Ex Libris 
 C. K. OGDEN 
 
 ', 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES


 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 OP 
 
 SOCIAL LIFE; 
 
 t 
 
 OR 
 
 THE ART OF CONVERSING WITH MEN: 
 
 AFTER THE GERMAN 
 
 3ARON KNIG 
 
 IN TWO VOLUMES. 
 
 B r P. WILL, 
 
 MINISTER OF THE REFORMED GERMAN CONGREGATION 
 THB SAVOY. 
 
 VOLUME THE FIRST. 
 
 LONDON* 
 
 PRINTED FOR T. CADE LI., JUN. AND W. DAVIES. 
 M DCCXCIX.
 
 ?Ti 
 
 ?3 
 
 TO 
 
 v./ 
 
 WILLIAM CURTIS, GENT. 
 
 AT 
 
 HAMBURG; 
 
 THESE rOLUMES 
 
 ARE DEDICATED, 
 
 AS A MARK OF HIS ESTEEM AND AFFECTION, 
 
 THE EDITOR. 
 
 a 2
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 A HE greater part of the subsequent pages, is 
 the result of the observations and experience of 
 Baron KNIGGE, a Nobleman whose talents are 
 justly respected in Germany, where he acted a 
 conspicuous part in the republic of letters, and 
 on the stage of the great world. His active 
 temper urged him with irresistible impetuosity 
 to render .his abilities and scientific knowledge 
 useful to mankind ; but being persecuted in the 
 very beginning of his public career, by the 
 heavy blows of adverse fate, beset by numerous 
 enemies whom his independent spirit and the 
 superiority of his mental accomplishments had 
 provoked,' frequently misguided by his too easy 
 confidence in the rectitude of men, precipitated 
 by his fiery enthusiasm for truth and the hap- 
 piness of his brethren, and an implacable enemy
 
 VI PREFACE. 
 
 to despotism and intolerance, he failed in all his 
 plans to secure a post in which he could have 
 exerted his talents and the benevolence of his 
 heart for the benefit of his fellow-citizens. 
 Aspersion and the persecution of a set of men 
 who hated him, because he scorned to cringe and 
 to be subservient to their selfish views and op- 
 pressions, compelled him to quit his native 
 c'ouhtry, and to become a citizen of the world at 
 large. He rovecl Germany, for some years, ill 
 all directions, sometimes being a visitor of the 
 palades of the great, and sometimes a humble 
 pedestrian, mixing with the middle and inferior 
 rahks; atld exerting all the energy of his mind 
 tb accommodate himself, as much as honesty 
 and the consciousness of his innate dignity would 
 permit^ to the prejudices, customs, and peculia- 
 rities of those with whom he cultivated a tem- 
 porary connexion. This enabled him to ac- 
 quire a most extensive and profound knowledge 
 of the human heart, of its numerous turnings 
 arid windings, of the most effective means of 
 1
 
 PREFACE. Yli 
 
 getting access to it, of the principal causes of 
 the want of social happiness which he discovered 
 in the splendid circles of the great, in the hum- 
 ble habitations of the middle ranks, and in the 
 cottages of the poor, and the most successful 
 means of rendering our intercourse with our 
 brethren more comfortable and cheerful. The 
 acquisition of that useful store of the most va- 
 luable knowledge animated him with additional 
 zeal to contribute his mite to the reformation of 
 our degenerated age, and in this disposition of 
 mind he became more intimately acquainted 
 with Weishaupt and Zwack, the two principal 
 founders of the Order of the Illuminati. Their 
 gigantic plan to collect a host of the greatest 
 geniuses of all ranks and countries around them, 
 to check by the joint efforts of their abilities 
 and power the progress of the growing evil, 
 their pressing solicitations to take a leading part 
 in their confederacy, and the hope of being en- 
 abled by siich a powerful union to employ his 
 talents more successfully for the benefit of
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 mankind, were charms which his heart could not 
 resist. He accepted the offer, and became one 
 of the most active and successful leaders of the 
 union. But alas ! he soon beheld with grief 
 and sorrow that the alluring prospects which had 
 been held out to him, were nothing but a 
 charming dream, and was at last convinced that 
 the society in which he had been received, 
 would never be capable of accomplishing the 
 arduous task which was the primary object of 
 their union, as but few of its members were ani- 
 mated with that heroic disinterestedness and 
 self-denial which were required, if the power in- 
 vested in their hands were to prove beneficial to 
 the world. Party-spirit, arnbition and other 
 passions soon began to undermine the fabric ; 
 caballing traitors abused the power which the 
 society possessed, to revenge themselves upon 
 their enemies, or to satisfy their thirst for domi- 
 nion and wealth. The union, Which might have 
 become a blessing to mankind, threatened to, 
 prove a scourge to every state where its influence
 
 PREFACE. DC 
 
 prevailed ; the knave and the honest man were 
 persecuted without discrimination, and Baron 
 Knigge redoubled in vain his energy and zeal 
 to purify the corrupted society, and to destroy 
 the poison with which it was infected. His ex- 
 ertions were fruitless ; his own associates became 
 his most inveterate enemies, and he saw him- 
 self compelled to renounce all connexion 
 with his corrupted brethren, and to retire to his 
 former seclusion from the world, after having 
 learnt by experience, and at the cxpcnce of his 
 tranquillity and health, that no society of men, 
 how great soever their combined talents, and 
 how well calculated their plans may be, can 
 hope to accelerate the age of general illumina- 
 tion and virtue contrary to the course of nature, 
 which is slow, but progressive and sure ; and 
 that it is more becoming a man who wishes to 
 be happy himself and to promote the happiness 
 of his brethren, to take the world as it is, to do 
 whatever lays in his power to ameliorate our 
 corrupted age gradually, without noise and with- 
 
 2
 
 X PREFACE. 
 
 out relying too much on the co-operation of 
 others, and to counteract the bad effects of the 
 spreading corruption by a prudent and wise 
 conduct, than to convulse the natural order of 
 things by forcing more light upon our cotem- 
 poraries than their weak eyes can bear. Actu- 
 ated by this dear-bought experience, he now 
 confined himself entirely to the exertion of his 
 literary talents, and dedicated the rest of his 
 life to the laudable employment of circulating 
 in his writings rules of prudence, the practice of 
 which will enable us to avert many of those cala- 
 mities and painful disappointments that are the 
 natural consequences of our want of knowledge 
 of the world, and of the prejudices, the igno- 
 rance, passions, bodily and mental infirmities, 
 vices and the vitiated taste of those with whom 
 we live, and to prosecute our career with secu- 
 rity and success. Of all the books which he 
 wrote for that purpose, none was better received 
 and more generally admired than his celebrated 
 work " On Conversation with Men" (Uber
 
 PREFACE. XI 
 
 clcn Umgang mit Menschen,) which contains a 
 most valuable store of practical lessons of wis- 
 dom, abounds with a profound knowledge of the 
 world and the human heart, and is unanimously 
 allowed to be the best essay on the real Philoso- 
 phy of Social Life which ever has been published 
 in any country. It went through five editions 
 in the course of a few years, and, if I may pre- 
 sume to judge of its usefulness from my own 
 experience, stands foremost amongst all the 
 books which ever have been written to promote 
 social happiness. 
 
 The advantages which I have derived from the 
 study and application of the excellent observa- 
 tions and rules which this work contains, and 
 the salutary effects which I have seen it pro- 
 duce in the life of those of my pupils to whom I 
 recommended it, and who followed the sage in- 
 structions with which it abounds, made me wish 
 most ardently to see it dressed in an English 
 garb, and circulated in a country which is so dear 
 to me, and which of late has naturalized so many
 
 xii P fl E ? A p E. 
 
 infenour children of the German Muse. But * 
 as the original is entirely modified after the 
 local wants, customs, and situation of Germany, 
 and, besides, contains many chasms which I 
 wished to fill up in an English edition, I was 
 obliged almost entirely to new-mould it, in order 
 to render it more congenial to the soil into which 
 I intended transplanting it, to collect the addi- 
 tions which it wanted with care and assiduity, 
 to read all the tooks in which I expected to find 
 materials that suited my .purpose, and to make 
 such observations as would enable me to ascer- 
 tain how the authour would have shaped his 
 rules and instructions, if he had wrote for an 
 English public a task which procrastinated the 
 publication of these volumes more than three 
 years. 
 
 The most valuable additions which the suc- 
 ceeding sheets contain, were gathered from the 
 works of Bahrcl, Zollikoser, Reinhard, Zimmer- 
 man (the celebrated authour of the publication 
 On Solitude) and Fessler names which are
 
 r n E fr A c E. xiii 
 
 
 
 highly respected on the German Parnassus. As 
 for those that are the result of my own reflec- 
 tions and observations, they are too few to add 
 anything very material to the intrinsic merit of 
 these volumes, or to injure the fame of their 
 original authour. 
 
 By giving this work the title of Practical 
 Philosophy of Social Life, I by no means presume 
 to offer it to the Public as a complete system of 
 that branch of philosophy, but only wish that it 
 may be regarded as a collection of fragments, 
 from which some abler hand may hereafter com- 
 pose a structure more deserving of the name. 
 
 As it will J)e my highest ambition to render this 
 adopted child of my Muse more complete and 
 generally useful in a second edition, if it should 
 have the good fortune to meet with a favourable 
 reception, the Reviewers will do me the justice 
 to believe, that I shall feel myself infinitely 
 obliged to them for every candid remark and 
 censure that can tend to open my eyes to its 
 defects ; for the truth is, I do not presume to
 
 XIV PREFACE. 
 
 flatter myself with the idea of having rendered 
 the succeeding volumes as perfect as I could 
 have wished, and therefore do not stand in need 
 of gentle correction. 
 
 MAY 1 8, 1799. P. WILL.
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 VV E frequently see that the most prudent 
 and judicious people take steps in common life 
 which astonish us ; we experience but too often, 
 that men who have a more than common theo- 
 retical knowledge of the human heart, become 
 victims of the grossest imposition ; we have nu 
 merous opportunities of observing that the most 
 experienced and skilful people on common inci- 
 dents apply the most contrary means, and strive 
 in vain, to operate on others ; and notwith- 
 standing their great superiority of genius, fre- 
 quently depend upon the follies of others, and 
 the whims and obstinacy of weaker minds ; that 
 they must suffer themselves to be ruled and 
 abused by persons who possess not half their 
 abilities and deserve not to be compared with 
 them ; whereas others, who are extremely poor 
 jn spirit and 4estitute of all intrinsic merit, ac- 
 
 VOL. I. I)
 
 XVI INTRODUCTION. 
 
 complish things which the wise scarcely dare to 
 wish performing. We see that many an honest 
 man is almost entirely neglected, that the wit- 
 tiest and brightest geniuses but too often act a 
 pitiful part in societies where all eyes are di- 
 rected at them, and all are watching with avi- 
 dity every word they are about to utter ; we see 
 them sit mute in a corner, or hear them utter 
 only common and trivial things, while an 
 inferior genius contrives to combine and dress 
 up the small sum of notions he has accidentally 
 picked up, with so much dexterity, as to create 
 general interest, and to be thought even by sci- 
 entific men, to possess no small share of know- 
 ledge and judgment. We further see, that the 
 most striking beauties are not generally ad- 
 mired, while persons who are endowed only with 
 a small share of personal charms excite general 
 admiration. In short, we observe every day, 
 that the most judicious and learned men, are, if 
 not the unfittest for worldly business, at least so 
 unfortunate as to be neglected, because they 
 arc destitute of the art of showing themselves in 
 
 3 favourable light, and that the most cultivated 
 
 1
 
 INTRODUCTION. XV11 
 
 minds who are gifted by nature with internal 
 and personal perfections, frequently are least 
 capable of appearing to advantage. 
 
 Many people imagine themselves entitled, by 
 supcriour accomplishments, to disregard trifling 
 rules of social propriety and all conventional 
 laws of decorum. But this is a very fatal infa- 
 tuation. We are, indeed, willing to excuse 
 great faults counterbalanced by great accom- 
 plishments, because people of more refined feel- 
 ings most commonly have more violent passions ; 
 but in situations where the latter are not affected, 
 the man of superior rank ought to act with 
 more prudence than a person of the common 
 stamp ; and no one wishing to live and act in 
 society, can be excused for despising its inno- 
 cent customs. 
 
 By this observation however we do not mean 
 to reflect blame upon those that voluntarily 
 resign the admiration of the titled and untitled 
 populace, to which a truly wise man is some- 
 times compelled to have recourse. It is but 
 natural that a man of superior talents should be 
 
 reserved and silent in companies where he is 
 b 2
 
 XVH1 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 not understood ; that a man who possesses 
 genuine wit and a refined judgment, should not 
 demean himself to act the merry-maker in a 
 circle of trifling and empty-headed coxcombs ; 
 it is also natural, that a man who is graced with 
 a certain dignity of character, should have too 
 much noble pride to become an equal associate 
 with every indifferent set of people who are of 
 no importance to him, to fall in with the tone 
 which conceited striplings have adopted on their 
 travels, or that he should bend in obedient sub- 
 mission to all the dictates of ever-changing 
 fashion, which but too frequently receives its 
 shape and form from dancers, actors, and tailors, 
 or is modelled by folly and vice ; it is obvious, 
 that it is more becoming a youth to be modest 
 and unassuming than intruding, arrogant, and 
 ranting, like most of our young men ; that the 
 wiser a noble-minded man is, the more modest, 
 diffident of his own knowledge, and the less 
 intruding he will be ; that the more conscious a 
 person is of intrinsic and real merit, the less art 
 he will employ to exhibit his perfections, as a 
 real beauty despises all those mean alluring
 
 INTRODUCTION. XIX 
 
 artifices of coquetry by which some females 
 strive to attract notice. But of all this we are 
 not particularly speaking here. 
 
 Neither do we allude to the folly of the of- 
 fended pride of those that are actuated by im- 
 moderate and arrogant pretensions, demand- 
 ing to be constantly adulated, flattered and 
 distinguished, and who act but a sorry part 
 on being overlooked ; nor do we speak of the 
 offended arrogance of an absurd pedant, who 
 grows ill-humoured when he has the misfortune 
 of not being known and caressed every where 
 as a great luminary. We also do not animad- 
 vert here upon the consequences of the conduct 
 of the gross Cynic, who according to his Hotten- 
 tot system, despises all rules prescribed in So- 
 cial Life by general consent and mutual polite- 
 ness ; or on the silliness of those eccentric pre- 
 tenders, who presume to be privileged by the 
 imaginary superiority of their genius, to disre- 
 gard all the laws of custom, decorum and reason. 
 And when we assert, that the wisest and most 
 judicious people very frequently miss their aim 
 in conversation, and in the prosecution of
 
 XK INTRODUCTION. 
 
 respect, as well as in civil and other advantages ; 
 we likewise cannot pay any regard to the heavy 
 blows of misfortune which sometimes persecute 
 the best of men ; nor to the effects of an un- 
 happy, passionate or unsociable temper, which 
 in many people eclipses the most excellent qua- 
 lities. This observation rather alludes to those 
 people who combine the best will and sincere 
 probity with very prominent good qualities, and 
 an indefatigable zeal to pass honourably and 
 smoothly through the world, to establish their own 
 prosperity and to promote that of their fellow- 
 men, but notwithstanding are overlookedand fail 
 in their diligent endeavours to effect so laudable 
 a purpose. What is the cause of this pheno- 
 menon ? Of what quality are they destitute 
 which others possess, who, notwithstanding 
 their being devoid of intrinsic worth, attain the 
 highest degree of prosperity ? They are desti- 
 tute of what the French call esprit de conduite, 
 of the art of conversing with men : an art which 
 the blockhead frequently catches sooner with- 
 out studying it, than the judicious, wise, or 
 witty; the art of rendering themselves noticed,
 
 INTRODUCTION. XXI 
 
 distinguished and respected, without provoking 
 envy ; to accommodate the mselves to the various 
 tempers, opinions and passions of men, with- 
 out being deceitful ; to be able to fall in unaf- 
 fectedly with the tone of every company, with- 
 out losing the originality of their character, or 
 demeaning themselves to low flattery. The 
 man whom nature has not gifted with this happy 
 disposition, must acquire by the study of men 
 a certain pliancy, sociability, moderation, for- 
 bearance, self-denial, dominion over his passions, 
 watchfulness over himself, and the serenity of an 
 uniformly equal temper ; and he will obtain pos- 
 session of that useful art which only with jus- 
 tice can be called the Practical Philosophy of Social 
 Life. We ought however not to confound it 
 with that noxious and mean servility of a con- 
 temptible slave, who suffers himself to be abused 
 by every one, gives himself up to every knave 
 to obtain a meal, humbles himself before every 
 powerful wretch to procure some lucrative post, 
 is silent when he ought to speak his mind freely, 
 assists in the execution of roguery, and idolizes 
 titled stupidity. In treating on that spirit of
 
 XX11 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 conduct, which must guide us in our conver- 
 sation with men of all classes, I do not how- 
 ever mean to write a book on the art of compli- 
 menting, but purpose laying before the reader 
 some results of the experience I have had during 
 a long intercourse with men of all ranks and 
 situations. I do not promise to delineate a 
 complete and regular system of Practical Philo- 
 sophy of Social Life, but shall give only frag-* 
 ments and materials which will serve as a basis 
 for further investigation. It is extremely im- 
 portant for various reasons, that a person wish- 
 ing to associate with men and to live amongst 
 them, should study the art of accommodating 
 himself to their manners, customs, tone and 
 disposition ; and of this art I am going to say 
 something. But what calling can I have to 
 write a book on the spirit of conduct /who 
 in my life having so frequently displayed but 
 very little of it ? Docs it become me to presume 
 to dispense knowledge of men, while I myself 
 having been so repeatedly a victim of such im- 
 prudent indiscretion as scarcely could have been 
 excusable in a novice ? Can it be expected, that
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 a man who lives almost entirely secluded from 
 human society, could teach the art of conversing 
 with men ? Let us see, my friends, what I can 
 reply to this objection. 
 
 If through dear-bought experience I have been 
 rendered sensible of my own imprudentfe-* 
 so much the better ! Who is more cojh- 
 petent to warn against dangers than a man 
 who has been involved himself in difficulties ? If 
 temper and weakness, (or should I not rather 
 call it sensibility of a feeling heart, which is al- 
 ways ready to give itself up to others), if a 
 strong desire for the blessings of love and friend- 
 ship, for opportunities of serving others and of 
 exciting sympathy, have frequently promoted 
 me to act imprudently, and to disregard the voice 
 of cool and reflecting reason ; my errors did 
 not proceed from short-sightedness, simplicity 
 and want of knowledge of men, but from an 
 internal impulse to love and to render myself 
 beloved, to be active and to do good. As for 
 the rest, there are perhaps but few men, who 
 in so short a period will be involved in such 
 singular relations and connexions with people
 
 XXIV INTRODUCTION. 
 
 of all descriptions as I have been within the 
 last twenty years ; and should a man be similarly 
 circumstanced, and not intirely neglected by 
 nature and education, he must indeed meet 
 with numerous opportunities in the space of so 
 many years, that will enable him to make obser- 
 vations and to warn against those dangers he 
 could not escape himself. My living at present 
 retired and secluded from the world, is neither 
 owing to misanthropy nor to a silly singularity. 
 I have very important motives for it ; but to 
 deliver them here at large would be speaking 
 too much of myself, especially as I shall be ob- 
 liged, at least, to give some account of my own 
 experience in this Introduction. Therefore I 
 beg leave to say thus much : I was very young 
 when I first stepped upon the theatre of the 
 great world and the court. My temper was 
 lively, restless and easy to be affected, and my 
 blood warm ; the seeds of many violent passions 
 lay concealed within me ; I had been somewhat 
 spoiled in my first education, and had too great 
 attention paid my little person, which induced 
 me to demand too much consideration from
 
 INTRODUCTION. XXV 
 
 those around me. Grown up in a country 
 where flattery, dissimulation and cringing are 
 not much encouraged, I was indeed but little 
 prepared for that pliancy I wanted to ensure 
 success among utter strangers and in despotic 
 states. The instruction of young minds in true 
 policy is frequently very unsuccessful, and not 
 rarely attended with considerable dangers ; our 
 own experience in fact is the best instructor. 
 These lessons produce the most salutary effect 
 (if we pay not too dear for them) and make the 
 deepest impression. My liveliness caused me 
 to commit many inconsistent actions ; I was 
 precipitate in every thing, always doing either 
 too much or too little, ever being too late or 
 too soon ; because invariably, I was about to 
 commit a folly, or had to retrieve one. I gene- 
 rally missed my aim from omitting to act upon 
 a simple plan. When I first appeared at court, 
 I was too careless, too open and unsuspicious, 
 which did me a great deal of injury. I resolved 
 however to become a complete courtier ; my 
 conduct grew artificial, and I lost the confi- 
 dence of good men ; I was too pliant, and this de-
 
 XXVI INTRODUCTION. 
 
 privedme of external regard, internal dignity and 
 self- consistency. Being dissatisfied with myself 
 and others, I grew reserved and singular. This 
 created astonishment ; my society was courted, 
 and my sociability revived again. I renewed 
 my former connexions, discarded my singular^ 
 ties, and thec harm which my seclusion from the 
 world had created and which had attracted the 
 attention of others, disappeared at once. At an- 
 other period I lashed the follies of the times with 
 some degree of wit ; I was now dreaded, but 
 not beloved ; this grieved me; and being de- 
 sirous to repair this loss, I proved myself a harm- 
 less being, displayed kind and benevolent senti- 
 ments, and shewed that I was incapable of hurt- 
 ing and persecuting others But what was the 
 consequence? Everyone of those I had offended 
 by my former conduct, or who imagined them- 
 selves the object of my sarcasms, abused me on 
 seeing me defend myself only with blunted wea- 
 pons which could do no harm. At other times, 
 when my satirical humour was encouraged by the 
 applause of jovial companions, I lashed great and 
 liule fools without mercy ; the wits laughed ;
 
 INTRODUCTION. XXVH 
 
 but those that were wiser shook their heads and 
 treated me with coldness. Being desirous of 
 showing that my humour was not tinctured with 
 malice, I ceased ridiculing others, and palliated 
 every folly. This however made me appear to 
 some a simpleton, while others suspected me of 
 hypocrisy. When I selected my companions 
 from among the most excellent and enlightened 
 men, I applied in vain for the protection of a 
 blockhead who was at the helm of government; 
 and when I associated with people of inferior 
 talents, I was treated as belonging to the same 
 class with them. People destitute of education 
 and of low rank abused me, when I treated them 
 with more than usual kindness; and of thloe of 
 higher rank I made enemies when they offend- 
 ed my vanity. I now made the blockhead too 
 sensible of my superiority, and was persecuted; 
 I was too modest, and experienced neglect ; I 
 accommodated myself to all the peculiarities of 
 my connexions, and fell in with the tone of those 
 indifferent societies I frequented and thereby 
 lost my precious time, the regard of wise and 
 good men, and particularly self-satisfaction; at
 
 XXVlil INTRODUCTION. 
 
 other times I was too artless, and from want of 
 self-confidence acted a pitiful part when I ought 
 and could have shewn myself to advantage. At 
 one period I too rarely went abroad, and was sus- 
 pected of pride or puerile fear of men; at another I 
 shewed myself every where, and was accused of 
 being intruding. While I was a young man, I 
 abandoned myself imprudently and exclusively 
 to every one that called himself my friend and 
 shewed me affection, and was often dreadfully 
 deceived and disappointed in my sweetest ex- 
 pectations ; afterwards I became the friend of 
 every one, and ready to serve any person who 
 wanted my assistance, in consequence no one 
 attached himself to me, because none of my con- 
 nexions valued a heart accessible to any that 
 sought friendship. When I expected too much 
 I was deceived ; and when I gave up all confi- 
 dence in the faith and probity of men, I could 
 enjoy no social pleasure or be interested by any 
 object. The public are not ignorant, that I 
 was active in the association of the Illuminati, 
 as they were called. This union which was di- 
 rected by peoplewho on account of their
 
 INTRODUCTION. XXIX 
 
 rank, birth, civil relations and talents, were 
 classed with the most important men in Ger- 
 many made the knowledge of the human heart 
 a particular object of their study. The person 
 who managed almost the whole affairs of that 
 extensive society (which was my case for a con- 
 siderable time), had, indeed, opportunities of 
 becoming acquainted with people of all ranks, of 
 very different culture and disposition, and to 
 observe .them in various situations; however as 
 the intercourse with most of them was carried on 
 by way of letters only, my practical experience 
 gained in the whole but little by it. The trea- 
 sure I gathered at those courts where I spent a 
 great part of my life, was by far more consider- 
 able. But I must confess, that, although I 
 made many observations at these theatres of 
 folly and deceit, yet I improved but little in the 
 art of rendering them advantageous to myself, 
 as I never could bridle my lively temper so much 
 as to be capable of concealing my blind side 
 so carefully as I ought to have done. And thus 
 did the years elapse in which I could have made 
 my fortune, as it is commonly termed. Now,
 
 XXX INTRODUCTION. 
 
 since I have acquired a more perfect knowledge 
 of men, and my eyes have been opened by experi- 
 ence, which has rendered me more circumspect 
 and capable of operating on the human heart, it 
 is too late to put that knowledge in practice. The 
 ' few advantages I could obtain by it for the rest 
 of my life, are not worth the trouble and exer- 
 tion which it would cost me ; and it is as little 
 becoming a man, whose principles have been 
 fixed by age and experience, to begin at so late 
 a period to grow pliant, as it would be pardon- 
 able in him to turn fop. It is now indeed, too 
 late to begin with the practice of my experi- 
 ence ; however it is not yet too late to point out 
 to young men the path they ought to pursue; 
 therefore let us see what I can do, and come 
 nearer to the point.
 
 CONTENTS OF VOLUME THE FIRST. 
 
 CHAPTER I. PAGE i. 
 
 General Rules and Observations to guide us in our Conver- 
 sation with Men. 
 SECTION 
 
 i VERY man must render himself respected in 
 the world. Application of this Maxim. 
 II. Strive to render yourself perfect ; but avoid the 
 appearance of perfection and infallibility. 
 
 III. Be not too much ihe slave of the opinion which 
 
 others form of you. 
 
 IV. Have confidence in GOD, in yourself, good men 
 
 and fortune. 
 V. Put not to your own account what you owe to the 
 
 merits of others. 
 VI. Conceal your cares when you are not certain of 
 
 finding relief by disclosing them. 
 VII. Speak not too loudly of your prosperity. 
 VIII. Disclose not the defects of your neighbour. 
 IX. Afford others an opportunity of appearing to advan- 
 tage- 
 
 X. Strive to preserve presence of mind. 
 XI. Ifyou-wish for temporal advantages you must so. 
 
 licit for them. 
 VOL. I. C
 
 XXX11 CONTENTS. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 XII. Request and accept of others as few services as 
 possible. 
 
 XIII. Limits of complaisance. 
 
 XIV. Keep your word rigidly on every occasion. 
 
 XV. Be strict, punctual, regular, assiduous, and dili- 
 gent in your calling. 
 XVI. Interest yourself for others if you wish them to 
 
 interest themselves for you. 
 
 XVII. Implicate no one in your private differences, and 
 frequently in imagination put yourself in the 
 place of others. 
 XVIII. Let every one be responsible for his own actions 
 
 while they have no relation to yourself. 
 XIX. Be always consistent and act up to your principles. 
 XX. Strive to have always a good conscience. 
 XXI. Be firm in your conduct. 
 
 XXII. Make a proper distinction in your external 
 conduct between men and men, 
 
 XXIII. Be not too communicative. 
 
 XXIV. Never attempt to render others ridiculous. 
 XXV. Terrify and teaze no person. 
 
 XXVI. All people want to be amused. On joking. 
 XXVII. Quit the society of no person without having 
 
 told him something obliging or instructive. 
 XXVIII. On aspersion, ridicule, and backbiting. 
 XXIX. Be careful how you relate anecdotes. 
 
 XXX. Avoid talebearing. 
 
 XXXI. Be cautious how you censure and contradict others. 
 XXXII. Take heed not to tire the patience of your 
 
 hearers by tedious and prolix discourses. 
 XXXIII. Speak not in company of subjects which in- 
 terest no ore but yourself.
 
 CONTENTS. XXX111 
 
 SlCTION 
 
 XXXIV. On egotism. 
 
 XXXV. Do not contradict yourself in conversation. 
 XXXVI. Avoid tiresome repetitions and sharpen your 
 
 memory. 
 
 XXXVII. Do not season your discourses with duplicities. 
 XXXVIII. Intermix not your discourses with common. 
 
 place expressions. 
 XXXIX. Do not teaze others with useless questions. 
 
 XL. Learn to brook contradiction. 
 XLI. Talk not of your domestic concerns nor of 
 
 vexatious subjects in places of amusement. 
 XLII. On religious discourses. 
 XL1II. Be cautious how you speak of the defects of 
 
 others. 
 
 XLIV. Other rules of prudence. 
 XLV. Remind no one of disagreeable matters without 
 
 necessity. 
 
 XLVI. Take no share in the ridicule of scoffers. 
 XL VII. On the spirit of disputing. Vide Vol. II. 
 XLV II I. Be secret. 
 
 XLIX. On speaking well, and propriety of external 
 
 conduct. 
 L. On various social improprieties and incon. 
 
 gruities. 
 
 LI. How we must behave when others tire us by 
 the tediousness and prolixity of their conver- 
 sation. 
 
 LI I. On ease in conversation. 
 LI II. Take not too great pretensions with you into 
 
 social circles. 
 LIV. On dress. 
 
 LV, Is it better to go often or seldom into company ? 
 C 2
 
 XXXIV CONTENTS. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 LVI. We can learn something useful in any company. 
 
 LVII. With whom are we to converse most frequently ? 
 
 LVIII. On conversation in cities, country towns and 
 
 villages. 
 LIX. On conversation in foreign countries. 
 
 LX. On epistolary correspondence. 
 LXI. How we must judge of men. 
 LXII. Whether the above and the subsequent rules be 
 
 generally applicable ? 
 LXIII. Can ladies act after these rules ? 
 
 
 CHAPTER II, PAGE 74. 
 
 On Conversation with ourselves. 
 SECTION 
 
 I. NEGLECT not conversation with your own self. 
 II. There will be moments when the conversation with 
 
 our own self will be our only comfort. 
 III. Display towards your own person as much prudence, 
 honesty, propriety and justice as you ought to show 
 in the society of others. 
 JV. Take care of the health of your soul as well as of that 
 
 of your body.* 
 V. Have regard for your own person and confidence in 
 
 yourself. 
 VI. Despair not at the consciousness of your defects and 
 
 imperfections. 
 
 VII. Be an agreeable companion to yourself. 
 VIII. Avoid all sort of self- flattery, and show yourself your 
 
 own best and sincerest friend. 
 IXt How we are to estimate our own morality, 
 i
 
 CONTENTS. XXXV 
 
 CHAPTER III. PAGE 81. 
 
 On Conversation with people of different Tempers and 
 Dispositions. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 I. ON the four Cardinal tempers and their mixture. 
 II. On people of an imperious disposition. 
 
 III. On ambitious people. 
 
 IV. On vain people. 
 V. On arrogance. 
 
 VI. On irritable people. 
 VII. On conversation with obstinate people. 
 VI II. On conversation with petu!ant people and such as 
 
 are fond of contradiction and paradoxes. 
 IX. On conversation with irascible people. 
 
 X. On coru'ccsation with revengeful people. 
 XI. On conversation with lazy and phlegmatic people. 
 XII. On conversation with mistrustful, suspicious, morose, 
 and close people. 
 
 XIII. On conversation with envious and jealous people. 
 
 XIV. Rules for counteracting the effects of slander and 
 
 calumny. 
 XV. On conversation with scoffers. 
 
 XVI. On conversation with avaricious people and spend. 
 
 thrifts. 
 
 XVII. On conversation with ungrateful people. 
 XVIII. Against artifice, cunning and insidiousness. 
 
 XIX. On conversation with boasters, braggers and puffers. 
 XX. On conversation with impudent, idle and intriguing 
 
 people, parasites and flatterers. 
 XXI. On conversation with villains.
 
 XXXVI CONTENTS. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 XXII. On conversation with too modest and timid 
 people. 
 
 XXIII. On conversation with imprudent, talkative, cu- 
 
 rious, heedless and forgetful people. 
 
 XXIV. On conversation with whimsical people. 
 XXV. On conversation with stupid, good-natured and 
 
 weak people. 
 XXVI. On conversation with cheerful, lively and saty- 
 
 rical people. 
 XXVII. On conversation with drunkards, voluptuaries 
 
 and votaries of other vices. 
 XXVIII. On conversation with enthusiasts, romantic and 
 
 eccentrical people. 
 XXIX. On conversation with devotees, puritans and 
 
 hypocrites. 
 
 XXX. On conversation with superstitious people. 
 XXXI. On conversation with deists, freethinkers and 
 
 scoffers at religion. 
 
 XXXII. On conversation with melancholy people, lunatics 
 and madmen. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. PAGE 159. 
 
 On Conversation vlith People of a different Age. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 I. THE conversation with people who are of the same 
 
 age with us has many advantages and charms. 
 II. Old people ought not to disturb the innocent sport* 
 
 and amusements of younger persons. 
 
 III. Old people render themselves ridiculous by affecting 
 to appear being young. 
 
 7
 
 CONTENTS. XXXVU 
 
 SECTION 
 IV. Old people ought to render their society useful to the 
 
 young. 
 
 V. It is out of fashion now-a-days to honour old age ; our 
 present generation imagine to be much wiser than 
 our forefathers were. 
 
 VI. Rules for youth in their conversation with old people. 
 VII. On conversation with children. 
 
 CHAPTER V. PAGE 170. 
 
 On Conversation between Parents, Children, and Re- 
 lations- 
 SECTION 
 
 I. Is attachment to our families and country a prejudice? 
 
 On cosmopolitism. 
 II. On the conduct of parents towards their children. 
 
 III. On the conduct of children towards their parents. 
 
 IV. On conversation between relations. A few words on 
 
 old uncles and aunts. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. PAGE 181. 
 
 On Conjugal Conversation. 
 SECTION 
 
 I. A WISE and good choice on concluding the marriage- 
 bonds is the safest mean of rendering conjugal life 
 happy. The contrary produces the most deplor- 
 able consequences. 
 
 II. Why are marriages concluded in younger years with 
 little or no prudence sometimes happy ?
 
 XXXV11I CONTENTS. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 III. Is a perfect harmony of temper, disposition! and 
 
 thinking, of capacities and taste necessarily re- 
 quired to constitute matrimonial happiness ? 
 
 IV. Rules for preventing conjugal society from becom- 
 
 ing troublesome and tedious. 
 
 V. Principal rule : Fulfil carefully all your duties ! 
 VI. How must we act when the accomplishments of 
 amiable strangers make lively impressions upon 
 our consorts ? 
 
 VII. How can we guard ourselves against such impres- 
 sions in younger and maturer years ? 
 VIII. Married people are unjust in desiring to monopolize 
 
 all the feelings of their partner. 
 
 IX. Conjugal happiness requires we should not demand 
 
 of our consorts a total sacrifice of their taste, and 
 
 strive to accommodate ourselves to their innocent 
 
 propensities. 
 
 X. How are we to guard against an actual breach of 
 
 conjugal fidelity ? 
 XI. Two means of recalling a disloyal partner to her 
 
 duty. 
 
 Xil. How are we to proceed if our consort be guilty of 
 adultery ? 
 
 XIII. Treatment of a fallen consort. 
 
 XIV. On divorce. 
 
 XV. An unlimited confidence ought to subsist among 
 
 married people. 
 XVI. It is not advisable that married people should trans. 
 
 act all their business in common. 
 XVII. A proper sum ought to be allowed to the wife for 
 
 the purposes of housekeeping. 
 XVIII. Domestic ceconomy promotes conjugal happiness.
 
 CONTENTS. XXXJ 
 
 SlCTIOM 
 
 XIX. It is better that the husband than the wife be 
 
 rich. 
 
 XX. Is it necessary that the husband should possess a 
 larger share of prudence and judgment than the 
 wife ? 
 XXI. Is it prudent to complain to our consorts of our mis* 
 
 fortunes ? 
 
 XXII. Rules of prudence in case of too great a difference 
 of disposition. 
 
 XXIII. Ho.v are we to act if we be united for life with an 
 
 immoral or vicious person ? 
 
 XXIV. Caution against officious go-betweens. 
 
 XXV. Are these rules applicable to fashionable and very 
 rich people ? 
 
 CHAPTER VII. PAGE 232. 
 
 Rules for Loven and thne that convene with them. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 I. A FEW general observations on the proper treatment 
 
 of lovers. 
 
 II. Why no rules can be given to lovers for regulating 
 their mutual conduct. 
 
 III. Happy effects of the first love of virtuous minds. 
 
 IV. Jealousy and trifling dissensions strengthen the ties of 
 
 innocent love. 
 V. Arc the fair sex as faithful and firm in their love as 
 
 men ? 
 
 VI. Secrecy is one of the chief means of being successful 
 in love.
 
 x CONTEXTS. 
 
 SECTION 
 
 VII. Caution against thoughtless promises of marriage. 
 VJII. Be generous if the bonds uniting your heart to that 
 of a virtuous woman should be dissolved. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. PAGE 244. 
 
 On Conversation with the Fair Sex* 
 
 SECTION 
 
 I. THE Authour's apology for his being obliged to ani- 
 madvert upon some general defects of the female 
 sex. 
 
 II. Conversation with accomplished and virtuous women 
 gives the last polish to the education of a young 
 man. 
 
 III. Why are personal and mental accomplishments not 
 
 always the only certain means of rendering our. 
 selves agreeable to the fair sex ? 
 
 IV. Why are the ladies averse from men labouring under 
 
 infirmities ? 
 V. The ladies ought not to be blamed for being interested 
 
 sometimes for libertines. 
 
 VI. Cleanliness and elegance of dress recommended. 
 VIIj Paying homage in a similar manner to several ladies 
 
 at one time and in the same place, is dangerous. 
 VIII, Praising the accomplishments of other ladies in the 
 presence of one who pretends to the same is im- 
 prudent. 
 
 IX. Strive to be an entertaining companion if you wish to 
 please the ladies. Flattery is particularly grateful 
 to them. 
 X. Curiosity is a prominent feature of the female character.
 
 CONTENTS. Xll 
 
 SECTION 
 
 XI. Accommodate yourself to the humours of the fair 
 
 sex, but be not intruding. 
 
 XII. The female sex sometimes find pleasure in teazing 
 the objects of their affection. 
 
 XIII. Yield to them the triumph of the moment. 
 
 XIV. Provoke not the resentment of an ill-tempered 
 
 woman. 
 
 XV. Is it possible to avoid falling in love ? 
 XVI. Seducing or deluding innocent and inexperienced 
 
 girls by false hopes is an infamous practice. 
 XVII. On conversation with coquets and seducing females* 
 XVIII. Learned ladies. 
 
 XIX. On female dissimulation. 
 
 XX. Antiquated coquets, prudes, devotees and gossips. 
 XXI. A few more general observations on the advantages 
 resulting from the conversation of good and 
 accomplished women.
 
 1- f,
 
 PHACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 General Rules and Observations to guide us in our 
 Conversation -with Men. 
 
 ! i;:f i y :>*! i 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 pretensions are generally the standard by 
 which the world judges of our abilities and merits. 
 A golden rule ! A theme sufficient for a folio 
 volume on the spirit of conduct and the means 
 of gaining our point in the world ; a maxim, 
 the truth of which is confirmed by the expe- 
 rience of all ages. This experience teaches 
 the adventurer and boaster to persuade the mul- 
 titude that he is a man of consequence ; to 
 speak of his connexions with princes and minis- 
 ters of state, who frequently even do not know 
 that he exists, in terms that procure him, if 
 not more, at least, many a meal and access to 
 families of rank and fortune. I knew a man 
 who spoke in this maoncr in all companies of 
 VOL. i. B
 
 2 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 his intimacy with the Emperor Joseph II. and 
 Prince Kaunitz, although I am certain that 
 these great men scarcely knew his name, and 
 had heard nothing of him, except that he was 
 a turbulent man and a libeller. As no one 
 inquired into the truth of his pretensions, it 
 enabled him to gain for a short time so much 
 credit with many people as to induce them to 
 apply for his interference with the Emperor, 
 whenever they had occasion to petition-for some- 
 thing. In such cases he used to write to some 
 great man or other at Vienna, and boasted of 
 the number of his noble 'friends in such terms 
 as to obtain frequently a civil and kind answer, 
 which he turned to further advantage. 
 
 This experience emboldens many a man of 
 a merely superficial knowledge to decide posi- 
 tively in matters of which he, an hour before, 
 scarcely knew any thing ; and to give his 
 opinion in terms which deter the modest lite- 
 rati from contradicting and putting questions 
 to him that would expose his ignorance. This 
 experience encourages the presumptuous block- 
 head to intrude himself into the highest digni- 
 ties, to intimidate humble merit, and to deter 
 every one from attempting to reduce him to. his 
 proper station.
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 3 
 
 This experience teaches the most useless and 
 perverted geniuses, men without any talents 
 and real knowledge, boasters and adventurers, 
 to render themselves necessary to the great. It 
 is generally the only means by which the learned, 
 the musician and painter acquire fame. 
 
 Emboldened by this experience, the foreign 
 artist frequently charges hundreds for a piece 
 which a native would execute ten times better 
 for half the sum. The works of the foreign 
 artist are, however, the rage; he cannot satisfy 
 all the demands of his numerous customers, and 
 at last, employs natives to work for him, and 
 sells the produce of inland industry at a high 
 price by stamping them with his name. 
 
 Animated by this experience the author con- 
 trives to obtain a favourable criticism on his 
 work, pretending in the preface to his tiresome 
 composition with barefaced impudence, to have 
 been pressed by connoisseurs and men of eru- 
 dition, of whose approbation and friendship he 
 boasts, to publish his book for the benefit of the 
 world. 
 
 This experience encourages the titled spend- 
 thrift who is on the verge of bankruptcy, 
 and wants to borrow money which he does not 
 intend ever to repay, to demand it in terms and 
 
 B 2
 
 4 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 in a manner which lead the rich usurer to think 
 it an honour to be cheated by him. 
 
 Almost all sorts of application for protection 
 or preferment, made in that tone, meet with 
 success, and are but rarely refused ; whereas 
 scorn, neglect and disappointment generally 
 are the reward of the humble and timid client. 
 
 This experience teaches the servant to obtain 
 authority with his master ; and persons who 
 receive kindness, to render themselves so im- 
 portant to their benefactors as to lead them to 
 think themselves very fortunate for being able to 
 serve such men. In short, the maxim that our 
 pretensions generally are the ftandard by which the 
 world judges of our abilities and merits is the 
 great panacea, the philosopher's stone of all 
 adventurers, boasters, impostors, quacks, and 
 shallow-brained geniuses, which enables them 
 to make their fortune. I would therefore not 
 give a pin for that specific. But, stop ! Should 
 that maxim really be of no use at all to an 
 honest man ? Yes, my friends, we may turn 
 it to some advantage. It teaches us never to 
 reveal our (Economical, physical, moral and in- 
 tellectual weakness, unless we are pressed by our 
 calling or the most urgent necessity. Al- 
 though we ought on no account to have recourse
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 5 
 
 to impudent lies, yet we must neglect no oppor- 
 tunity to shew ourselves as much to advantage 
 as truth and probity will permit. We must, 
 however, not do this in too gross, visible, strik- 
 ing and vain a manner, lest we should lose 
 thereby more than we can gain. We rather ought 
 to lead others, imperceptibly, to think that we 
 possess more abilities and merits than appear at 
 first sight. If we hangout too showy a sign, we 
 excite too much attention, and invite others to 
 explore those defects from which no son of Eve 
 is exempted, and thus our fame may receive a 
 mortal blow at once. Appear therefore with a 
 certain modest consciousness of your innate 
 dignity, and above all things let your coun- 
 tenance bespeak your internal sense of veracity 
 and rectitude. Display sound reason and know- 
 ledge whenever an opportunity offers ; but be 
 careful not to betray as much as might provoke 
 envy, or render you suspected of too high pre- 
 tensions, nor as little as might induce others to 
 overlook or to contradict you with impudence. 
 Be reserved ; but take care to avoid the appear- 
 ance of singularity, timidity and pride. 
 
 IT. STRIVE to render yourself perfect; but 
 avoid the appearance of perfection and infallibi- 
 lity. The world judges of you by your prcten
 
 (> PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 sions; and you have even to congratulate your- 
 self if it imputes none to you which you never 
 had ; otherwise the least fault which you com- 
 mit will induce people to exclaim : " Ah, it is 
 unpardonable in such a man !" and as people of 
 a weak understanding generally rejoice at the 
 discovery of a defect in a man who outshines 
 them, they will censure you with more acri- 
 mony for a single slip than they would another 
 for a whole train of follies and roguery. 
 
 III. BE however not too much the slave of 
 the opinion which others form of you. Be self- 
 consistent ! What need have you to care for 
 the censure of the world if you act as you ought 
 to do ? Your whole wardrobe of external virtues 
 is not worth a pin, if you conceal a weak and 
 mean heart under that tinsel dress, and put it 
 on only to make a show with it in companies. 
 
 IV. ABOVE all things take care not to lose 
 your confidence in yourself, your trust in GOD, 
 in good men and fortune. You will be forsaken 
 by all your friends as soon as your countenance 
 bespeaks dissatisfaction and despair. I must 
 however observe, that the unfortunate frequently 
 is unjust to men, and but too apt to misinter- 
 pret every ill-humour, every little mark of cold- 
 ness in others, because he imagines tfcat every
 
 0F SOCIAL LIFE. ? 
 
 one sees that he suffers and wishes to avoid the 
 application which he might make for his assist- 
 ance. 
 
 $ V. PUT not to your own account what you 
 owe to the merits of others. If you receive 
 civilities or are distinguished in company, be- 
 cause you are connected with some great and 
 respectable man, be not proud of it; but be 
 modest enough to feel that, perhaps, you would 
 be treated differently if it were not for him, 
 and strive to be honoured for your own sake. 
 It is by far more preferable to shine in a dark 
 corner with our own light than as a great moon 
 of a foreign sun, or as a satellite of a planet. 
 
 VI. DISCLOSE your sorrows and disasters 
 / if you are unfortunate or in want, and if rea- 
 son, principles and your own exertions arc in- 
 sufficient to dispel your cares, to no person, 
 not even to the wife of your bosom, unless you 
 are certain to find relief. Few only are able and 
 willing to ease our burden ; the greater part 
 make it only heavier; nay, many will fhun 
 you if they see that Fortune frowns at you; and 
 all will desert you if they perceive that you are 
 entirely destitute of resources, that you are 
 deprived of all support, and have not one pro- 
 tector left! For who has the courage to take
 
 8 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 singly and firmly the part of a man who is 
 deserted by all the world ? Who has the spirit 
 to say : (< I know the man, he is my friend, and 
 worth more than all the wretches that censure 
 and asperse him." And if you fortunately 
 should meet with such a friend in time of need, 
 he will, perhaps, be a sufferer himself, an un- 
 fortunate being that is urged by despair to 
 unite his fate with yours, and whose protection 
 will do you more harm than good. 
 
 VII. BUT speak also not too loudly of your 
 prosperity, nor display too much splendour, 
 wealth and genius. There are but few who will 
 behold such a superiority without murmuring 
 and envy. I would advise you, for the same 
 reason, not to be too kind to others ; because 
 men are generally but too prone to shun an 
 over-generous benefactor, as we are used to flee 
 from a creditor whom we never can pay. 
 Be therefore careful not to appear too great in 
 the eyes of your brethren ; for, besides, they 
 will demand too much of you, and a single 
 refusal will make them forget in a moment thou- 
 sands of benefactions which they have received 
 from you. 
 
 VIII. DISCLOSE never in an ungenerous 
 manner the defects of your neighbour, in order
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 9 
 
 to sound your own praise at his expcnce ; nor 
 expose the failings of others to shine with 
 additional lustre. 
 
 IX. BE less eager to shine in companies 
 than to afford others an opportunity of appear- 
 ing to advantage, if you wish to please and to 
 be applauded. But few people can bear to see 
 others display their superiority. They will 
 rather forgive us an ambiguous action, nay even 
 a crime, than a deed through which we eclipse 
 them. But when you arc at some distance from 
 them, and do not square their compass of activity, 
 they will, perhaps, do you justice. I have fre- 
 quently obtained the reputation of being a 
 witty and sensible man in companies in which I 
 had not uttered a single reasonable sentence, 
 and in which I had done nothing else but -to 
 listen with an exemplary patience to fashionable 
 and- half-learned nonsense, or to introduce a 
 subject of which one of the society was desirous 
 to speak. Many people do me the unmerited 
 honour to introduce themselves to me with the 
 humble assurance, (at which I sometimes can 
 not help smiling,) that they come to pay me 
 their respect as a celebrated author ; they sit 
 down, begin to talk, giving me scarcely room 
 to speak a word, though they came to admire
 
 1O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 me, and leave me delighted with my instructive 
 and agreeable conversation and charmed with 
 me in the highest degree, because I had under- 
 standing enough to listen to them. 
 
 Have patience with all weaknesses of that 
 kind ; and if, for instance, a person should in- 
 troduce a story or an agreeable anecdote which 
 he likes to relate, let him not perceive in a'n 
 unpleasant manner that the subject is tiresome 
 to you, because you have heard it repeated fre- 
 quently, or communicated it to him yourself. 
 What can be more innocent than to promote 
 effusions of that sort if we can obtain by it 
 a good name, and afford pleasure to others ? 
 
 If people have an innocent hobby-horse, and, 
 for instance, are fond of talking of their hounds, 
 horses, paintings, &c. &c. or are pleased when 
 we drink a glass of wine with them., then let us 
 indulge them in these harmless fancies if we 
 can do it without inconvenience and deceit. I 
 have never been able to reconcile myself to the 
 custom of those courtiers that are used to listen 
 to every one with an affected attention, nay 
 even to interrupt us in the middle of a sentence 
 which they have occasioned themselves. 
 
 ^ X. PRESENCE of mind is a rare gift of 
 Heaven, and enables us to appear very much to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 11 
 
 advantage in Social Life. This valuable jo,\vel 
 can however not be acquired by art : yet if we 
 are in want of it, we may at least do something 
 to repair that defect by being constantly on our 
 guard, and taking care not to be loo precipitate 
 in conversation, nor to utter any thing tiiat 
 might perplex ourselves or others. Very lively 
 dispositions ought to be particularly careful to 
 observe this rule. I would advise those that are 
 not girted with much presence of mind, if an 
 unexpected question should be put to them or 
 an uncommon object or incident surprise them, 
 to be silent for a few moments, and to give their 
 consideration room for preparing them for the 
 party which they ought to take. As a single, 
 rash and imprudent word or a step taken in the 
 hurry of perplexity, may be attended with fruit- 
 less regret and dangerous consequences, a bold 
 resolution, taken and executed on the spot, may 
 also, in critical moments, in which we frequently 
 are thrown off our guard, be productive of safety, 
 happiness and consolation. 
 
 XI. IF you wish for temporal advantages, 
 for support and employment in civil life; if you 
 desire to obtain some post in which you can be 
 useful to your country you must solicit, nay 
 even frequently beg for it. I)o not expect that
 
 12 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 men will assist you of their own accord if you 
 are not absolutely necessary to them, or interest 
 themselves in your behalf without being soli- 
 cited, although your deeds should speak loudly 
 for you, and your want of assistance be gene- 
 rally known. Every one takes care of himself 
 and his family without troubling himself about 
 the modest man, who is too timid to appeal to 
 his talents, and may starve in an obscure corner 
 notwithstanding his superior talents and merits. 
 For this reason many a worthy man remains in 
 obscurity all his life, and has no opportunity to 
 be useful to his fellow-citizens because he can 
 neither beg nor cringe. 
 
 ^ XII. BUT let us request and accept of others 
 as few services as possible. We meet very rarely 
 with people who are disinterested enough not to 
 demand, sooner or later, great returns for small 
 services ; and this destroys the freedom of con- 
 versation, deprives us of the liberty of action, 
 and limits our choice. Although this should 
 in ten instances distress us scarcely once, yet 
 it will be prudent to avoid that one possible 
 instance, and rather to give as often as we can 
 and to serve every one than to accept services 
 or any thing else from others. There are also 
 few people that will serve you with a good grace.
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 13 
 
 You will be convinced of it if you will make a 
 trial. Many of your acquaintances will assumo 
 at once a grave and solemn air, in the highest 
 glee of good humour, if you address them with 
 these or similar words : " I have a great favour 
 to beg of you ; I am sadly distressed." Men 
 are however very ready to ofler us services of 
 which we are not in want, or even which they 
 arc not capable to afford us. The spendthrift is 
 always ready to serve others with money, and 
 the blockhead with advice. 
 
 Above all things be careful not to request any 
 favour of a person if you are convinced that he 
 cannot well give you a refusal, how unwilling 
 soever he should be to oblige you ; for instance, 
 when he is under obligations to you, or depends 
 upon you in any other manner. 
 
 To receive benefactions makes us dependent 
 on others, and we cannot know what the con- 
 sequences of it may be. It reduces us fre- 
 quently to the necessity either of shewing too 
 much indulgence to bad men, or renders us 
 suspected of being ungrateful. 
 
 If you wish to render yourself independent 
 on the assistance of others you need but to 
 have few wants, to be sober, regular and mode- 
 rate in your wishes ; if, on the contrary, your
 
 14 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 heart is a wrestling-place of numerous wild 
 passions, if your mind is constantly agitated 
 either by ambition or thirst after gain, or per- 
 turbged by voluptuous desires ; if you are 
 infected by the extravagance and luxury of our 
 age, and wish for every thing that dazzles your 
 eyes ; if restless curiosity and a turbulent spirit 
 impel you incessantly to interfere with the con- 
 cerns of others, you will always be in want of 
 the assistance of your friends and acquaintances 
 in order to obtain the gratification of your num- 
 berless wishes. 
 
 XIII. WHEN I recommend to my readers 
 rather to oblige every one than to accept of the 
 assistance of others, this does not contradict the 
 assertion that prudence requires we should not 
 do too much for others. I would advise you in 
 general to be obliging, but not to obtrude your 
 services upon others, nor to be the friend and 
 confident of every one. Above all things do not 
 censure,* correct, or advise others, if you have 
 no urgent calling to do it. Few only will thank 
 you for it, and many have already decided how 
 to act when they apply for our advice. Do 
 not trouble your friends and acquaintances with 
 trifling commissions if you possibly can avoid 
 it ; for instance, to buy something for you, te 
 3
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 19 
 
 deliver a message, &c. &c. I would also recom- 
 mend to you to decline every charge of that 
 sort ; for the execution of such commissions is 
 generally attended with loss of time, and you 
 will rarely be able to execute them to the satis- 
 faction of your friends. They are generally 
 attended with loss of time and money, and 
 rarely gratefully acknowledged. Be also careful 
 not to interfere in domestic disputes: and above 
 all things be cautious how you reconcile ene- 
 mies and settle differences, if the dissenting 
 parties are not particularly dear to you, because 
 both parties generally shake hands unexpectedly 
 to attack the peace-maker jointly. Match- 
 making leave to Heaven and a certain class of 
 old women. 
 
 $ XIV. No rule is more generally useful, 
 none ought to be observed more sacredlv, and 
 tends more to procure us respect and friends 
 than that which teaches us to keep our word 
 rigidly even in the most trifling instances, 
 to be faithful to all our promises, and never to 
 wander from the strait road of truth and veracity. 
 You are intitled in no instance and by no motive 
 whatever to say the contrary of what you think, 
 although it would frequently be highly wrong 
 and imprudent to disclose every thought of your
 
 f6 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 heart. No necessity, how imperious soever it 
 be, can excuse an untruth ; no breach of vera- 
 city has ever been committed without having 
 produced, sooner or later, painful consequences; 
 whereas the man who is known to be a slave to 
 his word, and never to indulge himself with the 
 commission of an untruth, gains confidence, a 
 good name and general regard. 
 
 XV. BE strict, punctual, regular, assiduous 
 and diligent in your calling. Keep your papers, 
 keys and every thing in such an order as to 
 be able to find every individual article in the 
 dark. Bestow a still more rigid care upon the 
 property of others which is entrusted to you. 
 Never lend books to others which you have bor- 
 rowed. If any be lent to you, send or carry 
 them back in proper time, and do not give your 
 friends or servants the trouble to fetch them. 
 Every one is glad to be connected and to trans- 
 act business with a person upon whose punctu- 
 ality in words and deeds we can rely. Appear 
 punctually at the place to which you have 
 promised to come, though you should be 
 the only one that is so regular ; good and bad 
 examples of that sort are generally imitated, 
 and the irregularity of others is no excuse for 
 ours. 1
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 17 
 
 ^ XVI. INTEREST yourself for others if you 
 wish them to interest themselves for you. A 
 person that is destitute of fellow-feeling, of a 
 sense for friendship, benevolenee and love, and 
 lives merely for himself, will also be left to shift 
 for himself when he wants the assistance of 
 others. 
 
 XVII. IMPLICATE no one in your private 
 differences, and demand not of those with 
 whom you are connected to take a part in the 
 animosities which exist between yourself and 
 others. 
 
 A great number of such rules are compre- 
 hended in the old maxim : " Put yourself in 
 your imagination frequently in the place of 
 others, and ask yourself How should you be 
 pleased in such a situation if this were de- 
 manded of you if you were treated in such a 
 manner if you were desired to take so much 
 pains to afford such an assistance or to give 
 such an explanation r" 
 
 XVIII. Do not trouble yourself about the 
 actions of others while they have no relation to 
 yourself, or so much influence on morality as 
 would render it criminal to be silent. What is 
 it to you whether a person walks slow or quick, 
 sleeps little or much, is often or seldom at home, 
 VOL. i. C
 
 18 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 wears a simple or a sumptuous dress, drinks 
 wine or beer, contracts debts or hoards up 
 money, keeps a mistress or no ? But facts which 
 we must know we learn frequently best of stu- 
 pid people, because they relate them without 
 witty exaggerations and additions, without pas- 
 sion and artful misrepresentation. 
 
 XIX. Do never desert your principles while 
 you are convinced that they are just. To make 
 exceptions is very dangerous and leads farther 
 than we at first intend to go, from trifles to 
 matters of importance. If, therefore., you have 
 resolved once after mature consideration to lend 
 out no book, to drink no more than a certain 
 quantity of wine, &c. &c. your own father even 
 must not be capable to persuade you to decline 
 from it, while the motives which determined 
 your first resolution continue to remain in force. 
 Be firm, but cautious not to take a resolution 
 until you have considered all possible cases, nor 
 to persist obstinately in trifles. 
 
 Above all things be always consistent. Form 
 a certain plan of life and do not swerve from it 
 the breadth of a hair, although that plan should 
 be rather singular. People will perhaps talk 
 a short time of your singularity, but finally be 
 silent, refrain, from disturbing you any further
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. JQ 
 
 anil esteem you for your firmness. We in 
 general arc always gainers by a regular perse- 
 verance and a wise firmness. Principles resem- 
 ble in one point all other materials of which 
 something is made ; namely, the best proof of 
 their goodness consists in their durability; and, 
 in truth, when we minutely inquire into the 
 reasons from which even the noblest actions of 
 some people frequently are under- rated, we find 
 oftentimes that the Public suspects the object 
 and tendency of these actions, because they do 
 not seem to accord with the system of the man 
 that performs them, because they are inconsist- 
 ent with his usual mode of proceeding. 
 
 XX. ABOVE all things strive to have always 
 a good conscience. Avoid most studiously to 
 give your heart the least occasion to reproach 
 you on account of the object of your actions and 
 of the means which you employ to attain it. 
 Pursue never crooked ways and you may firmly 
 rely upon good consequences, the assistance of 
 GOD and of good men in time of need. Al- 
 though you should be thwarted for some time by 
 misfortune, yet the blissful consciousness of the 
 goodness of your heart and of the rectitude of 
 your designs will afford you uncommon strength 
 and comfort ; your sorrowful countenance will 
 c 2
 
 20 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 interest those with whom you converse much 
 more than the grimaces of the smiling and 
 grinning villain \vhoseems to be happy. 
 
 XXI. BE consistent in your conduct, what- 
 ever the part be which you have undertaken to 
 act. Be not warm, civil and obliging, pleasant 
 and entertaining to-day, and cool, rude, dry 
 and mute as a statue to-morrow! It is difficult 
 and disagreeable to converse with people of such 
 a fickle disposition. When they are in good 
 humour or no other person is with them who is 
 of a higher rank, jocoser or a better flatterer 
 than we are, they will receive us with marks of 
 the most cordial and intimate friendship. We 
 are charmed with their conduct, rely upon their 
 kindness, and go a few days after to pay another 
 visit to that agreeable man who was so extremely 
 glad to see us, and invited us so kindly to come 
 very often to his house. But how different is 
 our reception ! We are received with a chilling 
 coldness and grave looks ; our host leaves us in 
 a corner, to amuse ourselves as well as we can, 
 and replies only in monosyllables to our ques- 
 tions, because he is just surrounded with venal 
 parasites who can flatter his passions better than 
 we. I advise you to drop by degrees all con- 
 nexions with such people, and if afterwards they
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 21 
 
 should be actuated by a transient whim to seek 
 your company again, to receive them in return 
 with serious dignity, and to steal imperceptibly 
 out of their society. 
 
 XXII. MAKE some distinction in your 
 external conduct towards those with whom you 
 converse, and in the marks of attention which 
 you show them. Do not shake hands with 
 every one, nor press all your acquaintances with- 
 out discrimination to your heart : for what will 
 be left for the friend of your bosom or those 
 whom you prefer, and who can rely upon your 
 marks of friendship and esteem ? who can set 
 any value upon them if you dispense them so 
 lavishly ? 
 
 XXIII. THERE arc two principal motives 
 that ought to prevent us from being too commu- 
 nicative ; first, the fear of betraying our weak- 
 ness and being abused ; and then the consider- 
 ation that if we have used people once to be 
 informed of all our concerns, they will at last 
 expect to be made acquainted with every trifling 
 step which we take, to know all our affairs and 
 to be consulted on all occasions. On the other 
 hand, we must also avoid being too reserved 
 and close : because this might lead others to 
 suspect something important or even dangerous
 
 22 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 to be at the bottom of all our transactions, 
 which would involve us in many disagreeable 
 situations and render us objects of suspicion, 
 particularly in foreign countries, on travels and 
 many other occasions. Too much reserve can 
 also hurt us very much in Social Life in general, 
 and injure us even in the conversation with 
 worthy friends. 
 
 $ XXrV. ATTEMPT never to render a person 
 ridiculous in company how many defects soever 
 he may have. If he be stupid, you will reap 
 little honour from directing the shafts of your 
 wit at him ; should he however happen to be 
 less stupid than you think, you may become the 
 butt of his ridicule ; if he be noble minded and 
 gifted with a feeling heart you will hurt him ; 
 and should he be malicious and revengeful he 
 will, perhaps, resent it sooner or later. And 
 if the Public have but the least consideration for 
 our opinion of others, we can easily injure a 
 good man in civil life by ridiculing him in com- 
 pany, or depress a weak person so much as to 
 extinguish every spark of ambition, and to 
 destroy every budding talent in his soul, when 
 we expose him to scorn and disgrace by unveil- 
 ing his defects. 
 
 ' XXV. TERRIFY and teaze no person, not
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 23 
 
 even your most intimate friends, by false reports, 
 vexatious jokes, nor by any thing that could 
 reduce them to a momentary distress or uneasi- 
 ness. There are so many really unpleasant, 
 anxious and distressing moments in this world, 
 that it is our fraternal duty to remove every 
 thing that could add even as little as the weight 
 of a grain of the balance to the load of real and 
 imaginary evils. It is equally wrong and impru- 
 dent to give a friend out of merriment a momen- 
 tary pleasure that soon passes away, by fictitious 
 joyful intelligence. There are real acts of cru- 
 elty which do not season, but embitter the joys 
 of Social Conversation. Prudence also advises 
 you not to excite curiosity nor to torment people 
 by unfinished sentences, but rather to be silent 
 if you are not inclined to speak out. There 
 are people who ,are used to give their friends 
 such mysterious hints, as for instance : " I 
 have heard very unpleasant things of you, but 
 am not at liberty to communicate to you what 
 J have been told,'* Such hints are of no use 
 and create uneasiness, 
 
 We must in general perplex people as little 
 as possible, and when some person is going to 
 commit an imprudent action; for instance, to 
 speak ill of a book whose author is present, pr
 
 14 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 to be put to the blush in any other manner, 
 rather spare him that perplexity and endeavour 
 to repair his blunder as well as we can ; and if 
 any person through inattention fhould break or 
 drop something, or commit any other trifling 
 mistake, good breeding requires we should take 
 no notice of it, at least not look at him with 
 marks of dissatisfaction or astonishment, which 
 would only increase his distress. 
 
 XXVI. ABOVE all things let us never 
 forget that people want to be amused and enter- 
 tained ; that even the most instructive conver-r 
 sation at last becomes irksome to many if it 
 be not seasoned by occasional sallies of wit and 
 good humour ; further, that nothing in the 
 world appears to the generality wittier, wiser 
 and more pleasant than what is said to their 
 praise and flatters their vanity ; but that it also 
 is beneath the dignity of a rational man to act 
 the mean part of a jester, and unworthy of an 
 honest man to flatter meanly. There is a cer- 
 tain medium which I wish to recommend to 
 you. Every man has at least one good quality 
 which we may praise without degrading our- 
 selves ; and an encomium of that sort uttered 
 by a man of understanding and judgment may 
 become an impulse to strive at greater per- 
 
 1
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 25 
 
 faction. This hint will be sufficient for those 
 that are inclined to understand me. 
 
 Display as much as you can an unruffled 
 and serene countenance. Nothing is more 
 charming and amiable than a certain jovial and 
 cheerful disposition which emanates from the 
 source of a guiltless heart that is not agitated 
 by the tempests of warring and violent passions. 
 A person that constantly hunts after witticisms 
 and shows that he has studied to amuse the 
 company, will please only for a short time and 
 interest but a few; his Society will not be 
 courted by those whose hearts pant after better 
 conversation, and whose minds wish for Socratic 
 entertainment. 
 
 A person who sets up for a dealer in witti- 
 cisms and jokes not only exhausts himself soon 
 and grows flat, but also experiences frequently 
 the misfortune to offend his companions, if he 
 be in a particular humour to open the treasures 
 of his jocose trifles. Every meal to which he 
 is invited, every civility that is shewn him, 
 seems to be attended with the onerous condition 
 to deserve that honour by a display of his jokes; 
 and if ever he attempt to raise his tone to a 
 higher strain and to introduce a serious subject, 
 he is laughed at before he has finished his sen-
 
 26 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 tence. True humour and genuine wit cannot 
 be forced nor produced by art and mental 
 toils ; but they are felt like the presence of a 
 celestial being, creating pleasure, congenial 
 warmth and secret awe. When you wish to 
 display your wit you ought always to consider 
 first in what company you are. A discourse 
 which is very entertaining to people of a certain 
 education, may appear very tedious and im- 
 proper to others, and a humorous expression 
 which is received well in a society composed of 
 gentlemen may be very unseasonable in a circle 
 of ladies. 
 
 XXVII. QUIT the society of no person 
 without having told him something obliging or 
 instructive, in a manner which does not ofFencJ 
 his modesty nor has the appearance of being 
 studied, that he may have no reason to think 
 the hour lost which he has spent in your com- 
 pany, and be sensible that you interest yourself 
 for him, that you are sincerely concerned for 
 his happiness, and do not lavisti your civilities 
 indiscriminately upon ev r ery one that happens to 
 come in your way. But do not misunderstand 
 me ! I wish if possible to banish all idle talk 
 from conversation, and to prevail upon my 
 readers to be careful never to utter any thing
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 27 
 
 that neither is useful nor imparts real pleasure to 
 
 him who must listen to vou, and interests neither 
 
 * 
 
 his head nor his heart. I "do therefore not 
 recommend to you the custom of those that 
 distress all their acquaintances without inter- 
 mission by empty compliments, flatteries and 
 encomiums which admit of no reasonable reply. 
 As for the rest, I do not think it improper to 
 intermix our discourse sometimes with a well- 
 meant expression of civility, or a merited and 
 modest encomium that may serve as an incite- 
 ment to the further pursuit of virtue. The sub- 
 sequent example will more clearly elucidate my 
 real principles with regard to this point : I once 
 sat at the table of a friend between a beautiful, 
 young and sensible lady, and a little deformed 
 and ugly old maid. I committed the rudeness 
 to converse during dinner only with the former, 
 and to neglect the latter entirely. When the 
 desert was served up the rudeness of my conduct 
 suddenly struck me, and I now repaired the 
 fault which I had committed, by a gross offence 
 against sincerity and veracity. Turning myself 
 towards my neglected neighbour, I mentioned 
 an incident which had happened about twenty 
 years since, and when she told me she did not 
 recollect it I had the meanness to reply : " It
 
 28 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 is no woncter, for then you must have been a 
 child." The little deformed being was highly 
 pleased at my thinking her so young, and that 
 single word gained me her good opinion. Sh,<t 
 ought however to have despised me for that 
 flattery. How easy would it have been for me 
 to introduce a subject that could have interested 
 her without nourishing her silly infatuation ! 
 and this would have been my duty ; instead of 
 which I neglected her entirely all the time while 
 we were at dinner. That miserable flattery was 
 undoubtedly a very unmanly and dishonourable 
 expedient to make amends for my ungentleman- 
 like neglect. 
 
 We may however sometimes give great 
 offence to some people though we imagined 
 what we said was very obliging. There are, 
 for instance, persons who would take it very ill 
 were we to assure them that they appear to be 
 very good-natured, and others are offended if 
 they are told that they have a very healthy 
 look. 
 
 XXVIII. IF you are desirous to gain lasting 
 respect ; if you wish to offend no one ; to tire 
 no person by your conversation ; I advise you 
 not to season your discourse constantly with 
 aspersions, ridicule and backbiting, nor to use
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 2Q 
 
 yourself to the contemptible custom of jeering. 
 This may please now and then, particularly in 
 the cirde of a certain class of people ; but a 
 man that constantly labours to amuse the com- 
 pany at the expense of other people, or of truth, 
 \yjll certainly be shunned and despised at last, 
 and he deserves it ; for a man of feeling and 
 understanding will bear with the failings of 
 others, as he must be sensible how much mis- 
 chief sometimes a single ridicule may produce 
 though no harm be meant. He also cannot but 
 wish for more substantial and useful conversa- 
 tion and loathe gibing nonsense. Yet we use 
 ourselves but too easily to that miserable cus- 
 tom in what they call the fashionable circles. 
 I do however not mean to condemn all ridicule 
 in general and at all times, nor to deny that 
 many follies and absurdities can be counteracted 
 best in less familiar circles by the lashes of 
 fine, not too plain nor too personal, ridicule. 
 Neither do I desire you to applaud every thing 
 you see and hear, nor to excuse all faults ; I 
 rather must confess, that I always suspect people 
 that affect to cover all defects of others with 
 the cloak of charity. They arc generally hvpo- 
 crites who wish to bribe others by the honour- 
 able terms in which they fpeak of them, to
 
 3O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHr 
 
 forget the injuries which they commit against 
 those very persons : or they intend to prevail 
 on us by such a conduct, to be equally indul- 
 gent to their own failings and defects. 
 
 XXIX. AVOID as much as possible to 
 relate anecdotes, particularly such as place others 
 in an unfavourable light, especially if they be 
 founded merely on hearsay. They are fre- 
 quently idle inventions, or have passed already 
 through so many hands as to be greatly exag- 
 gerated or mutilated, and thus essentially altered. 
 We can oftentimes seriously injure innocent 
 and deserving people by the relation of such 
 anecdotes, and more frequently involve our- 
 selves in great difficulties. 
 
 XXX. BE careful not to carry stories from 
 one house to another, nor to relate familiar 
 table talks, family discourses and observations 
 which you have made on the domestic concerns 
 and life of people with whom you frequently 
 converse. Although you should not be a mali- 
 cious tale-bearer, yet such an officious garrulity 
 would create mistrust and might occasion a great 
 deal of animosity and disharmony. 
 
 XXXI. BE cautious how you censure and 
 contradict others. There are few things in the 
 world that have not at least two different sides.
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE.- 31 
 
 Prejudices overdarkcn frequently the judgment 
 even of a wise man, and it is difficult to form, 
 always a just idea of the situation of others. 
 Be also particularly careful not to judge rashly 
 of the actions of judicious men, unless your 
 modesty tell you that you are wiser than those 
 whom you censure. This internal sense of our 
 own superiority is however always very sus- 
 picious. A wise man generally is more lively 
 than another, has to combat more violent pas- 
 sions, cares little for the opinion of the multi- 
 tude, and is less anxious than others to justify 
 the purity of his motives. As for the rest, you 
 will do well always to ask before you pronounce 
 judgment upon others : " What good docs 
 that man do ? Is he useful to his brethren ? 
 And if he be, you ought to forget the little 
 passionate failings which he has, and which are 
 hurtful to no out but himself, or at most cause 
 only a trifling and transient harm. 
 
 Above all things do not presume to weigh 
 scrupulously the motives by which others are 
 actuated to do good. Such an account would 
 perhaps frequently render your own deeds, even 
 those that afford you the greatest satisfaction, 
 very diminutive. The influence which an 
 action has upon the happiness of the world,
 
 32 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ought always to be the standard by which we 
 -estimate its merits or demerits. 
 
 XXXII. TAKE heed not to tire the pa- 
 tience of your hearers by tedious and prolix 
 discourses. A certain laconism, if it do not 
 degenerate into an affected mode of speak- 
 ing only in sentences and aphorisms, or of 
 weighing scrupulously every word a certain 
 laconism, i. e. the gift of saying much in few 
 words, and of keeping the attention alive by 
 the omission of unimportant details, and at 
 other times the skill of rendering a trifling cir- 
 cumstance interesting by relating it in a lively 
 manner is the real art of social eloquence. 
 I shall however speak of it more at large in 
 another place, and now only advise you not to 
 talk too much in general. Be parsimonious in 
 dispensing your words and knowledge lest your 
 store should be exhausted too soon, and you 
 relate what you neither ought nor intended to 
 disclose, which only will serve to render your 
 discourse tedious and disagreeable. Let others 
 also speak and contribute their share towards 
 the general conversation. There are- people 
 who without perceiving it, monopolize every 
 where the conversation, and were they in a 
 company of more r than fifty people would
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 33 
 
 nevertheless soon find means to be the only 
 speakers in the room. Disagreeable as this 
 must be to every company it is equally unplea- 
 sant and destroys no less the glee of Social 
 Conversation, when on the other hand we see 
 people of a different disposition standing mute 
 and listening as if they were spies, catching 
 every improper and imprudent word that escapes 
 in the unsuspicious heat of conversation, as it 
 should appear for some sinister and malicious 
 purpose. 
 
 XXX^II. THERE are people in Social Life 
 who arc always ready to receive but never will 
 give ; who desire to be amused, instructed, 
 served and applauded, paid and nursed as it 
 were by the rest of the Public, without giving 
 any thing in return ; who complain of being 
 tired to death by the dulness of their com- 
 panions, but do not consider that others have 
 just reason to retort the same complaint against 
 themselves ; who will sit quietly upon their 
 chair, listening with pleasure to the sallies and 
 exhilarating discourses of others, without taking 
 the trouble to contribute any thing to the 
 amusement of the company. This is however 
 as unjust as it is tiresome. There are also 
 many who constantly arc speaking only of their 
 
 VOL. I. D
 
 34 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 own person, of their domestic concerns, their 
 relations, deeds and official occupations ; who 
 turn every subject that is brought upon the 
 carpet into that channel, and take every simile, 
 every idea which they start from these things. 
 Avoid as much as possible to display in mixed 
 companies the shape, and to speak in the tone 
 which you have received by your special edu- 
 cation, your profession and station in life. Do 
 not speak of subjects that can be interesting to 
 no one but yousself. Make no allusion to anec- 
 dotes which are unknown to the company in 
 which you are, nor to passages from books 
 which they probably never have read. Con- 
 verse not in a foreign language if you have 
 reason to believe that not all those who are 
 present understand it. Learn to accommodate 
 yourself to the tone of the Society in which 
 you are. Nothing can be more absurd than, if, 
 for instance, the physician entertain a groupe 
 of young ladies with a description of his col- 
 lection of anatomical preparations ; if the 
 divine in a circle of men of the world enter 
 into a prolix discussion of some casuistical 
 point in theology, and the old and infirm 
 literati entertain a young coquette with an 
 enumeration of his corns and sores.
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 35 
 
 We happen however frequently to come into 
 companies where it is extremely difficult to 
 introduce an interesting subject. If a sensible 
 man be surrounded by people that have no taste 
 for discourses of a better sort and relish only 
 idle and trifling talk, it is no fault of his if he 
 be not understood, and he may console himself 
 with the consciousness of having spoken of 
 matters that ought to interest. 
 
 $ XXXIV. SPEAK therefore not too much of 
 yourself when you are not in a circle of inti- 
 mate friends that interest themselves warmly in 
 all your concerns ; and even then you will do 
 well to avoid all egotism. Take care not to 
 speak too much of yourself if your friends out 
 of civility should turn the conversation upon 
 your person, your publications and similar sub- 
 jects. Modesty is one of the most amiable 
 qualities, and pleases the more the more rarely it 
 is to be met with in our times. Be therefore 
 also not too eager to read your Hterary compo- 
 sitions to people without being asked to recite 
 them, to display your talents and to relate your 
 meritorious actions, nor to give others an 
 opportunity to request it of you. I would also 
 advise you not to distress others by your con- 
 versation, /'. e. not to display such a superiority 
 D 2
 
 36 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 as to render your companions mute, or to 
 place them in a disadvantageous light. 
 
 XXXV. Do not contradict yourself in 
 conversation by supporting some principle or 
 other which you have combated on a former 
 occasion. We may change our opinions, but 
 prudence requires we should not judge deci- 
 sively in company, until we have weighed all the 
 arguments for and against the point in question. 
 
 XXXVI. TAKE care not to expose your- 
 self on every occasion from want of memory or 
 attention to yourself, because you are in love 
 with your own wit, by relating the same stories, 
 anecdotes, similes, &c. &c. on every occasion. 
 It is in general, but particularly in Social Con- 
 versation, highly important that we should 
 . sharpen our memory, and for that reason not 
 use ourselves too much to write down every 
 thing we wish to recollect. 
 
 XXXVII. Do not season your discourses 
 with duplicities, nor with allusions to objects 
 that either create aversion or make chastity 
 blush : nor applaud those that do it. No sen- 
 sible man can relish such discourses. Deny no 
 where your sense of shame and chastity and 
 your aversion from obscenity, though the com- 
 pany should consist only of men.
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 37 
 
 XXXVIII. INTERMIX not your discourses 
 with flat common place expressions. Avoid, 
 for instance, the hacknied assertion ' that health 
 is an invaluable treasure;' * that skaiting is a cold 
 amusement ;' * that every one is his nearest 
 neighbour;' * thatall iswell that ends well ;' ' that 
 a burnt child fears the fire;' or ' that time passes 
 swiftly away,' which en passant is not true; for 
 as time is computed after a fixed standard it 
 cannot pass quicker than it must do ; and a 
 person to whom one year appears to have passed 
 more rapidly than another, must have slept 
 more than usual or not have been in his senses ; 
 such sentences are tiresome and frequently non- 
 sensical and void of truth. 
 
 There are some mechanical people one half 
 of whose discourses are composed of certain 
 expressions which they utter without thinking. 
 They find you for instance dangerously ill in. 
 your bed and ' rejoice to see you well.' If you 
 shew them your picture, < that it is indeed an 
 excellent likeness but painted much too old.' 
 They will say of all children ' that they are very 
 big for their age, and very like their father or 
 mother,' &c. &c. 
 
 ^ XXXIX. Do not tcaze those with whom 
 you converse with useless questions. There
 
 38 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 are people who being used to shape all their 
 discourses in the form of question and answer, 
 assail us with such a number of interrogatives 
 as to render it impossible for us to converse with 
 them after our own manner. 
 
 XL. LEARN to brook contradiction. Be 
 not childishly fond of your own opinions. Do 
 not grow passionate and rude in disputing, not 
 even when your serious arguments are opposed 
 by ridicule and jeering. You have lost half, 
 however good your cause may be, if you lose 
 your equanimity; at least you will not be able 
 to convince your opponent. 
 
 XLI. TALK not of your domestic con- 
 cerns, nor of vexatious subjects in the playhouse, 
 in concerts and other places of amusement. 
 We resort to these places to divert and to rest 
 ourselves, to forget the cares and troubles of 
 life and to unbend our mind, it is therefore 
 highly improper to obtrude our diurnal yoke 
 again upon our shoulders. 
 
 ^ XLII. I THINK you will agree with me that 
 no honest and sensible man will scoff at essen- 
 tial doctrines of religion, though he should be 
 so unfortunate as to question their truth ; but 
 I must observe that it would be equally impro- 
 per to ridicule in company religious rites, cere-
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 3Q 
 
 monies that are held by many to be material 
 parts of religion, or human institutions which 
 some sects esteem as articles of faith. You 
 ought to respect what is eacred to others, and 
 to suffer your brethren to enjoy the same liberty 
 which you claim for yourself. Do not forget 
 that what we call mental illumination may be 
 darkness to others. Spare prejudices that afford 
 peace to your weaker brethren. Rob no one 
 without giving him something better for what 
 you take from him. Recollect always that 
 ridicule never can convince others ; that our 
 reason which in this sublunary world labours 
 under many impediments can easily err in such 
 important matters; that it is difficult to over- 
 turn a defective system, which however is the 
 basis of a good moral edifice, without pulling 
 down at the same time the whole fabric ; and 
 finally, that such subjects are unfit for being 
 discussed at all in mixed companies. I think 
 however that in our age we avoid but too stu- 
 diously and anxiously all opportunities of speak- 
 ing of religion. Some people are ashamed to 
 evince a warm regard for divine worship from 
 fear of being taxed with want of mental light, 
 and others affect to be animated with religious 
 sentiments, and are anxious to avoid speaking 
 
 1
 
 .40 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 against fanaticism in order to ingratiate them- 
 selves with the devotees. The former is the 
 most contemptible sort of cowardice, and the 
 latter mean hypocrisy : either are equally 
 unbecoming an honest man. 
 
 XLIII. WHENEVER you speak of bodily, 
 mental^ moral or other defects, or relate anec- 
 dotes that place certain principles in a ridiculous 
 light, or reflect some blame upon certain ranks 
 in life ; then be cautious to ascertain first that 
 no one is present who could be offended by it, 
 or take that censure or ridicule as a reflection 
 upon himself, or his relations and friends. 
 
 Ridicule the person, shape and features of no 
 one; for it is not in the power of any mortal 
 to alter them. 
 
 Nothing is more distressing, grievous and 
 revolting to a man who unfortunately has a 
 singular countenance or figure than to per- 
 ceive that it is an object of ridicule or surprise. 
 People that are acquainted with the world and 
 have lived amongst men of all forms and shapes 
 ought certainly not to be in want of being told 
 of it ; but, alas ! we find even amongst people 
 of the first quality, particularly amongst the 
 female part, persons who have so little com- 
 mand over themselves or such indifferent
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 41 
 
 notions of decorum and equity, as not to be 
 able to conceal the impression which an uncom- 
 mon sight of that sort produces upon them. 
 This is however a mark of great weakness ; 
 and besides if we consider how relative our 
 notions of beauty and deformity are, how pre- 
 carious our physiognomical knowledge is, and 
 how often a beautiful, noble, warm and gene- 
 rous heart, and a great, well informed and 
 philosophical mind, is the inhabitant of an 
 apparently ugly form ; we may justly conclude 
 how little we arc intitled to draw injurious 
 inferences from the external appearance of a 
 man, and that it is always extremely wrong to ' 
 betray the impression which such a sight pro- 
 duces upon us through laughter, or in any 
 other manner. There are also other objects 
 besides a singular shape that frequently strike 
 us ; as for instance, ridiculous, fantastical and 
 absurd miens, manners, distortions of the body, 
 an imprudent and improper conduct, a singular 
 and grotesque dress, &c. &c. Good breeding 
 requires also of us not to express our astonish- 
 ment at these singularities by sarcastic smiles 
 or signs to those that are present, and thus to 
 increase the confusion of the poor man that is 
 guilty of them.
 
 42 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 XLIV. IF you wish to speak to your friend 
 in company of a person that is present, (though 
 whispering is in general highly improper), take 
 at least the precaution not to look or to point at 
 the man of whom you are going to speak : and 
 if you are to listen to a discourse concerning 
 yourself which is carried on at some distance 
 from you, prudence requires you should not 
 turn your looks that way ; for this will put the 
 speakers upon their guard, and we hear besides 
 with the ears only and not with the eyes. 
 
 XLV. BE careful not to remind people 
 with whom you converse of disagreeable mat- 
 ters without having a necessity to do it. Many 
 persons are actuated by an imprudent concern) 
 to inquire after the state of our oeconomical and 
 other disagreeable circumstances, although they 
 can be of no service to us, and thus force us 
 constantly to ruminate in societies where we 
 expected to be exhilarated upon matters which 
 we are anxious to forget. Such a conduct is 
 extremely improper, imprudent and cruel, if 
 we be not certain that discourses of that sort 
 rather will ease and comfort the person to whom 
 we address them than encreasc his sufferings 
 and sorrows. 
 
 Refrain also from prejudicing people against
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 43 
 
 any thing which they have once in their pos- 
 session and are not at liberty to give up again, 
 and do not render your connexions dissatisfied 
 with their situation by disagreeable representa- 
 tions of its disadvantages. There are, alas ! 
 but too many preachers of truth of that class 
 who make it their business to reason the most 
 happy and innocent prejudices away, and thus 
 rob their brethren frequently of the only com- 
 fort which they have. This is indeed highly 
 unbecoming a man who possesses a feeling 
 mind, and besides can do no good, but rather 
 be productive of the most lamentable con- 
 sequences. 
 
 $ XLVI. WHEN a person tells disagreeable 
 things to another or puts him to the blush, do 
 not take a share in it nor seem to approve of it 
 by applauding smiles, but rather pretend not to 
 hear it. The nobleness of such a conduct is 
 felt and frequently gratefully rewarded. 
 
 ^ XLVII. I SHALL treat of the custom of 
 speaking in paradoxes, of the spirit of contrast- 
 ing and disputing, and of quoting the opinion of 
 others, in a succeeding chapter of the second 
 volume, to which I refer my readers. 
 
 XLVIII. SECRECY is one of the cardinal 
 virtues in human life, but, alas ! more rarely
 
 44 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 to be met with every day. Men are in our 
 times so uncommonly fraudulent in their pro- 
 mises, nay even in the most solemn assurances 
 and oaths, as to betray without hesitation 
 secrets that have been intrusted to them under 
 the seal of the most inviolable secrecy. People 
 of another class who are less void of consci- 
 entiousness but extremely heedless, cannot 
 bridle their loquacity on any account. They 
 forget that they have been desired to be silent, 
 and reveal out of an unpardonable imprudence 
 the most important secrets of their friends in 
 public places ; or supposing every one whom 
 they happen to meet to be a faithful friend, 
 communicate what they ought not to regard as 
 their property to people that are as thoughtless 
 as themselves. Persons of this description are 
 equally heedless with regard to their own 
 secrets, plans and concerns, and thus destroy 
 frequently their temporal happiness and ruin 
 their best designs. 
 
 It is obvious how much injury in general 
 must arise from such an imprudent disclosure of 
 our own secrets and those of others. But there 
 are also many other things which properly are 
 no secrets, of which reason however teaches 
 us that it would be better to conceal than to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 45 
 
 divulge them, because the communication of 
 them can be useful and instructive to no one, 
 and become hurtful to some person or other. 
 I recommend therefore a prudent rcservedness, 
 which however must not degenerate into a 
 ridiculous mysteriousness. I must observe on 
 this occasion that people in general are more 
 reserved in despotic states than in countries 
 which enjoy more liberty. In the former fear 
 and mistrust tie the tongue, and in the latter 
 every one follows the impulse of his heart to 
 communicate his ideas without restraint. 
 
 If we cannot avoid intrusting several people 
 atone time with the same secret, it will be pru- 
 dent we should enjoin the strictest secrecy to 
 every one of them, to lead each of them to 
 think that he is the sole possessor and will be 
 alone accountable for the keeping of it. 
 
 Many people are in the habit of not explain- 
 ing themselves distinctly and give no absolute 
 promise when requested by us to preserve a 
 secret which we are going to disclose to them. 
 Good nature prevents us frequently in such a 
 case to trust to their discretion. Such an am- 
 biguous conduct is however unbecoming a real 
 gentleman ; an honest man declares his inten- 
 tion without reserve, and listens not to a dis-
 
 46 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 closure of that nature until he has informed us 
 how far he can engage himself to keep the 
 secret which we are going to communicate to 
 him. 
 
 XLIX. WHAT the French call contenance, 
 harmony and consistency in our external con- 
 duct, equanimity, abstinence from all violence, 
 from all passionate heat and precipitation ought 
 to be a particular object of the study of people 
 of a violent temper. 
 
 The art of expressing ourselves concisely, 
 clearly and with energy, without circumlocution 
 and with warmth, and of accommodating our- 
 selves to the capacities of those with whom we 
 converse so as not to tire them : the gift of 
 relating well and with humour, without laugh- 
 ing at our own sallies, of representing our 
 object drily or in a smiling shape, in a serious 
 or a comical garment and in its natural colours, 
 is a great talent which can be acquired only by 
 study and close application. If we aim at some 
 perfection in this great art we must study our 
 person, have a proper command over our coun- 
 tenance, guard against all unnatural distortions 
 of the face, and if we know that certain ges- 
 tures give our form a disagreeable appearance, 
 endeavour to avoid them as much as possible.
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 4? 
 
 Our port and gestures must be noble. It is 
 therefore highly improper to put our head, arms, 
 and all other limbs in motion like people of 
 the lowest class, when we speak of unimportant 
 and unaffccting subjects. When \veoonversewith 
 others we ought to look them mildly andmodestly 
 in the face, and to avoid carefully to play with the 
 buttons of our coat or any thing else. In short, 
 every thing that bespeaks a polite education 
 and attention to ourselves is required if our 
 conversation be to please, and it is highly 
 important we should not indulge ourselves in 
 these apparently trifling matters, and observe 
 every rule of the strictest decorum, even in the 
 circle of our family, in order to render those 
 things natural and habitual to us which we so 
 frequently neglect, and which appear to us to 
 be an onerous restraint if we accustom our- 
 selves to disregard them. It would lead me too 
 far beyond the limits of this work were I to 
 enlarge more minutely here on this point ; I 
 shall therefore only remark in general that it is 
 highly improper to interrupt others when they 
 are speaking; that civility requires we should 
 take the plate which our neighbour offers to us 
 at table, though we should not incline to eat 
 any of the viands that arc upon it, and to give
 
 48 
 
 it farther in order to save him the trouble to 
 hold it longer in his hands on our account ; 
 to turn our back as little as possible to other 
 people; to be careful to commit no mistakes in 
 names and titles ; when \ve are walking with 
 people who are punctilious, to let him that is 
 superior to us always go on the right side, or 
 in the middle if there be three together ; to 
 open the window a little or at least to make a 
 movement as if we were going to do so, when 
 some person passes our house and salutes us ; 
 that we ought to observe the same rule when 
 we are in a coach ; that we should not stare 
 impudently at those with whom we converse, 
 but look open and free in their face, have a 
 proper command over our voice, not halloo, 
 and yet speak distinctly, preserve a certain dig- 
 nity in our gait, and not take the lead of the 
 conversation in all companies ; that when we 
 are walking with a lady we must offer her our 
 left arm if she do not walk conveniently 
 on the right side ; that on steep stairs we must 
 let the ladies go before us in descending, but 
 in ascending walk before them ; that when 
 people do not comprehend us and we foresee that 
 a more minute explanation would be of no use, 
 or when the subject is of so little importance as
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 40 
 
 'not to deserve a great expenditure of words we 
 ought to give up our point ; that people of 
 rank if they be biassed by prejudices will be 
 offended if one who is inferior to them men- 
 tion their name along with his own, as for 
 instance, " We have won yesterday at play :" 
 for they require to be treated as if they alone 
 were worth mentioning ; that it is improper in 
 company to whisper in the ear of our neigh- 
 bour, to lean our head upon our hands at table, 
 or to make an tick faces ; that it is a breach of 
 good breeding to spoil an innocent joke in 
 company, for instance, when a person exhibits 
 tricks with cards and we know the manner of 
 proceeding, to expose him ; that it is improper 
 to return a toothpick to the person who obliged 
 us with it after having used it ; that we ought 
 not to call people ten times back to inform them 
 of numerous trifles which we forgot to mention 
 when they parted with us at the door or in. 
 the street ; that it is a very unbecoming custom 
 to have always something between our fingeri 
 or in our mouth with which we amuse ourselves 
 while we are in conversation with others j that 
 we first ought to beg leave when we want to 
 read a letter or to do any thing else of that 
 nature in the presence of others ; that when 
 VOL. r. E
 
 5$ PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 we pass some person to whom we owe respect, 
 propriety requires we should pull off our hat on 
 the side which is opposite to that where he 
 walks, lest we should touch him with it or 
 prevent his seeing our face ; that it is a breach 
 of decorum to sit in an awkward posture at 
 table, to make ridiculous faces, or to suffer a 
 lady or a person who is our superior to assist 
 others with viands from a dish that stands before 
 us, &c. &c. People of a certain rank and such 
 as have not had a very common education know 
 these trifling rules from their infancy ; I must 
 however observe that a neglect of them is not 
 looked upon as indifferent by many, and fre- 
 quently can hurt us materially in the opinion of 
 those on whom our fortune depends. 
 
 ^ L. THERE are some more social improprie- 
 ties and incongruities which we must avoid and 
 which will appear to us in their proper light if 
 we consider what the consequence would be, if 
 every individual of the company in which we 
 are were to take the same liberty ; for instance, 
 to sleep during sermon ; to talk in a con- 
 cert ; to whisper into the ear of a friend 
 behind the back of another, or to make signs 
 to the former which the latter could apply to 
 himself; to talk privately in company with a
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 51 
 
 friend ; to expose ourselves if we dance or play 
 an instrument indifferently, and thus to excite 
 the merriment of the company or to make them 
 yawn ; when people want to make room for us, 
 to run ten times in all directions against them 
 as Yorick did to the Marchioness of S * * at 
 Milan ; to play at cards although we know the 
 game but indifferently, and thus to tire the 
 patience of those that play against us, or to 
 make our partners lose their money by our 
 want of skill ; to hum the tune which we are 
 dancing ; to stand in the playhouse, and thus to 
 prevent those that sit behind us from seeing; to 
 come later into company, to leave it sooner, or 
 to stay longer than the rest. Avoid all such 
 improprieties ! Look not into the papers of 
 others, nor stay alone in an apartment where 
 money, notes or writings are on the table. If 
 two persons who walk before you converse 
 softly and cautiously with each other, you 
 ought to make some noise to prevent all sus- 
 picion of being inclined to overhear them, and 
 to spare them a disagreeable perplexity. Tri- 
 fling as such marks of discretion may appear to 
 some of my readers, yet they tend to render 
 conversation pleasant and easy, and therefore 
 ought to be attended to. 
 E 2
 
 52 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 LI. WE arc frequently tired and vexed at 
 the tediousness and prolixity of those with 
 whom we happen to converse. Reason, pru- 
 dence and, charity require we should exert all 
 our patience on such occasions if we cannot 
 avoid them, and not to betray our displeasure 
 by rudeness and an insulting conduct. The 
 more inane such a discourse, and the more 
 talkative the person is who delivers it, the more 
 are we at liberty to reflect upon other subjects. 
 But suppose this should not be, we ought at 
 least to recollect how many hours we dream 
 away uselessly. We owe besides some sacri- 
 fice to the societies which we frequent, and 
 should consider that we also frequently tire 
 others by our discourses, however high our 
 opinion may be of the importance of our 
 deliveries. 
 
 ' LII. SOME people possess an innate facility 
 of conversing with men, and a natural gift to 
 form many new connections with the greatest 
 ease, and to obtain the good opinion of others 
 in a short time ; whereas others labour under a 
 certain habitual timidity and bashfulness, of 
 which they cannot divest themselves although 
 they see daily new faces. This timidity is 
 undoubtedly but too often the consequence of
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 53 
 
 an erroneous and defective education, and 
 sometimes arises also from a secret vanity which 
 renders them fearful not to appear to advantage. 
 This fearful ness in the company of strangers 
 seems to be constitutional with many people, 
 and all their struggles to shake it off arc fruit- 
 Jess. A certain reigning Prince who is one of 
 the most deserving and sensible men whom I 
 know, and who also has not the least reason to 
 be bashful on account of his person, nor to fear his 
 producing unfavourable impressions, has assured 
 me, that although he was used from his infancy 
 to see every day new faces and large companies, 
 yet he could never step into his anti-chamber 
 where his courtiers were assembled without 
 being entirely blinded as it were for some 
 moments. Yet that timidity leaves that amiable 
 Prince as soon as he has collected himself a 
 little, when he converses freely and kindly 
 with every one, and starts better subjects than 
 his brethren in general are apt to introduce on 
 such occasions, when the weather, their dogs, 
 horses and similarunimportant objects commonly 
 arc the sole theme of their discourses. 
 
 A certain ease in conversation and the gift 
 to appear to advantage on the first interview, as 
 well as to enter without restraint into conver-
 
 54 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 sation with strangers, and to distinguish at first 
 sight whom we have before us and what sub- 
 ject we ought to introduce, are therefore 
 qualities which we cannot improve and cultivate 
 too diligently. It is however to be wished that 
 this might never degenerate into that sort of 
 impudence and importunity which is so pecu- 
 liar to adventurers, who sometimes contrive to 
 learn in less than an hour's time the lives of a 
 whole company, and arc always ready to relate 
 their own adventures ; who do not blush to 
 solicit without hesitation the friendship and the 
 kind offices of every new acquaintance^ or to 
 offer their services and protection to people 
 whom they see for the first time. The princi- 
 pal point in conversation is to be able to fall 
 easily in with the tone which is new to us, and 
 display and advance nothing in the circles to 
 which we are introduced that is neither valued 
 nor understood there. 
 
 ^ LIII. IT is therefore also necessary you 
 should not take too great pretensions with you 
 into all circles to which you are admitted. 
 Prudence requires you should not expect to be 
 looked upon as the chief person in all compa- 
 nies, to shine and to bo distinguished, nor pre- 
 sume to desire that all eyes should be directed
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 55 
 
 exclusively at you, and all cars listen only to 
 jour conversation. If you disregard this advice 
 you may be certain that you will imagine your- 
 self to be neglected in all companies, act a 
 pitiful part, become troublesome to yourself and 
 others, flee the society of men and be shunned 
 by them in return. I know many people of 
 this description who, whenever they are to 
 appear in an advantageous light, must be the 
 centre around which the whole company moves; 
 and there are also a great number who in 
 Social Life can bear the society of no one that 
 could be compared with them. They are excel- 
 lent, noble, great, useful, beneficent and witty, 
 when they arc the only persons in company to 
 whom we direct our discourse, requests, expecta- 
 tions and hopes ; but little, mean, revengeful and 
 weak ns soon as they are to range themselves 
 in rank and file, and destroy every edifice the 
 building of which has not been superintended 
 by themselves, nay even their own structure if 
 another person have added a small ornament to 
 it. This is an unhappy and unsociable dispo- 
 sition. If you wish to live happy yourself and 
 to render others so, I would advise you in 
 general to expect and to demand in this sublu- 
 nary world as little as possible. 
 1
 
 56 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 LIV. THUS much on external decorum and 
 good manners ! I now shall add only a few 
 words more on dress. Let your dress be neither 
 above nor beneath your situation ; not above 
 nor beneath your fortune ; not fantastical nor 
 too gay, nor ostentatiously sumptuous, splendid 
 and extravagant, but clean, decent and taste- 
 ful ; and if you must live sumptuously let your 
 expenses be tributary to solidity and elegance. 
 Distinguish yourself neither by an old-fashioned 
 dress nor by imitating every modish foppery. 
 Bestow a more than common attention to your 
 attire when you must mix with the higher 
 classes. We are distressed in company if we 
 are conscious of appearing in an improper attire. 
 
 Never wear borrowed garments ; for this has 
 the most noxious influence upon the character 
 in more than one respect. 
 
 LV. IP you ask ( whether it be better to 
 go often or seldom in company,' I must refer 
 you to your own individual situation. The 
 circumstances, wants, and many other trifling 
 considerations of different persons may render 
 either one or the other more advisable and 
 eligible ; I must however make the general 
 remark, that we ought never to intrude upon 
 people nor to visit them too often ; and as we
 
 OP SOCIAL LIPB. 57 
 
 cannot always please every one, that it is better 
 our friends and acquaintances should ask us, 
 * why we see them so rarely ?' than complain of 
 our coming too often and intruding ourselves 
 every where. We have a certain internal sense 
 (if infatuation and presumption do not blind us) 
 which tells us whether our visit be agreeable or 
 not, and whether we may stay longer or ought 
 to take our leave ? The manner in which we 
 are treated by the children and domestics is 
 frequently a pretty unequivocal indication of 
 the disposition of their parents and masters 
 towards us. 
 
 As for the rest, I advise you to form as few 
 familiar connections as possible ; to select only 
 a small circle of friends, and to be extremely 
 careful how you extend it. Men are but too 
 apt to abuse or to slight us if we become per- 
 fectly familiar with them. If we wish to live 
 comfortably, we must in general remain stran- 
 gers to others in some degree ; for then they 
 will spare and respect us, and court our society. 
 On this account it is highly eligible to live in 
 great cities where we every day can see other 
 people. This is extremely pleasing to a man 
 that is not timid amongst strangers ; for then 
 we hear frequently what we perhaps should not
 
 58 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 have learnt if we had been known to the com- 
 pany. No person watches us and we can make 
 many useful observations. 
 
 LVI. As for the rest, I advise you also for 
 vour own sake and that of others never to 
 
 y 
 
 believe any society to be so entirely indifferent, 
 or the discourse of any person so totally inane, 
 as to render it impossible for you to learn at 
 least something- from it, or to derive from it 
 matter for reflection. .- 
 
 Do not desire to meet in all companies- with 
 erudition and fine culture ; but prefer, encou- 
 rage and promote sound natural understanding 
 and plain sense; afford those that are gifted 
 with it opportunities to display and to exert it, 
 and mix with people of all ranks, and you will 
 acquire by degrees the tone and disposition of 
 mind which time and circumstances will demand. 
 
 $ LVII. BUT with whom are we to converse 
 most frequently ? The solution of this query 
 naturally must be modified by the particular 
 situation of every individual. If we can choose, 
 (which en passant is oftener the case than we 
 think), it will, always be advisable to select those 
 for owr companions that are wiser than our- 
 selves, people of whom we can icarn something 
 useful^ who do not Halter and are superior ,to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 5(> 
 
 iis. We prefer however but too frequently to 
 assemble around us a circle of inferior geniuses, 
 who whirl around us in obsequious gyration a 
 often as our superior mind is pleased to brandish 
 its magical wand ; the consequence of which is 
 that we always remain as we were, and never 
 improve in wisdom and virtue. There are 
 indeed situations in Social Life in which it i 
 useoil and instructive to mix with people of all 
 capacities, nay, where it is our duty to con- 
 verse not only with persons of whom we can 
 learn something, but also with such as can 
 derive instruction from us* and have no right to 
 demand it ; but this condescension ought never 
 to be carried so far as to endanger the account 
 which we must give one time of the use of our 
 life and of our duty to strive at greater per- 
 fection. 
 
 ^ LVIII. THE tone that prevails in compa- 
 nies is frequently uncommonly singular and 
 unaccountable. Prejudice, vanity, custom, 
 authority, the desire of imitating others, and 
 Heaven knows what more, frequently render 
 that tone so peculiar, that sometimes people 
 who live in the same place, meet and converse 
 with each other year after year, and talk of 
 subjects in such a manner as renders their con-
 
 60 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 versation highly tiresome and tedious to the 
 whole company and to every individual member 
 of it. They believe however nevertheless to be 
 obliged to submit to the inconvenience of con- 
 tinuing that sort of life without interruption. 
 Can it be maintained with the least colour of 
 truth that most fashionable circles afford only to 
 a single member real pleasure ? How often do 
 we find scarcely ten persons amongst fifty that 
 take up the cards who play from inclination ? 
 It is therefore highly ridiculous if free and inde- 
 pendent people who live in small towns, or even 
 in villages and could enjoy life in a rational 
 manner, unshackled by the onerous fetters of 
 fashion, bend their necks under that painful 
 and -cumbersome yoke in order to imitate the 
 fashionable follies of the capital. If we have 
 some influence over our neighbours and fellow- 
 citizens, it is our duty to contribute as much as 
 lies in our power to render that tone more 
 rational. But if this should not be the case 
 and we happen to drop singly into such a circle, 
 it will be prudent in us not to encrease by an 
 awkward, sullen or morose conduct, the unea- 
 siness of the landlord and his guests, but 
 rather to shew ourselves as masters of the art of 
 talking much without saying anything, and to
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 6l 
 
 claim at least the merit to fill up a vacancy 
 which otherwise would have been occupied by 
 slander. 
 
 In populous and large cities we arc least ob- 
 served and can live according to our inclination; 
 for there we are under less restraint, less watched 
 and controlled ; our domestic concerns are less 
 exposed to observation and censure ; we may 
 walk about unobserved, peaceably and undis- 
 turbed, transact our business and choose a mode 
 of life as we think it most convenient. But in 
 small towns we are doomed to keep a strict 
 account with a number of frequently tiresome 
 acquaintances, cousins, &c. &c. of the visits 
 we arc expected to pay and to receive, which 
 generally begin at an early hour in the after- 
 noon and last till ten or eleven o'clock at night, 
 during which time the news from the capital, 
 politics and similar edifying subjects are com- 
 monly the sole topics of conversation. This is 
 undoubtedly highly painful to a man of sense ; 
 yet there are means of refining by degrees the 
 tone of conversation in such places, or of pre- 
 vailing upon the weak Public after we have been 
 scandalized a few months, to suffer us to live 
 in our own manner, if we arc honest, humane, 
 obliging and sociable. In villages and at our
 
 (52 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 country seats we may undoubtedly live most 
 comfortable ; and a person that is desirous to 
 make a good use of his time and to contribute 
 to the happiness of others, finds there numerous 
 opportunities to be a benefactor of the most 
 useful but too much neglected class : social 
 pleasures are however more difficult to be 
 procured in the country than in cities and 
 towns. In those moments our heart is most in 
 want of the society of some dear friend, the 
 faithful partner in our joys and sorrows being 
 perhaps many miles distant from us, unless we 
 be rich enough to collect a whole army of 
 friends around us; but this is also attended 
 with many inconveniences, and very rich people 
 feel besides this want but rarely. If you wish 
 to live happy in the country, you must therefore 
 . learn the great art to relish and to discover the 
 good qualities of those that happen to be about 
 you, not to grow tired of simple pleasures, to 
 husband them well, and to give them a pleasing 
 variety. 
 
 Our conversation in the country is very apt 
 to grow tiresome and insipid, because our wives, 
 children and domestic friends are constantly 
 about us. This may be remedied by a store of 
 good books which afford new matter for conver-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 03 
 
 sation, by an interesting correspondence with 
 absent friends that are dear to us, and by a wise 
 management of our time. No pleasure is 
 sweeter in the country than that of meeting 
 our little social circle in the evening of a well- 
 spent day, after we have performed some useful 
 business, either to take a walk, or to unbend 
 our mind by cheerful conversation and innocent 
 sports : but nothing is more dreadful than to 
 see people in small towns or in the country, 
 who must meet every day, constantly quarrel 
 with each other, although they are not rich 
 enough to be entirely independent. They ren- 
 der their existence miserable in the last degree. 
 It is therefore highly important for people that 
 reside in small towns or in the country, to be 
 indulgent, obliging, pliant, circumspect and 
 prudent in their conduct, and to observe a kind 
 of coquetry in conversation, in order to prevent 
 misunderstanding, disgust and aversion. But 
 we have also no where more reason to be cau- 
 tious with regard to our discourses and actions 
 than in small towns, and such places where a 
 narrow-minded tone prevails, because those 
 that live there have little amusement, and fre- 
 quently know of no other diversion than to 
 repeat the story of every gossip and to meddle
 
 4 PRCATICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 with the affairs of their neighbours and ac- 
 quaintances. 
 
 LIX. IN foreign countries we cannot be 
 too circumspect in conversation from various 
 considerations. It is always very necessary not 
 to slight certain relations, whether we travel 
 for the sake of instruction, or in political or 
 economical concerns, or only to amuse our- 
 selves. If we travel to gather instruction, we 
 ought above all things to consider in what coun- 
 try we are, and whether we may speak of and 
 inquire after every thing without exposing our- 
 selves to danger or vexation. There are but 
 too many states where the government severely 
 punishes those that bring certain works of dark- 
 ness to light. In such countries circumspection 
 is highly necessary as well in our conversations 
 and inquiries as in the choice of those with 
 whom we form connections. On this occasion 
 I must observe, that very few travellers have a 
 right to trouble their head about the internal 
 constitution of foreign countries ; yet curiosity 
 and a certain impulse of restless activity unites 
 in our age large numbers, to collect in foreign 
 hotels, inns and clubs dubious anecdotes for 
 the composition of some indigested work, 
 while they would have found at home sufficient
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. t)5 
 
 to do and to learn, if they really had the welfare 
 of mankind as much at heart as they pretend. 
 It is obvious that this precaution is doubly neces- 
 sary when we have something to ask or to trans- 
 act for our own benefit in a foreign place. As 
 in such a case many eyes are directed at us, we 
 must avoid all connection with people who 
 being dissatisfied with the existing government 
 are eager to throw themselves into the way of fo- 
 reigners, because they have injured their charac- 
 ter by their imprudent conduct, and thus de- 
 prived themselves of the means of obtaining 
 civil advantages, which they however seem to 
 scorn as the fox did the grapes. They seek to 
 raise themselves a little in the opinion ^f their 
 fellow-citizens by intruding themselves upon 
 foreigners, attending them every where on their 
 walks, and thus leading others to suppose that 
 they have connections abroad. A foreigner 
 who intends to stop only a few days at a place 
 may without danger rove about at pleasure with 
 these generally garrulous Cicerornes, who com- 
 monly are provided with a large store of jocular 
 and scandalous talesand anecdotes : noman of sense 
 will blame him for it. But a person that means to 
 stay some time at a place and wishes to be intro- 
 duced to politer circles, or has totransactbusiness 
 VOL. i. E
 
 66 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ofconsequence, will do well to consult theopinion 
 of the public in the choice of his connections. 
 
 Almost every town contains a party of such 
 malcontents who are dissatisfied either with go- 
 vernment or with the majority of their fellow- 
 citizens. Do not associate with such people, 
 nor choose your connections from among them. 
 They either imagine they do not receive that 
 attention to which they presume to be entitled, 
 or are of a turbulent, calumniating, malevolent, 
 artful, immoral and arrogant disposition. As 
 they are shunned by their fellow-citizens for one 
 or the other of these reasons, they establish 
 among themselves an association which they 
 endeavour to strengthen, by alluring people of 
 understanding and probity by flattery and 
 other despicable means. Avoid as much as pos- 
 sible all intercourse with such people, and every 
 thing in general that breathes party spirit, if you 
 wish to live comfortably. 
 
 LX. EPISTOLARY correspondence is a con- 
 versation carried on by letters; almost all the 
 rules which we have given for social conversa- 
 tion may therefore be applied to our literary in- 
 tercourse with others. Do therefore not extend 
 your correspondence too much; for this answers 
 no reasonable purpose, and is not only expen-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 67 
 
 &ive, but also will take away much of your time. 
 Be as cautious in the choice of those with whom 
 you cultivate a familiar correspondence as you 
 ought to be in the selection of your daily com- 
 panions. Take a firm resolution never to write 
 a letter that contains not something that can be 
 useful, or afford real pleasure to the person to 
 whom it is directed. Circumspection is still 
 more necessary in writing than in speaking. It 
 is also highly important we should take proper 
 care of the letters which we receive. It will 
 scarcely be believed how much vexation, ani- 
 mosity and discord can arise from the neglect of 
 this rule of prudence. A single irrevocable 
 word written in a letter, a single slip of paper 
 left carelessly upon the table or dropped by ac- 
 cident has frequently utterly ruined the peace 
 of many persons, and destroyed the happiness of 
 whole families. We can therefore not be too 
 circumspect with regard to our letters and to 
 writing in general. "I repeat it, a heedless word 
 which we utter is generally soon forgotten, but 
 one that is written can produce the greatest mis- 
 chief even after the lapse of many years. 
 
 Letters whose speedy and careful delivery is 
 of some importance to you ought always to be 
 sent by the regular post, and never to be trans- 
 F 2
 
 68 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 mitted from motives of oeconomy by travellers 
 or enclosed to others, for we can rarely rely 
 upon the punctuality of people in general. 
 
 Never read your letters if possible in the pre- 
 sence of others but always when you are by 
 yourself; for the contrary is a breach of civility, 
 and also may lead you to betray their contents 
 by your change of countenance. 
 
 There are people particularly among the la- 
 dies, who trouble their friends and acquaint- 
 ances that live with them in the same place on 
 every trifling occasion with notes and penny- 
 post letters, a custom which is extremely im- 
 proper as it encroaches upon the time of many 
 persons who know how to employ it to a better 
 purpose, and are not at leisure to read and to 
 answer every useless scrawl which is sent to 
 them by idle people. 
 
 LXI. BELIEVE always that most people are 
 not half so good as their friends represent them, 
 nor half so bad as they are painted by their ene- 
 mies, and you may be certain that you will 
 derive many important benefits from it. 
 
 Judge not of men by their words but by their 
 deeds, and choose for your observations those 
 moments in which they do not suspect to be 
 observed by you. Direct your attention to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 69 
 
 their less important proceedings, but not to ac- 
 tions of great moment which generally are per- 
 formed with more precaution and circumspec- 
 tion. Observe the humour which a "healthy 
 man displays when he awakes from sleep, and 
 the disposition which he shews in the prior part 
 of the day when body and soul appear in their 
 morning dress. Endeavour to learn what sort 
 of viands and beverage he likes best : whether 
 he prefers very substantial and simple food or 
 high seasoned and compound dishes ; observe 
 his gait and port, whether he loves to walk by 
 himself or prefers to lean upon the arm of an 
 other ; whether he walks in a strait line or cros- 
 ses the way of his companion, runs against 
 others and treads upon their feet; whether he 
 dislikes walking by himself and always must have 
 a person to attend him ; whether he uses to con- 
 sult his friends and acquaintances upon every 
 trifle, and regulates his conduct after that of his 
 neighbours and connections; whether he imme- 
 diately picks up what he has dropt, or leaves it upon 
 the ground and takes it up only when it is most 
 convenient to him ; whether he is used to inter- 
 rupt the discourse of others, and monopolizes as 
 it were the conversation ; whether he is fond of 
 being mysterious, and accustomed to call people
 
 70 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 aside to whisper trifling matters in their ear ; 
 whether he is eager to decide in every matter 
 that is brought upon the carpet, &c. &c. The 
 hand-writing of people corresponds also fre- 
 quently with their character. All children 
 whose education I have superintended have 
 learnt to shape their letters after the form of 
 mine, but as soon as their disposition began to 
 unfold itself every one added gradually some 
 features of his own. At the first view their 
 hand- writing seemed to be alike; but upon more 
 minute examination, I could discover laziness in 
 the manner of one, and in that of others nar- 
 rowness of soul, inconsistency, thoughtlessness, 
 firmness, perverseness, regularity, or any other 
 peculiarity. Collect all these observations care- 
 fully; but be not so unjust as to judge of the 
 whole character by a few of these and similar 
 traits. Be not too partial to people that are 
 more civil to you than others. 
 
 Beware to rely firmly upon the love and 
 friendship of others, before you have proofs of 
 their affection that have cost them some sacri- 
 fice. Most people that seem to be cordially 
 devoted to us, shrink back as soon as occasion 
 demands they should suppress their favourite in- 
 clination on our account. This is the real stand-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 71 
 
 ard by which we can judge how we ought to 
 value the attachment of others. It is no merit 
 "todo every thing in our power to oblige and to 
 please a friend while we can do it conveniently; 
 the real and only test of our sincere concern for 
 his happiness, consists in our readiness to pur- 
 chase his comfort even at the cxpence of our fa- 
 vourite propensities. 
 
 LXII. ALL these general and the subse- 
 quent special rules as well as many more which 
 I must leave to the judgment of my readers, lest 
 J should transgress the limits of this work, tend 
 to render conversation easy and pleasant and to 
 sweeten Social Life. But there may be some who 
 perhaps have particular reasons to disregard one 
 or the other of these rules, and in that case I 
 think it but just to leave every one at liberty 
 to promote his individual happiness in his own 
 way. I shall obtrude my specifics upon no 
 one. Those that wish neither for the favour of 
 the great nor for general applause nor fame, 
 that on account of their political or ceconomical 
 situation or from other reasons have no occa- 
 sion to extend the circle of their acquaintances, 
 and people who arc compelled by old age or in- 
 firmity to shun social conversation, are not in 
 want of these rules. We ought therefore to be
 
 /2 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 just enough to demand of no one that he should 
 accommodate himself to our customs, but let 
 him steer his own course; for as the happiness 
 of every individual depends upon the notions 
 which he entertains of it it would be cruel to 
 attempt to compel any one to be happy contrary 
 to his inclination. It is highly entertaining to 
 observe how busy some empty headed geniuses 
 sometimes are to decry a worthy man, who has 
 no inclination to accommodate himself to the 
 silly tone that prevails in their circles, and being 
 perfectly satisfied with his secluded existence 
 refuses to sacrifice his precious time to the pue- 
 rile whims of every fool. When we refuse to be 
 slaves to society we offend very often those busy 
 idlers who know of no other occupation than 
 to go from their beds to the looking-glass, thence 
 to dinner, from dinner to the card-table, and 
 then to bed again.. But this is extremely un- 
 just, and we ought to blame no one for refusing 
 to sacrifice his duty to sociability. To stay at 
 home and to do what we ought to do and for 
 which we are accountable, does indeed not de- 
 serve to be called a ridiculous singularity. 
 
 LXIII. BEFORE I point out the particular 
 rules which we must observe in the conversation 
 with men, I beg leave "to make one more obser-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 73 
 
 vation. Did I write only or principally forJadht} 
 I should have omitted or at least modified 
 many of the rules which I have laid down and 
 intend giving in the subsequent pages, or sub- 
 stituted others in their room which would be 
 less useful to men. This however is not the 
 scope of my book. Experienced and wise la- 
 dies alone can give to their sex the best rules for 
 regulating their conduct properly in Social Life; 
 this is a task in which a man would not succeed. 
 If however the fair sex should find in this work 
 some useful hints which they can apply to 
 themselves it would be no small satisfaction 
 to me. I only beg leave to observe here, that 
 ladies are restrained by many considerations 
 which do not concern our sex. They depend 
 more than men upon the opinion of the world, 
 and must be more cautious and reserved in their 
 conduct. On one hand they arc indulged with 
 more inadvertencies than our sex, and on the 
 other with more whims: their conduct begins 
 sooner to influence their character, while boys 
 and youths may be more heedless without inju- 
 ring themselves in a material degree ; their ex- 
 istence is (or at least ought to be) confined 
 chiefly to their domestic circle, whereas the 
 man is tied more firmly to the state by his skua-
 
 74 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 tion. From this reason many virtues and vices, 
 actions and omissions, produce entirely different 
 consequences if they be committed by one sex 
 than if chargeable upon the other. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 On the Conversation with Ourselves. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 JL HE duties which we have to observe towards 
 ourselves are of the last importance, to converse 
 with our own person can therefore neither be 
 useless nor uninteresting. It is inexcusable in 
 any man to live constantly abroad and to neg- 
 lect his own society in order to converse with 
 others, to flee as it were from himself, not to 
 cultivate his own Self, and nevertheless to med- 
 dle uninterruptedly with the concerns of others. 
 A man who makes it his daily occupation to live 
 abroad becomes a stranger in his own house; a 
 person that lives in a constant round of diver- 
 sions becomes a stranger to his own heart, is 
 compelled to strive to kill his internal weariness 
 in the croud of idle people, loses all confidence
 
 OP SOCIAL LIEE. 75 
 
 in himself and is in the greatest distress if ever 
 he find himself vis-a-vis with himself. The 
 man that frequents only those circles in which 
 he is flattered, grows so averse from the voice of 
 truth that at last lie shuts his ears against it if it 
 speak, in his heart. If his conscience neverthe- 
 less continue to reproach him, he plunges into 
 the bustle of society where that beneficial mo- 
 nitor is silenced. 
 
 II. TAKE therefore care not to neglect your 
 sincerest friend, your own self, so as to make 
 him turn his back on you when you are most in 
 want of him : alas! there will be moments in 
 which you dare not forsake yourself, though all 
 the world should relinquish you, moments in 
 which the conversation with your own self will 
 be your only comfort. But what will become 
 of you in such moments if you be at war with 
 your own heart, if this last and only friend too 
 deny you all kind of consolation and assistance? 
 
 III. BUT if you wish to find comfort, hap- 
 piness and peace in conversing with your own 
 self, you must display towards your own person 
 as much prudence, honesty, propriety and justice 
 as you ought to show in the society of others, 
 and neither exasperate nor depress yourself by 
 neglect, nor corrupt your heart by flattery.
 
 76 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 IV. TAKE care of the health of your soul as 
 well as of that of your body; but spoil neither the 
 one nor the other by too much tenderness. The 
 man that endangers his constitution by too much 
 labour or excess, squanders away a treasure 
 which frequently is alone sufficient to raise him 
 above men and fate, and without which the 
 wealth of all the world is not worth a pin. But 
 he that dreads every breeze of air and is fearful 
 to exert and toexercisehis limbs, lives a nerveless 
 life of constant anxiety, and attempts in vain to 
 put the rusty springs in motion when he has oc- 
 casion to exert his natural powers. A man that 
 constantly exposes his mind to the tempests of 
 passion, or incessantly crowds the sails of his 
 spirit, either runs aground or must return with 
 his leaky vessel into port, when the best season 
 for making new discoveries sets in. But he that 
 suffers the faculties of his understanding and me- 
 mory constantly to sleep, or shudders at every 
 little struggle or at any sort of painful exertion, 
 enjoys not only very little of the sweets of life, 
 but is also totally lost as soon as energy, courage 
 and resolution is required. 
 
 Take therefore care not to torment yourself 
 by imaginary sufferings of the body or the soul; 
 do not give way to every adverse incident or
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 77 
 
 corporeal affliction ! Take courage and be reso- 
 lute! All the storms of adversity are transient; 
 all difficulties can be overcome by firmness of 
 mind, and the remembrance of every loss can be 
 exploded from the memory if we bend our atten- 
 tion upon some other object. 
 
 V. Have a proper regard for yourself if you 
 wish to be esteemed by others. Do nothing 
 secretly of which you would be ashamed if a 
 stranger were to sec it. Act well and properly, 
 rather to preserve your regard for yourself than 
 to please others. Do not indulge yourself with 
 regard to your dress and appearance when you 
 are alone. Do not walk about in a dirty, ragged 
 and improper attire, nor slovenly and negligently 
 when you are not observed. Preserve a proper 
 sense of your internal dignity. Never lose your 
 reliance upon yourself, and upon the conscious- 
 ness of your value in the eyes of your Creator ; 
 and although you are sensible not to be as wise 
 and capable as others, yet do not despair to come 
 up with them ; let not your zeal slacken, nor be 
 wanting in probity of heart ! 
 
 VI. Do not despair nor grow faint-hearted 
 if you cannot attain that degree of moral or in- 
 tellectual greatness at which an other has arri- 
 ved, and be not so unjust as to overlook those i 
 
 I
 
 /S PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 advantages which you perhaps have before him. 
 But suppose this should not be the case, is it 
 possible we all could be equally great? Resist the 
 desire to rule or to act a conspicuous part. Alas ! 
 you do not know how dearly we often must pay 
 for it. I am very sensible that it is extremely 
 difficult to conquer the desire to become a great 
 man; if we be firmly persuaded vvearegifted with 
 great abilities and possess internal merit, par- 
 ticularly if we live amongst a herd of nerveless 
 beings who are destitute of mental and bodily 
 energy, and see how little they value our worth, 
 how little influence we have upon them, how 
 little they are sensible of our superiority, and 
 how arrogantly the most pitiful and the dullest 
 geniuses, who attain the object of their pre- 
 sumptuous wishes without any exertion of their 
 own, look down upon us. It is truly hard! You 
 try all ways and means to obtain the reward due 
 to your merits and to render yourself useful; 
 but all your attempts are fruitless, and the state 
 remains blind to your worth. You attempt to 
 distinguish yourself by the superiour excellence 
 of your domestic establishment; but your in- 
 come is too small, and your wife does not sup- 
 port you properly ; your spirit is depressed by 
 domestic cares, and thus you are compelled to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIPE. 79 
 
 keep in the common road; you perceive with 
 pain that your abilities are doomed to lie dor- 
 mant, and that the springs of your soul grow 
 rusty from inactivity ; but you cannot resolve 
 to have recourse to the usual artifices to render 
 yourself important, and to excite the attention of 
 your cotemporaries by a pompous shew of your 
 capacities; nor can you reconcile yourself to a 
 life of obscurity and idleness. I confess your 
 situation is truly painful and unfortunate: Yet do 
 not despair; have confidence in yourself and trust 
 to Providence! There exists a greatness which is 
 independent on men, fate and the applause of the 
 world ; it consists in the internal consciousness 
 of our merit and rectitude ; and our sense of it 
 grows stronger the less it is taken notice of. 
 
 VII. Be an agreeable companion to your- 
 self: that is, never be entirely unoccupied, nor 
 have too often recourse to the store of know- 
 ledge which you have treasured up in your soul; 
 but collect new ideas from books and men. It 
 is astonishing how tiresome we grow to ourselves 
 and others if we ruminate constantly only upon 
 our favourite ideas, and how soon we then ac- 
 custom ourselves to reject all other notions that 
 differ from those upon which we are used to feed 
 day after day.
 
 60 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 Our own society does however never grow 
 more tedious and distressing to ourselves than 
 when we have painful accounts to settle with 
 our heart and conscience. If you wish to con- 
 vince yourself of the truth of this assertion you 
 need but to observe the difference of your dis- 
 position. How much dissatisfied with ourselves^ 
 how absent and how burthensome to ourselves 
 are we after a train of hours which we have tri- 
 fled away or spent in doing wrong, and how 
 serene, how happy to reflect upon our conduct, 
 and to give audience to our ideas at the close of 
 a well -spent day ! 
 
 ^ VIII. You must however not be satisfied 
 with being merely an agreeable and entertaining 
 companion to yourself, but also avoid all sort of 
 self-flattery and show yourself your own best and 
 sincerest friend. If you desire to be as kind and 
 obliging to your own person as you are to your 
 acquaintances, you must also be as severe and 
 just to yourself as you are to others. We are 
 but too apt to be indulgent to ourselves while 
 we censure the conduct of others with the great- 
 est rigour, and to impute our deviations from 
 the right path, though we acknowledge them as 
 sails to fate or to irresistible impulsions, while we
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 81 
 
 treat our erring brethren with intolerance. This 
 is however extremely wrong and unjust. 
 
 IX. LET not the consciousness of your 
 being better and wiser than others that are of 
 your age and in a situation similar to yours, be 
 the standard by which you estimate your merits; 
 but judge of the real value of your deserts by 
 your capacities, your education and the oppor- 
 tunities which you have had to grow wiser and 
 better than many others. Give frequently an 
 impartial account to yourself on this point in 
 the hours of solitude, and ask yourself as an 
 unprejudiced judge, how you have improved all 
 opportunities to attain a higher degree of per- 
 fection ? 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 On the Conversation with People of different 
 Tempers and Dispositions. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 W E allow generally that there are four diffe- 
 rent kinds of temper, and maintain that a man is 
 either of a choleric, a phlegmatic, a sanguine, 
 VOL. i. G
 
 82 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 or a melancholy disposition. Although neither 
 of these tempers ever prevail so exclusively in 
 our constitution as not to be modified in a smal- 
 ler or greater degree by some allay of another, 
 which infinite mixture produces the most admi- 
 rable variety; yet one of these four cardinal 
 winds generally exercises a peculiar power over 
 the vessel of every son of Eve, to direct its 
 course on the ocean of life. People who are 
 entirely of a choleric temper are extremely dan- 
 gerous to the peace and tranquillity of those that 
 must live in their society. If your happiness 
 be dear to you you will do well to shun them as 
 much as possible; for their fire burns incessantly, 
 lights and consumes without warming. People 
 who are entirely of a sanguine temper arc weak 
 and inconsistent, destitute of energy and firm- 
 ness. Persons of an entirely melancholy temper 
 are s\\\\zy phlegmatic and a burden to themselves 
 and others. 
 
 People of a cholerico-sangu'me temper in gene- 
 ral are those that distinguish themselves most in 
 the world, are more feared than others, and are 
 more inclined to rule, to build and to destroy; 
 the cholerico-sanguine temper constitutes there- 
 fore the character which is the attribute of the 
 ruler and the despot ; if it be allayed with a
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 83 
 
 certain degree of a melancholy disposition it 
 produces a complete tyrant. 
 
 People of a sanguineo-phlegmatic temper en- 
 joy undoubtedly the happiest disposition. Their 
 life is generally the most tranquil and undistur- 
 bed ; they have a true relish of the pleasures 
 which the world affords, do not often abuse their 
 abilities, hurt no one ; but at the same time 
 perform no eminent deeds; yet if this character 
 attain the highest degree of which it is capable 
 it generally renders those that possess it volup- 
 tuaries of the coarsest and most stupid class. 
 
 Choleric o -melancholy people cause a great deal 
 of mischief ; thirst of blood, revenge, devasta- 
 tion, persecution of innocence and suicide are 
 frequently the consequences of this disposition. 
 
 People of a melancholy-sanguine temper gene- 
 rally light the torch of their life on both ends at 
 once, and ruin their body and soul. 
 
 Chokrico-phlegmattc tempers are rarely to be 
 met with : this composition seems to imply a 
 contradiction ; and yet there are people in whose 
 character these two extremes constantly succeed 
 each other like ebb and flood, and these dispo- 
 sitions are entirely unfit for occupations that 
 require cool reasoning and equanimity. They 
 can be put in action only with the greatest 
 G 2
 
 84 PEACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 difficulty, and when they are roused at last from 
 their inactivity, rage and foam like wild beasts 
 and spoil every thing by their furious impetuo- 
 sity. 
 
 Melancholy -phlegmatic dispositions are more 
 intolerable than any of the preceding descrip- 
 tion, and to live with them is for every rational 
 man hell upon earth. I repeat it once more, 
 the mixture of tempers is infinitely variegated ; 
 but where one of these dispositions decidedly 
 prevails we behold always certain virtues or vices 
 in its train which are peculiar to it. Thus 
 sanguine people for instance are generally vain, 
 but benevolent, sympathetic and take to every 
 thing that interests them with vivacity and 
 passion ; choleric tempers are commonly ambi- 
 tious; melancholy dispositions incline to mis- 
 trust and avarice, and people of a phlegmatic 
 temper persist obstinately in their prejudices to 
 save themselves the trouble of reflecting. We 
 must study the temper of men if we wish to 
 operate upon them in conversation. I can give 
 only a few hints with regard to this point if I 
 am to keep within the limits of this work. 
 
 II. People of an imperious disposition are 
 extremely difficult to be treated properly, and 
 entirely unfit for amicable and social conver-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 85 
 
 sation. They are determined to act every where 
 the principal part and want to be humoured on 
 every occasion. They not only despise what 
 has not been erected nor is directed by them- 
 selves, but also destroy it if they can : but when- 
 ever they have the lead, or at least are persuaded 
 they have it, they work with indefatigable zeal 
 and overcome all difficulties that are thrown in 
 their way. Two people of an imperious temper 
 if united to attain jointly the same object never 
 will produce any good, but be impelled by their 
 private passion to destroy every thing that comes 
 in their way. Thence we may easily conclude 
 how we must act if we be obliged to live in the 
 society of such people. 
 
 ^ III. AMBITIOUS people must be treated 
 with the same prudence and caution as those of 
 an imperious temper. The imperious possess 
 always a large share of ambition, but not all 
 people of an ambitious disposition are also of an 
 imperious temper. They will frequently be 
 satisfied with acting a subaltern part .provided 
 they may hope to be able to appear to advan- 
 tage; nay there are instances in which they 
 sometimes will seek honour in humiliation, they 
 resent however nothing with more implacability 
 than an attack of this weak side of theirs. 
 
 1
 
 86 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 IV. VAIN people want to be flattered ; 
 .praise affords them the greatest pleasure, and 
 they will be satisfied if we take much notice of 
 them, display attachment to them and admire 
 them, although we should not honour them 
 much. As every man has more or less desire 
 to please and to produce advantageous impres- 
 sions, we may sometimes indulge a good man 
 that is infected with this weakness in this point 
 without doing wrong, now and then drop a word 
 that pleases him, let him enjoy the praise which 
 he receives and even suffer him to applaud him- 
 self a little occasionally. It is however extremely 
 degrading for any man to act the mean part of a 
 low flatterer, who by cringing adulation infa- 
 tuates vain people in such a degree as to render 
 them averse to hear any thing but praise, 
 and make them shut their ears entirely against 
 the sacred voice of truth, and shun and depre- 
 ciate every good and candid man that cannot 
 resolve to demean himself, or thinks it improper 
 and rude to extol them in their presence. The 
 learned and ladies are particularly apt to be 
 spoiled by that sort of adulation, and I knew 
 some whose company on that account was insup- 
 portable to every plain-dealing man. At every 
 word which you are going to utter they expect
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. $7 
 
 eagerly to hearsomcthing flattering and obliging, 
 and cannot conceal their vexation and ill hu- 
 mour as soon as they find themselves disappoint- 
 ed. The last degree of this vanity leads to a 
 kind of egotism which renders us incapable for 
 all social and amicable connexions, and grows 
 as burdensome to the person infected with it as 
 it is disgusting to those that must live with him. 
 
 Although it would be wrong in us to flatter such 
 vain people, yet not all persons have a right to 
 attempt their reformation, particularly if they be 
 not at all connected with them, to lecture them 
 in a rude manner, to humble them, or to show 
 them less civility and kindness than they would 
 show to any other person ; and those that con- 
 itantly must live with them would act very 
 wrong were they to require this of us, and to 
 desire us to assist them in reforming their 
 spoiled friends. 
 
 Vain people are very apt to flatter others, 
 because they expect to be repaid in their own 
 coin. 
 
 V. ARROGANCE differs from imperiousness, 
 ambition and vanity as well as from pride. I 
 wish pride were regarded as a laudable equality 
 of mind, as a consciousness of internal superio- 
 rity and dignity, as a sense of our inability to
 
 88 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 commit a mean action. This pride produces 
 great and noble deeds ; it is the last support of 
 persecuted innocence, raises us above fate and 
 bad men, and compels even the powerful villain 
 to admire involuntarily the wise and good man 
 whom he oppresses. Arrogance on the con- 
 trary actuates us to boast of merits which we do 
 not possess, and to be proud of something that 
 has no intrinsic value. It is arrogance that 
 renders a blockhead proud of his titles and an- 
 cestry ! It is arrogance that renders the wealthy 
 citizen so stiff, rude and unsociable ! It is arro- 
 gance that infatuates the artist with so much 
 confidence in his supposed merits and talents, 
 which although acknowledged as such by no 
 person, raise him in his ideas far above all other 
 mortals. If no person admire him, he rather 
 will accuse the whole world of want of taste 
 than form the natural thought that his abilities 
 and skill cannot be so great as he supposes. 
 
 If this arrogance be the inhabitant of a poor 
 and disregarded subject, it becomes an object of 
 pity and rarely does much harm. It is gene- 
 rally attended by stupidity or ignorance, and of 
 course incorrigible by sound reasoning, and docs 
 not deserve to be treated with modesty and in- 
 dulgence. You cannot check arrogance better
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 8Q 
 
 than by repaying persons who are inflated with 
 it in their own way, by appearing not to be sen- 
 sible of their arrogance, or taking no notice of 
 them, and looking upon them as you would 
 look at an empty spot even when you want 
 their assistance ; for I know from my own 
 experience the more you humour them the more 
 insolence you will experience. But if you pay 
 them in their own coin their stupidity will 
 perplex them, and they will lower their high 
 strain. 
 
 ^ VI. IT is very unpleasant to converse with 
 irritable people who are easy to be offended. 
 This irritability may however originate from 
 different sources. If therefore we find that the 
 man with whom we must live and who is apt to 
 be irritated by the least unguarded word, or a 
 suspicious look, or by want of attention, if you 
 find that such a man be very prone to take 
 offence because he is inflated with vanity and 
 ambition, which is most frequently the case, or 
 because he has been vexed and deceived in 
 many instances by bad people, or because his 
 heart feels too tenderly, or he expects to receive 
 from others as much as he gives, you must 
 regulate your conduct accordingly, and avoid 
 every thing that can give offence, which how-
 
 0O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ever is extremely difficult. If such a man be 
 honest and reasonable notwithstanding his weak- 
 ness he will soon be reconciled again to you, 
 and easily pacified by an amicable and cool 
 explanation ; he will gradually be led to trust 
 his best friends, and perhaps even shake off his 
 weakness at last if you persist in treating him 
 with candour and liberality. None amongst 
 all those that are of that disposition are more 
 difficult to be satisfied and more burthensome 
 to society, than people who every moment think 
 they are neglected or not honoured enough. 
 Take care therefore not to abandon yourself to 
 that weakness lest you not only torment your- 
 self, but also disturb the peace and tranquillity 
 of those that are dear to your heart. 
 
 VII. OBSTIXATE people are by far more 
 tedious and troublesome companions than those 
 of an irascible temper. Yet they are never- 
 theless not quite intractable if they be reason- 
 able ; for then they generally soon give way to 
 the voice of Reason, become sensible of their 
 misconduct and our generosity, and grow more 
 pliable at least for a short time, if we refrain 
 from contradicting and opposing them in the 
 first heat of their passion ; but it is truly 
 distressing to be obliged to live and to transact
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. Ql 
 
 business with people whose obstinacy is attended 
 with stupidity and ignorance. We attempt in 
 vain to meet them with gentleness and argu- 
 ments. It is therefore advisable in most cases 
 to suffer such stiff-necked fools to prosecute 
 their own way blindly, and to entangle them so 
 much in their own ideas, plans and undertak- 
 ings as to compel them to apply for our assist- 
 ance when they are involved in difficulties by 
 their heedless and imprudent proceedings. If 
 in that case we let them struggle for some time 
 with the consequences of their heedless obsti- 
 nacy they will frequently grow humble and 
 ductile, and become sensible that they want an 
 intelligent guide. But if a weak and obstinate 
 man unfortunately happen but once to find 
 out that we were wrong in opposing him, or 
 surprise us in the commission of a trifling 
 fault, we must give up all hopes of ever leading 
 him again. He then will always presume to be 
 wiser than we are and suspect our judgment 
 and candour. 
 
 It is useless to reason with people of either 
 description in the first moments of their heat, 
 for this only renders them more obstinate. If 
 we depend upon them and receive orders from 
 them which we know will be disapproved by
 
 Q1 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 themselves afterwards, we can do no better 
 than to promise to execute them without 
 contradiction : but either to procrastinate 
 their execution till they have had time to con- 
 sider them more maturely, or to act secretly 
 according to our better judgment, which they 
 generally will approve in cooler moments if we 
 do but lead them to think that we imagined to 
 comply with their directions in acting as we 
 did, and refrain from boasting of the superiority 
 and greater coolness of our own judgment. 
 
 It can be useful and necessary only in very 
 few and very pressing instances to oppose 
 obstinacy to obstinacy, and to refuse absolutely 
 to give up our opinion, or to act contrary to 
 our better judgment. But this line of con- 
 duct ceases to produce salutary effects if we 
 observe it on trifling occasions or too often, or 
 even when we are in the wrong. A person who 
 constantly contradicts is generally suspected to 
 be always in the wrong. 
 
 VIII. PETULANCE is a disposition which 
 mostly arises from obstinacy, but sometimes 
 also originates merely from singularity or an 
 unsociable humour. There are people who 
 pretend to know every thing better than others, 
 contradict every one, frequently against their
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. Q3 
 
 o\vn conviction, merely for the sake of dis- 
 puting. There are others who are fond of 
 speaking in paradoxes, and accustomed to main- 
 tain assertions which no sensible man can take 
 seriously in the sense in which they utter them, 
 from no other motive than to provoke contradic- 
 tion ; there are finally others whom the French 
 call querelleurs (wranglers), that studiously seek 
 opportunities to engage in personal disputes, 
 in order to obtain a kind of triumph over timid 
 people, who at least are of a more fearful dis- 
 position than themselves. 
 
 If you must converse with people of these 
 descriptions, you will do well to preserve the 
 most unshaken firmness and not to suffer your- 
 self to be provoked. I advise you never to 
 dispute at all with those of the first class, and 
 to break off the discourse as soon as they con- 
 tradict out of petulance. This is the only 
 means of bridling their disputative spirit, and 
 saves a great many useless words. Those of 
 the second description you may sometimes 
 indulge with the pleasure to defend their para- 
 doxes against you ; but those of the last class 
 must be treated more severely. If you cannot 
 avoid their society, and attempt in vain to keep 
 them at a proper distance by coolness and
 
 04 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 reserve, and to ward off their rudeness, I 
 would advise you to meet them in so sensible a 
 manner as will be sufficient to deter them from 
 troubling you any further. Inform them with- 
 out either hesitation or circumlocution of your 
 opinion, and do not suffer yourself to be per- 
 plexed by their gasconading. My readers will 
 do me the justice to believe that I think of 
 duelling as every reasonable man ought to do, 
 namely, that it is an immoral and irrational 
 practice ; should however a person be compelled 
 by his station in life to conform to the prejudice 
 of rcturninginjuryforinjury, and to revenge itby 
 personal resentment, this can never be the case 
 when he is maliciously attacked without having 
 given any provocation, and it is extremely 
 wrong to use against a wrangler any other 
 weapon than contempt, or at most a cane, if 
 he carry his impudence too far ; and it is the 
 very height of folly to -\ give him afterwards a 
 chance to take away our life. 
 
 Many people are actuated by a singular spirit 
 of contradiction. They are always eager to 
 obtain what they never can possess, are never 
 satisfied with the actions of others, and dis- 
 pleased with every thing that is not exactly as 
 they desire it to be, although it may be ever 
 
 3
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 0$ 
 
 so excellent. It is pretty generally known that 
 people of this description frequently can be led 
 to act according to our wishes if we propose 
 the contrary of what we want to accomplish, or 
 can contrive to make them realize our own ideas 
 in opposition to ourselves. 
 
 $ IX. IRASCIBLE people rarely offend pur- 
 posely. They have however no comroul over 
 the impetuosity of their temper, and thus fre- 
 quently forget themselves in the height of their 
 passion so much as to offend even their dearest 
 friends, but repent afterwards of their heedless- 
 ness when it is too late. I need not to prove 
 that if these people deserve being humoured in 
 some degree on account of other good qualities, 
 wise compliance and gentle treatment are the 
 only means by which the irascible man can be 
 restored to the proper use of his reason. I 
 must however observe that by opposing a 
 phlegmatic coldness to his rage you will provoke 
 him more than by the most violent contra- 
 diction ; for he then will think himself despised 
 and grow more furious. 
 
 X. WHILE people of an irascible temper 
 offend only out of hccdlessness, and are as 
 ready to repent and to forgive as they are apt to 
 be irritated by trie least appearance of an injury,
 
 ,06 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 those of a revengeful disposition conceal their 
 resentment in their heart till they find an oppor- 
 tunity of giving vent to their vengeance. 
 They neither forget nor forgive an offence, 
 even not when you offer to be reconciled to 
 them, and use every means except cringing sub- 
 mission to regain their favour. A man of a 
 revengeful temper returns every injury which 
 he really has or only imagines to have received, 
 not in proportion to its greatness or importance 
 but thousandfold ; persecution for trifling of- 
 fences, vengeance for inconsiderate expressions, 
 public chastisement for private reproaches, and 
 hesitates not to destroy our happiness if we 
 offend his ambition. His resentment is not 
 confined to the person of the offender, but 
 extends itself even to his family, his civil exist- 
 ence and friends. It is truly extremely distress- 
 ing to live with such a man, and the only advice 
 I can give you, is to avoid as much as possible 
 to offend him, and to endeavour to inspire him 
 with a kind of respectful awe, which in general 
 is the only efficacious means to curb people of 
 a bad temper. 
 
 ^ XI. LAZY and phlegmatic people must be 
 spurred incessantly, and as almost every person 
 has at least one predominant passion, we find
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. Q7 
 
 sometimes an opportunity to put such drowsy 
 people in "motion by exciting it. 
 
 There are some among this class of people 
 who are prompted merely by irresolution to 
 postpone business that is attended with the 
 smallest trouble. To answer a letter, to write 
 a receipt, to pay a bill, &c. &c. is regarded by 
 them as a labour which requires the most tedious 
 preparation. People of this description must 
 sometimes actually be compelled by force to 
 take the most pressing business in hand ; yet 
 when they have finished their laborious task 
 they are generally obliged to us for our impor- 
 tunity, although they were not pleased with it 
 at first. 
 
 XII. THE company of mistrustful, suspicious, 
 morose and close people tends more than any 
 thing to imbitter the joys of Social Life to a 
 noble-minded and plain-dealing man. It re- 
 quires in truth a very high degree of unshaken 
 probity, if a man shall be able to avoid growing 
 bad and misanthropic himself, when he sees 
 that they are alarmed at every unguarded step 
 which he takes, and give room to ungenerous 
 suspicion on every trifling occasion, that their 
 bosom is inaccessible to every spark of exhilara- 
 ting joy that expands his hegrt ; that they are 
 
 VOL. i. H
 
 Q8 PRCATICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 determined to share no pleasing enjoyment with 
 him ; that they not only render the rapture of 
 those few serene moments which Fate dispenses 
 to us tasteless to him, but also disturb him 
 unfeelingly in his happiest and brightest hu- 
 mours, rouse him cruelly from his sweetest 
 dreams and never return his frankness, but 
 always are upon their guard and imagine to 
 behold an impostor in their most faithful servant, 
 and a treacherous enemy in their sincerest 
 friend. 
 
 This mental disease degenerates frequently 
 into misanthropy, a character which the amiable 
 author of The Stranger has painted in the most 
 natural and animated colours. 
 
 People of such an unhappy temper are sin- 
 cerely to be pitied ; for they live only to torment 
 themselves and others, and their lamentable 
 disposition arises not always from a depraved 
 heart. A corrupted and thick blood is fre- 
 quently the primary cause of such a temper, and 
 a long train of undeserved misfortunes contri- 
 butes very much to encrease this mental disease. 
 It originates also but too often from the deceit- 
 ful and ungenerous conduct of those with 
 whom such people are connected. There are, 
 alas ! but too many cruel and artful wretches
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. Q0 
 
 that avail themselves of the weakness of good- 
 natured people to gain their confidence by 
 canning flattery, and when they have insnared 
 their heart by the semblance of disinterested 
 love and have no further occasion to dissemble, 
 pull off the mask of friendship and appear in 
 their natural diabolical form. It would there- 
 fore be ungenerous to hate and to distress 
 people who by external Causes have been reduced 
 to such a lamentable state of mind; and equity 
 requires we should excuse their weakness and 
 treat them with forbearance and pity. 
 
 If your situation should render it impossible 
 for you to break off all connexion with persons 
 of such an unhappy disposition, prudence 
 requires you should not mind their whims and 
 humour, but treat them with candour and 
 openness on all occasions ; let them see as 
 much as possible the origin, motives, course 
 and object of your actions ; conceal nothing 
 from them that is connected with their interest 
 or passions ; consult them in every thing that 
 concerns them, and act jointly with them in all 
 matters relating to them. Thus you will gain 
 their confidence, or at least gradually remove 
 every suspicion which they entertain against 
 your sincerity. I also would advise you not 
 
 H2
 
 10O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 to let them see that you know them to be of a 
 suspicious temper ; for the suspicious is like a 
 drunken person who will not believe that he is 
 intoxicated, and is offended if you tell him that 
 he has drunk too much. 
 
 Watch all instances in which your suspicious 
 friend is deceived, by his suspicion ; in which 
 he was mistaken in doubting your sincerity or 
 that of others, or injured himself by giving 
 way to groundless suspicion. Avail yourself of 
 the first cool and serene moment in which he is 
 pleased with you to remind him mildly of his 
 error. But be careful not to let a single 
 instance of that kind escape without improving 
 it. -Tell him whenever you have an opportu- 
 nity to convince him that he wronged you (not 
 that he is suspicious, but only) that you are glad 
 that the purity of your heart is cleared from all 
 suspicion. He will deny having suspected you. 
 Do not contradict him, but be satisfied to tell 
 him that you rejoice at his being convinced of 
 your innocence. If you repeat this frequently 
 you will at last succeed in making him sensible 
 of his weakness and ashamed of his improper 
 and unjust conduct. In endeavouring to ob- 
 viate the effects of suspicion and to correct it, 
 you must prevent all occasions on which it is
 
 OP SOCIAL LIPB. 101 
 
 most commonly excited ; for no person of a 
 suspicious temper gives way to his weakness on 
 all occasions, but every one that is subject to 
 it abandons himself to it only on particular 
 opportunities. If for instance your friend be 
 near you must never interfere in his money 
 concerns though he should desire it; if he be 
 mysterious and reserved you must never consent 
 to be intrusted with his secrets ; if he be 
 jealous you must avoid all opportunities to be 
 in private with the object of his jealousy, 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 On observing these rules of prudence you 
 will be convinced that in most instances it is 
 our fault if we cannot live happy among men. 
 A person who unites prudence of conduct with 
 a benevolent heart, and studies men, knows 
 their weaknesses and avoids provoking their 
 faults, will be able to live happy even with the 
 most ill-tempered people. And believe me 
 such a wise and benevolent conduct will in a 
 short time grow easy and natural to you, though 
 it should be attended in the beginning with a 
 great deal of trouble and self-denial : for you 
 need but to converse thus for some time with a 
 suspicious person and you will cure him entirely, 
 or at least cause his weakness to break out less
 
 103 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 frequently and obviate many disagreeable and 
 vexatious quarrels. 
 
 XIII. ONE should think that envy and 
 jealousy could be the inheritance only of mali- 
 cious and low-minded people ; and yet we find 
 but too often an allay of these bad qualities in 
 the hearts of several persons who, in other re- 
 spects, possess many good dispositions. But, 
 alas ! how frail is human nature ! ambition and 
 vanity caq easily tempt us to envy others a 
 happiness which is the exclusive object of our 
 wishes, and as soon as this sensation has pro- 
 duced in our heart a kind of aversion from the 
 person who remains in the possession of that 
 envied good, in spite of our envy and jealousy, 
 we cannot avoid to rejoice secretly if he have to 
 struggle with some misfortunes ; and Providence 
 appears to us to justify by these calamities our 
 inimical sentiments, particularly if we have been 
 weak enough to betray them to others. I shall 
 speak more at large in some other place of the 
 conduct which we must adopt, if we be con- 
 nected with people of a jealous disposition, and 
 here give only some general rules, the observa- 
 tion of which may prevent us in many instances 
 from provoking envy to direct its poisonous 
 shafts at us. If you wish to avoid exciting th?
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 1O3 
 
 envy of others you will do well to enjoy what- 
 ever you possess without ostentation, and to 
 make as little shew of your prosperity, merits 
 and talents as possible. Boast not of your 
 wealth in every company, enjoy the pleasures of 
 life with as much moderation and as little noise 
 as possible ; let your dress rather bespeak taste 
 than a propensity for ostentatious splendour ; 
 and if you be so fortunate as to be intimately 
 connected and to correspond with certain great 
 and wealthy people, avoid to commit the weak- 
 ness of proclaiming it to all the world, or to read 
 with a childish vanity their letters to all your 
 friends. Take notice of the good qualities and 
 merits which you discover in those that envy 
 you. Let them see that you are not blind to 
 their brighter parts ; speak of them, commend 
 them, and thus convince them that they also 
 possess desirable qualities. This will tend to 
 reconcile them, at least in some degree, to your 
 superiority, soothe their vexation and counter-* 
 act their mental disease. 
 
 XIV. ENVY frequently produces the dread- 
 ful vice of calumny^ from the attacks of which 
 even the best and worthiest characters are not 
 secure. The best means which you can apply 
 to guard off its baneful effects is the preserva- 
 tion of your innocence. Do not flatter yourself
 
 104 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 to remain unhurt from its venomous blasts, if 
 your conscience accuse you of secret actions 
 which you would be ashamed to confess to the 
 world, but have committed with so much pru- 
 dence and art as to keep them entirely from the 
 knowledge of your friends and connexions. 
 The consciousness of having acted wrong will 
 deprive you of the courage and firmness which 
 you must have, if you shall be able to defeat the 
 malicious inventions of those who want to ruin 
 your character. But let us even suppose you 
 should be able to meet the calumniator with 
 firmness, notwithstanding the secret accusations 
 of your heart, and to prove his assertions to be 
 nothing else but malicious inventions, will your 
 defence avail you anything if one of those pri- 
 vate actions with which your consience re- 
 proaches you unfortunately should transpire, and 
 render your exculpation suspicious ? And is it 
 in the power of any mortal to direct the course 
 of incidents so as to prevent it taking a turn 
 which would expose him in his natural shape ? 
 If therefore you wish to evade the dire effects 
 of calumny you cannot be too careful to reserve 
 your innocence of heart. But as calumny gene- 
 rally founds her suspicions and aspersions rather 
 on appearances than on facts, you ought at the
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 105 
 
 same time to be extremely cautious not to commit 
 any action that has even the semblance of guilt. 
 In vain will you appeal to the purity of your heart 
 and the innocence of your actions if appear- 
 ances be against you ; for, alas ! the majority 
 are but too prone to be guided in their opinion 
 by the latter, and few only will take the trouble 
 to examine impartially whether they are founded 
 on facts or not. Endeavour therefore, as much 
 as possible, to preserve the purity of your heart, 
 and to avoid all unfavourable appearances if 
 you wish to avert the poisonous shafts which 
 calumny directs at your character. 
 
 To have displayed a warm and active zeal for 
 the welfare of your fellow-creatures will also serve 
 to arm you powerfully against the attacks of 
 malicious calumniators. If you be an useless 
 being and have done little or no good, if you 
 have afforded advice, consolation and assistance 
 to no one, calumny will find it easy to wound 
 your honour ; for you have done no good ac- 
 tions which could speak in your defence, and 
 there is no person who could say anything 
 laudable of you : but if you have been active 
 and indefatigable in doipg as much good as was 
 in your power, those to whom you have been 
 kind will interest themselves for you when you
 
 106 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 are slandered, and strive to rescue your character 
 from the venomous tooth of calumny. 
 
 I must further observe, that if the good ac- 
 tions which you perform be to serve you as a 
 protecting shield against the shafts of calumny, 
 they must flow from a sincere regard for your 
 duty as a member of human society ; for it is 
 not sufficient that we have done much good, if 
 we wish to silence the voice of calumny by our 
 actions ; they must originate from a pure source 
 and be done with a laudable intention. Although 
 you should perform the brightest deeds, yet 
 they will not be sufficient to defend you against 
 slander and defamation, if pride, ambition, self- 
 interest, weakness, or thirst after sensual plea- 
 sure guide your steps : calumny will find it an 
 easy matter in that case to depreciate them, and 
 to deprive you of the applause which you ex- 
 pect to earn. Let therefore all your steps be 
 guided by the voice of your duty ; let the good 
 which you do be graced by modesty and an 
 unassuming conduct, and you will blunt the 
 arrows of calumny, and finally triumph over the 
 malicious aggressors of your honour. 
 
 XV. PEOPLE that, without paying any re- 
 gard to age, sex or merit, consider every person 
 whom they meet as a fit object for displaying
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. It>7 
 
 the powers of their wit, and indiscriminately 
 turn the words, the dress and the actions of the 
 knave as well as of the honest man into ridicule, 
 to excite the merriment of the company in which 
 they are, arc a most intolerable sort of beings, 
 and frequently embitter the hours of Social 
 happiness to feeling minds. If you be con- 
 scious of not possessing a sufficient share of cool- 
 ness and moderation to defeat the purpose of 
 these disturbers of innocent joy, you can do no 
 better than to shun their company as much as 
 possible. Yet as you have it not always ia 
 your power to avoid the company of these 
 peace-disturbing wits entirely, or to break off 
 all the connexion which you already may have 
 formed with people of that class, you will ex T 
 pect me to point out to you such a line of con- 
 duct as may enable you to render their society 
 less distressing to you. 
 
 The principal rule which I would advise you 
 carefully to observe, is. to give no opportunity 
 to scoffers to make you the butt of their ridi- 
 cule ; for they cannot direct the batteries of 
 their wanton wit against you if you do not 
 encourage them either by your discourses or 
 actions to attack you. Take care therefore not 
 to oftcnd them, nor to expose your weak side
 
 108 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 in their presence. As soon as you provoke 
 people of that description, hurt them in the 
 slightest degree, or in any manner give occasion 
 for ridicule by your actions or words, and betray 
 your weakness, they will take it as a signal to 
 discharge the artillery of their false wit against 
 you. You must therefore take a firm resolu- 
 tion to treat them with the greatest precaution, 
 not to render yourself odious to them by a too 
 visible coolness or incivility, by disobliging them 
 or speaking ill of them in their absence, or of- 
 fending their pride, and not to irritate them in 
 those parts where they are apt to take fire. Be 
 also always upon your guard not to speak nor 
 to do anything that could expose you to ridi- 
 cule. Be particularly careful not to distinguish 
 yourself from your cotemporarics by a singular 
 dress or awkward manners ; and accommodate 
 yourself as far as is consistent with propriety, 
 and the regard which you owe to yourself to 
 the innocent customs of your age. Avail your- 
 self of every opportunity to mix with polite 
 society, to shake off that awkward bashfulness 
 and perplexity which but too often overshadows 
 the lustre of the brightest jewel, and frequently 
 excites the laughter of ridicule against those 
 who, by their intrinsic worth, arc intitled to
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 100 
 
 claim the regard and the applause of every man 
 of sense and feeling. 
 
 It is however not sufficient only to avoid an 
 opportunity to the scoffer to ridicule you ; if 
 you be desirous to shield yourself against the 
 wanton sallies of his merciless wit you must 
 also deprive him of all courage to attack you. 
 To effect this, I would advise you to display a 
 certain dignity of conduct on your first meeting 
 with people who are apt to ridicule others ; to 
 shew them by your looks, by the tone of your 
 voice and your whole deportment what they 
 have to expect from you. Let your counte- 
 nance always bespeak your consciousness of in- 
 nate dignity while you are in their society ; re- 
 frain from jesting and being familiar with them, 
 and maintain your seriousness with an unshaken 
 equanimity. Should the scoffer, notwithstand- 
 ing this mode of conduct, which in general 
 intimidates those shallow-brained wits, make an 
 attempt to distress you by his ridicule, you will 
 undoubtedly deprive him of the courage to make 
 a second trial if you tell him plainly, with a 
 certain dignity of mien and accent, that you are 
 determined not to suffer yourself to be abused 
 by him. But as some of my readers may think 
 it rather difficult to regulate their conduct at
 
 110 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 all times according to these rules, and to apply 
 them properly, I shall add one more which 
 every intelligent being is capable of observing, 
 and which is by far more important and decisive 
 than those which I hsve pointed out already. 
 
 Live as an honest mail and a useful member 
 of human society ; be a tender father to your 
 children, v an affectionate husband, a loyal sub- 
 ject of your King, diligent and careful in the 
 performance of the duties of your calling, just 
 to every one, benevolent and charitable, modest, 
 obliging, peaceable, polite and liberal in Social 
 Life, and no scoffer will dare to attack ybti : 
 and if, nevertheless, he should make an attempt 
 to direct the shafts of his wit at you he will 
 never be capable of wounding your honour, nor 
 of hurting you materially ; but his ridicuje will 
 excite the indignation of all those that know 
 jt and respect your virtue. 
 
 XVI. AVARICE is one of the meanest and 
 most disgraceful passions. No meanness can 
 be imagined which a miser is not capable of 
 committing if his thirst for riches be excited ; 
 and all nobler sensations, friendship, pity and 
 benevolence are shut out of his heart if they 
 be not productive of gain : nay, he denies him- 
 self even the most innocent pleasures if he can- 
 1
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. Ill 
 
 not have them for nothing. He considers every 
 stranger as a thief, and himself as a parasite who 
 lives at the cxpence of his better self, of his 
 Mammon. However in our times, when luxury 
 is carried to a higher degree every day, when the 
 wants of even the most sober man, who must 
 live in the world and maintain a family, are so 
 great ; when the price of provisions rises day 
 after day, and so much depends upon the influ- 
 ence of money, and the rich has a decided 
 superiority over the poor ; and finally, when im- 
 position and falsehood on one side, and mistrust 
 and want of fellow-feeling on the other encrease 
 visibly in all ranks, and therefore reliance upon 
 the assistance of our fellow-citizens becomes an 
 unsafe capital ; in these times it would be wrong 
 in us to call every saving and prudent man a 
 miser, without having inquired first into his 
 situation, and the motives which excited his 
 actions. 
 
 Amongst the real misers there are also some 
 who, besides the thirst after money, are ruled 
 by another co-prevailing passion. These people 
 accumulate, save, cheat others, and deny them- 
 selves every thing that does not tend to satisfy 
 that passion, whether it be lust, gluttony, am- 
 bition, curiosity, gambling, or any other object.
 
 112 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 I have known people who would have betrayed 
 for the sake of a guinea a friend, and even a 
 brother or a sister, and exposed themselves to 
 public infamy ; whereas they thought their mo- 
 ney well applied in purchasing a single moment 
 of sensual gratification at the pace of a hundred 
 and more guineas. 
 
 There are others who so ill calculate as to 
 save pence and to throw away guineas. They 
 love money, but do not know how to husband 
 it. In order to recover the sums of which they 
 have been cheated by rogues, swindlers^ ad- 
 venturers and flatterers they stint their servants, 
 buy the worst sort of provisions if they can save 
 something by it, haggle with the industrious 
 tradesman and shopkeeper about a few pence in 
 a most degrading manner, and inquire eagerly 
 after those places where the articles which they 
 want can be had at the cheapest rate, though 
 perhaps not always of the best quality. 
 
 Finally, there are others who are liberal on 
 every occasion and in general are not afraid to 
 spend money ; but in one single point, on which 
 they put a peculiar value, ridiculously stingy. 
 My friends have frequently censured me for 
 being over-parsimonious with regard to writing 
 materials, and I cannot deny being subject to
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 113 
 
 that weakness. Although I am not rich yet I 
 part less reluctantly with a shilling than with a 
 sheet of the best writing paper. 
 
 If you wish to preserve the favour of avaricious 
 people you will do well never to ask any thing 
 of them ; yet as this cannot always be avoided, 
 prudence requires you should learn to which of 
 the above described classes of avaricious people 
 the man belongs with whom you have to deal, 
 that you may be able to regulate your conduct 
 accordingly. 
 
 With regard to the conversation with spend- 
 thrifts I have only to observe, that a rational 
 man ought not to suffer himself to be misled by 
 their example to incur foolish expenses, and 
 that it is beneath the dignity of an honest 
 man to take advantage of their thoughtless 
 liberality either for his own benefit or that of 
 his friends. 
 
 XVII. WE must not expect that even our 
 noblest and wisest actions will always be attended 
 with gratitude and success. Thisprinciple I think 
 we ought to have always before our eyes if we 
 wish not to grow averse from serving others, 
 or become inimical to our fellow-creatures and 
 dissatisfied with GOD and our fate. We should 
 however be destitute of every human feeling if 
 
 VOL. i. I
 
 114 PBACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 it did not vex us to see ourselves slighted by peo- 
 ple whom we have served faithfully, sincerely 
 and without self-interest to whom we have de- 
 voted ourselves entirely and perhaps even sacri- 
 ficed our own advantage, as soon as they have 
 no further occasion for our assistance; or 
 betrayed, abused and persecuted when they can 
 obtain by their ingratitude temporal advantages, 
 or gain the favour of our powerful enemies. 
 This will however not deter a man who knows 
 the human heart and is a warm friend of virtue 
 from being generous. As I shall have an oppor- 
 tunity of recurring again to this subject in two 
 succeeding chapters, I shall only observe at pre- 
 sent, that every good action rewards itself; yea, 
 that a man of a humane and liberal disposition, 
 if he know beforehand that he must not look for 
 gratitude amongst men derives a new source of 
 internal satisfaction from that very ingratitude, 
 namely, the pleasureof being conscious of having 
 done good merely from a love of his duty. He 
 laments the corruption of those that are capable 
 of forgetting theirbenefactor, andcontinues to be 
 ready and studious to serve those that are so 
 much the more in want of his assistance, the 
 weaker they are and the less internal happiness 
 they have in their heart. Do not therefore com-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 115 
 
 plain of the ingratitude which you experience, 
 nor reproach the ungrateful for it, but continue 
 to be generous to him! Receive him again 
 when he returns to you, he may grow sensible 
 at last of the excellency and noblenesss of your 
 conduct, and repair the injury of which he is 
 guilty if not, I advise you to reflect that every 
 vice punishes itself, and that the heart of the 
 ungrateful wretch, and the unavoidable conse- 
 quences of his meanness, will avenge you upon 
 him Alas ! what a long chapter on the ingrati- 
 tude of men could I write ! How many instan- 
 ces of it have I experienced on the thorny path 
 of the mazy labyrinths of life ! But I will be 
 silent and strive to forget the degeneracy of my 
 brethren. 
 
 $ XVIII. MANY people find it absolutely 
 impossible to pursue any object of their wishes 
 on a strait path ; artifice, cunning and mfidious- 
 ness guide them in all their undertakings, al- 
 though their heart be not entirely bad. A cer- 
 tain unfortunate disposition of mind, timidity 
 and the influence of the occurrences of life, are 
 frequently the principal causes which produce 
 that character. A suspicious man for instance 
 is but too apt to veil even the most innocent 
 transactions in mysteriousness, to disguise him- 
 
 i 2
 
 116 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 self and to conceal the real object of his pur- 
 suits. A man of an ill-regulated activity and 
 of too firy a temper, an artful enterprizing 
 genius, who is in a situation in which he meets 
 with too much uniformity and sameness, and 
 finds no opportunity to unfold and display his 
 talents, will attempt numerous crooked ways to 
 extend his compass of activity, or to render the 
 scene of action more interesting ; and in that 
 case he will not be over-conscientious in the 
 choice of the means which he applies to accom- 
 plish his purpose. A very vain man will pro- 
 ceed with a great deal of mysteriousness to con- 
 ceal his weakness. A courtier who is used to 
 see nothing but deceit, intrigues, cabals and 
 plots, and is not accustomed to go the strait 
 way, will think a life that flows along without 
 intricacies very uniform and tedious, veil his 
 most unimportant steps in impenetrable myste- 
 riousness, and give to his most innocent transac- 
 tions an enigmatical appearance. The lawyer 
 who is constantly occupied with the sophistries 
 of chicane, is very fond of dealing in puns and 
 quibbles on every occasion. People that have 
 overstrained their imagination by reading novels 
 and other fantastical books, or lost their sense 
 for simplicity, artless nature and truth through
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 117 
 
 a profligate and idle life or bad company, cannot 
 exist without intriguing ; and there are also a 
 great number of people who do not wish half as 
 ardently for an object which they can obtain in 
 a regular manner as for what they expect to 
 procure clandestinely and surreptitiously. Even 
 the most generous and open man, particularly if 
 he be young, may be tempted to have recourse 
 to crooked means if we constantly treat him 
 with mistrust, or with so much severity as to 
 render him incapable to place any confidence 
 in us. 
 
 But whatever may have contributed to accus- 
 tom a person to employ artifice and intrigues, 
 the following mode of conduct is the best which 
 you can adopt in your dealings with characters 
 of that description. Treat them always with 
 openness and candour, and show yourself by 
 words and deeds a decided enemy to every thing 
 that can be called artifice, intrigue and deceit ; 
 and as a warm admirer of every honest man, to 
 make them sensible how much they would lose 
 in your eyes if ever you should surprise them on 
 crooked paths. 
 
 Display an unlimited confidence in their ho- 
 nesty while they have not deceived you, and 
 lead them to think that you arc incaj>able of
 
 118 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 believing they should ever be able to attempt 
 imposing upon you. If they set any value on your 
 regard they then will carefully avoid displeasing 
 you. 
 
 Be as tolerant to their weaknesses and as 
 ready to pardon and to excuse their failings 
 (provided they hate meditated no malicious 
 trick) as will be sufficient to convince them, that 
 they have no reason to fear and deceive you 
 as vigorous censors. 
 
 Do not watch their conduct as a spy nor at- 
 tempt to sift them in a circuitous manner, but 
 question them frankly and directly in a firm 
 tone and with penetrating looks, if you want to 
 obtain some elucidation which you have a right 
 to demand. Should they stammer and attempt 
 to elude your question, I would advise you either 
 to drop the subject of your inquiries entirely, 
 letting them see you wish to spare them the 
 shame of imposing upon you, and to treat them 
 afterwards with more coldness than usual, or to 
 caution them in an amicable but serious manner 
 not to disgrace themselves. 
 
 Should they however deceive you notwith- 
 standing your endeavours to prevent it, pru- 
 dence bids you not to treat their insincerity 
 slightly ! Display the greatest indignation at the
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 11Q 
 
 first false step, and do not forgive it immediately. 
 But if all this should not becapable of correcting 
 them, should they continue to impose upon you 
 you can take no better measure than punishing 
 them by contempt, and letting them see you 
 shall suspect all their professions and actions 
 until they be entirely corrected. I must how- 
 ever observe, that a person who is once accus- 
 tomed to artifice and crooked dealings very 
 seldom returns to the path of truth and can- 
 dour. 
 
 The above rules are also applicable in the 
 treatment of liars. 
 
 XIX. THOSE that commonly are called 
 boasters, braggers and puffers are of a different 
 species. They have no intention to deceive 
 actually, but invent stories or exaggerate real 
 facts for no other purpose than to show them- 
 selves more to advantage and attract the notice 
 of others; to induce others to form a high opi- 
 nion of their talents and merits ; to excite asto- 
 nishment by the relation of wonderful incidents, 
 or to be regarded as agreeable and chearful com- 
 panions; and if once they have acquired a habit 
 of adorning and exaggerating an incident, a 
 simile or a sentence at the expence of truth, they 
 iometimes believe their own bragging and
 
 12O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 puffing and view all objects through a micro- 
 scope. 
 
 The relations and descriptions of such puffing 
 boasters are sometimes entertaining enough ; 
 and if we be once acquainted with their emble- 
 matical language we know how much we have 
 to believe. 
 
 Yet if they should carry their exaggerations 
 too far, I would advise you either to entangle 
 them in their own net by a number of questions 
 about the minutest circumstances, so as to ren- 
 der them unable to advance or to retreat and 
 thus put them to the blush, or to return them 
 for every gasconade another still more comical 
 and exaggerated, and thus convince them 
 that you are not so silly as to believe them; or 
 to furl the sails of conversation suddenly as soon 
 as they begin to puff, which if repeated fre- 
 quently generally will make them more cau- 
 tious. 
 
 XX. IMPUDENT, idle and intriguing people, 
 farasites and flatterers ought to be kept at a 
 proper distance. You will do well not to be 
 too familiar with them, and to let them know 
 by a civil but cool and serious treatment that 
 their society and familiarity is not agreeable to 
 you. Parasites who seek our company or> ac-
 
 OF SOCIAL LIPB. 
 
 count of our table, will not trouble us for any 
 length of time with their intrusion if we never ask 
 them to eat or to drink with us; but against 
 flatterers particularly those of a finer class, we 
 ought to be more on our guard for the sake of 
 our own moral character. They spoil our heart 
 entirely if we accustom our ear to listen to their 
 poisonous discourses: we then want constantly 
 to be tickled, are disgusted with the voice of 
 truth, and neglect and slight our most faithful 
 and best friends, who are desirous to make us 
 sensible of our defects and errors. If you wish 
 not to fall thus deeply, arm yourself with indif- 
 ference againt the baneful allurements of flat- 
 tery. Shun the flatterer as you would flee from 
 a venomous serpent. This is however not so 
 easy to be done as you perhaps may think. 
 Some people have a manner of saying flatteries 
 which appear to be just their reverse. The art- 
 ful flatterer that has explored your blind side 
 will not applaud always, if he know that you 
 have too much sense not to see the danger 
 that lurks beneath the coarser snares of flat- 
 tery, but will sometimes rather censure you. He 
 will for instance, tell you " that he cannot com- 
 prehend how a noble-minded and wise man like 
 you, could forget himself so much for a mo-
 
 122 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ment ; he had thought that this could happen 
 only to ordinary people like himself." If you 
 be an authour he will censure defects in your 
 writings, which at first sight must appear trifling 
 to you, and only serve him to applaud those 
 passages of which he knows you to be proud 
 with so much the more impudence. He will 
 discover weaknesses, and censure you with a 
 pretended zeal for defects that flatter your 
 vanity. He will for instance call you a misan- 
 thrope if you wish to be famous for your solitary 
 manner of life, and charge you with being in- 
 triguing if you be desirous to appear as a 
 consummate courtier. In this manner he will 
 lead you imperceptibly to think that he is an 
 impartial lover of truth; you will greedily 
 swallow his sweet poison, and in your infatua- 
 tion open your heart and purse to the artful de- 
 ceiver. 
 
 XXI. I SHALL now speak of the conduct 
 which we ought to observe with regard to Vil- 
 lains: that is, people whose heart has been de- 
 praved so much by a neglected education, bad 
 company or other causes, as to exhibit no ves- 
 tige of its former good disposition. 
 
 It is obvious that we must avoid if possible all 
 connexions with people of this description, if we 
 1
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 123 
 
 really are anxious to preserve our peace of mind 
 and have our moral improvement at heart. Al- 
 though a man of firm principles will not easily 
 be spoiled in their company, yet he may accus- 
 tom himself gradually to the sight of villanies, 
 and thus lose that aversion from every thing 
 that is mean, which frequently is alone sufficient 
 to preserve us from falling in moments of temp- 
 tation. We are however but too often necessi- 
 tated by our situation in life to live in the midst 
 of villains, and to transact business jointly with 
 them, and in that case it will be necessary not 
 to lose sight of certain rules of prudence. 
 
 If you distinguish yourself by superiour ta- 
 lents and a conspicuous excellence of heart, you 
 have just reason to apprehend that people of bad 
 principles and morals will attempt to disturb 
 your peace of mind and to vex you. There ex- 
 ists an eternal league between villains and block- 
 heads against all good and sensible people, such 
 an intimate connexion as enables them to know 
 each other among the rest of mankind, a kind 
 of fraternity which renders them willing to go 
 hand-in-hand, although they should be ever so 
 much separated by other circumstances, as soon 
 as an opportunity offers to persecute and to 
 trample upon real merit. No kind of precau-
 
 124 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 tion and reserve can avail anything against 
 that confederation ; you will rely in vain upon 
 your openness and innocence, in vain proceed 
 ^ith moderation and lenity, conceal your me- 
 rits and attempt to screen yourself by the ap- 
 pearance of mediocrity, if you really be at 
 man of sense and a votary of virtue. No one 
 discovers the excellencies which you possess 
 easier than those that are totally destitute of 
 these good qualities ; no one does secretly 
 more justice to merit than a villain ; but he 
 trembles at it like satan at the gospel, and leaves 
 no stone unturned to oppose it. That nume- 
 rous confederation of villains and blockheads will 
 teaze you incessantly, attack your honour, now 
 speak ambiguously of you, and now with undis- 
 guised malignity, and maliciously misrepresent 
 your most innocent words and actions. 
 
 But be not frightened at it although you 
 should be actually distressed for some time by 
 knaves and villains, yet the probity and the 
 consequences of your actions will finally con- 
 quer, and your enemies be entrapt in their own 
 snares. Besides rogues and villains are unani- 
 mous only while no manly firmness and resolu- 
 tion is required, and while they can fight in the 
 dark, but disperse as soon as they are exposed to
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 125 
 
 the light. Pursue therefore firmly the strait 
 path which your duty points out to you. Never 
 indulge yourself with the application of crooked 
 means, never employ artifice to defeat roguery, 
 never have recourse to intrigues to counteract 
 cabals, and never associate with villains against 
 villains. Act generously ! Ill treatment and 
 suspision if carried too far can make a complete 
 villain of a person who is only half a rogue ; 
 whereas generosity may sometimes correct a 
 hardened knave and render him attentive to 
 the voice of his conscience. You will however 
 do well to make him sensible that your conduct 
 before him is not regulated by fear, but solely 
 by voluntary generosity. Let him feel that 
 when matters are carried too far, and the in- 
 dignation of a resolute and honest man breaks 
 loose, the wise and courageous votary of virtue 
 in the dust is more to be dreaded than a rogue 
 bedecked with purple ; that a noble mind, that 
 virtue, prudence and spirit render a man more 
 powerful than a knave is at the head of an army 
 of vile hirelings. What has a man to fear who 
 has left nothing else at stake than what no mor- 
 tal can wrest from him ? and how little can a 
 cowardly sultan, an unjust despot, who constantly 
 carries an enemy with him in his bosom that 
 3
 
 126 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 goads him incessantly ! how little, I say, can such 
 a contemptible being prevail in the moment of 
 extreme and despairing necessity against the 
 meanest of his subjects, who is supported in the 
 conflict by the firmest allies, an unpolluted 
 heart, a sound understanding, an undaunted 
 spirit and a pair of sinewy arms ? 
 
 It is impossible to render ourselves beloved by 
 some people, and in that case it will be at least 
 some advantage to be dreaded by them. 
 
 There are others that will avail themselves of 
 every opportunity to betray us into a certain con- 
 fidence and familiarity in order to obtain arms 
 against us, with which they threaten to assail us 
 when we refuse to obey their imperious dictates. 
 Prudence requires we should guard against such 
 dangerous persons as much as possible. 
 
 Make presents to the person whom you have 
 reason to suspect of being inclined to rob you, 
 if you think generosity can make any im- 
 pression upon his heart. 
 
 Encourage and honour people that display an 
 active propensity to do good. Do not ruin their 
 credit if you possibly can avoid it. There are 
 people who speak extremely well but are knaves 
 in their actions, highly inconsequent, thought- 
 less and passionate. Do not unmask them if
 
 OP SOCIAL LIPB. 177 
 
 the consequences of their disposition do not 
 render it absolutely necessary. They do at least 
 some good by their discourses, which will remain 
 undone if you render them suspected of dupli- 
 city. They ought to be sent from place to 
 place to promote good purposes, but never to 
 stay long in one place lest they should expose 
 themselves, and by their example destroy the 
 good effects of their doctrines. 
 
 XXII. PEOPLE that are too modest and 
 timid ought to be encouraged and inspired 
 with confidence in themselves. Too much 
 timidity is as unmanly as impudence and arro- 
 gance are despicable. A man of a noble dispo- 
 sition ought to be sensible of his worth, and as 
 just to himself as he is to others. Yet a modest 
 man is offended by too much praise, and too 
 visible marks of distinction : display, therefore, 
 the regard which you have for him less by 
 words than by actions, which are the best proofs 
 of real affection. 
 
 XXIII. IMPRUDENT and talkative people 
 ought, naturally, not to be trusted with secret?. 
 It would indeed be much better if there ex- 
 isted no secrets at all, if we could always act 
 openly and frankly, and let ever)- one see the 
 most secret thoughts of our heart ; it would be
 
 128 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 much better if men thought and uttered no- 
 thing but what every one might know : yet as 
 this is not always possible, particularly with 
 people who arc in public offices and entrusted 
 with the secrets of others, we must therefore be 
 cautious to whom we communicate our secrets. 
 
 There are people who are utterly incapable 
 of keeping a secret. Their running anxiously 
 from place to place, like a hen that is going to 
 lay an egg, is a certain indication that they 
 have some secret to disclose, and suffer much 
 uneasiness till they have communicated it to 
 another gossip. Others are indeed not disin- 
 clined to keep the secrets which have been en- 
 trusted to them, but wanting prudence betray 
 them involuntarily by their looks, hints and 
 signs ; or from want of firmness are incapable 
 to resist importunate inquirers, or to have too 
 good an opinion of the discretion and probity 
 of others, which frequently makes them commit 
 a breach of secresy. To people of this class 
 you cannot be too reserved. 
 
 Curious people, who make it their business to 
 explore the private concerns of others may be 
 treated in a different manner, as circumstances 
 require. If you wish to check their prying 
 curiosity at once, and to deter them from making
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 any further attempts to meddle with your 
 private concerns, to act the part of eaves- 
 droppers, to watch your steps and to pry into 
 your plans and transactions, you can take no 
 surer step than to declare to them with energy 
 and spirit, that you are determined to resist 
 their impertinent intrusion, and to resent the 
 least attempt of theirs to meddle with your af- 
 fairs. Should you, however, wish to divert 
 yourself at the expence of their prying dispo- 
 sition, you may amuse their curiosity by direct- 
 ing it to such a number of trifles as will keep 
 them constantly employed, and leave them no 
 time to trouble themselves about matters which 
 you are desirous of concealing from them. 
 
 Heedless and forgetful people are unfit for any 
 business that requires punctuality. Young per- 
 sons may sometimes be weaned from this defect, 
 and trained to keep their thoughts together. 
 Many that are forgetful and heedless from a 
 lively temper, will shake off that weakness when 
 they grow older and more sedate. Others af- 
 fect to be thoughtless, because they imagine 
 that it gives them an appearance of learning. 
 Fools of that sort deserve to be pitied ; and I 
 would advise you to take no notice of their 
 studied distraction. They ought to be treated 
 
 VOL. i. K
 
 ISO PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 like those that pretend being nervous or sickly 
 to create interest. But if you be connected 
 with people who really have a short memory, you 
 will do well to advise them to write down what- 
 ever they wish to retain, and to peruse these 
 memorandums frequently ; for nothing is more 
 disagreeable than to be connected with people 
 who promise to execute business of importance 
 for us, to rely upon their word, and to find after- 
 wards that they do not recollect a syllable of it. 
 
 I must observe on this occasion, that it is 
 wrong to be provoked or vexed if people who 
 are naturally inclined to be heedless and dis- 
 tracted, sometimes neglect to shew us the civi- 
 lity and attention which we have a right to ex- 
 pect, as this is done unintentionally, and with- 
 out any view to offend us. 
 
 XXIV. THERE is a description of people who 
 are commonly called whimsical, (difficult). They 
 are not always of a vicious temper, nor at all times 
 morose and quarrelsome, yet generally hard to 
 be pleased. They have accustomed themselves, 
 for instance, to a pedantic regularity, the rules 
 of which are not so familiar to their friends and 
 connexions as to themselves ; we may therefore 
 easily happen to offend them, by putting, for 
 example;, a chair in their apartments in a wrong
 
 OP SOCIAL tlEfi. 131 
 
 place j or they are addicted to certain oddities, 
 and for instance, dress, speak, or write in a pe- 
 culiar manner singularities to which we must 
 accommodate ourselves if we wish to preserve 
 their good opinion. One would think that 
 people of sense ought to be above such trifles ; 
 yet we frequently meet with men who in other 
 respects betray no small degree of sound judg- 
 ment and equity, but in these or similar points 
 are uncommonly difficult. If the good opinion 
 of people of that description be of any conse- 
 quence to you, I advise you to accommodate 
 yourself to their singularities as far as is con- 
 sistent with honour and probity, and to please 
 them in matters of such a trifling nature. But 
 even if you should not be connected with them, 
 nor care for their favour, you ought nevertheless 
 not to ridicule nor distress them on account 
 of their peculiarities, if they be respectable cha- 
 racters; for every one of us has his failings, 
 which we must tolerate reciprocally with fra- 
 ternal indulgence. 
 
 People who think it an honour to distinguish 
 themselves -from others by the peculiarity of 
 their conduct in unimportant matters, not be- 
 cause they are convinced of acting with more 
 propriety than the rest, but chiefly because they 
 K 2
 
 132 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 are determined to differ from their cotempo- 
 raries in their behaviour, are called singular. 
 They are pleased to see that their singularity is 
 taken notice of; and a sensible man that is con- 
 nected with such people ought carefully to 
 examine whether their singularities are of an 
 innocent nature, and whether they deserve to 
 be spared for other considerations, that he may 
 be able to regulate his conduct towards them 
 according to reason and the precepts of toler- 
 ance. 
 
 As for people who are ruled by humours, and 
 to-day will receive you with the greatest kind- 
 ness and good nature, and to-morrow perhaps 
 treat you with a chilling coldness, I advise you 
 to take no notice of the continual ebb and tide 
 of their fancies, but always treat them in the 
 same cautious manner; should however their 
 humorous conduct proceed from secret suffer- 
 ings they are in titled to your compassion. 
 
 XXV. STUPID people who are sensible of 
 their weakness, suffer themselves to be guided 
 by men of sense and judgment, and by a natu- 
 rally good, benevolent and gentle disposition are 
 easily prompted to do good ; but when with dif- 
 ficulty persuaded to turn bad, ought not to be 
 despised. All men cannot possess an elevated 
 1
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 133 
 
 mind, and the world would be badly off if all were 
 alike. There must be a greater number of subal- 
 tern geniuses than of high-spirited people in this 
 world, unless all are to live in a continual warfare. 
 It cannot indeed be denied that a certain superior 
 degree of virtue which requires mental strength, 
 energy, firmness and a clear judgment, isincon- 
 sistentwith weakness of understanding; but this 
 is not absolutely necessary. If the happiness of 
 mankind be but promoted, and the weaker class 
 suffer themselves to be made instrumental to it, 
 then are they more useful members of society 
 than all eccentric geniuses with their indefati- 
 gable and wild activity. 
 
 It is however extremely disagreeable and in- 
 supportable to be connected with a blockhead 
 that imagines himself a demi-god, with a vain, 
 obstinate and suspicious fool, a spoiled and 
 proud dunce that thinks himself capable to rule 
 countries and nations when he cannot govern 
 himself. As I shall havefrequent opportunities in 
 the course of this work to point out the parti- 
 cular rules which we must observe should we be 
 connected with such conceited fools, I shall refrain 
 mentioning them here to avoid useless repetition. 
 
 I must observe on this occasion, that we fre- 
 quently commit the greatest injustice by be-
 
 134 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 stowing the epithets of weak, stupid, insensible 
 and ignorant, upon people who in fact arc quite 
 the reverse. Every one posseses not the gift of 
 displaying his ideas and sentiments to advantage. 
 We ought therefore to judge of people chiefly 
 by their actions ; but in doing this we must 
 never omit to reflect upon their situation, and 
 the opportunities which they had or had not to 
 distinguish themselves. We very seldom con- 
 sider that a man has already great merit if he 
 do no wrong, and that the sum of negative 
 good frequently contributes more to general 
 happiness than the long life of an active man, 
 whose violent passions are continually at war 
 with his great and noble views. Learning, 
 mental accomplishments and plain sense are 
 besides very different things. People of a cer- 
 tain education and politure are generally guided 
 by a certain tone that prevails in the society 
 which they frequent, and we are but too apt to 
 confound principles which rest upon that tone 
 with the invariable dictates of pure wisdom. 
 We are used to shape our ideas after that arbi- 
 trary standard, or rather to repeat words whose 
 ambiguous sense we scarcely should be capable 
 of explaining to a raw child of nature, and thus 
 are led to mistake for a blockhead every one
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 133 
 
 that is not initiated into the nonsensical myste- 
 ries of our circle, and bluntly speaks as he 
 thinks. A man may possess a large share of 
 plain sense and a high degree of erudition, and 
 yet act a very sorry part in one of our elegant 
 and fashionable circles, because he is unac- 
 quainted with the subjects that are the common 
 topicks of conversation in these assemblies, which 
 are but too often beneath the notice of a man who 
 is sensible of his intrinsic dignity, and ashamed 
 to speak nonsense ; or he has too much con- 
 scientiousness and veneration for candour, truth 
 and virtue to be capable of uttering unmeaning 
 flatteries in order to display his wit- at the ex- 
 pence of decency. You would therefore wrong 
 him very much were you to set him down for a 
 stupid blockhead on account of his silence, or 
 the timidity and awkwardness which he displays 
 when he cannot avoid joining in a conversation 
 for which he has no relish. Do not therefore 
 despise people of this cast, nor distress them by 
 ridicule ; for they are deserving of your regard ; 
 consider that you would be as awkwardly situ- 
 ated in a circle of people of their manner of 
 thinking as they are in your company, and 
 appear equally stupid and ignorant to them as 
 they appear to you !
 
 13(5 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 If we be connected with good-natured but 
 weak people, it will be prudent in us to endea- 
 vour to collect a circle of virtuous friends 
 around them, who will not abuse their weakness 
 and prompt them to deeds which are unworthy 
 a benevolent heart. 
 
 There are people who can refuse nothing, 
 at least not orally ; and thence it happens 
 they promise more than they can perform, give 
 more, and take more trouble upon themselves 
 for others than in justice they ought to do, 
 merely because they 'are afraid to give pain to 
 any one, or to appear disinclined to serve 
 others. Others are so credulous as to trust 
 every one, sacrifice themselves for every one, 
 and mistake every person for a sincere friend 
 that has the appearance of an honest and a 
 benevolent man. Others are not capable of 
 asking anything for themselves, although they 
 should thus be debarred from the attainment of 
 advantages to which they have the justest claims. 
 It would be needless to exhibit how much all 
 these weak peopleareabused, how much the good 
 nature and obliging disposition of the former is 
 intruded upon, and how often impudence wrests 
 every advantage from the latter, because they 
 have not courage to defend the justness of
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 137 
 
 their claims. Do not abuse the weakness of 
 any person, nor attempt to obtain surreptitiously 
 advantages, presents or assistance which you 
 cannot demand from people of the above class 
 with the strictest justice and without distressing 
 them. Endeavour also to prevent others from 
 abusing them in a similar manner. Encourage 
 the timid ; interfere in his behalf; speak for 
 him when his weakness prevents him speaking 
 for himself, and assist him whenever he wants 
 your assistance. 
 
 Some people are so weak as to abandon 
 themselves entirely to a certain favourite pro- 
 pensity. People of this class speak of nothing 
 with so much pleasure as of their favourite ob- 
 ject ; all their ideas revolve constantly round 
 that point, and they miss no opportunity to 
 introduce it on every occasion; their hobby- 
 horse may be a noble passion or not, may con- 
 sist in a predilection for hunting, horses and 
 hounds, or for dancingand music, pain ting, prints 
 or any other particular. They forget in that 
 case that the person to whom they are speaking 
 perhaps knows nothing at all of their favourite 
 object, nor do they wish he should have much 
 knowledge of it, if he but patiently listen to 
 them, or admire their darling and seem to
 
 138 PRACTICAL, PHILOSOPHY 
 
 be delighted with it. Who could be so cruel as 
 not to indulge an honest and sensible man in so 
 trifling a pleasure ? I advise you particularly 
 to notice tire innocent hobby-horses of the 
 Great with whom you wish to ingratiate your- 
 self; for a lash given to this favourite f is more 
 painfully felt,' as Tristram Shandy observes, 
 ' than a blow which the rider receives.' 
 
 XXVI. IT is easy and pleasant to converse 
 \vith cheerful and lively people who are animated 
 \vith real good humour ; I say they must be 
 animated with real good humour ; their cheer- 
 fulness must flow from the heart, must not 
 consist in idle jesting, nor in hunting after 
 witticisms. A man who can laugh from the 
 bottom of his heart and abandon himself to the 
 ebullitions of jocundity, cannot be thoroughly 
 bad. Malice and cunning render us serious, 
 pensive and close ; but a man who can laugh 
 heartily is not dangerous. From this however 
 we must not infer that every person who is not 
 of a cheerful temper is bent on mischief. 
 
 The disposition of our mind depends upon 
 our temper as well as on our health, and on 
 internal and external relations. Genuine cheer- 
 fulness usually is catching, and this epidemy of 
 hilarity as I may call it is so highly beneficent,
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 13Q 
 
 we feel so unspeakably happy in laughing away 
 all the troubles of this world, that I cannot 
 exhort you too pressingly to cheer up your 
 mind, and to devote at least a few hours every 
 week to innocent hilarity. 
 
 It is however difficult not to fall into a satiri- 
 cal tone when we are in a jovial disposition and 
 give the reins to our wit. What can afford us 
 more matter for laughing than the numerous 
 follies of men ? And when we laugh at these 
 follies it is almost unavoidable not to laugh at 
 the fools who commit them, in which case our 
 merriment may produce very disagreeable and 
 dangerous consequences. 
 
 When our ridiculing jokes meet with ap- 
 plause we are commonlv tempted to give qur 
 wit a keener edge ; while others perhaps deprived 
 of such opportunity would be in want of 
 matter for a lively conversation, are misled by 
 our example to explore with additional assiduity 
 the defects of their neighbours, the consequences 
 of which are partly known but too well, and 
 partly have been touched upon in the preceding 
 chapter. I would therefore advise you to be 
 upon your guard in conversing with satirical 
 people. I do not however mean to infer that 
 you ought to be afraid of their cutting tongue,
 
 I4O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 for this would afford them just ground for 
 suspecting you to be pusillanimous in the 
 highest degree ; but wish only to exhort you 
 not to suffer yourself to be seduced to join in 
 their satirical abuse, thereby to hurt yourself and 
 others and to depart from the spirit of toleration. 
 Do not therefore applaud too much satirical 
 people, nor encourage their propensity to dis- 
 play their wit at the expence of others, and do 
 not laugh when they lampoon and ridicule their 
 neighbours ! 
 
 $ XXVII. DRUNKARDS, Voluptuaries and all 
 votaries of vice in general you ought to shun, 
 and if possible to avoid their Society ; yet if you 
 should not always be able to do it, you cannot be 
 too careful to watch over your innocence lest 
 it should be infected by their example. This 
 however is not sufficient ; it is also your duty not 
 to indulge them in their excesses, how pleasing 
 soever the shape may be in which they appear, 
 but to shew as far as prudence permits that you 
 have an unconquerable aversion against them, 
 and to be particularly careful never to join in 
 smutty discourses. 
 
 We see frequently that elegant rakes are 
 uncommonly well received in the fashionable 
 circles as they are called ; and but too often
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. ^ 141 
 
 experience in many societies, particularly in such 
 as consist entirely of males, that the conversa- 
 tion turns upon obscene ambiguities, which 
 inflame the imagination of young people and 
 spread farther the corruption of morals. An 
 honest man ought not to contribute the least 
 thing in the world to this general corruption of 
 morals ; he rather is bound to display his aver- 
 sion from it in the strongest manner, without 
 shewing any respect of persons ; and if he can- 
 not correct people who walk on the path of 
 vice by amicable admonitions, and by directing 
 their activity to nobler objects, at least to 
 convince them that he values decency and vir- 
 tue, and that innocence must be respected in 
 his presence. 
 
 ^ XXVII 1. ENTHUSIASTICAL, romantic and 
 eccentrical people live and move in a world of 
 fancies, and are sworn enemies to cool reflection. 
 Fashionable readings, novels, plays, secret 
 societies, want of real and scientific knowledge 
 and idleness infect a great number of our 
 modern youth with this disease ; we however 
 also frequently meet with hoary enthusiasts. 
 They are constantly bent upon the unnatural 
 and supernatural ; despise the good that is 
 within their reach to pursue distant phantasms ;
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 neglect what is useful and necessary to form 
 plans for the attainment of what is not needful ; 
 abandon themselves to idleness when it is their 
 duty to exert themselves, in order to interfere in 
 matters that do not concern them ; want to 
 reform the world and neglect their own domestic 
 affairs; deem important subjects trifling and 
 are enraptured with absurdities ; do not com- 
 prehend what is plain and preach up incompre- 
 hensible doctrines. You will in vain attempt 
 to convert them by arguments of sound reason ; 
 for they will despise you as one of the common 
 herd, tax you with want of feeling and indif- 
 ference to great and noble objects, pity you for 
 your wisdom, and rather connect themselves 
 with fools of their own way of thinking than 
 associate with you. If therefore you are really 
 desirous to convince such an enthusiast of some 
 truth or to gain credit with him, your discourses 
 must be warm and animated, and you must 
 speak in behalf of sound reason with as much 
 fervour as he displays in defending his follies. 
 
 It is however very difficult to reform such 
 people, and it will frequently be best to leave it 
 to time to cure them of their folly. Yet enthu- 
 siasm is frequently catching. If therefore you 
 have a lively imagination, and are not quite
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE, 143 
 
 certain of being able to keep it under the con- 
 troul of your understanding, I advise you to 
 be upon your guard in conversing with enthu- 
 siasts of any kind. In our century, in which 
 the rage for secret associations has acquired an 
 almost general ascendancy over mankind, means 
 have even been found to bring all sorts of re- 
 ligious, theosophic, chemical and political en- 
 thusiasm into regular systems. I forbear to 
 decide which of these sorts of enthusiasm is 
 the most pernicious ; yet I think that which 
 presumes to reform the world is pregnant with 
 inconceivable mischief; I have so much the 
 more reason to believe it firmly, as this sort of 
 systematic enthusiasm can produce the greatest 
 confusion in the State, and generally has the most 
 imposing appearance ; whereas the rest soon be- 
 come tiresome and are capable of charming only 
 perverted and inferior geniusses for a length of 
 time. I would therefore advise you to regard 
 in your conversation with the apostles of such 
 systems, the words happiness of the world 
 liberty equality rights of men euk'tvatien 
 general mental illumination reform spirit of 
 cosmopolitism and the like, merely as allure- 
 ments, or at most as well-meant empty words 
 with which these peoples amuse themselves like
 
 144 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 school-boys with the oratorical figures and 
 tropes which they must apply in their meagre 
 exercises. 
 
 I advise you in general to let eccentrical 
 people pursue their course at pleasure, while 
 they are not yet perfectly qualified for the mad- 
 house; for the world is large enough to contain 
 a great number of fools. 
 
 $ XXIX. I now beg leave to say a few words 
 concerning devotees, pwitam and hypocrites. 
 
 People whose sentiments correspond with 
 their external zeal for religion, whose warmth 
 for piety and divine worship, and whose attach- 
 ment to the rites of that church whose tenets 
 they profess, flow from the heart, have the 
 strongest claim to our regard. Although their 
 conduct should be guided rather by pious sen- 
 timents than by the light of reason ; although 
 their religious feelings should proceed from a 
 heated imagination, and their attachment to 
 certain ceremonies, rites and systems be car- 
 ried to a higher pitch than is consistent with 
 sound reason, yet they deserve toleration, 
 forbearance and fraternal love, provided they 
 be honest men and practical Christians. But 
 an hypocritical villain that wears the mask of 
 sanctity, meekness and religion, and is a volup-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 145 
 
 tuouS seducer of innocence, a malicious calum- 
 niator, or a fanatical persecutor, deserves to be 
 branded with ignominy. It is however not diffi- 
 cult to distinguish these two sorts of people. 
 A man who is really pious is open, candid, 
 peaceable and cheerful, not ov$r civil nor too 
 humble, but benevolent, simple and easy in 
 conversation ; he is indulgent, gentle, meek 
 and just to every one ; talks not much of 
 religious subjects, except in the circle of his 
 intimate friends ; the hypocrite, on the con- 
 trary, is accustomed to wheedle, to sneak and 
 to flatter, is always upon his guard, a slave of 
 the great and wealthy, an adherer of the 
 prevailing party, a friend of the happy, but 
 never a disinterested defender of the deserted. 
 He talks constantly of honesty and religion, 
 gives generally large alms, and performs the 
 duties of Christian charity in an ostentatious 
 manner ; excuses the faults of others in such a 
 manner as makes them appear to be ten times 
 more glaring than they really are. Be careful 
 to form no connexion whatever with people of 
 this description ! Shun them as much as possi- 
 ble ! Do not offend nor hurt them if your 
 peace and happiness be dear to you ! 
 
 People who believe without any sufficient 
 VOL. i. l>
 
 146 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ground in certain doctrines and obligations, or in 
 supernatural causes, agencies and apparitions, 
 who for instance believe that GOD is an irascible 
 and revengeful Being, that those who are here- 
 tics in their opinion ought to be deprived of all 
 civil privileges, that the sign of the cross has a 
 peculiar and supernatural effect, that ghosts and 
 superiour beings can appear to men, &c. &c. &c. 
 and who regard these objects of their faith as 
 highly sacred and inviolable are called sztpersfi- 
 tious. It is a certain criterion of superstition to 
 believe too much, i. e. more than sound reason 
 warrants. People who are given to superstition 
 do not therefore listen to the voice of reason, but 
 are deaf to sober arguments and believe the most 
 contradictory tenets. They never give up an 
 opinion which they have once adopted, how ab- 
 surd and incomprehensible soever it may be, 
 and the firmness of their faith is founded merely 
 on habit. They have heard for instance a cer- 
 tain tenet asserted in their ;ytouth, it was recom- 
 mended to them as a religious truth, and they 
 have believed in it for many years; or something 
 was inculcated into their mind as an invariable 
 duty and obligation ; or they were taught to be- 
 lieve that certain invisible powers produce cer- 
 tain effects: and now they continue to adhere
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 147 
 
 to that opinion, because they have accustomed 
 themselves so much to believe it that the con- 
 trary of it appears to them a daring violation of 
 truth, which they are bound to abhor or to hate : 
 and as reason opposes to their belief incontro- 
 vertible doubts, their commodiousness leads 
 them to think that the voice of reason ought 
 not to be listened to in matters of faith. 
 
 Superstition undoubtedly is a source of nume- 
 rous evils and productive of great misery; and 
 it is extremely painful and distressing for every 
 individual to be connected with its votaries: for 
 the superstitious abhors every one that is of a 
 different opinion. He applies to those that dif- 
 fer from him in their belief certain names which 
 encrease this aversion, because he connects with 
 them the idea of people that are hateful to the 
 Godhead. He therefore reposes no confidence 
 in them, and cannot persuade himself to love 
 them. He thinks it frequently a sin to have any 
 connexion with them, and if he had it in his 
 power he is also but too often inclined to per- 
 secute them. He is averse from every thing 
 tending to disturb his faith. He regards every 
 person who opposes his notions by arguments of 
 sound reason as his enemy. He is therefore an 
 enemy to all mental illumination though he 
 
 L2
 
 148 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 deny to hate it ; and opposes all persons and 
 means that promote it. He is for this reason 
 very seldom a firm friend, a good citizen and 
 subject. We must at least constantly appre- 
 hend that he will spare neither his sovereign nor 
 his father, nor his fellow-citizen, if any of' his 
 tenets should excite him to persecute a person 
 who differs from him in faith. 
 
 My readers will easily comprehend that it is 
 difficult to converse with such people, and still 
 more difficult to preserve our peace and happi- 
 ness in their society, without violating the love 
 which we owe to all men, how corrupt and 
 erring soever they be. If you wish to be capa- 
 ble of exercising the duties of this general love 
 to the superstitious, you need but to comprehend 
 that his errors deserve rather to awaken your 
 pity than sensations of hatred and aversion, on 
 account of their origin : For if you carefully 
 inquire how they crept into his soul, you will 
 find that generally it is no fault of his to be in- 
 fected with them. Infantine and juvenile in- 
 struction, the example of parents, the zeal of 
 teachers and governors, habit, want of a suf- 
 ficient knowledge of the means of mental illu- 
 mination, &c. &c. &c. are frequently the sole 
 and inevitable causes of superstition. Reflect
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 1 !() 
 
 only upon your own experience and you will 
 be sensible of the truth of this assertion. Do 
 you not find that children are very willing to 
 believe whatever their parents or instructors tell 
 them of subjects of which they can have no sen- 
 sible perception ? If they for instance tell them 
 from their infantine years, that all the objects 
 which they see as well as themselves were crea- 
 ted by a good GOD ; that he is omnipresent, 
 preserves, blesses and loves all animated beings, 
 though he cannot be seen, &c. &c. &c. ; if all 
 those that are about them say and believe the 
 same and repeat it frequently with serious looks, 
 and if they at the same time tell them with 
 marks of horror, that there are people who do 
 not believe in a Supreme Being; do you think 
 that it will be possible these children should not 
 
 4t * 
 
 believe firmly in the existence of GOD ? andabhor 
 all those as wicked people or fools who are of a 
 contrary opinion ? If errors be inculcated into 
 their ductile mind in the same manner they will 
 impress themselves as deeply upon their soul as 
 truth, and gradually become the most invincible 
 prejudice. What merit is it therefore in an 
 adult person to have a firm conviction of truth ? 
 and how can it be imputed to another as a fault, 
 with the least colour of justice, if he be preju-
 
 150 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 diced for errors which have been instilled into 
 his mind in his youth by those that had the di- 
 rection of his education? You will perhaps object 
 that such a person ought to examine his erro- 
 neous notions when he has attained to years of 
 discretion. But how can a person do. this 
 without being actuated by some motive or 
 other? And what motive can a person have to 
 suspect the truth of a doctrine of which he is as 
 firmly convinced as he is of the reality of his ex- 
 istence ? Is it not natural that a person who is to 
 examine a doctrine which he believes, should first 
 think it possible that it may be erroneous ? But 
 if he think it impossible he cannot be reason- 
 ably expected to examine it. From this it ap- 
 pears that the superstition of many people is 
 very excusable, and that those who are infected 
 with it have a just claim to our forbearance. 
 It would therefore be as unjust and inhumane to 
 hate a man for his superstition as it would be to 
 hate an other because he is infected with some 
 constitutional disease. The superstitious is 
 therefore justly intitled to compassion, and we 
 ought to tolerate him with fraternal love. 
 
 It is your duty to spare his weak side, and to 
 avoid as much as possible introducing discourses 
 which may give him pain. If you be desirous
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 151 
 
 to correct the errors of one of your superstitious 
 brethren you ought to do it with modesty. If 
 you wish to succeed you must not declare di- 
 rectly his opinion to be erroneous. The surest 
 way of convincing him will be to start amicable 
 objections to his ideas, and to lead him to think 
 that you wish to be better informed by him. 
 Request him to refute your doubts, and he will 
 afford you a natural opportunity to point out the 
 weakness of his arguments; but should he ne- 
 vertheless remain stubborn and perhaps grow in- 
 solent, your own sense of equity will tell you 
 that it is not becoming a wise man to abuse a 
 person, because he is incapable to comprehend 
 truth. Endeavour to gain his confidence by 
 doing justice to the zeal with which he defends 
 his opinion, and by convincing him that you do 
 ifot differ from him with regard to the essential 
 points of religion, and that those tenets in which 
 you do not agree with him are not materially 
 connected v/ith virtue and piety. When you 
 have gained his confidence you must not attack* 
 his superstition directly but indirectly; for if you \ 
 tell him plainly that the tenets for which he eri- 
 tertains the highest regard be false, he will be 
 terrified and abhor you as a dangerous man. All 
 religious superstition is founded in part on tho
 
 152 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 idea, that the tenets which its vgtaries have 
 adopted are indispensably necessary for obtaining 
 the favour of the Supreme Being and eternal 
 happiness, and partly on contempt of reason. 
 Endeavour therefore to convince the supersti- 
 tious that Reason is the principal gift of GOD, 
 and that we must account to the Supreme Being 
 for our neglecting the use of it; that without 
 the assistance of its light we should be incapa- 
 ble of understanding even revelation, and that 
 mankind owes to its heavenlyinfluence the great- 
 est blessings. You then may proceed farther, 
 and prove to him that his tenets are not indis^ 
 pensably necessary for obtaining the favour of 
 GOD and eternal happiness; that GOD will nei- 
 ther reward nor punish men for their faith, but 
 only for their works, &c. &c. &c. This will 
 mitigate the anxious obstinacy with which he 
 defends his superstitious opinions; and when he 
 begins to comprehend that people who differ 
 from him in faith may also be good men, and 
 to value reason properly, you may safely 
 venture to communicate your arguments mo- 
 destly to him. But I must caution you to do 
 it always when he is cool and when you are 
 without witnesses, and you will certainly be 
 capable of removing Jiis errors, or at least render 
 3
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 153 
 
 -them less burdensome and distressing to your- 
 self. 
 
 XXXI. DEISTS, Freethinkers and Sctjfen 
 of religion of the common class are generally 
 not more tolerant than their antipodes, the de- 
 votees. A man who is so unfortunate as not to 
 be capable of convincing himself of the truth, 
 the sanctity and necessity of the Christian Reli- 
 gion deserves ^>//x, because he is destitute of a 
 very essential happiness, and of a powerful com- 
 fort in life and death. He deserves more than 
 pity; he has a just claim to our regard and love 
 if he perform as well as he can his duties as a 
 man and a citizen, and disturb no one in his 
 belief; but if a person be a scoffer of religion 
 rather from depravity of heart than from per- 
 verseness of understanding, or only pretends to 
 hold religion in contempt, hunts after proselytes, 
 and attacks publicly with hacknied witticisms 
 that doctrine upon which millions found their 
 only hope, their temporal and eternal happiness; 
 if he persecute, despise, censure and brand with 
 the name of a hypocrite every one that differs 
 from him in opinion, such a depraved fool de- 
 serves to be treated with contempt. 
 
 XXXII. OF the manner in which melan- 
 choly people, lunatics and madmen should be
 
 154 PKACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 treated I can say but very little, as I do not 
 possess sufficient medical knowledge to be able 
 to point out the best method. This subject 
 properly belongs to the department of the philo- 
 sophical physician, and besides would take up 
 too much room in this little work. I shall 
 therefore give only a few hints concerning this 
 point. 
 
 It appears to me to be a matter of the last 
 importance with regard to people that are afflic- 
 ted with mental distempers, to find out the pri- 
 mary source of their disease, and to ascertain 
 whether it has been occasioned by a disorder in 
 particular organs of the body, or by a peculiar 
 disposition of the mind, violent passions or mis- 
 fortunes. For that purpose you must observe 
 what objects particularly occupy their imagina- 
 tion while they are raving or disordered, as well 
 as after the paroxysm has subsided ; and likewise 
 on what their fancy chiefly broods: it then will 
 appear that it frequently is possible to cure these 
 unfortunate people gradually, if their mind can 
 but be recalled from a single fixed idea, or if this 
 can only be modified properly. It is further 
 highly important to observe what particular 
 change of weather, of the seasons and of the 
 moon has the greatest influence upon their dis-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 155 
 
 order, which will enable you to avail yourself of 
 those moments which are most favourable for 
 attempting a cure. I have also observed that 
 confinement and every sort of harsh treatment 
 generally serves only to make the evil worse. 
 On this occasion I cannot help expressing my 
 admiration of the madhouse at Frankfort on 
 the Mein, which I have had many opportunities 
 of observing. The disordered persons who are 
 received in that institution, arc suffered to walk 
 about in the house and the garden whenever it 
 can be done with safety, at least in those seasons 
 in which their disease is less violent. 
 
 Their keepers treat them with so much mild- 
 ness that many of them after a few years quit 
 the house again entirely cured, and a greater 
 number remain at most only melancholy, so as to 
 be capable of performing manual work; whereas 
 these people in many other hospitals, perhaps 
 would have been rendered mad in the highest 
 degree by close confinement and hard treatment. 
 
 People of weak understandings may also be 
 disordered in their intellects, if a violent passion 
 by which they are ruled, be nourished, excited 
 and irritated. I remember to have seen two 
 such miserable beings : one of them possessed 
 in his youth an excellent understanding, great
 
 156 PRACTICAL 'PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ability and wit, traces of which were still visible 
 when he enjoyed calmer moments. He was to 
 have studied the law but had learnt nothing, and 
 abandoned himself to a profligate life. On re- 
 turning to his native town he was treated as 
 an ignorant idler, and was conscious of his de- 
 serving it. Yet he possessed an uncommon 
 pride and was not quite poor. Forsaken by his 
 family and shunned by his equals, he began to 
 form connexions with the court officers of the 
 Prince of ***. His jocose sallies at length in- 
 troduced him to the noticeof thePrince himself. 
 He soon became very familiar with the latter, 
 and the whole court flattered his vanity. This 
 familiarity terminated however in his being 
 abused and treated as a privileged merry-maker. 
 Yet this was still a sort of existence which pleased 
 him, While he was not abused too much and at 
 liberty to converse familiarly with people of 
 rank, and to tell them sometimes severe truths. 
 But as the latter were not inclined to condescend 
 too much to him for nothing, and likewise not 
 always disposed to listen patiently to his witti- 
 cisms, which frequently were rather coarse, he 
 experienced sometimes very humiliating treat^ 
 ment and even corporeal chastisement, yet could 
 not relinquish his disgraceful career, because his
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 15/ 
 
 relations and acquaintances held him in extreme 
 contempt, and his little fortune was totally 
 spent. Thus he sunk deeper and deeper every 
 day, and at last grew entirely dependent on the 
 court. The Prince caused a parti-coloured 
 jacket to be made for him, and there was not 
 even a scullion in the palace that did not think 
 himself in titled to pass a joke upon him, or to 
 pull him by the nose for a pint of wine. Despair 
 now urged him to get drunk every day, and if ever 
 he happened to be sober, the idea of his dreadful 
 situation, the consciousness of the mean partwhich 
 he acted, the aversion from inventing new jokes 
 to preserve his place, and his awakening pride 
 tormented his mind, while he ruined his con- 
 stitution by excesses. His intellects became 
 actually disordered, and at one time he was 
 so mad as to render it necessary to chain him. 
 At the time I saw him he was an old man, re- 
 duced to a most lamentable situation. He was 
 treated as a frantic person, and regarded rather 
 as an object of aversion than of pity. He en- 
 joyed however, at times, some lucid intervals, in 
 which he betrayed an uncommon degree of 
 penetration, wit and genius ; and when he 
 wanted to obtain a charitable gift he could 
 Hatter in the most artful and insinuating man
 
 153 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ner, and displayed so much dexterity in taking 
 advantage of the weakness of others, so much 
 practical knowledge of the human heart, that I 
 knew not whether I ought to sigh more at 
 those that had reduced him to this terrible state 
 or at his own deviations. 
 
 The other person of whom I am about to 
 speak was once steward in a nobleman's family, 
 but on my first seeing him he lived upon a pen- 
 sion. As he was of no further use to his mas- 
 ter, he as well as his family and domestics 
 amused themselves with his pride and amorous 
 disposition. They called him Your Highness, 
 gave him an order, forged letters of Princes and 
 Kings, in which he was informed that he was 
 of an illustrious family, and had been kidnapped 
 in his infancy ; that the Turkish Emperor who 
 had usurped his dominions, wanted to have him 
 assassinated, and that a Grecian Princess was in 
 love with him. Some friends of the family dis- 
 guised themselves as Ambassadors, and pre- 
 tended to have been sent to enter into nego- 
 ciations with him. In short, after a few years 
 the intellects of the poor fellow were entirely 
 disordered, and he believed all this nonsense 
 seriously. 
 
 I forbear to make any comments on these 
 1
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 15Q 
 
 two lamentable facts, as the reader will easily 
 be able to judge in what light they ought to be 
 viewed. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 On the Conversation with People of a different 
 Age. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 A HE conversation with people who are of the 
 same age with us seems indeed to have many 
 advantages and charms. A congenial manner 
 of thinking, and a reciprocal exchange of 
 such ideas as interest the attention of both 
 parties in an equal degree, unite men more 
 strongly to each other : certain inclinations and 
 desires are peculiar to every different age ; the 
 disposition changes in the course of time ; we 
 do riot keep pace with the change of taste and 
 fashion ; the heart grows colder and takes less 
 interest in new objects ; our imagination and 
 vivacity cools ; many happy delusions have dis- 
 appeared ; numberless objects that were dear to 
 us have passed away and are no more ; the
 
 l6O FKA^TICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 partners in our juvenile pleasures are gone to 
 their eternal home, and the youth around us 
 attend only out of civility to our accounts of the 
 pleasures of our happier days. Congenial expe- 
 rience affords more matter for conversation than 
 events which are entirely foreign to those with 
 whom we converse. All this cannot be dis- 
 puted; yet disparity of temper, of education, 
 fate and occupation frequently expand or con- 
 tract these boundaries. Many people remain 
 in some degree for ever children, while others 
 grow old men before their time. The rake 
 who has ruined his body and soul and satiated 
 himself by all sorts of sensual gratification, 
 naturally finds very little pleasure in the society 
 of young and innocent country people, who 
 have not yet lost their sense for artless joys ; 
 and an old country gentleman who has never 
 travelled farther from his home than thirty or 
 forty miles, is as little comfortable and happy 
 in a circle of experienced and polished in habi- 
 tants of the capital as an aged Capuchin would 
 be in a society of hoary literati. On the other 
 hand it cannot be denied that many fashionable 
 passions, as for instance, those for hunting, 
 gambling, drinking and backbiting frequently 
 unite old men and youths, aged women and
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. l6l 
 
 young girls in the most cordial manner. This 
 exception from the above observation, that the 
 conversation between people who are of the 
 same age has many advantages and charms, can- 
 not depreciate the value of the rules which we 
 are about to give with regard to the conversation 
 between people of a different age ; we only 
 beg leave to make one remark more : An over- 
 scrupulous separation of people of different 
 years, which is established in most great families 
 of this country, where young people are rarely 
 admitted to companies which are composed of 
 persons of a maturer age before they have com- 
 pleted a certain number of years, is extremely 
 hurtful. The tone which young people adopt 
 if constantly left to themselves, is generally not 
 the best ; their manners are not improved, and 
 a certain awkward timidity and bashfulness takes 
 possession of their mind, which frequently 
 renders them extremely ridiculous when they 
 are first introduced into mixed societies; besides, 
 old people are confirmed in their egotisms, 
 grow intolerant and morose to their children, if 
 they constantly be in company only with such 
 persons as make a common cause with them, as 
 soon as they begin to extol former times at the 
 VOL. i. M
 
 102 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 expence of the present age, the tone of which 
 they do not know. 
 
 $ II. OLD people very rarely are just enough 
 to put themselves in the place of younger per- 
 sons, but leave them undisturbed in the enjoy- 
 ment of their innocent sports, without a wish 
 to promote them by joining in these youthful 
 pleasures. They reflect not on their own 
 juvenile years, and thus it happens that old 
 people generally desire young men should be 
 as sedate, sober and reflecting as themselves, 
 and shew the same coolness, moderation and 
 prudence which experience and the change 
 which nature has produced in their temper, 
 teaches them to display. Juvenile sports appear 
 unimportant to them, and the gambols of youth 
 are considered by them as thoughtless wanton- 
 ness. It is however extremely difficult for old 
 people to recal to their recollection the situation 
 and state of mind in which they were twenty 
 or thirty years before, and this causes them to be 
 often highly unjust in their judgment, and to 
 commit many errors in the education of their 
 children. Oh ! let us remain young as long as 
 possible, and when the winter of life bleaches 
 our hair, when the blood creeps slower through 
 our veins and our heart grows cooler, look down
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. l63 
 
 with sympathetic pleasure upon our younger 
 brethren who are gathering vernal roses, while 
 we are seated by the paternal fire-side, to rest 
 from the toils of life and to warm our chilling 
 blood ! Let us not preach down by severe and 
 frigid reasoning the sweet pleasures of youthful 
 fancy ! When we look back upon those happy 
 days in which a single smile from the enchant- 
 ing virgin who now is a withering matron enrap- 
 tured us with heavenly bliss ; in which music 
 and dancing thrilled every nerve of our frame 
 with pleasure ; in which merriment and the 
 sallies of wit dispelled every gloomy thought, 
 and sweet dreams of future felicity, pleasing 
 bodings and rosy hopes cheered our existence. 
 Oh ! then let us prolong that happy period to 
 our children, and participate as much as possible 
 in their juvenile raptures. Infants and children, 
 youths and blooming virgins will then croud 
 around the cheerful old man who encourages 
 their innocent mirth. When a young man I 
 was connected with such amiable old ladies, 
 whose society, had it been in my option, I 
 would have preferred on the journey through 
 life to that of many a handsome and blooming 
 girl ; and when I chanced to be seated at a 
 convivial feast by the side of a dull beauty, I 
 
 M2
 
 164 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 I frequently envied the man who was placed 
 near a cheerful old woman. 
 
 III, Bv recommending such a good-natured 
 condescension to the disposition of youth, I 
 however do not mean to infer, that an old man 
 can be excused if he forget his dignity so far 
 as to act the contemptible part of a gay fop or a 
 professed merrymaker; or that it is becoming a 
 woman who has nearly compleated half a cen- 
 tury to dress like a young girl, to practise the 
 despicable arts of coquetry, or to rival the 
 younger part of her sex in their amorous con- 
 quests. Such a breach of decorum produces 
 contempt, and justly deserves it. People of a 
 certain age ought never to give an opportunity 
 to youth of ridiculing them, or to neglect paying 
 them that regard to which they are intitled by 
 their riper years. 
 
 IV. IT is however not sufficient that the 
 society of old people be not burdensome and 
 offensive to youth ; it ought also to be useful 
 to them. A greater share of experience obliges 
 the former to instruct and to guide the latter, 
 and to lead them in the path of virtue and hap- 
 piness by their advice and example. This how- 
 tiver must be done without pedantry, pride 
 and presumption ; without a ridiculous predi-
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. l65 
 
 lection for every thing that is old ; without 
 demanding a sacrifice of all juvenile pleasures ; 
 without intrusion or creating tediousness. I 
 rather would advise old people to let their 
 society be courted, which undoubtedly will be 
 the case ; because well-disposed youths are wont 
 to think it an honour to be permitted to converse 
 with cheerful and sensible old men, and the 
 society of such as shew that they have seen and 
 experienced a great deal has always sufficient 
 charms. 
 
 $ V. THUS much on the conduct of, old 
 people towards the young. I now shall add a 
 few words on the conversation of youth with 
 men and old people. 
 
 Many sensations which nature has impressed 
 on the soul are reasoned away in our enlight- 
 ened age, which is so carefully cleared of all the 
 rubbish of antiquated prejudices. One of these 
 prejudices is the sense of regard for hoary age. 
 Our youth ripen sooner, grow sooner wise and 
 learned than those of former times did. They 
 repair by diligent reading, particularly of maga*- 
 zincs, pamphlets and novels their want of ex- 
 perience and study. This renders them so 
 intelligent as to be able to decide upon subjects 
 which our forefathers thought could only be
 
 1(56 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 clearly comprehended after a close and studious 
 application of many years. Thence arises that 
 noble self-sufficiency and confidence which 
 inferior geniuses mistake for impudence and 
 arrogance, that consciousness of internal worth 
 with which the beardless boys of our age look 
 down upon old men, and decry every thing 
 that happens to come in their way. The ut- 
 most that a man of riper years may expect now- 
 a-days from his children and grand children is, 
 kind indulgence, chastising censure, being 
 tutored by them and pitied, because he is so 
 unfortunate as not to have been born in our 
 happy age, in which wisdom rains from Heaven, 
 unsown and uncultivated, like the manna in 
 the desert. 
 
 VI. THERE are many things in this world 
 which can be learnt only by experience ; there 
 are sciences which absolutely require close and 
 long study, reiterated reflection and meditation, 
 coolness of temper and mature judgment ; and 
 therefore I think the most brilliant and 
 acute genius in most cases ought to pay some 
 attention and deference to an old man, whose 
 inferiority of faculties is compensated by age 
 and experience. It must be acknowledged in 
 general, that the store of experience which a
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. . 
 
 UU.IM1 JAJJT> J .iT 
 
 man gathers in a long course of years enables 
 him to fix. his ideas, to awaken from ideal 
 dreams, to avoid being led astray by a lively 
 imagination, the warmth of blood and the 
 irritability of nerves, and to behold the objects 
 with which he is surrounded in their proper 
 point of view. It is besides so noble and 
 amiable to render the latter days of the pilgri- 
 mage of life, in which cares and sorrows gene- 
 .rally encrease and enjoyment takes its flight, as 
 easy as possible to those that soon are to bid an 
 eternal farewel to the treasures and gratifications 
 of this world, that I feel myself impelled to 
 exclaim with additional energy to youth of 
 every description- " Rise up before the hoary 
 head, and honour the face of the old. Court 
 the society of old and experienced people ! Do 
 not despise the counsel of cool reason, nor the 
 advice of experience. Treat the hoary as you 
 wish to be treated when your hair shall be 
 bleached by old age. Respect them and do 
 not desert them, when wild and thoughdess 
 youths shun their company." 
 
 As for the rest, it cannot be denied that there 
 are many old fools, as there are also wise young 
 men who have earned already when others 
 scarcely have begun to sow.
 
 168 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 $ VII. THE conversation with children is 
 highly interesting to a sensible man. He be- 
 holds in them the book of nature in an uncor- 
 rupted edition. Children appear as they really 
 are, and as they are not misled by systems, 
 passions or learning, judge of many things 
 better than grown persons ; they receive many 
 impressions much sooner, and are not guided by 
 so many prejudices as the latter. In short, if 
 you wish to study men you must not neglect to 
 mix with the society of children. However, 
 the conversation with them requires considera- 
 tions which are not necessary in the society of 
 people of maturer years. 
 
 It is -a sacred duty to give them no offence 
 whatever, to abstain in their company from all 
 wanton discourses and actions, and to display 
 in their presence benevolence, faith, sincerity, 
 decency and every other virtue ; in short, to 
 contribute as much as possible to their improve- 
 ment ; for their ductile and uncorrupted mind 
 is as ready to receive good impressions as it is 
 open to the seeds of vice, and I may safely 
 maintain that the degeneracy of mankind is 
 greatly owing to the imprudence and inconside- 
 ration with which people of a maturer age 
 deport themselves in the presence of children.
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. l6() 
 
 Let therefore all your discourses and actions 
 be graced with truth when you are in their so- 
 ciety. Condescend in a becoming manner to 
 that tone which is intelligible to them, carefully 
 avoid tcazing and vexing them, as is the custom 
 of many people ; for this has the most lament- 
 able effect upon their character. 
 
 Good-natured children are attracted by a se- 
 cret and peculiar sense to benevolent and ami- 
 able people, though they should not take much 
 notice of them ; whereas they shun others that 
 are of a less commendable disposition, notwith- 
 standing their endeavours to ingratiate them- 
 selves with them. Purity and innocence of 
 heart is the talisman by which they are charmed. 
 
 It is very natural that parents should be fond 
 of their children, it is therefore prudent to pay 
 some attention to the latter if we wish to gain 
 the favour of the former. By this however I do 
 not mean to infer that it is right to flatter the 
 spoiled children of the Great, thus to nourish 
 the vanity, pride, and peevishness of these 
 generally already but too corrupted beings, to 
 contribute to their moral degeneracy and to 
 transgress the principal law of nature, which or- 
 dains that the child shall pay homage to the man 
 of maturer years.
 
 170 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 Above all things I would advise you not to 
 interfere if parents in your preseece reprimand 
 their children, by taking the part of the latter, 
 for this will make them believe that their parents 
 are in the wrong, diminish their filial love, con- 
 firm them in their disobedience, and intrude 
 upon the plan of education laid down by the 
 former. 
 
 tut is & 
 
 l - : - v - : ' ;!: .-y.-.: 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 - . . i )i : i ". ! _ .1 J V >' 
 
 On the Conversation between Parents, Children 
 .: TV-V! and Relations. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 1 HE first and most natural bond that unites 
 men with men, after the connexion subsisting 
 between husband and wife, is the tie which 
 connects parents to their children. Although 
 propagating thespeices be not intended to serve 
 for the benefit of the future generation, yet 
 there are but very few that are not perfectly 
 pleased with the reality of their existence ; 
 and notwithstanding parents who live in chris- 
 
 1
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 tian states do not educate, nourish and bring up 
 their children merely from a voluntary choice, 
 yet it would be highly absurd to deny that the 
 numerous troubles and cares which this pro- 
 duces impose the most sacred obligations upon 
 the latter ; or to maintain that no impulse of 
 benevolence, sympathy and affection attaches 
 those to us whose flesh and blood we arc, who 
 have nursed and cherished us, cared for us and 
 shared all their comforts with us. 
 
 Immediately after the union between parents 
 and children, follows the connexion subsisting 
 between the different branches of one family. 
 The members of the same family being united 
 and rendered harmonious by a similarity of or- 
 ganisation, and education, as well as by a com- 
 mon interest, feel for each other what they do 
 not for strangers ; and they estrange themselves 
 from the rest of human society in the same pro- 
 portion in which the circle of their family 
 encreases. 
 
 Patriotism is a more compound sensation, but 
 still more cordial and warm than cosmopolitism 
 in a man who has been early ejected from 
 civil society, and wandering as an adventurer 
 from country to country, has no property and 
 no relish of social duties. A person who does
 
 172 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 not love the mother from whose breast he has 
 drawn nourishment, whose heart is not wanned 
 at the sight of the place in which he has chear- 
 fully spent the innocent and happy days of his 
 youth, cannot possibly take a lively interest in 
 the welfare of the whole, because property, mo- 
 rality, and every thing that can be dear to man 
 in this world rests, in fact, upon the preservation 
 of the bonds that unite us to our country and 
 family. 
 
 These bonds growing looser every day, 
 prove that we decline more and more from the 
 excellent order of nature and its laws ; and if 
 a turbulent genius whom his country expels, 
 because he refuses to submit to its laws, in his 
 indignation at the restraint which morality and 
 the police impose upon him, maintain that it js 
 becoming a philosopher to dissolve all close r 
 connexions, and to acknowledge no other bonds 
 than those of general philanthropy, this proves 
 only that in our times even the most singular 
 and extravagant principle must serve as a main 
 pillar of some philosophical system. Happy 
 eighteenth century, in which such great dis- 
 coveries are made, as for instance : that we may 
 learn to read without being acquainted with 
 letters and syllables, and that we may love the
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 173 
 
 whole human race without loving individuals ! 
 Century of universal medicines, of philalethes, 
 philanthropists and cosmopolites, whither wilt 
 thou lead us at last ? General illumination will 
 spread over all ranks ; the husbandman will let 
 his plough stand idle, and read to Princes 
 lectures on liberty and equality, and on their 
 obligation to share the drudgeries of life with 
 him t every one will attempt to reason down all 
 prejudices that stand in his way ; laws and civil 
 regulations will be superseded by license ; the 
 powerful and the better-instructed will reclaim 
 his right of superiority, and follow his impulse 
 to care for the best of the whole world at the 
 expence of his weaker brethren ; property, con- 
 stitutions and political restrictions will cease to 
 be respected, every one will be his own ruler, 
 and invent a system of his own to gratify his 
 desires. Oh ! happy, golden age ! We then 
 shall be but one family, shall press the noble and 
 amiable cannibal to our heart, and, if that ge- 
 neral benevolence should spread farther, walk 
 through life hand in hand with the witty and 
 sensible'Ourang-Outang. Then all fetters will 
 be broken and all prejudices dispelled. We 
 then shall not be bound to pay the debts of our 
 fathers, nor to be satisfied with one wife, and
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 the lock of our neighbour's strong box will 
 prevent us no longer from making good our 
 innate right to the gold which all-bountiful na- 
 ture produces for general use. 
 
 We happily are not yet arrived thus far ; and 
 as there still exists a great number who as well 
 as myself love their relations, have a relish for 
 domestic happiness, and cherish family-bonds, 
 it will not be superfluous to subjoin a few re- 
 marks on the conversation with near relations. 
 There are parents who, living in a continual 
 round of amusements, scarcely see their children 
 once in a day, gratify their propensity for plea- 
 sure while hirelings are intrusted with the edu- 
 cation of their sons and daughters, and when 
 they are grown up, live with them on such a 
 cool and civil footing as though they were not 
 at all connected with them. It is unnecessary 
 to prove that this conduct is highly unnatural 
 and unwarrantable. There are also other parents 
 who demand of their children such a slavish 
 submission and so many considerations and sa- 
 crifices, that the restraint and shyness which 
 their tyranny-creates destroy all confidence and 
 tender intercourse in such a degree, as to render 
 the hours which children must spend in the 
 company of their parents*; extremely heavy and
 
 OP SOCIAL LIPR. 175 
 
 dreadful to them. Others likewise intirely for- 
 get that boys attain the age of manhood, and 
 treat their adult sons and daughters as if they 
 still were babes, not indulging them with even the 
 least liberty of choice, and will leave nothing at 
 all to their own judgment. This is extremely 
 wrong and imprudent. Respect does not con- 
 sist in rigorous awe, but can exist extremely 
 well with a confidential and familiar intercourse. 
 We do not love a person to whom we scarce- 
 ly dare to look up, nor do we communicate 
 ourselves to those that always are preaching up 
 severe laws, because restraint and coercion de- 
 stroy all open and voluntary communication. 
 What can be more charming than to behold a 
 tender father in the circle of his adult children, 
 who pant after his wise and chearful conversation, 
 conceal none of their inmost wishes from him, 
 who is their counsellor, their most indulgent 
 friend and shares in their innocent juvenile 
 sports ; or at least does not interrupt them, and 
 lives with them as his best and natural friends ! 
 An* union for which all the feelings that can 
 be dear to man incessantly plead, -namely, the 
 voice of nature, of sympathy, and of gratitude ; 
 similarity of taste and of interest, and the habU 
 of mutual intercourse* This familiarity is,
 
 PflACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 however, often carried too far. I know parents 
 who render themselves despicable by participa- 
 ting in the excess of their children, or by neg- 
 lecting to Conceal their own vices, and thereby 
 provoke the ridicule and contempt of those to 
 whom they ought to set a good example. 
 
 $ III* It is not uncommon in our days to see 
 children neglect their parents or even treat 
 them ill. The principal ties of human society 
 grow laxer every day ; young men think that 
 their fathers are not wise, entertaining and en- 
 lightened enough, and girls yawn in the com- 
 pany of their hoary mother, not reflecting how 
 many tedious hours their parent spent at their 
 cradle in attending and nursing them when 
 they were stretched on the sick-bed, or in per- 
 forming the most disagreeable and offensive 
 labours, to render them comfortable and to ease 
 their pains, and that she denied herself many 
 pleasures to take care of the little helpless, unclean 
 being, who without her tender attendance per- 
 haps would have perished. Children forget but 
 too often how many chearful hours they have 
 iinbittered to their parents by their stunning 
 clamour, how many sleepless nights they have 
 caused to their careful father who exerted him- 
 self to the utmost of his abilities to provide for 
 3
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 177 
 
 his family, and was obliged to deny himself 
 many comforts for their benefit. Well-disposed 
 minds however will never be so totally devoid of 
 all sense of gratitude as to be in want of my 
 advice, and for mean and unfeeling souls I do 
 not write. It is only necessary to observe, that 
 if children really fhould have reason to be 
 ashamed of the weakness or the vices of their 
 parents, they will do much better to conceal 
 their defects as much as possible than to neg- 
 lect paying them that external regard which 
 they owe them in many respects. The blessings 
 of Heaven and the approbation of all good men 
 are the certain rewards of the attention which 
 sons and daughters pay to the comfort and hap- 
 piness of their parents. It is a great misfortune 
 to a child to be tempted by the discord in which 
 his parents live, or by other causes, to take the 
 part of one against the other. Prudent parents 
 however will carefully avoid involving their 
 children in such altercations ; and on such oc- 
 casions good children will behave with that cir- 
 cumspection and tenderness which probity and 
 prudence require. 
 
 IV. We often hear people complain that 
 more assistance, kindness and protection may be 
 expected from strangers than from the nearest 
 
 VOL. i. N
 
 178 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 relations ; but I think this complaint to be ge- 
 nerally unjust and unfounded. There are cer- 
 tainly uncharitable people to be found amongst 
 our relations as well as amongst those that are 
 not connected with us by the ties of blood. It 
 cannot be denied that relations frequently pay 
 regard to their kindred only if they are rich or 
 honoured by the multitude, but are ashamed of 
 their obscure, poor or persecuted relatives ; Ithink 
 however that many demand of their uncles, 
 aunts and cousins more than they ought to do. 
 Our political situation, the rapid encrease of 
 luxury, and the enormous load of taxes with 
 which we are burthened, render it highly ne- 
 cessary for every prudent man to confine his 
 principal care to the maintenance of his wife 
 and children, and the cousins, nephews and 
 nieces who frequently rely entirely on the assis- 
 tance of their powerful and wealthy relations, 
 neglect to render themselves capable of pro- 
 viding for themselves, and squander away their 
 time and money, have but too often such 
 heavy and unreasonable demands upon their 
 kindred, as render it impossible for a man who 
 is not callous to the voice of his duty and con- 
 science, to realize their expectations without 
 being unjust to others. In order to avoid these
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 179 
 
 disagreable collisions, I advise you not to slight 
 that cordial and confidential intercourse which 
 renders our connexion with relations so highly 
 agreeable, but at the same time to entertain and 
 excite as little expectation as possible of obtain- 
 ing assistance and protection from relatives ; 
 to assist your kindred as much as you can with- 
 out being unjust to better people ; but to avoid 
 carefully pushing the fortune of your ignorant 
 and undeserving relations, and procuring places 
 for them to the injury of worthy and meritorious 
 strangers, as this will render you extremely 
 odious and create you more enemies than 
 friends. 
 
 Relations, as well as married people and friends, 
 as we shall state more at large in a future page, 
 ought to observe that persons who know each 
 other more intimately, and see one another fre- 
 quently without disguise, must be particularly 
 circumspect in their conduct to avoid growing 
 tired of each other, and overlook ing great merits 
 on account of trifling defects. 
 
 It is finally to be wished, that the members of 
 large families in the middle station would not 
 continually associate only with their relations ; 
 for this divides human society into too many 
 separate parties ; those that are not connected 
 
 N 2
 
 180 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 with them by the ties of blood are kept at a dis- 
 tance, and if a stranger happen to drop into 
 their circle he finds himself very awkwardly 
 situated. 
 
 V. Old uncles and aunts, particularly such 
 as are married, are very apt to scold, to vent 
 their gouty and hysteric humours at their ne- 
 phews and nieces, and to treat them as if they 
 were still in leading strings, which is highly un- 
 just and imprudent. Such conduct has rendered 
 them proverbial, and a trifling legacy is too 
 dearly bought if we must patiently listen to 
 continual somniferous and useless lectures ; 
 whereas these good old folks would be greatly 
 loved and tenderly treated by their young re- 
 lations, if they were prudent enough to be less 
 morose in their conduct. 
 
 VI. We frequently find in cities, and particu- 
 larly in large manufacturing towns, an extremely 
 stiff and insupportable tone amongst persons 
 who belong to one family. Civil, oaconomical 
 and other considerations render it necessary for 
 them to see each other often, notwithstanding 
 which they constantly quarrel, teaze, vex arid 
 hate one another, and thus imbitter their life. 
 If you cannot sympathise with your relations, 
 you ought at least to treat them civilly, and to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 181 
 
 abstain from making their life miserable by con- 
 tinual altercation, which only tends to render 
 them more spiteful, instead of reconciling their 
 animosity and rancour ; whereas you may be 
 certain of rendering your intercourse with them 
 less burthcnsome and painful by forbearance and 
 kindness: for nothing is more apt to blunt the 
 edge of enmity and discord than returning good 
 for evil, and preserving an unshaken equanimity 
 of temper. 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 On Conjugal Conversation. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 WISE and good choice in concluding the 
 most important bond of human life, is undoubt- 
 edly the safest means by which married people 
 can render their connexion happy and cheerful. 
 If, however, people who do not contribute mu- 
 tually to sweeten the life of each other, and to 
 render its burthens less onerous, but on the con- 
 trary arc swayed by opposite inclinations and
 
 182 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 wishes, and guided by different reasons, unfor- 
 tunately have contracted an indissoluble union, 
 this really is a truly miserable situation, and an 
 existence replete with continual sacrifices, a 
 state of dire necessity from which death only can 
 release the hapless sufferer. 
 
 This bond is no less unfortunate if dissatisfac- 
 tion and aversion be only on one side, if the ma- 
 trimonial tie has not been connected by volun- 
 tary choice, but on account of political or ceco- 
 nomical considerations, or occasioned by coer- 
 cion, despair, distress, gratitude, by accident or 
 a transient whim, or mere sensual desire in 
 which the heart was not interested; if one party 
 always expect to receive and never will give, 
 demanding continually to have all wants and 
 wishes gratified, claim constantly advice, assist- 
 ance, attention, diversion, pleasure and comfort, 
 and will do nothing in return. Be therefore 
 careful how you choose a partner for life, if you 
 do not wish to leave your whole future domestic 
 happiness to the faithless and deceiving favour 
 of chance. 
 
 ^ II. IF we, however, consider that even 
 those marriages which depend on voluntary 
 choice, generally are concluded in an age and 
 under circumstances in which man is determi-
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 183 
 
 ned rather by blind passion and natural instinct 
 than by mature consideration and reason, al- 
 though he dream and talk in that state of delu 
 sion of a great deal of sympathy and fondness 
 we should rather be astonished that there arc 
 still so many happy couples in the world. Kind 
 Providence has, however, regulated every thing 
 so wisely, that our happiness frequently is pro- 
 moted by what seems to be most contrary to it. 
 The mischief arising from our incapacity to 
 choose properly in our juvenile years is happily 
 counterpoised by our being more pliable, duc- 
 tile and accommodating in that age than in the 
 years of maturity. The rough edges are smoothed 
 easier when the mass is yet soft and pliable than 
 when it is hardened. We are less difficult in 
 our younger years than when experience has 
 rendered us nicer and more cautious, and exci- 
 ted great expectations in our soul ; when our 
 cooler reason anatomizes every thing more care- 
 fully, and every interruption of our enjoyment is 
 accounted a great loss, because the reflection on 
 the space we have run through reminds us for- 
 cibly of the short period we may expect to live, 
 and actuates us to husband our time and plea- 
 sure more carefully. If differences arise between 
 a young couple, they arc also soon reconciled
 
 T84. PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 again : aversion and hatred do not root so deeply, 
 and while the senses maintain their right in full 
 force, the most violent matrimonial dissensions 
 are frequently terminated by a single conjugal 
 embrace. To this we must add that habit, com- 
 mon interest, domestic occupations, which leave 
 us little time to abandon ourselves to idle fan- 
 tasies, the pleasure which our children afford us, 
 the mutual care of their education, and the joint 
 concern for their future happiness contribute in 
 those years, in which youth, vigour and acti- 
 vity animate us to ease the burden of the matri- 
 monial yoke, and to afford us numerous and 
 various pleasures which receive an additional 
 relish from the share the faithful partner of our 
 life takes in them. But we are of a different 
 disposition when we have attained the age of 
 maibrity. We then demand more, are eager 
 to earn and to enjoy, and disinclined to take 
 new burthens on our shoulders ; the character 
 has more firmness, we are unwilling to be new 
 moulded, and our desires are less clamorous for 
 gratification. There are but few exceptions 
 from this rule, and these are to be found only 
 among the better class of men, who, as they 
 advance in years, grow more indulgent and 
 gentle, and being firmly convinced of the ge-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 ncral frailty of human nature, demand little and 
 arc willing to give; but this is a kind of heroism, 
 a noble self-denial, and we are speaking here of 
 the reciprocal promotion of mutual happiness. 
 I would therefore advise you to be particularly 
 careful in the choice of a conjugal partner at 
 that period of life, if such counsel be not su- 
 perfluous; for people of a maturer age are 
 generally more circumspect in this matter, and 
 those who being men act like heedless youths, 
 deserve to feel the consequences of their folly. 
 
 I do not believe that a perfect harmony of 
 temper, disposition and thinking, of capacities 
 and taste is necessarily required to constitute 
 matrimonial happiness; the contrary may some- 
 times afford more felicity, if the disparity be not 
 too great and extend not to essential principles. 
 A bond that is founded on mutual interest, and 
 in which all the troubles one party suffers equally 
 affect the other, renders it frequently necessary 
 that the too great vivacity, the rash impetuosity 
 of the husband should be temi>crcd by gentle- 
 ness, and sometimes even by a little phlegmaon 
 the part of the wife, and vice versa, to prevent 
 many heedless steps and their dangerous conse- 
 quences. Many families would also be reduced 
 to total ruin if man and wife were animated with
 
 186 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 an equal propensity for splendour, luxury and 
 extravagnce; or for immoderate benevolence 
 and sociability : and as our young novel readers 
 commonly shape the ideal picture of their future 
 partners after their own dear self, the interfe- 
 rence of an old morose father or guardian is 
 
 sometimes very beneficial to them. Thus 
 
 much on the choice of a partner, which is almost 
 more than I ought to have said here. 
 
 IV. Married people who must see each other 
 every day, and therefore have opportunities 
 enow to get acquainted with each other's faults 
 and humours, and suffer many inconveniences 
 even from the most trifling of them, cannot be 
 too circumspect in their conduct ; and it is 
 highly important for them to find out means of 
 preventing their society from being troublesome 
 and tedious to one another, and to guard against 
 mutual indifference, coldness and aversion. Dis- 
 simulation is one of the worst expedients that 
 can be adopted for that purpose ; but nothing 
 is more efficacious than a certain regard for our 
 own person, and an unrcmitted care to avoid 
 every thing that can produce bad impressions. I 
 would therefore advise married people carefully 
 to cultivate mutual civility, which is the true 
 spirit and characteristic of conjugal familiarity, 
 andatall times distinguishes a man ofgoodbrecd-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 187 
 
 ing. It is one of the principal requisites of ma- 
 trimonial happiness to avoid growing tiresome in 
 conversation, and endeavouring to enliven mu- 
 tual intercourse as much as possible by a prudent 
 change of subjects; as nothing tends more to 
 render the society of those with whom we must 
 live fastidious than harping constantly on the 
 same string, and repeating the same discourse 
 on every occasion. I know a married man who 
 has related the small store of anecdotes and nu- 
 merous stories which he possesses so often to his 
 wife, and in her presence to strangers, that the 
 vexation and irritability which they produce 
 in her mind arc but too apparently depicted in 
 her countenance whenever he entertains his 
 guests with those hacknicd sallies. A person who 
 reads good books, frequents polished societies and 
 reflects upon what he reads, sees and hears, will 
 find every day additional matter for interesting 
 conversation ; but this will certainly not be suffi- 
 cient if he idle away the whole day by the side 
 of his wife, and dedicate no time to useful occu- 
 pation ; he then will be obliged to begui'e the 
 tedious hours by playing at cards, or in any 
 other equally insipid manner, if he can meet with 
 no other company ; or have recourse to what is 
 still more to be deprecated, the temptation of
 
 188 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ' 
 
 quarrelling with his consort by way of amuse- 
 ment. It is therefore very salutary if the hus- 
 band have some regular employment, which fixes 
 him at least for some hours every day to his 
 writing desk, or calls him abroad ; or if a short 
 absence should occasionally intervene, which 
 rarely fails giving new relish to the society of 
 his wife; during which period he is wishfully 
 expected by his faithful partner, who carefully 
 directed his domestic affairs whilst the tcnderest 
 anxiety has been expressed for his safety and 
 presence : on his return she receives him joy- 
 fully; when the evenings glide imperceptibly 
 away amid chearful discourses and consultations 
 relating to the welfare of his family, and in con- 
 sequence the matrimonial happiness of both is 
 not poisoned by satiety. I would therefore 
 advise those that wish to excite a new relish to 
 their conjugal bliss, to separate themselves now 
 and then for a short period from the object of 
 their love, by going a journey, and thus give a 
 new zest to connubial enjoyments. It is also 
 requisite that those who desire to preserve each 
 other's regard, should avoid every thing which 
 can render their person disagreeable in the eyes 
 of the object of their tenderest affection, and 
 particularly uncleanlincss of dress and impn>
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFfi. 1 8<) 
 
 priety of conduct. Those that live in the coun- 
 try in particular, cannot be too careful to avoid 
 all rustic airs, expressions and manners, as well 
 as every neglect of their person : for how is it 
 possible a wife, who discovers more defects and 
 improprieties in her husband, with whom she 
 constantly converses, than in other people should 
 be partial to his society, and regard and love 
 him more than others that display greater polite- 
 ness and decorum ? And how can the conjugal 
 state afford her real happiness, if her feelings be 
 constantly wounded, and her life prove an unin- 
 terrupted train of sacrifices and sufferings ? 
 
 V. IP you so punctually and c^fully fulfil 
 your duties, and act after such a regular and 
 firm plan as to surpass if possible all your ac- 
 quaintances, you may justly expect to be sin- 
 cerely beloved by your wife, and finally prefer- 
 red to all those that produce momentaneous 
 impressions on her heart by single eminent qua- 
 lities and accomplishments. But you must be 
 careful to fulfil all these duties. A man who 
 gets privately drunk once or twice every week, 
 will derive but little benefit from his being capa- 
 ble to boast of his disinterestedness, diligence, 
 ceconomy and the respect paid him by good 
 j and the wife who neglects the education .
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 of her children, will derive very little advanta^ 
 from her chastity, which perhaps is principally 
 owing to want of temptation or a cold disposi- 
 tion. If you claim regard and love as a duty, 
 you must be careful to deserve it ; and if you 
 expect your wife should honour and love you 
 more than any other man, you must not rest 
 this expectation merely upon the promise which 
 she has given you at the altar, but found it 
 chieflv upon your unremitted endeavours to be 
 better and more amiable in every respect than 
 others. Vices and virtues can be classed only 
 with regard to their consequences ; for they all 
 are in factQ^ually important, and a careless hus- 
 band is as criminal as an unfaithful wife. Yet 
 this is not the general way of thinking. We 
 rail frequently against vices to which we are not 
 inclined, and do not consider, that being inat- 
 tentive to important virtues is as criminal as the 
 commission of a bad action. An old woman 
 persecutes with furious rage a poor young girl 
 who has been betrayed by the warmth of her 
 temper and the power of artful seduction into 
 a false step, but does not think to deserve being 
 censured for suffering her children to grow up 
 like irrational brutes, because she has never 
 committed an actual breach of her matrimonial
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 1 (J I 
 
 'rows. A careful attention to all our conjugal 
 duties, is therefore the safest and the only way 
 to insure the attachment and love of our matri- 
 monial partners. 
 
 $ VI. NOTWITHSTANDING this, amiable stran- 
 gers may sometimes happen to make more fa- 
 vourable though transient impressions upon our 
 consorts than are consistent with our peace. It 
 is not to be expected that after the first blind 
 love is evaporated, married people should con- 
 tinue to entertain such a partiality for each 
 other as not to be sensible sometimes of the ac- 
 complishments of others. To this we must add, 
 that people with whom we occasionally con- 
 verse display only their bright side and are more 
 apt to flatter us than those with whom we live. 
 Impressions of this nature will however be soon 
 obliterated, if the husband continue to fulfil his 
 duties faithfully, and betray no symptoms of 
 mean envy and foolish jealousy which never are 
 of the least benefit, but always tend to produce 
 bad consequences. Love and regard cannot be 
 enforced nor obtained by harsh treatment; a 
 heart that must be guarded is like the Mammon 
 of the miser, rather an useless burthen than a 
 real treasure which contributes to render us hap- 
 py : opposition serves only to irritate; no watch-
 
 1Q2 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 fulness is so great as not to be liable to imposi^* 
 tion; and it is natural for man to wish with 
 additional ardour for a supposed good as soon 
 as the attainment of it v is seen to be attended 
 with difficulties, which otherwise perhaps would 
 have had no charm for him. 
 
 I would also .advise you to scorn all those lit- 
 tle artifices which may be excusable in lovers, 
 but ought never to be practised by married 
 people; as for instance, to excite jealousy in 
 order to animate the passion of the beloved 
 object with additional warmth. An union 
 which must be founded on mutual regard is 
 utterly incompatible with crooked means. If 
 my wife unfortunately believe me to be capable 
 of sacrificing my duty and conjugal affection to 
 foreign inclinations, such practices will serve 
 only to lessen her regard for me ; and if she 
 perceive that I only trifle with her, these artifi- 
 ces will be worse than fruitless, and may pro- 
 duce the most lamentable consequences. 
 
 I repeat it again : although the man should 
 give his wife or the wife her husband some cause 
 for uneasiness, yet this little deviation of the 
 heart will not be of long duration, if the injured 
 party continue faithfully to perform all matri- 
 monial duties. The misguided wife, for in- 
 3
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 1 C)3 
 
 %tance, will sooner or later say to herself in a 
 moment of cool and dispassionate reflection : 
 " Although that man possess many amiable qua- 
 lities and accomplishments, yet he is not con- 
 nected with me by such tender ties as those that 
 unite me with my husband who shares all my 
 cares, is the fat her and supporter of my children, 
 and participates of all my joys and sorrows ; nor 
 will he ever, love me more tenderly than my 
 faithful consort, who has already given me so 
 many undoubted proofs of his forbearance and 
 affection.'* And such a triumph of returning 
 love which must take place, sooner or later, obli- 
 terates all former sufferings. 
 
 VII. PRUDENCE and probity however re- 
 quire that we should arm ourselves against the 
 impressions which the superior accomplishments 
 of others can make on our heart. I would ad- 
 vise every one, therefore, to be particularly care- 
 ful to avoid such dangerous opportunities in the 
 earlier part of life, when the imagination and 
 the passions are but too apt to take fire, and 
 the heart so strongly inclined to rebel against 
 the controul of sober reason. A young iiia.ii 
 who perceives that a woman with whom he 
 frequently converses is likely to become dearer 
 to him than his wife, and thereby kindle a wild 
 
 VOL. i. O
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 fire in his bosom, or at least imbittcr his domes- 
 tic happiness, will do well to drop all intercourse 
 with her, lest her illicit society should become 
 necessary to him. This rule of prudence ought 
 to be particularly attended to in our conversa- 
 tion with the finer coquets who. without medi- 
 tating any breach of honour, delight in sporting 
 with the peace of an honest and feeling man, 
 and are proud to cause sleepless nights, to pro- 
 voke tears, and to excite the jealousy of other 
 women. There are but too. many vain females 
 of this class, who are actuated not by a bad heart 
 or a vitiated temper, but by an unbridled desire 
 to shine and to be generally admired, and thus 
 to disturb the domestic peace of many a married 
 couple. People of a maturer age whose heart 
 has attained more firmness, may safely adopt a 
 different mode of conduct. A man of firm prin- 
 ciples, who accounts to his understanding for the 
 feelings of his heart, and aims at the possession 
 of real happiness, will soon recover from the 
 too favourable ideas which he may have formed 
 of another person to the disadvantage of his wife, 
 by seeing the former so frequently as to be able 
 to observe that she has more defects than his 
 faithful, loving and sensible wife. If he at the 
 same time reflect upon the tender interest which
 
 OF SOCIAL LIEE. 105 
 
 his consort takes in all his pleasures and sorrows, 
 at the anxiety which she is wont to display for 
 his happiness and comfort, and calls to his aid 
 the reflection on the pledges of their mutual ju- 
 venile love, his heart will undoubtedly be eager 
 voluntarily to return to the sweetest duties. 
 
 VIII. NOTHING is more absurd, nor can 
 any thing render domestic life more burthen- 
 some and miserable than the foolish idea that 
 married people, because they are wedded to 
 each other, have a right to monopolize all the 
 feelings of their partner, and to demand that no 
 other good and amiable person shall be dear to 
 the heart of their consort, that the husband 
 must be dead to the worth of every other female, 
 and that it is a breach of conjugal fidelity if the 
 wife speak with warmth and admiration of an- 
 other man, and delight in conversing with him. 
 Such demands are doubly ridiculous and unjust, 
 if one party be already obliged to sacrifice much 
 to the other on account of the difference of dis- 
 position, or for other reasons. If in such a case 
 the husband, for instance, endeavour to exhila- 
 rate himself in the company of amiable people, 
 to forget his sufferings for a few moments, to 
 raise and to warm his spirits, the wife rather 
 ought to thank him for it, than to distress him 
 o 2,
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 by foolish reproaches, to provoke his indigna- 
 tion, and to drive him to despair and the com- 
 mission of actual injuries. 
 
 IX. THE choice of such friends as well as 
 of pleasures and amusements must however be 
 left to the heart and the taste of every individual. 
 'We have observed already, that a perfect simi- 
 larity of temper, disposition and taste is not ab- 
 solutely required for conjugal happiness. It 
 Would therefore be an insupportable slavery for 
 either party to be obliged to conform in all 
 these points entirely with the disposition of the 
 other. It is already hard enough for feeling 
 people to be deprived of the pleasure of sharing 
 with the partner of their life the noble and heart- 
 elevating sentiments and impressions which arc 
 produced in their mind by good books, the fine 
 arts and the like, because her soul is not suscep- 
 tible of them ; but to be obliged to deny our- 
 selves every gratification of that nature, or to 
 regulate the choice of our friends and conversa- 
 tion according to the unfeeling whims of a per- 
 verted head and a frigid heart, and to deprive 
 ourselves of all the comforts that are congenial 
 to our disposition and way of thinking this is 
 the highest degree of mental misery and worse 
 than the torments of hell : and I need not to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 1Q7 
 
 add that the husband, who is designed by nature 
 and the civil constitution to be the head and 
 director of his family, and frequently is actuated 
 by the most important reasons to cultivate this 
 or that connexion, to choose this or that occu- 
 pation, or to take steps which may appear sin- 
 gular to those that are unacquainted with his 
 private motives, can be expected least to suffer 
 himself to be controlled in such a manner. On 
 the contrary, it contributes very much to render 
 Social Life comfortable, if people who are united 
 for ever by the most sacred ties, and bound to 
 share reciprocally their joys and sorrows, endea- 
 vour to accustom themselves gradually to think 
 and to feel congenially, and to render their taste 
 harmonious ; and it is a proof of an almost 
 brutish stupidity, of a despicable indolence, and 
 frequently of the most vitiated will, if we, after 
 having been united many years with a reason- 
 able, polished, and loving being, still are as 
 ignorant, raw, calloun and obstinate as we were 
 before. Jn that case tranquillity of mind, peace 
 and happiness can abide no longer with us after 
 the first rapture of love is evaporated, and the 
 suffering party begins to be sensible of the con- 
 sort's defects, and of the happiness which pro- 
 bably would have resulted from a connexion
 
 198 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 with another person ; whereas tenderness and 
 real regard will easily produce that harmony of 
 soul in reasonable and sensible people, if not 
 obstinacy or a revolting difference of thinking 
 render the disparity irreconcilable. 
 
 X. BUT how are we to guard against an 
 actual breach of conjugal fidelity ? How are we 
 to arm ourselves when violence of temper, want 
 of self-dominion, seduction, the arts of co- 
 quetry, beauty and opportunities on the one 
 hand, tempt us to break the matrimonial vow ; 
 and on the other we are repelled by the mo- 
 roseness, bad temper, stupidity, sickliness, de- 
 formity or the advanced age of our consort ? 
 This book is not designed to be a system of 
 morals ; I must therefore leave it to every sen- 
 sible reader to solve this delicate query as well 
 as he can, and to consider by what means he 
 can acquire a proper dominion over his pas- 
 sions, and avoid dangerous opportunities and 
 temptations, which indeed is not so easily effected 
 in certain situations and relations as many people 
 may think, particularly if we be young. I shall 
 however say as much on this head as propriety 
 and the plan of this work will permit. 
 
 If you be desirous to avoid the commission of 
 an actual breach of fidelity, I would advise you
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 not to accustom yourself and your wife to ex- 
 cess in the enjoyment of your matrimonial 
 rights, to voluptuousness, effeminacy and in- 
 temperance, and thus to prevent the corporeal 
 wants and desires growing too violent. It is 
 further highly necessary for married people to 
 be chaste; delicate and modest in the dispensa- 
 tion of their matrimonial favours, to avoid dis- 
 gust, satiety and faunish lust. A kiss is a 
 kiss ; and it will generally be the wife's fault if 
 a sensible husband be eager to obtain that kiss 
 (which he can receive without trouble and in an 
 honourable way from the pure and glowing lips 
 of his helpmate) from a stranger, contrary to 
 his duty and the laws of decency, and vice 
 versa. Should you perceive that your consort 
 is charmed by the power of novelty, you 
 may turn that weakness to your advantage 
 by being more parsimonious in the dispen- 
 sation of your matrimonial favours, and give 
 a new zest to conjugal desires by occasional 
 continence and other impediments thrown into 
 the way of your partner's sensual gratifications. 
 
 XI. IT undoubtedly is a most painful step to 
 dissolve an union with a person who has been 
 dear to us, and was once the idol of our wishes. 
 A man of sense, who knows from experience
 
 20O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 the lamentable consequences which generally 
 attend divorces, w$l therefore first try all other 
 means before he resolves to separate himself 
 from the faithless partner of his bed, and rather 
 take all possible pains to reform and recal her 
 to her duty than have recourse to that distres- 
 sing expedient. 
 
 There are two means of effecting that lau- 
 dable purpose, which is highly becoming a man 
 who possesses a feeling heart and a generous 
 disposition of mind. 
 
 Gentle and prudent treatment is the first 
 means which I would advise an husband to ap- 
 ply if he find that his wife be inclined to deviate 
 from the path of her matrimonial duty. Harsh 
 and g-illifig reproaches, and all manner of vio- 
 lence will only serve to widen the breach ; 
 whereas mild and kind treatment will frequently 
 be sufficient to recal a frail wife from the road 
 to her own and her husband's ruin. But if you 
 wish to succeed, your endeavours to treat her 
 with gentleness must be entirely unaffected, 
 and nbt_ tinctured with the least symptom of 
 stifled indignation or secret anger ; for it will 
 be entirely out of your power to reclaim her to 
 her duty if she perceive that your conduct be 
 the effect of art. Prudence requires farther,
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 2O1 
 
 that you should display sorrow and grief when- 
 ever you surprise her in the act of deviating 
 from her matrimonial obligations, and to avoid 
 carefully betraying the least sign of fretfulncss 
 or hatred, as such conduct would only serve to 
 confirm her in the pursuit of her lawless career, 
 and to alienate her heart more from yon, be* 
 cause some people find a pleasure in provoking 
 the passions of others, whereas no one that has 
 the least spark of sensibility left can delight in 
 giving pain. If you continue to proceed in this 
 gentle and prudent manner for some time, you 
 will have the satisfaction to convince her of 
 the goodness of your heart, to insure her re- 
 gard, to make her regret the pain and grief 
 which she causes )^ou by her weakness, and 
 then only can you safely try the second means, 
 and remonstrate with her on the impropriety of 
 her conduct. But if you really be desirous this 
 step should be crowned with success you must 
 never lose sight of the following rules :, 
 
 First of all you must, as we have already ob- 
 served, impress her with a favourable iJca of 
 ynurse]f\ for if your erring wife has no regard 
 for you, and suspects your heart or principles, 
 remonstrances will only render bad worse. But 
 if you have gained her good opinion, if she
 
 2O2 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 esteem the goodness of your heart, and be af- 
 fected by your generous conduct, you may 
 safely venture to speak a word of admonition to 
 her, and to remind her of the impropriety and 
 injustice of her behaviour. This must how- 
 ever be done mildly and in a convincing manner. 
 You must remonstrate with her in a kind and 
 affectionate strain, call her deviation by a gentle 
 name, appeal to the many proofs of your sincere 
 affection for her which she has received, point 
 out indubitable instances of her transgression 
 of her duty, as well as the lamentable conse- 
 quences that may result from a continuation of 
 it, and paint with lively colours the sufferings 
 which you have patiently borne. It is how- 
 ever absolutely necessary you should not do this 
 in the presence of witnesses, but in private, to 
 spare her the pain of seeing her weakness ex- 
 posed ; because every mortal is desirous to con- 
 ceal his faults from the world, and our heart re- 
 volts and feels indignant sensations if others be 
 informed, in our presence, of our weakness and 
 defects. Rage and bitterness are in that case 
 the usual consequences of such an imprudent 
 indelicacy. I would further beg you to observe, 
 that you must select for such remonstrances 
 
 j 
 
 moments in which she is in a good humour.
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 203 
 
 Every mortal has his serene and gloomy hours, 
 and the introduction of painful subjects at a 
 time when the mind is pressed down by dis- 
 agreeable ideas and sensations generally produce 
 unpleasant consequences. If you be so fortu- 
 nate to catch a propitious moment for remon- 
 strating with your misguided consort, you must 
 not neglect to do justice to the merits and ami- 
 able qualities which she still possesses. Whoever 
 knows the nature of the human heart will be 
 sensible, that it is of the last importance to pay 
 attention to this rule. Man wishes to be good, 
 and his mind revolts at the idea of thinking 
 himself guilty. We are terrified at the charge 
 of having rendered a fellow-creature miserable, 
 feel ourselves degraded, and think that our whole 
 character is ruined. Can you blame your wife 
 if her heart revolt in such a trying moment ; 
 and will it not be necessary to remove or to 
 prevent such an unfounded error ? This you 
 will do most successfully if you preface your 
 remonstrance by speaking of your wife's good 
 qualities, of her talents, the laudable features of 
 her character, of the goodness of her heart and 
 other accomplishments that claim your regard ; 
 in short, by doing justice to the merits which 
 she possesses, and by representing her deviation
 
 204 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 from her conjugal obligations as the only stain 
 that disgraces her. This will soothe her mind, 
 check her anger, and render her capable of 
 listening patiently to your admonitions, and 
 willing to follow your advice. The peace of 
 your mind will certainly gain by such an at- 
 tempt to recal your erring consort to her duty, 
 though you should not succeed as well as you 
 may wish ; for at least you will render her more 
 cautious in her conduct, and have the satis- 
 faction of having done on your part every thing 
 that love and prudence can require. 
 
 $ XII. The charge of an actual commission 
 of adultery is highly awful and pregnant with 
 the most serious consequences ; it is therefore 
 the sacred duty of every husband who thinks 
 himself injured to inquire carefully and mi- 
 nutely, Whether it be founded merely on sus- 
 picion or on indubitable facts, before he takes 
 any step to vindicate his marital rights. I 
 would therefore advise every one that thinks he 
 has reason to suspect his wife of disloyal prac- 
 tices, to take care not to give way to unfounded 
 presumption, and not to infer from the seeming 
 partiality of his consort for another man, of 
 from her predilection for the society of an ac- 
 complished stranger, that she is unfaithful to
 
 OF SOCIAL. LIFE. 205 
 
 him. Much less ought he to rely upon the 
 insinuations and dubious hints of pretended 
 friends, or on the tales of antiquated gossips. 
 Even our own experience ought to be suspi- 
 cious to us in such a momentous case, if our 
 observations have not been made with the 
 greatest circumspection and coolness ; for how 
 often do we find that we heard and saw wrong, 
 and repent too late of our hasty judgment ! 
 Even if your wife should grow rather cool in 
 her conversation with you, you would do wrong 
 in taxing her immediately with an improper 
 attachment for another ; as this may frequently 
 be the effect of private sorrows or secret vexa- 
 tion, and sometimes of your own conduct. 
 
 Should you, however, think you have suf- 
 ficient cause for suspicion, it will be prudent in 
 you to institute the most impartial investigation, 
 and to inquire only for such proofs as admit of 
 no other interpretation. Justice and love ought 
 to be your only guides in that painful tusk; 
 and these require you should interpret all ap- 
 pearances which excite your suspicion in the 
 most favourable manner, and with as much cha- 
 rity as possible. While there is the least pos- 
 sibility to deduce unfavourable appearances from 
 any other cause than infidelity, your own peace
 
 206 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 of mind requires you should not be too hasty 
 in your judgment, but do as you would wish to 
 be done by were you in the predicament of 
 your suspected wife. 
 
 It is further a rule of prudence and justice, 
 not to betray your suspicion to your faithless 
 consort while you cannot yet substantiate it by 
 the most incontrovertible proofs ; for it is the 
 most unpardonable cruelty to afflict an innocent 
 heart by such a dreadful suspicion ; and, be- 
 sides, if you give vent to your suppositions, you 
 will run the risk of inraging and exasperating 
 your wife to such a degree as may actuate her 
 to punish you by the commission of a crime 
 which she otherwise, perhaps, would have ab- 
 horred. Such a cruel injury may also destroy 
 the peace of an innocent heart for ever. 
 
 XIII. BUT how are you to act if you should 
 be so unfortunate as to have incontrovertible proofs 
 of your consort's guilt ? In that case, your own 
 dignity, prudence, and charity demand of you 
 not to torment her by contempt, reproaches, 
 scorn, or similar humiliating treatment. For 
 what would it avail you ? It would serve no 
 other purpose than to plunge her deeper into 
 guilt, and put it entirely out of your power to
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 2O7 
 
 recal her to virtue, and lo save yourself from 
 disgrace and sorrow. 
 
 Therefore avoid also divulging her crime, 
 complaining of it toothers, and so exposing her 
 to public shame; because this would be the 
 surest way of driving her to despair, of con- 
 firming her in the prosecution of her criminal 
 course, and of poisoning the mind of your 
 children. 
 
 Be generous and humane to your fallen con- 
 sort ; do not suffer your children or servants to 
 neglect paying her the respect which they owe 
 her ; and avoid as much as possible doing any 
 thing that could give her pain, particularly in 
 the presence of strangers. 
 
 Neglect no opportunity to regain her love by 
 kindness, by defending her person against those 
 that speak ill of her, by paying a just tribute to 
 her good qualities in her absence, by displaying 
 a serene and chcarful countenance in her pre- 
 sence, and speaking to her in a mild and con- 
 ciliating tone ; by convincing her that you take 
 a lively interest in her concerns and sympathize 
 with her sorrows, by affording her every plea- 
 sure and comfort that lies in your power, by 
 consulting her on all affairs that concern her ;
 
 208 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 as well as endeavouring to please her by addi- 
 tional neatness in your dress and the like. 
 
 Examine your own conduct impartially ; en- 
 deavour to discover what may have caused the 
 alienation of her love, and hasten by every kind- 
 ness to re-acquire it ; for it is almost impossible 
 a wife should be unfaithful to her husband if 
 he have not impaired her love by some impro- 
 priety in his conduct. 
 
 If you follow these rules you may attempt 
 the reformation of your erring consort-with the 
 most sanguine hopes of success, as your kind- 
 ness and generous conduct will not fail to gain 
 you her confidence and regard ; and without 
 these all attempts to recal her to her duty will 
 be fruitless. Should you be so fortunate as to 
 succeed in your endeavour to restore her to 
 virtue, your mutual love will undoubtedly be 
 stronger than ever, and the increase of your 
 happiness will sufficiently atone for all former 
 sufferings. It is but natural that this should be 
 the consequence. Repentance of her past mis- 
 conduct, mutual joy at her reformation, the 
 recollection of the dangers and sorrows which 
 are past, and the additional relish which the 
 conjugal embraces must derive from the long
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 interval during which both parties were deprived 
 of them, cannot but be a sufficient compensa- 
 tion for the troubles and the self-denial with 
 which the recovery of such an unfortunate be- 
 ing is attended a compensation far more valu- 
 able and honourable than any sum which the 
 laws can adjudge to the injured partner of a 
 seduced female the inefficacy of such legal 
 punishment being sufficiently proved by the 
 numerous trials for adultery which occupy our 
 courts of justice. 
 
 XIV. But what is ,to be done if all these 
 attempts to recal a faithless wife to her duty be 
 made in vain ? In this case only two expedients 
 remain, viz. either to separate yourself from 
 your guilty consort , or, if circumstances render 
 it necessary to endure her, leaving her reforma- 
 tion to time. 
 
 The former step ought to be taken by a 
 prudent man only in case his wife's guilt be 
 attended with public disgrace, or with the pro- 
 bable ruin of his fortune ; or if the mind of his 
 children be in danger of being irretrievably in- 
 fected by her bad example. 
 
 I would however advise you, for the pre- 
 servation of your honour and the peace of your 
 mind, as well as for your safety and the sake of 
 
 VOL. r. P
 
 210 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 your children, to avoid all violent reproaches, 
 ill-treatment and every thing that betrays ha- 
 tred and revenge ; for this will at all times do 
 more harm than good. It will also be prudent, 
 for the same reasons, not to offend nor to pro- 
 voke the relations of the guilty consort, or any 
 one of those that are connected with her, because 
 you would thus needlessly increase the number 
 of your enemies, blow up the flame of ven- 
 geance, hurt your peace of mind and your con- 
 stitution by the numberless vexations to which 
 you would expose yourself. 
 
 I would also advise you not to deny your 
 faithless consort, neither before nor after the 
 legal separation, that civility and respect which 
 good breeding and decency demand, but treat 
 her with the same politeness which you are 
 used to shew a stranger ; never to speak ill of 
 her, but render the state of separation as easy 
 to her as possible, and to settle the matter so as 
 not to injure the welfare of your children by 
 giving vent to passionate heat. 
 
 As, however, circumstances and considera- 
 tions may take place that will render it prudent 
 to avoid a total separation from the guilty wife, 
 and rather to continue Jiving with her than 
 taking the benefit of the law notwithstanding
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 211 
 
 the most glaring proofs of her criminality, I 
 beg leave to say a few words on that head. 
 
 This case can take place only if the separa- 
 tion threaten to be attended with the most ruinous 
 consequences ; if for instance the children would 
 be deprived by a divorce of the whole of the 
 fortune which they have to expect, or if the 
 family and the connexions of the guilty wife 
 should be so powerful as to be able to ruin you 
 entirely. These and other considerations ought 
 to be carefully pondered before you take a de- 
 cisive step ; and if you find that a total separa- 
 tion from your faithless partner will evidently be 
 attended with more lamentable consequences 
 than you have to expect if you continue to live 
 with her, prudence and self-preservation demand 
 of you to prefer the latter. 
 
 In that case you will act wisely in concealing 
 the disgrace of the faithless wife as much as 
 possible from the public, but particularly from 
 your servants and children. I would also advise 
 you to avail yourself of every propitious oppor- 
 tunity that may offer itself to remonstrate with 
 your unfortunate consort against her lamentable 
 infatuation, to represent to her in mild accents, 
 but with lively colours, the dangerous conse- 
 quences of her conduct, the iufamy to which 
 p 2
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 she devotes herself, and to conjure her not to 
 disgrace herself publicly, at least, for her own 
 sake ; to palliate her conduct, if it be censured 
 in companies in your presence, to meet her 
 sometimes abroad, and to treat her on such oc- 
 casions with so much kindness and good nature 
 as to lead others to think that you live with 
 her on the most amicable footing. This is no 
 deception ; that being a term which conveys 
 the supposition of an untruth by means of which 
 we injure others. 
 
 It will generally produce the most salutary 
 consequences if the injured party treat the 
 offender, at home and abroad, with a certain 
 degree of regard and kindness, sparing her all 
 unnecessary pain, and proving to her by words 
 and deeds that he does not deserve the injuries 
 which he suffers from her misconduct. Such 
 a wise and noble manner of proceeding will un- 
 doubtedly produce some good effect, particu- 
 larly if the injured husband watch with addi- 
 tional circumspection over his own conduct, 
 becoming more than ever a rigorous observer of 
 the laws of propriety and virtue, and setting his 
 children an example worthy of their imitation. 
 
 I have been thus particular with regard to 
 this momentous point, as the crime of adultery
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 Seems to have become the most fashionable of 
 all vices ; the principal cause of which seems to 
 me to originate in its not being attended in 
 this country with public disgrace, but subject 
 only to a penalty proportionate to the circum- 
 stances of the seducer. Libertines and rakes 
 are too willing to part with their money for the 
 sake of sensual gratification to be materially 
 affected by the risk which they run in seducing 
 the wife of an honest man ; whereas solitary 
 confinement, transportation, or some public 
 mark of disgrace would more effectually serve 
 to check them in their libidinous pursuits than 
 the heaviest fines. We find that in countries 
 where the vile seducers of married women are 
 publicly branded with shame, or punished with 
 imprisonment, the crime of adultery appears to 
 be less frequent than in this country. 
 
 $ XV. AN unlimited confidence ought to 
 subsist amongst married people. But are there 
 no instances at all in which one party may keep 
 something secret from the other ? Undoubtedly 
 there are. As the husband is designed by na- 
 ture to be the counsellor of his wife and the 
 head of his family ; as the consequences of every 
 unguarded step taken by his consort devolve 
 upon him, and as the laws make him responsible
 
 214 PKACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 for her conduct ; as the wife, in fact, is no mem- 
 ber of the civil body, and the violation of her 
 duties falls heavy upon the husband, disgraces 
 and injures the family more immediately than 
 the misconduct of her consort; as she depends 
 more on the public opinion than him, and 
 finally, as secresy is rather a manly than a female 
 virtue, it may morfe rarely be proper in the 
 wife to be close and reserved than in her hus- 
 band, and concealment and secresy towards the 
 head of the family may produce the worst of 
 consequences. The latter, on the contrary, who 
 is more immediately connected with the state is 
 frequently intrusted with secrets which he has 
 no right to divulge, and the communication of 
 which may embroil him with others, and who 
 Is to direct the whole house, and frequently 
 cannot submit the plan upon which he acts to 
 the weaker judgment of his wife, but must fol- 
 low the dictates of his heart and reason with 
 unshaken firmness, and pay no regard to the 
 Opinion of the multitude, cannot possibly be 
 always as communicative and unreserved as his 
 consort might wish. Difference of situation 
 however may alter this point of view. There are 
 men who would be reduced to the most lament- 
 able state were they to take a single step without.
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 215 
 
 the privacy and advice of their wives; and there 
 are very talkative men and close women. Be- 
 sides, a wife may be intrusted with female secrets 
 by a friend. In these and similar cases, pru- 
 dence and probity must regulate the conduct of 
 both parties. It is however an incontestible 
 truth, that all conjugal happiness is at an end if 
 real mistrust take place and candour must be 
 enforced. Nothing can be more contemptible 
 and mean in a husband, than being so vulgar as 
 to peep secretly into the private letters of his 
 wife, or to open them clandestinely, to search 
 her drawers and to rummage her papers. Such 
 miserable and ungentlemanlike practices will be 
 of very little or no advantage to him ; for 
 nothing is easier than to elude the watchfulness 
 of a man with regard to injuries that must be 
 proved, if once the bonds of mutual attachment 
 be destroyed, and the perplexities of delicacy 
 and regard conquered. Nothing is less difficult 
 for a wife than to deceive a husband whom she 
 perfectly knows, if she once have lost all credit 
 with him, and beside can convict him of having 
 frequently given way to false suspicions, because 
 his passion makes him blind, and his mistrust and 
 jealousy provoke imposition. Deception is ge- 
 nerally the consequence of such an imprudent
 
 2l6 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 and unjust conduct, which may occasion the 
 ruin of the moral character of the best of 
 women, and provoke her to commit crimes 
 which otherwise perhaps she never would have 
 meditated. 
 
 XVI. IT is not advisable, for reasons which 
 must be obvious to every intelligent man, that 
 married people should transact all their business 
 in common ; on the contrary, it is necessary that 
 each party should have its proper department of 
 activity. It is generally attended with very un- 
 pleasant consequences if the wife, for instance, 
 compose the official reports of the husband, and 
 the latter, when company is expected, must su- 
 perintend the kitchen and assist in the nursery. 
 This causes the greatest confusion, excites the 
 ridicule of the domestics, and, as one relies upon 
 the other, nothing is done properly. 
 
 XVII. As for the management of pecu- 
 niary concerns I cannot approve the method 
 which is almost generally adopted in allowing 
 ladies a certain sum of money for housekeeping, 
 with which they are obliged to contrive to de- 
 fray all expences. This creates a divided in- 
 terest ; the wife is reduced to the class of ser- 
 vants and tempted to grow selfish, endeavours to 
 save, is induced to think her husband too dainty,
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 21 7 
 
 and vexed if he invite a friend to dinner ; the 
 husband on the other hand, if he be not actuated 
 by delicate aad generous sentiments, is apt to 
 think that he lives not well enough for his money, 
 or if he wish for an extraordinary dish dares 
 not to ask for it through fear of distressing his 
 wife. I would therefore advise you to give your 
 wife (if not a cook, a housekeeper, or any other 
 domestic manage those concerns which properly 
 belong to the department of the mistress of the 
 house) a sum that is adequate to your circum- 
 stances for defraying the expcnces of your table, 
 and when that is expended not to look cross if 
 she ask for more. Should you, however, find 
 that she expends too much, prudence and ceco- 
 nomy bid you to examine her accounts, and to 
 consult with her in what manner your expcnces 
 can be rendered more adequate to your income. 
 Do not conceal your circumstances from her; 
 and allow her a small sum for innocent pleasures, 
 dress and charitable purposes, of which you 
 ought to demand no account from her. 
 
 XVIH. CEcoxoMY is one of the first requi- 
 sites of conjugal happiness. Therefore should 
 you have acquired a habit of dissipation in your 
 unmarried state, prudence requires, above all 
 things, you should disengage yourself from it
 
 218 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 as soon as you are united to a deserving consort, 
 and use yourself to domestic oeconomy. A 
 single man may easily endure distress, want, 
 humiliation and neglect ; for if he have a pair 
 of sound arms he may find bread any where ; he 
 can easily resolve to quit all his connexions, and 
 support his life in a remote corner of the globe 
 by the labour of his hands : but if a husband 
 and father have reduced himself to want and 
 poverty by bad oeconomy, and angry looks meet 
 those of his family who demand from him sup- 
 port, attendance, education and pleasure ; if 
 then he do not know where to get bread for to- 
 morrow ; or if his civic honour, his promotion 
 and the establishment of his children require he 
 should live in a decent stile, or display some de- 
 gree of splendour in his dress, and he has ren- 
 dered himself incapable to do it ; if his creditors 
 haunt all his steps, and attornies, jews, and 
 usurers distress him day after day then the un- 
 fortunate man becomes a prey to ill-humour, to 
 bodily and mental diseases ; despair seizes him 
 and grief preys on his vitals ; he endeavours to 
 blunt the keen edge of self-created misery by 
 abandoning himself to an incessant round of 
 diversions and excesses ; his conscience tortures 
 tris mind with pungent reproaches ; the bitter
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 21 Q 
 
 complaints of his wife follow him every where, 
 and the groans and lamentations of his hapless 
 children haunt him even in his sleep ; dreadful 
 dreams torment him in the arms of his unhappy 
 consort ; the contempt with which his purse- 
 proud acquaintances look down upon him dis- 
 pels ev r ery rising ray of hope, and gloomy 
 clouds of despondency darken his brow ; his 
 friends forsake him, the ridicule of his enemies 
 tortures his soul, and in that dreadful situation 
 he is lost to all domestic happiness ; the hapless 
 man is then particularly anxious to shun the 
 society of those whose peace he has ruined. 
 Should therefore one party or the other be in- 
 clined to dissipation, it will be advisable to put 
 a stop to the growing evil in time, and to con- 
 fide the management of all pecuniary affairs tp 
 that party which can husband the purse best. 
 It will also be needful that a regular plaa should 
 be formed, to repair the mischief which already 
 has been done, to execute it strictly, to avoid all 
 expences which are not utterly necessary, and 
 to take care that something should be left for 
 enabling the dissipating party to enjoy at least 
 some pleasures, lest the restriction should be too 
 onerous. 
 
 XIX. IP my readers should ask, Whether
 
 220" PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 it will be better if the husband or the wife be 
 rich ? I must give it as my opinion that it is 
 best if the former have the larger fortune. It 
 will be well if both have some property to con- 
 tribute a mutual share to the expences of house- 
 keeping, and to prevent one party from being 
 maintained entirely at the cost of the other. 
 But if the dcpendance to which the poorer party 
 naturally will be reduced on that account can- 
 not be avoided, it is more consistent with nature 
 that the husband, being the head of the family, 
 should contribute the larger share towards sup- 
 porting it. A person who marries a rich wife 
 ought to take great care to avoid becoming her 
 slave on that account. .j 
 
 The little attention which is paid to this rule 
 of prudence is the principal cause which de~ 
 stroys the happiness of numerous families. If 
 my wife had brought me a large fortune I would 
 be particularly solicitous to prove to her that I 
 have but few wants ; I would incur very few 
 private expences, and convince her that I can 
 acquire by my own industry as much as I want ; 
 I would pay for my board, and be only the adr 
 ministrator of her fortune ; I would keep a 
 splendid house, because this is fit for rich people, 
 but show her that splendour does not flatter my
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. Ill 
 
 vanity, that I can be as happy if I have but two 
 dishes at dinner as if I had twenty ; that I do 
 not want being waited upon ; that I have a pair 
 of sound legs which can carry me as far, though 
 not so fast, as her coach and four ; and then I 
 would exercise the prerogative of a husband, 
 and demand an unlimited controul over the ap- 
 plication of her fortune. 
 
 XX. Is it necessary that the husband should 
 possess a larger share of prudence and judgment 
 than the wife ? This question is also of no small 
 importance ; therefore let us investigate it more 
 minutely ! 
 
 The notion of prudence and judgment, with 
 all its relations and modifications, is not always 
 understood in the same manner. The prudence 
 of a husband ought to be of a quite different 
 nature from what the wife should possess ; and 
 if prudence be confounded with knowledge of 
 the world, or even with learning, it would be 
 madness to desire that the other sex should rea- 
 lize as much of it as men. A wife ought to 
 possess an esprit de dttn'il, a finesse, a certain 
 degree of innocent dexterity, circumspection, 
 wit, gentleness, pliancy and patience which the 
 male sex do not always possess in the same 
 measure. The husband, on the other hand, 
 
 3
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ought to be endowed with a higher degree of 
 foresight, firmness and pertinacy, less subject to 
 prejudices, and more indefatigable and polished 
 than the wife. 
 
 If you take that question in a more general 
 sense, and ask, Whether it be better if the hus- 
 band possess weaker intellects and a smaller 
 share of knowledge in matters which must be 
 understood rightly if we wish to live happy in 
 the world, or the wife ? I reply without hesita- 
 tion, that it is almost impossible a family could 
 be governed well if the wife bear an absolute 
 sway. There may be exceptions, but I know 
 of none. By this observation, however, I do 
 not mean to reflect any blame on the influence 
 which good and prudent wives contrive to exer- 
 cise over the heart of their husbands ; for who 
 could blame a deserving wife for applying her 
 powers to that purpose, and what reasonable 
 man is not sensible that he frequently wants 
 gentle corrections ? That exclusive arbitrary 
 sway of which we were speaking, seems to be 
 diametrically contrary from the order of nature. 
 A weaker constitution of the body, an innate 
 predilection for gratifications that are less lasting, 
 whims of all sorts which often fetter the under- 
 standing on the most important occasions, edit-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 223 
 
 cation, and finally the civil constitution which 
 renders the husband responsible for the actions 
 of his wife, design her to look out for protection, 
 and demand of the husband to be her guardian. 
 Nothing however is more absurd than if the 
 wiser and stronger party be to commit itself to 
 the protection of the weak and less wise. Ladica 
 of eminent mental accomplishments act, there- 
 fore, evidently contrary to their own interest, 
 and prepare for themselves numerous disagree- 
 able scenes in suffering themselves to be seduced 
 by a desire for dominion, to look out for and 
 choose stupid husbands ; the inevitable conse- 
 quences of such an improper and imprudent 
 choice are disgust, confusion, and the contempt 
 of the public. Men who are so poor in spirit as 
 not to be capable of acting the part of the mas- 
 ter of the house properly, would do better to 
 remain single all their life than to render them- 
 selves a laughing-stock to their children, their 
 domestics and neighbours. I knew a weak 
 prince, whose consort exercised such an abso- 
 lute control over him, that once when she had 
 ordered her carriage to be got ready, he sneaked 
 into the court yard to ask the coachman, " If 
 he knew whether he was to be of the party." 
 Stich a disgraceful want of authority renders a 
 
 1
 
 224 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 husband extremely ridiculous, and no one likes 
 to transact business with a man whose wilj, 
 friendship, and manner of judging depends on 
 the whims, nods, and corrections of his wife, 
 who is obliged to communicate all his letters to 
 his governess, and dares not to undertake any 
 thing until he has held a curtain-consultation 
 with his tutoress. A husband ought not to 
 deny his authority even in his civility to his con- 
 sort. Even the female sex despise a man who, 
 before he can take a resolution, first must con- 
 sult with his wife, always carries her cloak, is 
 afraid of going into a company where she is not 
 present, or must dismiss his most faithful ser- 
 vants if his dear helpmate dislike their phy- 
 siognomy. 
 
 XXI. THE life of man is interspersed with 
 numberless troubles. Even those that seem to 
 be the favourites of fortune have frequently to 
 struggle with secret sufferings, no matter whe- 
 ther they be real or imaginary, unmerited or 
 self-created. Very few wives have sufficient 
 spirits patiently to bear misfortunes, to give 
 good advice in time of need, and to assist their 
 husbands in bearing the burthens that must be 
 borne. Most of them add to the troubles of 
 their consorts by complaining unseasonably, by
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 225 
 
 talking incessantly of the state in which matters 
 might be, were the circumstances different from 
 what they are, or even sometimes by ill-timed 
 and unjust reproaches. If therefore it be any- 
 wise possible to conceal trifling misfortunes from 
 your wife (adverse incidents of an important 
 nature very seldom admit of it,) rather lock up 
 your uneasiness in your heart ! besides, it is no 
 consolation to a sensible man to make the object 
 of his tenderness a sharer in his sorrows ; and 
 who would not conceal his grief and expose him- 
 self singly to the storms of adversity, if the dis- 
 closure of his distress be not only useless, but 
 renders his burden more onerous ? But should 
 Providence involve you in great distress, or 
 afflict you with pungent pains which admit of 
 no concealment ; should the iron rod of unre- 
 lenting fate or powerful enemies persecute you, 
 oh ! then summon your whole firmness, and 
 endeavour to sweeten the bitterness of the cup 
 of misery which the faithful partner of your life 
 must empty with you ! Watch over your hu- 
 mour, lest you should add to the affliction of the 
 innocent ! Retire to your own apartment when 
 your heart grows too heavy, and there ease your 
 mind by prayer and giving vent to your tears. 
 VOL. i. Q
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 Strengthen and steel your heart by the aid of 
 philosophy, by confidence in GOD, hope and 
 wise resolutions, and then appear before your 
 consort with a serene countenance, to pour the 
 balsam of comfort in her soul. No misery in 
 this world is endless, and no pain so great as not 
 to admit of intervals of alleviation. A certain 
 heroism in the struggles against misfortune is 
 attended with a pleasure which makes us forget 
 the most pungent afflictions, and the conscious- 
 ness of liaving administered comfort and conso- 
 lation to others elevates our heart in an astonish- 
 ing degree, and conveys an unspeakable hilarity 
 to the mind. I am speaking from experience. 
 
 XXII. We have laid it down as a principle, 
 that a perfect harmony of thinking and temper 
 is no necessary requisite of matrimonial happi- 
 ness ; it cannot however be denied, that the 
 state of a married man is a very lamentable one, 
 if the wife take no warm interest at all in mat- 
 ters which appear important, and are interesting 
 to the husband. We are truly miserable if we 
 must look out among strangers for sympathizing 
 sharers in our innocent enjoyments and sor- 
 rows, and in every thing that occupies our mind 
 and heart. I pity the man whose phlegmatic
 
 OF SOCIAL H*E. 227 
 
 wife mixes water with every drop of joy which 
 the hand of rosy-coloured fancy administers to 
 his lips ; rousing him from every blissful dream 
 of happiness, returning frigid replies to his 
 wannest discourses, and destroying the fairest 
 creations of his imagination by her want of fel- 
 low-feeling. But what is to be done in such a 
 situation ? The best advice I can give to un- 
 fortunate husbands of this class is, to make use 
 of Job's specific, to abstain from moralizing, if 
 no amendment is to be expected, to be silent, if 
 his words make no impression, and to avoid all 
 opportunities that could occasion scenes which 
 might enrage him beyond measure, or expose 
 him to the danger of seeing his wife's stupi- 
 dity publicly ridiculed ! This will enable him 
 to enjoy, at least, a tolerable share of negative 
 happiness. 
 
 But what is to be done if Fate or our own 
 folly should have chained us for ever to a being, 
 who, on account of her moral defects or even 
 vices, is undeserving of the love and regard of 
 good people ; if our consort imbitter our life 
 by a morose and vicious temper, and distress us 
 by envy, avarice, or unreasonable jealousy ; or 
 if she render herself contemptible by a false 
 and artful heart, or be given to brutish lust and 
 
 u 2
 
 229 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 drunkenness ? I need not to observe that many 
 an honest man may be innocently involved in 
 such a labyrinth of v/oe, if love blind his youth- 
 ful judgment ; as the most vicious dispositions 
 are frequently concealed, in the bridal state, by 
 the most beautiful masks. It is also but too 
 well known that many a husband by imprudent 
 management occasions the shooting up of vices 
 and bad habits, the seeds of which lie concealed 
 in the heart of his wife. It would however lead 
 me too far from my purpose, were I to give 
 rules how to act in every individual situation of 
 this kind I shall therefore make only a few 
 general observations on that head. In situations 
 of such a nature we must pay particular regard 
 to the preservation of our own peace, to our 
 children and domestics, and to the public. 
 Concerning ourselves, I would advise every one 
 that is reduced to such a lamentable situation 
 not to have recourse to complaints, reproaches, 
 and quarrels, if he see that there be no hope 
 left of correcting his vicious consort, but to use, 
 with as much privacy as possible, such remedies 
 as reason, probity and honour shall point out as 
 the most efficacious. Act after a well-digested 
 plan, devised with as much coolness of temper 
 as possible. Ponder well whether a separation
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 be necessary, or by whatever other means you 
 can render your situation tolerable, if it cannot 
 be ameliorated, and do not suffer yourself to be 
 diverted from the prosecution of the measures 
 you have adopted by the semblance of amend- 
 ment or caresses. However, never degrade 
 yourself so far as to suffer your being tempted 
 by tlic heat of your temper to treat your con- 
 sort with harshness and severity ; for this would 
 be adding fuel to the flame, and render your 
 situation worse. Finally, perform your duties 
 with additional strictness the more frequently 
 your wife transgresses her obligations ; thus you 
 preserve a good conscience, which is the best 
 and firmest supporter in every misfortune. 
 With regard to your children, domestics and 
 the public, prudence bids you to conceal your 
 affliction as much as possible. Discord between 
 married people has always a bad influence on 
 the education of their children. Therefore, if 
 you cannot conceal your displeasure at your 
 consort's temper and conduct, the happiness of 
 your children requires you should separate your- 
 self from them, and intrust their education to 
 the skilful hands of a stranger rather than let 
 them be witnesses of your conjugal dissensions. 
 The domestics of a married couple, whose disr
 
 230 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 cord breaks out in open quarrels,, are but too 
 apt to revolt against the laws of subordination, 
 fidelity and candour ; parties are formed, and 
 talebearing is encouraged ; therefore carefully 
 avoid quarrelling with your wife in the presence 
 of your servants. If public dissensions prevail 
 among married people, the innocent party as 
 well as the guilty forfeits the regard of his fel- 
 low-citizens, which ought to put you on your 
 guard not to communicate your domestic mis- 
 fortunes to strangers. 
 
 XXIV. Officious friends, old women, aunts 
 and cousins are very apt to interfere on such 
 occasions. But suffer no person whatsoever to 
 intrude upon your domestic concerns without 
 your leave. Repel all such officious intruders 
 with manly firmness. People of a good dispo- 
 sition are reconciled without the interference of 
 a mediator, and upon malignant minds his best 
 efforts will have no influence. Pray that heaven 
 may not curse you with one of those antiquated 
 mothers in-law who pretend to know every 
 thing better than their children, and want to 
 direct under every circumstance though they 
 should be destitute even of common sense ; who 
 make it their business to breed and to keep up 
 quarrels, and to conspire with cooks, house-
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 231 
 
 keepers and chamber-maids to explore, out of 
 Christian charity, the secrets of your neighbours. 
 Should you however, unfortunately have ob- 
 tained such a baneful piece of furniture along 
 \vith your wife, I would advise your not omit- 
 ting, the first time she attempts to meddle with 
 your domestic affairs, to repel her pious service* 
 in such a manner as may terrify her from making 
 a second attempt of that nature ! But there are 
 also good and worthy mothers-in-law, who love 
 the consorts of their children with true ma- 
 ternal tenderness, give them the best advice, 
 and therefore ought to be esteemed a valuable 
 acquisition, and venerated as guardian angels or 
 a beloved and amiable wife. 
 
 Quarrels between husband and wife ought 
 generally to be settled by themselves ; or should 
 matters have proceeded too far, before the pro- 
 j>er courts of justice, all intermediate instances 
 arc dangerous, and all mediators and protectors 
 of the suffering party chosen from among 
 strangers do more harm than good. The hus- 
 band ought to be master in his own house, be- 
 ing thus ordained by nature and reason ! He 
 must by no means suffer this dominion to be 
 wrested from him, and even maintain his ground
 
 PBAfcTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 firmly when his wiser wife opposes her secret 
 power over his heart to his authority. 
 
 XXV. All these rules are, perhaps, appli- 
 cable only to persons of the middle class ; peo- 
 ple of high rank and great wealth are but rarely 
 susceptible of domestic happiness, live generally 
 on a very ceremonious footing with their con- 
 sorts, and therefore are in want of no other 
 rules but those which a polished education pre- 
 scribes ; and as they commonly have a system 
 of morals of their own, they will find in this 
 chapter but very little that suits them. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 Rules for Lovers and those that converse ivith 
 them. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 AT is difficult, if not impossible, to converse 
 reasonably with people who are in love ; they 
 are as unfit for social conversation as those who 
 are intoxicated ; they live only for their idol, 
 and care little or nothing for anything else. If
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 233 
 
 you cannot avoid frequenting their society, and 
 wish to live on an amicable footing with them, 
 you must carry with you a sufficient stock of 
 patience to be enabled to hear them talk of the 
 object of their tenderness without yawning ; 
 and you may be sure to gain their good opinion 
 if you can prevail upon yourself to show on such 
 occasions an interest for their concerns, or not 
 be provoked by their follies and eccentricities in 
 case their love should be kept secret, not watch 
 them, or appear to have any knowledge of their 
 passion, though the whole town be apprized of 
 the secret (which is often the case) and finally 
 not to irritate their jealousy. 
 
 This being all that I have to say on this sub- 
 ject, except a few collateral remarks, which I 
 beg leave to subjoin, viz. If you wish for a 
 judicious friend who is to assist you with his 
 advice, or to interest himself in your behalf 
 with firmness and unshaken diligence, you will 
 be sadly disappointed in choosing a person who 
 is in love. If on the contrary, you be desirous 
 to meet with a sympathizing and sentimental 
 friend, whom you expect to whine and sigh 
 with you, to lend you money without demand- 
 ing security, to subscribe to your works, to 
 assist you in relieving the distressed, in pacify-
 
 234 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ing an enraged father, joining you in the exe- 
 cution of some romantic prank, keeping you 
 company in your follies, or in applauding your 
 verses, you will undoubtedly do well to apply, 
 as occasion may require, either to a happy or 
 an unsuccessful lover ! 
 
 It would be useless to prescribe rules for 
 lovers how to act when they are in company 
 with the object of their tenderness ; as these 
 people are not often thoroughly collected, it 
 would be as great folly to demand of them an 
 observance of certain modes in their conversa- 
 tion with the object of their wishes, as it would 
 be to desire a madman to rage in verse; or a 
 person who has the tooth-ache to groan to 
 music. Yet surely something may be said, the 
 observation of which would prove salutary, could 
 it only be hoped that such people would pay 
 attention to the dictates of reason. 
 
 III. The first love creates astonishing re- 
 volutions in the manner of thinking and the 
 whole nature of man. A person who never was 
 in love can form no idea of the bliss which 
 the conversation of lovers affords them, while 
 those that have trafficked too long with their 
 heart lose all susceptibility for sensations of that 
 nature.
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 235 
 
 The first declaration of love produces most 
 wonderful effects. A person who has frequently 
 trifled with his heart, and been in love with dif- 
 ferent females, will not indeed find it difficult 
 to express his sentiments on a propitious op- 
 portunity, if he should feel inclined once more 
 to pay his devoirs at the shrine of Love ; and 
 the coquette knows well enough what answer 
 she must return on such an occasion : she pre- 
 tends at first not to believe that he is serious, 
 apprehends that the gentleman is going to di- 
 vert himself at her cxpence, that the reading of 
 novels has turned his brains, or if he urge his 
 suit with more importunity, and she thinks it 
 time for her to be convinced by degrees that he 
 is in earnest, she beseeches him in the first in- 
 stance to spare her weakness, and not to betray 
 her into a confession which would make her 
 blush ; then the enraptured lover offers to press 
 the sweet charmer to his heart, and protests he 
 is the happiest creature in the world, but the 
 offended fair one solemnly assures him that she 
 will never permit such liberties to be taken with 
 her, and very gravely reminds him that the 
 laws of probity and honour require that he should 
 spare her weakness, while she dispenses her fa- 
 vours with the most frugal ceconomy to enjoy
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 the pretty romance the longer ; and if nothing 
 will serve to protract the closing scene any fur- 
 ther, a quarrel is called to her assistance to put 
 off the happy moment in which the last favour 
 is to be granted. 
 
 People of this class, however, feel nothing at 
 all during their amorous dalliance, laugh at the 
 farce when they are by themselves, can calculate 
 with the greatest accuracy how far they shall 
 have advanced in a day or two, and enjoy a 
 sound and undisturbed sleep notwithstanding 
 the apparent cruelty of their charmer. 
 
 The case is different with two innocent hearts, 
 \vho, being warmed the first time by the genial 
 fire of love, wish to give vent to their blissful 
 and guiltless sensations, and yet cannot take 
 courage to declare by words what their eyes and 
 gestures have so frequently and plainly expressed. 
 The young man looks tenderly at the object of 
 his love. She blushes ; her looks betray an un.- 
 easy and flurried mind when he converses too 
 long or with too much apparent freedom with 
 another female ; indignation flashes in his 
 eyes, he scarcely can refrain from giving vent 
 to his anger, if with a smiling countenance she 
 whisper something to a stranger, and his every 
 action upbraids the thoughtless maid ; the re.-
 
 OF SOCIAL LlPfi. 237 
 
 proach is felt, immediate satisfaction is given ; 
 the offensive conversation is suddenly termi- 
 nated ; the reconciled lover thanks the atoning 
 fair one by a tender smile, and the clouds which 
 enveloped his brow are instantly dispelled by 
 cheerfulness, accompanied with the most lively 
 salliesof jocundity and good humour; assignations 
 are made by the eyes for the next day ; the lovers 
 mutually beg pardon, exculpate their conduct, 
 warn each other against the intrusion of ob- 
 servers, acknowledge their reciprocal rights 
 and nevertheless have not yet declared by a 
 single word what they feel for each other. Both 
 parties however arc anxious for an occasion of 
 coming to an explanation ; the long-sought op- 
 portunity offers at last, presents itself repeatedly, 
 and both suffer it to escape unimproved, or at 
 most only betray their sentiments by a tender 
 pressure of the hand, when a still more favour- 
 able unexpected occasion again offers itself, but 
 neither dare to utter their sentiments ; they are 
 thoughtful, doubt whether their Iqve be re- 
 turned, and tremblingly delay coming to an 
 ecclaircissementj although their passion be thefa- 
 ble of the whole town, and the object of the vilest 
 aspersion. When at length the timid confes-
 
 238 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 sion breaks from the quivering lips, and is re- 
 turned with stammering and half stifled words, 
 attended by a convulsive pressure of the hand 
 that thrills the inmost fibres of the heart, and 
 electrifies, as it were, the whole frame ; then 
 we begin first to live entirely for each other, 
 care little for all the world, are blind to the ob- 
 servations and deaf to the whispers of those that 
 are near us, are happy in every company where 
 the object of our tenderness is present, fear not 
 the frowns of misfortune by her side, suspect 
 not that sickness, poverty and oppression may 
 overtake us on the flowery path of love, are at 
 peace with all the world, and care not for the 
 comforts of life. You who have seen such 
 blissful times, say ! is it possible to dream a 
 sweeter, happier dream ? Is one of all the fan- 
 tastic joys of life so innocent, natural and harm- 
 less as this ? Can any other sensation render us 
 so unspeakably happy, so gay and peaceful ? 
 What a pity it is, that that blissful state -of in- 
 chantmcnt cannot last for ever, and that we are 
 awakened but too frequently and too terribly 
 from that Elisean trance ? 
 
 IV. In the matrimonial state jealousy is a 
 dreadful evil that destroys all peace and happi- 
 ness, and every quarrel may be attended with
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 fatal consequences ; whereas in love, jealousy 
 creates variety and additional relish : nothing is 
 sweeter than the moment of reconciliation after 
 short quarrels, and such scenes serve to cement 
 the union more strongly. Bat dreadful is the 
 jealousy of a coquette, and you ought to trem- 
 ble at the vengeance of a woman whose love 
 you have scorned, or for whom your heart has 
 ceased to be interested, if she continue to covet 
 the possession of your person, no matter whe- 
 ther she be actuated by wanton desires, vanity 
 or caprice ! She will persecute you with furious 
 ire, and no kindness on your part, no forbear- 
 ance, no secrecy with regard to your former 
 connexion, nor all the civilities which you pay 
 her in public will save you from the dire effects 
 of her frantic passion, particularly if she have not 
 learnt to fear von. 
 
 c 
 
 V. MYSOGYNISTS declaim loudly, that the 
 fair sex do not love half so faithfully and firmly 
 as man does ; that vanity, curiosity, delight in 
 romantic adventures, or the calls of sensual 
 wants are the onlv charms which attract them 
 to our sex, and that we can count on female 
 fidelity only while we can gratify one or the 
 other of these passions and propensities, as time 
 and occasion require ; while others are of a dii-
 
 24O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 ferent opinion, and paint in the most charming 
 colours the firmness, cordiality and fire of the 
 female heart which is animated with love. The 
 former impute to the fair sex a larger share of 
 sensuality and irritability than of nobler senti- 
 ments, and pretend that no married man ought 
 to believe his wife if she assure him that she 
 possesses a cool temper ; whereas the latter 
 maintain that the purest and most sacred love, 
 destitute of all sensual desire, nay even of pas- 
 sion, can animate only a female bosom in its 
 intire fulness. I leave those to decide on the 
 merits of this subject, that possess a greater 
 knowledge of the female heart than myself. I 
 shall not venture to give my opinion on this 
 delicate point, though I have been an attentive 
 observer of the other sex during a long and fre- 
 quent intercourse with them. Thus much how- 
 ever I can presume to maintain, without injury 
 to either sex, that men cannot pretend with any 
 colour of truth to surpass women in fidelity and 
 fulness of love. The history of every age 
 affords numerous instances of women who, 
 scorning all difficulties and dangers, were 
 attached with the most surprising and unshaken 
 firmness to their lovers. I know of no greater 
 felicity than that which flows from such a cordial
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 241 
 
 and unconquerable love. Thoughtless minds 
 are to be met with as well amongst men as 
 amongst women; the whole human race are 
 subject to the desire of change; new impres- 
 sions, produced by a superiour degree of ami- 
 able qualities, no matter whether they be real 
 or imaginary, can supplant the liveliest senti- 
 ments; but I am almost tempted to say that 
 instances of infidelity are more numerous 
 amongst men than amongst women, but are less 
 noticed and make less noise than those of female 
 inconstancy ; we are more difficult to be fet- 
 tered for ever than the other sex, and it would 
 indeed be an easy task for me to state the real 
 causes of this phenomenon, did not the scope of 
 the present work prevent me from discussing 
 this point. 
 
 VI. TRUE and congenial love enjoys secretly 
 the blessings which attend it, and refrains not 
 only from priding itself with favours received, 
 but also scarcely dares to acknowledge to itself 
 the whole extent of its happiness. That period 
 in which we have not yet disclosed our love by 
 words, though we understand the mystic mean- 
 ing of every glance and every look of the be- 
 loved object, affords the happiest moments of 
 congenial and pure felicity. Those joys are 
 
 VOL. t. R
 
 142 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 most enrapturing which we bestow and receive 
 without accounting for them to our under- 
 standing. The delicacy of our feelings fre- 
 quently prevents us from speaking of favours 
 which lose their greatest value, and can no 
 longer be reciprocated with propriety when 
 they are made subjects of discussion. We 
 grant silently what we are bound to refuse if it 
 be requested, or if it be visible that it is granted 
 premeditatedly. 
 
 VII. IN those years in which the heart is 
 but too apt to run away with the understanding, 
 many a thoughtless young man lays the founda- 
 tion of his future misery by a rash promise of 
 marriage. He recollects not in the trance of 
 love how serious and important such a step is, 
 and that this is the most difficult, dangerous 
 and indissoluble of all obligations which we can 
 take upon ourselves. He unites himself for 
 life with a being who appeared in his eyes 
 blended by passion, to be gifted with qualities 
 which experienceand the light of sober reason dis- 
 cover to him to have been merely delusory, when 
 too late he perceives that he has rendered him- 
 self unspeakably miserable by trusting to appear- 
 ances ; or he does not consider that such an 
 union adds to the wants, cares and labours of
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 243 
 
 life, and is forced to struggle by the side of a 
 beloved wife with want and sorrows, and 
 doomed to feel all the blows of adverse fate with 
 double force; or he breaks his promise, if his 
 eyes be opened before the indissoluble knot be 
 tied, and then he is tortured by the reproaches 
 of a polluted conscience But of what use are 
 sober advice and prudent counsel in the moment 
 of mental intoxication ? As for the rest, I refer 
 my readers to the XIV and XV sections of the 
 following chapter. 
 
 VIII. IP love and intimacy have attached 
 you to an amiable woman, and your bonds should 
 be dissolved either by adverse fate or incon- 
 stancy and fickleness on one part, or any other 
 cause, the laws of honour demand of you not to 
 act ungenerously after the connexion hasceased. 
 Do not suffer yourself to be tempted to take a 
 disgraceful revenge, nor to make an improper 
 use of letters and the confidence that was placed 
 in you. The man who is capable of aspersing 
 the character of a female who once was dear to 
 his heart, deserves the contempt of every honest 
 mind ; and how many who in other respects 
 are not over amiable, owe the favour to accom- 
 plished women, to approved discretion and deli- 
 cacy ! 
 
 R2
 
 244 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 On Conversation with the Fair Sex. 
 
 SECTION I. 
 
 XJEFORE we proceed further I must observe, 
 that the notice which I am bound to take of the 
 defects of the female character in general, is in 
 nowise meant to depreciate the numerous good 
 qualities which we discover not only in indivi- 
 duals, but also in the whole sex. To be silent in 
 respect of the former in order to give the greater 
 lustre to the latter is the practice of a venal flat- 
 terer, a part for which I profess myself wholly 
 unqualified. Most writers however, who speak 
 of the female sex, seem to be particularly solici- 
 tous to descant only on their defects, which 
 system likewise equally militates against my 
 purpose. An authour who writes on the con- 
 versation with men, cannot avoid glancing at 
 those defects which we must tolerate and spare 
 if we wish to preserve Social Happiness. Either 
 sex, every rank and age, and every individual 
 character is subject to a variety of defects which 
 are so intwined with his nature as to appear
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 245 
 
 inherent. The scope of this work requires I 
 should speak of them as far as my knowledge 
 renders me competent for the task ; and my 
 readers I presume will find that I am not blind 
 to the virtues which render the conversation 
 between men and women, old and young people, 
 the wise and the ignorant, the rich and the poor, 
 a source of pleasure and happiness ; nor that I 
 mean to praise or censure any class at the 
 expense of its opposite. Thus much by way 
 of preface to this subject. 
 
 II. NOTHING is more adapted to give the 
 last polish to the education of a young man than 
 the conversation with virtuous and accomplished 
 women. Their society serves to smoothe the 
 rough edges of our character and to mellow our 
 temper. In short, the man who has never been 
 connected with females of the better class is not 
 only deprived of many of the purest pleasures, 
 but also will have little success in Social Life ; 
 and I should not like to be connected by the 
 bonds of friendship with a man who has a bad 
 opinion and speaks ill of the female sex in ge- 
 neral. I have spent the happiest hours of my 
 life in the society of amiable women ; and if I 
 have any commendable qualities, or if after 
 having been deceived so frequently by men and
 
 246 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 fickle fortune, bitterness, vexation and resent- 
 ment have not expelled benevolence and love 
 from my soul, I owe the whole entirely to the 
 salutary impressions which female conversation 
 has made upon my mind. 
 
 III. WOMEN possess a peculiar facility in 
 discerning those men who sympathize with 
 them, feel interested in their conversation, and 
 can accommodate themselves to their tone. We 
 should be very unjust were we to maintain, that 
 personal beauty only can produce lively impres- 
 sions upon their minds ; the contrary being fre- 
 quently the case. I know young men of the 
 most striking personal appearance who are very 
 unsuccessful with the fair sex, while those whose 
 form is far from being handsome are great fa- 
 vourites with them. There is a peculiar method 
 of rendering ourselves agreeable to the sex, 
 which can be learnt only of themselves ; and 
 the man who is ignorant of it will never succeed 
 in ingratiating himself with them, how great so- 
 ever his personal and mental accomplishmentsbe. 
 There are men who shamefully abuse the power 
 which they possess of pleasing the ladies ; 
 those that are trusted with adult daughters, and 
 being allowed at all times free access to the un- 
 suspecting fair, having first acquired the sem- 
 1
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 247 
 
 blance and character of harmless creatures, arc 
 permitted to sport the most wanton jokes, and 
 frequently indulged with opportunities which 
 prove lamentable preludes to certain and bitter 
 repentance. The abuse of that art however 
 does not condemn its proper application. A 
 small tincture of female gentleness, though not 
 degenerating into unmanly weakness ; favours, 
 but neither so great nor so particular as to at- 
 tract public notice, or demand greater in return, 
 nor yet so private as to be overlooked, or not at 
 all valued ; polite marks of attention on trifling 
 occasions, which scarcely admit of thanks, and 
 consequently convey no obligation, seem to be 
 free from pretension, yet nevertheless are under- 
 stood and valued ; a kind of ocular language, 
 though very different from amorous ogling, 
 which is understood and felt by a tender and 
 sensible heart without requiring the assistance 
 of words ; a nice delicacy in displaying certain 
 .sentiments ; a free and open conversation, which 
 must never degenerate into impudent and vul- 
 gar familiarity ; at times a look of soft melan- 
 choly ; a certain romantic enthusiasm which 
 borders neither on the sentimental nor the ad- 
 venturous ; modesty without timidity ; intre- 
 pidity, courage and vivacity ; agility of body,
 
 248 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 skill, nimbleness and pleasing talents these, I 
 think, arc most conducive to gain us the favour 
 of the fair sex. 
 
 IV. THE consciousness of being in want of 
 protection, and the belief that man is a being 
 \vho can afford it, is also implanted by nature 
 in the mind of those women who have firmness 
 and resolution enough to protect themselves. 
 For this reason even ladies of a meek and gentle 
 disposition feel a kind of aversion from men 
 who are weak and infirm. They have the ten- 
 derest compassion for suffering people ; as for 
 instance for wounded or sick persons, but 
 habitual and lasting infirmities, which impede 
 the free use of bodily and mental faculties, will 
 undoubtedly deprive you of the affection of 
 even the most chaste and modest woman. 
 
 ^ V. THE ladies have frequently been ac- 
 cused of feeling a particular interest for liber- 
 tines and rakes. If this be true, I cannot see 
 why it should be so very reprehensible as many 
 seem to think. If the consciousness of their 
 innate weakness render them more tolerant than 
 we are, this does honour to their heart : how- 
 ever, it is but just to confess that we are actuated 
 frequently by envy to censure such happy cri~ 
 minals j whereas we arc secretly pleased with a
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 24Q 
 
 Lovelace, and other polished rakes, when we be- 
 hold them only on paper and on the stage. 
 The cause of this phenomenon originates, most 
 probably, in an obscure sensation, which tells us 
 that deviations of this sort require a certain acti- 
 vity and energy which always create interest. 
 As for the rest, it has been observed that most 
 ladies are tolerant only to handsome men and 
 ugly women. 
 
 ^ VI. I must also observe, that cleanliness 
 and elegance of dress serve very much to re- 
 commend us to the ladies, and that they are 
 very kecnsighted in discovering the smallest in- 
 attention in these particulars. 
 
 VII. AVOID paying homage in a similar 
 manner to several ladies at one time and in the 
 same place, if you be bent on obtaining the 
 affection and favour of an individual female ; 
 they will forgive us trifling acts of faithlessness, 
 nay, they will sometimes like us the better on 
 that account ; but at the moment in which we 
 are speaking to them of our sentiments, we must 
 feel what our lips utter and show that they are 
 the sole object and cause of our sensations. All 
 is over if they perceive that we address our ten- 
 der discourses to every woman who comes in
 
 25O PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHT 
 
 our way ; for they are desirous to possess our 
 affection undivided. 
 
 VIII. Two ladies who have pretensions of 
 the same nature, no matter whether they be 
 founded on beauty, learning, or any other ac- 
 complishment, agree but rarely in the same 
 company ; yet they may at times be recon- 
 ciled in some degree ; but if a third, who has 
 the same pretensions, should unfortunately join 
 their circle, we must give up all ideas of check- 
 ing the rising tempest, which inevitably M ill 
 break out on the slightest occasion. 
 
 Therefore, take particular care in the pre- 
 sence of a lady who pretends to superiour talents 
 or anything else of that nature, not to praise 
 another too much for the same accomplishments, 
 especially if the latter be a rival of hers. All 
 persons who are conscious of their internal merit 
 and have a desire to shine, particularly ladies, 
 are apt to wish to be admired exclusively, no 
 matter whether it be on account of beauty, 
 taste, talents, or any other superiour quality. 
 Therefore, never speak of the likeness which 
 you perceive in the lady with whom you are 
 conversing and her children, or any other per- 
 son. The ladies have sometimes singular
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 251 
 
 whims, and it is frequently difficult to know 
 what ideas they have of themselves, and how 
 they wish to look. One affects simplicity, in- 
 nocence and artlessness ; another presumes to 
 possess grace, a noble air and dignity of deport- 
 ment ; a third delights to be told that her 
 features express a great deal of meekness and 
 good nature ; another wishes to be thought 
 firm, manly and high-spirited ; one pretends to 
 look very sickly and nervous, while another re- 
 joices to be told that she has a healthy and fresh 
 appearance. This weakness is trifling and in- 
 nocent, and you will do well in accommodating 
 yourself to such singularities. 
 
 IX. MOST ladies wish to be constantly 
 amused, and an entertaining companion is fre- 
 quently received better by them than a worthy 
 and grave man whose conversation is graced 
 with wisdom, but who prefers being silent to 
 engaging in idle talk. No subject, however, 
 is more entertaining to them than their own 
 praise, if it be uttered in a proper manner. An 
 aged matron will not be angry with you if you 
 discover traces of former beauty in her features ; 
 and many a mother of adult children will not 
 deem it an offence to be mistaken for her 
 daughter. It is generally a dangerous matter
 
 252 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 to speak of the age of a lady, and if you be wise 
 you will not touch this subject at all. If you 
 know the art of giving them an opportunity of 
 appearing to advantage, your society will be 
 agreeable to them, though you should not be 
 able to amuse them much. But is not this the 
 case, more or less, with all men ? All mortals 
 are pleased to shine, but women in particular, 
 because we nourish their vanity from their in- 
 fancy, and but seldom give them an opportu- 
 nity of seeing their own defects in a proper 
 light. 
 
 X. CURIOSITY is a prominent feature of the 
 female character, and prudence requires we 
 should pay some attention to it in our conversa- 
 tion with the other sex, and endeavour to pro- 
 voke, to amuse and to satisfy it as circumstances 
 require. It is most singular to observe how far 
 this propensity sometimes will carry them. 
 Even the most compassionate of their sex have 
 frequently an irresistible desire to see scenes of 
 horror, executions, operations and the like, to 
 hear horrid stories and to view objects which 
 the firmer man cannot behold without aversion. 
 For this reason they are, in general, particularly 
 fond of reading such novels, and to see such 
 plays as are crowded with horrid incidents and
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 253 
 
 dreadful apparitions. For this reason some of 
 them have so strange a desire to explore the 
 secrets of others and to pry into the actions of 
 their neighbours, though malice, envy and 
 jealousy be not always the motive by which 
 they are actuated. Lord Chesterfield says; 
 " If you wish to ingratiate yourself with women, 
 " trust them with a secret !" He means, indeed, 
 only with one of no great importance. But 
 why only with a trifling one ? Are not many 
 women more discreet than men ? All depends 
 upon the object of the secret. 
 
 XI. EVEN the most excellent women are 
 more changeable in their humours and less con- 
 sistent at all times than men in general. This 
 arises from the greater irritability of their nerves, 
 which renders them easier to be affected, and 
 from the weakness of their frame, which exposes 
 them to many unpleasant sensations of which 
 we have no notion. Be not therefore asto- 
 nished, my friends, if you think, you do not 
 meet every day with the same degree of sym- 
 pathy and love in the object of your affection. 
 Bear patiently with these transient humours, 
 but take care not to intrude upon them in such 
 moments of irritability and ill-temper, to tor- 
 ment them with your wit or to offer unseason-
 
 254 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 able consolation. Endeavour to find out what 
 they like best to hear in every particular disposi- 
 tion of mind, and wait patiently for the moment 
 when they are sensible of the value of your in- 
 dulgence and forbearance, and disposed to atone 
 for their errors. 
 
 XII. The female sex sometimes find a cer- 
 tain pleasure in teazing others, and giving un- 
 easiness even to those persons who are dearest 
 to them. This also is the effect of their hu- 
 mour, and not of a bad and malignant dispo- 
 sition. If you bear these transient bursts of ill- 
 humour with patience and good-nature, and 
 are careful to avoid widening the trifling dif- 
 ference into a formal breach by passionate be- 
 haviour, the fair tormentor will-, soon atone for 
 the injuries which you suffer by additional 
 kindness, and you will obtain one claim more 
 to her affection. 
 
 XIII. In such and all petty contentions 
 and differences with the other sex we must yield 
 them the triumph of fhe moment, and be care- 
 ful of not exposing them to ridicule ; their va- 
 nity for this would never forgive us. 
 
 XIV. It is almost needless to repeat here 
 what has been asserted already so often, that 
 the resentment of an ill-tempered and malig-
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 255 
 
 nant woman is dreadful, cruel and extremely 
 difficult to be appeased. It indeed almost sur- 
 passes belief how expert such furies are in find- 
 ing out means to torment and persecute an ho- 
 nest man, by whom they conceive themselves 
 to have been offended, how implacable their 
 hatred is, and in how mean and degrading a 
 manner they sometimes satisfy their thirst for 
 vengeance. The author of this observation has 
 had the misfortune to experience this in a most 
 painful degree. A single thoughtless step of 
 his early youth, bv which the pride and vanity 
 of a woman, who had injured him first, were 
 offended, was the cause of his meeting with in- 
 surmountable difficulties and opposition where- 
 ever he afterwards was obliged, by his fate, to 
 apply for assistance and protection. The fiend- 
 like malignity of that woman instigated calum- 
 niators of the blackest cast to precede him with 
 the foulest aspersions, to oppose all his actions, 
 and to ruin every plan which he formed for the 
 benefit of his family. The greatest prudence 
 and circumspection were incapable to ward off 
 the effects of her hatred, and even his public 
 acknowledgment that he was sensible of the in- 
 jury which he had offered her, was insufficient 
 to reconcile her revengeful spirit. This impla-
 
 256 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 cable woman ceased not to persecute him, until 
 at last he resigned every thing that rendered the 
 assistance of others necessary, and confined 
 himself entirely to a domestic existence, of which 
 she cannot rob him. And that woman is a 
 princess, who has it in her power to render 
 thousands happy, and has been gifted by nature 
 with the most excellent abilities and uncommon 
 personal charms. 
 
 As for the rest, we observe in general, that 
 the weaker are always more cruel in their ven- 
 geance than the strong, because, perhaps, the 
 consciousness of that weakness renders the sense 
 of the injury which they suffer more acute, 
 and makes them more eager to find an oppor- 
 tunity of trying their strength, for once at 
 least. 
 
 XV. A PHILOSOPHICAL tFeatise of Professor 
 Meiners on the question, " Whether it be in 
 our power to fall in love, or to resist the influ- 
 ence of this passion at pleasure ?" leaves me 
 little room for hoping that I shall be able to 
 say anything new on the means which we must 
 use to preserve our liberty in . our conversation 
 with amiable women. Love, indeed, is a sweet 
 tormentor, which surprises us when we are least 
 aware of it, and in consequence commonly
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. 257 
 
 begin to counteract it when it is too late ; yet 
 it is but too often attended with bitter suffer- 
 ings and the ruin of all peace and happiness ; 
 for hopeless love is one of the most dreadful 
 evils, and external relations sometimes throw 
 insurmountable obstacles in the way even of 
 the noblest and tenderest inclinations ; it will 
 be useful, particularly for a person whom nature 
 has gifted with a lively temper and a warm ima- 
 gination, to endeavour to obtain a certain de- 
 gree of dominion over his sensibility and feel- 
 ings, and if he find himself unequal to the task 
 to flee the temptation. To be beloved and 
 incapable of returning love for love is extremely 
 distressing to a feeling heart ; it is a dreadful 
 situation to love without having any hope of 
 success ; and it is sufficient to fill the heart 
 with black despair when we are doomed to reap 
 infidelity and imposition for faithful and un- 
 bounded affection. The man who has found 
 out infallible means to obviate all this, has dis- 
 covered the philosopher's stone -I confess I 
 have not ; and know no other than timely 
 flight. 
 
 XVI. There are villains who have so little 
 regard for the virtue, probity and peace of their 
 fellow-creatures, as not to scruple seducing in- 
 
 VOL, i. S
 
 258 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 nocent and inexperienced girls by insidious 
 arts, or at least to delude them by false expecta- 
 tions, and even by the promise of marriage ; 
 thus procuring for themselves some moments of 
 transient gratification, but afterwards abandon 
 the unhappy victims of their sensuality, who on 
 their account declined every other connexion, 
 and are but too often ruined for life by the in- 
 famous duplicity of such unprincipled wretches. 
 The ignominy of such conduct must be obvious 
 to every one that has the least spark of love for 
 honour and justice left in his bosom ; and for 
 those that are entirely destitute of these feelings 
 I do not write. There is, however, another 
 kind of conduct, which in its consequences is 
 no less dangerous, though it be not equally 
 criminal in point of motive ; and I must beg 
 leave to address a few words of admonition to 
 my readers respecting the same. Many of our 
 sex are of opinion, that the conversation with 
 young ladies cannot be at all interesting unless 
 they flatter their vanity, or let their words and 
 gestures bespeak a certain degree of warmth 
 and affection. This serves not only to nou- 
 rish the already too great propensity of the 
 other sex to vanity, but also induces them to 
 mistake every peculiar degree of attention which
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 259 
 
 we show them for an offer of marriage. The 
 fop is not sensible of this, or if he should per- 
 ceive it is too thoughtless to reflect on the con- 
 sequences such an error may produce; he 
 relies upon the consciousness of having never 
 intimated such an offer in direct terms ; and 
 when he ceases paying his court to the deluded 
 fair one, she is rendered as unhappy as if he 
 had imposed upon her with the utmost preme- 
 ditation. The poor forsaken girl pines away 
 while disappointed hope rankles in her heart, 
 and the heedless and unthinking youth pays 
 similar addresses to others, without even suspect- 
 ting the mischief he has done. 
 
 Another class of men destroy the peace of 
 inexperienced females either by irritating their 
 curiosity and sensuality by wanton discourses 
 and a luxuriant wit, or heating their imagina- 
 tion by instilling into their mind romantic ideas, 
 diverting their attention from those objects with 
 which they ought to occupy themselves agreeably 
 to their calling, destroy ing their sense of domestic 
 felicity, or rendering a young and simple coun- 
 try girl dissatisfied with her situation by amusing 
 her imagination with a seducing picture of the 
 pleasures of a town-life. A& I do not write
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 merely to teach how we may be an agreeable, 
 but also how we must act to become an useful 
 companion, I conceive myself called upon by 
 my duty to warn against such conduct ; and 
 believe me, my young friends, all good and care* 
 ful parents will bless you, and cheerfully admit 
 you to their daughters ; nay, they will think 
 themselves happy in uniting their only child with 
 you if yon follow my advice, and thus ac- 
 quire the character of a prudent and conscien- 
 tious young man. 
 
 XVII. HERE I ought to say a few words 
 on the conversation with coquets and seducing 
 females; but as this subject presents a wide field 
 for observation, and having great reason to 
 apprehend that my labour would be attended 
 with little success, shall therefore be very con- 
 cise. The snares which a young man has to 
 dread are innumerable; and I advise my readers 
 to flee that class of females like the plague. 
 These reprobates are uncommon adepts in the 
 art of dissimulation, of lying with the greatest 
 impudence, and of affecting the most amiable 
 sentiments to gratify their vanity, sensuality, 
 vengeance or any other passion. It is extremely 
 difficult to discover whether a coquet loves 
 you really on your own account. Even the 
 3
 
 OF SOCIAL LIFE. l6l 
 
 most unequivocal instances of disinterestedness 
 are no certain proofs that such an abandoned 
 woman loves you sincerely. She rejects, per- 
 haps, your silver to obtain the easier possession 
 of yourself and your gold; or her temper renders 
 her more eager to gratify her sensuality than to 
 satisfy her thirst for lucre. Should she have 
 resisted many temptations to impose upon you 
 with safety, displayed a tender care for your 
 fame and honour, should she not only never 
 attempt prevailing upon you to break off other 
 more natural and honourable connexions, but 
 rcadiiy'sacrifice to you beauty, youth, gain, splen- 
 dour and vanity ; this would prove nothing else 
 but that even a coquet at times may possess 
 some good and amiable qualities, and prudence 
 would nevertheless demand you to be on your 
 guard and not to trust her too implicitly. A 
 woman who disregards chastity and modesty, 
 the first and most sacred of all female virtues, 
 cannot possibly have any regard for more delicate 
 duties. I do not however mean to degrade all 
 unhappy, fallen and seduced females to the 
 contemptible class of coquets and prostitutes. 
 True love can frequently call an erring heart to 
 virtue. It has been often maintained that a 
 ivoman who knows the danger from experience,
 
 2()2 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 is more difficult to be seduced than another who 
 has never been led into temptation ; however, 
 this kind of deviation renders sincere amend- 
 ment at all times very precarious, and no situa- 
 tion is more humiliating and distressing for a 
 sensible man, than to sec the person dear to his 
 heart despised by others, and to have reason to 
 blush at the bonds which are sucred to him and 
 constitute the happiness of his life. As for the 
 rest, pure and virtuous love is the best guar- 
 dian of our innocence, and the conversation 
 with chaste and accomplished women purifies 
 the juvenile sense for virtue, and arms the heart 
 of a young man against all studied and lustful 
 artifices of seducing females. I must observe 
 on this occasion, that it is extremely hard and 
 unjust, that men should scruple so little in excu- 
 sing all manner of libidinous excesses committed 
 by those of our own sex, while we are disincli- 
 ned to forgive the least deviation from the path 
 of virtue of which a person of the other sex is 
 guilty, who from their earliest youth are tempted 
 by our artifices to listen to the voice of sin, and 
 to give way to the powerful allurements of 
 seduction. 
 
 It is frequently maintained that every woman 
 can be seduced ; should this assertion be deemed
 
 OF SOCIAL LIPS. 26j 
 
 true ; or should we scout the idea as rank ca- 
 lumny ? It is but justice to confess, this can be 
 denied as little as that the virtue of every son of 
 Eve is liable to give way, if his weak side be 
 attacked, and internal as well as external cir- 
 cumstances come to the aid of the artful seducer. 
 But what does this prove ? It proves no more 
 than we all are frail vessels. If we at the same 
 time consider, that the senses of the other sex 
 in general are more irritable than ours, and if 
 we reflect upon the powerful charms of seduc- 
 tion, flattery, curiosity and vanity with which 
 they arc constantly beset, and that even the 
 smallest spot of that sort cannot escape obser- 
 vation, because they have no civil relation, and 
 cannot palliate their deviations by those higher 
 virtues which our situation and connexion with 
 the state enable us to exhibit, it would be highly 
 unjust not to have patience with them, or to 
 censure every false step into which they are be- 
 trayed by our sex with too much severity. But 
 let us dismiss this subject, and turn ourselves 
 to a higher class of females to the learned 
 ladies. 
 
 $ XVIII. I CANNOT but acknowledge that I 
 am always seized with a kind of shivering, 
 \s hen I am placed in company near a woman
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 who pretends to learning. It is to be wished 
 that the ladies would consider, that nothing 
 renders them more amiable and interesting 
 than to see them strictly adhere to the sim- 
 ple destination of nature, and anxious to dis- 
 tinguish themselves by a faithful performance 
 of the duties of their calling. What will it 
 avail them to attempt rivaling men in pursuits 
 for which they are unequal, and of which they 
 are frequently uninformed of the first rudiments, 
 which are inculcated into boys as soon as they 
 begin to use the faculty of reasoning. There 
 are ladies who very often put professed men of 
 learning to the blush by the penetration and 
 acuteness of their judgment, by their uncom- 
 mon talents, exquisite accomplishments, their 
 philosophical turn of mind and clearness of 
 expression and diction. But how small, compa- 
 ratively speaking, is the number of such ladies, 
 and how wrong, would it be to deduce from 
 these exceptions a general rule ! Besides it is an 
 indispensable duty of every friend to domestic 
 and Social Happiness, not to encourage midd- 
 ling female geniuses to aspire, at the expense of 
 their own felicity and that of others, at a height 
 which- so few of them are capable of attaining. 
 It undoubtedly is laudable in a lady to cndca-
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE, 1&5 
 
 your rendering her conversation and stile of 
 writing graceful by study and the assistance of 
 chaste and elegant literature ; but it certainly 
 cannot be inferred from this, that a woman is 
 to range through all the numerous branches of 
 learning. It ever creates pity if not disgust, 
 when we hear such infatuated pretenders to 
 learning boldly decide upon those important 
 subjects of erudition, which for centuries have 
 baffled the laborious study of the most eminent 
 of the literati, who have not been ashamed to 
 confess their being unable to comprehend them 
 perfectly ; and to hear an infatuated woman 
 decide upon them at tea-table, in the most 
 peremptory manner, while she scarcely has a 
 clear idea of the subject in question, cannot fail 
 exciting the strongest emotions of pity and con- 
 tempt. Nevertheless, the crowd of fops and 
 admirers pays the most extravagant applause to 
 the uncommon knowledge of the learned lady, 
 thereby confirming her in her unfortunate infa- 
 tuation. Thus being led to look upon the most 
 important concerns of her family, upon the edu- 
 cation of her children and the good opinion of 
 her unlearned acquaintances and connexions as 
 mere trifles, believing herself intitled to shake off 
 fhc yoke of domestic subordination, slighting
 
 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 all other women, rendering herself and her hus- 
 band odious, and dreaming incessantly of ideal 
 worlds, her imagination opposes the dictates of 
 sound reason, and all the domestic affairs are 
 thrown into disorder and confusion ; the vic- 
 tuals are brought upon table cold or half raw; 
 debts are heaped upon debts ; the, poor husband 
 must go abroad with torn stockings; when he 
 pants for the enjoyment of domestic pleasures, 
 his learned helpmate entertains him with quota- 
 tions from pamphlets, magazines and reviews^ 
 or presses him to listen to a recital of her lame 
 verses, and reproaches him severely with being 
 insensible of the inestimable value of the trea- 
 sure which to his torment he is blessed with. 
 
 I hope the candid reader will not tax me with 
 having drawn this picture with too mnch aspe- 
 rity. Amongst the fifteen or twenty authoresses 
 who make the press groan from time to time 
 with the productions of their pens, I know of 
 scarcely half a dozen who being confessedly 
 geniuses of a superior class, have a real calling 
 to cultivate the field of literature ; and these 
 ladies are so amiable, neglect their domestic du- 
 ties so little, and are so sensible of the ridiculous 
 behaviour of their half-learned sisters, as to give 
 ttie sufficient reason to be persuaded, that they
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 will not think themselves pointed at or offended 
 by the picture which I have delineated in the 
 antecedent lines. 
 
 But may it not also be said of the authours of 
 our sex, that but few of the great number of our 
 present writers have a real claim to excellency ? 
 Undoubtedly ! But we must observe, that some 
 allowance ought to be made to the latter, as 
 they may be misled by a desire for fame or gain, 
 which cannot well be admitted as an excuse for 
 the former, when they, with indifferent talents 
 and destitute of sufficient knowledge, venture 
 on a career which neither nature nor the civil 
 constitution has assigned to them. As for the 
 conversation with ladies who pretend to learn- 
 ing, it is obvious that if this claim be founded 
 on solid erudition, it must be extremely pleasant 
 and instructive ; but concerning those that 
 intrude themselves upon the republic of litera- 
 ture, notwithstanding their poverty of spirit, I 
 can give no better advice than to have patience 
 with their deplorable infatuation, and to take 
 care not to controvert their bold assertions by 
 arguments, or to attempt reforming their taste 
 if you cannot demean yourself so much as to 
 encrcase the servile herd of their admirers. 
 
 XIX THE female sex possess in a much 
 1
 
 268 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY 
 
 higher degree than we do the gift of concealing 
 their real thoughts and sentiments. Even ladies 
 of less refined faculties are sometimes uncom- 
 mon adepts in the art of dissimulation. There 
 are instances in which this art affords them pro- 
 tection against the snares with which they are 
 beset by unprincipled men. The seducer may 
 be certain of succeeding when he sees that the 
 heart or sensuality of the ladies league with him 
 against their own principles ; it would therefore 
 be unjust to censure them for appearing some- 
 times different from what they really are ; yet 
 we ought not to overlook this in our conversa- 
 tion with the fair sex. We should be frequently 
 mistaken were we to believe that they are 
 always indifferent to those whom they treat 
 with visible coolness, or that they are at all times 
 particularly interested for others whom they 
 seem to distinguish, and with whom they con- 
 verse familiarly in public. They have fre- 
 quently recourse to that artifice for no other 
 purpose than concealing the real state of their 
 heart, and sometimes it is only the effect of 
 their humour or obstinacy, or intended merely 
 to torment a little the object of their affection, 
 To decypher the character of a woman com- 
 pletely requires a profound study of the female
 
 OP SOCIAL LIFE. 
 
 heart, a long intercourse with the most accom- 
 plished persons of the sex ; in short, more than 
 the scope of these sheets permits me to say. 
 
 XX. I shall not enlarge upon the precau- 
 tion which the conversation with antiquated co- 
 quets requires ; nor shall I say anything with 
 regard to the prudes and devotees with whom a 
 man, as I am told, may take greater liberties in 
 private than in company, and with whom a. 
 close and entcrprizing man, as the wicked world 
 pretends, succeeds best. I shall also not say 
 anything of those antiquated gossips who, out 
 of mere charity and piety, expose the character 
 of their neighbours and acquaintances from time 
 to time, and consequently whom we must not 
 provoke I shall be silent about females of that 
 description, because I should be sorry to chal- 
 lenge the resentment of these good ladies, and 
 take this opportunity of declaring that I do not 
 believe a word of the calumnies with which a 
 wicked world asperses their immaculate honour. 
 
 XXI. Before I conclude this chapter, I beg 
 leave to say a few words more on the happiness 
 which flows from the conversation of good and 
 accomplished women. I have already observed, 
 that I owe to the conversation with them the 
 happiest hours of my life, and, indeed, I have
 
 270 PRACTICAL PHILOSOPHY, &C. 
 
 reason to acknowledge it. Their tender sensi- 
 bility, their ability to divine and comprehend 
 every thing so quickly, to read the sentiments 
 of the heart in the countenance ; their nice 
 sense of those little favours which contribute 
 so much to sweeten life, their charming and 
 artless wit, their frequent and uncommonly just 
 judgments, unbiassed by learned, systematic 
 and prejudiced opinions ; their inimitably ami- 
 able humour, interesting even in its ebbs and 
 floods ; their patience in long and painful suf- 
 ferings, though they should in the first moment, 
 when the affliction comes upon them, distress 
 their consorts by complaints; the gentleness with 
 \\hich they comfort, nurse and forbear ; the in- 
 nocent loquacity and frankness with which they 
 enliven society all this I know and esteem ; 
 and which ought, I think, to convince the candid 
 reader, that the few observations I was bound 
 to make to the disadvantage of some of the 
 fair sex, did not originate in censoriousness or 
 malice. 
 
 END OP THE FIRST VOLUME.
 
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