5I8Z
1719
Gordon
An Apology for the
Danger of the Church
4 a \j I or a =
UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY
■■I
■ . ' ' 1
A N
APOLOGY
FOR THE
Danger of the Church
That the ChUrch is, and ought to>
be always in 'Danger ; and that it
would be dangerous for her to be out
of Danger.
Being a Second Part of the Apology for
farfon cAL'BERONL
''' — " i f ' « "" ' i '" i ' ' ' i , '' I ' li n-r . t . '' Vj
*By the fame aAuthor,
Tettus inaniter angitj
Irritar, mulcet, falfis Terroribus tmplet,
Ut Magus.
Hor. Epift. i. Lib. 2.
Wfa jfoptty cfc&iefoit
LONJbO tf;
printed for J. %obcrts, near the Oxford- Jrttis iff
Warwick- Untt 1719* (Price 6 d.)
I ■
wv*. '■*?&>* h^>
A N
APOLOGY
FOR THE
Danger of the Church,
H E Profpect: of doing great and
ufcful Actions, or the Confidera-
tion of having done them, muft
needs be Matter of Pleafure and
Triumph to a Mind honeftiy
ambitious. It is therefore no
little Joy to me to reflsd, that
I have been a Perfon of notable Moment and
Significancy this Winter j by my ftrenuous De-
fence of High-Church, and the Trade thereof I
have placed its true Sons and Overfeers in a
true Light, in which every one may behold them,
and bow down with his Face to the Earth.
As all pious Deeds meet with fome Reward
either in the internal Satisfaction of the Mind, or
from the Monuments of Praife eroded by Man-
kind to the Doer, I have no Reaiou *c fay that
A 2
! €54701
( 4")
my late Apology went without its Recompence 5
fmce by it I have gain'd, what I fincerely aim'd
at, to the Genuine Vriefihood all due Honour, and
jo my felf 1 — — . But it becomes me who
am but a private Gentleman, to ferve my Country
for nothing.
There' is, however, fome good Fortune gene-
rally attending the brave Man who draws in De-
fence of the Church. She is a lucky old Body,
and few find Caufe to repent of having done her
a good Turn. I my felt, her weak tho' volun-
tary Champion, am two Pair of Shoes and a Bea-
ver the richer, for wearing out three Pens, and
exhaufting a Halfp' worth of Ink in her Service.
I ftill want a Sword-knot, and a Tooth-pick- cafe,
which I make no Queftion of earning in a few
Days from the Steeple. I have for that Purpofe,
at fhjs yery Juncture, feventeen Pamphlets in my
Head, all carved out into proper Method and
Paragraphs, and ten of them are already fold to
my Bookfeller, who purchafes my Brains at fo
much a Sheet. I would willingly fell him the
other feven, and throw two or three little ones
into the Bargain ; but he (hakes his Ears, and
(eems to fay, be has ventured enough already.
In this Manner is my pregnant Head become
an Office of Wit and Manufcripts, to be em-
ploy'd wholly in the Intereft of the Sacred Brood
of Aaron.
Purfuant to this I have a Project now on Foot,
which, if jjluly encouraged, will tend to the uni-
¥erfal Credit and Emolument of this diftrefs'd
Church. In- fhort, it is my Purpofe toexpbfe my
Head, and the Furniture thereof, to Sale by
Auction, at St. Paul's Chapter- houfe, on the
30th of May next ; ar which Time and Place, I
&<> hereby humbly hope and beg/ the Prefence
and
(5)
and Encouragement of all the Reverend Zealots
within this Realm. The Particulars are as fol-
lows.
A CATALOGUE
Of unborn Pamphlets, and Satyrs, to be pub-
lifh'd as foon as they are brought forth, for the
Benefit of our Mother- Church, and her hopeful
Boys, the Parfons.
Imprimis, The Nature and Neceffity of an Ec-
clefiaftical Delirium, or the Art of holy Foam-
ing. Written in the Stile of the eloquenc
Dr. S /.
%. The holy Monopoly •, or a new Convey-
ance of an old Grant, fign'd and feal'd above \
proving the Clergy to be the natural Lords of all
the Women and Land in Great Britain, and the
rightful Occupiers of both, in Spite of all Lay.
and Rent-Rolls whatfoever.- *- A valuable
pamphlet !
;. The Tribe of Iffachar • or an Argument to
prove that the Laity have a Right to no Liberty,
put that of being Slaves to the Clergy. To
which is added, an Appendix, proving that the
Parfons ought to govern the World.
4. The Modern Paradox ; or a Demonftration
that Ungodlinefs may be orthodox, and a good
Life damnable. The whole being intended for
a Defence of the Reverend Dr. 5- /, and
a Reproof to Mr. Whifton.
$\ The Truth of Contradi&ion •, or Church-
Anthmetick, demonstrating, That three u one, and
one u three.
6. The Unreafonablenefs of underftanding the
Scripture.
7. The abfolute Neceffity of underftanding
our Duty to the Clergy.
8. The Innocence of Perjury and Rebellion,
on one Side, 9. A
(«)
9« A plain Proof that Laymen may lawfully
commit Sin, if they will pay for it, and kneel
for Pardon to the Clergy.
There are feveral more MSS. of the like Na-
ture and Tendency, which may be feen at the
Place of Sale, with the Price mark'd upon them.
1 have already confefled, that my humble At-
tempts to ferve the Church have not altogether
miffed their Recompence ; and if the late blejfed
Martyr, Jemmy Shepherd, with fome other ortho-
dox Gentlemen, who fought and were hang'd foe
the Church, did not fare fo merrily, it was be-
caufe the Clergy were not confulted and obey'd,
as queftionlefs they ought to have been. But
thus it will ever be, while the King and Parlia-
ment are fufferd to ad independently on the Con-
vocation.
Since therefore I have fucceeded in my honeft
Endeavours, to fet up the Parfons as the Idols of
the Univerfe, I cannot, in Gratitude to them
and my felf, forbear purfuing my Blow, till I
have fatiated their holy Leachery, and Mr. Leflieh
Prophefy, by perfuading Mankind, to fall down
before them, ivith their Faces to the. Earth, and lick up
the Duft of their Feet. And when I have once
obliged the Lay Gibeonites to be as refpeBful and
miserable as becomes them s the Clergy and I will
fit down together, and facrifice to Wine and
Tobacco.
In the mean while it fhall be my prefent Task
to confound Gainfayers, by proving, That the
Church is, and ought to be in Danger, and that it would
be dangerous for her to be out of Danger.
Bur before I proceed, I muft, for my own Se-
curity from Cavillers, and for the greater Clear-
nefsof my Difcourfe 3 fettle the Idea which I and
all Men ought to have of the Church, by denning
the
(7)
the Word; The Church then, *r a fable Society of
Gentlemen, wearing broad Hats and deep Garments *
•who poffefs great part of the Wealth and Power of the
World, and would have All, as a Reward for keeping
Mankind in decent Ignorance and Bondage.
And now I enter upon my Defign, with great
Alacrity of Heart.
I own the Gofpel makes this Story of the
Church's Danger a meer Fable ,• but be it alfo
known, that tho' our Saviour fays the Gates of
Hell lhall not prevail againft it, our Parfins will
not take his Word for it. I am forry with all my
Heart, for the great Mifunderftanding and Dif-
ference which there are between Jefus Chrift and
his Ambaffadors, almoft in every Point of Belief
and Pra&ice ; and, I confefs, it is very odd, that
they who pretend all their Power to be from him,
ihould not credit his moft folemn Promifes j but
I fee no Remedy for thefe Things.
I that am a Layman, find great Comfort in be-
ing a Chriftian and a Believer ; and particularly
I am fo much of a Heretick, as to think, that
when our Saviour faid his Father was greater than
he, he did not tell a Word of a Lie ; i know his
Ambaffadors are of another Opinion ; but I
have Faith in Chrift Jefus.
The Danger of the Church comes from divers
Caufes, the principal of which I (hall reckon up.
And firft, common Senfe and Sobriety are
great Enemies to the Church. While Folks are
lober and rational, they can fee about them, and
want that large Competency of Blindnefs which
fo eminently qualifies a Man for a good Church-
man. So long as they are deftitute of that Title
to Orthodoxy, they will be attending to the Means
of their own Inteieft and Safety, than which no
greater Rubi can be thrown in the Prieithood's
Way. No*
Not many Years ago, when we were beating
our Enemies, and defending our felves and £«-
rope from Chains ; when Succefs and Reputation
attended us abroad, and we flourifh'd in Peace,
and Security at home \ an ignorant Perfon would
think we were a happy People, and indeed we
were To : But what then ? Our Happinefs, Vir-
tue, and Concord, were not only utterly incon-
fiftent with the Welfare of the Church ,• but put
it into terrible Danger: And therefore all her
true Sons bent their whole \light and Zeal to re-
lieve her by diftra&ing the Nation ; and their
pious and fiery Endeavours, at laft, made the
People mad, and the Church fafe. Its ftrongeft
Votaries, the ingenious Vulgar, drank away their
Reafon and Humanity, and committed Bloodftied
and Blafphemy, every where, for the Church,
with vaft Zeal and Succefs ; and the Church ga*
ther'd raoft Strength when Religion and Reafon
had leaft. As for thofe Fanatical fober Rogues,
that kept their Senfes, they were devoutly knock'd
down by thofe who were fo Orthodox as to have
none. At this blejfed JunBure the Clergy had the"
Happinefs to fee more Blood and Beer drawn for
the Church, than ever had been before on any
Occafioh whatfoever. And ic is always an infal-
lible Sign of the Church's Health and Profperity,
when the Bufinefs of Excife-men and Surgeons
increafes beyond meafure.
It will fall naturally under this tiead, to obferve
who are the Church's beft and ftancheft Friends.
And in the firft Place, there are many No6Ie
Lords, who are born Friends to the Churchy and live
and die in that Friendlhip. There is the little
Lord Jpemore, who has beftow'd his whole Heart
upon Parfons and Race-Horfes. He knows no-
ting elfe, and, happily for the Church, cares
hi
(9)
for nothing elfe. He feems, with Sr. Francis, to
be an implacable Foe to all human Knowledge
and Charity ; but he can fay the Atbanaftan Creed,
drink Damnation to the Whigs, and is upon the
whole a compleat Church-man. Lord Apemore
was once Drinking a Health to his Horfe Frede-
rick, and among thofe who heard it, it went
round ; but when it came to the turn of a Whig
in Company to drink, he being thick of Hear-
ing, miftook, and, throwing up his H3t with
loyal Noife and Affection, drank Prince Frederick.
Upon which the Peer, rinVig from his Seat, Dam
me, Sir, what <f ye mean, Sir ? Dam me, Sir, d' yt
know where you are, Str ? Dam me, Sir, we know
no Prince Frederick here, Sir ; and Dam- me, Sir, we
are drinking a bttter Maris Health, Sir. This ex-
cellent Speech has gain'd his Lordfhipthe Repu-
tation of a Wit, and a brave Man, among all the
Parfons and 'Squires round the Country.
Corfulus is another right Honourable Perfon,
who hasi>een a true Church -man from his Cradle.
To a Concujfion in that Machine it is thought he is
indebted for his Orthodox Principles, and his Secu-
rity from the dangerous Influenc e of human Rea-
fon. 1 could give ample Proofs of this, but his
Lordfhip through the whole Courfe of his Life
has done it to my hand. He makes a Joke of the
King's Title, and of his own Oath to maintain
it ; he is as honourably ignorant as becomes a
Great Perfonage and a true Church-man, and he
never goes to Bed without (wallowing eight
Quarts, and as many Thoufand Oaths. Let the
World judge if this Man be not a cordial and ap-
proved Friend to the Hierarchy.
The Lord Syntax is pa ft Forty, and has all the
Rules of Grammar by Heart -, but notwithstand-
ing this great Accomplifhmenr, the Cawl is not yet
B taken
( io)
taken off bis Face, and he is ftill a Minor. But be-
ing a Babe in common Senfe, he is confequently
a refolute High Church-man.
Lord Gemini doeslikewife demand honourable
mention on this Occafion. Nature was very neg-
ligent when fhe made this Great Man, for he is
an unfinifh'd Piece of brown Earthy and his Mind (if
he has one) tallies exa&ly to his Outfide. He can-
not (hut his Mouth, nor hold his Tongue. How-
ever, half made as he is, hekJull of bright Zeal;
and, when he is in the Houje, he feems to mean
feverai Speeches for the Church, but no Mortal
is fo well bred as to hear him : And yet, his
Mouth, as I faid, being always ready open, he
proceeds eternally.
I confefs that Earl Talman, tho* he is a Church-
man, wants two effential Qualifications for that
Character : He has Senfe, and he is never drunk.
But, quoth Cato y who had not a due Refpeft for
Triejihood and Tyranny : Solus C<efar ad evertendant
Rempublicam fobrius advenit. To be juft to Earl
Taiwan, I grant he was twice a Whig upon valua-
ble Considerations, and once out of a Pique. But
at prefent he is a great Church-man, becaufe he
has not a proper Reafon to be otherwife.
Lord Bowling-Green is no Fool neither, nay he
was a Wit and a Writer during the Life of a great
Poet, whofe Death had fuch an Effe# upon him,
that he has not writ a Linefince. But, tho' the
Peer has Senfe, yet it happens fo oddly, that he
is a true Church-man: But malicious People pre-
tend to give you a Reafon for it, by alledging
that he leans towards Infidelity. If this be true,
the thing is not at all ftrange.
I was going on with my Characters of this fort,
butlmuft remember that I have not now time to
write a Folio.
From
CO
From what has been faid, I hope it is evident
why moft of our Rural Squires and Purfuers of
Foxes are excellent High Church-men. Thefe
married Minors are all under the Dominion of
their Wives and the Parfons, who regale one ano-
ther with Caudle and Orthodoxy, and fo firth,
and govern thefe fimple Vehicles of Worfhip and
Nonfenfe, and mould their Hearts and their Heads
into what Faith and Figure they pleafe. And it
muft be acknowledged, to the Honour of thefe
genuine Gentlemen, that they have an admirable
Knack at Planting Orthodoxy in all its Branches,
where«ever they come.
Andrew la Fool, Efq; keeps fpecial Beer, and
has a Wife who loves the Church and all its Tac-
kle. Andrew never dines without feven Parfons
at his Elbow^
'Squire Toby lived in a married State nine Years
without Iffue ; he at length took a Chaplain into
his Houfe, and now his Wife is with Child. See,
fays Toby, the Blejfing that attends the keeping of a
Clergy -man in ones Houfe! And yet, but to fleafe my
Wife, I had not done it.
I am far from being furpriz'd that our Rural
Members vote on all Occafions for the Church.
Is not filial Duty a potent Reafon ? And is there
no Gratitude, nor Affe&ion, due to the <yood
Men who brought them probably into tr.e
World, and certainly into the Houfe .• For, our
Country Candidates have an A^ent, to be fure,
if not a Father, in every Parifh in the County,
who carries ail the Votes in the Village under his
Girdle.
Nor are thefe Sons of the CaiTock, laft men-
tioned, a*,y more rebellious in their Capacity
than in their Inclinations. Their pious and con-
venient Ignorance is a certain Pledge for their
B 2 Zeal,
(12 )
Zeal, and thefe two are perpetually of a fizc
As to the Behaviou* and Practice of thefe Le-
vitical Cubs, it is the eafieft Task in the World ;
Their whole Bufinefs is to be drunk and Orthodox.
Having now (hewn why fo many Lords and
Commons are true Church-men, I need fay no-
thing of the Rabble, fince they are fo for the
fame Reafon, and therefore 'tis no wonder the
Church has fuch a Majority amongft them- The
Church, if the Mob forfake it, is undone.
Hence it is that for good and pious Ends I have,
as Council for the Clergy, drawn the following
Deed of Conveyance, which, I do not doubc,
will be readily ftgn'd and feal'd by the Parties
concern'd. The Purporc of it is to enrich the
Chnrch-Intereft with a Multitude of Perfons
whom the Whigs may well fpare.
' Whereas there are divers and fundry well-
c meaning ignorant Perfons in this Land, who
* call themfelves Whigs, and yet want the neceiTa-
* ry Marks and Qualifications belonging to that
c Character, which is maintain'd by a good Vnder~
€ (landing, and by a powerful Lov» for Truth and
c Liberty, and, in general, by ajuft Senjc of Things ?
* And whereas the aforefaid good and fenflefs
* Perfons do originally and naturally belong to
c the Oafs of true Church-men, whofe Cau(e has
* from the beginning been fupported by Number
' and Nonfenfe ; We therefore whofe Names are
* hereunto fubferibed, taking into our tender
c Confideration the Intereft of the Clergy, do,
* as Reprefcntatives of the whole Body of Whigs
' in Gnat Britain, by thefe Prefents, renounce,
* reieafe, 'ni for ever quit our Claim, to all
* Boobies ?nd Idiots who may have run blindly
* into our Party ; And we do hereby freely, and
* of our own meer Motion, refign and make over
* the
C'J)
' the faid Fools and Naturals -unto the High
* Church of England, whofe prober Goods and
* Chatties they are, the faid Church knowing
* full well how to apply the Blindnefs and Stupi-
' dity of them the faid Affes to admirable and
* Orthodox Ends and Purpofes. Witnefs our
' Hands, &c. x
A. B. cum Sociis fuls.
I have but one Scruple upon my Confcience
in relation to this Grant of mine in Behalf of the
Church. I doubt it will obftruft the Bill for Pre
venting the Growth of Peerage, if ever it mould come
in again : And, on the contrary, make many
new Creations neceflary to fill up the Vacancies
ic will occafion. But let our Superiors look to
that. The Church in the mean while ought to
pray fervemly for Succefs to fuch a Bill ; for if it
pafs, I will be bold to prophefy, that fifty Years
hence the whole Houfe, at leaft a great Majority,
will be genuine Church-men •, unlefs the fame be firft
rendred intirely empty by a rigorous Execution of
this my Conveyance.
Another traiterous Enemy to the Church hath
been the Weather.
When that remarkable Phenomenon appear'd about
three Years fince, every one that had Orthodox
Eyes faw Armies and Champions in the Air,
brandifhing their Broad Swords, and threatning
prefent Death and Deftru&ion to all Fanaticks
and Low Church-men ,• yet fo it fhamefully hap-
pens, that that Caravan of Tvry-Clouds has neither
brought over the Pretender, nor (truck any other
Blow on the Church's fide.
The Wind likewife plaid the Truant from the
Church, and in fpight of the Prophefies and
Prayers of all the Paribnsaud o\h»r old Women in
the
( '4)
the Nation, Sir George Bing's Fleet was not funk.
One would naturally take the Sea, by its Noife
and Roaring, to be an Orthodox Perfon ; but, by
its late great Civilities to our Ships, it feems to
have quite deferted the Church-Intereft, and
tack'd about to the Whigs.
I happen'd to be down in Ejjex about the time
when Sir John Norris was fent into the Baltick to
detain the moderate and pious King of Sweden
from that Expedition, from which our Church
expscled great Salvation, as the Reverend Mr.
7* zealoufly phras'd it, and on Sunday I went
to Church. Our Parfon, after taking his Text,
and making a Flourifh or two about the Meaning
©f it, told us, that tho* the Doom denounced a-
gainft the Ships of Tar[hifh and the ISLES, was
an old Prophefy, it might probably, nay it did
certainly extend much further, and we were en-
courag'd to hope great Effe&s from it, in this
our day. Ton (liall fee, fays he, and I [peak it from
the Mouth of Infpiration it felf, you fiall fuddenly fee
the Wonders of the Lord in the Deep. Can the Al-
mighty profper thofe Ships that are the "Bulwarks of
Ujurpation , Commonwealths and Schifm ? No, he
cannot, he muft not, if he be true to his own Word, if
he has any Regard for his own Church and People. His
whole Sermon was to the like Purpofe, and he
feem'd to have ftrong and Chriftian Hopes that our
Navy would psrifh. But notwithstanding thifc
he preach'd and foam'd with wonderful Zeal, and
vented great Eloquence and Spittle ; and not-
wuhftanding that he threaten'd the Lord, if he
did nor grant a Tempeft ; and the People, if they
dii not pray for it 5 yet neither God nor the
Weather obey'd him, and Sir John and his Squa-
dron went in Safety.
In
( '5 )
In fhort, there has not been a Blaft of Wind,
or a Shower of Rain thefe five Years, but what
has been drawn, Head over Heel s, into the Party
and Intereft of the Church. It thunder'd for the
Church, and fnow'd for the Church, and froze
for the Church. And yet the Whigs who have
got all the Money in the Nation, have fo bribed
the Elements, that they have quite forfook the
Catholick Caufe. We had laft Summer, very
hot Weather, which in the Opinion of all the
Orthcdox, boded nothing lefs to the Nation, than
a general Famine and Peftilence, for the Martyr-
dom of the b'ejjed Martyr, and the keeping out of
the Pretender. But thefe pefiilential Friends of the
Church, though earneftly wifh'd for, and pofi-
tively foretold, have not done the Church the
leaft Service, by laying wafte their native Coun-
try. How often was the King's Army to have
been frozen up in Scotland, during the late Rebel-
lion, and moft of the Parfons in the Kingdom
had pawn'd their Word and Faith upon it. But
in the Iflue, neither the Froft nor the Snow help'd
the Church and the Pretender.
In laft Autumn Word was brought to the Par-
fon of a certain Parifh, that fuch a Boy in the
Village was juft then kill'd with Thunder and
Lightning. Is be ? fays the Parfbn, It is what I
always foretold, that that Boy would come to a difmal
End, for he went conjlantly to a fanatick Conventicle ;
and neither 1 nor his School-mafier could dijjwade h'm
from it. Ay, but Sir, reply 'd the MefTengcr, who
brought the Doctor chefe glad Tidings, Gaffer
Pitchfork is murdered too, with thick Jame toady
Clap of Thunder , and you do know, Sir, he was a
Main Man for the Church, and fcught brave'/ for
putting up the Mayp ,le. Ac this the Doftor fcracch'd
his Head, and laid, it w appointed to all Men once
to die. My
( i6 )
My Landlady at Hartly Row, who is a good
Churchwoman, and very great with the Parfon
of the Parifh, is well allured, that the late Meteor
is a viftble Judgment upon us, for our putting down the
Convocation, as flie calls it. I hope, when his
Majefty hears this, he will fummon the Parfons
again, to fave us from Comets and Lightning, and
to rebuke the Nation once more for Infidelity, in
not believing in them, and alfo to convince the
Bifliop of Bangor, by cenfuring him.
What Pity is this, that neither the Clouds, nor
the Sun, nor the Moon, nor the Stars, nor any
Thing above them, can be brought to favour the
Caufe of the Church !
Providence is Hkewife, I fear, become an Ene-
my to High- Church j for it difappoints her on all
Occafions.
At a Time when* her Foundations feemM to be
laid deep, and her Defigns ripe for Execution,
on an unlucky Firft of Augu(t, the Church's Nurfe
died, and the Babe fainted. All the holy Trea-
chery and Violence, ufed then by the Church's
Friends, and all their feafonable Violations of
Treaties and Oaths, were for that Bout urcerly
toft, and their Confcience and Honefty thrown
away to no Purpofe.
This was an unkind Difcourtefy, which I fear
they will never forgive, and yet in about a Year's
Time after-wards, the Church was play'd ano-
ther flippery Trick, as bad as the former, by the
removing out of this mortal Life a Monarch
who was Champion and Gladiator in chief for our
Orthodox Clergy.
Relying on the Faith of Treaties abroad, and
the Obligation of Oaths at home, we were quite
deftkute of Forces, when the late Earl of Mar, by
rebelling againft his Maker and his King, in Fa-
vour
( 17 )
vour of Popery and the Church, became the Dar-
ling of our genuine Parfons, who prefently voted
him a righteous Inftrument in the Hand of Frovi-
dence y to bring in the Pretender, and refcue them
from the infupportable Ties of Faith and Morali-
ty, a Burthen which neither they nor their Vredecejfors
ever would bear. And it muft be own'd, they had
then a tempting Opportunity to avow publickly
their long and conftant Perjury and Expectations,
without any apparent Danger of temporal Lofs
(a Consideration always uppermoft with them)
and yet they were fo cautious as only to mutter;
their Hopes privately to all the World-
The fame French Forces which had fo long
contended the Prize with all Europe, had now no-
thing elfe to do but to break the Peace, and pleafe
the Parfons, and replant Tyranny and Roman
Orthodoxy amongft Us.
Here was now a pleafing Profpect for the
Church. Mar had a large Army of invincible High'
landers } a formidable Invafion from abroad daily
threatened us ; we had Tumults, Madnefs, Con-
fufion and Disaffection in every Parifh in the Na-
tion, and in every County a Rifing was fear'd
and expe&ed ; and in fhort, things were running
into a total DifTolution. So much had our peace*
jul Clergy done, and fo much had they to hope
from their own Doings. The Church was very
cock-a-hoop, and held up ks Head and crow'd.
By their Behaviour and Affurance, I dare pro-
nounce that thefe pious t°i ace- ma ken and Ambajja-
dors of the meek jcfus t would not have taken a
Compofition of three Parts in four of the Church-
Land for their Hopes of the Pretender and the
whole. They were even fure of their Point.
There is a Parfon in Somerfetftire (to name no
more) who from the Revolution had rav'd every
C Sua,
(iS )
Sunday with great Zeal and Devotion againft
Foreigners. He had fworn to King William, and
hated hirrij and fpread the fame Hatred through
the whole Parifh, every one of whom he had de-
bauch'd with Drunkennefs and Difloyalty. Up-
on his Majefty's Acceffion, he likewife fwore to
him and abus'd him, renewing with greater Vi-
rulence than ever his Imprecations upon Foreig-
ners. In one of his Sermons he had this Expref-
ffdtt i Suppofe the Time fhould come when wejball have
a King that does not under ft and the Common Prayer,
vthat think we will become of the poor Church t This
excellent Chriftian, when he thought the Invafi-
on and t)efolation, which he had long wilhed to
his native Country, were at hand, began to tell
his People, that there was a wide Difference between
fome Foreigners and others, and that as they ought to
abhor, and even deftroy, fuch of them as were the of en
or ftcret Enemies of the Church, fo it was their Duty to
honour and entertain, and even to divide their Subftance
with fuch Foreigners as came to fave it. This was
Hint enough, and the Doclrine was fo clear, that
a pretty young Girl ask'd her Mother, who had
as much Knowledge as her felf, Whether thefe brave
OutlanJifo Men would marry with us poor Englijh
Folk?
With fuch fort of Management it is no wonder
that the poor Orthodox Vulgar are work'd up
into the greateft Credulity and Rage. I have met
with fome of them who thought it no Sin to
murder the Hanoverians, for that, they faid, they
were Men- Eaters : And when I ask'd them how
they came to know fo much of the Hanoverians,
they anfwer*d, Ob, our Parfon has told us enough of
they 1 Nay, fome of them believe that his Maje-
fty eat up all the Children he ever had, except
the Prince, and they pretend to tell you how
His
( 19)
His Royal Highnefs was faved from the fame
Fate.
To fome of the Clergy alone appertains the fa-
cred Right of doing well by deceiving, and of
promoting Ruin, Ignorance and War for the
Prosperity of the Church ; and fuch are the Men
whom the Nation pays to propagate Truth and
Morality, and maintain Peace-
I will not here pretend to make an exa# Com-
putation and Comparison between the Number of
the well affe&ed and ill affeded Parts of the Cler-
gy ; but I am not at all appriz'd that I wrong
them, if I venture to fay, that not one in feven
of thefe confcientious Paftors open'd his Mouth
againft the late Rebellion in the Weftern Coun-
ties.
In the Pulpit they either fay nothing of his
prefent Majefty, or that which is much worfe
than nothing ; whereas in the late Reign they
were fo blafphemoufly loyal, that they feem'd to
have forgot Jefus Chrift, to preach up the
Q n.
But I was faying, that at one JunBure, I mean
during the Rebellion, the Hopes and Views of
our Genuine Clergy were in a promifing Pofture,
and very near fulfilling, and many of them were
fo difcerning as to fee the Finger of God in the
Rebellion, and they became Sureties every where
for Providence, that it would go through with
the Work which they had begun. But Providence
had deferred them, and has never returned fince.
And thus Providence refufes to aid, though fo
often commanded, the lntereft of Perjury and
Rebellion, though they are both fo evidently for
the Good of the Church.
1 do not know whether they may not, in their
private Junto's and Cabals, have come to a Refo-
C 2 lution,
( *0 )
lutioft, that Providence is a Schifmatick ; and
the more, becaufe it is plain, that both Provi-
dence, and the Author of Providence, are irre-
claimable DhTenters from the Principles and Pra-
ctices of High- Church. They feem to be fo fen-
fible of this, that they have long fince difplac'd
the Almighty, as much as in them lies, from any
Power or Concernment in this World or the other,
having dubb'd themfelves Gods and Forgivers ;
and exercifing with Authority all the great Offi-
ces of Omnipotence.
The Bifhop of Bangor too, is the Occafion of
no fmall Terror to the Church, and in Confede-
racy with her mortal Foes ; marching, as he does,
at the Head of Truth, Reafon, Scripture and
Sincerity, and the like fanatical Fellows, who
have the Herefy and Impudence to efpoufe an
Intereft diametrically oppofite to that of the Con-
vocation.
This ill advis'd Bifliop is fo romantick and fro-
ward, as to think, that the Clergy ought to de-
part from feveral Points, which, though they are
bloody Antagonifts to the Spirit of the Gofpel,
yet do evidently tend to the Glory of the Church.
His Lcrdmip ridiculoufly believes, that when a
Man is a good Man, though in this Particular he
differs widely from the Parfons, yet God will have
Mercy upon him. But, to filerice this perverfe
Writer for ever, let him know that theft Clergy
have endeavoured to pluck God's own Keys out
of his Hands, and to hinder him from (hewing
Mercy, or opening Paradife, if he would. They
like Sim Cures fo well, that they have a Mi<d to
make the Almighty's Government a Sim Cure
too. Are not fuch Priefts brave Fellows, who
would make their Maker a Minor, snd them-
felves his Directors and Guardians?- When his
Lord-
(21 )
Lordlhip isinform'd of this, I hope he will drop
the Controverfy.
The Biftiop is alfo grievoufly deceiv'd in ano-
ther Inftance ; He is of Opinion that the Clergy
ought to be the Propagators and Defenders of
Liberty and the Gofpel. See here the Ignorance
of a Father of the Church ! He does not know
that Chriftianity may be at the laft Gafp, and
yet-the Church in a moft flourishing Condition.
1 could mention many more Miftakes of the
Bifliop's ,• and particularly he is fo ill a Church-
man, as to think there is fome Force in Oaths,
and that they who take them (hould not altogether
break them. But as his Lordlhip is out-voted,
upon this Article, by a vajl Majority of moft Or-
thodox Teachers, I take it he deferves no other
Confutation : Befides, this is a fort of Reafon-
ing which he is us'd to-
There is no doubt a very good Reafon to be
given, why thefe Reverend Examples of Truth
and Piety play with Oaths, and call upon the
tremendous Name of God to a Lie. They them-
felves fay it is for Bread, though fome others
think it is for Drink. However that be, it is plain
Perjury is but a fmall Fault, if any. Nowfup-
pofe His Majefty, taught by the Church, (hould
break his Oath, and fcize irs Pofleffions, I know
the Parfons are fo reafcntble a Sort of People,
that they would never upbraid His Majefty for
walking in tbeir Steps, and being forfworn. But
I doubr, His Majefty is fo much of a King, and
aChriftian, that he will never be brought to fol-
low his Clergy in this Path.
Before I luve done with this Head, I muft
give the Parfons one Caution. 1 beg them for the
Time ro come, never ro upbraid any Body with
the Practice of Occafional Conformity ; fince
probably
( «)
probably fome bitter Presbyterian, who does not
honour the Cloth, may give them to underftand,
that it is almofi as innocent to take the Church-Sacra-
ment for a Ylace y as it is to he forjworn for a Living,
The Happinefs of Mankind is moreover a
great and powerful Antagonift to the Church.
Here in England we enjoy fuch a (hameful
Share of Wealth and Liberty, that itisnoWon^
der at all our Clergy are perpetually grumbling.
If we were but fo reafonable and orthodox as to
part with all our Subftance and Privileges to them,
it is almoft probable, that thefe our good Guides
to Mifery and Salvation, would grow content
and eafy, which it is impoffible for Men of their
Spirit and Pretentions to be ; fo long as we are
fo faucy and heterodox as to be rich and free.
In the Territories of the Church abroad, the
Priefts enjoy the great good Fortune of having
never a happy Layman under their Dominion ;
and having befide, the Power of Fire and Sword,
there is not a fingle Schifmatick, nor the Appear-
ance of Herefy and Knowledge amongft them ;
but Church-Affairs go on in a bleffed Courfe of
Tyranny, Sodomy, and Stupidity, without Rub
or Disturbance. Can any one wonder that our
zealous Clergy are tempted to an Imitation of
fuch a pious Pattern of genuine Church-Power and
Plenty, where the Bible is locked up, and the
Laity ftarve ?
The Nature of our Government and Conftitu-
tion, brings alfo no frnall Danger to the Church.
In this Country the Orthodox Clergy cannot ex-
communicate and damn a Man, but prefently the
Heterodox Law grants him a Replevin. Befides,
we have feveral other Bars to the Felicity of the
Church : We have a Parliament, and we have
Trade, and, which is worfe than ail, the Con-
vocation
( 2? )
vocation cannot do what they pleafe, and the
King will not part with his Prerogative to pro-
rogue them. So that the Law on one Side, and
the Prerogative on the other, grind the poor Church
between the upper and the nether Mil ft one, as Mr. Leflie
emphatically complains.
There is one Inftance particularly, in which
the Prerogative bears hard upon the Church. The
Parfons, you muft know, to prove themfelves a
well-born People, go for their Parentage feven-
teen hundred Years backwards, and father them-
felves upon the A9o(lles. Now not being able to
prove this, either by Record, or Refemblance, they
have given Occafion to fome profane Folks to al-
ledge, that the Priefts muft needs be Baftards,
becau/e their Parents utterly difoivn them, and they
are kept by the Parijb. But they, on the other hand,
fcorning to part with their Apoftolick Birth, have
forged out a vaft Chain, long enough to hold t^n
Millions of Foxes, and this they call the Chain
of Succefjion ; one End of which is tied to the Apo*
files, and the other to themfelves • and it reaches
from Jerufalem to Lambeth, taking Rome in its
Way. This is an important, and even miraculous
Chain •, for, though it has frequently been broke,
and there are Gaps in it feventy Years long, yet
it has never been ence interrupted to this Day. It is
like Milton s Bridge, built by Siwand Death over the
Chaos, wonderful and inttifible. It is pity this Ca-
ble-rope of Succeflion mould lie thus incog, when,
in the Opinion of High-Church, the whole Hie-
rarchy hangs by it. It is, therefore, no wonder
they maintain it with moft Apoftolick Wrath and
Obftinacy.
But even here now, in the momentous Point of
Succeflion, the Prerogative breaks in upon the
CafTock, and the King ; who is but a Lay-man,
creates
(•4)
creates Bifhops, and, by this A& of his, does, as
it were, beget Sons and Heirs to the Apoftles. This
is a fad Encroachment upon the Privileges of
the Parfons, who have, doubrlefs, a Divine Right
to breed each other. I know they pretend they ftill
chufe their Bilhops, and, on that Occafion mock
God with Prayers, as if they really did. Thus
an Apothecary's Boy, or an old Woman, by or-
der of the Do&or, adminiftersa Clyfter*, and,
if a Cure enfues, the Boy or the old Woman was,
forfooth, the Phyfician.
There are many other Faults in our Laws, in
Relation to the Church, of which the Priefthood.
have juft Reafon to complain. Smithfield is turn'd
into a meer Market, where Bullocks are butch-
er'd injiead of Hereticks, and the Clergy are never
again like to be complimented with a Burnt Offer-
ing from thence ,• and a DiiTenter may now be fo
faucy as to worfhip God, and the Parfon cannot
punifh him for it j and the Laity are fufrer'd to
believe, that the revealed Will of God is not hid ;
and thereis a dangerous Opinion prevailing among
us, that the Almighty "will not tumble us into Hell, for
Sincerity , and well-meaning: And, to add no more*
the Clergy have not the Government of all
Things.
The next Thing I (hall mention, which has
adminifter'd great Grief and Danger to the Church,
is, the High Duty upon French Wine and Brandy,
This Grievance is fufficient to make all the genuine
Tarfons in England Malecontents. For, though
they drink Malt Liquor in great Quantities, and
though that be of a windy Nature, and is a great
Help to Zeal, yet a Dram is the Life of Orthodoxy ,
and Claret is clear Wit, to ufe their own waggim
Stile. I know a Parfon who drinks nothing but
Small Beer, and he is a Whig, as one may eafiiy
imagine.
(*0
imagine, and unlefs he change his Liquor in Or-
der to change his Principles, he is like to conti-
nue a Whig till Doomfday. So much does the
Church lofe by a fiber Son !
Another Caufe from which the genuine Church-
men are in great Danger, is, a Reformation of
Manners, which would ftrip them of many pret-
ty Liberties, and force upon them the Bitterness of
Morality, which is too ftrong Meat for tbefe Babes.
As Orthodoxy and Le-wdnefs are often the lovingeft
Neighbours in the World, it muft needs go to
their Heart to be parted.
In Popifh Countries, for Example, where the
Clergy often fall into fuch Carnal Crimes and Co-
pulations, as our fpotlefs Society of Saints here at home
do abhor ; Would it not be a heavy Judgment up-
on a pious ?rie(t to be ftripp'd at once of his Whore
and his Altar ? And then, Would not an Embargo
on Toping, in the fame Countries, have an Af-
pe& every Bit as terrible towards the Church ?
For, there are, beyond Sea, fuch Monfiers as drunk"
en Priefis ', though my Countrymen, who never
fee fuch Sights here in England, may imagine I
talk wildly. And now for an honed tipling Prie/t %
who would as freely fuffer Death as Thirft, to be
thus reformed out of his Bottle, and divorced from
his croney Barrel, would be downright Perfection,
and wound the Church through his Sides,
A Reformation is likewife fo tyrannical and
hard hearted, as to oblige the Clergy to live as if
there was really fomething in Religion, befide
Farce and Tithes j and it expe&s too that thefe fpi-
1 itual Militia, fhould be, at leaft, now and then
upon Duty, and not live idle above fix Days in
feven, and upon the feventh, not above nineteen
Hours in four and twenty.
P Befides,
( *6 )
Befides, a Reformation would be for reviving
the Force of Scripture Laws, which bear Won-
drous hard upon the Clergy. I remember, par-
ticularly, the third Chapter to Timothy lays fuch
intolerable Injunctions and Reftraints upon them,
as muft needs be as far from the Liking of the ge-
nuine Parfons, as I am fure they are from their
Practice •, for the forefaid Chapter expects they"
lhould be no Brawlers, nor Strikers, nor greedy of filthy
Lucre, nor given to Wine ; nor lifted up -with Pride '•
hut, on the contrary, that they (Isould be blamelefsj vU
gilant,fober, of good Behaviour, and apt to teach *, and
I know not how many more Impoffibilities.
A Gehtleman in this City, whofe Heart is fet
upon a Reformation of Manners, gave me not
long ago, thdPerufalof his Creed, Out of which
I drew the following, dangerous Pofitions, and
now I publifli i them, that the genuine Clergy may
guard againfi them.
i. He believes that a Man may be faved by ad-
hering to naked Truth and plain Religion.
2. That it is not damnable, not to believe what
we cannot believe.
;. That Chriftianity is as good a Man as Or-
thodoxy, javing the Judgment of the Clergy.
1 4. That it is poflible for a Paftor to have Grace
in his Heart, though he has ne'er a Rofe in his
Pat, and that he may tell Truth, and inftruct the
People, though he be not wrapped up in twenty
EUs of Holland.
* $, That an innocent Infant may be faved, with-
out a Parfon's dropping Water upon its Face. ;
: 6- That a well difpofed Perfon may eat Bread,
and drink Wine, in Remembrance of our Saviour's
Death, without the Prieft's Form of Words, which
yet do not change the Elements, which yet are a pro-i
fer Sacrifice, which yet is not Flejh and Blood.
r ••'■*'■"*. ' 7° Thsr.
< 2 7)
7. That God may poflibly pardon a repenting
Sinner, though the Parfon do not abfolutely give
his Confent, and order him fo to do.
8. Thac a Man may venture to underftand the
under (laudable Parts of Scripture.
9. That there is fuch a Thing as a fcrupulous
Confcience j With Submijfion to the Parfons.
10. That a Man may keep his Oath to King
George, and yet not be damn'd for it ; again jawing
the Opinion and Prattice of High-Church. ,
11. That the Clergy, as well as others, would
be better, if they had fewer Faults.
12. That Diffenters are our Fellow- Creatures*
1%. That Religion is a Rational Thing.
My Acquaintance above-mention'd holds all
thefe and more fuch heretical Notions, which^
were they tolerated, would bring no fmall Dangec
to the Church. But, I hope, her genuine Sons wilt
continue their Zeal, and defend her againft them
all.
Among many other Caufes which I could af-«
fign for the Danger of the Church, I (hall men-,
tion but two ,• and thefe are two Holy Days, the
zothof January, and the 29^ o/May; a Couple
of Days that fend many a pious Prieft to meet
his Fate. Then it is that our Orthodox Parfons
exert their Wrath and Eloquence with huge Might
and Snc:efi.. They demolifh the Whigs, and then
kill themfelves with Joy and Drinking. Cups and
Caroufals, fucceed to Zeal and Scolding, and
many an able-bodied Lcvite facrifices his Sobri-
ety and his Tabernacle, to the Health and Con-
fufion of the Church and Low-Church-Men.,
They fend Diffenters to the Devil, but go firft
themfelves, to tell him they are coming.
Thus half the gmuint Clergy lay Hands uport
themfelves, and pour their own Deaths down
D 2 <hei<
OS)
their Throats. Some of them depart fpiced with
right Nantz,, others fows'd in Oflober y lome pick-
led in Florence, and many fteep'd in Oxford-Ale*
Ah tbefe drunken Holy days ! (fays my witty Friend,
Dr. By field) no Body gets by them but Lucifer and the
Excifemen, They have turnd the whole Tear into an
idle Jubilee , and the Common-Prayer- Book into an Al-
manack, I hate their fuperftitious Trumpery*— -* It is
only the Whore of Babylon in an Englifli V ixjor, and
the Pope in a Periwig. I remember the Time, when
Wt neither minded Surplices nor Saints Days ; and then I
Drunkennefs was fent to the Stocks, and Whoring to
the Houfe of Ccrreclion. But now ! the Triefis are
gone aft ray, and the People folkw them.
I am acquainted with a Roficrucian in this Town,
who holds a Correfpondence with the other World,
and in it with Hugh Peters particularly, from whom
he lately received the following Epiftle, a Copy
of which he gave me. As it is the neweft and beft
Apology that ever was made for Drunkennefs, I
chearfully publifli it, for the peculiar Service of my
Ecclefiafticdl Clients.
To the truly illuminate, and fublimate by the Sym-
phony of the Spirit of Ejfence, bright above Brightness,
and Bloffcm of invifibk Knowledge, Jacob Fitz Beh-
men, hving in the World ,• Hugh Peters, a vifiona-
ry EleB, wijheth Perpetuity of Permanence.
c You tell me that your Friend, the Doclor,
€ drinks and decays apice, and that we Ghofts may
* foon exped his Company, he being already al-
c moft one of us. I am glad of the News, and
* (hall be pleas'd to fee him. But I cannot with
* you condemn him for fwallowing fo much Bran-
s dy and Wine : On the contrary, I applaud
* him, for his artful Seafoning of himfelf with
1 hot Liquors for his Removal into this warm
* Climate, where, let me tell you, 'tis Dog-days
4 ail the Year, ! It
(29)
* It was for want of this extreme UnBUn, that
Julius Ctfar (the fobereft Tyrant and Whore-
mafter in the World) was plagued with the dry
Gripes half a Century after his Arrival on this
fide the Grave. Alexander the Great, by Re-
port, was wifer, for 'tis a Tradition here, that
his Ghoft came reeking from a drunken Feaft,
like a Butterfly preferved in Spirit of Wine.
* Many great Men, and Judges of the Earth, have
tried the fame Expedient with comfortable Suc-
cefs : But above all other Species of Mortals the
Reverend the Clergy, my Brother-Trade, who
underftand their Intereft in the upper World, the
beft of all other Chara&ers or Crafts whatfo-
ever, are not wanting in Forefight and Sagacity
to fortify themfelves with hot Liquors and hot
Sermons, againft the Influence of this hot Re-
gion. You know while they are in your World y
they are great Monopolizers of Fire and Brim-
ftone, and when they come hither we do not
grudge them their own Commodity.
1 It is from this Tribe of Men chiefly we have
an Account of what is doing on the funny Side of
the Globe; for, being all profefs'd Politicians and
Newfmongers, we find them the beft Intelligen-
cers imaginable. Befides, they are conflantly
coming, and by that Means, we never want Ad-
vices. So that whenever we fpy a black Ghoft
ftalking towards the Ferry, we all cry out, with
one Mouth, a Mail from Mankind I
4 At all Seafons of the Year we have them pretty
thick; but ic is incredible what Gluts of them
arrive a few Dayt after the \ofh ^/January, and
the ijtbof May. And the Reafon is obvious \
for
Here Friend Hugh falls into the fame Obferva-
tions which I have already made, and (hews, be-
yond
( JO )
yoftd Contradiction, how his Brother-Trade, as he
calls them, kill chemfelves wirh Preaching and
Debauchery, ac thefe High-Church Tides. Nothing
fo quickly deftroys the Conftitution, and the Un*
derftanding, as Brandy, and Tobacco, and Zeal.
I have now, I may mode ft ly boa ft, fully prov'd
the Danger of the Church ; and, by affigning
the true Caufes of that Danger, I am the only Ad-
vocate {he has, who have not lyed upon this Occa-
fion, feeing all the numerous Affertors of her holy
Verily who went before me, do, in the Account
they give thereof, fib moft outragioufiy ; though I,
who am not of their Order, dare by no Means fay
fo. Thefe Men lay all the Blame of this Matter
upon Infidels and profane Perfons , but I can never
Join with them in fuch an unreafonable Charge £
for I cannot think it at all likely that the Clergy
would wilfully murder their own Mother, and fo be*
guilty of Manfiaughter.
My next Task is to prove, that the Church ought
to be in Danger, and this I fhall do by mewing, that
jjhe gets by it.
Pity is a potent Paffion, and whoever has the
Art of gaining it, feldom fails to draw our Af-
fections along with it. Now the Church having
no other Way of being belov'd but to be pitied, me
muft, in Order to that, appear exceeding misera-
ble and woful.
Mifery is often the greateft, and fometimes, the
only Merit, which attends Perfons and Things :
For Proof of this, I never faw a Rogue going to
be hanged, though ever fo wicked and ugly, but
he was firft pitied, and then praifed ; efpecially by
the Women, who have a ftrange Biafs to weeping
and being dtccivd.
Hence it proceeded, that when the Doctor and
his High-Church were both thought in a hopeful
Way
( JI )
Way to the Gallows, our Orthodox Compaflion got
the better of our Heretical Reafon, and the Cbampi&n
merited our Mercy, meerly bv meriting a Halter.
The Church, therefore, if (he would be fafe,muft
be always in Danger ; while (he is fo, our Concern
for the old Woman in Diftrefs, will throw Duft in
the Eyes of our Underftanding, and effe&ually
prevent a Difcovery of her Nakednefs and Wrinkles.
1 And now, to conclude, what remains but that
the Danger of the Church, which is grown fo ne-
ceiTary to her well being, be eftablifhed by a Ca-
non, and made the thirty tenth Article of her Faith, to
be believed on Pain of Damnation ? In the mean
whilei let me aflame to my felf the juft Glory of
having ftarted the Defign of fuch an Article, by
(hewing its ReafonabUnefs..
Laftly, loving Reader, let me acquaint thee in st
few Words, with my own Ufefulnefs and Impor-
tance, which makes me, indeed, a little proud,
but not a Bit vain.
And in the firft Place, I have written a match-
lefs Defence of Prieftcraft, a Task never attempted
before. And yet the Mafiers and Guardians of that
noble Science, have proved but unthankful Clients,
and even rail'd at me, their Apologift, mod unmer-
* cifully, and indeed unanfwerablj. But I have al-
ways obferved, that Orthodoxy has admirable Talents
for jelling of Oyfters. I am, in particular, beholden
to a great Doclor, famous for Paunch and Princi-
ples, who preach'd a whole Sermon againft me,
in which he foam'd and revil'd, beyond a Poffibi-
lityof Reply. Lord love him, if foffible, it is the
only Way of Reafoning he knows.
I have likewife been moft chriftianly cun'd in
many other Pulpits, with the fame Force of Bit-
ternefs and Lungs. Blefs me, that my loving
fr'ujtlj Friendf will not be taught more Wit ! I had
been rallying a Sort of Men who arc very fad Fel-
low*,
lows, tod fhameful Enemies to Confcience, Truth, and their
Country ; and prefently up ftart the Lord's AmbaiTadors,
and cry, we are the Men, damn the Author. At fuch odds
are they with common Senfe, and the Mercy of God I
Secondly, I have convinced feveral Laymen, that there is
another God lefide the Clergy, tho' they had lived long in Ig-
jiorance as to that Point. And I have Advice From divers
Counties in England, that when the Parfons cock their Bea-
vers, and give themfelves Airs, the Country Folks cut them
down with a Text out of Parfon Alberonu When a Vicar in
Rent the other Day, Cent his Clerk to a fer.fi ble Clown in the
Parifli, to demand bisEaJler-Dues on Pain of Excommunication,
What, fays Halph to Sternhold, I warrant ye, you come Am-
Jrajfador now from the Lord's Receiver General, don t you ? And
the chief Inhabitants of a Pariflj in Surry, have fenta Letter
to their Doftor here in Town, begging him, if his Belly be
not too full, to come down and p/eaofa among them, and
jiot to affront them any longer with his Journeyman.
Thirdly, I have conferr'd Reputation upon fix and fifty
Authors, every one of whom was gracioufiy pleas'd to write
nty Book afrer it was in Print, and they are heattiiy welcome.
All their other Works, when once they got into che Corner
of a Bookfeller's Shop,,gmr rickety for want of handling, and
lo could never travel over the Counter, till a Grocer's Prentice
carried away the lelplefs Creatures in a charitable Wheel-har-
row, Seven of thefe worthy Gentlemen, and one of them a
grave Counfellor in the Temple, confefs'd to me that they
■were the Authors of the Apology^ but modeftly begg'd me
not to difcover them. I rauft however thank the bountiful
^lr. P H , for his uncommon Goodnefs in adopting
my poor fatberlefs Child, as foon as it was brought forth into
the publick. I fear it is more than ever I (hall be able to*
do for one of lis.
I am told that one of thefe Fathers of my Pmfhlet, threat-
ens to break Squares with the Court, becaufe they have not
yet rewarded him with a tho&fand Pounds a Year. But, I
doubt, this ingenious Pilferer of my Parts and Performance,
is too hafly. Why, even J, who have written full four
Half-Sheets, for the Good of my 'felf and my Country, am
not yet Lord Hij;h Admiral, ror have fo much as the Prof-
fer of a Blue Garter ; which fo difcontents me, that I wiU
write no more thefe three Days ; but then I will let about
my Apology for great Men, in which I will prove them to be
the civillefl Creatures breathing lo their own publick Per font.
Reader, Adieu, for a Fortn'ght.
P.S. I acknowledge the former Part cf this Book has been hid
at the Door of a Gentleman or two, whofe Names do vie lln %u>.
I wifb they rmy be as well pleas'd on this Qctafon m I am,
* I N I S
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