^^GENTLEMAN
^ INSTRUCTED
A
^\
In the Conduft of a
^Virtuous and Happy
"^^'^ LIFE i^
^§
c^
?3
e^
Written for the
Instruction of a Young
Nobleman.
tE^e Second (tnitim.
LONDON: g
^Printed forE.EvETs at the Gref»
Dragon in St. Paul's Church-
Yard. 1704
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HJI'^fr ^
The Pubiidier to the Gentry.
PRovidence having put the follow-
ing Dialogues into my Hands 5
I take the Boldnefs to offer 'em to the
View of thePnblick under your Prote-
ftion. Thev were only intended by
the Author for the private Inftruftion
of a Young Nobleman ^ on whom they
have wrought fuch admirable Effeds,
that its Pity (methinks) to bury 'em
in Privacy, and to coiiiine 'em to one
Clofet. The Author's Defign is cha--
ritable (I am fure) but whether he
has been happy in the Execution, I
wholly leave to your Judgments. He
runs through the Duty of a Gentle-
man and of a Chriftian 5 he points at
the (hortefl: Way toGreatnefs and Goosl-
nefs^ and furnifties you with Materials
to live with Honour in this World, and
in Glory in the next.
A 2 Seeing
The Piibmcr to the
Seeing therefore this little Treatife
comes on fo kind an Errand, it will
(I pre fume) meet with a Cwil Recep-
tion: For MelTengers of good News
are feldom unwelcome.
But nothing has emboldened me fo
much to caffc thefe few Pages at your
Feet, as a fincere Tcndernefs for your
Perfons. If s Wifdom to have an An-
tidote at Hand when we fufped Poi-
fon, and dangerous to vifit a Pefl-houfe
without a Prefervative. Alas, Gentle-
men, you fuck in Poifon, you live in
Infe£lion ^ Wealth, Grandnre^ and Ex-
ample plot your Ruin, and Flattery
difguifes the Danger ^ Lewd Books are
of the Cabal, they dart Poifon to the
Heart through the Avenues of the Eyes,
and convey Death through Plao^fure.
In St. Peters Days the Devil made
his Round to prey on the Unwary 5
but now he has almoft eafed himfelf
of that Labour 5 he ads no more in
Perfon but by Deputy 5 he has com-
miflion'd Poets to Rhim^ you into De-
ftrudion, and fees Libertines to argue
you
G E NT RT.
you into Hell 5 and certainly lie ha^
had greater Succefs againft Mankind
under the Shape of an Author^ than of
a Lion 5 your Clofcta are ftockt with
defaming Lampoo>is^ lewd Plays ^ and
fcandalous Foerrjs ; you read thefe hel-
lifh Papers with Pleafure and Tranf-
port 5 they foften Nature, emafculate
the Mind, and by Degrees metanior-
phofe the Reader into as errant a Beaft
as the Poet 5 the Stile charms, the Ex«
prefSon is lufcious, and the Contri-
vance no lefs inviting than theSubjt;d*.
All thefe petty Artifices confpire to
enflame Senfe, to enliven Paffion, and
debauch the Will.
Again, to whet Appetite^and increafe
Defire, Care is taken to fet off Ladies
with all the Allurements of Eafinefs
and Condefcendency 5 they are difcar-
d^d not only of Modefty,but of Shame ^
fo that, if the Originals rcfcrnble the
Copies, if the Sex be as ill prepared
for Defence at home, as on the Stage,
the Conqueft will be made without the
Exrence oi Artillery or Bo,v/bs.
A 5> But
The Piihlifberto the
But this is not enough 5 the Poeis
take upon 'em the Office of Engineers
too ; they trace out the Approaches,
point the Cannon, order the Attack,
^nd then cry, Gentlemen^ fall on. For
why do they expofe not only to the
Eyes in the Play-houfe, but in Print
paft Bz^utalities, but to perfuade you to
ad'em over again ? And why do they
enter upon Particulars, buttodicv/ you
the Method ? They ranfack Mulberry
Garde/f^ Epfom Wells^ and other pub-
Wck Scenes of Debauchery, for the
Subjed of your Entertainment ; their
Plots and Counterplots are only layd
to trapan V\^men, and gull HeirefTesj
befides, few" licentious Intrigues mif-
carry. This is a fly Innuendo to the
Audience and the Reader, thatSuccefs
will certainly waitupon their Attempts',
and by Gonfeqaence it's a ftrong Pro-
vocation to enter upon Aftion.
And becauG: Nature has flampt on
thQ Face of Vice, Deformity and Hor-
ror, tliefe ungr^.teful Features are (ha-
ded with charming Appellations, tht
Sin
G E NT Rr.
Sin lies out of Sight under a Varnidi,
and nothing appears but the Pleafure.
For this Reifon the moft overt Invita-
tions to Evil muft be Chriften*d, jB/Z/1?/j
doHx, Levpdnefs muft be ftiled Gallan-
try^ and the StevpesV\2iC^s oi Divtrfion.
Why are innocent Names put on cri-
m^inal Things, but to confound No-
tions? but to gild over Difhonefty, (as
Apothecaries do Pills) that it may go
down without any Checks or Convul-
fions of Confcience ?
Seeing you thus clofely befieged on
all fides, and ftanding on the Brink of
Deftrudtion 5 and (what is worfe) void
of Fear, nay, lulled into a mortal Le >
thargy, without any Apprehenfion of
your Danger 5 I have brought thefe
Dialogues to your Refcue, and may
aJGTure you with fomeConfidence,they'll
prove moft ufeful and highly benefi-
cial, if you will vouchfafe to perufe
'em with unprejudiced Minds and un-
biafs'd AflFedtions.
They lay before your Eyes the moft
important Parts of vour Duty both to
A 4 God
The Fiibtijloer to the
God and Men ; the Snares of theWorld,
and Wilds of the Devil 5 the Caufes
of your Mifcarriage, and fure Methods
either to prevent or retrieve 'em 5 and
what can you defire more, but a fincere
Pvefolution to apply thefe Remedies
that are prefcribed ?
I am fenfible we live in an Age
devoted toCenfure and Criticifm^ and
therefore I have thought fit to obviate
znObje&ion or two. Some may think
the Author treats Quality with too
much Freedom, and Nobility with too
' tie flef])ed : But, Gentlemen, pray
Lerrien:iber5 there is a great Difference
between your Perfons^ and your Vices 5
thefe be honours, not thofe.
It were ridiculous to Compliment
Griminals, or to Reverence Felons on
the Hurdle 5 your Failures are brought
upon the Scaffold, not for Triumph,
but for ExeGUtion z^ to receive Pun ifli-
ment, not Applaufe 5 what Wonder
then if he handles rufly thofe Faults
he condemns ? If he tears off the Vi-
zors that conceal a loathfome Defor-
mity
G E NT RT.
mity under a falfe but tempting Supers
ficies ? He has a mind to difcounte-
nance 111, to withdraw you from the
Embraces of thefe treacherous Syrens,
that enchant your Reafon, and capti-
vate your AfFeftions in order to mur-
der your Souls; 5 that offer you imagi-
nary Pleafures, to reward your Credu-
lity with real Torments. This is cer-
tainly a charitable Dcfign, but withal
imprafticable, unlefs each Vice be
haled to the Bar, and all their Trea-
fo?js^ Forgeries andl/^^pojiures be brought
to Light, and proved upon em as clear
as the Day.
For, Gentlemen, (give me leave to
fpeak freely) you love Vice under the
Mask of Pleafure, almoft to dotage^ no-
thing can wean your Affedtions from its
bewitching Charms, but a Demon-
ftration that you are moft wretchedly
impofed upon.
Others may perchance take it ill that
the Author fports fometimes upon too
ferious a Subject, and by Confequence
tranfgreffes the Rules of Decency.
A 5 Eut
7%e Flihimcr to iB
ikit you mud: confivier, we live irr
an Age thai' ranks Serioufnefs among
Hie Vices, and Pvaillery among the
Ylitues. Alas, Gentlemen, the Spr-^
iwe-Facnlfy takes Place of the Rcafo^
nable ; Rifthiie and Rationale have
changed Places fince Arijiotle sDsiys ^
the Propriety has (lept into the Defi^
nftion of Man, and baniOi'd his moft
eiTential Fn9;redient amon^ the AcrJ-
der/U, R.^earon without Force is out
w Fafnion-; it muft appear in a Scara-
moHchc\ Drefs to obtain an Audience,
and moft bring Delight as well as In-
ftruftion, to be welcome. \
The Author condefcencis to your
We^knefs 5 and furely you will not
cenflire his Civility, nor burlefque his
Judgment, for paying Deference to
t'our Quality : Beiides, he is fenfible,
V'ict has been lau-ght into Praftice and
Reputation, and Virtue into Contempt.
Why therefore may not Virtue regain
its Poftby the fame Method it Idft it->
And why miy not the Gentry be fport-
ad itito their \y\^:^j^^ as they have been
G E NT RT
rallied out of it ? Some Poifons calF
for Treacle, others for Fire : But that
of xh^Tarar^tuU niuft be fetcli'd out by
Mufick. A Peal of Laughter enervates
the Force of this Neapolitan Venom,
and a Brace of Minuets expells it.Wha
knows but your Diftemper is of the
fame Nature ? At leaft defperate Dif-
eafes are proper for Experiments; and
though no Remedy fucceed, its a Sa-
tisfaftion to have applied all.
In fine, I fling this fmall Book at
your Feet, and if you will be pleafed
to perufe it with Leifure and Reflefti-
.on, it may not only furnifh you with
Inftruftion, but with Pleafurc 5 not
fuch, indeed, as courts Senfe, and gra-
tifies the beaftial part, but fuch as is
proportioned to the fupreme and lead-
ing Faculty, fuch as feaft a Soul, and
regales an Intelligence.
ToHY mofi Ob. Servant y
I. T. D.
The
The Preface.
\1VE me Leave ^ Dear Reader^ to
.y tiOder in the following Conferences
with afharaBer of the Author. He is
dead^ and h) Qonfequence out of the Reach
of Varfity. And as the Regularity ofhk
Life gives no hold to Satyr, fo the Ex-
cellency of hisVirtues raife him alcove Flat-
fcry. Many Reafons perfuade me to con-
ceal his Name 5 hit more to publiflj his
rare Merits.
Exa^^ple has flrange Attradtives ; the
Way to Virtue by Precepts (as the Philo-
kphcr notes) is long^ but by Example
:hort and eafie : Like the Ljiconick Dia-
:5? it exprejfes much in a little^ and
drives Arguments more home than Lo-
gick or Rhetorick. Seeing therefore^
Gentlemen have continually before*'their
Eyes fo many Statues of Vict in all Po'
fiures^ it's time to prefent ^em with one of
Virtue^ that they m.ay be convincd^ Pie-
The PREFACE.
ty is within their Reach, as well as within
th^ir Obligation:^ and that they may live
within the Circle of their Duty, without
jieppini^ o:it of the Worlds or debarring
themfelves the Freedom of Society and
Converfaticn.
And, indeed, the Life of this Gentle^
man is a plain and flanding Evidence^
that Men transform Palaces into Places
of Debauchery, not Palaces Men into De*
bauchces ; and that Courts vrould be inno-
cent, if Courtiers could refolve to remain
l^xXitbim was of aFamdy as ancient as
the Conquefi :^ and, what is parlicuLirin
all the Civil Wars and Revolutions of
State, his Anceflors were fo happy, as to
jiand by their Prince in Spight ofFa&ion
and Intereji, nor could they ever be pre-
vailed upon to part with their Loyalty for
any ProfpeB of Preferment. They chofe
rather to fall in the Defence of Jujiice^
than fo triumph with proJperousZJfurpers^
Eufebius had the good Fortune to be
born of a Mother, whofe Wifdom vied
with her Piety ^ and both^ indeed, were
exr
The P R E F A C E.
exfraoj^dinary. She tra'wed him up from
the Cradle in the Duties of a Chriflian i^
and I PI ay fay ^ he both loved. God^ and
feared. hir/Kfofoon a^ he was able to fnvn^
a. right Notion of his Perfe&ion : And
thefe firfl Imprejfions funk fa deep, that
neither Age nor Employments were able to
wear 'em off.
He was fent io the Univerfity under
the CondrtB of a prudent Governor^ who
endeavour d by Precept and Example to
improve in him thofe Seeds of Virtue his
Mother hadfowed fo early. He applied
hi mf (If to Philofophy with Eager ntfs and
Appetite, and made a Progrefs anfwera-
ble to his piercing Wit and ajjiduotfs Ap*
plication h yet he always laokt on Learn-
ing as the Acceffory, and Piety as the
Principal : That (hefaid) wa^s a meer
Embelifldment, this anindtfpenfabltOKXr
ty ; So that in Reality this was his Bu-
jlnefs, that his Giver/ion.
Tet he was none of thofe Plodders^who
feem to disband fromCompany^ and tofor^
fwear.Converfation 5 who place Virtue in
Soxvcrnefs^ and confound Piety withSpleen.
No^^
The PREFACE-
No ^ he rras free^ ca//e, and cheerfnl^ and
never refufed to partake of thofe Sports
that recreate the Alind^ a^d eafe the Bo^ .
dy^ without Prejudice to Confcience. To
pawn Innocence forPIeafure, (faidhe)
is to over-rate the one, and to under-
value the other^ To laugh whilft we
fin, is (in fome Sort) to renew the bar-
barous Cruelty of Nero^ who play*d
while i?^///e burned 5 or the foolifh Te-
merity of the Indian Phtlofopherj who
fung on the funeral Pile.
Indeed^ fHch an nn^ifnal ConduB wai
gaTjcdaty in a Place^ where ITouth gives
fnore time to the PraSice of Epicurus'x
Morals, than to thz Study ^/ AriftotleV
Philofophy ^ or where at leafi Learning
// n/ore a la mode than Piety :^ bnt this.
Admiration foon pafs'd into Efleem^ and
he who at firft was look' d^ on as a Monfter,
in Procefs of time was fliled an Angel.
He left the Univerfity to vi fit the Camp-^
and made fever al CampagneS7/;;/^er N.
N, Neither Interefi nor Ambition cal/ed
him into the Field 5 the only Aim ofhk
RefoJution mas to learnt, the Myfteriss of
War^
Tlie PREFACE.
Wd}\ that he wight be one Day in a Capa-
city to ferve his Prince with Honour ^ancl
his Country with Succefs.
Piety feidom follows an Army. Soldiers
fcem to leave Confcience in their Winter'
^arters^ as well as Religion^ that they
tp/ay fin without Cheeky and be damned
VPithoiit Apprehenfion. Eufebius difap-
proved this ill Husbandry. Our Care
(faid he) muft rife with the Danger 5
and feeing we are not affured of an
Hour, it's Madnefs to negleft our Soul
one Moment. I fuppofe^ (continued
he to a Friend) when we put on a Red
Coat, we put not ofFChriftianity, nor
receive a Commiffion from God to live
at Pleafure, when we enter into the
Service of our Prince 5 no, no^ let us
diQ like Men, but live like Chriftiansj
this is the only Way to leave an honou-
rable Memory in this World, and to
find a glorious Reception in the next.
His Life in the Camp was anfwerahle
to his Principles^ he prayed half an Hour
an hk Knees Morning and Evenings and
mver omitted to be prefent at pnblick
IPrayers 5
The PREFACE.
Prayers 5 whe^f he was not on Duty^ he
would never fuff^er either prophage or oh*
fcene Difconrfe. For (fatd he) it's hard
to hear without Sin thofe things that
can't be fpoke without Offence ; to
permit Crimes, is to abet *em. When
he could not excufe an Officer^ Faulty
he always leffend it ; and fpoke ill of no
Body but himfclf. He compared Detra*
&ors to your Italian Bravoes, who attack
People behind^ and ftab Bodies at una*
wareSy ivhilfl thofe kill a Mans Reputa-
tion.
One Ddy an Officer told him^ Wat
called for Courage , not Virtue 5
that Pvefolution carried the Day, not
Confcience.
That is (replied he) Ambition chal-
lenges the time of War, Diverfion the
time of Peace, and Sin every Moment
of your Life 5 but then who will claim
the Moment of your Death ? God !
Alas, Sir, you'll neither have the time
nor the Thought to difpofe of it fo
advantagiouflv 5 as you live in Sin, fo
in ali Probability you'll die in It.
You
The PREFACE.
You are iniftaken. Sir ; Sin enervates
the Mind, not Piety ^ and could we
read theThoUs^-htsof our Soldiers, w^
mould find too little Confcience drove
more of 'em out of the Field at the
Battle of N". than too much. A Man
muft be either an Atheifl:, or mad^ to
front Danger in Sin.
Eufebins proved beyond Demonjiration
thnt Virtue is no Rnemy to Valour :y he
brciithcd nothing bnt Sieges^ Battels and
Expeditions 5 he went to Combats with
as compofed a Countenance^ as others
march to Triumphs ^ and^ like Hannibal,
was the firfi in the Fields and the laji
out of it 5 he generally ask'dthe moji dan-
gerous Poft, and fought Perils, as if he
had a tnind to fall:^ yet he always came
off with Safety and Applaufe ^ Providence
feemed to have made him Proof agatnft
Ball ar?d Sword ^ and his Virtue armed
hin; acdhifi Fear.
Beh/g challenged once to a Duel, he
anfwer d coldly. Sir, though I fear not
yourSvVord, I tremble at my Maker's
A^nger ^. I dare venture my Life in a
The PaEFACE.
r.ocd Canfe, but cannot hazard my
Soul in a bad one. TJl charge up to
the Cannon's Mouth, but want Cou-
rage to (lorm Hell. Ar^d when a Friend
told him , he muft either Fight, or
forfeit his Honour. You are mi-
ftaken, (^ replied Eufhhius) Til gain Ho-
nour by my Difgrace, and Olew the
World I am no Coward, by daring
cenfure and obloquy. He is courage-
ous and brave, who ftands up for Con-
fcience againft the falfe but prevailing
Maxims of Cuftom and Opinion, not
he, who betrays his Duty, and dreads
more an imaginary Imputation, than^
a real Crime. Eukhius retHmed from
the Army with Glory:, and brought off' his
Piety in Triumph. He was received by
his Majier with open Arms^ and advancd
to an honour abh Poji. He labour d for
his BenefiSors Intcreft^ not his oipn :^
and ufed to fay. The Prince fhould al-
ways carry off the Profit, and the Sub-
j:d[ the Glory of doing well.
He coild not end^ire to purchafe At-
tendants With fair PromifeSy and then to
re-
The PPxEFACE.
reward theirExpe&atioft with Difappoi^t"
me>/t. His Inttntions were as fimere as
his V/ords^ and he never promifed a Fa-
vokv^ hut he defignd. it. He co:dd not
end lire to tantalize Pretendants with gay
Hopes^ and in the End difmifs *em with
an airy Compliment. This is (faid he)
to fpeod their time, and drain their
Purfe with infignificant Waiting, to
tempt their Patience, and in the End
to draw 'em to be your Enemies.
Eufebius found at laji, that Innocence
is not above the reach of Envy ^ and that
in Courts Virtue is off en punijVd^ and
Vice rewarded. A Club of Courtiers ca^
hard againji him^ and perfuaded the
Prince to difcard him. He bore this Dif
grace with an Evennefs of Temper^ that
furprized his Enemies^ and^ like the Sun
in an Eclypfe^ all gazed on him with Ad-
miration. Though he was overpower d^
he coif Id not be overcome, He look'd bright
ter under a Cloudy than in the fall Meri-
dian of his Grandure^ and all concluded
he was no lefs in Misfortune^ than he
had been in the high :ji Splendor of Glory.
A
The PREFACE.
A Friend tcniptecl him to firike in
nth a FaUion agnihjl his Prince :^
b it^ he received the Propofition with In-
dignation and Triorror. No, Cf'^id he) I
had rather be wretched without aFault,
than great with a Crime : Duty call'd
me to my Matter's Service, not Intereft ;
and ril rather pawn my Life, than for-
feit my Loyalty ^ my high Pretenfions
]ie in the other World, not in this ; my
Prince raifed me to a confiderable For-
tune, now he thinks fit to di (charge me,
ril thank him for the Favour, and not
repine at his Juftice. I accepted the
Station at his Command v*^ith Grati-
tude, and I quit it with Refignation.
He Teas received again intoFavour:^ yet
this unexpcBed Turn wrought no Altera*
tion in his Humour ^ he rofe with the fame
X)nc oncer nednejs he fell \ he was above
the Charms of Profperity^ and Proof ^-
gainfi the Stroke of Adverfity 5 neither
good Fortune pup him up^ nor had de»
prefs'd him ^ he never thought ofReveng'-
ing thofe Affronts he had received from hk
Rivalsy but ufed his Power with Mo-
deration^
The PREFACE.
deration/ J and returned Civility for TJn-
kindnefs.
He retired at the Revolution from
Bn/inefs^ and gave himfeVf "wholly to the
PraStice of Virtue 5 he was advancd in
ICears.and refolvd to devote theRemain-
der of his Days to Eternity. I may die
foon (faid he) but can't live long; its
Prudence therefore to manage every
Moment as thelaft, becaufe it may be
fo. He difcharged hk Debts immediate-
ly^ faying^ this was too preffing and
too important a Bufinefs, tobe trufted
to an Hours Integrity, that many fuf-
fer in the next World for a Succeffor's
Negleft in this.
One that lived fo well^ could not die
ill ; for every Mans Death is a Copy of
his Life^ and exaUly refemhles the Or i^
ginal. In his laji Sicknefs he (f)ewed all
the Bravery of a Soldier^ and all the Pie-
ty of a Chrijiian 5 he bore the Dolors of
his Dijicmper not only with Patience^ but
Tranfport^ and looked Death in the Face
roith the fame TJndanntednefs he often
beheld the Enemy in Battel. Sir, (faid
he
The P R E F A C F.
he tv his Nephew flanding) remember
you are born to the fame Fate, yoa
may read your Deftiny in mine 5 yoa
will once be in the fame Circumftances
you fee me 5 yon know not when you
mufc take the laft Farewel of Life ^
Death ftealsupon us like a Thief, and
ftrikes without Noife, without Warn-
ing : Seeing therefore you are never fe-
cure, be always prepared, leave no-
thing to Chance or Hazard; a Surprize
is poffible, and (whatisworfe) irrepa.
rable. Never pretend to (how yourWit
by difputing Principles, nor think you
own your Reafon moft, when you leafl:
own your Faith. Tiiis is to place Wit
in Folly, and Reafon in Impiety. Pra-
dice Virtue, this is your only Bufinefs,
it will make you content in this World,
and open a fair Profpeft of Felicity to
the next»
His Words feemd tipt with Fire^ they
pierced the Hearts of all that were pre^
Jent^ and warmed their Affe&ions 5 whilfi
all Mourned^ he alone was joy fid. In fine ^
recommending his Soul to the Mercy of
his
The PREFACE.
his Redeemer^ he gently expired^ leaving
behind a Pattern for Gentlemen s Imita-
tion. Thus died Eufebius a Scholar,
Soldier, and Courtier, and in all thefe
States a Saint.
Let Gentlemen learn by this Example^
they may be Great and Good 5 and that
they may difcharge themfelves with Glory
of all the Offices of Society^ without be-
fraying the Duty of a Chriflian.
A
A
Gentleman Inftruded;, &c.
DIALOGUE I.
Neander a Toung Gentleman dejires Eu-
febius to injlru^ him in the Duty of
a Gentleman.
Eufehiiis. 1£ "V" TElcome Dear Neander :
%/%/ What fair Wind has
▼ V blown me the Fa-
vour of fo early a Vifit ? This is extraordi-
aary.
Neander. Pray; Why fo? my Bufinefs
has been up and abroad, thefe two Hours j
is it not high time to follow it ?
Enf. Ay ! But our Town Sparks have
fomething of the Oxvl^ they rife at Night.
and lie down in the Morning. They'ob-
ferve a moft exad Symmetry in diforder,
and like Lobfiers go backwards \ in a word,
B they
t
^ A Gentleman inftra^cd^ Sec.
they turn Nature Top(ie-tur\^ie, or read it
backwards : Its Gentile and Modifli to out-
fleep the Sun, and an Argument of Peafantry
to do like other Men.
Nean. I have left the College too lately
to be acquainted with the Cuftoms of the
Town : I have not open'd the CeremonUl^
nor perufed the Ritual da mode : Yet me-
thinks, to turn Night into Day is an odd
Metamorphofis: Nature (fure) never in-
tended Eyes for Darknefs : Gloe-worms
indeed are obliged to Night, it fets 'em off^
and makes their faint Luftre fparkle with
more ecUt. But why Men Ihould dote on
Shades, and range in Obfcurity, I can't Di-
vine, unlefs they long to duel with Pofts
sind try a Rubber at Loggerheads *, in (hort,
its.a Battilh Humour, and jars with my Gon-
Ititutioii.
Euj\ JFor all that, you mud take up with
Night ', and be reconciFd to Darknefs, if
you intend to ftand fair with our own Town
Sparks^ they are of the Family of A4digara^
true Sons of Night and Erehns. Light (trikes
too hard on their 'Eyes, it dazles 'em like
Opium : It even works on the Brain and ftu-
pifies^ burthen, towards the Evening they
return to themfelves, and adjourn to the Ta-
vern, and from thence fafly out upon the
Wafch, and imanfully ftorm Giafswindows.
la
A Gentleman injlrnciedy Sec. 5
In fine^ Their Dufinefs and Reafon fleep
in the day and>, rife when Wife Men go to
Bed.
Now I fuppofe you intend to enter into
the Confraternity, you'il not want mofl: kind
Invitations : Thefe Blades lie on the Catch-,
and place Sentinels on Oxford Road to give
Notice when a Price draws near^ that is,
when a Gentleman leaves the College •, and
then they fly to the Innocent Youth like Ea-
gles to the Quarry *, they proffertheir Ser-
vice^admire his Parts, Compliment him into
Snares, wheedle him into Debauchery ,
Empty his Pockets, Wound his Soul, Stab
his Reputation ^ and when they have Mar-
tyred his Innocence, and Imbezzelcd his E-
ftate, kick him out of their Company, and
fo exit the Young Squire.
Nean, A Man (I fee) mufl; carry his Wits
about him at London ^ he muft ftand on his
Guard to prevent a Surprize, and fufped
Friends, notto be over-reach'd by Enemies.
Like the Lion he muft fleep with his Eyes o-
pen : Well^ a danger forefeen is half avoid-
ed. Eufcbiiis^ I have been diford^red fince
my arrival, aad thought lall Night more
Hours, than I flept Minutes.
Ettfeb. What / Are you fmitten fo foon ?
Some Female Beauty has (I. fuppofe) ftorm'd
your Heart, and Good-Nature has beat the
B 1 Chamitdc.
4 A Gentleman inflru&ed^ &c.
Chamade. The Articles are ( no doubt )
drawn up and Signed ^ unlefs perchance
you refolve to furrender at Difcretion : But
in good earneft, Has Liberty given you a
Surfeit ? Has Freedom galFd you ? Will you
try how neatly you can dance in Fetters,
and caper in Trammels ? This is a Sample of
Univerfity Breeding •, your Collegians are a
pack of awkard Animals, full of Wit, but
without judgment to manage it \ one would
think they fludied not to grow Wife, but
Fools •, to lofe their Reafon, or to forget the
life of it. They no fooner enter into the
World, but, like Children, they chace e-
very Butterfly, and run on the Spur to their
Ruin. Ah-, Dear Nemdcr I take Care \ a
precipitate Choice makes way for a long
Repentance ^ ftifle the firft Sparks of Love,
time will quickly Fan 'em into a Flame j a
green Wound is eafily healed, but a feftered
One ends in a Gangreen.
N'c^.n. Under Favour, you run riot on a
falfe Conjedui e. I am not Heart«Sick, but
Town Sick,
Eiffeb. Town-Sick ! This is, without per-
ad venture, an Outlandifh Diftemper ^ there
is not one Receifc for it in our London Dif-
penfatory : However, the Difeafe is not dan-
gerous, for I find no mention of it in our
Weekly Bills of Mortality, in what Mould
for
A Gentleman inftru&ed^ &c. 5
for God's Sake were you caft? Surely you
are of fome more refined, more Celeftial
Temper, than other Gentlemen, without
Senfe, without Paffion •, in fine, all Angel ;
all Seraphin-
Nean. Not fo neither.
Ehfeb. What then ?
Nean. Why Sir ? I am a Man, fubjeft to
all the Infirmities of Human Nature •, but I
would not willingly furrender my Reafon,
nor quit the Privilege of Nature \ I would
not throw up my Claim to Heaven for any
earthly Pretenfion : In fine, I have no Incli-
nation to go to Grafs with Nehttchadonor^nr ;
nor to lie in the fame Bed with Brutes. I am
a Man by Nature, and a Chriftian by Grace,
and would neither debar my Reafon, nor
throw a Scandal upon my Profeflion : In a
Word, ril iave my Soul.
Eufeb. Nea>?der^ Let me embrace thee-, I
was juft lighting a Candle (as Dio^e?7e: did at
Athens) to find a Man in London, I thought
Piety had taken leave of our Nation, and
that Chriftianity had flown over to the Con-
tinent \ but, God be thank'd, we have left
among us one Man, and one Chriflian ^ fo
that the whole Species is not extinft. We
live in a mad World, without Method,
without Order \ we feem to play at Crofs
Oiiefli€m : Virtue and Vice have changed
R 3^ Places,
^ A Gentleman hj^ridted, &c.
Places, and almofi: Names, and ev-en Wit is
confounded with Folly ; Rcafon confifts no
more in the life, but in the Abufe of it.
Gentlemen debauch them felves into Credit,
and draw Fame from Impiety -, the whole
Bufinefs of Chriftians lies in confuting their
Belief by their Fraftice : Thefe monftrous
Irregularities have ( more than once ) mo-
ved me to fufpeft, that the moft Wife, and
Thinking part of Mankind is coopM up in
BedUm^ whillt Mad-men and Fools range a-
bont the Town in Coaches.
This Man whines away at a Strifrnpet'^s
Feet, his Eftate, his Health, and his Soul
loo ^ another drowns his Reafon in Claret
5ind Cavary^ he plays the Brute all the Week,
and rifes a Man on Sptnday Mormng : A Third
delivers himfelf up to his Palate, and con-
demns his Wit to drudge for his Gluttony \
be judges of Meats by the Price, not by the
Tall ; and thofe only regale his Appetite,
that drain his Pnrfe ^ his Study is to provoke
Huns;er, not to lay it, and feldom rifes from
the Table, till a Surfeit forces him to call for
a B^fon.
A Fourth has perchance received the Lie^
and in a HufFbauls out for Satisfaftion, (/. (\)
a St-ib ^ the Stage is prepared, and up the
HeU&rs jump with drawn Swords, (like the
Raman Slaves) to give Di/erfion to the Spe-
(t\ators :
A Gefttleman irfftru&ed^ &C. 7
dators : If this be not Folly and Madnefs
without Mafque or Difguifc, pray give me
theirDefinitioni its hard to determine whe-
ther this Conduci be a fitter Objeft for He^
racUtHs^s Tears, or Democritm*% Laughter \
its a Compound of Farce and Tragedy, but
a Vein of Folly runs throughout the whole
Mafs. '
Religion keeps pace with our Realbn,
and is juft regarded as much. Methinks
our Worfhip fmells fomething of Pagan-
ifm, for we adore God (as the Heathens did'
Hercules^ with Showers of Stones and Brick--
bats, (F/Z.J of Oaths and Blafphemies •, this
is the only Homage we think fit to pay our
Maker ; and indeed it is a kind of Recogni-
zance, and is fo far commendable, as it puts
us in Mind there is fuch a thing to believe in,
and to pray to, as well as to fwear by. Now
why we fhould be fo fparing of our Prayers
is a hard Qpeftion.
Some may perchance imagine the Pojflure
of a Suppliant is below an Englijli Courage •,
befides> its an uneafie Figure, and argues
much Want or great Covetoufnefs, two hea-
vy Imputations for a Gentleman \ moreover,,
Kneeling is a Mark of Subjeftion and Bafe-
nefs •, for I was once told, that a Yeoman on
his Legs was taller and greater than a Prince
on his Knees: This is a rough Draught of
B 4 our
8 A Gentleman injiru&ed^ &c.
our Town Wit and Religion, without one
dafh of Satyr or Hyperbole : They are both
'^t a low Ebb, and God knows when the Tide
will turn. Nemder^ ftand on your Guard,
and look to your Confcience, as well as to
your Purfe ^ for I allure you, the one is in
lefs Danger than the other ; unlefs you carry
a watchful Eye over your Thoughts and A-
(f^ions, you will fall into Snares that are laid
to entrap Innocence.
Neand, However, Surely God has not ti-
ed up our Duty to Iinpcffibilities ^ he tells
us, his Yoke is eafie and his Burthen lights
and then afiures us by the Mouth of his Apo-
Pile, that our Power is always equal at leafl:
to the Temptation ^ we may therefore dif-
charge our felves of all the Offices of Lite
^nd Converfation, without overlooking the
Duty of a Chrillian \ for certainly God ne-
ver framed our Tongue for Silence, nor our
Reafon for Solitude -^ we may handle 'em both
right^ as well as vorong^ and employ 'qm to
a good life, no lefs than to an ill one, I hope
there is no neceffity of failing intoffj'^r, and
of taking up in the Wildernefs o^ Thehais^
nor of running ito a Convent^ or of receiving
Holy Orders at Rome ^ for though thefe Good
Fathers may walk pretty fecurely to Heaven,
yet 1 underftand they make the Voyage a-
loae • Now I fcql no Charms in Cellhacy -^
and
A Gentleman injlruBed^ &c. 9
and befides, they are by Law difleized not
only of their Birthright, but even of the Be-
nefit of the Clergy •, fo that they can chim
no Liberty but that of the Prifon, no Pro-
perty but the Gallows. I have no Inclinati-
on to fiing up my Eflate, and as little to lay
it at the Mercy of Greedy Favourites ^ nor to
fly to Heaven by the way oiTib^m : I would
not withdraw from Society, nor forfwear
Company, nor (like old Timon) disband from
my own Species.
Enfeb. You have Reafon •, God condemns
us not, as Pharaoh^ to the Drudgery of ma-
kingBricks without furnilhing us withMateri-
als ^ he proportions his Grace to our Wants,
and never commands us to fight on unequal
Terms •, the Advantage lies on our fide, and
if we give ourAdverfary the higher Ground^
our Defeat muft lie at our own Door ; we
may be over-come,but can't be over-power-
ed i our Cowardife gives Temptation the
day, not our Weaknefs.
Befides, Virtue is not confin'd to Place
or Condition ^ it may be pradifed in Towns
as well as in Defarts ^ and no lefs by Cour-
tiers, than Peafants : nay it ihines (methinks)
in a Palace, like the Sun in the Meridian,
with Pomp and Majefty ^ for what can evea
Fancy paint more Charming and more Glo-
BiouSj thaa Grandees neither abjedt in Ad-
B 5 verlity.
10 A Genl leman injlrn^ed , See.
verfity, nor infolent in Profperity ^ than
Courtiers peaceable ia the noife of Affairs,
Temperate in the midft of Excefs, unchange-
able in Viciffitudes, and conftant in all the
turns of Fortune ; untainted with Lufts,
compofed in Tumults, and fmiling at all
thofe things, that are either expefted or
feared by others •, than Men who have the
Power to do what they will, and the Will
to do nothing but what is juft and reafona-
ble? This is no Platonick but a Chriftian
Virtue •, it is not only found in Fiftion and
Romance, but has been commended to Pra-
ftice ) it has appeared more than once on
our//«9n;^(?;;,fupported by Dignity, and wait-
ed on by all the Magnificence of Power and
Royalty : You may therefore hold your E-
ilate without flinging up your Title to Hea-
ven*
Nea?7, Indeed had Providence cut off my
Claim to Heaven, when it entruftedme with
a Loraflnp^ I fhould have been no Gainer by
the Bleffing , notwithilanding though V^irtue
be in my Power^ if Vice be in my Will, I
flial], without Queftion, be miferable : Let
me therefore defire you to favour me with
fome Rules,by which I may fhape myCourfeii
you haveftemm'd the Tides of Youth, and
beat back Temptation with Courage and
Succefs ; thefe Waves that have paft by you,
ruQi.
A Gentleman inflrn^ed, 8cc. I t
rufh on mc •, fo that the Danger is certain^
my Efcape doubtful. 1 fling my felf into your
Arms. I have at leafl: learnt the firft LefTon
of Prudence, viz.. To fubrait to the Advice
of thofe whom Age and Experience have
fufficiently inftrufted.
Nea?!. My Age is on its Declenfion, yet I
am not (God be thank'd) afham'd to live^or
afraid to die ^ I neither contemn Life^ not
overvalue it *, and therefore expeft my quietpt^
efl with Patience, and will welcome my Dif-
charge. 1 have withdrawn from the Hurry
and Tumult of worldly Affairs, and now
lead a Retired, but not an Ignoble Life : I
gave my laft Farewel to the Court, not by
Force, but Choice •, and indeed^ it de-
ferves no Thought but of Contempt. I have
tafted of Bad Fortune, and of Good-,
but never placed my Happinefs in the
one 5 or my Mifery in the other v
nor have I entred into the World like
a Mute, merely to fill the Stage, No, I
once made no contemptible Figure by my
Prince's Benevolence, and though in the con-
fufion of the Government, 1 fell from m.y
Poll, I carried off my Honefty in Triumph,
and expofed my Eftate to fecure my Loyalty v
yet, God be prais'd, I am not brought to
the Basket j though I had rather live on
Charity than Rapine, and wou'd loonereavn
my
12 j^Genfteman wjiru^ed^ &ۥ
iTiy Bread by the Sweat of my Brow, than
of my Confcience. In my Retirement, I
have had occafion to ftudy Things, and ta
refieft on Men, and have made Obfervations
on both, fb that I am not quite unprovided
of thofe Qualities the Office you impofe up-
on me requires : Til therefore take the Li-
berty to counfelyou as a Friend, not as a
Mailer •, let us retire into my Glofet.
DIALOGUE 11.
Eufebius inftrn^s Neander in the Duty
of a Chriftian.
Cnfik XT'OU muft ad two Parts i of a
\ Gentleman, and of a Chtiftian:
We'll difcourfe of the latter at our next
Meeting, and at prefent only touch the for-
mer. Some Gentlemen keep up to their
CharaQ:er without the adventagiousHelps of
Precepts, or Education •, you may read
their Birth on their Faces -^ their Gate and
Mei?7 tell their Quality •, they both Charm
aujd Awe, and at the fame time ftafn Love
^nd Reverence •, their Extraftion glitters
yijder all Difguifes ^ it fparkles inSackcloth*^
^d breaJvS through all the Ctouds of Pover-
ty
A Gentleman injlru^ed^ &c. 15
ty and Misfortune \ there is a je ne fcay quoy
in their whole Demeanour, that tears off
the Vizor> and difcovers Nobility though it
fculks incognito \ they are refer ved without
Pride \ and familiar without Meannefs j they
time their Behaviour to Circumftances, and
know when to ftand on tip-toe, and when
to ftoop : In fine, their moft trivial Adi-
ons are Great^ and their Difcourfe is No-
ble.
Others feem to be born Gentlemen to
fhame Quality •, one would fwear Nature in-
tended to frame 'em for the Dray^ and
Chance flung 'em into the World with an
EfcHtchem : They are all of a piece, Qown
without, and Coxcomb within •, and fo like
Foflingtons are graced with Titles to play the
jife by Patent : Thefe of the firft CUffe need
no Precepts, and thofe of the Second de-
ferve none •, however, Counfel may be ufe-
ful to others •, for Behaviour is acquired
like other Arts, by Study and Application^
I.
To begin the Part of a Gentleman, per-
fwadeyourfelf, its your Duty, andlntereft
to adt it well •, for whofoever looks upon it
as a matter of fmall Concern will come off
with Difefteem 5^ he will follow the Bent of
Nature, aad fwim. down the Stream of In-
clinatioii,
14 -4 Gentleman inflrtt&ed^ Sec.
clination, rather than ftrive agaiaft it ; for
who will balk Humour, or fence againft ill
Cyftoms for nothing ? This I take to be the
Reafon, why fo many in Converfation fall
below their Station i they fancy a Title fup-
ported with Means, places 'em in a Region
above the Niceties of Breeding*, that a Sir
gilds the moft unbefeeming Behaviour, and
a Coronet dignifies Rufticity \ but this is a
miftake •, for as Gentlemen ftand above the
Crowd, fo they lie more open to View and
Cenfure : For Aftionsare not rated by Men,
but Men by Aftions ^ and if thefe fmell of
the Clown, or fute with the Peafant, Right
IVorjhipfnl muft be content with thofe Titles;
for the Moh knows well enough, that Gen-
tlemen can claim no Refpeft from Nature :
they are all of the fame Matter, and the Soul
of a Laz^arm is of as refined a Metal as that
of Dives J and therefore, if they fee no ad-
vantage, on Quality's fide, but a Coach and
Six V they be apt to think themfelves as good
Men as their Mafters, though not fo Rich ;
and that they are beholden more to Chance
or Injuftice for their Fortune, than to Me-
rit.
II.
Let not your Family be the Subjeft of
your Difcourfe^ nor fling the Regifters of
your
A Gentleman infirnSfed, &C. 1 5
yourGenealogy on theTable before all Com-
pany ', this Topick is both Fulfom and Un-
gentile •, its a fhrewd Argument you are big
of Conceit, and more obliged to your An-
ccltors for your Blood, than for your Wit ;
though your Great Grandfather rode Ad-
miral at Sea with 2000/. per anmm^ if he has
left Pofterity no other Mark of Jiis Great-
nefs, but his Vices, I fhall rank him among
the molt wretched Creatures that ever brea-
thed •, feeing the height of his Station only
rais'd him above the Vulgar to proclaim his
Shame, and render his Infamy more perfpi-
cuous i its a Madnefs to take the meafure
of our Deferts by the parts of our Forefa-
thers, their Perfonal Worth adds not one
Hairs breadth to our Stature : We may en^
ter upon their Eftates, and perchance upon
thei r Titles, but not upon their Virtues j
thefe are neitherentailed on the Family,
nor alienable by any Deed of Convey-
ance.
Befides, whoever rakes in the Afhes of the
Dead, may fall upon the Stench inftead of
Perfumes ; for after Enquiry, who knows
but you may find the Source of your Nobili-
ty tainted with Treafon, and that the very
Title you bear is the price of Difloyalty ?
Now though according to the Proverb,
Thofe Children are hapfy vphofe Parents are in
Hell\
1 6 A Gentleman infirn&edy &c.
Hell'^ yet certainly, a Son (hould not boafi:
of the Purehafe, nor look big becaufe iiis Fa-
ther is miferable : Let your Anceftors there-
fore lleep in their Graves, and be not fo
foolifh as to difturb em by your Vanity \ a^
dopt their Virtues by Imitation and Pra-
dice i but have a care of their Vices. I ho-
nour Nobility fet off with Merit, but whea
he has no other Prop than Money and Patent •,
I always compare it to thofe proud Temples
of Egypt^ that under Gilt Frontispieces, and
AznrU Vaults, lodged nothing but Statues
of B^s and Crocodiles. 1 value more an In-
nocent Ploughman, than a Vicious Prince :,
and prefer his Nobility who has built a great
Fortune, upon Worth and Virtue, before
his, who by Succeffion receives one.
III.
As its ungentile to boaft of our Family,
fb its no lefs Mean and Child ifli to fpend
Rhetorick on our Performances. If your
Prince and Country honour you with a high
Eniployment, either in the Camj> or the
Bench, difcharge your felf of the Trull with
Reputation : deferve Panegy ricks, but play
not the Orator your felf ^ though you are as
Eloquent as Tully^ you'll only labour to fpoii
at good Subject, and whilfl: you vainly fet off
your own Feats^ you'll meet wkh^ nothing
but
A Gentleman inJirnSfed^ See. 17
but Shame and Infamy . N. N. was an excel-
lent Souldier, he fear*d nothing but Fear ;
he chofc always the ^^«, and was often the
firfl: Man on the Breach •, all admir'd his Cou-
rage, and prais'd it ^ and even thofe who
difapproved his Conduft, did Juftice to his
Valour i but this Gentleman loft at Table,
the Glory he had won in the Fields and talk-
ed away in his Winter Quarters the Honour
he had pnrchafed the whole Campaign. I
did this Jpdid he, at the Siege of ^, and thu at
the Battle of ^ ^ had I not feized on fuch a
Poft at "^ ^, the Army had been in Danger :
One would have thought all the Generals and
Soldiers had been in Garrifon, and that iV*.
iV. with his fmall Brigade alone, defeated
the Defigns of theRv^ck This overgrown
Vanity coft him dear ^ for inftead of gaining
the Reputation of a General, he went off
with that of a Fop, and all concluded he was
too ambitious of Praife to deferve any. Your
deep Rivers move with a filent Majefty,
{hallow Brooks alone make a Noife and
Tumult among Pebles. The great Marfhal
tie Tu-ene never fpoke of himfelf, but forced,
and even then, with Modefty : And though
the King was wholly indebted to the wife
Conduft of this Gallant Man for many Vifto-
ries, yet he never faid fo : No, he won U
lay Mifcarria^es at his own Door, and Suc-
cefs
1 8 A Gentleman injiru&ed^ 8cc
cefs at that of his Officers and Soldiers ^ this
made him appear great even in his Over-
throw, and generally his Moderation was
more glorious to him than Vidtory. Imi-
tate the Silence of this Hero^ not the noifie
Impertinence of Fools ^ carry off the Satis-
faction of great Adions, and let others go
with the Honour of praiiing 'em, and let
People rather learn your Atchivements at the
Stationers, thanat your Table,
IV.
Avoid the modifh Rant of Oaths, and Im-
precations : It's an ungentile Dialeft, as well
as unchriftian, and clafhes both with the
Rules of Breeding, and of the Gofpel. Cu-
ftom indeed has made 'em fafhionable, but
neither civil nor lawful j For Vice can ne-
ver plead Prefcription. I know it lies un-
der the Protedion of Number and Qiiality ;
but 111 things have no right to Sanftuary :
Becaufe Vermin fwarm.,mufl: they be permit-
ted to encreafe ? Shall the Number ot Felons
plead for Pardon ? No, no, the Cuftomari-
nefs of 111 things makes 'em worfe -^ and the
more they muft be difcountenanced, and
taught Difcipline. In a Word, whatever
jars withReligion,and cuts upon goodBreed-
ing, is below a Gentleman : And therefore
in Spight of Example and Pradice, I muJl
caution
A Ger^tleman inflru cicely &c* 19
caution you againft fome parts o^Enelijh Ci-
vility ^ for though they go for Content in the
£;?^ ///J; Dominions, they 11 not bear the Tefts
of other Nations.
For Example, Bamn ye^ fays one, / am
lladtofee yoH : Is not this a quaint Salutati-
on ? Firft to pack me away to Hell ? and
then to protefl: he is glad to fee me fo con-
veniently lodgM ? What Provifion will thefe
Blades make for their Enemies, if they
place their Friends fo untowardly ? Cer-
tainly, they fancy Hell is a fine Seat, and
that the Damned are in a fair way of Promo-
tion?
Damn ye Dog how doft doe ? crys another :
This feat Compliment implies Damnatioa
and Transformation too : Its a Compound
of Curfe and Raillery. I am plunged into
Hell, dafht out of the Lift of Rationals, and
then with a Taunt ask't how I do. Why ?
a Man in Fire and Brimftone is not altoge-
ther at his Eafc, and a reafonable Creature
curft into a Dog not very fond of the Meta-
morphofis.
A third very gentilely accofts a Friend
he has not perchance feen of a twelve-
month, Te Son of a Whore where have yoi^
been f This is an EngHfl) Addrefs to a Title :
Its a kind of Staple Commodity of the Na-
tion, and like our Wool muft notbctranf-
ported
20 A Gentleman infiru^ed^ &c.
ported under Pain of Confifcation : But
furely we need not lay fo fevere an Embargo
on the Ware, for its ten to one 'twill never
find Vent in any other Nation on this fide of
the Canaries ; a handful of Dirt well applied
is as civil a Compliment, though not quite
fo cleanly. Son of a Whore ! There is abun-
dance of Freedom in the Expreflion, but not
a grain of Breeding : Unlefs you meafure
Behaviour by the Dialeft of Billwgfgate and
the Bear-Garden. Certainly thefe Gentle-
men are no Admirers of Charity -^ why elfe
do they dignifie Whoredom ? For Whore
ftands for a Mark of Quality, a diftinguifli-
ing Charafter^ otherwife the Salutation
would appear courfe and homely ^ but by
their Leave, few are in Love with Crofs^
hars i and to be Brother to a By-blow, is to
fee a Baftard once removed.
I know we fling a Veil on thefe Expref-
fipns, and walh over their Foulnefs with
fair Pretences. Damn ye (fays one^ and
Son of Whore Hand merely for Cyphers^ or on-
ly ferve to enliven a Period, and to make
the ExprefTion more bluftering ^ I confefs
Whore and Damnation are near of kin, and
often go together ^ But for all that^^the Silli-
nefs of the Excufe can t ftifle the monltrous
Inciviltyof the Compliment-, for though
it fignifies, nothing to him who receives it,
ia
A Gerttleman injlrn&ed^ Sec, 2 1
in good time it will fignifie much to him that
fpoke it : For the' a Frieud may let fuch
Curfes fall to the Ground, God will put 'em
to Account •, and though they ftand for Cy-
floers in England^ they may purchafe eternal
Torments in Hell.
They are, fays another, Marks of Engl^
Familiarity, pure Sallies of Kindnefs and
Demonftrations of Friendfbip. No doubt,
to deliver over to Satan, an old Acquain-
tance, without asking his Confent to the
Conveyance, is Freedom with a Vengeance \
but at which End of the Compliment is his
kindnefs ? In fhort, Neander^ fuch expref-
*lions grate the Organ, and turn the very
Faculty of Hearing into aBur then ; they arc
high Symptoms of a a lewd Inclination and
of a depraved Completion •, for when the
Breath fmells rank, the Stomach is infefted.
In (hort, fuch 2i Jargon is a Breach of Civi-
lity, its a a Ruftick Cam^ an uncreditablc
Dialed •, nor is the whole Pojfe of Bullies a-
ble to ennoble it.
V.
When Civility obliges you to vifit La-
dies, pray keep your Compliments to the
Rules of Chriftianity •, there is no Necef-
fity of laying Religion at the Door with
your
2 2 A Gentleman injlrHtied^ Scc.
your Golojlooes^ nor of denying God when
you entertain her Ladylhip : For certainly
Breeding is not incompatible with Religion,
and a Man may make an Addrefs aUmode
without apoftatizing from Chriflianity : Yet
though the Worfhip of the Virgin Mary^ be
difallov/ed of, we may adore Ladies with-
out the Breach of a Statute, and commit I-
dolatry not only without Reproof, but e-
ven without Sin : One fwears, Heaven fits
in his Smiles^ and Hell in his Frowns, A fe-
cond ftiles her Saint •,. tho' perchance her La-
dyfhip is more flockt with Beauty than Pie-
ty, and her Face better provided with Grace,
than her Soul : A third enlarges her Perfe-^
dtions ; he ranks her among the Angels ^
and to compleat the Folly with Blafphemy, a
fourth deifies her: Thefe Pagan Compli-
ments are the Standard of Courtfhip, the
Scale of Ceremony^ and theMeafureofgood
Breeding. But after all, Praftice can never
blanch over the Foulnefs of thefe daring Ex-
prefllons •, every Syllable breaths Frenzy
and Blafphemy •, nor is there any way to ac-
quit thefe raving Platonicks of a Crime, but
by fuppofing 'em unreafonable. A few Pim-
ples handfomely fprinkled would very effi-
cacioufly diflodge t\\^ Angel^ as perchance
her Lewdnefs has banifli'd the Saint •, and a
few fni.ill Pox would chequer her Divinity,
and
A Gentleman inJiruSfed^ &C. 25
aad tumble the Goddefs into a Monfter \ and
then Hell might as well perch on her Smiles,
as on her Frowns. But Rallery apart, tho'
we fling Impiety out of the Quellion, fuch
Addreffesare plain Satyr, and invedive on
the Sex : For they fuppofe Women either
extravagantly proud or fuperlatively filly ;
DOW the very Suppofition is both ungentile
and fcandalous. 1 am fenfible indeed the Sex
is no Enemy to Hyperbole in Courtfhip ^ Wo-
men are more fond of thefe GlalTes that con-
ceal Difproportions, than of thofe that re-
prefent 'em \ they can't well diftinguifh be-
tween Flattery and Merit, and as they ea-
gerly defire thefe Perfeftions that are proper
to their Sex, fo they eafily are perfwaded
they poflefs 'em \ for we foon believe, what
we earneftly defire : So hence it is, that they
take a pleafmg Rallery for a ferious Truth,
and even fometimes a Lamfoon for a Panegy-
rick i but then an ungrateful Truth puts 'em
into a Ferment •, it rufles their good Hu-
mour, and fours their Blood. Something
therefore may be allowed to Cuftom and
their Conftitution •, flatter their Ladyjlnps
into an even Temper, rather than reafon
'em out of it, provided you keep within a
mean,and Itep not beyond the Bounds of De-
cency •, but to break into Flights of Impiety,
into Raptures of Blafphemy, is to play the
Fool and the Atheift. VI.
24 A Gentleman injiru&ed^ &c.
VI.
Gentlemen have fo much time on their
Hands that they know not how to fpend it j
its a Burthen and a Charge, and fo like Pro-
digals they rather fling it away than take
Pains to improve it. I counfel you therefore
to fet afide fome Hours for Reading ^ its a
handfome Diverfion, and conveys Profit
through Pleafure ^ the Intelledi is a grateful
Soil i but then like a Field it requires ma-
nuring. By Reading you join paft Ages to
the prefent, you Travel into ^Jia^ jifrka
zn&Jmerka without expence, without dan-
ger, nay without walking out of your Clo-
fet. Senfual Pieafures rather ftupifie than
delight, they play upon the Organ, and dull
the Appetite, they are often brutal, and fel-
dom innocent ^ but thofe of the Undcrftand-
ingfhine brighter, they are of a more refined
Metal, free from Drofs and void of Repen-
tance \ they extend the Faculty, and render
it more rational •, they rather whet Defire
than glut it, and fcrew up Man's topping
Prerogative, P.eafon^ up to the higheft Pitch.
A Gentleman furnifh'd with Reading, can
never be at a Lofs to fet on foot, and carry
on a handfome Converfation •, he is always
well ftockt, and carries his Provifions about
him i whereas others are forc'd to fetch Mat-
ter
A Gentte^utn i^jimCfed^ ScO. 2 5
ter from the Kennel or the Stable, and too
too often from the Stews^ their Difconrle h
a Compound of Smut and Rallery, enlivened
always with Fooleries, and fometimes fea^
foned with Oaths and Blafphemies : Non-
fenfe, in fine, though not the moft credita-
ble, is the moll innocent and lefs blamable
Ingredient. Good God ! how often have I
loft Patience, and fretted away good Hu-
mour in the Company of Gentlemen of fair
Eftates, and of noble Extraction •, methought
they had ferv'd an Apprentice/hip under
Grooms or Dog-boys •, they eternally gra-
ted my Ears with Hounds and Horfes, and
broke out into fuch clamorous Tumults, as
if they had been drawing up the Grievances
of the Nation, or pelting the Prerogative ^
yet after ail, the Queftion was only, whe-
ther Pafs or Lrfht'foot got the better iafl
Chace. Racing and Hunting are indeed lau-
dable Recreations ^ and upon Occalions may
be difcourll of;, but then, to harp perpe-
tually upon thefc Creatures, is an intallible
Argument their Thoughts are mean, and too
vtreak wingM to foar above the Bcaft. Some
Years ago 1 took a Turn beyond the Seas, and
made a confiderable Stay in thofe Parts : Ac
my Return, I gave a Viiit to an old Acquain-
tance ^ a Man of Charader, of Eftate, of
an ancient Family, and Deputy Lienttnam of
C a County;
76 A Gentleman wjlritdfed^ &c.
County i he was at Tables a Hawking^Bag
hung on the left fide, and a Bumpkin guarded
the right ^ his Hat, Coat and Wigg were all
of a piece, more fit for a Scare^Crow than a
Dcftity •, his Memory was as fhort as his Wigg ;
for foine Years Abfence had wiped out our
Acquaintance •, he knew me not, and in-
deed, I was no lefs puzzled to find my friend
under fo ilovenly a Difguife : However, at
length we renewed our old Species, and
then he very warmly embraced me with this
Salutation ^ E^ifehii^y by God I am gUd to fee
thee: I expeded he would follow this quaint
Compliment with an Enquiry intomyHealth,
or fatisfied his Curiofity with a Rehearfal of
my Travels ^ that he would ask in what Po-
Iture I left our Allies 5 whether they made
Preparations for the Siege of Namur^ or
MonfuHT for that of Maeftricht *, whether
Prince Eugene entered Cremona with greater
Glory, or left it with greater Infamy •, whe-
ther I'nbtfgen did better to receive a Stab
from A'hihoriy^ than quarter ^ or whether this
l)rave Baron died like a Fool or a Hero : In
fine, what Advantage the Imperiaiills got by
the Vidory at Luz^z^ara:^ or whether the Pro-
fit would ballance the Expence of Powder
and Shot, laid out in the Emvire on the
Thank%iving-D3y.
No,
A Gentleptitn injirn^ed^ &C. 27
No, the Gentleman's Curiofity never tra-
velled fo far i he had confined his Know-
ledge within the Bounds of his own Coun-
try ; all the reft of the World was Terra in^
co£mta to hhJVoyO:fip: He fell immediately
upon the Excellency of Tobacco ; and then
hailed me to the Stable, that I may pay my
Refpedl to Bobtail \ and in the way honoured
me with an accurate Account of his Poultry.
Oh! faid I to my felf, had this Liemcnmt
hunted lefs, and read more \ had he cultiva-
ted his llnderftanding, and let a Field or
two lie//t//.9Tr, he might have been Company
for Men : But alas he was the Darling of the
Family \ he heftored it at Home, whilft he
fliould have been at School and Abroad ^
was made a Man at Fifteen, to be a Child
and Coxcomb at Threefcore.
I would not have you upon all Occafions
difcourfe in Sylloglfm, nor deliver your
Thoughts in Mood and Figure : Such Philo-
fophical Cant futes better with a Pedant, than
a Gentleman j and may pafs in the School,
but not in the Parlonr. Neither prcfs upon
Company a racimm^ nor Mr. Boyleh Pondm
t^tmofph^ra ; a civil Converfation may be
managed handfomely in either Mypothc/tf^
and I conceive Difcourfe profper'd no lefs in
the Days of good old Materia Prima^ than
in the Reign of desCanesh Third Element.
C 2 You
28 A Gentleman injlr^/^ed^ &c.
Yon may alfo let the Grand Afo^ul fit
qnietly at ^gra^ and Prcfier Johj in Ethiopia •
few Gentlemens Knowledge Travels fo far
from Home. France^ Sfain and Italy lie
more conveniently ^ befides Claret^ MaUgo^
and Flasks of Florence have given us fonie No-
tions of thofe Kingdoms.
Time your Subjed-, Good things fpoke
out of Seafon, lofe their Value. 1 would
not harangue a Lady in Greeh^ nor a Coun-
try Vicar in Hebrexv : For alas, her Learn-
ing goes not beyond French^ nor his above
Latin: Difcourfe mud be adapted to the
Company ; and it takes more when it natu-
rally ilides in, than when drawn in by Head
and Shoulders. In a Word, Niander^ en-
rich yovir Underftanding by the Knowledge
of things that become your Qiiality , and
when you are doubly equip% ( I mean with
a fair Eflate, and a good Fund of Learning j
what czvi yon deOre more, but an ordinary
Stock of Prudence tu lay them out at Ad-
vantage ?
VfL
Converfe not ordinarily with Perfons
above your Rank, nor with thofe that are
below it;, that will endanger your Eftate,
this your Breeding. A Man of looo Pound
per jiinum^ can't long keep Pace with one of
Tenthoufand , he'll infallibly lag, and jade
by
A Gentleman hiflrHCied^ &C. 29
hy the way :j and perchance be forc't to take
in at the next jayl: Or, if in time he re-
folve to foreftal his Ruin, he muft fall out
the Riot of a (hort Car/javal with a long
Lent ; he muft ftint hinifelf to a fhort Pit-
tance, and lop olT a Branch to fecure the
Stock : For Eftate- Wounds feder into a
Gangrene, and nothing but the Saw or Seer-
ing-Iron can flop the Infection.
But on the other fide, to herd with Pea-
fan ts is a kind of voluntary Degradation ^
its to break your Efcutcheof?^ and to com-
mence Yeoman. Peafantry is a Difeafe (like
the Plague ) eafily caught by Convcrfation \
its a Colour that takes on any Subjeft, and
ieldom wears off: Why then fliall a Ferfoa
of Honour forfeit his Patent without Trea-
fon? Clowns are a fort of encroaching
Animals : give an Inch, they'll take an Eli,
and repay your Familiarity with Contempt
and Outrage : If you intend to oblige 'em
to a Diftance, ftoop not below your Station,
nor fet 'em on equal Ground •, if once you
make 'em Companions, they'll ufurp the Au-
thority of Mafters •, for they want Prudence
to manage a Familiarity, but not Impudence
to abufe it : But take Care not to Brow- beat
Vm, nor pretend to keep 'em under too fe-
vere Difcipline; for the moll defpicable and
cowardly Creatures, if forc't, will turn and
fiy in your Face. G j VIIL
S^ A Gentleman hjiru&ed^ Sec.
VIII.
Some Gentlemen are fo punftilious and
nice, that they look on Biifinefs as a thing
below their Level: No, they'll not look on
their Accounts, though their Efl-ate lies in
an Agony •, as it there were no Difference
between Prucknce and Trading. But certain-
ly Wifdom jars not with Quality^ and I
hope, one may be a good Husband without
turning Clown : Its no Branch of a Gentle-
man's Prerogative to be bubled out of Houfe
and Home. When Expences run high,
is It not fit at leall to provide againft Fraud
arid Circumvention ? Prodigality on the one
f^dt. and Fraud on the other will foon drain
iin Eftate to the Lees. Do not therefore all
by Deputy : To trufl a Steward too much,
is to expofe his Vertue. Honefty is not al-
ways Proof againft Temptation , Men often
cheat without Scruple, when they can doit
without Fear. Remember, that Nobility
ilript of Means-, makes no gentile Figure*,
it can't ftand without golden Supporters:
Model therefore your Expences by your In-
come, and refleft you poffefs Lands , not
Mines •, two thoufand expended and one re-
ceived will not ballance Accounts at the
Year's End : If you are wile live on the Crop,
mt oa the Land y coavey not a Lordfhip to
London
A Gentleman inflrn&ed^ &C. 3 ^
London in a Bill of Exchange, nor QTiXX'j Acres
in your Pocket *, they thrive well in Coun-
try Air, but fall into Confumptions and He-
ft icks at White- Hd\ and Croomforters^ and
foon expire -, and then you muft run upoa
the Common^ or live on Charity or Courtefy ;
or Chamelion like, on the Air, unlefs you
had rather turn Knight Errant on the
King's high Way , or take up your
Qiiartcrs at Tyhnrn, Believe me , Ne-
^nder^ Poverty is unfalhionable in our Days,
and Dependance uneafy •, take Care there-
fore of the main Chance, lay by a Refervc
for Age and Accidents: A new Lordfinp
does not ( like a Vkocnix') jump out of the
Afnes of the old : No, when it is gone,
Hope follows it •, nothing remains but
Beggary, Contempt, Defpair, and Repen-
tance.
Be neither Covetous nor Prcfi/fe •, Extreams
are vicious ^ that feems lefs gentile, and this
more foolifli. I hate to fee a Gentleman
(like a Snail) draw in his Figure to fave his
Parfe, and not only want the Conveniences,
but even the Neceflaries of Life in the Face
of Abundance : This is almofi: to antedate
Mifery, and to turn the Fable of Tamdnsin^
to a real Story. I would no more truft fuch
a Mifer^ than a Foot- P<^id or a Cut-Pur fe ^ he
who Iqvcs Money more than himfelf, will
0^4, infallibly
5 2 A Gentle wan i^;Jinf3ed^ Sec.
infallibly rate it above Honcfly, and "he ^11
ftretch a Point, and Dnloofe Confcience
when Opportunity opens any ProfpeO: of
GaLa : For to a Mi/i.r Knavery and Couze-
rage are nnqueftionable Ax/oms^ and onght
to be fuppofed as a PoftMLn^rn : In a Word,
its a bafe Employment to lie on Earth, and to
itand Sentinel to Intercfl: •, 1 would neither
fawn on Money for Money's Sake ^ nor duck
and drake It 2LV^-c^y for a Frolick : No^ I wonld
not part with my Liberty for a Spanipi Plot a ^
nor with a Shilling for a good Morrow ; that
would be to overvalue Slavery -, and this to
imder-rate Silver.
1 et your Equipage run even with your
Purfe and Quality. Starve not your felf to
feed Lacqueys ; iior give 'em a Coach (as N.
N.i^xd) to fave their Liveries. Handfome
Regales fometimes, buoy up Credit, cberifh
Friendfhip, nourifli Mirth, and breath Life
and Spirit into Converfation ^ though they
fmk your Purfe, they do not drain it; at
ieaft you'll receive Credit for your Mo-
ney.
IX.
A continual Application to Bufinefs works
upon the Brain, it exhauftsthe Spirits, and
undermines Health : Nature muft not be run
dovv;jj allow k tiBic to. breath \ if you are
always
A Gentleman wjlru&ed^ &c. 55:,
always on the Spur, you'll jade it. Exchange
therefore fometimes your ferious Employ-
ments for honeft and gentile Recreations y
they refrefh the Mind, unburthen Nature,
enliven the Faculties, and pour new Life
and Vigour into the Body : Chufe thofe that
are more diverting and lefs expenfive 5 a
Pleafure overpurchafed is a real Torment,
and then if they require Study and Applica-
tion, you do not fo much eafe Nature as
change the Burthen. I would not have yru
venture upon Games of Hazard, unlefs Ci-
vility oblige you, and even then Itake no
more, than you dare lofe without PalTion i
Thofe Plays, like Quick Sands, fwallow E-
flates at a fitting ^ they devour a Man's Pa-
tience, and caft Nature into a Ferments
Good God ! How uneafy have I feen Game-
fters ? Methought they fat on Thorns^ or
Tentersj you might fee Paflionin their Gc-
ftures, and read Defpair on their Faces ^
they broke through all the Barriers of Mo-
deft y andDeconim^and diced away theirMonjr
firft, and then flung Patience after it. Had
Force ftretcht thefe Gamefters on thatRack^
I fhould have pitied their Misfortune •, but
when I refleded they were their own Execu-
tioners; let'erafuRer (faid I) nothing but
Stripes can teach Fools Wifdom, norreftoro:
mad Men to their Wits.
54 A.) a Club of DefperaJoes without Religion,
without Confcience, a Vdckof Kerie^ado ChrU
(liam who are a Scandal to their Profeffion,
and a Shame to their Nature ; vote Murder
42 A Gentleman injiru&ed^ Sec.
a brave ASion^ and you obtrude this A-
theiftical Error for the univerfal Opinion of
Mankind, for the Standard of Honour and
Bravery. Why ? Such Men's Judgments are
as falfe as their Principles, and their Opini-
ons as depraved as their Manners ^ becaufe
Rafcals extol Per jury •, Highway-men, Rob-
bery •, and Debauchees, Lewdnefs, are thefc
creditable and innocent Vocations? Becaufe
Perjury, Robbery, and Licentioufnefs are
common, are they lawful ?
Befides, can any thing be more extrava-
gantly fooliih, than the Punctilios of a Duel-
lift ? One has given me the Lie ; to wipe off
the Affront, I muft provoke him to tilt at
my Lungs. Ay, but Right ftands for you!
bnt what if Fortune ftand for your Anta-
gonift ? Right is a dull Weapon , unlefs
Skill and good Luck manage it, the clande-
ftine Revenges of the Italiar?s are cruel and
diabolical, but at leaft they are lefs foolifii
than ours 5 they will not bath their v/ounded
Honour in their own Blood, but in that of
their Enemy ; and therefore they attack un-
awares or by Proxy ^ but we revenge at our
own Expeuce, nay and upon our felves, and
fometimes at aDifadvantagetoo ^ as if to re-
trieve our Honour we mull die like Fools.
I know not what Charms others may fee in
a Stab, 1 had rather be fentinto the other
World
A Ge^itleman infiru^ed^ &c. 45
World by the Hangman than a Duellift i a
Duel is an ill Diftemper to die of, though
poflibly Atheifts may think it a gentile one ;
and I am confident thefe Martyrs of Honour
will be difcompofed when they find their-
Reception in the next Life falls fhort of their
Expeftation.
Death, Nea7ider^ is a great Leveller. Ti-
tles, Quality, Wealth with all their Appur-
tenances leave us with the lafl: Breath :
A Clown will meet with Refpedt if he be
innocent, and a Prince with Contempt if
guilty^ our Treatment will anfwer our
Adions, not our Birth •, a Scavenger that
dies in Peace with God fhall be conveyed in-
to Glory i and a Lo-rd that expires inSin in-
to Torments.
XIL
Some Gentlemen refine Breeding too
much i they aff'eft a Singularity in Behavi-
our as well as in Religion, and fo make
themftlves ridiculous to appear gentile •,
thefe are a Httorogemous Race of Gentlemen
fome call Fops, and others Beaus*, they are
a Compound of Farce and Ceremony,
a Mixture of Mlmkk and Tragedian'^ had
their Mothers made a Voyage to the Indies ^
1 (hould fufpedt they had feme Relation to an
44 -^ Gentleman infiruSed^ Sec.
j^pe: For certainly they are of a mixt
Species, and often the Beaft predominates ^
but always the Coxcomb; if the Bean has
more Wit, the Ape has more Judgment •,
thefe Gentlemen fpeak like Puppets, and
walk by Clock Work:^ they pafs the Morn-
ing between the Glafs and the Toylct^ and
fummoii to their Leve the whole Pofe ofTay-
lors^ Barbers^ and Senifftreffes -^ they value
more the Art of dr effing well, than the knack
of paying : And whilft others admire their
Folly, like young Narcijfns^ they contemplate
their own Beauty : Pray leave thefe People
and their Behaviour to themfelves, and if
you can t avoid their Company, catch not
their Grimaces: Its true you muft prepare
for an Attack ^ for like People ftruck with
thePlague, they love to give the Infeftion ; if
they find you refty, they '!! not fail to diredt
your Motions and anatomize your Com-
portment, aad then you mult expeft to be
lampooned in Verfe, or pelted in Profe; but
they always meet with poor Caffandras For-
tune,, never to be believed *, Their yeas go
for ?7\f, and their Satyrs for Panegy ricks ;
I might enlarge upon this Subjed, but I
fear, I have already trefpafs't upon your Pa-
tieace.
A Gefttleman injlm^ed^ &C. ac
Neav. I fee, Dear Ekfehius^ you are a
Stranger to my Conftitution, I am not fo
foon talked down \ how can I fpend my time
better, than in learning how to fpend it
well ?
After a (hort Difcourfe of indifferent
things, Neander took Leave oi EnfehiHs with
a Promife to return the next Morning \
he kept his Word, and Eiifebins fpoke
thus.
DIALOGUE IIL
Eufebius irtflru&s Neander /// the Duty
of a Chriflian.
Ehfcb. TT's harder (dear JSfeander^ to de-
1. fcribethcPartof aChriftian^than
that of a Gentleman, and a matter of high-
er Importance to aft it well •, if a Gentle-
man falls below his Charafter, his Reputa-
tion may fuffer, but not his Soul : He may
not ftand fair in Men's Opinion, but this is
a trivial Misfortune ^ for pray what great
Advantage is it to be eflecm'd by thofe who
cannot be fufficiently blam'd ? Alas ! their
cfteem is fo inlignificant, that its neither a-
ble to credit nor difgrace.
But
46 A Gentleman infl rii&cd, &c.
But oh ! if oiirLife fwerves from theLaws
of Chriftianity, and if Death takes us away in
this Diforder, we are undone for ever, eter-
nally lofl: ! without hope ofChange,orof re-
trciving our Misfortune: Upon thisPoint our
all depends ^ if we ad a Chriftian well, we
fball be received into the Joys of the Jull i
but if ill, into the Puniihments of the Im-
pious : And both thefe States are evcrlaft-
ing, both immenfe, that in Pleafure, this in
Pains.
Now when the Gain on the one fide is fo
vaft, and the Lofs on the other fo exorbi-
tant, does not Reafon tell us that we ought
to bend all our Care, all our Applicati-
on to difcharge our felves of the Duties of
a Chriftian ? I will therefore draw up a Ihort
Scheme of the moft preffing Offices of your
Profeffion, and fnrnilh you with Motives
able to perfwade you to comply with
'em.
I.
The chief Reafon why Menlive atRandom
is,becaufe they have forgot theirErrant;, they
fancy themfelves to be the Work of Chance,
the Offspring of Hazard, Creatures of Plea-
fure placed on the Land (as the LevUthan is
ia the Water) to fport and play •, but cer-
tainly
A Gentleman inflrn^ed^ 8cc. 47
tainly we muft: have fmall Acquaintance with
the Dignity of our Nature, and a mean O-
pinion of our Greatnefs to frame fuch wild
Ideas. Our Underftanding is too noble to
be buried in Dung and Rubbifh ^ and our
Soul too fpiritual to be condemned by
Nature to the bafe Employments of
Brutes.
No, no, Neander : God's Omnipotence
framed us, and his Goodnefs defigned us for
himfelf alone. He has ennobled us withRea-
fon to know his Greatnefs, with a Will to
love his Goodnefs, and with a Soul to enjoy
his Perfedtion. He is our j4lfha and our O-
mega^ the Origin of our Being, and the End
of our Creation. It's impolTible for us to
be raiferable with him, or happy without
him.
IL
But, though we are made to enjoy God in
Heaven, it's uncertain, whether we (hall ever
land at this thrice happy Haven of the BlefTed,
for God has decreed to communicate this fu-
pream Felicity as a Reward, not as a Gift :
We muft take this City by Storm, not by
Capitulation : We mult enter Lefee a la
malrj •, Cr vioUnti rapiuht ilUd. But if the
Difficulty cramps our Courage, if it bauks
our Refolution, if we mifcarry in the Eater-
prize,
48 A Gefithman itfjirui$ed^ %^c.
prize, or fail in the Ex'ecution^ v/e are
undone for ever ^ we mull take up our Ha-
bitation in Hell, and dwell perpetually with
Fire and Brimftone. This we believe {Sc-
ander) and the bare Thought of it fometimes
congeals the very Blood m our Veins, and
ftrikes us with Horror and Amazement.
One Theft, one Murder, one Fornication
unrepented, cafts us into a Lake of Fire, in-
to a Vale of Torments, into a fad Manfion
of Defpair, where we fhall always burn, and
never be confumed^ always die, and ever
live the Objeft of God's Wrath, and the
perpetual Monument of our Folly and Difo-
bedience. Thefe two Points are, as it were,
Poftulatums in Morality, and God has been
pleafed to reveal 'em in almoft every Chap-
ter and Page of the New Teftament, that he
might allure us to our Duty by the charming
Profpeft of Heaven, or fcare us to it by tbe
difmal Reprefentation of Hell.
III.
We can't tax God of Severity, nor com-
plain of his Unkind nefs ^ for though on the
one Hand he drawls up in Battalia all the Ter-
rors of an unhappy Eternity to fright us •, on
the other he difplays all the Treafures of
Heaven to whet our Hope, and animate our
Courage ^ nor does he lay our Salvation in
the
A Qentteman wjirnffed, Sec. 49
the Hands of Chance, or tiufc it to the
Care of our Enemies. Yet he hasentiufted e-
very Man with his own Welfare ^ fo that
we cannot be miferable, unlefs we confpire
againfl: our felves, and turn Traitors to our
own Intereft. If therefore we inifcarry,
muft not the Fault lie at our own Door ? if
w^e will be fo ftupid, as to fling up our Claim
to Heaven ; fo void of Reafon, as to leap in-
to Hell i Do we not deferve to forfeit the
one, and feel the other ? A Man, who in
fpight of Prayers and Tears will vault down
a Precipice, deferves to meafure the Height
of it by the Fall •, and if he breaks his Neck,
who will not rather laugh at his Misfortune
than pity it ?
IV,
Had God tied up our Happinefs to harder
Conditions, he had not over-rated it. For
all we can either do or fufter in time, bears
no Proportion with an Eternal Reward ^
though he be our Mailer, he has behaved
himfelf to us with all the Tendernefs of an
indulgent Father, For he has drawn up Ar*-
tides fo advantageous for us, that we muft
be mad tocomplain,either of Circumvention
or hard Dealing : He requires nothing but
Love and Obedience. Now, who can in
Reafon refufe to love an Infinite Beauty ? or
D to
50 A Gentleman wjirii&ed^ 8cc.
to obey an OmnipotentPower? We pay liim
Love and Obedience by keeping his Com-
mandments, which are only hard to thofe
that refolve to tranfgrefs'em. Et mandata
ejus gravia mn fnnt. Nay, they are fo agree-
able to Reafon, that we muft crofs upon our
Nature, before we can violate 'em, and al-
inoft ceafe to be Men, wheii we begin to be
Sinners ; in a Word, to be happy in the
next World, we muft be virtuous in this.
Virtue is your Duty, Neandcr\ and if you
praftice itferioufly, 'twill prove your Plea-
fure. For God has fo interwoven our Du-
ty with our Satisfadion, that it's impofliblc
for a Man to be innocently unhappy.
V.
Tho' Virtue be an Excellent Thing, it
may be abufed. It lies within the Reach of
Fancy, Illufion, and Mifapplication \ there
is falf^ Virtue as well as an adulterate Coin:
And as the Lacedemoinans trickt up their
Gods in the Spartan Drefs ^ fo oftentimes
Men model Virtue by their own Paffions. I
have feen a morofeZealot eternally harangue
againft the Corruption of the Age ^ all was
wrong, all vicious that crofs'd his fower
Humour. One would have thought God
had conftituted him InffeBor ^General oi Mzn-
kind J he kickt and flung after fo unchriftian
a rate, 'twas dangerous to come vvithiq his
Reach. Now, though Scripture and Rcafoa
call this S/7, he miftook it (good Man; for
Virtue. His Error was Proof againrt: Homi-
ly and Exhortation. You rai^ht have Too-
ner perfuaded him outof hisChrillianName,
than out of his peevifli Humour.
As I efteem nothing more than true and
genuine Virtue, fo I abhor a Hypocrite. I
hate thofe Mountebanks of the Spirit, who
turn Piety into a Trade , who pray them-
felves into Livings, and whine themfelves
into Reputation ^ who pradife Humility out
of Pride, and Charity out of Spight -^ vd\o
preach up the molt fevereMorals in publick,
^nd condemn 'em in private *, whofe Zeal is
Cenfure, whofe Juftice is Interefl", aiid Piety
a Cover to Vanity. 1 have heard thefe Tar-
tars lafli the World to Excefs, whilfl: they
courted it to Extravagance : They extolled
Solitude, yet were always in Company, and
praifed Virtue, when they praftifed Vice-
In one Word, this Race of Men is a Medly
of Oppofies, humble without, and proud
within i arrogant to Excefs, and on Occafi-
ens fubmiflive beyond Meafurc ^ all Firc^and
all Smoak \ Saints in Appearance, and Sin-
ners in EfFeft.
Others place Dagon and the yirh on the
fame Alter, Like Jehn they blend Good with
D 2 Evil,
52 A Gentleman injirn^ed^ Sec.
Evil, Adore God in the Temple, and Golden
Calves in Dan and Bethel : Somtimes they
are all Spirit^ fometimes all Body: Now, they
regale their Senfes with a thoufand Regous's
of the molt refined Lewdnefs: By and by
they feaft their Souls with the moft high-
feafoned Piety : One Day they furfeit with
Falling, another with Feafling : Yefterday
they were tired with Kneeling, to Day with
Dancing : They feldom mifs a Semon, ne-
ver a Play : If you fee a Prayer-Book in
their Hand, you may fwear there is a Lam^
foo7i in their Pocket : And if the Bible lies on
their Desk, a Romance ftands on the Shelf ;
lo that they are half a Saint, and half Devil,
but all Monlter. I knew a He-Dcvotce, who
wou'd fpeak fo feelingly of the Excellency of
Chaftity, one would have taken him for a
Baftift ^ yet at the fame time he enterain'd
a Aiifs in a Corner •, and though on Sunday
he appeared in the Church with Refpefl be-
fore the Lord^ all the Week he paid Homage
to tlie Lady : This is not Virtue, but an Oleo
of Vices : This is to worlhip God as the Sol-
diers did our Saviour, wath Outrage and
Blafphemy. You may eafily infer, that the
Duty of a Chriftian obliges you to deteft and
abhor fuch a Condnft, but not to imitate it;
one Defeft tarnilhes Virtue. Bonum ex tntc-
*rra caufa^ malum ex quolihet defeihu
That
A Gentleman tnflrulled^ &C. 53
That Man is truly Vcrtuous, who is nei^
ther proud in good Fortune, nor abject in
bad *, who defires nothing but Heaven, and
fears nothing but Hell *, who avenges Affronts
with Favours, and Injuries with Pardon ^
who is fevere to himfelf, and eafie to his
Neighbour \ who fpeaks well of all but him-
felf ^ and never pardons his own Defefts,
nor cenfures thofe of his Brethren. In a
Word, Neander^ Do good^ and fly from Evil ^
is the Sum of your Duty. This is Virtue in
Short' Ha'fid^ Pevfeftion in Epitome^ and Hea-
ven in Reverjion.
VI.
That Part of your Duty is of the greateft
Importance, that immediately belongs to
God; he is our ^IMaker and our Sovereign,
we are endebted to his Power for our Beings
to his Goodnefs for our Confervation \ fi oai
him we expert the Reward of our Virtues,
and the Punifhments of our Vices. Retura
him therefore a thoufand Thanks for the Fa-
vours you have received from the firft Mo-
ment of your Creation ; you can't begin the
Acknowledgment too foon, you can't re-
peat it too often, becaufe you can never
thank him enough ^ refpeft him as your Fa-
ther, ferve him as your Mailer, and fear
him as your Judge \ neither forget his Kind-
nefs in Profperity, nor blafpheme his Con-
D } dud
54 ^ Gentleman injiru&ed^ &c.
diift ia Adveruty : Ke is no lefs amiable
when, he frowns, than when he fmiies •, when
he wounds, than when he heals. And there-
fore kifs the facred Hand thatftrikes, as well
as that which ftroaks you: Fie always de-
signs your Good, unlefs by Murmurs and
Impatience you turn his Bleffings into Curfes^
•and then praife his Conduft, but condemn
your own.
Ah ! Neander^ a thoufand, thoufand times
happy is that Man, who flings up all his Con-
cerns into the Hands of Providence, and ties
up his Defires to the Laws of Obedience •, he
carries ia his Breaft a little Paradice, and a
Heaven in Profpeft ; he fits above the reach
of Fortune, and beholds with an Air of Un-
conccrnednefs under his Feet, all thefe
Storms and Tenlpeftsthat da(h in Pieces o-
ther Mens Felicity :;, he neither defires good
Succefs, nor fears Difappointment i^ he opens
his Door no lefs cheerfully to Want, than to
Abundance : In pne -^ he knows, that Com-
mand is God's Prerogative, and SubmifTion
his Duty. C^^n Imagination paint a more foi-
lid, a more fincere Satisfaction, than neither
to ianguiili under the Torments of Hope,
nor to fink luider the Billows of Defpair, than
to Hibitct our Appetite to Reafon, and this
to God, oar Omnipotent Maker and Mer-
ciful PvCdeemer ?
This
A Gcf^tleman in fir h^ eel ^ &c. 5 5
This Subminion raifes Man to the Height
of Virtue and Happinefs: For whofoever
bows his Neck to the fweet Yoak of Provi^
dence, neither amufes his Thoughts with vi*
iionary Hopes, nor extravagant Fears ^ he
lives on his own Fund, and keeps his Defires
within the Compafs of his Power \ he is con-
tent with the Portion God has affign'd him :
This he holds only in Fee, and is ready to
leave it at the firfb Command. He neither
affefts to be lefs, nor afpires to a higher Sta-
tion \ he would be jult as he is, becaufe God
has made him fo.
Neand. This State of Indifference is a fxne
thing in Theory and Speculation, but impof-
fible in Practice, and is rather to be wifnt,
than hoped for.
Enfeb, Pray remember, that defponding
Thoughts only ferve to pall the Spirits snd
to blafl: generous Refolutions. Things are
often impolTible, becaufe Cowardile makes
'em fo : Check Fancy, and youMl not en-
counter thofe Difficulties in the Praftice;
Pufillanimity and Non-Experience conjure
up to fright you. For God is no Epicurean
Deity, fo taken up with the Enjoyment of his
own Felicity, that he has no Leifure to ca(fc
a Thought on the Concerns of poor Mortals
below : No, no, Neander ^ his Providence
is as boundlefs as his Being •, he did not de-
D. 4 vcft
5^ j4 Gentleman inflrti&ed^ &c.
veft himfelf of the Government of the
Wor]d, when he had made it ; he can't ei-
ther forfeit his Title to the Adminiftration
of the Univerfe, or abdicate it. That Hand
which made all Things^ muft of Neceflity
continue 'em, otherwife they'd make afpee-
dy Exit^ and fink into their primitive No-
ching : He has afligned every Being its Station •,
even the Worm and the Pffmire, he fets 'em
theirTask, teaches 'em to work, and through
a thoufand Labyrinths leads all things to
their prefixt Ends. Now certainly, he that
created all fublunary Beings for Man, cannot
"be thought to withdraw his Care from him,
as if he vv^ere below his Love or Concern :
No, no :> he counts the Hairs of his Head,
and regifters his Steps in the Folio of his Om-
?nfcience.
Now God being Goodnefs it felf, he can't
v;ait upon us with an ill Defign. He Hands
over us as a Guardian, not as a Spy ^ as a
Friend, not as an Enemy •, he confiders our
Conflitution, and pries into all Circumftan-
ces, that he may time his Favours, and fo
enhance their Value, by adapting 'em to our
NecelTitics.
As his Goodnefs alTures us he means well,
fo his Wifdom gives us Security and Caution,
that he can't be deceived in the Choice of
ttiofe things he defigns for us -^ he can't give
us
A Gentleman inflru&ed^ &c. 57-
us a Stone for a Loaf, nor a Scorpion for a
Ei(h, nor Poifon for a Medicine : So that we
are fare on the one fide, that nothing befals
us unawares, but either by his Permifllon or
Command ^ and on the other, that he either
permits or commands it for our Good •, and
that it certainly will prove fo, unlefs we de-
feat his charitable Defigns, by Impatience
or Blafphemy, and by a ftrange felf-creai-
tive Powe turn his Bleflings into Curfes.
Now, what Misfortune can make Impreffiou
on a Mind fo ftrongly fenced ? It will Hand
the moft fiery Trial, without an Oh^ with--
out a Wry Face •, for it has both Faith and
Reafon to fupport it : And then he that will
weep, that has all the Reafon in the World
to laugh, mufl: be fond of Tears, and in.
Love with Torment.
It's true, this DoSrine is extind In Pra-
ftice : We fnarl at Providence, we difpute.
his Orders, andburlefque his Decrees^ we
fcream out at the lighteft Touch of his gen-
tle Hand, and turn our felves into all the
Poftures of Impatience ^ we neither receive
his Favours with Thanks, aor Gorreftion
with Patience.
But this irrational Gonduft argues much^
Peevifhncfs, and more Infidelity. For thefe
People mufl: either doubt of his Power, or
dare not trufl: his Goodnefs \ and then the/
deny both by Illation. - D5 K^V
5^ AQenlteman in^ruUed^ 6cc.
Ah ! Dear Neander^ commit your Con-
cerns to the Management of God •, ask no
temporal BlefTing, but with a fiat vcUmtas
tMa ; refufe no Affliftion ^ receive that with
Gratitude, this with Refignation , and if you
can't defire CrofTes, at leaft accept 'em, and
remember always, that thofe things often
prove more prejudicial we pray for, thaa
thofe we fear.
We are an America^ an undifcovered Re-
gion to our felves, our Defires fly not only
before Reafon, but Refledion ^ fo that we
are fo far from knowing what is good for
tis, that w^e know not what we would be at :
Our Fancy over-flioots Nature, and ( like a
Fool's Paradice) reprefents Objefts in bor-
rowed Colours and falle Shapes : Deluded
therefore by vain Glajfes and deceitfulOpf/c^^,
we dote by Hazard, and hate at Random :,
we embrace a deformed Le^h for a charming
Rachel:^ court Ha ppioefs, and efpoufe Mife-
ry. But God, who built our Fabrick, knows
our Gonftitution ^ he dives into our Tem-
per, and comprehends all thofe things we ei-
ther eagerly purfue, or paffionately fly from;
lie fees the Employment of thefe will convey
us to Eternal Felicity, and the PofTeflion of
thofe into Endlefs Torments. He therefore
gives Vv^hat we feared, and refufes what we
dcfircd. Now , is it not a Kindnefs ta
be
A Gentleman inflni&ed^ 8cc. 59
be thus rnercifally cruel ? Is it not a Favour
to bauk our Pretenfions ? and a real Misfor-
tune to be fortunate ?
VII.
We ean never withdraw our felves from
God's Immenfity : He reigns in Hell no lefs
than in Heaven •, he exercifes his Juflice a-
mong the Damned, and his Mercy among
the Bleficd •, he dwells in Woods, and walks
in Cities \ he retires with us^ into Soli-
tude, and accompanies in Converfation ;
he is in all Places, and fees all Things ; he
fathoms our Defires, he counts our Words,
he fcans our Adtions, and reads our
Thoughts.
Imprint this Truth with indelible Chara-
fters in your Memory, and recommend it
to your daily Confideration •, 'twill teach you
both Caution and Refpeft-, 'twill curb the
diforderly Sallies of Nature, and bind our
Faffion to its good Behaviour. You will not
have the Face to ffcep beyond the Bounds of
Duty, nor fcarce be tempted to trangrcfs
it. Nature, I confefs, is unruly, 'twill run
away with us, unlefs we keep a ftrong and
watchful Hand over it ^ but then the very
Thought that God ftands by, will blow over
thofe Fames of Faffion, that dim lleafon, and-
us into Ti anfgreffions.
Before
^O A Gentteman injiru&ed^ 8cc
Before a grave Man we dare not fall into
Indeceny ^ his very Prefence gives a Check
to Appetite, and flops Senfuality in its full
Career : So that Lewdnefs and Debauche-
ry are forc'd to retire, and to give Place to
Shame.
Who violates the Law in the Face of Au-
thority, that has both Will and Power to re-
venge the Contempt, gives an evident Proof,
that either Life is uneafie to him, or that he
is not compos mentis^ and by Confequence de-
ferves Bedlam rather than Tyburn. Yet hu-
man Juftice ads in a narrow Sphere •, it
reaches but to Life, and can't purfue the Cri-
minal beyond the Grave. If therefore the
Sight of a Man, and the Apprehenfion of
Death, have fuch a Tranfcendency over us,
as to cool the Fire of Paffion, to difcounte-
nance an unbefeeming Sally, and to repeal
any Aflault upon our Virtue •, certainly, a
ftrong Perfuafion, that God is prefent, that
he looks on us to crown our Virtues, and to
chaftife our Vices, can't be lefs efficacious -^
for he is Soveraign Difpofer of our Souls and
Bodies j he is able to tumble thefe into wo-
thw£^ and thofe into He/l ^ we may baffle hu-
man Juftice, either by Flight, Money, or
Favours, but we cannot fly out of God's Do-
minion •, his Anger can neither be appeafed
with Bribes, nor ibftened with Tears, nor
cverccme with Entreaties, Now^
A Gentleman inflrn&ed^ &c. 6i
Now, a Man who with the Eyes of Faith
continually beholds this dreadful Majefty ho-
vering about him, with the Reward of Vir-
tue in one Hand, and the Sword of Revenge
in the other, will take Care of his Behavi-
our, and not fell his Innocence for a Fleet
Pleafure in Hand, and Eternal Torments in
Remainder. Let me therefore once more
intreat you (by all that is Dear, by all that
is Sacred) to carry this Confideration along
with you in all our Bufinefs, in all your
Paflimes, its Company will neither betrou-
blefom nor expenfive, but I am fare it will
be advantageous.
VIII.
God's Infinite Greatnefs entitles him to
Homage, and our Dependance calls upon us
to pay it : We cannot acknowledge too foon
his Authority, becaufe we cannot relpeft
it too much : We are the Work of his Hands,
the Objeft of his Mercy, and (hall once be
Eternally that of his Love or of his Hatred \
of his Love, if we execute his Commands :j
but of his Hatred, if we tranfgrefs 'em. Ju-
ftice therefore and Gratitude i Hopeof Hea*
ven, and Fear of Hell, preach Virtue and
Obedience to his moft Holy Injunftions. Yet
alas! this Voice of Thunder is not able to
awake our young Gallants. (Like fo many
bewitched Sampfom) they llcep in the Bofom
of
6i A Gentlemafi infintlied^ Sec.
of fafcinating Pleafures, that lull 'em into
pkafing Trances, imaginary Delights, to
plunge 'em into real Torments. One would
think they either disbelieved a future State^
they are fo unconcerned for the frefent ^ or
that they had a Patent to do ill ^ or at leafl:
gn Aflurance of Pardon and Repentance.
Their Study is to learn Sins ^ their Employ-
ment to commit 'em, and grand Diverfion
to applaud their Impieties. Tell thefe de-
luded Creatures they walkover Precipices,
and fport on the Brink of Deftruftion :
That to live a Debauche, is to die a Repro-
bate. They anfwer your charitable Admo-
nition with a Joak, or a Frown, and very
coldly reply, That Youth w^as made for
jPleafure, and Old Age for Repentance.
Good God ! that Men ot Wit and Parts
Ihould fo wretchedly fool themfelves into
Ruin. Were our Souls no longer lived than
our Bodies, did they fink into nothing when
we ceafed to breath, that Atheiftical Rant,
Eje^ bibe^ gaude^ eras moYieynur^ would not
))e quite unreafonable. Conld we look into
the Future, and read Mr Deitiny \ could we
call up a Horofcope of our Death,vas Aftro-
logers do of our Life ^ were we fure that
f-ras mQTiermtr^ we might equip our felves to
Pay for a Journey to Hell ^ and make to
morrow as great Preparations for Heaven :
But
A Gentleman infirH&ed^ &C. 63
But alas ! we dwell in a Region, where Cer-
tainties are fo twilled with Uncertainties,
that though we know we mull die, yet we
are as ignorant of the Time, Place and Man-
ner, as the Child unborn, Perchance Di-
vine Juflice may arreft us in the very Heat
of our Lewdnefs ^ it may drag us from the
Stews to Judgment : The firft time we clofc
our Eye-lids may be the laft : We may only
deep in this World to wake in the next j we
may only open our Eyes to fee flrange
Flames, and return to our Senfes to feel 'em.
Sudden Deaths are not miraculous : The
Bills of Mortality aflure us they are too ordi-
nary : But thefe Accidents furprize your
Debatichees oftner, than thofe who live
within the Bounds of Temperance and Mo-
deration. They over-charge Nature with
continual Excefs, and fet all the Humour of
the Body in an Uproar : And how eafie is it
for thefe Humours in fuch a Hurry and Tu-
mult, to crowd in upon the Heart? or to
fly up to the Brain ? or to impede the play-
ing of the Lungs, and on a fudden flop Re-
fpiration ?
But though God fhould deal more merci-
fully with thefe Men than they deferve, tho'
he Jhould give 'em both Time and Leifure
to repent, it's ten to one they'll die in their
Sins, and carry into the next World thofe
Crimes they committed ia this. For
6^ A Gentleman infirn^edy &c.
For two things are neceffary for a tho-
rough Repentance -, C^od^ Grace, and Man's
Cooperation •, without that we cannot re-
pent, and without this he v;ill not pardon^
If therefore the Dijfficulty to be overcome
be greater at threefcore, than at twenty^
andGrace be lefs, it's odds they'll not repent
at threefcore, but ^W certainly will be grea-
ter, and f/?/V infallibly will be lefs: There-
fore its odds, that the final Refolutions
of thefe unfortunate Gentlemen will vanifli
into Smoak, and end in eternal Defpair and
Punifhment.
I prove the Difficulty will certainly be
greater. Philofophy and Experience teach
us, that a frequent Relapfe into any Diforder
ingenders a Habit, (that is) a Facility and
Propenfion to reiterate the fame Adions.
And this takes its Force from the Frequency
of the Praftice : For though in natural Pro-
duftions there is a certain Point of Growth
and Perfeftion, yet in Morals there is no
fuch Term ^ both vicious and virtuous Ha-
bits may go on in infinitum: Hence It hap-
pens, that an inveterate Cuftom twills and
winds it felf into our very Nature ^ it finks
into our Bones, and enters into our Confti^
tution. Now, if all the frightful Reproach-
es of Confcience, all the Calls of Grace, the
difraalProfped of thofe Shades below, the
charming
A Gentleman injirn&ed^ 8cc. 65
charming Allurements of Heaven above,were
too feeble to reftrain Nature alone ^ will
they filence the Clamors of mutinous Paffi-
ons, curb the Violence of Nature back'd by
Cuftom, and inflamed with ill Habits? No,
no : Nature feconded by a Habit^ (like a
Load'ftone armed with Iron) draws ten
times ftronger. He who groans under the
Weight of a Feather, will fall under that of
a Mill-ftone.
Now, as ill Habits byals Nature, and
make it more impetuous, and lefs governa-
ble •, fo in our Suppofition, Grace the chief
aclive Principle, is iefs. For Grace is a free
Gift, no Debt, allter Gratia non ej]et j we
muft receive it as a meer Benevolence, and
cannot ask it as our Due.
Is it probable God will pour down upon
his mortal Enemies thefe Streams of Favour
and Bounty, as plentifully as on his Friends ?
on thofe who blafpheme. him twenty Years
together, as on thofe, who adore him ? on
thofe, who abandon their Duty out of a de-
terminate Ma'ice, as on thofe, who fall by
Surprize? It's certain he will not: For God
will vot he Uiight at • and can the Wit of Man
invrnt a more compendious, and at the fame
time a more biting Rallery, than by tramp-
ling under Foot this Divine Gift, that colt
our great Redeemer Torrents of Sweat, and
Rivers,
66 A Gentleman inflrnBed^ &c.
Rivers of Blood ? than by making his Good-
ntfs the Ground of our Ingratitude ? than by
refuiing to repent, becaufe he is prone to
pardon ? If God be juft, ( as certainly he
is) he'll ftop the Coaduft of his Mercy, and
rain down a Deluge of Malediftions on thofe
rebellious Giants, that attack the moftHigh,
ane turn his greatefi; Attributes againft his
own Breaft.
Neand. What you fay (as to the main) is
true •, but give me leave to tell you, there is
a dafli of Hyper boly in your Difcourfe :
Man's Malice can't weary God's Mercy -, he
can pardon more Sins than Man is able to
commit ^ nay, and will, if we fling our
felves at his Feet, and fue for Mercy. A
contrite Heart, E^tjebim^ is a moving Specta-
cle, it difarms God's Juftice, and melts it
into Mercy ^ and as he receives thofe Pro-
digals that return, fo he furnilhes 'em with
Grace for their Voyage.
Enfeb. Neander^ God's Goodnefs weighs
down Man's Malice -^ our Obftinacy can't
tire his Mercy ; he'll give both Pardon and
Heaven to thofe who ask 'em •, his Word
ftands engaged, and he can't fly back. But
then, where has he promifed that invete-
rateSinners fhall askPardon?It'struealfo,that
the molt profligate Debauchees have Grace
fufficient ta work Repentance. But what
fignifies
A Gentleman in(irn£ied^ &c. 6j
llgnifies a Power to do good, with a Will to
do Evil ? There is not a damned Soul ia
Hell, that did not once findit felf in the fame
Gircumftances. Is it lefs miferable, becaufe
once it might have been happy ? Alas / this
fad Meditation fuggefts new Matter to their
Defpalr, becaafe it reprefents their Mifery^^
together with their Folly, the Sole Ganfe of
their Misfortune.
Nean, Pray, Enfebius^ don't difgrace God's
darling Virtue, Mercy ^ nor condemn poor
Sinners to the worfl of Torments, Defpair.
Whilfi thne is Life^ there is Hope^ They wba
never thought of Pardon in their Lives^
found it at their Death. What ? he who
died for Man, can he have the Heart to damn
him ? The very Thief on the Crofs, though
abandoned by Men, was carefs'd by his lo-
ving Saviour ; and for one humble mememt^
mei^ received Mercy in this World, and Pa-
radife in the other.
Eitfeh, Miftake me not, (Dear Nemder)
I am not for grafping an Immenfity, nor for
prefcribing Bounds to an infinite Being ^ I
knov/ God's Mercy is above the Skies:
But then his Juftice finks below the Abyfs ;
judkia ejus ^b^jfus multa. We Can't take the
Hight of that, nor fathom the Depth of this.
They are both equal, (/. f. ) infinite j nay^
they are the fame thing : For juftiee is Mer-
cy,
68 A Gentleman inflru^ed^ Sec.
cy, armed with Revenge, and Mercy is Ju-
ftice, difpofed to Pardon : Why then fliould
we dread it in one Drefs, as well as dote
on it in the other ? I am not for caftingMen
into Defpair. As it is the greateft of Tor-
ments, fo it's the blackeft of Crimes, and
the mofb irrational : This antedates Dam-
nation, and gives us over to Execution be-
fore God has pronounced the Sentence. To
damn our felves out of a Fear of being
damned, is the Top of Madnefs j the non
plfis ultra of Frenfy, to think my Salvation
impoffible, is to make it fo j not to hope for
Heaven, is the next Way to lofe it. But
then if I hate Defpair, I abhor Prcfumption j
if that leads us to Hell by a dired Line, this
does the Bufinefs as efRcaciouily. For can
we outrage our great Mafter more, than
when we bend his auguft Attributes to our
Lewdnefs ? and build the Babel of our A-
bominations upon his Goodnefs ? and our
Crimes upon his Mercy ? Is not this to fport
with Majefty ? to rally Authority ? and to
play with Goodnefs ? And pray what Dif-
ference is there between defparingof Mercy,
and burlefquing it ? This impious Mirth,
(^Neander) will once end in Sorrow, and
thefe Peals of Laughter, in gnafliing of
Teeth : But becaufe our Libertines put a
great Strefs on the good Thief s Converfion,
and
A Gentleman infiru&ed^ &c. 6q
and fancy their Deaths will refemble his, no
lefs than their Lives \ 'twill not be amifs to
examine the Point.
Firfi. St. Bernard iQ]\% US, that this Thief's
Converfion is the only Example fto be found
in Scripture) of a deferred Repentance that
was fuccefsful. But, with Submiffion, St.
Bernard miftook in the Calculation : For this
was not properly a deferredRepentance.The
Thief anfwerM the firft Call of his agonizing
Saviour •, the firft Glance of his Sacred Eyes
wounded his fiuful Soul, and melted his hard
Heart into Love and Sorrow.
Secondly, The Theif received Pardon and
Paradife : But what did he to defervethis
miraculous Favour ? He adored Chrift, not
feated on a Throne of Glory, but covered
with Shame and Infamy, torn with
Whips, pierced with Thorns, outraged by
his Enemies, forfaken by his Friends: Befides
fome fay. Life was offered this Malefador, if
he would deny Chrift : But he chofe rather to
die with him, and for him, than to live with-
out him. So that now the Caufe of his Death
was changed, and he, who was faftned to
the Crofs a Robber, expired on it a Martyr.
Thirdly. God fealed his Pardon ; but this
Adi of Grace was granted on the Day of
Mercy j and yet of fo many Sinners that
were Spectators of this bloody Tragedy, we
knov/
70 A Gentleman ^nflru&ed^ 8cc.
know but this Thief, who was fo fortunate
as to ask Pardon, and to receive it. Tell
me then, Dear Nemdcr^ ought we not ra-
ther draw Motives of Fear from the Misfor-
tune of thoufands, than of Prefumption
from the good Luck of one ? If you look on
the right Hand of our dying Lord, pray caft
an Eye upon the left \ and if you behold on
the one fide a Saint, you'll difcover a Repro-
bate on the other. Let therefore Gentle-
men learn Fear from the Damnation of the
one, as well as from the other a dangerousSe-
curity. And I counfel all Chriftians to draw
this Conclufion from the different Deaths of
thefe two Malefaftors, that it's a Madnefs to
defpair, and Temerity to prefume *, mus
efi ne difveres^ unicus ne fr(zfiimas.
Wherefore confecrate the firfl: Fruits of
Reafon to God ^ you can't begin the Pra-
ctice of Piety too foon, but may too late ;
Nature untainted with Vice may be wrought
with eafe into any Form, and caft in any
Mould. It's a kind of tabula rafa^ a Blank^
that almoft with the fame Facility receives
the Charafters of jingd^ and of Devil ^ but
when once it'sftained'with Sin, when it s by-
afled by ill Habits, and worfe Principles, you
will find it ftubborn and rebellious. Be not
then fa foolifh as to prefer Dagger before
Security, and to tiirn Pkafure into ToiL
Take
A Gentleman irtfiru^ed^^Q. Ji
Take Occafion by tk^tFore-tcf^ it quickly paf-
fes, and feldom returns.
IX.
Religion is the Ground-work of Salvati-
on ^ and therefore you can't be too tender
of a thing that fonearly concerns your eternal
Happinefs. I recommend this Point to your
Care with greater Eagernefs, becaufe at pre-
fent it lies under all the Difadvantage of
Contempt, and I fear the Gentry hare a
greater Hand in the Scandal, than the Com-
monalty. Nothing, indeed, enters more
frequently in Difcourfe j it's the vulgar To-
pick of Converfation, the Subjedt of our
Heats, the Source of Divifions, and by
Confequence of our Misfortunes : Yet not
one of a hundred knows the very Meaning
of the Word, and not two in a thoufand agree
upon the thing •, the very Idea's we have of
it are wild and monllrous.
I have heard with Indignation andHorror,
fome Gentlemen pronounce ex Cathedra^
That Religion is a Grievance, no Duty, be-
caufe it controuls our moll nobly Faculty,
the Underflanding, and enfla/es us to blind
Obedience.
Others weigh Religion by Intereft, and
proteft, that Orthodoxy and Profit go to-
gether : So that in thofe Mens Theology
T'urctfm^ with a lOQo per am. is more credi-
ble, than Chriftianity with 500. Others
/
72 A Gentleman inflrudted^ &c.
Others again confound Religion with Fa-
ftion, and fo to carry a black Defign ftrike
in with any Conventicle, they cry out for
Liberty of Confcience, although they have
none for Reformation, though they delight
iu Tumults, and feign the j4r2gel to play the
Fiends
Others, like an abandoned Brat, drop it
at Church- mens Doors, and fancy it's aMon-
fter of their Begetting. Crafty ( fay they)
J^igling and Irtterefi brought it forth, whilft
Superftition and Policy maintains it.
But by thefe Gentlemens leave, Religion
is neither the Product of Spleen, nor the
Fruit of Imagination ^ its neither a Sratift's
Engine, nor a Parfons Invention ^ it came
from Heaven, and was planted on Earth by
Ghrift and his Apoftles j and we mufl either
believe it here^ or burn for our Infidelity
hereafter ^ He that belleveth^ and is bapiz^ed^
[hall befavcd j bi4t he that belkvcth not^ Jhall be
damned,
Thefe are our Saviour'sWords, and they
will be received, I fuppofe, by Chriftians.
The Apoftle delivers the fame Doftrine j
Without Faith it is imfojfible to f leafs God* Now
without doubt God made Heaven for his
Friends, not for his Enemies : for thofe who
pleafe him, not for thofe who contemn his
Laws, and fport with his moft peremptory
Commands,
A Gentleman inftru&ed^ &C. 75
Command. Again St. AngHflin tells us,
*^ Vhi vera fides non efi^ tiec foteft vera cjfe ju^
ftitia. But ti's Frenzfand IllulSon to excefs,
to fancy, that a Man not truly juft will be ad-
mitted into tbe eternal Joys of Heaven \ it
follows therefore very Juftly that Salva-
tion is a Chymasra out of Ghrift's Church,
and by confequence, that all thofe Libertine
Gentlemen, who play with Religion, and
fport with Faith, are in a fair way to deplore
eternally their fadious Impiety. I would
have 'em fpend fome cool Thoughts on the
Matter, and confider ferioufly, whether a
Petty, Brutifh, nay, Atheiftical Satisfaftioni
can countervail a perpetual Mifery, and whe-
ther they would not give more pregnant
Proofs of Wit and Judgment by enquiring
after the true Religion, than by lampooning
all.
Tell me not you lead a moral Life, yoit
walk by the Light of Reafon, and frame your
Condudt by its inviolable Maxims ; that you
neither cnrfe God, nor wrong your Neigh-
bour •, that you neither invade his Lands,
nor impeach his Reputation \ that your
Hands are not dipt in Blood , nor your
Tongue in Gall •, that you defile no Man's
Bed, nor encroach on his Property : Thefe
Negatives will never unlock Heaven's Gate,
E nor
* Dc Ser. Dei in raontc, C» 19*
74 A Gentleman inflru^ed^ &c.
nor jjlace you in Blifs. Faith muft car-
ry a Torch before you, otherwife you'll
ramble in the Dark, and wander in Error,
till the Flames of Hell difpiay the Miftake,
and at the fame time punifh it*
But do you think, Neander^ that thofe
Men, who talk down Religion, and cry up
Morals, are at the Bottom greater Friends
to the one, than to the other ? Alas ! no ;
their Aftions are as libertine as their Belief j
and if we may judge by Appearance, they
have no more of the Man, than of the Chri-
ftian: For whoever faw thefe mighty Advo-
cates of Morals, thefe Aflertors of Regula-
rity, ever ftand up in Defence of Virtue, but
when they actually condemn'd it in Praftice?
I have often indeed heard your qualified De-
bauchees talk molt feelingly of Sobriety over
Cham^ane^ of Temperance at a full Table :
And I once met with a Proftitute, that ex-
tolled Chaftity like a Vefial You muft there-
fore, when you meet with infidel Moralifts,
fuppofe, they only commend Virtue in Jeft,
but praftife Vice in good Earneft, and that
they are as far from enflaving their Paflions
to the Laws of Nature, as their Judgments
to Divine Revelation.
Take not Religion upon Credit-, there are
in the World Teachers of falfe Tenets, as
well as Coiners of falfe Crowns j and as you
bring
A Gentleman infirn&ed^ &C. 7 5
bring thefe to the Touch-Stone, fo you mufl:
bring thofe. To believe, you know not
why, is rather Stupidity than Faith ^ it's to
unfence Religion, to lay it open to the weak-
eft Aflault of Schifm and Herefy. k fine,
to believe nothing, is Madnefs, and to be-
lieve any thing, Folly. He is truly happy
who walks between thefe two Extreams,and
neither believes too much nor too little.
X.
The Religion you muft embrace, is that
which Chrift revealed, and his Apoftles
preach'd : This may be denied by a Jew or
Tnrk^ but not by a Chriftian. For, being
God, he had' Authority to command, and
we have an indifpenfable Obligation to obey ;
nor could he fet up Impoftures for Truths,
or impofe Falfhood under the Mask of divine
Revelation. The Apoftles indeed were Men,
but infpired from Heaven, and confequently
no more fubjed to Error, than the divine
Spirit that gave his Oracles through the Or-
gans of their Mouths.
This is a Summary of your Duty to God,
that you owe your Neighbour Ihall be the
Subjed of our next Entertainment. In the
mean time you muft be my Gueft to Day,
pray refufe me not the Favour.
Neaj7.\ am at yourCommand^ but let me de-
fire you to give me thefe excellentDocuments
E 2 in
y6 A Gentleman injirn&ed^ &c,
in writing ^ they are too long to be remem-
bered, and tooufeful to be forgot.
Enfeb. V\\ comply with your Defires, and
at my Leafure fet down what I can call to
Memory.
DIALOGUE IV.
Whether Gentlemen are obliged topaUtfe
Virtue.
" QCarce was Dinner ended, but in came
O ^^ EleutheriHs an Acquaintance of Eufe-
*' bins ; he was a Gentleman of a worthy Fa-
*^ mily, and of an Eftate fuitable to his Cha-
*' rafter. Liberty and Pleafure were his dar-
" ling Paffions \ and I have heard him fay,
*' he had rather want Grace than Wit, al-
" though he had no great Provifion of either.
*^ He could not endure to be crowded with
^' Vifits, or yoak'd in Ceremony, becaufe
*' fuch Formalities entrenched on Freedom,
" and put Liberty under Gonftraint •, and for
" this reafon he never Avent to Court : For
*' he compared Courtiers to fo mapy Slaves,
*^ who move in Fetters, and live for others,
*' not for themfelves ^ fometimes to work'd-
" down Labourers, more j5t for Sleep than
*^ Pleafure.
A Gentleman inflru&ed^ &c. 77
«^'Pleafure. In fine, he valued Eafe above
'^ Greatnefs, and Senfuality above Confci-
*• ence, fo that his Name jumpt with his Hu-
" mour i his Religion was of the lalt Edition,
'' that is, Puritanifm cut on Independency^ and
*• garnifh'd with an O/^o of upftart Novelties j
*^he afcribed Man's Juftification to Faith a-
" lone, and therefore condemnM goodWorks
'' as Heterodoxies Encroach ments upon Chri-
'' ftian Liberty, and Grievances to the Sub-
" je(ft : Hence he hated Humiliation- Days,
'^ and could never be perfuaded to faft,till he
'' had regaled his Appetite. One Day he mo-
'^ ved that the Statute de comhnrendo H^zretm
'' might be revived, and executed upon a
^' Per fan ^ for faying that efiote perfect was ad-
^' drefTed to Gentlemen ^ he look'd upon it
*^ as afcandalum magnatum^ and a clipping of
'^ the Privilege of Peerage. In fine, he
*' w^ of Opinion, that Fancy was the only
**^Rule of a Gentleman's Faith, and Pleafure
" that of his Adions.
EnfekW^lcome^Ele^therks^ pray fit down.
Why fo thoughtful and recollefted ? I fup-
pofe yen are come from your Devotions,
Morning-Service is juft done.
£/e//rfo^.Why,Man,thi^i§notth«L^r^'sDay^
Et^feb. Pray of what Religion are you?
ElfHthc. I am a Chrifiian,
E .3 Enfeff^
§2 -^ Gentleman wjiru&ed^ &c.
En/eh. Ay, that may be, but of what
Perfuafion ? For that Notion reaches a great
way : There are Chrifiian Pafifis^ Chrifiian
Tnrh^ and Chrifiian Irfdels ; and then there
are Protefiants^ and Trne Proteftants ; and in
fine, there are Etcetera Chnftians^ with which
of thefe do you convene ?
Elemhe. With all, and with neither, that
is, I have drawn off the Spirits from each,
and left the Capa mortuum behind •, in fhort,
my Religion is rfew and modifh : *Tis grin-
ned at indeed by fome, but praftifed by the
greater and more witty Part of the Nobili-
ty ; 'tis Reformation upon Reformation.
Eufeh. Mettle upon Mettle, is aSolecifm
in Heraldry^ and why not Reformation upon
Reformation in Religion ? but under Favour
if general Pradice hits right with the Pre-
cepts of your Religion, they are Fly-blown \
and were I difpofed to dogrel it, I would
only glofs upon thatText.Follow myCounfel,
EleHtherins ; fay common Praftice clafhes
with its Maxims, or elfe you'il give too
great an Advantage to Criticifm and Enqui-
ry. Forif whatyoufay be true, your Reli-
gion is without Fence, without Rampart,
and a little P.eafon will batter the whole Fa-
brick about your Ears^ for when the Quefti-
on is about good and evil, Pradtice ftands on
the wrong fide, Butj Sir^ let us wave Dif-
putci
^ A Gentleman injiru&ed^ 8cc. 85
pute •, fuppofing you are a Chriftian, what
Harm is there in going to Church on a Feria?
Eleiithe. What Harm is it to fink my Cha-
rafter, and fling up my Charter ?
Enfeb. Why Praying and good Works
come not within the Statute of Treafon, I
hope ?
FAeuthe. Take care, you may flip into a
Prem^a^e before you are aware. Liberty and^^'
Property are edged Tools now a days, few
have meddled with them without a Scar.
Eiifeb. You are in a very merry Vein to
Day, but methinks the Subjeft bears no Rai-
lery. Prithee (Drollery apart) what do you
mean by Liber ty^ Property^ and Tr^mumre <*
Eleuthe. In fliort then Gentlemen are not
tied up to Works oiSufererogation^ to Virtue,
Perfedion, and twenty other Niceties \ all
the World knows that Chriftians are free-
born Subjefts, exempt from the Bondage of
Precept and Ceremony. They date their
Liberty from the Moment of their Baptifm ;
and a Learned Clerk, let me tell you, was
of Opinion, that the very Ten Command-
ments expired with the Synagogue. Now,
Sir, to bring Gentlemen upon their Knees to
incumber their Liberty with Laws and Sta-
tutes, is to touch 'em in the moll fenfible
Part. Englijlmen will ftand for their Birth-
right, and not give up tamely foconfidera-
E 4 bla
§0 A Gentleman injiru&ed^ 8c€.
ble a Priviledge ; and if you ftrive to wreft
it out of their Hands, you may perchance
repent of the Attempt. You will have to do
with Numbers and Power : and though
Truth Hands for you, if Force fides againit
you, the Field will be loft.
Nvand, This is Liberty indeed witha Ven-
geance. Nature at this rate, and Senfuality,
are let Icofe, and have a large Field to walk
in. Eecaufe Chrift came into the World to
banifh Sin, Man may open the Gate to all A-
bominations \ he may break through all the
Barriers of Nature, Reafon and Religion \ he
ir^ay cofen and murder not only with Impu-
nity, but alfo with Devotion. I would have
ycu draw up a Petition againfl Goals, Pillo-
ries, and Execution •, nay, it would not be
amifs at your next C^jf^^- /^^^/i^j^- A fiembly, to
i^ote dov/n Hell alfo as a Grievance to the
freeborn Subjects of the Covenant.
Eleuthe. Nay, indeed the Parfon fl:rain*d
the Point, he hasoverfhot th«Truth and him-
felf too ; But ril maintain at leaft, that Gen-
tlemen are not bound up to what Divines call
Virtne and Perfe^lion ; thefe Fooleries look
well enough in a Canonical CafTock, or a
Clergyman's Drefs, but in Scarlet and Gold
Lace, they make a lean Figures they walk
in Embroidery, as little David did in SauPs
Armour, very awkardJy^ and rather fur-
nifh
A Gentleman if^rn&ed^ &c. 8 1
Difli Matter for Diverfion, than for Edi-
fication.
Enfeb. Though this Thefts has lefs of Scan-
dal than the formerjam fure 'tis equally falfco
For tell me, have not our Gentlemen and
topping Mortals received from the Liberal
Hands of God, a far greater Allowance of
Favour, than Vulgars ?
Elenthe. No doubt of it *, Nobility it felf
is a Favour of the firft Clafs \ it raifes a Man
above the Croud and Smoak of the World,
it entitles him to Honour and Refped^ the
Prince moves here below, as the Sun does
above in Glory and Magnificence •, Gentle-
men are Stars placed about him for Pomp^
State and Ornament ^ befides, Gentlemens
. Bodies have a finer Texture of Parts, than
thofe of a meaner Condition j their Com-
plexion is more bright and fprightly j their
Air more polite ^ In fine, Nature is like
Carvers, who fiubber over thofe Pieces that
arecondem'd to Obfcurity, and polifli thofe
with the lafl Exadnefs that ftand in View.
Eufeb. You argue right for me ; but then
you confute your ovfnThc/is. For if Gen-
tlemen have recei^^'^d more Favours than the
Peafant, certainly they are oblig'd in Honour
as well as Duty, to make a more ample Re-
turn of Gratitude. For, fuppofe a Prince
has raifcd one from the Degree of a Page to
E s that
86 A Genttemm injiru&ed^ &G.,
that of a Lord or Captain of his Guards, that
he has at the fame time flung in i loo© pe7- ann.
to fupport the Title, and fet off his Digni-
ty ; has not this new dated Peer a more ftraitr
Obligation to ferve his Royal Benefaftor^
than a Dray-man^ that only enjoys the com-^
mon Proteftion of the Government ? This'is
our Cafe to a Hair. You grant on the one
Hand, that fuch a Man lies not only under
the common and fundamental Duties of a-
Subjeft, but alfof under the additional Ties
of Gratitude to ferve his Prince ^ and on the
other you confefs, that God has with greater
Profiifenefspour'd outhisLiberality onGen-
tlemen^thanonClownsandTradefmen • why
then is not their Obligation greater to ferve
him ?
Elemhe. Their very Station and Rank, is^
their Patent of Exemption •, in fliort, they
have no time : For you muft allow a Gentle-
man Ten Hours for Sleep, a Quarter for his
private Affairs, Two Hours to faunter from
the Stable to the Dog- kennel^ Three for
Dinner, and as many for Supper ^ almoft
Six for the Tavern, Cofl'ee-houfe and The-
ati;e ; fo that you may fee here remains no
time for God and Virtue.
EHfeh. Your Arithmetic'k^ overballances
-your' Chrifdanity. Is it not ridiculous,
( I mean impious ) to take the length of a
Man's Duty by his Pradice, to argue from
A Gentleman inftrnl^ed^ &C. 87.
Fact to Right^ and Subpene Tranfgreflion
to witnefs for the Breach of a Precept? You
have carv'd out a Gentleman's Time exadil/!
enough, but not jullly, and I doubt muck
whether he will Itand to it in the nextWorld
tho' he may perchance in this. God bids 'um
watch and pray in the Gofpely and St. Panl
in his Epiftle recommends Sobriety andCha-
ftity. Now 1 think Men feldoni watch or
pray while they fleep, and as feldom learn
Sobriety in Taverns, or Chaftity in Brochels^
or Morality in profligate Converfation •, tell
me then not what Gentlemen do, but what
they fhould do^ which in fliort is this : As
they have but one Affair to manage, which
is their Salvation, fo all their Thoughts and
Aftions muft look that Way •, if any Motioa^
warps from this Center^ they fwerve from
their Duty; they muft balk Appetite, not
gratify it ; and either ftifle Paffions, or fet-
ter'um; they muft be humble in Profperity^,
and great in Adverfity, (/. e.) they muft
bear that with Moderation, this without
Glamours or Impatience ; they muft rather
forfeit their Lives thanConfcience, and poft-
pone Pleafure to their Duty. Thefe are the
Offices of Gentlemen : For Men were placed
in this World to cultivate Virtue, and to en-
joy the Fruit of it hereafter •, tho' they la-
bour.and fweat from the, Cr^^/
AQentUntan inJlrHBed^ Sec. 85
as well as your Neighbour ; and fometimes
your PafTion runs fo faft, that it diftances
your Reafon : For I think you grant that the
bare Obfervation of God's Commandments
will carry a Man to Heaven, what then have
we to do with your Works of Supereroga-
tion, Mortification, and Aufterities? The
very Word implies Counfel only, not a Pre-
cept, and by Confequence no Obligation.
Erjfeb. I grant what you defire, but then
I muft add, that without thefe Works of Su-
pererogation, as you call 'urn, you'll never
keep thofe Commandments. You can't hit
a Mark, nnlefs you level higher. Gravi-
ty finks the Arrow under the firllLineof
DireSion in Spight of the Impulfe. T his is
our Cafe, Nature draws towards the Center,
110 lefs than Weight v 'tis wanton and liber-
tine, and loves to range in the Latitude of
fenfual Pleafure, not within the Compafs of
Law and Regularity. Now, if you loofe the
Rein, and give it the whole Line of Duty
to play in, 'twill break through that Re-
ftraint, and carry you. beyond it For let
me tell you. Appetite is not carefled into
Duty, but beaten into it i, and Paflions are
not to be tam'd by Condefcendence. Like the
Mobile, the more Liberty you give 'urn, the
more they a^k ^ they muft be dieted and
brought low, other wife they'll fly in your
Eacco,
90 A Gentleman injlrn&ed^ Sec.
Face. In fine, if you will not have 'um, asfe
what is unjuft, refufe 'urn what is lawful , be-
fides. Indulgence arms 'urn, it gives 'um a
Profpeft of their own Power and your
Weaknefs ; and then if each finglebeaMatch-
for aCyam^ who can refifl the whole Band
drawn up in a Body ? You boggle at great^
Sins, but fwallow little ones without Scru-
ple or Remorfe ^ you fhut your Ears againft
the inward Calls of God's Grace, and ftrug-
gle with his Infpirations. All thefe things^
are petty Qparrels with your Maker ; they
are Contempts and Difrefpefts, tho' not
Treafons. In fine, they are Sins. Now,
whofoever dare look a little Sin in the Face
without Horror, will foon commit great
ones with Pleafure •, for they are both really
SinSjandmuftbe repented of ^ the Difference
lies only in the Greatnefs on the one fide,, and
in theLittlenefs on the other. When Marius
was fentagainft the Ciwi^r/, his Soldiers durft
not look theEnemy in the Face •, their Gygan-
tick Stature and Barbarous Afped cow'd the
Romm Bravery : But when they had beheld
thefe hdixhdLXOXi^Germans three Days from the
Camp, their Spirits revived, and their con^
gealed Courage began to circulate through
every Vein ^they not only fought 'um, but
overcame. Juft fo a Man educated in the
Sriiijcipks of Chriftianity^ caunot think of
the.:
A Gentleman inflrn&ed^ &C. 91
the Breach of a Commandment without
trembling, without ConvDlfions ^ but then
he flides into trivial CommKTions ; At firft,
a Damp rifes over his Stomach) he is crop^
lick, uneafie, he continues on his Courfe,
and Confcience begins to flumber ^ its Re-
proaches are faint •, its Strings fcarce percep-
tible -, Cuftom flings in aDofe of Op/^w,and
then it falls into a Lethargy •, and when Man
is once arrived at this Pitch of Infenfibility,
he boggles at no Impiety ^ he breaks through
God's Commands, and will ftorm Hell to la-
tisfiePaffion. From whence comes this, but
from yourPrinciple,^/?^^6'^^//^;7^^;? are not tied
up to Firtne^ Patience^ Humility f For, did
fuch Gentlemen mortifie Appetite, and crufh
Senfuality in the Cradle ^ did they place all
their Satisfaftions in an abfolute Obedience
to their Maker's Will, and never allow Na-
ture and Senfesany Play-days, they would
not have broke open the Inclofures of Duty,
rior left all in common to Licentioufnefs ^
they had never made their Inclinations their
Law, nor Pleafures the fole Boundaries of
their Adions : For that Aphorifm is mofl:
true, Nemo refente fit turpijfimns^ no Body
jumps into III on the fuddain ^ Negli-
gence, and Diftruft, weaken God's Com*
mands,before we venture to break 'em.Now,
fuppoSng all Men uq obliged to Virtue, irt
natu-
88 A Gentleman inflrH&ed^ &c.
naturally follows, that this Obligation lyes
harder on Gentlemen.
Firfi^th^y lie more in the Reach of Temp-
tation, than People of an inferiour Rank y
more in View of the Enemy ^ their Gircum-
ftances then require Vigilance •, they mull
ftand Gentinel, and place Out-Guards for
fear of a Surprise. A poor Man, that can
fcarce furniih Neceflaries for Life, has nei-
ther the Means nor Thought to pamper
Luxury ^ Nature is work'd down, and rather
cries out for Reft than Pleafure. In fliort,
he can fcarce live, much lefs riot •, Pride
can't come at him, it muft pafs through
Muck, Smoak, and Penury to reach him.
Now, this Vice is too high ftomach'd to
ftoop fo low, it loves not to lie on a Dung-
hil, or fleep on Straw ^ and a man that dai-
ly fees and feels nothing but Want and Mi-
fery, muft be mad before he can be proud,
or grow vain upon any fond Prefumption :
Be fides. Appetite is fo kept under by Necef-
lity, that it can fcarce crawl ^ its very De-
fires reach no higher than Bread to fubdue
Hunger •, and Cloaths, to fence ofFCold,and
vail Nackednefs. No ill Objeftpafles through
the poor Man'sEyes into theHeart-, they draw
in no Species but thofe of Beafts and Dung-
hils -, fo that whatever they behold is either
rebating or innocent, la fine, they are be-
lovf
A Qentteman w(iru£ied, &C- %9
low Temptation, and likea fmall difmantled
Village, not worth feizing. But Gentlemen
ftand the Mark of every Temptation, the
Worlds the Flefh^ and the Devil^ feem to have
enter'd a triple League againfl: them •, they
are mark'd out for Slaughter and Sacrifice j
they live in the midft of Plague and Infefti-
on, and can't take one Step without meeting
Danger, nor breath without taking in Con-
tagion*, the World fawns on them •, Pailions
revolt, and the Devil calls Nets to enfnare
them ^ fine Sights debauch the Eyes, Mufick
the Ears, Ragou's the Tafte, Perfumes th^
Smell, and falfe Principles the Underftand-
Jng ; Wine heats the Paflions, and Delicacies
put 'urn in a Ferment -, fo that a Gentleman
is befet on all fides •, each Vice batters his
Conftancy, and aflaults his Innocence. Now,
what Way can he come off with Viftory ?
He muft raife Counter-Batterief, and dis-
mount thofe Engines that play upon him ^ he
muft make a Sally, and face Pride with Hu-
mility, Luxury with Continency, Intempe-
rance with Sobriety, and Love of Pleafure
with that of Duty : In Morals as well as Phy-
ficks Contraries alone defeat Contraries.
Does not Nature tell us, as well as Experi-
ence, that when the Attack is brisk and vi-
gorous, the Place will infallibly be taken,
unlcfs the Defendant beat off Force with
Force,
94 ^ Gentleman injiru&ed^ &c.
Force, and tire out the Aflailants with Refo-
lution.
Secondly. The Faults of the bafer fort of
Mankind are Perfonal ^ they never fpread i^
like an ^/?c?/?/^Ar)' they ftrike but one*, the Mif-
chief ends where it begun, and one Life fa-
tisfies its Fury. But Gentlemens Crimes be-
come univerfal, like the Plague they fweep
away whole Families, and drive Mortality
and Defolation before um. For the Vulgar
are an apifhGeneration,they live onlmitation,
and are carried away by theExample of Great
ones, as the inferior Orbs by the Motion of
the fuperior ^ fo that if a Mafter throws his
Vices among the Family, they are foon pick'd
up, and wore as Robes of Honour. For Ser-
vants that know their Fortune depends on a
Mailer's Smile, will not eafily difpleafe him :
They eye every Motion , lludy his Humour,
and ftrike in with his Inclination : They ap-
plaud his Extravagancies firft, and then adopt
them by Pradice. And thus by this abomi-
nable Gomplaifance, Slaves oftentimes work
themfelvesinto their Mailers Favours, and
not feldom into their Ellates and Dignities.
And then when Vice is fo extravagantly re-
warded, both with Eftate and Pleafure,
when a Man can debauch himfelf into a com-
petent Fortune, without other Charges or
Expence, than thatot Confcience, 'tis odds
he'll
A Gentleman in^rnUed^ &C. 95
he'll venture on the Entreprize. Befides,
Sins fupported with Efcittcheon and Title
pafs for Grandeur : Nay, and Vice at the
Head of a pompous Retinue is often miitaken
for Virtue. For the Vulgar judge by the
Eyes, not by Reafon •, and whatever appears
great^ they conclude ^W, as if Glittering
and Value were Synonimous. Who has
fpread this lilufion through the whole Mafs
of thefe Mortals, but the Nobility ? Gen-
tlemen therefore, befides the direft Obli-
gation of Obedience they owe to God, they
lie under a collateral one of Charity towards
their Neighbours, and by Confequence, their
Failings carry Scandal along with 'um,as well
as Difobedience ^ fo that every Grime they
commit, may be calFd Legion.
Eleiithe. 'Tis time to take a little Breath,
you'll over-heat your Lungs, and difcom-
pofe your Fabnck. But pray, Sir, under Fa-
vour, are M^^^xs Coaler sex ojficioi or muft
they be Bayl for their Servants good Behavi-
our?
Eufeb. No, but then they muft not be their
Murderers.
Eleuthe. Why I fuppofe yon don't intend
to caft fcandalous Reflexions upon the whole
Progeny of Matters ? Have a care they may
bring an Adion of Calumny againft you j 'tis
dangerous for a fingle Man to engage with
Numbers. Eti[e.
^2 A Gentleman inftru^ed^ &c.
Enfeh. Let us notdifpute of the Name, 1
fay you ftab Souls; if this be not Murder^
*tis fomething worfe^ and if our Laws take
no Cognizance of it, God's do.
Elenthe. What Matters muft play the
Chaplains to their Families, as N, N. did ;
they muft on with the SarfUce and Tiffet^ and
preach to the Text of Fifthly Beloved ir it
fo f Is our Brother gone afiray ? Tea verily to
Ferdition.
^///Laughing andDrolery,are greatReliefs
at a non-fliis, I have often feen fome in Con-
verfatiou, when their Stock ot Reafon was
laid out, extream lavifli of fuch Impertioen-
eies. Leave the Pulpit to the Parfon^ but
preach within your own Walls ; at leaft by
Example : This is more perfuaflve than
Words; 'tis within your Sjjhere, within
the Liberties of your Office and Obligation
too ; or at leaft Ihroud your own Abomina-
tions under a Cover ; let them not take Air,
they'll fit more eafie on your Confcience, and
not entangle others ; if you'll not couple
together the Office of Chaplain and Malter,
don't that oi Gentleman and Devil.
EleHthe. I perceive by your Difcoufe, that
Gentlemen will not gain your good vVill,
nnlefs they put on Fetters, and fee their
Keepers. Slavery is not fo valuable a Blef-
fing, as to be purchas'd. People often buy
Liberty,
A Gentleman inflrkSed^^Q. 93
Liberty, but feldom Chains. I muft ftand
forfooth upon Refervednefs and Cere-
mony with my Lacquay or Groom, put a
Reftraint upon my Freedom, mure up my
Mouth, and ftifle Mirth, or elfe cry out,
Jack^ HYider Favour ! Or, Pray he not fcanda^
lit*d\ Is not this to put Jack in the Coach,
and perch my Lord behind it ? to place Tom
in the Parlour^ and bind over Right IVorjljip"
ful to the Kitchen ? In fhort. Speculation and
Theory may approve your Morals, Praftice
cannot. We hire Mens Service, not their
Devotion.
Enfeh. Very well, according to your Ca-
fuiftry , Precedents vye the Standard of
Right, and then in the fame Fignreand Mode
it follows plain enough, that becaufe Men
damn themfelves, they do it juftly, and wc
are eternally miferable by Law. The Con*
fequence is Logical enough, but not too
Chriftian. However, if Hell have fuch won-
derful Charms, run into its Embraces : But
remember there is no Return •, and look be-
fore you jump, elfe you may condemn your
Folly, but not amend it. Quick Refoluti-
ons are foon repented.
Eleuthcrius arefe in a Heat^ and walled 4-
boHt the Room^ his Pnlfe beat high^ and one
might read the Trouble of his Mind on his Cheeks.
EUuthei
yB A Gentleman inflru&ed^ 8cc.
Eleuthe. I love not thefe fevere Morals i
they cow the Spirits, disjoynt Converfation,
and clog Freedom. Spleen begot 'em, Me-
lancholy nurs^em, and Envy recommend-
ed 'em to the Pulpit. For, I find thefe Men
are the great Champions of Virtue, that are
notable to be vicious^ and thofe declaim
moft againft Pleafure that are pafl: enjoying
it. Yet thefe falfe Devotees will needs impofe
on Gentlemen, and fet their Impotence as a
Law for others.
Enfeb. Look ye, there is no Harm done ;
you are ftill Mafter of your PraOiice, though
neither of us can command Principles •, thefe
come not within the Precinft of your Liber-
ty ; are neither fubjeft to Change or Alte-
ration i Semper idem^ is their Motto. In a
Word, Sir, I mould not my Difcourfe to
an Humorift's Inclination, but to the Rules
of Truth. Judgment and Conviction move
my Tongue, not Adulation. If I have im-
pofed on you, unmask the Impofture ^ if not,
let good Humour run in its ordinary Chan-
nel. To ftrike in with a Patient's Difeafe,
is not Kindncfs, but Cruelty -, and I believe
you had rather be eafed of aDiftemper with
Coloquimida^ than be be fent into the next
World with Jdifs,
Eleuthe. It's true, but I would not be de-
barred of Elbow Room, nor willingly fit in
the
A Gentleman inJiruSed^ &c, 79
the Stocks^ or be awed by a Groom or a
Foot-Boy. I would not bid Defiance to Cod-
fcience, nor war upon the Almighty. I am
willing to condefcend to an Agreement upon
HonourableConditions*
EHfeb. What? Will you ftanduponTerms
with your Maker ! and Article with your
Creator ? id eft^ you*ll vouchfafe to be his
Servant, provided he takes off all Reltraint
from Nature, and give you leave to live at
Difcretion ? Fye, iyCjEleuthemis^ you are
too weak to grapple with the Omnipotent ;
when he commands, you mult obey.
Elenthe. Right, when he commands j the
Queftion it not dejure but defaflo^ not whe-
ther he can command thefe Trifles you fpoke
of, but whether he has commanded 'em. For
in Ihort, we bawl upon the Topick of Vir-
tue and Vice, and yet we fcarce know what
we wou'd be at. For what one Country
approves, another condemns •, and what de-
ferves the Halter under ^»^ f/^-z/^/^/^^ merits
a Patent under another. The Lacedemonians
rank'd fubtil Thefts among the Virtues, and
punilh'd your clumfy Lurchers j as if the Sin
confided in the Difcovery alone. In other
Places it's an Aft of Piety to feed heartily
on a deceafed Relation, and an unpardona-
ble Crime to deliver a Father over to the
Mercy of Worms,
95 A Gentleman inJirH&ed, &c.
Enfeb. What do yon mean ?
Elenthe. I mean , that Good and Evil^
Sight and Wrongs Virtue and Vice, lie much
in Fancy and Education •, that Policy and
Cuftom coin thefc different Notions. Why
elfe is the fame thing Good under one Meri^
diarj^ and Evil under anotfier ? Popery in
Italy^ France and S^ain is voted Orthodox j
in England Heterodox. Beyond Seas Falling
and Celibacy are meritorious; in England Cq^
libacy is fuperftitious^vain and hypocritical.
So that inConclufionjC^^^^and Bad vary with
the Climate, and by confequence take their
Being from Imagination, Intereft, or Civil
Authority, unlefs you'll fay that all Mens
Reafofl is not of the fame Species.
Eufeb. No doubt, you have harangued ex-
cellently on the Text of Libertinifm ^ why
don't you confound all Religions, as well as
all Aftions ?
Neand. I believe he does : For if Virtue
and Vice differ only in Name, Faith and Infi-
delity may eafily be reconciled, and then
Mahametifm may put in as good Pretenfions
to Revelation as Chriftianity.
Eufeb. Prithee, Eleutberins^ talk no more
of Faith, of Church, of Religion 5 thy Breath
fmelis rank enough to fly-blow Truth, and
to taint the Gofpel.
Eieutheo
A Gentleman inJirnSed^ &c. 97
Eleiithe. Adieii •, my Bufinefs calls upoa
me. Pray let our next Converfation be more
palatable.
Enfeb. By all means •, we'll talk of Wine^
Women^ and Veni[on Pafiies j thefe are pala-
table Topicks for Epicures and Scavingers,
but not for Gentlemen and Chriftians.
Elenthe. Gentlemen your humble Servant.
Eufeb, You fee, Neander^ Eleiuhermis uni-
verfal Praftice, drawn up in ftiort j can
Blindnefs, Stupidity, and Madnefs foar high-
er ? Like crowned Viftims thefe unhappy
Creatures dance and ling under the fatal
Stroak without Concern, without Senfe of
the Danger ! They laugh and droll one Mo-
ment, and begin the next to weep eternally.
Oh Frenzy ! They poll in full Speed in the
broad Way to Perdition, and will needs be
told they fpur to Heaven ! What Notions
have thefe Men of the other World, who
live fo madly in this ! Surely they fancy the
Soul flafhes into nothing, when the Body
falls into Duft, and that they die like Beafts,
they live fo like 'em. Yet thefe are your
well-bred Gentlemen, your Men of Parts
and Merit : And indeed one mud have ex-
troardinary Breeding to compliment our
felves into Hell •, one mufl: be witty to Mad-
nefs, and prudent to Folly, to contrive our
eternal Mifery fo efficacioufly. But feeing;
F they
98 A Gentleman injir;i&ed^ S
A Gefttleman inflrH^Jed^ &C. 107
ftate ? a well fnrnifh'd Table ? and upon Oc-
cafion tofmile?
Eitfeb. I anfwer firfl:^ though thefe Acti-
ons taken in Retail are not criminal, yet
taken in a Lump they can t be innocent. For
is it lawful, do you think, to confecrate all
the Moments of your Life to Eafe and Plea-
fure ? to carefs Paflion, and court Senfuali-
ty, to make Satisfadion the Principal and
End of all your Defires and Endeavours, and
not to give Virtue the very Place of an Ac—
cellbry ? What mean thofe Precepts of Self^
Denial^ of pijf^'fi'rig-, of mortifying the Sallies
of the FleJJj P Do they ftand for Cyphers in the:
Gofpel, or were they made meerly to tranf-
grefs ? Did the Son of God efpoufe our Na-
ture with all its InSrmities? Did he fufFesr
Hunger, Perfecution, Whips, and Death to-
purchafe us Grace, to be drawn from //-fWf-
Park to the Theatre ? from thence to Balls and 1
Feajls? Did we come into the World to>
dance Menuets and Klcadones ? to fing jiir$.^
either amorous or uncharitable ?
Secondly^ To fee a Play that is either inaa—
center inflrudive, is no Sin. But then to^
fee five hundred Plays, that from tht Pro^
logue to the Epiloaue^ are either ftuft with*
Blafphemy, or larded with AtheifnT, or em°-
broidered with Smut and Ribaldry,, is tu
Sin. Can a Chrifnan with a fafe Confcienc^
take Kleafure ia hearing, the Name of hh Re-^
deei.T;«r
loB A Gentleman inftrnBed, &c.
deemer reviled, in feeing every part of his
crucified Saviour recrucified in horridOaths.^
Does a Speftator of this fecond Crucifixion
bear him more Reverence, thanthofeof his
Firft ? Can you fee without a Crime, Virtue
brought every Evening to the Scaffold either
as a Criminal or a Harlequin to be punifh'd
©r hooted at ? and Vice tread the Stage firfl
with Pomp, and then go off with Reward ?
Is it not a Sin to countenance one ? And who
countenances thofe Scenes of Liber tinifm but
thofe who pay the Players and applaud the
Poet ?
I do not fay it's aCrime precifely to dance
fometimes at a Ball^ to fing an j^ire aUmodey
to enjoy a fair Eftate, to fit at a full Tcble,
or to wear zgawdy Mantua^ if you clear Ac-
counts with "Merchants and Taylors. But,
Madam, thefe Amufements are waited on
by fo violent, fo provoking Temptations^
that a Lady fmitten (totranfport and do-
tage with thefe Vanities) will certainly fall
into many crying Offences, and by Confe-
quence draw down upon her finful Head
both the Maledidtions and Vengeance of our
Bleffed Saviour.
For alas! if the mofl: Watchful are
fometimes furprized, are not thofe in Dan-
ger who fleep in the very Camp of their Ene-
mies ? If thofe Chriftians can fcare over-
come
A Gentleman inflrn&ed^ &C. 109 '
come the Allurements of Vice, who confine
themfelves to Retirement and Solitude ; who
check Appetite •, who baulk Paffion, and
crucifie the Flefh •, will thofe withftand the
Attacks of Concupifcence; the Aflaults of
Satan, the fawning Charms of the World,
who inflame the Blood with high Feeding ?
who imbolden Paflion by a criminal Conde-
fcendence? and foolilhly brave the Force of
the Devil's battering Engines without the
Armour of Prayer, Humility and Mortifica-
tion?
Lady. Pray, Sir, be pleafed to cut out
fome Work for Ladies ^ fet 'em a Task, and
regulate their Employment. I fuppofe you'll
remove us at leaft four Miles from London^
as the Government does on Occafion Papifis j
or provide us with Wheels and Flax-, or
confine us to the Dairy to make Cheefe-Cakes
and Cuftards for the Family.
Eufeh. No, Madam, Town-Air is proper
for your Complexion. I am not for Remo-
val into the Camfagne^ nor for gracing your
Ladyfhip with the Title of Spinftrefs •, (tho'
perchance the Law does) I am of no levelling
Principles j Quality has Prerogatives, and
I would have you maintain 'em : But then if
you are a Lady, you are alfo a Chriftian, and
muft make good the Charafter, id eft^ you
mult love thoie very things you hate, and
hate
no J Gentleman i^fim&ed^ &G.
hate thofe you dote on ; Eafc is your Darlings
and Pleafure your Favourite Inclination ^
you muft withdraw your Affedion from the
one, and profecute the other with Averll-
on ^ you pamper your Body to Excefs, and
carefs it almoft to Idolatry •, you muft treat
it like an Enemy •, you muft cut off all fuper-
fluous Sollicitude, and ftint it to what is
meerly necelTary ; your Equipage and Furni-
ture muft anfwer your Rank, not your Va-
nity i and you muft meafure 'em alfo by your
Husband's Eftate, as well as by his Quality ;
you muft educate your Children in the Fear
of God, and give "em^ Breeding fuitable to
their Extradion.
''Her Ladyfliip flew out into a Faffion^
*'and had not EleHtherins returned in the
" Nick of time, EnfehiHs might have found
*' by Experience, that good Counfel is often-
" times ill received: But£/^/^^W/V^'sPrefence
" Gonjur'd the Tempeft. He begged Enfehim^s
'' Pardon for having difappointed hira
" and told him ingenioufly, he came from
" beating the Drum, to invite two Volun-
'^ teers to continue the Combat, that they re-
" fufed to enter into Service.
'' Pray, Sir, replied EnfehiHs^ let the Coa-
" troverfy fleep-, I have delivered my Opi-
^' nion, if it jars with yours, 1 cannot help
" it 5 you are your own Matter. After fome
^' m«
A Gentieman irifirn&ed^ 8cc. 1 1 1
'^indifferent Difcourfe, Eufehiits returned
" home, and the next Day gave a Vifit to
^' Ncayider^ and profecuted his former Dif-
^^ courfe thus.
DIALOGUE Vf.
Eufebius inflrui^s Neander in the Dn^
ties that regard our Neighbour.
EVfeh. I toucht briefly at our laft Meeting
the Branch of Chriftian Duty that re-
lates to God. ril now fum up the mofl: elTea-
tial Parts of your Obligation towards your
Neighbour.
r.
Love your Nelghhour^ as your felf^ fays the
Text '^ and our blefTed Redeemer afTures us,
that Love, Concord and Union are the mofl:
difl:ingui(hing Qualities of a Chrifl:ian. The
primitive Believers fet fuch a Value on this
darling Virtue of God made Man, that one
Heart feem'd to animate all their Bodies^
and one Soul to govern all their Adions : fo
that the very Heathens, who hated their Re-
ligion, admired their Charity, and were
forc'd to confefs, that nothing but a Divine
Hand
I r 2 A Gentlentaf2 inftm^ed^ &c.
Hand could ftrike that Heavenly Concord
from fuch a Difcord of Humours, Inclinati-
ons and Interefts.
And left Self-Love might reftrain the
Word Troximus^ and as the Jews confine it,
to Country-men, Friends and Relations, our
Saviour has been pleas'd to extend it to all
Mankind ^ fo that without Diftinftion, with-
out Limitation, it takes in the whole Spe-
cies. Whofoever bears the Imprefs of God
o\\ his Forehead, though he carry that of
the Be aft on his Heart, is ftill our Neigh-
bour. No Diftaace of Place can cut off the
Affinity, no Length of Time can wear out
the Obligation.
Nor muft this Divine Virtue only play on
our Tongue, or evaporate into gentile Dif-
coarfes, or fmoothComplimcnts wrapt up in
Terms of Courtdiip ^ no, it muft not end in
Grimace or Ceremony, but ftand the Teft
of Aftion •, fine Proteftations of Kindnefs too,
too often vail traiterous Defigns, and fugar'd
Words poifonous Intentions : Nor is ic a
new Treachery to prefent the Olive of Peace
with one Hand, and the Stiletto with the
other.
II.
Chriftian Charity taken in its full Lati-
tude, implies Precepts both negative and fo^
fitive y by thofe you are moft feverely forbid
to
A Gentleman in(lrH£ied^ &C. 115
to contrive any Mifchief againfi: your Neigh-
bour \ by thefe you are commanded to be as
ufeful to him as your Circumftances permit^
and his Neceffities require.
IIL
Hence you mufl not invade your Neigh-
bours Honour, nor make any Attempt up-
on his Reputation : A good Name is no coa-
temptible Treafure ^ the Wife Man prizes
it above an Eftate \ it fets off Birth, and
gives an Air even to Poverty \ it Ihines
brighter than Wealth, and fparkles more
than all the Tinfel Gawdry of Fortune \ it
fupports Grandure, and fweetens Misfor-
tune. A Bankrupt that has loft his Coin, if
he has not forfeited his Honour, has a Rc-
fource at Command. Though his Fortune
be fallen, he has a Fund to rebuild it on : But
a Man without Honour is dead to all the Of-
fices of Society and Commerce •, now when
his moral Capacity lies in the Grave, his
Phydcal one alone creates Mifery and Con-
tempt to himfelf. Sport for fome, and Pity
for others.
God has fo entailed this Bleffing to every
Individual, that it's not at our Difpofal \ we
can neither make over this Property by
Deed of Gift, Bill of Sale, or mortgage it at
Pleafurc. Much lefs can any other Man lay
any
I T 4 A Gentleman wjlru^ed^ See.
any Claim to it. You may commence a Sute
of Law againfl me, if you think I am your
Debtor ^ but you can't put in a Bill againfl:
my Honour. If I have wrong'd you, fuie for
Satisfaction •, (train my Goods, but aflail not
my good Name.
Yet, Good God! with what a Freedom,
with what Boldaefs do we attack our Neigh-
bour's Reputation ? One would think Fame
like bonaadtfpota^ Goods without Owner be-
longed to the firft Invader.
Detraction is univerfally the Difcourfe aU
mode^ not only among the Frie, but alfo a-
mong the Nobility. Our Converfitions are
begun and carried on at our Neighbour'sEx-
pence, and fo we laugh and riot at free Colt 3
we darg out his mofi: fecret Failings to the
Bar, nay, and hale 'em to Execution with-
out Authority, vvithout Warrant, yes, with
a greater Crime.
Suppofe his Crimes are real •, what then ?
Who made us Judges? who commiffioned us
to hang the Delinquent Z;^ £jl^^/> /* to pro-
claim on the HoufeTops what he com.mit-
ted in his Glofet? Though he has loH his
Honour in the Sight of God, he ftands fair
in the Efteem of Men, and has Right to con-
tinue fo, till his Crimes betray themfelves,
and expofe his Iniquity to the Publick \ if he
has done ill, God will call him toafevere
Aecount
A Gentleman injiru^ed^ &c. 1 1 5
Account, but we muft not intermeddle. It's
our Duty to pity a Sinner, and to pray for
hiin, but not to upbraid him.
J only jelled, (fays one.) But why muft I
pay for your Diverfion ? Though you publifh
my Faults in Jeft, you ftab my Reputati-
on in Earneft. But befides, by this very Ex-
cufe you acknowledge your felf a Fool, to
prove your Innocence: for to jefi and to
pUy the Fool are in Pradice Synonimous.
He is my Enemy, (fays another.) Did
you inform the Company of this Circum-
ftance, you might perchance detraft more,
and fin lefs , for who believes an Enemy?
On fuch an Occafion all goes for Satyr and
inveftive. When the Heart is out of Tune,
the Tongue never goes right ; but you v/het
and oyl your Darts, that they may pierce
deeper. You command me to conceal your
PafTion, and then Detect my Life to (hew me
for a Mpnfterj and thus you call in Artifice
to fccond Malice, and mifufe your Wit^ to
ruine an Innocent, and to enhance your
Guilr.
But why am I your Enemy ? Becaufel
would not refolve to be yoar Ditfe, Youfet
Traps to enfnare me ^ I difcovered the Am-
bufcadc, and had Wit to avoid it : And thus
you take the Liberty to befpatter my Fame,
becaufe you wanted Power to affront my
Perfon. Yet>
Il6 A Gentleman inflrudted^ &c.
Yety though I am your Enemy, you are
not, I fuppofe, an Infidel. If I have failed
in my Duty, mufl you betray yours for Com-
pany ? You are a Chriftian, and muft there-
fore either forget or forgive. My Impiety
cannot warrant yours. Revenge is canfa
major^ and only belongs to the Court of the
molt High. At his Bar alone we muft plead
our Caufe, and from his upright Judgment
we muft exped Redrefs
Ah, Dear Neander I let us turn our Eyes
homeward, and examine our own Condud j
we may perchance find there Matter for Sa-
tyr, and Work for Repentance. Here we
may blame without Detradion, and con-
demn without Sin. But it's both mean and
nnchriftian, flike Flies) hover about our
Neighbour's Sores. Put a Centinel over
your Tongue-, it's a flippery Member ^ Na-
ture has framed it for Motion, and Malice
has fitted it for any Mifchief-, a Child can
fet it a running, but all the Force of Reafon,
all the Checks of Confcience are not able to
ftop it in its Carreer.
But above all things be cautious and tender
of Ladies Reputations: A Woman's Honour,
like her Sex, isfoftcomplexion'd^ the ve-
ry Breath fullies its Luftre, and a Touch
daihes it in Pieces. Wounds made by the
Tongue, (like the biting of Crocodiles ) are
above.
A Gentleman inJirnSfedj &c. 1 17
above the healing Virtue of Balfam^ and the
Skill of Surgery. Qj^od demihus laceravit^
niiTiciuam fanatur. An indifcreet Word bolt-
ed out at random, without Defign, without
Malice, oftentimes ftabs the Fame of the fe-
male Sex, and every Wound is mortal.
My Blood has often curdled in my Veins,
when I hear'd Gentlemen magnify their in-
famous Conquefts, and raife cruel Trophies
on the Ruins of Women*s Honour ^ I had not
Patience to hear their Bravades, nor Power
to hinder 'em. What will thefe People blulh
at, (thought I ) who proclaim their Infamy,
and promulge their Shame ? Certainly they
muft think it a fine thing to be a Monfter,
why elfe do they triumph in Lewdnefs, and
fport with Debauchery ?
Thefe mighty Victories are either real or
Pretended j if real, can Fancy frame any
thing more difingenuous, more diabolical,
than firft to wheedlea Lady outof her Inno-
cence, and than to proftitute her Honour to
the wanton Caprice of a Club of Reprobates,
who will not fail todifcover her Shame at
the next Rendezvous, and to multiply their
own Crimes by lampooning hers. Here is a
Brace of Sins, both fmell ftrong of Malice,
both forbode Damnation.
If
1 18 A Ger7tleman inflru&ed^ 8cc.
If pretended only^ the Crime is yet of a
deeper Die ^ it's of a more formidable A-
fped, of a more gygantick Size : Here is In-
nocence at the Blocks and Guilt commits the
Murder.
I know in the next World God will call
to a mofl: fevere Account thefe Chrifliah
Can.bals that welter in Bloody and Hike fa-
mifli'd Wolves) worry their own Species.
But I would have the Wifdom of the Nation
make fome Provifion againft fuch brutal,
fuch inhumane Attempts. Why fhall a
High-way-man hang for taking my Purfe,
and a Rake gounpunifh'd, who invades my
Honour? Why fliall a Rape upon a Wo-
man's Body be revenged with a Haulter,
and Violence upon her Fame be rewarded
with Applarfe ? If the Faults be greater,
why are not the Funifhments at leaft equal ?
Why is there not a Reflraint on the Tongue
as well as on the Hands? Is it becaufe it's
lefs Capable of Difcipline? What, muft the
Greatnefs of the Mifchief be a Plea for Impu-
nity ? Becaufe this funy fetuUnt Member
commits more difmal Crimes than our whole
Body, muft it enjoy a more uncontrolled Li-
berty ? I would have thefe Beafts of Prey
forc'd out of Savagenefs and Cruelty by Law
and Difcipline •, they (hould be clapt in the
Pound, or cooled with a hot Iron -or at
leaft
A Gcntlayidn w^rnUul^^c. 119
kafl we fhould keep in Pay a Brigade of
Hunters to ferret out Defiamators, and to
clear the Nation of this noxious Vermine^
as once we did of Wolves : But I fear the
Diftemper is paft Cure •, thofe who are infe-
ded carry the Contagion to the Grave.
Not one in a thoufand repents.
Neand, Why fo ? Is Detraftion one cf
thofe Sins that are neither pardoned in this
Life nor the other ? True Sorrow is a Ca-
tholicon,an univerfal Salve for all the Wounds
of Confcience.
Euftb, Right, true Repentance has a kind
of Omnipotence ; it difarms divine Juftice,
and turns God into iMercy \ but then it muft
be true^ rcal^ fwcere. Now, do ye think,
thefeMen of Honour (as they are pleasM to
ftile themfelves) will ever refolve to repair
a ruin'd Reputation at the Expences of their
own ? Will they fet a disjointed Fame at
their own Charge ? No, no !
Neand. Can't I reinftate a Man in the jult
Poflenionof his Honour, without forfeiting
ray own ? Exprefs your Mind clearer, 1
conceive not what you would be at.
Eiiftb, Detraction is a Sin againft Juftice,
and therefore by the Laws of God and Na-
ture the Offender lies under an indifpenfable
Obligation of indemnifying the injured Per-
foa. Non remit titnr feccatum^ dotiec rejlitua-
tur
120 A Gentleman inJtrH&ed, &c.
tnr ahUtHm. Now the Detrador rifles his
Neighbour's Honour, he blafls his Reputa-
tion, he muft therefore make good the Lofs ^
and as the Tongue is guilty of the Theft, fo
it muft make Satisfaftion. For the Wounds
of Honour are only heal'd by the Inftrument
that made 'em. The Criminal muft acknow-
ledge his Fault, he muft confefs that Paflion
run away with his Reafon •, that Malice car-
ried him beyond his Duty, and Truth alFo ;
that what he laid to his Neighbour's Charge,
was hatch'd in his own Brain, or taken up-
on Credit ^ and if a bare Afleveration will
not do the Work, he muft back his Confef-
lion with an Oath.
Neand. This is fevere : What muft a Gen-
tleman give himfelf the Lye ? Flefh and
Blood cannot pra&ice fuch rigorous Morals ^
the Remedy is worfe than the Difeafe •, and
if your Cafuiftry be Orthodox, it's eafier for
a Camel to pafs through the Eye of a Nee-
dle, than for a Detractor to enter into Hea-
ven.
Etifcb. Under Favour, Neander^ the leaft
Sin is a greater Evil^ than the greateft Infa-
my i and I hold it much more eafie to blufli
for an Afperfion, than to burn for it eter-
nally.
Neand. Don't Men charge up to the Ca-
non's Mouth, to gain Honour, and leave
their
AGtntkmm injlruSed^ Scc. 17 1
their Bodies in the Breach to be carried off
with Applaufe ? Nay, do they not often-
times march up to the Out-works of Hell,
to maintain their purchafed Reputation?
Can you therefore think that thofe Bravoes^
who tremble more at the Shadow of a Dif-
grace, than at all the Terrors of Damna-
tion, will buy Pardon at the Expence of their
Honour ?
Eiifeh. The Queftion (Dear Neander') is
not what Men do, nor what Men will do,
but what they fhould do. Were Praftice
the Standard of Duty, we might reform the
Gofpel, as well as the Calendar ^ we might
turn thofe Woes God has pronounced a-
gainft Injuilice, Drunkennefs, and Whore-
dom, upon Jufticc, Sobriety and Charity :
For it's certain thefe Virtues are invifible in
Praftice, and thofe Vices are too too fafhio-
nable. But, Neander^ though Curtom and
Pradlice may enhance Guilt, they cannot
lelTen it.
Men are fond of Honour to Madnefs and
Frenzy. It's a mil me tangere •, the leaft At-
tempt upon this darling Folly is often re-
venged with Murder. But then, methinks,
the Inclination we have to conferve our own
Fame, fhould infpire fome Tendernefs for
that of our Neighbour. For have we not
Rcafon to fuppofe, he is no lefs acquainted
G with
122 A Gentleman injiru&ed^ &c.
with the Value of this ineftimable Treafure,
than our felves, and that he would be as un-
willing to expofe it to the Mercy of petulant
Tongues ? Perchance, Neander^ I rate it to
the Height of its Worth, yet I give God's
Favour the Preference : One Grain of his
DivineGrace out- weighs aTun of aHeftor's
Reputation. In a Word, I would live an
Age under the Stroaks of the mofl: picquant
Difgrace, I would (heath in my Breaft all
the Darts of Malice, Envy and Poverty, ei-
ther to die innocent, or repentant j for all
thefe Miferies are fleeting and tranfitory •,
but the Reward of Virtue, and the Punifti-
ment of Vice are both eternal. If therefore
your Men of Honour will rather ftand by
their Crimes, than recant, 1 would have
^eni trained up in the Difcipline of Bedlam :
A Switch is the belt Remedy againft Mad-
nefs.
Befides, why is an humble Confeffion a
degrading Satisfaftion? The Name of a
Chriflian is glorious \ how then can the Du-
ty lie under Reproach? If the Profeffion
be honourable, the Pradice of it cannot be
fhameful. Why then do we tremble at Sha-
dows, and run from Monfters that take their
Deformity from Imagination ?
I did not blufh to wound my ^Neighbour's
good Name •, why Piiould I be alhamed to
heal
A GefJtleman injiru^ed^ 8cc. 123
heBl it ? Sia fhould be waited on by Infamy,
as it is by Remorfe ^ and Repentance fhould
be accompanied by Glory -, but by a Strange
legerdemain the Devil has turn'd the Tables,
and attacked Shame to this, and Impudence
to that : But however. Repentance is an ho-
neft Aft i it's worthy of a Man, and the in-
difpenfable Duty of a Chriftian j why then
fhould it fear a Witnefs? The Difference
between good and ill Men lies not in the E-
fleem of Virtue, b«tinthePraaice; for both
equally value it. But the firft only pofTefs
it, becaufe the others will not go to the
Charge of procuring it.
Neand. Pray is not Fear a clownifh Vice ?
a female Weaknefs ? Does it not fit ungen-
teely on Quality ? Now what can bring a
Gentleman to the Bar, and clap him on his
Knees, with a Pray forgive me in his Mouth,
but this mean PafTion ? ^
Enfeb. You are miftaken •, Cowardice and
Fear are neither Synonimous in Philofophy,
nor Morals: That is always a Vice, this is
often a Virtue. When Prudence commands
Fear, Boldnefs is Temerity and Folly : It's
Cowardice to defpond and link under a Dan-
ger, that Valour can fubdue \ but it's Rafli-
nefs to engage v/ith one above the Strength
of humane Force. Has then a Gentleman
Kiefs Courage, becaufe he trembles at thcim-
^ G 2 partial
1^4 -^ Gentleman inflm&ed^ 8cc.
Partial Juftice of an enraged Deity ? becaufe
^e dares not wreftle with the Omnipotent,
Or ftand the Shock of his Fury f becaufe he'll
rather repent than die in Obflinacy ? and
rather return to his Duty, than fuffcr eter-
nally for tranfgreiring it ? Neander^ let not
the wild Notions of our pretended Gentle*
men be your Guides ^ their Principles are as
corrupt as their Praftice, and their Reafon
is as bad as their Confcience.
Neand. Are you not a Member of the
Port-Royal Club ?
Enfeh, Why do you ask this Queftion?
Neand. I am told they are mighty Patrons
de la morale fevere *, they preach up Rigour
to luch an ex|orbitantHeigth,thatone would
think God's great Prerogative Mercy was ei-
ther wore out, or extinft. Your Morals
have a Flavour of Rigorifm ^ they are fower^
morofe^ ill-^natHr^d^ and call for a Dram of
Charity. For look ye, Sir, Detraflion
( as the World goes ) is no Phantom, it's
a very real thing, and keeps good Compa-
ny* : This alone pours Life into Converfati-
on ^ it quickens Difcourfe ^ without it
Mirth would languifh, and good Humour
fleep. I have feen your Sevemh-form Wits,
as mute, (as if their Mouths were padlock'd)
when any feriousand innocent Subjeft came
in their Way i but when their Neighbours
Conduft ,
A Gentleman injlruSfed^ &c. 125
Conduft was brought before 'em, their
Tongues run before their Confcience v#they
would take his Life in Pieces, they would
rip up his Breaft, difled his Thoughts, and
then draw Dcmonftrations from meer Con-
jeftures \ they would hand his Reputation
about the Table, till it fell to the Ground,
and blow over it, till it fmell as rank as the
Breath that caufed the Stench, and difgorged
the Infeftion. Notwithftanding thefe Peo-
ple hoped to be faved, without ftooping to
the Satisfaftion you fpeak of. In fhort, eve-
ry Man endeavours by Detradion and Out-
rage to undermine his Brother's Fame, and
no Man fo much as thinks of repairing it.
Nay, I never heard the Clergy recommend
it to dying Perfons as a Duty \ but either as
an Aft of Decency, or of Edification. Can
I fuppofe, you are better informed of a ftrift
Obligation than the Minifiry ^ or better
vers'd in Cafuiftry than Divines ? Eujehins^
let us damn no Body.
Enfeb. I remember when ftigraatized Vil-
lains with Narratives and Difcoveries Jibel-
led honeft Patriots into Newgate^ and cut off
their Honours and Lives with Fears and Jea-
loufies ; when they fowed the Innocent in
Bear-Skins, and then fet all the Beagles of
the Faftion about their Ears j when they
profaned Old Bailies with Perjuries, any
G 3 butcheredd
176 A Gentleman injlru^ed^ See.
butchered their Fellow -Subjea's Fame at the
Bir, to quarter their Bodies' at fyhnrn.
The{^ Knights of the Pofl: flung not up, I
fappofe, their Pretenfions to Heaven : Tho'
I have not feen any Recantation. Yet I am
fure, unlefs God nulls all the Laws of Na-
ture, 2nd calls in the Gofpel, or iflues out
tinder his great Seal an Ammjiy^ they'll fall
mon of their Expeftation.
^ I confefs, this Difeafe of the Tongue is
Epidemical -^ the life of Speech has fo fwer-
ved from its Original Inftitution, that it's
become an Incumbrance and a Snare to Man-
kind. I look upon the Faculty rather as a
Penalty than a Prerogative ; and were we
devefted of it, though you (hould be unfit
for Converfation, we might hope to be
more innocent. Now^ whether our Calumni-
ators hope to be faved, is a Qiieftion. I
am apt to believe their Religion and Con-
fcience are of a Peice,and that they confine
their Fears^ Hope, and Defires within the
Compafs of this World : For certainly, the
Dread of eternal Fire might cool their Pafli-'
oiis, and check their Malice. Were they
perfuaded of another World, would they
not fall with more Scruple, and rife with
more Vigour ? But if they hope for Salvati-
on without Satisfa that
either to refpeft or honour another, is to
invade his Property, and tofetagainll him
an uru!{)ing Competitor. Hence he runs in
Quell of a Foil, to make his own Perfecti-
ons appear more gawdy, and fparkle with
more Eckt. Now what can give a more
charming
A Gentleman injlru&^d^ &c. 1 29
charming Turn to his fuppofed Talent, than
his Rival's Folly ? Hence he rallies up ia a
Body all the Auxiliary Forces of Anger and
Revenge •, he takes the Field, and maraudes
upon his Fame ^ he difTecls the poor Crea-
ture's AAions, and expofes the whole Ana-
tomy of his private Tranfgrefiions to the
View and Cenfure of the Publick. For he
wifely fancies, that the Fabrick of his Vanity
will ftand unmoveable on the Ruins of a Ri-
val's Reputation. Did the Breafts of the
proud and haughty-minded Men lie open to
Sight -, could we rifle all the abftrufe and
dark Recelfes of their Hearts, what Sallies of
Joy (hould we difcover at the moft innocent
Overfights.of a Competitor? And then,
whoever crows within at the Misfortune,
will proclaim it at the firfl: Occalion : For
Joy, like Grief, is a ftifling Humour, nnlefs
it throws ofFthe Opprefiion.
If therefore you defire to fpeak ill of no
Body, think not too well of your felf ^ fet
not too exorbitant a Price upon your Merits •,
remember you are no Phoenix, the only indi-
vidual of your Species \ thofe Qiialities you
poifefs are meer Gratuities, the EfTcdh of'
God's Liberality, not of your Defer ts ^ you
had no Right to be, much lefs to be great
beautiful, or rich. Is it not a Madnefs there^
fore for you who can lay Claim to notbine.-
G 5 . tOY'
130 A Gent tern an injirn^ed^ &c.
to engrofs all the Gifts of Nature and For-
tune? Think not, God has exhaufted his
Treafury on you alone-, hefcatters his Fa-
vours where he pleafes; and if he provides
more plentifully for your Neighbour, than
for you, why do you complain f Mufl you
be evil becaufe God is good ? Mufl you cafl;
a malicious Glance on another, becaufe he
has received fome Marks of his great Ma-
ker's Kindnefs ? Difcompofe not your
Thoughts for other Peoples Advantages,
but enioy your own with Thankfulnefs. Fix
jufl Bounds to your DefireSjas well as to your
Undertakings^ otherways youll reer up ima-
ginary Caftles of Greatnefs^ to create to
your felf a real Torment.
But if you will contend for aa honourable
Poft, manage the Conteft fairly \ pulh on
your Pretenfions with Virtue and Generofi-
ty. Let Merit bear away the Prize, not
outrage, and if your Rival carry off the
Advantage; rather applaud the Gonquefty
than revile him. By lefTening his Parts or
Conduft you burlefque your own ; but thea
if you complain, and curfe in a Corner, you
only betray yonr Impotence, ill Nature, and
Impiety: In fine, look at your Failings and his
through the fame Glafs, and you'll fee an
humbling Spedacle i^ you'll behold fo many
Objefts worthy of Blame, that you'll have
Bo greai Stomach to ceafure others. Ea-
AGefsdeman infirn[ied^ &C. 131
Envy isthefecond Source of Detraftion.
This is an ill-natur'd Vice, it loves 111 for
Iirs fake, and takes Pleafure in Torment j
it's a kind of Turn-key by Birth, and an Exe-
cutioner by Profeflioni it feeds on Stench,
and fucks Rats-bane from Balms, and Infefti-
on from Perfumes-, it never does a good
Turn, but when it defignsanill one-, and
feldom takes things by the right Handle 5,
Mifchief makes up its Employment, Plagues
and Famines its Diverfion-, its Smiles are like
blazing Comets, which either hatch Trea-
fon, or* portend it. What Wonder, if a
Man poflefs^d by this Fiend Plays the Devil,
who is Surnamed Accnfator Fratrum f
But though any Mifchief lies within the
Reach of an envious Man's Wilh, many are
removed out of the Verge of his Power :
Some move too high to be (hot at,, others
too low i but neither Place nor Station is a
fofiicient Fence againfl the Tongue. A
Dwarf may engage with aGyantatthis Wea-
pon, or a Clown with a Lord. And for this
Reafon' when the envious Man can't come
at his Antagonill's Perfon, he fets upon his^
good Name, and falls foulupon his Honour ^
and when by the Help of keen Satyr and
falfe Glalfes? he has beat down the Outworks
that fenced his Fortune from Infult and Ruin^
he draws his Cannoa nearer, andraifes Bat^
te.ries>
t^2 A Gentleman injlrH&ed] &c.
teries againft his Grandure and Eftate that
fapport it : For he knows that the bell built
Fortune can't be ftable, when Reputation
(that propt it) is removed. Thus we fee
Socrates kept hh Gvoimd^ and even triumph-
ed over the Calumnies of his Accufers^
whilft his Reputation interpofed. But when
a buffooning Comedian drollM him into Con-
tempt, he appeared no lefs guilty before the
Judges, than defpicable on the Stage. So
that in Conclufion Envy found him guilty,
and the Senate pronounced the Sentence,
Methinks it's fuperfluous to difluade a
Man from this Vice. Interell is more pow-
erful thanReafon. We dote on Pleafure,
and run from Pain by the Inftinft of Nature.
Who will not rather chufe a Prifon with Sa-
tisfadion, than a Palace with Torment ? But
an envious Man, inftead of following the
Currentof Nature, bears up againft it. He
labours for Labour's fake, and drudges for
the meer Expedation of Mifery. He leads
the Life of Caw^ haunted with the Speftres
of his own Crimes from within, and with a
thoufand Jealoufies from abroad ; other
Peoples Happinefs creates his Torments ^
their Profperity gnaws his Entrails, and his
Impotence, to over-cafl: the Sunlhine of their
good Fortune, claps him on the Wheel.
Now a Man that can fall in Love with Pain^
and:
A Gentleman injlrnlied^ &C. 1 35
and court Difquiet, mufl not be call in the
fame Mould, that other Mortals are : And
therefore I Ihould think it as eafie to difluade
People from Envy, as from vaulting down
a Precipice,
But befides, a Man that envies others, is
always paid in the fame Coin ^ his Honour
will be as roughly handled •, when one con-
tells with Multitudes, he Hands on the low-
er Ground, and fights at a Difadvantage,
This is the envious Man's Cafe. For he can't
but know the difingenuous Defcantsono-
thers Aftions will reach the Ears af the Of-
fended Perfons. Defaming Reports have
a miraculous Sympathy with thofe thatDi-
ftance of Place is notable to dead the Eccho j
they rebound from Tongue to Tongue, are
toflcd from Hand to Hand, till they come to
the Knowledge of the Injured ^ and general-
ly (like Snow-Balls ) they encreafe in the
journey. What a grating Noife then will
they make in the Ears of the defamed Per-
fon ? Will not he think of Reprifals ? Will
he not treat your Honour with as little
Regard as you have his? and God fend fuch aa
eafie Satisfaftion may affwage his Refentment,
When Men fit Judges in their own Gaufe^
they make the Bills of Lofies and Damage
rifC' high ^ who knows but they may de-
mand.
134 ^ Gmtleman inflrn d^ed^ &c.
mand Blood, and facrifice your Life to the
Manes of their murderM Reputation ?
In fine, Nea^der^ remember you muft die.
When Death hath fealed your Eyes, you'll
find all the Darts of the Tongue fliot at your
Neighbour, ftick in your own Soul j you'll
feel the Smart, but will find no Lenitive, no
Cure : Why then Ihall we run headlong into
thofe Crimes we muft either deplore here,
or burn for hereafter ? Let us look before
us, and not like Beafts follow the meer Im-
preflions of PaflTion. Let us Ihow we areMen,
not by our Vices, but by our Virtues. To
have Reafon, and ad againft it, is to debafe
our Species.
IV.
As God has fenced our Neighbour's Fame,
fo he has been careful to guard Jbis Pofleflions
againft all the Attempts of Avarice and In-
juftice. Non /nraberisj fays he in the Deca-
logue, ThoHJkdtmtfteal'^ and then he threa-
tens the Criminal with the Sentence of his
high Difpleafure, unlefs he cancels the
Tranfgrefllon with a fincere Repentance.
I apprehend , Neander , fome Gentlemen
miftake this Command : They fancy it
reaches only Pads, Cut-purfes, or High-
way-men: Bat this is a Miftake; it takes in
all w=ho ad againft the Laws of Juftice jand
for
A Gentleman infirH&ed, &c. 155
for this Reafon I fear, that many who hang
at Tyburn, ar-e often lefs Criminal, than
fome of thofe who ftand Speftators of the
Tragedy, or perchance who fate on the
Bench. For in all Kingdoms, Laws are (as
5/^;7 faidj like Cobwebs, that hamper fmall
Flies,whilfl: the greater break thorough 'em.
Poor People bear the Punifhment of Injuftice,
and great ones carry off in Triumph both
Plealure and Profit. Thefe are too big for
Execution, though not for Guilt. They can
fue for an indigent Neighbour's Field, be-
^canfe it lies conveniently, and perfuade the
Judges they have more Right, becaufe they
have more Mony and Credit. TheLuftre
of Gold often dalles Lawyers out of Confci-
ence, and juft PofTeflbrs out of Lordfhips.
Sight ebbs and flows by the fecret Influ-
ence of 6'///>^/iV. For let me tell you, Ne^
ander^ the Juftice of a Caufe fprouts up, ajid
thrives miraculoufly under a Fee.
But though thefe Men carry the Suit in the
Eyes of the World, they lofe it at God's
high Court of Juftice, and their Souls alfo ;
nor is there any Difference between thefe
Over-reachers andCut-purfes ^ but that they
are ten times more CriminaL Among the
Laceddmomans a clearer Theft Pafs'd for a
Virtue. Are not fome Chriftians of the
lame Peifualioa? Butfor all that, though a
StfartAn
1^6 A Gentleman injlrH&ed^ &c.
5p^rf^?? Jury might PoflTibly find 'em mtgml-
ty^ they'll find no fuch Indulgence in the Vale
of Jehofaphat.
I never yet underftood, how SoUicitati-
ons, and Recommendatious of Caufes to the
Judges, how double and tripk Fees could be
well reconciled with this Law, Thonjlmlt not
fteal: For either you doubt of the Integrity
of the Bench, or you do not. If the firft,
you caft a Scandal on theFace of the Govern-
ment J you arraign either theCapacity or the
Integrity of the Prince j i, e. you fufpeft he
wants Judgment in the Choice of Magi-
ft rates, or has advanced on Pu rpofe thofe w ho
would betray the Propriety of the Subjed.
Nowfuch an /^7;///^^^t? is difrefpeftful, rafliV
and highly unchriflian.
Butbefides, if really you doubt of the
Judge's Integrity, your Condud is foolifh.
For if a Judge will fell afavoarable Sentence
to the Plaintif, he'll be no lefs kind to the
Defendant, if he out-bids him. A Man then
fhould be firft fure of Succefs, before he
parts with his Mony, otherwife he will be
gulled out of his Preteniions,and pay for his
Difappointment.
Again this Pradtice runs quite counter to
all the Didates of Confcience and Juftice.
For if Gain and Intereft be a Magiftrate's
weak fidcj if I know he meafurcs Right by
the
A Gentleman infiru^edy & C. 157
the Weight of Silver, and barters Law for
Mony, can I pamper his Inclinatioa ? or feed
his corrupt Appetite ? or ftrike in with his
finful Diftemper ? No more, certainly,
than I can with a fafe Confcience pufh him
down a Precipice ^ for if it be a Sin to per-
mit one, when lean hinder it, is it not a
Sin to perfaade a Crime ? nay, to buy .one ?
If the fecond •, i, e. If you fuppofe your
Bufmefs lies in the Hands of upright Men,
that fquare their Verdids by the Laws, not
by Partiality and Favour, why are you eter-
nally upon the Hoof? why do you tire them
and your felf too with tedious Applications ?
VVhy do you drain your Pockets to enrich
Pettifoggers and Attornies ^ This Trouble is
fuperfluous, and the Expence unneedful. In
a A^ord, Sir, the Conduft is either unprofi-
table or unjuft.
But if you doubt in your Caufe, let it fall,
at lead pufh it on no farther, with your Cre-
dit or Purfe;, for all you can exped, is to
gain a Sute, and lofe your Soul.
Neandcr, If 1 can juggle a Neighbour out of
anErtate by Q]jirks of Law, and by a gentile
Turn of the Hand buble him out of a coafide-
rable Sum, may I not put him to graze upon
the Common, without any Obligation to
reflore ?
Eufek*
138 A Gentleman inflm&ed^ &c.
Etifeb. The very Queflion is a Scandal not
only to Chriftianity, but to humane Nature •,
you are obliged not only to return the Capi-
tal, but to Indemnifie him for all the Loiles
confequent thereto.
Neand. Nay, Sir, I am of your Opinion %
for why fhould a Man gain by his Crimes ?
Yet once I fell into the Company of a Man of
parts, of Charafter and Repute in his Coun-
try, who thought otherwife of the Matter :
We difcours'd thePoint, yet I could never get
iiim over to my Opinion : He held fo faft to
Non-reftitution, that there v/as no nfioving
him. A hearty Repentance, (faid he) without
Reftitution, makes a fufficient Attonement
for the Offence. He told me I was unskiil'd
in Cafuiftry. I confefs'd 1 had read no Ca-
fuift but the Bible and Nature.
Eufeb. With SubmiflTion to the Gentle-
man's Charafter, Parts and Station •, he was
either a great Fool, or a fuperlative Knave,
fit for Bedlam, or Newgate. Was he not
a Lawyer ?
Neand, He had ftudied in the Inns of
Court.
Etifeb. I thought fo. It's a healing Do-
drine for a wounded Confcience^a palata^
ble and ealie Remedy, a Catholkon for all the
Aches of the Mind, and the Gripes of an
over-charged Stomach i and perchance the
A Gentleman inflru^ed^ &C. 139
life is univerfal, otherways once at leafl: in
a Twelvemonth we might fee a Drjes tfanf-
formed into a Lazarns^ a Lord into a Laqiiayy
and a L.W^ into a Chamber-maid ^ we might
feethofewhofit Majeftically in Coaches with
along Wig, and a Snuff-Box ^ /-^ ^^'^^ fit
behind 'em. Good God! how many gaw-
dy Birds would make as naked a Figure as the
Daw in the Fable, it their Peacock Plumes
were returned to their Owners. Neander^
pray tell that Gentleman 1 am neither fatis-.
lied with his Confcience nor his Skill •, he
that will not reftore ftolen Goods, is more
criminal, than him that conceals 'em ^ and
he that will keep an ill-purchafed Eftate ia
Spightof Juftice, will feize on the next that
lies in his way, and then how can he under-
ftand Cool and Littleton^ who can't read the
very Alphabet of Nature ? A hearty Re-
pentance without Reftitution is a Dream.
Dear Neander^ never raife the Pile of a
great Fortune on a Bottom of Fraud and In ju-
ftice-, it's an unftable Foundation, and un-
able to bear the monftrous Weight of Grimes,
they crufh in a Moment the bell built Stru-
fture, and entomb the Criminal, together
with all his Grandure, under the Ruins of
his towering Babel, The Triumphs of un-
jufl Men are always fhort lived. God takes
Pleafurein ftrangling 'em in the very Cra-
dle
140 A Gentleman injiru&ed^ &c.
die i they pafs like Lightening and leave no-
thing behind but Smoak and Vapor : their
Fall is no lefs amazing than their Rife ; they
pafs off like Phantoms, or elfe live in
Penury and Contempt,or die like Reprobates-,
they carry the moil legible Marks of God's
Malediaionitampton their Foreheads, and
tear almoft all Men without being pitied by
any j fo that Divine Vengeance begins their
Torments in this WorW to continue 'em
eternally in the other.
I'll not follow this crying Vice through its
Branches, nor make an entire Difledion of
all its Parts ^ it runs through all the Veins of
Commerce, and almoft Converfation ^ it's
found in Play, as well as in Contrafts, and
is no more innocent under one Shape, than
under an other •, you may call it Overreach-
ing, or Outwitting, if you Pleafe, but the
Change of Names makes no Alteration of
the Thing: Natures depend not on F^^ncy
or Caprice, they are the fame in Spight of
Cuftom and Difguife.
V.
I mud now caution you againft Lewdnefs.
It's a noifom Employment to grope in Pu-
dles, and to dig in Mack. And therefore
ru only skim the Surface, and let the offen-
five
A Gentleman infiru&ed^ 8cc. 141
five Dreggs lie at the Bottom. You know
God has enafted this Law in the Decalogue,
Thoiijhalt not commit Adultery : This Precept
does not onely reftrain Afts of Lewd-
nefs, but even Thoughts and Defires : For
Impurity in Idea draws after it a real Hell;
the Smoak that vanifhes in a Moment, kin-
dles an eternal Fire.
Neand. I fuppofe neither Gentlemen of
the Court, nor Officers of the Army, come
within the Compafs of this Prohibition. God
furely and Nature have iflued out in their
Favour a Patent of Exemption.
Eufeb. Truly, Neander^ I never read that
either God or Nature had fuch a Deference
for the Court and Army, or fo great a Re-
fpeft for Quality. Why, Man, let our
Courtiers be as great as Alexander^ and our
Soldiers as valiant ; there fits a more Au-
guft, and a more powerful Mafter above,
whofe Commands they mult obey, or fmart
for the Tranfgreffion.TheSword has noPrivi-
lege above the Plow, nor has Quality any
Right above Peafantry, but to greater Tor-
ments : Potentes patenter torment a patientur.
JSteand, If it be fo, our Gentlemen and
Souldiers are all (truck with a Lunacy. They
feem to have entred into an AUbdation a-
gainlt Divine Authority, and endeavour by
Praftice to repeal the Statute 3 as if God's
Laws
142 A Gentleman injirn&edy &c.
Laws could ceafe per defnetHdinenty as well as
human. When St. Vad bids every Man take
uxorem^ if he meant a Mifs^ the Counfel is
followed even to a Scruple i but if he did not,
our Conduct is fcandalous to Impudence, and
God'sAuthority is flighted beyondContempt
and Infolence.
Enfeb. The Evil lies deep, and the Difeafe
reaches to the Lands End j few are clear of
the Infedion •, Lewdnefs is no more a Diver-
fion i no, it's become the grand Bufinefs,
the Employment of Mankind •, nay, it's im-
proved to Science alfo j Love Intrigues turn
on Method, and are carried on by Demon-
ftration : So that Attempts upon Chaftity
come off generally with Succefs. For Wo-
men in our Age are as 111 furnilh'd for Re-
liflance, as an old Spanijh Town for a Siege.
But then the Dons, when forc'd to furren-
der, article for their Honour : This they'll
bring off^ though the Town ftay behind in
the Hands of the Conquerors. But our fe-
maleDefendants ftand not upon fuch Niceties;
they deliver up their Modefty, and go off
with Ignominy : Confufion I will not fay ; for
Blulhes are out of Fafhion, unlefs when its
a Queftion to pradice the Cbrillian Virtues
of Sobriety, Temperance, and Chaftity.
I have more than once taken a Survey of
our Gentry, and I find nine of ten ruin'd by
this
A Gentleman injiru&ed^ &c. 145
this unlucky Vice i to all Intents and Pur-
pofes, they have forfeited their Honour,
morgaged their Eftates, impaired their
Healths, their Bodies fall under the Weight
of Lewdnefs, their Purfes are fcarce able to
fupport it. So that if thefe Young Sparks
would take the Pains to caft up their Ac-
counts, they would find their Pleafures have
brought 'em in no other Profit but Poverty,
Difeafes, and more than oneCaufe of Repen-
tance. Good God ! why muft Appetite have
fuch a ftrange Afcendant over Reafon ? why
muIlMan thus tranfgrefs the End of Creation?
Appetite was made to obey, Reafon to com-
mand. To change their Offices is to throw
down the Enclofure between Man and Beaft.
Is it not a Madnefs to fell this Prerogative
for a petty Satisfaftion ? that like the Book
of the Afocalyfs leave a fweet Flavour in the
Mouth, and Bitternefs in the Heart ? But
fuppofe Man will enjoy Pleafure, is nothing
palatable but Dirt and Mire? muft he turn
Goat or Baboon before he can be pleafed ?
Certainly, he is enamour'd of their Nature ;
he dotes fo much on their Paftimes ^ and I
am apt to believe he would range on their
Hills, or fport on their Trees among a Herd
of Females.
But take all together, I fear the Pleafure
does not come up to Expeftation, The Gall
out-
144 ^ Gentleman inflrudicd^ &c.
out- weighs the Hony. For let us fuppofe, a
Man pofiTefs'd by the unclean Devil of brutifli
Love, he lodges all the Torments of the
Damned in his Heart, and, what is worfe,
theirGuilt •, hefhiversand burns, he hopes
and defpairs, he dreams in Company, and
talks in Solitude ; all the Features of his be-
lo'J'ed Objedt meet in his Imagination to
wound his Heart, and turn the Idol he adores
into a Devil to lafh him j his Fears keep
Pace with his Fondnefs, and Jealoufie treads
on the Heels of both, and all confpire to
make him wretched. For though Love looks
pleafing and pretty in Romance, in Life it's
Monfter, Tyrant and Fury.
A Lover knows, that a Woman, who has
withdrawn her Fidelity from God, will for-
fake a Gallant at the leaft Profpcd of Ad-
vantage. Hence Difquiet feizes on the Brain,
and Jealoufie rifes from Hell, to clap him on
the Torture •, like the Devil in the Gofpel,
it fometimes flings him into the Water, fome-
times into the Fire ^ he watches his Treafure
with the Eyes of an Araus^ and lays a hundred
Amlufcades to find his Mifery, and her Infi-
delity •, fo that, though Wfs be faithful,
Monfieur is fure to be miferable.
I fay nothing here of Averfion, Hatred,
En*vy, and a thoufand other Vipers, that
worry his Heart and prey upon bis Vitals,
In
A Gentlemm inflrn&ed^ Scc. 145
Infliort, inabefotted Lover alone are cen-
tred all the Frenzies and Follies of Bedlam,
but thatof Mirth. So that Envy can fcarce
wifh him more unhappy, nor Malice render
him more unfortunate : But if the Intrigue
be carried with a Perfon of anunfpotted Re-
putation, and who ftands fair in the Opinioa
of the World, nay, and who perchance fets
up for a Liicretia and Fefial^ What Endea-
vours are made to court incognito ? and to
play out of Sight ? But if after all, the Sla
quickens in her Womb, and that withiri nine
Months fhe be in Danger to fall into Fits of
the Mother \ what Pangs^ what Throws,
what Convulfions tear this poor Creature's
Breafl? and her Gallant's too ? In how lively
Shapes does Imagination paint her Folly !
She differs all the Torments of Child-birth at
the very Inftant of Conception ^ befides thofe
of Rage, ofDefpair, and Confufion, and in
the End perchance refolves to conceal one
Sin by the Help of another ^ /. e. Lewdnefs
by Murder ^ and thus a poor Innocent, who
came into the World by a lefs Sin, is fean
out of it by a greater ^ and then in all Proba-
bility the Tragedy that begun at Midnight
in Darknefs and Privacy, often ends at Mid-
day on a Scaffold. Mud not therefore one
be void of Reafon to take a petty Pleafure in
Hand, with fuch a Crowd of Troubles in
H Re-
1 4^ A Gentleman infiruBed^ &c.
Reverfion ? Ought we not to fence againfl: a
Vice, fo charming on the one Hand, and fo
imeafie on the other ?
Neand. What are the beft Prefervatives a-
gainft this Epidemical Diftemper ?
Enfeh. Take this as a Principle, that
Chaftity is a Gift of God •, and therefore im-
plore continually his Divine Affiftance ; re-
ly on his Grace, not on your Force ^ and if
you be fo happy, as not to fall, give him the
Glory of the Triumph, and believe, that
whofoever prefumes on his own Valour, has
already meafured half the Precipice : God
protefts the Humble, and liumbles the Proud.
Secondly^ Keep Love at a Diftance, or it
will fur prize you •, when once it has ftormed
the Heart, it forces Reafon to furrender ^
and when Appetite commands, whenPaflion
domineers, what can be expected but Brutal-
ity ? Lock up the Gates of your Senfes, and,
as in Frontier-Towns, examine the Palfen-
gers. Love, like a Proteus^ borrows all
Shapes, and makes its Approaches at all Sea-
fons,^ fo that you mull ftand upon your
Guard, if you intend to avoid a Surprize;
and if you can keep this Traitor at Arm's-
length, Lewdnefs will neither have the Face,
nor find the Opportunity to aflail you. But
if you admit this Tyrant, if you lodge him
in your Breaft, you will have Caufe to de-
plore
A Gefttlewan inJiruSfed^ &c. 147
plore your Slavery, aad perchance eternal-
ly. For in a Word, Love, like a Viper, eats
into the Heart, that warms it, and returns
Death for the Favour.
Thirdly^ Flight is the beft Defence, the
mofl: fecure Rampart againft the Darts of
Lafcivioufnefs •, you may as well hope to
freeze in Fire, as to converfe innocently ia
the midfl: of Occafions. I am of Teniillian\
Opinion, that it's eaiier to die for Chaftity,
(as the World goes) than to live with it in
Balls^ Fifits and Entertainments, And I look
upon it as a certain Truth, that many of the
Sex, who have furrenderM their Honour to
the Flatteries, Importunities, and Dalliances
of Gallants, would have refufed it to tfa«
Cruelty of Hang-men.
Enter not therefore into the TUy^Houfe-^
it's the Palace of Afmod^us^ the Seat of Lewd-
nefs, the Nurfery of Debauchery. It's with
us as the Fornkes were at Rome^ only with
this Difference, that thofe Grimes are
learn'd, contriv'd, and refolvM on here, the
Romans aftually committed under the black
Shade of thofe infernal Vaults. For my part
I am of Opinion, that a Chriftian cannot with
a fafer Gonfciencc enter into the Play-Houfe,
than into a Brothel; as things are managed
there. Temptation is ftronger on the Stage,
and more inviting. The Blacknefs of the
H 2 Vice
148 A Gentleman injir/^&ed^ &c.
Vice lies under a Difguife^ it's blanch'd over
with all the Art of Wit and Gawdry ^ fo
that nothing appears but the charming Part,
which fafcinates the Eyes, captivates the
Ears, dozes the Intelka, and fires the Paffi-
ons, and then to plain tjic Way for Action.
The Poet burlefques the Terrors of the other
World •, he paints the Devils rather like
Scharamouches to divert, than like Executi-
oners to torment : He blafphemes the Maje-
fty of God to bring him under Contempt,
and fo blunts all the Darts of Fear and Ap-
preheofion ^ and then, when Objeds draw,
when PalTions ftand prepared, and Reftraint
is removed, what can be reaibnably expect-
ed, but Proflitution ?
But befides, the Stage not only removes Fear
of Puniihment^but even rewards Debauchery :
For who are they that carry ofFApplaufeand
Fortunes but Rakes and Proftitutes ? The
Poet puts all his Wit in the Mouths of Rooks
and Bullies ^ and if an honeft Man appear,
he is fnre to be hooted at, and generally
goes off both Fool and Cuckold* Is not this
to condemn Virtue? to execute it in Effigie ?
and to canonize Vice by Deputy ? Is not this
to fay, Gentlemen and Ladies beware of
Chaflity and Virtue, they are out of Date in
our Age •, you'll forfeit four Honour by
maintaining it, and grow ridiculous, if you
continue
A Gentleman iujiru&ed^ &c. 1 49
continue innocent. The {borteft Way to
Repute, is, to drive over Confcience, to blufli
at Honefty, and praftife Incontinence. What
Virtue is Proof againft fuch murdering En-
gines ? If Hell be a Place of Diverfion, (as
the Poets endeavour to perfuade the Audi-
ence) if God be a Scare-crow, ifChaftity be
infamous, and Impurity creditable, who will
not rather be lewd with Credit, than chaft
with Reproach ? I would have both Poets
and Players enter a little into themfelvesj
they have all contributed to run down Vir-
tue and Religion, and to bring Libertinifm
and Atheifm into Fafliion. Thofe prepare
the Poifon, thefe prefent the Potion, dafht
with all the palatable Ingredients of Pomp -
and Magnificence, that it may go down with
Pleafure, and work with Efficacy. I am a-
fraid in the next World they'll beforcM to
anfwer for the Sins ofthePoetandAdors,as
well as for thofe ot the Chriftian, unlefs by
a timely Repentance, and publick Recanta-
tion,they ask Pardon of God, and Forgivenefs
of the Nation, which they have rymed al-
mofl: out of Religion, and played out of Con-
fcience.
Fourthly^ When Temptation invites, draw
up all the difmal Confequences of this
wretched Sin, and fix your Thoughts upon .
'cm. Other Crimes, like the Adder, carry
H J their
150 A Gentleman wjirn&ed^ 8cc.
their Poifon in their Head ^ this is a Scor-
pion, that licks up its Venom in its Tail.
For though then Sin be charming, it's Se-
quels ar« dreadful. The Infedion flies up to
the Brain, like the Sting of the Taramda •,
and tho' thofe that are bit by this poifonous
Infedt, can dance out the ftiipifying Hu-
mour, and may be fidled into their Wits,
the others are paft Cure •, they remain in
Spight of Homily and Exhortation, ftupid,
brutal. Without Judgment, without Honour,
ivithout Senfe, and oftentimes without Mo-
Jiy^ but never without Folly, Sighs, Jea-
loufles, Rage and Defpair.
Fifthly^ That your AfFeftions may not Ileal
abroad, nor likeButter-flies flutter from one
Objeft to another, chain 'em by Lawful
Wedlock to a Wife. I know at prefent. Ma-
trimony (thatin St. P^/vfs Days was honou-
rable) lies under no creditable Circumftan-
ces ; and we are in part obliged to the Stage-
Poets for the Afperfion. They reprefent
this Divine Inflitution under all the Re-
proaches of Slavery and Folly, and paint
both Sexes fo fcandaloufly lafcivious, that
the Charafter is enough to deter Chriftians
from the Engagement. I fuppofe thefe Gen-
tlemen are fee'd by the Stews, to Hand up for
the Improvement of their Trade i^ and for
this Reafon they labour fo heartily, to per-
fuade
A Gentleman inftrn&ed^ &c. 151
fuade People, Lawful Pleafures tafte flat and
infipid, as if the only charming Circumftance
of Pleafure were the Unlawfulnefs of the
Aftion. This Doftrine is calculated exact-
ly for the Praftice of Lucifer and his AlToci-
ates, but not forChriftians: Itfmells ofSmoak
and may iu good time heat the Preachers.
Beware of Jealoufie. A Wife is often
made faithful by not fufpefting her of Infi-
delity ^ but when without Reafon, you que-
llion her Loyalty ^ you only tempt her to be-
tray it. I have heard of a Lady,that kept her
Conjugal Vow, whillther HusbaPxd thouj^i^ht
fhe did ^ but when he accufcd her failly,
and blafted her Reputation, fiie murdered
her Innocence to revenge the Injury. Some
Women are of Opinion, there is little Diffe-
rence between being unchafV, and being
thought fo i and therefore go off with the
Satisfaction of Infidelity, as well as with the
Infamy. A thoufand, thouf^nd times hap-
py is that Couple, that by a wife Forefight
prevents thofe Misfortunes, that fpring from
Diverfityof Conftitutions and Humours, or
at lead fupport with Patience, what Pru-
dence can't avert, and fo improve Neceffity
into a Virtue.
V.
If God has blefsM you with Children,
(fays the Scripture, Trov. 7.) inftruft 'em.
H 4 God
152 A Gentleman inflru&ed^ &c.
God has ingrav'd this Law in the very Heart
of Nature, and mare than once promulg'd
it in the Bible, that Parents might be well
convinced of this grand Duty, and be per-
fiiaded to comply with it \ and yet it feems,
that no Law is lefs underftood, and more
univerfally neglefted in Pradice than this.
Some Parents, more cruel than the O-
Ihich, bring Poor Creatures into the World,
and then abandon 'em. Others, like Apes,
are 'Co fond of their Brood, they kill 'em
with Kindnefs : Thofe areguiltyof Negli-
gence, th^efe of Indulgence •, and all betray
their Duty, and by confequence their Gon-
Itience.
I have been often fcandallzM at the infup-
portable Negled of fome Parents \ they
made no Difference between their Laquays
and their Children, but that they carefs'd
thofe, and eternally tormented thefe •, they
herded with-the Grooms and Carters, and
owed all their Education to the Stable and
Kitchen j and if they fent 'em fometlmes to
School, 'twas oniy to rid the Houfe, not for
their Inftruciion. They never took the pains
to inform themfelves, whether the Mafter
was black or white? Whether religious or
impious ? A Turk or a Chriftian ? Good
God ! faid 1 to Sir N. N. what do you mean ?
You will not hire a Cook without examining
his
A Gentleman wflru&ed^ &c. 155-
his Talents, nor take a Groom without Good
Security of his Skills (yet the one is only
to fer ve the Belly, the other to curry Horfes)
and will you truft a Child to the Care of a
Man, who, for ought you know, has neither
Science nor Religion ?
Nor have I beheld with Patieuce' the do-
ting Fondnefs of others. I have feen my
Young Mafter often play the Lion in the Fa-
mily, and my tender Lady, the Mother, ap-
plaud his Infoleace,like ih^ Romans in Semca's
Days. She would embrace the Spark, when^
file fhould have chid him ^ nay, and kifs him
for thofe very things ftie fhould have whipt
him. To crofs the Child, is to ftab the Mo-
ther^ and if he whimpers, (he cries in good
Earneft -, his Pafllons grow upon him with
Age,and a foolilh Indulgence emboldens 'em ;
he asks what he pleafes, and obtains what he
demands i a refufal fets him on Fire, and
then my Young Jufiter begins to thunder :
My Lady trembles at the Tempeft (lie has
raifed ^ and inftead of laying it by a fober
Correftion, (he foolilhly augments it by a
thoufand Carefles : Hs is coach'd to Compa-
ny, to Balls, and the Play-Houfe, and muft
be Speftator of /
without fowing : Choak all Tendency of fo
1 5^ A Genileman inftru&ed^ 8cc.
early a Pride, or elfe it will grow to his Ru-
in. I blufh at the unchriftian ConduS: of
thofe Parents, who teach little Creatures^
before they can walk, to climb up to the ve-
ry Pinnacle of Honour •, who would make
'em Pages to Antichrift to be great, and
would counfel 'em to be Mahometans for the
vain Satisfaftion of feeing 'em Bafla's : When
you have furnifh'd 'em with Virtue, and
provided for their Soul,kt em think of a Set-
tlement, and aim rather at a Poft that is gen-
tile, than great : An elevated Fortune is fel-
dom obtained without vaft Crimes, and al-
ways fupported by greater.
Scccndly^ Cultivate them with thofe Arts
and Sciences that fute with their Capacity
and Condition. For thofe that have nothing
to do, do always more than they ought , and
though they are unfitfor ahandfom Occupa-
tion, they are capable of a vicious one.
Thirdly^ Give not all your Means to the El-
deft •, leaveaProvifionforall: A young Gen-
tleman that begins the World without Mony,
ends it withoutConfcience: When I muftrack
Hiy Brain to Ihe^ I have neither time nor lea-
fur e to think of /mW '^^'^//. Neceflity is the
Mother of Vice, no lefs than Abundance y
Tiiid Want is both more troublefome thanAf-
iiaencc, and equally dangerous : Befides^hovv
will you have a Gentleman pufh forward^
who
A Gentleman injlrn&ed, &C. 157
who has nothing to improve? Can heraife
a Fortune withoutTools to work with? with-
out a Fund to lay the Foundation? Poverty-
palls the molt generous Spirits; it cows In-
duftry, and cafts Refolution it felf into De-
fpair. When you have acquitted your felf of
thcfe three Points,you have done the part of a
Father i the reft you muft leave toProvidence,
who watches over its Creatures, and never
abandons thofe,who comply with theirDoty.
VI.
YourCaremuft not ftop at your Children,
let it reach your menial Servants , though
you are their Mailer, you are alfo their Fa-
ther. And for this Reafon the Romans called
Houfekeepers Panes famillas^^zt\\Qv% of the
Houlhold. Befides, as a Chriftian you are
their Brother, and have the Church of Chrift
for your Common Mother ; all thefe Relati-
ons deferve a Tendernefs on the one fide,
and on the other impofe an Obligation on
you to enquire into their Behaviour, and to
provide for their Inftruftion ; don't fo over-
charge *env with Labour, that they can find
no time for God. You can't exaft fo continual
a Service, nor is it in their power to comply
with you. They owe more Obedience to
God than to- you •, and you tranfgrefs your
Djty, when your Coinnnands crofs upon his.
Nor is it fuflicieat to allow 'cm time to look
iato
158 J Gentleman^inftru&ed^ &c.
into the Concerns of their Souls, you muft
fee they imploy it well : Let em meet at
Prayers at leaft once a Day, and punifli thofe
that negleft this Duty. Suffer not in your
Houfe a Debauchee, though never fo ufeful.
Who is a Traitor to his Maker, will betray
a Matter at the firfl: Occafion. A Man without
Confcience is always without Honefty. Be-
lides, Lewdnefs and Knavery are catching,
and one infeded Perfon fuffices to fcatter the
Contagion. Take this for a Principle. The
more you take to Heart God's Intereft, the
more he'll take Care of yours*, he'll crown
your Enterprizes with Succefs, or raife your
Soul above the Stroak of Misfortune. In fine,
you'll either enjoy Profperity withaChriftian
Moderation, or bearAdverfity withPleafure.
VII.
Confine not Charity within the Walls of
your ownHoufe, noremploy it wholly about
the Spiritual Good of your Neighbour ^ let
the Body feel the EfFefts of its Tendernefs,
as well as the Soul. When he groans under
the Pangs of Poverty,and ftruggles withNe-
cefiity, relieve his Indigence out of your own
Store- Houfe-, let the Meafureof your Cha-
rity be the Extent of your Ability and of
his Want : What you lay out on the Poor,
is not fpent, but put to Intereft ^ God is
Security for the Reimburfcment^ fo that the
A Gentleman injlruBed^ &c. 159
Payment is infallible. I have feen fome Gen-
tlemen open-handed enough, but then they
difperfed their Charities withfounhandfomc
a Grace, that, methought, they did ill in
doing good, and refafed an Alms whilft
they gave one •, they feem'd to infult over a
poor Creature's Mifery, and feldom open'd
their Purfe, till they had vented their Gall.
This is not to relieve the Indigent, but to
throw Shame upon Want, and Confufion up-
on Neceffity ^ it's to hang Weight to their
Burthen,and to fret Poverty with Contempt :
Befides, it lofes the very Nature of Alms ;
for that is not received gratis^ that is pur-
chafed with Blufhes, and at the Expence of
Patience. A companionate Look oftentimes
refrefhes more, than a Crown with a fevere
one. And (methinks) I had rather be fent
away with a civil Gcd be withyou^ than be en-
tcrtaind with Peevifhnefs and ill Nature.
A fmall Favour well timed becomes confide-
rable : The very manner of giving adds to
the Gift. Keep not therefore the Poor
at a Bay, nor rack 'em with Queftions -, to
what Purpofe do thefe Preliminaries ferve,
. but either to feed your Curiofity,or to fpend
a fretting Humour ? We are of the fame
Nature •, our Bodies are made of the fame
Clay, and our Souls by the fame Hand. The
Difference between the Rich and Poor comes
not
l6o A Gentleman inflm&ed^ &c.
not from Nature or Merit, but from the Or-
dination of Providence. Some are born to no
other Eftate then that of their BrethrensCha- >
rity, that they may praQife Patience , and o-
thers to Abundance, that they may exercife
Charity ', fo that the Virtue of thefe ftand in-
debted to the Mifery of thofe^ and theGiver
is no lefs obllgM than the Receiver.
VIII.
Begin to praftife the Virtues of a Chri-
ftain betimes ^ accuftom your Palate to 'em
before you have tailed Vice, they'll relifli
better i a fmall Refolution plains the Way
to Heaven in the Beginning, and turns God-
linefsinto Pleafure ^ but if you ftay till Sins
have flufht the Paffions, and (harpen'd Appe-
tite, nothing but Violence can fecure you v
you will not be able to advance one Step
without a Combat; you mult fight your Way
through all the Squadrons ; the Flefb, the
World, and the Devil will draw up to op-
pofe you \ and when thefe Enemies are head-
ed by vitious Habits, God knows, whether
you will ever befo hardy, as even to attempt
a Conqueft fo hazardous on the one fide, and
fo laborious on the other.
IX
Indeed a Chriflian Behavw -■ among Gen-
tlemen is fb unufual^ thav you iim: venter to
he out of Fallyon, you uraic Hand :hs Shock
. of ^
A Gentleman infiruSfed^ &c. i6^
of llalkry, aad perchance the Stroak of a
LiiTjpoon •, but thefe Weapons (lick in the
Skin, and although they are pufht on with all
the Violence of Malice and Profansnefs, are
not able to draw Blood, or to touch your
Reputation. I have often been aftonifh'd at
fome Gentlemen, who praftifed Virtue at
Home, and Vice in Company ^ who betray'd
their Confcience to avoid a Blufh. This is,
faid I, to fall into the wretched Biindnefs of
fome favage Indians^ v;ho adore the Devil,
that he may do 'em no Harm. If Rakes glo-
ry in Evil, why fliould youbeafhamed at
Good ? That carries along its Condemnation,
and this its Juflification. Surely Shame fits
more naturally on Guilt than Innocence.
But eould vv^e dive into a wicked Man's
Heart, could we pierce into his Soul^
we fhould read moft vifible Traces of Shame
andConfufion •, evei^y Moment he calls an
Eye on his Vices and his Neighbour's Vir-
tues. For let me tell you, Ncander^ Piety
has an amiable Afpeft, it charms its very
Perfccutors, and even thofe who fbigmatize
it in Practice, admire its Beauty. So that,
though fometimes they let fiie a Rallery^
and (hoot a joke, thefe petty Arrows flie at
random, and never come near your Honour:
Nay, take it for a general Rule, that thofe
Rakes, who flirt at a Chriftiaa Demeanour,
have afecret Elleem for it. Oh,
l62 A Gentleman injiruBed^ &c.
Oh, faid one, I muft draw in ray Piety,
and mew it within my own Walls ^ I have
almoft loft my Chriftian Name, and am fcarce
known, but by that of Bigot. Pray, Sir, faid
I, let us not ftartle at Sounds, nor run away
from Buffoons ^ let us conftrue the Word,
and frame right Notions, and then we fhali
find, that Bigot in the Jargon of Reprobates
is nothing elfe but a Man that believes Re-
gion, and dares profefs it •, that boggles at
Oaths, and bluflies at Perjuries^ that will
elevate his Spirits with old Hocl^ or new
Champancj^ but not drown his Reafon ^ that
has not Courage to laugh at Hell, nor the
Impudence to play upon Heaven ; that fome-
times does good Aftions, and always fears
bad ones. This is the Highth of a Blgot^s
Devotion, according to the modern life of
the Word •, fo that it imports nothing hurt-
ful, nothing infamous, unlefs itbeaDifgrace
to profefs Honefty upon Occafioas, to pra-
dife Morality, and to have a good Confti-
ence.
But let Debauches burlefque your Piety,
muft you abandon it ? Will you abjure Chri-
ftianity, becaufe fome Libertines fport with
Religion? or commence Atheift, to humour
Fools ? Why then will you be feared out of
Piety, or teazed out of Morality ? Is it ho-
nourable in Spight of Rallery to acknow-
/ edge
A Gentleman inflruBed^ &c. 163
ledge a God ? and a Difgrace to ferve him ?
Is it a Credit to be a Chriftian, and a Shame
to be a good one ? No certainly •, let us put
things together, and aft confequently \ let
us call in Reafon to govern Fancy.
Befides, who are thefe Men that awe us ?
AClubof Animals^that have more Mony than
Wit,and moreQuality than Confcience,aPack
of Hedors^that liveill,and judge worfe ^ that
are pitied by fome, and fcorn'd by others ^
the very Panegy ricks of thefe Men areSatyrs,
Praife out of their Mouths is fcandalous, and
Blame is glorious.M^w^^r,fufer not your felf
to be laught out of Heaven, nor rallied into
Helljifyou can't bear the reproachingFrowns
and Smiles of a Man, how will ye endure the
Frowns of an angry Deity ? If theLafh of a pe-
tulantTongue be fo fenfible^aiTure your felf the
Pains of Fire andBrimftone will be more infup-
portable. Virtue in aDungeon is preferable to
Sin on the Throne, and Innocence in the Pillo-
ry is more honourable thanGu ilt on the Bench.
X.
If yon love yourSoul^aad refolve to fave it,
a /Old the Converfation oPLibertines and A-
theifts^ like theBafilisk theirEyes dartPoifon,
and theirTongues fpeak Deaths they are Sa-
tan^Deputies, and Devils by Proxy. A Liber-
tine is half Fiend, half Beaft ^ Pleafure is his
SumrnHmBonum^ this he places in Sin like the
Devil, and in Mirelike the Swine ^ he circles
from
164 -4 GentUman tnflru^ed^ 8cc.
from theTavern to thePlay-Houfe,from hence
to the Stews, and returns to his Lodging the
fameWay ^ fo that hiswholeStudy is tolearn
Wick^dnefs, and his whole Bufmefs to pra-
ftife it-, his Difcourfe is a Compound of Smut
and Blafphemy •, his Entertainment unchrifti-
an, and his Dialeft diabolical ^ he would fain
monopolize theWit of the Nation,but wants
both Fund and Patent-, his Knowledge reach-
es no further than a Gazette or the Courant,
and on Occafions he ventures to vent Non-
fenfe in Meeter ^ his Religion is univerfal,
calculated for all Meridians -, he has one for a
Calm,another for a Storm, one fovEnrope^^nO'
ther ior Jmeriea ^ fo that it's as difficult to be
defined as zDisjunEiive ^ mEngland he ftickles
for his Bifhops ^ in Scotland BgzxnQ: 'em y he is
a Jew at Amjlerdam^ a Mnjfdman at Co??flami'
nofle ; a Tapill at Rome^ and a Cahlmfi at Ge-
fieva : In a Word, he is any thing without,
and nothing within \ fo that his whole Reli-
gion turns upon Convenience and Intercft,
and is comprized in^thefe Verfes.
Queft. What^s Orthodox andtriu Believing
^gair^fi aCorifcicme? Anf. A good Livir-g.
Quell. What mahs rebe!ii?g againfl Kings
^ good old Caufe ? Anf. A dmlni firings.
Qv^t^AVhat makes all DoBrine flam and clear'}
Anf. About two hundred Pound a Tear.
Queft. And that which was proved true before
Prove falfe ajrain ? Anf. Two hundred more,
XL
A Gentleman infiru&ed^ &c. 165
XI.
An Atheifl is an otrergrown Libertine *, and
if we believe his own Genealogy,he is aByblom
begot byHazard, and fluns into theWorld by
Neceflity^ he moves by Wheels, and has no
more Soul than a Wind-mill -, he is thruft on
by Fate, and acls by meer Compulfion •, he is
no mdreMafter of hisDeeds than of hisBeing ;
and therefore is as conftant to his Word as
the Winds to .the fame Corner ; fo that an
Atheifl: by his own Principles is a Knave per
/^,and an honeft Man only ferAccidensXn fine,
he ftarts out of Dufl: and vanifhesinto nothing.
Neand, All my Concerns are in the Hand of
a Man, who will not be very fond of thisCha-
rafter, yet he fets up for on Athiefl, and fup-
ports theFraternity with Arguments and Au-
thority.
Eufeb. M^;;^fr,difcharge him out of Hand,
he'll certainly ruin your Soul, and may pofli-
bly embezzle your Eftate. A round Hurrican
of Atoms may drive him into the PofTeffions
of your Lands, and you out of 'em. A brisk
PufFmay convey out of fight a neceflary Inden-
ture,or raife high theBill of Reparations-,there
is no coming near a Man with Safety, that's
void of Confcience ^ no trufting him that afts
byFates,or moves by Defl:iny ^ if he be aSlave
to impulfe, he is not Mafter of his Honelty.
Neand. Though he abjures God, he upholds
Rearon,and keepsTouch with Probity ^ he va-
lues
t66 A Gentleman injiru^ed^ &c.
lues Honour, and would forfeit Life to main-
tain it.
Mnfeh. Then he is made up of Contradidi-
ons,and one part of hisCreed ftabs the other ;
if there be no God, your Friend is the Spawn
of Cafualtry ; the Child of Matter and Mo-
tion, a Heap of Duft with a Complex of Ubi-
cations, aFigure without Soul,a Statue with-
outLife ^ he is all Matter likeBeafts, no more
capable of Reafon than an Ape, of Virtue than
BaalamhM%ox of Honour thanC^//>^/^*sCon-
fuL In fine, withdraw your Concerns, or you
may one Day repent your Confidence: For I
m uft once for all tell you,Honour withoutCon-
fcience,w ithoutReligion, will yield tolntereft.
iVi?^;^^.This cannot be done lb foon j endea-
vour,II befeech you, to gain him •, overturn his
Principles, and the ConqueJffc will be eafie ;
you can't oblige him more than by entering
into a Difpute •, and the fliorteftWay to win
his Favour, is to quarrel with his Tenets.
Eufeb. Difpates indeed are natural to A-
theifts •, for no Men maintain with greater
Eagernefs they are in the right, than thofe
that fufped they are in the wrong ; like Men
in a dangerous Road they love to travel in
Company,and fo draw inProfelytes to march
to Hell with a Caravan.
But, Neander^t\{\% Itch of arguing is a terri-
bleArgument, they are feared with Doubts,
and haunted with Sufpicions that God is no
Chymasra •,
A Gentleman injirn&ed^ 8cc. 162
Chymserai it's aSign thatConfcience is uneafy,
and makes fome Attempts to break all the
Barriers of Ignorance, Pride and Blafphemy.
However, Til comply with your Delires,
and wait upon the Gentleman, when you
command me : Although I muft tell you, a
converted Atheift is a Phccnix fcarce feen in
an Age i for he is a Mixture of Pride and Ig-
norance, of much Senfe and little Reafon j he
confutes Arguments with Laughter^and pre-
tends to frown Demonftration it felt into So-
phiftry. How can Truth (I do not fay fub-
due) but even reach fuch a Man ? You may
as foon fetch down the Moon with aCannon-
Bal], as convince him.
Neand, It's truc \ but Charity armed with
folid Reafons may perchance foften his Obfti-
nacy j and altho' you lofe your Labour,you'll
meet at lealt in the next World the Reward
of your Zeal. Til tell him you intend to
make him a Vifit.
Eitfeh. I am content, Neander^ I have
drawn a ftiortScheme of your Duty, and wifli
you fo happy as to comply with it ^ it will
prove the bell Support of this Life, and the
greateft Comfort in the other. God has in-
terwoven Man's Felicity with his Duty, and
twifled his Intereft with Pleafure. A Good
Man is feldom uneafy,and an ill one is always
unquiet^ one muft be blind not to difcover
the Canker at his Heart through all the glit-
tering
1 68 A Gentlemdft inflruBed^ &c.
tering Pageantry of Greatnefs and Power ^^
he may rant and langh, but can't be merry ^
For certainly their is a great Difference be-
tween Noife and Mirth ^ their Lives are as
unlike as their Ends ^ and thofe are as diffe-
rent, as the Pains of the Damned are from
the Joys of the Blefled.
'-^ Neander took Leave of EufehiHs^ with a
" Promife to call upon him the nextMorning.
^' He went immediately toTheomachns^sLodg'
'^ ings (this was theAtheift'sNameJ he open-
" ed freely his Delign, and ask'd him, If Bu-
" finefs would permit him to enter upon a
'' Conference with EnfehiHs.
^' ThcomachH< rccdvcd the Propofal with a
" Tranfport of Joy, and told JSleander he was
" infinitely oblig'd to him, for offering fo fair
^' an Occafion of making Acquaintance with a
^' Man fo much talked of. For (continued he)
" I have often heard great Commendations
" both of his Virtue and Learning, and fliall
'' by this Interview be able to judge,whether
" his Merits equal his Fame, Bcfides the
^' Greatnefs of my Adverfary will fecure my
" Credit, tho' Fortune declare againft me.
*' Neander^ after fome mutual Compliments,
^' returned to hisLodgings,witha Refolution
" to mind Theomachns of his Promife the next
^/ Morning.
FINIS.
A