THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 PROE CHARLES A. KOFOID AND 
 MRS. PRUDENCE W. KOFOID 
 
&&?*< 
 
RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS 
 
 SOLDIER OF FORTUNE. 
 
 W. H. MAXWELL, 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 Stories of Waterloo," " Wild Sports of the West," " Life of Wellington, 1 
 &c. &c. &c. 
 
 WITH A PORTRAIT OF THE AUTHOR, AND ILLUSTRATIONS 
 BY H. K. BROWNE. 
 
 ' Life is a tale." SHAKSPEARE. 
 
 DUBLIN 
 WILLIAM CURRY, JUN. AND COMPANY, 
 
 LONGMAN, BROWN, AND CO. LONDON. 
 
 1842. 
 
DUBLIN 
 
 I'HINTKI) HY J. S. FOLDS, SON, AND PATTON, 
 
 5, Bachelor's- walk. 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 ALTHOUGH garbed in the attire of romance, 
 there is not a tale in this volume which 
 wants some foundation in reality. Those 
 who mingle extensively with mankind, will 
 view life as it is, with much to laugh at, 
 and more, probably, to lament. Others, 
 beside the unfortunate, are occasionally intro- 
 duced to " strange bedfellows ;" and few travel 
 from Dan to Beersheba, *' find the way- 
 side barren. Hence, ^ locomotive habits, 
 the companionships of the author have been 
 many. The field for observation was large 
 he gleaned as he went along and, as Swift 
 says, "found a moral first, and studied for 
 a fable afterwards." 
 
 A 2 
 
 M80414D 
 
VI ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 Among the stories, that entitled " The 
 Outcast," will be generally considered as " fancy 
 framed" altogether. It is, however, substan- 
 tially true and the main incidents in the 
 narrative, startling as they may appear, are 
 not so much over-coloured as might be imagined. 
 "The Unknown" originated from a melancholy 
 incident of private life, but slightly altered 
 in the detail. The verisimilitude of " The 
 Pluralist" the author has no occasion to defend. 
 The persecution to which the Protestant clergy 
 were subjected the misery themselves and their 
 families underwent and the meekness with 
 which poverty and privations were endured 
 obtained the sympathy of all, excepting those 
 degraded statesmen, who " wrought ruin" upon 
 hundreds, to propitiate one guilty man. The 
 circumstances attendant upon the conviction and 
 death of Major Campbell are perfectly authentic. 
 
 Lastly the hero of the longest tale, I am 
 happy to add, L is still alive and merry. He 
 abideth in the far west takes the world as 
 it comes -and, over an evening tumbler of 
 veritable potteen, frequently narrates his marriage 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. Vll 
 
 and general misfortunes. I have endeavoured 
 to perpetuate the adventures of my " fat 
 friend " but alas ! compared with his inimitable 
 monologues, my narrative will be found "flat, 
 stale, and unprofitable." 
 
 Among the cares and anxieties of authorship 
 and their name is legion now and again, some 
 pleasurable occurrence lightens the toil of mental 
 exertion, and cheers on the literary adventurer 
 to a fresh essay. If former efforts have met a 
 favourable reception, he taxes Fortune again 
 and, with parental pride, commits a new offspring 
 to the same kindly influences, trusting that 
 " gentle readers" will " indulge one labour more." 
 
 In launching his little skiff upon the ocean of 
 opinion, where 
 
 te Argosies, with portly sail, 
 Like signiors and rich burghers, on the flood, 
 Do overpeer the petty traffickers," 
 
 other circumstances, besides, afford the author 
 additional satisfaction. This volume is produced 
 by an Irish publisher, and printed at a native 
 press. 
 
 In Ireland, a few years since, nothing was 
 
Vlll ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 attempted beyond the publication of a pamphlet 
 and it was asserted and believed that the country 
 was unable to support a magazine. Periodicals 
 were frequently announced, and as regularly 
 "strangled in the cradle;" and the first mariner 
 was not, even in the estimation of old Horace, 
 considered half so desperate, as the daring 
 bibliopole who ventured to perpetrate a book. 
 Under such withering influences, the art of 
 printing became almost disused while, chilled 
 and discouraged, the talent of the country sought, 
 in the sister island, for that fame and fortune, 
 which, in its fatherland, was unattainable. 
 
 A brighter era in Irish literature has appeared 
 and private exertions, unsparingly employed, 
 have been liberally seconded by the public. The 
 present volume will fairly show what rapid 
 improvements have been made in native typo- 
 graphy and, through many difficulties, " The 
 Dublin University Magazine" has "clomb the 
 hill to fame" at last, and taken a high stand 
 among the directors of national opinion and pur- 
 veyors to public taste. 
 
 Anecdote, at times, illustrates an assertion 
 
ADVERTISEMENT. IX 
 
 better far than argument. Four years ago, the 
 author of these pages inquired for his national 
 periodical in a country town not sixty miles from 
 the metropolis and it was sought in vain. A few 
 weeks since in the Ultima Thule of the Romans, 
 and in the remotest inn of Britain on visiting 
 Lerwick, he found the latest number on the 
 table of the last " hostelry" in Europe to which 
 the traveller could claim admittance. 
 
 W. H. M. 
 
 Peaton House, 1st January, 1842. 
 
RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 . o 
 
 A SOLDIER'S DOMICILE. 
 
 " A low snug dwelling, and in good repair.'' 
 
 THE HONEYMOON. 
 
 THE tourist who visits the beautiful scenery of 
 Dunbarton and Stirlingshire, will not suppose 
 that it can be much indebted either to the poet 
 or painter for the celebrity it has gained. Its 
 descriptive character, so varied and magnificent 
 uniting opposite effects, as the softened out- 
 line of lake and " lonely isle " contrasts itself 
 with the savage grandeur of alpine mountains ; 
 while legendary tale and historical associations 
 blend intimately with its beauties, and confer on 
 this romantic district a charm which nothing 
 artificial can achieve. 
 
 B 
 
 
Z RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 And yet, and but a few years since, these lovely 
 scenes were viewed by few except those resident 
 in their immediate locality. Difficult of access, 
 a spell seemed thrown around their loveliness, 
 which forbad the stranger to approach. At last 
 the wizard came the magic pen of Scott disclosed 
 beauties which had been hidden from the world, 
 and obtained for his own loved " land of the 
 mountain and the flood" that fame so long 
 unclaimed, and now so willingly conceded. 
 
 Thirty years ago, and at times only, the pilgrim 
 step of some ardent worshipper of nature " sought 
 the wild heaths of Uam Var," or lingered among 
 the 
 
 " copsewood grey 
 
 That waves and weeps on Loch Achray, 
 And mingles with the pine trees blue 
 On the bold cliffs of Benvenue." 
 
 But now thousands visit those romantic scenes, 
 rescued from obscurity by the splendid creations of 
 " Scotland's honoured bard," and from which, 
 in fair return, the poet obtained his happiest 
 inspirations. 
 
 It was late in September, and a day which 
 throughout had been louring and windy, became 
 

A SOLDIER S DOMICILE. 
 
 more and more stormy as evening approached. 
 Warned by unequivocal indications of a coming 
 tempest, the fisherman had secured his skiff, and 
 the shooter abandoned the moor. The herd, 
 returned from the hill-side, had thrown off his 
 dripping plaid his dog was already asleep before 
 the fire, and his wife occupied in preparing their 
 humble supper. Through all the extent of a high- 
 land strath, all had sought their dwellings. It 
 was full time, indeed, for a wilder night was 
 rarely witnessed at the equinox. 
 
 From the parlour- windows of a lonely mansion 
 situated in the same glen, a glare of light streamed 
 redly through the haze of evening ; and within, 
 two personages might have been discovered seated 
 comfortably at either side of a sparkling wood- 
 fire. 
 
 On one "the signet sage" of middle life was 
 visibly imprinted. He was still a stout and 
 vigorous man, although climate had assisted time 
 in sapping a framework which seemed calculated 
 to resist the assaults of both together. The 
 expression of his features bespoke intelligence 
 and decision ; and without taking into account 
 
RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 some peculiarities in his style of dress, there would 
 be little difficulty in concluding that his profession 
 had been " the trade of arms," and that having 
 turned his sword into a ploughshare, he was 
 enjoying that space of brief repose, before the 
 grave, that "end of all men," terminates the 
 chequered career which generally marks a soldier's 
 life. His companion had barely touched "life's 
 summer." Younger by twenty years, there was 
 nothing in his exterior to indicate professional 
 pursuits. His general appearance was very favour- 
 able. His air was gentlemanly, and his dress the 
 careless costume of a sportsman. 
 
 The apartment exhibited that quiet sort of 
 comfort which the occupants seemed determined 
 to put in ample requisition. On the table there 
 were sundry bottles containing divers liquids ; 
 sugar and limes were not found wanting; and 
 a silver kettle simmered above a spirit-lamp, 
 keeping its water in that happy state of ebullition 
 in which a toddy-drinker taketh delight. Stretched 
 at full length in the corner, a full-grown deer- 
 hound was reposing and at either side of him who 
 appeared to be the owner of the house, two short- 
 
A SOLDIER S DOMICILE. O 
 
 legged, straw-coloured terriers were seated, pricking 
 their foxed ears as the gust moaned through the 
 pine-wood, and occasionally turning their keen 
 black eyes upon their master's face, as if inquiring 
 what had occasioned this uproar out of doors. 
 
 " What a gale it is !" said the elder of the two. 
 " Replenish, Jack ay, and with a safe conscience 
 too : for this is not the night when a man should 
 reckon the number of his tumblers too religiously. 
 On with more wood ! I wish we had some of 
 the old c Corinthians ' here." 
 
 " I would rather prefer some young ones," 
 rejoined the sportsman. " Nothing can be duller 
 than your domicile in bad weather, colonel. The 
 grouse won't stand a dog ; the burn comes roaring 
 from the hills as black as Erebus; you take in 
 none but Tory periodicals ; and if a man only 
 chucks a lassie under the chin, he's threatened 
 instanter with the cuttie stool. What noise is 
 that?" 
 
 " Never look at Purdy in the corner. All's 
 safe and stupid here, Jack. It's the herd, or 
 probably the fisher's wife with a salmon for 
 to-morrow." 
 
6 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " Neither, Ned. There are at least half-a- 
 dozen interlopers. But here comes Jessie, and 
 we shall soon be wiser, if we be not sadder 
 men." 
 
 The attendant handed three tickets to her mas- 
 ter. " The gentlemen," she said, " had wished 
 to cross the ferry, and reach the inn beyond the 
 loch, but the storm was too violent, and the 
 boatmen refused to attempt a passage. Would 
 Colonel O'Flagherty afford them shelter for the 
 night?" 
 
 "What a question to put to an Irishman. In 
 with them, Jessie. Let Sandy look to their horses, 
 do you take charge of the driver, and let us have 
 supper in double-quick. Where the devil are my 
 spectacles ? Here, Jack, look the names over 
 and let us know how we are to address our 
 visitors." 
 
 The younger of the two took the cards, and 
 read their addresses carelessly. 
 
 " ' Mr. Melville, Figtree-court, Temple.' I 
 hate lawyers." 
 
 " And I, also, have an hereditary dislike to the 
 profession. But I won't play Penruddock to-night, 
 
A SOLDIER S DOMICILE. 7 
 
 and converse with the templar ' in the open air.' 
 Who comes next ?" 
 
 " * Captain Henry Bouverie, 57th regiment.' 5! 
 
 "By heaven! a welcome guest. I was bri- 
 gaded, Jack, with the old c Die-hards ' at 
 Albuera. We took fourteen hundred men into 
 action ; and when the day closed, the three regi- 
 ments had scarcely four hundred bayonets with 
 the colours. If a fifty-seventh dog straggled 
 hither and could only name his regiment, he 
 might live and die here. Who comes third file ?" 
 
 " < Mr. Arthur O'Donel, Balla Balla Bal- 
 
 lama D n it, the name's interminable. 
 
 Some c gentleman from Ireland ' on what he calls 
 a tower ^ partly in search of the picturesque, and 
 partly in hopes of grabbing some silly heiress or 
 doting widow in the course of his peregrinations." 
 
 "No matter a countryman Ceade millia 
 fealtheagh ! But here they come." 
 
 The belated travellers entered in the same order 
 in which their cards had been delivered. The 
 lawyer acted as advanced guard, the soldier sup- 
 ported him, and the gentleman with the intermi- 
 nable address formed the reserve. 
 
RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 They all passed muster gallantly. The lawyer 
 was a smart, dapper, little man, neatly dressed in 
 black, with easy manners, and features which 
 bespoke calm thought and quiet intelligence. The 
 soldier looked what he was and no one could 
 mistake the country to which his companion 
 appertained. Although in his language and 
 address Mr. O'Donel had nothing prominently 
 national, still the expression of his face was of 
 that mercurial character peculiar to denizens of 
 the Emerald Isle that mixture of firmness and 
 humour which gave assurance that in the gentle- 
 man with the interminable address you had a 
 "right merrie " comrade over night, and a friend, 
 should necessity require, ready to "go the whole 
 hog" in the morning, " and no mistake." 
 
 "Gentlemen," quoth the commander, "brief 
 ceremony is best at all times, and more particu- 
 larly after men have been pelted by a storm on a 
 highland hill. Pray be seated. On with more 
 wood, Jack. I am called Colonel O'Flagherty 
 a Conservative to the back-bone, and one who 
 swears by the Duke of Wellington. This gentle- 
 man is a kinsman of the same name one of those 
 
A SOLDIER S DOMICILE. 
 
 nondescript animals yclept Whigs ; and I lament 
 to add, although young, an incorrigible offender. 
 Finding his conversion hopeless, we eschew poli- 
 tics by mutual consent ; and, like two armies in 
 the field who wish to decline an action, we avoid a 
 trial of strength, although now and then we 
 indulge in some smart skirmishing at the outposts. 
 Mr. Melville, I bid you welcome. You look too 
 honest for a lawyer and had not that accursed 
 court been emblazoned on your card, none would 
 have suspected it. Captain Bouverie, I claim 
 you as a comrade. I spent a bloody day on the 
 left flank of your glorious regiment. Mr. O'Donel, 
 give me a countryman's hand. Don't believe all 
 that my cousin Jack will say, for, with all their 
 failings, I love the lads of the sod. But here 
 comes supper. I'll tease you with no apologies 
 soldiers and sportsmen must c rough it ' now 
 and then and I'll back Maggie my cook for 
 brandering a black cock against any lass in 
 Dunbartonshire." 
 
 That the commander's eulogy was deserved 
 might have been inferred from the performance 
 of the company. Sportsmen and soldiers enjoy 
 
 B 2 
 
10 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 the reputation of being excellent trenchermen, and 
 consequently Maggie's brander and salmon cutlets 
 underwent a heavy visitation. 
 
 " Gentlemen, we will now close up to the cen- 
 tre," said the colonel, as the lassie removed the 
 cloth, and deposited *a huge china bowl with 
 all necessary appurtenances upon the table. 
 " Jack, I will entrust the bruist to thee. Would 
 that thy politics were as orthodox as thy 
 punch." 
 
 * If there be comfort and consolation in a stoup of 
 hot toddy, it will be felt additionally should the 
 night be tempestuous, and the scene " a highland 
 home." So thought the colonel's visitors ; round 
 went the punch ; and, sooth to say, the office of the 
 colonel's kinsman was any thing but a sinecure. 
 
 " Gentlemen, we have drunk our sovereign 
 God bless her ! and now we will fill to c The 
 Duke.' " 
 
 "What Duke? Devonshire or Leinster ?" 
 inquired the punch-maker, with a smile. 
 
 " Jack," returned the commander solemnly, 
 " there is one Waterloo, and one Duke. If the 
 Whig ones wait till their healths float on the sur- 
 
A SOLDIER'S DOMICILE. 11 
 
 face of my toddy, as honest Bob Burns says, 
 ' by my saul, they'll wait awee.' Come, gentle- 
 men," the host after a pause continued, "one 
 bumper more, and let it be a high one. The 
 presence of my young comrade recalls scenes 
 gone by, and in fancy I stand once more on 
 the bloody ridge of Albuera. Alas ! that glory 
 should be bought so dear. At nine in the 
 morning, six thousand British bayonets glittered 
 on the hill at two that afternoon, the parting 
 volley which fell heavily on Soult's beaten 
 columns, was delivered from fifteen hundred 
 muskets. I escaped unwounded: but the friend 
 of my youth he whom I loved dearer than a 
 brother died at my side ; and the last sound that 
 passed his lips was a cheer as he saw the 
 French give way before the slaughtering volleys 
 of the Fusileers. Come, gentlemen, we drink a 
 silent toast To the memory of those who fell at 
 Albuera !" 
 
 " And where could a soldier meet death so 
 well ?" exclaimed Captain Bouverie, as the colonel 
 sighed heavily. " The breach or battle-field 
 should ever be his resting-place. Many have 
 
12 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 survived a glorious hour on which to meet their 
 fate, and dragged on life through years of poverty 
 and suffering a burden to themselves a cause 
 of misery to others." 
 
 " I could relate a tale," observed the com- 
 mander, " which would point that moral well. 
 It was indeed a strange adventure. The night is 
 yet young, gentlemen, and I will tell you a singu- 
 lar story. Come, Jack, ply thy ladle well, and I 
 will 6 spin my yarn ' as briefly as I can." 
 
 The colonel having taken a preparatory pinch 
 of black rapee, " to clear the cobwebs from his 
 memory," thus continued 
 
THE OUTCAST. 
 
 < Blood hath been shed ere now, i' the olden tune, 
 Ere human statute purg'd the general weal ; 
 Ay, and since, too, murders have been performed 
 Too terrible for the ear." 
 
 " Kill men i' the dark ! where be these bloody thieves ?" 
 
 SHAKESPEARE. 
 
 A MILD spring evening had succeeded the wettest 
 day that ever blockaded me in the bay-window of 
 a west-end hotel. Saint Martin's clock struck 
 seven and the hour was come when the labours of 
 the industrious begin to terminate, and the amuse- 
 ments of the idle to commence. The clerk was 
 emancipated from his desk the dressmaker had 
 completed her task, and with her blue bonnet-box 
 hanging on her arm, was hastening to the shop of 
 her employer the guardsman hurried to his 
 barrack and the lover started as the bells chimed 
 from the steeple, and quickened his pace lest the 
 fair one should reach " the trysting place " before 
 him. A busy crowd thronged the debouches of 
 
14 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 Leicester-square, all intent upon engrossing ob- 
 jects of their own various and vain as human 
 passions prompt entailing pain in the pursuit, 
 and too often shame and sorrow in the possession. 
 
 My friend and I turned from this crowded 
 thoroughfare on our road to a restaurateur's 
 where we had already ordered dinner. The 
 crossing was clean the sweeper made his custo- 
 mary demand and, like most of charity's appeals, 
 it was heard and disregarded. We touched the 
 opposite curb-stone, the sweeper following but 
 his tone of supplication ceased, and a deep voice 
 
 exclaimed, " Captain M , you owe me a 
 
 dollar !" 
 
 We started and turned round. The sweeper 
 was leaning carelessly against the lamp-post his 
 attitude rather that of one who demands a right, 
 than of him who solicits assistance. 
 
 The light fell fully upon the spot, and we exa- 
 mined the mendicant attentively. His was the 
 ruin of a noble figure, rugged and mutilated as 
 it was. The foot was firmly planted on the 
 ground, while the position of the head and chest 
 showed the " setting-up " that always betrays a 
 
THE OUTCAST. 15 
 
 soldier. In height the sweeper was far over six 
 feet the framework was powerful and massive 
 the hair grizzled the beard bushy and 
 neglected and from the appearance of an empty 
 sleeve, the left arm had been amputated at the 
 socket. 
 
 Half a minute elapsed, and still we looked ear- 
 nestly at each other. The mendicant's glance was 
 fixed as mine and in a deeper tone he again 
 addressed my friend, and repeated, " Captain 
 M , you owe me a dollar !" 
 
 "Now, who the devil are you? I never saw 
 you in my life." 
 
 The outcast laughed bitterly. 
 
 " Wonderful," he said, " how old acquain- 
 tanceship will oftentimes fade from memory. 
 Notwithstanding your forgetfulness, still, Captain 
 M , you owe me a dollar !" 
 
 " For what ?" exclaimed my friend. 
 
 " Wine !" returned the mendicant. 
 
 "Wine? Nonsense, man!" 
 
 " Ay, and as good as was ever taken from the 
 havre-sack of a dead enemy. Noble captain, has 
 Salamanca so totally escaped your recollection ?" 
 
16 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " Salamanca ! What of it, fellow ?" 
 
 " The eighty - th were there, I fancy," 
 returned the sweeper carelessly. 
 
 "They were." 
 
 " Ay, I thought so. It was a warm day in 
 every sense, and the evening was as hot. Before 
 the battle ended, many a brave man had fallen 
 unwounded in the ranks, struck down by a burn- 
 ing sun, and tortured by intolerable thirst. A 
 lieutenant in the grenadier company was wounded 
 and carried to the rear. One of the men that 
 brought him off had found a Frenchman's canteen. 
 He gave it to his officer. Wine there was worth 
 gold and where' s the wonder, that in return, 
 the soldier received the promise of a bottle ?" 
 
 He paused, turned his eyes steadily on my 
 companion, and in yet deeper tones exclaimed, 
 " Captain M , you owe me a dollar !" 
 
 "By heaven, O'Flaherty, the man speaks 
 truth and a faint remembrance of the occurrence 
 flashes across my memory." My companion 
 turned to the sweeper " Were you the man who 
 gave me a flask of wine at Salamanca ?" 
 
 The mendicant shrugged up his solitary shoul- 
 
THE OUTCAST. 17 
 
 der. " Captain M ," he continued, " do you. 
 
 remember a man named Coyne ?" 
 
 " Perfectly," was the reply. " A finer soldier 
 was never flank-file to a company ; a braver never 
 crossed a breach; and a greater blackguard was 
 never inflicted upon a regiment. I saw him get 
 five hundred for robbing a Spanish cure." 
 
 "Ay," rejoined the mendicant, " and they said 
 he had kissed the priest's niece, whether she would 
 or not, and added, that she was the prettiest girl 
 in the commune. How did Coyne stand the hal- 
 berds, captain?" 
 
 " Like a devil as he was. He stripped without 
 changing a feature, placed a musket-ball between 
 his teeth, and never gave a groan." 
 
 "Yet," replied the mendicant, " he was after- 
 wards made corporal. He saved a picket from 
 being taken ; and shot for he was advanced videt 
 the officer who led the party that attempted the 
 surprise." 
 
 "Yes; and luckier still, he died a soldier's 
 death, and fell at the head of his company, when 
 the ' fighting third ' swept through the village of 
 
18 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 Arinez, and ended a glorious field. Was not 
 Coyne killed at Vitoria?" 
 
 " They said so," replied the sweeper. " But, 
 captain, do you admit or deny the debt ?" 
 
 "Own it without scruple; and am ready to 
 hand the dollar to his executor." 
 
 " Better and easier to pay it to himself. Come 
 to the railing, gentlemen a short time will tell a 
 curious history." 
 
 The mendicant strode again across the street, 
 and placed his back against the palisades. A lamp 
 revealed the outline of his figure, and threw 
 its light directly upon a face whose expression 
 was singular and forbidding, but probably, might 
 have once been handsome. Though the fea- 
 tures were regular, their character was ferocious 
 and repulsive; and a sword-cut that traversed 
 the forehead and deeply scarred the eyebrow, 
 added truculence to a countenance, on which 
 nature had already imprinted her darkest outlines 
 indicating passions beyond self-control, and the 
 repression of conventional authority. 
 
 " Your time is valuable, gentlemen," said the 
 
THE OUTCAST. 19 
 
 mendicant, " and I will crowd into a brief 
 space, the incidents of a life in which there is 
 little of pleasure to look back upon. I never had 
 a friend in whom I could confide and I never 
 loved a woman who returned it. Through life I 
 seemed a second Cain my hand against all, and 
 every man's hand against me. But, patience. 
 The" wildest storm is soonest followed by a calm 
 the quiet of the grave awaits alike the beggar and 
 the prince. The race of every man must have its 
 goal ; and something whispers me, that ere long 
 my career will close as it commenced in blood- 
 shed." 
 
 It seemed strange with what indifference the 
 mendicant was about to make revelations which 
 criminals generally avoid. If his personal appear- 
 ance was remarkable, the manner in which he 
 expressed himself was not less singular. His lan- 
 guage was forcible and fluent, and different from 
 what might have been expected from one of that 
 vagabond order to which he belonged. 
 
 "My origin is lowly, gentlemen, as you may 
 suppose. My father was herdsman under an easy 
 master and during a long life he managed to save 
 
20 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 as much money as obtained for him a village repu- 
 tation of being wealthy. I, an only child, was 
 destined to achieve the great object of a peasant's 
 ambition, and was preparing to enter Maynooth. 
 God knows, I should have made a sorry churchman. 
 But that intention was speedily set at rest. I was 
 what they call in Ireland 'unlucky' from my 
 birth ; and at a hurling-match, where a row casu- 
 ally occurred, a skull was fractured, and they said 
 that I had struck the blow. I did not remain, 
 however, to abide the inquiry. I robbed my 
 father bolted the same night lived bravely while 
 the money lasted and when the last shilling was 
 spent, took another from a recruiting-sergeant, 
 and listed a militia-man. 
 
 " In the South Mayo I remained a year. 
 There I was drilled got drunk drew my bayo- 
 net on a corporal had my back scratched was 
 sent to the hospital and when I quitted it, 
 turned out for the line. 
 
 " I remained two years in England, and during 
 that period deserted and re-enlisted thrice. My 
 fourth attempt, however, concluded that game. I 
 joined your second battalion, captain and my per- 
 
THE OUTCAST. 21 
 
 feet discipline begat a suspicion, which reference to 
 my back confirmed. They concluded that they had 
 caught a loose fish ; clapped me in the guard- 
 house for better security ; and made all sure, by 
 whipping me on ship-board within a week, and 
 sending me out to the Peninsula to join the first 
 battalion. 
 
 " Well I was safely landed at Lisbon, and 
 marched directly to ' the Lines ;' and a more trou- 
 blesome recruit, or a better drilled soldier, never 
 joined a regiment. I was the tallest man in the 
 grenadiers by half an inch and the adjutant con- 
 fessed that I was the best set-up soldier in the 
 company. 
 
 66 For once I stuck close to my colours, although 
 I often felt inclined to try whether the French 
 fared better than we did. In the field, the captain 
 will admit that I did my duty like a man ; but for 
 good conduct when in quarters, the less said the 
 better. 
 
 " I had been a twelvemonth in the Peninsula, 
 when, early in January, 1812, the duke broke 
 ground before Rodrigo. Siege duty in bad wea- 
 ther is no joke, as the captain knows but we 
 
22 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 had a general who always had the trick of coming 
 to the point at once ; and as Marmont was concen- 
 trating fast for the relief of the fortress, Welling- 
 ton determined to be beforehand, and save him the 
 trouble of the march. 
 
 "Captain, whatever occurrences may fade from 
 our memories, those of the night of the 19th of 
 January will not be of the number. On that day, 
 in turn of duty, the third and light divisions were 
 ordered to the trenches. At dark, we moved 
 forward to the rear of the first parallel, and formed 
 in front of the great breach; and, by Saint 
 Patrick, there was as much work cut out for us 
 as we could do ; and, at rough fighting, it was 
 hard to tax the ould third too heavily. 
 
 " When the town clock struck six, our division 
 stood to arms. Picton rode up the storming 
 party was told off and the forlorn-hope desired to 
 volunteer. Out stepped the captain there and 
 twenty tearing fellows followed him. 
 
 " Clang went the cathedral bell once more and 
 many a hundred gallant spirits heard their last hour 
 tolled. The word was given to advance : we led 
 the stormers, and the column was close behind 
 
THE OUTCAST. 23 
 
 them. All was silent as the grave, and one would 
 have sworn that the garrison had gone to sleep ; but 
 not an eye that evening was closed within Eodrigo. 
 
 " We neared the main breach. One sentry dis- 
 charged his musket, and then the storm burst. 
 Every gun that would bear upon the approaches 
 opened, and between shells and blue-lights the 
 breach seemed in a perfect blaze ; but our leader 
 cheered us on and at it we went like bull-dogs. 
 
 " At last the French gave way. You, Captain 
 
 M , forced a passage down the side of the 
 
 retrenchment, and Brazil and I followed. You 
 collected the stragglers as they came forward, and 
 pushed direct to gam the castle when I thought 
 I had done enough already in the fighting line, 
 and slipped aside at the corner of a square, to set 
 off in search of drink, devilment, and plunder. 
 
 " I wandered through several streets. Every 
 house was closed every casement darkened 
 a fearful stillness reigned around, occasionally bro- 
 ken by cheering at the breaches, as the supporting 
 regiments poured into the captured city, and some- 
 times by a dropping shot or two fired in the direc- 
 tion of the castle. Aware that the ill-fated town 
 
24 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 would be immediately overrun by soldiers and 
 camp-followers, I pushed on a-head to gain a quar- 
 ter remote from the scene of strife, and where I 
 might plunder for a time with little fear of inter- 
 ruption. It was strange that in a populous city I 
 should not encounter a living thing. The inhabi- 
 tants, poor wretches, had concealed themselves, to 
 escape, if they could, the first fury of the excited 
 soldiery the French had retreated in another 
 direction Rodrigo seemed abandoned to myself, 
 and I looked around to select a house in which my 
 depredations might be commenced successfully. 
 
 " One side of the street was occupied by a large 
 convent, and on the other there stood a range of 
 private dwellings. At the extremity, and encircled 
 by a garden, I observed an isolated house. Its neat 
 exterior announced that it belonged to persons in 
 comfortable circumstances ; and its situation was 
 retired, and therefore the better suited for the 
 work of plunder. Without a moment's hesitation 
 I bounded over a low palisade that separated the 
 garden from the street, and instantly sought an 
 entrance. 
 
 " The doors and lower windows were barred 
 
THE OUTCAST. 25 
 
 securely ; I tried them all in vain and to my 
 knocking and peremptory demand to be admitted, 
 no answer was returned. 
 
 " You both, gentlemen, have been with an 
 army in the field, and frequently overheard the 
 conversation of a picket round a watch-fire : 
 sometimes, a detail of low debauchery sometimes, 
 narratives relating to successful plundering and 
 not unfrequently, a free confession of crimes of 
 darker hue. Often, had I listened with pleasure 
 while older marauders than myself related their 
 infamous exploits, and I now remembered to have 
 heard it asserted by these pillagers, that no lock 
 however strong, will withstand the discharge of 
 a musket through the key-hole. I tried the 
 experiment for the first time. The bolt was 
 shattered the door gave way I stood within 
 the dwelling and a faint light that escaped from 
 beneath a door, showed me a flight of stairs that 
 led to the apartment. 
 
 " I reloaded my musket and ascended to the 
 first floor, and a low whispering told that the cham- 
 ber before me was inhabited. I knocked loudly, 
 but no one replied, and determined to waste no 
 
 c 
 
26 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 time, I tried my strength upon the door, and 
 the fastenings were too feeble to resist it. 
 
 " Two females were the occupants ; and two 
 lovelier ones could not have been discovered in 
 Rodrigo. The elder was in the full bloom of 
 womanly beauty the younger, a lovely girl of 
 sixteen. Between them a likeness existed that 
 told it was a mother and her child. 
 
 " The horrid crash which the explosion of my 
 firelock had caused would have harbingered the 
 appearance of a demon, and, no doubt, I looked 
 one. I had received some flesh wounds in the 
 breach; my face and jacket were stained with 
 blood and blackened with gunpowder ; my coun- 
 tenance was flushed by recent excitement; I had 
 drunk freely before the storm and the expression 
 of my features told how little mercy might be 
 expected at my hands. 
 
 " The younger female uttered a piercing scream, 
 threw her arms wildly round her mother's neck, 
 and, as a last hope, clung to that loved one for 
 protection, while the despairing look with which 
 the elder supplicated pity, might have had influ- 
 ence on any spirit less savage than my own. But 
 
THE OUTCAST. 27 
 
 I was callous already, the blackest passions were 
 raging in my breast with brutal force I tore the 
 screaming girl from her parent's arms, locked her 
 in my own, and covered her lips with noxious 
 kisses. 
 
 " The wretched mother made a strong effort to 
 release her daughter from my grasp she might 
 as easily have loosed the lamb from the lion's 
 hold. In an agony of grief she pressed her 
 temples with her hands, and then, as if a thought 
 had struck her suddenly, she seized the lamp, 
 rushed to a corner of the chamber, unclosed a 
 concealment in the wall, took out a purse of gold, 
 knelt at my feet, and placed it in my hand. She 
 saw some hesitation in my manner : the bribe 
 she fancied was not probably sufficient, and she 
 plucked jewels from her ears and fingers, and a 
 sparkling crucifix from her breast, and, as she 
 pressed me to accept them, implored me to spare 
 the honour of her child. The language was 
 Spanish, and unknown to me ; but, oh God ! 
 how ardent was that prayer for pity ! 
 
 "I hid the purse and jewels in the breast of 
 my jacket, and the poor victims perhaps believed 
 
28 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 that I had relented in my purpose. One minute 
 undeceived them. A noise arose below men's 
 feet were heard upon the stairs and a private 
 of the ninety-fifth, with a Portuguese muleteer 
 rushed in. 
 
 " Another minute and a damning deed was done ! 
 They forced the mother to a distant room and 
 her cries, loud and wild at first and then ceasing 
 suddenly as if utterance was violently stopped, 
 told how savagely she was outraged. Nor did 
 her child experience from me that mercy which 
 the unfortunate parent had vainly purchased. In 
 an hour, when my companions in crime returned, 
 the poor victim, like a flower blighted before it 
 blooms, stole away dishonoured and debased, 
 to mingle her unavailing sorrow with a parent's, 
 herself subjected to the worst insult which hell 
 prompts, and demon man can perpetrate. 
 
 " Each of my felon comrades had plundered 
 apparently to their satisfaction, for both had a 
 bundle roughly tied up. They had found some 
 bottles of wine and we sate down and drank 
 to an infamous confederacy. 
 
 " The revelry was short a drunken cheer was 
 
THE OUTCAST. 29 
 
 heard at no great distance from the house, and 
 the time had come when not to plunder, but to 
 avoid being plundered, was an object. That 
 fatal night, upon Kodrigo a multitude of ruffians 
 were unloosed ; the three greatest probably were 
 assembled in the lonely house and the worst by 
 far was the muleteer. 
 
 " ' Damnation,' he exclaimed, c could we have 
 but kept possession for another hour, we should 
 have found twice the booty we have got. And 
 the women too the loveliest within Rodrigo : 
 many a skin of wine I carried from the lady's 
 vineyard/ 
 
 " Another and a louder cheer announced that 
 the band was numerous and near at hand. 
 
 " < By San lago, I'll mar their harvest,' he 
 exclaimed. 
 
 " The Portuguese seized the lamp rushed out 
 was absent for a minute returned and fired the 
 curtains of the room and followed us down stairs, 
 whither we had hurried to save our plunder and 
 quit the scene of crime. 
 
 " The rest is but a dream I only remember it 
 indistinctly. We roamed to and fro, anxious 
 
30 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 to escape light-handed adventurers who were 
 marauding over the town, and despoiling indis- 
 criminately the robbers and the robbed. In 
 drunken wisdom we determined to obtain shelter 
 during the remainder of the night and accident 
 disclosed what appeared to be a secure asylum. 
 It proved a den of butchery. 
 
 " It was an obscure vault beneath the cathedral, 
 which had been used by some French commissary 
 as a place to store his wine. It seemed to 
 have been but recently deserted by the owner, 
 for the door was open, and a lantern was burning 
 on the floor. A dozen wine-skins were standing 
 against the wall, and two or three casks of brandy 
 were laid upon the floor. We knocked in the head 
 of one a savage debauch succeeded and we 
 drank, quarrelled, and attempted to rob each other. 
 The muleteer and the ninety-fifth man drew 
 knife and bayonet, and as they struggled, I dis- 
 charged my musket, not caring which I killed. 
 The Portuguese ruffian was the victim for my 
 bullet passed directly through his heart. 
 
 " I know nothing more the lantern was over- 
 turned and hours of darkness succeeded, while 
 
THE OUTCAST. 31 
 
 I lay buried in drunken insensibility. I awoke, 
 tortured with ravening thirst ; and minutes elapsed 
 before I could recall to memory the place and 
 past transactions, or feel assured that all was not 
 a troubled vision. 
 
 " Proofs were not long wanting ; a sad reality 
 appeared, and the consequences of last night's 
 brutality were disgustingly presented. The pallid 
 features of the muleteer, with his leaden eyes wide 
 open, were staring straight on mine; and the 
 soldier, covered to the ears in wine, had been hours 
 before smothered in his drunkenness. Through 
 accident or wantonness the wine-skins had been 
 ripped in the struggle ; the floor was flooded a foot 
 deep, and I had escaped the fate of my companion 
 by the mere accident of falling across a heap of 
 rubbish in the corner. I would have drank but 
 gouts of blood were floating on the Xerez ; the 
 surface was reddened I never thought one body 
 could have contained so much. 
 
 " I crawled out from this horrid den, and went 
 staggering along a street or two. I met a fountain 
 in my way ; my thirst was burning ; I drank 
 deeply of the cooling water and, a few paces on, 
 
32 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 entered a deserted mule-shed, stretched myself 
 upon the litter, and fell into a heavy sleep. 
 
 " Hours had elapsed, for it was pitch dark when I 
 awoke, and I turned with difficulty upon the straw. 
 The heavy blows I had received in the melee upon 
 the breach, though unheeded at the time, were now 
 severely felt, and the sword cuts were festering 
 from neglect. I found myself fevered by my 
 late debauch, and yet the cold was intolerable. 
 A burning thirst consumed me. I could not sleep ; 
 if I slumbered, I dreamed that I was again 
 beside the fountain ; I stooped to drink, but the 
 water was gone, and the filthy stream that spouted 
 in its stead, was sherry mixed with blood. At 
 last, nature was wearied out. I slept, but it was 
 not the sleep that refreshes. The women, the 
 dead muleteer, the smothered soldier, the filthy 
 vault, the bloody wine all flitted before my eyes, 
 and tortured me with maddening phantasies. 
 
 " Suddenly, a rude shake dispelled these horrid 
 visions. I looked up a being, whose dress was 
 womanly, but whose truculent look and masculine 
 frame almost belied her sex, was standing over 
 me. I raised myself upon my elbow; a heavy 
 
THE OUTCAST. 33 
 
 blow from some blunt instrument instantly struck 
 me down and when I recovered my senses, I 
 found myself alone ; my jacket was torn open, and 
 purse and jewels gone. My ill-got treasure had 
 disappeared, and passed into the possession of one 
 of those monsters in female form, who, vulture- 
 like, hover round an army in the field, and exceed 
 even man himself in crime and cruelty. 
 
 66 1 had now no motive to induce concealment 
 in turn, the robber had been robbed. The sooner 
 I obtained surgical assistance the better, and with 
 a painful exertion, I raised myself from the straw 
 and crawled slowly into Daylight. The pickets 
 were everywhere about to secure marauders and 
 carry off the drunken and the wounded. In a short 
 time a patrol came up and the officer despatched 
 a corporal and two files to carry me to the 
 hospital. 
 
 " A large convent had been hastily prepared for 
 the reception of disabled men, and thither we 
 proceeded ; but before we reached it, a scene was 
 reserved for me to witness, that ages, could 
 human life be thus prolonged, could never obli- 
 terate from memory. 
 
 c 2 
 
34 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " Previous to the capture of Rodrigo, desertions 
 on both sides had been numerous, and it was 
 known that of those who had left their regiments, 
 either to avoid the severity of field duties, or 
 escape the punishment incurred by military 
 offences, many had found shelter in the fortress. 
 There were at least a score of these criminals 
 in Rodrigo upon the night of the assault ; but 
 conscious of the fate that awaited them should 
 the storm succeed, they fought at the breaches 
 to the last, and the greater number died in des- 
 perate resistance. Those who survived were 
 brought to a drum-head court-martial; and on 
 three, but just condemned, the penalty of the 
 law was now in execution. 
 
 " The Provost-marshal and his guard had erected 
 a temporary gallows, and as we came up, the 
 criminals were turned off. My companions took 
 an interest in the passing scene, for one of the 
 sufferers had deserted from their own regiment. 
 I witnessed the execution with indifference a 
 far more horrible sight had been reserved for me. 
 
 " We had halted beside the ruins of a burned 
 house; and as a detached wing had accidentally 
 
THE OUTCAST. 35 
 
 escaped the flames, some of the inhabitants were 
 employed in removing portions of the furniture 
 which had been but partially injured. A cry 
 of horror was heard within, and two of my escort 
 sprang into the house to ascertain the cause. In 
 a few minutes they returned with several town's 
 people carrying a heavy load. It was wrapped 
 loosely in a cloth, and at my feet they laid it 
 down. 
 
 " Whatever it was, it seemed to have a power 
 of fascination. I could not withdraw my eyes, 
 and yet I dreaded to make inquiry. A minute 
 passed a man came from the crowd and directed 
 the cloth to be removed. He was obeyed ; and 
 never did the blessed light of day witness a more 
 horrible spectacle. 
 
 "There lay the bodies of two females: the heads 
 and trunks were perfect, but the lower extremities 
 had been consumed by fire. They were locked 
 in each other's arms ; and so rigid was death's 
 embrace, that it would have required force to 
 sever it. How destruction could have been so 
 partial, it is difficult to conceive. The faces 
 were uninjured, and the long black hair un- 
 
36 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 scorched. The features of both preserved their 
 living beauty, but they were horribly distorted; 
 and the frightful expression of agony that con- 
 vulsed them, told under what exquisite sufferings 
 the spirit must have passed away. Need I tell 
 you they were my victims? 
 
 "When I reached the hospital, decided fever 
 had set in ; and in an hour or two I was delirious. 
 I raved incessantly of mutilated women and 
 bloody wine. No one attended to it. It was 
 supposed that my brain had become unsettled 
 by injuries sustained in the assault; and on 
 recovering, I was sent to my regiment, and 
 for gallant conduct at the storm, noted for pro- 
 motion but that never came. 
 
 " From the moment I viewed the scorched and 
 mutilated bodies of my victims, hell was in my 
 breast, and the curse of heaven followed in my 
 footsteps. I, who had been the crack soldier of 
 a flank company, became as notorious for dirt 
 and inattention. Military pride was totally 
 extinguished, and half my time was consumed 
 in drunkenness, or the confinement inflicted for its 
 punishment. When in the immediate presence 
 
THE OUTCAST. 37 
 
 of an enemy, my former spirit for a time revived. 
 At Salamanca I did my duty like a man, and 
 gave you, captain, the Frenchman's flask, whom 
 a few minutes before I had killed in fair and 
 single fight. The prisoners said afterwards he 
 was the finest soldier in Spain, and reckoned the 
 ablest swordsman with the army. Well, I must 
 be brief, and bring my military history to an end. 
 It closed where people thought I died in carrying 
 the village of Arinez. 
 
 " Many a better man than I, left his colours on 
 the evening of the 21st of June, to plunder 
 the French baggage at Vitoria. Some returned 
 to their regiments others never rejoined them 
 and I was among the latter. With an hundred 
 marauders like myself, I went rambling through 
 the mountain villages, devastating property, and 
 maltreating the inhabitants. Our plundering 
 career was short ; violence provoked retaliation ; 
 we used the bayonet unsparingly, and the 
 Spaniards resorted in secret to the knife. The 
 account on both sides was kept tolerably square. 
 If we murdered half-a-score of peasants through 
 the day, at night a dozen of our comrades 
 
38 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 disappeared ; and if we found them afterwards, 
 it was always with a gashed throat. I seemed 
 to hold a charmed life, and escaped assassination ; 
 but, while in brutal inebriety, was tied hand 
 and foot by some peasants, delivered to a party 
 of French foragers, and carried into San 
 Sebastian a prisoner. My state of captivity was 
 brief: the first overture to enter the French service 
 was accepted and in the first sortie from the gar- 
 rison, I headed the party, got wounded, and was 
 sent from the fortress by sea to Passages, and thus 
 escaped the halter I had earned by desertion. 
 
 "Through the remainder of the war I continued 
 with the French army of the Pyrenees, and was 
 present at Sauroren, Orthez, and Toulouse. I 
 fought with a halter round my neck, and, need I 
 add, fought with reckless desperation. In every 
 one of these battles, by a strange fatality, I was 
 opposed to " The Fighting Third" and more 
 than once I felt an impulse, nearly irresistible, 
 to rush from the French ranks, rejoin my own 
 conquering division, and die at the head of that 
 noble company, of which, by turns, I had been 
 the pride and shame. 
 
THE OUTCAST. 39 
 
 " War ended; Napoleon was deposed; and I 
 spent a wandering life among the Pyrenees, half 
 brigand and half beggar. I could narrate a 
 volume of adventure let it pass. Napoleon 
 returned; I joined the French ranks again, and 
 was drafted from an elite company of the line, 
 into the Imperial Guard. 
 
 " At Waterloo I was wounded severely ; sent 
 without suspicion to a French hospital; and, 
 when recovered, obtained a passage to Cuba. 
 In the new world, I commenced a new career. 
 
 "It was one for which a spirit like mine was 
 best adapted. No honest calling was fitting 
 for an outcast a man steeped in guilt, and 
 familiarized with bloodshed. I sought out 
 ruffians like myself, and found them readily ; 
 chose another element as the scene of criminal 
 exploit ; joined an atrocious confederacy, and 
 became a rover of the sea. 
 
 " You have been wearied with details of 
 villany. Those, in my new vocation, I shall 
 pass over, and only say, that on leaving 
 Europe I might have been accounted inno- 
 
40 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 cent, were comparative crime estimated then 
 and afterwards. 
 
 " For five years I lived an ocean robber 
 passed through the thousand dangers which 
 peril a lawless life ; gained, at last, the 
 summit of ruffianly ambition, and became the 
 captain of a pirate crew. In the history of 
 these years, there is no villany which man 
 imagines, that I had left uncommitted. Many 
 a rich bark was plundered, and yet no tongue 
 betrayed the secret ; for sunken ships and 
 murdered seamen followed each deed of rapine ; 
 and that they never reached a port, was falsely 
 ascribed to storm or some maritime calamity. 
 Would you believe it? stained with blood- 
 guilty of incredible atrocities dead to every 
 impulse of humanity with the disposition of a 
 vampire, and the malignity of a fiend in the 
 remembrance of one foul deed, an hundred 
 fouler, if possible, were forgotten. The night 
 when Rodrigo was carried by assault seemed 
 branded on my memory. When I caroused 
 with my ruffian comrades, every glass seemed 
 
THE OUTCAST. 41 
 
 bright ; but in mine, blood drops were floating 
 on the surface ; and at midnight, whether I 
 watched beside the helmsman, or rested in my 
 cabin, two mutilated women, with long black 
 hair and features writhed in mortal agony, 
 lay on the deck plank where I stood, or swung 
 at my feet with every movement of the hammock. 
 
 " At last, crime and cruelty appeared to lose 
 excitement ; a strange fancy crossed my brain ; 
 a longing after home suddenly returned; and 
 I determined to take an early opportunity of 
 abandoning a rover's life, and try whether in 
 scenes of quiet, there was any peace reserved 
 for me. I had amassed ample wealth; for all 
 the more valuable portions of our booty, gold, 
 plate, and jewels, were intrusted to my keeping ; 
 and it was easy, as commander, to concert some 
 plan by which I might appropriate all to myself, 
 and desert the ship and crew without suspicion. 
 Accordingly, I packed the whole in parcels of 
 convenient size, directing the schooner's course 
 for Cuba, to water and refit, an order joyfully 
 obeyed ; for my companions, surfeited with 
 plunder, were only anxious to obtain the power 
 
42 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 of dissipating it, as recklessly as it had been 
 collected. Such were their intentions ; mine 
 were different; and fortune marred both. 
 
 " It was a calm, dark night; at sunset we had 
 got soundings, and before the next evening should 
 come on, we calculated on making land, and in 
 a few hours afterwards, moor the schooner in 
 an unfrequented creek, where we generally over- 
 hauled the vessel and refitted for a cruize. 
 
 " Many a scheme relating to future life was con- 
 templated, but always some damning doubt arose, 
 and conscience whispered that in this world the 
 murderer seeks rest in vain. Dark forebodings 
 crossed my mind the harbingers of coming evil. 
 I drank deeply, but they were not to be drowned 
 in wine. I strove to sleep ; an hundred corpses 
 danced around the cot. I sought the deck, to 
 try if the night breeze would cool the fever of 
 my brain ; but wherever I moved, the mutilated 
 victims of Rodrigo were ever at my side. At 
 last, the darkness began to yield to day. Oh ! 
 how interminable that short night appeared. 
 Morning dawned gloomily, and a dense mist hung 
 over the ocean and shrouded the ship in vapour. 
 
THE OUTCAST. 43 
 
 The thickness of the weather alarmed me ; we 
 were now in the track of British cruisers, and 
 safety required that on our part a bright look- 
 out should be kept. I determined, therefore, to 
 remain on deck myself until the fog should clear 
 away ; and lighting a cigar, took my usual stand 
 beside the helmsman. Suddenly, faint sounds, 
 like strokes on a ship's bell when the watch 
 is changed, came stealing over the water. I 
 started, and asked if any but myself had heard 
 them; but all answered in the negative. The mist 
 began to disperse ; the sun shone out ; the morn- 
 ing breeze freshened ; for a mile around, the sea 
 was clear the vapour, in huge fleeces, rolling off 
 before the wind. I swept the horizon suspiciously 
 with my glass, and within a cloud-bank to the 
 southward, fancied that I discovered something 
 darker than the mist. In a few minutes, another 
 portion of the fog rolled off, and, by heaven ! not 
 two miles distant, and dead to windward, a brig 
 was under easy sail, and her low black hull and 
 raking masts told that she was any thing but a 
 trader. 
 
 " The alarm was given : in a minute every man 
 
44 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 was on deck, and sail was made upon the schooner. 
 We hoped at first that, owing to the thickness 
 of the weather, we had escaped the stranger's 
 observation, and might yet steal off to leeward. 
 But that hope was vain ; our helm was scarcely 
 up till the stranger changed her course and 
 bore down upon us and the rapidity with which 
 canvas was crowded on her to the trucks, told 
 that her crew was numerous. No mist remained ; 
 the sun poured a glorious flood of light over sea 
 and sky not a sail was on the ocean far as sight 
 could range, except the stranger and ourselves. 
 The breeze freshened ; she brought it down, and 
 overhauled us rapidly : half an hour would bring 
 her alongside for two feet we sailed, she went 
 three. 
 
 "As yet neither vessel had showed their colours. 
 We hoisted the Colombian flag, but the stranger 
 did not notice it, but held a steady course. Our 
 situation seemed hopeless certain death if cap- 
 tured, and scarcely a chance of escape. Still it 
 was possible that we might cripple the stranger 
 and get off ; or, he might be a rover like ourselves, 
 for we heard that under the title of privateers and 
 
THE OUTCAST. 45 
 
 slavers such were common in these seas. We took 
 a desperate resolution, hauled down Colombian 
 colours, and sent aloft the skull and cross-bones. 
 All eyes were now turned on the stranger. In a 
 minute ' the meteor flag of England ' was flying 
 at his mast-head ! and we felt that our doom was 
 sealed. 
 
 " There was but one chance of escaping left to 
 cross the stranger's bows, and trust to our superior 
 sailing on a wind. The manoeuvre was tried the 
 brig as promptly bracing up three points to cut us 
 off. We commenced firing from our traversing- 
 gun, but the stranger did not return a shot. We 
 sent a two-and-thirty through his foresail, and 
 splintered his quarter-boat with a second. A 
 third passed harmlessly between his masts. It 
 was the last shot we fired. 
 
 " He was now well on our starboard-bow and 
 within good pistol rarge, when, luffing up, he 
 delivered his broadside with beautiful precision, 
 as every gun was brought to bear. His fire was 
 directed at spars and sails, and his grape com- 
 pletely unrigged us. Shifting his helm, he ran 
 his jib-boom between our mast and fore-stay. 
 
46 RA.MBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 threw forty boarders on our deck, and cleared 
 it in three minutes. Some of my scoundrels 
 fought hard ; more of them cowed and ran 
 below. Twenty were left upon the deck with 
 cleft skulls and the remainder, chained two and 
 two, were carried to Cuba, and delivered to the 
 Spanish authorities. 
 
 " There the judicial process was short. Little 
 proof was required of our guilt as we were taken 
 fighting under the black flag, and several scoun- 
 drels had saved life by becoming approvers. We 
 were all condemned. Half were sent to the mines 
 for life, and the remainder were doomed to undergo 
 a capital punishment. 
 
 " Manifold as our depredations had been, they 
 were represented as being ten times greater than 
 they were, and every vessel that had foundered at 
 sea for years before was asserted and believed to 
 have been destroyed by the crew of the pirate 
 schooner. As a terror to malefactors, it was 
 arranged by the proper authorities that the scene 
 of punishment should embrace the chief towns and 
 seaports ; and accordingly we were sentenced to be 
 hanged in detail, and the relative numbers fur- 
 
THE OUTCAST. 47 
 
 nished to each place were nicely apportioned with 
 a fitting respect to its extent and importance. 
 We started on our last tour under the escort of a 
 military guard; and as every sinner had a priest 
 allotted for his especial consolation, the clergy 
 formed a striking feature in the cortege ; and, 
 indeed, our general appearance was admitted to 
 have been respectable. As this itinerating assizes 
 was to terminate with three executions at Carthe- 
 gena, the lions were reserved to the last ; and 
 while the smaller fry were strung up in villages 
 and fishing-towns as we went along, the greatest 
 villains namely, the mate, the gunner, and 
 myself were retained, out of compliment to 
 the city, as well as to give to the finish of the 
 affair the eclat it so well deserved. 
 
 " On the last night of my earthly sojourn I was 
 flung into a dungeon in the public jail, loaded with 
 irons, and tormented by the exhortations of a 
 drunken priest. In the plaza before the building 
 a gang of negroes were at work erecting a lofty 
 scaffold ; and the task appeared a pleasant one, if 
 one might form an opinion from their merriment 
 and songs. On a sudden the stroke of axe and 
 
48 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 hammer was suspended a wild din arose shots 
 were rapidly discharged men huzzaed torches 
 flared and all seemed hurry and alarm. Presently, 
 the populace surrounded the prison, massacred the 
 guard, and, in the true spirit of mob justice, exe- 
 cuted half-a-dozen political offenders on the gallows 
 intended for our accommodation. They were also 
 graciously pleased to make a general jail-delivery, 
 in which act of clemency we were duly included ; 
 and while the mate and gunner became a valuable 
 addition to their body, I slipped away towards the 
 harbour, stole the bundle of a drunken sailor, 
 dressed myself in his clothes, launched a canoe, and 
 rowed on board an American ship, already under 
 weigh, and quitting the anchorage in alarm. I 
 afterwards learned at New York, that the popular 
 outbreak had been suppressed next morning, and 
 that my companions were retaken and hanged ; and 
 all they had profited by the intervention of the mob 
 was the enjoyment of a night of drunken liberty, 
 during which they demolished fifty houses, and 
 murdered the proprietors for daring to assert that 
 a Don Jose somebody would make a better presi- 
 dent than some Don Pedro with a longer name. 
 
THE OUTCAST. 49 
 
 | 
 
 "My history draws near a close. I came to 
 England as a man before the mast; and I, who 
 had expected to have landed possessor of ten 
 thousand pounds, debarked upon the pier at Liver- 
 pool owner of just ten dollars. That sum carried 
 me to the metropolis ; and two years since I found 
 myself in London my kit, comprised within the 
 folds of a pocket handkerchief my cash, a solitary 
 shilling. 
 
 " To find some scoundrels like myself was a first 
 endeavour, and he who seeks for such in London 
 will rarely lose his labour. I had herded with 
 outcasts half my life none knows the gradations 
 of crime better and I have no hesitation in saying, 
 that in villany my new associates, three in number, 
 belonged to the highest order of the felonious. 
 They had been originally cracksmen and pick- 
 pockets, but exchanged burglary for a safer and 
 more lucrative employment. They were now 
 purveyors to the hospitals professional resur- 
 rection-men. 
 
 " I had long been the robber of the living, and I 
 had no compunction in now becoming a despoiler 
 of the dead. The churchyard, indeed, proved an 
 
 D 
 
50 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 El Dorado, and from it, for eighteen months, 
 I obtained ample resources to support my low 
 debaucheries. I easily obtained a mastery over 
 the gang for all were sneaking scoundrels 
 fellows who would drug a man to death, or stab 
 a sleeper in the dark. One and all had felt my 
 arm by turn ; and once, when in a drunken broil, 
 the whole attacked me, in a minute they were 
 spread across the floor, and one of them all but 
 qualified for the surgeons. They swore vengeance, 
 and whatever oaths the villains broke, that one 
 they kept religiously. 
 
 " The darkest hour of my varied fortunes 
 remains only to be told; for compared with it, 
 every suffering I had endured, and every calamity 
 which befel me, were trifling. Many a scar upon 
 my person attest that I did not pass unscathed 
 through perilous adventures in which hundreds of 
 my comrades perished. What were they all ? mere 
 scratches on the bark of a tree whose sap and 
 strength were sound and vigorous as it had ever 
 been. I had no reason to complain. From my 
 filthy calling all but the lowest in the grade of 
 guilt turned in disgust. I trafficked in the dead ; 
 
THE OUTCAST. 51 
 
 what then? the trade was lucrative I was a 
 monster not a man and although it was the 
 produce of human carrion, I cared not ; it served 
 the purposes of vulgar dissipation as well as 
 money more reputably obtained. 
 
 " The twilight of a January day had set in the 
 lamps were lighted and I was sitting at the tap- 
 room fire of a low pot-house, which none but 
 thieves and vagabonds frequented. Here my 
 companions and I generally met to concert our 
 churchyard robberies and I had been but a few 
 minutes in the place, until my three confederates 
 entered the apartment. 
 
 " c Sailor/ the name by which I was always 
 addressed c we have been in search of you ; a 
 nice job for to-night ! I met the chap from 
 Guy's, in the Borough-road this morning, and he 
 offered to stand twelve pounds for a fresh stiff-un, 
 and gave me these five bob earnest.' 
 
 He threw the silver on the table, called for 
 drink, and when the bar-maid left the room, he 
 thus continued 
 
 " ' Luck's with us, too. The smasher met a 
 parish funeral, followed it unobserved, and marked 
 
52 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 the grave to an inch. There's not within thirty 
 
 miles a ground so easily worked in ; d n me, 
 
 I have got three of a night there, as readily as I 
 could pick up stale fish in Billingsgate/ 
 
 "He named a village churchyard. 
 
 " c Sailor, we'll start at ten. You'll find us with 
 the cart and tools in Smithfield. Now, mind the 
 hour ; don't lush too heavy and be sure not to 
 keep us waiting, and when we deliver the goods, 
 why then we'll drink till daylight.' 
 
 " My ruffian comrades left the tap, and I smoked 
 and slept, and drank, until the clock chimed three 
 quarters, and told me the hour of meeting was 
 at hand. 
 
 " In Smithfield I found my companions and a 
 tax cart. I jumped in, and away we drove. The 
 night was dark as pitch; and as it was windy, 
 with a drizzling rain, there were few persons out 
 of doors as we passed through the outskirts of the 
 metropolis. One of the gang stopped with the 
 horse and chaise in a lonely lane ; we took the 
 implements for digging, a dark lantern and a 
 tarpaulin to wrap the corpse in, and crossing a 
 field, scaled the churchyard wall, and instantly 
 
THE OUTCAST. 53 
 
 commenced our work. The smasher found his 
 marks and a hole was sunk at the head of the 
 grave, by which the body was speedily extracted 
 from the coffin. 
 
 " The remains thus violated were those of a 
 female, for as the shroud was rudely torn away, 
 a quantity of long black hair fell loosely over her 
 neck and bosom. As we wrapped it in the cloth, 
 the faint light that streamed from the narrow 
 aperture of the lantern fell for a moment on the 
 features of the dead. Great God ! the lineaments 
 were the same she, too, had died in agony and 
 there lay, if face and figure might be credited, 
 the younger lady of Kodrigo, just as twenty 
 years before she had breathed her last and, 
 stranger coincidence ! that night was the 19th of 
 January the memorable anniversary of the storm. 
 I started back in horror. 
 
 " < Hush !' said one of my companions, * I 
 thought I heard a noise.' 
 
 " He listened for a moment. 
 
 " < By there's some one near us ; up with 
 
 the body, sailor and the smasher and myself will 
 see that all's right behind you.' 
 
54 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " ' That corpse shall never touch my back/ I 
 replied doggedly. < Off, you miserable cowards 
 I will remain behind.' 
 
 " They raised the body and moved a few paces 
 towards the wall, when suddenly a voice shouted, 
 an alarm was given, and a prompt discharge of 
 fire-arms answered it. My comrades dropped 
 their prey and fled. I followed more slowly ; for 
 the whole charge of a gun loaded with slugs, had 
 penetrated my breast and shoulder. I reached the 
 lane only to find that the scoundrels had left me 
 to my fate ; for I heard their chaise-wheels on 
 the high road. 
 
 " I struggled on and at last, faint with loss of 
 blood, I reached the hospital, where the porter 
 was in waiting to receive the expected corpse, but 
 in place of a dead subject received a wounded 
 patient. I was undressed; the injury declared 
 most dangerous ; many of the slugs could not be 
 extracted, and in the morning it was decided that 
 my arm must be taken off, and accordingly, it 
 was amputated at the shoulder. 
 
 " On my recovery, I felt that the curse of 
 heaven had overtaken me at last, and that the 
 
THE OUTCAST. 55 
 
 hour of retribution had arrived. Through 
 many a perilous trial, my personal superiority 
 over common men had carried me in safety 
 while meaner villains, dreading my herculean 
 strength, feared and submitted to my will. 
 But now that mastery was lost I was a maimed 
 wretch one who might become an object for 
 contempt, but never could excite apprehension, 
 not even in the mean cowards with whom I had 
 lately herded, and with whom, from necessity, 
 I must for the future consort. When I crawled 
 from the hospital, and sought to renew my 
 connexion with the gang, they rejected me 
 with scorn, laughed at my misfortune, told 
 me to turn beggar, and flung some coppers in 
 derision on the floor. They showed me gold 
 and bank notes boasted that their trade was 
 now indeed worth following and hinted that 
 they had found a method by which their foul 
 traffic could be carried on, without that personal 
 risk which formerly had attended it. By heaven ! 
 a dark suspicion crossed me at the moment. 
 I made inquiries at the hospitals I coupled 
 facts with circumstances and my belief is 
 
56 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 fixed, that the living and not the dead are now 
 the victims. I am on the trail and before 
 many hours elapse, I will know the truth; 
 and then will I not avenge myself? But I 
 have detained you, gentlemen, too long it 
 will be my last trespass. In this world, we 
 are not likely to encounter each other; and 
 as to the next but no matter we must not 
 speak of that." 
 
 "We were, indeed, sick of the felon revelations 
 we had listened to, and offered the outcast some 
 silver, which he received and pocketed. 
 
 " Well, I suppose the sweeper is by this 
 time sober, and I must return his tools and 
 then for vengeance. Oh ! that I could but see 
 those villains strung up before I went myself! 
 Now for their haunt." 
 
 The outcast threw the besom across his 
 shoulder ; bade us good night ; and strode across 
 the square ; and we proceeded to the tavern, 
 marvelling how immeasurably the romance of 
 real life outstrips the wildest creations of the 
 fancy. 
 
 Months passed ; my friend and I often crossed 
 
THE OUTCAST. 57 
 
 Leicester Square and never without recalling 
 our singular adventure with the outcast but 
 never met him afterwards. We inquired of 
 the sweeper he could give us no informa- 
 tion, except, that one evening when he was 
 drunk, a one-armed man took his besom and 
 supplied his place for an hour or two. It 
 appeared, also, that he was a nameless man 
 and the few who knew him, described him 
 merely as "the sailor." 
 
 A year rolled over, and England was astounded 
 by horrible disclosures which proved that crimes 
 unknown before had been perpetrated extensively. 
 The discovery was accidental ; and a mystery 
 hung round these foul deeds, which occasioned 
 more absorbing interest. Rumour was rife 
 exaggerated statements circulated through the 
 metropolis and it was reported, that in the 
 anxiety of scientific research, professional men 
 had been careless regarding the persons they 
 employed, and, blind to appearances which 
 should have produced alarm even in the ignorant. 
 It was impossible to hazard a conjecture as to 
 the extent to which this trade in blood had been 
 
 D 2 
 
58 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 carried. Outcasts from society the drunken 
 and the dissolute were generally believed to be 
 the victims. They came freely at the murderous 
 invitation they drank were drugged and done 
 to death they disappeared and none inquired 
 after them for crime had left them friendless. 
 It was said, however, that others, and more to 
 be lamented, had fallen into the snares of those 
 monsters and perished in their filthy den; and 
 there is, unfortunately, much reason for believing, 
 that the rumour was not without foundation.* 
 
 Happily for society, the detection of the 
 criminals was followed by capital conviction, 
 
 * A widow lady connected with families of high respectability 
 in Ireland, had removed to the neighbourhood of London, a 
 few months before the Burking atrocities were discovered. Her 
 eldest child, a boy of excellent promise, suddenly disappeared, 
 and every effort to discover him, dead or living, proved una- 
 vailing. He had been observed looking at the window of a 
 print shop at an early hour of the day ; and no eye had seen 
 him after. The most extensive inquiries were set afoot but 
 what his fate was still remains a mystery. When the horrible 
 traffic of Bishop and his associates was afterwards revealed, the 
 distracted mother felt assured that her child had been among 
 their victims; and within a twelvemonth, she died broken- 
 hearted, under a settled conviction that her beloved one had 
 been slaughtered by these monsters. 
 
THE OUTCAST. 59 
 
 and the wretches were executed at the Old Bailey. 
 It rarely happens that a malefactor undergoes 
 the extreme penalty of the law without obtaining 
 sympathy from some. It was computed that 
 thirty thousand persons witnessed the Burkers' 
 death and from that mighty mass, every sound 
 that issued was an execration. 
 
 It may be supposed that this criminal occur- 
 rence with me excited an unusual interest, when 
 I recalled to memory the singular adventure 
 with the outcast in Leicester Square. I saw the 
 ruffians hanged and witnessed it with satisfaction. 
 I am not naturally indifferent to human suffering. 
 I hate to see death deliberately effected. I 
 remember being present at the execution of a 
 deserter, and for several days afterwards, I felt 
 myself uncomfortable ; and yet, within that 
 week, I saw an hundred comrades fall at my 
 side, and slept on the battle-ground surrounded 
 by the dead ay and slept soundly too. 
 
 Two or three days after the murderers had 
 undergone the penalty of the law, some trifling 
 business brought me into Lambeth, and a heavy 
 rain unexpectedly came on, and obliged me 
 
60 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 to seek shelter. I entered the first public-house 
 that presented itself, and the landlord, observing 
 that I was of better appearance than the ordinary 
 frequenters of his tap-room, politely introduced 
 me to his parlour. There I found several young 
 men indulging in comfortable liquids, and in a 
 learned disquisition upon a subject which then 
 engrossed every order of society, namely, the 
 death and delinquencies of the wretches who had 
 murdered " the Italian boy." From the pro- 
 fessional style of their conversation, I easily 
 ascertained that the party were medical students. 
 
 " What a devil of a hurry, Tom, your friends 
 were in last Monday" said one. "Egad, they 
 seemed more anxious to have the job completed, 
 even than Jack Ketch himself." 
 
 " Faith, no wonder," replied the second ; " their 
 reception was any thing but flattering. I never 
 can forget the savage yell, which the mob raised 
 the moment that Bishop showed himself." 
 
 " It was some satisfaction," observed a third, 
 " to see the scoundrel choked. He did me out 
 of half a sovereign." 
 
 "Well, I took care he should not do me. 
 
THE OUTCAST. 61 
 
 When he brought the one-armed chap to the 
 hospital, I stopped a guinea from the price, as 
 an equivalent for the sailor wanting a claw." 
 
 " The rain seems lighter," remarked another ; 
 " let us be off." 
 
 All rose and took their hats but one. Observing 
 to his companions that he had < neither coat 
 nor business,' he said he would continue where 
 he was and, in another moment, the student 
 and myself were left tete d tete. 
 
 Short as the strangers' conversation had been, 
 I heard enough to rouse suspicion. < The 
 sailor,' 6 the one-armed,' could these remarks 
 have allusion to the outcast? I addressed the 
 student, and little prefatory explanation was 
 required until he set every doubt at rest. His 
 narrative ran thus : 
 
 " Shortly before the murders perpetrated by 
 
 the Burkers were discovered " v he stopped, 
 
 and looked into a memorandum-book " in fact, 
 it was upon the night of the 19th of January." 
 
 I started. By heaven ! the anniversary of 
 the storm of Ciudad Rodrigo ! 
 
 " He had been returning," he said, "to his 
 
62 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 lodgings in the Borough at a late hour, when 
 he was accosted on London Bridge by one of 
 the criminals, who, addressing him by name, 
 told him he could be supplied with a subject 
 immediately. A price was proposed, and agreed 
 to ; and, within two hours afterwards, a body 
 was delivered to the porter of the hospital the 
 money was paid and the man who brought it 
 hurried off. 
 
 " I went," continued the student, " early 
 next morning ; and found that the singular 
 appearance of the corpse had excited as much 
 curiosity, as the circumstances attendant upon 
 its delivery, had caused suspicion. The scars of 
 numerous wounds were visible. The right arm 
 had been recently removed and livid marks 
 appeared upon the throat, as if the deceased, 
 immediately before death, had been engaged in 
 some strugglfe or affray. The porter remarked 
 that the body was warm when the ruffians 
 brought it in, and yet the hair was wet. It 
 was quite apparent that the corpse had never 
 been inhumed and, on a more searching exami- 
 nation, laudanum was detected in the stomach. 
 
THE OUTCAST. 63 
 
 In a word, sir, the man was burked and from 
 many reasons, with which it is unnecessary to 
 trouble you, I believe that at the time I met 
 the scoundrel on the bridge, his victim was 
 then a living man, but buried in drunken sleep, 
 and ready for the murderer." 
 
 As he concluded, one of his companions re- 
 turned, whispered him, and both retired, leaving 
 the apartment to myself. 
 
 " Great God !" I ejaculated for I was thinking 
 aloud a foolish habit, by the way " Did that 
 fearful man, before whom the boldest spirits 
 quailed the fiercest on a rover's deck the first 
 to mount the flaming breach of Ciudad Rodrigo 
 he, whom I had seen heading the grenadiers, when 
 the eighty-eighth burst through the village of 
 Fuentes, derouting the French guard, as they 
 would have scattered rabble in a fair did he 
 die thus ? smothered in drunken insensibility 
 by a sneaking murderer, whom, mutilated as 
 he was, he could have crushed to annihilation, 
 as I splinter this fragile glass." 
 
 " Stop, sir, for God's sake," exclaimed the bar- 
 maid, who, unknown to me, had entered the 
 
64 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 parlour, and was listening to my soliloquy "That 
 glass will require a shilling to replace it." 
 
 The warning came too late ; for, shivered in a 
 thousand pieces, it was already sparkling on the 
 hearth-rug. I satisfied the maid amply for the 
 damage, she handed me my hat and cane 
 bowed me out and I went slowly towards my 
 hotel, " wrapped in melancholy musing." 
 
 " Strange," thought I, under what shapes and 
 circumstances death will at last surprise us ! I 
 have read that men, after circumnavigating the 
 globe, came home and perished in a rivulet. But 
 to be smothered in a water-cask done to death 
 by a dealer in human carrion a vampire a 
 wretch a monster to be burked ! villain as the 
 outcast was, his fate was horrible." 
 
 " Your narrative, colonel," observed the law- 
 yer, when the commander had concluded his 
 story, " is indeed a startling detail a pointed 
 example of crime followed, slowly but surely, 
 by retribution a demon life ending in a death 
 
THE OUTCAST. 65 
 
 of violence, and under circumstances the most 
 disgusting. How fearfully the wretched existence 
 of that sinful man must have been tormented even 
 by the imaginary terrors attendant on the memory 
 of his guilt! And yet, I fancy that conscience 
 imposes more punishment on the brave, than 
 superstition inflicts upon the ignorant. Accident 
 placed me beside the death-bed of a secret suf- 
 ferer I witnessed the scene that closed upon a 
 broken heart the parting of a spirit too proud 
 to own the agony that seared and withered it. 
 Were the hour not too late I would briefly 
 relate an adventure." 
 
 "Late!" exclaimed the colonel; " why it 
 wants a full hour of twelve and who, upon a 
 night like this, would think of bed before he 
 borrowed largely from the small hours ? Jack, 
 stick to thy vocation. The bowl requires reple- 
 nishing and now, sir, we are ready for your 
 tale." 
 
 The lawyer bowed, and thus proceeded with 
 his story : 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 
 
 " Is there no remedy?" SHAKSPEAKE. 
 
 I KNOW no greater luxury on earth, than a 
 temporary retreat from the noise and hurry of 
 the town. The mind, harassed by the cares 
 of trade, or the difficulties of an arduous pro- 
 fession the eye wearied by the eternal sameness 
 of a crowded street the ear dulled with cease- 
 less turmoil all predispose the man who " steals 
 from the world," to enjoy with exquisite sen- 
 sations his brief season of relaxation. 
 
 To me, the denizen of an Inn of Court 
 the occupant of gloomy chambers the " doomed 
 one" to a profession for which I have no fancy 
 this occasional retirement is delicious. To refresh 
 the eye with field and forest to rest the ear 
 with rustic quietude to lose care and thought 
 for a season however short, have proved the 
 sunniest periods of a life, fevered as mine has 
 
68 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 been, by the difficulties attendant on a profession 
 so embarrassing and exhausting as the law. 
 
 Among the scenes I loved to visit, the little 
 inn at Everton has been a favourite retreat. 
 The picturesque appearance of this secluded 
 hamlet its antique church and modest cemetery 
 its green hedge-rows and sparkling rivulet, 
 all seemed to invite a wearied spirit like 
 mine to seek and find there the repose it panted 
 for. 
 
 But there were charms other than those 
 of rural solitude, which attracted me more 
 warmly to The Woodman. Annette's smile 
 welcomed me when I left the city Annette's 
 voice fell like music on my ear her hand, I 
 fancied, smoothed my pillow her form flitted 
 around me as I dreamed and I, cold and reck- 
 less of adventitious charms as I was, thrilled 
 with sensations hitherto unfelt, when gazing on 
 the unconscious beauty of this gentle and 
 unsophisticated girl. 
 
 It was late in spring when, after a long absence, 
 I revisited The Woodman. The delighted 
 smile and gentle reproach that welcomed me, 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 69 
 
 proved that Annette was gratified at my return. 
 I regretted that my sojourn was limited to a 
 night and when evening came, and I set out 
 for my favourite haunt, I entered the village 
 churchyard with feelings that required its 
 soothing influence to compose. But what was 
 the beauty of the inn to me ? I had no time 
 to waste on woman, for years of anxious and 
 sustained exertion must elapse before I should be 
 enabled to retire from the drudgery of my pro- 
 fession. 'Twere worse than madness to encourage 
 dreams which never could be realized and I 
 determined to conquer my latent love, and fly 
 from Annette and The Woodman. 
 
 The sun touched the verge of the horizon, 
 and the yew trees flung their shadows over 
 graves whose simple memorials told of the 
 humblest of the villagers. At some distance 
 from the rest, I observed one little mound, 
 and no stone recorded who the being was whose 
 ashes rested underneath. Doubtless it was the 
 grave of a stranger, and I fell into a train of 
 thought, which the approach of an old man and 
 interesting child disturbed. 
 
70 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " And why did they bury her there?" said 
 the youthful querist. 
 
 The old man's reply was inaudible. 
 
 "And are people who die for love, placed 
 thus apart from others ?" she continued. 
 
 The old man smiled. " The disease, my 
 child, is unfrequent ; and few have been so 
 unfortunate as the lovely being who sleeps under 
 yon green turf." 
 
 My curiosity was excited and while the child 
 turned aside to pull the wild flowers with which 
 the graves were thickly sprinkled, I learned the 
 melancholy story of her who occupied this 
 solitary resting-place. 
 
 She was young, beautiful, gifted, and born 
 to fortune, but accident robbed her of that 
 wealth, to which, from infancy, she had believed 
 herself the heiress. She bore the visitation 
 patiently, and sought the humble occupation of 
 a governess and talents and accomplishments 
 which had been cultivated for amusement, were 
 exercised to obtain an honourable independence. 
 
 Unfortunately, a young officer was a relative 
 of the family where Emily resided, and conse- 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 71 
 
 quently, a frequent visitor at the house. He saw 
 the beautiful girl he loved her and he was 
 beloved. Favoured by the circumstances of 
 his intimacy, he pressed his suit with ardour, 
 and when the regiment was unexpectedly or- 
 dered to the Continent, that incident produced 
 a full disclosure of Emily's attachment. Their 
 vows were solemnly interchanged and on the 
 last agonizing evening before he sailed, Emily, 
 yielding to his passionate request, granted him 
 a midnight interview. Alas ! that meeting proved 
 to her a fatal one. 
 
 He went four months passed rapidly away 
 Waterloo was fought and won and among those 
 who fell was Emily's lover. 
 
 Many a heart was agonized when the fatal 
 death-list reached England but she, the lost one, 
 had a double grief to mourn. The consequences 
 of her hour of indiscretion would shortly 
 become apparent, and shame and sorrow were too 
 much to bear together. Maddened by blighted 
 love and an inevitable exposure, in her frenzy 
 the means of self-destruction were procured, 
 and Emily, the young the beautiful the 
 
72 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 gifted being perished miserably by her own 
 hand. 
 
 " They placed her here," said the old man ; 
 " and while yonder costly marble is raised 
 above a mass of age and deformity, the green 
 turf alone covers the mortal remains of that 
 lovely and ill-starred girl." 
 
 He wiped away a tear, took the child's 
 hand, and bade me a courteous adieu. I staid 
 for a short time beside the grave, and left the 
 scene of death filled with pity for the beautiful 
 victim of imprudent love. 
 
 Months passed, summer succeeded spring, I 
 began to feel my resolution waver, and wished 
 to see Annette once more. Annette was not 
 to be easily forgotten. Hers was not the florid 
 comeliness that distinguishes a vulgar beauty 
 every look and movement were feminine and 
 elegant, and nature had moulded her a gentle- 
 woman, although the sphere she occupied was 
 humble. The witching smile that played about 
 her mouth, the soft expression of eyes of darkest 
 hazle, the silver voice, that excellent thing in 
 woman, all haunted my imagination; and while 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 73 
 
 prudence whispered me to avoid her, resolution 
 failed, and on a fine June evening I drove once 
 more to The Woodman at Everton. 
 
 When Annette heard my voice, she came for- 
 ward to welcome me. 
 
 " Ah ! Mr. Mowbray how did I offend you? 
 You stole away without bidding me good-bye." 
 
 I held her hand in mine I saw her eye sparkle, 
 the colour flash upon her cheek, and muttered a 
 confused apology. 
 
 " Well, I am so happy to see you," she conti- 
 nued ; " and it was but this morning, that I spoke 
 of you to the captain." 
 
 I started a thrill of jealousy shot through my 
 breast. 
 
 " The captain! who is he, Annette?" 
 
 " Oh ! you will so like him," said the blushing 
 girl ; " that is, when you know him for he appears 
 cold and haughty at first, but he will not be so to 
 you." 
 
 " To me, Annette ! I have no ambition to 
 obtain the acquaintance of a stranger ; and believe 
 me, I shall not unnecessarily expose myself to the 
 hauteur of any man." 
 
 E 
 
74 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS^ 
 
 "Well, well invalids are always irritable, and 
 he is very, very ill. You must know him. There 
 is something about him so noble and interesting 
 when he chooses to be so, that none can be near 
 him without liking him." 
 
 The animated expression of her face while she 
 spoke of the Unknown, made me miserable. I 
 cursed " the captain" in my heart, and determined, 
 that in coldness and repulsion I should be at least 
 his equal. 
 
 The day passed over ; my rival did not appear ; 
 and when I left The Woodman for my evening 
 walk, he had not left his chamber. The church- 
 yard, of course, was visited I stood beside the 
 grave of the unhappy lady, and her melancholy 
 story afforded me a theme for sad reflection. 
 
 It was evening when I reached "mine inn," 
 and as I passed the parlour window a sight met 
 my eye that brought the colour to my cheek. 
 Upon a sofa, a tall and noble-looking man was 
 extended, Avhile Annette leaned over him, and 
 with marked assiduity placed cushions for his 
 head, and arranged his military cloak. I could 
 not see his features, as his face was turned from 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 75 
 
 me, but he held her hand in his, and she seemed 
 in no hurry to withdraw it. 
 
 I was tortured with rage and jealousy. Should 
 I fly at once and leave Annette to my rival ? 
 No. She was but a woman, and why should she 
 have power to make me wretched? I must I 
 would subdue my feelings and absence should 
 teach me to forget her. Pride urged me to be 
 resolute but still I felt a weakness of the heart 
 that told me it were better to avoid her, and I 
 waited till she left the room before I entered it. 
 
 The opening of the door caused the stranger to 
 look up ; he scarcely, however, noticed my en- 
 trance, and his eyes fell quickly on a paper he had 
 been perusing. I sate down at the window a 
 quarter of an hour elapsed and we did not 
 exchange a word. 
 
 While this unsocial state of things continued, a 
 third personage joined us ; a forward, self-sufficient, 
 over-dressed young man, who seemed to stand on 
 excellent terms with himself. He stopped beside 
 the stranger, and asked, in a drawling and affected 
 voice, after "the last night's debate." The in- 
 valid slowly raised his eyes, bestowed a look of 
 
76 
 
 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 supercilious indifference on the inquirer, and, 
 without deigning to reply, resumed his investiga- 
 tion of the newspaper. 
 
 Again we were left together. Presently An- 
 nette came in to ask what the captain would 
 have for supper. 
 
 " This is the gentleman I spoke of," she said in 
 a whisper, directing her expressive eye towards me. 
 
 Instantly the stranger threw aside the paper 
 " Mr. Mowbray," he said, " must pardon my 
 inattention I was not aware my pretty Annette's 
 friend was in the room. That forward puppy 
 chafed me. We, invalids, are somewhat testy, 
 and ' to be pestered by a popinjay* would flurry a 
 philosopher. Will you permit me to share your 
 supper ?" 
 
 I was astonished. The cold and withering look 
 with which he repelled the advances of the citizen, 
 had given place to an expression of singular 
 urbanity. His voice was soft as woman's ; his 
 manner, bland and winning ; I felt irresistibly 
 impelled to meet his advances, and encourage an 
 intimacy with a man, whom but five minutes since 
 I had looked on with aversion. 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 77 
 
 Our tete-a-tete confirmed the feelings his first 
 overtures had given rise to. The stranger's con- 
 versation was brilliant and intellectual. He had 
 been much about the world, and in his wanderings 
 he had found no barrenness. I looked upon his 
 countenance once it must have been strikingly 
 handsome, but the face was faded and care-worn, 
 and its varied lines betrayed the workings of 
 a bosom, where pride, and grief, and many a 
 stronger passion, had for years careered. At times, 
 however, the brow unbent, the eye flashed with 
 intelligence, a smile of exquisite sweetness played 
 around the mouth, while the perfect intonation of 
 the sweetest voice I ever listened to, rendered his 
 conversation fascinating. 
 
 One thing struck me as being unaccountable. 
 The Unknown was professedly an invalid, and yet 
 he drank freely as if his health was perfect. As 
 night advanced, a hectic overspread cheeks hitherto 
 so wan and colourless ; and when I took his hand 
 at parting, I found it burning in my grasp. 
 
 I staid two days longer at The Woodman. The 
 stranger expressed his pleasure at my sojourn and 
 although he never rose till evening, we passed 
 
78 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 many hours together. With me he seemed to 
 throw aside his coldness, as supported on my arm 
 we walked slowly through some of the rustic 
 avenues which issued from the village. These 
 excursions were necessarily short. Notwithstand- 
 ing his erect and easy carriage probably a result of 
 military habitude his limbs could scarcely bear 
 him through ; and it was too evident that an 
 unbroken spirit contended vainly with an ex- 
 hausted constitution. 
 
 I had scarcely been a week in town before a 
 note with the Everton post-mark reached me. 
 It was from the stranger and contained a pressing 
 request that I should dine with him on an early 
 day. The billet bore no name, and was merely 
 subscribed with an initial. I required little 
 inducement to visit The Woodman; and accord- 
 ingly, the invitation was accepted. 
 
 Annette received me with her customary 
 kindness ; but when I named the stranger, her 
 eyes filled. 
 
 " Ah ! Mr. Mowbray, the captain's dying. 
 Since you left Everton he has declined rapidly. 
 I have often pressed him to call in a physician, 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 79 
 
 but in vain. Hush ! I hear his step upon the 
 stairs, and you will no doubt perceive an alter- 
 ation for the worse." 
 
 While she was still speaking the door unclosed, 
 and the stranger entered. Oh God ! how 
 changed. The ravages of disease in one short 
 week were frightful. 
 
 Dinner was served, but the stranger scarcely 
 tasted it. The bottle passed rapidly the dessert 
 was placed upon the table and we were left 
 to ourselves. Filling a claret glass to the brim, 
 "Come, Mowbray," he said, " know'st thou 
 this day?" 
 
 I replied "that I had no particular recollection 
 of it." 
 
 " Dull slave of law !" he exclaimed with a 
 smile, " has Waterloo faded from the calendar 
 already ?" 
 
 It was the anniversary of that battle we 
 drank to the memory of the brave and warmed 
 with the wine, the stranger's spirits became 
 excited. He had been there had been wounded 
 left upon the field and returned in the list 
 of the slain. He spoke with enthusiasm of that 
 
80 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 glorious fight his descriptions became more vivid 
 his anecdotes, more racy and interesting. The 
 pale cheek flushed the dim eye brightened 
 but the exertion was too great to be sustained : 
 he soon became exhausted and, at last, obliged 
 to own his feebleness, accepted my assistance 
 to reach his chamber. 
 
 Business imperatively required my presence 
 in London, and early next morning, I left The 
 Woodman. Four days passed, and from Annette 
 I learned that hourly the Unknown grew worse, 
 and that the fatal crisis was approaching. 
 
 I had already determined to visit The Wood- 
 man on the following day, when a note from 
 the stranger caused me to set off immediately. 
 Like the former, this note was without sub- 
 scription, and the few lines it contained were 
 almost illegible. I compared the notes and the 
 altered hand-writing sufficiently attested the 
 awful change which a few days had brought about. 
 
 I found him sitting in the parlour, where, as 
 Annette told me, he had been occupied in burning 
 papers. I stood beside him and one look told 
 me he had not many days to live. 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 81 
 
 My arrival, however, seemed to give him 
 unfeigned pleasure, and pressing my hand within 
 his feverish grasp, he thanked me for attending 
 so promptly to his letter. " Is the evening 
 warm, Mowbray ?" 
 
 I replied in the affirmative. 
 
 " Then," said the stranger, with perfect calm- 
 ness, " you and I will take our last walk to- 
 gether. I have been destroying papers of some 
 moment, and I shall finish my task while dinner 
 is preparing." 
 
 He took a small packet from his writing-desk, 
 and unbound the blue ribbon which encased a 
 number of letters, whose beautiful and delicate 
 penmanship at once discovered them to be a 
 female's. One by one his eye passed over their 
 contents, and with an effort which seemed to 
 require some determination, he flung them into 
 the fire. " 'Tis the last relic but one" he mur- 
 mured, " and that lies here" and he laid his 
 hand upon his bosom. Just then dinner was 
 served : he ate little, drank a glass or two of 
 wine, and then rising from the table, requested 
 me to accompany him. 
 
 E 2 
 
82 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 There was one shaded avenue that had been 
 his favourite walk we passed it, however, and 
 turned our steps towards the church-yard. En- 
 tering through the wicket, we stopped beneath 
 the huge yew tree which overspreads the gate. 
 
 " I have been fortunate, my dear Mowbray," 
 said the invalid, "in meeting with one so kind 
 as you, to cheer the parting hours of my earthly 
 pilgrimage. I am grateful and as hitherto you 
 have never asked a question touching my name 
 or history, I would entreat it, as a last request, 
 that you will never demand an explanation of 
 my evening visit to this place. / will briefly 
 state my wishes and I feel confident that you 
 will see them effected when I am at rest." 
 
 He led me along the walk until we reached 
 the extremity of the bury ing-ground, and to 
 my surprise stopped beside the grave of the 
 beautiful suicide, whose fate had so often excited 
 my warmest sympathy. 
 
 " Mowbray," he said, in a voice which be- 
 trayed the workings of an agonized spirit! "will 
 you recollect this spot? Lay me here here 
 close to that solitary grave. Mark the place 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 83 
 
 well, and promise that my last request shall be 
 attended to." I gave him a solemn assurance 
 that his wishes should be obeyed. He was fear- 
 fully agitated : his strength failed and with 
 considerable difficulty he was enabled to leave 
 the church-yard, and reach The Woodman. 
 
 He threw himself upon a sofa and whether 
 fatigue, or the place we had visited, affected him 
 I know not, but his once fine face was clouded 
 with an expression of the deepest sadness. Once 
 
 I observed a tear glisten on his cheek. 
 
 % 
 " I must give in, Mowbray," he murmured 
 
 feebly; " the machinery of this poor frame is 
 nearly worn out ; assist me to my chamber." 
 
 I did so partially undressed him laid him 
 on the bed and at his earnest request, then 
 left him to himself. 
 
 The evening wore heavily on midnight passed, 
 and the occupants of the inn retired to their 
 respective chambers but I felt for the sick 
 man a feverish anxiety that banished sleep. I 
 rose and unclosed the lattice the air was chill, 
 the night dark and moonless a torturing pre- 
 sentiment of coming evil oppressed me, and I 
 
84 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 stole quietly to the stranger's apartment. A 
 stream of light issued from beneath the door, 
 but all within was hushed. I feared to enter 
 lest I should disturb him, and was about to 
 retire, when a faint sigh startled me. An im- 
 pulse beyond control urged me to enter the 
 door yielded to my touch I stood beside the 
 bed a fixed and glassy stare met my inquiring 
 look I snatched a candle from the table, and 
 one glance told me that the stranger was a corpse, 
 and the sigh I overheard had been the parting 
 struggle of a disembodied spirit ! 
 
 I leaned over the departed soldier, and the 
 marked expression of the countenance told that 
 he had not passed quietly away. One arm was 
 extended above the coverlet, and a prayer-book 
 that had dropped from its hold, was open at 
 the beautiful petition " for persons troubled in 
 mind, or in conscience." The breast was un- 
 covered, and two remarkable objects met my eye 
 the cicatrix of a gun-shot wound, and the 
 miniature of a beautiful girl. Other tokens of 
 "foughten fields" were visible and the wasted 
 arm, scarred deeply by a sword cut, bore silent 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 85 
 
 testimony that the Unknown had been engaged 
 " where death was busy." We laid him in the 
 grave he wished for and the haughty soldier 
 sleeps beside the fair unfortunate. 
 
 Who was he 9 Some posthumous document 
 might tell and on the evening of his funeral, 
 we opened his writing desk in presence of the 
 village pastor. Within, letters and trinkets, 
 perfumed billets, ringlets of hair and other "me- 
 mentos of lady-love," were discovered but they 
 bore no superscription. One sealed packet was 
 addressed to me it conveyed a large sum in 
 bank notes to Annette, with an earnest request 
 that I should marry her; and like the rest, it 
 too was without a signature. We found a 
 Waterloo medal the name and rank of the 
 possessor would of course be engraven round 
 the edge. I snatched it from the clergyman ; 
 but every letter had been carefully filed out, and 
 the word " Dragoons" alone was traceable. 
 
 " Who was he ?" exclaimed the host. 
 
 "Colonel, I cannot tell his secret perished 
 with THE UNKNOWN." 
 
86 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " Death came to the Unknown," said the com- 
 mander, with a heavy sigh, "a welcome visitor; 
 and whoever the sufferer was, you may rest assured, 
 poor fellow, he had been once a splendid soldier. 
 The sick-bed, gentlemen, tries men more severely 
 than the battle-field. During the glorious hurry 
 of a conflict, the marvel is where cowardice finds 
 leisure to creep in. But sickness and if the malady 
 be mental, the worse by far that shatters the 
 nerve, and saps the courage of the boldest. Is it 
 not also singular, that men of the most opposite 
 habits and pursuits occasionally contract strong 
 friendships ? Yours, sir, with the stranger at The 
 Woodman, affords a striking instance." 
 
 " Many of mine, colonel," replied the lawyer, 
 " have been as warm and as accidental. I formed 
 a lasting friendship by sharing a prayer-book in St. 
 Paul's ; and another commenced in Oxford-street, 
 from a passenger communicating the pleasing 
 intelligence that my purse had been just abstracted 
 by a pick-pocket. A man who holds out for 
 formal introduction before he ventures to bandy a 
 
THE UNKNOWN. 87 
 
 civility, goes to the grave, leaving an unregretting 
 clique behind, who do not value his demise at a 
 pin's fee; while he who takes mankind as they 
 come, rough and smooth together, will find ore 
 and dross combined, but, with a little discrimina- 
 tion, he will not be frequently puzzled in making 
 his election between the two. I account my 
 acquaintance with 'the Unknown/ as the most 
 important incident in life, for its ultimate conse- 
 quence was matrimony." 
 
 " An important consequence, indubitably," 
 observed the Irish gentleman with the unpro- 
 nounceable address; " I too, sir, am. of the order 
 of Benedict; but faith, the means by which I 
 gained 6 my lady-love,' were somewhat different." 
 
 " Gentlemen," said the colonel, " you have 
 touched upon a subject of deep interest to me. 
 I may as well make a clear breast at once, and 
 own that at times, 6 suadente diaboloj I fear 
 I feel ' a longing after' matrimony. Prudence, 
 however, jogs me on the elbow, and whispers 
 'Denis O'Flagherty, remember you are on the 
 wrong side of forty-five ; and even in your best 
 days were never reputed to be a lady-killer. 
 
00 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 Ceylon does not operate like milk of roses on the 
 complexion and the next time you are shaving, 
 just look in the glass, and observe that interesting 
 Badajoz memento which ornaments your nose, and 
 say if it be an improvement.' But still, gentlemen, 
 
 1 might muster a desperate resolution. They tell 
 me that the ways by which women may be won 
 are manifold. Some are slowly taken by sap, 
 others carried off-hand by storm. By which 
 method, if it be no secret, might I inquire how 
 your success, sir, was achieved ?" 
 
 " By neither, colonel," replied Mr. O'Donel ; 
 " I won my wife on horseback." 
 
 " Then, alas, may I despair. If I must ' witch 
 the world by feats of noble horsemanship,' I shall 
 go to the tomb of the Capulets unmated. But 
 Jack, my kinsman, will listen with the deepest 
 interest ; some of his equestrian exploits have not 
 been exceeded since the days of Mazeppa." 
 
 The gentleman from Ballamascanlan having 
 received a refresher, as the lawyer termed it, 
 from the punch-bowl, immediately commenced his 
 story. 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 
 
 c Had Diana been there she'd be pleas'd to the life, 
 And one of the lads got a goddess for wife." 
 
 OLD HUNTING SONG. 
 
 YEARS eheu fugaces ! have passed, and yet 
 how vivid is the 16th of October, 181 in my 
 memory. The larger portion of my web of 
 life is spun and mine, to say the truth, 
 has been one of mingled yarns. Well, it 
 matters little now. I can remember calmly 
 the sunshine and the shadow and the gloomiest 
 retrospect has many a lightsome day and merry 
 night associated with its recollection. Mine was 
 indeed a careless career for fancy led all through, 
 and prudence was double distanced. Like wiser 
 men, many a wrong cast I made ; was " stabbed 
 with a white wench's black eye" consorted 
 with " Ephesians of the old church" and 
 
90 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 listened too often to "the chimes at midnight." 
 But, like old Jack, I leave the blame upon 
 " villanous company," and say with him, " I 
 was as virtuously given as a gentleman need be." 
 
 It was the first week in July, when having 
 taken the honours of a graduate, after a five 
 years' sojourn within the classic courts of Alma 
 Mater, I strolled into the Repository in Ste- 
 
 phen's-green, to bid adieu to old H , who 
 
 for thirty years had horsed "us of Trinity." It 
 was sale-day, and a blank one too. The world 
 was out of town and there were few to sell, 
 and fewer yet to buy. A hack, not worth a 
 hay-band, was knocked down to an aspiring linen 
 draper, who wanted " something smart" whereon 
 to dust himself occasionally. I saw him regu- 
 larly jockeyed with infinite satisfaction, as he 
 had once dunned me, even unto payment, for "a 
 beggarly account" of gloves and pocket handker- 
 chiefs. Although he did not venture to invite 
 me to be of the multitude of his counsellors, 
 I had broken his windows upon the evening I 
 paid his bill, that did not prevent me from 
 pointing out certain beauties in the quadruped 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 91 
 
 then beneath the hammer, which had even es- 
 caped the auctioneer himself. Indeed, according 
 to my showing, the cardinal virtues of horseflesh 
 were concentrated in that matchless animal. Yet 
 human judgment is fallible, and the steed did 
 not realize the qualifications ascribed to him 
 by the puffer and myself; for, as the "Evening 
 Post" soon afterwards announced, Mr. Lawrence 
 Lutestring was run away with upon the Rock 
 Road, and the excited courser, not content with 
 demolishing sundry ribs of the unfortunate 
 cavalier, had, from an infirmity of vision, come 
 in contact with a loaded jaunting-car, and the 
 concussion was so awful, that the company were 
 deposited in a wet ditch, and the vehicle rendered 
 hors de combat. 
 
 I was about to leave the yard, when old Phil, 
 prime minister to the Repository, jogged me 
 on the elbow " Stop a minute it's worth while, 
 sir. There's a queer one coming out he's the 
 devil, to be sure. Och, if he had but temper; 
 and here he is." While he spoke, a rattling tho- 
 rough-bred dark bay horse issued from the stables. 
 He was in the lowest condition imaginable ; but, 
 
92 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 notwithstanding his poverty, he seemed the ruin 
 of a noble animal. He was far from handsome 
 the head was coarse the shoulder thick but 
 he embodied some good points, and, though 
 cross-made, to an experienced eye, his ensemble 
 was excellent. Archy, my best man as honest 
 a groom as ever wore livery whispered, "if he 
 had not the go in him, he was the biggest vil- 
 lain under the canopy" and before the animal 
 had made the third turn down the run, I had 
 come to a similar conclusion. 
 
 The groom stopped when he gained the van- 
 tage ground. " There, gentlemen," said the 
 auctioneer, " there's what I call youth and beauty. 
 There's the making of a fortune, and no mistake. 
 The lady who could refuse any thing to a man 
 with such a daisy-cutter under him, would be 
 hard to please indeed. Kun him down, Lanty 
 that's action and elegance Come, sir," to a 
 tall raw-boned young grocer " that horse was 
 foaled for you a gentleman of your figure 
 should never cross any thing but blood this 
 here horse is young Selim own brother to 
 Mousecatcher cousin to Morgiana and up to 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 93 
 
 fourteen stone with any fox hounds in the 
 kingdom." But Selim appeared likely to profit 
 little from his respectable relationship he had 
 a ree look, a blemished knee, was fired behind, 
 and had killed a man into the bargain for he 
 had, as it transpired, run off with a drunken 
 helper, and broke the rider's neck against the 
 frame-work of the stable door. Now, in a com- 
 pany of sober cits, requiring " steady roadsters," 
 and " useful family horses," Selim found little 
 favour and the young grocer, even to become 
 a lady-killer, would not bid a sixpence. 
 
 " Gentlemen, I put him up at fifty" said 
 he of the hammer. " No reserve in this case 
 none, upon honour owner gone to the Penin- 
 sula, and orders for sale absolute Selim is a 
 beautiful charger steady with arms" and here 
 he addressed a corpulent personage, who, as it 
 appeared, was in the yeomanry "He would 
 carry you .upon parade, delightfully his courage 
 is only equalled by his training his late master 
 would ride him at a battery." A lattery ! 
 may heaven forgive him ! Selim had never seen 
 a corporal's guard relieved in his life a cracker 
 
94 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 would rise him sky high and a squib, send him 
 across the broadest part of Sackville-street. Still, 
 not a whisper from the company, and the auction- 
 eer proceeded " gentlemen,, we must sacrifice him 
 orders peremptory say forty, for this beau- 
 tiful and gentle animal." " Gentle," ejaculated 
 the grocer, " and he after killing a groom." 
 This was indeed a home hit the auctioneer 
 coughed c ' hem hem rather unfortunate, but 
 mere accident after all say thirty, gentlemen 
 twenty ten do give me a bid" "Five" roared 
 a jingle owner " Ten" said Archy " Fifteen" 
 shouted the puffer " Twenty " cried I the ham- 
 mer fell and the brother of Mousecatcher was mine ! 
 Now I verily believe that the whole history of 
 Selim was apocryphal, except the solitary fact of 
 his having finished a stable-boy. In one thing, 
 however, Archy and I were unanimous that to 
 a herring-cadger he was worth the money, pro- 
 vided he would but carry the baskets We 
 brought him to the country bled, fed, blistered, 
 and physicked him, all secundem artem turned 
 him out upon a fine salt marsh, and left him 
 to " fulfil his destinies." 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 95 
 
 At this memorable period of my life, the north 
 of Ireland was celebrated for its sporting associa- 
 tions. The Boyne, the Doagh, the Newtownbreda 
 Hunts, were all in full force ; and few of the larger 
 towns wanted their own particular club. Many 
 private gentlemen were also masters of hounds, 
 and kept their establishments nobly. Then the 
 glory of c The Rangers' was in its zenith T then- 
 country and members were alike extensive and 
 no gentleman attached to field-sports, within thirty 
 miles, whose rank and fortune would authorize his 
 admission, but was enrolled in that celebrated club. 
 The members met annually in the county town, 
 attended by a pack of fox-hounds and "a gallant 
 following." They lived like " Irish Kings" 
 played high, drank deep, seldom went to bed, gave 
 dashing balls, and set the country in a blaze for 
 weeks before and months afterwards Alas ! all 
 this is over ; the club is no more ; the pack is scat- 
 tered ; the kennel, a ruin ; most of the " Rangers" 
 fill "the narrow house;" and where, in Ireland, 
 could rank, and wealth, and influence be congre- 
 gated now ? 
 
 Into " The Rangers" I had been recently 
 
96 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 admitted : their meeting was fixed for the middle 
 of October, and the Cup, with other valuable 
 plates, were then to be contested. The Cup had 
 excited unusual interest, it having been challenged 
 by a dozen members, " good men and true," and 
 each having, or believing he had, an excellent 
 chance of winning it. The race was three miles 
 over, Hibernice, a sporting Anglice^ a break-neck 
 country : the weights, thirteen stone. There were 
 already eight candidates in full preparation. Six 
 depended on their own horses, good, fast, honest, 
 weight- carriers but two had gone to considerable 
 expense, and had secured, at a large figure, 
 celebrated racing-hunters " for the nonce." 
 
 " What will not young ambition ?" and in 
 spite of this mighty array, I boldly added my 
 name to the list of challengers. I had a slashing 
 four-year-old mare, whose stride and action were 
 extraordinary. As there was no allowance for age 
 or sex, the weights were certainly against her ; but 
 I was not the one to despair, and even to name 
 her in such a match was an honour worth the 
 entrance-money. 
 
 August came ; Miranda was in beautiful condi- 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 97 
 
 tion ; and Archy exhausted upon her training all 
 the arcana of the racing-stable, and the experience 
 of a life, while I dreamed of nothing but cups and 
 conquest. Alas ! these visions were rudely dis- 
 pelled for, one morning, Miranda was found 
 halter-cast in the stable. She was dead lame, and 
 lame she continued for many a month afterwards. 
 To me and my master of the horse, this was a sad 
 disappointment. I betook myself to grouse- 
 shooting, and Archy to whiskey and religion. 
 Poor Archy in the hours of business he was but 
 after all an indifferent Catholic, for the priest 
 declared that from the moment a horse was put 
 in training, he never " darkened a chapel door." 
 
 August passed, and I would have willingly 
 continued absent. To witness the downfall of 
 my ambition was painful, as it was feared that 
 Miranda was incurably lame. Other feelings 
 were paramount ; I was deep in love, and at 
 twenty-one that is a desperate concern. 
 
 Rosa lived near me ; I would have forgotten 
 her, but that was impossible. She was an heiress 
 gentle, and timid to a degree, and fearful of 
 hearing she was beloved. Yet there were times, 
 
 F 
 
98 RAMBLING "RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 when, if my advances were not encouraged, at 
 least my suit was listened to and an ill-con- 
 cealed satisfaction betrayed that she was not 
 indifferent to my suit. Her coldness piqued 
 me for the moment and yet I left her, per- 
 suaded that of all her sex, she was best worthy 
 of being wooed and won. 
 
 I arrived home for a late dinner, discussed some 
 old port, listened to a long story from my father, 
 and was musing over the misfortunes of my mare, 
 when Archy popped in his head, to ask " if I 
 would look into the stables." I followed him, 
 and one glance told me that Miranda was not 
 to figure in the field. My eyes passed rapidly 
 over the stalls and rested on a stranger in the 
 corner, sheeted with my own covers. Archy, 
 with a knowing look, stripped the new-comer, 
 and the brother of Mousecatcher was before me. 
 And could this be he ? The rakish, tattered, 
 rejected man-killer of the Repository, changed 
 into as fine a horse as ever followed a fox- 
 hound ! The mystery was quickly solved : 
 Archy had visited the salt-marsh found Selim 
 so altered as scarcely to be recognised ; took 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 99 
 
 him up and got him through physic and ready 
 for training. For this, indeed, there was but 
 little time ; but Archy swore that " slight train- 
 ing was best for a half-bred," and Archy was 
 right. 
 
 For my own part, I could scarce believe my 
 eyes, and examined Selim carefully, to assure 
 myself of his identity. Every scratch upon his 
 legs had disappeared ; the blemish on his knee 
 was hardly visible ; he was now a sporting- 
 looking horse, and as Archy swore, " better 
 than he looked." 
 
 Time flew, and every thing increased my con- 
 fidence in the cousin of Morgiana. His speed 
 was easily ascertained, but of his fencing qua- 
 lities we knew nothing. Any thing we took him 
 at he executed well, and intricate leaps were 
 for obvious reasons avoided. I had secured a 
 gentleman to ride for me, who in steeple- 
 chasing had already covered himself with glory, 
 and with reasonable hopes of success, I awaited 
 the result. 
 
 And yet I never caused my competitors a 
 thought for with the lameness of Miranda, it 
 
100 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 had pleased them to conclude my racing history. 
 They heard accidentally that I had purchased 
 a horse in town, and all they knew of him 
 was, that he had killed a man, and had been 
 bought for a song. With this information they 
 rested satisfied, and decided that myself and 
 man-killer were below consideration. I kept 
 my own counsel and when it was necessary to 
 remove to the vicinity of the race-ground, I 
 procured accommodation for my establishment 
 at an obscure farm-house, and our incognito was 
 as perfect as if we had never quitted our 
 stables. 
 
 But there was one to whom my proceed- 
 ings were not indifferent and that one was 
 my gentle Rosa. With all a woman's tender- 
 ness she had sympathized in my disappointment. 
 She knew my secret for ours were young 
 hearts and what agitated one breast could not 
 but interest the other. 
 
 The evening before the eventful day, I stole 
 from the club-room to exchange the jargon of 
 the field for a tete-a-tete with my pretty mis- 
 tress. " Hot with the Tuscan grape" I urged 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 101 
 
 my passion with more than common ardour, 
 and Eosa listened. Just then her maid dis- 
 turbed us, and brought me a letter that had 
 been forwarded by express. I broke the seal 
 death to my hopes ! my rider had been thrown 
 from a coach-box, and lay, with a broken arm 
 at a country inn, some ten miles distant. 
 
 Rosa remarked my agitation ; " Is there 
 any thing wrong, Arthur?" 
 
 "Yes, dearest, I am indeed a luckless cava- 
 lier: K has met with an accident, and 
 
 Selim is consequently without a rider?" 
 
 "And will he not run then?" 
 
 Half a minute determines frequently, as well 
 as the consideration of half a year, and in that 
 brief space I formed my resolution. " He will 
 run> Rosa: but with me upon his back, what 
 chance can he have with the best riders in the 
 kingdom opposed?" 
 
 "But the danger, dear Arthur." 
 
 " Is not greater than fox-hunters encounter 
 thrice a-week." 
 
 "And is there really no more?" 
 
 I assured her there was not, and shortly 
 
102 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 afterwards bade her a good-night. This trifling 
 occurrence elicited more from Rosa than all my 
 studied efforts ; and when I left her, for the first 
 time I pressed her to my bosom, and heard her 
 murmur a prayer for my safety and success. 
 
 Whether it was that unforeseen events call 
 forth the latent energies of the mind, or a con- 
 sciousness that I was beloved by her for whom I 
 would have sacrificed a world, that roused the 
 ardour of my spirit I know not, but I entered the 
 crowded club-room with buoyant and excited 
 feelings. The accident to my rider had transpired, 
 and from some I received sincere from others, 
 ironical condolence. 
 
 " I hope, notwithstanding, that the homicide 
 will run," said the president. 
 
 " The homicide, as you are pleased to term 
 him, will run; and for want of a better horse- 
 man his owner will ride and win if he can." 
 
 My tone and manner were not unmarked; 
 and while some were recommending me to effect 
 a life-insurance, I was coolly booking heavy odds, 
 and so continued, till every gentleman inclined 
 to bet them, had been heartily satisfied. The 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 103 
 
 joking at my expense, subsided fast people 
 began to look suspiciously and Jemmy Joyce 
 whispered his next neighbour, that the sooner 
 he hedged the better, as the race was not quite 
 so sure, I being according to his parlance, " very 
 like a lad who would make a spoon, or spoil 
 a horn." Having balanced my book, I borrowed 
 an old blue jacket from the huntsman; left the 
 club ; visited the stable ; and went quietly to 
 rest, to be fresh and ready for the morrow. 
 
 Morning came and I felt rather queer. I 
 began to discover that it is no joke for nervous 
 gentlemen to ride steeple chases for the first 
 time, under the critical examination of thirty 
 thousand spectators but an incident restored 
 my hardiesse. At breakfast a sealed parcel was 
 handed me by the waiter it contained a beau- 
 tiful pink and yellow jacket no note accom- 
 panied it, but to the cap a scroll was attached, 
 bearing in a female hand, the motto " May this 
 be foremost" Whose might the faery favour 
 be ? My heart whispered the name and I was 
 not mistaken. 
 
 The ground selected for the race was chosen 
 
104 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 with excellent judgment, as it afforded to the 
 mighty multitude an uninterrupted view of the 
 race from its commencement to its close. From 
 a circular valley the surface undulated gently 
 and the course, nearly elliptical, stretched along 
 the rising ground. In the same field the starting 
 and winning posts were placed. This was the 
 favourite stand ; a long line of carriages of every 
 description occupied it; ladies were there "thick 
 as leaves in Vall'ombrosa," for every thing dis- 
 tingue and beautiful for counties round had con- 
 gregated. 
 
 At twelve o'clock a warning bugle was heard, 
 and from their respective cantonments the horses 
 slowly approached the same point and each as 
 he entered the field, was scrutinized by a crowd 
 of horsemen, who were assembled for that pur- 
 pose at the gate. With short intervals, a grey, 
 a brown, and two bays passed review; they had 
 their respective admirers, but caused no great 
 sensation, for expectation " was still . on tip- 
 toe." Presently a buz was heard a horse ap- 
 proached, and Firebrand, a noted racing hunter 
 from Eoscommon appeared. He looked to be 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 105 
 
 in capital condition, and from having won four 
 cups already, his character was deservedly high. 
 
 " But louder yet the clamour grew," as the 
 pet of the day, the far-famed English horse 
 Comet, appeared. He was a splendid thorough- 
 bred chestnut, full sixteen hands high, and 
 "looking every inch" a racer. I felt my cheek 
 blanche as I examined him. He was indeed a 
 formidable opponent and as his late owner, 
 
 Captain M , reputed justly to be the best 
 
 field horseman in the kingdom, was to ride him, 
 no wonder that I began to dread the contest. 
 
 He was presently led off and my forlorn 
 charger was impatiently expected. In the few 
 minutes which elapsed before his entree, I and 
 my man-killer, were subjected to many a sporting 
 jest. At length the brother of Mousecatcher 
 appeared, and on he came with a careless toss 
 of the head, as if he had never finished a stable- 
 boy. Closely sheeted as he was, his appearance 
 was very different from what had been anti- 
 cipated ; the knowing ones looked more know- 
 ing ; and Jemmy Joyce swore with a grin, 
 that he seemed "mighty like a Tartar!" 
 
 F 2 
 
106 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 While the horses were leading to the starting 
 post, I galloped up the rise to the place my 
 pretty mistress occupied in an open carriage. 
 
 " Tell me, I pray you," said her cousin, 
 "what spell is over Rosa; know you the secret 
 that robs her of her roses ?" 
 
 "Shall I restore them?" I replied; and 
 unclosing my top coat, I displayed my handsome 
 jacket. When it met her eyes, her cheeks were 
 dyed with blushes, and I was left at no loss 
 to conjecture whence my " faery favour" came. 
 
 Again the bugle sounded Comet and Fire- 
 brand occupied the attention of the crowd, while 
 Selim was stripped and saddled behind a large 
 marquee. To assume my gay cap, and doff my 
 coat was but the business of a minute. My 
 competitors were already mounted, and I was 
 impatiently called for, and promptly from behind 
 the tent, a dashing horse, and gallant rider 
 issued. Our appearance elicited a murmur of 
 applause: the owners of Comet and Firebrand, 
 looked blank enough; and faith they had good 
 reason. 
 
 As we drew up in line, I thought the English 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 107 
 
 racer appeared not to be in foil force; but the 
 determined countenance of his inimitable jockey, 
 dressed in his black and buff stripes, looked 
 alarming. Nor was Firebrand without his 
 friends ; and the green cap was offered fully 
 against every thing but Comet. As to me, 
 people seemed afraid to back, or bet against 
 me; and those who had laid the odds last night 
 so heavily, were hedging now as fast as they 
 could meet with customers. 
 
 Off we went in a bunch; the bays, brown, 
 and grey, making the running. I saw at once 
 that the pace, though severe for them, was 
 nothing to Comet, Firebrand, and my friend the 
 Man-killer and after a mile we tailed them off, 
 and had the race to ourselves. 
 
 One moiety of the ground was broken into til- 
 lage fields and enclosures ; the other was open 
 meadow, affording excellent galloping, and in- 
 terspersed with stiff fences. Here, having cleared 
 the paddocks, we increased the speed and came 
 out at a killing pace. 
 
 On entering the grass lands, I found my rivals 
 could not conveniently go faster, and that I 
 
108 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 was up to it well. The race was indeed beau- 
 tiful for the next mile a sheet would cover us 
 the fences were taken in line and none could 
 tell, whether black, yellow, or green was fore- 
 most. 
 
 Half a mile from home, there was a fence of 
 tremendous size ; it was a ditch with a drain at 
 either side, and the face that we approached was 
 stockaded with stumped thorns. It was in truth 
 " a regular rasper," and distinguished by the 
 country people, "par excellence" as the big 
 leap. As we neared it, my companions gathered 
 the energies of their horses for the trial, and 
 Selim looked as if he were half persuaded to 
 decline it. For the first time, he felt the steel ; 
 and with a glorious effort cleared this formida- 
 ble barrier in a style that drew down from the 
 multitude a thunder of applause. Not so my 
 rivals ; Firebrand fell, and staked himself 
 while Comet, by his rider's horsemanship, was 
 indifferently brought across, but staggering, he 
 came down on landing, and in the mistake, lost 
 ground he could never recover. During the 
 run home, he did make a wonderful struggle to 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. 109 
 
 pull up; but it was vain, for after we crossed 
 the break-neck fence I had the race hollow. 
 
 Amid deafening cheers, I was carried from 
 the scales in triumph. I was declared, even 
 by Jemmy Joyce, a youth of promise, and my 
 Man-killer pronounced the best weight-carrier 
 in the kingdom. 
 
 Every tale has its moral, and so has mine. 
 Never condemn a horse untried ; for many a 
 good one has thus been sacrificed. I saved 
 Selim from slavery and a jingle ; and in return 
 he won me four cups, and carried me four 
 seasons, as I was never carried afterwards. Nay 
 more, I owe my connubial happiness mainly to 
 " my bonny bay." Rosa was an heiress, and I a 
 younger son. A rich rival was encouraged by 
 her guardian, and in a few days he was expected 
 to make his addresses in form. I was flushed 
 with victory, and she flattered to see her faery 
 favour foremost in the jield. At the ball that 
 night, my eloquence was irresistible ; she smiled 
 upon my suit; and to end uncertainty and save 
 her guardian future trouble, we eloped next 
 morning to Gretna, and there became one flesh. 
 
110 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 Years of happiness have proved how fortu- 
 nate that union was ; and if some reminiscences 
 of early indiscretion will sometimes intrude upon 
 my memory, on two eras I can look back with 
 unalloyed delight the morning when I rode my 
 first steeple chase and the evening that made 
 Rosa mine. 
 
 " Mr. O'Donel, your story-telling is equal to 
 your horsemanship both admirable," exclaimed 
 the colonel ; ^ but alas ! I must despair ; no 
 hymeneal fortune is in store for me, if an 
 heiress must be won by crossing a stiff country 
 at break-neck speed, and upon a horse that has 
 already finished a stable-man. Jack, c an thou 
 be a man,' to thy bowl again ! One round 
 more ere we beat a retreat for the night. I 
 have kept Captain Bouverie in reserve, to tell 
 us a parting story before we seek our pillows." 
 
 " Nothing, my dear sir," replied the gallant 
 
MY FIRST STEEPLE CHASE. Ill 
 
 captain, " would give me greater satisfaction, 
 than to contribute to the c joint stock* of this 
 goodly company ; but in truth, mine are only 
 the reminiscences of ; a man about town ;' or 
 duller yet, those of a soldier whose services 
 have never extended beyond that arch deceiver's, 
 c Captain Smith,' who drove Miss Bailey to 
 desperation. Like him, I have dwelt < in coun- 
 try quarters,' escorted a gauger with a captured 
 still, and even commanded a baggage-guard. 
 But stop ! may I not become ' a retailer of 
 other men's wares ?' An incident occurred to 
 a kinsman of mine which he noted down, and 
 \ which, at the time, appeared to me to possess 
 some interest. In you, colonel, the tale will 
 find a partial listener, for my cousin is a Tory 
 of the first water ; a man with whom, after a 
 preliminary embrace, you might swear an eternal 
 friendship ; and to other gentlemen, of ' liberal 
 principles,' I shall only observe, that manifold 
 as my sins are, I am guiltless, thank God, of 
 authorship. I will read the manuscript and it 
 is not of the clearest character as it came into 
 
112 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 my possession and with the best ' emphasis 
 and discretion' I can command." 
 
 The captain smiled unlocked his writing- 
 case extracted what Tony Lumpkin would call 
 
 " a d d crabbed piece of penmanship," and 
 
 thus began : 
 
' 
 
 LEAVES FROM THE JOURNAL OF A 
 DECEASED PLURALIST. 
 
 " Pshaw ! let him starve 
 The fellow's old no matter when he dies." 
 
 OLD PLAY. 
 
 IT was the last week in April, when my leave 
 of absence had expired, and I was hurrying to 
 
 the village of to join a detachment of the 
 
 Rifle brigade, to which corps I was then 
 attached. The morning had been sharp and 
 gusty, but as evening came on, the wind 
 dropped, and a small thick rain succeeded. We 
 stopped at the Red Lion for dinner and for 
 the first time, insides and outsides, with one 
 exception, united round a well-covered table. 
 
 None of my fellow-travellers were in any 
 way remarkable, except the individual who de- 
 clined to join the company, and beyond a first 
 
114 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 look, I scarcely noticed them. To judge from 
 their conversation, some were in trade, and 
 others were cattle-dealers. They ate with the 
 despatch of men accustomed to discuss a tra- 
 velling meal comforted themselves with a 
 strong infusion of " real Koscrea" assumed 
 their coats and cloaks, and, as the rain now fell 
 heavily, every man protected himself against 
 the inclemency of the weather as he best could. 
 I have already said that one personage kept 
 aloof from the remainder of the company, and 
 while they were occupied at the dinner-table, 
 he gazed listlessly from the window. I looked 
 at him with attention. He was tall, thin, 
 stricken in years, dressed in shabby mourning, 
 but " every inch" a gentleman. I never wit- 
 nessed such settled melancholy as his care-worn 
 face presented ; while deep and ill-suppressed 
 sighs occasionally escaped from a bosom evi- 
 dently surcharged with sorrow. To look upon 
 that pensive countenance unmoved, was impos- 
 sible. I felt intensely for his sufferings, al- 
 though ignorant of the cause from whence they 
 sprang and, when the guard announced that 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 115 
 
 the coach was ready to proceed, I would have 
 given " a Jew's eye" to have known the old 
 man's history. 
 
 The rain came down in torrents the out- 
 sides mounted to their places the object of my 
 curiosity prepared to follow them, when the 
 coachman advanced and touched his hat re- 
 spectfully. 
 
 " You had better get in, sir there is but 
 one gentleman I'm sure he won't object." 
 
 Object ! he would be a brute indeed, who 
 would not submit to personal inconvenience to 
 accommodate that meek and heart-broken stran- 
 ger. The old man hesitated, looked upwards 
 at the thick and murky sky, then at his own 
 threadbare surtout, bowed gratefully when I 
 seconded the driver's invitation, and placed him- 
 self beside me. The door closed, the horn 
 sounded, " all right," said the guard, " chit- 
 chit," returned the coachman, on rolled the 
 mail, and the stranger and myself were left 
 together. 
 
 Our tete-a-tete was but a short one. Four 
 miles onward the coach pulled up, and my 
 
116 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 companion announced that his journey had ter- 
 minated. He bade me a polite good evening, 
 and once more I found myself in lonely occu- 
 pation of " the leathern conveniency." 
 
 I watched my fellow-traveller from the win- 
 dow, and remarked that both the guard and 
 coachman declined the small gratuity he offered 
 them. The old man passed through a ruined 
 gateway into an avenue overrun with weeds, 
 which led to a dilapidated mansion. Suddenly 
 a turning of the road shut out the stranger 
 from my view next moment the building dis- 
 appeared and I flung myself back in the 
 vehicle, and strove to sleep. 
 
 The effort was idle ; the old man could not 
 be readily forgotten ; for, short as our interview 
 had been, his conversation and address had fas- 
 cinated me. He was unquestionably a man of 
 sorrow, but at times he endeavoured to be 
 cheerful, and succeeded. Alas ! "the sunshine 
 of the breast" was with him a transient gleam 
 sad reality returned, the smile sickened on 
 his furrowed cheek and deep, heart-sinking de- 
 spondency overspread a countenance that once 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 117 
 
 had glowed with intellectuality and benevo- 
 lence. 
 
 Three stages more brought me to my desti- 
 nation. My servant was waiting the arrival 
 of the mail, and to him I consigned the charge 
 of my baggage, and entered the parlour of the 
 King's Arms, which I had selected for head 
 quarters, during my military occupation of the 
 village where my party was cantoned. 
 
 The coach proceeded on its route, my portman- 
 teaus were safely deposited, and Hall, my best man, 
 then delivered me a small book which the driver 
 had found in the carriage, and concluded that it 
 was forgotten there by me. One glance told that it 
 was no property of mine. It was a memorandum- 
 book, written closely in plain and old-fashioned cha- 
 racters. Whose could it be ? The old man's cer- 
 tainly. I turned to the fly-leaf there was a clear 
 and remarkable autograph the name was c ' Edmund 
 Harley," and underneath, "Dunlow T Rectory, 1830." 
 
 Was Edmund Harley then, the melancholy 
 stranger ? He was. The landlord confirmed my 
 conjectures, and favoured me with all the par- 
 ticulars of his sufferings that he knew. 
 
118 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 For forty years he had been in possession 
 of two adjacent parishes, and the income they 
 produced was considerable, although, from 
 the studious habits, and easy disposition of the 
 incumbent, scarcely a moiety of what he might 
 have conscientiously demanded, was obtained. 
 He was generally respected for a blameless life 
 and gentle manners had rendered him deservedly 
 a favourite. Harley was not the man to amass 
 wealth and when a lawless combination against 
 the Irish clergy, fostered by the passive endu- 
 rance of an executive which should have crushed 
 it in its birth, carried misery and desolation into 
 many a happy home, the aged rector of Dunlow 
 was prominent among the sufferers. He had 
 not laid past a guinea; for confident in the 
 stability of vested rights, he was content with 
 forwarding the professional interests of his son, 
 and securing, by a life-insurance, an adequate 
 maintenance for his wife and daughters, if they 
 should survive him. Alas ! to a certain extent 
 that precaution was unnecessary. His son died 
 in a foreign land his favourite daughter sur- 
 vived her brother but a twelvemonth indigence 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 119 
 
 followed affliction his income was withheld, and 
 his carriage, plate, and books, were all gradually 
 sacrificed to meet demands which every day 
 became more pressing. His wife, a woman of 
 high sensibility, was unable to sustain the loss 
 of her beloved ones, superadded to unexpected 
 and unmerited penury and in a few months 
 she, too, was where the weary rest. 
 
 The old man bore his trials as the follower 
 of a meek Master should bear them. He was 
 destitute and bereaved he had outlived those 
 who should have closed his eyes he had been 
 stricken with poverty but no complaint escaped 
 him, and in an unfurnished and half ruined 
 house, once a home of happiness, he was pa- 
 tiently wearing out his appointed days, and 
 waiting for " death, the deliverer." 
 
 "And was he abandoned by all? Oh, no! 
 one there was who never left him. Ellen Harley 
 she, the young, the beautiful, the gifted she 
 on whom, in the brilh'ancy of the ball-room, the 
 eye would turn with delight she tended the 
 sufferer with that love that woman only knows. 
 She shared her parent's indigence without a 
 
120 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 murmur; and, while a once proud heart was 
 breaking, the sigh was hushed, the tear repressed 
 from starting, lest any indication of the misery 
 she endured should add to the wretchedness of 
 her father." 
 
 I listened in agony to the landlord's narrative. 
 What are fictitious sorrows to the sad realities 
 of life ? I never regretted that Fortune had 
 not loaded me with her gifts till now. I un- 
 locked my writing-case ; and the few bank-notes 
 it contained were quickly under an envelope, 
 and directed to Harley's address. 
 
 " Heaven will reward you, sir," observed 
 mine host. " I will bring the letter to the 
 office, and pay the postage, or the old gentle- 
 man would not, most probably, be able to 
 release it." 
 
 Great God ! a scholar and a gentleman so 
 destitute that the possession of a few pence was 
 questionable ! It was indeed too true, and 
 the landlord's precaution was not an unwise 
 one." 
 
 Night came on, torrents fell from the sky, the 
 wind rose, the doors rattled, as every gust 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 121 
 
 with increasing violence, swept the sleet and 
 rain against the windows. I never felt myself 
 more wretched and depressed; and yet, why 
 should a tale of individual suffering touch me 
 deeply ? Is not misery entailed upon existence ? 
 and, sooner or later, every heart must bleed. 
 I snuffed the candles, drew my chair closer to 
 the fire, and opened the churchman's diary. But 
 was I authorized to read that record of affliction ? 
 I paused, and laid aside the book. I taxed the 
 motive that influenced my wish to learn more 
 of the old man's history. It was sympathy for 
 his misfortunes, and a determination to relieve 
 them if I had the power. I opened the manu- 
 script again, and read the following extracts :* 
 
 " 1830. The fortieth anniversary of my mar- 
 riage, and Elizabeth and I have gone smoothly 
 hand-in-hand through life. They told me, when 
 I resigned my fellowship and married my beloved, 
 that I undervalued my talents and had no ambi- 
 
 * The extracts are loosely taken from the manuscript. 
 
 G 
 
122 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 tion. They were wrong. I knew I had within 
 myself means to command worldly or collegiate 
 honours : but they were right I had no ambition 
 beyond competency and a virtuous woman. Was 
 I not wise, and Heaven too bountiful? My 
 attached companion my brave boy my innocent 
 and beautiful daughters the luxury of a quiet 
 life my books my happy home would lawn 
 sleeves, or a provost's chair repay them ? No, 
 no ! Edmund Harley thank the Dispenser of 
 
 all good for the happy lot assigned thee !" 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " 1831. Tithe resistance increases, money 
 comes in tardily, and my wife urges me to lay 
 down my carriage; but to her declining health 
 gentle exercise is necessary, and I must not 
 deprive her of the means. Surely the govern- 
 ment will check these outrages ! If suffered to 
 continue with impunity, it is hard to say where 
 
 the mischief will end." 
 
 * # * # 
 
 " 1832. Matters grow worse. They have 
 posted threatening notices on my gate. Not a 
 shilling to be had my life insurance falls due 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 123 
 
 within a month. Where is the money that 
 shall pay the policy to be obtained? I fear 
 the carriage must go. Poor, dear Elizabeth ! 
 when I hinted at parting with my library, never 
 was distress like hers. She solemnly declared 
 against entering her carriage again, and I know 
 her determination. Well, well we must wait 
 
 a week or two before we sell it." 
 
 # # * * 
 
 " My equipage is laid down. Thank God, 
 a provision for my dear wife and daughters is 
 safe for another year." 
 
 # # * # 
 
 " 1832. Alas ! the mischief is but beginning. 
 They have murdered my tithe-proctor, to prevent 
 his proving what debts are due me. He was 
 an honest and inoffensive man and his only 
 fault, fidelity to his employer. I must provide 
 for his family. Alas ! I can hardly provide a 
 sufficiency for my own." 
 
 # * # * 
 
 " 1833 A letter from Frederick. He has 
 
 heard of my embarrassments, and what a sacri- 
 fice does he contemplate ! To leave the army. 
 
124 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 quit the profession he glories in, and sit down 
 in degrading inactivity at thirty-two ! No, 
 Frederick thy father shall never shorten a 
 career commenced so brilliantly. I 'have written 
 and implored him to abandon his design, and 
 assured him I had a present supply. There is 
 not a shilling in the house ; but surely, the 
 falsehood is excusable, for a few days will bring 
 us the amount of the plate I have sent to Dublin 
 
 to be sold." 
 
 * * # * 
 
 "- -I have ended my distressing task, and 
 sent a catalogue of my library to the bookseller. 
 Heigh-ho ! the work, or rather the amusement 
 of fifty years is gone ! I have kept a few 
 duplicates and I should be thankful that I had 
 the means of averting want for a season. Emily 
 looks ill my altered circumstances are preying 
 
 on her in secret." 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " The last Protestant family has departed. 
 
 The murder of their neighbours, the Gilmores, 
 has terrified them into a resolution to quit the 
 country altogether, and they set off this morning 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 125 
 
 to embark at Limerick for the States. My con- 
 gregation is now confined to a few policemen. 
 Ten years since, I have reckoned one hundred 
 in my church; but terror has gradually driven 
 them from a place where life and property is 
 not worth a pin's fee !" 
 
 * # # * 
 
 " A sealed letter with black, and bear- 
 ing the Jamaica postmark. My God! I dare 
 
 not open it !" 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " He is dead ! my brave my only boy ! 
 
 For the last three days excess of misery has 
 stupified me, and I have only awoke now to 
 the full consciousness of my loss. Frederick ! 
 
 Frederick ! my son, my son !" 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " Another day has passed, and I am 
 
 nearly frantic. Now do I feel the bereavement 
 I have undergone. Oh, God ! in what have I 
 offended, that the phial of thy wrath should thus 
 be poured on my devoted head ? Peace, sinful 
 man! To your closet, and there seek humble- 
 ness of spirit to bear thy Maker's visitation. 
 
126 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 My brain is burning. Oh, God ! preserve my 
 
 senses, and teach me patience under thy decrees." 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " 1834. I have risen from the bed of sick- 
 ness ten weeks of suffering but the Lord was 
 merciful, and the hand of death was stayed. 
 I am spared, alas ! for fresh misery. During 
 the period of my insensibility, the time allowed 
 for claiming relief from the million loan expired, 
 and we are destitute. We must sell the fur- 
 
 niture." 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " - Emily's cough is unabated, and I see 
 a hectic flush redden her pale cheeks occasionally. 
 Merciful Heaven ! spare me spare me my 
 darling child !" 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " - I dread to ask the fearful question. 
 Dr. Edwards is most kind, and redoubles his 
 attention. I have nothing but gratitude to offer. 
 May the Lord reward him !" 
 
 " - Ellen has procured some money, for 
 she showed me bank notes, and with a smile 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 127 
 
 told me we were wealthy still. Where could 
 that supply have been obtained? The produce 
 of my jaunting-car, I know, has been long since 
 exhausted." 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " The secret is discovered ; Ellen has 
 
 sold her harp. Her harp! the parting present 
 from our lamented Frederick !" 
 
 * # # * 
 
 " Emily is dying. The doctor has told 
 
 the worst, and hope is extinguished. Merciful 
 God ! support her unfortunate mother ! Could 
 I but procure the means of removing her to 
 the Continent, a milder climate might save her 
 yet. Will the executive of Ireland suffer the 
 rabble and their leaders to outrage the law of 
 the land openly, and establish a reign of terror ? 
 I entreated a trifle, almost as alms, from a man 
 indebted to me some hundreds; and his reply 
 was, that c if he paid me a shilling, his house 
 would be burned, and his cattle houghed.' Is 
 this a Christian land, and what rulers have we? 
 God pardon them the misery they have wrought 
 to me and mine !" 
 
128 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " -- "Tis over. The grass is withering on 
 the grave of Emily Emily, the beloved and 
 beautiful ; and her mother, like Rachel, refuses 
 to be comforted. I cannot weep, although my 
 brain is burning. Oh, my God, keep reason in 
 her seat, and send thy comfort to a mourning 
 mother." 
 
 "_ _ Mr. Jones, the neighbouring curate, 
 murdered in open day for attending the sick call 
 of a dying pensioner." 
 
 # * * * 
 
 " - Attempted to bury the pensioner, but 
 was assailed and hustled by the mob, who swore 
 they would throw me into the grave. Obliged 
 to leave the church-yard to save my life. The 
 priest, I am told, performed some ceremonies 
 after I was ejected." 
 
 # # # * 
 
 " - My wife suddenly attacked. It is 
 cholera. Her enfeebled constitution will render 
 
 her a certain victim." 
 
 # * * * 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 129 
 
 " The struggle is ended. Elizabeth, 
 
 wife of my love ! thou art at rest, and in a 
 better existence, united to your darling ones ! 
 Oh, that I were with you ! But not my will, 
 Lord, but thine be done !" 
 
 * * * * 
 
 " The monument to my son, erected by 
 
 his brother officers, has been placed above the 
 altar. It pays a noble tribute to the virtues of 
 my gallant boy. I read the inscription with 
 pride. How dear to a father is a dead son's 
 fame I" 
 
 I hurried over several pages. The melancholy 
 detail of continued suffering was harrowing. I 
 turned many leaves, and threw my eye over the 
 last entry in the book, which, as it would appear, 
 from the date, had been made only on the pre- 
 ceding day. 
 
 " The only shilling I possess has been 
 
 sent to buy a loaf. Ellen confessed our des- 
 titution and for the first time, her reliance on 
 Providence seems abated. I strove to banish 
 
 G 2 
 
130 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 her despondency, and assured her that I would 
 obtain fresh relief. I will try a friend one 
 whom I once saved from ruin by becoming his 
 security. Surely he will relieve me." 
 
 * # # # 
 
 The last extract ran thus : 
 
 " I am refused, and coarsely too. Alas, alas ! 
 how shall I tell Ellen that I return as penniless 
 as when I left home this morning !" 
 
 # # # * 
 
 I was called off suddenly to give evidence 
 before a court-martial, and three weeks elapsed 
 before I rejoined the detachment. Anxious to 
 visit Mr. Harley, I mounted my horse early next 
 morning and at noon reached the public-house 
 that is contiguous to the church-yard of Dun- 
 low. A funeral had entered it and while the 
 service was proceeding I strolled into the church 
 to shelter from a shower. The interior of the 
 building was ruinous the seats were dropping 
 to pieces, the pulpit door fallen from its hinges, 
 while, forming a singular contrast to the deso- 
 lation around it, a beautiful tablet of white 
 marble had been recently erected over the com- 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 131 
 
 munion-table. I looked at the inscription it 
 was headed 
 
 SACRED TO THE MEMORY 
 
 OF 
 
 MAJOR FREDERICK HARLEY, 
 
 A brave Soldier, and an accompkshed Gentleman. 
 
 And a nobler eulogy I never read. It was a just 
 one ; for the deceased had been a gallant soldier, 
 and bled at St. Sebastian, Orthez, and Waterloo. 
 The funeral soon was over the rain ceased 
 and I left the church to visit the rectory. 
 
 I found the white-headed sexton closing the 
 broken gate with stones, and asked him " if 
 Mr. Harley was at home?" He stared and I 
 repeated the question. The old man burst into 
 tears. " He is dead, sir we have just buried 
 him." 
 
 "Good God! was his death sudden?" 
 
 "No, sir; his heart for years was breaking. 
 He's gone the best of men the best of 
 masters !" 
 
 " And his daughter?" 
 
132 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " A kind lady, and one quite a stranger to 
 the family, heard of Mr. Harley's death, and 
 took Miss Ellen away yesterday." 
 
 " Then," I said, half aloud, " I need go no 
 farther." 
 
 " No, sir ; at the rectory there is nothing but 
 bare walls. The few articles of furniture which 
 remained, were removed, under a decree, by a 
 tradesman, before the old gentleman was cold." 
 
 " Gracious God ! and was this the end of a 
 Protestant dignitary ?" exclaimed the colonel. 
 
 It was but, good my Lord Morpeth, let not 
 this old man's martyrdom excite your sympathies 
 too powerfully. What boots it, that a com- 
 munity of educated and unoffending gentlemen 
 were sacrificed, w^ho, trusting to the sacredness of 
 their properties, dispensed with a liberal hand 
 the income they received, nor dreamed of the 
 destitution that awaited them. Pshaw ! my 
 lord it was their own obstinacy after all. You 
 extended your tender mercies to them, for a 
 consideration and they refused to prostitute 
 their principles for a mess of pottage. Have 
 you not gained your object ? and in Whig 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 133 
 
 morality the end, you know, justifies the means. 
 Yes, for a few brief years* it is possible you 
 may hold office. You have propitiated the 
 agitator, obtained the sweet voices of his tail, 
 and with the co-operation of some wretched 
 Protestants men who, if the foul fiend tendered 
 the bribe, would barter their salvation for a 
 borough you have for a time paralyzed the 
 power, and defeated the wealth, and talent, and 
 respectability of Great Britain. Is not this a 
 glorious boast for you and the homunculus of 
 Stroud ? Go on but, as the Scotch say, "bide 
 a wee" and if the degradation of your slave- 
 directed party be not commensurate with its 
 deserts, then is there, good my Lord Morpeth, 
 on this earth no political retribution. 
 
 The following day brought no improvement 
 in the weather. The rain fell still in torrents 
 the wind blew with increasing violence and at 
 night-fall the same good company encircled the 
 
 * This was written in 1835. 
 
134 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 colonel's ingle-side. The fire was heaped with 
 wood the curtains drawn the candles lighted 
 the decanters placed on the retired list and 
 the toddy-bowl, in solitary dignity, once more 
 occupied the centre of the board. 
 
 " What a gale it blows !" exclaimed the com- 
 mander as the big rain drops smote the case- 
 ment, and the gusts in quick succession came 
 roaring through the pine trees. " He would 
 be a bold man who would venture to cross the 
 moor to-night." 
 
 " He would, indeed," responded the lawyer. 
 " I hold myself the boldest of the company 
 and faith I would not, even for c a Jew's eye,' 
 make the attempt." 
 
 " A startling declaration," returned Captain 
 Bouverie. " ' The boldest in the company !' 
 See you not, sir, how bravely your chair is 
 flanked ? On one side, a Companion of the 
 Bath ; and on the other, a redoubted Die- 
 hard." 
 
 " To both," observed the lawyer, gravely, " I 
 will concede the gallantry their deeds deserve. 
 But although I have never figured in the ' im- 
 
THE DECEASED PLURALIST. 135 
 
 minent deadly breach,' nor careered across the 
 red field of Waterloo, ' seeking the bubble re- 
 putation' yet I account myself ' the bravest of 
 the brave.' I once travelled for four weeks, in 
 company with a gentleman from Connemara. 
 Have I not, colonel, as we say in Fig-tree 
 Court, made out a clear title 9 Dare man do 
 more ?" 
 
 "After that deed of desperation, your courage 
 must pass unquestioned. No doubt, sir, it was 
 an ordeal, through c perilous adventure,' and 
 moving accidents by flood and field.' ' 
 
 " We lawyers," replied the little gentleman 
 in black, " carry our professional habits into 
 the more ordinary occurrences. I note down 
 every important event ; and surely that most 
 adventurous epoch of my life would not escape 
 unregistered ? Here, sir, my tour is journal- 
 ised ; and if the colonel will permit me, I will 
 submit my wanderings to this company." 
 
 The proposition was willingly received ; and 
 after the candles hall been carefully snuffed, 
 the lawyer unclasped a red memorandum-book, 
 and thus detailed his adventures 
 
A TOUR -NOT SENTIMENTAL. 
 
 BY ONE WHO TRAVELLED WITH A GENTLEMAN FROM CONNEMARA. 
 
 " Don Juan bade his valet pack his things, 
 According to direction ; then received 
 A lecture and some money * * * * 
 She hoped he would improve perhaps believed ; 
 A letter, too, she gave (he never read it) 
 Of good advice and two or three of credit." 
 
 BYRON. 
 
 IT was in a saloon of the Palais Royal that I 
 first met Arthur Mac Dermott. The night was 
 wild, tempestuous, and disagreeable the wind 
 howled, and so did the dogs the rain splashed, 
 and so did the passengers I was heart-sick of 
 Paris tired of sights abominated theatres 
 discovered that my valet was a rogue, and my 
 mistress a roue had been jockeyed in the 
 morning, and jilted in the afternoon and not 
 
138 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 knowing how else to kill a dreary hour, as a 
 last resource, dropped into hell itself. 
 
 Every body plays Rouge et Noir, had they 
 but the honesty to acknowledge it ; and there- 
 fore, every body knows the locale of the table, 
 and the character of the company. On this 
 night there was the usual family party, with 
 some legs and some soft ones. A few small 
 merchants were peddling cautiously, and the 
 only dashing player had just been regularly 
 done up. 
 
 " May the curse of Cromwell attend you, 
 red and black !" ejaculated a tragi-comic voice, 
 which issued from the moustached lips of a 
 strapping Emeralder. I looked at the plucked 
 one he was a fine, stout, dark-haired fellow of 
 six feet high. "He will be in the morgue to- 
 morroAv," whispered a lemon-coloured dwarf, 
 with a nondescript ribbon at his button-hole, 
 "he has lost five hundred Napoleons." I ex- 
 amined the sufferer again. The Frenchman 
 was wrong the careless dare-devil insouciance 
 of the man, showed that he possessed the true 
 mercurial temperament indigenous to the land 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 139 
 
 of potatoes, which rises while fortune sinks, 
 and sets calamity at defiance. 
 
 While I still gazed at the unlucky gambler, 
 who had assumed his hat and gloves prepara- 
 tory to leaving the scene of his defeat, a 
 sudden thought struck me, that even yet luck 
 might change, and the poor fellow retrieve his 
 losses. I took ten Napoleons from my purse, 
 called him apart, and whispered my wishes. A 
 broad suspicious stare from the stranger was 
 succeeded by an inquiry of " whether I was 
 serious ?" On this point I satisfied him and 
 next moment he took out his ticket case, 
 begged me to interchange cards, and returned 
 as merrily to play, as if he had already netted 
 a thousand. 
 
 " The devil's in the fellow's carelessness, 
 said I, "the Naps are gone for ever;" and the 
 very first movement at the table, demolished a 
 moiety of my subsidy. In silence I cursed my 
 own folly and determining not to witness the 
 result, left the Palais Royal, and hastened to 
 my hotel, reprobating mankind, the elements, 
 and Rouge et Noir. 
 
 Some hours passed every lodger in the 
 
140 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 house was sleeping but myself, when a thun- 
 dering knocking threatened destruction to the 
 door, and the drowsy porter muttering curses 
 " deep, not loud," rose to parley with the un- 
 timely visitor. A colloquy in broken English 
 ensued. My name was mentioned "Monsieur 
 is in bed Monsieur is not visible' 9 
 
 " Bedershin, my jewel !" returned a voice 
 whose tones I began to recollect " visible or 
 not visible, I'll see him. I will, by every 
 thing that's fortunate ;" and in the briefest 
 space imaginable, the black-whiskered adven- 
 turer of the Palais Royal bore down all oppo- 
 sition, and was standing at my bed-side. 
 
 "We have been lucky, my darling boy," ex- 
 claimed the excited Milesian, as he flung a 
 handkerchief filled with notes and gold coin 
 upon the coverlet. " The old girl of the 
 Avheel proved herself a gentlewoman, and stuck 
 to me like bird-lime, 'till by St. Patrick, I 
 cleaned out the company broke the bank 
 and now for a division." 
 
 "A division I have no claim beyond a 
 return of the sum I lent you," said I. 
 
 " No claim ! arrah naboclish ; were we regular 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 141 
 
 co-partners in trade," replied my loving coun- 
 tryman. I denied altogether the existence of 
 the firm and after a stout demur on his part, 
 received my ten Napoleons, with a squeeze of 
 the hand that left mine aching for an hour 
 afterwards. Taking up his hat, Mr. Mac 
 Dermott rolled up his treasure in the handker- 
 chief, secured it with a knot, and promising 
 that he would see me early next day, was in 
 the act of taking leave, when the porter 
 knocked and was admitted. He came up to 
 say that he had observed two men, of very 
 suspicious appearance, loitering before the hotel, 
 and had no doubt but that they had dogged 
 the stranger thither, with evil designs against 
 his person or his purse. 
 
 The windows of my sitting room commanded 
 a view of the street, and leaving the candles 
 in my chamber, to prevent our being discovered 
 by those without, we peeped cautiously abroad. 
 The light was variable, as the clouds careered 
 across the moon, but presently she shone 
 brilliantly for a moment, and in the passing 
 gleam, we saw two figures such as the servant 
 described, lurking in the opposite porte cache. 
 
142 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 The truth was evident. The successful gam- 
 bler had been pursued from that sink of villany, 
 the Palais Royal, and the ruffians outside were 
 waiting his return from the hotel to rob and 
 most probably murder him. I shuddered when 
 I thought how narrowly the unconscious victim 
 had escaped assassination. 
 
 " Now what the plague can these fellows 
 want with me ?" inquired my countryman, 
 with provoking indifference. 
 
 The porter grinned, shrugged his shoulders, 
 and replied with a polite bow, " nothing more 
 than to qualify Monsieur for the morgue in the 
 morning." 
 
 " Phew !" said the Milesian with a peculiar 
 whistle, "and is it that they're after? Well, 
 I have the luck of thousands to-night. I saw 
 a very dacent looking pair of marking-irons on 
 your table. I'll borrow them if you please. 
 Just when I go out, do you lift the window, 
 and if in the course of your travels, you ever 
 saw a couple of private gentlemen more beau- 
 tifully taken in, never trust me with the tools 
 in future." 
 
 " Now, would it not save you some trouble, 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 143 
 
 and me a charge or two of powder, if you 
 would not interfere with the executioner, and 
 remain contented for a few hours where you 
 are ? There is an excellent sofa, wood enough 
 in the grate, candles, wine, and you can make 
 a pillow of your property, and sleep upon 
 Napoleons and bank notes." 
 
 " Egad you are right, but 
 
 " You are dying for a row," said I. 
 
 " Why, faith, I would give a few pieces to 
 accommodate the scoundrels with the wrong 
 metal, and while they expected gold, make lead 
 answer." 
 
 a Well, I have no doubt, that finishing a 
 brace of cut-throats would make a pleasant 
 wind-up to a night of play ; but still I recom- 
 mend the sofa to you, and them to the hang- 
 man." 
 
 " You are right," said Mac Dermott, a but 
 it is unfair to let the honest men without 
 waste time in useless expectation." He opened 
 the window. " Gentlemen of the pave ! the 
 top of the morning to ye, as we say in Tip- 
 perary. Toddle off if ye please. I'm going 
 
144 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 to practise at the post beside you, and as the 
 light's but indifferent, I might mistake the 
 mark, and shoot into the gateway." 
 
 The address of Mr. Mac Dermott was under- 
 stood and indeed it would be surprising had 
 it not, as he delivered it in three languages, 
 namely, English, Irish, and French. A 
 shuffling of feet, a muttered sacre ! and a mo- 
 mentary glimpse of two persons stealing round 
 the corner, showed that the hint had been 
 attended to. 
 
 In a little time my unexpected guest had 
 arranged the sofa to his perfect satisfaction, 
 heaped on a blazing wood fire, fortified his 
 stomach with by far the larger portion of a 
 bottle of Lafitte, and long before I could com- 
 pose myself to sleep in the inner chamber, 
 a heavy breathing in the outer one, told that 
 he was " fast as a watchman." 
 
 I could not rest, thinking of the wild and 
 reckless personage to whom I had been so sin- 
 gularly introduced, and had been providentially 
 so serviceable. By my assistance he had re- 
 trieved his shipwrecked fortunes ; and but for 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 145 
 
 me, he would have been at the bottom of the 
 Seine, or lying in some gloomy by-street, with 
 a gashed throat. I half regretted, on his account, 
 that I was to leave Paris next day, as the chances 
 were great that he would be ruined in a week 
 or two. I fell asleep at last, and when I awoke 
 late in the morning, the first sound that met my 
 ear was the voice of the fortunate gambler 
 croning an Irish ditty in the next apartment. 
 I rose, dressed, joined him, and we sat down 
 to breakfast. 
 
 The stranger thanked me heartily for all his 
 recent good fortune. He seemed, on a longer 
 acquaintance, to be a very curious medley 
 brave, thoughtless, generous, silly, and acute. 
 I felt some anxiety about him and regretted 
 that I must leave him to the tender mercies of 
 the world ; and these feelings I expressed. 
 
 " And why do you leave Paris and where 
 are you going ?" said the Irishman. 
 
 " God knows where," was the reply. 
 
 "I wish you would take me with you!" said 
 he of the Palais Royal. 
 
146 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 I smiled. " You do not know where I am 
 bound for." 
 
 "Pshaw! no matter for that; Pekin or St. 
 Petersburgh Milan or Mexico no matter ; any 
 place but Ireland." 
 
 " And wherefore is Ireland objectionable to 
 so disinterested a tourist?" I inquired. 
 
 " Why simply because there I am a dead 
 man and it would be a great inconvenience to 
 a large and affectionate family like mine, were 
 they obliged to suddenly discard their mouining." 
 
 " Really," said I, " you are a little incom- 
 prehensible." 
 
 " Well take me with you, and some wet day 
 111 tell you every thing concerning my life, 
 death, and resurrection." 
 
 I declined the offer as delicately as possible 
 but Pat was no man to be easily discouraged, 
 and so very ingenious were ^his arguments, that 
 I demanded an hour for consideration, while he 
 adjourned to his hotel and dressed. 
 
 Leaving his effects, handkerchief and all, in 
 my safe custody, he departed, made his toilette, 
 and in good time reappeared. 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 147 
 
 I had in tjie interim weighed his proposition. 
 I might, probably, save him from ruin but I 
 might, as probably, greatly inconvenience myself in 
 doing so. My tastes and habits were formed 
 he was the weather- cock of the moment. I 
 was ten years older, and past the hey-day of 
 life he had not touched its meridian. All this 
 considered, I felt as much perplexed to refuse his 
 request as I was fearful in acceding to it and 
 in this uncertainty he found me. 
 
 " Come, my dear friend," he exclaimed, his 
 dark eye sparkling with pleasure, u I know you'll 
 take me with you. I told them at home I was 
 preparing for a start, and desired the rascal who 
 robs and dresses me to have all packed. Say 
 but the word, and in the snapping of a flint I'm 
 ready for the road. Land or sea hill or 
 valley all one. Come, say yes I know you 
 will!" 
 
 " Mr. Mac Dermott I have considered your 
 proposal. On certain terms / will consent to 
 our becoming fellow-adventurers on the road, 
 and sign articles of copartnership in a calash." 
 
 " Arrah, name them, and I say, done.''' 
 
148 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " Attend," I replied. " Imprimis You are 
 to fight no duel during the expedition, unless 
 that I carry the message." 
 
 " Beautiful/' said Mr. Mac Dermott. 
 
 " Second You are not to quarrel when you 
 can avoid it." 
 
 " Nothing fairer !" was the response. 
 
 " Third You are to pledge your honour, as 
 a gentleman, that during our confederacy you 
 will not play, directly or indirectly." 
 
 Pat placed his hand upon his bosom, and 
 nodded an affirmation. 
 
 " Fourth You are not to carry off any man's 
 wife or daughter, without giving me six hours' 
 clear notice, to enable me to run away in an 
 opposite direction." 
 
 " With all my heart." 
 
 " And lastly All moneys are to be deposited 
 with Lafitte, save one hundred pounds as a 
 moiety of common expenses, over which I am 
 to be absolute, with fifty Napoleons for the 
 privy purse, to be expended by Mr. Mac Dermott, 
 ad libitum, in gingerbread, bon bons, or for 
 any other proper consideration." 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 149 
 
 " Arrah, my dear friend do make it the 
 hundred; Fifty's a crooked number; and even 
 money, they say, keeps the devil out of one's 
 pocket. Say, the hundred and take my blessing." 
 
 "Well, well, I must consent," said I, " and 
 now let us be off, to bank your money and get 
 the passports." 
 
 All was done accordingly, and next morning 
 we passed the barriers of Paris, and turned our 
 faces to the Rhine. 
 
 I firmly believe, that no man had ever under- 
 taken to become bear-leader to a more untamed 
 personage; nor did a more unpromising pupil 
 ever fall to the lot of a philosopher to reclaim. 
 It is true, that in him there was no deception 
 no duplicity in word or action. Eye, look, and 
 bearing all put one on their guard and like 
 a board upon a garden, his face gave legal 
 notice that the premises within were dangerous. 
 
 I hate your smooth and oily moralist. I had 
 once an acquaintance of the class who used 
 the commonest business of life to point some 
 adage for the benefit of the listener. He had 
 the most sympathetic sigh imaginable, and 
 
150 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 drew upon tears at sight. After a ten years' 
 intimacy, he accommodated me with a spavined 
 horse, and took away a nursemaid from a family 
 to whom I had introduced him as immaculate. 
 Since then, I have eschewed professed morality, 
 and exclaim, with Sir Peter Teazle "Rowley, 
 if you regard me, never let me hear you utter 
 any thing like a sentiment. I have had 
 enough of that to last the remainder of my 
 life !" 
 
 * * * * 
 
 We had delightful weather passed Chalons 
 sur Marne, and St. Diziere ; halted at Nancy, 
 and established ourselves in the Place Royal. 
 The ancient capital of Lorraine is indeed a 
 charming town; wide streets, well built houses, 
 and good hotels. 
 
 King Stanislaus, to whom the French ascribe 
 the beauties of the old, and the founding of 
 the new town, is buried in the Fauxbourgh St. 
 Pierre. We visited, in company with a learned 
 guide, the library, which contains forty thou- 
 sand volumes, and a few manuscripts. Of the 
 latter, the most interesting showed to us was 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 151 
 
 an autograph letter of Henry IV. to a fa- 
 vourite general. I regarded, of course, the 
 royal hand-writing with fitting reverence. Mac, 
 however, brusquely observed, that " it was a 
 cursed cramped piece of penmanship, that even 
 an apothecary could not read ;" and resumed 
 his station at the window, to watch the pro- 
 gress of a bargain which a very pretty soubrette 
 was driving with a fruitwoman in the street. 
 
 Dined ; wine excellent of which Mac car- 
 ried off two bottles ; went to the theatre ; play, 
 Othello nearly a translation from our own, 
 only that " the old man's daughter" clears her 
 character, and escapes strangulation. Mac, at 
 the conclusion, " non est inventus" Found 
 him, however, ready for the road next morning. 
 Lest he should oversleep himself, I suppose, he 
 had prudently sat up all night. Made up for lost 
 slumbers on the road. I'll sleep him in a car- 
 riage for a hundred, against any body produced 
 barring a watchman. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 I have been amused with my companion's 
 predilection for the " ould country." Every 
 
152 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 thing we see is tested by a native standard ; 
 for, according to Mac, Eve was an Irish- 
 woman, and Eden situated on the banks of the 
 Shannon. Excepting Mr. Daniel O'Connell, I 
 have never known so enthusiastic an admirer 
 of the Emerald Isle, or one who gives his 
 countrymen a better character. The only dif- 
 ference between the parties is, that Daniel says 
 what he does not think, " for a consideration" 
 while Mac thinks what he says, and does it 
 
 gratuitously. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 From Nancy to Strasburgh, the route not 
 very interesting, but some views from the 
 heights of Saurne very picturesque ; the road 
 approaching Strasburgh fine, and planted with 
 walnut trees at equal distances, which afford 
 the traveller a grateful shelter from the sun. I 
 was lavish in my praises but Mac compared 
 it with a certain line in Connaught, " where 
 even a drunken postboy could not find a jolt 
 for you in a day's drive; and in a dozen miles 
 you could not pick up a pebble large enough 
 to smash a window with." I never had the 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 153 
 
 luck to travel the line in question. I wonder 
 where it lies ? 
 
 * * * * 
 
 Strasburgh. Cantoned at the Hotel de 
 1'Esprit, very comfortable ; and here we will 
 abide until we examine this ancient city. 
 
 The first thing generally pointed to the tra- 
 veller's attention is that chef d'oeuvre of 
 Pigalli the marble monument of Marischal 
 Saxe, standing in the church of St. Thomas.* 
 
 My companion listened more attentively than 
 usual to the guide as he enumerated the beau- 
 ties of the monument ; and after a heavy sigh, 
 remarked 
 
 " I knew him when I was a lad, and a 
 
 * The design is chaste and beautiful. On one side a weeping 
 figure is contemplating the hero, holding a reversed flambeau be- 
 neath exalted trophies ; while just below, a female, representing 
 France, endeavours to retain the marischal, and repulse death. 
 The latter, a well-conceived figure, most of whose skeleton and 
 hip is concealed by a finely executed drapery, holds in one 
 hand an hour-glass and with the other points expressively to 
 the tomb, to which the marischal, with firmness and dignity, 
 approaches. Beyond, a Hercules in tears is seen. The whole 
 is nobly executed. 
 
 H 2 
 
154 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 better soul never stretched his legs below a 
 mess-table !" 
 
 " Knew whom ?" I exclaimed in astonishment. 
 
 " Why him there Marischal Saxe." 
 
 " Pardonnez," said the guide, " Monsieur 
 must be in error." 
 
 " The deuce an error," replied Mr. Mac 
 Dermott. " But what an expense the family 
 must have gone to ? and he would have lain 
 just as snug and warm in the old church of 
 Clonmel." 
 
 The guide stared ; I was horrified ; and Mac 
 continued 
 
 " Poor fellow he could never stand a joke; 
 and that, you know, is the sure way for a man 
 to keep a nick-name. May be you never heard 
 how he came by it, sir ?" and he addressed 
 the guide, who grinned, and bowed to the 
 ground. 
 
 " You must know," said Mac, " that the old 
 man, his father, was a miller, and made his 
 money in the grain trade. Well he bought 
 property in the county, until at last he got 
 the Tipperary militia for his son. The first 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 155 
 
 day the colonel appeared in regimentals that's 
 the son, I mean at the head of the corps, says 
 a blind aid-de-camp to Major O'Callaghan 
 6 Arrah, who the devil's that?' < Who should 
 it be,' says the major, c but Marshal Sacks 
 ( Saxe), with the flour (flower) of Tipperary at his 
 back.' How a name sticks ! I wonder what made 
 the family plant him here, though ; but, faith, they 
 did the thing decently. Lord, what money it 
 must have cost ! Many a tenant was driven to 
 pay for old Father Barebones there." 
 
 Was there ever such a villain ? To confound 
 a departed hero with a dead militia man ! 
 
 From St. Thomas's we proceeded to visit 
 the cathedral, whose celebrated spire is said to 
 be the highest in the world. Half way up, we 
 reached a platform commanding a magnificent 
 view of the Rhine, the plains of Hohenlinden, 
 and an immense expanse of most interesting 
 scenery, terminated on one side by the German 
 mountains, at whose feet the river serpentines 
 from south to north; and on the other, by Ho- 
 henlinden and the heights of Alsace. Never 
 were travellers rewarded with a more glorious 
 
156 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 prospect than this diversified landscape and 
 ' ' battle-plain" presented. 
 
 " Is it not worth a pilgrimage?" I raptu- 
 rously exclaimed to my companion. 
 
 " Faith, it's a pretty view enough," he re- 
 plied ; " but then to mount three hundred and 
 forty steps, for I counted them Och, if you 
 were only, of a bright summer's day, on the 
 top of Carrig-a-binnioge ! But that beats the 
 world, and there is no use in talking of it 
 now." 
 
 I could have knocked my pupil down, had I 
 not feared that in the hurry he might have for- 
 gotten that I was his Gamaliel, and retaliated 
 to the danger of my person. 
 
 The whole appearance of Strasburgh will 
 rather disappoint the traveller. It has all the 
 inconveniences of a French town narrow streets, 
 bad pavements, and no flagways. It is (or 
 was) a great place of trade a depot for that of 
 France, Germany, Italy, and Switzerland. All 
 now looks dull the theatre is badly attended 
 and Mr. Mac Dermott, after a patient inves- 
 tigation, declares he saw but five pretty women 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 157 
 
 in Strasburgh this is astonishing, for I have 
 no doubt that his researches were extensive. 
 
 One of the greatest curiosities here is the 
 fish-market. The fish are offered to purchasers 
 alive, being preserved in large water-tanks. I 
 am assured that .upwards of fifty kinds are oc- 
 casionally exposed for sale, embracing every 
 variety from a sprat to a sturgeon ! Mr. Mac 
 acknowledged "the thing was very pretty-look- 
 ing. But, for eating, God help him ! he had 
 no ambition. He was easily pleased. Give him 
 a Galway turbot, a Boyne salmon, a Toom eel, 
 or even a Bann trout, and he could live for a 
 day or two with a Catholic family but then he 
 was no epicure." 
 
 The fellow's intolerable he hits me now and 
 again, and pretty hard, and here he had me 
 confoundedly. If Apicius himself were choosing 
 a fish dinner, where could he match Mr. Mac 
 Dermott's selection? 
 
 A great quantity of wine is annually produced 
 in this part of France. The " vin ordinaire' at 
 dinner and very excellent it was cost but 
 twenty sous the bottle the very oldest and 
 
158 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 best " vin du Rhin," only six francs. Indeed, as 
 Mr. Mac Dermott remarked, " it was just the 
 place where a prudent man could drink himself 
 
 rich." 
 
 * * # * 
 
 We proceeded on our route,, reached Basle in 
 the evening, and established ourselves at the 
 Crown Inn in full view of the Rhine, and only 
 distant from it by the length of the street. 
 
 Having hired a guide, we set off to view the 
 cathedral. Our cicerone was an old man, who 
 spoke English remarkably well. He had lived 
 in the household of Cardinal Fesch, whose family, 
 he says, were originally fishmongers. A lucky 
 trade to produce such men as Crockford and the 
 cardinal ! 
 
 From the cathedral we adjourned to the 
 panorama, which gives an excellent idea of Basle. 
 The artist obliged us with a view of two ori- 
 ginals of the old masters, " A Virgin and Child," 
 a sweet painting by Raphael ; and " A taking 
 down from the Cross," one of Holbein's best 
 pictures. By a fanciful conception of the artist, 
 the devil is introduced in the act of carrying off 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 159 
 
 the unbelieving thief. Mr. Mac was rather chary 
 in his commendations of honest Hans' chef 
 d'oeuvre. "The painting/' he admitted, "was 
 well enough, if he had left the devil out but 
 where was the use in frightening people?" The 
 artist listened to my friend's critique with all 
 the "politesse" of a Frenchman, but shrugged his 
 shoulders, and I suspect, were he employed to 
 collect a gallery, would not select Mr. Mac 
 Dermott as a coadjutor. 
 
 We spent the remainder of the morning in 
 the public gardens, which are beautifully orna- 
 mented with waterworks, Chinese bridges, &c. At 
 four we dined discussed two flasks of exquisite 
 " vin du Rhin" when Mr. Mac Dermott requested 
 to be accommodated with a third one, pleading 
 in excuse, his great exertions during the morn- 
 ing. It is astonishing how many good and 
 sufficient apologies he discovers, when an extra 
 bottle is required and indeed, since we left 
 Paris, he appears, as poor Lord Louth used to 
 say, to have " an unquenchable thirst upon him." 
 We start in the morning for Schaffhausen to 
 view the Falls of the Rhine. 
 
160 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 We passed in our route the interesting village 
 of Angst the Angustu Rauracorum of the 
 Romans. Here many antiquities of great value 
 have been, from time to time, discovered. I 
 purchased some ornaments in bronze, with a few 
 coins, and examined the ruins of a temple, bath, 
 and theatre. Mr. Mac declined to accompany 
 me in these researches. He had established a 
 smart flirtation with the hostess of the Black 
 Eagle, and to every antiquarian inducement 
 sported u deaf adder." a What novelty was a 
 Roman village to him ? Within twenty miles 
 of his father's, there was but one Protestant, 
 and that was the parson. His assistant was a 
 Catholic, and like ' the clerk of Ballyhain,' when 
 he finished at church, he 'served mass after- 
 wards/ Roman villages ! he would be glad to 
 know where there were any else, from one end 
 of Connemara to the other ?" 
 
 We crossed to the left bank of the river, by 
 the wooden bridge at Rhinfelden, and four 
 leagues farther recrossed at Lanffenburgh, near 
 the salmon fishery. We were now within two 
 miles of Waldshut, but the rain fell with such 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 161 
 
 violence that we halted for the night at a small 
 and unpretending inn, where, notwithstanding, 
 our supper, wine, and beds were excellent. The 
 bill was moderate enough : for all these, but 
 eight and a half francs ! 
 
 We resumed our journey under, it appeared, 
 fortunate auspices, as the guide acquainted us 
 that in the morning he had lighted his candle 
 at the Virgin's lamp, which is kept burning all 
 the night. Our route lay partly through the 
 Black Forest, and it was wild and gloomy 
 enough. Near Waldshut the Rhine is prettily 
 studded by numerous islands and, with' its forest 
 scenery and picturesque mountains, forms alto- 
 gether an interesting scene. 
 
 It was evening when we reached Schaffhausen, 
 and immediately proceeded to view the cele- 
 brated Falls of the Rhine, which are about two 
 miles from the town. The cataract, the broadest 
 in Europe, presents one of the most extraordinary 
 scenes imaginable. The castle of Lanfen stands 
 on the rocks above it, and from beneath we 
 viewed the Falls, till the spray had penetrated 
 our clothes, and obliged us to take up another 
 
162 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 position. The noise is astounding, and as Mac 
 remarked, " a man could not hear his own ears." 
 Huge fragments of rocks divide the sheet of 
 tumbling water into four parts, which hurries 
 "in foam and fury" into the deep basin at the 
 base of the ledge. The height of the fall varies 
 considerably, and it is said to be greatest about 
 the end of June. It appeared now to be about 
 seventy feet, but formerly it was much higher, 
 for the ledge has been progressively washed away 
 by the violence of the water. I think the best 
 point to view the Falls is in front, and from the 
 castle of Inn what. 
 
 We proceeded by the right bank of the river 
 to Constance, and on our arrival, procured a 
 guide, and set out to visit its celebrated hall. 
 Here in 1414, the famous council was held, 
 which condemned to the flames John Huss and 
 Jerome of Prague, and ordered the bones of 
 Wickliff, then thirty years dead, to be exhumed 
 and given to the fire. The chairs which the 
 emperor and the pope occupied during the trial, 
 are preserved and exhibited. This hall was built 
 in 1348, and is now used for storing merchan- 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 163 
 
 dize, brought to the city for sale at the fair. 
 A wretched little house is shown near one of 
 the gates, where Huss was apprehended : his bust 
 is placed above the door, with the date beneath 
 it, 1414. The convent in which he was con- 
 fined is now turned to a better purpose, and 
 used for a manufactory. 
 
 We left the " Aigle d'or" at Constance, and 
 passing the beautiful village of Franenfield, found 
 ourselves comfortably seated at dinner in the 
 auberge " L'Epee," in the town of Zurich. The 
 house in which Lavater resided, and the church 
 in which he officiated, were close to our hotel. 
 In the evening we visited the library, which 
 contains forty-five thousand volumes, and among 
 other literary curiosities, some original letters of 
 Lady Jane Grey. Although very anxious, I 
 was unsuccessful in my endeavour to get a sight 
 of these interesting manuscripts, and expressed 
 regret at my failure. Mr. Mac Dermott, how- 
 ever, exhibited no sympathy for my disappoint- 
 ment. " For the life of him," he said, " he could 
 not imagine what fancy I had for such things. 
 Sure nobody wrote letters but tailors, attorneys, 
 
164 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 and old women ; they were all to one tune 
 duns and good advice and no gentleman minded 
 either. Many a time his poor father had bid 
 6 bad luck to the music/ when he heard the 
 mail-horn for, as he said, ' there was nothing 
 but botheration in the bag.' God be with the 
 time, when in Connemara the post came in but 
 once a fortnight, and the king's writ was not 
 worth a traneen.* He, Mr. Mac, had not the 
 honour of knowing Lady Jane ; he supposed she 
 was sister to Lady Morgan, and if she wrote 
 Greek and Algebra like her, her letters would 
 be a small loss, for none but a priest could make 
 them out." 
 
 After this lecture upon letters and ladies, we 
 continued our ramble over Zurich. The streets 
 are narrow and ill constructed the churches not 
 worth attention the arsenal, to one who has 
 seen the Tower, contemptible. It contains, how- 
 ever, one relic worth all its arms besides the 
 cross-bow of William Tell. 
 
 The last thing we visited was the observatory. 
 
 * Anglice a straw. 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 165 
 
 The situation of the building is good, and com- 
 mands north and south, an extensive prospect 
 but it is otherwise a wretched affair. It contained 
 a transit instrument of clumsy workmanship, a 
 bad clock, a bad telescope, with a tolerable re- 
 peating circle, of English make and these com- 
 prised its instruments. We learned, however, 
 one very interesting fact : the astronomer dines 
 at noon, and the sun himself is not more regular 
 in his movements, than the professor in his meals ! 
 To-morrow we shall bid this beautiful town 
 farewell. Mr. Mac Dermott has made an ac- 
 quaintance with an Austrian colonel, a pleasant 
 fellow enough, whom we met here, en route to 
 Paris, with his lady. Mac and the commander 
 have vowed an eternal friendship, over a " stoup 
 of Rhenish," and I suspect that Madame is a 
 contracting party to the treaty. Our respective 
 courses, thank God, are very opposite were 
 they not, agreeable to article four^ I fancy Mr. 
 Mac would favour me some evening with a six 
 hours' notice to be off. There they go, arm in 
 arm ! Well, if the colonel is contented, what 
 right have I to complain? 
 
166 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 * * # # 
 
 The sun was shining gloriously as we toiled 
 up the mountain road that leads from Zurich to 
 Zong, a distance of about fifteen miles. We 
 halted on the summit of a hill, and breakfasted 
 at a small auberge, which commands a beautiful 
 view of the lake and town. Passing through 
 Baur, we reached Zong at noon, took up our 
 quarters at the " Cerf,'' and accompanied by 
 u mine host," a remarkably fine young man, set 
 off to visit the nunnery. 
 
 From the inmates of the convent we received 
 a polite reception. We found them instructing 
 a number of interesting girls in French and 
 music and, to judge from sundry articles of 
 female workmanship which we purchased, the 
 pupils were proficients in painting, and the fa- 
 brication of those little elegancies of art, in 
 which the fairer sex excel. It was astonishing 
 how soon Mr. Mac Dermott, who had been 
 rather dolorous since he parted with the colonel 
 and his lady, recovered his spirits. Of fancy 
 works he declared himself an admirer and in 
 pincushions, a perfect connoisseur. As he seemed 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 167 
 
 likely to prove a profitable customer his wants 
 being many he found favour with the sister- 
 hood, till alas ! a lynx-eyed religieuse detected 
 him pressing the hand of a novice, with whom 
 he was bargaining for a pencil-case. Such sin- 
 ful proceedings on the part of a good Catholic 
 were deplorable I felt my face redden while 
 my companion, with unblushing assurance, looked 
 innocent of guile, as if he had been offering up 
 an " Ave Mary," instead of making unholy 
 advances to the very prettiest of these " maids 
 of heaven." 
 
 From this blessed bazaar we proceeded to the 
 chapel, where there is an extensive ossiary, every 
 skull bearing the name of the quondam pro- 
 prietor. The tombs in the burying ground 
 adjacent are decorated with metal crosses, pret- 
 tily gilt and painted, on most of which an epi- 
 taph is inscribed, together with a miniature of 
 the departed. Here is a very curious piece of 
 sculpture. The design is taken from the book of 
 Revelations, and represents the angel coming down 
 from heaven with a chain to bind Satan for a 
 thousand years, when the Millennium is to com- 
 
168 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 mence. The features are beautifully executed. 
 Mac declared, however, that a worse tempered man 
 than the devil looked, he had never met with 
 in his travels ; " but it was no wonder since he 
 was to be strapped up neck and heels like a 
 deserter, and that too by an old acquaintance." 
 
 Berne is beautifully situated on the slope of 
 a hill, at the base of which the river Aar 
 winds. The houses are built with cut stone, the 
 streets wide and clean, the pathways flagged and 
 arched over, which renders them a dry pro- 
 menade in all weathers, and in sunshine par- 
 ticularly agreeable. The Gothic cathedral, with 
 its admired steeple, the hospital (Eglise du St. 
 Esprit) rebuilt in 1722, the library of thirty 
 thousand volumes and fifteen hundred manu- 
 scripts, the small museum of natural history, 
 and the botanic gardens, are all exceedingly in- 
 teresting, and Berne is reckoned one of the most 
 desirable residences in Switzerland. Our guide 
 acquainted us that here Haller was born, (his 
 picture may be seen in the museum,) and the 
 best gunpowder in Europe was manufactured 
 near the town. Mr. Mac doubted whether Hall 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 169 
 
 or Harvey were not as good ; but as he 
 recommended it, he, Mac, would try a can- 
 nister or two of Haller's." Was there ever 
 such a Vandal ? 
 
 We left for Lausanne next day, and reached 
 Morat for dinner. The town is situated on 
 a lake of the same name, but wants those 
 charms of Swiss scenery, wood and mountain. 
 It is celebrated as the scene of the defeat of 
 Charles the Bold, in 1476 ; and a little chapel, 
 filled with the bones of those that fell, bears 
 this pithy inscription : " The army of Charles 
 the Bold, besieging Morat, left this monument 
 of its passage." Mr. Mac Dermott observed 
 that "they might call him 'bold' here; but 
 he was too timid in London, or he would 
 never have popped his head out of Lord 
 Melbourne's middle window to lay it on the 
 block. Many a time he had looked at it 
 (the window) while kicking his heels at the 
 Horse Guards." It was useless to explain ; 
 Mac confounded the martyr of England with 
 the daring Duke of Normandy N' import e. 
 
 We reached Geneva early next morning. 
 
170 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 The town stands on a rising ground above 
 the lake, and is divided by the " dark blue 
 waters" of the Rhone. Excepting the library 
 there is little to interest the tourist, although 
 the trader will have much in its extensive 
 manufactures to admire. At the distance of 
 a league from Geneva, stands Byron's favourite 
 chateau. When here in 1816, I visited him 
 in company with a friend. Unfortunately his 
 lordship had been severely indisposed, and 
 obliged for several days to keep his room. 
 He sent us a kind message by his servant, 
 regretting his inability to receive us, accom- 
 panied by the key of the garden, and a 
 request that we would cut some fruit, and 
 walk on the balcony, which commanded a 
 magnificent view of the lake as far as the 
 castle of Chillon. As we passed one of the 
 windows, we saw the poet lying on a sofa, 
 and he saluted us. He seemed as if in 
 pain ; and one momentary glance at his fine 
 and intelligent face plainly told, that he 
 suffered from bodily ailment far less than from 
 the agony of " a mind diseased." 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 171 
 
 We left Geneva to visit the interesting 
 valley of Chamouni, in a small and coarsely- 
 built four-wheeled carriage, drawn by a pair 
 of mules. The narrowness and roughness of 
 the road render it impracticable for more com- 
 fortable vehicles. On our route, we stopped 
 to view the cascade of Chede. As the water 
 was abundant, and the fall is computed at 
 three hundred feet, it forms an interesting object. 
 The morning was remarkably fine, and the sun- 
 beams falling on the spray formed the most 
 beautiful iris I ever looked at. While I was 
 gazing with delight upon this splendid bow, 
 Mr. Mac Dermott had discovered a more 
 engrossing feature in the scene a very pretty 
 girl, employed in sketching the cascade. 
 
 For the soul of me, I cannot comprehend 
 by what freemasonry the fellow manages to 
 slip into society with persons from all corners 
 of the earth, and with whose very existence 
 he had been previously unacquainted. Surely 
 that look and brogue of his are sufficient to 
 alarm an Amazon and yet, before I had 
 completed a hasty survey of the rainbow, he 
 
172 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 was pointing pencils for the fair artist, and 
 basking in the sunshine of the brightest blue 
 eye that ever undone a traveller ! But the 
 old man, her father, approaches ; he will bring 
 pencil-cutting to a close, and mar the tete-a-tete. 
 God help me ! never was I more astray. 
 There is an interchange of smiles and snuff 
 between the parties. Macs " Masulipitan" is 
 requited with the stranger's " Strasburg"- 
 and in five minutes I expect to see the 
 whole group contract an eternal friendship, 
 and register it in heaven upon all the 
 beauties of the cascade ! 
 
 As I anticipated, the mischief is done. 
 The old man and his daughter are bound 
 for Chamouni and Mac has made it exceed- 
 ingly plain, that the interests of all require 
 us to occupy the same inn and table, and 
 establish a sort of travelling copartnership. 
 The father, of course, will be turned over 
 to my attentions, while my worthy com- 
 panion superintends the lady and her portfolio. 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 173 
 
 Well, no matter for a day or two the old 
 man looks intelligent and I'll submit. 
 
 Proceeding on our route, accompanied by 
 the strangers in a small caleche, we ascended 
 the hill and reached the lake, which bears 
 the same name of the fall we had been viewing. 
 Still toiling on, we gained Lezouche, to which 
 the glaciers of Mont Blanc approximate. 
 Short as the ascent was, the changes in 
 atmospheric temperature were most rapid. At 
 the fall the thermometer stood at seventy-eight 
 degrees; on the hill above the lake it sank to 
 seventy degrees ; and on the highest level of 
 the road, where we turned aside to gain a 
 better prospect of the glaciers, placed upon the 
 snow, it fell to thirty-two degrees. A cold 
 shower hurried us on to Chamouni, and we 
 were happy to find ourselves safe from the 
 weather at the Hotel de Londres. 
 
 The village is very small. It contains but 
 the priory and a few houses. The museum 
 of minerals, however, is worth attention; and 
 the old gentleman, after dinner, accompanied 
 me to visit this cabinet. The demoiselle 
 
174 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 proceeded with her sketch, and Mr. Mac 
 remained with madame, to aid, comfort, and 
 point the pencils. 
 
 # # * * 
 
 At seven o'clock next morning we commenced 
 the ascent of Montauvert, elevated two thousand 
 six hundred feet above the valley of Chamouni. 
 Our mules carried us about half way, when the 
 steeps became so frequent and abrupt that we were 
 obliged to dismount and send the quadrupeds 
 back. The road, or rather pathway from the 
 valley, is rapid in ascent, but not dangerous, 
 and runs through a forest of pines and larch 
 trees. Three hours' toil completed the journey, 
 and placed us before the temple on the summit. 
 
 The view from this is grand beyond descrip- 
 tion. To the south we saw the Noir Aiguelle 
 of Charmay ; on the north, the Eougeatre 
 de Dru, six thousand feet higher than the 
 spot whereon we stood, from which it is separated 
 by the Mer de Glace. Many other mountains of 
 extraordinary shape are visible from Montauvert. 
 Underneath, the valley of Chamouni appears 
 while the glaciers, and more particularly the 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 175 
 
 Mer de Glace, resemble a sea suddenly frozen 
 in its most violent agitation, over whose sur- 
 face sharp and savage rocks protrude, casting 
 on the lighter ice a tint of variable blue. 
 
 Next day we set off for Martigny. Our 
 fair companion was too much fatigued by the 
 exertions of her late expedition to attempt the 
 Col de Balme. She therefore preferred accom- 
 panying the baggage, which made a detour by 
 Valorsini and the Tete Noire. Mr. Mac 
 Dermott conveniently sprained his ancle when 
 we were about to leave Chamouni, and the 
 old gentleman declared himself anxious to be 
 my companion. Mr. Mac, though " hors de 
 combat," offered his protection to the lady and 
 our effects. Of course it was accepted ; and 
 we accordingly took different routes, I having 
 first intimated to my worthy camarado that if 
 he did not intend to re-appear, he would 
 oblige me much by leaving my portmanteaus 
 at Trient, and, agreeably to article No. Four, 
 notify his designs, if any, upon the fair artiste, 
 to enable me to bolt in good time before 
 the catastrophe occurred. 
 
176 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 It would appear that women recover from 
 fatigue rapidly ; for on our descent to Trient, 
 I observed through a telescope a lady and 
 gentleman walking in front of the auberge^ 
 in whom I recognised my disabled friend 
 and " the old man's daughter." Mr. Mac's 
 convalescence also, appeared miraculous. At 
 Chamouni he was lame as a Greenwich pen- 
 sioner, but a drive in the caleche had restored 
 the infirm member, and he moved as jauntily 
 about as if he had been receiving a lesson 
 from Coulon. Indeed I was delighted to 
 assure myself of his identity at a mile off. 
 I know him to be " an honourable man ;" but, 
 Lord! in the hurry, he might forget No. Four. 
 From the miserable appearance of this Alpine 
 hostle, we only waited to take a hasty lunch, 
 and proceeding on our route, and crossing the 
 Col de Forclas, reached Martigny for dinner. 
 
 We recommenced our journey very early next 
 morning ; passed through St. Lionhard, and, 
 crossing again to the left bank of the river, 
 saw the village of Leuk on the opposite side, 
 perched on the brow of the mountain. A 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 177 
 
 league farther, at the hamlet of Gemini, the 
 celebrated baths of Leuk are situated, environed 
 by scenery of the most romantic character. At 
 Visp we breakfasted, and went afterwards to 
 visit the fall, which is about a quarter of a 
 mile distant from the auberge. It is worth the 
 traveller's notice, and I think not inferior to 
 that of Martigny. The height of this cascade 
 is probably a hundred and fifty feet, and as 
 there is always an immense body of water 
 discharging itself over the ledge of rock, the 
 noise is deafening. The fair artist made a 
 hasty sketch Mac, of course, in charge of the 
 portfolio. I think the old citizen has taken 
 the alarm if he has not, the man must be 
 blind as a beetle. At five we reached Breig 
 or Bryg, the first village on the great road 
 leading over the Simplon into Italy. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 We have parted with our fellow travellers 
 rather unexpectedly, who decline crossing the 
 Simplon, and return to Lausanne to await the 
 arrival of a relation, who purposes accompany- 
 ing them to Italy. I am glad of this for 
 
 i 2 
 
1T8 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 every reason. There is a mystery about Mr. 
 Mac Dermott that I have been unable to 
 penetrate. At times he seems unhappy, and 
 recollections obtrude upon his gayest moments, 
 which cloud his brow, while still his efforts 
 at concealment, indicate a spirit struggling by 
 native elasticity, to overcome thoughts that 
 rack its quietude. His attentions to Miss 
 Selwyn are not like those of the fugitive 
 flirtations in which I have seen him indulge ; 
 and she, I suspect, has not heard him with 
 indifference but time will show. The old 
 gentleman is a retired trader ; wealthy no doubt. 
 His daughter appears gentle and affectionate. 
 If I am not astray, after we retired last 
 night, there was a farewell interview. I saw 
 a tear fall from beneath her veil this morning 
 as Mac handed her to the caleche ; and since 
 her departure the swain looks triste and de- 
 jected, while frequently he contemplates a ring 
 which I never remarked before upon his finger. 
 But, what are their follies to me ? He'll 
 forget her before we see St. Peter's ! 
 
 Although we had intended to start for 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 179 
 
 Padua this morning, Mr. Mac Dermott, for 
 some unaccountable cause, insists on waiting for 
 the post; and, as a day must be lost, I have 
 left him in the hotel, and set out for Monza, 
 some eight miles distant, to visit the palais 
 of the Viceroy of Italy, and, if possible, see 
 the " iron crown." I succeeded but partially. 
 The gardens and park, both beautifully kept, 
 were opened, with a portion of the palace. 
 Unluckily, one of the archdukes was then the 
 occupant, and the greater moiety of the build- 
 ing could not be exhibited. 
 
 The iron crown is safely deposited in a 
 chest of the same metal, and secured by 
 three locks. But in the same place, there 
 is an object of greater value. This is a large 
 gilt cross, having in its centre a crystal, con- 
 taining a portion of the sponge saturated with 
 the identical vinegar presented to our Saviour 
 while crucified, and by him rejected! This, 
 of course, is an inestimable treasure ; but this 
 favoured church is rich in relics, and contains 
 one, worth sponge, crown, and vinegar to 
 wit, a vial containing a small quantity of the 
 
180 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 blood that flowed from the Redeemer's side ! ! 
 Heretics may cavil but is there a true be- 
 liever who ever doubted these acknowledged 
 truths ? 
 
 The post has brought a letter at least I 
 suspect this to be the case as Mac has started 
 willingly. There never was a lovelier day for 
 travelling, and we have passed some interesting 
 places Colomba, Cassano, and Carravagio, with 
 Cheari, celebrated for its silk mills, and arrived 
 late at Brescia. 
 
 This we found a very considerable town, 
 and if the population returns be correct, 
 judging from its size, the last place upon the 
 Continent that Malthus or Miss Martineau 
 would patronize. It looks less than Belfast, 
 but contains one-fourth a greater population ! 
 The cathedral is modern and very fine, and 
 there are some good paintings to be seen. 
 But Brescia is famous for its trade, and 
 appears to be a place of unusual bustle. Fire- 
 arms are the chief manufactures ; and about a 
 mile from the town, on the Verona road, 
 stands a foundry and arsenal, nearly completed 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 181 
 
 by Napoleon. Turn where you will in France 
 and Italy, you find mementos of that extra- 
 ordinary spirit that "illustrious unfortunate." 
 
 * # # # 
 
 Late on the following evening we reached 
 the ancient city of Verona, the scene of so 
 many of Shakspeare's loveliest creations. The 
 place is truly classic for no city contributed 
 to Roman literature so many venerated names. 
 Catullus, Macer, Cornelius Nepos, Pomponius 
 Secundus, Vitruvius, and the elder Pliny, form 
 a constellation of the first magnitude. Our 
 own " master of the heart" has immortalized 
 it in several of his dramas. Here is the scene 
 of the luckless loves of " Romeo and Juliet," 
 and we cannot forget " The Two Gentlemen 
 of Verona." 
 
 * * * * 
 
 Whether my worthy companion has received 
 a despatch from the pretty artiste, " blighting 
 his hope," or that tender recollections have 
 arisen over the tomb of the " gentle Montague" 
 which we have just left certes Mr. Mac 
 Dermott is melancholy as "an old lion, or a 
 
182 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 lover's lute." I am dying to discover "what 
 sadness lengthens Borneo's hours" and after 
 dinner will dissolve the mystery and conjure 
 him 
 
 "By Rosaline's bright eyes, 
 By her high forehead, and her scarlet lip." 
 
 If Verona hold a stoop of Burgundy I'll 
 unlock his tongue and between love and wine, 
 if he retain his secret, I'll believe that there 
 is constancy in man faith in a kept mistress 
 honesty in a Jew and no virtue in the bottle! 
 
 " Lord ! what a sigh. That sprain will 
 come against you, Mac. I fear you have 
 overworked yourself to-day." 
 
 " Why, faith, my dear boy, I am but a 
 dull companion. I wish somebody would assist 
 me to break article No. One and I'd call 
 the man my friend who would blow out my 
 brains genteely. Zounds ! I could jump into 
 the Adige, burn a church, turn methodist for 
 I am in most villainous humour with the whole 
 human race." 
 
 "Come, pass the bottle, Mac; one or two 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 183 
 
 bumpers like that honest one you filled, and 
 all will be c coleur de rose 9 again," said I. 
 
 " No, no my peace of mind is over and 
 though now and then I may drown recollec- 
 tion in the goblet still memory jogs one's 
 elbow, and whispers what a fool I have been." 
 His eye glistened. Burgundy is, after all, 
 the touch-stone to the heart and I called for 
 another flask. 
 
 " Come, Mac rally and fill me a brimming 
 bumper this is Miss Selwyn's health." 
 
 My pupil started but I had no reason to 
 complain that he did not fill fairly, and the 
 spirit of the rosy grape was not allowed time 
 to evaporate. 
 
 " What the deuce was that midnight divan 
 you held with Mademoiselle at Breig, after 
 you had seen the old cit and I retire?" 
 
 " Nonsense, you only jest," returned Mr. 
 Mac Dermott. 
 
 "No, faith: I heard enough to inform me 
 who the dramatis personce were. How were 
 you engaged, Mac pointing pencils or making 
 love ? Was Chloe cruel, or are you fed on 
 
184 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 hope, and like a cameleon, air-crammed? Come, 
 you are an excellent Catholic and know the 
 value of a clean breast; and believe me you'll 
 find yourself all the better of confession. 
 Surely you once threatened me with a narra- 
 tive of your adventures." 
 
 Poor Mac was agitated his eye flashed, 
 his cheek reddened, as with much bitterness, he 
 replied " If you are curious to hear the con- 
 fessions of a fool, ask but a detail of my career." 
 
 " No, Mac you are chagrined. Many a 
 man has made a wilder cast and redeemed it 
 gallantly afterwards." 
 
 " In my case, that is impossible," said my 
 pupil. 
 
 " Nothing to the determined is so and so 
 far as breaking heads, and drilling a man's 
 carcass go, you're not amiss." 
 
 " That may be so," said Mr. Mac. " But 
 what the devil can I expect in life, when I 
 am dead already?" 
 
 " That is, indeed, a puzzler and yet for a 
 defunct gentleman, you have the sweetest 
 swallow imaginable." 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 185 
 
 " But I'm worse than dead," returned Mr. 
 Mac Dermott, as he laid down the empty glass. 
 
 " Indeed !" 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 "How pray?" 
 
 He fetched a desperate sigh. "/'m married!" 
 
 " There is no disputing your assertion, my 
 friend. Where may the lady be at present?" 
 
 " Heaven only knows," responded Mr. Mac. 
 
 "When do you expect to see her?" I in- 
 quired. 
 
 " Never if I have any luck." 
 
 " Have any pledges of mutual attachment 
 blessed this auspicious union?" 
 
 Mac smiled, as he replied, "ladies of three 
 score are not generally prolific." 
 
 "Alas! my friend, you must pardon me. 
 I knew not the extent of your misfortunes. 
 To be defunct was bad enough but what 
 was that to matrimony? Come, out with the 
 tale while I order a fresh bottle." 
 
 " Make it two if you love me," said Mr. 
 Mac, "or I'll choke in the middle of the 
 narrative." 
 
186 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 The wine appeared. Mr. Mac Dermott 
 having " screwed his courage to the sticking 
 place," by the agency of a second bumper, 
 gave a preliminary cough, and thus began 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 
 
 ANT. S " There's not a man I meet but doth salute me 
 As if I were their well acquainted friend ; 
 And every one doth call me by my name." 
 
 COMEDY OP EEKOKS. 
 
 " SHOULD auld acquaintance be forgot/' says 
 the song they should and would to God that 
 mine would forget me ! My friends, alas ! are 
 "faithful to the tomb." Men who have seen 
 me for a second at a crossing, would remember 
 my person if we met by accident at Timbuctoo 
 and, though blind to all the world beside, 
 recognise me at the distance of a street. Con- 
 found their memories ! they have marred my 
 fortunes when the tide seemed "taken at the 
 flood." 
 
 Mine shall be a brief history. My father was 
 a wealthy stockmaster in Roscommon, who prided 
 
188 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 himself on the antiquity of his lineage and the 
 pedigree of his horses ; and there was not a more 
 hospitable house within the Shannon than his own. 
 There, the stranger was sure to find a good dinner 
 a heavy drink warm quarters, and a hearty 
 welcome. Wanderers to wakes and markets made 
 Kiltycormack their abiding-place friars and phy- 
 sicians infested it by the dozen drinking and 
 dancing was the order of the day ; for my 
 father, to do him justice, lived like an Irish 
 king sported a rattling stud, and a pack you 
 could cover with a blanket kept a priest in 
 the house, and two pipers into the bargain. 
 
 On my education and earlier life it is un- 
 necessary to dilate. At twenty I could read, 
 write, and serve mass in Latin, when my 
 mother and the maids confessed their pecca- 
 dilloes to Father Anthony. I knew a blemished 
 horse with half an eye won a steeple-chase 
 at Knockcroghery bullied a fire-eater at Balli- 
 nasloe and entered the Galway militia a cap- 
 tain ; but then, if the truth be told, commissions 
 were at a discount. 
 
 Three years passed ; and without vanity I 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 189 
 
 may acknowledge that my outward man was 
 generally admired by the softer sex. I was 
 a clean-timbered strapping fellow tall enough 
 for a flanker with a merry eye, and a devil- 
 may-care swagger rode hard, talked flippantly, 
 copied the elegancies of a sprig of fashion, 
 with whom our corps was fortunately orna- 
 mented and passed currently in park and ball- 
 room, as if I had never blistered a broken 
 knee, nor danced " apples for ladies,"* with 
 my mother's maid, at the pattern of Knock- 
 buoy. 
 
 It was in the middle of January, 181-, 
 that we got the route for Dublin; and no 
 order ever caused more pleasure and dissatisfac- 
 tion to a marching regiment, than that which 
 summoned us from out-quarters for garrison 
 duty. The young and single were delighted 
 with the change the old and married horrified 
 at the bare idea of dear lodgings, and the 
 immediate surveillance of a commander-in-chief. 
 Indeed ours was not a " crack corps," but 
 
 * A musical composition of great merit, although, as I am 
 informed, not generally danced at Castle balls. 
 
190 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 as slow a battalion as ever figured in the 
 Phoenix-park. Most of the officers had passed 
 their climacterics, and were provided with fami- 
 lies that would astonish Harriette Martineau. 
 Freeholders, not fitness, were passports to com- 
 missions ; and I verily believe that the service 
 could not produce a stranger sample of soldiers, 
 than the honest gentlemen who led the gallant 
 Gal way to the field. 
 
 Of those most overjoyed at our removal to 
 the metropolis, I may place the commander's 
 lady foremost. She was a fine woman of high 
 fashion, to whom the country was intolerable. 
 Nothing, therefore, could exceed her raptures 
 when the route for Dublin was received. Great 
 were her preparations for the spring campaign. 
 A house was taken in Merrion-square a new 
 barouche turned out by Hutton liveries were 
 renewed footmen multiplied ; and before a 
 month, the name of Mrs. Colonel O'Dogherty 
 was foremost on the Castle list. 
 
 It was the end of March the Patrick's night 
 ball had brought every body to town Dublin 
 was full, and the season was at its zenith. 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 191 
 
 Some regimental affair obliged me to call upon 
 the colonel. I was shown into the front draw- 
 ing-room, while the commander and his lady 
 were in conclave in the back one, and, in the 
 heat of argument, they forgot that the folding- 
 doors were ajar. 
 
 u Well, my -dear," said the fair one, " be 
 sure you get the box next Lady Asgill's. 
 Don't lose time, or that vulgar city woman, Mrs. 
 Sheriff Sullivan, will be sure to pick it up." 
 
 The colonel promised to be expeditious. 
 
 " Who shall we have, my love, to meet the 
 Lorimers? Unfortunately the staff are obliged 
 to attend the Castle dinner, and every thing 
 decent beside is secured by Lady Melvyn." 
 
 " Could you not have some of our own 
 people ? of late we have rather overlooked 
 them ?" 
 
 " Heavens ! colonel, don't mention it ! Where- 
 ever you contrived to pick them up, there is 
 not such a collection of scarecrows in the 
 service." 
 
 " True, my dear ; but you know one's 
 county interest must be looked after and 
 
192 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 there is not one of them that has not 
 a fodeein* and some freeholders." 
 
 "Hang their fodeeins ! Heaven knows how 
 dearly county honours are purchased. With 
 one or two exceptions, is there a presentable 
 man among the gang? And now, colonel, who 
 would you ask f 
 
 " Hem hem ! Why, my dear, Major Grogan 
 has never been here since he joined us in town." 
 
 " Good God, colonel, you would not, surely, 
 introduce that overgrown monster to the 
 Lorimers ?" 
 
 " Certainly, Grogan is singular both in man- 
 ners and person ; but there is Captain Demsey." 
 
 " A second Punchinello, with a civic paunch 
 and bandy legs." 
 
 " What do you say to Captain Joyce ?" 
 
 " Nothing only send him a clean shirt with 
 the invitation. The man, I fancy, imagined 
 that linen was included in his allowances or 
 supposed that our corps was like FalstafPs, and 
 that he would find ' enough on every hedge.' " 
 
 * Anglice a small estate. 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 193 
 
 " Oh, my love indeed you are too severe. 
 What say you to Captain Cormack ?" 
 
 " Worse and worse ! He speaks to the 
 servants in Irish, takes soup a second time, 
 and calls the knave of clubs < Jack my jewel.' " 
 
 " Lieutenant Corcoran " 
 
 " Has no clothes." 
 
 " Lieutenant Daly " 
 
 " Wears a home-made wig, at total variance 
 with the colour of his whiskers." 
 
 " Well, in Heaven's name, is there any of 
 them producable ?" 
 
 " Ye s. Conyngham is a good style of 
 man ; and Mac Dermott he dresses well, and 
 would pass current enough, if he did not say 
 6 arrah !' and 4 ah now !' ' 
 
 This flattering notice of my merits was 
 delightful and that, too, from a first-rate 
 authority like Mrs. Colonel O'Dogherty, and 
 the observations I had overheard were not 
 thrown away. I did not play deaf adder 
 but firmly resolved to abandon " arrah" and 
 " ah now" for ever. Determined to support 
 my well-earned reputation, although deeply 
 
194 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 registered in my tailor's leger, I decided on 
 giving the unhappy man further instructions 
 in book-keeping, and ordered for the nonce, a 
 full-dress jacket, with the largest wings pro- 
 curable from Brady. To be seen with " the 
 Lorimers" in public, would stamp me at once 
 a denizen of the world of fashion. Among 
 the leaders of the beau-monde, the Lorimers 
 were most distingue ; bonnets being nominated 
 after Lady Jane, while the contre-danse at the 
 last Eotunda ball had opened with " Lady Mary's 
 Rant." No wonder that I waited impatiently 
 for the promised invitation. It duly came 
 and on the appointed day I drove to Merrion- 
 square, in full feather, to partake of an early 
 dinner, and afterwards escort the ladies to the 
 theatre. 
 
 I was first of the company and had time 
 to take a full-length peep at my outward man 
 in the tall pier-glass between the windows 
 and, faith ! nothing could be better. My 
 lower extremities my legs were reputed to be 
 good ones in short kerseymeres and white 
 silks, might have passed muster at a drawing- 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 195 
 
 room. My hair was critically curled but the 
 new jacket that beat all Phil. Costigan, my 
 valet, averred upon his conscience, that my 
 own skin was not a closer fit ; and indeed, 
 the garment was so generally correct 3 that, in 
 a burst of gratitude, I almost registered a 
 vow to pay the tailor at some future day ; 
 but, as rash promises should be eschewed, mine 
 was conditional upon getting a prize in the 
 lottery, or succeeding to some estate, of which 
 the right owner at present kept me from 
 possession. 
 
 While I was still engaged in personal 
 admiration, Mrs. Colonel O'Dogherty entered 
 in full dress, just as a splendid carriage 
 stopped, and a thundering knock, loud and 
 long as the feu de joi of a battalion, suc- 
 ceeded. The steps fell the drawing-room door 
 was thrown open and a powdered functionary 
 announced " the Ladies Lorimer." 
 
 Our small party was quickly assembled. 
 General and Mrs. Cameron, and a dashing 
 major of Hompesch's dragoons, completed the 
 company. In a few minutes the butler sum- 
 
196 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 moned us to dinner. Down we filed to the 
 eating-room and, in the hostess* arrangements, 
 the Lady Mary fell to my lot. She descended, 
 leaning on my arm, and at table I was placed 
 next her. 
 
 All were in glorious spirits the ladies 
 beautiful as eastern sultanas, and brilliant as 
 jewels and ostrich plumes could make them. 
 The Lorimers seemed determined to be agree- 
 able and Lady Mary listened to me with so 
 much pleasure and condescension, that, when 
 she left us for the drawing-room, I was half 
 persuaded the foundation of a conquest had 
 been laid, and that I was fated, on some 
 blessed morning, to astonish the establishment 
 at Kiltycormack by the introduction of a 
 titled bride. God knows when I did accom- 
 modate them with a daughter-in-law, the one 
 I presented was of a different description ! 
 
 Dublin was once remarkable for the purity 
 of its dramatic taste, and no where did 
 histrionic talent insure a more enthusiastic 
 reception. A visit from some London stars 
 had, of course, created a sensation; and, as 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 197 
 
 the world of fashion had agreed to congregate 
 on this eventful evening in Crow-street, the 
 dress circle, when we entered the theatre, 
 presented a blaze of beauty. From the floor 
 to the ceiling, the house was crammed ; in 
 the gallery there was no " room for standing, 
 miscalled standing-room ;" and into the pit you 
 could have scarcely introduced a walking- 
 stick. For a week boxes had not been 
 procurable : the tears of beauty could not 
 obtain a second seat ; and happy was the 
 man who, by the urbanity of a proprietor, 
 achieved an occasional glance at the stage, over 
 a tier of turbans and a forest of feathers. 
 What were my feelings then, when, by the 
 gracious pleasure of the colonel's lady, I occu- 
 pied a position in the front row ! I was 
 flanked by Lady Jane and an aid-de-camp of 
 the viceroy's ; and, happier still, " lovely 
 Thais" I mean Lady Mary " sate beside 
 me !" 
 
 It might appear an unusual stretch of good 
 nature on the part of Mrs. O'Dogherty, to veil, 
 in the interior of the box, the splendours of 
 
198 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 her diamond tiara. But the colonel's lady was 
 a sentimentalist in a quiet way flirtation 
 a decouvert is not the thing she and the 
 Hompescher were far more comfortable in the 
 rear the Lorimers better seen in the front 
 the aid-de-camp could exhibit his aigulettes 
 I parade my wings all and every were 
 therefore judiciously placed, and that to their 
 perfect satisfaction. 
 
 Never was a lady in her own right more 
 affable than Lady Mary. She saw I was 
 anxious to be agreeable, and she condescended 
 to be amused. She was, if Debrett could be 
 believed, verging upon thirty consequently a 
 little passee and, in affairs de cceur, as it was 
 hinted, she had been particularly unhappy. She 
 had been jilted by an earl lost a lover before 
 Saint Sebastian and been abominably ill used 
 by an Irish baronet, who, after naming the 
 happy day, had broken his neck at a fox-hunt. 
 Her fortune was never mentioned; and even her 
 enemies admitted that she professed no fancy 
 for a life of celibacy. Was it wonderful therefore, 
 all things considered, that young ambition 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 199 
 
 should whisper what grave reflection would 
 smile at as impossible ? Love, like death, levels 
 all distinctions ; and why should I be so unfor- 
 tunate as to falsify the proverb ? I determined, 
 coute qui coute, to make the essay and who 
 could tell but a scion of the house of Lorimer 
 might yet astonish the inmates of Kiltycormack, 
 when she came down, a dutiful daughter-in-law, 
 to claim my mother's blessing ! 
 
 The play was over the curtain rose again, 
 and Love in a Village was substituted for the 
 afterpiece. No opera could have been better 
 selected. I seized on several passages which 
 seemed apposite to my situation and my sighs 
 might have been heard distinctly in the third 
 row. It was marvellous how rapidly I got 
 on " I never regretted want of nobility till 
 now and had I a title and estate, I knew at 
 whose feet both should be laid !" Did a frown 
 annihilate my hopes, and punish my audacity? 
 Ah, no a smile, bland and benignant as that 
 with which angels " view a virtuous deed," was 
 turned for a moment upon my face. I was 
 transported to the seventh heaven; sublunary 
 
200 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 concerns were forgotten ; I had built a fairy 
 
 edifice ; when suddenly, my celestial reveries 
 
 were dispelled by an infernal uproar in the pit. 
 
 The noise was indeed astounding and, as 
 
 the row occurred nearly beneath the box we 
 
 occupied, Lady Mary was, or affected to be, 
 
 desperately alarmed. The opera could not 
 
 proceed, for " Young Meadows" was unheard 
 
 in the stage-box, and there seemed to be a 
 
 rivalry between pit and gallery as to which 
 
 should deafen the audience by bellowing " turn 
 
 him out !" The cause of all this clamour was 
 
 a short personage, whose sustained attempts to 
 
 force his way across the pit had occasioned this 
 
 general brouillerie. All I could observe was, 
 
 that the offender was devilish troublesome, 
 
 had a fiery-red head, and endeavoured to 
 
 make fight with a brass-handled thong-whip, 
 
 which effort on his part, the denseness of 
 
 the crowd rendered perfectly abortive. 
 
 It was amazing with what pertinacity of 
 purpose, amid kicks, cuffs, and imprecations, 
 Redhead persevered, struggled across the par- 
 terre, and fairly established himself below me. 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 201 
 
 There he stood gasping for breath and a 
 worse-received gentleman I never witnessed. 
 " The curse of Cromwell light upon ye !" 
 exclaimed a stout dowager from Ormond- 
 market, whose toes. Redhead, in his transit across 
 the pit, had invaded. " Couldn't ye have 
 remained where ye were, ye ill-visag'd keout !" 
 
 "Divil speed ye, darlin'," rejoined a second 
 sufferer, whose bonnet, in the scuffle, had 
 sustained a mortal injury. " None cried God 
 bless him" and while one moiety of the 
 infernals were applauding " Kosetta" to the 
 skies, the other were heaping maledictions on 
 the short gentleman with the red head. 
 
 I looked at the delinquent, and at the 
 same moment he turned his face towards me. 
 Alas ! the snub-nosed and rubicund counte- 
 nance could never be mistaken ; and, as he 
 leered upon me with a small grey eye, 
 coruscant with recent excitement and whiskey 
 punch, I recognised Ned Flannegan of Balli- 
 nagran. Curse upon him ! I wished him a- 
 stride upon the apex of the Reek, or " five 
 fathom under the Rialto." 
 
 K 2 
 
202 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 Ned was a jobber by profession and living 
 in a country where the gentry were mostly 
 cattle-breeders, he, of course, was in constant 
 collision with them, and no stranger to the 
 house of Kiltycormac. He had an extensive 
 stock of natural assurance, and was now in 
 that comfortable state of inebriety, when the 
 steam was sufficiently up to overcome any 
 diffidence, had he possessed it, without im- 
 peding his articulation. But with all his 
 audacity, surely the devil would not tempt 
 him to claim acquaintance with me in such 
 a place and such a presence? Nevertheless, 
 I was not on a bed of roses and I would 
 have given a month's pay for an exchange 
 to a back seat or the best bullock he ever 
 bought from my father, that Mr. Flannegan 
 was up to his neck in the Shannon. 
 
 For some time I hoped I might escape the 
 threatened danger. It was an idle expectation. 
 Ned, without a strong inducement, would never 
 have endured the personal damage he had sus- 
 tained, to which the bastinado was a trifle. 
 Accordingly, I heard his voice in a few seconds, 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 203 
 
 first piano, but gradually increasing in volume 
 until the scoundrel was more audible than 
 " Justice Woodcock" himself. 
 
 " Master Arthur- Arthur as tore Captain 
 Arthur arrah, bedershin how deaf ye are !" 
 
 A roar of laughter followed; and every body 
 in the adjoining boxes, myself except ed, bent 
 over the front rows. From Mr. Flannegan 
 every eye was turned to me and although I 
 looked daggers at him, the villain resumed 
 the conversation. 
 
 "Och, murther! I'm kilt wid the hate. 
 There you are, snug and comfortable, while 
 here we're throng as three in a bed!" 
 
 Another roar from the pit Lady Mary red 
 as a peony. 
 
 "I have a token from your mother;" and 
 the infernal scoundrel closed his left eye 
 knowingly. " She gave me the wink, and 
 tuck me aside, after I had settled with your 
 father for the heifers. ' Ned,' says she. 
 c Madam,' says I. ' Tiggun thu^* says she. 
 
 * Anglice Do you understand me ? 
 
204 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS, 
 
 c TiggumJ says I. < This is the back-hand, 
 ye know,' says she, and she slipped me a ten- 
 pound note. ' Give that to Artur wid my 
 blessin',' says she ; 4 an' tell him I haven't a 
 majesty to bless myself upon, but the owld 
 goold pocket-piece, till Eney Moraghan pays in 
 the wool-money; and you know, Ned, I sould it 
 upon time,* and gave him until little Lady-day/' 
 Ned had now fairly divided the attention of 
 the audience, and his monologue appeared far 
 more attractive than the opera. I thought I 
 should have expired on the spot. " Wreathed 
 smiles" had long since deserted Lady Mary's 
 face, and ill-concealed anger told how deep 
 was her mortification at the ridiculous position 
 in which my pit acquaintance, Mr. Flannegan, 
 had contrived to place us both. He, honest 
 man, seemed amazingly gratified, that one lately 
 selected to bear a general assault and battery, 
 should have changed to a lion of the first 
 order, whose every sally told, if uproarious 
 mirth were proof. 
 
 * Time, in Connaught, means credit. 
 
205 
 
 " Honor Brady's off, and your mother's lookin' 
 out for a dairy-maid. They said, the divils, 
 that Honor lost her place through you;" and 
 he closed his left eye, and touched his nose 
 significantly; "but Doctor O'Dowd swore he 
 would take the vestment it was nothing, after 
 all, but the jaundice." 
 
 Another screech succeeded. To remain longer 
 was impossible. Up rose the Ladies Lorimer? 
 and Mrs. Colonel O'Dogherty led the way, 
 her eyes flashing with indignation. But sud- 
 denly as the retreat was planned and executed, 
 Ned Flannegan observed it. 
 
 " Artur dear arrah, death-an'-nouns stop, 
 man, stop. Won't ye come to * the Carlingford' 
 when you're done wid the ladies ?" 
 
 Two or three college jibs mimicked my 
 tormentor's voice, and repeated the invitation. 
 A roar of laughter followed ; and our exit 
 from the box, if not quite as agreeable, was 
 certainly far more eclatte than the entree. 
 
 Need I mention the result ? Lady Mary 
 cut me dead next morning in Sackville-street 
 and I was quizzed by the women, and 
 
206 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 worried by the men, until I hipped a pleasant 
 gentleman in " the Fifteen Acres," and gave 
 Philip Crampton the most troublesome job he 
 had met with for the season. During the 
 sojourn of the gallant Gralway in the metro- 
 polis, I never stretched a silk stocking under 
 Mrs. O'Dogherty's mahogany; and the brilliant 
 hopes I had cherished of quartering the bear- 
 ings of the Lorimers on the escutcheon of the 
 Mac Dermotts, were thus for ever blasted by 
 the recognition of an " old acquaintance." 
 
 " It really was too provoking," I observed, 
 as I smiled at the unhappy consequences that 
 Mr. Flannegan's visit to Crow-street had pro- 
 duced. " But for that rascally cattle-drover, 
 you might now, Mac, have been son-in-law 
 to an earl. To lose a wife was intole- 
 rable " 
 
 " Ay but not half so bad as to recover 
 another." 
 
 " Indeed I cannot comprehend you. Will 
 you favour me with the particulars?" I re- 
 plied. 
 
 " No, no ; two melancholy reminiscences would 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 207 
 
 be too much for one evening ; and, therefore, 
 I shall reserve the narrative for our first com- 
 potation at Florence." 
 
 It was late we separated for the night, 
 and sought our respective pillows. 
 
 Once more embarking on the Brenta, we 
 reached Padua next morning hired a voiture 
 for Bologna started immediately after break- 
 fast slept at Eovigo and on the following 
 day passed the Po, on a raft formed of two 
 boats fastened to each other. The river here 
 is of considerable size, and in breadth appears 
 to be double that of the Thames at West- 
 minster. Having entered the Pope's dominions, 
 our passports were examined, and our baggage 
 subjected to a strict investigation. This con- 
 cluded, we pushed on and reached Ferrara for 
 breakfast. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 The route from Ferrara to Bologna, exhibits 
 much pleasing scenery the roads are good, and 
 
208 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 the plains highly cultivated. The city is situated 
 at the foot of the Appenines, and is in circuit 
 apparently about five miles. 
 
 Leaving Bologna in the evening, we slept 
 at Sienna, and next day commenced our ascent 
 of the Appenines. From the upper ridges of 
 this magnificent chain of hills, the Adriatic Sea 
 is visible. We were belated not far from Pietra 
 Mala, and witnessed a very singular appearance. 
 
 On a mountain to the left of the road, over 
 a portion of the surface of the high ground, a 
 bright phosphoric light was emitted. As night 
 had set in, the effect was extremely curious ; 
 and on inquiry from our postillion, we were 
 informed it was called Foco del ligno. It is 
 a strange natural phenomenon, touching which 
 men of science are divided. Harmless in its 
 effects, it is not perceptible in the day ; but 
 at night, it spreads a soft and mellowed light 
 around, and partially illuminates the dreariest 
 solitudes among the Appenines. Giogo is the 
 highest of the mountains. The roads are 
 excellent, and scarcely inferior to the Simplon. 
 We descended the last hill at nine o'clock, 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 209 
 
 and took up our quarters at the Aigle 
 Noir. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 Florence is beautifully situated at the foot 
 of the Appenines, and on the river Arno, 
 which divides the city into unequal parts, 
 connected by four bridges. It is about six 
 miles in circumference, and has a population 
 of eighty-five thousand. 
 
 This city is a place of considerable impor- 
 tance, in both ancient and modern history. 
 It was originally colonised by the Romans, 
 and its founders were, as it is believed, Csesar's 
 veteran soldiers. Like the other Italian cities, 
 it was exposed to the aggressions of the 
 barbarians ; was taken by the Longobardi ; 
 fell into decay, and for years remained a 
 mass of ruins. It was again restored by 
 Charlemagne, and acquired additional celebrity, 
 from being the residence of Cosmo and Lo- 
 renzo di Medici. 
 
 Florence with great justice is termed the 
 Athens of Italy. Indeed, the industry of its 
 inhabitants is apparent to every stranger. The 
 
210 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 men are active and employed, the women 
 remarkable for beauty and politeness and of 
 all the Italian communities I have observed, 
 I- should pronounce that of Florence to be, 
 certainly, the most prosperous and happy. 
 * # # # 
 
 A more brilliant assemblage of the dead will 
 be found in the church of Santa Croce, than 
 in any cemetery of classic Italy. In a tomb, 
 the work of his own pupils, the painter, 
 sculptor, architect, and man of letters, Michael 
 Angelo lies. Here rests Galileo, persecuted 
 for unfolding "the secrets of the skies." A 
 little farther Machiavel and Aritian repose. 
 In place of a tomb, the Florentines have 
 substituted a picture in honour of their dis- 
 tinguished poet, Dante and boast of the glory 
 of that bright spirit, whom they permitted to 
 perish in penury and exile. After his death, 
 they sent a deputation to Rome, to request 
 that his remains, which had been interred at 
 Ravenna, might be restored; but the pope 
 refused the request, observing that " the land 
 that receives the exile becomes his native one." 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 211 
 
 We reached Florence in time for the opera. 
 The house is large and beautiful the orches- 
 tra admirable and the dancing second only to 
 what one sees in Paris and London. Torelli 
 and Monticini were first among a very supe- 
 rior corps de ballet. The Signora is a beau- 
 tiful artiste, and I thought Monticini a better 
 figure and a better dancer than Paul, whom 
 we had left delighting the good citizens of Paris. 
 
 To-day is the fete of Lorenzo. In the 
 morning we were enchanted with " the mise- 
 rere," sung, as it can only be sung in Italy; 
 and in the evening there were pony races in 
 honour of the saint. The horses ran through 
 the streets without riders, to the winning post 
 at the Duomo. It was late when the gay 
 crowds began to disperse and we returned to 
 the Aigle Noir 9 to discuss a flask or two of 
 "Rhenish," and talk over the occurrences of 
 the day. 
 
 " You are rather melancholy, Mac Dermott." 
 
 " I am, indeed," he replied with a heavy 
 sigh. 
 
 " Still brooding over your mischance, and 
 
212 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 inly mourning for the loss of Lady Mary. 
 But, courage, man ! Redhead will never mar 
 your fortunes a second time ; for the sea 
 separates you from your too affectionate 
 acquaintance, Mr. Flannegan. Shall I tell 
 you how to win a wife ?" 
 
 " I should be much more obliged by your 
 telling me how to lose one," returned Mr. 
 Mac Dermott. 
 
 "What! can it be possible? are you 
 Benedict " 
 
 " The married man ?" " I am by every 
 thing connubial !" 
 
 I stared at my disciple. " You puzzle 
 me not long since you hinted that you were 
 defunct ; and now affirm that you are worse 
 off married !" 
 
 " Dead, I am," returned Mr. Mac Dermott ; 
 " if a family, in second mourning for my 
 demise, be any proof; and I am lawfully 
 married, if the clerk of Saint Pancras can 
 rivet the bonds of Hymen." 
 
 " Go on Mac I am prepared to pity 
 you." 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 213 
 
 " I am obliged to you but extract another 
 cork one flask of Rhenish is worth a 
 shipload of sympathy." He filled a bumper. 
 " Come I may as well get rid of an unfor- 
 tunate confession and here goes : 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY CONTINUED. 
 
 FALSTAFF " What is the gross sum that I owe thee ?" 
 HOSTESS " Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the 
 money too." HENRY IV. 
 
 WHEN the militia were disembodied, a number 
 of meritorious soldiers like myself were per- 
 mitted to exchange the sword for the plough- 
 share, and become members of that respectable 
 portion of the Connaught community, usually 
 designated "walking gentlemen." My campaign 
 in the gallant Galway had unfitted me for 
 any honest calling and now, u my occupation 
 gone" after the hunting season ended, I tired 
 of the monotony of Kiltycormack, and the 
 ennui of a life of idleness heavily oppressed 
 me. My father, as a panacea for my com- 
 plaint, recommended farming ; my mother pro- 
 posed matrimony; and the domestic confessor. 
 
216 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 as in duty bound, averred upon his conscience, 
 that there was no cure for a case like mine, 
 but " rum and true religion." To the use of 
 all and every of these remedies, I felt disin- 
 clined, when the opportune arrival of my 
 maternal uncle, Captain O'Flagherty, to spend 
 the Easter holidays, decided my fate. 
 
 It was after dinner, and I had strolled 
 out into the garden, leaving my honoured 
 parents, their worthy guest, and Father Denis 
 Boyle in close divan. My father extracted a 
 fresh cork. " Dick," he said, addressing the 
 gallant captain, " I dont know what the devil 
 to do with Frank. It's a mortal sin to see 
 a strapping fellow like him, idling about the 
 stables. I offered him the farm of Durneein, 
 and to stock it into the bargain but he won't 
 have it." 
 
 " And I wanted him," said my lady-mother, 
 " to marry Judith O'Brien. He can have Judy 
 for the asking ; and she has two thousand 
 pounds, and that ready." 
 
 " Two hundred a-year when her grandfather 
 hops the twig," added the commander. 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 217 
 
 " And the devil a soul her uncle has to 
 give a rap to, as every body knows, but 
 her own four bones and Father Bradley will 
 leave a churn-full of half-crowns behind him," 
 quoth the confessor. 
 
 " And what objection can the boy have 
 to the match?" inquired Captain O'Flagherty. 
 
 " He can't abide poor Judy," replied my 
 mamma, " because she has a turn in her left 
 eye." 
 
 " Nonsense," said the captain, " let him 
 always look at her steadily in the right one." 
 
 " The family is objectionable," rejoined my 
 sire. " Her grandfather was a brogue-maker 
 and her aunt went off with a recruiting ser- 
 geant." 
 
 " Well, you know that Frank would have 
 no fancy to claim kindred with Father 
 Bradley ; and there's a prejudice against 
 priests' nieces in general. It will never 
 do," observed the captain. " But I have it ; 
 send him to England. He's a tearing-looking 
 fellow let him but play his cards decently, and 
 he'll bring home an heiress in half a-year. 
 
218 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 Nothing goes down there but an Irishman 
 and the more brogue the better." 
 
 After what is termed in parliamentary 
 language " an animated debate," it was de- 
 cided that I should proceed directly to the 
 British metropolis, put myself in the way of 
 fortune, and conquest was a matter of course; 
 while my mother, honest gentlewoman, lost 
 half her night's rest in determining which of 
 " the best bed rooms" her daughter-in-law should 
 occupy the blue or the buff one. 
 
 On this excellent errand of fortune-hunting 
 I bade adieu to home, and reached London 
 safely. All was strange to me in that 
 
 Mighty mass of brick, and stone, and shipping. 
 
 I took lodgings in a private street near Rus- 
 sell-square ; and spent as fresh ones generally 
 
 do a whole week in looking for and at " the 
 
 lions." 
 
 Before I had occupied my quarters many 
 days, I could not avoid noticing the marked 
 attention with which my movements were 
 observed by a stout gentlewoman, my oppo- 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 219 
 
 site neighbour. I inquired from my hostess 
 who was the person under whose surveillance 
 I found myself; and learned that she was 
 the widow of a tradesman, and had been left 
 extremely wealthy, to the great annoyance of 
 his kindred, even to the third and fourth 
 generations. They had disputed the validity 
 of the will; failed in the attempt; incurred 
 the eternal displeasure of the dowager ; and 
 lost every hope of inheriting a sixpence from 
 the irritated relict of the departed sugar- 
 boiler. 
 
 A month passed : no heiress presented her- 
 self; and all I had to comfort me was the 
 increased admiration of my fat friend and 
 neighbour, Mrs. Green. The Ascot meeting 
 came, and thither, of course, I hastened ; for 
 there beauty would be found and to one so 
 deep in the arcana of the turf as I, the trip, 
 no doubt, would prove profitable as pleasant. 
 The week passed over on which I made my 
 debut ; and its history shall be a brief one. 
 Of my favourites, one fell the other was 
 hocussed ; and on the wind-up, I found myself 
 
220 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 a " cleaned-out man," and master of a solitary 
 guinea ! 
 
 Never was an Irish gentleman in more 
 uncharitable temper with the human race than 
 myself as I crossed Russell-square on the way 
 to my own domicile. It was evening and I 
 remarked a young lady issue from a house, 
 leading a Blenheim spaniel in a ribbon leash. 
 She was scarcely twenty yards before me, 
 when a vulgar, over-dressed, fellow accosted 
 her, to her evident annoyance. The lady 
 quickened her pace, and so did her perse- 
 cutor. He whispered something, and she 
 averted her head ; but, with intolerable im- 
 pudence the fellow seized the ribbon and 
 took possession of the favourite. I hurried 
 up. The girl, with tears running down her 
 pretty face, was vainly remonstrating with 
 the scoundrel but I took a shorter and more 
 successful method kicked him off the path- 
 way restored the spaniel to his mistress and 
 offered my protection, which was promptly 
 and gratefully accepted. 
 
 We traversed several treets, and stopped 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 221 
 
 at a handsome residence, which the lady 
 informed me was her father's. She thanked 
 me, and bade me good evening. A footman 
 admitted her ; the door closed I lingered 
 for a minute ascertained the number of the 
 house and read upon a brass plate the name 
 of " Mr. Selwyn." 
 
 As I walked home, my head was in a 
 whirlwind one while brooding over my losses 
 at another dreaming of the pretty girl and 
 her dog. I threw myself on the sofa and 
 commenced castle-building, when my reveries 
 were broken by the maid, who handed me 
 a sealed note. I opened it. For the life 
 of me I could not but laugh it was an 
 invitation to tea, from Mrs. Green, the stout 
 gentlewoman opposite. Should I accept it ? 
 Pshaw ! the thing was too ridiculous : she 
 was older than my mother. I hesitated : that 
 evening I had nothing to do : hang it ! it 
 would kill time for an hour. I took my hat, 
 crossed the street, and found myself in the 
 presence of the sugar-boiler's widow. 
 
 Mrs. Green was a comely dowager, now fall- 
 
222 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 ing rapidly into flesh and years, but who no 
 doubt, some twenty summers since, was of 
 that class of vulgar beauty that one so fre- 
 quently meets within the sound of Bow-bell. 
 She was as much over-dressed as her draw- 
 ing-room was over-furnished. I was introduced 
 by a piquant and pretty-looking spider-brusher 
 to her presence ; and, for some minutes, I 
 never saw a hostess and her guest more 
 grievously embarrassed than the widow and 
 myself. 
 
 I shall abridge the interview. Mrs. Green 
 recovered her self-possession first, and came at 
 once to business. She had four hundred pounds 
 a-year ; ten thousand pounds in the three per 
 cents ; her house was freehold property ; and all 
 was in her own power, to dispose of as she 
 pleased. " She was a lone woman, God help 
 her ! her relatives were worthless and undu- 
 tiful she wanted a husband and an heir 
 and the finale was, that her hand and for- 
 tune were at my disposal. 
 
 " Odds wrinkles !" here was a confession ! 
 What the devil was I to say or do? I stam- 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 223 
 
 mered out my thanks ; told the old story 
 not a marrying man but, of course, eternally 
 obliged by the preference took a polite leave 
 of the dowager, and kissed the maid as she 
 let me out. When I found myself in my 
 own apartments, I could not but smile at the 
 singularity of the matrimonial proposition I 
 had received. Here, indeed, were a wife and 
 fortune, and both unconditionally offered. I 
 fancied the astonishment that the production 
 of such a consort would create at home : 
 smiled at its gross absurdity ; and yet before 
 three suns set, Mrs. Green had legally become 
 Mrs. Mac Dermott ! 
 
 " It may be recollected, that after the 
 downfall of Napoleon, the depreciation of 
 agricultural produce, occasioned by a rapid 
 transition from Avar to peace, ruined multi- 
 tudes of the Connaught landholders and their 
 dependants. The local banks stopped pay- 
 ment ; cattle fell one hundred per cent ; 
 rents were not to be collected; and thou- 
 sands of farmers, great and small, consequently 
 became insolvent. The occurrence was un- 
 
224 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 foreseen, and the ruin was sudden as un- 
 expected. My father, of course, was involved 
 with banks and bankrupts; and before I had 
 an intimation of his danger, his affairs were 
 on the eve of destruction. 
 
 I awoke next morning possessor of a guinea, 
 and deeply enamoured with the mistress of the 
 pretty Blenheim. London, without supplies, 
 is, as everybody admits, a less endurable place 
 than purgatory ; though the latter has certainly 
 a bad name. I breakfasted sat down to write 
 a penitential letter, and request an immediate 
 remittance. But before I had proceeded with 
 my epistle, the postman's knock was heard, 
 and a letter, in the well-known handwriting 
 of my worthy father, was duly delivered by 
 the maid. 
 
 I broke the seal impatiently. Heaven and 
 earth ! what a detail of adverse fortune that 
 brief despatch contained ! It is needless to 
 particularise ; but unless one thousand pounds 
 were immediately procured, he, with ample 
 means, must yield to the unexpected pressure 
 of the times, and become, like hundreds of 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 225 
 
 others, an insolvent. The chief object of this 
 communication was, to desire me to visit a 
 cousin of ours, a retired physician. He lived 
 in the vicinity of town ; was wealthy, child- 
 less, a widower, and a man of no expense 
 and consequently the likeliest person, on this 
 distressing emergency, to contribute the re- 
 quired loan. 
 
 Nor was there any indelicacy on my father's 
 part, in applying in his hour of need, to this 
 his opulent kinsman. He had been an orphan 
 during his struggles to advance himself in 
 life, my parent's roof had been his shelter 
 and for three years my father's purse had 
 borne the expenses of college terms, and 
 supplied the means of starting successfully in 
 the metropolis. 
 
 I sent for a post-chaise left a billet from 
 the dowager unopened drove six miles from 
 town found out my relative told him my 
 business begged the required loan and offered 
 to join my father, (a tenant for life,) in any 
 security he would demand. He listened coldly, 
 replied, that through life he had neither lent 
 
 L 2 
 
226 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 nor borrowed and remarked that he could not 
 be expected now to deviate from a general 
 rule. He lied, the scoundrel ! But for my 
 father's assistance he never could have obtained 
 a diploma. I left him, with a look of scorn 
 and a smothered curse. 
 
 I reached my lodgings before two, and 
 when I had discharged the post-boy, was 
 owner of a " splendid shilling." I strode 
 through the room like a maniac. It was a 
 rascally world after all. My kind and noble- 
 hearted father, for lack of a miserable thou- 
 sand, must- sink ; and he, the scoundrel, 
 whose fortunes he had founded, had refused 
 that paltry sum. I knew my parent's temper : 
 his proud heart would break. What was to 
 be done ? I flung myself in bitter agony 
 upon the sofa, as Mrs. Green's maid came a 
 second time, to ask me to see her mistress 
 for five minutes. 
 
 Why need I dwell upon it. My father's 
 difficulties had driven me desperate. I listened 
 calmly to the dowager, and told her frankly 
 how I was embarrassed. The interview ended 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 227 
 
 in my giving an assurance that I would marry 
 her next day, and in her transferring eleven 
 hundred pounds to me ; of which sum I re- 
 mitted a thousand to Ireland by that night's post. 
 
 I redeemed my promise faithfully and 
 wedded a woman whom I could not but de- 
 spise for this last act of most egregious folly. 
 So improvident or rather I should say in- 
 sane was her conduct, that she did not re- 
 serve a guinea from my control. The jointure 
 was certainly in her own power; but I could 
 have sold out her stock, and left her a second 
 Ariadne. 
 
 To remain another day in London was in- 
 supportable. I pleaded indisposition obtained 
 leave of absence for a week to visit Chelten- 
 ham and left my blooming bride on the evening 
 of the same day which made her mine. 
 
 Never was man more superlatively miserable. 
 I had rescued my father, but wrecked my own 
 hopes of happiness for ever ! Still one thought 
 was consolatory : I had averted ruin from my 
 home and by sacrificing myself, had saved my 
 parents. 
 
228 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 I was far too early for the coach. Where 
 should I turn my steps to ? To my own 
 house ? for I was now absolute master of a 
 dwelling. No, no any place but that home 
 for me. I walked rapidly to the square ; and 
 from the same house, the sweet girl whom 
 two evenings before I had rescued from insult, 
 issued with her favourite the little Blenheim. 
 
 I advanced God knows why. She recog- 
 nised me, and with smiles, bade me a good 
 evening. With all the artless warmth of a 
 young heart, she thanked me again for pro- 
 tecting her told me that she had mentioned the 
 occurrence to her father, who regretted that 
 she had not permitted him to acknowledge 
 the obligation in person. She was return- 
 ing from visiting a sick relative ; her parent 
 was at home ; would I accompany her, and 
 allow her to introduce me ? O God ! how 
 deeply every word stung me to the soul. 
 Here was a being young, artless, and beau- 
 tiful. I could have loved her worshipped 
 her. But I was bound to one from whom 
 I could expect no congenial feelings. I was 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 229 
 
 a victim at the altar an isolated and devoted 
 wretch doomed to see happiness within his 
 grasp, and Tantalus-like, his heart's wishes 
 were refused him. 
 
 Under some pretext I declined an intro- 
 duction to Mr. Selwyn. To tear myself 
 from London was impossible, and every 
 evening found me walking with my pretty 
 Marianne. I resided in a village near town ; 
 the week elapsed ; I remained jjerdu, and 
 postponed my return to the Greek kalends. 
 The sugar-boiler's relict was not inclined, 
 however, to become a consenting party to 
 this arrangement ; and on the very day my 
 leave of absence had expired, she bundled 
 off in the Red Rover for Cheltenham, to 
 reclaim her truant lord. 
 
 Great was her mortification at finding 
 my name unnoticed in the list of fashion- 
 ables. A rapid search was made it appeared 
 that I had not favoured Cheltenham with my 
 presence, and she set off for town, sadder 
 but not wiser then she left it. What was 
 to be done? A tender invitation to return 
 
230 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 was inserted in the newspapers, and a Bow- 
 street runner employed to discover my re- 
 treat. 
 
 It had so happened that one of " the 
 finest peasantry on the earth" had honoured 
 me with a call. Accident introduced him 
 to the dowager ; and Tony Magin under- 
 took, for a consideration, to restore me to 
 her longing arms. He averred that none 
 could do it but himself; " he would know 
 my skin upon a bush, and swear to my walk 
 a mile off." Sure enough the scoundrel re- 
 deemed his pledge popped upon me during 
 one of my evening interviews and having 
 strong suspicions that a recognition would 
 cost him broken bones, Tony prudently de- 
 clined renewing our acquaintance in the street, 
 but watched me home, and reported to the 
 " lady gay" the exact spot where her errant 
 consort might be discovered. 
 
 I, in the innocency of my heart, dreamed 
 not of the agreeable surprise in preparation, 
 and, wrapped in my dressing-gown, was drown- 
 ing uneasy thoughts over a trial for murder 
 
V 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 231 
 
 in The Herald, and between the production 
 of fresh witnesses was quietly sipping my tea. 
 The door opened no doubt " the maid of 
 all work" with a fresh muffin. A pair of lusty 
 arms enfolded me I looked up my " bonny 
 bride" had locked me closely in her embrace ! 
 Behind, the villain Tony was standing; for, 
 doubtful of the reception his employer would 
 receive, he prudently enacted rear-rank man, 
 keeping the door ajar, to secure a retreat on 
 the first demonstration of hostilities. 
 
 I returned a captive ; but the contiguity 
 of my dear Marianne was, I suspect, the 
 motive that influenced, on my part, this 
 passive submission. Alas ! I seldom saw her 
 afterwards, as her father left London for 
 the Continent. During our last walk I 
 took leave of her, and the secret of both 
 hearts was revealed. I loved her, and my 
 passion was returned. To confess the story 
 of my marriage, was an effort that I had 
 neither virtue nor resolution to achieve ; and 
 all Marianne knew was, that at present a barrier 
 to our happiness existed ; and I solemnly promised, 
 
232 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 that were it removed, I should make her 
 mine. 
 
 To exist in town after that she left it was 
 impossible; for, to add to my embarrassments, 
 my consort every day became more tender 
 and more troublesome. Tony, whose agency 
 in my detection I had not yet discovered, 
 was retained by my helpmate in the house; 
 and wherever I went, the villain followed 
 like my shadow. The truth at length tran- 
 spired ; I was no longer a free-agent, but 
 under strict espionage and that once known, 
 decided me in the course that I adopted. 
 
 I levanted forthwith, and my adventures 
 for the next three months would fill a volume. 
 I hastened to the sea-side, and there Tony 
 Magin apprehended me. I hid myself in the 
 retirement of an inland village, but the villain 
 discovered me in a fortnight. On every place 
 where I sought concealment, he was sure to 
 blunder. I obtained a situation as game- 
 keeper and had scarcely entered on my service 
 when the eternal Tony appeared at the next 
 public-house. I joined a party of strolling 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 233 
 
 players, and made my debut with considerable 
 applause. But my career was short as brilliant; 
 for on the third night, when eloquently 
 defending myself before the Venetian senate, 
 my wife claimed me from the stage-box, and 
 " had her claim allowed." She led me off in 
 triumph ; and as we left the barn, a roar of 
 laughter accompanied our retreat; and one of 
 the " grave and reverend signiors'' whom I had 
 been just addressing, exclaimed 
 
 Adieu, brave Moor ! use Desdemona well. 
 
 I was nearly driven to desperation. If I 
 expected to remain concealed in England, the 
 assassination of Tony would be indispensable ; 
 and, wishing to avoid murder, I determined 
 to seek shelter in Roscommon as a last hope. 
 There, it was possible I might remain secure; 
 the sugar-boiler's relict being desperately afraid 
 of Eibbonmen and Whitefeet. 
 
 All this time my ^marriage was a secret 
 to my family and the thousand I had remitted 
 home, was believed to be a contribution from 
 our worthless kinsman, who had refused to 
 
234 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 advance a guinea. Of course I determined to 
 keep my own counsel, and not communicate 
 the fact that I had ventured in " love's lottery," 
 and drawn a prize. I was joyfully received 
 at Kiltycormack I had done " the state some 
 service " by timely assistance had averted 
 the danger that was impending and enabled 
 my father to surmount difficulties and maintain 
 his independence, while all around were ruined. 
 
 A month passed quietly; no attempt at 
 re-capture had been made ; and I began to 
 hope that my fat admirer would not prove a 
 Penelope, but allow time to abate her sorrow, 
 and obliterate the image of her absent lord. 
 My father spoke occasionally on " settling in 
 the world;" and my mother dropped sly hints 
 touching Miss Judy O'Brien. She was a 
 greater catch, it would appear, than ever; for 
 the priest had been gathered to his fathers, 
 after bequeathing the produce of his clerical 
 exertions to this his favourite niece. 
 
 It was a fine autumnal evening ; Captain 
 O'Flagherty had come over to shoot partridges, 
 and a few friends were invited to do him 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 235 
 
 honour. All, save the parson, attended in good 
 time ; and he being a late man, it was resolved 
 to vote him present. Dinner was ordered 
 accordingly, when wheels grated over the gravel, 
 announcing that the absentee was come. 
 
 " Step out, Arthur," said the captain ; u hurry 
 the doctor, or he'll take half an hour to peel in 
 the hall, as he never ventures out in the 
 evening without being swathed like a mummy." 
 
 I obeyed the order opened the door and 
 found myself in the close embraces of a female, 
 while a well-remembered voice exclaimed tri- 
 umphantly behind " Arrah ! didn't I tell ye, 
 mistress dear, that if he was over ground I 
 would find^ him for ye ?" 
 
 I was petrified with horror ; but disen- 
 gaging myself from my consort's arms, I 
 jumped down the steps ; repaid Tony's exer- 
 tions in recovering me with a flush hit that 
 left him sprawling on the ground; rushed 
 madly to the stables and leaping upon a 
 visitor's horse, which fortunately remained 
 saddled, rode off at speed, and God knew 
 whither. 
 
236 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 I stopped at an obscure shebeen-house, and 
 despatched a courier for Captain O'Flagherty. 
 He came and I learned from him, that the 
 astonishment of my parents was only exceeded 
 by the anxiety of my wife. I told him my 
 hapless story enumerated my various efforts 
 at escape, and confessed that concealment 
 within the four seas of Britain was impracti- 
 cable that is, if Tony remained unhanged. The 
 captain agreed with me, and we sat in judgment 
 upon Mr. Magin. 
 
 "It can be easily managed," said my adviser; 
 6 it is only to pass the villain for a bailiff 
 and, as a matter of course, the tenants will 
 annihilate him on the spot. But I have a 
 simpler scheme for your deliverance. You 
 shall leave the kingdom, while we spread a 
 report of your death, and thus enable the 
 old gentlewoman to replace you if she please." 
 The plan was agreed to. The commander 
 replenished my purse smuggled out my port- 
 manteau extricated me from pursuit by a forced 
 march across the mountains and after a safe 
 and rapid journey I reached Paris undiscovered, 
 
MR. MAC DERMOTT'S STORY. 237 
 
 leaving Tony at fault, and my wife inconso- 
 lable. 
 
 But Captain O'Flagherty was not con- 
 tented with present success but wisely de- 
 cided, that from such ardent attachment as 
 the sugar-boiler's widow's there was no safety 
 but in the grave. My hat and clothes were, 
 over night, left upon the bank of the river, 
 found there next morning, and announced the 
 melancholy certainty of my having come to 
 an untimely end. Deep was the general dis- 
 tress, and great the exertions of the peasan- 
 try to find the corpse, and lay me in the 
 resting-place of my forefathers. But their 
 efforts were ineffectual although for miles 
 the river was dragged and the ground turned 
 up, no corpse could be discovered. It was 
 decided, therefore, that I was inhumanly mur- 
 dered and that my body had been thrown into 
 a limekiln, which happened to be contiguous 
 to the spot where my garments had been 
 found. Suspicion lighted on a travelling 
 pedlar. He was apprehended, indicted capitally, 
 and so much was I regretted, that, out of 
 
238 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 compliment to my memory, although there 
 was not a particle of evidence to criminate 
 him, the jury determined to find him guilty ; and, 
 but for the interference of the judge, the dealer 
 in hardware would have " spoiled a market," 
 and ornamented a dissecting-room afterwards. 
 
 You know my story now. I have only 
 to add, that my wife is erecting a tombstone 
 to my memory, and that the obituary notices 
 in the newspapers were numerous and flatter- 
 ing. Hitherto I have remained undiscovered. 
 Captain O'Flagherty sends me the supplies 
 and I expect to find a letter from him waiting 
 for me in Rome. I may as well tell all. 
 Marianne was the magnet that brought me 
 here. You have seen her, and may, before 
 many days pass, have that pleasure again. 
 Heigh ho ! Why the devil do you keep the 
 bottle there ? Don't you perceive how much 
 that confession has overcome me ? 
 
 I could not, when we separated, but ponder 
 on the madcap's history; and when I did sleep, 
 dreamed that Tony had discovered us in the 
 capitol, and that the disconsolate bride had 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 239 
 
 memorialized his Holiness the Pope for resti- 
 tution of conjugal rights. 
 
 # # # * 
 
 We left for Home next morning slept at 
 Arizzo left Cortona on the left crossing 
 the mountain of Spelonca, and halted on the 
 shores of lake Perugia, olim Thrasimene. 
 
 The adjacent plain is full of classic recollec- 
 tions. Here was the battle-field on which 
 Hannibal defeated the Romans under Flaminius, 
 with tremendous slaughter. The consul him- 
 self fell and the blood of ten thousand Romans 
 coloured the waters of the " Sanguinetto," as 
 the mountain stream was appropriately entitled. 
 
 The plain on which the battle was decided 
 is small, and stretches between the lake and 
 the heights of Gualandra. Two rivulets descend 
 from the hills and unite their waters in 
 Thrasimene. One divides the Papal from the 
 Tuscan territories ; the other (the Sanguinetto,) 
 bounds the scene of bloodshed. On the heights 
 upon the left, the ruins of a tower are pointed 
 out by the peasantry, as being the place from 
 which the Carthaginian general directed the 
 
240 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 movements of his troops, and witnessed the 
 slaughter of his enemies. Of the locale of the 
 battle there never has been a doubt ; and had 
 there been any, the immense quantities of 
 human and animal bones disinterred at various 
 times, would have sufficiently denoted the scene 
 of " foughten field." 
 
 We crossed the Tiber soon after leaving 
 Thrasimene, and travelled the valley of Perugia, 
 esteemed the richest in Italy. Passing through 
 several pretty hamlets, and a rich landscape 
 interspersed with several interesting remnants 
 of antiquity, we stopped for dinner at Spoletto, 
 the place where Hannibal was repulsed after 
 the battle of Thrasimene ; at least, so says an 
 inscription on one of the gates. 
 
 The aqueduct across a deep dell the ruins 
 of an amphitheatre a temple of Diana now 
 converted into a church and the beautiful 
 waterfall, the " Caduta del Marmora," formed 
 by the Volino precipitating its stream from a 
 ledge four hundred feet high into the river 
 Var, occupied us next day. Resuming our 
 route, we passed Narni and its magnificent 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 241 
 
 aqueduct ; and leaving the Via Flamminia, took the 
 road by Nessi, Mount Rosi, and Baccano ; and, 
 without interruption from brigands or breaks- 
 down, reached " the immortal city" safe in purse 
 
 and person. 
 
 * * * * 
 
 On entering Rome, gloomy and dirty streets, 
 splendid palaces, with dung heaps built against 
 them, ugly churches without number, and a popu- 
 lation squalid and beggarly in the extreme, are 
 the first objects which meet a stranger's eye. 
 And was this expanse of ruined buildings the 
 once famed mistress of the world ? Were one 
 inclined to moralize on the vicissitudes of " things 
 below," here would be a fitting place. There one 
 would learn that time spares neither man nor the 
 noblest of his works that a common grave awaits 
 the founder and the city and in proportion to the 
 pride and pomp of human greatness, the fall will 
 only be the more marked and the more miserable. 
 
 " Come and see 
 
 The cypress, hear the owl, and plod your way 
 O'er steps of broken thrones and temples, ye ! 
 Whose agonies are evils of a day. 
 
 M 
 
242 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 The Goth, the Christian, Time, War, Flood, and Fire, 
 
 Have dealt upon the seven-hilled city's pride ; 
 
 She saw her glories star by star expire, 
 
 And by the steep, barbarian monarchs ride 
 
 "Where the car climbed the Capitol : far and wide 
 
 Temple and tower went down, nor left a site. 
 
 Chaos of ruins ! Who shall trace the void ?" 
 
 CHILDE HAROLD. 
 
 We were not many hours in Rome until we 
 visited St. Peter's. Having entered " the eternal 
 city" by the Porta Angelica, we passed in front 
 of the church, and our curiosity was too strongly 
 excited to allow a delay before we had inspected 
 the interior of this " wonder of the world." 
 Provided with a cicerone and a guide-book, we 
 crossed the Tiber accordingly by the bridge of 
 San Angeloj and, turning to the left up a narrow 
 and filthy street, entered the Grand Piazza. 
 Much as the stranger may be prepared to admire, 
 his imagination will fall infinitely short of the 
 scene that there presents itself. A splendid 
 colonnade with quadruple columns, forms a semi- 
 circular sweep, and nearly incloses the vast area. 
 In the centre stands the Egyptian obelisk of 
 red granite, between two exquisite fountains, 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 243 
 
 which throw their waters to a height of forty 
 feet. Under a covered portico, surmounted 
 by equestrian statues of Constantine and Charle- 
 magne, we entered by the middle door. Sud- 
 denly, the curtain was withdrawn and the 
 interior burst upon us with a magnificent beauty, 
 that even a poet's fancy could not create. 
 
 To describe St. Peter's is impossible. On 
 every side the richest marbles present themselves, 
 so elaborately beautiful, that the eye can hardly 
 rest upon any individual effort of the chisel 
 sufficiently long to find out half its charms. The 
 mosaic-work is so exquisite, that it seems for a 
 time to have been produced by a pencil ; while 
 through lofty arches, chapels, and tombs, and 
 altars, crowd upon the gaze, offering a coup 
 d'ceil that produces a mingled feeling of asto- 
 nishment and delight. 
 
 And yet upon this grand and wondrous display 
 my companion looked with indifference ! I gazed 
 around with rapturous surprise, as, advancing up 
 the nave, the altar in our front by a curious 
 optical illusion appeared receding as we approached 
 it. Passing the bronze image of the patron saint, 
 
244 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 once the Jupiter of the Capitol, our guide, while 
 enumerating its beauties, directed our attention 
 to the toes, which, as he averred, were polished 
 by the kisses of the faithful. Mr. Mac Dermott, 
 with an irreverence that startled the cicerone, 
 observed that "were feet to be saluted, there 
 were ancles before him that he would prefer to 
 every saint's in the calendar " and he pointed 
 to a kneeling devotee. Although my excellent 
 friend did not speak the purest Tuscan, the lady 
 appeared to understand the compliment, and, lift- 
 ing her dark and sparkling eyes from her rosary, 
 requited it with a gracious smile while, shocked 
 at the desperate impiety that would compare 
 sinful flesh with sainted bronze, the guide, like 
 a true Catholic, crossed himself devoutly, and 
 muttered an anathema against our heretical 
 
 unbelief. 
 
 # # # # 
 
 The Capitol ! what recollections are asso- 
 ciated with the name ! Through filth, and 
 wretchedness, and ruins, we reached its base, 
 and by a lofty flight of marble stairs mounted 
 to the church of Aro Caelia, situated on the 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 245 
 
 eastern summit of the hill, where the temple of 
 Jupiter once stood. 
 
 Here an infinity of objects command the tra- 
 veller's notice. Paintings, sculpture, and nume- 
 rous remnants of antiquity, are abundantly col- 
 lected in the museums adjoining the senator's 
 house. On none of these, however, did Mr. 
 Mac Dermott vouchsafe his observation, for all 
 his attention was bestowed upon the equestrian 
 statue of Marcus Aurelius, which occupies the 
 centre of the piazza. But while the guide was 
 extravagant in his admiration, my companion 
 declared that the emperor was seated on a brood 
 mare ! A fiery altercation ensued, and often was 
 my judgment appealed to. The cicerone eulo- 
 gised the head and neck, and the Hibernian 
 denounced the belly. Without being skilful in 
 horseflesh, I must admit that justice lay with Mr. 
 Mac Dermott for the abdominal proportions of 
 the steed are preposterous. The figure of the 
 emperor, however, is nobly designed, and its 
 beauty redeems the partial deformity of his 
 charger. 
 
 Our last visit was to the Pantheon; by far 
 
246 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 the best preserved temple of ancient Rome. The 
 inscriptions in front of the building intimate its 
 having been erected by M. Agrippa twenty-six 
 years before the Christian era. The Pantheon 
 is celebrated for the beauty of its proportions. 
 It is ornamented with sixteen columns formed 
 from single blocks of oriental granite, each four- 
 teen feet in circumference, and nearly forty in 
 height. There are no windows in the building, 
 light being admitted through a circular opening 
 in the roof. This matchless temple is now used 
 as a church, and dedicated to the Virgin and 
 holy martyrs. Around the walls are many busts 
 of striking beauty, displaying a curious variety 
 of likenesses; for there sculptors and monks, 
 painters and cardinals, are singularly intermingled. 
 We happened to be present while mass was 
 being celebrated. The priest was excessively 
 ill-looking and his audience consisted of a dozen 
 of the shabbiest paupers that Rome itself produces. 
 How we drew down upon us the ire of "his 
 reverence " I never could discover ; but attracted 
 by his noise and gesticulation, we soon discovered 
 that his discourse was directed at ourselves ; and. 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 247 
 
 to judge from the manner of the orator, his 
 remarks were any thing but complimentary. The 
 ruffian auditory began to grin at us, and the 
 guide hinted that it would be prudent to retreat. 
 But Mac was obstinate in remaining and swore 
 sturdily that he would not quit the Pantheon for 
 the pope ! The storm momently lowered ; the 
 priest anathematized awfully ; and my companion 
 responded in an unknown tongue. The mutter- 
 ings of the banditti that surrounded the preacher 
 alarmed me and I joined our cicerone in urging 
 my companion to retire. He did so reluctantly. 
 "What the devil were you afraid of?" was his 
 first remark when we were safe outside the walls. 
 " Do you think I cared for his curses, if he bel- 
 lowed till he was black in the face ? Was I not 
 6 called out ' in the chapel at home ? My name, 
 indeed, was not mentioned; but Father Murphy 
 described me to a hair. Ah, if you only under- 
 stood Irish for one blessing we got, the old 
 mountebank had three !" Indeed I believe it 
 was the case ; for during the maledictory struggle, 
 Mr. Mac Dermott's volubility was astonishing. 
 
248 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 As a set-off against the anathemas of the 
 monk of the Pantheon, we have received the 
 benediction of the Sovereign Pontiff, and re- 
 turned to our hotel, delighted with the urbanity 
 and gentleness of a most interesting old man. 
 Having reached the palace, we found that our 
 arrival was most opportune, for the pope was 
 descending the stairs to enter his carriage, which 
 was waiting at the door, and we were just in 
 time to gain the end of the hall before he made 
 his appearance. A servant politely directed us 
 to kneel, and pointed out the best and most 
 convenient situation to observe the person of his 
 holiness, and secure his blessing. A buzz an- 
 nounced the pope's entrance ; down we popped 
 upon our knees, as a little figure, " clothed in 
 purple and fine linen," advanced with great 
 dignity. 
 
 Pius VII. appeared to have passed his eigh- 
 tieth year, but he Avas still a well-looking old 
 man. He wasidressed in a cream-coloured gown, 
 lined with crimson, and bound round his middle 
 by a sash. His hat was crimson silk, its broad 
 brim looped up at the sides. Scarlet breeches 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 249 
 
 and stockings, with shoes of the same colour, 
 and trimmed with gold fringe, completed his 
 costume. 
 
 Perceiving that we were English, he advanced 
 towards us, while we bowed our heads, and 
 received his benediction. The ceremony was 
 scarcely over, when our risibility was excited 
 by a great over-fed, thick-winded devotee, 
 waddling after his holiness upon his hands 
 and knees, and kissing his toe devoutly. This 
 piety was of course requited with a benison, 
 and he was no doubt made happy. Accom- 
 panied by a number of gentlemen, the pope 
 proceeded to his carriage ; we joined the train ; 
 and as he drove off, he returned our salutation 
 with marked urbanity. 
 
 Even this quiet scene could not pass over 
 without my mercurial companion involving us 
 in a scrape. As we were leaving the palace, 
 a genteel-looking attendant came forward and 
 intimated that he was a domestic of the pontiff. 
 The best and most appropriate reply was to 
 hand him a few pauls. A second, with a 
 graceful bow, assured us that he, also, was of 
 
 M 2 
 
250 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 the household ; and another subsidy was pre- 
 sented. A third and a fourth succeeded but 
 when the fifth laid claim to our consideration, 
 Mr. Mac Dermott's irascible temperature was 
 directly in a blaze, and pushing the applicant 
 aside, he consigned the whole establishment, in 
 " one fell swoop," to pandemonium ! Fortu- 
 nately his English was as unintelligible to the 
 footman, as his Irish had been to the monk; 
 and I ended the argument by removing my 
 refractory companion. 
 
 A visit to St. John Latern concluded our 
 perambulations over " the eternal city." This 
 church was erected by Constantine and, as an 
 object of interest to the traveller, it is considered 
 only second to St. Peter's. It stands near 
 the Porta Giovanni, and many have been the 
 casualties it has undergone. Overthrown by 
 an earthquake rebuilt burnt down recon- 
 structed and enlarged. In it the Corsino 
 chapel is erected where, in a beautiful sarco- 
 phagus of porphyry, the ashes of Clement 
 XII. are deposited. The curious in relics 
 would be highly gratified at the interesting 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 251 
 
 collection exhibited to the faithful on Holy 
 Thursday for a more miscellaneous assortment 
 never delighted a devotee. Here are the heads 
 of St. Peter and St. Paul ; a lock of the 
 Virgin's hair ; part of her petticoat ; a robe 
 of Christ ; some of his blood in a bottle ; the 
 table on which the last supper was laid out; 
 splinters of the ark of the covenant ; the rods 
 of Moses and Aaron; and the identical pillar 
 on which the cock perched who crowed when 
 Peter denied his Master ! ! But these are of 
 small account compared with the holy stair- 
 case opposite the church, by which our Saviour 
 descended from the judgment-seat of Pilate ! 
 None are permitted to ascend except upon 
 their knees and to descend, is totally prohibited. 
 But if the task of mounting be troublesome, 
 verily the reward is great for an indulgence 
 of three thousand years is granted to the 
 operator. At the top of the staircase is the 
 " Holy of Holies" and a most uninviting 
 place it looks. I recommended Mr. Mac 
 Dermott to liberate himself from the load of 
 his sins, as he never could effect it on easier 
 
252 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 conditions ; but, with heretical obstinacy, he 
 rejected my advice, and chose the other stair- 
 case. 
 
 My tutelage is ended " Thanks to the gods !" 
 Mr. Mac Dermott no longer honours Rome with 
 his presence and a new era has opened in his 
 history. 
 
 Breakfast was over, and I had unclosed an 
 English newspaper when a visitor was announced 
 and admitted. The first look assured me that 
 it was our quondam fellow-traveller Mr. Selwyn ! 
 On being seated, I remarked that he was greatly 
 agitated, while my excellent companion was not 
 exactly on a bed of roses. After a few common- 
 place observations and a long pause, the old 
 gentleman turned to my worthy disciple. 
 
 "I am come, Mr. Mac Dermott, on any 
 thing but an agreeable errand; yet parental 
 duty renders this duty indispensable. My 
 daughter has placed this letter in my hand ; 
 and it is only necessary for me to add, that, 
 from a perusal of its contents, Marianne and 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 253 
 
 I request that you will forget we have ever 
 met." 
 
 So the murder was out and Mr. Mac 
 involved in another escapade. 
 
 " I will not question your intentions, sir," 
 the old man continued ; " I will judge them 
 charitably and only inquire, was it wise or 
 honourable to win the affections of an artless 
 girl, whom, from your own admission, you never 
 could have made a wife ? Were it not imper- 
 tinent, I would ask in what that difficulty 
 consisted ? Is it poverty ? I have the means 
 to remove it " 
 
 My pupil shook his head and Mr. Selwyn 
 proceeded. 
 
 " Your rank I know not but I presume 
 that you are what the parlance of the world 
 calls gentleman. I, sir, am the child of honest 
 parents, and have realized independence with 
 an unblemished reputation. Of Marianne I 
 speak not ; no tongue dare whisper aught to her 
 dishonour." 
 
 Poor Mac Dermott was deeply affected. 
 
 "Mr. Selwyn," he said, in broken tones, 
 
254 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " I am incapable, even in thought, of injuring 
 the only woman I ever loved or ever shall love. 
 We must part I will leave Rome this evening 
 I will fly from her whom I idolize her whom 
 I would give a world to call mine." 
 
 Mr. Selwyn was affected, and / almost became 
 a driveller ; for there was a sincerity in Mac's 
 sorrow that none could witness with indiffer- 
 ence. To conceal my feelings I caught up the 
 newspaper, and glanced my eye over the columns 
 of " The Times," while my unhappy disciple 
 continued, 
 
 " Yes, sir, a barrier divides me from your 
 daughter. Alas ! I am already married." 
 
 " Married!" 
 
 " Ay, sir in a moment of madness to save 
 a father from ruin, I obtained the means by 
 sacrificing myself." 
 
 " From my soul I pity you," said Mr. 
 Selwyn. - " But my daughter's peace of mind 
 must not be perilled by a continued intimacy 
 it would be dangerous indelicate. We part, 
 sir. My poor Marianne sends you her best 
 wishes " 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 255 
 
 " Stop ! stop !" I exclaimed, as my eye fell 
 upon a paragraph that astonished me. Again 
 
 I read it silently. "It is true, by H n!" 
 
 I ejaculated. 
 
 "True! What is true?" 
 
 I handed Mr. Selwyn the newspaper, and he 
 read the passage I pointed out. 
 
 " c Died suddenly, at her residence in Great 
 Russell-street, Sarah, relict of the late Arthur 
 Mac Dermott, Esq., of Kiltycormack House, 
 county of Eoscommon.' " 
 
 " And what was the result ?" inquired the 
 colonel. 
 
 " Pshaw, surely you can guess it !" 
 
 " You don't mean marriage, I hope ?" 
 
 "I do. Within ten days Marianne Selwyn, 
 in the English chapel, plighted her vows to 
 my friend Arthur ; and the Irish papers 
 corrected their obituary mistake, and declared 
 that the heir of Kiltycormack was not dead 
 but married" 
 
256 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " Well, certainly/' observed the colonel, as 
 the little lawyer pocketted his morocco-bound 
 memorandum-book; " my excellent countrymen 
 are mortals of unique construction wrong- 
 headed beyond belief, but the heart in the 
 right place after all." 
 
 " You will admit also, with all your illibe- 
 rality," rejoined the kinsman of the commander, 
 " that the tone and order of society, and 
 especially those of the aristocracy, have under- 
 gone a striking reformation. The schoolmaster 
 has been abroad." 
 
 " And upon my conscience, the schoolmaster 
 had an ample field on which he might display 
 his abilities," remarked the host. 
 
 " Have not the habits and manners of the 
 gentry, even within your own recollection, 
 become infinitely more civilized and enlightened ?" 
 
 " Why," replied the commander, drily, " men 
 do not lock up their company for security, 
 and drink six and thirty hours at a stretch 
 nor are inattentive waiters ejected from an 
 
A TOUR NOT SENTIMENTAL. 257 
 
 upper window, and directed to be included in 
 the bill and further still I believe a gentle- 
 man will be received into society, even in 
 Galway, who has not committed, or even 
 attempted to commit honourable assassina- 
 tion." 
 
 " That abominable propensity of your coun- 
 trymen, I consider the most unpardonable of 
 their failings," observed the lawyer. " We, 
 probably, colonel, look at it with different 
 eyes. You, as a soldier, gloss the crime over, 
 in accordance to the doctrines of a mistaken 
 code, miscalled that of honour. I test it by 
 the civil and the Christian law and in both 
 I read its condemnation." 
 
 " Sir," returned the commander, "I am not 
 prepared to defend a practice, which has been 
 so often and so lamentably abused. The duellist 
 is generally a ruffian a person of questionable 
 reputation at the best a man frowned upon 
 by society one whom the weak tolerates from 
 fear, and from whom bolder spirits turn with 
 contempt. But remember never mind how 
 paradoxical it may appear to fight a duel 
 
258 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 is not to be a duellist. It is an alternative 
 to which many a high-minded gentleman has 
 been forced for there are injuries to which 
 sensitive honour is exposed, over which the law 
 can take no cognizance. I reprobate duelling 
 as a practice and a melancholy reminiscence, 
 associated with my boyhood, made an impres- 
 sion never to be removed. One fatal duel, 
 and the extensive misery it occasioned, taught 
 me a lesson, which, more than once I believe, 
 proved useful the necessity, where strong 
 passions exist, of guarding rigidly against their 
 hasty ebullition. Come, gentlemen, fill your 
 glasses while I proceed." 
 
 The colonel showed a laudable example to 
 his guests, and thus commenced his narra- 
 tive : 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 
 
 " He now said, * Gentlemen, I will detain you no longer, for I 
 desire not to protract my life ;' saluted them with an air of cheer- 
 fulness, which drew tears from every eye but his own ; and hastened 
 to the scaffold." 
 
 DEATH OF LORD BALMEBINO. 
 
 IF the present times be chargeable with increase 
 of crime, it will be admitted that there is a 
 striking change in the grade and character of 
 the criminals. A certain order of things has 
 made state offences infrequent enactments 
 against treason are now a dead letter in the 
 statute book " the headsman's axe" rusts in 
 the armoury of the tower "Noble Lords" 
 and " Gentlemen of ancient descent" seldom 
 appear at the bar of justice and rarer still, 
 does capital punishment fall upon any, removed 
 by birth and fortune from the lowlier classes of 
 the community. 
 
 That this change is attributable to any refor- 
 mation in the principles of the upper ranks, 
 
260 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 would be a questionable inference and it is 
 referable to a simple cause. In our days the 
 high-born and the wealthy have small induce- 
 ment to violate the salutary restrictions of the 
 law and however the moral code may be in- 
 fringed, the criminal one is respected. In 
 breaches of privilege and honour, aristocratic 
 delinquency is generally comprised and loss 
 of character and caste are the severest penal- 
 ties incurred by the offenders. 
 
 There are, however, and within our own 
 recollection, some melancholy exceptions to be 
 found. Men of superior rank have occasionally 
 presented themselves as criminals and, as the 
 well-being of society demanded, the impartial 
 hand of justice visited their offendings with 
 unmitigated severity. 
 
 Of the few unhappy cases, one may be 
 remembered with lively regret.- For no crime 
 were there more numerous apologists for no 
 punishment a more general sympathy and 
 while the sentence was accordant to the law, 
 the sternest ethic lamented that justice required 
 a victim like Major Alexander Campbell. 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 261 
 
 This unfortunate gentleman was the descendant 
 of an ancient family in the Highlands. Having 
 entered the army at an early age, he served 
 under Sir Ralph Abercrombie, and in Egypt 
 particularly distinguished himself. He was 
 transferred to the twenty-first Fusileers from a 
 Highland corps, and his promotion to a brevet 
 majority, as it was said, had given offence to 
 the senior captain of the regiment. Certain 
 it is, that between these officers no cordiality 
 existed. Little pains were taken to conceal 
 a mutual dislike frequent and angry altercations 
 took place and the temper of Campbell, 
 constitutionally warm, was often irritated by 
 the cool contradictory spirit of his unfortunate 
 victim. 
 
 The twenty-first regiment was quartered in 
 Newry when the half-yearly inspection occurred, 
 and, as senior officer, Major Campbell commanded 
 on that occasion. After dinner, in the course 
 of conversation, Captain Boyd asserted that 
 Campbell had given an . order incorrectly on 
 parade, and a hot and teasing argument re- 
 sulted. Unfortunately, that evening the mess 
 
262 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 table had been deserted for the theatre, where 
 the officers had patronized a play and the dis- 
 putants were left together at a moment when 
 the presence of a judicious friend might have 
 easily averted the catastrophe. Heated with wine, 
 and exasperated by what he conceived a profes- 
 sional insult, Campbell left the table, hastened 
 to his apartments, loaded his pistols, returned, 
 sent for Captain Boyd, brought him to an inner 
 mess-room, closed the door, and, without the 
 presence of a friend or witness, demanded instant 
 satisfaction. Shots were promptly interchanged 
 and by the first fire, Boyd fell, mortally wounded. 
 The dying man was removed to his barrack- 
 rooms, and Campbell hastened from the scene of 
 blood. The storm of passion quickly subsided, 
 and the bosom of the wretched homicide was 
 tortured with unavailing remorse. In a state of 
 mental frenzy he rushed to the chamber where 
 his victim lay, supported by his distracted wife 
 and surrounded by his infant family. Upon his 
 knees the homicide supplicated pardon, and urged 
 Boyd to admit a that every thing was fair." The 
 dying man, whose sufferings were intense, to the 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 263 
 
 repeated entreaties of his opponent replied 
 Yes it was fair but, Campbell, you are a 
 bad man you hurried me," and shortly after- 
 wards expired in his wife's arms. 
 
 When the melancholy event was communi- 
 cated, at the solicitation of his friends Campbell 
 left the town. No attempt was made to arrest 
 him and he might have remained in partial 
 retirement had he pleased. But his high spirit 
 could not brook concealment and, contrary to 
 the entreaties of his family, and the opinion of 
 his professional advisers, he determined to risk 
 a trial and in due time he surrendered himself, 
 previous to the summer assizes. 
 
 From the moment the unfortunate duellist 
 entered the prison gates, his mild and gentle- 
 manly demeanour won the commiseration of all 
 within. The governor, confident in the honour 
 of his prisoner, subjected him to no restraint 
 he occupied the apartments of the keeper went 
 over the building as he pleased received his 
 friends held unrestricted communication with 
 all that sought him and, in fact, was a captive 
 but in name. 
 
264 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 I shall never forget the 13th of August, 1808. 
 I arrived in Armagh the evening of the major's 
 trial, and when I entered the court-house, the 
 jury had retired to consider the verdict they 
 should pronounce. The trial had been tedious 
 twilight had fallen and the hall of justice, dull 
 at best, was rendered gloomier from the partial 
 glare of a few candles, placed upon the bench 
 where Judge was seated. A breathless 
 anxiety pervaded the assembly, and the ominous 
 silence that reigned throughout the court was 
 unbroken by a single whisper. I felt an unu- 
 sual dread, a sinking of the heart, a difficulty of 
 respiration, as I timidly looked round the melan- 
 choly crowd. My eyes rested on the judge 
 he was a thin bilious-looking being, and his cold 
 and marble features had caught an unearthly 
 expression from the shading produced by the 
 accidental disposition of the candles. I shud- 
 dered as I gazed upon him for the fate of a 
 fellow-creature was hanging upon the first words 
 that should issue from the lips of that stern and 
 inflexible old man. From the judge my eyes 
 turned to the criminal what a subject the con- 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 265 
 
 trast offered to the artist's pencil ! In the front 
 of the bar, habited in deep mourning, his arms 
 folded and crossed upon his breast, the homicide 
 was awaiting the word that should seal his des- 
 tiny. His noble and commanding figure, thrown 
 into an attitude of calm determination, was grace- 
 ful and dignified ; and while on every counte- 
 nance beside a sickening anxiety was visible, 
 neither the twinkle of an eyelash, nor the motion 
 of the lip, betrayed on the prisoner's face the 
 appearance of discomposure or alarm. Just then 
 a slight noise was heard a door was softly and 
 slowly opened one by one the jury returned to 
 their box the customary question was asked by 
 the clerk of the crown, and Guilty, was faintly 
 answered, accompanied with a recommendation to 
 mercy. 
 
 An agonizing pause succeeded the court was 
 silent as the grave the prisoner bowed respect- 
 fully to the jury then, planting his foot firmly 
 on the floor, he drew himself up to his 
 full height, and calmly listened to his doom. 
 Slowly Judge assumed the fatal cap and, 
 
 N 
 
266 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 all unmoved, he pronounced, and Campbell heard 
 his sentence. 
 
 While the short address which sealed the 
 prisoner's fate was being delivered, the silence 
 of the court was broken only by smothered sobs 
 but when the sounds ceased, and " Lord have 
 mercy on your soul" issued from the ashy lips of 
 that stern old man, a groan of horror burst from 
 the auditory, and the Highland soldiers, who 
 thronged the court, ejaculated a wild " Amen," 
 while then: flashing eyes betrayed how power- 
 fully the fate of their unhappy countryman had 
 affected them. 
 
 Nor did the result of his trial disturb the 
 keeper's confidence in the honour of the con- 
 demned soldier. On his return to the jail, a 
 simple assurance that he would not escape was 
 required and given ; and to the last, Campbell 
 enjoyed all the comfort and liberty which the 
 prison could afford. 
 
 Meantime, the strongest exertions were made 
 to save him. Petitions from the jury, the grand 
 panel of the county, and the inhabitants of 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 267 
 
 Armagh, were forwarded to the lord lieutenant ; 
 but the judge declined to recommend the convict, 
 and consequently the Irish government refused 
 to interfere. A respite, however, was sent down, 
 to allow the case of the unfortunate gentleman 
 to be submitted to the king. 
 
 For a time the agony of Campbell's wife was 
 severe beyond endurance; but, by a wonderful 
 exertion, she recovered sufficient fortitude to 
 enable her to set out in person for London, to 
 throw herself at the queen's feet, and implore 
 commiseration and a pardon. To cross the chan- 
 nel before steam had been introduced was fre- 
 quently tedious and uncertain ; and when the 
 lady reached the nearest point of embarkation, 
 her journey was interrupted, for a gale of unusual 
 violence was raging, and every packet storm- 
 stayed at the other side. 
 
 She stood upon the pier in a state of exquisite 
 wretchedness. The days of that being whom she 
 loved were numbered and to reach the seat of 
 mercy was forbidden ! The storm was at its height 
 a mountainous sea broke outside the harbour 
 while a crowd anxiously watched the progress of 
 
268 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 a fishing-boat, which, under close-reefed canvas, 
 was struggling to beat up to the anchorage. 
 
 The success of the little bark was for a time 
 uncertain. The spray flew in sheets over the 
 mast-head ; and frequently the vessel was shut 
 from the view of those on shore. But seaman- 
 ship prevailed the pier was weathered and, 
 amid the cheers of their companions and the 
 caresses of their wives, the hardy crew disem- 
 barked. 
 
 At that moment, the sorrow of the lady attracted 
 the notice of the crowd, and it was whispered 
 that she was wife to the unhappy convict, whose 
 fate, even in that remote spot, had excited an unu- 
 sual sympathy. An aged fisherman stood near 
 her, and Mrs. Campbell inquired " if the weather 
 was likely to moderate?" The mariner looked 
 at the sky attentively, and shook his head. " Oh 
 God! he will be lost," she murmured: " coidd 
 I but cross that angry sea, he might yet be saved f" 
 Her words were overheard by the crew of the 
 fishing-boat, who were securing its moorings to 
 the pier. A momentary consultation took place 
 and, with one consent, they offered to carry her 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 269 
 
 across or perish. "It is madness," said the old 
 man "no boat can live in yonder broken sea." 
 But the courage of the hardy fishermen was 
 unshaken the lady was placed on board the 
 skirt of the main-sail set and after a passage, as 
 remarkable for its shortness as its danger, they 
 reached the Scottish shore in safety. To the 
 honour of these noble fellows be it recorded, that 
 they refused to accept one shilling from the 
 mourner; and after conveying her to a carriage, 
 they bade her a respectful but a mournful adieu. 
 
 The commiseration of all classes was painfully 
 increased by the length of tune that elapsed 
 between the trial and death of Major Campbell. 
 In prison, he received from his friends the most 
 constant and delicate attention ; and one lady, 
 
 the wife of Captain , seldom left him. She 
 
 read to him, prepared his meals, cheered his 
 spirits when he drooped, and performed those 
 gentle offices of kindness which are so peculiarly 
 the province of a woman. When intelligence 
 arrived that mercy could not be extended and 
 the law must take its course, she boldly planned 
 an escape from prison ; but Campbell recoiled 
 
270 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 from a proposition that would compromise his 
 honour with the keeper. " What !" he exclaimed, 
 when assured that otherwise his case was hope- 
 less, "shall I break faith with him who trusted 
 in it ? I know my fate, and am prepared to meet 
 it manfully ; but never will I deceive the person 
 who confided in my honour." 
 
 Two evenings before he suffered, Mrs. 
 
 was earnestly urging him to escape. The clock 
 struck twelve, and Campbell hinted that it was 
 time she should retire. As usual he accompanied 
 her to the gate and on entering the keeper's room, 
 they found him fast asleep. Campbell placed his 
 finger on his lip. " Poor fellow," he said in a 
 whisper to his fair companion, " would it not be 
 a pity to disturb him ?" Then taking the keys 
 softly from the table, he unlocked the outer 
 wicket. " Campbell," said the lady, "this is 
 the crisis of your destiny this is the moment of 
 
 escape horses are in readiness, and The 
 
 convict put his hand upon her mouth "Hush!" 
 he replied, as he gently forced her out, "would 
 you have me violate my promise ?" Bidding 
 her " good night," he locked the wicket carefully, 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 271 
 
 replaced the keys, and retired to his chamber 
 without awaking the sleeping jailor. 
 
 The last scene of his life was in perfect keeping 
 with the calm and dignified courage he had 
 evinced during his confinement. The night 
 before his execution the chaplain slept in his 
 room. This gentleman's exertions to obtain a 
 remission of punishment had been incessant ; and 
 now, when hope was at an end, he laboured to 
 prepare the doomed soldier for the trying hour 
 that awaited him. On that melancholy night 
 he never closed his eyes, while Campbell slept 
 as quietly as if no extraordinary event should 
 happen on the morrow. To the last his courage 
 was unshaken and while his friends were dis- 
 solved in grief, he was manly and unmoved. He 
 mounted the stone stairs leading to the scaffold 
 with a firm and measured step ; and while the 
 rope was being adjusted, the colour never left 
 his cheek, nor did his countenance betray the 
 slightest agitation. 
 
 One circumstance disturbed his equanimity for 
 a moment. On entering the press-room, the 
 executioner, frightfully disguised, suddenly pre- 
 
272 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 sented himself. Campbell involuntarily shrunk 
 from this loathsome being but, as if annoyed 
 that the wretch should shake his firmness, he 
 calmly desired him to proceed, and take care 
 that the arrangements for death were such as 
 should make his transit from the world as brief 
 as possible. 
 
 It was a curious incident attendant on this 
 melancholy event, that the forty-second regiment, 
 with whom he had served in Egypt, then 
 garrisoned the town; and' that the same men 
 whom Campbell led to a bayonet-charge against 
 the Invincibles of Napoleon, formed the jail-guard 
 that witnessed his execution. The feelings of 
 the Highlanders, when drawn out to witness the 
 ignominious end of their lion-hearted comrade, 
 were indescribable. When the sufferer appeared 
 at the fatal door, a yell of anguish pealed along 
 the ranks, and every bonnet was removed. 
 Campbell addressed a few words to them in 
 Gaelic, and instantly every face was upturned 
 to heaven; every cheek was bathed in tears; 
 every lip uttered a prayer for mercy at the 
 judgment-seat; and when the board, descending 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 273 
 
 with thundering violence, announced the moment 
 of dissolution, the fearful groan that burst from 
 the excited soldiery will never be forgotten.* 
 
 After being suspended only till life was 
 extinct, the body was placed in a shell a 
 hearse in waiting received it drove off rapidly 
 and the remains of the ill-starred soldier 
 were conveyed to Scotland. There, the clan and 
 relatives of the deceased were waiting to pay 
 the last tribute of their regard. In immense 
 numbers they escorted the body to the family 
 
 * A gentleman who had been active in vain endeavours to 
 obtain a mitigation of Major Campbell's punishment, was stand- 
 ing at his own hall-door at a considerable distance from the place 
 of execution. Just as the drop fell, the soldiery, annoyed by 
 the pressure of the crowd, wheeled suddenly round, and pre- 
 sented their bayonets, as if about to charge. A wild panic seized 
 the multitude, and a cry arose that " the soldiers were about to 
 fire." On hearing the alarm, those on the outside of the crowd 
 rushed from the scene in affright, proclaiming, as they hurried 
 towards their homes, that " the soldiers were firing on the peo- 
 ple, and a number were already slain." The effect upon the 
 gentleman alluded to was singular. He heard distinctly the 
 volleys of the soldiery, and that, too, at the regular intervals when 
 muskets could have time to be reloaded. The whole was imagi- 
 nary not a shot was fired : but he declares that the illusion was 
 so strong, that the volleys were as distinctly delivered as they 
 had been when the regiment had been inspected. 
 
 M 9 
 
274 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 cemetry and in the poet's words " They laid 
 him in his father's grave." 
 
 The evening wore pleasantly on and the 
 weather showed symptoms of amendment. The 
 rain had ceased the sky cleared and the moon 
 " went racking through her clouds," as they 
 careered over the blue sky, and by times dis- 
 closed and hid " pale Cynthia's chaste cold 
 smiles." The witching hour of night was close 
 at hand and yet, if laugh and song were 
 proof, the revelry in the commander's domicile 
 continued with unabated spirit. 
 
 " Jack," exclaimed the host, as he exhibited 
 an empty glass, " I swear by thy punch, as 
 devoutly as I abjure thy politics. Come, 
 another stoup before we part and season the 
 mixture with one of thy pleasant adventures. 
 Whether it be love or war, it matters not. 
 Tell us how cleverly you pinked the white-footed 
 patriot, who lay in wait for you when return- 
 ing from the fair or whisked the miller's 
 
THE CONDEMNED SOLDIER. 275 
 
 daughter through the window, even while the 
 father, the priest, and the old carle who had 
 come to wed her, were settling the tocher in 
 the kitchen." 
 
 " No more of that, an* thou lov'st me, 
 Hal," replied the colonel's kinsman, with a 
 smile. " Last autumn, gentlemen, I was caught, 
 as you were yesterday, in a gale of wind, and 
 obliged to become a sojourner, and longer too 
 than I wished, in a wild and racketty mansion 
 situated in " the far west," and in that safe and 
 pleasant district, whose staple manufactures are 
 restricted to whiskey and Connemara hose. 
 The cellar was tolerably stocked the book- 
 case perfectly empty and the latest paper just 
 a fortnight old. I tired of playing ecarte all 
 day long upon the plate- warmer and conse- 
 quently, the host set me down a bore while the 
 priest being a twenty-tumbler man I could not 
 " come the pace" at night ; and therefore, his re- 
 verence declared me nothing better than a milk- 
 sop. What could I do? After some delay in 
 determining between 'felo de se' and author- 
 ship, I chose the latter, and chronicled the 
 
276 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 occurrences of my visit. How far I am 
 destined to c star it' in the literary world, it 
 is not for me to say. ' On their own merits 
 modest men are dumb ;' but to you, I shall 
 read my first essay, entreating c a gentle 
 judgment' on these my ' inklings of adventure,' 
 as Yankee gentlemen now-a-days are pleased to 
 designate their lucubrations." , 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 
 
 SEPT. 27. Yes the sea-coast, be the weather 
 what it may, offers an everlasting variety. The 
 rain falls incessantly; the wind blows a regular 
 
 sou-wester ; and though we be well sheltered 
 
 
 
 by the bold hill which forms the entrance of 
 the bay, the blast moans through the oak 
 wood, and drives in gusts against the windows. 
 The tide has been for some time flowing, and 
 boats and hookers are running for the islands 
 to shelter from the gale. Their appearance, as 
 they pass the shoulder of the headland, is pictu- 
 resque. Ha ! the cruiser, a ten-gun cutter, 
 stands in under easy sail, followed by a man- 
 of-war brig ! " Hazy weather, Master Noah, 
 outside, I guess." This bodes badly for to- 
 morrow. A whale within five leagues and I 
 not see it ! " Patience, cousin" south-west 
 winds cannot blow for ever. 
 
278 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 28th "A fresh hand at the bellows." In 
 simple English, it blows a gale; and a gale on 
 this coast ! here where the Atlantic comes 
 tumbling in, with every billow like a mountain. 
 Heavens ! how the spray flies over the ridge 
 of rock which stretches seaward from the point, 
 while the waves, in quick succession, rush up 
 the sandy cove, and break upon the beach in 
 thunder. The rain has ceased, and we are 
 going to shoot. Shoot what ? why, two 
 servants can scarcely close the hall door. But 
 time will tell. 
 
 Provided with an ample supply of heavy 
 shot, and a couple of attendants with gaffs and 
 boat-hooks, we set out for this novel ; chasse ;' 
 but from previous preparation I could not 
 possibly conjecture what our pursuit should 
 be. Westward, the hill which rises abruptly 
 from the ocean presents to the eternal roll of 
 the Atlantic a cordon of almost inaccessible 
 cliffs, varying in height from thirty to three 
 hundred feet. A narrow goat-path winds over 
 the brows of these tremendous precipices, and 
 leads to two or three inlets in the face of the 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 279 
 
 hill, terminating in huge, black, unexplored 
 caverns, into which a human being has never 
 ventured. Indeed to investigate them would 
 be impossible ; they are too narrow and irregular 
 to admit the entrance of a boat; and, in the 
 calmest day, the swell breaks with violence 
 inside. Within these caverns, immense numbers 
 of wild pigeons roost and build ; and in the 
 face of the cliffs around, choughs and corvo- 
 rants particularly if the evening be stormy 
 occupy every point which can afford them 
 rest and shelter. 
 
 With some difficulty we descended to one 
 of these caves ; for the rocky path, rendered 
 slippery by rain and spray, made a cautious 
 descent necessary while the roar of the surf 
 against the rocks, with the feeling of insecurity, 
 in treading the verge of a giddy precipice, 
 produced sensations any thing but agreeable. 
 We reached the bottom safely and then the 
 work of death commenced. 
 
 On the first report of a gun, a flight of 
 pigeons issued from the cavern ; and these birds, 
 once disturbed, continued occasionally returning 
 
280 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 to their holes during the hour we remained. 
 Of these we shot some twenty ; and by means 
 of our gaff and boat-hook got them out of the 
 surf, with only the loss of a couple. But the 
 black hags as the peasantry call the different 
 varieties of the corvorant afforded us constant 
 practice ; and, while we remained, a regular fusi- 
 lade was maintained upon those unfortunate birds. 
 Flock upon flock continued, as the evening 
 advanced, to come in rapid succession from sea 
 to seek their usual resting-places; and when we 
 left the cave, we had bagged enough black game 
 to load a donkey. I understood that the peasants 
 who picked them up, skinned and dressed them 
 for food but judging from their rancid smell, 
 they must have been abominable. 
 
 29th. The gale has moderated ; but it yet 
 blows fresh, with a heavy broken sea. Not a 
 sail upon the water all safe within the islands 
 and there they seem determined to remain. We 
 have held a consultation with Tom Hush, the 
 skipper of the best hooker in the bay. He 
 says we shall make the landing-place of Innis 
 Turk in half-a-dozen stretches, and have a 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 281 
 
 leading wind home. Of course we must calcu- 
 late upon wet jackets ; but, surely, a man would 
 submit to be half drowned to see a " veritable" 
 whale and so we will venture. 
 
 Under a close-reefed mainsail, foresail, and 
 a jib not bigger than a pocket-handkerchief, we 
 slipped our moorings, and stood across towards 
 Achill-beg. Reduced as our canvas was, it 
 was all we could do to carry it. The sea was 
 sadly agitated, as it ever is for some time after 
 such a gale as yesterday's. The hooker " made 
 all fly ;" and from the commencement to the close 
 of our voyage, we were under a sheet of spray. 
 But putting our trust in cothamores* and cognac 
 brandy, we accomplished the passage gallantly, 
 and were landed by a rowing boat in the cove 
 where the dead whale " lay in state." 
 
 This inlet forms the only landing-place upon 
 the island; and on the sand, and at high water 
 mark, the huge animal was hauled up. At a 
 little distance it resembled the hull of a lugger, 
 
 * Anglice Great coats. 
 
282 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 keel uppermost ; the length was above seventy 
 feet, and its whole appearance most extraordi- 
 nary. It had been dead, undoubtedly, for a con- 
 siderable time before it was discovered floating 
 on the ocean, for it was putrid when towed in 
 by the united efforts of every fishing-boat in 
 the island. That it had been harpooned, was 
 evident a wound of several inches' diameter and 
 considerable depth was visible in the side. 
 
 After cutting some of the laminae, or thin 
 whalebone, from the mouth, we walked once 
 more round to view the mighty monster carefully. 
 Our cicerone, as we paused to examine the wound, 
 determining that all our senses should be gra- 
 tified, removed a wisp of hay which filled the 
 orifice, and the most pestilential effluvia that 
 it is possible to imagine, issued from the hole. 
 I and my companion had nearly fainted, but 
 the islander seemed greatly gratified at the effect, 
 observing with a grin, in his peculiar English, 
 that " it was a fine beast, and she was a great 
 smell." Another puff of that infernal exhalation 
 would have finished us on the spot while Denis, 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 283 
 
 with wonderful sang froid, replaced the plug, 
 to keep the " great smell" in full force for the 
 next visitor. 
 
 The whale was fated, even after death, to 
 create an extraordinary sensation. The defunct 
 fish was claimed by the landlord, the captors, 
 and the admiralty and to whose lot it fell I 
 forget; but it was purchased by a Liverpool 
 merchant. Now he, " good easy man," omitted 
 to ascertain its species ; and, after sending a 
 vessel and multitude of casks for the blubber, 
 discovered too late that it was not a sperm 
 whale and that the bone for it had scarcely 
 any oil would not pay for the hoops upon 
 his puncheons. 
 
 We had a splendid passage home, and landed 
 safely in an hour and a quarter. This was a 
 grand finale to our expedition for to return from 
 Innis Turk is rather precarious, and -instances 
 have occurred of people being weather-bound 
 there, not for days, but months. A curious 
 anecdote is told to illustrate the uncertainty of 
 getting away. 
 
 A tailor, residing on the main, was brought 
 
284 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 one fine morning into the island, to make a suit 
 of clothes for a gentleman who had resolved 
 upon committing matrimony and when the 
 boat came to fetch him, the artist was planting 
 his potato crop. The weather changed before 
 his task was ended ; the communication with 
 the main was interrupted ; and this state of 
 affairs continued so long, that when the unfor- 
 tunate fraction of humanity was restored to his 
 sorrowing household, he found them occupied 
 in digging the very potatoes, upon the planting 
 of which, he had been engaged on that unlucky 
 day when he left Connemara for Turk Island. 
 
 Just as we were pulling off to the hooker, 
 a man, loaded with a pack, presented himself 
 upon the rocks, and begged to be accommodated 
 with a passage. We consented, and took the 
 stranger and his effects on board. He proved 
 to be one of those travelling dealers who traffic 
 with the islanders and mountain people, supply- 
 ing them with all their finery and articles of 
 " vertu" to wit, gilt rings, knitting-needles, 
 looking-glasses, and clasp-knives ; and in return 
 for barter is the order of the day receiving 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 285 
 
 stockings, rabbit skins, feathers, and dried fish. 
 The wandering merchant, our " compagnon du 
 voyage," was bound for the main, with a mis- 
 cellaneous cargo of Connemara socks and salted 
 whitings. It is a hard and adventurous life that 
 these men lead. No island on this stormy coast 
 remains unvisited nor does a mountain glen or 
 solitary sheeling escape their trafficking re- 
 searches. 
 
 A few days before our visit to Innis Turk, a 
 foul murder was accidentally revealed. There is 
 a bleak and expansive plain, stretching for several 
 miles between the sea at Doohooma and the 
 mountain of Shrike ; and through it, one of those 
 tributary streams which fall into the estuary at 
 Bally croy, flows. A foot-path crosses the waste 
 but it is rarely trodden by any save herdsmen, 
 and the pedlars who periodically visit this wild 
 and unfrequented district. 
 
 The moorland, notwithstanding its extent, is 
 so very flat, that objects upon its surface may be 
 seen distinctly, excepting in the centre of the 
 plain, where the ground dips suddenly, and forms 
 a green and lovely valley. The river flows gently 
 
286 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 through this dell ; the grass is short and verdant ; 
 here, the shooter will repose himself and here, the 
 wayfarer suspend his journeying. One hesitates 
 to leave this oasis for the fens and wastes that 
 encompass it. Upon its freshness the eye reposes. 
 There is a holy calmness in its solitude that the 
 heart loves : and the murderer must be dead to 
 the voice of nature altogether, who would dese- 
 crate this sweet spot by " a damning deed of 
 blood." 
 
 Eivers, dependent upon mountain sources, rise 
 and fall with astonishing rapidity. In the morn- 
 ing, a volume of discoloured water rushed through 
 the channel of this moorland stream, tearing down 
 its banks, and sweeping off every obstacle that 
 opposed resistance to its fury. At evening, the 
 peasant girl threw a glance around to see that no 
 curious eye observed her, tucked her short kirtle 
 above the knee, crossed the abated waters without 
 difficulty, and merrily pressed up the bank on 
 her way to join the dance, which, on that night, 
 was to be holden at a village beyond the wide 
 and dreary moor. 
 
 But ere she proceeded many steps, an object 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 287 
 
 met her view, which sent the blood to her heart, . 
 and changed her light carol to a shriek of horror. 
 Close to the path, a human hand appeared above 
 the turf. It was bare bleached by the recent 
 overflow of the river and encircled by a scarlet 
 cuff. Averting her eyes, she fled from the little 
 dell, hurried across the waste, rushed into the first 
 house she reached, and fainted. 
 
 They recovered her, and she told the cause 
 of her dismay. Instantly a number of the pea- 
 santry repaired to the spot, disinterred the corpse, 
 and recognised it by the dress, (a soldier's slop- 
 jacket,) to be the body of a pedlar, who, with a 
 comrade of the same calling, had passed that way 
 some weeks before. That the dead man had been 
 robbed and murdered were equally apparent ; his 
 pack was gone, his pockets rifled, and a dreadful 
 fracture in the back of the head, told by what 
 foul means the wretched victim had met his death. 
 After the deed was done, the assassin had concealed 
 the body in a hole and covered it slightly with 
 turf, which the river, in its overflow, reached and 
 removed, and thus betrayed the murder. Inqui- 
 ries were made ; suspicions, amounting almost 
 
288 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 to certainty, fell upon the companion of the 
 deceased, and his absconding confirmed them. 
 Sweeney for so the wretch was named had, 
 however, hitherto evaded apprehension. 
 
 The person we received on board, had known 
 the deceased and his murderer well, and his own 
 escape from the monster seemed providential. 
 He told us that he had been in Erris, disposed 
 of his pack, and was returning to Castlebar to 
 procure a fresh supply. In a pass of the hills, 
 he met Sweeney on his journey into that wild 
 peninsula which he was leaving. After some 
 conversation, the murderer declared that he 
 would proceed no farther, but accompany his 
 fellow-dealer to the town. This was a strange de- 
 termination in one who had already carried a heavy 
 load for thirty miles and now, when within a 
 short distance of his market, abandoned it for no 
 cause, and without making an attempt to sell 
 the wares he had brought in. 
 
 There are two routes from Erris to the town 
 of Newport. That commonly taken, runs through 
 the lowlands, and, skirting an inlet of the sea, 
 unites itself to the main road at Dhuhill. The 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 289 
 
 other is a disused path, winding through the 
 mountains wild, difficult, and solitary beyond 
 conception. None but smugglers and dealers in 
 illicit whiskey travel by this deserted route 
 and if any thing could render it gloomier, the 
 frequent cairns which record fatal accidents 
 and half-forgotten murders, would supply it 
 well. 
 
 Our fellow-voyager spoke English but indif- 
 ferently. Every body conversant with the habits 
 and manners of the western peasantry may have 
 observed, that when they have a tale of passion 
 or interest to narrate, their native language is 
 preferred, as they feel that from its force, variety, 
 and copiousness, they can convey ideas more 
 efficiently than if they used " the tongue of 
 the sassenach." Our companion, of course, was 
 no exception and his escape from the murderer 
 may be thus translated : 
 
 " When we reached the point where the hill- 
 path meets the road, Sweeney proposed that we 
 should take the c short cut/ He said, that he 
 had friends beyond the mountains ; they would 
 make us welcome ; and we should have supper, 
 
 o 
 
290 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 a bed, and whiskey galore .* This was a great in- 
 ducement ; the route was shorter by ten miles ; and 
 though the old road had a bad name, and I had 
 four-and-twenty pounds in hard money in my pocket, 
 yet, as I had company, I consented to take it. 
 
 " We proceeded for a mile or two ; the last 
 village was in sight, and the sun had a full hour 
 yet before he would sink behind the hills. I 
 don't know why it was, but my heart failed, and 
 every step I took seemed heavy, as if my shoes 
 were filled with lead yet I was light, and 
 Sweeney loaded. He urged me on, and seemed 
 anxious to pass the village without stopping; 
 talked from time to time of trade ; and at 
 last inquired 'if I had brought, this turn, a 
 large pack into Erris ?' I had already taken 
 alarm I stole a side glance at him and 
 murder was in his eye ! He always carried 
 a yard measure of heavy oak ; it had worn a 
 little at one end, and a copper strap was 
 nailed upon it. Commonly, he used it as a 
 walking-staff, or to support his pack when 
 
 * Anglice In abundance. 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 291 
 
 light : but now he clutched it firmly by the 
 middle, as if the hand obeyed the heart mecha- 
 nically, and was prepared before the time to 
 do the deed of murder ! 
 
 " I took my resolution ; the village was only 
 a cluster of wretched cabins but there, I should 
 be safe till daylight ; and when I reached 
 the first house, I told him that I was tired, 
 and would proceed no farther. He seemed 
 thunder-struck; he argued, and he coaxed me; 
 6 it was but three short miles to his cousin's 
 there, was a- warm bed there, was a good 
 supper.' But I was determined. Then his 
 temper failed ; his face Christ pardon us ! 
 looked like the devil's ; and had we not been 
 in the village, I'm sure he would have killed 
 me on the spot. Just at that moment, the 
 poor youth he murdered came up. He was 
 travelling into Erris, and had come by the 
 mountain road. Sweeney declared at once, that 
 he would retrace his steps ; and before his victim 
 had time to sit down, he hurried him off, darting 
 a look of deadly hatred at me, the victim who 
 had escaped his doom. 
 
292 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 " You know the rest, gentlemen. He kept 
 with him, night and day, until his goods were 
 sold and then when they reached a proper 
 spot, he did the deed of murder." 
 
 As I have mentioned this anecdote, I must 
 become the chronicler of Mr. Sweeney. The 
 murder occurred in my immediate bailiwick ; and 
 for a time, the villain skulked among his clan 
 in Achill and Ballycroy, and evaded every 
 attempt I made to apprehend him. Finding, 
 however, that it would be impossible to elude 
 my efforts long, and trusting to the secrecy 
 with which the foul act had been perpetrated, 
 he came in and surrendered. 
 
 I have seen some noted felons ; I saw the 
 Burkers on the scaffold but I never looked 
 upon a countenance where nature had written 
 blood so legibly as on Sweeney's. He was an 
 under-sized, bullet-headed, beetle-browed savage, 
 with hair black and curled like a negro. His 
 lips were thick, his eyes small, quick, and 
 restless ; his form that of a stunted Hercules ; * 
 such limbs, shoulders, and neck I never looked 
 at; and it is a curious fact, that to this sur- 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 293 
 
 passing strength, he owed, in a great degree, 
 his conviction. 
 
 Knowing the localities of the country, Sweeney 
 chose the little dell as the safest place wherein 
 to dispatch his ill-fated companion. The path 
 was narrow the victim led the way the mur- 
 derer followed. With one shattering stroke the 
 deed was done and the pedlar's skull was 
 crushed as if stricken by a crow-bar. But the 
 violence of the blow detached the copper strap 
 from the measure. It was found beside the 
 body identified by the ship-carpenter who had 
 nailed it on and hence, no doubt remained 
 as to the means by which the murder was 
 effected. 
 
 For three assizes Sweeney's trial had been 
 postponed a material link in the chain of 
 evidence being wanting. A beggarwoman, whose 
 name and residence were totally unknown, had 
 been by accident wandering in Erris. She had 
 crossed the moor the morning of the murder ; 
 met the pedlars proceeding towards the dell ; 
 saw both descend together ; had sat down to 
 rest ; and, in a short time, observed but one 
 
294 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 man quit the valley, and he was the shorter 
 of the two. The very ' morning of the trial, 
 she unexpectedly appeared in Castlebar, She 
 knew not even that a murder had been per- 
 petrated, until she was ascending the table to 
 assist in the conviction of the assassin. 
 
 Sweeney was not twenty years old when he 
 suffered. For nearly two years, while he 
 remained in prison, he steadily denied his 
 guilt; but the moment that the jury re- 
 turned their verdict, he confessed every circum- 
 stance attendant on the murder. The memory 
 of the foul act never appeared to have, disturbed 
 him for a moment. He spoke of nothing but 
 what he should do when liberated; slept 
 soundly ; eat and drank heartily ; and during 
 his confinement, became amazingly fat. He 
 seemed a tiger-hearted monster one to whose 
 wolfish nature, pity and remorse were alien. 
 
 It was a lucky circumstance for society that 
 he was so speedily removed from the world. 
 He had tasted blood and had he been unfor- 
 tunately loosed again on mankind, he would 
 have lived on spoliation obtained by murder* 
 
LEAVES FROM A GAME BOOK. 295 
 
 I could have knocked down a puling senti- 
 mentalist who attended the ruffian's execution. 
 He pitied, forsooth, the " poor young man," 
 and reprobated the sanguinary code of Britain, 
 that would consign " a fellow-creature to the 
 gallows." Pity a bloodhound, that for days 
 had hung upon his victim, and done that 
 ruthless deed to obtain a sum not amounting 
 to five pounds ! I confess that I saw the 
 monster hanged with pleasure but then, I 
 am not a man of sentiment/ 
 
 9k jfc & $ 
 
 " Alas !" said the colonel, "that this, 'the 
 sweetest hour i' th' night,' should be the one 
 for parting. But, gentlemen, I cannot pre- 
 sume to stay you longer than the morning. 
 I know a soldier's leave is limited and Mr. 
 Selwyn avows that he must return to Fig-tree 
 Court incontinently and therefore, the furloughs 
 of the " Die-hard" and the " Devil's Own,"* it 
 seems are fast expiring. You, Mr. O'Donel, plead 
 
 * Soubriquets given to the fifty-seventh regiment, and the 
 Lawyer's Corps. 
 
296 RAMBLING RECOLLECTIONS. 
 
 / 
 
 matrimony, and state yourself in consequence to be 
 " a man under authority." I fear, I cannot con- 
 trovert that plea for I have heard, that at 
 times, the white Serjeant' proves as tight a 
 hand, as the most fidgetty field officer that 
 ever commanded a battalion. I part from you 
 with regret, slightly abated by the promise you 
 hold out of again beating up my quarters. May 
 you, sir, be promoted in the next Gazette 
 and you, who have already attained the highest 
 flight of human happiness to the returning 
 welcomes of your "lady-love," I consign you 
 with the best wishes of an old bachelor. 
 Once more, gentlemen 
 
 ' To one and all, / drink a fair good night.' 
 
 THE END. 
 
 DUBLIN : 
 
 PRINTED BY JOHN S. FOLDS, SON, AND PATTON, 
 5. Bachelor i-walk. 
 
VC 
 
 YD 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY