Digitized by tine Internet Arciiive in 2007 witii funding from IVIicrosoft Corporation http://www.archive.org/details/boyscontroladselOOmilericli A BOY'S CONTROL AND SELF-EXPRESSION, WORKS, etc., by EUSTACE MILES, ma, lo, ST. PAUL'S ROAD, CAMBRIDGE. Cassell's "Physical Educator," 9/-. (post free, 9/7), ** Muscle, Brain, and Diet," 3/6 (post free, 3/10). " Let's Play the Game," i/- nett (post free, 1/2). " Some of My Recipes," \ "An Alphabet of Athletics,"' i/- each (post free, 1/2), " Good Digestion," j Character-Building and Moral Memory Training- A Home Course of Four Lessons, with Exercises, by correspondence. Three Guineas. A Writer's Training. Practical Hints for would-be journalists, essayists, and literary men. A Home Course of Five Lessons, with Exercises, by corre- spondence. Three Guineas. Individual Health-Courses, with a view to all- round fitness, physical and mental. Twq Guineas. Question-forms sent on application, by card or letter, to 10, St. Paul's Road, Cambridj^e. A BOY'S CONTROL AND SELF-EXPRESSION ( Illustrated with about 250 Fifrs.) BY EUSTACE MILES, M.A. rormerly Scholar of King's College, Cambridge, Assistant Master at Rugby School, and Honours Coach and Lecturer at Cam- bridge ; Author of " Muscle, Brain, and Diet," " Avenues to Health," How to I'repare Essays," etc. ; Editor of Cassell's '♦Physical Educator," Routledge's "Fitness Series," etc.; Amateur Champion of America at Racquets, Tennis, and Squash-Tennis, 1900, and of England at Racquets, 1902, at Tennis 1899 to 1903, Holder of the Gold Prize. "bra OF THE UNIVERSITY CAMBRIDGE: Published by the Author, 10, St. Paul's Road. 1904. [Copyright. — Entered at Stationers' Hall] . :i FOR ALL-ROUND FITNESS. 1. A Home Course of Lessons, by correspondence, in Character - Building and Moral Memory Training : with Exercises. Three Guineas. A man's present and future character and actions depend an his dominant memories, which he can re-form easily by sensible and unobtrusive practices and habits, such as are fully described in this Course. 2. T^e Eustace Miles Individual Health-Courses, devised and sent to those who fill in the personal question-forms and enclose the fee of Ttvo Guineas. Prospectuses Free, on application by card or letter to Eustace Miles, M.A., at lo, St. Paul's Road, Cambridge. PREFACE. ix. or TMl IVER8ITY veface- Vsiifei^ IT is supposed that a book should keep within reach, or at least within sight, of a single point, as anyone walking round St. Mary's of the Scilly Isles usually keeps within sight of the simple- looking Marconi Station. My book usually keeps within sight of a single idea, which I will express in a somewhat long sentence. Fairly considering all that I know now, what training of body and mind should I choose if I were allowed to become a boy again^ and if I wanted tc prevent the most serious mistakes as easily as possible and with as little attention to them as possible, so as to avoid morbidness or crankiness or priggishness ? I must have read quite a hundred and fifty books and papers on the subject of purity for boys, but not one of them answered my question. Almost every one — there were, of course, some exceptions — brought before me a picture of an immaculate perfection, clothed in black, standing on an inaccessible platform of genteel propriety, and, as a rule, hopelessly out of touch with the real boy, as we see him in life and in such books as " The Golden Age," " The Human Boy," *' Stalky and Co.," and ''Vice-Versa." Throughout these works I was sick of the " Do not do this, my juvenile friend "; " Avoid any such B X. PREFACE. error; I, the spotless preacher, warn you against it." Throughout I longed to ask, How did you fare your- self, genteel sir ? Did yotc ever make mistakes ? Were yotc ever a boy ? I owe valuable information to some of these works ; but that is the first fault, the personal secretiveness or respectability — it does not matter which name we use. The pages seldom or never are redeemed by the saving touch of " This is my personal experience. Take it for what it is worth." As to the ways, on which they insist dogmatically for all alike, some of them are too vague. The books talk about " good " exercise ; but what is good exercise for the boy ? They talk about " nourishing " food ; but what is nourishing food for the boy ? They are far too vague and abstract. Many of their ways are not feasible for the boy. For example, they tell the boy to avoid impure air, unwholesome diet, and all sorts of things which it is not in the power of the boy to avoid. Without this avoidance, they say, the boy has no chance. Nor do they give a fair estimate of the ways that they order ; the immediate results of these ways they utterly ignore. For instance, while some recommend wholemeal bread as the food-basis for boys, they omit to cite that many Russian recruits take months before their wholemeal (rye) staple begins to suit them. Eventually they may find that it suits them admirably ; but at first they feel sure they are being starved. Indeed, few of these works are for boys. Most of them are not for vigorous human men either. They PREFACE. XI. ■do not seem to be written by a human being at all. If you could only feel that the writer himself had had any difficulties, instead of being impressed by the fact that he had always lived on a pinnacle of his own, high above you, you could read his book with more patience and interest. The author's need is to become a boy, and to realise the advice as it strikes a boy. What, for instance, is a boy's picture of such ideas as " righteous," " virtuous," *' holy," and even " godly " ? Do these words suggest to the boy that which interests and attracts him, that which tends to make him a better boy, not a better premature old man ? Do they help him to play the game of life, to be sportsmanlike ? And too many of the books centre in a sickening manner round the mistakes, instead of centring round thorough fitness, and pleasant, useful success. In dealing with mistakes, again, the writers are far too definite with regard to the results of mistakes. They give horrible descriptions of supposedly inevi- table and immediate effects. And, at times, they show a great deal of ignorance about the body and the mind. Now how can one avoid writing this type of book ? In the first place it is necessary to study anatomy and physiology (especially the anatomy and physi- ology of boys), as well as hygiene, physical educa- tion, psychology, mental education. On these subjects, and on the whole subject from other points of view, I have collected in recent years piles of notes which, if arranged and put direct into Xll. PREFACE. a book, would be two or three times the size of the " Physical Educator." But I was not at all pleased with anything that I had prepared and written. The difficulty was not to collect ideas, but to select and omit. It became a matter chiefly of the point of view. I wanted to appeal both to boys and to men at the same time. It was only after many unsatisfactory trials that I decided on the present title and nature of the book. An earlier work of mine, ** Muscle,. Brain, and Diet," had succeeded beyond my expec- tations. It gave my personal experiences quite candidly, and asked readers to judge by all-round results after fair trial. In subsequent editions of this book I admitted that there had been failures; that my diet did not suit every one. Here my point of view is similar, but slightly different. It was suggested to me by the remark of a Public School master who really understands boys. Hesaid^ How splendid it would be to come back to school as a boy, knowing all that one knows now ! How one would enjoy oneself, not playing the fool, but, on the other hand, not working too hard. This point of view led me to ask myself the question above, as to what I should choose if I were allowed this privi- lege ; what I should choose with a view to pleasanter self-control and less unsatisfactory self-expression. The chapter on the early mastery of many alphabets. will show, I hope, that the things which I should choose for my own training would not be morbid ; that they would just be ordinary things, such as even a man could practise without becoming obnoxious* PREFACE. Xlll. They include more leisurely eating and drinking, leisurely breathing, leisurely washing, drill to im- prove skill at games and athletics, and so forth. Indeed, I am really still learning some of these things now — very late, but not too late. The best testimony to their effect in my case is that I am enjoying myself more and more in con- sequence of this training. Self-control becomes easier and pleasanter, and self-expression becomes safer and pleasanter too. The ways are not ascetic and hard. I find that in food and in everything else I can follow my desires more and more securely. And the training does not centre round the objec- tionable aspect of the matter. The treatments seem to be equally preventive of most if not all sorts of mistakes. The earlier the alphabets are mastered, the better. Let me cite, as an example, more thorough mastication, or, to call it by its less sombre name, more leisurely eating. Within certain limits, the habit is an extremely valuable one from every single point of view, except perhaps the social. It is a habit which certainly does not suggest anything morbid, and yet affects the whole of life. The boy who can eat every mouthful of food somewhat more thoroughly and leisurely than the average boy does, should have gained a wonderful command of his temper and passions and actions. Whereas sheer and unintelligent will-power, of the bull-dog, run - at -a -wall -with - your - head - down type, might have been of little use to him in difficulties, XIV. PREFACE. half a dozen habits like leisurely eating and rhythm- ical breathing may train his body and mind to a marvellous habit of fitness. Indeed, I confess I do not like the use of this sheer, unintelligent will, where I have found that simple tactics, together with some will, would be equally or more effective. I speak for m)'self, without daring to dictate to others. Throughout the book there is the touch of per- sojiality, and there is the candour of one who does not pose as faultless ; though, on the other hand,, there has been no need to put down all the details, or indeed any of the details, over which the morbid books gloat. It is quite sufficient to allude to the mistake. For surely it is at least that. I assume that it is a mistake, and I call it that, and so avoid the unsavoury words that infest the ordinary pages. To strike a happy mean between an unnecessary shock to tender feelings, and equally unnecessary reserve, has been extremely difficult. In fact, it would have been almost impossible without the help of comparisons and contrasts to lead the way to the truth, and to remove shame from those members that "have not the same office," those members that in themselves have nothing improper or indecent about them, and are only made improper by wrong- mindedness. But a glance at the Table of Contents will give the reader the best notion of the scope of the book. He will see that, after the introductory chapters^ which search for causes of mistakes and insist on PREFACE. XV. proper ambitions and responsibilities being set before boys, and insist on individuality being studied, there follow many simple and feasible helps, first external and physical, then mental. In the concluding chap- ters, difficulties and limitations are recognised, and an attempt is made to estimate the power which exists for reform among various classes. In Appen- dices there are given some valuable notes on Blood- pressure, by a medical man of wide experience and study, and a plea for Latin rightly taught — which Appendices show that I rely on the help of the medical profession, and do not desire to revolutionise every established custom. The general conclusions at which I have arrived are that there are very many potent causes of mistakes ; that there are very many actually effective helps, especially preventive helps, which I have seen succeeding admirably at various schools and else- where, even when only one or two helps have been tried at a time ; that these helps are little known by most boys or indeed by most men ; that they are quite simple and — in nearly every case — unobtrusive, yet tending to all-round fitness. Take, for instance, the above-mentioned habit of leisurely eating and a better position of the body and better ways of breathing, and less stimulating — but not any the less nourishing — food. Such things must tend to all- round fitness. Yet they need not call the boy's attention to anything foul and undesirable. They just train him, without the constant allusion to the mistakes which he might possibly make. XVI. PREFACE. The general impression left on my mind by a study of the whole matter is a feeling of hopefulness, since the causes are so many ; the mistakes so few ; the helps and preventives so many, so easy, so little known. There seems no reason to despair, especially when we remember that more helps and better helps are bound to be added soon. Not the least important part of my work is the chapter on limitations. It also should leave in the reader's mind the general impression of hope, since, with all these limitations, there exists, comparatively, so little of the undesirable. The book allows for what exists, and will exist for the present — for instance, certain wrong ways of feeding. It does not, like some other books, suggest a clean sweep, an upsetting of every orthodox usage. Nor does it set itself up as an infallible com- mandment - book of universal application. It is nothing of the kind. It invites criticisms and suggestions — such suggestions of experiences, etc., as I have already received from time to time in the form of letters from various boys and men. The book includes a blank page on which these sug- gestions may be written. Needless to say, such information will be regarded as strictly confidential. For there is no finality in the present book or in any part of it. It only gives the best that I can offer up to date, the best as based on personal experience and various letters from friends and acquaintances and strangers, various talks, and a study as wide as I could make it, including a study PREFACE. XVn. of all kinds of religious, educational, hygienic, and athletic books. Let me take this opportunity to thank all those who have helped me so much in different parts of the work, including Miss M. Dovaston, who has done the illustrations so effec- tively. The helps which I suggest have been tried per- sonally by me, and there seems to be no harm in any one of them. There are no expensive ways. In the book itself, no proprietary goods are mentioned. No operations, no drugs are cited. In fact, from one point of view, the book may be regarded as omitting far too much. But that was necessary if it was to emphasise the easy ways, the unostentatious simplicities. The object of the book is to make a boy far more independent by the practice of plain little things, plain little physical and mental habits. The boy is to learn the habit of self-control and self-expression and self-respect chiefly by apparently alien things, including physical exercises. It is quite as easy — if not much easier — for the boy to get his self-control and self-expression and self-respect in this way. There must be patience, too — the habit of patience, developed in many ways, so that the boy will let the seeds gradually grow into the harvest, and let the weeds die, perhaps of slow starvation. As to the mistakes, I have tried to touch on them gently. I should rather have avoided mention of them altogether; but the probability is that, if the boy is not told of the mistakes from the right point XVlll. PREFACE. of view, he will be told of them from the wrong- point of view by some stable-boy. There are sure to be old and rotten threads, alike of prudery and profligacy, of false shame and false humour, to be drawn out of most boys' (and men's) minds before — or at least while — fresh and clean threads are put in their minds' warp and woof. But there is no neces- sity to hinge all the ideas upon the mistakes ; that seems the wrong way of regarding them. It is necessary to touch on them ; it is utterly unnecessary to linger on them. And, indeed, I hope that the reader will be struck by the ■" unsuggestiveness," the simplicity, the safety^ the reasonableness of the helps which I offer, and by the fact that anyone can easily go on adding fresh helps of his own, without giving up the old. Until such helps have been fairly tried, there should be no scathing condemnation of the boy, by himself or by others. The helps will be found useful, it is hoped, by a good many young men as well as boys. It is chiefly from young men and men that I have re- ceived letters asking for advice ; boys seem to be too shy to write. I take this opportunity of saying that I am not in a position to give personal advice gratuitously. If I once began this, my time would be fully occupied by that work alone. I must confine myself to refer- ring readers here to other books for further details, and especially to books on diet and exercise. For — once more — this is not a complete guide^ PREFACE. XIX. And among other unsatisfactory features in it is this : that I cannot clearly describe the ideal at which I aim. That ideal is purity. The word purity calls up no clear picture, as the word kmdncss does. The word purity is too often associated with somethinf^ negative, the absence of, or abstinence from, a certain kind of impurity, which is called " immorality." In reality it is a positive and radiating influence : it is not mere abstinence. We can understand this posi- tive and radiating influence better if we think of the word kindness. Kindness is not merely negative abstinence from murder or from murderous thoughts or from unkind thoughts; it is something positive. A man is in the desert with his deadliest enemy under his power. The man has just enough water for one. His enemy is parched with thirst. The man gives his enemy his water. That is positive kindness, going far beyond mere abstinence from un- kindness. But, when we come to picturing positive purity, we are unable to paint any scene corres- ponding to this positive and radiating kindness. Probably, indeed, if one could pourtray purity itself, the ignorant would condemn the drawing as the exact opposite of purity. The work, therefore, is not altogether satisfactory, and it may be as well if, at the risk of repetition, I make it clear what the work is not — and is not intended to be. It is not a treatise commanding, to all alike, an absolutely unstimulating diet, and never a single drop of alcohol for any person anywhere ever. Still XX. PREFACE. less would it set such things as goals for all, rather than as means for many. It is not a plea for celi- bacy and durance, or for self-control as an end in itself. It is not a morbid text-book of pathology, -describing unpleasant details and drawing a disgust- ing sketch of the horrid results of certain diseases. Rather it is a demand for general and all-round fitness ■of mind, nerve, and muscle, a demand for self-control as •a means towards self-expression — sensible and feasible and ujiostentatious self-control, begun and practised as •early as possible, as a means to safer and freer and more successful self-expression, and more rational and inspiriting self-respect. In truth, so far are my ways from durance and ascetism that, if any regime continues to be unplea- sant discipline after a fair trial — let us say of a few weeks — it probably has something wrong at the root of it, and I for my part will have nothing to do with it, whatever others may decide. Some helps, of course, are not likely to be very pleasant at the start. Rome was not built and can- not be cleansed — neither can England — in a single day. The helps must be judged not by immediate effects, which are nearly always unsatisfactory, but by full effects after a reasonable experiment. This applies particularly to changes in diet in the direc- tion of purity and simplicity, even when abundant nourishment is taken ; the change from a stimulating and clogging to a less stimulating and less clogging diet may be quite depressing at the start. This and other admissions of difficulties and objec- PREFACE. XXU tions will, I hope, prevent the reader from demand- ing too much from my suggestions. Again, it has been hard to reconcile two aimsr first of all, the attention to the means, some of them only temporary means ; then, eventually, freedom from all means that are not feasible everywhere and that have not become pleasant or at least neutral. Attention to the means involves conscious careful- ness; choice together with practice. This is while one is learning. The end and aim is no such bother,. but rather what we may call conscious carelessness,, sub-conscious carefulness, correct instinct, pleasant freedom. For it seems that the ideal — or an ideal — of man in this world is purposely to delegate a great deal of correct action to his under-mind, purposely to unite himself with his Over-mind and God, regarding him- self as carrying out the work of the Over-mind and of God. In other words, just as he delegates correct action — correct attitudes of the body, correct breath- ing, correct movement, even correct repose — to his. under-mind, so eventually the Over-mind and God will delegate correct action to him. His work is to become the under-mind of the Over-mind and of God, and to do the pleasure of the Over-mind and of God as easily and automatically as his own under- mind has learnt to do his own pleasure when he plays the piano, talks, reads, writes, walks, or balances himself on a bicycle. If anyone already is thus the faithful under-mind of the Over-mind and of God, he does not need to- XXll. PREFACE. look at this book, which is for those who require conscious choice and practice of habits that it is never too late — and scarcely ever too early — to ac- quire, and that, while they are being acquired, build alike the mind and the body to greater all-round iitness for life and, in due season, reproduction. Eustace Miles, 10, St. Paul's Road, 1904. Cambridge. PART I INTRODUCTORY CHAPTERS, CHIEFLY FOR THOSE WHO HAVE CHARGE OF BOYS. Chapter. Page I. — Self-control and Self-expression : A Personal Opinion about Easier Ways ... II. — Comparisons and Contrasts III. — Common Fallacies IV. — A Search for Causes of Mistakes v.— Some Effects VI. — What has succeeded at Schools and elsewhere VII. — An Early Mastery of Many Alphabets ... VIII.— The Habit of Patience in View of Results IX. — Compelling Ambitions and Responsibilities X. — A Better Map of Life XI. — Wanted : More Candour, Less Prudery... XII. — Sacred Individuality XIII— Why We Should be Hopeful A PERSONAL OPINION ABOUT EASIER WAYS CHAPTER I. SELF-CONTROL AND SELF-EXPRESSION : A PERSONAL OPINION ABOUT EASIER WAYS. FOR many years I played Racquets with great keenness and energ}', but with little success. I had been told to '' play up hard " and to " prac- tise " : the practice consisted chiefly in playing up hard ! I was most anxious to improve. I strained and " stuck to it." But I failed. Then one day I was shown some of my serious faults — my feet, my body, my arm, my hand, were in the wrong posi- tions ; hence my stroke was w rong. At length I saw that " playing up hard " would only ingrain these faults deeper and deeper. I set myself to learn the ver>^ alphabet of play, the more correct positions and movements, by a series of simple exercises — foot- drills and so on — attentively repeated, usually in my little bedroom at Cambridge. By degrees I made the better strokes no longer a conscious exertion, but a natural habit and tendency. What had before been very difficult became comparatively simple now. I found that I was beginning to play with far less effort, but far more success. The ease which the genius shows almost directly he starts the game, I was and still am trj^ing to get by conscious repe- tition of certain little practices. That lesson I have applied, I am applying, and shall apply to other games and other spheres of life. c 4 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. I do not want ahvays to have to be exerting myself against the same fault. I want to have removed the fault. I want to express myself freely and success- fully here, and so to enjo}' m3'self more. I want a set of methods, not too severe and exhausting, by which I ma}' very soon get a tendency or bias to do what is right, so that I may then let myself go and know that I shall not go far wrong. I want less and less of the harsh self-restraint that was once my ideal ; more and more of the pleasant self-expression that is my ideal now. In a word, if I may compare my body and instincts and desires to my dog, I want to train that dog so that I shall not always be obliged to oppose its will and to correct similar habits again and again, but shall be able to trust it, assured that its dominant inclination is now to be well-behaved and healthy and, in fact, the companion of man, as the best dog is by nature. Then it will be a real pleasure to live with that dog, knowing that it will be a nice and amusing friend, not a wicked brute which has to be alter- nately starved, chained up, and beaten. And the less compulsion and harshness I use in educating it, the simpler and kinder my treatment of it, short of pampering or spoiling it, the better both it and myself will be pleased, the more firm will be the foundations of its good character, because what is right is associated in its memor}' with what is pleasant also. That is likely to be the soundest guarantee of satisfactory conduct. A PI^KSONAL OPINION ABOLT liASIKK WAYS. 5 I know a type of man whose ambition it is to be knocking down someone or something all through his life. Now it is another person that he dislikes, now it is a fault in another person, now it is a fault in himself. But always the process is pugnacious — frowning face, barking voice, clenched fists of the boxer or straining pull or push of the wrestler; ever the stressful " grunt and sweat " against something as a heavy difficulty ; never a smooth way, never tactful ease. Even the problem that is as elusive as a fly, he treats in this " manly and straightforward " way : he hits out as hard as he can from the shoulder. He seems to regard the whole of life as a land of possible obstacles, all of the same size, all to be removed with equally powerful effort. He gives me the idea that if one day he found himself swimming with the tide or sailing with the wind, he would at once turn round, as though all tides and winds and influences were things born to be contended against. Strenuous opposition is his great ambi- tion. He regards this not as a means towards easier mastery, but as a means towards an equal amount of equally or even more strenuous opposition for ever. Once I tried this plan myself, having been taught that what I felt inclined to do was therefore sin, and that what I felt inclined not to do was therefore duty; that the only possible virtue was struggling, or, to change the comparison, cutting against the grain. I tried this plan, and the almost invariable result was failure, self-disrespect, unhappiness. b INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. Then at last I began to use my brain. I began to ask myself, not so much ** What am I to fight and hit ? " as " How can I control myself most easily, least unpleasantly ? How can I express myself most safely, most satisfactorily?" Instead of hating or despising and cursing myself and " repenting," I did what the Greek word fxeravoeLre really appears to me to command. I looked at things — myself and my life — in a new light, from a different point of view. I worked out the most simple ways of learning to do things most correctly ; I practised these mechanisms again and again, with high ambitions always before me ; I made these mechanisms my very own, carried out for me now by my trained under-minds. I found that I was not only getting better results than I had ever expected, but that I was also enjoying myself, and, for the first time in my life, was comparatively free from worry and anxiety. Now while it is possible that the other type of man, the incessantly straining fighter, may be doing a lot of good in strengthening himself and helping others, I am quite sure that I myself should never have won easier self-control, safer self-expression, greater and more encouraging self-respect, along his lines. I am quite sure that my lines are now right for me. I differ from him not merely because I prefer a reasonable amount of sensible tactics to an exhaust- ing amount of ineffective resisting or shoving, but also because, while he insists that everyone else should work in his way, I just offer my way as a way A PERSONAL OPINION ABOUT EASIER WAYS. 7 worth trjing fairly b}' those who have found other ways a failure ; as a way worth trjing fairly by those who are dissatisfied with themselves ; as a way to be judged, after fair trial, by its all-round results on the whole life, including the health, the happiness, the helpfulness. Convinced as I am that my view of easier and pleasanter self-control and safer and more satis- factory self-expression is a right one for myself, I refuse to force it on any one else. There are many who think — and they may be right — that we should always be wrestling with might and main against something, always doing what we want not to do, always not doing what we want to do. Much depends on one's own genuine religion : that is to say, on one's ideas of man's real nature. Is man's desire a divine thing or a devilish thing ? Personally I believe it is a divine thing if you direct it sensibly and give it a fair chance to work itself out in good activity. There was a time when I did few things that I really liked to do. I regarded my desires as devilish things. Now, though I must make many mistakes, yet constantly I do fewer and fewer things that I dislike, more and more things that I like. I enjoy myself more and more, I get far greater freedom. This has been the result of careful practice, of a gradual mastery of such physical and mental alphabets as I shall describe in Chapter VII. The result is less constraint, more satisfaction. And that seems to me to prove that the way is right for me. Others would say that it proved that the 8 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. way is wrong for any one, because they do not approve of pleasure. They talk about the way of suffering, pain, and so on. It seems to me — I speak from personal experience — that there may be some- thing morbid in their blood as well as in their mind. Perhaps they should diet themselves rather more carefully ! Perpetual unpleasantness seems to me to imply that things are badly organised by Providence, as if all His ways were ways of unpleasantness and all His paths were war. The ways, however, towards free self-expression may be rather a trial for a time. The better the tactics we choose and use, the smaller the trial will be. In the end we want not trials but instincts. But the way may be a way of trials. If the end — free and safe and pleasant self-expression — is worth while, then the ways, the trainings and practices for the end, are worth while also. And we cannot possibly start them either too early or too late. It is often held that many are too old to alter their instincts. Some have fixed the early age of thirty or less. I do not believe in any such limit so long as sensible tactics are adopted. If a man wishes to change his whole nature in a moment by a sort of bulldog rush straight for a mark, head down, then he will probably fail ; but if he is sensible and intelli- gent, and tackles the weak points one at a time, he will almost certainly succeed. There is another fallacy about instincts — namely, that it is possible to have a correct instinct which is A PERSONAL OPINION ABOUT EASIER WAYS. 9 not pleasant ; or it might be better to say a correct instinct which, when fairly tried, will not soon become more pleasant or less unpleasant than the wrong choice. I believe this is utterly impossible. I believe that every correct instinct is, or soon becomes, pleasant also, or at any rate less uncomfortable or painful, more comfortable or pleasant, than the incorrect instinct. We may call the instinct a bias. 1. The ideal instinct or bias is, first of all, not to express one's self in any way harmful to one's self or others. 2. Secondly, to express one's self in many ways useful or, at least, harmless to one's self and others. Take as an example this case. You imagine you have been injured by some one. Well, your correct instinct is, first, not to wish ill to that some one ; secondly, to wish and feel and realise health and happiness and helpfulness for him. 3. It is a third instinct to see in everything in life an opportunity for a certain amount of practice or play which will give you some quality that you assuredly need, some quality that in its turn will give you more satisfaction. If we expressed "Give us this day our daily bread " as a statement of faith in Providence, we might say '' All through to-day and to-night you are giving us just what our best life and character really want as training in lasting self- control, inspiring self-respect, and satisfactory' self- expression." 10 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. CHAPTER II. COMPARISONS AND CONTRASTS. WE are told that, when Jesus Christ spoke to the people, he preferred to speak by para- bles or comparisons ; and on one occasion he asked himself what comparison he should use in order to convey a certain idea. This use of comparisons is justified by the histor}- of language. Language has been called " a storehouse of faded metaphors " or comparisons. Man}- of them, when they were first invented, did not express the exact meaning of the thing itself: they exaggerated some part of the meaning ; they were inaccurate. For instance, the machine which lifted weights was not precisely a crane ; it was rather like a crane. Nevertheless the word crane does now denote that machine precisely. Probably most of our clearly remembered informa- tion has come through exaggerations and com- parisons. I recall most vividly a phrase of my little niece, who, on recovering from an illness and trying to walk, said that her legs were '' giddy." She taught by parable. I knew exacth' what she meant. Who does not ? The word recalled memo- ries of what I had felt when I had moved. Those are among the strongest memories that we have, and therefore among the best to use as bases for teaching. In the teaching of boys there is an extra advantage in comparisons, if we choose the right kind : it is that they are less morbid, less likely to be forbidden COMPARISONS AND CONTRASTS. II as " improper." Tell people of certain parts and certain functions of the body, and they are shocked : they consider you indecent. Begin by telling them of flowers, or even of eggs, and the most prudish will fail to blush. That is the starting-point in teaching — the comparison. Aptly and tactfully chosen, it offends absolutely no one. It is really a ver}- work- able start, this comparison, and, because it is less morbid in its associations, it must be more true to God's own life and ways. And indeed it may suggest certain new lights. Take the word " anger," for example. Does not a study of that word, its early idea of compression, pain, and strangling, throw new light on the true nature of anger ? Perhaps the most useful of all comparisons with regard to self-correction is the comparison with grammatical mistakes. Generally a child that makes a mistake of any grammatical sort is abused inconti- nently. The mistake is supposed to be entirely unpar- donable. Now I have a theor}- that the commonest mistakes are composed of two rights : that nothing in the world is wrong b\' itself; that the mistake consists of two right parts, parts which would be right if they were put in different circumstances. This theor}' shows clearest in grammar. I doubt if there is any ordinary grammatical mistake which is not composed of two right pieces, pieces which would be right if they were joined to certain other pieces. Here is a mistake which nearly ever}' writer makes to to-dav. He savs : " The reason wh\- we 12 INTRODUCTORY. MAINLY I OK I'AKKNTS, ETC. decide wrongly is because \ve are too cjuick." Now the reason is not because we are too quick ; the reason is the fact that we are too quick. This mistake is a mixture or blend of two rights, two right pieces which make one wrong piece. It would have been right to sa}', " We decide wrongly because we are too quick ; " it would have been right to say, " The reason wh}- we decide wrongly is that we are too quick ; " but the writer has blended the two good halves into one bad whole. Now, in teaching a child, it is just as important to show what is right as to show what is wrong. In every mistake which the child makes there is a right beginning, a beginning which would be right with a certain ending. Some day we may be able to prove that in ever}- mistake there is also a right ending, an ending which would be right if it had a certain beginning. A child loses its temper and throws a stone at another child. Now the mistake here may seem absolute. If we could only find the two rights that made up that one wrong, we should be better able to treat the child, to help it to self-correction, to improve its self- control and self-expression, to increase its self- respect. Here first there is a divine desire to restore an upset poise. Only the* desire is turned into the wrong channel, namely, the channel of in- jury to another. Can we justify the violent throwing of the stone at a mark ? Yes, certainly, if that were part of a game or a physical exercise, it would be ex- cellent. The following grammatical mistakes can be treated COMPARISONS AND CONTRASTS. I;^ in the same way. And it should be part of the work of the teacher and the boy himself to find out the right sources which have produced the wrong results, instead of regarding the whole as altogether wrong and inexcusable. '* A thing is learnt by practising it " — a blend of (i) " A thing is learnt by practice," and (2) " We learn a thing by practising it." " Ever}'one likes their own productions " — a blend of " Everj'one likes his (or her) own productions," (2) " All like their own productions." Exactly which comparison will be effective we cannot say beforehand. But, the more comparisons we have, the more comparisons which start from the physical and active life of the child, the better we are likely to succeed. Among the best of them is the expression " Play the game." In the game the child learns many lessons which (alas !) it does not learn in school. In the game, perhaps, it learns skill, the value of practice beforehand, pluck and patience, fairness and courtesy, cheerfulness and good temper, co-operation and self-sacrifice and the sense of be- longing to a group. Whereas we may fail to move the child by telling it to be pious, or holy, or virtuous, we may succeed in making it move itself by telling it to play the game. That comparison I have worked out in a special book.* For the pur- pose of this book not the least important aspect of playing the game is the difference between practice and the match. To practise intelligently, atten- tively, patiently, long before the match or crisis — * • I^t's Play the Ciame ' (Guilbert Pitman, i/- nett). 14 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. that seems to be one of the secrets of success in play and match-play for those who are not born players. Or it may not be a game so much as an exercise or an athletic pursuit. The two following will appeal rather to men than to the bo}' himself, though many boys will be able to appreciate them also. When you begin to fence, and are told to lunge straight forward with your right foot, you find your right foot (see Chapter XXV.) pointing out of the direct line and away to your left. So it is with your left foot in the boxing lunge : it tends to point away to your right. Fencing and boxing themselves are not likely to teach you the straight line. No, you must learn this, one of the first letters of the fencing and boxing alphabet (so every authority agrees), as a special exercise repeated again and again, till it is now a natural habit, and you lunge along the straight line without effort, without conscious care. Otherwise practice will not make perfect. There is a tract of ice over which ever}- male, at least ever)' real male, has to pass. True, it is pos- sible for kindly-intentioned persons to lead a boy round by some other way, but that is not the way to manhood. Or these people may cut up part of the surface of the ice, or sprinkle sand on it, or fix props in it with ropes from prop to prop, or set nails in the boy's boots, or hold the boy's hand all the time, or make him support himself by pushing a chair in front of him. There are many methods of prevent- ing falls. But do they teach the boy how to balance himself? Do they teach him the art of poise when COMPARISONS AND CONTRASTS. 1 5 he walks on the ice alone, or runs on it as a real male wants to run ? Or will he then find the ice too slippery, and by falling cripple himself perhaps for life? That ice is the period of manhood's awakening, the period of puberty and after, whether the male marries or not. To send the boy upon it without training in the art of poise is part of that ignorance or prudery which amounts to cruelty or crime. When the male is poised, he is safe : he is men- tally what the cat is physically, a type of graceful repose, yet entirely ready for a splendid walk or run or leap in a moment, and able to fall on his feet ; master of all the important muscles, to use or not to use them as the mind — the heart and the intelligence — shall decide. So it is with the skater of intricate figures — and no figure is nearly so intricate as the figure of life. He must have his whole body under control before he can skate safely as well as quickly and happily. And few are likely to learn this skill merely by skating again and again. Mr. E. F. Benson must have found that all his various games and athletics and gymnastics have contributed something to his success in skating, and that even his many and all- round exercises were none too many. If any one were to try, untrained and unpractised, some of the figures which this expert does so well and so fast, he might kill himself. And when we let a boy go upon the ice of manhood, not wise, self-respecting, and ready, but versed only in folly and shame and flight, we are compelling him to do just that very feat — to , Til R A R 7" or THt UNIVERSITY 1 6 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. skate a most intricate figure at high speed, before he can do the simplest turns and movements quite slowly. " He who is incapable of controlling his muscles," said the great Dr. Maudsley, " is incapable of con- trolling his mind." One of the objects of this book is to train a boy's muscles and nerves and mind, so that he may be able not only to control his muscles, but also to express his best mind securely and satis- factorily ; to train in him his best mind, so that it may decide rightl\' ; and to train in him his nerves and muscles so that they may express what his best mind has decided : to train him in pleasant mastery of his self and in pleasant obedience to his Self, a state as far away from cramped asceticism as from libertine dissoluteness ; to train him in self-control largely b}' means of self-expression, and with a view to the highest self-expression in due season. By nature the period of puberty is a period slip- per)^ as ice, yet, like ice, allowing of the most grace- ful and healthy and full movement and play to the good performer. But — to change the comparison — prudery has made this a period mir}- as the foulest and heaviest marsh and bog, and few there are that can find the narrow track (which the managers of children have slimed over with mud), and come to the other side with clean clothes. There is within us all a special instinct that tells us just where the narrow track is, and how it bends and twists across the dangerous fen ; but this instinct in most of us is so perverted that we are led to keep to this track COMPARISONS AND CONTKASTS. I J about as much as a dipsomaniac is led to keep to that pure water which, authorities assert, is the most wholesome drink for him. The aim of this book is to preserve that instinct unperverted, or, if it has. been perverted, to restore it. For I firmh' believe that, ph\sicall\' as well as mentally, it is never too late to train oneself in purity and poise. I believe that the kingdom of heaven is w^ithin us continually to the very moment of death, and beyond death con- tinually. I believe that the state of real health, the state of guidance by God (for this seems to be the meaning of the Greek words as interpreted by the life of Jesus Christ) is within us perpetually, our fault being that we let it stay so deep within us that it is about as useful as a loaf of bread at the bottom of a well ; and, indeed, so deep within us that we need not wonder wh\' people have regarded heaven as far away. What matters it whether we have to climb down a rope to the bottom of a well within ourselves or climb up a rope to the top of a wall outside our- selves, so long as, in the end, we do ourselves possess and thus actually become and express, the state of physical health and mental God-guidance ? So it is in war. To practise for naval warfare merely by naval warfare itself would be ruin to a nation. Long before there is any war the sailors must be drilled till each does most of his task with- out effort, without conscious care. And there must be tactics devised long beforehand. What is the enemy likely to do ? How can we anticipate or check or overcome him ? Then, if war is declared^ 1 8 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. nine-tenths of the work goes on — we might almost say that it does itself — without a hitch. Why? Because the letters of the alphabet and some words and some sentences have been learnt correctly by constant practice. It is now comparatively easy to speak whole paragraphs correctly. Other comparisons will be found in the book itself. For instance, in the chapter on " A Mother's Views " (XLV.) there will be several, especially the compari- sons with plants and animals. In the chapter *' Who have the Power?" (XLIV.) there is a comparison with the tree which is cut ; there is also this com- parison with the weeds in the garden. What we want to do is to get the boy to realise his responsibilities, not morbidly, but sensibly. Let him compare his body and mind, as Shakespeare does, to a garden. In that garden the boy can plant at will good plants or bad weeds. The weeds will almost seem to plant themselves. The plants he alone can plant, at least after he has reached a certain age. What is he to do with the weeds ? He can starve them by feeding the plants. He feeds the plants by attending to them again and again and enjoying the attention. In other words, let him turn his mind away from the weeds of thought and to attractive and useful occupations, such as gardening itself, or play, or the imagination of himself as succeed- ing in play. Some weeds he can root out. That comparison suggests mentally the power of the will, or rather, if we may coin a new word, the wont. Again, he may poison the weeds by certain chemicals. COMPARISONS AND CONTRASTS. I9 Mentally that would be to connect the weed-thoughts — ani^n- or unkind ideas about others — with the idea of disgust (rather than fear). Let the boy see that such-and-such habits are unsatisfactor}% if not repul- sive : for instance, that they spoil his athletic success, his work, his appearance, his self-respect, and so on. Or he may compare himself to a cattle-farmer rather than to a gardener. Let him learn to take as much care of his mind and bod\' as a breeder of animals does of his cattle, giving them good food, air, exer- cise, and so on. Or, if he likes, let him compare himself to the owner and manager of a house or a room in a house. As he keeps that room tidy and clean, so let him keep his mind and body tidy and clean. These are only suggestions thrown out as samples. What the teacher has to do for a boy, or what a boy has to do for himself, is to find out comparisons that really appeal, comparisons that are based in the boy's active experiences and vivid memories, and so are good starting-points from which he may realise his splendid responsibilities, and at the same time work out for himself the ways in which he can fulfil them. I shall begin the next chapter with a comparison which will appeal to men and women more strongly than to boys, but will, I hope, appeal to boys as well. 20 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. N CHAPTER III. COMMON FALLACIES. EARLY two years ago I engaged a man- servant to look after my rooms in London, and especially to cook for me and for my guests. I often had to leave him alone, master of himself. But I felt sure that the best plan was not to tie him down with strict rules, but rather to give him a pride in every bit of work that he did. I convinced him that it was all clean and • useful work, at least as clean and useful as my work in writing books and advising people about their health. In particular I wished him to feel that as a cook he was not degrad- ing himself by a low and dirty task, but was raising himself by a real art ; that, whether he scrubbed the floor or washed clothes or polished boots, he was doing as good work as I was. I would not let him regard any part of his work as inferior. The worst thing I could say about any part of his work was that it was indispensable ! But the usual idea is that such work — the work of the housemaid and cook — is below the work of the lady-governess, and the work of the lady-governess below the laziness of the lady-loafer. Great heavens ! what ignorance. Why, if I felt I could cook, or dig, or make clothes, or sweep crossings better than anyone else, and better than I could do anything else, I'd be ashamed to be ashamed of it ! I cannot conceive where the ** infra dig, " comes in. COMMON FALLACIES. 21 So it is with our body and its parts and functions. To some we give much honour — to the eyes and the complexion, to the hands, to the work of writing a letter or reading a book. Other parts and functions we are trained to regard as inferior, notably our organs of excretion, our organs of reproduction, even our organs of digestion and their functions. Lately it has become less " indecent " to talk about Little Marys and digestion ; but as to most other •organs and their work — so essential to the health of the nation — in *' society " it is considered highly " im- proper " even to use the words. Indeed, apart from medical discussions, the organs and their vital func- tions are scarcely ever alluded to at all by anyone except in connection with " jokes." Think of it. We are a nation of uneducated hypocrites and pernicious prigs. When we give a child to understand that, though it may talk of its face and hands and brain and heart and lungs, it must never talk of its *' horrible " or *' nasty " bowels and other organs, •can we wonder that this child has no sense of duty towards these " beastly " organs, but grows up with a false and degrading impression — henceforth almost ineradicable, because formed when the brain was very plastic ; not believing that the organs, the whole body, must be treated with courtesy ; that it is not necessary to think about the organs, but that it is necessary not to think dirtily or contemp- tuously about them ; that it is necessary to do everything that will keep these organs clean and healthy, because on their cleanliness and health 22 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. depends much of the present and future fitness of ourselves and posterity. In a word, let a boy think as scrupulousl}' and jealously and respectfully of his organs as he does (or should) of his little sisters, and he will have mastered half the difficulties of puberty- But once let him be led to regard any parts of him as dirty servants to be bullied and treated rudely, and as beneath courteous consideration, and how on earth can we expect him to have enough self-respect to keep in the straight way of sensible self-control and satisfactor}' self-expression ? If he is always to be tied to, to carry about within him, a lot of foul and shameful items which are undoubtedh- integral por- tions of him, how can he have healthy self-know- ledge, healthy self-reverence, healthy self-control, healthy self-expression ? How can he believe that the kingdom of heaven, the state of purity, is within him, when within him is so much indecent and improper material ? No. Away with this vile fallacy ; and, therefore, away with the fallacy of the self-satisfied parent that, when he or she answers the child's innocent questions by, " You mustn't speak of that : it's not nice,*' he or she is helping the child. Away with that inconceivably damnable " Hush," which in this con- nection is one of the foulest and most prurient and blasphemous words that the mouth of a parent ever uttered. If we boycotted from " society " all those who thought that an)- part of themselves was by nature improper and shameful, instead of almost confining " society " to these maniacs, we should at COMMON FALLACIES. 23 length become a nation at least of genuine and self- respecting people, not of genteel hypocrites who would consider the flowers of plants to be pure and beautiful, but the flowers of men to be filthy and hideous. Work out the logical result of this early " educa- tion." The boy is cut off from the best sources of information. He is not told about puberty and those temptations which it will be his privilege to over- come ; he is not told that self-control will be a good game to win, that if he wins it he will be as great in life as Grace and Fry are in cricket and Hacken- schmidt in wrestling. He is not told anything that will make him too proud to err against God, against others, against his self and the cell-lives within him, against posterity. He is not given preventive and remedial helps such as I offer in this book. At the best, he is told to restrain himself and to pray ; to regard himself as a miserable sinner, a conglomera- tion of desires which are borne to be crushed or killed. Almost the only way known to him is self- repression, the way of durance, abstinence, austerity. Otherwise, if he is full-blooded, a boy of natural energy, he is all too likely to fall, and so to under- mine his health and his equally precious self- confidence. Now some drill and discipline is good for a boy ; if I had a boy I should certainly drill him in better breathing, more leisurely eating, and so on. But I should explain to him why I advised it. And I should not for a moment be content with asceticism as his sole training. In fact, I should always suspect 24 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. that, unless I could help him to establish a number of instincts or habits that he now came to prefer and to enjoy, he would have no foundation for sure self- control and satisfactory self-expression when the time of stress arrived. So important is this foun- dation that, without unnecessary allusions, and with all-round fitness as the true goal, I should train him not for war but for victory in this sphere. Above all, I would convince him that / had had my difficulties, and that he and I would win the game together; that he must tell me whenever he wanted advice or help. Then, if ever he did make the mistake, he would without hesitation come to me for advice and help, and I should be able to tell him just what I would do if I were he — what I would avoid (XVI.), how I would use cold water (XXI.), how I would take this or that kind of exercise (XXV. and XXVI.), resort to this or that hobby (XXVIII.), practise my imagination and self-suggestion (XLL), or seek publicity (XLIL). While I should try to point out why the mistake was a mistake, I should emphasise the idea that he had to play the game now, that he had to begin at once and stick to it pluckily, that he could and would win it, that he need not fear that he would always have to take such care ; that some day he would be free to do whatever he desired to do, when he had tided himself over this period, as he was going to do. There are many (like the *' grunting and sweating '* man in Chapter I.) who imagine that self-control means hard and trying asceticism always, a perpetual COMMON FALLACIES. 25 tight and struggle against all the tendencies of nature, a perpetual use of straining will-power. There are others who suppose that there must be absence of temptation, or avoidance of temptation, unless one wishes to make some mistake. For instance, the religious extremist who lives in his cool cave, and eats ver}- little, and that of an unstimula- ting kind, is often put forward as a model of self- control. What would he do amidst temptations? At present he is a strict dietist, airist, and so on. But this is not the ideal, unless these conditions have prepared him for self-control even in a vicious city-life. The ideal is rather to rise above temptation, and, at any rate eventually, to find that it is not severe temptation at all ; though it may be necessary to avoid temptation at the start, while correct instincts and strength are being formed and stored up. The fallacy that a person is " all right " because he keeps away from alcohol, or some other imme- diate incentive to mistakes, is very widely spread. It is based on ignorance about the body and the mind. The chief cause of any mistake is not the imme- diate temptation — for instance, the chief cause of the crime of murder, suicide, worr}' (slow murder and suicide by self- poisoning), is not the alcohol which the person desired and drank. Behind that there is some condition (such as great blood-pressure) leading to the desire for alcohol : this preceded the drinking of the alcohol. Behind that again there may be some other cause, perhaps fast eating. 26 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. In fact, the immediate cause is seldom the really important one. Those who say that there is only one cause to any set of mistakes are wrong. There are several causes in almost every case, beyond the immediate one obvious. to everybody. Others are mistaken as to the results. Just as they say there is only one cause — the immediate cause — so they say that the only results are the immediate results. Mistakes, they think, do not count at all ; they do no harm ; young people must " sow their wild oats." It is all nonsense, they tell us, to pretend that it can hurt anyone to do this or that " in moderation." If at the age of forty the man breaks down, leaving unhealthy children behind him, these fools never suspect that the seeds were sown in youth. Equally wrong are those who say that the harm of mistakes is terrible and obvious immediately. Many pious books on the subject state that all mistakes produce all sorts of fatal and easily detected mischiefs. They say the same of alcohol and tobacco. Who has not read the grievous accounts of what tobacco does to the heart, the nerves, the morals, everything ? Yet we see thousands and thousands of people smoking habitually and not coming under this dogmatic law. A vast amount of real harm is done by these blind fanatics who guarantee that the results of mistakes shall be dreadful, and shall appear at once. For the boy tries this or that mistake, and finds no such results, and is led to imagine that there will be no results COMMON FALLACIES. 27 at all. Here is an extract, that I found among my papers the other day, from one of the books on the subject — I forget which book it was : — "To detect the secret sensualist is not at all difficult, the dull, stupid, and inappropriate remarks, forgetfulness, lack of courage, slowness of comprehension, bloodless countenance, sunken eyes with dark lines beneath, incoherence and lack of interest in daily topics, his habits become slovenly, he walks with unsteady gait, he is effeminate and vulgar in his talk, his very presence is repugnant to the healthy and pure. To add to the sorrows of these poor sufferers, there is none so conscious of his ' fallen ' state as he is himself ! '* The second stage follows after a few years of this vice ; he finds his eyesight impaired, spots liefore the eyes, loss of control, extreme and unnatural nervousness, rheumatism, dyspepsia, constipation, «... gradually appear, repulsive skin, pallid countenance, lack of vigour, and palpitation of the heart. " He has sacrificed his dignity, his purity, his honour, and has merged into a sickly man, destitute of manliness. The bold, resolute, and gallant manners are his no longer. The pure enjoy- ment of company of the gentle sex he despises. Women, beautiful, graceful, and affectionate, have no charm for him now, in fact their •company is to him a positive unpleasantness." Now though this is true of extreme cases, and though it might be well for many boys to '* learn the mean by study of the extremes," yet it is not fair and true of all cases. And the boy who, for some want of reason or other, makes a mistake, and does not notice these results, is led to believe that there may be hardly any bad results at all. The fallacies are not all about causes and results of mistakes. Numbers of them refer to helps against mistakes. Some say there is only this or that help, which is quite self-sufficient. The commonest one brought forward as a panacea \Nas mentioned just 28 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. now — " moderation." " Be moderate, and every- thing will be right." Now that is quite an error. If a thing is harmful to you, it is harmful to you even in moderation. If you are taking six harmful things in moderation, you are not giving yourself a fair chance. Others say that diet alone is self- sufficient. Yes, in certain cases, one help may be sufficient. But which help it is going to be in any given case we cannot prophes}'. The best way is to recognise that many things are useful, that one will aid one person, another will aid another person, and several combined will aid yet another. It is a great fallacy that all helps against mistakes are unpleasant. Just a few ma}' be unpleasant at the start, as we see in the chapter on better punish- ment for boys (Chapter XXX.) ; and some may be tedious, such as (see XVII.) leisurely eating while we are learning the art. But, if the help is a sane and sound one, it should become a pleasant habit and instinct ver)- soon. Still worse is the fallacy that there is no help — the fallacy that it is ever too late to mend. It is never too late. Perhaps the worst of all is the fallacy that a person who makes a mistake is altogether bad. It is a fallacy to suppose that anything is altogether bad. In the comparisons with grammatical mistakes (in Chapter II.) I pointed out that ever> wrong may be a mixture of two rights. Some pious people say, however, that ever}- wrong is altogether wrong. They deprive the person of his sel^- respect ; they tell COMMON FALLACIES. 29 him he is absokiteh' vile from head to finger-tip, instead of telHng him that the desire to restore an upset balance is divine, but that it is possible to restore the upset balance in an undesirable \va\'. These people take the w rong view of temptation too. They lead a boy to imagine that, because he is tempted, therefore he is weak and vile. Temptation should always be regarded as an opportunity and a privilege. It is never anything else. Henry Drum- mond aptly compared it to good bowling at cricket. A boy who has a good bowler to bowl to him is proud of the opportunity and privilege. He should regard temptation in exactly the same way, and find out how to pla\' the bowling, by thought and prac- tice long before the next game or match. It is another great error to separate one mistake from all the others, and put it in a class by itself as the vilest. In the particular case where there is lack of self-control the real cause may lie further back, in the over-eating and over-drinking. It ma}' have been these and other mistakes that have led to the particular mistake, as inevitably as a stone, which has begun to roll down hill, will roll down unless something unexpected occurs. It is ridiculous to pretend that the cause of the stone reaching the bottom is the pace which it is showing during the last five yards. To get at the cause we must go higher up. What started the stone rolling in that direction ? That brings us to the causes once again. I shall deal with a few of them in the next chapter. 30 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. T CHAPTER IV. A SEARCH FOR CAUSES OF MISTAKES. HIS chapter may serve as a good example of my method in deahng with this whole subject. It is quite easy to treat want of self-control, not as an utterly isolated mistake, but as akin to all other mistakes. Just now I showed that it is wrong to pretend that over-eating is harmless, whereas the results of over-eating are wicked. It is an error to separate different mistakes, as many learned doctors separate different ailments, too finely, and to treat each as a speciality unlike the rest. It is far better to work out a few treatments — by food and feeding, exercises, water, repose, self-suggestion, and so on — that may prevent or cure as many ailments as pos- sible, instead of injecting a fresh serum for each of the hundred ailments. Want of self-control does not stand in an absolutely different class from over-eating or even from fast eating. These things are mistakes of a somewhat similar kind, with somewhat similar results. Each is likely to act on the other ; each is likely to be both one of the causes and one of the effects of the other. The person who is guilty of either or of both of them is not utterly and hopeless- ly degraded, so long as he makes up his mind to "play the game" now and henceforth, and to remedy and prevent not one mistake only, but as many mis- takes as he can. Indeed, the first and fine cause of all mistakes A SEARCH FOR CAUSES. 3I seems to be some loss of poise and a divine desire to restore it. The desire is right. The way of restor- ing it is wrong: for it is only a temporary way. If you have indigestion, you wish to relieve it. Your wish is good. If you use some quack remed}', )ou choose a temporary way of restoring that upset balance. The whole of life is a series of upset balances and attempts to restore them. Possibly no one ever does anything except for purposes of restoring an upset balance. Right or wrong is mainly, if not entirely, a question of all-round results, and therefore of proportion and perspective and prospective. We condemn want of self-control be- cause its all-round results — on the self and others — are unsatisfactory. How does the loss of poise come ? It comes from ignorance, especially ignorance of the causes of loss of poise. Ph\sically these causes include over- acidity of the blood and blood-pressure, which again are due to various reasons. A few of these reasons are mentioned in an Appendix. Mentally the loss of poise is due, of course, to one or more forms of want of self-control, and to the failure to realise the advan- tages of all forms of self-control. Why, then, does the loss of poise show itself in this or that particular way ? Why does the desire to restore it take this form ? Physically, there are many reasons : wrong posi- tions of the body (parti}' due to weak muscles ; see Chapter XXI\\), wrong movements of the body (as in certain strain-exercises), accidental friction (I have 32 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. Nerves of the Penis Sensory Nerves of/ GeniLoJ Orgar Bladder a Prostate Rectum A Perinaeum know n cases where hobby- horse riding, cHmbing, etc., have had unpleasant ef- fects), local warmth (as when the person lies on his back upon a feather mattress), wrong foods (such as ginger, shell-fish, butcher's meat, etc., ac- cording to the individual), wrong drinks (including many alcoholic drinks), and so on. I need not enter into details here. This diagram (adapted from Sir Lauder Brun- ton's) will help to show how irritation, etc., in the stomach or intestines may affect other important organs and parts through the Sensory nerves n^^rvf^c of Rectum and "^^veb. Nates Mentally there is, once again. Fig. I.- This Fig. (adapted from Sir . . louder Brunton's) shows how irritation of ignorance, partly the stomach and intestines by flatulence, because elder peo- over-acidity, or faeces may irritate the pie have not been genital centres at the base of the spine ; ^^^^^^j^ ^^^ j^ave also how these and the genital centres in the brain may be stimulated through cer- tain nerves. not themselves been pure in mind. A SEARCH FOR CAUSES. 33 There has also been a lack of attractive and feasible outlets for energy. There has been a lack of clean memories and clean imaginations. The mind has been pre-occupied by vile memories and foul imagi- nations from books, stories, sights, etc. These have been dominant. They have come uppermost in the thoughts, in spite of conscience. There has been too much reliance on sheer unintelligent will-power, too severe a strain on this will-power, when a few simple tactics — like the uses of cold water — might have relieved it. The ignorance has been partly due to secretiveness. The boy has been afraid and ashamed ; afraid because he has not expected sym- pathy ; ashamed because he has not known the true nature of desire and the simple helps by which he might have turned it into a good chanrygl. His first introduction to knowledge has not been pure, through his parents, but foul, perhaps through some uneducated boy. There may possibly have been, be- sides, the same pride which a boy takes in being able to smoke — curiosity, most strong in children, and imitation, also most strong, being other factors in the early mistakes. Certainly there has been too much emphasis laid on this particular mistake itself, rather than on the causes further back which have led to it. It is just the same if the boy loses his temper. He is told not to lose his temper. He is not told about the wrong foods, and so on, which have impelled him towards losing his temper. Once let the habit be formed, once let the boy be accustomed to make this mistake whenever his 34 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. poise is upset, and the cause is now not a conscious choice so much as an estabHshed tendency. In every case there has been want of preparation before the war has begun, want of such prepara- tion as I suggest in the chapter (VII.) on the early mastery of many alphabets. With such preparation a boy would be little likely to go far wrong, at any rate without such nausea that he would rather not make the mistake again. The preparation would have been so easy in the first years. Dr. Savage tells us that " no malady (over- tension and over- fidgetiness are maladies) is too light to be neglected in the earliest years. The tender plant can resist but little. The more elaborate are often delicate and slow in growth." As it is, he, unprepared and untrained, has failed. Then he has come to that terrible state — self-dis- respect. He cannot believe that the good is any- where within him. His heaven is far off, and not at the very centre of his being. He has been led to regard God as something ever so far away, perhaps chiefly a punishing power. Even the temptations he has regarded as signs of weakness, rather than (as we pointed out in the last chapter) opportunities and privileges. Instead of feeling that he has great good within him ready to grow up and show itself if he supplies it with the right conditions, instead of asserting quietly that " within me / am owner of the Sphere, Of the seven stars and the Solar Year, Of Caesar's handy and Plato's brain. Of Lord Christ's heart, and Shakespeare's strain,'* A SEARCH FOR CAUSKS. 35 he loses self-confidence, telling' himself that through- out his own mind and body, from heart to skin, he is " altogether become abominable." On the other hand let us look at a few causes of self-control, so as to emphasise these and other causes of mistakes by contrast. First there is the unperverted instinct, as of little children who will refuse to smoke a pipe or to drink alcohol. I have a nephew who loathes and will not eat meat. Much of this instinct must depend on the surroundings, the education, the opportunities for outlet, the absence of temptation. Sometimes people are, physically, almost too weak to lose self-control ; there is very little blood-pressure. Others are cowards, afraid of something, perhaps of public exposure : sheer cowardice has kept manV people from murder. Then there has been, in other cases, a ver}' strong will, such as Napoleon had, though he was feeble in some spheres. In other cases there has been great intelligence, a sensible choice of tactics, as in the instance of the man who, when he felt uncomfortable, went out and walked and ran, or rowed, or in some way tired himself out, and then came back dead-beat and slept well. In other cases knowledge has been all-sufficient. A boy has realised the effects of self-control and the effects of the mis- take. That knowledge has been sufficient to keep him straight. He saw once for all that the mistake was not worth while — that self-control and good self- expression were worth while in every way. Easy as it would be to cite other causes of mis- E 36 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. takes — hasty marriages of those who have not under- stood one another and have merely admired one or two features in one another ; ignorance and shyness of the parents, that prevents them from being the first to introduce the subject to their children; and so on — I must leave this unwritten and pass on to the next chapter, in which I shall outline a few of the effects, not only of the mistakes, but also of sensible self-control and safe self-expression. CHAPTER V. SOME EFFECTS. THIS chapter, like the last, will illustrate the way in which it is possible to deal with the subject almost unobjectionably. I want to empha- sise the effects of all right ways, this self-control being among the right ways, and of all mistakes, this want of self-control being among the mistakes. Much of what I say here will apply, nearly without change of words, to leisurely eating as contrasted with fast eating. Leisurely eating will have good effects all round. Fast eating will have bad effects all round. Among these effects are those on posterity. The child is father to the man, and the man in his turn is father to the child of the next generation. So the child is father to the child. We must judge people not only by their present appearance and capability, nor even SOME EFFECTS. yj by their old age as well, but also by their next gene- ration, ** even unto the third and fourth generation." But I wish especially to emphasise the good effects of sensible self-control and safe self-expres- sion, especially if they are made habits in early life. In that case we can happily leave out almost all mention of the results of mistakes, and simply em- phasise the results of right actions. Needless to say, the effects will be not only greater but also more certain if the plant has been trained, in the way it should go, when it was young, tender, and pliable. First of all, the self- controlled person is not ashamed. He is like the village blacksmith, looking the whole world in the face. He has self-respect, realising his own self-control and power. Being master here, he knows he can be master elsewhere also. His self-control, his mastery of himself and his conditions here, is a basis for all future achievements. It is not only himself that he benefits. Inevitably he benefits society and posterity. He feels fit all-round — not merely in the animal sense of the word, but also in the mental and moral. His athletics, his appearance, his money-supplies, are all bettered by his self-control and self-expression. He helps others, and himself is much happier than if he had made mistakes. Contrast, on the other hand, the uncontrolled boy. Ashamed of himself because he would not dare to live all his life openly in the sight of others ; unre- spected by himself, perhaps unrespected and dis- trusted by others, even if they do not probe to the 38 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. cause and do not know exactly why; failing to do his proper work and have his proper effect on society and posterity, unfit — perhaps not in every way, but in some ways, in athletics or in appearance or in brain-work ; in an extreme case, a wreck, impotent in body, insane in mind, diseased, a pauper, and the victim of many other miseries. These are extreme cases; but we need extreme cases if we would realise tendencies. Until we have seen the actual goal, the end of this man, it is im- possible for us to understand the kind of results which the mistake may have. CHAPTER VI. WHAT HAS SUCCEEDED AT SCHOOLS AND ELSEWHERE. THIS chapter is, perhaps, the most important in the whole book, though it needs additions by many readers who, I hope, will contribute their personal experiences. Out of piles of notes I have been obliged to omit a very great deal, not because the good work already being done by individuals and societies was unimportant, but because I had no space to mention it. Some few people have succeeded in keeping their self-control by an infallible instinct, just as some people have played games well right from the very beginning. They came, they saw, they took up the bat or ball, they excelled. So in * morality.' WHAT HAS SUCCEEDED. 39 One reason may have been that the parents were <]uite candid when they were questioned. I know several cases where this was so, and I know several schools where there is perfect freedom in asking and answering questions. In one school in particular, the master does not wait for the questions to be asked, but — of course using great tact — volunteers helpful information. I could cite more than two Public School masters who have had great success with boys, because, in- stead of threatening punishment loudly, they quietly offer friendly co-operation. ** This is a thing we must get rid of," they sa\' ; " we must overcome it to- gether." That is certainly the very best line for any manager of boys to adopt — that friendly co-operation. Those who wish for hints on these lines should read A. C. Benson's " Schoolmaster," and Edward Lyttel- ton's " Teaching of the Young." At one school this encouraging sympathy is car- ried a stage further. The individuality of the vigor- ous boy is understood and allowed for, and the boy is told that he is not altogether bad — that his energy itself is grand, but must be sensibly directed. His particular nature is studied, and his particular remedy or preventive is worked out by the masters. At another school there is an altogether different method, a method apparently equally successful. The boy is told that mistakes will hurt his athletics. That seems to appeal to him more strongly than anything else. It is not the only advice given, for the headmaster alwavs insists at the same time that 40 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. the boy and his school form a family, and that any mistake of this kind is a breach of loyalty to the rest of the family. That is what a famous American schoolmaster also tells his boys. He adds to this plan the English plan of prefects. He does not often deal with the small boys directly, but puts them in charge of big boys whom he can trust. He finds that this plan works out better than direct advice. Of course it is far better for the prefects themselves, as it gives them' an ennobling responsibility. Besides this, however, he allows the motive of fear. A boy who is known to be uncontrolled is ''sent to Coventry." His dread of publicity keeps him from mistakes. And in all these schools there are some physical helps as well. In one school there is abundance of light, which has proved so effective in preventing misdemeanours in large cities. An exceptional case, I think, is a school in the South of England where two or three prefects rooted out the mischief by sev^ere corporal punishment of all suspected offenders. At another school in the South of England the same or a better result was achieved merely b}- the personal example of two or three leading boys, in- cluding three of the best athletes in the school. Then there has been success, as we have said^ through sheer unintelligent bulldog tenacity and determination not to make the mistake. But this is not a reliable method with most boys, whose will- power and wont-power is sadly undeveloped by small WHAT HAS SUCCEEDED. 4I practices. Again, some have prayed diligently and earnestly, and have prevailed in that way. Others have failed miserably, in spite of repeated " prayer," probably because they have been told to pray, but have never been told (see Chapter XL I.) Iiow to pray. Where sheer will-power and anxious " prayer '* have been ineffective, friendship and respect for some person (amounting almost to worship of him) may have succeeded. Either the boys sought the com- pany of the person, or else imagined that person to be present. The imagination and memory kept them straight. In hundreds of cases there has been a heroine — probably some ten or fifteen years older than the boy himself. These women can wield an influence that few of them have realised. Others have been kept straight by sheer terror of the results. I know one case where a father took his boy to a Lock Hospital and showed him the extreme effects of want of self-control, and the boy was frightened out of those mistakes for the whole of his life. But this is not by any means the best plan, this use of fear. Far better is some means within the person's self, and especially some conscious self- suggestion, such as we have outlined in a special chapter (XLL). The appeal to the boy, or the boy's appeal to himself, to play the game and be sports- manlike and loyal, his suggestion or assertion to himself that he is not so weak-willed as to make a mistake, his reminder about his responsibilities, about his ambitions, above all about his power to 42 INTRODUCTORY. MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. keep straight, such means are singularly effective. There is nothing morbid about them. The self- suggestion to play the game and not to be weak- willed is the ver}- reverse of morbid. Above all, it is quite unostentatious, as distinct from many of the physical ways which are adopted by the tempted. When I wrote a few words about it, in a little monthly paper, " Health and Strength," I received many letters to say how helpful this idea was prov- ing in self-control and the whole of the daily life. Games, properly organised and played, are them- selves a powerful self-suggestion of right conduct, as is proved by their effects in Reformatory Indus- trial, and in some Board and Poor Law Schools. As to " suggestion " by others, I know it has often been most useful. I know several cases of people who have put themselves under a well-known doctor, and he has suggested to them that they will not want to smoke again. Now suggestions by others are of value only if eventually they lead the person to independence and self-control without this sugges- tion by another ; but, if they make him constantly dependent on another, they are decidedly wrong. More advisable than suggestion by another would be co-operative suggestion, such as is practised on a large scale in America by the "Success Circles," ** Purity Societies," etc. At certain times of the day, especially just before sleep, but also at fixed and definite hours, they send out prayers or thoughts of purity for every- one. This is a Hindu practice, and very beautiful. WHAT HAS SUCCEEDED. 43 One might suggest division of labour. Two people could agree to make suggestions, quite silently and unobtrusively, each about a certain fault of the other, not emphasising the fault, so much as asserting that the true self, within, is free from this fault and is possessed of the opposite virtue. Perhaps this is being done already. There are so many Societies working in this direction. For instance, there is " The White Cross Society." I have suggested another — an unobtrusive society without subscription — in a book called " Let's Play the Game" (published by Guilbert Pitman). Then there are the papers which have been helpful. That little twopenny paper, " Health and Strength," has done much by giving people a pride in their bodies ; perhaps in a large biceps which will lift a heavy weight. Anything that gives people a reasonable pride in their bodies is to be commended as a starting-point. Only the pride should not stop there : it should go on to be a pride in the body and the mind as well, fit all-round, not merely excelling in one sort of strength. Among other papers that are doing their best — though of course all papers are liable to minor errors — are *' Vim," " Vitality," and *'The Parents' National Education Review." Besides, there are countless books on the subject, including the two mentioned above. More general clubs, of educational, athletic, or hygienic kinds, are growing everj'where throughout England and America and the Continent. All these are working in the direction of purity, partly by pro- 44 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. viding a healthier outlet for physical and mental energy. So far we have chiefly considered mental treat- ments. The physical will be described in more detail in the book itself. Here we select a few ex- amples of ways that have succeeded. First of all (Chapter XXI.) there is cold water, either as the complete cold bath, or in some local use — for instance, as a hip-bath, or as a sponging at the back of the neck and the base of the spine. In some cases it is better when followed by violent exercise (XXV. and XXVI.) ; but not necessarily so. Others prefer violent exercise alone. One man used to kick a football about in his room till he was tired. Another went in for gardening ; another for rowing ; another for running ; and so on. Many (see Chapter XXVIII.) have preferred quieter habits, such as novel-reading, a game of cards, or some manual work like modelling. Others (see XVI. and XVII.) have found careful- ness in diet and drink quite sufiicient, especially if they have practised avoidance — for instance, of flesh- foods (including fish), of irritants (including pepper and most of the savoury sauces), of alcohol, and perhaps also of tobacco. Others have taken drugs, such as bicarbonate of soda or various aperient and cooling "salts." But these would only be temporary helps. Among the best of the helps is, as we shall show in Chapter XVII., leisurely eating. Beyond dispute, anyone who can and will masticate all his mouthfuls WHAT HAS SUCCEEDED. 45 of food SO long as they have any taste must have increased his self-control marvellously. Less ostentatious and objectionable, but scarcely if at all less effective, is the regulation of the breath- ing. First of all (see XXII.) there is the uplifting of the breathing — the use of .the middle and upper breathing rather than the lower. The abdomen is held in and the diaphragm is held up. Then (Chapter XXIII.) there is breathing for repose, the muscles being relaxed as one exhales. And in general there is rhythmical breathing. With such kinds of breathing the mind is much helped towards self-control and poise. Of course it is a question whether by certain aids the permanent instinct of self-control is formed or restored. For instance, if a person is self-controlled only so long as he avoids certain foods, how far has the food-treatment been actually successful ? Is that person really more self-controlled than the person who takes these foods and still remains com- paratively pure ? About one thing there can be no doubt. The less morbid and special the treatments are, and the earlier they are begun in life, the more effective and the more permanent they are. When any remedies centre round the mistake, they are less effective than when simple practices, like leisurely eating and full and rhythmical breathing, are made habitual and instinctive and preferable in the early years. Let a child learn to imagine pleasant and harmless things ; let a child learn to ask advice from 46 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. healthy people and to expect healthy answers; let a child learn the purity of his own nature and of his desires in themselves ; let a child learn a few simple facts about water, exercise, recreation, diet, and drink ; let a child — I cannot repeat it too often — learn leisurely eating and leisurely and rhythmical yet full breathing; let a child (see Chapter VII.) get an early mastery^ of many alphabets ; and there will be scarcely any need to emphasise the mistakes at all, except in order that the child may help other children through sympathy. The most successful methods everywhere have been early trainings, and these depend less on the child than on its managers ; so that the most successful methods have been methods outside the control of the child itself. The least successful methods have generally been those which have been morbid, and have not been attempted till late in life. The sooner we master the physical and mental alphabets of satisfactory all-round life, the better for ourselves and everyone. I hope that the following chapter proves their vital importance. EARLY MASTHKY OF NfANV ALPHABETS. 47 CHAPTER \'II. AN EARLY MASTERY OF MANY ALPHABETS. ** Little flower if I could understand What you are, root and all, and all in all, I should knoll' what God and man is." — Tennyson. IT is invaluable to know a few things really well, " root and all, and all in all." As an example, take the learning of those three written words suggested in the Appendix — Te Deuni laudamus. If a person, knowing hitherto little or nothing of Latin, had learnt how to pronounce these words, and had studied them as I suggest, he would have a fine starting-point for the learning of Latin, and indeed of French as well, and a number of other useful things. So, if we thoroughly mastered the pronuncia- tion, etc., of a French sentence like the old-fashioned Comment voiis portez-vous ? there would be another good starting-point. I have written a whole series of articles on " A Few Things Worth Knowing Well," and shall soon publish them in book form. I have received many suggestions from readers of the paper to which I contributed them, which sugges- tions will be included in the book. All my corres- pondents seem to agree on the general principle that, by learning a few things extraordinarily well, one can pave the way for learning many things well with scarcely any trouble whatever. Only one should begin very early, while one still 48 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. has great power to alter the brain-cells and to form good connective fibres between them.* There are many pscychologists who say that this is almost impossible after the age of 30 (others have fixed on a far lower age, even down to 20). I do not believe in this theory as a universal rule. But at least it is obvious that " the earlier the better," since then the brain is more easily and effectively changed, like moist plaster of Paris before it has set. Immediately some one objects, and says, " A little of everything, a smattering of this and that, a slip- shod outline knowledge — we do not want that for the boys." Neither do I. What I suggest is exceptional and scrupulous thoroughness in what is done (partly by repetition and approaches from different points of view, and by use of learnt mate- rials in fresh exercises), with the purpose of getting at the important principles involved and of applying these principles elsewhere. For instance, take leisurely eating. That is one thing worth knowing thoroughly well, worth master- ing once and for all. The boy ought to know it, and ought to know the reasons for it, and ought to acquire it as a fine art. He ought to have made it an instinct, a natural tendency. He ought to have set up in his brain what Professor Halleck calls " compelling organic memories." Moreover, the things must be ver}' sensibly chosen. I have cared to apply only one test in choosing the following things. I have asked myself what I should now consider it worth while to have • See Chapter XVIII. EARLY MASTERY OF MANY ALPHABETS. 49 already acquired. The list includes some things which I am still trying to acquire. Nor is it merely in the things learnt and the prin- ciples extracted that the advantage lies. The advan- tage lies also in the process of learning a thing thoroughly. Thoroughly learn to eat leisurely, and to breathe leisurely yet fully, and you not only have a healthy habit : you have also been training your- self to do all things thoroughly and leisurely. Part of the learning, again, consists in the learning of the advantages. Do not merely learn that Latin sentence, but — see the Appendix — learn why it is an advantage to learn it. And, when you have extracted the principles which that little piece of learning involves, then proceed to apply these principles elsewhere. With the same spirit, master whatever subject is difficult for you and yet a good one for you to learn. For instance (see Chapter XXXVIII.), master such a subject as English composition. Among the things best worth learning is the art of delegation, both physical and mental. The boy once learnt to walk step by step ; now he has delegated the care of walking to his under-mind, especially to the nerve-centres in part of his brain and spinal cord. So once he learnt how to read. It was an arduous task. Now he has delegated the work of reading to his under-mind : the reading is done for him. That principle is of vital importance in learning — to do a thing with such care that now you can leave it to your under-mind. When once the boy has grasped 50 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. this principle, he will have hope about himself. He will realise that there will not always be difficulty in mastering things (including himself) ; that one day what is now an effort will be a habit and an instinct. He will find himself tending and preferring to do what is right. The boy should be accustomed to the mastery of healthy habits. He should be accustomed to use his will ; but also to use sensible methods and tactics, easy beginnings, and many repetitions. Each of the following tasks is easy by itself, yet is very important. Each is to have others added to it, without being itself given up. Each is to be a basis for future achievement. The boy will not always have to attend to these alphabets. Having mastered them, he will now be able to use them without conscious care. We do not want our bo}'S always to be troubling about correct mechanism and technique and detail ; we want them to have mastered the correct mechan- ism, and then to express themselves naturally and pleasantly, along what is — thank goodness and sen- sible training — the line of least resistance. Perhaps you will say, " Wh}- bother bo}s over these alphabets ? " The answer is, that boys are, to a great extent, under our control. They object less than older people do to being drilled, especiall\' if they are allowed to show their instinctive sense of humour. In bo\hood it is far easier and far more important to form good habits. For prevention — including the invaluable instinct of prevention — is better, and in every way cheaper, than cure; EARLY MASTERY OF MANY ALPHABETS. 5 1 The first art to be mastered is better breathing — more thorough, leisurely, and rhythmical breathing, well up through the nostrils. We have given a few notes in Chapter XXII. If the boy does not learn to breathe sensibly now, he will probably not learn to breathe sensibly later on : he will say that he is " too busy." Men become too busy for almost any- thing, except what is vitally important. So do women. They are not taught " the things that belong unto their poise." Leisurely eating is another art that simply must be mastered early. It could probably be made into a healthy instinct by the time that the boy is five years old. Then he should be able to choose his foods rightly ; to refuse those that would hurt him. He should be able, not only to eat his foods rightly, but also to stop at the right time. As long as managers of children are so idiotic or cruel as to cram children with unnecessary elements, and to starve them of other elements, it is essential that the children should learn, at any rate, how to eat rightly — that is to say, leisurely — so as to get most good out of the good elements, and to counteract, as far as possible, the bad elements, by the alkaline saliva, etc. Whether or no we shall ever come to apply this system to drinking as well, as Mr. Horace Fletcher does, I cannot pretend to say. But if the boy is going to be given alcohol, for example, he may just as well learn to taste that alcohol thoroughly. Mr. Horace Fletcher maintains that in this form it is practically harmless. When it is swilled dow^n, we all know some of its effects on most people. F 52 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. The next art is that of repose. Hints are given in Chapter XXIII. The boy should get the faculty of muscular relaxation, and the breathing which corre- sponds to it, so that he may economise energy, and be restful and poised during his work, during his prayer, at intervals during his exercise, and, above all, during the night time when the body and the mind are being repaired. There is no reason why the sense of humour should not be trained as well. Some of the exercises, useful as they are, are quite ridiculous. It will not hurt the boy to laugh. That the practice of repose is of value for nervous children no one in his senses can doubt. The American schools and the English schools which are practising it sensibly are benefiting largely. Then come the positions and expressions, which are treated in Chapter XXIV. Among the principles are straightness, and remedial work to restore the straightness. It is important for ever\' purpose, whether of work or of play, that the boy should either keep the right positions or else restore upset balances by special exercises. For instance, let the untrained and " badly posed " boy begin to row, and his tendency will be to round his back and poke his head forward. The proper attitude for standing and sitting and walking will help the proper position for rowing also. Such an Alphabet of Athletics as I have offered in Routledge's Fitness Series, but considerably im- proved by experts, should, I think, be one of the alphabets which boys should master as early as EARLY MASTERY OF MANY ALPHABETS. 53 possible. It is not meant to exclude such a system of drill as Mr. Flynn has mapped out in the "" Physical Educator." Much of that drill is valu- able. But I do think that it is of equally great moment that the boy who is going to play games — and we could wish that every boy is — should be pre- pared for those games by movements such as those games involve, so that he may play the games with- out strain, may succeed better at them, may enjoy them more, may get more good out of them, and may keep in training and practice when the games themselves are not feasible. Games and athletics must be among the alphabets which a boy should master. Not only should he, learn to walk and run correctly and to start in various directions and to balance himself : he should also learn to jump, and swim, and so on. He should learn to massage himself round the navel, and all over his body, as I have suggested in another chapter (XXL). F'or the art of massage is closely connected with the art of excretion. The boy whose excretion is out of order cannot possibly be healthy. Cleanliness is another art, treated in Chapter XXI. Let the boy learn the difference between warm water (with soaping and rubbing) which cleanses him, and cold water (followed b\' rubbing) which invigorates and hardens him. Let him also learn a few special uses of cold water : in particular, its use when applied at the back of the neck and the base of the spine. That one piece of knowledge alone might 54 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. have saved an almost incredible amount of worrj' and harm. Regularity must be an early habit. It must not be so much the regularity according to the time of the clock ; it should rather be according to the occa- sion. For instance, as I have said, let a boy regu- larly blow his nose, breathe deeply and leisurely, and brush his teeth, before he washes and dresses, whether he gets up at six or at eight. Then, if possible, let him acquire the habit of excretion directly he has come out of bed — that is to say,, unless he has the (perhaps in many ways better) habit just before he goes to bed. As another in- stance of regularity according to occasion, on one night he may go to sleep at eight, on another night at ten, and so on. Regularity according to the clock is not always possible or desirable ; regularity accord- ing to occasion always is. Just before he goes to sleep, at whatever clock-time it is, let him wish everybody well ; let him wish everybody pure, healthy, happy, and helpful. The advantages of such simple practices, turned into habits by early repetition, apply to all-round life, and indeed apply to all life from the cradle to the grave, including the life in the office and in the home. Without much conscious attention to his health, the boy who is trained in this and other ways should remain fit and ready for any emergency that may arise. He should also remain self-respecting. For self-respect is another art that must be mastered early. It must become an inalienable pos- EARLY MASTERY OF MANY ALPHABETS. 55 session. Once let there be registered in the boy's brain the idea that he is a little beast, and it will take infinite trouble to destroy the memory. We cannot begin too early to teach children to respect them- selves sensibly. Let the boy respect himself as the ruler of his own kingdom within (see Chapter IX.), •or, if you like, of his own garden within ; let him respect himself also as a member of a universe and •connected vitally with all other members ; let him respect himself as responsible for his whole body and mind, and as powerful over it, especially if he has tested and now believes in his power, and so can have patience, and especially if also he can employ sensible methods. Let him be given to understand, right at the beginning, that he can and should take sensible thought for his whole self; that his body is a thing given him to be taken care of. This means that he must think in the new way ; that is the true meaning of the word translated *' repent." A true meaning of the Greek words of *** Repent," " The kingdom of heaven is within," is **' Think in the new way" (or "Hold the new thought •or idea"), " Guidance by God, the state of all-round fitness, is already within you ; it is not far away." Self-suggestion of the right kind must be taught to all children. Whether the child should be taught to address a command to itself, such as " Do it now," or " Play the game," or whether the child should be taught to assert " I'll do it now " or " I am doing it now," ." I'll play the game " or " I am playing the game," must depend on the circumstances. But self- 56 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. suggestion, of these healthy and energising kinds, as distinct from morbid self-suggestions such as " I am a miserable sinner " must be practised by all children who have not the right attitude of mind and body already. At the same time, with this freedom and origin- ality which we must allow, with this independent, self-active work of the child, there must be strict obedience to discipline. Only, for heaven's sake, let the disciplinarian be not obstinate, but ready to change when he sees that a plan is a mistake. For instance, he must see that Latin as usually taught to-day is a mistake. He must see that French as usually taught to-day is a mistake. It is right that the child should be obedient to discipline ; but the teacher for his part should be obedient to new ideas, should be ready to make the discipline always more and more sensible and logical. I am one of the few who look back to the grounding and grinding in classical grammar as extremely valuable ; but I feel sure it would have been no less valuable if it had been made more scientific. It was good for me to obey discipline ; it would have been better for me to obey a more sensible discipline. Obedience need be none the less implicit because it is obedience to something rational, something of which the teacher can explain the reason. He cannot possibly explain the reason of so much Latin and several other subjects as he generally is told to teach them to-day. Why not ? Because there is no reason. But London was not re-built in a day. Neither HABIT OF PATIENCE IN VIEW OF RESULTS. 57 can the *' education " of London and England be re- built in a day. Until we have better subjects, and better methods of teaching them, our safest plan is to get, from what we alread}' have, the best possible training and lessons that it can offer. Among them is the training in leisureliness — the lesson of patience in view of results which we shall not fully appreciate all at once. CHAPTER VIII. THE HABIT OF PATIENCE IN VIEW OF RESULTS. GAME-PLAYERS, and especially golfers, who practise systematically, may at first despair of progress. Then, it seems almost in a day, they leap up a whole class ; they find that the improvement has been made. Yesterda\' the}' played very badly ; to-day and on all future da\'s they play comparatively well. Such practice, including bedroom-practice, is not necessar}' — it is not advisable — for the genius ; in fact it may spoil his play altogether. But for the duffer it is thoroughly advisable. More duffers would practise and improve themselves, and then enjoy themselves more, if only they had the habit of patience in view of results, a habit of mind based on many small experiences in interesting spheres like this- If you likened a habit to a solid building made of many bricks, and likened each repetition of a practice or of a mental state to a single brick, you would understand how it is essential to cherish leisurely 58 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. patience in view of ultimately satisfactor}' and solid results. A better comparison, perhaps, would be the sowing of seeds. Unless you knew that one day would come the flower or the fruit, you would not sow with faith. And indeed many of your seeds will be wasted any- how. But you do know that, with proper care, there will some day come up a plant. That is the lesson which is needed in the training of character, as of physique ; and such lessons are among the advan- tages of plant-tending as a hobby — though there are many who garden so stupidly that they never carry such lessons into daily life. Gardening is full of lessons for daily life. For instance, what is the best way to treat weeds ? What lesson does one learn for the treatment of mental weeds ? In the first place, merely to pull up weeds is of little use : you must plant good seeds and pay attention to them and water them. To pull up the weeds or to poison them will then become effec- tive. Corresponding to this in the mind is a strong- willed pulling up of the bad habits, while you water and tend the good habits. You poison the mental weed by disgust at its unsatisfactoriness, by apprecia- tion of its folly and weakness. All the time, however, you must foresee the harvest — perhaps some athletic success, or anything else that interests you. Even then it may be hard to be patient ; it seems so long before the fruit appears. , Therefore, at the beginning, let your tasks be easy. Do not plant an acorn and then demand an oak in a HAHIT OF PATIENCE IN VIEW OF RESULTS. 59 few hours. Rather begin by planting something that will soon come up — say, mustard and cress. Be sure that your first attempts increase your faith in mental seed-sowing and harvest. Try such tasks as I have suggested in Chapter VII. They will give you some successes to remember; the graduation will relieve the strain upon your patience. All the time understand the principle of nature, that nothing is ever lost — no thought of yours, certainly no repeated practice. Learn also the way of nature, to do most things leisurely. Much could be taught about this slowness in the appearing of results, by a study of history. The ordinary way of learning history teaches hardly any such lesson. Dates and names — they convey no principle at all. But if we took such a subject as the causes of the Peloponnesian War and its results, we should see these causes extending far back into the past, the results extending far forward into the future. Why did Athens fight with Sparta ? One cause was that Athenians and Spartans from early times loved each their own little city-state. Another cause was the geography of Athens, as distinct from the geography of Sparta. Besides, there were the immediate provocatives of war. The effects reached down to the conquest of Greece by Macedon, and far beyond that. When we see how gradual was the fruitage, how slow to show itself, we have learnt a lesson for all life. We now feel more inclined to believe that nothing is ever ineffective, that nothing is ever lost. The word " lost " is unknown in psy- 6o INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. chology : ever}'thing always has its due effect some day, with mathematical precision — but the some day is not necessarily to-day. Patience is not entirely a slow thing ; it is not all snail-work. A patient person must also be quick not to act at all on certain occasions. He feels his temper tried ; he must be quick not to lose it ; he must divert his attention instantly. And it is a matter of clever tactics as well : it is not sheer and dull pig-headed obstinacy of the bull- dog order. If you would only use your intelligence to find out simple ways, you would soon make your- self patient. I know one impatient and irascible man who made himself patient by practising a number of little habits, washing himself thoroughly for five minutes in the middle of the day, and at intervals brushing his hair and learning a stanza of poetry ! Day after day, without letting anyone know it, he made a point of these healthy practices. He found that they not only gave him fitness of body : they also gave him patience of mind. He trained himself to be able to carry out leisurely and contentedly what would otherwise have been impossible drudgery. But part of his secret was to connect his practices with his ambitions and responsibilities. He wanted to be fit ; he knew that he ought to be fit ; he re- peated his little habits with a view to becoming fit. And that is the best way of getting the habit of patience. Keep the most attractive results con- stantly in view. In a special Course which I give on COMPELLING AMBITIONS. 6l Moral Memon- Training, I suggest ways of keeping these ambitions in view and of reminding one's self of them and of switching on to them one's practice of useful little habits. Without such ambitions the work is likely to overtax your will. CHAPTER IX. COMPELLING AMBITIONS AND RESPONSIBILITIES. WHAT boys and all other people need is some irresistible ambition which is at the same time a genuine pleasure ; which compels not by pushing and forcing, but by enticing and attracting. One of the most powerful ambitions for boys is the athletic ; and, if only it be sometimes seen in per- spective, it has no harm in it. Jesus Christ appealed to the real motives of individuals, as when he said to one man, ' You will then find treasure — in your own heaven.' As a Hindu sage wrote, " The lowest sorts of work are not to be despised. Let a man who knows no better, work for selfish ends, for name and fame ; but a man should always try to get towards the higher motive and to understand what that motive is." My own personal ambitions have been ridiculously high ; but they have been genuine to mc, and useful. I wished to succeed at various games, including Cricket ; I imagined myself succeeding in these, and in other spheres. I told no one, but I found 62 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. that it was extremely useful to remind myself of such ambitions. Then I found that such ambitions com- pelled me without any unpleasantness, without any effort. To use the old comparison, they were the wind that filled my sail and moved my ship of action and practice. I know a schoolmaster who uses this plan sensibly with his boys. Among the motives to which he appeals is suc- cess at games. He sa\'s to a boy, If you do so-and-so — for instance, if you lose your temper — you cannot expect to be a really suc- cessful bat at Cricket. He appeals to other motives, but nearly always to this among them. And, indeed, we should — - ^^^ ^• say that, in order to keep fig. 2.-Thk- Purity • Man. a steady character till the it is of no use to hold up age of thirty at any rate, this man as a model for boys : ,,U^r^ r^^r-^ i^^^A ^ u lie does not interest them as a when more ireedom can be , , u i hero, he has scarcely any pomt allowed, it is essential to of contact with normal boy- neglect no help ; to omit hood. And yet, in a sense, he no healthy ambitions what- "^^y ^ virtuous. The boy's , . , ... model of virtue must be attrac- soever, to bnng them all m ^j^^jy^ ^^.-^^^^ ^^„ly ^^, as allies. If you can, as repulsively, negatively pious. COMPELLINC; AMBITIONS. 63 Emerson suggests, ** hitch your wagon to a star,'* da so. But if you don't care about a star, then hitch your wagon to anything that will pull it forward and upward. F'orm ideals interesting to you — realise them — repeat them — bring them leisurely before the mind's eye and muscular sense again and again till they simply dominate you — and meanwhile work to- wards them in every possible way. What are your ideals ? Think for a minute, please *■ * * Now, by what simple practices can you come nearer and nearer to making them actual ? For merely to dream is fatal. Well, I believe that the real physical and mental feats, such as I have outlined elsewhere, would appeal even to boys, if onl}- they were rightl}' esti- mated by the elders themselves, and if only they w^ere put into their proper perspective and pro- spective, and used for the right purpose — for the sake of all-round health and self-respect, and as encouragements to further feats. I do not mean that the other athletic feats, such as record scores,, runs, jumps, should be left unconsidered, unadmired. Rather let a boy say to himself, " As Sweeney did his record high jump, so I will succeed here in my sphere, in leisurely and rhythmical breathing, in leisurely eating." Let a boy regard his task as a feat ; let him be ambitious to master that feat ; let him feel that he is responsible for mastering it, as well as able to master it. It will not hurt him in the least to understand some of the reasons why 64 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. these feats are of real importance for the whole of life, including athletics. Whatever game he plays, let him know that it is a game to be played against his past and present self, and not merely against others in order to beat them. He must also be given some more distinctly mental feats. These must be his ambitions as well. Let him take, as one of his mental feats, not to speak, look, think, against the all-round fitness of any one else. Rather let him wish for every one else's thorough fitness. Let him regard this control of his thoughts as a fine game to win, as fine a game to win as a match at Fives, or a hundred yards in the Athletic Sports, or some gymnastic competition. He must be told, above all, his fourfold duty : to himself all-round, to his future self and his children, to those about him, and to God. The map of life in the following chapter will make this duty clear. If any boy or man could fulfil perfectly his duty of any one of these four kinds, he would also be fulfilling all the other duties. We may consider them separately, however, for the sake of emphasis. I. First as to his duty to himself all-round. Let him satisfy his conscience. Emerson, in his essay on Self-reliance, has a fine phrase : he answers the objection that merely to satisfy one's conscience may be a very low standard of duty ; he says that, if any one tried to satisfy his real conscience in all respects for a single day, he would realise how severe the standard was. The duty to the self includes the duty to the servant-lives within. The COMPELLING AMBITIONS. 65 late Professor Virchow, of Germany, was one of the first modern scientists to insist on the individuality of the cells within us. Professor Elmer Gates, of the United States Government Laboratory at Wash- ington, has made many interesting discoveries, with the double microscope, by experimenting on uni- cellular organisms. Professor Metchnikoff, of France, has also maintained the individuality of cell-lives. The boy should regard himself as the captain of a team. To a certain extent he is responsible for the well-being of that team. He has within him his own team of workers or players. Let him regulate their food, exercise, and general well-being, as far as he can without morbid care. Let him regard these faithful little minds within him as his very own, each none the less important because it 'is tiny. Perhaps these words of Dr. Alexander Hill may help him to realise some of the cells of which he is composed, the citizens of his kingdom, on whose well-being his own well-being depends. " Every plant and every animal commences its existence as a single cell. This cell (the ovule of a plant, the ovum of an animal) is a mass of protoplasm containing a nucleus. All the active pro- cesses which characterise life are carried out by the cell. It assimi- lates ; that is to say, takes the materials upon which it lives from the juices by which it is surrounded, and converts them into its own substance. It metabolises, or sets apart, out of its own pro- toplasm, substances which it has not received in the condition in which it separates them, but has made in virtue of its own vital activity. Such products of metabolism may either remain in the cell, as is the case with the horny material formed in certain cells of the skin ; or they may be passed into the body-juices, or into one of the ' secretions ' of the glands. It respires ; that is to say, secures the oxidation of substances which it contains, in order that 66 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. force may be developed, in the form either of heat or of motion. In its early stages the ovum adds to its substance, by assimilation,, much more material than it loses by metabolism, and, con- sequently, it increases in size. But increase in size soon reaches its limit, and the cell undergoes division. The initiation and superintendence of cell-division is the business of the nucleus. .... Every specialised cell, such as a muscle-fibre or a nerve- cell, is an independent organism whose health and activity depend upon the purity of the fluid which surrounds it, and the presence in this fluid of the substances which it needs for its nourishment, as well as of the raw materials from which it manufactures its special metabolites." A boy should see that in his hands, in his organs, in his intelHgence, in his will-power, is the future of himself and the nation. 2. The second duty — to the future self and pos- sible children — is too obvious to need to be empha- sised. Some prudes object that the boy should never be taught to regard himself as a future parent : I maintain that he should be so taught at a very early age ; otherwise he will have no conception of the importance of his right choices and his mistakes. Whatever we believe about the future self, and very likely my own beliefs may differ from yours, at least we must believe that much depends on the present self, including the physical self. We cannot make physical mistakes which shall not count ; otherwise our God of justice is a sheer mockery. If God allows us to make physical mistakes without any effect, God is not the Power that Science reveals. This is how Mrs. Mary Wood Allen expresses the estate which parents hand down to their children — the estate which parents have created chiefly during COMPELLLING AMBITIONS. 67 their own early years, when the}- themselves were plastic : — " * I lieiiueath to my daughter Mary my yellow, blotched and pimpled complexion, resulting from my own bad habits of life. I l^equeath to my son John the effects of my habits of dissipation in my youth, with a like love for alcholic liquors and tobacco. I l>equeath to my son Harry my petulant, irritable disposition, and the rheumatic gout which I have brought upon myself by dis- ol>edience to physical law ; and to ray daughter Elizabeth, my trembling nerves and weak moral nature.' ' * But this is, in truth, what many parents do, and the children find it a sad, instead of an amusing fact. On the other hand, she proceeds to say, "You can change yourself by education so that the inheritance of your children may be cjuite changed. For example, if you know that you lack perseverance, you can, by constantly making a mighty effort to overcome this defect, compel yourself to persevere, and this would tend to give your children perseverance. So you see we need not despair because we have inherited faults from our ancestors, but we should determine all the more that we will not pass those defects on to later generations." Marshal Ney had a similar idea when he replied to the taunt that Napoleon had no pedigree, no blue- blooded ancestors, by saying, " We are ancestors." 3. The duty to others, especially to those about us, is equally important. The translation " neighbour " is an unfortunate one. We have a duty not merely to our neighbours, not merely to all other people, but also to animals, and even to so-called inanimate nature, which modern Science shows to be alive and moving and changing all the time. We must re- member that we aifect ever}'thing around us, not only by our actions, but also by our thoughts. If force is never lost, and if thought is a force, then it * Of course Science does not warrant the idea that such things — as distinct from teudemies, or, we might almost say, temptations- are handed down from parent to child. G 68 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. is essential that we should realise and remember that every thought of ours is an eternal and imperishable influence, changing the \vhole world somewhat from generation to generation. 4. What is our duty towards God, beyond these three duties — towards ourselves, the future, and the surroundings ? Our duty is to form the highest idea of God. " Hallowed be Thy name " in the Greek meant *' Show us that Your nature is perfects If we are to trust God, and submit to God, we want first to realise God as superior to all the best men and women whom we know. We must realise such a God, perhaps at first getting our idea of each quality (the word translated " name " meant " quality " or *' characteristic ") from the best types that we have seen : this person is forgiving ; that person is clever ; the other is patient ; yet another is this or that. From various sources we collect our ideas, always raising them higher and higher with fresh knowledge. Yet all the time this God is not to be f;ir away: our duty towards God (see Chapter XLI.) is to realise that God is within ourselves ; never by tlunight or action to separate ourselves from God : to regard God as our highest self, and to submit to that highest self and be guided by it ; to be lui by it as our sole and absolute commander. Once again, is the boy too young to know this fourfold responsibiHty? Look at the children in the slums. Apparently they are hopeless. Hut give them a sense of responsibility and privilege; give them smaller children to attend to ; and at once COMPELLING AMBITIONS. 69 their divine nature opens out and shows itself. Dr. Peabodw the headmaster of Groton School in America, and many other headmasters whom I know, find that to show the bo\- his responsibilit}- to others, to give him an ambition to help others as Avell as himself, to put him in charge of other boys as Avell as himself, is the best way to safet}' and success. These experienced men find that there is no age too young for a sense of responsibility, even if the first responsibility is the care of a plant, a pet animal, a stamp-book, a desk, a cricket-bat. I think this dia- gram (Fig. 3) will show what I mean. A person has a desire to restore some upset balance — perhaps to remove a feeling of restlessness. Now the line of least resistance seemed at first — through ignor- FiG. 3.— Desire has often led to ance— to be some action an attractive downward course, which is now easy through habit. It must be turned into a new channel, so as to lead to an at- tractive higher course; and the. action must be repeated till it be now Ihc doiiiinant habit; every repetition helps to strengthen the upper line, while the lower is which, we agree, was really a mistake ; but it at- tracted the person. Next time the tendency was towards a repetition; and so on, till the dark down- ward line was formed. weakened through non-use. What is needed is the ambition, and practice connected with it, to attract upwards, till the new path in its turn becomes easy by repetition. At first it is marked b}- individual dots or footsteps. Soon the many dots make a thick line. 70 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. Meanwhile we have the old habit-path left alone. Soon it becomes trackless ; the green has grown over it. It is our path no longer. But there must be the genuine and compelling attraction kept in view dur- ing the forming of the better way. We must look to the delightful goal often before we are tempted to go back to, or even to look at, the old downward path. From such little beginnings it is easy to teach the all-round responsibilities of all human beings, as outlined in these pages. CHAPTER X. A BETTER MAP OF LIFE. A BOY is usually shown or permitted to regard rich men as the successes among men, even after they have had a career of swindling, and have made themselves physically unhealthy, and perhaps have displayed other vices as well. This is an abominable piece of education. It sets a wrong goal in the boy's mind; it shows an utter want of proportion, perspective, prospective. For instance, the children of these ** successes " are often despic- able failures. Better ideals can easily be set before the boy through the study of leading men and women — for instance, to choose a few names, Epaminondas in Greek History, Buddha in Oriental History-, Alfred in English, and so on. Biography will be a valuable study anyhow, a specially valuable one if the boy be allowed to criticise, as Dr. Alexander Whyte has criticised some of the Old Testament characters. A BETTER MAP OF LIFE. 7I But most history-books are hopelessly inadequate as teachers for daily life. What historian gives fair play and due praise to physical fitness and such care of health as may produce a better physical and mental and moral generation ? Whereas Jason of Pherae and Philip of Macedon may have twenty pages, Galen and Hippocrates are dismissed in a bare and uninteresting and barren line. The Greeks in their education, as distinct from their history-books, were far wiser. They set before their people beautiful statues as ideals of physical excellence, while they did not despise other aesthetic and mental and moral excellences. The fact is that our teachers and managers have not realised the value of imagination when repeated and held to; such imagination is nothing less than faith. Faith is something that disregards the present appearance and holds to the present ambi- tion and realises it again and again in the mind. To the outsider this seems experimental ; to the insider it is seed-planting and seed-watering in a never fail- ing soil. Imagination is reinforced by self-sugges- tion. The forms of self-suggestion will be different for different men and women. Here I wish to suggest a healthy imagination and self-suggestion for boys. Let boys have before them a better map of life, to guide their ambitions and ideals and judg- ments of others and themselves, at a time when they are surrounded by crowds of unwholesome models. I shall put the departments in tabular form. The excellences may be classified as follows : — 'J2 INTRODUCTORY. — MAINLY FOR PARENTS, ETC. Physical excellences, which can come largely through athletic and other exercises. The body and all its parts should be swift and prompt, correcth' posed and poised, correctly moving, readily adaptable to new demands, strong and forcible, enduring, in good practice and in good condition so as to work easily ;. and working not only easily but also pleasantly. It will take some time to see and " sense" such a body. But this memory-training and imagination-training is well worth while. Aesthetic excellences. The word aesthetic has more than one meaning. The boy should enjoy himself and he should look well and fine. And this enjoyment and improved appearance should be a real ambition. The improved appearance will include not only position and movement, but also cleanliness and freshness. No boy wishes, or should wish, to look an untidy smug. Intellectual excellences. These correspond to the physical. They must be all-round. The mind, like the body, must be swift and prompt, correctly posed and poised when resting or moving, readily adaptable to new demands, strong and forcible, enduring, in good practice and in good condition so as to work easily ; and working not only easily but also pleasantly. Under the intellectual excellences we may class the economical — the saving and earning of money, as well as of the time and energy which are so closely connected with money-making. Competitive excellences will be described in the chapter on the play-spirit (XXXIX.). The boy A BETTKK MAP OF LU