UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SAN DIEGO 3 1822019432780 LlBRy UNI VI 5AN DIEi UNVERSTYO CAUFOHNIA, SAN RIB3O 3 1822 01943 2780 A. B O O 1C FOR GIRLS. THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN; O R, l&lmmts 0f DBAWN FROM THB LIFE OF MART LTON AKD <%r Similar Characters. BY WILLIAM M.-THAYER, AUTHOE OF "POOE BOT," "MOBlflWO STAB," ETC. BOSTON: GOULD AND LINCOLN, 59 WASHINGTON STREET. NEW YORK: SHELDON AND COMPANY. CINCINNATI: GEORGE S. BLANCHARD. 1866. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1858, by GOULD AND LINCOLN, In the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the District of Massachusetts. PREFACE. THIS volume is a companion for "THE POOR BOY AND MERCHANT PRINCE," designed for girls from ten to eighteen years of age, although persons of any age will find counsels and facts upon its pages to guide and cheer them in the work of life. / The plan of the book is similar to that of its companion. MAKY LYON is the leading character, around which are grouped a large number of incidents from the lives of other distin- guished women, both for the purpose of illustrating certain elements of female character, and of making the book more attractive to the young. Miss Lyon was not a perfect woman, and therefore she is not a perfect model for girls. Yet sha possessed a rare combination of qualities, such as are indis- pensable to a high order of character, and which will secure a good degree of success to any girl who will really imitate her, 3 IV PREFACE. whatever may be her sphere of effort. It is believed that girls, no less than boys, must possess certain elements of character, if they would succeed in the stations they occupy. These ele- ments are found in Mary Lyon, and other women to whom reference is made on these pages. Much has been written for boys concerning the way to suc- cess ; but little has been penned for girls, as if they had noth- ing to do with the subject. But if there is such a thing as success in forming character, and in housekeeping, mantua- making, teaching music, learning, and the multitude of other matters that claim the attention of women, then the subject is as important to them as to boys. The author hopes that the volume will assist girls in culti- vating the highest virtues, and in prosecuting the work of life with credit to themselves, and acceptance to God. W. M. T. - CONTENTS. L**! A II CHAPTER I. SUNRISE AND SUNSET. THE MOUNTAIN-HOME A DEATH -SCENE LAST WORDS OF THE DYING FATHER LITTLE MARY A CLOUD UPON HER RISING BUN THE LONELY WINTER MARY'S WORDS FORTY YEARS AF- TER A PRAYING MOTHER EARLY ADVANTAGES A DEATH- SCENE AT MOUNT HOLYOKE FEMALE SEMINARY UNIVERSAL SORROW WORDS OF A MONTREAL LADY EULOGY OF PRINCESS CHARLOTTE APPLIED WORDS OF DR. HUMPHREY OF DR. HITCHCOCK HER GRAVE AND MONUMENT LITTLE MARY OF 1802, AND MARY LYON OF 1849 HER RISING AND SETTING SUN HOW DID SHE SUCCEED? IMPORTANT FOR GIRLS TO KNOW, . 19 CHAPTER II. - :' ; ". . :i. .1 vsAa: ITS CHARM CONCEDED BY ALL NATIONS SAMARITAN AND SYR- IAN LADIES VIEWS OF WRITERS JAMES DR. ALCOTT BOLDNESS DESTROYS FEMALE INFLUENCE WOMEN OF THE BIBLE MARY LYON WAS MODEST AN UNASSUMING SCHOLAR A HUMBLE WOMAN THE DAUGHTER OF DR. BUMEY MRS. FOLK .WIFE OF JOHN ADAMS MOTHER OF WASHINGTON, 108 CHAPTER X. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. MARY LYON'S PUPIL ON A JOURNEY HER CONSCIENTIOUSNESS THE RESULT OF HER TEACHER'S COUNSELS MARY LYON'S EXAMPLE CONSCIENTIOUS IN GIRLHOOD MARY LYON CON- SCIENTIOUS IN DRESS, IN KEEPING THE SABBATH A BEAUTI- FUL TRAIT HELEN WALKER INSCRIPTION ON HER MONUMENT GENTEEL LYING A WIFE'S NOBLE STAND FOR THE SABBATH ITS BENEFITS, _.."*,. ( . . 119 CHAPTER XI. MENTAL CULTUKE. FENELON DR. SPRING AND DR. OSGOOD SHOWING DEFECTS IN EDUCATION OF GIRLS ACCOMPLISHMENTS THE RAGE " SHOW- ING OFF" MIND CLAIMS RESPECT DAUGHTER OF MITCHELL THE ASTRONOMER SCHOOLS WHERE THEY ONLY STUDY AND RECITE MERCHANT'S WIFE, AND A POOR SPELLER DAUGH- TERS OF THE RICH AND POOR MISS EDGEWORTH AND HAN- NAH ADAMS MISS HERSCHEL, MARY DWIQHT SELF-CUL- TUREABIGAIL ADAMS GRADUATES OF OUR SEMINARIES CULTURE OF THINKING FEW INVENTIONS BY WOMEN SELF- CULTURE READING MARIA ANTOINETTE BAD INFLUENCE OF NOVELS POLLOK. HOW GIRLS SHOULD READ, . . 128 X CONTENTS. , CHAPTER XII. POLITENESS. MARY LYON POLITE HER POLITENESS AN INCIDENTAL QUALITY NEVER MAKE IT A DISTINCT ACT IMPROVEMENT OF MIND AND HEART -* GIRLS TOO OFTEN AFFECTED AND NOT PO'LITE AN EXAMPLE IMPOLITENESS OF "POLITE LADIES" A LADY IN THE CONGREGATION A CASE IN PHILADELPHIA A FEMALE IN THE OMNIBUS WHAT IS TRUE POLITENESS HERE WORDS OF ANOTHER, 144 CHAPTER XIII. VANITY. GIRLS DISPOSED TO BE VAIN THE WORLD A VANITY FAIR ONE VAIN OF BEAUTY, ANOTHER OF DRESS ANECDOTE BY HOWITT HOW PARENTS TEACH VANITY WHAT L'AIME MAR- TIN SAYS OF FRANCE TRUE OF AMERICA LINES OF POLLOK REMARKS OF DR. MAGOON VANITY HINDERS SUCCESS BY DWARFING THE MIND EXAMPLE OF PRINCESS CHARLOTTE THE SHAWL WORTH THREE THOUSAND GUINEAS JOSEPHINE CORNELIA, THE MOTHER OF THE GRACCHI REMARKS OF KOLLIN VANITY A WEAKNESS AND SIN. .... 151 CHAPTER XIV. FASHION. CECIL DEVOTION TO FASHION THE DAUGHTER OF HENRY LAURENS MARY LYON ON "WEARING THIN SHOES AND COT- TON HOSE" GIRLS KILLING THEMSELVES FOR FASHION TESTIMONY OF PHYSICIANS DR. COGAN A WASTE OF TIME A LADY AT A HOTEL WHAT MRS. OSSOLI SAW FASHION ENGENDERS SELFISHNESS SICK ROOM AND BALL ROOM SAC- RIFICES MADE FOR FASHION OF MONEY AND LABOR TOR- URES ENDURED FOR IT, AS EARS BORED, FEET PINCHED, BODIES SQUEEZED AFRICAN WOMEN THE CHINESE INHABITANTS OF NEW GUINEA FASHION A BARRIKB TO SUCCESS, . . 160 CONTENTS. XI CHAPTER XV. DRESS. CONNECTION WITH TWO PRECEDING CHAPTERS MART LYOTT Oil THIS SUBJECT DR. HITCHCOCK'S REPRESENTATION OF HEB VIEWS HER VIEW LIKE HANNAH MORE'S AND REV. JOHN NEW- TON'S OBJECT OF DRESS EXTRAVAGANCE THE BANKRUPT A BOSTON LADY'S LACE BILL COSTLY LEVEES GIVEN BY THIS CLASS POORER CLASSES IMITATE RICH A POET'S DESCRIP- TION FEMALES IN ALL AGES AND NATIONS FOND OF DRESS THE KAREN LADY WITH FIFTEEN NECKLACES THE PATAGONI- AN FEMALES BOY BOUGHT FOR A BUTTON EXAMPLE OF KINGS AND QUEENS COURT SUIT WORTH $400,000 NECKLACE GIVEN TO VICTORIA'S DAUGHTER COST $20,000 QUEEN ELIZABETH'S THREE THOUSAND DRESSES A FASHIONABLE WOMAN AND HER TWENTY-EIGHT TRUNKS DRESS PROVES A SNARE CONTRAST WITH A LADY AT WASHINGTON FRANCES MCLELLAN THE SCRIPTURES REMARKS OF REV. ALBERT BARNES LINES, 171 CHAPTER XVI. A LADY. LADY, AN ABUSED TERM THE GAY AND FOOLISH CLAIM IT SOME APPLY IT TO FEMALES INDISCRIMINATELY WHO IS A LADY? GIRLS THINK SOME NEEDFUL LABOR IS NOT LADY- LIKE GENTEEL TO BE IGNORANT OF HOUSEWORK THE WO- MAN WHOSE PASTOR CALLED TO SEE HER SOME YOUNG LADIES NEVER SEEN IN KITCHEN-GARB MAN WHO MARRIED A BEAUTY, AS RELATED BY ARTHUR WAS SHE MORE LADY- LIKE FOR -NOT KNOWING HOW TO COOK A DINNER? ALEXAN- DER'S SISTERS C, -:8AR'8 WIFE THE WIFE OF COLLATINUS ^OF TARQUIN M VDAME ROLAND MRS. WASHINGTON AND VISIT OF LA1AYETT THE WIFE OF GENERAL WASHINGTON VISIT AND CONFESSION OF MRS. TROUPE WIFE OF GOVERNOR CRITTENDEN ALL THESE WERE LADIES, YET PERFORMED HOUSEWORK MARY LYON A MODEL HER WORDS AND PRAC n CONTENTS. TIOI LIKE SOLOMON'S TRUE LADY A GIRL'S EDUCATION DE- TECTIVE WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF HOUSEWORK KING JAMES AND THE LITERARY UlilL LINKS OF MONTGOMERY, . . 184 CHAPTER XVII. A BEAUTIFUL FACE. LITERARY WOMEN HOMELY BEAUTIFUL FEMALES VAIN HYPA- TIA ANNA COMNENA MADAM DE STAEL MADAM NECKER, MARY LYON, AND JOHN WILKE8 LATTER TALK AWAY HOME- LINESS IN FIVE MINUTES BEAUTY HAS ITS PLACE BEAUTY- WORSHIP TO BE CONDEMNED GIRLS WHO ADORE IT UNFIT POR NOBLE THINGS THE YOUNG LADY WITH SMALL-POX QUEEN ELIZABETH HAD MIRRORB REMOVED A USELESS BELLE LIKE JAPANESE FEMALES AND THOSE OF GREENLAND A FATHER'S COUNSEL TO A HANDSOME SON AND HOMELY DAUGH- TER SHOULD BE HEEDED, . 197 CHAPTER XVIII. A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. VARY LYON'S HEART-QUALITIES HER SYMPATHY AND BENEVO- LENCE AIDED HER GIRLS IN GETTING EDUCATION THE COL- LEGE STUDENT HER TEACHINGS ON BENEVOLENCE THE GIRL'S 8PEXDING-MONEY THE FARM IN NEW YORK BENEVO- LENCE OF GOSPEL HER CONTROLLING PRINCIPLE FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE IN THE CRIMEAN WAR EDUCATED BY HER PA- KENT8 IN BENEVOLENCE WIFE OF JOHN HOWARD A LADY'S PAINTINGS GIVEN TO CHARITY QUEEN ANNE BOLEYN TWO SISTERS WHO EARNED ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR MISS LYON DORCAS ALL HAD BEAUTIFUL SOULS ORNAMENTS OF THE SPIRIT WAYS OF DOING GOOD RELIEVING THE POOR IN 8ABSATH SCHOOL THE SEWING-CIRCLE TEMPERANCE CAUSE MISSIONARY WORK SUCH EFFORTS WIN CONFIDENCE THE HERMIT AND HIS WELL, 203 CONTENTS. CHAPTER XIX. U SE F ULNE S S . MANY GIRLS HAVE LITTLE IDEA OP IT MISS I/TON'S LETTER MINISTEK'8 DAUGHTER LETTER TO HEE SISTER SOME GIRLS AS USELESS AS POSSIBLE CAN EMBROIDER, BUT NOT MAKE A DRESS OR PIE WHAT IS IT TO BE USELESS? AN OPPORTUNITY A USEFUL GIRL PUBLIC GRIEF AT THE DEATH OF MRS. VAN NESS THE EULOGY " SHE WAS USEFUL," AND " SHE WAS ACCOM- PLISHED " GIRLS SHOULD AIM TO BE USEFUL IF THEY WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL, "... 217 CHAPTER XX. AMUS EMENTS. KISS LYON'B VIEWS OP AMUSEMENTS SCRIPTURAL LOVB Of AMUSEMENTS DESTROYS USEFULNESS LOVERS OP PLEASURE ARE TRIFLERS AMUSEMENTS EXTINGUISH SERIOUS THOUGHTS THE YOUNG INQUIRER AND THE DANCE TESTIMONY OF FRAN- CES M'LELLAN PLEASURE-SEEKING GIRLS ASSOCIATE OFTEN WITH YOUNG MEN OF BAD CHARACTER MANY INTEMPERATK YOUNG MEN ONE OP THIS CLASS ON HER DEATH-BED TESTI- MONY OF HER PHYSICIAN THESE EVILS SHOW BAD INFLU- ENCE OP POPULAR AMUSEMENTS THESE SHOULD BE AVOIDED RECREATION NECESSARY, BUT NOT AMUSEMENTS PLEASURE NEVER TO BE SOUGHT FOR ITS OWN SAKE PRINCIPLE THB RULE OF ACTION, AND PLEASURE THE RESULT CLEOPATRA DISSOLVED AND DRANK A JEWEL WORTH $375,000 TO THE HEALTH OF MARK ANTONY .MANY GIRLS MAKE GREATER SACRIFICE OF 80UL, .-..." 223 CHAPTER XXI. CONVERSATION. MUCH TIME SPENT 13* CONVERSATION REMARKS OF OB. PEA- BODY AW ACCOMPLISHMENT USELESS TALK REMARK: O XIT CONTENTS. HANNAH MORE "WHAT WOMEN TALK ABOUT" MILTON AND HIS DAUGHTERS BEN JON8ON AUTHOR OF " YOUNG WOMAN'S FRIEND " SOCIETY IN ITALY THE OLD LADY'S JUDGMENT EMPTY VESSELS KNOW HOW TO KEEP SILENCE OPINIONS OF CICERO AND LORD BACON THE MEETING OF GRECIAN PHILOS- OPHERS EXTRAVAGANT EPITHETS FEMININE SWEARING GOSSIP ELIZABETH BURNETT COUNSEL OF THE BIBLE THE YOUNG EDUCATED BY CONVERSATION THE GRACCHI MARY LYON A GOOD EXAMPLE REMARK OF DR. HITCHCOCK, . 233 CHAPTER XXII. INDUSTRY. OTIDO'S PICTURE MARY LYON AN EXAMPLE OF INDUSTRY MODE OF RECREATING BOYS MORE INDUSTRIOUS THAN GIRLS A FABLE INFLUENCE OF INDUSTRY ON THE HEART WORDS OF BISHOP HALL GREAT WASTE OF TIME AMONG GIRLS AN ESTIMATE REMARK OF BISHOP TAYLOR RESULT IF ALL WERE INDUSTRIOUS THE CHINESE EMPEROR A DAUGHTER WHO AIDS HER MOTHER TEXTS OF SCRIPTURE, . . 246 CHAPTER XXIII. SPAKE MOMENTS. SIRLS HAVE MORE SPARE MOMENTS THAN BOV8 THREE HTTNDRED AND SIXTY-FOUR THOUSAND PAGES IN TE: ,' YEARS THE POOR WIDOW GIRLS OF SIMILAR SPIRIT DO Mi CH TIME GIVEN TO NEEDLE-WORK, MUSIC, PAINTING, ETC. ' HE STUDIOUS YOUTH, AND ONE HOUR A DAY ELIZABETH OR.-' Y, WIFE OF RICHEST MAN IN MASSACHUSETTS WHAT IS 8EF .' IN EVERY COMMU- NITY THE LIGHT BOAT AND GAY LADY - WISHING FOR PLEAS- URE REMARKS OF DR. ALCOTT MAR," LYON ON WASTING/ TIME SEVEN WAYS OF MISSPENDING rTUIE HER EXAMPLE GOOD, . 256 2 CONTENTS. , XV CHAPTER XXIV, OBDER. A PERT YOUNG MISS MANY GIRLS LIKE HER ORDER IN LITTLJ5 THINGS A DISORDERLY GIRL DESCRIBED THE SYSTEMATIC GIRL DESCRIBED NEVER HURRIED ORDER NECESSARY TO INDUSTRY AND ECONOMY OP TIME ALL GOOD BUSINESS MEN ADOPT IT LEAST OF IT IN HOUSEHOLDS A SCENE THE WOMAN WHOSE HOUSE IS IN CONFUSION MK8. PRIOR MRS. SUSANNA BENSON MARY LYON IN EARLY AND LATER LIFE ORDER IN HER SEMINARY, . 266 CHAPTER XXV. PUNCTUALITY. j PUNCTUALITY NECESSARY TO ORDER WANT OF PUNCTUALITY A GENERAL EVIL WOMAN WHO LOST HER PLACE THROUGH TAR- DINESS THE LOWELL MOTHER VISITING BOSTON ONE MINUTE TOO LATE FEMALES LESS PUNCTUAL THAN MALES THE TARDY SCHOOL GIRL RISING EARLY WRITING LETTERS TWELVE O'CLOCK PRECISELY RULES OF GENTILITY UNFAVOR- ABLE TO PUNCTUALITY THE COUNTESS OF BURFORD MARY LYON EVER PUNCTUAL REMARKS OF DR. HITCHCOCK NOT PUT OFF TILL TO-MORROW WHAT CAN BE DONE TO-DAY AMUS- ING DREAM HER COUNSEL TO PUPILS ABOUT PUNCTUALITY ^-NAPOLEON AND THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO, . . . 275 CHAPTER XXVI. FRUGALITY. DIALOGUE BETWEEN TWO GIRLS REPRESENTATIVES OF TWO CLASSES HABIT OF WASTING REMARK OF SUPERINTENDENT OF BONNET MANUFACTORY SECRET OF MANY MEN'S POVERTY XVI , CONTENTS. 8AVIirO TO HOARD. AN EVIL MRS PRIOR MISS DIX AMD HER AGED FATHER MAROARET BOUDET AND HER NIECES MARY LYON HER REMARKS ON T11I8 VIRTUE ITS GENERAL INFLUENCE ON CHARACTER ONE OF THE PRINCIPLES THAT REGULATED MOUNT HOLYOKE SEMINARY THE GIRL WHO 18 NOT WASTEFUL OF PINS WILL BE FRUGAL IN GREATER MAT- TERS, 284 CHAPTER XXVII. t.l' SELF-RELIANCE. SELF-RELIANCE OF MARY LYON THE RICH AND POOR MAN'S DAUGHTER MADAME DE GENLIS WANT OF THIS A FAULT OF MODERN FEMALE SOCIETY REMARK OF FREEDLEY GET- TING WELL MARRIED THE DAUGHTER WHO RELIED UPON HER MOTHER, AND NOT UPON HERSELF THE OLD MAN'S BRIDE SELF-RELIANCE FITS GIRLS FOR VICISSITUDES REVERSES FRE- QUENT MRS. BLEEKER WIVES OF DRUNKARDS THE YOUNG MERCHANT'S WIFE IN PHILADELPHIA THE CLERGYMAN'S WIDOW AND FOUR CHILDREN THE MERCHANT'S WIDOW AND THREE CHILDREN THE WISE MERCHANT'S DAUGHTERS, AS RE- LATED BY ARTHUR THE MOST PROSPEROUS BECOME POOR MARIA ANTOINETTE NAPOLEON'S MOTHER ANNALS OF CRIME A SAD STORY SELF-RELIANCE NECESSARY TO SYMMETRY OF CHARACTER APPEAL TO THE READER, .... 294 CHAPTER XXVIII. DECISION. THE MOON AND HER MOTHER CONNECTION WITH BELF-RELIANCB PRINCESS OF ORANGE GIRLS THAT SAY " NO " DECISION NECESSARY TO THE IMPROVEMENT OF TIME HOW MARY LYON TAUGHT PUPILS DECISION TEMPTATION TO WASTE TIME IN BED HERSELF A PATTERN OF FELLOWSHIPPING YOUNG MEN OF DOUBTFUL CHARACTER DECISION OF RUTH NOT IMPOSSI- BLE TO CULTIVATE IT THE FATHER WHO COULD NOT DECIDE FOR WHICH SON TO DIE REMARK OF WILLIAM WIRT, . 306 . CONTENTS. CHAPTER XXIX. PEE SEVERANCE. REMARK OF MADAME NECKER THIS QUALITY NECESSARY HT MINOR DUTIES NECESSARY TO ENERGY AND GENERAL STRENGTH OF CHARACTER PERSEVERANCE OF MARY LYON MADE HER A TEACHER AND POUNDER OP MOUNT HOLYOKE SEMINARY TESTIMONY OP DR. HITCHCOCK STICKING TO A THING HAN- NAH MORE, AND HER LABORS IN A WICKED COMMUNITY THE WIFE OP DR. JOHN KITTO ALL NEED THE QUALITY LINES OF A POET, . ....... 314 CHAPTER XXX. . wj: .'.: ; :m> SELF-POSSESSION. tsi'iil vtA. MISS LYON'S PRESENCE OP MIND SPRINGING FROM DECISION AND SELP-RELIANCE THE YOUNG LADY AND FRACTIOUS HORSE THE CHILD ON FIRE THE PLEASURE PARTY CHILD SEIZED WITH CONVULSIONS SELF-POSSESSION WOULD HAVE BEEN VAL- UABLE IN ALL THESE CASES MRS. DAVIESS OF KENTUCKY THE SCHOOL-HOUSE ON PIRE WOMAN^WHO SHOT THE ROBBER IN ASHLAND, MASS SUITED TO PEMALE CHARACTER SOME GIRLS THINK TIMIDITY IS LADY-LIKE SELF-POSSESSION OF THE CHRISTIAN DIVINE WORDS, . . . " . . 322 CHAPTER XXXI. FORTITUDE. CONNECTION WITH SELF-POSSESSION MARY LYON AN EXAMPLE OP FORTITUDE BEAUTY IN IT HARRIET NEWELL DECIDING TO BE A MISSIONARY GENUINE HEROISM PEMALliS NOT IN- CAPABLE OP DISPLAYING THIS TRAIT EIGHTEEN WIVES IN THE MAYFLOWER MARY CHILTON WOMEN OP THE REVOLUTION XVIII CONTENTS. MRS. HARRINGTON, OF LEXINGTON MRS. PRIOR IMPRISONED IN HOCSE OF ILL-FAME AARON BURR AND HIS AUNT RECORDS OF MARTYRDOM EXECUTION OF LADY JANE GREY LINES ON WALL OF HER PRISON PERSUASIVE TO CULTIVATE THIS QUAL- ITY, . 331 CHAPTER XXXII. PIETY. CROWNING EXCELLENCE A FEMALE INFIDEL KESTARKS OV HANNAH MORE AND REV. J. A. JAMES THEY REPRESENT VIEWS OF ALL WRITERS MARY WOLBTEJICROFT CONDEMNED FOR INFIDELITY FRANCES WRIGHT AND LAFAYETTE MANY GIRLS LIVING WITHOUT GOD MARY LYON'8 PIETY INCREASED LUSTRE OF OTHER VIRTUES RELIGION ADAPTED TO NATURE AND SPHERE OF WOMAN THE TEMPLE OF VESTA GIRLS NEED RELIGION TO CULTIVATE SOME OF FOREGOING QUALITIES TO SHIELD THEM FROM TEMPTATION TO PREPARE THEM FOR THE VICISSITUDES OF LIFE MRS. COMSTOCK, THE MISSION- ARYIT PREPARES FOR EXCHANGE OF WORLDS LAST HOURS OF A PIOUS YOUNG LADY LINES CONCLUSION, . . 341 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. CHAPTER I. SUNKISE A2TD SUNSET. THE MOUNTAIN-HOjrfT A DEATH -SCENE LAST WORDS OF THE DYING FATHER LITTLE MARY A CLOUD UPON HER RISING SUN THE LONELY WINTER MARY'S WORDS FORTY YEARS AF- TERA PRAYING MOTHER EARLY ADVANTAGES A DEATH- SCENE AT MOUNT HOLYOKE FEMALE SEMINARY UNIVERSAL BORROW WORDS OF A MONTREAL LADY EULOGY OF PRINCESS CHARLOTTE APPLIED WORDS OF' DU. HUMPHREY OF DR. HITCHCOCK HER 'GRAVE AND MONUMENT LITTLE MARY OF 1802, AND MARY LYOX OF 1849 HER RISING AND SETTING SUN HOW DID SHE SUCCEED? IMPORTANT FOR GIRLS TO KNQJV. COME, Reader, in imagination let us visit a loved " mountain home, r> as it was more than half a cen- tury ago. It is a humble abode, in the quiet town of Buckland, Massachusetts; but peace and love dwell within its v alls. Costly palaces never held more true affectk ;i and goodness than was found iu that lowly cot. There prayer had its altar, and piety yielded its richest fruits. Parents toiled and 20 THE GOOD GIKL AND TRUE WOMAN. prayed for their children, who were as olive plants round about their table; and children took the counsels of parents to their hearts, and wore them as "ornaments to the head, and chains about the neck." Mutual concord made the hours swift- winged, and daily lessons of wisdom imparted strength and beauty to* each young life. It is a cold day of blustering December, fifty-six years ago, on which we pay our visit to this family circle. It is winter in more senses than one to them, for, as we enter about mid-day, we behold " weeping and lamentation. " The pious husband and father, who " was often sent for*to pray with the sick and dying," is djdng himself. The afflicted wife and mother, with her group of dependent and sobbing children, stand around his bedside. We will not attempt to depict the sorrow of those young hearts, for this is quite impossible. It is sad indeed to become fatherless, but the loss of such a father ! a father who " was never known to speak an angry word," and whose praise, as a holy man, " was in all the churches," the loss of such a father is a loss indeed ! It is a dark, dark hour to those sons and daughters ; and it comes like a blight upon their early dreams. But hark! the dying father speaks ! Almost breathless the young weepers lis- ten to catch his last faltering words. " My dear chil- dren, what shall I say to you, my children? SUNRISE AND SUNSET. :> jrr? 21 God bless you, my children." They are his last Avords. He is gone. Heart and home are now desolate. '* * 'r Among that group of children was a little girl of four bright summers ; too young to appreciate her loss, yet old enough to mingle her sorrow witk brothers and sisters of riper years. She was a sprightly, light-hearted child .by nature, whose merry voice had chimed well with the songs of mountain birds around her home. Her father's death was the first cloud that had darkened her rising sun. A great cloud it was to obscure her life's bright morning ! By industry and strict econ- omy the father had supported his numerous family from the products of his little farm but how could that farm now yield support for them with- out a father's labors ? Little Mary was too^young to raise this question; but her childish ignorance did not alteV the reality. The sad event changed her prospects for life; that is, to human view. Could the best of mothers do so well for~ her chil- dren, guiding and toiling alone, as both father and mother, with their united efforts, could? Surely not. Mary, then, had less to hope for, and her promise for life was not so fair, after her excellent father was taken. True, her mother was no ordi- nary woman either in mind or heart. She was "a person of strong mind and active piety," better 22 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. fitted than many to share the widow's lonely por- tion, since she found a helper in the widow's God. Still, the absence of a father's everbusy hand must have deprived Mary of many comforts and advan- tages which otherwise would have brightened her early days. That was a lonely winter which followed the death of the beloved father. How often his last words to his children were revolved ! How sadly strange it seemed to them to beho d not his smiling face, to hear not his pleasant voice ! And then, too, as they gathered around the family altar, how strange to listen only to a moth ir's voice, as she read the Scriptures and offered prayer ! All this must have served to make the wi iter of their sor- row more bleak and severe. But that was a time of precious sowing. Even Mary r 'membered those maternal prayers to the day of h T death. Forty years f thereafter she wrote, "W at child of that household could ever forget th< >e extraordinary prayers of the sorrowing mother for the salvation of her fatherless children, as they were offered up, day by day, through all the Ion; cold winter?" Happy the fatherless children who have such a pray- ing mother ! Suffice it to say that the family continued upon the homestead, where Mary was privileged to climb the rocks and hills, and sport among the trees and SUNRISE AND SUNSET. 23 wild-flowers. Her early advantages for acquiring knowledge were very limited; for it was a long distance to the district school-house, and her feet wearied on the way. Girls of the present day en- joy far greater school advantages. In this regard chey are more favorably situated than was the sub- ject of these remarks. Perhaps none of them, however, receive more valuable lessons at home. We pause here, and drop the curtain iipon Ma- ry's childhood. Nearly fifty years pass, and quite another scene opens to our view. On the morning of March 6th, 1849, the tele- graphic wires carried the sad intelligence from city to city that the Principal of Mount Holyoke Fe- male Seminary was no more. The mournful tidings spread far and wide, and tears were shed in many a peaceful dwelling. The death of a female is sel- dom announced with so many demonstrations of unfeigned sorrow. In 'almost every state of tho Union there were some to weep over the sorrowful intelligence. " Long ere this," wrote a woman in Montreal, " amid the hunting-grounds of the Sioux and the villages of the Cherokees, tfte tear of the missionary has wet the page which has told of her departure. The Sandwich Islander will ask why is his white teacher's eye dim, as she reads her Amer- cian letters. The swarthy African will lament 24 THE GOOD GIKL AND TKUE WOMAN. with his sorrowing guide, who cries, " Help, Lord, for the godly ceaseth." The cinnamon groves of Ceylon, and the palm-trees of India over-shadow her early-deceased missionary pupils, while those left to bear the burden and heat of the day will wail the saint whose prayers and letters they so prized. Among the Nestorians of Persia, and at the base of Mount Olympus, will her name be breathed softly, as the household name of one whom God hath taken." It was not strange that her death was the occa- sion of general sorrow. For, as the founder of the first thorough and extensive female seminary in the land, and the teacher of more than three thou- sand pupils, she had justly earned a place in the affections of the wise and good. She had per- formed labors that would have prostrated almost any one of her sex, and introduced a grateful era in the cause of female education. She deserved the nation's tribute of respect. We may justly apply to her the poet's eulogy of the Princess Charlotte, of Wales : " A soul more spotless never claimed a tear; A heart more tender, open, and sincere; A hand more ready blessings to bestow; Beloved, lamented, and without a foe; How prized in life, say ye who knew her well ; How wept in death, a nation's tears may tell." SUNKISE AND SUNSET. 25 Dr. Humphrey said, in her funeral sermon, "In glancing at her chai'acter, taken all in all, I hardly dare to express the high estimation which my long acquaintance constrains me to cherish, lest I should seem to exaggerate. I certainly should not express it but in the presence of those who have enjoyed equal or better opportunities for marking her radi- ant and upward course. I do not say that in her intellectual endowments she was superior to many other females, nor that she attained to the first rank in external graces and accomplishments ; but this I do say, that, so far as I can remember, I have never known so much physical, intellectual, and moral power all combined in any one female as in our departed friend. Such labors as she per- formed would Have broken down almost any other constitution years ago. * * * To do the greatest possible good to the greatest number was her study and delight. I feel that on this point there is hardly any danger of using too strong lan- guage. To say that she was preeminently benevo- lent is not strong enough. In humble imitation of her Saviour, she seemed, wherever she went, and in all her relations, to be the very embodiment of love and good will to men, and never to have thought of herself, of her own ease, advantage, or convenience. It "was enough for her that others were made wiser, and better, and happier, at what- ever cost of toil or sacrifice to herself. " * 3 26 THE GOOD GIRL AMD TRUE WOMAN. Says Dr. Hitchcock, " We are amazed when we look back at the amount and magnitude of her labors. Very few females have done so much for the world while they lived, or have left so rich a legacy when they died. Nor is the fair picture marred by dark stains, save those of microscopic littleness. From the days of her childhood to the time of her death, all her physical, intellectual, and moral powers were concentrated upon some useful and noble object, while selfishness and self-gratifica- tion seem never to have stood at all in the way, or to have retarded the fervid wheels of benevo- lence." ****** " Wherever she went, her pathway was radiant with love, though she seemed unconscious of its brightness. * * * jj er influence widened ; her plans succeeded ; the world began to applaud, and the wise confessed her superior discernment and wisdom. At her death she had opened a per- ennial fountain of influence, whose streams had already reached the remotest nations of the earth, and which, through future generations, is destined to do more for the happiness of the world than all the acts of the mightiest queen that ever ruled. Surely the whole picture impresses us forcibly with its moral sublimity ; and we might almost have ex- pected that the chariot and hofses of fire would have been granted to close a scene so much like an angel visit." SUNRISE AND SUNSET. 27 Her remains were buried in a lovely spot on the Seminary grounds ; and over them a beautiful mon- ument of white Italian marble stands, bearing the following inscription:: MARY LYON, THE FOUNDER OF MOUNT HOLYOKE FEMALE SEMINAET; AND FOR TWBLVK TEARS ITS PRINCIPAL; Si Stacker FOE THIRTY-FIVE YEARS, AND OF MORE THAN THREE THOUSAND PUPILS. BORN FEBRUARY 28, 1797, DIED MARCH 5, 1849. It seems scarcely possible, and yet it is true, that the little girl whose childhood we have sketched was this same MARY LYON. From her humble home among the hills she went forth at the call of duty ; and what a bright mission t was hers ! A cloud obscured her rising sun, but it set in splen- dor. Her morning of life was darkened by trial its evening was lighted with a halo of glory. How did Mary Lyon achieve this signal success ? What element of character enabled her to ascend 28 THE GOOD GIBL AND TRUE WOMAN. to this high eminence of usefulness and honor? It is worth while to answer these questions, and this will be the object of the following pages. Not that we intend to confine our thoughts to her char- acter alone, but only to make it stand forth as our guide, while we cluster around it numerous inci- dents from the lives of other distinguished women, in order to accomplish our purpose more success- fully. Girls, no less than boys, need to know how they can make the most of life. It will aid them to learn how others have lived and labored. The strong points of female character will thus be made to appear in their vigor and loveliness. CHAPTER II. A PURPOSE. RESOLVED TO IMPROVE HER MIND KEPT HOUSE FOB HEE BROTH- ER WEAVING, SPINNING, AND TEACHING AT SANDERSON ACADEMY DECIDED TO BE A TEACHER REFUSED OFFER OF MARRIAGE CONTRASTED WITH GIRLS OF AIMLESS LIFE MANY OF THEM WITHOUT PURPOSE THIS A CAUSE OF UNHAPPINESS ITi WEDDED LIFE GIRL SAID " SHE LIVED TO BREATHE " RE- MARK OF AGESILAU8 PARENTS TEACH SONS TO BE USEFUL, AND DAUGHTERS TO BE LADY-LIKE SONS EDUCATED FOR PROFES- SIONS, DAUGHTERS FOR NOTHING VICTORIA, AN EXAMPLE OF ITOBLB- PURPOSE MRS. WESLEY, MRS. DODDRIDGE, AND OTH- ERS MADAME DE STAEL, HANNAH MORE, HANNAH ADAMS, ETC. HARRIET NEWELL AT SEVENTEEN THE DAUGHTER OF AN INTEMPERATE FATHER WHY DO GIRLS LIVE ? IN her girlhood Mary Lyon resolv.ed to improve her mind. Her opportunities for acquiring knowk edge, as we have said, were limited ; but " where there 's a will there 's a way. " Before she was thirteen years old, plans were formed which ma- tured into a determined and noble purpose. There was not a time thereafter when she lost sight of that one object mental culture. She gleaned what knowledge she could in her own school dis- trict, under quite unfavorable circumstances, and, 3* 30 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. at the same time, as opportunity offered, went to another district, and sometimes to Ashfield, to school, residing for the time being with some of her relatives, doing housework to pay her board. When she was fourteen years of age, she kept house for her unmarried brother, who was left in charge of the homestead, after their mother's sec- ond marriage. She succeeded so well in this im- portant sphere that her brother paid her one dollar a week to aid her in prosecuting her studies. At the earliest opportunity, in order to earn the means to defray her expenses at school, she engaged in teaching at seventy-five cents a week, less than she had received for keeping -house. But she had formed a purpose in that direction, and to the schoolroom she would go. Subsequently she collected together all she had earned by her services to her brother, by weaving, spinning, and teaching, and entered Sanderson Academy at Ashfield. There she remained until her scanty means were expended, when she decided to return to former employments. But the trus- tees of the institution kindly offered her a free use of all its advantages, which she accepted with a grateful heart. How long she remained there we do not know ; but from that time, she was study- ing and teaching until she died in eighteen hun- dred and forty-nine. A PURPOSE. 31 "We need not detail her course further at present. We have said enough to show that she was ani- mated with one purpose from her girlhood. In all that she did it was evident what she intended to be. She had a definite object, and that she labored > to accomplish. The older she grew, the more her soul was absorbed in her purpose. And, finally, she seemed to desire life only to render herself useful by teaching the young. Even when she received a good offer of marriage, she declined it, assigning as a reason, that she had projected plans for doing good by teaching, which she could not re- linquish for the most favorable matrimonial alliance. Surely, she must have decided with unusual thought- fulness what she would be, and what she would do ! Contrast this feature of Mary Lyon's character with that of the majority of girls. How few of them form any definite purpose respecting their mis- sion ! The majority are perfectly aimless. Youth of the other sex are delinquent enough in this par- ticular ; but the case is much worse with girls. No doubt social maxims and customs tend to make them aimless : for society has not demanded that women should be educated definitely for particular spheres. It is expected that a boy will be disci- plined in some chosen pursuit, so that when he be- comes a man, he will be master of some trade or profession, and be able to support a family. But 32 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. this is not expected of girls. For this reason, many of them grow up to womanhood, and become wives, without being qualified to superintend the preparation of even a good dinner. A woman would think herself peculiarly unfortunate to find herself wedded to a husband who was not compe- tent to manage any kind of business for support. But many a man finds himself wedded to a wife who can neither sew, bake, nor take care of her own children. She has never had any definite ideas about a woman's field of duty; indeed, she was educated to lead a butterfly's life, so that a well- formed purpose was entirely out of the question. Here is the secret of much unhappiness in the mar- ried state. A man marries a young woman of rank and beauty, supposing that he has found a help- meet to aid and cheer him in the great work of life ; but alas ! he finds, too late, that she has no just conception of womanly duties, and is happy only when she is treated as a plaything, or a doll. It is not strange that he should feel sadly disap- pointed, especially when he considers that the alli- ance is for life. Perhaps, in order to minister to his wife's pleasure, he must increase his family ex- penses to a degree that becomes embarrassing ; and this is another thorn in the flesh. One evil leads to another until mutual sympathy of husband and wife is destroyed, and both are unhappy. And it is all A PURPOSE. 33 the consequence of the aimless girlhood of became his wife. She was never taught to think she would ever be a woman, on whom grave re- sponsibilities would devolve. She never had any proper views of life. That she ought to form defi- nite ideas of future toils and duties, and model her character by certain high moral principles and aims never entered her mind. She became such a wo- man as she happened to be, unless, perchance, a fashionable education made her as vain and useless as possible. One of this class replied to the inter- rogative, " What is the object of your life ? " " To breathe- " However little sincerity there may have been in the reply, it contains a truthful satire upon the lives of many girls. They live " to breathe," and that is all. They are living without any defi- nite object before them, and they would be puzzled to find another answer to the above inquiry. When Agesilaus, king of Sparta, was asked what things boys ought to learn, he replied, "Those which they ought to practise when they come to be men." In accordance with this noble counsel, parents are wont to say to their sons, ' Show your- selves men : let your early life be adorned with those principles and purposes that will contribute to your distinction and usefulness in manhood.' But the same parents, perhaps, say to their daughters, practically, 4 Learn to be lady-like ; do not trouble 34 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. your mind about what sphere you may occupy here- , after ; learn music ; embroidery, and practise gen- tility ; this will do for girls.' No wonder so many are aimless, and live and die without making a mark upon the world ! Boys are taught to think that they must live to some purpose, and attain to some distinction in definite callings. Hence one is edu- cated for a clergyman, another for a lawyer, an- other for a physician, another for a merchant, another for a farmer, and thus on. Not so with a multitude of girls. There is so much indefinite- ness in their plans, and in the system of education under which they are taught, that it cannot be said they are instructed to be teachers, Or housekeepers, or seamstresses, or even wives and mothers. Of course society must share the blame for such a state of things. If its rule is, reading rooms for males, and carpets and plumes for females, it must reap accordingly. If we turn to the lives of the most eminent wo- men who have lived, we shall find that they early formed a definite purpose, as Mary Lyon did, and acted accordingly. That purpose may have been begotten by the judicious management of intelli- gent mothers. For example, the mother of the present Queen of England inspired in the heart of her lovely daughter those noble sentiments of honor and purity which have ever characterized A PURPOSE. 35 her reign. Her husband died when the child was but eight months old. The House of Commons sent a committee with an address of condolence to the afflicted widow. She met the deputation with the child in her arms, and " presented to them the smiling but unconscious babe as their future sove- reign, and assured them of her determination to consecrate all her energies to prepare her child for the distinguished situation she was destined to fill." From that time it was her study to train the young queen for the highest usefulness. Special pains were taken to guard against pride and vanity, and all kindred evils that are so prevalent among the female sex, especially in royal families. When public demonstrations in honor of the young prin- cess were first made, her mother said to her, " It is not you, but your future office and rank, which are regarded by the country, and you must so act as never to bring that office and that rank into dis- grace and disrespect." In short, she was educated not to shine but to act, not to be a royal belle, but a model woman. Her heart was not cultivated less than her intellect. And the good results of that early culture are known to the world. The same was true of Mrs. Wesley, Mrs. Dodd- ridge, Mrs. Edwards, Mrs. Dwight, Mrs. Ramsey, and many others. They were distinguished for setting before their children a high object for 36 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. which to live. Their instructions, in this particular, were the same to daughters as to sons. They be- lieved that the former no less than the latter should be actuated by definite and exalted purposes, and all their efforts were directed to this end. Historv proves that, so far as their counsels were heeded, their children rose to eminence. If we trace the history of any woman, who has acted a good part in the humbler or higher walks of life, we shall find that she always had a purpose. It was true of Madame De Stael, Hannah More, Hannah Adams, Mrs. Hancock, Mrs. Hemans and Harriet Newell. The latter became a true hearted Christian in her youth, and she resolved that her influence should be felt for good. She turned away from the follies and vanities of the world, with the unyielding purpose to perform a woman's mission. At seventeen years of age she gave her heart and hand to Mr. Newell, who was about going as a missionary to India. It was a great step in that day-dawn of missionary light, but it just met her resolve to do something for the. world. She wrote to a friend, " How can I go and leave those who have done so much for me, and who will be to sorry for my loss ? How can I leave my mother here while oceans roll between us ? How can I go with but little prospect of return ? And how can I stay ? We are under solemn obligations .to A PUBPOSE. 37 labor for God ; and I must go to India at any sac- rifice. I owe something to my perishing fellow- men ; I owe something to my Saviour. He wept for men he shed tears over Jurusalem. 'Did Christ o'er sinners weep? And shall our cheeks be The author is acquainted with a young woman whose father was intemperate. This vice destroyed his character, and wasted his property. He be- came poor, and expected to leave the little farm which he had called his own. The daughter pon- dered their condition, and laid her plans. She pro- posed to her father, that if he would relinquish the use of strong drink, she would assist him to redeem his farm and his character. He accepted this pro- position, and the daughter accordingly fitted her- self for a teacher. The teach of an academy hearing of her praiseworthy ob/. , offered her the advantages of the institution without money, and a worthy matron received her into her family for her company and assistance while she pursued her studies. For some years she has been pursuing her single object, and the avails of her teaching have been carefully husbanded to aid the father in recov- ering his wasted fortune. We understand that the father holds out in the path of sobriety, encouraged 4 38 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. by tire self-denial and persevering labors of his daughter, and that the day is not far distant when the loved homestead will again be his. This young woman's life will be far more brilliant and valuable in consequence of its being directed by a worthy and inflexible purpose. Girls, then, should stop and inquire, why do we live f Surely they should live for something. Those who live for they know not what are living as the brutes live. They have no plan of life. They have no fixed principles of action. Life to them is unreal a day-dream of pleasure. Strange de- lusion! Life means something momentous re- sults depend upon the manner it is lived. The poorest and humblest girl can adorn it with a bright career. CHAPTER III. A GIRL'S MISTAKE. 4 POSITION AND DUTY '.IANY GIRLS DESIRE THE FORMER DESPISE LABOH MARRY UK PRINCIPLED YOUNG MEN FOR BEAUTY OR MONEY THOUGHTL Z88NE88 RESULTS QUEEN ELIZABETH CONFESSION OF PRINOE88 AMELIA CONTRA8TEB WITH SEEKING HAPPINESS IN DOING DUTY A YOUNG LADY AT THE WEST MARY LYON ALWAVS ASKED, "WHAT IS DUTY?" HER COUN- SELS TO PUPILS HER REGARD FOR DUTY IN VIEW -OP DEATH SUBLIME DISCHARGE OF DUTY NEVER REGRETTED WOED8 OF ELIZABETH HEKVEY DYING ON MISSIONARY GROUND. GIBLS are apt to think that the happiness of life is derived from position rather than from a faithful discharge of duty. Hence their desire for those external things, which perish with the using. Go, ask that flitting, sylph-like girl, whose eye beams with hope and intelligence, what will satisfy her heart and make her happy, as she blooms into wo- manhood. Does she answer, " DOING MY DUTY ? " Nay. But you read in every lineament of her face, in her laughing eye and bounding heart, " Give me position ! Let wealth be mine, and let me be dandled in the lap of luxury, while admirers flock around my path, and' grace and beauty be- 40 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. come my passport to honored circles. And when my hand and heart are claimed for a life-alliance, may it- be by some distinguished votary of pleasure, affluence, or fame, who can usher me into ygt higher circles of elegance and fashion." Such are really the views and feelings of many girls concerning the sources of earthly happiness. DUTY is a common and homely word, Whose claims they leave for older and graver people to discuss. To them it is a stern, unmusical word, scarcely suited to the ears and tastes of ardent youth. They prefer to pass it by for the present, resolved that, when age modifies their love of worldly attainments, they will attend to the rigid demands of duty. Here is the mistake of thousands ; a mistake which interferes with the great purpose of life, and yields bitter fruits both in this world and the next. It is this mistake which leads so many young fe- males to be vain and proud. Believing that po- sition will bring the coveted enjoyment of life, they, are led to strive after those things which charac- terize the so-called higher circles. They ape the manners and customs of those circles, and study to produce effect upon beholders. It is this, too, which causes them to believe that certain female employments are degrading, however useful and necessary they may be. They think that a certain rank confers honor upon woman, thus entirely for- A GIRL'S MISTAKE. 41 getting that qualities of heart have any thing to do with her dignity. Practically denying the couplet, " Honor and shame from no condition rise, Act well your part there all the honor lies," they erroneously conclude that labor of almost any kind is not lady-like. Hence their desire to be raised above the necessity of labor. They would not be obliged to earn a livelihood because it com- promits their dignity, as they think. In conse- quence, we see young ladies accepting the at- tentions of unprincipled young men, who have honored ancestry and influence on their side, in preference to those of humble origin and circum- stances, though possessing the highest virtues. Thousands of young ladies marry young men for their beauty and rank, without the slightest ref- erence to* their moral characters. The painful result is well known to the world. Nor is this the worst thing resulting from the mistake in question. It renders girlhood thought- less and worldly. It leaves the matter of personal obligation and accountability unsettled. The err- ing one scarcely dreams that she is responsible to God for the means of influence which she possesses. She overlooks the nature and wants of the soul, and li ves regardless of eternal realities. When her 4* 42 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. eyes are opened to behold her mistake, it is gen- erally too late to avert impending doom. Thus it was with the once haughty daughter of the Tudors, Elizabeth, Queen of England. She was a girl of mark, and gloried in her royal rank. She relied upon external distinctions for enjoyment. It was the climax of her ambition to command the insignia of royalty. She thought her cup of earthly joy would be filled to the brim when England should call her queen. Thus she lived, a devoted wor- shipper at the shrine of position. It was her all. Time rolled on, and she was crowned queen of England. She had wealth, fame, and power, intel- ligence, learning and admirers ; and upon these she relied for enjoyment. But sickness came in the midst of her royal joys, and death waited at her palace gate. For the first time in her life she be- held her fatal mistake ; but the die was cast. It was too late to correct her error, and her destiny was sealed. Her soul writhed in agony in view of a misspent life, and the terrible reality before her. There was nothing in the past to be seen but her sad mistake, and nothing in the future but its fearful results. She could neither live nor die in peace. Her life closed in midnight gloom. Such are some of the bitter fruits of the mistake in question, found among the highest and humblest families. Like the Princess Amelia, many have A GIRL'S MISTAKE. 43 confessed their folly later in life, as a warning to their sex who might come after them. She spent her girlhood depending upon external possessions for enjoyment. She looked not higher, nor sighed for anything better. Thus she lived; and finally left her confession and warning in the following lines : " Unthinking, idle, wild, and young, I laughed, and danced, and talked, and sung; And proud of health, of freedom vain, Breamed not of sorrow, care, or pain; Concluding in these hours of glee, That all the world was made for me; But when the hour of trial came, When sickness shook this trembling frame, When folly's gay pursuits were o'er, And I could dance and sing no more, It then occurred how sad 't would be, Were this world only made for me." We have cited two examples from the most ex- alted rank of life ; and now we ask the reader to contrast it with the following, where the person found all her satisfaction in the discharge of duty. Not long since, a young lady in a western city concluded that duty required her to become tract distributor. She had qualifications that would have given her an honorable place in almost any circle ; but she preferred to walk in the path of duty 44 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. rather than command the most attractive position. One day as she was going through her allotted dis- trict upon her benevolent errand, she met a foreign gentleman, and presented him a tract entitled, " The Worth of the Soul." He received it with a smile, and inquired the price of it. On being told that it was a gift, he kindly thanked her, and pro- mised to become acquainted with its contents. They separated, and he at once began to spell out the tract. His acquaintance with the English language was very limited ; but he succeeded in spelling out the first sentence, "Knowest thou, O man, that thou hast a soul ? " He was deeply impressed by this 'solemn inquiry; and, in a short time, he and his wife were seekers of religion in the vestry of an evangelical church. Suffice to say, both became Christians. One evening this gentleman was re- lating his experience in meeting, when he said, " God bless that young lady, who gave me that little book ; oh, I wishI knew who she was, so that I could again thank her for that gift." As these words dropped from his lips, the young lady, who was present, arose, went to him, and announced that she gave him the tract. The converted man was aWnost overcome by his feelings. He at- tempted to express his gratitude, but language failed him, and he burst into a flood of tears, as he threw himself upon her neck. Tears of joy flowed A GIRL'S MISTAKE. 45 down the young lady's face, while many in the con- gregation wept over the affecting scene. What a blissful moment to that young woman ! For all the joys that rank and possession promise, she would not have parted with the happiness of that hour. In the humble discharge of duty she found more enjoyment than England's haughty queen derived from her royal splendor. And how much more beautiful is such an act in the female character I How much more worthy an immortal being ! How much more dignified and honorable ! Here the character of Mary Lyon shines with peculiar lustre. From her youth she was accus- tomed to ask, what is duty f and not, what ad- vantage will position give f Nor did she aim to discharge duty for the sake of the enjoyment to be derived therefrom. It- was for duty's sake alone that she would meet her personal obligations. She devoted herself to teaching, from this high consideration. She never 4eft one school for an- other until this point was settled conscientiously. Higher wages alone did not influence her to re- linquish one field for another. Sometimes she declined the offer of more remuneration in another place, because she believed that duty bade her remain where she was. When she was teacher at Mount Holyoke Seminary, she never failed to hold up this high -staudafTl to her scholars. They can 46 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. now testify to the fervor and eloquence with which she often discoursed upon this subject. "Do not think of filthy lucre and immortal minds together," she would say. " Dollars and cents can never pay the faithful minister, nor the faithful teacher. The field is all white, and whoever has a willing heart may sharpen her sickle, and help gather in the harvest." Again she would add, " Do not say you would like to take a few music scholars, or to assist in an academy. Labor for the degraded. Take hold where no one else will." In other words, go where duty calls. She taught her pupils in this way, because such had been her convictions from early life. She taught as she had lived. She had V learned from happy experience that no enjoyment can equal that which flows from the faithful dis- charge of duty. There is one passage in her life that is truly sublime, in consequence of the firm, inflexible pur- pose, with which this consideration was maintained. A fatal disease appeared in the Seminary, and one of the pupils lay at the door of death. When the nature of the disease was announced to the school, many of them were filled with alarm. Miss Lyon beheld this state of things with regret, and she finally assembled the school for the purpose of im- parting such moral and religious lessons as the occasion required. They cfltne together with anx- A GIRL'S MISTAKE. 47 ions looks and trembling hearts. She impressed npon them the comforting docti'ine of Divine Pro- vidence, and closed her address with these memo- rable words, " SHALL WE FEAR WHAT GOD is ABOUT TO DO ? THERE is NOTHING IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I PEAR, BUT THAT I SHALL NOT KNOW ALL MY DUTY, OR FAIL TO DO IT." It was her last instruction to her school ; for, on the following day, the dreaded malady prostrated her, and in a single week she passed to the spirit-land. The words are inscribed upon the east side of the beautiful monument erected over her remains. They are worthy of that place, that every pupil, and every traveller, who lingers to read thereon the recosd of her life and death, may be impressed with the sacred demands of DUTY. Let the reader imitate the noble, Christe-like ex- ample of Miss Lyon, and thereby avoid the com- mon mistake of girls. There never comes a time in the -life of male or female when adherence to duty is the subject of regret. Even when the severest trials and hardships are experienced in consequence, this exalted principle of .action opens a spring of joy in the soul. On this account, that devoted missionary, Elizabeth Hervey, could say, as she lay dying in a distant land, " Now tell my friends, tell my beloved pastor, tell the dear church in Hadley, that I do not, and never have for a mo- 48 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE WOMAN. merit regretted that I came here. No ; had I foreseen this hour, and all I. have endured since I left America, I should have decided just as I did, if the path of duty had been as plain as it appeared to be." The motto of every girl should be, DUTY BEFORE POSITIOH. CHAPTER IV. FEMALE INFLUENCE. BEMARK OF A QIRL ERRONEOUS VIEWS FEMALE REMARKS OF ADOLPH MONOD OF REV. J. A. JAMES INFLU- ENCE OF WIVES AND MOTHERS CASE OF GENERAL HOUSTON THAT OF SIR JAMES MACKINTOSH WIVES OF THE GENERALS HOWE MOTHER OF JOHN QUINCY ADAMS OF REV. BICHARD KNILL OF BACON, DWIGHT, NEWTON, ETC. ALL COUNTRIES GOVERNED BY WOMEN MOTHER OF WASHINGTON DISCOVERY OF AMERICA PARTLY DUE TO WOMA.N SO ORIGIN OF INFANT SCHOOLS EFFORTS IN WORKS OF MERCY MOHAWK INDIANS FEMALES DECIDE MORALS EXAMPLE OF MARY LYON HER SEMINARY HER THREE THOUSAND PUPILS SKETCH OF ONE OF TIIEM A HUNDRED THOUSAND TEACHERS CONVERSION OF PU- PILS HER INFLUENCE EQUALS THAT OF ANY STATESMAN ( HANNAH MORE CONCLUSION. " INFLUENCE ! " exclaimed a sprightly miss, in reply to a remark upon the subject, "a woman have influence upon society ! It is no such thing. Not half the wives even can influence their hus- bands a whit, and I am sure that half the mothers fail to persuade their children to do right." Like many other girls, she had no just idea of what female influence is. Perhaps here may be found a reason for the want of effort among females to accomplish noble things. It is certain that the 5 50 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. conviction of incompetency, in this regard, must disqualify a young woman for efioctive labor. Let us, then, see what the influence o :' woman is in this world of ours. Adolph Monod, a distinguished French' writer, opens one of his works by saying, " The greatest influence on earth, whether for good or for evil, is possessed by woman. Let us study the history of by-gone ages the state of barbarism and civil- ization ; of the East and the West ; of Paganism and Christianity ; of antiquity and the middle ages ; of mediaeval and modern times and we shall find that there is nothing which more decidedly sep- arates them than the condition of woman." Says Rev. John Angell James : " Every wo- , man, whether rich or poor, married or single, has a circle of influence, within which, according to her character, she is exerting a certain amount of power for good or harm. Every woman by her virtue or her vice, by her folly or her wisdom, by her levity or her dignity, is adding something to our national elevation or degradation .... To a certain extent, woman is the conservator of a na- tion's welfare. Her virtue, if firm and uncorrupted, will stand sentinel over that of empire .... A community is not likely to be overthrown, where woman fulfils her mission ; or, by the power of her noble heart over the heai-ts of others, she will raise FEMALE INFLUENCE. 51 it from its ruins, and restore it again to prosperity and joy." In the relation of wives and mothers we find striking proof of the power of female influence. When General Samuel Houston was in one of the Atlantic states, he was invited one evening to visit a place of popular amusement, which he at once declined, saying, " You are doubtless aware that a portion of my life was clouded by an intense de- votion to most of the customs and fashions of so- ciety, and that, in consequence, I became degraded, and was shunned by the wise and good. My humiliation was the greater, because I had formerly stood well in the esteem of my fellow-citizens. My downfall was owing to the evil ways of society, but still it was my own fault. In this condition, she who is now my wife, awoke a desire for reform ; she in- spired me, she guided me, she aided me, and to her kind and unwearied efforts is due my redemption from the thraldom of evil habits. Yes, sir, humanly speaking, I owe to her all I am, or that I hope to be, in time and eternity. She is a praying wo- man, a member, of a Christian church. Some time ago, I resolved, by the help of God, never to per- form an act having any moral bearing, which tfould not be approved by my good wife. I know she disapproves of this species of amusement, and would wish me not to attend, because its tendencies are 52 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. evil, and it is unnecessary ; and I agree with her in opinion. You will, therefore, I trust, allow that I have reasons, which should have weight with any true man, for not accepting your invitation." Sir James Mackintosh said of his wife, after her decease : " She gently reclaimed me from dissi- pation, she propped my weak and irresolute nature, she ui'ged my indolence to all the exertions that have been useful or creditable to me, and she was perpetually at hand to admonish my heedlessness and improvidence. To her I owe whatever I am to her whatever I shall be." In the time of the American Revolution, John Adams wrote to his wife from Philadelphia : " I be- lieve the two Howes have not very great women for their wives. If they had, we should suifer more from their exertions than we do. This is our good fortune. A smart wife would have put Howe in possession of Philadelphia a long time ago." John Quincy Adams once spoke of his mother's influence as follows : " It is due to gratitude and nature that I should acknowledge and avow that, such as I have been, whatever it was, such as I am, whatever it is, and such as I hope to be in all futtfrity, must be ascribed, under Providence, to the precepts and example of my mother." Said Rev. Richard Knill : " I have a vivid recol- lection of the effect of maternal influence. My FEMALE INFLUENCE. 53 honored mother was a religious woman, and she watched over and instructed me as pious mothers are accustomed to do. Alas ! I often forgot her admonitions; but in my most thoughtless days I never lost the impressions which her holy example had made on my mind." Other distinguished men, as Bacon, Dwight, Newton and Edwards have borne similar testimony to the influence of their mothers. So generally true is it that great and good men owe much of their characters and fame to maternal training, that some one has said, " Good professors can make good scholars, but good mothers alone can make good men." Such is the influence of woman in every land. The testimony of the best writers of every age agrees with the quotations we have made. In view of the fact, can a young lady say that there is no opportunity for her to exert an influence upon society ? Nothing but ignorance of what has been accomplished by her sex can lead her to this con- clusion. Some writer has said that "there is no country on earth, except France, which woman has not governed." Does the reader say, " she has not governed America ? " She has governed it, if we judge by the rule of the illustrious Cato. Said he; "The Romans govern the world, but it is the women that govern the Romans." So Washington H THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WO .MAN. not only governed but made our country what it ;s ; but his gifted mother governed and made him. Read history, and we learn that to a female, Isabella of Spain, Columbus owed his success in the discovery of this continent. But for her timely interposition and aid, his enterprise would have been abandoned. The existence of the first pri- mary and infant schools found in the annals of ed- ucation is traced to a few young ladies in the town of Newburyport, Mass., seventy-five years ago. And how many of the humane enterprises of the present and past, how many of the philanthropic and mis- sionary movements, owe, not only their prosperity, but their very existence to woman's endeavors. The females of even savage tribes have exerted a pow- erful influence in this particular. Some years since, when the males of the Mohawk tribe were much debased by intemperance, and were embroiled in sanguinary wars with neighboring Indians, the wo- men resolved to remove the evils. They called a council of their own sex, and devised measures for the suppression of intemperance, and the termin- ation of war, and their efforts were crowned with success. It is an illustration of female influence in alleviating the sufferings and sorrows of mankind. What work of kindness or charity is prosecuted without the aid of woman ?, Is not the cooperation of the female sex considered indispensable to success FEMALE INFLUENCE. 55 in all benevolent movements ? Without their sym- pathies all such causes languish, while with them they flourish. Indeed, such is woman's influence, we may add, that she decides social morality. If her standard of excellence is high, the society in which she moves will be elevated. If otherwise, the morals of the community will be loose. Let her treat religion lightly, and the men will rail about it as infidels of the lowest school. Let her speak contemptuously of temperance, and men will plunge madly into inebriation. So great is the power of her precepts and example ! No community is ever better than its females. With them it rises or falls in the scale of moral character. But we can scarcely find a more remarkable ex- ample of female influence than that of Mary Lyon. She never enterfUfhed such false ideas of the mis- sion of her sex" as the girl whose remark we quoted at the opening of this chapter. Even as early as fourteen years of age, she had exalted ideas of the influence of a teacher. As she advanced in years, this view acquired strength, and resolved itself into more definite form. It was a theme upon which she dwelt often in addressing her pupils. She taught them to guard against the idea that they must be ciphers in the world, and aim to make their mark upon society wherever they might live, and very few of her pupils left her without being 56 THE GOOD CURL AND TRUE WOMAN. % fully convinced that if their influence was not felt in the social circles it would be their own fault. Look at her own Seminary at South Hadley as a living proof of her great influence. It was through her own agency entirely that such an institution exists; and the first thousand dollars which she collected for the work was given by females almost three hundred dollars of it by the pupils of her own school at Ipswich, Mass., where she was then teaching. She was obliged to encounter apathy, popular prejudice, and even opposition, among the very class to whom she looked for sym- pathy; but every obstacle finally yielded before her influence. Think, too, of her instructions to more than THREE THOUSAND young ladies ; and these going forth to teach in this and other lands, and to fill places of influence as wives and mothers. Each one was prepared by her teacher's lessons to im- press society, more or less, by her character. Her good influence was but that of her faithful teacher reduplicated,. Take one case for illustration. A young lady fitted herself for a teacher under Miss Lyon, and went to a distant territory of the West. She took up her abode with a married sister, who lived in very humble circumstances. " In a small room of their small house " she opened a school, and fifteen scholars attended, French, Dutch, and FEMALE INFLUENCE. 57 Yankees, all together. The school increased in numbers, and finally the house became too strait for them. The result was, that a building was erected for the school, which soon after numbered more than a hundred. That territory has become a State, and some of its most prominent citizens were once the pupils of this female teacher. She is known in almost every town thereof, and thousands are ready to rise up and call her blessed. But her in- fluence is only one of the many streams which Mary Lyon caused to flow in almost every State of the Union, as well as on heathen shores. If one of her pupils accomplished so much, then what would ten, one hundred, a thousand, do, at home and abroad ? Suppose that one-third of the three thousand pupils whom she instructed became teachers, and that each one of these qualified only one hundred each, in their turn, to instruct ; then the thousand young teachers whom she sent forth would have qualified one hundred thousand for the same office. How rapidly and wonderfully her own influence multiplies through these representatives ! Nor is this the best view of her influence. She labored for the salvation ofi. her pupils, and every year but the first of her teaching at South Hadley witnessed a powerful revival in her school. Of sixty-six unconverted young ladies in the insti- tution at one time, sixty were converted. Many 58 THE GOOD G1BL AND TRUE WOMAN. of her pious scholars became the wives of cler gymen, and were thus introduced into fields of extensive usefulness. About forty of them became missionaries, many of whose names are now familiar and precious to the church. Who, then, can esti- mate the influence of this one woman ? Through her scholars it is felt in nearly every land where the Gospel is proclaimed. Though she lies silent in the grave, her lessons of wisdom are still guiding and controlling the hearts of thousand*. Where is the statesman or legislator who has accomplished more for his race than she ? Does not her influ- ence, though a woman, compare favorably with that of the ablest men, who have swayed senates, or sat on thrones of power ? She reminds us of Hannah More, who at one time had a thousand pupils under her care. Per- haps the latter reached more minds than Mary Lyon ; we are quite sure, however, that she did not qualify so many for extensive usefulness. And yet we gladly refer to her as an eminent example of female influence. So long as the life of Mary Lyon stands recorded, no girl can say that her own influence must be small. If the circumstances of any girl at sixteen authorize this plea, then this would have been the case with her. Was she not poor ? Was she not of bumble origin ? Were not her privileges small ? And yet her influence has been felt around the world. CHAPTER V. A. GIRL'S MISSION. FOR WHAT SPHERE SHALL A GIRL PREPARE? GIRLS HAVE A MISSION AS REALLY AS BOYS SHE IS QUALIFIED FOR ERRANDS OF MERCY TESTIMONY OF LEDYARD OF MUNGO PARK OF A FUGITIVE FROM THE OLD JERSEY PRISON-SHIP LABORS OF SA- KAH HOFFMAN, MISS DIX, MRS. FRY, AND COUNTESS OF HUNT- INGDON 'OF MRS. JUDSON, HARRIET STEWART, ETC. LINES OP MRS. 8IGOURNEY A SISTER'S POWER OVER AN INSANE BROTH- ER HER INFANT IN HIS ARMS THE OFFICE OF NURSE RE MARKS OF MRS. O88OLI THE OFFICE OF TEACHER REMARKS OP DR. WAYLAND SIXTY THOUSAND TEACHERS WANTED REMARKS OP MARY LTON HER LIFE AS TEACHER MRS. RE- BECCA MOTTE MANUAL EMPLOYMENT MISSIONARY WORK HOME DUTIES PREPARATION FOR THESE QUALIFIES FOE OTHER SPHERES "WOMAN'S RIGHTS" JOAN OF ABC AND ABBY KELLEY FOSTER MARY LYON POETRY. " WELL," says the reader, " suppose I have a purpose, and appreciate the power of female influ- ence, what shall I be? I should not know for what sphere of labor to prepare." I answer, cul- tivate your mind and heart in due proportions, and make yourself familiar with domestic duties, and you will be prepared for any sphere. Then you can become teacher or nurse, seamstress or phi- lanthropist, wife or mother, without much incou- 60 THE GOOD GIKL AND TRUE WOMAX. venience. But this inquiry, " What shall I be ? " deserves a more definite answer. Every girl has a mission to perform as really as every boy, and her mission is no less important. What sphere of duty opens before her ? In the first place, she is qualified by nature for ministrations of love and kindness to the unfor- tunate and suffering members of the human family. The female sex are universally acknowledged to ho better suited to perform errands of mercy than males. Their tenderness, sensibility, and fervent sympathies and affection, adapt them to such mer- ciful errands. The well known traveller, Ledyard, remarks: " Women do not hesitate, like men, to perform a hospitable or generous action; not haughty, nor arrogant, nor supercilious, but full of courtesy, and fond of society; industrious, eco- nomical, ingenious, more liable in general to err than man, but in general also more virtuous, and performing more good actions than he. I never addressed myself in the language of decency and friendship to' a woman, whether civilized or savage, without receiving a friendly answer. With man, it has often been otherwise. In wandering over the barren plains of inhospitable Denmark, through honest Sweden, frozen Lapland, rude and churlish Finland, unprincipled Russia, and the wide-spread regions of the wandering Tartar, hungry, dry, cold, A GIRL'S MISSION. 61- wet, or sick, woman has ever been friendly to me, and uniformly so ; and to add to this virtue, so worthy of the appellation of benevolence, these actions have been performed in so free and kind a manner, that, if I was dry, I drank the sweet draught, and if hungry, I ate the coarse morsel, with a double relish." Such is Ledyard's testimony to the nattiral kind- ness and generosity of woman. The testimony of Mungo Park, who also travelled extensively, was similar. "When he lay almost famished upon the ground, in a desolate part of Africa, expecting to perish from exposure, he was discovered by some negro women, and taken to their rude habitation, where his immediate wants were supplied, and his life saved. He thought the negro men would not havbeen moved to pity by his distressed condition. Rev. Mr. Andros, who was a youth in the time of the American revolution, did military service in the place of his father. He was taken prisoner, and con- fined in the " old Jersey prison-ship, " from which he finally escaped. He was in a wretched plight when he left the ship ; his clothes were ragged and filthy, his body was covered with vermin, and there was scarcely a trace of his former self remaining. As he pursued his way towards Massachusetts, through forests and meadows, he found scarcely a man who would minister to his necessities. They 6 62 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE WOMAN. were afraid of. losing their own heads by British officials if they did. But the women looked upon him with compassion. Without asking a question, one would slip into his emaciated hand a piece of bread, and another supply him with some needed garment to protect him. One night a woman lodged him. in her humble abode, and discovering that his clothes were alive with vermin, she put them into her oven and baked them after he was asleep. Sho spent most of the night in caring for the sufferer, that he might be able to pursue his homeward course on the following day. Early in the fol- lowing morning, having received a bountiful supply of food, he started off with the kind woman's " God bless you " saluting his ear. These facts show that woman is kindly disposed. Then we have, in addition, the labors of such fe- males as Mrs. Sarah Hoffman, who spent days and weeks of the most inclement season of the year among the poor and wretched of New York city, often in the midst of contagious diseases before which the warrior trembles; of Miss Dix, who from the office of a humble Sabbath School teacher in the city of Boston, went forth to visit the asylums, almshouses,' jails and penitentiaries of the State, in order to bless the inmates thereof, extending her labors until she embraced every State in the Union, causing reforms to be made A GIRL'S MISSION. 63 and philanthropic institutions to arise, jrhich an- other has said "are monuments more" honorable, if* not more enduring, than the pyramids ; " of Mrs. Fry, who consecrated almost fifty years of her noble life, together with her ample fortune, to the cause of suffering humanity, visiting the prisons of England, France, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, Germany, and Prussia, "to take the gauge of misery, depression, and contempt ; " of the Coun- tess of Huntingdon, who laid all her possessions upon the altar of God, and devoted her energies to the erection of chapels for the poor at her own ex- pense, in every part of her native land, and finally sold her jewels to enable her to complete the gen- erous work; and last, though not least, of the Harriet Newells, Anh Judsons, Harriet Stewarts and Mary Van Lenneps, who sacrificed the ease and joys of home and country for the sake of lead- ing the benighted of far-off lands to the Aross of Christ. These are but representatives of the wo- men who have belonged to the only true order of " sisters of charity " that the world has known. "How sweet to hear those lips of rose The cause of humble virtue pleading; While Wit his dazzling weapon shows, Advancing near, and now receding. 64 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMA.K. How sweet to know that gentle heart, So skilled to soothe the hour of sadness, Will draw of pain the envenomed dart, And bid life's current flow with gladness." That female character possesses a charm which renders it a powerful agent in mitigating the woes of mankind is proved by the following fact related by Margaret Fuller Ossoli. A clergyman had a very bright, promising son, whom he sent to college. He was extremely fond of his books, and close, uninterrupted application made him insane. He returned to his father's house where he soon became a raving maniac, and was chained to a post in an unoccupied room of the house. There he raved, shrieked, and struck about him, in the most frightful manner, and no one dared approach him. For his sister Lucy he had always cherished the strongest affection, and whenever she entered the room, and spoke or sang, his fierceness would abate, and he would sometimes appear quite calm. Lucy married, however, and went away. She was ab- sent two or three years, during which time the brother continued a maniac, fiercer than he was while Lucy was at home. At the expiration of this time she returned to her father's house, and brought an infant with her. She went into the room where her brother was confined, and he recog- nized her at once, and manifested joy at seeing her. V A GIRL'S MISSION. 65 "But Lucy," said he hurriedly, "is that your baby you have in your arms? Give it to me, I want to hold it." Lucy shuddered at the thought of placing the child in his arms, and a deadly palor spread over her face. The maniac saw her fears, and said, "Lucy, do you suppose I would hurt your child?" At once the sister laid the child in his arms. He looked at it, smiled, stroked it and burst into tears, the first he had shed since he was insane. For some time after he was better. Many such incidents might be cited to show how wonderfully God has adapted woman to perform deeds of mercy. Here a great variety of channels are opened to receive her influence. Through some one of them every girl may qualify herself to act. In this connection, we would call the reader's attention particularly to the office of nurse a hitherto despised though indispensable sphere of female effort. Is it degrading to alleviate the sufferings of the sick ? Why should it be thought beneath the rank of the most accomplished wo- man to carry physical and spiritual comfort to the pining invalid ? It is a part of woman's ordained mission, of which she has more reason to be proud than ashamed. Says Mrs. Ossoli of this way of 6* 66 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. doing good, "It is a noble one, now most unjustly regarded in the light of menial sei-vice. It is one which no menial, no servile nature can fitly occupy. .... We hope to see the time when the refined and cultivated will choose this profession, and learn it, not only through experience and under the direction of the doctor, but by acquainting them- selves with the laws of matter and of mind, so that all they do shall be intelligently done, and afford them the means of developing intelligence, as well as the nobler, tenderer feeling of humanity; for even this last part of the benefit they cannot re- ceive if their work be done in a selfish or mercenary spirit." Next, there is the office of teacher for which females are admirably adapted: Says Dr. Wayland, who always speaks with moderation on every sub- ject, "In all the v preparatory studies of boyhood' and youth the services of female instructors are to be preferred. We do\ibt whether a youthful mind ever received an improper bias from the influence or teachings of a woman. The moral impulses they communicate ai-e always right. They have an instinctive and beautiful sympathy with the ' tender susceptibilities and faculties of the young, which enables them to exercise t; e most healthful influence over their moral and nental training. This is nature a wise dispensation of Providence ; A GIRL'S MISSION. 67 God himself has formed and designed woman as the first instructor of the young." This, too, is a sphere of female exertion not likely to be overcrowded with toilers at present. For we are told that sixty thousand female teachers are now needed in our land. Where are they to be found unless the girls of New England, and of every other part of the Union, give special heed to duty in this direction ? When Mary Lyon began her efforts in behalf of the Female Seminary at South Hadley, she addressed a circular to ladies, from which we extract the following : " Among the means essential to the safety of the nation, many are convinced of the necessity of urging into the field a multitude of benevolent, self-denying female teachers. Many of the most candid and discrimi- nating, who have the advantage of observation on this subject, are convinced that all other means without this will be insufficient. Fill the country with ministers, and they could no more conquer the whole land and secure their victories, without the aid of many times their number of self-denying female teachers, than the latter could complete the work without the former." How great the inducement, then, for females to enter this field of usefulness ! The life of Mary Lyon herself presents irresistible appeals to the young ladies of our country to devote themselves 68 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. to this profession. Even if no one of their number should accomplish more than a twentieth or fiftieth part as much as she did, the inducement is yet strong. During the revolutionary war, Fort Motte, in South Carolina, fell into the hands of the British. In order to regain possession of it, it became ne- cessary to burn a fine mansion standing near the centre of the trench. The house belonged to Mrs. Rebecca Motte. Lieut. Col. Lee communicated to her the proposed destruction of the dwelling, to which she replied, " I am gratified with the oppor- tunity of contributing to the good of my country, and shall view the approaching scene with delight." And now, where are the girls who will qualify them- selves for the honorable pursuit of teaching for " the safety of the nation ? " We need only allude to those kinds of manual labor which many females must perform for the general good. They are an essential service to be rendered to society, and therefore honorable. For them girls should be qualified much more tho- roughly than has been the case. The leisure moments which these callings afford should be devoted to mental and moral improvement. There is no reason why many a " serving girl " or " do- mestic" may not adorn her character with the grace of intelligence. It has been done. It may be done again. A GIRL'S MISSION. 69 We have incidentally spoken in this and a former chapter of female service on the missionary field. May we not urge the exalted work of a missionary upon the reader's attention ! Alas, how few of the young ladies of America contemplate with favor this sphere of Christian toil! With all its en- couragements for doing good, and all the rewards it presents, only here and there a solitary one has given the subject more than a passing thought. Although bright examples of sister spirits throw a halo of glory over the shores of India and the islands of the sea to allure them thither, they turn away from the sight, " fond of these trifling toys." But HOME is the great field of woman's exploits. Each girl should qualify herself to perform a good mission here. She may expect, at some future day, to preside over a home of her own. This is the case with most of the female sex. There are so few exceptions to the rule that no young wo- man can reasonably conclude that such will not be her own future experience. For this sphere, then, she ought to prepare. Every day and hour she should bear these prospective responsibilities in mind. Such preparation, cannot be left with im- punity for chance to decide. There is physical, mental, and moral culture, that is indispensable to the successful discharge of these home duties. Indeed, all the attainments that we have named 70 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUK WOMAN. as necessary for other spheres might be well em- ployed here. No one of them would be found useless. We have fo\v, very few, really happy homes, because so few wives and mothers h:i\ o been trained for the important places they fill. "Home is man's Ark, when trouble springs, When gathering clouds menace his morrow; And woman's lore, the bird that brings His olive-leaf, o'er floods of sorrow." It may be said that if a girl prepares herself for one of the spheres indicated, Providence may introduce her into another. Very true. But she will lose nothing by the attainments made. They will serve her a good purpose wherever her lot may be cast. If she qualifies herself for a teacher, and her labors are closed in that sphere by entering into matrimony, her qualifications to instruct will render her a more efficient mistress of a family. Mary Lyon studied for the teacher's office ; but, at the same time, she made herself familiar with do- mestic affairs, and such other duties as every woman needs to understand. In consequence she would have presided with dignity and success over a household of her own. As the wife of a farmer or a merchant, of a legislator or a minister, she would have excelled. Such attainments as we have men- JL GIRL'S MISSIOX. 71 tioned enable a woman to adapt herself to circum- stances. It is more necessary that girls understand what their mission is a the present day, on account of the preposterous claims set up for what are called u Women's Right ." The female character appears to advantage onl} in its appropriate sphere. Who can respect Joan >f Arc, the Maid of Orleans, who buckled on the f }ldier's armor, and went to the tented field ? H r remarkable prowess and bril- liant victories do ot atone for her breach of female delicacy, in the r> ader's view. So it is with such modern female r formers as Abby Kelley Foster. She has unseied '. erself, clamoring for " Women's Rights " on the public rostrum. Curiosity may induce many to Jsten once or more to her ha- rangues, but few i here are who can respect her on account of her ur womanly career. Contrast with either of these ch iracters Mary Lyon, the humble girl and gifted teacher. Follow her from year to year in her noiseless way of doing good, content to perform a woman's mission in the humblest walks . of life. How noble and queenly she appears in the contrast ! Gradually and surely her life assumes importance and grandeur, until the good and true on every hand pay her generous tributes of respect. She is dead ; but her memory is fresh and fragrant as a summer flower. 72 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. " But this is fixed As are the roots of earth and base of all Man for the field and woman for the hearth: Man for the sword, and for the needle she: Man with the head and woman with the heart; Man to command, and woman to obey; All else confusion." CHAPTER VI. A GOOD DAUGHTEB. CONNECTION BETWEEN A GOOD DAUGHTER AND TRUE WOMAN MARY LYON AN EXAMPLE OS 1 FILIAL LOVE AND OBEDIENCE' LETTERS TO HER MOTHER THE SAME WHEN HIGHLY DISTIN- GUISHED SOME CHILDREN ASHAMED OF HUMBLE PARENTS WHEN THEY THEMSELVES BECOME RICH OR FAMED CONFI- DENCE IN HER MOTHER'S PRAYERS ADDISON^S REMARK DISO- BEDIENT DAUGHTERS MAKE UNLOVELY WOMEN THE ROMAN TULLIA SOME MEN UNDUTIFUL DAUGHTER TURNING MOTHER OUT OF DOORS A ROMAN MOTHER NURSED IN PRISON BY HER DAUGHTER THE DAUGHTER OF CAZOTTE LATE MARRIAGE OF VICTORIA'S DAUGHTER GIRL IN NEW YORK WHO OFFERED TO DISPOSE OF HER TEETH TO AID PARENTS INCIDENT RELATED BY REV. MR. JAMES LINES. *( - * . - : .:-.. WE have noticed that all women of much em- inence were distinguished in early life for fidelity to parents. There are so few exceptions to this rule, that we may safely assert that there is some connection between a good daughter and a true woman. Nor is it difficult to discover the reason of it. For those qualities which are indispensable in a good daughter are particularly suited to the achievement of female success. A girl, who re- cognizes her indebtedness to parents, and ever accedes to their superior wisdom and experience, 7 74 THE GOOD GIRL AND TBUE WOMAK. who cultivates the spirit of true submission to pa^ rental authority, ever ready to aid a loving mother or a devoted father, possesses judgment, wisdom, foresight, and moral principle enough to ensure her success in almost any sphere. Mary Lyon was emphatically a good daughter. Her earliest childhood was graced by the virtues of filial love and obedience. Her mother's word was law. Indeed, she was rather distinguish- ed for being upon the watch for opportunities to assist her widowed parent. Nor did these fiKal virtues lose their lustre as she advanced in years. She was just as good a daughter at twenty as she was at five years of age, and as good at forty as she was at twenty. She never sacrificed the relation of daughter to the consciousness of becoming a woman. Her letters, after she left her home to study and teach, were imbued with the same filial love and devotion that characterized the conduct of her childhood. The following extracts from letters to her mother may be read as proof of this point : JULY 21, 1821. "Each passing day carries my heart homeTto you, my dear parent, and all my other friends, till I can no longer refrain from writing. Did you know how much my heart dwells on her who loves me with a mother's love, some of you, ere this, A GOOD DAUGHTER. 75 would have filled a sheet for my perusal. I long to see you ; but I Avill suppress my tender emotions, while I have recourse to my slow, feeble pen, as a poor substitute for the rapid conversation at the meeting hour of a mother and daughter conver- sation which stops not for thoughts. SEPTEMBER 25, 1825. " I have thought much more of you than usual for a week or two past. Although my situation is necessarily rather different from \vhat it was in childhood, yet you will not suppose that on this account I love my friends less. I sincerely desire that I may ever be saved from neglecting my early friends, especially my mother, to whom I am more indebted than to all others, except my Maker. When I think of my mother, I think of one who ardently and unceasingly desires my temporal and spiritual welfare ; one to whom I owe much that I can never repay ; one who never forgets me, and never forgets that I have an immortal soul ; one the benefit of whose prayers I have long enjoyed, and whose desires, I trust, are now every day as- cending to the throne of mercy in my behalf." The reader must recollect that when the last ex- tract was penned the author of it had become a popular teacher. She had spent some years in close application to study and teaching, and consequently 76 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. she was intellectually her mother's superior. Yet she still regarded her aged parent with the affection and respect of a child. In this she differed from many children who make superior attainments the occasion of neglecting parents. Sometimes sons and daughters become learned and renowned, and allow themselves, in consequence, to be ashamed of their illiterate and humble parents. Sometimes they become wealthy, and their riches cause them to be proud, so that they are mortified to refer to their poor, penniless fathers and mothers. How different with Mary Lyon, as the foregoing ex- tracts from her letters prove ! We might multiply extracts of this character were it necessary. There is one point, however, worthy of special remark, in this connection. She appears to have had great confidence in her mother's prayers. Whenever she felt the need of more grace and holiness of heart, she would sit down and write to her mother for a remembrance in her supplications. In many of her letters we find requests like the following : "My dear mother, I very much need your prayers that I may be revived ; that I may have clearer views of salvation by Jesus Christ, and of the wonderful manifestations of God's love in giving his only beloved Son to save a lost world." "Will you, ray dear mother, pray particularly for your children, that they may all be whotty de- A GOOD DAUGHTER. 77 voted to the service of God; that they may let their light so shine, that others, and especially those over whom they shall have an influence, may take knowledge of them, that they have been with Jesus ? How small a thing is the greatest worldly prosperity, compared with the blessing of true piety in those so near to your heart ! " My dear mother, I want you should pray for me in particular, that I may, from day to day, do my whole duty ; that I may know what I should do, and how I may do it ; that I may be so faithful to souls, as to free the skirts of my garments from their blood." She frequently asked her mother's prayers for her scholars; and when she commenced her la- bors in behalf of the Mount Holyoke Seminary, she earnestly besought her mother to pray for it, as if her supplications would be sure to give it suc- cess. Before it was at all certain that her plans would succeed, she wrote - " I want that you should pray for me, my dear mother, that I may in this thing be guided by wis- dom from above, and that the Lord would bless me, and make me a blessing." After success had crowned her efforts, and the location of the institution was determined, she wrote " Will you, my dear mother, pray for this new 7* 78 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAX. institution, that God will open the hearts of his children in its behalf, and that the Spirit of God may rest on its future teachers and pupils, that it may be a spot where souls may be born of God, and saints quickened in their Lord's service ? It is my heart's desire, that holiness to the Lord may be inscribed upon all connected with it, and that a succession of teachers may be raised up, who shall there continue to labor for Christ long after we are laid in our graves." What can be more beautiful than such childlike confidence in a faithful parent ? A daughter going forth to the stern duties of life, trusting in the sup- plications of her pious mother to bring down the benediction of God ! The gifted Addisou ex- claimed, in view of the devotion of a female to her infirm and aged father, " How have I been charmed to see one of the most beauteous women the age has produced, kneeling to put on an old man's slipper ! " May we not adopt a similar sentiment in view of the love and reverence of Mary Lyon for her mother ? How singularly appropriate and becoming to the female character ! There is grace and beauty beyond the power of rhetoric to de- scribe in every such example of filial trust. We are confident that every such GOOD DAUGHTER will become a good and useful woman. It is the sentiment of mankind generally, that such devotion A GOOD DAUGHTER. 79 of son or daughter to a parent foreshadows future excellence and distinction. There is scarcely an exception, while the opposite is equally true. Un- faithful children make unprincipled men and women. Their early disobedience is a sure forerunner of their after immorality and shame. We never heard or read of an undutiful daughter who be- came a gifted woman. But the reader may say, ' Why devote a chapter to a subject like this ? Are not daughters usually known for their filial regard ? There surely is no necessity for treating the topic at considerable length.' We really wish this sentiment were well founded, that daughters did not need counsel in relation to their filial duties. Bbt we have too painful evidence to the contrary. Although daugh- ters are usually more dutiful than sons, yet every community bears witness that many do not imitate the example of Mary Lyon in this respect. Nor is this state of things peculiar to our age. All ages and lands have had undutiful daughters. Some cases of almost fiendish wickedness are found among them. There was Tullia, the wife of Lucius Tarquinius, who did not exhibit respect for even her father's dead body. It lay across the street through which she was riding in her chariot, wel- tering in its blood. Her charioteer was about to stop his horses, when the unnatural daughter cried 80 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. out, " Drive on ! Drive on ! " The driver dared not refuse ; and as the father's corpse was crushed beneath the chariot wheels, the blood spirted upon the daughter's dress. The Romans them- selves were shocked by such base disrespect for a parent's lifeless body, and they named the street Vicus Sceleratus, or Wicked Street, to express their horror of the inhuman act. We are happy to say that history records few such infamous deeds on the part of daughters. Still we meet with disobe- dient and unloving daughters in every community. We have known them to disregard the wishes and counsels of parents in respect to attending parties of pleasure, balls, and other places of amusement ; in receiving the attentions of young men of doubtful, if not of really immoral character ; and even in marrying clandestinely, so as to escape the parental eye. In all these ways daughters fre- quently abuse the filial relation. We are ac- quainted with one instance of a daughter turning her mother out of doors. We have known of a daughter, (and more than one instance too,) grown to wo- manhood, upon whom devolved the care of a wid- owed mother, treating her with neglect, and even publicly speaking of her faults and singularities. But we have never known one with such an unfilial spirit to become very much beloved in after life, nor to develop a very pleasing character. . A GOOD DAUGHTER. 81 We attach no greater importance to filial love as an element of character that gives success, than history has always accorded to it. Marked exam- ples of filial devotion have always been recorded as tokens of future excellence and triumph. Roman history tells us of an illustrious woman who was condemned to be sti*angled. She was a lady of beauty and refinement, and the jailor was so much impressed by her accomplishments that he could not endure the thought of strangling her, so he re- solved to starve her to death. He consented, how- ever, to admit her daughter occasionally, taking care that she brought no food. Some days and even weeks elapsed, and the prisoner was not only alive, but appeared to be nearly as vigorous as ever. Upon watching the daughter more closely, it was found that she nourished the prisoner from her own breast. The fact was made known to the authorities, who regarded the act as worthy of public praise. They decreed that the prisoner should be released, and both mother and daughter, be supported at the public expense. On the spot they also caused to be erected a temple to Filial Piety. It is related of the distinguished Frenchman, Gazette, that he was imprisoned with his daughter, and both awaited their trial.' No proofs of the offence charged could be found against the daughter, Elizabeth, a very lovely and accomplished young 82 THE GOOD GIRL AND TllUifi WOMAN. woman, and she was ordered to be released. But the noble-hearted girl refused her liberty, and determined to share imprisonme t with her father. For some time the father was sp: red out of respect to the fidelity of the daughter. Jut on the second of September, 1792, he was summoned to meet death. He was led forth, and the axe was already uplifted to sever his head from his body. At that moment, Elizabeth rushed through the crowd, and threw herself upon her father's neck, exclaiming, " Strike, barbarians ! You shall not get at my father until you have pierced my heart ! " The hands of the murderers dropped, and they stood powerless. " Pardon ! " shouted one. " Pardon ! Pardon ! " shouted a thousand voices. Elizabeth was allowed to lead her father forth to liberty and his home. All such examples have always been regarded as indicative of a certain general excellence of char- acter, so that the actors have been thought to pro- mise a degree of distinction. In this light historians often present them. Probably every one who read the account of the marriage of Queen Victoria's daughter to Prince Frederick William of Prussia, was more or less im- pressed by one act* of filial love which heightened the interest of that impressive scene. When the ceremony was concluded, and the family greetings A GOOD DAUGHTER. 83 were going on, before the large assembly had re- tired, her Royal Highness threw herself upon her mother's neck and sobbed almost aloud. The scene was very affecting, and hundreds of eyes wept at the sight. How much that single act of filial re- gard contributed to the worth of the daughter's character in our view ! It is evidence of a certain excellence of heart and strength of mind, that pro- mise well for the future. That one act will cause many to anticipate that she will become her mother's equal. Nor can it be said that rank contributes any thing to the value of filial virtues. They possess an intrinsic value of their own, and neither position nor time can increase or diminish it. They are equally beautiful in the humblest walks of life, even among the poorest of our populous cities. The winter of 1793 was very severe, and the sufferings of the poor of New York city were unusually great. One family, numbering husband, wife, and daughter were without fuel and food for some hours, and death by cold and hunger stared them in the face. The parents Avere infirm, and the daughter had supported them for some length of time ; but now she could obtain no work. While she was sor- rowing over their suffering condition, she remem- bered that a dentist had advertised for sound fore- teeth, offering three guineas each for all he was 84 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. allowed to extract. She immediately repaired to his office, made known the condition of her parents, and offered to dispose of her foreteeth on his terms. Instead of extracting her teeth the dentist gave her ten guineas, and sent her rejoicing home. Who can doubt that there were elements in that girl's character, which properly developed, would have distinguished her in almost any sphere ? Still nobler, and more promising, is that filial love, which, like that of Mary Lyon, connects spir- itual realities with the tie. How charming is the course of a pious child like the one of which Rev. Mr. James speaks in the following words: "A female, who had been some years known and respected for her quiet, consistent, unobtrusive Christian deportment, called on her minister, to introduce her aged mother, who leaned on her arm, and seemed to repose on her that tender de- pendence which is so soothing and delightful to an aged parent, and so heart thrilling to a dutiful and grateful child. Both were overcome by their feel- ings, and it was some moments before either could speak. The minister desired them to be seated, and cheerfully said, " Well, Hannah, I suppose this is your good mother I am very happy to see her." " Yes," replied the mother, in broken ac- cents, " Her mother and her daughter too. Five and twenty years ago I bore her in infancy ; and A GOOD DAUGHTER. 85 now, through her instrumentality, I trust I am born to God." " Be kind to thy FATHER for when thou wert young, Who loved thee more fondly than he ? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, And joined in thy innocent glee. Be kind to thy father, for now he is old, His locks intermingled with gray, His footsteps are feeble, once fearless and bold; Thy father is passing away. Be kind to thy MOTHER for lo! on her brow May traces of sorrow be seen; . O well may'st thou comfort and cherish her now, For loving and kind has she been. Remember thy mother, for thee she will pray, As long as God giveth her breath; With accents of kindness then cheer her lone way, E'en to the dark valley of death. " CHAPTER VII. A TETJE 81 STEE THE FRATERNAL TIE MARY LYON AS A SISTER HER BROTH- ER'S FAMILY LINES SHE PUT INTO HIS WIFE'S HAND GRIEF AT HIS DEPARTURE FOR THE WEST LETTERS TO HER SISTER AND BROTHER ASSISTANCE TO HEB SISTERS TO HER NIECES IF GIRLS WOULD BECOME TRUE WOMEN THEY MUST BE TRUE SISTERS RELATION TO BROTHERS FAILURE AS SISTERS AT HOME FORESHADOWS FAILURE ABROAD REMARK OF DR. AL- COTT OF WASHINGTON IRVING OF ANOTHER WRITER HEN- EY MARTYN STRIKING EXAMPLE OF A SISTER'S INFLUENCE WHAT DO THESE FACTS SHOW? THE PRINCESS ELIZABETH EX- POSING HER LIFE FOR HER SISTER WIFE OF INTAPHERNE8 SAVED HER BROTHER INSTEAD OF HUSBAND FROM DEATH SISTERLY FIDELITY INDICATES OTHER VIRTUES "BE KIND TO THY BROTHER." IT is equally well known that eminent women have usually been true sisters. There appears to be a similar connection between the fraternal tie and future distinction, that exists between the latter and the filial relation. The virtues that are indis- pensable to a true sister are those which lead to usefulness hi the other relations of life. It is almost certain that a sister of this description will make a true friend, wife, or mother. For she has qualities that prepare' her for one, or all, of these relations. A TRUE SISTER. 87 She has had that regard to personal duty which is of priceless value in every situation. Mary Lyon was the best of sisters. She was ever deeply concerned for the welfare of each mem- ber of the family. Their happiness was her happi- ness. Her sisterly affection was unselfish and whole-hearted. She was willing not only to share good fortune equally with them, but even, to take the smaller portion herself. ' We have seen that after her mother's second marriage she became her brother's house-keeper. Within a year the brother was married, and there- after his abode was Mary's home until 1819, when he removed to Ohio. His removal was the cause of much grief to her affectionate heart. Just be- fore the family started for their "Western home, she slipped the following lines into the hand of her brother's wife : " Not one sigh shall tell my story, Not one tear my cheek shall stain; Silent grief shall be my glory, ' Grief that stoops not to complain. " She had become tenderly attached to his little children, and their departure was like sundering her very heart-strings. " Her friends that remained with her well remember her grief as they were borne away. For months afterwards, whenever 88 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUK WOMAN. that brother was spoken of in her presence, her tears would flow, and her silent and subdued feel- ings did not hinder her friends from seeing how deeply and tenderly she loved him. Little did she imagine that, in process of time, those daughters were to return, to receive instruction from her lips in a seminary founded by her instrumentality ; and, being better fitted to perform the duties of life, were to go forth, some to labor as teachers in our own country, and one to teach the benighted heathen under the shadow of a Chinese pagoda." The following extract from a letter addressed to one of her sisters gives us a key to her faithful heart : " Although I am pleasantly situated, and have no more cares and little daily trials than I should expect, yet it would be pleasant to spend an hour with one of my dear sisters, to whom I could tell all my heart. The fact that no two of our family, unless it be our brother and our sister Rosina, are spending this summer together, awakens emotions peculiar and rather gloomy. Ever since I heard of brother Moore's death, but more particularly for two days past, I have thought much of my brother and sisters. I have seemed to review twenty years with relation to ourselves. Change and revolution, uncertainty and disappointment, decay and death, are stamped on every object. I see this family, that about twenty years ago were prattling children, A TRUE SISTER. 89 united and happy in the arms of their fond parents, now scattered over four different States of the Union, and some of them seven hundred miles apart. " Let me hear not only from yourself, but also from my other friends. Separation does not lessen the interest I take in their welfare. When I think of the older members of the family, I also involun- tarily think of their children. I have the same kind of interest in their prosperity that I have ever had for that of their parents. Sometimes I feel that it would be a privilege to live, to render my- self useful to the children of my brothers and sisters." To another sister she wrote : " O that I could fly over the hills and pay you a visit. Friends know best the strength of their love when they are sepa- rated. If possible, I think more of you now than ever. But should I fill a whole sheet in describing my desire to see you, and the delight which would be derived from an interview with you, it would be saying just nothing at all ; therefore I shall leave all to be supplied by your imagination." The folio wing 'touching epistle was addressed to her brother : "SOUTH HADLBT, Dec. 3, 1840. " But a few years ago, we seemed an unbroken circle. Though separated from each other, we 90 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. seven were all living, and could think and pray for one another from day to day. After the hand of death was laid on our dear father, nearly thirty years passed away before any one of us was called out of time into eternity. Since then, how frequently have we been called to mourning ! How great have been the ravages of death ! You have heard of sister F^s departure, and now it becomes my painful duty to tell you that another one is gone. Yes, our dear mother is no more. My dear brother, can you think how lonely it was to me as I followed her dear remains to the grave, with no brother or sister by my side ? I felt that indeed our family was but a broken circle. As I passed out of the door where I have often met her glad- dened and joyful face, as I went along my way, where we have so many times rode together to see sister J., and as I looked on her placid face for the last time, ' Can this be,' thought I, ' my dear mother ? and is this my last visit to her solitary home ? ' " One of her sisters died at the hospital in Hart- ford, and Mary paid " all her regular bills, and the extra charges for nursing and watching." She did this in order that the small property her sister left might be divided among her children. " It is recollected," also, says another, " How she watched over the infant child of her youngest sister, which A. TRUE 8ISTEE. 91 died but a few days before its mother ; how she nursed it with her own hands, and ever spoke of it with animation, as in the infant choir above." Nearly all her nieces enjoyed her tuition one year or more at South Hadley, and to some extent they were aided pecuniarily by her. In a letter to one of 'them, she pledged her enough to pay her tuition at the institution, which was twenty-five dollars a year. In short, she was all that a sister could be to the family. Her presence in their circle was like that of a ministering spirit. Her going forth from them left sadness and tears behind ; her return caused joy and gladness. It was the same kind of influ- ence in other spheres that contributed to her use- fulness and distinction. She was a TRUE SISTER, and, partly in consequence, she became a true woman. Every girl who would occupy an enviable place in riper years must imitate her worthy example. It is the character formed at home that will exhibit itself when the duties of womanhood are assumed. The want of sisterly affection, and that high- minded aim and principle of action that every young woman ought to possess, will disqualify you for many of the most important duties. It is, then, for your own sake mainly, that I would urge these thoughts upon your attention. Generally girls are 92 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. instructed to act well their part as sisters on ac- count of doing good to others. We grant that this is no inferior topic to be considered, that it demands the attention of every girl. And yet, we now ask the reader to be true as a sister for her own sake. Her endeavors to be such will be a better discipline for future responsibilities than much that is learned in schools and in social circles. Mark that sister whose unamiable disposition, and utter indifference to the feelings and character of a brother, cause him to seek his pleasure away from home. She never dreams that she has duties to discharge to him. Perhaps she is vain and tri- fling, also; and he concludes that all the female sex are like her a conclusion that destroys his re- spect for woman, and thereby exposes him to more direful temptations. It is quite evident that the defects of character which caused her brother to seek his pastime in other company disqualify her to make a home of her own attractive at some future day. If she has not sufficient interest in the hap- piness and success of a brother, to lead her to . practise some self-denial, and study how to lead him, unsuspected, in the path of virtue, surely she will not have interest enough in the welfare of others to exert herself much in their behalf. Her failure as a sister at home foretells her failure as a woman abroad. A TRUE SISTER. 98 Dr. Alcott says, " I have seldom found a young man who had strayed long and widely from the path of virtue, who had enjoyed the society and influence of a wise and virtuous and attentive sister. On the contrary, I have almost uniformly found such individuals to have been in families where there were no sisters, or where the sisters were not what they ought to have been ; or to have been kept at school where there were none but our sex." Washington Irving says, " Often have I lamented that Providence denied me the companionship of sisters. Often have I thought, had I been thus favored I should have been a better man." " That man," said a keen observer of human na- ture, " has been brought up in the society of intel- ligent and virtuous sisters." "Whence do you infer that?" said the person addressed. "B cause," he replied, "he exhibits that gentleness and delicacy of feeling which result from the influ- ence of intelligent and virtuous sisters." The missionary, Henry Martyn, was brought to Christ through the influence of a pious sister ; and he confessed that it was her Christian example which made him what he was, after his conversion. A gentleman of considerable, celebrity relates that he was saved from ruin through the agency of an only sister. He had for some time associated with dissipated young men, of which fact the 94 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. family were ignorant. One evening he went home, and found his sister in tears over a letter. He beg- ged the privilege of reading it, to which she as- sented. The letter was from a friend, disclosing the evil course of her brother. He read it, and was about to break out in angry words, when she said, " I fear that for the last few months I have done little to make home pleasant to you. I have suffered my time and thoughts to be engrossed by pursuits in which you could have no share, and compelled you, in a manner, to look abroad for amusement. This letter has aroused me to a sense of my negligence. I feel that I am to blame for what is here revealed to me. You will forgive me, dear Edward ; I promise reformation, and we Avill be to each other as we used to be, will we not ? " " It is impossible," said Mr. , w r hen relating the circumstance many years after, "to describe the effect of these words. I had expected not reproaches, it is true, from the gentle girl, but what I dreaded much more a burst of overwhelming sorrow. How beautifully her meek, forbearing affection disappointed me, and to how much better purpose. It subdued me at once; called into action every nobler impulse of my nature ; and the resolutions that I then formed have, by the blessing of God, resulted in a course of life, which, I hope, has not been altogether useless, and con- A TRUE SISTER. 95 ducted me to my present position among my fellow men." Now, take the foregoing facts, and sentiments of distinguished writers, and what do they show? Not only that every true sister exerts a hallowed influ- ence upon her brothers, causing them to becdme better men; but also, a force and excellence of female character which promises a useful and charming womanhood. We can say, with Alcott and Irving, that certain virtuous and noble men were trained up in the company of model sisters ; and we can also say, with equal truth, of some princely women with whom we meet here and there, "they were true sisters in their earlier days." We are fully Convinced that irresponsible, gay, thoughtless sisters, as many girls are, could not make such womanly patterns of propriety and goodness. Although our remarks have had particular re- ference to brothers, yet they are equally applicable to the influence of one sister over another. For the same spirit, and the same noble sentiments, are necessary in intercourse with the latter 'as the former. , In addition to all that has been said, how beau- tiful is that unquenchable love which 'is ready to make sacrifices, and endure trial and suffering, for a brother's or sister's sake ? There ar<3 some im- 96 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. pressive examples on record, which the reader of history has always pondered with exquisite plea- sure, as among the charming things of earth. There was the princess Elizabeth, sister to king Louis of France, who is known for a signal act of sisterly affection. The queen, her sister, had be- come an object of contempt and hatred to many of the Parisians. Finally, a mob assembled one day, and broke into the royal palace, for the pur- pose of taking the queen's life. " Where, where is she ? Let us have her head ! " they cried, as they rushed into an apartment where the princess Eliz- abeth was. . " I am the queen," replied the princess. " She is not the queen ! " -shouted her attendants, as they hastened to save her from instant death. " For the love of God," exclaimed the princess, do not undeceive these men ! Is.it not better that they should shed my blood than that of my sister ? " Her devotion to a sister's welfare was truly mag- nanimous, although we would not endorse the de- ception which she practised to save her. It is also related of Intaphernes, that he was con- demned to death, with all his children, and his wife's brother, by Darius, king of Persia. His wife interceded for his release, and continued her appeals with such importunity, that the king finally said to her, " Woman, king Darius offers you the A TRUE SISTER. 97 liberty of any individual of your family whom you may desire to preserve." After some deliberation, she made this reply : " If the king will grant me the life of any one of my family, I choose my brother in preference to the rest." Darius was surprised at her choice, and sent her a second mes- sage as follows: "The king desires to know why you have thought proper to pass over your children and your husband, and to preserve your brother, who is certainly a more remote connection than your children, and cannot be so dear to you as your husband ? " She answered, " O king ! if it please the deity, I may have another husband ; and if I be depi-ived of these, may have other children; but as my parents ai'e both of them dead, it is cer- tain that I can have no other brother." The king was so well pleased with her answer that he released not only her brother, but also her eldest son. These are unusual examples, it is true ; but they better serve to set forth the strength of that fra- ternal love which God has implanted in woman's heart. All kindred expressions of sisterly regard awaken our admiration, and cause us to feel that corresponding nobleness, in other respects, must dis- tinguish the possessors. It is difficult to believe that this virtue is all that characterizes the actors ; for it is indissolubly connected in our minds with others of equal beauty and worth. It is only one bright '9 98 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. link in a golden chain of graces that adorn tho spirit of their womanhood. " Be kind to thy BROTHER ; his heart will have dearth If the smile of thy joy be withdrawn; The flowers of feeling will fade at their birth, If the light of affection be gone. Be kind to thy brother wherever you are; The love of a brother shall be An ornament, purer and richer, by far, Than pearls from the depths of the sea. " Be kind to thy SISTER; not many may know The depths of true sisterly love; The wealth of the ocean lies fathoms below The surface that sparkles above. Be kind to thy FATHER, once fearless and bold; Be kind to thy MOTHER, so near; Be kind to thy BROTHER, nor show thy heart cold; Be kind to thy SISTER, so dear." . CHAPTER VIII. AMIABILITY. A. JEWEL IN MART LYOIf'S CHARACTER NO GIRL SHOULD BE WITHOUT IT A SELFISH, JEALOUS, PEEVISH, ENVIOUS, VIOLENT SPIRIT, INCONSISTENT WITH IT REMARKS OP HANNAH MORE OF REV. J. A. JAMES EXAMPLE OP OCTAVIA OP MARGARET WINTHROP LETTER TO HER HUSBAND A WAGEK ABOUT WIVES IN A BAR-ROOM, WITH ITS RESULTS. IT would be quite impossible to find a single instance of an unaraiable temper in the whole life of Mary Lyon. Her character was adorned with that most becoming ornament, "a meek and quiet spirit." This is the more remai'kable on account of the en- ergy, decision, and perseverance, with which she prosecuted the duties of life. These qualities are often found in connection with a disagreeable tem- per ; while amiability is frequently possessed by the irresolute, stupid, and inefficient. For this reason it appears with threefold lustre in a char- acter of snoh force and magnanimity as that of Mary Lyon. It was this, in part, which invested her with a charm for every person who became familiar with her uniform spirit. It drew a crowd 100 THE GOOD GIUL AND TRUE WOMAN. of admiring friends around her, while it contributed to make her a welcome guest in the humblest and highest circles. No girl can afford to be destitute of this winning quality. She may seek the accomplishments of the " best society ; " but these will not atone for the absence of amiability. The want of a sweet, gentle spirit, will expose her to many temptations, whereby her impulsive nature will be disclosed. With fewer accomplishments of learning and manners, and a larger share of this lovely temper, she would find the way more readily to the hearts of those around her. There are several* kinds of temper among girls inconsistent with the one in question. There is the selfish spirit, which considers not the wants and circumstances of others. It claims for itself what- ever good it can secure, and keeps all it can get. Of course, it is a very unlovely quality in a world like ours, where there is need of heartfelt sympathy every day and hour. There is also the jealous spirit, which is neither happy itself, nor willing that others should be, Its likes and dislikes, more par- ticularly the latter, are continually manifesting themselves through the manners. There is the envious spirit, that looks upon the possessions and honors of others with a coveting eye, and even grudges to the good their shining virtues. It was AMIABILITY. 101 this contemptible spirit which made Human un- happy so long as Mordecai the Jew sat at the king's g'ate. In like manner it destroys the happi- ness and mars the character of many a foolish girl. There is a peevish and fretful disposition which exhibits itself at many a hearthstone. It is sat- isfied with few persons and things, and is ever complaining over passing experience. And there is the violent temper, which is more repulsive than all ; for^it is one of the worst blemishes of female character. Yet it is frequently seen among girls, to their no small discredit. All such tempers of mind, being inconsistent with true amiability, are a hinderance to female success in life. They exclude the possessors from some of the choicest company, and close against them some of the most desirable channels of influence. Hannah More penned the following paragraph upon this subject, in which she exposes some of the arts by which a really unamiable spirit is sometimes concealed : " A very termagant woman, if she happens also to be a very artful one, will be conscious she has so much tq conceal, that - the dread of betraying her real temper will make her put on an over-acted softness, which, from its very excess, may be dis- tinguished from the natural, by a penetrating eye. That gentleness is ever liable to be suspected for . 9* 102 THK GOOD GIKL ANI> TRUE WOMAN. the counterfeited, which is so excessive as to de- prive people of the proper use of speech and mo- tion ; or which, as Hamlet says, ' makes them lisp and amble, and nickname God's creatures.' "The countenance and manners of some very fashionable persons may be compared to the in- scriptions on then- monuments, which speak nothing but good of what is within; but lie who knows any thing of the world, or of the human heart, will no more trust to the courtesy than he will Depend on the epitaph. -^ ;*. " Many ladies complain that, for their part, their spirit is so meek they can bear nothing; whereas, if they spoke truth, they would say, their spirit is so high and unbroken, that they can bear nothing. Strange! to plead their meekness as a reason why they cannot endure to be crossed, and to produce their impatience of contradiction as a proof of their gentleness ! " These remarks are very just, and they will aid the reader to understand the nature of amiability, such as Mary'Lyon, and kindred spirits, have pos- sessed. It is not that kind of gentleness that runs into servility, for this is often -a dangerous weakness. " She who hears innocence maligned without vindi- cating it, falsehood asserted without contradicting it, or religion profaned without resenting it, is not gentle, but wicked." AMIABILITY. 103 Says Rev. Mr. James, in addressing young wo- men upon the value of this quality to a religious profession, " There are some persons whose bad temper is unassociated with piety, or, indeed, moral worth of any kind ; and they are wasps, hornets, scorpions ; all venom and no honey ; according to the degree of malignity they possess. There are others who have -real godliness, and some sterling excellence of otljer kinds, and they resemble the bees, who, though they have honey, yet are some- what irritable, and have also a sting for those who offend them. Cultivate, then, a lovely and amiable temper^ as one of the brightest ornaments of re- ligion. It is to religion what the burnish is to the gold, the polish to the steel, the fragrance to the rose, the sunshine to the prospect." There are many eminent examples of this virtue on record, two or three of which we shall notice. Octavia was a Roman lady renowned for her beauty and virtues. In no respect did she present a wider contrast with most of the distinguished females of her day than in her amiable dispositio^ Nought of pride, vanity, envy, or kindred malevo- lent feelings, were discoverable in her intercourse with the world. Even when her second husband proved recreant to his conjugal vows, and cast her off, there was the same sweetness and gentle bear- ing in her behavior as before. Through the wear- 104 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN'. ing grief of her heart, of which she died at last, there was clearly to be seen the evidence of a serene and lovely spirit, that won the hearts of be- holders. It was this quality, as much as any other, which so endeared her to the Roman people, that, after her death, they desired to pay her divine honors. Margaret Winthrop was the wife of the firSt Governor of Massachusetts. She WAS known among the principal women of her day for her equable, mild, and "happy disposition. In this respect she was a model for those around her. She had other noble virtues, for amiability is never found alone. A cluster of charming graces always keep it com- pany. But this appears to be the central excel- lence around which they revolve. It was so with Mrs. Winthrop, and her presence was greeted with delight everywhere. The following paragraph, which she once addressed to her absent husband, could be penned only by such a lovely spirit : " It is your love that conceives the best, and makes all things seem better than they are. I wish that I might always please thee, and that those comforts which we have in each other may be daily increased, as far as they be pleasing to God. I will use the speech to thee that Abigail did to David, * I will be a servant to wash the feet of my lord.' I will do any service wherein I may please my good hus- AMIABILITY. 105 band. I confess I cannot do enough for thee ; but thou art pleased to accept the will for the deed, and rest contented." It is related of a worldly man, that he w#s spending an evening with some friends at a coffee- house, when the characters of their wives became the subject of remark. As their heads were some : what inflamed with strong drink, the defects of their respective companions were particularly discussed. One of the number, however, spoke as follows of his wife : " As to my wife, all that I could say in her praise would fall far below the truth. My wife unites all the virtues, all the amiable qualities, which I can desire. She would be perfect if she were not a Methodist. But her piety gives her no ill humor. Nothing disturbs her equanimity ; nothing irritates her, nor renders her impatient. I might go with you, gentlemen, at midnight, and ask her to get up and serve us with a supper, and she would not show the least discontent. She would do the honors of the table with as much as- siduity as if I had brought loved and long-expected guests." ' Well, then, let us put your wife to the proof," said the others. Considerable money was staked as to the result, and, at midnight, the company started off for the trial. They reached the house, and the husband rapped, to which the servant at once responded. 106 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE W.MAX. " Where is my wife ? " he inquired. " Sir, she is asleep long ago." " Go wake her, and tell her to prepare a supper foi^me and ray friends." It was not long before the wife made her appear- ance, and met the company with a pleasant coun- tenance. "Fortunately," said she, "I have some pro- visions in my house, and in a fetv minutes supper will be ready." She was as good'as her word ; and the company were invited to the repast. She presided at the table, and bestowed upon the guests the most polite attention. They could not discover the slightest trace of a ruffled temper in her counte- nance. At length one of them exclaimed : " Madam, your politeness amazes us. Our sudden appearance in your house at so unseasonable an hour is owing to a wager. We have lost it, and we do not complain. But, tell us, how is it possible that you, a pious person, should treat with so much kindness persons whose conduct you cannot ap- prove ? " " Gentlemen," she replied, " when we were mai - - ried, my husband and myself, we both lived in dis- sipation. Since that time it has pleased the Lord to convert me to himself. My husband, on the con- trary, continues to go on in the ways of worldli- AMIABILITY. 107 ness. I tremble for his future state. If he should die now, he would need to be pitied. As it is not possible for me to save him from that punishment which awaits him in the world to come, if he is not converted, I must apply myself at least to render his present life as agreeable as possible." It requires the most complete self-control to cul- tivate such amiability as we see in the foregoing incidents. This is so much the better for the girl who is disposed to go and do likewise. CHAPTER IX. MODESTY. ITS CHARM CONCEDED BY ALL NATIONS SAMARITAN AND 8YB- IAN LADIES VIEWS OP WRITERS JAMES DR. ALCOTT BOLDNESS DESTROYS FEMALE INFLUENCE THE SCRIPTURES ON THE SUBJECT WOMEN OF THE BIBLE MARY LYON WAS MOD- EST AN UNASSUMING SCHOLAR A HUMBLE WOMAN THB NEW ENGLAND BEAUTY AT HOME AND ABROAD THE DAUGH- TER OF DR. BUMKY AND HER FA^IE THE WIFE OF PRESIDENT POLK, AND LINES OF MRS. STEPHENS WI FE OF JOHN ADAMS AND HER LETTER MOTHEP. OF WASHINGTON GATHERING OF FRENCH AND AMERICAN OFFICERS AT FREDERICKSBURG. MODESTY has ever been regarded* one of the principal charms of woman.' In all ages and nations it has held about the same rank and value. Even the heathen place it high among the feminine graces. Dr. Bowring informs us that the Sama- ritan, Syrian, and Mussulman females, whom he saw in his Eastern travels, were accustomed to veil themselves in public; and he was asked on one occasion, whether "the English women were so immodest as to walk out with uncovered faces?" Different nations may not agree in their sentiments concerning the nature of genuine modesty; but MODESTY. 109 none faJ v, n-r*-^m it highly according to their own views of its <'hsvacter. Says Rev. Mr. Jumes, " It must never be forgotten that bashfulness is the beauty of female character ; like the violet, which seems to court seclusion, and indicates its coy retreat rather by its fragrance than its obtrusiveness of color or of place, her very retir* ingness adds to he-' attractions. Any thing that would destroy this that would strip off this delicate veil of modesty, and make her bold and obtrusive ; that would thrust her, by an impulsive ambition of her own mind, upon the public notice, instead of being sought out for usefulness ; that would make her clamorous in her complaints of neglect, and imperious in her demands for employment would inflict an irreparable injury on society by depriving her of that passive power of gentleness by which her influence can be most effectually exerted in society." Says Dr. Alcott, " Of all the qualities appropriate to young women, I know of none which is more universally esteemed than modesty. And what has been, by common consent, so highly esteemed, I cannot find it in my heart to undervalue. In- deed, I do not think it has ever been over-valued, or that it can be." We have cited these opinoins of other writers, and we might bring many more to our aid, in 10 110 THE GOOD GIRL AND TUUE WOMAN. order to show that we do not attach undue im- portance to the quality under consideration. It is not merely an adornment, but it is a passport to the hearts and confidence of both sexes. A bold, forward, presuming woman, destroys her own in- fluence. She may be upon an errand of mercy, and be actuated by the highest motives; but a masculine forwardness defeats the object of her mission. She never inspires confidence. Distrust rather springs upiin her path. She will never occupy a high position of influence or usefulness, because she has laid aside that Delightful pro- tection and passport of woman modesty. Pv< - bably no instance can be found of an immodest wo- man becoming great or good in the estimation of mankind. Hence, this virtue is to be sought, not merely for its beauty, but also for its use. It is essential to the attainment of the highest con- trolling influence over society. No woman can be truly successful in performing the mission of life without it. K,-^ V The Scriptures make it a prominent quality. Paul, in writing to Timothy, expressed the desire, " That women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety ; not with broi- dered hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array ; but (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works." For this reason he taught that they MODESTY. Ill should be silent at public gatherings, and not presume to ask the public ear. Then, too, how charmingly this grace appears" in those women of the Bible whose names and characters are given ! Esther, Ruth, Rebecca, Hannah, Mary, Eunice, and many other Scripture names, are familiar to the reader. Is not modesty a marked characteristic of each of them ? With what singular propriety they occupy the p^es assigned them by Providence, content to act in their own sphere of retirement ! They present a pleasant spectacle in contrast with those modern female reformers who thrust them- selves upon public notice, and go from place to place haranguing a certain class of people, who are curious or foolish enough to become their listeners. Illustrations of .this element of female character are numerous on the page of history. It is a crown-jewel in the characters of all the most ex- cellent women who have lived. We have space for only three or four examples. Mary Lyon shall be our first. Enough has ap- peared already to show that this was one of her virtues. The instructors of her youth bear witness to her retiring manners. Although she usually ex- celled all other pupils in school, yet she seemed unconscious of her abilities. Her schoolmates could but observe the unassuming way in which she per- formed her intellectual feats.- Never forward to 112 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. speak or act, she was considered bashful rather than bold. In later life, when she knew, of course, that the public conceded her superiority in some particulars, she still maintained the same modest demeanor. At the time she was soliciting funds for the Holyoke Seminary, she was necessarily called to travel much, and to meet men of rank and wealth, and her mind was considerably exer- cised lest lookers-on should constpiie any of her acts into a breach of modesty. In some of her letters to friends, she speaks of the subject in a way that shows her high appreciation of this feminine qtiality. Indeed, without it she could not have been so successful as she was; for modesty itself makes a strong appeal to those Avhose aid is sought. And we might add that humility was found in connection with her modesty. These graces are frequently found together, perhaps al- ways, in females of such prominence as she. Mod- esty may exist without humility, but the latter cannot be without the former. In Mary Lyon both blended sweetly together. Some over fifty years ago, there lived a young lady in Portland, Maine, who was considered the flower of New England women. Her accomplish- ments were equal to her beauty. She was married to one Richard Derby, a man of high culture and splendid fortune, with whom she visited Europe. MODESTY. 113 Iii that country she received more marked at- tention than had been bestowed hitherto upon any American woman. Even, kings and queens were attracted by her elegance, grace, and beauty. Miny foreigners said she was the finest woman they had ever seen. Yet with all the praises and attentions lavished upon her, she was very modest; and perhaps it was her modesty which, in part, set off her other charms to so great advantage. That O O she should possess this quality in such circum- stances as fortune placed her in was a surprise to all, and it was a theme of frequent remark. When she was forty years of age, a writer described her thus : " She was thrown a child into the whirl of fashionable life, but she was always so circumspect, discriminating, and modest, that the enchantments 01 the Circean cup, so often swallowed to the dregs by the fashionable world, never poisoned her mind. If she ever put it to her lips, the virtues of her heart and the strength of her understanding were the antidote to the bane. After passing through half the splendid circles of the globe, on this conti- nent and in the new world, and the admiration of all, she is still as gentle, modest, bland and conciliating, as when she made one of the laughing loves of the nursery .... The sylph-like grace of that period of life, when she was culling the violet and chasing the golden-winged insect from one bed of flowers 114 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. % ; ' to another, is gone ; but that rich maturity of charms, when all that is desirable in person and dignified in thought and manners, are in full per- fection. These are the mature charms, which, on the banks of the Nile, won the mighty Roman's heart, and made him, throw away the world for love. Had I been Paris, and sat in judgment on Ida, Juno should have had the apple." Doctor Burney, an English "professor, and his- torian of music," had a daughter, Frances, endowed with a brilliant mind. She became distinguished in her youth for her literary accomplishments ; and yet she was not elated with pride. She wrote and sent to the press that far-famed work, EVELINA, without the knowledge of her father. It was issued as an anonymous production, and its appearance was hailed with unprecedented satisfaction. All who read it admired. The press was prolific in its praises of the unkaown author. Doctor Burney heard of the wonderful book, and he finally pur- chased it, and proposed to read it aloud to his children. Frances, of course, was as anxious to hear it as the others. When the last page was read, the Doctor expressed his opinion of it in words of unbounded praise. Other members of the family did the same. Frances could hold out no longer, and she burst into tears, as she threw herself upon her father's neck, and avowed herself to be the MODESTY. 115 author. The announcement was received with in- expressible surprise, mingled with delight. When the public learned who the author of the work was, there was no limit to the praises poured upon her. Such literary characters as Johnson, Reynolds, and Edmund Burke, sought her out as a literary pro- digy. Still she was not elated. She sought retire- ment rather than notoriety ; and it was probably this trait which saved her from being spoiled by fame, and made her a useful, substantial woman in mature life. The wife of the late President Polk was a wo- man of rare accomplishments ; and her modesty was not the least of her charms. It was to this quality particularly that Mrs. Stephens paid a tribute in the beautiful lines which she addressed to her, from which we extract the following : " There, standing in our nation's home, My memory ever pictures thee As some bright dame of ancient Rome MODEST, yet all a queen should be. I love to keep thee in my mind, Thus mated with the pure of old, When love with lofty deeds- combined, Made women great and warriors bold. " When first I saw thee standing there, And felt the pressure of thy hand, 116 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. I scarcely thought that thou wcrt fair, Or of the highest in the land ; I knew thce gentle, pure as great ; All that was lovely, meek, and good; And so I half forgot thy state, In love of thy bright womanhood." When John Adams was elected to the chief magistracy of the United States, his wife wrote to him at Philadelphia, and the following paragraph of her letter shows that both modesty and humility were traits of her character : "My thoughts and my meditations are with yon, though personally absent; and my petitions to Heaven are, that the things that make for peace m:iy not be hidden from your eyes. My feelings are not those of pride or ostentation, upon the oc- casion. They are solemnized by a sense of the ob- ligations, the important trusts, and numerous duties connected with it. That you may be enabled to discharge them with honor to yourself, with justice and impartiality to your country, and with satis- faction to this great people, shall be the daily prayer of your A. A." Another conspicuous exemplar of this grace was " Mary, the mother of Washington." That, with all her strength of character, and all the glory with which a grateful people invested her as the mother of their illustrious leader, she was singularly modest, MODESTY. 117 is the testimony of all chroniclers of American his- tory. She appeared scarcely to think of the dis- tinguished honors conferred upon her son in her intercourse with him or others. After an absence of seven years, in the great conflict for indepen- dence, he returned to pay a visit to his remembered mother. Towns and cities were prepared to greet him with more enthusiastic devotion than was awarded to Grecian and Roman conquerors in ancient days ; but no demonstration of respect and love caused the good woman to speak or act in any other than the most unassuming, modest way. She met him at the door of her dwelling, and embraced him by the endearing name of his childhood, GEORGE. She inquired after his health, and re- marked upon the traces of time and care upon his once youthful brow. She- had much to say about former days and former friends, but made not the slightest allusion to his glory. Subsequently there was a grand gathering of French and American officers in Fredericksburg, and it was arranged that Washington should conduct his mother thither, to introduce her to foreign officers, who were anx- ious to see her. Judging from European examples, they expected to behold a woman of proud and haughty mein, glorying in the triumphs of her son, and proud to be his mother. What was their sur- prise then, to behold a woman of the most unpre- 118 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. tending manners, arrayed in \he plainest garb of old Virginian style ! They showered attentions upon her during the evening, none of which ele- vated her in the least; and at an early hour she retired, remarking, that it was time for old people to be at home. CHAPTER X. CONSCIENTIOUSNESS. MAKT LYON'8 PUPIL ON A JOURNEY HER CONSCIEBTIOU8NE8S THE RESULT OF HKR TEACHER'S COUNSELS ItARY LYON'8 EX- AMPLE IN THIS KKGAUD SUE WAfl CONSCIENTIOUS IN GIRL- HOOD SOME A1SE CONSCIENTIOUS ONLY IN CERTAIN THINGS AN AMUSING CASE IN POINT MARY LYON AS CONSCIENTIOUS IN CHOOSING DRESS OR BONNET AS IN KEEPING THE SABBATH A BEAUTIFUL TRAIT HELEN WALKEB WOULD NOT LIE TO SAVE THE LIFE OF A SISTER INSCRIPTION ON HER MONUMENT ABSURD TO SAY DECEPTION IS EVER NECESSARY GIRLS OP POLICY CONTRASTED WITH MARY LYON GENTEEL LYING A WIFE'S NOBLE STAND FOR THE SABBATH ITS BENEFITS. ON one occasion a pupil of Mary Lyon was on a journey, when the following incident occurred. She was about going in a steamboat to a certain place, and was requested, with the other females, to draw lots for berths. There was no hesitation on the part of others ; but this young lady said, when it came her turn to draw, " I would rather not draw. If any berth is left after the other passengers are provided for, I will take it ; if not, very well." Her decided stand for the claims of her conscience was occasioned by her teacher's lessons upon the sub- ject. Miss Lyou's exposition of Proverbs xvi: 33, 120 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. " The lot is cast into the lap ; but the whole that class who have wealth and leisure to make full use of the day, and confer benefits on others. They were of that class whom the possession of external advantages makes of pernicious example to many, if these advantages be misused." What a picture of folly is here ! Yet it is true to the life; and a host of girls are being trained for just such foolishness. Excessive devotion to fashion, as we have hinted, destroys a taste for- intellectual and moral things. Its worshippers are among the unintelligent and thoughtless of the female sex. There is usually less knowledge of science and literature, of moral principles and the Bible, among this class, than there is among persons of humbler pretensions. It is not often that they discuss substantial topics, or read any volume but the latest novel. The girls who imitate their example, will be equally ignorant and worldly. That it engenders selfishness, and a consequent disregard of obligation to do good, we need scarcely add. As much has been implied in the foregoing remarks. Who ever heard of a slav.e of fashion threading the streets of village or city on missions of good, to the poor and suffering ? Are these the ladies to whom application is generally made for services in sickness and affliction ? By no means; for they are the very first to excuse FASHION. 167 themselves from watching and nursing, because the loss of sleep is injurious to their health, though they can spend whole nights in the ball-room, or at the splendid party of pleasure. They are never interested particularly in philanthropic and benev- olent movements. In their view, it is not genteel to distribute tracts, to gather poor children into the Sabbath School, and to pei'form other labors which Christian females delight to do. We may add, that, in every community, there are women who follow the fashions with some moderation, and yet they have little relish for / doing good. They can endure fatigue, and incon- venience, and part with all they earn, and sew and stitch, for the sake of being " in style ; " but they cannot exert themselves half as much in doing good. If they were compelled to submit to as much personal inconvenience and suffering in benevolent works, they would shrink from it ; for, notice what they cheerfully endure in order to be fashionable. They submit to having the waist compressed into half its natural size, thus impeding the motion of the lungs, and rendering the process of breathing difficult. They will suffer' their ears to be bored through in order to suspend therefrom golden ornaments, and their feet to be pinched with small shoes for the sake of graceful size. They are like the Greenland women, who tattoo 168 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. their bodies by saturating threads in soot, which they insert beneath the skin, and then draw them through ; or African females, whose most coveted ornaments are large brass anklets, and armlets of both brass and ivory, which very often wear the skin off the ankles and wrists. We wonder at the folly of these heathen females, and are surprised that they should torture themselves thus for the sake of appearance ; but, how is it with the fash- ionable women of this Christian land, to whom we have referred ? Is it not equally a torture to bore the ears, and endure other suffering, in order to be in fashion ? How does an American woman, who compresses her foot into a tight shoe, differ from the Chinese female, who does a similar thing to her little child ? If one is torture, so is the other. In New Guinea the nose is perforated, instead of the ear, to receive ornaments. How does this dif- fer, in respect to torture, from ear-boring ? If we should hear from some heathen land that the benighted people seized all foreign women who came to their shore, and first perforated their ears, in order to introduce a wire for confining them, and put their feet into cases that pinched them badly, and their bodies into machines that compressed them so as to render breathing labored, and then obliged them to walk the streets with enormous skirts sus- pended upon their hips, made heavy with metallic FASHION. 169 supports ; and, in addition, forced them to run the hazard of life by eating arsenic, as some young ladies do, to produce a clear delicate complexion ; I say, if we should hear of such things being per- petrated upon American ladies who visit a foreign land, we should call upon "the powers that be" to put a stop to such barbarities. And yet all this is done, in obedience to fashion, in our own land. What would these females say if they were required to submit to such things in the cause of benevolence? They would start back with horror, and wonder who could believe that Christ was the author of so cruel a gospel. It must be clear, then, to every reader, that such undue regard for fashion is an insurmountable bar- rier to female eminence. No girl who would act a noble part in )ife should allow her mind to become thus absorbed in the matter. If she would wield an influence, or make for herself a character akin to that of Mary Lyon, she must firmly oppose these extravagant demands of custom. With heroic independence she must pursue her convictions of right, let others do as they may. Not that we would have girls live wholly regardless of fashion, and observe none of the rules of refined society relating to this subject ; but simply avoid yielding to its control. It is quite necessary for them to observe the fashions to a certain extent, so long as 15 170 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. they recognize social laws ; but it is neither neces- sary nor safe for them to make it their goddess. It is against excess in the" matter that we warn them. " Her polished limbs Veiled in a simple robe, their best attire, Beyond the pomp of dress ; for loveliness Needs not the foreign aid of ornament, But is, when unadorn'd, adorn'd the most.' '.'"' Thomson. CHAPTER XV. D E E S S. CONNECTION WITH TWO PRECEDING CHAPTERS MART LYON on THIS SUBJECT DR. HITCHCOCK'S REPRESENTATION OP HER VIEWS HER VIEW LIKE HANNAH MOKE'S AND REV. JOHN NEW- TON'S OBJECT OP DRESS EXTRAVAGANCE THE BANKRUPT A BOSTON LADY'S LACE BILL COSTLY LEVEES GIVEN BY THIS CLASS POORER CLASSES IMITATE RICH A POET'S DESCRIP- TIONFEMALES IN ALL AGES AND NATIONS POND OP DRESS THE KAREN LADY WITH FIFTEEN NECKLACES THE PATAGON- IAN FEMALES BOY BOUGHT FOR A BUTTON EXAMPLE OP KING8 AND QUEENS COURT SUIT WORTH *400,000 NECKLACE GIVEN TO VICTORIA'S DAUGHTER COST 20,000 QUEEN ELIZABETH'S THREE THOUSAND DRESSES A FASHIONABLE WOMAN AND HER TWENTY-EIGHT TRUNKS DRESS PROVES A SNARE CONTRAST WITH A LADY AT WASHINGTON PRANCES MCLELLAN THK SCRIPTURES REMARKS OF REV. ALBERT BARNES LINES. THE last two chapters are intimately connected with the subject of Dress ; but it deserves a dis- tinct consideration. So much is said of it, and it occupies such a prominent place in the minds of girls, that it ought not to be passed without addi- tional notice. "We would not present Mary Lyon for imitation in respect to dress, although her views upon the subject were substantially correct. It must be granted that some more attention to apparel 172 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. would have contributed somewhat to her good appearance. Her theory and practice on this sub- ject did not always correspond. And yet her biographer says: "Her mother taught her to be honest, to be kind, to shun everything mean and wicked; but she did not take so much pains to drill" her in the most approved mode of standing, sitting, walk- ing, eating, and dressing. These she left to nature, who does not always teach according to conventional rules and forms. Her friends can afford to admit that she did not excel in the graces of the drawing r room. In her early and susceptible years, her attention was not turned to her appearance. The getting a thing done so engrossed her thoughts, that none were left for the manner in which it should be done. Perhaps no training could have educated her to live to be dressed and fed. Clothing and food were means, not ends, in her nomenclature'; and it does not seem as though all the principalities beneath the skies could have wrought her into a worshipper of the toilet. She was born to a different destiny. There seemed wanting, what teachers cannot give, a natural bias to that branch of study. Dress could not get between her and the sun. She did not feel above attending to it. On the contrary, she considered it a duty to dress conformably to DRESS. 173 her station. . . With Hannah More, she held that the 'perfection of the art is so to dress that no one will. recollect, two minutes afterwards, any- thing that you had on. She sought simplicity, neatness, correspondence. She often told her scholars that dress should answer to the age, employment, health, and position of the wearer, and to the season, weather, and the occasion. It cannot be denied that she sometimes fell short of her theory. Nature would get the better of rules. .... 'No gift from a friend or pupil was more ac- ceptable than a pretty cap or collar. In anything pertaining to school she" seldom asked counsel till she had made up ner own mind, and then what she wanted was approbation ; but in matters of the toilet she was grateful for advice. When she stood, before the glass, her thoughts were at the world's end, or above it. Her room-mate, in 1834, says she well remembers her standing before the mirror in their room, adjusting her bonnet strings, and saying at the same time, in an impressive man- ner, 'Well, I may fail of heaven, but I shall be very much disappointed if I do ; ' and then slowly and emphatically repeating, ' very much disap- pointed.' We have as little reason to complain of inattention in our dull scholars, as the dress-makers sometimes had who worked for her. 'You must find mind as well as fingers,' she would say. 'I 15* 174 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE WOMAN. expect you to do the contriving as well as bring the patterns.' " It appears from this extended quotation that she was not so devoid of taste, in the matter of dress, as many have supposed. Whatever her practice may have been, her views upon the sub- ject were like those of Hannah More. In the main, they were like those of the wife of John Hancock, who said, " She would never forgive a young girl who did not dress to please, nor one who seemed pleased with her dress." That is, she would have girls give such heed to their ap- parel as to appear neat, tasteful, and elegant, while they should not be excessively fond of this kind of display. This was essentially the view of Rev. John Newton. A lady once asked him what was the best rule for females to observe m dress, and he replied, " Madam, so dress, and so conduct yourself, that persons who have been in your com- pany shall not recollect what you had on." Girls should by no means be indifferent to their apparel. Dress is for the protection, and adorn- ment of the body. Neatness, taste, and elegance, should be properly studied in the selection of ma- terials and the choice of style. The female char- acter appears to better advantage by a degree of attention paid to personal appeai'ance. This can be done, too, without imitating the wicked extrav- DRESS. 175 agance that prevails at the present day. There are some facts relating to this extravagance which the reader will do well to consider. A writer says, " Not long since, a professional man, with an income, perhaps, of from two to three thousand dollars a year, on which to support him- self, a wife, and one child, became bankrupt. In- vestigation of his circumstances showed, that he owed about six thousand dollars, more than half of the sum being due to milliners and jewellers, for his wife's finery." - A respectable paper of Boston states that "the bill of a lady of this city, for 1854, at a lace and embroidery store, was two thousand dollars, and of several ladies at one of the dry goods stores of the city, between five and six thou- sand dollars each." It is this class of toilet-worship- pers, who give such parties as a writer describes in Philadelphia : " About two thousand invitations were issued, and the entire cost of the entertain- ment, I am informed, was in the vicinity of twenty thousand dollars, the bare item of bouquets alone costing one thousand dollars, which were dis- tributed in elegant profusion around her splendid mansion." A wholesale merchant importer, ad- dressing the American Women's Education So- ciety said, " You have got hold of a great matter. I hope you will succeed. The women are wrong, sir. They are not educated right. They are going 176 THE GOOD GIKL AND TRUE WOMAN. to bankrupt the country, unless there is a change. More is thought of show than stfbstance. We pay scores of millions annually for ladies' ornaments, which are of no, use. We are paying more duties on artificial flowers than on railroad iron! God help you to elevate the position and the aim of woman ! " One great evil of this extravagance among the wealthier class is, that it is imitated by those who are not able to meet such expenses. There is scarcely a country village where this wasteful imi- tation is not witnessed. It is not unusual for girls to earn from two to three hundred dollars a year in the straw business, and some other kinds of employment, and expend the whole for board and apparel. Every congregation will show one or more females who answer to the poet's description : " But who is this, what thing of sea or land, That 's so bedecked, ornate, and gay, Comes this way sailing ? Like a stately ship Of Tarsus, bound for the isles Of Javan, or Gadire, With all her bravery on, and tackle trim, Sails trimmed and streamers waving, . Courted by all the winds that hold their play. An amber scent of odorous perfume Is her harbinger, a dandy train behind. DRESS. 177 Some rich Philistrian matron she may seem ; But now, at nearer view, no other, certain, . Than a modern belle." "We are aware that this extravagance is not pe- culiar to the present age and country. Many wo- men in all ages and nations have manifested de- cided fondness for showy apparel and costly orna- ments. When Dr. Judson went to preach to the Karens, he found the females great admirers of ornaments. He said that he counted fifteen neck- laces, of all colors, sizes, and materials, on one lady. Three was the average number worn. . " Brass belts above the ankles ; neat braids of black hair tied below the Knees; rings of all sorts on the fingers; bracelets on the wrists and arms; long instruments of some metal, perforating the lower part of the ear, by an immense aperture, and reaching nearly to the shoulders ; fancifully con- structed bags enclosing the hair, and suspended from the back part of the head ; not to speak of the ornamental parts of their clothing, consti- tuted the fashions and the tons of the fair Karen- esses." Mr. Williams, the lamented Patagonian Missionary, said that the Patagonian women were " not without a taste for ornament. They adorn their hair with a fillet of sinewy threads, elabor- ately and not inelegantly plaited ; and on great occasions this fillet is pranked out with birds' * 178 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. feathers on bits of red cloth, obtained from the sailors. They are fond of bracelets and necklaces. These they make from shells and the small bones of animals; or, failing beads and buttons, from little chips of crockery." The mother of one little boy, by the name of Jimmy, sold him to an Eng' lish captain for a single bright button, in view of which the captain called him Jemmy Button. In ancient Rome women became so extravagant in providing themselves with ornaments, that a law was enacted, in the time of Caius Oppius declaring that no female should wear more than half an ounce of gold for ornament, and no dress of different colors in the city, or Nearer to the city than one mile. We might enumerate many more facts of this kind, were it necessary. We have adduced enough, however, to show that the femMe sex are fond of ornamental apparel. A word in regard to the same subject in royal courts. There is no doubt that the example of kings and queens, and that of their courtiers, has influenced inferior ranks of people, at least in Europe, to attach undue value to ornaments. Buckingham wore a court suit that cost about $400,000 ; Raleigh had a pair of shoes that cost $30,000. The jewels on the bridal dress of Prin- cess Caroline were purchased at the enormous ex- pense of $320,000. The furniture of their draw- DRESS. 179 ing-room at the Carlton House cost $100,000. When the Princess Charlotte was married, Parlia- ment voted $300,000 outfit, $300,000 annual in- come, and $50,000 for the private purse of the princess. The annual expense of the royal family of England is computed at four millions of dol- lars, and not a small part of it is expended for per- sonal adornments. A single necklace was pre- sented to Victoria's daughter, who Avas recently married, valued at $21,000. Queen Elizabeth was far more extravagant. At her death, three thou- sand different dresses were found in her wardrobe. They numbered all she had ever possessed, since she would never part with one. The Empress Eugenie of France had fifty-eight splendid dresses made previous to her marriage. Her pocket hand- kerchiefs cost five hundred dollars apiece. She recently appeared at a ball, wearing jewels worth $800,000, with flounces of lace on her dress that cost $20,000. Such is the example set by the crowned heads of Europe, and their regal families, in the matter of personal decorations". Yet, their extravagance is no greater, in proportion to their means, than what we behold in our own land, and among our own acquaintances. A friend informed the author that she saw a lady arrive at Saratoga Springs, with twenty -eight trunks for her baggage. One of 180 THE GOOD GIRL ANDTRUE WOMAN. the fashionable women in Philadelphia lost her baggage, and the advertisement that contained a description of the articles of apparel and jewelry, showed that her wardrobe and incidentals must have cost from^ve to ten thousand dollars., It is time that girls were instructed as to the folly and sin of such fondness for dress and orna- ments. How much more becoming to female character is less regard for ornament, and more for mental improvement and moral worth ! Be- sides, this love of costly apparel proves a snare to the soul, so that a heart thus wedded to display seldom aspires after noble things. A degree of vanity and selfishness, which are foes to womanly dignity and true excellence, is usually the conse- quence. In contrast with such examples of vain show, we love to contemplate the reply of a young lady, in one of the leading circles at Washington, to the compliment of a gentleman on the simplicity and good taste of her dress : " I am glad you like my dress ; it cost just seven dollars, and I made every stitch of it myself. " Or the still better example of Frances McLellan, a young lady of rare accom- plishments and piety. She moved in wealthy so- ciety, and received many valuable presents of jewelry, which she carefully laid away in a drawer. When asked why she did not wear them, she re- DRESS. 181 . plied, "I can look at them in my bureau as well as on my person, and I do not think they are becom- ing to me." Such a female has traits of character that will win for her an enviable position in so- ciety. , The Scriptures have somewhat to say upon tfeis subject, and their counsels should be heeded. "Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel ; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not cor- ruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." Rev. Albert Barnes has some valuable comments upon this passage, which set forth very clearly what is duty in regard to dress; and we shall bring this chapter to a close with a quota- tion therefrom : "It is not to be supposed that all use of gold or pearls as articles of dress is here forbidden ; but the idea is, that the Christian female is not to seek these as the adorning which she desires, or is not to imitate the world in these personal decorations. It may be a difficult ques- tion to settle how much ornament is allowable, and when the true line is passed. But though this cannot be settled by any exact rules, since much must depend on age, and on the relative rank in life, and the means which one may possess; yet 16 182 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. there is one general rule, which is applicable to all, and which might regulate all. It is, that the true line is passed when more is thought of this ex- ternal adorning than of the ornament of the heart. Any external decoration which occupies the mind more than the virtues of the heart, and which en- grosses the time and attention more, we may be certain is wrong. The apparel should be such as not to attract attention; such as becomes our situation; such as will not be particularly singular; such as shall leave the impression that the heart is not fixed on it. It is a poor ambition to decorate a dying body with gold and pearls. It should not be forgotten that the body thus adorned will soon need other habiliments, and will occupy a position where gold and pearls would be a mockery. When the heart is right, when there is true and supreme love for religion, it is usually not difficult to regulate the subject of dress." " God looks not at the clothing which we wear; All must put off their garments at the tomb ; The same sun shines on all ; the same sweet air Lifteth the beggar's locks, the lady's plume I " A. monument of costly marble shows The place where sleeps the lady fair at last; But in a nameless grave, in calm repose, Unknown, unloved, the beggar's form is cast. DRESS. 183 "Lone spot! yet all the lady's gems and gold Were vain to buy an epitaph more fair Than that, by God's own hand each spring unrolled, In flowery language 'bove the sleeper there! " 4 CHAPTER XVI. A LADY. LADY, AN ABUSED^TERM THE GAY AND FOOLISH CLAIM IT SOME APPLY IT TO FEMALES INDISCRIMINATELY WHO 18 A LADY? GIRLS THINK SOME NEEDFUL LABOR IS NOT LADY- LIKE GENTEEL TO BE IGNORANT OF HOUSEWORK THE WO- MAN WHOSE PASTOR CALLED TO SEE HER SOME YOUNG LADIES NEVER SEEN IN KITCHEN-GARB MAN WHO MARRIED A BEAUTY, AS RELATED BY ARTHUR WAS SHE MORE LADY- LIKE FOR NOT KNOWING HOW TO COOK A DINNER? ALEXAN- DER'S SISTERS CAESAR'S WIFE THE WIFE OF COLLATINUS OF TARQUIN MADAME ROLAND MRS. WASHINGTON AND VIS- IT OF LAFAYETTE THE WIFE OF GENERAL WASHINGTON VISIT AND CONFESSION OF MRS. TROUPE WIFE OF GOVERNOR CRITTENDEN ALL THESE WERE LADIES, YET PERFORMED HOUSEWORK MARY LYON A MODEL * HER WORDS AND PRAC- TICE LIKE SOLOMON'S TRUE LADY A GIRL'S EDUCATION DE- FECTIVE WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF HOUSEWORK KING JAMES AND THE LITERARY GIRL LINES OF MONTGOMERY. MUCH of the feminine folly exposed in the foregoing pages is perpetrated for the sake of being a LADY. Many women have very errone- , ous ideas of what constitutes a lady. In conse- quence, this term is one of the most abused words in the English language. It is applied by many only to those females who are enabled, by rank'and A LADY. 185 affluence, to maintain a certain style of living, including the gayety and affectation of the most aristocratic display. Those "who can set up some pretensions to honorable birth, and who pride them- eelves upon their manners and dress, take to them- selves this amiable title, while they withhold it from their sex of humbler condition, though superior intelligence and goodness may belong to the latter. There is also a popular use of this term, which applies it to the female sex generally, without regard to the qualities of mind or heart a use of the word which is well nigh as exception- able as that just noticed. Despite such uses of this graceful appellation, we consider that a female may be a true lady irre- spective of rank or fortune ; and that only those are worthy of the name who possess refinement and taste, propriety, and grace of expression and manners, and proper regard for the rights and feel- ings of others, together with those noble virtues of the heart which qualify them for diffusing a kind and genial influence through the social life, elevating thereby the lowly, and blessing the un- fortunate and distressed. It is not necessary, therefore, to go to Vanity Fair in order to be a lady. Nor is it necessary to be rich and fashionable, nor to be able to make display of jewelry and apparel, to be one. With- 16* 186 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. out any such ability, a girl may become a lady in the humblest walks of life. There is one error very generally held by girls, on this subject, which deserves particular atten- tion. It is the idea that certain kinds of labor are inconsistent with a lady-like bearing, particularly house-work. Hence, even girls who are obliged to toil for a livelihood endeavor to be very ignorant of domestic duties. In their view, it is rather dishonorable to know how to bake a loaf of bread, or make a pie, or darn a stocking. They are per- fectly willing that their mothers should be in the kitchen from morning till night, but it is not the place for girls, they think. They glory in the reputation of not knowing how to perform the most indispensable part of house-work. And the same is true of many wives and mothers, whose girlhood was developed under the influence of fashionable training. They would be quite morti- fied to be caught in the kitchen cooking or wash- ing. Mr. Wise gives an illustration of this foolish aristocracy, as follows : " Permit me to lead you into the sitting-room of a respectable and pious lady. She is neatly but plainly attired, and is busy, with the aid of a ser- vant, dusting and cleaning the room. The door- bell rings, and the girl hastens to see who is the -visitor. She finds the lady's pastor at the door, A LADY. j^. , 187 and, without ceremony, ushers him into the sitting- room. The lady's face is suffused with blushes, as she confusedly lays aside her dusting-brush, and offers her hand to the minister, saying, ' Sir, I am ashamed you should find me thus.' ' " Let Christ, when he cometh, find nie so doing," replies* her pastor. "'What, sir! do you wish to be found in this employment?' earnestly inquires the astonished lady. " ' Yes, madam, I wish to be found faithfully per- forming the duties of my mission, as I have fou4 you fulfilling yours.' " This was a just rebuke of the woman's pride. There are Such females in the Church of Christ, strange as it may seem. How they can reconcile their ignoble ideas of useful employment with the principles and precepts of Christianity, it is diffi- cult to see. It is probable that they are more com- pletely under the control of the laws of fashion 7 than the laws of religion. We have noticed that some young ladies are never found engaged in domestic labor. Call at their homes at any time of day, and you do not find them performing house-work. They are fre- quently found embroidering, making a lace collar, practising on the piano, or doing nothing. We infer that they seldom or ever attend to domestic 188 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAX. labors, or else that they suddenly quit the kitchen when the door-bell rings, lest they should be caught with a broom or rolling-pin in their hands. It is well known that many young ladies detain visitors a half hour in the parlor, before they emerge from their chambers, arrayed like Paris dolls. No person out of the families ever saw them in a kitchen-garb. The principal reason is, they think it is not lady-like. We think, however, that our young readers, upon reflection, will conclude, that a knowledge of household duties, even though a person may not have occasion to use it much, is more consist- ent with the character of the true lady, than the opposite. We do not say that every female ought to perform the house-work in her family. We would not have it so if we could. Many affluent ones are not required to do it. But we say that no woman is qualified to- be at the head of a family unless she knows how the family work should be done. Take the following fact, as re- lated by Mr. Arthur : " A friend of ours, remarkable for his strong good sense, married a very accomplished and fashionable young lady, attracted more by her beauty and accomplishments than by anything else. In this, it must be owned that his strong good sense did not seern very apparent. His wife A LADY. 189 however, proved to be a very excellent companion, and was deeply attached to him, though she still loved company, and spent more time abroad than he exactly approved. But, as his income was good, and his house furnished with a good supply of domestics, he was not aware of any abridg- ment of comfort on this account, and he therefore made no objection to it. ** One day, some few months after his marringe, our friend, on coming home to dinner, saw no ap- pearance of his usual meal, but found his wife in great trouble instead. " ' Wtjat is the matter ? ' he asked. " ' Nancy went off at ten o'clock this morning,' replied his wife, ' and the chamber-maid knows no more about cooking a dinner than the man in the moon.' "'Couldn't she have done it under your direc- tion ? ' inquired the husband, very coolly. " ' Under \ny direction ! Goodness ! I should like to see a dinner cooked .under my direction ! ' " ' Why so ? ' asked the husband, in surprise. 'You certainly do not mean that you cannot cook a dinner.' * "'I certainly do, then,' replied his wife. 'How should I know anything about cooking ? ' " The husband was silent, but his look of astonishment perplexed and worried his wife. 190 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. "'You look very much surprised,' she 'said, after a moment or two had elapsed. "'And so I am,' he answered, 'as much sur- prised as I should be at finding the captain of one of my ships unacquainted with navigation. Don't know how to cook, and the mistress of a family ! Jane, if there is a cooking-school any where in the city, go to it and complete your education ; for it is deficient in a very important particular.' " "We need not speak of the result, except to say' that it was good. But we ask the reader if this young wife was more of a lady for not knowing how to cook a dinner ? Would it not have been far more commendable in her to have been able to cook at such a time of necessity? We know that the reader will say, yes. If it is a woman's mission to be mistress of the family, then it is her business to know how to wash, and cook, and sew. Is a captain qualified to guide a ship, if he is igno- rant of navigation ? Is a man prepared to manage a large mercantile establishment, if he has not learned the merchant's business ? Would a Col- lege Faculty welcome a man to the Professorship of Greek^ who had never studied it ? Is a woman who has never known how to manufacture straw- bonnets, fit to oversee a straw manufactory? Then, what shall we say of the female who occu- pies the place of mistress of the family without A l-ADY. 191 knowing how the work thereof should be done ? We say it is a dishonor to her. She is less a lady for this inexcusable ignorance. In the days of Alexander and Caesar, it was con- sidered ho'norable for females to understand how to discharge domestic duties. The former wore an imperial suit that was wrought by the hands of his sisters. The latter proudly exhibited his costly robes and girdle, that were manufactured partly by his wife, and wholly under her direction. Colla- tinus once boasted of the domestic qualities of his wife to several princes with whom he was banquet- ing, and finally he laid a wager, that an unexpected visit would find her busily employed with her do- mestics. The visit was made, late at night, and the lady Lucretia, renowned in Roman history, was found spinning,- in company with her maids. Long after the death of the wife of Tarquin, her spinning implements, and a robe of her manufac- ture, were hung up in the Temple of Fortune, as a memorial of her domestic virtues. So has it been since that day. Madame Roland could prepare her husband's meals with her own hands, by day, and at night delight the most liter- ary company of France by her brilliant powers. Mrs. Washington, the mother of the General, al- ways attended to her domestic affairs, even in the presence of the most distinguished guests. La- 192 THE GOOD GIRL AN TRUK WOMAN. fayette paid .her a visit before his departure for Europe, in the fall of 1784. He was conducted to her mansion by one of her grandsons. " There, sir, is my grandmother," said he, as they ap- proached the house. Lafayette looked up, and saw her at work in the garden, " clad in domes- tic-made clothes, and her gray head covered with a plain straw hat, the mother of his hero." She gave Lafayette a cordial welcome, observing, "Ah, Marquis ! you see an old woman but, come, I can make you welcome to my poor dwelling without the parade of changing my dress." Mrs. Martha Washington, the wife of the General, was no less distinguished for her management of house- hold affairs. She was " a good seamstress, a good cook, and a good mother." She understood every department of domestic labor, and was ever ready to do what circumstances required. Mrs. Troupe, the accomplished wife of a captain of the British navy, once visited her, and she gave the following account of Mrs. Washington's appearance : "Well, I will honestly tell you I never was so ashamed in all my life. You see Madame , and Madame , and myself, thought we would visit lady Washington ; and as she was said to be so grand a lady, we thought we must put on our best bibs and bands. So we dressed ourselves in our most elegant ruffles, and silks, and were intro- A I.ADY. 193 duced to her ladyship. And, don't you think, we found her knitting, and with a check apron on! She received us very graciously and easily, but after the compliments were over, she resumed her knitting. There we were, without a stitch of work, and sitting in state ; but General Washing- ton's lady with her own hands was knitting stock- ings for herself and husband." Noble example for a woman of high position to set ! In such circum- stances, her checked apron was more ornamental than the " ruffles " and " silks " of her fair visitors, and her knitting-needles more becoming decora- tions than a profusion of jewelry. A good story is told of Mrs. Crittenden, wife of the first Governor of Vermont. Some gentlemen, with their wives, from Albany, called upon the Governor one day, to dine. When dinner was ready, Mrs. Crittenden summoned the work/nen, and all sat down together. The visitors were very aristocratic, and one of the females said to Mrs. Crittenden, after retiring from the table : " You do not usually have your hired laborers sit down at the first table, do you ? " " Why, yes, madam," replied Mrs. Crittenden ; " we have thus far done so, but are now thinking of making a different arrangement. The Governor and myself have been talking the matter oi&er a little, lately, and come to the conclusion that the men, who do 17 194 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. nearly all the hard work, ought to have the first table ; and that he and I, who c.o so little, should be content with the second. Eut, in compliment to you, I thought I would have you sit down with them to-day at the first table" We will not multiply illustrations, though we might add the example of many more eminent females. What is there in the domestic habits of the women enumerated inconsistent with being a lady? Was it disgraceful to those distinguished persons to be found attending to house-work ? Not in the least. Why, then, is it dishonorable for fe- males to follow such illustrious examples? No young lady need fear to follow in the steps of Mrs. Washington. She will not have less character for so doing. She will be a more accomplished lady. Mary Lyon was a true lady, after the pattern of theJRoman Lucretia and Mrs. Washington. It was not unladylike, in her estimation, to know how to prosecute any useful work. The school in which she was reared from 'infancy was much like that in which Martha Washington was trained. We have seen that she labored with her own hands, spinning, sewing, and doing the entire work of a farm-house. In 1827 and 1828 she wore a "blue fulled cloth habit," at Deny and Ipswich Academies, which she spun and wove herself. She once wrote, "Let a young A LADY. 195 lady despise household duties, and she despises the appointments of the Author of her existence. The laws of God, made known by nature and by Providence, and also by the Bible, enjoin these duties on the sex, and she cannot violate them with impunity. Let her have occasion to preside at the head of her own family and table, and she may despair of enjoying herself, or of giving to others the highest degree of domestic happiness." The Mount Holyoke Seminary was conducted upon the principle of making girls familiar with family work. On the whole, Miss Lyon, in her domestic habits, intelligence, dignity, and good- ness, reminds us of Solomon's description of a true lady : " She seeketh wool and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hands to the poor ; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom ; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her child- ren rise up and call her blessed ; her husband, also, and he praiseth her." No girl can become a true lady without knowl- edge of household duties. Whatever may be her 196 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. literary proficiency, and her social qualities, with- out the ability to do housework, if necessity de- mand, her education is defective. A young girl was presented to James I. as a prodigy in literary attainments. The person who introduced her boasted that she understood the ancient languages. "I can assure your Majesty," said he, "that she can both speak and write Latin, Greek, and He- brew." "These are rare attainments for a dam- sel," said James; "but, pray tell me, can she spin?" She might be familiar with the lore of ages, but without a knowledge of household duties, she lacked an important acquisition. So we ask of the richly attired and accomplished young woman, who can read French, thrum the piano, and move bewitchingly in fashionable company, can she do housework ? If she cannot, she is not a model lady. " There is a spot of earth supremely blest, A dearer, sweeter spot than all the rest ; Here woman reigns ; the mother, daughter, wife, Strews with fresh flowers the narrow way of life : Around her knees domestic duties meet, And fireside pleasures gambol at her feet." Montgomery. a CHAPTER XVII. A BEAUTIFUL FACE. LITERARY WOMEN HOMELY BEAUTIFUL FEMALES VAIN HYPA- TIA ANNA COMNENA MADAM DE 8TAEL MADAM NECKER, MARY LYON, AND JOHN WILKES LATTER TALK AWAY HOME- LINESS IN FIVE MINUTES BEAUTY HAS ITS PLACE BEAUTY- WORSHIP TO BE CONDEMNED GIRLS WHO ADORE IT UNFIT FOR NOBLE THINGS THE YOUNG LADY WITH SMALL-POX QUEEN ELIZABETH HAD MIRRORS REMOVED A USELESS BELLE LIKE JAPANESE FEMALES AND THOSE OF GREEN- LAND A FATHER'S COUNSEL TO A HANDSOME sou AND HOME- LY 'DAUGHTER SHOULD BE HEEDED. MAKY LYOJT had not personal beauty ; and it is often the case, we believe, that literary women are not beautiful. For some reason God does not see fit to unite great beauty and extraordinary intel- lect, except in certain rare instances. Perhaps a beautiful face wquld render the possessor so vain that the discipline of the mind would be neg- lected. It is certain that many females of great beauty are light and vain, and consequently have little disposition to attend to the solid parts of an education. Therefore God may be pleased to spare literary womeji the trying ordeal of beauty, that the intellect may be highly cultivated. Hy- 17* 108 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. patia, the daughter of Pheon, known by her prom- inent connection with the Alexandrian school, and by her world-wide fame for learning and wisdom, was a brilliant exception to the rule. So also was Anna Comnena, who wrote the Alexiad, and shone conspicuously in Grecian literature. Both were celebrated for their beauty. Madame De Stael and Madame Necker, on the other hand, were destitute of it. Mary Lyon ranked well with the latter in this respect, yet she won the admiration of all sensible people. Like John Wilkes, who was as homely as he was popular, it took her but " five minutes to talk away her face." No one could be long in her society without being impressed with the inferiority of beauty to some other quali- ties. And this fact indicates the relative value of a beautiful face. We would not be so foolish as to pronounce it not worth possessing, for this would be to despise the work of God. If we look around us in the face of nature, we are struck with the beauty that is everywhere displayed. With almost lavish hand, God has added this quality to the countless objects of creation. From the blush- ing flower that perfumes the lowly vale, to the bright star that sparkles in night's diadem, it ap- pears. It is no valueless thing that God so honors. He who would disparage beauty has not been charmed by it in the works of nature. A BEAUTIFUL FACE. 199 Female beauty does attract the eye of be- holders. By general consent, a beautiful woman is the noblest work of God. It is only when beauty is found in conjunction with pride and vanity, ignorance and boldness, or suspected or known impurity, that it ceases to attract, and be- comes an evil. That beauty-worship which is so prevalent among both sexes, leading females to re- sort to various measures for producing a fair face, and inducing males ^to choose wives for beauty alone, is highly censurable. It is the occasion of incalculable misery to the human family. A girl who is proud of a pretty face is almost sure to resort to those disgusting vanities of life which disqualify her for anything noble. We have read of a young lady who was attacked by that loath- some disease the small-pox. She had a beautiful face, of which she was extremely proud, as was also her mother. The only regret either of them was heard to utter was, that it would destroy her beauty. Even when the disease had become so violent as to render her recovery doubtful, no anxiety was manifested for the welfare of her soul, but much solicitude was expressed for her personal beauty. Inexorable death put a period to the scene, and her charms perished in the grave. What strange infatuation is this ! And yet there are multitudes thus vain of a handsome face. 200 THB. 0OOD GIKL AND TRUE WOMAN. Neither are they found among young girls alone, for many females of rank and age have been so weak. It is said that Queen Elizabeth, with all her learning, was very much troubled on account of her homely face. At one time she became so nervous and mortified by looking into the mirrors, that she ordered her maids of honor to remove them, and for a long period she did not look into a glass. Once she issued a proclamation, ordering all portraits of herself to be destroyed, and forbid- ing artists, save " especial cunning painters (flat- terers) to draw her likeness." This is an extreme case, we grant, but it nevertheless illustrates the foolishness of some females in regard to an attrac- tive face. Beauty is never of particular value to a girl, in performing her mission, except when it is held subordinate to other more substantial qualities. A mere belle, however beautiful she may be, pos- sessing no higher qualities than commonly belong to this class, does not leave the world better than she found it. Her aim is akin to that of Arabian females, who paint their eyebrows black, and their lips blue ; or those of Greenland, who color their cheeks blue and yellow; or the ladies of Japan, who gild their teeth and pluck their eyebrows in order to appear beautiful. We admire a Green- land lady painting her cheeks yellow, as much as m , A BEAUTIFUL FACE. 20X an American belle painting hers vermilion. The aim of both is the same ; and their influence is not very dissimilar. The case is still worse with the coquette, whose purity of heart is always to be suspected. If she possesses charms of counten- ance sufficient to win admirers, she becomes a character to be shunned. Girls should never sac- rifice their modesty by making their beauty the occasion of a belle's folly or a coquette's sin. The counsel of a certain father to his son and daughter, the former of whom was handsome, and the latter very plain, presents this subject in a pleasant light. The son boasted of his beauty in the presence of his sister, who construed his words into a reflection upon her plainness, and entered complaint against him to her father. The father called them both aside, and counselled them as follows : " I would have you both look in the glass every day; you, my son, that you may be reminded never to dishonor the beauty of your face. by the deformity of your actions; and you, my daughter, that you may take care to hide the plainness of your person by the superior lustre of your virtuous and amiable conduct." We would impress the excellent counsel of this father upon the reader's mind. If God has given you a beautiful face, express your gratitude by cultivating the purest graces of the heart; for 202 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAlf.. personal beauty is far more attactive when exalted virtue accompanies it. On the other hand, if this gift of nature is not yours, it is more necessary that mental and moral acquisitions should be made, that you may be agreeable and admired. But, after all that can be said in favor of a Beautiful Face, it must be conceded that a Beau- tiful Soul, which is the subject of the next chap- ter, is a far higher acquisition. CHAPTER XVIII. A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. MART LYON'S HEART-QUALITIES HER SYMPATHY AND BENEVO- LENCE AIDED HER GIRLS IN GETTING EDUCATION THE COL- LEGE STUDENT HER TEACHINGS ON BENEVOLENCE THE GIRL'S SPENDING-MONEY THE FARM IN NEW YORK BENEVO- LENCE OF GOSPEL HER CONTROLLING PRINCIPLE FLORENCE SIGHTING ALE IN THE CRIMEAN WAR EDUCATED BY HER PA- RENTS IN BENEVOLENCE WIFE OF JOHN HOWARD A LADY'S PAINTINGS GIVEN TO CHARITY QUEEN ANNE BOLEYN TWO BISTERS WHO EARNED ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR MISS LYON DORCAS ALL HAD BEAUTIFUL SOULS ORNAMENTS OF THE SPIRIT WAYS OF DOING GOOD RELIEVING THE POOR IN SABBATH SCHOOL THE SEWING CIRCLE TEMPERANCE CAUSE MISSIONARY WORK SUCH EFFORTS WIN CONFIDENCE THH HERMIT AND HIS WELL. ALTHOUGH Mary Lyon had a homely face, yet she had a BEAUTIFUL SOUL. She possessed those fine heart-qualities which are a richer orna- ment to female character than beauty or jewels. "We have spoken hitherto of some of these quali- ties, and need not refer to them again. We refer now to that sympathy with the suffering and needy; that ever-living kindness and generosity; that desire to do good, and to make others happy; in a word, that spirit of true benevolence, that 204 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. was the motive-power of .her self-denying efforts. In N this regard, few were her equals none her superiors. Her own struggles for an education made her understand the struggles of others in like circum- stances, so that she deeply sympathized with them. Many poor girls were aided from her own purse. One day a young man, who was making an effort to get through college, defraying his own ex- penses, called upon her for acquaintance or rela- tion -sake, and, ds he was leaving, she slipped a five-dollar bill into his hand, remarking, at the same time, "that he would need it in paying his college bills." This is only one of many similar instances, where the kindness and generosity of her heart appeared. Self-denial was a pleasure to her; and she was accustomed to impress the duty of practising it upon her pupils. She would often say, " Some people think that no one is any poorer for giving to the Lord. If they mean poorer in a spiritual point of view, I agree with them, but not when they say poorer in property ; for I do believe the Christian ought to give to the Lord, so as really to feel the need of what he gives a precious reward to suffer for Christ." When she commenced her collections in Ipswich, in behalf of the new Female Seminary, she would say to the females of whom she solicited aid, " If A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. 205 you wanted a new shawl or bonnet, or a new carpet, would you not contrive to get it in some way?" When the subject of adding a new arti- cle to her wardrobe came up, she always asked, "What is duty?" " Can I do without it?" When her labors commenced in behalf of the new Sem- inary, she had some twelve or fifteen hundred dollars of her own, all of which she spent in pros- ecuting the enterprise. And when the teachers' salaries at Holyoke were fixed, she suggested that they should be graduated upon the principle of economy, and that teachers should understand that they must go elsewhere if they would teach for hire. She proposed that her own salary should be no more than two hundred dollars, although she might have commanded two or three times that amount in almost any flourishing institution. Her practice was consistent with the lessons which she imparted to her scholars." She was so successful in impressing the duty of self-denial upon them, that very many made it a rule to give to charitable objects all the " spending-money " which they brought with them to lay out in con- fectionery and nicknacks. Higher and nobler aspirations were created in the hearts of many. Some would go home to plead with their parents for permission to go to a destitute field in the West, or elsewhere, to teach ; or, perhaps, to go 18 206 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. abroad upon a mission to the perishing. Fathers and mothers would say, "Why do you want to go away ? Is not your father's house a pleasant home to you ? Is there anything you want that you do not have? Why do you wish to leave us ? " , The secret of their benevolent spirit was found in the example and teachings of Miss Lyon. In the year 1841 she visited some of her near relatives in the western part of New York. She found them somewhat distressed in their temporal circumstances. Misfortune and sickness had re- duced their pecuniary means, and their homestead was about being sold at auction. Miss Lyon at once "redeemed the farm, took the deed in her own name, gave them a life-lease of the spot, and on their death it is bequeathed, by her last will and testament, to the American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions." During the last years of her life, she gave away half of her income. These facts, in connection with others in fore- going .chapters, are sufficient to show that true sympathy and benevolence were leading quali- ties of \er soul. Perhaps her success is to be ascribed more to the fact that she made the be- nevolence of the gospel the controlling principle <>f Mfe. than to any other one element of charac- A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. 207 ter. This gave her a consciousness of being right, which usually begets fortitude, self-reliance, en- ergy, hope, and perseverance. Having no pride or unholy ambition to be disappointed, and no special selfish interest to promote, she had nothing to do but to press on in the work of doing good. Noble aim ! Beauty alone has not attractions so exalted as such a soul. Contrasted with the belle,, whose " pretty face " is her principal charm, such a one is really an angel of mercy ! "As the rivers farthest flowing, In the highest hills have birth; , As the banyan broadest growing, Oftenest bows its head to earth So the noblest minds press onward, Channels far of good to trace ; So the largest hearts bend downward, Circling all the human race." We shall now call the reader's attention to other illustrations of a beautiful soul. There is Florence Nightingale, whose heroic deeds in behalf of the suffering and wounded soldiers of the Crimean war have i>een told to her praise in every land. One says, " Her deeds of love are among the few redeeming features of the war in the East, and her memory will be pre- served and cherished when that of the captains 208 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE WOMAN. and warriors, whose names are written in blood, is forgotten." In early life she lived near the peasantry of the counties of Hampshire and Der- byshire, in England ; and it was part of the busi- ness of herself and sister to visit the cottages of the poor, and carry food to the hungry, and deli- cacies to the sick. Her father was wealthy, but .he considered that kindness and true benevolence were jewels in the characters of sons and daugh- ter; therefore, he schooled Florence in this way of blessing others. She grew up with a heart for philanthropic deeds. Her attention was early Di- rected to the condition of the sick poor in hos- pitals, and she repaired to the institution for train- ing nurses, at Rurserswerth, in Prussia, where she went through a course of medical study. Subse- quently she accepted the office of matron of a ladies' hospital in London. While in the midst of great usefulness, the war with Russia began, and she was easily persuaded to accept the office of superintendent of the nursing department. No language can do justice to her self-sacrificing toils in the hospitals of Scutari, and in other places where the sick and wounded were found. "When she returned to England, a grateful public show- ered their praises upon her; and, as an expression of regard, a large sum of money was presented to her. In the exercise of that humane and be- A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. 209 nevolent spirit which had always characterized her life, she devoted every dollar of the money received to establish an institution for the educa- tion of nurses. The wife of the great philanthropist, Howard, was a woman of very kind and benevolent feel- ings. On settling his accounts one year, he was happily surprised to find quite a balance in his favor, and he proposed to his wife to spend the money on a tour of pleasure. She replied, "What a beautiful cottage . for a poor family might be built with that money!" Howard thought so, too; and the money was accordingly spent in that way. We have read of a lady, who was highly edu- cated in early life, having acquired a knowledge of both solid and ornamental studies. She was mar- ried to an intelligent, worthy gentleman, whose pecuniary means were somewhat limited. It was not until after her marriage that she became a Christian, and then her heart was turned to ob- jects of charity. As she could not command all tne money that she wanted for benevolent objects, suj made use of some of her early acquisitions to obtain it. She received pupils to instruct in music, and also employed her skill in painting some fine pieces, which she readily sold among her acquaintances. All the avails of these efforts 18* 210 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. she sacredly devoted to charitable purposes. In the course of several years her contributions to various objects amounted to several hundred dol- lars. This was certainly a very commendable use to make of her acquaintance with music and painting. Very few girls, educated as she was, turn their ornamental culture to so good account. The unfortunate Queen Anne Boleyn, whose cruel persecution and sufferings in the Tower are well known, was so kind and generous of heart that she won friends on every hand. Every morning she provided herself with a purse, the contents of which she distributed among the poor. She considered that no day was well spent with- out some deeds of charity. When Miss Lyon was collecting funds for the Mount Holyoke Seminary, two sisters in mod- erate circumstances subscribed one hundred dol- lars. Before the time of payment arrived, a reverse of fortune swept away all they possessed. Miss Lyon, becoming acquainted with their mis- fortune, -did not expect they would pay the sub- scription; but they insisted upon so doing, as a blessed privilege. They set to work to earn the money, and persevered until the subscription of a hundred dollars was paid. It *is an unusual example of self-denial and cheerful giving. The Scriptures contain a bright record of a A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. 211 female, whose humble condition would have ren- dered her unknown to fame, but for her noble spirit. The account of her is : " This woman was full of good works and alms-deeds, which she did." It was Dorcas. One of the ways which she adopted for doing good, was the making of "coats and garments" for "the widows." Her name is associated with works of charity, by which she evidently endeared herself to a large number of the poor. Her death was followed by such demonstrations of grief as are expressed only over the remains of the truly sympathetic and benevolent. " Then Peter arose, and went with them. When he was come, they brought him into the upper chamber \jmnd all the widows stood by him, weeping, and showing the coats and gar- ments which Dorcas made, while she was with them" Those tears were a better eulogy upon the life and character of the deceased than language can frame. The woman who so lives that the poor and distressed around her will shed tears of unfeigned sorrow at her death, has not lived in vain. Her life is far brighter and better than that of the rich and worldly daughters of pleasure. The soul of Dorcas is more attractive than the face of a handsome belle. A beautiful soul was the possession of all these females. This has been the verdict of mankind. 212 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. Although they were not perfect women, yet their defects of character were scarcely noticed, on ac- count of the habitual kindness and love that dis- tinguished their daily walk. Their souls were adorned with graces that always challenge respect. To most of them the language of Mr. James, in commenting upon a passage of Scripture, is ap- plicable : " It is the decoration of the soitl, rather than of the body, about which Christian women should be chiefly solicitous ; and about the orna- ments that are suitable to its own nature. The soul is indestructible and immortal so should its ornaments be. What can jewels of silver or jewels of gold do for this? Can the diamond sparkle upon the intellect? or the ruby blaze upon the heart ? or the pearl be set in the conscience ? or the gorgeous robe clothe the character ? or the feather or the flower wave over the whole renewed and holy nature? No! The appropriate orna- ments of the soul are truth, holiness, knowledge, faith, hope, love, joy, humility, and all the other gifts and graces of the spirit ; wisdom, prudence, fortitude, and gentleness, these are the jewels with which the inner man should be adorned. The outer man is corruptible. Dust it is, and unto dust it shall return. That beautiful woman, glittering in all the profusion of diamonds, the admiration and envy of the court or the ball- A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. 213 room, must ere long be a mass of putrefaction too ghastly to be looked upon, a hideous skele- ton,- a collection of bones, a heap of dust. And where then will be the immortal spirit? and will it wear the cast-off jewels of the body? O no ! these remain rescued from the grasp of the king of terrors, only to ornament other bodies, but not to prepare their souls for immortal glory. But turn now to that other female, the woman who, regardless of the decoration of the body, was all intent upon the beauty of the soul, look at her, I say, who was clothed with the robe of righteousness and the garment of salvation, and decorated with the ornament of a ' meek and quiet spirit? She, too, dies, and whatever of beauty there was in her person, dies for a season with her; but the indestructible and immortal spirit, over which death hath no dominion, goes not unadorned into the presence of the Eternal ; for the jewels with which it decorated itself on earth are as indestructible as its own nature, and go with it to shine in the presence of God." There are many ways of developing a beautiful soul ; and every girl can show that she has it, if she will. In every community there are the sick, the unfortunate, the poor, and other classes to excite the sympathies of the heart. How very appropriate for even girls to manifest an interest 214 THE GOOD GIRL AJfD TRUE WOMAN. in these suffering classes ! to be ready to visit the sick, and render cheerful aid; to carry com- forts to the abodes of want; to speak words of kindness and hope to the desponding and down- trodden ; in short, to be true " sisters of charity " in neighborhood and town! The Sabbath School opens an inviting field of labor. The young woman can be the happy in- strument of impressing the little child's heart with lessons of wisdom. She can guide and shape an immortal mind. Perhaps she may set a jewel in the Saviour's crown. How beautiful the spirit that is intent upon this object! In every town there are philanthropic enter- prises which offer excellent opportunities to females for displaying their kindness, and developing a benevolent spirit, sewing-circles in behalf of the perishing; plans to improve and beautify the sanc- tuary; the distribution of tracts among neglected classes ; enrolling the names of the young and old upon the temperance pledge, and many other works of a similar kind, for which females are peculiarly adapted. It is a pleasant sight to wit- ness girls engaging in these different enterprises with whole-hearted zeal. There are, also, the various benevolent objects, belonging to the great Missionary enterprise, which ought to engage their attention. They A BEAUTIFUL SOUL. can be efficient in collecting funds from house to house. They can also aid by conscientiously devoting a portion of their earnings to the Lord. The latter is a successful way of cultivating the highest graces. And how, I ask, can a young lady make herself more lovely than by engaging, heart and hand, in missionary work? The sight is truly pleasant to the eye; and the delicate toiler wins a place for her name in every heart. These are some of the ways of nurturing the elements of a beautiful soul, which is sure to give a girl some success by securing the confidence of those around her. She will command the respect and love of others, in proportion to the strength of these benevolent qualities, other things being equal. For this reason, and more particularly because she will share the approba- tion of "God, she should seek the highest develop- ment of these finer feelings. It is something to give a cup of cold water to the thirsty, and the giver is not unnoticed by the unseen Eye ; how much more is it to form the habit of sympathiz- ing with, and acting for, the good of others! and thus to open a deep fountain of joy and blessing, that shall flow oa -when the beautiful soul has gone to its rich reward! There once lived a hermit in a lonely desert, who was accustomed to carry water in a glass 216 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRCE WOMAN'. to the thirsty travellers who passed his door. Many grateful hearts invoked the blessings of Heaven upon his head, for his timely and cooling draughts. But the old man thought, one day, that if he should dig a well by the way-side, weary travellers could slake their thirst at pleas- ure, and long after he had gone to his rest it would continue to be a literal fountain of good. He dug the well; and, generations after, moving caravans stopped to refresh themselves with its perennial waters. Thus should it be with my youthful reader. Be not satisfied with perform- ing an occasional act of kindness, though it may make a glad heart ; but make benevolence the controlling principle of your life, and thus open a well-spring of good, that will not be dry when you rest in the silent grave. cJ .n-in?^ ;; .;...-- . CHAPTER XIX. USKFULNE 8 S. MATTY GIRLS HAVE LITTLE IDEA OF IT MISS LYON'8 LETTER MINISTER'S DAUGHTER LETTER TO HER 8ISTEB SOME GIRLS AS USELESS AS POSSIBLE CAN EMBROIDER, BUT NOT MAKE A DRESS OR PIE WHAT IS IT TO BE USELESS? AN OPPORTUNITY A USEFUL GIRL PUBLIC GRIEF AT THE DEATH OF MRS. VAK NESS THE EULOGY " SHE WAS USEFUL," AND " SHE WAS ACCOM- PLISHED " GIRL'S SHOULD AIM TO BE USEFUL IF THEY WOULD BE SUCCESSFUL. THE last chapter related to this subject ; it has been incidentally alluded to, also, in other places ; but the importance of the theme leads the author to present some additional thoughts upon the sub- ject, in a separate chapter. One day Miss Lyon urged upon the attention of some of her pupils the claims of certain fields for usefulness, by the way of teaching ; but they refused to enter them because the compensation was small. In writing to a friend, immediately afterwards, she speaks of the circumstance thus : "You see what the views of these young ladies are. I could not refrain froin saying to myself, If all ladies entertain the same views, what will 19 218 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. . become of the immense population of our coun- try, whose scale of means and living, in every respect, is so far below these views ? " And then she goes on to express her grief at what she has witnessed among young females, even those who profess religion, which shows how little they think of being useful. "I do believe," she says, " that this is a time when efforts in behalf of young Christians are peculiarly needed. In my intercourse with society of late, I have been more and more convinced of this. I have noticed a ten- dency to giddiness, volatility, and foolish talking and jesting. In some cases I have been surprised to learn that those in whom I have noticed these things were professors of religion. I am inclined to think that this is more manifest when young ladies and young gentlemen are engaged in con- versation with one another. I recollect of meet- ing a minister and his daughter of fifteen or sixteen. She was introduced to our company. We noticed her apparent thoughtlessness, and spoke of it to each other with a feeling that she was a child, and would need a prudent mother's care. We soon learned, to our surprise, that she professed piety, and would like to go on a mission. This is an extreme case; but I have seen many others, though less marked, which have led me to tremble for the church. . . . O, how important USEFULNESS. 219 that young Christians should take; Christ for their example, and become holy as he was holy, harm- less and undefiled as he was ! How important that all who are united to Christ should live in such a manner as to avoid the appearance of evil ! May the Lord teach jhe dearly beloved in our seminary as no man can teach them ! " Often she was pained by the evident absence of all desire among girls to be useful. On this ac- count, perhaps, she made more effort to school her nieces in the idea of occupying a place of useful- ness, rather than one of ease and popularity. She besought their mothers to impress this subject upon their minds. She once wrote to her sister Moore about her daughter A.: "I do not think the sphere of usefulness so extensive as she might have in other places. How much greater is the blessing of enjoying a field of usefulness, than a situation favorable to personal advantage ! And do you not, my dear sister, regard it as a higher pri- vilege to have your children prepared to do good, than to have them enjoy great worldly prosperity ? This happiness I desire and pray that you may en- joy in all your children." We think that Miss Lyon's criticisms upon girls, in regard to usefulness, are just ; for, turn to some classes of society described on former pages, and what do we witness? Instead of possessing the 220 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. . remotest intention of being useful, their ideas of "style" and "manners" are suited to make them nearly as useless as possible. How many girls are taught to play the piano, and embroider, both of which are well in their place, while they are not permitted to make a dress or a pie ! It is consist- ent with some mothers' ideas of gentility to embroider, but it is not to sew on a garment. They may know how to dance or paint, but it would be almost unpardonable for them to know how to wash a pocket handkerchief! It does appear as if the notions which some people entertain of gen- tility were singularly adapted to make them use- less. They acquire a knowledge of those things which are least necessary, and neglect those that would be of great service to them in discharging the duties of life. It is said that "nothing is made in vain ;" but some girls may almost be said to be exceptions to the rule. They are educated to think that labor is degrading, which amounts to the same thing as the belief that usefulness is degrading ; and lower than this, in the scale of recognized responsible existence, no female can easily fall. Let the reader stop and consider what it is to be useless. How much selfishness, worldly-minded- ness, and neglect of God's claims upon the heart, it implies ! To be a cipher in the world, where USEFULNESS. 221 there is so much to be done ! as if there were no God calling for action ! Are you willing to stand in this relation to mankind ? Dare you waste the golden moments of life in bringing nothing to pass ? Look at your opportunities for usefulness ! And what is an opportunity, do you ask ? It is a favorable occasion for doing good, which, like time, if once lost, is lost forever. How many of them are crowded into a single year of your life ! Dare you waste them all? Will you toss them away as so many passing trifles ? Then your life will be a failure, the end of your being will be defeated, your name will be unhonored, your memory will perish in oblivion. A USEFUL girl ! A USEFUL woman ! No female need aspire after a higher eulogium than this. It is the fulfilment of her mission, which earth ap- proves and God rewards. The first instance of a great public demonstration of grief at the death of a woman, that occurred in our land, was occa- sioned by the departure of a useful female of the city of Washington Mrs. Van Ness. She en- deared herself to the people by her constant efforts at doing good. She was the first to appreciate and relieve the wants of the needy, and the last to despair of reclaiming the wandering. Year after year she toiled in behalf of the lower classes of that city, to teach, comfort, and elevate them. 19* 222 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. She died on the ninth of September, 1832, and the announcement of her exit spread a gloom over the entire metropolis. The citizens, without dis- tinction of sect or party, held a meeting to express their sorrow at her death, and to devise a plan for bearing public testimony to her worth. They voted to procure a plate for her coffin, on which should be an inscription detailing her virtues and expressing their gratitude. She was followed to the grave by nearly all the people of the city. It was homage paid to distinguished USEFULNESS. It is a very sad affair to so live that, when death removes you hence, all that can be said of you is, " she was accomplished," or " she was beautiful," or "she was intelligent." How much better, nobler, holier, so to live, that, when you die, friends and neighbors may say, " she was USEFUL" ! Indeed, no girl can accomplish anything worthy of herself, unless her constant aim is at usefulness. Here duty, which we have considered in a previ- ous chapter, comes in with its demands, and the result is energy and perseverance in the right direction. " Intrepid virtue triumphs over Fate; The good can never be unfortunate : And be this maxim graven in thy mind, The height of virtue is to serve mankind." CHAPTER XX. AMUS BMENTS. MISS LYON'S VIEWS OF AMUSEMENTS SCRIPTURAL LOVE O AMUSEMENTS DESTROYS USEFULNESS LOVERS OF PLEASURE ARE TRIFLERS AMUSEMENTS EXTINGUISH 8EKIOU8 THOUGHTS THE YOUNG INQUIRER AND THE DANCE TESTIMONY OF FRAN- CES M'LELLAN PLEASURE-SEEKING GIRLS ASSOCIATE -OFTEN WITH YOUNG MEN OF BAD CHARACTER MANY INTEMPERATE YOUNG MEN ONE OF THIS CLASS ON HER DEATH-BED TESTI- MONY OF HER PHYSICIAN THESE EVILS SHOW BAD INFLU- ENCE OF POPULAR AMUSEMENTS THESE SHOULD BE AVOIDED RECREATION NECESSARY, BUT NOT AMUSEMENTS PLEASURE NEVER TO BE SOUGHT FOR ITS OWN SAKE PRINCIPLE THE RULE OF ACTION, AND PLEASURE THE RESULT CLEOPATRA DISSOLVED AND DRANK A JEWEL WORTH $375,000 TO THE HEALTH OF MARK ANTONY MANY GIRLS MAKE GREATER SACRIFICE OV SOUL. . Miss Lyon was thought to be unnecessarily rigid, by some of her pupils, in respect to amusements. We think, however, that her views were very scrip- tural, and that such views alone lead to success. There is no doubt that a fondness for mere worldly pleasure has been the cause of many a girl's useless- ness, and utter failure of life. On account of their love of amusements they have sought those scenes of gayety, in which the elements of true success are never called out. Much of the girlish folly 224 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. v portrayed in the foregoing pages arises, in fact, from this undue love of pleasure. Hence, it is a subject that claims some special attention. Among young ladies who participate in all the amusements of the day, we have noticed several things which certainly show that their influence up- on the heart is evil. One is, that they are among the most thoughtless and trifling of their sex. Thought- fulness is becoming in a girl that thought- fulness which is found in connection with pru- dence, foresight, and wisdom. But these seekers of pleasure do not possess it. Female scoffers and despisers of religion are found among them. Plea- sure is more to them than principle. They wonder at the Puritan stiffness of those who condemn parties and balls, and conclude that religion is a cold and heartless affair. We have noticed that amusements sometimes extinguish serious thoughts in the minds of girls who had them for a time. We well remember one who had almost decided to accompany a friend to see their pastor, to converse with him about the salvation of their souls. The evening was ap- pointed ; but an invitation to attend a dance changed her mind ; and she has scarcely been to the house of God from that day to this, although several years have elapsed since her fatal deci- sion. We have read of manv similar instances. AMUSEMENTS. 225 Another fact that has impressed us as we have observed this class of pleasure-seeking young la- dies, is, that occasionally one of the number be- comes a true Christian, when she denounces former pleasures as corrupting. It is not true of all who profess to be converted ; but we say it is true of all who give the most satisfactory evidence of regen- eration. We have the words of one before us, though she was never one who could be called a thoughtless pleasure-seeker, yet she often went to splendid parties, where various amusements were enjoyed. The lady was Frances McLellan, of whom we have already spoken. She said, after her conversion, speaking of these parties : " I can- not attend them any more, since I find I cannot enjoy communion with God, such as my soul craves, after my return. I find my thoughts dis- tracted, and prayer then seems like solemn words upon thoughtless lips. I am resolved henceforth to leave them to such as can feel that they are not a detriment to religious improvement and progress. For myself, I am convinced that it is no place for me." We have observed, also, that some young ladies of this class accept the attention of young men of doubtful, and even of known corrupt characters, for the sake of enjoying the ball, or party of pleasure. We have known more than one instanca 226 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. of a respectable girl going to such places with partners of intemperate habits. We are surprised that it should be so. Young men would not show attention to females of doubtful character. They are spurned from the social relations of this class. But young women are often guilty of the act we allege against them ; and sometimes a friendship springs up between them and their immoral com- panions, which ripens into mutual love, that is consummated in wedlock. We have married at least two girls to whom these remarks would ap- ply; and now they are the miserable wives of drunk- ards, with the very dark prospect of seeing no happier day on this side of the grave. We hardly know how to account for such strange inconsider-- ation ; but, on the whole, it appears that a love of amusement overrides judgment and principle. Furthermore, we have read of many pleasure worshippers, who have wept in agony over their worldly career on the bed of death. Mr. Arvine tells us of a beautiful young lady, about eighteen years of age. During a season of revival, when many of her young friends were giving their hearts to God, the family physician urged her to become a Christian. She replied, " How can I think of becoming pious, when, in doing so, I shah 1 debar myself of the privilege of attending balls? Our minister says dancing in wrong. If the Rev. Mr. AMUSEMENTS. 227 was our minister, I think I would venture to be pious, for he allows this . innocent amuse- ment." The physician reminded her " that she would yet see a difference between a life of amuse- ment and a life of prayer." Ere long the physician was called to her bedside, for she was dangerously sick. She asked an in- terest in his prayers. Subsequent events shall be given in his own words : " A sort of low murmur or moaning was heard from her half-opened lips. Yet, when called by name, she would open her eyes, and seemed to re- cognize those around her. She continued in this condition for several hours, during which period she occasionally uttered the most heart-touching and unearthly groans I ever heard from a mortal being. They distressed me they distressed us all. *' At last, putting my mouth to her ear, I said : * Mary Ann, do tell me what mean these unearthly groans which we hear from you ? What is the matter, my dear child ? If it is in your power to tell me, do, I beseech you.' And never shall I for- get the reply. She opened her once beautiful TKUE a lover of pleasure. She sought enjoyment in the gayest amusements of her day. On one occa- sion, at a splendid banquet, she dissolved a jewel worth three hundred and seventy-five thousand dollars, and drank it to the health of Antony. It was the price paid for the pleasure of an even- ing's entertainment. " Foolish woman ! " exclaims the astonished reader. Yet she was not more foolish than are many girls who now regard amusements as indispensable to a joyous life. With equal thoughtlessness and folly, they dis- solve a costlier jewel the immortal soul in the cup of worldly pleasure. CHAPTER XXI. CONVEBSATION. HUGH TIME SPENT IN CONVERSATION REMARKS OP DR. PEA- BODY AN ACCOMPLISHMENT USELESS TALK REMARK OP HANNAH MORE "WHAT WOMEN TALK ABOUT" MILTON AND HIS DAUGHTERS BEN JON8ON AUTHOR OS 1 "YOUNG WOMAN'S FRIEND" SOCIETY IN ITALY THE OLD LADY'S JUDGMENT EMPTY VESSELS KNOW HOW TO KEEP SILENCE OPINIONS OP CICERO AND LORD BACON THE MEETING OF GRECIAN PHILOS- OPHERS EXTRAVAGANT EPITHETS FEMININE SWEARING GOSSIP ELIZABETH BURNETT COUNSEL OF THE BIBLE THE YOUNG EDUCATED BY CONVERSATION THE GRACCHI MARY LYON A GOOD EXAMPLE REMARK OF DR. HITCHCOCK. THE tongue is an " unruly member," and needs to be under excellent tuition. It can be educated to perform a noble and graceful part in domestic and social life, and become a means of success. Did the reader ever stop to reflect upon the large amount of time 'that she spends in conversation ? A large proportion of all waking hours are spent by many in this way. So many hours are not devoted to reading, or meditation, or to scarcely any other one thing. Hence it ought to become a medium of great good. It ought to be an essen- tial art among the acquisitions and accomplish- 20* 234 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. ments of the female sex. Dr. Peabody said, in a lecture before the members of the Female High School, in Newburyport, a few years since: "There are many young ladies, released from the restraints of school, and many older ladies, with few or no domestic burdens, with no worldly avocation and na taste for reading, whose whole waking life, either at their own homes or from house to house, is given to the exercise, for good or evil, of the tongue that unruly member. And how blessed might they make that exercise, for how many holy ministers of love,, sympathy, and chaiity might it suffice, how many wounds might it prevent or heal, did they only believe and feel that they were writing out their own characters in their daily speech! But too many of them forget this." It is almost impossible to exaggerate the worth of the conversational powers to woman. Properly disciplined and controlled, they become a rare accomplishment. They are both an ornament to female character and a passport to the best soci- ety. She who is qualified to impart a charm to the social circle, by a graceful and sparkling utter- ance, from a cultivated and ready mind, possesses a grace that rivals all loveliness of feature. For this reason, and also because so much is said about the conversation of females, we deem it CONVEIISATIOX. 235 important to call the reader's attention to the subject. No doubt some of the sarcastic and amusing things that are said concerning woman's tongue are justly uttered ; and the fact shows that it is a topic worthy of consideration. "We have been struck with the unanimity of sentiment with which different writers speak of certain impro- prieties among females, relating to the use of the tongue. These have particular reference to use- less talk, which prevails especially among girls, though their remarks may refer to older women. Says Dr. Peabody: "How many talk on un- thinkingly and heedlessly, as if the swift exercise of the organs of speech were the great end of life ! The most trivial news of the day, the con- cerns of the neighborhood, the floating gossip, whether good-natured or malignant, dress, food, frivolous surmises, paltry plans, vanities too light to remain an hour upon the memory, these are the sole staple of what too many call conversa- tion ; and many are the young people who are training themselves in the use of speech for no higher or better purpose." Hannah More says : " Young ladies, whose sprightliness has not been disciplined by a coi> rect education, consider how things may be pret- tily said, rather than how they may be prudently or seasonably spoken ; and willingly hazard being 236 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. thought wrong, or rash, or vain, for the chance of being reckoned pleasant." A writer, in a recent number of Harper's Monthly, discusses the topic, "WHAT WOMEN TALK ABOUT ; " and says, " Women can talk well, there is no doubt; but do they 2 In the first place, what do they talk much about? Firstly, DRESS. Secondly, EACH OTHER. Thirdly, SER- VANTS." This division indicates the tone of his remarks, which are severely cutting upon a pre- vailing evil in female society. "This talk," he says, 'Us generally so vapid, so wanting in all that is fanciful, in the best sense of that word so false in taste that we would almost repudiate the subject; and while we would beg that dress might always be handsome and appropriate, we would almost ask that it might never again be spoken of." Milton, the immortal poet, had three daughters, neither of whom was instructed in any but the English language. On being asked why he ob- jected to their studying the languages, he replied that "one tongue was enough for a woman." It was a severe thrust at female loquacity. Ben Jonson has a play called "The Silent Woman," who turns out to be a great clownish boy. He implies thereby that a silent woman cannot be found. CONVERSATION. 237 The author of The Young Woman's Friend " says : " Hence, when a company of gentlemen and ladies are met for an evening's social intercourse, the conversation often takes the most trivial and profitless turn. Men abandon the discussion of great and important subjects, and lower the theme down to the trivialities of life and the little tattle of the day. No greater insult can be paid to woman ; and yet there is none which she oftener invites by her own folly." Nor is this a characteristic of female society in America alone ; for a distinguished female writer, who speaks from actual observation, says : " In Italian circles, I have found the conversation very superficial, consisting much of playful and not ungraceful trifling on subjects of traditional gal- lantry (from which, by the by, the clergy is by no means excluded), and of the topics of the day, treated much in the style, of a court journal. The comings and goings of illustrious personages, the changes in the genealogical calendar, accidents by flood and fire, theatres, singers, and, though last not least, the ballet, these are the points round which conversation perpetually revolves. Now and then one sees a group whispering to- gether on matters of greater importance, and from such a one there can occasionally be gleaned intel- ligence not to be found in books or papers." 238 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. Are these writers too severe in their criticisms ? If not, then here is an evil that needs to be rem- edied. The attention of girls ought to be called to the subject, in order that their womanhood may avoid this cause of reproach. It is often the case that females defeat their influence over others simply by the manner of using their tongues. It was only the other day that an excellent pious woman visited a family where an aged female friend was staying. The visitor was intelligent, but talkative. The aforesaid old lady spent two or three hours in her company, and on being asked, subsequently, how she liked her, she re- plied, "What an everlasting talker!" It was very easy to see that the visitors intelligence and true excellence of character did not impress her, on account of the style of her conversation. It is much worse where females lack both knowl- edge and piety, and therefore talk only about the most trivial and senseless things. There is much of this in the society of young ladies at the present day. As if it were not consistent with their rules of etiquette to be silent at times, or to converse upon topics that will improve the mind, their tongues run on about things that are next to nothing in importance. Now, this should.be avoided. It is not only a waste of time, but it weakens and stultifies the CONVERSATION. 239 n powers of the mind. The mind is strengthened by conversation upon useful themes subjects that demand thought and reflection. Nor is excessive talking any evidence of mental ability. We fre- quently meet with young women who appear to be talkative because they think it is evidence of a bright intellect. But they are mistaken. " Empty vessels give out the loudest sound," is a maxim that may be justly applied to many loquacious people. Sometimes a respectful silence indicates far better breeding, and more real intelligence, than hours of talk. " I never, with important air, In conversation overbear; My tongue within my lips I rein, For who talks much must talk in vain." - It is a part of the art of conversation to know when to keep silence. This was the opinion of Cicero and Lord Bacon. They thought that the modes of silence were nearly as important as the modes of speech ; and that a woman often appears to better advantage by profound attention, than by forwardness in conversation. One of them was wont to relate a story of some "Grecian philoso- phers, who held a meeting before a foreign ambas- sador. Each one exerted himself to appear bril- liant in conversation, that the ambassador might 240 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKETE WOMAN. have much to say to his prince of Grecian wisdom. One of the number, mortified by the extreme lo- quacity of his companions, preserved a profound silence. At length the ambassador turned to him, and inquired, "But what have you to say, that I may report it ? " The silent philosopher replied : "Tell your king that you have found one among the Greeks who knew how to be silent." The incident teaches an important lesson. Some girls are quite disposed to employ extrav- agant epithets in expressing their views of vari- ous things. "Did you notice Mrs. B 's new shawl, last Sabbath ? " inquired one young lady of another; "wasn't it splendid?" "Yes; it was perfectly magnificent! I never saw anything like it," was the reply. "What a horrid bonnet Miss M had on, at church ! " exclaimed another young woman. " A complete scarecrow ! " re- sponded the other. This style of conversation is not feminine. It becomes the bar-room better than the parlor. Pretty is a better word than splendid, homely than horrid, and beautiful than magnificent, in the connection in which they are used. Such exaggeration should be avoided. Girls should Mso avoid swearing in conversa- tion. The reader need not be startled by this ad- vice ; fot some young ladies, who consider them- selves superior to many others, employ a class of CONVERSATION. . 241 "* epithets which well deserve the appellation of feminine profanity. Such are the words, gra- cious, mercy, vow, goodness, zounds, and others like them. If not so wicked, they are nearly as unbecoming to women as the vile oaths of the bar-room are to men. They should never be used by girls in any circumstances. The common gossip of female society should be avoided. That there is more of this among females than there is among males, is very gen- erally conceded. It probably arises from the fact that women visit more, and have no definite pur- suits to occupy their minds. Hence, gossip very naturally gains ground. Both sexes are prone to scandal, and gossip promotes it. It seems natural for them to talk about one another, and criticize their dress, man- ners, and characters. Hints, inuendos, surmises, and expressed suspicions, have done much mis- chief in this way. Sometimes a hint does more injury, and becomes a graver slander, than a direct charge. Yet persons who do not intend to slan- der indulge in hints. Here is a cause of many neighborhood difficulties and personal alienations. Perhaps it is within the bounds of truth to assert that a very large proportion of social troubles spring from the conversation of individuals. A single imprudent or scandalous word has thrown a 21 242 THE GOOD CURL AND TRUE WOMAN. whole neighborhood into commotion. The tattle of one woman at a village sewing-circle has made difficulty throughout a whole congregation. How great a matter a little fire kindleth ! It is impossible for a tattler to fulfil some of the requirements of female duty mentioned in the foregoing pages. This propensity generally en- genders other disagreeable qualities, that hinder a good influence at home and abroad. A female like Elizabeth Burnett is much more likely to bless the world. It was said of her, " that if any person were spoken against in company where she was, she would, if there was room for it, take pains to vindicate or excuse them, or else turn off the dis- course to some other subject." The Scriptures frequently speak of this subject, as if it were 'one of great importance. " Be swift to hear, and slow to speak." "Let your speech be always with grace seasoned with salt." "Thou shalt not go up and down as a tale-bearer, among the children of thy people." " A tale-bearer re- vealeth secrets." " Where no wood is, the fire goeth out ; and where there is no tale-bearer, the strife ceaseth." " " Let your conversation be as be- cometh the Gospel of Christ." "Be an example of believers in conversation." In such language this subject is presented in the Word of God. The reader must infer therefrom that the use of the CONVERSATION. 243 tongue is a matter of no trivial account. Not merely as an item of manners, but as a moral con- sideration, it is of great moment. A careful observation will convince any one that conversation exerts an educational influence upon those who participate in it. Children gener- ally converse after the manner of their parents, /and pupils of their teachers. Hence, too, we find "certain styles of conversation to prevail in certain districts, and even in certain circles of the same districts. How soon a young man will become assimilated to companions in his manner of speech ! Let him enter the company of the reckless and profane, and how soon he learns to tip his senten- ces with an oath ! The same is true of girls. Let one of them become the companion of the gay and frivolous, and soon the drift of her conversa- tion will relate to dress, finery, and trifles gener- ally. Here is education a direct influence to control the thoughts and mould the character. It appears from the writings of distinguished Romans, that the GRACCHI were educated by the conversation of their mother, Cornelia. Cicero says : " We have read the letters of Cornelia, the mother of the Gracchi, from which it appears that the sons were educated not so much in the lap of the mother as by her conversation" This is proof that there is moulding influence in the art 244 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. of conversing well ; and girls should understand it, that their riper years may not incur the guilt of idle words. "But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment." Mary Lyon is a good example of sensible con- versation. She never conversed about nothing. Strangers were always impressed by her manner of speaking. Dr. Hitchcock, speaking of her trav- elling in behalf of the Seminary she founded, says: "She did not talk louder than many fashion- ably dressed boarding-school girls do in public conveyances, the difference being that the latter inform the company of their own personal affairs, while she discussed principles as enduring as the human race, and as vital to human welfare as they are enduring. Many a man can say, ' I saw Miss Lyon once j I met her in the stage coach ; an orig- inal character, quite.' One young lady certainly enjoyed her instruction the first year of the school, in consequence of such a casual interview of her father with Miss Lyon. The father had penetra- tion enough to discover that she understood fe- male education, and .could so train young women in the way they should go, that when they were old they would not depart from it." Again, he says, " Her great readiness in conver- sation, and generous warmth of heart, adapted her CONVERSATION. 245 to become the life of a social circle. But, so full of labors were her days, that she could not devote as much time to social intercourse as she could have wished. Yet, wherever known, she was ever a welcome guest ; and she always delighted to make those happy with whom she associated." 21* CHAPTER XXII. INDU8TEY. CKTIDO'S PICTURE MART LYON AN EXAMPLE OF INDUSTRY MODE OP RECREATING BOYS MORE INDUSTRIOUS THAN GIRLS A PABLE INFLUENCE OP INDUSTRY ON THE HEART WORDS OP BISHOP HALL GREAT WASTE OP TIMR AMONG GIRLS AN ESTIMATE REMARK OP BISHOP TAYLOR RESULT IP ALL WERB INDUSTRIOUS THE CHINESE EMPEROR A DAUGHTER WHO AIDS HER MOTHER TEXTS OP SCRIPTURE. GUIDO, in one of his famous pictures, represents a pious and lovely maiden industriously employed, while she is attended by two guardian angels. The' idea which he designed to convey by the painting was, that innocence and industry are twin qualities, one and inseparable, and only those who help themselves can receive assistance from above. Mary Lyon answers to the maiden in Guido's picture. As we have seen already, she was ever busily employed, and God sent his heralds of good to bless her active life. She believed, with Lord Bacon, " that in this theatre of life it is reserved only for God and angels to be lookers-on ; " and therefore she labored with all her might. Dr. INDUSTRY. 247 Hitchcock beautifully says : " A sound mind in a sound body was her birthright. But be who breathed into her clay so much more vital fire than he commonly sees fit to bestow upon an individual, next adapted her outward circumstances to its safe keeping. She was not born to ease and affluence. She was not cradled on down. She did not tread on soft carpets, loll on cushioned sofas, ride at first in her basket cradle, and afterwards in a coach. So doing and faring, she might by middle age, have become so enervated in body and mind as scarce to adventure to set the sole of her foot upon the ground for delicateness and tenderness ; . " As Mary grew in strength, she was busily and laboriously employed. She knew what it was to labor, working with her own liands. Her far- sighted mother had no drones in that little hive. She worked in the most agreeable of all circum- stances in the society and under the eye of that cheerful, capable, sensible mother. Up with the lark, from sunrise to sunset she went from one sort of work to another, never tired, never unhappy, never discontented. How beautifully she always spoke of woman's sphere of labor ! ' So much variety, such pleasant work ! ' she used to say ; f so unlike the monotonous task of drawing out the waxed end, or driving the peg all day long.' " She could never have performed so much physi- 248 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. cal and mental labor as she did, from the age of fourteen, without the habit of unwearied industry. Indolent school-girls are not inclined to study till twelve o'clock at night, week after week ; nor to rise with the sun to renew their tasks ; neither are they disposed to engage heartily in manual employment in order to obtain the means of de- fraying their expenses at school. There must be some love of work where there is so much ear- nestness in its prosecution. There is no doubt that industry did much to make Mary Lyon the scholar and true woman that she was. She appeared to believe, she certainly proved, the truth of the lines : " Work I and thon shalt bless the day, Ere th y task be done ; They that work not, cannot pray Cannot feel the sun. Worlds thou mayest possess with health And unslumbering powers ; Industry alone is wealth, What we do is ours." We have been struck with one fact of her life she never sought amusements on the plea that they were necessary to health. How many girls, and older persons, say, ' "We must have amusements for the health of body and mind. It will not do to INDUSTRY. 249 J| tax. the physical and mental powers incessantly, for they will break down ' ! And, with this plea, they indulge in the popular amusements of the day. Mary Lyon's course from girlhood proves the falsity of this view, and establishes the truth of our own position, in a previous chapter, on amuse- ments. She never indulged in vain and useless pleasures for necessary recreation, but found it in employments of another character ; so that, when she was seeking relaxation, it was always in a way that still preserved her habits of industry. Her recreation was derived more from a variety of useful labors than from any mere amusement. It is quite evident that boys are generally more industrious than girls. It is not unusual to see the latter living, week after week, and month after month, with nothing to do. The fault may not be theirs so much as it is that of social customs. They are educated in indolent habits, in many instances. At the same time, parents teach their sons that idleness is the cause of much mischief. They say, with the Turks, " the devil tempts all other men, but idle men tempt the devil." They entreat them to be industrious to avoid the idle moments of the loafer. Why is not industry as important to girls ? If it tend to improve the body and mind, by keeping them employed in doing useful things, will it not do this for the female sex ? If idleness 250 THE GOOD GIUL AND TRUE WOMAN. enervates the mind of a young man, will it not also enervate that of a young woman ? These are questions that demand candid replies. In answer- ing them, the reader will perceive that industry is essential to the well-being and successful influ- ence of woman. All that can be said of it as an indispensable requisite for boys, may be spoken as truly of girls. "We are told, in a fable, of a dying man who said to his sons, " My children, I am now departing from this life ; but all that I have to leave you, you will find in the vineyard." They supposed that their father referred to some hidden treasure, and, after his death, they commenced digging for it. They dug. and dug, day after day, and not only turned over the whole soil of the vineyard, but turned it several times over. No treasure/was found, however. But the vines were so much strengthened and improved by the labor expended upon the soil, that they yielded a finer vintage than ever before. Their industry proved a treasure in itself. The incident furnishes us with an illustra- tion of the benefit of industry to girls in develop- ing the powers which they possess. The good derived therefrom is not merely physical and secu- lar; it is also intellectual and moral. The mind grows by thinking upon useful subjects; and, when the girl is employed in useful work, her mind, of INDUSTRY. course, is dwelling thereon. "When she is idle, her jnind is vacant and thoughtless. The influence on the heart is still more striking. Industry pre- serves the heart from corruption. It leaves smaller opportunities for the tempter to try his arts. The most industrious girls have usually the most excel- lence, other things being equal. Says Bishop Hall, " The industrious have no leisure to sin ; the idle have neither leisure nor power to avoid sin. Exer- cise is not more wholesome for the body than for the soul ; the remission whereof breeds matter of disease in both. The water that hath been heated soonest freezeth. The most active spirit soonest tireth with slackening. The earth stands still, and is all dregs ; the heavens ever move, and are pure. We have no reason to complain of the assiduity of the work ; the toil of action is answered by the benefit ; if we did less we should suffer more. Sa- tan, like an idle companion, if he finds us busy, flies back, and sees it no time to entertain vain purposes with us. We cannot please him better than, by casting away our work, to hold chat with him ; we cannot yield so far, and be guiltless." There is a great waste of time, which Antipho called " the greatest of all sacrifices," among girls, even when they cannot be said strictly to be idle. They are scarcely aware of the number of precious moments that are lost on account of 252 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. the slight importance they attach to habits of in- dustry. Many of them will labor with zeal when they can earn large wages, and refuse to labor at all when their earnings would be small. It is better for them to be industrious, even though the fruits thereof will not pay their board, than to be idle. No one can afford to be idle. All things considered, it is a most expensive vice. But many girls, not appreciating the habit of industry, throw away weeks of precious time every year. The loss o/f a single hour per day is thought little of by a multitude ; yet this amounts to three hun- dred and sixty-five hours, or thirty days, of twelve hours each, in one year. In fifty years it runs up to more than four years of time all wasted, and worse than wasted ! If time be a God-given talent, for the improvement of which each person is responsible, a fearful reckoning awaits those who are thus prodigal of it. A person may lose a dollar, and replace it by doubling his diligence ; but who can replace a lost moment ? Who can restore a wasted hour ? None. Every such frag- ment of time is so much of responsible life thrown away, as if it were valueless. Bishop Taylor very beautifully describes the value of time in this connection. "It is very remarkable that God," he says, "who giveth plen- teous to all creatures, hath scattered the firma- INDUSTRY. 253 raent with stars, as a man sows corn in his fields, in a multitude bigger than the capacities of human order; he hath made so much variety of creatures, and gives us great choice of meats and drinks, although any of both kinds would have answered our needs; and so in all instances of nature. Yet, in the distribution of our time, God seems to be strait-handed, and gives it to us, not as nature gives us rivers enough to drown us, but drop by drop, minute after minute, so that we never can have two minutes together, but he takes away the first before he gives the second. This should teach us to value our time, since God so values it, and by this so small distribution of it, tells us it is the most precious thing we have." It has been said, that if each member of the human family performed his part of the labor of the world, no one would be obliged to over work. But, owing to the indolence of many, others are obliged to tax their strength excessively. Per- haps this is truer of the female than of the male sex; for the indolence which fashion requires in affluent circles, has to be atoned for by the in- creased labors of the poor. The idleness of one portion creates toil and suffering for the other. A Chinese emperor was so convinced of this, that he issued an edict against idleness, saying, " That if one person was idle, some one must suffer cold 22 254 THE GOOD GIBL AND TRUE WOMAN. or hunger in consequence, as each individual had his allotted work to perform ; and if he failed in his duty, some one else was called upon to fulfil his neglect." On this account he forbade idle- ness, and punished all incorrigible offenders se- verely. Occasionally we meet with a daughter, of indus- trious habits, whose study and aim it is to relieve the* care-worn mother. It is a pleasant spectacle. Contrasted with some girls, who leave every- thing in the family to be performed by the mother, avoiding all the domestic labor possible, it is a very beautiful sight. It indicates the possession of good sense, true affection, and moral principle. Such a daughter is a blessing to her parents. She aids in keeping the spring of domestic felicity full and free. A dull, lifeless, indolent daughter, must be a cause of much misery to her mother. What the thorn in the flesh was to Paul, that she is to her toiling and weary parent. Let the reader avoid her example as unbecoming and sinful. " Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep ; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger." " The slothful saith, There is a lion without, I shall be slain in the streets!" So life becomes a failure. " The sleep of a laboring man is sweet." INDUSTRY. 255 " The hand of the diligent shall bear rule." " He that tilleth his land shall be satisfied with bread." " Study to be quiet, and to de your own busi- ness, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you! If any man will not work, neither let him eat." "And, withal, they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house ; and not only idle, but tattlers also, and busy bodies, speaking things which they ought not." "The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness." CHAPTER XXIII. SPAKE MOMENTS. SIRLB HAVE MORE SPARE MOMENTS THAN BOYS THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY-FOUR THOUSAND PAGES IN TEN TEAKS THE POOR WIDOW GIRLS OB 1 SIMILAR 8PIEIT DO MUCH TIME GIVEN TO NEEDLE-WORK, MUSIC, PAINTING, ETC THE STUDIOUS YOUTH, AND ONE HOUR A DAT ELIZABETH GRAY, WIPE OF RICHEST MAN IN MASSACHUSETTS WHAT IS SEEN IN EVERY COMMU- NITY THE LIGHT *BOAT AND GAY LADY WISHING FOB PLEAS- URE REMARKS OF DR. ALCOTT MARY LYON ON WASTING TIME SEVEN WAYS OF MISSPENDING TIME HER EXAMPLE GOOD. GIRLS usually have more spare moments than boys, as intimated in the last chapter. Many who continue to reside with their parents, have several hours at their command each day. Some spend these hours in fancy work, music, and idleness. With not a few it may be almost a study 'how to kill time. Spare moments are those that drag most heavily with them. Rightly improved, they might contribute largely to intellectual and moral advancement. Without any additional time for reading^ or errands of mercy, the leisure hours which some girls have are sufficient for very supe- SPARE MOMENTS. 257 rior acquisitions. It is not extravagant to say that many young ladies have leisure enough to read a hundred pages a day. What an oppor- tumity for mental culture and religious improve- ment ! Seven hundred pages per week ! Thirty- six thousand four hundred pages in a year! Three hundred sixty-four thousand pages in ten years! About one hundred volumes a year, of four hun- dred pages each! Nearly one thousand volumes of this size in ten years ! This estimate may serve to show that many young women have no excuse for ignorance, since their spare moments are suffi- cient, when improved, to render them very intel- ligent. ? .'OS. Or, suppose these leisure hours were devoted to some object of benevolence, that the young woman should employ them in earning the means to aid in carrying on some good work at home or abroad. With the spirit of an excellent woman, of whom a clergyman wrote in a Boston paper in 1851, she would be able to bless thousands of the neglected around her, and of the perishing on distant shore?. That self-denying woman was a poor widow, obliged to support herself and four children by daily toil. The church to which she belonged was in a depressed condition, a flock without a shepherd. For some time there was no religious service, and this good lady was 22* 258 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. distressed on account of their condition. She spread their case before the Lord, and earnestly besought him to appear for them. As a pledge of her sincerity, she promised to devote the two hours between nine and eleven o'clock at night to labor, the avails of which should be consecrated to the support of the gospel. Most zealously did she toil thereafter, when her children were quietly sleeping in their beds, for this noble object. Nor was it long before God sent the prayed-for preacher. She continued to redeem the two hours nightly from sleep for the sake of sustaining the public worship of God, and the fruits of her labors were not small. Now, we say that many young ladies with such a spirit would be able to make large contribu- tions to benevolent causes, simply by improving their leisure moments. They would be surprised themselves at the annual amount that might be earned in this way. We have been told of one y6ung lady who devoted one hour daily to labor for charitable purposes. In that hour she earned five cents, which amounted to thirty cents weekly, or fifteen dollars and sixty cents in a year. This is no trifle in the way of doing good. It is enough to carry many of the leaves of the tree of life to the perishing. Then, too, what a charming ex- ample! How kind and good the spirit that SPAKE MOMENTS. 259 studies to convert golden moments into blessings for the needy ! There is no doubt that a large number of girls give more time to ornamental work and musio than they would, but for the fact that they have many spare moments. The subject is one that demands attention ; for sin is often committed by giving too much attention to painting, music, and other accomplishments. It is not right for an im- mortal being, surrounded with moral misery and ruin which she might relieve in a measure, to con- sume so much of her time in fancy work, and playing and singing, or even in the acquisition of modern languages. God has a claim upon every person's time, and he will not be cheated out of it with impunity to the transgressors. We would not disparage the ornamental acquirements named. We believe in these elegancies of life. God him- self has created elegant things all around us. Nature paints, and discourses sweet music, yea, she paints more beautifully, and sings more enchant- ingly than mortals can. Her embroidery and enamelling are more perfect than those of art. We love to feast our eyes upon these rich embel- lishments of hers. But we would not rob God of the time that belongs to him. We would not adorn the body or mind with elegancies at the expense of dishonoring him. Some leisure mo- 260 THE GOOD GTKL AND TRUE WOMAN. ments, at least, should be improved for mental and moral culture, and in works of mercy. It is the only way of developing a symmetrical character and pleasing God. We have spoken of the amount of reading that may be accomplished in leisure moments; and, since writing the foregoing, we have met with the following fact: "There was once a lad who, at fourteen, was apprenticed to a soap boiler. One of Ms resolu- tions was to read one hour a day, or at least at that rate ; and he had an old silver watch, left him by his uncle, which he timed his reading by. He stayed seven years with his master, and his master said when he was twenty-one that he knew as much as the young squire did. Now, let us see how much time he had to read in seven years, at the rate of an hour a day. It would be twenty- five hundred and fifty-five hours; which, at the rate of eight reading hours a day, would be three hundred and nineteen days; equal to forty-five weeks ; equal to eleven months ; nearly a year's reading. That time spent in treasuring up useful knowledge would pile up a very large store. I am sure it is worth trying for. Try what you can do. Begin now." There is an eminent example on record illus- trating this subject. It is that of Mrs. Elizabeth i>"* vgPAHE MOMENTS. 261 Gray, who was the wife of the richest man in Massachusetts, seventy years ago. She was as economical of her time as if she were dependent upon her daily labors for support. Not a moment was allowed to run to waste. "She divided her time between reading, household affairs, and duties to society, in such a manner as never for a moment to be in a hurry." In this way no time was lost. Every hour was improved to advantage. Those moments which many women employ in doing no- thingj or gadding, were devoted to reading and errands of mercy. For this reason she was con- stantly improving, both in mind and heart. Many of her sex around her, having fewer cares and equally bright intellects, were far less intelligent, simply because their spare moments ran to waste. In every community we notice this. Often we observe a mother with the cares of a numerous family pressing -upon her, yet constantly growing in intelligence, -because the few leisure moments each day are devoted to useful reading. Her neighbor, perhaps, may not possess half so much knowledge, though her leisure time is greater ; for she idles it away, or consumes it about useless things. Mr. Wise very beautifully expresses the loss of these leisure moments by the following illustra- tion: "Imagine the spectacle of a light boat 262 THE GOOD GIBL AND TBTJE WOMAN. floating gayly over a wide, sun-lit sea. It's sole passenger is a lovely lady, who appears to be sud- denly wakening from sleep. Her hand is stretched out to grasp the string of a magnificent pearl necklace, which, during her sleep, became un- fastened. One end is still hanging about her neck, the other is loosely dangling over the water. Pearl after pearl has slipped off info the deep abyss, until there are but few remaining. The expression on the lady's brow is sad and self- reproachful. Each lost pearl reproves her ; each re- maining one reminds her of those which are gone ; while several more must fall, before her hand can reach the string to save the small remainder. "Do you perceive the idea embodied in this beautiful spectacle ? It is that if the opportuni- ties of early life, for self-improvement, are wasted in idle day-dreams, the loss can never be repaired. Lost opportunities are sunken pearls. Young life spent in self-neglect will bring self-reproach in later years. Then you will cry, ' Untaught in youth my heart to tame, My springs of life were poisoned.' " Some women spend their spare moments in visiting for pleasure. Every week, perhaps several tunes in the week, they are seen making calls, or SPARE MOMENTS. 263 spending the afternoon with friends. The prac- tice may not be objectionable provided the time is not worse than wasted in talking about nothing and bringing nothing to pass. Calls and visits may subserve a good purpose when the conver- sation is improving, and the object in going to see another is proper. Dr. Alcott has some very sen- sible remarks upon this subject, which we quote for the reader's benefit : " As to many forms of visiting current among us such as morning calls, evening parties, and calls of any sort which answer none of the real purposes of visiting tending neither to make ourselves or any body else wiser or better, but, on the contrary, to rnak'e society worse, indirectly I have never found any apology for them which seemed to me sufficient to satisfy a rational, intel- ligent, immortal spirit. To come together late in the evening just to eat and drink together that which ought not to be eaten and drunk at all or, if at all, certainly not at such an hour ; to hold conversation an hour or two under the influence of some sort of excitement, physical or moral, got tap for the occasion, on topics which are of little comparative importance of which the most valu- able part often is the inquiry, How do you do ? and the consequent replies to it ; to trifle the time away till ten, eleven, or twelve o'clock, and then 264 THE GOOD GIBL AND TRUE WOMAN. go home through the cold, damp atmosphere, per- haps thinly clad, to suffer that night for want of proper and sufficient sleep, and the next day from indigestion, and a thousand other evils, what can be more truly pitiable, not to say ridiculous ? Nor is the practice of putting on a new dress or one which, if not new, we are quite willing to exhibit and of going to see our neighbors, and staying just long enough to ask how they do, say a few stale or silly things, and prove an interruption and a nuisance, and then going elsewhere a whit more justifiable, in beings made in the image of God, and who are to be accountable at his eternal bar." Mary Lyon was fully aware of the vast amount of time wasted little by little. She therefore adopted a plan for guarding against this evil. After her death a paper was found among her effects, containing, among other things, seven ways of misspending -time, against which she was watchful. They were as follows : " 1. Indefinite musings. 2. Anticipating needlessly. 8. Needless speculations. 4. Indulging in reluctance to begin a duty. 5. In doubtful cases, not deciding at once. 6. Musing needlessly on what has been said or done, or what may be. SPARE MOMENTS. 265 7. Spending time in reverie which should be spent in prayer." A part of these wllys of misspending time are peculiar to the young, and appertain especially to their spare moments. Doubtless it was a happy decision in Mary Lyon to watch that this class of minutes should not be lost. It must have aided her in achieving the great amount of labor that she did. Had she been as prodigal of time as some of her sex are, the fruits of her life would have been far less abundant. Girls will do well to copy her example. Nor can they begin too soon. The early habit of economy of time, will show its best results in age. 23 CHAPTER XXIV. OBDEB. A PERT YOUNG MISS MANY GIRLS LIKE HER ORDER IN LITTLE THINGS A DISORDERLY GIRL DESCRIBED THE SYSTEMATIC GIRL DESCRIBED NEVER HURRIED ORDER NECESSARY TO INDUSTRY AND ECONOMY OF TIME ALL GOOD BUSINESS MEN ADOPT IT LEAST OP IT IN HOUSEHOLDS A SCENE THE WOMAN WHOSE HOUSE IS IN CONFUSION MRS. PRIOR MRS. SUSANNA BENSON MARY LYOH IN EARLY AND LATER LIFE ORDER IN HER SEMINARY. "WHAT have I to be orderly about?" exclaimed a pert miss to the counsel of a friend, concerning order. "I am neither housekeeper, teacher, nor officer of a benevolent society. It will do well enough for such persons, and for clerks, merchants, farmers, and agents generally, to be systematic; but how can a girl like me be orderly, when I have nothing to order ? " It is probable that many girls cherish similar views of this matter, and, as a consequence, they are forming the habit of carelessness just at the period when its evil influence will be most deleterious upon the char- acter. If they would stop and reflect for a mo- ment, they would see that, although they are not ORDER. 267 housekeepers or teachers, there is much for them to systematize. There are their own wardrobes to superintend, and their own rooms to arrange. A good beginning, can certainly be made here ; and such as girls are in this respect, such they will generally be in womanhood. Notice the difference between girls in these matters of seemingly small importance. There is one who thinks she has nothing to systematize at present, resolved, perhaps, Jthat when she is mistress of a home of her own, she will arrange everything according to the most approved rules of order. Look into her dressing-room. There is a dress on a chair, another on the bed ; the hair- brush is on the floor, while soiled collars and handkerchiefs are scattered about here and there. Everything is in confusion. Instead of having "a place for everything, and everything in its place," she has a place for nothing. Her bonnet is laid in one place to-day, in another to-niQrrow. Even her jewelry, if she has any, lies here and there, on the bureau, window, and toilet-stand. Of course she often loses her articles, and almost daily lias to institute a search for some missing one, while fretful speeches fall from her lips, and sour expressions of countenance distort her face. Disorderly girls are very' apt to be fretful at times. They complain bitterly of losing their 268 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. articles, but seldom strive to avoid the evil by correcting their evil habit of disorder. " But follow this girl about the house, and you will see that the evil is still worse. She puts things out of place almost as fast as her ticly mother adjusts them. "When she returns from a walk, her bonnet and shawl are thrown into a chair, or upon the dining-table. If she ever washes the dishes, she never arranges them in the cupboard according to her mother's ideas of order. They are placed just where she can find a vacancy. Who ever saw her properly arrange the chairs, or the books in the case ? If the former are not bot- tom side up, and the latter are not lying under her feet, she is satisfied. Even the book which she borrowed is tumbled about the room, not a little the worse for the wear. If she is a school-girl, her desk is a sight to behold. Look into it for a mo- ment, and th very books seem to cry out, " disor- der!" "disorder!" Books, papers, slate, pencils, etc., are huddled into it indiscriminately, and pre- sent a most chaotic scene. Her dress, too, is not always neatly arranged, nor her hair properly combed. Sometimes she has the appearance of a person who has been out in a gale, her hair and dress are in such confusion. Perhaps this girl is one who thinks that she has nothing to arrange systematically, because ORDER. 269 she is not a housekeeper. But, is it so ? We have said enough to show that there are many things about which she might observe order to great advantage. Moreover, it is well-nigh cer- tain that her carelessness in girlhood will follow her into womanhood. The slovenly housekeeper was just such a girl. If she had been systematic in arranging her wardrobe and other matters, in early life, she would probably have been sys- tematic in the performance of her own house- work. Notice, now, the systematic girl. She has every- thing in order. Go into her room, and you see nothing out of place. The furniture is well ar- ranged, and no garments, or other articles, are scattered about the room. She is so much in the habit of observing order in everything, that it is no study at all for her to preserve this tidi- ness in her room and dress. Not even a pin, or cushion, or thimble, is found lying about. Each one has a place, where it may always be found. When it is wanted, she knows where to look for it. She could find it in -the dark. Look into the book-case, and every volume is right side up, with the title in plain sight, instead of being placed toward the back part of the shelf. Examine her drawers ; how neatly everything is laid ! Follow her about the house,- she does not leave a 23* 270 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. thing just where she happens to have used it. If it be a comb, brush, or book, it is carefully replaced when she has done with it. Her bed is made at a stated tinie, instead of being left for any chance moment that may suit her. So with every other duty. She does one thing at a time, which is the secret of doing a great deal, and. doing it well. Some people are always busy, yet accomplish less than others. They attempt several things at a time, for want of system. One duty jostles an- other. Nothing is done well, nor exactly at the right time ; and still these persons are always in a hurry. Systematic people are seldom hurried and confused. Having a time as well as a place, for everything, each duty is performed in season, and well. They have no lost time to make up. At the close of each day they have no unperformed duties burdening their thoughts. It is so with our systematic giri". She says, with the wise man, " To everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose under heaven." Acting accordingly, she cultivates the quality of industry, and wastes no spare moments in considering what to do next. This subject has an important connection with those discussed in the last two chapters. Order is indispensable to effective industry, and to the proper improvement of leisure moments. It is one of the essential elements of success in life ORDER. 271 with both sexes, 'and in all departments of labor. The scholar who divides his time between his studies, allotting a given time to each, accom- plishes the most. The teacher wh6 arranges his classes so that each one shall occupy so many minutes, at precisely such a time of the day, is the most successful, other things being equal. The merchant who systematizes his business, so that each clerk performs a definite part and keeps in his own place, is usually most prosperous. And the mechanic and farmer find themselves amply rewarded for introducing order into their affairs. "Order, thon eye of action! wanting thee, Wisdom works hoodwink'd in perplexity; Entangled reason trips at every pace, And truth, bespotted, puts on error's face." At the present day, this systematic division of time and labor is very generally adopted by all successful men of business. In the manufacture of almost every article it is observed. Enter a piano-forte manufactory, and there each laborer is confined to his part of the work. One is em- ployed upon the keys, another upon the case, and a third upon some other part. So it is in almost every kind of business. Why, then, may not the 272 THE GOOD GIBL AND TRUE WOMAN. principle be profitably observed in the employ- ments of females ? Perhaps there is least of this systematic arrangement observed in household affairs. Many housekeepers have no. definite plan about their house-work, except to keep doing it as they have strength. Sometimes, where there are two or three daughters in a family, all of them, together with the mother, are employed in getting a dinner. They cross each other's paths, perhaps two hastening to get the same article; and when the dinner is ready, the careful observer concludes that one of them would have prepared it in less time than the whole. For the want of order, the time and labor of two or three of them are lost. Occasionally we meet with a housekeeper whose habitation is always in confusion. Visit her almost any time of day, and you will find beds unmade, rooms unswept, and lamps untrimmed. Perhaps she is baking in the middle of the afternoon, be- cause she has not had time to commence earlier. She is full of apologies, none of which touches the case ; for the want of order is the real secret of her short-comings. She is always hurried, and always weary, and her work is never done ! In a previous chapter we referred to Margaret Prior, whose useful labors among the destitute of OBDKK. 278 New York city are well known. It was a mys- tery to some how she could do so much for the needy, with the other cares that pressed upon her. But her biographer has explained the mystery by saying, that " she had a place for everything, and everything in its place." It is related, also, of Mrs. Susanna Benson, an English authoress of considerable celebrity, that she was able to perform an astonishing amount of mental and physical labor in consequence of the systematic division of her time. " By this," says her biographer, " she found opportunities to visit her friends, attend to her pupils, and to write large volumes for amusement and instruction, and yet never seemed hurried or overwhelmed with cares or labors. Method gave harmony to her avoca- tions, and if she suffered, it was not perceived ; if she was weary and exhausted, it was not known to those around her. This was the more wonder- ful, as she was, for a great portion of her life, a valetudinarian. She was an economist of the closest calculation hi every arrangement of her school or household affairs. The mere goodj in- dustrious housewife learned something more of her duty, and added to her stock of culinary in- formation at every visit she paid this patron of industry and economy. The science and skill 274 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE WOMAN. ^ t of the kitchen were as . familiar to her as works of taste, and if she ever seemed proud of any ac- quirement,^ it was of the knowledge of house- wifery." After Mary Lyon had been pursuing 'her stud- ies for some time, she became satisfied that a more systematic division of her time and study would be beneficial. She accordingly reduced her work to order, and from that time began to reap the fruits thereof. It is true, in some of the mat- ters indicated, particularly relating to her ward- robe, she was deficient ; but she still recognized the importance and value of doing things system- atically. In the school-room, and in the family department of her Seminary at South Hadley, order was a first law. The pupils were subjected to its strict enforcement. It regulated their stu- dies and their exercise, their waking and sleeping moments. Her own labors were brought under similar regulations, so that everything between teacher and pupils moved on like clock-work. She fully recognized ORDER as indispensable to the prosperity of the institution, and to the develop- ment of symmetrical characters in her pupils. May the reader love ORDER. It will enable her to be prompt, efficient, laborious, and true. " Order is Heaven's first law;, and this confessed, Some are, and must be, greater than the rest." CHAPTER XXV. PUNCTUALITY, PUNCTUALITY NECESSARY TO ORDER WANT OP PUNCTUALITY A GENERAL EVIL WOMAN WHO LOST HEE PLACE THROUGH TAR- DINESSTHE LOWELL MOTHER VISITING BOSTON ONE MINUTB TOO LATE FEMALES LESS PUNCTUAL THAN MALES THE TARDY SCHOOL GIRL RISING EARLY WRITING LETTERS TWELVE O'CLOCK PRECISELY RULES OF GENTILITY UNFAVOR- ABLE TO PUNCTUALITY THE COUNTESS OF BURFORD MARY LYON EVER PUNCTUAL REMARKS OF DR. HITCHCOCK NOT PUT OFF TILL TO-MORROW WHAT CAN BE DONE TO-DAY AMUS- ING-DREAMHER COUNSEL TO PUPILS ABOUT PUNCTUALITY NAPOLEON AND THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO. No person can be systematic without being punctual. This is absolutely necessary to the best improvement of time. Many cannot observe much order in their affairs simply because they are usu- ally behind time in performing their tasks. If one piece of work is not done at the time, it interferes with the next duty, and finally all their affairs are in confusion. It is astonishing to what extent the wan* of punctuality prevails. Both sexes are very cen- surable on this point. A truly punctual man or woman is so rare, that everybody knows such a 276 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE WOMAN. one for this trait. He or she is an exception to the mass of people around. Society has to guard itself more or less against this evil ; and many institutions are compelled to form and enforce rigid regulations relating thereto. Banks, for in- stance, require the payment of notes promptly, under the direction of civil laws with heavy penal- ties. Were it left with borrowers to consult their own feelings or convenience about paying notes at the precise time, it would be impossible for banks to continue business, on account of the general habit of procrastination. It is so with taxes. It has been found necessary to enact stringent laws to compel men to be prompt in paying their tax- bills. Within a week we have been told of a town where several thousand dollars of last year's taxes remain unpaid,, on account of the negligence of the. officers in executing the laws. Multitudes of peo- ple will not be punctual unless they are driven to it; and the evils entailed upon society by the delinquency are numerous. A few years since, a woman failed to renew the policy of insurance upon her buildings. Her hus- band was living, but his mind was so much im- paired that the transaction of all business devolved upon herself. She was not ready to renew the po- licy on the day it expired ; other duties demanded her attention, so that she postponed it to the first PUNCTUALITY. 277 convenient day. Within twenty-four hours after the policy expired, her buildings took fire, and were damaged to the amount of fifteen hundred dollars. Dr. Alcott tells us of a female who went from Boston to Lowell one day on a visit. " She left her young child at home, designing to return by the cars in the afternoon. Owing to her tardy habits, the hour for the last train of cars to Boston had nearly arrived before she was aware of it. She hurried on her things, and hastened to the cars, but was just one minute too late. There she was, thirty miles from her home, and there would be no other public conveyance until the following day. She thought of her infant, who was probably half starved by that time, and of her husband, who would wonder what had become of his wife. There was no time to lose. She had lost enough already. With the aid of her friends, a carriage was made . ready to convey her home on that night. Her hus- band, also, started from Boston, about the same time, to go to Lowell after her. He met her when he had performed about half the journey, to the no small satisfaction of both. All this trouble, anx- iety, and expense, werS occasioned by Jbeing one minute too late." . ^;.v One minute behind the time ! This is the reason -why a great many people never succeed in 24 278 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAJf. life. In consequence of their tardiness, they lose -a few minutes in the morning, and then vainly run after them all day long. At sun-down they have not overtaken them, and they never will. We believe that punctuality is more rare among females than males. They are not subjected to the discipline of laws snd regulations which b\isi- ness requires, and therefore they more readily yield to the inclination to put off till to-morrow what they might as well do to-day. We once knew a school-girl who was in the habit of com- ing into school any time during the first hour of its session. One day she would be at the school a half-hour before the time, perhaps on the fol- lowing day a half-hour after. This habit charac- terized her in other matters. She was equally inconstant and unreliable in her studies. As a scholar she never accomplished much. This want of punctuality is observable in a great many things which women do. A girl thinks she will rise in the morning at five o'clock. Perhaps that is her stated hour for rising, and she so informs other people. But five o'clock comes, and she concludes to gratify her inclination, and rest a little longer. This is done morning after morning, so that she seldom rises at tli3 time as- signed. In fact, she actually rises at no particular hour, although she still maintains that five o'clock is her time. PUNCTUALITY. 279 Another girl does not like to write letters. Her correspondents may be many, but their epistles lie upon her table unanswered, day after d#y. " There ! I must not fail to reply to those letters to-morrow," she says; but the morrow's sun sets upon her proci'astinatiou. In this way the duty is postponed for a long time, and when her replies are really penned, they are full of apologies, in which there is usually very little truth. We have known housewives to make twelve o'clock " precisely" the hour for dining, but never to have dinner ready at the time. Sometimes it would be a quarter past twelve, sometimes half- past, and sometimes one o'clock, before it was pre- pared. A great many hoitsekeepers have no par- ticular time for breakfast. Any time from six to eight o'clock will do. If they only have it in the morning, it is enough " for all practical purposes." It is a capital device to cause every member of the family to form loose habits in this particular. Perhaps the rules of gentility in social life may be unfavorable to the habit of punctuality. We have thought so, often. Early hours are not con- sistent with some rules_of fashion and etiquette. A young lady must not visit too early in the after- noon or evening, for it is not custom. It is abso- lutely necessary that she should go late, if she would not be accounted unfashionable. If she goes \ 280 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. before supper in the afternoon, and before bed- time in the evening, she is early enough to answer the demands of gentility. Thus she is expected and required to be behind time by some of the social rites and customs. May this not have some- what to do with her habit of being late else- where ? The Countess of Burford, who is known to fame, was a good example of punctuality to all around her. She was never behind the time in any of her engagements, nor late in the discharge of any- duty. During the last few years of her life, she was obliged to ride sixteen miles to her place of worship ; and it was said of her, " Neither frost, snow, rain, nor bad roads, were sufficient to detain her at home, nor to prevent her being there before the worship began" The habit of being punctual made her exact in everything. Mary Lyon was a pattera of punctuality. Al- though she was so fond of study in youth as to rob her body and mind of some of their nightly rest, she was always ready at the call of every duty. Dr. Hitchcock says : " Though a small thing, it shows the self-control she had attained, that, though in youth, with nothing to do but, study, she carried her book to the table, hardly allowing herself time to eat ; yet at this period, in the whirl of cares and duties [referring to the PUNCTUALITY. 28 1 time of erecting the seminary btiilding at South Hadley], she never failed to be at the table ere Mr. Condit asked the divine benediction, always stayed till the table was formally dismissed, and was as punctual at prayers, and in retiring, as she ever required any of her South Hadley pupils to be." * Again, he says : " The promptness with which this executive power was manifested, deserves notice. The moment a thing was found to be 'fles.irable and practicable, she felt uneasy till it was in a course of execution. She suspected her- self, as we shall see farther on, of being too impatient in such cases; but how venial such a fault, compared with the very common habit of procrastination ! With her there was no putting off till to-morrow what could be done to-day. For a few years, in consequence of the length of some of the compositions, the public services in the church, on anniversary days, did not commence till half an hour after the appointed time. She \vas reminded of it as something unusual at the Mount Holyoke Seminary. The next year the public services commenced a quarter of an hour before the time appointed, so fearful was the principal lest the school should get the reputa- tion of not being punctual." The same writer had a dream, which he gives as illustrative of Miss Lyon's promptness. He thinks 24* 282 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. it was occasioned by the effect of her punctuality upon his mind. It is as follows : " I dreamed that I was at the Seminary on An- niversary day, when the examinations were going on, before a crowded audience, in the large hall at the south end of the building. ' Happening to step out at the door, I saw that all the north part of- the- building was on fire, the flames rushing out of the window with such fury that it seemed impossible to save the edifice. However, everybody seemed very quiet, and the examinations were not inter- rupted ; but as I passed along, a window opened, and Miss Lyon appeared with a letter in her hand, which she committed to some one to take to the post-office. I thought it a strange time to be writ- ing letters, but was told that it was a circular^ which Miss Lyon was getting out to obtain means for erecting a new building ! " On one occasion she gave the following counsel to her pupils : " Now, young ladies, you are here at great expense. Your board and tuition cost a great deal, and your time ought to be worth more than both ; but, in order to get an equivalent for the money and time you are spending, you must be systematic, and that is impossible unless you have a regular hour for rising. If that hour is fiVe, and you are on your feet before the clock has done striking, then you are punctual ; but if you lie five PUNCTUALITY. 283 minutes, or even one, after that hour passes, you are tardy, and you must lose a little respect for yourself in consequence. Persons who run round all day for the half hour they lost in the morning, never accomplish much. You may know them by a rip in the glove, a string pinned to the bonnet, a shawl left on the balustrade, which they had no time to hang up, they were in such a hurry to catch their lost thirty ininuies. You will see tliein opening their books and trying to study at the time of general exercises in school; but it is a fruitless race ; they never will overtake their lost half hour. Good men, from Abraham to Wash- ington, have been early risers." History informs us that when Napoleon was waging the famous battle of Waterloo, he was brought into a strait, and sent for a reinforcement to be there at a given time. Marshal Grouchy started, at the head of a reinforcement strong enough to have given Napoleon the victory, but he did not reach the scene of strife at the ap- pointed hour, and Waterloo was lost. If Mary Lyon had been at the head of Grouchy's army, it would have been upon the spot in time to have waved its banners in triumph. Punctuality contributes to both order and en- ergy, and these aid in persevering endeavors in the labor of life. CHAPTER XXVI. FRUGALITY. DIALOGUE BETWEEN TWO OIBL8 REPRESENTATIVES OF TWO CLASSES HABIT OF WASTING REMARK OP SUPERINTENDENT OF BONNET MANUFACTORY SECRET OF MANY MEN'S POVERTY. SAVING TO HOARD, AN EVIL MRS. PRIOR MISS DIX AND HER AGED FATHER MARGARET BOUDET AND HER NIECES MARY LYON HER REMARKS ON THIS VIRTUE ITS GENERAL INFLUENCE ON CHARACTER ONE OF 'THE PRINCIPLES THAT REGULATED MOUNT HOLYOKE SEMINARY THE GIRL WHO IS WOT.' WASTEFUL OF PINS WILL BE FRUGAL IN GREATER MAT- TERS. "I THIHK we ought to be frugal, though we have abundant means," said Mary Jones to Hattie Earl, with whom she was discussing the subject of economy. "Enjoy it as long as it lasts, is my rule," re- sponded Hattie, who was known in the neigh- borhood for her wasteful habits. " Yes ! " said Mary, " and be miserable and wretched when it is gone." "That is not my business," rejoined Hattie. "I expect to have a husband to support me, by- and-by. I am certain of one thing that I shall not support him." FRUGALITY. 285 Hattie was about nineteen years of age, and was soon to be married to a smart young merchant. Suffice it to say, that the nuptial bonds were sealed, and the young bride continued as wasteful as ever. The servants superintended the house- hold affairs, while their mistress attended to her toilet, and made and received calls. In two years her husband became a bankrupt. The above fact is an illustration of much of the same kind that is witnessed in every com- munity. Hattie is the representative of many young ladies whose ideas of the nature and bene- fits of frugality are very meagre indeed. It is not their fault, perhaps, so much as that of society, and the training to which they have been sub- jected. Girls do not receive those lessons upon frugality which are quite generally imparted to boys. They live in a more secluded way, and do not have that business to perform which requires the management of finances. On this account, it is not regarded as indispensable that they should be instructed particularly in economy. The nu- merous ways in which they can be wasteful, with- out having the control of considerable money, are not understood and appreciated. Parents and guardians do not reflect that the habit of wasting may be formed even in the control of the pins with which their daughters fasten their dresses. Much 286 THE GOOD GIKL AND TRUE WOMAN. less do they consider that the habit is more likely to be formed in connection with these minor mat- ters, so that wastefulness will characterize their daughters when they become wives and the heads of families. "A large part of the girls," said the superin- tendent of a bonnet manufactory, "spend, every cent of their earnings for dress and nicknacks. There is C H , who earned nearly three hundred dollars last year, has not laid by a single dollar." This may be an extreme case; though we fear that kindred wastefulness is very com- mon with this class. Hence it is a theme of great importance to- girls ; for the habit of extravagance, formed in early life, may utterly disqualify them to become the mistresses of families. There is little doubt that the want of a frugal wife is the secret of many a man's poverty and discouragement. " A small leak will sink a ship ; " so a little waste, day after day, and year after year, will exhaust quite ample resources. Girls should understand this. It is not a trivial matter. It affects the formation of character, and may decide the tem- poral destiny. The old adage is a true one : " Always taking out of the meal tub, and never putting in, soon comes to the bottom." It is just as important that girls should form frugal habits, as that boys should. Indeed, in some respects, it FRUGALITY. 287 is more so ; since they will eventually be the managers of households, having the charge of provisions, clothing, furniture, and other things pertaining to domestic life. We would not advocate that kind of economy which is concerned only about hoarding. Saving to hoard is a contemptible policy, in contrast with that spirit which saves in order to command the more means for usefulness. That intelligent, be- nevolent lady, of New York city, Mrs. Prior, was .wont to practise such economy as few ladies of her rank were disposed to do; but it was always done with the high and noble aim of doing more in works of charity. Her biographer says : " The time that some spend in fashionable and heartless calls, she devoted to industry and humanity. By rising early, working late, observing the strict- est rules of economy, and subjecting herself, at times, to self-denial, she was able to visit the suffering, and to make daily appropriations from her own table for their relief." She usually ob- tained assistance to do her washing, and limited herself to a dollar a week to meet that expense. In many instances, when the amount she had assigned for some particular charity fell short of the sum actually needed, she did her own wash- ing, in order to c.ommand the necess-uy means. In 1822 she visited every family on Bowery Hill, 238 THE GOOD GIRL AND TKUE WOMAN. made herself acquainted with their moral condi- tion, established a school for the children, to the support of 'which she contributed one hundred dollars annually, saved by the most rigid economy. Miss Dix, the well-known American philanthro- pist, accomplished her remarkable labors by im- proving every moment of time, and husbanding her resources in the most economical manner. Uulike Mrs. Fry, she had not a fortune to spend in benevolent efforts, but only the fruits of her own toil. One fact, illustrative of her economy, is this: She was accustomed to purchase the mate- rials for her garments in the towns she visited, and make them up herself while travelling on steamboats, waiting for stages at public houses, and during other leisure moments, which she saved as carefully as the miser does his gold. Miss Elizabeth Carter, who thoroughly mas- tered nine languages, is another example in point. It was her design from girlhood to be highly educated. To accomplish her purpose, she was compelled to be frugal of both time and money. Yet she made herself acquainted with all kinds of domestic work, believing that every female, whatever her rank and sphere of duty, should understand these things. It was well; for her mother died, and all her brothers and sisters mar- ried and moved away, so that her father was left FRUGALITY. 289 alone. Notwithstanding her devotion to study, she resolved to return, and gladden her father's waning life. With the means she had saved, by economy, from the sale of her publications, she was able to purchase a house, "where she con- veyed her only surviving parent, and, for the last fourteen years of his life, made his daily comfort one of the ruling objects of her existence." Her case not only illustrates the beauty of filial love, but also the benefit that is often derived from early frugal habits. But for these, she would not have been able to gladden the heart of her aged father as she did. Such facts exhibit the loveliness of this element of character when it is cultivated with the be- nevolent aim to bless others. In contrast with a penurious saving for the sake of gain, it is a bright adornment of female character. It is re- lated of Margaret Boudet, that she lived in ap- parent poverty all her days. In her last sickness, two nieces had compassion upon her, and went to nurse her. As the time of her departure drew near, she requested that a notary should be sent for, as she desired to make her will. The nieces supposed that she was delirious, and knew not what she said, and therefore they did not heed her request at first. The old lady insisted that she was sane, and that she had property to dis- 290 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. pose of. The notary was called ; and when the nieces heard her will, one hundred thousand francs to each of them, they were thoroughly convinced of her insanity. She continued to dis- pose of property, however, until jive hundred thousand francs were numbered ; and then she added : " At the early age of thirteen I began to earn money. I never have had any useless ex- penses ; and during the sixty-three years since elapsed, have never passed a day without laying by something. Here are my titles and docu- ments," taking from beneath her pillow an old portfolio filled with papers, which she placed in the hands of the notary. "You will find that I have 23,000 francs a year in the public funds, two houses in the Rue St. Jaques, one on the Boulevard du Temple, and one on the Quai St. Paul. I recommend my tenants to your care, for they are all honest people, and pay their rents regularly." This is an example of that miserly hoarding, which is low and contemptible in com- parison with economy that is practised for the sake of doing good. Mary Lyon was strictly frugal. Her resources were carefully managed, that she might have wherewith to defray her expenses at school in her youth, and, in later years, that she might be able to make larger contributions to the cause FRUGALITY. 291 of benevolence. We have seen before that she gave more in 'charity than she expended upon herself. In order to do this, she was obliged to be saving in all her expenses for dress, board, and all other necessary things. Her practice cor- responded with the following sentiments, which she once uttered concerning young ladies at school : " I do more and more feel it to be important that young ladies engaged in study, and spending freely on themselves for board and tuition, should give liberally to the treasury of the Lord. This is essential to their cultivating right principles, to their forming right habits. Are not young ladies, as well as young men, while engaged in study, in danger of excusing themselves from contributing liberally, because they are spending their money to prepare themselves for usefulness ? By fortify- ing themselves with this excuse, through their whole course of education, may they not almost form the habit of feeling that everything of large amount that is to be cast into the treasury of the Lord by their own hands, must first pass through the channel of self, to fit it for the Master's service ? Ought not young ladies, in a course of education, carefully to economize in the least expenditures, lest something which ought to be put into the treasury of the Lord should flow into some other channel?" 292 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. Such economy exerts a happy influence upon character. It is not so valuable for its own sake, as for its general good effect upon the heart and life. It brightens and increases the value of other virtues. The motive is so high and noble that it lifts up and elevates the soul. The girl who is fru- gal is more likely to become an excellent, useful wo- man. Miss Lyon viewed the quality in this light when she had charge of the Mount Holyoke Fe- male Seminary. In a pamphlet which she pub- lished upon "The Tendencies of the Principles embraced, and the System adopted " in that Semi- nary, she says, speaking of "the elements that should be embraced in the social and domestic character of a lady " : "Economy consists in providing well at little comparative expense. It necessarily implies good judgment and good taste. It can be equally mani- fested in the tasteful decorations of a palace and in the simple comforts of a cottage. Suppose all ladies possessed this in a high degree^ how much more would be found, in families, of comfort and con- venience, of taste and refinement, of education and improvement, of charity, and good works ! "This institution, it is well known, is distin- guished for its economical features. Economy, however, is not adopted principally for its own sake, but as a means of education, as a mode of FRUGALITY. 293 producing favorable effects on character, and of preparing young ladies for the duties of life. The great object is to make the school really better." Let the young reader remember that she who is not wasteful of pins and needles, who preserves her wardrobe by taking each necessary stitch in season, and by carefully brushing and folding each garment when it is to be laid by, and who aims . generally to be frugal in the smallest matters per- taining to domestic life, is laying the foundation for an honorable frugality in womanhood. 25* CHAPTER XXVII -SELF-RELIANCE. SELF-RELIANCE OF MART LYON THE RICH AND POOR MAN'S DAUGHTER MADAME DE OKNL1S WANT OF THIS A FAULT OF MODERN FEMALE SOCIETY REMARK OF FREEDLEY GET- TING WELL MARRIED THE DAUGHTER WHO RELIED UPON HEB MOTHER, AND NOT UPON HERSELF THE OLD MAN'S BRIDE BELF-RELIANCE FITS GIRLS FOR VICISSITUDES REVERSES FRE- QUENT MRS. BLEEKER WIVES OF DRUNKARDS THE YOUNG MERCHANT'S WIFE IN PHILADELPHIA THE CLERGYMAN'S WIDOW AND FOUR CHILDREN THE MERCHANT'S WIDOW AND THREE CHILDREN THE WISE MERCHANT'S DAUGHTERS, AS RE- LATED BY ARTHUR THE MOST PROSPEROUS BECOME POOR MARIA ANTOINETTE NAPOLEON'S MOTHER ANNALS OF CRIME A SAD STORY SELF-RELIANCE NECESSARY TO SYMMETRY Of CHARACTER APPEAL TO THE READER. FROM her youth Mary Lyon depended more upon her own exertions than she did upon the assistance of others. This was self-reliance. It gave her courage and hope, when otherwise she would have been disheartened, and have given up in despair. Her humble circumstances were well suited to make her self-reliant. The opposite cir- cumstances tend to dwarf the powers, and dis- qualify persons to struggle long and successfully with difficulties. The daughter of the wealthy SELF-RELIANCE. 295 man, who has lived in splendor, and fared sumptu- ously every day, depends almost entirely upon others. She is not taught to do a single thing for her own support ; so that, if a reverse of for- tune throws her upon her own resources, she is totally unprepared for the change. There is noth- ing that she can do for her own support. She is well-nigh as helpless as an infant. On the other hand, the poor man's daughter has been trained to do something for her own maintenance. If she is suddenly deprived of parental assistance, she can fall back upon her own energy and acquisitions. She is not afraid of starving. Poverty does not terrify her. She has confidence in her own ability to provide for every want. In consequence of her training in the school of humble experience, Mary Lyon could have main- tained herself in several different ways. True, she could not boast of thirty different employments, with the gifted Madame De Genlis, by which, if necessary, she could earn her own living ; but yet there was enough that one of her tact, energy, and perseverance, could do for an ample livelihood. She knew this, and therefore did not fear calamity so long as reason and health remained. A defect of modern society i?, that so few girls are trained to depend upon themselves. The greater part of them depend upon their parents till they 296 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. enter upon wedded life, and then they depend upon their husbands. They are not help-meets, as that appellation was understood in the days of our grandfathers and grandmothers ; for, many a young man who takes one of them for his bride, is obliged to add one or two servants to assist in reg- ulating household affairs. The want of more self- reliance is one reason that young women of the present day accomplish so little. There is no rea- son why girls should not possess it as really as boys. It is needed in domestic as truly as in mer- cantile life. Of the latter, John Freedley says : " It is a mistaken notion that capital alone is necessary to success in business. If a man has head and hands suited to his business, it will soon procure him capital. My observations through life satisfy me that at least nine-tenths of those most successful in business start in life without any reliance except upon their own head and hands hoe their own row from the jump. All profes- sions and occupations alike give the field for talent, perseverance, and industry ; and these qualities, whether in the East, West, or South, sooner or later, will crown the aspirant with success." These remarks apply with equal force to the employment of females. Their sphere of effort is subject to changes, trials, and difficulties, not a whit less dis- couraging than those which are found amid the din of traffic. SELF-RELIANCE. 297 Too often, perhaps, tender mothers counsel their daughters in such a way as to cause them to feel that getting " well married " is the chief end of life ; for then they will have nothing to do. A husband, to this class, is a convenient provision for their maintenance; once secured, they need not trouble themselves further about what they shall eat, and what they shall drink, and wherewithal they shall be clothed. Hence it is only neces- sary that they have just energy, tact, and wisdom enough to get along till they enter the married state. We once knew a mother who reared her daughter in the most tender and delicate way, scarcely al- lowing a strong wind to tumble her beautiful curls, or a broom to tax her strength. At the age of eighteen, a gentleman, of more than twice her age, made proposals of marriage. He was a near neigh- bor, and for a long time the family had cherished a decided antipathy to him. It was not surprising, in the circumstances, that the daughter did not entertain the proposal with favor ; but she was an obedient child, and the counsels of her mother soon overcame her opposition, and she consented to become the neighbor's bride. Her mother was overheard to speak, in substance, as follows, to a near relative, who objected to the match: "My health is very poor, and I may not live long ; aud 2U3 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. who will find her a home when I am gone ? She cannot support herself, and I know not what will become of her. But if she marries , he has property, a fine house, well furnished, and all that is necessary to make a pleasant home. For my part, I think it is a good chance for her." Here, the fact that the daughter had not been reared to depend upon herself became the sole reason for her marrying a man for whom she had no affection. The result was what might have been expected. She lived with him only four or five months after their marriage, and then they separated. It is an illustration, not only of the fact that girls are gen- erally reared without any regard to self-reliance, but also of the evils which a want of this element of character often entails. We insist that self-reliance is necessary for girls in all circumstances, even for the daughters of the wealthiest parents. Vicissitudes may change the current of their lives in a single week or day, as many sad examples bear witness. If for no other reason, they need this trait of character to serve them when misfortune has swept away their possessions, or death has stricken down the friend on whom they have leaned. Miss Lyon used to say, that one reason why she would have girls thoroughly educated, was, that they might be prepared to act for themselves in the "reverses of SELF-RELIANCE. 299 fortune. These reverses are more frequent and sad than many girls suppose. Let us consider a few facts. Margaretta V. Bleeker, whose memory as an ac- complished scholar is still fresh to many of the learned of New York, became the wife of a notable physician. Her prospects were very flat- tering at the time of her marriage ; but soon they were blighted. The demon, intemperance, en- tered her happy home, and her husband became a drunkard. He speedily squandered the property which she had inherited, so that poverty and mis- ery became her portion. At this mournful period her husband died, and she was left alone. Thou- sands of females, reared in the midst of plenty, would not have been able to plan for themselves ; but she had improved her early advantages for mental improvement, so that she was qualified to obtain a livelihood by teaching, to which she de- moted herself with commendable assiduity. How many experience a change of fortune in / just this way ! Young ladies become the wives of young men, with the most pleasing prospects before them ; but alas ! their companions become inebriates in the morning of wedded life. The care and sup- port of a growing family now devolve upon them, and hands unused to toil are compelled to labor night and day to feed dependent little ones. 300 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. During the financial crisis twenty years ago, a young merchant in Philadelphia, who possessed a handsome fortune, became embarrassed, and finally was reduced to utter bankruptcy. His young wife immediately withdrew from the circles of wealth and fashion, and, being one who could easily adapt herself to circumstances, she commenced a system of economy and labor, which proved, in the end, highly beneficial. At the time of her hus- band's failure, she owed Messrs. Stewart & Co. two hundred dollars, for articles which she had used personally. Within a few years she was able to cancel this debt, principal and interest, with the fruits of her own industry and economy. We are acquainted with a clergyman's widow, who was left with four or five children several years ago. Her early education had qualified her for teaching, and, although several years had passed since she left the vocation, as she supposed forever, she resolved to return to the calling for the support and education of her children. She ob- tained a situation in a flourishing academy, and removed her family thither, that they might enjoy the advantages of the school. By this ability to rely upon her own exertions, she was enabled to support herself and children, arid. to give the latter the advantages of an excellent education. The three examples "cited exhibit the practical SELF-RELIANCE. 301 benefits of self-reliance to females. But these are rather marked examples. Where one is able to struggle s successfully with the trials and difficul- ties of life, ten have no elements of character upon which they can fall back for aid ; so they drag out miserable lives, and leave the woi'ld broken-hearted. Mr. Arthur tells us of a merchant who suddenly died, and left his wife without a dollar. He was supposed to be somewhat wealthy, but, after his death, it was found that his estate was bankrupt. " Poverty found her without any resources in her- self. She had three children dependent upon her for sustenance and education ; but she could do nothing to support and educate them. The con- sequence was, that they were all separated from her ; one was placed with a distant relative, an- other with a friend of her husband's, and the third, a boy thirteen years of age, was apprenticed to a trade ; while the mother, almost broken-hearted, sought refuge from want in the family of a poor cousin." Contrast this with the foregoing facts, and the reader can scarcely fail to observe the value of self-reliance. Mr. Arthur continues to say that another mer- chant, who was a witness of the case just cited, was so impressed by it that he discoursed to his daughters, whom he was rearing in luxury, as follows : 26 302 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. " Jane, I have been thinking a good deal about you and Edith, lately, and have at last come to a conclusion that may surprise you. It is, seriously, my opinion that you ought to qualify yourselves fully for gaining your own livelihoods, in case any reverses should meet you in after life." " Is there any danger of such H reverse, father ? " inquired Jane. *' There is nothing certain in this life. Out of every ten families raised in affluence, at least one half, perhaps two thirds, are reduced to poverty, often even before the younger members have at- tained their majority. Do you see that young woman who has just rung the bell at the house opposite ? " "Yes, sir; she is a seamstress, and works for Mrs. ." ji** "Do you know who she is? " "No, sir." " That poor girl, Jane, who now goes out to sew for her living, is the daughter of a man who was once considered among the richest of our merch- ants. But he lost all he possessed and died pen- niless." " Indeed ! " "Yes, Jane. And I could point you to more than a dozen such instances." We need not pursue the narrative farther. It SELF-RELIANCE. 303 is sufficient for our purpose to add, that the daugh- ters "followed the advice of their father and made themselves acquainted with the millinery business. In a few years their father lost every dollar he possessed, and a shock of palsy deprived him of his physical powers at the same time. The daugh- ters at once opened a milliner's shop, and were able thereby to support themselves and their parents in a very comfortable manner. No girl can say, " I shall not share an experience so bitter, though others have." Misfortune has swept away the hopes of the prosperous too often to leave the opportunity of laying this flattering unction to the soul. Even kings and queens, with all the security of thrones and royal titles, can- not arrogate to themselves this unchequered expe- rience. There was Maria Antoinette. When she was wedded to King Louis, she was distinguished for beauty and accomplishments. She was the star of the magnificent court over which she pre- sided. Yet, in a few years we see her before a civil tribunal, clad in coarse and mean apparel. Her face is pallid and thin with care and grief, and there is scarcely a trace of her former self upon her brow. In a few hours she died as male- factors die, and was buried in a coffin that cost but seven francs. There was a good deal of meaning in the words of Napoleon's mother, who carefully 304 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. saved her income from year to year, in reply to the inquiry : " Why do you, the mother of a great emperor, so carefully labor to amass money ? " She replied : " Who knows but that one day I may have to give bi'ead to all these kings ? " She lived to see the thrones of her children over- turned. But the saddest and most appalling results of a want of self-reliance are found in the annals of impurity and crime. In our populous cities thou- sands of youthful women have fallen from virtue into loathsome vice to save themselves from star- vation. Deprived of the friends upon whom they have leaned, and unable to rely upon their own exertions for maintenance, they have yielded to the solicitations of the seducer as the last resort. Had they possessed that self-reliance which proves best when most needed, and that decision which is usually found in conjunction with it, they might have been saved. Lacking this, they fell before the destroyer. But, though girls may not experience such trials as we have described, self-reliance is still an indis- pensable possession. It is necessary to a complete development of character. By-and-by these girls will occupy more responsible positions in society. Instead of being led, they will le;:d others. They SELF-RELIANCE. 305 will be obliged to plan and execute for themselves, in s^ome measure, whatever be the places they occupy. Now, self-reliance is needful in all these circumstances. They cannot act well their parts without it. We say, then, in conclusion, to the reader Cul- tivate as far as possible this excellent trait. You need not be proud, nor too self-confident, in con- sequence. Neither of these evils results from a properly developed self-reliance. Think for your-\ self, act for yourself, depend upon your own personal exertions. Heed the following advice, which the noble Henry Laurens, of South Caro- lina, who was imprisoned in the Tower of London during the revolutionary war, wrote to his daugh- ters, whom he had reared in expensive living: " It is my duty to warn you to prepare for the trial of earning your daily bread by your daily labor. Fear not servitude. Encdunter it, if it shall be necessary, with the spirit becoming a woman of an honest and pious heart." 26* ' j *' CHAPTER XXVIII. DECISION. THE MOON AND HER MOTHER CONNECTION WITH SELF-RELIANCE PRINCESS Otf ORANGE GIRLS THAT f'AY "NO" DECISION NECESSARY TO THE IMPROVEMENT OP TKIB HOW MARY LYON TAUGHT PUPILS .DECISION TEMPTATIO V TO WASTE TIME IN BED HERSELF A PATTERN OP FELLOW8HIPPING YOUNG MEN OF DOUB'TFUL CHARACTER DECISION OF RUTH NOT IMPOSSI- BLE TO CULTIVATE IT THE FATHER WHO COULD- NOT DECIDX FOR WHICH SON TO DIE REMARK OF WILLIAM WIRT. ONE of ^Esop's fables tells us that the Moon once asked her mother to make her a little cloak that would fit her well. " How," replied she, " can I make a cloak to fit "you, when you are now a new Moon, and then a full Moon, and then again neither one nor the other ? " The fable has an application to many girls; for many are like the Moon, one thing to-day and another to-morrow. Nor is this defect of character peculiar to girls. A large majority of people, old and young, of both sexes, do not possess decision of character. For this reason, many of them make no mark upon the world. No person can accomplish much with- DECISION. 307 out this element of character. It is one of that union of qualities which alone can achieve success ; it is the secret spring of self-reliance, just con- sidered. A girl must be decided, if she would depend upon her own exertions to triumph over difficulties. It is equally necessary, too, in the formation of an excellent character. There are so many temptations, so many perplexities and deceptions, so many things to warp or bias opin- ion and practice, in this world, that it is ex- ceedingly difficult to form a high, virtuous char- acter. Every day and hour decision is necessary to this end. If Anne, the Princess of Orange, had not possessed this trait, it would never have been said of her : " Her heart was firm and magnan- imous, her principles were sure and invariable, her. opinions constant, founded upon the laws of God and probity and justice ; and nothing could alter or change them. She gained the mastery over her passions over all their illusions and irregular desires. Her heart abhorred vice, and detested falsehood and cunning. . Neither fear nor death itself ever found her weak or pusillan- imous." Girls that learn to utter at the proper tune a resolute, decided No ! have the advantage of the wavering and hesitating class. They are frequently solicited to mingle in amusements of doubtful char- 308 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. acter, and they will yield to the invitation nnless decision be a prominent trait. This has been true of many girls who have become vain and worldly. Their instructions and associations from childhood may have been adverse to such worldliness, but they lacked the firm resolve that refuses an invi- tation, and so were borne away upon the easy tide of pleasure. It requires more decision than many suppose, to refuse the proposals of friendship and kindness at such a time. She who has not been trained to decision of character, is almost sure to yield. This trait is necessary to the proper improve- ment of time. The love of ease or frivolity may set up its claim for a good share of the time, and it will require no small degree cf this element to be able always to resist the temptation. Even to rise early in the morning cannot be steadily accom- plished without it. When Miss Lyon had charge of the Mount Holyoke Seminary, she recognized this fact in her plan of making her pupils early risers, an account of which we have as follows : She would say, "Now, young ladies, I want every one of you to fix on an hour for rising for a week to come. Be sure not to fix on too early an hour, for it would not injure your character nearly so much to make a mistake, and decide to rise at six, when you might rise at half-past five without DECISION. 309 any injury to your health, as to fail of meeting your own appointment." Then she would proceed : " All who have de- cided on their time of rising for a week, may raise their hands." The- undecided would not lift their hands. " You may all rise, then ; all means every one. Yes, all are on their feet now. If you have decided on your time of rising, you may take your seat." The narrator says, " The lovers of their own ease and comfort would be left standing, while a large majority of the school were com- fortably seated. " As fast as you fix on the hour, you may take your seats," was the curt and effect- ive address to those who were still unable to decide. No one could sit down undecided, with- out acting a falsehood, which was considered in the school dishonorable, as well as wrong. If any were inclined to stand it out, she was patient with them, and willing to stand as long as they did. When all had^signified that the decision was made, they were directed to write down their decision, and hand their papers to her, or keep them till she called for them. One of the first remarks on the succeeding day would be, " How did you succeed, young ladies, about rising ? You may all stand. Those who were up this morning at the time they set yesterday, may take their seats." A very large majority would be found to have kept their res- 310 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. olutions, and the delinquents could complain of no one but themselves." The reader will notice that she insisted upon their rising just at the time fixed, declaring that it would injure their characters more to fail of rising at the time specified, than not to rise habitually so early by one half hour as they might. She would say, " If that hour is five, and you are on your feet before the clock has done striking, then you are punctual ; but if you lie five minutes, or even one, after that hour passes, you are tardy, and you must lose a little respect for yourself in consequence." Her plan was well suited not only to make them early risers, but also to make them decided. If they had resolu- tion enough to spring to their feet the very mo- ment they set to rise, notwithstanding the plea of drowsiness to the contrary, they would have res- olution enough to resist many other temptations, and to discharge other duties promptly. It would be a habit that would aid them in meeting all their obligations. Miss Lyon herself was a pattern of that decision which she urged the young to cultivate. Some called her " set in her opinions ;" but they mistook her genuine decision for obstinate adherence to preconceived ideas. Her biographer says : " Those who did not entirely agree with her, had too much confidence in her earnest and benevolent inten- DECISION. 311 tions to try to thwart her plans. She was, as they thought, and as she very well knew, set in her opinions ; but she was set only when sure she was right." Again : " She made the impresswn on every one with whom she had anything to do, from the common day laborer to the president of a col- lege, that if she had set herself to do anything, it was of no use to oppose her." One fact, hereto, fore stated, is proof of her remarkable decision. She resolved to devote her life to the instruction of young ladies ; and so resolutely did she carry out her determination, as to refuse, at once, a flat- tering offer of marriage. Many young ladies who become members of our Normal Schools, under the regulation that they shall teach one year in the commonwealth, after their education is com- pleted, enter into the matrimonial state within a few months, without any regard to their pledge. The same is true of some who go to the West to teach, under the auspices of the society that fur- nishes teachers to that portion of our countiy. The example of Miss Lyon appears more remark- able in contrast with theirs. In another place we have referred to the fact, that young ladies often have fellowship with young men of doubtful character in the social circle. Perhaps it arises, in a measure, from the want of decision enough to show that the unprincipled are 312 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. unworthy of their society. It demands courage to be sufficiently decided in such a case, and few there are who possess it. It is said that Queen Victoria, in an assembly of the dignitaries of her realm, actually turned her back upon one of the number who approached her with grace and def- erence, and the reason she assigned was the rep- utation of the man for vicious practices. This was rare independence, and a little more of it among the young women of our land would contribute largely to their character and influence. How beautiful was this trait in the lovely Ruth ! She meant to be a faithful daughter, cost what it might. Therefore, she would leave her native land, or make any other sacrifice for her mother's sake. " "Where thou goest I will go ; where thou lodgest I will lodge ; thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God." This is the language of deci- sion. It is strong and heart-felt. In a religious point of view, it is an interesting resolve. Ruth had relinquished her heathen superstitions, and become a worshipper of the true God ; and now she decided to share the future with her mother, at whatever sacrifice of feeling or comfort. If every young disciple of our Lord would declare, with equal firmness, to him, " Where thou goest I will go," though it lead me away from home and kindred, and all the heart holds dear, to lands of DECISION. 313 darkness, it would be a stand for Christ worthy of their profession. Alas ! the want of this decision, brings reproach upon the name of Jesus. It is not often that the young or old are placed in circumstances where the exercise of this trait of character is impossible. As we have said, many times it will require courage, and great resolution, but it is scarcely once in a lifetime when circum- stances will render decision impossible. A his- torian relates that a father went to a tyrannical ruler to secure the pardon of his two sons, who were condemned to die with other military men. He offered a large amount of money, and his own life, to ransom them. He was informed that this equivalent would be accepted for one of his sons, because the laws required the sacrifice of two ; he must, therefore, decide which of the two sons should be spared. He was ready to offer his life for one or both ; but he was unable to decide which should live, and which should die. While in this painful dilemma, both the sons were re- manded to execution. It is only once in an age that kindre'd perplexities and difficulties, perhaps we may call them impossibilities^ arise. It was a remark of Wirt, " Decision of charac- ter will often give to an inferior mind the com- mand over the superior." 27 CHAPTER XXIX. PERSEVERANCE. REMARK OF MADAME NECKER THIS QUALITY NECESSARY IN MINOR DUTIES NECESSARY TO ENERGY AND GENERAL STRENGTH OP CHARACTER PERSEVERANCE OF MARY LYON MADE HER A TEACHER AND POUNDER OP MOUNT HOLYOKE SEMINARY TESTIMONY OF DR. HITCHCOCK STICKING TO A THING HAN- UAH MORE, AND HER LABORS IN A WICKED COMMUNITY THE WIPE OP DR. JOHN KITTO ALL NEED THE QUALITY LINES OP A POET. IT was a remark of Madame Necker, that " Want of perseverance is the great fault of woman in everything, morals, attention to health, friend- ship, etc." This remark is probably just. Women do not necessarily engage in those pursuits which are best suited to develop this element of 'success- ful living. Here and there one only is placed in circumstances, and subjected to a discipline, that enable her to become eminent for this quality. Hence, it is not thought necessary that girls should be educated with reference to this trait. The other sex grapple with the main difficulties of life, and prosecute nearly all enterprises triumphantly to the PERSEVERANCE. 315 end. But perseverance is just as requisite in per- forming the minor duties of life well, and in prose- cuting the minor purposes of life, as in those of more importance. A girl needs this trait in pur- suing her studies in the school-room, and in ac- quiring a competent knowledge of needle-work and domestic economy. * An eminent teacher said to the writer, "Girls are more easily -discouraged than boys with difficulties in their studies. They are not so persevering to master the complex things of some of the sciences." He might have had a peculiar experience ; yet we think that teachers generally would confirm his testimony; Perseverance is an element of character which is indispensable, though a person may not meet with any obstacles in his or her pathway. It is necessary to that energy and general strength of character which successful persons usually possess. All the females who have been prominent in good achieve- ments possessed it. Without it Mary Lyon would never have founded the Female Seminary at South Hadley, nor even prepared herself for a teacher. When we consider the obstacles which she over- came in acquiring an education, and the prejudice, apathy, and opposition which she encountered in raising means for the erection of her favorite Semi- nary, we are compelled to say that her persever- ance was never surpassed by any of her sex. Her 316 THE GOOD GIKL AND TRUE WOMAN. own friends and relatives admired her plans and commended her spirit ; but some of them felt obliged to say, " The thing" is impossible." They saw scarcely any hope of its success. But her own heart did not fail her, unless it was on one occa- sion, when a meeting was called in Boston to aid the enterprise, and which proved a failure. She wrote of it : " There was a meeting appointed in Boston, in reference to the plan of a Seminary. Very few were present. Tlje meeting was ad- joured; and the adjourned meeting utterly failed. There were, not enough present to organize, and there the business in my view has come to an end. I do not think it best to revive the subject again. The indications of Providence appear to me plain." But her discouragement was not of long duration. Her lofty spirit mounted above these scenes of doubt and darkness, and she trampled upon every difficulty in her triumphal march to success. It consumed a long time, and here her perseverance becomes especially manifest. It was not the number of the Grecian army, nor the skill of their great commander, Achilles, that conquered the strong city of Troy, but the ten years of earnest, persevering struggle. The Egyptian pyramids were the work of successive years, rising little by little in their solemn grandeur, until the last stone was raised. Thus it has been with all remarkable PEKSEVERANCE. 31 7 enterprises in the ages gone by. Without perse- verance the Mount Holyoke Seminary would have failed. Speaking of this trait of Miss Lyon's character, Dr. Hitchcock said, in his anniversary address, after her decease : "Finally, I must not omit to mention her -great mental energy and invincible perseverance. That energy was a quiet power, but you saw that it had giant strength. It might fail of success to-day, but in that case it calmly waited till to-morrow. Nay, a score of failures seemed only to rouse the inventive faculty to devise new modes of operation ; nor would the story of the ant that fell backward sixty-nine times in attempting to climb a wall, and succeeded only upon the seventieth trial, be an ex- aggerated representation of her perseverance. Had she lacked this energy and perseverance, she might have been distinguished in something else, but she never would have been the founder of Mount Hol- yoke Female Seminary." An eccentric writer defines perseverance, " stick- ing to a thing." The definition points us to the secret of that power which perseverance ever wields. It is not a few spasmodic, strenuous efforts that secure success, so much as " sticking " to the work with a pertinacity that knows no defeat, [f a girl undertakes to acquire a knowledge of any 27 318 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. science, as Astronomy or Philosophy, it is the work of many weeks and months of patient study. A few unusual and desperate exertions will not secure the triumph. She is to add little to little, slow and sure, as- the coral insect constructs an island of splendor in the sea. Again, Miss Lyon reminds us of Hannah More in respect to persevering endeavors. The latter originated that system of schools for the poor, for which she was highly distinguished, in circum- stances of the most discouraging nature. She de- scribes her trials as follows : " I was told we should meet with great opposition, if I did not try to pro- pitiate the chief despot of the village [the first place where she established a school], who is very rich and very brutal ; so I ventured to the den of this monster, in a country as savage as himself. He begged I would not think of bringing any religion into the country ; it made the poor lazy and use- less. In vain I represented to him that they would be more industrious as they were better principled ; and that I had no selfish view in what I was doing. He gave me to understand that he knew the world too well to believe either one or the other. I was almost discouraged from more visits; but I found that friends must be secured, at all events ; for if these rich savages set their faces against us, I saw that nothing but hostilities would ensue. So I PERSEVERANCE. 319 made eleven more of these disagreeable visits ; and, as I improved in the art of canvassing, had better success. Miss TV. would have been shocked had she seen the petty tyrants whose insolence I stroked and tamed, the ugly children I praised, the pointers and spaniels I caressed, the cider I commended, and the wine I swallowed. After these irresistible flat- teries, I inquired of each if he could recommend me to a house, and said that I had a little plan which I hoped would secure their orchards from being robbed, their rabbits from being shot, their game from being stolen, and which might lower the poor- rates. If effect be the best proof of eloquence, then mine was a good speech ; for I gained, in time, the hearty concurrence of the whole people, and their promise to discourage or favor the poor, as they were- attentive or negligent in sending their children." She made her conquest, against the influence of the despot of the village, by personal conversation with one individual after another, a work that required the most patient and perse- vering spirit. It was the beginning of an enter- prise which brought to the author of it a world- wide fame. The wife of Dr. John Kitto is another example of perseverance. Her husband was perfectly deaf, and, of course, was shut out from nearly all inter- course with the world. His literary pursuits re- 320 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. quired much research in extensive libraries, and this consumed time which he desired to devote to writing. His wife had not been reared with any reference to a literary career, so that she could not render him any special assistance in his studies without first surmounting some imposing obstacles in her path. She nevertheless resolved to become a literal help-meet to her husband, and she per- severed in her endeavors to become acquainted with the subjects upon which he was writing, until she rendered herself so useful to him that he could scarcely prosecute his studies without her assistance. It is probable that no man of letters was ever aided to such an extent by his wife, as was Dr. Kitto, for along series of years. But she never could have accomplished so much if perseverance had not im- parted energy and strength to her character. - It is not necessary to multiply illustrations upon this topic. All admit the value of perseverance, at least, all who have lived long enough to observe its triumphs in the world. We would have the young reader value it as adapted to the sphere and mission of girls. Let not boys have all the glory that is to be won by this stately quality. Girls need it as really as they. Let them persevere in well-doing, and verily they will have their reward. No matter how humble is the work they undertake, this quality will be of lasting service to them. Even PEKSEVEKAJJCE. 321 in the discharge of the most common-place duties of each day, it will be found invaluable. The sen- timent of the folio wing lines ought to be no less th sentiment of girls than boys : " Never give up ! it is wiser and better Always to hope than once to despair; Fling off the load of doubt's cankering fetter, And break the dark spell of tyrannical care ! Never give up! or the burthen may sink ~u "*'i -.;."> Providence kindly has mingled the cup, And, in all trials or troubles, bethink you, The watchword of life must be, Never give up ! " Never give up! there are chances and changes, Helping the hopeful a hundred to one ; And, through the chaos, high wisdom arranges Ever success if you '11 only hope on. Never give up ! for the wisest is boldest, .,-;-; . Knowing that Providence mingles the cup ; And of all maxims, the best and the oldest Is the true watchword of, Never give up! . " Never give up ! though the grape-shot may rattla, Or the full thunder-cloud over you burst, Stand like a rock, and the storm or the battle Little shall harm you, though doing their worst! Never give up ! if adversity presses, Providence wisely has mingled the cup ; And the best counsel in all your distresses Is the stout watchword of, Never give up I" CHAPTER XXX. v SELF-POSSESSION. HISS LTON' E8ENCEOFMIND SPRINGING FROM DECISION AST) SELF-RE;,. A NCE THE YOUNG LADY AND FRACTIOUS HORSE THE CHILD ON FIRE THE PLEASURE PARTY CHILD SEIZED WITH CONVULSIONS SELF-POSSESSION WOULD HAVE BEEN VAL- UABLE IN ALL THESE CASES MRS. DAVIE88 OF KENTUCKY THE SCHOOL-HOUSE OU FIRE WOMAN WHO SHOT THE ROBBER IS ASHLAND, MASS. SUITED TO FEMALE CHARACTER SOME GIRLS THINK TIMIDITY IS LADY-LIKE SELF-POSSESSION OF THB CHRISTIAN DIVINE WORDS. QUALITIES hitherto considered combined to give Miss Lyon remarkable presence of mind. Those strong elements of character like decision and self- reliance, are well suited to beget this indispensable quality ; for it is that condition of mind and heart that renders a person calm and unconfused in cir- cumstances of danger, suffering, sorrow, and any marked surprise. Such occasions arise daily in the experience of old and young of both sexes. With- out self-possession they often bring persons into difficulty. They become the sport of these sur- prises, and bring evil not only upon themselves, but ulso upon others. Miss Lyon always reaped SELF-POSSESSION. 323 the fruits of this excellent trait. No trials, or unex- pected events of any kind, deprived her of self-corn- niand. We have cited incidents of heMife, in pre- vious chapters, which show how great was her self- possession even when malignant disease was filling others with consternation. That women daily need this element of character may be learned from the following facts : A young lady was riding with her betrothed friend, when the horse became restive, and dashed on at a furious rate. The girl at once lost command of herself, and began to scream, which caused the horse to be still more furious. Her own reason and common sense would have told her that screaming would frighten the animal into greater fury, but neither of them are allowed to advise when self-possession is wanting. A young woman was left in charge of a child, during a brief absence of its parents. Accidentally it's clothes took fire, and, instead of promptly ex- tinguishing the flames, she screamed, and ran out of doors for help, leaving the little sufferer to die a horrible death. Presence of mind would havo enabled her to save the child from this painful end. A pleasure party were sailing on a still and beau- tiful lake. The large number put them in rather a precarious condition, although care and coolness would have carried them safely on their excursion. 324 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. A young lady changed her position so suddenly that the boat dipped a little water. She uttered a scream, and sprang to the other side, while others did the same, and immediately the boat was upset, and several of the party were drowned. A child was unexpectedly seized with convulsions as his fond mother and other members of the family sat with him in the room. In an instant he fell prostrate and convulsed upon the floor, The mother and sister cried out in great excitement, one running hi one direction and the other in another, yet to no purpose, while the afflicted boy lay writhing in a fit. They were totally unfitted to render suitable aid in consequence of their fright. A multitude of such cases are occurring daily. In the first instance, if the young lady had been self-possessed, the horse might have been controlled. In the second, self-possession would have easily ex- tinguished the flames that caught the child's dress. In the third, the same presence of mind would have prevented the upsetting of the boat. And in the fourth, it would have enabled the mother and sister to attend at once to the relief of the convulsed child. Here is certainly a very valuable trait to cultivate. It will often be of great service to every woman. The foregoing, contrasted with the follow- ing facts, illustrate more fully this point : In the early history of our country, the wife of SELF-POSSESSION. 325 a Mr. Daviess, of Kentucky, distinguished herself for self-possession in times of imminent danger. On one occasion a party of Indians came to her house, during her husband's absence, and ordered herself and children to prepare to leave as their prisoners. As Mr. D. was gone with a small party in pursuit of a robber, and was expected to return every moment, she contrived to delay the Indians by showing them her dresses. The expedient was a good one for the object she had in view, and evinced a good degree of self-control. At another time, a notorious plunderer came to her dwelling when she was alone, with the intention of rifling the house. He was armed with gun and tomahawk, and presented a very savage and fierce appearance. "With much coolness she set whiskey upon the table and invited him to drink. Unsuspectingly, he accepted the invitation, and set down his gun. She immediately seized it, and, pointing it to his breast, declared that if he stirred an inch she would fire. The desperado was terrified at his appalling danger, and dared not stir from his tracks. Her husband soon returned to her relief. There was great presence of mind evinced in this expedient to capture the robber. Without it she might have lost both property and life. Not long since, a public school-house, in a large city, took fire, from some defect in the arrangement 28 326 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. for warming the rooms. There were several hun- dred pupils in the building at the time. One of the female teachers discovered the fire, and, instead of screaming as loudly as possible in her fright, as some females would have done, she thought of the injury and probable death that would occur if the pupils should rush en masse to the doors for safety. In a moment she resolved to communicate the knowledge of the fire to the teachers in the several rooms, that they might direct their pupils to leave their seats in order, without informing them that the house was on fire. In this way every one es- caped without injury. Had she cried " Fire! " the moment she discovered it, and rushed into the rooms with this cry upon her lips, many would have been injured, and perhaps killed, in the attempt to escape. The reader probably remembers the case of the woman in Ashland, Mass., who shot the midnight robber. It illustrates the subject before us so well that we must give it somewhat in detail. She was a very timid woman so timid that she fixed upon that time for her husband to be absent, as there would be a moon a good part of the night. Yet she was a person of remarkable presence of mind, as the details of this occurrence will show. She was aroused from her slumber, about one o'clock in the morning, by a noise. She raised herself up in bed, SELF-POSSESSION. 327 and listened. Sh ^ heard a noise below, as if some one hit a chair v ith his foot. She arose, went to the door, turned vhe key softly, and opened it just enough to see and listen. She saw the light from a dark lantern reflected upon the banister, and heard whispering. " Ro bbers, surely !" she thought. She stepped back to the head of the bed for a gun which her husband kept loaded there. Returning to the door, she recollected that her spectacles were upon the toilet-stand ; and, being too near sighted to use a gun to advantage without them, she stepped back for them, and adjusted them upon her eyes. She then opened the door wide, "walked to the head of the stairs, and asked, "What is wanted ? " No voice replied ; but the hall was still as the grave. ** What' is wanted ? " she inquired again, in a more emphatic tone. "Hold your tongue, or I 'II blow your brains out ! " was the re- sponse from an unknown man at the foot of the stairs. She fired as soon as she could bring the gun to her shoulder, and the exclamation, " 0, God! " assured her that she did not miss the mark. " Cour- ageous woman ! " exclaim many persons. But she was not courageous. She coultl not sleep, gener- ally, when her husband was absent, on account of fear. It was self-possession that enabled her to perform that unusual feat. Nothing more is dis- covered in it than remarkable presence of mind. 328 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. Many females would have fainted, and left their dwelling to be ransacked by the villains. This ele- ment of her character was of service not only to herself and family, but also to the community. The chief of the police of Boston remarked to a friend of the author, that the " act of this woman, in shoot- ing the robber, did more to check burglaries in the city and vicinity than the whole police force, be- cause it showed this class that women can use fire- arms to defend their habitations." To some this element of character appears too masculine for females, and they are quite disposed to treat the matter with disfavor. Perhaps the examples cited are not selected from the most ap- propriate class. We do not expect that females will be called upon to defend themselves from the attacks of savages, or that they will often be sum- moned to repel burglars from their abodes. We cite these examples because they are striking, that the nature of self-possession may more clearly ap- pear. It is a quality necessary to strength of character, and no girl is fully qualified to fulfil the mission of life without it. Dignity and efficiency are promoted by it in a great degree. Some girls appear to think that a kind of timidity and confusion of mind are alone lady -like at times. Hence they never aim to rise above the fear of spiders, and other animals which sometimes SELF-POSSESSION. 329 cross their paths. The sight of one of these crea- tures extorts a shriek of surprise and fear from them, as if they were near the jaws of crocodiles. We have witnessed this want of presence of mind in girls with mingled pity and disgust. It is a weak- ness that will expose the actors to evil in the most important period of life. A girl who will tremble and shriek over a harmless spider has not self-pos- session enough to meet the stern realities of later life. There is many a trial, and perhaps calamity, that may come upon her like an armed man, and without this quality she will be poorly fitted for the bitter experience. The self-possession of the true Christian is really sublime. His trust in God is implicit, and he has no doubt that all things will work together for his good. No trial or calamity surprises him. No misfortune or disappointment overcomes him. He recognizes the hand of God in the whole of life's affairs, and is ready to say, with the poet, "What- ever is, is right." How calm he is in sorrow ! How cool and self-possessed in the midst of peril ! Let him walk the deck of a burning steamer, and, like Dr. Armstrong, he moves among the terrified and frantic passengers as an angel of mercy, directing them to the stronghold of hope in the skies. A sublimer spectacle cannot be imagined. And this is presence of mind that flows from a sweet trust 28* 230 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOJULN. in God. Is not the quality desirable? Who would not possess it? Surely no girl that desires strength and efficiency of character would live without it. " Who shall find a valiant woman ? The price of her is as things brought from afar off, and from the uttermost coast. The heart of her husband trusteth in her." Prov. " Presence of mind and courage in distress, Are more than armies to procure success." CHAPTER XXXI. FORTITUDE. CON7TECTION WITH SELF-POSSESSION MART LYON AN EXAMPLE OF FORTITUDE BEAUTY IN IT HARRIET NEWELL DECIDING TO BE A 'MISSIONARY GENUINE HEROISM FEMALES NOT IN- CAPABLE OF DISPLAYING THIS T^AIT EIGHTEEN WIVES IN THE MAYFLOWER MARY CHILTON WOMEN OF THE REVOLUTION MRS. HARRINGTON, OF LEXINGTON MRS. PRIOR IMPRISONED IN HOUSE OF ILL-FAME AARON BURR AND HIS AUNT RECORDS OF MARTYRDOM EXECUTION OF LADY JANE GREY LINES ON WALL OF HEli PRISON PERSUASIVE TO CULTIVATE THIS QUAL- ITY- SELF-POSSESSION depends much upon fortitude, an element of character that girls cannot afford to forego ; for, as Locke says, " Fortitude is the guard and support of all the other virtues." In a sense, this is true. Timid persons are likely to yield to circumstances, and in this way they often sacrifice the best qualities of the heart. On the other hand, the resolute and courageous cause circumstances to yield to them. They are not disheartened by the sight of difficulties or trials, though others may have cowered before them. In a world like this, where vicissitudes are many, such a firm and reso- lute spirit is necessary. This class of minds alone 332 THE (JOOD GIRL AND TRUE "WOMAN. achieve anything worthy of being chronicled with the life-work of Mary Lyon. As an example of fortitude, her life presents one of the noblest pic- tures on record. It is difficult to separate her for- titude and self-reliance. It is impossible to say which was the more prominent. It is certain that her courage to fulfil her mission, despite every dis- couragement, never failed her. Without a good degree of fortitude she would never have resolved to become a teacher ; and much less would she have decided to prosecute the Seminary enter- prise. Such projects and efforts demand true heroism. Those who conceive and carry them forward exhibit their strongest qualities of mind in so doing. Some may undervalue this trait as a part of female character, thinking that a timid, fearful spirit is more becoming that sex ; but we point them to the life of Mary Lyon, and ask if there be not beauty in her fortitude. If she had shrunk from the long and weary work of years before her, and sat down disheartened as imposing obstacles rose in her path, while yet she was conscious of having a pressing duty to perform, the charm of her noble life would have vanished away. Courage was not a misplaced ornament of her character. Without it her character would have wanted sym- metry and loveliness. FORTITUDE. 333 If still it is thought that fortitude is too mascu- line for woman, let me call attention to the moral heroism of Harriet Newell, of whose consecration to the missionary work, at the age of seventeen, we have spoken in a former chapter. Orators may point us to the tented field, where patriots bled and died for their country, and poets may sing of the days of chivalry, when knighted lovers risked life itself for the loved; but there is more calm, invincible, and sublime heroism in the decision of this pious girl to bear the gospel to a distant land, than in all the records of well-fought battles, and the tales of ancient knighthood. Think of a girl just blooming into womanhood, pondering the me*- mentous question, whether she should leave her home, and spend her life in guiding the heathen of a distant country to Christ, or yield to the claims of affection and dwell beneath the parental roof in her native land ! Consider that she has no bright example to cheer her on, since no pious female has crossed the ocean upon this blessed errand. With- out a guide or pattern, and hence without a single chapter of missionary life to aid her decision, she is to resolve for or against the work of love. She is to be the first female missionary to benighted nations, and try the grand experiment for her sex: Is the Christian fortitude that nerved her to de- cide for God, and the good of her dying fellow- 334 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. men, of little worth to woman ? Is it no ornament to female character ? no embellishment to even the most graceful features of the sex ? We need not answer these inquiries. The reader will reply to them correctly. f/v* We err not, then, in claiming so much for this virtue. Every person needs it. It is not a quality to be overlooked or undervalued without detri- ment. A girl must possess the trait if she would bring much to pass. Many suppose that females are incapable of pos- sessing this quality in a high degree. But this is not the case, if the facts cited, and the numerous examples of sacred and profane history, are to be regarded at all. Very often females have surpassed the most daring heroism of men in meeting danger and suffering. As a general thing, .they exhibit far more fortitude in sharing the trials, disappoint- ments, and distresses of life. The annals of poverty and sorrow, of sickness and pain, present many ex- amples of enduring courage that put the other sex to the blush. In the Mayflower there were eighteen heroic wives, who rejoiced to share the privations and hardships of their companions for " freedom to worship God." The first foot that pressed the rock of Plymouth, if tradition utters the truth, was that of Mary Chilton, a beautiful maiden, whose charms would adorn the best circles FORTITUDE. SoO of the present day. " On the unfloored hut she, who had been nurtured amid the rich carpets and curtains of the mother-land, rocked her new-born babe, and complained not. She who, in the home of her youth, had arranged the gorgeous shades of embroidery, or, perchance, had compounded the rich venison pasty, as her share in the house- keeping, now pounded the coarse Indian corn for her children's bread, and bade them ask God's blessing ere they took their scanty portion. When the snows sifted through their miserable roof-trees upon her little ones, she gathered them closer to her bosom; she taught them the bible, and the catechism, and the holy hymn, though, the war- whoop of the Indian rung through the wild. Amid the untold hardships of colonial life, she infused new strength into her husband by her firmness, and solaced his weary hours by her love." This was true, unwavering fortitude. The women of the Mayflower compared well with the men thereof in the noble and valiant spirit with which they endured the voyage over the untraversed sea, and the trials and perils of a home in the un- broken wilderness. In the days of the American Revolution the spirit of woman rose superior to all the dan- gers and sufferings of that eventful period. Not a little of the bravery and patriotic devotion of 336 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. men on the field of battle should be credited to the courage and patriotism of the women at home. Their firmness and noble daring for the cause of their country reminds us of the Phoenician women, "who agreed that, if their country lost a certain battle, they would perish in the flames, and who crowned with flowers her who, made that propo- sition in a council." One of these "women of the Revolution," who resided in Lexington, heard, early one morning, that the British soldiers were marching upon the town. She ran to the stairs, and called aloud to her son, who was sleeping in the chamber: "Jonathan, you must get up ! the regulars are coming ! Something must be done ! " The voice of the courageous mother inspired the son of sixteen years with fortitude, and he bounded upon the floor, and hurried away, as if bidden to a frolic. It was this kind of female courage that brightened the prospect of the early champions of liberty. It infused life and spirit and undying hope into the breasts of those who fought the battles of freedom. Twice we have spoken of the labors of Mrs. Prior among the poor and vicious of New York city ; and we refer to her again. One day she stepped into a house of ill-fame, to leave a tract, when the door was closed by some of the inmates, who said, as they locked it, " You are our prisoner." " For a mo- FORTITUDE. 387 ment," said Mrs. Prior, " my heart was tremulous. I said nothing till the risings of fear were quelled, and then replied, pleasantly, ' Well, if I am a pris* oner, I shall pray here, and would sing praises to G.d if I were not so hoarse. Yes, bless the Lord ! his presence can make me happy here, or anywhere, and you can have no power to harm me unless he gives it. This is a dreadful place, to be sure, but it is not so bad as hell ; for there there is no hope. The smoke of their torment ascendeth up forever and ever! What a mercy that we are not all there ! What compassion in the blessed Jesus that he spares us, when our sins are every day so great ! 1 I talked to them in this manner, till they were glad to open the door as a signal for my release." Her fortitude and self-possession would not have been* surpassed by a male in kindred circumstances. Another class of incidents, showing that woman is equal to almost any circumstances, where duty calls for fortitude, is represented by the following : The notorious Aaron Burr visited his uncle, Hon. Timothy Edwards, in 1809, in the town of Stock- bridge, Mass. It was the first visit he paid the family after his return from Europe. His aunt was a woman of deep-toned piety, with courage enough to perform, the most unpleasant duty. On the morning of Col. Burr's departure, while his carriage was waiting at the door, she asked him to go with 29 338 THE GOOD GIKL AND TRUE WOMAN. her into the north room, where she besought him to be a better man. Of that scene, she said : " I cannot tell you how anxious I felt, as I, an old wo- man, went through the hall with that great man, Col. Burr, to admonish him, and to lead him to re- pentance. After we were by ourselves, I said to him, ' Col. Burr, I have a thousand tender memories associated with you. I took care of you in your childhood, and I feel the deepest concern over your erring steps. You have committed a great many sins against Gjxl, and you killed that great and good man, Gen. Hamilton. I boseech you to re- pent, and fly to the blood and righteousness of the Redeemer for v pardon. I cannot bear to think of your being lost, and I often pray most earnestly 'for your salvation.' The only reply he made to me," continued the excellent old lady, " was, ' Oh, aunt, don't feel so badly; we shall both meet in heaven yet ; meanwhile, may God bless you.' He then tenderly took my hand am", left the house." Few men would have dared to reprove Burr as did this Christian woman. r *.-: The records of martyrdom contain no brighter examples of moral courage than tl ose of the female sex. Many pious women, even n the bloom of youth, have yielded life in the noblest triumph. Lady Jane Grey was only eighteen years of age when she was doomed to die, with her husband, for FORTITUDE. 839 no* real offence whatever. She was beautiful and accomplished ; and she received her sentence with the composure and magnanimity of one whose re- ward is on high. ' On the day of their execution, her husband desired to see her ; but she returned a message to the import that " the tenderness of their parting would overcome the fortitude of both, and would too much unbind them from that constancy which their .approaching end required of them. Our separation," said she, " will be only for a few moments, and we shall soon regain each other in a scene where our affections will be forever united, and where death, disappointment, and misfortunes, ' can no longer disturb our felicity." She bore her trials with calmness, even when she was conveyed to the scaffold, and stood before the executioner. She addressed the multitude with the utmost ten- derness, and moved them to tears. She freely for- gave her cruel persecutors ; and then meekly and composedly bowed her head upon the block, when a single blow terminated her life. Thus died a girl who " had" the birth of a princess, the learning of a divine, and the life of a saint; and yet suffered the death of a malefactor for the offences of her pa- rents." The noble Christian spirit with which she met her Bufferings in the Tower, and viewed approaching death to which she was sentenced, may be learned 340 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. from the following lines, which she inscribed up*on the wall of her room with a pin. They were written in Latin, and paraphrased ; and they run thus : " Think not, mortal! vainly gay, That thou from human woes art free; The bitter cup I drink to-day To-morrow may be drank by thee ! " " Harmless all malice, if our God be nigh; Fruitless all pains, if he his help deny. Patient I pass these gloomy hours away, And wait the morning of eternal day ! " It is evident, then, that females are capable of exhibiting the highest kind of fortitude, and also, that it is a valuable and ornate quality. In every example given, it makes female character appear to greater advantage, as the reader will readily grant. It remains only to add a persuasive to the reader to strive to cultivate this trait. It will never come amiss, or be useless, though the path of life lead you among flowers instead of thorns. Prize it, both as a safeguard and adornment, and never sacrifice it to a false idea of feminine grace and propriety. " Yet, it may be, more lofty courage dwells In one weak heart which braves an adverse fate", Than his whose ardent soul indignant swells, Warmed by the fight, or cheered through high debate." CHAPTER XXXII. PIETY. CROWNING EXCELLENCE A FEMALE INFIDEL REMARKS Off HANNAH MORE AND REV. J. A. JAMES THEY REPRESENT VIEWS OF ALL WRITERS MARY WOLSTENCROFT CONDEMNED FOR INFIDELITY FRA.NCE8 WRIGHT AND LAFAYETTE MANY GIRLS LIVING WITHOUT GOD MARY LYON'S PIETY INCREASED LUSTRE OF OTHER VIRTUES RELIGION ADAPTED TO NATURE AND SPHERE OF WOMAN THE TEMPLE OF VESTA GIRLS NEED RELIGION TO CULTIVATE SOME OF FOREGOING QUALITIES TO SHIELD THEM FROM TEMPTATION TO PREPARE THEM FOR THE VICISSITUDES OF LIFE MBS. COMSTOCK, THE MISSION- ARY IT PREPARES FOR EXCHANGE OF WORLDS LAST HOURS OF A PIOUS YOUNG LADY LINER CONCLUSION. THE crowning excellence of female character is piety. No qualities, however desirable and lovely, can supply the absence of this. Says Hannah More : " Let no mistaken girl fancy she gives a proof of her wit by her want of piety, or that a contempt for. things serious and sacred will exalt her under- standing, or raise her character, even in the opin- ion of the most avowed male infidels. For one may venture to affirm, that, with all their profligate ideas, both of women and religion, neither Boling- ' 29* 342 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. broke, Wharton, Buckingham, nor even Lord Chesterfield himself, would have esteemed a woman the more for her being irreligious." Says Rev. John Angell James : " Beauty is woman's attribute, and her form, when seen in more than usual charms, is the most perfect type of exquisite symmetry to be found in the whole material universe. And if woman's form be the finest specimen of material beauty, woman's piety is the most attractive in- stance of that which is moral. Who can look upon the well-executed pictorial representation of this, as seen in paintings and engravings, without admi- ration ? Where does woman look so altogether lovely as when seen lifting the eye of devotion to heaven that eye in which faith, hope, and love, seem all to mingle and express their emotions? The Church of Rome has known the power of this, and has maintained its dominion, in some measure, over its votaries by the power of the painter's art in depicting female beauty associated with female piety. In a religious female, the beauty of heaven and earth combines the graces of the seraph and those of the daughters of Adam are united ; just as in a holy man the sublimer grandeur of mortals and immortals is found associated. Piety, then, is the last and finest polish of female excellence." These two writers fairly represent the views of the entire class of writers upon this subject. There PIETT. 343 is but one sentiment respecting female piety. It wins universal admiration. On the other hand, im- piety in woman is always odious. We can endure levity and worldliness in one of this sex, so long as she does not jest with sacred things: the moment she ridicules religion, or speaks lightly of eternal realities, we are shocked and troubled. A female infidel is rarely met. The few who have lived have been justly spurned out of decent society. Popular / opinion has branded them as a disgrace to their sex ; the verdict of society has consigned them to merited shame. This was true of Mary Wolsten- croft, who labored to release her sex from the claims of religion. As a reward for her unholy zeal, her name became a hissing and by-word in virtuous circles. It was also true of Frances Wright, the highly accomplished daughter of a noble family in Scotland. She came to this country in company with Lafayette, and was received at Washington with demonstrations of profound re- spect. For a time, the public seemed to divide their honors wetl-nigh equally with her and the great statesman of France ; but, when it was dis- covered that her mind was divorced from Chris- tianity, and that she desired to see the social com- pact remodelled - vith laws of less restraint, her fame at once declined, and she speedily passed into unen- viable neglect. Instead of being an example to her 344 XHB GOO1J GIRL AND TKUK WOMAX. sex, she became a warning ; and she finally left the world, in a land of strangers, with no kindred to close her eyes, or drop a tear at her grave. Thus the common verdict of mankind declares in favor of female piety; and the conscience of the reader responds that the verdict is just. Yet many girls are living without even the form of godliness. They would not consent to be called Jnfidels, for that would shock their moral sensi- bilities; and still they are living practically as if piety were no part of life. If they were avowed infidels they would not live with less reference to the God who made them than they do now. They are utterly thoughtless upon the subject, practi- cally denying what they profess, to believe, viz. : that piety is a pearl of great price. It was piety that contributed the chief lustre to Miss Lyon's character. Her other qualities would have been comparatively inefficient without this to control and use them. This conceived the one great purpose of her life, inspired her soul with ex- alted motives, and urged her forward with a self- reliance and zeal almost unparalleled. Seldom has pure and undefiled religion appeared more con- spicuously in a life than it did in hers. Every plan, purpose, desire, and work, was conscientiously sub- jected to its control. It was piety that taught her to live for the good of others. It was piety that PIETT. 345 made her a teacher for life. It was piety that moved her to found the Seminary at South Hadley. It was piety that caused her to labor so assiduously for the salvation of those committed to her care. It was piety that crowned her efforts with such suc- cess in winning souls to Christ. It was piety that filled up her days with usefulness, and made the closing hours of her life radiant with the hope of immortality. We mean b"y this that piety was the secret spring of her noble efforts, the sacred influ- ence that pervaded her thoughts and acts to such a degree that observers ever felt the power of her godliness. Her piety was so prominent, and ex- erted such control over every faculty of her mind, that no one could be long in her presence without noticing it. Without this she would not have been the accomplished and useful Mary Lyon that she was. Religion appears to be peculiarly adapted to the nature and condition of woman. Hence the fact, that more females than males become the followers of Christ. Infidels may ridicule the Gospel on this account, and call it " woman's religion ; " but their dei'ision is really a tribute to Christianity, and an honor to the female sex. That so many of this class have embraced religion is a compliment to their intelligence, wisdom, and moral convictions. It is due to woman more than to man that the 346 THE GOOD GIRL AND TEUE WOMAN. Gospel has been preserved and advanced in the world. She has kept the fire burning upon its altar, when otherwise it would have expired. We are told that the ancient Romans selected six- girls for their beauty, intelligence, and virtue, to serve as priestesses in the temple of Vesta. It was thought that females alone could keep the fire burning day and night upon the altar. So, year after year, they officiated in the temple with fidelity that never wavered. Equally true is it that pious women have served faithfully in the cause of our holy religion, and, in consequence, the morning and evening in- cense has not ceased to ascend to heaven. Girls need piety to enable them to cultivate some of the qualities hitherto discussed ; for some of them are never possessed by the irreligious and worldly- minded. The Christian female has convictions of duty, and exalted aims, which call forth her power, mental and moral, most successfully. Often those of very ordinary intellectual abilities signalize' their lives by doing a great amount of good, simply be- cause piety imparts aim, force, and efficiency to their faculties. This begets a degree of conscien- tiousness, and a desire to be useful, that are nec- essary to a well-lived life. Under its control the several powers of mind are often developed into a harmony and strength of action otherwise im- possible. PIETY. 347 Girls need piety, also, to shield them from moral danger. They are not exposed to gross forms of vice, like boys, who are much abroad in the streets ; yet they are beset with moral perils. We have sen that the world allures them, and that fashion and amusements often render them utterly useless. If piety shielded them with its precepts and its restraining influence, their lives would not be thus thrown away for baubles. They would cherish nobler and purer views of all that pertains to exist- ence. They would shun worldliness and useless- ness as they would more heinous evils. Piety is necessary, too, to prepare girls for the changes of life. Some of the qualities named will contribute largely to this end; but true religion will contribute more. This beholds God in every experience of life, and hence it refers all things to a superintending Providence. It thereby enables the possessor to adapt herself to circumstances, however unpleasant and trying they are. From the petted daughter of a wealthy merchant, she may become the poor, wretched wife of a drunk- ard. From a home of affluence and luxury, she may be removed to one of want and hardship. But religion will solace her heart with the bright hopes and promises of the Gospel. It will give her a spirit to bear her trials heroically, though it will not remove them. The language of her heart will 348 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. be, " Why art thou cast down, O my soul ? and why art thou disquieted within me ? Hope in God : for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God." It was 'this spirit which enabled that devoted missionary in Burmah, Mrs. Comstock, to exclaim, in the severest trial of her life, " Jesus, I do this for thee ! " She had resolved to send her children to America to be edu- cated, and the day of their departure arrived. As she led them down to the ship in which they were to sail, and the trial of that parting hour began to be realized, in unutterable grief, she lifted up her heart in prayer to God for her loved ones, and ex- claimed, " Jesus, I do this for thee ! " More than all, religion prepares the soul for an ex- change of worlds. The reader will pass, sooner or later, into the untried realities of eternity. How beautiful the sight of a youthful female yielding up her soul to God with a sweet trust in the Re- deemer's care and mercy ! There is no more glo- rious close of a young and blooming life. The scene combines the purity of heaven and the beauty of earth. "We might introduce many touch- ing examples of early female piety in the hour of dissolution ; but we shall close this volume with a single one, as related by Rev. J. Angell James : " One morning I paid a pastoral visit to a young lady, a member of my church. On my rising to PIETT. 349 retire, my young friend informed me that she had an invalid sister, whom she expected every moment from her chamber, and who, she said, would be much gratified to see me. I had scarcely resumed my seat, before there entered the room a most lovely and interesting young person, whose fea- tures, naturally extremely pleasing, derived addi- tional beauty from the fatal hectic with which they wore a little flushed, and which had been increased by the exertion of coming down stairs I en- tered into conversation with her on the circum- stances of her affliction, a subject which, though in most cases gloomy and depressing, checked not for a moment the sweet smile which played upon her engaging countenance. She soon informed me that she felt she had the sentence of death in herself, and considered her illness as a voice from the tomb ; and spoke of dying as one that was familiar with the awful topic. ' I have neither love of life,' she said, ' nor fear of death ; and although I am leaving the world when its prospects were become most flattering and alluring, I do not regret it ; I have only one desire, and that is after more communion with God.' The whole strain of her conversation was so calm, so collected, so dignified, evincing such meek submission, such humble piety, such weanedness from the world, and such longing after immortality, that I gazed at her with wonder and 30 ; 350 THE GOOD GIRL AND TRUE WOMAN. delight, and left the house thinking and saying that I had scarcely ever witnessed anything so sera- phic. * * * " At the time of her attack she was engaged in the bonds of plighted love to a gentleman to whom she was to have been married. It is in vain to suppose that she could turn from the altar to the tomb, as an object of contemplation, and from this dearest of all friends to the arrest of the last enemy, without a severe struggle between an earthly and a spiritual affection. The conflict was short, the victory complete ; and it was at once the greatest effort and brightest triumph of her faith, to be made willing to give up even this dear object of her heart, and to depart to be with Christ. In reference to this event, she sometimes said : ' It is mysterious, but I know it is all right. My Heavenly Father knows what is best for me.' " As I did not apprehend from my first visit that her end was near, and as I was much from, home, I did not again see her for some time ; and O, that all my young friends could have seen her as I then saw her lovely in death, like a moss- rose bud nearly severed from its stock, and just ready to fall on the . ground, with its opening beauties possessing still their freshness and their fragrance ! There was not the shadow of a shade of impatience, anxiety, or fear, to becloud her beau- ' PIETT. 351 tiful countenance, to check the smile that irradiated her features, or to dim the ray of hope which glit- tered in her fine, expressive eye, as it turned to that heaven whither her heart had already ascended. I pass over much that was said during that most solemn and delightful interview, to mention one remark : ' Do you now feel any regret,' I said to her, * that you are leaving the world so early, and when its prospects were becoming so attrac- tive ? ' With an ineffable smile, she replied, ' Our great business in this world is to obtain the salva- tion of our souls ; and having secured that, I have accomplished the end of my existence.'' " A tune was fixed for a last sad interview with her once intended husband. In this scene her faith shone forth in all its brightness, and patience had its perfect work. While all around were filled with poignant grief, she was calm, serene, composed. Having affectionately uttered some pious counsels to this friend of her heart, and pointing him to the heaven on the verge of which he saw her, she took her last farewell, and gave her last look with a tranquillity and fortitude that surprised every one, and which proved that she was now enjoying too much of the ' excellent glory ' to suffer intensely from the rending of any earthly ties whatever. She looked up into heaven and saw Jesus waiting to re- ceive her spirit, and felt that she could leave for I > 3o2 THE GOOD GIRL AND TUUE WOMAN. Him even that friend with whom it was once her fondest earthly hope to tread the path of life in company. The scene scarcely ruffled her peace, or drew from her soul one longing, lingering look to earth, for heaven was fully in her view. " ' In the midst of sufferings, too painful to de- scribe,' said her sister, in a note, ' Martha could smile, and tell us Jesus was near her. Her coun- tenance, at all times animated and happy, was unusually so now ; it beamed with ineffable bright- ness, and was a strong and beautiful evidence that all was perfect peace within. When she could no longer articulate, she looked all we could wish her to say. About five minutes before she expired, her agonies ceased, she recognized all of us, and, as though to bid a last farewell, she smiled, and ex- claimed, Happy ! happy ! ' " " Is this Death's seal? The impression, 0, how fair! Look ! what a radiant smile is playing there ! That was the soul's farewell; the sacred dust Awaits the resurrection of the just. We have done ! We recommend to girls the study of the numerous examples of female worth which we have cited, as a means of inspiring the soul with pure and noble aims, that they may live in honor and die in peace. r END . 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