lit!! 
 
Nothing irregular in Nature*, 
 
 O R, 
 
 DEFORMITY 
 
 
 A mere Fancy. 
 
 BEING 
 
 A New Set of Original BEAUTIES, Defign'doy 
 the celebrated £. Hemskirk, Curioufly etched on 
 
 LIKEWISE 
 
 Twelve fliort POEMS on the Variety of BEAUTY, 
 adapted to each Print. 
 
 Dedicated to a little, tho'a very Great Man. 
 
 . Alexander was crooked, and &efar was thin 
 French Harry the fourth had a prominent Chin ; 
 Yet thefe could all fight, and the Fair they could pleafe— — 
 Alas, for a Race of fuch Heroes as Thefe ! 
 
 Printed and Sold by J.Wyatt, next the Vine Tavern in Long- Acre 5 
 and by the Pamphlet Sellers of London and Wejtminjler, 1754. 
 
 £ Price One Shilling.] 
 
 Twelve Copper Plates. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
T O A 
 
 L I T T L E 
 
 THOUGH 
 
 A very GREAT MAN, 
 
 TH Y Wit, thy Perfon, and thy Name, 
 Thy Courage, Might, and martial Fame, 
 I leave to greater Bards than me, 
 Who fing aloud, infpiredby Thee : 
 Stranger to Satire, and to Praife, 
 'Tis mine to dedicate my Lays, 
 Without Reward, or felfiih Views ; 
 Which proves the Freedom of my Mufe : 
 For never fure was Poet brib'd 
 To leave his Patron undefcrib'd ! 
 
 To drive Men's Prejudice away, 
 And real Greatnefs to difplay, 
 
 My Verfe eflays Efpoufe it you, 
 
 Who ftrongly prove my Thefes true ; 
 "Who (nine cn high, art (hort by Fate $ 
 Tho' fmall indeed, yet truly Great, 
 
 What 
 
The DEDICATION, &c. 
 
 What could avail the noble Mind, 
 If Honours were to Shape confind > 
 If Dignity were plac'd in Size, 
 The biggeft Fool might rule the Wife 5 
 The Cur the Spaniel would furpafs, 
 And o'er them both would fliine the Afsj 
 The largeft Pebble would excel 
 The Brillanr, Diamond, and the Shell 5 
 A Barn were better than a Seat, 
 If that were large, this only neat. 
 
 Mankind fhall learn to judge from me 3 
 Nor always truft to what they fee $ 
 Shall bring all Objeds to the Teft, 
 And then determine which is beft. 
 
FRO NT I ST I E C E. 
 
 The Difference of Beauty. 
 
 TH E Chafe of Beauty all purfue, 
 Which proves th'Exiftence of it true: 
 . In Nature, and in all her Works, 
 A Charm, a Secret Venus lurks : 
 But in what certain Point it lies, 
 Is undetermin'd by the Wife. 
 
 Bid Gervafe paint a lovely Dame, 
 He'll regularly raife your Flame ^ 
 With nice Proportion, and Defign, 
 You'll fee the finifti'd Pidure mine. 
 To Hemskirk put the fame Requeftj 
 Behold his Sentiments exprefs'd ! 
 In Odnefs and Grotefque he'll place 
 The Beauties of his fav'rke Race. 
 
 On his own Plan the furtheft Reach, 
 Is what a Judge admires in each : 
 Diftortion there would fpoil the Draught, 
 And here all Softnefs were a Fault. 
 Both Matters may their Skill difplay, 
 And pleafe us, in a difF'rent Way. 
 
 The 
 
CO 
 
 Tk MindY the Man, 
 
 VV Refin'd the Beaux of Anna's Days ^ 
 When the polite Spe&ator reign d, 
 And Vice was pleas'd to be reftrain'd 5 
 On IJis Banks the Mufes warm'd 
 A virtuous Band, by Nature form'd, 
 In Mind, with ev'ry Art to pleafe, 
 In Face and Body, worfe than thefe. 
 
 What powder'd Fop, or noify Spark r 
 Who travers'd Hide, or James's Park, 
 Could boaft an Addifon his Friend ? 
 Would Steele to {both him condefcend? 
 Yet Steele and Addifon the Sage, 
 The joint Reformers of an Age, 
 When in the Ugly Club enroll'd, 
 Were * proud to have their Honour told. 
 
 Learn ye Male Belle?, ye He-ftie Things, 
 Where Virtue lies, whence Honour fprings. 
 Drefs, fpark, and powder all you can, 
 Tis to be Boys.— The Mind's the Man. 
 
 H E N manly Wit, in fliort EfTays, 
 
 * SleBator.. 
 
(7) 
 
 A Long Nofe, the Sign of a Great Man." 
 
 IF All a Parity can {how 
 Of Length above, and Length below, 
 That fair Vanella found a Prize 
 In young Alexis, who derties.<? 
 Defcended of th* Augujian Race, 
 He proves his Lineage by his Face 5 
 And, from his Front far downward, wears 
 The Grandeur of two thoufand Years. 
 
 Such Julius was, and fuch before 
 The rival Twins that Rhea bore : 
 The fir ft of whom, who t other flew, 
 Had juft the longeft of the two. 
 Such were his Friends, the lufty * Boys, 
 Who bravely fnacch'd 'forbidden Joys ; 
 And ravifh'd each a Sabine Wife, 
 At the Jaft Hazard of his Life. 
 Such their Succeflbrs, who begot 
 Kings, Confute, Emp'rors, and what not? 
 Who made the Nations round adore 
 The laft great Empire of the Four. 
 
 * Romulus and Remus, 
 
 Nature 9 * 
 
( 8 ) 
 
 Nature'* Variety. 
 
 WH O looks the mute Creation round, 
 The Air, the Ocean, and the Ground, 
 But views a kind of pleafing; Strife, 
 And owns Variety it's Life > 
 But fees a regular Extreme 
 In what the Vulgar difefteem> 
 
 The fame in human Forms we find, 
 By what they leave upon the Mind. 
 How mould a thoufand Pi&ures ftrike, 
 If any two were juft alike? 
 Teeth Lips or Cheeks Nofe Front or Eyes, 
 We view indifferent, flight, or prize, 
 As Temper, Figure, Strength, or Hue, 
 Varies the fame in ev'ry two. 
 
 What Nature does, forbear to blame, 
 Tho* you and I are not the fame : 
 The Goddefs by Gradations moves j 
 Leflens in This, in That improves j 
 And what furprizes moft, can be 
 But in her uttermoft Degree. 
 
 Take 
 
(9) 
 
 Reader, Take Care of yourfelf. 
 
 *TT*HREE Beauties at a fingle Jook > 
 JL 'Tis the beft Picture in the Book ! 
 Three ? fays a Critick, where are three > 
 Read on, my Friend, and you (hall fee. 
 
 When Goatham flourifh'd in the North, 
 The Seat of Learning, Wit, and Worth, 
 Twelve of the Wifeft of the Piace 
 Went out, to fi(h for Roach and Dace. 
 
 How long they ftaid, how large a Dim 
 They caught, and where they put their Fills, 
 I neither care, nor (hall enquire. 
 
 When they confented to retire, 
 ' Let's fee, fays one with Air profound, 
 
 * If none of- us, my Friends, are drown'd. 
 The Thought was good, they ail confefs'dj 
 So each began to count the Reft. 
 
 * Sweet Jefus, cry'd they all, Eleven! 
 
 * Twelve of us came — - Have Mercy Heaven ! 
 
 * A Friend came by, and ftruck the firft • 
 
 * Tell yourfelf, Puppy, and be curs'd ! 
 
c m 
 
 ^^Handfome andWhtyjn our ownConceits* 
 
 TI S granted, He may laugh that wing, 
 So Fool at Fool felf-confcious grins: 
 For, by himfelf if each be try 'd, 
 We all are on the winning Side. 
 
 How Few have Senfe enough in fbre, 
 To but perceive their want of more .<? 
 A Neighbour Fool each Sot can {how, 
 And thank the Stars he is not fo. 
 Who own a Few of nobler Mind, 
 For one before, place ten behind. 
 
 Would Pbillis cenfure all the Sex, 
 Did file believe her own Defeds? 
 Tim, thought by all an awkard Elf, 
 Is a Narctjjus to himfelf: 
 E'en Rufus thinks himfelf complete, 
 In Perfon, Eloquence, and Wit. 
 
 Since there fubfifts in all our Thoughts, 
 One Mind and Body free from Faults: 
 Since Fools and Foils all elfe are found, 
 E'en let the Laugh go briskly round, 
 
 TM 
 
( » ) 
 
 The LJNDSKIP. 
 
 HAVE you not feen a fable Cliff, 
 High, craggy, pendulous, and fiiff, 
 Whofe huge, unfinifh'd Parts appear 
 In the Pofition you fhall hear? 
 
 Firft, in the Middle you behold 
 A Promontory curve and bold 3 
 Which o'er the Craggs below extends^ 
 Grows fpiral Hill, and ftill defcends 5 
 While Moifture from the Point diftilis 
 In heavy Drops, or trickling Rills. 
 
 To anfwer this, from the Rock's Root, 
 Another Length did there not moot 5 
 Projecting upwards far, to greet 
 The Point above, as Crackers meet<? 
 
 Deep in the hollow Part between, 
 A bubbling Fount have you not feen 3 
 Whofe Borders form a matted Wreath 5 
 Whofe Plenty waters all beneath i?j 
 See, will not yonder lovely Face 
 Reftore th' Idea of this Place i 
 
 Things 
 
( 13 ) 
 
 Things not to be valued by ontwardAppearance, 
 
 T) R I Z E not a Man for Form or Face : 
 Who buys a Jewel by the Cafe ? 
 
 Tberfites, tho morofe, was fage .• 
 Elfe could he move Vlyjffes' Rage? 
 Yet Homers Verfes almoli fright his 
 Admirers, when he paints Therfites. 
 
 Efops as Plamide draws his Figure, 
 Was an Ape's Foil, and not much bigger 5 
 Yet any fingie genuin Fable 
 Will prove his Mind robufl and able- 
 This Efop too, as fome relate, 
 Was a firft Minifter of State. 
 
 What was Scaron tfmong the' French} 
 Yet Scaron won * a charming Wench, 
 Who after rofe to Louis' Bed 5 
 Becaufe well fill'd was Scaron s Head. 
 The Woman's Tafte, indeed, was new t 
 The greater Praifes are her due. 
 
 Is any Britijl) Fair to blame, 
 For chufing like this learned Dame? 
 
 * Madam Maintenoru 
 
 Every 
 
( > 
 
 A T U RE diverfyfies her Face, 
 
 Yet gives each Part a proper Grace, 
 Extended wide, all fair and bright, 
 The level Landfcape courts the Light : 
 Where the huge hoary Mount afcends, 
 The bounded, awful Profpeft ends. 
 The Sylvan Godson this Hand reigns 5 
 On that gay plenty crowns the Plains. 
 Here the View mingles all Extreams, 
 Hills, Vales, Woods, Villages, and Streams. 
 Which Scene ungraceful (hall we call ? 
 Who fees not Beauties in them all > 
 
 When Cloe fmiles, her Pow'r we know: 
 Her Prudence Portias Furrows ftiow 5 
 Like Floras Features is her Wit 5 
 In Sylvio Truth and Roughnefs meet 5 
 Wild always had a Tyburn look 5 
 And Pbilo's Phiz, refle&s his Book : 
 Twas thus the plaftic Pow r defign'd, 
 Who in the Face pourtray'd the Mind. 
 
 D 
 
 AH 
 
Alt are Men rtfc/f /eeffz 
 
 BECAUSE a Thing, in human Shape, 
 Exceeds the Stature of an Ape, 
 Can do as Brutes and Infeds can, 
 Why muft this Creature be a Man? 
 Firft hear him fpeak, and fee him a& ; 
 Then judge the Agent by the Fad. 
 
 When Floridant, youngs jftrai-t, and tall, 
 Draws all the Eyes upon the Mall $ 
 When, tripping light on cor ken Heels, 
 Scarce Mother Earth her Burthen feels 5 
 'Tis not a Man that you behold, 
 Tho' caft in Nature's fineft Mold • 
 For while (he nicely touch'd the Frame, 
 She quite forgot the purer Flame. 
 
 Have you not read, in Do&or Swift, 
 Of Horfes with a reasoning Gift } 
 Or of the Nation of Quinunckis> 
 Whom we abufively call Monkies? 
 Whatever F/oridant may feem, 
 Thefe Folks would put him in their Tear _ 
 
 Lord 
 
Lord Shafcsbury V Venus, 
 
 STILL fomething captivates the Heart, 
 As well in Nature, as in Arr. 
 Some Traces each obferver fees, 
 In Birds and Beads, in Stones and Trees 5 
 And ftili th* Idea further fpreads, 
 In human Shapes, and human Heads : 
 All own the Charm, but where to place 
 This undefined, this real Grace, 
 Did ever any Two agree 3 
 Or will the Reader joyn with me ? 
 
 'Tis Noife and Nonfenfe at the Bar 3 
 'Tis on the Bench a folemn Air 5 
 More folemn ftill, and more obfcure, 
 Is he, who takes our Souls in cure : 
 The Dodor's cant, the Statefman's Art} 
 His Truth, his Standard of Defert, 
 AH are Perfections in their Kind 3 
 All, all, are Beauties of the Mind. 
 
 Thy Venus Cowper>* Nature thine, 
 Who cannot fee, who can define ? 
 
 x* Lord Shaftsbury 
 
 Old 
 
OldAge and Innocence. 
 
 HARD is the Fate poor Women Share, 
 Alike the Ugly, and the Fair. 
 The Fair, if Gay, are Whores ot courfe : 
 
 Witches the Ugly are — ftill worfe I 
 
 The Cafe reversed would better pleafe ^ 
 For thofeare Witches more than thefe. 
 Againft the one, what Heart is arni d? 
 With t'other who was ever charm'd? 
 
 Forbid it Heav'n, that I (houid vex 
 The lovelieft^of the lovely Sex t 
 But to his Honour 'twill be told, 
 Who bravely dares defend the Old 
 
 When from the Cheeks the Rofe departs, 
 It draws the Arrow from our Hearts. 
 The added Length of Nofe and Chin/ j 
 Permit no Kifs to come between. 
 If Innocence in Woman dwell, 
 The Old and Ugly muft excell ; 
 Who moil our Appetites can pail, 
 Are the moft Innocent of all. 
 
 FINIS. 
 
V 
 
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