THE GIFT OF MAY TREAT MORRISON IN MEMORY OF ALEXANDER F MORRISON WOMANKIND. BY CHAELOTTE MAEY YONGE. SECOND EDITION, NEW YORK MACMILLAI^ AND CO., 1890. HQ ^. to THE DEAB MEMOElEa OF F. M. Y.— a. T.— C. K AND TO OTHER INFLUENCES AND EXAMPLES THAT CANNOT BE NAMED AS THEY ARE 8TILI. WITH US, THESE THOUGHTS ON WOMEN ABB 434435 CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. f-AOl woman's status •••.a»*»i«l CHAPTER II. NUESERT TEAININO •...••.••8 CHAPTER III. EAKLY EELIGIOUS TEAININO . . . , . . ,14 CHAPTER IV. yiETUES AKD FAULTS OF CHILDHOOB .,,.,, 19 CHAPTER V. HOME, SCHOOL, OE G0VEENES3 ...,,., 29 CHAPTER VI. LESSONS •••...••••.88 CHAPTER VII. cui/nmE ••••..••.•.60 VI CONTENTS. CHAPTER VIII. , TAGK CniLDEEN S PLEASURES ,, 5(5 CHAPTER IX. THE TEENS ••...,.,,,,67 CHAPTER X. RELIGION • ...yS CHAPTER XL | YOUNG-LADTHOOD ••»,,80 CHAPTER XIL CHARITY • •,,,85 CHAPTER XIII. SUNDAY-SCHOOL ••••••« ,i, 90 CHAPTER XIV. REFINEMENT AND FINELY ••••,,,,99 CHAPTER XV. DKES3 • • . . • 108 CHAPTER XYI. AMUSEMENT ,, •••i 119 CHAPTER XVII. PARENTS AI^D CHILDREN . ••••••• 128 CONTENTS, Vll CHAPTER XVIII. PAGE BROTHERS AND SISTCrvS ••■ 135 CHAPTER XIX. FRIENDSniF .• •.•l'!o CHAPTER XX. TOUrn A^'D MAIDEN 1-2 CHAPTER XXI. counTsniP • • ^^^ CHAPTER XXII. ■\VIVE3 . • • • . • • • • • • •!" CHAPTER XXIII. MisTUESS AND serva::t ^^^ CHAPTER XXIV. SPIRITUAL DIRECTION ......••• 202 CHAPTER XXV. VIEWS AND OPINIONS • .211 CHAPTER XXVI. MONEY-MAKING «. ••• 222 CHAPTER XXVII. STEONG-MINDED WOMEN . . • . • • • • 231 VUl CONTENTS. CHAPTER XXVIII. PAO» TJNDEBDOINO AND OVEKDOINO ...».•• 240 CHAPTER XXIX. HEALTH ••«••... .••, 252 CHAPTER XXX. HOMB •..«.. 2G4 CHAPTER XXXI. THE WOELD »•• 274 CHAPTER XXXII. AUTnOlllTy ce**. ••,..• £84 CHAPTER XXXIII, eoREOW •• ,.., 298 CHAPTER XXXir, GOING IK .#••• S12 CHAPTER XXXV. OLD AOE $22 WOMANKIND. CHAPTER T. \eOMAN'S STATUS. A WOJTAW can hardly arrive at middle age without having thought over some of the duties and opportunities placed in the hands of her sex. To ihinlc. is in the present day almost equi- valent with to express ; and it is in the hope that the expression of some of my thoughts may he in some degree an assistance to a few readers, that I venture to throw a fresh contrihution into the seething cauldron of sayings and opinions with which we are regaled in the present day. Not that I have anything new to say — only that which is so old that it may seem new. I have no hesitation in declaring my full helief in the inferiority of woman, nor that she hrought it upon herself. I "believe — ^as entirely as any other truth which has been from the beginning — that woman was created as a help meet to man. How far she was then on an equality with him, no one can pretend to guess ; hut when the test came, whether the two human beings would pay allegiance to God or to the Tempter, it was the woman who was the first to flxil, and to draw her husband into the same tranr.gression. Thence her punishment of physical weakness and subordination, mitigated B 2 WOMANKIND. by the promise that she should be the means of bringing the Redeemer to renovate the world, and break the dominion of Satan. That there is this ',iiTrequality'fhj3j'6 .'is; no reasonable doubt. A woman of the highest faculties Is' of Course superior to a man of the lowest : -hut. shr? never .attsin's to'; anything like the powers of a man of the highest ' ability". There is a diffi culty, however, in generalizing ; because, owing to difference of climate, habit, and constitution, there is less inequahty between the sexos in some races than there is in others. The Roman woman was superior to the Greek, the woman of the West to her of the East; and there is far less dis- proportion between the negro and negress than between the coolie and his wife. Savage life renders the woman the slave. The man, having to the full the animal instincts of pugnacity and indolence, puts all that is toilsome upon her, multiplies wives in order that he may have more obedient hewers of wood and drawers of water, and, as all other male animals are the handsomer, he lavishes all adornments on himself. Perhaps the very first stage from savagery to civilization is marked by the preponderance of ornament on the female side. As soon as woman ceases to be the mere squaw, adornment is viewed as primarily her due. Her condition, where there is civilization without Christianity, is extremely variablp, and chiefly dependent on the national character ; and everywhere, in the very lowest classes, there is the tendency to bring her to the equaw level. In the upper ranks, and among classes faiily at ease, the usual tendency has been to regard the splendour and indolence of the chief wife as testimonials to the wealth and grandeur of her lord and master. Thus, African chieftainesses are fattened on milk like pigs for a cattle-show ; Chinese ladies cultivate unserviceable fingers atid toes ; and Persian princesses of old deemed the loom degradation. Seclusion has in these cases a good deal depended on the trustworthiness and under- standing of the women, Burmese women, who are of fair WOMAN S STATUS. 3 average capacity, are not iramured, while Hindoo and Chinese ladies are ; and before Mahometan ism had made the Arabian fashion universal, the Persian laiies do not appear to have been inmates of harems ; while European women always went at large, though with less liberty in Greece than among the Eomans and more northerly nations. The state of the Jewish women seems to have varied. Orientalism and imitation of the nations around lowered them at times, but the purity of the standard of faith on the other hand uplifted them. And in order that Holy Scripture might be truly universal, no maxims enforcing undue subjection have there received the seal of inspiration, so as to become permanent, even though the difference between the Eastern and Western minds may be traced every time an English child is taught to say the Tenth Commandment, when it is sure to try to forbid coveting the wife before coveting the house. It was from these people of Judah that the most beautiful image of dignified and perfect womanhood prore'^ded. "The words of King Lemuel, which his mother taught him," though seasoned with the salt of Inspiration, are clearly a contem- porary picture, typical as well as applicable to all ages ; and the nation that produced a Hannah, an Abigail, and a Shunammite, might well be able to conceive such a being as the virtuous woman. One of the very remarkable points in the history of woman and her position is the absence of any account of how polygamy came to be aboHshed, and of any direct precept on the subject. The words of our Lord applying to divorce plainly direct us to understand that "in the beginning," when Adam's prophetic command was given that "a man should leave his father and mother, and cleave unto his wife, and they twain should be one flesh," a single wife was implied, and that a plurality was subsequently only permitted "because of the hardness of their hearts ; " while every possible precaution was tat en for humanity and consideration towards the inferior wives. The desire to rival other kings in the multitude of female attendants seems to fi 2 4 WOMANKIND. have plunged even the hest of the sovereigns of Israel intc the harem system, which was directly contrary to the Law ; and op to the Bahylonish Captivity ordinary Eastern hahits prevailed. But in the New Testament, the duty of monogamy is estab- lished, and taken for granted from the first. IIow was thisi Had the Jews learnt it from theii licentious Greek and Roman masters 1 In some degree perhaps they had, for the Roman had a much higher standard of domestic virtue originally than "what he practised; hut it seems more likely that the great reformation under Ezra and his followers, which cleared away idolatry for ever, and made the Jews exact observers of the Law of Moses, really purified and elevated them so much, that the plurality of wives came to fall into entire disuse and disrepute — this being no doubt assisted by contact with European civiliza- tion, even in its corrupted state. The position of woman was at once recognised in Gospel teaching. The Blessing conferred upon the holy Mother of our Lord became the antidote to the punishment of Eve's transgres- sion; and in proportion to the fuU reception of the spirit of Christianity has woman thenceforth been elevated to her rightful pooition as the help-meet. There, however, comes in the woman's question of the day — Is she meant to be nothing but the help-meet] If by this is meant the wife, or even the sister or daughter, attached to tho aid of some particular man, I do not think she is. It is her most natural, most obvious, most easy destiny ; but one of the greatest incidental benefits that Christianity brought the whole sex was that of rendering marriage no longer the only lot of all, and thus making both the wife and the maiden stand on higher ground. " Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee," had been said to Eve. "Without a husband the woman had hitherto been absolutely nothing. Wife, mother, or slave, were her sole vocations ; and if her numbers became super- fluous, polygamy and female infanticide were the alternatives. WOMAN 8 STATUS. But the Church did away with this state of things. Wife- hood was dignified by becoming a faiut type or shadow of the Union of the Church with her Lord. Motherhood was ennobled by the Birth that saves the world ; and Maidenhood acquired a glory it hail never had before, and which taught the unmarried to regard themselves, not as beings who had failed in the pur- pose of their existence, but as pure creatures, free to devote themstlves to the service of their Lord ; for if His Birth had consecrated maternity, it had also consecrated virginity. The dim idea of pure dedicated creatures had, in the ancient dajs of Kome, suggested the order of Vestal Virgins. Rome had grown so corrupt, that it was almost impossible to keep up even the small nuuaber of these priestesses; but there was enough of the idea latent in the minds of the nation to make the consecration of Christian purity congenial ; and the high Roman courage, now refined, soon produced its whole army of brave Virgin Martyrs, Then it became understood that woman might look to no earthly lord, but might turn all her yearnings for love and protection to Him who has become the Son of INIan, " her celestial Spouse and King," and that her freedom from other ties enabled her to devote herself whoUy to Him. And how 1 Not only by direct contemplation and devotion, but "Inasmuch as ye have done it to one of the least of these, ye have done it unto Me." So hegan the vocation of the dedicated Virgin, the Deaconess, the Nun. The life in community became needful when no security could he had save in a fortress ; and this, together with the absolute need of the feminine nature for discipline and obedience, led to the monastic life being, with rare exceptions, the only choice of the unwedded throughout the middle ages ; but this safe and honoiu-able refuge for the single daughters of families did, to take it on the very lowest grounds, much to enhance the estimation in which their secular sisteiB were held. It is not, however, my purpose here to dwell on monasticism. All I want to do is to define what I believe to be the safe and ^ 6 \70MA\KINU. truo a=ppct in which woman ought to regard herself — namcl}', as the helpmeet of man ; not necessarily of any individual man, but of the whole Body whom Christ our Lord has left to h« waited on as Hitnseli He is her Lord, lie will find her work to do for II im. It may be that it will lie in the ordinary course of nature. It is almost certain that she will begin as help-meet to her father or brothers; and to many, there comts the Divinely-ordained estate of marriag*^, and the duties and blessings it entails, all sanctified thiough Him. It may be, again, that her lot is attendance on a parent — ptili a work of ministry especially blest by Him ; and so with all those obvious family claims that Providence marks out by the mere fact of there being no one else to undertake them. And for those who are without such calls, or from whom their tasks have fallen away, what is there left? Nay, not left as a remnant, for He has been there through all. Their Lord is ready for their direct, complete, uneclipsed service in whatever branch seems their vocation. His Church is the visibly prtsent Mother to guide them ; and as daughters of the Chmch their place and occupation is found. Previously they had no status, except as appendages to some individual man. Now, as members of one great Body, each has her place and office, whether domestic or in some special outer field. And in proportion as this is recognised, the single woman ceases to be manquee, and enjoys honour and happiness. The change makes less visible difl^erence to the married woman; because, by the orlgiial Divine ordinance, her husband has always been so much her lord that her duty to him becomes a sort of religion, and her cares as wife and mother occupy her mind and affections. Thus there is no state of society or r'digion — at least, where the sacrtdness of the tie of marriage is understood — that does not present instances of the exemplary woman, whose affections have bee^ a law to her, and have trained her in self-denial, patience, meekness, pity, and modesty. History, ami the experience of travellers and of missionaries, alike prove this fact. WOMAN 3 STATUS. 7 B\it the woman destitute of sucli a direct object for lier obedience, cares, iiiten sts and affections, is apt, when her first youth is over, to crave tor something further, unless she have recognised her relation to the universal Body and to its Head. As long as girlhood las's— and this often is a good way on into life — she has sufficient food for her interests, at home or abroad, in studies or amusements ; but let her home break up, or let her not feel herself a necessary wheel in its machinery, she becomes at a loss. The cui bono feeling comes over her studies ; amu-^enients become weary, or she finds herself looked at by the younger generation as de trop : and she either sinks into duU routine in a narrow home, or is an aimless guest at country houses ; or, on the other hand, she takes to being one of the equally purposeless tiavellers and sight-seers — ever roving, ever gazing ; or lastly, she struggles for the position ar)d privi- Ifges of a man. His indepeniience she has, and a very doleful thing she finds it — vanity and vexation of spirit to her.ielf ; and while she strips herself of all grace and softness, she be- comes ridiculous and absurd in his sight, and renders him averse to the culture to which he eironeoufly ascribes her urifemiuineness. But let her feel herself responsible to the one great Society of which she is a part, and let her look for the services that she can fulfil by head or by hands, by superintendence or by labour, by pen or pencil, by needle or by activity, by voice or by music, by teaching or by nursing — nay, by the gentle sympathy and earnest prayers of an invalid ; and the vague discontent is appeased. She has found a vocation, or it has been found for her. It may be an outwardly secular life that she lives, and there is no visible difference between her pursuits and those of others; but they are dedicated, they have their object; and if her heart rests in Him, she is content. I do not say that she wiU be in the least a faultless womaTi,'~l or that she may not expose herself to ridicule — as the lady w^ith a hobby, the clerical woman, the fussy district-visitor, or the like. This depends upon tact, and the minor morals and graces 8 WOilANKIND. of lifo ; nor is it always possible to be a^ pleasant in looks aud ways in advancing life as in yuuth — at Jf;i.-.t, not to man- kind. To v.oinen, wliose affuf tiou ia nioie ically valuahle to a spinster, it i^ always possible to become more and more agieeable, as the period of rivalry is outgrown, and there comes *'Tho heart at leisure from itself. With tin.o to sympathize." It is only as a daughter of the Church that woman can have her place, or Lo patisli-d as to her voratiou. Aud happily, many who do not iu word or licart feel for the Church as their Mother and Queen, yet do hfr M-ork, looking to hei luij theii Lord aiid King, and so aro " blccsed in theii- deed,'* CHAPTER IL KURSERY TRAINING. I DO not mran this for a work on education ; hut if T am to try to review tiie scenes and aspects of woman's life, I must begin at the beginning, and look at the little child, and what is being, or may bo, made of her. It seems to me that the weak point of most books on educa- tion is, that they say boldly, " Do this, and you will produce that effect," without taking into account the exce* ding variation in tliti dispositions of children, and liow treatment that will barely touch one will terrify another, while the doliglit of one is the misery of another. Of course there are broad rules, and general observations, and to these it is needful to confine oneself. Actual management learns adaptation, and in all cases principles are better than rules, as being both more stringent and more elastic. Much has of late heen said about training and education making the difference of habits between hoy and girl I do not NURSERY TRAIXXNQ. 9 think the notion can bo held by anyone who has often -n-atched the development of the two creatures. The instinct of the boy, long before imitation can have put it into his head, is to drum and strike in a way that never seems to occur to his si.-^ter. Uo is sure to be eager for sticks, and esteems the sight of a hors.; more than anything else ; while she almost as certainly cuddles even the very semblance of a chdd, and caresses what he beat-'. Both have a delight in producing a noise, but hers is seldom aggressive like that of the boy. It often happens, however, that for the few years immediately following babyhood, from about four or five to six or seven, the girl is rt-ally the more enterprising and less timid creature ; and this has perhaps given rise to the opinion above-mentioned. I 1 elieve the chief reason is that the inferior creature is of more rapid growth, and that she is really apt to be the stronger of the two, to say notliing of the fact that her tomboy isms are repressed and complained of, while the poor boy is blamed for his cowardice. At al)Out five years old boys are often very thoughtful beings. They have just acquired fall power of speech and limb, and can fairly understand the scenes around them, while custom has not taken away tlie novelty and wonder. If they have anyone who cares to converse with them, this is a great period of memorable — often original — saying?, unanswerable questions, and some- times of precocious religion. It now and tlien happens that the presage of the future manhood is then to be seen in the child ; and it is an age at which perhaps tho fairest hopes are enter- tained — often, of course, to be disappointed, and almost alwajs overshadowed during the time when the growth of the animal frame gains the mastery over the spiritual and intellectual being — often for many years. These little pensive boys are often exceedingly timid, as well as delicate in frame, and their sisters get credited with a great deal more couragp, because they are stronger, and either are or seem more daring. Indeed, this age of sold in boys is very apt to be in girls tlie age of coquetry. Thoughtful mother, aunt, or sister, will bring reflection out in 10 WOMANKIND. the boy ; while in the giil, notice from any man who wants to auuise himself with her will readily take elTcct. She iii very amusing, whether she be jierfectly simijle and unconscious, or whether she take the line of sentiment or sauci- ness. r»iit is it really for her good 1 Is it well to let this form of excitcnieiit in upon the young life? If she receives it as mere ])otting, and simply regards the " other party " as her kindest friend and playmate, no harm is done : but it seems to me that there is a certain blighting of the perfect freshness and dcliracy of the nature, when the simulation of nal love and courtship is permitted. It .seems to mo to be hanl upon the dignity and innocence of childhood, tlius to make it ape what it cannot understand, and to desecrate the real bt-uuty of love to forestall it in sjiort ; nay, may not the lingering nc ollfction of such foolish play sometimes assist to make the growing-up girl think lightly of flirtiition 1 It is a dillituilt subject; but 1 think it might be impressed on both parties, that " Mamma does not like that kind of play," and that no real happine.s3 would be lost by such restraint. Some pain, too, might be saved, for la neillfsse de Venfance sets in soon enough ; and while the boy becomws a prt-y to Berserkar wiith, and, unices he has his own kind to play with, or else plenty of space and liberty for voice and motion, is a burthen to himself and all his family ; the girl loses her attnic'ive kitten- like grace, so that the very admirers who lately called her deliiious, and her speeches " rich," now vote them pert and troublesome, and declare that she must be banished to the school-room from seven to seventeen. If she is strong and healthy, " tombojism " by no means vanishes at this period. It is the bet-t sign for future health, for it to be retained up quite to the "teens." What I mean by " tomboyism " is a wholesome delight in rushing about at full speed, playing at active games, climbing trees, rowing boats, making dirt-pies, and the like. It can all be done with perfect modesty, provided the girls thoroughly understand that what is permissible among them- selves needs a little restraint if a boy not of their o\vn family be NURSERY TRAIXIXa. H among them, and that they must avoid all rudeness. Perhaps it is best, this principle being understood, to leave the caiTyiug out to themselves. With them romj)ing is sure to betray itself by the torn frock, dishevelltd hair, and over-heated state of exhaustion ; and a little improvement of the occasion generally brings shame and contrition, that will worlc gradually against the wildness of high spirits. Besides, brothers are almost dways fastidious guardians to their sisters' propriety of demeanour, and tell them much stronger truths than will go down from anyone else. Where an act that shocks the elders' notions of pro- priety comes under cognizance, a sudden sharp demonstration of the shock it reaUy causes, foHowed up, in a cooler, more private moment, by a Httle conversation upon maidenline.ss, based upon the " being grown older," wiU generaHy be effectual.' 8ome girls have an instinct about them tliat never permits them to oflend ; others have strong frames and high spirits, which make the sense of decorum slow in onming ; and a hint that will cover one girl with agonizing blushes is scarcely obsei-ved by another— a lecture which will be hilpfulto one in time of excite- ment and temptation will be scorned by another as tiresomeness or particularity on th« elders part. For this latter class of girl, one brief sharp sting of censure li-om father, uncle, or elder brother, wiU do more than a hundred reproofs from her own sex. It would be pleasant to believe that, in all cases, a delicate 1 modesty and regard to propriety is the attribute of girls, and that however rough, noisy, and bouncing they may be from seven years old to twelve, they are sure to soften into maidenly reserve ; but, unluckily, experience shows that this is not so uniformly ' the case, as not to make it needful that the lesson of retenue ' and self-control should be er.forced in early girlhood, if we wish j 10 prevent the " fast " and bold development afterwards. Again I say that perfect liberty in the garden with brothers without objecting to boyish .ports, is generaUy quite safe ; but It IS wiser to let it be understood that masculine games such as cricket, or rougher sports, such as cHmbing, are not allowable with any other boys ; and any outrageous laughter or token of 12 WOMANKIND. _]boisterousne58 apart from merriment, ha», by simply regarding them a>i impos-ible in gei'tlnman or lady; such, we mean, as li.-.tening at doors', lool^ing into letters, playing unfairly at games, and the like — and likewise aU struggles for place, rude and rough spe^ch and manner, such as might become personal insult, "giving the lie dirt-ct," &c. Whether our behaviour in these matters be Christian courtesy, or mere con\entionality, is t-^stt-d by finding whether we will give way to a stranger or visible inferior as to an acquaintanca Children of gentle birth learn these things they hardly know Low, the happier ones from bab} hood, the less favoured by more (lir< ct and more painful lessons; sometimes by the contempt and indignation of their companions, or by the unanimous con^ent of their story-books. And that they are learnt by the great nia-s of ordinary people is a great safeguard to temper, and prevents many collisions, that miglit lead to evils far deeper than such as seem to be involved in these minor morals. Good habits, and self-control, seem to be what are especially within the power of education to accomplish. There are things that DO external power can accomplish, and that each must do for himself; but the process can be made much ea-ier by enforcing good habits and repressing bad ones. Some parents teach their children sound principles, but leave them all the trouble of correcting their faidt^ for themselves as they grow older; others take the task of training and correction into their own hands from the first ; and we need not say which we think the happiest and wisest way, and which is most likely to save the little ones from those ingrained faults that become besetting eina. 14 WOMANKIND. CHAPTER TIT. EARLY RELIGIOUS TRAININO. vv iTAT nrp tVion these habits that can be t-nuglit, theso faults that can be mastered, in most cases by judicious management 1 I am speaking now of what can be done by discipline, even more than by per.-onal rfligion. The soul i«, as I paid before, very apt to be almost stiflt-d by the animal and physical vigour of tlie> growing boy oi girl; there is a great bodily rettlesaness, apt to kad to irreverence, an impatience of attention to what does not interest the curiosity ; and moreover, the outward machinery of the family, or the school, provides a whole apparatus of secondary motives for teaching morality, and fost«'ring the affections that in after lile are to find tbeir Home and Object above. It Seems to me to be in the course of Providei.ce that it should be so. The faith of the Patriarchs — seeing at once to the end — seems to answer to the spiritual clearne?8 of the child t^mcrgirig from infancy ; while we have St. Paul's own authority for the likeness of the Jewish dispensation, with its elaliorate py. -stem of laws, and temporal reward and punishment, to the later childhood, trained in the rudim- nts by tutors and governors, untd the fulness of time, when of course the Christian di?peuta- tion answers to tlie faith of the maturei natura Of course 1 do not mean by this that a chdd should not be brought under the dominion of religion, or that religion does not often supply direct motive^. What I do mean i-, that as long a'' a child is reverent and dutiful., its spiritual f- elings may bo allowed to grow unseen, and not forced or examined. 1 divide spiritual feelings from knowledge. It is realhj the time fox learning and training. The actual personal religion that is to be expected and inculcated in these early years niust be the regular habit of prayer, and with attention — grafting upon this the a-kiig for what is wished for, and lor protection EARLY RELIGIOUS TRAINI.VO. 15 from anything dreaded. This is the sure.t way to engender trust, and the sense of dependence on the Fatlu-r Who can grant what the earthly parent cannot. lYor need we fear the child's aski.,g for tiivial thing.. Any temporal advanta-e we ask for IS probably quite as trivial, and things childish and temporal are the training for things eternal. Reverence is the next great point. No lamilianty, no levity, no spoi-tiveness where h,.l.y thu.gs are concerned ! Acknowledge no oHence as more serious tl.un fuilnres here ; and above all keep bad examples out of the children's sight. The Sunday question is a hard one. I believe that in the present day there is an over-f.ar of Sabbatarianism with children and that they are left to their own will i;i the matter, with over' regard to their present plnasure, rather than to their future habits. Tliey are apt to be allowed their choice about <-oin- to church, instead of viewing it as an ab>olute duty to offer their service to God ; and they are pitied for the length of the service, instead of being told it is a gnat privilege to be allowed to come to church at all, a. d that they will enter into it more when they grow older. W.ll they? Will they learn thus to con- sider God's service their fir..t objec-t, and to set aside the lessor objections abo.it weather, comfort, cold, and the Hke, which n.ake the body foremost 1 Is a little tedium and restlessness now to be put in competition with the habit of rating the worship of onr Maker above our own pleasure 1 Ther. fare I believe that whatever amount of church-going is decided on as suitable to the chihl's age shouLl be regularly insisted on, with due, bnt not fancif.d, regard to health and w. alher, and with the feelin- impressed by our being pervaded with it ourselves, that it cannot be set aside for pleasure or convenience, Hke any thir.g else It is a pity that it has become the fashion to laugh at the keepin- a Noah s ark for a Sunday toy. There is real benefit in making a difference, and the exclusive enjoyment of so charming a toy on the Sunday helps to give the fotival feeHng. The relaxation of distinctive Sunday occupations is producing a senous eliect in children's ignorance on religious subjects. It 16 TVCMAXKIND. is startling to PiikI hov^ many boys and girls are lift ignorant ol the tirst riidimeiits of Divinity and Scripture history. How are they ever to learn them at all, if not taught in those early years of leisure ? Nor will they regard such teaching as a penanco, if it is carried on with kindness and brightness, a very different thing from levity. Happiest are the homes whore a short portion of Scripture is read, with explanation, with one of the |>arents every day, and on Sunday the Catechism, hymns, and saered lessons, according to age. are gone tlirough and made interesting — best of all by the father. This cannot always be, es-pecially where the father ii> an over-t.;^xod clergyman ; but ho at le;ist loaches by example what is of chief importance. Hut laymen, whose leisure day it is, would do inestimable good if they would devote a little time, and a little interest, to their children's religious instruction on a Sunday, showing that they care about it, learning with the little ones it may be, if unable to teach. If this cannot be, the niotlier, or whoever in the family is best qualified, should make it a point that in these years of advancing youth — namely from six to twelve or thiitnt it is not at all hard, at four or five, to have thfm put into his lips ISun'lay after Sunday, or day after day, by the mother, while he tliinks it an honour and promotion — till at seven, eiglit, or nine, he has attained pi-rfect laniiliarity with the words ; and after the first, younger children follow in the track of the elder, and repeat the easier answers, orally learning the harder ones. I believe it is a mistake to begin with baby catechisms and " First Steps ; " it is a mere waste of time and. memory. The Church Catechism is more thoroughly known if repeated long before the understanding is equal to the memory, and there is plenty of time afterwards for breaking it up into questions and explaining it. Many well-managed children are uncomfoi-taljle if they do not njpeat " their Catechism " straight through on the Sunday, and think it a great privilege to do so to Papa or Mamma, Godfather or Godmother. Even boys, if thoroughly used to it before going to school, regard it as a home institution, and are really jjleased with the assistance that they have found it at school For their sakes, however, tlie parent's undertaking it is doubly desirable. They may be irreverent and idle witli a governess, but scarcfly with a parent. A little piece should be explained and illustrated from some of the counthss manuals in existence, and whicli are a'lapted to any age ; and by this means there can hardly fa'l to be a fair working head-knowledge (at least) of "all that a Christian ought to do and believe to his soul's health." "With elder children a good deal may be done in this way by writing. It is also — I say it delibi-rately — a great unkindneps not to cause children to lay up in their menioiies a good store of pas- ag<'S of Scripture so securely that agitation or grief can hardly disturb the power of recalling and rep' ating them. Our own t leepltss nights show the value of sucli recollections ; and no one has ever acted as a nurse without feeling the value of having Psalms or soothing passages at the tongue's end, to repeat when it may not be possible to read, besides that the voiee in reading is hardly ever so pleasant to hear as in repeating. Such facility o 18 WOMANKIND. is only to bo acquired in very early youth, and ou^'ht to be cultivated. The wictclifd old custom of punishing by giving chapteis to be learnt by heart, produced a rt action which has led to its being unconiinon to know anything but tlie Psalms, and not many of them ; but let it be really felt that the actiuisiiion of a small portion to be rej)eated on Sunday pleases the parent.-", let that portion be well chosen, and perfectioa at certain stages be stimulated by some suitable prize, such as a photograph of a sacred subject — and the learning will become a jthasure. Hymns are also valuable, but 1 sliould put the I'sulma and passages of the Bible first; and as to all catechisms but that of the Church, they are all very well as guides to the teacher, but to have them committi'd to memory U only wasting tlie time that might be given to holy words of pirpttilal bent-lit The Sunday Go-^pels are vciy suitable for such learning; but when taking the Psalms, it is better to select — for if the child begins at the beginning, those from the thiid to the seventh interebt it 80 little, that tlie task becomes a burthen. The Songs of D- grees, the twenty third, fiftonth. and nineteenth, are the best to begin with. If the children go to the Daily Service, or take part in a family reading of the Psalms and L« ssons, tliis nuiat not be taken as supplying the place of real instruction. Too much — even with the new Ltctionary — is read at a time, besides that, for great part of the year, the First Lessons are scarcely comprehensible to the very young. A portion about the length of a Sunday Gospel should be individually read every day, with some kind of comment, either oral, by qui s' ions, or from a book. This, as before said, is best of aU done by a parent (even without talent for teaching), but if regularity cannot be managed, let the child take the same time on some serious subject witli the governess. ]f the choice be between governess and mamma, mamma will have the preference; but if mamma's occupation or illness leaves uncertain and much-priz-dgaps for play, the religious lesson will be viewed as an infliction. "Wliatever the child learns, it should be carefully shown is mere knowledge, not to hi confounded with goodness, and that VIRTUES AND FAULTS OP CHILDHOOD. 19 real dutifulness and conscientiousness stand far higher than perfect repetition of hymns, or accuracy iu naming the King.-^ of Israel and Ju'lah. But technical religious instruction is a scaffolding, the lack of which is an imuiense hindrance in after life. CHAPTER IV. VIRTUES AND FAULTS OF CHILDnOOD. And now, what are the virtues that are to spring out of this instruction and training in early cbildliood, and how far should they be consciously connected witli religion? Truth stands tir.-t, of coiir.-a Happily, public opinion in England is in favour of truth; and there is hardly a child of any sort of education who doctt not view falsehood as the worst crime within its range. Little children's failures in veracity are apt to be flora three causes — timidity, insulted reserve, and romancing. The timidity, apparently, is best treated by indul- gence to the utmost to confessed faults, and such pit}iiig severity to the deceit, that the poor little mind may be convinced that " honesty is the best policy." The child who denies because it thinks you have no right to question, is g"nerally of stuff strong enough to bear and understand the penance ; and the romancing inaccurate child wants constant training and b ing brought to book, sometimes laughed at, sometimes reproved, for evejy fo dish mif^statement ; and every means should be taken of sitting before it instances of the evil consequences thence resulting. Though less bad in the child than the other causes of untruth, it is more in danger of bei"g permanent, and of being a life-long defect. Some persons' minds really seem destitute of the power of distinguishing details; they will persist that it is "all the same," after being convicted of some lla;4rant misrepresentation, and cannot conceive what is found fault with, I believe c 2 20 WOMANKIND. education does much to remedy this fault, bocnupo, though everyone knows only too many ladies and gentlemen subject to it, many are strictly accurate, while it is almost universal amon^- the uneducated of all ages. Try to get to the bottom of any storx current in any locality, and the contiadictions and absurdities you meet with make you wonder what process is gone through tc bring the capacity of giving trustworthy evidence. Children in general need not labour under this defect. Theii memories are stronger than — and are not loaded with such a mass of past circumstances, all much alike, as — those of tlieii elders ; and unless hereditary bi^s, or bad exami)le, b« very strong, they can generally be entirely cured, and where inaccu- racy is inveterate, be placed on tht-ir guard. Trustworthiness seems to me the next highest perffctiot) in a child. I place it before obedience, because that depends more on the elders than is always allowed for, and may be only feat or pliability, whereas trustworthiness must be conscientious. The true kindness to a child is to make the least command law, and to correct resistance as disobedience. Everyone allows this, bnt everyone will not take the trouble, or has not the strength, to carry it out, and put an end to potty rebellion in trifles. Almost every child, too, has the instinct of trying its strength with its keeper, and experimenting how far it can go. It will disregard the nagging prohibition, or the whining threat, because they have both become unmeaning ; and when after a time it does something unbearable, it has a sense of injury that unex- pected anger has fallen on it without sufficient warning. The very same child will be stiictly obedient to a person ■whose power it has learnt to respect, and wearisomely insubor- dinate under a feebler or more careless dominion ; yes, and often when it has given a promise, or feels itself upon honour, it will be scrupulously careful not to transgress, out of sight, orders it would disobey in sight. Such a child is thoroughly hopeful, and there is every reason to think its sense of duty will grow wider and higher. And to make children trustworthy, or keep them so, trust them entirely, until you perceive soioe vihtui:.? and faults of ciiildiioou. 21 abuse of your irust, and then show all your grief, but give hopes that trust may be earned once more. IMnke al.-o as i thing utterly inexpl cable occurs, dismiss it when you find it unfathomable. Your griet and dismay have henn, V'-ry pos-ibly, as complete a lesaou as you could have given, had you traced the faub, and been able to convict the olf-nder. Never lay the whole community under punishment 1 11 the thing is explained. You will only get into an undignified position, and t-timulite the worst s de of all the natures. Scarcely a large family or school but has experiences of Fouie mischief wrapped in m)stery ; and in talking these over, in after 1 fe, it will ofien turn out that. t!ie pooi' ^liildreii suspected liave been so bewilderetl and worried by the inteirog-ition, as to lose all certainty whether they were guilty or not. In these cases, it is better to treat the tiling as if it had not happened, than to make it a reason for continued distrust. Temper seems to me to he moulded by tlie, heaUb and circum- stances of the child, while it is still an infai t. I(. altliy happy children are generally good-temper^-d for life ; and where they fail is in oc asional fits, either of obstinacy, which is misused 'length (if will, or of pas-ion, which is the uncontrollable out- .k of excitability. it is weakness and tender nerves, .tfering in fomis neither understood nor explained, that produce ibe fretful temperament, which lass even altrjr health has been gained. 'J liere is an age too, some little time after speech is peifect, when children, aggrieved perhaps at lo.-^ing the caressfs of inftxncy, are very apt to get into a whining t 'ne, and bring all their requests and giievances (sometimes their lessons) in the most pitiful voice. It is better to stop this at once, by speaking gently but cheeifully, and saying "I will listen to you, if you ■ivill speak in your own voice." It really is an important tiling' 22 WOMANKIXD. to correct; for there is DOlhing more huitful to a woman's position in lier faiuily, than the hahit of letting her voice become plaintive, the moment she is unconifoi table or aggrieved. Sometimes, too, an ordinarily cheerful cliild falls into a s'ate of rteak spirits, feeling everything an injury, and with tears pprit\gii)g on the slightest cau-se. This is sometimes connected witli change of teeth, sometimes with rapid growth. In ])ast days, there was little mercy to a child in this condition ; she would be scolded, laughed at, or thratencd wi'.h cr}ing lieistlJi into a thread-paper ; and the other clulrLren, believing her wilfully naughty, teazed her piiili ssly. Now a tonic, a glass of wine, or a bna'h of sea air, is generally the ii medy ; but with all consideration for the child, it is best, at the same time, to give some gentle stimulus to help her to acquire self-control, since it is not likely that she will pass through life without many more periods of depressed power. Fretfulness, whether in the nature, or merely the effect of temporary languor, is best dealt Avith by inilucements on the side of reward. The punishment should only bo its natural consequence. " My dear, I cannot take you tliis time — you were so tiresome, and teazed everyone so much." Never L t anything be got by fretting, or the power of the ei gine will only too soon be discovered. Practically, the mo^t frttful person is sure to be the despot of the family ; but for her own sake, even more than that of others, the tyranny had belter be averted. And when conpcience and determination shut the mouth, the spirit of piteousness is in the way to be starved out. The two strong forms of ttmper are much more easily dealt \\\i\\. Passion of the kicking and screaming form is so terrible a memory lo the victim, tliat the will is likely to be in favour of subduing it; and it must be very bad management indeed, tliat has not cured a girl of it by ten or twelve years old. The test whellier the evil is conquered, and not merely that tlie lad}-like instinct is awake, is whether word as well as gesture is restrained. Obstiaacy often becomes a kind of stupor, in which the child VIRTUES AND FAULTS OP CHILDHOOD. 23 has gone into such a state of passive resistance, as not in the least to understand the efforts at persuasion, or the attempts at coercion, aimed at him. I believe tlie best way then is to observe that he is not in his senses, and h-ave him to recover. There is so much pride in sullenness, that to pay it too much attention flitters and increases it. The way to be really moitifying is to avoid making the point of contest too im- portant, especially if it be what it is quite impossible to make anotlirr person do. " Ye may gar me greet, but ye canna gar me tell," says Madge Wihifire; and when the child reluses to f-peak some word, or accost some visitor, punis^h it at once for the disobedience, but do not enforce the matter till after the mood has passed, and the zest of resistance is over. If possible, avoid that dreadful state of dogged perseverance wliich becomes a trial of strength of will ; but come off with dignity, by observing that since the child is so foolish, it must be puuislied, and then carry out the puaishuient, not letting it feel that it has gained the victory. After all, though judicious management spares ihe child from giving way to the niost vif^ibly obnoxious forn s of any kind of temper, the remedy is only from within. Ixternal management trains in self-contrd, and gives power of repression. Ittd'gious principle and practice in the child alone can really conquer the enemy, whetlier anger, obstinacy, or repining. These tendenci( s, together with failures in obedience, and falsehoods from timidity, are the errors the joung spirit can thoroughly appreciate as sins and temptations, learn to repent of, pray agains-t, and struggle with. It seems to be thus pro- videntially ordered that childish faults, which do not necessarily leave a fatd stain, should be made the means of teaching the soul to depend on Divine help, and strive against tenii taiion. Thus it is that the strong character, capable of doing far the most in the world by and by, is often apparently " the most naughty," before the force of will has been tuine. obviates a good dccl of di?putirg, by making it cl' ar wlio is to to say what is to be dont-, and who is to be obeyed. A grvat deal of qiiarelling is really for want of an aiknowle-lged leader, a good deal more is a sort of police. TUis is not said with any view to its toleration — for it is a grievous blot on the brigJit page of childhood, a sad marrirg cf family affeciion — but cliielly to show that it may be more the fault of the parents than of tlit- children ; and when there is good s^und principle and love at the bottom, the effect on the grown-up fraternity is pometim*^ to enable them to say the most unpalatable home tiuths to on-^ another in the moet uncompromising manner, and then forg»-t and forgive, as if nothing bad happened. However, fa»> ly couitesy should liinder the violence ; and ther»-fore all mutual rudeness and biektrings should be put down with the utmO:-t decision, whenever they crop cat^ Blows, kick", pinches, and the like should most assuredly be punished sharply, especially from the str')rig»^r to the weaker, and treate^l as a seiious offence. Some parents think it leaves l^-ss ill blo, be best cured by a fither's i. dignalion fir>t, and then by rea-oning on the cowardliness of the aci ion. Teazing a whining giil is more difficult to dtal witli, because the boy can never be convinced that her folly does not make her fair game, and that he is not using wholesome d scipline, and this to a certain exteut is true ; but the borders between good-humoured b inter and tyrannical tormenting, are .«o very easily passed, that the only test is whether the girl be rually unhappy, and the boj VIBTUES A>rD FAULTS OF CniLDHOOD. •. eDJovTTig — not the fun, hut — the itifliction of unLapp'.ness, and llitn he mui^t be puuishf-d. Girls' teazing of oue auother is chiefly ragging. In its wo'st kinds it is a development ratlier of scho«jJs than ^mili»'S. Tlid feminiiae nature is not one to impiove h} being masked tc^eiher, and'the grl does not i.a'urally like those of her own sex who are not old enough to be contptuioDS, and yet so little yotingt-r than htr2elf as not to »-l cit the seut-meut of motherliness;. .Spit€ and jealo'isy are dangeis among girls thrown tog-'tli^-r Avitliout relaiiousliip, and uiiliout t!ie gradations of age nec*-s- sarily modifying family rivalri«s ; and where ihe elders lorni one division and little ones another, as in schools, the you^g-r ar^ simply troublesonje, instead of bringii.g out the seutiuit-ut of affection. And as all i.>ar ies are too old to fight it out otlier- wise, the tongue is employed to taunt and ttaze, and a las'iii«j[ bad habit is formed- Such things do prevail among fisteis, but less commonly. The tendency is often, however, on ihe part of the eLiest girl, to take tlie part of the liitle ones wiih undiscri- minating vehemence, and to be mucli less kind to la cad^tU unle.*s she have paired with her in that iniima^e manner which realizes the old fimUitude of "the double clieiry seeming I^'arted," and is one of the most pure and perft«t aHectioiis in existence, Ko'hing can form this connection — nothing but na'ure, and the peculiar construction of eiicli character, either in siinilariiy or dissimilarity ; but a strong and wise hand, hindering all iufrae- tions of the peace, and teacliiiig to bear and forbear — showing to tiie perpe'rator that "a small utikindne>s is a great offence," and to the sufferer that it is a very little one — do^-s much to smooth the future path of life, and to make home a beloved recollection. Patience and forgiveness are within the scope of a child's viitue, and should be required a^ the test of its sincerity. Yet by this I do not mean that there should be a constant appeal to the high»st motives as an engine for management If you tell a child not to tt-aze its little brother, because if he do*^ " God will not love h m," you siy what is not true. You break 28 WOIIANKIN'D. the Third ComTiiandaient yourself, and 70U put the child in danger of doing the same, and haUng tho appeaL It b one that tlie religious poor arc in the halnt of using ; find caro must he taken in checking yonng nurscry-molils ia making it, to show you do rot mean to prohibit religious subject^ only L'glit appeals. To recall the fault at bed-time, when tho (cmpcr is over, and teach tho child to confess it, and ask parJou in his prayer, is an entirely diilerent thing. One more point in childish religion is alii^^givlrg. If children have money of their own, tho duty of rcr.or\iiig a tilho for charity or the OU'ertoiy should bo put in their way, as an obliga- tion. Katural compassion will do much, if jiropcvly managi^d ; and as the happy creatures need never know of inipo.-ition, they may generally "find joy unmixed in charity." Tho great point is to let them feel tho tithe iho duty, tlie r>.ct r'ght, but not conipulsoiy. To let litllo gii'ls* school-room nce this, namely, power, time, and will, i-o far as actual instruction is concerned. As to that education wliieh is far more than actual teaching, the will is all tliat is needrd. Let real interest be shown in the child's studies ; let there be a word of teaching, a little encouragement, a quarter of an liour's reading, as often as possible, an eye for a f lir exercise in writing or acljievement in drawing, an ear for a recititii'n or a jdece of music; let the children feel that every stop in learning renders them more coni|>aniniiable to tlie'r fa' her, and lie will do more for them th^m is in the power of Hny oth^r creature. If he be a nian of leisure, he ought to do far more fur them ; but men of leisure are so very rare, tliat it is hardly worth while to speak of them. There is an odd notion abroad, that children do unt learn so w(D of their neirest relations as of strangf^rs. The fact is, I suspect, that the gift of teaching is nut universal, and that the person whose profession it is, ought — either fiom natural ability, endowment, or experience — to be better qualified than the others ; besidi s which, there are no old habits of spoiling to bo broken through. Still it is a real disadvantage that mothers 30 Womankind. do not attcm;it to tcnc^ more, or at any rato to bo tho presiding power in their scliool-rooms. Whore toother or elder sister jK)sscsscs tho power, iitstniction cnmfs from no one so well, and from no ono is it so p'^rroini-nt or vulnahle. In a lirge f midy, liowever, it is impossiblo tint the mother, however gMr»d as tin instnictress, can teich const m'ly, or have all tho children depending on hor; and a clergynian's wifo is liahlo to be con- tinually called oif to "speak to some one." Other ex'-ns^'s as to occu[)ation are not alv\'ays equally valid. No rea.souable pcrs-in would take olfcnco at a lady not br-ing accessibln to morning calls before luncheon ; and visitors in the hous* for mon; than a single day do not require entertainment in tho f.in-nnon. Even a leisurely husbnid, if he have any real regard for his cliildren, will surely not gru 'go tho mother two or three quiet mf>rning hours with them. Dei'end upon it, if sho will make tho schnol- room her resort, teaching whatever she is most fit to teach, whether the h«'aring great gills read, or taking the little boys' Latin, or the babies' first lessons — doing whatever is her strong point or the governess's weak one ; soioetini'-s making her teaching a reward, or in other cises taking in hud th(5 cninky one who has some essential misunderstanding with tiie govern<-88 — she will gain a hold over her cliiMren's minds and alfjctions, their trust and coididence, fir ab ive wh:it comes of only metting in holiday hours. "The govt-rness wouM not like it." Tiien do Dot keep her, but take a young ons, wit'i fresher accomplish- ments, and thankful for snpprvisiou. I take it, the V)est education is by the parents, supplftnented by technical teaching in certain branches, such as languages, music, drawing, an<1, if the parents Im not qualified, in arith- metic ; the second best, that by a goo. One difficulty is, that goud tuiuou is so costly that it can HOME, SCHOOL, OR GOVERNESS. 31 hardly "be attained without large numbers ; and it is not possible to have large numbers of young giils hoarding togetlicr, without injury to qualities more essentinl than intellect. It is a curious thing, but of universal experience, that while most boys are improved by free inteTcourse with their own kind in large numbers — gf^nerally the larger the better— girls as certaiuly deteriorate in proportion as the sense of fiinily Lfe is I'S^. There are reasons for it, of various kinds. One is the loss of privacy in the bed-rooiiis — which blunts certain delicate edges. Sisters sleep together at home ; but this is only a prolongation of the nursery, and quite diffeieut from the never beit g out of the sight of strangcis. Screens are a sine qua non, but even these cannot prevent a gill's pnyers, readiigs, and meditation, from being at the nidcy of anyone posses^sed with the Sjiirit of mii^chief or curiosity. All, however, that is to be taid on tins point has beeu excellently put in Miss Sewill'd rrinciidts of Education. Kext comes the diadvantage recognized not only in ladies' scho ds but in orphanages — tliat tlie tenderer part'* of the character find no scpe. Where a large maFS of girls, fnmi sixteen to ten or eight, arc tlirown together, the little ones are not small enough to draw out the alF. ction of the elders. Even at home, as I said before, many an eld-^r sister is as kind as pof^sible to the habiep, while she is harsh and impatient to the middle-sized children ; and where there is no bond of rel ition- ship the youngnr chihlren are, in the sight of tlie great out s, a troublesome noisy herd. The institution of " school mammas " may eecnre a protector f>r each, and tliere are occnsional pets, either from exceptional smallness or other charms; but, in general there is in the nature of things an antagonism that breeds party spirit, and takes off the softness of both parties. And most serious of all is tlie fct, that when once the nil ubeis are too large for the semblance i»f f unily life, confidence betsveen the head and tlie members becomes impossible. Unless the chief can really be a mother to the pupil-", and the teachers and senior giils live in free intimacy with Ler and the little 32 Womankind. OTiPP, suprrvision becomco espidunaije, and confilince talc-t''llirig. AVhere such ti-nns of friendship are iinpossibl**, th»re is m: gut>rys when tli- y dttcct evil among tht'in. The r.)ngh polio.? by which good b -ys iniligniintly crush the mischief, whih- g lardiig the dilin(pieiit from t-xposuiij to the iiia-tcr, i-* inip<>s-sil)ld to the feminine cri-atuu-s. The pleasure of « In ling suspicion and iliscovery is part of liiiman iiatnrf, and is no small ti-m|'titioii to acqiiiepce in acted dcci it- ; and where once the fueling has set in th«t the aulhoritie** arH natural ni<'nii«'8, t'uTe will come tlie spirit of evahioii, and cf all but lilt untruth. Wiure thiru «ro numerous 8u'>j"t ts too, th.» lules iiuist h»5 more .>-t'i''t, more num< rou-', and loss elaslir, tlmn among a f.-w ; tln'y will thcrtf r.; b-i mure iiksune, and tlic temptition to hreak thi'iu wi 1 'ue ^ropurtional>ly ;iie.iter, so tliat the governinf'iit is m in; gallin;^', md thus,i eig.igod iu it arc naturally 1. (iki-d on with h's- bkii g. The only thoroughly sa i^fartory port of boarding-'»c1iool for girls, seems to be one not numbering more than fiom tin lo twenty, where the ht'ale to dmovor them; but anion;; the younger gi^iiprauon, pnxif ought to bo ofTixvU and given of cnpiunty bcn to educated women. Tt is tho mediocre people, wlio tnkc situations underpaii!, and fill them in a half mechanical, half slovenly manner, who bring tuilioii into di.-reputo, and lower tho public opinion ^^{ thi-ir cla.t;inct^3 I can rf^culli'ct wen3 in one ca^o fi-Ofo a thoroughly vul,i,'ar employer, in the other from a servant, who was sharply rebuked, and, I think, di misstd for it. iVreons uith no coiisidenxtion for thoac about them are to bo found in any rank of life ; but whero a lady is forgttful of littlo plea-ures or comforts for her goverae*», sho is probably no better towards her husband, her friend.^, or anyone she is not afraid ot As to slights, anybody may hud them anywhere, who looks for them and thinks about stlf Perhaps it would he well if the lady and the governess both better undci-stood the situation of the lalttr. She is a L-idy HOME, SCHOOL, OU GOVER.VLSS. 35 with a profession, jist as much as a barrister is a f^pntleniiin with a iirofft-sioii. Tliat jrofes^ion id to t^ach the children, and ?U|>|'ly the jjlace of the mother when slie Is enga^'cJ. For thij |)urpo-p, f-he is rtsiileut in the liouse ; but it does not ar^ijue eitlier slight or inferiority, if she do not partakti all the gaieties of the mother an 1 ellt-r daught-rs. Ht-r purpo-e is to be witli her |iu:.ils at 8i:eh times as tlie mother cani.ot attend to them and thus sthe mu>t share tlioir hour-. Then as to her evenings ; wliere the family is large, or thcro is a continiiLd coming and goii'g of strang^^rs, it is no interru|)tioii that she sliould be one of tlie cinle ; but if the husband and wife, and one son or daughter, or the like small nuuibeit), are the onlinary homo st-t, a person of really ladydike feeling wouM p.-rotive it to be as much of an intrtision to come constintly among them, as she woidd think it if ahe lived in another hoiis-'. Most likely, if blie be a sensible jicrson, she is glad of a little peace to read iu or «rite her 1< tters. I have called a governcM a laily m ith a pioffssion. Ltness and eorisi-tcncy, as making it a charge; and tlie hire — if devoted, as it so often is, to maintaiu a p.irent or educate a brotlicr — ij " holinef'S unto t!ie Lonl." I'lie govt-rne-ss who teaches history and gf'Ogra[»liy, and h«ars scal'-s prac is-d, with the considentious (are of one wiio has tlm f ar of (iod b fore In r eyes, is just as much a hanilmaid of the ChiTclj, as if she wer^ a nursing or t»'aching Si.-.ter in a community. Surely this estiniate of iicr own pli'^e .fchonld help her so to place her eloMren and their welfare first, as to have little ob^-r vation to spend on the drawbacks of any family whore she oui^ht to engage licr--tlf. For, of couis-, I mean tiiat a Christ an D 2 3G WOMANKIND. wornnn woulil not kno^irgly allow hersolf to ha tf mpteil l>v any a'lv;ihta;^'e8 into a houseiioM wlicre religion was S}8U'niatica!ly but askle or igiioreil. ]t u |»os-il)lt3 that it iiii;^lit b'l right for her to go, in a niis^s oiiary pjiirit, or to remain, in a lainily where tliore was a cart'lesa tone ; but this slie couM hanlly venture without tiu.stwo'tliy counsel, and in that case she shmiM ai-cept the uniioyancea in the same spirit as she would those of a nnlo cottager. (jeneniUy spuiking, if she avoided on principle a worldly ungodly house, she would nl-o avoiil any intentional ini.shiliaviour or ne^l.;ct towards h»T-«lf. No situation id ff. e from the need of Warii'g ai.d furbcarir»g; and a woinau in a straig'-r household is more exposed to it than any other li'oiu the number of tiny pcculiantie^i that jar and rub oa cith>T side. Take the other sitle of the (pioslion. 'iho maninia, per-uadcd reluctantly ihat tlie children iifed moro t-acldng than she can bestow, olit:iin3 the gov«rnt'.>s in fear and dnad. Slie is equally afraid of boring lii-r husband With a strmgiM-, and of huning the governess's fellings, and all she can do is to make a eort of compromise, by bringing t!io governtss into the «1 rawing- room whenevtT there is any ad-s of any tai.t, or good seise, will p»-rc'-ivp, and acconinioiJute herself. In the iutimte vari ties that exi.'^t, general rules are impossible ; but it would 8vavs be cousideiato ia enabling her to see boolxs and papers, or to talio p::rt in any- tliing intcn sting. She ehoidd not feci — like Miss Thackeray's Catharine — that sho ia cut ofr from all that is bright and plia-ant, and set aside from all that occupies young people of her own age. I tliink tbat two cla-^sos of noolcs increase the evils. There is fir.^t the "jathctic governess" style, the effect of which on the govfrncss herself is excellently shewn in Miss In;^elo'*'d Stud its for Slories. And there is the children's book, which represents the governess as a wooden, unsympathetic person, and quizzes her attempts to enforce g.od English and good manners, and to impart information. Is it right thus to teach children nauglitiness, and not to lead them to accept readily the tiaining needful fur them ? Tl)e grown-up giils in the house can do much for the gover- ness's happiness. Often she can be made a very drlightful sympathizing friuntl, and audience for all their experiences ; and even if she be not suited to this happy role, she can be made much happier by their considerateness in bringing her flowers, books, music, (fcc, and telling her bits of news. The treatment sho receives from the servants will often be decided by their manner lowards her, and vray of speaking of her. Wheth' r the condition of governesses ever receives the change that is talked of, depends however not on employer.-, but on themselves ; upon their efficiency, and on their self respect — by which 1 by to means iiitend that punctilio which can bo woundtd at all points, but that simplicity which knows its place, and is "not easily provoked" For my own part I much prefer Ecgllih to foreign governesses, 434135 38 WOMANKIND. The a"bsprcc of unity ia doctrine seems to me a he?,v/ price to pay for slightly better pronunciation of the language, 6b''. AVhat aft^-r all is the outward conformity of the Swisi, Oi German Protestant 1 Who knows under what circumstaucok, ihe. children may be left to the governess's guidance, and is Lt not best that she slionLl be really of their Church ? Besidta. if liistory is not to be L-arut by rote, but thouyhtfully, .vbou/d it not be read with one whose jirinciides and opinions a.-- thj same with ours ? And aunther point is worthy of consido jtioii. It is not right to conilemn a whole nation, but it is n./torious that the French stiuidard of truth is Very unlike the Lnglish, sspecially in Koraan Catholics. Uf course there are many excellent foreign governesses, but on the whole, it seems to me that the character has much greater chance of bting furna-jO bj a fellow- country woman aud Cburch woman. CHAPTER VL LESSONS. DunixG the scho"lroom years there is a ricfc??ity of being taught. The old verb, to ham, was transitive, and I will take leave so to use it. In chQdhood we arc leaint — afterwards we learn. "When will jSIiss Po.-am-ting, and render the language and its constructioa real matter of iotenst. This is perhaps be.-t learnt, not by the old-fa-ihioned theme, but by accounts of something that has been read, or by tianslatious, very carefully revised, and made into good English. X, li. — Nobody would imagine how very few people there are caiiable of making a goo 1 prose translation, even when the original language is perfectly under^tood ; and early pains to make a trai;slatiou good readable current English, 40 WOMANKIND. ai d yet give the spirit of the oriyinal, tend to tf'ach a great deal of the i'lioni atid ana'omy of both ]an;.',uar slangy, i,, becoming more and more rarp ; Imt it is a mark of real refinement f'f mind and cultivation. If siiu[)le in tlie choice of w orils aijd turn of pliiasep, it need never give the idt a of fnrrnal prtcision : t.g. "I shall be^in to write to ray mother," is iiiii. it -ly bett- r tliau *' I shall commence to write home," which is nut •iraujniafical, sincn commence ought to be followed by a noun instead (>f an itifinitive, and home is not an adverb. "I shall commence my letter to my molher," is gram- matical, but has a sound of alfettaiion. To learn grammar thoroiiglily, and then use it, shnuld be the traiiiitig of every lady in the land ; and it is rather hard to find that story-books unanimously rfpresent insistance uul and graceful accomplishment, only to be acquired by intercourse with natives early enough in life for the organs to be fl'-xib'e ; but this is only exceptionally an entire matter of neces.-iry. French after "the school of IStratlbrd-le-Bowe" has been prevalent amou^ educated Englishwomen ever since Chaucer's time ; and a thorough grammatical knowledge, with such pionunciation as can be obtained through good les.-ons, is to stay-athonie jn'ople more valuable than mere tuse of speech, which they only rarely have to exercise. But if it be needful, a German houne is generally kind, true, and faithful, and not likely to do harm to little children. It is the further advantage in making this pronunciation a nursery, not a schoolroom matter, that no girl rtr-adag ancient history with a foreigner has a chance of hearing the usual English pronunciation of the classical names. To me it seems that the f^shion of teaching German as a Uiatter of course is rather a pity. 1 had rather make Latin the schoolroom lesson, and have German to be volunteertrd afterwards. German is so difficult, as to require a great deal of time ; and it is so irregular, as not to be the key to nearly so much as Latin — in learning v\ hich it is quite possible to learn the great outlines of both French and Italian — at any rate, the study of both, alike iu construction and words, is much sim]ilified, since both are Latin broken in different ways. German leads to nothing (except in the case oi philology) but reading its own litciatme ; whereas Latin is needful for clear knowledge of our own tongue, and moreover gives much greater facility of comprehension and power of exactness in the terminology of every other science, from Theology downwards. Latin, and at least enough Greek lo read the words and find them in the lexicon, are real powtrs, 43 WOMAXKIXD. "With the knowli dge of grammar thus acquire<^, Gptman might "be one of the i-tudies taken up in the later joung-laiiy days, though it is a pity it should now always have the preference to Italian, the language of Dante, Ttuou?ly says of girls' arithmetic. Let it be eonjuring then at first, only do not give very luug difficult sums to be done without a-si^tance. The i-train of attention is too great and too long, and the toil cansed by a blander disheartening. Shorter " problems," always proved, ttath a great deal more, with much less di.-gu>t Proof shonM be required, for Cotablishing that the corrcctmss of the answer does not depend upon the caprice of the key, but is really a fact and cannot be otherwise. It shows how ahd. why a blunder in the working affects the retult, and assists in nnderotanding the LESSONS. 43 principle ; moreover, it assists iu preventing one rule from being forgotten while another is being mastered. I Vlieve we do not really know anything till it becomes the meaiis of learning Fomething else. Our la^t acquii-ition may always tiy away till it has been rammed down with something above it ; and thus the past rule is best secured by becoming the means of learning tlie n-w one. Mechanical arithmetic extends, we should say, as far as Practice, and ought to l>e worked well through by eleven or twelve years old. It is best to go through all the varieties of weights and measures, not for the sake of learning how to work them, but of fixing them in tbe memory, and using them does this far better than learning them by heart. There arc exceptional being-!, who like j\lrs. Mozleys Bessie Gray, learu arithmetic with their understanding, and cannot get on without appreciating the reason why ; but these are not common. Xature makes the childish brain willing 1o take an immense deal of rote work rather than use one eflbrt to think; and we believe she is riglit. It is thinking, not learning nor work- ing, that damages ; and the memory may be stored, and facility of working can be obtained, without that dangerous feat of comprehension and deduction which is what " pressing a child too much " really means. Between ten and thirteen, according to their powers, girls shoidl begin at the beginning of some easy b ok of scientific arithraeti'-. De Morgan's is a very good one. They shouLl read it a'oud with a thorough-going person, who will not let them 1-ap over the self-evident foundations that they will view as insult-^ to their understanding. The real meaning of the working of tlie first four rules, there mastered, leads on the vulgar Iractions^ j>roportion, and decimals ; and only the minds which are morn than commonly blind to calculation can help comprehending and being interested. Somewhere about this time a be^jinninfj of mathematics should be made. Long previously the primary terms should have been accurately understood. Heading, or geography, iu fact, must 44 •WOv^NKIXD. lead to the learning the difference between an angle and a triangle, about i ardllel.-», lectanyL.s, and the like. x^.B. — If the te.ichtr hap[ieus to find her own head in confusioii on the subject, f^he had better look the detinitions up ab the bi ginning of the hooks of Euclid. Nobody can teach properly or under- stand aciurat'ly, who altL-riiately talks of a hexagou and a S'-xagon, or who does not perceive that an angle of ninety dt-grees must be a right an.le. Tnerc are thing-i wiiich a person of moderate capacity can gather wlnle reading, but that cannot be taught witliout being learnt instead of p eked np. It is absolute amusement to childien to be taugl.t to use a case of instruments, and the names and souicthing of the naturt-s of tlie simpler mathematical figures; and the inanntr of drawing them can be taught them as part of that rational oci.upation which is the next thing to pl'y. Even girls' pateli-woik tan be the foundation of a good deal of ical experimental information, if it be drawn on as^mmelr.cal uetign, requiring as it does perfect exactness. But it is well towards the enil of the schoolroom course to study the earlier books of Eu( lid, more perhaps for the sake of the reasoning tlian of tlie knowli dge, Obsuve, this is not to be enforced upon beings devoid of all mathematical capacity, of whom both sexes po-^sess some specimens of averr;ge intt-llei t in other respects. These, if hard driven, will learn the propo- sitions by a feat of memo'y, but llev^r conipieliend a word of them. They must Le given up, ju;t as the earless are given up as to music. The disc'pline of mathemntics is, however, Vf-ry valuable to the feminine creature in itself, and it is the key to a great deal more, above all when the point is reached where the properties of plane figures begin to meet and rx| lain the operations of arithmetic. I remember to this hour the di light of finding tlie meaning of tlie working of ascpiare-ioot sum. It.isan immense stage in life to rise, even for a n.oment, above the rule of thumb. Algebra and the further study of geometry are very good to be carried on bejond the schoolioom. Indeed, those who have LESS0K3. 45 capacity and opportunity, and who have gonetlirougli arithmetic, peihaps as far as the cube root, by the last year of their scliool- room life, had better be then initiated into algebra, for the sake of pimplitjing the operations they are learning to uudtrdtaiid, and for the benefit that the compreheusiou of the symbols will be in every other study. But we may hardly repeat too often, the schoolroom is tlie place for learning beginnitig.s. Afterwards the pursuit of the study depends upon taste and circumstance. Nobody is obliged to know more arithmetic than enough to keep the account^, but those who have the caiacity will do well by themselves if they cany on the sludy; and not only by themselves, for who can tell what opportunities of assisting brother, father, husband, or son, this cidtivateil power may not give them ; nay, in the lowest and most utilitarian view, the i^arae instruct'on that enables them to appreciate the vasttheorits of astronomy serves to reckou the quantity of carpeting needtd for a room. 80 again, a moderate knowIei''ge of history is de rirueur ; but there are persons so con.-tituteil that they can take no interest in the past. Neither the grt at chai'gi s which deal with the welfare of nations, the striking chara^t'^rs, nor the romantii; incidents, have power to touch them ; they cannot j.rojt-ct their imagination into bygone days, 1 or care about that which is not in immediate action. These mu>t go through historical study enough not to be liable to absurd blunders; and int'lligent teaching would probably make it much more interetting to them, by showing the beaiing upon the present. Hi.-tory should be taught from the first moment that reading has become not so much an ait as a stej. ping-stone. The names and dab s of English kings are, to the rest of history, much Avliat the multiplication table is to arithmetic, aud so the succession and some idea connected with each Tiame shoull be got into the head as soon as possible ; and many of the old traditions are jus-t as necessary to be known as if they were arithmetic. King Alfred and the cakes, Knut and the tide, the Conqueror and the 46 WOMANKIND. curfew, Tiufiis and the arrow — all are connections that can be established in the first lustre, and serve as foundations for life. Some wise man recommended teaching history backwards, beginning with the Eeform Bill. I wonder whether he evei tried it upon children, or reasoned only from men, to whom elections are realities, and who may need to bo shown the why and wherefore. The childish mind can take in small personal detail-i, but nothing of large interests ; and the best way to give the frame- work upon which the structure of real knowledge is to be built, is to connect the name with an idea that can he grasped, and that gives a sense of amusement. If Little Arthurs History were not so flagrantly incorrect, it would answer the purj ose ; but I have felt the need of another so much as to writH Aunt Charlottes Stories of the History of Evgland. (Marcus Ward ) On this the names and dates can be grafted, and should be rehearsed often enough to make them always within call by the memory in after life. Thire is generally connection enough with France to make the name of the king of one country recall that of his contemporary, and almost all the other conti- nental powers were in like manner connected with France, so that a certain knowledge of English dates enables those of the rest of modern history to be perceived with sufii ;ient accuray for common purposes, though not for an examination. This course of easy English hi.^tory should begin as soon as the art of reading has been attained with facility enough to allow of story-books being laid aside as lesfons — a time A'^arying from five to eight, according to the mechanical reiding powers of the child or the abilities of the teacher in imp irting what is really the mn>t difficult though the earliest acquisition of our lives, the linking sounds to signs. If the child cannot read well enough, the names and stories should be told or read to it in association with pictures. Anyway this alphabet should be acquired by seven or eight years old, and kept up by rehearsals of dates or writing out when another book is taken in hand. This book had better be some outline of ancient history LESSON'3. 47 lliere is sufficient anal gv between the chi] JliooJ of iuJiviJuals and the childhood of nation?, to make early history, when motives are simple, and passions on tlie suiface, much more easy to enter into than the later complicat'ons of politics. Moreover, at r.even, eight, or nine, the mind is developed enough to acquire that which is perhaps one of the great distim tioris between the cultivated and uncultivated — some sense of the perspective of history. And there is, or ought to be, Fufficieiit knowledge of Scripture events to serve as some amount of .scaffolding. If the child comes t) this point ^'mw^r, Maria Hack's True kitaries from Ancient llutory or Aunt Charlottes GrecioM and Roman History serve very wtll to give a warm ititere.-«t in individuals ; or for a somewhat more advanced cluLl, Landmarks of Ancient History connect the " five empires " with the Bible narrative. This will last about a year, by which time the mind will be grown enough for a somewhat more detailed English history, either the " Kings of England " or the " JN'ew School History of England" (Parker) — the ancient history being meantime kept up, as the Eiglish before, by repetition of da^es. That admir- able chart. Stork's " Stream of Time," ought to be in every school-room, if only it were adapted to modern discuveries and brought down to the present time. It teachts by the eye **How changing empires wane and wax, Are founded, flourish, and decay," more plainly than almost any amount of study or of oral instruction, and it is preferable to Le Sage's tables (which also need renewing and modernizing), inasmucli as they are shut up in a book, and this hangs, or should hang, on the wall. Who that has loitered near it can forget the sti earns of ancient realms falling into the Macedonian Empire, and in one generation, break- ing forth from it again only to fatten the Roman Empire, which Boon after its plethora begins to wax lean and emit the more modern nations 1 Who can forget this, who has seen it with 48 WOMANKIND. iVieir eyes, anrl referred to it with their reading? N.B. — Historical reading should always be accompanied by maps. Looking out the places is one of the works mot-t wearying to human indolence, but which best rewaids itself in the clearness and interest it gives ; and as cliildren like anything that breaks the continuity of a lesson, they are sure to be jilea^ed by it. Maps are so cheap now tliat they can be had in sufficient numbers to provide each child with one, and if intelligently used, i.e. pointing to the shape of the harbour, the proximity of a mountain, or the river whote passage caused the batile, they obtain life and animation. After the more detiiled Eriglish history course, it maybe well to go back to ancient history with Miss Se well's admirable "Greece" and "Eome." Mythology is so entertaining, that it can be pretty well imparted by a discreet lue of Kingsley's ami Cox's tales, which are just what might be read aloud to little girls at needlework ; and then might follow a tran.-latiou of Homer, which hardly ever fails to interest and deliyht much younger than some would suppose. Translations of the Greek tragedians can carry on the course. The ^iieid, if girls learn Latin, should be reserved to be read in the original. After this ancient course, I believe my own Landmarlcs of the Middle Ages and of Modern History will answer best for sketching European history. And giod historical novels and poetry had better be used to illustrate them, being either read aloud while the girls work or draw, or put into their hands as a favour. Many of. G. P. E. James's novels may be very well applied to this purpose. They by no means deserve the c«)n- tempt that has been bestowed on them ; their romance is always pure and high-minded, and the characters and manners are carefully studied. The faults — namely, want of variety, and lack of power to rise to the highest class of portraiture — do not tell in this kind of reading; and where there is a hiatus in the course of Scutt, the " two travellers " will be found very valuable. Shak< speare's historical plays should of course be read in LESSONS. 49 iTicir places, ancient and modern ; and ScolL's poems in the same manner. The cour!=ie of history described above v,Ul p^obablj' last till the girl is thirteen or fourteen years old: and then, if she be intf^^lligeiit and capable, 1 would entreat that her farther his- torical r. ailing should be of some real hooV, rot an abrii^gnieut or compilation. 7'alfis of a Grandfather I should reckon as real reading; and it' the chiLI bo not advanced or studious enough to read tlioni for herself, it would be better to mako them the reailing lesson. There arc historical eri'ors here and there, but tlie^e can be corrected ; ajid the coj)tai;t with a really povviiful thinking mind is so important a part of education, that it ought not to be sacrifictd to the mere fact-crauuoiag. Tho skeleton of chronology once learnt, and the power of easy writing attained, the facts can be kept uj) and put ia by other means ; but after tvvtlve years old, his'.or}' should be read aloud from authors of real force and KI3 le. If French be by this time familiar, French history had better be read thro igh that medium, and stories be dropped into read- ing for amusement, or only used occasionally as a treat on semi- holidays after the language is once mastered. Historical reading ought to be the hsbit of many year--, so that there is much more advantage in giving the impidse to read a long book without alarm, than in gad 'ping through any form of history made rasy. The custom of hunting d';\vn a subject by its date in as full or as origiTial a history as lies withi>i reach, should also be tanglit about this time; and this can often be done by proposing a subject — say tiie account of s >nie baitl<', or siege, or some biogra[)hy, and awarding the n;ccd of hoiiuui" to the lullett and m^.SL uccoiatc touj]vuaiUo:i, 50 WOMAN KIXDW ciiAriLi: viL OULTUKIL Arrrn all. l1)o tnio wny to tnako Ic^sonii !nt<'r»'»li''{», U V> Id (he }oui*g |>*«>|>lu foil ii.itiirally iu the way uf lulUvaUU coo« vcrKntioii. When " Uvur^n VMot " ahova Mn. llultcurtti'Vin^ to thu ^•u^t of a Kit) r, uiiiU r l! ano-Htor of th« fuiuiljTi elc; ' ' whirh rBndi'ra instruction to rtrj thallow in tho«o who do not ljflon^» in fAiiiiliiM whi • " r* nf art or li* > ilaily litV. Anyone «: •U tu ttach {> or gt'og^niphy |Ht4 aud thu «4x4i ty care fur culttvatioo, UQihing is »-o gi>o«l fur the int* llig^^nce of their growing girU oa to U' ali"\\y, when b-guii oa a »< : l, adlic-rvd for lif«', and Ucoiuira a nni^at'or, with tb« bo«.>r>on siitiog sih'iit niu-t fci-l negli>ctod, and will rufh arro s to oicupy, with some improvianl conioionplac*, iha ears tliat wero tagt-ily liat*ning to an int*-rvaling diiicufsion. Tht se are g''ii» rail) i-ithcr j»«0|>lo who have been secluded in the schoulioom all their girlh«»o»en a(.custou>cd to kif p up au undtrcurrpnt of wliisp'ri>, \\h:lu their parents aiid tht-ir gucsta were taJking. Tho>e who have iiev. r lived out of the schoolroom, nor shared tlieir }'aa>uto' iut<.r(.s s, but have dt2)cudcd for LOiiVersatioa oa CULT U HE. 51 a govornrs=<, who horsc-lf haa r.o rargo bryonJ tlicirs, are often iiiarvelloudly ignonmt of cominoa things and the ways of onliiiary lile, not to much for want of liaving learnt them, or read them, as for want of seeing them put into pr.ictice. Strr.-'0D in hardly to be called ppipi-rly educated who u Ixirud by tho real jieculiarities of tho sights she pees. Who does not know the dilferenco between showing a lion to atj apj>ivciativo oh ervcr, and to one to whom it u only gape-sc* d and an excus'i for au exixrditiou t And this power of iiit lligi'nt observation can best bo cultivated in clidtlren by heedful attontion ; not tormenting or opprwsing tho holiday, but encouraging and following up tho observations tliey are f the night, new moons shining at midnight, or full ones coming twice in a month. And what is fir m^ re imjinrtmt, there is no study that so stretches the mind to the coi ception of Inhnite Majesty. Wilson's Five Gatewayx of Knowleihje and Mace's Morceau de Patn, trans- lated by Mrs. Gatty, open the way to whnt it is expedient to know about our own bodies. Some sen^ible little bon- pidering the end. J^'otliing needs to be more carefully impressed than tiiis pertieverance. E ther in an Annual, or the Contribu- tions of Q.Q., I renieu.btT a contract hetweeu the little girl who did a lew tbings thoioughly and one who undertook many and coin|»leted none. To the one, a few peifcttly finished gift^ were awarded ; the other, many more, but all useless because deficient in some member. Kach was to be rf]Kiind as she iinished. Perhaps the conscience of thoroughness is the mobL important iutelltctual ac>^uisiliuu uf early eduualiOu. CHAPTER VIII. children's pleasures. In a ^appy, well-ordered, affectionate home, cLilJ life is full of plcassuic. ''Wliatever joys to-day maj- shine, AVhate'i-r may toncli witli sorrow, Yet it will be, I will divine, A soiiR'thiiig else tomorrow ; Such trilk'S will their hearts eiuiiloy-:— A shell, a flower, a leather ; If none of tlie?e, a cup of joy It is to be together." "Treats" are, however, a grent element in the joy of child- hood. The having something to look forward to is a real in- gredient in happiness, and to be without it is often depressing. But the treat should be suHiciently infrequent to be a real subject of anticipation. It should be something not common- place, and then it is indeed a treat aud a stimulus if rightly used. children's pleasures. 57 And the wLolcromest treats are those where the gratifi ation is entiiely ai)ait from display or vanity. Perhaps the most truly dtliglitlul is the excursion to wood or ruin, of any other place wliioh is an excuse for the out-of doors dinner or tea, and for running ahout, scramhling, and llowtr-gathering. A littlo gathering of youTig friends enjoy this to perfection; and it is no occasion for ?niait frocks, nor for food witli any zest save hunger and quaint contrivance. Kveu the London child in these railway days can enjoy ?U(h an expedition from town, and most probably will be in the country for a few weeks at least. These aie deliglits to all ages, from the very first where theic is strength enough for the long day, without being a drug on the other children. The school tea is another cause of exceeding happiness, especially when the pchool-children are the real object, not the excuse, and their ganiLS are jiromoted and joined in by the gentle chihlren. Then tliere is all the delight of usefulness and importance and real kindness, ringers s-ticky with distributing buns, frocks splashed or even inundated with tea poured from cumbrous p'tchers into t-ny mugs held aslaiit — these are natural incidents of the day, only requiring that the frocks should " wash ;" so that there need be no distress on their account, even though ihe gathers should come out at blind-man's-buff or Tom Tiddler's ground. N'o, let it be no be t-frock garden par'y in disguise, with croquet-grounds to amuse idle spectators, who have no business lliere. Have oidy those who come to wait on the school- children, and do not insult chdtlhoud, gpntle or simjde, by making its supposed jileasure a means of P'lying oif your own sucial debts. 'The garden party is the bpst form of child's party, though, to my mind it is spoilt for them as .-oon as it pa-ses into full dress, or includes large numbers wlio are nc-t iiitiuihte. Chddien may think it will be a p]ea>ure, l;ut they are no judges 1 efore- band, and they cannot be taken to such an enteriainment among numerous elders without being eithtr troublesome and 08 WOMANKIXa fiirwarl, or il*e umliT a ru^traint and grni onlj rcntlcreU «nilur- aMo by tho {•I*'n.<«nn'a of drucA, eating, and apinj,* ^'ruwii up niaiiiMrii. And if this is to with a gtirdi-n jwir y, which at U«a»t h'.xA the merit of b«iii(j in tho oi*n air iu..I Iv .ti\.,i -lit wint can be Raid for the Chri-tiuns tree iiyxtuni Thi\rent and pecrecy. Such lr«four, the Hervaiitd and de|M>ndanta, childrvn, th« |>iior nnd the niairoe*!, tho halt, and tho blind. Or to rt tlivk tho irvo with fmh con- lrivanci'8 fur n)tno Sunciiio workhouiw chtldien, or the liki>, will niako it a iloiblo fo int of lif^ht and joy. Itut the frwjuoiit procoM i« — •« I nupiio e we must }iavo ■ Chri.-tinas-lrwe. Poojdo will e\|ii». i it. It ui an inti>l> r.tMe trouVdo and «•xpon^c; but if it \t il>\w at all, it niujit b.' li.ii.il Boinoly done." So Cirt-loads of b^n Ixm^ np' jnir' I. i^nl in frail tinpil conlrivancos, and a gnat outUy ia grudgingly ; articlt'8 to l)o distribut»-h«z^in), not out of love oi regard, or adaptat'on to tho childron, but simply that the thing may bo done handsonit ly. The chiMren stiind round. They do not cam for the giver thoy havo no gratitudo for the gift, they aro ni«r« ly cag* i for ■what they can g<^t, and they are loaded %«ith Aon Inmi in such quantities, tliat their best wishers are thankful if half n- r crushed. Then comes the forinal dancing, with all the '.'. and follies of grownup people apt d in it; nnd at a prepoe- terous hour the supper, a^ elaborate and ( ostly as a regular >»all supper, and more freely criticised by the pncocioua littlo epicures. Can ths be wholesome for body and mind I Will not pireuts have slrcngih aud unworldlincss enough to be thouglit cniLoncN's pleasures. 69 " particular," and Bave tlioir cliildron from such a hot-ljcd of all lli.it no one could ui^li Id see in tlicni 1 Hannah More, lonj,' a;^'o, jileiulrd apainst cliildron's balls. She was set up in elli;:;}', uith a great rod in her hand, at tho end of a ballroom in London, in con<»oqiienoti ; but her reliyious remonstrance, followed up by Miss Id^euorth's common-scnso one, really did make childish dissij)ati<)n much less the fashion f tr the time. Can ful parents made their children happy at home, or in the email numbers where they could be freely happy over their p'ay in an innocent, inexpensive manner, such as left them childn'n. Lut it is ])nblicity and lar^je numhi-r.s that .'jioil every thiiij; with us. Adinj^ — a drlightfiil }ii)liday sjoit — is made a dangerous cause of displny and titillation of vanity to every clever or pretty child. As soon as the i)lay pt-fs be}ond the intimate friends, and becomes tho inntif of a nii-cellaneoiis parly, incliidin«; all tho vi.siling liht, the poor children, who ought to be placing for their own and their family's wholesome divei-sion, receive half their stimulus fiom the de.-ire of oLtiiiijii.g admiration. " Uh ! they are so simple, such dear little things, tliey never tliink about it" Easy to .«!ay ; but does anyone know a cliild's thonght><, and can it be right to put them into temptation? People will answer that it does not do nmch liarm ; al-o, tliat they cannot ollend inviting fiieiids, or seem to the children to deprive tliem of enjoyment. As to the friends, they will be content to speak of sue h parents as very " particular ; " and for the children the old tru>t, that " Papa and Mamma know best,'" may be reinforced by reprc- sentiitions of the weariness and stiffne-'S, as well as the real temptations of the evenings; and if a real genuine home delight, shared by their own little friends, or bestowed on the poor V)y their liands, be proviiled f^r them, they will have no need to complain. Or if a cliild should wish and murmur cither infected by some playfellow, or admiring the unknown, never mind. She will thank her parents for their wiodom in tin.o. 60 WOMANKIND. The pantomime may "be one of these compensating treats foi a London child at Christmas, tliongh to my miud the beauty of the scenery is much marred by the huilesque words, ruining all the grace and poetry, and pandering to the vulgur popular taste for puns and stock allusions. If there were but a panto- mime with the friiry world l)rought to life, with simple straight- forward poetiy and grace, that would be the place for children; but of that we fear there is no chance. Sight-seeing is a very important " treat." Only it should nob hegin too young. A child dragged to siglits it cannot yet 'jare for, half frightened and wholly wearied, is a sad sight. Some children re-illy experience a shock to the nerves when taken too young to the Zoological Gardens ; and any way it is wasting a great pleasure to t^ke them there before their curiosity has been excited by having heard or read something about the animals. I was seven or eight years old before any came in my way, and to this hour I remember vividly even the aspe t and arrange- ment of the dens in which I .'aw them. To learn to look intelligently, as I said in the last chapter, is a great part of education. Who does not know the difference between the spectator who examines,, learns, and enjoys, and the spectator Avho gazes vacantly, makes s une silly jest, or some preposterous remark that becomes a byword 1 To take children to the British Museum, when their studies point to any division of the many subjects there contained, would at once vivify their lessons, teach them how to see, and give much pleasure. From ancient history to the Egyptian Hall one day, to the Kineveh slabs soon after; from Grecian history to the Mausoleum and the Elgin marbles ; from the Punic Wars lo the Carthaginian pavements ; or again, from English history to the Tower and Westminster Abbey. How easy to do this a? a reward for diligence ; how the expedition would be enjoyed ; how much it would tell in vividness of interest! Yet, are not the Tower and Museum viewed as only pasture for the greenest country cousins, while the must trumpery ephemeral exhibition has its multitudes of visitors ? cuildren's fleasures. 61 Two or tliree clinptcrs in Edgeworth's Early Lessons, as wc'l as some in Harry and Lucy, show the keen enjoyment cliildien can, with a little care, be niaJe to take in museums, or any 1 ther exhibitions; and al-o how .>-oon the attention becomes fatigueJ. Kothiiig is btt'or here than Miss EJ;ieworth's continual protest ngaiu^t vacancy, listledsness, and spurious excitements or display. Excitement is close at lianJ wih almost all chililren. The hope of the least jileasure agitates them; and if the woihJ would only leave theui to the siuipL-st, freest, most inex])ensiye pleasures, tliey would be much happier, as will as much bettr-r able to enjoy in after }ears. liut, alas! who v\ouM imngine that in their name the pomj s and v.nity of this world lia^l ever been renounced? A wo)d or two further I shoull like to say of home every- day ]ileasnrablo of rough ill-nsige, are the reol promoters of pleasure. And it is a niatti r of family experience whether fur is a delightful "pis-y," or gives a horrible sensation. The Edgeworth remailxs about niecbanical and useful toys being preferable, only fail in one respect, nam* ly, their want of poetry, and failure to peiceive the way in whih toys di al with the imaginative, the tender, and tht- aesthetic siiles of childn^n's minds, as well as the intellig.-nt ami mechanical ones. IMiss IvIgHvvorth, and still less her failx!!-, would never liave under- stood iVfrs. Gatty's touching memory of " rabi its' ta Is," nor the " woolly lambs standing on four pins," wliich a writer in The JlJayadne for the Youny speaks of as having been bought of a poor hawker, to " habljle of {.reen fields." as the perfectly foimcd lamb, which Mi', liuskiu rccommeuds, never could or 62 WOMANKIND. would have done, since tlie mere symbol is almo=:t a noodful provocative of imagination, as all theatrical lit mature proves. Nobody, however, can give im-igination, and the cliild must have what suits its genuine taste best. The child who loves the ornament or picture for its little room, whether for beauty or sugge^tiveness, is to be as muoh encouraged as the lover of the useful or mechanical article. Encouraged, I say, but directed ; for the purchase of things merely because they come before the eye and are " pretty," is to be decideilly discouraged, though the taste for the beautifid, noble, and suggestive, should be encouraged. Luying for buyiiig's sake, as well as tawdry trumpery, should be lauglied at and proscribed, and the consideration, " Will it last ? " '* Is this only for the pleasure of spending money ? " be enforced. " What will you do with it ? " " Shall you got tired of it ? " *' Do you really need it % " all should be carefully asked, even while leaving the child a free agent. And when a bit of experience has been putcliased, it had better not be forgotten ; for the habit of trifling away money is one of the hardest to cure. Dolls are very difft rent institutions in different families. To some girls they are children, to others sifters; wlii-c to others they are mere milliners* blocks, and to another set mere despised badges of feminine inferiority. In general, however, the notion that litile girls harn needlework by dressing them is a mere delusion. To make their clothes handily requires much more neatness than to make those of a poor child ; and shops and bazaars do all they can to remove the incentive, by offering every imaginable equipment ready made. The real use and delight of a doll is, however, such as ia shown in Mrs. O'Reilly's charming Doll Land, where the baby- house is a real dreamland, and the puppets therein are the subjects of absolute affection, and have individuality of character. People devoid of the peculiar imagination that can live in the^e fancies, will not credit thera ; but " they are burn, they are not made," and all we are inclined to say a'^out them is, ihat elders should nut arbitrarily interfere with them, insist on the gi^ing children's PLEASUREa. 63 away of the cherished doll, or the resignation of the whole doll system, for there is no knowing what real pain and grief is inflicted. Just so with book'', l^o one knows what fibres of the heart may have twisted round some dilapidated nurspry book, and how painfully the wrench of parting with it may be remem- bered in after life. Every generation complains that the one beneath it is saturated with stury-books, and does not value them as of old. It is hardly true; for multitudinous as the book-^ are, children only value and love what assimilates itself to their minds. The disadvantage of the multitude is, that a sluggish or fiivolous minded child reads notliing else, and keeps down to their leveL It is a real lowering of the faculties to confine a child to books of fiction, history, and science, written doivn to it. It fails to learn the meaning of language, and finds " grown-np books " difficult and incomprehensible, even when outgrovving childhood, and sinks down upon the novrl, because the powers have never trained themselves to attend to anything that stretches them. Careful ['areiits once made it a rule to let their daughters read nothing they had not read theiiiSelvos. Nothing could be wiser ; for not only was tlie quantity diminished, but moreover, much was weeded out that, though not exactly haimful, was undesirable. The rule is even more expedient now, for the foolish notion that didactic stories must be dull ha^ made people absolutely proud of themselves for writing a perfectly unmeaning story, or one that exalts naughtiness into a sort of heroism, and represents llie authorities as tedious, hateful inflictions. The stories that should be avoided arr^, firstly, those that most improperly and mischievously depreciate governesses and make them bores, and that represent a'lnts and uncles as uni- formly unjust and ciuel to orjihan wards. The cruel step- mother is gone out, the unjust aunt is come in her st ad. The writers of' such stories, in ttie wish to be pathetic, thoughtlessly add fresh stings of terror to orphanhood. 64 WoMANKI^a N«xt, I o^'jrct to t'.io conclusion to wliich theiie orphans generally U;u«i, iiami'ly ihit of t!ie novuL The pn>Uc ing cousin olniost alway.^ tt:r:n into tlio luv -r : att|>oar, tUo mu-t nmiablo Iml of iUo i/ramotit jKr.iontr is euro to nia'ry lUc liuroine nt last. Now inf.mtinv a taclinjf'nt* imw and tUaii rij-cu, bnt tln'y oii;,'lit no^or t'» bo shown to cl'il'Ireu. It c.t;i oitly tend to do harm, ami that to the w(a\'«fr aud laoro p^xHsive par'y, namidy tlie {"irl, who may droam over the i.o<..-ibility, whih' tli» Im»v trra's it uU a< ** • •"'■ '" i\Dothor 8'ani)) of book to he ntoidil is the ttfak r*'. talo. Mc»jt vuiirtirs of rfll'^i-Mn |»u!.Ii»hi r-« |»onr forth »t.»ri«*i» and titty tract* Uiot do not ^o much tiui.h r- li^ion as i»ariy distinctionSb Thry nro gnnorn'ly written with the bout askit)<^ {itoi'Io wliclhcr they are Cliristian', or tNo in ih«* o<|unlly nrinntuml one who b always talking abiut its n'hito n.Ix'f. Ifoth alike die you n;^, and aro equally unr>nl and un|>nt> t rnl. Most girls have a ht of inia^^inin^' surh childnn, and unfi>itu- liatdy too many gi-t them f'tilched up into pi ik and blue covers, ami scut forth a^ fupposrd {^ootl IxH^ks, only to serve ai trash, instead of bnail, f't Siinda)-8 hool childr«'n, and to sitklify and 8outim«'»italiso ^imxI prls; while they are the derision of all the stroiig»'r mindnd. The rvlij^'ious tale, above all, needs to be in the hi sf, — not the wo-st— of wrilinj; ; and the same applieu to the alh'gory. Very fi>w are n-ally g.Mwl. and have any point; the others ore mere dilutions of what ouj,'ht to he taken as near the genuim^ article as ihk-vhiMo. It is not po sndd*>n a transition as it seenis, to apply tho panic nde to fairy t-ilps ; for a g'K>l fairy talo is oltt-n an allegory, or an old n)>th, oi-.ro alh'goti.-id. For thin class, tho g( i nine old ln.\th-|iko /irauii/ and tht Beast, Cimferflla-j Puss in liovU, and the ld;o, 1 liavo the deep rospoct bt'fiiting a cla-sic ; but I hive nonw at all for tho nibilraty mo^Urn fairy tale, now po Uitich the fashion. Fairies have a genuine classical gencalog**, and to di-iturb that is n-ally a pity. Bt^sidts, too much of iuipossible uureiJiiy teudti to children's rLCASunE3. 65 prorJuro a morljid craving for exciteuicut, and a tas'e capable ouly of novel-r. aJ ng. iJurlesque and caricilurf, and alx)V9 all, elan;:; litoraturp, are in tlie Patiie way unfit for chiMrt-n ; and the love of exciting adventure may likewise grow exag.icratcd. There are, in fact, two classes of tastes in fiction — that for character, and tliat fur adventure. Cliara'ter-lovin;^' girls some- times get self-conscious, and L-arn to look at themselves as if they were sitting fur their portiaits in a story ; and the adventure- lovers fall into the condition of Leech's Master Jacky, when " he has read all the books in the liouse," no aullior being approved but Mayne lieid ! Perhaps a very slow child, that can hardly be got to read at all, or a very m*rourial being who wdl n» v»r sit still, must be bribed by unliuiitt-d choice of wliatever is innocent and free froui vulgarity, f -r the sake of public peace; but ihe ordinarily iiitf-Uigeiit cliild, with a heidtliy appetite for books, had bett«'r be l';d towaids the desirable ones, and s;ived from frivolity. An over-tasked girl, who is doing le-sons to the full powers of her mind, cannot be expected to repose upon anything but story- books; but she would have more training for the future if she were obli;^ed as a net i-ssity to do 1« ss, and encouraged to rend something improving in part of her Lisire time. She will cea^e to do lo^-sons, but she ought never to cease from rational reading. It is a good plan to make the amusing b^ok, especially when it is an}thing extra, conditional upon the previous leading of something solid, wheth»-r history or science. My allowance wa« a chapter of Goldsmith's liuine, to a chapter of Waller Scott, each da}'. And 1 believe it is the wis'\«»t way to let there be a free run of Scott, Shakespeare, Sp-nser, and any other really 8«juud English clasic, in which I lio not include modern novels, nor the Dickens school. The r. al romance does not do the harm that the baby novel does ; the taste is formed, familiarity with noble and elevating ideas aud beautiful language achieved, aud F 6€ WOXAXKIXO. tho undt-HiriMo i»i«aig«4 Are far Irta perceive 1 thaa tbrt an laU*r in lif<3. Tho cliiM kno«vs tliora are tliioirt it cannut iin»t.i»<"l, nnlit |iart of the rtlocatioo of rv«Ty niiinl • »'r. Th«' into chiMith (iii«linance of chivalry are cnn|t«>nial to the young 1 f II. l>u noi »|>ud it and tio it d>>wn, or y<>u will only g«, in the j r wnt Innhion. May the hittrr n«*Ter lie encoum^'<-d in o«ir chiMrvn! Fori/ M rtP •■ r«N««l % expn-Snioim, i of *hai subject of uirrrinii iiL Thw olhor ' ^ of ^irlt ar*» ntrnr ■ n* <.f .lo-.r ex'-r !^\ of the Itlle |>i. after }o.»r« lM->;innii)g altnuly. I'* l^ .vni go«il for Ihfm, i/ — and a g^at "if* it ia — they can be pio{)rrly Ktt4>tidi>dlcwi>rk l\ to almo-t all gwU at this a^^, a no«Nifal tn«k. I'o oidy a few is it a plcoiiun*, and t' ' •< a »ort oi maiia for fancy work, upon whi.h tl. _ .. ., • p^nenUly needs to b**, " IWgiu uoihii)^ ul wlticU ]vu Lave aul well CO iMi tiered Uie tud." TDK TELN-3. C7 CHAPTER IX. TUK TEr.NS. Up to tho n^p of fifteen or sixteen, chiMliood, jlepondcnl on others, properly lasts. Aft«*rwar»J8, the rtlutiou to thinpa Bpiritiiiil Jwcomcs closer and more direct ; and while still under obftlierice to puivnts, tutors, and governors, the nature is in a manner outgn)wing tliem. The character is, as it were, to be formed between (speaking reverently) Go«l and itst'lf. NoWly else can do it It has been truly siiid that we may make our- selves what we please between fifteen and five-and-twenty. Of course, what we an; and what we wish U) lie depend much on the Wnt given in earlier years ; but it is also the case thai if that bent has been an und»sirablM one, or we find our ways such as we disapprove, bmI (»ur tniiiiing dtfifient, there is st 11 time V> take ourselves in hand bef.ire the real bu-iness of life b»*giii8, and do the work for ours»dveg. Or if, far ha(>pier, we have been tniined in the way iu which we shouM gf>, we have oidy to walk in it as olwdiently but with more iiit lli^ence, and becoming more and more able to see over the hedges that guard it on cither nido. It «loos often hapuen that ronfirmation is the stai ting-point in life. The Gracn then imparted is spiritual strength to thoso who have the will to use it Moreover, the previous preparation is, or ought to be, of a much deefwr ang h»fac« ; dov Ui6 lii;^'hi-r law ut fciL Vi ' ' ! woji nun •)!« wm •t«>iii|* rii^'lit if iiIm^ woa I'I* I Now ihrt thouf^ht i>t |il-«i»ii>K (tixl tiA4 r«)fne ki^t'i'rM hrr tnoro fully tlian boforr. "To t-xaiiiiiiM thfiiiiMlvi'4 «hpih«nt ilnm liuljr," i* ito lon^rr only the pijjual that th« C'atrviiuini u over, bliii|; to • far luom ar <■ etitiiiiale of rit^ht ai>tl wrong tli«ii wi>rn • few luoiitha )- the kiiowlrd^ uf the family aitil eL-hoolruoui code wu sul' giiiilif to «lut> an I coitH'iriirr. Happy lie) o who have l>a< to obv'y in< re int* Ilitrrtitly •nd «iih a J«««>|vr im*i>w of ol>l pitiun, artil who e conarioocw eon- tiiMH'H to W k'"< '••'! hy the • " t p«>n-«'pti«>n*, wilh fnthrf and : •! judgi-t ff what i« goo>l and right, ruling the mind and opinioor as wi-11 a.4 thr ai'iiitrm. Of cour'O ilim tannot alwaya be the c««». No prwin ia infallihlo ; ami in (he prvwmt day, it ha« bucome m> luurh th« cuAtom t) entnm' the eilumtinn and rrlipon* traintnt*. evrn of girU, to out«id> r', that it •* n<>t in thr> ha>t to t»r> won>i*r«Ml at that their opinionn and ttt Aiid.irdit nhouM not \m uniforndy aftrr the {>nrrtit;d pciltcrn. The father and niothrr who have ncircrly uicddh>d with th>-ir daii^jhtrr'a rrl'-^notm iimtniction ainoe it wns pntty to In ar hrr li«p t'»«r hynin^, have ' • nl to know thnt tho j»i>vrn»»*i» "nail wiih her," a»«d t; . it her to Iho youn;; l«dy (vontirmation clasMV, are ottrrly takrn aback wlu'n they find her n ( .^ Arc, an» on i» iiiuih t;" ■ v WfPo youn}». It wouhl not havo U-vn so if thny hml tiinj;ht hrr t' ' • * Tlion they would have had th«'ir niinds alive to the h of relif^ious thonjjht, and would have U-on with her at ertry stop, either dirwctin;^ or acronipanving the lienl of her n-ind, and at any m'e rfm:uning the mould of h'-r opinions. Itut it is not 80 mu^h in the pareiils that I want to live now, TOE TEn.VS. 69 a^ in tlio yonng girl just come to the secoiwl piriol of liff. For 'iius would I (livitit? most lives: the perio 1 of being mouMeJ hy otliei-s, iU*' pfiioil of mouliling ourstlves, the period of action, the perio I of iiiHiifncr, the jK^riod of ust These last throe ar.i in fajut study that witli lur will have c.ii-sed to bo compul-Hory ; and yet, wliere ho does do his Im st and tiikes an iiiten'st, ho si creeds belter than she do-s, either from mjwou- Ime force or bt-iiig more trained to woik. His f>-say will be lietter constructed and more l.ngi.uil tliau Ikth ; if ho Uikes »ip a mol«rn language in ejxrnest, he will actjuire as niucli in one vacation as she in a year or two ; or if ho have a tit of botany, he will go down to first |»rin, with more or lesi solid maUrial at tlio bottom ; an intensity of everything lH)th of hope and fear, joy and grief, restlessness an herself. If she is at eas-, her eagerness generally makes her commit herself by iRTtness— if shy or rcM rved, flic falls into the miseries of embarrassment Her inexpL-rlonco tries cxperi- UK-nta that become the laughingstock of the family; her TO WOMAN KLXD. en;*rrnci» importune* tho el«li*n ; in fart, nothin;; }nit th« h'v^h •piritu of her ii;;n War ht^r thnni;*)) the oiiUK-m cvMtntrmpt to Krhich h»T un«lfV«|()|»«Ml nfn' » lior. Thr iifxt two or thn?«' nr v h^r huniMt ymmof iitiiilT, at a (^oo«| HclitM)!, with a t nr with nti ' Kven if ber faiiiily )mi iiriiM ...^ ■ ..Apttolin • f<- thut now i>hn inu»t inakr tho mmit of her tiiiir. und hrinu' K up to tho onliimr'. iit th«< (^rtatof in ^ , . founhin;*. an«l I ail) not writin>{ for loirh %•* ^>' ■['■<■ • •• in »uch a «loom of diilt -« 'J'ho wonlit nmr xtartlu thi'Ui an th«t u tlio ilulK>t thin); in the worhl. N«>ihiii;; hnt arrioun rniph»y* iiuMit ran ;;iv«» wvt to recrrntii»n, t»nly a rral purj><>«o of touJ wciirt' n .*i'ii»e of vatirty and |>»»wrr «>f (>'ayfuliK>Aii. The cing ready to command a Tnc rEF.N'3. 71 hoti'?chol(1, nnrso a sick person, ami mamsp a Simlav- school, by natui-o — in fact, sho is generally the ouly iHirsuu yifted with presence of mind or common sense. Now what should the pos.-iMe girl be ahle to do when the Beho«»lroooru life ends I Acconling to our notions, she ought to have been thoroughly well groiimlcd in what is culled an Knglish eilucatioti, and know i'rench almost m >»t'll as her own language. If t»he a'so knows I^tin grammar, and can construe a tolerably easy classic correctly, so much tlie belter. German or Italian, or both, ought to have l>een begun, ami brought to a state in which she can keep them up by ma'iin;}, if no muster bo attainable. So with exact 3;ience. slie viust have li-arnt enough to work with, and ouglit Uy know .sometliing of the higher branches. If she have the jM»wer, to go in o a'g^•l•^a and mathematics ia now a very benclicial stu ly, and one much to be commended for the training in thought It is one, likewLie, in which the fenial) uiind can reach a very fair level, and which is so progns ive, and 80 much connected with science and discovery, as t^j be full of new interest^. But it is almo»t impossible to ^ome intellects therefore n-t to be univer-ally reco:nm?ncled. History whould Ikj known by this time, so far as that the outlines of English and ancient history should Im thoroughly familiar, and that namis and dutes should be known bc\onil conlusion, French hi-t"ry should likewLe be known, partly ns a k»*y to that f>f other Kunp. an 6t;;tc8. And there should bo an ii.telligent idea (f the general course of Euroi>oan events ; but the details may remain to be obt lined by the riieody reading of a portion every day, or what wo.'? once kno\*n will so-ui become misty ; and it is really iraportarit to be thoroughly ac ces^iors in the Church, that these studies are almost c.^sent'al to the forniation of the chaiactcr. As to accomi>lishments, it is well that the grammar of both {uabic and drawing, and a certain facility ot mechanical exccutiuD TJ WoMAJtKIXft •rt, llio g>rl of aevetitfwn will of eouiM haw {*nnifM to tur f»culiir«, that thrj oa)(ht by do mmn* to U nrj;Ut«| ■!,»'. •••«... . . .. ,^ gl^ •liouM kiioir h>tu .to •nlor tiit>> ihfl (.harm u( m . ixiv t' 'Vrr*, apan;** fumittirr, at)il ctH*iHM) .li. ■ . ^.;hlat«>t: *. to ofTrii ' •' - 0J9 ; anil tho will ufi«n !■• at a 1o4M %t ah- '. uab|jr,'* and to giro iut'-Uixvnt aid if iim«Im1 in (*Iiq eh iiiuiiic, «»cn t" ■ ' Kithrr of til- {>iir«u«Hi or Irt aluno sfltT the g'O mdwurk ba« bv«Q laid, accurd* ing ti iho Ix-nt «>f lh« |>o*. !"'•«. 'Iho rttr char^;^, tho pupil should l« turiixl out wiib all hrr fa>ultir« of mind a*id bod/ in the b^t WMrLiii}* orJrr |Mf»i)>|M to Ihrin, with the grontxiworlc lai>l, and an iiit«>lh'^'«M)t powrr of at'rotii>n nt^T»d on that stiige which will i- a nnnner endure for the nei>t of t rir lives, an<1 I thpn'''on' > ite r.i her to them than of lliera. 'iliis ^H.Tiiritual sense so clear that they can p«Tceive and rejoice in (lod's prijsenco and coiisulition, and f.el ii}vigorutiro io all that rvlatis to Ilini, and feel that interest outwe gh all oth» r-t — living their Kverlxsting Life, as it vriro — consciou ly and naily longing for Heaven. Tiiese characters are, however, rare ; and much di.-treRS has b* en cauwd among many by the n fu.-al of a certain school of thought to acknowli«!g«» any p<•r^oll to l>e religious who is not coriMritms of having realiz*-d tliat the AUjnoment is i>erHoiially R|plied to his individual sins, and has not gone through a keen 8eii-o of sin, h< ' ' -■>, and rli f. Very c<>uccientiou8 minds, of s'rong : truth, have ofun suffered t^'rrihly from ])eing unable to work thenis- Ivea np to this ctioisof feeling, although their faith a.d tru-t may Im; deep. Dutiful na'ures, absolutely shrii.king from wilful evil, and mo-t anxious to ol>ey and fulfd their own sense of right, are often despised and treated a-< under the bondage of the I^w, jiutting their tru.>-t in their own work-", «S:c. But it is a Kafi-r way of looking at it, to regard theui as o>jeei-il in tlio i>l«Mi«un'ft of tho inoiiHMit, only di>sin>U4 to aToitl »liat«'vir 01-eni.s to them dull, di'|irrs-tin}», or rcstraiuing. And, of coiir*f, most people htlong a litth', nioro or Icm, to oai:h aort. Kven the h>vinj^ los«', for a tiin", ihfir k«'on wniirt of »piritu il tliiri^*-*. and mt'tl tho biaciii},' of iluty nful f.-ur of wrutli to kn-p them f'om InpHos; the dutiful win gleams of heavenly li^ht and longing on their best nide, and, on thrir »<>rsl,ar«> t«"riiptid to r«*!»i^t every fre^h th'munii which |)>iiii iplc inaken on th<-iu, to do or not to do; while even tho can-leM iihrink from some evils, and are at times awakened to tKou.'ht^ of b<-tt4>r tiling*. Sitcrnnient^ arc a&suretlly the f^nai means of giving, Qpholding, aiid niaint lining the Hpiritual life. The npiriiually mint them Ijo suio that if they do not /^el i)\e belter, they wouM s;M*edily i^ the wor^o without thi'in, and that to go patiently on bit ding tho att>-ntion, if nothing el.4o c:in Iw b«>uiid, is tho wny to win tho inwnrd insight at last, though p< rhaps not 1 11 somo external shcck have lessened iho charm of earthly things. There is a dangtr greater than theirs — tha^ namely, of tr.king iiitclluotual or a'sthetio interest in Church ordinances 'or devotion — yes, or menly tho excitement rreated by what luu-t be calhd '* rcl'gious di«t»i|KitioM." In a 8«>cluilcd parish, or a strict fan. 11 v. the Chunh services often form the only variety or intut the seed without depth of eaith, which wiihertth away. Yet the seaiity earth may be deepened, and become a fruitful soiL And how ? IJy dihris of weeds. Each temptation over- come deepens the soil, and gives a hold to the root. The grent tffort must be, not to dread or shun the services for fear of unreality, but to bring the life up to them, and to bridle tli« tongue. To lake the fi-iust without the fa>t is a dangerous thing, untl one to which we are far too prone ; fur unluckily, we havo not only our own selHsh solves in the way, but the world \a tar nmre angt-red at fii-sting than at feasting, and ob.stastinence is not u^»mI, and ther«i is no Siifeguard against relig ou l>eeuming only exeitenjent ami dissipation. This has berome even more nrce.«y!ary, so far as character and training are concerned, V)y the relaxation of strictne.ss on Sunday. If the gravity and severity of the Lord's I)ay 1)0 changed lor pleasure, and the Church services become (and litly too) deliglits to the eye and ear, there is none of that bracing which tho I'uiitanically inclined Christian had in giving up all secular recreation and listening to unornamented services. No ; a Catholic Sunday of joy is only safe when preceded by a Catholic Friday, marked by the avoiding of some ordinary indulgence, the choice of some graver or more distasteful duty. If heads of families would aVstain from Fii-lay parties, and housewives make it pos.*ible to fast at meals without attiacting observation, the^ a&sislance to the young would be great. iJut where this is not the household rule, it is still possible to every- ,T6 WOMAXKIITD. one to abstain from something prcf«Mrf1, an 1 to do sonielhin^ less agri'« a])le. oa a siiniilo act of olKili.nce lo tliu Church uud th(j Cluirch's Head. The real niatt>T to remptub^r is, that the swett cannot be laken wiihout tln) bitter. Chnnh-gniiii,' n,nd church decoration become a mere indulgence and exciioiiM-nt, unli-ss they be accompanied v/ith steady liahils of j)rivat«f pnyer, self dis ripline, duty te jtoor, and Ijiidhng the tongnp. And often the per.-on who ite than she can be who indulges in far more obiervance, his far niort) know- ledge, and intinitvly more chatter and ciitirisni, yet who uniformly ''slirinka when hard service must be done" — nay, rather dnanis of future hard sIF to another ]>ut there is a standard re(iuired by the Church of all who ■would not lose their outwnrd membership with her, and this is — according to her requirements as expressed in the Prayer- book — Communion three times a year, and attendance at public Avorship on Sunday. This is the lowest rule she acknowledges, as the test of actua visible union. The true inner life and perpetual stniggle with sin require far more ailment, and the faith infinitely more support, than this, which is, in fact, fi.^ed at the lowest rate for external practical purposes. Her rules for such members as wish to be trained up within her, are morning and evening prayer, frequent Communion, and the due observance of Sundays, Fea.-ccu the Lopo of being Queen of Naples. YOUNG LADYHOOD. 83 Bn.t some ■^rlll say these arc matters of right and vrron.cr, not of learning and study. Ay ; but there are cases in which a cr.inip(id uncultured mind is incapable of judging what is riglit or wliat is wrong, like the good mother in Uanbury Mills, who was strictness itself in household honesty, yet was undisturbed by the dishonourable action that preyed on her husband's life. And as Archbishop Dupanloup has pointed out, the most excellent and pious of women lose all the power they might have in dealing with the men of their family, if their minds are too limited to comprehend the force of the difficulties that are felt, and if they cannot understand or sympathize with bri.thcr, husband, or son. " My dear, I can't bear you to talk in that horrid way. It makes me quite miserable. I'm sure it is wicked." This may silence the speaker in the lady's presence, but will do him no good, but rather make him connect her principles with her silliness. Sclioolrooni studies cannot raise the intellect enough to prevent this contraction. They cannot possibly go far enough in the time, and even if they did so, it is constant use of the powers that is needed, not only dead acquirement unquickened by exertion. ISIoreovcr, the mind is capable of taking in and digesting much naore eifectually in youth than in girlhood. And apart from the desire of usefulness, far more liappiness is laid up for after years by a person who occupies her mind than by one who merely devotes herself to the pleasures of youth. Distresses, illness, nervous ndseries, tedium, all may be mitigated by the power of being interested in some intel- lectual pursuit. Even those whose abilities are not great can wonderfully improve and mature their powers, and keep themselves interested and amused in no small degree, if they have fostered any intelligent and industrious habits in their earlier days. Different dispositions must train themselves according to their own experience ; but it seems to me an excellent rule that there should be no novel touched in the forenoon, except in a language so unfamiliar that it becomes an exercise. Some portion of a solid book should be read daily, either of G 2 84 WOMANKIXD. history or science ; there should be some Iceeping np of lanc^uagoa and of accomplishments. The language may often be keijt up by teaching a younger one, or hearing her read. Or a new language may be studied where there are facilities and there is a turn that way. German is too difficiilt to be really acquired in the schoolroom without peculiar advantages, and much more study needs to be spent on it afterwards, if its strength and beauty is to be really appreciated. Italian, too, can be easily learnt enough to read a plain narrative in it ; but to enter into Dante requires a full-grown mind. Latin and Greek, too, may be studied more effectually after eighteen. ' Perhaps the best way is to go up for the Cambridge Examina- tions. As these are conducted in writing, and are not competi- tive, they do not seem to me to involve anything unfeminine or undesirable ; and the benefit of having a well-considered scheme and system given, and of being stimulated to work for an object, is very great. It is very desirable that all who are educated up to the needful point should work for it. It requires, however, an amount of previous good teaching and ability, and also of leisure, which would put it out of the reach of many ; but even these should not sit down content to be idle and trifling, but make it a duty to lea'n something, practise soinelhing, obtain some step in self improvement every day, either carrying o i the study they liked best, or filling up the most serious gap in their education. Ihe self-command of setting oneself to work, and the perseverance of continuing it, would be great gain, even without any further result. Essay societies are useful in supplying object and stimulus, but they will not serve alone, as it is in their nature to be discur- sive. Their name is rather unlucky, as it leads young people to set to work on abstract subjects, on which they have not much worth saying, instead of going into positive matters of fact, on which they should collect iuformatiou. Music and drawing, to those who have a turn for them, may now become arts instead of mere mechanical exercises. This U, in fact, a valuable period of life to those who arc wise enough n^t to fritter it away. cuAniiY. 85 CIIAITER XIL CHARITY. N'oBODT can "be really tiyiiig to live a leli'gions life wlio does lot "remember the poor." Alm>;giving is, without a doubt, closely connected with godliness throughout the Holy Scriptures. The mode of doing so is the question ; and there is nothing upon which ways and means so vary — from the clergyman's daughter, whose daily occupation is necessarily among the villagers, to the London girl, who is denied all access to them. This entire seclusion frum all means of reaching the poor, except perhaps an importunate flower-girl at a carriage window, is, however, far less frequent than it used to be, and is seldom found in the uppermost classes. Even where it is thought unadvisable for their daughters to have anything to do wilh the London poor, the country life of the summer and autumn brings them in contact with the cottager.*, and they generally have a warm interest in their own parish. Those who have least opportunity are the daughters of wealthy, and sometimes of professional, persons, whose out-of-town life is spent either abroad or at watering-places, where they feci no local interest nor duty. Their parents, not having been accustomed to poor people, distrust and dread them, and prohibit all such work as the London clergv could put into their daughters' hands ; and there are no opportunities in their v.'ay, as it seems, of doing good. Many girls, full of the fresh impressions of their Confirmation classes, and whose books teach them that charity is a duty, are rendered very unhappy by being thus withheld, and are puzzled as to where the duty lies. It seems to he clear that almsgiving, up to the tithe of the means, is a duty. A tithe of the aUowance is God's part. This may be given through the Offertory. A part will of course 86 WOMANKIND. SO be given ; and If lliere be no opportunity of (direct bestowal on the poor, another portion can be spent in the purchase of materials to be made up at home for Missions — home or to the heathen — Orphanage:^, Creohes, or the like. Such gifts to the struggling Missions in large towns are invaluable to the over- worked toilers in parishes consisting wholly of the poor, with no admixture of the rich. To spend a daily hour in making up children's clothes, for such a purpose, would be a most whole- Borae exercise for the young lady who longs to find means of usefulness ; and it is not difficult to discover opportunities of bestowing them on institutions where they will be distributed properly. To be thus isolated from direct contact with the poor is not, however, the usual lot of young ladies. Those who have homes, either in country towns or the country itself, usually are alloAved, and for the most part encouraged, to be useful to their poorer neighbours, so long as they do not obtrude their doings, or upset the family by them. Indeed, it often happens in these days, that the mother who in her youth had to fight a battle to be allowed to minister to the poor, finds that her daughters view "pottering about the cottages" as Mamma's dull notion of occupation, and talk the modern jargon about Sunday-schools being an infliction. It is quite true that district-visiting is much better in the hands of the middle-aged than of the very young. The regu- lation of it is necessarily in the hands of the Incumbent ; and he would never by preference assign a district to a young girl alone, though where it is the choice of such a one or nothing, he may be forced to do so. The best way would be to assign a girl as a helper to each elder visitor, who would make her helpful, let her supply gaps, and use her bright youthfidness to cheer the old, while letting her serve an apprenticeship, and keeping her from places where she can only do herself and the people harm. Unluckily, girls do not like apprenticeship. The younger and more inexperienced they are, the more they want to act for CHARITY. 87 therogplvcs ; and clergymen's daughters are apt to imagine that their fathers' position confers an authority by which a chit of eighteen, Avho perhaps has not been three months in the parish, miiy assume dominion over a lady, who foi twice her life-timo has been doing real and earnest work among the poor. It shi)uld ever be remembered, that charity is not charity, unless on all points it follows St. Paul's pattern in 1 Corinthians, xiii. The clergyman must of course hx the system and the rules, but his daughter ou;^'ht to be specially cautious against the temptations to domineering and self-importance given by this reflected dignity. In country parishes where there are several families of gentry, the system of allotment of districts by the clergyman is re- quisite, to prevent some families from being overhelped, and to hinder a habit of begging, which is one of the most ruinous that the poor can fall into. Where the gentry frequently change, and there is no regular system, it is certain that there will be some lazy and plausible women who will besiege the new comers with tales of distress. It may nearly be taken as a rule that those who so come are the least deserving, and that the only way not to do harm is to promise to consult the clergyman, and to give no aid previously. Indeed, it is a fatality, observed by old inhabitants, that new settlers are sure to fall in with the forward and smooth- toiigued paiishioners, and be taken in by them. It is well if the disgust that ensues does not extend to the struggling and independent poor. Cottage visiting should be regulated with a due regard to the circumstances. INIere visits, where there is no special cause, are not always desirable from lay callers, especially the very young. A call with a purpose is one thing, a mere dropping-in is another. Where there is that sort of ill-health that requires dainties, or can be cheered with reading aloud ; where there are collections to be made for clubs or missionary societies ; where children's absence from school has to be inquired into, or their promotions explained — all these are good reasons for a visit : 88 WOMANKIND. Init one mle cannot be too stron;^ly impressed : cut short tte conver.-^ation, and f!,o away, the moment there is any tendency to talk of the neighbours. Very few peasant women have any notion of governing the tongue, or of accuracy ; and if they once are allowed to run on and discuss the gossip of their fiatnlct, there is no saying what scandals they may pour forth. Old women are the worst ^'n this respect. They have grown up in coaiser and more uneducated weary manhood. Th^i disadvantage lay in the temptation to weaker natures to become helpless and sentimental, if not affected. Charity was certainly cripfJed by the resolution to see nothing that ought not to be seen; and the persuasion that it would be absolutely wrong to go where vice or rudeness would be encountered — a sort of offence against one's own modest dignity, and against the guardianship of father or husband. Mxich. in the Avay of kindness, and something in the way of teaching, was done ; but great effort?!, such as those of Miss Nightingale or Miss Eye, never could have been thought of ; and for a lady to penetrate the back slums of London, or even to keep a night-school for lads, or to train the Church choir, would have been thought ', uufeminine. REFINEMENT AND FINERY. 103 The doors have been opened. Girls have a much freer, bolder [•fe, far less hampered by scruples. Waltziug has become so universal, after long protest atid resistance, that most of my younger readers will stare at the bare notion of any objection thereto ; hunting has ceased to be confined to " the Lady Di Spankers " of society ; real ice skating is as unimpeacliable a I'eminine pastime as walking ; travelling alone is hardly doubted about; and except in very early girlhood, there is really no place into which charity is not a passport for a lady. !Nor do I say for a moment, that such things are censurable. There are many in which custom is really the rule ; but the point to be considered is, where it may safely be trusted. In the first place, all sports which the custom of the time "Appropriates to men, are to be avoided by women. Riding to the meot, and skating, can now be done by the quietest girls ; and other like amusements, where numbers protect one another, and no remark is excited, are harmless, because there is no usurpation of manhood. For my own part, I confess to a great dislike to any woman taldng part in sports connected with the destruction of animal life. Tulerathm of riding to the meet sounds like an inconsistency here ; but it so seldom brings a quiet woman into close quarters with the actual destruction of the fox, that it is little more than an object for a ride ; but the walking out with shooting gentlemen, using a gun, or fishing, must involve so much actual sight of pain, terror, and death, that I cannot imagine how any gentle-hearted woman can endure it. I do not think any amount of custom can reconcile shooting game with true womanhood ; though as to shooting at a targe*^, there is no more harm in doing so with a pistol than in doing so will a bow and arrow ; and there may be moments when the knowledge how to use a weapon may be needful in self-defence. Lut as to the fashion of Avomen looking on at pigeon-shooting matches, it is absolutely hateful. It is a base cowardly sport for men themselves, devoid of all the exeicise and spirit of the chase, which partridge-shooting has, and pheasant-shooting used to have before battues set in ; and ladies ought to use all their lOi WOMANKIND. influence acr^inst it, rallier than enconngo it by lonkinrr coolly on at the fhilteiing agonies of dying birds. It is tlie tii'at stage towards a bull-figlit. I know I shall much ofTend many of my readers by saying that I think men have done much to lower the tone of refine- ment in women by making thetn submit to smoking. Forty or fifty years ago the gentlemen I knew best (officers in the army, some of them) would have no more thought of accustoming their ■wives, daughters, or sisters to the smell of smoke than they would to the atmosphere of a public-house. They would have thought that something of the woman's grace was lost by treating her with the disregard thus implied, and that they failed in respect to her sex. Most gentlemen were of this mind ; they seldom smoked themselve'^, and when their sons took up the practice, forbade it in the house, and were much displeased if they .'■aw it dune before their daughters. Girls, however, are apt to take the side of their brothers when ihey think them deprived of a harmless pleasure. Fun did something, and so did the pleasure and honour of being with a brother; and the young men thcra- felves viewed the parental dislik-e as old-fogeyism, the feminine distaste as simple lidget and selfi-*hness. I have even seen it argued that smoking is no more selfish than tea-drinkiui;-— as if tea poisoned the sweet air all around it, or left; fumes iu rooms and clothes ! I do not Fay the sis'crs wore always wrong. It is better to put S( If aside than to drive away, and lose, a bruther's contidence ; but I do say that the whole tone between man and woman is lower than it Mas in those days, and that the habitual self- indulgence in a free-and-easy custom, hardly respectful, cannot but have assisted in this. The custom has become such that it involves no discourtesy nor disrespect, and very few of our younger ladies would object to it in the open air, or where furniture would not be infected. Indeed we are told that no lady who does not tolerate it can expect to keep her husband or sons at home. If that be indeed the case, she must give way rather than leave them to temptati >n j REFINEMENT AirD FINERY. 105 but r grieve for the loss of the chivalrous tone which upheld wouian's seif-itspect by not tacitly exacting from her the endu- rance of a free and easy habit belonging to times of unrestraint. Of the necessity in damp, unhealthy places, and periods of expo- sure, and the soothing at times of fatigue and nervous excitement, of course every reasonable person is convinced; but apart from this, it seems to me that a woman should use her influence as far as she can against such a useless, and wasteful custom, and try to prevent it becoming almost a necessary of life. And as to the custom creeping in of girls enjoying cigarettes — a thing begun in fastness and fun, and excused by the customs of foreigners — it is one of the readiest ways of uns^-xing them- selves, and losing all the reverence due to womanhood, which reverence is a greater benefit to man than even to woman. After this I need haidly say what I think of the practice of going and sitting with men in their smoking-room, their avowed place of liberty and unre.-traint. We may say we are at home Avitli them anil can trust them. I hope we can, but to follow them into their own peculiar haunts is not lit for any woman or girl, and if she does it in thoughtlessness at firsf, she will either have to draw back, or will have the true charm and grace of her sex spoilt. It is not a boon companion tliat a right- miiuled man wants, it is something to call out his higher feelings of respect and honour. Going about alone in London, walking and corresponding witli young men, &c. — all the many daring things that young ladies attempt out of what they want to consider innocence, but which is really a spirit of defiance and desire of liberty, excite- ment, and even ncitoriety — all these tilings are, when not exactly jierilous, destructive to the gentleness and modesty, which — tell us what modernism will — are the chief grace of womanhood. "The ornament of a meek and quiet spiiit is in the sight of God of great price ; " and woe be to the nation if we women throw it away, on the plea that we can guard our- selves. Guard ourselves 1 Take care of ourselves ! The very idea 106 WOMANKIND. implies danger. Where there has been need of defcnc^, Ihere comes a hardening ; and that delicate bloom of p^-rfect modesty must needs be rubbed off. And it is a far greater and truer grace than any achievement which is at best only a feeble imitation of man. f This is not saying that the woman should be prudish, or helpless, or inactive ; though on the whole, Mrs. Baibauld's mother was right, and prudishness is the better extreme in a girl than fastness, Eeal refinement has the full play of all its facnltifs ; and its very modesty hinders it from dependence and feebleness. It is 80 instinctive, that to lay down rules for it is almost injurious to it. All that can be said i.^, that it is the delicate aroma of Christianity. It shrinks from no la«k, however painful or disagreeable, that ought to be done ; but simply goes through with it. It ma'