II PRACTICAL LIFE; OR, WAYS AND MEANS FOR DEVELOPING CHARACTER AND RESOURCES. THE INDIVIDUAL CONSIDERED IN REGARD TO DOMESTIC LIFE, COMMON SENSE, PHYSICAL CULTURE, EDUCATION, SOCIAL RELATIONS, TRADES, CLUBS, BUSINESS, BOOKS, DRESS, LOVE, MANNERS, FLIRTATIONS, DIVORCE, MARRIAGE, INFORMATION, LIMITATIONS AND RELIGION. THE WORLD'S WEDDING-DAY. BY * MRS. JULIA McNAIR WRIGHT, ACTHOR OF "THE COUPLETS HOME," "LIGHTS AND SHADOWS OF SACRED 8TOBT," "EARLY (111 Hdl OK BRITAIN," ETC. " 'And ye , ok younger friends, for whom My hearth and heart keep open room, Come smiling through the shadcnvs long : Be with me while the sun goes down. And with your cheerful voices drown The minor of my evensong." WHITTIER. BRADLEY, GAUltETSON & CO., PHILADELPHIA, 66 NORTH FOURTH STREET; BRANTFORD, ONT. WILLIAM GARRETSON & CO., COLUMBUS, O.; CHICAGO, ILLS.; NASHVILLE, TENN.; ST. LOUIS, MO.; SAN FRANCISCO, CAL. TO ALL WHO WOULD BE BREAD-WINNERS AS WELL AS BREAD-EATERS, WHO WOULD LIVE TO SOME PURPOSE, AND HONESTLY DESIRE TO MAKE THE MOST OF THEMSELVES, THIS WOKK IS RESPECTFULLY OFFERED BY Copyright by JULIA McNAm WRIGHT, 1881. TABLE OF CONTENTS. " If one short volume could comprise All that is witty, good, and wise, How would it be esteemed and read ! " CHAPTER FIRST. WISDOM IN CORNER GROCERIES Are there too many children ? Over- population, and over-crowding A remedy for over-crowding population The future world- masters Son Samuel grows up unexpectedly "As many children as we can provide for" How they can provide for themselves What we need at the polls What do parents owe their children ? One master or many Love grows downwards What is natural affection ? Nature an avenger The Alphabet and the Ten Commandments Three points where we fail Undervaluing chil- dren Two hundred dollars earned by children in a summer Robbing chil- dren Sickly mothers Sharing calamities Example Nonage Teaching to reason Forming to sound judgments FUSSINESS Too careful restraint What shall become of our young people ? New trades New homes Their future and their fortunes Supply and demand Responsibility A Bureau of Information 19 CHAPTER SECOND. COMMON-SENSE Its value Its Cultivation What is most needful to success in life? Money? Health? Education? The proper view of money Dangers of wealth The force that directs to proper uses A common thing The old , word Prudence Misers and roues Misers of learning Health abused Men and prize-oxen The true idea of Hercules BEING MISERABLE How to avoid being miserable Three causes of this feeling Physical causes Unhappy cir- cumstances A happy temper of mind Dangers of thinking first of self Sidney Smith's advice Dangers of day-dreaming Alnaschar and the Milk- maid Perseverance Well-directed efforts Definitions of common-sense Dr. Thomas Reid, Sir Wm. Hamilton Cultivation of common-sense In ourselves In children A work for parents Simple lessons Voltaire's opinion Jouffroy on the common-sense of philosophers Pope's commendation of sense Com- (8) 2054883 4 CONTENTS. mon-sense applied to education Doing good Love affairs Dangers of ro- manceWhy romance belongs to youth Value of advice Take good advice cheerfully Submit to authority Folly of insubordination Undervaluing pa- rental advice Fathers and sons : mothers and daughters How to spend youth Study Work, economic Spring and harvest Value of diligence False reasoning We are creatures of the future MONEY is THE OUTCOME OF LABOR Responsibility of knowledge 37 CHAPTER THIRD. PHYSICAL CULTURE A bad physique Prevalence of ill-health Health among students Preachers City people Christianity and good health SALUTLAND The influence of light on health Sunshine a factor in health Artificial light Dr. Richardson's opinion Various kinds of light Their dangers What is best Spend as little time as possible in artificial light Angles of light Top-lights Windows and their curtains Health and fashion Air Airing rooms Use of air Bad air Water Bathing General baths Local baths Carbolic baths- Bathing the head Care of the teeth A good dentifrice Borax What to drjnk Best water Hurtful water Filtered water Boiled water Food Idiosyn- crasies in regard to food How much should we eat ? When ? How often ? What should we eat ? Value of brend Of milk Of fruit Of cereals Danger of eating between meals Of late suppers Of over-eating Nutritive values Digestion Whiskey Its effects on health Tobacco and its dangers Pies, tarts, cakes, candies-^-Sleep Time to sleep Sleep until rested Best time to sleep Napoleon's rule Franklin's Dr. Richardson's 56 CHAPTER FOURTH. PHYSICAL CULTURE CONTINUED Rest Varieties of rest Rest in change of work Play Recreation Vacations Need of rest for students Lawyers, doctors, ministers Relative need of rest Farmers and students Recreation Varieties of When most needed American climate Americans a nervous people Foreign recreations Play for the young Farmers' vacations Clerks City- workers Our duty to them Baron Trenck Exercise Why needed Its ef- fect on blood and muscle Exercise for a shoemaker For a seamstress Amount of exercise varies with individual Out-of-door exercise Over-exercise Farming as a hygienic employment Dress and physical culture Cold and death Exercise for students Manual employments How to walk A proper position Self-consciousness destroys gracefulness 75 CHAPTER FIFTH. LIVING FOR AN OBJECT The beginning of the end Responsibilities of parents- Reason for having an Object in life Remark from the Spectator Drifting The CONTENTS. 5 Marble- workers Worth in humble things A wide range Clarinda'syowrwo/ Occupations of mothers Early choice of a life work Varieties of taste in the young Constitutional differences Folly of pride Despising common talents Variability of children Beware of pursuing a whim Natural defects Demos-, thenes Taste and passion Genius victorious Cromwell The first step Our object must be worth pursuing Consciousness of noble aims The mark of a wise man Knowing our limits Circumstances to be considered Washington Duty of a widow's son Danger of ambition Addison The element of victory Primary need of sound moral nature Building on piles The moral law in the soul Human nature weak Penury and probity A sound body What educa- tion is indispensable Be fit for something Fill your own place King David Aimless efforts Hobby ridert Our powers are limited Michael Angelo Preparing for medical profession Preparing for farm-life Pursuit of virtue Practical study Hope Despair Causes of disappointment Misapprehension of ourselves Misapprehension of life Misapprehension of other people's rights A high ideal Uses of adversity Danger of insufficient preparation for work Shoddy Tyros Hasty choice of work An object in life for girls Knowl- edge of daily duties Elasticity of human capacity Great workers 86 CHAPTER SIXTH. AMUSEMENTS Value of amusements Play belongs to animal life Pleasure Laughter Use of Amusements What is laughter? Hobbes Addison Channing Goodrich The Puritan^ Divisions of amusement Out-of-door recreations In-door recreations Questionable recreations Swimming Where to swim How to learn Helps What to wear What to avoid Boating Value of rowing to girls Sailing a boat Building a boat Navigation Skating Ancient skates In Holland Swift skating Dangers Precautions Six rules Fishing Isaac Walton Mrs. Kemble What to avoid Gunning Destruc- tion of animal life Of birds Shooting at a mark What to know about a gun Danger of ignorance Military drill Manual of arms Benefit to girls Exam- ple Gymnastics Cricket Base-ball Foot-ball Cautions in regard to Ten- pins and bowls for girls Physical helpfulness of croquet Absurd dressing for Archery In-door games Chess Draughts Logomacheie Toys Parlor- magic Parlor games Questionable amusements Social drinking Horace Cards Arguments for Against Gambling A dangerous knowledge Safety Measured by rule A gambling hell Billiards Expense of Temptations Fosters selfishness Dancing What can be said in favor of Contrary considera/- tion Physical effects Moral effects A ball dress Harmless per se But per contra ? A physician's testimony Promiscuous assemblies Vulgarity The the- atre Opinions of actors Moral and physical effects Horseback-riding 105 6 CONTENTS. CHAPTER SEVENTH. SELF-EDUCATION The best time to work Hindrances in the way of obtaining education Encouragement for those who cannot go to school It is possible to educate one's self at home Self-denial Religion The place of the Bible- Avoid over-haste Limits to self-education Pascal Euclid How to get text books Spare time Method in study Careless interruptions Duty of friends Ignorance unpardonable English grammar The study of our own language Varieties in mental taste Thoroughness How to learn a foreign language- Speaking foreign tongues Reading them The literary method Scott Pres- cott Macaulay Foreign tongues without a teacher Books needed Smeaton Elihu Burritt Time needed How to study How to retain a language The Bible a text-book Poetry Securing regularity in home study Value of minutes Study of natural sciences Reasons for this study Kingsley's argument for Danger of ignorance What we need How to pursue this study Books, cab- inets, collections Correspondence Drawing Cash value of Avoid hasty conclusions Religion and culture Early religious training* History Litera- ture What shall we do with education The complainants All can secure education Parents as teachers Evening study 1 23 CHAPTER EIGHTH. EDUCATION IN SCHOOLS The saddler's marriage Going away to school The ad- vantage of going from home to school The age when it is proper to go from home for education What are the best years for study Schools near home How to use them Foreign schools Not suitable for American youths Their dangers How and when to go to a foreign school American schools In art and music Denominational schools Their influence Our public schools Why they should be upheld How to uphold them Exceptions Fashions and follies Ignorance Compulsory education Parental freedom The State a parent Prussian schools A French view England and compulsory education Commercial schools Schools of elocution Lectures To live cheaply in a city Normal schools Their status Advantages Drawbacks Classical schools Collegiate education General education Choice of a school Care to be exercised Dangers What to consider School-books How to secure Board- ing one's self ,52 CHAPTEll'NINTH. EXIGENCIES OF SCHOOL LIFE How to pack a trunk What to take to school- Sickness and health in school How to make camphor cream Dress in school School manners Care of rooms Moral effect of our surroundings We reflect ourselves in our homes We are influenced by our homes A French author's opinion Examples Hanging out a bad sign What is unmanly Know thy- CONTENTS. 1 self Beauty Honesty Order Neatness in rooms A troublesome room-mate How to meet a difficulty A model agreement Employment of time in school Spirit of a school Societies in school Uses of Rivalries Emulation Mixed schools Advantages Needs Effects Friendships of school Yheir value Their duration How to choose a friend Be not hasty What not to choose School flirtations Very common How carried on Awkward results of How they arise What produces them Other people's views General ex- periences Crisis in school life Disorder How to escape trouble Religion in school Basis of law Of culture Need of Bible in schools How to educate an American citizen 163 CHAPTER TENTH. ENTERING SOCIETY Mentioning names Is it better to go into society too little, or too much ? Dangers of seclusion Dangers of dissipation The pains of bashful- ness Young men's disadvantages The mark of a lady The timid man Hands and feet The young orator Self-consciousness Misery of How to be at ease in society Why it is a duty to take part in social life Limitations Doing and overdoing Harmonizing social duties Illusions of childhood Trials about a girl's dress Four rules for good manners The force of habit The mania of isolation Pecuniary burdens in social life American and foreign social life Our extravagance Emulation in dress Over-loading tables Church suppers and socials A simple style of supper Three ladies' dresses Moral courage in society Tyrants of society Physical and moral limits in so- cial life Strange company Adventurers Various ways of entertaining com- pany Men and pigs Sleighing parties How to arrange A skating party Providing for those who do not skate The collation Carving The lady at St. Petersburg Observation A literary party A tableau party The arrangements for How to order Tableaux The music The reading The stage The furni- ture The lighting Calling-off Order Shadow party Subjects How to ex- hibit Singing Curious questions An English dinner party The aim of life Refreshments for tableaux parties Snow cream Maple-sugar parties Affecta- tions Censoriousness The Mat de Cocagne Entertaining in small houses A lack of table furniture Daring to be simple Boat parties Croquet parties Garden parties Garden breakfasts Lawn parties Private picnics Riding par- ties The real object of social life Frankness in meeting our circumstances Hospitality 182 CHAPTER ELEVENTH. THE VALUE OF GENERAL INFORMATION Walking encyclopaedias Undervaluing knowledge Odd ideas of study General information Value of Dust holes and Mrs. Crisparkle's cup-board Mental system Reading an encyclopaedia 8 CONTENTS. How to use Usable information What makes values Hugh Miller's observa- tion on schools and books What will we do with it? Charles Kingsley's re- marks on Straw and Devil's weed William Smith the geologist How to acquire information Observation Encyclopaedias Books Periodicals Ways of reading the paper Why read it? How read it The time thus used Understand your day Six rules for the use of periodicals Read several papers Pursue lines of thought How to read Examples Ordinary help Connect- ing facts The why of things How to skip What to skip Disconnected reading The perspective of events No news in the paper How to remember Discrimination Value of local papers How two men made a fortune Hay and apples Large papers Church papers Literary and scientific journals The ancient alchemists and astrologers The tone of what we read What not to skip Hard to please Various views Solomon's information The object of study Old times and new Bread-getting What the farmer must know What the emigrant must know Powers of memory Example of the bees Ap- plication of knowledge Knowledge in circulation Money kept moving Stag- nant capital 2IO CHAPTER TWELFTH. ON ACQUIRING AND USING A LIBRARY An age of books Burton's complaint Increase of books Why secure a library ? A model library Dora's library How to choose a book Costly bindings Buying a dictionary Cheap editions A poor economy Do not get books in very small type Increase a library slowly Buy the best books Bindings Paper covers Bound and unbound books Foreign books How to buy Don't buy books that bear but one reading Solid values Very old books Buying for use Late editions Changes in science Old geographies Value of a classical dictionary Disgrace of igno- rance School-books Books on language On history What to buy Archae- ology Books on science Fine specimens of English Every library indicates its owner's taste Specimens of bad taste Influence of books Buying books cheap Second-hand book-stores Spring sales Enemies of books How to take care of books How to handle Dust Damp Book-worms Curiosities of To pack books Lending books How ignorant people handle books A student's way with a book Books and umbrellas Vandal visits How to place books on their shelves How to examine a book Teaching children to handle books Meaning of duodecimo, quarto, octavo, etc. Meaning of royal, crown, etc. Binders' marks Varieties of type Relative size of Different names of The two great mistakes The covers of books Fashions in Scrap- books Port-folios Pictures Mounting pictures Books arid pictures as fur- nitureThe using of a library How to talk of what you read Examples of use Other books to buy 22 g CONTENTS. 9 CHAPTER THIRTEENTH. ON FLIRTATIONS AND LOVE-MAKING A iheme for spring Difference between love and flirting Evidences of love Signs of a flirtation Steadfastness and fickleness Flirtations suppose fickleness and selfishness Flirting dangerous Why flirting prevents marriages The nature of flirting The reign of sham Boys and girls playing at love-making Dangers of to girls To boys Flirts seldom marry Why not? Addison's view of levity Ik Marvel on flirts Dif- ference between a flirt and a coquette Scott, in " St. Ronan's Well " Premature using up of emotion Playing at love Playing with powder The young flirt THE OLD FLIRT THE OLD BEAU Portraits Large possibilities, small realities Friends and lovers Early adorations View of love-making Common follies Promiscuous letter-writing Folly of Improper use of letters To open a cor- respondence To decline a correspondence To close a correspondence Letters worth writing Understand the character of your correspondents Soliciting correspondence from entire strangers Danger and indelicacy of this course A young man's view of it A sister entering into this folly Somebody's sister Respect? A letter to a young girl who had written to an unknown person Young ladies will not reply to letters from strangers How young men are in- jured Receiving and giving presents Presents and purchase What one may give What one may not give Art in extorting presents Silly customs Ex- travagance Presents between engaged people Lavish youths and selfish hus- bands Asking attentions Boldness Asking invitations Hints Not ladylike conduct Dashing manners Replying to personals in newspapers Notions of romance Dangerous advertisements Story of a girl who answered a personal "Wanted: a young governess" Prudence and romance Early choice Early love affairs Age for marriage Very early marriage Dangers of A doc- tor's view of Worse for women than for men A terrible picture of Long en- gagements Dangers of How they are apt to eventuate Sketch of Exercise common-sense Lovers outgrow each other Unequal marriages Marriage equality Inequality in age In education In position Difference in religion. . 247 CHAPTER FOURTEENTH. GENERAL PRINCIPLES OF ETIQUETTE Fundamental rules of etiquette Rules that never wear out Some ancient rules The rule of hands off Etiquette of church and public assemblies THE HYMN-BOOK FIEND Addison's little essay on manners in public places rLeaving church The etiquette of the table Neat- ness Eating with a fork Why? Feeding and eating Solomon's hint Eating with one hand Buttering bread at table How to eat fruit Finger- bowls To prepare To use Avoid haste at tabte How to manage the knife and fork The care of the plate The position at table -Natural positions What etiquette is Gourmandizing Picking the teeth Never put your knife 10 CONTENTS. or spoon in the general dish To leave the table Seating at table What to avoid at table Cup and spoon Napkins Rules for the parlor Rudeness- Scuffling Familiarity Country and city manners The moonlight frolic Bad manners in Manners at the seaside Noise at table Rude postures Cutting the nails Whistling Humming Etiquette of introductions Forms of Age Strangers Staring Incivility Stupidity Arrogance Varying forms- Pleasant words Ugly faces Social duties Permission to introduce When and how needed Making calls The time The frequency of returning calls Length of Cards Evening calls Party calls New Year's calls Dress for Time What to offer Wine at To manage hands and feet Do not meddle To enter a parlor for a party How to leave What to say Tact in speech Home the best school of manners Etiquette of conversation Use no slang No imprecations Brevity of speech Expletives Contradiction Inquisitiveness Servility Refusals Small talk Ignorance Indifference A mental yawn Pride Forms of address Titles First names Nicknames Shaking hands Etiquette of bows Addressing children Kissing Conform to reasonable customs Calls in the country Etiquette of shopping Charity The reproof courteous 271 CHAPTER FIFTEENTH. ON PROPRIETY AND ELEGANCE IN DRESS Nature and colors Hues in flowers Errors of taste in dress A quaint error A portrait Shockingly bad taste in dress A model dress Five principal rules for dress Fripperies in dress Addison on The three unities of dress How to buy Taste in hats How to buy a bonnet Common-sense reasoning What dresses are most useful How to vary them Street dress The right dress for the occasion How to dress the hair Spectator on Outrageous styles The Greek knot Colors What to wear What colors go together Size in colors Colors for various seasons Plaids Stripes Checks Nature' sseason shades Taine on Saxon taste Acritic on dress Good taste in Bad taste in Dresses of many lands Spanish dress A Genoese dress Full and narrow draperies Sense in dress Dress for picnics For riding parties Riding habit Travelling dress Gentlemen's dress Their hats Linen Kerchiefs Ties Gloves Boots Colors in gentlemen's dress Ladies' views of To clean clothes Kinds of brushes Putting away clothes Folding Buying gentlemen's clothes Made to order Fancy goods Slovens and dandies Dress and morals Dress and manners Boys' dress Manly dress Dangers of shabbiness Fighting How to train boys Jewelry The watch Jewelry in the street Rings Over-coats Dusters Hats Business suits- Dress suits What to buy To wear Gunning and yachting dress Pantaloons How gentlemen can economize Articles for toilette Borax Ammonia Car- bolic acid Lime-water How to prepare When to use Hair dyes and tonics Lotions for skin Powder and paint Unpl easing odors To remove Com- plexion Flannels Recipes Bad breath How to cure 297 CONTENTS. 11 CHAPTER SIXTEENTH. AVENUES OPENING ON LIFE The saddler's fate Twins Advantages of twins A Pessemist Mallhus doctrines How met What people succeed Ambition Right ambition Natural cares of parents The lesson of past generations Six months of famine In enough is safety God a wise householder Three points The individual The object of pursuit The pursuit of the object The ma- terial we work on Relative values of materials Labor improves material Labor and profit Right uses Self-knowledge Carlyle's view of Self-exam- ination Socrates on the real lie Measures Search into moral qualities Ac cepting offices of trust Agrippmus' wish High possibilities Measuring the worth of thin'gs Fair standards The farmer and the lawyer Which is most needed The place of agriculture The origin of law Work worth living for French Job's idea Tennyson's Farmer's verdict Needs of the world Wine and water To-day the pupil of yesterday Folly of human pride Atten- tion should be turned to manual occupations Captiousness in seeking work Agriculture Its varieties Possibilities Real benefactors of an age The pioneer Pilgrim fathers Points primary to success Zeal A colored man's text Economy Pedigree and posterity of an empty purse Steadfastness Three fundamental moral forces To be cultivated in families Dangers of wealth To young men To girls Parents are too eager for wealth Miss Kill- mansegg Plato on the just man's lot A picture from the Spectator A hopeful father 325 CHAPTER SEVENTEENTH. ESPECIAL EMPLOYMENTS FOR WOMEN Housekeeping Requisites of a good house- keeper A glimpse of her work Can all women be housekeepers ? Unpaid housekeeping Unjust treatment Proper monetary relations of the household Housework out of fashion The American servant Her disadvantages Her place in a country family Impertinence Disadvantages of clerk-girls Sewing as a woman's work How much sewing is done How it is paid Disadvan- tages of seamstress work How to improve it Nursing Ignorant nurses Nursing as a profession Natural qualifications Age Where to begin her edu- cation Acquired knowledge To qualify one's self as a first class nurse Ad- vice to a lady Duty of nurse Contagious diseases Care in Airing houses in Authority of nurse Domestic quarantine Teaching Demand and supply Qualifications Difficulties Preposterous demands Unfit teachers The real teacher Need of study Teaching the Alphabet Round off the pegs Mission- ary work Requisites for How to enter on Value of A proverb Agriculture for women Women as florists An example Women as gardeners Results of The earth Gold The story of a Scotch cousin A farmer's daughters Helping fathers Clerking Book-keeping Office work Scruples of parents A false 52 CONTENTS. scheme American bondage The emancipation of women The bondage of their own ideas Shame of self-support Ignorance and knowledge The dairy Value of dairy- work To increase Butter-making Poultry-raising A French countess Poultry values Profits Bee-keeping Interests of Returns of Business capacities of women Store-keeping Reason of failures Invent- ing new trades Button and pattern-making A woman's enterprise Enterpris- ing girls Sister's experiment Ministers' girls Restrictions Schools for nurses Objections to women's work Thoroughness Fixedness of purpose No make-shifts How long The demand Right 344 CHAPTER EIGHTEENTH. PURSUITS OPEN TO MEN AND WOMEN Joint pursuits Why men and women inter- change work Rules with many exceptions Three opinions of agriculture Three rules for business Why a handicraft Two strings to a bow Begin near the ground Fair dealing Fools Fruit-culture Clerking Dangers Rewards Needs of printing Proof-reading Fitness for Leisure Thorough- ness Editing Reporting Don't venture to the city on uncertainties Literature ^Authorship Prices made in Fair statements How to pursue Lincoln and his studies Relying on tales The province of a tale Twenty years' work on books Sacrifices demanded Art Illustrating Twain Nast Caricature Genius How to study art Art-life abroad American schools Creative power Study of music Of medicine Ways Aids Importance of The physician's calling Women as physicians Historic Italian women Navigation Three wonderful feats Elocution Book-keeping Stenography Family book-keep- ingHome accounts Telegraphy How to learn Requisites for A queer message Ten rules for success in life 377 CHAPTER NINETEENTH. ESPECIAL PURSUITS OF YOUNG MEN Value of a collegiate education to lawyers- How to become a lawyer Rewards of law Eloquence Rules for public speaking Luther's rules What education is demanded for a minister Why ministers should be educated Their needs Course of study Demands on a minister Choice of professions Little Davids Care of health Authors and critics West Point How to get into What to take What is demanded How they live and study at West Point Value of economy to youth Dangers of full purses The Naval Academy Its examinations Pay Discipline Expenses- Physical, moral, literary requirements Naval engineers' school How to become a naval engineer Examinations Kind of questions asked Expense of enter- ing Pay Marine school School ships To enter boys in navy Requirements Education Pay Treatment Signal service How to enter Requisites for Pay Duties Advantages Disadvantages Pilots Boats Apprenti, CONTENTS. 13 Wages Life-saving service To enter Pay Duties Requirements for Ship yards First year's wages Time spent as apprentice Carriage building Ma- chine shops Hindrances to boys seeking a handicraft The reason and reign of Shoddy What the State will be forced to do Industrial schools Offices Changes Dangers Wire-pulling Reason of so much malfeasance in office Quadrennial convulsions Premiums put on dishonesty Time needed to learn any business How long can I work Force of brain Brain vigor Old age The works of old age Wonderful examples 401 CHAPTER TWENTIETH. OF NOTES, INTRODUCTIONS, LETTERS, BUSINESS NOTICES, FORMS, ETC. These things look easy when well done But cannot be properly done without study Plain rules A careless correspondent What is good penmanship Comprehen- sive rules to obtain it What is needed for fair writing Colored inks Fancy papers Fashions in script To avoid An editor's attack on poor penmen On folding, sealing, addressing a letter What shall teach us to compose fairly ^An absurd notice A curious invitation Elaborate errors A due bill A note Invitation to a party A less formal Acceptance of each Declining each Gentleman offers escort Acceptance Declining What ladies mu?,t avoid Wedding invitations Letter Writers Use and no use Model of a foolish letter Slang Set phrases Letters of condolence Of congratulation Etiquette of Tennyson's idea of Example of each Letters of introduction How and why Rules for Manner of address Examples of A full introduction A guarded one Letter asking favor Recommendations Samples of Rules of Form of address Recommendation of servants Declining to give Un- favorable replies to inquiries Application for employment For a teacher's place For a book-keeper's position For a farm Haste Care Thoroughness Examples of remarkably quick work Explanation of Examples of Scott Burns Byron -Johnson The only price of excellence 422 CHAPTER TWENTY-FIRST. GENERAL RULES OF SOCIETIES AND CLUBS What does club mean 1 An English club Its defects Club-life Kinds of English clubs Dangerous clubs Clubs suppressed by Parliament Tom Hood on clubs Ladies' view of Most popular age of clubs English manners in public meetings English ladies in public meetings An incident American ladies in public meetings Failings Achieve- ments Literary clubs Lyceums A village lyceum and its influence How to organize a call Form of call Another form Opening a meeting Organizing a meeting Motions Form of Appointment and conduct of committees Dis- cussions according to parliamentary rule The duty of a secretary The motion to adjourn Preservation of order Rights and duties of the chairman "Nam- ing" A text-book of parliamentary law The committee 01 the whole Ap- 14 CONTEXTS. peal from the chair A quorum How to suppress a motion Form of cun^iiu- tinn for a literary society The preamble The constitution Rules of debate Order of exercises Of resolutions Kinds of Form of Petitions Form Signing Power of Remonstrances Public opinion 44 CHAPTER TWENTY-SECOND. OF DIVORCE AND HASTY MARRIAGE The Butter-buyer on a divorce suit His ad- vice to his son His opinion of divorce A very important theme Sir James Mackintosh on marriage Calvus, a Roman poet, on marriage Story on mar- riage and civil life The three great ends of marriage Lawful and legal When is divorce lawful Three causes admitted by all States Adultery and divorce Intemperance and divorce Cruelty A judge on a woman's duty Danger of intemperance in married people Hereditary evils Divorce and sep- aration Why alimony Why separation is preferable Injustice to individuals The good of the whole is to be considered We cannot individualize first The need of maintaining marriage law Condemning the innocent Folly and crime '-The judgment upon folly Reckless girls Statistics of divorce The contagious nature of vice Crime as an epidemic Sin Influence of French revolution and of French infidelity on the marriage bond Causes for divorce in various States The East and the West Their relations Easy obtaining of divorces Value of union Arguments for divorce Influence of divorce on crime Increase of crime Startling facts Dr. Woolsey on ancient Rome Hor- ace Ode on Roman impurity Why divorce increases Prudery and purity Seventh commandment tabooed Jonathan Edwards on Views of Dr. Dwight Duty of parents Safeguards for purity Scriptural rule for Vile literature Legal view of The apprehension of family status Lack of a needful literature Queen Victoria on divorces Her attitude to Vindicated Why The influence of Mormonism The negro voters Duty of the State to both Two pivotal words Business Home Milton Hasty marriages Reason of Secret mar- riagesTheir danger Carelessness of mothers Misapprehensions of The dan- gerous age Errors in training girls Sins toward children A false tone given A lawyer's verdict Worldliness Over-dress Too early in society Misappre- hensions Passion travestied Model loves 451 CHAPTER TWENTY-THIRD. THINGS Nor TO BE DONE The prohibitory laws of life Easy to wreck one's self -^Swift's tale of a tub As to travelling When it is well to travel How to travel inexpensively Going abroad as tutors or governesses What to avoid Dangers of Cheap tours How made Bayard Taylor Norman McLeod Care in making acquaintances in travelling Avoid bad manners in travelling- Grant and his new friend The " shall nots " of money Chronic bankruptcy- Losing money Wasting it Of business liable in business Of being duped CONTENTS. 15 Commercial integrity Business orthodoxy Ignorance of business Dishonesty Duty of preachers Two practical tests Selecting partners in business Spec- ulation What it is Its limits Its dangers Its crimes South Sea Bubble Enterprise vs. Speculation American proneness to speculation French thrift Its virtues Its dangers Absorption in little things Misers and business men Why are we a nation of speculators ? Defects in American education The culti- vation of ambition Our national character School pabulum False views Emotional education Duty vs. Love Lack of self-control Cultivation of judg- ment Somebody and nobody Models set Parents' ambitions To counteract false ideas The "shalt nots" of amusements Rolicking fun Gambling Losses of False names Idleness Evil habits Carrying arms Rudeness Temptations Cost of a young man or woman Example in dollars and cents Value of a character Of eighteen years Of a soul 465 CHAPTER TWENTY-FOURTH. THE WORLD'S WEDDING-DAY Shall we discuss marriages ? Modern wedding cus- toms How governed The marriage customs of all ages and nations A curious and interesting theme How civilization alters wedding customs Mar- riage among barbarians Gradual refinements of marriage ceremonies Marriage of George Third Certain objects belonging to marriage Emblems in marriage The ring Did the Hebrews use the ring? The ring among the Romans Its typology Of what the ring was made Greek church ring Talmudic The ring in Ireland Among mediaeval Jews Orkneys Ring rejected Enjoined Italian idea Queer rings Ring mottoes Mary Tudor's ring Mary Stuart's rings Flowers Why used How used Maids and widows Crowns in Greek church Wedding wreaths in the North lands Explanation of a Scripture text Proposals in Genoa Nuptial girdles of flowers Boeotia Omen of pur- chased flowers Modern flower offerings Old English wedding posie The rosemary and its associations When orange flowers came in Henry Seventh's wedding flower The white lilac The veil What it means Customs Varie- ties in length In color Bridegroom's veil The veil of Rebecca Egyptian veil Chinese veil The wedding of Victoria A generous act Truly royal Fruits associated with marriage Pomegranates Marriage of Plato The quince Betel nut Rice Wheat Tea Perfumes Use of Anointing church doors Church-porch bridals Examples of Laws of Proxy marriage Why How Examples of Most remarkable Morganatic marriage What it is Examples of Wines Use at weddings Symbolism Old English use Knitting cup Glass Broken glass Hebrew custom Prussian custom The marriage look- ing-glass Omen glass in Russian marriage Shoes What they mean Scriptu- ral usages Boaz Gregory of Tours German customs Eastern shoe symbols The shoes of a Roman bride Ceylon shoes A text made clear World-wid 16 CONTENTS. acceptance of shoe symbol Wedding in Peru A German fashion Liburnians and shoes Waldemar's marriage offer Shoe-throwing Why Wedding gifts- Why made How made Among Jews In China Ceylon Java In Poland Pay weddings Penny weddings Bidding weddings Customs of Pepys Servants' portions, Moorish customs Assyrian wedding gifts Swedish A degenerated custom Money at bridals Coins in betrothals Sixpence Ninepence Crooked money Albanian dowries Marriage in Egypt French laws of marriage money English laws Marriage months Superstitions belonging to Classic views Dangerous months May January February- June Sicily Days for weddings In Scotland Friday luck What days the Romans forbid Jewish days An old rhyme A mediaeval proverb Sunday marriages Rainy days Hours Goa England Music at bridals Use- References to Wedding ceremonies Variety in The most simple The most elaborate Hindoo forms How to divide marriage ceremonies Bride capture How and why used Where Instances of Belongs to what tribes Classic facts Curious ceremonies of bride capture Irish.weddings German Elope- ments Civil ceremonies Law concerning Roman church Marriage in France Marriage conflict in Italy Early Christian marriage Hebrew, Greek and Roman ceremonies Other customs Egyptian marriage Mortgage in mar- riageForbidden marriages Taxed marriages Dangers of Political economy of Contrary customs Marriage and health Marriage and prosperity Marriage and morals Monogamy Polygamy To whom do children belong? Laws concerning The natural consciousness The divine idea 482 CHAPTER TWENTY-FIFTH. PRACTICAL RELIGION Religious exercises at colleges Rules regarding religious practices Is religion an entirely private concern? Religious interference Early Christian training Duty of parents Common-sense dictates attention to spiritual concerns The finite and the infinite Highest interests Piety as a foundation for character The source of law Difference between authority and despotism Literary institutions without a religious basis Ashamed of religious- ness Is it freedom or bondage? Where young men get atheistic notions In leading strings Assumptions of infidel leaders Their arrogance They destroy manly and independent thought Blind followers of blind guides Ignorance attacking Marks of infidel teachers Their methods Contradictions Differ- ence between contradiction and logic Sarcasm Its value Bitterness As an indicator Unfair method Assumptions What lies at the root of all this attack Innate ideas An infidel silenced The argument of history The nations which forgot God Men who defied God Early religious training and independent thinking Facts Original thinkers Mental effects of Biblical studies Suggestions of future mental development Mysteries of faith Mysteries CONTENTS. 11 of science Concealed laws The dark made light Scientific contradictions Things not really contradictions The enlightening power of faith Faith and light Piety a prime concern of life Vital piety Permeating life Church membership Why Plato on the approach of death Manliness in religion Practical piety Real knight-errantry Piety as ground work of morals Epic- tetus' prayer Religious quackery Christian faith Practical religion What it is Its opponents Their answers 510 CONTENTS OF BUREAU MISCELLANY. The duty of parents to provide amusements for their young people Physical and moral advantages of recreation Home recreations Reading aloud List of books and articles suitable for reading aloud Dramatic readings List of dramas suitable Comedies Comedies for home acting Comedies of three and four characters Parlor theatricals Capping verses Examples of How the Cam- bridge and Oxford students cap classic verses Examples of Latin capping An- other classical entertainment Sortes Virgilianae Examples of TheVirgilian fates Fates from Longfellow, Tennyson, or Shakespeare Charades Words for charade acting Pun charades Ten examples of Acting proverbs Examples of Tableaux Ten tableaux described Burlesque classic drama Games La defiance Shadow buff Porco buff Wand-man's buff Eye buff What will he do with it Paul Pry and Mrs. Grundy Madame Rumor Alphabetical invest- ments The poetaster's game The new novelists The ladies' maid The auc- tioneer Crossed and not crossed The mole Fox and geese Jack straws CURIOUS QUESTIONS Twelve curious questions Games of diagrams The gnome Handkerchief games Parlor magic To balance a coin To bottle an egg To eat a candle The flying stick To balance an egg To lift a bottle with a straw The dancing dervishes Three kinds of dervishes The stubborn card Water witchery The whirlpool The magic egg Parlor paradoxes Five examples of Useful games The spice mill The little cooks' game The Queen's birthday SABBATH INTERESTS Sabbath must be made agreeable to children How they shall neither hate nor break Sunday What every family should have Story-telling The Noah's ark The game of Scriptural numbers The game of ten Scripture questions The caravan into Egypt Capping texts Twelve caps on Come Twelve caps on Lo Capping hymns Examples of Enigmas of Scripture Examples of Church 18 CONTENTS. biography Church history Sabbath reading The use of little things Liveli ness at home Puns Riddles Conundrums Thirty good conundrums Games of mesmerism The trance reader The trance guesser The trance diviner The growing medium The dwarfed medium The mesmerized musi- cians The mesmeric speller Practicalities A few ordinary business forms Seventeen legal and business rules To make out a bill To receipt a bill Bill for rent Receipt for a note For money on contract For wages For schooling Money orders For produce Order for goods Form of bill Bill of goods N. B. Certain clerkships Patent-office positions The Treasury department Physical demands Revenue marine Regulations for admission Scope of examinations Department of Interior Applications Signatures- Examinations Special instructions Some curious manufactures The crab lady The peanut owl The lemon pig Delicious dollies Answers to curious ques- tions To diagrams Answers to paradoxes Answers to conund.rums Explana- tion of games of mesmerism The language of flowers A table of the relative values of various kinds of foods 529 INDEX .. &>i PRACTICAL LIFE. CHAPTER FIRST. HEIRS AND THEIR INHERITANCE, HILOSOPHY, wandering on weary wing through many ages and countries, makes her Nineteenth Century resort in A Village Store. Nowhere else are so many, and so high themes, so boldly discussed. The assembled sages bravely march their forces up to all re- doubts of science and ethics, and seldom march them down again, without leaving a banner planted, or carrying off some captured flag. Beholding them in high consultation, sitting on counters, kegs and barrels, or piled-up firkins and boxes, we might think at first the mighty fallen, since wisdom here takes her stand, when once she sat with the gods on Ida, with Socrates in the porches of the Academy, with Roger Bacon in his cell, with Galileo on the hill of Arcetri. But, in fact, this picture represents wisdom in her best estate, as thriving among the masses, not with one individual for her high-priest, but every man for her votary. In these juntos of the country-store, speaks out the mind of the people, the sagacity of heads of families. You have this new school of philosophy in its finest development, when you find your country-store planted where four ways meet, near some thriving village, and enter there when the evening mail is just distributed. To such a modern Mars Hill came one autumn evening an elderly (19) 20 PRACTICAL LIFE. STRANGER; we will not awaken prejudices by telling what states- men and scholars he resembled, in brow, eye, lip, gait; but he went gravely up to the counter, and addressed himself to the pro- prietor of the place : " Have you any " began the Stranger slowly. The urbane shop-keeper cast his eye along his shelves and drawers, mentally supplying " muslin, pins, buttons, hose, thread." " Have you, that is plenty of" began the Stranger again. The store-keeper privately suggested, "flour, soap, bacon, dried apples," his glance running over boxes, kegs, barrels. " I mean to ask," said the Stranger, successfully reconstructing " have you in this neighborhood, plenty of children." The merchant's jaw fell : children there were by the score, even in that grocery at that moment, from the morsel of humanity, whose nose barely reached to the counter, to overgrown thirteen, his ankles and wrists victorious over a season-old suit. The long-legged and long-armed clerk, who was a bit of a wag, leaned across the counter, swept a half-dozen of these specimens together, and said briefly " Sample 'em !" "Children!" cried the saddle and harness maker, a misanthrope, uneasily seated on a keg of nails. " Let me tell you, there's not only plenty, but too many. The world's got more than it can bear of population. I want, you to turn a look on India, Syria, China, and Ireland, where thousands die of starvation where the earth cannot maintain the people where famines are periodic, and for which the whole civilized world must be taxed in a futile effort to fill mouths that should never have existed." " You state certain facts of famines and short harvests, but the cause you assign is the wrong one," said the Stranger. " Trouble is, not that there are too many people in the earth, but in these unfortunate lands, the need is instant for righteous, paternal govern- ments, careful to secure the best good of the citizens ; and also for education among the people themselves, so that each man shall be worth more individually, knowing how to gain, save and spend; to HEIRS AND THEIR INHERITANCE. 21 secure himself, and not to encroach on his neighbor. In lands where the ALPHABET and the TEN COMMANDMENTS are every man's inheri- tance, from king to cotter, there are no famines'' " I can tell you what, friend," said a stout butter-buyer who had come in for his mail, " I've been to New York, and Philadelphia, and Baltimore, and Cincinnati, and Boston, and Chicago, and most of our other big cities, and I remarked a leetle more of hungry and half-naked women and children, and idle, ragged men, and beggarly, over-crowded living places, than / like to see." " That is too true," said the Stranger, " but still you do not touch the cause of trouble. I claim that the world is not, nor is likely to be, over-populated. Cities and even countries there are over- crowded. The remedy is, emigration. Immense tracts of land, rich in soil, and in all mineral and vegetable productions, wait for inhabitants." "Come, sir," said the schoolmaster, from his seat on the end of a counter, " I take issue with you there ; I do not say a word against the surplus population of our cities being deported to our vacant lands. I wish there were some reasonable way of getting them there, with any prospect of their securing a shelter for their heads, and food to eat though how that is to be accomplished, where there are neither tools, cash nor common-sense, I cannot tell. But 1 should deprecate having this land made the sewer and drain of Europe and Asia. I tell you now, we American-born people are being fairly swamped at the polls and elsewhere by a horde of foreign-born, or foreign-begot, fellow-citizens, who know little of our history, prin- ciples or institutions : who cannot read their ballot. But if I should lift a cry, 'America for Americans,' I should at once be accused of being out of harmony with American ideas, and our Constitution!" " My dear sir," said the Stranger graciously, " you open a variety of deep and important questions, on which I shall hereafter be happy to converse with you. But this evening we cannot try all issues. Your reply brings me back to the query with which I started : 'Are there many, enough, American-born children in this neighborhood?' 22 PRACTICAL LIFE. This, I fancy, might be taken as a fair specimen of a neighborhood : a fertile farm district ; a thriving village ; a large town adjacent ; a city a few hours' distant by rail. Soil, water, climate desirable; such a portion of country might answer for the whole continent. Now, what is the number of children growing up here to fill and multiply the places of their parents?" "As for that," said the store-keeper, in an aggrieved tone, " look at 'em ! The store is full every night at mail time ! Here they are, often thirty boys and girls, all besieging me : ' Is there a letter for me ? ' as if / had nothing to do but write 'em valentines ! And I've noticed, too, that urchins who never get a letter, bawl just as loud after the mail as men like the doctor, or tavern-keeper, or minister, who carry off about all that comes here. Boys! do go out! The mail is all distributed ! " " It is coming events casting their shadows before," said the long clerk, as the noisy juniors trooped off. " Don't be so cross, uncle. Hope foretells to these little rascals that they are some time to have letters. They are our future lawyers, doctors, parsons, merchants, politicians." " Young man," said the Stranger, " it would do me good to shake hands with you." "All the same," said the merchant, while this little ceremony was being performed, "the boys drive me wild, and prevent my join- ing in reasonable talk. You, sir, have suggested a discussion of such themes as Compulsory Education, a Limited Franchise, Emi- gration, a Provision for the Masses. If ever I were free of these boys for five minutes, I should like to talk over these matters, for I have my opinions." "And very good opinions, too," said the mournful man of saddles and harness. " Ought to be : he cultivates his mind : he has the first reading of all the papers that come to the office." There was a general laugh at the joke, though it was an old one, and one against which the merchant-postmaster had often protested, vigorously affirming that he only read papers that were not in wrap- pers, and were left lying uncalled for. HEIRS AND THEIR INHERITANCE. 23 But the laugh had scarcely calmed, when a voice said : "And lately his mind improves faster, as he has the reading of all the postal-cards." Amid the chorus of guffaws, it was perceived that this speaker was Deacon Jones' son Samuel, who, after peacefully abiding for eighteen years under the shadows of the parental judgment, and the parental wit, had surprisingly asserted himself, and ventured a remark and a joke of his own. No one was more astounded than the deacon. He turned and looked upon his offspring. What ! Had Samuel grown up unawares ? Was he a man among men ? The confounded sire realized all at once that the " little boy" wore a tail- coat, and stood as many feet and inches as he himself. The de'acon sat on a soap-box, and contemplated the blushing Samuel ; a solemn vista of circumstances opened in long perspective behind Samuel. Samuel had grown up ; he had made his own independent remark. Samuel would soon want his own horse and buggy, his individual pocket-book ; then Samuel would demand his own farm, and his own house built thereon ; and then his wife, of his own choosing, and then the train of little Samuels and Sallies and the deacon took a long breath, and his eyes grew dim ; and then he remembered that Samuel had a goodly following of brothers, and a sprinkling of sisters among them, and all these would want what Samuel wanted, and would grow up and assert themselves as Samuel had. Moved by these considerations, he said : " Stranger, it is my opinion, regard- ing children, that we've all got about as many as we can provide for." "Why again," said the Stranger, "you seem, sir, like your neigh- bors ; you state facts briskly enough, but you do not reason justly upon them. Difficulty, my good sir, is not the number of the chil- dren, but the style of training them ; not how we shall provide for them, but the making them amply able to provide for themselves. The schoolmaster, with much eloquence, discourses of the dangers of foreign emigration ; and says that we are swamped at the polls by an inharmonious element in our commonwealth. These two dangers 24 PRACTICAL LIFE. have the same remedy awaiting them. An army of American youth, well trained at home and at school, will stand in supreme majesty at ' Empire's primal spring ' the ballot-box and will leaven and con- trol, and mould to highest use, the countless immigrant masses ; so that the first generation after our foreign-born citizens shall be Americanized and assimilated, our new States shall not be foreign anarchies in embryo, but each one an integral part of the national whole. There is nothing, my good friends, I assure you, so impor- tant, and so intensely interesting to us, as individuals, heads of families, or communities, as the proper training and developing of our Young People." " We generally," said the saddle-maker tartly, " value things in proportion to their scarcity, and I think if young people were a little scarcer than now, we should be likely to set more by them." " It all depends on the training," said the Stranger : " if they are well trained, there can never be too many of them. I grant you, there are even now too many bread-eaters, if they are not to be brought up to be bread-winners" " They cannot bring themselves up," said the storekeeper, " so the first thing to be considered is, to get the parents, guardians arid teachers set right." " Exactly," said the Stranger. " Now I advance to you a propo- sition that is : That there cannot be too many Young People in this Country ; and I would like to discuss with you, how these Young People can be made most excellent in themselves, and most helpful and beneficial to the entire commonwealth." "As I look at it," said the schoolmaster, " the first question to be considered is, What Parents owe to their Children in a proper training." The store-door opened and the doctor, the minister, and the hotel- keeper came in. The lads who had gone to their homes to report on the mail had asserted that " a strange man was doing some tall talking at the Corner Store," and intent, like the ancient Athenians, on the new, the Village Worthies had hastened to hear what themes the Stranger was discussing. HEIRS AND THEIR INHERITANCE. 25 " I've heard," said the hotel-keeper, " a great deal about the duties of children to their parents, but not much, as I know of, about the duties of parents to their children, nor about children's rights." "The child," said the lawyer, looking around for a chair, "is an individual, and has rights. It is not responsible for its being in the world, and a great deal certainly rests upon those who brought it here." " O, I don't object to the theme," said the landlord; "very likely it will be a good plan to put the shoe on the other foot for a while." "I'm not much on theory," said the butter-buyer, "but moving around the country, I've seen a deal of practice ; and I've found a great many parents who only feel that they owe their children food and clothes, and let them alone to bring themselves up. In plenty of homes, instead of a lawful head, there are just as many rulers as there are children, and the youngsters boss the whole concern." "And that really arises from selfishness and indolence on the parents' part," said the lawyer. " They prefer to get along as easily as they can in the present, and do not realize that they are in charge of embryo men and women, of citizens, of future parents. We culti- vate an apple tree with a view to what it will be ; a horse or ox for its evident future uses, but regard a child, too often, as a being solely of the present." " But see here," said the saddler : " the tree won't fly in your face; the ox will love its master ; they do as well as you expect. But the child does not give its parent measure for measure, and it grows up and forms new ties." The deacon looked at Samuel and sighed. " In the first place," said the Stranger, " let us remember that it is Nature's law that love grows not up but down. As Addison says in the Spectator, ' Natural love, even in reasonable creatures, does not rise in any proportion as it spreads itself downward : for in all family affection we find protection granted, and favors bestowed, are greater motives to love and tenderness than safety, benefits, or life received.' " 26 PRACTICAL LIFE. " What is this natural affection in all living things? " said the store- keeper. " It is a direct impression from the First Cause, and Divine energy acting in the creature," said the minister : " therefore its course is rather down than up, as He loves us earlier and more than we love Him. And we should learn from this view also, that the office of love is to improve its object, and secure its highest and most lasting good. This should be the object of the parent in training the child." " I think," said the Stranger, " that if parents would begin by real- izing that the balance of love is, and must be, on their own side, and that selfishness is the sin of youth, ever more or less exhibited, that they would fulfil their parental work, always with less amaze- ment and discouragement. Also, they would direct their primary efforts to reducing, or eradicating, this sin of selfishness, and that they would impress on the young that Nature's law here is one of reprisals the repayment is in kind. Not without reason did Louis the Eleventh of France barricade himself in the Castle of Plessis, in fear of his own son, when he remembered that he himself had been an insurgent, arrayed in arms against his own father. The rebellious child invariably becomes the miserable parent." " You seem," said the schoolmaster, " to arrive at this as soon as people are parents, they are responsible not merely for making the child a comfortable animal, but for training it toward maturity and citizenship. To be, in fact, the best that it can, as an individual and a citizen. Now what is the foundation of that edu- cation ? " " The Alphabet and the Ten Commandments," said the Stranger promptly. " The Moral law is the basis of all law ; if you can train a child to regard this law, he will be an orderly citizen, a good neighbor; if you give him the key to all intelligence, in the Alphabet, he will know how to make his own way in the world, secure a living, and be an important factor in National prosperity." " It looks simple and easy," said the butter-buyer, "but there must HEIRS AND THEIR INHERITANCE. 27 be something hard in it, after all or, why do so many fail to bring up children for any satisfaction to themselves and others ? " " Let me tell you," said the lawyer, " for I have been thinking on this theme. The reasons of failure are, First : that we undervalue the children themselves. Second : that we rob them of their rights. Third : that we fail to set a suitable example." " Yes," said the minister, " you are right in your first point. We do undervalue the young people, the little people, not only as regards what they will be in the future, but as regards what they are in the present. It is an old story that of Arnold's unhatting to his pupils, for the sake of what they might be. The long line of statesmen and heroes, saints and scholars, have bellowed lustily in somebody's cradle, torn their pinafores, been pleased with a rattle, and failed to get their lessons. But we undervalue the Young most as regards their present usefulness and capacity, and so do not encourage them to exertion. We conclude that ' they cannot do anything/ or, ' their help is worth so little.' I have just read a letter from a friend who has failed, and is struggling to recover himself. He says: 'The children are nobly helping us to pay for the new farm. I don't know what we should do without children to help us.' And here is a little fact that lately came to my knowledge. Five children in Col- orado wanted to buy an organ. The youngsters were from six to fifteen years old. They had earned, by the care of the fowls on the farm, three dozen chickens. Their father let them have one acre of ground, and they were to work it in their spare time. They raised three tons of onions, and sold them for one hundred and forty-five dollars : the fowls brought them fifty-five dollars. Their organ cost them one hundred and eighteen dollars. Now that shows the present value of well-directed, and properly encouraged, children's work. Give them a motive, give them example : show them how : make it cheerful for them to work, and they will not only be impor- tant elements in the family, in the way of helpfulness, but they will have learned how to take care of themselves, and industry will have secured good morals." 28 PRACTICAL LIFE. " But I don't understand the Squire's second point," said the land- lord. " How do we rob our children?" "A very common robbery is to deprive them of their share of family interest. We shut them out of the knowledge of family concerns. A man loses a sum. of money perhaps, like an idiot, he keeps the loss entirely to himself he loses the sympathy and aid of his best friends : his family. He is as badly off as an old bachelor ! But suppose he tells his wife? If he does, he carefully sends his children out of hearing. He thus robs them of a part of the providential training that God meant for the whole household. He robs them of a lesson in prudence ; he robs them of the profit, that as business men hereafter, they may gain from his known experience ; he robs them of the enlarging of their hearts by sympathy, of a shaking out of selfishness, of a broad- ening of their ideas, beyond tops and dolls, into the world of mature work. People often rob their children by sending them out of the way when danger or sickness arise : they say they hate to have the child worried ; but perhaps the Lord meant them to have this very worry, to save them from some greater evil by-and-by. The child removed from what the parents think might be a gloomy atmos- phere, is robbed of a chance to get presence of mind, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, self-sacrifice. A sister of my wife is a very delicate person : she needs rest ; she should be waited on ; saved from all care. But she is so afraid to burden her children with a sickly mother, that she has never frankly told them how feeble she is ; she waits on them as only a robust mother should ; she rises early to call them up and help them dress ; she never asks them to be careful of soiling or tearing their clothes, because the work of renovation is too heavy for her. She thus daily robs her children of an inspira- tion in cultivating self-help, carefulness, independence : virtues that Providence meant for them." " But," said the gloomy worker in leather, " these sickly mothers are a great disadvantage to children." "Not by any means," spoke up the Stranger, briskly ; "some of our strongest characters, our most useful people, have been developed HEIRS AND THEIR INHERITANCE. 29 in homes, where the mother often felt painfully that she had been laid aside from all usefulness. Bees gather honey from what we call weeds as well as garden flowers, and children often get excellent training from what we consider the very disadvantages of their sur- roundings, if only, we will not be wiser than heaven, and set our- selves to thwart the designs of Providence, for them." " I understand the Squire's last point," said the butter-buyer, " as to example you know what Josh Billings said 'If you wish to train up a child in the way he should go, just skirmish ahead on that line yourself.' It is true that children do sometimes learn by seeing the opposites of what they ought to be. I've known a boy get a decent disgust of tobacco because his father was everlastingly puffing or chewing. I've known a drunkard's boy to hate whiskey worse than other poison, since he laid to it all his hard knocks, rags, and short commons. But that isn't natural ; children generally follow parents' ways : the track lies marked out for them, and they sort of drop into it. I tell you, I would not like to make such a mark on my child's mind as that he avoided things just for seeing how hateful they made me. I'd rather be something more to my boys than a danger signal ; and, I say, neighbors, it's a solemn thing for a man to hear little feet pattering after him wherever he goes, and it ought to make him careful what way he takes." "The period of nonage," said the lawyer, "lasts for twenty-one years. The term of life assigned man is seventy years. He is thus nominally under the parental care, for less than one-third of his ex- istence. Evidently the aim of the parents while the child is with them, should be to fit him for that more than doubly long period, when he is to act independently. But at a much earlier age than twenty-one, many young people begin their self-support or seek new homes. This should be an added motive for giving them sound prin- ciples, a habit of independent thinking, and a clearness of reasoning while they are yet young. One especial fault I find with parents is, that they undertake to do their children's thinking instead of estab- lishing them in fundamental principles, and letting them think for themselves." 30 PRACTICAL LIFE. " I don't know as I quite catch your meaning," said the hotel- keeper. "For instance, let us take matters of health," said the doctor. " There is a running fire of orders : ' Go to bed ; ' ' get up ; ' ' don't eat fast;' 'bathe;' 'put on your flannels;' 'never sit in a draught;' 'wear your overshoes.' The parent makes himself forever responsible for dictating certain acts needful to maintaining health; and if the guar- dianship of the parent is removed, the young person is really ignorant of the '-what' and the 'why' of hygienic matters. The child is a rea- sonable being, possessed of memory and logical faculties. The parent should begin by educating it to think : it should be given ex- planations on the care of its physical self; ' why ' the draught is harmful ; ' why ' rest is needed ; ' why ' the wet feet may be dan- gerous; 'why' the dress is to suit the season. It is just as easy to give the reason and form the judgment, as to keep up this constant issue of commands. One of my friends had a son married quite early in life. She brought the young couple home to live, and gave as a reason, that ' neither of them knew enough to change their shoes when they were wet.' Young folks are trained to this thought- lessness." "And here," remarked the Stranger, " is another side to that same question. The parent, a single individual, undertaking to do the thinking and give the orders for half a dozen, or half a score, falls into a habit of fussiness. Now fussiness is one of the most uncom- fortable elements that can be introduced into a home. Where fussi- ness reigns there is no rest. A fussy mother has fussy daughters and reckless sons. The little girls learn, by example, that the way to get along is never to let anybody alone to think for themselves, or to indicate a wish. The moment their eye falls upon any one they open a battery of suggestions. Whatever a poor victim undertakes to do, had better not be done at all, or should be done in some other way. If you stand up to stilly, you should sit ; if you sit, you ought to lie down ; if you lie down, you are destroying your eyes : at the same time you are doing too much or too little, or the wrong HEIRS AND THEIR INHERITANCE. 31 kind of work ; and the light you are in is the worst light possible. This constant nagging, well intended, but senseless, drives boys dis- tracted. They are goaded into obstinacy, or fly from the house ; the very net-work of Liliputian cords which is stretched over their free- will, makes them frantic to struggle and resist, and disregard all-, even the most suitable suggestions. Far better, once in a while, let the youth do a thing in a wrong way, where the wrong is not vital, and when they see that there must be a better method, suggest that method quietly and conclusively." " Yes," said the minister, " and by this constant taking of the re- sponsibility of thinking ; this fussiness that precludes independence,