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CROKERIANA; 
 
 on, 
 
 "jfamWar epistles." 
 
 REPUBLISHED Atf D DEDICATED 
 
 TO 
 
 TRINITY COJLJLEGE. 
 
 Dublin. 
 
 1818. 
 
' ' • . ' • 
 
 

 DEDICATION 
 
 %o Xvinitv College, 
 
 DUBLIN. 
 
 J. HE following pages are dedicated to you, because they 
 relate to the efforts, the acts, and the defeat, of a body of men 
 nho have shown themselves no ordinary practitioners in the 
 arts of political intrigue. They will be a warning to every 
 succeeding Adventurer not to disturb the repose of youth, 
 or invade the seat of science, however greatly he may be 
 tempted by the selfish o ffe« of those persons who should 
 have been the most anxious to preserve their sanctuary 
 inviolate. 
 
 The public mistook your character ; they conceived that 
 you were a grave- a reverend body of men, retired from the 
 busy scenes and cares of the world* and occupied soiely with 
 the instruction and education of youth You have wide- 
 ceived them ;—by your own hands the mask has been re- 
 
 M84818 
 
IV DEDICATION. 
 
 moved, and you Appear in your natural colours, with all 
 the marks of monkish deformity ; — interested bigotted, 
 servile and venal. Your court embraces, have outrun even 
 yeur immoderate matrimonial desires,* and are only to be 
 equalled by the unexampled duplicity with which you have 
 treated your representative. Men are at a loss whether to 
 feel more disgusted at you for having abandoned Mr. 
 PlunJcet, or for having sent for Mr. Crotrer, and on your 
 behalf they feel a degree of shame to which you alone ap- 
 pear to be insensible. 
 
 Had your plan succeeded, the University would have 
 been taught arts as depraved as could be inculcated by any 
 corrupt ministerial magistrate, or by any interested set of 
 Jesuitical professors. Your object was to return to Parlia- 
 ment a Court Candidate ; you have been disappointed ; you 
 have begun but you have not accomplished your disgrace :you 
 have, however, done much mischief, for you have sown the 
 seeds of interested speculation in the bosom of your Uni- 
 versity. 
 
 7 he principles of liberty which you shoidd implant and 
 cultivate, you have banished from your Seminary. The 
 youthful talent of the country has been placed under re- 
 si mints and privations that neither tend to liberalise or to 
 improve : narrow and illiberal principles have been propa- 
 
 * Several of the Fellows addressed their representative to procure 
 the removal of a College Statute that prevents them from marrying ; 
 and some have declared they would vote for which ever of the two 
 candidates was most likely to accomplish this great national object. 
 
DEDICATION. V 
 
 gated with care, and are fait gaining ground under the 
 fostering protection of a pernicious assiduity ; the favour of 
 the great is the object sought for, and spirit and virtue are 
 the sacrifice. 
 
 Forgetting the circumstances in which your University 
 is placed, inasmuch as the sons of the nobility and of the 
 principal gentry of Ireland, are sent to receive their educa- 
 tion in England, — you proceed to encreasc this disadvantage, 
 and as if it "were to add to the estimation in which you 
 stand, you adopt such internal regulations, you display 
 such political principles, and volunteer such electioneering 
 artifice, as every honest man and every honourable mind 
 must be ashamed of — These proceedings mil lower you, 
 they will lower the character of your University, they will 
 impair Us spirit, and they will destroy its independence. 
 
 It is unnecessary to say which of you seek for promotion ; 
 
 in your Chancellor you will find a patron ; perhaps the 
 
 transaction o/'ISOT* is now forgotten, or if its virtue is not 
 
 forgiven by his generosity, it may at least be atoned foi by 
 
 * The Vice Chancellor attempted to procure a petition from the 
 University against the claim of the Roman Catholicks, the attempt, 
 much to the credit of that body, was resisted and failed, — in the debate 
 on the 9th of April, 1807, Mr. Plunket observed ■ when his (the 
 «» Duke of C*m *** 1 ** d.) first letter was not attended to, he 
 ' wrote a second, and he was sorry to say that in that letter the Itoy- 
 " til Duke had conveyed an insinuation too plain to be misunderstood, 
 41 that the only way for the University to recommend itself to his favour 
 11 was to present such a petition as he required." 
 
VI DEDICATION. 
 
 your compliance. The trade of Anti-Catholicism will co- 
 ver a multitude of political offences, it is still lucrative and 
 tempting, and some one among you may hope to be raised to 
 the Reverend bench for having trampled upon the rights of 
 his countrymen. 
 
 Proceed then ! and adorn Society with those principles 
 and those precepts in which yon have attempted to initiate 
 the University ; your fame will descend to posterity, for the 
 evil which you have done will outlive your memory ; no man 
 however will write your epitaph, for no language could af- 
 ford words strong enough to paint the rankness of your cha- 
 racter ; or the treachery of your conduct. 
 
 Your actions need not the aid of comment, they speak for 
 themselves, and will furnish posterity with a sad spectacle of 
 abandoned virtue and prostituted ambition, — it is however 
 to be hoped that the lesson will be of utility to mankind; 
 that they will view your conduct with holiest indignation, 
 and though they cannot efface the shame they will avoid the 
 example. 
 
 
CROKERIANA, 
 
 &c. &c. 
 
 LETTER I. 
 
 TO THE PROVOST AND FELLOWS OF 
 TRINITY COLLEGE. 
 
 Gentlemen, — Your conduct is singular; I wish 
 it were only novel and not censurable ; you return 
 to Parliament as representative of your University, 
 a man every way qualified for that honourable and 
 important duty; high in his profession at the Bar; 
 high in his station in the Senate ; able as a lawyer ; 
 cautious anil sagacious as a politician ; his principles 
 those of regulated liberty ; his mind that of a scho- 
 lar ; his manners and his education that of a gen- 
 tleman. 
 
 Thus qualified, you depute him to Parliament at 
 the precise moment that a financial question, highly 
 interesting to you, highly interesting to Ireland, and 
 of great moment to the Empire at large, is brought 
 forward amid the solitude of Irish members, who 
 a2 
 
talked,' complained j promised and did nothing; he 
 left his professional occupations and attended his 
 duty in Parliament, at no inconsiderable personal 
 loss 1 and Sn convenience. This you will admit was 
 the part of a faithful representative, and a disinter- 
 ested character On general grounds therefore, he 
 claimed your adherence and support; on private 
 grounds he claimed them also. 
 
 Some of you had applied for the repeal of a cer- 
 tain statute; you complained of a restriction by 
 which you were prevented from marrying, and had 
 recourse to your representative to procure, through 
 his intercession with certain persons, high in station 
 on the other side of the water, the desired relief. 
 Mere you had no reason to be dissatisfied, all that 
 could be done, he did ; every exertion or applica- 
 tion that could be useful, you well know was made 
 in your behalf, by your representative. Here then 
 were obligations of a private nature, here were du- 
 ties performed to the state ; here too were services 
 rendered to the individual members of the Uni- 
 versity. 
 
 Such has been the conduct of Mr. Plunket; 
 what has been yours ? Scarcely had he departed 
 from his own country, scarcely had he, in your ser- 
 vice, left the scene of his professional labours, and 
 the spot where he was in the daily and friendly ha- 
 bit of meeting his constituents, when you assemble, 
 cabal, and conspire ; you, or some of you, canvass 
 against your own representative ; you search around 
 for a candidate, and seek for any candidate, {except 
 one,)* to undermine the foundation on which you 
 
 * Mr. Leslie Foster. 
 
5 
 
 had placed your representative, and on which he 
 had so unwarily and honourably thought himself 
 securely seated ; at length you find, by chance, 
 the Secretary of the Admiralty, and put him m no- 
 mination. 9 
 
 I ask, what apology can you offer for such a pro- 
 ceeding? Have you been betrayed ? Has Mr. Plun- 
 ket gone over {against your consent) to the enemy's 
 camp, and has he entered the sultry regions of Court 
 favour and preferment? Or has he sold himself lor 
 a low popularity, to the wild and impotent extrava- 
 gance of democracy ? Come forward in your own 
 defence. If you dare not stand forth, as his ac- 
 cusers, appear at least in your own justification, and 
 assign some rational motive for such a secret spirit 
 of unaccountable treachery. Review the parlia- 
 mentary conduct of Mr. Plunket, and enquire if he 
 has acted in a manner injurious to his country, dis- 
 graceful to his constituents, or disreputable to his 
 own character. Perhaps you will say he could not 
 procure you wives ! but can you say that he ever sold 
 a political question affecting either you, your Uni- 
 versity, or your country ? or that he ever gave a 
 vote through corrupt or dishonest motives ? What ! 
 has his speech on the Union escaped your memory, 
 as well as forfeited your gratitude ! or perhaps you 
 will say that you have had recourse to Mr. Croker 
 as a more auspicious character, and that you omen 
 from his services in the case of the Duke of York, a 
 more active and effectual assistance in furthering the 
 project so near and dear to the hearts of the young 
 athletic members of the University. Is it not a shame 
 a 3 
 
to hear it said,' that grave, discreet, and composed 
 members of Alma Mater, should allege, as a serious 
 ground of complaint against Mr. Plunket, that he 
 did not sufficiently press, on their behalf, this fa- 
 vourite and abstemious scheme of matrimonial con- 
 nexion. Even suppose this modest and blushing 
 pretence to have any solid foundation, will any ra- 
 tional man in the community say that it formed a 
 good or sufficient ground for abandoning their old 
 representative, and setting up a competitor? Or 
 will any man be so base and abandoned as to assert 
 that it could, by any possibility, justify the unpre- 
 cedented manner adopted on this occasion — that 
 silent, sworn and secret cabal, or even the cold- 
 blooded, cold-hearted, spirit that led to this subter- 
 raneous plot, laid in the absence of their represen- 
 tative, and levelled at his peace and his character. 
 
 What terms of reproach? What feelings of in- 
 dignation too strong to express our disgust at such 
 unworthy, underhand Jesuitical proceeding i You 
 pride yourself on being the first of Corporations, 
 and you act little inferior to the lowest. You are 
 gentlemen and men of honour, and yet you suffer 
 yourselves to be seduced, deceived, or entrapped 
 into such a line of conduct against an honest indi- 
 vidual, your own representative, which if any per- 
 son from among your body had experienced in pri- 
 vate life, he would and must have resented and pu- 
 nished in the most exemplary manner. 
 
 I look for some other excuse to shelter you from 
 the general, undivided sentence of condemnation, 
 with which, in every circle and society, your con- 
 
duct is so unsparingly branded, and with difficulty I 
 at length form to mind the semblance of an apology ; 
 1 find it in a charge brought against Mr. Plunket, 
 that he sent one of his sons to an English University. 
 Admit this to be an offence against you of a most in- 
 sulting nature, the objection comes too late; you 
 should have rejected him on this ground before; 
 the offence had been committed when you had cho- 
 sen him your representative. With what grace or 
 truth, then, can any man come forward now and al- 
 lege as a charge against Mr. Plunket, that which 
 not only was not made at the period of the election, 
 but which, though well known then, was not only 
 passed over in silence, but pardoned, openly and 
 generally. Can any pretence be more barefaced or 
 more disgraceful. 
 
 What was the fact? Mr. Plunket, with the natu- 
 ral feelings of a father, did not think it proper that 
 two of his sons should enter together the same class. 
 In order, therefore, to prevent two brothers from 
 commencing their career in rivalry, and proceeding 
 to jealousy, he did, when unconnected with the 
 Dublin College, send one of his sons to an English 
 University. The feeling was good — the motive was 
 laudable, however, great and unpardonable you may 
 affect now to consider the transgression. 
 
 But, Sirs, this is not the way I shall answer you, 
 or defend him. In another and a damning manner 
 shall I extinguish this miserable, thread-bare pre- 
 tence; this false apology for a set of guilty and now 
 ashamed conspirators. What, Sirs, do you forget 
 your own history ? and has weakness rendered your 
 
memory treacherous like your conduct? 1 appeal to 
 the rising indignation of every man's recollection, to 
 taunt you with the reproach you deserve ! Can Ire- 
 land forget that you turned Mr. Grattan from your 
 walls, and flung his portrait with contumely from 
 your hall? Do you forget that you turned Mr. 
 Locke out of your course, and ceased to instruct the 
 rising generation in his admirable treatise on Civil 
 Government ? You> Mr. Provost, do you forget this ? 
 or do you offer this great flagrant measure, as an 
 atonement for your own former expressions ? Do you 
 forget that you shut up the Historical Society, and 
 put down that inestimable institution, prohibiting in 
 the very seat of science, lectures, readings, and de- 
 bates, oratory, history and composition ? Do you 
 forget that you have allowed Orange Societies to rear 
 their hideous heads, and instil the poison of their 
 principles, extending their noxious shade round the 
 spot where Locke was not allowed to rank even as 
 their competitor ? 
 
 Some of you must remember, that this Orange so- 
 ciety intrigued, caballed, and rejected from your Hisr 
 torical Society the son of that man whose picture you 
 thought a disgrace to the walls of your unprejudiced 
 academy. That this faction was only beaten down 
 by the superior sense and temper of a worthy band 
 of men, who did honour to your University, and 
 would have done honour to any. A Roberts, a 
 North, and a Buxton, stood against this Orange prin- 
 ciple, and succeeded. They thought that this chari- 
 table civility might in some measure redeem the cha- 
 racter of the College, and that the retribution paid 
 
to the son might be some atonement for the insult 
 offered to the father. I pass over the difficulties, the 
 objections, the cavils, the threats and opposition 
 thrown in the way of every liberal and popular ques- 
 tion that was proposed for discussion, in your Histo- 
 rical Society, and I arrive at once to this conclusion, 
 that if you proceed as you have begun, you may in- 
 deed wonder that your College should have so many 
 members, but you cannot wonder that those mem- 
 bers should have so little principle ; and you must 
 not be greatly surprised, if the sons of our nobility 
 and gentry are sent to another country, to receive 
 those lessons of liberality and of freedom that are 
 denied to them in their own. 
 
 Gentlemen, I shall take my leave, and shall only 
 add, that if Mr. Plunket should be deprived of hi* 
 scat as your Representative, he will return to an ho- 
 nourable exile, unsullied, and I trust unruffled by 
 your unworthy treatment. The gain you have in 
 prospect — the pleasures that you may dream of, I 
 know not. Your loss, I fear, will not be inconside- 
 rable ; his consolation will be, that he goes into ba- 
 nishment with a Grattan and a Locke. You appear 
 however, to leave your work incomplete, and but im- 
 perfectly to discharge this novel line of conduct, for 
 if you banish Mr. Locke, and reject Mr. Plunket, 
 you should not only elect Mr. Croker, but restore 
 Sir Robert Filmer. 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 Gentlemen — In the former letter which I wrote 
 upon this subject, I had the honour to address the 
 
10 
 
 heads of your University — the Provost and Fellows, 
 but, as a number of Scholars are on the eve of be- 
 ing declared* I take the liberty principally to ad- 
 dress them, as I am confident that from among you 
 will be found a regenerating spirit* that will not 
 merely revive the decaying principle, but purify the 
 unsound part of the Collegiate body. Young minds 
 generally incline to honest principle, to open, fair, 
 and disinterested proceedings ; for though the na- 
 ture of youth is not averse to novelty, yet it spurns 
 to make a change, at once sudden, secret, unac- 
 countable, and suspicious ; still less a change, brought 
 about at the expense of reputation. You will rea- 
 dily ageee with me, that the canvass against Mr. 
 Plunket, and the attempt, during his absence, to 
 Jostle him out of his seat for your University, de- 
 serve all these epithets. In no way had he offended ; 
 his political sentiments were not objected to; he was 
 neither the servile courtier, nor the fiery demagogue; 
 he spoke and voted as an independent man, not 
 bound to party, but led by principle. Yet he was at- 
 tacked unawares, and at a moment in which he could 
 not appear either to defend himself, or to counter- 
 act a plot so artful and insidious. 
 
 Anxious, therefore, as you must be for the fame 
 of your University, the only one that exists in this 
 country, and no doubt regretting that so many of 
 our gentry, and all our nobility, are invariably edu- 
 cated in England, (whether they conceive your se- 
 minary defective, or its principles inferior) it should 
 be your duty, as I hope it is your inclination, not 
 to add to, but on the contrary, to remove the ob^ 
 
11 
 
 jections and disadvantage under which your Univer- 
 sity now labours ; and show those persons guilty of 
 a double error who leave their own country and de- 
 sert a national institution ! But, how is this to be 
 effected? — not by such measures as I have detailed 
 in my first letter — not by narrow, bigotted, and 
 illiberal restrictions — not by regulations, severe and 
 repulsive, not by waging .war against the works of 
 great writers, or the pictures of great statesmen 
 — not by destroying all freedom of thought and 
 speech ; still less by such a use (or rather such an 
 abuse) of thatproud privilege, the Elective Franchise, 
 as is now attempted to be made. 
 
 Your University elect an independent member 
 at one moment, and in the next they attempt to 
 undermine him, and forthat purpose, have recourse to 
 a Government Secretary — the proceeding is dishonest 
 — the mode is disingenuous — the colouring is suspi- 
 cious ; tergiversation such as this, will make men re- 
 gret that you enjoy the privilege of Elective Fran- 
 chise, and it will become a question, whether for the 
 peace and purity of the University, it were not bet- 
 ter that the right should be withdrawn. 
 
 If the Heads of the College without any appea- 
 rance of Justice, or any assignable cause, have acted 
 in a manner that tends to lower the University in the 
 eyes of every honest and honourable mind, it is for 
 you to rescue it from disgrace — you may not be able to 
 reform their errors, but you can frustrate and avoid 
 them ; and though you cannot make the conduct 
 of your University, appear consistent, you may make 
 it by the event appear at least to be upright ; — there- 
 
12 
 
 fore it is that I appeal to you gentlemen scholars of 
 the University; it is your duty to come forward and 
 to remedy by the soundness of your youth, the de- 
 cayed principles of age, to correct the weaker part 
 of advanced years and more matured but illaudable 
 Dexterity ; you must efface the injury done to your 
 University, its name, its consistency, and its charac- 
 ter, — done by the Heads of the Col lege, who have laid 
 a plot against their representative in his absence, in 
 jorder to deprive him of his seat in Parliament which 
 by no act had he forfeited, which by no act had 
 he sullied, and which all parties both in and out of 
 the two Houses of Parliament considered him to be 
 preeminently qualified to fill. 
 
 I recal to your mind great examples upon which to 
 reflect, and from which to derive experience. — I ap- 
 peal to the memory of those spirited proceedings 
 that did honour to the University, and to your body 
 in particular, and invoke on your behalf their kind- 
 red feeling to inspirit you, and save from the disgrace 
 that awaits it the character of your College. I 
 refer you to the period of April, 17^2, of April 1796, 
 and the period of the Union. In the first, your 
 University addressed Mr. Burgh and Mr. Fitzgib- 
 bon, then your representatives. Mr. Burgh, a great 
 man, and a great name ; his virtues were pure pa- 
 patriotism, splendid as the services he rendered his 
 country. These members were called on to sup- 
 port a Declaration of Right — a Repeal of Poyning's 
 law, the Independency of the Judges, and a Repeal 
 of the Perpetual Mutiny bill. Mr. Burgh acceded 
 nstantly, [and in tcto : Mr. Fitzgibbon dissented 
 
IS 
 
 from the two first, but promised to support the tw» 
 last, even in the outset of his career, betraying the 
 tendency of a mind, enslaved by habit as by situa- 
 tion, selecting the minor propositions, that must 
 have been useless if the greater had been withheld ; 
 but Mr. Fitzgibbon had office in view, and sought 
 to raise himself. Mr. Burgh had sacrificed the hope 
 of office (such are the penalties of patriotism) and 
 sought only to raise his country. He did so ; he 
 beheld her Free; and he died the happiest of deaths, 
 crowned with the laurels that adorned his country, 
 having witnessed her glory, but not lived to behold 
 her disgrace. 
 
 Gentlemen, Mr. Burgh was not a placeman- 
 Mi*. Burgh was not a courtier — his habits were not 
 those of a Regent's palace — he wore no Regent's 
 Livery, and probably when he answered the Uni- 
 versity address in 1782, he was clad in plain Irish 
 stuff— not in the soft silken garments of a Royal 
 Household, nor of a Naval Officer — Mr. Burgh 
 never was a Courtier Jie never was a Secretary, 
 
 Turn to Mr. Fitzgibbon — you see that he dissent- 
 ed from the two main propositions that your Uni- 
 verity pressed him to support ; do you not know 
 his history? shortly after 1782 he became Attorney 
 General, then Lord Chancellor — turned Court ter- 
 magent — abused the people — abused his country — 
 trampled upon her rights — trod the people down by 
 dragoons — flogged their backs with lashes — sold his 
 country, and died, despised and detested, though re- 
 pentant.* Gentlemen, who obtained our free Con- 
 
 * The history and death of this wretched man may hereafter appear 
 in history, and will afford an awful lesson to posterity. 
 
u 
 
 stitution, and who sold it? Gentlemen, look upon 
 your walls ! you will not behold there Hussey Burgh; 
 but little John Fitzgibbon, tricked out in all his 
 fripper}', and standing as saucy and as proud as if 
 he trod upon his Country and your College. 
 ^Perhaps at some future day we may find some 
 other court representative will equally insinuate him- 
 self into the good graces of your University, become 
 immortalized by the sale of his country, honored 
 with a niche in your walls, thus cannonized for his na- 
 tional and distinguished services — Here then, I say, 
 you have an example for admiration and for cen- 
 sure ; here you behold an honest representative, un- 
 placed and unpensioned, serving you and your coun- 
 try, — you see also the other representative seeking 
 for place and pension, accepting both, and selling 
 you — your constitution and your country. 
 
 Gentlemen, beware of such a representative; look 
 on Mr. Plunket, he wears no livery, his coat is not 
 lined with Regent's trimming, he has no P. R. stamp- 
 ingfaUacy on his buttons, no initials representing 
 the Proxiissa Regia that are kept to the " ear and 
 broken tothe hope ;"* neither has he naval supporters, 
 nor does he canvas with latent promises, but he 
 stands upon his character, his services and his 
 merits — Gentlemen beware of a Court Secretary ! 
 
 I call your attention to the second period, April, 
 
 * Mr. Groker arrived post haste in Ireland, appeared immediately 
 in CoUcge, wore the Prince Regent's Uniform, G. P. It. on his but- 
 tons — had two naval officers in his suite, and took up his residence in 
 an apartment in the College prepared for the occasion !! would Ox- 
 ford or Cambridge endure this ! ! 
 
1795. The students of the University presented Mr. 
 Grattan with an address, approving of l)is political 
 conduct, approving of his measures, and requesting 
 him toperseverein his exertions for their attainment. 
 They lamented (that national calamity) the depar- 
 ture of Lord Fitzwilliam. Do you remember Mr. 
 Grattan's answer ? He said he was bound to your 
 University by every tie of affection and duty. Gen- 
 tlemen, were those feelings reciprocal ? He said he 
 received your address as the offering of the young 
 year — a better garland than the artificial honors of a 
 Court, Gentlemen, how quickiy did that garland 
 wither ! How quickly did the artificial honors of a 
 Court sullyits freshness and usurp its place ! — ducitur 
 unco spectandus — nunquam si mihi credis amavi hum 
 homincml Was this "the work of disinterested 
 hands and uncontaminatcu hearts ? M — " Look on 
 that picture and on this*" — you are not now proud 
 of that act ! Yet, what do ycu do? You are going to 
 pursue a similar measure ; you are called on to pro- 
 ceed in the old abandoned track ; you are going to 
 desert a faithful friend and to put in his place a 
 kovus homo; you are recurring to past ingratitude, 
 and are about to adopt a measure of which you must 
 be ashamed, and will repent — to remove an honest 
 man, your representative, and to substitute another 
 in his place; of whom all that the public know 
 is, that he uniformly votes with Government ; and 
 all that the College know is, that he holds an office 
 under Government; and all that every man believes, 
 is, that he will make as many promises as possible, 
 and keep as Jew. 
 
 B2 
 
16 
 
 \Vbat man is there who will not retort upon you 
 the words of that answer in 95, and say that you 
 have thrown away the garland with which your repre- 
 sentative adorned you, and in its place have chosen 
 *' the artificial honours of a Court!" who will call this 
 M the work of disinterested hands and uncontaminated 
 hearts ?" who will say this proceeding results from 
 * 4 principle enlightened by letters and supported by 
 jpirit ?" Do you not perceive the shame that 
 must inevitably attend such questionable transition, 
 and that your motives must appear suspicious, be- 
 cause they are unjust and unaccountable. 
 
 Here then I maintain that you have a warning ex* 
 ample found in your very Hall, in the seat of your 
 University. ..which example, instead of proposing to 
 follow, you should determine to avoid, and should 
 blush to realize the very practice, and act to the life 
 the same part which twenty years ago was performed 
 in effigy. 
 
 What popular inconsistency ever would appear 
 so great ? and how strange would it not seem that 
 men who exclude from their studies those very 
 books on the rights of the people, should so closely 
 follow the practice of the populace, should make 
 their fickleness the only example to follow, their 
 rights the only instruction to avoid, adopting in 
 practice the extreme of the rules they condemn 
 in theory, and affording to the world an instance 
 of whimsical inconstancy, greater than ever wild 
 Rom-e or mad Athens displayed in the most rapid 
 moments of treacherous insincerity. 
 
17 
 
 LETTER III. 
 
 Gentlemen.— In my last Letter, I submitted to 
 your consideration those two periods of the political 
 history of your L^niversity, which did it honour, and 
 upon which you ought to reflect with pride, and to 
 which you should refer, in order to derive a useful 
 lesson, which should direct you on the present impor- 
 tant occasion. I now arrive at the third period ; that 
 momentous period ! that fatal period ! — the Union I 
 You remember, Doctor Rrowne was then your repre- 
 sentative ; he voted for the Union, and, it is believed, 
 that it killed him, (certainly it ought;) but you can- 
 not forget what were his promises — what the address 
 of your University to him, and what the pledge ob- 
 tained from him. Yet what was his conduct? He 
 first promised to oppose the measure, and he after- 
 wards supported it. Will you then trust to pro- 
 mises ? Will you, after such a fatal example, so far 
 deceive yourselves, or suffer yourselves to be de- 
 ceived by the smooth, glossy words of any man, whe- 
 ther representative or candidate; even though that 
 candidate should be a naval Secretary ? Will you 
 prefer his words to another man's good acts ? Or will 
 you not rather reflect upon what Doctor Browne 
 promised, pledged and violated, and then, if you can, 
 trust to what Mr. Cr.ker may say, promise and vio- 
 late, just as Doctor Browne did, and just as Mr. 
 Plunket has not done. Is it possible that a grave and 
 sober set of men, can take up this P. R. Gentleman — 
 this promissa regia Secretary, and weigh him and his 
 
 airy promises and his delusive hopes, in the scale 
 b 3 
 
18 
 
 against Mr. Plunket and his solid services*, remove 
 from the representation of their University, that man 
 who has acted well, who has done honour to the as- 
 sembly in which he sits, and to the place which he 
 repsesents, in order to bring in another gentleman, 
 of whom little is known, of whom you know nothing, 
 and of whom you seem to care nothing about, further 
 than that he is a Secretary. 
 
 Consider then these three periods alluded to, and 
 see if the result of every one of them should not warn 
 you against following the proposed measure, and put 
 you on your guard against the certain danger and 
 disgrace that must attend its adoption. You were 
 deceived in. the opinion you formed of the character 
 of the man you addressed in 1782; you desired him 
 to support a Free Constitution — you found that he 
 sold it; you conceived that he was virtuous — you 
 found him to be vicious and corrupt. You were de- 
 ceived in your opinion of the man whom in 98 you 
 condemned unheard; you imagined he would betray 
 his country ; you found he stood up for her freedom 
 at the hazard of his life. You were deceived in that 
 man who voted against his country in 1800 ; you ex- 
 pected fidelity ; you found treachery. Having been 
 so often deceived already, can you for a moment, he- 
 sitate in your choice, and deceive yourselves on the 
 character, conduct, or principles of that man who has 
 not deceived you; or has experience lost all her weight 
 and thrown away upon you her salutary influence, 
 and her wholesome lessons, teaching you to distrust 
 the man who has been faithful, and to place your con- 
 fidence in the man of promises ? 
 
 Gentlemen, you have heard what injury was in past 
 
19 
 
 times done to your University, by the busy spirit of 
 a meddling electioneering Provost. Pranceriana re- 
 cords the vain attempts to correct and restrain this 
 hereditary disease: Mr. Hutchinson had been a 
 practising barrister, a trading debater, and a canvas- 
 ing political Provost : to these accomplishments he 
 added the science of duelling — but these qualities 
 were poor compared to those of Doctor Elrington ; 
 doubtless he made war upon individuals; he might, 
 perchance, have shot Mr. Doyle or Mr. Tisdall, but 
 he honoured the dead, and did not level his weapons 
 against Mr. Locke; he did not attack such sacred 
 characters, or strike at the root of liberality, virtue, 
 or spirit ; he was not the patron of narrow princi- 
 ples, or exclusive regulations ; his object was not to 
 suppress freedom of thought, and put down all spirit 
 of independence in the University over which he pre- 
 sided ; Mr. Hutchinson was not a bigot. There was 
 one act of his that might be drawn into a precedent, 
 and therefore I mention it: — a Mr. Kelher was can- 
 didate for a native's place — his narrow circumstances, 
 his morals, his diligence, and his deserts were admit- 
 ted ; the Senior Fellows considered him entitled to 
 the pension, but he was set aside by the arbitrary in- 
 terposition of the Provosts's negative — Mr. Kelher 
 had refused to vote for the Provost's son. 
 
 You best can tell whether there is any danger, that 
 on the approaching election, if any scholar should 
 vote against the Provost's candidate, he will be likely 
 to feel the effects of a resentful temper, and become 
 the honest victim of a rancorous disposition. It is, 
 however, to be hoped, that principle and spirit will 
 
20 
 
 bear up against the lowerings of an arbitrary mind : 
 for in such a cause they will be sure to triumph. But 
 in order to remove all such apprehension, and to shew 
 you how little is to be feared from a character so 
 prone to tergiversation ; a character that has already 
 changed, that is now changing, and may change once 
 more, I furnish you with the following trait3, from 
 whence it will clearly appear, that by opposing the 
 principles of the Provost at present, you are proba- 
 bly Supporting what may be his principles hereafter. 
 
 I therefore present you with a more modern pic- 
 ture, and having submitted to your view two charac- 
 ters so accomplished in such dishonest arts, I offer a 
 third, to rival the two preceding. A man, not re- 
 markable for great acquirements, fordepth of thought, 
 brilliancy of talent, strength of intellect, or any en- 
 lightened views of education, or of policy, declares 
 himself Anti-Catholic, writes a pamphlet on the sub- 
 ject of tithes, is noticed by the Castle, then patroniz- 
 ed, and is finally created Provost. Sappose him a 
 man of sense, here he shoukl have stopped — here 
 should have been his journey's end, for here was 
 "his but — the very sea*- mark of his utmost sail." 
 Yet thrs adventuring character, having beeome Pro- 
 vost, meddles, quarrels akers and intrigues. He 
 cashiers Mr. Locke ;* destroys your school of ora- 
 tory ; attempts to close your library ; undermines 
 Mr Plunket ; sets up Mr. Croker, and developes his 
 character — illiberal, intemperate and arbitrary. 
 
 No doubt, he says that he does not canvass for 
 Mr. Croker ; but will he say, Ite never wrote on Mr. 
 Choker's behalf, or in Mr. Crohn's favour ? He 
 
21 
 
 says, no doubt that a Provost should stand neuter; 
 I wish it were so. He says he has not acted. I ask, 
 is not his son a Fellow, and has he never spoken, 
 consulted, suggested, and advised with that son, 
 on the present canvass ? He may apologise with 
 some piece of sophistry, and forge a plausible ex- 
 ense, but he cannot deny, that a man who suffers a 
 measure to be undertaken for him, is in a moral 
 point of view, as much implicated as the ostensible 
 actor. The representative of his own University 
 will tell him the legal adage, qui facit per alium 
 Jhcit per se" Such, I am sure you must know, to 
 be the case, and such, Gentlemen, every impartial 
 person conceives it to be ; and in proof thereof, I ap- 
 peal to any man, whether it be a usual or a decorous 
 proceeding, that the name of the Provost should ap- 
 pear placed at the head oj the list of either candidate, 
 computed, counted, and cast up as a steady and cer- 
 tain vote Propriety should, in this instance, 
 
 have restrained his busy anxiety, or, at least, if he 
 was determined to give more than a casting voice, 
 and to depart from the impartial character of return- 
 ing officer, he should not have permitted his name to 
 be handed about in the electioneering lists with all 
 the foreboding and terror of his vindictive authority. 
 I am averse to inculcate distrust,* and would ne- 
 ^er write or recommend factious sentiments, least of 
 ill, to the young men of any University. Consu- 
 lted authorities must exist in every society and in 
 jvery establishment; without them we are nothing; 
 vith them we act in concert — usefully, effectually— 
 
22 
 
 often nobly. But as there are limits that may he 
 transgressed on the one hand, so there are bounds 
 that must be upheld on the other. Obedience and 
 confidence are reciprocal terms ; what opinion then 
 can you entertain of that individual, who, in a man- 
 ner most injurious to the peace of the University, 
 and in violation of the pure and upright principles 
 that should form their education and actuate their 
 conduct, transgresses these bounds, and appears, if 
 not the open and ostensible actor, undoubtedly the 
 silent and secret partizan ; recognised so by all, and 
 scribbled down in the list a double-voiced as well as 
 a double-faced character. 
 
 This is his conduct at present. What was his 
 conduct formerly? When Junior Fellow, he was, 
 in the order of College duties, allotted to lecture 
 upon Locke on Government, one of his own pupi's 
 neglected to attend ; he applied to him — he desired 
 that he would attend his lectures ; he told him the 
 work was of essential moment — that there might 
 be at no distant period a revolution in this 
 Country and that locke upon Government 
 ought to be studied and might be necessary !! j 
 This person is now your Provost, and this person 
 has turned Locke out of your course !! — Proh Ju- 
 piter ! 
 
 1 ask you as men of sense, of feeling, and of hon- 
 our, what is your opinion of such conduct? I ask, 
 can you look up to such a man ? Can you trust such 
 a man ? Can you esteem such a man ? Nay, can 
 you even respect such a man ? He reproves his pu- 
 pil for neglecting to attend the lectures upon Lockej 
 
25 
 
 on Government ; — a work useful, (according to his 
 own words) for the purpose or in the time of Revo- 
 lution. He inflames, (when Junior Fellow) the mind 
 of his youthful pupil, instigating, when he should 
 restrain, and reproving, when he should be lenient: 
 become Provost, he abandons his former sentiments, 
 casts off his former doctrines, expels this very work 
 from College, and turns a rank apostate to his pro- 
 fessions and his principles. 
 
 Gentlemen, it is for you to appreciate such a man 
 as he deserves, and to pour upon him the full tide 
 of your honest indignation. I shall say no more! 
 I spare him in my clemency ; the victim is led to the 
 proper altar ; let him be immolated to your resent- 
 ment ; my vengeance has greater bounds than his 
 apostacy. 
 
 You have heard how he acted when Junior Fel- 
 low — you know how he acts as Provost — another 
 trait will complete the charactor. It happened, 
 that about the period of those ever to be lamented 
 disturbances, that prostrated this unfortunate coun- 
 try, blasted her fair fame, and destroyed all her 
 achievements, that a certain English Nobleman, 
 *## * »# a came over to this country with his regiment 
 (the story is extant, and the Provost can tell you 
 in what part of England or Wales you may find the 
 authority ;) it so happened, that this Noble Lord 
 visited your University; the present Provost was 
 the gentleman usher on the occasion, and showed 
 his Lordship the Lions of the place. They went 
 into the examination hall — and a Lion (it was true) 
 stood there*— one whose breast was as dauntless as his 
 
24- 
 
 honour was spotless, and whom neither the poison- 
 ous tongues nor the ominous threats of his deadly an- 
 tagonists could subdue or terrify ! — In the mind 
 of the Senior Fellow he was indeed a roaring lion, 
 and one that deserved not merely to be removed but 
 probably imaged; he pointed towards the mute 
 being, and said to the English Nobleman, "that is 
 Mr. Grattaris picture, and we only wait till his 
 name is erased Jrom the Privy Council to take him 
 down," — verso pollice — quemlibet occidunt. 
 
 I pray you Gentlemen, mark those words " we only 
 wait"—- (a toast is nothing without a sentiment) — 
 mark well those words, "we only wait" — and then 
 ask yourselves what you should think of that man 
 who could harbour such degrading servilitv, and 
 display such a time-serving spirit of detestable base- 
 ness ? How abandoned his mind and egregious his 
 folly, thus unguardedly to betray his prostitution to 
 a perfect stranger. Fully equal was this feeling of 
 regard for his character, and that of the University, 
 to the spirit that dictated the expulsion of Locke, 
 the suppression of the Society, the closing the Library, 
 the undermining Mr. Plunket, and perching upon 
 Mr. Croker. 
 
 Against such a man put yourself on your guard; 
 he is your Provost, and you must obey him, but obey 
 him only through the laws ,- — do not listen to his in- 
 structions, do not trust him as a friend— yod can 
 never admire, esteem, or respect him. Think on 
 theblack passages of his life ;— Junior Fellow, Senior 
 Fellow, and Provost — in the first a * # * * *, in 
 the second a slave, and in the third a tyrant. Do 
 
25 
 
 not become his instruments and indulge his desperate 
 propensities, by returning to parliament hisjavourite 
 Court candidate, and thus give him a chance of ad- 
 ding the desired insignia to all his former qualities, 
 under the decorous mask of a mitre — no— he is suffi- 
 ciently elevated to stand the object of all that is hate- 
 ful and contemptible. His gown may cover him ; it 
 cannot disguise him. # Let then the poison of his 
 principles stagnate in the gloomy walls, whose colour 
 and quality are kindred to his nature, and if you can- 
 not protect your youth, save, at least, the Reverend 
 Bench from contamination.* Consult your own ho- 
 nor, consult your dignity ; defend the character of 
 your University, redeem your own, and reject the 
 Provost's principles and his candidate. 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 To the Fellows and Scholars of Trinity College, 
 I have already stated why in my opinion j'ou should 
 adhere to your present representative and steadily re- 
 sist his removal — the reasons that prompt to this arise 
 not merely from a regard to your own character and 
 to that of your University, but from a disregard that 
 is due to the mode of proceeding already mentioned, 
 which is unprecedented, ungenerous and unbecoming 
 — Without a shadow of pretence you have secretly 
 undermined Mr. Plunket, you have sent to another 
 country for a new .Representative, who now disclaims 
 having made any advances to you — who turns out to 
 be a Secretary, who is a Government voter, and 
 
 • It has been thought advisable to omit the passage in the original 
 that is filled up here by asterisks. 
 C 
 
26 
 
 ■whose mission therefore, we are at liberty to believe 
 has been sanctioned by the Minister or the Duke or 
 Cumberland, The cunning temper that has marked 
 this secret, but hasty proceeding, has led you into 
 the most imprudent courses, and has urged you to 
 persevere most indecorously in a measure at once 
 disreputable and injurious. One object appears to 
 be not only to put down all public principle, but 
 every sense of private honour, and gentleman-like ' 
 feeling, and to introduce into the University degrad- 
 ing and novel speculations. There are some para- 
 mount reasons why you should adhere to your pre- 
 sent representative, and these arise from circum- 
 stances of a peculiar nature. 
 
 Mr. Plunket's abilities, like his services, are of no 
 ordinary quality : — a powerful understanding, — a 
 deep reflecting mind,— prudent foresight, and a 
 shrewd intelligence; — his arguments are condensed 
 reason, and his ideas, like rock water, flow clear and 
 strong, eloquent, impressive, and convincing: — In 
 council he would be sage — in action decisive, and ne- 
 ver imprudent, except in a case of despair, where 
 imprudence might be safety ; — he is more than a 
 'politician, he is a statesman, fitted to be the leader of 
 a party ; he would never bring them into danger, or 
 hazard their character by quarrelsome questions of 
 opposition ; — he learns quicker than any man, — the 
 range of his reading, like the expanse of his mind, is 
 varied and extended, he has studied the Constitution 
 of his country as well as her Laws, and is a friend to 
 Limited Monarchy upon principle ; he values it inas- 
 much as it seated the House of Hanover on the 
 
27 
 
 throne, ami confirmed the liberties of these Realms, 
 upholding the rights of the people, and the preroga- 
 tive of the crown. With respect to Ireland, he 
 knows the secret springs of her action, and under- 
 stands what ought to be the rule of her government ; 
 impressed with a due sense of the imprudence of the 
 people, and the errors of the various administrations, 
 he keeps aloof from both, and fixes the limits that 
 should be transgressed by neither ; a safe constitu- 
 tional character, and an Irishman not only by birth 
 but in feeling. 
 
 In England, he upheld his Irish name, — he did 
 more, — he added fresh lustre to the Irish character, — 
 not the factious speaker, or envenomed partizan, in 
 regimented hostility, but the dignified honest repre- 
 sentative from an injured country, impressed with a 
 deep sense of her wrongs, which he felt could be cor- 
 rected only by temperate management^ and should 
 never be hazarded by passion; — this calm debater, 
 this prudent orator, when he transplanted his native 
 genius, did not transfer his national attachment, but 
 carried into another country the brilliancy that 
 adorned the one, and the unshaken and tempered 
 fidelity that characterised the other. In Ireland his 
 exertions were worthy of the great cause in which 
 they were employed, he stood among her boldest, 
 and her firmest friends at the dying moments of her 
 independance; — he migjit have sold his country! — 
 he did not ! — he might have sold himself! — he did 
 not ! — he might have obtained title and preferment,he 
 did not! — he spurned all that was not virtue, and to the 
 last, remained incorruptible ! — Mr. Grattan, " sat by 
 c 2 
 
28 
 
 her cradle^ and followed her hearse ;" Mr. Plunket 
 performed the last sad honours to an expiring Com- 
 monwealth ! — 
 
 Fortunati ambo ! si quid mca carmina possunt 
 nulla dies unquam memori vos eximst cevo. 
 
 His Speech in 1807, on the dismissal of the Whig 
 administrationproduced such a sensation in theHouse 
 of Commons, as to draw from Mr. Whitbread, the 
 most convincing proof of its excellence; turning to 
 Lord Henry Petty,when Mr.Plunket had concluded, 
 he exclaimed "let us divide now" On a subsequent oc- 
 casion,when Mr. Plunket had ceased to be a Member 
 of the House, Mr. Whitbread alluding to that speech 
 said, that he considered Mr. Plunket's absence from 
 Parliament a great national loss. His speech on Mr. 
 Grattan's motion on the Roman Catholic petition, in 
 1813, still lives in the recollection of the people of 
 England, though it may have tscaped the approba- 
 tion of the Dublin University; the praise bestowed 
 on that occasion, by Mr. Whitbread, was no incon- 
 siderable recommendation, — "it reminds us of the 
 " best times, when Fox and Burke, Windham and 
 " Sheridan adorned and delighted this House;*' " his 
 " eloquence" said Mr. Wilberforce, " recalls to the 
 i( recollection of the older members of this house, the 
 si brighter period of its genius" Mis speech on the 
 22nd of April, 1814, on the conduct of the late 
 Speaker, at the close of ttlH session, was admired 
 as a just, a bold, and a constitutional reprimand. — 
 His speech on the 25th of May, 1815, on the subject 
 of the war with France, ought not to have been for- 
 gotten even by the members of the Dublin Univer- 
 sity ; on that subject, it is probable, their sentiments 
 
29 
 
 were not uncongenial. The support he gave to Sir 
 John Newport, on his motion, for an enquiry into the 
 fees of Courts of Justice deserves, at least, the appro- 
 bation of the Provost and Fellows, as from the case of 
 Mr. Flood's will, they possibly have learnt how 
 necessary it is to modify the exorbitant fees of our 
 Courts of Justice. Can they have forgotten Mr. 
 Plunket's exertions on their behalf? Has Dr. Elring- 
 ton sat to no purpose with eager eye and attentive 
 ear, listening with laudable cupidity to Mr. Plunket's 
 arguments in support of a will that left the College 
 near 4000/. per annum ? — Have they not heard of 
 rhe celebrated case of the King v. O'Grady, in which 
 Mr. Plunket delivered that admirable speech, so 
 replete with legal ingenuity, deep research, and con- 
 stitutional argument, — a speech so much admired by 
 Sir Arthur Piggot, and Sir Samuel Romilly, those 
 great legal luminaries, and declared by some of the 
 ablest members of the English Bar, to have been a 
 display of knowledge, and ability, superior to what 
 any lawyer in England was capable of making. 
 
 Mr. Plunket nas done what most men are not 
 generally in the habit of doing ; he sacrificed his 
 place to his principles; he was Attorney General in 
 1807, he thought the government were in the wrong; 
 he spoke against them, and voted against them ; he 
 surrendered his office, but he preserved his princi- 
 ples; he defended the conduct of the University,, 
 and gave to its Royal Chancellor, in his own presence^ 
 a just and spirited reprimand for his attempts to 
 influence and prejudice the corporation over which 
 
 he presided. 
 
 c S 
 
SO 
 
 Gentlemen, the tongue of an admirer speaks too 
 frequently the language of flattery; he honies his 
 words that he may conceal some design, ©r carry 
 some object, but in the cause of a man, who has 
 shone conspicuous in the service of his country, our 
 hearts should beat high with gratitude, and cur 
 voice should resound with praise; at those eventful 
 periods of a nation's history, when she comes into 
 life or declines from freedom — at the moment of her 
 rise or her fall — of her glory or her disgrace — when 
 the noble efforts of eloquent independence, or 
 the bold struggles of resisting virtue, render them- 
 selves so preeminently apparent, we should but ill 
 discharge our duty if we did not pay them that 
 tribute of honourable applause, which they have so 
 deservedly earned. The cold requital of public servi- 
 ces is a mistaken policy; it never has and never will 
 form public characters: if we abandon public honesty 
 we offer a premium to public vice, and hang out a 
 trading flag to every political adventurer. It is not 
 the characteristic of a great nation ! It is not the 
 characteristic of a generous people ! It is rather a 
 fatal symptom of national decay, and a sure prog- 
 nostic of a decline from virtue. 
 
 Mr.Plunket's exertions in England you have seen, 
 I shall remind you of those in Ireland ; — in 1 798, 
 he signed the resolutions to hold a meeting of the 
 Irish Bar, in order to oppose the Union ; he spoke 
 strongly, spiritedly, and decidedly at that meeting, 
 against the measure that visited this country with 
 political extinction, that generous reward of Irkh 
 spirit and Irish valour ! that grateful return to a 
 
SI 
 
 loyal people for a preserved connexion ) On the 22(1 
 of January, 1799, he opposed the measure on the 
 motion for an address; on the 2Sth he again opposed 
 it; on the 25th of May, he spoke against it on the 
 question regarding the refusal of the Escheatorship 
 of Munster to colonel Cole ; on the 25th he sgain 
 opposed it on a motion of adjournment ; on the ISth 
 of January, 1800, he once more opposed it on the 
 address. Gentlemen, read the speech of the 22nd 
 of January 99, you will find there talents, boldness 
 and virtue pouring forth the noble effusions of a (ree 
 mind, in defending the last struggles of an expiring 
 constitution ; read the speech of the 18th of January 
 1800; you will behold honest principle, national 
 feeling, constitutional spirit, and a nerve anil talent 
 that were worthy of the cause ; read those two 
 speeches again and again, teach them to your child- 
 ren, and preserve their recollection to the latest pos- 
 terity, they are worth all Dr. Elrington's Euclid; their 
 principles are sound, constitutional and national, 
 they would have raised your country, they would 
 have raised you ; they would have raised yourUniver- 
 sity, and you might then, without regret, have turned 
 from the closed doors of your historical society, to 
 learn in another quarter lessons of Eloquence, and 
 rules of Civil Government from that assembly, to 
 which, one day perhaps, you might have been an 
 ornament, and from whence you might have direct- 
 ed the affairs of the nation. 
 
 Need I recall to mind the glowing language in 
 which he protested against that measure. *« This 
 atrocious conspiracy against the liberties of Ireland, 
 
32 
 
 tins ungenerous ! tin's odious measure ! For my part, 
 I shall bear in my heart the consciousness of having 
 done my duty, and in the hour of my death, I shall 
 not be haunted by the reflexion of having basely sold, 
 or meanly abandoned, the liberties of my native 
 land ! I will resist this measure to the last gasp of 
 my existence, and with the last drop of my blood; and 
 when I feel the hour of my dissolution approaching, 
 I will, like ti.-o father of Hannibal, take my children 
 to the altar and swear them to eternal hostility against 
 the invadersof their country's freedom." 
 
 Gentlemen, — These are words worthy to be kept 
 in remembrance, had all men felt like him, Ireland 
 would still be a nation ! ?iot a ban/erupt province de- 
 pending J or her existence upon the charity of Great 
 Britain ! Gentlemen, 1 ask you at what altar are you 
 sworn? is it at the altar of independence,^^/// y, anc? 
 virtue? is it not at an altar placed within the fane and 
 temple of the Court, within the alluring precincts, and 
 under the softening atmosphere of Royal Influence ; 
 behold the shrine at which you make this unworthy, 
 sacrifice ! it is adorned with gay hopes and tempting 
 offers, and all the fascinating patronage cf place, 
 office, and commission ; the feathered Mercury, with 
 his appropriate symbols, his purse, his twisted em- 
 blem of reward and punishment ; Ceres with her well 
 stored cornu copia, and Venus with her loosely- vested 
 damsels, ready for her young fellows, who burn with 
 March impatience to break the bonds of celibacy ! 
 such are the pillars that support the Admiralty, such 
 arethe laurels that adorn them! the destined rewards. 
 
33 
 
 for those who labour disinterestedly in the harvest 
 of laudable and virtuous ambition. 
 
 I have heard of ingratitude ; and College critics 
 have, in their private lectures, indulged in satires 
 against the catholicsand their conduct to Mr. Grattan; 
 the catholics have not been done justice to, had they 
 acted in the manner described, they would now stand 
 acquited, and acquitted by those who are not the least 
 ready to condemn. The catholics proceeded openly; 
 they met, resolved, and addressed most undisguisedly; 
 some of them differed in opinion from Mr. Grattan, 
 and transferred their petition from their old friend to 
 a new advocate, but they did not act as you have 
 done, they did not plot, they did not undermine, 
 they did not betray ; ill treated and long deceived 
 by many parties, their wearied minds scarce knew 
 upon what shore to cast either the anchor of confi- 
 dence or of hope ; hut you — you befriended, honored, 
 raised and flattered, by the strenuous and virtuous 
 exertions of your chosen representative, turn against 
 him without a cause, and basely cast him off at th^ 
 very moment of his highest integrity and estimation. 
 The catholics may have been more than imprudent, — 
 you have been less than honest, for you have smiled 
 in the face of that man whom you intended to wound 
 to the heart ; let it not then be said, that the 
 catholics have acted as basely as you have done, for 
 they have been only ungrateful, while you have been 
 treacherous, or rather say, that there is no body of 
 men in Ireland, so ungenerous, so ungrateful, and 
 so treacherous as yourselves. 
 
 It is not, however, too late to redeem your charac- 
 
S4 
 
 ier; you have still time to correct the evil, and In 
 some degree to efface the shame of your present con- 
 duct, and if possible, relieve yourselves from that 
 opprobrium with which you are loaded by every 
 honourable man in the community. Do not turn 
 aside from those public memento's that have been held 
 up to your view ; though they cannot excite a feeling 
 of gratitude, they may, perhaps, kindle the blush of 
 shame, and extort from your repentance the rewird 
 that is due to virtue. 
 
 You have sacrificed the noblest feelings of the 
 human heart; do not complete your disgrace, by 
 casting into the loaded balance the corrupted re- 
 mains of a treacherous understanding; you have lost 
 all character for honor, preserve at least some sense of 
 feeling, and though your are deaf to the voice of gra- 
 titude, be not insensible to the claims of talent. 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 To the Gentlemen of Trinity College, 
 
 
 Mutate nomine de te fabula narratur ■ 
 
 Gentlemen, 
 
 The subjoined came to me list night marked 
 " Sailor's Letter" I understand it has been favour- 
 ably received by the Board of Admiralty. 
 
 Yours, &c. 
 Amicus. 
 
Sir, 
 
 I recommend to you a young man of letters; 
 he has studied the Adventurer, the Rambler, ami the 
 Paysan Parvenu, he is well meaning and good na- 
 tured in disposition, unassuming in manner — classi- 
 cal in mind, and upright in principle— he is a candi- 
 date for honest fame, and wishes ill to no man— he 
 was of old an admirer and friend of a very industri- 
 ous harmless set of Ladies and Gentlemen, who 
 procured an honourable livelihood by acting at 
 Crow-Street Theatre — he never intended them any 
 harm, for his object was not to undermine them, but 
 to get on the boards, if not at Crow-Street, perhaps 
 at St. Stephens ! — the Admiralty— C # *lt*n H*u*e ! 
 — Downpatrick — Athlone — Dublin University, or 
 elsewhere, so that he never w r as their competitor — 
 and though once considered as such, he bears them 
 no spleen, and is now (as then) quite devoid of ill- 
 natured wit — pert dull humour, and " uncommon 
 impudence" — he does not wish to pass fur what he is 
 not and could never be taken for — and as he is de- 
 sirous that the public should judge whether he de- 
 serves encouragement, he submits to their consider- 
 ation certain extracts from an obsolete work of his 
 which he proposes to republish, under the title of 
 Annus ftJirabilis ; or Hibernia Rediviva ; it was the 
 best natured of his productions, and affords a fair 
 specimen of his talents; — though humble, he is not 
 z poor unbe friended author; there are many honest 
 and good fellows fully sensible that-he merits en- 
 couragement,— and though " he cannot command 
 success, he will endeavour to deserve it." 
 
36 
 
 The prospectus is this — Six Familiar Epistles in 
 110 small octavo pages, with lines to hang Notes 
 upon — appropriate motto's — extracts from Greek 
 and Latin school books that are not forgotten, (tho* 
 the quoter has just re-entered College) — apt quota- 
 tions from Italian authors that were studied during 
 Travels on the Continent after Circuit ; — they 
 have been carefully and literally read through, un- 
 derstood perfectly, and could be translated with ease; 
 ■ — the frontispiece does not contain his picture, but 
 the following line affords a striking likeness : — " Ve~ 
 rercr ne immodicam hanc epistolam putares" — the Fi- 
 nale will be equally modest and more characteristic — 
 it will apologize for " six heavy stages" thanks for 
 patience in bearing my " roughness, my mistakes and 
 my wanderings" for " Beggar that I am, I poor e- 
 ven in thanks,'' " I have no reward to offer (or to 
 take) if I can avoid it ;" the concluding word will 
 be modest and classical " Plaudjte." * 
 
 Such, Gentlemen, is the precious volume on which 
 the author builds his hope of rising to eminence, 
 perhaps to office — and whether in his profession or , 
 out of it, it matters little; as his object is tojaire la 
 chose; rem ! quocunque modo Rem ! — may I entreat 
 of you to use your good offices in his behalf with the 
 Members of the Dublin University — Provost, Fel- 
 lows, and Scholars. I request, in this instance,. their 
 support. As literary characters, and patrons of men 
 of letters, they rank high ; and they would not be 
 so illiberal as to reject the author on account of the 
 patrons he looks up to, and the examples he follows, 
 
 * See the Familiar Epistles, 
 
37 
 
 i**g, Mr. V*n**tt* # t, Mr. H*sk*ss*n, 
 these gentlemen arc all patrons ot paper currency 
 they have spoken and written on the subject — some 
 in the Antijacohin, others in Reviews, the Courier, 
 and various daily papers, so it cannot surprise any 
 man that he should be fond of fools cap and the 
 muses — he always hated Cobbctt and his "Paper 
 against Gold" — and can justly exclaim, 
 Blest paper credit ! last and blest supply, 
 
 That lends lighter wings feo fly. 
 
 he seeks to rise by honest fame, 
 
 for like Brutus, he may say, 
 
 I can raise no money by vile means. 
 
 By Heaven ! I had rather coin my heart, 
 And drop my blood for Drachmas than to wring 
 From the hard hands of peasants * their vile trash 
 By any indirection. — 
 
 When Nich. V*n*s*tt*rt grows so covetous 
 To lock such rascal counters from his friends, 
 Be ready, Gods ! with all your thunderbolts, 
 
 Dash him to pieces. 
 
 In short, Gentlemen, in page 58 of his Familiar 
 Epistles you will find these words with few altera- 
 tions. Your humble Servt. 
 
 J. w. c. 
 
 But who is this all cap and gown? 
 G. P. R. coat from London town, 
 Grin and grimace, and shrugs and capers, 
 And affectation, spleen, and vapours. 
 
 *" The Dey of Algiers does not answer this description. 
 D 
 
33 
 
 Oh ! Mr. W*l**n Cr*k*e, (1) your humble, 
 
 Prithee give o'er to mouth and mumble ; 
 
 Stand straight^ (2) speak plain, (3) and let us hear 
 
 What was intended for the ear; (4-) 
 
 For faith, without the timely aid 
 
 Of Bills, (.5) no parts you've ever played, 
 
 (1) Mr. \V*l**n C**k*r has a kind of merit which, perhaps, he 
 overrates, but which a little study (as he has just re-entered College) 
 may improve to more than respectability; he is lively, often amusing, 
 sometimes intelligible, seldom rational, on a stage nearly barren of 
 merit, it is natural he should he fete, — unoculus inter catcos is a very 
 considerable person. He is almost the " actetir gate" that Gil Bias 
 describes, " d qui le parterre pardonne tout, on lui marquoit trop lc 
 plaisix que Ton prenoit a le voir, aussi en abusoit il, ti f on eut siffie: 
 au lieu de crier miracle, on lui auroit, rendu justice" Let me, how- 
 ever, do justice to his Diddler; the character is luckily as extrava- 
 gant as the actor, and both are wonderfully outres and entertaining. — 
 
 See Familiar Epistles. 
 
 (2) This is clearly a mistake, Mr. C**k*r holds his head as high 
 as any S***r*t**y can or ought; it was a mischievous libel on his 
 person to say that he introduced the fashionable Dandy Sloop, — it is 
 well known that the S**r*t**y is as upright in body as in mind. 
 
 (:5) It is not true that Mr, C**k*r speaks with an Irish apish 
 brogue. 
 
 (4) It is not true that Mr. C**k*'r docs not convey his meaning in 
 clear, intelligible, and easy language, or that Mrs Mary Ann Clarke, 
 in 1809, understood him to mean Parson for person, or conceived he 
 intended to examine her about a Clergyman, instead of a noun sub- 
 stantive — neither did the Honourable House of Commons join in 
 the laugh at Mrs. Clarke's misconception, nor did the S**'r*'t*'*y lose 
 his temper on the occasion,— or did he (to Mr. \Vh*tb**d's great 
 amusement) insist on the correctness of the pronunciation — he makes 
 it a rule never to persevere in error , besides, Mrs. Mary Ann Clarke 
 was no judge of language, words were thrown away upon her, she is 
 a bad woman — See Sheridan's Dictionary for the wjrd. 
 
 (5) These Bills cannot be intended to mean Navy Bills or Bank 
 
39 
 
 (6) Ha?idt/ 9 Shufllcton or Rave r, 
 Sharper, Stroller, (7) Lounger, Lover, . 
 Could I, amidst your mad- cap pother •, 
 
 Ever distinguish ironi each other. 
 
 ♦ ###**# 
 
 What though with all the sprightly arts 
 
 Of Hair-brained (8) mirth you deck your parts ? 
 
 of England Bills, payable to tfr, Henry Hase, still less to bills for 
 a Secretary's salary or establishment , or tax bills for the hurry, flurry, 
 labour and bustle of the Secretary pending the Algier expedition. — 
 See Lord Milton's speech and false calculations on this subject, 1816. 
 (C) It is not true that a window is still shown as a curiosity oppo- 
 site Mrs. Mary Ann Clark's house, on the King's Road near Cado- 
 gan Place, which occasioned the S**r*t**y of the Admiralty to be 
 called Peeping IV ill of Osna burgh. Peeping Tom of Coventry 
 would even-have been better, and at least as becoming. 
 
 (7) The Parson here alluded to strolled towards Downpatrick at 
 the period of an Election, and was shuffled into the Representation. 
 From Counsel he became Candidate by means of the Returning Offi- 
 cer — an honest man by trade, and a bricklayer by profession. On 
 the trial of the Petition in the Committee of the House of Com- 
 mons, he did not succeed so much by the assistance of the then 
 Speaker, (now Lord Colchester) as by the clear undoubted merits of 
 ilie case, and by the Member's peculiar qualifications, as the Brick- 
 layer had instructed him in the plastic arts of the trade. — "What may 
 not a Returning Officer do ? What may not a Speaker do ? What 
 may not a Provost do ? 
 
 (8) " Alas poor Spedding I your hour is come — you have cheated 
 " the Duke and his Mistress — his Royal Highness had reckoned on 
 " your money to enable him to support his establishment — you have 
 " deceived him ; the all-powerjul Mrs. Clarke vows vengeance against 
 " you; you are undone/ Alas poor Spedding.'' — See Mr. C**k*r's 
 speech on the Charges against the Duke of York. This is an instance 
 of the jocose rarely to be met with ! There is something that ap- 
 proaches to this found in the Sublime and Beautiful. 
 
 D S 
 
40 
 
 What though, wherever you appear, 
 
 Laughter (9) with ready voice is near; 
 
 And that your happy nonsense (10) draws 
 
 The doubtful meed of blind applause ? 
 
 The judging Jew, whose critic praise, 
 
 Is worth whole galleries loud huzzas, 
 
 Lament to see your meteor fire 
 
 Of talents, kindle and expire; 
 
 No steady ray of 1 light it gives, 
 
 But lives and dies, and dies and lives, 
 
 As chance directs, or wrong or right, 
 
 The Ignis Jatuus of the night. 
 
 The vivid spark that Heaven bestows 
 
 On Genius, not untended glows ; 
 
 The breath of Treasury acclaim. 
 
 Kindles and upholds the infant flame, 
 
 (9) Mr. Croaker, Member for Downpalrick, made a long and a- 
 •musing speech, which kept the House in repented roars of laughter at 
 the numerous Ilibernichms which characterised his oration, — British 
 Press, June 27, 1307. 
 
 It was said, that on this celebrated occasion, the (not then) 
 £**r*t**y wrote over to his Irish friends an account of his speech/ 
 attacking the Out and defending the In administration. The follow- 
 ing passage is strikingly beautiful, chiefly on account of the allitera- 
 tion ; after stating his complete success, it added, " in short, I dan* 
 died Grattan in one hand, and Grey in the other." 
 
 (10) " The Honourable Member had given to his proposition the 
 name of Address, and its nature was address, but he hoped the House 
 would not vote in the dark (£as Lights were not then known), and 
 that this Tour d'Addresse would meet the deserved success ,• for his 
 
 part, he would say like AjaxJ ."' See Mr. C**kVs speech on the 
 
 Charges against the Duke of York* 
 
 Again, " I advocate, not to be advocated by the Noble Lord." — 
 This was Howick whom he had dandled the Session preceding ! Un- 
 generous bantling ! Unkind advocate ! 
 
41 s 
 
 But unless sense her screen supplies, 
 It trembles, (11) quivers, starts, and dies 
 But fenced by judgment's golden bound, 
 Pure and serene it beams around, 
 Diffusing through the mental shade, 
 Its steady brilliancy and aid. 
 C#k*r ! to your ear my cautious lays 
 May seem too niggard of their praise — 
 Perhaps 'tis true — and shall I own 
 They seem not so to you alone. 
 But as I fear, to turn a brain 
 Already volatile and rain. 
 As I am anxious to repress 
 Youthful ambitions, wild excess, 
 I'll say — from such a washy junket, 
 Cr # k*r ! you ne'er will make a Pl**k*t ! 
 
 (11) This clearly applies to the S**r*t**y, as every Membtr of 
 the House knows how diffident Mr. C**k*r is; his fault is bashful- 
 nets — ingenuus vultus, ingenui que pudoris. 
 
 (12) " Should they (the House) find his Royal Highness inno- 
 cent, they might stiil present an Address (should that be thought ne-»* 
 cessary) of congratulations and condolence! ! fa laugh J."— -See 
 Report of Mr. C**k*r's (corrected J Speech on the Charges against 
 the Duke of York. At Romae ruere in servitium Consules, Patre* 
 Eques, quanto quis inlustrior, tanto magis falsi. Tacitus, annals* 
 
 DS 
 
42 
 
 LETTER VI. 
 
 Gentlemen, 
 
 You deserve public thanks for the honour- 
 able invitation and the generous independent support 
 you have given the poor poet who recommended 
 himself to your favor. I apprehend, however, that 
 he must have had recourse to some other influence, 
 and tried some other charm than the doggrel rhymes 
 he gave you a specimen of. To do him justice, the 
 notes were not his own, though he has had the full 
 benefit of them — they were furnished by another 
 iiand, with a view to give you an insight into his 
 means, his conduct, and his character, and not to 
 suffer you to be deceived by his zvords or professions, 
 which, like those of all other poets in his situation, 
 generally abound with fiction. 
 
 He seems to have afforded much satisfaction. It 
 is said that you have admitted him a member of 
 your body; his name has been entered on the books ; 
 he has been allowed to dine at your table, and to 
 assume the dress of your society; — you may be con- 
 fident that he will return these civilities as soon as he 
 has the means to do so, and will invite you to a -place 
 — at his table — in his own house — and give you em- 
 ployment in that or some other way, whenever the 
 opportunity occurs. His foible is not " sua? parcus 
 publico? avarus," and rely on it you will be rewarded 
 as you deserve for the invidious and most ungrateful 
 task imposed upon you on his behalf. 
 
 The sentiments you breathe are well known to 
 
41) 
 
 the public — they import charity, and a charity never 
 misplaced — M Probitas laudetur ct alget," — this was 
 Irs case — you found the poet naked and at your gate 
 — you took him in and you clothed him, he was hun- 
 gry and you fcd him — he called upon you in his 
 trouble, and you propose to relieve him out of his 
 distress. For this you will deserve the thanks oi'the na- 
 tion ; and indeed, if we judge from reports, and news- 
 paper accounts, you have received them already, and 
 probably, should you be enabled to crown in the 
 manner you wish, the work you so honorably and in- 
 dependent ly have begun, you will doubtless obtain 
 what, in your opinion, is no inconsiderable honor 
 — the most flattering marks of Royal favor. And 
 should the individual you patronise obtain, through 
 your efforts, the place of Poet Laureat, and pro- 
 ceed to Ot*n H*u*e crowned with the emblems 
 of triumph, and become the herald of your praise, 
 vours will be the honor, and yours the reward; — 
 succeeding in the former, you will not be disappoint- 
 ed in the latter, for as gratitude is a virtue you have 
 never failed to exercise and recommend, you may 
 be certain your pupil will not forget the lesson you 
 have novo taught, but will recompense you in the 
 manner you deserve, and in the true spirit of Di- 
 vine precept and your own practice, evince towards 
 you that gratitude which you have shown to others. 
 
 The following lines are offered as a further speci- 
 men of the happy anticipation of the Crow Street 
 Bard. 
 
 The best portrait of Rembrantz was drawn by 
 his own hand. 
 
44 
 
 And lo ! this Secret' ry, whose every feature 
 
 Foretells the talent of the creature, 
 
 Lively and vulgar, low and pert, 
 
 He plays, au vif y the courtier-flirt; 
 
 Or hits, without the least alloy, 
 
 From taste, — the saucy college-boy (1) 
 
 Oh ! could a little sense control 
 
 The flight of his timeserving soul — 
 
 Could he be satisfied with all 
 
 The glories of the Four Court Hall, (2) % 
 
 Nor e'er with daring steps presume 
 
 To figure in St Stephens room — 
 
 Could he but wisely be content 
 
 To play the pleader out of Parliament ; (3) 
 
 None would have guessed that he had e'er 
 
 Observed what taste or virtue were ; 
 
 Nor ever known a circle higher 
 
 Than that around the Grub street fire. 
 
 (1) It is truly ridiculous to s«e this gentleman, dressed like a young 
 Collegian, in a cap and gown, sauntering about the Courts, living, di- 
 ning, entertaining and drinking in chambers, as if he was in his Ju- 
 nior Freshman year, or as any idle frequenter of a tipsy college ta^ 
 vern. 
 
 (2) This gentleman commenced a career in the study of the law, 
 which being too tedious for an aspiring mind, he exchanged it, by 
 chance, at an election in the north for one better suited to an inde- 
 pendent mind, determined to raise himself without the aid of those 
 humble but useful assistants — Servility and cunning, — cum sint. 
 
 Quales ex humili magna ad fastidia rerum 
 Extollit, quoties voluit fortuna jocaru 
 
 (3) The grand and lofty stile of this Legal, Parlimentary Nau- 
 tical Character is finely exemplified on every great national question* 
 particularly on all Constitutional subjects, and those that regard the li- 
 berty of the Press } to the latter he has an involuntary, an official, and zxs 
 
45 
 
 Tis' shame to offer to the view, 
 
 This kind of Paysan Parvenu, 
 
 This Filch in Navy robes arrayed, 
 
 This Hack in Purliamen'try trade, 
 
 And yet ! not all the blame attaches 
 
 To him ! — he naturally snatches, 
 
 At tassel'd gowns, and caps of College 
 
 To serve his purpose (4) and their knowledge 
 
 But why this travestie permitted ! 
 
 Is it that we've no one better fitted ! 
 
 And thus in utter disregard 
 
 Of right and wrong; our name is marr'd, 
 
 A useful member is displaced (5) 
 
 ex necessitate attachment — for an instance of the sublime and Beau- 
 tiful, see in note. " I advocate not to be advocated" 
 
 (1) This gentleman is representative for the Borough of Athlone, 
 and it is said, that as LordC-s-tl-m-e's UnionContract has expired, the 
 seat reverts to its patriotic possessor so that Mr C-k-r's employers will 
 be put to the expense of 5000 pounds, unless they mean to deprive 
 Parliament and the Empire of the oratorical, the splendid, and the 
 statesman- like abilities of this experienced Senator, which every indivi- 
 dual of the united kingdom would regret most exceedingly, with the 
 exception of the Member in question, for he confessedly is not ait 
 egotist. 
 
 (5) These lines are peculiarly happy ! who would have thought that 
 twelve years ago he would have written what is now so strictly applica- 
 ble to his own case ! shade of the injured Williams, thou art avenged ! 
 spirit of insulted Crow-street, rest in peace ! the engine recoils ; and 
 u the present state of the Irish Stage," is worse than the first; who on 
 reading the above lines will not say to alma mater. 
 
 Could you on this fair mountain leave to feed 
 And batten on this Moor? Ha! have you eyes! 
 
 You cannot call it love I 
 
 Yet several of the Fellows (certain of the repeal of the statute of 
 celibacy) will exclaim, otiinia vincit amor ct nos cedamus amori //— 
 " all's well now, sweeting, come away to bed." 
 
46 
 
 And insult braves the public taste. 
 
 Let him not vainly hope to ride 
 
 In safety o'er the public tide, 
 
 To buffet every gale that blows, (6) 
 
 And sweep the sea of all his foes ; 
 
 While in the trimming (7) Fleet are reckoned 
 
 First rates, none, but one o' the second. 
 
 And all the rest — his bold defenders, 
 
 Are cutters, luggers, hulks and tenders, 
 
 (6) The early taste this person displayed for marine poetry, and a 
 place at the Admiralty are very remarkable, and are here whimsically 
 exemplified ! 
 
 (7) The following specimen of a University, Loyd's list will give a 
 tolerable recapitulation of my opinions of tlie Santa Trinidada Com- 
 pany. 
 
 Junk 4th, 1818. 
 Admiral Cunningham, W. P. in spite of very bad weather, still con- 
 tinuesto keep his station off the Bagnio Slip. If the Young Husband 
 squadron should attempt to put to sea, we are confident the learned 
 Admiral will give a good account of them. — The respective forces are 
 as follow : 
 
 Ships. 
 
 Guns. 
 
 Comma nders. 
 
 Centurion, 
 
 74 
 
 P-ip-s, 
 
 Doubtless, 
 
 74 
 
 P-i-r, 
 
 Lion, 
 
 74 
 
 D-p-t, 
 
 Dreadnought, 
 
 74 
 
 W-l-n, 
 
 Nautilus 
 
 71 
 
 W-a-ll, 
 
 Espoir, 
 
 74 
 
 S-dl-r, 
 
 Diamond, 
 
 74 
 
 W-a-b, 
 
 Illustrious, 
 
 74 
 
 S-d-s, 
 
 Brilliant, 
 
 74 
 
 H-a-e. 
 
 Laurell, 
 
 74 
 
 P-d-n, 
 
 Intrepid, 
 
 74 
 
 P-l-n 
 
 Remains in port the Mercury, G-fl-n, armed cnjluie. 
 Opposed to this superior and fully equipped armament, there is un- 
 
47 
 
 der the command of the Hoyul Rear Admiral, a comparatively small 
 force, but their guns are all double shotted, and like the Malay Pirates, 
 they are determined to fight to the last extremity sink or swim ; their 
 Commodores are mostly experienced countarband traders. 
 
 Ships. 
 
 Guys. 
 
 Commanders, 
 
 The Cumberland 
 
 74 
 
 P-v-t, 
 
 Cherub, late Opossum, 
 
 1 74 
 
 B-rr-t, 
 
 Surley 
 
 44 
 
 H-h-n, 
 
 Hyaena. 2 
 
 44 
 
 N-s-h, 
 
 Pandora, 3 
 
 44 
 
 L-y-d, 
 
 Experiment, 
 
 44 
 
 M'-D-n-ll, 
 
 Satellite, 4 
 
 38 
 
 E-r-g-n, 
 
 Landrail. 5 
 
 38 
 
 S-n-r, 
 
 Ganymede, 6 
 
 38 
 
 G-n-n,* 
 
 Investigator, 7 
 
 38 
 
 R-b-n, 
 
 Chamelion, 8 
 
 38 
 
 K-n-y, 
 
 * The Captain so marked wanted to bring a wife on board, this 
 was found to be contrary to the statutes, though not to the spirit of 
 the Admiralty regulations. It is thought that if the Captains had pe- 
 titioned agreeable to orders issued in 1807 from the Hear Admiral, 
 tl*y would have obtained this permission : it is however, certain, that 
 every exertion will now be made on their behalf at the Admiralty. 
 
 1 . The Qpposum is a genus of animal, having two canine teeth in each 
 jaw, an unequal number of cutting teeth, five toes on each foot and a 
 long tail; its size is that of a large cat, and its head that of a Fox, it has 
 prying eyes, it s legs are only four inches in length, its feet are like 
 hands, having five fingers, each furnished with long black crooked nails. 
 The great singularity in the history of this animal is, that it has a pouch 
 or bag situate under 'the belly, this is considered as a secondary womb; 
 this appendage is to contain food of all sort;, which it devours in great 
 quantities, and with uncommon voracity, being a carnivorous animal, 
 this bag is always kept well stored; on the ground it has a slow walk, 
 and can easily be overtaken. It will suspend itself by the tail from 
 the branches of a tree for hours together, with its head and eyes down- 
 ward and when any creature passes whose imbecility renders it a prey 
 the Opposum drops upon it and devours it : it is a stupid dull animal t 
 but can be domesticated ; its body possesses a strong disagreeable scent. 
 
 Dict. Nat. Hist. 
 
48 
 
 2. The Hycena is a fierce and untractable looking animal, it appears 
 always in anger, and ever growling : its voice is harsh and dismal, 
 except when it takes its food, then its eye glistens and its teeth appear 
 with a most horrid grin ; it is incapable of affection, Providence has 
 given it a solitary unsociable disposition. The ancients attributed 
 wonderful properties to this creature, it could change its sex as well as 
 colour, and charmed Shepherds to their destruction. It was said to 
 possess several other fallacious attributes. 
 
 Dict. Nat. Hist. 
 
 3. Fabulous History has represented thUffcatken to have been form- 
 ed of clay in the moment of Jupiter's resentment, endowed with various 
 qualities and loaded with gifts, said however, tube possessed of a box 
 in which were enclosed discord hatred, war. calumny, envy, deceit, 
 and the source oj all the evil and mischief with which society are afflicted. 
 
 Dict. Nat. Hist. 
 
 4. Keitt,Keith,and all astronomers agree thatijupiler has many satel- 
 lites of which this is the second of the name ; they always accompany 
 their primary planet in the circuit round the sun, preserving their pro- 
 per circulation round their own primaries. Like the Moon, they alter 
 their places according to the relative positions, whether in coujunction 
 or opposition, near the sun they appear bright and full, before conjunc- 
 tion they shew themselves in horned figures, but when they fall into the 
 shadow of Jupiter they become invisible. 
 
 5. The Captain of this vessel is not Paulus ^milius, though he is 
 descended from that old Roman family. 
 
 The Landrail is very common in England, it is a stinking dark 
 looking bird, and hmi about every where very quickly; it belongs to 
 that class that is most usually to be met with in the fields where it is 
 very fond of making a noise, and crakes incessantly : it deceives its 
 followers by the sound of its note appearing to l°ad them the right way, 
 while it artfully misleads them for its <non selfish purposes. Tbere are 
 some in Ireland to be found in large domains and around great estab- 
 lishments-, the bird is not so thriving as was supposed, some of them have 
 been caught lately and on being taken ftp and encaged turned out to be 
 worth nothing. Historians say, that St. Patrick banished them from 
 Ireland along with snakes and other reptiles. 
 
 Dict. Nat. Hist. 
 
 6. Gcnymede was esteemed the most beautiful of all boys. Jupiter 
 
49 
 
 Nor think, because the azure realm 
 Of which he holds the guiding helm (ff) 
 Bows at his feet, (9) obeys his nod, 
 And owns great Wilson (10) is a God, 
 
 grew so charmed with him that he caused him to be carried up to hea- 
 Ten where all the goddesses have fallen in love with him : some pretend 
 that he is changed into a constellation. 
 
 Dict. Pol. Lit. 
 
 (7) The Investigator, it is thought, had been sent on a voyage to the 
 North Pole, to ascertain that great n itural phenomenon, the breaking 
 up of the Ice Bergs. She has been employed on several important 
 services ; the Captain is a persevering character, and though he nearly 
 lost his life by a late experiment, is determined on a speculative voyage 
 intathe hitherto unexplored regions of the ^c/-t»-/-//, undeterred by the 
 fate of one Philosopher, who fell down the burning crater, or the other 
 who lost his sight by exploring the nature of a braseu bason ; it is cer- 
 tain that some employment will be found or created for him. 
 
 1 8) The Chameleon is an animal endowed with singular properties. 
 It is said to take the colour of whatever it is applied to, and erroneously 
 to live on air, as the Ad-m-l-y will, to its cost, shortly discover. 
 
 (ff) Barry, in his grand but whimsical paintings, has represented 
 Father Thames, reclining in soft luxuriance, and pouring the wealth 
 of the world into the bosom of fertile England , had he lived to the 
 time of Mr. C*k*r he could have represented him as a Marine Deity, 
 «r like Juno, described by Virgil, bribing JEolus to overwhelm JEnea, 
 and offering him a number of damsels. 
 
 Sunt mihi bis septem prcestanti corpore nymphce 
 Connubiojungam stahili, propriara que dicabo t- 
 
 (9) The S*e*t*a*y visited, not many years ago, a naval station ; the 
 honor of a salute of guns (whether voluntary or exacted) was paid to 
 him ; it was received with modest and becoming Dignity, not 
 however greater than was due, from such an exalted personage ; the 
 B*r*d if Ad*r*l*"y did nat, however, understand this proceeding, and 
 accordingly censured the officers for what they had done — it is believed 
 however, that the S*e*r*t*y paid the- expense of the gun-powder 
 that was expended on the occasion. . 
 
 ^LO) In the oiiginal it v&sFsapho, but I faverow changed it to 
 
 R 
 
50 
 
 That all mankind to think must cease, 
 
 Slaves to his pleasure and caprice; 
 
 Nor should he please to entertain 
 
 A score of dunces in his train, (11) 
 
 By every navy art to drown 
 
 The vice and wishes of the town, 
 
 That every pen to write must cease, 
 
 Save at his pleasure or raprice. 
 
 No ! No ! were every Journal bought, (12) 
 
 To hum, to sleep the public thought, 
 
 Some eye will wake to watch his course, 
 
 Some tongue which neither fraud nor force 
 
 Can lull, shall roll the College beat, 
 
 And thunder in his ears, " Defeat." (13) 
 
 Wilson, who as (Elian tells us, was an Hibernian, to .whom the inha- 
 bitants of Santa Trinidada paid divine honors, not because he was a 
 S*r*t*y but because he taught certain silly birds to sing * Wilson is 
 a God. 1 ' See note page 104 Familiar Epistles. 
 
 (1!) Claret and Champaign, &c. &c. were most properly sent 
 from Mess. B*d & Co. to Dr.Ll*y*d's apartments to cool the thirst 
 •f Les Celebatoire'sf 
 
 Fill every glass, for wine inspires and fires us, 
 
 With courage, love, and joy. 
 
 (12) The shameful part that the press has taken in this Election is 
 much to be lamented. By abandoning public characters it loses pub- 
 lic opinion, generally a slave either of the Castle or the mob, of the mad 
 Orangeman or the mad Catholic ; it has, on this occasion, shown a 
 
 •total disregard to every thing like rectitude ; and has run in with the 
 Court Candidate in the most unworthy manner, the Dublin Evening 
 Post especially. Mr. Harvey's paper, the Freeman s Journal, stands 
 a remarkable exception, and has upheld that spirit of integrity and 
 independence which alone can render it valuable, and which will en- 
 dear it to all lovers of liberty. 
 
 (13) I have abstained from giving the character of Mr. C**k*r, the 
 anecdotes I have furnished are sufficient — besides, he is my country- 
 man, and I am happy to see an Irishman in office, whether he belongs 
 to the Government party or to the opposition ; this country has so 
 
51 
 
 long been kept out of what she was fairly entitled to, that it afford* 
 some s. isfaction to behold her children rewarded now. — It would, how- 
 ever, be more grateful to honest feeling and pure principle if this Gen- 
 tlemen had risen to office and honour as fairly as the writer wishes. Mr. 
 C*k*r* is undoubtedly a man of parts and abilities, and it is therefore a 
 matter of regret that he has not always made that use of them, which they 
 had a right to expect from their possessor — had he raised himself by open 
 and honest competition, he would be more generally respected: and if be 
 had not suffered himself to be cajoled or entrapped into this invidious 
 contest with Mr. P**'l*t,f it would have greatly redounded to his credit. 
 The most unblushing effrontery could scarce imagine that Mr. P**l*t 
 and Mr. C**k*r could ever come in competition ; — Mr C**k*r 
 shorld avoid the errors of his day — the race of young political 
 aspirants, never in the memory of British politicks have distin- 
 guished themseles by such unworthy acts, nor so completely disgraced 
 themselves as since the year 1807 most of them have failed, few of 
 them have -been distinguished, and none af them are respected : even 
 Mr. P*l*e is a bad model. 
 
 " Ireland past and present" " Talavera," and the "Familiar Epistles" 
 would have been a better foundation for fame, and certainly for 
 character than the sad, and much to be regretted effusions on Mrs. 
 Mary Ann Clarke, which, with the short and decies repetita scraps of 
 conversations on admiralty dttails, biscuit, grog, and sailor's wives- 
 constitute nearly the whole of Mr. C**k*r's parliamentary displays 
 since that memorable period of his elevation. 
 
 Mr. Croker possesses some good qualities ; he does not forget either 
 his country or his friends ; he is a man of business, diligent, attentive 
 and intelligent : he wants, however, a manliness of character and an 
 open dealing, that are generally the qualities of his countrymen : 
 in his speaking, there is often an affectation of singularity, much 
 weakness, and sometimes impropriety. He will, however, get on, and 
 will probably act well, if it does not interfere with his advantage : and 
 even corrupt men will respect his principles : his promotion, therefore, 
 will afford a political, though not a moral pleasure. 
 
 The defeat he will experience from Mr. P*"l*t, may be of ser- 
 vice to him — it will check an overweening ambition, and disappoint 
 his ill-judging expectation of becoming the Mr Feele of Ireland. 
 
 He will return to the ad**m*l*y. I hope, defeated not disgraced, 
 and will have learnt to trust more to his parts, and less to his party. 
 
I 
 
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U.C.BERKELEY LIBRARIES 
 
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 THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY 
 
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