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POETICAL DESCRIPTIONS 
 OF ORKNEY. 
 
 M.DC.LII. 
 
]o d^r^j^ f/^'s^yM^ *^ y&sr, 
 
 \^From a Volume of Miscellaneous MS. Poems in the 
 Library of the Faculty of Advocates, marked Jac. 5. 7- 26. 
 .small Mo.'] 
 
 
 ,,.... Tf^lc^-^^^ ^/ 2r«^^7^ 
 
A//4//V 
 
 THE CHARACTER OF ORKNEY. 
 
 Take winges, my fancy, where I mull nott come, 
 
 Thou mayll bee read (I meane in Chriftendome), 
 
 Fly thither, tell the great difputers there, 
 
 That would from realbn finde, whatt heaven, and where 
 
 The Devill dwells ; I could (were 1 from hence) 
 
 Informe their dialeftique ignorance. 
 
 Soe vndivide their Con and Pro, that none 
 
 Should euer lieare them more att Pro and Con ; 
 
 Stay, Reader, thou mayft meete with fomething lieere 
 
 That may offend thy llomach or thine eare. 
 
 The fubjed's loathfome, nor doe I intend 
 
 To ferv't in otherwife : I fliall nott fend 
 
 A nell of vncleane Birds and flinking fifli 
 
 With a cleane napkin in a lilver difli. 
 
 Whateuer comes mull haue itt's proper name ; 
 
 Refill then, or refolue to indure the fame. 
 
 Yet know the Authour can bee civill, and 
 
 Vfe on another theame, another hand ; 
 
 8007,58 
 
IV 
 
 ilis triociefl right hand l)liiflies heere to fee 
 His left hand left to foe much miferie. 
 
 Divine Pomona, what nefarious art 
 Prevail'd vppon thee that thou wouldft impart 
 A name like thine to fucli an heape as this 
 Of futty, black, and frightfull prodigies. 
 An Ifle the fea in, an Egyptian Hagge 
 Labouring and midwiv'd by the Zodiack Dog. 
 Brought forth, that att the dreadfull day of Doome 
 Time then might fpend her fulphurous Turfe and Broome, 
 To kindle that laft great and fatall flame, 
 By which the world muft loofe its forme and name. 
 
 Wer't not profane, I could imagine that 
 This is the very fame Satanique platt 
 Of Earth, that funke when Corah and his crew 
 Of Rebells bid the vpper world adieu. 
 And is returned to doe the office ftill 
 Of Purveyors, to fetch in food for Hell, 
 For which good end nott one tree but the Gallowes 
 Growes heere, and inllead of hempe fome fallowes. 
 When the great Fiend by whome the flanielings heere, 
 (That walke like Skelletons and Times) doe fweare 
 Had builded Norway from his vgly hodde. 
 Fell (as he flew for Scotland) that great clodde, 
 
V 
 
 Wliicli into feverall parcells dropt, became 
 Vnchrillen'd I lies, borrowino- their generall name 
 From fnioaky Orcus. Did Dame Natm-e euer 
 Vnmafke lierlblf, create a cliaos ? neuer, 
 Nor can there euer fuch a produ^ bee 
 Found out in Bacon's Natural 1 Hiftorie. 
 Henceforth blew Orknay, bee thy ]:)oyrnous name 
 Abhor' d, may none but witches vie the fame. 
 To every Hagge, that fpeakes itt, lett itt bee 
 A marke vppon her of Difcouery. 
 Hee that the naufeous name of Orknay heares 
 And fpews not, forrow faw his ill bred eares. 
 
 And dull Pomonia though a GoddelTe bee 
 Thy namefake, 'tis without Divinity ; 
 Bee thou a charme (good vfes made of evill 
 LelTen the crime, while witches ride the Devi 11). 
 Cure then the toothache, ferve to fright away 
 An ague, bee a powerfull fpell to lay 
 Afleepe, that never lying, lying longe, 
 Sharpe two-edged fword, an angry woman's tongue. 
 Butt what's thy GoddelTe or her name to mee, 
 Thy nature (if in nature there can bee 
 A contradiftion) cancells all the debt 
 Wee ownc thy name and leave thee naked yet. 
 Oh that I had the Jewifli Golgotha 
 (Though I gaue Boote) for this Pomonia. 
 
VI 
 
 Thy Devill pofleft black fwinc, (which reprelent 
 
 Thy Preifts, as they the Raven and tlie Cormorant) 
 
 EfcajD'd from Gaderene ; thy eagles are 
 
 (And vnman'd Ilawkes) like thy flout men of warre, 
 
 Feeders and flyers, and as fmaller birds 
 
 Are feized, foe are your tenants by their lairds : 
 
 Your nevv-fledg'd Keftrell that vill foon indure 
 
 A man, and quickly ftoope to th' offer'd lure, 
 
 Refleds your virgin, butt of this noe more ; 
 
 Thefe mafter flieetes indulge noe Orknay whore ; 
 
 Your Catts (but that they wafli their faces, and 
 
 Are Ibmetliing cleanly theives) might aptly Hand 
 
 For married women, both goe barefoot, fteales, 
 
 Both looke like witches, both playe with their tayles. 
 
 Both fliitt i' th' afli heape, weares longe pounces, both 
 
 Will fcratch one's eyes out, ill betide them both. 
 
 Butt now keepe fourty foote from off the flake. 
 
 Good people, I am going heere to make 
 
 An Orknay wife to th' life, which is a feate 
 
 That nature can't, butt fancy may compleate : 
 
 And thus a perry werry griffes fnout, 
 
 A Cod's great head wTapt in a dirty clout. 
 
 An Owle's faire eyes, Baboone's fweete face. Hound's eares, 
 
 Back of an able Mare (a jade that beares 
 
 Her burden well) the belly of a fow 
 
 And flomach too, paps of a brindled cow. 
 
Vll 
 
 Belicmoth's legges, Bare's fecte, an Ape's arle, and 
 
 A ftinkino- fhoulclcr of mutton for each hand : 
 
 Thele put together are the very lame 
 
 Letters that fpell my Landladyes right name. 
 
 Contemplate the Idea of this piece, 
 
 Reader, and judge of our felicities. 
 
 If thou wouldft know what fucli beads made appeare. 
 
 Behold them in the Shephard's Calendar : 
 
 Find Belzebub, and every deadly fin, 
 
 Thou'lt found my Landlady and all her kin. 
 
 Butt he that would a good hiflorian bee 
 Efleem'd and prais'd for full Geography, 
 Muft fliew the length, the breadth, the fituation, 
 The Lawes, Religion, Manners of a Nation ; 
 The Schooles of Literature, the Goverment, 
 The woodes, the parkes, the famous rivers in 't. 
 The cities, caftles, fforefls, chafes, and 
 The gardens, orchards, fruit trees of the land : 
 Even Ibe fliall I, her longitudes the firfb 
 In order, butt in being not the worft 
 For Chriflendome, becaufe itt lies from thence 
 Beyond the line of all intelligence. 
 Her latitude is tenn times tenn degrees, 
 All winter longe in dirt aboue the knees ; 
 Abroad, and in the houfes, thinges we'll call 
 In England fwine ftyes, kennels, kills, you (hall 
 
VI 11 
 
 Fintle twenty fathom leffe : A man may venture 
 In ricling-bootes and well pull'd vppe, to enter, 
 Their very Dayries, which being now my theame, 
 Sitt downe and fupp a whin foure milke and ream. 
 While I dilcourfe itt. Haue you ever been 
 Downe in a Tanner's yard, and have you feene 
 His lime-pits when the filthy muck and haire 
 Of twenty hides is waflit and fcrapt off there, 
 'Tis Orknay milke, in colour, thicknelTe, fmell. 
 Every ingredient, and itt eates as well ; 
 Take from the bottome vppe an handfull on't. 
 And that's good Orknay butter, fie upon't. 
 This greafe, (for foe they truly call itt) pleafes 
 The eye, the taft, the fmelling as difeafes 
 Delight the bride-bed, but to make itt come, 
 They don't like her that loft itt on her bum, 
 Churne naked, that's a fluttifli trick, fliould they 
 Doe foe, the frighted creame would melt away 
 From the liotte bugge-beare, and to bleffe the churne 
 The milke would into Holywater turne. 
 They vfe a charme, tho, with three heated ftones 
 Nine Ave Maryes, and feaven ill far't groan es, 
 (Such as vppone the ftoole of Penitents, 
 Or in the houfe of office finners vents) 
 To fetch their nafty butter vppe, which, when 
 They've done, the witches conjur'd downe againe. 
 
IX 
 
 Through their owne whems. Their punilliment in this 
 
 Is well proportion'd to their wickedneire. 
 
 Then of the atbrelaid butter take and Iqueel'e 
 
 A ])arcell 'twixt two rotten boards, that's eheefe. 
 
 Judge then, my freinds, how much our lime pits vary 
 
 In Imell, tafte, colour, from an Orknay Dary. 
 
 Butt to our general ftory, how this Ifle 
 
 Is Icituated, and how many mile 
 
 'Tis broad and longe : the fcituation's nott 
 
 Vnlike a turd in a full chamberpott ; 
 
 And as by that, foe you by this may tell, 
 
 (Though you were blinde) when you are in't by th' fniell. 
 
 Ftt lies north-eall of Scotland, and beyond 
 
 Orknay, is Oberon's and Mab's black land : 
 
 Religion (for there's nott a place belowe 
 
 The Moone, butt makes of that att leaft a Ihowe) 
 
 Is two fold heere : Wee Englifh call the one 
 
 Witchcraft, the other Superftition. 
 
 A childbed wife (if 't may bee call'd a bed 
 Where fuch a nafty beaft is kennelled) 
 Borrow'd a fouldier's rufty fword to lay 
 Betwixt her pladdes to fright the fiend away. 
 And was not hee a tender hearted foole, 
 That would (to plealure her) defile his toole. 
 
X 
 
 They're overrul'd by three ellatcs, and each a limbe 
 Of the grand body Orhin, Zim, and Jim.* 
 
 Their fchooles of learning are in euery houfe, 
 And their firft leffon is to hunt the loule. 
 Att two yeares old a wee ill favoured bratt 
 Will make a good proficient att that. 
 The next (when itt can fpeake) is how to name 
 The muckle Deele and make his anagram, 
 Then to fweare by him without lifping, in 
 A bonny tearing, full mouth'd oath 's noe fin ; 
 Curfing and banning without blufliing then 
 Makes his glad Father hope hee'le proue a man. 
 Lvino- is not an art heere ever tauoht, 
 Butt into the world (as their tongues are) brought. 
 A Parfon's bairne reprov'd for banning, fwore 
 His mother ly'd, and fcap't vppon that fcore. 
 Their tongues thus read, the proverbe then (help liands) 
 Is laid before him, which hee vnderftands, 
 Soe genuinely that forthwith forth hee's gone 
 To fliift and reckons all hee fees his owne ; 
 Yett he j^retends hee travalles butt to feeke 
 His meate, for M'hich hee beggs in heathen Greeke, 
 
 * Orhin is likely to be Hebrew, from 1N% and to denote spirits of fire. Zi/)i, pro- 
 bably spirits of the earth ; and Jim spirits of the Mater, also from the Hebrew. 
 
XI 
 
 For Latine (from the greateft to the leaft 
 
 They argue) is the hiiigiiage of the beall : 
 
 True, if tliey Ipake itt every one might know 
 
 A little lodck would conclude itt foe. 
 
 Suppole him now fifteene, 'tis in his minde, 
 
 (Like other beafts) to propagate his kinde ; 
 
 Soe I'.ee engenders with fome proude growne queene. 
 
 Whom afterward, the old bawde, (tlie kirke) makes cleane 
 
 For further vfe ; The penitentiall ftoole 
 
 Pardons the Damms, and Damnes the ballard foole, 
 
 That knowes noe fin ; yett itt muft neuer come 
 
 In lieauen (poore thing^ for want of Chriflendome. 
 
 (By what flrange marke that nameles babe's enrol'd 
 
 In Doomefdayes Booke, I would be gladly told) 
 
 Noe Bil)le bleffing- toucheth them foe nigh. 
 
 Nor is foe much their owne, as multiply. 
 
 Their citties, forrefts, chafes, parkes are found, 
 (If they haue any) vnderneath the ground. 
 Their caftles (that are builded high and faire. 
 Butt out of iight) are feated in the ayre. 
 Their orchards and their gardens lie together, 
 If you would view them, walke you know nott whither : 
 Then on the right or left hand you will fee 
 A pregnant, tall, hermaphroditique tree 
 Incorporated free for witch or whore, 
 Or theif to vfe, 'twill make the tafter fore 
 
Xll 
 
 About the tliroate, and fuffocate the breath, 
 (Some Madcaps call'd the Tree of Life and Death). 
 
 Their cuflomes now, where I would end, begin, 
 (Butt to haue manners is an vncoutli fin.) 
 Thcyr horfe goe barefoot from the time thayre foal'd 
 Till dog dayes come, and when they're dead their cold 
 Their mares (that by a lewd miftaking, none 
 Should ride his neighbour's beaft inllead on's owne). 
 Are never vs'd, butt gett their meate and feeding, 
 (As doe their women) onely for their breeding. 
 
 Wee haue butt little iron heere, or none, 
 But they can make a lock and key of bone 
 Will ferue to keepe the flefli ith' Amery, till 
 Itt creepes out, or informes us by the fmell ; 
 'Tis eatable then, when norr rat nor moufe, 
 Nor dog nor cat will touch't, itt ferves the lioule, 
 The prouerbes fay noe carrion kills a crow. 
 That Heauen fends meat, the Devill cookes ; 'tis foe. 
 Would you behold a true reprefentation 
 Of the world's method e're it had creation, 
 Looke then into an Orknay Ambry, lee 
 How all the elements confounded bee 
 In tliat rude chaos, lieere a meffe of creame 
 Thatt's fpilt with calling ilioes in't, makes a ftreame 
 
Xlll 
 
 Of fairc meanders winding in and out, 
 
 Bearing before itt every fliitten clout 
 
 The nurle has throwne there ; are they nott to blame 
 
 That fay wee never lieere get clouted creame ? 
 
 There, att another end, runs a whole fea 
 
 Of keale, and in't a flocking caft away, 
 
 Heere broken egges (itt is noe matter whether 
 
 Rotten or found, or both) haue glew'd together 
 
 The bread and candles, and haue made oth' fudden, 
 
 (By falling in amongft the meale) a pudding, 
 
 And in this deluge itt would make one fwound 
 
 To fee how many creatures there lie drown'd. 
 
 As fleas and lice, and ratts and mice, and worms 
 
 Of all forts, colours, ages, fexes, formes. 
 
 Then in another corner you fliall fee, 
 
 (If you were quarter'd in the houfe with mee), 
 
 A cogue of fowings laid along, half gott 
 
 Out of th' Ambry into th' Chamberpott, 
 
 To meete the milke that's running towards itt 
 
 From a crackt bowle, wherein the Goodwife Ihitt 
 
 Butt yefterday, and into that there drops 
 
 A Bannock whileft the wee one greetes for th' fopps. 
 
 Looke well about you yett, and you fhall finde 
 
 A lumpe of Butter that hath layne behinde 
 
 The otiier trafli this montli, in which (a rope 
 
 Take itt) is mixt, and Ipoyl'd my pound of foape. 
 
XIV 
 
 There's pottelok too in another cuppe, 
 
 (That was ordain'd perchance for nice to liippe), 
 
 Butt into that (oh how my Mufe is loath 
 
 To handle this) is f'alne a menftruous cloth : 
 
 Fye, how 1 blulh ; Good Reader, gueffe by this 
 
 What an a thing an Orknay Ambry is. 
 
 Imagine that the lublunary Avorld 
 
 Was into fuch a pure confufion hurl'd 
 
 By a grand Earthquake, that the well tun'd frame 
 
 Of nature was in difcord by the fame, 
 
 Soe much that they who tliinke they vnderftand 
 
 Scripture, would teach that Doomefday is at hand. 
 
 Such is their ambry ; when the one you fee 
 
 You haue the other in epitome : 
 
 Butt with this difference, when the one is out 
 
 Of order, tli' other mult bee in, noe doubt. 
 
 The Butcher's knife heere fliortens nott the dayes 
 
 Of any creature, butt moft fweetly Hayes 
 
 Till the calues time bee come, nay, when 'tis dead 
 
 Hee letts itt hange e're itt be bowelled 
 
 Three dayes, to fee (patiently waiting on) 
 
 If beafts haue any Refurre6tion ! 
 
 That they themfelves might in fome meafure know 
 
 Therby, if they fliall rife again or noe. 
 
 Yet ftill he Hayes, thinking there is noe way 
 
 To make fure worke like wayting th' other day. 
 
XV 
 
 Leaft the cold carrien bee butt in a trance, 
 And iliould be murtber'd by bis ignorance: 
 This in a rope is hang'd, made of Twine's furre, 
 Which weell Iwinge off, 'tis very true, ne're ftirre. 
 Their wooll, which w^ee Ihould take the paines to Iheare 
 From the flieepes backs, they pull away and teare 
 A^ppe by the rootes, and foe they doe their corne, 
 Whate're they Ibwe (poore thinges) there's nothing lliorne. 
 
 If, when you fee an heard of beafts, you cry 
 How many is there, all the cattell die : 
 Count butt a hen and chickens, not a chick 
 Is found, within a few dayes after, quick: 
 You may as well reviue one from the graue. 
 As force them tell how many geefe they haue : 
 Afke one vppon his journey where hee's going. 
 His errand's loll, although hee w^ent a wooing. 
 Their ftaple trade is fifliing, twa by twa 
 They row, and when they haue had a catching day 
 Their fpoyl's divided into portions three, 
 The boate takes one, the reft takes fee and fee ; 
 Should they negle6t to giue the boate her Ihare, 
 The next daye's fifliing would nott be foe fayre ; 
 And if, while they are vndivided, firft 
 A Preift butt fees them, all the fifli are curlt : 
 
XVI 
 
 This they believe, then, Reader, well may you 
 Creditt the Authour, that thefe thinges are true. 
 
 When they would haue an hafty fire, they take 
 Their coates vppe (and in this they once did make 
 A foole of mee, I thought they meant to turne 
 Their bums to tli' fire, and blow't and make it burne). 
 Butt with their heav'd vppe coates they make a winde, 
 Which the vnnaturall Beafls take in behinde, 
 Which makes both fire and afhes fly, whilefl that 
 Boyles the black meate, and this doth thick the pott. 
 Their handes are ladles, and the tonges take out 
 The flefli, and ferue to flirre the broth about ; 
 Thofe hands that were nott waflit fince that they fpread 
 Muck, when the Barley feild was manured. 
 Butt the tongs from the pott returne againe 
 Into the afliheape, waflit indifferent cleane. 
 
 They fteepe their Barley to make malt on, in 
 A lough or lake, and when 'tis wett to th' fkin, 
 (That is to fay as wett as muck) they take itt. 
 And as an Englifliman makes muck they make itt. 
 My fweete fpruce Landlady th' other day 
 Did call her maydens dirty fluts (they fay) 
 Becaufe they were a putting in the creame 
 To th' churne before the dogge had lickt the fame. 
 
XVll 
 
 Butt heere's enough of this, you may conclude 
 With mee, the people here are fomething rude ; 
 111 bred, (except in breeding lice) ill made, 
 And nott too cleanly : butt, itt might bee faid, 
 Had wee nott conquer'd Orknay, Cromwell's ftory 
 Had cleart noe more of honour in't, and glory 
 Then Csefar's ; butt with this conqueft fell 
 Vender his fword, The forlorne hope of Hell. 
 
 The Monfters of the foaming feas that knocks 
 Th' incorrigible llony hearted rockes 
 I publifh nott, nor what the wonders are, 
 The hideous ftones haue, I mull nott declare : 
 The Rock's my miftrefs and the fea's my freind ; 
 The one will weepe fait teares with mee, and lend 
 A hurrycane where (by the fea's confent, 
 Stoj)ping her tide's impetuous complement) 
 I make fome verfes, I will nott difco.uer 
 Therefore the fecretts of foe lirme a louer ; 
 The other is too deepe, I goe beyond 
 Myfelf if I outreach the depth of Pond. 
 
 From my Caue called the Otter's Hole, 
 in the third month of my banifment 
 from Chriftendome, September 9, 
 1652. 
 
ORCADIUM EFFIGIES, 
 
 OR, 
 
 THE ISLES OF ORKNAY DELINEATED IN THEIR MOST 
 ESPECIAL OUTSIDE; 
 
 BEING MORE PARTICULABLIE 
 
 THE PICTURE OF POMONIA (VULGARLY CALLED THE 
 MAINLAND) ONE OF THE SAID ISLANDS. 
 
 Ill might Damaetas, in his ruftick paliion, 
 
 Haue curft all lilands for their Ibituatioii, 
 
 Had but his Clownefliippe foe well travell'd bin. 
 
 Our Orknay's fcite and luflre to haue feene, 
 
 With which compar'd the moft renown'd We 
 
 In his Arcadia fcarce could bee the foyle ; 
 
 T' illuftrate our's in painting forth whofe prayfe, 
 
 Which of the facred Mufes fhall I raife ? 
 
 Or what propitious Diety invoake 
 
 To guide my penfill with foe deare a ftroke. 
 
 That (every part compar'd) in filent ftrife, 
 
 The well drawne peece may quarrell with the life, 
 
 But who fo doubts wherin they may agree, 
 
 ('Tis worth his trauell) lett him come and fee; 
 
XIX 
 
 Whither to guide the way our Mappes define 
 
 Orkiiayes pofition juft in ffiftie-nine 
 
 Deo-ree north latitude, the Pinthland ffyrth 
 
 Parting it fouthward from the Scottifli Earth, 
 
 On all fides elfe the ocean doth enclole 
 
 Our happy Ifles which round about them flowes, 
 
 And (for variety or order fake) 
 
 Tliirty-two Ifles (Ibme great fome leffe) doth make. 
 
 'Mongft which, like Luna (with the lefl'er lights 
 
 About her) fliines the center of delights. 
 
 Our rare Pomonia (which the natives flile 
 
 The ^lainland) and itt is the Mother Ifle, 
 
 With whome (for worth) her children may compare, 
 
 Bearing (in all but greatnefle) equall fhare, 
 
 But her (as centring all the refl) I chufe 
 
 To bee the prefent fubjeft of my Mufe. 
 
 And fince thy name, Pomonia, feemes to fliite 
 The great Pomona (PatronefTe of Fruite) 
 Lett itt nott feeme impertinent to tell 
 Wlier in thy nature doth thy name excell ; 
 Then know, Deare Reader, heere is feldome f'eene 
 A wood, a copfe, a tree that is nott greene 
 Att every feafon of the flitting yeare. 
 Nay (which is more admir'd) there is nott heere 
 An orchard (fcarce) wherin you may nott fee 
 Ripe fruites, half ripe, and blofToms on one tree, 
 
XX 
 
 Nor neede wee walls to hemme our orchards in. 
 Robbing of thofe is lieere a veniall fin, 
 The common hedges that inclofe our ground, 
 With choiceft fniites of various forts, abound ; 
 Nor can you finde a thickett, groue or fpringe, 
 Wherin the winged quire forbeare to finge 
 Their chanting fonnett, morning, night, or noone, 
 Stay neere foe late, or come yee neere foe foone. 
 To fpeake of trees for vfe (as building Ihippes 
 And houfes) that my fancy over flippes. 
 As nott fo pertinent, lince fuch abound 
 In every wood and grove the Ifland round ; 
 But to returne to thofe I nam'd before. 
 And tell the kindes, the vertue, and what flore 
 Of fruite the meaneft cotyard heere may gather, 
 I feare you'd fcarce beleeue, but wonder rather; 
 And hence I might indeavour to confute, 
 (But that noe tree beares heere forbidden fruite) 
 Their grand miftake who do averre that ground. 
 Where Eden ftood, is noe where to bee found : 
 Yet in refemblance therof, now one tree, 
 (Then all the reft more lofty) you may fee 
 Whofe fruite is deadly, and (to freind or ftranger) 
 To clim't (though with a ladder's) mickle danger ; 
 For (by what fpell I know not) few e're thriue. 
 That venture vppe, if they come downe aliue. 
 
XXI 
 
 But whether this in all thinges paralell, 
 
 That Tree wherby our Grand Sire Adam fell, 
 
 1 dare nott fay ; howeuer, lett itt bee 
 
 To euery wife man a forbidden tree ; 
 
 And lince itt is allowed lieere to ftand 
 
 Among the other fruite trees of the Land, 
 
 For fome Hate Policie to vs nott knowne, 
 
 Lett nott itt's fatall black reflection 
 
 Obumbrate or diftraine the wortli of thofe 
 
 More wholefome plants that in our Ifland growes. 
 
 To fpeake of Gardens where (with artleflTe art 
 Dame Nature a6ls her unafTifted part) 
 Would be like throwing Hones againft the winde, 
 Or vainly lighting tapers to the Blinde. 
 A thoufand fuch bee that hath fearce one eye, 
 (Was bee but heere) might ken as well as I, 
 For each inclofed Meadowe feems a Plott 
 Fram'd by Queene Flora for a garden fpott. 
 
 Of how great worth their verdant paftures are, 
 Their numerous heards of cattell will declare ; 
 Soe doe their fleecy flocks where th' uberous Dams 
 Salute each yeare their mailers with twin lambs. 
 Hee that can number vppe his wealth is poore, 
 Hee's only rich that cannott count his ftore ; 
 
XXll 
 
 (Soe fpeakes the prouerbe) wliicli, if true, beliokl 
 How rich are tliey whole goods are neuer tokl. 
 For the meaiiell peafants that iiihabites heere, 
 Scarce counts his cowes or fheepe in feauen yeere. 
 Oft haue I afk't, but neere yet mett witli any 
 That would informe my ignorance how many 
 Horfes or fheepe or cowes their hind maintaines, 
 Nor will they be engag'd by any meanes, 
 (Or faire or foule) their numerous flockes to count, 
 To fuch an infinitum they amount. 
 
 Their corne, which others reape with leflTer trouble. 
 They pluck vppe by the rootes, to laue the flubble, 
 (Of foe great worth the very rootes are found, 
 Which fuck the juice of fweet Pomonia's ground.) 
 
 To write of Birds (betides the fylvan quire 
 I nam'd before) heere's what you can defire 
 For vfe or pleafure, whofe peculiar rate 
 And name, my Mufe wants limitts to relate. 
 Th' imperiall Eagle heere accounts itt befb 
 To ftay, and heere ereSts his regall neft. 
 The princely Hawke (by feueral titles read,) 
 As Falcon, TafTell, Marling, heere is bred ; 
 And heere (with little paines) you may difcouer 
 Both Duck and Mallard, Moorfpoole, Curliew, Plouer. 
 
XXlll 
 
 Wild Pio-eon, Tealc, Avith manv Landfoule more, 
 Belkles frefli water game, and lea foule Itore, 
 W'liicli with the tamer foules that bide more neere 
 Our yards, and haunt our kitchen's hemilphere. 
 Makes us compleate in foule. The next our Filli, 
 Wherof you cannott faile to finde a dilh ; 
 In euery houle, through all the I Hands round. 
 Such (tore, and of foe many forts arc found 
 In euery gliding ftreame and lough throughout 
 The inland parts, and all the coaft about. 
 Which, diih't and dignified with Orknay butter. 
 Will pleafe your tall, beyond your tongue to vtter, 
 
 To thefe what Handing monuments advance 
 Pomonia's praife (att which I can but glance, 
 And leaue the reft a theame for after liners. 
 As ftately Churches, Caftles, Bridges, Riuers, 
 Require a tra6t farre more voluminous 
 Then this, their excellencies to difcufle. 
 Which I forbeare, only I muft confeflTe, 
 Neare to a ftately Hall call'd Tankerneffe 
 I'ue feene a Church (and hopeleffe had 1 beene 
 To view the like, if this I had nott feene. 
 Th' immenfe circumference of whofe foundation 
 And confentaneous parts in fituation 
 Requires a more exa6t furveyor's (kill 
 Then his, who claimes the guidance of this quill 
 
XXIV 
 
 To parcell't out : Nor liaue I mett with any 
 
 Arithematician that could tell how many 
 
 Rich pollifli't marble pillars doe fupport 
 
 That ftately ftrufture ; (by a true report 
 
 The windowes too, as numerous as large 
 
 And grait in workmanfliipp, with equal charge) 
 
 I ouer pafle, and foe I doe the Bells, 
 
 And Steeple too, their murmuring mufick tells 
 
 The fweetefl tale, and larger praifes finge 
 
 Then any pen can publifli (when they ringe.) 
 
 But that which moll renownes this lacred peice, 
 
 And crownes itt's lufter is the golden ffleece 
 
 Wherewith 'tis couer'd, whofe tranfparent fhine 
 
 Is more refulgent then I can define, 
 
 Through which bright Titan darts his radiant light, 
 
 By day, as doth the moone and ftarres by night. 
 
 But now, my fellow Gamefters, grant mee oddes, 
 (I meane yee hardly humane Demy-Gods 
 And Goddeffes who fpend your happy dayes 
 In this Elizeum) whileft I linge your prayfe, 
 I dare nott fearcli th' Exordium of your race. 
 Nor fee what Heroes peopl'd firft the place : 
 But feme commentors fay thefe Illands Hood 
 Aboue the Deluge in Deucalion's flood ; 
 Others deriue their royal Pedigree 
 From mighty Jove, Neptune, and Mercury, 
 
XXV 
 
 When they in a Triurinal conjundion, 
 Exhibitmg their genetorious vnftion, 
 Be"ott wile Orciis on great Oriens' Mother, 
 Such were his Parents, and foe great his Brother, 
 AVhofe fubterraneall offefpringe are the breede 
 Rcfuling heere, whofe dignities declare 
 Of 1 low profound originals they are. 
 
 The ineanell farmer, when abroad he rides, 
 Hath choice of geldings, which, when hee beftrides. 
 His perfonall garbe, and broyder'd foote clothes rate 
 Speakes him fome judge or Citty Magiftrate 
 At leaft, whileft att his ftirropp alfoe waites 
 His nimble Lackey to fett ope the gates, 
 And hold his horfe, when hee is pleaf 'd t' alight 
 To doe his bufinelTe, either day or night. 
 Their horfe are feldome ftiod with leffe than gold, 
 (A feeming vanitie,) yet times of old 
 Ordayning foe, itt Hands a cuftome Hill 
 For all fucceeding ages to fulfill : 
 For cuftomes heere are in more reverence had, 
 Then ^\Titten Lawes (let them be good or bad.) 
 If any hap to finde a horfefhoe heere, 
 Hee getts enough to ferve him feaven yeare 
 For fpending coyne, nor is the loofer's purfe 
 The ligliter, or himfelf a penny worfe. 
 
 D 
 
XXVI 
 
 By this you read in part their wealthy ftate : 
 Tlieir virtues let fome quicker fig] it relate, 
 Whileft I condud you hoodwink't on by night, 
 To view a pcarle whofe more refulgent light 
 DarkneflTe demonftrates belt ; bee not afraid 
 How e're, 'tis ])ut an Orknay wife or maide. 
 Yet keepe your double diftance and bee wile ; 
 Too ftri6l an afpe6t may dillurbe your eyes : 
 For, (like the faire Medula and her lifters) 
 Her varnilli't outlide foe divinely glifters, 
 That by one lingle interview alone 
 You may bee metamorphof 'd to a ftone. 
 Thus (att allowed diftanees) having leene 
 The beauty of this all amazing Queene, 
 Take of her virtuous worth this farther taft, 
 That fhee, like MelTalina's alone chaft, 
 Conftant as Hellen, and in Charity 
 (To fpeake noe more) exceeding all degree : 
 For fcarce a woman marries lieere till firft 
 Shee haue one harmles orphant infant nurll, 
 Or more, by which good office to another, 
 She learnes lierfelfe to bee a laM'full mother. 
 
 Further lliould I proceede to bid you looke 
 Through all the roomes and rifle every nooke, 
 To finde what coftlie heapes of Houfehold geare 
 Our thrifty Matrons haue difpofed there. 
 
XXVll 
 
 Or liow each cliamber lents with ricli perfume, 
 Your patience woukl be weary (I preliime) 
 Only as you goe through tlie kitclieii back 
 See how the diflies with eiiamell'd black 
 See rarely glifter, that they well might goe, 
 Att the firft view, for gold or filver, (though 
 They bee indeed but peuter) whofe faire glance 
 Miglit quickly foe beguile your ignorance. 
 View next the dairy velTels, richly lin'd 
 With llible furre, fomewhat to white inclin'd : 
 And (for a farwell) if you pleafe falute 
 Our Orknay dayry maide, whileft I fland mute. 
 
 Thus ends Pomonia's praife, which well might vie 
 Witli all the world, was Scotland nott Ibe nisfh. 
 
 POSTSCRIPT TO THE READER VPPON THE POEM 
 OF POMONIA. 
 
 I couett nott to bee a foole in print. 
 In this mad garb, yet there is fomething in't 
 Refembling that, whileft to embezzle time 
 (Rather than keepe itt) I am foe in rime : 
 Excufe mee, tliough 'twas only to beguile 
 Some weary houres I dwcl't vppon this Ille 
 
XXVlll 
 
 In that iroiiiqiie ftraine : and mucli I cair nott 
 Who are well pleafd, nor very much who are nott, 
 For till my larger wealth command mee thence, 
 My Labour is my Travells Recompence. 
 
 And foe good day, Deare Reader (for noe night 
 Afflids our Soumer Solftice), lieere all 's light. 
 
 Orknay, October 20, 1652. 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 [In the volume from wliicli the preceding poems have been extracted, 
 there- occurs, written in the same hand, the following verses, which, as 
 throwing some light upon the probable authorship of the Descriptions of 
 Orknayj may be considered worthy of preservation. Indeed it may, 
 talcing every thing together, be fairly inferred that "J. Emerson," Avho 
 interpreted the Highland Diurnal, was the coarse but clever libeller of 
 " the Divine Pomonia."] 
 
 The 19tli ofAprill 1(353, 
 1 liave received this day the Highlander's Diurnall, which 
 1 leave to better judgement then mine owne to interprett 
 the fame. 
 
 Te coven welt, tat gramagli Teng, 
 
 Gar brak hem's word, gar de hem's King, 
 
 Gar pay hem's lelTe, or take hem's clafe, 
 
 Ve'l no de cat, dil comer de leers. 
 
 V^e'l bid a file amang te crowes, 
 
 Ve'l fcor te fwurd, and wifke te bowes. 
 
 And feir her nen fel fe te re 
 
 Te del may car fu Gramahee. 
 
XXX 
 
 Inter])reto(I by me, J. Emerson. 
 
 The Commonwealth, that filthy thinge, 
 Makes breake his worde, makes die his Kinge, 
 Makes pay his feffe, or take his clothes, 
 Wee'le nott doe that, dee'le take the liers, 
 We'l bide awhile among tlie crowes, 
 We' I fcour the fword and bend our bowes, 
 And fend our owne felfe for the Kinge, 
 Tlie De'l may care for tli' filthy thinge. 
 
 Anfwered by mee e.v tempwe as received, J. E. 
 
 You brutilli Hiohlanders, what is the thing-e 
 That you foe much defire to haue, a Kinge, 
 Your feffe is little, and your clothes are bad. 
 Surely, I thinke, the Devill hath made you mad ; 
 You fay you'l flay amongfl your rocks and hills, 
 But for your gutts wee haue prepared pills, 
 To fend you loving fubjeds, with your Kinge, 
 To Tophett, where your names fo highly ringe : 
 Now fee your pfeudo preifls haue taught you well 
 The neereft way to the Abyffe of Hell, 
 And truly I commend their ferpent's witt, 
 Becaufe for heauen they thought you were nott fitt 
 Now fee your doome, you idle drunken fotts. 
 And tak't as truth, vou are the worft of Scotts. 
 
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