FRED EMERSON BROOKS University of California Berkeley FRED EMERSON BROOKS COLLECTION CREAM TOASTS By the same author BUTTERED TOASTS OLD ACE AND OTHER POEMS PICKETT'S CHARGE AND OTHER POEMS Cream Toasts By FRED EMERSON BROOKS CHICAGO Forbes & Company 1915 Copyright, 1915, by Forbes & Company CONTENT CONTENTS Page The Maiden with Beautiful Eyes 9 To Youth and Age 10 The Human Prayer 11 Mother and I 12 Gentleness 15 The Rose 16 The Glory of a Smile. 17 The Barefoot Boy 18 Common Folks 20 Business and Pleasure 21 Piano Technique 22 Woman Beautiful 23 To Cupid 24 The Voice of the Rose 25 The Bone of Contention 26 It'll Get Ye 27 Who Understands a Woman?.. . 29 CONTENTS Page Be Somebody 31 Always a Little Behind 32 The Maiden and the Rose 33 When Were You Happiest? 34 Make a Sweetheart of Your Wife 35 Seeking the Girl to Love Me 36 It Can't Be Done 37 What Is Right 39 Before and After 40 Slander 41 The Self-Righteous Man 42 Looking Ahead 43 The Suffragette 44 The Wedding Banquet 45 To the Absent Ones 47 What We Get Out of Life 48 Thanksgiving 49 Conscience 50 Women in Mathematics 51 The Shark and the Whale. . . 52 CONTENTS Page Irony 53 Keep a Smile on Your Front Yard 55 Greet the Day 56 Vice and Advice 57 Stubs His Toe 58 As Good as He Can Be. 59 The Painter 60 Today 61 The Spare Rib 62 Is Whiskey Good? - 63 Always There on Time 64 My Neighbor's Rose and Mine 65 Do the Thing That Is Handy 67 The Linnet 68 The Sign Board 70 The Reward of Labor 71 Records 72 The Thinker and the Doer 73 Menu for the Day 74 The Universal Shrine 75 CONTENT Page The Wanton Songs of Wine 77 The Man at the Mill 78 Pat's Opinion of Flags 79 The Good Old Times 80 To Create 82 Silver Wedding 83 Grape Juice 84 Whenever in Doubt Don't Do It 86 Your Best Friend 87 Honeymoon Days 88 The Cheerful Man and the Grouch 89 The Farmer 90 Your Moving Picture 91 It Was Hell 92 The Knocker and the Booster 93 The Birthday Ring 94 CREAM TOAST THE MAIDEN WITH BEAUTIFUL EYES Here's to the maiden with beautiful eyes And whether those eyes be brown or blue It is all the same if the heart be true And the love-light shine in those orbs for you ; So here's to the maiden we idolize ! CREAM "TOASTS TO YOUTH AND AGE How slowly the hours go dragging by When eager youth would have them fly, While waiting in school for the time to play Or waiting a circus or holiday ; Thanksgiving to Christmas seemed most a year And Time such a slow old charioteer: That is youth. But after the days when the hair turns white, Then Time goes by like the moon at night; The man goes slow and his watch goes fast, He looks at the future and thinks on the past. And gazes out on the harbor where The old ships lie that are past repair : That is age. CREAM TOASTS THE HUMAN PRAYER O Lord, forgive my many sins, The other fellow's, too; Grant me the grace that Heaven wins, The other fellow, too; Give me the kindliness of soul To help some mortal reach his goal Till j.oy-wine fills my empty bowl, The other fellow's, too. CREAM TOASTS MOTHER AND I In the land of the Shamrock, far over the sea, In a rose-covered cottage she's waiting for me. Always comes to the door when a stranger goes by And her mother heart throbs in the hope it is I. When I left her she kissed me a hundred times o'er, Till you'd think that my face wouldn't hold any more. She supposed they would last me until I re- turned ; Oh, the love a boy gets that he never has earned. What the poor cannot lose and the rich cannot buy CREAM TOASTS Is the love of two sweethearts like mother and I. I'll be home in old Erin the very first ship, I wrote and told her to not let it slip. I must not tell her all till she's used to her joy, Then I'll just give a hint of the wealth of her boy. When she knows there's a-plenty to have what she will After long self-denial her heart might stop still. I am lucky, they say, but it's all mother's prayers, When the Lord lends a hand in a poor boy's affairs. CREAM TOASTS What the poor cannot lose and the rich cannot buy, Is the love of two sweethearts like mother and I. 14 GENTLENESS Gentleness shows the refinement of birth, 'Tis the crown of all graces human, The stamp of one's greatness, the proof of his worth, Like the song in the heart of a woman. 'Tis the God in the mortal who gentle will be To the child, to the poor, to the stranger, Make him most like the Master of Galilee, With the meekness that lay in the manger. CREAM TOASTS THE ROSE Of all the things which Nature grows, Where fragrance dwells and color shows, There's naught to match the red, red rose. But how was it made and where? The barren bush had grown a thorn ; It pierced an angel's hand; next morn From every drop a rose was born; The rose is an angel's prayer. REAM TOASTS THE GLORY OF A SMILE Here's to the smile on a woman's face Where the soul creeps out from its trysting place With a rosy "good morning" to one and all Like the sun creeps over the mountain wall. The prettiest sight in the world today Is a beautiful face with the smiles at play ; And the plainest features grow fair meanwhile Till you wonder they ever forget to smile. CREAM TOASTS THE BAREFOOT BOY I'm toasting the joy Of the barefoot boy Who turns the world to pleasure And cares not a rap For the fussy old chap Who seeks the loot and the treasure. "Too fond of his play," His teacher might say, "He'll surely turn out a zero!" No one can foresee What a boy will be, Perchance he'll turn out a hero. 18 CREAM TOASTS Running back through the list Can't you see where you've missed? Where's the boy whom you thought such a wonder? Well, he went to the bad, While the rascally lad Is filling the world with his thunder. 19 CREAM TOASTS COMMON FOLKS We're ready to praise the rich or the great Who rise by genius or pluck or fate; But here's to the man of the common clan Who plods along in the caravan And goes not far from the road called Straight. 20 CREAM TOASTS BUSINESS AND PLEASURE Now, here's a toast to business, That keeps us all alive, Another one to pleasure On which we mortals thrive; But when you're mixing pleasure With your business you must learn Not to mix too much of pleasure Or you'll bust the whole concern. PIANO TECHNIQUE Here's to the girl who delights us alway While at the piano keys lingering, We're charmed with the music and marvellous play Of her hand and her beautiful finger-ring. CREAM TOASTS WOMAN BEAUTIFUL Made of lilies and roses, of opals and gold But where did they find out of heaven the mold? From the stars and the midnight they fash- ioned the eyes, And her smile from the dawn when the song- birds arise, And the marvellous grace that her movements disclose From the sunbeams that dance on the heart of the rose. CREAM TOASTS TO CUPID Thrice welcome, little Cupid, We'll drink a toast with you: Your cup, a morning glory A-drip with sparkling dew. We toast you not in liquor, Since we would have you stay; Strong drink's a malefactor Ever driving Love away. CREAM TOASTS THE VOICE OF THE ROSE I plucked a rose exceeding fair And said: "How very sweet you are; The prettiest thing beneath the sky, But are you not afraid to die And make the dew a tear?" "I'm first a bud and then a rose; My petals open to disclose The sweetness of the life I live: My joy consists in what I give And not how I appear. "My eager spirit upward flies For nothing in creation dies The spirit only is the rose Which fragrant to its Maker goes, Leaving the ashes here." CREAM TOASTS THE BONE OF CONTENTION It was not meet for man to dwell alone From Adam's side God took away the bone To make the mother of the human races But put on choicer flesh in better places. 26 IT'LL GET YE! If you make a friend of liquor It'll get ye ! And the more you drink the quicker It'll get ye! Make no boast of being strong Just to jolly self along: Every toper proves you wrong It'll get ye! There's a demon in the bottle It'll get ye ! It has never failed to throttle It'll get ye! It will wreck your life career, CREAM TOASTS Poison those whom you hold dear, Bring you all the hell that's here It'll get ye ! 28 CREAM TOASTS WHO UNDERSTANDS A WOMAN? Who understands a woman? He's not forsooth A gushing youth Nor any sage Of middle age Who understands a woman; Nor is he old With bags of gold! Then who is he? Well, don't ask me, For I am only human. 'Tis doubtless true The man that knew 29 CREAM TOASTS Was never known to draw one Marooned the while Upon an isle, He died before he saw one. 30 BE SOMEBODY If you wish to be good, be thoroughly good And don't be a namby-pamby. If you're bound to be bad, be rippingly bad, A regular Billy-be-dam-by. You might just as well make a man of your- se* And furnish your upper story. Living properly here you never need fear The continuous Crematory. 31 CREAM TOASTS ALWAYS A LITTLE BEHIND We've a roast for the indolent kind Who think to be late is refined. It would be a good trick If we each placed a kick Where the man is a little behind. 32 CREAM TOASTS THE MAIDEN AND THE ROSE On your breast a ruby rose you wear, Pretty rose so soon to fade away, Nothing in its beauty to compare, With the blushes that your cheeks betray. There's a rose that's fairer still I vow, Sweeter far than any garden grows, Should you doubt me I can prove it now: Bounteous nature made your mouth a rose. Never was a rose to me so fair. All that I possess I bring to thee; All the love the human heart can bear, Praying you will give that rose to me. CREAM TOASTS WHEN WERE YOU HAPPIEST? When were your happiest moments, What was your hour of bliss, When your cup of joy was fullest, my boy, From your earliest day to this? 'Twas when you had won some honor You haven't forgotten I wis It was mother and you, when her prayers came true, And heaven got into her kiss. REAM TOASTS MAKE A SWEETHEART OF YOUR WIFE Since you're bound to have a sweetheart, Make a sweetheart of your wife ; When you've tried it for a fortnight You will keep it up for life. There is nothing in creation That will bring such big returns, And supply that bit of heaven For which every mortal yearns. CREAM TOASTS SEEKING THE GIRL TO LOVE ME I'm seeking a girl to love me, With eyes like the stars above me; Tho* ofttimes I worry I'm not in a hurry So please give me time and don't shove me. 36 CREAM TOASTS IT CAN'T BE DONE How oft you hear the thoughtless say: "It can't be done!" As though they knew the only way Success is won When, out there steps a modest man, By skill a master artisan, Who says: "Excuse me, but it can!" Then starts to do it. There's nothing seems beyond the skill Of men with brain, That pushing engine called the will Which starts the train. Success you find not sitting down; CREAM TOASTS If you would gain her precious crown Just add a verb unto the noun The verb : go to it ! 38 REAM TOASTS WHAT IS RIGHT Whatever your conscience says is right You may as well believe it, For conscience never gives up the fight And none of your wiles deceive it. 39 CREAM TOASTS BEFORE AND AFTER Here's to the man, howe'er we judge By heart or brain, who will not fudge. The best of us have frailties hid That show not till we lift the lid; Some men we deem worth looking at Are bald beneath their silken hat. Some men in war bear terror's name, But when at home grow very tame. And many a hero cries forsooth When up against an aching tooth. Some youths look fair as a bud in spring, But not so fair through the wedding ring. For when they're wed their faults unfold And show the half was never told. CREAM TOASTS SLANDER Here's to the man who holds his tongue, And sets no tales a-flying; Has no insinuations flung Where some good name is dying. Slander has one only eye But two great ears like platters; A tongue that rattles to supply The venom that she scatters. 41 CREAM TOASTS THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS MAN There was a man who sought to cure His neighbors' sins on rigid lines A sort of moral osteopath To straighten up their wicked spines; When finally it came to pass This hypocrite turned into stone He'd faced a magic looking glass Reflecting sin and saw his own. 42 CREAM TOASTS LOOKING AHEAD The young man would the daughter wed; To him the father spoke his mind : "Your prospects are too far ahead, Your credit is too far behind. "A life of leisure you have led And love has made you now so blind You cannot see a foot ahead But you shall feel a foot behind." 43 CREAM TOASTS THE SUFFRAGETTE At the restaurant table he met A militant lady, you bet! So often I've seen you I'll pay for both me-n-u, So the man and the sweet suffrag-et. CREAM TOASTS THE WEDDING BANQUET Here we sit at Love's banquet where two lives unite From the pathway of joy and the trail of delight. We pledge you in draughts from the vintage divine With a nectar more sweet than the rose-colored wine. 'Tis the wine the immortals concocted, we think, As the only intoxicant lovers should drink. From the grapes of Devotion this love-wine is pressed And its flavor will keep while 'tis held as the best. CREAM TOASTS Tis the sunshine condensed into clear amber dew With a pearl in the love-cup for her and for you. CREAM TO TO THE ABSENT ONES Here's to those who can never come; To their memories now we play the host : While our hearts beat low like the muffled drum To the lip of silence we raise the toast. 47 CREAM TOASTS WHAT WE GET OUT OF LIFE Our life resembles much the soil, Pays back for seed for thought and toil. Whatever wampum we invest We get.it back with interest; No matter what in life we win, We get out more than we put in. But if our sins got their just due The Lord help me, the Lord help you. 48 EAM TOASTS THANKSGIVING Thanks to the Lord for the good things we eat, Thanks to the Lord for the home where we meet, For our parents and wives And the loves of our lives And the sweetest of sweethearts all sweet. 49 CREAM TOASTS CONSCIENCE Here's to the moral censor That tells you right from wrong, The stern old truth dispenser That guides you all along. You hear the voice inside you, You can't mistake its tone, 'Tis always there to guide you But lets you act alone. No matter who may flout you On this you may rely 'Tis the only thing about you That never tells a lie. WOMEN IN MATHEMATICS Men never can with women vie As mathematics well attest: Whether they add or multiply We note their figures are the best. CREAM TOASTS THE SHARK AND THE WHALE The Shark and the Whale went to feed-o; Said the Shark "You would better take heed-o, I've a lump in my chest Which I cannot digest For I've swallowed a German torpedo." "You'll die-jest like a busted bologna," Said the Whale, "but I've pangs of my own-a, For in spite of what's wrote On the size of my throat I've just swallowed a submarine Jonah." 52 CREAM TOASTS IRONY How noble 'tis to be dead drunk And turn oneself to human junk ; Lie down amidst the filth and dirt And never have your conscience hurt ; Be so offensive to the view That e'en your dog's ashamed of you; Thrice noble Sir, in this you see The highest type of irony. To you who tipple now and then The railway monarchs need such men; The bankers need the men who think Hence they employ young men who drink; The merchant much prefers his lass Should wed the youth of social glass ; CREAM TOASTS One spirit toast pray drink with m< The Spirit of this irony. CREAM TOASTS KEEP A SMILE ON YOUR FRONT YARD Make a playground of your features Where the smiles come out to play; Let your feelings take a recess As they did in childhood's day. Turn the sunshine on your nature, Never let your face grow hard, Tear away the picket fences, Keep a smile on your front yard. CREAM TOASTS GREET THE DAY Go greet the new day early That blushes beyond the hill, Far out of the hurly burly Where the God of man is still. Get a sip of sunshine glory Well mixed with morning dew, Uncover your upper story And praise the Lord anew. CREAM TOASTS VICE AND ADVICE The vulgar will ever entice; In the grip of its clutches we fall ; If we followed our mother's advice We would hardly have vices at all. CREAM TOASTS STUBS HIS TOE There's perfect happiness, boundless joy, In the first warm day to the country boy, With his shoes pulled off and his white feet bare, He is racing his dog who has speed to spare : There's a wince, then a smile, for he hates to show How much it hurts when he stubs his toe. But rare is the man who will never squeal When he stubs his toe in a business deal. We are not so brave as the barefoot lad, We are apt to swear and go crazy mad And blame the world for our business woe When we make a blunder and stub the toe. CREAM TOASTS AS GOOD AS HE CAN BE No man you'll agree Is as good as can be Though as good as the Master expected If he does what he can For the poor of his clan And plays a square game With his fellow man He will find he's among the elected. CREAM TOAST THE PAINTER All hail to the marvelous Painter Who colors the glorious dawn, Blots the stars from the canvas of morning Jre He gathers the dew from the lawn. And the Artist who flings down the shadows Where the cattle lie under the trees, Blends the greens and the purples of mountains With the blue of the sky and the seas. And the colorful fresco of sunset When the clouds and the sea turn to wine ; Which is best of the pictures we know not But the Painter we know is divine. TODAY Why pause to weep Or vigil keep O'er some dead yesterday? Do not repine Nor stop to whine But put the corpse away. Get up and smile And stretch awhile Then start another lay; Fill up your chest And do your best To beat it out today. CREAM TOASTS THE SPARE RIB God took the rib that Adam had to spare; A spare rib made not asking Adam's leave ; And though man love the rosy morning rare His conduct shows he much adores the Eve. CREAM TOASTS IS WHISKEY GOOD! If whiskey is so very good, Inquired the thoughtful lad, Why does it make old Mister Wood So very, very bad? It makes him rave and fight and swear, And shunned where'er he goes. His children have no shoes to wear And all have ragged clothes. And what about each drunken sot Around the neighborhood? They must have been a sorry lot If whiskey did 'em good. CREAM TOASTS ALWAYS THERE ON TIME To one who is worthy of rhyme Like a faithful clock to chime; He's a friend preferred Never breaks his word And he's always there on time. CREAM TOASTS MY NEIGHBOR'S ROSE AND MINE My neighbor's rose across the line Is just as beautiful as mine And ever closely they entwine Their twigs together. When roses talk, as roses may, Their velvet petals seem to say Tis well that neighbors live alway In sunny weather. My neighbor has a daughter fair Of which my son is well aware For oft I see the loving pair Exchanging roses. And not to let brave chances slip, CREAM TOASTS Exchanging roses of the lip As though they'd formed a partnership Beneath their noses. 66 DO THE THING THAT IS HANDY To do your share of kindly deeds Don't look too far away. One never needs a telescope To see a load of hay. God puts the things that He needs done So very, very nigh, You never need to hunt for one Nor even strain your eye. CREAM TOASTS THE LINNET The red-throated linnet Who sings by the minute Outside of my chamber window. He sings in a hurry And don't seem to worry As to whether I'm Yankee or Hindu. The notes come a-tumble, A melody jumble; He's singing for all there is in it; When you put them together You cannot tell whether The tune is at fault or the linnet. 68 TOASTS No life would be dreary If men were more cheery And copied the birds in their chorus. Let happiness borrow The songs of tomorrow And fling all their melody o'er us. 69 CREAM TOASTS THE SIGN BOARD How absolute the index hand Upon the sign board there. It simply points in dumb command As though 'twould have you understand The way that you must fare. Some meager fact it has to show This hand that never delves Much like some men that you may know Who point the way that you should go But never go themselves. 70 CREAM TOASTS THE REWARD OF LABOR What matter who reaps or who sows? When the harvest is over, if one does his share, The reward of the worker in heaven some- where Will be the forgetting of woes. The weary appreciate rest ; The sunshine is brightest just after the rain; The greatest relief is the freedom from pain; And the joy after sorrow is best. Don't grumble because of your lot: The meek and the lowly will sometime com- pare The rapture eternal with former despair And be glad of the things they had not. CREAM TOASTS RECORDS The phonographic records seem Like melody in stone Some singer smiling in a dream But how about your own? The voice of one we cannot see Rings out in mellow tone; We guard that record carefully, But how about our own? REAM TOASTS THE THINKER AND THE DOER Whoever has wrought An excellent thought Or given the world a fable, Set a window light On a darksome night; Or loaded a poor man's table; Who hath given a sip To the thirsty lip From Charity's ruby wine, He shall find in sooth If the words be truth Once uttered in Palestine. CREAM TOASTS MENU FOR THE DAY For breakfast have a smile to spare, A kindly deed well done, With gentle words not over rare, A dish of seasoned fun. For lunch a few warmed over jokes With light frivoli-tea. But serve no roast for other folks With whom you disagree. For dinner don't bring in a broil Nor have a family stew. Give salad lots of olive oil And dessert the sweetmeats due. CREAM TOASTS THE UNIVERSAL SHRINE Nature provides a single shrine To which all humans trend, Where creeds are neither mine nor thine Yet here all mortals bend. Man's common altar is the rose; The little child to worship goes And all through life its ardor grows Increasing to the end. No man so wicked, mean or vile, E'en though he be a sot, But at some flower will stop a while, In field or garden plot, And bend him to inhale a prayer That flowers utter on the air, For roses their own incense bear By palace, hall or cot. 76 CREAM TOASTS THE WANTON SONGS OF WINE How easy sung the wanton songs of wine, The surcharged senses revel while men drink ; The brain anhungered even while they dine, To such foul use who bring the luscious vine Besotted live and to oblivion sink. CREAM TOASTS THE MAN AT THE MILL A man is a mill to grind what he will But grind his grist he must Till this turning sphere with its unseen gear Shall grind him back to dust. We may scoff and laugh at the hulls and chaff But the wheel keeps turning round. And what will we say when we come to weigh The corn that we have ground? For the good we grind in the mill-stone mind And the kindly deeds we do Will open the door to the Evermore With welcome to me and you. TOASTS PAT'S OPINION OF FLAGS But one of the prettiest flags that I know Is the great oriflamb Of our old Uncle Sam; With its red and white bars all laid out in a row, And a nice pasture blue for the bright stars to grow, With the eagle above And around it the dove. Of the Star Spangled Banner alone, it is said She has earned this renown She was never pulled down. With the green on my grave and that flag overhead I think I'll rest aisy! But wait till I'm dead. THE GOOD OLD TIMES Let them prate as they will of the good old times, They have done it for ages past, Forgetting to note as they ring the old chimes The world is advancing so fast: The engines of yesterday lie on the scrap And we laugh at our grandfather's ways, For his journey of months with his oxen may- hap We can make in a couple of days. 80 CREAM TOASTS The tallow-dip past is electric today! What light from the past shall we borrow? Let us talk, let us fly through the air how we may, They'll be laughing at us on the morrow. 81 CREAM TOASTS TO CREATE To think a thought which no one thought before ; To plant a rose beside some cheerless door. Create a joy in some poor, ragged breast Where simple joy is such a seldom guest. To bear a gift unto some longing lad Who little wants and little makes so glad. Creating bliss in some unwonted heart Makes you Creator and of God a part. CREAM TOASTS SILVER WEDDING How blest the sight when we behold In these divorceful days A wedded love that grows not cold And neither heart betrays. Love is like the red, red rose Hard by the cottage door: Each pelting rain it undergoes But makes it blush the mote. Tend well this rose beside the door, "Pis Cupid's royal crest; Its fragrance will the heart restore : Old roses are the best. CREAM TOASTS GRAPE JUICE Here's to the juice of the vine With the poisoning devil left out; For the demon that lurks in the wine Good women are putting to rout. 'Tis as pure as the blood that redeems, In its color no wretchedness shows, In its sleep no delirious dreams Nor crimes, nor inebriate woes. 'Twas the miracle wine at the feast; And we beg of the Master divine One miracle further, at least: Turn all liquor to innocent wine. CREA M T O A S T S In kissing the goblet for him, The maiden can harbor no fears That her love-wine aflood to the brim Will be turned by her lover to tears. The father while toasting the son Knows grape juice will never impart That demon of thirst in the one While breaking the other one's heart. REAM WHENEVER IN DOUBT DON'T DO IT A health to the man who is willing to wait While adding all diligence to it. Let none get the itch to be wealthy or great; When the doorway is open go through it. Don't swallow a statement that's sugared out- side Like a pharmacy pill, with your mouth open wide. But let this good maxim be ever your guide : Whenever in doubt don't do it! CREAM TOASTS YOUR BEST FRIEND (Yourself) Here's to the very best friend you know, You've known him all your life ; He never quarrels with you although He often gets you in strife. He smokes your cigars and wears your clothes And you're forced to pay his way, But he's fond of you and he always knows Some very nice things to say. He excuses the errors that you have made, Whatever your lot he'll share. And when it comes to the final spade You'll find him waiting there. HONEYMOON DAYS How many make sport of the honeymoon days, How the cynical bachelor sneers, While the man who is sunburnt with dissolute rays And the mortal who treads in irregular ways And the moral iconclast jeers. But the honeymoon journey will always be sweet And last to the end of your life, If you make of your cottage a lover's retreat, And ever at table give Cupid a seat, And never feed Discord nor Strife. CREAM TOAST THE CHEERFUL MAN AND THE GROUCH All hail to the man with a smile and a song, Who says "How d'do!" as he's passing along; Who gives you "Good morning" and brings you good cheer, And tells you of things that are pleasant to hear. But the grouch is a nuisance, his vision is short, His judgment is bilious, his brain has a wart, You cannot be bothered with what you abhor So bid him go plumb to what Sherman calls war. M TOAST THE FARMER Here's to the monarch who owns the soil; Of independence and cheerful toil. His barns are full and his stock well fed. His cellar is crammed; and be it said He's the only man in the nation wide Who can close his gate and stay inside And say to the merchant and money king, "I'll see you later sometime next spring." While the man outside in hunger begs For his golden hen can lay no eggs. YOUR MOVING PICTURE Be careful what picture you're leaving today On the negative plate in their hearts For the children to see when you're taken away And the film through the memory starts. On the screen of the future to them you'll appear In the great moving film you have made. It cannot be changed, all the pictures are clear And never through life will they fade. CREAM TOAST IT WAS HELL There was a man who oft denied A place like hell existed. One night he dreamed that he had died Something he ate which had been fried "What place is this," the dreamer cried, "To which I have been listed?" He saw more men than he could tell With not a woman showing; A Scotchman said, "Judge for yoursel'." The dreamer sighed : "I know it well, No women here this must be hell! Excuse me friends, I'm going." 92 REAM TOASTS THE KNOCKER AND THE BOOSTER Who invented the Knocker No mortal can tell Nor why he's a blocker Of things going well; Perchance he's a shocker To warn folks of hell. Nor Webster nor Worcester Can tell us just when Yet God made the Booster To encourage good men As He gave out the rooster To encourage the hen. THE BIRTHDAY RING The ring, the child, a mother's arms enfold ; A flawless jewel in the clutch of gold. What greater love can any mother show? What greater joy can happy childhood know? To keep that life within a golden band Let honor lead and virtue hold the hand. Then, should the spirit slip from out the ring There's life eternal where the angels sing. By the same author BUTTERED TOASTS Every one of the eighty-two toasts is new and original and as charming as all the work of this popular humorist. None is "dry toast." They throb with wit and human interest. "Clever, sparkling toasts by one of the brightest poets of the day." San Francisco News Letter. "This book will be a blessing to all after-dinner speakers." Boston Globe. "Very clever and sensible." Book News Monthly. "It will make any fellow's mouth water and cause him to ask for more." Seattle Post Intelligencer. "Brooks is a poet; he is a genius." New York World. "Brooks' poems abound in pathos, wit and humor." Chicago Record-Herald. "There is in Mr. Brooks' verses a freshness and vivid- ness that rivets the attention of the reader." Columbus State Journal. Attractive cover in colors. Price, 50 cents FORBES & CO., Publishers, Chicago TOAST BOOKS BY FRED EMERSON BROOKS "Brooks is a great poet and a genius of great ability. Humor and pathos abound throughout his poems, and many partake of the inspiration of the war-drum, but he is thoroughly at home in whatever strain of melody he chooses to adopt." Atlanta Constitution. PICKETT'S CHARGE AND POEMS OTHER "There is in Brooks' poems the dash of the unexpected, like a cavalry charge." GENERAL PHIL SHERIDAN. Cloth, 12mo, gilt top, 214 pages, $1.25. OLD ACE AND OTHER POEMS "There is a freshness and music and joyousness and jollity and naturalness in Fred Emerson Brooks' poems that make them charming. In the handsome volume the reader can find something for every mood and condi- tion. He can shed tears or laugh; he can be jolly or sad." Chicago Inter Ocean. Cloth, 12mo, gilt top, 208 pages, $1.25. FORBES & CO., Publishers, Chicago