darling wander here?
45784	Will you walk into my parlour?
45784	With equal grief and shame we tell it,''Tis"How much do ye ax to sell it?"
45784	Your frown the fancy well may dread, The Ring will soon be no go-- Why should you take away the bread Of Oliver and Fogo?
45784	[ Illustration] Buy a Broom?
45784	[ Illustration] Doctor, thy accents, soft and bland, Are ever sure to please; What female bosom can withstand A Parson on his knees?
45784	[ Illustration] What object meets my wondering gaze, That knew, I doubt not, better days?
45784	[ Illustration]"Here, Nan, you hussy, bring a light, What mean this sword and hat?
45784	[ Illustration]"Pray, Mr. Editor, what is a Beak?"
45784	[ Illustration]"The man wot mends the Sovereign''s ways"-- What will the satire end in?
45784	[ Illustration]"_ Why, I say, Popjoy, ha''nt you had a bite all day?_""_ No._"SEASONABLE AMUSEMENTS; OR,"SPORTING A TOE"ON THE ICE.
45784	drunk again-- Too soon will poverty assail us; Ca n''t you a single night refrain From tippling in that cursed ale- house?
45784	forbear-- Such conduct who can brook?
45784	how shall I decide According to your merit?-- Who shall the Seaman''s FLESH deride-- Or who, the Parson''s SPIRIT?
45784	remains for you?
45784	shall vile horns disgrace my brow, And I be dubbed Cornuto?"
45784	then we ca n''t do no better than practice what Parson preaches about, can we?_ ADELPHI THEATRE.
45784	was formerly a very popular London- cry, when it was usually rendered thus:--"_Puy a Proom, puy a prooms?
45784	what are you after?
45784	what shall shield you now, In fortune''s fickle weather, If you surrender to your frow The covering of your nether?
45784	who can tell, but those who know Of poverty the pangs, When, floored by fate, to quod we go, In ruthless Bailiff''s fangs?
45784	who comes, who comes?
45784	why evince, you winning sex, Such naughty inclination?
45784	would n''t he intrude now?
45784	you''re not going to leave me here with these''orned hanimals?
39160	Are you aware, sir, that ai n''t my''orse?
39160	Are you going to take this hedge, sir?
39160	Beg pardon, sir, but ai n''t you the gent that broke down that there gate of mine this morning?
39160	Blank it all, Rogerson, what''s the good o''me trying to keep the field off seeds, and a fellow like you coming slap across''em?
39160	Can you kindly point out the way to the Fox and Cock Inn?
39160	Confound you, did n''t you say there was a sound bottom here?
39160	Could you tell me if there is a bridge anywhere handy?]
39160	Do you know what the total is for the season?
39160	Eh-- why-- hang it!--what do you mean?
39160	Er-- did I? 39160 Hallo, Thompson, is that you?
39160	Have n''t ye seen him, Tom?
39160	How long have you been working here, master?
39160	How much do you want for that nag o''yours, sir?
39160	I say, we shall see you at dinner on the nineteenth, sha n''t we?
39160	It''s all very well to shout''Loose your reins,''but what the deuce_ am_ I to hang on to?]
39160	Know anything about this mare? 39160 Now then, have you seen anything of him?"
39160	Now then, where is he?
39160	Now where the dickens has that horse gone to?]
39160	Oh, Mr. Rowel, do you mind going back? 39160 Put out?
39160	Readin''''ard, sir?
39160	Run away down and get some o''your fellows to come up with spades, will ye? 39160 Think so, my dear Sproozer?
39160	Well, ai n''t the Fox and Cock the same as the Brush and Comb?
39160	Well, you might do me a bright little article-- about half a column, you know-- on hunting, will you?
39160	What do you think of this horse?
39160	Where did you see him?
39160	Where''s the fox?
39160	''Ave you seen my whiskers?"]
39160	''Ow''s that?"
39160	)_:"Do you mind putting me back in the saddle, sir?"]
39160	***** HUNTING EXTRAORDINARY Jobson, who edits a cheerful little weekly, said to me the other day:"You hunt, do n''t you?"
39160	***** RATHER"Is fox- hunting dangerous?"
39160	***** UNCOMMONLY KEEN"Why, where''s the horse, Miss Kitty?
39160	***** WHY HE WAITED"What''s the matter with Jack''s new horse?
39160	*****''INTS ON''UNTING, BY''ARRY[ Illustration:( 1) ON CLOTHES.--"Why not employ local talent?
39160	*****[ Illustration: A BLANK-- BLANK-- DAY]*****[ Illustration: WHOSE FAULT?
39160	*****[ Illustration: A CHECK_ Huntsman._"Seen the fox, my boy?"
39160	*****[ Illustration: A LION IN THE PATH?
39160	*****[ Illustration: DRAWN BLANK_ Huntsman._"How is it you never have any foxes here now?"
39160	*****[ Illustration: DRY HUMOUR"Be''n''t ye comin''over for''i m, mister?"]
39160	*****[ Illustration: MOTTOES; OR,"WHO''S WHO?"
39160	*****[ Illustration: NOT TO BE BEATEN_ Cissy._"Why should they call the hare''s tail the scut?"
39160	*****[ Illustration: THE HUNTING SEASON_ Rector._"Is that the parcels post, James?
39160	*****[ Illustration: TRIALS OF A NOVICE_ Unsympathetic Bystander._"Taking''i m back to''is cab, guv''nor?"]
39160	*****[ Illustration:"THE CART WITHOUT THE HORSE"Scene--_Cub- hunting._ Time--_About one o''clock.__ Lady._"Well, Count, what have you lost?
39160	*****[ Illustration:"WHAT''S IN A NAME?"
39160	*****[ Illustration:_ Gorgeous Stranger._"I say, Huntsman, would you mind blowing your horn two or three times?
39160	1._"Ulloah, Danny, what are you lookin''for?"
39160	Am I going to hunt the hounds or are you?"
39160	An''''ow''s that, missie?"
39160	Been puttin''up some wire to keep the fox- hunter away?"
39160	But-- er-- do you mind leaving me my hat?"]
39160	By the way, how is that beautiful collie of yours that I admired so much?"
39160	Do n''t you?"]
39160	H. M._"Why so?"
39160	Hardhit._"Do n''t you think, Miss Highflier, that men look much better in pink-- less like waiters?"
39160	Have you seen my hare?"
39160	He''s early this morning, is n''t he?"
39160	How could you be so stupid as to let him go?"]
39160	I hope we did n''t hurt you?"
39160	I seemed once more to see the little rose- covered porch, the----"What on earth are you mooning about?"
39160	Not hurt, I hope?"
39160	Not the horse, I hope?"]
39160	Now, do you mind just bringing him over?"]
39160	Of course, people will come at me open- mouthed for this assertion, and say,"How about the keep of your horses?"
39160	Pure whiskey, is it not?"
39160	She has curbs on her hocks and no hair on her knees; She has splints and has spavins wherever you please?
39160	Sure I met you in the passage, and I took you by the hand, And says I,"How many dances, Molly, darlint, will ye stand?"
39160	The hunted one put his horse resolutely at it-- must say he rode very straight, but what_ wo n''t_ men do to avoid"parting?"
39160	Uncertain voice from within--"Eh?
39160	Wather- cresses?"]
39160	Well, how much is the damage?"]
39160	What are yer givin''us?
39160	What can be more exhilarating?"
39160	What has happened?"
39160	What the doose are yer doin''of with that second''oss?"
39160	What''s up?"
39160	Where_ are_ you going with that brute?"
39160	Who''ve you got there?"
39160	Why should I hesitate?
39160	Wotcher makin''all that noise for, then?
39160	Would you mind going in again for my hat?"]
39160	Your lunch?"
39160	_ Friend._"Clever as a man?
39160	_ Huntsman._"Then, what are you hollarin''for?"
39160	_ Irish Huntsman._"And what would ye be after down there?
39160	_ Jack._"Have you?
39160	_ Miss Highflier._"Yes, but more like ringmasters-- eh?"
39160	_ Native._"D''ye mean the Barber''s Arms?"
39160	_ Stranger._"Strong language?
39160	laugh away, but who be the roight side o''the fence, masters?"]
45700	A-- can you tell me if there is a resident British Minister here?
45700	Avez- vous quelquechose à déclarer, madame?
45700	Did he tip her?
45700	Does anybody ever come to your city now? 45700 Has thy brother bought a boot- jack?"
45700	I say, daddy, did you call that man''garçon''?
45700	I wonder,says A.,"how they got''em all together and started them jumping?"
45700	Is n''t it funny, Archibald, to see so many foreigners about? 45700 Perhaps, after all she_ does_ expect, eh?
45700	The_ what?_says my companion.
45700	What was that you were telling us about Caracalla just now?
45700	Where''s your wife?
45700	Why demoralise them, why instil the love of money into their innocent minds?
45700	_ Alleroose_ is it? 45700 ''Ave you forgotten all about the black swan? 45700 (_ Noticing disapproval in visitor''s face._)Ah, madame n''en veut pas?
45700	(_ Sighs._)[_ Pause._]_ She._"Do you speak English, sir?"
45700	*** TO INTENDING TOURISTS.--"Where shall we go?"
45700	--_Daily Papers._] MEIN HERR, will you do us the honour to descend from the railway- carriage?
45700	--_Standard._] WHAT?
45700	A friendly stranger cries,"Is this yours?"
45700	And how fares mister your husband, this fine weather?"
45700	And these three hundred yards of lace of various makes and ages?
45700	Any artists, for instance?"
45700	Are ye an Irishman?"
45700	Awfully jolly, is n''t it?
45700	Awfully stupid things-- squares, eh?
45700	But I am giving you a great deal of trouble?
45700	But where are the old buildings?
45700	But why waste_ pesetas?_ So refrain.
45700	But wot''s Lynton roads to the Halps, or the Torrs to that blessed Young Frow?
45700	But-- well, and how did you like Italy?"
45700	By the way, wonder what became of the"coach"who went out with me?
45700	Call that Shakspeare?
45700	Comprenny voo?
45700	Dayjernay, se voo play?"
45700	Did n''t that strike_ you_, Shirtliff?"
45700	Hotel Moderno, non è vero?_"And he led the way to the outside, where the Englishman perceived a wide, asphalted street.
45700	How about the Baptistery?
45700	How about the churches?
45700	How can I scan with rapt enthusiasm These Alpine heights, when balanced_ à la_ Blondin, While you survey with bird''s- eye view each chasm?
45700	I climb it?
45700	I hope I make myself clearly understood?
45700	I seem to owe you these, and yet Will money do?
45700	I understand the French?
45700	Is fine, fine,_ è bella, bella, una via maravigliosa"!_"You do n''t mean to say there is n''t a canal left?
45700	Is it asking too great a favour to beg you to lend me the keys of your boxes?
45700	Is n''t there anything old?
45700	Just come up to the''Curse Hall,''will you?"]
45700	Kel ay le nomme du set plass?"]
45700	No, mein herr, it is utterly impossible?
45700	O''er here in St. Maló The thing''s quite_ comme il faut;_ Why not in higher latitude?
45700	Oh, the blue sky and the_ tables d''hôte!_ What more glorious than the ruins of Rome?
45700	Or is it, simply, you prefer to go Incognito?
45700	Perchance you have a motive, deep, ulterior, In donning head- gear borrowed from banditti?
45700	Rather jolly, eh?
45700	Sandy, what did he say?"
45700	She shall go now, sir, to visit the bridge?"
45700	Si nous leaverong the hotel at six o''clock et ung demy, shall nous catcherong le train all right?
45700	Switzerland?
45700	Tell me where I can get a first dish of_ Tête de veau?__ Smith.__ Tête de veau?_ Let''s see, that''s"calf''s head,"is n''t it?
45700	Tell me where I can get a first dish of_ Tête de veau?__ Smith.__ Tête de veau?_ Let''s see, that''s"calf''s head,"is n''t it?
45700	Tell me where I can get a first dish of_ Tête de veau?__ Smith.__ Tête de veau?_ Let''s see, that''s"calf''s head,"is n''t it?
45700	Tennyson, and that sort of thing, do n''t you know?
45700	Though you boast such works of art, Where is that unclouded sky?
45700	Vat vil you''av, sare?"
45700	Voo parly Français, do n''t you?
45700	Wants me to take him round, and as he hears I am studying German, will I interpret for him?
45700	What did you suppose it was-- Dundee marmalade?
45700	What do_ we_ think?
45700	What else is there?
45700	What is she trying to make us understand?
45700	What is there to see in Barcelona?
45700	What is there to see in your city now?
45700	What is there to see?"
45700	What lovely views you get there, do you not?"
45700	What more precious than the pictures of Florence?
45700	What more restful than the gondolas of Venice?
45700	What price this?"
45700	What then must be the difficulty when the question to be answered is where to spend the Easter holidays?
45700	What was it?
45700	What''d our missuses say?
45700	What''s that mean, Tripper,"Pas de Calais"?
45700	What''s the meaning of"avis"on those placards?
45700	What_ more_ do they want?
45700	Where are the gondolas then?"
45700	Where are the pictures?
45700	Where is Santa Maria Novella?
45700	Where to go?
45700	Which is the oldest building now standing in Florence?
45700	Who says Italy?
45700	Why do n''t they learn English?
45700	Why do n''t you stay at home?_(_ Official explanation._) Merely questions asked to stimulate pleasant conversation.
45700	Why?
45700	Would half a gulden---- What?"
45700	You do n''t mean to say Giotto''s Tower has gone?
45700	You understand French, eh?
45700	You were thinking, perhaps, that greater liberty might be given to the framers of the initial contract?
45700	You wish to show an intellect superior,( And hide a profile which is not too pretty?
45700	You''re not engaged?
45700	[ Illustration: AN INNOCENT OFFENDER What is all this about?
45700	[ Illustration: CONSEQUENCES OF THE TOWER OF BABEL SCENE--_A table d''hôte abroad.__ He._"Parlez- vous Français, mademoiselle?"
45700	[ Illustration: FRENCH AS SHE IS SPOKE"You like Ostende, Monsieur Simpkin?"
45700	[ Illustration: L''AXONG D''ALBIONG"Oh-- er-- pardong, Mossoo-- may kelly le shmang kilfoker j''ally poor ally Allycol Militair?"
45700	[ Illustration: ON THE RIVIERA_ She._"I wonder what makes the Mediterranean look so blue?"
45700	[ Illustration: SUCCESSFUL SANITATION_ Anxious Tourist._"Since your town has been newly drained, I suppose there is less fever here?"
45700	[ Illustration:"ASTONISHING THE NATIVES"_ First Alpine Tourist._"I say, Will, are you asleep?"
45700	[ Illustration:_ He._"You climed ze Matterhorn?
45700	[ OE]ufs à la_ coque_, sare?"
45700	[_ Tableau!_][ Illustration:''ARRY IN''OLLAND_''Arry._"I say, Bill, ai n''t he a rum lookin''cove?"]
45700	_ After the Holidays_(_ a Retrospect_) What can be worse than packing?
45700	_ Angelina._ Yes, is n''t he a perfect love?
45700	_ Are you English?_(_ Official interpretation._) The highest praise imaginable.
45700	_ Custom- House Officer._"Now, then, got anything contraband about ye?"
45700	_ Garçon._"Bien, m''sieu''--Vould you like to see zee_ Times?_"_ London Gent._"Hang the feller!
45700	_ He._"Habla usted Español, señorita?"
45700	_ He._"Parlate Italiano, signorina?"
45700	_ He._"Sprechen Sie Deutsch, Fraülein?"
45700	_ Hotel Moderno, gondola._""_ Che cosa, signore?_"asked the porter, apparently confused,"_ gon--, gondo--, non capisco.
45700	_ Jambon d''Yorck._ What''s that mean, Mr. T.?
45700	_ Kitty._"And are you very wicked now, aunt?"]
45700	_ Official._"Christian nom?"
45700	_ Official._"Profession?"
45700	_ Pittori, scultori, perche?_ But there are voyagers some time.
45700	_ Second Tourist._"Asleep?
45700	_ Swiss Landlord respondeth_-- Am not I, am not I, say, a merry Swiss boy, When I hie from the mountain away?
45700	_ Tourist._ How about statues?
45700	_ Tourist._ What?
45700	_ Why do you come here?
45700	was it not a fine change to cry''Vive l''Empereur''for nearly a whole week, instead of''Vive la République''?"
45700	Êtes- vous la diligence?
38683	!_*****[ Illustration: ANOTHER LENTEN SACRIFICE.--_Golf Caddie( to Curate)._"High tee, sir?"
38683	!__ Miggs._"What''s he doing?"
38683	And what shall I take now?
38683	And which of the sticks am I to use now?
38683	And-- is that all?
38683	Aunt Susannah, what am I to say? 38683 Do you Laurence?"
38683	Do you mean that it will be half an hour before those men have played two shots?
38683	Does your caddie take all those things?
38683	Drive off? 38683 How much will you charge me to mend this umbrella?"]
38683	I? 38683 Is that allowed?"
38683	Nothing very formidable, I hope?
38683	Perhaps you would like to watch us a little first, just to see how the game goes?
38683	Shall I drive off?
38683	Then do you mind waiting one moment?
38683	Then you just try to get a little ball into a little hole?
38683	There should be a modern form for golf- balls and aunts-- hey, Laurence?
38683	This is my ball, I think?
38683	Uncle, do they pronounce that rico_chay_ing or rico_chet_ting?]
38683	We want to teach you-- what do you think?
38683	What are you looking there for? 38683 What in the world do you want so many sticks for, child?"
38683	What next?
38683	What''s a putter? 38683 What''s to be done,''Enery?"
38683	Where is it gone? 38683 Where was''is yusual absentmindedness?
38683	Why do you call it''goff''if there''s an''l''in it?
38683	Why?
38683	You do n''t mean to say you give them names like a little girl with her dolls?
38683	You will be here for the twenty- seventh, I hope?
38683	_ What_ do you say it is called?
38683	_ What_ shall we do? 38683 _ Why_ ca n''t I do it?"
38683	''Enery, what''s the nime of your yung woman?"
38683	***** GOLF AND GOOD FORM(_ By the Expert Wrinkler_) Is it good form to golf?
38683	***** SHOULD MARRIED MEN BE ALLOWED TO PLAY GOLF?
38683	*****[ Illustration: A MARTYR TO APPEARANCES_ Young Lady._"I say, caddie, what_ does_ Mr. McFadjock do with all these clubs?"
38683	*****[ Illustration: A POSER.--"Farmers always grumbling?
38683	*****[ Illustration: DISTINCTION WITHOUT DIFFERENCE.--_Sensitive Golfer( who has foozled)._"Did you laugh at me, boy?"
38683	*****[ Illustration: ERRATIC_ Pedestrian( anxious for his safety)._"Now, which way are you going to hit the ball?"
38683	*****[ Illustration: INGRATITUDE_ Brown._"Why does n''t Walker stop to speak?
38683	*****[ Illustration: SCENE--_Country Police Court__ Magistrate._"My boy, do you fully realise the nature of an oath?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:"HOW''S THAT, UMPIRE?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:"Mummy, what''s that man for?"]
38683	*****[ Illustration:"SHE WAS NOT A GOLFER"_ Husband._"What on earth has happened to my driver?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ Brer Rabbit._"I suppose you have n''t seen such a thing as a golf- ball about anywhere, have you?"]
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ Caddie( visiting)._"What kind o''player is he?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ First Enthusiast._"I say, will you play another round with me on Thursday?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ Golfer._"And what''s your name?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ Licensed Caddy._"Carry your clubs, sir?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ McFoozler( after a steady sequence of misses)._"Ah-- er-- is there a_ limit_ for these links?"]
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ Policeman._"Where did you get that bag?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ Sanguine Golfer._"Is that on the''carpet,''caddie?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ She._"Why, Mr. Smith, you do n''t mean to say you have taken up golf?"
38683	*****[ Illustration:_ Tommy._"I say, do you know who''s winning?"
38683	And you''re never going out without your theodolite?
38683	And_ would_ you mind driving that sheep away?"]
38683	Are you a Protectionist or a Total Abstainer?
38683	Are you married or single?
38683	Been round the links yet?"
38683	Besides, I was told that the standard of play had been so raised----"Raised?
38683	Browning_) Do you hear the widows weeping, O my brothers, Wedded but a few brief years?
38683	D''ye no ca''that excitement?"]
38683	Did you do as I told you, winning smile and all?"
38683	Div ye ken what he says when he foozles a ba''?"
38683	Do n''t you know where the ball is?"
38683	Do you ask their grazing widows in their sorrow Why their tears are falling so?
38683	Elder MacNab._"Wha- at, man, gie up gowf?"
38683	Got your clubs?
38683	Have you seen a lady''s club anywhere?"
38683	How does he play?"
38683	Is n''t that the handle?"
38683	My drive lay on a buttercup, and who the deuce can be expected to play off buttercups?
38683	New idea?
38683	Not very; even a year ago you must have seen pneumatic golf balls-- filled with compressed air?
38683	Or choose between the Premier''s predilection And Rosebery''s deliberate rejection?
38683	Shall I lead the way?"
38683	Simkins?"
38683	Smythe?"
38683	So I ses to them quite respeckfull like, as''ow both their scores is inakkerite and should I keep them both in fuchure?
38683	What do you use it for?"
38683	What do_ you_ think, Mr. Nobbs?
38683	What does he say?"
38683	What''s the programme for to- morrow?"
38683	Where is it gone?"
38683	Where to?
38683	Which stick----?"
38683	Who then, in face of functions so diverse, Will call thee, golf, a blessing or a curse?
38683	Why are you going away?"
38683	Why ca n''t they do something?
38683	Why do n''t you_ take it away_ from the dog?"]
38683	Why not a Golf Court on the links?]
38683	Yes, the young golf widows, O my brothers, Do you ask them why they weep?
38683	_ Caddie( engaged)._"_''I m?_ He just plays as if it was for pleesure!"]
38683	_ Golf Player._"Now then, what are you grinning at, boy?
38683	_ Golfer._"What d''you mean, you idiot?"
38683	_ Inoffensive Stranger._ Yes?
38683	_ Licensed Caddy._"Carry your caddy, sir?"]
38683	_ Old Hand._"Whot did you go round in?"
38683	_ Really_, you know----_ Second M._ 420 yards?
38683	_ Second G.M._ When did you get to know him?
38683	_ Sensitive Golfer._"And what''s funny about him?"
38683	_ Tinker._"What for?"
38683	_ Tinker._"What?"
38683	_ Young Lady._"Why?"
38683	have you seen a golf- ball fall anywhere here, please?"
45748	Ai n''t ye got no teeth of yer own?
45748	Am I holding the thing right?]
45748	Are you coming with the guns this afternoon, Miss Maud?
45748	Call that a good dawg? 45748 Call this rabbit shootin''?
45748	Did you? 45748 Do you know Lord Peckham?"
45748	Enjoying it, old chap?
45748	Good Heavens!--You''re not going to shoot that fox?
45748	Grand day, is n''t it?
45748	Have you seen that account of our fishing competition in the_ Little Peddlington Gazette_, sir?
45748	Have you shot often, uncle?
45748	How''s that, John?
45748	I say, my boy, seen any birds this way?
45748	I say, what do you do with your game?
45748	Now I wonder what he''ll take? 45748 Now, Grandison, His Royal Highness will be tired of waiting: why do n''t you send in the beaters?"
45748	Now, do n''t you boys know that nobody can catch fish in this stream except with my-- er-- a-- special permit?
45748	Take, sir? 45748 Very odd, Robins, that I do n''t hit anything?"
45748	Well, old chap, what sort o''sport?]
45748	Wha''s catchin''fesh?!]
45748	What about the birds?
45748	What are yer tryin''ter catch-- mice?]
45748	What are you doin''here? 45748 What did you aim at?"]
45748	What powder are these loaded with, my boy?
45748	What sport? 45748 Why ca n''t you look after your beast of a dog?
45748	''Been fishing?
45748	(_ Our sporting French friend, voted dangerous, has been given a beat to himself._)--_Chorus._"Well, Count, what luck?"
45748	***** A POINT OF TRESPASS.--_Irate Owner of this side of water._"Are you aware that you are trespassing in this water, young man?"
45748	***** To WELL- INFORMED PISCATORIALS.--_Query._ What sort of fish is a Nod?
45748	***** WALTON''S LIFE OF HOOKER.--Is this another name for Izaak Walton''s_ Complete Angler_?
45748	***** When is a fisherman like a Hindoo?
45748	*****[ Illustration: A BLANK DAY.--"Well, dear, did you get anything?"
45748	*****[ Illustration: FROM DEE- SIDE.--_Piscator._"Yes, my boy, ai n''t he a beauty?
45748	*****[ Illustration: MISPLACED SYMPATHY.--"Well?
45748	*****[ Illustration: MORE ORNAMENTAL THAN USEFUL.--"Just give that bit o''lead a bite atween yer teeth, will yer, matie?"
45748	*****[ Illustration: SHOOTING PROSPECTS_ Johnnie Bangs._"I say, old man, do you mind taking these cartridges out?
45748	*****[ Illustration: SOMETHING LIKE PRESERVATION.--_Irate Individual._"Are you aware, sir, that you are fishing in preserved water?"
45748	*****[ Illustration: THE GENTLE CRAFTSMAN(?
45748	*****[ Illustration: WET AND DRY.--_Careful Wife._"Are you very wet, dear?"
45748	*****[ Illustration:"So you do n''t think much of my retrievers?"
45748	*****[ Illustration:"What bait are yer usin'', Billie?"
45748	*****[ Illustration:_ Encouraging Prospect._--_Piscator Juvenis._"Any sport, sir?"
45748	*****[ Illustration:_ Fitz._"I say, are_ all_ your beaters out of the wood?"
45748	*****[ Illustration:_ Lunatic( suddenly popping his head over wall)._"What are you doing there?"
45748	*****[ Illustration:_ Robson._"Do you think fishes can hear?"
45748	*****[ Illustration:_ Visitor._"Are there any fish in this river?"
45748	--_Keeper._"Why did n''t you fire the other barrel, m''seer-- the other barrel at the last bird?"
45748	--_Presbyterian Minister._"Do n''t you know it''s wicked to catch fish on the Sawbath?!"
45748	1._"Had ever a bite, Jim?"
45748	And how about the birds?
45748	And is all the fish_ pickled_, then?
45748	And is that why you''re so thin?"]
45748	And mayhap have a sup o''the whisky to spare for somebody else, governor?"]
45748	Any sport this morning?"
45748	Are they plentiful, Gaskins?
45748	Are you fly- fishing, or''eaving the lead?"]
45748	B._"What for?"
45748	But is n''t it rather dangerous to frighten them so much?
45748	By the way"--(_faintly_)--"would-- er-- would_ you_ mind being the_ man_?"]
45748	Ca n''t you see he''s standing right in my way?"]
45748	Could he take less?
45748	Empty yet remains my basket, Cramped and weary grows my fist, Stranger, in despair I ask it, Does the trout in truth exist?
45748	F. H. is introduced to distinguished foreigner_)"You hunt much of the fox, monsieur?
45748	Fallen in?"
45748	For partridges I''ll try no more; Why should I waste in grim despair?
45748	From the bank, or a boat, Will I gaze on my float-- What life is so happy as mine?
45748	Had ever anybody such bad fortune?
45748	Have you caught any fish, Billy?"
45748	Have you ever hit a haystack, even?"
45748	How am I to act now?
45748	How can you bear to spend your time whip-- whip-- whipping at the stream all day long and never a single fish taking the least notice of you?"
45748	How do yer think the what''s- a- names''ll bite, if you keep on a splashin''like that?"]
45748	How many have you bagged?"
45748	I said,"How is it that you muff Your birds, my boy?
45748	I said,"Perchance the day''s too hot?"
45748	I''ve left them-- I say, old chap, got any flies with you?"
45748	Is n''t it fun?
45748	Is one able to surprise him Any time from morn to night?
45748	Is there any fly can rise him, Any hook can hold him tight?
45748	Jiblets?"
45748	Lor''bless us, my dear, have you forgotten the day when you hooked me?"]
45748	N''est ce pas?"]
45748	Tell me, is his belly yellow?
45748	The question has been raised, can one swim in them, in case of an accident?
45748	They flash from the cover-- what lover Of sport does not thrill as they rise In feathered apparel?
45748	Vot more sweet For ze young female- chaser zat Do''ave ze leetle feet?
45748	What d''you say, Smithers, eh?"
45748	What did you catch?"
45748	What''s September to them, without plenty to pot?
45748	Where indeed?
45748	Where is the fly- book?
45748	Which end do I shoot at?"]
45748	Whose is that water up there round the bend?"
45748	Why do n''t ye go and spread yourself out?"
45748	Why do n''t you pick''em up?"
45748	Why on earth are you hiding there?"
45748	Why wo n''t the line run?
45748	Why, I''d like to know how yer proposes to spend the remainder of yer''olidays, eh?"]
45748	Why, bless me, where''s the cartridge?
45748	Will I put it up for your lordship?"]
45748	Would you like to hear the yarn?
45748	_ Does_ he look a splendid fellow When you turn him on his back?
45748	_ Dripping Angler._"You do n''t suppose this is a perspiration, do you?"]
45748	_ Fitz._"Are you sure?"
45748	_ Fitz._"Have you_ counted_ them?"
45748	_ Is_ he spotted red and black?
45748	_ Lunatic._"Caught anything?"
45748	_ Lunatic._"How long have you been there?"
45748	_ P.J._"Bream?"
45748	_ P.J._"Perch?"
45748	_ P.J._"What sport, then?"
45748	_ Snob._"Ah, sell it, do you?
45748	_ Sportsman._"Ever hit it?"]
45748	wh''-wh''-why not?
45748	what''s that splash?
45748	wo n''t they fume, as they look out this morn On these damp furzy swamps, and yon drenched standing corn?
40320	And the company?
40320	And what did you think of the racing?
40320	Going across, I suppose?
40320	How long did you say it would take us to get back?
40320	I guess you like London?
40320	I say, John, do you know your boat leaks?
40320	I say, steward, how do you expect anybody to dry their hands on this towel? 40320 Is n''t it?"
40320	Is there any danger?
40320	Millions of miles, darling? 40320 Now, sir, will you kindly pick out your luggage?
40320	Oh, mister, would you find the captain? 40320 Riparian rights?
40320	Splendid breeze, is n''t it, Gus?
40320	Then do you mean to tell us that you actually reached the North Pole?
40320	Well, ladies and genelmen, I s''pose this is what_ you_ calls_ pleasure_, and comes all the way from London for?
40320	Why how can that be?
40320	Ye- es; but I say, what''s o''clock? 40320 _ First class?_ Now do I_ look it_?"]
40320	_ First class?_ Now do I_ look it_?]
40320	''Ow on earth can yer spree without shindy?
40320	''Tis really too hot to bawl, is it not?
40320	*****[ Illustration: A CRISIS_ His Better and Stouter Half._"Oh, Charley, if we''re upset, you mean to say you expect me to get into_ this_?"
40320	*****[ Illustration: A FLIGHT OF FANCY_ Visitor._"Good morning: tide''s very high this morning, eh?"
40320	*****[ Illustration: ABOVE BRIDGE BOAT AGROUND OFF CHISWICK_ Gallant Member of the L.R.C._"Can I put you ashore, mum?"]
40320	*****[ Illustration: HOW VERY THOUGHTFUL_ Old Lady._"Are you not afraid of getting drown''d when you have the boat so full?"
40320	*****[ Illustration: MOAN, HEARD ON A RAMSGATE BOAT"Why did n''t we go by rail?"]
40320	*****[ Illustration: NOT THE FIRST TIME THEY DON''T AGREE TOGETHER_ Wife._"Is n''t it jolly to think we have the whole day before us?
40320	*****[ Illustration: NOTES FROM COWES"Call this pleasure?
40320	*****[ Illustration: OF MALICE AFORETHOUGHT_ Cheery Official._"All first class''ere, please?"
40320	*****[ Illustration: TOO SOLID_ Skipper._"Did ye got the proveesions Angus?"
40320	*****[ Illustration: VERY CONSIDERATE_ Steward._"Will either of you, gentlemen, dine on board?
40320	*****[ Illustration:"WHAT''S IN A NAME?"
40320	-- Eh?
40320	17. Who was"Parallax"?
40320	Ah, then, must a maid despair?
40320	Ai n''t you glad you''ve got us with you,''Enry?"]
40320	And bands discoursing hackneyed strains, And rockets skyward soaring?
40320	And take me and my traps acrosst-- will yer?"]
40320	And what do you say of the meeting?"
40320	And where does fashion lunch and dine_ Al fresco_, bored and boring?
40320	And wot''s wet''ash, or porridge, or any other stuff, When at the very best of it there''s''ardly''arf enough?
40320	Are only Royal Academicians eligible as"painters"on board?
40320	Are you?"]
40320	At what time in the day, whether previous or subsequent to dinner, is it necessary to"allow for deviations"?
40320	At whose expense is the operation performed?
40320	Can I get anything else for you?
40320	Can a"first mate''s ordinary certificate"be granted by Doctors''Commons or the Archbishop of Canterbury?
40320	Can sailors ever trust"the artificial horizon"?
40320	Can you dance a hornpipe?
40320	Cheek, eh?
40320	Do n''t know what it means; but, after all, what_ does_ that matter?
40320	Eh?
40320	Explains not breakfast but dinner; first meal at 5.30 P.M. Ca n''t we have_ dà © jeuner_ if I pay for it?
40320	Have a cigar?
40320	He says,"I say, we''ll keep sailing until quite late this evening, eh?
40320	Houseboat like Ark-- all in couples-- Joan of Ark in corner with Darby-- Who is she?
40320	How many mates may a sea captain legally possess at any one time?
40320	How often do"the red magnetic pole"and"the blue pole"require repainting?
40320	I wonder which it is?
40320	I''ll allow that in the look of it, the print of it I mean, That all you say is sarved to us; but is it good or clean?
40320	If I did n''t jest fetch our two gals, it''s a pity;--and was n''t they loves?
40320	If neither, what?
40320	If so, under what circumstances?
40320	If so, which?
40320	In case the needles of the compass get out of order, will pins do as well?
40320	In the first place, what is a"lightship"?
40320	Is it the duty of the surgeon on board ship to attend the"heeling"?
40320	Is n''t it time to turn back?--What d''ye think?"]
40320	Is this spelling of his name correct?
40320	Is"Azimuth"an idol, or something to eat?
40320	Is"Lubber"a term of opprobrium or of endearment?
40320	Is"main- brace"a part of rigging, or of sailor''s costume?
40320	Is"sextant"the feminine of"sexton"?
40320	Like a kind of a sort of-- I do n''t know what, And talk sea- slang, to the world''s surprise?
40320	Not wishing to appear ignorant, I ask Bigheart,"Why not make a course S.S. by E.?"
40320	Oh why do they shout and make such a rout, When one boat another one chases?
40320	Pass the claret- cup, please-- Why do they want to interrupt our luncheon?
40320	Punch in the Ocean on the broad of his back, singeth_) I''m afloat, I''m afloat, what matters it where?
40320	Punch._"Why, Johnny, what''s the matter?"
40320	Rooral quiet, and rest, and refinement?
40320	Seems to have been a race about something-- why ca n''t they row quietly?
40320	So I said to her, lowly and gently,"Shall I elp you, O fair lovely gal?"
40320	Somehow or other they take naturally to the sea-- now, do n''t they?
40320	Still, would you mind putting out that cigar?
40320	T._(_ to T._)"Feel a little more comfortable, dear?
40320	The payshent hangler sets in a punt, Willee ketch kold?
40320	Try to act as nautically as possible, and ask skipper at frequent intervals"How does she bear?"
40320	Vot can zey do against our submarines?--our leetle Gustave Zêde?
40320	Was there any winning?
40320	We do n''t wish to offend, But are these first thoughts with the dashing young women Who do n''t dash too much in a spurt off Bourne End?
40320	Well, it''s true; But a quill and big sprawl is the fashion, so wot is a feller to do?
40320	What makes me gammon my chummiest friends To"try the fun"--which I know''s all rot-- And earn the dead- cut in which all this ends?
40320	What makes me learned in cutters and yawls, And time- allowance-- which others must tot--, And awfully nervous in sudden squalls?
40320	What makes me qualmish, timorous, pale,( Though rather than own it I''d just be shot) When the_ Fay_ in the wave- crests dips her sail?
40320	What makes me rig me in curious guise?
40320	What makes me settle my innermost soul On winning a purposeless silver pot, And walk with a( very much) nautical roll?
40320	What makes me snooze in a narrow, close bunk, Till the cramp my limbs doth twist and knot, And brave discomfort, and face blue- funk?
40320	What makes me sprawl on the deck all day, And at night play"Nap"till I lose a lot, And grub in a catch- who- can sort of a way?
40320	What makes me"patter"to skipper and crew In a kibosh style that a child might spot, And tug hard ropes till my knuckles go blue?
40320	What makes me, in short, an egregious ass, A bore, a butt, who, not caring a jot For the sea, as a sea- king am seeking to pass?
40320	What rule is there as to showing lights on nearing Liverpool?
40320	What''s our hour, I wonder?
40320	What''s that?"
40320	When in doubt, would you consult"the visible horizon,""the sensible horizon,"or"the rational horizon"?
40320	Whence derived?
40320	Where are regattas?
40320	Where are trains Their noisy crowds outpouring?
40320	Where build the timid coot and hern, The foot of man ignoring?
40320	Where do the stars dramatic shine''Mid satellites adoring?
40320	Where do we meet confections sweet And toilets neat?
40320	Where does our dear secluded stream Most gaily gleam?
40320	Where is the steward?
40320	Where is this_ urbs in rure_?--where This Cockney Fair?
40320	Where sings the thrush amid the fern?
40320	Where sits secure the water vole Beside her hole?
40320	Where trills the lark upsoaring?
40320	Which?
40320	Who ever heard the like?
40320	Who sez''Enley ai n''t up to old form, that Society gives it the slip?
40320	Who was Kosciusko?
40320	Who''s left this here mop hangin''out?"
40320	Why did n''t you get out into mid- stream?"
40320	Why should the stewards stand?
40320	Why should we give up_ meringues_ and sponge- cakes?
40320	Why two hours before starting?
40320	Will it be more-- than five minutes?
40320	Would you like your cigar case now?
40320	Would"mean time"always refer to lowering wages or diminishing rations?
40320	_ Gale._--Why-- was-- I-- ever-- born?
40320	_ He._ But do n''t the servants rather kick at it?
40320	_ He._ Will the stores send so far?
40320	_ Skipper._"An''what in the woarld will ye be doin''wi''aal that bread?"]
40320	_ Uncle._"But I---- What''s to be done?"
37882	A little more jelly?
37882	All bog like this?
37882	And which is the way to her house?
37882	Are n''t you hungry?
37882	Aye, mon, an''he''s no a bad shot?
37882	But, sir, said Mr. Macdougall,"do you belong to any clan, or what tartan will you have?"
37882	Ca n''t you sit still?
37882	Did ye hear Dougal? 37882 Do n''t you think we might sit on the bed?"
37882	Do you expect a circulating library on the top of Ben- y- Gloe?
37882	Eh, sir, yer gun''s no loaded is''t? 37882 Going to smoke in here?"
37882	Hech, sir, what for would it need washing? 37882 I hope we sha n''t miss the train at Stirling?"
37882	I say, Mac, confound it all,_ which eye do you use_?]
37882	I suppose, remarked Gwendolen,"one_ could_ get a bath at the Temperance Inn we passed on the road?"
37882	Is''t zebras? 37882 Now I suppose, farmer, that large cairn of stones has some history?"
37882	Oh, we''ll soon put that all right-- have you got a cork?
37882	Smethdid ye say his neem was?
37882	That must be the cowhouse byre, do n''t you call it?
37882	Well, now-- er-- what can you give us for dinner, as soon as we''ve had a wash?
37882	What are you reading, dear?
37882	What hill?
37882	What will you have, coachman?
37882	Who is the truculent- looking villain with red whiskers?
37882	Would you like them done in''Russia''or''Morocco,''sir?
37882	Ye''ll be the gentry from London Mistress McDiarmat is expectin''?
37882	''A little late to- day, are n''t we?''
37882	( Why does n''t Horatio MacCulloch, noble artist and Highland- man, come to London and be_ our_ tartan R.A.?)
37882	(_ After a pause-- to vindicate his character as a cicerone._) Did ye nottice a bit building at the end of the loch over yonder?
37882	(_ Miss Rose shakes her head._) No?
37882	(_ To Miss Rose,"pawkily"._) Ye''ll hae an affaictionate regaird for that neem, I''m thenking, Mess Rawse?
37882	(_ To a friend of his, who joins them._) An''hoo''s a''wi''ye, Mester McKerrow?
37882	(_ With gallantry._) What do ye say, noo, Messis McTarvish-- wull ye no come an''tak''a bite wi''me?
37882	***** FROM THE MOORS.--_Sportsman._"Much rain Donald?"
37882	***** TWO ON A TOUR"Can you tell me which is Croft Lochay?"
37882	*****[ Illustration: A POOR ADVERTISEMENT_ Tourist._"I suppose you feel proud to have such a distinguished man staying in your house?"
37882	*****[ Illustration: AUGUST IN SCOTLAND_ Bag Carrier( to Keeper)._"What does the maister aye ask that body tae shoot wi''him for?
37882	*****[ Illustration: CAUTIOUS_ Visitor( at out- of- the- way inn in the North)._"Do you know anything about salmon- poaching in this neighbourhood?"
37882	*****[ Illustration: HIS IDEA OF IT_ Native._"Is''t no a daft- like place this tae be takin''a view?
37882	*****[ Illustration: ILLUSTRATED QUOTATIONS(_ One so seldom finds an Artist who realises the poetic conception._)"Is this the noble Moor...?"
37882	*****[ Illustration: ISOLATION!--OFF THE ORKNEYS_ Southern Tourist._"''Get any newspapers here?"
37882	*****[ Illustration: LATEST FROM THE MOORS_ Intelligent Foreigner._"Tell me-- zee''Ilanders, do zay always wear zee raw legs?"]
37882	*****[ Illustration: LOCAL SUNDAY MORNING_ Tourist( staying at the Glenmulctem Hotel-- dubiously)._"Can I-- ah-- have a boat?"
37882	*****[ Illustration: ON THE HILLS_ Deer Stalker( old hand, and fond of it)._"Is n''t it exciting?
37882	*****[ Illustration: THE MATERNAL INSTINCT_ The Master._"I''m sayin'', wumman, ha''e ye gotten the tickets?"
37882	*****[ Illustration: ZEAL_ Saxon Tourist._"Been at the kirk?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:"CANNY"_ First North Briton._"''T''s a fine day, this?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:"GAME"IN THE HIGHLANDS_ Captain Jinks._"Birds plentiful, I hope, Donald?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:"IN FOR IT"_ Innocent Tourist._"No fish to be caught in Loch Fine now?
37882	*****[ Illustration:"THE LAST STRAW""Tired out, are you?
37882	*****[ Illustration:"UNCO CANNY"_ Noble Sportsman._"Missed, eh?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:"VITA FUMUS"_ Tonal._"Whar''ll ye hae been till, Tugal?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:"WINGED"_ First Gael._"What''s the matter, Tonal?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:"Where can that confounded fellow have got to with the lunch- basket?"]
37882	*****[ Illustration:( LOCH) FYNE GRAMMAR(_ A Sad Fact for the School Board_)_ Tugal._"Dud ye''ll ever see the_ I- oo- na_ any more before?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:_ Cockney Sportsman._"Haw-- young woman, whose whiskies do you keep here?"
37882	*****[ Illustration:_ English Tourist( in the far North, miles from anywhere)._"Do you mean to say that you and your family live here all the winter?
37882	A HINT TO LUSTY SPORTSMEN]*****[ Illustration: SOONER OR LATER_ Old Gent._"When is the steamer due here?"
37882	A went to hev a bit talk wi''him th''ither evenin'', an''he offered me a glass o''whuskey, d''ye see?
37882	Ah, that''s rather like a goldfish in shape, eh?
37882	All very well to say go back; but where were we?
37882	An''I suppose that''s the costume you go_ salmon- stalking_ in?"]
37882	And how do you support yourself?"
37882	But I essay of new,"How many has he of it from here to the lake?"
37882	But ye''ll be in nae hurry till I get tae the end o''the raw?"
37882	Can ye no gie a whustle on tha ram''lin''brute o''mine?
37882	Do those facts suggest anything to you in the way of costume?"
37882	Do you know''Glen Accron''?"
37882	Fitz- James who?__ Her Comp._ I fancy he''s the man who owns this line of coaches.
37882	Have n''t you got a_ dry_ one somewhere?
37882	Haw-- who the deuce is McPherson?"
37882	How far is it to this Glenstarvit?
37882	I indicate the sky and my umbrella, and I say"Rain?"
37882	I say,"Distance?"
37882	I should like to----What is the legend----?"
37882	I''m having no luck!--and yet I seem to see two birds in place of one?
37882	Is n''t there a train in the morning?"
37882	Is that the house, do you think?"
37882	It is true that I see not how I can to descend, for I am_ entouré_--how say you?
37882	McFuskey?"
37882	More snorin''in the sermon?"
37882	O Jack, is n''t it heavenly?"
37882	Parr._ I''d like to ask ye if ye conseeder it fair or jest to charrge us tippence every time we''d go aff the groon?
37882	Parr._ Ye''ll hae a boatle o''leemonade at my expense?
37882	Parr._ Yon grup- luikin''tyke?
37882	S._"McPherson?
37882	That was surely very strong whiskey your master gave me at lunch?"
37882	Then maybe ye''ll be acquaint with a Mester Alexawnder Smeth fro''Paisley?
37882	Then, holding firmly the most strong of my umbrellas, I say to the coacher,"He goes to fall of the rain, is it not?"
37882	There is but that which one calls a"boot", and me, Auguste, can I to lie myself there at the middle of the baggages?
37882	To think there are folk that still revel In Summer, and fling themselves down, In the Park, or St. James?
37882	Wad ony o''them dae, sir?"]
37882	What the d---- Possessed us to hurry from town?
37882	What''s wrang the noo?
37882	When we wos talking to one of the''ands, did you notice''i m saying''_ nozzing_''for''_ nothink_,''and''_ she_''for''_ e_''?"]
37882	Why have n''t you cleaned my carriage, as I told you last night?"
37882	Why, what do you do when any of you are ill?
37882	Will ye gie''s a haund up wi''''t?"
37882	Would those be_ grouse_?
37882	Wull ye bait sexpence against McBannock, Mester Pairritch?
37882	Ye''ll no?
37882	You have seen the cataracts of the Nile?
37882	[_ He relapses into a contented silence.__ Chatty P._ Anything remarkable about the building?
37882	[_ They pass a shooting party with beaters.__ Chatty P.( as before)._ What are they going to shoot?
37882	_ A Chatty P.( to the driver; not because he cares, but simply for the sake of conversation)._ What fish do you catch in that river there?
37882	_ Artist( pointing to St. Bannoch''s, in the distance)._"What place is that down at the bottom of the loch?"
37882	_ Cantire._--Can''t you?
37882	_ Captain J._"And gorillas, no doubt?"
37882	_ Captain J._"Any zebras?"
37882	_ Chatty P.( persistently)._ You''ve seen goldfish-- know what they''re like, eh?
37882	_ Cottager( with bob- curtsey)._"Thank ye, sir, I''sure it''s very kind of ye-- but dinna ye think that little one over yonder wants it more?"]
37882	_ Driver._ Yon hell?
37882	_ First Gillie._"Wull yon be the MacWhannel, Ian Gorm?"
37882	_ First ditto._"Gaun t''Aberdeen, maybe?"
37882	_ First ditto._"Ye''ll be travellin''?"
37882	_ Highland Grocer._"Decent cigars?
37882	_ Highland Shepherd( doubtingly)._"Ye''ll get porter tae yir parrich?"
37882	_ Highland Shepherd._"An''drink, too?"
37882	_ His Comp._ What--_that_?
37882	_ Hostess of the Village Inn._"_ Ile_, sir?
37882	_ Jock._"An''whaur''s yer faither?"
37882	_ Landlord._"Mistake?
37882	_ Old Stalker._"Hoot, mon, wad he hae me bring out a scythe?"]
37882	_ Sandy the piper._"An''fat kin''o''a piper would your lordship be needin''?"
37882	_ Sandy._"An''what like is he?"
37882	_ Sapristi!_ I say,"Hours?"
37882	_ Saxon Passenger( who had just bought the estate)._"What sort of a place is it?"
37882	_ Saxon T._"How far is it?"
37882	_ The Chatty P._ Perch?
37882	_ The Chatty P._ What do you call that mountain, driver, eh?
37882	_ Tourist._"Are they Havanahs, or Manillas?"
37882	_ Tourist._"But I thought you-- ah-- never broke the-- aw-- Sabbath in Scotland?"
37882	_ Tourist._"Have you any decent cigars?"
37882	_ Tugal._"At ta McTavishes''funeral----"_ Tonal._"An''is ta Tavish deed?"
37882	he says, with increased joyousness of manner;"the wind is blowing that way, is it?
35027	And no more trains on the down line?
35027	Are we allowed five minutes for lunch?
35027	Did you ever''ave an old hall?
35027	Do I know the station?
35027	Do I mind the draught?
35027	Do you mind, sir, that window being closed?
35027	Is n''t this first- class?
35027	Is there no_ special_ train?
35027	Is this right for Windsor?
35027	Nor an_ excursion_ train?
35027	Porter,said that elderly gentleman,"''ave you seen my old hall?"
35027	Then,''ow do I know where I''m going?]
35027	Whose train is it?]
35027	You do n''t mind, I hope, the window-- eh?
35027	You''re quite sure?
35027	_ Hain''t_ it? 35027 (_ Sniff._)Oh, is n''t it lovely, Hilly?
35027	(_ Yawns._)"Any chance of a smash to- day!?"
35027	***** SMALL POTATOES.--_Q._ Why are regular travellers by the Shepherd''s Bush and City Railway like certain vegetables?
35027	***** WEDNESBURY STATION.--_First Collier._"Trains leave for Birmingham, 10.23 a.m., 6.23 p.m."_ Second Collier._"What''s p.m.?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: A BANK HOLIDAY SKETCH_ Facetious Individual( from carriage window)._"Change''ere,''ave we?
35027	*****[ Illustration: A DEFINITION WANTED"Beg pardon, sir, but do n''t you see the notice?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: A LUXURIOUS HABIT_ Philanthropist( to railway porter)._"Then what time do you get to bed?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: A SCENE AT A RAILWAY STATION_ Groom._"Beg pardon, sir,--but wos your name Tomkins?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: A STATION ON THE NORTH STAFFORDSHIRE LINE_ Traveller._"Now then, boy, where''s the clerk who gives the ticket?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: ABOLITION OF SECOND- CLASS CARRIAGES"Are there any second- class carriages on this line, Rogers?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: AFTER AN EASTERTIDE FESTIVITY-- ON THE INNER CIRCLE_ Guard._"Where are you for?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: AN INQUIRING MIND"Is this_ our_ train, aunty?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: BEHIND TIME_ Ticket Collector._"This your boy, mum?
35027	*****[ Illustration: COLD COMFORT_ Traveller( waiting for train already twenty minutes late)._"Porter, when do you expect that train to come in?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: FROM THE GENERAL TO THE PARTICULAR_ Young Lady( who has never travelled by this line before)._"Do you go to Kew Gardens?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: HIGHLY ACCOMMODATING_ Stout Party( rather hot)._"Hope you do n''t find the breeze too much, sir?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: INOPPORTUNE_ Newsboy( to irritable old gent who has just lost his train)._"Buy a comic paper, sir?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: MOST OFFENSIVE_ Railway Porter._"If you please, sir, was this your''n?"]
35027	*****[ Illustration: RAILWAY AMALGAMATION-- A PLEASANT STATE OF THINGS]_ Passenger._"What''s the matter, guard?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: RAILWAY LITERATURE_ Bookstall Keeper._"Book, ma''am?
35027	*****[ Illustration: REGULAR IRREGULARITY_ Passenger( in a hurry)._"Is this train punctual?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: RISKS_ Shrewd Clerk( with an eye to his percentage)._"Take an accident insurance ticket, sir?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: SATISFACTORY_ Bumptious Old Gent( in a directorial tone)._"Ah, guard-- what are we-- ah-- waiting for?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: THE H GRATUITOUS_ Lady._"Can I book through from here to Oban?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: THE LEVEL CROSSING"Are there no more trains this evening on the up line, porter?"
35027	*****[ Illustration: WHY TAKE A CHILL?
35027	*****[ Illustration:_ Friend( to minor rail official at provincial station)_"''Ullo Cocky, where''ave you been all this time?"
35027	*****[ Illustration:_ Impatient Traveller._"Er-- how long will the next train be, portah?"
35027	*****[ Illustration:_ Old Maid._"Is this a smoking compartment, young man?"
35027	*****[ Illustration:_ Porter._"Now, marm, will you please to move, or was you corded to your box?"]
35027	*****[ Illustration:_ Ticket Clerk._"Where for, ma''am?"
35027	--(AT ALL THE LIBRARIES)_ First Young Lady._"How did you like_ Convict Life_, dear?"
35027	Ai n''t that man just got out?
35027	And he sez,"No, I''m a Yank,"and then I knoo''oo''e was, d''ye see?
35027	And what time does the train leave for London?"
35027	And you selected a ladies''carriage?
35027	Anything fresh?"
35027	But how do you get it over the fences?"]
35027	But is me and Mrs. Parker expected to go third class?"
35027	Ca n''t yer find us a old lady and two little gals with lots o''boxes?
35027	Did yer know''oo he_ was_?
35027	Does n''t it just_ smell_ of the season?"
35027	Er-- by the bye, could you tell me_ what''s won to- day_?"]
35027	Fine sight I expect it wur?"
35027	Good- bye, my boy; just one kiss more; You''ll write to mother now and then?
35027	Hain''t it a beauty?"
35027	Have n''t you got any silver?"
35027	Have you missed it?"]
35027	How could he know we''re we d to- day?
35027	How much?"
35027	How much?"
35027	How_ do_ you pronounce Charing Cross?
35027	I dessay, now, when all''s put to the test, you''re not a moneyed man-- no more than I am myself?
35027	I still could angrily complain, Why travel so absurdly fast?
35027	I''m no lover of a cigar, if you understand me; but I can go into company where they_ are_, d''ye_ see_?
35027	Is there a panic?"
35027	Now, why on earth''s the fellow grinning?
35027	Now, you b''leeve what I''m a''goin''to tell yer?
35027	Now,''ow do you explain such a thing as that?
35027	Of the people on the platform?
35027	Poor things, what will be done for''em?"
35027	Rushes precipitately down brass- bound steps, and presents his ticket to be snipped.__ Snipper( inspecting ticket)._ Queen''s Road, Bayswater?
35027	SCENE--_Bar of a railway refreshment- room.__ Barmaid._"Tea, sir?"
35027	SCENE--_Country Station__ Gent._"Are the sandwiches fresh, my boy?"
35027	Simple faith assuredly, for does he not provide on the principle that our insides are hardy and vigorous and unspoilt by the art of cooking?
35027	Surely your American trains go much faster than this?"
35027	T.( after a pause)._ As you have no one to present you, I must ask"if you are any lady''s husband?"
35027	T.( regardless of grammar)._ Who''s somebody?
35027	T._ What next?
35027	That''s one of those curious tailless Manx cats, is it not?"
35027	They sit and swear at such a train, And ask,"Shall we get out and walk?"
35027	Want a little Sunday money, I s''pose, sir?"]
35027	Well I thought it_ wos, by the look of the passingers!_"]*****[ Illustration:_ Guard._"Some one been smoking, I think?"
35027	What do you mean by saying it is right, sir?
35027	What do you want a- tryin to get in there for?
35027	What does it matter to you, sir, whether I''m single or not?
35027	What is it?
35027	What''s your age?"
35027	Where''s your ticket?"
35027	Why could n''t I have met you yesterday, now?
35027	Will''t never cool?
35027	[_ Looks at the roof of the carriage.__ He( with meaning)._ No more pickled onions, eh?
35027	[_ Looks for the communicating cord!_]*****[ Illustration: RATHER SUSPICIOUS_ First Passenger._"Had pretty good sport?"
35027	_ At Paddington._ Guard, mark"Engaged"this carriage, pray; Now, why on earth''s the fellow grinning?
35027	_ At Waterloo._ Good- bye my boy; just one kiss more; You''ll write to mother now and then?
35027	_ Bandsman._"Aw can not?
35027	_ Boy._"Second- class, sir?"
35027	_ Cab Ruffian._"No; what sort of fare is it?"
35027	_ Clerk._"Oh, are you?
35027	_ Clerk._"Single?"
35027	_ Clerk._"What station?"
35027	_ Country Cousin( to Haughty Official, in an agony of entreaty)._ Is this train for Queen''s Road, Bayswater?
35027	_ Countryman._"What not a little tooy tarrier?
35027	_ Diner._"Wha- stashun ve- you- got?"]
35027	_ Elderly Female._"Yus, ai n''t it?
35027	_ First P._ Liberty?
35027	_ First Passenger._"''Make birds dear, wo n''t it?"
35027	_ Male T._ No doubt your husband agrees with the opinion?
35027	_ Mother( down upon him)._"Oh, is he?
35027	_ Noble Countess._"Why is it against the rules, my good man?"
35027	_ Our Youthful Landscape Painter( dissembling his rapture)._"All right-- most happy-- what is it to be?"
35027	_ Passenger( nervously)._"Wha''for?!"
35027	_ Passenger( puzzled)._"E-- h-- I do n''t understand----"_ Porter._"Do n''t yer?
35027	_ Passenger._"_ Should_ I?
35027	_ Porter._"Heaw long?
35027	_ Second Do._"Then, what''s a.m.?"
35027	_ Second Lift Man._"What''s up, then?"
35027	_ Second Passenger._"''Ave they?
35027	_ Small Boy( indignantly)._"Who are yer callin''a kid?
35027	_ The Chatty W.( to the L. of F.)._ I think I''ve seen you about Shinglebeach,''ave I not?
35027	_ The L. of F._???!!!
35027	_ The L. of F._???!!!
35027	_ The L. of F._???!!!
35027	_ The S.( afflicted by sudden compunction as he fills his pipe)._ I''ope I''m not takin''a libbaty in askin yer?
35027	_ The S._ He_ did_; I went up to him, and I sez,"Excuse me,"I sez, like that, I sez,"but are you an American, or a German?"
35027	_ Thompson( interrogatively, to beauteous but haughty damsel, whom he has just helped to alight)._"I beg your pardon?"
35027	_ Ticket Clerk( explosively)._ Single or return?
35027	_ Would_ you mind taking them into the_ second- class_ refreshment- room?"]
35027	are you off?"
35027	did he, though?
35027	do n''t_ you_ object to a cigar?
35027	is that much?
35027	mister, please run over a few of the willages on this railway, will yer?"
35027	there''s a train just behind us, is n''t there?"
35027	we''re stopping, I get out''ere, do n''t I?
35027	who will save the aural drum By softening to some gentler squeak The whistle''s shrill_ staccato_ shriek?
33824	Aller cart, father? 33824 And is the wine drinkable?"
33824	Are you dining anywhere to- morrow night?
33824	Do_ you_ ever kiss the missus, Charles?
33824	Er-- will somebody pass the_ salt_, please?]
33824	Freddy, dear, can you tell me what_ is_ the difference between''calipash''and''calipee''?
33824	Had? 33824 How d''ye do, my lord?
33824	Hullo, Monty, what have you got in your button- hole? 33824 I say, old man, what matches do you smoke?"]
33824	Is Mr. Binks a_ vegetarian_?
33824	Now George, my boy, there''s a glass of champagne for you-- don''t get such stuff at school, eh? 33824 Now, Mr. Barleymead, how do you like this''Chateau Lafitte''?
33824	Oh,--(_seeing it in quite a different light_)--"_next_ Thursday, did you say?
33824	Seventy- four, sir?
33824	There I stood, the terrible abyss yawning at my feet----_ That Brute Brown._"Was it yawning when you got there, or did it start after you arrived?"]
33824	There, my boy, what do you think of that? 33824 Twenty thousand pounds worth of plate on the table, Sir Gorgius?
33824	Waiter, what''s this? 33824 What am I goin''to do with it?
33824	What can I have for dinner, waiter?
33824	What table?
33824	What,''aven''t you''eard, sir?
33824	Where shall it be?
33824	Where shall we dine?
33824	Will ye take anny more drink, sor?]
33824	William, where''s John? 33824 Wonder how much it costs him to_ get into_''em?"]
33824	Would you like to propose your toast now, my lord, or should we let''em enjoy themselves a bit longer?]
33824	Yes?--_and was it_?]
33824	''M-- let''s see-- a_ glass of milk_, sir, was n''t it?"]
33824	(_ Aloud._) And liqueurs?
33824	***** DISCLAIMER BY A DINER- OUT Abolish party?
33824	*****[ Illustration: A BAD ENDING.--"Well, William, what''s become of Robert?"
33824	*****[ Illustration: BROWN AND JONES OVER THEIR WINE_ Jones._"How would I take Cronstadt?
33824	*****[ Illustration: IN THE DAYS OF THE CRINOLINE-- DINING UNDER DIFFICULTIES]*****[ Illustration: REPLETION.--_Robert._"Pudding or cheese, sir?"
33824	*****[ Illustration: NO EXCUSE FOR NOT BELIEVING.--"Then you do n''t believe in phrenology?"
33824	*****[ Illustration: QUITE A NOVELTY.--_Amiable Experimentalist._"Makes a delicious side dish, does n''t it?
33824	*****[ Illustration: SO VERY CONSCIENTIOUS!--_Master of the House._"Why, Jenkins, what on earth is the matter with you?
33824	*****[ Illustration: TOO LITERAL BY HALF SCENE.--_A"cheap"chop- house not a hundred miles from L-- nd-- n.__ Waiter._"Paysir?
33824	*****[ Illustration: Why not a phonographic after- dinner speech machine?
33824	*****[ Illustration:"IN CONFIDENCE"_ Dining- room, Apelles Club__ Diner._"Thomson, do the members ask for this wine?"
33824	*****[ Illustration:"WHO PAYS THE PIPER CALLS THE TUNE"_ Johnnie( to waiter)._"Aw-- you''re the boss-- head waiter, eh?"
33824	*****[ Illustration:_ Commissionaire._"Would you like a four- wheeler or a''ansom sir?"
33824	*****[ Illustration:_ Farmer._"I say, John, what do you call a pineapple-- a fruit or a vegetable?"
33824	*****[ Illustration:_ He._"Fond of Bridge?"
33824	*****[ Illustration:_ Old Jones._"Yes, my boy,_ there''s_ wine for you, eh?
33824	*****[ Illustration:_ Voice from above._"What are you doing down there, Parkins?"
33824	A-- a-- let me see-- a-- which is the elder?"]
33824	Am I fit to go intodrawingroom?
33824	And as to_ entrées_--will you have cockscomb cachous or sweetbread pilules?
33824	And now shall we have a whitewash before we join the ladies?
33824	And shall you be needing anything in the way of stimulants?
33824	And what about sweets, cheese, and savouries?
33824	Any brandy- balls with the coffee creams?
33824	Are n''t you ashamed of yourself?"
33824	Are you aware that our host has a French cook?
33824	Besides, who was now to pay the bill?
33824	Bring you a slice, sir?
33824	But my hostess?
33824	Could n''t you write and put off your friends till the week_ after_, ma''am?"]
33824	Godolphin._"Shall we meet at Dunchester House to- morrow?"
33824	Have you noticed any difference?"
33824	He stopped dead when he saw me, slapped me on the shoulder, and said,''Surely this must be my dear old friend, Boreham?''"
33824	How is it my wishes have not been attended to?"
33824	How is it you''re dining at the club?
33824	How?
33824	I hope it was not_ illness_ that prevented you from coming?"
33824	Jinks?"
33824	Jones._ And pray, Mr. Jones, what is the matter now?
33824	Let me see-- which club was that?"
33824	Potatoes and greens, sir-- And any French beans, sir?"
33824	Real turtle, eh?
33824	Scene closes in upon the temperance orgy._*****[ Illustration: A PERSONAL GRIEVANCE"I say, wo n''t they let_ you_ go into long trousers?"]
33824	See?"]
33824	Tea?
33824	That''s coming it rather strong, ai n''t it?"
33824	Then, with regard to fish?
33824	Then-- where_ am_ I?"]
33824	Thought your wife told me she had the Browns and Smiths to dinner this evening?"
33824	Turkish or Persian?
33824	Well, what do you think he did?
33824	Wha''ll er misshus shay?"
33824	What did Capt''n du Cane shay?
33824	What do you mean?"
33824	What do you think of that?"
33824	What does that mean, Polly?"
33824	What form are you in, old boy?"
33824	What more natural than that I should ask her to give me a dinner as some slight return?
33824	What''ll you''ave, sir?"
33824	What, is he gone?"
33824	What_ is_ the secret?
33824	When?"
33824	Where do you suppose I bought it?
33824	Where was Mademoiselle Faustine?
33824	Where was she?
33824	Who''s it for?"
33824	Whose delight were greater Than mine?
33824	Why had I not given him more notice?
33824	Why?"
33824	Yessir-- Whataveyeradsir?"
33824	You do n''t mean to say you''ve joined the blue ribbon army?"
33824	_ British Farmer._"What sort o''cheese do you call this?
33824	_ First Gilded Youth._"Had any breakfast, old chappie?"
33824	_ He._"Do you know I always think there''s something_ wanting_ in people who do n''t play?"]
33824	_ Head Waiter._"Beg pardon, sir?"
33824	_ Head Waiter._"The what, sir?
33824	_ Host._"Can you say,''The scenery''s truly rural''bout here?''"
33824	_ Hostess._ That would be cheaper than having each course in separate tablets,_ would n''t_ it?
33824	_ Hostess._ We''ve some people coming in to take a few tablets with us this evening; what do you think I''d better have?
33824	_ Professor Guzzleton._ And that that French cook is the best in London?
33824	_ Professor Guzzleton._ Then do n''t you think we had better defer all further conversation till we meet again in the drawing- room?
33824	_ Q._ And can anything interesting be put in about the Houses of Parliament?
33824	_ Q._ And in what terms does a chairman respond to the toast of his own health?
33824	_ Q._ How are the visitors to be treated?
33824	_ Q._ Is there anything new to be said in the loyal toasts?
33824	_ Q._ What about the toast of the evening?
33824	_ Q._ What can be said about the united service?
33824	_ Q._ Why, do you not partake of the good cheer before you with the rest of your convives?
33824	_ Robinson._"Ah, but do n''t you recollect the way he told it after that supper I gave you fellows at Evans''in''fifty- one''?
33824	_ Stranger._"What are you celebrated for here?"
33824	_ The Family Greengrocer._"On the twenty- fourth, ma''am?
33824	_ Uncle._"Now then, what is it?
33824	_ Voice from the kitchen._"Did he?
33824	_ Waiter._''Ndeed, sir?
33824	and venison to follow, eh?"
33824	eh?
33824	eh?"
33824	is gusto then so great a sin, Is feeding man so terrible a sinner That such a worse than_ Duncan_-raising din Must summon him to-- dinner?
33824	waiter, what do you call this soup?
35874	Ah, I suppose you want something cheap an''ordinary for_ this_?
35874	But why do you call that the West- End?
35874	Could you use a little poem of mine?
35874	D''yer want to buy a diamond pin cheap?
35874	Did you see my picture safely delivered at the Royal Academy?
35874	Do you mean a club in Soho when you say West- End?
35874	Has he got a bill in his hand?
35874	Have you been to sit to Mr. Jones yet?
35874	How do you know there are such persons?
35874	How''s that?
35874	I say, is it true you were the only sober man last night?
35874	I say, you''re not going to sing an encore, are you?
35874	Mr._ George_ Jobson?
35874	Of the firm of Messrs. Jobson and Doodle?
35874	Only this]*****[ Illustration:_ Horse Dealer._"Did that little mare I sold you do for you, sir?"
35874	Shall I play to''clubs'', partner?
35874	Suppose, madam, we try a pose with just the_ least_ suggestion of-- er--_sauciness_?]
35874	Then you are growing rich, Horace?
35874	Uncle, what does 1, 3, 6, 8, after a man''s name, mean?
35874	Well, sir, what is it?
35874	What do you call that?
35874	What do you think of the picture? 35874 What is that?"
35874	What''s it made of?
35874	Where''s my cello?
35874	Who is it?
35874	Who''s that going out?
35874	Why are n''t you at work?
35874	Will yer want me ter tike my bun down?]
35874	Yes, aunt?
35874	Yes; he certainly_ is_ a beauty, is n''t he?]
35874	( Time 3 p.m.).--_Hospitable Host._"Have c''gar, old f''lla?"
35874	***** A NEEDLESS QUESTION.--"Do you want a loan?"
35874	***** FROM OUR OWN IRREPRESSIBLE ONE(_ still dodging custody_).--_Q._ Why is a daily paper like a lamb?
35874	***** RIDDLES BY A WRETCH.--_Q._ What is the difference between a surgeon and a wizard?
35874	***** THE ENRAGED MUSICIAN.--(_A Duologue._)_ Composer._ Did you stay late at Lady Tittup''s?
35874	***** THE UNITED EFFORT OF SIX ROYAL ACADEMICIANS.--What colour is it that contains several?
35874	***** When is an author most likely to be sick of his own writing?
35874	***** Why ought n''t a boot and shoemaker to be trusted?
35874	*****[ Illustration: A PROPHET IN HIS OWN COUNTRY_ Sylvia._"I wonder whether he''ll be a soldier or a sailor?"
35874	*****[ Illustration: AT THE ACADEMY_ Miss Jones._"How came you to think of the subject, Mr. de Brush?"
35874	*****[ Illustration: BROTHERS IN ART.--_New Arrival._"What should I charge for teaching ze pianoforte?"
35874	*****[ Illustration: HE KNEW HIS WORK_ Proprietor of Travelling Menagerie._"Are you used to looking after horses and other animals?"
35874	*****[ Illustration: IN THE CAUSE OF ART.--_Patron._"When are yer goin''to start my wife''s picture and mine?
35874	*****[ Illustration: IS THERE ROOM FOR MARY THERE?
35874	*****[ Illustration: TWO OLD MASTERS OF ARTS]***** ARTIST''S VADE MECUM_ Question._ Has the anxious parent been to see his child''s portrait?
35874	*****[ Illustration:_ Celebrated Minor Poet._"Ah, hostess, how''do?
35874	*****[ Illustration:_ Customer._--"Have you''How to be happy though married''?"
35874	*****[ Illustration:_ He._"Awfully jolly concert, was n''t it?
35874	*****[ Illustration:_ Jones._"Do you drink between meals?"
35874	*****[ Illustration:_ Jones._"How is it we see you so seldom at the club now?"
35874	*****[ Illustration:_ Scrumble._"Been to see the old masters?"
35874	*****[ Illustration:_ She._"And are all these lovely things about which you write imaginary?"
35874	*****_ Member of the Lyceum Club._ Have you read Tolstoi''s"Resurrection"?
35874	A juggins?"
35874	And have the other papers adopted it?"
35874	And may I ask what it was that first attracted you?"
35874	Anything else you''d like, dearie?"
35874	Are you much of a sportsman?"
35874	Be you a talkin''to Oi, zur?"]
35874	Bingles?"
35874	But you set that chap on the pivement alongside o''you an''me, to dror''arf a salmon an''a nempty''at, an''where''ud''e be?"
35874	But, you will say, supposing this ingenious device to fail?
35874	By the way, Monsieur le Marquis, have they introduced fencing into France yet?"]
35874	Ca n''t you fix it on the frame?"
35874	Can you stand by and see the children starve?
35874	Did you get my book I sent you yesterday?"
35874	Do n''t you keep books?"
35874	Do you know I am really a little_ frightened_ at the thought of meeting such a famous editor?
35874	Do you know who_ that_ is?
35874	Dost thou hold there still?"
35874	Eh?"]
35874	Ever dined at Dobbs''s?"
35874	H._"Ca n''t refuse a toothpick, then, old f''lla?"]
35874	H._"Cigarette then?"
35874	Hallo, old man, how are you?
35874	Have you read_ A Modern Heliogabolus_?
35874	How did you manage to get through it?
35874	How large is it?"]
35874	How soon do you expect them back?"]
35874	How?"
35874	I should like to know who you would consider a finished artist?"
35874	Is it not a fine Titian?"
35874	Is n''t it_ silly_ of me?
35874	Is that the name of Marie Corelli''s new book?
35874	Jobson?"
35874	O. T. M._"What steps would you take if a lion got loose?"
35874	Pictures?
35874	Supposing"Maria''s Marriage"to be universally"slated"?
35874	Tell me,_ who_ is your model?"
35874	That the best test of a picture is being able to live with it-- or live it down-- so why send it away from its most lenient critic?
35874	The principal question asked, upon insuring a man''s life, should be,"Do you sing a good song?"
35874	Thinking of art''s disasters, Still sinking to deeper abysses, I said,"From the Old Masters Why go to the new misses?"
35874	Was this your idea?"
35874	Well, why do n''t you tike it?"]
35874	What are the editors about, Whom one would think would edit out The shocking English and the style Which every page and line defile?
35874	What d''you take me for?
35874	What did the papers say?"
35874	What do I see?
35874	What do you want to see him for?"
35874	What do you want?"
35874	What does he collect?
35874	What is a"marine painter"?
35874	What is an"animal painter"?
35874	What offers, gentlemen?"]
35874	What tells you which word to use?"
35874	What word did you strike out?"
35874	What''s your latest composition?
35874	What?
35874	Where is it?"
35874	Who gave it her?"
35874	Wo n''t you buy one?"
35874	You play the flute, do n''t you?"
35874	[_ Exeunt severally._***** ART CLASS.--_Inspector._ What is a"landscape painter"?
35874	_ Amateur Flautist._"Are you sure the thing''s all right?"
35874	_ Bill Bashford._"Oh, is it?
35874	_ First Reveller._"Who was, then?"
35874	_ He._"A musician?
35874	_ Jones._"Which did you do last?"
35874	_ Mamma._"Would n''t you like him to be an artist, like papa?"
35874	_ Middlesex House, Park Lane, IV._ DEAR MR. SMITH,--Can you come and dine with us quite in a_ friendly_ way on Thursday at eight?
35874	_ Miss F._ All through?
35874	_ Q._ Are you well on with your Academy picture?
35874	_ Q._ Did he approve of it?
35874	_ Q._ Did he make any other suggestions?
35874	_ Q._ Have you secured the handsome model?
35874	_ Q._ How is it that a man born in Truro can never be an Irishman?
35874	_ Q._ Is he willing to pay anything extra for these additions?
35874	_ Q._ What are they?
35874	_ Q._ Why is America like the act of reflection?
35874	_ Q._ Why is my game cock like a bishop?
35874	_ Q._ Why is your pretty cousin like an alabaster vase?
35874	_ Second Painter._"Did she say anything about mine?"
35874	_ She._"_ Doorknob!_ Whom_ do_ you mean?
35874	_ Smith._ Raw day, eh?
35874	_ Wife._"What book is it?"
35874	did n''t it pay?!!"]
35874	how many pupils have you got?"
35874	she asked;"not feeling seedy, I hope?"
45980	Is not he as near akin to you as the other? 45980 Tartifle, what become of you last night?"''
45980	''Are you a full moon or Court balloon?
45980	''Come, take my sage of ancient use,''Cries learned Doctor Hill;''But what''s the sage without the goose?''
45980	''Did you expect anything else?''
45980	''Doctor: How is your patient to- day?''
45980	''Done?
45980	''Have you read the"Bath Guide,"that ridiculous poem?
45980	''How, how-- what, what?...
45980	''Is that all you can say?''
45980	''My dear Lady Riggledum, how is your throat?
45980	''What are you doing, sir, hey?''
45980	''What, no occasion for a Regent?
45980	''_ Not thine?_''the hasty monarch cry''d again--''What, what?
45980	''_ Not thine?_''the hasty monarch cry''d again--''What, what?
45980	( gaping)"I never go up-- up-- bless the man, why will he live so high?
45980	(?)
45980	1783(?).
45980	1783(?).
45980	1786(?).
45980	1786(?).
45980	1787(?).
45980	1787(?).
45980	1787(?).
45980	1788(?).
45980	1789(?).
45980	1789(?).
45980	1789(?).
45980	1790(?).
45980	1794(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	1799(?).
45980	267''Ghost of my Departed Husband, whither art thou gone?''
45980	271 Do you want any Brick- dust?
45980	274- 5 Who''s Mistress Now?
45980	368 Do n''t he Deserve it?
45980	6 Glee, A:''How shall we Mortals pass our Hours?
45980	73''Is this your Louse?''
45980	74 Who Killed Cock Robin?
45980	A. is also trumpeting forth,''What are children''s rights to ambition?
45980	Ah, sister, sister, must he, then, depart?
45980	Alderman?''
45980	And Roger, or, what is his name?
45980	And at cards all the night take the trouble to play, To get back the money they spent in the day?
45980	And from the palace be asham''d to range, For fear the world should think we had the mange?''
45980	And who is there that may not change his mind?
45980	Ay, eighteen years have I paid_ Scot_ and_ Lot_, and during the whole time nobody has said,"Mrs. North, why do you say so?"
45980	Be shav''d like foreign dogs, one daily meets, Naked and blue, and shiv''ring in the streets?
45980	British Liberty, or French Liberty?
45980	Do n''t they go about buying fine things all the morning?
45980	Do they spare for expenses themselves in adorning?
45980	Does n''t Solomon speak of such women with rapture, In verse the eleventh and thirty- first chapter?
45980	Does nobody know him?''
45980	Eat every filthy insect you can mention; Tarts made of grasshoppers, my own invention?
45980	Fox, who had kept his word and absented himself from the debates, is reduced to a tattered state, and enquires:''Where can I hide my secluded head?''
45980	Frogs, tadpoles by the spoonful, long- tail''d imps, And munch''d cockchaffers just like prawns or shrimps?
45980	From him the blood of Bruce flows in my veins; of such ancestry who would not be proud, and glad to seize a fair opportunity to let it be known?''
45980	In Love, in War, in Drinking?''
45980	Is not he much handsomer, and better built than that great chucklehead?
45980	Is the Regent come and all?''
45980	Letters from authors:_ Sir, do you ever mean to pay me for my Tragedy?
45980	Make haste and tell us all; say why are they thus mounted?
45980	Now to each trembling page, a poor mute mouse, The_ pious_ monarch cry''d,''Is this_ your louse_?''
45980	Now why should I mention a hundred or more, Who went the same circle as others before, To a tune that they play''d us a hundred times o''er?
45980	Now, pray, do n''t your wives do the very same thing, And follow th''advice of that worthy old king?
45980	On vilest reptiles rung the changes round?
45980	One hag, who is dropping_ Rebellion_ into the brew, is demanding,''Well, sister, what hast thou got for the ingredients of our charm''d pot?''
45980	Sixteen did I say?
45980	Snakes, spiders, beetles, chaffers, tadpoles, frogs, All swallow''d to display what man can do-- And must the villains still have something new?
45980	The Mind distemper''d-- say, what potent charm, Can Fancy''s spectre-- brooding rage disarm?
45980	The figure of_ Britannia_, with her staff and cap of Liberty, is well designed; she is crying,''Am I thus protected?''
45980	The next day gome de goachman:"Pray, sir, fon am I to ged the carriage ready?"
45980	They say that for gain I''ve a rogue been in grain But what is all that to the point?
45980	Unchristian, do you call it?
45980	Well, how fares it with our friend Roly?"
45980	What cheer father?
45980	What had Achilles been without his Homer?
45980	What is he at now?''
45980	What''s life,''the major said,''my brethren, pray, If force must snatch our first delights away?
45980	Where can you folks of that description find Who will not sell their souls for cash?
45980	Which is Best( British Liberty, French do.)?
45980	Which is best?
45980	Who the devil''s, then?''
45980	Who''s, who''s, then?
45980	Who, from Macdonald''s rage to save his snout, Cut twenty lines of defamation out?
45980	Who, mad''ning with an anecdotic itch, Hath said that Johnson called his mother, witch?
45980	Whose head, my cooks, such vile disgrace endures?
45980	Will it be yours, or yours, or yours, or yours?
45980	[ Illustration:''IS THIS YOUR LOUSE?'']
45980	_ After Dinner._ 1790(?).
45980	_ At Dinner._ 1790(?).
45980	_ Do n''t he Deserve it?_ Designed and etched by T. Rowlandson; aquatinted by I. Roberts.
45980	_ John Nichols._ With anger foaming and of vengeance full, Why belloweth John Nichols like a bull?
45980	_ May 16, 1791.__ The Volcano of Opposition._ Rowlandson(?).
45980	_ May 17, 1791.__ The Ghost of Mirabeau and Dr. Price Appearing to Old Loyola._ Rowlandson(?).
45980	_ Preparing for Supper._ 1790(?).
45980	_ Sunday._--''Doctor: How is your patient to- day?''
45980	_ The Start._ 1789(?).
45980	_ Waiting for Dinner._ 1790(?).
45980	_ Who_ told of Mrs. Montague the lie-- So palpable a falsehood?
45980	_ Who_ would have said a word about Sam''s wig; Or told the story of the_ peas_ and_ pig_?
45980	_ mon ami_, is it you?"
45980	ha''nt I swallow''d raw flesh like a hound?
45980	inquired the keeper, taking him gently by the ear;''why are you not at the_ cast_?
45980	look there!--what''s got into my house?
45980	more choice bits-- more graphic whimsies to add to the collection at Enfield, eh?
45980	not shave''em, shave''em, shave''em, shave''em?
45980	old Cecil Wray?''
45980	that Nelson wit one arm and eye can take our ships by dozens, then vat shall we do against the autres, wid two arms and eyes?
45980	the beauteous boast of Britain''s isle, Speak-- were those peerless lips forbid to smile?
45980	what cheer?
45980	what''s that, what''s that?''
45980	what, are you asleep?''
45980	what, what?
39707	''Hair cut, sir?
39707	And is the other all right?
39707	Are you still there, Billy? 39707 Dessay you''d rather''ave a gentleman settin''a- side of you?"
39707	Excuse me, mum, but do you believe in woman''s rights?
39707	Have you heard the news, my dear fellow?
39707	I say, guv''nor,''ang on to this''ere strap a minute, will yer, while I get a light?]
39707	In what vein?
39707	Is this right for Paddington?
39707	Was I with him?]
39707	Wot''s the matter with''i m, Willum? 39707 Ye----"_ Hairdresser._"Much off, sir?"
39707	Yes, sir, since they''re begun poisoning the beer, we_ must_ drink_ something_, must n''t we?]
39707	You mean about the position of the Bank of England? 39707 You surely do not wish to refuse me?"
39707	_ That_, Maria? 39707 ''Aven''t I told ye that three times already? 39707 ( after singeing)._Shampoo, sir?
39707	(_ Aside._)"She_ do n''t_ want_ much_, do she, mate?"]
39707	(_ To Old Gent._)"Where are yer for, sir?"
39707	***** A QUESTION FOR LLOYD''S.--Are sub- editors underwriters?
39707	***** POEM ON A PUBLIC- HOUSE Of this establishment how can we speak?
39707	***** POETRY AND FINANCE.--Among all the quotations in all the money market and City articles who ever met with a line of verse?
39707	***** SEASONABLE.--What sort of a bath would a resident of Cornhill probably prefer?
39707	***** SOLEMN JEST.--Where should postmen be buried?
39707	***** THE CAPITALISTS(_ A Story of Yesterday for To- morrow and To- day_)"What, Brown, my boy, is that you?"
39707	***** THE INFANT''S GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE CONCERNING CASH_ Question._ What is cash?
39707	***** THE PROMOTER''S VADE MECUM(_ Subject to Revision after the Vacation_)_ Question._ What is meant by the promotion of a company?
39707	***** WHAT intimate connection is there between the lungs of London and the lights of the metropolis?
39707	***** WHAT is the best thing to do in a hurry?
39707	***** WHY should a chimney- sweeper be a good whist player?
39707	*****[ Illustration: A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY_ Old Gentleman( returning from City festivity)._"Pleashm''n, where''sh M''sht''r Brown live?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: A NEGLECTED INDUSTRY"''Ow are yer gettin''on, Bill?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: A QUALIFIED GUIDE.--_Befogged Pedestrian._"Could you direct me to the river, please?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: A SENSITIVE PLANT.--"What, back in town already, old chappie?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: A SKETCH IN REGENT STREET.--Puzzle-- On which side are the shop windows?]
39707	*****[ Illustration: CONVENIENT.--_Lodger( who has been dining)._"D''you have any''bjecks''n t''my''shcaping up into my rooms shec''nd floor?
39707	*****[ Illustration: FRIGHTFUL LEVITY.--_Bus- Driver._"Hullo, gov''nour; got any room?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: HYDE PARK, MAY 1_ Country Cousin._"What is the meaning of this, policeman?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: MELTING MOMENTS(_ Temperature 95Â ° in the Shade._)_ Friend._"How does this weather suit you, old chap?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: PROOF POSITIVE_ Old Lady._"Do they sell good''sperrits''at this''ouse, mister?"
39707	*****[ Illustration: UNCONSCIONABLE_ Head of the Firm._"Want a holiday!?
39707	*****[ Illustration:"''Ad any breakfus''''s mornin''?"
39707	*****[ Illustration:"Shave, or hair cut, sir?"
39707	*****[ Illustration:_ Country Cousin._"Do you stop at the Cecil?"
39707	*****[ Illustration:_ Indignant Cabby._"Shockin''bad''orse,''ave I?
39707	*****[ Illustration:_ Inquisitive Guardian._"By the way, have you any children?"
39707	*****[ Illustration:_ Irate Bus Driver._"You would n''t do that for me, would yer?"]
39707	*****_ Q._ WHAT is the best sort of cigar to smoke in a hansom?
39707	--What o''clock is it?
39707	12?"
39707	A._"May I give you a friction?"
39707	A._"Your moustaches curled?"
39707	And the other?"
39707	And wot''s this hextra tuppence for?--to buy a new''un with, eh?"]
39707	Anything in the papers?
39707	Are you prepared to go the whole hog or none?
39707	B. C. girl is going to serve us?
39707	Bu''--where do I live?"!]
39707	But what I mean is, should we not know for what purpose we are going to expend the half million?
39707	Can he run anyone in, and make them move on if found loitering on his beat?
39707	Can they make a sweep clean?
39707	Caretakin''?"
39707	Carn''t yer look out wher''yer a- comin''?"
39707	Did n''t you see me''old up my''and?"
39707	Do you know anything whatever about the business it is proposed you should superintend?
39707	Do you think this was the constable in question?
39707	Eh, gentlemen?
39707	Five pound shares, eh?
39707	Fresh mornin'', ai n''t it?"
39707	G._ Why do you put them on, coachman?
39707	Griddleton._ What are those square things, coachman, you put over the poor horse''s eyes?
39707	He was asked why?
39707	I should recommend our wash."_ Customer._"May I ask if that invigorating liquid is what_ you_ have been in the habit of using?"
39707	I suppose we may put down the capital at fifty thousand?
39707	If yer do n''t believe it''s gold,_ jump on it_?"]
39707	Is England exclusively devoted to Bacchus, and is temperance a heresy?
39707	Is he a special?
39707	Is he dressed like other constables?
39707	Is he not thinking of our old acquaintance, the do- do?
39707	Is his beat all round the Tower?
39707	Is it hurt?"
39707	Is not my fortune ample too?
39707	Is there anything else anyone can suggest?
39707	Must I not, therefore, be possessed, To feel that dread, of devils blue?
39707	Qui est cet homme- là  ?"
39707	Shall I write"Company"with a big C?
39707	Thash allri, but wersh my_ feet?_"]*****[ Illustration:_ Employer_(_ who simply_ WON''T_ take any excuse for unpunctuality_).
39707	The"love of the turtle?"
39707	The_ tapis_ alluded to is, of course, Gob''lin?
39707	Then the same solicitors as our last?
39707	This is your''ouse-- get out-- be careful, sir--''ere''s the step?"
39707	Time: Five o''clock.__ Friend._ Any news?
39707	What are you waiting about here for?"
39707	What is his number?
39707	What, refuse these beautiful grouse?
39707	Who would look at a paltry fifty?
39707	Why am I doin''this?
39707	Why did you call that man at the bar"the Microbe"?
39707	Wilt thou not be with riches blest?
39707	Wot are yer doin''''ere?
39707	[_ Dead silence._]*****[ Illustration: FOGGY WEATHER.--"Has Mr. Smith been here?"
39707	[_ He''ll give them a little notice next time._]*****[ Illustration:_ First Workman._"Wot''s it say, Bill, on that old sun- dial?"
39707	[_ Tableau._]*****[ Illustration:_ Gilded Johnny._"How long will it take your bally cab to get to Victoria?"
39707	_ Blondin?_"]*****[ Illustration: SKETCHED IN OXFORD STREET]***** INSCRIPTION TO BE PLACED OVER THE STOCK EXCHANGE.--"_Bear_ and for-_bear_."
39707	_ Bus- Driver._"What''s yer fare?"
39707	_ Employer._"Who was she?"
39707	_ Fourth Mem._ Ought n''t we to have some object in view?
39707	_ Freddy._"And do they have a new Lord Mayor every year, mummie?"
39707	_ Freddy._"Then what do they do with the old Lord Mayors when they''ve done with''em?"]
39707	_ Great Smith Street._--Which of the Smiths is this?
39707	_ Guardian._"But-- er-- surely I know a son of yours?"
39707	_ Hairdresser._"Have you tried our tonic lotion?"
39707	_ Idol Lane._--Where are the Missionaries?
39707	_ Johnny._"Ah!--how much have you got?"]
39707	_ Love Lane._--What sort of love?
39707	_ Man with tools._"''Ow''s that?"
39707	_ Manager._"How much do you require?"
39707	_ Other dittos._ Hey?
39707	_ Promoter._ And I think, before taking up finance, you have devoted a long life to the service of your country?
39707	_ Promoter._ And no doubt you are the soul of honour?
39707	_ Promoter._ And there is no particular reason why you should dabble in Stock Exchange matters?
39707	_ Q._ And what does promotion do for the promoter?
39707	_ Q._ But the destination of the cash scarcely affects the promoter?
39707	_ Q._ Can a banking account be put to any particular service in the promotion of a company?
39707	_ Q._ Can it obtain the good- will of the Press?
39707	_ Q._ Can money be obtained in any other way?
39707	_ Q._ Can you give me an instance of credit?
39707	_ Q._ Can you give me your impression of the theory of bimetallism?
39707	_ Q._ Can you tell me what is credit?
39707	_ Q._ How are these suggestions obtained?
39707	_ Q._ How is this end accomplished?
39707	_ Q._ How much of his profits does he sometimes have to disgorge?
39707	_ Q._ Is it not sometimes called"the root of all evil"?
39707	_ Q._ Is it possible to live without cash?
39707	_ Q._ Of what does a prospectus consist?
39707	_ Q._ Of what is a front page composed?
39707	_ Q._ What is bimetallism?
39707	_ Q._ What is the best way of securing gold?
39707	_ Q._ What is the modern way of securing funds, on the same principles, but with smaller risk?
39707	_ Q._ Why do you say"temporary"?
39707	_ Q._ Would it be right to describe such a transaction as"much to his credit"?
39707	_ Q._ You mean, then, that this prosperity is like the companies promoted,"limited"?
39707	_ Robinson._"Well, old chap, how did you sleep last night?"
39707	_ Slightly Sober Individual._"_ Pavement!_ Who do you take me for?
39707	_''Ave_ yer got such a thing as a bit o''bread about yer, me lord?"]
39707	eh?
39707	one of the_ force de tour_, empowered to use a_ tour de force_?
39707	what?
39707	when shall I return to thee?
39707	why, my friend, is a joint stock Concern like, yet unlike, a clock?
29022	''_ Osses?_ d''ye say. 29022 ''_ Osses?_"cried the coachman, turning round upon Mr. Pickwick, with sharp suspicion in his eye.
29022	And do you always take your cycles with you when you go for a walk?
29022	Are y- you k- keen on r- riding home?
29022	Ave a tow up, miss?
29022	But vot sort of a vheel do you call that thing in front of you, and vot''s its pertikler objeck? 29022 Did you see the number?"
29022	Er-- and have you driven much?
29022	Have you such a thing as a pump?
29022	How dare you call yourself a chauffeur?
29022	I''m all right,answered the other;"what makes you think I''ve been ill?"
29022	Is it easy to pull?
29022	Round,said he,"how are you?"
29022	Votever shall I do vith it, Sammy?
29022	Well, what''s the matter? 29022 What do you mean, boy?"
29022	What luck? 29022 What''s an autocrat, Mabel?"
29022	When are they-- eh-- going to-- ahem-- put the horses to?
29022	Where am I?--Oh, in hospital-- oh, really?--Seems nice clean sort of place.--How long----? 29022 Who should attack us when''tis common talk that you pawned your diamonds a month ago?
29022	Why ask me to come?
29022	Why do n''t you go where you''re looking?
29022	Why the dickens do n''t you look where you''re going?
29022	Would you mind openin''the gate, miss? 29022 You did n''t see the number, but could you swear to the man?"
29022	( in the_ rôle_ of a labourer behind a hedge on the Brighton road):"''Oo are you a- gettin''at?
29022	*** Illustration: TO DO IT_ First Villager._"What''s up, Bill?"
29022	***** Are there motor- cars in the celestial regions?
29022	***** CYCLING CONUNDRUM.--_Q._ What article of the cyclist girl''s attire do a couple of careless barbers recall to mind?
29022	***** IN EAST DORSETSHIRE.--_Cyclist( to Native)._ How many miles am I from Wimborne?
29022	***** Illustration: ADDING INSULT TO INJURY_ Cyclist_(_ to Foxhunter, thrown out_),"Oi say, Squoire,''ave you seen the''ounds?"
29022	***** Illustration: AN ACCOMMODATING PARTY.--_Lady Driver._"Can you show us the way to Great Missenden, please?"
29022	***** Illustration: BREAKING IT GENTLY.--_ Passer- by._"Is that your pork down there on the road, guv''nor?"
29022	***** Illustration: EXCLUSIVE.--_ Fair Driver._"Will you stand by the pony for a few minutes, my good man?"
29022	***** Illustration: IN DORSETSHIRE_ Fair Cyclist._"Is this the way to Wareham, please?"
29022	***** Illustration: QUITE A LITTLE HOLIDAY_ Cottager._"What''s wrong, Biker?
29022	***** Illustration: QUITE RESPECTFUL_ Fair Cyclist._"Is that the incumbent of this parish?"
29022	***** Illustration: SORROWS OF A"CHAUFFEUR"_ Ancient Dame._"What d''ye say?
29022	***** Illustration: SOUR GRAPES_ First Scorcher._"Call_ that_ exercise?"
29022	***** Illustration: THE FREEMASONRY OF THE WHEEL.--"Rippin''wevver fer hus ciciklin''chaps, ai n''t it?"
29022	***** Illustration: THE?
29022	***** Illustration: WHATS IN A NAME?
29022	***** Illustration:"Did you get his number?"
29022	***** Illustration:"Have you ever tried riding without the handles?
29022	***** Illustration:"Oh, did you see a gentleman on a bicycle as you came up?"
29022	***** Illustration:"Would n''t yer like ter''ave one o''them things, Liza Ann?"
29022	***** Illustration:_ Cyclist._"Why ca n''t you look where you''re going?"
29022	***** Illustration:_ Friend._"Going about thirty, are we?
29022	***** Illustration:_ Motor Fiend._"Why do n''t you get out of the way?"
29022	***** MOTOR QUESTIONS What rushes through the crowded street With whirring noise and throbbing beat, Exhaling odours far from sweet?
29022	***** OVERHEARD AT A MOTOR MEETING.--_ Inquirer._"I wonder what they call those large, long cars?"
29022	***** SHOULD MOTORISTS WEAR MASKS?
29022	***** THE PERFECT AUTOMOBILIST[_ With acknowledgments to the Editor of"The Car"_] Who is the happy road- deer?
29022	*****"Motor cycle for sale, 2- 3/4 h.-p., equal to 3- 1/4 h.-p."_--Provincial Paper._ Discount of 1/2 h.-p. for cash?
29022	*****_ He._"Do you belong to the Psychical Society?"
29022	*****_ Q._ Why is the lady bikist of an amorous disposition?
29022	--_ Obliging Motorist._"Shall I stop the engine?"
29022	Ah-- by the way, do you know anyone who wants to buy a motor----?
29022	Aix in sight?
29022	And what about me, gentlemen?
29022	And what----?
29022	But do n''t you run some risk of being pulled up for exceeding the legal pace?"
29022	But why abuse the canon first?
29022	Ca n''t I look where I''m going?
29022	Confound him, ca n''t he be more careful?
29022	D''yer want any help?"
29022	Did n''t yer see the notice- board at the gate, sayin''''No thoroughfare''?"
29022	Do n''t you see my horse is running away?"
29022	Do you see any mote in my eye?
29022	Eh?
29022	Exceeding the legal limit?
29022	Have I any right of way?
29022	Have you had a fever?"
29022	Have you had a spill?"
29022	Have you?"
29022	Help?
29022	How can I strike the Harrow road?"
29022	How would a steam roller suit her?
29022	I said to him, what have_ you_ got to do with the''record''?"
29022	If people_ will_ use their gullets as garages, what can they expect?
29022	Is there none innocent?
29022	Killed anything?"
29022	Mr. JEM SMITH, cabdriver, in the course of an interview, said:"Masks?
29022	My dear fellow, what is the matter with you?
29022	Now what, may I ask, do_ you_ use?
29022	Nowadays, bicycles being"always with us,"why not for"Turnpike Roads"substitute"Turn- bike roads"?
29022	OF THE DAY.--Should there be a speed( and dust) limit?
29022	Oh, been here about six weeks-- have I, really?
29022	Oh, who are you a- gettin''at?"
29022	Oh,_ both_ arms, you say?--and left leg?
29022	P.S.--What do you charge for rebuilding a cycle?
29022	P.S.--Would such an arrangement make us"carriages"in the eye of the law?
29022	Pickwick?"
29022	Run over an old woman?
29022	Silly fellow, does he think I can stop at this pace?
29022	Suppose we should be attacked?"
29022	The scufflers In soft, silent shoes, turn Red Injins?
29022	These''ints about lassos and butterfly nets?
29022	They call he a''shuvver,''do they?
29022	This way, conducts she straight to Hele?"
29022	To my soft consolation scant heed did he pay, But with taps was continually juggling, And his words,"Will you keep your dress further away?"
29022	Want a machine, sir?
29022	We can not all resemble_ Caliban_, but why should not the motorist aspire in that direction?
29022	What d''ye mean?
29022	What do they know of Sussex who only Burwash know?"
29022	What is it?"
29022	What is to be done?
29022	What kind?"
29022	What on earth has happened to you all?"
29022	What right has he here?
29022	What''s that he says?
29022	What''s that?
29022	What''s that?
29022	What''s wrong?
29022	What_ are_ they there for?"
29022	Where could you have a more salient and striking example of pushfulness and determination to"get there"over all obstacles?
29022	Who as the car goes whizzing past At such law- breaking stands aghast,( For forty miles an hour_ is_ fast)?
29022	Who flies before the oily gust Wafted his way through whirling dust, And hopes the beastly thing will bust?
29022	Who hears the case with bland surprise, And over human frailty sighs, The while he reads between the lies?
29022	Who is he That every motorist should want to be?
29022	Who thinks that it is scarcely fair To have to pay for road repair While sudden death lies lurking there?
29022	Whose wheels o''er greasy asphalte skim, Exacting toll of life and limb,( What is a corpse or so to_ him_)?
29022	Why, what on earth are you doing?"
29022	Winkle''s_ dialogue with_ Sam Weller_ when he attempted skating?
29022	Wonder if wiser to start full speed or begin gently?
29022	Wot are these fine capers perposed by the papers?
29022	_ Conductor._"''Arrer road?
29022	_ Cyclist( angrily)._ Then what do you know?
29022	_ Cyclist._ Am I near Blandford?
29022	_ Do_ we look as if we would do such a thing?"
29022	_ Motorist._"Do n''t you think you''d better warn the other chap?"
29022	_ The Good Man._"Pony, mum?
29022	_ The Owner._"L- let''s l- leave it a- and_ walk_, s- shall we?"
29022	_ Victim._"_ What!_ Are you coming back?"
29022	_ Well- informed Friend._"Those?
29022	_''Ow about my paint?_"***** Illustration: NOTE TO THE SUPERSTITIOUS It is considered lucky for a black cat to cross your path.
29022	a top of a coach instead o''under it?"
29022	exclaimed Round,"you do n''t mean to say I''ve been putting on more flesh?
29022	what was that?"
42400	Does it, dear? 42400 Has he?
42400	Oh, Edwin, how_ do_ you think of such beautiful things?]
42400	Oh, pa dear, what did Geo---- what did young Mr. Brown want?
42400	Rejected you, did she? 42400 Well, mum, I had three good characters with her?"]
42400	Why do you wear a pink blouse, dear? 42400 Why not_ give them all up_, dear?"]
42400	Why,_ can_ he sing?
42400	You look very melancholy, George; are you sorry you married me?
42400	_ My''eart!_]***** MARRIAGE MEMORIES_ What the Father says._--Which side must I stand on when I give her away?
42400	(_ After a pause._)"Did she refuse you too?"]
42400	(_ Pointing to his olive branches in the background._)"Them''s ruin enough for me?"]
42400	***** A BAD PRE- EMINENCE.--What is there beats a good wife?
42400	***** A HAPPY HOLIDAY.--_The Bachelor._"So you''re looking after the house while your wife is taking a holiday?
42400	***** ACCOUNTED FOR AT LAST.--Is it not strange that the"best man"at a wedding is not the bridegroom?
42400	***** HOW TO CURE AN IMPRUDENT ATTACHMENT.--_Materfamilias._"What_ is_ to be done, my dear?
42400	***** HOW TO FIX THE HAPPY DAY.--_Q._ When''s the best day for a wedding?
42400	***** OUR VILLAGE INDUSTRIAL COMPETITION.--_Husband( just home from the City)._"My angel!--crying!--whatever''s the matter?"
42400	***** SCIENTIFIC ACCURACY.--"But_ why_ do you want to marry her?"
42400	***** SHE"JESTS AT SCARS,"ETC.--_Aunt._"And how''s Louisa, my dear?
42400	***** SIMPLE.--_Q._ When is a man tied to time?
42400	***** THE DESIRE OF PLEASING.--"May I be married, ma?"
42400	***** THE LUXURY OF LIBERTY.--_Bosom Friend._"Well, dear, now that you are a widow, tell me are you any the happier for it?"
42400	***** THE OLDEST AND THE SHORTEST DRAMA IN THE WORLD.--_He._"Will you?"
42400	***** THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.--"Well, but if you ca n''t bear her, whatever made you propose?"
42400	*****"SO SELFISH?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: APPEARANCES ARE DECEPTIVE_ He._"Who''s that?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: BREAKING THE NEWS_ Newly Affianced One._"May I be your new mamma, Tommy?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: CAUTION_ Married Sister._"And of course, Laura, you will go to Rome or Florence for your honeymoon?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: COLD SYMPATHY_ Friend._"Hullo, old man, what''s the matter?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: DECIDEDLY PLEASANT_ Genial Youth._"I say, Gubby, old chap, is this really true about your going to marry my sister Edie?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: DIFFERENT ASPECTS_ She._"Is n''t it a pretty view?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: EVIDENCE OF AN EYE- WITNESS_ Guest._"Why do you believe in second sight, Major?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: HE HAD BEEN KICKED OUT ONCE_ She._"Wot time be you a- coming round to- night, Jock?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: INGRATITUDE_ Brown._"Why does n''t Walker stop to speak?
42400	*****[ Illustration: OLD FRIENDS_ He._"Do you remember your old school- friend Sophy Smythe?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER_ She._"But if you say you ca n''t bear the girl, why_ ever_ did you propose?"
42400	*****[ Illustration: THE DIVORCE SHOP_ Private Inquiry Agent._"Want a divorce, sir?
42400	*****[ Illustration: Time--3 A.M.]_ Voice from above._"Is that you, John?
42400	*****[ Illustration:"Can I go abroad to finish, ma?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:"DECEIVERS EVER"_ Goldsmith._"Would you like any name or motto engraved on it, sir?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:"FOR THE THIRD TIME OF ASKING"_ Aunt Mary._"You heard the vicar publish the banns between Uncle George and Ellen Thompson?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:"FOR THIS RELIEF----?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:"IS IT A FAILURE?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:"Was he very much cast down after he''d spoken to papa?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:"_ Are_ you comin''''ome?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:_ Brown._"I say, old man, who''s that very plain elderly lady you were walking with-- now sitting here?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:_ Ethel._"Why, what''s the matter, Gertrude?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:_ First Young Wife._"Do you find it more economical, dear, to do your own cooking?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:_ He._"How would you like to own a-- er-- a little puppy?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:_ She._"But, George, suppose papa settles my dowry on me in my own right?"
42400	*****[ Illustration:_''Liza._"Wot''s it feel like, bein''in love, Kytie?"
42400	--_Husband._"I say, Lizzie, what on earth did you make this mint- sauce of?"
42400	AMELIA.--Have you not been rather indiscreet?
42400	And have you given up your occupation of washing?"
42400	And is it_ invariably_ the case, my love?"]
42400	And what has he for sale?
42400	And you will do what I ask?
42400	Are n''t you pleased?"
42400	Brookes?"
42400	But why do you ask?"
42400	But_ this_ kind of shop?
42400	Can you cut your old friends?
42400	Can you do what you are told without being told why?
42400	Can you keep your temper when you are not listened to?
42400	Can you maintain your serenity during a washing- day?
42400	Can you stand being contradicted in the face of all reason?
42400	Can you wait any given time for breakfast?
42400	Do n''t you remember that Spring?
42400	Do you know which is more economical, the aitch- bone, or the round?
42400	Do you know, my dear, I had an onion yesterday for the first time these fourteen years?"
42400	Do you like the_ menu_?
42400	Do you see what I have written instead of_"Sweetheart"_?
42400	Do you think I''m as big a fool as I look?"
42400	Find?
42400	Has nowt fur to say?"
42400	Have me, dear?
42400	He should be further examined thus:-- Can you read or write amid the yells of a nursery?
42400	He''s never here now?"
42400	How far, young man, will a leg of mutton go in a small family?
42400	How is that?"
42400	How much a year?
42400	How much dearer, now, is silver than Britannia?
42400	I always thought he was a woman- hater?"
42400	I hope it''s nothing serious?"
42400	I hope she''s enjoying the change?"
42400	I thought you cared for nobody but me?"
42400	I will not ask if thou canst touch The tuneful ivory key?
42400	If you could have mine it would be all right, would n''t it?"
42400	In a word, young sir, have you the patience of Job?
42400	Is Marriage a Failure?
42400	Jones?"
42400	Jones?"
42400	Jones?"]
42400	Long?"
42400	Now why on earth should you be glad?"
42400	Oh, what o''that?
42400	Please, what is it for?"
42400	Relations?
42400	THEIR CONVERSATION_ He._"And what would_ dovey_ do, if lovey were to_ die_?"
42400	The skunk_ not_ indigenous, sirs, to our Isle?
42400	This problem, which my mind absorbs, A veritable Gordian knot is: How can maids swallow with their orbs?
42400	Well,_ then_ I measured the scullery: six feet by ten... that''ll just do, wo n''t it?"]
42400	What became of her?"
42400	What does your mother say about it?"
42400	What good resolutions are you going to make?"
42400	What on earth did he marry her for?"
42400	What will you say to your wife?"
42400	Where is my husband got to?
42400	Where is she?"
42400	Where shall we go for our wedding trip?--Strasbourg, Turkey, Cayenne, Westphalia, Worcestershire?
42400	Where will this end?
42400	Where''s the protecting epiglottis?
42400	Why_ do n''t_ you come to bed?"
42400	Will you kindly forward the letter in question by return, when I will send you a full receipt?
42400	You''re very late, are n''t you?"
42400	You_ sang_ to him, I suppose?"
42400	Yours faithfully, BLITHERS, BLATHERS, BLOTHERS& Co.***** STRANGE BUT TRUE.--When does a husband find his wife out?
42400	_ Angelina._"Yes, darling?"
42400	_ Aunt Betsy._"And that nice fellow, Goodenough?
42400	_ Aunt_-icipations,-- Like_ x_ in equations-- Unknown quantity?
42400	_ B._"Who''s the lucky man?"
42400	_ Daughter of the House._"But-- why-- who are all those for, then?"
42400	_ Eldest Daughter._ Is it really true, mother, that people used to receive pictures just as we do Christmas cards?
42400	_ Enter servant with a solitary letter.__ Chorus._ What is it?
42400	_ Enter servant with heaps of letters, which are eagerly seized and distributed.__ Chorus._ What are they?
42400	_ Gilded Youth._"What do you mean?"
42400	_ He._"What mun aw say?
42400	_ Her Mother._"What makes you think so, dear?"
42400	_ Jock._"What time does y''r old man put''is slippers on?"]
42400	_ Jones._"Did you ever see a volcano in course of eruption?"
42400	_ Maud._"Did he?
42400	_ Seventeen._"_ Is_ marriage a failure?
42400	_ What the Clergyman says._--Have you got the ring?
42400	_ What_''ave I stole?"
42400	_ Young Wife._"Oh, I do n''t mind that, because there''s a telephone there, and I can talk to you through it, ca n''t I?"
42400	_ Young Wife._"Where are you going, Reggie dear?"
42400	exclaimed the astonished matron,"what put such an idea into your head?"
48245	Do ye buy rags and bones here?
48245	Faith, an''is n''t that the way Oi get my livin''?]
48245	Haw, haw, pray will you direct me the shortest way to Baggot Street, haw?
48245	Is it batin''?
48245	Is it praties, ye mane?
48245	Is it throuts? 48245 Long life to yer honour, sure, and did n''t I?"
48245	So, Rory,ses he,"''tis a vote ye''ve got now?"
48245	What business had you to be listening about? 48245 _"Did ye see the cock- fightin''at Pat Daly''s lasst night?"
48245	_Did ye see the''boys''''suffer- r,''this mornin''?"
48245	_Why were you late in barracks last night, Private Atkins?"
48245	''_"***** A BROAD HINT.--_English Traveller( to Irish Railway Porter labelling luggage)._"Do n''t you keep a brush for that work, porter?"
48245	)_"Waiter, what''s this?
48245	***** CONFESSION IN CONFUSION.--_Priest._"Now, tell me, Doolan, truthfully, how often_ do_ you go to chapel?"
48245	***** GEOGRAPHICAL CATECHISM.--_Q._ What do we now call the Isle of Patmos?
48245	***** REFRESHMENT FOR MAN AND BEAST.--_Traveller in Ireland( who has been into a shebeen)._"But are you not going to bait the horse?"
48245	***** THE SAXON OPPRESSOR.--_Saxon Tourist._"I suppose the English buy all the pigs that you wish to sell?"
48245	***** WHO were the original bogtrotters?
48245	*****"LUCUS A NON,"& c.--_Visitor._"How long has your master been away?"
48245	*****[ Illustration: AN EVENING''S FISHING( BEHIND THE DISTILLERY AT SLIGO).--_First Factory Lad._"Dom''nick, did ya get e''er a bite at all?"
48245	*****[ Illustration: ECONOMY.--_Pat._"And ye say, if I take this one, I''ll save ha''f the fuul?
48245	*****[ Illustration: FROM ERIN_ Restaurant Waiter._"Bill, sorr?
48245	*****[ Illustration:_ Irate Station- master._"What the divil are ye waitin''for?"
48245	*****[ Illustration:_ Lady( looking at new cob)._"How does he go, Patrick?"
48245	*****[ Illustration:_ Tourist( who has just given Pat a drink from his flask)._"That''s a drop of good whiskey-- eh, Pat?"
48245	*****[ Illustration:_ Tourist._"Have you not got Scotch whiskey?"
48245	*****_ Zoological Specialist( gazing at solitary sea- lion in the Dublin Zoo)._ Where''s his mate?
48245	--_First Gent( Celt)._"Ye met''m at me brother''s, the mimber, I think?"
48245	--_Irish Waiter._"An''will yer''anner have an inside kyar or an outside kyar?"
48245	--_Pat( after a sip)._"An''which did ye put in first-- the whisky or the wather?"
48245	--_Pat._"What d''ye think of the Home Rule Bill, Murphy?"
48245	--_Saxon Tourist( at Irish Railway Station)._"What time does the half- past eleven train start, Paddy?"
48245	--_Squire._"Why, Pat, what are you doing, standing by the wall of the public- house?
48245	--_Traveller( they had already walked a mile from the station)._"Hi, I say, porter, do you call this''no way at all?''
48245	An''how are ye goin''to use it?"
48245	And where''s the_ shtablin''_?"]
48245	Annything----"_ Commercial Gent._"No, that will do----"_ Waiter( with calm contempt)._"And do ye expict to foind the loikes o''them things here?
48245	Arrah, what will I do?"
48245	But they''re asy kep''wet, your honour?"
48245	Can I draw it out quick if I want it?"
48245	Do n''t you see the mare is running away?"
48245	Do you think she''ll be up to the work?"
48245	Fair Day__ Porter._"An what the divil are ye doin'', tying that donkey up there?"
48245	Give it away, sorr?--Me vote, sorr?"
48245	Had n''t your honour better move a little further from the foire?"
48245	How can a jintleman dance--(_hic!_)--iv ye do n''t kape thime?"!!
48245	I have n''t got a licence----"_ Native._"Is it a licence ye want to kill a fish?
48245	I mane him wot had the lot o''good character papers, an''me that niver had a blissid wan?"
48245	Inspector._"What''s the meanin''of this, Pat?
48245	Is he sick?"
48245	Is it Moriarty that''s insulted ye?"
48245	Is the petition gone to the masther yet?
48245	MR. PUNCH, SIRR,--Why would n''t you"fix"Irish_ tinants_?
48245	Malone._"Why, Pat, what''s that ye''ve got?
48245	May n''t Oi see me frind aff b''the thrain, sorr?"]
48245	Molony._"And is it capital?
48245	Moriarty._"Look here, Ada, how much longer, for goodness sake, are ye goin''to be dressin''yourself?"
48245	Murphy._"Ah, thin, why would n''t she?
48245	Oi cries"D''ye think that Oi''ve waited ontil Oi am gray, An''now Oi''m jist goin''to give it away?"
48245	Out, is she?
48245	Pat Murphy._"Mix is it?
48245	Piggy dear, an''did ye hear The thraitors what they say?
48245	Says the Priest,"Why not bate her?"
48245	Sure, and did n''t I bate him enough coming along?"
48245	Sure, is n''t she used to the ways at home?"]
48245	Sure, is n''t that the very wan he''s restin''now against the time he''ll be wantin''ut?"]
48245	Sure, what is the matther?"
48245	Was it betther he thought he could use it than Oi?
48245	We hope the egg- traders wo n''t be"taken up,"too; if so, the trade would be arrested just when it was starting, and where would the profit be then?
48245	Were there many there?"
48245	Wha''d ye mean!?"
48245	Wha''for?
48245	What is it makes the ship go along?"
48245	What is ut now, is ut a''_ tableau v[e]evant_''ye''re playin''at, or what?"
48245	What the deuce are you doing to the old mare?"
48245	What''ll Oi do?
48245	What''ll ye have, yer honour-- tay or coffee?"
48245	What''s the meaning of this?"
48245	When do you bait him?"
48245	Where did you get the hare?"
48245	Who will now say that the old humour is dying out in Erin?
48245	Whoy the div''l did n''t he say which Oi was to mix furrst?"]
48245	Would you please to leave your name?"
48245	[ Illustration: A GOOD LISTENER.--_Reverend Gentleman._"Well, Tim, did you leave the letter at the squire''s?"
48245	[ Illustration: A MISUNDERSTANDING.--_His Master._"Did you take those boots of mine to be soled, Larry?"
48245	[ Illustration: A REGULAR TURK.--_Adjutant._"Well, sergeant, how''s your prisoner getting on?"
48245	[ Illustration: A SAFE WIN(?)
48245	[ Illustration: AFTER A SHOOT IN COUNTY CLARE_ Master._"Well, Paddy, what sort of a bag?"
48245	[ Illustration: ANOTHER IRISH OBSTRUCTION_ Colonel O''Funk._"I say, my man, what''s on the other side of that rail?"
48245	[ Illustration: Colleen with shovel and Priest] D''ye see them black diamonds?
48245	[ Illustration: DECIMALS ON DECK_ Irish Mate._"How manny iv ye down ther- re?!"
48245	[ Illustration: EXPENDED.--_Guest._"Will you give me a little champagne?"
48245	[ Illustration: GRANDILOQUENCE.--_Captain of schooner._"What''a''you got there, Pat?"
48245	[ Illustration: HIBERNIAN VERACITY.--_Paterfamilias( with his family in Ireland)._"Have you any West India pickles waiter?"
48245	[ Illustration: INS AND OUTS_ Irish Innkeeper( to"Boots,"& c.)._"H''where''s Biddee?
48245	[ Illustration: IRISH ARCHITECTURE.--_Angler( in Ireland)._"Hullo, Pat, what are you about now?"
48245	[ Illustration: IRISH INGENUITY.--_Saxon Tourist._"What on earth are you lowering the shafts for?"
48245	[ Illustration: LEVELLING UP.--_Subaltern( just arrived by rail)._"How much to the barracks?"
48245	[ Illustration: Pat with donkey cart talking to the Widdy]*****[ Illustration: INDUCTIVE.--_Officer._"How''s this, Murphy?
48245	[ Illustration: RATHER TOO LITERAL.--_Country Gentleman( in a rage)._"Why, what have you been up to, you idiot?
48245	[ Illustration: REMINISCENCES OF HEDGE- FIRING_ Itinerant Photographer( from under the cloth)._"Will you keep quiet?
48245	[ Illustration: SCENE--_Cottage in West of Ireland during a rainstorm.__ Tourist._"Why do n''t you mend those big holes in the roof?"
48245	[ Illustration: SEASONED.--_Lady Tourist._"Are the sheets well aired?"
48245	[ Illustration: SUNDAY AT THE ZOO.--"Excuse me, sorr; but can ye direct me to the goin''out intrance?"]
48245	[ Illustration: SUPEREROGATION.--_Humanitarian._"Could n''t you manage to put a little more flesh on your poor horses''bones?
48245	[ Illustration: THE VERDICT.--_First Irishman( waiting in the corridor-- to his friend, rushing in from the Court)._"What''s Tim got?"
48245	[ Illustration: TRUSTWORTHY AUTHORITY_ Host._"Michael, did n''t I tell you to decant the best claret?"
48245	[ Illustration:"IRISH"_ Polite Young Man._"Perhaps you feel a draught, madam?"
48245	[ Illustration:"IT IS SOMETIMES DANGEROUS TO INQUIRE"_ Old Poet__ Inquisitive Tourist._"And how do you find the crops this year, Murphy?"
48245	[ Illustration:"So this is your native place, Pat?"
48245	[ Illustration:"Whatever have you been doing with yourself, Murphy?
48245	[ Illustration:_ Clerk._"Return?"
48245	[ Illustration:_ Dooley._"What''s the matter wid ye anyhow, Mick-- all tattered an''torrun an''bitten an''scratched all over?"
48245	[ Illustration:_ Editor of Libellous Rag( who has just received a terrific but well- deserved kick)._"Dud you mane thot?"
48245	[ Illustration:_ Father O''Flynn._"And now, Pat Murphy, in this season of Lent, what is it ye''ll do by way of penance?"
48245	[ Illustration:_ Fisherman( beginner)._"Do n''t you think, Peter, I''ve improved a good deal since I began?"
48245	[ Illustration:_ Irish Dealer._"Ach, begorra, would ye run over the cushtomers?
48245	[ Illustration:_ Irish Emigrant( emerging from the steerage, feebly)._"Where''s the sails?
48245	[ Illustration:_ Irish Landlord( to his agent, who has been to London as a witness)._"And did ye mix much in society, Murphy?"
48245	[ Illustration:_ Irish Maid._"Do you want a good beating, Master Jimmy, or do you not?
48245	[ Illustration:_ Paddy._"Where will I catch the express for Dublin?"
48245	[ Illustration:_ Tourist._"When does the next train start for Cork, porter?"
48245	_ Captain._"Well?"
48245	_ Car- driver._"Bedad, surr, what''s the use o''that?
48245	_ Chairman( indignantly)._ Are these indecent interruptions to continue?
48245	_ Clerk( calmly)._"At what office did you get the order?"
48245	_ Colonel O''Funk._"Then, will you take it down, and I''ll clear it?"]
48245	_ Engine- driver._"Ca n''t ye see the signals is against me?"
48245	_ First Gent._"Did he, thin?!
48245	_ Hibernian Waiter._"Shumpane, sor?
48245	_ Irish Servant._"Is it the bit o''bhacon thin?
48245	_ Moriarty._"An anonymous letter?
48245	_ Murphy._"How do I find the crops is it?
48245	_ Native Inhabitant._"Baggit Street, yer honor, yis, yer honor, d''see that sthreet just forninst ye?
48245	_ Pat._"Is it bate him?
48245	_ Pat._"Phwat for ud Oi be wantin''a returrn ticket when Oi''m here already?"]
48245	_ Pat._"Wud your honour have me go out an''mend it in all this rain?"
48245	_ Paterfamilias._"No hot pickles of any description?"
48245	_ Saxon._"And are you the eldest?"
48245	_ Squire._"But did the keeper see you?"
48245	_ Station- master._"Is it the signals?
48245	_ Sub- Commissioner._"Now, Murphy, have you effected any improvement in this farm?"
48245	_ The Principal( knowing Pat''s failing)._"What have you got to drink there?"
48245	_ Traveller( fiercely)._"Eh?
48245	_ Traveller._"What''s the matter with him?
48245	_ Voice from Telephone._"Who for?"
48245	_ Waiter( satirically)._"Annything ilse, surr?"
48245	when he knows me quite well?"
48245	will I sit still to be shot at?!!"]
38146	)__ Sub- Lieutenant( of twenty- four hours''service)._Whereabouts is this pyrotechnic display of yours coming off, Colonel!!?"]
38146	Can you tell me how many species of pack animals there are?
38146	Do n''t you hear me, fellow? 38146 Do n''t you see?
38146	Got to give up my arms, have I? 38146 How long will you take to drive me to the fort, Cabby?"
38146	Impossible?
38146	March? 38146 Well, my dear Admiral, and how did you sleep?"
38146	Well?
38146	What the deuce are you men doing here right in the line of fire? 38146 Why do n''t you face your proper front, sentry?"
38146	Why?
38146	Yes, is n''t it fortunate? 38146 (_ No answer._)_ General._Well, do you know_ any_ kind of pack animal?"
38146	)_"George Hodge!--Where on earth''s George Hodge?"
38146	***** A MYSTERY FROM SHOEBURY.--When does the cannon ball?
38146	***** ARMY CHAPLAINS.--Wouldn''t they be all doubly serviceable in time of war if they were all canons?
38146	***** QUERY BY THE NAVY LEAGUE.--Does Brittania rule the waves, or does she mean to waive her rule?
38146	***** SOLVED AT LAST.--_Jawkins._ Why do they always call sailors"tars"?
38146	*****[ Illustration: A FORLORN HOPE_ Captain O''Dowd( of the firm of O''Dowd and Jones, stock- jobbers)._"What''ll I do now?
38146	*****[ Illustration: DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE_ Hector._"Now then, young feller-- who are you staring at?"
38146	*****[ Illustration: FLAG WAGGING_ Sergeant of Signallers._"What ai''s Murphy to- day?
38146	*****[ Illustration: MULTUM IN PARVO_ Inspecting Officer._"How is it your khaki is so much too small?"
38146	*****[ Illustration: THE ALDERSHOT CAMPAIGN_ Private Sweeny( Highland regiment)._"Colony bog, is it?
38146	*****[ Illustration: THE JOKE THAT FAILED_ Lubber._"I say, Jack, do you know why they''ve painted the ships grey in time of_ peace_?"
38146	*****[ Illustration: VOLUNTEER MANOEUVRES_ Sergeant._"Can I do anything for you, captain?"
38146	*****[ Illustration:_ Doctor._"Do n''t feel well, eh?
38146	*****[ Illustration:_ First Bluejacket._"Well, matey, wot''appened?"
38146	*****[ Illustration:_ North Cork Militia Man._"Am I to shalute him, or no?
38146	*****[ Illustration:_ Riding Master._"I thought you said you could ride?"
38146	*****_ Commander._ What is your complaint against this boy?
38146	*****_ Historian of the War( to Private of the Dublin Fusiliers)._ Now tell me, my man, what struck you most at the battle of Colenso?
38146	--_Officer._"What''s all this?
38146	--_Pall Mall Gazette._]_ Letter from a Private in the British Army to a Private in the German Army._ Dere Ole Sauerkraut,--Ow''''re yer going along?
38146	3, Mr. Buffles, how often am I to speak to you, sir?
38146	6?
38146	Ah, we used to have pleasant days in the old place?
38146	Ah--''ve you been in''service before?"
38146	Ammunition?"
38146	And did your father cry?"
38146	And did your sister cry?"
38146	And how are things going on?
38146	And how is your dear husband?
38146	And how many pounds of meat do your men eat a day?"
38146	And our army is rotten, madam-- rotten to the core.... What?
38146	And why?
38146	Appetite all right?"
38146	As I was saying, the militia system must be developed, and-- eh?
38146	B._ What do you say, George?
38146	B._ You ladies always design such sensible clothes for yourselves, do you not?
38146	Because why?
38146	Because why?
38146	But what are these trifles, compared with the glory that will soon be ours?
38146	But why do you ask?"
38146	By the way, where are they, dad?"
38146	Ca n''t you see my spurs?"
38146	Ca n''t you stop a minute for a chat?
38146	Can na''a body blaw their nose?"]
38146	Can you tell me what''mess''this is?"
38146	Can you tell me where?
38146	Captain Ponsonby told you?
38146	Carn''t see''un?"]
38146	Curtain._*****[ Illustration:_ Irascible Lieutenant( down engine- room tube)._"Is there a blithering idiot at the end of this tube?"
38146	Describe it as well as you can----"_ Private Dumpy._"A fine sight, sir?
38146	Did you never see a war- horse before?"
38146	Did your mother cry when you left?"
38146	Distinctly it is nobly patriotic to spend a fortnight with the N. R. A., in the cause of the fatherland,_ but_ is it quite worth the trouble?
38146	Do you give it up?"
38146	Dudd._ As how?
38146	G. Smith._ D''ye think they''re going to make a good job of it?
38146	Got to go into camp for his training?
38146	He intended making that witticism himself._]*****[ Illustration: SCENE ON BOARD H.M.S.----"I say, why am I like the Queen''s chief cook?
38146	He is stopped by messenger.__ Messenger._ Yes, sir?
38146	How do you''xpect to see the hobject haimed at, if you do n''t keep your heye closed?"]
38146	How would you get into line, in the quickest possible way, facing north- east?"
38146	I see hus a clearin''decks for haction, do n''t you, Bill?"
38146	If they are not picked to- day they''ll have to wait for three weeks?
38146	Is he not the official jester of a warlike people?
38146	It began with the letter from the Colonel to the General?
38146	May I ask why you have been giving this interesting entertainment?
38146	Need we mention that its driver was none other than Henry de Plantagenet?
38146	Now, just tell me where you would expect to find corns?"
38146	Now,''ow would you like to be called a bloomin''idjit, supposin''you was n''t one?
38146	Oh-- er-- they''re-- well, they''re---- but do n''t you think we''d better go to lunch?"]
38146	Oo''s the backbone of the English service?
38146	Punch._"And this is what you call instructing the Volunteers?"]
38146	Shall we-- march?"
38146	Slasher._"In which direction am I to retire, sir?"
38146	Surely we women, if allowed, could in peace bring culture to the barrack- room, and garland the sword with bay wreaths?
38146	That reminds you, shall Tomkins be told to pick the apples?
38146	Then, where were the movements carried out to?
38146	Tomkins wo n''t be here for three weeks?
38146	W. Smith._ D''ye know anything about this army reform?
38146	W. Smith._ Why do n''t yer write to the Prime Minister, and give him your ideas?
38146	Wear them bits of pitticoats that blow about and twirl Around your blushin''knees?
38146	What are yer a starin''at-- ain''t yer never seed a sodger before?"]
38146	What are you boys staring at?
38146	What are you doing with that cask?"
38146	What else would you recermend?
38146	What have you got there?
38146	What is it?
38146	What sort of life do they lead?
38146	What the blazes, Pat Rooney, d''ye mane by not doublin''wid the squad?"
38146	What was it?"
38146	What was the matter with it?"]
38146	What''ll I do now?
38146	What''s the matter?"
38146	Where''s your regiment?"
38146	Where_ is_ the Colonel?
38146	Who goes there?"
38146	Who will I give it to?"]
38146	Why do n''t you serve the sponge?"
38146	Why should I change these dear delights For toilsome days and sleepless nights, And red Bellona''s bloody rites That bear the devil''s stamp, sir?
38146	Why the deuce do n''t you sound the''Cease fire''when I tell you?"
38146	Why, how can there be any fun without your sisters, and your cousins, and your maiden aunts?
38146	Why?
38146	Wilson( with lofty scorn)._ Do I know anything about it?
38146	Wilson._ As''ow, yer old thick head?
38146	Would not their introduction-- as above-- into Whitehall lend a new and even more quaintly picturesque touch of grandeur to the scene?]
38146	You young monkey, how dare you joke up in the air like that?
38146	You''re a Volunteer, are n''t you?"
38146	[_ Dives under his table.__ First Student._ What''s the lecture about?
38146	[_ Does so._]*****[ Illustration: A CASE OF TU QUOQUE.--_She._"How do you like my new hat?"
38146	_ Aide- de- Camp( at the review)._"What are you doing here, sir?
38146	_ Aide- de- Camp( furious)._"What the deuce d''you mean, sir?
38146	_ Belgian Guide._ Ze brave Picton''e fall in ze arms of_ victoire_----_ Facetious Britisher._ Where was Lord Roberts?
38146	_ British Subaltern._"By- the- by, Smith, can you lend me that sovereign I gave you this morning for a Christmas- box?!"]
38146	_ Brown._ Yes, why should we?
38146	_ Captain._"What''s the charge, sergeant?"
38146	_ Commandant._"Bless you, sir, what are you about?"
38146	_ Doctor._"Sleep well?"
38146	_ First Student._ But surely not simultaneously?
38146	_ Fond Father._"Oh-- where are they?
38146	_ General._"Mr. de Bridoon, what is the general use of cavalry in modern warfare?"
38146	_ Hodge._"Whoy should n''t I stare at yer?
38146	_ Jones._ But upon what?
38146	_ Jones._ But what has Gibraltar to do with it?
38146	_ Jones._ Or the taxes?
38146	_ Jones._ Where is it to come from-- out of the rates?
38146	_ Marks._ Did we?
38146	_ Marks._ Of course it doesn''t-- whoever said it did?
38146	_ Mary Anne._"When are they going to start this army reform they talk such a lot about?"
38146	_ Officer._ But is a civilian allowed to take precedence of an officer in full uniform?
38146	_ Officer._"Augh-- what regiment?"
38146	_ Patron._ And your Colonel-- in the same battle, eh?
38146	_ Private Mulvaney._"Shall I signal to''i m,''Will ye''ave a drink?''?"
38146	_ Private Mulvaney._"Shall I signal to''i m,''Will ye''ave a drink?''?"
38146	_ Robinson._ Or was it Italy?
38146	_ Robinson._ Why should we?
38146	_ Sergeant Major._"Number three, where''s your sword?"
38146	_ The Officer._ No?
38146	_ The Officer._ What are we to do?
38146	bang!_)--"a military funeral too?"]
38146	take away the throusers off our pathriotic knees, As if we were a regiment of disordherly M.P.''s?
38146	what have you been saying to Captain Coward?
34676	And what did he say was the matter with you?
34676	Are you sober this morning, sir?
34676	Ay?
34676	Can you tell me when you are likely to have_ finished_ this job?
34676	Cocks and hens, then?
34676	De''''e gang aboot wi''a chain?
34676	Do you know anything about bees, Isaac?
34676	Have you seen the library at the Hall? 34676 How did it go, marm?"
34676	My angel!--crying!--Whatever''s the matter?
34676	My boy tells me you broke your cane across his back yesterday?
34676	Now, I wonder if your man has remembered to put in my pastoral staff?
34676	Suppose we try that movement again? 34676 Then do I understand you that your aunt is on your father''s side, or your mother''s?"
34676	Well, Adams, how are you getting on with my watch?
34676	Well, Johnson, been to the doctor, as I told you?
34676	Well, Mr. Huggins, and has the nurse been to see you yet?
34676	Well, Mr. Rogers, how did you like our music? 34676 Well, Richard, hard at work, eh?
34676	Well, Simpson, how do you like the hot weather?
34676	Well, if it''s too wet to work, why do n''t you go home?
34676	Well, sir, I''ope you found the arrangements in the''all satisfactory last night?
34676	Were there a cloth_ on_?]
34676	What''s the matter, Noggins? 34676 Where be Bonduca?"
34676	Why did Uncle Jonas cry so for, Aunt? 34676 Will ye tell us how mooch ye weigh, mister?"
34676	You do n''t know exactly_ how_ old, I suppose?
34676	You''ll keep cows, I s''pose, and all that sort of thing?
34676	''ave yer, though?
34676	(_ A pause apparently spent in mental calculation._) What might ye be askin''for''un now?
34676	***** A CONUNDRUM TO FILL UP A GAP IN THE CONVERSATION.--Why is a person older than yourself like food for cattle?
34676	***** A PASTORAL.--How should a shepherd arrange his dress?
34676	***** A PUZZLE IN HORTICULTURE.--_Little Chris._ Daddy, what makes onions?
34676	***** A RIDDLE FROM COLNEY HATCH.--_Q._ Why have we reason to suppose that a bee is a rook?
34676	***** AT THE CATTLE SHOW.--_Young Farmer._"Are you fond of beasts, Miss Gusherton?"
34676	***** EVERYTHING COMES TO THE MAN WHO WAITS.--_Country Rector''s Wife( engaging man- servant)._ And can you wait at dinner?
34676	***** FROM THE POULTRY.--When does a hen like beer?
34676	***** FURTHER ILLUSTRATION OF THE MINING DISTRICTS.--_First Polite Native._"Who''s''i m, Bill?"
34676	***** QUERY.--Has the want of rain this summer, and consequent failure of the hay crops, affected the market for Grass Widows?
34676	***** QUERY.--If you give two persons a seat in a cornfield, can this proceeding be called"setting them by the ears"?
34676	***** SIMPLE, BUT AGRICULTURAL.--_Q._ What is the best time for sowing tares?
34676	*****[ Illustration: A QUESTION OF VESTED INTEREST_ Vicar._"Well, gentlemen, what can I do for you?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: A SLIGHT MISTAKE.--_Farmer._"Where''ave ye been all this time?
34676	*****[ Illustration: A SURE SIGN OF IMPROVEMENT.--_Village Doctor._"Well Scroggins, I hope your wife is much better to- day, eh?
34676	*****[ Illustration: A YORKSHIRE GOSSIP_ First Gossip._"So you was nivver axed tu t''funeral?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: ACCOMMODATING.--_Old Lady._"Now then, what do you want?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: DIET.--_Village Doctor._"Well, are you better?
34676	*****[ Illustration: FORBEARANCE.--_Young Lady._"John, how long shall you be, as I want to practise?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: HEAVEN HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.--_ Doctor._"Well, John, how are you to- day?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: LITTLE AND GOOD_ Gentleman._"Who do these pigs belong to, boy?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: QUALIFIED ADMIRATION.--_Country Vicar._"Well, John, what do you think of London?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: SAGACITY.--_Countryman._"Fi''pounds too much for him?
34676	*****[ Illustration: THE HUMOURS OF HOUSE HUNTING.--_Lady._"Very healthy place, is it?
34676	*****[ Illustration: THE NEW SQUIRE_ Farmer._"Well, Giles, what do you think of him?"
34676	*****[ Illustration: TRIALS OF A NOVICE_ The Boy( to Brown, who has just taken a"little place"in the Country)._"Plaze, zur, wot be I to start on?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:"AT ONE FELL SWOOP"_ Wife._"Well, did ye find th''puddin''I left for you in the saucepan?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:"Be it true as your nevvy b''ain''t?]
34676	*****[ Illustration:"Did ye see the Lord Mayor when you was up to Lunnon?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:"SECOND THOUGHTS"_ Priest._"Wilt thou have this woman to thy wedded wife?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:"Tell your fortune, pretty gentleman?"]
34676	*****[ Illustration:"What''s that there blank space left for, Jim?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Convivial Party._"I shay, ole f''ller, how long doesh it take to gerout of thish wood?"]
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ District Visitor._"Well, Mrs. Hodges, going to have a cup of tea?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Doctor._"Well, Matthew, did you take those pills I sent you yesterday?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Doctor._"Well, Mrs. Muggeridge, how are you getting on?
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ First Tramp._"Why do n''t you go in?
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ First Village Dame._"Did I bring you back that basket you lent me last week?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Lady._"And you say you have been brought to this by your wife?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Parson._"Why, John, what are you doing there?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Rector._"Why, doctor, where are you off to?
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Stranger._"I suppose there''s not much society about here?"
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Village Gossip._"Did ye''ere as owd Sally Sergeant''s dead?
34676	*****[ Illustration:_ Young Lady._"Can you tell me the nearest way to get to Pulham from here?"
34676	--_Town Gent._"Now do you find keeping poultry answers?"
34676	An''did ye''ear a pianner?
34676	And how be things gettin''along with_ you_, sir, eh?
34676	And how old is your wife?"
34676	And how''s her temperature?"
34676	And where''s the old mare-- didn''t ye have her shod as I told ye?"
34676	Are you selling this property by the yard or by the pint?"]
34676	Brisket?"
34676	But wha''s the mon that''s walking beside ye?
34676	Cann''t ye, now?
34676	Come off o''your own farm?
34676	Do n''t you feel well?"
34676	Do n''t you see''i m a- waggin''his tail?"
34676	Do n''t you think you might try and stay, in future?"
34676	Do you live about here?"
34676	Do you want to hargue, you beggar?
34676	Fitz- Archibald Smith_(_ of London, to the Landlord_).--Is there a hair- dresser in the village?
34676	Fitzpudgit._"What is it, dear?"
34676	Fitzpudgit._"What''s the matter with the eggs, Matilda?
34676	Fretwail._ Why, what hev he bin up to_ now_, eh?
34676	Giles._"Yes, zur; but what on earth be the good o''sending they little things vor a girt big chap like he?
34676	Giles?"
34676	Giles?"
34676	Got the shillin''?"
34676	Have you any idea what the death- rate is here?"
34676	Have you taken your medicine regularly, and eaten plenty of animal food?"
34676	How is her pulse, eh?
34676	How would you like some soup?"
34676	I hope he''s all the better for it?"
34676	I hope that the smith is one of our friends?
34676	I thought you said you could''Read at sight''?"
34676	Is he at his old tricks still?"
34676	Is your husband at home?"
34676	Killing two birds with one stone, eh?"]
34676	Let me see, you_ are_ Richard, are n''t you?"
34676	Muggles?"
34676	Now, sir, what card did you select from the pack?"
34676	Pig- buyin''to- day, sir?
34676	Purch._ Five- an''-twenty?
34676	Purch._ I s''pose ye ai nt seen ole Jim''Arrows''bout''ere this marnin'', hev ye?
34676	Purch._ Old yoes-- well, ye know,''taint like_ young_ yoes,_ be_ it now?
34676	Ryemouth._ Speakin''o''queer ways o''hadvertisin'', hev any on ye set eyes on that farm o''young FULLACRANK''S?
34676	Southdowns?
34676	Spinks?"
34676	Stubbs?"
34676	Taken the medicine, eh?"
34676	Theer''s bin a genl''man from Leicestershire''ere, wawntin''me to run''i m off a dozen or so-- fur his perrk, d''ye see?
34676	Then I suppose you_ keep a bee_?"
34676	Then why do n''t us feed the canary on onions?
34676	Was her young life to be surrounded with infants?
34676	Weel, Donald, hoo gae they?
34676	Well, an''how''s Muster Spuddock to- day?
34676	What could the matter mean?
34676	What d''ye carl them yoes now?
34676	What on earth do you feed him on?"
34676	What was the reason, I wonder?"
34676	What''av''yer got?"]
34676	What''s that for?"
34676	What''s wrong with him, doctor?"
34676	Why do you ask?"
34676	Why, as likely as not,''twill all die off o''the land afore the year''s out-- and wheer wull he be_ then_?
34676	Wot''s that?"
34676	Would''e like to try him?
34676	[_ They all shake their heads solemnly as scene closes in._*****[ Illustration]*****[ Illustration:_ The New Curate._"Superb day, is n''t it?"
34676	_ Farmer._"What did a''tell ye, lads?
34676	_ First Stockbr._ An''how''s trade with_ you_, eh?
34676	_ Flippant Parishioner._"Really?
34676	_ Gentleman._"Yes, yes; but I mean who''s their master?"
34676	_ Giles._"Ay?"
34676	_ Giles._"Ay?"
34676	_ I_ niver did, and(_ aggressively_) naw moor_ yo''_ did n''t neither,''Enery,_ did_ ye now?
34676	_ Little Chris._ Then what makes seeds?
34676	_ Miss B._"Did you take her anything?"
34676	_ Miss B._"That was n''t much, was it?"
34676	_ Parson._"How is it he did n''t come to church on Sunday?
34676	_ Patient._"Be I to take it in four or six hale, guv''nor?"]
34676	_ Patient._"Yes, doctor; but could n''t''e do''em up in something different?
34676	_ Rustic._"Whoy?"
34676	_ Second Tramp._"Yus; an''do n''t you see''i m a- growlin''?
34676	_ Seller._ For them yoes?
34676	_ She._"Oh, how_ could_ he?
34676	_ Shepherd._"Lonely?
34676	_ The Inquirer._ Would ye hev any objection to sayin''why ye''re partin''wi''en?
34676	_ Tom._"Nor yet sheep?"
34676	_ Town Man._"Time passes slowly?
34676	_ Uncle._"Why, you bean''t never goin''to tell I as you''ve bin an''turned teetotal?"]
34676	_ Vicar._"Why do n''t you ask your own Vicar?"
34676	_ What''s_ been very fine here?
34676	_ Wife._"''Ow can you expect it to if you wo n''t take the doctor''s physic?"]
34676	_ Wife._"Did you take the cloth off?"
34676	a- goin''to marry that Miss Giles arter all?"
36529	A-- I beg your pardon?
36529	Aven''t I give''yer the edgication of a gen''leman?
36529	But was there no_ love_ in the piece, then?
36529	But wha''s the other light, sir?
36529	But what''s the yaller light, sir?
36529	Can you imagine anything more utterly solemn than the_ dénoûment_ in_ Romeo and Juliet_? 36529 Do n''t you see she''s got a bird in her hat, sitting?
36529	Has this child been on the stage?
36529	How precious well them''supers''are painted, ai n''t they?]
36529	My dear, are we going to stay to the''bitter end''?]
36529	O, coachman, do you know the principal entrance to Drury Lane Theat----?
36529	Really? 36529 Shakspeare?
36529	What did you think of that cigar as I give you the other day?
36529	What do you think of it?
36529	Who do you say they are, my dear!--Christian ministers? 36529 _ À la Lady Macbeth_, eh?"
36529	__ Author._What is the audience shouting for?"
36529	''Av you seen ze last new piece at ze''Olleborne?
36529	''Ow do you do?
36529	(_ Enter Robinson, staggering in._) Why, my boy, what''s the matter?
36529	(_ Marks prompt- book._) I wonder who that chap is in the wing?
36529	(_ Pausing at the open door._) And will you read it to us after dinner?
36529	(_ Ralph starts up._) Eh?
36529	(_ Reflects deeply._) Er-- do you mote much?
36529	***** A MODERN REHEARSAL_ Leading Lady( to Stage Manager)._ Who''s that man in the ulster coat talking to the call- boy?
36529	***** FROM OUR GENERAL THEATRICAL FUND.--Why would a good- natured dramatic critic be a valuable specimen in an anatomical museum?
36529	***** NO FIRST- NIGHTER.--_First Man in the Street._ See the eclipse last night?
36529	***** QUESTION AND ANSWER.--"Why do n''t I write plays?"
36529	***** THE MOAN OF A THEATRE- MANAGER Who gets, by hook or crook, from me Admittance free, though well knows he That myriads turned away will be?
36529	***** There is a blessing on peacemakers-- is there one on playwrights?
36529	***** WHEN are parsons bound in honour not to abuse theatres?
36529	*****[ Illustration: A DISENCHANTMENT.--_Grandpapa._"_ What_?
36529	*****[ Illustration: MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES_ Sangazur, Senior._"Look here, what''s all this nonsense I hear about your wanting to marry an actress?"
36529	*****[ Illustration: Mellow drammer]*****[ Illustration: FIRST NIGHT OF AN UNAPPRECIATED MELODRAMA.--_He._"Are we alone?"
36529	*****[ Illustration: OUR THEATRICALS.--_The Countess._"Will this cruel war_ never_ end?
36529	*****[ Illustration: PROGRESS_ Young Rustic._"Gran''fa''r, who was Shylock?"
36529	*****[ Illustration: THE NEW PLAY_ Low Comedian._"Have you seen the notice?"
36529	*****[ Illustration: TURNING A PHRASE.--_Dramatic Author._"What the deuce do you mean by pitching into my piece in this brutal manner?
36529	*****[ Illustration: The higher walk of the drama]*****[ Illustration:"Auntie, can_ you_ do that?"]
36529	*****[ Illustration:"THE SLEEPING BEAUTY."--"Nervous?
36529	*****[ Illustration:"Well, how did the new play go off last night?"
36529	*****[ Illustration:"Well, papa, how did you enjoy the play to- night?"
36529	*****[ Illustration:_ First Critic._"Well, have you seen the great tragedian in_ Romeo and Juliet_?"
36529	*****_ Evangeline._ Why is this called the dress circle mamma?
36529	*****_ Q._ When are the affairs of a theatre likely to assume a somewhat fishy aspect?
36529	*****_ Smart._ How do, Smooth?
36529	--"Ay, sir, what of him?"
36529	--_Mistress._"And you dare to tell me, Belinda, that you have actually answered a_ theatrical advertisement_?
36529	1._ What do you mean by that?
36529	3._ Then what is Mr. Tenterfore doing in town?
36529	A-- by the bye, have you seen Jones lately?"]
36529	All right, old chap, you know best-- what?
36529	And last, and( perhaps) not least, Why do n''t I send in a play?
36529	And what_ is_ the idea?
36529	Are there no other themes in every- day life which Mr. Pinero might take?
36529	Because why waste three weeks on writing a play, when it takes only three years to compose a novel?
36529	Bob in love with Miss Fontalba, the comic actress at the Parthenon?"
36529	Can you suggest anything?
36529	Cruche, Melon, Baudet, Dinde, Jobard, Crétin, Momie, Colin- Maillard que vous êtes?"
36529	D''ye take me an''the missus for a pair o''proize''osses?
36529	Darling, I love you-- will you marry me?
36529	Do you good to have half an hour out, just a few holes-- golf-- what?
36529	Do you know anyone?
36529	F.( advancing)._ Who are you, sir, who dare to trespass on my premises?
36529	F._ Who is that man?
36529	Going strong-- what?
36529	Hallo, Wobbler, brought your new song?
36529	Have something to drink?
36529	He groans''O, why did I ever write those letters?
36529	How are we to take this?
36529	How are you?
36529	How did you enjoy the piece, Miss MacGuider?
36529	How did you like my assumption of_ Hamlet_?"
36529	How the dickens am I to act such a beastly part as that?--and how am I to dress for it, I should like to know?"
36529	How_ could_ you be such a_ wicked_ girl?"
36529	How_ does_ she manage it?"
36529	I do n''t know if you''re keen about stopping here?
36529	I_ do_ hope you have n''t all been waiting for me?"
36529	If I can put in a word about your play-- hey?--what?
36529	M''Chrustie( in the washing- room of the Minerva Club)._"Look here, waiter, what''s the meaning of this?
36529	Mais vous savez le Français, alors?"
36529	Nothin''particular, only just to see how you were gettin''on-- what?
36529	P. agrees._]*****[ Illustration:_ Conversationalist._"Do you play ping- pong?"
36529	Perfect, I suppose?
36529	Petitpas on the bare- backed steed, was n''t it?"
36529	Pretty good?"
36529	Rippin''idea-- what?
36529	Shall I book places for_ Caste_ or_ Much ado about Nothing_?"
36529	Smith._"This is a very unpleasant piece, do n''t you think?
36529	Sounds tempting, but I wonder how it''s done?
36529	Stay-- aren''t those the Fitzsnooks?
36529	Supposing I had said"No,"would you have shot yourself?--would you have gone to the front?--would your life have been a blank hereafter?
36529	THE JEUNE PREMIER.--"_What_, Eleanor?
36529	They ca n''t very well talk while they are clinging to the boat; and what the deuce could they be talking about before?
36529	This is to distinguish it, we imagine, from the generality of acting, in which there is mostly no thinking?
36529	Thought I''d just look in-- hey?--what?
36529	Was it a dull piece, then?"
36529	Well, Mrs. Piggleswade, how did you like the Bishop''s sermon?
36529	Well, dear, and how is the play getting on?
36529	What are they playing?
36529	What did she think of my new comedy?"
36529	What do you want, old chap?
36529	What induced you to do it?"
36529	What on earth are these?"
36529	What''s a stall at the hopera?"
36529	What''s the matter, eh?
36529	What''s your business?
36529	What_ was_ the part?"
36529	Where are you?
36529	Who dubs the actors boorish hinds?
36529	Who fault with all the scenery finds?
36529	Who jeers and sneers At all he sees and all he hears?
36529	Who keeps his reputation still, For recompensing good with ill With more than pandemonium''s skill?
36529	Who loudly, as the drama''s plot Unfolds, declares the tale a lot Of balderdash and tommy- rot?
36529	Who makes the bankrupt''s doleful doom In all its blackness o''er me loom?
36529	Who runs us down for many a day, And keeps no end of folks away That else would for admittance pay?
36529	Who spreads dissatisfaction wide''Mongst those who else with all they spied Had been extremely satisfied?
36529	Who to his neighbour spins harangues, On how he views with grievous pangs The dust that on our hangings hangs?
36529	Who with disgust his molars grinds?
36529	Who''ll bring my grey head to the tomb?
36529	Who, aye withholds the claps and cheers That others give?
36529	Who, in a voice which rings afar, Declares, while standing at the bar, Our drinks most deleterious are?
36529	Who, while he for his programme pays The smallest silver coin, inveighs Against such fraud with eyes ablaze?
36529	Why should I?
36529	Will your husband mind, do you think?"
36529	Would anything interesting have happened?
36529	Would you mind accompanying me, Miss Brown?"]
36529	Y. D._"Ah-- er-- when was that?"
36529	Yes, yes?
36529	You do n''t mind my asking you to leave me to myself a bit?
36529	You enjoyed it?
36529	You mean the woman in the red feather at the end of the third row of the stalls?
36529	You surely did n''t really admire his acting?"
36529	You would n''t have the lady addle- headed, would you?"]
36529	[ Illustration: Gay at tea][ Illustration: Princesses and royal tea][ Illustration: Globe][ Illustration:"Scent, James?"]
36529	[ Illustration:"Toby, or not Toby?
36529	[_ Curtain and moral._*****[ Illustration:_ Manager of"Freak"Show._"Have I got a vacancy for a giant?
36529	[_ Does nothing.__ He._ Why, what''s the matter?
36529	[_ Wordy argument follows._]"Why, do n''t you remember, same time as Bill took us to the''Pig an''Whistle,''an''we''ad stewed eels for supper?"
36529	_ Author._"Then had n''t I better appear?"
36529	_ Belinda( whimpering)._"Well, mum,--_other_ young lidies-- gow on the-- stige-- why should n''t_ I_ gow?"]
36529	_ Brown._ Are you going to stay for_ The Gory Hand_?
36529	_ Dramatic Critic._"Pitching into it?
36529	_ First Quidnunc._"My dear sir, does n''t_ Hamlet_, when he handles_ Yorick''s_ skull, address_ Horatio_,''And smelt so, pa''?
36529	_ He._"Who wrote the piece, then?"
36529	_ His Wife( late of the Frivolity Theatre)._"How do, Duchess?
36529	_ Languid Friend._"Have we?
36529	_ Mademoiselle._"Indeed?
36529	_ Manager._"These?
36529	_ Maud._"_ Love?_ Oh dear no, mamma.
36529	_ Murphy._"What the dev''l d''ye mane?
36529	_ Robinson._ Do you think so?
36529	_ Second Ditto._"Surely a certificate is n''t necessary, dear?"]
36529	_ She._"Who wrote the piece?
36529	_ Smart( repressing something Shakspearian about"writing down"which occurs to him, continues pleasantly)._ Wrote you down?
36529	_ Smooth._ Matter?
36529	_ The Great Mathematician._"Ah, would you believe it, that bit of acting brought me more compliments than anything I ever did?"
36529	_ The S. in the U._ Do n''t you remember me, Mr. Footlyte?
36529	_ Tragedian._"No; is it a good one?"
36529	_ Visitor._ And what''s it all about?
36529	_ Voice from the Gallery._"What abeaout yer fice?"]
36529	how are you?
36529	my dear doctor, why is there not a society for the prevention of gruelty to animals?"]
36529	rushes off and writes furiously to the Committee!_]*****_ Q._ What were the"palmy"days of the drama?
36529	what is that I hear?"
36529	you meet with so often in Shakspeare and the old dramatists?"
36177	Always open, eh? 36177 And did you go on into Italy?"
36177	But we can get beds there, I suppose? 36177 Can you kindly direct me the nearest way to Slagley?"
36177	Can you please tell me the_ exact_ time?
36177	Can you tell me, my good man, if I shall pass the''Red Lion''inn along this road?
36177	Can you tell which is the best inn in Baconhurst?
36177	Confound it all, you say it''s nothing? 36177 Do you know anything about salmon- poaching in the neighbourhood?"
36177	Do you mean to say that you and your family live here all the winter? 36177 Eh?
36177	Going by Dieppe or Boulogne?
36177	How do you mean?
36177	How''s that?
36177	I say Tom, do you think your key will fit my bag?
36177	I say, uncle, can yew tell me, air there ever any new camels? 36177 I wonder if you have got such a thing as lemon peel or candied peel in your shop?"
36177	Is there anything else to look at in the village?
36177	Le Fiv''o''clock,i.e., Afternoon Tea._)_ Britisher._"_ Coming to the ball to- night, Count?_"_ Monsieur le Comte._"Moi, mon cher?
36177	Le Fiv''o''clock,i.e., Afternoon Tea._)_ Britisher._"_ Coming to the ball to- night, Count?_"_ Monsieur le Comte._"Moi, mon cher?
36177	Look here, what does this mean? 36177 May I be permitted to examine that interesting stone in your field?
36177	My lad-- which is the-- quickest way-- for me to get to the station?
36177	Oh, are n''t you glad, darling, we have come this delightful tour, instead of going to one of those stupid foreign places?
36177	Say, guide, have n''t we seen this room before?
36177	This is_ Gothic_, is n''t it, John?
36177	Waiter, go''sh''ch a thing as a warmin''-pan?
36177	What dun yo''co''that wayter?
36177	What''s this? 36177 Where can I get some water?"
36177	Which do you prefer, sir? 36177 Why do n''t you call upon the girl you were flirting with all last night?"
36177	Will it be like this all d- d- d- day daddy?]
36177	You''re running this ball, ai n''t you? 36177 _ Now_, my dear fellow is n''t this jolly?
36177	''Ang it, yer down''t suppowse as I were hedgerkited at Heton or''Arrow like a bloomin''swell, do yer?"
36177	''_ Arry._"Why do I speak my hown langwidge so hungrammatical?
36177	***** PLEASURE À LA RUSSE.--_Q._ When does a Russian give a Polish peasant a holiday?
36177	***** SHE MEANT NOTHING WRONG.--_Curate to American Visitor._ How do you like our church, Mrs. Golightly?
36177	***** THE SKELETON TOURIST''S VADE MECUM_ Question._ What is your object this year?
36177	***** TO INTENDING TOURISTS--"Where shall we go?"
36177	***** Would the epigrammatic translation of"_ sede vacanti_"as"Not well and gone away for a holiday"be accepted by an examiner?
36177	*****[ Illustration: GEOLOGY.--_Scientific Pedestrian._"Do you find any fossils here?"
36177	*****[ Illustration: ON A CERTAIN CONDESCENSION IN FOREIGNERS.--_He._"Oh, you''re from America, are you?
36177	*****[ Illustration: TACTFUL SYMPATHY_ Genial Friend._"Hullo, old man, getting on all right?"]
36177	*****[ Illustration: THE RULING PASSION_ Customs Official._"Have you anything to declare?"
36177	*****[ Illustration: THE WATER CURE_ Young Lady._"So you''ve been on the Continent, Professor?"
36177	*****[ Illustration: WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS,& c._ Jones._"I say, what''s the exact meaning of''voilà''?"
36177	*****[ Illustration: YOUNG AUSTRALIA SCENE--_Highland Gathering in the Antipodes._"Well, my little man, so you''re Scotch, eh?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:"BY THE CARD"_ Pedestrian._"How far is it to Sludgecombe, boy?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:"Carry your trunk, sir?"]
36177	*****[ Illustration:"Is this your favourite view, poppa darling?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:"Will you''urry up paintin''that tree, sir?
36177	*****[ Illustration:''ARRY ABROAD.--_Guide._"Monsieur finds eet a vairy eenteresting old place, ees eet not?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Chatty Tourist._"Beautiful specimen of a Roman camp, this, is n''t it?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ First Traveller._"Can we have beds here to- night?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Full- sized Tripper._"How does one get into the churchyard, please?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Scientific and Nervous Visitor at Country Hotel._"I suppose there''s no''ptomaine''in this pie?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Stout Party._"Is this path safe?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Tourist._"Was n''t there a great battle fought about here?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Traveller._"Can you direct me to Hollow Meadows?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Visitor._"Will you tell me where I shall find a seat?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Waiter._"Did you ring, Sir?"
36177	*****[ Illustration:_ Walking Tourist._"What''s the name of this village, my man?"
36177	A mountain summit white with snow Is an attractive sight, I know, But why not see it_ from below_?
36177	Aix- les- Bains?
36177	And do you find that people come here on week- days for rest and meditation?"
36177	And how often have I told you not to say"beastly"?
36177	And pray, which is the_ present_ Duchess?"]
36177	And where do their customers''little boys go?"
36177	And you?
36177	Are these adapted for playing only dance tunes, and therefore specially serviceable in a"Hop"county?
36177	Arrive at foot of"companion"( why"companion"?)
36177	Barkins, what brought you here?
36177	Bournemouth?
36177	Brussels?
36177	But how the deuce did you manage to see the table?
36177	But why should Toddlekins trouble to go so far afield?
36177	But, I say, how do you know there are no alligators here?"
36177	Can you tell me what egg this is?"
36177	Dear old Bluewater tries to keep me from going, and says,"What, after all,_ is_ sea- sickness?"
36177	Does that make much difference in their bill?
36177	Here on account of the waters?
36177	How about Brighton, Hastings, Eastbourne, Bexhill, Seaford, Cowes, Weymouth, Exmouth, Penzance, Lynton, or Tenby?
36177	How about Paris?
36177	How''s that?
36177	I can detect it distinctly now-- can''t you?"
36177	Is fancy dress_ de rigueur_?"
36177	Is n''t it funny, Archibald, to see so many foreigners about?
36177	Is n''t this worth all your club dinners?"
36177	Jones._"Am I not an expensive little wifie?"
36177	Most contrary, Why do you tumble so?
36177	Nice?
36177	Oderwise''ow should we live?
36177	One of the hands"( why"hands"?)
36177	People often say to me,''Do n''t you dislike Americans?''
36177	Quick work, was n''t it?"
36177	Rome, Seville, Constantinople, Cairo?
36177	Say, is it true that you''ve got a real live ghost here?
36177	Scotland or Ireland?
36177	Shoddy?"]
36177	Smith._"Oh, I was wondering whether you and your husband would care to accompany our party to Hadrian''s Villa to- morrow?"
36177	Spot or plain?"]
36177	Such a garb should be forbidden; Where''s the grace an artist loves?
36177	Switzerland?
36177	Tell me, oh tell me, Mr. Dunk, what did_ you_ think of it all?"
36177	That_ was_ a change for you, was n''t it?"]
36177	Then do you mean to tell us that you actually reached the North Pole?
36177	Then why do n''t you repair it?"
36177	Then''ow d''yer spell''wee''?"]
36177	This must be the east, must n''t it?
36177	Torquay?
36177	What arm of the sea reminds one of a borrowed boot?
36177	What can that be?"
36177	What did you suppose it was-- Dundee marmalade?
36177	What do you say?"
36177	What of that?
36177	What payment do you expect for it?"
36177	What''s that mean, Tripper,"Pas de Calais"?
36177	What?
36177	What?--Forward, half- back?"
36177	Where can I go to at Easter to be warm and comfortable, without so much trouble?
36177	Where do travellers generally go?"
36177	Where does it come from?
36177	Why leave the hospitable plain And scale Mont Blanc with toil and pain Merely to scramble down again?
36177	Why, what do you do when any of you are ill?
36177	You are very pretty boy, you dress in ze most perfect''chic''; but vy do you speak your own language so ungrammaticallé?"
36177	You know the Bight?
36177	Zen ve must not go therein to berampulate?"]
36177	[_ Exit Querier rapidly._*****[ Illustration: THE AMERICAN RUSH.--_American Tourist._"Say, how long will it take to see over the ruins?"
36177	[_ Objurgations, and midnight disturber retires._]*****[ Illustration: OUR COMPATRIOTS ABROAD.--"And how did you like Switzerland?"
36177	_ A.__ Un tour de Force._*****_ Q._ What is the difference between a traveller and a popular vegetable?
36177	_ Am_ I going to be----?
36177	_ American Tourist._"And how long will it take you to tell us about it?"]
36177	_ Arabella._"_ Oui._"_ Her Husband._"What did you say?"]
36177	_ Captain Longbow._ See the table?
36177	_ Coachman._"Ah, ai n''t it beautiful?
36177	_ Driver._"Pull at''i m?
36177	_ First Traveller._"Have you-- er-- any-- er--_insects_ in this house?"
36177	_ First ditto._"No''W''in French?
36177	_ German Nimrod._"Ach zo?
36177	_ He._ Yes, dear; which of them?
36177	_ Is n''t_ it delightful?
36177	_ Is n''t_ this charming?
36177	_ Jambon d''Yorck._ What''s that mean, Mr. T.?
36177	_ Local Torturer._"Be it, zur?
36177	_ Mamma._ Why, Tommy?
36177	_ Niece._"That was the day of the tidal wave, was n''t it, Auntie?"]
36177	_ Now which moight be their busy day there,_ mister?"]
36177	_ Q._ And if you visited the Rhine by the railway, what object of interest would chiefly attract your attention?
36177	_ Q._ But I presume your outing would justify the title of this Vade Mecum?
36177	_ Q._ Could you not spare more time than this from your holiday?
36177	_ Q._ Do you consider that your mind would derive much benefit from your rapid locomotion?
36177	_ Q._ How do you manage this?
36177	_ Q._ How long would you give St. Peter''s at Rome?
36177	_ Q._ Is it necessary to examine the places_ en route_ with much careful consideration?
36177	_ Q._ What advantage would you derive from your tour?
36177	_ Q._ What are compulsory omissions?
36177	_ Q._ What object of interest would you examine in the Land of the Midnight Sun?
36177	_ The Professor._"Really-- what_ are_ they?"
36177	_ Traveller._"And got any ice?"
36177	_ Waiter._"Ice, sir?
36177	_ Young Lady._"Really?
36177	berth, is it!--beg pardon-- or underneath it?"
36177	waiter, what do you call this soup?
36177	what_ do_ you think?
36177	you are vont of_ taincher_?
36177	Êtes- vous la diligence?
47718	But why not?
47718	Has he got a_ locum tenens_?
47718	How often have I told you I will not?
47718	No? 47718 (_ Then, thoughtfully, after a pause._)Are you afraid of being asked to look pleasant?"]
47718	***** AN EXCUSE.--_Mistress._"Another breakage, Jane?
47718	***** AT THE SMITHSON''S DANCE.--_Young Innocent._"I beg your pardon, did I tread on your foot that time?"
47718	***** CUTTING!--_Host._"What bin did you put that Marsala in, Muggles?"
47718	***** DIAGNOSIS.--"Is the rector better to- day, Jarvis?"
47718	***** HAPPY THOUGHT.--_Husband( devoted to spouse and bridge)._ What shall we christen the little dear?
47718	***** SELF- RESPECT.--_Cook( to fellow- servant who has been after a new place)._"Well,''Liza, will it suit?"
47718	***** SWEET SIMPLICITY.--_Visitor._"Jane, has your mistress got a boot- jack?"
47718	***** THE DEAR THINGS.--_He._ You know Jones''s wife, an old schoolfellow of yours; tell me, is she musical?
47718	***** THE FORCE OF HABIT.--_Missus( who is acting as amanuensis to Mary)._"Is there anything more you wish me to say, Mary?"
47718	***** THE GREATEST QUESTION OF THE DAY.--"My dear, what will you have for dinner?"
47718	***** UNCONSCIOUSLY APPROPRIATE.--_Jane._''Allo, Hemma, what are yer a- crying about?
47718	***** WHY, NATURALLY.--"Cook, ought I to write Salvation Army in_ converted commas_?"
47718	*****[ Illustration: DOMESTIC ECONOMY.--_Cook._"Wasteful, mum?
47718	*****_ Bucolic Boot- boy._"I say, Sarah, wotever be a creematorium?"
47718	*****_ Doctor( to Mrs. Perkins, whose husband is ill)._"Has he had any lucid intervals?"
47718	*****_ Mistress._"Did Mrs. Brown say anything when you told her I was out?"
47718	*****_ Not so Bad as Volodyovski._--_Lady( to applicant for nursemaid''s place)._ What is your name?
47718	*****_ Q._ What''s the difference between a fraudulent Bank Director and a Servants''Registry Office?
47718	*****_ Visitor._"Do you have any difficulty in getting servants?"
47718	--"What reason did he give for wishing to break off the engagement so soon?"
47718	--_Mistress( to former Cook)._"Well, Eliza, what are you doing now?"
47718	1.--What has the dealer declared?]
47718	2.--Will dummy go spades?]
47718	3.--Why did she declare hearts?]
47718	4.--What has dummy declared?]
47718	5.--Who doubled no trumps?]
47718	After all, why should ceilings be white?
47718	Ai n''t you, what?"
47718	Am I getting_ stout_?
47718	And how many are there in a case?"]
47718	And is this the dear little soul?
47718	And-- er--(_struck by the novelty_) what sort of paper did you have put_ outside_?
47718	Auriol?"
47718	Binks?"
47718	Borely?"
47718	Brown._"Pray, Jane, what on earth is the reason I am kept waiting for my breakfast in this way?"
47718	Ca n''t you give me something to remember him by?"
47718	Ca n''t you think of something shorter?
47718	D''ye think he''ll win?
47718	Did n''t ye see me call for trumps?
47718	Do I ever break in when you''re talking?"
47718	Er-- when could I have a minute with you alone?"
47718	Gimlet._"Who is that pretty girl those men are talking to?"
47718	Has he any tin?
47718	Have n''t you heard?
47718	How can you annoy me with such trifles?
47718	How ever did you do it?"
47718	How shall I like the yoke of marriage?
47718	I do n''t believe you''ve ever tasted my own make?"
47718	I hope you like your place?"
47718	I hope you''ve shown him in, and asked him to sit down?"
47718	I s''pose they''re all by the same man, eh?"]
47718	I suppose you wo n''t mind that?"
47718	Is it_ quite_ too late?
47718	Jones._"What is it, my pet?"
47718	Just tell me which day you like best?"
47718	May I have the pleasure?
47718	No_ bread?_ then bring me some_ toast_."
47718	Now, can you suggest any other inducement I can offer?"
47718	Now_ will_ he keep a carriage?
47718	Rickyard?"
47718	Ripping idea, is n''t it?"]
47718	Shall I get into hot water?
47718	Shall I have nerve to make the shot?
47718	Shall I put on the_ tiniest_ touch?
47718	Shall I risk the match?
47718	Shall_ I_ have a chance?
47718	Snooks( appearing at door)._"What''s the matter, Mary?
47718	So_ you_''ll do some tricks to amuse the children, wo n''t you?"]
47718	THE MODERN WOMAN''S VADE MECUM_ Question._ Do you agree with a certain female lecturer, that it is the duty of the fair sex to captivate the other?
47718	This is very sudden, is n''t it?"
47718	Tomlinson?"
47718	UN PAGE D''AMOUR]_ Q._ Then, before marriage, what should be your treatment of man?
47718	Was n''t that_ clever_ of him, dear?"
47718	Was the village very gay?"
47718	What do you advise?"
47718	What do you think, besides the joint, of ox- tail- soup, lobster patés, and an entrée-- say, beef?"
47718	What''s the matter?"
47718	What?"]
47718	Where did you get it, my dear?
47718	Which way do_ you_ go home?"
47718	Will there be a breeze on?
47718	Will they have mince- pies?
47718	Wo n''t you join?"
47718	Wonder if it hurts?
47718	Wonder if she rouges much?
47718	You can go, of course; but, as you have been with me for nine years, I should like to know the reason?"
47718	You understand it, I suppose?"
47718	[ Illustration: A BLANK PAGE.--_Sir Patrick._"Then, I presume you know a little about cleaning silver, waiting at table, and so on?"
47718	[ Illustration: A CHEERFUL PROSPECT_ General Blaxer._"Ah, partner, do you-- er-- discard from-- er-- strength or weakness?"
47718	[ Illustration: A GOOD START.--_New Maid Servant( just arrived)._"May I harsk if my young man''as called yet?"]
47718	[ Illustration: A HINT.--_Young Housewife( as the front door bell rings)._"Now, is that the butcher''s boy-- or a visitor?"
47718	[ Illustration: BEFORE THE RECEPTION.--_Lady of the House( instructing new page)._"Have you ever been at a party before, Riggles?"
47718	[ Illustration: BRIDGE BELOW STAIRS.--"Good gracious, James, whatever is the meaning of this extraordinary hilarity in the kitchen?"
47718	[ Illustration: FEBRUARY 14_ Mistress._"So you want me to read this love- letter to you?"
47718	[ Illustration: NEW YEAR''S FETE AND GALA.--"Well, Jane, did you have a good time at home?
47718	[ Illustration: PRIMUM VIVERE, DEINDE PHILOSOPHARI.--"Is Florrie''s engagement really off, then?"
47718	[ Illustration: SANCTA SIMPLICITAS_ Orthodox Old Maid._"But, Rebecca, is your place of worship consecrated?"
47718	[ Illustration: THE CONVALESCENT_ New Curate( tenderly)._"My good man, what induced you to send for me?"
47718	[ Illustration: THE MEREST ACCIDENT.--_She._"So you failed in your_ vivâ voce_ exam.?"
47718	[ Illustration: THE SERVANT QUESTION"Oh, I say,''ave you seen the papers about''shall we do without servants?''
47718	[ Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNSAID.--_Hostess( who has just sung)._"Are you_ quite_ sure you do n''t sing, Captain Lovell?"
47718	[ Illustration:"----BUT THOSE UNHEARD ARE SWEETER"SCENE--_A Boarding- house.__ Wife._"Why do you always sit at the piano, David?
47718	[ Illustration:"A GHOSTLY VISITANT"_ Mistress( returning)._"Any one to see me, Mary?"
47718	[ Illustration:"MERELY MARY ANN"AGAIN.--"Please,''m, the fishmonger says will you have it filtered?"]
47718	[ Illustration:_ Applicant( for situation as parlour- maid)._"Should I be expected to hand things at lunch, madam,_ or do you stretch_?"]
47718	[ Illustration:_ Employer( to applicant for situation)._"And then I am very particular about my cellars; you understand wine, I presume?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Her Ladyship( who has been away from home for Christmas)._"Well, Blundell, I hope you all had an enjoyable Christmas dinner?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Hostess._"And do you really believe in christian science?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Lady Caller( to old family servant)._"Well, Bridget, did Master Arthur shoot any tigers in India?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Lady Sneerwell._"Have your daughters accomplished much in music?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Mistress( about to engage a new housemaid)._"Have you had any experience?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Mistress._"Well now, what can you cook?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Sentimental Youth( to partner shaken by a passing tremor)._"Oh, I hope you do n''t feel cold?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ She( to clumsy steerer)._"Rather like progressive bridge, is n''t it?"
47718	[ Illustration:_ Son of the House._"Are n''t you dancing this?
47718	[ Illustration:_ Son of the House._"Wo n''t you sing something, Miss Muriel?"
47718	_ Am_ I too old a bird to mate?
47718	_ Bertram( thinking to be complimentary)._"Which one?"]
47718	_ Cook._"Yes,''m-- Fresh, or Austr----?"
47718	_ Daughter of the House._"Can you tell that by just looking at her?"
47718	_ Deaf Old Gent._"Eh?
47718	_ He._ Are Costa Ricas going up or down?
47718	_ He._ By Jingo, was that twinge a touch of gout?
47718	_ He._ Can I stave off old Snip another quarter?
47718	_ He._ Does the grey show-- unless one looks too close?
47718	_ He._ Does this moustache mean to come on at all?
47718	_ He._ Hoisted?
47718	_ He._ I say, how many l''s are there in"girl"?
47718	_ He._ I wonder if this"weed"will turn me queer?
47718	_ He._ I wonder whether_ She_ will answer right?
47718	_ He._ Is it a"pass,"I wonder, or a"pluck"?
47718	_ He._ Is my neat middle parting_ really_ thinning?
47718	_ He._ Must I allow the vest another inch?
47718	_ He._ Must I drop drinking port wine after dinner?
47718	_ He._ My dear,_ can_ that last cheque be wholly spent?
47718	_ He._ Shall I have"go"to get through this round dance?
47718	_ He._ Shall I, I wonder, get my knighthood now?
47718	_ He._ Will Lord Fitz- Faddle give that berth to Jack?
47718	_ He._ Will Uncle take me to the pantomime?
47718	_ He._ Will our chaps at the wickets have a chance?
47718	_ He._ Will they blackball me at the Buffers''Club?
47718	_ He._"Why?"
47718	_ It''s only master!_"]***** EVERYTHING COMES TO THE MAN WHO WAITS.--_Country Rector''s Wife( engaging manservant)._ And can you wait at dinner?
47718	_ Master( reads writing on card, then suddenly springing up, exclaims)_ Oh--(_stops the escape of a very strong expletive_)--How long ago?
47718	_ Miss J._"But sha n''t I bore you?
47718	_ Mistress._"Can you do a_ vol- au- vent_?"
47718	_ Mistress._"Let''s see?
47718	_ Mistress._"What about_ entrées_?"
47718	_ Nurse._"Well, ma''am, I hope as you do n''t expect me to go walking with_ that_ young person?
47718	_ Oldest Inhabitant._"What does he say, Betty?"
47718	_ Q._ And after the nuptial knot had been tied, what then?
47718	_ Q._ And if a woman has literary tastes, what would you advise?
47718	_ Q._ What do you think of glasses?
47718	_ Q._ What is your opinion about latchkeys, visits to the music- halls, and cigarettes?
47718	_ Q._ You do not object, then, to brains in the abstract?
47718	_ She( shyly)._"How would_ I_ do?"]
47718	_ She._ Could I get on those"sixes"at a pinch?
47718	_ She._ Did Lady Linda mean that as a snub?
47718	_ She._ Did that sly Fanny hear him call me"dear"?
47718	_ She._ Doctor, dear doctor, what_ does_ ail my back?
47718	_ She._ I wonder whether_ He_ will"pop"tonight?
47718	_ She._ Is Nelly really sweet on_ that_ young Brown?
47718	_ She._ Is flirting_ really_ now a sort of sinning?
47718	_ She._ Is that a tinge of red about my nose?
47718	_ She._ Is the dear fellow right about confession?
47718	_ She._ Now shall I get a partner for this dance?
47718	_ She._ Shall I, oh shall I, have a chance this season?
47718	_ She._ Was it my eyes with which he seemed so struck?
47718	_ She._ When_ will_ the major come up to the scratch?
47718	_ She._ Will Flora hook the wealthy cotton- spinner?
47718	_ She._ Will Lady Jane before those Jones''s bow?
47718	_ She._ Will Mamma let me wear my hair in curl?
47718	_ She._ Will Papa think dear Percy''s"screw"too small?
47718	_ She._ Will he give me or Fan the first round dance?
47718	_ She._ Will it be Brighton or the Continent?
47718	_ She._ Will my new doll open and shut her eyes?
47718	_ She._ Will pretty Master Smith be there this time?
47718	_ She._ Will the new curate be engaged or not?
47718	_ She._"Is n''t there?
47718	_ She._"Oh, were n''t you there?"]
47718	_ She._"Why do n''t you do something?"
47718	_ She.__ Did_ he mean anything by that warm glance?
47718	_ Tomlinson( who is always ready with some pretty speech)._"Have I, really?
47718	_ Who_ is it that sees and hears all we do, and before whom_ even I_ am but as a crushed worm?"
47718	_ Wife( still more devoted)._ I''ve been thinking-- why not--_Bridget?__ Husband( delighted)._ By all means.
47718	_ Wilkins._"Certainly my lady; and afterwards I presoom we may dance with''oom we like?"]
47718	and why has n''t he put his address?"]
47718	going to leave us, James?"
37166	Ai n''t yer, sir? 37166 But how am I to get on?"
37166	Can you tell me, my good man, if this plant belongs to the''Arbutus''family?
37166	Do you smell the iodine from the sea, Edwin? 37166 Fine idea this, sir, for the hair, eh?"]
37166	Have you any experience of squalls, Brown?
37166	Have you got the price of two Scotch whiskies on you?
37166	How much are those-- ah-- improvers?
37166	How on earth am I to prevent it, my love?
37166	I say, Effie, do you know what I should like? 37166 Oh, aunt, you''re not coming in with your spectacles on?"
37166	Want a donkey, mister?]
37166	Well, Jane, have you found it dull?
37166	What is it?
37166	What sort of people do you get down here in the summer?
37166	Where on our earthly planet?
37166	Where''s Ramsgate? 37166 Where''s Ramsgate?
37166	Why on earth ca n''t we go to a more_ dressy_ place than this,''Enery? 37166 With Thanet Harriers, when you are Well mounted on a pony, You''ll say, for health who''d go so far As Cannes, Nice, or Mentone?
37166	''Oo cares?
37166	''Oo let him in''ere--_you_?
37166	(_ Aside to Bones._)''Oo_ is_ he?
37166	(_ The Children giggle, but remain seated._) Not one?
37166	(_ To Alf._) Kin it be?
37166	***** EMBARRASSMENT OF RICHES: MARGATE.--_Mother._"Now, Tommy, which would you rather do-- have a donkey ride or watch father bathe?"
37166	***** THE TRIPPER(_ By a Resident_) What does he come for?
37166	*****"WHERE''S RAMSGATE?"
37166	*****[ Illustration: BY THE SAD SEA WAVES"But, are you sure?"
37166	*****[ Illustration: CONVERSATIONAL PITFALLS_ Irene._"Do you remember Kitty Fowler?"
37166	*****[ Illustration: CURLEW]***** AT SCARBOROUGH.--_Miss Araminta Dove._ Why do they call this the Spa?
37166	*****[ Illustration: LOCAL INTELLIGENCE"D''year as''ow old Bob Osborne''ave give up shrimpin''an took ter winklin''?"
37166	*****[ Illustration: NAUGHTICAL?
37166	*****[ Illustration: PARIS?
37166	*****[ Illustration: PLEASURES OF THE SEASIDE_ Mermaiden._"I am told you keep a circulating library?"
37166	*****[ Illustration: UNLUCKY COMPLIMENTS_ Shy but Susceptible Youth._"Er--_could_ you tell me who that young lady is-- sketching?"
37166	*****[ Illustration:_ She._"How much was old Mr. Baskerville''s estate sworn at by his next- of- kin?"
37166	*****[ Illustration:_ The General._"And what are you going to be when you grow up, young man?"
37166	*****[ Illustration:_ Visitor._"Have you ever seen the sea- serpent?"
37166	*****_ Same day, after an early dinner, lying on the beach._ Wonder why I can never get any fish?
37166	*****_ Same day, after lunch, lying on the beach._ Wonder who in the house beside myself is partial to my dry sherry?
37166	A month hence, shall we be glad or sorry to leave Pierpoint, and go back to Paddington?
37166	Ai n''t he stood nothing?
37166	Ai n''t yer comin''up for it?
37166	Ai n''t you a- coming to help me?"
37166	And did n''t you tell me, my own, that the parents of Mr. Stuart Jones were convicts before they became millionaires?
37166	Are you not a relative of Mr. Dan Briggs?"
37166	B._ Why?
37166	Brown finds Sandymouth a very different place from what she remembers it years ago.__ Greengrocer._"Cabbage, mum!?
37166	Brown._"Might I ask how much you gave that nigger?"
37166	Brown?"
37166	But, bless you, wot''s it come to now?
37166	By the way, dear, did n''t you say that the Plantagenet Smiths were suspected of murdering their uncle before they inherited his property?
37166	Ca n''t you be quiet?"
37166	Children playing near me, pretty, very?
37166	Did you''ear that, Bert?
37166	Do I_ look_ as if I wanted a boat?"]
37166	Do n''t you recollect our meeting this summer at Harrogate?
37166	Do n''t you think so?"
37166	Do you suppose_ they_ ever gave way to strong drink?"
37166	For what could mortal man or maid want more Than breezy downs to stroll on, rocks to climb up, Weird labyrinthine caverns to explore?
37166	Fydgetts._"What''s the use of making that noise?
37166	Go out of town What if we do?
37166	Had n''t I better go to the rescue, Miss Loo?
37166	He wonders too?
37166	I want to see him do you credit, that''s all, and he could n''t''ave a better opportunity to distinguish himself-- now_ could_ he?
37166	I wonder( to the boatman) if it will be a fine day tomorrow?
37166	If so, is the tide sometimes higher than usual, as the-- ahem!--odours certainly are?
37166	Is n''t it refreshing?"
37166	It was n''t_ me_ upset him-- was it now?
37166	Justice Hawkins._ Where is Ramsgate?
37166	Now then, which is the little gal to step out first and git a medal?
37166	On second thoughts, wonder what I shall do if it is n''t?
37166	Shall I, dreaming thus at home, Left ashore behind here, Envy restless men who roam Seeking what I find here?
37166	Shall we be happy in our laundress?
37166	Shall we be photographed?
37166	Shall we be satisfied with our first weekly bill?
37166	Shall we call on the Denbigh Flints, who, according to the_ Pierpoint Pioneer_, are staying at 10, Ocean Crescent?
37166	Shall we carefully avoid the Wilkiesons, whom the same unerring guide reports at 33, Blue Lion Street?
37166	Shall we dine late or early?
37166	Shall we find Kate all that a Kate ought to be?
37166	Shall we find everything dearer here than it is at home?
37166	Shall we find in it any unexpected and novel extras, such as knife- cleaning, proportion of the water- rate, loan of latch- key,& c.?
37166	Shall we get to know the people in the drawing- room?
37166	Shall we like Mrs. Kittlespark?
37166	Shall we lock everything up, or repose a noble confidence in Mrs. Kittlespark and Kate?
37166	Shall we relax our minds with the newest novels, or give our intellects a bracing course of the best standard works?
37166	Shall we subscribe to the Pier, or pay each time we go on it?
37166	Since beside my native sea, Where I sit to woo it, Pleasure always comes to me, Why should I pursue it?
37166	T._"Well, Mr. Tomkins, and pray who may Henrietta be?"
37166	T._"What a wretch you must be, T.; why do n''t you take me off?
37166	Their interest is totally untinged with envy._]*****[ Illustration: OVERHEARD AT SCARBOROUGH"Do you know anything good for a cold?"
37166	Up street and down street with Dull vacant stare, Hither and thither, it Do n''t matter where?
37166	Was she-- er-- a person of position?"
37166	We both wonder together?
37166	Well, and what more would you have_''ad_ him say?
37166	Well?
37166	What cared he about my getting wet through twice in one day, so long as it raised the price of his wretched wheat?
37166	What do you mean by that, madam?
37166	What do you mean by that, madam?
37166	What does he mean by it?
37166	What does he want?
37166	What has become of Tiny?
37166	What_ will_ missus say?"]
37166	When will it be over?
37166	Where do you expect to go to?"
37166	Where_ can_ he have come from?
37166	Wherever can them two plegs have got to?
37166	Why do n''t he stay at home, Save his train fare, Soak at his native beer, Sunday clothes wear?
37166	Why does he come Hundreds of miles to prowl, Weary and glum, Blinking at Kosmos with Lack- lustre eye?
37166	Why does he come away?
37166	Why does he wander thus Careworn and gaunt?
37166	Why is he here?
37166	Why should it be something so unutterably miserable and depressing that its mere recollection afterwards makes one shudder?
37166	Why, do you know what they call us down here?
37166	Wife, how can she, Grown old and fat?
37166	Wonder how I ever could live in London?
37166	Wonder how the boatmen here make a livelihood by lying all day at full length on the beach?
37166	Wonder if I should like to be a shrimp?
37166	Wonder if I should like to go up in a balloon?
37166	Wonder if he''s going to do it again?
37166	Wonder if it will be a fine day?
37166	Wonder if it''s hot in London?
37166	Wonder if police inspectors are as a rule fond of bathing?
37166	Wonder if she came yesterday or the day before?
37166	Wonder if she''s pretty?
37166	Wonder if that little boy intended to hit me on the nose with a stone?
37166	Wonder if that''s the coast of France in the distance?
37166	Wonder if the Pope can swim?
37166	Wonder if the Zoological Gardens are open at sunrise?
37166	Wonder if there are any letters?
37166	Wonder if there''s any news from America?
37166	Wonder more than ever who there is at my lodgings so partial to my dry sherry?
37166	Wonder several times more than ever who it is that''s so fond of my dry sherry?
37166	Wonder what I shall do all the afternoon?
37166	Wonder what I shall do all this evening?
37166	Wonder what I shall do if it is?
37166	Wonder what I shall do to- morrow?
37166	Wonder what I''ve been thinking about the last ten minutes?
37166	Wonder what Speke and Grant had for dinner to- day?
37166	Wonder what age I was last birthday?
37166	Wonder what gave me that idea?
37166	Wonder what made me think of that?
37166	Wonder what there is for dinner?
37166	Wonder what there is for dinner?
37166	Wonder what time it is?
37166	Wonder what tooral looral means in a chorus?
37166	Wonder what''s in the paper to- day?
37166	Wonder who that is in a white petticoat with her hair down?
37166	Wonder why every one who sits on the shore throws pebbles into the sea?
37166	Wonder why my landlady introduces cinders into the gravy?
37166	Wonder( again to the boatman) if the rail will make much difference to the place?
37166	Would you like to see a catalogue?"]
37166	Your name, my dear?
37166	[ Illustration]_ Monday_(?)
37166	_ Brown._ Why odious?
37166	_ Brown._"Matter?
37166	_ Chorley._ Do you notice how they keep kicking him beyind on the sly like?
37166	_ Lady Artist._"Do you belong to that ship over there?"
37166	_ Lady Artist._"Then would you mind loosening all those ropes?
37166	_ Mabel._"What do you want_ them_ for?"
37166	_ Man with Sand Ponies._"Now then, Mister, you an''the young lady, a pony apiece?
37166	_ Pater._ Eh?
37166	_ Pater._ Eh?
37166	_ Paterfamilias._ What, then, do you consider extras?
37166	_ Q._ And what becomes of the house in town?
37166	_ Q._ But has not the seaside visit a compensating advantage?
37166	_ Q._ But surely in the last case there would be the certainty of pecuniary indemnity?
37166	_ Q._ Do not some of the Eastenders visit the seaside?
37166	_ Q._ Has a sojourn by the sea waves any disadvantages?
37166	_ Q._ How can this be, if it be assumed that the East is poorer than the West?
37166	_ Q._ Then the metropolis will become empty?
37166	_ Q._ Then, taking one thing with another, the benefit of a visit to the seaside is questionable?
37166	_ Q._ What do you consider the remaining residuum?
37166	_ Question._ Is it your intention to leave London at once to benefit by the ocean breezes on the English coast?
37166	_ Report of Twyman v. Bligh._]"Where''s Ramsgate?"
37166	_ Second Lady._"Yes, dear, but do n''t you see?
37166	_ She._"Really?
37166	_ T._"Well, then-- will you promise not to kick up such a row when I stop out late of a Saturday?"]
37166	_ after breakfast, lying on the beach._ Wonder if it is Monday, or Tuesday?
37166	as it''s a fine day, you''ll sit on the beach and read the paper comfortably, will you?
37166	is that the only boat you have in?"]
38586	Because who ever''eard of''Aydn alone? 38586 Do you sell type?"
38586	Finen?
38586	I say, Bill, you are n''t got such a thing as the price of''arf a pint about you, are yer? 38586 Jack,"said Robins,"which varsity would you rayther go to, Hoxford or''Idleberg?"
38586	Oo''s''Icks''?
38586	What do you mean by ile? 38586 Yer know that young Germin feller as come ter sty in our''ouse six months agow?
38586	_''Ackney?_ Why, that''s just what_ t''other_ medical gent he told me! 38586 _''Aydn._""Why?"
38586	& c."_ Bystander._"Why do n''t yer answer''i m back?"
38586	''As yer motor broke down?"
38586	''Ate her.__ Inquirer._ What feel I when she hints at sea- side clothing?
38586	''Ow are yer gettin''on?"
38586	''Ow are yer?
38586	''Ungry?
38586	( A FACT).--_''Arriet( looking at the Java sparrows)._ Wot''s them?
38586	( Are yer fly to the pun?)
38586	(_ The artist is rather shy, and has left his model to do the honours of his studio._)"From whom did Mr. M''Gilp paint that head?"
38586	)_ What''s that?"
38586	***** A COCKNEY CON.--When may a man really be supposed to be hungry?
38586	***** A COSTERMONGER''S CANT Bill Coster said,"See them two fish?
38586	***** AT SCARBOROUGH.--_''Arriet( pointing to postillions of pony- chaises)._ Why do all them boys wear them jackets?
38586	***** BY OUR COCKNEY When is a yew tree not a yew tree?
38586	***** COCKNEY CONUNDRUM.--Wot lake in Hengland''s got the glassiest buzzum?
38586	***** COCKNEYISM IN THE COUNTRY.--_1st Cockney._ I say, what sort of a''ouse will do for a fowl-''ouse?
38586	***** COCKNEYS AT ALDERSHOT.--_First Cockney._"''Ere,''Arry, where''s the colonel?"
38586	***** CONUNDRUM FOR COCKNEYS.--Which has the greater amount of animal heat, the beaver or the otter?
38586	***** DOUBLE COCKNEY CONUNDRUM FOR THE DERBY DAY.--"What eminent composer would in England have probably been''in the ring''?"
38586	***** EGGING HIM ON.--_Knowing old Gentleman._ Now, sir, talking of eggs, can you tell me where a ship lays to?
38586	***** FOR THE USE OF SCHOOLS.--(_By a Cockney._) Why should not Dr. Watts''poems be read by youth?
38586	***** GOOD PAPER FOR DEAF COCKNEYS.--_The''Earer._***** THE MUSICAL COSTER CRAZE.--_Customer._ Have you a copy of Costa''s_ Eli_?
38586	***** MOTHER WIT.--_First Coster._ I say, Bill, wot''s the meanin''o''Congress?
38586	***** SEASONABLE.--_''Arry''s friend._ What''s the proper dinner for Ash Wednesday?
38586	*****"ON A CLIFF BY THE SEA"(_ Whit Monday_) A verse for"''Arry"?
38586	*****''ARRY EXAMINED.--_Q._"What is meant by''Higher Education''"?
38586	*****[ Illustration: A BI- METALLISTIC DISCUSSION_ Jim._"What''s this''ere''Bi- metallism,''Bill?"
38586	*****[ Illustration: EASTER MONDAY_''Arry._"Do you pass any pubs on the way to Broadstairs, cabby?"
38586	*****[ Illustration: ERRAND BOYS_ First Boy._"Where are yer goin''to, Bill?"
38586	*****[ Illustration: NATURAL HISTORY NOTES_ Country Cousin._"Lor, Bill, ai n''t that a horstrich?"
38586	*****[ Illustration: NOT WHAT SHE EXPECTED SCENE--_Canal side, Sunday morning__ Lady._"Do you know where little boys go to who bathe on Sunday?"
38586	*****[ Illustration: POLITICS AND GALLANTRY_ First''Arry._"Hay, wot''s this''ere Rosebery a torkin''abaat?
38586	*****[ Illustration: POOR LETTER"H""Have you got any_ whole_ strawberry jam?"
38586	*****[ Illustration: RUDE INQUIRY_ Street Arabs._"Hoo curls yer''air, gov''nour?"]
38586	*****[ Illustration: THE WILD WILD EAST_ First Coster._"Say, Bill,''ow d''yer like my new kickseys?
38586	*****[ Illustration:"Bill, can you lend me twopence?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:"Comin''up to''Yde Park to''ave a bave,''Arry?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:"Did yer order any ile round the corner?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:"I say, Bill, oo was this''ere Nelson as everybody wos a talkin''about?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:"I say, Bill, wot''s a Prodigal?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:"Would you gentlemen like to look at the old church?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:_ Coster( to acquaintance, who has been away for some months)._"Wot are yer bin doin''all this time?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:_ First Workman._"Why do n''t yer buy yer_ own_ matches,''stead of always cadgin''mine?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:_ First"Growler"._"''Ulloah, William, where are yer takin''that little lot?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:_ Gorgeous- looking Individual._"Most''strordinary weather, ai n''t it?
38586	*****[ Illustration:_ Man Cleaning the Horse._"Naa then lazy, w''y do n''t yer do some work?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:_ Toff._"I say, my boy, would you like to drive me to Piccadilly?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:_''Arriet._"Wot toime his the next troine fer''Ammersmith?"
38586	*****[ Illustration:_''Arry( encountering a shut gate for the first time)._"Wonder which end the thing opens?
38586	--"Type, sir?
38586	2''?"
38586	A stytion at_ Jack Strors_?
38586	A''Appy New Year?
38586	Ah, what would them pore fellers give if honly they could come An''live with all their fam''ly in our garret hup the slum?
38586	Ai n''t it always a''_ Aydn and abettin_''?
38586	Airy.__ Inquirer._ And what''s her goal in every hint and notion?
38586	All alone?"]
38586	And do n''t it make yer''eart bleed, too, to think of all the care Of mansions in the country and an''ouse in Grosvenor Square?
38586	And for two quid a week?
38586	Answers she politely?
38586	Any kiddy as''as''ad''arf an eddication knows what the plural of''''oss''is, do n''t he?
38586	But if there ai n''t no more coppers,''ow about the''buses and the hunderground rileway?"
38586	But why do n''t he cure it and make it Quite Well Street?"
38586	But why make such a fuss about it in Ireland?"
38586	C. H._"Wot are yer goin''ter do?"
38586	Call me cad?
38586	Carn''t yer manige to run down on Sunday?
38586	Carnegie._]''Ere, Lizer, wheer''s yer gratitood?
38586	Coffers.__ Inquirer._ Then if I storm, what word breaks sequent stillness?
38586	Cut barmaids, billiards, bitter beer and betting?
38586	Do n''t it vary the monotony An''Wooster sorce yer vittles, that''s supposin''as yer''ve got any?
38586	Do n''t yer see I''m navigatin''the Hark?"]
38586	Do you keep dogs like that?"
38586	Do you mean oil?"
38586	Doin''any business?"
38586	Earning.__ Inquirer._ What''s the chief issue of this seaward flowing?
38586	Eh?
38586	Ever.__ Inquirer._ What is the manner of my buxom Mary?
38586	Giving.__ Inquirer._ What is man''s share anent this yearly yearning?
38586	Gone mouldy, or moon- struck, or wot?
38586	Good fit, eh?"
38586	Hollow!__ Inquirer._ What would the sex when it assumes that virtue?
38586	How do I know this?
38586	How long before I''m free of tradesmen''s pages?
38586	Hupper or lower?
38586	Hurt you.__ Inquirer._ What''s the result of halting and misgiving?
38586	I''m out on the trot for a fortnit; and ai n''t it golumpshusly fine?
38586	I''ve sung comic songs on the cliffs after dark, and wot''s fun if that ai n''t?
38586	Illness!__ Inquirer._ What feels a man when women''gin to blubber?
38586	Is chief.__ Inquirer._ What is this close agreement of_ my_ women?
38586	Just wish I''d got a voice; Cut the old den to- morrow, lots of cham., Cabs and diamonds,--ain''t that real jam?
38586	Learn languages?
38586	Leisure.__ Inquirer._ The second( for a slave to matrimony)?
38586	Level_ me_ to the straw- haired Carls and Hermanns?
38586	Lightly.__ Inquirer._ How then am I inclined to view the mater?
38586	Loathing.__ Inquirer._ Mention of what makes all my family scoffers?
38586	Lubber.__ Inquirer._ What is the show of patience that may follow?
38586	May I''ave the pleasure?"]
38586	Nothing like a crowd for regular sprees, Ai n''t it fine to do a rush, and squeeze?
38586	Ocean.__ Inquirer._ How recommends she Ramsgate, shrimpy, sandy?
38586	Omen.__ Inquirer._ I fear for me they''ll prove a deal too clever?
38586	Roving.__ Inquirer._ What''s the first requisite for taking pleasure?
38586	Saint_ All Buns_ would be a good feast, eh, sir?
38586	Smithers._"Has Muggles"--(_a rival tradesman_)--"got a haspect?
38586	Smithers?"
38586	Sparrerkeets?
38586	That''s as plain as an''aystack, ai n''t it?"
38586	The Speaker or Lord''Igh Chancellor?"
38586	The country''s bad enough when it''s_ foine_, yn''t it, miss?"]
38586	Toobs on''appy''Amstid?
38586	What are they at now?
38586	What do_ you_ think?
38586	What ever can''ave made the corn turn so black?"]
38586	What is it, a waltz or a polka?
38586	What the devil should I buy a comb for?
38586	What''s that?"
38586	What''s up?
38586	When is your young man like a fish out of water?
38586	Where are we, old pal?
38586	Where''s the change out o''that bob I gave yer?"
38586	Where''s the_ life_ in long lanes, with no gas- lamps?
38586	Which is it to be?
38586	Which''ouse?
38586	Whichever''s to steer?
38586	Who shall say that in the very midst of the metropolis there is not abundant evidence of a truly rural, and a tooral- looral life?
38586	Who''s''e?"
38586	Why do n''t you sound the H?"
38586	Why, if I''ad twopence, wot''ud I be doin''standin''outside a public''ouse?"]
38586	Wo n''t the owner raise a tidy riot When he twigs our scraps and broken bottles?
38586	Wo n''t yer''ear me?
38586	Wonder if old snip would spring another?
38586	Wot is''unger?
38586	Wot yer gettin''at?
38586	Wot''s up?
38586	Wot''s''Appiness?
38586	Wot''ud yer sy if I told yer as I''d''took the shillin''?"
38586	Wot, Liz?
38586	Wot?
38586	Wy, wheer are we ter go, Liz, Ter git a breath of air?
38586	Yer''d like ter see''em come?
38586	Yer''d sell yer bloomin''birthright for a pot of''arf- an-''arf?
38586	You an''me''s got_ our_ notions of yum- yum, as is n''t fur wide o''the mark, But who''ll give us change for''em, Charlie?
38586	You do n''t see any hair on my head, do you?"
38586	You go to die out?
38586	You''ll promise to give me''am sandwiches always, when we''re married, wo n''t yer?"
38586	_ Bill._"_ Horstrich?_''Corse not.
38586	_ Cabby._"_ Queen_ Hanne''s Mansions, I suppose you mean, miss?"]
38586	_ Cockney._"Why, it ai n''t the fust of Hoctober?"]
38586	_ Country Friend._"Well, what of it?"
38586	_ Drop in any time you''re passin''!_"]*****''ARRY ON THE MERRY MONTH OF MAY DEAR CHARLIE,''Ow are yer, old Turmuts?
38586	_ Farmer''s Wife( who has told the new lad from London to collect eggs)._"Well, Jack, have you got many?"
38586	_ First Errand Boy( after the University Boat Race)._ Wot''ave yer got a light blue ribbon in yer button''ole for, Tommy?
38586	_ First seaside saddle polisher._"Wot cheer,''Arry?
38586	_ Hangelina._"Sy?
38586	_ Horsekeeper._"Well, you''ve got to leave''arf a crown on the''orse?"]
38586	_ Little''Arry( who has had a"bad day"--to driver of public coach)._"Ever lose any money backin''''orses, coachie?"
38586	_ Liza Ann._"Oo er yer callin''Emmer Smith?
38586	_ Master._"Rather a''igh''ill we''re comin''to, ai n''t it?"
38586	_ Nervous P._"Er-- rather a rough sort of thoroughfare, is n''t it?"
38586	_ Nervous Philanthropist( on a slumming excursion)._"Can you tell me if this is Little Erebus Street, my man?"
38586	_ Old Farmer Worsell( who is experimenting with unemployed from London)._"Now then, young feller,''ow long are you goin''to be with that''ere milk?"
38586	_ Old Lady._"You know the''Royal Oak''?
38586	_ Second C. C.( delicately sniffing)._"Indeed, Sir Pompey?
38586	_ Second Combatant._"''Ow can I?
38586	_ Second''Arry._"Openin''of a new''earer?
38586	_ Stout Coster._"Where are ye goin''to, Bill?"
38586	_ Sympathetic Friend( to sweeper)._"What''s the use o''arstin''_''i m_, Bill?
38586	_ Tom._ What yer calls a sparrerawk?
38586	_ Vulgar Parvenu( who is watching the interior decorations of his house)._"Do n''t you think that tapestry''eats the rooms?"
38586	_ Waiter._"Yessir-- dry, sir?"
38586	_"Self- made"Man( examining school, of which he is a manager)._"Now, boy, what''s the capital of''Olland?"
38586	_''Arry._ Wot''s the difference between Nelson and that cove in the chair?
38586	_''Arry._"Ai n''t ye comin''to see the''orse run for yer money?"
38586	_''Arry._"I s''y-- does one tip the witers''ere?"
38586	_''Arry._"Ow much an hour, guv''nor?"
38586	_''Arry._"Then wot are we going ter do, Bill?"]
38586	_''Arry._"Well,_ do n''t!_"]*****[ Illustration:"I beg your pardon, ma''am, but I think you dropped this?"]
38586	_''Enery._"''Ullo, Chawley?
38586	_( Tom exhibiting a tern which he has shot)._ I say,''Arry, wot bird''s this''ere?
38586	do n''t they goggle and look blue When you land them with a regular"do"?
38586	do n''t yer think we might swop misseses just for a few hours?
38586	if a chap_ has_ a way with the sex, what the doose can he do?
38586	what''s that?
45813	!--MY DEAR REBECCA, WHAT DREADFUL ODOUR IS THIS IN THE ROOM?"
45813	!--PRAY, ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THIS UNIVERSITY?"
45813	WHAT DID YOU DO?
45813	__ Railway Clerk._HAVE YOU GOT TWOPENCE, SIR?"
45813	''AVE YER CART DE VISIT DONE?"]
45813	''OW DY''E MEAN?"
45813	( a wicked Marquis)._"BUT HAVE YOU MADE ME FIERCE ENOUGH, CHARLES?"
45813	(_ Exit Guard overpowered._)][ Illustration:_ DEBATE ON THE NEW MINISTRY.__ Smike._"I SAY, BILL, HOW ABOUT THE DERBY THIS YEAR?"
45813	(_ No one near for miles._)][ Illustration:_ DINER À LA RUSSE.__ Host._"STAY, STEVENS-- WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THE SALMON?
45813	(_ Total collapse of Y. S._)][ Illustration:_ SEA- FISHING.__ Boatman._"DON''T YER FEEL ANYTHINK YET, SIR?
45813	)._"I SAY, THOMPSON, DO YOU THINK I SHALL EVER HAVE ANY WHISKERS?"
45813	)_"I BEG YOUR PARDON, MY LORD BISHOP, BUT MAY I JUST TROUBLE YE TO SHOW ME YOUR CERTIFICATE?"]
45813	--"OH, YES,"REPLIED TOM;"BUT HOW ABOUT THE BULL?"]
45813	1._"WA- AT-- ARE THEY A- GWOANG TO JOOMP THIS?"
45813	1854 178 What our Volunteers Ought Not to Do 1862 231 What''s the Matter with Him?
45813	1856 121 What Next?
45813	1858 234 Who would have Thought it?
45813	1859 114 What''s to be Done in July?
45813	1861 20 What we could Bear a Good Deal of 1863 204 What we Want to Know 1863 250 When Doctors Disagree,& c.,& c. 1844 234 Which is the Brute?
45813	A PRETTY SWEET!--DID IT GET INTO A CARRIAGE WITH A BREE- UTE?"]
45813	AIN''T IT, JACK?
45813	AND HOW OLD DO YOU THINK HE IS?"
45813	AND WHAT DO YOU FEED THE HORSES ON?"
45813	AND WHAT OSSES WAS YOU GOING TO RIDE THIS AFTERNOON?
45813	ANYHOW!_][ Illustration:_ THE RIDING- HAT QUESTION.__ Lucy._"NOW TELL ME, MARY, WHICH IS THE BEST?"
45813	ARE OUR WIVES, DAUGHTERS, AND DOMESTICS TO BE TORN TO PIECES BY FEROCIOUS MASTIFFS?
45813	ARE YOU GOING BY THIS TRAIN?"
45813	ARE YOU GOING TO STOP THERE TILL YOU GET_ FINE_, AFORE YOU_ DRAW YOURSELF OFF_?"]
45813	AS IT''S A FINE DAY, YOU''LL SIT ON THE BEACH AND READ THE PAPER COMFORTABLY, WILL YOU?
45813	BROUGHT UP.__ First Juvenile._"MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF DANCING WITH YOU, MISS ALICE?"
45813	Blank._"WHY, WHAT DO YER MEAN?
45813	Bristles._"THEN YOU REALLY THINK IT AN IMPROVEMENT, EH?"
45813	CAN I GET ANYTHING ELSE FOR YOU?
45813	CATTLE OR DOG SHOW?"]
45813	Colley Wobble._"H''M, SO THEY ARE GOING TO TAX PEOPLE WHO MAKE THEIR OWN BEER, ARE THEY?
45813	DID YOU FELLOWS SEE IT?
45813	DO YOU S''POSE MY GOV''N''R GIVES ME BOARD WAGES TO TELL WHO BELONGS TO US?"]
45813	DOING A BIT O''PARK, EH?"
45813	DON''T YOU HEAR YOUR LIBERY BELL A- RINGING?"
45813	EH, POLLY?"
45813	EH?
45813	EH?
45813	EH?"
45813	EH?"
45813	Ensign._"AW-- BORE THAT-- CAN''T TAKE ME, I SUPPOSE?
45813	FRIGHTFUL SCENE IN KENSINGTON GARDENS!_ SHALL OUR PRIVACY BE INVADED?
45813	Green._"BUT AIN''T HIS LEGS A LITTLE TOO THIN FOR HIS BODY?"
45813	HAVE YOU HAD PRETTY GOOD SPORT?"
45813	HAVE YOU NO CONVERSATION?"]
45813	HAVE YOU SEEN A FRIEND OF MINE WAITING ABOUT HE- AW?"
45813	HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ORDER ABOUT REDUCING THE OFFICERS''WHISKERS AT ALDERSHOT?
45813	HAVEN''T YOU MEN GOT AN UMBRELLA OUTSIDE?"
45813	HOW BE YOU TO- DAY?"
45813	HOW DID YOU LIKE HIM?"
45813	HOW MANY SACKS O''PERTATERS AND HOGSHEADS O''SUGAR''AVE YER GOT THERE?"]
45813	HOW MUCH LONGER ARE YOU GOING TO SIT UP WITH THAT''WOMAN IN WHITE''?"]
45813	HOW THE DOOCE DID YOU COME TO THIS?"
45813	Have A weed?"]
45813	IF I-- HAW-- TOOK A QUANTITY OF THESE THINGS, WOULD THEY-- HAW-- BE CHEAPAW?"
45813	IS THAT YOU, JIM?
45813	IS THERE ANY OTHER ARTICLE?"]
45813	IS THERE ANYTHING I''LL DO FOR- R- R YE WHILE YE''RE AWAY?
45813	ISN''T BESSIE TRAVERS A STUNNING GIRL?"
45813	ISN''T IT ODD?"]
45813	ISN''T MR. BLANQUE A WICKED MAN?"
45813	ISN''T THERE A GREAT BLACK ON MY NOSE?"]
45813	It''s the Cookery Book._)][ Illustration:_ MISTAKING A TITLE.__ Constance( literary)._"HAVE YOU READ THIS ACCOUNT OF''THE MILL ON THE FLOSS,''DEAR?"
45813	JOLLY THING TO STICK INTO A FELLOW, EH?"
45813	LITTLE BAY''OSS, AND A BROWN''OSS WITH A BIG KNEE?
45813	LOOK HERE, ROBERT, WILL YOU HAVE THIS WITH YOU IN THE CARRIAGE, OR SHALL I PUT IT INTO THE VAN?"]
45813	NO, WEALLY?
45813	NOT IF I BITE OFF THE END?"]
45813	PRAY ARE YOU IN THE TRADE?"
45813	PRAY, ARE YOU AWARE WHAT A RIDICULOUS OBJECT YOU ARE?"]
45813	READ HIMSELF ASLEEP-- GEOGRAPHY NOW, OR SOMETHING OF THAT SORT, I''LL BE BOUND?"
45813	REGINALD, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN ABOUT?"
45813	S._"MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF WALTZING WITH YOU, MISS JONES?"
45813	SEVERE AIN''T IT?
45813	SHALL OUR CHILDREN BE RIDDEN DOWN BY A BLOODTHIRSTY AND A BLOATED ARISTOCRACY?
45813	T.( to T.)_"FEEL A LITTLE MORE COMFORTABLE, DEAR?
45813	T.( to T., who has been reading the popular novel)._"PRAY, MR. TOMKINS, ARE YOU NEVER COMING UP- STAIRS?
45813	THAT''S ALL VERY WELL-- BUT NOT WITH THE COUNTRY(?)
45813	THAT''S COMING IT RATHER STRONG, AIN''T IT?"
45813	THE FOLLOWING ORDER:--T. N. 1 HIS HORSE 2][ Illustration:_ A PLEASANT PROSPECT.__ Little T. N._"SHALL YOU TAKE A SINGLE, OR RETURN?"
45813	THIS IS THE PLACE WHERE THE BIG TROUT ARE, IS IT?
45813	The Boldness of some People 1861 27 Well Timed 1864 135 We should Think it Did 1860 82 What is it?
45813	WASN''T IT?"
45813	WASN''T THAT MAJOR DE VERE WHO JUST LEFT YOU?"
45813	WATHER A DITHPLAY OF FIGGER-- EH?"]
45813	WHAT ARE YOU DRIVING LIKE THAT, FOR?
45813	WHAT BETTER ORNAMENT CAN I HAVE THAN YOUR OWN SWEET SELF?"
45813	WHAT DOES IT MATTER TO YOU, SIR, WHETHER I''M SINGLE OR NOT?
45813	WHAT MAKES YOU ASK SUCH A QUESTION?"
45813	WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?"
45813	WHAT SORT OF GENTLEMAN WAS HE?"
45813	WHAT THE DEUCE!--I SAY-- WHAT AM I TO DO WITH THESE HA''PENCE, YOU KNOW?"]
45813	WHAT''S ALL THIS''ERE?"
45813	WHAT''S THE MEANING OF THIS?
45813	WHICH WAY HAVE THEY GONE?"
45813	WHO''S CAB''S THIS?"
45813	WHY DON''T THE GUARD TURN OUT?"
45813	WHY DON''T YOU TAKE ME OFF?
45813	WHY HOW MANY MILES DO YOU CALL IT FROM TEMPLE BAR TO THE BANK?"
45813	WHY!--EH!--WHAT THE DEUCE--?"
45813	WHY, WHAT HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE?"
45813	WHY, WHAT''S A FELLAH TO DO FOR THREE HOURS?"]
45813	WHY, WHERE''S THE CARPET BAG I LEFT IN THE PASSAGE?"
45813	WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR CIGAR- CASE NOW?
45813	Where''s your manners?
45813	XIV.__ Lady._"THEN, WHY DID YOU LEAVE?"
45813	[ Illustration:"_ BY YOUR LEAVE!_"_ Porter._"NOW, MARM, WILL YOU PLEASE TO MOVE, OR WAS YOU CORDED TO YOUR BOX?"]
45813	[ Illustration:_ A CONTENTED MIND.__ Old Wurzel._"WELL, MUSTER CHAWLES, SO YOU''VE BEEN A RIDING THE YOUNG UN.--HOW DOES HE GO?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A DEAL.__ Novice._"OH, YES-- HE''S A FINE HORSE; BUT ISN''T HE RATHER BENT ABOUT THE LEGS?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A DIFFERENCE IN OPINION.__ Boy._"Is n''t it very naughty of papa to tell stories?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A DRAWING- ROOM.__ William._"NOW, CHAWLES, AIN''T YOU READY?
45813	[ Illustration:_ A FACETIOUS INFERENCE.__ Sarcastic Peeler._"GOING TO''AVE A NEW''ORSE, THEN, CABBY?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A FINE POLISH._][ Illustration:_ CONSOLING FOR CONSOLS.__ Young Hardman._"GOING TO DINGLEY CROSS ROADS?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A HORSEDEALER''S LOGIC.__ Customer._"WHY, YOU DON''T CALL_ THAT_ A HUNTER, DO YOU?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A KNOWING ANIMAL._"THE CHESTNUT HAS SURELY BOLTED, JOE?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A MERE TRIFLE.__ Gertrude._"BUT, MY DEAR ARTHUR, HOW CAME YOU TO GET SUCH A''CROPPER,''AS YOU CALL IT?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A POSER.__ Precocious Pupil._"PLEASE, MISS JONES, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF SUBURBS?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A PROBABILITY--"HOLD YOUR ZEBRA, SIR?
45813	[ Illustration:_ A REAL TREASURE.__ Paterfamilias( suddenly arrived in Town)._"GOOD GRACIOUS, MRS. WILKINS, WHY DIDN''T YOU FORWARD THESE LETTERS?
45813	[ Illustration:_ A SIGN OF PROGRESS.__ Cousin Florence._"WELL, TOMMY, AND SO YOU LIKE YOUR LITTLE FRIEND PHILIP, DO YOU?
45813	[ Illustration:_ A SKETCH ON THE DOWNS.__ Jolly Post Boy of the Period._"I SAY, BILL, DON''T YER WISH IT WAS DARBY DAY ALL THE YEAR ROUND?"]
45813	[ Illustration:_ A STREET FIGHT.__ Wife of his Bussum( to Vanquished Hero)._"TERENCE, YE GREAT UMMADAWN, WHAT DO YER GIT INTO THIS THRUBBLE FOR?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A TERRIBLE THREAT.__ Master Jack._"NOW THEN, CHARLOTTE, ARE YOU GOING TO LEND ME YOUR PAINT BOX?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ A WORD TO THE WISE.__ Discerning Child( who has heard some remarks made by Papa)._"ARE YOU OUR NEW NURSE?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ AN INCIDENT OF TRAVEL.__ Railway Guard( as it is getting dark)._"WOULD YOU LIKE A LIGHT IN THIS CARRIAGE, SIR?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ ANXIOUS TO PRESERVE OUR FIGURE, WE TAKE A TURKISH BATH!_][ Illustration:_ HOW TO BOTHER CABBY.__ Fare._"HOW MUCH?
45813	[ Illustration:_ AWKWARD FOR PAPA.__ Papa._"WELL, MY DEAR, DID YOU TELL MAMMA THAT MISS MYRTLE WAS WAITING TO SEE HER?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ BY THE FAST TRAIN.__ Railway Porter._"ANY LUGGAGE, MISS?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ CANINE.__ Patron._"WELL, BUT YOU DON''T MEAN TO SAY THAT SUCH A DAWG AS THAT COULD DRAW A BADGER?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ CRICKET-- THE PRIDE OF THE VILLAGE._"GOOD MATCH, OLD FELLOW?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ DINING UNDER DIFFICULTIES._][ Illustration:_ EMPHATIC.__ Boy( to Nurse)._"WHAT DID YOU SAY''MADE HER ILL''?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ DISSENTERS IN THE UNIVERSITY.__ Head of House._"PRAY, SIR, MAY I ASK WHY YOU HAVE NOT BEEN ATTENDING CHAPEL?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ END OF A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY._][ Illustration:_ A SHORT CUT THROUGH THE WOOD.__ Sporting Gent._"''OUNDS BEEN THROUGH HERE, OLD MAN?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ EXPRESS.__ Old Gent._"THIS OSCILLATION IS VERY UNUSUAL, SIR, ISN''T IT?
45813	[ Illustration:_ FLUNKEIANA.__ French Maid._"YOU LIKE A-- ZE-- SEA- SIDE, M''SIEUR JEAN THOMAS?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ GROUNDLESS ALARM.__ Darling( in straw hat)._"WHAT ARE YOU BUYING, DEAR?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ HORRID GIRL!__ Mild Youth._"HAVE YOU SEEN''THE COLLEEN BAWN''?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ JUMPING TO A CONCLUSION__ Inquiring Youth._"PLEASE, MAMMA, WHY IS UNCLE''S HORSE CALLED A COB?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ LADY AUDLEY''S SECRET._][ Illustration:_ A HOPEFUL PROSPECT.__ Clara._"WHAT DOES TOMMY THINK?
45813	[ Illustration:_ LONDON CREAM.__ Cook._"DO YOU CALL THIS CREAM?
45813	[ Illustration:_ MOST OFFENSIVE.__ Railway Porter._"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, WAS THIS YOUR''N?"]
45813	[ Illustration:_ NOT SUCH A BAD THING IN A SHOWER._][ Illustration:_ A WICKET PROCEEDING.__ Georgina._"WHY, WHAT''S THE MATTER WITH MY LITTLE POPPET?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ POOR COUSIN CHARLES!__ Juvenile._"WHY DO THEY CALL THOSE THINGS COUSIN CHARLES SMOKES CIGARETTES?
45813	[ Illustration:_ RATHER KEEN._"OUT AGAIN, JACK?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ RATHER VULGAR, BUT PERFECTLY TRUE.__ Boatman( in the distance)._"I SAY, JACK, GOT A MOSSEL O''BAIT TO SPARE?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ READY WHEN WANTED OUR MILITIA VOLUNTEERS._][ Illustration:_ IMPUDENCE.__ Old Gent._"HOW MUCH?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ RESOURCES OF THE ESTABLISHMENT.__ Old Tourist._"PRAY, WAITER, IS THERE ANYTHING TO WILE AWAY THE TIME UNTIL THE DINNER- HOUR?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ SCENE ON A BRIDGE IN PARIS._ NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MATTER HERE?
45813	[ Illustration:_ SINGULAR OPTICAL DELUSION.__ Gentleman._"THERE, LOVE: DO YOU SEE THAT STEAMER?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ SNOOKS HAS JOINED A RIFLE CORPS.__ Snooks._"SPLENDID CREECHUR-- AIN''T HE?
45813	[ Illustration:_ SOME MORE FOREIGN VISITORS._ WHO CAN THEY BE?
45813	[ Illustration:_ SPORT(?)
45813	[ Illustration:_ THE COURTESIES OF TRAVEL.__ Juvenile._"DO YOU OBJECT TO MY SMOKING A CIGAR, SIR?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ THE DOG- DAYS!__ 1st Fancier._"NOW ISN''T HE, GEORGIE!--FOR BREED AND SHAPE AND MAKE, THE MOST LOVELY LITTLE CREATURE?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ THE INVALID.__ Master._"WELL, SAUNDERS, I SEE YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO DO MUCH WITH THE OLD SOW, AFTER ALL?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ THE LATEST FAST THING.__ Constance._"OH, ISN''T IT AWFULLY JOLLY?
45813	[ Illustration:_ THE LINGUIST.__ Archy._"I SAY, JESSIE, DO YOU UNDERSTAND FRENCH?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ THE LOWEST DEPTH.__ Inebriated Snob( to party with paper lamp)._"WHICH IS THE WAY-- TO-- TO-- THE P-- P-- POSES PLASTIQUES?
45813	[ Illustration:_ THE VOLUNTEER REVIEW.__ Policeman( who, we are bound to say, is extremely civil)._"WHITE TICKET, MA''AM?
45813	[ Illustration:_ TOO BAD.__ Professor Pumper._"MAY I ASK, MISS BLANK, WHY YOU ARE MAKING THOSE LITTLE PELLETS?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ TOO CLEVER BY HALF!__ First Boy._"ARE YOU IN A HURRY WITH THAT LETTER, BILL?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ TRAVELLERS''LUGGAGE.__ Elderly Passenger._"GOING OUT FISHING, I PRESUME, YOUNG GENTLEMAN?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ VERY SLANGY.__ Clara._"HOW DO YOU LIKE MY NEW WAISTCOAT, DEAR?"
45813	[ Illustration:_ WELL(?)
45813	[ Illustration:_ WHAT NEXT?_ THE LATEST IMPROVEMENT(?)
45813	[ Illustration:_ WHAT NEXT?_ THE LATEST IMPROVEMENT(?)
45813	[ Illustration:_ WHAT''S TO BE DONE IN JULY?_ WHAT''S TO BE DONE IN JULY?
45813	[ Illustration:_ WHAT''S TO BE DONE IN JULY?_ WHAT''S TO BE DONE IN JULY?
45813	[ Illustration:_ WHICH IS THE BRUTE?_ UPON ONE OF THESE CREATURES MR. RAREY''S METHOD CAN MAKE NO IMPRESSION.]
45813	[ Illustration:_ YOUNG AMERICA._][ Illustration:_ A FRESHENER ON THE DOWNS._][ Illustration:_ WHAT IS IT?__ First Boy( loq.
45813	[ Illustration:_ YOUNG ENGLAND.__ Henry._"I SAY, CHARLEY, WHERE DO YOU DINE TO- NIGHT?"
45813	_ Arthur._"AND DID THEY WALK IN THE PARK AND GO TO CHURCH SO?"]
45813	_ Baker._"WHY DON''T THEY TAKE HIM TO THE STATION?"
45813	_ Boy._"NO, SIR, I JIST SPEKILATED, AND BOUGHT''IM OF T''OTHER BOY FOR A HARPENNY?"]
45813	_ Boy._"WHAT ODDS IS THAT TO YOU?
45813	_ Butler._"PRAY, SIR, WHAT ARE WE TO HAVE FOR SUPPER?"]
45813	_ Cabby._"AIN''T YER, SIR?
45813	_ Cabman( insinuatingly)._"WASN''T IT, MISS?
45813	_ Clerk._"ARE YOU ABOVE THIRTEEN?"
45813	_ Clerk._"SINGLE?"
45813	_ Cousins._"WHY, WHAT HAS HAPPENED, GUS?"
45813	_ Critic._"HOW SO?"
45813	_ Dealer._"BENT ABOUT THE LEGS?
45813	_ Dear Kitty._"OH, AUNTY, IF IT''S A TROUBLE, WHY DON''T YOU PUT KITTY''S HAIR IN YOUR DRAWER, JUST AS YOU DO WITH YOUR OWN?"]
45813	_ Driver._"BUTTER- TUBS-- DON''T YER SEE THE HOOPS?"]
45813	_ Echo._"DON''T YOU WISH YOU MAY GET HIM?"]
45813	_ Fancier._"NOT DRAW A BADGER?
45813	_ Field Officer of the Day._"AND WHO THE DEUCE ARE YOU?"
45813	_ Green(?)
45813	_ Hotel Keeper( faintly)._"OH, HOW SHOULD I KNOW?
45813	_ Inquiring Youth._"WHAT, LIKE YOU, MAMMA?"]
45813	_ Jessie._"A LITTLE-- DO YOU?"
45813	_ Johnny( quick, but impudent)._"THEN WHY DO YOU COME OUT WITH YOUR HOOP?"]
45813	_ Juvenile._"OH THEN, WOULD COUSIN CHARLES BE CALLED A CAPTAINETTE, BECAUSE HE''S A LITTLE CAPTAIN?"
45813	_ Lady._"THEN I SUPPOSE YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF PERFECTLY COMPETENT TO HEAR THE CHILDREN THEIR LESSONS, SHOULD THEY STAY AWAY FROM SCHOOL ANY DAY?"
45813	_ Mamma._"Well, dear, it would be-- but what do you mean?"
45813	_ Mary._"DID YOU CALL, MUM?"
45813	_ Military Swell._"NO, I''M NOT, OLD FELLOW.--ARE YOU?"]
45813	_ Mr Bool._"SO I AM, MOSSOO-- AND THESE ARE SOME OF THE BOYS WHO MIND THE SHOP!--COMPRENNY?"]
45813	_ Papa._"AND WHAT DID SHE SAY?"
45813	_ Pupil( seizing Miss J. by the dress)._"THEN, MISS JONES, ARE THESE_ YOUR_ SUBURBS?"]
45813	_ Sporting Gent._"''OW LONG?"
45813	_ Steady Man._"AND PRAY WHAT DO YOU UNDERSTAND BY THAT?"
45813	_ Stirrups( the Party who looks after the Horse and Chaise)._"YES, MUM; BUT BE OI TO DRINK IT?"
45813	_ Susan._"WHERE''S THAT, IMPERANCE?"
45813	_ T._"WELL, THEN-- WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO KICK UP SUCH A ROW WHEN I STOP OUT LATE OF A SATURDAY?"]
45813	_ Tommy._"HAVE I, THOUGH?
45813	_ Tummas._"PRETTY THING, AIN''T IT?
45813	_ Vanquished Hero( to Wife of his Bussum)._"D''YE CALL IT THRUBBLE, NOW?
45813	_ Waiter._"YESSIR; WHICH WOULD YOU PLEASE TO TAKE, SIR?--_WINE_ OR_ SPIRITS_, SIR?"]
33918	And in what particular ceremony were they engaged once a year?
33918	Are''maginations white behind?
33918	Bottom bell but one, four times, my boy?
33918	But there are n''t_ really_ such animals, nurse, are there?]
33918	But, my dear Nora, you do n''t surely propose to go without your shoes and stockings?
33918	Can you tell me anything peculiar about the cuckoo, in regard to nesting?
33918	Do you take sugar, darling?
33918	Hallo, missus, wot are those?
33918	How long ago, auntie dear?
33918	I suppose, mother, it does n''t mention_ which_ half of the poor thing we are to look for?]
33918	Mother, I hope we shall never be rich?
33918	Now, what are the principal things that are obtained from the earth?
33918	Oh, Molly, do n''t you know who it is puts such wicked thoughts into your head?
33918	Oh, mother, how_ will_ Santa Claus do about that poor man''s stockings?]
33918	Then may I say I''m not at home when Miss Krux calls to- morrow? 33918 Well, Tommy, how are you getting on at school?"
33918	Well, now, what causes heat without light?
33918	Well, then, ca n''t you read?
33918	What''s she crying for?
33918	Whatever_ are_ you children doing?
33918	When did you begin, then?]
33918	When will_ I_ be old enough, mummy, to have holes made in_ my_ head to keep my hat on?]
33918	Who signed Magna Charta?
33918	Who signed Magna Charta?
33918	Who signed Magna Charta?
33918	Why, darling?
33918	_ Surely_ you''ve eaten enough, have n''t you, Tommy?
33918	''Ow am I to cry then?"]
33918	(_ Emphasising question_)"Anti- bilious?"
33918	(_ Pause._)"Mummy, I mean----"_ Mamma._"When Sir Fusby Dodderidge called?
33918	(_ To children._) What is a Red Indian''s wife called?
33918	***** A CONSCIENTIOUS CHILD.--"Is your cold better this morning, darling?"
33918	***** A LITTLE KNOWLEDGE.--_Daisy_(_ who has been studying Chrysanthemums_).--Maisy, do you know what''s a_ Double Begonia_?
33918	***** A LITTLE LEARNING.--_Teacher._ And who was Joan of Arc?
33918	***** A SCIENTIFIC NURSERY DEFINITION.--_Little Algy Muffin._ What''s the meaning of bric- à- brac, that mamma was talking about to Colonel Crumpet?
33918	***** ADDING INSULT TO INJURY.--"Mamma,_ is n''t_ it very wicked to do behind one''s back what one would n''t do before one''s face?"
33918	***** AT THE BOARD SCHOOL.--_Inspector._ Now, can any of you children state what is likely to be the future of China?
33918	***** AT THE SUNDAY SCHOOL--_Teacher._ Now, Mary Brown, you understand what is meant by baptism?
33918	***** COMPREHENSIVE.--_Preceptor._ Now, can any of you tell me anything remarkable in the life of Moses?
33918	***** CONFUSED ASSOCIATIONS.--"And where did these Druids live, Tommy?"
33918	***** ENGLISH HISTORY.--"And who was the king who had so many wives?"
33918	***** IMPROVING THE SHINING HOUR.--_The new Governess._ What are the comparative and superlative of_ bad_, Berty?
33918	***** INADEQUATE HOSPITALITY.--"Well, Guy, did you enjoy the party?"
33918	***** NATURE''S LOGIC.--_Papa._ How is it, Alice, that_ you_ never get a prize at school?
33918	***** PHYSICS.--"Now, George, before you go and play, are you quite sure you know the lesson Professor Borax gave you to learn?"
33918	***** READY ANSWER.--_Uncle._ Now, how did the mother of Moses hide him?
33918	***** ROGUES FALLING OUT.--_Mamma._ What is baby crying for, Maggie?
33918	***** SUNDAY SCHOOLING.--_Teacher._ What does one mean by"Heaping coals of fire on someone''s head"now, Harry Hawkins?
33918	***** THE EVIDENCE OF THE SENSES.--_Mamma._ How_ dare_ you slap your sister, George?
33918	***** THE FORCE OF CLASSIC TEACHING.--_Master._ Now, boys, what is Hexham famous for?
33918	*****[ Illustration: A BIG PILL.--"What is it, my pet?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: A CANDID INQUIRER"I say, John, is there anything I have n''t tasted?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: A PROTEST"And pray, am I_ never_ to be naughty, Miss Grimm?"]
33918	*****[ Illustration: A QUESTION OF HEREDITY_ Hal._"Is there anything the matter with this egg, Martha?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: A Toothsome Morsel.--_ Distracted Nurse._"Gracious, children, what_ are_ you doing?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: BEFORE THE HEAD_ Fourth Form Boy( with recollections of a recent visit to the dentist)._"Please, sir, may I-- may I-- have gas?"]
33918	*****[ Illustration: BETWEEN THE ACTS_ Governess._"Well, Marjorie, have you done crying?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: EXPERIENTIA DOCET"And are_ you_ going to give me something for my birthday, aunty Maud?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: INCONTROVERTIBLE"And how_ old_ are you, my little man?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: INDUCTION"Is this the_ new_ baby, daddy?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: ON THE FACE OF IT_ Pretty Teacher._"Now, Johnny Wells, can you tell me what is meant by a miracle?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: OVERHEARD IN BOND STREET"Which of''em would yer''ave for a muvver, Billy?"]
33918	*****[ Illustration: QUESTION AND ANSWER_ Mamma._"Who was the first man,''Lina?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: RUDIMENTS OF ECONOMY"May I_ leave_ this piece of bread, nurse?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: SENSIBLE CHILD.--"Well, Jacky, and did you hang up your stocking for Santa Claus to fill?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: THE CHILD OF THE PERIOD"Why did that policeman touch his hat to you, aunty?
33918	*****[ Illustration: THE JOYS OF ANTICIPATION.--"When are you coming out with me, mummy?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: THEIR FIRST VISIT TO THE ZOO_ Tommy._"Them ai n''t donkeys, Billy?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: UNIMAGINATIVE_ Auntie._"Do you see the hair in this old brooch, Cyril?
33918	*****[ Illustration: UTILE CUM DULCI_ Arry._"Ai n''t yer comin''along with me, Bill?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: VERY NATURAL.--"Vell, and vat to you sink tit happen to me at Matame Tussaud''s de oder tay?
33918	*****[ Illustration: WELL BROUGHT UP.--"Now then, my little men, did n''t you see that board on that tree?"
33918	*****[ Illustration: WELL UP IN HER MYTHOLOGY.--_Tommy._"Madge, what''s''_ necessitas_,''masculine or feminine?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:"Did our hat- rack walk about and have only two pegs, once, auntie?"]
33918	*****[ Illustration:"SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE,"& c.--_Ethel._"Mummy dear, why did you tell Richard you''were n''t at home''just now?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:"WELL OUT OF IT"_ Uncle._"And you love your enemies, Ethel?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Auntie._"Do you know you are playing with two very naughty little boys, Johnny?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Chemist._"Pills, eh?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Grandmamma._"And how did it happen, dear?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Hostess._"What would you like to eat, Effie?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Lady._"Have you lost yourself, little boy?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Little Boy._"How many steps can you jump, grandma?
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Mother._"Now, dear, why do n''t you run away and give grandpa a kiss?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Old Gent._"Do you know what a lie is, sir?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Old Gent._"Is it a_ board school_ you go to, my dear?"
33918	*****[ Illustration:_ Porter._"Why is the little girl crying, missie?"
33918	*****_ Auntie._ Do you love the chickens, dear?
33918	*****_ Auntie._ Well, Effie, did you enjoy your party last night?
33918	*****_ Mother._ Well, Dorothy, would you like your egg poached or boiled?
33918	--"Auntie, ought Bertie Wilson to have_ smiled_ so often at me in church?"
33918	--_Grace._ Harold, why did pa call that Mr. Blowhard a liar?
33918	--_Uncle._"Well, Tommy, you see I''m back; are you ready?
33918	Ach, vy?"
33918	And how often have I told you not to say"beastly"?
33918	And was it in the Chamber of Horrors?"]
33918	And was the Queen weally named after me?
33918	And was the little boy allowed to_ eat_ the apple afterwards?
33918	And what profession do you mean to choose?"
33918	And what was he like, eh?"
33918	And who was the first woman?"
33918	Are n''t you ashamed of yourself for being a little liar?"
33918	Are n''t you glad I was n''t twins, mummy?
33918	Are you a chemist?
33918	Are you not ill?"
33918	Are you sure he''s not getting hurt?
33918	At last a boy volunteers._) Well, my boy?
33918	Between ourselves, now, have you any choice?"
33918	But are n''t they rare?
33918	But are you and ces demoiselles going to dine viz de compagnie?"
33918	Can_ you_, auntie?
33918	D''ye tike me for a canary?
33918	D._ Do n''t you?
33918	D._ Have you got a shop with lovely large, coloured bottles in the window?
33918	Did n''t you want it yourself?
33918	Do n''t most people tell you so?
33918	Do n''t you know it''s very cruel?"
33918	Do n''t you know the difference between a_ window_ and a_ widow_?"
33918	Does your governess get ill on mince pies?
33918	Dot, got a new doll?
33918	Even before_ you_ were born, auntie?"]
33918	Had n''t I?"]
33918	Has goosegogs got legs?
33918	Has he bitten you?"
33918	Has mamma been telling you she''d give you''_ a lovely spoonful of delicious currant jelly, O so nice, so VERY nice_''?"
33918	Have I?"]
33918	Have n''t you some nice message to send her?"
33918	Have you got one as well as nurse?"]
33918	Have you-- er-- been to many parties?
33918	He calls him"Sir"--is Punch_ really_ a gentleman?
33918	Honeybun._ Is that Tommy underneath?
33918	How dare you tell such stories?
33918	How did that happen?
33918	I say,_ did_ you hear what the clown said then?
33918	I-- er-- you would rather stop?
33918	If----?"
33918	Is it a tooth?"
33918	Is n''t it a beastly shame?
33918	Is n''t it, Uncle Fred?"
33918	Is that true?"
33918	Is that why it''s so long?"]
33918	Kids?"
33918	Mamma, have all the angels been to Drury Lane to- night?
33918	Mother, will you read me the text out of my cracker?...
33918	Now, boys-- ah-- can any of you tell me what commandment Adam broke when he took the forbidden fruit?
33918	Old Bachelor Guest_(_ violently awakened out of his morning snooze._)"Who''sh there?"
33918	Ought she to sit so near the fire?"
33918	P._ Why not, my dear?
33918	Pefore tinner?
33918	Please, will everybody keep quite quiet for a minute or two; I have n''t said my grace.... Do n''t you think it''s unfair of nurse?
33918	Pup?"
33918	Say,''pa, what''s a v''cab''lary?
33918	Shall I be allowed to keep the whip after, mammy?
33918	Shall you go to the pantomime this year?
33918	So will you give it me to- morrow?"
33918	Then I suppose you do n''t sell Jones''s Jubilee Cough Jujubes?
33918	Then would the chicken that came out of it be a little mad?"]
33918	There''s generally a good deal going on just now, is n''t there?
33918	Tovey?"
33918	Was it Mr. Jones, or Mr. David Jones, or Mr. Griffith Jones, whom you met?
33918	What are the four seasons of the year, Phyllis?
33918	What are they reading about?
33918	What are they?
33918	What do you mean by bullying that little girl?
33918	What do you mean?
33918	What does it mean when a clergyman wears gaiters?"
33918	What have I to pay for, miss?"
33918	What have you been doing?"
33918	What have you got that string tied on that fowl''s leg for?"
33918	What is it?"
33918	What is the word you''ve forgotten?
33918	What will_ papa_ say when he comes home?"
33918	What wound?"
33918	What''s for supper?''"
33918	What''s the matter, my pet?
33918	Where was he sitting?"
33918	Where_ have_ you been?"
33918	Which is the most, mother?
33918	Why do n''t you play with good little boys?"
33918	Why?
33918	Why?
33918	Will you have plum or seed?
33918	Will you have some more bread- and- butter?
33918	Would n''t I?
33918	[_ Auntie, who was about to enter, quickly and quietly retires._]*****[ Illustration:"What are you doing in that cupboard, Cyril?"
33918	[_ Class dismissed immediately._*****[ Illustration: AN INNOCENT HINT_ Auntie._"What is Nellie''s nose for?"
33918	[_ Conference broken up by arrival of the lady in question._*****[ Illustration: WHAT IS IT?
33918	_ A Puzzled Child._ Mother, why is the man at the side so_ polite_ to Punch?
33918	_ Auntie._ And I suppose mamma was there to look after you?
33918	_ Auntie._"And what are Nellie''s ears for?"
33918	_ Auntie._"And what is Nellie''s mouth for?"
33918	_ Boy._"Well, then, can we sing yer some Christmas carols instead?"]
33918	_ Brown Minimus._ Please sir, I''d eat it before they asked for it?
33918	_ Did_ you hear that?
33918	_ Effie._"Why?"
33918	_ Ethel._ But do n''t you like Scott?
33918	_ Father._ A vocabulary, my boy-- what d''you want to know that for?
33918	_ Father._"Were you?
33918	_ Geoffrey._"Oh!----does mummy know?"]
33918	_ Hester._ That is n''t as jolly as the pantomime, is it?
33918	_ Humorous Little Boy._"Plea''sir, will you ring the bottom bell but one, four times, sir?"
33918	_ Inspector._ What is a Red Indian''s baby called?
33918	_ Interested Little Boy._"Oh, and which did you shoot first-- the lion, or the tiger, or the d''lemma?"]
33918	_ Is there such a thing as a bun in the house?_"]*****[ Illustration: THE FESTIVE SEASON.--_Tommy_(_ criticising the menu of the coming feast_).
33918	_ Just!_"]*****[ Illustration:"_ Please_, auntie,_ may_ I have the fairy off the Christmas tree--_if I do n''t ask you for it_?"]
33918	_ Kitty._"Oh, Mr. Softly, is that why you stutter?"]
33918	_ Lady._"How many lumps?"
33918	_ Maisy_(_ who has been studying the Classics_).--"Double Big- onia"?
33918	_ Mamma._ And that your friend, Louisa Sharp, gets so many?
33918	_ Mamma._ And what are_ you_ looking so''ndignant about?
33918	_ Mamma._ No, darling?
33918	_ Mamma._ Where did she hurt you?
33918	_ Mamma._"Already?
33918	_ Mamma._"Give you what, dear?"
33918	_ Mamma._"Well, what''s the matter with_ you_, Jack?"
33918	_ Mamma._"Why?"
33918	_ Marjory._"Yes, granpa''; but"--(_hesitating_)--"I do n''t fink_ one_ lock would be enough, would it?"]
33918	_ Messenger._"_ Wiv our comb, sir!_"]*****[ Illustration: A FATAL OBJECTION"Mother, are the Wondergilts very rich?"
33918	_ Mother._"That horrid boy at the farm?
33918	_ Mother._"What_ do_ you mean?"
33918	_ Now_ will you be good?
33918	_ Samuel._"Muvver, does a hen lay an egg when it_ likes_ or_ must_ it?"]
33918	_ She''s my Sweetheart!_"]*****[ Illustration:_ Grandpapa._"Well little lady, will you give me a lock of that pretty hair of yours?"
33918	_ Tommy._"Is n''t it Sunday in the back garden, mamma?"]
33918	_ Tommy._"Mummy, dear, do the angels say''dam''when a string breaks?"]
33918	_ Tommy._"Talking of riddles, Uncle, do you know the difference between an apple and a elephant?"
33918	_ Tommy._"Why?"
33918	_ Tommy._"You''d be a smart chap to send out to buy apples, would n''t you?"]
33918	_ Uncle._"And who are your enemies, dear?"
33918	_ Vicar''s Daughter._"If----?
33918	dear me, what_ are_ they doing?
33918	for_ she_ bores_ me_ awfully?"]
33918	what shall I do?
33918	wo n''t I?
33918	wot''s the trouble?
50428	********--YOU GREAT FOOL, WHAT THE DEUCE DO YOU STAND POINTING THERE FOR?--WHY DON''T YOU HOLLER OUT WHICH WAY THE FOX BE GONE? 50428 A LITTLE DARLING, AIN''T HE?"
50428	ANY FEESH TO- DAY, MARM?--ANY MACKEREEL, SOLES, OR WHITING?]
50428	AW, HAIRDRESSER, WHEN YOU''VE FINISHED MY HAIR, JUST TAKE OFF MY BEARD, WILL YOU?]
50428	CAN I HAVE A MACHINE NOW?
50428	HESPLANADE!--WHERE BE YOU?
50428	I BEG YOUR PARDON, SIR, BUT YOU DON''T''APPEN TO''AV= ANOTHER= CAMEL AS YOU WANT TO DISPOSE OF?]
50428	IS THERE A FOOTMAN KEP? 50428 NO, VAT IS IT?"
50428	OH!--DON''T YOU THINK, MA, I HAD BETTER GO TO SCHOOL?]
50428	REALLY, NOW, AND SO YOU HAVE BEEN INITIATED, AND IT''S ALL RIGHT, EH? 50428 SHALL I GIVE THE WINGS TO THE LADY, SIR?"]
50428	TELL ME, THOMPSON, ARE THOSE THE BIRDS?
50428	THAT''S A NICEISH PONY OF YOURS, CHARLEY.--BY THE BYE, HOW HEAVY ARE YOU?
50428	WELL NOW, OLD FELLOW, WHAT SORT O''COUNTRY IS IT WHERE WE ARE GOING TO- MORROW?
50428	WELL, MY LITTLE DEAR, AND PRAY WHAT NICE LITTLE GIRL ARE YOU?
50428	WHAT AM I ABOUT? 50428 WHAT''S ALL THIS ABOUT?"
50428	WHY, GUV''NR, WHAT HEVER''S THE MATTER?
50428	WHY, MA''AM? 50428 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE_ Bell''s Life_, SIR?
50428	YOU ARE QUITE SURE, CHARLES, THAT HE''S TEMPERATE?
50428	''AVE A PAIR ON?"]
50428	(_ To Young Lady._)"AIN''T WE, MEM?"]
50428	----"AND WHAT BEGINS WITH AN S?"
50428	----"WHAT HAVE YOU HAD FOR YOUR DINNER?"
50428	----_"I SAY, WHY AM I LIKE THE QUEEN''S CHIEF COOK?
50428	--_TIMES._][ Illustration:_ A DELICATE CREATURE.__ Youthful Swell._"NOW CHARLEY-- YOU''RE JUST IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST, HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE?"
50428	AIN''T THAT PRIME?"]
50428	AIN''T THE SEA- SIDE JOLLY?"
50428	AIN''T YOU GOING OUT TO- DAY?"
50428	AM I FIT TO GO INTODRAWINGROOM?
50428	AND DO YOU THINK YOU ARE MAKING GOOD PROGRESS?"
50428	AND DON''T IT MAKE YOU ALWAYS READY FOR YOUR GRUB, NEITHER?"
50428	AND HOW DID YOU LIKE YOUR PARTY LAST NIGHT?"
50428	AND HOW DO YOU LIKE ROTTEN ROW?"
50428	AND HOW''S THE MARE?"
50428	AND WHEN I GROW A BIG LADY, MAY I WEAR A WREATH, AND GO TO THE OPERA?"
50428	ARE MOUSTACHES FASHIONABLE?"
50428	ARE YOU OFF?"
50428	BUT PLEAZ M'', BE OI TO WEAR MY BREECHES?"]
50428	BUT_ YOU_ ARE NEVER GOING TO DRIVE?"
50428	CAN I BE OF ANY SERVICE?"
50428	CAN''T YER FIND US A OLD LADY AND TWO LITTLE GALS WITH LOTS O''BOXES?
50428	DID YOU EVER SEE ANYTHING SO ABSURD?"]
50428	DID YOU SEE WHAT THE NEWSPAPER SAYS ABOUT THE ECLIPSE?"
50428	DID YOU WANT YOUR SHOES BLACKED?"]
50428	DIDN''T YOU, MO?"]
50428	DINNA YE KEN THE WATTER''S FOR DRINK, AND NAE FOR BATHIN''?"]
50428	DO I_ LOOK_ AS IF I WANTED A BOAT?"]
50428	DO YOU GIVE IT UP?"
50428	DO YOU MEAN THAT GIRL WITH THE PUG NOSE?"]
50428	DO YOU THINK I SHOULD LET YOU RIDE HIM IF HE WASN''T?
50428	DO YOU THINK THOSE FELLOWS ARE FOLLOWING US?"]
50428	DO YOU''ACK''IM OR''UNT''IM?"
50428	DON''T YOU LIKE DANCING?"
50428	DON''T YOU, ALICE?"
50428	EH?"
50428	EH?]
50428	FOURTEEN ON YE SLEEP UNDER THAT GIG UMBRELLER OF A THING?
50428	GREAT CARE NECESSARY FOR FEAR OF DISTURBING THE CRUST, YOU KNOW-- ET CÃ � TERA-- TWIG?"]
50428	HAIN''T IT?"
50428	HAVE THEY BEEN WANTING YOU TO EAT SALT BUTTER AGAIN?"
50428	HAVE YOU TAKEN UP THE LAMP AND THE CIGARS?"
50428	HAVEN''T WE DONE ENOUGH FOR''EM THIS YEAR?--DIDN''T WEST AUSTRALIAN WIN THE DERBY?"]
50428	HAVEN''T YOU GOT SOME CHAPS COMING TO GRUB WITH YOU TO- DAY?"
50428	HOW THE DEUCE DO YOU SUPPOSE I''M TO DO MY BACK HAIR WITH ONLY ONE CANDLE?"]
50428	I SUPPOSE YOU WERE VERY GAY?"
50428	I SUPPOSE YOU''RE NOT SORRY TO COME ON LAND FOR A BIT?"
50428	I WANT TO RIDE ON THE SANDS WITH THIS LITTLE BOY.--HAVE YOU A HORSE DISENGAGED FOR HIM?
50428	IS HE REAL OR STUFFED?"]
50428	IS IT?
50428	IS THAT CHEST OF CIGARS YOU IMPORTED FOR ME RIPE YET?"
50428	IS THAT YOU?
50428	IS THERE ANYTHING WEADY FOR DINNAW?"
50428	IS YOUR FATHER ILL?"
50428	JUS-- AIN''T I, THO''?"
50428	NOW ISN''T THIS CALLED KISSMAS TIME, BECAUSE EVERYBODY KISSES EVERYBODY UNDER THE MISTLETOE?
50428	PRAY ARE YOU NOT GOING WITH THE OTHER CHILDREN?"
50428	PRAY DON''T MOVE AND I''LL TAKE YOU OVER WITH ME"][ Illustration:_ NOTHING TO SPEAK OF!__ Old Gent._"PRAY, MY GOOD MAN, WHAT IS THE MATTER?"
50428	Popps._"WELL, WHAT I SAY IS, THEY ARE VERY BECOMING-- AND UNCOMMON COMFORTABLE?"]
50428	RATHER A NICE PLACE, IS IT NOT?"
50428	SHALL I TAKE YER BEARDS OFF?"
50428	Sprat._"DON''T YOU THINK, MY LOVE, THAT THE GROOM, WHO UNDERSTANDS THESE THINGS, HAD BETTER PUT YOU UP?"
50428	T._"WELL, MR. TOMKINS, AND PRAY WHO MAY HENRIETTA BE?"
50428	THE DAY AFTER TO- MORROW!--AND AIN''T IT A BORE, JUST AS ONE''S HUNTERS ARE IN SUCH SPLENDID CONDITION?"]
50428	THE S- S- HE- SHER- PENT A- AN( HIC) ICH-(HIC-)THYOSAURUS?
50428	THEN DON''T YOU WISH YOU MAY GET IT?"
50428	THEN, IS THAT THE REASON WHY MISS GRUMPH WEARS''EM?"
50428	WASN''T IT ODD?]
50428	WE BOUGHT THESE LOVELY GOLD AND SILVER INDIAN ELEPHANTS AT A SALE THE OTHER DAY, AND ONLY GAVE FIFTY POUNDS FOR THEM; WASN''T IT CHEAP?
50428	WE HAVE DINED SOME TIME; WILL YOU TAKE SOME TEA?"]
50428	WHAT ARE YER A STARIN''AT?--AIN''T YER NEVER SEED A SODGER BEFORE?"]
50428	WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT NOW?"
50428	WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT NASTY DUST- PAN AND BROOM?"
50428	WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THOSE FOR A PAIR OF MOUSTACHES?"
50428	WHAT DO YOU WEAR YOUR HAT IN THE WATER FOR?"
50428	WHAT DOES IT SAY?
50428	WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN ABOUT?
50428	WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"]
50428	WHAT HAVE YOU GOT ON YOUR HEADS?"
50428	WHAT IS IT THESE DREADFUL GAROTTERS CALL''GIVING ONE THE HUG?''"
50428	WHAT MAKES MY LITTLE DARLING SO CROSS?"
50428	WHAT SHALL WE SAY?"
50428	WHAT THE D**** CONFOUND YOU, DIDN''T I TELL YOU TO STOP AT ACACIA VILLA?"
50428	WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU ABOUT?"
50428	WHAT THE DOOCE SHOULD CIVILIANS KNOW ABOUT-- EH?
50428	WHAT''LL MY OLD MAN THINK WHEN HE SEE ME IN THIS''ERE''AT?"]
50428	WHAT''S A FELLOW TO DO?
50428	WHAT''S ALL THAT?"
50428	WHAT''S HIS FAULT THAT HE COMES IN A CAB?"
50428	WHAT''S THE MATTER?
50428	WHAT''S THE MATTER?"
50428	WHAT?
50428	WHAT?
50428	WHERE CAN HE HAVE GOT TO WITH MY SECOND HORSE?"]
50428	WHO''S THAT COME TO GRIEF IN THE DITCH?"
50428	WHO''S THAT?"
50428	WHY NOT GOING A-- DWIVE?
50428	WHY NOT?
50428	WHY, WHAT DO YER CALL THIS?"]
50428	WHY, WHAT''S THE MATTER?"
50428	WHY, WHAT''S WRONG NOW, THOMAS?
50428	WHY, YOU FOOLISH THINGS, WHAT_ ARE_ YOU GOING TO DO, THEN?"
50428	WILKINS?"]
50428	WON''T YOU HAVE SOME PIE?"]
50428	WOT WOULD MISSUS SAY, PRAY, IF I WENT AND SPYLED MY COMPLEXION, AND MADE MY''ANDS''ARD?"]
50428	YOU NEVER RIDE HERE IN THE AFTERNOON-- HOW''S THAT?"
50428	YOU WON''T GO FLYING OVER ANY HEDGES OR FIVE- BARRED GATES?"]
50428	[ Illustration:"_ WHERE IGNORANCE IS BLISS,''TIS FOLLY TO BE WISE!_"(_ New Version._)"I SAY, JIM, VOT''S A PANIC?"
50428	[ Illustration:"_ WHO WOULDN''T BE A RIDING- MASTER?_"][ Illustration:_ A FRIENDLY MOUNT.__ Party_(_ whose nerve is not what it used to be_).
50428	[ Illustration:_ A BAD TIME FOR JOHN THOMAS.__ Rude Boy._"I SAY, JACK, AIN''T HE A FINE UN?--D''YE THINK HE''S REAL, OR ONLY STUFFED?"]
50428	[ Illustration:_ A BARE ASSERTION.__ Fred._"HOW DO YOU LIKE THE ALTERATION, BLANCHE?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A CAREFUL RIDER._"A STILE, EH?
50428	[ Illustration:_ A FADED YOUTH.__ Hostess._"NOW, MY DEAR-- WILL YOU COME AND DANCE A QUADRILLE?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A MAN OF CONSEQUENCE.__ Cousin Harriet._"WELL, ALFRED, WILL YOU STOP AND HAVE SOME TEA WITH US?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A MOMENTOUS DECISION.__ Augustus._"ARE YOU FOND OF MOUSTARSHERS, EMILY?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A MONSTROUS LIBERTY.__ Flunkey._"HALLO, WILLIAM, WHAT''S THE MATTER?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A SCENE AT A RAILWAY STATION.__ Groom._"BEG PARDON, SIR,--BUT WOS YOUR NAME TOMKINS?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A SEA- SIDE DIALOGUE._"HOLLO, JIMMY!--WHERE ARE YOU A- GOING WITH YOURN?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A SYREN._][ Illustration:_ AT THE SEA- SIDE.__ Augustus._"ISN''T IT JOLLY, FRANK, BEING DOWN HERE FOR THE HOLIDAYS?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ A VERY GREEN- EYED MONSTER!__ First Juvenile._"I WONDER WHAT CAN MAKE HELEN HOLDFAST POLK WITH YOUNG ALBERT GRIG?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ AFFECTING-- RATHER.__ Alfred._"TELL ME, MY OWN ONE, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU HAVE TO SAY BEFORE I GO?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS.__ Young Farmer No 1._"WELL, CHARLEY-- HAVE YOU HAD MUCH SHOOTING LATELY?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ AN ABSENTEE._"WHY ARE YOU ON THE CROSSING, JAMES?
50428	[ Illustration:_ AN EASY MATTER.__ Bathing Woman._"TEACH YER TO SWIM?
50428	[ Illustration:_ ANOTHER BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.__ First Collier._"SURREY, DUST THEE KNOW THE BISHOP''S COMING TO- MORROW?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ AVERAGE WEIGHT OF THE FOOT GUARDS.__ Heavy Swell._"WHAT''S THE AVERAGE WEIGHT OF THE MEN IN YOUR REGIMENT, CHARLEY?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ AWKWARD PREDICAMENT.__ Young Sparrow._"OH, I''M SORRY TO TROUBLE YOU, UNCLE-- BUT COULD YOU LEND ME A RAZOR?
50428	[ Illustration:_ BUSINESS- LIKE._"I SAY, CHARLEY, DON''T YOU THINK YOU HAD BETTER GO BACK TO YOUR CUSTOMER?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ CANINE._"BUY A LITTLE DORG, MARM?"]
50428	[ Illustration:_ DID YOU EVER!__ Friend._"WELL, SPRAT, MY BOY-- AND HOW DO YOU GET ON, NOW YOU''RE MARRIED?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ DRESS CIRCLE AT PUNCH AND JUDY._][ Illustration:_ EAGER APPLICANTS._"WANT YOUR DOOR DONE, MUM?"]
50428	[ Illustration:_ EDUCATION IN THE MINING DISTRICTS.__ Jemoimer._"BIST THOU A GOIN''TO SKULE, ELOYZA?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ FEMININE AMENITIES.__ Sensitive Party._"WHO IS THAT GIRL WITH THE NEZ RETROUSSÃ �?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ FOLLY AND INNOCENCE.__ Charles._"I SAY, CLARA, AIN''T IT JOLLY?
50428	[ Illustration:_ FORTUNE''S FAVOURITE.__ First Snob._"YOU KNOW THAT JOLLY LITTLE GIRL, JULIA BINKS?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS._"MARTHA, WAST''E DONE WI''THE MILK?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ GOING TO A PARTY.__ Exquisite._"AW, DRIVAW-- HAVE YOU A GOOD HORSE?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ GOOD NEWS._"WELL, JIM, HAVE YOU HEARD THE LATEST INTELLIGENCE?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ GOOD SECURITY.__ Boy._"PLEASE, SIR, GIVE ME A BROWN?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ HOW TROUBLESOME THE BOYS ARE.__ Juvenile._"I SAY, HARRIET-- DO US A FAVOUR?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ HUMILITY._][ Illustration:_ A DAY AT THE CAMP.__ Sentinel._"WHO COMES THERE?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ IS SMOKING INJURIOUS?__ Youthful Swell._"HAW!
50428	[ Illustration:_ JOHN THOMAS NON- PLUSHED.__ Tax Collector._"JOHN THOMAS MOONCALF?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ LIFE IN LONDON.__ Isabella._"WELL, AUNT, AND HOW DID YOU LIKE LONDON?
50428	[ Illustration:_ LITTLE DINNER AT GREENWICH.__ Fish Swell._"HERE, WAITAW!--ARE THE WHITEMEN PRETTY GOOD?"]
50428	[ Illustration:_ LITTLE MEN._"BEEN TO THE PLAY MUCH THESE HOLIDAYS, FRED?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ MEN OF TASTE.__ Alphonso._"YOU FIND YOUR MOOSTARCHERS A GREAT COMFORT, DON''T YOU, TOM?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ MISS AND MISTLETOE.__ Miss Gushington._"OH, DON''T YOU LIKE CHRISTMAS TIME, MR. BROWN, AND ALL ITS DEAR OLD CUSTOMS?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ MORAL INFLUENCE OF EXECUTIONS._"WHERE''AVE WE B''N?
50428	[ Illustration:_ MORE LIGHT.__ Irritated Swell._"RING?
50428	[ Illustration:_ MUCH TOO CURIOUS.__ Officious Little Gent._"HOLLO, CABBY, WHAT''S THE MATTER WITH YOUR''ORSE?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ OLD BROOM.--RETIRING FROM BUSINESS.__ New Broom._"POOR JACK, YER HONOR?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ PATRONISING._"PRETTY SIGHT, AIN''T IT, CHARLEY, TO SEE THE YOUNGSTERS ENJOYING THEMSELVES?"]
50428	[ Illustration:_ PRACTICAL SCIENCE.__ Grandmamma._"WELL, CHARLEY, AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN LEARNING TO- DAY?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ PRUDENT RESOLVE.__ Little Party._"GO AND WALK IN HYDE PARK?
50428	[ Illustration:_ QUITE A SEDUCTIVE SON OF MARS.__ Lady._"AND SO, CAPTAIN-- THEY SAY YOU ARE GOING TO TURN BENEDICK?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ QUITE RIDICULOUS!_"DO YOU BELIEVE IN TABLE- TALKING, MATILDA, THAT THERE''S SUCH A FUSS ABOUT?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ SCHOLASTIC.__ Mother._"AND, PRAY, DOCTOR, WHAT ARE YOUR TERMS FOR HEDUCATING LITTLE BOYS?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ STARTLING FACT!__ Oxford Swell._"DO YOU MAKE MANY OF THESE MONKEY- JACKETS, NOW?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ TERRIBLE PROPOSITION.__ Ferocious Hairdresser._"NOW, SIR, SHALL I TAKE THE PINTS OFF THE WHISKERS?"]
50428	[ Illustration:_ THE EXPANSE OF FASHION.__ Chair Proprietor._"WOULD YOU PLEASE TO PAY FOR THE CHEERS, MUM?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ THE HUSBAND AS HE OUGHT TO BE__ Angelina._"WELL, LOVE, HOW DO YOU THINK I LOOK?--DO YOU LIKE THE DRESS?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ THE MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.__ Frederick._"NOW THEN, WILLIAM, WHAT ARE YER WAITING FOR?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ THE RIGHT MEN IN THE RIGHT PLACE; VIZ., A CLUB WINDOW.__ Old General Muddle._"WHAT I SAY, IS-- IS-- EH?
50428	[ Illustration:_ THE VALENTINE.__ Little Foot Page._"I SAY, MARIA, WHAT''S A RHYME TO CUPID?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ TOUCHING.__ Friend._"----AND WHAT BECOME OF HER?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ URGENT.__ Street Boy._"I SAY, COOKY?
50428	[ Illustration:_ VERY CONSIDERATE.__ Steward._"WILL EITHER OF YOU, GENTLEMEN, DINE ON BOARD?
50428	[ Illustration:_ WHERE ARE THE POLICE?_ A SKETCH, SHOWING THE DECENT MANNER IN WHICH THE"FORM OF PRAYER"WAS RETAILED ON THE FAST DAY.]
50428	[ Illustration:_ WHOLESOME FEAST.__ Jessie._"AND SO, WALTER, YOU HAVE LITTLE PARTIES AT YOUR SCHOOL, EH?"
50428	[ Illustration:_ WHY NOT?_ THE GREAT MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.--FAIR PLAY FOR THE BAKER.]
50428	[ Illustration:_ WONDERFUL INTELLIGENT CHILD._----"ROSE, WILL YOU HAVE SOME DINNER?"
50428	[ Illustration:_''ARRY AND''ARRIET._][ Illustration:_ MALICIOUS.__ Flora._"CAN YOU STILL SEE THE STEAMER, LUCY, DEAR?"
50428	[_ A Favourite Lawn Meet-- and not a moment to spare._][ Illustration:_ JUVENILE WISDOM.__ Florence._"----AND HOW OLD IS YOUR PONY, FRED?"
50428	[_ Proceeds to perform that operation with corkscrew._][ Illustration:_ A WAKE IN THE MINING DISTRICTS.__ J''moimer Ann._"HAS THEE FOWGHTEN, BILL?"
50428	_ AND_[ Illustration_ AND AS HE OUGHT NOT TO BE._(_ Is n''t it so, my Dears?_)_ Angelina._"WELL, E.,--YOU DON''T SAY A WORD ABOUT MY DRESS?"
50428	_ AND_[ Illustration_ AND AS HE OUGHT NOT TO BE._(_ Is n''t it so, my Dears?_)_ Angelina._"WELL, E.,--YOU DON''T SAY A WORD ABOUT MY DRESS?"
50428	_ Blanche._"WHAT ALTERATION, DEAR?"
50428	_ Boatman._"WANT MENDIN''IS IT?
50428	_ Boy._"DOAN''T HE?--THEN WHY DOAN''T HE KICK THEE ORF?"]
50428	_ Boy._"DOES HE BITE?"
50428	_ Boy._"DOES HE KICK?"
50428	_ Boy._"DOES IT TAKE TWO TO HOLD HIM?"
50428	_ Cab Ruffian._"NO; WHAT SORT OF FARE IS IT?"
50428	_ Chair Proprietor._"WELL, MUM-- HOW MANY MIGHT YOU BE A SITTIN''ON?"]
50428	_ Darling._"WHAT, AND TAKE MY BEAUTIFUL VELVET AND GOLD CHURCH SERVICE UNCLE CHARLES GAVE ME?"]
50428	_ Edwin._"EM, WHAT?
50428	_ Eust._"AND THE WINE?"
50428	_ Eust._"AND YOU HAVE PLACED SOME COALS UPON THE FIRE?"
50428	_ Eust._"THEY ARE YOUNG?"
50428	_ Eust._"YOU HAVE DRAWN THE CURTAINS?"
50428	_ First Ditto._"WOT ODDS?
50428	_ Flora._"AND DEAR, DEAR WILLIAM, TOO?"
50428	_ Flora._"DOES HE SEEM UNHAPPY, NOW HE IS AWAY FROM ME?"
50428	_ Fred._"WHY, HANG IT!--HAVEN''T I CUT OFF MY BEARD AND MOUSTACHES?"]
50428	_ Freddy._"ARE WE?
50428	_ I WONDER WHERE MASTER CAN BE?_"][ Illustration:_ A BLACK INDIGNITY.__ Lady of the House._"OH, THOMAS!
50428	_ Johnny._"WHY?"
50428	_ Junior Party._"NOT GOING A-- DWIVE?
50428	_ Lady._"HOW MUCH?"
50428	_ Lucy._"WELL, REGINALD, AND WHEN DO YOU GO BACK TO SCHOOL?"
50428	_ Maria._"WHY, STUPID RHYMES TO CUPID-- DON''T IT, STUPID?"]
50428	_ Old Cove._"_ HAVE_ YOU?"]
50428	_ Pretty Cousin._"WELL, WHAT IS IT?"
50428	_ Quiet Lady._"ARE THEY, DEAR?
50428	_ Second Ditto._"BAIN''T I?
50428	_ Second Ditto._"DON''T YOU KNOW?
50428	_ Second Ditto._"WELL, WOT ODDS?"
50428	_ Second Ditto._"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"
50428	_ Second Do._"WOT''S THAT?"
50428	_ Second Naturalist._"WHO SAID ICH-(HIC) ICHTHY- O- SAURUS?
50428	_ Small Boy._"THAT?
50428	_ Student._"--AND THE WHISKEY, AND THE SUGAR, AND THE LEMON, AND BOILING WATER?"
50428	_ Subject._"JUMP?
50428	_ Young Williams._"BOO- HOO-- AND WHAT''S A FELLOW TO DO WHEN ALL THE MEN OF HIS OWN AGE SMOKE?"]
45981	Nothing?
45981	What shall we do with him?
45981	''"What hast thou seen, Jack?"
45981	''But, why,''he cries,''should artists grieve When models die,--if_ pictures_ live?''
45981	''Can I believe my eyes?
45981	''Can you hear me?''
45981	''Do you want any Brickdust?''
45981	''Est- il possible?
45981	''How dare you enter here,''she said,''And what''s this saucy masquerade?
45981	''How shall we Mortals pass our Hours?
45981	''I suppose daddy will put us up for sale?''
45981	''I will allow you twelve shillings a week to be my amanuensis!--What do you think of that?''
45981	''Oars?
45981	''Pray, sir, do you know what we sit here for?''
45981	''Pray, young man,''she enquires of a smart young jockey,''are there any_ meetings_ in this town?''
45981	''Sculls?
45981	''What situation in my family would you wish to undertake, young woman?''
45981	''What''s the matter, La Fleur,''said I,''with this_ bidet_ of thine?''
45981	''Whom shall I strike then?''
45981	''[ 22] 1810(?).
45981	( 1783?)
45981	( 1783?)
45981	( 1789?)
45981	( 1807?)
45981	( 1807?)
45981	( A Nice Fish?)
45981	( N.D.) 1791(?)
45981	( N.D.) Discord(?)
45981	( N.D.) Sailors Carousing(?)
45981	( N.D.) Youth and Age(?)--Contrasts.
45981	(?
45981	(?
45981	(?
45981	1785(?)
45981	1787(?)
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45981	1820(?)
45981	267''Ghost of my Departed Husband, whither art thou gone?''
45981	271 Do you want any Brick- dust?
45981	274- 5 Who''s Mistress Now?
45981	368 Do n''t he Deserve it?
45981	4. Who''s Mistress Now?
45981	6 Glee, A:''How shall we Mortals pass our Hours?
45981	73''Is this your Louse?''
45981	74 Who Killed Cock Robin?
45981	A Jew hawker, who cries,''Any old clothes to shell?''
45981	A Note of Hand?
45981	A Quaker, his companion, is responding,''Ay, friend, but it is all vanity; what is this to the inward light?''
45981	A Rough Sketch of the Times, as delineated by Sir Francis Burdett--''Who Killed Cock Robin?''
45981	A strong- chest, in the rear, is labelled_ Contents of the Sealing; the Sealed, the Elect, to inherit the Tree of Life_,& c. 1814(?).
45981	Acting a play mayhap?
45981	And what is virtue?
45981	Another gallant gentleman is anxiously enquiring of his neighbour,''How much did you give to be gazetted?''
45981	B. replies:''If you want to go through pay the toll; what the devil do you think I keep a turnpike gate for?''
45981	But, would it not be vain to tell The various chances that befel Horsemen and footmen who that day From_ Death''s_ dread challenge ran away?
45981	Did I not build more ships than you could find sailors for?
45981	Did I not burn Moscow, and leave 400,000 brave soldiers to perish in the snow, for the good of the French nation?
45981	Did I not change my religion and turn Turk, for the good of the French nation?
45981	Did I not command you not to return till you had spread your wing of victory over the whole Spanish nation?''
45981	Did I not lead 498,000 men to gather fresh laurels in Russia?
45981	Did I not leave the Russians 1,200 pieces of cannon to build a monument of the victory of Moscow?
45981	Did I not swear I would destroy Prussia?
45981	Did I not swear I would destroy Sweden?
45981	Did I not swear I would have colonies and commerce?
45981	Do n''t he Deserve it?
45981	Dundas( Lord Melville) is kicking with energy, crying''What the Deel is the man aboot?''
45981	Etched by Rowlandson.--''What''s life without passion, sweet passion of love?''
45981	Gee up, Neddy, come up, Neddy,& c., What do you think of my Neddy and me?
45981	Ghost of my Departed Husband, whither art thou gone?
45981	Have I not blown up the corporal for blowing up the bridge?
45981	Have I not called my troops from Holland, that they might not winter in that foggy climate?
45981	Have I not called my troops from Spain and Portugal, to the ruin of the English?
45981	Have I not robbed the churches of twenty flags to send to my Empress, for the loss of my own flags and eagles?
45981	How shall we Mortals Spend our Hours?
45981	How shall we undertakers thrive, With doctors who keep folks alive?
45981	In Love, in War, in Drinking?''
45981	In Love, in War, in Drinking?''
45981	Is not it very hard?
45981	Joseph''s fears are too much for his self- command; he is appealing to his great little brother,''Why do n''t you stop?
45981	July(?)
45981	Light, your Honour?
45981	Lord Castlereagh promises_ The Revenge_, with_ Who would have thought it?_ Lord Wellington''s booth has_ The Wild Goose Chase_, with_ The Wanderer_.
45981	O grave, where is thy victory?''
45981	Oars, oars?''
45981	Oars, oars?'']
45981	Oars?
45981	Oars?''
45981	Of the twin wretches who are being strangled without mercy at the hands of Sir Francis Burdett one has in his pocket''Barrow( borough?
45981	One clerk is exclaiming,''Why, Joseph, whither art thou going?''--''Whither?''
45981	Post Boys and Post Horses at the''White Hart 1787(?)
45981	Sculls, sculls?
45981	Sculls, sculls?
45981	Talking of Oxford, did you ever see this collection?
45981	Tegg.--''Who the devil do you stare at?
45981	The Corsican is vapouring on a grand scale, trying ineffectually to raise the ardour of his dupes:''Did I not swear I would destroy Austria?
45981	The bishop is calmly receiving his turbulent visitor, with an air which seems to demand, without perturbation:''O Death, where is thy sting?
45981	The composition commences thus:-- Who followed me through street and lane, In spite of hurricane and rain; While I my daily bread did gain?
45981	The dismayed Colonel, keeping his hands in his pockets, is making a counter- proposal:''What do you talk about patriotism?
45981	The dress, we know, is neither new nor rare; But how the powers came it there?
45981	Turning then to Mrs. Clarke( Miss T. thinks), he said,''How does he behave to you, darling?''
45981	Vide''Benevolent Epistle to Sylvanus Urban''-- With anger foaming and of vengeance full, Why belloweth John Nichols like a Bull?
45981	What Baron, or Squire, or Knight of the Shire Lives half so well as a Holy Friar?
45981	What can they be quarrelling about?
45981	What hast thee got on thy head there?
45981	What have you to say for yourselves?''
45981	Where is the ten million of British bullion, you scarecrow?
45981	Which is Best( British Liberty, French do.)?
45981	Which is Best?
45981	Who Killed Cock Robin?
45981	Who are you?
45981	Who can resist a dashing young soldier?
45981	Who''s Mistress Now?
45981	Why, surely, it ca n''t be?--it is Boney too, for all that; why, what game be''est thee at now?
45981	Why, that chap there?
45981	Wine makes the head to ache; but will the art Of the grave, solemn lecture reach the heart?
45981	_ A Country Club._ 1811(?).
45981	_ A Musical Doctor and his Scholars._ 1815(?).
45981	_ A Prize Fight._ 1806(?).
45981	_ A Select Vestry._ 1806(?).
45981	_ An Unexpected Return, or a Snip in Danger._ 1815(?).
45981	_ July 14, 1812_(?).
45981	_ July 14, 1812_(?).
45981	_ July 14, 1812_(?).
45981	_ May 25, 1807.__ A White Sergeant giving the Word of Command:''Why do n''t you come to bed, you drunken sot?
45981	_ May 4, 1811.__ Who''s Mistress Now?_ Republished.
45981	_ Melpomene._ And pray, Mr. Monarch, how long am I to be confined to this_ box fever_, or nervous rheumatism in my loins?
45981	_ No Date._( 1811?).
45981	_ No Date._( 1811?).
45981	_ No date._ 1812(?).
45981	_ The Glutton._ What, do these sav''ry meats delight you?
45981	_ The Sagacious Buck, or Effects of Waterproof._ 1811(?).
45981	_ Who killed Cock Robin?
45981	asked one,"Do with him?"
45981	comme il a mal au coeur, notre pauvre général._''Jack Tar, evidently thinking of''the yellow boys,''is replying,''More blue?
45981	cries Kemble,''is it come to this?
45981	do n''t ye see it''s as yellow as gold?''
45981	exclaimed she,"do you forget Miss Coleman, who brought a letter to you from Charles Townley, to compare limbs with your Venus?
45981	he the King?
45981	let him sneak off without a mark or a scratch?
45981	my old friend, Mr. Bull, do n''t you know me?''
45981	no bidding for the crown of Spain?
45981	thou art there( the seaman said), I know thee well-- but who''s afraid?
45981	what be the matter with him?
45981	what is this I see?
45981	whither art thou gone?_ Rowlandson sculp.--A grotesque scene in a churchyard.
45981	why cut them so short?''
45981	why, ye lubber, what do ye mean by that?
45981	will you be silent?''
45981	you sir,--what, are you going to cut my nose off?''
41057	!_"Illustration:"_ What''s in a Name?_"= Waiter=(_ to nervous invalid_).
41057	AH, HOW DID YOU KNOW MY----AH-- HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS A LORD?
41057	AH-- J''ETTAY SEE-- AH-- DISAPPOINTAY DE NE PAS VOO VWORE A LA RINK CE MATTANG-- POORQWAW ESKER----?
41057	ALL BOG LIKE THIS?
41057	AND WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR COUNTRY QUALITY DOWN HERE, SIR?
41057	AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING ALL THESE YEARS,--WHAT ARE YOU PAINTING?
41057	ARE YOU SOBER THIS MORNING, SIR?
41057	BEEN TO SCHOOL, LITTLE LASSIE?
41057	CAN YOU DIRECT ME TO THE MOORGATE STREET STATION?
41057	CAN YOU KINDLY DIRECT ME THE NEAREST WAY TO SLAGLEY?
41057	CAN''T I HAVE THE LADY ONLY? 41057 CLANE, SOR?
41057	COULD YER''BLIGE US WITH A WORM, GOV''NOUR?!!
41057	COULD YOU INFORM ME WHAT THESE''ERE BUSSES CHARGE FROM PADDINGTON TO THE BANK?
41057	DERE IS SOME VUN ILL?
41057	DID YOU SEE THE DARDANELLES?
41057	DOESN''T AGREE WITH YOU?! 41057 DON''T SEEM TO BE MAKING MUCH OF IT, DO''E?"
41057	EH?
41057	ELIZA, WHAT IS THAT BELL RINGING FOR SO VIOLENTLY?
41057	FOR LITTLE BOYS TO PLAY WITH,''MA?!
41057	GOOD GRACIOUS, DEARS, WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH THESE PARCELS?
41057	HAVE YOU ANY WEST INDIA PICKLES, WAITER?
41057	HAVE YOU BEEN CONFIRMED, MY BOY?
41057	HOW DARE YOU BEAT THOSE GOSLINS, YOU YOUNG RASCAL? 41057 HOW DOES HE GET ON?"
41057	HOW MUCH TO THE BARRACKS?
41057	HULLO, PAT, WHAT ARE YOU ABOUT NOW?
41057	I BEG YOUR PARDON, MAJOR, BUT HOW MANY LEGS DID YOU SAY THE TRESTLE HAD?
41057	IS IT THROUTS? 41057 IS MRS. HIGGINS WITHIN?"
41057	MA, DEAR, WHAT DO THEY PLAY THE ORGAN SO LOUD FOR, WHEN''CHURCH''IS OVER? 41057 MY DEAR, IS THIS-- AH--(_yawns_)--TE- DIUM OVAR?"!!
41057	MY FRIEND, DO YOU KNOW THE CHIEF END OF MAN?
41057	MY GOOD MAN, WHAT INDUCED YOU TO SEND FOR ME?
41057	MY MAN, WHAT''S YOUR CHARGE FOR ROWING ME ACROSS THE FRITH?
41057	NOW, BILL, WHAT''S IT ALL ABOUT?
41057	NOW, IF THE THREE SIDES OF THIS TRIANGLE ARE ALL EQUAL, WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
41057	NOW, THEN, WHAT ARE YOU GAPING AT? 41057 NOW, WHAT SHOULD YOU THINK WAS MY WEIGHT?"
41057	O, MISTER, WOULD YOU FIND THE CAPTAIN? 41057 OH, YES-- NEAR THE''ZOO,''ISN''T IT?
41057	OWT?
41057	PLEASE, SIR-- I-- DON''T KNOW----= Parson.="YOU UNDERSTAND ME; HAS THE BISHOP LAID HIS HANDS ON YOU?"
41057	SALUTE, IS IT? 41057 SHALL I SEND MY POPPET HIS SLIPPERS?"
41057	STRIPED GOWNDS SEEM ALL THE''GO''WITH''EM, EH? 41057 TELL ME, WAITER, AT WHAT HOUR DOES THE FIRST TRAIN LEAVE FOR CLONMEL?"
41057	THEN WHAT TIME DO YOU GET TO BED?
41057	THERE, MY BOY, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT? 41057 TUR- R- RN ME OUT?
41057	WELL, ELIZA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?
41057	WELL, JANE, HAVE YOU FOUND IT DULL?
41057	WELL, JOHNSON, WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT? 41057 WELL, MOTHER, AND HOW''S YOUR DAUGHTER, AND THE BABBY-- POORLY, EH?
41057	WELL, SIR, AND WHAT COMPANY DO YOU WISH TO BE IN?
41057	WHA''S CATCHIN''FESH?!
41057	WHAT BE THEY POST- ES VUR, MAS''R SAM''L?
41057	WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR THAT MOONLIGHT?
41057	WHAT IS IT, MY DARLING?
41057	WHAT TIME DOES THE HALF- PAST ELEVEN TRAIN START, PADDY?
41057	WHAT''S GOING ON HERE TO- DAY, PORTER? 41057 WHAT''S THE MATTER?"
41057	WHAT''S THE REASON OF THIS? 41057 WHERE DO YOU GO FOR THESE DIVIDEND WARRANTS?"
41057	WHEREABOUTS WAS IT?
41057	WHO SIGNED MAGNA CHARTA!!?
41057	WHO SIGNED MAGNA CHARTA?
41057	WHO SIGNED MAGNA CHARTA?
41057	WHUSTLE ON M''DOG? 41057 WHY, WHAT''S THE MATTER?"
41057	WHY-- WHAT HAVE I DONE, GOVERNOR?
41057	WILKINS, HOW DO YOU BRING SHILLINGS INTO PENCE?
41057	WON''T YE GIVE ME A COPPER, DOCTHER DEAR? 41057 What d''you mean, Sir?"
41057	YES, SIR, AW GOT HIM IN MANCHESTER, YONDER, AN''DOCTOR AW''S GOING T''AX YE, HEY Y''ONY OBJECTION TIN US NAMIN''HIM EFTHER YE?!
41057	YOU DON''T ADMIRE HIS POLITICS? 41057 YOUR GUV''NER IN THE ARMY?"
41057	& c.,& c._ Claim allowed._ Illustration:_ Unconscionable._= Head of the Firm.="WANT A HOLIDAY!?
41057	''AVE YER, THOUGH?
41057	''BEEN FOR YOUR ANNUAL COLLIS----I MEAN YOUR ANNUAL EXCURSION, YET?"
41057	''MEET THE- ARE, DO THEY?
41057	''PICK UP AN IDEA OR TWO?"
41057	''ve you any Idea-- w what Fellaw''s Pictu- ars we''re to Admi- are this Ye- ar!!!?"
41057	104 What''s in a Name?
41057	116 Manoeuvres, Our 19, 59 March of Refinement 2 Master of the Situation?!
41057	156 Silence is Golden 14 Silly Suffolk(?)
41057	35 What''s the Odds?
41057	60 Irish Grievances, Real 88 Irreverent 153 Irrevocable 55 Is it Pos- sible?!
41057	97?
41057	= Adjutant.="WELL, SERGEANT, HOW''S YOUR PRISONER GETTING ON?"
41057	= Adjutant.="What''s the Matter, Drum- Major?"
41057	= Aunt Sophy.="NOW SUPPOSE, GEORGE, AS A SINGLE WOMAN I SHOULD HAVE MY NAME PUT ON THE REGISTER, WHAT SHOULD I GET BY IT?"
41057	= Aunt.="WELL, DAISY, HOW DID YOU LIKE''CHURCH''YESTERDAY?"
41057	= Bandsman.="AW CANNOT?!
41057	= Bank Beadle.="WHAT STOCK, SIR?"
41057	= Bath- Chairman.="I S''POSE THE DUKE OF EDINBORO''AND HIS MISSIS WILL BE BY DIRECTLY?"
41057	= Boy.="BOO, OO, OO, WHAT FURR''D THEY GORS- CHICKS FEYTHER BOITE OI THEN FURR?!"
41057	= Brown, Senior.="WELL, FRED, WHAT DID YOU SEE DURING YOUR TRIP ABROAD?"
41057	= Careful Wife.="ARE YOU VERY WET, DEAR?"
41057	= Civil Service Captain.="WILL-- HE-- AH-- STAND POW- DAR?"
41057	= Cook.="YES,''M-- FRESH, OR AUSTR----?"
41057	= Daniel.="YES, MUM--(_hesitating-- he had noticed the correction_)--BE I--(_in a loud whisper_)--BE I TO CHANGE MY TROWSE''S, MUM?"!!
41057	= Dealer.="''POWDER?''
41057	= Emily.="WHAT''S CAPITAL PUNISHMENT, MAMMA?"
41057	= Family Man.="WHERE DO YOU GO THIS YEAR, JINNINGS?"
41057	= First Country Gentleman.="''MEAN HUNTING THIS WINTER, CHARLIE?"
41057	= First Country Gentleman.="HOW?"
41057	= First Ditto.="WHAT BE THE WOIRES VUR, THEN?"
41057	= First Driver.="HOW''S POOR BOB?"
41057	= First Factory Lad.="DOM''NICK, DID YOU GET E''ER A BITE AT ALL?"
41057	= First North Briton.="''T''S A FINE DAY, THIS?"
41057	= First North Briton.="GAUN T''ABERDEEN, MAYBE?"
41057	= First North Briton.="YE''LL BE TRAVELLIN''?"
41057	= First Swell.="LET''S SEE-- TO- MORROW''S----WHAT''S T''DAY, BYTH''BY?"
41057	= Fussy Party.="WHY DON''T YOU TOUCH YOUR HAT TO ME, BOY?"
41057	= Gent.="I LEFT A LOCK OF HAIR HERE A FEW DAYS AGO TO BE FITTED IN A LOCKET, IS IT-- AH-- READY?"
41057	= Gentleman.="WHO DO THESE PIGS BELONG TO, BOY?"
41057	= Gentleman.="YES, YES; BUT I MEAN WHO''S THEIR MASTER?"
41057	= George.="ARE YOU SURE YOU TOOK MY RIGHT MEASURE, CHARLOTTE?"
41057	= Greengrocer.="WANT A PENN''ORTH O''COALS, DO YER?
41057	= Groom.="WHEW''S BEER DO YOU LIKE BEST-- THIS''ERE HOM''BREWED O''FISK''S, OR THAT THERE ALE THEY GIVES YER AT THE WHITE HO''S?"
41057	= Hairdresser.="ANY OFF THE BEARD, SIR?"
41057	= Head Waiter.="BEG PARDON, SIR?"
41057	= Head Waiter.="THE WHAT, SIR?
41057	= High Church Curate.="AND WHAT DO YOU THINK, MR. SIMPSON, ABOUT A CLERGYMAN''S TURNING TO THE EAST?"
41057	= Huntsman.="WHAT''LL YER TAKE ME FOR, GOV''NOUR?"
41057	= Husband.="I SAY, LIZZIE, WHAT ON EARTH DID YOU MAKE THIS MINT- SAUCE OF?"
41057	= Irish Mate.="HOW MANNY IV YE DOWN THER- RE?!"
41057	= Jack Bowbell.="EH?
41057	= Last Joined Supernumerary.="NOW, THEN, SENTRY, WHY DON''T YOU SALUTE YOUR OFFICER?"
41057	= Little Daughter.="WON''T THEY LET US OUT WITHOUT PAYING, MA''?"
41057	= Mamma.="AND WHAT DID HE BUILD IT FOR?"
41057	= Mamma.="MY DEAR CHILD, WHERE DID YOU GET THAT DREADFUL SCRATCH ON YOUR ARM?"
41057	= Mamma.="WHAT''S THE MATTER, THEN?
41057	= Mamma.="YOU KNOW WHO BUILT THE ARK, GEORGE?"
41057	= Mistress.="O, BUT I THOUGHT I SAW-- DIDN''T YOU-- DIDN''T HE-- TAKE A KISS, JANE?"
41057	= Nervous Old Lady.="NOW, CABMAN, YOU''RE SURE YOUR HORSE IS QUIET?
41057	= New Governess.="WHY ARE YOU STARING SO INTENTLY, BLANCHE, DEAR?"
41057	= Old Lady.="WHAT, ROBERT?"
41057	= Oldest Inhabitant.="WHAT DOES HE SAY, BETTY?"
41057	= Pat.="SNIPES, IS IT?!
41057	= Paterfamilias.="NO HOT PICKLES OF ANY DESCRIPTION?"
41057	= Pedestrian.="HOW FAR IS IT TO SLUDGECOMBE, BOY?"
41057	= Picture- Dealer.="VY NOT, GOOT SIR?
41057	= Presbyterian Minister.="DON''T YOU KNOW IT''S WICKED TO CATCH FISH ON THE SAWBATH!?"
41057	= Pretty Teacher.="NOW, JOHNNY WELLS, CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT IS MEANT BY A MIRACLE?"
41057	= Purchaser.="HE''S RATHER HEAVY ABOUT THE HEAD, ISN''T HE?"
41057	= Richard.="YOU''RE NEVER GOING TO EAT BEEF AGAIN, BOB, ARE YOU?
41057	= Rural Connoisseur.="HE''S A P''INTIN''TWO PICTUR''S AT ONCE, D''YER SEE?
41057	= Rustic.="WHOY?"
41057	= Saunders.="''SH- HAMED?
41057	= Saxon Sportsman.="ANY SNIPE ABOUT HERE, MY MAN?"
41057	= Scientific Colonel.="ARE YOU GOING TO THE''KRIEGSPIEL''TO- MORROW?"
41057	= Scientific Pedestrian.="DO YOU FIND ANY FOSSILS HERE?"
41057	= Second Boy.="WHAT ORFICER?"
41057	= Second Ditto.="WHAT BE THE WOIRES FUR?
41057	= Second Swell.="TUESDAY, ISN''T IT?--OR MONDAY?--WAS YEST''DAY SUNDAY?
41057	= Seedy Party.="MO''RGATE STREET STATION, SIR?
41057	= Ship- Painter.="NICE DRYIN''WEATHER FOR OUR BUSINESS, AIN''T IT, SIR?"
41057	= Shipping Clerk.="ARE YOU THE MATE O''THE''_ MAGGIE LAUDER_,''OF STONEHAVEN?"
41057	= Squire.="WELL-- I HARDLY----BUT WHY DO YOU ASK, PRODGERS?"
41057	= Squire.="WHY, PAT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, STANDING BY THE WALL OF THE PUBLIC- HOUSE?
41057	= Squire.="YOUR NAME SMITH?"
41057	= Street Boy.="VICH VAY ROUND, GOV''NOUR?"
41057	= Swell.="AH-- WHAT''S YOUR FARE TO HAMPSTEAD BY THE-- AH-- NEW LAW?!"
41057	= Swell.="EH-- BUT(_ to gain time_) WH-- WHAT''S YOUR MOTHER''S ABSURD NAME?"
41057	= Teacher.="WHAT BIRD DID NOAH SEND OUT OF THE ARK?"
41057	= The Governor.="DONE?
41057	= Town Gent.="NOW DO YOU FIND KEEPING POULTRY ANSWERS?"
41057	= Town Man.="TIME PASSES SLOWLY?
41057	= Uncle.="WELL, TOM, AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IN CRICKET THIS HALF?"
41057	= Visitor.="JANE, HAS YOUR MISTRESS GOT A BOOT- JACK?"
41057	= Visitor.="WELL, GEORGE, AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO BE, WHEN YOU HAVE GROWN UP?"
41057	= Volunteer Sentry.="THEN WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU DOIN''OUT THIS TIME O''NIGHT?"
41057	= Waiter.="DID YOU RING, SIR?"
41057	= Waiter.="IS IT THE FURRST THRAIN, SOR?
41057	= Wife.="O, NONSENSE, WILLY, HOW CAN THAT BE?
41057	A P''INTIN''ALL THEM BEASTLY POPPIES IN MY CORN!--''A BIT O''COLOUR?''
41057	AIN''T YOU ASHAMED OF YOURSELF?!"
41057	ASK THE GE''TLEMAN IF WE SHALL DRIVE UP- STAIRS, AN''SET''IM DOWN AT''IS BED- ROOM DOOR IN THE THREE- PAIR BACK?"
41057	BINGLES?"
41057	BUT--(_aghast_)--I SAY, WHAT ARE YOU A DOIN''OF, MISTER?!
41057	Brown finds Sandymouth a very different place from what she remembers it years ago!_)= Greengrocer.="CABBAGE, MUM!?
41057	CAN I GIVE HER ANY MESSAGE FROM YOU?"
41057	CAN I GIVE HIM ANY MESSAGE?"
41057	CAN YE NO GIE A WHUSTLE ON THA RAM''LIN''BRUTE O''MINE?
41057	CAN YE NO WHUSTLE IT?"!!
41057	CAN YOU TELL ME?"
41057	CAN''T YOU SEE THAT BATTERY PLAYING RIGHT ON THEM?"
41057	CORKED, SIR?!!"
41057	DANIEL, I SUPPOSE, DEAR?"
41057	DID YOU SEE MY ARTICLE IN THIS WEEK''S''NOW A DAYS?''"
41057	DID YOU''GET THE SACK''FROM''THE REYNOLDS''?"
41057	DIDN''T I SEE YOU AT CHURCH YESTERDAY?"
41057	DO YOU MIND LOOKING AFTER THE MEN WHILE I GO AND GET TAKEN PRISONER?"
41057	DON''T YOU SEE THE MARE IS RUNNING AWAY?"
41057	DON''T YOU THINK HE''LL BE RESTLESS?"
41057	G.="GIVE?!
41057	GOT THE SHILLIN''?"
41057	HADN''T YOU BETTER TURN HIM ROUND?!"
41057	HAS THERE BEEN A FÊTE?"
41057	HAVE YOU NOT ALL YOU WANT?--GOOD ROOMS, AND GOOD FRESH AIR AND FOOD, AND EASY WORK?"
41057	HOO''S THAT, MAN?"
41057	HOW BECOMIN''HE''D LOOK IN OUR LIVERY, WOULDN''T HE?!!"
41057	HOW CAN A JINTLEMAN DANCE--(_hic!_)--IV YE DON''T KAPE THIME?"!!
41057	HOW CAN YOU SAY SO?
41057	HOW DARE YOU TOUCH THE WINE, SIR?"
41057	HOW DID YOU GET THAT?!"
41057	HOW FAR IS IT TO THIS GLENSTARVIT?
41057	HOW IS IT MY WISHES HAVE NOT BEEN ATTENDED TO?"
41057	HOW IS SHE NOW?"
41057	HOW''S THE BABY?
41057	HOW-- WHAT''S ALL THIS?
41057	I''LL HAE TO BE STEPPIN''--BUT AWM GAUN TO SKEULL I''THE MORNIN''--WULL YE BE THIS WAY I''THE EFTERNEUN?!"
41057	IS IT TO WAKE US UP?"
41057	IS IT TUR- R- RN ME OUT?
41057	IS YOUR NAME ANNA, OR HANNAH?"
41057	IS''T A BARGAIN?!"
41057	ISN''T IT RATHER EARLY TO BRING HIM TO CHURCH?
41057	ISN''T IT?"!!
41057	IT WILL GIVE HER CONFIDENCE IN ME, AND----EH?"
41057	Illustration: Master of the Situation?!
41057	Illustration:"(_ Not_)_ Thankful for Small Mercies_"= Cat''s- Meat Man.="WHAT''A YER GOT FOR DINNER TO- DAY, JOE?"
41057	Illustration:"Lucus a Non"& c.= Visitor.="HOW LONG HAS YOUR MASTER BEEN AWAY?"
41057	Illustration:"What''s the Odds?"
41057	Illustration:"_ Bus- Measure._"=''Bus- Driver.="NEVER SEE THE COMET?!
41057	Illustration:"_ Canny._"= Sportsman.="THAT''S A TOUGH OLD FELLOW, JEMMY?"
41057	Illustration:"_ Mal Apropos._"= Rector''s Wife.="WELL, VENABLES, HOW DO YOU THINK WE SOLD THE JERSEY COW?"
41057	Illustration:"_ Never Say''Die''_"= Nephew.="SURE IT ISN''T GOUT, UNCLE?"
41057	Illustration:"_ No such Luck._"= Young Lady.="IS IT HUNGRY, THEN?
41057	Illustration:"_ Silence is Golden._"= Chatty Old Gent.="HAVE YOU LONG HOURS, HE- AR, PORTAR?"
41057	Illustration:"_ The Servants._"= Cook.="THEN, SHALL YOU GO AS''OUSEMAID?"
41057	Illustration:"_ What Next?_"= Mistress=(_ to New Housemaid_).
41057	Illustration:_ Bad Customer._= Landlady.="WHAT GENTLEMAN''S LUGGAGE IS THIS, SAM?"
41057	Illustration:_ Barometrical._= Draper.="LIGHT SUMMER DRESS?
41057	Illustration:_ Confession in Confusion._= Priest.="NOW, TELL ME, DOOLAN, TRUTHFULLY, HOW OFTEN DO YOU GO TO CHAPEL?"
41057	Illustration:_ Grandiloquence_= Captain of Schooner.="WHAT''A''YOU GOT THERE, PAT?"
41057	Illustration:_ Hard Up on a Wet Day._= Richard.="WHAT ARE YOU RINGING FOR, BOB?"
41057	Illustration:_ Incombinable Elements._= First Medical Student.="WHAT ARE YOU SIGHING FOR, JACK?"
41057	Illustration:_ Music in the Midlands._= Intelligent Youth of Country Town.="AH SAY, BILL, ULL THAT BE T''ELIJAH GOIN''OOP I''THAT BIG BOX?!"
41057	Illustration:_ Silly Suffolk(?)
41057	Illustration:_ State o''Trade._= Small Girl.="PLEASE, MRS. GREENSTOUGH, MOTHER SAYS WILL YOU GIVE HER A LETTUCE?"
41057	Illustration:_ Stern Pulpit Critics._= First Scot.="FAT SORT O''MINISTER HAE YE GOTTEN, GEORDIE?"
41057	Illustration:_ Temptation._= Painter.="YOU DON''T MEAN TO SAY YOU WANT ME TO SIGN IT, WHEN I TELL YOU I DID NOT PAINT IT?
41057	Illustration:_ The Run of the House._= First Flunkey.="WON''T YOU COME IN, JOHN, AND TAKE SOMETHING?"
41057	LOSH, MAN, D''YE THINK A''COULD SLEEP AN''WHUSKEY I''THE HOOSE?!"
41057	MAY I TAKE HOLD OF YOUR HAND WHILE WE''RE GOING THROUGH THIS TUNNEL?"
41057	PAY FOR THIS?
41057	Prodgers.="''IGH OR LOW, SIR?"
41057	Registrar.="WHAT''S THE NUMBER OF YOUR DEED, SIR?"
41057	SCAMPLING!?"
41057	SHE''VE APPLIED TO ME FOR THE CHARICTER OF MY LAST MISSUS, WHICH SHE''S THINKIN''OF TAKIN''THE SITIWATION----"= Susan.="WILL YOU GIVE HER ONE?"
41057	SOUND MY_ H_''S?"
41057	THE-- EH?
41057	VY NOT?
41057	WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CUPBOARD, YOU NAUGHTY BOYS?"
41057	WHAT DO YOU CALL HIM?"
41057	WHAT DO YOU THINK, BESIDES THE JOINT, OF OX- TAIL SOUP, LOBSTER PATÉS, AND AN ENTRÉE-- SAY, BEEF?"
41057	WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
41057	WHAT HAVE YOU----_WHERE''S_ YOUR CR''N''LIN?"
41057	WHAT LOIKE IS HE?"
41057	WHAT THE BLAZES, PAT ROONEY, D''YE MANE BY NOT DOUBLIN''WID THE SQUAD!?"
41057	WHAT WILL YOU DO WITH IT?"
41057	WHAT''LL I DO NOW?
41057	WHAT''S BEEN DELAYIN''YE?
41057	WHAT''S HE LAYING BACK HIS EARS LIKE THAT FOR?
41057	WHAT''S THAT FOR?"
41057	WHAT''S THE NEWS?"
41057	WHEN WILL YOU COME?"
41057	WHERE''S YOUR TICKET?"
41057	WHERE''YOU OFF TO?"
41057	WHERWE ON EARTH IS I-- T?"!!
41057	WHY DON''T YOU ORDER YOUR MEN TO LIE DOWN UNDER THIS HILL?
41057	WHY DON''T YOU PICK''EM UP?"
41057	WHY DON''T YOU TURN OUT THE GUARD?
41057	WIGSBY?"
41057	WOULDN''T YOU LIKE TO GO, SIR?"
41057	YOU DON''T SEE ANY HAIR ON MY HEAD, DO YOU?"
41057	YOU SEE THEY COULD ONLY ELECT YOU FOR YOUR PAINTING, FOR----WHY DO YOU WEAR SUCH THICK BOOTS?!!"
41057	_ BEELZE- BUBBED_, SIR?"
41057	_ Bolts._ Illustration:"_ Is It Possible?
41057	_ Our Amateur''s feelings are too much for him._ Illustration:"Any Ornaments for your Fire- Stoves?"
41057	_ Utter Collapse of Partner._ Illustration:_ Arbiter Elegantiarum._= Housemaid.="OH, PLEASE,''M, COULD I GO OUT THIS EVENING?
41057	and before the Archdeacon, too!_"Illustration:"_ A Slip o''the Tongue._"= Yachting Biped.="THEN YOU''LL LOOK US UP AT PRIMROSE''ILL?"
41057	thought one of the parties alluded to._ Illustration:"_ The Conscience Clause_"= Rector''s Wife.="AND WHAT''S YOUR FATHER, MY BOY?"
46349	CHRISTIAN NOM?
46349	OH, YES, OF COURSE, MISS; COULD WE SEND IT ANYWHERE FOR YER?]
46349	SO YOUR NAME IS CHARLEY, IS IT? 46349 THEN COULD YOU LEND ME FIVE POUNDS?"
46349	WELL, WHO AM I?
46349	WHAT''S ALL RIGHT?
46349	WHAT? 46349 __ First Sporting Snob._"WELL, BILL, WHAT SORT OF A DAY HAVE YER HAD?"
46349	''VHERE DID YOU PICK UP THAT OLD STRAWBERRY POTTLE YOU CALLS A CAB?"
46349	(_ And so on for half an hour._)][ Illustration:_ SOUND ADVICE.__ Master Tom._"HAVE A WEED, GRAN''PA?"
46349	(_ Inquiringly._) PRAY, SIR, WOT''S IT LIKE?
46349	(_ whispers_) ANY LEFT- OFF UNIFORMS, CAPTAIN?"]
46349	)._"I SAY, TOM, WHAT''S THAT LITTLE CRAFT WITH THE BLACK VELVET FLYING AT THE FORE, CLOSE UNDER THE LEE- SCUPPERS OF THE MAN- OF- WAR?"
46349	)._"MY DEAR CHARLES, BEFORE WE THINK OF MARRYING, I MUST ASK YOU WHAT YOU HAVE?"
46349	)._"SHAKSPEARE?
46349	)__ First Old Foozle._"WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE PAPER, SIR?
46349	--(_young Nimrod is immensely disgusted._)][ Illustration:_ LITERAL.__ Young Lady._"PRAY, CABMAN, ARE YOU ENGAGED?"
46349	----_Fifth Ditto._"THAT HOCK SEEMS RATHER QUEER,"& c.,& c.,& c.][ Illustration:_ A STARTLING REQUEST._"PLEASE, SIR, WILL YOU PUMP FOR ME?"]
46349	----_Second Ditto._"HE HASN''T BEEN DOWN, BRIGGS, HAS HE?
46349	----_Third Ditto._"DOES HE SHY AT ALL?
46349	1._"HAD EVER A BITE, JIM?"
46349	12?"
46349	1849 255 When it is Delightful to Lose a Bet 1853 110 Where Ignorance is not Bliss 1848 245 Which is Best?
46349	1849 276 Whiskerandos 1854 276 Who would n''t keep a Footman?
46349	1849 36 What they said to Themselves 1852 5 What will He do with Them?
46349	1850 267 Wholesome Prejudice 1850 176 Why, Indeed?
46349	1854 149 What is This?
46349	1855 241 What''s the Matter?
46349	4 ENJOYED HIMSELF,_ AND_ HOW_ No._ 8 SUFFERED IN CONSEQUENCE._][ Illustration:_ SPEAK AS YOU THINK._"ARE YOU GOING?"
46349	4 LIKES A HOLDER AND A THINNER WINE, DOES HE?
46349	42._"DID YOU CALL THE POLICE, SIR?"
46349	A NICE PLACE, AIN''T IT?"
46349	AIN''T HE A HAFFABLE GENTLEMAN, TUMMUS?"
46349	AND PRAY WHO IS THAT?"
46349	AND WHAT IF IT IS?
46349	AND WHAT''S THE MATTER WITH MY YOUNG FRIEND ADOLPHUS?"
46349	ARE YOU AWARE YOU''RE TRESPASSING THERE?"]
46349	ARE YOU GOING TO SMOKE?
46349	ARE YOU ILL?"
46349	BUT JUST TURN THE MEAT, WILL YOU, PLEASE, THE WHILST I FINISH MY CROCHET?"]
46349	BY THE WAY, SIR, HOW WOULD YOU RENDER THE PASSAGE BEGINNING[ Greek: kakôs pepraktai pantachê]?"
46349	Brown._"PRAY, JANE, WHAT ON EARTH IS THE REASON I AM KEPT WAITING FOR MY BREAKFAST IN THIS WAY?"
46349	CAN I GET YOU ANY GRUB?"]
46349	CAN I OFFER YOU ANYTHING-- A BASIN OF GRUEL, OR A GLASS OF COUGH MIXTURE?
46349	COMMENT APPELLE- T- ON CETTE MACHINE LÀ?"
46349	COMPRENNY?--BEAR''S GREASE?"]
46349	CONFOUND YOU, YOU PUPPY, DO YOU THINK I CAME HERE TO BE INSULTED AND TOLD OF MY PERSONAL DEFECTS?
46349	COULD I GO OUT FOR HALF- AN- HOUR TO BUY A BIT OF RIBBIN, MEM?"]
46349	DID HE, NOW?
46349	DID HE?
46349	DIDN''T I GO HOME WITH YOU?"]
46349	DO YOU KNOW, I DREAMT THAT THAT GREAT STUPID CAPTAIN DRAWLER UPSET A DISH OF TRIFLE OVER MY NEW LACE DRESS WITH THE BLUE SLIP?"]
46349	DO YOU LOVE HER AS MUCH AS PUDDING?"
46349	DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ROW BOTH OF US?"
46349	DO YOU THINK YOU HAVE GOT ANYTHING THAT WOULD CARRY ME?"
46349	DO YOU THINK_ YOU_ CAN CATCH A FOX?"
46349	DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
46349	DOES HE, MY LITTLE DEAR?
46349	DOES THE MAN THINK I''M A ROPE- DANCER?"]
46349	EH?
46349	EH?"
46349	EH?"
46349	FAUT- IL ALLER A DROITE, A GAUCHE, OU EN FACE, POUR ME RENDRE À PEEK- A- PEEK- A- DELEE?"
46349	GLASS OF WINE, BRIGGS, EH?"]
46349	Green._"OH, HOW DO YOU MEAN--''NOT VERY QUIET?''"
46349	HASN''T SHE?
46349	HERE, RUGGLES, BRING ANOTHER BOTTLE OF CLARET, AND-- EH?
46349	HOW CAN YOU ANNOY ME WITH SUCH TRIFLES?
46349	HOW DARE YOU IMITATE ME IN THAT MANNER?
46349	HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR NEW PONY?"
46349	HOW IS THIS?]
46349	HOW MANY WOULD YOU LIKE?"
46349	HOW MANY WOULD YOU PLEASE TO WANT?"
46349	HOW THE DOOSE DO YOU MANAGE IT?"
46349	HOW''S A FELLER TO EAT MEAT SUCH WEATHER AS THIS?
46349	I AM DISTRESSED TO DEATH ABOUT MONEY MATTERS-- I DON''T KNOW WHAT I SHALL DO?
46349	I BELIEVE IT WAS A MARRIAGE OF INCLINATION ON BOTH SIDES?"
46349	I HAVE HAD A GREAT NUMBER OF NICE PRESENTS; BUT I WONDER WHO SENT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL BOUQUET?"
46349	I THOUGHT YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD SEEN THE HOUNDS GO THROUGH HERE?"
46349	I WONDER HOW HE''LL LIKE THIS BIN?"]
46349	I''M AFRAID YOU''LL GET VERY WET-- CAN I OFFER YOU A GREAT COAT OR ANYTHING?"]
46349	I.--_A LOYAL CITIZEN.__ Magistrate._"NOW, SIR, WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
46349	IF YOU PLEASE''M-- COOK''S VERY SORRY''M-- BUT COULD SHE SPEAK TO YOU A MOMENT?"]
46349	II.--_YOUNG ENGLAND._"DOOCED GRATIFYING, AIN''T IT CHARLES, TO SEE SA MUCH IN- DASTRY?"]
46349	IS IT ANYTHING LIKE BEER, FOR EXAMPLE?"]
46349	IS NOT A ROAST LEG OF MUTTON, WITH PLENTY OF PUDDING, VEGETABLES, AND BEER, A SUBSTANTIAL DINNER ENOUGH FOR YOU?"
46349	IS THAT A SCRATCH, OR IS IT ONLY THE LIGHT?"
46349	IS THAT ALL?
46349	IS THAT THE ONLY BOAT YOU HAVE IN?"]
46349	IS THERE NOT SOMETHING, DEAR AUGUSTUS, TRULY SUBLIME IN THIS WARRING OF THE ELEMENTS?''
46349	IS THIS THE WAY YOU FILL UP YOUR CENSUS?
46349	ISN''T IT A CHEERFUL THING?]
46349	ISN''T IT KIND?"]"
46349	ISN''T SHE A PRETTY CREATURE?
46349	LET''S SEE-- THE FARE''S ABOUT NINE BOB, AS NEAR AS MAY BE; BUT, AS I WANT A DRIVE IN THE FRESH HAIR MYSELF, SUPPOSE WE SAY THREE''ARF CROWNS?"]
46349	MY DEAR?
46349	NOW TELL ME, THOMAS, HOW IS IT THAT MY BUTCHER''S BILLS ARE SO LARGE, AND THAT I ALWAYS HAVE SUCH BAD DINNERS?"
46349	NOW, CHARLEY DOESN''T KNOW WHO I AM?"
46349	NOW, I''LL GIVE YOU SIXPENCE IF YOU WILL TELL ME WHAT YOU ADMIRED MOST IN THAT TEMPLE OF INDUSTRY?"
46349	NOW, WHAT WOULD HE LIKE BEST FOR A PRESENT?"
46349	Noses._"GOT ANY OLD CLOTHES, SIR?
46349	OH, DEAR NO-- DO YOU?"
46349	PARDONG MOSSOO!--ESKER VOUS AVEY- A- SUCH A CHOSE AS A- A- UNE POT-- A- THAT IS A- A- UNE PO YOU KNOW- DE- DE- DE BEAR''S GREASE?
46349	POSTER, AIN''T YOU PRECIOUS DRUNK, RATHER?"
46349	PRAY, MY LITTLE MAN, HAVE YOU ANY APPREHENSION OF ACCIDENTS ON RAILWAYS?"
46349	PRAY-- HAVE YOU ANY REASON TO BE DISSATISFIED WITH YOUR PLACE?"
46349	PUMMELL, WHAT DO I OWE YOU?"
46349	S''POSE WE ASK HIM IF HE CAN GET US SOME PWAWNS FOR BWEAKFAST TO- MOWAW MORNING?"]
46349	SHE''S QUITE YOUNG, TOO-- AND SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOUTH!--NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY, SIR, EH?"
46349	SIR?"
46349	SOME OF THIS NICE PUDDING, OR SOME JAM TART?"
46349	SPELL?"
46349	SURE IT''S YER HONOURS FACE I RECOLLECT IN THE PENINSULAR?"]
46349	Smith._"IS MRS. BROWN IN?"
46349	TELL ME_ ONE_ THING, DO THEY PUT YOU INTO A COFFIN?"]
46349	THAT''S MY SADDLE HORSE, ISN''T IT?"
46349	THAT''S THE WAY YOU DRINK THE BEER WHEN YOU''RE SENT OF A HERRAND?"
46349	TWO WHAT?--THIEVES?"
46349	VII.--_BLOOMERISM IN A BALL- ROOM.__ Bloomer._"MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF DANCING THE NEXT POLKA WITH YOU?"]
46349	VII.--_HOTELS ARE QUITE FULL.__ Waterman._"VAT TIME WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR HOT WATER, SIR?"]
46349	WE HAD A WAFER YESTERDAY-- SUPPOSE WE HAVE A ROAST BUTTERFLY TO- DAY?"]
46349	WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GUN?"
46349	WHAT DO YOU THINK?
46349	WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?"
46349	WHAT IS IT, DEAR?"
46349	WHAT IS THERE FOR DINNER TO- DAY?"
46349	WHAT THE DEUCE ARE YOU ABOUT WITH THAT GRIDIRON?"
46349	WHAT THE DEUCE DO YOU WANT?"
46349	WHAT WILL MISSUS SAY?"]
46349	WHAT''S A STALL AT THE HOPERA?"
46349	WHAT''S THAT?"
46349	WHAT''S THE MATTER?"
46349	WHAT?
46349	WHATEVER SHALL I DO?"]
46349	WHATS THE MATTER?"
46349	WHERE ARE THE POLICE?"]
46349	WHERE ARE YOU A- GALLOPING TO?
46349	WHEREABOUTS IS AMSTID-- AM?"
46349	WHO THE DEUCE IS MISS BRADSHAW?"
46349	WHO''S THERE?
46349	WHY CAN''T YOU TELL ME WHO MISS BRADSHAW IS?"
46349	WHY DO THOSE GENTLEMEN DRESS THEMSELVES LIKE THE FUNNY LITTLE MEN IN MY NOAH''S ARK?"]
46349	WHY DON''T YER GO THE''OLE''OG, AND LET ALL YER BEARD GROW, LIKE ME?"]
46349	WHY, MAN, ARE YOU AWARE THAT SUCH A SUM IS MORE THAN IS FREQUENTLY GIVEN TO A CURATE?"
46349	WHY, YOU DON''T CALL ME AN EXTRA PERSON?"
46349	WILL YOU BE MINE?"
46349	WILL YOU DECIDE NOW WHAT WE SHALL HAVE FOR DINNER?"
46349	WON''T YOU LIKE A BOOK, MA''AM?"]
46349	YOU ARE SURELY NEVER GOING TO TAKE PORT WINE?
46349	YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN?
46349	YOU CAN''T EXPECT A YOUNG FELLER TO BE ALWAYS AT HOME; AND IF YOU DON''T LIKE THE WAY I GO ON, WHY I MUST HAVE CHAMBERS, AND SO MUCH A- WEEK?"]
46349	[ Illustration:"_ THAT IS THE QUESTION._"IS WESKETS TO BE GENERALLY WORE THIS SUMMER?]
46349	[ Illustration:_ A BON- BON FROM A JUVENILE PARTY.__ Alfred._"I SAY, FRANK, AREN''T YOU GOING TO HAVE SOME SUPPER?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A DUMB WAITER.__ Old Gentleman._"WHAT THE DEUCE IS THE REASON, SIR, YOU DON''T ANSWER WHEN YOU ARE CALLED?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A FASHION IN PINS._"A PIN FOR YOUR SCARF, SIR?
46349	[ Illustration:_ A FRAGMENT._"AND WILL YOU ALWAYS-- ALWAYS, DEAREST ALBERIC, LOVE ME THUS?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A GAY YOUNG FELLOW.__ Young Rapid._"YOU ARE QUITE SURE THIS IS THE CORRECT DRESS FOR A YOUNG FELLOW OF THAT PERIOD, EH?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A GREAT MISFORTUNE.__ First Juvenile( in Cab)._"WELL, CHARLEY, HAVE YOU HAD IT OUT WITH THE OLD BOY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A LUMPING PENN''ORTH._"NOW, MY MAN, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY, IF I GAVE YOU A PENNY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A MAN ABOUT TOWN._"WHERE SHALL I SAY YOU''RE GONE TO, JIM, IF ANYONE CALLS?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A NICE GAME AT BILLIARDS.__ Pretty Cousin._"LET ME SEE, FREDERICK, I''M JUST EIGHTEEN TO YOUR LOVE?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A PERSONAL OPINION.__ Elderly Spinster._"SO, YOU''RE GOING TO BE MARRIED, DEAR, ARE YOU?
46349	[ Illustration:_ A PLEDGE OF AFFECTION.__ Angelina._"WILL MY DARLING EDWIN GRANT HIS ANGELINA A BOON?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A QUIET WEED.__ Guard._"SOME ONE BEEN SMOKING, I THINK?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A ROMANCE OF ROAST DUCKS._"MY DARLING, WILL YOU TAKE A LITTLE OF THE-- A-- THE STUFFING?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A SON AND HEIR.__ Son and Heir._"HOW MANY OF US ARE THERE?
46349	[ Illustration:_ A SPORTING CHARACTER._"ARE YOU GOING TO HASCOT, BILL?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A SUGGESTION.__ Driver._"WHERE DID THE OLD GENT WANT TO GO TO, BILL?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A TEST OF STRENGTH.__ First Languid Party._"DON''T YOU FIND SEA- AIR VERY STRENGTHENING, JACK?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A THOROUGH GOOD COOK__ Lady._"THEN, WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR LAST PLACE, PRAY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ A VALUABLE ANIMAL.__ Gentleman( fond of dogs)._"SAGACIOUS?
46349	[ Illustration:_ AN ANCIENT IMPOSTOR.__ Youths._"THEN, I SUPPOSE, WHEN YOU WERE A SMUGGLER, YOU USED TO HAVE REG''LAR COMBATS AND FIGHTS?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ AN EASY FORECAST.__ Gipsy._"HAVE YOUR FORTUNE TOLD, MY PRETTY GENTLEMAN?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ AN OMNIBUS INCIDENT.__ Man( thrusting his hand into the window)._"WILL YOU BUY A PENKNIFE WITH A HUNDRED BLADES, SIR?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ AN UNREASONABLE COMPLAINT.__ Indignant Party._"WHAT?
46349	[ Illustration:_ ANGLERS HEAR STRANGE THINGS.__ Piscator._"ARE THERE ANY BARBEL ABOUT HERE, GOV''NOR?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ ANOTHER BIT FROM THE MINING DISTRICTS.__ First Polite Native._"WHO''S''IM, BILL?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ APPROPRIATE.__ First Citizen._"I SAY, BILL-- I WONDER WHAT HE CALLS HISSELF?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ BARRACK LIFE.__ First Heavy Swell( lately absent)._"WELL,''GUS, MY BOY-- HOW DID YOU KEEP IT UP HERE ON CHRISTMAS DAY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ BLESS THE BOY!__ Old Lady._"NOW, ARTHUR, WHICH WILL YOU HAVE?
46349	[ Illustration:_ CHANGING THE SUBJECT.__ Old Gentleman._"WELL, WALTER, I SUPPOSE YOU HAVE GOT INTO LATIN AND GREEK AT SCHOOL BY THIS TIME, EH?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ COMPARATIVE LOVE.__ Papa._"SO, CHARLEY, YOU REALLY ARE IN LOVE WITH THE LITTLE BLACK- EYED GIRL YOU MET LAST NIGHT?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ COOL ASSURANCE.__ Undergraduate._"YOU DON''T OBJECT TO SMOKING, I HOPE?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ CRUEL!__ Snob._"''AVE A CIGAR, COACHEE?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ DE GUS- TIBUS.__ Uncle._"SO, YOU''VE BEEN TO THE CRYSTAL PALACE-- HAVE YOU, GUS?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ DID YOU EVER?__ Old Gentleman( politely)._"OH, CONDUCTOR!
46349	[ Illustration:_ DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS.__ Flunkey._"APOLLO?
46349	[ Illustration:_ DIVISION OF LABOUR.__ Sportsman( in Standing Beans)._"WHERE TO NOW, JACK?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ DREADFUL DESTITUTION.__ First._"MY DEAR FRANK-- WHAT IS THE MATTER, OLD BOY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ EVENING PARTIES._"BILL, YOU GOES OUT A GOOD DEAL.--TELL US, IS IT THE KERRECT THING TO TAKE ONE''S''AT INTO A HEVENING PARTY?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ FRIGHTFUL.__ Clara._"WELL, ROSE, DEAR, AND HOW DO YOU FEEL AFTER THE PARTY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ GENTEEL PRACTICE.__ Apprentice._"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, SHALL I FILL UP MRS. TWADDLE''S DRAUGHTS WITH WATER?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ GOING OUT ARRESTING._"VELL, AARON, MY TEAR,''AVE YER''AD ANY SPORT?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ GREAT WANT OF VENERATION.__ Puer loquitur._"I SAY LOBSTER, SHALL I GO AND FETCH YOU A CAB?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ HALL ALONG OF THEM BETTING OFFICES.__ Betting Flunkey._"LOST?
46349	[ Illustration:_ HEART- BREAKING.__ Philanthropist._"WHAT NOW, MY MAN?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ HOW TO GET RID OF A GRATIS PATIENT._"SO YOU''VE TAKEN ALL YOUR STUFF, AND DON''T FEEL ANY BETTER, EH?
46349	[ Illustration:_ IMPROVEMENT IN IRISH AFFAIRS._"WHOO!--WILL ANY JINTLEMAN BE SO ENGAGIN''AS TO THREAD ON THE TAIL OF ME REGISTHERED PALLYTOE?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ IN CAMP.--HOSPITALITY.__ Officer._"WELL, BUT LOOK HERE, OLD FELLOW; WHY NOT STOP ALL NIGHT?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ IS IT SO?__ Old Lady( loq.
46349	[ Illustration:_ JUST THE MAN._"PLEASE, SIR, DID YOU WANT ANYBODY TO KEEP ORDER ON THESE HERE HUSTINGS ON POLLING DAY?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ LITTLE WOMEN.__ First Matron._"HAS YOUR DOLL HAD THE MEASLES, AMELIA?
46349	[ Illustration:_ MANLY SORROW.__ Swell on Horseback._"WHY, CHARLEY, WHAT''S THE MATTER, OLD BOY?
46349	[ Illustration:_ MEN OF THE WORLD.__ First Man of the World._"HEARD OF MISS F----''s MARRIAGE, CHARLEY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ MIGHT VERSUS RIGHT.__ Navigator._"WHAT''S THAT YOU SAY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ MUCH TOO CLEVER.__ Sharp( but vulgar Little Boy)._"HALLO, MISSUS, WOT ARE THOSE?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ NATIVE POLITENESS.__ Boy( to be- witch- ing Old Lady of Fashion)._"WAS YOU A LOOKING FOR A BROOM, MARM?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ NEW CRICKETING DRESSES TO PROTECT ALL ENGLAND AGAINST THE PRESENT SWIFT BOWLING._][ Illustration:_ AQUATICS._ WHO IS THIS?
46349	[ Illustration:_ NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS(?
46349	[ Illustration:_ NORTH- EAST WIND, THERMOMETER SEVERAL INCHES BELOW FREEZING.__ Brighton Boatman._"DID YOU WANT A PLEASURE BOAT THIS MORNING, SIR?
46349	[ Illustration:_ PLEASANT!__ Nervous Gentleman._"DON''T YOU THINK, ROBERT, GOING SO FAST DOWN HILL IS VERY LIKELY TO MAKE THE HORSE FALL?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ PLEASANT.__ Old Acquaintance._"AVE A DRAIN, BILL?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ POOR TOMMY._"WHY, WHAT''S THE MATTER WITH TOMMY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ PREPARING FOR THE DERBY._"I SAY, MISTER, JUST PUT US UP A COUPLE OF GREEN WEILS, WILL YER?
46349	[ Illustration:_ QUITE A NOVELTY.__ Amiable Experimentalist._"MAKES A DELICIOUS SIDE- DISH, DOESN''T IT?
46349	[ Illustration:_ RAILWAY MISERIES.__ Porter._"IS THIS YOUR LUGGAGE, SIR?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ RATHER SEVERE._"SHALL I''OLD YOUR''ORSE, SIR?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES.__ Mary._"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, IF YOU''VE DONE WITH THE INK, WILL YOU LET WILLIAM HAVE IT TO CLEAN YOUR BOOTS?
46349	[ Illustration:_ SCENE.--BUREAU OF THE CHIEFS OF THE DOUANES.__ French Official._"YOU HAVE PASSPORT?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ SEASONABLE QUESTION._"DID YOU WANT YER DOOR SWEPT, MARM?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ SOMETHING LIKE A HOLIDAY.__ Pastrycook._"WHAT HAVE YOU HAD, SIR?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ SPECULATORS._"THIS AIN''T SUCH A WERRY BAD IDEA, IS IT, JIM?
46349	[ Illustration:_ SYMPTOMS OF WET WEATHER.__ Tom._"HOLLO, SAM, WHAT THE JUICE ARE YOU CARRYING OF?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ TAKING IT COOLLY.__ Old Gent._"NOW, THEN, CABMAN, HOW MUCH TO THE STRAND?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE AGRICULTURAL DISTRESS DODGE.__ Beggar._"DID YOU GET THE LAMB''S FRY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE BEARD AND MOUSTACHE MOVEMENT.__ Railway Guard._"NOW, MA''AM, IS THIS YOUR LUGGAGE?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE BEARD MOVEMENT.--GAMMONING A GENT.__ Little Gent._"''OW MUCH?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE FISH DINNER._"THE WHITEBAIT SEEM VERY LARGE, WAITER?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE GREAT LINEN- DRAPERY NUISANCE.__ First Linen- draper._"WHAT''S THE NEXT ARTICLE, SIR?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE LOST ONE.__ Boy._"IF YOU PLEASE, M'', WAS YOU A LOOKING FOR A LITTLE DOG?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE MORNING AFTER THE DERBY.__ First Gent._"WELL, NED, HOW DID WE GET HOME LAST NIGHT?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE NEW GROOM.__ Gentleman._"DO YOU MEAN TO SAY THAT YOU UNDERSTAND THE CARE OF HORSES?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE RISING GENERATION.__ Juvenile Oxford Man( who does not think Vin Ordinaire of himself)._"A-- WERE YOU AT EITHER UNIVERSITY?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE RULING PASSION._"NOW, TELL ME, DEAR, IS THERE ANYTHING NEW IN THE FASHIONS?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE SILVER AGE.__ Emma._"WHAT DO YOU THINK, DEAR GRAN''MA?
46349	[ Illustration:_ THE TEST OF GALLANTRY.__ Conductor._"WILL ANY GENT BE SO GOOD AS FOR TO TAKE THIS YOUNG LADY IN HIS LAP?"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ TOWN AND COUNTRY.__ Country Footman meekly inquires of London Footman._"PRAY, SIR, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR TOWN?
46349	[ Illustration:_ TRAVELLERS''REQUISITES.__ Railway Porter._"ANY LUGGAGE, SIR?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ UNDENIABLE.__ Buyer._"IS HE WELL BROKE?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ UNLUCKY._"VAT''S THE MATTER, EH?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ USED UP.__ Grandmamma._"WHY, WHAT''S THE MATTER WITH MY PET?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ VERY ACCOMMODATING.__ Cabman._"WANT A CAB, SIR?
46349	[ Illustration:_ VERY FINE GENTLEMEN.__ Master of the House._"NOW, PRAY WHAT IS IT YOU COMPLAIN OF?
46349	[ Illustration:_ VERY LOW PEOPLE.__ Purveyor of Poultry._"WHAT SORT O''PEOPLE ARE THEY AT NUMBER TWELVE, JACK?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ VERY PARTICULAR.__ First Railway Porter._"WHAT DOES HE SAY, BILL?"
46349	[ Illustration:_ WE ALL HAVE OUR TROUBLES.__ Sister Mary._"WHY, CHARLEY, DEAR BOY, WHAT''S THE MATTER?
46349	[ Illustration:_ WHAT WILL HE DO WITH THEM?__ Youthful Costermonger._"NOW THEN, GUV''NER,''AVE THE LAST ROPE FOR A PENNY!"]
46349	[ Illustration:_ WHAT''S THE MATTER?_ MAN IS SUPPOSED TO HAVE TAKEN THE WRONG TURNING-- THAT''S ALL!]
46349	[ Illustration:_ WHOLESOME PREJUDICE._"RAILROADS, SIR?
46349	[ Illustration:_ WHY, INDEED?__ Perceptive Child._"MAMMA, DEAR!
46349	[_ Immense delight of Swell in gorgeous array._][ Illustration:_ A DELUSION.__ Dean._"WELL, SIR?"
46349	[_ Smokes for the next fifty miles._][ Illustration:_ FASHIONS FOR FAST MEN.__ Tom._"WHICH DO YOU LIKE BEST FOR TROUSERS, BILL, CHECKS OR STRIPES?"
46349	[_ Where are the Police?_][ Illustration:_ LONG VACATION._"NOW THEN, LATITAT, TUCK IN YOUR SIX- AND- EIGHTPENNY!"]
46349	_ Angelina._"OH, IT''S NOTHING OF CONSEQUENCE, DEAR-- SHALL I GIVE YOU SOME MORE TEA, DEAR?"
46349	_ Boy._"WAS IT A SPANNEL, MUM?"
46349	_ Cabman._"OH, NO, THERE AIN''T,_ NOT IF HE BELONGS TO YOU!_"][ Illustration:_ TURFITES._"I SAY, OLD FELLOW, HOW DO YOU GO TO THE DERBY THIS YEAR?"
46349	_ Carman._"FELL DOWN, HAS HE, SIR?
46349	_ Chambermaid._"TO BE SURE, IT''S YER HONOUR''S BED I''M WARMING; AND AIN''T OUR WARMING- PAN ENGAGED FRYING SAUSAGES?"]
46349	_ Driver._"OH, HAS HE?
46349	_ Edwin._"YES; BUT WHO IS MISS BRADSHAW?
46349	_ Emily._"FRIGHTS?
46349	_ Fox Hunter._"WHAT, THAT GENT?
46349	_ Gal._"WHERE DO YOU GO TO THE SEA- SIDE IN THE SUMMER?
46349	_ Garçon._"BIEN, M''SIEU''--VOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ZEE''TIMES''?"
46349	_ Genius._"AND THE RIGHT WAY TOO-- AIN''T IT?"]
46349	_ Genius._"BY THE WAY, DID YOU GLANCE OVER THAT ARTICLE OF MINE ON''THE INTELLECT OF WOMAN, AND HER SOCIAL POSITION?''
46349	_ Gentleman( of ungovernable temper)._"MY HAIR THIN ON THE TOP, SIR?
46349	_ Handsome Party( with moustaches, presence of mind, and great expression of eye)._"AND CAN''T YOU GUESS?"
46349	_ Lady._"WISH TO LEAVE?
46349	_ Lady._"YES?"
46349	_ MORE FREE THAN WELCOME._[ Illustration:_ Scene-- The Kitchen.__ Cook._"WHO WAS THAT AT THE DOOR, MARY?"
46349	_ Maid._"IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, HERE''S THE BUTCHER, AND MISSUS SAYS WHAT WILL YOU HAVE FOR DINNER TO- DAY?"]
46349	_ Mamma._"YOU ARE A DISAGREEABLE OLD BACHELOR, AND GENERALLY HATE CHILDREN, I KNOW-- BUT ISN''T DEAR LITTLE WORMWOOD A FINE, NOBLE LITTLE FELLOW?"
46349	_ Maria._"WELL, DEAR, NEVER MIND; BUT DO TELL ME,_ IS MY BONNET STRAIGHT_?"]
46349	_ Navigator._"_ YOU_ TAKE ME TO THE STATION- HOUSE?
46349	_ Official._"PROFESSION?"
46349	_ Official._"YOUR NAME?"
46349	_ Old Gent._"A PARSON?"
46349	_ Old Gent._"A SOLDIER?"
46349	_ Old Gent._"A SURGEON?"
46349	_ Old Gent._"WHAT IS IT-- A LAWYER?"
46349	_ Old Gent._"WHAT, THEN?"
46349	_ Old Lady._"MISS!!!!!?????"
46349	_ Old Lady._"MISS!!!!!?????"
46349	_ Old Lady._"MISS!!!!!?????"
46349	_ Old Lady._"MISS!!!!!?????"
46349	_ Old Lady._"MISS!!!!!?????"
46349	_ Old Lady._"WHAT IS IT, BOY?"
46349	_ Papa._"HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE HER, CHARLEY?
46349	_ Porter._"OH-- DO YOU, SIR?
46349	_ Potboy._"NOW THEN, WHAT IS IT?"
46349	_ Practitioner._"DEAR, DEAR ME, MR. BUMPS, HOW OFTEN MUST I MENTION THE SUBJECT?
46349	_ Prodigy( who picks up everything so readily)._"AH, AIN''T IT A STUNNER?"]
46349	_ Sarah Jane( who insists upon seeing the plate)._"LIKE ME?
46349	_ Second Boy._"WHO''LL PUNCH MY ED?"
46349	_ Second Boy._"_ YOU_ WILL?"
46349	_ Second Costermonger._"WHY DON''T I KEEP A CARRIDGE?
46349	_ Second Juvenile._"YA-- AS; AND-- AW-- WHAT DO YOU THINK THE UNDUTIFUL OLD GOVERNOR SA-- AYS?"
46349	_ Second Old Foozle._"THEN WHAT THE DEVIL DID YOU KEEP IT SO LONG FOR?"]
46349	_ THE PARLIAMENTARY FEMALE.__ Father of the Family._"COME, DEAR; WE SO SELDOM GO OUT TOGETHER NOW-- CAN''T YOU TAKE US ALL TO THE PLAY TO- NIGHT?"
46349	_ Uncle._"NOW THEN, WHAT IS IT?
46349	_ Youth._"SEEN THE HOUNDS GO THROUGH HERE, PIKEY?"
46349	_''Ousemaid( from Town)._"IS HANN JENKINS AT HOME?"
47400	A what, Master Frank-- a Jem Pansy?
47400	A what?
47400	An''how can I help it, Judy?
47400	Any luggage, sir?
47400	Arrah, Pat, why did yez bring me here into this dark hole now? 47400 At what hour did Mr. Heartwell quit this office?"
47400	At what hour, madam?
47400	At what hour?
47400	At whose suit?
47400	But are you not soon to leave me, Frank?
47400	But do they serve the officers so?
47400	But if this destruction of tea is to go on, what are_ we_ to do? 47400 But in Ormond Street,"urged the magistrate,"there you possibly had better light and more time-- what took place there?"
47400	But why are you dressed thus?
47400	But( we asked in continuation of our conversation) how could you talk with Buonaparte-- did he speak English?
47400	By whose authority?
47400	Can these be clocks?
47400	Can you bear an introduction to one who is able to explain every particular?
47400	Can you grope your way? 47400 Cease, my friends,"continued Polverel;"know ye not that deputies have arrived from San Domingo to sit in the great council of the nation?
47400	Cork is it? 47400 D''ye think, sir, that the gods above Shave themselves with razors?"
47400	Danger, sir?
47400	Did Mr. Heartwell take his timepiece with him?
47400	Did n''t you heear me call vater afore?
47400	Did you ever hear of such a_ dreadful_ creature?
47400	Did you see any more of him, sir?
47400	Did you see wot a imperent grin the little beast give?
47400	Do n''t be foolish, Mary,said my host, scarcely less frightened;"what should it be but the old sign?
47400	Do they call them Jem Pansies? 47400 Do you intend to open the window?"
47400	Donder und blitzen-- what wo n''t do?
47400	Donder und vind-- where are the crew?
47400	Euphemius Hipson, my dear, you can assist me to another lump of sugar?
47400	Fools!--do you believe in such nonsense as ghosts and spectres?
47400	Has anything occurred?
47400	Hauled his wind out of this?
47400	Have I been dreaming? 47400 Have I the honour to address his worthy lady?"
47400	Have a slice o''cold pudden, Bill?
47400	Have n''t I been a faithful and thrue wife to yez? 47400 Have not the wretches denounced me, because of the money they owed me, and their base designs upon my child?
47400	Have you seen my tiger?
47400	Have you seen the tiger? 47400 Have you seen the tiger?"
47400	How-- what is this?
47400	I have put a plain and simple question to you, sir; will you oblige me with an answer?
47400	I knew I was right,said he:"Brady, do you know me now?"
47400	I suppose, sir, we had better_ get the man together_?
47400	I''ll have a bit of fish, waiter,--which do you recommend to day?
47400	I''m bless''d, young gentleman, but you do shake a cloth or two in the wind-- but there, what''s the odds so as you''re happy? 47400 In the event of your leaving, would the gentleman you have named feel disposed to part with it, think you?"
47400	In the name of wonder,said he,"what''s the matter?"
47400	In vain,she cried,"your powers, Take any shape you may; Are hearts less wise than flowers, That know the night from day?"
47400	Is it a fairy,said the Jewess,"or a household demon?
47400	Is there any strange watch or clock in the house that you know of?
47400	Is your tea agreeable, my dear Miss Dibsley?
47400	It must be some trick,said Mrs. Heartwell;"can you hear it distinctly?"
47400	Keep her right before it, my man; how''s her head now?
47400	Lately, why have n''t you heard? 47400 Mr. Heartwell has been heard of; but are you really able to endure whatever of joy or sorrow may betide--""Joy?--joy?"
47400	My dear fellow, I''m going out-- a particular engagement-- been kept in all the morning;--will Friday do? 47400 My dearest madam,_ you_ eat a sausage?"
47400	Now, Tim, who_ is_ that? 47400 Now, then, young imp, wot''s the damage?"
47400	Of course I must,replied the gentleman;"I can not expect you to trust me; what can I do?
47400	Of whom are you speaking?
47400	Of_ what_?
47400	Oh, what is this, Frank?
47400	Pray, Mr. Shipkins, do you remember the number of the coach in which Mr. Heartwell left here last night?
47400	Pray,said the magistrate, addressing the coachman,"had you sufficient light or opportunity to observe the person of the officer?"
47400	Shall we take possession of the land, in the name of his most Christian Majesty?
47400	Shipkins has been taken,said Mr. Wendover,"and he has confessed--?"
47400	Should you know the gentleman again?
47400	So when master said,''Well, Jacky, will you have any more pudding?'' 47400 So you''ve heard tell of that, have you?"
47400	That young gemman''s in a very good humour, ai n''t he, Tom? 47400 These, sir?"
47400	Vant a cab, sir?
47400	Vhere''s shall I drive, sir?
47400	Was Mr. Heartwell here yesterday?
47400	Was it all a delusion?
47400	Was the officer sober?
47400	Wel sie valtz, Fraulein?
47400	Were you not at all acquainted with the object to which your husband alluded?
47400	What cheer, what cheer, my lad, eh?
47400	What do you?
47400	What does she go?
47400	What has I getten to sup t''''morn, Tam?
47400	What has she_ done_?
47400	What is all this?
47400	What is all this?--who do you want?
47400	What is it then?
47400	What is''t,says he,"your majesty Would wish of me to- day?"
47400	What shall it be-- my surtout coat? 47400 What sort of a man was he?"
47400	What was that?
47400	What write you, troubled spirit?
47400	What''s that?
47400	What, a real tiger, yer honour? 47400 What, what has he confessed?"
47400	What-- what is it?
47400	What?
47400	What?
47400	Where have you been, scoundrels?
47400	Where is he, Ben, where is he?
47400	Where''s my tiger?
47400	Where''s this egg?
47400	Who cares for mocking billows, Or demons of the deep? 47400 Who has dared to let him loose?
47400	Who has let loose my tiger?
47400	Who, and what are you?
47400	Why a then, wil''t have a sup?
47400	Why a, I''se getten yal-- dos''t like yal, Tam?
47400	Why a, now, what maks thee say_ Ay_ sae aften?
47400	Why do n''t you stop her, Mary?
47400	Why what did he wear then?
47400	Wil''t have it_ otted_, Tam?
47400	Will you put that window down, Sir?
47400	Will you, Sir, or will you not put down that window?
47400	Wine with me, sir?
47400	Yes, sir-- we have the same bin now-- the port you mean, sir?
47400	You are, I presume, in Mr. Brady''s service?
47400	You wish to speak to me, sir?
47400	You''ll take a glass of ale or so? 47400 Your H- opposition coach and a pair of horses?"
47400	''All right?''
47400	''Ay,''says Tom and the others,''now you''ll believe it, von''t you?''
47400	''Did n''t you?''
47400	''Done vot?''
47400	''Lost, how?''
47400	''No,''says, he;''shall I say you''re a coming into Bristol?''
47400	''On a bay cob?''
47400	''Veil,''ses I,''as I vas never here afore, t''aint_ werry_ likely as I have heerd of''un; but who is he?''
47400	''Vhy not?''
47400	''Vot old chap?''
47400	''Well, Quashie,''I said,''you have got here I see, but which of you won?''
47400	''and, Mr. Banks,''says I,''what shall I order for your supper?''"
47400	( I had light-- very light hair)"vot are yer a looking at now?--a com- paring that ugly phiz o''yourn with a gen''leman''s?"
47400	("What, all?"
47400	***** P.S.--May we ask who threw That shell in the_ Horse Guards_, With one in the barrack- yards To blow up the_ Gallery_ too?
47400	--"Hadn''t I better read it for myself?"
47400	--"They were gained,"he would say,"under Nelson, fighting for my king and country-- and what''s the odds so as you''re happy?"
47400	--"What danger can there be when there''s hardly wind enough to fill the canvas?"
47400	--"Why not, man?"
47400	--''But will he pay?''
47400	1 ready?
47400	A thing more gentle, laughing, light, More blythe, more full of play, Than e''er_ he_ was-- that luckless wight!-- The lamb you stuck to- day?
47400	Again, mark you his freckles-- whoever saw such in the face of beauty?
47400	Am I to read?
47400	And Sarah faintly answers,"Yes, did you hear that?"
47400	And for the_ life_ of the scene?
47400	And thou, O Dog, with deep- set eyes, Wert thou, like Love, once blind; With helpless limbs, of pigmy size, And voice that scarcely whined?
47400	And what is friendship but a name, That boils on Etna''s breast of flame?
47400	And what''s become of him, my boy?"
47400	And when did he first see your phiz Reflected in his own?
47400	And when your guns are run out, why what''s the use on''em if you do n''t clap a match to the touch- holes and pour in a reg''lar broadside?"
47400	And where could he have found a more fitting place?
47400	Are you determined to destroy yourself, or are you aware of your danger?"
47400	Art thou descended from the pair From whom the Cæsars came?
47400	Asaph?"
47400	At last one little quaking Miss ventures half- stifled to whisper,"Sarah, are you awake?"
47400	Ay, who, sir, who?
47400	Be em a live un or a stuffed un?"
47400	Berry well-- me bet you fippenny me make you go-- No?
47400	Besides, do not you invite ladies in particular to patronise your omnibus, and promise to accommodate them?
47400	Bond?''
47400	But are you sure it''s the same?
47400	But gracious goodness, what''s the time?
47400	But how comes it that my simple little cat( Dummy by name) called up, the other evening, by a very ordinary movement, the image of Cleopatra?
47400	But how far does it go?
47400	But how was poor Spitz to know what the season was, or tell what his master himself had forgotten?
47400	But is n''t this a good deal like cutting his own nose off?"
47400	But may not patent- ice pavements be laid down in our popular thoroughfares?
47400	But there, what''s the odds so as you''re happy?"
47400	But what are we about?
47400	But what avails, if fleeting praise Alone the poet''s labour pays?
47400	But what is a dun?
47400	But what poet ever found a steep so difficult as that_ gradus ad Parnassum_ to the seemingly dislocated donkey?
47400	But what''s the odds, my lady, so as you''re happy?"
47400	But where was the daughter?
47400	But will the advantages end here?
47400	Butcher''s cur, is''t true That_ thy_ first parents e''er From Eden''s garden lapp''d the dew, And breathed in rapture there?
47400	Butcher- boy, Thou com''st of Adam''s race?
47400	By twelve o''clock in the day there was a vast accumulation; and at that hour, the master of the house would say,"James, are all the doors shut?"
47400	Can they well be otherwise, when they worship a deity so remorseless and so unfeeling?
47400	Can we assume that, in the nature of a mountebank balancing on his chin a ladder surmounted by a long- eared brute, there is no room for vanity?
47400	Cavil?"
47400	Cold and wet, is n''t it?"
47400	Come, roundly, your reason, sir?
47400	Commonplace and even plebeian, as is the simple question"Who are you?"
47400	Could I think of treading in the boots of a blackleg, albeit they never were his own?
47400	Could ever flower with thee compare?
47400	Could his eyes have ceased to possess discriminating power?
47400	Death?
47400	Did I not foretel the death of Louis?
47400	Did I not predict the downfal of monarchy in France?
47400	Did I not say the king of Sweden was given over to destruction?
47400	Did n''t I lock you up for thieving-- didn''t I?"
47400	Do you happ''n to know a cove in London by the name o''Ketch-- Jack Ketch?"
47400	Do you mutiny?"
47400	Do you suppose that a gentleman would come here_ without_ such an_ indispensable_ article of dress?"
47400	Do you think other people is as vicked as yerself?"
47400	Does Jack heave one sigh in compliment to the illustrious absentees, and in depreciation of the company who_ have_ assembled?
47400	Does he mean to say he has ever met with any one of these lines_ before?_][ Footnote 3: Burke.]
47400	Euphemius, my dear, will you read?--Martha, you can take away.--Beg pardon, any more tea, Miss Dibsley?
47400	Haste then and flee from the wrath to come, for have I not prophesied, and it hath come to pass?--Have I not foretold, and the fulfilment is at hand?
47400	Have I not declared that England would be deserted by her allies?
47400	Have you ever been to sea?"
47400	Have you seen my Ben-- g- g- gal?"
47400	He turned to Peach and demanded--"Who and what are you?--how came you here?--who has dared to let you in?--speak-- who are you?"
47400	He turns round!--where is the smile of exultation?
47400	How canst thou look thus calmly on, And watch them slowly die the while?
47400	How grew your legs so like to_ his_, Your growl so like his tone?
47400	How is it?"
47400	How often do we every day jump from one point to another, as distinct in themselves as the sublime and the ridiculous, and far more widely asunder?
47400	How then could a vessel in this forlorn condition continue afloat or contend with so fierce a gale?
47400	How?
47400	Howsomever I hope I arnt frightened you; but what''s the odds so as you''re happy?"
47400	Howsomever, up I gets, and, says I to my box- companion, you wo n''t mind if I goes a little fast, will you?
47400	Hurrah!--what''s the odds?"
47400	I carn''t conthrol the say or the ship as I would a horse upon the turf-- long life to it-- what would you have?"
47400	I guessed his meaning by this time; but affecting ignorance, I asked,"What is that wonderful animal without any inside?"
47400	I locked him up last night for robbing the larder, and this morning he is missing; where is he?"
47400	I s''pose his mother know_ he''s_ out?
47400	I''spose the old man an''her do n''t agree no better?
47400	If I recollect right, you had some good wine here once?"
47400	If I should demand my Hessians, was there a probability of obtaining them?
47400	If talents rare no more can claim Than idle transitory fame?
47400	If, when the mind is worn away, Pale misery waits on dim decay?
47400	In visions of a future day, I see thy long- lost form appear; And, o''er the counter, whispering, say--"Pray can you make it cheaper,_ dear_?"
47400	Is it not so, men?"
47400	Is it then asked, why this individual should excite at once in my boyish bosom such lively feelings of horror-- such forebodings of evil?
47400	Is the room actually filled with clocks, or am I the victim of enchantment?"
47400	It may be said"What''s in a hat?"
47400	It was a Squire, a gentle squire, Came spurring darkly down below; His steed was splashed with foam and mire, Oh, what but love could urge him so?
47400	It was the same man who responded to the"Why?"
47400	Look''d Cheops much the same?
47400	May it not, therefore, be looked upon as a wise and kind ordination of providence, to prepare the mind for disastrous events that are to follow?
47400	Miffler,_ what do you do that for_?
47400	Mr. Gunn consented, Mrs. Gunn consented, Sarah consented, and they all consented; could anything be fairer?
47400	Márid?"
47400	No Punch and Judy now; it''s unlegal by the law; ai n''t you awor o''the New Police Act what''s put it down?"
47400	Now Mrs. Framp,_ what did you do that for_?
47400	Now prayers and cards are all the go-- How''s that you ask?
47400	Now we cry,"When_ will_ it leave off?"
47400	Now, my excellent good Fred,_ what the deuce did you do that for_?
47400	Now, reader, what song do you suppose this young gentleman, who scarce sings at all, will select?
47400	Now, vot do you stand ringing o''the money for?
47400	Now, what on earth_ do you do that for_, Brown?
47400	One half sleep on our pillows, While t''others deck- watch keep; Who cares for lightning''s flashing, boys, Or noisy thunder''s roar?
47400	Or shall I see you at the club?"
47400	Pat, an why did yez bring me here?"
47400	R. O. D. What more remains?
47400	Rather an old- fashioned sort of thing, an enigma, eh?
47400	Ses I,''Vhy do n''t you get down then?''
47400	Shall we caulk the ship, or set up the rigging?
47400	Shall we darn our stockings, or go on shore for fresh water?
47400	Shall we mend the sails, or mend our clothes?
47400	She sat and watch''d one summer''s eve-- Why doth she so?
47400	So I ses, ses I,''Vot''s the row, sir?''
47400	So at that I puts the werry top o''my eyes over the bed- clothes, and there I saw----""What?"
47400	So you''d better answer it at once, Laura, declining it, you know-- eh?"
47400	Springing forward therefore quickly, we exclaimed,"For heaven''s sake, madam, what are you about?
47400	Stephen''s Chapel_?
47400	Still no egg came; the bell rang once more:"Where_ is_ the egg?"
47400	That''ll do-- thank you-- charming!--These Chinese, I believe, have nothing of a navy?"
47400	The Mighty Watcher had fallen asleep, but who could say that he never again was to wake up?
47400	The bellows which yet bear the inscription,"Who rides on these bellows?
47400	The officer took up the newspaper and read for ten minutes, then wondered why his egg did not arrive, and rang the bell.--"My egg?"
47400	The one a feeble pup; A babe the other, fondly nursed-- How_ have_ ye been brought up?
47400	The servant- maid looked aghast, yet the accustomed spirit of inquiry, Who was he?
47400	The"any orders?"
47400	Then Adam''s gold has much alloy!-- Was this_ his_ form and face?
47400	There was a dun at the very entrance to their"shades below;"how could any place of torment be complete without one?
47400	There''s nothin''very pleasant in rising blisters in the mouth-- is there, sir?"
47400	Those who know Krähwinkel( and who, I should like to know, is not acquainted with that famous city?)
47400	Tom, is that''ere elderly lady come, as ve vaited for last trip?
47400	Trotter?"
47400	Upon meeting, the following colloquy took place:--"Well, Tom, how goes it at the Placquet, eh?
47400	Vell, old Tom Martin was the boots; he as come arterwards to our place, you know, Juggles?"
47400	Vot has give you the blues?"
47400	WHAT DO YOU DO THAT FOR?
47400	Was I, therefore, what the statement I have quoted would lead anybody to infer I was, the companion of dustmen, hodmen, coal- heavers, and scavengers?
47400	Was ever star so soft and fair?
47400	Was he a man of sober habits and reputable character?"
47400	Well, but this Primly-- what can_ he_ want?
47400	Well, now, sir, what do you think I should find when I goes the first thing on Monday morning to our office?"
47400	Well, one day at dinner, Jacky had only had once of meat, but he''d two helps of pood;""Of what?"
47400	What account was taken of the roadside tent- holders, and the number of the families of these real"potwallopers?"
47400	What answer could I make?
47400	What are yours?"
47400	What can she be about?
47400	What can she mean?
47400	What can you do?
47400	What connexion is there between shirt- frills and glass bottles?
47400	What do you do that for?
47400	What does he mean?
47400	What good can passion do?
47400	What has this Emperor of Delf been doing?
47400	What is it, then, that thus operates on the faculties to produce these symptoms?
47400	What is to become of the tee- totallers, Miss Dibsley?''
47400	What saw we then?
47400	What shall it be-- my boots, my new white top- boots?"
47400	What shall we do first?
47400	What was there wonderful in that?
47400	What was to be done?
47400	What''s that your fast hoss?
47400	What''s the odds so as you''re happy?"
47400	What_ did_ he want?
47400	What_ does_ he want with you?
47400	When will you have your dinner?"
47400	Whence the ray, that could impart Each subtle trace That defines the mother''s heart, The matron''s grace?
47400	Whence the throes of jealousy That struggling rise, Big with mimic agony To those young eyes?
47400	Where should Othello go?
47400	Where then, it may be asked, are the addenda to be placed at the end of each century?
47400	Who are you?
47400	Who dared to penetrate into the mysteries of the yellow caravans there collected, or invade the Bohemian seclusion of the tilted hovels?
47400	Who was it that astonished his hearers by declaring that beefsteak- pudding always put him in mind of Westminster Abbey?
47400	Who will?
47400	Who, sir, who?
47400	Who, who, who?
47400	Why ca n''t they spell the name properly?"
47400	Why ca n''t you be cool like me?
47400	Why for you no bet?--why for you no go ober?"
47400	Why make of Tom a_ dullard_, And Ned a_ genius_?"
47400	Why should I be dragged out of my wretched nook here, without an appetite, and against my will?
47400	Why will not she her lattice leave?
47400	Why, where are the shows?
47400	Will he wait five minutes?
47400	Will you look over this music- book?
47400	Will you walk in, and the young gentleman with you?"
47400	Wore Alexander such an air?
47400	Would you like to take some more cake, Miss Dibsley?
47400	Would you like to wait, or will you call again?"
47400	Yes, who, sir, who?
47400	Yet where is the pious individual who would feel no tremor, if left to pass the night within the gothic aisles of such an edifice?
47400	Yet who can predicate at two o''clock that he shall be happy at a quarter past?
47400	Yet why?
47400	Yet, can I call it peace?
47400	You did n''t take them away with you when you took the boots, did you?"
47400	You do n''t recollect me-- what must I do?"
47400	You, perhaps, would exercise your influence in my favour?"
47400	_ He!_--powers of impudence in the garb of intimacy, where will ye find a limit?
47400	_ Who''ll_ set the Thames on fire?
47400	_ Who_ burnt the_ House of Lords_?
47400	_ Who_ burnt_ Woolwich Dockyard_, eh?
47400	_ Who_ fired the_ Royal Exchange_?
47400	_ Who_ tried to fire the_ Bank_?
47400	_ what do you do that for?_ Why in the name of common sense do you say No!
47400	and if I should obtain them, was there a possibility of my ever wearing them again?
47400	and wert thou once a child, A cherub small and soft, On whom two human beings smiled, And pray''d for, oft and oft?
47400	and what''s the use of writing a volume upon it, as many of our contemporaries might?
47400	asked I,"before railroads were thought of?"
47400	bright blades again a countryman''s fist?
47400	cried Mrs. T. with a scream,"what danger, sir?
47400	cruel Fate, why made you My children differ thus?
47400	demanded the excited woman in a tone assuming peremptory command;"what is it that produces so loud and peculiar a noise?"
47400	did you bring any of_ your_ music?"
47400	do you call that English fashion?
47400	do you mean to keep me waiting all day?"
47400	does she meditate self- destruction?
47400	echoed the showman, for an instant raising his eyes;"Ai n''t it enough to make a heart of stone bleed to see this here Fair?
47400	exclaimed he;"in your just fury the eye of reason is dimmed-- is he not a man and a brother?"
47400	exclaimed our gentleman, in a towering passion,"what do you mean to imply, sir?
47400	exclaimed the seaman, looking earnestly in the youth''s face,"Heartwell,--Muster Frank Heartwell as was in the ould Robust?"
47400	giving way to the indulgence of sorrow at a moment when prosperity is again extending the right hand of good- fellowship?
47400	groaned John,"as-- what, eh?"
47400	have you been coming across the fields?
47400	he broke cover and stole away this morning-- he must be prowling somewhere about-- have you seen him?"
47400	he exclaimed,"why, do n''t you see the poor old Exquisite a coming by itself?"
47400	how is this?
47400	inquired the friend,--"what_ are_ those_ things_?"
47400	is it so?
47400	no doubt, Jemima; but what in the name of goodness gracious am I to do in London?
47400	oh!--a-- yes-- that man, yes,--you did n''t say I was at home?"
47400	or was there living the caitiff wretch so utterly reprobate as to call his loved---- by such names?
47400	repeated Frank, in surprise;"why how could they do that?"
47400	repeated she with eagerness,"is there then hope, that you use that term?
47400	replied Vanderdecken,"or do you think me such an ass as to credit you?
47400	returned Mrs. Heartwell, as she strove to subdue the feelings which agitated her,"and who have I now in the wide world but you?"
47400	said Kitty, blushing red, And gave his cap a toss over;"Are you?
47400	shall we not be rebels?"
47400	since all this is so far out of the reach of description, how shall I show you Rachel?''
47400	sir?"
47400	there again?"
47400	was n''t that funny?"
47400	were you in her, in Frejus Bay, when Buonaparte embarked for Elba?"
47400	wert thou, Butcher- boy?
47400	what has''t getten to sup te''''morn?"
47400	what hast getten to sup, I say?"
47400	what were ye both_ at first_?
47400	what_ is_ the matter?"
47400	when you thoroughly believe all that poor Dickson has been telling you?
47400	where are the people?
47400	where are the swings?
47400	where are the turn- abouts-- the round- abouts?
47400	where have you been?"
47400	where,_ where_ is the Fair?
47400	who can ask it?
47400	who, sir, who?
47400	ye Nine?
47400	you no go ober?
47400	your Niger men declare( For want of something better,_ q_?)