GUINEVERE'S 
 LOVER 
 
 ELINOR
 
 lirs. P. A. Bis'aardson 
 
 129 N.Kenwood St. 
 
 Glendale, Cal.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER
 
 GUINEVERE'S 
 LOVER 
 
 . BY 
 
 n 
 
 ELINOR GLYN 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 THE REASON WHY, HIS HOUR, ETC. 
 
 1^? g& 
 
 Po*> d^ 
 gxocs 
 
 o)3<o 
 
 N EW YORK 
 
 GROSSET & DUNLAP 
 
 PUBLISHERS
 
 COPYBIGHT, 1913, BY 
 
 D. APPLETON AND COMPANY 
 
 Copyright, 1912-1913, by the STAR Co. 
 
 "Guinevere's Lover" is called in England "The Sequence."
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 2135775
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 CHAPTER I 
 APRIL 1905 
 
 nALF an hour ago the butler announced, " Sir 
 Hugh Dremont." 
 I was helping Harriet, the head housemaid, 
 to arrange the ground-floor library curtains 
 as I liked, and was up on the step-ladder, quite unpre- 
 pared for visitors, but Harriet went out of the room 
 hurriedly and I got down and shook hands. 
 
 " I have disturbed you," Sir Hugh said, but he 
 made no apology, so I answered as well as I could. 
 
 " You are such a near neighbor. I am very glad to 
 see you won't you sit down? " 
 
 He looked bored, but he sank inflb one of the uncom- 
 fortable chairs. 
 
 ** I did not know if you were ready to receive visitors 
 yet," he said, " but I was riding past, and was only 
 going to leave a card, when your servant said you were 
 at home." 
 
 " I am arranging this room," I answered. " The 
 house has been neglected for so long. My husband has 
 not been here for twenty years, and I had never seen it 
 before a fortnight ago, when we came."
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 We said a few more ordinary things, and I had time 
 to take in his appearance. 
 
 He is very tall and thin, and stoops rather, whicK 
 is what I do not like, his face is as stern as a face can 
 be, and he has very small whiskers, cut very close, 
 which give him a strange, old-fashioned look. One ex- 
 pects to see a stock. His nose is large and rather 
 aquiline, and his eyes are large and deeply set, but 
 I do not know of what color they are dark-blue 
 or gray, I expect. He looks indifferent and disagree- 
 able. 
 
 He must be at least thirty-five, because I remember 
 Humphrey speaking of his coming of age, as an event 
 which took place just before our marriage, and that 
 will be fourteen years ago this May. 
 
 It is absurd that I should find thirty-five old, con- 
 sidering that I am nearly thirty-one myself, but I have 
 never had anything but old people about me who are 
 cross or tired of life, and I long for something young 
 and joyous, who still believes in things. 
 
 Algernon is only thirteen, but he does not believe in 
 very much more than Humphrey does. They are dis- 
 tressingly alike, my son and his father. Sir Hugh did 
 not seem to be taking much interest in our conversa- 
 tion. He stared out of the window most of the time, 
 and then he said suddenly: 
 
 " There is the General coming across the courtyard. 
 By Jove ! How little changed he is ! " 
 
 My gaze followed his, and it seemed that I took in 
 Humphrey with fresh eyes, and I realized it was true, 
 for except that his hair is white in places, and his 
 glance is more fierce, and the sardonic expression round 
 his mouth is now cut in two deep lines, he does not look 
 yery different from the beau sdbreur, whom my father 
 
 a
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 brought into the schoolroom, and afterwards told me I 
 was to marry in a few weeks. 
 
 Humphrey was forty-five then, and I was nearly 
 seventeen. But I always hate to think of those old 
 days. How frightened I was of him and am still ! 
 
 His rasping voice and arrogant martinet manner 
 have increased with time. My sister Letitia says he 
 was very attractive when I married him, and had been 
 the lover of a number of desirable women, but I never 
 was able to see his charm. 
 
 " You have been out of England for years, have you 
 not? " Sir Hugh asked, as Humphrey disappeared 
 from view, going to the entrance. " And your tenants 
 were seldom here. The villagers will be glad you have 
 come back at last." 
 
 " Humphrey always said a home was a discourage- 
 ment to his military duty," I answered, " and he would 
 not return until he was free. Then since he left the 
 Army we have wandered about abroad for the last three 
 years, because the Morleys' lease was not yet up but 
 now, I suppose we shall remain here for the rest of our 
 lives ! " 
 
 " This part of the world is very isolated. You will 
 find there are hardly any neighbors, and only one or 
 two of the old people left, besides myself," and Sir 
 Hugh looked at me suddenly, and showed singularly 
 strong white teeth, as he smiled a little. Perhaps he is 
 not so disagreeable, after all. 
 
 " I like solitude. That is why I spend so much time 
 at Minton Dremont," he went on. " Your husband is 
 such an old friend of mine. I hope you will come and 
 dine with me some day soon." 
 
 At that moment, Humphrey opened the door, and 
 came in with a crisp, hearty greeting.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 They talked about the world they knew, and then 
 of horses, and what were the hunting prospects of next 
 sason, and what had been the record of last. 
 
 It must be nice to have some absorbing interest like 
 that, which makes you friendly with people at once, 
 and bridges the years. I felt stupid and stiff while I 
 spoke to Sir Hugh alone. I have always been obliged 
 to conceal my real feelings and tastes, and never have 
 been allowed to enjoy them, so that now I seem always 
 to wear a mask, and answer like an automaton. 
 
 Humphrey speaks of everything as his never ours. 
 To hear him you would think he was the only person 
 in the case. He is going to have this or that tree cut 
 down. He is going to do so and so with the garden. 
 
 " I hope I shall soon be settled comfortably ; and 
 then my wife and I will dine with pleasure," he said 
 finally, and Sir Hugh prepared to go. 
 
 " It is awfully interesting, this house," he told me, 
 as we walked with him through the vaulted stone pas- 
 sage to the entrance hall, " full of histories and thrill- 
 ing stories. We are very proud of it in the neighbor- 
 hood, on account of its age.'* 
 
 Humphrey stalked on ahead. 
 
 " I hate old houses," I said, as we shook hands. " I 
 hate everything old Good-bye." 
 
 Sir Hugh looked at me curiously, and the first gleam 
 of fugitive interest came into his eyes. 
 
 And now I am awaiting the arrival of Letitia my 
 brilliant and successful sister Letitia, who is not afraid 
 of Humphrey or of anything in the world. 
 
 Letitia came in her motor. She always has the latest 
 tking, and although she is ten years older than I am,
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 no one would ever know it. I wish I saw her oftener. 
 She brings me such glimpses of the world, and is so 
 deliciously selfish and sensible and up to date. 
 
 I disliked her when I was a child after our mother 
 died when I was ten, and she was twenty, and I was so 
 glad when she made that brilliant marriage, and we 
 saw no more of her. She was reluctantly going to , 
 bring me out in my eighteenth year ; then Hum- 
 phrey took this wild infatuation for me, and she and 
 my father married me off to him at once, four weeks 
 before I was seventeen. Humphrey is rich and very 
 careful with his money, and I have hardly anything of 
 my own, that is why I am so humble, I suppose. 
 
 " My dearest girl," Letitia said. " You do waste 
 yourself more than ever ; it makes me cross each time 
 I see you. You are extraordinarily attractive-looking, 
 you know, Guinevere, with your demure air and rebel- 
 lious gleam in the eyes, and, although you are nearly 
 thirty-one, you look a mere girl. I can't think how 
 you keep so slender. If you were only better dressed 
 I do not know any one who could have so much suc- 
 cess.'* 
 
 I smiled what else could I do ? 
 
 " Yes, I know," she went on. " Humphrey did keep 
 you absolutely shut up with his old sisters all those 
 first years of your marriage after you found India did 
 not suit you. It must have been insufferable, of course, 
 but since he left the Army, you have wandered about 
 abroad at all events you might have picked up a 
 more alive look." 
 
 " I have never been out in the street alone even," I 
 said, " and I have never been allowed to talk to a man 
 or have any intimate friends one atrophies after a 
 time." 
 
 5
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " It is quite ridiculous ! " Letitia exclaimed, startled, 
 as though she suddenly realized something for the first 
 time. 
 
 " We have all looked upon you as a child, I expect," 
 she said rather hurriedly, " but now you. have come 
 back to England and this charming place, you must 
 wake up and see your kind though how people can 
 live in the country all the year round, I don't know! 
 Neighbors are always duties and bores, and there are 
 not many to amuse you in any case. The Essendens 
 are too far off, and the Perwoods too poor, but Hum- 
 phrey's land touches Minton Dremont. Have you met 
 him yet Hugh Dremont? " 
 
 " Yes, he came to call just now." 
 
 " What do you think of him? " 
 
 " He is rather disagreeable-looking, and it is so 
 odd in these days having those whiskers." 
 
 " You perfect goose ! " and Letitia laughed. " If 
 you only knew the world a little better, you would 
 know that is just his chic. He wears them because he 
 wants to. He does not care a farthing what any one 
 thinks of him. He is the most utterly unapproachable, 
 cynical, attractive creature imaginable. I have not a 
 friend who has not tried her hand at him, and he is 
 perfectly brutal in his methods with them, or used to 
 be. He has almost retired into his shell in these last 
 two years. It is perhaps your luck that you have 
 come to live near him " 
 
 " I did not find him attractive," I said, and then 
 wondered if I were telling the truth. 
 
 Letitia leant back and laughed, but she did not con- 
 tinue the subject. 
 
 " I can only spare these two nights with you, pet," 
 she announced, " just long enough to tell you what 
 
 6
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 you must have done to this place to make it habitable, 
 and then I must tear on to town. In all the many 
 times I have stayed at Minton Dremont, I have never 
 been over here the Morleys were such impossible 
 people. But you must do it up properly." 
 
 " There is no use your telling me anything, Letitia," 
 I informed her. " You must use your clever way with 
 Humphrey when you make him think he has sug- 
 gested what you want and that you are against it, he 
 gives in sometimes. I have no influence with him." 
 
 Letitia kissed me lightly as she got up from her chair. 
 " Poor little Guinevere," she said. " It is quite time 
 you were rescued." Then she asked in a different tone: 
 
 " How is Algernon? " 
 
 " You will see him to-morrow. He has not gone back 
 to his school," I told her. " He goes to Eton in the 
 autumn half." 
 
 " Children are sometimes a frightful bore. I'm so 
 thankful Langthorpe is so devoted to his nephew. He 
 has never regretted our having none. Algernon is too 
 like Humphrey to be altogether a comfort." 
 
 " Yes," I allowed. 
 
 " I have noticed," she went on, " that when a woman 
 is passionately in love, the child is the image of what 
 she thinks the man is or, if she is as you were, 
 Guinevere unknowing and uncaring the child is 
 like the man with his worst qualities, if the man is a 
 self-centred creature like Humphrey. Strong natures 
 produce some definite thing. Humphrey reproduced 
 himself, you being practically a nonentity in the af- 
 fair." 
 
 " Probably." 
 
 " Guinevere, you are not going to remain a nonentity 
 in life always, are you? " 
 
 7
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOYER 
 
 " I do not know," I said, and then something made 
 me almost cry aloud. " Oh ! if you knew, Letitia, how; 
 I want to live before it is too late ! " 
 
 She looked at me strangely. " The worst of you 
 would be that you would take it too seriously, I fear! 
 You could not frivol, Guinevere, and then you would 
 make a betise and then we should have a family scan- 
 dal." 
 
 But I controlled my momentary emotion and reas- 
 sured her. 
 
 " I have still my sense of humor," I said, " which 
 might help matters. Now, we ought to go and dress." 
 
 At dinner Letitia did her best to charm Humphrey, 
 who was at his gayest. She parried his attacks so 
 sharply that he could not dominate every one and every 
 subject, as usual. She suggested that the house, being 
 so old, we ought to have it done up by some one who 
 really knew of the suitable things for it. But Hum- 
 phrey said he intended to leave it as it is an early 
 Victorian coating over the rooms that his mother lived 
 in, and the rest as cold and bare and ghostly as they 
 had probably been since fifteen hundred and nine, when 
 most of them were built. 
 
 My bedroom looks over the moat which comes under 
 the windows at that side; it was a state room. 
 
 Humphrey has taken his mother's suite, as the fires 
 do not smoke there. They are far away from me on 
 the other side, a wing built on at a Georgian date. I 
 am thankful to say it is now seven years since he has 
 ever suggested being near to me. The house is not 
 enormously large, only dark and queer and imprac- 
 ticable. There is no comfort just tradition and 
 grim darkness, and gloom. 
 
 I wish I might have new hangings for the great oak 
 
 8
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 bed the deep red velvet looks so funereal. I would 
 have chosen another sleeping apartment myself, but 
 that the view from here is so beautiful, when I go into 
 the little round closet which is in the turret ; and I can 
 make it into a sort of retiring room, where I can fly to, 
 away from the noise when Humphrey swears at the 
 servants. He likes state, too, and thinks his wife ought 
 to occupy " My Lady's Chamber." I sometimes won- 
 der if I am afraid of ghosts. There are such queer 
 sounds in the panelling. I have read a number of books 
 lately which say that people leave their impress upon 
 their surroundings, and some part of their spirit comes 
 back to their earthly abodes if they have been wicked 
 and wretched, and this affects the dwellers who now 
 occupy them. All the house is full of bloodshed and 
 crime and cruelty. There cannot be any pleasant in- 
 fluence connected with it. Violent partings of lovers 
 betrayed friends and the Bohuns were Roundheads, 
 too, and in this very room tortured a Cavalier who 
 adored the wife of that Bohun whose portrait hangs 
 over the chimney-piece in the drawing-room. It seems 
 they have periodically liked the idea of being chris- 
 tened Humphrey, though where the connection comes 
 in with the original Humphrey de Bohun I have never 
 heard. Algernon was called Humphrey Algernon, the 
 latter name after my father. He dislikes his new home, 
 Redwood Moat, except that there are such numbers of 
 rats and he has two good terriers. I wish, I wish I 
 could love Algernon as much as I want to. It sounds 
 so ideal a beautiful little son born when the mother 
 was only seventeen, he ought to have been such a 
 plaything for her, unhappy and frightened and cowed 
 as she was then. But she was too young to understand 
 any maternal instincts; he was a terror to her in case 
 
 9
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 anything happened to him. Can that Guinevere of 
 those old days be really me? And then in India I was 
 always too ill, and when he and I came back Algernon 
 was already four years old. Oh! those years at Bath 
 with him and his stern Bohun aunts. There was no 
 chance of becoming friendly. Araminta spoilt him and 
 Lady Cmmford punished him, and would have punished 
 me if she had dared. 
 
 Humphrey's instincts seemed to show themselves al- 
 most immediately in Algernon. He is as like him in 
 character as he is in face. Suspicious, vindictive, and 
 arrogant. He loves me, I think, as much as he can 
 love any one, but I never know when he will turn round 
 and hurt me in the middle of a caress. I have tried my 
 hardest to lead him by love and understanding, but the 
 long absences he has been at the school Humphrey 
 selected for him since he was eight undermine my 
 influence, until now at thirteen we have very little of 
 common interest except the dogs. I believe he is not 
 popular at his school, except that he is such a good 
 cricketer. 
 
 I am only just beginning to realize that of course all 
 these circumstances in my life which make it so dreary 
 must be in some way caused by my own fault. But it is 
 very difficult, no matter what the natural character, to 
 be able to rise superior to events if a woman has been 
 married so young to such a man as Humphrey, and 
 kept dependent always, with rarely five pounds to call 
 her own. 
 
 I ought to try and be ordinary and take everything 
 as calmly in reality as I appear to do on the surface. 
 But something in me, especially in the springtime, cries 
 aloud in a fierce rebellion at the waste of it all the 
 waste of the years of youth the anguish of lone- 
 
 10
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 liness the barren littleness of my life. This obses- 
 sion is upon me to-night; the scents of the fresh wet 
 earth come up from the field beyond the moat. A bird 
 is chirping softly, not yet asleep. I am quivering with 
 I know not what. Night, come and comfort me en- 
 fold me in your dark wings, and let me sleep.
 
 CHAPTER H 
 
 HETITIA breakfasted in her room. I have never 
 been allowed to do that. Punctuality at 
 meals is one of Humphrey's fads, and he is 
 generally very cross behind the paper at the 
 other end of the table. He does not mean to be unkind 
 to me. He often tries to give me pleasures, but they 
 must be as he likes, not as I like. I am not consulted 
 about anything. If I had not been so young and so 
 frightened in the beginning, it might have been all dif- 
 ferent; or if I had cared for him in the least, perhaps 
 I could have acquired some kind of influence. But the 
 hopelessness of the outlook has made me let every thing^ 
 drift. 
 
 Letitia leads a life of perfect freedom. Her hus- 
 band, Lord Langthorpe, is an easy-going creature, and 
 they do not interfere with one another. Letitia says 
 after the first year or two if you order a man's house 
 well, and invariably play the part of brilliant figure- 
 head, that is all which should be required of you, and 
 that both men and women should be free to express 
 their individuality as they please. She has had a num- 
 ber of well-conducted flirtations, all arranged with per- 
 fect common sense, and no scandal. She says they are 
 necessary to the development of the brain of a clever 
 woman. It is quite impossible to understand life if 
 you live forever outside the door of its mainspring. 
 
 I do not know anything about love. I have imag- 
 ined it often but of the reality I am as ignorant as 
 I was at seventeen.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Guinevere," Letitia said suddenly, in the middle of 
 her discourse, " you sit there looking at me with your 
 great gray eyes. What are you thinking about? Tell 
 me, you odd thing." 
 
 " I am wondering what you would have done if you 
 had been married, at not quite seventeen, to Hum- 
 phrey." 
 
 This startled her. 
 
 " We should have had awful rows, of course, and 
 then I suppose he would have broken my spirit, or I 
 should have worn away his; but you are just where 
 you were, and the days are passing." 
 
 At lunch she asked casually if we would not send 
 over and suggest Sir Hugh Dremont's dining with us 
 this evening. She wanted to see him awfully; she had 
 not done so for three months, and it was such a chance, 
 as he so seldom went into society now. 
 
 I did not say anything, so Humphrey agreed, much 
 to my surprise, and told me to write a note, which 
 I did. 
 
 When the answer, accepting, came back, Letitia was 
 up helping me to arrange my tiny turret sitting-room. 
 There is a small winding stairway from it up to the 
 battlemented tower-top, and down to the same room on 
 the floor below, and then again to the ground floor and 
 / lower to the dungeon, while on the drawing-room level 
 i the little place had been turned into a library, com- 
 pletely lined with books which no one has read for 
 years ; but on my floor it had never been touched, since 
 the Roundheads' time, and has still the stiff oak furni- 
 ture in it, a table and two chairs. There are three 
 narrow casements looking north, east and west, and a 
 grim open fireplace. 
 
 " You could make this delightful," Letitia said. 
 13
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ** Either have it panelled or hang tapestry over these 
 rough stone walls, and think how you can escape down 
 the staircase and into the garden without passing the 
 household! A most useful place, I call it," and there 
 i was a laugh in her eye. " We must bring Sir Hugh up 
 here this evening, and show it to him, and get his opin- 
 ion. He knows about every style and date." 
 
 " Humphrey probably won't allow any change to be 
 made, but do try," I said, " though even if one got 
 into the garden it is walled all round, with only one 
 little door into the stable yard for the gardeners to 
 come in by, and there is still the moat to pass. The 
 only open way to the outer world is through the great 
 iron gates into the courtyard and over the drawbridge, 
 or through the servants' quarters, and across the 
 bridge. 
 
 " It is certainly a fortress," Letitia said. 
 
 Sir Hugh Dremont was five minutes late for dinner, 
 and Humphrey stood before the fire with his watch in 
 his hand. The fire was lit because it is a cold and rainy 
 night, and as I write now after midnight up in my 
 gloomy room, I can hear the wind howling down the 
 turret chimneys, and the rain beating against the win- 
 dow panes. 
 
 If Letitia had not also been late I am sure Hum- 
 phrey would have expressed his impatience aloud. He 
 fortunately stands in some awe of Letitia. 
 
 Sir Hugh talked so easily it made things quite pleas- 
 ant, and when my sister did come down, radiant as a 
 June rose, we were almost gay. I did not speak much. 
 I never do when any one else will, and our guest did not 
 seem to be taking the slightest interest in me. 
 
 He looks distinctly attractive in evening dress. He 
 is like some old portrait, and not a modern person. 
 
 14
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 After dinner Letitia sat down upon the only com- 
 fortable sofa in the drawing-room, and insensibly drew 
 him to her, and Humphrey, as is his wont when no 
 great effort is required of him, fell asleep in his huge 
 arm-chair, so I went to the piano and began to play. 
 I let my fingers stray from one thing to another, with- 
 out stopping. I do this almost every night, while my 
 husband dozes; it is my hour of peace and freedom 
 and comfort; it seems as though my soul escapes from 
 its prison house, and mounts toward high heaven, upon 
 the wings of sound. The two hushed their voices, but 
 did not stop speaking at first. I was glad of that; 
 they had forgotten me, and I them. 
 
 There was some kind of exquisite sorrow upon 
 me to-night. I was not unhappy, only strangely, 
 tenderly moved, and perhaps it spoke through the 
 playing. 
 
 Gradually the noise of their voices became less and 
 less in the room, and finally there was silence, except 
 for the wailing notes which came from my touch. I 
 happened to be playing the Rain prelude, and it sobbed 
 out what I was feeling in a passionate protest 
 against I knew not what. When I had finished I let 
 my hands fall into my lap. I was far away, and Sir 
 Hugh's voice startled me, and out of the shadows I saw 
 that he had come forward, and was leaning upon the 
 end of the piano. 
 
 " You have given us great pleasure," he said, and 
 Letitia rose from the sofa, too. 
 
 " Guinevere is a witch," she laughed softly, " and 
 now she has let you see a real piece of her magic, 
 Hugh." 
 
 I froze at once, as is my stupid way, and said I was 
 glad I had pleased him, in a commonplace voice, and 
 
 15
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 then Letitia suggested we should go and see the turret 
 room. 
 
 " Come," she whispered playfully. " We three must 
 creep away from the sleeping ogre of the castle, who 
 would never permit us to show a stranger the road to 
 his treasure chamber," and she put out her white hand 
 and took Sir Hugh's, and drew him stealthily into the 
 little library, which was lit with only one lamp. Leti- 
 tia is so charming a person, her every action is full of 
 grace, and no one would ever think she was nearly 
 forty-one years old. 
 
 There was no light whatever in the narrow winding 
 staircase, which we gained by the book-disguised door, 
 and as I led the way, Sir Hugh put out his strong, 
 smooth left hand and took mine. There was something 
 in the firm grasp which suddenly affected me strangely, 
 a peculiar thrill ran through me, a sensation that I 
 kave never felt before. 
 
 " You must guide us," he said while he pulled Letitia 
 up the stairs, and so we arrived at the entrance of the 
 little shrine. 
 
 Only the dim light from my bedroom came through 
 from beyond. There is no electric light installed as 
 yet, and I went forward to bring in the lamp, but they 
 followed me. 
 
 " Did you ever see such a ghostly place for a young 
 woman to sleep in all alone," Letitia exclaimed, struck 
 with the picture of it at night, which she had not yet 
 seen. " I should hate this black oak and those heavy 
 red velvet curtains. I am thankful to say I am in a 
 UK) re modern part of the house," 
 
 " I have never been up here before," Sir Hugh said. 
 " I have always heard of this room, though. ( The 
 Lady Margaret's Chamber ' it is called, is it not? You 
 
 16
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 know we people with more modern abodes take a deep 
 interest in every atom of Redwood Moat. It is a kind 
 of respectable relic to have in the county but this 
 room does not look a suitable surrounding for so fragile 
 and dainty a lady as you, Mrs. Bohun ! " 
 
 " It is far away from every one, that is why I like 
 it," I answered, and I moved back into the turret, car- 
 rying a lamp. 
 
 Here Letitia began asking Sir Hugh's advice. 
 " Ought we to have tapestry or panelling, or leave it 
 quite plain? " 
 
 He mused for a minute, as though he were balancing 
 things. 
 
 " I think you must leave it as it is," he said at last, 
 " unless the tapestry could be very good, and it is so 
 difficult to find." 
 
 " I am glad that is your conclusion," I answered 
 him, " because I am as likely to get panelling as tapes- 
 try and the moon as either." 
 
 " Guinevere, if you only knew how to manage Hum- 
 phrey ! " my sister interrupted. " I would get any- 
 thing I wanted out of him." 
 
 " I am not clever," I said, " and the price might 
 make the thing distasteful." 
 
 Letitia went back to my bedroom for an instant and 
 surveyed the room from the door critically. I had put 
 the lamp on the table, and stood back in the shadow, 
 and Sir Hugh said to me in a low voice, " You told me 
 yesterday you hated all old things, and yet you choose 
 this, the most ancient part of the house, for your own 
 srcite. Are you not a contradiction? " 
 
 " It may be a choice of evils," I returned. " I did 
 not say I cared for these gloomy rooms." 
 
 The interest deepened in his eyes, and he was just 
 17
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 going to say something, and then he checked himself. 
 I do not know why. 
 
 Letitia at this moment had the intelligence to re- 
 member that Humphrey might wake, and might pos- 
 sibly be annoyed at our absence, so she started for the 
 door, and then called airily: 
 
 " Come, we must go down again and brave the 
 depths." 
 
 Sir Hugh followed her, and I propped open the door, 
 leaving the lamp. The faint rays were not, however, suf- 
 ficient to light beyond the first turn of the turret steps, 
 and we were in pitch darkness, when we all reached the 
 next floor. I had kept beyond the touch of Sir Hugh's 
 hand, though he turned and waited for me. I was dis- 
 turbed, which was very foolish of me. 
 
 Letitia, who was first, fumbled at the catch of the 
 little library door, but failed to open it, and in the few 
 seconds in the black darkness I could feel that Sir Hugh 
 came nearer to me. There was that indescribable sense 
 of propinquity, it seemed as if I felt his being absorb 
 me this stranger with whom I had only exchanged a 
 few ordinary sentences. A trembling seized me, and 
 now as I sit here in the gloomy panelled room, with the 
 light of the lamp coming from under the shade in a 
 clear-cut path, I analyze everything as is my wont. 
 One gets into foolish habits living as I do away 
 from the world, and with every real feeling turned 
 inward, and hidden from one's daily companions. What 
 was that unknown emotion which came to me in the 
 dark? 
 
 When Letitia did finally open the door and the light 
 from the little library blazed onto our faces, Sir Hugh's 
 looked the same, but my sister exclaimed : 
 
 " How pale you are, Guinevere ! Did you see a 
 
 18
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ghost as we came down the stairs ? " And I answered : 
 "Yes I did." 
 
 Humphrey was still asleep, and I sat down to the 
 piano again and crashed a loud chord that he might 
 wake naturally, and so would not be unusually ill-tem- 
 pered at being caught napping. Sir Hugh raised an 
 eyebrow, and there was a whimsical expression in his 
 face, as though he had taken in the meaning of the 
 scene. It hurt me. I never let any one see the barren- 
 ness of my life, or pity me. I am considered a stupid 
 and disagreeable woman generally, but not an unhappy 
 one. 
 
 " Mrs. Bohun ! Oh ! A person quite impossible to 
 get on with," as one of the ladies in India was heard 
 to say. 
 
 Humphrey woke and glanced round furtively. I 
 watched him, but seeing Letitia talking to our guest, 
 he got up, gave himself the air of a person who has 
 never slept at all, and joined them. 
 
 " As I was saying " he remarked, and went on 
 with the subject they had been discussing before he 
 .dozed. Sir Hugh turned and met my eye, and there 
 was such an exquisite twinkle in his I had to look down 
 at once I could not enjoy with any one a ridiculous 
 aspect of my husband. 
 
 Then Sir Hugh said it was awfully late, and he must 
 be going, and Humphrey protested it could not be 
 more than half-past nine o'clock, as we had only just 
 come up from dinner ; then he saw by the clock that it 
 was quarter to eleven, and he frowned. So Sir Hugh 
 made his adieus with a warm handshake for Letitia. 
 So glad he had been to see her again. They are evi- 
 dently most intimate friends. 
 
 I came last of all. 
 
 19
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Good night, Mrs. Bohun," he said, and he looked 
 so strangely into my eyes. " Your husband has prom- 
 ised that you will both come over and dine with me next 
 week. I shall be having a few people, but I hope you 
 will let me come and see you before then? " 
 
 I said I should be glad, and he went. And then 
 Letitia came up into my room with me, and sat down 
 by the wood fire. 
 
 " Guinevere," she said. " Humphrey is failing he 
 is growing into an old man, my dear. What age is he 
 now, I can't remember? " 
 
 " He is sixty-one he will be sixty-two in the au- 
 tnn." 
 
 " He was such a splendid dasher twenty years ago, 
 when I first knew him but of course it is ridiculous 
 now when one thinks of you you look about twenty, 
 and a girl at that." 
 
 " Well ? I don't much know what being married is 
 or life or love or anything which makes a woman. 
 I expect I look like an old maid ! " and I tried to smile. 
 
 " You look as if you would have a thrillingly inter- 
 esting story, my little sister I shall return and see 
 how you are getting on again soon only don't fall 
 in love with Sir Hugh Dremont Mrs. Dalison is 
 coming to his party for the races next week." 
 
 "Who is Mrs. Dalison?" I asked, unpleasantly in- 
 terested. I do not know why. 
 
 "A friend of his," Letitia said, and then she 
 kissed me lightly and went off to bed.
 
 CHAPTER III 
 
 races at Redwood are very late this year. 
 They have them usually in Easter week, but 
 a great supporter of the hunt died just then, 
 and they were postponed until May 3. They 
 will be the same, I expect, as what I am accustomed to 
 in regimental races. I suppose they are amusing if you 
 know all the horses. Humphrey used actually to ride 
 in steeplechases when we were first married, but he has 
 not done so for more than ten years. They are a great 
 excitement to Algernon, who is mad about horses. He 
 rides wonderfully well, my tall son, and his great pleas- 
 ure is to give me hints upon the subject. 
 
 " You'll never really make a horsewoman, mother," 
 he often tells me. " You look extremely decent on a 
 gee because you aren't fat, but you have no go about 
 you. I believe you'd much rather jog along on your 
 quiet old Jenny Wren than come with father and me, 
 even if he'd let you hunt." 
 
 And I am afraid this is true. Long ago I thought I 
 should adore hunting, but Humphrey would not hear 
 of it; women were in the way in the field, he said. So 
 I was early discouraged ; and then in India and at Bath 
 I had not the chance. But I do love to jog along on 
 my dear Jenny Wren; she is a bright bay thorough- 
 bred, with a perfect mouth and perfect manners. 
 
 Humphrey does not mind what he spends upon 
 horses, and Algernon has always had the best of ponies. 
 Anything to do with hunting and riding they are at one
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 about, but on most other subjects there are jars. Al- 
 gernon is afraid of his father, and no wonder. 
 
 Humphrey intends him to be a soldier, and he rather 
 likes the idea of going into the old regiment. Hum- 
 phrey was such a very great personage in it, the hero 
 of a hundred fights in love and war. 
 
 Algernon is really a splendid specimen for thirteen, 
 and there is not a touch in him of me except that his 
 eyes are gray; Humphrey's are brown. Algernon is 
 going to be allowed to go to the races, and is longing 
 for the time when he may ride in them himself. 
 
 I have a great big short-furred, blue Russian cat 
 his name is Petrov. He has a passionate affection for 
 me, and all the dogs are his friends, but Algernon 
 teases him and Petrov hates him I suppose it is nat- 
 ural for boys to tease cats. I have only had him a few 
 months, and he hisses when he sees Algernon. I have 
 noticed this trait in my child about many things ; he is 
 not very considerate to animals, and, just like Hum- 
 phrey, he lashes out furiously when they annoy him. 
 
 I have tried to influence him to be different, and he 
 is always very sorry and promises he won't do the same 
 again, but he always forgets the headstrong nature 
 in him seems to assert itself beyond everything. I won- 
 der what they will do with him at Eton. My brother 
 Bob was there. Bob was such a darling. He died of 
 scarlet fever when he was in the Eleven, the week before 
 the match ; I was fourteen then, and it was the greatest 
 sorrow of my life. I believe if he had lived he would 
 never have let Letitia and my father marry me to 
 Humphrey. I do not know why I am writing down all 
 these stupid things to-day, just as if I were recounting 
 a story. I seem to be so restless ever since Letitia was 
 here.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 It is settled that we dine at Minton Dremont on the 
 race night. They are going to dance after dinner. Sir 
 Hugh has a large party ; he will take them to the hunt 
 ball on the Friday. Letitia said, although nothing 
 would drag him to a ball in London, he always plays 
 his part as a country gentleman; when there are any 
 functions on he must attend. He lives nearly all the 
 year now at Minton Dremont, though he has a very 
 valuable mining and town property up in the north. 
 
 Minton Dremont is a splendid place, but not very 
 old. It was built in George the Third's time ; the really 
 ancient house was pulled down then. 
 
 The neighborhood think it is a dreadful pity Sir 
 Hugh is not married, because his cousin, who comes 
 after him, is a wretched, sickly creature, with three con- 
 sumptive sons. I wonder why he does not marry. Le- 
 titia says he could have had any woman in England 
 that he wished he is so rich, and has such a prestige. 
 Who is this Mrs. Dalison, I wonder, and why did Leti- 
 tia speak about her in that tone of voice? I hate to 
 think ugly, sordid things, such as Humphrey always 
 insinuates, about people, but I suppose it is natural for 
 much-run-after bachelors to have some safe consolation. 
 
 I cannot understand what is the matter with me 
 lately, I do not seem to be able to settle to anything. 
 I am sitting now in my little turret room, looking out 
 of the west window ; my writing-pad is on my knee, and 
 the sun is getting low. I have to drive at three o'clock 
 every day because the victoria horses have to be exer- 
 cised Humphrey will not hear of a motor and I 
 came in at tea-time that duty done and have been 
 up here ever since. I think I will go for a ride. My 
 maid will be disgusted at having to get me changed 
 again, but Algernon will be enchanted; he shall
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 come with me, and we will have a gallop over the 
 
 turf. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 Just as we were turning back from the lane into 
 Corlston Chase we overtook a man in front of us it 
 proved to be Sir Hugh Dremont. 
 
 I was out on my eternal drive the day he came to call 
 after he dined, and I have not seen him since that night. 
 He was riding such an exquisite black horse, and he 
 greeted us with friendly pleasure. 
 
 " This is my son Algernon," I said ; and Algernon, 
 who is so coached by his father to understand what 
 being " well turned out " means in man or horse, gave 
 Sir Hugh an approving glance. 
 
 " Is it not a divine evening," the owner of the chase 
 where we were riding said, and we soon were chatting 
 easily or at least he and Algernon were. The boy is 
 not at all shy, and likes to converse with every one. 
 They spoke of horses, of course, and the races, and 
 Algernon was so proud to show the paces of his pony. 
 He used all kinds of grand technical terms about it, and 
 looked so flushed and handsome I would love to kiss 
 and pet him often, but he hates all caresses. " A horrid 
 bore," I am sorry to say he calls them when sometimes 
 the temptation overcomes me to kiss his curls ! 
 
 At last he asked if he might canter on and rejoin us 
 at the park gate ; he was tired of going so slowly, and 
 Sir Hugh said he did not mean to get out of a trot so 
 that his beautiful black horse should come in cool. 
 Whether animals are hot or cold never matters to either 
 Humphrey or Algernon. 
 
 When we were alone I felt the same peculiar agita- 
 tion I had felt on the stairs, but not so strongly, of 
 course, in the light and open air. I tried to talk nat-
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 urally about trivial things, but he hardly seemed to be 
 listening ; and at last he said : 
 
 " What do you really do with yourself through the 
 days ? You are not interested in any of the avocations 
 we have been exchanging commonplaces about." 
 
 " I read and think," I answered shyly. It seemed 
 as if he had torn off my mask. 
 
 " Are they sad thoughts ? " he asked, and then we 
 had this conversation : 
 
 " I try that they should not be the world is so 
 fair in the springtime." 
 
 " But they are I knew it immediately. You hare 
 a strange, pale, quiet face. Forgive me if I seem pre- 
 suming to talk to you like this when we do not know 
 each other at all, but you interested me so the otker 
 evening." 
 
 "Did I why?" 
 
 " There is something mysterious about you. Your 
 manner is so stiff and cold, and you are so still, and 
 then you played like that God ! how it made me 
 feel" 
 
 " One must have some outlet." 
 
 " Yes," he said, and he bent low on the glossy black 
 neck. " The music took me back to youth and belief 
 and other pleasant things at first, and then it stirred 
 something which I thought could never wake again. I 
 cannot imagine anything which could give me greater 
 pleasure than to have you to play to me alone in the 
 room play for me only." 
 
 " I will some day perhaps," I said quite softly. 
 The picture he had conjured up seemed most pleasant 
 he and I, with just the music to talk for us. And 
 then I smiled bitterly. These things were not for me ; 
 Humphrey would never allow Sir Hugh to come and 
 
 25
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 see me, and sit there while I played. It is expressly 
 forbidden me ever to entertain a man alone. While we 
 traveled about Humphrey was always with me in the 
 afternoons, and then came these last six months again 
 at Bath, and his terrible jealousy was too well known 
 in the station in India for any one to have dared to 
 arouse it. 
 
 " Why do you smile like that? " Sir Hugh asked. 
 " I said once before you were a contradiction and I 
 still think it." 
 
 I looked away to the budding trees; the sun had 
 almost set, a pink glow was over everything. A fresh, 
 delicious scent of spring things arose from the earth, 
 the birds chirped blithely and a sudden stab of pain 
 came to my heart, and, if I had allowed them, my eyes 
 would have filled with tears ; but I blinked these back as 
 they gathered, then Sir Hugh put his hand out on the 
 pommel of my saddle, and, bending, looked into my face. 
 
 " Shall we be friends? " he said, his attractive voice 
 with a deep note in it. " After a while I should grow 
 to know the contradictions and what they ex- 
 pressed or concealed. I like to study that which is 
 difficult and not for the reading of all the world." 
 
 " I cannot have any friends," I faltered. " Do not 
 speak to me like that please, Sir Hugh." 
 
 We were silent then for the next hundred yards or 
 so and what a thing wrought with meaning a silence 
 can be! It cannot happen with two casual strangers, 
 or even two acquaintances ; it suggests intimacy, it sug- 
 gests what there can never be between Sir Hugh 
 Dremont and me. At the end of it he let his black 
 horse come close to Jenny Wren again; and he smiled 
 so kindly all the stern cynicism which stamps his 
 face melted away as he spoke. 
 
 26
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Well, I will not ask anything, then. We will just 
 drift and enjoy the springtime, and the chances we 
 shall ever get like this. Tell me about the boy he 
 is not like you." 
 
 So we talked of Algernon and my hopes for him, and 
 my fears; and I forgot my grim guard over myself, 
 and, I am afraid, let him see some of the real me. 
 
 I am sure he is good and true underneath, and oh! 
 I wish I wish we might be friends ; but it would not 
 do. Humphrey would never allow it, and there would 
 only be rows. 
 
 " Thank you," Sir Hugh said, as we came to our 
 park gate. " Remember, we have made no bargains ; 
 you are going to leave things to chance and me." 
 
 Then Jenny Wren craned her neck and sniffed some 
 plant in the hedge, and I gathered my reins and did not 
 reply. 
 
 Algernon came up at full gallop a second or two 
 later, with a laugh and a " Tally ho," and Sir Hugh 
 held the gate for us to pass ; and we cantered home 
 across the turf but once I looked back and saw him 
 standing motionless, the black horse and his rider mak- 
 ing a sharp silhouette against the evening sky. 
 
 Humphrey was not very pleased when we got to the 
 house. He was waiting in the hall. Such freaks, sud- 
 denly to go out so late like this, should be discouraged ! 
 People should give orders in the morning for what they 
 intended to do in the day. He strutted and fumed, and 
 Algernon made a face at him while his back was turned ; 
 and I felt so strange and excited that I laughed 
 which I should not have done, of course and then my 
 husband's rage burst forth, and my son ran from the 
 room. 
 
 When the abuse of me was over, I crept up to my 
 3 27
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 turret chamber, and for some minutes did not ring for 
 my maid. Humphrey and his temper seemed a long 
 way off. The scolding had not hurt and cowed me as 
 it used to do why ? I went in to the little shrine and 
 looked from the east window, and there far in the dis- 
 tance I saw some tall chimneys through the giant trees 
 of the park of Minton Dremont, and above everything 
 a flag on the flagstaff waved. 
 
 The rooks were caw-cawing as they flew homeward, 
 and the eastern sky was a pale saffron fading to violet 
 on the horizon, while the crimson glow showed high 
 above from the glory of the west. How can human be- 
 ings stir themselves with angry passions when God 
 made the world so fair? 
 
 Something of comfort seemed to have come to my 
 heart, and I could go back and face the ordeal of a 
 tete-a-tete dinner with my irate lord. 
 
 He was ashamed of his outburst, as usual, and it 
 made him sullen until we had finished the fish. He is 
 rather proud in his way, and seldom insults me before 
 the servants ; but every one in the house trembles at 
 him, and in the stables, too. Our butler had been with 
 Humphrey as valet for many years before we came 
 here, and he was promoted, and he knows all the signs 
 of the times. He takes a deep interest in us as a fam- 
 ily, and, I think, is particularly attached to me. He 
 generally offers his master a glass of liqueur brandy 
 upon one excuse or another before the legitimate time 
 for such things has come if he observes any storm 
 signals. Hartington is his name, and I am sure that his 
 tact and sympathy have often saved me from greater 
 unpleasantness than I have actually suffered. To-night 
 the brandy came with an iced entree that the new chef 
 was trying, and it had a soothing effect. 
 
 28
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " It looks as if it would keep fine for the races on 
 Wednesday," my husband said, after the long, ominous 
 silence. " Next year we must have a party for them 
 when I've got the place shipshape. It is very friendly 
 of Hugh Dremont to have asked us to join him for 
 lunch." 
 
 * Yes," I answered meekly. " But I suppose in 
 any case you will send over the coach to watch 
 the races from. We could hardly take up so much 
 room on Sir Hugh's; he will have his own party to 
 fill it." 
 
 " My phaeton will be quite enough for you and me 
 and the boy," and Humphrey frowned. " I am not 
 likely to bore people with my family." 
 
 " No," I said. 
 
 Then he talked on about the neighborhood and the 
 few people that were left whom he had known in his 
 young days. He made conversation, and told me some 
 of his best stories in his inimitable raconteur's style. 
 He must have been so amusing when he was younger, 
 and did not repeat the same ones over and over again. 
 I laughed in the places I ought to ; and when the serv- 
 ants had finally left the room and I rose to light the 
 match for his cigar a nightly duty he put out his 
 hand and touched my hand. 
 
 " You look rather pale, Guinevere, these last few 
 days," he remarked. " What is it, little girl? " 
 
 " Nothing," I answered quietly, and a lump grew in 
 my throat, " only the house seems very dark, after 
 Italy last year but I shall get accustomed to it pres- 
 ently, no doubt." 
 
 Humphrey pushed my hand away. 
 
 " What d d nonsense women talk," he growled. 
 
 " The house has been good enough for me and mine 
 
 29
 
 these last four hundred years, and I'll trouble you to 
 find it so young Mistress Bohun." 
 
 " I will try," I answered, and got away up to the 
 drawing-room as soon as I could; I was playing the 
 piano when Humphrey joined me and went to sleep in 
 his chair. 
 
 And the music throbbed aloud all the things which 
 were in my heart until there grew a mist of tears in 
 my eyes; and out of the shadows beyond the lamp I 
 seemed to see the face of Sir Hugh Dremont.
 
 CHAPTER IV 
 
 "LL the way as we drove to the races I was 
 filled with one stupid desire to see this Mrs. 
 Dalison Letitia had spoken of. She must, of 
 course, be very clever and attractive, or Sir 
 Hugh would not have her for a friend. When I 
 thought of that, the peace and calm and pleasure of 
 the memory of our evening ride seemed to become less, 
 and some jar entered into the vision of it. Since he 
 had his own friend, why should he wish to be friends 
 Avith me? And then I reflected at the underlying mean- 
 ing there had been in my sister's words, and that the 
 signification of " friend " was very different when ap- 
 plied to me. Humphrey is suspicious about every one's 
 relations with each other. I have heard imputations 
 insinuated about almost each person we ever knew. It 
 frightened and filled me with indignation in the first 
 years, but now I have grown accustomed to it, and in- 
 different to everything. There is no use taking people's 
 part or defending them. I have always tried to remain 
 uninfluenced and allow my own judgment alone to di- 
 rect me. I believe reading so much of the thoughts of 
 the noble writers of the ages and living so far away from 
 human beings' companionship has helped me to take a 
 broad view. It always seems to me that one should live 
 and let live, and leave everything between the man or 
 woman and God, without outsiders interfering. 
 
 Perhaps it is only gossip that Mrs. Dalison is Sir 
 Hugh's friend. 
 
 The race day was gloriously fine and warm, and 
 31
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 when we got on to the course and backed the phaeton 
 into its allotted place it proved to be next the Minton 
 Dremont coach. Sir Hugh had another vehicle beside 
 the coach, a large brake. And all his party had ar- 
 rived and were climbing up and down. There seemed 
 to be a number of them, and at least six or seven 
 women four of them fairly young and good-looking, 
 'and all beautifully dressed. I could not decide which 
 could be Mrs. Dalison. Sir Hugh himself was away 
 for the moment, in the paddock, I suppose, looking at 
 his horses. 
 
 Humphrey shines at this sort of entertainments; he 
 is gallant and genial, and sufficiently entreprenant in 
 his remarks for ladies always to find him delightful. 
 He soon mounted the coach and spoke to those he knew, 
 leaving Algernon and me alone. 
 
 " Can't we go to the paddock, mother? " my son 
 said impatiently; " the first race will soon begin." But 
 I did not dare until one of the neighbors came to 
 talk and asked us to go with him. 
 
 Humphrey turned a surprised glance from his supe- 
 rior perch as he saw us walk off, but I did not care. 
 
 Sir Hugh was standing with two ladies. What a 
 huge party he must have, was the thought which struck 
 me; and then, that one of these women must certainly 
 be Mrs. Dalison but which? The taller was a doll- 
 faced person, a good deal painted, and not vivacious- 
 looking, but perfectly dressed in the kind of way that 
 requires skill not to look vulgar she just did not look 
 that. I dismissed her at once. Sir Hugh would never 
 waste himself upon any one so evidently brainless. The 
 other woman was a sportswoman; one could see it by 
 the keen interest she was taking in the hunters as they 
 jrere being walked round. She was neat and very 
 
 32
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 attractive this, of course, was she. But I was all 
 wrong, for Sir Hugh came up with them both the mo- 
 ment he caught sight of us, and introduced them in a 
 friendly way, and the painted one was Mrs. Dalison, 
 after all ; the other, Lady Hilda Flint. 
 
 Mrs. Dalison looked bored and hardly spoke, and we 
 only exchanged the fewest words that politeness pre- 
 scribes. They had neither of them the air of wishing 
 to make the acquaintance of their host's country 
 friends. 
 
 " Let us go back to the coach now, Hugh," Mrs. 
 Dalison said; but Sir Hugh was talking to Algernon, 
 and she had to repeat it twice before he would attend. 
 
 His manner was so perfectly casual, just as on the 
 first day he came to call; it chilled me, and I became 
 stiff at once, while I turned to old Major Milton, who 
 had brought us to the paddock, and pretended to be 
 interested in the horses and their riders beginning to 
 mount. 
 
 Then we strolled back to the phaeton and climbed 
 up to watch the first race. 
 
 Mrs. Dalison put her hand excitedly on Sir Hugh's 
 arm, I suppose to steady herself but he took no ex- 
 tra notice of her. One could see the race interested him 
 a great deal more for the moment. 
 
 When it was over, and he had rushed to the paddock 
 again to see his horse, which one of the young men 
 staying with him had been riding, and which came in 
 second, Humphrey brought up some of the men of the 
 party and introduced them to me; and then Sir Hugh 
 returned and took us to luncheon, laid out on a trestled 
 table behind his coach. 
 
 I felt extremely depressed, I cannot say why 
 though I tried to talk to whoever spoke to me. 
 
 33
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Our host was gay and agreeable, and chaffed with 
 his party, and they all seemed so friendly and pleasant. 
 I suppose, if you have never had any one watching you 
 jealously, you can be natural and merry like that when 
 you go out. The same thing went on the whole after- 
 noon walks to the paddock and back, climbing up to 
 look at the races, and then tea. Humphrey introduced 
 me to a number of his old county friends, as it was our 
 first appearance, and I tried to behave as he would 
 wish, but an utter discouragement was upon me. I had 
 a longing to be young and gay upon the coach-top. 
 There was one girl who had a merry, friendly face I 
 liked her; and she called to me once and asked me to 
 come and sit beside her while the rest were away and 
 Sir Hugh, returning just then, made me go. 
 
 As he helped me onto the coach he said, with one of 
 his eyebrows up in that whimsical, questioning way he 
 has: 
 
 " How all this sort of thing bores you, does it not, 
 Mrs. Bohun? " 
 
 " No," I answered, " I am much amused." 
 
 He laughed and went off when I was safe on the top 
 beside Miss St. Clair. 
 
 She had the most assured manner, and was so breezy 
 and agreeable. Any one would have thought that she 
 was the married woman and I was the girl. She chat- 
 tered on, giving me unconscious glimpses of the world 
 in general, and the party at Minton Dremont in par- 
 ticular. 
 
 They were fairly harmonious, it appeared ; only Mrs. 
 Dalison, whom she confided to me she did not like, was 
 inclined to give herself airs of proprietorship about Sir 
 Hugh. 
 
 " It is perfectly ridiculous of her," Miss St.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 said. " Any one can see Sir Hugh is bored to death 
 with her he has been for the last six months, only 
 she will hang on ; it has been talked about for a year." 
 
 " That is a very long time for an affair to last, is it 
 not ? " I asked. " A year ! I live so out of the world, 
 I do not know about these interesting things." 
 
 " Yes it is," agreed Miss St. Clair. " Personally, 
 I don't believe there is anything in it, or ever was it 
 is just Sir Hugh is such a fearful centre of interest for 
 every one that he cannot speak to a woman without 
 being put down at once as her lover. Ada Marjori- 
 banks, who is so funny and apt, says that is why he 
 always chooses something striking and flashy like Mrs. 
 Dalison to amuse himself with, whenever he gets a 
 recrudescence of worldly desires then it is too ob- 
 vious to be serious, or to grow into a tie." 
 
 Oh, how common and degrading it all seemed to me ! 
 which, of course, was very foolish and old-fashioned 
 of me. But, somehow, the day was tarnished and spoilt, 
 and I was glad when we prepared to go home. 
 
 " Mind you are ready in time to start for dinner," 
 Humphrey said in the hall as I went up to my room. 
 " I mean to leave at ten minutes past eight." 
 
 And now I have got to think about dressing and, af- 
 terward, the dance. I feel no desire to go a sense of 
 weariness with everything is overcoming me. I won- 
 der if this room is really haunted by that unhappy 
 Lady Margaret, who loved the Cavalier. Certainly 
 something gloomy and sad appears to be always round 
 me since we have been at Redwood Moat. However, Al- 
 gernon has been perfectly happy to-day, so that is 
 something. His handsome, excited face all the time has 
 been the admiration of every one. Humphrey is ex- 
 tremely proud of him and likes to show him to the 
 
 35
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 neighborhood. I can see that. I do not think the way 
 he encourages his taste for races and horses can be 
 very good for the child. If he takes an inordinate 
 pleasure in these things later on, Humphrey will be 
 very angry, probably, and will have no one to blame 
 but himself. I said this to him only this morning, be- 
 fore we started, but he told me I was a fool, as usual. 
 How could a young woman like me know anything 
 about such things ! I was to leave the bringing-up of 
 his son in his own hands. So what can I do? 
 
 It is half-past two o'clock, and we are back from our 
 evening at Minton Dremont. It seemed more than ever 
 like a prison fortress to return here after the light and 
 brightness of that stately house. I had not been in it 
 before. It is full of exquisite things : pictures and mar- 
 velous furniture and tapestries and collections of china 
 and miniatures, and all sorts of objets d'art. They 
 have always been such prosperous people, the Dre- 
 monts, with that rich property in the north, and Sir 
 Hugh's mother was an heiress upon her own account. 
 
 I always think a bachelor's house is better done than 
 any other, and certainly this one is perfection. 
 
 Sir Hugh looks extraordinarily distinguished and 
 old-world in his evening hunt coat, just as if he had 
 walked out of his great-grandfather's picture-frame 
 a late portrait by Sir Thomas Lawrence ; and as a host 
 he has immense charm. No wonder these pretty women 
 of society purr round him and cajole him all the time. 
 It was quite amusing before dinner to watch them. We 
 were ridiculously early, of course. They were like a 
 lot of houris in a harem, each vying with the other for 
 the post of favorite and deep in Sir Hugh's dark- 
 
 36
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 blue cynical eyes there was always a twinkle. He chaffs 
 with them in a way that to me is on the verge of inso- 
 lence but they seem enchanted, so I suppose it is 
 only my silly idea. 
 
 I sat two off him at dinner, which we had at round 
 tables. Mrs. Dalison was in the same place on the 
 other side, and an important duchess and a countess 
 were at his right and left hands. The Duchess has a 
 daughter here, and her niece, Miss St. Clair but the 
 Countess is looking at him for herself; she is a widow 
 and very pretty, though quite forty years old. The 
 man who took me in was most agreeable when the 
 Duchess would let me have him! She turned to him 
 automatically whenever Sir Hugh addressed his other 
 neighbor, whether mine happened to be talking to me 
 or no. Manners, in the world, are not at all what one 
 would expect, evidently. But I dare say she thought 
 me a local bore and an interloper at their party. 
 
 Sir Hugh smiled at me once or twice but we ex- 
 changed no word. 
 
 Mrs. Dalison was most daringly dressed, and has 
 wonderful shoulders ; but without her hat one can see 
 her hair is dyed, there is a dark shadow at the roots. 
 Why should I write this? Is it spiteful of me, because 
 how can it matter to me what she is or has? 
 
 She whispered to the man who had taken her in 
 when I saw he was asking her who I was, and I felt she 
 was saying, " Poor Hugh has to entertain his country 
 neighbors." 
 
 After dinner in the great drawing-room all a 
 queer, greenish panelling and gilt with wonderful Louis 
 XV tapestry we grouped about on the stiff sofas. 
 And every one smoked and chattered to their friends; 
 and Miss St. Clair sat down again by me, until the 
 
 37
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Duchess called her to fetch something from her room 
 and I was left alone. 
 
 " What a .beautiful thing your son is, Mrs. Bohun," 
 one woman said to me. " Only, it looks absurd for you 
 to have a boy of fourteen or fifteen ! " 
 
 " Algernon is thirteen," I said. " He is going to 
 Eton in the autumn but he is tall, isn't he ? " 
 
 " Age is so deceptive," Mrs. Dalison joined in, with 
 a slight lisp, between her cigarette puffs. " My Phyllis 
 is a mere child, too, though she is as tall as I am." 
 
 " Phyllis is certainly nineteen," the first woman 
 whispered in my ear, with a malicious little laugh ; and 
 then she said, " Claire, darling, that frock was too! 
 ducky you had to-day. Do you always go to that 
 wonderfully cheap little woman? " 
 
 And Mrs. Dalison answered that she did, blandly,* 
 with a gleam in her big hazel eyes. Then they talked a. 
 little of politics, and much of some new book upon a 
 sex problem and they were all sweetly familiar and 
 agreeable to each other, and gave me the impression 
 they would willingly cut each other's throats; and at 
 last the men came in, and the few extra guests for the' 
 dance began to arrive, and we went into the saloon! 
 which had been cleared. Sir Hugh did not pay more, 
 attention to Mrs. Dalison than to any of the rest ; and] 
 after the second or third dance he came up to me. 
 
 " Come and have a turn, Mrs. Bohun, will you ? " hel 
 asked; and we began to waltz. 
 
 He does not dance particularly well, and we stopped 
 by a door and he led the way into a small sitting-, 
 room down the corridor. I had not seen it before. 
 
 " We can sit here and talk," he said, and indicated a 
 comfortable blue-silk sofa for me to sink into ; then he 
 placed himself by my side. 
 
 38
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " You look more perplexing than ever to-day, you 
 know," and he leaned forward and gazed at me. " At 
 the races there was a glint of contempt in those queer 
 gray eyes. What was passing in the soul of the lady? " 
 
 *' A number of things," I said. 
 
 " TeU me of them." 
 
 "Why should I?" 
 
 He shrugged his shoulders slightly. 
 
 " There is no reason I made a request " 
 
 " You were much too busy to be aware of what I was 
 or was not doing. How could you see anything in my 
 eyes ? " 
 
 He laughed softly, and it irritated me. I felt I was 
 not going to be added to the list of his pastimes, like 
 the Mrs. Dalisons of his world. I felt the pink coming 
 into my cheeks. 
 
 " You take life too seriously," he protested gently. 
 " The social world is a sordid, mean, hateful place, if 
 you view it open-eyed. You should glance at it, and 
 laugh and make a jest of it. There are so many parts 
 of God's old earth that make up for the blight man has 
 laid upon some of it." 
 
 " Yes/' I said, and felt a fool for my irritation. 
 " But it is difficult for me to laugh I always want to, 
 but I have no one to laugh with." 
 
 " Mariana in the Moated Grange," he whispered 
 and then, "Why were you christened Guinevere? " 
 
 " It is silly, isn't it ? " I answered, " and very unkind 
 to give babies such appellations without their leave. 
 Nothing more unlike Arthur's Queen could be than I 
 am. She was fair and stately and capricious don't 
 you think so? I do not like her character much, do 
 you?" 
 
 " All women are capricious nine-tenths, at least 
 39
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and you never know where you are with them. Any 
 of them would give a man away to prove to other 
 women that he was her lover." 
 
 " And the same woman would shield him if he com- 
 mitted a fraud and almost be hanged in his stead 
 were he accused of murder," I retorted. 
 
 " Yes they are a mass of contradictions ; the only 
 way to take them is at their own valuation never at 
 your own. In that way you can surround yourself 
 with a bouquet of different flowers whose perfume is as 
 sweet as it is transient." 
 
 " Poor flowers ! " I said, and I glanced through the 
 door at the stream of them, who were coming to sit 
 down in the corridor after the waltz. 
 
 His eyes followed mine, and he laughed put his 
 head back, and laughed; and suddenly I seemed to un- 
 derstand exactly how much they all mattered to him, 
 and for no explainable reason a new lightness grew in 
 my heart. 
 
 " When we know one another better," he said, with 
 a note that might have been tenderness in his voice, 
 only that is ridiculous, " I will tell you just what I 
 thought of you the first day I came to call the un- 
 conscious picture you made there on the step-ladder 
 and then afterwards and I will make a confession, 
 too, which will shock and disgust you." 
 
 " Must you wait until you know me better? " I asked. 
 " I am curious," and I tried to speak lightly. 
 
 He looked at me for a second as though he were com- 
 ing to a decision, and then he said, quite low, " No, I 
 will tell you now. Do you remember the night when 
 we stood in the dark outside the door of the little li- 
 brary? " 
 
 " Yes" ; and I felt a catch in my breath. 
 
 40
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Well, I was overcome with an insane desire to fold 
 you in my arms and kiss you. You had looked so 
 fragile and white and young, all alone up in that grim 
 room. There, I have told you. Are you angry with 
 me? " 
 
 I could not speak for a moment. I was filled with 
 the remembrance of my own feelings upon that occa- 
 sion the unaccountable trembling and emotion. Is 
 there something in influences coming from one to an- 
 other, after all? 
 
 " Are you angry ? " Sir Hugh asked again, now with 
 anxiety in his voice. 
 
 *' No," I said, and I tried to look at him calmly. 
 "Humphrey my husband says a man always feels 
 that sort of thing when he is near any woman." 
 
 " That is not true." He was almost indignant. 
 " Such a man must be a pure sensualist. But I had 
 rather you were angry with me than that you classed 
 me with just the common herd." 
 
 At this moment Mrs. Dalison came into the room 
 with one of the good-looking, smart young men of the 
 party, and I unconsciously let my eyes follow her; and 
 I suppose some of the thoughts which were coursing 
 through my mind showed in my face, for Sir Hugh, 
 who was watching me keenly, said hurriedly, a note of 
 impatience and chagrin in nis voice, " Oh, it all sickens 
 me the gossips of the world " 
 
 " I thought you said it was all right if one took it as 
 a jest," I reminded him. 
 
 A cloud seemed to gather upon his whole face. 
 
 " Yes, so it is in the abstract. But do you re- 
 member I told you that the music had touched some 
 feeling in me that I thought was numb? Well " 
 
 At that moment Mrs. Dalison looked at us mockingly 
 41
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 from over her fan, and Sir Hugh said hurriedly, 
 " Come, let us go back to the saloon and dance " ; and 
 he rose, and I rose, and we went indifferently out of 
 the door ; but his eyes were fierce as he made some ordi- 
 nary remark, then gave me 'up to another partner. 
 
 It was after supper, at which he had sat with the 
 Duchess, that he came up again. I was standing with 
 Humphrey, and we were just going to say good 
 night. 
 
 " No, you must not go yet, General," he announced 
 jovially. " Mrs. Bohun has snubbed me all the even- 
 ing, and now I want to persuade her to be gracious and 
 give me one more dance." 
 
 " Of course you must, Guinevere," Humphrey or- 
 dered, and we started off. 
 
 " I suppose we shall now have to career round like 
 two fools, and can't go and sit down as I want to, and 
 talk," Sir Hugh whispered. " Aren't you going to ask 
 me again soon to dine at Redwood Moat? " 
 
 " I do not know," I said. " Perhaps if you amuse 
 Humphrey," and then I was angry with myself for 
 saying such a thing it slipped out because my desire 
 is to see him and I own it now that I have time to 
 think. 
 
 " I'll ride over some afternoon and try and ingrati- 
 ate myself, when this party has gone. You were com- 
 ing to the hunt ball on Friday night? " 
 
 " Yes, I suppose so ; we have to do everything that is 
 correct now that we are * county people ' ! " and I 
 smiled. 
 
 "And you hate it all?" 
 
 " I did not say that." 
 
 " No but I would like to see you gay, with those 
 eyes suffused with love and laughter. Now, when I look 
 
 42
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 at them, they are always full of unrest and pain 
 hidden and deep " 
 
 I stopped dancing. 
 
 " You must not say such things to me ever again, 
 Sir Hugh," I faltered, and my voice trembled. " You 
 must leave me locked in my Moated Grange. No one; 
 must find the key. Now, good night." And, before he 
 could answer me, I rejoined my husband and prepared 
 to depart. 
 
 Sir Hugh came with us to the door, and I left Hum- 
 phrey to say all the civil things ; and as I got into the 
 carriage I heard: 
 
 " Well, you'll come over to lunch next week," and 
 " With the greatest pleasure, General ! " Then the 
 horses started. 
 
 All the way back Humphrey praised Sir Hugh and 
 said amiable words about him but I did not speak. 
 
 And my husband kissed my forehead when we said 
 good night in the hall, having greatly enjoyed himself. 
 
 But I cannot sleep I shall sit here at the east win- 
 dow and watch for the dawn.
 
 CHAPTER V 
 
 X ENJOYED the hunt ball. 
 When I was first married, Humphrey did 
 not really like my dancing, and used to stand 
 and wait for me and take me off to himself 
 directly each dance was finished. The idea of my sit- 
 ting out, he explained to me, was disgusting to him, 
 because people only sat out when they wanted to make 
 some kind of love to each other! He is suspicious of 
 every single action of man and woman and would 
 advocate the system of the Turks if he could. It must 
 ,be so awful to have views like that, poisoning all simple 
 things. He has never liked my dancing, but has had 
 to put up with it, for fear of appearing ridiculous. He 
 must have been the most crazily passionate and jealous 
 lover when he was young for me, I only know the 
 jealous part the passion had burned itself out, for- 
 tunately, before my day. But he has always boasted 
 of his tremendous conquests he loves to talk of him- 
 self, and is frequently very coarse. All those aspects 
 of love ought to be so sacred, it seems to me and not 
 to be spoken about lightly, or they become revolting 
 and common at once. 
 
 But to go back to what I was saying. I enjoyed the 
 hunt ball. 
 
 I began it well, by trying to take Sir Hugh's advice, 
 and look at the world with only a glancing eye, and 
 several of his party were very nice to me, also I love 
 the exercise of dancing for itself. I had quite a pretty 
 
 44
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 dress, too, and did not have to put on the family jew- 
 els, which Humphrey will not let me have reset, and 
 which I hate wearing. I had just my string of fine 
 pearls. 
 
 Sir Hugh came up at once, and because there were 
 programmes he deliberately asked me for two dances. 
 
 " I am obliged to do my duty and take in the Duchess 
 to supper and generally keep my eye on my party," he 
 said " but if you can contain your hunger, I also 
 will not eat anything much, and then when the first rush 
 has finished, will you come in quietly with me, and we 
 can talk and eat in peace? " He got me to write his 
 name for the two dances after the extras. 
 
 Perhaps that is why I enjoyed the first part of the 
 ball there was something pleasant to look forward 
 to. I was so cunning when supper-time came! I knew 
 I should be pounced upon to go in with the first set, 
 because of being the wife of so influential a member of 
 the hunt as Humphrey, so I pretended my dress was 
 torn, and went to the dressing-room until they had all 
 safely started ! It felt such fun doing this and I 
 have had no fun for so many years. I was so very deli- 
 cate after Algernon was born, for such a long time, I 
 got out of the way of thinking I was human and ought 
 to be gay and happy. It is not flattery when people 
 take me for a young girl ; I have that kind of type with 
 no particular features, and that sort of shaped bones 
 that do not make any shadows, and my throat is very 
 long and slender and round, and my head very small 
 besides my being very slight of figure so all these 
 things are what give the girlish look. I am always ad- 
 dressed as " Miss " in shops. 
 
 I believe Sir Hugh saw the mischief in my eyes when 
 he at last found me for our feast, for he pressed my 
 
 45
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 hand on his arm against his side, and he said so gaily: 
 " What has the little lady been doing? She has got 
 a roguish glance in her gray mysteries." 
 
 Then I told him rather shyly, and we had a delight- 
 ful laugh, like two truant children. 
 
 He had arranged just where we were to sit, at a 
 corner little table that only held two, and it seemed 
 that the waiters must have been warned to bring us the 
 hottest quails and attend immediately to our wants. 
 
 Sir Hugh at first did not say any of the things which 
 disturb me ; he talked to me of books and pleasant sub- 
 jects, and we found we loved so many of the same, and 
 I forgot to be stiff, and let myself go, and oh! I was 
 so happy. Then we spoke of music, and he asked me 
 how I had learned to play like that, and I told him 
 about Fraulein Strauss, who was my governess until I 
 married, and was a great musician. 
 
 " But since then," I said, " I have never had any 
 lessons. My husband thought it was absurd for a mar- 
 ried woman, so I have just gone on in my own way. 
 The music talks to me and has often comforted me 
 when I have been sad." 
 
 " I hate you to be sad," Sir Hugh answered. " You 
 look like some pure, exquisite flower, I cannot exactly 
 say which to-night. You should always wear soft white 
 , satin and pearls." 
 
 r " I am glad you like my frock," I returned. " I do 
 not often have such a nice one as this." 
 
 " You are so sweet," he whispered. " You make me 
 feel I want to take care of you. You ought to be 
 where no rough winds blow." 
 
 " How kind you are, Sir Hugh ! " And I could not 
 meet his glance. 
 
 " All the other people appear meretricious," he 
 
 46
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 said, looking around. " When my eye gets back to you, 
 it is at rest." 
 
 " I love peace and beauty," I faltered. " How happy 
 one could be if it were left to one's self to choose one's 
 environment ! " And I suppose I sighed unconsciously, 
 for he bent nearer to me. 
 
 " You were only a baby when you married, weren't 
 you? So I dare say it did not give you much chance. 
 I think I understand." 
 
 " Yes, I was not quite seventeen," I said. " I am 
 thirty now. I shall be thirty-one in the summer. It is 
 quite old, isn't it? " 
 
 He laughed. " You will never be old. You have a 
 young soul but it is full of all kinds of shadows that 
 ought not to be there." 
 
 " What must I do, please? " I asked. " I do not like 
 the shadows, but they always seem to come crowd- 
 ing in." 
 
 He looked at me penetratingly with his deep-blue 
 eyes. There is something astonishingly attractive 
 about him; his manner is so assured and calm, and it 
 is so exquisite for him to be gentle and sympathetic 
 like this, because his face in repose, or when talking to 
 others, is cynical, and there is always a whimsical gleam 
 in his eyes. I could not help feeling emotion. It 
 seemed as though we were two beings apart there in 
 the supper-room of the Redwood Hunt Ball and that 
 we had turned our corner into our own little kingdom. 
 " I must help you to take the shadows away," he 
 said softly. " You must let me find the key of the 
 Moated Grange, after all, won't you, my pale, sweet 
 lady?" 
 
 "I I am afraid," I answered, and then my glance 
 caught sight of Mrs. Dalison, who had just come into 
 
 47
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the room and sat down with her back to us. She had 
 not seen us. " And, besides " I went on, and stopped 
 abruptly. 
 
 He looked at her, too, and then he looked down at 
 his plate; and when his eyes sought mine again they 
 were troubled. 
 
 " I want you to put all foolish things you have heard 
 out of your head will you, please?" he pleaded. 
 " They have nothing at all to do with you and me 
 the side of me that I want you to let come into your 
 life contains only those things which I think you would 
 wish that it should. Good God ! I do not speak in this 
 way to women as a rule ; I do not know what has come 
 to me to-night," and he pushed back his chair for a 
 second and passed his hand over his eyes. 
 
 I was strangely touched and I knew then that 
 I wanted him so to be my friend, and that I hated to 
 think material unpleasant tilings about him. I would 
 try not to let these ugly thoughts come into my head. 
 Letitia has often said there are sides of a man no wise 
 woman should investigate if she wants him to continue 
 to give satisfaction to herself. She argued to me once 
 about Freddy Burgoyne one of her admirers. " Yes, 
 I know Freddy is selfish and lets those other women 
 flatter him and make up to him and that he is some- 
 times vile to me but for the moment he is the tiling 
 I want to amuse me; so as long as that feeling lasts, 
 why should I spoil it by letting irrelevant aspects come 
 between? " Letitia is so wise, I will try to copy her. 
 As I would like Sir Hugh for my friend, why should I 
 mind his having some part of him which finds agreement 
 with a painted-up obvious woman like Mrs. Dalison? 
 
 He watched me anxiously, and then he said : 
 
 " You need never speak to make yourself understood, 
 
 48
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 you know the whole argument has been disclosed in 
 those gray discs and you are right in the conclusion 
 you have come to." 
 
 " Then let us go back to how you can help me to 
 chase away the shadows," I agreed. 
 
 " You must take a strong interest in some one thing 
 or person," he said, " so that your mind is filled 
 with that subject to the exclusion of all others." 
 
 " But that would be an obsession. What then? " I 
 demanded. 
 
 " Infinite joy," and his voice was a caress, and over 
 me there rushed a mad emotion, a sudden realization of 
 what life could mean perhaps what love could 
 certainly fulfil, what sorrow might be alas ! and I 
 put up my hands unconsciously to ward off some dan- 
 ger, and answered him very low: 
 
 " There are too many possibilities in your receipt 
 for shadow-chasing, Sir Hugh," 
 
 He did not press the subject he became gay again 
 and diverted me, and then presently we went back to 
 the ballroom through the other door, unperceived by 
 Mrs. Dalison. 
 
 Here we danced a two-step, a new dance just coming 
 in from America and Sir Hugh did this better than 
 a waltz, and I enjoyed it. 
 
 " I really don't care for dancing," he said. " It 
 could mean divine things if one adored the woman 
 and then one would not want to hold her with every 
 one looking on and if one is indifferent, it is just a 
 teetotum but it is the jolly sort of thing one has to 
 do at times ! " 
 
 " I like it," I returned, " and I do not put any mean- 
 ing into it; it is purely pleasant exercise." 
 
 " Well, it is quite suitable that we should finish up 
 49
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 our enchanting supper in a banal way like this," he 
 announced. " Because then it will let me sleep in peace. 
 I was extremely disturbed just now." 
 
 But I did not tell him that I had been so, too. Then 
 we stopped near Humphrey, and Sir Hugh exchanged 
 some cheerful, friendly banter with him, and sauntered 
 off indifferently, leaving my husband well content. I 
 stayed with Humphrey for the next two dances, and we 
 walked about the rooms, and he introduced me to more 
 of his old friends. They were all very genial and 
 pleased to welcome us and I felt so happy. I was 
 more unbending than usual, and, I hope, made a better 
 impression. 
 
 Humphrey was actually satisfied with me and told 
 me so grudgingly on our way home. Just before we 
 were leaving, Sir Hugh came up again. 
 
 " Don't you forget, General, that you have asked me 
 to lunch next week," he said. " I particularly want to 
 see what you are doing in your stables with that new 
 patent for the drainage. Can I come over rather early 
 and have a look round? " 
 
 And Humphrey gladly arranged things the fol- 
 lowing Tuesday it was to be ; Sir Hugh's guests would 
 be leaving on the Monday. 
 
 " But bring some of your friends over on Sunday, if 
 you like," Humphrey continued. " The place is so 
 old, it interests strangers." 
 
 Sir Hugh accepted with not too great a show of 
 alacrity, and said good night. 
 
 When the Sunday came I began to feel that nervous 
 excitement I have experienced once or twice. All 
 through church it worried me, and I found it difficult to 
 keep my mind on any subject. 
 
 I had made everything I am allowed to have a say 
 
 50
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 in look as nice as I could. There were spring flowers 
 everywhere that Humphrey will let them be put. He 
 does not like flowers in the rooms he sits in, he says 
 they make his head ache in the place where he was 
 wounded long ago. They say nothing to either him or 
 Algernon flowers. Here at our permanent home 
 gradually I shall hope to be allowed to take some inter- 
 est in the garden I must do it very gradually, 
 though, and at least in my little turret room I can have 
 whatever masses I can secure. It is blazing with daffo- 
 dils now, and tulips and hyacinths of purple and mauve, 
 and I put a quaint old hooded arm-chair up there that 
 Humphrey turned out of the smoking-room, and cov- 
 ered it myself with a piece of very faded magenta bro- 
 cade that has become a tone of wonderful beauty since 
 its early Victorian blatant days. And there are cur- 
 tains of this weird shade, too, but all so changed with 
 time that they belie the name magenta. Humphrey 
 condemned them only last Thursday from the smaller 
 sitting-room which had been furnished by his mother, 
 and I gladly took them to my bare little shrine. They 
 are of the thickest silk and no objectionable pattern, 
 and I am well content; and when I get great sprays 
 of purple iris against them they seem to glow into 
 wondrous tints. 
 
 I am saving up my slender pocket-money, and when 
 I have enough I am going to buy one of those tiny 
 pianos one can get for yachts, and it will go into the 
 space between the east and north window, then I can 
 play to myself for hours, and no one will hear me or 
 become fretful with the noise. Algernon hates music, 
 it irritates him always when I play unless sometimes 
 a jolly comic song that he can shout out of tune. Is it 
 not strange that my own son should not have one touch 
 
 51
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 in him of this great passion of mine, but should be all 
 like his father in his tastes and desires? Perhaps Le- 
 titia's theory is right, after all. 
 
 The Duchess and Miss St. Clair came with the Min- 
 ton Dremont party of men, about four o'clock they 
 had walked over, and there was another woman, too 
 the one who had admired Algernon, and also Lady 
 Hilda Flint. There were nine of the party altogether, 
 counting Sir Hugh. 
 
 We took them first to the stables and the green- 
 houses, and then the Duchess was enthusiastic about 
 the moat and the walled garden, and the old, old, shab- 
 by rooms. And Humphrey himself actually suggested 
 that they should be taken up to the Lady Margaret's 
 Chamber, and told the ghost story there and at this 
 Sir Hugh frowned. But I had to lead the way, only 
 we went to it from the great stone main staircase, not 
 by my winding turret steps. 
 
 They were full of exclamations and admiration, but 
 one and all decided nothing would induce them to in- 
 habit such a ghostly place. The door into my shrine 
 was closed, and I did not open it, but Miss St. Clair 
 did, in a happy-go-lucky way. The sun was pouring 
 in at the west window obliquely through the immense 
 thickness of the walls, and fell upon the old chair and 
 the flowers on the table with a great shaft of light; it 
 made a wonderful picture, and she cried aloud, and Sir 
 Hugh, in the rapid clustering of the rest of the com- 
 pany to see it, got close and whispered in my ear : 
 
 " I hate them to go there I want to think of that 
 shrine always for you alone." 
 
 Humphrey then explained to them about the stair- 
 case; they must go down it, they said, and all pressed 
 forward Sir Hugh and I were left to the last. Then. , 
 
 52
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 he drew me to the east window, and pointed to the trees 
 in the park of Minton Dremont. 
 
 " Every morning when you look out at that tallest 
 oak, with my flag waving above it, remember that the 
 man who owns both is thinking of you, sweet Ladye," 
 he whispered, and turned down the dark stairs after 
 the others without a word more, leaving me, with my 
 heart beating strangely, to follow as best I could. 
 
 " You must have a golf course in the park beyond 
 the moat," they all assured Humphrey, and he mur- 
 mured a consent. He has taken to golf himself now 
 in the past six months. I am glad for him to do any- 
 thing. When he first gave up his command he did 
 nothing but hang about me, and was cross and com- 
 plaining and often having the gout. 
 
 Algernon had joined us before we came upstairs to 
 my room, and was enchanting the lady who had ad- 
 mired him so. He is like Humphrey, he is always gal- 
 lant and attractive to strangers, but I wish he would 
 be kinder to me when we are alone ; I fear he will never 
 be kind to any woman; he will make a masterful and 
 fascinating lover by-and-by, but the instinct which 
 shows when he teases Petrov will always come out. 
 
 On Sundays he stays up to dinner with us, and he 
 held forth about the party that had been in the after- 
 noon. Sir Hugh was a " jolly good sort," and he 
 ticketed off the rest with wonderful accuracy, much to 
 Humphrey's amusement. He encourages Algernon to 
 talk, and then for the slightest weariness caused, he 
 snubs him sharply, and has often sent him to bed; so 
 the boy is alternately arrogant or nervous. He is only 
 really happy and sweet when he is out for a ride alone 
 with me. I never like to see his faults, because he is 
 my child, but I cannot help realizing as time goes 
 
 53
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 on that nature is stronger than any influence, and that 
 whatever I can do with my tenderness is counterbal- 
 anced by the strong Bohun strain. 
 
 Oh! I wonder what it would have been like if I had 
 married some one I loved, and my son had hourly re- 
 minded me of dear features and traits, creeping ever 
 more deeply into my heart in consequence. 
 
 I wonder, if Sir Hugh had a son, what he would be 
 like ? 
 
 I wonder if he will marry? Surely there must be a 
 draught coming in from the west window or the day 
 has turned chill. I feel suddenly cold. 
 
 Rooks, what are you telling each other with your 
 cawing? Some tale of love and the spring-time, surely, 
 you grave people. But your nests are full of little 
 ones and the fulfilment of the growing year.
 
 CHAPTER VI 
 
 i 
 
 nETTTIA paid us a surprise visit on Monday. 
 She was motoring up to Cheshire and looked 
 in upon us on her way, she said. 
 
 She had a quizzical expression in her eye as 
 she talked with me up in my turret chamber after tea. 
 
 " This room looks charming now," she said. " It is 
 rather like you, Guinevere, with its gray stone walls 
 and transparently simple furniture, and then these rich, 
 faded curtains and the purple flowers against them. I 
 believe there are tremendous possibilities for passion in 
 you." 
 
 " Then you ought not to try and stir them up by 
 suggesting their existence," I returned. " You know 
 very well what my life is, and how I must go through 
 with it." 
 
 " You said when I was here before that you wanted 
 to live I was wondering if you had begun." 
 
 I wondered, too, but I did not say anything. 
 
 " Tell me about the race week and Hugh Dremont's 
 party," my sister went on. " I had an amusing letter 
 from Ada Majoribanks this morning before I started, 
 with her version, but I want to hear yours." 
 
 " It was quite agreeable," I responded. " I did not 
 make out which was Lady Marjoribanks only one 
 or two of them spoke to me, you know." 
 
 " I dare say. They are rather casual in that set 
 but most of them are my intimate friends. I ought to 
 have told them to be nice to ou."
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " I really did not particularly want them to be so," 
 and I looked out of the east window idly. " Besides, I 
 should hate that people should be nice to me to please 
 some one else, not from inclination." 
 
 " Guinevere, don't be a fool you must take things 
 as they are. In the world, you see, it is all a question 
 of quid pro quo; no one has time for any retJ senti- 
 ments; and then one set gets to know all its own little 
 ways and looks upon any additional person from out- 
 side as an interloper. We all know what we are each 
 going to say or do, and what our particular cat's-tricks 
 will be with each other, so it is no trouble, whereas, if 
 a new woman comes in, we are disturbed she may 
 have strange methods, and her claws may be sharpened 
 in a different way, and she may be a dangerous quan- 
 tity, and snatch our men. So we freeze her, on chance." 
 
 " One would think the men would get terribly bored 
 with all of you, meeting you over and over again," I 
 hazarded. "It cannot be amusing for a man to know 
 exactly what you are all going to say upon any given 
 occasion." 
 
 " We become habits and we are all easy and sans 
 gene," Letitia returned, leaning back her comely head 
 against the faded magenta chair back, " and they have 
 not to make any special exertions for us. Then there 
 is the gentle stimulation of the periodical shuffle of the 
 people we are amusing ourselves with, and we are all 
 fairly well educated and have picked up all the political 
 and literary shibboleths that are necessary to carry on 
 the game. You see, one year, we'll say, I watch the 
 Duchess and Freddy Burgoyne. I see all the faults in 
 her methods with him, and I try to correct them when 
 I get him to play with, and so on with the rest, accord- 
 ing to their intelligence." 
 
 56
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 "Was Lady Marjoribanks the one with the narrow- 
 eyes and fuzzy hair and rather frumpish clothes ? " I 
 asked. 
 
 " I expect so," said my sister. " She does not look 
 attractive at the first glance, but she is awfully clever, 
 and has brought the art of flattering a man to the 
 finest point. She gets everything out of him the 
 secrets of his innermost soul and twists them all to 
 her purpose. It is much wisest to be friends with Ada. 
 Winnie Latrobe was there, too. Did you meet her? " 
 
 I said I believed that was a lady's name, and she was 
 the one who had admired Algernon. 
 
 " Poor old Win ! " Letitia said. " She is separated 
 from Sir Henry, her husband. But his family stuck to 
 her she's so rich so she still goes everywhere. Her 
 father was a shrewd, hard-headed Scotch coal owner." 
 
 " She rhapsodized over Algernon," I said. 
 
 " She has her eye upon him for five years from now, 
 for her daughter, you may depend upon it, dear you 
 will then have to be careful with him." And Letitia 
 laughed her merry laugh, showing her rather big white 
 teeth. If one wanted a specimen of something whole- 
 some and splendid, one would select Letitia. 
 
 " Do 3'ou all hate each other underneath? " I asked 
 but she looked quite surprised. 
 
 " Of course we don't ! We are like our men are with 
 us accustomed to one another. We only get up 
 little hates during the shuffiing season, if one of us 
 undermines the other's friend before we are ready to 
 let him go but we soon settle down again." 
 
 " One woman gushed to me over her children," I 
 said. 
 
 " Oh, that was surely Lady George Trebearn," Le- 
 titia returned. " She always does to strangers of 
 
 57
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 course we all know she never troubles about them the 
 moment they are old enough to be no longer graceful 
 adjuncts to her style of beauty. She has at least six, 
 and two ought to be coming out next year they are 
 rather plain, so probably she'll put it off for a season 
 or two." 
 
 " It sounds all very wonderful to me," I said.. " How 
 do they look upon marriage vows in your world?" 
 
 " Marriage vows ! " laughed Leteitia. " My world, 
 or any world, was always the same, my little sister, be- 
 cause it contains human beings of two sexes and the 
 Almighty planted a strong desire in them for each 
 other, to make his scheme for continued population 
 work against any odds. During all the ages this mag- 
 netic attraction will suddenly start up between two peo- 
 ple, and if it is strong enough, no marriage vows have 
 ever been the least use. In some times like the Cinque- 
 cento people understood this. Then climate makes a 
 difference and opportunity and the wave of senti- 
 ment. In the Victorian era a period of rigorous hy- 
 pocrisy held sway, and lots of women were as good as 
 gold because they could not get beyond its influence, 
 and it was a fortunate thing. But no laws will make 
 human beings faithful to one another. There are some 
 intensely sensitive souls you are probably one, Guin- 
 evere " and my sister looked at me critically 
 " who have such a high self-respect that they could not 
 soil their own sense of honor in a bargain, and so they 
 might remain faithful physically ; but even such beings 
 cannot control the spirit, and they sin if it is sin, 
 which I do not altogether admit whenever their 
 thoughts turn to the loved one." 
 
 " It is frightfully difficult to understand," I sighed. 
 
 " Not at all," returned my sister. " One must have 
 
 58
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 a sense of the fitness of things, and not make scandals, 
 if one is unlucky enough not to have a high sense of 
 honor. One must in every way fulfil one's duties in 
 life and the duties of one's position and if it is im- 
 portant to continue a fine family, I think it is abomin- 
 ably unfair not to play the game but, after all those 
 things are done, I maintain it is entirely ' up to you,' 
 as the Americans say so cleverly, whether you choose 
 to enjoy your life as you like, or no. You may be cer- 
 tain, if you do it in a stupid way which infringes upon 
 the comfort or prejudice of the community in which 
 you live, and you break their moral law, you will be 
 made to pay for it. To keep things going well for the 
 community you have to bow to Hypocrisy. It is much 
 the best thing to do, no matter what your opinions may 
 be." 
 
 " Then there is no truth or faith or honesty left," I 
 said sadly. " I hate to think all these things, Letitia." 
 
 My sister looked at me so kindly. 
 
 " You always were a darling little fool, Guinevere," 
 she declared. " There is all truth and faith and hon- 
 esty, but we each of us create our own. Your class of 
 soul will draw its heaven in the passionate and exalted 
 devotion of one man those are your ideals as the 
 eagle, noblest of birds, has one mate. Your brain ca- 
 pacity and your sweet personality might probably keep 
 the one man loving you always when he found you 
 and the degradation to your spirit, did you give your- 
 self to both a husband and a lover, would probably en- 
 tirely obliterate for you any pleasure in so doing. You 
 are naturally a pure and refined ego but there are 
 millions and millions who have not reached that plane 
 yet, and who get heaven and all the joy of life out of 
 change. It is certainly not for you or me to judge 
 * 59
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 them, although we may be sorry for them. All we caa 
 judge or condemn are their methods, if they give the 
 thing away and so degrade the community." Letitia's 
 face was quite serious now. " For the continuation of 
 society for a chance to be given to all to grow to 
 your plane the outside decencies must be kept up as a 
 good example. That is all one ought to ask of people, 
 because all are not strong enough to be nobly good in 
 themselves." 
 
 " Yes, I see," I said. " The right and wrong of a 
 thing, then, lies entirely in the personal conscience upon 
 the matter, according to your theory." 
 
 Letitia puffed smoke rings while she went on medi- 
 tatively : 
 
 " The personal conscience should always be guided 
 by the result of any action upon the community 
 otherwise chaos would come again. We must all re- 
 member that we have only the right to enjoy ourselves 
 when we are not deliberately hurting the community, 
 and even then it is a serious question, and generally 
 brings pain." 
 
 " What should a woman do, when she has children? " 
 I asked. My sister does interest me so when she holds 
 forth. 
 
 " What all good animals do take the tenderest. 
 care of them until they can take care of themselves," 
 she retorted. " That is one of Nature's inexorable 
 laws, and the breaking of it draws nearly all the misery 
 of civilized life." 
 
 At this moment we heard a noise on the little stair- 
 case. It developed from just a sound into articulate 
 swearing, so I knew it was my husband, and that he had 
 probably come out of the drawing-room floor and 
 grazed some part of his person in the dark. This would 
 
 60
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 mean he would blame somebody, and either order a 
 light to be permanently kept on the staircase, or decide 
 not to come that way himself again I hoped the 
 latter, which proved to be correct. He went back into 
 the library and shut the door but the interruption 
 broke the thread of Letitia's homily upon worldly 
 ethics, and she turned to the subject of clothes, and so 
 back to the party at Minton Dremont. It appeared 
 Ada Marjoribanks had mentioned me in her letter 
 " A quiet little thing, your sister, with a certain dis- 
 tinction, my dear Letitia," and " stormy eyes " she 
 had written also that " Claire Dalison's day was 
 completely over, a bat could see that," but who should 
 have the proud position of diverter of the transient 
 fancy of the gifted host was still uncertain ! Each had 
 tried her hardest, and would continue to do so, as the 
 perquisites of the situation, as they all well knew, were 
 not to be sneezed at! 
 
 I wondered had this pack of charming wolves known 
 about our supper, and that Sir Hugh is coming to- 
 morrow to luncheon to inspect the new system of 
 the stables' drainage what inference would they put 
 upon these facts ! and a smile grew in my eyes, which 
 Letitia noticed. 
 
 " Guinevere," she said, getting up from her chair 
 and sitting down in the east window-seat, " I want to 
 give you this piece of advice If the person who owns 
 those red chimneys and lordly tree-tops turns his eye 
 in your humble direction, never let them my friends 
 have a suspicion about it. They would tear you in 
 pieces remorselessly they would destroy you socially, 
 and make you ridiculous to him they are all very 
 clever, you know, child." 
 
 A shaft of the dying sunlight came from under a 
 61
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 heavy cloud through the west window, and gilded my 
 head. It seemed like God's glory and peace, and I an- 
 swered her calmly. 
 
 " I do not speak of Sir Hugh Dremont in this, Leti- 
 tia, but of any man who cared for me. If his love could 
 not stand the test of the insidious attack of those poor 
 things of earth it could not touch me, or my heart 
 his soul would not be fine enough because all these 
 things and these methods that you have been speaking 
 about are not in my ken, and cannot affect me." 
 
 Letitia kissed me, and her eyes filled with tears. 
 
 " Darling," she said, " I hate to remember that long 
 ago when I did not know I helped to build this 
 prison-house for you. But oh! Guinevere, if you ever 
 want a friend, with her head screwed on, remember your 
 old sister." 
 
 We are not emotional people, and when I had re- 
 turned her expression of feeling, we at once talked of 
 other things and Algernon came bounding in from 
 my bedroom, alas ! chasing Petrov, who turned at bay 
 and hissed at him from beneath the table. 
 
 " Algernon, I have asked you not to tease my cat," 
 I said to him. '* Please try to remember, dear boy." 
 
 His handsome gray eyes looked up at me defiantly, 
 and then he hung his head. " I don't know why you 
 have the nasty beast, mother I wonder father lets 
 you," he stuttered. 
 
 Letitia scolded him, and tried to explain that I had 
 a right to my pets just as he had, and it was very rude 
 and cowardly of him continually to provoke Petrov. 
 
 His face grew crimson with temper, and he would 
 have been impertinent in a second, only that children 
 and servants are not naturally impertinent to Letitia. 
 
 " Would you like your mother to chase Pip every 
 
 62
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 time she saw him ? " my sister asked. Pip is one of 
 Algernon's clever ratting terriers, and not a well- 
 behaved dog in the house. 
 
 " No," my son retorted ; " but, of course, that is 
 ridiculous, Aunty. Pip's a dog, not a cat ! " 
 
 He said it in exactly the same tone that Humphrey 
 once used to me, in speaking of the justice of a certain 
 
 case: 
 it 
 
 How absurd you are, Guinevere! We are talking 
 of a woman, not a man." 
 
 I hope Eton will equilibrate Algernon's point of 
 view ! if some day I shall have a daughter-in-law.
 
 CHAPTER VII 
 
 *HIS morning Humphrey informed my sister 
 that Sir Hugh was lunching I had tried to 
 sa y it casually yesterday when we talked in 
 my little room, but somehow it would not 
 come out and now, as my husband spoke, she caught 
 m J e je> and I felt myself becoming crimson. It infuri- 
 ated me so, that when Sir Hugh did arrive, on his black 
 horse, looking so attractive, I was like ice to him. He 
 came at half-past twelve to see the stables, one must 
 suppose! Well, he had to in any case, because I went 
 up to my room the minute we had shaken hands out in 
 the courtyard, and did not come down again until the 
 lunch-gong sounded. I fancy Letitia and Humphrey 
 conducted him to see those interesting drains. 
 
 I could not have been more aloof than I was at 
 luncheon, and most of the conversation fell to Hum- 
 phrey and Algernon, so far as the family at Redwood 
 Moat was concerned. Then, after lunch, Letitia had 
 to start on her journey to Cheshire. 
 
 " I'll leave at two-fifteen," she said. " Humphrey, 
 do send some gees on to Templehurst now, and you and 
 Algernon come with me in the motor. I am sure if you 
 once tried this open Mercedes, you would be persuaded 
 to have one you'd find it so awfully useful for the 
 far meets." 
 
 Humphrey demurred, but Letitia used her most en- 
 trancing cajolements, and Algernon was dying to go, 
 so at last my husband gave way. 
 
 64 *
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Guinevere, you'll have to give Sir Hugh some cof- 
 fee we've no time to stop for ours," Humphrey an- 
 nounced, to my intense surprise. Never before in our 
 married lives has he suggested leaving me alone with a 
 man. It shows the effect Sir Hugh must have had upon 
 him or Letitia and the motor. 
 
 Sir Hugh murmured something about being obliged 
 to rush off immediately, and paid no further attention 
 to me, until we were standing alone watching the car 
 glide over the drawbridge now permanently lowered 
 while we are at home. Then he turned and said, in the 
 voice of a glad schoolboy : 
 
 " They will arrive at Templehurst at about half- 
 past three, but the horses cannot be there until four 
 o'clock, and it will take more than an hour and a half 
 to get them back here, which brings it to half-past five 
 or later. If you should be lonely during that time, 
 may I stay foi a little after we have had our coffee?" 
 
 I said a kind of yes, and led him to the drawing- 
 room, where I had told Hartington we would have ft. 
 And while he was following me up the great stone stairs 
 Sir Hugh made suitable remarks about their wonderful 
 antiquity and their state of preservation, so that all 
 nervousness had left me by the time we reached the big 
 cold room. A wood-fire had just been lit in the huge 
 open grate, and a dog or two slumbered on the bearskin 
 rug in front of it. 
 
 There is a queer scent in some burning wood which 
 seems to awaken memory in me some vague, strange 
 memory of long ago, it would almost seem of some pre- 
 vious existence, as I never can trace it to anything 
 conscious in my present one. It causes me some feel- 
 ing of shelter after stress, a haven reached after hard 
 fighting, a sudden contentment. 
 
 65
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I was aware of this now creeping over me as the 
 logs crackled and blazed and we went over close to 
 them. Hartington had already brought the coffee, and 
 it stood with liqueurs and cigarettes on a little table 
 near. I sat down in one of the great, splendid carved 
 chairs whose backs tower above the head of the person 
 /seated, in a scroll-work of black oak ending in a king's 
 crown of the Cavaliers' time, I believe, before the 
 family turned Roundhead, and a gift from King Charles 
 the Martyr. 
 
 Sir Hugh took his cup and handed me mine without 
 further ceremony, and for a few moments he did not 
 speak ; then he finished his coffee and came over nearer 
 to me. 
 
 " Will you play to me? " he asked very gently, with- 
 out any " please," and I said " Yes," and went to the 
 piano. He pulled a chair where he could comfortably 
 watch my face, and he took a cigarette c.iid leaned back, 
 half closing his eyes. And all the pent-up emotion in 
 my heart rushed forth in the music, so that I forgot his 
 presence almost, and lived again in that far world into 
 which I often go. 
 
 I played for half an hour, perhaps, without stopping, 
 
 one thing after another, until I came to an arrangement 
 
 I have made of that simple song of the North, " Aye 
 
 fond kiss," and it sobbed out under my fingers, and 
 
 ) then there was silence. 
 
 Sir Hugh got up and came to the piano. He had not 
 stirred all the time and his cigarette was still un- 
 lighted. 
 
 " I won't say thank you," he murmured, very low. 
 " It is beyond that. Your sister said you were a witch, 
 and I think she was right You have cast a spell over 
 me. You took me to heaven and hell in these 
 
 66
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 thirty minutes I seemed to grow detached, and taste 
 of things beyond." His voice ceased, and he looked 
 deeply into my eyes. " I saw times of my boyhood,'* 
 he went on, as I did not speak but sat idly there before 
 the keys, with my hands in my lap. " I felt old beliefs 
 returning, old emotions surging up, and then strange 
 sorrows and that last thing seems the ech of some 
 exquisite pain." 
 
 I played it again very softly, with him leaning there 
 close to me and then I looked straight up into his 
 blue eyes. 
 
 " Burns' words are sad enough," I said, " but they 
 mean nothing to me that simpler air says everything 
 that one could say of farewell." 
 
 " Play something gay, then," he pleaded seriously. 
 ;< There shall never be farewell between you and me." 
 
 But I rose from the piano. 
 
 " No, I will not play any more to-day the mood 
 is over," I said. " We must leave it at Farewell." 
 
 I could see he was extremely moved and oh ! I was 
 so stirred myself, I did not dare to look again at him 
 
 he walked rapidly to the fireplace and lit his ciga- 
 rette, and then he said : 
 
 " I want to see your books the things you touch 
 and read, that occupy you. Won't you show them to 
 me? " 
 
 " They are all upstairs in the turret room," I an- 
 swered, " and I cannot take you there." 
 
 " Yes, I suppose everything must be for you alone 
 
 untouched by the rest of the world. I should have 
 known that." 
 
 " I have to be solitary," I sighed, " because no one 
 else cares for the things I do it is not because I like 
 being lonely." 
 
 67
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Then you would share your pleasure if you came 
 across one who could feel it with you ? " he asked 
 eagerly and tenderly. 
 
 " I might could such a being be found." 
 
 " How commonplace and distasteful you would make 
 the rest of the world seem if one were much with you," 
 he exclaimed, as though struck with something sud- 
 denly ; " unless one could keep you always, it would be 
 the sorrow and ache of that tune." 
 
 " Oh ! " I cried, " Sir Hugh we are becoming too 
 serious. Try to remember you are here taking coffee 
 with a dull country neighbor, and should now be saying 
 adieu." 
 
 But he did not stir. He only looked up at the clock. 
 
 " It is not half-past three yet," he said. " They 
 have only about got to Templehurst. What are you 
 going to do with the rest of the afternoon ? " 
 
 " I had thought of seeing Jenkins the head gar- 
 dener and perhaps getting in a few hints of my 
 wishes about things. Humphrey does not like any one 
 to interfere openly with anything here " and then, 
 feeling I ought not to have given away this secret, I 
 added hurriedly " You see, it was his old family 
 home, and of course it is natural that he should not 
 like me to touch it." 
 
 Such a look came in Sir Hugh's face and his eye- 
 brow went up. 
 
 " Not like you to touch it ! " he exclaimed. 
 " Why " he left his sentence unfinished, and puffed 
 his cigarette. Then he went on: " The joy to have a 
 garden or anything that you had arranged ! How I 
 wish you would come and settle one for me ! Will you ? 
 I will have exactly what you would wish, and it shall be 
 sacred to you, and no one shall ever go there." 
 
 68
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " But what good would that be to me, Sir Hugh? " 
 I asked. " I could never see it except by stealth ; and 
 a garden should be a rest a soulagement from pain 
 
 a friend to share one's moods and sympathize with 
 one's thoughts somewhere to escape to when walls 
 seem to detain the spirit in chains." 
 
 " Take me with you out to see Jenkins, then," he 
 said. " And let us find a bench and talk out of 
 doors." 
 
 " I'll get a coat. It has turned cold. I won't keep 
 you waiting long." And I went from him up to my 
 room through the turret stairs. 
 
 When I got back he was sitting stroking Petrov, 
 who, to my astonishment, was perched upon his knees 
 
 Petrov, who hates all men ! 
 
 " Oh ! that is dear of you," I cried. " No one but I 
 am ever kind to my poor cat." And I took the great 
 blue-gray beast from him and caressed him, crooning 
 with the little sounds which he and I understand. 
 
 " He cannot want any other kindness," Sir Hugh 
 retorted. " He is too hatefully fortunate as it is." 
 
 The sinuous, handsome creature pushed his sleek 
 head up into my neck under my chin and ear, and 
 purred loudly a human speech could not have better 
 expressed affection and content. 
 
 " He is the one thing on earth who loves me without 
 reservation loves me alone and only me," I said. 
 
 Sir Hugh did not speak and I carried Petrov to 
 the little stairs and let him run up to safety in the tur- 
 ret room. How he got into the drawing-room I do not 
 know. 
 
 I tried to be merry when we went out into the walled 
 garden. We had come down from the little library, but 
 remembering the effect of the dark before, I did not 
 
 69
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 risk it again, and made my companion go on first and 
 open the lower door. It was quite warm and pleasant 
 in the sunlight, but Jenkins was nowhere about, so we 
 sat upon an old bench, facing the sun-dial, and dis- 
 coursed of many things. 
 
 Sir Hugh is clever and exquisitely cultivated we 
 could jump from subject to subject without that dis- 
 tressing blankness coming into his face which so often 
 comes into people's faces unless one sticks to the one 
 thing they know. We spoke of Italy, and especially 
 Venice, where I went last year only it was too early, 
 and Humphrey hated it, and turned it all into ridicule 
 and quarelled with the gondoliers ; but I used to try and 
 imagine it as it would be in the warmth alone, or 
 with a sympathetic companion. Sir Hugh told me of it 
 now so that I could see it all again and glorified. 
 
 He has read strange old books, too, that I thought 
 no one but I had ever bothered about even Johnson's 
 " Rasselas " and we spoke of the happy valley and 
 the weariness of the everlasting even beauty and 
 Sir Hugh said, the reason why the poor prince and his 
 sister never found happiness was because they never 
 even looked for it in love. 
 
 " 'Rasselas ' is like most of the Bible," he said. 
 " Love what I mean by love that is, not merely a 
 physical passion, but the exaltation of the soul blended 
 with it is not mentioned as a factor in the scheme 
 of things by Johnson. Perhaps he did not know of it 
 himself." 
 
 " Do you know very much about love, Sir Hugh? " 
 I asked, and then felt dreadfully frightened at myself 
 for such daring and went on hurriedly "I mean, 
 you are old enough, and not married, and free. You 
 have had time to learn." 
 
 70
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " I thought I did," he answered, tapping his boot 
 with his riding whip and not looking at me. " But now 
 I am not sure. My ideas have been rather upset about 
 it lately. Tell me, what do you think it is ? " 
 
 " Something beautiful and terrible and vital 
 something that should gild dark places and turn stones 
 into jewels something tender enough to be of the 
 angels, and warm enough to be of the sun. Oh ! some- 
 thing that could never be on earth," I sighed. 
 
 " It lies with the woman to cause such feelings in a 
 man," he said. " Most of them inspire a very different 
 set of sentiments. People forget that whatever others 
 who know them well feel for them is whatever present- 
 ment of themselves they have created in those others' 
 hearts." 
 
 " Yes, that seems true." 
 
 " For some women one feels nothing but a physical 
 desire their mental qualities do not enter into the 
 matter and this goes off as soon as satisfied, and 
 disgust alone remains. And for others one feels respect 
 or sympathy or one is agreeably amused with 
 them each emotion caused by the woman herself. It 
 is when one comes upon one who touches all these notes 
 in a man then an almighty passion is aroused, a 
 passion which could grow into the mainspring of 
 life." 
 
 " But it does not lie with the woman alone, because a 
 woman might cause such feelings in one man and leave 
 ten others cold. Those things could only be aroused if 
 both were in tune, surely," I said. 
 
 He turned deliberately and looked at me long, as if 
 his eyes were devouring my face then he sighed al- 
 most unconsciously, and shook himself slightly, turning 
 to the sun. 
 
 71
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " If I sit here talking to you longer now," he said, 
 " upon these subjects, I shall be tempted to say things 
 to you that you might be angry with me for. I have 
 been so awfully happy to-day that I want to take away 
 a memory of peace. If I can arrange it so that it is no 
 worry for you, may I come again? " 
 
 " Yes, do," I returned. " It is past four o'clock 
 now. Will you come back to the house, and I will ring 
 for your horse." 
 
 " I want you to come to Minton Dremont. I want 
 to show you my garden, and the haunts I love. I shall 
 write a formal note and ask you to lunch, and somehow 
 I will arrange that I have you to myself for a little 
 if you will let me. I think you have granted me just 
 one peep inside your Moated Grange to-day." 
 
 " I would like to see your house," I said. " Arrange 
 it if you can." 
 
 Then we walked through the iron gate and out into 
 the courtyard, and there we rang the door-bell, and soon 
 his black beautiful Csesar came round, and he mounted 
 and rode away. And his figure is a very pleasing thing 
 to watch retreating from view on a horse so lithe 
 and strong and spare. 
 
 And now I am sitting up in my turret room, and 
 Petrov is purring upon my knee. 
 
 Petrov, what do you think of this Sir Hugh Dre- 
 mont? Is he a man as Humphrey says they all are 
 just using his clever wits to beguile your simple mis- 
 tress for a pastime for himself? or is there some- 
 thing more in his interest? But in all cases we must 
 not grow to care too much which it is. Must we, my 
 cat?
 
 CHAPTER VIH 
 
 X HEARD from Letitia a day or two afterward, 
 from her place in Cheshire. They had had 
 quite a nice drive as far as Teraplehurst in 
 the motor, and she expected I had not been 
 bored either! She felt I deserved a little pleasure, 
 which she hoped she had secured for me. 
 
 " I must tell you one thing, Guinevere," she wrote. 
 " I have known Hugh Dremont for ten years, and I 
 have never known him to bother himself before about 
 inspecting the drainage of other people's stables. You 
 can make what inference you please from this ! " 
 
 1 tried not to feel too much pleasure as I read. I 
 have made up my mind I must go no further with our 
 very agreeable friendship, and I have taken to looking 
 out of the north window instead of the east from it 
 one only gets obliquely any reminder of Minton Dre- 
 mont. 
 
 I believe Sir Hugh is in London we have heard 
 nothing of him, and a week has gone by. It is the 
 tenth of May. The spring has been unusually fine and 
 warm until the last days. I have got an interesting 
 new book upon Florence, and the spirit of the great 
 Medici time, and I have been deep in it since it came. 
 I like to read three or four upon the same subject, one 
 after the other, and compare them and make my own 
 deductions from all. If I could have seen Italy as I 
 wished instead of being rushed through all the interest- 
 ing things, and never allowed to stop when the hotels 
 
 73
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 happened to be bad, I would have loved it so. As it 
 was, even, it said wonderful things to me. Sir Hugh 
 knows it so well; the next time I see him we must ex- 
 change more views about it. 
 
 As I was writing, the afternoon post came in, and 
 there is a letter from him from London. Just a very 
 stiff note. He will be returning in a day or two, and 
 his sister and her little girl and boy will be with him. 
 He would be so delighted if Humphrey and I and Al- 
 gernon would come and meet them at luncheon on Fri- 
 day. I hope my husband will accept. 
 
 I am glad this place is so isolated, and the few neigh- 
 bors who are of the old set, and friends of Humphrey's, 
 are rather far away. I believe I have so grown out of 
 the habit of people coming to see me often, in these last 
 years, that I should find it very tiresome if they 
 dropped in. They all think of nothing but hunting and 
 golf, and are plainly bored if one speaks of another sub- 
 ject. 
 
 Humphrey has had a threatening of gout the last 
 three days, and his temper has been perfectly awful. 
 Both footmen are leaving, in spite of Hartington's good 
 sense and tact. It has seemed that this little room is 
 the only place I can get away from the noise of Hum- 
 phrey's swearing. It has poured, too, and we could 
 not go out and even Algernon, who does not care for 
 this part of the house at all, has crept up with me after 
 lunch for safety. He is very restless, and knocks over 
 my books and anything he can, but I love to have him ; 
 and we have had some talks and been very friendly, 
 though his natural point of view is so diametrically op- 
 posed to mine upon most subjects, it is often difficult. 
 But about cricket I listen for hours. He only really 
 cares to speak of things that he knows of and I do not. 
 
 74
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " I wonder why father has such a beastly temper,'* 
 he said just now. " It is sickening, isn't it, mum? " 
 
 And I told him it was pTobably because Humphrey 
 had never tried to control it when he was young. But 
 I so dislike drawing morals my only way is to ex- 
 plain the law of cause and effect to him, about abstract 
 things, and leave the deductions to his own intelligence. 
 He is a character almost impossible to influence. 
 Strongly passionate, and yet impervious to anything 
 tender. He is so handsome, even at thirteen he gives 
 promise of being a glorious-looking man. Women are 
 sure to spoil him, and he is sure to make any of them 
 who love him very unhappy. 
 
 I did not dare to give Sir Hugh's note to Humphrey 
 until after dinner, when he was in a less disagreeable 
 mood. 
 
 " It will quite depend how I feel," he said. " I'll 
 answer the letter myself. Dremont is a sensible man, 
 and will understand." That it would give Algernon 
 and me pleasure to go, whether he did or not, was an 
 aspect of the case which would not be likely to present 
 itself to him. 
 
 Indeed, until Friday morning came I was not aware 
 what he intended to do. 
 
 Then he decided he would go so the brougham was 
 ordered. His foot is still in too precarious a state to 
 climb into the phaeton. 
 
 Sir Hugh met us in the hall at Minton Dremont, and 
 was so sympathetic about the gout, and so glad we had? 
 come. 
 
 " My sister is most anxious to renew her acquaint- 
 ance with you, my dear General," he said. " She says 
 6 'Z5
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 you were a great friend of hers when you were quar- 
 tered at York twenty years ago. She was a girl then, 
 and used to stay with my grandmother, Lady Wynlake, 
 near there." 
 
 " Of course I remember her ! " Humphrey returned, 
 delighted, and we went on into a morning-room with its 
 fresh chintzes and a delicious southern aspect. None 
 of the rooms are gloomy here. 
 
 Lady Morvaine rose to greet us. She is so sweet- 
 looking, rather like Sir Hugh, though a few years older, 
 and not the least like any of his race-party friends. 
 She was genial and gracious, and made everything 
 smooth and pleasant, and Algernon and the boy and 
 girl were presented to each other, and we all went in to 
 luncheon. 
 
 It felt so peaceful to know we should have one meal 
 at least without an explosion falling upon the head of 
 some luckless servant. No stranger could believe that 
 the gallant, handsome General Bohun of society could 
 be the same as the one his wife and son know. 
 
 Algernon has not a sense of humor, or we could often 
 comfort ourselves with the comic aspect of things. 
 
 The Morvaine boy, Lord Burbridge, is already at 
 Eton, but home just now to recover from a broken arm, 
 so he and Algernon got on to interesting topics, and 
 one could see intended to spend an agreeable afternoon 
 together. 
 
 Lord Burbridge knew of a most enchanting spot at 
 the home farm where some old piggeries were being 
 pulled down, and which would yield a fine harvest of 
 rats if " Uncle Hugh " would let them have Higgs 
 and one of the terriers. 
 
 " Oh ! if I'd only brought Pip and Snack ! " I heard 
 my son say with regretful enthusiasm; and Sir Hugh 
 
 76
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 offered at once to send the motor for these talented ani- 
 mals, while two pairs of sparkling eyes turned to him 
 in gratitude, and the little Lady Adela Carnoly looked 
 pitifully longing to be allowed also to participate in 
 this coming joy. 
 
 " You'll let her go won't you, Lady Morvaine? " 
 Humphrey pleaded. " A good sporting instinct ought 
 to be encouraged in girls makes 'em less fanciful and 
 squeamish. My wife there would be twice the woman she 
 is if she had been knocked about by half a dozen 
 brothers." 
 
 And at this Sir Hugh's glance met mine, and it con- 
 tained such kind understanding. 
 
 We all left the dining-room together, and drank our 
 coffee in the saloon, while the children rushed off to 
 their enthralling sport, and then our host said : 
 
 " If you don't feel equal to a prowl, General, will 
 you stay and keep my sister company for a while? I 
 am so anxious to show Mrs. Bohun my gardens." 
 
 Lady Morvaine most graciously seconded this ar- 
 rangement, flattering Humphrey with sentences con- 
 stantly beginning, " Do you remember " this or that? 
 The rain had ceased the day before, and everything 
 was green and beautiful, and the spring flowers were in 
 masses of the greatest perfection. The borders a glory 
 of May-tulips and wallflowers and irises and forget-me- 
 nots, and all sorts of other things coming into bloom. 
 
 Oh ! it gave me so much pleasure to wander along the 
 paths with Sir Hugh. Nothing could be more beauti- 
 ful than the way the whole thing is laid out, or the 
 natural formation of the ground, or the view. He was 
 so charming, too quite a new side of himself he 
 showed me. A side which soothed and comforted me, 
 and made me feel at peace. He really knows all about 
 
 77
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 gardens, and is interested in them, and we talked of 
 our favorite plants and flowers, and what they meant 
 to us. 
 
 " It does seem so awful," he said, as we sat down on 
 a bench under a pergola of coming ramblers, " that you 
 should not have entire control of your lovely old-walled 
 plaisance. It could be such an interest to you, and 
 with your exquisite taste you could make it unique 
 it is so old. " 
 
 " Yes," I agreed, " but there is no use thinking of 
 that, I may not have those joys. Perhaps I shall be 
 able to get a little pleasure out of it, even so. A very 
 old garden does not depress me as a very old house 
 does there in the open air the currents cannot affect 
 one so much. Up in my rooms sometimes the oppres- 
 sion of the spirits of all those sad people who have gone 
 before almost overcomes me. I know it is very foolish 
 of me, but at night once or twice I have been 
 afraid " 
 
 Sir Hugh was leaning upon the back of the bench, 
 sitting sideways, so that he looked right into my face, 
 very near, and I could see every transient expression 
 in his deep-set eyes. A fierce light came into them. 
 
 " I can't bear to think of it," he said, clenching his 
 hand. " How can the General allow you to be all alone 
 in that grim suite! If you were ill in the night, whom 
 could you call? " 
 
 " I could ring for my maid, right in the servants' 
 wing she would come after a while " 
 
 He looked disturbed and troubled. 
 
 " Is there no other place you could have? " he asked. 
 
 " No other where I would be in peace." 
 
 " Of course we cannot talk about things," Sir Hugh 
 went on. " I mean in words but I want you to know 
 
 78
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 that I absolutely understand, and oh! my dear little 
 pale lady, I would do anything in the world for you." 
 
 *' Thank you that makes me happy to feel that," 
 and then I changed the topic. I asked him if he did 
 think I would have been better if I had been knocked 
 about by brothers if it was that perhaps which made 
 me seem so unsatisfactory to Humphrey. " I had one 
 brother, you know," I told him. " He died when I 
 was fourteen. But I was so delicate as a little girl, he 
 was always very tender and kind to me. Bob was his 
 name Bob Ferrers. He was in the Eton Eleven, and 
 might have been captain if he had lived." 
 
 " Bob Ferrers ! " cried Sir Hugh. " Why, he was 
 there with me in the same house one of my dearest 
 friends. And he was your brother! To think I never 
 knew that ! And I have known Lady Langthorpe for 
 quite ten years, but I never connected her with him. 
 How stupid one is if one is not specially interested." 
 
 " I loved Bob very much," I said. " He and I were 
 such chums after my mother died and Letitia married. 
 You cannot think what dreadful grief it was to lose 
 him ; I did not really care what happened then " 
 
 " Oh ! you poor little lonely child ! " he whispered 
 gently. " And at sixteen you were married off to the 
 General. It was a crime. How could you know your 
 own mind at that age ! " 
 
 I did not say my mind had not been consulted. I 
 just looked away over the beautiful scene. 
 
 " It is such a very strange thing," he went on, " how 
 fond Fate seems of throwing the wrong people into 
 bonds, and letting the right people meet too late." 
 
 " Perhaps girls do not have much opportunity of 
 meeting the really nice men," I suggested. " They 
 never seem to want to talk to them or find out if they 
 
 79
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 would be agreeable women some day so I suppose 
 the girls just drift into marriage with some callow 
 youth, or elderly man and often the nice men then 
 are caught by impossible thistledowns who make them 
 pay for all the hearts they have caused to ache." 
 
 " I cannot think of a greater hell on earth," Sir 
 Hugh said fervently, " than to be married to some 
 empty-headed miss who would not understand a word 
 one said to her. It could be an awful tie, marriage 
 or an exquisite bliss if the woman was loving and 
 kind and true, and sympathized with one's real tastes." 
 
 " Yes," I answered, " that sounds ideal. I am per- 
 haps very unorthodox in saying that I think it is hard 
 that the tie must go on forever until death do them 
 part or be broken by disgrace. Surely, if people 
 have borne it bravely for ten years, say, they might be 
 allowed to go free after that without any scandal." 
 
 " It is a difficult question some solution will be 
 evolved some day, I suppose, to level things. Mean- 
 while, here we are ! " and Sir Hugh sighed. 
 
 " My sister Letitia has all sorts of common-sense 
 views upon life. Have you ever talked to her about 
 them? " I asked. 
 
 " I do not know that I have, but I expect she holds 
 the same we all do. There is far too much altruistic 
 nonsense preached by the hypocrites. Human nature 
 will out." 
 
 " Yes I fear so," I agreed. 
 
 He looked at me strangely then he said with 
 gravity: 
 
 " I wonder so much if you will ever let the real you 
 live. I wonder if some day the barriers will be burst 
 that hold that beautiful soul in check." 
 
 I felt troubled *' Do not speculate so, Sir Hugh. 
 80
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 It frightens me, and I am trying to live my life." Then 
 I got up from the seat and cried, " Oh ! it is the happy 
 spring-time. Let us go out in the sun and try to be 
 young like the season, and laugh and not look ahead ! " 
 
 " Yes, you are wise," he answered. " Forgive me 
 I was growing into a bore. But you have the extraor- 
 dinary quality of making me feel that the only thing 
 which matters is to get at all your thoughts and feel- 
 ings. I have an intense desire to be near you I 
 meant to stay in London until Whitsuntide, but I could 
 not ; it was like some magnet drawing me back here. So 
 I made Adelaide come down with me, and arranged to- 
 day, just for this hour alone with you under the sky." 
 
 I trembled all over. What did this mean? Oh! I 
 could not think or listen my only course was to di- 
 vert it lightly aside and keep to the role of the gaiety 
 of the spring-time. So I turned a smiling face to him 
 and walked on quickly. 
 
 , "I am just a country neighbor, Sir Hugh! You 
 must be careful, or all these nice things that you are 
 saying will go to my head ! " 
 
 He strode beside me and he frowned. 
 
 " I cannot bear you to talk like that," he announced. 
 " It is not the least natural to you, and you know it. 
 You also know that they are not ' nice things ' I have 
 been saying, but the truth wrenched from my heart." 
 
 " Then you must not voice them," I said. " Now 
 you have spoilt my happy walk. Let us go back to the 
 house." 
 
 But he stopped suddenly and put his hand on my 
 arm. 
 
 " No, please not that. Forgive me I will in- 
 deed try to be more controlled. I have calculated that 
 my sister will keep the General interested for quite an 
 
 81
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 hour then she was going to propose showing him the 
 new peach-houses, so we have at least half an hour more 
 to ourselves. Tell me that I can make you happy for 
 that little time." 
 
 I thought to myself that it would not be difficult for 
 him to make any woman happy for all her life, but I 
 only said aloud: 
 
 " Show me some other of your haunts, then." 
 
 We strolled on to a very tall hedge of clipped yew, 
 and through a wrought-iron gate in it with a screen of 
 yew planted inside, cut into a weird shape. He took a 
 key from his pocket and unlocked the gate, and held it 
 while I passed through, and found myself, when I got 
 behind the screen, in a garden entirely surrounded on 
 three sides by the yews, except in the middle of the end 
 one, where they are cut into two hooded niches showing 
 the most divine view between with a raised marble bal- 
 ustrade and curved seats. The ground beyond slopes 
 away beneath, and has been artificially lowered, so that 
 the outlook seems to be perched above the world, on a 
 level with the tree-tops of the vast park. Down stone 
 steps at the right-hand side of one bower, almost con- 
 cealed in the yews, there is a small door which opens, I 
 imagine, into the park. The fourth side of the garden 
 is filled in by a wing of the house its tall, narrow 
 windows opening on to a terrace of marble. 
 
 " This is my own particular part of my abode," Sir 
 Hugh said. " Those windows are my sitting-room, and 
 a private staircase goes up to my bedroom above." 
 
 " How enchanting ! " I exclaimed. " To be all alone 
 where no one can get to you unless you wish! By the 
 sun, the aspect must be due west. Is this the roof I 
 can just see when I look east from my turret chamber, 
 then?" 
 
 82
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Yes, and every morning I look out, and know that 
 beyond the trees there is a lady in a Moated Grange 
 whom I would like to fly to." 
 
 We walked up the beautiful green lawn to the marble 
 terrace, where there were comfortable cushioned chairs. 
 Here he paused and spoke: 
 
 " Come in and see my sitting-room, and tell me what 
 you think of it." And he held back the curtain for me 
 to pass. 
 
 " Ah ! this is perfect ! " I could not help exclaiming, 
 when we got inside. 
 
 It is a very tall room, most beautifully panelled, and 
 with low book-cases running all round, and a few good 
 pictures above Dutch interiors and Van der Veldes 
 mostly. Everything is restful, from the huge green 
 leather chairs to the soft tone of the russet silk cur- 
 tains restful and rich and refined. There are no 
 knick-knacks about, but a few exquisite bronzes. It is 
 eminently a man's room, though there are no antlers or 
 guns or swords, such as Humphrey likes to surround 
 himself with. These trophies of the chase we discov- 
 ered in an ante-room beyond, devoted to all sorts of 
 sporting mementoes. 
 
 " It is quite perfect," I said again when we returned. 
 
 " Will you stand still like that there by the win- 
 dow for a moment," Sir Hugh pleaded, " and let me 
 take a snapshot of you with the light coming down on 
 your hair? I have a wonderful camera for interiors, 
 and if you would remove that hat you would be a sweet 
 lady." 
 
 I laughed. " What a schoolboy you are, after all, 
 Sir Hugh! wanting to take photographs at once!" 
 But I unpinned my felt sombrero and put it on a 
 table.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 '* And the coat, too ?" he demanded, helping me to 
 pull it off. " Now you are homelike. I want a pic- 
 ture of you that I can look at with the background of 
 my own room it will comfort me in moments when I 
 am hungry and help me to visualize a dream of what 
 it would be like, if you were here always." 
 
 I could not speak a sudden exquisite joy silenced 
 words, and for a while the reaction of pain did not 
 set in. 
 
 He quickly got his camera and took a number of 
 pictures in different positions, then he put in another 
 set of plates and asked me to sit in a big chair and 
 take a book. 
 
 " I want to pretend we need not hurry, and that you 
 are resting and reading for as long as you like." 
 
 He attended strictly to his business, as photographic 
 artist, until this set, too, was complete, and then he 
 came over to the chair, and, taking my hand, he kissed 
 it with homage. 
 
 " Thank you, sweet Mistress Guinevere," he said. 
 
 I cannot tell of the new feelings which were rushing 
 through me of happiness and pleasure and content- 
 ment and at last sorrow. A cloud came over the 
 afternoon sun, and I shivered. I do not know why. 
 Then I looked up at him standing there so tall and 
 fine. 
 
 " Sir Hugh, please we must return to the others 
 now," I faltered in a half voice. " And oh ! please 
 you must go back to London soon." 
 
 " Darling ! " he whispered and started forward 
 nearer to me, and then he pulled himself together, and 
 without speaking further helped me on with my coat. 
 But both of us were trembling and we did not say a 
 ;word more until we were back beyond the wrought-iron 
 
 84
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 gates again, when he turned to me and whispered, in a 
 
 hoarse, strangled voice: 
 
 " What you ask is hard but I will go." 
 
 And so we came to the morning-room windows and 
 
 saw the sardonic face of Humphrey.
 
 CHAPTER IX 
 JUNE, 1905 
 
 OH! the days that pass! The same thing al- 
 ways: the same duties, the same afternoon 
 drives, the same meals with their jarred con- 
 versation, the same evenings, throbbing my 
 heart out at the piano while my husband dozes in his 
 chair! I have tried so hard to discipline myself. I 
 have taken a whole course of stiff reading, and I have 
 played tennis for hours with Algernon. 
 
 We have entertained the neighbors, too, at a cere- 
 monious dinner party, and some of Humphrey's old 
 friends have been asked on two separate Saturdays to 
 Mondays. But a blank weariness is over everything, 
 alternating with fits of meaningless excitement, and I 
 cannot shake it off. I do not allow myself to look 
 much from the east window, though I know the flag of 
 the Dremonts has never waved from over the trees all 
 this time. But Humphrey heard at the bench on Sat- 
 urday that a large party was coming for Whitsuntide, 
 which falls late this year. I suppose they will be of 
 the same set as the race-week one, but my siste-r Letitia 
 will be among them. She has written to me several 
 times with accounts of her doings. She has often met 
 Sir Hugh, it appears, who has taken to going out again 
 and is seen at all the great houses. 
 
 I wonder if I should like a real season in London. 
 Not that I am ever likely to have one now ; Humphrey 
 
 86
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 says his London days are over, and he means to remain 
 always at Redwood Moat. But next year I shall have 
 to go to a Court again he likes me to do everything 
 that is correct. He himself is settling down into quite 
 a country gentleman, and his temper has been rather 
 better since that last attack of gout. It came out, and 
 he was really ill for a week after we lunched at Minton 
 Dremont and so the worst was over. 
 
 There is such a strange side of him which this place 
 seems to have awakened. He is actually jealous of 
 everything about it, and unconsciously resents my tak- 
 ing any practical interest in it. It has come to such a 
 pass that I dare not remark upon anything, and am 
 gradually growing to be a sort of visitor in the house; 
 no one knowing our daily lives could possibly imagine 
 I am the mistress of it. 
 
 Algernon is having a tutor now until he goes to Eton 
 in the autumn a young man who lodges in the town 
 and comes out every day, so that I see very little of my 
 son except on Sundays. 
 
 The melancholy of my rooms is in tune with my 
 thoughts, and I no longer want to move from them. It 
 is all too ridiculous, though. I dislike melancholy peo- 
 ple to meet, and despise those who give way to brood- 
 ing. Sir Hugh has probably forgotten his momentary 
 emotion by now, and at all events he has the consola- 
 tion of great divertisement. 
 
 The guests at Minton Dremont arrive on Saturday, 
 the day after to-morrow, and just now Humphrey came 
 out here in the garden where I am sitting, a letter in 
 his hand. 
 
 " From Hugh Dremont," he said, " concerning the 
 keeper I wrote to him about. At the end he sends 
 apologies to you for not writing his invitation to you, 
 
 87
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and asks if we will dine on Tuesday. Jack Kaird will 
 be with him, and he thinks I'd like to see him again ; so 
 I would dear old Jack ! " 
 
 *' Yes, that will be nice, to see Sir John again," I 
 agreed. " The dear old man ! And he will be pleased 
 to see his godson." Sir John is Algernon's god- 
 father. 
 
 " Then you can answer the note my hand is stiff 
 to-day. Thank him about the keeper, and say we ac- 
 cept." 
 
 " Where must I address the letter ? " I asked. 
 
 He looked at the paper and found it was written 
 from the Turf Club. " Send it there," he returned. 
 
 I went back into the house and up to my little room, 
 and then wrote a stiff reply, which on my return to the 
 garden I was placing in the bag when Humphrey 
 crossed the hall. 
 
 " What did you say ? show me," he asked. " I 
 did not tell you plain enough about Hedson, the keeper, 
 I think." 
 
 I handed him my letter, and he broke open the en- 
 velope. How fortunate that the acceptance was not 
 couched in more expansive language ! 
 
 " You are extraordinarily stiff, Guinevere," my hus- 
 band remarked. " Sir Hugh has been very civil to you, 
 considering, as your sister told me, how wrapped up he 
 is in that Mrs. Dalison and even though it is only 
 for my sake he has been nice, you need not be so chilly." 
 
 " Surely that will do," I answered ; " I cannot be 
 bothered writing it over again." And I went to the 
 table and addressed a new envelope, and once more put 
 the letter in the bag. 
 
 Humphrey looked at me. 
 
 '* You are certainly the most uninteresting iceberg 
 88
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I've ever met," he announced. " It is remarkable to me 
 how any man could bother with you." 
 
 Once upon a time this very rude speech would have 
 hurt me, but now I seem absolutely indifferent to every- 
 thing any one says it just sounded so many words, 
 that is all. 
 
 I am excited, with a sick sense of excitement which 
 
 I cannot control. I own it to myself. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 I got a note sent over from Letitia on Sunday 
 morning, saying she would come and see me after 
 church. Sir Hugh does all of his country duties well, 
 so he would probably go to church and some of his 
 guests would be sure to accompany him. They did 
 the Duchess and Lady Marjoribanks, and two otKers, 
 but not Mrs. Dalison. I was glad of that. Perhaps 
 she is not there this time. 
 
 He was sitting where I could not see anything but 
 the back of his head, and that gave me a strange thrill. 
 How foolish I am ! 
 
 The party came up to talk to us on the path when 
 we came out, and Letitia linked her arm in mine and 
 drew me on ahead. But at the gate Sir Hugh overtook 
 us again, and said if we would take my sister, he would 
 accompany the other ladies back, and then come and 
 fetch her in the motor. They were not going to lunch 
 until quarter to two, so there would be plenty of time. 
 
 His manner was perfectly cool and casual to me; he 
 seemed to have completely recovered from any emotion 
 he may have felt. I have some pride, at all events, and 
 it took fire immediately, so that I was able to be quite 
 friendly and casual, too, and even Letitia could not dis- 
 cover anything as she glanced at us with the corner of 
 her eve. 
 
 89
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 *' You look extremely attractive, Guinevere, you 
 know," she told me after we had talked some while up 
 in my turret-room. " You seem to have got some bet- 
 ter clothes than usual. But you are awfully pale, dear, 
 as white as a Carl Drushki rose, which is just what you 
 remind me of like the one in your belt. And how 
 goes everything? And you have never let me hear how 
 you got on with Hugh Dremont that afternoon I left 
 you alone together." 
 
 " We got on quite well," I said, sitting down in the 
 northern window-seat. " He is very nice, isn't he? " 
 
 " Yes," answered Letitia, looking at me hard. " But 
 when he manoeuvres to spend hours with a woman he 
 asked me to take Humphrey and Algernon off, you 
 know he generally makes more impression upon her 
 than he seems to have done upon you. Did you snub 
 him frightfully? Something must have occurred to 
 drive him up to London ; he has not been there for three 
 weeks on end like this, now, for more than two years." 
 
 " We lunched with him when his sister was down 
 here; he seemed quite pleasant and agreeable then. I 
 think you weave meanings into things, Letitia," I said. 
 
 But she shook her head. 
 
 " It all seems to me very strange. Perhaps seeing 
 your domestic bliss with Humphrey has inspired him 
 with the idea of marrying. He is quite finished with 
 Mrs. Dalison, and has not selected any one else 
 though Winnie Latrobe was sure her turn would come." 
 
 " Oh, it really is too silly how Sir Hugh seems so 
 important to you all ! " I cried. " Why can't he be 
 left in peace to do what he pleases, without being 
 watched and speculated about all the time? " 
 
 " My dear child," my sister said wisely, " Sir Hugh, 
 besides having a peculiar personal attraction, is colos- 
 
 90
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 sally rich, and possesses the nicest house for our ren* 
 dez-vous in the whole of England. We have not the 
 slightest intention of letting him marry outside our 
 circle, if we can prevent it. Ada was talking to me 
 about it only last night, and saying if he seems restless 
 we had almost better encourage him to look at the 
 Duchess's girl, who is as dull as an owl, and keep him 
 in the family." 
 
 " Letitia, have you all no sense of humor? " I asked, 
 and made myself smile. " From the little I have seen 
 of Sir Hugh, I should say he did not care one snap for 
 any of your opinions or intentions for him, and was a 
 perfectly independent character." 
 
 " So he is ; but if ten or twelve women who are his 
 constant companions determine upon a thing, the cur- 
 rent is too strong for one man to resist, unless he is 
 aware they are plotting and so on his guard and we 
 have all been so awfully clever, poor Hugh has not an 
 idea that sometimes we lead him by the nose ! " 
 
 A sensation of bitter cynical disgust crept over me. 
 Sir Hugh could not be so fine as I thought him if he 
 could not see through these ladies who are his friends. 
 
 I laughed aloud, and I hated the sound of my own 
 mirth it seemed to wither the whiteness of my roses 
 there in the great bowl. They were the first ones out, 
 and I had only been able to gather a few of them. 
 
 " I suppose Humphrey would not let you come and , 
 spend a week with me in town ? " my sister asked. " I 
 believe it would do you good, Guinevere." 
 
 " I do not think you had better suggest it," I re- 
 plied ; " not yet, at any rate. Since his last attack of 
 gout he has been extremely difficult. I would rather 
 drone on now that the warm weather has come 
 than have any rows." 
 
 7 91
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Just then ray maid came to the door from the bed- 
 room there is no approach for men-servants to this 
 room. Parton said Hartington had just sent up to 
 say Sir Hugh had arrived in the motor for Lady Lang- 
 thorpe, and would we descend. 
 
 So we went down the turret stairs and found him 
 alone in the drawing-room. Humphrey was somewhere 
 out in the grounds, it appeared. 
 
 " Don't you think my sister looks very pale, Hugh? " 
 Letitia asked him while she put on her gloves. " I do 
 not believe this place suits her. All that water under 
 her windows, and the horrid gloom of the whole thing. 
 I wish we had her with us at Minton Dremont for this 
 Whitsuntide, where it is all gay and bright." 
 
 " So do I," he answered, but reservedly and without 
 enthusiasm. " I fear the General would not consent, 
 though, and would not himself be willing to come out." 
 
 " We are very well here," I said, " thank you both. 
 I am growing quite accustomed to the things that 
 seemed dark at first the place is getting to suit me." 
 
 " Or you it," retorted Letitia, " which is the aspect 
 of the case which causes me concern. But I suppose 
 there is no use interfering with other people and we 
 must be off, or we shall be late for lunch." 
 
 Sir Hugh never looked at me he seemed anxious 
 to hurry my sister into the motor and get away. Why 
 he came at all for her, instead of just sending the car, 
 I do not know. 
 
 When they had gone an icy sense of loneliness crept 
 over me, so that I held Petrov tight in my arms and 
 caressed him, but no comfort would come even from his 
 velvet fur and affectionate j oy. 
 
 At luncheon I forced myself to talk pleasantly, and 
 Algernon unconsciously helped me out with preco-
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ciously amusing remarks about a stout neighbor who 
 had been in church. Humphrey enjoys obvious jokes 
 like that. Then, afterwards, I went into the garden 
 and made myself read a Life of Caterina Sforza which 
 had just come in my last batch of books. It was Kke 
 a tonic for me. She was no weakling, Madonna del 
 Forli! 
 
 The Monday passed with no communication from 
 Minton Dremont, and Tuesday has come. It is such 
 glorious weather, without a breath of wind, that the 
 flag on the staff hardly showed over the trees 
 when I looked from the east window just now. It has 
 not taken the master of it long to forget the interest 
 he manifested in the lady of Redwood Moat. It is 
 hardly a month since he took the photographs in his 
 sitting-room and called me darling in his attrac- 
 tive voice ! I shook myself, and a feeling of furious con- 
 tempt with myself came over me. Why had I ever been 
 beguiled into friendliness with him, a man accustomed 
 to the scheming adoration and incense of dozens of 
 women ? No doubt, when he felt he had added the scalp 
 of this poor country creature to his belt, he troubled 
 himself no more. Well, he shall see to-night that I am 
 not wearing the willow for him. The Ferrers were not 
 cheap people, accustomed to show their hurts; and 
 though I have been a cowed prisoner for many years, 
 the blood of my race still flows in my veins ! 
 
 I have settled which frock I shall wear a white 
 and silver brocade which suits me and I shall put a 
 bright red rose at one side of my dark hair a co- 
 quettish thing I am quite unaccustomed to ; and, if only 
 it will stay, there is a pink flush in my cheeks now, as I 
 write late before dressing. 
 
 * * *
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I braved Humphrey's wrath and kept him waiting 
 five minutes in the hall. We should not be the first to 
 arrive this time, as usual. I felt so sick with excite- 
 ment that I actually did not hear the words of his re- 
 proaches as we drove along, and just nodded my head 
 when I thought I ought to ; and, fortunately, a few peo- 
 ple were in the drawing-room when we were announced, 
 my sister among them. 
 
 Sir Hugh was being very gay, and our old friend Sir 
 John Kaird came up and chaffed and greeted us affec- 
 tionately. He had arrived in the afternoon, and was 
 to take me in to dinner, it was arranged. Some of the 
 other neighbors were dining, too, so the party was a 
 large one only the Duchess was late and kept every 
 one waiting, to Humphrey's intense disgust. 
 
 I was placed exactly opposite our host, and the low 
 arrangement of the flowers would have allowed me to 
 see him all the time if I had looked, which I determined 
 not to do. There were four round tables, of ten each. 
 Ours seemed to be a very merry one. I do not know 
 what spirit possessed me, but I became quite another 
 person to my usual self full of repartee with Sir 
 John and even a little encouraging to the young man 
 who sat on the other side of me. I felt my cheeks burn- 
 ing and my heart beating until, just as the ices were be- 
 ing removed, I met Sir Hugh's eye, and it was full of 
 wrath and astonishment and pain ! 
 
 Wrath and astonishment would have pleased me, but 
 what could the pain mean? All the bravado seemed to 
 die out of me suddenly; a laugh to my neighbor grew 
 silent on my lips, and I was so glad that the dinner 
 was almost over and we should be moving to the other 
 room. 
 
 I did not dare to glance at our host, and eventually 
 94
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 followed Letitia's blue train into the drawing-room 
 without again having looked over to him. 
 
 My sister endeavored to draw me into the circle of 
 her intimates, and I must say they seemed as though 
 they were trying to be more agreeable to me ; but what 
 she said, or I said, or any of them said, is all a blank 
 to me now as I look back over the gulf that has sep- 
 arated my life from yesterday evening. 
 
 Sir Hugh always has some musicians down for these 
 parties, Letitia told me, and soon they began to play 
 out in the gallery of the saloon, and we went in there, 
 and the men joined us. The young man Mr. Anger- 
 stein, I think his name was who had sat next me 
 at dinner rushed upon me from the throng, and his at- 
 titude was empresse, and his looks much interested as 
 he sprawled with modern unconcern beside me on the 
 sofa. And once more I caught Sir Hugh's eyes as 
 he stood by a tall screen, making politenesses to 
 Lady Essenden, and now all the other emotions 
 were there but scorn was added and this I could 
 not bear. 
 
 The musicians then played a merry two-step. The 
 servants had come in and cleared the saloon while we 
 were at dinner; and Mr. Angerstein asked me to dance. 
 So we started, but after one turn we were stopped by 
 our host. Every one else was dancing, except Hum- 
 phrey and the Duchess's daughter and one or two other 
 people who had gone off to bridge. 
 
 The saloon has long windows opening down to the 
 ground, and when Sir Hugh accosted us we had stopped 
 by one of them. 
 
 " You go on, Jim," he said chaffingly, " and take 
 Miss Joan, who is looking daggers at you, I want a 
 turn with Mrs. Bohun myself." 
 
 95
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 And the young man had to relinquish me with what 
 grace he could. 
 
 Miss Joan Moburn is Mr. Angerstein's fiancee, it 
 
 seems 
 
 When he had got rid of him, Sir Hugh did not sug- 
 gest dancing; on the contrary, he drew me out of the 
 window on to the terrace, and then in at another in the 
 next room, from which he opened double doors, shut- 
 ting them after us, and I found we were in the ante- 
 chamber where the trophies of sport hang and so we 
 came to his sitting-room. The russet silk curtains were 
 drawn, but by their movements one could see the win- 
 dows were open beyond. 
 
 Only a single large shaded electric lamp burned, and 
 the high dark walls were all in shadow. Why I had 
 allowed him to bring me here I do not know one is 
 not always master of oneself in supreme moments of 
 one's life. 
 
 He turned and faced me when we stood upon the 
 great lion-skin hearth-rug, and his eyes were blazing 
 and his face very pale. 
 
 " My God ! " he said sternly, " how can you expect 
 me to bear it ! I went away because I love you so mad- 
 ly, and now you torture me and play with another man 
 under my eyes." 
 
 A wild, unreasoning joy rushed through me a joy 
 which blinded the remembrance of any to-morrows, and 
 I dared no longer look at him, but lowered my head. 
 
 " Guinevere," he went on, " this hideous ache and 
 uncertainty cannot continue I will not suffer it. For 
 God's sake tell me what is in your heart, since I have 
 told you all of mine !" And there was a sob in his deep 
 Voice. 
 
 I was trembling now with passionate emotion. I 
 96
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 could hardly answer him, but I did, trying to call up 
 the thought of all his other loves to aid ray pride. 
 
 " Hush ! " I whispered. " I cannot listen to you, 
 because I am not like you, Sir Hugh, a being to whom 
 love is only a game." 
 
 " Ah ! " he cried. " How little you know me if you 
 think that what I feel for you is a game. But perhaps 
 you have the right to say that to me these scorpion 
 women have poisoned your mind. And what they have 
 told you is true, probably. Once before I said to you, 
 it lies with the woman what effect she produces upon 
 a man. Until I met you they had none of them been 
 able to create more in me than a transient desire and a 
 wish for constant change." 
 
 " But how can you tell the difference between your 
 old emotions and this ? " I said a little bitterly. I 
 longed to believe him, for I knew, as he stood there So 
 splendid and so deeply moved, that I loved him with 
 all my long-numbed heart. 
 
 " It is the difference between the sunlight and the 
 darkness," he answered firmly. "You call from me 
 everything that is good, Guinevere, do not play this 
 comedy with me it is unworthy of you pretending 
 you do not understand." 
 
 " I do understand," I said, " but what can I answer 
 to you ? My life is already as full of pain as I can 
 bear." 
 
 " Oh, my darling ! " he cried, brokenly, and he leaned 
 against the tall chimney-piece and covered his eyes with 
 his hand. " That is the frightful price of it the 
 anguish to think I can bring more sorrow into your 
 life ; but it shall not be sorrow " and he raised his 
 head proudly " I will not do anything which will 
 cause you sorrow. Only tell me the truth. How much 
 
 97
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 do I mean to you ? How deep have I been able to grow 
 in your heart ? " 
 
 I put out my hands blindly, as if to ward off some 
 danger, and he clasped them and pressed them fondly 
 against his breast. 
 
 "Darling, tell me ? " he pleaded gently ; and all fur- 
 ther resistance fled. 
 
 " You have filled the whole of it, Hugh," I whispered, 
 hardly aloud. " So please take care of me and tell me 
 what to do." 
 
 Joy lit all his dear face, and then with immense self- 
 control he dropped my hands. 
 
 " We can live on that, then, for the present, my 
 loved angel," he said. " The knowledge of this divine 
 sweetness between us shall heal our hurts ; and when 
 the imperative necessity for more fulfilment comes, we 
 must leave it to Fate." 
 
 " Yes," I answered, and we looked into each other's 
 eyes, and for one brief second he folded me in his arms 
 and tenderly kissed my hair. 
 
 Then we went back on to the star-lit terrace, where 
 the company were, no one seeing from whence we had 
 come. 
 
 And in our hearts there was the peace and beauty 
 of the cloudless summer night.
 
 CHAPTER X 
 
 JUNE, 1905 
 
 HOW good is the summer ! It has none of the 
 haunting mockery of the spring or is it 
 that my life is glorified and makes its own 
 atmosphere of gladness ? Perhaps with time 
 some other aspect will affect me, but my happiness is 
 as yet too recent to leave room for anything but sweet- 
 ness. Can it be only three days ago that I felt dis- 
 turbed and bitter and hopeless ? How one causes one- 
 self suffering through simple imagination! Hugh and 
 I loved one another then as well as to-day, but all the 
 jarring outside things hid the fact from us, and our 
 imaginations had rendered us both miserable. But now, 
 for the future, I will always try to see the real thing, 
 and let the seeming go. And the real thing is that I am 
 no more a lonely soul, drifting down the tide. 
 
 When we joined the rest of the company on the ter- 
 race on Tuesday night, we <did not stay long there, but 
 returned to the saloon through the same window, and 
 Hugh relinquished me to another partner, and went his 
 way to do his duty; and, but for a brief moment as 
 we said good-night, he did not speak to me again, 
 though once or twice during the evening he touched my 
 hand in passing, or his eye met mine with a look of glad 
 comprehension, and it was as if the angels' song still 
 lingered in my ears. 
 
 " You are certainly improving, Guinevere," my sis- 
 99
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ter told me before we left. " You look quite bright to- 
 night, and have danced like a girl. I believe you have 
 a great deal to tell me if you would." 
 
 And I laughed, and kissed her, and followed Hum- 
 phrey to the carriage. He, too, had enjoyed himself, it 
 appeared, and after his rubber of bridge had smoked 
 for more than an hour with his old friend Sir John 
 Kaird, whom he has persuaded to come on to us to- 
 morrow for a day or two, when his visit to Minton Dre- 
 mont will be over. 
 
 " I suppose you danced, Guinevere," Humphrey said, 
 " when you could find a partner." 
 
 " Yes," I answered. " One or two of the men were 
 quite kind to me, and I enjoyed the pleasant exercise." 
 
 In some ways, because I have been married fourteen 
 years, Humphrey thinks of me as a person as old as 
 himself, and in others I am still, for him, a mere child. 
 That I could ever have been supposed to have desired 
 pleasure and gaiety, he never considered, even when I 
 was not yet twenty. 
 
 I think, now, it was fortunate that I was so ignor- 
 ant and undeveloped and terrified in those first days, 
 because it caused him to suppress all signs of love-mak- 1 
 ing very soon ; and when I began to awaken a little, on' 
 account of the knowledge of life which I gained from 
 my books and my observation, he had fallen into the 
 habit of treating me as a daughter, and one who no 
 longer interested him much, either. I fear I was a 
 great disappointment to him he has told me so con- 
 tinually but as I had no choice in becoming his wife, 
 I do not feel remorse for this. 
 
 It is a terrible sin, in my code of ethics, for human 
 beings to force others into lives that are repugnant to 
 them, and if a man does this, fate will make him pay 
 
 100
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the price. What right had these two men, ror their 
 own ends my father for money and Humphrey for 
 the gratification of a violent and sudden passion 
 what right, I say, had they to take my future and chain 
 it with no chance of escape ? It was hideous injustice. 
 Well, they fettered my liberty and my outward actions, 
 but they could not fetter my heart and my soul; these 
 have been ever free and held in my own keeping, and 
 now they have gone to him who has called them into 
 life and joy and knowledge of their meaning and I 
 feel glorified, and not a sinner. 
 
 " Hugh Dremont loves me " I say it over and over 
 softly to myself as I look at his flag. " And oh ! air and 
 sky and trees, I love him in return ! " 
 
 I am not going to look ahead; I am going to be 
 happy in the present, and, like the birds and flowers 
 and the trees, I too shall rejoice in the summer. 
 
 It is comfort enough to sit here and dream to re- 
 member his looks and his words his dear face moved, 
 and his loved voice trembling. And they none of them 
 matter, those scheming ladies! They may set their 
 
 snares in vain 
 
 I shall not mind now if I do not often see him. The 
 consciousness that love is between us will suffice. I feel 
 that I must be gentler, tenderer to the whole world 
 that is all. Love has melted my frozen heart and torn 
 the sad gray veil from my eyes. Surely the roses are 
 more perfumed surely the sky is more blue surely 
 I am still young and comely ! 
 
 Ah ! this is the meaning of life. 
 
 Just as I turned from the window, I heard voices 
 coming into the turret stairs from the little library 
 
 101
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 below, and I recognized them as Letitia's and 
 Hugh's. 
 
 "Guinevere!" my sister called. "May we come 
 up? I told Hartington he need not send for you, I 
 would fetch you myself." And, without waiting, she 
 appeared through the narrow door, followed by her 
 host. 
 
 " Hugh has been a perfect darling," she announced. 
 " Brought me over to see you in the motor, and is 
 going to let me go on in it to Mitley it is only 
 fifteen miles, you know. And you must keep him here 
 until I return. We crept away from the others while 
 they had dispersed, immediately after lunch, for letters 
 or sleep." 
 
 " I am delighted to see you, Letitia," I said. 
 
 " Humphrey told us on Tuesday night that he had 
 to go in to Wareford on county business to-day," she 
 went on, " and would not be back until the evening ; so, 
 I thought as you would be alone and have nothing to 
 do we would pounce upon you." 
 
 She sat down in the west window-seat for a minute 
 while she looked round the room. Hugh stood leaning 
 on the back of the big chair. 
 
 " You have got your tiny piano, I see," she laughed, 
 *' disguised under that piece of brocade. You might 
 play to us a little ; it is so soothing, and when I have 
 had enough I'll slip away." 
 
 I sat down at once and they were all joyous 
 things which came to my finger-tips; and in a few 
 minutes Letitia rose. 
 
 " There ! " she said. " Now, Hugh, take me down 
 and put me into the motor, and then you can come 
 back again." And she kissed me and turned to the 
 stairs. 
 
 102
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 And for those minutes while he was away, I was 
 making up my mind. 
 
 The joy of having him up here in my own little 
 shrine would be very great but it certainly would 
 not be prudent. I must take him back to the drawing- 
 room, and perhaps to the bench in the garden where 
 the hedge of roses grows and the old sun-dial warns us 
 of the passage of time. 
 
 But as I was thinking thus, he bounded up the stairs 
 with the glad rush of a boy. 
 
 He came over to me where I stood looking out on 
 the trees and he took and kissed my hand. 
 
 " I had to come," he whispered. " This glorious day 
 seemed calling me to you. And then that dear sister 
 of yours remembered that it would be possible, and 
 suggested the way." 
 
 A perfectly delicious and tender thrill had seized 
 me. and I could not raise my eyes to meet his. 
 
 " Darling," he gasped, " if you look down like that, 
 I cannot remain as calm as I wish to be. Look at me, 
 Guinevere." 
 
 So I did as I was bidden, and read all the tender pas- 
 sion he was feeling in that brief glance. 
 
 " Say that we absolutely understand one another," 
 he commanded fondly ; and I answered : 
 
 " I feel we do, Hugh, and it is going to change 
 everything, and make the gray shadows all golden." 
 
 " Sit down beside me in the east window-seat," he 
 pleaded, " just for a moment ; and let us look over the 
 tree-tops together to my home. Guinevere I love 
 you so." 
 
 He took my hand and drew me to the low sill and sat 
 down beside me so close that he touched me, and I 
 shivered with the emotion it caused me. 
 
 103
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Hugh," I whispered. " No - we must not stay 
 here. Oh ! I asked you to take care of me and all 
 this that I am feeling frightens me. Let us go into 
 the garden, Hugh " 
 
 " Darling " and he looked into my eyes with grave 4 
 tenderness " do not fear." 
 
 But a wild longing for I know not what to be 
 folded to his heart, I think convulsed me, and I 
 started to my feet, and led the way down the turret 
 stairs and so out into the glorious sunlight, and to the 
 old bench by the sun-dial. 
 
 He followed me without a word. 
 
 I picked a red rose nervously, and stuck it in my 
 belt. My foolish heart was still beating tempestuously, 
 and I could not speak; but my emotion was all joy. 
 
 Then we sat down beside each other at last, and 
 there was a happy silence between us, while Hugh 
 seemed to be taking in every line of me. I could feel 
 his eyes penetrating me as I looked down and played 
 with another rose. Then we began to talk. 
 
 We spoke shyly at first, like two children, but after- 
 ward we opened our hearts to each other and told of 
 the thoughts of our souls. 
 
 We did not speak directly again of love our per- 
 sonal love, I mean but all the under-meaning of 
 things was full of tenderness. 
 
 Then we talked of the books which please us, and he 
 asked me if I would let him give me some. 
 
 " It will make me happy, Guinevere, if I may. To a 
 man it is always a pleasure to give what she cares for 
 to the woman he loves. It is one of the instincts in the 
 male character ; he likes to feel that he has the right to 
 provide her with all material things. It is so interest- 
 ing to trace instincts, and what they go back to." 
 
 104
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Yes," I agreed. " And that . instinct in man goes 
 back, I suppose, to the time when outward things were 
 his only means of showing the rest of the tribe that a 
 woman was his belonging, as the trappings on his horse 
 showed it was his also." 
 
 " Probably but civilization has spiritualized the 
 feeling with us; that being the foundation, we have 
 woven into it the joy that she whom we love shall touch 
 and be surrounded by the things we have given her, 
 that the link may be greater between us." 
 
 '* I dare say some men who have sentiment think of 
 it like that," I said ; " but not many of them." And 
 I thought of Humphrey, who is still at the tribal 
 stage in his conception of women solaces for the 
 bodies of men, household drudges if financial cir- 
 cumstances make it necessary, and, in all cases, inferior 
 beings. 
 
 Hugh looked away into distance, and my eyes fol- 
 lowed his. There, to our left, was the old gray, for- 
 bidding pile, with its grim turret and narrow windows 
 keeping guard, and in front of us, above the high gar- 
 den wall, we could just see the roofs of the later build- 
 ing, with the summer sky for background, and to the 
 right, far blue hills. There was a warm hush over 
 everything ; nature seemed drowsing with happiness and 
 peace. 
 
 " Guinevere," said Hugh, " is it not wonderful that 
 it has taken us all these years to find each other, and 
 that now we have so much to say, we hardly know 
 where to begin? " 
 
 " I love to talk to you, Hugh," I said ; and as I said 
 it, he turned glad eyes to me and moved a little nearer 
 on the seat. " I have never had a friend before to whom 
 I could really say my thoughts. I am alwa} T s analyzing; 
 
 105
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 everjthing, and the meaning of things, and have no one 
 to tell the conclusions I come to." 
 
 " I want to hear them on all subjects," he answered 
 fondly. " I am sure they are all wise and true, and 
 they have been accumulating in that dear little head 
 for how many years ! " 
 
 I thought for a moment. Then.: 
 
 " Ten, at least," J told him. " For the first three or 
 four after I was married, I do not think I developed at 
 all. I was still like a child of fourteen, and just numb 
 with the fear and horror of everything; and so very 
 delicate I never like to remember that time. But 
 afterwards, when I lived at Bath with Humphrey's old 
 sisters, then I used to read and think all day and most 
 of the night." 
 
 He looked very interested, so I went on. " I read 
 everything you can think of, and began to realize the 
 deep injustice and the hideous hypocrisy of most civil- 
 ized people's lives." 
 
 " Yes, we are all prisoners," he agreed, rather sadly. 
 " But your life, which ought to have been surrounded 
 with the tenderest care, was peculiarly harsh and bar- 
 ren. Oh ! my dear, if I had only known you then ! " 
 And his voice was full of regret. " I am five years 
 older than you. I was twenty-one when you were mar- 
 ried. If fate had let me ride by instead of the Gen- 
 eral!" 
 
 " You perhaps would not have cared at all for me 
 I was ridiculously shy and timid, and had not a word 
 to say to any one. I think it is having been so lonely 
 that has taught me things cultivated me, perhaps, 
 and turned me into that which pleases you now; so we 
 must not regret anything." 
 
 ** No, regrets are weakness. What I wish now is to 
 106
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 make life fairer for you, if I can, with my sympathy 
 and understanding. I promise I will try to keep my 
 love for you within the bounds which cannot cause any 
 sorrow. Darling, you are so fragile-looking and so 
 utterly sweet, you appeal to everything that is strong 
 and protective in a man." 
 
 " It will be happiness enough for me to know there 
 is some one who cares for me," I said. " I do not de- 
 sire anything more, Hugh. I have never loved any one 
 in my life before and I am nearly thirty-one ! " 
 
 Such a strange look came into his face, of worship 
 at first, and then he drew in his breath as though dis- 
 turbed, and clasped his hands. 
 
 " Darling," he whispered, with his dear voice very 
 deep, " you must help me to be always as you wish and 
 to deserve this great gift." And then he stopped 
 abruptly, as though afraid to continue the subject; and 
 I knew that he was thinking, just as I was, that it 
 would be very difficult to keep our emotions on the 
 plane where they now were, and that we must help each 
 other in this. 
 
 Then we spoke of Minton Dremont, after a little 
 silence. Hugh loves his home profoundly, but to hear 
 him talk among his guests, treating all subjects with a 
 cynical gaiety, no one would imagine he felt so deeply, 
 or had sentiment over anything. 
 
 It was nearly six o'clock when Letitia returned and 
 came through the wrought-iron gates from the court- 
 yard to join us, finding us pacing up and down the far, 
 walk which is bordered by old gnarled apple trees. 
 
 " You have had a peaceful time ! " she laughed. 
 
 " And now, Hugh, we ought to hurry, as I am afraid! 
 
 I have made you stay much too long away from your 
 
 other guests ; and, considering it is the last day of this 
 
 8 107
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 delightful party, they will be sufficiently mad with me. 
 Fortunately, there was a puncture as I arrived at Mit- 
 ley mended long before I thought of leaving, but we 
 shall have to make the most of that ! " 
 
 Letitia is so cheery always; she brings an atmos- 
 phere of material common-sense with her which is ex- 
 tremely good for me, and we all smiled gaily as they 
 hurried off. Hugh and I had even forgotten to go 
 into the house for tea, and as I got to the drawing- 
 room alone, presently I saw Hartington had only sent 
 up my small tray laid for one. Did he not realize, then, 
 that I had had a visitor remaining after the motor had 
 gone? 
 
 Letitia had left a note for Humphrey, which she said 
 I was to give him, telling him she had brought it over 
 herself; and when he and Algernon returned at about 
 seven, I handed it to him. 
 
 " Letitia and Sir Hugh Dremont brought this," I 
 said. " Letitia was on her way to Mitley in the motor. 
 The party breaks up to-morrow, when Sir John comes 
 to us." 
 
 If Humphrey had asked me any questions, I would 
 have told the exact truth. I cannot bear subterfuge; 
 and to be honest with myself, I tried even to word 
 my announcement so that he could ask if he wished, 
 but he made no remark as he opened the letter. I 
 watched his face as he read, having no idea what the 
 contents could be. He frowned first, and then he 
 smiled. 
 
 ' You know all about this, of course, Guinevere," he 
 said gruffly, but not in the snarling tone he uses when 
 he is going to be disagreeable. 
 
 " No, I do not," I answered. " My sister handed me 
 the letter as she was leaving. What is it about ? " 
 
 108
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 He looked suspicious, as usual, but tossed me over 
 the missive and sat down in his chair. 
 
 It was one of Letitia's masterpieces, a mixture of 
 insidious flattery and cajolement, concealing the pith, 
 which was to ask him to let her have me to stay with 
 her in London for her ball, which happened to be com- 
 ing off in the following week. I had not stayed with 
 her for three years, she pointed out, and never in Lon- 
 don, and she would only keep me the inside of the week, 
 as she herself would be leaving on the Saturday for a 
 Sunday visit before Ascot began. 
 
 I made no remark whatever. Experience has taught 
 me the wisest course is always silence with Humphrey. 
 
 " Well? " he growled. " I suppose you want to go? 
 You have been looking so damn pale and peaky lately, 
 perhaps the change may buck you up a bit make you 
 less of a ghost. If you had even half your sister's vital- 
 ity it would be a mercy " 
 
 " Am I to accept, then ? " I asked gently. " I would 
 like to be with Letitia for a few days very much, if 
 you will allow me to go." 
 
 " Do as you please," my husband returned. " If 
 you don't want any more clothes. I have had quite 
 enough expenses this year as it is." 
 
 " I do not require anything, thank you," I answered. 
 " And I hope I may be less dull when I come back. I 
 am afraid I have been tiresome, but I have been tired, 
 or something silly. I will write to Letitia to-night ; she 
 will be so delighted, I know." 
 
 " Go and dress now," said Humphrey. " I won't be 
 kept waiting for dinner in my own house while I am 
 master of it." And then, as he got up and was going 
 to the door that leads to his wing, he turned and looked 
 at me critically, and, coming back, said discontentedly : 
 
 109
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Algernon is getting beyond himself. He was thun- 
 deringly impertinent at luncheon to-day. I won't let 
 him dine down to-night, as he was promised. You ought 
 to have some influence upon him, but you have none." 
 
 " I do not think any one will ever influence Alger- 
 non," I sighed. " He is so like you, Humphrey, and 
 you know you would never have let any woman influence 
 you, I am sure, at any time of your life." 
 
 This pleased him, and he went off to dress, with that 
 sardonic smile on his lips which I know means satisfac- 
 tion and I almost bounded up the stairs, two steps 
 at a time, filled with the j oy of my coming visit. 
 
 But when I got into my room, I heard a noise in the 
 turret chamber, and went there to find Algernon stand- 
 ing staring out of the north window, and kicking the 
 stone wall below the sill. 
 
 He turned, and his handsome face was dark with 
 wrath. 
 
 " Father is a beast, mum ! " he blurted out. " I hate 
 him, don't you? And I wish he was dead." 
 
 Tears of rage were so near his big gray eyes, I 
 longed to caress and comfort him. 
 
 " Darling ! " I said, and held out my arms ; and for 
 once in his life my son let me clasp him and kiss his 
 curly hair without my being rebuffed. Great sobs shook 
 him, but his eyes were dry now. 
 
 " To insult me before the grooms ! " he stammered. 
 " To treat me as if I were still ten years old ! He hit 
 me with his riding whip, mother in the inn yard at 
 Wareford and now he says I am to stay upstairs, 
 like a baby ! I won't bear it. Some day I will kill him, 
 and then they will hang me, and that will be the end of 
 the family. And a good thing, too ! " 
 
 Oh ! the anguish to hear him talk so my dear boy ! 
 110
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I forgot all the joy of my coming visit, and tried to 
 soothe him with my sympathy, but I could not comfort 
 him or bring another mood; and at last I was obliged 
 to rush back to dress and go down and face Humphrey, 
 a mad indignation in my heart.
 
 CHAPTER XI 
 
 one lives very much out of the world and 
 suddenly comes into it, one is struck by the 
 rust one has allowed to accumulate, even 
 when, as in my case, my lonely mind is always 
 occupied with books and ideas and not the ways of 
 people. Still, introspection, on however broad lines it 
 may be indulged in, is a warping occupation. And now 
 that I have been for three days in Letitia's dazzling 
 society of thrust and parry, rush and instantaneous 
 decisions, I seem to place fresh values upon things and 
 see everything with new eyes. 
 
 Letitia's set are brilliant creatures, many of them, 
 not burdened with hearts or any inconvenient emotions 
 which hamper their doings. They seem all so satiated 
 with pleasure that they turn to any new thing while it 
 charms them, and then throw it away the moment it 
 palls. 
 
 On the Monday evening when I arrived there was a 
 dinner-party, and Hugh Dremont was one of the num- 
 ber of guests. I did not then know what was in my 
 sister's mind upon the subject, and so behaved with my 
 usual reserve. She had not put him next me, or any- 
 where near, and I never allowed my eyes to stray to his 
 or my attention to wander from the most amusing 
 young man who had taken me in. And once or twice, 
 when I looked up at Letitia, I saw her glance fixed on 
 me in a rather puzzled way. 
 
 We had only a short time in the drawing-room after-
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ward before the men joined us, because we were all 
 going on to a ball a married ball, Letitia had told 
 me, which would not bore me as most balls bored every 
 one; and twelve or thirteen women had dined, so we 
 only talked in small groups. 
 
 In ours Lady Marjoribanks was one of them, and 
 the Duchess and two others. They no longer glanced 
 at me suspiciously, as at first, and while ignoring me 
 as an inoffensive nonentity they were not unfriendly. 
 
 They spoke of everything with unconscious cynicism. 
 The Duchess, it appeared, had been getting up a huge 
 charity ball for some time, which she had made every 
 Jewess and amenable foreigner climbing into the sacred 
 portals of society in England take tickets for, and 
 bring parties to, and then, at the last moment, had not 
 gone herself. 
 
 " I do think you should have shown up, Ermyn- 
 trude," Lady Marjoribanks announced. " We must 
 play the game now, with the Radicals coming in, or we 
 shall lose our influence. I am all for making these 
 creatures pay for their footing among us, but you 
 should have given them some return. Numbers of them 
 must have heard that your whole party went off to 
 EarPs Court and exploited the water chute and flying 
 boats. You might have gone into the Grafton Gal- 
 leries for a few minutes." 
 
 " Darling, we weren't dressed, don't you see? " the 
 Duchess murmured plaintively. " I had forgotten all 
 about the horrid ball, and Charlie Vernaby had had a 
 delightful river lunch party, which we got back so late 
 from we all decided to finish the evening together be- 
 fore coming home to dress for Winnie's midnight Co- 
 tillon. So we went into Earl's Court just as we were, 
 and quite enjoyed ourselves. I never remembered until 
 
 113
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 next morning, when I read the papers. One of those 
 horrible halfpenny rags was quite rude about it, and I 
 had to make my secretary write an explanation and 
 smooth the thing down." 
 
 " Ermyntrude, you are incorrigibly vague," Letitia 
 said, " but it is one of your charms." 
 
 " Hugh has got an absent look in his eyes. I no- 
 ticed it at dinner," Lady Marjoribanks now remarked, 
 in a slightly lower tone, to my sister. " What does 
 this portend, do you think? Winnie felt quite sure of 
 him before Whitsuntide, but something must have hap- 
 pened, for, as you know, nothing advanced during the 
 week." 
 
 " He is only having a breathing space," Letitia said, 
 " Winnie will secure him all right if she does not hurry 
 him unless I have a look in myself," and she laughed 
 gaily, knowing they all knew she was otherwise engaged 
 for the moment, and had no intention of re-cutting for 
 partners in the game of flirtation until the season 
 should be over. 
 
 " Was there any one at Mitley the day you took him 
 there, pet? " the Duchess joined in. " That was mean 
 of you to keep him the whole afternoon." 
 
 " Yes," Letitia admitted, with apparent reluctance. 
 " There was a new American staying in the house, very 
 pretty and divinely dressed I thought her dangerous 
 at the time." 
 
 This announcement was greeted with cries of interest, 
 and the group drew together to hear of their possible 
 common enemy, while an exquisite sense of mirth and 
 mischief crept over me, as I sat very quietly on the sofa. 
 What would they all have said had they known that Sir 
 Hugh had never gone to Mitley at all, but had spent the 
 time in the walled garden with me? But beyond the
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 mirth there came a sense of the necessity for caution. 
 Letitia must guess something, and she would never trou- 
 ble to imply a false presumption like this to her dear 
 friends if she did not think the matter grave enough to 
 justify it. I must hardly even speak of Hugh before 
 any of them; that was clear. 
 
 He came straight over to me when the men entered 
 the room, and there was a hungry light in his dear eyes. 
 But I was like marble, and with new-born resource 
 whispered behind my fan before he could speak: 
 
 " Please don't take any notice of me I will tell you 
 why if we have a chance," and I turned away and pre- 
 tended to be interested in old Colonel Hardwicke, a wit 
 of Humphrey's date. Hugh moved on and sat beside 
 Lady Marjoribanks, as though it had been his original 
 intention, and a gleam of satisfaction grew in her nar- 
 row eyes. 
 
 The sense of mischief and fun did not leave me, and 
 Letitia linked her arm in mine and drew me into the 
 conservatory for a second as we were all preparing to 
 go downstairs and start for the ball. 
 
 " Guinevere," she whispered, " you are much cleverer 
 than I thought. Keep it up the whole evening, dear. 
 I will explain to Hugh, and he will come and breakfast 
 with us alone to-morrow. They are on the qui vive, as 
 you can see, and it would be fatal to give them any 
 scent so soon." 
 
 The result of this was that at the ball Hugh never 
 came near me, and I did not enjoy myself; after the 
 first excitement of the situation was over, a dull longing 
 for his voice and companionship crept over me. It 
 would not be much satisfaction only to be able to look 
 at him all the time, I felt. 
 
 At supper we did chance to be at the same table. 
 115
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 The ball was at a great house, with everything most 
 beautifully done, and our table was up in a corner ; but 
 the man whom I had gone in with the same who had 
 been my partner at dinner did not give me the oppor- 
 tunity to exchange remarks with my neighbors, and as 
 we all got up and Hugh passed me, he, for one second, 
 surreptitiously grasped my hand so forcefully that it 
 hurt. Then joy came back again. The strong touch 
 conveyed comfort he, too, was feeling that the re- 
 strictions of the evening were beginning to be unbear- 
 able. 
 
 I was standing with the Duchess for a moment after- 
 ward when he came up and chaffed with her, and then, 
 in an indifferent and rather bored tone, he said, as 
 though duty forced him : 
 
 *' I hope you like London, Mrs. Bohun. You are 
 staying with your sister, I suppose? " 
 
 " Yes," I answered demurely, and he went on : 
 
 '* Would you care to see the famous Watteaus ? 
 There is not such a crush now." And, as the Duchess's 
 partner came to claim her, he and I moved to the door 
 and, finding two seats on a sofa in a little boudoir down 
 the gallery, we sank into them. 
 
 " This is driving me perfectly mad, darling," Hugh 
 said. " I could not stand it a moment longer. I felt 
 murderous toward all my old friends." Then he looked 
 away indifferently as two of them entered the room. 
 " Letitia will be angry with me, I am afraid, if we stay 
 more than a minute together," he went on, " but I had 
 to bring you here, just to tell you I love you, again 
 and you look like the sweetest white rose. I am coming 
 to breakfast at ten to-morrow morning, on my way 
 from my ride. Say you hate all this, too, and would 
 much rather be with me all alone." 
 
 116
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 How his words thrilled me ! But Lady Latrobe, the 
 " Winnie " who has marked him out for her prey, was 
 facing us, and I felt the whole of my arts would be 
 needed not to betray the smallest interest. So I said I 
 thought Letitia wished to go now, and we had better 
 look for her. Then I rose, and, when my face could no 
 longer be observed, I faltered, " Yes but you know 
 it, Hugh." 
 
 With this sweet knowledge between us, we returned 
 to the ballroom and stood a moment indifferently, and 
 Letitia came up, and Hugh joined the Duchess again, 
 and soon we started for home. 
 
 In her electric brougham Letitia grasped my hand. 
 
 " Guinevere," she said, " I am not going to ask you 
 a single question, dear, but you can infer that I know 
 exactly where Hugh Dremont's much sought-after 
 glance is desiring to turn. Well, they won't let you 
 keep him in peace if they ever know. I had one mo- 
 ment of difficulty with them to-night, as you must have 
 observed, and had to tell some fearful fibs. You will 
 be careful, won't you, child? " 
 
 " There is nothing to be careful about, Letitia," I 
 said. " I like Sir Hugh very much, and he likes me, I 
 think that is all." 
 
 " Guinevere, you will make me angry if you go on 
 pretending so," my sister said sternly for her. " Hugh 
 is not nearly so silly he realizes that to see you at 
 all he must trust some one, and he knows me well 
 enough, even though you do not appear to do so, to be 
 able to trust me." 
 
 " Oh, Letitia, I did not mean not to trust you. For- 
 give me," I implored her. 
 
 " Well, now we understand one another, dear," she 
 returned, giving my hand a squeeze, " so we need not 
 
 117
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 say any more. Only, don't take it all too seriously, 
 that is all I ask. Hugh is frightfully attractive, and I 
 think he is really in love with you for the first time 
 in his life" 
 
 " How am I not to take it seriously, then, Letitia ? 
 As you say, he is frightfully attractive," I sighed. " I 
 am afraid to look ahead for a moment. We have set- 
 tled to be friends and help one another, and just for a 
 little while I want to be happy with that." 
 
 " So you shall," Letitia assured me, " as long as you 
 are with me, at least, dear. And when you go back to 
 your prison-house, you must manage how you can. I 
 think you are too proud ever to make a scandal, and 
 after to-night we won't talk of anything like this. Be- 
 lieve me, I quite understand." 
 
 Next morning I was dressed at ten o'clock and had 
 gone down into my sister's sitting-room, where a cozy 
 breakfast was already laid out her house is in Nor- 
 folk Street, and her rooms look out on the Park and 
 presently she came in, in a ravishing confection of lace 
 and chiffon, blooming like a ripe peach. 
 
 " If it had only been any one else but Hugh," she 
 said, as she kissed me good morning, " we could have 
 had the most enchanting parties of four, Guinevere 
 I and my amusing friend, and you and yours. But I 
 dare not even trust Albert with such an exciting fact 
 as Hugh's admiration for you, because, although he 
 would not say a word now, perhaps, or ever intend to, 
 Ada would certainly get it out of him in the autumn. I 
 shall most likely have finished with him by then, and 
 she always extracts every one's minutest secrets when 
 the disconsolate ones go to her for consolation in 
 between their affaires. She is quite good-natured 
 with us, though Ada but she would never forgive 
 
 118
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 me if she found out I had hoodwinked her about 
 Hugh." 
 
 " I expect these little intrigues are a diversion for 
 you all," I said ; " otherwise you would be so frightfully 
 tired of the same round, year after year." And I looked 
 out of the window at the green June trees, and tried to 
 banish the jar that these cynical reflections caused me. 
 The thought that Hugh and I were being " arranged 
 for " like the rest, our meetings connived at, even by 
 my own sister fretted my spirit. It turned the whole 
 thing into something commonplace, something akin to 
 the flirtations of the world which I had hitherto de- 
 spised. Letitia divined my thoughts, it would appear, 
 for she laughed softly. 
 
 " Darling goosie ! " she said. " In all affairs of the 
 heart, you must above all things keep your head. I 
 could not possibly enjoy my very agreeable life as I 
 do, if I held your romantic notions. Instead of which, 
 I amuse myself and take an artistic pleasure out of 
 managing each of my fancies with consummate skill." 
 And she laughed her rich, happy laugh again. " But, 
 to continue with what I was saying; we can't have 
 parties of four, so while you are here, pet, I am going 
 to devote myself to your interests alone, and if I do not 
 send you back to Redwood looking a new creature, I 
 shall be much disappointed." 
 
 Before I could say anything in reply, Louise, Leti- 
 tia's elderly French maid, came in to say the butler 
 had just sent a message from Sir Hugh Dremont, ask- 
 ing if he might come up for a moment, as he was fright- 
 fully hungry after his ride, and wanted some food. 
 
 All the servants here seem to know Hugh, and 
 Louise's face was beaming. 
 
 " You don't mind, Guinevere," Letitia asked inno- 
 119
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 cently, " do you? I want to settle about the Opera 
 to-night with Hugh. Louise, tell Purfleet to order 
 fresh coffee and some very crisp bacon. Sir Hugh al- 
 ways asks for that, you know." And when the maid 
 had retired, my sister smiled. " Langthorpe and Hugh 
 constantly ride together early, and often breakfast 
 with me up here. It is not at all unusual, child," she 
 said. 
 
 My brother-in-law is away at Newmarket for a day 
 or two, seeing his horses, and we are alone. 
 
 I had conquered my sense of jar, and felt a shy hap- 
 piness when Hugh, tall and distinguished in his perfect 
 riding clothes, came into the room. 
 
 He had that fresh, exquisitely soigne, outdoor look 
 which is so attractive, and Letitia's dog gave little 
 barks of welcome, and her piping bull-finch set up his 
 tiny song, and Hugh's dark-blue eyes were glad and 
 laughing like a boy's as he greeted us in his casual, 
 delightful way. 
 
 " Purfleet tells me my bacon is coming," he said, as 
 he sat down at the little table. " Have you told your 
 sister how I dash in now and then and eat you out of 
 house and home? " 
 
 Our breakfast was so merry the change and relief 
 after the sombre and often thunderous morning meals 
 at home ! 
 
 Letitia and Hugh chaffed about everything of the 
 night before: their whole set's doings, and then the po- 
 litical news of the morning; and finally they began 
 about our future arrangements. 
 
 " Guinevere is only going to be allowed to stay until 
 Saturday, you know, Hugh, and to-day is Tuesday. 
 Just as a favor to me, think out four days of amuse- 
 ment for her. There is my ball to-morrow night, and 
 
 120
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Ada's on Thursday we must go to but I can get 
 out of anything to-night and Friday, although both are 
 filled up, if you can devise something thrilling. There 
 is a moon, and it might be nice if you gave those dull 
 Northumberland neighbors of yours a dinner on one of 
 the evenings, at Maidenhead, and we had a river party. 
 The son rather amuses me in his bucolic way, while the 
 sister and her fiance would make the six. Guinevere has 
 never been on the river have you, dear? " 
 
 " Never," I agreed, while I thrilled at the picture 
 this called up. 
 
 " We can motor down in the afternoon," said Hugh. 
 " I'll go and find the Northeys when I leave. It is a 
 brilliant idea. They are only up for Ascot, and do not 
 know a soul; they will certainly be able to come, I 
 expect. We ought to have a jolly day." 
 
 " That is settled, then, for Friday," Letitia affirmed. 
 " But there is all to-day and to-night. You have often 
 been seen at the Opera with me before, Hugh, haven't 
 you? But one can't talk there, in peace. Supposing 
 you and Guinevere motored down to Richmond with a 
 picnic basket, and had a little meal about seven o'clock 
 in the Park? There are lots of nice places. You could 
 get back by nine, and either, or both, could join me at 
 the Opera, where I shall go in my box with Beatrice 
 Trehearn." 
 
 I had a shrewd suspicion that they had discussed and 
 arranged the whole of these things beforehand, and this 
 comedy of Letitia's suggestions was only for my bene- 
 fit. But by this stage some feverish excitement was 
 possessing me, and I no longer cared whether they had 
 or had not. If fate, and not any of my own doings, 
 had thrown this chance of happiness into my lap, I 
 would be a fool not to take advantage of it. So I ac- 
 
 121
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 quiesced in everything they evolved for my diversion, 
 and presently Hugh got up to leave us. 
 
 " We are all lunching at Winnie's, aren't we ? " my 
 sister said, while Hugh kissed her hand. " Then Guine- 
 vere and I must pay some calls ; but I shall drop her at 
 Victoria, and you can pick her up there and return her 
 safely here by nine o'clock. It will hardly be dark then, 
 and, as I said before, there is a moon." 
 
 When he had left us, Letitia came over close to me 
 as I stood looking out of the window, and put her hand 
 on my shoulder. 
 
 " We will take a thick chiffon veil, Guinevere," she 
 said, " in the electric brougham. Hugh will be sure to 
 have put in an extra coat for you in his motor. He will 
 probably drive himself, so you won't be bothered with 
 a chauffeur. You ought to have an enchanting after- 
 noon, dear, and any one of us would give half a life- 
 time to be in your place with Hugh not schemed 
 for, and caught but eager and making all the diffi- 
 culties smooth himself. It was hardly my brain which 
 devised this charming outing for you, you may guess ! 
 But appearances must be kept up." Then she laughed 
 and went off to dress, leaving me standing looking out 
 upon the Park, where the trees seemed to have taken on 
 a fresh note of green.
 
 CHAPTER XII 
 
 days are marked out in one's life as 
 blessed by the gods; but this one at first 
 seemed as if it would not be so. The few 
 moments while I put on my veil at Victoria 
 Station waiting-room, after Letitia had left me, were 
 exceedingly unpleasant to me. I felt humiliated when I 
 ought to have taken it all as a delicious escapade and 
 joke. But I trembled and shook, and felt hot and cold, 
 and as if every human being knew me and intended to 
 tell Humphrey. 
 
 Hugh did not keep me waiting a single second, and 
 wore goggles himself and was unrecognizable as he 
 helped me into a big coat of his ; and we got off almost 
 wordless, and spun along among the traffic. I have 
 hardly ever been in a motor before, and the fast pas- 
 sage through the air gave me pleasure and steadied my 
 nerves. But I felt I had not a single thing to say, and 
 we hardly exchanged a sentence until we turned in to 
 Richmond Park. Then he looked down at me, and asked 
 in an anxious voice if I were well I had been so very 
 pale at luncheon at Lady Latrobe's, and not daring 
 even to look at me much had irritated him so. 
 
 " Yes, I am quite well," I said, and fell into silence 
 again. 
 
 I could not see the expression of his face under that 
 mask, and presently we stopped, by a great clump of 
 trees, and an old groom came forward and touched his 
 hat. Hugh pointed out to him a modest hamper and 
 some rugs. 
 9
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " When you have found a perfect place, William, 
 come back and fetch these," he said. Then, turning to 
 me, he drew off the goggles and I saw his dear eyes were 
 eager and anxious, and that his habitual look of perfect 
 assurance and whimsical calm had left his face. 
 
 " No one could possibly know you in that veil," he 
 told me, " and William will find us a secluded spot ; he 
 has been my London head groom since I left Eton, and 
 is as discreet as the grave. Do not be the least dis- 
 turbed." 
 
 Still I was silent, too nervous to speak, and it seemed 
 an eternity before the old man came back with a smiling 
 face, announcing that he had discovered the very thing, 
 and, preceding us, carrying the basket and wraps, he 
 led us to a giant tree close to a secluded copse, with not 
 a soul in sight ; and then, without a word, left us. 
 
 " He will take the car a little way on, and wait in it 
 until I call him," Hugh said. " And now, won't you 
 let me undo that thunder-cloud you are enveloped in, 
 that I may see if the sun is shining at all beneath it 
 for me? " 
 
 I let him unwind the veil, and I suppose my face, 
 when he did see it, showed some of the emotions which 
 were coursing through me, for he exclaimed in pain : 
 
 " Darling ! You have hated coming ! What is it ? 
 Oh, you make me so unhappy. Tell me, Guinevere." 
 
 He arranged the rug and a cushion, and I sat down, 
 and he threw himself beside me. 
 
 "I cannot say what it is," I faltered. " I ought 
 to be so happy, but I am so foolish. The having to 
 take all these precautions has fretted something I 
 cannot breathe " and I put out my gray-gloved 
 hands unconsciously, and he seized them in his and 
 kissed them passionately. 
 
 124.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " I must make you forget all that," he cried. " Do 
 not let us spoil the divine hours to be by these foolish 
 sensations. Darling, do you not believe that I will take 
 care of you ? If it ever; need be, I will protect you with 
 my life. There is not the slightest danger now ; we had 
 merely to be careful in London because I am so tire- 
 somely well known ; but here, under the green trees, we 
 are as free as in the park at home. Guinevere, won't 
 jou look at me less coldly and like a wounded doe? 
 Those great gray eyes of yours are full of shadows, and 
 your sweet lips are set." 
 
 I could not resist such pleading, of course, with him 
 so near me, and so tender, and so full of that nameless, 
 compelling attraction which cannot be described in 
 words. Every fear left me. I only felt a strange thrill 
 of some new exquisite emotion, and I leaned back 
 against the old tree and closed my eyes. 
 
 Hugh's hands were firmly clasped together and his 
 head lowered and turned from me when I opened them 
 again ; and his voice was rather hoarse as he said : 
 
 " I am going to show you to-day that I have some 
 control over myself. I will try not even to touch your 
 hand. It is so good to be with you that must be 
 enough." 
 
 Then he began to unpack the basket, and first got 
 out the kettle and spirit-lamp, and together we ar- 
 ranged things and made the tea. 
 
 " We have sandwiches and fruit, and a bottle of wine 
 for later on," he informed me gaily. " But our picnic 
 has to begin with tea ; it is past five o'clock." 
 
 It seemed so sweet to sit there together and " play 
 house," as Bob and I used in the woods long ago, when 
 we were children; and Hugh was so tender and gentle, 
 and made me feel at last perfectly safe and joyous. 
 
 125
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 And when we had finished we sat leaning our backs 
 against the tree, surveying the beautiful green world 
 with the shadows becoming longer, and far away in the 
 distance a herd of deer. 
 
 " I want you to tell me a number of things, Hugh," 
 I told him ; " what life means to you and what you 
 think I should try and make it mean to me. Because 
 since I have been here these two days with Letitia I 
 seem to realize that all my points of view are shut in 
 and out of proportion. I should like you to teach me 
 new aspects. Will you, friend? " 
 
 " When your voice is so soft, I lose my head and 
 become intoxicated," he answered fondly. " But I will 
 try," and he turned himself so that he could look 
 straight into my eyes. I daresay he is not so very 
 handsome, really, but for me he seems to have the most 
 beautiful face in the world. 
 
 " You must first of all look at everything with jus- 
 tice and common-sense, and never be influenced by cus- 
 tom and convention in your judgment of a circum- 
 stance, because then you are not being true to yourself 
 but are merely echoing some other person or persons' 
 view. Just now, for instance, when you were so nervous 
 and jarred, it was only because all the conventional 
 currents were weighing upon you, and not that you 
 were doing a thing you need be uncomfortable about. 
 You were accepting the seeming, not the reality." 
 
 '* Yes, I know it. I will try to be different in future. 
 Now tell me, what does life mean to you? " 
 
 : ' When I am with you, it feels like heaven as if 
 everything was complete " and his voice grew deep 
 again " as if I were at rest a sensation I have 
 never felt when with any other woman, though I have 
 thought I loved some of them well enough, for various 
 
 126
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 reasons, for short whiles. But in all my years up to 
 now I have been unconsciously looking for something 
 I had had, hundreds of times, the sensation that I was 
 waiting in expectancy for some great thing, and that 
 when it came it would be the keystone of my arch. The 
 consciousness of this has often made me restless with 
 longing, for it seemed that my nameless want would 
 never be satisfied." 
 
 He picked some blades of grass and plaited them 
 absently, looking down, and then he went on again 
 dreamily : 
 
 " I was hardly aware that the desire was for a mate 
 a mate for my soul, I mean and then I met you, 
 Guinevere, and I knew you were the thing I had dreamed 
 of for all these years. If I could have you with me 
 always, there is not a single pleasure or duty of my 
 life that I would not accomplish better you would 
 give meaning to all my aims. In spite of these kind 
 women, like your sister and her friends, who have al- 
 ways been so good to me, I have often been hideously 
 lonely, darling; and that is why I have spent months 
 by myself at Minton Dremont, and traveling in out- 
 landish countries one is less solitary alone at times 
 than with companions who do not feel all one's moods." 
 
 " And you think I should, Hugh? " His words made 
 me so happy. " I hope I should understand you al- 
 ways, even the sides of you I did not quite like in the 
 beginning." 
 
 He turned again and looked at me, and a ghost of a 
 cloud crossed his eyes. 
 
 " Yes a woman, if she is wise, should try to grasp 
 that everything which is strong has aspects which repel, 
 and then she can face them, or shut her eyes to them, 
 as she thinks best." 
 
 127
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I thought of Letitia's words once upon this subject, 
 and I was silent; and he came a little nearer, and his 
 voice had pleading in it and a caress : 
 
 " Guinevere, do not think of all those tilings ever 
 again. As long as you love me, they can never reenter 
 my life they were my straws which I caught at ; now 
 I am on firm land." 
 
 " Oh, my dear ! " I whispered to him. " It is only 
 because I was silly and, as I said, shut in that I ever 
 criticised you. For me love is such an immense and 
 divine thing, I could never have felt any of it for any 
 one only you but of course I know men must be 
 different, or the world could not go on." 
 
 He took and kissed my hands again, as though he 
 could not help himself. 
 
 " Once in India, I met an old Brahmin who explained 
 to me a theory that souls go on in a long series of re- 
 births, as half-incomplete creatures, never being satis- 
 fied, until at last they meet the other part of them- 
 selves, and become a whole soul in bliss ; and when this 
 occurs, they find perfect happiness and it is their last 
 life on this planet. And afterwards they float, a com- 
 pleted whole, into realms of divine peace." 
 
 " What a beautiful idea ! " I sighed. " Let us pray 
 that it is true." 
 
 " I know it is," he responded tenderly, " because we 
 are certaiiJy those two happy souls, and listen to 
 this vow, Guinevere I will never break with you ; 
 if we ever part, it will be you who will throw me 
 from you, not I who will leave you. For me there 
 can never be another woman as my soul's mate on 
 earth." 
 
 A shiver of cold ran through me, and I suddenly 
 touched his strong hands in fear. 
 
 128
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Hugh ! Oh, I hope to God I shall never have to do 
 that!" 
 
 " How pale you have grown, sweetheart," he ex- 
 claimed in distress. " And I may not kiss life back into 
 those white roses, your cheeks " and then he stopped, 
 suddenly, angry with himself for this outburst of his 
 emotions. 
 
 I knew he had meant as I mean always never 
 to let passion come near us to scorch the joy we may 
 have with its splendid breath. 
 
 " I am going to bring you some books to-morrow," 
 he went on quickly, in another tone. " I have not had 
 them specially bound, as I would have wished, for you, 
 so that they may attract no attention. There are some 
 whimsical things, and some things of sentiment, and 
 some philosophies ; and I have marked the places I want 
 you to notice most; and then sometimes, when I can 
 manage to come over to Redwood, we can discuss 
 them." 
 
 " I shall love that." 
 
 After this, he became gay and made me laugh; and 
 we told each other light-hearted things, and arranged 
 how we would play our little comedy before all his 
 friends without my having any jarring backward 
 thoughts. 
 
 " It makes it sporting and amusing, if you can look 
 at it like that," he said, " and draws us closer together 
 to know we have a secret shared by only Letitia, who 
 always has a twinkle in her eye." 
 
 " Letitia is a dear," I rejoined. *' She comes like a 
 breath of sane common-sense, and calms all altruism 
 and nonsense." 
 
 *' They are a perfectly matched couple. You don't 
 know Langthorpe as I do. He has realized as com-
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 pletely as she has that they must live each their own 
 lives, and they get on to perfection when they are to- 
 gether. There has never been the least scandal about 
 either of them : they are gentlepeople both." 
 
 " Yes, no one ought to make scandals," I agreed. 
 
 Just then, in the distance, some people passed, and 
 for an instant I was tempted to put on my veil; but 
 Hugh placed his hand firmly on my wrist, and his voice 
 was even a little stern. 
 
 " Guinevere," he said, " are you not going to trust 
 me, child? When there is the slightest necessity for 
 caution, I will tell you ; I implore you not to start thus 
 like a frightened deer." 
 
 And all I could say was : 
 
 " Forgive me, Hugh." It was such comfort to find 
 him so firm and strong. 
 
 " I am going to call William now," he said, " and we 
 will go on to another place and take a little walk if 
 that would please you, darling and have our little 
 dinner on our return. It is nearly half-past six." 
 
 Oh! how unspeakably happy we were after that! 
 Gay and sweet and friendly. Hugh never once let him- 
 self go to frighten me or make me remember I must 
 also hold myself; and at last we threw stones into a 
 pond like schoolboys and made them skip; and I was 
 so proud to show him that, with all my hopelessly fem- 
 inine ways which Humphrey so deplores, I am yet able 
 to throw a stone like a boy, the one thing Bob used to 
 be particular about, teaching me ever since I was six 
 years old. 
 
 Then we joined William again, and found a new 
 place for our dinner of foie gras sandwiches and lovely 
 strawberries and nectarines and grapes ; and we laughed 
 over our bottle of champagne, whose cork refused at 
 
 130
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 first to come out and altogether were merry as chil- 
 dren at a feast. Presently, when the sun set and the 
 moon rose, there was still a crimson glow in the west of 
 a cloudless greenish sky. 
 
 " It will take us half an hour to get back to Norfolk 
 Street, darling," Hugh said. " Alas ! we soon ought to 
 start." 
 
 " I shall not go to the Opera. I could not after 
 this or the ball either that Letitia is going on to ; 
 but you had better join her don't you think so? " 
 I remarked. 
 
 And he quite agreed. So at last we packed our 
 basket and let William put it in the motor, and then 
 sat for a few moments longer, looking out on the ex- 
 quisite scene. 
 
 That anything so peaceful, so rural, and so stately 
 could be so near that great, roaring city seemed impos- 
 sible. 
 
 Lights of evening opalescence were turning the vivid- 
 ness of day into dreamland, and all was peace and 
 silence. 
 
 " I have never been so happy in all my life, Guine- 
 vere," Hugh whispered, his voice strangely moved. 
 " Say you love me once more before we go." 
 
 And I said it, trembling and not daring to look at 
 him; and then we got into the car and spoke no more 
 until we reached Victoria again, when we whispered a 
 soft good night. And soon I arrived at my sister's 
 house in a cab, as though I had come from a train. 
 
 And until midnight I sat at my bedroom window 
 it is above Letitia's boudoir and looks over the park, 
 too and my mind was filled with j oy and peace such 
 as I have never known.
 
 CHAPTER XIII 
 
 early post this morning bromght me a letter 
 from Hugh the first note even I have ever 
 had that was not for any one to read but my- 
 self. He has the art of writing letters, and I 
 lay in bed and read it over and over, and thrilled with 
 delight. He told me again how happy he had been 
 with me in Richmond Park, and how he loved me. A 
 woman, I am sure, cannot hear this fact too often for 
 her pleasure! And, finally, he suggested that, as it 
 was certain to be a fine day, if it were possible for me 
 to come to the top of the Serpentine, where the foun- 
 tains are, he would meet me there at twelve, and we 
 could then strike into the heart of the beautiful Ken- 
 sington Gardens, where there would be no one but 
 nurses and children, and where we could certainly find 
 some isolated chairs, where we could sit and talk. We 
 were lunching with him and a party, later, at the newly 
 opened Ritz. 
 
 This plan seemed quite possible, and at twelve Le- 
 titia left me to take a cab at Marshall and Shelgrove's ; 
 and with renewed joy I saw Hugh walking slowly up 
 and down by the lily basins when I arrived at my des- 
 tination. 
 
 I had no idea of the great beauty of Kensington 
 Gardens. When we got on to the fine turf and wan- 
 dered among the old trees, it seemed an enchantment of 
 peace and verdure, with no one to worry us but the 
 friendly sheep. We found two chairs far away from 
 
 132
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 any others, and there sat in contentment. A new phase 
 had been reached between us; we turned glad eyes to 
 each other often, but we did not speak much at first. 
 I was delighted my gray muslin pleased Hugh, with the 
 white roses stuck in my belt. 
 
 " I love your points, Guinevere," he said. " You 
 are as fine as a thoroughbred horse so slender and 
 graceful, with your little wrists and ankles, and that 
 long, rounded throat ; there is something fresh and vir- 
 ginal about you. No one would ever take you for a 
 married woman you are nothing but a slip of a girl. 
 My baby girl ! " 
 
 " But I am thirty-one now, Hugh," I told him, let- 
 ting the possessive case he had used pass, with a thrill. 
 " It is ridiculous of you ! My birthday was on the 
 fourth of June." 
 
 But he only smiled fondly, while he went on detailing 
 the things I possess which charm him. I never knew 
 before I had attractions like this, and I felt I was al- 
 most purring with satisfaction, as Petrov does when I 
 recount to him the glories of his velvet fur. 
 
 " Your little neat h^ad, like a maiden Diana," Hugh 
 whispered, " and those wise gray eyes ! I love to watch 
 all the moods that mirror in them; that look of rebel- 
 lion and smouldering, suppressed pain is leaving them 
 now, darling, I am glad to say." 
 
 " I am so happy, Hugh ! " 
 
 " And so am I ! " 
 
 Then we laughed at nothing at all. Heavens! how 
 altogether childish people become when they are ia 
 love! Perhaps it is because they are taken up so near 
 to heaven, and there things are simple and sweet. 
 
 " It will be such fun at lunch. I have had the ex- 
 traordinary self-sacrifice to put that known coureur d&s 
 
 133
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 dames, Freddy Burgoyne, beside you, because I have 
 noticed that he has already shown signs of weariness 
 when with the lady to whom at the moment he is play- 
 ing the role of cavalier servante; and so the whole set 
 will vibrate with interest to see if he turns to you, and 
 all possible scent regarding you and me will be warded 
 off. A French fellow once wrote some very sensible 
 advice upon this matter, which, however, I believe he 
 added, human beings were very seldom able to take. I 
 think the sentence ran: *A pair of lovers may enjoy 
 one another in peace if both are able to play the comedy 
 of interests elsewhere.' " 
 
 " And he thought that would be difficult ? " I asked, 
 putting back my mauve parasol. 
 
 " Of course," said Hugh. " The innate jealousy in 
 man would make it almost impossible for him to bear 
 seeing his lady apparently interested in another ; and a 
 woman also would not like it." 
 
 " N-o, I suppose not," I admitted. 
 
 " That is why I said I had been extraordinarily self- 
 sacrificing in intending to put Freddy at your side at 
 luncheon. We ought to try if we can follow the French- 
 man's advice." 
 
 " Then you, too, will have to stimulate interest in 
 some one? " I inquired, and I was conscious of an un- 
 pleasant twinge. The Frenchman evidently knew hu- 
 man nature ! 
 
 " Yes, I am going to look at an American lady ! " 
 
 '* The one Letitia let them think you saw at Mit- 
 ley? " I blurted out, before I thought what I was say- 
 ing; and he turned and glanced at me questioningly 
 and almost hardly. 
 
 " They have been discussing me again, have they? " 
 he demanded, and he frowned.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 *' You are a tremendous interest to ever j one, you 
 know." 
 
 " They are scorpions, most of them." And then he 
 laughed. " But, after all, they are awfully good to me, 
 and it is only since I have known you, Guinevere, that I 
 ever felt disgusted with them." 
 
 " I do not wish that you should do that. I would 
 hate to think I had ever come between you and your 
 friends." 
 
 His face had grown as cynical as when I first knew 
 Aim : it hurt me. He tilted his chair back and laughed 
 shortly ; then he looked at me and, I suppose, saw that 
 I was troubled, for he put out his hand and touched 
 mine gently, while his dark-blue eyes melted in tender- 
 ness. 
 
 " Let us forget all about them, darling, and all thesd 
 hateful things of the world. When you and I are to- 
 gether, let us keep to ourselves, and our own interests. 
 Yours are enough for me, and I want to make mine 
 enough for you." 
 
 " Indeed they are, Hugh. And I dislike small things. 
 I want to hear all about when you were a boy, and what 
 you did at Oxford, and why you have never gone 
 into Parliament and oh ! everything that concerns 
 you." 
 
 Joy filled his glance again, and he told me numbers 
 of dear old reminiscences, and then he said: 
 
 " I never went into Parliament because it seems to 
 me no longer the place for a gentleman. I have not the 
 temperament which could ever let me trim my coat or 
 alter my opinions at a chief's bidding, and I have not 
 brains enough, I dare say, to be independent and a 
 leader myself. All we landowners can do now is to 
 play the game in the country and try to keep up the 
 
 135
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 prestige of our order, and do our duty by the people 
 and those dependent upon us." 
 
 " Well, it is a fine aim. I am glad you are not mixed 
 up in hateful politics," I responded. "It must be good 
 enough to stand on your marble terrace and look out 
 at the beautiful park at Minton Dremont, and know it 
 is all yours, and has been your family's for so many 
 hundreds of years." 
 
 His eyes clouded again for a second and grew a little 
 sad. 
 
 " Yes, but they are such rotters who will come after 
 me my cousin's boys, you know. The thought of 
 them hits me in the face sometimes, and used almost to 
 drive me into marrying." 
 
 A strange feeling came over me : I could not analyze 
 it, it had in it pain and joy and unrest. 
 
 But the quiet sheep browsed near us, and the 
 warm air of the June morning seemed to tell me to 
 banish all disturbing thoughts and live only in the 
 present. 
 
 " I hope Algernon will acquire some of this feeling, 
 Hugh," I said. " At present, Redwood means nothing 
 to him except a hunting centre; he has no possessive 
 pride in it as his home ; and he dislikes the house, I be- 
 lieve." 
 
 " It is a most wonderful old place, but it is gloomy," 
 Hugh admitted ; " and then he was not accustomed to 
 it from his birth that makes all the difference. The 
 General loves it, doesn't he ? " 
 
 " Yes, in a way ; but lately he has grumbled at every- 
 thing there. I believe myself it is saturated and haunted 
 with the horrors of the past, and no one who lived there 
 would ever find content. But I will not say this again, 
 Hugh. Don't let us talk of Redwood. I want to forget 
 
 136
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 everything for the time but that we are here and 
 free." 
 
 " You must go back on Saturday? " he asked anx- 
 iously. 
 
 " Yes, indeed. It was the greatest piece of good 
 fortune obtaining this much leave. It is the first time 
 since I have been married that I have been allowed to 
 visit Letitia in London." 
 
 " Then I must see you all the time, darling ; every 
 moment is precious. After lunch to-day I propose we 
 go down to Hurlingham there is a polo match or 
 something, and we could contrive to get away by the 
 river. It is such a second-class crowd there, we might 
 not be observed ; and in any case I will divert the ideas 
 of our intimates at lunch, so that if they did chance 
 upon us they will not think anything but that I am 
 being polite to Letitia's sister." And this made him 
 laugh. " Polite to Letitia's sister ! When I should 
 like to shout from the house-tops, ' I adore this darling 
 lady, I worship her as a queen, I would be proud to 
 possess her for my own before the whole world ! ' Oh, 
 the irony of it all ! " 
 
 " Hugh ! " I gasped he had moved me so. 
 
 Then he went on more gently, making the most ex- 
 quisite love to me, until I neither knew nor cared for 
 time or place or fate. All the earth and trees and 
 sky, even the very sheep, seemed to be fused in the 
 glamour of the summer morning, and the voice of my 
 beloved. 
 
 And at last a sense of intoxication stole over us both, 
 and it seemed as if we must fall into each other's arms. 
 I have never allowed myself to imagine what it would be 
 like if Hugh should really kiss me, but the vivid thought 
 would come to me there in the green shade, and so I 
 
 137
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 jumped up hurriedly and asked him that we should 
 walk. I must banish such feelings, I knew. He knew 
 it, too, and made no objection, and, moving along, we 
 grew more masters of ourselves. 
 
 Then, finally, he put me into a cab at a Bayswater 
 exit, to return to Norfolk Street, and then went back 
 into the Gardens himself to walk rapidly to the drive 
 going to Prince's Gate, where he said his motor would 
 be waiting. And when we met in the hall of the Ritz 
 for luncheon he greeted me coolly, as though we had 
 not seen each other since the day before at Lady La- 
 trobe's. 
 
 " It was perfectly splendid your not coming to the 
 Opera last night, Guinevere," Letitia told me as we 
 drove along. " Hugh's arriving alone like that, and 
 then talking to first Beatrice Trehearn and then Win- 
 nie, on the opposite side of the house, has let them all 
 sleep in peace ! " 
 
 Letitia's late attraction and the Duchess's, too, I 
 understood ! Mr. Burgoyne, was a most agreeable 
 person and appeared glad to devote himself to me, the 
 lady he is at present amusing not being of the party; 
 and I felt pleased that I seemed to be more successfully 
 playing my part than Hugh was his, for I could see he 
 was bored with his lovely American, whose name I did 
 not hear, although she was most beautiful and bril- 
 liant. But his dear eyes wandered now and then in my 
 direction, and once he caught my eye and raised his 
 brow with a whimsical question in it, as much as to say, 
 " Aren't you overdoing it, Guinevere? " 
 
 And now I am resting before dressing for the ball; 
 and our afternoon at Hurlingham, where we were only 
 able to get off alone for a very short time, has given 
 me something to think about. 
 
 138
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Hugh was restless, not as he was in the morning or at 
 our divine picnic dinner last night. The pupils of his 
 dear blue eyes were dilated, and he seemed not to be 
 able to keep to any subject for long. He reproached 
 me, too, about Freddy Burgoyne, and I am not sure it 
 was all in play. 
 
 But he is coming to dine here before the ball to-night, 
 and perhaps during the evening we may have some 
 chance of speech. I feel rather reckless. It is all a 
 wild fret. 
 
 How things go on ! A fiery spirit like love cannot be 
 kept at one level, it seems. I ought to have known this, 
 of course. Well, I know it now, but I am going to 
 continue to throw dust in my own eyes. I will not look 
 ahead. I am living at last, breathing every moment of 
 the vital days, and a quivering excitemeat possesses me. 
 
 Hugh and I were not near each other at dinner, and 
 when he came up to me rather too eagerly afterward 
 in the ballroom, which had been built out over the space 
 to the railings in Park Lane, Letitia joined us imme- 
 diately. 
 
 " Hugh," I heard her whisper to him, " for Heaven's 
 sake, do not be a fool! It has all gone so splendidly 
 up to this don't spoil it, or I won't help you any 
 more." And she laughed and took him off with her. 
 But she made it up to us at the end of the evening by 
 going in to a second supper with him herself, and then 
 coming over to me, who happened to be sitting with 
 her admirer, Lord Albert Mansfield, and we four supped 
 for a long time, having rather changed partners. Then 
 she whispered, when we got out into the hall : 
 
 " Come up into my sitting-room, Guinevere ; most of 
 10 139
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 those who matter have gone, and we won't be missed 
 for a few minutes. I am dead tired, and I want a 
 cigarette." 
 
 And when we were there she went on into her bed- 
 room, and as she shut that door Hugh opened the one 
 we had entered by and came toward me, his eyes blaz- 
 ing and his hands outstretched. 
 
 " Darling ! " he gasped passionately but I shrank 
 away in fear. The obviousness of the way we had been 
 left alone again oppressed me. It jarred upon me to a 
 point that I was cold. 
 
 Pain came into his face, and he dropped his hands. 
 Then my heart melted immediately, and a wild excite- 
 ment leapt up. 
 
 " Forgive me," he pleaded, " but the strain of the 
 day has driven me mad. Guinevere, don't you love me 
 any more, that you shrink away like this ? " 
 
 I leaned against the mantelpiece and I clasped my 
 hands tight. 
 
 " Yes," I gasped, " I love you too much. Hugh, I 
 asked you to take care of me in the beginning, when 
 you made me tell you first. We are rushing along a 
 torrent now. Oh ! let us try to help each other to keep 
 from the weir as long as we can ! " I was trembling so 
 I could not go on. 
 
 He came close and stood beside me, and he was very 
 pale. 
 
 " It is all absolutely impossible," he said hoarsely. 
 " I am a man, and you are a woman we are not 
 saints in story-books or blocks of wood. I must I 
 will hold you in my arms." 
 
 But I moved away quickly, and, half crazy with my 
 passionate emotions, I sat down at the piano. My 
 hands were bare, I had not put on my gloves again 
 
 140
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 after supper; and I began that tune which had moved 
 him so much in the drawing-room at home. 
 
 I played it as I have never done before ; it seemed as 
 if my very soul were wailing in farewell. 
 
 He came over and leaned on the piano, and as I 
 watched him all the hot passion died out of his eyes, 
 and in its place there grew two great glittering tears, 
 which filled them and, brimming over, splashed down 
 upon my fingers. 
 
 Then, without a word, he turned and left the room, 
 closing the door softly after him. 
 
 And when Letitia came back in a few minutes she 
 found me sitting alone, as cold as death. 
 
 " Guinevere," she said, alarmed ; and she shook me. 
 " Pull yourself together, dear, and use your common 
 sense. These tragic looks are bourgeois and theatrical." 
 
 And, as usual, her influence over me was calming and 
 reassuring. I felt I had been a fool, and that I ought 
 to have been different; and that there was no reason 
 for so much pain. 
 
 She left me in a few seconds and went down to find 
 Hugh ; but when I had calmed myself enough to go back 
 to the ballroom she met me with the news that he had 
 left the house and I had no one but myself to blame. 
 
 Oh! trees in the misty park, all cold and gray at 
 dawn, what is your message? Is there an ache greater 
 than unfulfilment? 
 
 A note came for Letitia from Hugh while we break- 
 fasted very late in her sitting-room this morning, its 
 daylight air so gay and so different from the night 
 before. She read the note over twice very attentively ; 
 she had chatted with me during the meal about every 
 
 141
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Irrelevant thing and never mentioned either Hugh or 
 {the scene she had guessed had taken place. Finally, 
 she looked up at me critically, and said in her level 
 voice : 
 
 " Guinevere, you made Hugh very unhappy last 
 night with your tiresome seriousness. He is still aw- 
 fully upset and cannot make up his mind what to do. 
 Do you want him to go away and not see you again 
 for ages? Or are you going to be sensible and behave 
 like a human being, without this dramatic nonsense, 
 and let him lunch with us here quietly, and then all 
 dine at Ada's to-night, and dance at her ball? You 
 quite discourage me in helping you to enjoy life." 
 
 " Of course I wish to see him again," I faltered. The 
 situation seemed so different in the morning light. " I 
 expect I am very foolish. What time shall we lunch? " 
 
 " Not until two. I shall tell Hugh to come round at 
 half -past one; then you can settle your differences. 
 Langthorpe is the only other man; so we shall be 
 four." 
 
 My brother-in-law returned yesterday in time for 
 Letitia's ball. 
 
 She got up and went to the telephone, which is fixed 
 in this room. 
 
 She rang up a number,' and after some little delay 
 evidently spoke to Hugh himself. 
 
 " Come to lunch, Hugh, at half-past one that is 
 my answer." Then, " Guinevere has eaten an excellent 
 breakfast. Being in the country so long has made her 
 rather bourgeoise I have scolded her well. No, of 
 course not ! " and she glanced at me with a roguish 
 smile " I am not the least unkind to her. Hugh ! don't 
 be so indiscreet. Yes, you may send her some roses 
 white ones ? They had better be addressed to me. Her 
 
 142
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 maid is a country frump, too. These modest, retiring, 
 innocent people are terribly difficult to deal with ! You 
 like them like that ? Oh ! well, you are welcome to them, 
 then ! Good-bye, dear boy ! " And, showing all her 
 strong white teeth in a frank, kindly smile, Letitia put 
 down the receiver. 
 
 I felt at ease and at peace again, all the storm of the 
 dawn calmed. How sensible my sister is ! How I wish 
 I had a temperament like hers ! 
 
 When Hugh came I was sitting in the library down- 
 stairs on the ground floor. It is a cool, heliotrope- 
 tinted place, with big comfortable chairs, and it was 
 filled with pink roses. The splendid white bunch which 
 had arrived for me stood alone on a table by me. 
 
 I got up nervously, but as the servants held the door 
 Hugh came forward gaily, with a chaffing greeting, and 
 we sat down on the sofa together. 
 
 " Hugh, I am sorry," I said shyly. " Letitia says 
 I am a fool and I daresay I am." 
 
 " No, you are not a fool," he returned eagerly and 
 fondly. "You are just the purest, truest darling; and 
 I was a brute. But I was quite mad last night the 
 whole thing was so tantalizing. You looked so sweet, 
 and I love you so passionately. You will make allow- 
 ances for me, won't you, Guinevere? " 
 
 " Of course I will," I returned, while I seemed to 
 take in his wonderful charm afresh. He is so distin- 
 guished-looking, and so long and thin and strong. 
 
 " And now, to-day, I am going to try and amuse 
 you. But first you must play to me some beautiful 
 things which will banish the memory of that farewell." 
 
 I went to a small piano there is up in a corner, and 
 for a quarter of an hour I let my fingers wander over 
 the notes in all sorts of gentle, soothing things, and, 
 
 143
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 as before at Redwood, Hugh sat quite still. Then I got 
 up and joined him on the sofa again. 
 
 " There ! " I said. " Now all clouds are over, and w. 
 are going to be lovely friends." And I held out my hand. 
 
 He took it and did not let it go again, and at once 
 my heart, which I thought was quiet and orderly, began 
 to beat wildly, and I had a mad desire to slip forward 
 into his arms. 
 
 It was he who got up this time and moved away, 
 and he spoke at once, rather fast, of the flowers if I 
 liked the white roses, and had I got them without any 
 difficulty? I knew they were for me, he supposed. He 
 continued in this strain until at about five minutes to 
 two Langthorpe joined us. He is a bluff, good-natured 
 creature, whom everybody likes. He and Hugh are 
 intimate friends. They made everything easy, and, 
 not waiting for Letitia, who is often late, we went in 
 to luncheon. 
 
 When she did come she brought Lord Albert with 
 her, and we discussed the ball with the greatest merri- 
 ment. Ada Marj oribanks' to-night could not possibly 
 be so good, they all agreed. 
 
 Afterwards, Langthorpe drove us all down on his 
 coach to a garden-party a little way out of town at a 
 famous ducal house. I sat beside him on the box-seat 
 and then, when we arrived, in a walk of clipped yews 
 that reminded us a little of Minton Dremont, Hugh 
 paced beside me for a while. 
 
 " To-night will be the same sort of torment as last 
 night was, and this afternoon is," he said. " But to- 
 morrow we can be happy on the river alone. The 
 Northeys are charming people. The girl and her 
 fiance only want to be together, and Letitia will ac- 
 count for young Gerald Northey, so you and I can
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 have an afternoon of unalloyed peace, Guinevere, and 
 the evening after dinner, too I have arranged that tee 
 dine at the house of a friend of mine there who is away. 
 He has a nice little place, with a lawn going down to 
 the river, and two or three good punts." 
 
 '* It sounds enchanting," I cried. 
 
 To-day we both seemed playing a part; the fond 
 intimacy and friendliness appeared to have fled. Hugh 
 talked as though he were trying to amuse me and leave 
 a good impression, and I, too, was hardly natural once ; 
 and all the time the excitement kept growing and grow- 
 ing in my veins, until, when we climbed on to the coach 
 again to go back, Langthorpe said merrily: 
 
 "By Jove, Guinevere, you are getting better-looking 
 every day ! I never saw such bright eyes, my dear." 
 
 When we got in there was a letter from Humphrey. 
 Algernon and he had been constructing a mild steeple- 
 chase course in the park ; this sounded as if things were 
 mended between them again. Fortunately, my son 
 shows no signs of deep or lasting feelings, and when 
 his outbursts of passion are over he goes on whatever 
 way pleases him, without a backward thought. I had 
 left him on the Monday in the highest spirits again, with 
 the promise of a thoroughbred hunter for the Christmas 
 holidays, which Humphrey had intended buying for 
 himself but which he thought not up to his weight. 
 
 My husband's letter was curt as usual, and ended 
 with this characteristic sentence: 
 
 " The brougham and the luggage-cart will meet the 
 4 : 22 train on Saturday. Mind you do not miss it, 
 as no other will be met." 
 
 So I have only to-morrow to enjoy life in before I 
 cross the drawbridge of Redwood Moat.
 
 CHAPTER XIV 
 
 nOW difficult it is to write sometimes ! But yet 
 I want to put down to comfort myself 
 all my joys and pains. 
 
 Ada Marjoribanks' ball was a great suc- 
 cess, every one said. Before we started, I schooled 
 myself to remember the Frenchman's maxim, and the 
 moment I got speech with Hugh I whispered it to him, 
 to remind him again. 
 
 " Let us trust each other, Hugh," I said, " as we 
 are going to be happy to-morrow; and do not let us 
 be together at all to-night." 
 
 And he agreed, but not very heartily, and although 
 I knew we were both playing a game, I felt disturbed 
 and distraite the whole time, and I believe he did also, 
 for he came down to the door with us when we said 
 good night, and managed to whisper: 
 
 " It is perfect hell, this sort of thing, Guinevere. It 
 might be possible if I were married to you and knew I 
 should have you in peace with me in an hour's time; 
 but to go off alone, hungry, like a starving wretch 
 jealous and unsatisfied it is more than I can bear. 
 If you were going to stay on I would not come out 
 again." 
 
 " I hate it, too but there is to-morrow," I said 
 shyly, and got into the electric brougham after Letitia 
 very quickly, and we called a good night. But it was 
 broad daylight, and the comfort was to know that in a 
 few hours we should meet again. 
 
 146
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 The weather this whole week has been too glorious: 
 hot and perfectly delicious, and when we were all ready 
 to start for Maidenhead at two o'clock at Norfolk 
 Street, it seemed as if the hottest day of the year had 
 come. 
 
 Hugh had been very merry at luncheon, and the 
 Northey party seemed exactly the people for us. 
 
 *' They do not know one of our friends," Letitia 
 told me, " and can't, even if they wished to do so, 
 spread interesting news." 
 
 It had been arranged that the fiances sat in the back 
 seat of Hugh's car and I beside him, while Letitia took 
 Mr. Northey alone in hers. 
 
 We did not talk very much on the way down just 
 stupid little glad things with underneath meanings for 
 ourselves ; and we had the luck not to have a puncture, 
 and got there on time. Letitia was not so fortunate, 
 and did not arrive until an hour after us ; but by then 
 we were out in our punts, and did not see her until we 
 returned for dinner. 
 
 " I had some fresh cushions sent down for you, my 
 sweet lady," Hugh said, as he arranged me, " because I 
 know you do not like red, and all old Jack's boats are 
 done with red. These soft blue ones suit you much 
 better, and I can look down and drink in the whole pic- 
 ture you make." 
 
 I have never been in a punt before. It seems a very 
 lazy, reclining sort of thing, and gives a peculiar 
 drowsy, delicious feeling as one goes along with the 
 soft swish through the water. I felt so happy, every 
 disturbing thought had left me; I was at peace and 
 meant to enjoy my last day. 
 
 Hugh took us along so skilfully, and seemed to know 
 exactly where we should eventually find a delightful 
 
 147
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and secluded backwater, where he shot in under gome 
 willows in a bower of green. Then he fastened our skiff 
 securely and came over the middle seat to me, and asked 
 if he might come and sit at my side. 
 
 " I am going to read to you, Guinevere," he said. 
 
 I gave him leave, of course. Some spell was over me 
 those feelings of alarm and unrest had fled. 
 
 And he soon was settled among the blue cushions. 
 
 We were no nearer, I suppose, than we had been 
 when we sat with our backs to the tree in Richmond 
 Park or even on the sofa in the library at Norfolk 
 Street but it seemed as if we were, with the sides of 
 the punt, and the water beyond ; and over me there now 
 stole a wild excitement again, so that I felt a pulse in 
 my ears. 
 
 Hugh drew out a book from under the cushion at 
 his side. It was Rossetti's Sonnets, which we both 
 knew by heart. He turned over the pages quickly, but 
 did not begin to read at once. 
 
 " Is not this absolutely divine ! " he whispered bliss- 
 fully. 
 
 " Absolutely," I said. 
 
 " Are you happy, darling? " then he demanded the 
 eternal question, the answer to which gives those who 
 love so much joy. And when I murmured that I was, 
 he gave a great sigh of content, and found a sonnet 
 and began to read. I was so trembling with new sen- 
 sations that now I cannot remember which one it was ; 
 the actual words conveyed no meaning to me, only the 
 sense of love. He stopped when he had finished the 
 last line, and we were absolutely silent ; only, I thought 
 he must hear the beating of my heart. 
 
 " Darling ! " he whispered, and, turning, sat more 
 uprightly, looking at me. "Guinevere, darling J 
 
 148
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 cannot bear It! I love you so ! " And he slipped his arm 
 round me and drew me close as he kissed my lips. 
 
 Oh! what immense joy and emotion! Nothing I can 
 ever have in the rest of my life can cause the supreme, 
 indescribable thrill of that first kiss! The starving, 
 the denying of ourselves that we have been through all 
 these days ! The whole force of nature at boiling-point 
 for expression ! And now, at last, in that delicious cool 
 green shade, with the drowse of happy insects and the 
 sweet noises of June summer around us to be satis- 
 fied! Ah! . . . There was nothing brutal or wildly 
 passionate in Hugh's kiss, but it made me almost faint 
 with delight. 
 
 I did not resist him. I could not, of course; it 
 seemed perfectly natural and of the day, that he should 
 encircle me with his arm and that we should recline 
 thus in the punt, with my head on his shoulder. I had 
 taken off my hat when he first tied us to the bank. 
 
 " You are not angry with me, darling, are you ? " he 
 pleaded, as he kissed me again the gentlest caress. 
 " You would not be human if you did not understand. 
 We were such fools to imagine we could live on words 
 and looks and sympathy. I knew always it must come 
 to this. But we have fought as well as we could, and 
 now we will rest a while together in this sweet way." 
 
 He put my parasol so that no one coming by chance 
 from beyond could possibly see us, and there we spent 
 an afternoon of such happiness that I know now what 
 heaven means. 
 
 All that I have ever seen of a man's love before was 
 a brutal, horrible thing of terror and disgust. But to 
 rest here in the punt, and be caressed and whispered to, 
 my eyes and lips and hair kissed gently by my darling 
 one, thrilled every fibre of my being. 
 
 149
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " To-day you are my little sweetheart," Hugh said. 
 *' I am not going to frighten my tender love in the 
 least she shall know what peace means, here in my 
 arms. This is enough for us is it not, darling 
 child? " 
 
 And all I could murmur was a yes of content. 
 
 Now, looking back, with the grim stone walls of my 
 turret chamber closed in around me, I can try to an- 
 alyze how it was no sense came to me of the fear and 
 resistance to something I longed for and dared not 
 grasp, which had assailed me each time we had been 
 before on the brink of an embrace. All I can know 
 clearly is that nature is stronger than any other thing, 
 when propinquity sets the currents in motion. I be- 
 lieve, if Humphrey, with a drawn sword ready to kill 
 me, had been standing not far off, at that moment when 
 Hugh first held me close to his heart, I could not have 
 resisted his fond kiss, or lessened for an instant the 
 joy it caused me. Why do we spend our lives fighting 
 against nature, I wonder? I have never felt this sen- 
 sation in the faintest degree for any other man, and I 
 suppose I never shall in my life. Humphrey says al- 
 ways no other woman in the world could be so utterly 
 cold and sexless, and that I am not capable of feeling 
 or arousing the least passion; and a man who might 
 glance at me as he had done, attracted by my looks, 
 would be frozen into instantaneous indifference by my 
 icy unresponsiveness, just as he had been. 
 
 Perhaps, as Letitia once said, there are rare human 
 beings, like eagles, who only desire one mate. Well, if 
 Hugh and I never meet in the future and are never 
 really lovers in this world, I shall always continue to 
 adore him, and him alone. 
 
 We talked in little sentences of love and its meaning, 
 150
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and the unspeakable solace it was not to have to expend 
 all our forces in resisting something, as dangerous 
 subjects which we feared would illumine emotion in us. 
 Instead of which, we spent the hours, until it was time 
 to return for dinner, in a complete fusion of sympathy 
 and relaxation, Hugh whispering to me whatever love- 
 message came into his head, and I murmuring fond an- 
 swers in return. 
 
 He played with my hands, measuring them against 
 his strong, fine fingers, and holding them up to see 
 their transparency; and then his dear voice grew anx- 
 ious. 
 
 " You look so awfully delicate, Guinevere," he said. 
 " These little hands are mere white flowers. I want 
 to take care of you all the time. You require constant 
 loving tenderness and devotion. If I had you always 
 with me at Minton Dremont, I would pet and protect 
 you so that you would grow quite strong and rosy." 
 
 " I am really not delicate, Hugh," I said. " I mean, 
 I have a splendid constitution, only I live so much 
 into myself and feel everything so awfully deeply, with 
 no outlet, that I suppose I use up all my vitality. It 
 will be different now " and then I felt shy, and buried 
 my face in his white flannel coat. 
 
 " Yes, everything will be different now," he said, 
 moved to kiss me again. 
 
 " We must try not to be greedy, Hugh," I told him. 
 " It will be terribly difficult not to meet often, but we 
 must try always to keep happy at this level." 
 
 " Ye-es," he answered. " Of course " 
 
 " You do not think we shall be able to? " I asked, 
 disturbed a little. But he only smoothed my hair, 
 while he answered tenderly: 
 
 " We won't make any plans, my darling child. I 
 151
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 told you in the very beginning, when the imperative 
 necessity comes for more fulfilment, we must leave it 
 to fate." 
 
 I cannot, of course, confide in any one, even Letitia, 
 as to my emotions, but I do wonder if other women, 
 when they love a man absolutely, as I love Hugh, feel 
 as I do. There are things he says, tones in his voice, 
 which suddenly make me thrill in senses and brain and 
 soul to such an extent that I feel almost intoxicated. 
 " My virginal Maiden of the Snows," he once called 
 Die but I am sure I am not that, if he only knew. 
 
 " Hugh, does it please you," I whispered to him, as 
 he stroked my eyelids and brow with a willow leaf he 
 had picked " does it please you that no one else has 
 ever made me feel at all in any way? Tell me, 
 Hugh." 
 
 " Does it please me ! " And the most ecstatic satis- 
 faction came into his eyes. " Would the rarest dia- 
 mond please one who loved jewels and had only pos- 
 sessed imitations all his life hitherto ? " 
 
 " You will not grow tired of me because I am like 
 that only able to love you and no other? " I asked 
 again. 
 
 " Oh, my dear," he said gravely, " the cynics say 
 and I was one of them until I met you that nothing 
 one possesses continues to please one, and that all 
 things and emotions are transient and have their day. 
 But now I know that when love is as yours and mine, 
 springing instantly into being, with every taste and 
 idea and sympathy in unison, that it is of God, and 
 makes a whole which not even death can part. Guine- 
 vere, if I ever thought your love for me could be capable 
 of fluctuations if you could ever stoop to subterfuge 
 or to tease me with another, then the fabric of that per- 
 
 152
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 feet rererenoe I have for you would fade and pass 
 away." 
 
 " You need not fear, Hugh," I answered him. " I 
 cannot pretend. I am your own, with no secrets for 
 the rest of eternity." 
 
 " Heart of me ! " was all he said, and his eyes looked 
 into mine with reverent joy. 
 
 I dare say we appeared very happy when we joined 
 the others for dinner, because Letitia had the expres- 
 sion of a pleased mother-cat when she glanced at us, 
 and was as gay and amusing as it is possible to be. 
 And after it, when the moon rose, we got into the 
 punts again and swirled away to the willow bower once 
 more. 
 
 It was all mystery now, with glancing lights and 
 shadows and fairies floating on the beams of the Lady 
 of Night; and a new intoxication was in our veins and 
 we hardly talked, and now and then I shivered, al- 
 though the air was intensely hot and still. 
 
 There was the sensation that Hugh was restraining 
 himself in his gentle caresses and love murmurings; 
 there was a quivering mighty force suggested, although, 
 if anything, he was gentler and less passionate than in 
 the afternoon. 
 
 At last I just stayed quiet, too overcome to struggle 
 with my new emotions or wonder more, while he poured 
 upon me all the tender adorations that words could 
 express rushing from his heart. Every sentence is 
 treasured, but it is all too sacred to write about. It 
 was one of the evenings when mortals taste heaven and 
 are the equals of the gods. 
 
 At last, when we heard eleven o'clock chime from 
 some church tower, I started forward. It seemed as if 
 the deep strokes were a reminder of reality, a cruel 
 
 153
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 sentinel bidding us remember that joy was only a 
 dream, and earth was there waiting for us. 
 
 " Oh, my sweet ! " cried Hugh, " do not go yet. Oh ! 
 God, I cannot bear it ! Guinevere I tell you soon 
 the imperative necessity must come, and when it does, 
 promise me, if fate gives you to me, you will not shut 
 the door." 
 
 " Hugh," I whispered but my lips were dry " I 
 love you, and things must always be as you wish." 
 
 Then he clasped me to his heart once more, in a fond 
 farewell embrace, and we silently went back through the 
 moonlight water to the boathouse, and there joined the 
 other four on the veranda. 
 
 Hugh's face was pale and stern, and his eyes looked 
 black as night. And what we all said chaffing at 
 supper I have not the least idea. Only my memory 
 clings to the drive back to London alone with him 
 in his car this time the hedges bathed in the moon- 
 beams and the silent country flying past us through the 
 summer night. 
 
 " My darling sweetheart! " he whispered just before 
 we arrived at Norfolk Street. " You have made me 
 so divinely happy, I have no worship great enough to 
 give you. Remember always that my love goes with 
 you to Redwood and surrounds you all the time, and 
 so let the frets of things pass, and look out at the east 
 window. It will be some time before you see my flag 
 flying, but when you do, you will know that somehow I 
 will come to you, and we shall be happy once more." 
 
 Then we wrung hands and parted on the doorstep, 
 and I stumbled up to my room overlooking the park, 
 too overcome with j oy and glory even to be able to bear 
 Letitia's friendly good night. 
 
 And this morning early, before I started for Red- 
 154?
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 wood, among the parcel of books Hugh sent me there 
 was a single volume, beautifully bound, of Rossetti's 
 Sonnets, and against one of them lay a folded paper; 
 and when I opened it, all I saw written were these 
 words : " Remember, that day will come." 
 
 But which sonnet they touched must always remain 
 buried in my heart. 
 
 11
 
 CHAPTER XV 
 
 was standing before the chimney- 
 piece, awaiting me, in the library downstairs 
 when I returned home a week ago, and a thun- 
 der-cloud hung on his brow. 
 
 Nothing had gone right during my absence, it would 
 seem. The new first footman, who had just come to 
 take the place of one of the two dismissed during 
 the fit of gout, had broken a valuable china god, who 
 had been accustomed to lire on the smoking-room book- 
 case, and he, too, was now under notice to leave. 
 
 " A woman has no business to be gadding up to Lon- 
 don," my husband announced, " and letting her own 
 home go hang. Her duty is there first. You had no 
 right to be visiting." 
 
 It would have been of no use my saying all had been 
 quiet and orderly when I left, or that he himself had 
 allowed me to accept my sister's invitation. It was 
 better for me to permit the blame of the breakage 
 of the china god to rest quietly upon my shoulders 
 than to have any row. Humphrey, who is the witti- 
 est raconteur of stories possible, has absolutely no 
 sense of humor about anything which concerns him- 
 self. 
 
 By a sense of humor I mean that instantaneous 
 appreciation of a situation, that power of detachment 
 from being one of the actors in it, even if physically 
 one is, so that one can view its aspects and see the 
 comic side, though it should be to one's own detriment. 
 
 156
 
 Humphrey and Algernon are only able to grasp obvious 
 jokes, and laugh at funny stories, which is quite a dif- 
 ferent thing. 
 
 Hugh once said, in one of our talks, that a sense of 
 humor was a product of the highest civilization, and 
 could not flourish in any country until it went hand in 
 hand with scepticism. The Greeks had it, Lucian and 
 the later writers especially, and some of the Romans; 
 then it lapsed into darkness, and did not really emerge 
 brightly until the eighteenth century. This seems true. 
 Sentiment, on the other hand, could be in perfect unison 
 with beliefs. There can be nothing more full of senti- 
 ment than the " Morte d'Arthur," compiled at a time 
 when only among the most highly-educated had doubts 
 begun to spring, and it certainly dated originally from 
 much further back. For my part, I have always be- 
 lieved in Arthur and his knights, and every word of 
 that book. For me they will ever remain true heroes of 
 history, and not fabulous creatures in any way, and I 
 am sure Hugh's spirit descended from one of them, and 
 Humphrey's, too. They both have their prototypes 
 therein. But I am not like Guinevere I love my 
 Lancelot without question or paltry jealousies of imag- 
 inary Elaines or others, and I am no great queen, only 
 a very loving woman. 
 
 Letitia wrote to me this morning. Her friends are 
 getting quite worried, she says, at " Winnie's " inabil- 
 ity to secure Hugh ! They almost regret Mrs. Dalison ! 
 They are so afraid he may look outside the circle. They 
 have not the faintest suspicion about me, she is glad to 
 say, and she herself is taking a puck-like joy in the sit- 
 uation. Hugh had gone off down to the Isle of Wight, 
 where he is having a new racing schooner tested to be 
 ready for Cowes week, she said, and she Letitia is 
 
 157
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 beginning to wonder if her interest in Lord Albert will 
 last out the season ! 
 
 I smiled when I read this epistle, and then carefully 
 got out of bed and burned it with a match in the open 
 grate. Humphrey has never respected my correspond- 
 ence, and would read any letter of mine he fancied 
 might interest him ; but fortunately he does not see the 
 early post, and never, except that once when he helped 
 to show the Minton Dremont party " The Lady Mar- 
 garet's Chamber," has he come into my room. 
 
 What could be the tragedy for a woman who loves a 
 man as I love Hugh, were she forced to live with her 
 husband as his wife ! But for me that would be a com- 
 pletely impossible situation. If I were really any longer 
 married to Humphrey, I could not have admitted Hugh 
 even to a close friendship. I once read a French novel 
 called Partage. It made an extraordinary effect upon 
 me. But, mercifully, I am free free since almost ten 
 years from any personal bondage. I should be very 
 grateful for that. And I am. 
 
 I feel happy all the day long. I never look ahead. 
 I laugh with Algernon, and play tennis with him and 
 his tutor, and I try to fall in with every wish of Hum- 
 phrey's ; and he said only to-day, at luncheon, that my 
 visit to London had, after all, done me good I was 
 looking quite alive. I ride with them both after tea, 
 and Algernon is trying to teach me to jump a tiny 
 hurdle in his steeplechase course. 
 
 But I look out, night and morning, from the east 
 window of my shrine, and I send a prayer across the 
 trees for the happiness and welfare of the owner of the 
 red chimneys which I see. 
 
 After a colossal joy such as I have had, one seems 
 to be satisfied for a while and want nothing more ; but 
 
 158
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 then begins at last an ache again. I felt it this morn- 
 ing, and it has been growing all day. The beauty of 
 the scenery touches some chord of longing for Hugh. 
 Roses make me quiver; evening opalescence, sounds of 
 birds everything of sweetness and Nature seems to 
 speak to me of my dear. I shall have to begin a stiff 
 course of reading again. 
 
 We are going to remain here all the time, with no 
 change. And the neighbors, now that the fine weather 
 and lack of hunting interests leave them freer, come to 
 see us more often. 
 
 Petrov is a great comfort to me. I squeeze him and 
 caress him, and tell all kinds of tales into his short 
 pointed ea .s. He follows me about all the time like a 
 dog, if ne can, and I have difficulties to keep him in 
 safety in the turret room. 
 
 How am I going to get through the days, now that 
 this ache has begun? I do not know. 
 
 Weeks and weeks have gone by. It is the end of 
 September now, and raining hard. Letitia has come 
 down to stay with us, among others, for our first par- 
 tridge shoot. I am writing alone in my turret room, 
 late at night. I sit here in this quiet hour and read 
 the books Hugh sent me in London. They bring me a 
 certain comfort, but, never having seen him once since 
 June, I seem to have slipped back into rather a gray 
 hopelessness again. Letitia has often sent me news of 
 him. He went yachting, and then to Scotland; and 
 Humphrey heard that he had been down to Minton 
 Dremont for two separate days on business; but his 
 flag did not fty, and we saw no sight of him. For five 
 years, it appears, he has not been absent from his home 
 
 159
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 for so long. I feel that I know why. It is not because 
 he has forgotten me. Now and then, a new book comes 
 from a shop, as if I had ordered it myself, and I find, 
 when I read it, it contains some message, so I have tried 
 to comfort myself ; and surely he must come back soon, 
 now that the shooting season has begun. 
 
 Letitia has finished with Lord Albert, and was so 
 amusing about him just now when she sat in here with 
 me before going to bed. 
 
 " Albert was all very well, Guinevere," she said. 
 " He carried me through the season admirably. He 
 danced nicely, and understood music, and knew every- 
 thing I wanted in London. But for the autumn I find 
 I require one with more outdoor tastes. Albert was a 
 shocking golf-player, and although I don't 'care for 
 golf, one must play nowadays, and there is no use in 
 having a person about one who is incapable of being a 
 help." 
 
 " Did he mind getting his conge? " I asked. " Poor 
 Lord Albert!" 
 
 " Of course he did, a little ; but he is staying up with 
 Ada now, in the north, and she is sure to place him 
 again before the winter. And, meanwhile, I have no 
 one. I must say, Guinevere, seeing Hugh's devotion to 
 you rather sickened me with what we all have to put up 
 with." 
 
 " But you knew Hugh, all of you, for years before 
 I ever saw him. Why did none of you secure him? 
 You had every chance." 
 
 " Yes " and she shaded her eyes from the fire with 
 her hand ; " we had too much chance ; and somehow we 
 do not ever seem to arouse passions like that. There 
 are cases where the thing seems profound, and lasts 
 more or less like Hilda Flint and Charlie Vernaby ; but 
 
 160
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 he is awfully unfaithful now and then to her, and only 
 remains from habit and because she knows all about his 
 horses." 
 
 To be able to keep a lover only because one knew 
 about his horses ! Oh ! how unspeakably humiliating ! 
 
 " You see," Letitia went on meditatively, " we rush 
 about too much, and see each other too often to make 
 any man in our set feel he wants any of us exclusively. 
 He knows we should tire, even if he did not, and the 
 whole thing is give and take, and momentary propin- 
 quity, and how things fall out. I have always thought 
 it was far the best way only, your two faces that 
 night at Maidenhead, and a talk Hugh had with me 
 afterward, made me feel a little wistful. Perhaps it 
 might be divine to be loved as Hugh loves you." 
 
 I knew it was ; but I only looked into the fire. 
 
 " And yet it would not be possible in the world," my 
 sister went on, as though to comfort herself. " It would 
 make a scandal. Of course, it is the kind of thing that 
 only happens once in a century. I almost believe you 
 would be quite happy if you were even married to each 
 other." 
 
 " I hope we should," I said. 
 
 " By the way, what will you do, Guinevere, when 
 Hugh does marry, some day? He will have to, you 
 know, with those awful consumptive prospective heirs 
 as an alternative." 
 
 I suddenly grew deadly cold, and Letitia kept her 
 steady eyes on my face all the time, and must have seen 
 me get paler, for she said, in a different voice: 
 
 " You care for him awfully, Guinevere. Oh ! dear, 
 that is pain, after all. Perhaps it was not worth it." 
 
 I came and sat on a low stool by her side and put my 
 head against her knee. 
 
 161
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 *' Yes, it was, Letitia worth anything : heaven or 
 hell. But we are not lovers in the sense that you 
 sometimes use the word and must try never to be." 
 
 Letitia bent forward and took my chin in her hands, 
 and looked long into my eyes; and, as once before in 
 this very room, a mist grew in hers. 
 
 " Your little face is like a child's, darling," she said. 
 " So pure and true. To you, for Hugh really to be 
 your lover would mean something divinely terrible, 
 would it not ? Well, I am afraid now that he will be, of 
 course ; it is only a question of time. You cannot stem 
 a torrent with a rose-hedge, or even with a stone wall. 
 I feel horribly responsible, because I only meant to 
 amuse you in the beginning; but it will be then I shall 
 have to take care of you, or your romantic and serious 
 notions will destroy yourself." Then she bent and 
 kissed me. " Guinevere, promise me you will make no 
 further moves without letting me know. There must be 
 some one with common-sense to watch over you. Hugh 
 has stayed away because he's fighting against tempta- 
 tion as hard as he can ; but it is bound to conquer in the 
 end, directly you see each other again." 
 
 " Then perhaps we ought not to meet," I faltered. 
 
 " It depends altogether upon how you look at these 
 things. If you take them all lightly, as we do in the 
 world, and can keep them at flirtation point, they do 
 not matter in the slightest degree, and leave no mark. 
 But for you, who take them seriously, it is a question 
 of whether you, under the circumstances of your life, 
 would feel yourself degraded or no in having a lover. 
 If you would, then it would be a sin and a dreadful pity 
 for you; but if, being no more married to Humphrey 
 now than I am, you chose to take Hugh, you might not 
 feel you were doing anything wrong. It is all in the 
 
 162
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 point of view. If a woman has a lover, she breaks a law 
 and every one who breaks a law pays a price; but the 
 question is whether or no you think the happiness is 
 worth the price of certain pain. That is what we have 
 to consider now, since this rushing torrent has gone 
 beyond the power of stemming. But I told you all this 
 once before," she went on. " The question of rights 
 and wrongs is arrived at by their effects upon the com- 
 munity, not only upon the individual. You must judge 
 of that. Of course, I don't mean what religious people 
 mean, but from a broad, common-sense view that looks 
 only at ethical morality. Religious people look upon 
 the marriage ceremony in church as a sacrament, there- 
 fore believe that it is a sin to break their vows under 
 even the most extenuating circumstances. They don't 
 realize the fact that the vows they made were upon 
 intangible premises. It is perfectly impossible to be 
 certain of continuing an emotion. No one can bid that 
 come or go. A very strong will might control the out- 
 ward demonstrations of it, perhaps and numbers do, 
 but for that you must have the real conviction that not 
 to do so would be a sin." 
 
 I sighed. I was horribly disturbed. 
 
 " Do not misunderstand me, Guinevere. I think it is 
 infinitely wiser for a woman never to take a lover, be- 
 cause I know that the breaking of any law brings cor- 
 responding punishment and the law of the land is 
 that fidelity is essential in the bond. The only point I 
 want to make clear to you is, that the ethical and spir- 
 itual side is for your own consideration. You must 
 decide what would hurt your personal soul in this, 
 since you are no longer living with Humphrey as his 
 wife. If you were, there could be no question as to the 
 sin." 
 
 163
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I laid my head against her knee again and Letitia 
 bent and stroked my hair. 
 
 " Little sister," she went on, " I am a person of such 
 crude common-sense that I felt I had to put the actual 
 case before you, now that I see that things have gone 
 too far to keep them on the level of just amusement. 
 And you alone can decide what you ought to do." 
 
 " Yes, you are right," I agreed. " But no one, as a 
 rule, dares to expound these views as you have done." 
 
 Letitia smiled. 
 
 " Naturally not," she said. " We are still under the 
 dominion of hypocrisy ; it has to go on until a better 
 arrangement suggests itself for the good of the com- 
 munity. Meanwhile, we have got to be hypocrites and 
 pretend what seems best. But these views are what 
 nine-tenths of civilized people would agree with in their 
 hearts, only they would never have the courage to admit 
 it. We don't discuss these things in the world; they 
 are understood, that is all. Nature is always the win- 
 ner, or the destroyer, if you interfere with her." 
 
 " Letitia, Humphrey would think you were fright- 
 fully wicked, if he could hear you talk. Is it not 
 strange, when he has broken that seventh command- 
 ment numbers of times in his youth, and probably would 
 again now if he felt inclined? " 
 
 "Poop old Humphrey!" my sister rejoined. ' l He 
 cannot help himself; he belongs to that generation in 
 which each man had laid down a law as of the Medes 
 and Persians that his own sisters and wife must be 
 entirely chaste, while he himself felt perfectly free to 
 try and undermine the virtue of every other man's wife 
 and sister. Their sense of humor had a good deal 
 lapsed, it would seem." 
 
 " And if you expounded these views to your friends
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 - the Duchess, 4 Winnie,' and Lady Marjoribanks, for 
 instance would they be shocked?" I asked. "Be- 
 cause some of them have had lovers, haven't they? " 
 
 " Of course they have, but they would be dreadfully, 
 shocked to have to admit that it was because they did 
 not think it was ethically wrong. They prefer to ignore 
 the subject altogether, and not mix up conscience with 
 it. It is frightfully bad form to have the courage to 
 state honest unorthodox views and act up to them. It 
 is much better taste to be unmoral secretly thinking 
 yourself immoral, but not facing the fact." 
 
 " That seems to me to be perfectly frightful and de- 
 grading," I said feelingly. 
 
 " Well, they aren't very high-souled, are they, pet? " 
 And Letitia laughed. " But they are not bad sorts, 
 and we are not their judges. Ada is very religious, and 
 does endless good on her husband's property, and is 
 loved of all old women. She is absolutely a lady, you 
 know. Poor old Ermyntrude is so vague and artistic ; 
 but she is kindly, too. And Winnie, who isn't really 
 quite quite, underneath, gives thousands to public 
 moral charities and opens bazaars and creches and 
 what-not all the year round. God will judge us all, I 
 expect, and give us our rewards." 
 
 " Letitia, you are a dear ! " I exclaimed. 
 
 " It is quite time I went to bed and you, too," she 
 returned, and patted my hair, which was hanging down 
 in a long plait. " Guinevere, I never saw a woman look 
 so young as you do. No one would take you for more 
 than eighteen to-night, in that white dressing-gown, 
 and by all the laws you ought to be withered and old- 
 maidish, having had so little joy in life." 
 
 " I have been awfully happy since the spring," I 
 told her, as we went through my room and along the 
 
 165
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 endless twisted corridors to the other part of the house 
 Letitia is afraid to creep back alone, with only a 
 candle, she says, as all lights, by Humphrey's orders, 
 are put out at half-past ten o'clock. 
 
 " Complete happiness for you is bound to come 
 and perhaps complete misery with your serious tem- 
 perament, little sister," she said, kissing me good night 
 in her room. " Well, I will help you to the first, since 
 things are now inevitable, and see you through the 
 other, if it happens. Bless you, pet ! " 
 
 And all the way back here to my turret chamber her 
 words have rung in my ears. Well, I must leave all 
 things to fate, and be true to myself and what I think 
 ethically right. There is one thing I know: not for 
 any happiness in this world would I degrade my own 
 soul, were I given the choice. I love Hugh utterly and 
 forever, and I belong to him for that reason, and to 
 him alone. And oh! the joy to make him perfectly 
 happy, the glory and the pride I shall find in surren- 
 der; giving him that supreme gift of myself when he 
 shall ask it of me, in perfect faith and trust. 
 
 When I looked out of the east window this morning 
 to say my prayers, I saw with a great heart-bound that 
 the flag of the Dremonts waved from the staff above 
 the trees. 
 
 Hugh was there ! And I knew I should see him soon ! 
 
 Letitia received a note from him, by hand, when I 
 went up to her after I had poured out the coffee at the 
 general breakfast. He had called at Norfolk Street 
 before coming down yesterday, it appeared, and had 
 been told she was at Redwood. She did not read the 
 letter aloud, but she smiled mischievously. 
 
 166
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Leave it to me, Guinevere," she said. " Now tell 
 Humphrey to come up and chat to me for a moment 
 before the guns start. He won't be able to refuse me 
 anything in this attractive cap." 
 
 Letitia looks too adorable at her breakfast. She has 
 every becoming arrangement one could think of to en- 
 hance her every charm and conceal any small defect of 
 age. Humphrey honestly thinks her the finest and most 
 charming woman he knows which she is. 
 
 I felt light-hearted as a girl as I ran down the stairs 
 with my message, and though Humphrey growled and 
 mumbled something about the utter inconsiderateness 
 of women just when men were going to start he 
 mounted the stairs, not ill-pleased underneath. 
 
 Algernon has gone to Eton three days ago; other- 
 wise, how delighted he would have been to kill his first 
 partridge! He is going to be a fine shot, his father 
 says. 
 
 Our party is quite agreeable amiable wives of guns 
 for the most part, but easy to entertain and only 
 two of them, besides Letitia, decided to come out to 
 lunch, as it was still threatening to rain; and as we 
 walked up to the old barn, where the trestled tables 
 were laid out, a tremendous quiver came over me and 
 made me stammer in the middle of a sentence, for there 
 in the wide doorway, leaning against the rough oak, 
 waiting for us, was Hugh Dremont ! 
 
 " It was so good of the General to send over to me," 
 he said politely, as he shook hands. " I am just down 
 for a day or two, and wanted to see you all again. I 
 am not going to shoot, only to lunch, and walk with 
 you afterward. Ah! how do you do, Lady Lang- 
 thorpe? " as Letitia came up. 
 
 And both their eyes were full of sprightly under- 
 167
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 standing as they greeted each other, while such joy 
 flooded my being that at first I could not speak. 
 
 " Do you see them coming? " one of the ladies asked. 
 " Could we not go and meet them down the lane? " 
 
 " Yes, do let us," Letitia agreed, drawing the other 
 woman into her group, too, while, murmuring I must 
 just look at the lunch table, I went into the barn, fol- 
 lowed by Hugh. 
 
 The servants were there, so we chaffed a few words, 
 and then went out again and sat on a low stone wall, 
 where we could see the sportsmen when they should 
 come in sight from afar. 
 
 And then we turned and looked at each other. 
 
 " Oh! my darling! " was all Hugh said. And " At 
 last! "I cried. 
 
 Then our sentences came quickly: questions from 
 him, and answers from me: 
 
 Was I well? Did I love him? Had I missed him? 
 Was I glad to see him ? and a dozen more tender things ; 
 and then, satisfied with my replies, he burst forth with 
 his tale of the impossible summer he had passed; the 
 daily fighting down his mad longing to come to me ; and 
 how twice it had mastered him, and he had returned to 
 Minton Dremont, and there conquered it and gone back 
 again without seeing me; but that at last his will was 
 at an end, since fate made it imperative that he should 
 return to his home. 
 
 " I thought I loved you as much as it was possible, 
 in London, Guinevere," he said passionately, " but I 
 know that each day since we parted you have grown 
 more dear." 
 
 " And you, also, Hugh," I whispered and down on 
 the stone wall he pressed my hand. 
 
 He is looking bronzed and well, my Beloved One, and 
 168
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 more attractive to me than ever, and his voice fills me 
 with joy and contentment; and when I meet his eyes, I 
 thrill, and oh ! I love him, I love him with the essence 
 of my life. 
 
 We had not time for anything more, for the group 
 of guns came in view, and we walked forward to meet 
 them, returning en masse for lunch. But I knfew that 
 Letitia would arrange that I should have a chance of 
 talking during the afternoon, somehow ; and she did. 
 
 I stood with Humphrey, as is his wish always on the 
 rare occasions I have ever been out shooting with him, 
 because we have not been in England for so long; but 
 just before the two last drives, one of the ladies, Mrs. 
 Hepburn, said she was cold and tired, and wished to go 
 back, and my husband, put out at any disturbance of 
 his plans, asked Hugh, who knows all this country, to 
 show us the way home, and Letitia said she would come, 
 too, leaving Mrs. Monroe to stay with the guns. Le- 
 titia had stood with Hugh all the time, creating quite 
 the impression that he had come there only to see her. 
 So now we four started across the fields toward a wood, 
 but before we got there we had, by her skilful mano2u- 
 vring, divided into two and two. 
 
 " We can't go wrong right through these trees, if 
 we stick to the path, can we, Hugh? " she asked. " Mrs. 
 Hepburn and I are so cold, we want to run on for a 
 little and get our circulation up ; but Guinevere hates 
 walking fast." 
 
 He assured her they would be perfectly safe, and 
 thus, after a few seconds, we were at last left alone.
 
 CHAPTER XVI 
 
 shadows in the wood made it quite dusky, 
 and the sky was heavy with clouds. The very 
 instant the pair in front were out of sight, 
 Hugh stretched out his hands and took my 
 hands. 
 
 " Oh ! the hunger of it ! " he said, very low, as if the 
 words were wrenched from his heart; and we could 
 neither of us speak coherently, we were both so moved. 
 
 " And to think that when we have come through this 
 wood and crossed a few fields, we shall have to play the 
 comedy again, and I may not even touch your fingers ! 
 Oh ! Guinevere, it is torture, is it not ? " 
 
 The mighty workings of passion had carried us both 
 on so far from that night in Hugh's sitting-room, when 
 he had told me he would try to keep his love within the 
 bounds that could never bring me sorrow. But I could 
 not reproach him with that; we had gone together 
 along the same road. 
 
 " Yes, it is anguish," I agreed. " But now that I 
 have seen you, I can bear it better. As the days went 
 on, after the ache began again, the longing for you to 
 come was almost more than I could bear." 
 
 "My darling!" 
 
 " Hugh, we must not look ahead the situation is 
 too impossible. Let us be happy again now for this 
 short while, and never live in anything but the actual 
 moment." 
 
 " Ah ! if we can. But I am mad, I think, Guinevere. 
 170
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I hardly sleep at all, some nights. At Cowes on the 
 yacht, it was simply sickening on thost moonlight even- 
 ings. I did not believe a passionate love for a woman 
 could bring a man such pain. Then I went to Scotland, 
 and walked the whole party off their legs, to try and 
 get tired enough to be indifferent to emotion." 
 
 " And I have read books and played tennis and 
 nearly strangled Petrov once or twice. He was the 
 only thing that comforted me ; he seemed to know and 
 sympathize." 
 
 " What are we to do ? " 
 
 Unconsciously we had walked a few paces fast, but 
 when he said this he made me pause, and drew me down 
 to sit beside him on a fallen log. 
 
 " Guinevere, what are we to do ? " Tie repeated again. 
 
 I could only look at him in pitiful distress. He was 
 suffering so my darling one! 
 
 Then he suddenly covered his face with his hands. 
 
 " Oh ! what a weakling I am ! " he cried brokenly. 
 " I who should be strong and take care of you so 
 fragile and tender. And the purgatory and frightful 
 unrest I have been through has brought me to this, that 
 I hurt you instead of comforting you. Forgive me, 
 darling child." 
 
 Of course I told him that I forgave him. But that 
 we must try and be grateful for just meeting, and not 
 spoil the time by being so unhappy. 
 
 " Yes, you are right, Guinevere," he agreed. " And 
 I will conquer all this presently, and try again only to 
 bring you joy. But there is no solace for us here in 
 the wood I may not even hold your dear hand, with 
 the chance of any stray beater about. I must always 
 think of you, sweetheart. Now, tell me everything you 
 have done since we parted every little thing." 
 12 171
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I tried to do so, but a delicious, dream-like happiness 
 was stealing over me with the knowledge of his pres- 
 ence, and made my words come slow. 
 
 Then he told me of all his thoughts of me ; how they 
 had never left me, and how utterly meaningless every- 
 thing seemed that he had done and suffered during the 
 long months. 
 
 " I have been fighting all this time," he said, " but I 
 shall not try to do so any more it is not possible. 
 I shall see you whenever it can be arranged with safety. 
 I am going away on Friday again, but in a week I 
 shall return, and then I shall stay. One might as well 
 be dead as. to go on suffering the torture of this sep- 
 aration." 
 
 I could only acquiesce; it was entirely what I felt, 
 too. 
 
 Then we were much happier, saying love things to 
 each other for a few minutes, until we both realized we 
 must not linger any more, but go on through the wood. 
 
 " You look too sweet in that short skirt, Guinevere," 
 Hugh told me, as we walked along. " But you seem to 
 have got thinner, dear. Are you sure you have been 
 well? " and his voice was anxious. 
 
 " Yes, I have been well ; but I think this place, and 
 the damp of it do not suit me quite. I feel very tired 
 always and stupid like that." 
 
 " Darling, you ought to go to the South for the 
 winter. With the autumn fogs coming on, how will you 
 bear it ? Minton Dremont is on so much higher ground, 
 it seems to be a different climate always to Redwood. 
 I must discuss with Letitia what we can possibly sug- 
 gest for you." And his dear face was full of concern 
 and pain. 
 
 *' There would not be the least use, Hugh. Hum- 
 172
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 phrey says .Redwood Moat has been good enough for 
 the Bohuns for four hundred years, and is to he good 
 enough for them to the end of time. Unless I were 
 actually seriously ill, as I was in India, he would not 
 hear of my going to the South of France. And I am 
 not ill, you know; only listless rather but now that 
 you have come, it will be all changed. You are the 
 sunshine for me, Hugh." 
 
 He could hardly speak, he was so moved. But then 
 I could see he put a strong control upon himself and 
 tried to be gay for the rest of our walk, and when we 
 reached the drawbridge I felt all the blood running in 
 my veins with joy and the brisk exercise; and Hugh 
 looked more content. 
 
 " The General has asked me to return and dine," he 
 said, as we mounted the front doorsteps. " But the 
 guns will not be in for another hour. May I come up 
 into your little turret room for a while? I will come by 
 the steps straight from the garden Letitia said that 
 would be perfectly simple and it would be so divine 
 to see you there just once." 
 
 I felt a sudden thrill. How clever Letitia is ! Yes, 
 it would be possible the lady guests would be in 
 their rooms, and I would not be expected to go down 
 until tea, at half-past five ; and as soon as Parton had 
 removed my shooting things and .given me a tea-gown, 
 she would go off to her own tea at half-past four 
 miles away in the other part of the house. The tempta- 
 tion was too great to resist. 
 
 " Yes," I answered, catching my breath. " Don't 
 come in with me now, then; go into the garden and 
 wait, and in a quarter of an hour come straight up the 
 stairs." 
 
 The great clock chimed quarter-past four that 
 173
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 would give me just time, as Parton is a punctual per- 
 son, and would not delay a moment from her tea. 
 
 Hugh turned and left me, casually going across the 
 courtyard toward the stables, and I bounded up the 
 great stairs to my wing, a strange excitement now in 
 my heart. 
 
 There I found Parton already laying out my things, 
 and Letitia warming her hands by the fire. 
 
 " You should have a little rest, Guinevere," she said. 
 " That big hooded chair in your shrine is a delightful 
 place to doze in. I am going to have a sleep until tea, 
 Don't let them disturb Mrs. Bohun until after five 
 o'clock, Parton," she added, as she walked toward the 
 door. " She is tired out." 
 
 And my maid agreed, and soon I was ready, in a 
 quiet gray tea-gown, and Parton left me in peace, sit- 
 ting in the old magenta-covered chair, with a .blazing 
 fire of logs and the curtains drawn over the windows, 
 while Petrov purred upon my knee. 
 
 Then my heart began to beat to suffocation, for I 
 heard Hugh's steps coming softly up the stairs. 
 
 The little narrow door was oiled long ago, because 
 I hate noises, and it moves silently on its old iron 
 hinges. 
 
 I do not know what he could have seen in my expres- 
 sion as I stood up, trembling, ready to greet him, for 
 he held me from him, and his face, from the passionate 
 gladness of its expression as he entered, became quite 
 pale and stern. 
 
 " Dear heart," he said, " you are full of fear ! Guine- 
 vere, my darling, trust me, I implore you! I worship 
 you, you know, and am not altogether a brute." 
 
 " Oh ! Hugh," I half sobbed, as I buried my face on 
 his breast. 
 
 174,
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 And when he had kissed me with divine tenderness, 
 he made me return to the chair again, and himself drew 
 a low oak seat that is one of my new acquisitions close 
 to my side, and there sat down, stretching out his long 
 limbs toward the blaze. Then I put out my hand and 
 rather timidly caressed his hair. It is so thick and 
 smooth only a slight wave where it is brushed back 
 from his broad forehead. I have always wanted to 
 touch his hair. 
 
 He turned to me eyes full of absolute adoration. 
 
 "Oh! how blessed!" he said gently. "To rest 
 here after the stress of the day, and to have you 
 touch me like that. You have angel fingers, Guine- 
 vere. My mother used to stroke my hair when I was 
 a boy." 
 
 " Isn't it peaceful, Hugh? " I responded, my heart 
 quite calm and happy now, the excitement all fled. 
 " And we have a whole half-hour in perfect security, 
 and I promise not to be nervous once. Do you remem- 
 ber how silly I was, starting like that in Richmond 
 Park? " 
 
 I would have wished him to read to me, but there was 
 not enough light only the blazing logs. So we talked 
 to one another, all sorts of beautiful tendernesses ; and 
 never once did Hugh lose control of himself, even when 
 presently I let him clasp me in his arms and kiss me to 
 his heart's content. 
 
 But his voice was frightfully deep when at length he 
 got up to go, as five o'clock struck, and it trembled 
 ominously. 
 
 " Guinevere," he whispered. " Darling, I have 
 shown you now that I can master myself because I 
 love you so. But I am only human; I will not come 
 again up here I could not bear it Guinevere 
 
 175
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 you have not forgotten what you promised me in Lon- 
 don, have you, dear? " 
 
 He held me from him and looked into my eyes. 
 
 " I said there was only to be your will, Hugh," I 
 answered him, hardly aloud. 
 
 And, almost crushing me in his arms, he turned and 
 went to the staircase door. There he halted a minute. 
 
 " Then fate will arrange," he whispered, and went 
 softly from the room. 
 
 It is Christmas Day a gray day, with a wind and 
 a ruffled sea. Oh! how long since I have written, or 
 thought, or even breathed! We are here in the South 
 of France, after all, and I have been so ill. 
 
 But there is nothing the matter with my lungs, the 
 doctor says, now that the pneumonia is cured; only I 
 must get well in the sunlight. And never since that 
 September afternoon have I seen my Beloved. 
 
 Ah! I cannot go back and pick up the threads, one 
 by one, of how a chill, caught and neglected the follow- 
 ing day of the shoot, commenced the gradual lowering 
 of my vitality and left me a prey to whatever evil thing 
 was passing. And before Hugh returned again to Min- 
 ton Dremont, I was very ill. 
 
 Letitia came back and comforted me like an angel. 
 One would not have supposed that she, with all the 
 cares of her great position, could have found time 
 but she did. And Hugh was nearly crazy, it seems, and 
 stayed during the whole period at Minton Dremont, all 
 alone, getting news daily. But the circumstances were 
 too difficult for us to meet even Letitia admitted 
 that. For as soon as I could be moved, in the begin- 
 ning of November, we came here to St. Raphael, and I 
 
 176
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 was too weak to stand any excitement, she feared. Then 
 she had herself to leave me, and Humphrey's old sister 
 took her place. 
 
 My husband has felt it a personal insult to himself 
 and his house, my having been so ill. And when the 
 actual danger to my life was over, he let me understand 
 this, if not in words. I heard continual stories of the 
 strength and hardiness of his mother and all those 
 Bohun ladies who had gone before. And then, when 
 the doctor said it was absolutely necessary that I should 
 go to the South for a while, Humphrey had an explo- 
 sion of rage. With all his new hunters eating their 
 heads off in the stable, and in the first year of his 
 return to his ancestral home, to have a wife who chose 
 that time to get some trumpery illness, and then require 
 to go to a beastly foreign country to recoup, was more 
 than a man could bear! I heard all this, and I was 
 still so weak that it made me cry. I felt the truth of 
 my shortcomings. But a compromise was arrived at 
 when Letitia announced her intention of seeing me 
 safely settled at St. Raphael, and Miss Araminta Bo- 
 hun consented to join me when my sister must leave. 
 In this way, Humphrey was enabled to remain at home, 
 and looked forward to having Algernon for the Christ- 
 mas holidays, and continuous hunting all to himself. 
 
 So Letitia and I came here, and life crept back to me, 
 assisted greatly by the tenderest letters from Hugh. 
 
 But since my sister left, three weeks ago, I have not 
 been able to receive many. They must come in hers I 
 would not trust Miss Araminta Bohun. She has the 
 curiosity of all disappointed old maids, and while I 
 was too feeble to interfere, sorted out all the corre- 
 spondence for us both which arrived, scrutinizing each 
 envelope with a gimlet eye. 
 
 177
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Letitia's last words have been a comfort to me: 
 
 " Do not fret or grieve, darling," she said. " You 
 know Hugh is thinking only of you from morning to 
 night, and the first moment there is a sensible chance, 
 he will come to you. After all, you have your whole 
 lives before you both ; you need not hurry to meet, and 
 so cause things to be so impossible that you cannot go 
 on doing so." 
 
 And with this I have to be content. But to-day, 
 Christmas Day, has brought a strange depression. It 
 is to me always a melancholy time. I have no memories 
 of joy with it. 
 
 We have been to church, where the stiff old English 
 parson discoursed upon the graves of loved ones far 
 away. 
 
 Then my sister-in-law wore a solemn air at dejeuner, 
 The whole thing foreign hotel, food at unusual hours, 
 and no holly or mistletoe has jarred upon her un- 
 bearably. She is sixty-four, Araminta, and as hardy as 
 an Alpine annual; but she hates to have her habits 
 upset. 
 
 She read me a homily after breakfast, in our sitting- 
 room, and all the time the tears were so near to my 
 eyes that now at last I have crept here to my room to 
 be alone. I cannot, cannot pretend any longer. I can- 
 not crush the cruel ache in my heart, the void in my 
 soul. For whenever I do see you, oh my Beloved, it will 
 be a snatch, and a frightful unrest, knowing the mo- 
 ments will be transient and the longing must begin all 
 over again. The post is late to-day and has not yet 
 come in. Perhaps I shall hear from you that may 
 comfort my heart. But, meanwhile, I am alone, and 
 outside is the sorrowful sea and the soughing wind in 
 the fir-trees. 
 
 178
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 One can suppress love, I suppose, if one is strong, 
 and encourage diversion and excite the intellect; but 
 the god will come to his own, and then, as to-day, one 
 lies prostrate, ready to make any bargains with fate, 
 for the sight of a face, the sound of a voice; for the 
 clasp of strong arms and the pressing of dear lips; 
 when nothing in the world consoles one; when one can 
 only crouch in one's cave, too deeply anguished for 
 tears. 
 
 Dawn has broken; the mood of the weather has 
 changed; there is not a cloud in the sky or a ripple on 
 the sea, and the glorious sun rises above the dark velvet 
 of the fir-trees. Has it come to warm my frozen soul? 
 Is it a message of hope, that I may read from its splen- 
 dors that life will smile again some day for me even 
 for me, too and that I may soon see my Beloved ? 
 
 The Christmas letters only came in just now, by the 
 first post the day after; and there is one from Hugh 
 which would comfort any woman. 
 
 He longs for me, just as I long for him. He has a 
 party at Minton Dremont a family party and 
 Lord Burbridge, his nephew, and Algernon, both back 
 from Eton, are having the most sporting time together. 
 
 Hugh proposes to run out to Monte Carlo and stay 
 at St. Raphael on the way, pretending his motor has 
 broken down, because, as he says, he cannot any longer 
 bear the torment of not seeing me. So by New Year's 
 Day I am to expect a surprise visit. He will arrive 
 about luncheon time, and hopes somehow I will be able 
 to arrange to see him alone. 
 
 179
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Although I am not at all strong yet, I wrote him out 
 a telegram, and took it into the town myself to send off. 
 Just to say he would find me on January the first out 
 on the far rocks at the Lion de terre, at two o'clock, if 
 he motored that way and came to look for me. And 
 then I struggled back to the hotel and lay on my bed, 
 exhausted. But I must make a beginning of going out 
 by myself, so as to be strong enough to get to the rocks 
 in these few days' time. The joy of the thought! I 
 have no further room for tristesse. What will he look 
 like? What will he say to me, when he comes, in six 
 days from now? 
 
 Alas! it seems that I am not to be happy. Hugh 
 broke his collar-bone out hunting, two days after 
 Christmas, and cannot move just yet. Letitia wrote to 
 me a long account of it, and of his bitter disappoint- 
 ment. No wonder I was so melancholy on Christmas 
 Day! This was in the air. He will come the moment 
 he is better, she says, and so does his left-hand pen- 
 cilled note. But that cannot be for a few weeks. 
 
 The divine beauty of the scene which meets my eye 
 each time I look from my window only seems to mock 
 me. It is having been so ill, I suppose ; 1 have lost my 
 vitality. 
 
 By the same post which brought this blow to fall 
 upon me there came a letter from Humphrey, telling me 
 he is to be sent with the Duke of Stornoway's mission 
 to take the Garter to the new Emperor of Araucaria; 
 he is full of pompous gratification. He will surely, he 
 says, receive from the Emperor the Grand Cordon of 
 the Blue Lion; and he loves orders and medals and 
 that sort of thing. He pretends it is a bore having to 
 
 180
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 start early in February, in the full swing of the hunt- 
 ing season, but Algernon will have returned to Eton, 
 and, after all, one must do one's duty to one's country, 
 he admits. He will be away until early in June, because 
 he has been requested privately to visit certain terri- 
 tories belonging to England, leaving the mission on the 
 way back, so as to give his opinion upon the defences 
 in them. 
 
 " I suppose you will be well by that time," he wrote, 
 " and able once more to fulfil your duties at home." 
 
 I suppose so. But meanwhile, for nearly four 
 months, I shall be free ! A great sigh came to my lips, 
 of sudden relief and comfort, when I realized this. 
 
 We had settled to return to England on the first of 
 February, in any case, as my sister-in-law Araminta 
 can no longer remain away from Bath and her home 
 comforts, and finds that to be a companion to a con- 
 valescent who has to be considered is not an occupation 
 which is agreeable to her. 
 
 I wrote all my sympathy and congratulations to 
 Humphrey, and said I would come back to see him off. 
 And so the days drone on ; but there is a sense of sup- 
 pressed excitement. Letitia has a surprise for me, she 
 says. She has arranged with Humphrey that she is to 
 stay with me at Redwood, or I am to stay with her in 
 London, or in Cheshire, during all the time of my hus- 
 band's absence. And that means that I shall certainly 
 see Hugh. His right arm is still strapped to his side, 
 and his left-hand little scribbles are diificult to read; 
 but they are loving, and each one makes me happy. 
 
 Ever since this news came of my prospective months 
 of holiday I have been growing better. Now I can 
 walk as far as the rocks with no great fatigue, and 
 Parton assures me I am not nearly so pale and thin. 
 
 181
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I have the kind of feeling that Hugh is suppressing 
 all great signs of emotion, but that a furnace is burn- 
 ing underneath; and as the days approach for my ar- 
 rival in England I feel so excited I can hardly sleep. 
 
 It appears he has seen a very great deal of Hum- 
 phrey and Algernon this winter Algernon especially. 
 
 " They have strange traits, both of them," he wrote 
 in one of his letters. " They are so suspicious of 
 every one's motives; and over animals they are both 
 rather brutes. But they have the pluck of the devil 
 in the hunting-field, and one has a sort of hard admira- 
 tion for them but as guardians for my fragile Guine- 
 vere, they could hardly be more unsuitable." And then, 
 in another letter : " It makes me boil with rage to hear 
 the General speaking of women with his cynical 
 brutal contempt of them. And to think you, my dar- 
 ling, have had to endure that atmosphere for all these 
 years ! " 
 
 To-morrow we leave for Paris, and by Thursday 
 evening I shall be in Norfolk Street, where Humphrey, 
 who is in London making his preparations, will come to 
 see me, and then leave me with Letitia when he 
 starts off . 
 
 He is so full of himself and his mission that he has 
 not had time to think jealously of my being away from 
 him, as once he would have done, although he has no 
 more emotion for me himself. But he is jealous over 
 everything which belongs to him, as are all egotistical 
 people, I expect. 
 
 And to think that the next time I can write, it will 
 be in England, and with the prospect of seeing Hugh! 
 Ah ! me, it is good to be alive, after all !
 
 CHAPTER XVH 
 FEBRUARY, 1906 
 
 ND so we are at Redwood Moat again, and 
 Humphrey is on his way to his far destina- 
 tion. Algernon and I waved to him from the 
 station platform, and then my son went back 
 to Eton, and I rejoined Letitia in Norfolk Street; and 
 the next day came down here. It is the tenth of Febru- 
 ary, 1906. Why do I write the date, I wonder? and 
 to-morrow I shall see Hugh ! 
 
 Petrov's joy at my return is sweet to see. He has 
 moped and grown quite thin during my absence. The 
 house seems terribly damp and cold, and Letitia shivers. 
 She had intended to have a rest-cure here with me, she 
 said, before an unusually busy London season; but to- 
 night she has spent the time since dinner in writing a 
 long epistle to Hugh. He is at Minton Dremont, and 
 to-morrow comes over to lunch with us, so why she had 
 to write to him to-night I did not at first guess. 
 
 " Guinevere," she said just now, sniffing the air, " I 
 am sure there is something wrong with the water in the 
 moat ; it is dreadfully unhealthy, and the worst possible 
 thing for you, still so delicate as you are. I noticed it 
 this afternoon, and spoke to Hartington about it, and 
 he said it would be a perfect mercy now to have the 
 moat cleaned out all round, if only the family could be 
 away. He said * Sir Hugh Dremont ' had remarked it, 
 too, the last time he was over with * the master,' and he, 
 
 183
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Hartington, had * made so bold ' as to say to Sir Hugh 
 that he thought it a pity for the mistress to be here 
 now, in the bad weather, with it in this state, and Sir 
 Hugh had agreed with him. It would only take ' a 
 matter of three weeks or so ' to do it, he said, if only 
 4 the mistress ' would consent to go somewhere else ; and 
 that Sir Hugh had said why should not * the family ' 
 meaning you and me, of course, Guinevere go and 
 stop for the time at Minton Dremont? It was big 
 enough, in all conscience, and he would not be having 
 visitors, and they could be as quiet as they pleased. 
 Hartington and I discussed the whole thing, and settled 
 it together, so now I have written to Hugh to say the 
 plan seems awfully good to me, and he had better try 
 and persuade you into it to-morrow at luncheon. What 
 do you say? I am going to have the letter sent over in 
 the morning." 
 
 I was simply overcome it sounded as if an angel 
 from heaven had descended and asked me to go and 
 spend some time in Paradise. 
 
 " Humphrey left Hartington more or less in charge 
 of everything," I blurted out, " so, if he thinks it a 
 good idea, I have nothing to say against it," and then 
 a nervous, ecstatic laugh came to my lips. " Oh ! Le- 
 titia, how divine ! " 
 
 " Yes," returned my sister, in her most matter-of- 
 fact tone. " The house is awfully comfortable, and 
 Hugh is an angelic host, and will pet and cosset you 
 back into robust health you white, wretched-looking 
 creature ! " 
 
 Then she patted me and laughed. 
 
 " Doctor Burnley is coming in the morning, and he 
 is sure to tell me he is quite of the same opinion as 
 Hartington ; so, you see, it is your duty to go. I could 
 
 184."
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 not have remained in this haunted, gloomy place for 
 my rest-cure, I tell you frankly, darling. Now go to 
 bed; you look as pale as a ghost, Guinevere." 
 
 And I said I would, and she left me a few minutes 
 ago here in my turret chamber, and I pulled aside the 
 curtains of the east window and there saw, high over 
 the tree-tops, one enormous star rising in the dark-blue 
 sky, and it seemed like a message of joy and happiness. 
 
 Hugh came a little before luncheon. I was up in my 
 shrine, and I heard his and Letitia's voices on the stair, 
 and she called to me, as once before she had done, and, 
 as once before, I heard footsteps and knew the moment 
 for reunion with my Beloved had come. I trembled so, 
 I had to hold on to the back of the chair, as Hugh 
 opened the door and strode toward me, with arms out- 
 stretched. But his glad cry was mixed with anguish 
 when he looked into my face. 
 
 " Oh, my darling, how white you look and small ! " 
 
 And then we did not speak for a few minutes. There 
 was the hunger and pain and agony of all these months 
 to be assuaged, clasped in each other's arms. 
 
 Hugh's collar-bone is mended now, and he looked so 
 splendid and strong and well. And oh, his tenderness 
 to me ! his fond anxiety over me ; his protective, pos- 
 sessive adoration! It was worth having been ill for 
 it was worth anything in the world; and we hated to 
 have to go down to luncheon, even, we had so much to 
 say. 
 
 Letitia played the game before the servants with 
 consummate skill. She announced Dr. Burnley's views, 
 and appealed to Hartington, who seconded every word 
 she said; and Hugh brought out his invitation with 
 
 185
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 superb sans gene, and before the meal was over it was 
 settled that we should remove to Minton Dremont that 
 very afternoon. " The sooner the better for Mrs. Bo- 
 hun," Dr. Burnley had said, so Letitia informed us. 
 
 Hugh left immediately after lunch, to make every- 
 thing ready for us. 
 
 " I must have you in my own wing, Letitia," he had 
 said. " There are absolutely no draughts there, and 
 Guinevere can go up and down those private stairs 
 without getting cold. We shall dine in the small break- 
 fast-room that I use when I am alone, so as to be cozy 
 don't you think so ? " 
 
 And my sister agreed to all these things. 
 
 When the time to start arrived four o'clock and 
 just getting dusk I felt quite sick with excitement. 
 What would it be like at Minton Dremont ! 
 
 Hugh came forward to meet us in the hall, his eyes 
 shining like stars, and everywhere there was warmth 
 and brightness and quantities of flowers ; and we had 
 tea in the morning-room which opens into that ante- 
 chamber where the trophies of sport hang. 
 
 A shy joy and silence was upon me and a perfect 
 sense of safety and peace. The superlative happiness 
 and rest, not to feel I must listen for coming interrup- 
 tions and suffer that whole sense of fear and unease 
 tvhich rules the atmosphere at Redwood Moat! 
 
 Letitia is so admirable; she never neglects any of 
 the points in any of her games. She did all the talking, 
 saying Hugh might ask Gerald Northey down in a few 
 days Guinevere would be feeling better by then, and 
 so would not be confused with conversation and vis- 
 itors. And then she carried me off to my room, saying 
 I might change into a tea-gown and rest there, if I 
 liked, or, on Hugh's suggestion, would find the most 
 
 186
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 comfortable sofa by the log fire in his own sitting-room. 
 The two of them spoilt and petted me as though I had 
 been an invalid baby. I can never say how happy I 
 felt. 
 
 My room, I found, was a most charming, rosy chintz 
 place, with nothing of state and darkness in it. It 
 might have been full summer, for the roses which great 
 bowls were filled with to have them for most of the 
 year is one of Hugh's fads and its windows, the 
 housekeeper told us, as she showed us in, looked full 
 south. It was perfectly quiet, too, with its bathroom 
 and dressing-room next door, and Letitia in an equally 
 comfortable apartment across the passage. 
 
 " You are next to me, Letitia," said Hugh, " so you 
 can feel perfectly safe from burglars and ghosts in the 
 night ! " 
 
 We were so merry all the time, and I felt full of life 
 and returning health, Tor happiness is a much greater 
 doctor than ever JEsculapius could have been. 
 
 When finally I did get down into Hugh's sitting- 
 room, at about six o'clock, he was there waiting for me. 
 
 It looked so comfortable and peaceful, with all the 
 russet silk curtains drawn and just the big, softly- 
 shaded lamps and the crackling and glowing logs. And 
 close to my sofa, which he had prepared for me with 
 soft cushions, was a huge bunch of deep-red roses, 
 giving forth a sweet, fresh scent. 
 
 " I would not have white ones to-day, sweetheart," 
 Hugh said. " You are too pale yourself. And I am 
 going to take care of you and love and worship you 
 until they are no longer your prototype ! " 
 
 He was as gentle as the tenderest nurse, and made 
 me lie down and rest, while he sat beside me, holding 
 and caressing my hand, and now and then my hair; 
 13 187
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and we talked of all sorts of beautiful things, and of 
 our love, and of our happiness ; and, finally, he read to 
 me in a low voice, and gradually, worn out with all the 
 excitement, I fell into a blissful sleep. 
 
 When I awoke he was still sitting beside me, and his 
 dear face wore an expression I have never seen on a 
 human face before: it showed everything of love and 
 devotion, and even a reverent awe. 
 
 " Guinevere," he whispered, " while you have slept I 
 have been realizing the value of things. Darling, I do 
 not think I ever knew before how much I loved you. 
 And now, for this little while, I am going to take every 
 possible shadow out of your life. I want you to prom- 
 ise me that you will never let your thoughts go on 
 ahead. I want you to be as happy as the day is long." 
 
 " Indeed, I promise, Hugh." 
 
 Then we went up the stairs together to dress for 
 dinner, and it seemed as if I must have always lived 
 there all felt so natural and at peace. 
 
 After dinner, Letitia and Hugh and I sat in the 
 morning-room, because there is a piano in it, and I 
 wanted to play to them. I felt like that I wanted to 
 give forth all the thankfulness of my soul in beautiful 
 sound. And they both sat in comfortable chairs and 
 listened in relaxed rest and enjoyment. 
 
 I made the music tell them of all my thoughts, and 
 once, when I glanced over at Letitia, I saw that her 
 usually bright, merry eyes were gazing into distance 
 and full of a wistful light. What was she thinking of, 
 I wonder? Was she feeling that, whatever the pain it 
 might bring, love like Hugh and I have for each other 
 was worth all the triumphs of the world? Poor, dear 
 Letitia ! But each one must dree his own weird. 
 Hugh's lids were closed, and a look of perfect content 
 
 188
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 was on his face. No three people could be happier 
 together than we three are. 
 
 When I was following my sister out of the room, on 
 the way to bed, Hugh detained me for a second. 
 
 " My sweet," he said. " Now you must sleep and 
 rest completely and grow strong here in my house; 
 and remember, every slightest thing is to be as you wish, 
 Guinevere. Do you understand exactly what I mean, 
 darling child? " 
 
 A great, strange quiver came over me, and I conic* 
 not meet his eyes, as I answered: 
 
 " Yes, Hugh." 
 
 Then, with perfect homage, he bent and kissed my 
 hand. 
 
 " My love," he said, " good night." 
 
 And I left him standing by the fire. 
 
 We have been here a whole week, and it seems that I 
 am perfectly well now, wooed back into health and vigor 
 by Hugh's tenderest devotion. How he must love me! 
 Not once during this whole time have I ever seen more 
 than a momentary gleam of passion in his eyes. Every 
 action, every thought has been of what is best for me; 
 not to tire me, not to weary me ; what I must eat, when 
 I must rest, how can he best strengthen and amuse me. 
 
 We have taken little walks in the park longer ones 
 each day and we have examined every corner of the 
 garden and talked of my wishes for this mass of color 
 or that in the coming flowers just as though I shall 
 live here always and it is all my own. 
 
 He has been out hunting only once and he loves 
 hunting in an ordinary way. His collar-bone is not 
 firm yet, he says! But I know that is not the reason. 
 
 189
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 And one thing has touched me most of all. When Par- 
 ton came into my room on the morning after we ar- 
 rived, she brought a large basket, from which emerged 
 a strange sound; and when she opened the lid out 
 sprang my own Petrov! 
 
 Then when I came down and thanked Hugh, he said, 
 laughing : 
 
 " My Guinevere is nothing but a darling little old 
 maid, and, I knew, would not be happy without her 
 cat!" 
 
 But how dear of him it was, even to think of this 
 small completion to my contentment. 
 
 Letitia is really having more or less of a rest-cure, 
 and leaves us alone while she sleeps in her room until 
 late in the day. And this afternoon that nice, frank, 
 fresh young Mr. Northey who came with us to 
 Maidenhead is arriving for a week or so. Hugh is 
 going to mount him on some of his hunters, since he is 
 not riding much himself. 
 
 I feel so gay, and my cheeks have grown almost pink. 
 
 When I went down to tea, Mr. Northey had arrived 
 and was conversing with Letitia, and a sprightly air 
 Was over everything. We had the merriest possible 
 time, and I was joyous, and laughed, and made little 
 sallies quite beyond my wont ; and after it, I went with 
 Hugh into his sitting-room to look for a book, and as 
 I was bending down to get it out of the book-case, he 
 suddenly seized me in his arms, while his eyes looked 
 as they had looked on the river in the moonlight. 
 
 " Ah ! " he said and that was all. But his lips 
 almost burned my lips, and my heart suddenly began 
 to beat wildly with I know not what, and I struggled 
 
 190
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 away from him but it was not from fear. Then I 
 ran like a fawn, bounding lightly over a footstool that 
 was near, and out of the door and up to my room, 
 while his voice called after me in anxiety: 
 
 " Guinevere ! " 
 
 I cannot imagine what made me do this human na- 
 ture is very strange. I could not make myself go down 
 again, but sat crouching by my fire in some nameless 
 intense excitement, until Parton came in, when the 
 dressing-gong sounded. 
 
 I put on my white and silver gown, with the red rose 
 stuck in my hair, as for the Whitsuntide dance last 
 year; and every emotion which has been slumbering 
 during this week of peace and convalescence seemed to 
 be awakening in my heart. 
 
 Letitia came to fetch me to go down the stairs. She, 
 too, was festively attired, and she laughed as she linked 
 her arm in mine, while she looked critically at me and 
 said: 
 
 " How bright your eyes are to-night, Guinevere ! " 
 
 At dinner my mood was even more sparkling than it 
 had been at tea, and I was conscious that my cheeks 
 were burning and my hands as cold as ice. 
 
 Hugh and Mr. Northey had both put on their even- 
 ing hunt coats, we found, when we got to the morning- 
 room, where they were awaiting us. We had joked 
 at tea about the " party " we meant to have. 
 
 Hugh's eyes sought mine in anxious, questioning 
 pleading. I knew he was trying to fathom if I was 
 angry with him; and that unknown and hitherto un- 
 dreamed-of feminine something in me would not let me 
 give him the satisfaction of seeing that I was not. And 
 all through dinner I would not meet his glance. I 
 look back now at my behavior and wonder at myself. 
 
 191
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 It was all primitive instinct, the instinct which made 
 the Swift One in Jack London's wonderful " Before 
 Adam " rush through the trees. Afterwards, I played 
 the piano when Letitia and I were alone, waiting for the 
 other two ; and they were such mad things which came 
 to my finger-tips. And I saw Letitia's eyes fixed upon 
 me with a strange, comprehensive look, as much as to 
 say, " I understand you, Guinevere, even if you do not 
 understand yourself." And this quieted me a little. 
 
 When the two men did join us, Letitia drew Mr. 
 Northey over to talk to her, and Hugh came and leaned 
 upon the piano; and his face was full of suppressed 
 emotion not altogether pain. 
 
 " May I show Mr. Northey the pictures in the 
 saloon, Hugh? " Letitia asked suddenly. " We can 
 turn on the lights as we go through, if they are not 
 lit." And she rose and went toward the door, followed 
 by both of the men. 
 
 I played on all the time, my heart beating now to 
 suffocation almost; and in a minute or two Hugh re- 
 turned and, shutting the door after him, came across 
 the room. 
 
 He stood beside the piano silently, looking at me 
 with all his soul in his eyes, and my fingers would obey 
 me no longer, but convulsively clasped together in my 
 lap. 
 
 " Guinevere " Hugh said breathlessly ; and then 
 again, " Guinevere ? " 
 
 And .something in me stronger than all other things 
 that have ever touched my life made me rise and hold 
 out my arms to him.
 
 CHAPTER XVIII 
 
 X WONDER if angels in heaven can be any hap- 
 pier than Hugh and I are. The souls of 
 Adam and Eve in Paradise could not have 
 been more divinely exalted or more com- 
 pletely necessary to each other. 
 
 As the days pass, everything takes on a fresh mean- 
 ing. The whole essence of life is being revealed to me 
 through love and My Lover. We have been too en- 
 gaged with each other to take in any outside circum- 
 stance, though, vaguely and gladly, we have observed 
 that Mr. Northey has amused Letitia, who has not been 
 bored. We four, for a whole fortnight, have laughed 
 and ridden, and been gay together, and all has gone 
 weU. 
 
 Hugh and I garden in the morning or what we 
 call gardening, which is walking round every separate 
 bed and site and greenhouse, and discussing how we can 
 improve this and that. And then we have a canter in 
 the park and Corlston Chase, he on Caesar and I on 
 Jenny Wren. Or we wander all over the house, if it 
 pours with rain, and I suggest touches here and there, 
 though it would be difficult to make it more perfect. 
 And I am getting to know every one of Hugh's idiosyn- 
 crasies ; his dear little selfishnesses his fads his 
 generosity and his point of view. He is -masterful 
 and tender with me, making me always do what he 
 wants and then asking me if it isn't what I want and 
 of course it always is ! 
 
 193
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 When Humphrey, without consulting my wishes, or- 
 dered me to do a thing, I obeyed in the beginning from 
 sheer fear, and afterward for peace; though always 
 resentfully or rebelliously. But I adore it when Hugh 
 orders me about; it gives the exquisite sense of posses- 
 sion, though I feel as if I wished to do the very thing 
 he is commanding, on my own account. Hugh knows 
 this, and craftily plays upon my emotions over it, to 
 our mutual enchantment. He has such dear ways! 
 And after being a frozen stone, and cold as ice for 
 thirty-one years, it is so unspeakably divine to allow 
 myself to melt and revel in warmth and affection. He 
 takes the deepest interest in everything about me 
 the least detail of my clothes, even. He seems to want 
 to share with me to the last thoughts of our souls. And 
 every day we read some beautiful book together, spend- 
 ing whole hours in the library or his sitting-room, get- 
 ting down this one and that, and finding out pet pages 
 in it ; and we discuss all the points, and give each other 
 fresh views. Then he tells me of his duties in the 
 county, and among his people, and how he thinks they 
 ought to be fulfilled; and of the duties of Englishmen 
 generally each one to justify his place and complete 
 a noble whole. And we discuss problems of ethics, and 
 our views upon principles of life and the meaning of 
 things. It seems, as Hugh says, that we have each 
 provided the igniting spark for the other's stored 
 thoughts, and our perfect sympathy together brings 
 them forth. 
 
 And nothing could be more refined and careful and 
 protective than is his attitude to me before people 
 the servants, and even Letitia and Mr. Northey. Not 
 by a word or look does he suggest anything but re- 
 spectful friendship. There is a great deal in breeding; 
 
 194
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 it makes all the small things of life between two people 
 move without jars. I thought of this definition of a 
 gentleman the other morning, when something excep- 
 tional cropped up. " What is it that makes a man a 
 gentleman? It is having that instinctive knowledge of 
 correct behavior and high honor which does not even 
 require an unwritten law as a guide." It could hardly 
 be more exemplified than it is in Hugh. 
 
 Letitia and I talk together in her room at night 
 sometimes ; it seems almost as if she were changing, too, 
 in this atmosphere of peace and love. She says she 
 never really knew Hugh before, although they have 
 been friends for ten years, and that none of her friends 
 would recognize him as he is with us now. 
 
 " I said long ago that you were a witch, Guinevere," 
 she said. " Do you remember? I said it in play, but 
 it is true, it would seem, because you have altered and 
 brought out and completed this man, who is thirty-six 
 years old, and has been spoilt and worshipped by 
 women, ruled men, and hunted wild beasts all his life ! " 
 
 I laughed my contentment. 
 
 " I really believe you were made for one another, 
 and that neither of you will ever love any one else," 
 she went on meditatively. " It is a thousand pities, in 
 a case like this, that you cannot marry each other." 
 
 I felt a quiver of pain, the first one that has come. 
 ! Letitia saw it, and added hurriedly: 
 
 " Well, never mind, pet. After all, you are going to 
 be happy for three months now, at least -and that 
 is more than most women get out of life." 
 
 My will reasserted itself and banished the pain. 
 
 " Gerald Northey is the best tonic I have had for 
 years," Letitia continued. " He completes my rest- 
 cure. He is as fresh as new-mown hay, and he thinks 
 
 195
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I am such an angel that, of course, I have to be one. 
 This charming time we are having will set me up for 
 the whole season. Such a mercy his not coming to 
 London often, too! I can keep him as a sort of out- 
 door, thoroughly healthy pastime, perhaps for two or 
 three years. I won't let the others even see him they 
 would tarnish him at once." 
 
 I thought how true this was, and how strong Hugh 
 must be really, not to have become irreclaimably tar- 
 nished after receiving their incense for over ten years. 
 
 I am not allowed to go and see what is happening at 
 Redwood. Hugh rides over and consults with Harting- 
 ton every few days. It appears the moat cannot pos- 
 sibly be finished for another fortnight at least. They 
 are discovering wonderful things in their draggings, 
 among them in the dry mud at the side a skeleton by 
 the wall just under the west window of the turret, and 
 some links of chain near. Could this be the poor Cava- 
 lier? It was never understood what eventually became 
 of him ; he remained one of those mysteries like Konigs- 
 marck was for so many years, until that hapless lover's 
 body was discovered buried beneath the very threshold 
 his unhappy Sophia was constantly obliged to pass 
 over a fiendish irony which Humphrey, I remember, 
 chuckled at when, a long time ago, he happened to read 
 this in a book. The Bohun spirit would enjoy situa- 
 tions like that. It is there in Humphrey and my son 
 probably as strong as ever, after all these hundreds of 
 years. 
 
 Dear old Doctor Burnley came to see me this morn- 
 ing, and said he was completely taken off his feet with 
 surprise at my appearance. I was growing as robust 
 as my sister, and looked like a blooming girl. 
 
 " How right you were, doctor, to insist upon her 
 196
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 coming up here, weren't you? " Letitia said innocently. 
 " I shall tell the General how clever and sensible you 
 have been with Mrs. Bohun." 
 
 And the doctor smiled, well pleased to accept this 
 burden of praise. 
 
 Hugh has had a piano moved into his own sitting- 
 room, because after tea one of his supreme pleasures 
 is for me to play to him while he sits in a big chair 
 near. He does not doze, like Humphrey ; he listens to 
 every note, and we go together into the most exquisite 
 dreamlands. And when I have finished we sit on the 
 sofa, side by side, and he reads to me, and although 
 we could both say all Rossetti's Sonnets by heart, we 
 read those often, because now we know what every one 
 of them means. 
 
 One afternoon he had a fall while trying a new horse 
 over a hurdle; he was not hurt really, but his temples 
 ached a little, and I made him lie on the sofa and put 
 his dear head on my breast while I held and petted and 
 caressed him as though he had been a tired baby Oh ! 
 the exquisite tenderness of that memory. 
 
 Hugh has had my photographs framed in a case 
 which he keeps locked. He has taken some more of me, 
 too, and they are wonderfully like. We developed them 
 ourselves in his dark room, and had such fun over H, 
 and made such a mess. The best of all is a large full 
 plate of me absolutely comfortable on the sofa, reading, 
 and it shows the panelling of the room and one of the 
 Van der Veldes as a background. 
 
 " I love this one most, darling," Hugh said when we 
 first printed it. " I shall always look at it when we 
 have to be separated. It seems exactly as if you must 
 be really my wife in it lying there so at rest upon 
 your sofa in my room." 
 
 197
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I thrilled. 
 
 " I never think of you as anything else but that, 
 sweetheart, you know." And he held my face in his 
 hands and looked with the purest reverence down into 
 my eyes. " And I am a great deal more than a lover 
 now, am I not, Guinevere ? " 
 
 " You are everything, Hugh the whole of my life. 
 It is simply ridiculous and meaningless to suppose I 
 could ever, or have ever belonged to any one else. I 
 had no more choice about marrying Humphrey than a 
 baby would have had. I hated the idea always, and 
 had not the faintest notion what marriage meant, in 
 any case. And it is only by law that I am bound to 
 him still as a slave, before the world there is no 
 marriage between us ; there has not been for nearly ten 
 years. I believe he would be very glad to get rid of 
 me if it were * the thing to do.' But he would kill me 
 without a moment's hesitation if he knew that I had a 
 lover he has often told me he would. He has not 
 the slightest sense of justice ; he would kill me to avenge 
 the Bohun vanity that is all." 
 
 Hugh's eyes grew black and fierce. 
 
 " Oh ! the cruelty of it ! " he said. " And yet, now 
 could the law be altered to fit all cases ? " Then he 
 went on in his just, even way: " To have no marriage 
 law, or divorces like the Americans have, would bring 
 chaos to England, I suppose." 
 
 " Hugh," I said, " I am certain that everything 
 which happens to us is the result of our own action in 
 this life or some other. Many of the things we suffer 
 we have actually drawn to ourselves in this existence 
 before we knew or realized the law of cause and effect. 
 I do not feel the least a sinner in having you for my 
 dear lover, circumstances being as they are, but I 
 
 198
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 should feel one if I were hurting even Humphrey, whom 
 I almost hate, or Algernon, whom I almost love." 
 
 " Dear little girl reasoning it all out ! " Hugh 
 smiled tenderly. " I am different to you. I have not 
 reasoned anything; I have just loved you without car- 
 ing or counting any cost except to you, Beloved 
 One. I will always think of costs for you. When the 
 General comes back " 
 
 But I put my hand over his mouth gently. 
 
 " Hush ! " I said. " We are not going to think or 
 talk of that yet. He has not been gone four weeks, 
 and he does not return until June. Please, let us for- 
 get that there is any time after that or, rather, I 
 mean to live until then as if joy was going on forever. 
 You told me to, Hugh." 
 
 " Yes, this is much the best way," he agreed. " We 
 will both stop our thoughts if they wander to any spec- 
 ulations. Now, come out and see the new vine being 
 put in, where the old one died. We shall have splendid 
 grapes on it in two years' time." 
 
 Letitia and I have been at Minton Dremont for over 
 four weeks, and the moat at Redwood is not finished 
 yet; and Letitia proposed we should go up to London 
 in a few days and go to the theatres. It is early 
 March now, and most people are away abroad. Her 
 friends, at all events, are not there en bande, and will 
 not be so likely to concern themselves at our doings. 
 
 " Langthorpe will be back from Monte Carlo," Le- 
 titia said, " and I want to see the old boy for a little. 
 There are several boring dinners I give, too, at this 
 time of the year. It saves my duties in the season." 
 
 So we all motored up to London, leaving Petrov 
 199
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 safely under the housekeeper's charge at Minton Dre- 
 mont. 
 
 My heart was heavy at leaving, although I should 
 still see my lover every day, probably. But nothing 
 could be so perfect as being at peace in his own house. 
 Hugh was very depressed, too, the last evening. He 
 and I sat alone in his sitting-room Mr. Northey had 
 gone, and Letitia retired early after dinner. 
 
 Hugh would not even let me play to him. He could 
 not bear me to be so far away, and we sat like two 
 children before the fire on the sofa, with arms en- 
 twined. 
 
 " There is something about the spring-time, with 
 everything beginning to grow, which affects one 
 strangely, does it not, Guinevere? " Hugh said. " The 
 buds are all swollen in the hedges, ready to burst forth 
 soon, and the infant lambs are quite frolicsome. Na- 
 ture has the strongest suggestion in everything, has 
 she not, darling? It means more than ever to me this 
 year. Do you feel it, too ? " 
 
 A faint shiver went through me. 
 
 " I could understand it all, Hugh," I whispered. " It 
 is in my temperament to feel those things ; but the 
 spring has always made me sad, hitherto." And I nes- 
 tled closer to him. " It was at the end of March when 
 I first saw Humphrey Fraulein Strauss and I were 
 having tea in the schoolroom, and my father brought 
 him in. He seemed such a great, powerful man, tower- 
 ing above papa I was afraid of him directly. You 
 see, I was quite a child then, with my hair in a pigtail, 
 although I would be seventeen in June. Ah ! it was all 
 horrible. And we were married just a few weeks after- 
 ward, in May, a month before my birthday ; and Alger- 
 non was born in the beginning of the following March. 
 
 200
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 That was fourteen years ago last week, the sixth of 
 March. Oh ! I hate to remember what the spring seemed 
 to mean. I was so horribly ill, and so frightened. I 
 had none of the mother's feelings I ought to have had; 
 the whole thing was a nightmare of terror and pain. 
 Letitia and I were not the friends we are now, in those 
 days, and there were only Humphrey's stern, robust 
 sisters instructing me in my duties, and making me get 
 up too soon." 
 
 Hugh held me very tightly, and the fierce light I 
 know so well grew again in his dear eyes. 
 
 " How hideously cruel ! " he said. " The ways of 
 men are perfectly incredible, aren't they, darling? 
 And so that is all they have made you think of the 
 spring-time! No wonder you hate it, and shrink from 
 understanding those mysterious longing emotions to- 
 ward reproduction it provokes. Ah! if you really be- 
 longed to me, how differently I would teach you to 
 think of it, and how happy we should both be then ! " 
 
 I cannot say how deeply this moved me. I could not 
 make any reply, but Hugh understood very well. 
 
 " And to think that before I met you I, too, was 
 growing callous and cynical about most subjects," he 
 went on ; " and if a thing pleased me, I took it with 
 never a backward thought. You have been to me like 
 an angel, Guinevere, gilding everything with your pu- 
 rity and your sweetness. People have such a strange 
 idea of that word purity. For some it means a rigid, 
 barren asceticism, and consists merely in the crushing 
 out of all sex and all warmth. For me it means the 
 realization of sweet nature in its most elevated mood, 
 with truth and sympathy exalted and sanctified." 
 
 " Oh ! my dear and have I meant all that to you? " 
 I asked.. 
 
 201
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ** You have meant to me everything that a woman 
 can mean to a man, Guinevere, when she is his absolute 
 jnate." 
 
 And he folded me in his arms. 
 
 A new mood has come upon us in London a more 
 passionate one. The ridiculous music in the comic 
 operas even excites some sense. Hugh hates to be 
 away from me a second, and he says he feels jealous 
 when we go out and any one chances to look at me, or 
 the others of the party monopolize my attention. We 
 are generally six with Langthorpe and some nice 
 woman for him, and a young man for Letitia. 
 
 " If you were really my wife, Guinevere, I would not 
 be such an ass," Hugh said this morning, as we sat in 
 the heliotrope sitting-room. " I should be only pleased, 
 then, and proud of your success. But it is the fret of 
 acting indifference and never being certain I am going 
 to see you alone afterward. I feel jealous of every 
 person and every moment which keeps you from me 
 when we have this limited time together. How I wish 
 we had not left Minton Dremont ! " 
 
 "Alas! so do I." 
 
 " I want you to come for Easter, darling; it is the 
 fifteenth of April. My sister will be with me, and her 
 children ; and Algernon and Burbridge have such a high 
 old time together. On the Easter Tuesday I have asked 
 the same people down for the races and the ball as last 
 year. They are only going to stay until the end of 
 the week, but for that time, perhaps, you would rather 
 go back to Redwood. Letitia thought it would be ex- 
 tremely unwise not to have them for this festivity, as 
 they are always accustomed to come, and she suggested 
 
 202
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 to me last night that you should ask old Jack Kaird 
 and herself and Langthorpe, and any one of the Bohun 
 tribe you can think of, to Redwood, and we should com- 
 bine parties. What do you think of this plan? " 
 
 " It seems a good one," I agreed. " We must get 
 accustomed to the exigencies and obligations of life, 
 Hugh ; we cannot be in Paradise forever, can we ? 
 alas!" 
 
 So this was all arranged, and next week I go down 
 alone to Redwood for a few days, to settle things for 
 this party, and then move to Minton Dremont when 
 Algernon returns, which happens to be the Thursday 
 before Easter ; and there we shall stay until the Tues- 
 day morning, with Lady Morvaine, going back to Red- 
 wood to be in time to receive Letitia and Langthorpe 
 and our four other guests. 
 
 But the joy can never be so great again as were 
 those short weeks of perfect freedom in Hugh's home, 
 with Letitia and Gerald Northey and my Lover and I 
 alone ! 
 
 14
 
 CHAPTER XIX 
 APRIL, 1906 
 
 last week in London was a strange one. 
 There occurred difficulties about my seeing 1 
 Hugh even with Letitia's kindest connivance. 
 One thing after another cropped up, and it 
 drove him nearly mad with the torment of it, so that 
 when it was possible to be alone with him, it seemed to 
 react upon him and produce a wild fit of passion 
 teaching me a new side of him. I am learning things in 
 my own nature, too, of which I did not dream. If one 
 loves a man with the whole of one's being of body and 
 soul as I love Hugh it is impossible to make com- 
 parisons in his moods, or decide that one prefers this 
 one or that. One accepts them all with tenderness and 
 comprehension growing in the understanding of them as 
 time goes on. I dare say there are some women who 
 rule men, and, so to speak, set the pace in everything 
 between them but I am not one of these. Hugh 
 leads always, though he loves me so he would invariably 
 consider what I wished. 
 
 Last night before I came down here to Redwood 
 we had an hour alone in Letitia's sitting-room, and 
 we talked of the strange, mighty on-rolling of passion, 
 and what a supreme master it is ; and Hugh picked up 
 our book of Rossetti's Sonnets which I had been com- 
 forting myself with before he came in, and he found the 
 fifty-seventh one, and read it to me aloud. 
 
 204
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " This is exactly like you, Guinevere," he said, " an 
 absolute portrait and what a triumph for me to 
 know, to all others, that * glass ' wil 1 turn ' ice to the 
 Moon.' But once or twice I have wondered, like the 
 poet in his last two lines: 
 
 Ah! who shall say she deems not loveliest 
 The hour of sisterly sweet hand-in-hand? 
 
 Tell me, is it so, Guinevere? " and his deep voice had a 
 wistful note in it, even a little anxious. 
 
 " Rossetti himself could not answer that question 
 with certainty, dear love," I said, " so how can I? 
 When passion is burning, it is one expression of the 
 same thing as when tenderness is hand in hand. Neither 
 would be complete without the other to contrast it with 
 at times. If we had only passion it would destroy 
 our love with flame, and if we had only tenderness it 
 would make it faint. It is because the balance is equal 
 that we are happy do not let us question about it." 
 
 But Hugh's eyes still looked wistful. 
 
 " I thought lately that perhaps my passion was 
 growing growing so that it might weary you. Tell 
 me I am restless Guinevere." 
 
 " You could never weary me, Hugh, whatever you 
 expressed. Turn those pages back to sonnet fifteen, 
 and you will see what we are, just as you told me in 
 Richmond Park the proof of what the old Brahman 
 said to you." 
 
 He found the place and read. Then he looked com- 
 forted. 
 
 " It is the gall of things," he said. " When I am 
 with you once more in tranquillity at Minton Dremont, 
 I shall be as I was before, darling." 
 
 205
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 But however he is, I adore him ! so of what use to 
 speculate? 
 
 It seems strange to be at Redwood Moat alone; but 
 it is quiet, and I can think of my Beloved. It is the 
 first time since we met on the eleventh of February, 
 until I came here on the ninth of April, that we have 
 not seen each other every day. I feel very solitary, but 
 not jarred as I would be were others present; and I sit 
 up alone in my turret room in the evening and dream 
 exquisite dreams of remembrance ! I go over every 
 single incident from our first meeting, and recall all my 
 own emotions and the expression of his. I picture 
 Hugh as he appeared this time last year, when I first 
 met him and I love to remember the change in him 
 there is now. I have only two more days by myself; 
 then Algernon comes and we move to Minton Dremont. 
 I do not care in the least if this is unconventional or 
 not Algernon will be perfectly enchanted, and so 
 shall I. But sweet as Lady Morvaine is, she is not Le- 
 titia, and a great deal more ceremony must be kept up. 
 There can be no more sitting in Hugh's sitting-room 
 alone with him in the evenings after dinner, when the 
 coffee has come. Though he says we can be together in 
 the late afternoons and his sister never comes into 
 his wing. My room, which I am going back to, has its 
 real approach from the gallery and the great stair- 
 case; but we never used that way, as we were so cozy, 
 we four Letitia and Gerald Northey and my lover 
 and I with just the morning-room for our drawing- 
 room, and the breakfast-room for our dining-room 
 close together next Hugh's wing. 
 
 Just now, as I sat here in front of the fire an owl 
 206
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 flew round the turret and made its peculiar, weird cry. 
 And a sudden, horrible, unaccountable fear came over 
 me fear of I could not say what, nor why I should 
 feel it. And, agitated, my thoughts would rush for- 
 ward to the recollection of the return of Humphrey 
 about the fifth of June. Mercifully, he will not be here 
 for my birthday, which is on the fourth, and Hugh is 
 coming with me to Eton to see Algernon. Lady Mor- 
 vaine will be there also, seeing her son. And next day 
 will be the end of joy. 
 
 I used the whole of my will to banish this remem- 
 brance. I resolutely made myself think of only pleas- 
 ant things, but it would return and every time the 
 owl's melancholy hoot was heard, fresh disquiet came to 
 me. 
 
 Suddenly voices seemed to whisper, " Live while you 
 can, poor fool ; the prison walls will close again," and it 
 seemed that just from under the west window there 
 came a pitiful groan, and then a fiendish laugh. I was 
 so horribly startled, I bounded to my feet, and there 
 sat Petrov, whom I had brought over from Minton 
 Dremont to-day, with his eyes one black pupil, and his 
 short velvet fur bristled on his back, standing before 
 the bedroom door in an attitude of terrified defence. 
 
 What could it mean? I was sick with a nameless 
 dread. What did Petrov see? Then I got out Hugh's 
 photographs one of our snapshots done of us to- 
 gether looking so happy and gay and another, a 
 cabinet-sized one of just his head, with his dear eyes 
 gazing out straight into mine and their message of 
 love comforted me, and brought back my nerve and 
 calm, and I turned and said aloud : " Whatever and 
 whoever you are, begone! I am protected by God and 
 true love," and after that the owl's worst cries had no 
 
 207
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 more effect upon me, and Petrov came back and purred 
 on my knee. But it is hateful to think that this must 
 be my home for the rest of my life. I must be strong 
 and rise superior to environment. Hugh's love must 
 surround me always. 
 
 The first thing Algernon exclaimed when he saw me 
 on the station platform was : " Oh ! mum, how well 
 you look. You have never been so jolly strong, and 
 not pasty ! " And this unconscious tribute to the re- 
 sult that happiness has brought to me pleased me. Al- 
 gernon himself, whom I had not seen since he went to 
 Eton in the autumn half, except when he came up to 
 wish his father farewell, is enormously grown; he is so 
 aggressive and noisy. He was quite glad to see me, and 
 tall for fourteen, as tall as I am, and wonderfully hand- 
 some, and he has acquired that delightful air of a man 
 of the world! I remember Bob had it; I expect Eton 
 gives it. His manners have improved, too, and are less 
 aggressive and noisy. He was quite glad to see me, and 
 asked every question about the horses and about the 
 cleaning of the moat which he would so have en- 
 joyed. 
 
 " Fancy their finding that jolly old skeleton," he 
 said. " What fun ! I expect it was the Cavalier 
 served him right, lurking round the Bohuns' house 
 but I wish he had been a Roundhead, don't you, mum? 
 I like the Cavaliers best; Roundheads were probably 
 mostly cads. Father is ashamed of that turn of the 
 family, though he says that is what has kept us owning 
 a shilling now ! " 
 
 He could hardly wait until we arrived in the court- 
 yard in his eagerness to rush to the stables, where I left 
 
 208
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 him with the stud groom in a seventh heaven of delight 
 to see the horses, and Snack and Pip, and hear of all 
 their doings. 
 
 I had not written to inform him we were going at 
 tea-time to Minton Dremont, so when he came presently 
 bounding up the turret stairs to my shrine I had this 
 piece of good news for him. 
 
 To be with Burbridge, who is two years older than 
 himself, and growing into a " swell " at Eton, was a 
 pure joy! 
 
 Petrov remembered my son, it would seem, for I 
 heard a faint hiss from under the table. And Algernon 
 exclaimed disgustedly: 
 
 " You've still got that horrid beast, mother ! I hoped 
 he'd been caught in a trap before now." 
 
 I did not answer him ; there was no use. I only told 
 him to go and get ready to start. 
 
 " What a mercy father is away, isn't it? " he said, 
 as he went off through my room. " He'd never have 
 consented to turn out of this dungeon to go and have 
 some fun at Minton Dremont with Sir Hugh. I wish 
 he'd stay away for all the summer holidays, too, don't 
 you? " 
 
 Algernon is like the east wind a great wonderful 
 thing, shaking the trees and tossing the waves while 
 the sky is cloudless, icy blue, and the sun glares, but 
 hardly warms. He is a strong, magnificent animal 
 creature, but if he has any soul I have not yet seen 
 peeps of it. 
 
 I felt rasped I can explain it in no other way ; he 
 and his father always make me feel as though I had 
 been out in the east wind, and I was horribly conscious 
 of it now. 
 
 With this element in our party, it did not seem there 
 209
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 would be so much sweet quiet at Minton Dremont as 
 there had been. 
 
 Lady Morvaine greeted us most kindly, and we had 
 tea in the saloon, with the three young people down for 
 this first day. 
 
 " To-morrow, they will be much happier all together 
 in the old schoolroom," Lady Morvaine said, " and 
 Mrs. Howitt (the housekeeper) to pour out for them; 
 my two have known her since they were born, and she 
 spoils them terribly." 
 
 I understand Hugh so well now I can read his every 
 expression and generally fathom his thoughts, and I 
 could see that he was using control to be friendly and 
 casual. His eyes had blazed with joy when he came in 
 and found us there, and I knew he was restive until the 
 moment should come when he and I could be alone 
 again. Lady Morvaine took me up to my room after 
 tea, in her kind, gentle way, and remained talking 
 some time, and there left me, saying I might wish to 
 rest or write letters until dinner ; and ten minutes after- 
 ward I was softly going down the stairs which lead to 
 Hugh's sitting-room, where I found him standing in 
 rigid impatience by the fireplace. 
 
 Oh ! the joy to be once more in his arms ! 
 
 " How unspeakable these days have been, Guine- 
 vere ! " he said presently, when we sat upon the sofa. 
 " One long ache and now the restrictions ! I am 
 irritated even with Adelaide, who is one of the best souls 
 in the world ! " 
 
 " We are perfect geese, Hugh. I believe we should 
 like to be on a desert island all alone." 
 
 " No ; but we should like to be married and human, 
 and always together naturally, as we ought to be, dar- 
 ling, that is all," and he stroked my hair. 
 
 210
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 It was some little while before I could get him to 
 be soothed and tranquil and happy as we used to be in 
 this room; but by the time I went to dress for dinner, 
 all the atmosphere was sweetness again. 
 
 " Darling," he said, linking his arm in mine in dear, 
 possessive familiarity, as we walked toward the door, 
 " we have got to go round and look at every one of our 
 plantings and arrangings to-morrow morning. We have 
 been away from them for over a month, and must see 
 how they are getting on." 
 
 Ah, me! I am indeed content and at home in the 
 house of my Beloved. 
 
 The swift days pass; one settles down to changes if 
 they are not altogether' distasteful, and we are now 
 accustomed to the extra strain of necessary manreu- 
 vrings to be alone that the absence of Letitia and the 
 presence of others enforce, and we contrive not to be 
 separated for long at a time. It is even an excitement, 
 I think, and causes an extra fillip to joy when we know 
 we have a clear hour in front of us. Hugh, however, 
 is not of this opinion, and I often see impatience on his 
 face. He has ordered and ruled everything to his will 
 always, and cannot stand the slightest check. To-mor- 
 row Tuesday Algernon and I go back to Redwood 
 Moat again, alas ! and Hugh's party come. He is fum- 
 ing at this more as each day goes by. But in spite of 
 these things we have been divinely happy. 
 
 This afternoon, while Lady Morvaine and I were 
 alone Hugh being out riding with the children just 
 before tea she talked to me in a strain she had not 
 done before. She is a gentle, reserved woman, but I 
 believe is very attached to me. I do not think she has 
 
 211
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the slightest idea her brother loves me so much but I 
 am not absolutely sure. If I could be, it would settle a 
 matter in my mind. 
 
 " We are all so very fond of this place," she began 
 by saying. " My younger sister, Lily Forrester, whom 
 you have not met yet, I think, and Hugh and I ; we have 
 always loved it much better than Brasdale, the northern 
 property. The house there was burnt down when we 
 were children, and, in any case, the smoke of the town 
 is growing too near, it has spread so. We all do wish 
 Hugh would marry ; it is a thousand pities, isn't it, that 
 he does not? " 
 
 I said yes, that it was, as well as I could, and she 
 went on: 
 
 " Victor Dremont and his children are the most hope- 
 less people; every time we remember that it must all 
 go to them if Hugh does not have a son, it hurts. You 
 can feel for us, I am sure, with your own splendid boy, 
 dear Mrs. Bohun." 
 
 I tried to look sympathetic, but I really could not 
 speak it scorched me, in to my soul. She continued 
 in this way, lamenting and recounting to me family his- 
 tories until I felt icy cold. It touched me, her pride in 
 this place and her ancestors and her brother and I 
 stood between her wishes and their accomplishment. 
 The thought brought intense pain. 
 
 Presently the rosy outdoor party of four burst into 
 the room we were in the saloon the boys glowing 
 with health and vigorous life, and Hugh looking almost 
 one of them, so strong and splendid is he. And little 
 Lady Adela, charming tomboy that she is, with cherry 
 lips and flaming cheeks, seated herself upon a low stool 
 and put her head against my knee. 
 
 " Did you ever see such a contrast as Mrs. Bohun is
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 to Adela ? " Lord Burbridge said. " You look so aw- 
 fully pale," he went on, turning to me. " I do wish 
 you had been out with us on Jenny Wren in this jolly 
 wind." 
 
 Hugh's eyes were fixed upon me with troubled, ques- 
 tioning anxiety, and I dared not meet his glance. 
 
 I made myself talk at tea, when the children left us, 
 and Lady Morvaine, on the plea of writing letters, soon 
 quitted the room. 
 
 " What is it, darling? " Hugh asked anxiously, when 
 we were alone. " Your little face is a white rose again, 
 as it used to be." 
 
 " Nothing," I said, " Hugh," and I tried to laugh 
 and be ordinary ; but he was not to be deceived. 
 
 " Come and sit in my room," he commanded. " I am 
 miserable enough on this our last day." 
 
 So we went through the morning-room and the ante- 
 chamber and came to his sitting-room. 
 
 " Now tell me all about it every single thing, 
 Guinevere," he ordered fondly, pushing me into a big 
 chair and kneeling down beside me. " Something has 
 happened to trouble my sweetheart, and she has to be 
 comforted and petted, and made to confess." 
 
 But I could not tell him, and tried to divert his 
 thoughts, but without success ; and at last he grew hor-' 
 ribly worried and impatient. 
 
 " It is something Adelaide has said to you, I am 
 certain of it. Guinevere, darling, for God's sake do not 
 keep me thus in suspense." 
 
 " Hugh, I tell you, it is only your imagination," I 
 protested. "I am just the same; we spoke of your 
 northern property, and how the smoke was coming too 
 near from the town and, oh ! heaps of everyday 
 things."
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " And Adelaide said it was a frightful pity I did not 
 marry. Now I know what it is ! " and he laughed 
 shortly. " I wish to goodness my family would leave 
 me alone. I am my own master, surely, and can do 
 what I please. Guinevere, confess immediately that 
 is what upset you, and made this darling little face so 
 white. Well, I shall kiss it as a punishment until it 
 looks like Adela's. Darling, sweet goosie! Do you 
 think such ideas ever enter my head? " 
 
 " No, Hugh," I told him, " I am sure they do not ; 
 but that does not prevent the facts from hitting one 
 and I love you so, I cannot help thinking of all aspects 
 that might be for your good." 
 
 His face, from expressing fondest love, grew stern. 
 
 " No woman shall judge for me," he said. " I will 
 decide these things of what is best for me, myself. You 
 belong to me and I belong to you, and the bond shall 
 never be broken by me you had better realize that." 
 
 Tears sprang to my eyes at the harshness of his voice, 
 though the words comforted me ; and when he saw this, 
 he bent forward and clasped me in his arms and rained 
 caresses upon me and tender words of love. So that at 
 last I was comforted and peace was restored. 
 
 I must banish these thoughts, as I have banished the 
 one of Humphrey's return. But as I went up to dress 
 it seemed the same voices as at Redwood Moat whis- 
 pered to me on the stairs : 
 
 " Live, poor fool, while you can the prison walls 
 will close again," and I shivered with cold. 
 
 When I entered the bright chintz-flowered room I 
 shook myself and realized it was all imagination, and I 
 did not permit any shadows to spoil the perfect union 
 and happiness of this our last evening at Minton Dre- 
 mont.
 
 CHAPTER XX 
 
 HADY MORVAINE also left Minton Dremont 
 to-day at the same time that we did 
 and she has asked Algernon to go and spend 
 the rest of his holidays with them up in 
 Cheshire when our races here will be over, at the end 
 of the week. I am so glad of this, as it will be such a 
 great pleasure to him. I had been wondering what I 
 ought to do with him. Letitia had asked us to go and 
 stay with her, but Algernon did not look forward to 
 that. Now I can go alone, knowing he will be only 
 about twenty miles off, in safe and agreeable company. 
 I have had two brief letters from Humphrey, filled with 
 himself and his doings. I have written to him dutifully 
 every fortnight. It is a good thing the moat has been 
 cleared out, he said in his last epistle, and it was 
 " deuced kind " of Hugh Dremont to put up Letitia 
 and me. He supposed he had had a party for us. Le- 
 titia had written to him, telling him her view of the 
 whole thing, and with her inimitable tact and knowledge 
 of manipulating affairs, she had made him accept every- 
 thing without being irritated, as I feared he would be. 
 I had not said one word to deceive him, and yet, as I 
 read his letter just now, a sense of discomfort came 
 upon me. I absolutely loathe having to dissimulate in 
 any way. This is something else I must banish from 
 my thoughts, though. Ah ! me. 
 
 My party arrived this afternoon, and I have told 
 dear old S?r John Kaird he must take Humphrey's 
 place and act host for me with Algernon.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Letitia is in high spirits. She did not motor, for a 
 wonder, but came down in the train with a number of 
 the guests going on to Minton Dremont, and she is full 
 of their ways and doings. 
 
 " Winnie " is still determined to secure Hugh, and 
 one or two of the others have also put forward claims 
 for the post of favorite. A shuffling season has taken 
 place, it would seem, since last year, and several of 
 them are on the lookout for new partners to amuse 
 themselves with! Letitia caught sight of my face as 
 she recounted to me all this in her room before dressing 
 for dinner, and she went into a fit of laughter. 
 
 " Yes, it is comic, isn't it, Guinevere? " she said. " I 
 never had really looked at us all from a detached point 
 of view until I was awakened by your and Hugh's af- 
 fections for each other. Now it all seems frightfully 
 funny. I wonder if they will appear different to Hugh, 
 also. It will be so amusing to watch. His temperament 
 is too impatient of control to stand anything he does 
 not like." 
 
 " Yes," I responded. " I do not feel very disturbed 
 about them." 
 
 Letitia laughed again softly. 
 
 " No, you need not be. I believe, in reality, you are 
 cleverer than any of them, in spite of your simplicity 
 and you have got quite good-looking, you know, 
 lately ; full of life, and so much less pale. Langthorpe 
 was only saying so just now; and if he notices the 
 change, it must be striking ! " Then 
 
 " Is not it a joy," she called, as I was leaving the 
 room, " to feel we need not mind a bit, even if we are 
 five minutes late for dinner ! " 
 
 How I should hate to know that every one was re- 
 joicing at my absence, as they are because Humphrey
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 is away even Hartington is vastly relieved, and has 
 conducted the arrangements for this little party in the 
 most admirable manner. 
 
 I felt quite gay at dinner. I had some kind of satis- 
 faction in my new-found sense of dignity and impor- 
 tance with the knowledge that no one would snub 
 me, or frown at me. I only wished Hugh were here to 
 see me in my new guise of a freewoman. 
 
 The four guests besides Letitia, Langthorpe, and 
 Sir John are quite nice, harmless people: one couple 
 Bohun cousins, and the other, old f riennds ; and no one 
 would have recognized Redwood Moat to-night, with 
 its light-hearted atmosphere. Algernon has enjoyed 
 himself immensely, he told me as he kissed me good 
 night. 
 
 The week has gone by, and it has developed yet an- 
 other fresh stage between Hugh and me. When we 
 met at the races, I could see he was ruffled about some- 
 thing there was a steely light in his blue eyes. 
 
 It was impossible to have any private conversation 
 with him, and although he seemed to be doing his duty 
 in the same way as he did it last year, it was unwill- 
 ingly. The day was cold, too, with a hateful wind, and 
 no one appeared to be enjoying it except my son. 
 Races to him are unalloyed happiness in any weather. 
 
 Our whole party was to dine at Minton Dremont in 
 the evening, and just before we began to dress for it, 
 Letitia came to my turret room. 
 
 " How cross Hugh looks ! doesn't he? " she remarked, 
 as she pushed the logs together. " I gathered from 
 Ermyntrude that they had all chaffed him after dinner 
 last night because, I suppose, he let out some sentiment 
 
 217
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 that we have heard him exploit lately, Guinevere, but 
 which none of them have ever known to proceed from 
 him and he grew nettled, and answered them sharply, 
 and Ada made one of her exquisitely cynical remarks. 
 How frightfully mad they would all be if they knew it 
 is your influence which has caused him to measure them 
 with a new measure ! " 
 
 It is such a strange feeling to meet one who is nearer 
 and dearer than any other on earth in company, where 
 the most casual aloof behavior is required! It gives a 
 sense of absolute unreality. I could not get over the 
 feeling that I was acting in a dream, and should wake 
 and find myself alone with Hugh, in perfect intimacy, 
 in his sitting-room. I could see he found it almost im- 
 possible to keep up his role. 
 
 We did not dance after dinner, but just sat about in 
 the saloon, so there was no chance to talk beyond a few 
 words. 
 
 " This is simply sickening ! I shall come over in the 
 morning and ask for Letitia," Hugh announced, as he 
 passed me once. 
 
 Then he had to go and talk to some one else before I 
 could answer. 
 
 I was almost glad when we left the strain was 
 growing too great. 
 
 Next morning, soon after ten, Caesar and his master 
 pranced into the courtyard. We had all only just fin- 
 ished breakfast, and were about in the hall. Letitia 
 had not yet appeared. 
 
 Hartington came forward and whispered that Sir 
 Hugh Dremont was outside, and had not dismounted, 
 but was asking how soon he could see Lady Lang- 
 thorpe, so I sent a message to tell him to come in and 
 wait until she came down. Which he knew very well
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 would not be for another hour. I told Hartington to 
 show him into the drawing-room, and then soon I got 
 rid of my guests and joined him. 
 
 He was like a horse champing his bit with impatience, 
 and his eyes were full of passionate love. 
 
 " I've simply bolted, darling. Got off before any of 
 them were down. I could not bear it another second," 
 he said. " They are boring me to death. I seem to 
 know beforehand exactly what they are all going to 
 say, and when Ada will be brilliant, and Winnie caress- 
 ing, and Ermyntrude vague. They all seem perfectly 
 artificial, and yet I suppose they are exactly as they 
 were before. It is I myself who have altered. Guine-' 
 vere tell me : you could not stand another day like 
 yesterday, either, darling? " and he stroked my hand 
 fondly. " It was ten times worse than London. There 
 we always used to have at least some hours together in 
 the twenty-four, but at the races and dinner it was one 
 long chafe with no prospect of relief." 
 
 " Hugh, we must control ourselves," I told him. 
 " Think ! if we fret at one day like this, how are we 
 ever going to get through the weeks which are com- 
 ing?" 
 
 " As soon as this infernal party goes," he informed 
 me, " I intend to motor up to Cheshire to stay with 
 Langthorpe and Letitia, and I understand my Guine- 
 vere is going there, too and when she leaves " 
 
 " She will have to come back here. It will be May 
 then, and there will be no excuse to stay away." 
 
 " Very well. I shall return also to Minton Dremont, 
 and I will have William down, whom I can really trust ; 
 and you can come for canters in Corlston Chase, and 
 into the park, and William can keep Jenny Wren in 
 the copse nearest to my yew hedge garden; and often 
 15 219
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 we could spend a happy afternoon together in my 
 sitting-room without a soul's knowing. There are all 
 sorts of beautiful corners in the park, too, which I 
 have not shown you yet, darling. May at least shall 
 be for our happiness leave it to me." 
 
 The idea of this comforted us, I think, a little, and 
 enabled us both to get through our duties. The Min- 
 ton Dremont party dined here at Redwood that night, 
 and I got some pleasure out of showing Hugh how well 
 I can play hostess when not suppressed and ignored by 
 my husband. 
 
 But the light in his dear blue eyes was still full of 
 unrest and passion, and Letitia said to me, when they 
 had all gone, that it would be perfectly impossible to 
 keep his affection for me hidden much longer, if he 
 was unable to hide his feelings more effectually. 
 
 " It is always the same," she exclaimed. " No mat- 
 ter how watchful the deus ex machlna is, one of the 
 actors always gives the thing away. Now, for Heaven's 
 sake, Guinevere, be like ice to-morrow night at the Hunt 
 ball!" 
 
 I tried to be, with the result that Hugh was angry 
 and reproachful when we did sit out a dance together. 
 He would not listen to reason, and, I saw, was jealous 
 of even dear old Sir John. 
 
 These are phases which love has to go through, I 
 suppose, when it is as great as ours, and separation 
 makes life a torment. 
 
 I am sitting alone in the gray dawn in the turret 
 chamber now, and I cannot keep my thoughts from 
 rushing ahead. In seven weeks Humphrey will have 
 returned when all meetings will be impossible. Alas ! 
 and alas ! what will happen then ? 
 
 Oh ! Spring, with your passionate youth, your rising
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 sap, your message of fulfilment to the earth, take pity 
 on two poor lovers, who may only sip at the cup of joy. 
 
 It is the first of May, and the visit to Letitia at her 
 Cheshire home has been all happiness. Very nearly as 
 perfect as our first days at Minton Dremont. And 
 Hugh, freed from chafing at barriers, has resumed his 
 dear tenderness and comradeship with me. Langthorpe 
 and Letitia do not bother us in the least, and we ride 
 and walk and motor about undisturbed. Sometimes we 
 go over to see Algernon at Lady Morvaine's, and Hugh 
 has stayed there for a couple of nights, to make every- 
 thing look natural ; and to-morrow Algernon and Bur- 
 bridge go back to Eton, and Hugh and I return to our 
 respective homes. 
 
 But underneath in me there is growing a strange 
 excitement, as though voices were saying always the 
 same thing : " Live, live, poor fool, while you may." 
 I cannot with all my will sometimes annihilate the re- 
 membrance that the days are flying, and soon there 
 must come the end, when the prison door will close 
 again. 
 
 Hugh has arranged everything for our meetings when 
 we go back he to Minton Dremont, and I to Red- 
 wood and we have all the lovely month of May before 
 us. I will try not to look ahead. 
 
 The hours fly either in unutterable happiness with 
 my Beloved under the greenwood tree, or creeping up 
 the yew-surrounded garden through the private door 
 to his sitting-room; or they lag, and burn and pass 
 in feverish impatience, waiting here at Redwood Moat
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 until the morrow comes and again we can be together. 
 It all has to be done with such caution and skill. But 
 I think fate has been kind to us, and only old William 
 has any idea of the hours his master and I spend alone 
 in each other's company. 
 
 Twice, upon one plea and another, Hugh has been 
 able to come and call upon me openly, and I have 
 played to him in the drawing-room, and we are growing 
 more intimate in soul every day. It seems that we 
 neither of us really live when apart. Passion and ten- 
 derness and all shades of emotion seem to be augment- 
 ing. Hugh has strange turns in his character. I get 
 glimpses of them, and I know they are the aspects 
 which people like Mrs. Dalison were able to appeal to. 
 Now that the unrest caused by the restrictions of 
 others' presence has been removed, he is always happ} r , 
 though, and sometimes so gay, like a boy, and some- 
 times, again, amusing and cynical. We cannot have 
 many books out in the May sunshine, but we talk and 
 never seem to tire of each other's conversation. 
 
 " You see, you have the delightful stored reflections 
 of long years of silence and loneliness to impart to me, 
 precious child," Hugh said yesterday, as we sat on the 
 bench old William has constructed for us in the copse. 
 " And all the wisdom and trained critical faculties 
 which you show me are a constant surprise and joy. 
 Fancy what it would have been like if we had grown up 
 together and learned all these things hand-in-hand ! " 
 
 " It could not have been more perfect than it is, 
 Hugh," I assured him. "I do not think there can be 
 two people on earth who are so absolutely one in 
 everything, of thought, point of view and desire, as we 
 are do you? " 
 
 " No; we never have a single jar; and if we were to
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 live together for a hundred years it would always be 
 the same. That is the agony of it that soon " 
 And then he stopped abruptly, and covered his eyes 
 with his hand. 
 
 I did not tell him that he must not look ahead, or 
 anything like that ; the time is getting too near to Hum- 
 phrey's return for us to be able to prevent his shadow 
 from falling upon us at moments. But Hugh always 
 speaks as if our blissful union were going on forever 
 he will talk of things of years to come, and say how 
 we shall plant this shrub here or there in the garden, 
 which, when it has grown, will make such and such an 
 effect to please me. He consults me about everything, 
 and talks of all his belongings as ours, in a way that 
 Humphrey has never done. I do not think, if we were 
 really married, he could be any different. 
 
 One of his greatest pleasures is to lie with his dear 
 head in my lap and to get me to stroke and caress his 
 hair. And he always tells me stories of his mother then. 
 She died only about eleven years ago, and he loved her 
 dearly. He is not going to have any Whitsuntide 
 party this summer, because Whitsunday falls upon the 
 third of June, and my birthday is on the fourth, and 
 we are going to spend it at Eton with Algernon. Le- 
 titia starts for Paris on the Saturday, and I am to go 
 up to Norfolk Street on the Wednesday and stay on 
 alone after she leaves, so as to meet Humphrey. I have 
 given Parton a holiday for that week, and Hugh and I 
 shall, no doubt, spend perfectly happy hours together, 
 for the whole of that interested set of his friends will 
 be away. 
 
 On the days when it has rained and I have not been 
 able to make any excuse to go out, I have sat up here 
 in my turret chamber and dreamed. And if it were not 
 
 223
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 for the shortness of our time still to be together, I 
 could be quite happy but anything that keeps us 
 apart now causes us both anguish. 
 
 Humphrey arrives at Southampton on Tuesday the 
 fifth of June, and will be in London at four o'clock in 
 the afternoon. Algernon and I are to meet him at the 
 station. And for a week after Hugh is going off to 
 Letitia in Paris. 
 
 To-morrow is our last day here. Oh! how I pray 
 that it may keep fine ! I am going up to Minton Dre- 
 mont openly in the morning " to see the gardens." 
 Hugh rode down and asked me yesterday before Har- 
 tington. And then I am to stay to lunch with the par- 
 son and his wife; and when they go I am to pretend I 
 am walking back across the park, but in reality I ex- 
 pect we shall spend most of the time in my Beloved's 
 sitting-room. Oh ! I cannot bear to think that the end 
 has nearly come. 
 
 There is a thunderstorm rolling up. How I hate it ! 
 And those voices that once before seemed to whisper 
 are near me to-night. I am sure this place is haunted, 
 and that in certain states of the atmosphere those poor, 
 unquiet spirits can make themselves felt and heard. 
 
 Oh! what are the days going to be like that hold no 
 chance of comfort? When Humphrey's rasping voice 
 giving me orders and recounting to me his success and 
 adventures is all that I shall hear! Petrov, come and 
 nestle up to the neck of your poor mistress and warm 
 her. For, even though the air is stifling, she is shiver- 
 ing with cold.
 
 CHAPTER XXI 
 
 PERFECTLY golden sun dawned for our last 
 day together at Minton Dremont. When I 
 looked out of the east window and saw the 
 glorious rays above Hugh's flag, my spirit 
 expanded with gladness. It seemed to me an omen of 
 happiness after the storm in the night, an omen that 
 meant that some day the sun would rise permanently 
 upon our lives and melt the remembrance of thunder 
 and lightning and weeping rain. 
 
 Hugh was waiting for me at the gate which leads to 
 the gardens from the avenue, and I got out of the 
 brougham and went with him there. All the planting 
 we arranged in February seems to be doing well, and it 
 was a joy to walk with my Beloved and examine them 
 all. He took extra pains, it would seem, not by the 
 faintest word to suggest that this was our last day; 
 we might have been a pair of married lovers returning 
 to our home, eager to see how things had grown in our 
 absence. Every minute incident and aspect of things 
 is indelibly graven upon my memory. I can shut my 
 eyes now and see the tones in the sky, the fresh 
 exquisite green of the trees the flowers and the great 
 lilac bushes ; I can feel the warmth of the sun and hear 
 the happy birds chirping their love-songs. 
 
 " Heart of me," Hugh said. " You have gilded and 
 sanctified my garden and my house, and nothing shall 
 ever be altered in it except as you may wish. It is now 
 our garden, Guinevere." 
 
 225
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 An infinite tenderness was between us, and we were 
 silent as we went through the wrought-iron gate into 
 the yew-surrounded lawn. Here we sat down upon the 
 marble bench in the arbor which looks out over the 
 park. 
 
 Then Hugh went back to the house and brought out 
 some of our pet books, and among them the " Sonnets 
 of Proteus " he had not read any of them before to 
 me. and he found some which pleased us both, but he 
 would not read those which were cynical and showed 
 how the love of the two passed away. 
 
 " They had not found the secret, Guinevere," he 
 said, " and they were not really together a whole soul, 
 as we are. Fate might part our bodies for a time, but 
 nothing can ever sever our souls, sweetheart, in this 
 world or the next." 
 
 The morning passed away thus in perfect happiness, 
 and then we went in to lunch with the old parson and 
 his wife. Of the afternoon I cannot write, it is too 
 sacred in its deep meaning to us both ; and as the even- 
 ing shadows began to fall Hugh walked with me back 
 through the park. There seemed an exaltation in us 
 that was not of earth, we spoke hardly at all, he came 
 with me into the courtyard at Redwood Moat, and into 
 the garden, and then through the turret door and up 
 to my shrine, and there we said a last good-bye, both 
 our eyes swimming with tears ; we were beyond the act- 
 ing that all was as it would ever be. The pitiful truth 
 had forced itself into prominence. To-day had been 
 the last day of perfect gladness and freedom we could 
 hope for at Minton Dremont, and ahead of us, after 
 the few days in London, yawned an abyss of difficulty 
 Humphrey standing guard. 
 
 " God keep you, my soul," Hugh whispered in an- 
 226
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 guish, and, turning, went toward the door ; but we could 
 not bear it, and rushed once more into each other's 
 arms. 
 
 Ah me ! these days in London have been good more 
 passionate as they always are than those at Minton 
 Dremont, but tender and sweet as well. We have spent 
 long hours in Kensington Gardens, and we have revis- 
 ited our original picnic's haunt in Richmond Park, and 
 laughed together at the memory of that first day, and 
 my fears. I have no fear now ever when I am with my 
 Beloved, his care of me never slackens or sleeps. 
 
 And to-morrow we motor down to Eton to spend my 
 birthday there and see all the festivities of the Fourth 
 of June. 
 
 Letitia left for Paris yesterday with last counsels to 
 me about Humphrey. 
 
 " Remember, Guinevere," she said. " You must curb 
 that foolishness in you which may make you feel a dis- 
 comfort with him. You have done nothing that you 
 yourself think wrong under the circumstances. If you 
 feel anything, it will be only the current of convention 
 still affecting you, and which you had better get rid 
 of; recollect that we thrashed out the point of right 
 and wrong in the beginning, and you came to your con- 
 clusions now have the courage to remain firm in 
 them." 
 
 " Yes," I returned, " I realize all that. I have not 
 the slightest regret or sense of anything but glory and 
 joy in having Hugh for my lover; there is only the 
 feeling that I loathe all pretence, I cannot say that I 
 will not have odious moments if I have to dissimulate." 
 
 '* Well, try not to be too serious," my sister pleaded, 
 227
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " you have another point to console yourself with. 
 Humphrey does not trust you blindly, or rely upon 
 your honor ; he does not trust you at all, in fact he 
 could not trust any one, that is why he is always being 
 deceived and tricked by the servants and Algernon and 
 every one he has to do with; he draws that upon him- 
 self by his attitude. He left you alone not because 
 he trusted you, but because he thinks you are such a 
 poor creature you would get no chance of amusing 
 yourself. He suspects every one all the time of the 
 lowest intentions. It is only by that extraordinary 
 blindness which seems to descend upon all jealous hus- 
 bands when there is really cause for their fears, that 
 he has not suspected Hugh." 
 
 " I will try to be sensible," I promised. 
 
 " Try also to be less timid and quiet ; talk to him at 
 meals, and be bright and gay as you are now with us 
 all. It will make things easier for you. To see you 
 together, it is as if it were a terrified child with a cross 
 uncle." 
 
 Then she laughed and kissed me ; but at the last mo- 
 ment when she was leaving, she came back and whis- 
 pered to me while she looked straight into my eyes : 
 
 " Guinevere, tell me, dearest, have I made up to you 
 for having helped to build your prison-house? Last 
 year when I first stayed at Redwood and it struck me 
 for the first time that I had done that, I felt perfectly 
 sick, and I determined then to help you to live and be 
 happy if I could." 
 
 And, though I am naturally undemonstrative, I 
 threw my arms round Letitia's neck and hugged her. 
 For, indeed, she has wiped out all old debts. 
 
 We spent Whitsunday in London my lover and I 
 and it rained ; but Hugh had arranged everything so 
 
 228
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 that we could be together for the entire day in safety, 
 and the weather did not matter. We were divinely 
 happy; a feverish passionate joy fills every instant of 
 the time knowing its hideously short duration. 
 
 And now as I look out upon the starlit sky just 
 lightening with the approach of dawn, I realize that 
 indeed the very last day has come, and when it is over 
 a new existence must begin. 
 
 Oh, God ! let the great laws which You made, and not 
 those which man made, work out in the end for our 
 happiness. 
 
 I had never been at Eton since I was a child ; I came 
 once when Bob was first there, and then I was too 
 young to feel the wonder and the glory of it. But each 
 aspect of it came upon my understanding to-day with 
 renewed interest. To see those quaint old buildings 
 and to feel their atmosphere of eternal youth and glori- 
 ous aims, the very air saturated with young enthusiasm 
 and generosity, and belief in the future. The grace of 
 a chivalry long passed away from other places still 
 clings to Eton an innate conservatism a realiza- 
 tion of the value of character, an abiding by an unwrit- 
 ten law made for the elevation of all courtly and 
 knightly things. Who, to see the flower of young Eng- 
 land on this their school's festival, brimming over with 
 life and pride and strength, could fail to experience a 
 deep emotion? It is the fashion in these days to abuse 
 all authors who depict the ways of the upper classes, 
 and call them snobs and tuft-hunters; ridicule is cast 
 on them by the critics with a bitter underneath venom. 
 I wonder why this is, and why those who write of this 
 class should arouse antagonism more than people like 
 
 229
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Jacobs who write stories of bargemen? Surely both 
 are interesting as human studies, and it is just accord- 
 ing to one's taste which interests one the most. It 
 always seems to me that the upper classes are more 
 agreeable than the middle, not in the least because of 
 actual virtues, but because for hundreds of years they 
 have had the advantage of time to polish all the graces 
 and refinements of life. Leisure to think and acquire 
 knowledge of beauty and chivalrous points of view, 
 leisure for their bodies to be exercised into finer shapes. 
 The whole thing is the obvious result of cause and ef- 
 fect, and it seems so silly when funny, angry Radicals 
 try to deny all this and thunder that all men are the 
 same and equal, a ridiculous contradiction to every 
 scientific investigation; as well say that the carthorse 
 is the same as the racehorse. Both are good, but yet 
 are quite different. They should go to Eton on the 
 Fourth of June and see those thousand and more of 
 England's youthful gentlemen and get in touch with 
 their points of view. Their dear, straight honesty, 
 their chivalry, their sense of what is and what is not 
 " cricket." And this spirit I expect is in all the great 
 public schools, but I only know Eton because of Bob 
 and Algernon. 
 
 In after life many of the boys may fall, for each indi- 
 vidual is not given strength of purpose, but at least 
 they have had a glorious chance. For me it seems far 
 more wicked and awful when gentlepeople do low and 
 mean things than when any other class commits them. 
 If they have had the good fortune to come of a stoek- 
 who have for generations received from God all the 
 material advantages, how much greater then should be 
 their obligation to deserve them. Hugh once said when 
 we were discussing this point that when a gentleman 
 
 230
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 falls, he falls into the gutter and not into the middle 
 classes. Because in the higher grade they are natural 
 with a polished naturalness, at ease among all things; 
 and in the gutter they are natural with a brutal natur- 
 alness which is indifferent, so they are more akin; but 
 in the middle-classes they are full of hypocrisies and 
 shams and conventions because another of Hugh's 
 aphorisms ! " the bourgeois is not sure of himself ; 
 he requires laws, written and unwritten." I think Eton 
 affected me so, that is why I am putting down all these 
 opinions so minutely, like a tiresome student of evolu- 
 tion. 
 
 Hugh and I left the motor at the White Hart at 
 Windsor and walked down and over the bridge to the 
 wall, where such generations of darlings have sat and 
 kicked their legs ! And thereby was an animated crowd 
 of parents and little sisters, with nice pale-blue sashes 
 and such proud, happy faces, and big sisters, and 
 friends, and old Etonians, all arriving and being wel- 
 comed by the boys, dressed in their best clothes. 
 
 Algernon was among them, groomed to the last stage 
 of perfection! his tall hat shining in the sun, pushed 
 at the back of his head, and an immaculate umbrella 
 and buttonhole. I have not this worry with him which 
 some mothers have with their sons. He is extremely 
 particular about his clothes and his personal appear- 
 ance, and Humphrey has always encouraged him in 
 these points. I felt a glow of satisfaction when I caught 
 sight of him ; he is certainly a most beautiful creature, 
 with his bloomingly healthy face, flashing gray eyes, 
 and brown curly hair. Although only fourteen, he is 
 very tall, and next half will go into tails. He enjoys 
 the proud position of fag to " Silchester," who is cap- 
 tain of the Eleven, and whom Algernon looks upon as 
 
 231
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the greatest living hero on earth. He Algernon 
 is no mean cricketer himself, and only last week wrote 
 to say he had made a score of twenty-five for the Lower 
 Boy Eleven of his house in " Sixpenny " the cricket- 
 field where the Lower Boys play. 
 
 He was extremely glad to see us, and introduced sev- 
 eral of his comrades, and we all went off to hear Ab- 
 sence called in School Yard, where Hugh came across 
 numbers of his old friends, who, like himself, had come 
 down to see some young member of their families. Here 
 we met Lady Morvaine, and Adela and Burbridge, the 
 whole party to be entertained by Hugh later at lunch- 
 eon at the White Hart. 
 
 " It's all rot, mother, going to hear the speeches," 
 Algernon said. " You can do that another year. I 
 want to show you my room now, and you would like to 
 see the Chapel again, I expect, and the swishing-block. 
 I only just escaped it the week before last ! " 
 
 Hugh and I allowed ourselves to be taken wherever 
 my son wished, and he and Algernon talked together 
 as two chums of the same age, Algernon appealing to 
 Hugh every now and then to help him out in enlighten- 
 ing my pretended shocking ignorance. 
 
 We enjoyed ourselves so! and duly admired the 
 sporting prints on the wall of his tiny room, and the 
 Vanity Fair caricature of the Headmaster pinned above 
 the mantelpiece. Then we strolled to the Chapel and 
 inspected that, and to the Library, and Hugh told us 
 tales of his adventures and scrapes when he was here 
 twenty years ago. 
 
 " It's jolly different now," Algernon said; " fellows 
 don't get swished once in a half, if at all, thank good- 
 ness." 
 
 As we came out into the yard again we were joined 
 232
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 by the rest of the party, and all together strolled back 
 to the White Hart, Algernon pointing out all the 
 " swells " we passed. He longs to be a " swell " and 
 be able to wear a stand-up collar and link arms and 
 swagger down the street to " Pop " ! The exquisite 
 arrogance of them ! Hugh said when he was a " swell " 
 he felt himself of far more importance than he has ever 
 done at any other period of his life. 
 
 We passed " Silchester," who scrutinized us covertly, 
 and all stopping to look in at the sock-shop, he whis- 
 pered to Algernon, who then seemed bursting with 
 pride, until he had blurted out: 
 
 " I say, mum ! Here is one for you ! Silchester 
 the Captain of the Eleven, you know " ( as though I 
 could for a moment forget such a thing as that!) " my 
 fagmaster has just asked me who that pretty girl is 
 among my people, and he would not believe me when I 
 said it was my mother! You know you do look jolly 
 decent to-day, doesn't she, Sir Hugh? " 
 
 No woman could desire greater incense to her vanity 
 than this ! 
 
 Algernon always shows off to advantage on public 
 occasions. I feel very proud of him, and oh! how I 
 would love him always if he would let me. Hugh tells 
 me he hears through his nephew Burbridge that they 
 mean to " kick him into shape," so as time goes on he 
 may grow near to me in all ways. 
 
 What a luncheon we ate, of young ducks and green 
 peas and strawberries and cream! And after it went 
 back to Eton and to the playing fields to watch the 
 cricket Algernon and Burbridge in frenzied excite- 
 ment not to miss a stroke of the game. And after a 
 little Hugh and I strolled away out of the happy, 
 merry throng, beyond the old elms toward the river
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 with its beautiful view crowned by Windsor's noble 
 castle in the distance. 
 
 Something about the whole day had stirred and 
 moved us both. 
 
 " What an immense influence this place and this lif* 
 must have on all these boys' afterlives," I said. " It 
 hardly seems possible that with such memories any of 
 them can ever sink to anything low; it is a glorious 
 heritage for the nation, this old Eton, isn't it, Hugh? " 
 
 " Yes, it does twine itself about the heart-strings," 
 he answered. " You never hear any fellow who has 
 been here wishing he had been at any other school 
 we are all ready to shout ' Floreat Etonia ! ' forever," 
 and then he was silent as we turned and caught sight of 
 the excited, happy crowd ; and when he spoke his voice 
 was deep with a wistful note in it. 
 
 " Guinevere, what should we be feeling like to-day, 
 darling, if Algernon were my son as well as yours? " 
 
 " Ah, Hugh ! " I cried, " then we should have nothing 
 left to wish for in life. And if he were your son, dear 
 lover, he would be as beautiful as he is now, bodily, and 
 with a loving and tender soul as well, and how I would 
 adore him, and how proud we should be ! " 
 
 " Yes, I often think of it," sighed Hugh, and he 
 looked away straight in front of him, and a mist gath- 
 ered in his eyes. 
 
 And oh ! the pain of another thought would come to 
 me again. While Hugh remains my faithful lover he 
 can never have a son a legitimate son to inherit 
 his name and his lands. He saw the anguish in my face, 
 and instantly divined my thoughts. 
 
 " Guinevere, my precious darling," he pleaded pas- 
 sionately, " do you think it really matters to me not 
 one atom in comparison to the joy of your love. It
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 only comes to me sometimes, because it is the fulfilment 
 of everything between two people like you and me who 
 are really mates. I never dream of a son in the ab- 
 stract only of one that should be yours and mine. 
 Sweetheart, what could a child mean to me of any other 
 woman ? the idea is loathsome." 
 
 " Oh, Hugh ! " I said brokenly, " this is the price we 
 pay for our love, because we break the law of man ; we 
 must suffer these anguishes and divert nature and turn 
 the fulfilment of highest meaning aside. It is all like 
 a scar that we must not look at the skeleton in our 
 cupboard the worm in the bud. Oh ! how I pray 
 that I can make up to you for it in some measure. But 
 on days like to-day it seems as though I must cry aloud 
 with the pain." 
 
 He soothed and comforted me with gentlest tender- 
 ness, telling me over and over again that I was more 
 precious to him than anything else in the world ; and he 
 wanted nothing further. And by the time we had to 
 stroll back to join Algernon and go to tea in his room, 
 an outward tranquillity had returned to me at all 
 events. 
 
 But all through the merry meal and our walk to see 
 the procession of the boats from the Brocas field, and 
 then our dinner at the White Hart and during the fire- 
 works after it, a weight of sorrow, heavy as lead, op- 
 pressed my spirit. 
 
 It was not until Hugh and I were quite alone that his 
 passionate devotion could make me forget all else but 
 the glory of his love. We stayed at Windsor so that I 
 could take Algernon back to meet his father in London 
 next day. 
 
 And very early in the morning my lover and I said 
 
 our last farewell with eyes streaming with tears, and 
 
 16
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Hugh motored off before the world was half awake. 
 
 And now I am at Norfolk Street again, and Algernon 
 is drumming upon the window pane waiting until 
 Letitia's electric brougham shall come round to take us 
 to the station. And in an hour's time I shall have re- 
 ceived the frosty kiss of my husband. 
 
 Oh, God ! I feel numb and cold and dead.
 
 CHAPTER XXH 
 AUGUST, 1906 
 
 rain, rain! It beats against the narrovr 
 windows in my turret chamber; a cold, late 
 August day is dying, and soon I must dress 
 and go down to our grim dinner of just Hum- 
 phrey and Algernon and me. 
 
 How have I passed these two months? I hardly 
 know. For the first three weeks the exuberant satisfac- 
 tion and arrogance of Humphrey from the success of 
 his investigations and the honors poured upon him in 
 consequence, kept us in London, being a good deal en- 
 tertained. Hugh stayed in Paris, and through Letitia 
 I heard of him. We had agreed not to write. Letters, 
 with Humphrey in the same place as I am, are too un- 
 safe. Then we came back to Redwood at the end of 
 June. 
 
 Although he seems to have had nothing but pleasure 
 and incense to his vanity, this trip has aged my hus- 
 band he is growing into an old man. And all July 
 he had fever, on and off, and was very sorry for him- 
 self and terribly irritable. After the first burst of 
 apparent gladness to be in England again, he subsided 
 into one continued grumble at me, and when Letitia, 
 who came down to spend a Saturday to Monday with 
 us, taxed him with it as seriously as she could in chaff, 
 he said, that was one of the reasons a man married for 
 to have some one to swear at.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 One awful moment passed in London, when I was 
 dressing for the Court Ball. Parton had just slipped 
 my frock over my head, and was fastening it up when, 
 without knocking, Humphrey walked into the room. 
 
 He was dressed in his gala uniform, with all his or- 
 ders on, and he looked a very splendid old man and 
 I realized if he had been an uncle or a father, I should 
 have felt very proud of him. 
 
 He had come, he said, to see that I was nearly ready, 
 so as not to be a moment late; and suddenly, as he 
 watched the arranging of the soft silver draperies under 
 Parton's hands, a hideous look grew in his eyes, and I 
 stiffened with a sickening fear. 
 
 And, as the maid went to fetch my jewels, which 
 were laid out on a table at the other side of the room, 
 he bent and kissed my neck with brutal violence, while 
 he murmured in a thick voice of horrible, coarse appre- 
 ciation : 
 
 " You look damned well to-night, Guinevere." 
 
 Over me crept all the agonizing terror and disgust 
 of the first days of our marriage. So sick was I with 
 horror that I could have screamed aloud. And he saw 
 my face, and drew back instantly. 
 
 " Hateful Iceberg ! " he rasped out. " You would 
 freeze the devil himself." 
 
 And I nearly said aloud my thoughts of, " Oh ! for 
 that, thank God." These things are beyond the power 
 of human beings to control ; that utter revulsion of the 
 flesh at the touch of those we do not love cannot be 
 commanded either to come or to go. 
 
 This hideous fear that my better looks might again 
 awaken some spark of emotion in my husband has 
 haunted me so that now I think I am as pale and quiet 
 as ever. The hopeless days go on and soon my Be- 
 
 238
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 loved will return from Scotland, and be once more at 
 Minton Dremont; and how will it be then? 
 
 Oh! rain, you are in unison with my thoughts; but 
 I must have courage and fight my fight and do my duty 
 and that is to dress now and sweep down the stairs 
 with dignity and keep the artificial ball of conversation 
 rolling at dinner, and avert any possible passage-at- 
 arms between my husband and my son. Algernon is 
 growing to hate his father, I believe, and deceives him 
 whenever he can. Now, in the summer, when they have 
 not the hunting to talk about, there are ructions be- 
 tween them all the day long. 
 
 The whole atmosphere is full of storm and unrest. 
 The grooms in the stable tremble at the master's ap- 
 proach the footmen grow clumsy with nervousness, 
 and even Hartington shows signs of strain. 
 
 " Lord, mother," Algernon said after lunch to- 
 day, " isn't this jolly different to Easter and Minton 
 Dremont ? " But I could not answer him ; a lump had 
 grown in my throat. 
 
 Humphrey is beginning to remind me of " Red Eye " 
 in that masterpiece of Jack London's about which I 
 have spoken before. 
 
 I dare say if I loved him I might even now influence 
 him to gentler ways ; but, like the emotions of the flesh, 
 emotions of the mind cannot be commanded either to 
 come or to go ; and all that I can force myself to do is 
 to be meek and quiet, and irritate him as little as I can. 
 
 This is the price fate is making him pay for stealing" 
 my youth and my freedom and crushing out their re- 
 sistance to his will. I realize all these laws now, and 
 know that each of our actions must be paid for by 
 ourselves, for good or ill.
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Hugh came yesterday he rode into the courtyard 
 on Caesar. I saw him through the iron gates from the 
 garden. Oh! my Beloved! A great quivering sigh 
 burst from me but it was half pain. 
 
 I let him go in and stay some time with Humphrey, 
 and then I crept back up the turret stairs to my room 
 and went down from there casually into the library, 
 where they were sitting talking of the prospect of birds 
 for the shooting season. I called out to one of the 
 dogs as I opened the door, that Hugh might know I 
 was coming, and would have time to control his face; 
 and so we greeted one another in the most ordinary 
 way. And there we three sat, going through this com- 
 edy, and if the pain caused by the longing and aching 
 for my lover's presence all these weeks had not been 
 upon me, I could have laughed a bitter laugh. 
 
 Humphrey was in quite a good humor, and evidently 
 thought Hugh shared his feeling of finding my presence 
 a bore. 
 
 He showed no sign of leaving us, nor could I devise 
 any plan for securing one word with Hugh alone. We 
 just sat and sat until Hartington announced tea 
 was ready in the hall, and we went out there. 
 
 A grim suit of armor stands on each side of the great 
 fireplace, and it always seems that hollow eyes are 
 watching from the lowered visors. They give me al- 
 ways uncanny creeps. I particularly dislike the hall, 
 but Humphrey has ordered tea to be brought there for 
 this last week. 
 
 Oh! the pain and the irony of it all! To pour out 
 the tea and ask if Hugh took cream and sugar, and to 
 give forth platitudes with no hope of a sentence alone. 
 It would be impossible to understand the chafe of this 
 situation if one had not been through it. 
 
 240
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I know so well every line of Hugh's face and every 
 expression of his eyes, and I saw that he was at explo- 
 sion-point with the restriction of things. 
 
 But nothing happened to help us, and I was obliged 
 to give an icy hand and only let my eyes speak the 
 anguish I was feeling, with my back turned toward 
 Humphrey, as we said good-bye, and when they were 
 both gone toward the courtyard again I rushed back 
 to my turret room and gave way to a passion of tears. 
 
 Oh ! God, how am I to bear it day after day ! 
 
 Hugh came to dine this evening, invited by Hum- 
 phrey. It has rained so constantly since he was here 
 last week that I have not had the chance to ride even, 
 and no prospect of seeing him has occurred. The un- 
 speakable restlessness of the empty days ! To-night I 
 felt the wildest excitement, and Parton said as I fin- 
 ished dressing: 
 
 " You look so dreadfully pale, ma'am would you 
 not take a little sal volatile before going down? Lady 
 Langthorpe told me I was to be very careful of you." 
 
 I drank the nasty stuff, and when I went into the 
 drawing-room I saw by the clock that I was three min- 
 utes late, and Hugh had arrived. Hartington has or- 
 ders never to delay announcing dinner for any one, 
 once the master of the house is in the room; but he 
 stretches a point for me, and entered with me. 
 
 Humphrey, however, was not deceived, and glowered 
 as I shook hands with Hugh. 
 
 " What do you keep us waiting for, I should like to 
 know? " he snapped. " Upsetting the discipline of my 
 house ! Are you ill, madam ? " 
 
 " No," I answered, with what dignity I could. " Let 
 241
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 us now go down." And I took Hugh's arm, while 
 Humphrey followed with Algernon, too close upon our 
 heels for us to be able to say one word; but I felt 
 Hugh's dear sympathy, and all through dinner at in- 
 tervals I saw that his eyes sought my face anxiously. 
 And at last he said : 
 
 " Mrs. Bohun does look very pale to-night, General, 
 doesn't she? " 
 
 " Modern women are impossible people ! " Humphrey 
 rejoined. " They can't stand anything. If they don't 
 have every little fancy gratified, they go white about 
 the gills. But I am too old to pander to them. Let 
 'em alone is my principle! Guinevere pretends that 
 this place does not suit her confounded nonsense ! " 
 
 I looked at Hugh imploringly, for I knew how this 
 speech would make him feel ; he shut his lips tightly and 
 lowered his eyes to his plate. 
 
 Algernon had a sardonic grin upon his countenance. 
 Sometimes it would seem that he actually enjoys his 
 father's harshness to others in the relief at its not being 
 directed against himself. 
 
 He goes to bed very soon after dinner, so when an 
 hour later Humphrey and Hugh did join me in the 
 drawing-room, I was alone. 
 
 My husband likes to stay as long as he can in the 
 dining-room, chatting with any man who may be here. 
 
 He settled down in his chair at once, and soon went 
 to sleep when I played the piano as usual. 
 
 Then, at last, Hugh came to me, leaning upon the 
 lid. We spoke in gentle whispers, while my fingers 
 continued to evoke sounds. Of the hideous misery of 
 the last days, of the longing to see each other again 
 and all the time there was the uneasy sense that Hum- 
 phrey might at any moment wake and be suspicious,
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 from the fact that my lover should be standing so near 
 to me. 
 
 The pain was greater than the pleasure and there 
 was the gnawing, aching desire just for one kiss one 
 touch. 
 
 We arranged that whenever I saw the slightest 
 chance of coming out and meeting Hugh in the park at 
 our copse, I was to contrive to post him a word the day 
 before. He had told William, still at Minton Dremont, 
 to be in readiness for any requirements ; and with this 
 poor consolation in front of us we have now to be con- 
 tent. 
 
 When an hour had passed in tender, passionate whis- 
 perings, I made Hugh go back to a seat beside the 
 fireplace opposite Humphrey, and then I crashed some 
 loud chords to wake him up. 
 
 " What a din you are making, Guinevere," my hus- 
 band said crossly. " You seem to have quite lost your 
 old touch." And then he blew his nose violently, and 
 took a pinch of snuff a habit which has been grow- 
 ing on him lately and, rising, he linked his arm in 
 my lover's and drew him toward the door. 
 
 " Let us go and have a drink and a smoke in my 
 den, Dremont," he growled. " My lady wife looks tired, 
 and will be glad to go to bed." So we said a stiff good 
 night, and they went off down the great stairs. And I 
 was preparing to go and creep up my narrow ones in 
 the pitch dark, when I heard Hugh rushing back on 
 pretence of having left his cigarette-case, it appeared. 
 He rapidly crossed the room, and for the briefest sec- 
 ond clasped me in his arms, and then left. 
 
 Now I am sitting here, and it is past midnight. Oh ! 
 there must be many women in England who are going 
 through just the same situation as I am how I send
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 out my sympathy to them all, and how, I wonder, does 
 the hurt of having to dissemble like this, sear their 
 souls and scorch them, as it is scorching mine? 
 
 Petrov do not blink at me your blue-gray vel- 
 vet face is cynical to-night, and your orange eyes are 
 mocking. What do you think of things, my cat? 
 
 A month has passed, and we have met twice by 
 stealth, my lover and I but oh ! the bitter-sweet pain 
 of it the sickening dread of detection the heart- 
 ache and the wrench at parting. We can neither of us 
 be natural, even in the short moments we are together ; 
 we can only cling to each other in passion and fear. 
 
 Humphrey and I have lunched at Minton Dremont; 
 he would not dine, he has a fit of gout coming on, and 
 even the information that he is to be made a K.C.B. 
 has hardly improved his temper. 
 
 It seemed horrible to be there in Hugh's house with 
 Humphrey, every corner of it filled as it is with sweet 
 and tender memories of us two alone. The sense of 
 unreality and of strain was hateful. 
 
 Hugh is miserable to see me so pale and quiet, and 
 to know that he can no longer have the chance of 
 bringing life and happiness to me. 
 
 My soul is warping, and I can only feel alternate 
 fits of wild rebellion and utter depression. I cannot 
 bear it much longer. Something must happen; it is 
 impossible to live like this. Hugh's dear face, too, is 
 haggard and full of anxiety, and he says reckless things 
 unlike his former self. 
 
 Algernon has gone back to Eton pleased to go 
 even from Snack and Pip and ratting in the old 
 barn. 
 
 244
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Ghosts are all tommy-rot, mother," he said, on his 
 last evening, " but there is some beastly thing about 
 this house that makes everything seem to go wrong." 
 
 And now it is late October, and the wina is howling 
 in the sodden trees, and it seems as if the Lady 
 Margaret's spirit sighed often behind me and from 
 beneath the west windows there comes a pitiful 
 groan. 
 
 I know all this is imagination, but sometimes I feel 
 as if I should go mad. 
 
 To-morrow, Humphrey has to be in Wareford for 
 the whole day, on county business, and I shall risk 
 everything and go for a ride in the park at Minton. 
 Dremont. I had to dissemble and plan, and get a letter 
 to the postman just as he was taking the bag this 
 morning, to let Hugh know and the horrible fear of 
 being detected by Humphrey left me cold and trem- 
 bling until the man was out of view. 
 
 I have made up my mind what I shall say to my 
 Beloved he is free and I am not. I shall beseech him 
 to go away away on a long tour. It has come to 
 this, that agony must drive him from his hcfme and 
 make him wander in search of peace and I, left 
 alone, must bear it as I can. 
 
 Oh ! indeed, the price of love when not blessed by 
 the Church is heavy enough. 
 
 We met in the copse, and old William held Jenny 
 Wren there, while Hugh and I went through the au- 
 tumn trees to the garden door, and so to his sitting- 
 room. And here for a while we could only sob out 
 
 245
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 our passion and misery in each other's arms, and then 
 I put before him the decision I had come to. 
 
 " Hugh," I whispered brokenly, " I cannot bear it 
 I cannot take it as they do in the world, Letitia 
 says as a joke and an adventure; every time I have 
 to stoop to scheme and plan and act to Humphrey to 
 be able to see you, I feel utterly degraded and low. 
 It will tarnish our great love, dear lover it will put 
 a blight upon that which was pure and true, and spoil 
 even our memories. Hugh I implore you go 
 away away, away, a long way off a voyage round 
 the world anything, until we can both master our- 
 selves and crush passion, so that our meetings can 
 be free from this awful pain." 
 
 He buried his face in his hands. 
 
 " Oh ! my God ! " he said hoarsely. " Has it come 
 to this, then, darling, that I have brought sorrow into 
 your life, and can no longer chase it away ? " 
 
 " No no, Hugh ! You must not say that," I cried, 
 in pitiful distress. " You have brought divine joy and 
 fulfilment you have taught me the meaning of na- 
 ture and life, and what it is to live in God's way 
 but now fate is too hard for us. If we stay here in 
 this atmosphere of deceit " and I stopped, the sob 
 rose too quickly in my throat. 
 
 Hugh started to his feet, as though I had struck 
 him; he walked rapidly across to the fireplace and 
 back, his stern face working in anguish and then he 
 seemed to come to some resolve. 
 
 " Guinevere," he said, and he sat down beside me 
 again, and took both my hands, "heart of me I 
 will do whatever you ask me but what will our lives 
 be parted, and eating our souls out alone? Is it not 
 better to throw the whole thing over? Come away 
 
 246
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 with me off now in my yacht to the southern seas. 
 We need never return to England for years. Let your 
 husband divorce you, and we will then marry imme- 
 diately we can. After a while, we could go and live at 
 Bransdale, and shut up Minton Dremont Guine- 
 vere " 
 
 I laughed wildly, while the tears blinded my eyes. 
 
 " Ah ! Hugh, do you think Humphrey would ever do 
 that divorce me ! He would track us to the world's 
 end, and kill us both without a moment's compunction. 
 It would give him pleasure yes pleasure and ex- 
 citement like a wild-beast hunt. And until he came, I 
 would live in haunting fear, and at last go mad, every 
 moment that you were away from me, in terror lest he 
 had trapped you and done you to death. Oh! you do 
 not know him, and the Bohun spirit and its ven- 
 geance. Think of the poor Cavalier, and violence has 
 occurred again and again in their history! The di- 
 vorce court would be a joke to Humphrey; he has al- 
 ways boasted nothing but the death of any unfaithful 
 Bohun wife would ever wipe out the stain on the Bohun 
 name he is not a bit like modern people just a 
 savage, Hugh." 
 
 " How frightfully unjust," my dear one cried, 
 clenching his hand passionately. " And to think of 
 his own past life, Guinevere and even last year 
 there was a story I heard in London Oh! such a 
 man should be exterminated by his kind and we are 
 powerless you and I but I would be perfectly 
 willing to fight with him for you, my darling since 
 he goes back to primitive savagery in this dramatic 
 way. If it is only a question of fighting I am per- 
 fectly ready to chance my life." 
 
 " There is something else, Hugh," I answered sadly. 
 247
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " There are the currents we should draw upon our- 
 selves. My broken obligation to my son, until he is 
 grown up and can protect himself. And I could not 
 ever have happiness knowing I had destroyed his ideal 
 of his mother now when he is too young to reason 
 out the justice or the moral right of the case I 
 would seem to him as an evil creature, and I would be 
 made to appear more so by the whole Bohun family. 
 Hugh, it is my glory that you are my lover, dearest 
 but, as Letitia once said when she made me understand 
 myself and the real meaning of things, I have no right 
 to hurt the community Hugh ! I must stand by my 
 beliefs, even if they break my heart." 
 
 " But how can we part, Guinevere ! " he exclaimed, 
 rather wildly. " It is the end of life, that is all, dar- 
 ling." 
 
 " Yes," I agreed, with the tears streaming from my 
 eyes. " But it is better that than that our souls should 
 grow fierce and defiant and tarnished. Hugh, promise 
 me that you will go away for a time ; you are free and 
 can do so I am chained and cannot, dear lover, or I 
 would not ask you to leave this, your home." 
 
 He knelt down beside me, and buried his face in my 
 lap and when he looked up it was strained and white 
 with agony. 
 
 " Darling," he almost sobbed, his strong frame trem- 
 bling. " I adore you never more than to-day. You 
 are the truest and the purest woman for a man's wor- 
 ship. This anguish is the reality of that farewell you 
 played last year. Now kiss me once more, and I 
 will go away, I promise you, until I can master my- 
 self sufficiently to be able to come back again in 
 peace." 
 
 So, with bitter, blinding tears, we parted at last 
 248
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 my lover and I, there in the copse when we left the 
 sitting-room, and I mounted Jenny Wren and rode 
 homeward. 
 
 And I cannot write of my sorrow, or the long, pitiful 
 ache of the autumn days.
 
 CHAPTER XXIII 
 APRIL, 1908 
 
 XDO not know where to begin to take up the 
 thread of my life again after all this long 
 time. Eighteen months have gone past since 
 Hugh went away, and Minton Dremont has 
 seen him no more. One thinks one cannot bear things, 
 and that anguish must kill one, but it does not if one 
 is young enough and strong. I shall be thirty-four 
 years old in June, and in outward appearance I am 
 not changed at all, it would seem, by what Letitia says ; 
 only I am utterly so in the inner me. 
 
 Those first weeks were all such a blank anguish, I 
 can hardly separate one from another, except that by 
 Christmas time Humphrey grew so ill with gout and an 
 attack of bronchitis, that he was ordered abroad for 
 the rest of the winter and once more I found myself 
 at St. Raphael, with Algernon fretting during the 
 whole of those holidays at missing the hunting. He 
 was obliged to be quiet about it before his father, but 
 he vented it on me with true Bohun instinct. He is 
 growing so distressingly like Humphrey that an utter 
 hopelessness comes over me, because it shows me more 
 strongly than ever the uselessness of my fighting against 
 nature, which seems more powerful than any environ- 
 ment or surrounding influence of people. 
 
 Algernon has seen and suffered from the result of 
 his father's temper and injustice, and yet this has been 
 
 250
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 no lesson to him. He hits out in exactly the same man- 
 ner when anything crosses him. Eton prevents his 
 growing into a bully openly, but I cannot help fearing 
 that now, when he is going to have fags of his 
 own, their situation will not be all joy, judging 
 by his ways with the animals and groom and stable 
 strappers. 
 
 We came back to England too late for the races last 
 Easter; another cause of anger and repining to him: 
 he loathed having to join us abroad again, Humphrey 
 insisting upon his doing so and refusing a tempting 
 invitation from the Morvaines. 
 
 Then we settled down at Redwood Moat once more 
 in the beautiful late spring of last year. Letitia had 
 a letter or two from Hugh after he first went away, but 
 the final one said he was going far into Tibet and would 
 be for many months in inaccessible places and since 
 then there has been silence, and no one knows where he 
 is or what has happened to him. 
 
 I have used every strength I possess to crush out 
 emotion in myself I have forced myself to do all my 
 duties to the villagers, in the county, and in the 
 household with extra care. I wish I had one of those 
 characters able to take a deep interest in outside af- 
 fairs, but the repression of my life for so many years, 
 the fear of Humphrey, and the habit of living always 
 in a world of my own into which he could not penetrate, 
 and could not dominate with his shadow, has become 
 too strong to overcome. I am a silent, solitary person, 
 and I cannot help it. I have been through the severest 
 discipline with my mind, of long and deep courses of 
 the study of abstruse subjects that require all my in- 
 telligence to grasp, especially this new wave of the 
 scientific investigation of the forces that affect us be- 
 17 251
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 yond the material, which seems to have swept over 
 civilization with the new century. 
 
 And the result of this knowledge of cause and effect 
 makes me know that, because Hugh and I went against 
 the tremendously strong current invoked by the beliefs 
 and prejudices of centuries in the breaking of the law 
 of man, we must pay the price to its end, and only God 
 knows what that end may be. Since we are not of the 
 natures which can feel all things lightly, as Letitia says 
 they do in the world, our pleasures and our pains must 
 always be deep. I have grown to take a more profound 
 interest than ever in the garden and nature, and all the 
 dear plants and flowers and they seem to bring me 
 comfort and hope that some day, when the debt is paid, 
 we shall come into peace. 
 
 I am not fighting against fate, I am bearing it as 
 well as I can; and often I sit at the east window and 
 send forth strong and loving thoughts and prayers for 
 the welfare of my Beloved. 
 
 I feel and know nothing evil has befallen him, and 
 some day he will return, and perhaps we shall both be 
 strong enough to meet as friends. 
 
 How glorious life would be if one had known always 
 how to draw to oneself only good, and avert evil 
 if one had been taught from the beginning these won- 
 derful laws, one could have avoided that which must 
 bring pain. Surely the next generation, who will have 
 the chance of knowledge, will be splendidly happy 
 people. 
 
 For me, I always used to ask myself in my first years 
 of warping wretchedness and ignorance: What does 
 it all mean? To what end? Do great actions and fine 
 aims 'bring peace and happiness, or is everything 
 chance? And if there is no such thing as chance, but
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 that every circumstance and event of our lives is the 
 direct result of our own action, how are we to know 
 how to direct that action since we cannot always fore- 
 see its result? And then I began to read and under- 
 stand little by little, and make small experiments 
 and look back and draw deductions ; and I have come to 
 realize that it does really all lie in our own hands indi- 
 vidually and in the community what we draw to our- 
 selves, and it seems to me that the theory of former 
 lives is the only one which contains justice. My mar- 
 riage to Humphrey, about which I had no say, must 
 have been some debt I had to pay for some former ac- 
 tion. My love for Hugh has been the awakening of my 
 soul to the highest things, but as my debt is not yet 
 paid, it must bring me suffering until that is worked 
 out. 
 
 Letitia was at first very angry with me, for what 
 she called my " stupid seriousness." 
 
 " Why in the world, Guinevere," she said, " could 
 you not have taken the affair as every other woman 
 does, instead of having all those exalted feelings about 
 it ? Here is poor Hugh sent off from his home because 
 you feel degraded when you deceive Humphrey, who 
 entirely deserves that fate. It would have been my 
 pride and delight to match my wits against his, and it 
 would have added all the zest of a continual excitement. 
 But you hopelessly serious * Eagle ' people must always 
 drag in tragedy. I have no patience with you ! " 
 and then she softened as she looked into my face. 
 " Dear little sister," she went on more gently, " you. 
 are suffering horribly, of course, in a manner we none 
 of us know anything about. Winnie's way, for in- 
 
 255
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 stance, was to be so upset when she heard Hugh had 
 gone, that, although it was much too late in the year, 
 she went right off to some German baths and tried 
 to give us all the impression he had bolted on her ac- 
 count! She behaved like a sorrowing widow for quite 
 three months, until past Christmas and only got 
 over it when she felt the stimulation of taking Bobby 
 L'Estrange away from Ermyntrude was possible. The 
 whole set have had ructions, and have seemed to have 
 gone to pieces without the crystallizing centre of Min- 
 ton Dremont and the fight for Hugh." 
 
 " Don't let us talk about my stupidity, Letitia," I 
 implored her. " I know it I know, according to 
 every sensible view, I am a perfect idiot ; but I cannot 
 help it I could not have gone on with the situation 
 as it was, or Hugh either. As you say, we have Eagle 
 ways, I suppose and only desire one mate." 
 
 Langthorpe had a bad accident while he was riding 
 in the Park, at the end of June, and very nearly died, 
 and Letitia nursed him with the utmost devotion, giv- 
 ing up her whole remaining season, and then taking 
 him down to Cheshire to recruit. She stayed there with 
 him, nothing but a nurse, until late in September, so I 
 did not see her all the summer, as Humphrey would 
 not allow me once to go away from home. But in the 
 autumn she came again to Redwood Moat. 
 
 She was horrified to observe the change in Hum- 
 phrey; he is so irritable that even to her he could not 
 always keep up his gallant manner, and rasped once or 
 twice, while, although I try always to be perfectly meek 
 and gentle to him, I can do nothing right in his eyes, 
 it would seem. His health is quite restored now, though, 
 and except for occasional fits of the gout, he is as 
 strong as ever and has hunted all this last winter. But 
 
 254
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 nothing will induce him to allow me to leave him ; I have 
 hardly been to London to shop, even for a day. It is 
 not that I see much of him not at all, practically, 
 except at meals but he likes me to be there to go 
 through the same stiff duties day after day, and play 
 him to sleep in the evenings. We have had very few 
 visitors only dear old Sir John Kaird, except the 
 usual parties for the partridges and pheasants. 
 
 Algernon's holidays this year the second since 
 Hugh went away have been rather a trial, because of 
 the rows between him and Humphrey, both at Christmas 
 and Easter. Their two haughty faces glared at one 
 another often at dinner, and Humphrey seemed to ex- 
 perience a delight in humiliating the boy. " Taking it 
 out of the young cub," he called it. 
 
 Algernon was sixteen this March, though to look at 
 he might be eighteen or nineteen at least. I do not 
 think in my life I have ever seen any one so handsome ; 
 everything about him is physically perfect, but for the 
 hard brilliancy of his splendid eyes. Women are al- 
 ready growing to take too much notice of him. In the 
 hunting field all these last Christmas holidays, which 
 we spent here, they flattered him; but as yet, I am 
 thankful to say, he is perfectly indifferent to their 
 blandishments and rather resents their attention. This 
 state of things cannot go on for long, though, with his 
 strongly passionate type. 
 
 Humphrey always insinuates that, at this age, he had 
 already begun to take an interest in women. It utterly 
 revolts me, and I pray that the remote touch of me in 
 my child, which gave him the gray eyes, will be enough 
 to keep some refinement of spirit in him. But Hum- 
 phrey says the coarsest things before him, and if it 
 were not that I know he has a complete respect for me, 
 
 255
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and so holds at least one woman high, I should think 
 his opinion of the sex could not be ever anything but 
 base. There is a perfectly ruthless, brutal material 
 common-sense about him, which leaves me frozen at 
 times. To neither my husband nor my son is there 
 anything really sacred or beautiful and true ; but I have 
 no right to wonder or lament that not one atom of love 
 or tenderness seems to be in Algernon's spirit. He was 
 created when fear and horror and protesting hate had 
 the only sway of me. Oh ! what a terrible responsibility 
 it is to bring children into the world, and how pitiful 
 is the ignorance and the thoughtlessness of half the 
 inhabitants of it on this subject. All I can do now is 
 to try in every way to soften the boy by my love and 
 gentleness, and make up to him for what in my piteous 
 youth and want of understanding I brought him. If he 
 had been Hugh's son but I must not think of such 
 things. 
 
 It is early May now, and Letitia with Lang- 
 thorpe ! has come to spend a Saturday to Monday 
 with us, and to-night we have talked in my shrine as in 
 former days. 
 
 " I got so accustomed to my old boy, his having been 
 so weak and helpless for so long, and nothing but a 
 kind of baby to me, that now I feel quite lost without 
 him," my sister said, by way of explanation as to why 
 she had brought her husband with her. " He is really 
 one of the greatest dears I know, Guinevere and I am 
 forty-four, and can now have a little rest with him I 
 have grown rather tired, sometimes, of those younger 
 men, except Gerald Northey he remains an adoring, 
 fresh, young inspiration but that is a thing 
 
 256
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 apart " She stopped suddenly, and looked long at 
 me as I sat there in the great oak chair opposite her 
 she herself being in the more comfortable hooded one 
 that is covered with faded magenta brocade. 
 
 " Guinevere," she remarked at last, " your face is 
 like a saint's, dearest. Not one of those tiresome, 
 sickly, goody creatures one sees in pictures but what 
 one would mean to one's self by a saint. It is as 
 pure as a lily and almost transparent and you 
 haven't aged a day; but your eyes look as if they had 
 seen and known the whole of life, and were now fixed 
 beyond, in a queer peace. You are growing very beau- 
 tiful, little sister." 
 
 " Oh ! Letitia ! " I sighed, " I am not a saint at all 
 I am just trying to live as calmly as I can because I 
 have always the strange feeling that I am waiting for 
 something and yet, what am I waiting for? I do 
 not know for the last months, four at least I am 
 waiting in an unconscious expectancy of what? 
 Whatever happens, it seems to be only passing, as 
 though events, places, people, actions, thoughts all, 
 all were as the telegraph poles seen from a train win- 
 dow, while my soul rushes on where? " 
 
 " You wonderful creature, Guinevere," Letitia said. 
 " Perhaps, in the end, you will get your heart's desire. 
 Tell me, do you still love Hugh as absolutely as ever 
 now that you have not seen him for nineteen months ? " 
 
 A great shiver ran through me. Do I love Hugh as 
 much as ever ! 
 
 And I answered from the depth of my being : 
 
 " While there is life in my body, and while my soul is 
 conscious to all eternity, Letitia, I shall love Hugh al- 
 ways and absolutely for me there is no other man." 
 
 " It almost frightens me," my sister said, and she 
 257
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 shivered a little, and drew her chair nearer the glowing 
 logs the night was clear but cold and chill. " Be- 
 cause I have a piece of news for you. At the end of 
 May Hugh is arriving in England, and will probably 
 return to Minton Dremont and what will you do 
 i then, Guinevere ? " 
 
 A breathless moment passed, and I answered very 
 low: 
 
 " I hope God will direct me to do whatever is the best 
 for us all, Letitia." 
 
 " You think you will be able to be friends? " 
 
 " I trust so " and I rose abruptly from my 
 chair and went and looked out of the north window. I 
 felt stifling. I opened the casement wide and drew 
 back the thick silk curtains, and there the moonlight 
 flooded the view. 
 
 " Well," said my sister, rising also, " good night 
 now, darling you think over it, and don't be a dog- 
 in-the-manger. If you can't have Hugh yourself, you 
 had better get him to marry some decent girl it is 
 rather awful to think of Minton Dremont going to 
 those utterly impossible cousins." 
 
 And when she had gone, I went back to the window 
 again, and there stayed until the dawn but I cannot 
 write of the torment of my thoughts.
 
 CHAPTER XXIV 
 JUNE, 1908 
 
 HETITIA went to Paris for Whitsuntide 
 Whitsunday fell this year on the seventh of 
 June and there, at the Ritz, Hugh joined 
 her party. He did not come to England 
 straight after all. 
 
 From the moment I knew of his arrival, a wild, un- 
 conquerable excitement took hold of me. It is pitiful 
 that after nearly two years of hard fighting with myself 
 to suppress emotion that this should be so. I have 
 spent hours in my little shrine, praying silently to God. 
 I have never prayed to love Hugh less, only to be able 
 to conquer the outside expression of my passion so that 
 we may meet as friends. But, alas ! I grow feverishly 
 excited when the moment for the posts comes, and a 
 letter from Letitia can be expected and this morning 
 one arrived. There was nothing much in it but gossip 
 nbout the world, except that Hugh was there with her 
 and looked well and gay and bronzed not a word 
 from him, or message for me. This is as it should be, 
 of course, but it made me feel sick and cold as I read, 
 I have enough self-control to force myself to go through 
 my duties and show no sign ; but the gnawing agony of 
 unrest is terrible to bear much crueller as a pain 
 than the utter desolation of the days after our parting. 
 That was numb despair this is the rack. 
 
 The only things which soothe me are to play for 
 259
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 hours on the little piano alone in my turret chamber, or 
 to moon along on Jenny Wren in Corlston Chase or the 
 park of Minton Dremont. The underwood in our copse 
 has grown quite thick now. Ah ! the memories the sight 
 of it calls up ! 
 
 Letitia's second letter announced that Hugh intended 
 returning to England at the end of the week. 
 
 " He is quite ready to be friends if you are, Guine- 
 vere," she wrote. " So after all, things may go well 
 and you must always remember you have at least had 
 your cake and it is not fate's fault but your own 
 intense natures' if you cannot go on nibbling at it all 
 the time as sensible people would. And there is one 
 thing to realize and face, which no woman is willing to 
 do, and that is that the nature of man is not inconsol- 
 able, and he can always find distractions. It is unjust 
 that the main suffering invariably falls upon the woman, 
 but so it is because she is the weaker creature, and 
 Nature always punishes all weak things. Hugh was 
 frightfully unhappy, no doubt, for a long while but 
 he has had a splendidly sporting time, and he has re- 
 turned with a fresh zest for civilization, and of course 
 is having every sort of incense to his vanity poured 
 over him by every woman he sees. He is free, he can 
 go where he pleases and indulge whatever fancy for 
 distraction may appeal to him but you, Guinevere, 
 are chained to Humphrey and Redwood Moat, day 
 after day, and year after year. Any other woman in 
 your situation would take Hugh casually and agree- 
 ably as a lover again, if he is willing, and look upon 
 him as a relaxation, a richly deserved weekly outing, as 
 no doubt hard-worked bank clerks look upon their Sun- 
 
 260
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 day game of golf. But you say you cannot do that 
 sort of thing, it all means too much to you the hurt 
 to your soul in having to circumvent your husband, al- 
 though you feel morally free and of course are ethically 
 so as regards him. But this hurt to your soul is such 
 that it obliges you to cease having Hugh for your 
 lover. Well, all that is plain then, little sister; there- 
 fore, since this is your conviction and you can't help 
 being that lofty, pure sort of person, you have abso- 
 lutely no right to either let yourself grieve, or repine 
 at the results of a situation entirely created by your- 
 self and your own beliefs. Fate sent you the most dar- 
 ling lover a woman could wish for with a house nice 
 and close, too, and all perfect, in answer to your prayer 
 to live before it was too late. But your exalted soul 
 won't let yourself enjoy those good things so there 
 it is. 
 
 " I could understand it better if you were ortho- 
 doxly religious like Ada thinks she is and felt pricks 
 of conscience upon the question of the sanctity of the 
 marriage tie, whether it is empty or has lost its orig- 
 inal meaning or no but that has nothing to do with 
 it in your case. You feel it no sin to have had Hugh as 
 a lover you only feel you are degrading yourself by 
 deceiving Humphrey. Now I have analyzed the whole 
 situation, though goodness knows ! we have thrashed it 
 out often enough before the only reason that makes 
 me go all over it again is to rouse your common-sense, 
 to try and assist you not to suffer more than you need 
 do. Stick to being nice friends, if you can ; if you can't, 
 either crush your supers en sitive honor toward Hum- 
 phrey and enjoy life again (remember, Humphrey 
 doesn't deserve & moment's extra consideration so long 
 as you do your duties toward him in every way) or 
 
 261
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 a third course is, if you cannot make yourself do that, 
 then have a final break with Hugh and let him marry 
 some one else. I can quite understand while you were 
 everything to a man, with your attractive looks, and 
 exquisitely cultivated intelligence, to say nothing of 
 your wonderful love for the creature, he would not care 
 a snap for anything else on earth or whether he had 
 an heir or no but if he can't have you for his love 
 and yet mayn't have another woman for his wife and 
 the prospect of a son, it is abominably hard upon him. 
 So face all these points, Guinevere, and make up your 
 mind. I will stand by you, however you decide and 
 you have my deepest sympathy, because far down in my 
 1/eart I have always the odious remembrance that I am 
 more than half the cause that you are married to Hum- 
 phrey papa would not have dared to agree to Hum- 
 phrey's passionate demand if I had not backed it up, 
 and driven him almost. What awful things one does 
 when one is young and self-confident and ignorant, 
 doesn't one! I thought, having married Langthorpe 
 and being prosperous, with a great position in the 
 world, that nothing else mattered, and that I was being 
 awfully clever and kind securing the rich old Humphrey 
 for you. You were always such a white, silent, gentle 
 little thing; nobody but Bob ever understood you or 
 imagined you had an atom of character. I thought 
 Humphrey would be kind to you, and spoil you and 
 give you everything you wanted that I had already got, 
 and I knew papa was dying then, and when he did you 
 would not have enough to live comfortably even, as 
 every sou of his money went with the place. 
 
 ' You can remember, Guinevere, how hideously poor 
 we were and the struggle to pay Fraulein Strauss 
 and send Bob to Eton. It all seemed too awful to me
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 to look back upon after I left home and married, when 
 mamma died. But now I know that no human being 
 has the right to force another's fate, and that I did a 
 terrible thing to you, poor little sister ! You will prob- 
 ably see Hugh in church on Sunday for the first time. 
 I tell you this to avoid your being anxious, and wonder- 
 ing when you will be likely to meet him. I shall come 
 down to Minton Dremont myself when I get back, and 
 see how things are going. So now, good-bye." 
 
 Thus the letter ended. And as I read, the closely- 
 written sheets fell from my hands, and all things be- 
 came a blank for a few moments while I stared into 
 space. 
 
 Yes, my sister had put the case fairly and I must 
 make up my mind and then, for the second time in 
 my life, I flung myself on the floor, in this my turret 
 room, and, burying my face in the faded silk curtains 
 of the east window, I gave way to passionate weeping. 
 
 I have seen Hugh. He came, as Letitia said he prob- 
 ably would, to church on Sunday. The Dremont pew 
 is on the other side to ours, and unless whoever is sit- 
 ting in it turns round, I can only see the back of the 
 head. But Hugh came in after we did, and I saw him 
 as he walked up the aisle. 
 
 He looks splendidly well and very bronzed, and yes 
 a little older and when the sun fell on him in a 
 shaft, I saw a thread or two of silver shining in his 
 brown hair. He was thirty-nine years old this April, 
 my Beloved One. 
 
 In all my life, I have never prayed in church as I 
 did this Sunday. Prayed for his welfare and his hap- 
 piness, and that we might have peace. For I have not, 
 
 263
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 been able to come to any decision only to try my 
 hardest to remain just nice friends. 7 cannot face the 
 other two alternatives yet. And all through the long 
 sermon that the old parson gave us I let my thoughts 
 wander, and my spirit went back to two years ago, and 
 the time of perfect peace and union we had had at Min- 
 ton Dremont. I look upon that as my only married life 
 
 in the sense of God's meaning in marriage respect 
 and trust and love between two people entirely happy 
 together. It all seemed as though I were looking back 
 across an abyss, and as though I were dead and in some 
 other existence. 
 
 Suddenly Hugh turned round, and his dear, dark- 
 blue eyes met mine, and I almost cried aloud : " Oh ! 
 God ! I love him so ! " 
 
 The moment was sickening when we came out, and 
 Hugh greeted us warmly with casual friendship on the 
 churchyard path. I remembered that time before when 
 he had been acting a part, after his return from Lon- 
 don, and he had feigned indifference and of the pain 
 it had caused me, and of my resolutions afterward to 
 understand the reality and let the seeming go. But 
 now I could not tell which was the reality and which 
 the seeming, so I kept myself with an icy calm ; I feared 
 even to look into his dear eyes. 
 
 Humphrey asked him to come back to lunch with us 
 
 an invitation given in a manner impossible to refuse 
 without a very clear reason, and there could be none 
 with Hugh's recent arrival home, and his being quite 
 alone. He accepted, and I do not know if it was imag- 
 ination on my part, but it seemed almost as though 
 there was a defiance in his tone. 
 
 " We must hear of all your adventures in Tibet, Sir 
 Hugh," I said, to try and be natural ; he looked at me 
 
 264
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 suddenly again, a flash of inquiry in his glance and 
 he answered rather coldly. 
 
 We were not left alone a moment, of course, by 
 Humphrey before luncheon, and the frightful comedy 
 was kept up. I know Hugh so intimately. I know that 
 whatever his emotions are underneath, whether he only 
 fee] s friendly toward me or not, he was acting now. I 
 felt it through all the ease of his conversation, prin- 
 cipally addressed to Humphrey, and his whimsical de- 
 scriptions of his adventures. And as luncheon went on, 
 I became more and more silent, the food seemed to 
 choke me I was only conscious of a helpless ache. 
 
 " Adelaide is coming down to-morrow," Hugh an- 
 nounced, as we were leaving the dining-room. " And I 
 do hope, General by the way, I hear you are * Sir 
 Humphrey ' now since I went off ! and I have not 
 congratulated you! Well, Adelaide will be enchanted 
 to see you again do come over and lunch one day 
 and meet her." 
 
 Humphrey accepted heartily, and they settled it for 
 the Wednesday following, and then Hugh said good-bye 
 to me and left with my husband, who intended to walk 
 back with him through the park. 
 
 And as he touched my hand, ungloved now and 
 deadly cold, a strange look grew in his eyes but 
 what it meant, I know not ; and when they were gone, I 
 went out into the garden and paced the walk between 
 the gnarled apple trees ; I felt as though the walls of 
 my turret would have crushed me. I must be out in 
 God's sunlight to get some warmth into my frozen 
 heart.
 
 CHAPTER XXV 
 JUNE, 1908 
 
 XDID not wish to go to Minton Dremont 
 on the Wednesday, but Humphrey insisted 
 upon it. 
 
 " You are beginning to give yourself airs, 
 Guinevere," he snapped. " And the sooner you cease 
 this sort of thing, the better. It is bad enough for a 
 man to have to live all the year round with a white altar 
 statue of a wife as I have to, without her crossing his 
 will when he wants a little amusement." 
 
 My eyes filled with tears, I do not know why, and 
 Humphrey checked himself. 
 
 " It was a damned mistake our marriage," he re- 
 marked, in a different tone, " and it has been deuced 
 hard on me, as I have given you everything, though 
 considering our two ages perhaps you'll say I have no 
 one but myself to blame. But you are the coldest bit 
 of womankind I've ever come across I don't believe 
 any man in the world could have ever made you feel. 
 You were meant to be a nun -r- shut in a convent." 
 
 " I am very sorry," I returned, my voice trem- 
 bling, and the tears, gathering, rolled down my cheeks. 
 " I do not mean to cross your will or do anything ex- 
 cept what you may wish I will go and get ready," 
 and I was turning away, when he came after me and 
 caught hold of my arm. 
 
 " I don't know what these silly tears are for," he 
 266
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 said. " I may be a brute to you sometimes but I am 
 too old to change, Guinevere and I don't mean to 
 try now so you had better learn to put up with me." 
 
 Then he kissed me roughly, and gave me a push to- 
 ward the stairs and I went on and dressed as quickly 
 as I could. And so we came to Minton Dremont. 
 
 Here I fancied Lady Morvaine received us with some 
 faint restraint in her manner, though she was gracious 
 enough, but there lacked her former warmth of personal 
 affection somehow, and it wounded me. Hugh only 
 came in at the last moment, full of apologies for his 
 lateness; he had been seeing some new horses, he ex- 
 plained. 
 
 It was the most lovely day, and all the buzzing noises 
 of happy insects were in the air. It hardly seemed 
 that this could be the dining-room at Minton Dremont 
 its atmosphere was so altered. Humphrey did the 
 entire talking ; he wished to consult Hugh upon the sub- 
 ject of buying a small sailing yacht to cruise about 
 Southampton Water in his doctor had told him it 
 would be the best thing for him, and set him up for a 
 hard winter's hunting again. 
 
 Hugh knew of the very one for him he had just 
 heard of it. 
 
 " You can hire her for this season, General," he said, 
 " and buy her afterward. Her name, strangely enough, 
 is the Guinevere a remarkable coincidence, isn't it ! " 
 and he smiled gaily. 
 
 During the whole meal he had never once met my 
 eyes ; his manner had in it almost an antagonism when 
 he did address me. My unhappiness kept growing and 
 growing in an amazed wonderment at the ways of men. 
 
 Here was this man, who had been my dear and much- 
 loved lover from whom I had parted with bitterest 
 18 267
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 anguish of grief on his side as well as on mine. I had 
 left him with deep resentment against Humphrey and 
 fate and with every vow of undying love to me. And 
 now, in under two years, we meet again as strangers, 
 with never even a kind, tender word as an echo coming 
 from him to me to lighten the darkness of my life, or 
 even a look of sympathy or understanding friendship. 
 The pain of that hour at luncheon burnt into my soul. 
 After it, the two men went off to the stables to see the 
 new horses and I was left with Lady Morvaine but 
 the anguish of everything made talking to her a tor- 
 ture and I hardly heard what she said, until I real- 
 ized she was speaking upon the old subject again. She 
 must have been approaching it with tact for some time, 
 but I had not taken it in I was startled at this sen- 
 tence : 
 
 " Yes, it was a dreadful grief to us when he went off 
 away so far we do so hope nothing will happen to 
 make him wish to do it again. I never cared very much 
 for all Hugh's friends except your dear sister, Lady 
 Langthorpe but I hoped that among their daughters, 
 somehow, he would find a wife." 
 
 " Yes," I murmured. " Well, perhaps he will 
 now." 
 
 " You used to have great influence with him, dear 
 Lady Bohun if you get an opportunity, do please 
 do what you can," she went on. " We are more than 
 anxious now, because Victor Dremont's eldest son has 
 just got into a terrible scrape, and married a very 
 abandoned French dancer, and the second one is wretch- 
 edly consumptive, and so is the younger boy. It is 
 simply heartbreaking for us all." 
 
 I rose to my feet; " I really feel for you," I said, 
 " and I will certainly try what I can do if I get the 
 
 268
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 chance but now I have just remembered something I 
 must send off by this afternoon's post, so if you will 
 say good-bye to Sir Hugh when they come in I will 
 walk home quickly through the park, and leave the car- 
 riage for my husband." 
 
 Human endurance was at an end, I could bear no 
 more. 
 
 She at once offered me the motor, but I refused. To 
 be alone among the green trees that I loved would com- 
 fort me, and bring me strength, I hoped. 
 
 So I went on my way, and I pray that never again 
 can I have in life the same sort of agonizing pain as I 
 suffered then. To be forgotten quite to have passed 
 beyond even friendship with my dear lover, so that there 
 was almost a bitterness in his manner toward me. Well, 
 he might marry whom he pleased now. Life felt over 
 for me. I am not a coward naturally I could not 
 have fought all through these two years if I had been, 
 but when I got to the copse I felt sick and faint in the 
 blazing sunlight, and I climbed the little stile to sit 
 down in the cool shade. The brushwood was all breast 
 high, and with difficulty I pushed my way through to 
 the centre where our old bench had stood. There it 
 was still, and I sank down upon it, exhausted with all 
 the cruel torment I had suffered. I felt too miserable 
 to reason or even to think coherently; just a numb, dull 
 agony, as if everything in me hurt. 
 
 The tears that had been so near to my eyes this 
 morning gathered again. I do not know how long I 
 sat there, anguish makes moments seem hours it may 
 not have been much later, when I heard some one com- 
 ing through the bushes, and I sat still in fear. I hated 
 that a keeper should see me in tears. But the branches 
 parted, and Hugh came forward ! 
 
 269
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " My God ! " he cried and he held out his arms. 
 " Guinevere my darling, to find you so." 
 
 I started to my feet. The intense humiliation that 
 he should come upon me thus, with tearful eyes ! 
 
 " It was very hot," I said, in a strange voice, unlike 
 my own. " I I came in here to get a little shade." 
 
 ** And I came to find you," Hugh answered, anxiety 
 and pain in his tone. " When we got back to the house 
 Adelaide told us you had gone home. The General then 
 said he would drive on into Waref ord so I rushed 
 after you to Redwood but Hartington said you had 
 not returned and I feared I do not know what I 
 feared. I knew I could not have missed you going 
 if you had stuck to the path and then I thought of 
 this our copse, and I came back here as fast as I could, 
 and I find you with tears in those dear eyes Guine- 
 vere " 
 
 But I did not speak. 
 
 " After all these weary months, have you not one 
 word to say to me, dear Love? " he pleaded. 
 
 My knees felt as if they must give way beneath me, 
 and I sank once more down upon the bench he sat 
 beside me, and took both my hands. 
 
 " Guinevere, for God's sake, speak to me ! " he cried. 
 
 " What can I say to you, Hugh," I whispered, hardly 
 aloud. " I do not understand." 
 
 He let go my hands, and clenched his own together. 
 
 " No I ought not to talk to you like this. I 
 thought I had conquered all emotion," he said. " At 
 first, when I went away, it was a sort of madness of 
 agony and then it grew duller and then excitement 
 came with the lust of the hunter and then the inter- 
 est in exploring difficult places but often, the misery 
 of things remembered made me reckless and perfectly 
 
 270
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 indifferent to danger or possible death that is why I 
 escaped all harm I did not care a rush for my life, 
 Guinevere," and he gave a little, bitter laugh. " And 
 then I made myself grow cynical again and forced my- 
 self to try and forget all the beautiful, pure things you 
 had taught me, dear. I wanted to stop the pain 
 somehow and told myself it was undeserved and 
 that I would never have brought it upon myself, be- 
 cause I would never have parted from you and by the 
 time I had got to Paris, I believed I had crushed it. I 
 had regulated the thought of you as you had been to me 
 into something dead and gone out of ray life removed 
 by yourself and I believed I could come home and 
 see you as you now were with safety I ached for 
 home sometimes I did everything I could in Paris to 
 distract myself. I hoped you would look older, and 
 would not attract me so much and then I saw you in 
 church more sweet than ever and in that one in- 
 stant I knew nothing had been of any use, and that I 
 love you and only you in the whole world with the same 
 passionate intensity as ever. Then I was full of defi- 
 ance, so I tried to be brutal I tried to be cold I 
 resented that I should have to go through this awful 
 pain again, Guinevere, but I could not bear it, and when 
 I saw you to-day I had only one mad desire to come 
 after you to tell you I loved you still, to hear you say 
 you loved me. And the moment that I was free I did 
 follow you and now I find you, and your little face is 
 the most pathetic thing I have ever seen. It looks like 
 a sad child's, and it is ethereally beautiful, too, darling: 
 it frightens me. It does not seem of earth, it is 
 so pale and transparent Guinevere Oh ! tell me, 
 sweetheart how has it been with you all these weary 
 days? Tell me " 
 
 271
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " I have fought hard for peace," I said, very low. 
 
 " And have you found it? " he demanded anxiously; 
 and, as I could not answer, he asked again : " And 
 have you found it, Guinevere? " 
 
 "No, Hugh," I faltered at last. "Nothing is 
 changed." 
 
 " You love me still? " and now his voice had a note, 
 of gladness in it and again he took my hands. 
 
 " I have never ceased to love you, Hugh," I told 
 him. " I have never even prayed to do that." 
 
 He held out his dear arms to me, and whispered : 
 
 " Guinevere Oh ! I am starving ! " 
 
 Then time and pain, and anguish and thoughts of the 
 future were all forgotten for a brief moment, while I 
 sank into his fond embrace. Human nature was too 
 strong for us ; we could resist its force no longer. And 
 if the angels were looking on, their hearts are too com- 
 passionate to have blamed us. 
 
 But now I am sitting in my turret chamber alone, 
 holding Petrov tightly in my arms. I feel I must grasp 
 something tangible before I float down the tide of fate 
 Ah ! God whither ?
 
 CHAPTER XXVI 
 AUGUST, 1908 
 
 XT is the first week in August now, and we are 
 all at Cowes Humphrey and Algernon and 
 I on the little yawl, the Guinevere, and Hugh 
 on his large racing schooner, the Hermione 
 at least, the Hermione is here, but Hugh has been in 
 London to-day and returns with Letitia and Lang- 
 thorpe to-night. 
 
 We have spent all July yachting, Humphrey and I, 
 with only old Sir John Kaird, but Hugh has often 
 laeen near us and sailed with us or we with him, and 
 now we have just anchored in Cowes roads for the week. 
 
 I have been feverishly happy I never allow myself 
 to think I stifle every suggestion of the past or the 
 future I live breathlessly from day to day. Hugh is 
 happy, too, but without any repression of thought, be- 
 cause he is a man and free and has a right to live as he 
 chooses. He seems to love me more passionately than 
 ever, as though the ache and abstinence of the long 
 months of separation had to be made up for as 
 though he fears to lose me. He would like never to 
 leave me for an instant, it would seem. 
 
 I am reckless I have never once used subterfuge or 
 acted a lie to Humphrey, so I have not suffered my olo! 
 sense of degradation. I have left it all to fate and 
 if Humphrey discovers that Hugh is my lover, then I 
 will drown myself in the sea before Algernon can 
 
 273
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ever know that is the price I will pay, and it is the 
 kind of one Humphrey would agree to and understand. 
 
 But it seems as though the forces beyond were aiding 
 us, and my husband himself seems to make everything 
 smooth, and throw us easily into each other's company. 
 
 I feel I know now what the French nobles must have 
 felt when they played cards so gaily in the prison, never 
 knowing when it might be their last game on earth, or 
 on which morrow the axe of the guillotine, for them, 
 might fall. 
 
 Once or twice there has been a rough day in the 
 Solent, and it has given both my lover and me pleasure 
 to sail in a tiny boat he has, tearing over the waves 
 together, not caring in the least if one giant should 
 swamp us. A strange, wild, weird joy is exalting us. 
 Humphrey has let me go alone with Hugh without a 
 murmur of dissent. 
 
 " It will do her good, Dremont ! " he has even said. 
 " Buffet her about a bit, and put some heart into her 
 get along ! " 
 
 And these are almost the only times we have been 
 absolutely quite alone. But there have been many dif- 
 ferent hours of sitting on the deck together and talking 
 in happy peace while Humphrey and Sir John moved 
 within view. 
 
 The whole cruise is doing us all good, I think. Away 
 from the ghosts of Redwood Moat, Humphrey is much 
 more genial ana twice we have had the pleasure of 
 running down the Channel for a day and over to France 
 in Hugh's large boat, which is the most comfortably 
 arranged yacht one could imagine. How I adore the 
 sea beautiful, treacherous, passionate thing ! 
 
 Algernon, who came two days ago, is perfectly en- 
 chanted with everything. He is absolutely fearless al- 
 
 274
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ways, and ready to chance any danger if he can only 
 find one to indulge in. He seems to have grown and 
 have got to look older even since Easter. And in his 
 cabin when the steward first unpacked his things I per- 
 ceived several photographs of Comic Opera chorus stars 
 and one with " Rosie " scrawled across it what does 
 this mean, I wonder he stayed in London with his 
 friend Burbridge for two nights at the Morvaine house 
 before joining us here, and I suppose went to the the- 
 atre. Burbridge has left Eton and goes up to Oxford 
 in the autumn. I dare not tell Humphrey, of course 
 and yet it worries me to see these photographs, though 
 there is nothing the least serious in their suggestion. 
 They merely show that the indifference to female blan- 
 dishment which was apparent in the hunting season has 
 been thawed, and it is absurd to look at Algernon any 
 longer as a child. 
 
 Dressed for dinner in his immaculate clothes, he 
 might be almost twenty years old. He is over six feet 
 tall, and not too reedy. He is in the Eleven now, and 
 will play at Lords next year ; this is a tremendous tri- 
 umph for one so young. To-morrow is Saturday, when 
 all the world arrives at Cowes, and we shall land and 
 go into the Squadron Gardens and there I shall see 
 Hugh again and Letitia they arrive too late for 
 us to meet to-night. 
 
 The week is nearly over and it has produced new- 
 phases between us all. I had never been here before, 
 and was greatly charmed with the place and the whole 
 thing. It would not be possible to find in the world, I 
 should think, such another collection of men who look 
 so like gentlemen as those one sees in the Castle Gar- 
 
 275
 
 dens, though the majority of them are quite old. The 
 yachting clothes are particularly becoming, they make 
 any man appear good-looking; but the distinction and 
 that peculiar ease and sans gene are all their own. 
 
 The Squadron Gardens is a place, too, like Eton, 
 ruled by unwritten laws which are as of the Medes 
 and Persians in their rigid changelessness. Woe to the 
 stranger who transgresses them ! his time there will 
 be brief. 
 
 Humphrey met countless old friends, who chaffed him 
 for having been hidden from the world so long, and he 
 became in the best of tempers; we had invitations all 
 the time to lunches, and dinners on the other yachts. 
 
 This sort of very neat yachting garment suits me, I 
 suppose, for Letitia told me I was greatly admired, and 
 certainly for the first time in my life I seem to be sur- 
 rounded constantly by agreeable men, and Hugh's eyes 
 often have the pupils large, and but for Letitia he would 
 do reckless things. It has been fine nearly all the time, 
 too, and we have been able to go ashore and listen to 
 the band in the evenings, seated in those comfortable 
 basket-chairs and it is then that sometimes my lover 
 is able to whisper to me, and he grows more passionately 
 fond each day. This is the first time he has ever seen 
 me at ease, surrounded by interesting people, and not 
 snubbed continually by my husband, who is too busy 
 here amusing himself to notice me, or what I am doing ; 
 and it has added new zest to his lore. 
 
 In London with Letitia's friends, I was too much on 
 my guard ever to be natural or at ease with any of 
 them, and so could not shine at all. At Cowes, that 
 particular set of women are not much represented. Ex- 
 cept Lady Hilda Flint and Letitia herself not one 
 of them who matter is here they do not care for 
 
 276
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 yachting, it would seem. I am so glad of that; I feel 
 free! 
 
 " Winnie and Ermyntrude simply loathe the sea," 
 Letitia said, when I asked why they were not tearing 
 after Hugh as usual. " And Ada has to go to Scotland 
 they have somehow always allowed him to have this 
 week to himself by a sort of tacit understanding. It is 
 a mercy, isn't it, considering that now he is back in 
 England they are keener than ever to reconstruct the 
 circle at Minton Dremont and to consolidate it by mar- 
 rying him off to any one of them that they can ! " 
 
 I laughed, knowing how deliciously futile their efforts 
 would be. 
 
 To-morrow there are to be fireworks, and on Satur- 
 day numbers of people go away, and next week we give 
 up the Guinevere and return to Redwood Moat, much 
 to Algernon's sorrow. 
 
 There is weeping rain to-day, and I do not know how 
 to write but I must try so as to collect all my cour- 
 age for something terrible has happened and the j oy 
 and desire of living is over for me, and I must face an 
 existence now which seems more cruel than death. For 
 in my code of religion we have none of us the right to 
 take our own lives to try to escape from merely per- 
 sonal misery that course is only justified when it is 
 taken to save the consequences of our actions from fall- 
 ing upon the innocent souls we are responsible for. I 
 would willingly step quietly over the yacht's side now 
 into the gray rain-beaten waters if that would bring me 
 annihilation and so peace but my soul would only 
 wander for cycles of misery, unquiet and pitiful, as is 
 the Lady Margaret's soul burdened by my broken 
 
 277
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 responsibility to my son, who has not yet grown to full 
 man's estate. 
 
 No I must live that is the price that circum- 
 stances now oblige me to pay for breaking the law of 
 man and whatever comes I must bear it with a calm 
 face. 
 
 Last night the night of the fireworks we all 
 dined on shore at " Egypt," where a merry party is 
 staying, and there was one gallant Irishman who began 
 immediately at dinner to make love to me, and this 
 drove Hugh perfectly mad ; he was sitting opposite, and 
 Humphrey on the same side of the table. There was no 
 mistaking the purport of the Irishman's speeches, and 
 his attitude and whole manner expressed the most elab- 
 orate devotion. The last two days have been extremely 
 difficult for Hugh and me; we have not once had a 
 chance to be for an instant alone, and, as ever, the irri- 
 tation of these restrictions has acted upon him to pro- 
 duce the same passionate unrest. 
 
 His face at dinner was thunderous with jealous fury. 
 I spent a time of terror, in case Humphrey or any of 
 the rest of the party would notice it. The moment we 
 had finished we all moved out into the garden together 
 to have our coffee quickly, so as to get back to the 
 Squadron Gardens in time for the fireworks. The amor- 
 ous Irishman was making his way to me when Hugh de- 
 liberately stepped in front of him and sat down in the 
 chair and with supreme insolence then apologized to 
 Captain O'Gorman, but did not attempt to give up the 
 seat! 
 
 His eyes were flashing as he whispered to me : 
 
 " Guinevere I will not bear it. You belong to me ; 
 how dared you let that brute sprawl over you at din- 
 ner!"
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 For the first time in our knowledge of one another, I 
 fired up and answered haughtily: 
 
 " How dare you speak to me like that? " 
 
 His face quivered with angry pain, while he drew in 
 his breath and shut his lips like a vise. I repented in- 
 stantly ; it was just the Ferrer's spirit in me which arose 
 at being spoken to by my lover so sharply, it was not 
 that I resented his assumption of authority I admit- 
 ted and gloried in that. 
 
 " Hugh," I whispered contritely, " I am sorry 
 dearest, please forgive me I did not mean that. 
 Of course, you have a right to scold me if you 
 choose." 
 
 His stern face changed immediately, and, reckless of 
 all outsiders' possible observation, he bent over me with 
 an expression of deep emotion. 
 
 " I don't want to scold you, darling," he said in my 
 ear. " I am simply wild with the torment of things. I 
 have grown to love you absolutely to madness lately 
 far more than ever and it drives me completely crazy 
 when I see another man making love to you, and I know 
 that I have not the right openly to interfere and that 
 a few whispers in the Gardens or a snatched kiss in the 
 dark, are all the crumbs of comfort I shall get perhaps 
 for days and days Guinevere, I have been so awfully 
 unhappy this week, I do not know how to bear my 
 life." 
 
 An icy-cold pain stabbed me. This is the first time 
 Hugh has ever said that the situation is causing his 
 existence to be darkened. I could not speak for a mo- 
 ment, it hurt me so. If our love was bringing him tor- 
 ture, then we ought to part again, I felt. 
 
 Before I found my words, a general move was made, 
 all to get into the fiies which were waiting the first 
 
 279
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 rocket had gone up. And, seized by Humphrey, I was 
 separated from Hugh; and he did not rejoin me again 
 until we were standing just outside the entrance to the 
 Castle platform in a blaze of the light of a set-piece of 
 the King and Queen. 
 
 He came up behind me, and he whispered, his voice 
 vibrating with passion : 
 
 " Guinevere, the General is now going back to play 
 bridge at * Egypt ' Algernon is talking to the Wei- 
 brooks in that jolly young party, and the moment this 
 glare is over they will all go and listen to the music as 
 they did last night, without his joining us. And the 
 music does not finish until eleven o'clock, as you know. 
 Directly every one turns back toward the band, say 
 good night to our hostess, put your scarf over your 
 head, and go down to the landing stage, my launch will 
 be waiting, very few of the other yachts' boats are there 
 as yet. I shall already be in it, and we will go off to 
 the Hermione and have an hour in peace. Then I will 
 take you to the Guinevere and return in time to pick up 
 Algernon, telling him you were tired and went straight 
 on board. The Guinevere's boat is to wait for the 
 General." 
 
 He did not remain for my reply, but stepped in 
 among the crowd, and I was too moved and miserable 
 to think of disobeying him. 
 
 Letitia was nowhere about ; she was dining on another 
 yacht, and had not landed at all to-night. There was 
 nothing particularly compromising in my going off from 
 the steps in Hugh's launch it had taken us all often 
 before, and I might really have been returning to our 
 boat. But still it was the first time my lover has ever 
 chanced anything for me. The passion in him must 
 certainly have risen to a terrible height. 
 
 280
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 But the lights and the crowd generated excitement, 
 and I felt I did not care what happened; I must see 
 and speak to Hugh in peace. 
 
 It reminded me of the old day at Victoria Station 
 when I met him to go to Richmond Park, as I walked 
 down the squadron landing stage to the launch and 
 there got in with what calmness I could. Hugh was 
 waiting for me, and we flew over the smooth waters 
 the Hermione was lying fairly close in, and we seemed to 
 arrive in no time ; we had not spoken a word, as Hugh 
 steered. 
 
 "Lord and Lady Langthorpe returned yet?" he 
 asked cheerily of the first mate who helped us on 
 board and " Not yet, Sir Hugh," was the expected 
 answer he got; and we went beyond the deck house, 
 where the comfortable chairs are grouped, and where 
 the sailors, when the ship is at anchor, never come at 
 this hour of the night. There in the shadows Hugh 
 clasped me in his arms, and then he spoke, his dear 
 voice deep with emotion : 
 
 " I am perfectly mad, Guinevere. I love you so it 
 is reckless of me to make you come here, perhaps ; but 
 I am beyond that I cannot bear any more torment 
 to-night." 
 
 I felt I understood this, and oh! it was so divine to 
 be with him again after our checks and frets. We sat 
 there watching the stars blissfully content at last, all 
 ruffled sensations between us smoothed now in the hap- 
 piness of being together alone, and never has Hugh 
 been more adorably tender and fond and worshipping, 
 and never have I loved him with more profound depth. 
 We seemed to be at the zenith of joy all shadows 
 forgotten and all fears lulled to rest. I shall always 
 remember the beauty of the scene around us, with the 
 
 281
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 illuminated fairy yachts, and the glorious summer star- 
 lit sky above. 
 
 " Oh, soul of me ! " Hugh whispered. " If we could 
 sink down into the dark-blue waters and stay forever 
 thus together for eternity how good it would 
 be." 
 
 And I sighed a fond " yes." 
 
 But we were startled from this exquisite dreaming 
 by hearing the echoes of " God save the King ! " wafted 
 over the still sea from the gardens, and we rose quickly 
 to our feet! 
 
 The band was over, and by no possible hurrying 
 could I be back on the Guinevere and Hugh at the 
 steps before Algernon would be standing there waiting 
 for him. Hugh would have to invent an excuse. A 
 chill of foreboding crept over me I do not know why 
 and we both hastened into the waiting launch and 
 made all speed to our yawl, and there leaning over 
 the rail was Algernon ! who hailed us. 
 
 " Is that you, mother ? Where on earth have you 
 been? They told me you had gone in Sir Hugh's 
 launch I came in our boat soon after you, my beastly 
 nose began to bleed, and I hadn't a second handker- 
 chief." 
 
 Hugh followed me up the gangway on to the deck, 
 and there my heart seemed to stop beating for a sec- 
 ond for when the light of the lantern fell on my 
 son's face it seemed as though a suspicious sardonic 
 gleam lurked in his eyes. 
 
 It was then that Hugh's nerve and sang froid showed 
 itself. 
 
 " Your mother has been on the Hermione with me 
 quite safe," he said, with imperturbable calm. " She 
 was so weary of standing about at the fireworks that I
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 took her there to have some coffee in peace," and then 
 he turned to me. 
 
 " Don't think of remaining up for me now, Lady 
 Bohun, since Algernon is here. If he isn't very tired 
 I'll stay with him and have my cigar while I wait for 
 the General. I want to settle about sailing round to 
 Ventnor to-morrow, and we ought to arrange things 
 to-night. We will have to make such an early start.'* 
 
 His manner was the perfection of naturalness, 
 neither too effusive nor too stiff, and we said a friendly 
 good night, and, kissing Algernon, I disappeared be- 
 low, leaving my lover and my son alone together 
 there under the stars. 
 
 And I knew when I sank trembling on to the sofa in 
 my cabin that Hugh had saved me for this time, but 
 that nothing could ever remove suspicion from Alger- 
 non's Bohun mind, if ever it had occasion to be aroused 
 again. No I was face to face with that other awful 
 side of the case not the smirching of my own soul 
 this time from the stooping to dissimulate to my hus- 
 band, but the even more terrible aspect of destroying 
 my son's belief in his mother and raising doubts of her 
 in his heart. 
 
 Then, like a ghastly flash of lightning blasting my 
 brain, came the realization that the end had come 
 the very end, and with a moan I fell forward upon the 
 cabin floor. 
 
 19
 
 CHAPTER XXVII 
 
 long-drawn-out anguish of these awful 
 days. It rained incessantly without a breath 
 of wind the whole of the Saturday until late 
 in the afternoon, and we were not able to go 
 for our sail. Hugh came on board in the morning early 
 to consult with Humphrey as to what to do ; but, being 
 aware my husband had already decided not to try to 
 start, I did not go up on deck. I felt too broken and 
 feeble after my night of misery to be able to face Hugh, 
 knowing the agonizing things I should have to say to 
 him, when next we could be alone. It was better that 
 he should be able to be natural with Humphrey and 
 Algernon once more before he knew. I heard them all 
 laughing and swearing at the rain, then the noise of 
 another boat's arriving, and Algernon's penetrating 
 voice asking if he might accept the invitation the Wei- 
 brooks had just sent to go on board their steam yacht, 
 and steam with them round the island and stay and 
 dine. They could have such jolly fun, and did not 
 mind the rain. 
 
 Humphrey assented, and Algernon gave a joyous 
 shout, and, clambering down the companion, burst into 
 my cabin with hardly a knock. 
 
 "You are lazy, mum!" he exclaimed, "lying on 
 that sofa. The Welbrooks have asked me to go with 
 them for the day, and father has said I may. I haven't 
 a moment good-bye," and he gave me a hurried kiss 
 and rushed off, and soon I heard the splash of oars, and 
 knew he was on his way. 
 
 284
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I felt, as he was gone, I must make the chance to 
 see Hugh somehow. 
 
 I got up and went on deck, and called out good 
 morning, and Hugh and Humphrey came from the bows 
 and j oined me in the little deck house descending 
 with me to the saloon. 
 
 ** Is Letitia up yet? " I asked. " I do want to see 
 her to-day; we have all been too busy to have a word, 
 the whole week but in this awful wet she can't want 
 to do anything will you take me back with you, Sir 
 Hugh? " 
 
 " Yes, do," said Humphrey, " and then drop me 
 ashore I shall go and have a game of bridge at 
 ' Egypt,' and ask for some luncheon after. The sea is 
 sickening in this weather." 
 
 So we started, the launch going on with Humphrey, 
 after taking Hugh and me to the Hermione. Letitia 
 was not up, of course, or even awake, Langthorpe told 
 us ; he was comfortably smoking in the deck house, with 
 all the morning papers ; so Hugh and I went down alone 
 into the saloon. It is perfectly arranged, with its 
 white panelling and blue curtains, and it has a piano 
 and plenty of light. 
 
 " I want to play to you, Hugh," I said, after he had 
 folded me in his arms. There was an anxious, ques- 
 tioning look in his dear eyes, as they gared into 
 mine. I could not speak of terrible things yet 
 with certainly two hours of undisturbed peace in 
 front of us and I could not talk ordinarily of 
 other matters; and with my heart aching and seared 
 with pain, to make music was the best way to comfort 
 us both. 
 
 " Guinevere," Hugh said, as he opened the piano for 
 me. " I know, I feel there is something darling " 
 
 85
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and then he seized me wildly in his arms again. " Oh ! 
 God ! " he whispered brokenly, " I am afraid to 
 think what it is. Yes, play to me, dear." 
 
 Then he went and flung himself into the corner of 
 the great, deep wall sofa, where he could watch my 
 face sideways and there he sat, his tall form 
 crouched together, his attitude constrained. 
 
 I played and played for an hour, perhaps every 
 sort of angel's song, and my own soul floated up in the 
 divine sounds I seemed to see a bright light beyond 
 the awful abyss of pain. 
 
 At last I played him a new thing that I had Just 
 got a modern thing, but one of astonishing meaning 
 and pathos and all this time Hugh had not stirred 
 beyond a passionate clasping of his hands once or 
 twice. Then I played the " Farewell " the tears 
 gathering in my eyes ran in big drops down my 
 cheeks. 
 
 And my dear lover rose and, coming over, knelt be- 
 side me, and drew me close. 
 
 " Ah ! God ! Beloved ! " he said, his voice so hoarse 
 with suffering it did not sound like his own. " That is 
 what you mean, Guinevere. I knew it would come 
 last night directly I saw Algernon's face." 
 
 " You understand, then," I murmured, with a sob in 
 my throat. " Hugh we could not love like we do if 
 our souls were so unfine that they could face the 
 possibility of that." 
 
 " Yes," he said, in anguish. " And to think that, if 
 I had not let passion conquer me last night the ne- 
 cessity to part might never have arisen," then he 
 groaned as though his very being was wrung with 
 agony. " Oh my God, what hideous suffering ! 
 what weaklings we all are ! " 
 
 286
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 It is a terrible, an awesome thing, to see a strong 
 man cry and as the tears poured down my lover's 
 face, and sobs shook his frame, reason seemed to leave 
 me. At that moment, I felt I would give my life my 
 soul to assuage his grief. 
 
 "Hugh," I sobbed, "my darling, my lover Oh! 
 God in heaven! what can I do to bring you comfort. 
 Hugh, this is breaking my heart." 
 
 He controlled himself then and leaned his head 
 against my shoulder as he knelt there and once more 
 encircled me with his arms. 
 
 " Guinevere my darling, must it be so ? " and all 
 the pleading of the world seemed melted in his dear 
 voice. " I will promise I will faithfully promise 
 never again to give way to anything that would create 
 a situation that you need fear. I have not the pluck 
 to face again the awful agony of parting from you. 
 You don't you can't know what you mean to me 
 more than anything in heaven or earth. You can judge 
 of the colossal importance you are, because I am a 
 man .with the strongest passions, as you know, and 
 accustomed all my life to gratify them when I fancied, 
 though I am not altogether a brute. And I am willing 
 to crush them all out to live like a priest never to 
 touch you, never to kiss you never to hold you in my 
 arms again if you will only let me see your wor- 
 shipped face, and hear your voice, and live in your 
 atmosphere Guinevere I would rather be dead 
 than separated altogether." 
 
 " Hugh," I answered, my words almost incoherent 
 with misery. " There would be no use in your promis- 
 ing those things, dear lover because I am not so 
 strong I could not so master myself and the mo- 
 ment would come when I should ask you to take me back 
 
 287
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 into your arms and break all vows. If the strength 
 of your love for me shows in your willingness to try to 
 crush that which is so strongly one of your attributes, 
 mine for you shows equally in the passionate, mad emo- 
 tion for you which you fill me with emotion which is 
 entirely foreign to my natural feelings and character 
 for to all others I am, and always will be, ' ice to the 
 moon.' .Hugh I love you so I know now I could 
 never be friends, even if you could. So we must part 
 for ever in this world, my lover. You must go away 
 again, and use all your will this time to forget me 
 and then come back and do your duty to your family 
 and your race. I cannot yet ask you to marry another 
 woman but that day must come. And as those who 
 take the veil and are dead to the world I will live 
 on in my prison-house, and do my duty as best I am 
 able to my husband and my son and, some day, God 
 will give us peace because our souls will be free, and 
 not blackened with any degradation. Hugh kiss me 
 a farewell." 
 
 And with a sob of agony that still rings in my ears, 
 my lover pressed his lips to mine in a passionate good- 
 bye and while he still held me to him, Letitia entered 
 the saloon. She stopped for a second with a kindly 
 smile in her eyes, and then she took in the meaning of 
 the situation, and she came toward us, her cheery, glow- 
 ing face full of sorrow and concern. 
 
 " My dear children " she began, when Hugh inter- 
 rupted her : he rose to his feet, and I rose, too and 
 then he took my hand. 
 
 " Letitia," he said, " my darling is one of God's 
 angels she knows best and we must part. Be the 
 dear you are, and help us to get through the hours 
 until Monday like gentlepeople. My best, old friend." 
 
 288
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 And for the first time in her life, that I have ever 
 seen her, my sister sat down upon the sofa and burst 
 into floods of tears. 
 
 Now I am up in Cheshire, and Humphrey is here, 
 too, while Algernon stays at the Morvaine's and 
 while my husband and my brother-in-law walk and ride 
 together, Letitia showers kind common-sense and af- 
 fection upon me so we get through the days. And I 
 know neither my dear lover nor I will ever cease to re- 
 member her goodness to us during that ghastly Satur- 
 day and Sunday, or her tact and wisdom. I think we 
 all played the game as we should have done 
 and no one, even Langthorpe, had the least idea of 
 the tragedy that was taking place in Hugh's life or 
 mine. 
 
 I shall keep the picture always of the Hermione as 
 she passed our moorings, early on the Monday morn- 
 ing, like a great white seagull, her sails set; and I 
 caught a glimpse of Hugh, and he raised his yachting 
 cap in greeting, and then turned abruptly away and 
 I knew, if I could have seen them, that his dear, blue 
 eyes were wet. 
 
 Soon now we are going back to Redwood Moat again 
 for Algernon to shoot partridges, and there the 
 round of my old life will begin once more and I must 
 not be a coward or give way to pain. It will not be as 
 it was before, with some vague subconscious hope that 
 fate would be kind and that after conquering emotion 
 Hugh would return and be freinds. Now the severance 
 is as of death. For when he comes back to live at 
 Minton Dremont, I must face the thought that he will 
 marry, and that I shall see another woman in our gar- 
 
 289
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 den and our house and that she, and not I, will lie 
 next his heart. 
 
 Oh! God give me strength and make me numb- 
 er dead before that day comes.
 
 CHAPTER XXVIII 
 JUNE, 1910 
 
 flies even when it is one long pain ; if it 
 i s monotonous, the days and weeks go by and 
 leave no mark. 
 
 It seemed the first thing which caused me to 
 take any heed of events was when Algernon's Christmas 
 holidays came round that first year. They brought 
 continuous rows and disagreeables with his father. The 
 influence of Redwood Moat seemed to reassert itself 
 soon after we returned from Cheshire, and Humphrey 
 resumed his gloomy, irritable manner when it is im- 
 possible to please him. He was strongly resentful of 
 my pale looks. What was the use, he said, of taking 
 me to the sea and giving up a whole month to my 
 amusement, yachting, if as soon as I came back to my 
 home I should begin to droop again and " go white 
 about the gills? " 
 
 I did not venture to remind him that the yacht had 
 been hired upon his account, and not upon mine. I 
 just remained meekly silent, as usual. I feel and know 
 I am more than tiresome, and that a great deal can be 
 said for Humphrey in his having to put up with such 
 a wife. But I do not know what to do or how to make 
 myself different. I try in every way to please him by 
 listening to his stories, and being ready to do anything 
 he may want; but a blank, appalling indifference is 
 always upon me, just as if only the actual machinery of 
 
 291
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 existence were left to me and none of the mental sensa- 
 tions, and then there will come fits of violent grief and 
 emotion, at lengthy intervals, when I can no longer 
 master myself but stay all night sobbing by the east 
 window, waiting for the dawn. Next day after this, I 
 will grow quiet again and pick up the threads with re- 
 newed determination to overcome my weakness and take 
 some interest in life. 
 
 The astonishing part is that I am not aging much. 
 The intense, unvarying monotony of my life seems to 
 keep everything at a standstill, and but that my eyes 
 are " unfathomable pools of resignation," as Letitia 
 describes them, I am not altered at all, she says. I am 
 glad at this, because in every woman's heart there is a 
 hope that she may long keep that which once pleased 
 her lover. 
 
 Algernon is developing a stronger taste than ever for 
 horses and racing and hunting. He knows every thor- 
 oughbred by name and pedigree that is going to run 
 in the year, and in some moods Humphrey will encour- 
 age him, and in some, snub him ; and then, when Alger- 
 non has left the room, turn angrily and rail at me about 
 his tastes. And when I defend the boy and venture to 
 say that I think Humphrey's methods with him are un- 
 just, he turns upon me, and says I always cross him. 
 The situation is so impossibly difficult, it is unimagin- 
 able. Letitia comes down to see us when she can, and 
 rarely I am allowed to go and stay for a day or two 
 with her. And when I am there in London I try to be 
 gay and human again, but it is all a hopeless pretence 
 life and joy and the meaning of all things left me 
 with the parting from my lover. 
 
 And of him some news is heard from time to time. 
 He stayed yachting all the summer and into the au- 
 
 292
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 tumn, and then started upon an expedition with another 
 man to shoot big game, going from there for more 
 explorations, and did not return to England until the 
 following June. Letitia saw him then in London 
 very changed, she thought him. He did not once men- 
 tion me, my sister said; they avoided the subject as one 
 avoids speaking to a recent widower of his dead wife. 
 Hugh was cynical and bitter in his general view of 
 things, and his adoring group of friends buzzed round 
 him in vain. Then he went off to shoot in Scotland, 
 and then abroad to the Rocky Mountains, and from 
 there all over America, and Minton Dremont has seen 
 him only for an isolated day, and we at Redwood Moat 
 not at all. The neighborhood wonder greatly and la- 
 ment, and go on hoping .he will settle down. For me, 
 I do not think I could bear to see him again, and yet I 
 must face the thought, and that other thought that 
 some day he will marry. 
 
 I have once more the strange sensation of waiting 
 for something, an extraordinary expectancy which de- 
 stroys my numbed peace. It grows so strong at times 
 that I start and glance eagerly at the letters when they 
 come, I know not why, nor what I exp'ect to find. Al- 
 gernon's summer holidays last year were spent yachting 
 with us on the Guinevere, and, as before, as soon as 
 Humphrey got away from Redwood Moat, his temper 
 and all improved. I do not know anything about what 
 it is which haunts this place, but there is certainly some 
 sinister influence overshadowing it. 
 
 Petrov is a very large cat now; he is six years old, 
 but he still adores me, and, I hope, will live for much 
 longer, to comfort me. I had one time of pride and 
 pure joy, when I saw Algernon play at Lords for Eton. 
 For those two days all sorrows seemed forgotten, and 
 
 293
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 nothing but a gladness and exultation filled me as I 
 watched eacli ball. And this year I hope it will happen 
 again. As a picture of splendid, gloriously beautiful 
 youth, Algernon is faultless. His sue -esses in the hunt- 
 ing-field went on through both the Christmas holidays 
 of this year and last, and now he is eighteen, and a man 
 of the world! And this will be his 1 st year at Eton. 
 In the autumn he is to go to Sandhurst. Altogether, 
 he seems to enjoy himself. 
 
 He appears utterly indifferent about women, except 
 those chorus ladies whose photographs he has ; and 
 often he gives utterance to exactly his father's senti- 
 ments regarding the sex, that brutal matter-of-factness 
 as to their uses and place, which leaves me cold with 
 disgust. He is impervious to any influence of man or 
 woman, but his recklessly fearless going in the hunting- 
 field is winning him respect, just as his prowess at 
 cricket does at Eton. I do not know who loves him, 
 though, besides myself, and sometimes he repels even me 
 and turns me to stone. 
 
 He never chases Petrov now ; there is a kind of armed 
 truce of mutual hatred and contempt between them. 
 
 I have tried and tried to interest him and obtain 
 some softening influence upon him, but in vain. As time 
 goes on, he grows more widely at variance with my 
 every point of view. And when the conversation is not 
 upon sport, he is frankly bored. 
 
 Humphrey dislikes staying away from home, and will 
 only go for a shooting visit as the rarest thing; and 
 this last autumn was again very much crippled with 
 gout. Doctor Burnley has warned him to be careful 
 of himself. His fits of rage now leave him quite pros- 
 trated, and only a fortnight ago, furious with a groom 
 who had let down one of the horses, he swore until he
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 was inarticulate, and then had some sort of a small fit. 
 He was in bed for two or three days, and I sat with him 
 for hours, holding his hand and stroking it. I feel a 
 deep and great pity for him. 
 
 " Guinevere," he said, after a long silence, " I sup- 
 pose it was a d d shame my marrying you so yoang. 
 
 I think of it is I lie here. How old are you now, child ? 
 Hardly thirty- six, and I am getting on for seventy. 
 Well, I have made you as happy as I can, and, fortu- 
 nately, you are as cold as ice." 
 
 " You have always been very good to me, Hum- 
 phrey," I responded, " and I want to do everything I 
 can to make you happy now." 
 
 He pulled me close to him and kissed me. 
 
 " If I'd ever been able to make you love me, it would 
 have been all different ; but you couldn't help that, nor 
 I, either so we must not encourage snivelling regrets. 
 I thought I should soon teach you you were such a 
 chit, and I had never had any difficulty with women. 
 But it was a mistake, and now everything is too late." 
 
 I put my cheek against his strong old hand, and 
 rubbed it, but I could not speak, and to my surprise 
 his hard brown eyes grew glistening and, dragging his 
 hand away from me roughly, and taking a pinch of 
 snuff, he seized his handkerchief and violently blew his 
 nose. 
 
 " There, get along, girl," he said. " I am tired, and 
 shall go to sleep." 
 
 Of what use are any soft feelings if there is some- 
 thing in you which makes you ashamed to show them 
 even to your nearest and dearest? But this interview 
 left me very sad. 
 
 Algernon only escaped by the merest chance from 
 being expelled from Eton in the summer half last year. 
 
 295
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 He went off to Ascot and was very nearly caught, and 
 only long afterward, at the end of the holidays, he 
 owned to me that he had lost a good deal of money and 
 was in a very unpleasant scrape. I paid it, of course, 
 out of what is my own, and he promised not to do this 
 again. It worried me greatly, not for the amount 
 which was, however, quite enough but for what these 
 tastes presage for the future. 
 
 Easter is over and past; it fell so early this year, 
 and our usual spring has passed, and now it is June 
 again. I wonder if complete numbness will ever come 
 to me when the mention of Hugh's name will fall upon 
 my ears with indifference, when I can pass the days 
 without repressing my thoughts of him, when I can live 
 naturally, however quietly. 
 
 This evening's post brought a letter from Letitia. 
 She has just gone back to London for the rest of the 
 season after Whitsuntide, and is full in her usual round. 
 The whole of her friends and society generally are con- 
 vulsed, she says, at the advent of one of the most lovely 
 girls any one has ever seen. She is the daughter of the 
 penniless and eccentric Lord Catesby, who twenty years 
 ago married a beautiful American, who died when the 
 girl was born. Letitia says there was some story about 
 the mother no one appears to remember what in 
 any case, the girl has been brought up in the wildest 
 way among servants and stable boys and huntsmen, and 
 then a polish of Paris to finish up. 
 
 " She is the most modern creature I have ever seen," 
 Letitia writes. " I should think there is nothing of life 
 she does not know. She is as beautiful as a goddess 
 tall and most voluptuously proportioned, with bright 
 blue eyes, pink-and-white skin, and ripe, corn-colored 
 golden hair; a perfect mass of frizzy curls everywhere, 
 
 296
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 She has no charm just a brilliant dash and ruthless- 
 ness, and no brains, either; but she has an effect upon 
 every man who comes near her. Freddy Burgoyne is 
 crazy about her, and Bobby L'Estrange, too. Winnie 
 is so cross ! The girl interests me in some queer way ; 
 she reminds me so of Algernon, she has that downright 
 utter want of sentiment he has. She is nineteen. Hilda 
 Flint is taking her out; they are second cousins, so we 
 all see a great deal of her. She does not care in the 
 least what she says, or does, and will rattle out a bete, 
 impossible thing, making every one squirm, and then she 
 will laugh and show all her row of perfect white teeth 
 and look so divinely lovely that no man minds. She 
 can't keep a maid, she has such fits of temper, and 
 Hilda says she can't speak a word of truth. She has 
 odd tricks, too; she will abstract the sugar out of the 
 sugar-bowls and munch it in her room. She likes it 
 better than bonbons, which her father has forbidden her 
 to have. I don't know why I am writing all this, Guine- 
 vere, as it can't interest you, only, for some strange 
 reason, as I said before, she reminds me of Algernon, a 
 glorious creature, without an atom of soul." 
 
 I sat a long time thinking over this description. Is 
 it true, then? has Algernon no soul? Oh, my dear 
 boy ! What am I to do for him ? I am afraid to look 
 ahead, because whatever rushing torrent he plunges 
 into I am absolutely powerless to prevent him so 
 things must go on. 
 
 Hugh has returned to England. He is in London. 
 Letitia told me this immediately she knew it, but since 
 then I have not heard from her for over a fortnight. 
 Humphrey also told me that Hugh had arrived; he 
 
 297
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 heard it at the bench, and there are great rejoicings 
 among his people at Minton Dremont. 
 
 " He will surely marry now and settle down," my 
 husband said. " I suppose he was hankering after that 
 Dalison woman or some other- men are often 
 d d fools." 
 
 Oh, what a poor creature I am, that all this should 
 give me such pain that after almost two years again 
 I love Hugh with the same intensity as ever, and his 
 actions are of supreme importance to me; all my 
 prayers for numbness and self-control have been of no 
 avail. 
 
 I tell myself every morning that I must face whatever 
 comes bravely, and I always pray for his happiness, my 
 dear love alas ! no more to be my lover. But the feel- 
 ing of waiting and expectancy grows and grows until 
 sometimes at night I pace up and down from my room 
 to the turret chamber, backward and forward, too agi- 
 tated to sleep. 
 
 Letitia has written her letter came by the first 
 post, and before I opened it something made me know it 
 contained eventful news. I read my other correspond- 
 ence first; there was some feverish reluctance to break 
 the seal of her envelope but I did at last, and this is 
 what I read: 
 
 " I am telling you something, Guinevere, so that you 
 may not presently read news in the paper which may 
 distress you. We have not talked of Hugh in these 
 years, because, as your parting with him was final, there 
 would have been no use in my keeping the flame alight 
 by speaking of him. But I have always felt, dear, that 
 
 298
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 you have not forgotten him. Your little face, Guine- 
 vere, is the saddest I know; the whole thing is a 
 wretched pain to look back upon, and I wish I had 
 never helped you to enjoy life. Your dignity and quiet 
 acceptance of fate and your duty have won my deepest 
 admiration, darling, and perhaps to you, in some way, 
 the past has been worth while. Now I must come to the 
 point and tell you Hugh is changed, and while he still 
 is awfully attractive more so than ever, perhaps 
 to the general public, he seems to have lost that some- 
 thing which made him so dear in our happy spring- 
 time. His face is harder and more cynical than it ever 
 used to be, even in the old days before you altered it 
 with your influence. And he is infatuated with 
 Kathleen do you remember the girl I told you of, 
 that Hilda is taking out ? Lord Catesby's daughter. 
 He dined with me the first night after he arrived, and 
 we talked of his future, and he said that Adelaide and 
 Mrs. Forrester-Lily, his younger sister, you know 
 had never let him alone about marrying, and the whole 
 situation, with Victor Dremont's son's mesalliance, was 
 so hateful that he meant now to look about and find 
 one sensible and not too young, who would leave him 
 alone. We went on to the theatre very late, and there 
 in a box was Kathleen, surrounded, as usual, by a num- 
 ber of young men. I saw it in a second, she struck that 
 side of him which has slept since Mrs. Dalison's day 
 the brute side the side which, in fact, she strikes in 
 all men. I would not introduce him in the hall coming 
 out, and I got him to come back to supper with me 
 alone at home; but I knew it would be no good. Once 
 a woman has that attraction for a man, angels from 
 heaven could not stop him. So, Guinevere, I have just 
 sat back and watched it with disgust, Hilda giving me 
 20 299
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the private news of it all the time. The girl has been 
 having an affair with a sweet boy in the Guards; no 
 one knows how far it has gone or if they were secretly 
 engaged, but the moment Hugh and his position and his 
 wealth came on to the horizon, Hilda said she gnashed 
 her white teeth, laughed that metallic laugh of hers, 
 flashed her blue eyes, and said : 
 
 " ' I mean to have this rich old man.' 
 
 " I am not sparing you anything, Guinevere, darling, 
 because I want your contempt to cure the pain. Then, 
 Hilda says, her cunning has been too wonderful. She 
 has acted the innocent baby, cast the flashing blue eyes 
 down demurely, made everything as difficult for Hugh 
 as she can, and has brought him to a point when he is 
 only waiting for the chance to propose to her. I have 
 not heard he may have done it already in the last 
 three days. He has avoided me as you can imagine 
 and I cannot tell him, in any case, all that I know of 
 her; because of you, my tongue is tied. So we are all 
 powerless, and must just watch him our dear old 
 friend going over the weir. Anything more unsuit- 
 able than she will be in the role of a great lady at 
 Minton Dremont you cannot imagine, or any one in 
 character more unsuitable to Hugh. But he is blind 
 and deaf, of course, and only sees her white skin and 
 her golden hair. I won't say any more, dearest. I 
 think it is kindest to cut straight in with a sharp knife. 
 Pull yourself together, darling little sister, and, as ever, 
 come up to the scratch. 
 
 " All love and sympathy from 
 
 " Your LETITIA." 
 
 I have had several terrible moments in my life, but 
 these, the most cruel of all, produced in me for a while 
 
 300
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 only a sensation of physical cold. I shivered, and my 
 teeth chattered. I did not seem to be able to think, or 
 feel mental pain and then gradually the hideous an- 
 guish came and grew intensified, until I lay in silent 
 agony in my bed. 
 
 For the first time since my illness four years ago, I 
 was unable to go down to breakfast, and Humphrey 
 actually came up to see me after the second post was in, 
 which brings the London papers. 
 
 He came over and sat on the bed, and, after a casual 
 hope that I was all right, brandished the Times. He 
 had the splendid news to impart to me, he said, that 
 Hugh Dremont was going to be married to Lady Kath- 
 leen Catesby in a few weeks. 
 
 " Isn't it a good thing, Guinevere? I knew you'd be 
 so awfully glad, I climbed up here to tell you at once. 
 He has been thundering quick about it; he only landed 
 in England less than a month ago. Now they will be 
 settled here by the autumn, and we'll have some neigh- 
 bors again." 
 
 Then for a moment my husband's voice sounded afar 
 off, and I was not sure of his words until I saw him 
 bending over me, and caught a rough, kindly whisper : 
 
 " I say, Guinevere, you do look pale. I think I'll 
 send for Doctor Burnley, my dear."
 
 CHAPTER XXIX 
 AUGUST, 1910 
 
 O-DAY is Hugh's wedding-day. It is full of 
 angry showers, with a high wind the third 
 of August. Letitia has written to me what 
 she thinks I ought to know about it, and noth- 
 ing further. She has the family pride, and will not 
 admit that I am crushed with pain over this, any more 
 than I will admit it to myself. The engagement was 
 very brief just over a month and most of the 
 time Lady Kathleen was in Paris getting her trousseau 
 and Hugh was seeing to his affairs and up at Bransdale, 
 where he has decided to rebuild the house that was 
 burned down, a mile or two farther off from the town. 
 I^etitia, commenting upon these events, said in a letter : 
 " Hugh is behaving decently and like a gentleman, 
 isn't he? He is arranging not to have to live always 
 at Minton Dremont. But he looks defiant. I do not 
 know if he is happy or not. He was for the first few 
 days, I expect, while Kathleen kept up the sweetly de- 
 mure role but Hilda says when she felt perfectly sure 
 of him she dropped it a little, and played again with 
 Tommy Burleigh (the boy in the Guards), and that 
 they, she and Hugh, had a frightful row and that is 
 why Hugh went off up to Bransdale, he could not cope 
 with her, and did not wish to be tantalized. It is piti- 
 fully undignified, and simply scorches us who know him. 
 Ada is too mordantly entertaining over it. They are all 
 
 302
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 wild, as you can imagine, though they predict it won't 
 last two years. The most curious thing about it is that 
 there is really some mystery concerning Kathleen's 
 mother. An awfully nice American man from Virginia 
 took me in to dinner the other night at a party just 
 after the engagement was announced and we chanced 
 to talk of very old families and their continuance in 
 England, and he mentioned Hugh's he was extremely 
 interested in pedigrees and heredity and those things 
 and I said that here was a case of two very old families 
 going to be united, as Lord Catesby's was simply a sort 
 of thing from the ark. And his jaw dropped and he 
 said, absolutely flabbergasted, * Do you mean to tell me 
 Sir Hugh Dremont is going to marry Bella Billwood's 
 daughter Good Lord ! ' and then, when I asked him 
 why he was so startled, and what it all meant, he 
 changed the conversation rapidly and would not answer 
 that, but seemed most anxious to know when the wed- 
 ding was to be. I felt frightfully interested, as you 
 may think." 
 
 This sort of letters came and passed. Of what mat- 
 ter who the girl's mother was ; of what matter anything 
 on earth, for, since two o'clock this afternoon, she has 
 been Hugh's wife, and they are now on their way to 
 Paris to spend their honeymoon, and the bells are ring- 
 ing at the church, and the flag is flying, beaten by the 
 rain, from the flagstaff at Minton Dremont. Oh, God, 
 be good to my Beloved, and make this woman a means 
 to his happiness, and give me strength to live and do 
 that which is my duty with the dignity which is due to 
 my race. 
 
 I did not go to the wedding. I have had to act many 
 things during these weeks of anguish, and I made all 
 semblance of joy and interest. Of what use would my 
 
 303
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 sacrifice of two years ago have been if I had, now from 
 my own hideous suffering, betrayed the situation and 
 again aroused suspicion in Algernon's heart? He has 
 no illusions upon life generally, I fear, and would most 
 certainly have drawn some undesirable inference from 
 any sign of shrinking on my part. So I made a pre- 
 tence of gladness, and talked of my dress in these three 
 days my son has been back from Eton and then this 
 morning, when we were ready to start, I allowed myself 
 to fall down the last three steps of the great stairs and 
 feigned a wrenched ankle, and with seemingly great re- 
 luctance made the two depart for London without me 
 and now I am sitting alone here in my turret room 
 and the angry showers beat against the east window 
 and drop in fizzing drops down the wide chimney upon 
 the sullen logs which have just been lit. For I am again 
 cold as death. 
 
 Do men ever suffer as women do? I think not, for 
 they are free and can be up and doing. They can fly 
 far from the scene of their pain, and have diversions. 
 And their natures are different, too ; for them, the swift 
 movement of horses and the slaying of beasts give sat- 
 isfaction or to have their ambitions excited about 
 politics or any other combat in the arena of life. And 
 their senses can be pleased by the beauty of women that 
 they even do not know, and with all these interests they 
 can heal them of their hurts. But for such as I am 
 who love one man only and forever, supremely and 
 above all other things the day he is wedded to an- 
 other woman must contain all of torture there is on 
 this earth to know. 
 
 It is the day after Hugh's wedding. 
 304
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I heard the carriage come into the courtyard from 
 the station a while ago, and now there is a second sound 
 of arrival what can it mean ? Humphrey and Alger- 
 non stayed the night in London, and were to have re- 
 turned by the five-forty-two train to-day. They must 
 be in the library I wonder why Algernon, at least, 
 does not come up to see me and tell me all the news. 
 What can he be delaying for? I think I will get up 
 from my bedroom sofa and go down and find out. My 
 ankle does not hurt in the least, really and I must 
 look interested and anxious to hear. To all the neigh- 
 borhood this marriage is of vital, thrilling importance, 
 and excitement. What is that noise of whispering be- 
 yond the screen? Hartington's voice and Parton's 
 Ah ! God, what has happened ! I must see. 
 
 It has overtaken us at length the haunting terror 
 of this house. It has caught them, these last Bohuns, 
 in the horror of its grasp, and choked the life out of 
 one of them 
 
 Humphrey is dead. His death caused by passionate 
 rage against his son. 
 
 Oh ! for days and weeks, I have not been able to face 
 the thought or realize the frightful sequence of events. 
 Grief and horror have had the mastery of me. 
 
 And of what use now to put down all the details of 
 how my poor Humphrey discovered in London that 
 Algernon had been betting heavily upon all races that 
 he could, and had lost over a thousand pounds. Or of 
 Humphrey's furious passion in the train, which Alger- 
 non missed, leaving him to come down alone. All these 
 things are details in a tragedy that we can never forget. 
 
 Then of how, when the boy did arrive, his father met 
 305
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 him in the hall, and, picking up a riding whip when 
 Algernon would not answer him, went in his rage to 
 strike him, there just in front of the suits of armor 
 with the visors lowered, that seem always to watch in 
 sinister mocking the ways of the modern world. Alger- 
 non's passion rose, too, perhaps naturally, and he cried 
 aloud : 
 
 " If you strike me, father, I warn you, I will kill 
 you keep away ! " 
 
 But Humphrey came on, and as he raised the whip 
 Algernon seized it madly in his strong grasp. Then 
 that same awful convulsion overcame Humphrey, as 
 once before when he was angry with the groom, and he 
 staggered and fell, striking his head against the stone 
 curb of the mantelpiece, and there lay dead upon the 
 floor. It was then, Hartington, who had witnessed this 
 terrible scene, rushed up to warn Parton to keep me 
 from the cruel sight, while they sent for Doctor Burnley 
 to know the worst. 
 
 But I cannot write of what followed, or of my son's 
 wild, frenzied agony that held remorse as well as grief. 
 They had not loved one another greatly in life ; at least 
 Algernon had certainly not loved his father but to 
 part thus forever in horrible rage ! Oh, the tragedy of 
 it ! my poor boy my poor son ! 
 
 The horror of the days that followed in this grim 
 house of death from whence Humphrey's body was 
 carried to sleep with his ancestors in the vault of the 
 church ! I try in vain to banish it from my memory, but 
 never can I pass the hall but my fancy seems to conjure 
 up that great stain of blood slowly spreading from 
 under the tall oak chair, to the feet of one of the suits 
 
 306
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 of armor. It seemed so real to-day, that although I 
 knew it was only a reflection from the stained-glass 
 emblazoned window, still it was so weirdly terrible that I 
 nearly screamed and picked up my skirt. Oh ! my poor 
 Humphrey, to die so ! how can your spirit rest in 
 peace! How glad I am that lately we had seemed 
 nearer to one another, and I can feel that he was more 
 contented with me. His last words were kindly, about 
 my fall on the stairs: I am comforted to remember 
 that. 
 
 It is October now, and the sad days pass with Alger- 
 non and Sir John Kaird and me alone. Soon we are 
 leaving this scene of ghastly misery. But there were 
 many things to be arranged first. Sir John is Hum- 
 phrey's executor and my son's guardian, as well as his 
 godfather, and has been often down here settling papers 
 and carrying out instructions. Algernon will be very 
 rich, and I also need have no anxieties about the future 
 as far as money is concerned it has been lavished 
 upon me. One sentence in Humphrey's will I can never 
 think of without bitter tears : 
 
 " And to my dear wife I leave " and here the sum 
 is mentioned " in gratitude for her unfailing obedi- 
 ence, patience, and devotion which I have sometimes ill- 
 repaid that she may have peace and plenty for the 
 rest of her natural life." 
 
 Oh ! if he had ever been tender with me while he lived, 
 my poor Humphrey, how different it all could have 
 been! 
 
 Algernon seems very changed the proud, stubborn 
 spirit in him has grown sullen with his grief. He is 
 morose and taciturn, and colder than ever to me. It 
 
 307
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 would appear as though now, that the first shock is 
 over, that he resents having shown me his innermost 
 being, and would sear all memory of emotion between 
 us. I have tried to move him with gentleness I have 
 explained that a wall grows with silence, and the sorrow 
 that hardness brings ; and for a moment, when I touch 
 him vaguely, he will kiss me and then hurry away, and 
 the next day resume his former manner again. 
 
 He is going to leave for Sandhurst on Thursday, and 
 I am starting for Italy alone on Saturday morning, 
 October the twenty-second. Redwood Moat is to be 
 shut up for a time, perhaps until Algernon's coming of 
 age in two years and a half from now. In appear- 
 ance, my son already looks over twenty-one, and he 
 grows more magnificently handsome as the days go on. 
 I am so crushed with sorrow and desolation, one grief 
 on top of another, that life feels as though it were a 
 gray, grim sojourn to be passed through quickly to an 
 end. 
 
 The bride and bridegroom return to their home to- 
 morrow, and there are to be rejoicings at Minton Dre- 
 mont. But even this has not moved me from the dull 
 apathy of sodden grief. I am thankful only that I 
 shall be far away this winter, and not forced to witness 
 Hugh's companionship with his young wife. As echoes 
 of things come to me, no matter how aloof one may be, 
 I have heard that the Lady Kathleen Dremont has al- 
 ready made a great impression upon her husband's rela- 
 tions, and one that they strongly dislike but I must 
 never allow prejudice to color my thoughts of her. I 
 must force myself to try and think tenderly and kindly 
 of this motherless young girl now sheltering in the 
 arms of my Beloved. 
 
 But I cannot yet bear the sight of her in the room;* 
 308
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 which seem sacred to me or her flitting, beautiful 
 form in the gardens that contain memories for me of 
 all sweetness and love. 
 
 Letitia, in her sensible letters, has not mentioned the 
 Dremonts. One can always count upon her feeling for 
 
 the fitness of things. 
 
 - * * # # 
 
 The Friday afternoon has come. Algernon and Sir 
 John left yesterday on their way to Sandhurst, and I 
 am alone this last day that I shall spend here at Red- 
 wood Moat for a long time to come. Letitia's house- 
 keeper in Cheshire is going to keep Petrov for me dur- 
 ing my absence from England, and my dear beast seems 
 to know he is leaving me, and creeps over to my side. 
 
 I am sitting here in my shrine, with the curtains 
 drawn and Parton has just brought me in some tea. 
 Outside, the wind is howling in a slowly-gathering 
 storm ; it suits the sad atmosphere of this house. 
 
 And while I sit here, as ghosts before me rise the pic- 
 tures of the sequence of events of our coming to Red- 
 wood of my passionate longing to live before it should 
 be too late. Of fate's immediate answer to my prayer 
 in the advent of Hugh and of what this meant to 
 me. All things clear chains of cause and effect even 
 to the obligation Letitia felt to help me to happiness 
 from her former action, which had chained my life. .Of 
 Humphrey's uncontrolled tempers, and of their result 
 in the character of his son. Of Algernon's hardness be- 
 cause he was created in fear and not love and of the 
 haunting, terrible influence of this abode of generations 
 of strong, violent men culminating in tragedy and 
 yet more shadows of grim deaths to stain its floors with 
 blood. Oh ! to escape from it to another sphere to 
 
 309
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 rise into God's sky and peace forever ! But I cannot 
 I must live to help, at least by my prayers, the head- 
 long career of my son. 
 
 And what of Hugh, and the life which lies in front of 
 him? Will it be for him joy and happiness? Will the 
 years bring him this greatly-wished- for heir? Well, 
 above and beyond all personal things, I ask God to pro- 
 tect and keep him and to smooth his path so that 
 in time he may obtain the desire of his heart. 
 
 But for me my life is over and I am thirty-six 
 years old. 
 
 Am I dreaming dreaming in the firelight? What 
 is that noise far down upon the turret stair ? the 
 soft shutting of the garden entrance door footsteps 
 mounting, mounting with never a stumble in the 
 gloom. It must be some one who knows the way. My 
 heart beats, but it is not in fear. Fear has no place in 
 its numbed depths. 
 
 Then the narrow door opened noiselessly, and there 
 stood Hugh !
 
 CHAPTER XXX 
 OCTOBER, 1910 
 
 'AUNT and haggard and pitiful, my once dear, 
 splendid lover came to me, and, stopping, 
 leaned upon the back of the great oak chair 
 and there we gazed into each other's eyes with 
 an anguish too deep for tears. 
 
 " Guinevere," he whispered hoarsely, " to-morrow 
 you are going away, they tell me, and there are things 
 to be spoken of between us first ; so I have come to you 
 here." 
 
 I did not answer I had no words I only pointed 
 to the chair, and Hugh sank into it with a bitter sigh, 
 and there was a long silence. Then after a while he 
 spoke. 
 
 " It is my punishment, dear love," he groaned bro- 
 kenly, clasping together his hands. " My punishment 
 for my rebellious passions to begin with, and our pun- 
 ishment, Guinevere, for breaking that bond of our soul's 
 union which should have been stronger than laws, 
 stronger than life or death. You had no right to send 
 me from you, dear I was your mate and your lover, 
 and we should have been great enough to live as priest 
 and nun until God cleared us a path. And now the 
 path would have been cleared, but I by my passion have 
 erected a barrier crueller than that which stood before. 
 Speak to me, dearest let me hear your gentle voice 
 once more or I shall have no courage to go on." 
 
 311
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Hugh," I faltered " my dear, dear Hugh." 
 
 " Guinevere, to no other soul on earth would I bare 
 the shame and horror in my heart listen to the awful 
 story and then tell me what to do." 
 
 I leaned forward in my hooded chair, fixing my eyes 
 upon his loved, stern face and there in the lamplight 
 I saw that the thick, brown hair which waves back from 
 his broad brow was streaked with gray. 
 
 " I will not go all over the time after our separation, 
 Guinevere," he began. " It was the same as it had been 
 before, only more cruel the same heartbreaking suf- 
 fering and torture then the excitement and the sport 
 and often a bitter anger against fate, and then grad- 
 ually rebellion and resentment against the thrall of your 
 memory and the pain. And, as before, I crushed all 
 tender things they hurt the most and I took life 
 as it came any distraction to deaden my passionate 
 love for you. I had no illusions this time that I should 
 be able to come back and be friends I knew I had 
 not conquered anything I was afraid even to speak 
 to Letitia about you afraid to come home. Nothing 
 was deadened, and I was in furious rebellion at my impo- 
 tence and my suffering. You will have heard, of course, 
 how I first met Kathleen " here his voice grew deeper, 
 and he paused, as though the words would not come. 
 " She is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen. 
 She maddened me that side of me which you always 
 knew was there. Nothing really mattered any more 
 a crust of cynical hardness was over my soul I only 
 felt I would grasp that which could bring me some tan- 
 gible j oy, because I knew I could never conquer the wild 
 ache for you. I would not let myself see that Kathleen 
 was brainless and soulless and utterly untrustworthy, 
 although I was always finding her out in lies. The other
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 attraction was so strong. I knew she did not care a 
 rush for me, but that did not deter me at all, I only 
 wanted her for my own pleasure. Most women cannot 
 understand this side of a man, or make allowances for 
 it, but you were always greater, and realized it, Be- 
 loved. A man can worship one woman as I worship 
 you, and yet be drawn by his senses to another if his 
 dear one is absent there is no use for people to argue 
 against this, it is so, and will be to the end of time." 
 
 There was silence for a moment, and then Hugh spoke 
 once more, and I hardly recognized his voice, so hoarse 
 had it become. 
 
 " We were married, you know do you remember 
 the day it was ? the rain and the raging wind I felt 
 intoxicated. She was more beautiful than the dawn. I 
 only desired to be away alone with her ; I had no other 
 thought. Well, when we got back to Hilda's house in 
 Berkeley Square, after the ceremony at the church, to 
 change our wedding clothes while I was dressing, 
 Carton you remember my servant, Carton gave me 
 a packet. which he said had come the night before, and 
 he was sorry he had forgotten in the excitement to give 
 it to me a messenger had brought it, and had said it 
 was imperative that I read its contents without a mo- 
 ment's delay Carton could not be sorry enough, but 
 felt I would forgive him under the circumstances. It 
 was all sealed, and looked an ominous thing enough. I 
 do not know why I did not pitch it into my dressing 
 bag, as most men would have done at such a time. But 
 this was fate again. I opened it, and as the first words 
 caught my eye, I stiffened ; and then I read on. I won't 
 go into it all, Guinevere, but just tell you it was an 
 attested set of documents, proving that my beautiful 
 bride was eighth part black Oh ! God ! the agony, 
 
 313
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the horror, the disgust of that moment I cannot 
 tell you of it, Guinevere. Suddenly, tricks of move- 
 ment came back to me the flashing of her eyes her 
 hands her too curly, golden hair. All the passion 
 went out of me, and a frightful revulsion took its place. 
 The sender of these documents went on to say, being a 
 deep student of evolution and heredity, and a South- 
 erner of fine old family himself, he felt that it was his 
 duty to apprize me of these facts in time, and it was 
 only that minute he had been able to get the necessary 
 documents together from America as he felt he could 
 not tell me all this without proof. He said he knew how 
 one Southern gentleman would feel to another about 
 such a thing, and if I, being an Englishman, did not 
 share his feelings, then no harm would have been done 
 but that if I did, then he was thankful to say he had 
 been able to warn me just in time. Oh, Guinevere in 
 time! " 
 
 Hugh groaned with bitterness as he repeated over 
 the words " in time ! " 
 
 I cannot say what were the feelings which came rush- 
 ing through me of horror and sympathy and pain. 
 
 He pulled himself together sternly and went on more 
 rapidly now : 
 
 " I had just come from America, Guinevere, and the 
 South and I knew and understood the sentiment they 
 have about such things there and the writer of the 
 letter had signed his name, it was no anonymous corre- 
 spondent it was a name which I knew, and which was 
 respected and honored in his town. I have always had 
 this feeling myself about niggers and a strong physical 
 repulsion as well. And to think that one whose great- 
 grandmother was a full black was now my wife, and if 
 the marriage went on, in a year or so might be the
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 mother of my son. It drove me perfectly mad, Guine- 
 vere. I reeled with the sickening irony of it all. And 
 then I made up my mind I would be ruthless for 
 no law or no other reason would I ever make this woman 
 my wife in anything but name. It would not be justice 
 to leave her now practically at the church door and cre- 
 ate a great scandal, but I would tell her the whole truth 
 the moment we were alone and leave it to her to settle 
 what she would do. I naturally was under every 
 obligation to be kind and good to her since it was 
 not her fault, but with her father I would have a reck- 
 oning." 
 
 I started to my feet the story was so terrible, so 
 ghastly in its hideous details, I felt I must move or I 
 should cry aloud. Hugh looked at me with wild, sad 
 eyes, and then he said pitifully : 
 
 " Ah, Guinevere, I have filled you with contempt and 
 loathing, and no wonder ; but nothing you can say to me 
 can hurt more than my own thoughts for I had 
 brought it all upon myself by passion not caring any 
 more about a soul." 
 
 " Oh, my dear," I faltered, and I came nearer to him 
 and sat down on the oak seat, " I am not filled with 
 anything but grief for you, and sympathy how 
 should I blame you? I am not your judge." 
 
 He covered his eyes with his hand, as if to shut out 
 some hateful picture and then he went on as though 
 to make a speedy end: 
 
 " Well, I told her as she faced me there in the saloon 
 carriage, and throwing herself back on the cushions, 
 she laughed yes, she laughed ! Ah, if you could have 
 heard it, Guinevere it was as the mocking of a fiend. 
 She said she was glad enchanted I had come to this 
 determination and grateful to her old nigger grand- 
 21 315
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 mother, if she had been the cause. Her father had 
 always told her not to mention this thing or she might 
 never get a husband, but that now she had secured a 
 great position she was glad I knew, as she had never 
 cared a rush for me and meant to enjoy her own life, 
 which she was very well able to do. As long as I would 
 give her lots of money and freedom, she would not have 
 a word to say against the bargain it was one she 
 liked. 
 
 " And thus we started on our honeymoon ! 
 
 " As she sat there opposite me in the train, it seemed 
 as though her golden hair turned back to wool, and her 
 glorious blue eyes grew jet, her full perfect lips became 
 blubber, and her dazzling skin black Guinevere, I 
 could see the nigger in her exact startling 
 terrible and a frightful repulsion came over 
 me, so that I could not have touched even her gloved 
 hand." 
 
 He got up and stood by the wide-open grate, and he 
 threw out his arms with a despairing gesture, and then 
 dropped them hopelessly at his side. 
 
 " And two days after, I heard in Paris of the Gen- 
 eral's death Ah ! God that was the worst of all 
 the hideous, fiendish mockery of the whole thing caused 
 by my own fault I cannot tell you what the agony 
 was then. And ever since your face and your tender- 
 ness and your sweetness have haunted me night and day 
 with frightful stabs of pain to know that soon, but for 
 my action, you could have been my own. And now we 
 have come back here to Minton Dremont to our 
 house, Guinevere, and she wants to change it all. And 
 everything that attracted me in her once fills me all the 
 time with loathing, and I can only see her faults 
 Guinevere sometimes I feel I shall go mad and I 
 
 316
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 hardly know what to do, and it must go on and on until 
 we either of us die, or until I can divorce her or she me. 
 A ghastly shame and torture and disgrace." 
 
 I could not speak for a moment the misery of it 
 silenced my utterance, and then I tried to comfort him ; 
 but it seemed as if no words were there. 
 
 " I had to come and tell you, Guinevere and to ask 
 you for your prayers, " he pleaded. " You are not a 
 brute and a sinner like I am give me your prayers." 
 
 Then I came and stood beside him, and, reaching up, 
 I touched his hair. 
 
 " Hugh," I whispered gently, " go straight on and 
 do your duty in every way you can. Try to abstract 
 yourself and create interests of your own. Your new 
 house at Bransdale the hunting politics the 
 county things for England Hugh, do not let me 
 have the pain of knowing that grief and horror are de- 
 grading you. Dear one, rise rise out of this abyss 
 of shame." 
 
 He took my face in both his hands and looked deeply 
 into my eyes. 
 
 " Guinevere," he said, with infinite tenderness and 
 reverence, " I have not asked you if you love me still, 
 because I know you are too pure and too true ever to 
 have changed. You have suffered the anguish of our 
 severance with dignity and resignation, and I have 
 borne it like a brute and not a man I am not worthy 
 to tie your shoestrings, beloved angel one but my 
 soul and my real worship have never wandered from 
 you. I have only been unfaithful to you in those things 
 which make the difference between the natures of a 
 woman and a man. And now I realize once more how 
 little they all matter when weighed in the balance with 
 such love as is and must be forever between you and me. 
 
 317
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I will not plead for mercy or forgiveness, beloved heart, 
 because I know you understand." 
 
 Then he dropped his hands, and, taking my right 
 one in his, he raised it to his lips. 
 
 " Guinevere when we meet again as time goes 
 on I will try to show you that I am following your 
 wishes, but now I am glad you are going away and 
 that I shall not see you for all the love that I have 
 ever had for you is there as ever and a mighty rush of 
 passionate worship and reverence as well. Good-bye, 
 my Soul and give me your prayers." 
 
 He kissed my hand once more, and left me then ; and, 
 without looking back, went down the stairs into the 
 darkness out of which he had come. 
 
 I sat listening to the last echo of his footstseps while 
 I stared into the fire. But, as it was when he came and 
 we had looked into each other's eyes mine were still 
 dry with an anguish too deep for tears.
 
 FEBRUARY, 1912 
 
 v --^ WANDERED in Italy for nearly thirteen 
 
 months leaving the care of Algernon to 
 
 ^.M ^ Sir John. He knows of all his tastes and 
 
 tendencies, and is a dear and kindly old man 
 
 of the world, and seemed a more capable guardian, and 
 
 more likely to have an influence over my son, than I 
 
 could hope to obtain. Sir John himself suggested this. 
 
 " Leave him to me, Lady Bohun," he wrote, when I 
 proposed returning to be with Algernon at Christmas 
 time, " he can come and hunt down at my place and 
 stay with the Morvaines. He is so very restive and 
 masterful, you could not do anything with him; but 
 the point of view of others about him is our only 
 chance. I'll see that he does not get into any mis- 
 chief." 
 
 So I stayed on but about last November, just 
 over a year after I went away, I felt that something 
 was being kept from me, and at length it came out. 
 Algernon had refused any longer to stay at Sandhurst. 
 He announced his intention of giving up the idea of 
 being a soldier- and nothing any one could say had 
 any effect upon him. Even if he went into the Guards, 
 he argued, their leave was short, and they had to work 
 hard and as there were only one or two things he 
 cared for, which were to hunt all the winter and play 
 cricket and race all the summer, he was not going to be 
 
 319
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 restricted in any way by a fixed career. He intended 
 to return to Redwood Moat for Christmas, and be mas- 
 ter there, and hunt for the rest of the season. He ex- 
 plained, with relentless calmness, that if Sir John 
 would not provide him with the necessary money, he 
 could easily obtain it from the Jews, who had already 
 accommodated him with a few small loans. 
 
 His guardian reasoned and implored, and tried to 
 shame him into changing his resolution, but apparently 
 he sat there in Sir John's rooms, smoking a cigarette, 
 perfectly unmoved. So, at last, the dear old man wrote 
 to me. 
 
 " I fear there is nothing to be done, my dear friend. 
 I can only counsel you to come back and keep house 
 for him, and by your gentle influence do what you are 
 able. I find to agree to what he demands, and then ask 
 him to take things in moderation, is the only possible 
 way. He is so hard-headed and forgive my saying it 
 so utterly selfish, that he will never come to hopeless 
 grief about his money. I have agreed to four hunters, 
 and if you will open the house and get some young 
 people round him, I think that is all we can do." 
 
 So now, in February, we have been for a month in- 
 stalled. 
 
 It seems so strange to be here at Redwood Moat 
 again without Humphrey ; it has renewed a gentle grief. 
 My wanderings in the southern lands have brought 
 peace and quiet to my heart and I have been well in 
 health, and Letitia says I have grown young again. 
 
 Of Hugh I often think and try that it shall be 
 tenderly and lovingly, as of some one who is dead and 
 gone but underneath there is always the fear that 
 when I see him, I shall find that my emotions are un- 
 changed. I have not fought against the mastery of my 
 
 320
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 love for him. I have left it there in my heart. Only 
 the months of peace have given me an outward control, 
 and I shall endeavor to have pride enough to bear all 
 things without showing anything of what I may have to 
 suffer. 
 
 Sir Hugh and Lady Kathleen Dremont are coming 
 back from Egypt now until the season begins, and they 
 mean to hunt, the neighborhood says and many tales 
 have been poured into my unwilling ears of how they 
 are seldom together, and of her bad manners and bad 
 temper and of the irritation and worry she is to 
 him. She won't be made to do any of her county duties, 
 which are irksome to her, and flies off to Paris the 
 moment she is bored. Her father, Lord Catesby, comes 
 to Minton Dremont to stay with them often, almost 
 whenever they are there, and is with them generally, in 
 fact; so I suppose Hugh had the reckoning with him 
 and insists upon this that he may have some one to be 
 always with Kathleen. It is reported that Lord Cates- 
 by remonstrates with his daughter and endeavors to 
 make things go more smoothly along, but whatever she 
 may do, " Sir Hugh," bears it all patiently, and has 
 " never been known to give her a cross word." So the 
 neighborhood gossips, with other whispered hints of 
 their relations together and lamentations that there 
 will be no prospect of an heir. 
 
 And now, any day, I may see Hugh again, and I 
 must be prepared. 
 
 Algernon came into the drawing-room just now from 
 hunting, while I was having tea. They had had a bad 
 day, I knew by his having sent home his second horse 
 unused and I expected him to be morose, as he often 
 
 321
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 is when things are not exactly as he wishes but, to 
 my surprise, he looked radiant and so superbly good- 
 looking, I was impelled to go up and kiss him, a pleas- 
 ure I rarely allow myself, he dislikes all caresses so 
 much. He looks two- or three-and-twenty now, with a 
 little dark moustache, and his tall, splendid, athletic 
 figure would make any mother's heart proud. 
 
 " You know, mum," he remarked, munching his 
 brown bread and butter, " old Hugh and his lady were 
 out to-day, and she's the most stunning piece of goods 
 you'd see in a month of Sundays, far better-looking 
 than even she was at the wedding. By Jove, mum, you 
 will be struck when you see her she is jolly, too, and 
 no end friendly. They only arrived last night, and she 
 insisted upon coming out at once and her hunter was 
 full of monkey tricks, but she rode him like a bird." 
 
 " That is splendid," I returned, with sympathy. 
 " How fortunate that they both should like hunting 
 I will go and call immediately." 
 
 " It's not necessary old Hugh was so awfully glad 
 to see me," Algernon interrupted, " and Lady Kathleen 
 said, wouldn't I persuade you to come to lunch to-mor- 
 row and not stand on ceremony, as the family are such 
 old friends ; and I said I was sure you would." 
 
 So to-morrow I shall see Hugh with his wife in 
 the rooms I love at Minton Dremont. 
 
 Oh! the pain of it! How can I go on bearing such 
 days as to-day has been? 
 
 Lady Kathleen and Lord Catesby were in the morn- 
 ing-room when Algernon and I arrived at Minton Dre- 
 mont. It is quite altered since the new mistress reigned 
 there. The bright chintzes have gone, and a fresh
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 arrangement of odd colors and a black carpet have 
 taken their place. 
 
 She looked hard at me as we shook hands, but was 
 polite enough. 
 
 No description of her beauty has been exaggerated; 
 she is a perfect goddess of health and exuberant youth, 
 while her coloring is too wonderful. But with the 
 knowledge of her parentage the whole thing for me is 
 tainted and spoiled, for even I who have never been in 
 the land where these blacks abound, now that I know of 
 its existence, can see the trace of their blood in her. 
 And as I looked in honest admiration of her beauty, I 
 was conscious of a thrill of repulsion. I can under- 
 stand thoroughly, though, how she attracted Hugh ; she 
 would attract any man. I tried my very utmost not to 
 let prejudice affect my judgment of her but the hard 
 metallic brilliancy of her glorious eyes seemed to freeze 
 me. 
 
 She was perfectly nonchalant and agreeable, with an 
 air of being complete mistress of the place and the sit- 
 uation. 
 
 Then the door opened and Hugh came into the room 
 and we shook hands. His dear face wore a mask, but I 
 could see the gleam of pain in his eyes when for an in- 
 stant they met mine. 
 
 All my hard-won calm deserted me. I felt as though 
 I could have screamed cried aloud in my misery and 
 wretchedness and as we went in to luncheon, a mad 
 revolt at circumstances overcame me, so that I 
 trembled. 
 
 Oh! the puppets we seem in fate's hand! 
 
 All the deep passion which has been repressed by 
 these years of control of myself semed "to burst its 
 bonds. I surged with furious emotion. 
 
 323
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Here was this young woman mistress of this house; 
 even though her presence is nothing but a punishment 
 to its master. She has the right to change the chintzes, 
 and to sit at the head of the table and give orders ; and 
 Hugh and I, who were made for one another, must dis- 
 semble and meet as cold strangers and suffer pain. 
 
 For the first time in my life I felt that hate and rage 
 had the ruling of me, and only the breeding that is in 
 me enforced an appearance of natural outward beha- 
 vior. The food choked me, the wine burnt my throat, 
 and every turn of Kathleen's head and sound of her 
 voice was a gall to me. 
 
 Hugh's demeanor was restrained. He was icily po- 
 lite to his wife and his father-in-law, with a forced 
 geniality to Algernon and me but I, who know every 
 line of his beloved face and every look in his eyes, saw 
 that there was written in them a hopeless abiding 
 tragedy. 
 
 He announced that he was going off to Bransdale 
 immediately, as his presence there was very necessary 
 now that the critical stage of the house's completion 
 had begun. Kathleen wished to hunt, he remarked, so 
 would remain on at Minton Dremont, her father keep- 
 ing her company. 
 
 " Yes," she said, " Hugh seems to hate being here, 
 but I like it and don't mean ever to go to that horrid 
 old Bransdale at all. I am having some of the garden 
 changed, and it is such fun for me. I like upsetting 
 things that were, and having everything new," and she 
 laughed a mocking laugh then, turning to Algernon 
 with a radiant flash of her eyes : 
 
 " You must give me leads out hunting, Mr. Bohun. 
 You love dashing about, too, I saw yesterday. I am 
 sick of all the old people and their staid ways." 
 
 324
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 And as she spoke I remembered my own feelings long 
 ago, and how restrictions had fretted me and my 
 rage calmed a little. She may be an unworthy char- 
 acter, but she is young and living and blooming, and has 
 a right to her life. 
 
 She smokes cigarettes all the time; she began one 
 before we had hardly tasted the fruit. Hugh used 
 always be so glad that I did not care for it he used 
 to say there was no use going against the tide of cus- 
 tom, but he preferred that I should not smoke. Now 
 he did not seem to remark what his wife did or did not 
 do. A weary, blank indifference was in his mien he 
 never even noticed the frank and unconcealed admira- 
 tion on Algernon's face or the interest and excitement 
 in his manner though as the meal went on it was so 
 evident that when I realized what it must indicate in 
 comparison to his general unconcern about women, I 
 felt suddenly sick and cold. This would be the cul- 
 mination of the situation of misery and horror if my 
 son should fall seriously in love with Kathleen. After 
 lunch Hugh left us with a casual good-bye he must 
 ride into Wareford, he said and Algernon and our 
 hostess going off to the stables to see her new hunters, 
 I was left with Lord Catesby alone. He is an old bore 
 with an uneasy manner, and after a few minutes I asked 
 for the motor and left ; and when I got back to Redwood 
 / the house seemed to stifle me, so I wandered out 
 again into the park and on into Corlston Chase, 
 and there paced and paced among the bare trees until 
 it grew dusk, every frenzied passion surging in my 
 heart. 
 
 It had seemed possible to part from my love and 
 counsel him to do his duty there in the turret room a 
 year and four months ago, when we were both overcome 
 
 325
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and oppressed with blank misery and hopelessness 
 but now with the actual evidences of the barrier be- 
 tween us before our eyes, and the certainty of meeting 
 like this in the intercourse of our two families and 
 having to act, it is not to be borne. And yet what is to 
 be done I must stay with Algernon here at least until 
 he comes of age. 
 
 I felt out there in the February dusk as though I 
 understood now what Hugh had suffered at Cowes the 
 night he threw prudence to the winds and made me go 
 with him on board the Hermione. 
 
 Once or twice a paroxj'sm of furious rebellion over- 
 came me, so that I stamped my feet and my hands 
 smashed in pieces a dry stick I had picked up from the 
 hedge. All the restrictions of civilization seemed to 
 fall from me. I was back at the bed-rock of primitive 
 passion. And then it began to rain steady, soaking 
 rain and at last I came back to this my home, worn 
 out and subdued once more, but with a hideous fore- 
 boding and unhappiness in my heart that I am power- 
 less to remove. 
 
 And now I am waiting for my son's return from Min- 
 ton Dremont; there is no sign of him as yet, and it is 
 past six o'clock. 
 
 Weeks have gone by and once more the presage of 
 some terrible trouble hangs over this unfortunate house 
 of Redwood Moat. 
 
 Algernon is passionately in love with Kathleen. All 
 this time she has played with him, and the horror of 
 the situation has been creeping over me with augment- 
 ing force, so that my own personal anguish subsides 
 into a lesser trouble. 
 
 326
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Hugh went off to Bransdale immediately after the 
 day at luncheon, and has not returned since except for 
 flying visits. 
 
 He played his part nobly during the time I was 
 abroad, and I heard of him when I first came back as 
 having fulfilled all his duties with that generous exact- 
 ness which made him so beloved in the county of old. 
 But now, like me, perhaps, he cannot any longer bear 
 things and keeps away. 
 
 Kathleen has always had numbers of adorers, but her 
 methods with them all have been so ruthless and care- 
 less that as yet no actual scandal has connected any 
 one of them with her name. 
 
 But Algernon is different to the rest. His indomit- 
 able will and his extraordinary personal beauty, added 
 to the prestige of his completely fearless riding, give 
 him a special attraction, and I know and feel that 
 Kathleen is no longer indifferent to him. A fearful 
 terror is upon me. 
 
 What they do out hunting I cannot say actually; 
 she follows where he leads, I believe with a reckless- 
 ness that is the wonder and admiration of the whole 
 field. And what happens when he goes to tea with her 
 in the late afternoons on non-hunting days I can only 
 guess. Her father is there always, and frequently 
 other visitors. I judge by Algernon's temper when 
 he returns if he has or has not been able to see her 
 alone. 
 
 Of all the tragedies which have beset my life, the 
 tragedy of the thought of what this may mean is the 
 greatest. 
 
 If Hugh should ever know ! If there should be some 
 scandal Oh! I cannot face the frightful possibility 
 of it all. 
 
 327
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 To see the two together, Algernon and Kathleen, 
 almost makes one hold one's breath, they are so per- 
 fectly beautiful, and they have all the same tastes and 
 likings. Both despise books and music and all gentle 
 things. Neither, it would seem, has a belief or an 
 aspiration beyond the present moment and the pleasure 
 of the day. Of sentiment they do not know the outside 
 meaning, or of tenderness either. Yes, I must face it 
 they are mates in their own way, just as were my 
 dear lover and I. But mates, like brute beasts, might 
 be in their lair made to be happy together were it 
 not for fate's bars. 
 
 What ought I to do Ah ! God in heaven direct 
 me what ought I to do ? 
 
 It is the last day of the hunting, and Kathleen rode 
 into the courtyard on their way home with my son. 
 
 Lord Catesby, who had been out with them, had 
 gone on, and Algernon brought Kathleen up to the 
 drawing-room. I was in my turret room playing the 
 piano to soothe my troubled soul, and did not know 
 they were there until I went down through the little 
 library to pour out the tea. These doors open noise- 
 lessly now, and I heard, before I could make my pres- 
 ence known, Algernon's voice, hoarse and muffled with 
 passion, saying: 
 
 " If you dare to dance with or speak to Tommy Bur- 
 leigh at the races, I'll kill you, I tell you I will choke 
 the life out of you both you belong to me and only 
 me, and shall not even play with any other man." 
 
 I reeled against the book-covered wall, and then si- 
 lently retreated again up the stairs and there, in 
 my shrine with my old Petrov sleeping peacefully, I 
 
 328
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 sat down upon the west window-seat and looked out at 
 the setting sun red as blood as it sank toward the 
 horizon, in a lurid, angry sky. 
 
 What could this mean? Only one thing Algernon 
 would never dare to speak so to her if she had not given 
 him the right to do so. He is, at least, a gentleman, 
 and in society has now quite courtly manners, just as 
 his father had. Is he, then, this beautiful creature's 
 lover? Oh Alas ! my son, my son 
 
 For an hour or more, I sat stricken with horror and 
 grief, clutching the old silk curtains. The relentless, 
 inexorable Nemesis which hangs over this house and 
 this Bohun family is here with its awful shadow 
 again. 
 
 And Hugh and I broke the law and these two are 
 breaking the law; this is our hideous punishment, and 
 the price is not yet paid. 
 
 The last rays of the sun seemed to flood the sky with 
 blood, and heavy purple clouds were gathering in prom- 
 ise of coming storm. 
 
 But I could arrive at no resolution as to what would 
 be the best to do. I could not even decide to consult 
 Sir John, who next week would be coming for the races 
 and the usual hunt ball. 
 
 Hugh has returned, sometimes for a Saturday^ to 
 Monday but I have never seen him except in church 
 and his face, as he has passed in or out, has been 
 stern with a blank, weary indifference that hardly seem's 
 to take in the surroundings or remark events. And 
 when most rarely his eyes have met mine, he has averted 
 them instantly, and I have seen the listlessness replaced 
 by a quiver of pain. 
 
 But he will be at Minton Dremont for the whole week 
 of the races. Oh! God, what shall I do what shall 
 
 329
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 I do ? if he should see or notice anything between 
 Algernon and Kathleen? 
 
 The races are over and the ball. I did not go to 
 either, because I am still in mourning but the house 
 was full of guests Lord Burbridge and more of Al- 
 gernon's friends, and some Bohun girl cousins and Sir 
 John and my dear Letitia and Langthorpe, and his 
 nephew, Henry Germaine. 
 
 But I felt I could not even tell Letitia of my trou- 
 bles from me no living being shall ever know of this 
 awful thing. 
 
 Nothing happened to cause any scandal. Adelaide 
 and little Adela were there, at Minton Dremont. Adela 
 is now seventeen, and they were more or less of a family 
 party, and Letitia tells me she hears from the Essen- 
 dens and the people at Mitley, that on those occasions 
 Lord Catesby watches over his daughter, and gets her 
 to behave with much greater circumspection than usual. 
 It seems to be generally known now in the county that 
 the marriage is a completely empty thing, and a fail- 
 ure in all ways and great is the head-shaking and 
 shoulder-shrugging in consequence. 
 
 Letitia said, to see the two Algernon and Kathleen 
 dancing one of these rather wild, new dances to- 
 gether, was one of the most beautiful sights she has ever 
 witnessed. A specimen pair of glorious young animals, 
 she described them as looking; and they must be very 
 clever, for even she has not the slightest suspicion that 
 there is anything more between them than just the joy 
 of life and the pleasures of their age. Cunning, I have 
 heard, is one of those black people's attributes per- 
 haps it has descended to Kathleen. 
 
 330
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Lord Burbridge and Algernon are now going off to 
 the Mediterranean for motor-boat racing. I hate the 
 idea of the danger, but anything is acceptable to get 
 my son away and all I can do is to sit still and wait 
 events. 
 
 22
 
 CHAPTER XXXII 
 JULY, 1912 
 
 XAM living with Damocles' sword suspended 
 over my head, which any moment may fall. 
 Algernon stayed abroad for a whole month, 
 perfectly indifferent to any suggestions from 
 Sir John or myself. He has a motor-boat of his own 
 now, and it provides him with a pleasurable excitement. 
 He obtained it from his guardian by his usual threat of 
 going to the Jews. He will not be twenty-one until next 
 March, though he is in every way emancipated and a 
 man of the world. 
 
 But whatever he does seems of lesser importance than 
 his staying at home to follow after Kathleen. 
 
 They met in Paris on his way back, where she had 
 gone for her clothes, but Lady Hilda Flint was with 
 her, so I suppose the young pair were very careful. 
 The whole situation is so ghastly and appalling. I think, 
 if Hugh knew, he would kill himself, because of the 
 frightful point of Algernon's being my son. It must 
 often have come to him that such a case would be more 
 than likely to happen. But what he thinks now I do 
 not know. He is so hopeless and so desperately unhap- 
 py; he spends his time in ceaseless work at Bransdale. 
 Letitia, whom I saw last week, is full of wonderment 
 and concern at the whole thing. That something hap- 
 pened between Hugh and his wife after the marriage 
 she feels sure, but what she does not know, and I have 
 
 332
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 never told her of Hugh's coming to me; and I have 
 tried never to mention the subject of the pair, except 
 in casual sentences sometimes and general terms. 
 
 " I believe there has never been any marriage be- 
 tween them at all, Guinevere," Letitia said. " Hugh 
 has a look of positive loathing for Kathleen upon his 
 face sometimes. Lord Catesby watches over the poor 
 girl to such an extent that she has not the chance to 
 get into mischief but what they both expect will 
 eventually happen one cannot guess. Is it likely such 
 a creature as she is will go on long without a lover! 
 Whatever there is between them it is abominably hard 
 on her, I think. It is said Hugh has agreed that the 
 moment she really fancies any one he will let her divorce 
 him, but I expect Lord Catesby is trying to avert that, 
 as he has not a penny and Hugh is so rich." 
 
 This aspect of the case does not bring me any com- 
 fort it rather adds to the frightful horror of the 
 thing. 
 
 " I hate to talk about them at all, Letitia," I told 
 her, and she understood at once and turned the sub- 
 ject; but I gathered that Hugh's old friends are still 
 hoping that they will get him back into the fold some 
 day, and with cynical patience they await what they 
 predict will be the turn of the tide. And meanwhile the 
 Juggernaut car of fate rolls on. 
 
 Directly after his return to England at the begin- 
 ning of June, mercifully my son sprained his ankle very 
 badly, and I stayed with him for nearly a month at 
 Redwood Moat, when he was unable to move, and his 
 restlessness and his temper were like Humphrey over 
 again. 
 
 Nothing of the sweet tendernesses of lovers' inter- 
 course seems to be between himself and Kathleen. Let- 
 
 333
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 ters do not appear any solace to them. I gathered 
 from his conversation during the time he was obliged 
 to be upon the sofa that all those things are for him of 
 no meaning. But every Saturday to Monday during 
 the time he was laid up Minton Dremont saw its mis- 
 tress. It gives me such pain now to see all her alter- 
 ations there that to have to enter the house is a supplice 
 which I endure as rarely as I can. And to have to go 
 into Hugh's sitting-room or his yew-surrounded garden 
 would be an anguish which I would not bear. 
 
 Kathleen came over to Redwood each Sunday, on 
 one pretext or another, and sat with Algernon in the 
 downstairs library, where he spent his time, and after 
 the first one I got Sir John to come down, and left 
 him unconsciously to watch over them and make a 
 third ; I could not do it, knowing what I know. 
 
 On the first Sunday in July, when Algernon was quite 
 well again, and had announced his intention of going 
 up to London to see the Eton and Harrow match, 
 Kathleen and her father came down once more to Min- 
 ton Dremont. They asked us to lunch, and I could 
 give no excuse, so we went after church. Lord Catesby 
 detained Algernon in the dining-room when the meal 
 was over, and I was left with Kathleen alone. 
 
 She has always plainly shown me that she thinks me 
 a bore, so, in a sort of stiff neutrality, we always pass 
 the moments we have ever to be together. Once the 
 thought that I would appeal to her to give Algernon up 
 came to me, on the plea that he is such a boy, but I 
 dismissed it instantly, because to appeal to such a 
 character about anything would be useless. 
 
 This Sunday the usual ordinary remarks were pass- 
 ing between us, when she suddenly laughed in just 
 the same way that she must have laughed to Hugh in
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the train the sound of it made me wince. And then 
 she looked with insolent defiance into my face. She was 
 standing there before the tall mantel-piece in the sa- 
 loon and looked wonderfully beautiful. 
 
 ; ' You make a charming photograph, Lady Bohun," 
 she remarked, knocking the ash off of her cigarette 
 with her little finger. " I think it is always best to 
 know all about the people one has to live with, and I 
 have taken care to know all about my husband " 
 and she laughed again " my precious Hugh ! He has 
 got a safe in his room, but I have had plenty of oppor- 
 tunity to have a key for it made for myself, like Blue- 
 beard's wife, to amuse myself during his long absences 
 by looking at what is inside and by far the most in- 
 teresting things there are your photographs. The one 
 lying on his sitting-room sofa is sweetly intimate, and I 
 am sure he values it enormously. There are no letters 
 that would be too dramatic but the photographs 
 tell their tale. You must have known him awfully well 
 in those days, to be photographed so in his room 
 did you not, dear Lady Bohun? " 
 
 I am thankful for the years of forced outward con- 
 trol which I have gone through; they enabled me now 
 to answer her without moving a muscle or the least fal- 
 tering of tone. 
 
 ** Yes, we have always known your husband very inti- 
 mately. I am so glad he has kept those old photo- 
 graphs I would love to see them again ; they would 
 remind me of happy days long ago." 
 
 She looked at me with insolent meaning, but I met her 
 eyes in perfect calm ; then she laughed again. 
 
 " I just thought I'd tell you to give you a hint 
 that I do not think you have much right to prevent my 
 seeing Algernon, which I have noticed you seem inclined 
 
 335
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 to do and also to warn you that I mean to do exactly 
 what I please with him. Only he is such a darling 
 brute " and here she laughed again " that it is 
 generally he who does what he pleases with me." 
 
 " I do not understand at all about what you are talk- 
 ing, Lady Kathleen," I said, with continued calm. " I 
 am very stupid, and do not grasp quickly certain forms 
 of joke. But if what you say is meant as an expression 
 of interest in us, and friendly affection for my son, I am 
 very pleased. There are so few young people in this 
 neighborhood, I am sure your companionship is a great 
 boon to him." 
 
 She looked at me, the insolence dying out of her face 
 and then she laughed once more, but this time there 
 was a note of discomfort in her merriment. 
 
 And, at that moment, Algernon and Lord Catesby 
 opened the door and entered the room. 
 
 I did not permit myself to show the smallest disturb- 
 ance or when Lord Catesby suggested it reluc- 
 tance to be shown the perfection of the roses in the new 
 rose garden. 
 
 " A caprice of my daughter's to have it instead of 
 the herbaceous borders that used to be here," the old 
 gentleman announced to me, as we walked along the 
 familiar paths, where the best of Hugh's and my ar- 
 rangings and plantings had been. 
 
 I made myself converse amiably, and then, after a 
 suitable time had elapsed, I departed for home, leaving 
 my son and my hostess lying in two comfortable ham- 
 mocks under the cedar tree on the lawn, with lemon 
 squashes between them and a packet of cigarettes. 
 
 And now, when I came here to my turret room once 
 again, my knees suddenly gave way beneath me, and I 
 fell before the east window with an agonized cry to God 
 
 336
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 to deliver us all from this awful situation, to avert this 
 ghastly tragedy from falling upon these our two homes 
 and to bring us out of these troubled waters into 
 peace. I prayed aloud with a more passionate intensity 
 than I have ever done before, my prayer wrenched from 
 my tortured heart. And far away, in the distance, it 
 seemed as though a low rumble of thunder answered me.
 
 CHAPTER XXXIH 
 AUGUST, 1912 
 
 are here at Cowes again. The second year 
 we k ft d ^ e Guinevere we did not come for the 
 Regatta week, but ran over to France instead, 
 so my memories of the Gardens and the whole 
 social aspect of the place are of those days four years 
 ago, when I parted from Hugh. 
 
 Langthorpe has taken a yacht this summer, and Al- 
 gernon and I are with him and Letitia, and a couple of 
 agreeable young men, his nephew, Henry Germaine, 
 and Freddy Burgoyne. Algernon spends his time 
 rushing about in his motor-boat. He is perfectly 
 reckless, and goes at top speed whenever he can. I do 
 not allow myself to give way to the anxiety this 
 causes me. 
 
 Letitia says he is the most gorgeously beautiful 
 specimen of human youth there can be in England, and 
 that every woman who looks at him is moved in some 
 way. When nothing crosses him his manners are now 
 charming also, and I perfectly understand Kathleen's 
 infatuation for him. She is so hard and devoid of senti- 
 ment herself, she does not miss it in him. He has her 
 in complete subjection, and I believe he would actually 
 beat her if she disobeyed him or made him jealous! 
 They are two primitive savages together. She is here 
 on the Hermione with her father, and we see them con- 
 stantly, and in the close intimacy of yachts, I cannot 
 
 338
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 i 
 
 help observing things. How the situation escapes the 
 notice of the rest of the party is a marvel to me. The 
 hours are a nightmare, and this afternoon Hugh arrives 
 for the week, and it will be absolutely impossible, I fear, 
 for him not to perceive something of the case, only 
 there is so little tenderness between Algernon and 
 Kathleen. They seem to tease one another and chaff 
 and not particularly desire to be alone, except they will 
 go off sometimes in an electric launch Algernon has 
 hired, and spend the whole afternoon landed somewhere 
 by themselves. They say it is to play golf on one of 
 the island courses. Sometimes I tell myself that with- 
 out the key of what I know I should never suspect any- 
 thing beyond a boy and girl friendship and a similarity 
 of tastes. 
 
 Letitia never having mentioned the subject comforts 
 me. Surely she would have done so if she had remarked 
 anything. She has often spoken of the modern young 
 people's ways in the abstract. 
 
 " They do not know what we mean by love, Guine- 
 vere; I believe, as an emotion, it has quite died out. I 
 don't think they ever talk of tender things when they 
 are alone. When they have finished exchanging views 
 about golf and tennis, or whatever game they play, 
 they seem to want to rush out and begin it actively 
 again. Their conversation is of a vapidity which is 
 almost incredible to listen to. They are absolutely 
 casual together. ' Johnny ' treats * Milly ' as another 
 boy, shows her little more consideration, and only seems 
 to desire her companionship for his games. All the 
 mystery and the joyous little pretenses we indulged in 
 are completely vieux jeux. I believe personally the sex 
 instinct is dying out also, killed by the unrestrained 
 familiarity of their intercourse. It is only kept alive 
 
 339
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 by the pretty chorus girls who have realized the value 
 of a few gentle arts of enticement." 
 
 What does Letitia think about Algernon and Kath- 
 leen? I do not know. 
 
 My mind is in chaos and I cannot sleep sometimes for 
 .jthe awful dread. 
 
 Letitia and I and Langthorpe were having tea in the 
 gardens this afternoon, at the corner where the grass 
 suddenly slopes down to the hedge near the tent, at the 
 outside fringe of the crowd, when Hugh came from the 
 Club-house and joined us. He had just arrived. I was 
 conscious of his approach, although I was sitting side- 
 ways to him, and a profound emotion came over me. 
 How are we to live in the same neighborhood, if this is 
 going to happen always at the sight of him? He is 
 certainly older-looking he is forty-three now, but his 
 charm is as great as ever. Letitia says it has aug- 
 mented because of his complete indifference and aloof- 
 ness. And even among this company of distinguished- 
 looking Englishmen he stands out with a cachet of his 
 own, more so than ever with the gray in his hair. 
 
 His perfect manners covered the gene of our meeting, 
 and he took a basket-chair and sent a waiter for some 
 more tea. Then he began to talk to Letitia. Brans- 
 dale was almost finished and would be a comfortable 
 house in time, he told her. "It is only fair that I 
 should spend half the year there now," he said, " as I 
 have spent so much of my life already at Minton Dre- 
 mont." 
 
 And then he asked, not addressing any of us espe- 
 cially : 
 
 " Where is Algernon? " 
 
 340
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 " Up in the waterplane, or out in that terror of a 
 motor-boat of his," laughed Langthorpe. " Algernon 
 is a dasher at all things. Glad he has not entrapped 
 Henry into his tastes ; the pace he drives that boat at 
 is not safe, and Guinevere here can't do anything with 
 him." 
 
 " He is a gallant fellow," Hugh returned, " and a 
 character. It is an awful pity he would not stick to 
 being a soldier ; he would have made a splendid one." 
 
 " If there had been any even distant prospect of & 
 war, he would have," I interposed timidly. I had to 
 defend my son. " But he must always do what he 
 pleases, and could not have stood the routine in time of 
 peace." 
 
 Hugh turned and glanced at me, and then instantly 
 averted his eyes. I knew it was paining him even to see 
 me, and I was grateful that he looked away. 
 
 The mockery of the whole thing! There ve sat 
 amidst this gay, light-hearted throng, chatting merrily 
 as they drank their tea and listened to the band, with 
 a background of the yachts at anchor in the gray, 
 rough water. But the sky seemed in tune with my 
 thoughts, so stormy and cloud-covered it appeared. 
 
 Presently some new arrivals came toward my sister 
 and brother-in-law, and they rose to speak to them, 
 sitting down with them a pace or two off, and Hugh 
 and I were momentarily left alone. 
 
 " Guinevere," he said very low, after a little silence, 
 " it is torture and hell for me to see you like this. 
 Nothing is changed in the least. I love you more 
 madly than ever. I came down here because, after this 
 week, I am going away again into the wilds, and I 
 thought it would look better to be seen once more cas- 
 ually in civilization. I have tried to do as you told 
 
 341
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 me, but it is a failure. I cannot get through the aching 
 days with the knowledge that you are near and I may 
 not be with you. I cannot any longer bear my life." 
 
 " Nor I mine, Hugh," I answered miserably. " I 
 shall be glad when you are gone. I thought we were 
 both strong last time when you came to see me in my 
 turret room, and indeed I prayed for you and my- 
 self. But it is all of no use, and so it is better for you 
 to go." 
 
 Hugh stretched out his long legs and leaned back in 
 his chair, looking straight in front of him. 
 
 " I shall stay away until Kathleen has the marriage 
 annulled. She can under the circumstances, for deser- 
 tion, I suppose. It is appallingly hard luck upon her 
 to be tied to me, and if she should ever fancy some one 
 else, I want to make it easy for her to get rid of me." 
 
 I grew cold as he spoke. If he only knew that Kath- 
 leen had already " fancied " some one else, and that it 
 is Algernon ! And that fact, when it is known, will 
 turn the barrier that is now between himself and me 
 into one that nothing can ever break down again in 
 this world. 
 
 He saw my face growing whiter, I suppose, for he 
 said anxiously: 
 
 " Guinevere, what is it? Is something changed, then, 
 and you do not any longer care so much for me? v 
 
 " No, Hugh," I answered. " Nothing is changed, 
 nor can I ever alter what I feel for you. It is just the 
 cruelty of the situation which weighs upon me unbear- 
 ably." 
 
 " Darling," he gasped, and then went on more 
 evenly : " I want to talk to you in peace just ior this 
 one afternoon. Come down through the little door 
 there on towards the Green. We will say aloud to Le-
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 titia that we are going to see the waterplanes, and we 
 will walk on right to the end of the parade, where 
 there will not be a soul. Guinevere, do not refuse me 
 this there are so many things I want to say before 
 I go." 
 
 I rose immediately and we joined Letitia's group in- 
 differently, where Hugh made his announcement; and 
 then we strolled down and out of the narrow door on 
 to the sea-wall, and so to the parade. 
 
 We hardly spoke while we were among the crowd of 
 tourists and sightseers, all coming or going toward the 
 sheds of the waterplanes, and then presently we got 
 beyond all that and were practically alone. 
 
 " You know she has altered most of our garden, dar- 
 ling," Hugh said. " It hurt frightfully, but I have 
 made it a rule not to curtail or interfere with any of 
 her wishes. She bargained for money and freedom, and 
 she has had both. Hardly anything remains of the 
 actual things we planted together, you and I, Guine- 
 vere, except the vine the grapes on it are splendid, 
 as I told you they would be." 
 
 " I know it all scorches, Hugh," I faltered, " but in 
 the big pain the smaller ones are swallowed up; we 
 must try not to feel the lesser hurts any longer." 
 
 He looked down at me so tenderly, his dear blue eyes 
 seeking mine for comfort as one who is starving from 
 long abstinence, and then he spoke again: 
 
 " When I sit alone in my sitting-room in the even- 
 ings she never enters there, thank God ! I seem to 
 realize more clearly than ever how perfect you were, 
 dear love. All your understanding of me your in- 
 dulgence towards my selfishness, your sympathy, your 
 comprehension, your untiring thought for me and your 
 devotion. How I ordered you about ! And how utterly 
 
 343
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 sweet and always loving you were. Ah! there is no 
 other woman so gentle and tender in the world, Guine- 
 vere. You never once crossed my wishes or were any- 
 thing but fond and submissive, with that submission 
 which seems as though it were lavishing that which its 
 own self desires to give. I sit there in the big leather 
 chair and think of it all. Do you remember you sat in 
 it sometimes, Beloved One, and I sat by your knees on 
 the low seat and you stroked my hair? And often I 
 seem to feel with a quiver the touch of your soft fingers, 
 and it stabs afresh my heart. We always talked then 
 of the tenderest, most beautiful things, darling, drink- 
 ing in each other's souls there in the firelight. Ah, 
 Guinevere ! Then one day comes back especially to my 
 memory do you remember ? I had had a fall, trying 
 the new bay horse over a hurdle, and my forehead ached 
 for a little, and I lay upon the sofa and you sat at the 
 end of it, and let me rest my head on your sweet bosom 
 while you caressed and petted me, kissing all the pain 
 away and saying I was your baby. Guinevere, when I 
 think of all those things and the blank desolation there 
 is now, I almost cry aloud in anguish. And sometimes 
 I look at the book-shelves I can see the very book 
 we had been getting out that afternoon when I kissed 
 you passionately and awoke you to the knowledge that 
 the imperative necessity had gone. Every volume al- 
 most is filled with memories of you and your love and 
 understanding. Rossetti's Sonnets I dare not touch 
 they cause me such infinite pain." 
 
 Here he looked away out to the melancholy gray sea, 
 and his lips quivered as he spoke again. 
 
 " There is not an inch of the whole room, Guinevere, 
 that is not sacred to you and saturated with tender 
 recollections. And in spite of the pain, it is my one
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 consolation to sit there and dream dream as I used 
 to do long ago of what it would be if you were there 
 always, my loved and worshipped wife with the 
 thought that we could grow old together, hand in hand, 
 never to part any more." His voice grew hoarse with 
 emotion, and he paused, and then went on : 
 
 " I have grown to know that nothing else can really 
 matter much when a man has passed forty. His ambi- 
 tions are either satisfied or worn out ; his face is toward 
 the sunset, not the meridian, and all other things turn 
 to Dead Sea fruit but the companionship of the woman 
 he loves, when she is his real mate, evenly balanced in 
 body and soul; then that is the only abiding happiness 
 and solace, to have her sympathy and tenderness and 
 understanding to look forward to always on into the 
 declining years." 
 
 I was so deeply moved, a lump grew in my throat so 
 that I could hardly answer him, but I spoke at last, the 
 sound of tears in my voice: 
 
 " Ah ! Hugh," I whispered, " indeed I would have 
 loved and cherished you and been your very own, but 
 fate decreed it otherwise, and we are equally to blame 
 but perhaps it should comfort us, dearest, to have 
 this knowledge that this is what we would both have 
 wished." 
 
 I said it with my heart torn with misery, knowing 
 that if what seems the inevitable happens, and the 
 storm-cloud bursts, we can never meet again on earth. 
 But in the mind of Hugh I could see there was growing 
 some unconscious hope that somehow, some day, he will 
 be free and can come back and claim me. 
 
 Oh, my dear, my dear the cruel irony of it ! 
 
 " Guinevere, do you remember the day we went to 
 Eton? and the things we talked of then, and how 
 
 345
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 we pictured what we should have felt like if Algernon 
 had been my son. I often go over again those tender 
 scenes, darling. And when a man has come through the 
 fire of awful suffering as I have with the bitter anguish 
 of knowing his present pain is caused by his own action, 
 it clears his view as to the value of things. And I 
 know now that nothing on earth could ever have com- 
 pared with even the memory of your true love. If 
 Kathleen's parentage had been without flaw, I should 
 have probably been still more unhappy than I am, be- 
 cause I should have felt unspeakably degraded as soon 
 as the first rush of passion had passed. When love is as 
 our love was, Guinevere, a man can have no other mate. 
 Darling, think of it ! It has lasted seven years ! " 
 
 We were standing at the very end of the parade 
 where the walk stops and the rocks and country are 
 wild again, and the westerly wind, rising, blew in our 
 faces there in the lurid gorgeousness of an angry set- 
 ting sun. 
 
 Hugh bent and again looked right into my eyes. 
 
 " Guinevere, my worshipped angel," he pleaded, " say 
 once more that you love me, that I may carry the 
 blessed words away with me into the wilds, to comfort 
 me and speak to me of a far-off hope of glorious things. 
 Say it, Guinevere ! " 
 
 " Hugh," I answered him, and I kept my voice 
 steady, " I love you with every part of my being, heart 
 and mind and body and soul, now and for everlasting." 
 
 And then I caught my breath and turned away 
 for the iron had entered into me, and, blinding my eyes, 
 had blotted out the sun. 
 
 In a few days in a few hours, even Hugh may 
 know, as I do, that my son is Kathleen's lover, and then 
 for him and me there can only be an eternal farewell. 
 
 346
 
 -. 
 
 CHAPTER XXXIV 
 
 - 
 AUGUST, 1912 
 
 dined together on the Hermlone, our whole 
 P ar tyj in honor of Hugh's arrival. In our 
 walk back to the gardens, I had tried to speak 
 of lighter things to hide the agony in ray 
 heart and we had talked of Bransdale and what 
 Hugh had done there, and then we joined Letitia again, 
 sitting now in her usual chair by the tree on the steep^ 
 sloping lawn above the landing stage and Hugh went 
 off in his launch in the rough water. The two yachts 
 were lying very close together, or I do not think we 
 could have ventured to have gone to dine; the inces- 
 sant storms which have blasted this summer are still 
 going on. We were quite splashed with spray, even in 
 our hooded electric launch and glad to be hoisted on 
 board. 
 
 Kathleen was in full evening dress a most daring 
 arrangement of skin-tight twisted draperies, showing 
 every line of her glorious figure. She looked the incar- 
 nation of voluptuous young womanhood, and the spirit 
 of her great-grandmother seemed strong in her to- j 
 night; she flashed her eyes and undulated in her move- 
 ments with a perpetual suggestion of cakewalk, which 
 she pretended was caused by the rolling of the yacht, 
 until Algernon whispered something to her, a peremp- 
 tory, passionate order, and then she was still, throw- 
 ing herself among the cushions on the sofa in the deck- 
 23 347
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 house -where some of us were sitting ; the party was too 
 large for us all to be there, so the rest had gone below. 
 Here she pouted and sulked until dinner was announced, 
 and we all went down. Hugh had not yet appeared 
 from his cabin, but joined us in the saloon. 
 
 I had not seen him and Kathleen together since that 
 day in February at lunch at Minton Dremont, except 
 in church, when they could not speak, and I saw at once 
 that the situation between them was more than ever 
 strained. She spent the time in hurling ceaseless jibes 
 at him, or in whispering j okes to Henry Germaine, who 
 was on her left hand, and making every one at the table 
 hideously uncomfortable, while my son's eyes blazed 
 with furious passion, and I knew that the devil was in 
 them both. 
 
 Hugh behaved with great dignity, apparently taking 
 not the slightest notice of her, but confining his conver- 
 sation to Letitia, who sat on his right hand and I, 
 who was on his left, devoted my whole attention to 
 Freddy Burgoyne. Thus the dinner went on and ended 
 and then Kathleen said she meant to dance she 
 had just learned the tango, and she must teach it to 
 Algernon and Henry Germaine. 
 
 She has had a pianola attachment put on to Hugh's 
 old piano, and she insisted upon Langthorpe sitting 
 down and playing it, while she gyrated about, sway- 
 ing her hips, in the rather limited space in the centre of 
 the saloon. The dining-table is at the side, and behind 
 it on the sofa Letitia and Hugh and I still sat with 
 Lord Catesby, while Freddy Burgoyne stood clapping 
 his hands to keep time. 
 
 It is ridiculous for people to be disapproving or 
 shocked at the ways of this age and youth must have 
 its expression; but never at any theatre have I seen 
 
 348
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 anything so alluringly wicked, or unmistakably sug- 
 gestive, as was the dancing of Kathleen, while she prac- 
 tised her tango with first Henry and then Algernon. 
 My son's eyes swam with passion, and Hugh's face was 
 very pale, and had on it an expression of extreme dis- 
 gust, as he steadily averted his gaze. Then, when the 
 fun was at its height, he rose and, asking Letitia if she 
 would not like some air, went with her out of the door 
 and up to the deckhouse. 
 
 At this, Kathleen turned and made a face at his re- 
 treating figure, like a naughty street child, and Lord 
 Catesby, frowning and red with chagrin, got up and 
 said something in her ear. But her temper was evi- 
 dently too excited to be calmed. 
 
 " Why don't you go to the deckhouse, too, then, 
 papa! " she cried aloud, " and join my precious hus- 
 band if you don't like our fun. Lord Langthorpe's 
 the only darling old man I have ever known ! " 
 
 Algernon looked uncomfortable he hates her to be 
 in this mood, I could plainly see he interposed here, 
 and suggested that Langthorpe might be tired of play- 
 ing, and that some lemon squashes would be a good 
 thing. Then Kathleen sat on the table and dangled 
 her feet. The movement of the ship was not very great, 
 but she made the most of it, and pretended to slip off 
 on to the floor and while I answered Lord Catesby 
 in the general din of a new two-step Freddy Burgoyne 
 had begun at the piano, I heard Algernon whisper to 
 her fiercely as he helped her up : 
 
 " Pull yourself together this minute, darling or 
 I'll make you before them all ! " His face was sav- 
 age, and yet full of passionate admiration for any- 
 thing so superbly beautiful as the lovely creature 
 looked, pouting there on the floor and then laughing 
 
 349
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 and showing her white teeth, I cannot imagine. The 
 whole scene was one of horrible pain, and I determined 
 to escape from it, so pleading the desire also for air, I 
 got Lord Catesby to take me up on deck. There we 
 found Hugh and Letitia pacing up and down, wrapped 
 in thick coats, in the wind. 
 
 After a minute or two, we four went back into the 
 deckhouse, and from below could hear the sounds of 
 wild laughter, and now the rattle of castanets. Evi- 
 dently, the fun and dancing were still going on. Then 
 presently, flushed and panting, Kathleen and the three 
 young men and Langthorpe appeared at the bottom of 
 the companion. 
 
 " I tell you, I am not in the least afraid," we heard 
 her say. " I shall go with you to-morrow to South- 
 ampton, Algernon, in your Fire Queen. That jolly 
 Neptune will look after us, and we will show these old 
 frumps how fast we can rush along. I will be ready at 
 half-past twelve sharp on the steps by the pier then 
 we can get a better start in that long piece of smooth 
 water," and her mocking laugh rang out. Hugh rose 
 from his seat and stood on the top of the stair. 
 
 " I simply won't allow you to go in this weather, 
 Kathleen," he said sternly. " It is dangerous enough 
 for Algernon alone, but with the responsibility of an- 
 other passenger it is sheer madness and, remem- 
 ber, you cannot swim." 
 
 She looked up wickedly at him. 
 
 " Don't flatter yourself I shall pay the slightest at- 
 tention to your commands, old fidgety darling," she 
 laughed. " It is a fine time of day for you to begin 
 taking an interest in me." 
 
 Hugh got very pale, and his face hardened into stone. 
 
 " I absolutely forbid you to go do you hear? " he 
 350
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 said icily. " Algernon, I request you to help me by re- 
 fusing to take her you know the danger yourself." 
 
 Algernon murmured something in a rather insolent 
 tone, the actual words of which I could not hear, and 
 Letitia, with her usual tact, diverted the ugly situation 
 by asking if the lemon squashes were in the saloon ; and 
 so a general move there was made, and when I got close 
 to Algernon I whispered my entreaties to him not to 
 think of starting to-morrow if the sea should be as 
 rough as it is to-night but he only laughed in my 
 face, and answered: 
 
 " Really, mother, you are all such a set of wretched 
 old mollycoddles ; I wonder you don't suggest my run- 
 ning an old paddle-boat thank goodness, Kathleen is 
 not like you ; she has got some pluck." 
 
 There was nothing more to be said, I saw ; but as I 
 do not think Kathleen will dare to really disobey Hugh, 
 Algernon may decide to stay with her and not start 
 alone. I must comfort myself with that. 
 
 Hugh and I had hardly exchanged a single word, but 
 when we said good night a little while later, he held my 
 hand for an instant, and he whispered : 
 
 " I hope you think, Guinevere, that I bear it as well 
 as I can." 
 
 And now I am wide awake, sleep will not come the 
 picture of Hugh's unhappiness is haunting me, and the 
 defiance on the face of my son. 
 
 What will the morrow bring? Only trouble of some 
 sort, even if they d,o not go in the Fire Queen all is at 
 such tension I feel it in the air, and Letitia has not come 
 to chat with me in my cabin, as is her wont. She, too, is 
 oppressed with the dreadful situation, although I hope 
 
 she does not guess the deeper meaning which I know. 
 * * * 
 
 351
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Algernon went off ashore early this morning before 
 I was up. I do not think he can mean to take out the 
 Fire Queen; it is a horrible squally day, and the 
 yachts which are racing must be having a miserable 
 time. 
 
 Letitia and I landed and did some shopping in the 
 town, and then between the showers we sat under the 
 tree on the lawn in the gardens and watched the rocking 
 boats while we talked to our friends. 
 
 Hugh was in the Club; we saw him pass us as he 
 went in. 
 
 " It was simply disgusting last night, wasn't it, 
 Guinevere? " Letitia said to me at length, when we were 
 left for a moment alone, referring to the subject of our 
 last evening, which she had ominously avoided until 
 then. 
 
 " The girl isn't a lady for all her hundreds of Cates- 
 by ancestors one would have thought it was a nigger 
 out for a holiday," she went on. " But you have never 
 been in America and down South, so you can't judge 
 of that, Guinevere. I have, though, and know the 
 blacks' ways. Her movements are exactly like them. 
 It is incredible that Lord Catesby should have permit- 
 ted such an exhibition." 
 
 " Youth will express itself. We must not be hard on 
 her," I answered. I did not want to talk about it at all. 
 I was overwhelmed enough as it was with foreboding, 
 and preferred to avoid discussing the remembrance of 
 last night. 
 
 " It is appalling for poor Hugh," Letitia went on 
 feelingly. " He tells me he is going away again, and I 
 don't wonder at all. I should think if he stayed he 
 would shoot himself or her but it almost serves him 
 right for marrying her any one else could have seen 
 
 352
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 the sort of character she had ; he was too blindly infat- 
 uated, though. I wonder how it will end." Then she 
 remarked more lightly : 
 
 " I hope Algernon won't become attracted by her. 
 I have thought lately once or twice I have seen some 
 signs of it; have you noticed it, Guinevere? " 
 
 Then as I only murmured a reply, she went on : 
 
 " There is one thing I am pleased about ; you and 
 Hugh seem to be sensible friends together at last. I 
 was glad you went for a walk with him yesterday; he 
 looked so much happier when you came in." 
 
 So even my clear-sighted, keen Letitia has not guessed 
 anything. I almost sighed aloud my relief. 
 
 " I wonder what Kathleen is doing this morning, she 
 has not come ashore, as far as I have seen," I said. 
 " Algernon went off before I could catch him. I wanted 
 to try and persuade him to promise me not to go out 
 in the Fire Queen I don't think he will it is too 
 rough, but he continually makes one nervous." 
 
 Letitia laughed. 
 
 " He would not have paid the least attention to you," 
 she responded, " it would have been waste of breath. 
 But did not you see them in the town; they passed 
 when we were coming out of the post-office, he and 
 Kathleen they have probably gone off in his motor 
 to play golf." 
 
 I cannot say why, but it seemed like some horrible 
 dream as we sat there in the gardens. I could not 
 shake off my feeling of anxiety. After the scene last 
 night things cannot go on calmly, and we have still 
 some days before the week ends. 
 
 At last I felt so disturbed, I could not sit there and 
 talk lightly any longer, and, leaving Letitia with Freddy 
 Burgoyne, who had just come up, I went down the 
 
 353
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 landing stage and, getting into the waiting launch, 
 came back on board. And here I am sitting with a 
 vague restlessness upon me and the clock has just 
 struck half-past twelve. 
 
 Ah ! God, how can I write it the final agony has 
 come as the stroke finished, something seemed to 
 force me to go up on deck. This was the hour fixed for 
 the starting of the Fire Queen supposing Algernon 
 was still determined to go out. I got my glasses and 
 leant there on the rail, scanning anxiously the direction 
 from whence the motor-boat would come. 
 
 Surely my son would not be so mad as to venture 
 surely Kathleen would not dare deliberately to disobey 
 Hugh for all her insolent defiance. 
 
 I could distinguish nothing at first, but as I watched 
 I at last perceived the long white thing with a man in 
 it close by the pier-steps at the side of where the steam- 
 boats land their passengers. And, yes, there was a 
 woman's figure, all clad in those new red oilskins, being 
 carefully handed in I knew it was Kathleen, for had 
 she not bought those very garments with Letitia and 
 myself on Monday at Redfern's in the town, delighting 
 in their new shape and bright shade. 
 
 So she had disobeyed Hugh and followed her own 
 will. I watched them in trembling anxiety the water, 
 once they would be beyond the shelter of the castle, was 
 rough, the waves beginning to be crested with white 
 foam. It was absolute madness for any motor-boat to 
 attempt going to Southampton in such a sea. I tried 
 to calm my terror by telling myself that they would 
 certainly turn up the river, not out into the Roads, and 
 I waited there for what seemed to be long moments 
 shivering with sickening dread. 
 
 354
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 Then I saw clearly that the two were settled and 
 Algernon had for a second put his arm round Kathleen, 
 while his mechanic gave him some last directions. I 
 xiould see even the expression upon their laughing, beau- 
 tiful faces with the powerful Zeiss glasses, and then 
 the white instrument of death shot forward with incred- 
 ible speed, and before I could take a breath almost, they 
 passed the bows where I stood, and, shooting ahead in 
 a cloud of spray, seemed suddenly in swerving to avoid 
 a fishing boat to spring into the air and then turn 
 downward. 
 
 They had crashed straight into the Chequers buoy. 
 
 The hideous, hideous horror of the moment I 
 screamed aloud, and then found myself struggling in 
 the arms of Angus Fergusson, the first mate. 
 
 I suppose in my agony I had rushed forward to get 
 into the sea. 
 
 " You canna do anything, me lady," the man said 
 kindly. " Something must ha' knocked them out ; 
 they've gone down like a stone." 
 
 And it is thus God answered my impassioned prayer 
 to avert that other tragedy from falling upon our two 
 homes. 
 
 Oh ! the bitter, pitiful anguish of it my son my 
 
 <larling son. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 The two gloriously beautiful young bodies were re- 
 covered at last, clasped together. The shock must have 
 stunned them, for Algernon was a strong swimmer and 
 would certainly have held up Kathleen. 
 
 And they had no horror on their splendid young 
 faces, superb as gods in the dignity of death, only a 
 sort of proud defiance. And as I gazed upon them it 
 seemed as though I realized above all the agony of my 
 
 355
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 grief that their lot was perhaps to be envied. They 
 had died together in the full zenith of life and love, 
 before any shadows came to darken their happiness, and 
 I remembered how willingly Hugh and I would have 
 taken their places on that night four years ago when he 
 had wished we might sink down into the blue waters for- 
 ever, fused together for eternity in peace. 
 
 * * * * * 
 
 And now I am back at Redwood Moat once more 
 and my son has been laid to rest beside his father and 
 that long line of Bohuns in the family vault in the 
 church, and this house of misery and blood and death 
 passes to a distant cousin now far away in a Western 
 mining-camp. And to-morrow I leave its dark portals 
 forever, haunted as they are with memories of anguish 
 and pain. 
 
 Kathleen, too, sleeps in the same church in the burial 
 place of the Dremonts so in death they are not 
 divided and after the funeral Hugh went straight 
 off out of England upon that long expedition he talked 
 of into the wilds. 
 
 He saw from the Castle platform the tragedy of the 
 Chequers buoy as I saw it from the bows of the yacht. 
 
 So all is done and they rest together, Algernon and 
 Kathleen, and no one will ever know that the beautiful 
 young beings were lovers ; their secret is locked deep in 
 my desolate broken heart. 
 
 The night is very still, there is not a sound, even of 
 those sad voices sighing to me as they were wont to do 
 of old in pitiful meanings. I seem to be utterly alone. 
 
 I will look once more from the east window across the 
 park to Minton Dremont and say my long farewell. 
 
 356
 
 GUINEVERE'S LOVER 
 
 All the clouds which covered the sky a while ago have 
 disappeared, leaving unshadowed blue-black depths, and 
 over the dark tree-tops above the tall chimneys there is 
 rising a star, a pure and lovely sphere of light, as once 
 before I saw it rise with a promise of hope. 
 
 Is it God's message? 
 
 And then I fell upon my knees at the open window, 
 and it seemed as though a spirit whispered in my ear : 
 
 " Peace be unto you, poor sorrowful one, the price is 
 paid at last." 
 
 And I stayed there watching the tender omen until 
 the sky lightened and I knew that dawn was at hand. 
 
 The dawn of a new day for Hugh and me. 
 
 (S) 
 
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