fit 
 
 
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LEWIS'S 
 
 CRANIO-LOGICAI, LECTURE 
 
 ON 
 
 WHICH HAS BEEN REPEATED UPWARDS OF FOUR HUNDRED TIMES, TO CROWDED 
 
 AUDIENCES, IN VARIOUS PARTS OF THE UNITED KINGDOM, AND MET 
 
 WITH THE MOST ENTHUSIASTIC AND UNIVERSAL APPLAUSE. 
 
 A COMIC ENTERTAINMENT, IN THREE PARTS, BLENDING INSTRUCTION WITH AMUSEMENT, 
 
 PART 1. COUNSELLOR CRANIO. 
 2 CAPTAIN CONSONANT. 
 3. DOCTOR TERMINATION. 
 
 "This Lecture (said SIR WALTER SCOTT) must have been a rich treat to the admirers of the art. It 
 was an intellectual banquet of no ordinary description, abounding with that interesting and curious infor- 
 mation, which nothing but extensiveresearch and long experience in the PRACTICE OF REPORTING could 
 possibly have furnished." 
 
 "The new mode of writing with the rapidity of speech the important discovery (lately made by the 
 Lecturer) of abbreviating by AUXILIARY SYMBOLS, without burthening the memory and his ingenious 
 method of LINKING WHOLE SENTENCES TOGETHER, instead of taking off the pen at every word, will form 
 a new and splendid era in the Stenographic art ; by rendering it infinitely more rapid and intelligible 
 than the most vivid imagination has hitherto anticipated. The subject was illustrated in a manner perfectly 
 original and interesting, and so clearly elucidated, that every person who heard it must have understood 
 the Lecturer, and have been thoroughly CONVINCED of the great SUPERIORITY of his system." 
 
 LONDON: PRINTED BY w. SMITH AND co., KING STREET, LONG ACRE. 
 
DEDICATION 
 
 TO A YOUNG LADY. 
 
 My Dear Friend, 
 
 These lines and dots are locks and keys, 
 In narrow space to treasure thought. 
 Whose precious hoards, when'ere you please, 
 Are thus to light, from darkness brought. 
 On the small tablet of your heart, 
 By heaven's own finger be engraved, 
 Within, without, through every part 
 The words whereby you must be saved; 
 There the bright pages of God's book 
 In secret characters may lie, 
 Where you, alone ; have power to look, 
 Though hid from men or angel's eye j 
 Could nature's secrets all be found 
 Embosom'd where the billows roll, 
 In flowers embroidered on the ground, 
 By stars emblazoned o'er the pole ; 
 Less were the sum of truth reveal'd 
 Through heaven, and earth, and sea expressed, 
 Than would be written there, and seal'd 
 Once and for ever in your breast 
 
 : : 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 The origin of the present manner of printing the debates in Parliament. 
 
 THAT evil may be productive of good ; and that the machinations of the vicious may operate 
 in a manner contrary to their intentions, will be perceived by the following circumstance which gave 
 rise to the origin of the present manner of printing the debates in Parliament. 
 
 The late Earl of Marchmont, in whose character there is not any thing that could entitle him to 
 the least distinction amongst great men ; was possessed of some qualities of a peculiar kind, which 
 (it has been justly observed) frequently rendered him ridiculous, and produced consequences he 
 never intended. To him the public are indebted for an interesting species of information, which it 
 was his ardent and anxious wish to prevent : therefore there is no obligation due to his memory, 
 for the benefit which his illiberality produced. The fact and the circumstances are worthy of expla- 
 nation, because they form an epoch in the history of Great Britain. 
 
 During the time of Mr. Wilkes's exile, (1764) he corresponded with his friends in England, and 
 to one of these he sent a jeu d'esprit, consisting of the following words : 
 
 " In the press, The Parallel, or the Ttso Johns Dukes of Bedford; John Regent of France, and 
 John, the Ambassador ; roith letters and anecdotes. 
 
 Right tall he made himself for show, 
 
 Tho' made full short by God : 
 And when all other dukes did bow, 
 This duke did only nod. 
 
 To which is added a supplement, zshich continues the story to the present time." 
 
 The person to whom this jeu d'esprit was sent, caused it to be printed in the London Evening 
 Post. Next day, Lord Marchmont complained of it in the House of Lords, stating that it was a 
 breach of privilege. The printer was ordered to attend the house, and was fined a hundred pounds, 
 besides fees, which amounted to between thirty and forty pounds more. 
 
Lord Marchmont was in the habit of frequently complaining to the House of Lords upon very 
 frivolous matters, which he called breaches of privilege. The printer of the Gazetteer (Say) was 
 brought upon his knees before the house, for only saying in his paper that the thanks of the house 
 had been given to Sir Edward Hawke for his victory over Conflans in the month of November 1759. 
 
 He sedulously examined the newspapers every day, with the ardour that a hawk prowls for prey. 
 Whenever he found any lord's name printed in any paper, he immediately made a motion in the 
 house against the printer for a breach of privilege. The usual fine was a hundred pounds for each 
 offence. This practice went on for some time. In one day he levied 5001. Two hundred pounds 
 from one man (Baldwin.) The practice, at length, became alarming, and some members of the 
 House of Commons, particularly Mr. Serjeant Hewitt, afterwards Lord Lifford and Chancellor 
 of Ireland, began to entertain thoughts of making a motion in Parliament upon it. The practice 
 and conduct of Lord Marchmont was becoming equivalent to the lords levying money. As soon 
 as Lord Mansfield, who had been Lord Marchmont's coadjutor and adviser in this business, was 
 informed of Mr. Hewitt's design, he stopped Lord Marchmont. But the person who had smarted 
 for Mr. Wilkes's jeu d'esprit, had not forgotten the circumstance, and as soon as opportunity 
 occurred, the matter was treated with proper attention. 
 
 In the year 1771 some detached and loose accounts of the proceedings of Parliament, were 
 printed in the newspapers ; Col. George Onslow, in the House of Commons complained of them as 
 breaches of privilege. The printers were ordered to attend the house, which several of them did; 
 they begged pardon, and promised not to offend again. But the printer of the London Evening 
 Post, who was complained of with the others, refused to attend ; upon which he was ordered 
 to be taken into custody. As this was foreseen, it was previously concerted with Mr. Wilkes, 
 at this time an Alderman of London, that if the messenger of the House of Commons attempted to 
 take the printer by force, the printer was to charge him with an assault, and take him into custody ; 
 for which purpose a constable was in waiting. The thing happened as it was foreseen. The 
 messenger came, and insisted upon taking the printer away. The constable appeared, and took the 
 messenger to the Mansion House, where Mr. Wilkes, the Lord Mayor, (Crosby) and Mr. 
 Alderman Oliver, were in readiness. The printer made his complaint of the messenger having 
 assaulted him, and the messenger was on the point of being committed, when he was bailed by the 
 Deputy Serjeant at Arms. The House of Commons afterwards sent the Lord Mayor and 
 Mr. Oliver to the Tower, where they received innumerable deputations from different bodies, with 
 thanks for their conduct. Mr. Wilkes they did not choose to meddle with. 
 
 From the spirit of the people shewn at this time, Parliament saw that the most prudent measure 
 was to give up the contest; and from that period the debates and proceedings of Parliament have 
 been constantly and regularly printed in the daily newspapers. This circumstance (derived from 
 the peevishness and pet lance of Lord Marchmont,) has given to the community a very important 
 advantage which no wise or patriotic legislature would attempt to subvert. The privilege of 
 Reporting having been once admitted ; to oppose the standing orders of the house, against that 
 usage which has now so long prevaile<l, of detailing in the public papers what passed there in 
 discussion, would be considered an arbitrary restraint on "the liberty of the press." 
 
THE RIGHT OF REPORTING. 
 
 There was a time when, constitutional law which is, or ought to be, paramount over all other 
 laws, seemed not only to be lost sight of, but trampled under foot. But we have now got into a 
 purer political atmosphere, with an administration which seems to be fo unded m reason and sound 
 principle; and which, in three short years, by kindness, liberality, and acting on the principle of 
 common sense, has done more for the peace, prosperity, dignity of the country, and security of the 
 throne, thus making it still more worthy the imitation and rivalship of surrounding nations, than 
 was done by all the coercive measures of the preceding half century. Nor has that spirit of liber- 
 ality which has influenced the cabinet remained matter of indifference to the bench, as the following 
 sentiments of Baron Garrow, one of the judges of the Exchequer, on the late trial for libel, of 
 Jones v. the editor of the Staffordshire Advertiser, will shew. In the reported case, several wit- 
 nesses had sworn that Jones was not to be believed on oath, the witnesses respectively assigning 
 their reasons. Such as, that he, Jones, had sworn affidavits on Robinson Crusoe, and said that a 
 certain person would never make a lawyer unless he could swear that a hen and chickens were a 
 coach and four. These reasons were given in the report, but some others, in which the witnesses 
 had sworn that '' Jones had mercilessly oppressed the poor, " were omitted. The learned judge, in 
 his charge to the jury, observed. "The question for the jury to decide, in the first place, would be, 
 was this a fair, full, just, and impartial account of what had taken place on the trial ? If not, then 
 he was bound to tell them the publication was a libel ; but if it was a fair account, the defendant 
 would, in that case, be entitled to a verdict ; for he (Baron Garrow) was clearly of opinion, that a 
 party had a RIGHT to give a fair, full, and impartial account of whatever took place in a court of 
 justice ; and for this reason, that the public were entitled to be present in a court, and hear all that 
 was going forward ; and that being the case, it zoos absurd to say, that because the court was too 
 small to hold all the public, they were thereby the less entitled to be made acquainted with its pro. 
 ceedings. He was quite satisfied they had such a RIGHT, and indeed it was necessary toward pre- 
 serving public respect for the administration of justice, by the opportunity it afforded them of con- 
 stantly observing that its proceedings were conducted with purity and decorum. He repeated, 
 therefore, that a party had a RIGHT to PUBLISH a fair and just account of what took place in any 
 court of justice; nor was it necessary that he should state every word that was uttered, 
 provided he omitted no material fact to prejudice either of the parties. " 
 
 Every word of this judge-like and valuable address ought not only to be emblazoned in letters of 
 gold, but it ought also to be printed in such characters as will enable every individual in the British 
 Empire to become possessed of it. With this view we cheerfully give it a place in this preface. 
 We need scarcely add that the jury returned a verdict for the respectable editor of that paper. Judge 
 and jury thus holding that if the report was fair, it was not only proper that it should be published, 
 but that it was necessary for the ends of public justice . 
 
8 
 REPORTING SERMONS IN SHORT HAND, 
 
 "I was never more forcibly struck (says the pious MONTGOMERY,) with theimportance of Steno- 
 graphy, or Short Hand, than on reading (if we may judge from the Author's publication,) a most 
 correct report of the Funeral Sermon on the late REV. ROWLAND HILL, by the REV. 
 WILLIAM JAY, in the ''Pulpit," price three-pence ; which, from the number circulated through the 
 Kingdom, no doubt returns a handsome profit. Had this sermon been delivered before printing 
 was invented, to only about 1200 hearers, would it have been communicated ; and, had it been 
 before Short-hand was so improved, as it has been by the "LEWISIAN SYSTEM", and applied to 
 such purposes, still with the advantage of the press, comparatively only a few would have had the 
 advantage of its perusal ; for how few could purchase it at the Author's price! who, under the sole 
 influence of a desire to propagate the truth, and not the love of selfish profit, is, no doubt, selling 
 it at as low a charge as possible. 
 
 I am sure that all true Christians will feel delighted to see that our best sermons may thus be 
 correctly reported, and rendered at such a price as to give every poor man of the Kingdom a 
 religious library. Who cannot see in it the wisdom of God himself ? it is the omnipresent Jesus, 
 through human instrumentality, preaching the gospel to the poor. In the sermon alluded to, after 
 speaking of some of our most efficient ministers, the preacher observes, "But to think of some! 
 To think of the Luthers to think of the Whitfields to think of the Hills! Oh! what a tax, 
 not only of admiration, but of gratitude, have some levied upon all countries, and all generations ! 
 There are, also, some who are not preachers, but writers ; their works, having obtained acceptance 
 and circulation, have produced a kind of omnipresence, so that they are doing good in ten 
 thousand places at the same time, and will be so, perhaps, for ates, and to the end of the world." 
 And the Rev. Preacher might have justly added, that, by the admirable use of Short-hand, the good 
 would be rendered ten thousand times ten thousand fold. I know that Mr. Jay, and all sincere 
 Christians, will join me in admiration of this provision, which the Lord in his good time has 
 appointed to fill the hungry with good things. Ministers of the gospel are not like physical quacks, 
 who, in vending their nostrums, take advantage of human laws, to keep all the profit to themselves, 
 all they wish is to do good the spread of the truth, the only reward they seek. 1 hope, therefore, 
 that in promotion of this great object, every one who can, will study Stenography, and make all our 
 most eminent ministers omnipresent with the poor, advancing them in the knowledge of truth, and 
 pouring into ihe afflicted bosom, freely and generously, the balm of Divine consolation." 
 
THE 
 
 OF THE 
 
 "CHAMPION OF SHORT HAND." 
 
 If yon wish for information, 
 From the CHAMPION of this art, 
 Listen to his explanation 
 All his secrets he'll impart. 
 
 P A R T I. 
 
 COUNSELLOR CRANIO. 
 
 THAT celebrated mimic STEVENS, who, about forty years ago, convulsed whole audiences 
 with laughter, at his whimsical ' 'Lecture on Heads ," was certainly a most finished humour- 
 ist ; but his satire was often directed against the wise and the virtuous, which is what I for 
 ever disclaim. Mine is to be a "Lecture on Heads," though I shall have but three heads 
 to exhibit, if I except my own ; which, perhaps may be the subject of animadversion 
 another evening! The present lecture, however, is of a nature very different to that of my 
 facetious predecessor : the object I have in view is that of illustrating, in a very amusing and 
 interesting manner, the art of Short-Hand Writing ; and to fix its principles so effectually 
 upon the memory, by the aid of CKANIOLOGICAL association, as to render a hitherto 
 abstract study, a most simple and delightful recreation. 
 
 This HEAD, with which I begin the first part of my lecture, though not unlike a huge 
 turnip in shape and colour, has no appearance whatever of the Green no signs of vege- 
 tation no, no, the features are beaming with intelligence a true classical, conjugating 
 countenance a head that hates its own mother tongue; and, affecting to despise whatever 
 
10 
 
 is common, speaks in Latin reads in Greek and thinks in Arabic / What means this 
 proud, imperious look, think ye ? Oh '.this HEAD belongs to one of those haughty ones, 
 called BARRISTERS a limb of the law a sort of cormorant, who has eaten a certain num- 
 ber of good dinners, at certain stipulated places, by which are imparted from the belly to the 
 brain the necessary qualifications! Yes, rerily, this head hath eaten itself into the profession 
 it belongs to that grave philosophical personage, CRANIO, first cousin to Judge MIDAS, 
 who had the inimitable art of turning every thing he touch'd into gold; and now touch some 
 people with gold, and you may make any thing of them ! money getting consisting in the 
 art of making fools wise ; or, of suffering ourselves to be made fools of ! 
 
 Here is a head, and only a head a plain, simple, naked, unembellished appearance 
 which, in its present situation, conveys to us no other idea than that of a bruiser prepared for 
 a boxing match ! Behold, how naked how simple a thing nature is ! But, behold how 
 luxuriant is (putting a barrister's wig on CRANIO) ART ! What importance is nozo seated 
 on these brows! What reverence the features demand! What dignity is diffused on the 
 whole countenance ! This Cthe wig) is a compendium of law special pleadings in the fore- 
 top, pleas, rejoinders, replications, and demurs, in each turn of the head the knotty points 
 of practice, in the twist of the tail ; the depth of the full bottom denotes the length of a 
 chancery suit; while the black coif at top, like a blister plaster, seems to tell us that the 
 law is a great irritator, and never to be used but in very desperate cases ! 
 
 You have all heard of the Jewish champion, whose strength lay in his hair : one would 
 think that the distributers of the law were for placing all wisdom there. To appear wise, 
 nothing more is requisite than for such a man to borrow hair fiom the heads of his neighbours, 
 and clap it like a bush upon his own! The wig the wig the wisdom's in the wig ! 
 Without the wig, what would be the outlines of the law? And yet this most important 
 appendage is. in these days of frivolity and fashion, thought rather to caricature than to dig- 
 nify the man ! What a profusion of fine flowing silvery locks, that would have done honour 
 to PARNELL'S Hermit and then the tails the sprightly tripartite which appear like the 
 dangling decorations on the tasselled drapery ! What possible consistency (a fastidious 
 moralist might enquire) is there about this whimsical appendage, when placed behind a 
 countenance so solemn and so grave? This (he might say) is the union of dignity and 
 meanness ; which a certain philosopher has asserted to be the cause of laughter. I think 
 there is some truth in this ; and yet, however we may deride the pomposity of the wig, or 
 laugh at the drollery of its appendage, there are certain situations wherein we should feel 
 rather uncomfortable to have them shook at us ! 
 
 As it is not my intention to lead your imagination into the regions of mere speculative 
 hypothesis, in my stenographic research, but to content myself with the most palpable and self-evident 
 truths, I shall enter immediately, with all possible pleasure, into a familiar explanation of this very 
 interesting subject. 
 
It is necessary to inform those who are unacquainted with the nature of Short-hand, 
 that it is founded, like the common hand writing, upon an alphabet, with this excep- 
 tion, that the marks made use of to express its letters are the most SIMPLE that can possibly be 
 imagined. These are composed of the line _ ; the circle O ; the semicircle w ; the 
 segment of the circle ^- ; the semicircumference (/; and the segment of the ellipsis c _ ; 
 as will be seen in the following examples : 
 
 t p d fv r s n m lyzobkqxgjh 
 
 The committal of these characters to memory so effectually that the hand shall form them 
 in the most rapid and unhesitating manner, is so great a desideratum that it would 
 tend to produce a proper enthusiasm for this sublime subject, in lieu of that apathy and indiffe- 
 rence, which a superficial knowledge of them has often excited, even to the premature 
 abandonment of the Stenographic art ! 
 
 If any plan, therefore can be devised, for impressing these characters indelibly upon the 
 memory, it must certainly be considered an important acquisition. The method I am about 
 to develop, though perfectly unique and somewhat whimsical, will effectually accomplish 
 this desirable end. What, if I shall prove that this said CRAXIO'S HEAD is closely connected 
 with the Stenographic art contains the whole of my alphabetical characters and forms 
 the FIRST LESSON in my Short Hand System ! 
 
 As CRANIO'S profile is, this evening, intended to answer the purposes of science, a little 
 deviation in his usual appearance will be excusable by the bye, as his head nay even an 
 exposure of his bald pate, will be necessary for our present purpose, you will allow me to 
 remove those beautiful curls which envelop it. 
 
 For, though he seems a saucy prig, 
 When decorated with his wig 
 His wig, which gives him skill to steer 
 In Litigation's wild career, 
 'Mid writs arrests and consultation 
 Bail special pleas and declaration 
 Demurs rejoinders replication 
 Fees briefs and bantering botheration 
 And all the mighty fuss dependant 
 Twixt mad-brain'd plaintiff and defendant ! 
 Yet, when his scull is stripp'd and bare, 
 Instead of LAW 'twill soon appear, 
 Nought but the Short-hand marks are there ! 
 With leave from you, and leave from him, 
 I'll still indulge my curious whim, 
 His wig and gravity I'll borrow, 
 And lend him mine perhaps tomorrow! 
 
12 
 
 In consequence of the exuberance of its curls, this exquisite article must be handled with 
 very great delicacy (taking the wig off 6'ram'o), Let me ask you gravely does not the head 
 of CRANIO exhibit lines of extraordinary beauty, now we have shorn him of his antiquated 
 perriwig ? What a globosity of skull, and what a fine prominent forehead dignified with 
 the organ of oratory ! and filled with a mighty mass of all those quibbles and quirks, which 
 
 usually make up the contents of a lawyer's but hold ! as least said is soonest mended, 
 
 and, as those that say nothing cannot be blam'd for speaking, we have this evening chosen to 
 exhibit the counsellor as MUTE, and hope the audience won't take offence at it. Some heads 
 are mute, because they have nothing to say ; some should be mute, because they say nothing 
 to the purpose ; some men say nothing at all to their wives ; and some married men would 
 be extremely happy if their wives said nothing at all to THEM! But, be that as it may -I 
 think I shall satisfactorily prove to you, that this whimsical figure will afford you more useful 
 information than GEORGE STEVENS ever communicated through the medium of all his gro- 
 tesque assemblage of heads put together ! I see your astonishment, but still I am serious ! 
 I shall prove to demonstration, that this said CRANIO'S HEAD has more about its very out. 
 lines, than the gravest of you may, at first sight, anticipate. 
 
 GALL and SPURZHEIM, in their hypothetical wanderings over the surface of the human 
 pate, have described no less than 35 divisions or compartments ; including various lumps and 
 bumps, professedly indicative of certain mental peculiarities; but, at best, how uncertain 
 and inconclusive are these speculations ! On the contrary, though CRANIO'S head (the profile 
 of which is sufficient for our present purpose) consists of many distinct parts, equally unal- 
 terable in their form, whether viewed as completing the profile, or as forming the separate 
 members of it, yet, in themselves they contain all the convincing force of mathematical 
 demonstration ! 
 
 THE ALPHABET, OR FIRST LESSON. 
 
 b d f g h j kc I m n p q r x sz t v is x y 
 
 \ ' c ^ r c " ^ \ > > x o_\^ 3 
 
 I shall now endeavour to convince you that it is possible to form a correct outline of 
 CRANIO'S head, merely by placing in regular order the various characters of my Short-hand 
 alphabet ; and that by this simple, but effectuall method, the whole, with a little practice, 
 may be so firmly imprinted upon the memory, even of a child, as scarcely by any possibility to 
 be forgotten. 
 
13 
 
 The back of the head shall describe letter b _J 
 The crown of the head will be q \ d'ye see, 
 The front of the head letter k / shall supply, 
 And the ridge of the nose a good d / will display. 
 
 The turn of the nose g c doth clearly confess; 
 
 From the nose to the lip letter p \ shall express. 
 
 The top lip and the mouth will letter j ; teach, 
 
 Lower lip and the month shall be chosen for A e 
 From the lip to the top of the chin will be y 3 
 And the whole of the chin letter / C shall imply. 
 From the base of the chin to the ear shall be r / 
 And In front of the neck letter/ \ will appear. 
 The back of the neck letter \ will denote, 
 And the root of the neck for* I shall quote. 
 The hair from the face let w V^_ divide, 
 And the ear for an x (/ ghall be always applied. 
 The top of the eyelid doth letter ro ^ show, 
 And the lower lid also as n \^/ you may know; 
 But the best of all marks to form the eye-ball, 
 Will surely be s o and that finishes all. 
 
 I think it will now appear to the audience, that I have given a striking outline of the Human 
 Countenance ; and, to make the likeness still more perfect, it would be only necessary to close up 
 the interior. 
 
 GALL and SPURZHEIM'S system of Craniology, as I before stated, professes to exhibit 
 many mental peculiarities, expressed by the various divisions they have traced upon the 
 human skull ! For my own part, I shall include the whole of this pericranium under one 
 comprehensive term, which shall be that of ideality and which, reflected as it has been, 
 upon your optics, will be found, I think, to have produced what, according to Cranio. 
 logists, is termed adhesiveness. 
 
 It has been customary, for the sake of EXPEDITION, to make the alphabetical marks the 
 arbitrary representatives of some particular words ; and in doing this (certainly not aware 
 of the importance of the task), those who have written on the subject have generally fixed 
 on " monosyllables," many of which are, in reality, merely the SOUND of the letters to which 
 they have been applied ; and it was, therefore, entirely useless to apply them to those charac- 
 ters as arbitrariesit was only imposing an unnecessary burden on the memory. In this 
 respect I have taken the liberty of differing from all other writers on the subject, and have 
 
14 
 
 selected such words as my extensive practical experience convinced me were of very frequent 
 occurrence, and at the same time embrace the greatest number of terminations. By this 
 means I have avoided one of the most fatal errors of other authors that of applying several 
 words to each character (a plan so productive of obscurity); and I have also obtained an 
 enormous power of abbreviation, without injuring the legibility, or burthening the memory. 
 For although there is only one word applied to each mark, yet most of those words embrace 
 from eight to twelve terminations, and are all represented by the self-same character for 
 instance, OBSERVE, *, ed, er, ing, eth, est y able, ation. I have put these words into verse, in 
 order to imprint them more readily on the memory. 
 
 B ^ for object, and likewise observe, we must know, 
 
 D / discover, and also deliver, will show ; 
 
 F \ for frequent, and likewise forgive, I apply, 
 
 G < for govern and general, none will deny ; 
 
 H c will habit and happy keep clearly in view, 
 
 K /*" for kind and for Inow, I am certain will do ; 
 
 L C both lawful and labour, shall always command, 
 
 M ^ for imitate and for imagine must stand ; 
 
 N \j for necessary and for neglect, is quite clear, 
 
 P I for public and perfect must always appear ; 
 
 Q ~^\ for quick and for question, we must not refuse, 
 
 R / is used for respect and reflect, when you choose ; 
 
 S o for scarce and for serious, if those words occur, 
 
 T on time and on temper, I always confer ; 
 
 W V> for both wicked and worthy, shall be, 
 
 X / stands for expect and extraordinary ; 
 
 Y 3 for yield and yourself, put down,if you're able, 
 And that will complete every word in this table. 
 
 When the learner is perfectly acquainted with the construction and signification of each 
 of the alphabetical characters, he may practice the FAIRING of them (in order to prepare him 
 for writing zcords.) observing that each character be properly united with the preceding one. 
 The method of joining the short-hand letters does not differ in any respect from that of 
 common writing; where the first character ends the second is to be commenced, running, as 
 it were, into each ether, in the easiest and most natural manner, without taking the pen off 
 the paper. Suppose for instance, we wish to join t and p together. First, put down the 
 horizontal line for t at the end of it unite the perpendicular line which represents p I 
 thus ~~| tp ; and in like manner the proper combination of any two letters may easily be 
 made. 1 he learner may also exercise himself by joining all the alphabetical letters together, 
 in one continued line, without taking off the pen, until the whole be completely finished, thus : 
 
15 
 
 Before I conclude this part of my Lecture, and replace that exquisite covering on the 
 pericranium of my learned friend, I shall take the liberty of making a few observations 
 (by way of digression) on the subject of WIGS ; more especially, as I touched upon 
 that important subject at the commencement of my lecture important, at least, to some 
 members of the community; for instance, the wig maker, but more particularly the wig 
 wearer he who, through folly or fashion, or a combination of both, seems to act upon the 
 good old adage, that " a calf's head is best hot ! " By all the laws of laughing, however, 
 every man has an undoubted right to play the fool with himself; and under that licence the 
 judicial mountebanks of modern times even from the big-wigged u Chief Justice " himself, 
 down to his immaculate journeyman, the time serving PARASITE of the Petty Sessions (follow- 
 ing the bent of their inclination, rather than the dictates of reason), play their merry-andrew 
 tricks assume a vast deal of consequence talk big and look fierce and terrible as a living 
 lion ! ! ! 
 
 Now I should not be at all surprised if there are some grave personages present who 
 would not venture their heads into one of these wigs before a public assembly, if it could 
 engrave the whole system of British jurisprudence upon their brains ! (Sarcastically^ Fie 
 on the false taste of the present age, that would ridicule so decent and becoming au^orna. 
 ment ! Who, in the name of common sense, would not feel extremely proud of it ?^. It 
 exalts the human figure at least six inches. It makes a man rise a little in his oven esteem, 
 and fancy that every transaction is accompanied with more confidence and effect. But, to be 
 serious It would really be difficult to describe the felicity of feeling connected with the wear- 
 ing of one of these knowing-looking wigs ! I have often speculated upon this subject, in 
 surveying the bronze countenances of our English judges, when they sometimes affect the 
 gravity of the lion, and at others resemble the pert vivacity of smaller animals; but I never 
 knew, till of late, the practical advantages resulting from it . 
 
 Indeed, it is a charming thing, 
 
 To have a WIG to chatter in ; 
 
 How sleek how smooth how wild how staring! 
 
 It fills the mind with noble daring ; 
 
 It gives one volubility, 
 
 Wisdom, grace, and subtilty. 
 
 That man was certainly deserving the thanks of his fellows, whose inventive faculties first 
 suggested the ingenious art of making wigs! What a decent, appropriate, and dignified 
 ornament for the head ! What would FRANCIS I. have given for such an acquisition ! but alas ! 
 all princes are not equally happy ! Who will deny that the maker deserves not the title of artist? 
 Consider, it is the real renovator the true way to grind old folks young it makes elderly 
 ladies look lovely and inviting, and gouty old gentlemen gracious and agreeable ! I feel at 
 this moment an unusual degree of interest on the subject of wigs. I should like to ascertain 
 who was really the first wig maker, and also who was the first man who wore a wig ! 
 Shame on the world, that the names of these notable men are buried in oblivion! Fie on 
 
16 
 
 that phalanx of scribbling historians, who, though insupportably diffuse on the veriest trifles, 
 have passed over an event so important to the world ! ! ! I would that I had a museum of 
 wigs, arranged in order, agreeably to the time when they were severally invented begin- 
 ning with the most antient and ending with the most modern ! Thus furnished, I might wear 
 them in their order ; every wig thus worn, would produce a distinct train of thoughts and 
 feelings, and excite a vast variety of impressions upon the minds of others, With what 
 different sensations, for instance, does the spectator view the wigs worn by " Noodle " and 
 " Doodle " in " Tom Thumb, " to those worn by the judges in our courts of law ; or, to that 
 judicial exquisite which gives its wearer a licence both to talk nonsense, and to look with an 
 owl-like gravity, as the business of the court may alternately require, and which is, at times, 
 the cause of merriment, as also of mourning. But, perhaps it may be expected that I should 
 illustrate this position well, I shall endeavour to do so, by giving you a specimen of legal 
 jargon, exemplified in a declaration in an action for an assault; and for this purpose I'll just 
 put my head, for a few minutes, into that prodigious exquisite, which is wont to embellish 
 the head of my *' learned friend " CRANIO ! and then having so done, and having done so, in 
 order to appear in character like other gentlemen of the long robe, I shall shroud my figure in 
 his sable mantle. What an essential part of the legal wardrobe is the said gown ; it trans- 
 forms a cipher to a sophister gives importance to the impertinent and disguises the awk- 
 ward gait of the cloven foot ! ! ! But let us see what the brief says : 
 
 JOHN-A.GUDGEON, Plaintiff; 
 JoHN-A-GuLL, Defendant 
 
 My Lud, and Gentlemen of the Jurj, 
 
 The pleadings state THAT John a-Gull 
 Of envy, wrath, and malice full, 
 
 With swords, knives, sticks, stones, fists, and bludgeon, 
 Beat, bruised, and wounded JoHN-a-GunGEO.v. 
 First count's for, THAT, with divers jugs, 
 To wit, twelve pots, twelve cups, twelve mugs 
 Of certain vulgar drink called toddy, 
 Said Gt'Lr, did sluice said GUDGEON'S body, 
 And soak'd him thro' and thro' with toddy. 
 
 The second count's for other toddy 
 Cast, flung, or liiu I'd on GUDGEON'S body 
 To wit his gold laced hat, and hair on, 
 And clothes which he had then and there on 
 To wit twelve jackets, twelve surtonts, 
 Twelve pantaloons, twelve pair of boots ; 
 Which did thereby much discompose 
 Said GUDGEON'S mouth, eyes, ears, and nose, 
 Back, belly, neck, thighs, feet, and toes! 
 By which and oilier wrongs unheard of, 
 His clothes were spoil'd and life despair'd of ! !! 
 (Takes off the wig.) 
 
17 
 
 Now this is LAW; and the loquaciousness of the law is raultiloquacious : forasmuch 
 moreover likewise and also provided always -nevertheless whereas notwithstanding !! 
 The liberty of the law is the happiness of the English, and it is very happy for us English- 
 men, that we have the liberty to go to law ! 1 ! 
 
 By the HUE which the judicial wig imparts to the wearer's face, we may judge that it is 
 lined with BRASS a most excellent ally to the necessary appendages, tongue, and brains. 
 Thus equipped, a man may advocate any thing ; and the best picture he can make of the 
 wont subject the more clever he is considered, in this latter case, I should promise myself 
 no small advantage, if I should gain a proficiency in the various evolutions of which a wig is 
 capable when placed upon the head of an experienced wig wearer. Though it may appear, 
 at first sight, to be of little or no importance, yet, when this is artfully managed, and aided 
 by a thin, sallow countenance, and a fierce black eye, the effect is perfectly irresistible ! for, 
 I will maintain that there is no wig that human ingenuity ever put together, the influence of 
 which has been HALF so potent and overwhelming as that with THREE TAILS!!! I have 
 seen a man of the best intentions that ever actuated the human bosom, as completely paralysed 
 as the most self-condemned culprit in the universe, merely from the varied evolutions of 
 one of these wigs! (Puts on the wig). Allow me to illustrate the subject practically. 
 
 Of the many which have come under my notice there are three MASTER MOVEMENTS, 
 which, in a cross examination, I have always found to be more effective than all the minor 
 ones united ! 
 
 First, The throwing it hastily into an oblique position. 
 Secondly, A quick descending and ascending motion. 
 
 And, lastly, A rapid movement from right to left, and from left to right (connected with 
 the former movement,) and accompanied with a violent shaking of the TAILS ! ! ! 
 
 The 1st implies a sndden consciousness of something intentionally hidden. 
 The 2nd a determination to have it developed! 
 
 And, the 3rd, the most inflexible Jirmness, which nothing can evade; accompanied with 
 the most merciless BROW-BEATING, which ends in confession imprisonment or the 
 pillory ! ! ! (Takes off the wig) 
 
 Now this is all very well ; but when we see those who are thus be-wigged and be-tailcd, 
 having no mercy on the modest, the weak, the timorous, and the ignorant cross-examining, 
 frightening, and at times by the most vile inuendoes ruining a poor devil's character, who is 
 forced to answer he scarcely knows how ; is it not as base and cowardly as an armed man 
 attacking one who is unarmed? and the only assistance we can propose is, that there should 
 be in court a wig for WITNESSES, with a SIMILAR LINING, by which they may feel them, 
 selves a little sheltered from the radiance of so many, who make them the focus of their 
 
 RAILLERY. 
 
18 
 
 And now, as the pericranium of my "Learned Friend" CRANIO has answered all the 
 purposes for which it was uncovered, it shall be again habited in its grate and appropriate 
 costume. (Puts the wig on CRANIO.) I shall place this antiquated philosopher, in all his 
 sober dignity behind the curtain, in order to ensure that gravity and solemnity which the 
 nature of our subject demands. 
 
 Like Si DROP EL, in Hudibras, 
 Across the stage I now shall pass, 
 And in ten minutes' time, not more, 
 Appear again upon this floor ; 
 When, by some odd conception led, 
 I'll introduce my SECOND HEAD! 
 
THE ANALYSIS OF THE CHAMPION OF SHORT HAND. 
 
 E'en those, who do not understand 
 The rules and practice of Short-Hand, 
 Shall for I'll make it plain appear 
 Soon see the whole distinct and clear. 
 
 PART II. 
 
 CAPTAIN CONSONANT. 
 
 I BELIEVE it is a circumstance, which none of the learned have yet attempted to disprove, 
 namely, that " When the BRAINS are out the man will die ; " but the same does not hold 
 good with the LIMBS ! for when they are off I mean when they are clean gone the man 
 may live! Of this, however, if you are not fully satisfied, you shall presently have ocular 
 demonstration. 
 
 Allow me then, kind Sirs, to introduce to your notice and respectful consideration (shews 
 him in) the remains of CAPTAIN CONSONANT ; brilliant and fiery as a burning cinder! 
 Who, in the terror of the moment, would not fly with the swiftness of a cannon shot, to see 
 such a combustible composition brought in sudden contact with a cask of gunpowder ? 
 What a contrast here to the pallid countenance of yon frigid philosopher, who appeared to 
 have been suddenly hurried from the regions of the frozen pole ? One would almost be 
 disposed to conclude that this gentleman's floridity of complexion was attributable to his 
 repeated visitations to the brandy bottle. It appears to glow with increasing brilliancy-- 
 he's like a Salamander clothed in flame ! 
 
 This is a buck of the first head a choice spirit, I warrant ye ; a fine fellow this to kick 
 up a dust, or to keep it up when it is kicked up ; to chuck a waiter behind the fire ; toss a 
 beggar in a blanket ; play at chuck with china plates ; hop round the room with a red hot 
 poker in his mouth, upon one leg ; swallow red hot coals ; or drink a fellow dead drunk ; 
 oh! he's quite the thing 
 
20 
 
 Yes ; (hose double-dyed demi-reps of the Captain's colour, emerged from the shades of 
 oblivion to the sunshine of patronage, are ever proud of establishing a character, though a 
 ridiculous one. Pleased with his new coat, let it suit him ever so ill, the coxcomb is led by 
 his vanity into the great world, when he should rather hide himself ; and his superficial glare of 
 ostentation, pride and insolence, render him the laughing-stock of the sensible part of mankind. 
 
 Imagine not, spectators, that the mutilations the Captain has submitted to have rendered 
 him one tittle less vain or conceited of himself oh, no! he has still the same good opinion 
 of his own personal attractions, and thinks every female who sees him must needs admire 
 him. Probably this is the case with macaroni dandies in general ! Let me here observe, 
 that authors differ much concerning the derivation of the word macaroni', but they all agree 
 on this particular point, that the termination is derived from the Greek 4k ONOS, " which sig- 
 nifies an ASS. I subscribe to this opinion entirely, and think it not very difficult to find out 
 the propriety of this etymology. You know that an ass has a stupid, sleepy, unmeaning, 
 looking head; so has a macaroni here the characteristics of consanguinity are very 
 strongly marked. An ass's head is generally nothing but hide and bone ; so is a macaroni's 
 it resembles a skull with two bull's eyes inserted in the sockets. A.n'ass has large ears, so 
 has a macaroni. 1 dare say you know that every animal thinks his own voice vastly musical; 
 and therefore observe how bountiful nature has been to the ass, in giving it such exquisite 
 auditory faculties, that it may the better hear, listen to, and admire its own sweet enchanting 
 voice. Here again, we may observe, that nature never does her work by halves; she pro- 
 portions the parti of all creatures, and suits them to the greatest nicety; thus, the ears of 
 the macaroni are of ample dimensions : behold the ears, how those cumberous trap doors fall 
 down by the sides of the face, like the lappets on the sides of the face of the Egyptian 
 mummy! The dandy will bluster, bully, swear and frighten all timid people, just as the ass 
 terrified the wild beasts, when it went hunting with the lion. But, if you have a mind to 
 chastise its insolence, only apply a good cudgel to its back, and the poor thing is as patient 
 and as humble as you please. The dandy's head is like a poet's garret, very badly furnished ; 
 he walks as if he were treading upon eggs, and in order to avoid the ridiculous appellation 
 of nobody, he is determined to be all body, and is padded, and stuffed, and whiskered into a 
 something resembling neither man nor monkey ! The life of a macaroni is a perfect 
 vacuum : his words are all wind, his actions are all flash, his thoughts (if he have any) are all 
 phantasms. He eats and drinks, he walks and he talks, it is true, and that most ridicu- 
 lously, totally different from any rational being. And, while these frothy fops and dandy 
 coxcombs, with their simpering, mincing, hesitating (Haugh ! Haugh / demme /) he and 
 she tones, are continually making inroads upon their mother tongue, and clipping polysylla- 
 bles into monosyllables ; as, when they tell us they cant, and they shaant, and they woont, 
 and they maant ; those whom they call vulgar make ample amends for their deficiency by 
 the addition of supernumerary syllables ; when they talk of breakfastes, and toasteses, and 
 running their fatesses against the postesses ! 
 
21 
 
 But here (with eyes that express an amorous gallantry) is the occult emblem of one of 
 those inhuman libertines, who care not a crab's claw how the world quiz them! Being 
 very ambitious and powerful, our hero is called "CONQUEROR ;'' the true meaning of which 
 is a successful cut-throat. But he was a very knight in valour one of those beings who 
 kill with a glance so he became GREAT in the estimation of some, as well as AMBITIOUS, 
 and they called him ALEXANDER THE GREAT, from the great number of people his AMBITION 
 had cut to pieces ; he was a most dexterous slaughter-maw, and thought mankind only 
 made for him to cut away with ; he was a great hero, warrior, and man-killer, formerly. 
 The exploits of Alexander are celebrated by half the great writers of the age, and yet he 
 was nothing more than a murderer and a madman; who ran from one end of the world to 
 the other, seeking whom he might cut to pieces ; and some fiery com plexioned heroes of 
 modern times want nothing to make them as great as Alexander, but the rust of antiquity 
 to varnish over their crimes, and the pens of venal writers to illustrate their actions. 
 
 Some people are of opinion that these delinquents do not owe their deviations from the 
 line of rectitude so much to the weakness of their heads as the badness of their hearts. "So 
 hardened (say they) are the abandoned great, and so dead to all remorse, that, thinking their 
 rank places them above the cognizance of the little world, they dare bid defiance to justice, 
 spurn at humanity, and impiously violate the very injunctions they have been the means of 
 laying upon others." But this proves the old maxim, that "the law makers are most fre- 
 quently the law breakers.'' The reason why these madmen kill and plunder with impunity, 
 is owing to a defect in the "Game Act,'' which was made for the preservation of the game 
 the gentlemen who drew up that act forgetting to make men, women, and children game, 
 though it is so common now-a-days, to make game of men, women, and children ! But to 
 be serious 
 
 This FIGURE is designed to impress upon the memory what are termed the DOUBLE CON- 
 SONANTS, or, such consonants as come together without a vowel between them. When the 
 pupil has acquired some practical proficiency in the alphabetical characters, contained in the 
 Jirst lesson; and can join them readily to eaeh other/ he proceeds to the next lesson, namely, 
 the Double and Triple Consonants. The knowledge of these will enable him to write tzzo, 
 and in some instances three letters with a single mark. As the whole of the alphabetical 
 characters when united, describe a correct outline of the human HEAD; so the union of the 
 double and triple consonant characters will be found to form the BODY and ARMS. 
 
 bl br ch jl gl gr sh str th tr 
 
 /) ? /* ^ \ ^ O CL / 
 
 But I will proceed to a practical demonstration of this position ; and, as there is something 
 about the Captain which, for our present purpose is extraneous and useless ; with the 
 permission of his Captainship, and this good humoured audience, I'll remove it. (Removes 
 his enormous green spectacles.) 
 
22 
 
 I shall now proceed (as in the former instance; to shew the connexion between my double 
 consonant characters and the figure, by a practical example. 
 The back, from neck to waist, 'tis clear, 
 Will suit the CONSONANTS br ? 
 The chest as far as that doth reach, 
 Will form an excellent ch / 
 And on the stomach shall appear 
 Those useful letters nam'd tr / 
 The body sever'd, will impeach 
 
 The line that does it, call'd th 
 
 The shoulder is the part to spell 
 
 When lengthen'd out enough, bl /) 
 
 But outside of the arm, 'tis clear, 
 
 From elbow, upwards, forms gr i/ 
 
 If rais'd the fist, some foe to quell, 
 
 From wrist to elbow claims ./Z^x 
 
 And, sure I must not here expel 
 
 The outward line, which shews gl \ 
 
 The fist, when clench'd, perhaps, would teach, 
 
 If well applied, the mark sh Q 
 
 And faith, I think, but few would dare 
 
 To stand before the str Q_ 
 
 The audience will now perceive that I have given as correct an outline of the Captain's 
 BUST, as in the former instance 1 gave of Cranio's HEAD. 
 
 Though the characters made use of in short hand are, generally speaking, but few, and 
 some of the most simple that its various professors have been able to select, yet the mere 
 committal of these characters to memory has been often found to damp the ardour of the 
 pupil, and eventually to destroy all interest for this otherwise pleasing and useful study. The 
 method I pursue in teaching it, removes every difficulty of this description, and renders the 
 committal of my short hand characters to memory, so easy and indelible that they can scarcely 
 by any possibility be forgotten, [n addition to this, I have not half the number of characters 
 in my system that are to be found in most others : which of course renders the task less 
 difficult. My method of fixing those characters upon the memory, will be found as ingenious 
 and pleasing as it is singular and curious, and exhibits within itself a little system of MNEMO- 
 NICS. By a merely accidental union of my short hand characters sometime since, I found 
 that not only do those contained in the ALPHABET, when placed in certain positions, form a 
 perfect outline of the HUMAN HEAD in profile, and those of the DOUBLE CONSONANTS the 
 profile of a perfect BUST, as I have already shown ; but, that the union of the characters 
 of the pREfosiTioNs, and TERMINATIONS, form the LEGS complete, as I shall presently 
 satisfactorily prove, 
 
23 
 
 It will, no doubt, be remembered, that this is not the first time mnemonics have been used 
 for impressing upon the mind more abstract ideas, and that, too, with singular success. Various 
 systems of artificial memory were made use of by the Greeks and Romans ; nor has it been 
 neglected in more modern times. Dr. GREY, the celebrated author of "The Memoria Tech. 
 nica, " GREGOR VON FEINAIGLE, with COGLAN, CROOK, JACKSON, and others, have applied 
 it with the happiest effect, even to some of the most abstract sciences. GREGOR VON 
 FEINAIGLE deserves to be particularly mentioned : he is the author of a most ingenious work 
 on this subject, in which he has given an abstract of all the mnemonical systems ancient and 
 modern, that could possibly be collected, and concludes with a development of his own 
 method, which is certainly in the highest degree ingenious ; and so effective in its practical 
 application, that in his public lectures on the subject, which "were delivered in almost all the 
 principal towns of England and Ireland, the greatest interest and astonishment were uni- 
 versally excited. Previously to his death, which took place a few years since, he founded a 
 college in Ireland, for teaching his system, which is still in a very flourishing condition, and 
 has amply realised his most sanguine expectations. It is a circumstance which cannot be 
 too generally known, that such has been the effect of his system upon the students, that, for 
 some years past, they have uniformly carried off most, if not all, the prizes in the higher de- 
 partments, given by the Belfast Institution. 
 
 As it is usual, for the reasons before stated, to make the double consonants when those 
 characters stand alone, the representatives of some peculiar words, the same course has been 
 pursued with respect to them, as was observed in the former case The words which I have 
 here chosen include all their TERMINATIONS in the same manner as those of the alphabet : 
 for instance, Bl /} means BKLIEVE, s, er, ers, ed, est, eth, ing, able. 
 
 Bl /) for believe and belong, too, mast stand, 
 Br ? shall both borrow and brother command ; 
 Ch /* will of charge and of character tell, 
 Fl ^s both for false and for fallow does well ; 
 GI \ records glad and denotes glory too, 
 Gr tr implies great and brings grief to your view; 
 Sh O both for shame and for short you must trace, 
 Str Q_ stands for strange and for strong in each case, 
 
 Tli the words think and thank will betoken, 
 
 Tr / is both trespass and trouble when spokeu. 
 
24 
 
 I shall now replace those curious preservers in front of the Captain's optics, that is, they 
 
 shall return to the place whence they came, there to hang by the nose till they are 
 
 but hold ! let me consider for a moment ; before I close this part of my lecture I have a few 
 remarks to make on the USE of SPECTACLES ; and, in order that I may see a vast distance 
 into this very abstruse subject, with some degree of distinctness, I will take the liberty of 
 looking through those vast circumferences which sometimes bestraddle the Captain's nose! 
 What man of an aspiring temper would not have an eye to those huge spectacles? Surely, 
 the possession of them must produce a whirlwind of thought that would transport one to the 
 regions of the truly sublime; (Puts on the Glastes.) 
 
 Not as a shiv'ring, wild Norwegian, 
 But, as a Cambridge Collegian, 
 I'll enter on the Logic classes, 
 Arm'd with these formidable glasses ; 
 The art of ratiocination, 
 I'll practise without hesitation; 
 And shew you here a thing or two, 
 ARCHIMEDES nor Etcuu knew; 
 Tlrit Lecturer must needs be wise, 
 "Who boasts a double pair of eyes".! 
 
 I must candidly confess that I find myself a mere speculator in the art of spectaclism, both as 
 it regards the choice of spectacles, and the various methods of wearing spectacles, when spec, 
 tacles are chosen and I might add, the reasons why spectacles are so variously worn ! With 
 regard to the choice of spectacles, 1 must confess that to a mere speculator like myself, it 
 would be a very speculative speculation ! 1 have known those speculators whose speculative 
 optics were fearfully penetrating, but who, from a wish to increase their powers of penetra- 
 tion from fashion bashfulness or some other cause, have speculated upon a pair of 
 spectacles, and have so be-specked their speculators, that they could neither see with their 
 spectacles nor without their spectacles ; and have, in consequence, become spectacles them- 
 selves, for speculative spectators to speculate upon ! I have seen green spectacles grey 
 spectacles red spectacles yellow spectacles blue spectacles brown spectacles and many 
 other coloured spectacles ! ! ! [ have seen spectacles before the eyes and spectacles at the 
 side of the eyes ! I have seen crap'd spectacles and spectacles so dense, that the wearer of 
 such spectacles (like blind BF.LLISARIUS) has been obliged to be led through the streets like 
 a public spectacle, and with his spectacles on ! How then should such a spectacle as I, in 
 spectacles dare to speculate upon spectacles I And with regard to the various methods of 
 wearing spectacles, when spectacles are chosen, I am equally unacquainted. I have seen some 
 spectacled speculators sport their spectacles at the extreme tip of the nose ; others, half way down 
 the nose ; and, some again, by the application of an extremely tight ligature, forcibly com- 
 press their spectacles against their eyebrows ! And, as for the reasons why spectacles are so 
 Tariously worn, what know I of a speculation so altogether speculative? For my own part, if 
 
25 
 
 I were to wear spectacles at the tip of my nose, it should be that I might, when at a loss for a 
 better subject, speculate upon spectacles! If I were to wear spectacles half way down my nose, 
 it should be that I might speculate upon spectators through my spectacles, and over my 
 spectacles, as the use of my spectacles, or the disuse of my spectacles was requisite ! And, if 
 (as in my own case) I had any remains of bashfulness about me, I should, for speculative 
 speculations speculate with my spectacles close up to my speculators t as the spectators now 
 see them ! ! ! 
 
 Thus spectacled I'd speculate through both my speculator!. 
 At spectacles the spectacled and all who are spectators! ! ! 
 
 Shame on my want of sensibility, to make a public spectacle of this renowned representa- 
 tive of HEROISM, before a large assembly of spectators, merely for the purpose of speculating 
 upon such a speculative speculation as a pair of SPECTACLES ! !! Dare I now venture within 
 reach of his inflammatory countenance to replace those huge circumferences of glass which 
 give a double penetration to his piercing optics ? 
 
 The second part I here shall end, 
 And, with your leave, I now intend 
 To quit this sapient son of fire ; 
 And shortly from the scene retire. 
 Returning by some whimsies led 
 I'll then display another head ! 
 
THE ANALYSIS OF THE CHAMPION OF SHORT HAND. 
 
 No novice he a friend to learning 
 To men of talent and discerning 
 He pleases all in bis Orations 
 When lecturing on Terminations. 
 
 PART III. 
 
 DOCTOR TERMINATION. 
 
 As we are now entering upon the last part of the lecture, perhaps it may be expected I 
 should say something of the origin and progress of the art of lecturing, and of the various pur. 
 poses to which lectures have been applied; but as that would exceed the limits of our time, 
 I shall only state that the custom of giving lectures came from the ancients JUNO, that 
 termagant of antiquity, being the first who ever gave her husband a lecture ; and which, from 
 the place where it was delivered, was called a " curtain lecture!'* And philosophers are of 
 opinion, that these "curtain lectures" are not yet entirely. out of fashion; but, be that as it 
 may, we shall proceed with our subject. 
 
 Having in the first part of this lecture spoken of WIGS, it may naturally be expected, be- 
 fore I close, I should say something of TORIES; but, as they appear to be a brace of amphi- 
 bious non-descripts, very difficult either to define, or to comprehend, I think we had better 
 not trouble ourselves any further about them. We have all heard of the song, called ''Four 
 and Twenty Perriwigs all on a Row," who disgraced the word perriwig to WIG, I must 
 confess my inability to state, but I have no doubt it was an ill-natured trick of the TORIES, to 
 endeavour to bring the WIGS into disgrace, by reducing perriwig to WIG, that the sameness of 
 
27 
 
 sound might cause the community to consider that the political term WIG, was, in fact an 
 adaption of the word wig for the sconce, by way of ridicule and metaphor, namely, to be 
 worn as a disguise. Indeed it appears that a foreigner once tumbled on this supposition, for 
 Louis XV. making the enquiry of the difference in the terms, WIG and TORY, was informed 
 by his minister, who had been in England, that the WIGS were TORIES when they were IN 
 administration, and the TORIES were WIGS when they were OUT. How near this was true, 
 the practice of the last half century will best explain ; I shall therefore leave all to enjoy 
 their own opinion on this extraneous subject, and to settle the affair with themselves. 
 
 In the first part of this lecture, we considered wigs lexionically ; in this part we shall 
 consider them physically ; or rather a physical wig not as it relates to the faculty, but only 
 with intent to show how some of the faculty treat our heads ! 
 
 Upstanding then before you, in all the sullen dignity of a sable, but expressive counten- 
 ance, behold that venerable personage DOCTOR TERMINATION hooded with a formidable 
 bush'y wig of vast circumference ! What a fine figure he would have made as Chief Justice 
 of the King's Bench. To say that the BIG WIG has not been much WORSE placed since the 
 days of JUDGE JEFFRIES is not to be endured. If we may judge from the assurance he 
 seems to possess, we may imagine he is not easily put out of countenance ! You see he t 
 not disagreeable to look at and I assure you he is not wanting in address ; so that he is in 
 general esteem among the ladies the women all call him " a nice man " ! 'Tis true they 
 sometimes complain that our frieml BOLUS has his little foibles as well as other folk that he 
 labours under some trifling defects which betoken human nature and imperfection. Those 
 who seem to know all about it, complain that his organs of melody are much too selfish and 
 contracted which renders his vocal powers (according to their idea of harmony) exceedingly 
 monotonous. Cuckoo like, they observe, he has but one dull doleful note ''linger 'em" 
 'linger 'em" "linger 'em;" and so he lingers 'em, a little longer yet a little longer, 
 until experiment or avarice frustrates his skill, and Death his sure ally shuts the scene! 
 The Doctor's features too (for you must know the ladies are very apt to quiz THOSE) oh, yes, 
 his features are a little out of what they esteem a fair proportion his BILL, to wit his BILL 
 aye, there's the rub! THIS say they, is LONGER than that of any SNIPE or WOODCOCK, 
 his Bill of FARE is like the "board of longitude'' 'tis longer than a Welsh pedigree, or 
 the tail of any paper kite !!! And, as for his organs of sight (but really who is there can 
 please everybody) they cunningly discover in his optic nerves much contrariety a strange 
 obliquity of vision a sort of gimlet eye that screws into your pocket! Like a French cook 
 with one eye up the chimney, and the other in the pot, he casts one eye yonder as if looking 
 out for preferment ; this, for distinction sake, they call his languishing eye ; while his pry-, 
 ing eye appears to them to be fixed downwards upon the FEE ; and thus, with looks demure, 
 they think he says, or seems to say, or at least they say for him ''The FEE ! the FEE ! ! the 
 FEE ! ! ! money money money reaping, my friends, is the universal harvest work of 
 our profession'' ! !! 
 
28 
 
 But really if we DISSECT the DOCTOR in this manner, before he's defunct, he'll some day 
 (out of revenge) DISSECT us and after all, who has such abundant right to reap this golden 
 harvest, as those who have the claim, power, and prerogative to pill, bolus, lotion and potion, 
 all persons, of all ages, and in all cases, whether they understand the disorder or not: and 
 to demand FEE and reward, as well as the privilege of never having their judgment called in 
 question, whether they KILL or CURE ! ! ! But to be serious 
 
 I perceive in the features of this great man, evident marks of severe thought, and of ex. 
 tensive medical research. A novice in the Esculapian art might read a course of lectures from 
 hit very eye brows, and be enabled to prescribe for the stomach ache, with all the confidence 
 of the great father of medicine ! 
 
 Sage master of the healing art, 
 Some useful lesson DOW impart: 
 Oh ! tell us how to fight with gout, 
 And kick the rheumatism out! 
 To quell the agonies of tooth-ache, 
 A perfect cure of mumps to make ; 
 Prepare a pill, roll out a plaster, 
 And make the languid pulse beat faster ! 
 Tell us, in short, distinct and full, 
 What lies beneath your sable skull, 
 Profound Physician, vast and big, 
 The wisdom that's within your wig ! 
 Yet, 'ere yon deign those things to teach, 
 With leave from you, I'll make a speech ! 
 No maiden one for well you know 
 It frequently hath happen'd so 
 Where "ere I roam'd, that you have been 
 Assistant at my lecturing ; 
 When, with delight, the Hst'ning crowd 
 PourM forth their plaudits long and load ; 
 Well pleas'd to hear, in those orations, 
 Of prepositions terminations 
 Of what their nature what their use 
 How much they both to speed conduce ; 
 And seen me prove 'ere I had done, 
 Your LEGS contain' d them, every one! 
 
 Let us now proceed to a practical demonstration of the Prepositions, or beginning of 
 words, and arrange them in such a manner as shall be perfectly intelligible to all around me. 
 
 The characters which denote the prepositions being of course the fore-runners of other 
 characters which make up the word, are all placed in the TORE-LEG, to show that in point of 
 order they are in advance, or BEFORE any other characters in the word. 
 
29 
 
 The rump, believe me, does infer 
 The PREPOSITIONS bar and bur. _J 
 
 A portion of the stomach, too, 
 Both Ian and Ion will bring to view c 
 
 The fore part of the thigh, as well, 
 Will dis and discon clearly tell. / 
 
 The back part I shall always choose, 
 When re.com or recon I use / 
 
 But from the knee, down to the foot, 
 The front line prac and proc will suit. I 
 
 While the big calf, so plump and fine, 
 For quar and quan shall be the sign. -^ 
 
 The graceful ancle, neatly made, 
 
 To temp and trans shall lend its aid ; 
 
 And the small foot, which all commend, 
 Will exter and extra attend. (/ 
 
 The sole I must likewise retain 
 
 When con and com I would explain ; - 
 
 Nor shall the heel neglected go, 
 When'er I write inter, intro } 
 
 This portion of the figure (which includes a part of the THIRD DIVISION of my system) is 
 intended to impress upon the memory the proper place or position of the prepositional characters, 
 which is ABOVE the line or regular course of writing. 
 
 Those who are unacquainted with the nature of short hand, may perhaps be surprised at 
 my using the alphabetical characters, to express the prepositions , and may suppose that by such 
 an arrangement, some confusion will arise in READING the short hand ; but a little explanation 
 will remove every appearance of ambiguity, and render both the writing and reading of it 
 perfectly easy and familiar. 
 
30 
 
 The alphabetical characters, when used to express the letters of the alphabet, are always 
 placed UPON the line or regular course of writing ; and when used as prepositions, they are 
 invariably written ABOVE it. So that the mere difference in point of place, produces all the 
 effects of diversity of character and renders them perfectly intelligible. Besides which, the 
 change of position has this important advantage it supersedes the necessity of introducing 
 additional characters an arrangement to which other writers on the subject have been 
 obliged to have recourse ; and which tends so much to burden the memory of the learner, 
 and paralize his efforts, in the attainment of this highly useful and interesting art. 
 
 I shall now explain the use of the Terminations or ENDINGS of words. The marks which 
 represent these, come LAST in the order of writing in those words where they are made use 
 of; and are therefore placed in the HINDMOST leg, to denote that they come AFTER the preposi- 
 tional marks, and in the rear of all other characters used in the word. 
 
 The leg and thigh, inside, shall rule 
 The TERMINATIONS form and full; \ 
 
 The outside, I must not forget, 
 For self and also seltes to set. \ 
 
 The fore part of the foot, you see, 
 Shall claim and cation always be j f 
 
 The other portion, you must know, 
 On ward and warded I bestow. V 
 
 The trousers' terminating line, 
 Torguish and ject shall he the sign. c 
 
 The heel, below, may surely claim 
 Shon, ashon, oshon, ushon's name ; \^ 
 
 And the joint mark, indented deep, 
 
 And curv'd, both mand and ment shall keep r\ 
 
 While lines and shades around combine, 
 Ship, scribe, soever, to define ; O 
 
 Which renders all both plain and terse, 
 Without the further aid of verse. 
 
 ii nn atfcn/ PC 
 
31 
 
 Thus, you perceive, I have given a tolerable outline of the human understandings, which 
 complete the FIGURE and I presume the imitation is somewhat striking. Now, let any pupil 
 (however treacherous his memory) sketch this figure, with the use of my Short.hand characters, 
 or TRACE it over several times, and it will be next to impossible for him not to remember 
 them with facility, and to retain them in memory through life. Scarcely can you come 
 in contact with any person, but his FIGURE will remind you of Short-hand, and bring to your 
 recollection the various characters of the system. Every human being you see will furnish 
 you with a repetition of your lessons, until they become so indelibly fixed in the mind, that 
 a person would ds likely forget his own name, as he would forget any part of the system. 
 
 THE VOWELS. 
 
 My method of expressing the VOWELS is upon a plan different to that pursued by other 
 Teachers ; and, as I have a distinct mark for each vowel, any word in the English language, 
 including NAMES of persons, places, and TECHNICAL TERMS may with the aid of these be 
 expressed, without the least danger of misapprehension. 
 
 I'll sketch these marks npoii the dress, 
 They'll form the button-holes I guess ; 
 Here's vowel a s which means an, and, 
 
 Here's e / which for he, tlie, shall stand ; 
 Here's i 3 which does my, may, confesss, 
 Here's o which will no, so, express : 
 Here's u - which must you, your, denote, 
 And these are all we have to quote. 
 
32 
 THE SHORT HAND NOTATION OR FIGURES;- 
 
 Is the next object which falls under our consideration the knowledge of which will not 
 only enable a person to make any numerical calculations with greater rapidity than by the use of 
 the common figures, but will also enable him to do it, surrounded by spectators, without being 
 understood an advantage by no means inconsiderable to the man of business. These figures may 
 readily be committed to memory, when I have shewn, as I shall do first that they are parts o/, 
 or bear some similarity to the common figures; whilst, at the same time, they UNITE in the most 
 easy and rapid manner, and may be written singly or combined^ being equally distinct and legible 
 in either case. I shall first put down my short hand figures, in regular rotation ; they are as 
 follows j 
 
 I shall now show their connection with the common figures, by changing them into those very 
 identical figures : 
 
 6 
 
 The short hand figures are to be placed UPON the line or course of writing, and are distinguished 
 from the alphabetical characters by this mark " placed underneath them. 
 
 Example: 54.389 f _ 
 All the figures united : 
 
 THE SIXTH LESSON. 
 
 Introduces the learner to the PRACTICAL part of short hand, and exercises him in the various 
 lessons he has previously studied as preparative to that object. And, here it will be necessary, at 
 the outset, for the learner to be as exact as possible in the form, size, and position of every 
 character as his first object should be CORRECTNESS rather than RAPIDITY he should imitate 
 in every respect those in the lessons. The PEN should be held nearly perpendicular; the 
 characters written very lightly, for the sake of neatness and despatch ; and each WORD must be 
 completely finished, so far as respects the consonants, before the pen be taken off the paper. 
 VERSE of any description, or such easy subjects as the pupil is very familiar with, are the most suit- 
 able for his first experiments in writing ; for it will initiate him in the READING at the same time. 
 
 In the practice of short hand, very little attention is paid to the common perplexing and 
 circuitous orthography ; the writer must attend only to the SOUND of words, and put no 
 more letters in each word than are just necessary to give the SOUND thereof. As there are 
 
33 
 
 but few words in the English language which the consonants will not fully express, the 
 VOWELS are very rarely made use of in swift writing words being for the most part written 
 by the consonant characters only, which is the plan pursued by all short hand writers. When 
 the vowel marks are used, however, they are placed about the consonant characters, just at 
 the place where they have been omitted. As I have a distinct mark for each vowel, every 
 word may be rendered, by the use of them, quite as intelligible as common print, as will be 
 seen by the following examples, written according to the usual orthography. 
 
 Amongst a \ m rt o , nwg so t _ 
 
 Enmity e / nwmO i a t _ y } 
 
 Intend i 3 n w t e s n w d / 
 
 Obstinate o. b ^ s Q * i> n ^ ax t e/ 
 
 Utmost u_ t m/^ o. s O t _ 
 
 Youthful y ;> o. u_t__h f \ u . 1 C 
 
 When the pupil has sufficiently practised the alphabetical characters, by writing them 
 SINGLY, and can readily unite them into words ; he may make use of the double consonants, 
 and learn to combine those marks properly, whenever they occur in the short hand orthography, 
 with such of the alphabetical characters as may happen either to precede, or to succeed 
 them in the course of writing. I will give a few practical examples, both by the alphabetical 
 characters, and those of the double consonants. 
 
 Birth b ^ r / t _ h <= 
 
 Torture t r / t r / 
 
 Strength so t r/ n ^ t_ he- 
 
 Graceful g c r / s O f \ 1 C c /* 
 
 Garnish g c r / n \^j s O h < 
 
 Tremble t_ r/ m/^ b.y 1C 
 
34 
 
 I will give a few examples of the use of the PREPOSITIONAL characters, in the following 
 words, viz : transport, recommend, interested. 
 
 T placed ABOVE the line, stands for the preposition trans; the remaining part is 
 
 finished with the three consonant characters p \ r / t placed underneath the preposition, 
 
 trans 
 
 and UPON the line of writing, thus J/~" frans-port. 
 
 R / placed ABOVE the lineisrecom; the remaining part n ^ d / is written under- 
 
 recom 
 neath the preposition, thus y recom-mend. 
 
 Y ) placed ABOVE the line is inter, the other letters s t d / are written 
 
 inter 
 underneath it, thus znter.ested. 
 
 The TERMINATIONAL marks, instead of being written singly or disjoined, areiuvariably 
 UNITED to the character immediately preceding them in each word of which they form a 
 part; and in order to distinguish them a small TICK is added, similar to that placed on the 
 AUXILIARY characters in the alphabet, and the double consonants. I will give a few examples of 
 the use of the terminational marks. 
 
 G c with the addition of a TICK signifies guish < t so that n ^j and c _ 
 JOINED to it, and TICK'D thus t ^ f represents an-guish. 
 
 D / expresses de, to which UNITE the letter m r\ with a TICK for mand A thus 
 d mand 
 
 /^ de-mand. 
 
 R / denotes re, to which add w V^ with a TICK for warded ; and these being 
 
 r warded 
 joined together thus /\^_ clearly express the word /v<_ re-warded. 
 
 The AUXILIARY characters, which are made use of throughout the system, form the most 
 important feature of improvement in the art. These auxiliary or TICK'D characters give 
 great speed to the writer they are, as it were the WINGS of the stenographic art, and frequently 
 express whole words, and sentences of the most common occurrence, without burdening the 
 memory ! The TICK renders them totally distinct from all other characters. 
 
35 
 
 If any man, henceforth, asserts, 
 
 That short hand puzzles, not diverts 
 
 I shall affirm 'tis not a fact 
 
 But only mentioned to detract: 
 
 Twill not be hard to demonstrate, 
 
 That short band marks, which blockheads hate, 
 
 Can, by my plan, indelibly 
 
 Be firmly fixed in memory! 
 
 When 'ere the human frame you view, 
 
 You see my short hand system too : 
 
 A lady, in her lover's eye, 
 
 May m r\ and n ^ and > o descry 
 
 Whilst he, upon her rosy cheek 
 
 The letter r / must always seek. 
 
 But, should you view tbe human ear, 
 
 The letter x / will then appear ; 
 
 If any man but touch his lip, 
 
 The j c and h c can never slip ; 
 
 And letter d / will interpose, 
 When'ere he chance lo rub his nose! 
 Should yon think fit to strike a blow, 
 
 'Tis done with str Q yon know; 
 
 Or if you be yourself knock'd down 
 With a clench'd fist upon the crown ; 
 The fist sh will clearly tell, 
 And fe /^~ the place on which it fell ! 
 Thus every child can learn my rules 
 Without the wisdom of the schools! 
 
 y Q y 
 
 - o' > 9 
 
 S: ' _L 
 
 \ - J > 
 
 This HEAD of venerable CRANIO 
 Bleach'd like a pyramid of SNOW; 
 Shall be remov'd out of your sight, 
 Until we meet another night ! 
 
 And the dread Captain CONSONANT 
 So fiery, fierce, and complaisant 
 His mtiLLiANT BUST I'll [Hit aside 
 And in the shades his BODY hide. ! 
 
 Lastly, comes Doctor TERMINATION 
 And as we've heard his dissertation ; 
 His LEGS .-hall shift their SABLE FIGURE, 
 While I some graver thoughts deliver ) 
 
36 
 
 CONCLUSION. 
 
 The art of Short-hand writing is now extending with such rapidity through all classes 
 of society ; and is becoming so general in schools of every description, that I shall perhaps 
 be readily excused if I take the opportunity afforded me, by the present Lecture, to make 
 a few remarks upon the subject, suggested by long observation and experience. My system 
 having now reached the Sixty-third Edition, and a circulation of more than 40,000 copies. 
 Having passed the repeated ordeal of criticism, and obtained the approbation of the profession, 
 with triumphant success. Having been so generally adopted, not only in this country, but 
 on the Continent of Europe, and in the United States of America ; it would perhaps be deemed 
 no less invidious to enter into a detailed comparison of it with the few fair models that have 
 accidentally started into existence, than it would be useless to notice any of those numerous 
 works on the art, which from time to time have been ushered into the world with the loftiest 
 pretensions, under the form of cheap and easy introductions to Short-hand, though in reality 
 written only to perplex and confound. The authors of which had neither the talent to imitate, 
 nor the genius to improve those systems ; but have given to the world a heap of rubbish, 
 (the offspring of ignorance and inexperience) which has both incumbered and degraded an art 
 that would otherwise have excited universal attention. 
 
 Should the present Lecture have afforded you any gratification, or excited any degree of 
 interest in the subject I have been treating upon, it will give me great satisfaction. My leading 
 object has been to render an art hitherto considered difficult of attainment, in the highest degree 
 interesting and amusing. It is true I have not in this Lecture developed the minute particulars 
 of my system, but have merely exhibited the general principles upon which it is founded. The 
 plan I have pursued in teaching the Stenographic Art has been attended with extraordinary 
 success ; and has produced those feelings of pleasure and delight, in the practice of it, which 
 cannot possibly be excited by the most popular systems of the present day. 
 
 By a perfectly original arrangement, aided by hieroglyphics and versification, I have 
 rendered the rules so imposing, that they cannot fail to produce an indelible impression upon 
 the most treacherous memory. The facility with which some of my pupils write it, is in the 
 highest degree pleasing. I have in my possession the Bible and Testament, the Psalms, the 
 Church of England Service, the Hymns of Doctor Watts, and a great variety of other Stenographic 
 curiosities, most beautifully written by my pupils: and, likewise, more than nine hundred 
 sermons, taken down within the last three years by them, verbatim, from the lips of our most 
 celebrated preachers. 
 
37 
 
 During my stay in Edinburgh, Aberdeen, and Glasgow, as well as in all the principal towns 
 in England, I have had the honour of instructing many LADIES of the highest respectability, 
 who made astonishing proficiency in this interesting art, and who expressed their surprise and 
 delight at the agreeable novelty of my peculiar mode of teaching. I have likewise the greatest 
 pleasure in stating, that it has been approved of and sanctioned by men of the highest 
 literary fame, 
 
 I have no hesitation in saying that the period is not far distant when ignorance of the 
 Stenographic art will be considered as a DEFECT in education. It has been the subject of 
 repeated eulogy by the greatest orators and poets of the present day ; men who know the 
 power which it possesses, and the beneficial influence it is capable of extending over the 
 country. 
 
 The author of " The Pleasures of Hope," in some suggestions which he has published 
 respecting the plan of the College in London, says : " During the earlier course of college 
 study, I should exhort all young men to learn that most useful art, Short-hand writing, an art 
 which, I believe, will one day be studied as universally as common writing, and which will 
 abridge the labour of penmanship to a degree that will materially quicken the intercourse of 
 human thought." 
 
 Er'e each succeeding thought can utt'rance have 
 Attention waits ; and er'e the fleeting breath 
 Dissolves in air, the ready pen hath caught 
 The sound and sav'd it from oblivion. 
 
 The indispensible necessity of Short-hand to persons in almost every department, whether 
 public or private, is generally understood ; the utility of the art is too obvious therefore to need 
 any comment ; the speeches of a Chatham, a Fox, or an Erskine the observations of a Johnson ; 
 and some of the most celebrated trials, must have been for ever sunk in oblivion, had not Short- 
 hand writing been brought into practice. But for this Divine invention the orations of our most 
 instructive and polished orators, lecturers, and statesmen, had perished with the breath that 
 uttered them, and those who were the ravished auditors of such transcendent efforts ; though they 
 felt the impressions, could never have communicated them. 
 
 And here let me dwell with admiration on its advantages when brought to the important 
 subject of our immortal welfare : With what increasing emotions of enthusiastic delight have I 
 listened to the masterly appeals of a RAFFLES, a PARSONS, a HALL, or a CHALMERS, when I have 
 seen their sentences committed to paper, as they fell from the lips of those celebrated men. The 
 effulgence of light, bursting from such learned individuals, and throwing the lustre and brightness 
 of the resplendent rays of wisdom over the dark clouds of ignorance and prejudice, must give 
 additional energy to piety, and impart new life and vigour to the intellectual faculties. 
 
 452130 
 
38 
 
 What can have a greater tendency to raise the mind of the man, or the moralist, from 
 grovelling sentiments, than a beautiful discourse, founded on truly Christian principles, arrested 
 on its wings of fire, by the pen of the READY WRITER, and rendered permanent for his daily 
 perusal and the improvement of his mental powers ? 
 
 The advantages of Short-hand, in the SENATE and at the BAR, are so numerous and con- 
 spicuous, that language must fail in the description the speech of a wise and eloquent senator is 
 read with avidity and delight by all ranks ; every one is lavish in its praise, and the abilities 
 of the speaker re-echo from the statesman to the peasant, until his talents become the theme of 
 every nation, and the effects of his transcendant genius are felt from pole to pole ! 
 
 In those highly respectable gentlemen, lt The Reporters," we have, therefore, the best 
 practical panegyric on the art of Short-hand ; and I cannot advert to them without the mingled 
 feelings of exultation and gratitude. Though their influence has at all times been powerfully felt, 
 it is but recently that they have received those marks of public recognition and respect to which 
 they have ever been entitled. Were the operations of those who are professionally engaged in 
 exercising this art, to be suspended but for a single week, a blank would be left in the political 
 and j udicial history of our country ; an impulse would be wanting to the public mind ; and the 
 nation would be taught to feel and acknowledge the important purposes it answers in the 
 great business of life. 
 
 The combination of talent observable in the public journals must have struck every 
 individual, not only in this country but in the whole civilized world, with astonishment and 
 pleasure. Long may those public benefactors enjoy the laurels of their well-earned fame, and 
 rise still higher in the scale of intellectual dignity. 1 never contemplate the talents of these 
 gentlemen without feelings of peculiar pleasure, nor scan the labours of some of them without 
 adding to my debt of gratitude ; and should my readers feel but a small portion of the interest 
 which I must confess I feel on this subject, the following observations on the system of 
 " REPORTING" which has lately grown up, and is at the present moment producing the most 
 beneficial results, will be received with equal approbation and pleasure. 
 
 The most interesting feature in the details of a metropolitan newspaper establishment, is 
 the management of the intellectual department ; consisting, first, of the selection of miscellaneous 
 information; second, the editorial or " leading article" writing ; third, the original criticism; 
 and fourth, " REPORTING." 
 
 The selecting and abridging of miscellaneous matter from other papers, is the duty of 
 the sub-editor, whose labours (in a morning paper) commence about the middle of the day. 
 He first of all arranges for the printer the original communications which the editor has 
 read and approved of, and revises any casual reports that may have been sent for insertion. 
 He next makes his selections from the provincial papers as they come in, and lastly from the 
 London evening papers when published. This duty, which it is customary to brand with 
 
39 
 
 the ignominious epithet of " paste-and-scissors work," is at once one of the most responsible, 
 laboripus and important departments of a newspaper, and one upon which its character and 
 prosperity perhaps depends fully as much, if not more, than on its original writing. This is 
 more especially the case with those prints which aim at being what is called ' family news- 
 papers." The sub-editor also writes original paragraphs ou any subject of public interest 
 which falls under his notice; and he continues at his task, revising and selecting reports and 
 communications as they arrive, until the paper goes to press, which may be at one, two, 
 three, or four o'clock in the morning. 
 
 The principal editor's regular duty commences with the publication of the evening papers, 
 the leading articles of which he examines, for the purpose of noticing, if necessary, either in 
 the way of opposition or corroboration. The foreign papers are his next subject of consi- 
 deration and comment : and as these continue to arrive at all hours of the night, he is 
 obliged to remain at his post, ready to discuss, or point out to the public, whatever of 
 importance they contain the sub-editor assisting him in translating such extracts as he may 
 select. When Parliament is sitting, his chief attention is of course directed to the discussions, 
 the reports of which he peruses as they come in, and comments on at more or less length 
 as he sees occasion ; and the wonderful aptitude and readiness of talent required for this 
 task may be easily judged of by the fact of a long and able article frequently appearing 
 in the morning's publication, on some difficult and intricate point of foreign or domestic 
 policy, perhaps elicited by the remarks of some member, whose speech, delivered at two or 
 three o'clock in the morning, is given at full length in the neighbouring columns. It is 
 no unusual thing, indeed, to find the debates of a whole evening acutely analysed in this 
 impromptuous manner. 
 
 But of all the departments of a morning paper, the "REPORTING" of the Parliamentary Debates 
 is the most extraordinary. The first attempt at giving on the succeeding day, a report of the 
 debates of the preceding evening, was made by William Woodfall, (younger brother of Henry 
 Sampson Woodfall, of Junius notoriety,) who, about the year 1780, was engaged by the pro- 
 prietors of the Morning Chronicle, then newly started, to conduct as well as print that paper. 
 Previous to that time, weeks generally elapsed before any report of the Parliamentary debates 
 appeared in print, and then very crude and imperfect. Mr. Woodfall took the arduous task 
 solely on his own shoulders, and, what was still more astonishing, he reported solely from memory. 
 Without taking a note to assist his recollection, or even the use of an amanuensis to abridge his 
 labour, he has been known to write sixteen columns of print, after having sat in a crowded gallery for 
 as many hours, without an interval of rest. So great was his fame, that on one occasion, when sent 
 over to Dublin to report some important debates, he was followed through the streets by crowds 
 who regarded him as a man endowed with superhuman powers. In 1789, Mr. Woodfall started a 
 paper of his own, when the Chronicle was purchased by the late Mr. Perry, in conjunction with 
 
40 
 
 another gentleman, the latter of whom soon afterwards dying, Mr. Perry became sole proprietor 
 and editor, and continued to be so until his death in 1821. Previous to this, Mr. Perry had 
 edited the Gazetteer, a paper belonging to the principal booksellers in London ; and it was -while 
 so engaged that his well-known debut as a Parliamentary reporter took place. 
 
 Some accident happened to throw him out at the very commencement of a debate, and he could 
 not recover himself the whole night again. He returned to his office in despair, but having been 
 prevailed upon to sit down at the desk, the sluices of his memory, (which was a prodigious one,) were 
 opened, and he wrote as much as Avould have nearly filled the whole paper with a verbatim account 
 of a single speech. His employer told him that this would never do, and that he must merely give 
 a general and historical account of what passed; which Mr. Perry, inexpressibly relieved, forth, 
 with executed ; and it was observed that he preferred the historical mode of reporting ever 
 afterwards. It was after this that he conceived the plan, which, upon getting the Chronicle, he 
 put in practice with such success, of employing a succession of Reporters in the same evening a 
 plan which has since been followed up and improved upon to so much perfection. The present 
 system of Parliamentary reporting may be described as follows : At the commencement of the 
 session, each daily paper engages a corps of from ten to fourteen reporters more or less, accord, 
 ing to its means and status. These gentlemen arrange amongst themselves the rotation of their 
 attendance at the two Houses of Parliament, where they go by turns, one at a time. A reporter 
 of any of the leading papers seldom remains longer than an hour at a time, or shorter than three 
 quarters of an hour. If the speech be an eloquent one, and delivered with even a moderate degree 
 of rapidity, the quantity of notes which may betaken during three-quarters of an hour, will extend, 
 when written out, from one column to two of the smallest print, in one of the largest sized news- 
 papers ; and as it sometimes happens that the same individual has to attend twice during a debate, 
 it is possible that one reporter may write as much in the course of one night, as may form a 
 pamphlet of three or four sheets octavo. The reporter, when relieved, first arranges his notes in 
 a small room in the lobby of the house appropriated for the purpose, and then hurries off to the 
 office to which he belongs, where he extends them. The manner in which this is done is as follows : 
 In the apartment and it is sometimes neither a very large nor a very wholesome one it may 
 happen that there are ten or twelve individuals all writing at the same instant, and so mingling 
 their voices in jokes, tales, enquiries after quotations, and so breaking the eloquence with pauses 
 for tankards of ale, basins of tea, mutton chops, and German sausages, and all other materials 
 for supporting and strengthening the carnal man, that it would puzzle all the conjurors in the 
 world, except those conjurors, at the waving of whose wands, the printed eloquence makes its 
 appearance, to find out how any work of any kind could be done amid a confusion of sound, 
 and of circumstances so perfectly Babylonian. But notwithstanding all the wit, all the ribal- 
 dry, and all the replenishing which the exhaustion of such steam engine-like labour requires, 
 each of them contrives, at the end of every minute or two, to toss from him a slip of paper, 
 so carefully written, that it requires no future correction, and so close to the subject, that he of 
 whose speech it forms a part, has no disposition to quarrel with it. 
 
41 
 
 The only regular reporters employed in the galleries of the two Houses of Parliament, 
 were formerly attached to the Morning Papers. To these individuals, the Evening Journals 
 and the public at large, were indebted for their acquaintance with the speeches both of the 
 Lords and Commons ; but the case is now different, and all the daily papers in the metropolis, 
 employ their own reporters. To report every word that is said, even by a single speaker, except 
 on a very particular occasion, would occupy far too -much space in a newspaper. Besides, 
 were a speech written out and printed with all the redundancies and repetitions in which most 
 speakers abound, the production would appear rather ludicrous than instructive in the eyes of the 
 public, and of course be any thing but satisfactory to the orator himself. It is clear then, that a 
 large discretion must be allowed to a reporter. He must not takedown all that any speaker says, 
 nor does he attempt to do so ; some he reports, some he does not report at all ; some he curtails, 
 putting in a few lines the speech of half an hour ; some he gives at greater length ; but in all 
 cases he abridges and alters ; for he does not put down verbatim what the Member utters, 
 but catches the general sentiment, which, in the case of a leading speaker, he expresses 
 nearly in his words ; in the case of an inferior speaker, in words of his own. Such is 
 the case with the reporters, whether they belong to wig or tory newspapers, to the Times, 
 the Chronicle, or the Morning Post : they differ according to the politics of their respective 
 newspapers, in reporting at greater or less length, the speeches of the leading wbigs or tories ; but 
 in other respects they all agree and act in concert ; they have thus, as it is clear, an absolute dis- 
 cretion, and they use it to a great extent. Canning is said to have been the favorite of his time 
 among the reporters ; for although he spoke with great fluency, the lucidus or do of his arguments, 
 his correct style, his nicely balanced sentences, and clear and silvery voice rendered it easy to 
 follow him. Sir James Mackintosh and Mr. Brougham, on the other hand, were their great 
 bugbears, the former from the rapidity of his utterance, and the latter from his quaint phraseology, 
 and the interminable and parenthetical involution of his sentences, generally placing the verb at 
 so great a distance from the noun with which it agrees, that the connection in the notes of the 
 reporter was irremediably broken. Besides the Parliamentary reporting, there is likewise that of 
 the Law courts, which is generally done by the same individuals, although some of the first-rate 
 papers have gentlemen engaged for the specific purpose. 
 
 In a profession of so much importance, it is very obvious the character of the reporters becomes 
 a matter of the greatest moment. Of the talent of those employed, there is no reason to complain, 
 all of them are men of talent, information, and superior education, most of them gentlemen in 
 conduct as well as by birth. Many of the most eminent men in the country, indeed, commenced 
 their career in this occupation. That reporters are necessarily men of no ordinary education, 
 intelligence, and capacity, will be evident to every one who looks to their reports of speeches, in 
 which quotations from the classic authors, ''ends of verse and sayings of philosophers," of all 
 ages, and in all languages, are frequently introduced ; and the remuneration they receive for 
 their service bespeaks an opinion of their aptitude for the duties of their vocation. 
 
 The gentlemen engaged in collecting intelligence for the daily press of London alone, are 
 estimated at more than 100, including the morning and evening journals ; beside these, there are 
 other gentlemen, to a considerable amount, connected with the weekly journals, and with papers 
 
 P 
 
42 
 
 published either twice or thrice a week. The estimated sum annually received by the literary 
 gentlemen connected with the London journals aloiie, exceeds 50,000. 
 
 The reporters are nearly all of them Irish, and the cause of it arises from this circumstance: 
 many of the young men, who have been educated at the Dublin University, and are preparing to 
 be called to the bar, are compelled, while keeping their terms in London, to live by their wits, for 
 want of other means of subsistence. Having once turned their attention to Parliametary reporting, 
 and found it a certain and profitable source of employment, the Irish succession has been kept up 
 by the new-made barrister, introducing a needy brother into the reporter's corps. 
 
 The mighty influence of the Parliamentary reporters is not only acknowledged by the commu- 
 nity, but is felt by every member of the legislative body ; and woe be to him on whom the curse 
 of the reporters falls, their malison pursues him, session after session; and, whatever be his 
 talents, whatever his zeal, whatever weight in his sentiments, and however great their impression 
 on the House, the public hear but little of them, very little of his speeches is ever recorded. 
 The late MR. WINDHAM held some paradoxical views as to the press, and was very much 
 opposed to the freedom of reporting; these, erroneous though they were, were generally 
 interesting, from his peculiar talent and originality; and the house, even while it did not 
 agree with him, eagerly listened to him. The reporters, however, very wisely thought other- 
 wise; they were of opinion that such monstrous sentiments could not be too soon stifled, 
 and MR. WINDHAM'S speeches underwent in consequence, the most barbarous mutilation; they 
 were, until towards the close of his political career, merely fragments of speeches. MR. 
 TIERNEY, on one occasion, expressed himself with hostility to the press : he was deservedly 
 put under the ban of the reporters, and for years they combined, and did not report him. 
 The same controul would be exercised now, and exercised most judiciously. Should any member 
 choose to expose a weak head and bad heart, and lower the character of the House, by an 
 exaggerated tirade against the liberty of the press, if they could omit the allusion to it, they 
 would, if that should be impossible, in pity to the knave, they would travesty and caricature his 
 sentiments; or so clipp and mutilate them, as to be altogether unintelligible. 
 
 So long as a Member touches upon the ordinary topics of debate, he stands as good a chance 
 as his neighbours of being fairly and accurately reported ; but if he introduces into them any 
 sentiment which is not agreeable to the views of the reporters, as identified with the interest of the 
 people; for instance, if any truckling, dunderheaded, assassin-like Legislator, (none of whom 
 we trust are to be found in the present Parliament,) should attempt a deadly blow at the vital 
 organs of liberty, and basely subvert the very principles of independence, by his advocacy of 
 restrictions on the PRESS ; that sentiment would, most likely, never reach the public eye ; the 
 reporters would very wisely strangle the viperous villany at its birth ! And perhaps in these 
 eventful times, the period is not far distant when a more effectual course will be pursued, when 
 salutary restrictions will be laid, if not on the mental and intellectual qualifications of Legislators, 
 at least on their capability of political folly and wickedness. Who can tell but an act of 
 Parliament may not ere long receive the royal assent, enacting that if any member be either 
 
incapable or unwilling, or both, to behave himself with gentlemanly propriety, and to respect the 
 rights and liberty of his fellow countrymen ; then, and in every such case, it shall be lawful for 
 any one or more of the reporters, (acting for the good of the people,) to apply his or their loot 
 or feet, as the case may be, to that part of the body which lies equi-distant from the head and 
 the combative organ, and to kick him beyond the ''precincts of the Parliament" ! ! ! 
 
 It only remains for me to notice two other remarkable features in the getting up of the 
 London daily newspapers ; this is the employment of expresses, in getting early intelligence 
 of any remarkable or important public occurrence, which has taken place either at home, or 
 on the Continent. It is no uncommon thing for the London papers to contain the speech of 
 the King of France, twenty-four hours after it has been delivered. During the invasion of Spain 
 by the French, an evening daily newspaper regularly employed couriers from Paris, who 
 visually arrived within the twenty-four hours ; and, it is said, that during the late contest in 
 Portugal, some of the newspapers employed fast-sailing vessels for the sole purpose of bringing 
 speedy intelligence of the progress of events. During war abroad, agents are generally employed 
 at all the ports on the coast at which news from the seat of strife are likely to arrive ; and 
 a remarkable instance is recorded of the rapidity with which information by this means is 
 sometimes obtained. During the civil war in South America, a vessel arrived off Liverpool 
 with accounts of a decisive battle being fought between the royalists and patriots. As soon as 
 the vessel was signalized, a boat was sent off by the Agent, and the papers were landed and 
 sent by express to London, where they arrived at half-past one o'clock on the following day. 
 When the person to whom they had been forwarded in the city, had made his own use of the 
 contents in the money market, they were given by way of favor to the correspondent of an 
 evening paper, and at half-past three o'clock the owner of them had a copy of the paper in 
 the city, containing a translation from the papers which he had supplied. In less than a quarter 
 of an hour, the person who had brought them from Liverpool to London, was sent back to 
 Liverpool with a copy of the London paper, and on the following day at twelve o'clock, the 
 Agent in Liverpool had received it. As the wind had, in the mean time, been unfavorable for 
 the vessel which had arrived with the news from South America to enter the port, and no 
 communication had taken place with the shore, the first knowledge which the inhabitants of 
 Liverpool had of the battle was derived from the London paper, which was laid upon the table of 
 the reading room one hour before the vessel entered the port! 
 
 In the ''Oxford Herald" of the 26th of March, 1831, there is a report of the division on the 
 ''Reform Bill" and the Editor of that paper observes ; "The following is so very extraordinary, 
 so much apparently beyond the power of man, that we are unable to describe the means by which 
 it was effected. The short-hand writer of l 'the Courier" was in the House of Commons until 
 the division took place at four o'clock on Wednesday morning. The speeches were printed, 
 thousands of copies of the paper were worked off, and one of the Editors came to our office with 
 150 for this city at ten o'clock the same morning ! That so much should be done, and so 
 many miles travelled in six hours, is really little short of a miracle! 
 
44 
 
 Scarcely less incredible is the expedition with which expresses, bearing reports of important 
 proceedings in any part of the Kingdom, are conveyed to London. One of the latest and 
 previously unparralled instances of this exertion was on the occasion of Earl Grey's dinner at 
 Edinburgh, in September, 1834, when an account of the proceedings up to between eleven and 
 twelve o'clock on the Monday night, appeared in the London Times of the Wednesday morn- 
 ing following. Four or five reporters were in attendance, who, after taking down notes for 
 a certain length of time, got into a post-chaise, and, with lights and a desk inside, extended 
 their notes at leisure, and reached London in thirty hours. We see it since stated that even 
 greater expedition was used by the reporters of the same paper upon the occasion of 
 Lord Durham's dinner at Glasgow, on (he 29th. of October, 1834. 
 
, 
 
LEWIS'S CELEBRATED PORTRAIT OF SHORT HAND 
 
 To attain this nol>l<- ; ii1 
 Xatiur (tors lirr ail nii|uti1 
 All you Irani is IHMV <Miil>i?r<l 
 Every .MAKK niav INMV l>r 
 
 11 
 
 guisn \ 
 
 Eveiy Character in this System will be fonnd in iho Hunian Fiu 
 
Say would you gain < gj Ready writer's speed, 
 
 And when you've written, with much pleasure read, 
 What from a speaker, of a fertile mind 
 And rapid utt'rance in your NOTES you bind? 
 You'll find, of every method yet compos'd, 
 
 mttheLEWISIAN SYSTEM, **** 
 
 Will please you best your ardent hopes repay, 
 And all that's SWIFT and LEGIBLE display! 
 
 View in these pages like a mirror bright, 
 
 That art Divine, now bursting on your sight 
 
 In charms like those \j ^f peerless beauty's smile 
 
 That win the heart it seeks not to beguile! 
 See in this book the wond'rous plan reveal'd, 
 Which heav'n from mortals hath till now conceal'd! 
 Trace in each page the ready writer's mind, 
 
 'Tis HERE his SHORT HAND secrets are defin ' d 
 
 Why seek, in other systems, with such pains, 
 
 The matchless property that THIS contains 
 
 And THIS ALONE? In vain you may pursue, 
 
 With lengthened toil and ardent study too, 
 The noble art of writing swift as speech, 
 
 And all the pleasures of its aid to reach; 
 
 For waste of time, and disappointment's sting, 
 The practice of imperfect schemes will bring! 
 
 This hook was compos'd by JAMES HENRY LEWIS, 
 Whose plan, as you'll see, most perfectly new is ; 
 'Tis arranged in a manner both plain and terse, 
 And the whole of the system is written in verse ; 
 For the use of his PUPILS, for them 'twas compos'd, 
 And only to THEM are its secrets disclosed. 
 
 Tis Enter'd at Stationer's Hall, you'll see, 
 Which has render'd the work secure to me. 
 
 This is the date I have resolv'd to affix, 
 Wednesday, July the Twelfth, Eighteen Twenty six. 
 
 The price of this book is Nineteen and Sixpence, 
 Which of course must be paid in the PRESENT TFNSB. 
 
One secret in this Noble ait, 
 
 I now shall hasten to impart; 
 
 Which, when divulged, with perfect ease, 
 
 You'll write down any word you please. 
 
 THE 
 
 SHORT HAND ALPHABET, 
 
 AN AUXILIARIES, 
 
 WITH THE fFORDS THOSE CHARACTERS REPRESENT. 
 
 Words expressed by the 
 Alphabetical Characters. 
 
 Alphabetical 
 Characters. 
 
 \ 
 
 r 
 C 
 
 Letters. 
 
 Auxiliary 
 Characteis. 
 
 B 
 D 
 
 F andV 
 G and J 
 
 H 
 K & C hard 
 
 L 
 
 M 
 
 N 
 
 P 
 
 Qu 
 
 R 
 S & C soft 
 
 and Z 
 
 T 
 W 
 X 
 Y 
 
 r 
 < 
 A 
 
 V 
 
 > 
 
 Words expressed by the 
 Auxiliary or Tick'd Char. 
 
 Observe 
 
 Deliver 
 
 Forgive 
 
 General 
 
 Happy 
 
 Know 
 
 Labour 
 
 Imagine 
 
 Neglect 
 
 Perfect 
 
 Question 
 
 Reflect 
 
 Serious 
 
 Temper 
 
 Worthy 
 
 Extraordinary 
 
 Yourself 
 
 The small point or dot is only given to show at which END each Character must be BEGUN. 
 
SECOND LESSON 
 
 Slioi-t Huiul Wiitoi: will .von oo 
 KOI -wait I tor a |m<rt- oi- two- 
 Swit'trr lur vour JK-II shall ttv, 
 None voiir talents shall tU-iiv* 
 
 THE BEST METHOD OF JOINING THE ALPHABETIC Ah 
 
 CHARACTERS 
 
THIRD LESSON. 
 
 Other secrets yet remain, 
 
 If you'd more conciseness gain ; 
 
 All these WORDS and MARKS should be 
 
 Firmly fix'd in memory. 
 
 THE 
 
 DOUBLE CONSONANTS, 
 
 AND AUXILIARIES, 
 
 WITH THE WORDS THOSE CHARACTERS REPRESENT. 
 
 Words expressed by the 
 Doable Consonant Char. 
 
 )oublcConso. 
 Characters. 
 
 Double 
 Consonants. 
 
 Auxiliary 
 Characters. 
 
 Words expressed by the 
 Auxiliary or Ticked Char. 
 
 Believe 
 
 /) 
 
 B L 
 
 4 
 
 Belong 
 
 Borrow 
 
 7 
 
 B R 
 
 / 
 
 Brother 
 
 Charge 
 
 / 
 
 C H 
 
 f 
 
 Character 
 
 False 
 
 X 
 
 F L 
 
 ^ 
 
 Follow 
 
 Glad 
 
 V 
 
 G L 
 
 K 
 
 Glory 
 
 Great 
 
 s 
 
 G R 
 
 ^< 
 
 Grief 
 
 Shame 
 
 o 
 
 S H 
 
 9 
 
 Short 
 
 Strange 
 
 Q 
 
 S T R 
 
 QT- 
 
 Strong 
 
 Think 
 
 
 
 T H 
 
 -r- 
 
 Thank 
 
 Trespass 
 
 / 
 
 T R 
 
 / 
 
 Trouble 
 
 The small point or dot is 
 
 show at which end each character must be begun. 
 
FOURTH LESSON'. 
 
 To the summit's height sublime 
 Would your manly spirit climb ? 
 
 Onward then and follow me, 
 
 Let us hence companions be. 
 Choicest fruits and lovely flowers, 
 When we reach it shall be ours. 
 
 THE 
 
 PREPOSITIONS AND TERMINATIONS, 
 
 OR BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS OF WORDS. 
 
 Preposition 
 Characters. 
 
 J 
 
 The Prepositions. Their Characters 
 must stand ALONE, and be ABOVE 
 the other characters which finish 
 those words. 
 
 bar bur 
 
 dis 
 
 discon 
 
 com con 
 
 Ian Ion 
 
 prac proc 
 
 quar quan 
 
 recom recon 
 
 temp trans 
 
 exter extra 
 
 inter intro 
 
 Termination 
 Characters. 
 
 X, 
 
 r 
 
 A 
 
 V 
 
 X 
 
 The Terminations. These are to be 
 JOIN ED to the other part of the words 
 to which they belong. The TICK 
 renders them perfectly distinct. 
 
 form 
 
 full 
 
 guish ject 
 claim cation 
 
 mand ment 
 
 tion ation otion ution 
 ship scribe soever 
 
 self 
 
 selves 
 
 ward warded 
 
On this spot we'll rest awhile, 
 Now, methinks, I see you smile 
 Forward but a step or two, 
 See the goal is full in view! 
 
 THE VOWELS, FIGURES, AND SHORTENING CHARACTERS. 
 
 AN ENTIRE NEW METHOD OF ABBREVIATING. 
 
 These Charac-l 
 
 ters are to be Thewordstne y express 
 
 The 
 Vowels, written abate 
 
 the line. 
 
 standing abort the line 
 
 an and 
 
 he the 
 
 ray may 
 
 no so 
 
 you your 
 
 Note. The vowel characters when placed 
 UNDERNEATH any oilier characters, will ex- 
 press the terminations. 
 
 \ ang, 3 ing, ong, - ung. 
 
 The figures are to be written upon the line. 
 
 1284 567890 
 
 Shortening Characters. 
 
 Place this mark // underneath the figures, to 
 distinguish them from words. 
 
 Example, 56 _/ 32 ^su 89 ^~ 
 
 Note. Figure 1 may be made either upwards 
 
 or downwards. 
 
 2 may be turned upside down when 
 more convenient for joining. 
 
 The loops of 6 and 9 may be made on either 
 side of the line. 
 
 jc 
 
 Placed close by the side of a word, 
 signifies a CONTRAST, the CONTRA- 
 RY to what has just been written. 
 
 Placed under a word or sentence, de- 
 notes that it is REPEATED. 
 
 Placed under a word, shows it to be 
 the XAMK of a person or place. 
 
 Signifies that something is there omit- 
 ted, or perhaps imperfectly written. 
 
 Marks of REFERENCE for any mar- 
 ginal notes or observations. 
 
 A question asked. 
 An answer given. 
 Query requiring examination. 
 
 A pet iod or full stop ; which is the 
 only stop used in Short Hand. 
 
 Any EMPHATICAL word may be 
 distinguished by this mark placed 
 UNDER it. 
 
 Viz. 
 &c. 
 
SIXTH LESSON. 
 
 Tliou, into periods yet unspoke, shalt pry, 
 Arrest their wings of fire ere yet they fly, 
 And, with a touch, as swift as light, transfer 
 Th' embodied thoughts, the instant they occur ! 
 
 EXAMPLES OF THE METHOD OF WRITING 
 LONG SHORT-HAND 
 
 He who in SHORT HAND would excel, 
 
 Must know each MARK and form it well ; 
 
 And, if he wish to write with SPEED, 
 
 And what he's written hope to READ, 
 
 Each WORD that's in the columns plac'd 
 
 Must on his mind be DEEPLY trac'd. 
 
 In vain may he expect PERFECTION 
 
 Who shuns or slights each choice direction; 
 
 But he who will himself divert, 
 
 And with the Rules become EXPERT, 
 
 Can copy out whate'er he please, 
 
 And read the whole with PERFECT EASE ; 
 
 Take down a Sermon, or a Speech, 
 
 And speedily PERFECTION reach. 
 
 In short, in each important matter, 
 
 He'll write as FAST as tongue can chatter ! 
 
RULES FOR WRITING AND DECYPHER ING, 
 
 WITHOUT BURDENING THE MEMORY. 
 
 At some interval of leisure 
 Read this o'er, 'twill give you pleasure ; 
 Nay, 'twill yield instruction too, 
 If you keep these RULES in view. 
 
 1. Be as exact as possible in the form, size, and position of every Character. 
 
 Imitate, in every respect those of your copy. 
 
 2. When writing, hold the pen nearly perpendicular; make the Characters very 
 
 light-, and let each WORD be completely FINISHED, (as far as the CONSO- 
 NANTS are concerned,) before the pen be taken off the paper. 
 
 3. No more letters are to be written in a word than are just necessary to give the 
 
 SOUND thereof. Thevowelsos e / i > o , u _ y^ aregenerally omitted. 
 
 4. Such Pieces as the Pupil has got by heart are the most suitable for his first 
 
 experiments in writing ; it teaches him to decypher it at the same time. 
 
 5. When two consonants of the same NAME or sound come together, without any 
 
 vowel between them, only one is to be expressed ; but if a vowel or vowels 
 intervene, both are to be written. Ex. ^-^V command, ^~/) memory. 
 
 6. The letters cks and cti, when they meet together, may be represented by x 
 
 Ex ~^/ flocks, yf/ rocks, ^(/ acts, ^ fads. 
 
 7. When the consonants gh meet together, / may be substituted. Ex x >^/x enough, 
 
 /\ rough, tough. 
 
 8. The double consonant gh may always be omitted when i precedes, or when / 
 
 follows them. Ex G_ I'ght, ^ right, ^ bought, $ sought. 
 
 9. Ph, when together, sounds like /, and may be represented by that letter. 
 
 Ex ' x_ nephew^ -^ <-\ phantom. 
 
 10. The terminations est and eth may always be omitted ; and frequently the 
 
 terminations ty, ity, ing, ize, ed, ly, full, able, new, ment. 
 
 11. The Learner should write, at least an hour every day, for a month, from a 
 
 person's reading or reciting slozcly, and always transcribe his notes into 
 Long-Hand to facilitate his progress. Unless this rule be strictly complied 
 with, the learner must never expect to follow a speaker. 
 
 12. In reading Short-Hand, every consonant should be sounded full and strong! v ; 
 
 this will suggest to the reader the vowels omitted, and greatly assist io 
 decyphering. Example: m t m t r,l memorial; not double m r I. 
 
e^lP 'PUfe N fc ^M 
 
 
 
 CONTRACTIONS 
 
 
 (OR KEY SYMBOLS) 
 
 ADAPTED TO EVERY SYSTEM OF SHORT HAND. 
 
 Would you in this art succeed, 
 And a first rate writer prove? 
 Learn these marks they'll wing your speed 
 Faster than the tongue can move! 
 
 THESE 
 
 ARE TOTALLY DISTINCT FROM THE SYSTEM. 
 
 
 And may be learnt or not, as the Pupil pleases. 
 
 Arbitrary 
 
 Contractions. 
 
 Natural Contractions. 
 
 -^ after 
 
 afterwards 
 
 ^ 
 
 contrary contradict 
 
 also 
 
 always 
 
 7^ 
 
 Christian 
 
 B any 
 
 many 
 
 -6 
 
 congregation 
 
 /-^N can 
 
 come 
 
 / 
 
 countenance 
 
 // ever 
 
 every 
 
 / 
 
 divide division 
 
 ^ for 
 
 from 
 
 ^e 
 
 eternal eternity 
 
 . 3 give 
 
 gave 
 
 m 
 
 multitude 
 
 X have 
 
 having 
 
 fl 
 
 none nothing 
 
 ^ how 
 
 however 
 
 @ 
 
 around about 
 
 into 
 
 unto 
 
 & 
 
 round roundabout 
 
 S off 
 
 often 
 
 1 
 
 tremble ing 
 
 uw on iy 
 
 over 
 
 tt 
 
 transgress ors 
 
 T or 
 
 are 
 
 o 
 
 through across 
 
 other 
 I our 
 
 otherwise 
 1 
 own 
 
 e- 
 
 throughout beyond 
 together taught 
 
 0- out 
 
 ought 
 
 c_ 
 
 altogether 
 
 y that 
 
 there fore 
 
 ^ 
 
 under stood stand ing 
 
 ^ thou 
 
 though 
 
 V 
 
 within 
 
 _,_ up 
 
 upon 
 
 X 
 
 without 
 
 V- with 
 
 will 
 
 ^ 
 
 between 
 
SHORT SHORT HAND. 
 
 When Eloquence lond thunders on thine ear, 
 Or wins its way in accents sweet and clear, 
 Ere yet the sounds themselves have died away, 
 Thy magic pen shall bid their echo stay! 
 
 Specimen of the method of following the most rapid Speaker. 
 (OMITTING SUPERFLUOUS WORDS.) 
 
 Mr. James Henry Lewis respectfully informs his Short-hand pupils, and the 
 public in general, that he has this day published a new and splendid edition 
 of his SHORT HAND PRAYER BOOK (according to the use of the United 
 Church of England and Ireland,) beautifully executed in Lithography 
 from his own manuscript characters, written in the most accurate manner, 
 and embracing all his improvements in Stenography. This work will be 
 of inestimable advantage to a learner, as it will enable him to obtain a 
 thorough knowledge of the theory and practice of Short-hand in a tenth 
 part of the time he otherwise could. The book is printed in a portable 
 pocket size, elegantly ornamented, and handsomely bound. The price to 
 pupils is only Nine Shillings and Sixpence. To strangers One Guinea. 
 To be had ONLY of Mr. Lewis, at his Writing and Short-hand Academy 
 in this Town ; or at his Establishment in London. 
 
ADVICE 
 
 TO THOSE WHO WISH TO FOLLOW THE MOST 
 RAPID SPEAKERS. 
 
 Now the highest point is gain'd 
 
 Ev'ry -wish is here attain'd. 
 
 See the prospect wide and fair ; 
 
 What can with the view compare ? 
 
 Shall we mention GURNET, TAYLOR, 
 
 HARDING, RICHARDSON, or MAYOR ; 
 
 BYROM, MOLINEUX, CLIVE, or ROE ? 
 
 Boldly you may answer No ! 
 
 Creeping on, with leaden hand, 
 
 See their pupils at a stand ; 
 
 Listen to their lame REPORT, 
 
 Dull, imperfect, broken, short. 
 
 But anon, the swift.wing'd quill 
 
 In your hand shall speed at will ; 
 
 And, with fearless confidence, 
 
 Seize the words of eloquence ! 
 
 Perfect in each varied rule, 
 
 Let not then your ardour cool; 
 
 Proud your talent to display, 
 
 Practice every passing day. 
 
 At your intervals of leisure, 
 
 Be this art your choicest pleasure ; 
 
 With enthusiastic feeling, 
 
 Every word, and sentence, stealing. 
 
 Grave Divines, whene'er they preach, 
 
 Lecturers, whene'er they teach 
 
 Lawyers, when they state a case, 
 
 All should see your studious face. 
 
 To attain this noble end, 
 
 J. H. L. his aid will lend : 
 
 Ponder o'er his Rules, and look 
 
 Often in his short-hand book 
 
 What you'll need is there embrac'd ; 
 
 Every mark may there be trac'd ; 
 
 Copy but the system through, 
 
 And you soon will write it true. 
 
ON THE UTILITY AND ADVANTAGES 
 
 OF THE 
 
 Z.EWZSIAN SYSTS3VI OF SHORT HAND 
 
 WHICH IS NOW MADE USE OF BY ALL THE 
 
 PUBLIC REPORTERS AND SHORT HAND WRITERS, 
 
 TO THE EXCLUSION OF EVERY OTHER SYSTEM. 
 
 In verse, I'll teach you to descry 
 This art's exceeding excellency; 
 And when its value you discern, 
 No longer hesitate to learn ; 
 Hereby in margin you may write, 
 "What takes whole pages to indite : 
 And what at large takes up a day, 
 May in an hour be writ this way. 
 Its usefulness can scarce be told, 
 It is so very manifold : 
 Hereby you may, with ease and speed, 
 Commit to writing what you read ; 
 And what you write, you may hereby 
 As soon commit to memory. 
 Letters and other things, may be 
 Transcribed with celerity: 
 And sermons writ e'en from the lip, 
 And sudden thoughts before they slip. 
 Reports and speeches and orations, 
 Marginal notes and observations ; 
 And daily memoranda too, 
 And things not fit for public view. 
 Descriptions of the customs, fashions, 
 And policy of other nations ; 
 In peace, in war, hereby may be 
 Straight writ, with much facility. 
 Useful 'tis for the traveller, 
 Tradesman, student, ambassador ; 
 Lady and gentleman need know it, 
 Physician, lawyer, preacher, poet ; 
 For every person in his station, 
 'Tis useful unto admiration ! 
 And 'tis so SHORT and PLAIN that none 
 Can fail to learn it no not one ! 
 
EXERCISES FOR THE LEARNER, 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 THE DESCRIPTION OF A NEWSPAPER, 
 
 WHICH 
 
 EMBRACES ALL THE ABBREVIATIONS* 
 
 MADE USE OF IN SHORT HAND. 
 
 Note. Those words and parts of words printed in Italics are each expressed by a tingle abbreviating 
 character, contained in this System. 
 
 To those who guide the public PRESS 
 
 We're much indebted I con fess; 
 
 I judge them worthy of respect, 
 
 And on their labours oft reflect. 
 
 There's scarce an object, new, or strange, 
 
 Within their talents' ample range, 
 
 But what they speedily discover. 
 
 And care fully to us deliver. 
 
 If we imagine half the pains 
 
 That often rack their bur den'd brains, 
 
 Their captious readers to amuse, 
 
 When ever there's a dearth of NEWS, 
 
 There's no impartial man can wonder 
 
 That we sometimes detect a blunder. 
 
 Who ever may frequent the place 
 
 Where all these varied scenes we trace 
 
 May all their difficulties believe, 
 
 And what is printed false, forgive. 
 
 How swift their move merits ! wide their plan 
 
 And inter est ing to every man. 
 
 Whate'er informs, instructs, amuses, 
 
 Its ample page around diffuses ; 
 
 And almost every inform ation 
 
 That's treasured up throughout the n ation 
 
 Perhaps you read a 1 ong debate, 
 
 Upon the great affairs of State ; 
 
 Or, else peruse with silent awe 
 
 The dread deci sions of the Law ; 
 
 Tis there the Stenographic art 
 
 So often does its aid impart, 
 
 And, by its wonderous magic powers, 
 
 Makes every word that's utter'd our's. 
 
 Some vessel is about to sail, 
 
 And only waits the favour ing gale 
 
 A merchant has a stock of wine, 
 
 Declares it exquisitely fine 
 
 Another, fifty casks of butter, 
 
 Just arrived on board a cutter; 
 
 And advertises all for sale, 
 
 In the lot or, by retail. 
 
 A needy tradesman wants to borrow ; 
 
 What I've lent many to my sorrow. 
 
 Another tells of pills, and p otions ; 
 
 Of stimulat ing drugs and \ otions ; 
 
 Of virtues extraordinary, 
 
 For all dis orders necessary ; 
 
 Of power to search the system through, 
 
 And o'er the whole new life to throw. 
 
 So strangely kind to gain your pelf, 
 
 He hopes you'll not neglect yourself. 
 
 Another has a horse to sell, 
 
 De scribes him perfect, strong, and well ; 
 
 Is certain that he does not lie, 
 
 And pledges his integrity. 
 
 A tailor publishes his card, 
 
 And states his prices, at per yard 
 
 Can recom mend his superfine 
 
 For ready cash at twenty-nine ; 
 
 A quarter's credit shouldst thou want 
 
 His terms are not extra vagant. 
 
 Of cassimere, he has a plenty, 
 
 And dex'trous workmen more than twenty ; 
 
 Can imitate the varied shapes 
 
 Get up a coat with grace ful capes ; 
 
 A habit, pantaloons, or vest, 
 
 Superior work, and cloth the best ; 
 
 In short, what ever you require 
 
 He'll soon proc ure, at your desire. 
 
A character some groom can give, 
 If in your service he should live. 
 A family are plung'd in grief, 
 And stand in need of your relief. 
 Another gives us inform ation 
 About his book for calcul ation; 
 That many questions there are solved, 
 Which in the mind have 1 ong revolved. 
 Perhaps you read a vote of thanks 
 Is offered unto Chairman BANKS, 
 Whilst in a speech, that none will learn, 
 He com pli ments them in return. 
 Some bar barous wretch perhaps is \\ung, 
 While through the streets his speech is s ung ; 
 How many round the spot collected, 
 And how a thief was there detected ; 
 And taken off with special care, 
 By those transgressors always fear. 
 Overwhelmed with shame, to prison sent, 
 And there in filth and darkness pent, 
 Am ong a group of brother rogues, 
 Without a shill ing in their brogues. 
 From thence trans ferred to public trial, 
 Obliged to go without denial ; 
 Together stand the wicked wights, 
 Wearied out with sleepless nights ; 
 Discom posed with downcast faces, 
 Bereft of all exter nal graces ; 
 Sergeant WILDE submits each case, 
 And br ings the parties face to face ; 
 Deep silence reigns, for now the Court, 
 Is ponder ing over each report ; 
 Both Bench, and Congregation too, 
 As Christians, pity this sad crew. 
 The learned Judge his com ment makes, 
 The Jury no division takes ; 
 For why divide in contrary mood, 
 When guilt is clear and clearly understood ! 
 The verdict now the foreman gave, 
 And nothing can the sentence wave ; 
 Now culprits into con science pry, 
 And seem to dread eternity ; 
 Attentively each hears his doom, 
 With countenance of settled gloom ; 
 Begin their sorrows now to vent, 
 And wait the threaten'd punish ment / 
 With measur'd footsteps short and slow, 
 
 Some tread the wheel that rolls below ; 
 
 And this eternal revol ution 
 
 Gives those who trespass retrib ution, 
 
 Another off to Chatham skulks 
 
 To try his strength on board the hulks ; 
 
 And by his manual agility 
 
 Gives quantum proofs of his ability. 
 
 Some brave the sea's temp estuous storm, 
 
 Where they to hard ship must con form 
 
 Whilst some com mence without delay, 
 
 Atrip direct to Botany Bay. 
 
 Some discon tented multitude, 
 
 Upon the public peace intru de ; 
 
 Refuse all recon cili ation, 
 
 And show their hostile indign ution ; 
 
 No other way to make a clearance, 
 
 But military inter ference, 
 
 They soon the leaders apprehend, 
 
 And make the others home ward bend. 
 
 Perhaps some hypocondriac, 
 
 Who never to his home came back, 
 
 Is sought in vain by weep ing friends ; 
 
 Whilst he, pursued by Fancy's fiends, 
 
 And list'n ing to their dread instruc tion, 
 
 Is taught to work his own des true tion ; 
 
 An inquest holden near the ground, 
 
 Reveals the truth to all around ; 
 
 7 he an guish of a wretched mother, 
 
 Dis tracted wife, or hapless brother. 
 
 A rogue, well prac tised in the trade, 
 
 An enter ance through some door has made ; 
 
 A cruel wretch, with base inten tion t 
 
 Almost beyond one's com prehen sion ; 
 
 With muffled foot and noiseless tread, 
 
 He hears some snor ing man in bed, 
 
 And burst ing on the trembling elf, 
 
 Hespr ings a light and shows him self / 
 
 De mandsthekeys in threaten ing strains 
 
 And then beats out his victim's brains. 
 
 The horrid deed is soon pro claim'd, 
 
 A great re ward is also nam'd, 
 
 He's seized, whilst striv ing to elope, 
 
 And ends his days with hempen rope ! 
 
 Perhaps your eye may often meet 
 
 A fact detail'd at Marlbro' street, 
 
 A serious tragical affair, 
 
 Which neither you nor 1 could bear. 
 
A dandy, pac ing through the town, 
 Receives a blow which knocks him down 
 The th ing is done as quick as thought, 
 No hand is seen no battle fought ; 
 But spr ing ing up, he cried peccavi, 
 When straight came vp the watchman Davy, 
 They followed fast these saucy elves, 
 And boldly seized the gang them selves 
 Who thinking to get out of trouble, 
 Attack'd them both with courage double 
 And hold ing self defence as lawful, 
 The con sequence was truly aw ful. 
 One of the dire death deal ing blows, 
 Des cended on the watchman's nose, 
 Who, dropp ing like the slain in battle 
 Perceiv'd'twas time to spr ing his rattle 
 This brought the whole fraternity, 
 Who took the rogues in custody. 
 Perhaps you read some puzzl ing case 
 Which was dis cussed at such a place, 
 For JOHNNY DOE, and RICHARD ROE, 
 Whom all the legal gentry know. 
 A very wordy, mystic case, 
 Which, not the keenest eye can trace : 
 Whereas, though, afterwards, however, 
 Ought, therefore, otherwise, whom soever, 
 Between,belonging,having, and so forth ; 
 With other words of equal worth. 
 Our British troops perhaps must go 
 In glory's path, to meet the foe : 
 To charge them o'er and o'er again, 
 On any wide ensanguined plain; 
 To make them altogether yield, 
 Or, gladly fly them selves the field. 
 Perchance you read of great men fall ing ; 
 A General, in the act of seal ing ; 
 Observing victory through the battle, 
 And happy'midst the cannon's rattle ; 
 Expecting soon to take posses sion 
 And listen to the foe's con ces sion / 
 When lo ! a swift w ing'd bullet flies 
 Across his skull, he drops and dies. 
 You read, perchance, some alter cation, 
 'Twixt two high fools of lofty st ation / 
 A bullet settles the dispute 
 And leaves a wretch for ever mute. 
 
 Sometimes .you read of con tracts made, 
 Of monies oft received and paid. 
 Some raised to dignity and wealth, 
 Some Ian guish ing, and some in health. 
 And oft of c on troversies rare, 
 And contradictions hard to bear ; 
 This punish'd now, and that rewarded, 
 And, many oddities recorded. 
 Of sights magnificent ant/ curious. 
 Th ings hyperbolical flnrfspurious. 
 Of matters carelessly begun, 
 Which never were nor will be done. 
 Of some men's inability, 
 And other's respectability. 
 Events to come are oft' foretold, 
 Eclipses, earthquakes, heat and cold ; 
 And oft of bankruptcies we read, 
 These wealthy now, and those in need. 
 Of those who marry those who die, 
 Here some com mand, and some com ply. 
 Of latitude and Ion gitude, 
 Where dar ing spirits oft intru de. 
 Of those who govern church and state, 
 In temperance and tax ation hate. 
 Sometimes we hear from an attendant, 
 Of foreign deeds, and sights resplendent. 
 Of goods both dear and reasonable, 
 Of others good and seasonable. 
 And oft of deeds which mortify, 
 And some, in short, which horrify. 
 Of works with wit and humour pregnant, 
 And th ings which rouse to wrath indignant. 
 Of fortunes lost by heedlessness, 
 And houses fired by carelessness. 
 Com modities both bought and sold. 
 And those who gz'ce, and who withhold. 
 Of intro due tions to the Court, 
 Or, Parliamentary REPORT. 
 Of th ings \\ hereon to speculate, 
 Or, form the sub ject of debate. 
 Which ever way you turn your eye, 
 Its pages every where supply 
 Someth ing instructive or amus ing, 
 That, after all, is worth perus ing, 
 In which you may instruc tion find, 
 To quicken and expand your mind. 
 
THE LEWISIAN 
 
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