Revelations, Tha epistle 
 of Nathan the v;ise.
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 AJ LOS ANGELES
 
 HBVSLATIONS. 
 
 The EPISTLE of NATHAN the WISE. 
 
 Nathan the Wise, Sons son of he that spake the Parable of the 
 Tliree Rings, whereof the Scribe, Les Sing, sang unto the Tribes of 
 the Old World. 
 
 To the People of the New World, to all that dwell in the Land of 
 Column By-her. Greeting: 
 
 Let Prosperity come and abide with you, and let the pursuit of 
 happiness be the birthright of your children's children forevermore. 
 
 I salute you not in the name of Peace, for there is not Peace, and 
 Stagnation stills the Loom. 
 
 For ye have heard One come from the Temple of Teaching, testi- 
 fying all was Peace, even while the water wheels stood still, and the 
 Miller's child cried for bread. 
 
 No man mistaketh Prosperity even in the night. 
 
 Behold these Revelations. Not ye who cry the cry of Cain, but 
 ye who feel when your kinsman faileth, and also ye that meet upon 
 the Level and part upon the Square, read thei^e things which are 
 written concerning the three Par-Ties ; that which has risen, that 
 which has waxed strong, and that which decayeth. 
 
 Read, that Prosperity become your portion, and that the greatest 
 good, for the greatest number, be a Law unto your Leaders. 
 
 JOHN HEIGHES DONLEVY, PUBLISHER; 
 
 NEW YORK, BOSTON AND PHILADEDPHTA. 
 1878. 
 
 lOuujied ttcoordiug en Aclof (JoDgreas, A D. 1878, by .loliu llelgbe.i Dunlevy.
 
 THE LAND OF COLUMN-BY-HER. 
 
 In the land which is called Column-By-her, the people 
 know no sovereign save one alone — King Dollar. 
 
 And the river of Corruption flowed through that land. 
 
 Now, in days of old, that land had been watered by a 
 goodly stream called Byseness, which nourished the shores 
 of the country. 
 
 But the Phillistines of the land of Column-By-her 
 drained the river of Byseness, that they might swell the 
 river of Corruption. 
 
 And the Philistines were a multitude of re-Publicans and 
 sinners and De-Mick-O-Rats. 
 
 And there were of these a goodly quantity of Money- 
 crats, who did desire in the vain glory of their hearts to be 
 called Aristocrats, even as they called a tribe in the land of 
 Bullion. 
 
 But the Moneycrats had the wickedness of the Aristo 
 crats without their good breeding and their culture ; they 
 were ignorant, and their blood was not blue. 
 
 Polo they knew, and 5-20 Bonds, and they were as the 
 white flowers that groweth up in a night of rain from a 
 swamp, which are called chaises de 'Johnny Crapeau^ which, 
 being interpreted, is Toadstools. 
 
 And the Toadstools, which were Moneycrats, and the 
 re-Publicans and sinners and the De-Mick-O-Rats op- 
 pressed the People of the land of Column-By-her, and 
 vexed them sore. 
 
 Now the Feathers of the People did bequeath unto them 
 and unto their children a Ship of State, built for Freight 
 and for Speed, broad in the beam, sloping in graceful curve,
 
 docile to the helm that the currents of parting waters might 
 aid and not impede her course. 
 
 But the river of Corruption was clogged with the lum- 
 ber of Iniquity, and pirates did infest that water, and it 
 was covered with slime, and all things foul and barnacles 
 did hang to the Ship of State and cover its sides, and the 
 good ship could not sail on that stagnant water. 
 
 And the river of Byseness was running low. 
 
 And they that were Phillestines sent one Emissary, called 
 Skenk the Cunning, to the land of Bullion to teach the 
 Aristocrats how they should play on the bluff, and when he 
 did not play on the bluff he sang in a soft voice, " Whoa, 
 Emma Mine!" And he taught bluff to Quay. 
 
 Now Skenk waxed fat in the days of Ulysses the First, 
 who had been a great warrior ; and when the wars were 
 ended he became a sampler, and could tell the juices of 
 different herbs, one from another. 
 
 And he drove fiery horses to his chariot, and the people, 
 which were Philistines, did set aside the law on a day, and 
 he fractured the Sabbath by driving Dexter ously at 2-and- 
 something a mile. 
 
 Before all this had come in the fullness of time, there 
 were tidings from North and from South and from East 
 and from West, of great deeds, of the righteous and the 
 wicked ; and from many lands afar off, and the doings 
 therein ; and the People did write these things upon paper 
 and they called them Newspapers. 
 
 Now the re-publicans and Sinners and the De Mick-O- 
 Rats, and the iMoneycrats — Toad stools, did by soft speech 
 and hard money bribe the scribes of the Newspapers, say- 
 ing- 
 Write ye not unto the People of our iniquities, neither 
 publish unto them where we have robbed them and iheii
 
 ■X'll 
 
 children, but say all things are well, and when they ask 
 for meat say unto them molasses is sweeter. 
 
 And the Phillistines caused a great Fence to be built 
 around the Newspapers. And the Newspapers did get on 
 that Fence. 
 
 And when the workingmen, which were the People of 
 that land did murmur among themselves, and they said in 
 their anger that the Poll-lie-Tycians were not men of their 
 race but puppets drawn by wires. 
 
 Now the Poll-lie-Tycians were men of the land whom 
 the PfiOPLe had sent to the White House, wherein sat the 
 ruler of the land, to complain to him of their grievances. 
 
 These that were sent were called Poll-lie-Tycians. Poll, 
 
 because they were given to many speeches even as the 
 
 green bird is given, Lie because they could lie any way, 
 
 ^in any manner, soever, and blow as the wind listeth, and 
 
 S Tycians, because they did put many brilliant colors on 
 
 -their canvass. 
 
 >- 
 
 5 And the Poll-lie-Tycians were like unto the physicians 
 £5 who can cure only a fever, and so first get the sick man 
 3B- into that fever. 
 
 ^ And the Poll-lie-Tycians had said unto the People — 
 "=^ O ye noble People. Ye horny handed sons of toil. We 
 love ye. Your wrongs are our wrongs. Ye are our 
 brethern and our sisters, ye and your wives and your chil- 
 dren. 
 
 And the Poll-lie-Tycians sat in the houses of the horny 
 handed sons of toil, and embraced their children and fed 
 them with pop-corn and gave their wives and daughters a 
 free writing to the Sent-en you all. 
 
 But they were men of deceit and when they had entered 
 into the White House they forgot the horny handed sons 
 of toil, nor did they embrace the infant of the workingman 
 
 295605
 
 on the Broadway, on the Avenue Pennsylvania, nor on 
 the road of Walnuts. 
 
 Moreover in the hardness of their hearts the PoU-lie- 
 Tycians forgot that the loaves and the fishes were for the 
 multitude, and they did keep them all in their selfish greed. 
 And the same Spirit which did make Ropes in the old 
 world did make rings in the new which is the land of 
 Column-By her. 
 
 And it came to pass that the lord of All-bony — which is 
 in New York, that lieth to the middle of the land of 
 Column-By her — who was called Rob his-son, did desire 
 to put to the sword, the schools of learning. And already 
 there were not schools enough for the young children of 
 the People. 
 
 But this he did, that the Philistines might spend the 
 substance of the People in faring sumptuously on Cham- 
 pagne at the hotel Broomstick, and riz de veau a la Finan- 
 ciered which being interpreted is. He smileth like a calf to 
 a young virgin with money. 
 
 And the People murmured among themselves, saying, 
 " Lo, they taketh away the writings of the prophets from 
 our children, and they know not themselves how to write. 
 For thev spell Freedom, Free-dumb and I^iberty, Lie-but- 
 tie ! " 
 
 Now before these things were fulfilled, in a far of} land 
 that lieth beyond the Sea, the Rlmigrants said. We will 
 shake the dust of Fu-Rope from our bare feet and we will 
 depart unto the land of King Dollar, where we, and our 
 wives and our childrc-n may have meat with our bread each 
 day. 
 
 But when these Fmigrants were come to the land ot 
 Column By-her, and did labor, they got not their just 
 wages, nor meat but once in seven ot the days. 
 
 And when their children asked for bread, the mothers fell
 
 upon their husbands' necks and wept ; and the men cried 
 out, " How long shall this thing be ?" 
 
 And Henrv-Bread-and-Water-Beecher came and preached 
 unto them, saying, " Know ye not that bread is meat to the 
 honest laborer, and that water is wine to the sober working 
 man. What will ye ? Why do ye cry out because ye 
 have only bread ; do not even the Europe-ins the same ?" 
 
 And they murmured the more, and said in a loud voice : 
 " Discontent was ever the foe of Stand-still from the be- 
 ginning. Did not the Pilgrims come to Plymouth that 
 they might.be delivered out of the bondage of the Philis- 
 tines ?" 
 
 And one scribe, which did sit on the fence, called W- 
 aitch-aitch, wrote : Peradventure, the working man is not 
 worthy of his higher wages, and " he should be content to remain 
 in the station in life to xvhich It has pleased God to call him.'' 
 
 And the people waxed wroth, and said : " This is the 
 W-aitch-aitch that knoweth less of the Lord on high than 
 any other Newspaper Scribe. Go up, thou aged sinner." 
 
 And when the winter was come the snow whitened the 
 earth, and the roadside was heaped with frozen rain. And 
 the men which did punch with care in the presence of the 
 passenjare, and the horses which bore the burden, fell sick 
 of an Epizootic^ 
 
 Which is from the Arabic, and meaneth to sneeze. And 
 the Epizootic did kill many horses, and they and their 
 drivers did die of suffering and want. 
 
 And the Stockholder said to a Passenjare, " This suffer- 
 ing grieveth my heart and maketh my soul heavy with woe." 
 
 And the Passenjare said, "And my heart, too, beateth in 
 pity for the poverty and suffering of my fellow men." 
 
 And the Stockholder said : " Comprehendeth thou not 
 that my woe is for the loss of my horses. Men there are 
 in plenty to fill these dead men's shoes ?"
 
 And the Philistines, re-Publicaiis and Sinners, and De- 
 MickO-Rats and Moneycrats, Toadstools, did cause to be 
 made men which were full of iniquity — sitters in high 
 places at big Salaries and perquisites. 
 
 A certain rich man died and left his substance in the care 
 of a Steward, an unjust Judge, who was a Philistine, and 
 sat at meat with the Moneycrats and Toadstools in high 
 places. 
 
 And the rich man had said to the unjust Judge, "Take 
 ye my bag of gold and do good with it, for I have been a 
 hard man in this life, reaping where I have not sown ; but 
 that there may be those who shall say, ' He did good at the 
 last.' 
 
 " Take this bag of gold, and pay workmen to build a 
 house for the women of Column-By-her ; and it shall be 
 called The Woman's Home." 
 
 And the rich man was buried in pomp, tor he was a 
 merchant prince, and he bought rare silks and cunning 
 stuffs of the loom, and in his house were rich curtains and 
 floors of rare marble, and on his tables were bric-a-brac 
 and decorated pottery. 
 
 Now when he was alone with the gold the unjust Judge 
 said, I will build a wondrous palace with monograms on 
 its glass arches and Torchon lace ruffles on its floor cover- 
 ings, the pillars of it shall be trimmed with side-plaited 
 ruffles, and turquoise beads shall hang from its ceiling, 
 borders of white satin shall adorn the furnace thereof, and 
 the food of it shall be carried in this little basket. 
 
 And he did even as he said. And the Newspapers 
 puffed him in fulsome praise, and said, He is a Philanthro- 
 pist as it were. 
 
 And the women from the North and the South, and the 
 East and the West and the country round about, did come 
 with their shawl straps, and knocked at the door of The
 
 Women's Home and behold they said, who opened it, 
 Tarrv awhile, for into here ye cannot come until all is 
 proven against ye. And the women departed sorrowing. 
 The next dav they went again and the unjust Judge did 
 give them keys to enter, and lo and behold the keys would 
 not fit the doors, and the women departed in wrath saving, 
 Heisafraudonthepublic, so to speak. 
 
 Which being interpreted means a Dead-beat, as it were 
 
 And the women who could not enter the Woman's 
 
 Haven which the rich man had given unto them, went to 
 
 the Newspapers crying, Avenge us, avenge us. Ye pens 
 
 of the People. 
 
 And the Newspapers did say. Not so. We cannot do 
 this thing, for if we should avenge ye and showimup in the 
 newspapers, our Ads will be as the grass of the field which 
 to day is, and to-morrow our canvasser cannot collect. 
 
 But go ye to the highways and byways and gather them 
 into the dwelling of Peter the Cooper, and when ye are 
 assembled then shall it be given ye to speak and ye may 
 showimup to the People. 
 
 Now at the appointed time in the dwelling of Peter the 
 Cooper, there did gather together old men and young 
 women and aged mothers and children, the poor, the 
 noble and the honest working women, and the rich who 
 were not Phillistines, who came to hear the women show- 
 imup, which was the unjust Judge. 
 
 And Lillian and Anna and a righteous woman who 
 healed the sick and lame, wrote what she should say and 
 Matilda spoke it. 
 
 And three young men who came to deride the women 
 who showedimup were driven out of the dwelling by Peter 
 the Cooper. 
 
 And the women who showedimup spake, and played 
 upon the harp and sang in a loud voice.
 
 8 
 
 "And it stopped short, never to go again, when the old 
 man died." 
 
 And the unjust Judge did say, Ha ha, this is a putup- 
 job by Ee Ess, whose surname is Jaffray, and Claflin H. B. 
 And he straightway turned the Wonmen's Home into a 
 Sample Room, where Phillistines may congregate in idle 
 communication. 
 
 And the Accusing Spirit flew to Heaven's Chancery with 
 this wrong, and blushed as he gave it in, and the Recording 
 Angel wept as he wrote it down. 
 
 And the tears fell upon the entry — '•'■A charity for good 
 
 women by a Merchant Prince " — and blotted it out forever. 
 
 And the unjust Judge said : " Women are so much 
 
 trouble." And the Newspapers interviewed him, and said 
 
 he speaketh truth, and the Scribes said ditto, ditto. 
 
 And the Newspapers each got a column ad. for thirty 
 days, and the printers called it phat. 
 
 Now, the Newspapers of the land of Column-By-her 
 were the Time Server, the Hearall and the Dryboon. 
 
 The Dryboon, in the days of old, was called the Try- 
 boon, and it was founded by one Horace Greeley, who said 
 that it should be so-called because it gave words of wisdom 
 to the People, that they should try to obtain the good boon 
 the earth giveth to all. 
 
 But the time came for Horace Greeley to be called to his 
 fathers, and his Try-boon passed into the hands of one 
 Whitelaw, surnamed Reed, because anyone might speak 
 through him. 
 
 And this Reed sold the Try-boon into the hands of the 
 Money Changer, and the People lost the Try-boon, and 
 it was called the Dryboon, which, being interpreted, means 
 that it is no boon to the buyer thereof. 
 
 And the Dryboon became a writing of iniquity and de- 
 spised by the honest men of the land.
 
 For its scribe did write whatsoever things the Money 
 Changer did command, and these writings brought woe to 
 many people of the land of Column-By-her. 
 
 For the tribes of the land that did love the Try-boon, 
 called Farmers, knew not that it had become the Dry-boon, 
 and in their ignorance thev put faith in the writings of that 
 Newspaper. 
 
 And that Dry-boon made false writings of Wall street 
 and stocks, and because of those writings the Money 
 Changer robbed the Farmers of their savings for years. 
 And the Farmers beat their breasts, and said, " Thou 
 breaker of Trust ! Thou evil Usurer, Dry-boon ! 
 
 And the Farmers joined the tribe of the Back Labor ! 
 all ye Green People. 
 
 And in the city of Brotherly Love there was also A 
 Childs' Paper ; but, at sundry times, old women did read it. 
 
 The city of Brotherly Love was not called so in derision, 
 nevertheless that it was there that honor was not even 
 amongst theives. 
 
 For they did send to Gotham for their merry repeaters, 
 and said, Come hither, ye merry repeaters and sing for us 
 at our banquet. And the merry repeaters from Gotham 
 came, and sang the tunes for the City of Brotherly Love. 
 
 And when the banquet was over and the Boxes were 
 stuffed, and the Returns were all in, the City of Brotherly 
 Love said to the merry repeaters : 
 
 "Ye dishonest thieves, get thee out of our city. Ye 
 are vile wretches. 1 will not pay ye for your tunes. Who's 
 your parents ?" 
 
 And the Merry Repeaters got. And never since that 
 banquet will they tune their pipes for the City of Brotherly 
 Love -, and a blight has come upon their Boxes. 
 
 The Scribe who wrote the Childs' Paper was also the
 
 10 
 
 Poet of the Wake. He was the great Flunkey of Column- 
 By-her, and he was a rich man. 
 
 He gave to the workingman an Almanac, and gave to 
 the land of Bullion for their Temple a red glass instrument 
 called Kaleidescope, which is Arabic and meaneth, It is 
 thin enough to see through. 
 
 And another Newspaper did write, It is better for us 
 that John Shirrmoney shall be our next ruler, and the 
 People said, He shall not rule over us, and it were better 
 for him he had not been born, if he tries that little game 
 on. 
 
 Now this John was called Shirrmoney because he gath- 
 ered together the gold of the land even as a maker of robes 
 fixeth the back breadths, massing the stuffs in one place 
 be-hind. 
 
 And Thomas the Scott said, I must get my Texas and 
 Pacific bill through this fall of the year, that the People 
 may have improvements in the land. And then he sang 
 in a soft voice — 
 
 Yankee cock a doodle doo, 
 Tra la la la, la lee. 
 
 And the Back Labor ! All ye Green people, said to 
 Thomas the Scot, Tommy, make room for your Uncle 
 Sam. We have no mouth for Taffy. 
 
 For the People were vexed with the Phillistines, 
 and Thomas the Scot was a Phillistine and a Moneycrat. 
 
 And when Blain, a prophet from the East, would have 
 spoken to them, the multitude said unto him, Pull down 
 your raiment. What's the price of fish in mass ? 
 
 Now, after Ulysses the First had left the seat of the 
 White House, the People did appoint Sam Jay Till- 
 then to be ruler over them. 
 
 But the Phillistines did steal away the throne while Sam 
 Jay Till-then was in a deep slumber, and while he had
 
 11 
 
 gone to pay his poll tax, the re-Publican sinners did put 
 Rue the-fraud Haze into the seat. 
 
 And when the People did murmur and say this is not 
 good for our Constitution ; it will weaken our frame ; our 
 pulse is low, and we need good food to nourish and quicken 
 our body politic. 
 
 The Phillistines said unto them, taste this Cherry Elec- 
 toral bark, it is put up in attractive form with fresh labels 
 and is included in the Pharmacopoeia, which is from the 
 Greek, and meaneth it was scooped out of a lawyer's 
 Farm. 
 
 And the People tasted the Cherry Electoral bark, and 
 they said : " Lo, it is a bitter draught; we will have it 
 analyzed by the investigating Physician, to say if it is good 
 for our Constitution." 
 
 And they appointed Investigating Committees of Physi- 
 cians to analyze the Cherry Electoral bark, and they found 
 much evil in the tonic with the new label. 
 
 And they found so much that was bad for the Constitu- 
 tion in the Cherry Electoral bark, that the Phillistines 
 appointed more Committees to cover up that which they 
 had discovered. 
 
 And Investigating Committees swarmed the land. 
 
 And in the regions of Jersey, which is in the Land of 
 Column-By-her, one sitter in the seat of Finance said, 
 " We will save the moneys, and we shall abolish first the 
 high temples of teaching and at last the temples of teach- 
 ing for young children. 
 
 And this man's name was Drohan, and he said, " Ten 
 dollars a month is sufficient wage for the virgin that work- 
 eth in the temple of teaching." And the People of the 
 region about Jersey were vexed at this saying of Drohan. 
 
 Now, in Jersey did dwell men of many crafts, makers 
 of silken webs, and glass, and repeaters, but these were
 
 12 
 
 not the merry Repeaters which stuft'ed Boxes, but small 
 cunning pieces of workmanship to mark the hours. 
 
 And in Jersey did the people need Temples of teaching 
 for the children, that they might grow to be skilled men of 
 honest craft. 
 
 THE GENEAOLOGY OF THE BACK LABOR! 
 ALL YE GREEN PEOPLE! 
 
 Peel of the land of Bullion spake thus unto his son. 
 The misery which the resumption of Specie shall cause to 
 the Workingmen mattereth not to me. I shall lay up gold 
 in my strong box by resumption of specie. 
 
 And the Resumption of Specie in Bullion begat the 
 oppressed people which fled to the land of Column By- 
 her, where thev prospered and enjoyed the right of life 
 liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 
 
 And the tidings of the land of Column-By-her reached 
 other lands, and oppressed peoples from all parts came to 
 the land of Column Byher. 
 
 And the people of this land chose a ruler to do their 
 bidding and other men who should serve them and their 
 ruler. 
 
 And the money changers bought the rulers and the 
 chosen men, who sold the People's birth-right for a mess 
 of pottage. 
 
 And the money changers, begat Poll-lie-Titians, and 
 the Poll-lie-Titians begat wars, and riots, and the riots 
 begat murder and villainy and filled the prisons and filled 
 them to over flowing. 
 
 And the Poll-lie-Titians begat Rings, and the Rings 
 begat Tweed, and Tweed begat unjust Judges, and the 
 unjust Judges begat a city in which no honest man might 
 safely dwell.
 
 And the Poll-lie-Titians begat National Banks, and In- 
 solvent Railways, and Credit Mobiliers, and Bonds and 
 robbed the People of their rights, and weighed them down 
 with taxes which they could not pay 
 
 And before this came to pass Abraham the Patriot begat 
 Greenbacks and healed the people's wounds, but the Bonds 
 which the Poll-lie-Titians begat put the Greenbacks to the 
 sword. 
 
 And the Poll lie-Titians begat the Devil, and the Devil 
 begat dishonest savings banks, and fraudulent life Insurance 
 Temples. 
 
 And the Poll-lie-Titians begat high seats for men of 
 which the people had no need, and did fill them with 
 Aldermen, and Coroners, and Merry Repeaters. 
 
 And the Poll-lie-Titians begat sufferings and wrongs to 
 the People who groaned under the weight of them, and 
 the wrongs, begat Strikes of Laborers, who had banded 
 together in Unions to protect their rights. 
 
 And the Strikes of the laborers divided the land and 
 made the people enemies one of the other, and vexed the 
 people of the Land of Column-By-her. 
 
 And the Bonds which the money changers begat, were 
 full of iniquity and begat all evil things. Corruption which 
 begat corrupt laws, which begat evil to the people, who 
 were defrauded of their pursuit of happiness. 
 
 And the Bond holders and the money changers, did be- 
 gat oppression in the great cities of the land of Column 
 Byher. 
 
 And in the Land of Gold the rights of the people were 
 taken from them by the money changers. Bond holders and 
 Poll-lie-Titians. 
 
 Now the land of gold lieth to the west of the land of 
 Column-By-her and is a fair and beautiful land, filled with 
 all good things fitted for man.
 
 But the Poll-Lie-Titians came to this land and begat 
 Mackey, O Brien, Fair and Flood and they owned the 
 Land of Gold fraudulently and wrested it from the people. 
 
 And they took the People's gold, and made with it tires 
 for the wheels of their chariots, and they took the People's 
 raiment, and built for themselves splendid palaces, and they 
 took the People's bread and bought for themselves wines 
 and sumptuous food. 
 
 And Mackey and O'Brien and Fair and Flood begat 
 a suffering, wronged, and bitter People. 
 
 And the Bitter People begat Car-Knee. 
 
 And it came to pass that the People of the land of Co- 
 lumn-By-her which were not Philistines, re publicans, sin- 
 ners, De Mick O'Rats, and Money crats, Toadstools, said, 
 ** With bitterness, we can think no good for our land ! The 
 ballot, not the bullet, be our stronghold ! " 
 
 Behold, the color of the Olive the same which the Dove 
 brought back to Noah, was Green — therefore should the 
 symbol Green-Back, be an Herald of Hope to the People. 
 
 NoTA. — Lest there be those who say, I give them false 
 writings ; that the Devil was from all time and was not 
 begotten of the Poll-lie-Titians, I answer, What I have 
 written let it stand. The Devil in these Revelations is the 
 beast of the land of Column-By-her. The Devil of all 
 time hath not yet been accused of selling his Country unto a 
 money changer. He hath not yet been accused of swear- 
 ing and drunkenness, neither when he sent soldiers to fight 
 for his Kingdom did he rob their wives and children. He 
 hath not been accused of being ruler of Trust companies 
 and fleeing with the treasure, and divers other wicked things 
 which the Poll-lie-Titians do daily.
 
 i5 
 
 CAR-KNEE, and the Murmurs of the MULTITUDE. 
 
 Car-knee, A prophet from the land ot gold, crying — 
 
 I am Car-knee. I come from the Sand of the Lots. 
 
 Now this same Car-knee was not taught by the learned 
 Doctors and Scribes of the Dry-Boon, yet did he swear 
 dam and his communication was not Ay and Nay. 
 
 His raiment was overalls of gray and a flannel shirt of 
 red was wound about his breast, and his meat was on the 
 European plan. 
 
 And he roamed about the land crying Behold I have 
 brought vials of wrath from the Land of Gold. 
 
 As I stood upon the Sand of the Lots, I saw beasts ride 
 up and over the land. 
 
 And the beast which 1 saw was like unto a leech and 
 his feet were made of silver and gold, and the Bulls and 
 Bears saw his power and fell down and worshipped it. 
 
 And now no man may buy and sell save those that have 
 the mark of the Beast upon their brow. 
 
 Hear Wisdom ! Let him that can number count the 
 cost ! 
 
 Know ye not that a golden calf is made and is set up to 
 be worshipped ? 
 
 And the multitude gathered about Cai-knee, and listened 
 and were troubled in their hearts. 
 
 And behold a certain lawyer stood up and tempted him 
 saying. Shall the laboring man have gold and honey and 
 silk ? 
 
 And Car-knee answered him. The laboring man shall 
 have meat with his bread though the harness of the rich 
 men's horses be despoiled of its gold. I have sworn it. 
 
 And while Car-knee thus spake a cloud came down and 
 overshadowed the multitude and they saw the cloud and 
 were sore afraid.
 
 And Car-kiice cried with a loud voice, Woe unto ye, re- 
 Publicans-Sinners ! Woe unto ye De-Miclc-O'Rats, for 
 if the mightv Government Works had been done in ye, the 
 workingman would not now mourn for sack cloth to contain 
 his ashes. 
 
 Woe unto ye lawyers for ye have laid men with burdens, 
 grievous to be borne, and ye yourselves touched not the 
 burdens with one of your fingers. 
 
 Woe unto ye Lawyers for ye have taken away the key 
 of knowledge. Ye enter not in yourselves, and them that 
 would enter ye hindered. 
 
 Ye hypocrites, ye can discern the face of the sky and of 
 the earth. How is it that ye do not discern this time. 
 
 And the Newspapers spake unto him saying. Tell us by 
 what authority sayest thou these things. 
 
 And he heeded them not, and lifted his voice to the 
 people. And the Newspapers followed him to a place 
 called Brotherly love where he sojourned. 
 
 And the Newspapers laid in wait for him, seeking to get 
 something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him. 
 
 And they wrote unto the People, He is a false prophet, 
 that seeketh to inflame a riot. 
 
 And the Moneycrats said of Car-knee, He is a beastly 
 Communist. 
 
 Then said the People to the Wise man. What is Com- 
 munism ? 
 
 And the Wise man answered them never a word, but 
 bent his head over a paper and wrote upon it. 
 
 And the multitude questioned him the more, saying 
 What is this thing called Communism. Tell us, we be- 
 seech thee. 
 
 And the wise man answered them and said, Not to 
 gather and keep in my stores, fine bread and fat meats, 
 wine and fruits, treasures of gold and silver, and precious
 
 17 
 
 stones of which I have not need, nor cunning garments 
 made by Worth, nor Polo, nor Coaching clubs when my 
 brother fainteth for a crust — This is Communism. 
 
 And a woman murmured. Is not this Christianity ? 
 
 And an aged Rabbi spake. So taught Moses and the 
 prophets from the beginning. 
 
 And one from the land Celestial muttered. So taught 
 Confucius six thousand years ago. 
 
 And the Wise-man said, Peace ! Trouble not your 
 hearts for a word. It is Humanity. 
 
 And the multitude marvelled among themselves and said 
 it was not bad to take. 
 
 And Car-knee cried. Woe unto ye Re-publicans-Sinners 
 for it shall be more tolerable at the Judgment for Tweed 
 than for you. 
 
 The Queen of the South shall rise up in the Judgment 
 with the men of this generation and condemn them. 
 
 O ye that exclaimed against the slavery of the black 
 man and yet enslaveth your white brethren. 
 
 For what is greater bondage than to be in the chains of 
 the Bondholders, and to labor and receive no wages, nor 
 time but for the little season of slumber ! 
 
 And I had a vision and I saw a great white House and 
 him that sat in it, and he spake unto me trembling and I 
 said within myself, Rue-the fraud, whose surname art Haze, 
 You're too small for the place. 
 
 Let this saying sink down into your ears, for the sons of 
 CoIumn-By-her should be delivered from the bondage of 
 the Beast. And my reward shall be to see every man ap- 
 pointed each his own work and wages. 
 
 And straightway when Car-knee came down, the multi- 
 tude passed round the Hat. 
 
 And the Newspapers said of Car-knee, He washeth not
 
 i8 
 
 himself, and the Pkopi.f. said, He will make the White 
 House do some washing 
 
 And the Newspapers said, He polisheth not his boots, 
 and the People said, He polished off the Repeaters. 
 
 And one workingman said, Is not his a gospel of Hate ? 
 
 And another workingman arose and said, Take ye a 
 ploughshare to turn the earth, or take ye a feather? 
 Which ? 
 
 And thev all said. We cannot sue the Giant Mono-polo- 
 why, with loving words and soft embrace. He must be 
 slain. 
 
 For the river of Byseness was dry. 
 
 And the merchants of the land had been goodly men, 
 flourishing like a green bay tree, but a bankrupt fell upon 
 them, and thirty days was not cash, and the people had not 
 wherewithal to buy their wares. 
 
 And the workingman had not wherewithal to pay his 
 tribute and the Sheriff sold him out. And the Savings 
 banks went up like a flower that vanisheth away, and the 
 savings of years were no more. 
 
 ^ The multitude who had not where to lay their head 
 turned Tramps, a tribe which beg alms from door to door 
 and sleep on the park benches. 
 
 And some who were not tramps did suffer hunger, for at 
 the grocer's they did read, No tick here. And it came to 
 pass that the great land of Column-By-her was divided into 
 three great tribes, and the greatest of these was the Green 
 People of Back Labor ! 
 
 And many of the wires that had been pulled by the Poli- 
 lie-Titians were snapt asunder and broken, no more to be 
 joined in that land of Column-by-her. 
 
 And the Newspapers said of the Back Labor ! All ye 
 Green People Tribe it cannot flourish.
 
 And the re-Publicans and Sinners said, We will fall upon 
 fhem and crush them. 
 
 And the De Mick-O-Rats said we will watch both 
 tribes and steal away their Rafts. 
 
 Now, the Raft was what the Back Labor ! all ye 
 green People, had built of what they could get to paddle 
 along the River of Corruption into a clearer water. 
 
 And when the iMoney-crats and Toad-stools saw the 
 multitude on the Raft, they laughed them to scorn. 
 
 And when they saw the Raft moving along the river 
 Corruption, towing the Ship of State, with all their strength 
 they laughed again. 
 
 And they said, " Let be ; we will go to Long Branch 
 and Cape May and to Brighton in our little yachts." 
 
 And the Phillistines in one voice said, "This Tribe of 
 Back Labor ! All ye green People, on that Raft, will die. 
 Thev cannot live ; they are dreamers, and tramps, and low 
 people." 
 
 And the multitude which had not yet got upon that Raft 
 said to the Wise man, " Tell us if the Back Labor ! All 
 ye Green People, will live or no ?" 
 
 And the Wise man spake unto them a parable saying. 
 A certain man baketh a loaf of bread. 
 
 And he putteth into the loaf flour, and salt, and water, 
 and yeast, that it might rise, and kneadeth it into a loaf, 
 and it is cast into the oven and cometh out bread. But if 
 it had not yeast, would it be bread ? Tell me, O, ye 
 People ? 
 
 And they answered and said, " It is even as thou sayest, 
 bread cannot be made without yeast." 
 
 And a Phillistine rose and said, " Tell me this conun- 
 drum. If the yeast is sour, will it be bread ?" And the 
 Wise man answered, " Then shall the bread rise the 
 higher, though the yeast of it be sour."
 
 20 
 
 Then said the niillistiiie, I'ell nic if the yeast be 
 bitter, will it be bread ? And the wise man answered, 
 Still I say unto you that the Bread shall rise, but better it 
 be for ye all, that the yeast be not bitter. 
 
 And one of the multitude spoke in a loud voice. And it 
 the yeast be compressed ? 
 
 And the multitude clamored in anger at him and said, 
 The yeast shall not be compressed. The bread shall be 
 good, lest we need it, we will knead it ourselves even as it 
 pleaseth our will and to our flavor. 
 
 And the Phillistines laughed and mocked at them and 
 the Wise man said, O ye of little faith. Do ye still 
 harden your hearts ? (io to Maine. 
 
 THE RAFT. 
 
 The Stone which the Builders rejected, the same has 
 become the head of the corner ; But Lure of the tribe of 
 Ben-Jam-In. 
 
 And Patrick the f'ord and Boucher the Frenchman, 
 whose food was mush, and Phillips the shoemaker, wrote 
 together, and said. The Land of Column-By-her has not 
 a moral back bone. 
 
 Now, Patrick was surnamed the Ford, for he said to the 
 Back Labor! all ye Green people, Do not dam the river 
 of Corruption, Ford it ! 
 
 And there was also in the City of Brotherly Love one 
 Lee Crand-All, who gathered lumber of which to build the 
 raft, and some was good wood and some was not well sea- 
 soned, and he did lay each plank by itself decently and in 
 order, that it might make the Raft strong and enduring. 
 
 And ye Back Labor ! all ye Green People, said of this 
 man, Lo, it is a good omen, for his name, which is Lee, is 
 from the Chinese, and being interpreted is To Wash.
 
 21 
 
 And Lee, surnamed Crand-All, will cleanly wash all 
 great things of which we have need. So said the Back 
 Labor ! ail ye Green People. 
 
 But he was not of the land of Confucius, neither did -he 
 do up a dozen for one dollar. The mantle of Horace 
 Greeley had fallen on his shoulders. 
 
 Yet he said not, Go West, young man, but spoke unto 
 them, Go anywhere, ye crowded cities ; prance away with 
 the dance of the Gander, and choose land for yourself and 
 your children from our country's broad acres, and I will 
 help you, 1 and the N. L B. at the M. H. of F. P. 
 
 Now, the timbers for the Raft were first gathered by the 
 People of the West of the Land of Column-By-her, which 
 were not Phillistines. 
 
 But the Builders were few, though the gatherers were 
 many, yet the time had not come for the Raft to be made, 
 which should tow the Ship of State out of the river of 
 Corruption into a clearer stream. 
 
 And the Phillistines mocked at the timber gathered by 
 the people of the West, and said. Go up, thou Rag Baby, go. 
 
 But the Dreamers and the Tramps and the Low People 
 and the working men said, We will bring of what we have 
 to build the Raft. 
 
 There lived in the Land of Column-By-her one Henree- 
 see, surnamed Carey, who was an honest builder on the 
 Raft, and was one of the first to put his hand to the burden. 
 
 He was an Aristocrat, and so were likewise all his kins- 
 men, but they were not Toadstools, and they despised the 
 Bluft' players with deepest scorn ; neither did they play 
 Polo and Bluff. 
 
 And they had been faithful for many generations, and 
 they were honored in their country by the faithful, and 
 they were sitters in high places in the land of Bullion. 
 
 And his kinsman was Henreesee, surnamed the By-heard,
 
 22 
 
 because he stood by the People and wrote epistles to them 
 and spent his talents for their increase, and the people of 
 the land of Bullion said of this man, He is a good and faith- 
 ful servant. 
 
 And in the Region of Jersey lived one Stephen — sur- 
 named Why-Delay ? Because he said, O ye People, 
 which can read, why do ye not count the cost ? 
 
 Know ye not that ye are poor laborers who pay the 
 tribute to swell the rich man's substance? Know ye not 
 that the Banks are free from tax, while ye must pay 
 tribute. 
 
 And he spoke in a loud voice, in divers places, that the 
 Peoplk should break the chains of the Bondholder, and 
 while he spake he worked upon the Rak. 
 
 And they worked together, the People, them that were 
 not Phillistines, and the re-Publicans sinners and the De- 
 Mick-O-Rats quarreled among themselves. 
 
 And the Moneycrats-Toadstools got on a coach and 
 played Polo and were merry. James the Second, of the 
 Hearall Newspaper, and the Unjust Judge did run at full 
 speed for a SijSOO silver cup. 
 
 Now, James, of the Hearall, played on the Polo, be- 
 cause he hated the game of Ball for he had lost a Ball in 
 the land that lieth to the North of Column-Byher. 
 
 The same land which payeth Tribute unto the land 
 of Bullion, and no Scribe on the Hearall durst say Duffer- 
 In-Ball ! to James the Second, lest he should Bounce 'em 
 and Shakem up. 
 
 And the mulitude looked on the Back Labor ! all ye 
 Green People while they builded the Raft, and some did 
 carry them wood and water, and aided them when they 
 were weary. 
 
 And the sound of the hammer on the heads ot the nails
 
 was heard on the shores of the River of Corruption while 
 the Raft was being builded. 
 
 And the Scribes and the Newspapers asked what are ye 
 doing and what do ye want ? 
 
 And they answered and said, We are building a Raft on 
 which honest men may work, and take Our Ship of State 
 out of the River of Corruption into clear waters. 
 
 And the Wise man on the Raft spake to the Phillistines, 
 Hear ye re-Publicans-sinners, ye De-MickO-Rats, 
 Moneycrats-Toadstools, Hear my words, and ponder them 
 well. 
 
 The Back Labor ! all ye Green People's Raft is freighted 
 with Truth, Justice and Humanity. 
 
 Our Raft carrieth tools, which shall make the Pursuit 
 of Happiness possible for the People. 
 
 The tools]shall confound the National Bank System 
 and destroy their illegal Tribute, and our Greenbacks shall 
 be Legal Tender. 
 
 Our Greenbacks shall not flood the country, neither in- 
 flate prices, but shall take the Manufacturer and the Mer- 
 chant and the Working man out of the hands of the Money 
 Changers. 
 
 Our tools shall make Just business a healthy thing, and 
 shall confound evil usurers and their Interests, and our Raft 
 shall make it of greater profit to put money into Enterprise 
 than lock it in a strong-box as doth John Shirr-Money. 
 
 Our raft shall tow the Ship of State into the waters 
 of Industry, trade and well paid labor, and on its course the 
 sharks of the river of Corruption shall be taken up in nets 
 and the Poll-lie-Titians shall make their own destruction. 
 
 295605
 
 24 
 
 THE SAYINGS OF NATHAN THE WISE. 
 
 Lo, that which decayeth is made ready to vanish away. 
 
 And the Law should be a surety of just things to come. 
 
 Put not your confidence in Rotten Reeds, O ye People. 
 
 For the Law holds not the Land for the few, but for the 
 many. 
 
 And the Just shall stand together, and shall put away the 
 Bribers and the Corrupt. 
 
 And now remaineth three immutable things, Life, Labor 
 and Hope. For to Labor ye shall add Hope, and the 
 Green, back of Labor, is Hope,
 
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