'&. / Maiden 6c Married Life OF MARY POWELL, Afterwards Mtftrefs Milton. THIRD EDITION. LONDON : Printed for ARTHUR HALL, VIRTUE, & Co. at 25, Pater nojler Row. THE Maiden and Married Life OF M.ARY POWELL, Afterwards Mtftrefs Milton. JOURNALL. For eft Hill, Oxon y May ist, 1643. * * * * SEVENTEENTH Birth- daye. A Gyplie Woman at the Gate woulde faine have tolde my Fortune; but Mother chafed her away, faying me had doubtleffe harboured in fome of the low Houfes in Oxford, and mighte bring us the Plague. Coulde have cried for Vexation ; me had promifed to tell me the Colour of B my 2066118 1643. 1 643- May and. Maiden & Married Life my Hufband's Eyes ; but Mother fays me believes I mall never have one, I am foe fillie. Father gave me a gold Piece. Dear Mother is chafed, methinks, touching this Debt of five hundred Pounds, which Father fays he knows not how to pay. Indeed, he fayd, overnighte, his whole perfonal Eftate amounts to but five hundred Pounds, his Timber and Wood to four hundred more, or thereabouts; and the Tithes and MefTuages of Whateley are no great Matter, being mortgaged for about as much more, and he hath lent Sights of Money to them that won't pay, fo 'tis hard to be thus preft. Poor Father ! 'twas good of him to give me this gold Piece. Coufin Rofe married to Mailer Roger Agnew. Prefent, Father, Mo- ther , and Brother of Rofe ; Father, Mother, of Mary Powell. Mother, Dick, Bob, Harry, and I ; Squire Paice and his Daughter Audrey ; an olde Aunt of M after Roger's, and one of his Couiins, a ftiffe-backed Man with large Eares, and fuch a long Nofe ! Coufin Rofe looked bewtifulle pitie fo faire a Girl mould marry fo olde a Man 'tis thoughte he wants not manie Years of fifty. New Misfortunes in the Poultrie Yarde. Poor Mother's Loyalty can- not ftand the Demands for her beft Chickens, Ducklings, &c., for the Ufe of his Majefty's Officers fince the King hath beene in Oxford. She accufeth my Father of having beene wonne over by a few faire Speeches to be more of a Royalift than his natural Temper inclineth him to ; which, of courfe, he will not admit. Whole 1643. 1643- May 8th. Maiden & Married Life Whole Day taken up in a Vifit to Rofe, now a Week married, and growne quite matronlie already. We reached Sheepfcote about an Hour be- fore Noone. A long, broade, ftrait Walke of green Turf, planted with Hollyoaks, Sunflowers, &c., and fome earlier Flowers alreadie in Bloom, led up to the rufticall Porch of a truly farm-like Houfe, with low gable Roofs, a long lattice Window on either Side the Doore, and three Cafements above. Such, and no more, is Rofe's Houfe ! But {he is happy, for me came running forthe, foe foone as me hearde Clover's Feet, and helped me from my Saddle all fmiling, tho' me had not expected to fee us. We had Curds and Creame ; and me wifhed it were the Time of Strawberries, for me fayd they had large Beds ; and then my Father and the Boys went of Mary Powell. went forthe to looke for Mafter Agnew. Then Rofe took me up to her Chamber, finging as me went; I and the long, low Room was fweet ! with Flowers. Sayd I, " Rofe, to " be Miftrefs of this pretty Cottage, " 'twere hardlie amirTe to marry a " Man as olde as Mafter Roger." " Olde ! " quoth me, " deare Moll, " you muft not deeme him olde ; " why, he is but forty-two ; and am " not I twenty-three ? " She lookt foe earnefte and hurte, that I coulde not but falle a laughing. Mother gone to Sandford. She hopes to get Uncle John to lend Father this Money. Father fays me may try. 'Tis harde to difcourage her with an ironicalle Smile, when me is doing alle me can, and more than manie Women woulde, to help Father in his Difficultie ; but fuche, me 1643. May 9th. 1643. Maiden & Married Life me fayth fomewhat bitterlie, is the Lot of our Sex. She bade Father mind that fhe had brought him three thoufand Pounds, and afkt what had come of them. Anfwered; helped to fille the Mouths of nine healthy Children, and flop the Mouth of an eafie Hufband; foe, with a Kifs, made it up. I have the Keys, and am left MiftrefTe of alle, to my greate Con- tentment ; but the Children clamour for Sweetmeats, and Father fayth, " Remember, Moll, Difcretion is the " better Part of Valour." After Mother had left, went into the Paddock, to feed the Colts with Bread ; and while they were putting their Nofes into Robin s Pockets, Dick brought out the two Ponies, and fet me on one of them, and we had a mad Scamper through the Meadows and down the Lanes ; I leading. Jufl at the Turne of Hoi- ford's of Mary Powell. ford's Clofe, came fliorte upon a Gen- tleman walking under the Hedge, clad in a fober, genteel Suit, and of moft beautifulle Countenance, with Hair like a Woman's, of a lovely pale brown, long and iilky, falling over his Shoulders. I nearlie went over him, for Clover s hard Forehead knocked agaynft his Cheft ; but he ftoode it like a Rock ; and lookinge firfte at me and then at Dick, he fmiled and fpoke to my Brother, who feemed to know him, and turned about and walked by us, fometimes flroaking Clover s maggy Mane. I felte a little afhamed ; for Dick had fett me on the Poney jufl as I was, my Gown fomewhat too fhorte for riding : however, I drewe up my Feet and let Clover nibble a little Grafle, and then got rounde to the neare Side, our new Companion ftille between us. He offered me fome 1643. 1643. Maiden & Married Life fome wild Flowers, and afkt me theire Names ; and when I tolde them, he fayd I knew more than he did, though he accounted him- felfe a prettie fayre Botanifte : and we went on thus, talking of the Herbs and Simples in the Hedges ; and I fayd how prettie fome of theire Names were, and that, methought, though Adam had named alle the Animals in Paradife, perhaps Eve had named alle the Flowers. He lookt earneftlie at me, on this, and muttered " prettie." Then Dick afkt of him News from London, and he fpoke, methought, refervedlie ; ever and anon turning his bright, thoughtfulle Eyes on me. At length, we parted at the Turn of the Lane. I afkt Dick who he was, and he told me he was one Mr. John Milton, the Party to whom Father owed five hundred Pounds. He was the Sonne of of Mary Powell. of a Buckinghamjhire Gentleman, he added, well connected, and very fcholaric, but affected towards the Parliament. His Grandfire, a zea- lous Papifte, formerly lived in Oxon, and disinherited the Father of this Gentleman for abjuring the Romifo Faith. When I found how faire a Gen- tleman was Father's Creditor, I be- came the more interefted in deare Mother's SuccerTe. Dick began to harpe on another Ride to Sheepfcote this Morning, and perfuaded Father to let him have the bay Mare, foe he and I ftarted at aboute Ten o' the Clock. Arrived at Matter Agnews Doore, found it open, no one in Parlour or Studdy; foe Dick tooke the Horfes rounde, and then we went ftraite thro' the Houfe, into the Garden behind, which 1643. May 1 3th. 10 Maiden & Married Life which is on a riling Ground, with pleached Alleys and turfen Walks, and a Peep of the Church through the Trees. A Lad tolde us his Miftrefs was with the Bees, foe we walked towards the Hives ; and, from an Arbour hard by, hearde a Murmur, though not of Bees, iffu- ing. In this rufticall Bowre, found Roger Agnew reading to Rofe and to Mr. Milton. Thereupon enfued manie cheerfulle Salutations, and Rofe propofed returning to the Houfe, but Mailer Agnew fayd it was pleafanter in the Bowre, where was Room for alle ; foe then Rofe offered to take me to her Chamber to lay afide my Hoode, and promifed to fend a Jun- kett into the Arbour; whereon Mr. Agnew fmiled at Mr. Milton, and fayd fomewhat of " neat-handed " PhilKs." As we went alonge, I tolde Rofe I of Mary Powell. I had feene her Gueft once before, and thought him a comely, pleafant Gentleman. She laught, and fayd, " Pleafant ? why, he is one of the " greateft Scholars of our Time, and " knows more Languages than you " or I ever hearde of." I made Anfwer, " That may be, and yet " might not enfure his being plea- " fant, but rather the contrary, for " I cannot reade Greeke and Latin, " Rofe, like you." Quoth Rofe, " but you can reade Engltfh, and he " hath writ fome of the lovelieft " ILngliJh Verfes you ever hearde, " and hath brought us a new Com- " pofure this Morning, which Roger, " being his olde College Friend, was " difcuffing with him, to my greate " Pleafure, when you came. After " we have eaten the Junkett, he " mall beginne it again." " By no " Means," faid I, "for I love Talking " more 1 1 1643. 12 1643. Maiden & Married Life " more than Reading." However, it was not foe to be, for Rqfe woulde not be foyled ; and as it woulde not have been good Manners to decline the Hearinge in Prefence of the Poet, I was conflrayned to fupprefTe a fecret Yawne, and feign Attention, though, Truth to fay, it foone wan- dered ; and, during the laft halfe Hour, I fat in a compleat Dreame, tho' not unpleafant one. Roger having made an End, 'twas diverting to heare him commending the Piece unto the Author, who as gravely accepted it; yet, with Nothing fulle- fome about the one, or mifproud about the other. Indeed, there was a fedate Sweetneffe in the Poet's Wordes as well as Lookes ; and mortlie, waiving the Difcuflion of his owne Compofures, he beganne to talke of thofe of other Men, as Shakfpeare, Spenfer, Cow ley , Ben Jori/bn, of Mary Powell. Jonfon, and of Taffo, and Taffo's Friend the Marquis of Villa, whome, it appeared, Mr. Milton had Know- ledge of in Italy. Then he afktme, woulde I not willingly have feene the Country of Romeo and Juliet, and preft to know whether I loved Poetry; but finding me loath to tell, fayd he doubted not I preferred Ro- mances, and that he had read manie, and loved them dearly too. I fayd, I loved Shakfpeares Plays better than Sidney's Arcadia; on which he cried " Righte," and drew nearer to me, and woulde have talked at greater length ; but, knowing from Rofe how learned he was, I feared to mew him I was a fillie Foole ; foe, like a fillie Foole, held my Tongue. Dinner ; Eggs, Bacon, roafl Ribs of Lamb, Spinach, Potatoes, fa- voury Pie, a Brentford Pudding, and Cheefecakes. What a pretty Houfewife 1643. 1643. Maiden & Married Life Houfewife Rofe is ! Roger's plain Hofpitalitie and fcholaric Difcourfe appeared to much Advantage. He aflct of News from Paris ; and Mr. Milton fpoke much of the Swedijh AmbaiTadour, Dutch by Birth; a Man renowned for his Learning, Magnanimity, and Misfortunes, of whome he had feene much. He tolde Rofe and me how this Mifter Van der Groote had beene unjuftlie cafte into Prifon by his Countrymen ; and how his good Wife had mared his Captivitie, and had tried to get his Sentence reverfed; failing which, ihe contrived his Efcape in a big Cheft, which me pretended to be full of heavie olde Bookes. Mr. Milton concluded with the Excla- mation, "Indeede, there never was "fuch a Woman;" on which, deare Roger, whome I beginne to love, quoth, " Oh yes, there are manie " fuch, of Mary Powell. (t fuch, we have two at Table " now." Whereat, Mr. Milton fmiled. At Leave-taking prefTed Mr. Ag- new and Rofe to come and fee us foone; and Dick afkt Mr. Milton to fee the Bowling Greene. Ride Home, delightfulle. Thought, when I woke this Morn- ing, I had been dreaminge of St. Paul let down the Wall in a Bafket; but founde, on more clofely examin- ing the Matter, 'twas Grotius carried down the Ladder in a Cheft; and methought I was his Wife, leaninge from the Window above, and crying to the Souldiers, "Have a Care, have a Care ! " 'Tis certayn I fhoulde have betraied him by an Over-anxietie. Refolved to give Father a Sheepf- cote Dinner, but Margery affirmed the Haunch woulde no longer keepe, fo 1643. Slay 14.1!). i6 1643. Maiden & Married Life fo was forced to have it dreft, though meaninge to have kept it for Com- panie. Little Kate, who had been out alle the Morning, came in with her Lap full of Butter-burs, the which I was glad to fee, as Mother efteemes them a fovereign Remedie 'gainft the Plague, which is like to be rife in Oxford this Summer, the Citie being fo overcrowded on ac- count of his MajefHe. While laying them out on the Stille-room Floor, in burfls Robin to fay Mr. Agne*w and Mr. Milton were with Father at the Bowling Greene, and woulde dine here. Soe was glad Margery had put down the Haunch. 'Twas paft One o' the Clock, however, be- fore it coulde be fett on Table ; and I had juft run up to pin on my Car- nation Knots, when I hearde them alle come in difcourfing merrilie. At Dinner Mr. Milton afkt Robin of of Mary Powell. 1 7 of his Studdies ; and I was in Payne for the deare Boy, knowing him to be better affected to his out-doore Recreations than to his Booke ; but he anfwered boldlie he was in Ovid, and I lookt in Mr. Milton s Face to gueffe was that goode Scholarfhip or no ; but he turned it towards my Father, and fayd he was trying an Experiment on two young Nephews of his owne, whether the reading thofe Authors that treate of phyfical Subjects mighte not advantage them more than the Poets ; whereat my Father jetted with him, he being himfelfe one of the Fraternitie he feemed to defpife. But he uphelde his Argumente fo bravelie, that Father liftened in earnefte Silence. Meantime, the Cloth being drawne, and I in Feare of remaining over long, was avifed to withdrawe my- felfe earlie, Robin following, and c begging i8 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . begging me to goe downe to the Fifh-ponds. Afterwards alle the others joyned us, and we fate on the Steps till the Sun went down, when, the Horfes being broughte round, our Guefts tooke Leave without returning to the Houfe. Father walked thoughtfullie Home with me, leaning on my Shoulder, and fpake little. May 1 5th. After writing the above lafl Night, in my Chamber, went to Bed and had a moft heavenlie Dreame. Me- thoughte it was brighte, brighte Moonlighte, and I was walking with Mr. Milton on a Terrace, not our Terrace, but in fome outlandim Place ; and it had Flights and Flights of green marble Steps, defcending, I cannot tell how farre, with ftone Figures and Vafes on everie one. We went downe and downe thefe Steps, of Mary Powell. Steps, till we came to a faire Piece of Water, flill in the Moonlighte ; and then, methoughte, he woulde be taking Leave, and fayd much aboute Abfence and Sorrowe, as tho' we had knowne cache other fome Space ; and alle that he fayd was delightfulle to heare. Of a fuddain we hearde Cries, as of Dif- treffe, in a Wood that came quite down to the Water's Edge, and Mr. Milton fayd, " Hearken ! " and then, " There is fome one being flaine in " the Woode, I muft goe to refcue "him;" and foe, drewe his Sword and ran off. Meanwhile, the Cries continued, but I did not feeme to ' mind them much ; and, looking ftedfaftlie downe into the cleare Water, coulde fee to an immeafur- able Depth, and beheld, oh, rare ! Girls fitting on gliilening Rocks, far downe beneathe, combing and braiding 1643. 2o Maiden & Married Life 1643 braiding their brighte Hair, and talking and laughing, onlie I coulde not heare aboute what. And theire Kirtles were like fpun Glafs, and theire Bracelets Coral and Pearl; and I thought it the faireil Sight that Eyes coulde fee. But, alle at once, the Cries in the Wood af- frighted them, for they ftarted, looked upwards and alle aboute, and began fwimming thro' the cleare Water fo fail, that it became troubled and thick, and I coulde fee them noe more. Then I was aware that the Voices in the Wood were of Dick and Harry, calling for me ; and I foughte to anfwer, "Here!" but my Tongue was heavie. Then I commenced running towards them, through ever fo manie greene Paths, in the Wood ; but ilill, we coulde never meet ; and I began to fee grinning Faces, neither of Man nor Beafte of Mary Powell. Beafte, peeping at me through the Trees ; and one and another of them called me by Name ; and in greate Feare and Paine I awoke ! * * # * Strange Things are Dreames. Dear Mother thinks much of them, and fayth they oft portend coming Events. My Father holdeth the Opinion that they are rather made up of what hath alreadie come to pafTe ; but furelie naught like this Dreame of mine hath in anie Part befallen me hithertoe ? * * * * What ftrange Fable or Mafque were they reading that Day at Sheepfcote ? I mind not. Too much bufied of late to write, though much hath happened which I woulde fain remember. Dined at Shot over yefterday. Met Mother, who is coming Home in a Day or two, but helde fhort Speech with me 21 1643. May zoth. 22 1643. Maiden & Married Life me afide concerning Houfewifery. The Agnews there, of courfe : alfoe Mr. Milton, whom we have feene continuallie, lately ; and I know not how it fhoulde be, but he feemeth to like me. Father affects him much, but Mother loveth him not. She hath feene little of him : per- haps the lefs the better. Ralph Hewlett, as ufuall, forward in his rough Endeavours to pleafe ; but, though no Scholar, I have yet Senfe enough to prefer Mr. Milton s Dif- courfe to his. * * * * I wifh I were fonder of Studdy ; but, ilnce it can- not be, what need to vex ? Some are born of one Mind, fome of another. Rofe was alwaies for her Booke ; and, had Rofe beene no Scholar, ^Ar.Agnew woulde, may be, never have given her a fecond Thoughte : but alle are not of the fame Way of thinking. * * * * A few Lines received from of Mary Powell. from Mother s " fpoilt Boy," as Fa- ther hath called Brother Bill, ever lince he went a foldiering. Blurred and mis-fpelt as they are, me will prize them. Trulie, we are none of us grate Hands at the Pen ; 'tis well I make this my Copie-booke. * * * * Oh, ftrange Event! Can this be HappinefTe ? Why, then, am I foe feared, foe mazed, foe prone to Weeping ? I woulde that Mother were here. Lord have Mercie on me a iinfulle, fillie Girl, and guide my Steps arighte. # * * * Jt feemes like a Dreame, (I have done noughte but dreame of late, I think,) my going along the matted Paffage, and hearing Voices in my Father's Chamber, juft as my Hand was on the Latch; and my withdrawing my Hand, and going foftlie away, though I never paufed at 2 3 1643. May 22(1. l6 43- Maiden & Married Life at difturbing him before ; and, after I had beene a full Houre in the Stille Room, turning over ever foe manie Trays full of dried Herbs and Flower-leaves, hearing him come forthe and call, " Moll, deare Moll, "where are you?" with I know not what of flrange in the Tone of his Voice ; and my running to him haftilie, and his drawing me into his Chamber, and clofing the Doore. Then he takes me round the Waifte, and remains quite filent awhile ; I gazing on him fo ftrangelie ! and at length, he fays with a Kind of Sigh, " Thou art indeed but young yet ! " fcarce feventeen, and frefh, as " Mr. Milton fays, as the earlie May ; " too tender, forfooth, to leave us " yet, fweet Child ! But what wilt " fay, Moll, when I tell thee that a " well-efteemed Gentleman, whom " as yet indeed I know too little of, " hath of Mary Powell. " hath craved of me Accefs to the " Houfe as one that woulde win " your Favour ?" Thereupon, fuch a fuddain Faint- nefs of the Spiritts overtooke me, (a Thing I am noe way fubject to,) as that I fell down in a Swound at Father's Feet ; and when I came to myfelfe agayn, my Hands and Feet feemed full of Prickles, and there was a Humming as of Roje's Bees, in mine Ears. Lett ice and Margery were tending of me, and Father watching me full of Care ; but foe foone as he faw me open mine Eyes, he bade the Maids ftand alide, and fayd, ftooping over me, " Enough, " dear Moll ; we will talk noe more " of this at prefent." " Onlie ju'ft " te'll me," quoth I, in a Whifper, " who it is." " GuefTe," fayd he. " I cannot," I foftlie replied ; and, with the Lie, came fuch a Rum of Blood 2 5 1643. 26 Maiden & Married Life 1643. Blood to my Cheeks as betraied me. " I am fure you have though," fayd deare Father, gravelie, " and I neede " not fay it is Mr. Milton, of whome " I know little more than you doe, " and that is not enough. On the " other Hand, Roger Agnew fayth " that he is one of whome we " can never know too much, and " there is fomewhat about him " which inclines me to believe it." " What will Mother fay ? " inter- rupted I. Thereat Father s Coun- tenance changed ; and he haftllie anfwered, " Whatever me likes : I " have an Anfwer for her, and a " Queftion too ; " and abruptlie left me, bidding me keepe myfelfe quiet. But can I ? Oh, no ! Father hath fett a Stone rolling, unwitting of its Courfe. It hath proftrated me in the firft Inftance, and will, I mif- doubt, hurt my Mother. Father is bold of Mary Powell. bold enow in her Abfence, but when me comes back will leave me to face her Anger alone ; or elfe, make fuch a Stir to mew that he is not governed by a Woman, as wille make Things worfe. Meanwhile, how woulde I have them ? Am I moil pleafed or payned ? difmayed or flattered ? Indeed, I know not. * # * * i am f oe forry to have fwooned. Needed I have done it, merelie to heare there was one who foughte my Favour ? Aye, but one foe wife ! fo thoughtfulle ! fo unlike me ! Bedtime ; fame Daye. # * * * Who knoweth what a Daye will bring forth ? After writing the above, I fate like one ftupid, ruminating on I know not what, except on the Unlikelihood that one foe wife woulde trouble himfelfe to feeke for aught and yet fail to win. After 27 1643. 28 Maiden & Married Life 1643- After abiding a long Space in mine owne Chamber, alle below feeming ftill, I began to wonder moulde we dine alone or. not, and to have a hundred hot and cold Fitts of Hope and Feare. Thought I, if Mr. Milton comes, affuredlie I cannot goe down ; but yet I muft ; but yet I will not ; but yet the beft will be to conduct myfelfe as though Nothing had happened ; and, as he feems to have left the Houfe long ago, maybe he hath returned to Sheepfcote, or even to London. Oh that London ! Shall I indeede ever fee it ? and the rare Shops, and the Play-houfes, and Paul's, and the 'Towre ? But what and if that ever comes to pafs ? Muft I leave Home ? dear Foreft Hill? and Father and Mother, and the Boys ? more efpeciallie Robin ? Ah ! but Father will give me a long Time to think of it. He will, and muft. Then of Mary Powell. Then Dinner-time came ; and, with Dinner-time, Uncle Hewlett and Ralph, Squire Pake and Mr. Milton. We had a huge Sirloin, foe no Feare of fhort Commons. I was not ill pleafed to fee foe manie : it gave me an Excufe for holding my Peace, but I coulde have wifhed for another Woman. However, Father never thinks of that, and Mother will foone be Home. After Dinner the elder Men went to the Bowling-greene with Dick and Ralph; the Boys to the Fim-ponds ; and, or ever I was aware, Mr. Milton was walking with me on the Terrace. My Dreame came foe forcibly to Mind, that my Heart feemed to leap into my Mouth ; but he kept away from the Fim-ponds, and from Leave- taking, and from his morning Dif- courfe with my Father, at leaft for 29 30 Maiden & Married Life 1643- for awhile ; but fome Way he got round to it, and fayd foe much, and foe well, that, after alle my Father's bidding me keepe quiete and take my Time, and mine owne Refolu- tion to think much and long, he never refled till he had changed the whole Appearance of Things, and made me promife to be his, wholly and trulie. And oh ! I feare I have been too quickly wonne ! 230. May 23d. At leafte, fo fayeth the Calendar ; but with me it hath beene trulie an April Daye, alle Smiles and Teares. And now my Spiritts are foe perturbed and difmaid, as that I know not whether to weepe or no, for methinks crying would re- lieve me. At firft waking this Morning my Mind was elated at the Fallitie of my Mother's Notion, that no Man of Senfe woulde think me of Mary Powell. me worth the having ; and foe I got up too proude, I think, and came down too vain, for I had fpent an unufuall Time at the Glalfe. My Spiritts, alfoe, were foe unequall, that the Boys took Notice of it, and it feemed as though I coulde breathe nowhere but out of Doors ; fo the Children and I had a rare Game of Play in the Home-clofe ; but ever and anon I kept looking towards the Road and liftening for Horfes' Feet, till Robin fayd, " One would think " the King was coming : " but at laft came Mr. Milton, quite another Way, walking through the Fields with huge Strides. Kate faw him firfte, and tolde me ; and then fayd, What makes you look foe pale ? " ***** We fate a good Space under the Hawthorn Hedge on the Brow of the Hill, liftening to the Mower's Scythe, 3 1 1643. 3 2 Maiden & Married Life 1643- Scythe, and the Song of Birds, which feemed enough for him, without talking ; and as he fpake not, I helde my Peace, till, with the Sun in my Eyes, I was like to drop afleep ; which, as his own Face was from me, and towards the Landfkip, he noted not. I was juft aiming, for Mirthe's Sake, to fteale away, when he fuddainlie turned about and fell to fpeaking of rurall Life, Happi- nefTe, Heaven, and fuch like, in a Kind of Rapture ; then, with his Elbow half raifing him from the Grafs, lay looking at me ; then commenced humming or finging I know not what Strayn, but 'twas of ' begli Occhi ' and ' Chioma aurata ; ' and he kept fmiling the while he fang. After a Time we went In-doors ; and then came my firfle Pang : for Father founde out how I had pledged myfelfe ofMzry Powell. myfelfe overnighte; and for a Mo- ment looked foe grave, that my Heart mifgave me for having beene foe haftie. However, it foone paff- ed off; deare Father's Countenance cleared, and he even feemed merrie at Table; and foon after Dinner alle the Party difperfed fave Mr. Milton, who loitered with me on the Terrace. After a fhort Silence he exclaimed, " How good is our " God to us in alle his Gifts! For " Inftance, in this Gift of Love, " whereby had he withdrawn from " vifible Nature a thoufand of its " glorious Features and gay Colour- " ings, we fhoulde ftille pofftfs,from " within, the Means of throwing " over her clouded Face an entirelie " different Hue! while as it is, what " was pleafing before now pleafeth "more than ever! Is it not foe, " fweet Moll? May I exprefs thy D " Feelings 33 1643. 34 1643. Maiden & Married Life " Feelings as well as mine own, "unblamed? or am I too adven- " turous? You are filent; well, " then, let me believe that we think " alike, and that the Emotions of " the few lafle Hours have given " fuch an Impulfe to alle that is " high, and fweete, and deepe, and " pure, and holy in our innermofte " Hearts, as that we feeme now " onlie firfle to tafte the Life of " Life, and to perceive how much " nearer Earth is to Heaven than " we thought! Is it foe? Is it not "foe?" and I was conftrayned to fay, " Yes," at I fcarcelie knew what; grudginglie too, for I feared having once alreadie fayd " Yes" too foone. But he faw nought amiffe, for he was expecting nought amilTe; foe went on, moft like Truth and Love that Lookes could fpeake or Words founde : " Oh, I know "it, of Mary Powell. " it, I feel it: henceforthe there " is a Life referved for us in which " Angels may fympathize. For this " moft excellent Gift of Love mall " enable us to read together the " whole Booke of Sanctity and Vir- " tue, and emulate eache other in "carrying it into Practice; and as " the wife Magians kept theire Eyes " fteadfaftlie fixed on the Star, and " followed it righte on, through " rough and fmoothe, foe we, with " this bright Beacon, which indeed " is fet on Fire of Heaven, mall " pafs on through the peacefull " Studdies, furmounted Adverlities, " and viclorious Agonies of Life, " ever looking fleadfaftlie up!" Alle this, and much more, as tedious to heare as to write, did I liften to, firfte with flagging Atten- tion, next with concealed Weari- nelTe ; and as WearinerTe, if in- dulged, 35 1643. 1643. Maiden & Married Life dulged, never is long concealed, it foe chanced, by Ill-luck, that Mr. Milton, fuddainlie turning his Eyes from Heaven upon poor me,caughte, I can fcarcelie exprelTe how flighte, an Indication of Difcomforte in my Face ; and inftantlie a Cloud crofTed his owne, though as thin as that through which the Sun mines while it floats over him. Oh, 'twas not of a Moment ! and yet in that Moment we feemed cache to have feene the other, though but at a Glance, under new Circumftances : as though two Perfons at a Mafquerade had juft removed their Mafques and put them on agayn. This gave me my feconde Pang: I felt I had given him Payn; and though he made as though he forgot it directly, and I tooke Payns to make him forget it, I coulde never be quite fure whether he had. My Powell. Spiritts were foe darned by this, and by learning his Age to be foe much more than I had deemed it, (for he is thirty-five ! who coulde have thoughte it ?) that I had, thenceforthe, the Aire of being much more difcreete and pen- five than belongeth to my Nature; whereby he was, perhaps, well pleafed. As I became more grave he became more gay; foe that we met cache other, as it were, half- way, and became righte pleafant. If his Countenance were comely before, it is quite heavenlie now ; and yet I queftion whether my Love increafeth as rapidlie as my Feare. Surelie my Folly will prove as diftaftefull to him, as his over- much Wifdom to me. The Dread of it hath alarmed me alreadie. What has become, even now, of alle my gay Vifions of Marriage, and 37 1643. 1643- May 24th. Maiden & Married Life and London, and the Play-houfes, and the Towre? They have faded away thus earlie, and in their Place comes a Foreboding of I can fcarce fay what. I am as if a Child, receiving from fome olde Fairy the Gift of what feemed a fayre Doll's Houfe, moulde haflilie open the Doore thereof, and ftarte back at beholding nought within but a huge Cavern, deepe, high, and vafte; in parte glittering with glorious Chryf- tals, and the Reft hidden in obfcure DarkneiTe. Deare Rofe came this Morning. I flew forthe to welcome her, and as I drew near, me lookt upon me with fuch a Kind of Awe as that I could not forbeare laughing. Mr. Milton having flept at Sheepfcote, had made her privy to our Engage- ment; forindeede,he and Nlr.Agnew are , of Mary Powell. are fuch Friends, he will keep No- thing from him. Thus Rofe heares it before my owne Mother, which moulde not be. When we had entered my Chamber, me embraced me once and agayn, and feemed to think foe much of my uncommon Fortune, that I beganne to think more of it myfelfe. To heare her talke of Mr. Milton one would have fuppofed her more in Love with him than I. Like a Bookworm as me is, me fell to prayfing his Compofures. " Oh, the leafte I care for in him is "his Verting," quoth I; and from that Moment a Spiritt of Mifchief tooke PofTemon of me, to do a thoufand heedlefle, ridiculous Things throughoute the Day, to mew Rofe how little I fet by the Opinion of foe wife a Man. Once or twice Mr. Milton lookt earneftlie and queftion- inglie at me, but I heeded him not. Difcourfe 39 1643. Maiden & Married Life 1643. * * * * Difcourfe at Table graver and lefs pleafant, methoughte, than heretofore. Mr. Eujire having dropt in, was avifed to afk Mr. Milton why, having had an univerfity Education, he had not entered the Church. He replied, drylie enough, becaufe he woulde not fubfcribe himfelfe Slave to anie Formularies of Men's mak- ing. I faw Father bite his Lip; and Roger Agnew mildly obferved, he thought him wrong; for that it was not for an Individual to make Rules for another Individual, but yet that the generall Voice of the Wife and Good, removed from the pettie Prejudices of private Feeling, mighte pronounce authoritativelie wherein an Individual was righte or wrong, and frame Laws to keepe him in the righte Path. Mr. Milton replyed, that manie Fallibles could no more make up an Infallible than manie of Mary Powell. manie Finites could make an Infinite. Mr. Agnew rejoyned, that ne'erthe- leffe, an Individual who oppofed himfelfe agaynfl the generall Cur- rent of the Wife and Good, was, leafte of alle, likelie to be in the Right ; and that the Limitations of human Intellect which made the Judgment of manie wife Men liable to Qu.efr.ion, certainlie made the Judgment of anle wife Man, felf- dependent, more quefHonable frill. Mr. Milton fhortlie replied that there were Particulars in the required Oaths which made him unable to take them without Perjurie. And foe, an End : but 'twas worth a World to fee Rofe looking foe anxiouflie from the one Speaker to the other, defirous that cache mould be victorious ; and I was forry that it lafled not a little longer. As Rofe and I tooke our Way to the Maiden & Married Life I<5 43- the Summer-houfe, fhe put her Arm round me, faying, " How charming " is divine Philofophie ! " I coulde not helpe afking if me did not meane how charming was the Phi- lofophie of one particular Divine ? Soe then me difcourfed with me of Things more feemlie for Women than Philofophie or Divinitie either. Onlie, when Mr. Agnew and Mr. Milton joyned us, fhe woulde alke them to repeat one Piece of Poetry after another, beginning with Ca- rews " He 'who loves a rojle Cheeke, Or a coral Lip admires, " And crying at the End of eache, " Is not that lovely ? Is not that " divine ? " I franklie fayd I liked none of them foe much as fome Mr. Agnew had recited, concluding with " Mortals of Mary Powell. " Mortals that would follow me, Love Virtue : flie alone is free." Whereon Mr. Milton furprifed me with a fudden Kifs, to the immo- derate Mirthe of Ro/e, who fayd I coulde not have looked more dif- compofed had he pretended he was the Author of thofe Verfes. I after- wards found he was ; but I think me laught more than there was neede. We have ever been coniidered a fufficientlie religious Familie : that is, we goe regularly to Church on Sabbaths and Prayer-dayes, and keepe alle the Farts and Feftivalles. But Mr. Milton s Devotion hath at- tayned a Pitch I can neither imitate nor even comprehende. The fpi- rituall World feemeth to him not onlie reall, but I may almofle fay vifible. For Inftance, he tolde Rofe, it 43 1643. 44 Maiden & Married Life i6 43- i it appears, that on Tuefday Nighte, | (that is the fame Evening I had promifed to be his,) as he went homewards to his Farm-lodging, he fancied the Angels whifperinge in his Eares, and linging over his Head, and that inftead of going to his Bed like a reafonable Being, he lay down on the Grafs, and gazed on the fweete, pale Moon till me fett, and then on the bright Starres till he feemed to fee them moving in a flowe, folemn Dance, to the Words, " How glorious is our God!" And alle about him, he faid, he knew, tho' he coulde not fee them, were fpirituall Beings repairing the Ravages of the Day on the Flowers, amonge the Trees, and Graffe, and Hedges ; and he believed 'twas onlie the Filme that originall Sin had fpread over his Eyes, that prevented his feeing them. 1 am thankful for this of Mary Powell. this fame Filme, I cannot abide Fairies, and Witches, and Ghofts ugh ! I fhudder even to write of them ; and were it onlie of the more harmlefle Sort, one woulde never have the Comforte of think- inge to be alone. I fearj& Church- yardes and dark Corners of alle Kinds ; more efpeciallie Spiritts ; and there is onlie one I would even wifh to fee at my braveft, when deepe Love cafteth out Feare ; and that is of Sifter Anne, whome I never aflbciate with the Worme and Winding 7 fheete. Oh no ! I think Jhe, at leafte, dwells amonge the Starres, having fprung ftraite up into Lighte and BlifTe the Moment me put off Mortalitie ; and if me, why not others? Are Adam and Abraham alle thefe Yeares in the unconfcious Tomb ? Theire Bodies, but furelie not their Spiritts ? elfe, why 45 1643. 4 6 1643. Maiden & Married Life why dothe Chriji fpeak of Lazarus lying in Abraham's Bofom, while the Brothers of Dives are yet riot- ouflie living ? Yet what becomes of the Daye of generall Judgment, if fome be thus pre-judged ? I muft afke Mr. Milton, yes, I thinke I can finde it in my Heart to afke him about this in fome folemn, ilille Hour, and perhaps he will fett at Reft manie Doubts and Mifgivings that at fundrie Times trouble me ; being foe wife a Man. Bedtime. * * * * Glad to fleale - away from the noifie Companie in the Supper-roome, (comprifing fome of Father's Fellow-magiftrates,) I went down with Robin and Kate to the Fim-ponds ; it was fcarce Sunfet : and there, while we threw Crumbs to the Fifh and watched them come to of Mary Powell. to the Surface, were followed, or ever we were aware, by Mr. Milton, who fate down on the ftone Seat, drew Robin between his Knees, flroked his Haire, and afkt what we were talking about. Robin fayd I had beene telling them a fairie Story ; and Mr. Milton obferved that was an infinite Improvement on the jangling, puzzle-headed Prating of Country Juftices, and wifhed I woulde tell it agayn. But I was afrayd. But Robin had no Feares; foe tolde the Tale roundlie ; onlie he forgot the End. Soe he found his Way backe to the Middle, and feemed likelie to make it laft alle Night; onlie Mr. Milton fayd he feemed to have got into the Laby- rinth of Crete, and he muft for Pitie's Sake give him the Clew. Soe he finimed Robin s Story, and then tolde another, a moft lovelie one, 47 1643. 4 8 1643. Maiden & Married Life one, of Ladies, and Princes, and Enchanters, and a brazen Horfe, and he fayd the End of that Tale had been cut off too, by Reafon the Writer had died before he finifhed it. But Robin cryed, " Oh ! finifh " this too," and hugged and kift him ; foe he did ; and methoughte the End was better than the Be- ginninge. Then he fayd, " Now, " fweet Moll, you have onlie fpoken " this Hour part, by your Eyes ; " and we muft heare your pleafant " Voice." " An Hour ? " cries Robin. " Where are all the red " Clouds gone, then ? " quoth Mr. Milton, " and what Bufinefs hathe " the Moon yonder ? " " Then we " muft go Indoors," quoth I. But they cried " No," and Robin helde me faft, and Mr. Milton fayd I might know even by the diftant Sounds of ill-governed Merriment that we were of Mary Powell. were winding up the Week's Ac- counts of Joy and Care more con- fiftentlie where we were than we coulde doe in the Houfe. And indeede juft then I hearde my Fa- f/ier'sVoice fwelling a noiiie Chorus ; and hoping Mr. Milton did not dif- tinguifh it, I afkt him if he loved Mufick. He anfwered, foe much that it was Miferie for him to hear anie that was not of the befle. I fecretlie refolved he mould never heare mine. He added, he was come of a muficalle Familie, and that his Father not onlie fang well, but played finely on the Viol and Organ. Then he fpake of the fweet Mufick in Italy, untill I longed to be there ; but I tolde him Nothing in its Way ever pleafed me more than to heare the Chorifters of Magdalen College ufher in May Day by chaunting a Hymn at the Top of the 49 50 Maiden & Married Life 1643. the Church Towre. Difcourfing of this and that, we thus fate a good While ere we returned to the Houfe. * * * * Coming out of Church, he woulde ihun the common Field, where the Villagery led up "theire Sports, faying, he deemed Quoit- playing and the like to be unfuitable Recreations on a Daye whereupon the Lord had reftricted us from fpeakinge our own Words, and thinking our own (that is, fecular) Thoughts : and that he believed the Law of God in this Particular woulde foone be the Law of the Land, for Parliament woulde mortlie put down Sunday Sports. I afkt, " What, the "King's Parliament at Oxford?' He anfwered, " No ; the Country's " Parliament at Weftminfter" I fayd, I was forrie, for manie poore hard- working Men had no other Holiday. He of Mary Powell. He fayd, another Holiday woulde be given them ; and that whether or no, we muft not connive at Evil, which we doe in permitting an holy Daye to fink into a Holiday. I fayd, but was it not the 'Jewijh Law which had made fuch Reftrictions ? He fayd, yes, but that Chrift came not to deftroy the moral Law, of which Sabbath-keeping was a Part, and that even its naturall FitnerTe for the bodily Welfare of Man and Beaft was fuch as no wife Legiflator would abolim or abufe it, even had he no Confideration for our fpiritual and immortal Part : and that 'twas a well-known Fact that Beafts of Bur- then, which had not one Daye of Reft in feven, did leffe Worke in the End. As for oure Soules, he fayd, they required theire fpiritual Meales as much as our Bodies re- quired theires ; and even poore, rufticall 1643. 5 2 Monday. Maiden & Married Life rufticall Clownes who coulde not reade, mighte nourifh their better Parts by an holie Paufe, and by looking within them, and around them, and above them. I felt in- clined to tell him that long Sermons alwaies feemed to make me love God lefs infteade of more, but woulde not, fearing he mighte take it that I meant he had been giving me one. Mother hath returned ! The Mo- ment I hearde her Voice I fell to trembling. At the fame Moment I hearde Robin cry, " Oh, Mother, I " have broken the greene Beaker ! " which betraied Apprehenfion in an- other Quarter. However, fhe quite mildlie replied, " Ah, I knew the " Handle was loofe," and then kifl me with foe great Affection that I felt quite ealie. She had beene withhelde by a troubleforne Cold from of Mary Powell. from returning at the appointed Time, and cared not to write. 'Twas juft Supper-time, and there were the Children to kifs and to give theire Bread and Milk, and Bill's Letter to reade; foe that Nothing particular was fayd till the younger Ones were gone to Bed, and Father and Mother were taking fome Wine and Toaft. Then fays Father, "Well, Wife, " have you got the five hundred " Pounds ? " " No," me anfwers, rather carelefflie. " I tolde you how " 'twoulde be," fays Father ; " you " mighte as well have flayed at " Home." " Really, Mr. Powell" fays Mother, " foe feldom as I ftir " from my owne Chimney-corner, " you neede not to grudge me, I " think, a few Dayes among our " mutuall Relatives." " I fhall goe " to Gaol," fays Father. " Non- " fenfe," fays Mother ; " to Gaol " indeed ! " 53 1643. 54 1643. Maiden & Married Life " indeed ! " " Well, then, who is " to keepe me from it ? " fays Fa- ther, laughing. " I will anfwer for " it, Mr. Milton will wait a little " longer for his Money," fays Mo- ther, " he is an honourable Man, " I fuppofe." " I wifh he may " thinke me one," fays Father ; " and as to a little longer, what is " the goode of waiting for what " is as unlikelie to come eventuallie " as now ? " " You muft anfwer " that for yourfelfe," fays Mother, looking wearie: '* I have done what I can, and can doe no more." Well, then, 'tis lucky Matters ftand as they do," fays Father. " Mr. Milton has been much here in your Abfence, my Dear, and has " taken a Liking to our Moll ; foe, believing him, as you fay, to be an honourable Man, I have pro- mifed he fhall have her." " Non- " fenfe," of Mary Powell. " fenfe," cries Mother, turning red and then pale. " Never farther " from Nonfenfe," fays Father, "for " 'tis to be, and by the Ende of the " Month too." " You are bantering 11 me, Mr. Powell," fays Mother. " How can you fuppofe foe, my " Deare ? " fays Father, " you doe "me Injuftice." "Why, Mo//!" cries Mother, turning fharplie to- wards me, as I fate mute and fear- fulle, "what is alle this, Child? " You cannot, you dare not think " of wedding this round-headed " Puritan." " Not round-headed," fayd I, trembling ; " his Haire is as " long and curled as mine." "Don't " bandy Words with me, Girl," fays Mother, paffionatelie, " fee how unfit " you are to have a Houfe of your " owne, who cannot be left in " Charge of your Father's for a Fortnighte, without falling into " Mifchiefe ! " 55 1643. 1643- Maiden & Married Life " Mifchiefe ! " "I won't have Moll " chidden in that Way," fays Father, " me has fallen into noe Mifchiefe, " and has beene a difcreete and "dutifull Child." "Then it has " beene alle your doing," fays Mo- ther, " and you have forced the " Child into this Match." " Noe " Forcing whatever," fays Father, " they like one another, and I am " very glad of it, for it happens to " be very convenient." " Conve- " nient, indeed," repeats Mother, and falls a-weeping. Thereon I| muft needs weepe too, but {he fays, " Begone to Bed; there is noe Neede " that you fhoulde fit by to heare " your owne Father confeffe what " a Fool he has beene." To my Bedroom I have come, but cannot yet feek my Bed; the more as I ftill heare theire Voices in Contention below. This of Mary Powell. This Morninge's Breakfafte was mofte uncomfortable, I feeling like a checkt Child, fcarce minding to looke up or to eat. Mother, with Eyes red and fwollen, fcarce fpeak- ing fave to the Children ; Father directing his Difcourfe chieflie to Dick, concerning Farm Matters and I the Rangerfhip of Shotover, tho' 'twas eafie to fee his Mind was not with them. Soe foone as alle had difperfed to theire cuftomed Tafkes, and I was loitering at the Window, Father calls aloud to me from his Studdy. Thither I go, and find him and Mother, me fitting with her Back to both. " Moll," fays Father, with great Determination, "you have ac- " cepted Mr. Milton to pleafe your- j " felf, you will marry him out of " Hand to pleafe me." "Spare me, " fpare me, Mr. Powell," interrupts Mother, " if the Engagement may "not 57 1643. Tuesday. 1643. Maiden & Married Life " not be broken off, at the leaft " precipitate it not with this in- " decent Hafte. Poftponeittill " Till when?"' fays Father. " Till " the Child is olde enough to know " her owne Mind." " That is, to " put off an honourable Man on " falfe Pretences," fays Father, "me " is olde enough to know it alreadie. " Speake, Moll, are you of your " Mother s Mind to give up Mr. " Milton altogether?" I trembled, but fayd, "No." "Then, as his " Time is precious, and he knows " not when he may leave his Home " agayn, I fave you the Trouble, " Child, of naming a Day, for it " mall be the Monday before Whit- "funtide" Thereat Mother gave a Kind of Groan; but as for me, I had like to have fallen on the Ground, for I had had noe Thought of fuche Hafte. " See what you are " doing, of Mary Powell. 59 " doing, Mr. Powell" fays Mother, | l643 . compaffionating me, and raifing me up, though fomewhat roughlie ; " I prophecie Evil of this Match." " Prophets of Evil are fure to find " Lifteners," fays Father, " but I am "not one of them;" and foe left the Room. Thereon my Mother, who ahvaies feares him when he has a Fit of Determination, loofed the Bounds of her Paffion, and chid me fo unkindlie, that, humbled and mortified, I was glad to feeke my Chamber. * * * # Entering the Dining- room, however, I uttered a Shriek on feeing Father fallen back in his Chair, as though in a Fit, like unto that which terrified us a Year ago; and Mother hearing me call out, ran in, loofed his Collar, and foone broughte him to himfelfe, tho' not without much Alarm to alle. He made 60 Maiden & Married Life l643 made light of it himfelfe, and fayd 'twas merelie a fuddain Rum of Blood to the Head, and woulde not be difluaded from going out; but Mother was playnly fmote at the Heart, and having lookt after him with fome Anxietie, exclaimed, " I " fhall neither meddle nor make "more in this BufinefTe: your Fa~ " therms fuddain Seizures mall never " be layd at my Doore ; " and foe left me, till we met at Dinner. After the Cloth was drawne, enters Mr. Milt on y who goes up to Mother, and with Gracefulneffe kifTes her Hand; but me withdrewe it pet- timly, and tooke up her Sewing, on the which he lookt at her wonder- ingly, and then at me; then at her agayne, as though he woulde reade her whole Character in her Face; which having feemed to doe, and to write the fame in fome private Page of ofMary Powell. of his Heart, he never troubled her or himfelf with further Comment, but tooke up Matters jufl where he had left them laft. Ere we parted we had fome private Conference touching our Marriage, for haften- ing which he had foe much to fay that I coulde not long contend with him, efpeciallie as I founde he had plainlie made out that Mother loved him not. Houfe full of Companie, leaving noe Time to write nor think. Mo- ther fayth, tho' me cannot forbode an happie Marriage, me will provide for a merrie Wedding, and hathe growne more than commonlie tender to me, and given me fome Trinkets, a Piece of fine Holland Cloth, and enoughe of green Sattin for a Gown, that will ftand on End with its owne RichnefTe. She hathe me conftantlie with 61 1643. Wednesday. 62 1643. Maiden & Married Life with her in the Kitchen, Paflrie, and Store-room, telling me 'tis needfulle I fhoulde improve in Houfewiferie, feeing I mail foe foone have a Home of my owne. But I think Mother knows not, and I am afeard to tell her, that Mr. Milton hath no Houfe of his owne to carry me to, but onlie Lodgings, which have well fuited his Bachelor State, but may not, 'tis likelie, befeeme a Lady to live in. He deems fo himfelf, and fayeth ! we will look out for an hired Houfe i together, at our Leifure. Alle this he hath fayd to me in an Under- tone, in Mother's Prefence, me few- ing at the Table and we fitting in the Window ; and 'tis difficult to tell how much me hears, for me will afke no Queftions, and make noe Com- ments, onlie compreifes her Lips, which makes me think me knows. The c/'Mary Powell. The Children are in turbulent Spiritts; but Robin hath done nought but mope and make Moan fince he learnt he muft foe foone lofe me. A Thought hath ftruck me, Mr. Milton educates his Sifter's Sons ; two Lads of about Robin's Age. What if he woulde confent to take my Brother under his Charge? per- haps Father would be willing. Laft Vifitt to Sheepfcote, at leafte, as Mary Powell; but kind Rofe and Roger Agnew will give us the Ufe of it for a Week on our Marriage, and fpend the Time with dear Father and Mother, who will neede their Kindnefle. Rofe and I walked long aboute the Garden, her Arm round my Neck; and me was avifed to fay, " Cloth of Frieze, be not too bold, Tho* thou be matcht with Cloth of Gold," And 1643. Saturday. 1643. May zznd. Maiden & Married Life And then craved my Pardon for foe unmannerly a Rhyme, which in- deede, methoughte, needed an Ex- cufe, but expreft a Feare that I knew not (what me called) my high Deftiny, and prayed me not to trifle with Mr. Milton's Feelings nor in his Sighte, as I had done the Daye me dined at Foreft Hill. I laught, and fayd, he muft take me as he found me: he was going to marry Mary Powell, not the Wife Widow of Tekoab. Rofe lookt wiftfullie, but I bade her take Heart, for I doubted not we fhoulde content cache the other; and for the Reft, her Advice fhoulde not be forgotten. Thereat, me was pacyfied. Alle Buftle and Confufion, flay- ing of Poultrie, making of Paftrie, etc. People coming and going, preft to dine and to fup, and refufe, and then of Mary Powell. then ftay, the colde Meats and Wines ever on the Table ; and in the Even- ing, the Rebecks and Recorders fent for that we may dance in the Hall. My Spiritts have been moft un- equall ; and this Evening I was overtaken with a fuddain FaintnerTe, fuch as I never but once before ex- perienced. They would let me dance no more ; and I was quite tired enoughe to be glad to fit aparte with Mr. Milton neare the Doore, with the Moon mining on us ; untill at length he drew me out into the Garden. He fpake of HappinefTe and Home, and Hearts knit in Love, and of heavenlie Efpoufals, and of Man being the Head of the Woman, and of our Lord's Marriage with the Church, and of white Robes, and the Bridegroom coming in Clouds of Glory, and of the Voices of ringing Men and fmging Women, p. and 1643. 66 1643. May 23(1. Maiden & Married Life and eternall Spring, and eternall Blifle, and much that I cannot call to Mind, and other-much that I coulde not comprehende, but which was in mine Ears as the Song of Birds, or Falling of Waters. Rofe hath come, and hath kindlie offered to help pack the Trunks, (which are to be fent off by the Waggon to London?) that I may have the more Time to devote to Mr. Milton. Nay, but he will foon have all my Time devoted to him- felf, and I would as lief fpend what little remains in mine accuftomed Haunts, after mine accuftomed Fa- fhion. I had purpofed a Ride on Clover this Morning, with Robin ; but the poor Boy muft I trow be difappointed. And for what? Oh me! I have hearde fuch a long Sermon on of Mary Powell. on Marriage-duty and Service, that I am faine to fit down and weepe. But no, I rnuft not, for they are waiting for me in the Hall, and the Guefts are come and the Mufick is tuning, and my Lookes muft not betray me. And now farewell, Journall ; or Rofe, who firft bade me keepe you (little deeming after what Famion), will not pack you up, and I will not clofe you with a heavie Strayn. Robin is calling me beneath the Window, Father is fitting in the Shade, under the old Pear-tree, feemingly in gay Dif- courfe with Mr. Milton. To-morrow the Village-bells will ring for the Marriage of MARY POWELL. 1643. London, 68 1643. Maiden csf Married Life London, Mr. Ru/ell's, Taylor, Bride's Churchyard. Oh me ! is this my new Home ? my Heart finkes alreadie. After the fwete frefh Ayre of Sheepf- cote y and the Cleanlinefs, and the Quiet, and the pleafant Smells, Sightes, and Soundes, alle whereof Mr. Milton enjoyed to the Full as keenlie as I, faying they minded him of Paradife, how woulde Rofe pitie me, could me view me in this clofe Chamber, the Floor whereof of dark, uneven Boards, muft have beene layd, methinks, three hundred Years ago ; the oaken Pannells, utterlie destitute of Polifh, and with fundrie Chinks ; the Bed with dull brown Hangings, lined with as dull a greene, occupying Half the Space ; and of Mary Powell. and Half the Remainder being filled with duftie Books, whereof there are Store alfoe in every other Place. This Mirror, I mould thinke, be- longed to faire Rofamond. And this Arm-chair to King Lear. Over the Chimnie hangs a ruefull Por- trait, maybe of Grotius, but I moulde fooner deeme it of fome Worthie before the Flood. Onlie one Quarter of the Cafement will open, and that upon a Profpecl:, oh dolefulle ! of the Churchyarde ! Mr. Milton had need be as blythe as he was all the Time we were at Shtepfcote, or I mail be buried in that fame Churchyarde within the Twelvemonth. 'Tis well he has ftepped out to fee a Friend, that I may in his Abfence get ridd of this Fit of the Difmalls. I wifh it may be the lafl. What would Mother fay to his bringing me to fuch 1643. jo Maiden & Married Life 1643- fuch a Home as this ? I will not think. Soe this is London! How diverfe from the " towred Citie" of my Hufband's verfmg ! and of his Profe too ; for as he fpake, by the Way, of the Diforders of our Time, which extend even into cache domeftick Circle, he fayd that alle mufl, for a While, appear confufed to our imperfect View, juft as a mightie Citie unto a Stranger who fhoulde beholde around him huge, unfinished Fabrics, the Plan whereof he could but imperfecHie make out, amid the Builders' diforderlie Ap- paratus ; but that, from afar, we mighte perceive glorious Refults from party Contentions, Free- dom fpringing up from Oppreffion, Intelligence fucceeding Ignorance, Order following Diforder, juft as that fame Traveller looking at the Citie from a diilant Height, mould beholde of Mary Powell. 71 beholde Towres and Spires glitter- l6 43- ing with Gold and Marble, Streets ftretching in leflening Perfpectives, and Bridges flinging their white Arches over noble Rivers. But what of this faw we all along the Oxford Road ? Firftlie, there was noe commanding Height ; fecond, there was the Citie obfcured by a drizzling Rain ; the Ways were foul, the Faces of thofe we mett fpake lefs of Pleafure than Bulinefs, and Bells were tolling, but none ringing. Mr. Milton's Father, a grey-haired, kind old Man, was here to give us Welcome : and his firfte Words were, " Why, John, " thou haft ftolen a March on us. " Soe quickly, too, and foe fnug ! " but me is faire enoughe, Man, to " excufe thee, Royalift or noe." And foe, taking me in his Arms, kift me franklie. But I heare my 1643. Thursday. Maiden & Married Life my Hufband's Voice, and another with it. 'Twas a Mr. Lawrence whom my Hufband brought Home laft Nighte to fup ; and the Evening palTed righte pleafantlie, with News, Jeftes, and a little Muficke. Todaye hath been kindlie devoted by Mr. Milton to mewing me Sights: and oh! the ftrange, diverting Cries in the Streets, even from earlie Dawn ! " New Milk and Curds from the " Dairie ! " " Olde Shoes for fome " Brooms!" " Anie Kitchen-ftuffe, " have you, Maids ? " " Come buy " my greene Herbes !" and then in the Streets, here a Man preaching, there another juggling : here a Boy with an Ape, there a Show of Nineveh : next the News from the North ; and as for the China Shops and Drapers in the Strand, and the Cook's of Mary Powell. 73 Cook's Shops in Weftminfter, with 1643. the fmoking Ribs of Beef and frefh Salads fet out on Tables in the Street, and Men in white Aprons crying out, " Calf's Liver, Tripe, and hot " Sheep's Feet " -'twas enoughe to make One untimelie hungrie, or take One's Appetite away, as the Cafe might be. Mr. Milton mewed me the noble Minfter, with King Harry Seventh's Chapel adjoining ; and pointed out the old Houfe where Ben yonfon died. Neare the Broade Sanffuarie, we fell in with a flighte, dark-complexioned young Gentle- man of two or three and twenty, whome my Hufband efpying cryed, " What, Marae/fJ" the other comi- cally anfwering, "What Marvel?" and then, handfomlie faluting me and complimenting Mr. Milton, much lighte and pleafant Difcourfe enfued ; and finding we were aboute to take Boat, 74 1 643- Friday. Maiden & Married Life Boat, he volunteered to goe with us on the River. After manie Hours' Exercife, I have come Home fa- tigued, yet well pleafed. Mr. Mar- ve// fups with us. I wiih I could note down a Tithe of the pleafant Things that were fayd lafl Nighte. Firft, olde Mr. Milton having ftept out with his Son, I called in Rachael, the younger of Mr. RuJJelTs Serving-maids, (for we have none of our owne as yet, which tends to much Difcomfiture,) and, with her Aide, I dufted the Bookes and fett them up in half the Space they had occupied ; then cleared away three large Bafketfuls of the abfoluteft Rubbifh, torn Letters and the like, and fent out for Flowers, (which it feemeth ftrange enoughe to me to buy?) which gave the Chamber a gayer Aire, and foe my Hufhand of Mary Powell. 75 Hufband fayd when he came in, calling me the fayreft of them alle ; and then, fitting down with Gayety to the Organ, drew forthe from it heavenlie Sounds. Afterwards Mr. Mar veil came in, and they difcourfed about Italy, and Mr. Milton promifed his Friend fome Letters of Intro- duction to yacopo Gaddi, C lenient illo, and others. After Supper, they wrote Sen- tences, Definitions, and the like, after a Fafhion of Catherine de Me- dici, fome of which I have layd afide for Rofe. To-day we have feene St. Paul's faire Cathedral, and the School where Mr. Milton was a Scholar when a Boy ; thence, to the Fields of Fin/bury ; where are Trees and Windmills enow : a Place much frequented for prac- tifing 7 6 Maiden & Married Life 1643- tifmg Archery and other manlie Exercifes. Saturday. Tho' we rife betimes, olde Mr. Milton is earlier ftille ; and I always find him fitting at his Table befide the Window (by Reafon of the Chamber being foe dark,) forting I know not how manie Bundles of Papers tied with red Tape ; cache fo like the other that I marvel how he knows them aparte. This Morn- ing, I found the poore old Gentle- man in fad Diftrefs at mifling a Manufcript Song of Mr. Henry Lawes't the onlie Copy extant, which he perfuaded himfelfe that I muft have fent down to the Kitchen Fire Yeflerday. I am convinced I difmift not a fingle Paper that was not torne cache Way, as being ut- terlie ufeleffe ; but as the unluckie Song cannot be founde, he fighs and m of Mary Powell. and is certayn of my Delinquence, as is Hubert, his owne Man ; or, as he more frequentlie calls him, his " odd Man ; " and an odd Man indeede is Mr. Hubert, readie to addrefs his Mailer or Mafter's Sonne on the mereft Occafion, without waiting to be fpoken to ; tho' he expec~leth Others to treat them with far more Deference than he himfelf payeth. Dead tired, this Daye, with fo much Exercife ; but woulde not fay foe, becaufe my Hufband was thinking to pleafe me by mew- ing me foe much. Spiritts flagging however. Thefe London Streets wearie my Feet. We have been over the Houfe in Alderfgate Street, the Garden whereof difappointed me, having hearde foe much of it; but 'tis far better than none, and the Houfe is large enough for 77 1643. 1643. Sunday Even. Maiden & Married Life for Mr. Milton s Familie and my Father's to boote. Thought how pleafant 'twould be to have them alle aboute me next ChriftmaJ/e ; but that holie Time is noe longer kept with Joyfullneffe in London. Ventured, therefore, to exprefTe a Hope, we mighte fpend it at For eft Hill; but Mr. Milton fayd 'twas unlikelie he mould be able to leave Home ; and afkt, would I go alone? Conftrained, for Shame, to fay no ; but felt, in my Heart, I woulde jump to fee For eft Hill on anie Terms, I foe love alle that dwell there. Private and publick Prayer, Ser- mons, and Pfalm-finging from Morn until Nighte. The onlie Break hath been a Vifit to a quaint but pleafing Lady, by Name Catherine Thompfon, whome my Hufband holds in great Reverence. of Mary Powell. 79 Reverence. She faid manie Things l6 43- worthy to be remembered ; onlie as I remember them, I need not to write them down. Sorrie to be caughte napping by my Huf- band, in the Midft of the third long Sermon. This comes of over- walking, and of being unable to deep o' Nights ; for whether it be the London Ayre, or the Lon- don Methods of making the Beds, or the flrange Noifes in the Streets, I know not, but I have fcarce beene able to clofe my Eyes before Daybreak lince I came to Town. And now beginneth a new Life ; Monday. for my Hufband's Pupils, who were difmifl for a Time for my Sake, returne to theire Tafks this Daye, and olde Mr. Milton giveth Place to his two Grandfons, his widowed Daughter's 1643. Maiden & Married Life Daughter's Children, Edward and Jo/in Phillips, whom my Huflband led in to me juft now. Two plainer Boys I never fett Eyes on ; the one weak-eyed and puny, the other prim and puritanicall no more to be compared to our fweet Robin ! * * * After a few Words, they retired to theire Books ; and my Hufband, taking my Hand, fayd in his kind- Heft Manner, " And now I leave " my fweete Moll to the pleafant " Companie of her own goode and " innocent Thoughtes ; and, if me " needs more, here are both ftringed " and keyed Inftruments, and Books " both of the older and modern " Time, foe that me will not find " the Hours hang heavie." Me- thoughte how much more I mould like a Ride upon Clover than all the Books that ever were penned ; for the Door no fooner clofed upon Mr. of Mary Powell. Mr. Milton than it feemed as tho' he had taken alle the Sunmine with him ; and I fell to cleaning the Cafement that I mighte look out the better into the Churchyarde, and then altered Tables and Chairs, and then fate downe with my El- bows refting on the Window-feat, and my Chin on the Palms of my Hands, gazing on I knew not what, and feeling like a Butterflie under a Wine-glafs. I marvelled why it feemed foe long iince I was married, and won- dered what they were doing at Home, coulde fancy I hearde Mo- ther chiding, and faw Charlie Healing into the Dairie and dipping his Fin- ger in the Cream, and Kate feeding the Chickens, and Dick taking a Stone out of Whiteftar's Shoe. Methought how dull it was to be paffing the beft Part of the G Summer 81 1643. 82 1643. Maiden & Married Life Summer out of the Reache of frefli Ayre and greene Fields, and won- dered, woulde alle my future Sum- mers be foe fpent ? Thoughte how dull it was to live in Lodgings, where one could not even go into the Kitchen to make a Pudding ; and how dull to live in a Town, without fome young female Friend with whom one might have ventured into the Streets, and where one could not foe much as feed Colts in a Paddock; how dull to be without a Garden, unable foe much as to gather a Handfulle of ripe Cherries ; and how dull to looke into a Church- yarde, where there was a Man digging a Grave ! When I wearied of {taring at the Grave-digger, I gazed at an olde Gentleman and a young Lady flowlie walking along, yet fcarce as if of Mary Powell. if I noted them ; and was thinking moftlie of Forefl Hill, when I faw them flop at our Doore, and pre- fently they were fhewn in, by the Name of Doctor and Miftrefs Da- vies. I fent for my Hufband, and entertayned 'em bothe as well as I could, till he appeared, and they were polite and pleafant to me ; the young Lady tall and {lender, of a cleare brown Skin, and with Eyes that were fine enough ; onlie there was a fuppreft Smile on her Lips alle the Time, as tho' me had feen me looking out of the Window. She tried me on all Subjects, I think; for fhe ftarted them more adroitlie than I ; and taking up a Book on the Window-feat, which was the Amadigi of Bernardo Ta/o, printed alle in Italiques, me fayd, if I loved Poetry, which me was fure I muft, me knew me moulde love me. I did 1643. 1643. Wednesday. Maiden & Married Life did not tell her whether or noe. Then we were both filent. Then Doctor Davies talked vehementlie to Mr. Milton agaynft the King; and Mr. Milton was not fo contrarie to him as I could have wifhed. Then Miftrefs Davies tooke the Word from her Father, and beganne to talke to Mr. Milton of Taffo, and Dante, and Boiardo, and Ariojlo; and then Doctor Davies and I were filent. Methoughte, they both talked well, tho' I knew fo little of their SubjecT:- matter ; onlie they complimented eache other too much. I mean not they were infincere, for eache feemed to think highlie of the other; onlie we neede not fay alle we feele. To conclude, we are to fup with them to-morrow. your nail, I have Nobodie now but you, to whome to tell my little Griefs ; of Mary Powell. Griefs ; indeede, before I married, 1643. I know not that I had anie ; and even now, they are very fmall, onlie they are foe new, that fometimes my Heart is like to burft. I know not whether 'tis fafe to put them alle on Paper, onlie it relieves for the Time, and it kills Time, and perhaps, a little While hence I may looke back and fee how fmall they were, and how they mighte have beene fhunned, or better borne. 'Tis worth the Triall. Yefterday Morn, for very Wea- rineffe, I looked alle over my Linen and Mr. Milton's, to fee could I finde anie Thing to mend ; but there was not a Stitch amifs. I woulde have played on the Spin- nette, but was afrayd he mould hear my indifferent Mufick. Then, as a laft Refource, I tooke a Book Paul Perrins Hiftorie of the Wal- denfes; 86 1643. Maiden & Married Life denfes ; and was, I believe, dozing a little, when I was aware of a continuall Whifpering and Crying. I thought 'twas fome Child in the Street ; and, having fome Comfits in my Pocket, I ftept foftlie out to the Houfe-door and lookt forth, but no Child could I fee. Coming back, the Door of my Hufband's Studdy being ajar, I was avifed to look in ; and faw him, with awfulle Brow, raifmg his Hand in the very Acl: to flrike the youngefl Phillips. I could never endure to fee a Child ftruck, foe haftilie cryed out, " Oh, don't!" whereon he rofe, and, as if not feeing me, gently clofed the Door, and, before I reached my Chamber, I hearde foe loud a Crying that I began to cry too. Soon, alle was quiet; and my Hufband, coming in, ftept gently up to me, and putting his Arm about my Neck, fayd, " My of Mary Powell. 87 " My deareft Life, never agayn, I I(5 43- " befeech you, interfere between " me and the Boys : 'tis as un- " feemlie as tho' I fhoulde interfere " between you and your Maids, " when you have any, and will " weaken my Hands, dear Moll, " more than you have anie Suf- " picion of." I replied, kiffing that fame of- fending Member as I fpoke, " Poor " "Jack would have beene glad, juft " now, if I had weakened them." " But that is not the Queflion," he returned, " for we mould alle be " glad to efcape neceiTary Punim- " ment ; whereas, it is the Power, " not the Penalty of our bad Habits, " that we fhoulde feek to be de- *' livered from." " There may," I fayd, " be neceflary, but need not " be corporal Punifhment." " That " is as may be," returned he, " and " hath 1643. Maiden & Married Life " hath alreadie been fettled by an " Authoritie to which I fubmit, and " hardlie think you will difpute, " and that is, the Word of God. " Pain of Body is in Realitie, or " ought to be, fooner over and more " fafelie borne than Pain of an in- " genuous Mind ; and, as to the " Shame, why, as Lorenzo de* Me- " did fayd to Soccini, ' The Shame " ' is in the Offence rather than in " ' the Punifhment.' " I replied, "Our Robin had never " beene beaten for his Studdies ; " to which he fayd with a Smile, that even I mufl admit Robin to be noe greate Scholar. And fo in good Humour left me ; but I was in no good Humour, and hoped Heaven might never make me the Mother of a Son, for if I mould fee Mr. Milton ftrike him, I fhould learn to hate the Father. Learning of Mary Powell. Learning there was like to be Companie at Doctor Dailies', I was avifed to put on my brave greene Satin Gown; and my Hufband fayd it became me well, and that I onlie needed fome Primrofes and Cowflips in my Lap, to look like May; and fornewhat he added about mine Eyes' " clear mining after Rain," which avifed me he had perceived I had beene crying in the Morning, which I had hoped he had not. Arriving at the Doctor's Houfe, we were fhewn into an emptie Chamber; at leaft, emptie of Com- panie, but full of every Thing elfe; for there were Books, and Globes, and flringed and wind Inftruments, and fluffed Birds and Beafts, and Things I know not foe much as the Names of, befides an Eafel with a Painting by Mrs. Mildred on it, which me meant to be feene, or fhe woulde i6 43 . 9 o 1643. Maiden & Married Life woulde have put it away. Sub- ject, " Brutus' s Judgment:" which I thought a ftrange, unfeeling one for a Woman ; and did not wim to be her Son. Soone (he came in, dreft with ftuddied and puritan- icall Plainnefle; in brown Taffeta, guarded with black Velvet, which became her well enough, but was fcarce fuited for the Seafon. She had much to fay about limning, in which my Hufband could follow her better than I; and then they went to the Globes, and Copernicus, and Galileo Galilei, whom fhe called a Martyr, but I do not. For, is a Martyr one who is unwillinglie im- prifoned, or who formally recants ? even tho' he affected afterwards to fay 'twas but a Form, and cries, " Eppure, Ji muove ? " The earlier Chriflians might have fayd 'twas but a Form to burn a Handfull of Incenfe 0/*Mary Powell. Incenfe before Jove's Statua ; Pliny woulde have let them goe. Afterwards, when the Do<5tor came in and engaged my Hufband in Difcourfe, Miftrefs Mildred de- voted herfelfe to me, and afkt what Progrefle I had made with Bernardo Taffo. I tolde her, none at alle, for I was equallie faultie at Italiques and Italian, and onlie knew his beft Work thro' Mr. Fairfax's Tranf- lation; whereat me fell laughing, and fayd ihe begged my Forgive- nefle, but I was confounding the Father with the Sonne; then laught agayn, but pretended 'twas not at me but at a Lady I minded her of, who never coulde remember to dif- tinguifh betwixt Lionardo da Vinci and Lorenzo dei Medici. That la ft Name brought up the Recollection of my Morning's Debate with my Hufband, which made me feel fad; and 9 1 1643. 9 2 i6 43 . Maiden & Married Life and then, Mrs. Mildred, feeminge anxious to make me forget her Unmannerlinefs, commenced, " Can " you paint?" " Can you fing?" " Can you play the Lute ? " and, at the laft, " What can you do ? " I mighte have fayd I coulde comb out my Curls fmoother than me coulde hers, but did not. Other Guefts came in, and talked fo much agaynft Prelacy and the Right divine of Kings that I woulde fain we had remained at Aflronomie and Poetry. For Supper there was little Meat, and noe flrong Drinks, onlie a thinnifh foreign Wine, with Cakes, Candies, Sweetmeats, Fruits, and Confections. Such, I fuppofe, is Town Fafhion. At the lafte, came Mufick ; Miftrefs Mildred fang and played; then preft me to do the like, but I was foe fearfulle, I coulde not; fo my Hufband fayd he of Mary Powell. he woulde play for me, and that woulde be alle one, and foe covered my Bafhfulleneffe handfomlie. Onlie this Morning, juft before going to his Studdy, he ftept back and fayd, " Sweet Moll y I know you " can both play and fing why will "you not praclife?" I reply ed, I loved it not much. He rejoyned, " But you know I love it, and is "not that a Motive?" I fayd, I feared to let him hear me, I played fo ill. He replyed, " Why, that is " the very Reafon you fhoulde feek " to play better, and I am fure you " have Plenty of Time. Perhaps, " in your whole future Life, you " will not have fuch a Seafon " of Leifure as you have now, " a golden Opportunity, which you " will furelie feize." Then added, " Sir 'Thomas Mores Wife learnt to " play the Lute, folely that me " mighte 93 1643. 94 1643. Maiden & Married Life " mighte pleafe her Hufband." I anfwered, " Nay, what Need to tell " me of Sir 'Thomas More 's Wife, or " of Hugh Grotiuss Wife, when I "was the Wife of John Milton?" He looked at me twice, and quick- lie, too, at this Saying; then laugh- ing, cried, " You cleaving Mifchief ! " I hardlie know whether to take " that Speech amifTe or well how- " ever, you mall have the Benefit of " the Doubt." And fo away laughing; and I, for very Shame, fat down to the Spinnette for two wearie Hours, till foe tired, I coulde cry; and when I deiifted, coulde hear Jack wailing over his Tafk. 'Tis raining fail, I cannot get out, nor mould I dare to go alone, nor where to go to if 'twere fine. I fancy ill Smells from the Churchyard 'tis long to Dinner-time, with noe Change, noe Exercife; of Mary Powell. 95 Exercife ; and oh, I figh for Forejl 1643- Hill. A dull Dinner with Mrs. Phil- lips, whom I like not much. Chrif- topher Milton there, who flared hard at me, and put me out of Coun- tenance with his ftrange Queftions. My Hufband checked him. He is a Lawyer, and has Wit enoughe. Mrs. Phillips fpeaking of fecond Marriages, I unawares hurt her by giving my Voice agaynft them. It feems me is thinking of contracting a fecond Marriage. At Supper, wiming to ingra- tiate myfelf with the Boys, talked to them of Countrie Sports, etc. : to which the youngeft liftened greedilie : and at length I was avifed to afk them woulde they not like to fee Forejl Hill? to which the elder replyed in his mofh methodicall Manner, 9 6 1643. Friday. Maiden & Married Life Manner, " If Mr. Powell has a good " Library." For this Piece of Hy- pocrifie, at which I heartilie laught, he was commended by his Uncle. Hypocrifie it was, for Mafter Ned cryeth over his Tafkes pretty nearlie as oft as the youngeft. To rewarde my zealous Practice to-day on the Spinnette, Mr. Milton produced a Collection of " Ay res, and " Dialogues, for one, two, and three " Voices" by his Friend, Mr. Harry Lawes, which he fayd I fhoulde find very pleafant Studdy; and then he told me alle about theire getting up the Mafque of Comus in Ludlonv Caftle, and how well the Lady's Song was fung by Mr. Lawes' Pupil, the Lady Alice, then a fweet, modeft Girl, onlie thirteen Years of Age, and he told me of the Singing of a faire Italian young Signora, named Leonora of Mary Powell. Leonora Barroni, with her Mother and Sifter, whome he had hearde at Rome y at the Concerts of Cardinal Earberini; and how fhe was " as ' gentle and modeft as fweet Moll^ yet not afrayd to open her Mouth, and pronounce everie Syllable dif- tinclilie, and with the proper Em- phafis and PafTion when fhe fang. And after this, to my greate Con- tentment, he tooke me to the Gray's Inn Walks y where, the Af- ternoon being fine, was much Com- panie. After Supper, \ propofed to the Boys that we fhoulde tell Stories; and Mr. Milton tolde one charm- \ inglie, but then went away to write a Latin Letter. Soe Ned's Turn came next; and \ muft, if I can, for very Mirthe's Sake, write it down in his exact Words, they were foe pragmaticall. H "On 97 1643. 1643. Maiden & Married Life " On a Daye, there was a certain " Child wandered forthe, that would " play. He met a Bee, and fayd, "< Bee, wilt thou play with me?' " The Bee fayd, ' No, I have my " Duties to perform, tho' you, it " woulde feeme, have none. I " muft away to make Honey.' " Then the Childe, abafht, went " to the Ant. He fayd, ' Will you " play with me, Ant ? ' The Ant " replied, ' Nay, I muft provide " againft the Winter.' In fhorte, " he found that everie Bird, Beafte, " and Infed: he accofted, had a clofer " Eye to the Purpofe of their Cre- " ation than .himfelfe. Then he " fayd, ' I will then back, and con " my Tafk.' Moral. The Moral " of the foregoing Fable, my deare " Aunt, is this We muft love Work " better than Play." With alle my Intereft for Chil- dren, of Mary Powell. dren, how is it pomble to take anie Intereft in foe formall a little Prigge? I have juft done fomewhat for Mafler Ned which he coulde not doe for himfelfe viz. tenderly bound up his Hand, which he had badly cut. Wiping away fome few na- turall Tears, he muft needs fay, " I am quite afhamed, Aunt, you " fhoulde fee me cry; but the worfl " of it is, that alle this Payne has " beene for noe Good ; whereas, " when my Uncle beateth me for " mifconftruing my Latin y tho' I " cry at the Time, -all the While " I know it is for my Advantage." If this Boy goes on preaching foe, I mall foon hate him. Mr. Milton having ftepped out before Supper, came back looking foe blythe, that I afkt if he had hearde 99 i6 43 . Saturday. IOO 1643. Maiden & Married Life icarde good News. He fayd, yes: that fome Friends had long beene Derfuading him, againft his Will, to make publick fome of his Latin Poems ; and that, having at length confented to theire Wifhes, he had beene with Mo/ley the Publisher in Paul's Churchyard, who agreed to print them. I fayd, I was forrie I fhoulde be unable to read them. He fayd he was forry too ; he muft tranflate them for me. I thanked him, but obferved that Trad unions were never foe good as Originalls. He rejoyned, " Nor am I even a " good Tranflater." I afkt, "Why " not write in your owne Tongue?' He fayd, "Latin is underflood al! " over the Worlde." I fayd, " But " there are manie in your owne " Country do not underftand it.' He was filent foe long upon that that I fuppofed he did not mean to of Mary Powell. to anfwer me ; but then cried, "You are right, fweet Moll Our " beft Writers have written their " beft Works in Englijh, and I will " hereafter doe the fame, for I feel " that my beft Work is ftill to come. " Poetry hath hitherto been with " me rather the Recreation of a " Mind confcious of its Health, " than the deliberate Tafk-work of " a Soule that muft hereafter give " an Account of its Talents. Yet " my Mind, in the free Circuit of " her Muling, has ranged over a " thoufand Themes that lie, like " the Marble in the Qu_arry, readie " for anie Shape that Fancy and " Skill may give. Neither Lazinefs " nor Caprice makes me difficult in " my Choice ; for, the longer I am " in felecting my Tree, and laying " my Axe to the Root, the founder " it will be and the riper for Ufe. "Nor 101 1643. IO2 1643- Sunday Even. Maiden & Married Life " Nor is an Undertaking that mall " be one of high Duty, to be en- " tered upon without Prayer and "Difcipline: it woulde be Pre- " fumption indeede, to commence " an Enterprife which I meant " fhoulde delighte and profit every " inftrudted and elevated Mind with- " out fo much Paynes-takinge as it " mould coft a poor Mountebank to " balance a Pole on his Chin." In the Clouds agayn. At Dinner, to-daye, Mr. Milton catechifed the Boys on the Morning's Sermon, the Heads of which, though amounting to a Dozen, Ned tolde off roundlie. Roguifh little Jack looked flylie at me, fays, " Aunt coulde not tell off "the Sermon." "Why not? "fays his Uncle. " Becaufe me was fleep- " ing," fays Jack. Provoked with the Child, I turned fcarlett, and haftilie of Mary Powell. haftilie fayd, " I was not.'* No- bodie fpoke ; but I repented the Fal/itie the Moment it had efcaped me; and there was Ned, a folding of his Hands, drawing down his Mouth, and clofing his Eyes My Hufband tooke me to tafke for it when we were alone, foe tenderlie that I wept. yack fayd this Morning, " I know " Something I know Aunt keeps " a Journall." " And a good Thing " if you kept one, too, *Jack" fayd his Uncle, " it would mew you how " little you doe." Jack was filenced ; but Ned, purling up his Mouth, fays, " I can't think what Aunt can " have to put in a Journall mould " not you like, 'Uncle, to fee ? " " No, Ned," fays his Uncle, " I am " upon Honour, and your dear Aunt's " Journall is as fafe, for me, as the " golden 103 Monday. 104 Maiden & Married Life 1643. " golden Bracelets that King Alfred " hung upon the High-way. I am " glad (he has fuch a Refource, and, " as we know fhe cannot have much " News to put in it, we may the " more fafely rely that it is a Trea- " fury of fweet, and high, and holy, " and profitable Thoughtes." Oh, how deeplie I blumt at this ill-deferved Prayfe! How forrie I was that I had ever regiftered aught that he woulde grieve to read ! I fecretly refolved that this Daye's Journalling mould be the laft, untill I had attained a better Frame of Mind. Saturday I have kept Silence, yea, even from good Words, but it has beene a Payn and Griefe unto me. Good Miftrefs Catherine Thompfon called on me a few Dayes back, and fpoke fo wifely and fo wholefomelie con- cerning of Mary Powell. cerning my Lot, and the Way to make it happy, (me is the firft that hath fpoken as if 'twere pomble it mighte not be foe alreadie,) that I felt for a Seafon quite heartened ; but it has alle faded away. Becaufe the Source of CheerfulnerTe is not in me, anie more than in a dull Land- fkip, which the Sun lighteneth for awhile, and when he has fet, its Beauty is gone. Oh me ! how merry I was at Home ! The Source of Cheerful- nefle feemed in me then, and why is it not now ? Partly becaufe alle that I was there taught to think right is here thought wrong ; becaufe much that I there thought harmleiTe is here thought finfulle ; becaufe I cannot get at anie of the Things that employed and interefted me there, and becaufe the Things within my Reach here do not intereft me. Then, 105 1643. io6 1643. Maiden & Married Life Then, 'tis no fmall Thing to be continuallie deemed ignorant and mifinformed, and to have one's Errors continuallie covered, however handfomelie, even before Children. To fay Nothing of the Weight upon the Spiritts at firfte, from Change of Ayre, and Diet, and Scene, and Lofs of habituall Exercife and Com- panie and houfeholde Cares. Thefe petty Griefs try me forelie ; and when Coulin Ralph came in unex- pectedlie this Morn, tho' I never much cared for him at Home, yet the Sighte of Rofe's Brother, frefh from Sheepfcote and Oxford and Fore/I Hill t foe upfet me that I fank into Tears. No Wonder that Mr. Milton, then coming in, moulde haftilie enquire if Ralph had brought ill Tidings from Home ; and, finding alle was well there, moulde look ftrangelie. He afkt Ralph y however, to of Mary Powell. to ftay to Dinner; and we had much Talk of Home ; but now, I regret having omitted to afk a thoufand Queftions. Mr. Milton in his Clofet and I in my Chamber. For the firft Time he feems this Evening to have founde out how diffimilar are our Minds. Meaning to pleafe him, I fayd, " I " kept awake bravelie, to-nighte, " through that long, long Sermon, " for your Sake." " And why not " for God's Sake ? " cried he, " why " not for your owne Sake ? Oh, " fweet Wife, I fear you have yet " much to learn of the Depth of " HappinefTe that is comprifed in " the Communion between a for- " given Soul and its Creator. It " hallows the moft fecular as well " as the mofl fpirituall Employ- " ments ; it gives Pleafure that has "no 107 1643. Sunday Even. Aug. 15. io8 1643. Maiden & Married Life " no after Bitternefle ; it gives Plea- " fure to God and oh ! thinke of " the Depth of Meaning in thofe " Words ! think what it is for us " to be capable of giving God Plea- "fure!" J Much more, in the fame Vein ! to which I could not, with equal Power, refpond ; foe, he away to his Studdy, to pray perhaps for my Change of Heart, and I to my Bed. Aug. i, Oh Heaven! can it be poffible ? am I agayn at Foreji Hill? How ftrange, how joyfulle an Event, tho' brought about with Teares ! Can it be, that it is onlie a Month fince I floode at this Toilette as a Bride ? and lay awake on that Bed, thinking of London? How long a Month! and oh ! this prefent one will be alle too fhort. It of Mary Powell. It feemeth that Ralph Hewlett, mocked at my Teares and the Alter- ation in my Looks, broughte back a difmall Report of me to deare Father and Mother, pronouncing me either ill or unhappie. Thereupon, Richard, with his ufuall Impe- tuofitie, prevayled on Father to let him and Ralph fetch me Home for a While, at leafte till after Michael- majfe. How furprifed was I to fee Dick enter ! My Arms were foe fafl about his Neck, and my Face preft foe clofe to his Shoulder, that I did not for a While perceive the grave Looke he had put on. At the laft, I was avifed to aik what broughte him foe unexpedledlie to London ; and then he hemmed and looked at Ralph, and Ralph looked at Dick, and then Dick fayd bluntly, he hoped Mr. Milton woulde fpare me to go Home 109 1643. I 10 1643. Maiden & Married Life Home till after Michaelmaffe, anc Father had fent him on Purpofe to fay foe. Mr. Milton lookt furprifec and hurte, and fayd, how could he be expected to part foe foone with me, a Month's Bride ? it mutt be fome other Time : he had intended to take me himfelfe to Foreft Hill the following Spring, but coulde not fpare Time now, nor liked me to goe without him, nor thought I mould like it myfelf. But my Eyes faid / Jhoulde, and then he gazed earneftlie at me and lookt hurt ; and there was a dead Silence. Then Dick, hefitating a little, fayd he was forrie to tell us my Father was ill ; on which I clafped my Hands and beganne to weepe ; and Mr. Milton, changing Countenance, fkt fundrie Queftions, which Dick anfwered well enough; and then aid he woulde not be foe cruel as to of Mary Powell. to keepe me from a Father I foe dearlie loved, if he were fick, though he liked not my travelling in fuch unfettled Times with fo young a Convoy. Ralph fayd they had brought Diggory with them, who was olde and fteddy enough, and had ridden my Mother's Mare for my Ufe ; and Dick was for our getting forward a Stage on our Journey the fame Evening, but Mr. Milton iniifhed on our abiding till the following Morn, and woulde not be overruled. And gave me leave to flay a Month, and gave me Money, and many kind Words, which I coulde mark little, being foe overtaken with Concern about dear Father, whofe Illnefs I feared to be worfe than Dick fayd, feeing he feemed foe clofe and dealt in dark Speeches and Parables. After Dinner, they went forth, they fayd, to in 1643. I 12 1643. Maiden & Married Life to look after the Horfes, but I think to fee London, and returned not till Supper. We got them Beds in a Houfe hard by, and darted at earlie Dawn. Mr. Milton kifled me moft ten- derlie agayn and agayn at parting, as though he feared to lofe me ; but it had feemed to me foe hard to brook the Delay of even a few Hours when Father, in his Sicknefle, was wanting me, that I took Leave of my Hufband with lefs Affection than I mighte have fhewn, and onlie began to find my Spiritts lighten when we were fairly quit of London, with its vile Sewers and Drains, and to breathe the fweete, pure Morning Ayre, as we rode fwiftlie along. Dick called London a vile Place, and fpake to Ralph concerning what they had feene of it overnighte, whence it appeared to me, that he had beene of Mary Powell. beene pleafure-feeking more than, in Father's State, he ought to have beene. But Dick was always a recklefs Lad ; and oh, what Joy, on reaching this deare Place, to find Father had onlie beene fufFering under one of his ufual Stomach Attacks, which have no Danger in them, and which Dick had exagger- ated, fearing Mr. Milton woulde not otherwife part with me ; I was a little mocked, and coulde not help fcolding him, though I was the Gainer; but he boldlie defended what he called his " Stratagem of " War," faying it was quite allow- able in dealing with a Puritan. As for Robin, he was wild with Joy when I arrived ; and hath never ceafed to hang about me. The other Children are riotous in their Mirth. Little Jofcelyn hath returned from his Fofter-mother's Farm, and is 1643. 1643. Monday. Maiden & Married Life is noe longer a puny Child 'tis thought he will thrive. I have him conftantly in my Arms or riding on my Shoulder ; and with Delight have revifited alle my olde Haunts, patted C/over, &c. Deare Mother is moft kind. The Maids as oft call me Mrs. Molly as Mrs. Milton, and then fmile, and beg Pardon. Rofe and Agnew have been here, and have made me promife to vifit Sheepfcote before I return to London. The whole Houfe feems full of Glee. It feemes quite ftrange to heare Dick and Harry imging loyal Songs and drinking the King's Health after foe recentlie hearing his M. foe continuallie fpoken agaynft. Alfo, to fee a Lad of Robin's Age, coming in and out at his Will, doing anie- thing or nothing ; inftead of being ever of Mary Powell. ever at his Tafkes, and looking at Meal-times as if he were repeating them to himfelfe. I know which I like heft. A moft kind Letter from Mr. Milton, hoping Father is better, and praying for News of him. How can I write to him without betraying Dick ? Robin and I rode, this Morning, to Sheepfcote. Thoughte Mr. Agnew received me with un- wonted Gravitie. He tolde me he had received a Letter from my Hufband, praying News of my Father, feeing I had fent him none, and that he had writ to him that Father was quite well, never had been better. Then he fayd to me he feared Mr. Milton was labouring under fome falfe Impreflion. I tolde him trulie, that Dick, to get me Home, had exaggerated a trifling Illnefs of Father s, but that I was guiltlefle 1643- u6 1643. Maiden & Married Life guiltlefle of it. He fayd Dick was inexcufable, and that noe good End coulde juftifie a Man of Honour in overcharging the Truth ; and that, fince I was innocent, I fhoulde write to my Hufband to clear myfelf. I faid briefly, I woulde ; and I mean to do foe, onlie not to-daye. Oh, fweet countrie Life ! I was made for you and none other. This riding and walking at one's owne free Will, in the frem pure Ayre, coming in to earlie, heartie, wholefome Meals, feafoned with harmlerTe Jefts, feeing frem Faces everie Daye come to the Houfe, knowing everie Face one meets out of Doores, fupping in the Garden, and remain- ing in the Ayre long after the Moon has rifen, talking, laughing, or per- haps dancing, if this be not Joy- fulnefle, what is ? For certain, I woulde that Mr. Milton of Mary Powell. Milton were here ; but he woulde call our Sports miftimed, and throw a Damp upon our Mirth by not joining in it. Soe I will enjoy my Holiday while it lafts, for it may be long ere I get another efpeciallie if his and Father s Opi- nions get wider afunder, as I think they are doing alreadie. My pro- mifed Spring Holiday may come to Nothing. My Hufband hath writ to me ftrangelie, chiding me mofl unkindlie for what was noe Fault of mine, to wit, Dick's Falfitie ; and wondering I can derive anie Pleafure from a Holiday fo obtayned, which he will not curtayl, but will on noe Pretence extend. Nay ! but methinks Mr. Milton prefumeth fomewhat too much on his marital Authoritie, writing in this Strayn. I am no mere 117 1643. Monday. n8 1643. Maiden & Married Life mere Child neither, nor a runaway Wife, nor in fuch bad Companie, in mine own Father's Houfe, where he firfte faw me ; and, was it anie Fault of mine, indeed, that Father was not ill ? or can I wim he had beene ? No, truly ! This Letter hath forelie vexed me. Dear Father, feeing me foe dulle, afkt me if I had had bad News. I fayd I had, for that Mr. Milton wanted me back at the Month's End. He fayd, lightlie, Oh, that muft not be, I muft at all Events flay over his Birthdaye, he could not fpare me fooner ; he woulde fettle all that. Let it be foe then I am content enoughe. To change the Current of my Thoughts, he hath renewed the Scheme for our Vifit to Lady Falk- land, which, Weather permitting, is to take Place to-morrow. 'Tis long of Mary Powell. i 19 long fince I have feene her, foe I 1643. am willing to goe ; but fhe is dearer to Rofe than to me, though I refpect her much. The whole of Yefterday occupyde Wednesday. with our Vifit. I love Lady Falk- land well, yet her religious Mellan- , chollie and Prefages of Evil have left a Weight upon my Spiritts. To-daye, we have a Family Dinner. The Agneiiis come not, but the Merediths doe: we mall have more Mirthe if lefs Wit. My Time now draweth foe fhort, I mufl crowd into it alle the Pleafure I can ; and in this, everie one confpires to help me, faying, " Poor Moll mufl foon " return to London" Never was Creature foe petted or fpoylt. How was it there was none of this before I married, when they might have me alwaies ? ah, therein lies the Secret. 120 1643. Sept. 21. Maiden & Married Life Secret. Now, we have mutuallie tafted our LofTe. Ralph Hewlett, going agayn to Town, was avifed to afk whether I had anie Commiffion wherewith to charge him. I bade him tell Mr. Milton that fince we mould meet foe foone, I need not write, but would keep alle my News for our Fire-fide. Robin added, " Say, " we cannot fpare her yet," and I Father echoed the fame. But I begin to feel now, that I muft not prolong my Stay. At the leafte, not beyond Father s Birthday. My Month is hafting to a Clofe. Battle at Newbury Lord Falk- land flayn . O h , fatal Lofs ! Father and Mother going off to my Lady : but I think me will not fee them. Aunt and Uncle Hewlett, who brought the News, can talk of Nothing elfe. Alle of Mary Powell. 121 Alle SadnefTe and Confternation. I am wearie of bad News, public and private, and feel lefs and lefs Love for the Puritans, yet am forced to feem more loyal than I really am, foe high runs party Feeling juft now at Home. My Month has parTed ! A moft difpleafed Letter from Sept. 28. my Hufband, minding me that my Leave of Abfence hath expired, and that he likes not the Meflages he received through Ralph, nor the unreafonable and hurtfulle Paf- times which he finds have beene making my quiet Home diftafte- fulle. Afking, are they fuitable, under Circumftances of nationall Confternation to my owne Party, or feemlie in foe young a Wife, apart from her Hufband ? To conclude, infifting, with more Authoritie than KindneiTe, 1 2 2 Maiden & Married Life l6 43- Kindnefle, on my immediate Re- turn. With Tears in my Eyes, I have beene to my Father. I have tolde him I muft goe. He fayth, Oh no, not yet. I perfifted, I muft, my Hufband was foe very angry. He rejoined, What, angry with my fweet Moll? and for fpending a few Days with her old Father ? Can it be ? hath it come to this alreadie ? I fayd, my Month had expired. He fayd, Nonfenfe, he had always afkt me to ftay over Michaelmaffe, till his Birthday; he knew Dick had named it to Mr. Milton. I fayd, Mr. Milton had taken no Notice thereof, but had onlie granted me a Month. He grew peevifh, and faid, " Pooh, " pooh ! " Thereat, after a Silence of a Minute or two, I fayd yet agayn, I muft goe. He took me by the two Wrifts and fayd, Doe you wim to of Mary Powell. to go ? I burft into Teares, but made noe Anfwer. He fayd, That is Anfwer enough, how doth this Puritan carry it with you, my Child? and fnatched his Letter. I fayd, Oh, don't read that, and would have drawn it back; but Father, when heated, is impoffible to controwl ; therefore, quite deaf to Entreaty, he would read the Letter, which was unfit for him in his chafed Mood ; then, holding it at Arm's Length, and fmiting it with his Fift, Ha ! and is it thus he dares addrefs a Daughter of mine ? (with Words added, I dare not write) but be quiet, Molly be at Peace, my Child, for he mall not have you back for awhile, even though he come to fetch you himfelf. The maddeft Thing I ever did was to give you to this Roundhead. He and Roger Agneiv talked me over with foe many fine 123 1643. 12 4 1643. Maiden & Married Life fine Words. What poflefled me, I know not. Your Mother always faid Evil woulde come of it. But as long as thy Father has a Roof over his Head, Child, thou haft a Home. As foone as he woulde hear me, I begged him not to take on foe, for that I was not an unhappy Wife ; but my Tears, he fayd, belied me ; and indeed, with Fear and Agitation, they flowed faft enough. But I fayd, I miift goe home, and wifhed I had gone fooner, and woulde he let Diggory take me ! No, he fayd, not a Man Jack on his Land fhoulde faddle a Horfe for me, nor would he lend me one, to carry me back to Mr. Milton ; at the leafte not for a While, till he had come to Reafon, and protefted he was forry for having writ to me foe harmly. " Soe be content, Moll, and make " not two Enemies, inftead of one. " Goe, of Mary Powell. " Goe, help thy Mother with her " clear- ftarching. Be happy whilfl " thou art here." But ah! more eafily faid than done. " Alle Joy is darkened; the " Mirthe of the Land is gone!" At Squire Pake's grand Dinner we have been counting on foe many Days; but it gave me not the Plea- fure expected. The Weather is foe foul that I am fure Mr. Milton woulde not like me to be on the Road, even would my Father let me goe. While writing the above, heard very angrie Voices in the Court- yard, my Father's efpeciallie, louder than common; and diftinguifhed the Words "Knave," and "Varlet," and " begone." Lookt from my Window and beheld a Man, booted and 125 1643. Michael- masse Day. Oct. 13. 126 Maiden & Married Life 1643- and cloaked, with two Horfes, at the Gate, parleying with my Father, who flood in an offeniive Attitude, and woulde not let him in. I could catch fuch Fragments as, "But, "Sir?" "What! in fuch Weather " as this?" " Nay, it had not over- " cart when I ftarted." "'Tis foul "enough now, then." "Let me " but have fpeech of my Miflrefs." " You crofTe not my Threfhold." " Nay, Sir, if but to give her this "Letter:" and turning his Head, I was avifed of its being Hubert, old Mr. Milton s Man; doubtlefs fent by my Hufband to fetch me. Seeing my Father raife his Hand in angrie Action (his Riding-whip being in it), I hafled down as fail as I coulde, to prevent Mifchiefe, as well as to get my Letter; but, unhappilie, not foe fleetlie as to fee more than Hubert's flying Skirts as he gallopped from of Mary Powell. from the Gate, with the led Horfe by the Bridle; while my Father, flinging downe the torne Letter, walked paffionatelie away. I clafped my Hands, and flood mazed for a While, was then avifed to piece the Letter, but could not; onlie making out fuch Words as "Sweet " Moll" in my Hufband's Writing. Rofe came this Morning, through Rain and Mire, at fome Rifk as well as much Inconvenience, to intreat of me, even with Teares, not to vex Mr. Milton by anie farther Delays, but to return to him as foon as pof- lible. Kind Soule, her Affection toucht me, and I allured her the more readilie I intended to return Home as foone as I coulde, which was not yet, my Father having taken the Matter into his own Hands, and permitting me noe Efcort ; 127 1643. Oct. 14, 128 1643. Oct. 23. Maiden & Married Life Efcort; but that I queftioned not, Mr. Milton was onlie awaiting the Weather to fettle, to fetch me him- felf. That he will doe fo, is my firm Perfuafion. Meanwhile, I make it my Duty to joyn with fome Attempt at CheerfullenelTe in the Amufements of others, to make my Father's Confinement to the Houfe lefs irkfome ; and have in fome Meafure fucceeded. Noe Sighte nor Tidings of Mr. Milton. I am uneaiie, frighted at myfelf, and wifh I had never left him, yet hurte at the Neglect. Hubert, being a crabbed Temper, made Mifchief on his Return, I fancy. Father is vexed, methinks, at his owne Paffion, and hath never, direcllie, fpoken, in my Hear- inge, of what pafTed; but rayleth continuallie agaynft Rebels and Roundheads. of Mary Powell. Roundheads. As to Mother, ah me! Thro' dank and miry Lanes and Bye-roads with Robin, to Sheepfcote. Waiting for Rofe in Mr. Agnews fmall Studdy, where me moftlie fitteth with him, oft acting as his Amanuenfis, was avifed to take up a printed Sheet of Paper that lay on the Table; but finding it to be of Latin Verfing, was about to laye it downe agayn, when Rofe came in. She changed Colour, and in a falter- ing Voice fayd, "Ah, Coujin, do "you know what that is? One of " your Hufband's Proofe Sheets. I " woulde that it coulde intereft you " in like Manner as it hath me." Made her noe Anfwer, laying it afide unconcernedlie, but fecretlie felt, as I have oft done before, how ftupid it is not to know Latin, and refolved v: tO 129 1643. Oct. 24. 130 1643. Oct. 28. Oct. 31. Maiden & Married Life to get Robin to teach me. He is no greate Scholar himfelfe, foe will not fhame me. I am wearie of hearing of War and Politicks ; foe will try Studdy for a While, and fee if 'twill cure this dull Payn at my Heart. Robin and I have fhut ourfelves up for three Hours dailie, in the fmall Book-room, and have made fay re Progreffe. He liketh his Office of Tutor mightilie. My Leflbns are more crabbed, or I am more dull and inattentive, for I cannot fix my Minde on my Book, and am fecretlie wearie. Robin wearies too. But I will not give up as yet ; the more foe as in this quiete Studdy I am out of Sighte and Hearinge of fundrie young Officers Dick is continuallie bringing over from Oxford, who fpend manie Hours of Mary Powell. Hours with him in Countrie Sports, and then come into the Houfe, hun- gry, thirftie, noifie, and idle. I know Mr. Milton woulde not like them. Surelie he will come foone ? I fayd to Father laft Night, I wanted to hear from Home. He fayd, "Home! Don: call yon Taylor's " Shop your Home ? " foe ironicalle that I was mamed to fay more. Woulde that I had never married ! then coulde I enjoy my Child- hoode's Home. Yet I knew not its Value before I quitted it, and had even a ftupid Pleafure in anticipating another. Ah me! had I loved Mr. Milton more, perhaps I might better have endured the Taylor's Shop. Sheepfcote, Nov. 20. Annoyed by Dick's Companions, I prayed Father to let me flay awhile with Rofe ; and gaining his Confent, came 1643. Nov. 20. 1643. Maiden & Married Life came over here Yefter-morn, with- out thinking it needfulle to fend Notice, which was perhaps incon- fiderate. But fhe received me with Kiffes and Words of Tenderneffe, though lefs Smiling than ufualle, and eagerlie accepted mine offered Vifitt. Then fhe ran off to find Roger, and I heard them talking earneftlie in a low Voice before they came in. His Face was grave, even ftern, when he entred, but he held out his Hand, and fayd, " Miftrefs " Milton, you are welcome ! how is " it with you ? and how was Mr. " Milton when he wrote to you "laft?" I anfwered brieflie, he was well: then came a Silence, and then Rofe took me to my Chamber, which was fweet with Lavender, and its Hangings of the whiteft. It reminded me too much of my firft Week of Marriage, foe I refolved to think not of Mary Powell. not at all left I fhoulde be bad Companie, but cheer up and be gay. Soe I afkt Rofe a thoufand Queftions about her Dairie and Bees, laught much at Dinner, and told Mr. Agnevo fundrie of the merrie Sayings of Dick and his Oxford Friends. And, for my Reward, when we were afterwards apart, I heard him tell Rofe (by Reafon of the Walls being thin) that however me might regard me for old Affection's Sake, he thought he had never knowne foe unpromifing a Character. This made me dulle enoughe all the reft of the Evening, and repent having come to Sheepjcote: however, he liked me the better for being quiete : and Rofe, being equallie chekt, we fewed in Silence while he read to us the firft Divifion of Spencer's Legend of HolineJJe, about Una and the Knight, and how they got fun- dered 1643. '34 1643. Maiden & Married Life dered. This led to much ferious, yet not unpleafing, Difcourfe, which lafted till Supper. For the firft Time at Sheepfcote, I coulde not eat, which Mr. Agnew obferving, preft me to take Wine, and Rofe woulde ftart up to fetch fome of her Pre- ferves; but I chekt her with a Motion, not being quite able to fpeak; for their being foe kind made the Teares ready to flarte, I knew not wly. Family Prayers, after Supper, rather too long; yet though I coulde not keep up my Attention, they feemed to fpread a Calm and a Peace alle about, that extended even to me; and though, after I had undreffed, I fat a long While in a Maze, and bethought me how pi- teous a Creature I was, yet, once layed down, I never fank into deeper, more compofing Sleep. This of Mary Powell. This Morning, Rofe exclaimed, "Dear Roger! onlie think! Moll " has begun to learn Latin fince me " returned to Foreft Hill, thinking " to furprife Mr. Milton when they " meet/' " She will not onlie fur- " prife, but pleafe him," returned dear Roger, taking my Hand very kindlie; "I can onlie fay, I hope " they will meet long before me " can read his Poemata, unlefs me " learnes much fafter than moil " People." I replied, I learned very flowly, and wearied Robin's Patience; on which Rofe, kiffing me, cried, " You will never wearie mine; foe, if you pleafe, deare Moll, we will goe to our Leilbns here everie Morning, and it may " be that I mail get you through the Grammar fatter than Robin can. If we come to anie Diffi- " cultie we mail refer it to Roger." Now, 1643. Nov. 21. 136 1643- Maiden & Married Life Now, Mr. Agnew's Looks expreft fuch Pleafure with both, that it were difficult to tell which felt the moft elated; foe calling me deare Moll (he hath hitherto Miftrefs Miltoned me ever fince I fett Foot in his Houfe), he fayed he would not interrupt our Studdies, though he mould be within Call, and foe left us. I had not felt foe happy fince Father's Birthday ; and, though Rofe kept me clofe to my Book for two Hours, I found her a far lefs irkfome Tutor than deare Robin. Then me went away, finging, to make Roger's favourite Dim, and afterwards we tooke a brifk Walke, and came Home hungrie enoughe to Dinner. There is a daily Beauty in Rofe's Life, that I not onlie admire, but am readie to envy. Oh! if Milton lived but in the pooreft Houfe in the of Mary Powell. 137 the Countrie, methinks I coulde be 1643. very happy with him. Chancing to make the above Bedtime. Remark to Rofe, me cried, " And " why not be happy with him in " Alderfgate Street?" I briefly re- plied that he muil get the Houfe firft, before it were poffible to tell whether I coulde be happy there or not. Rofe flared, and exclaimed, " Why, where do you fuppofe him "to be now?" "Where but at " the Taylor's in Bride's Church- "yard?" I replied. She clafpt her Hands with a Look I mail never forget, and exclaimed in a Sort of vehement Paffion, " Oh, Coufin, " Coujin, how you throw your own " HappinefTe away ! How awfulle " a Paufe muft have taken place in " your Intercourfe with the Man " whom you promifed to abide by " till 138 Maiden & Married Life 1643. " till Death, iince you know not " that he has long fince taken Pof- " feffion of his new Home ; that he " ftrove to have it ready for you at " Michaelma/e!" Doubtleffe I lookt noe lefs fur- prifed than I felt ; a fuddain Prick at the Heart prevented Speech ; but it mot acrofle my Heart that I had made out the Words " Alderf- " gafe" and "new Home," in the Fragments of the Letter my Father had torn. Rofe, mifjudging my Silence, burft forth anew with, " Oh, " Coufin! Coujin! coulde anie Home, " however dull and noifefome, drive "me from Roger Agnewf Onlie " think of what you are doing, of " what you are leaving undone ! " of what you are preparing againft "yourfelf! To put the Wicked- " neffe of a felfifh Courfe out of the " Account, onlie think of its Mellan- " cholie, of Mary Powell. " cholie, its Miferie, defKtute of " alle the fweet, bright, freih Well- " fprings of HappinerTe ; unbleft "by God!" Here Rofe wept paffionatelie, and clafpt her Arms about me ; but, when I began to fpeak, and to tell her of much that had made me miferable, me hearkened in motion- leffe Silence, till I told her that Father had torn the Letter and beaten the MelTenger. Then me cried, " Oh, I fee now what may and mall " be done ! Roger mall be Peace- " maker," and ran off with Joyful- nefle ; I not withholding her. But I can never be joyfulle more he cannot be Day's-man betwixt us now 'tis alle too late ! Now that I am at Fore/I Hill agayn, I will eflay to continue my Journalling. Mr. 1643. Nov. 28. 140 1643. Maiden & Married Life Mr. Agnew was out ; and though a keene wintry Wind was blowing, and Rofe was fuffering from Colde, yet me went out to liften for his Horfe's Feet at the Gate, with onlie her Apron cart over her Head. Shortlie, he returned ; and I heard him fay in a troubled Voice, " Alle " are in Arms at For eft Hill" I felt foe greatlie mocked as to neede to fit downe inftead of running forthe to learn the News. I fuppofed the parliamentarian Soldiers had ad- vanced, unexpectedlie, upon Oxford. His next Words were, " Dick is " coming for her at Noone poor " Soul, I know not what fhe will " doe her Father will truft her " noe longer with you and me." Then I faw them both paife the Window, flowlie pacing together, and battened forth to joyn them ; but they had turned into the pleached Alley, of Mary Powell. 141 Alley, their Backs towards me; and 1643. both in fuch earneft and apparentlie private Communication, that I dared not interrupt them till they turned aboute, which was not for fome While ; for they flood for fome Time at the Head of the Alley, ftill with theire Backs to me, Rofes Hair blowing in the cold Wind ; and once or twice me feemed to put her Kerchief to her Eyes. Now, while I flood mazed and uncertain, I hearde a diflant Clatter of Horfe's Feet, on the hard Road a good Way off, and could defcrie Dick coming towards Sheepfcote. Rofe faw him too, and commenced running towards me; Mr. Agnew following with long Strides. Rofe drew me back into the Houfe, and fayd, kiffing me, " Dearefl Moll, I " am foe forry ; Roger hath feen " your Father this Morn, and he " will 142 Maiden & Married Life i6 43 . " will on no Account fpare you to " us anie longer ; and Dick is coming " to fetch you even now." I fayd, " Is Father ill?" "Oh no," replied "Mr.jUgnew; then coming up, "He " is not ill, but he is perturbed at " fome thing which has occurred; " and, in Truth, foe am I. But " remember, Miflrefs Milton, re- " member, dear Coujin y that when " you married, your Father s Guar- " dianfhip of you palTed into the " Hands of your Hufband your " Hufband's Houfe was thenceforthe "your Home; and in quitting it " you committed a Fault you may " yet repaire, though this ofFenfive " AcT: has made the Difficultie much "greater." "Oh, what has hap- "pened?" I impatientlie cried. Juft then, Dick comes in with his ufual blunt Salutations, and then cries, "Well, Moll, are you ready "to of Mary Powell. "to goe back?' 5 "Why fhould I "be?" I fayd, "when I am foe "happy here? unlefs Father is ill, " or Mr. Agnew and Rofe are tired " of me." They both interrupted, there was Nothing they foe much delired, at this prefent, as that I fhoulde prolong my Stay. And you know, Dick t I added, that Foreft Hill is not foe pleafant to me juft now as it hath commonlie beene, by Reafon of your Oxford Companions. He brieflie fayd, I neede not mind that, they were coming no more to the Houfe, Father had decreed it. And you know well enough, Mo//, that what Father decrees, muft be, and he hath decreed that you muft come Home now; foe no more Ado, I pray you, but fetch your Cloak and Hood, and the Horfes mail come round, for 'twill be late ere we reach Home, " Nay, you "muft 1643. 1 44 Maiden & Married Life 1643. " muft dine here at all Events," fayd Rofe ; "I know, Dick, you love " roaft Pork." Soe Dick relented. Soe Rofe, turning to me, prayed me to bid Cicely haften Dinner; the which I did, tho' thinking it ftrange Rofe mould not goe herfelf. But, as I returned, I hearde her fay, Not a Word of it, dear Dick, at the leaft, till after Dinner, left you fpoil her Appetite. Soe Dick fayd he fhoulde goe and look after the Horfes. I fayd then, brifklie, I fee fomewhat is the Matter pray tell me what it is. But Rofe looked quite dull, and walked to the Window. Then Mr. Agnew fayd, " You feem as difTa- " tisfied to leave us, Coujin, as we "are to lofe you; and yet you are " going back to Foreji Hill to that " Home in which you will doubt- " leffe be happy to live all your "Dayes." "At Foreji Hill?'' I fayd, of Mary Powell. fayd, "Oh no! I hope not." " And " why ? " fayd he quicklie. I hung my Head, and muttered, " I hope, " fome Daye, to goe back to Mr. " Milton." " And why not at " once?" fayd he. I fayd, " Father " would not let me." " Nay, that " is Childifh," he anfwered, " your " Father could not hinder you if " you wanted not the Mind to goe " it was your firft feeming foe " loth to return, that made him " think you unhappie and refufe to "part with you." I fayd, "And " what if I were unhappie?" He paufed; and knew not at the Moment what Anfwer to make, but fhortlie replyed by another Queftion, " What " Caufe had you to be foe?" I fayd, " That was more eaiily afkt than " anfwered, even if there were anie " Neede I fhoulde anfwer it, or he " had anie Right to afk it." He cried in H5 1643. 146 1643. Maiden & Married Life in an Accent of TendernefTe that ftill wrings my Heart to remember, " Oh, queftion not the Right ! I " only wim to make you happy. " Were you not happy with Mr. " Milton during the Week you fpent *' together here at Sheepfcote?" Thereat I coulde not refrayn from burfting into Tears. Rofe now fprang forward ; but Mr. Agnew fayd, " Let her weep, let her weep, " it will do her good." Then, alle at once it occurred to me that my Hufband was awaiting me at Home, and I cried, " Oh, is Mr. Milton at " Forejl Hi/I?" and felt my Heart full of Gladnefs. Mr. Agnew an- fwered, "Not foe, not foe, poor "^Mo//:" and, looking up at him, I faw him wiping his Brow, though the Daye was foe chill. " As well " tell her now," fayd he to Rofe; and then taking my Hand, " Oh, " Mrs. of Mary Powell. " Mrs. Milton, can you wonder that " your Hufband mould be angry ? " How can you wonder at anie Evil " that may refult from the Provoca- " tion you have given him? What " Marvell, that lince you caft him " off, all the fweet Fountains of " his Affections would be embittered, " and that he mould retaliate by " feeking a Separation, and even a "Divorce?" There I ftopt him with an Outcry of "Divorce?" " Even foe," he moft mournfully replyd, " and I feeke not to excufe " him, fince two Wrongs make not " a Right." " But," I cried, paf- fionately weeping, " I have given " him noe Caufe ; my Heart has " never for a Moment ftrayed to " another, nor does he, I am fure, " exped: it." " Ne'erthelefTe," en- joyned Mr. Agneiv, " he is foe " aggrieved and chafed, that he has " followed 1643. 148 1643. Maiden & Married Life " followed up what he confiders " your Breach of the Marriage " Contrail by writing and publiming " a Book on Divorce; the Tenor " of which coming to your Father's " Ears, has violently incenfed him. " And now, dear Coujin, having, by " your Waywardnefs, kindled this " Flame, what remains for you but " to nay, hear me, hear me, Moll, " for Dick is coming in, and I may " not let him hear me urge you to " the onlie Courfe that can regayn " your Peace Mr. Milton is ftill "your Hufband; cache of you have " now Something to forgive; do "you be the firfte; nay, feeke his " Forgivenefle, and you mail be " happier than you have been yet." But I was weeping without Controule; and Dick coming in, and with Dick the Dinner, I afkt to be excufed, and foe foughte my Chamber, of Mary Powell. 149 Chamber, to weep there without Reftraynt or Witneffe. Poor Rofe came up, as foone as me coulde leave the Table, and told me me had eaten as little as I, and woulde not even preffe me to eat. But me careft me and comforted me, and urged in her owne tender Way alle that had beene fayd by Mr. Agnew; even protefting that if me were in my Place, me woulde not goe back to Foreji Hill, but flraight to London, to entreat with Mr. Milton for his Mercy. But I told her I could not do that, even had I the Means for the Journey; for that my Heart was turned againfl the Man who coulde, for the venial Offence of a young Wife, in abiding too long with her old Father, not onlie cafl her off from his Love, but hold her up to the World's Blame and Scorn, I by making their domeflic Quarrel the 1643. 150 1643. Maiden G? Married Life the Matter for a printed Attack. Rofe fayd, " I admit he is wrong, " but indeed, indeed, Moll, you are " wrong too, and you were wrong " firji:" and me fayd this foe often, that at length we came to crofter Words; when Dick, calling to me from below, would have me make hafte, which I was glad to doe, and left Sheepfcote lefs regrettfullie than I had expected. Rofe kifl me with her gravefl Face. Mr. Agnew put me on my Horfe, and fayd, as he gave me the Rein, "Now think! "now think! even yet! "and then, as I lilently rode off, " God blefs " you." I held down my Head; but, at the Turn of the Road, lookt back, and faw him and Rofe watching us from the Porch. Dick cried, " I am righte glad we are off at laft, " for Father is downright crazie "aboute of Mary Powell. " aboute this BufinerTe, and miftruft- fulle of Agnews Influence over you," and would have gone on railing, but I bade him for Pitie's Sake be quiete. The Effects of my owne Follie, the LolTe of Home, Hufband, Name, the Opinion of the Agnews, the Opinion of the Worlde, rofe up agaynft me, and almoft drove me mad. And, juft as I was thinking I had better lived out my Dayes and dyed earlie in Bride's Churchyarde than that alle this mould have come about, the fuddain Recollection of what Rofe had that Morning tolde me, which foe manie other Thoughts had driven out of my Head, viz. that Mr. Milton had, in his Defire to pleafe me, while I was onlie bent on pleafing myfelf, been fecretly ftrivingto make readie the Alderfgate Street Houfe agaynft my Return, foe 1643. I 5 2 1643. 1644. March 25. Maiden & Married Life foe overcame me, that I wept as I rode along. Nay, at the Corner of a branch Road, had a Mind to beg Dick to let me goe to London; but a Glance at his dogged Countenance fufficed to forefhow my Anfwer. Half dead with Fatigue and Griefe when I reached Home, the tender Embraces of my Father and Mother completed the Overthrowe of my Spiritts. I tooke to my Bed ; and this is the firft Daye I have left it; nor will they let me fend for Rofe, nor even tell her I am ill. The new Year opens drearilie, on Affairs both publick and private. The Loaf parted at Breakfaft this Morning, which, as the Saying goes, is a Sign of Separation ; but Mother onlie fayd 'twas becaufe it was badly kneaded, and chid Margery. She hath beene telling me, but now, how of Mary Powell. how I mighte have 'leaped all my Troubles, and feene as much as I woulde of her and Father, and yet have contented Mr. Milton and beene counted a good Wife. Noe Advice foe ill to bear as that which comes too late. I am fick of this journalling, foe mall onlie put downe the Date of Robin s leaving Home. Lord have Mercy on him, and keepe him in Safetie. This is a fhorte Prayer; therefore, eaiier to be often re- peated. When he kiffed me, he whifpered, " Moll, pray for me." Father does not feeme to mifs Robin much, tho' he dailie drinks his Health after that of the King. Perhaps he did not mifs me anie more when I was in London, though it was true and naturall enough he mould '53 1644. 29th. '54 1644. Maiden & Married Life mould like to fee me agayn. We fhould have beene ufed to our Sepa- ration by this Time ; there would have beene Nothing corroding in it I pray for Robin everie Night. Since he went, the Houfe has lofl its Sunmine. When I was foe anxious to return to Foreft Hill, I never counted on his leaving it. Oh me, what would I give to fee the Skirts of Mr. Milton's Garments agayn ! My Heart is lick unto Death. I have been reading fome of my Journal!, and tearing out much childifh Nonfenfe at the Beginning ; but coulde not deftroy the painfulle Records of the laft Year. How unhappy a Creature am I ! wearie, wearie of my Life, yet no Ways inclined for Death. Lord, have Mercy upon me. I of Mary Powell. I fpend much of my Time, now, in the Book-room, and, though I effay not to purfue the Latin, I read much Englijh, at the leaft, more than ever I did in my Life before ; but often I fancy I am reading when I am onlie dreaming. Oxford is far too gay a Place for me now ever to goe neare it, but my Brothers are much there, and Father in his Farm, and Mother in her Kitchen ; and the Neighbours, when they call, look on me ftrangelie, fo that I have noe Love for them. How different is Rofe's holy, fecluded, yet cheerefulle Life at Sheepfcote! She hath a Nurferie now, foe cannot come to me, and Father likes not I mould goe to her. They fay their Majeftyes' Parting at Abingdon was very forrowfulle and tender. The Lord fend them better 1644. April 3. S th. I 5 6 1644. April 10. Maiden & Married Life better Times! The Queen is to my Mind a moil charming Lady, and well worthy of his Majefty's Affe&ion; yet it feems to me amifle, that thro' her Influence, laft Sum- mer, the Opportunitie of Pacifica- tion was loft. But me was elated, and naturallie enoughe, at her per- fonall Succeffes from the Time of her landing. To me, there feems Nothing foe good as Peace. I know, indeede, Mr. Milton holds that there may be fuch Things as a holy War and a curfed Peace. Father, having a Hoarfenefs, hath deputed me, of late, to read the Morning and Evening Prayers. How beautifulle is our Liturgie ! I grudge at the Puritans for having abolifhed it; and though I felt not its comprehenfive Fullnefle before I married, nor indeed till now, yet I of Mary Powell. I wearied to Death in London at the puritanicall Ordinances and Confcience-meetings and extempore Prayers, wherein it was foe oft the Speaker's Care to mow Men how godly he was. Nay, I think Mr. Milton altogether wrong in the View he takes of praying to God in other Men's Words; for doth he not doe foe, everie Time he followeth the Senfe of another Man's extempore Prayer, wherein he is more at his Mercy and Caprice than when he hath a printed Form fet down, wherein he fees what is coming? Walking in the Home-clofe this Morning, it occurred to me that Mr. Milton intended bringing me to Forefl Hill about this Time ; and that if I had abided patientlie with him through the Winter, we might now have beene both here happily together; 1644. June 8. , 5 8 1644. June 23. Maiden & Married Life together ; untroubled by that Sting which nowpoifons everie Enjoyment of mine, and perhaps of his. Lord, be merciful to me a Sinner. Juft after writing the above, I was in the Garden, gathering a few Coronation Flowers and Sops-in- Wine, and thinking they were of deeper Crimfon at Sheepfcote, and wondering what Rofe was juft then about, and whether had I beene born in her Place, I fhoulde have beene as goode and happy as me, when Harry came up, looking fome- what grave. I fayd, " What is "the Matter?" He gave Anfwer, " Rofe hath loft her Child." Oh ! - that we mould live but a two Hours' Journey apart, and that me coulde lofe a Child three Months olde whom I had never feene ? I ran to Father, and never left off praying of Mary Powell. praying him to let me goe to her till he confented. What, and if I had begged as hard, at the firfte, to goe back to Mr. Milton? might he not have confented then? . . . Soe Harry took me ; and as we drew neare Sheepfcote, I was avifed to think how grave, how barely friendlie had beene our lafl Parting ; and to ponder, would Rofe make me welcome now ? The Infant, Harry tolde me, had beene dead fome Dayes ; and, as we came in Sight of the little grey old Church, we faw a Knot of People coming out of the Churchyard, and guefTed the Baby had juft beene buried. Soe it proved Mr. Agnew's Houfe- door flood ajar; and when we tapped foftlie and Cicely admitted us, we could fee him ftanding by Rofe, who was fitting on the Ground and 1644. i6o 1644. Maiden & Married Life and crying as if me would not be comforted. When me hearde my Voice, me ftarted up, flung her Arms about me, crying more bitterlie than before, and I cried too ; and Mr. Agnew went away with Harry. Then Rofe fayd to me, " You muft " not leave me agayn." . . . .... In the Cool of the Evening, when Harry had left us, me took me into the Churchyarde, and fcat- tered the little Grave with Flowers; and then continued fitting belide it on the GrafTe, quiete, but not com- fortleile. I am avifed to think me prayed. Then Mr. Agnew came forthe and fate on a flat Tombftone hard by ; and without one Word of Introduction took out his Pfalter, and commenced reading the Pfalms for that Evening's Service ; to wit, the 41 ft, the 42d, the 43de ; in a low folemne Voice ; and methoughte I of Mary Powell. I never in my Life hearde aniething to equall it in the Way of Confola- tion. Rofe's heavie Eyes graduallie lookt up from the Ground into her Hufband's Face, and thence up to Heaven. After this, he read, or rather repeated, the Collect at the end of the Buriall Service, putting this Expreffion, " As our Hope is, " this our deare Infant doth." Then he went on to fay in a foothing Tone, " There hath noe Misfortune " happened to us, but fuch as is " common to the Lot of alle Men. " We are alle Sinners, even to the " youngeft, fayreft, and feeminglie " purer! among us ; and Death " entered the World by Sin, and, " conftituted as we are, we would " not, even if we could, difpenfe " with Death. For, where doth it " convey us ? From this burthen- " fome, miferable World, into the " generall M 161 1644. l62 1644. Maiden Gf Married Life generall AfTemblie of Chrift's Firft- born, to be united with the Spiritts of the Juft made perfect, to par- take of everie Enjoyment which in this World is unconnected with Sin, together with others that are unknowne and unfpeakable. And there, we mall agayn have Bodies as well as Soules ; Eyes to fee, but not to fhed Tears; Voices to fpeak and fing, not to utter La- mentations ; Hands, to doe God's Work ; Feet, and it may be, Wings, to carry us on his Errands. Such will be the Bleflednefs of his glorified Saints ; even of thofe who, having been Servants of Satan till the eleventh Hour, laboured penitentlie and diligentlie for their heavenlie Mailer one Hour before Sunfet; but as for thofe who, dying in mere Infancie, never committed actuall Sin, they " follow of Mary Powell. 163 " follow the Lamb whitherfoever ! 1644. " he goeth ! ' Oh, think of this, " dear Rofe, and forrow not as thofe " without Hope ; for be aflured, " your Child hath more reall Reafon " to be grieved for you, than you " for him: " With this, and like Difcourfe, that diftilled like the Dew, or the fmall Rain on the tender GraiTe, did Roger Agneiv comfort his Wife, untill the Moon had rifen. Likewife he fpake to us of thofe who lay buried arounde, how one had died of a broken Heart, another of fud- dain Joy, another had let Patience have her perfect Work through Years of lingering Difeafe. Then we walked flowlie and compofedlie Home, and ate our Supper peace- fullie, Rofe not refufing to eat, though me took but little. Since that Evening, me hath, at 164 1644. Maiden & Married Life at Mr. Agnews Wifh, gone much among the Poor, reading to one, working for another, carrying Food and Medicine to another ; and in this I have borne her Companie. I like it well. Methinks how pleafant and feemlie are the Duties of a country Minister's Wife ! a God-fearing Woman, that is, who confidereth the Poor and Needy, infleade of aiming to be frounced and purfled like her richer! Neigh- bours. Mr. Agnew was reading to us, lafl Night, of Bernard Gilpin he of whom the Lord Burleigb fayd, " Who can blame that Man for not " accepting a Bimopric ? " How charmed were we with the Defcrip- tion of the Simplicitie and Hofpital- itie of his Method of living at Houghton ! There is another Place of nearlie the fame Name, in Buckingham/hire not Houghton, but Horton, of Mary Powell. Horton, .... where one Mr. John Milton fpent five of the beft Years of his Life, and where methinks his Wife could have been happier with him than in Bride's Church- yarde. But it profits not to wifh and to will. What was to be, had Need to be, foe there's an End. Mr. Agnew fayd to me this Morn- ing, fomewhat gravelie, " I obferve, " Coujin, you feem to confider your- " felfe the Victim of Circumstances." " And am I not ? " I replied. " No," he anfwered, " Circumflance is a " falfe God, unrecognifed by the " Chriftian, who contemns him, and " makes him though a Stubborn " yet a profitable Servant." " That " may be alle very grand for a Man " to doe," I fayd. " Very grand, " but very feafible, for a Woman as " well as a Man," rejoined Mr. 1644. Aug. i. i66 1644. Maiden & Married Life " and we mall be driven to " the Wall alle our Lives, unlefs we " have this victorious Struggle with " Circumftances. I feldorn allude, " Coufin, to yours, which are almofte " too delicate for me to meddle " with ; and yet I hardlie feele "juftified in letting foe many Op- " portunities efcape. Do I offend ? " or may I go on ? Onlie think, " then, how voluntarilie you have " placed yourfelf in your prefent " uncomfortable Situation. The " Tree cannot refifl the graduall " Growth of the Mofs upon it ; " but you might, anie Day, anie " Hour, have freed yourfelf from " the equallie graduall Formation " of the Net that has enclofed you " at laft. You entered too haftilie "into your firfte nay, let that " pafs, you gave too fhorte a " Triall of your new Home before " you of Mary Powell. " you became difgufted with it. " Admit it to have beene dull, even " unhealthfulle, were you juftified " in forfaking it at a Month's " End ? But your Hufband gave " you Leave of Abfence, though " obtayned on falfe Pretences. " When you found them to be falfe, <f mould you not have cleared your- " felf to him of Knowledge of the " Deceit ? Then your Leave, foe " obtayned, expired moulde you " not have returned then ? Your " Health and Spiritts were re- " cruited ; your Hufband wrote to " reclaim you moulde you not " have returned then ? He pro- *' vided an Efcort, whom your *' Father beat and drove away. If you had infifted on going to your Hulband, might you not have gone then ? Oh, Coufin, you dare not look up to Heaven and fay 167 1644. i68 1644. Maiden & Married Life " fay you have been the Victim of " Circumftances." I made no Anfwer; onlie felt much moven, and very angrie. I fayd, " If I wifhed to goe back, " Mr. Milton woulde not receive me " now." " Will you try ? " fayd Roger. " Will you but let me try ? Will " you let me write to him ? " I had a Mind to fay " Yes." Infteade, I anfwered " No." " Then there's an End," cried he marplie. " Had you made but one " fayre Triall, whether fuccefsfulle " or noe, I coulde have been fatisfied " no, not fatisfied, but I woulde " have efteemed you, coulde have " taken your Part. As it is, the " lefs I fay juft now, perhaps, the " better. Forgive me for having " fpoken at alle." Afterwards, I hearde him fay of Mary Powell. fay to Rofe of me, " I verilie ! " believe there is Nothing in her j " on which to make a permanent | " Impreffion. I verilie think fhe " loves everie one of thofe long " Curls of hers more than fhe loves " Mr. Milton:' (Note: I will cut them two Inches fhorter to-night. And they will grow all the farter.) .... Oh, my fad Heart, Roger Agnew hath pierced you at laft! I was moved more than he thought, by what he had fayd in the Morning; and, in writing down the Heads of his Speech, to kill Time, a kind of Refentment at myfelfe came over me, unlike to what I had ever felt before ; in fpite of my Folly about my Curls. Seeking for fome Trifle in a Bag that had not been fhaken out fince I brought it from London, out tumbled 169 1644. 1644. Maiden & Married Life tumbled a Key with curious Wards I knew it at once for one that belonged to a certayn Algum-wood Cafket Mr. Milton had Recourfe to dailie, becaufe he kept fmall Change in it; and I knew not I had brought it away! 'Twas worked in Gro- tefque, the Cafket, by Benvenuto, for Clement the Seventh, who for fome Reafon woulde not have it; and foe it came fomehow to Cle- ment illo, who gave it to Mr. Milton. Thought I, how uncomfortable the Lofs of this Key muft have made him! he muft have needed it a hundred Times! even if he hath bought a new Cafket, I will for it he habituallie goes agayn and agayn to the old one, and then he remem- bers that he loft the Key the fame Day that he loft his Wife. I heartilie wifh he had it back. Ah, but he feels not the one Lofs as of Mary Powell. as he feels the other. Nay, but it is as well that one of them, tho' the Leffer, mould be repaired. 'Twill mew Signe of Grace, my thinking of him, and may open the Way, if God wills, to fome Interchange of KindneiTe, however fleeting. Soe I foughte out Mr. Agnew, tapping at his Studdy Doore. He fayd, " Come in," drylie enoughe; and there were he and Rofe reading a Letter. I fayd, " I want you to " write for me to Mr. Milton." He gave a four Look, as much as to fay he difliked the Office; which threw me back, as 'twere; he having foe lately propofed it himfelf. Rofe's Eyes, however, dilated with fweete Pleafure, as me lookt from one to the other of us. " Well, I fear 'tis too late," fayd he at length reluctantlie, I mighte almoft 171 1644. 172 1644. Maiden & Married Life almoft fay grufflie, " what am I to "write?" " To tell him I have this Key," I made Anfwer faltering. "That Key!" cried he. " Yes, the Key of his Algum- " wood Cafket, which I knew not " I had, and which I think he muft " mifs dailie." He lookt at me with the utmoft Impatience. "And is that alle?" he fayd. "Yes, alle," I fayd trembling. " And have you nothing more to " tell him?" fayd he. " No" after a Paufe, I replyed. Rofe's Countenance fell. " Then you muft afk fome one " elfe to write for you, Mrs. Milton" burfte forthe Roger Agnew, " unlefs " you choofe to write for yourfelf. " I have neither Part nor Lot in I of Mary Powell. I burfle forthe into Teares. " No, Rofe, no," repeated Mr. Agnew, putting afide his Wife, who woulde have interceded for me, " her Teares have noe Effecl: on me " now they proceed, not from a " contrite Heart, they are the Tears " of a Child that cannot brook to " be chidden for the WaywardneiTe " in which it perfifts." " You doe me Wrong everie " Way," I fayd ; " I came to you " willing and defirous to doe what " you yourfelfe woulde, this Morn- " ing, have had me doe." "But in how ftrange a Way!" cried he. "At a Time when anie " Renewal of your Intercourfe re- " quires to be conducted with the " utmoft Delicacy, and even with " more Shew of Conceffion on your " Part than, an Hour ago, I mould " have deemed needfulle, to pro- " pofe '73 1644. Maiden & Married Life 1644. " pofe an abrupt, trivial Communi- " cation about an old Key \" " It needed not to have been " abrupt," I fayd, " nor yet trivial; " for I meant it to have beene " exprefl kindlie." " You faid not that before," anfwered he. " Becaufe you gave me not Time. " Becaufe you chid me and fright- " ened me." He flood lilent, fome While, upon this ; grave, yet fofter, and mechani- callie playing with the Key, which he had taken from my Hand. Rofe looking in his Face anxiouflie. At lengthe, to diflurbe his Reverie, me playfulle tooke it from him, faying, in School-girl Phrafe, " This is the Key of the " Kingdom ! " " Of the Kingdom of Heaven, " it mighte be ! " exclaimed Roger, "if of Mary Powell. " if we knew how to ufe it arighte! " If we knew but how to fit it to "the Wards of Milton's Heart! " there's the Difficultie .... a " greater one, poor Moll, than you " know; for hithertoe, alle the Re- " luftance has been on your Part. " But now " What now ?" I anxiouflie afkt. " We were talking of you but as " you rejoyned us/' fayd Mr.^gnew, " and I was telling Rofe that hithertoe " I had confidered the onlie Obftacle "to a Reunion arofe from a falfe " Impreflion of your own, that Mr. " Milton coulde not make you happy. " But now I have beene led to the " Conclufion that you cannot make " him foe, which increafes the Diffi- " cultie." After a Paufe, I fayd, "What " makes you think foe?" " You and he have made me " think 1644. Maiden & Married Life " think foe," he replyed. " Firft for " yourfelf, dear Moll, putting afide " for a Time the Confideration " your Youth, Beauty, Franknefle, " Mirthfullenefle, and a certayn girl- " ifhDrollerie and Mifchiefe that are " all very well in fitting Time and " Place, what remains in you for " a Mind like "John Milton s to repofe " upon? what Stabilitie? what Sym- " pathie ? what fteadfaft Principle ? " You take noe Pains to apprehend "and relim his favourite Purfuits; " you care not for his wounded " Feelings, you confult not his In- " terefls, anie more than your owne " Duty. Now, is fuch the Cha- " rafter to make Milton happy ? " " No one can anfwer that but " himfelf," I replyed, deeplie mor- tyfide. " Well, he has anfwered it," fayd Mr. Agneiu, taking up the Letter he of Mary Powell. 177 he and Rofe had beene reading when I interrupted them. ..." You " muft know, Coufin, that his and " my clofe Friendship hath beene " a good deal interrupted by this " Matter. 'Twas under my Roof " you met. Rofe had imparted to " me much of her earlie Intereft " in you. I fancied you had good " Difpofitions which, under maf- " terlie Trayning, would ripen into "noble Principles; and therefore " promoted your Marriage as far as " my Intereft with your Father had " Weight. I own I was furprifed " at his eafilie obtayned Confent .... " but, that you, once domefticated " with fuch a Man as John Milton, " mould find your Home unin- " terefting, your Affections free to " ftray back to your owne Family, " was what I had never contem- " plated." Here 1644. i 7 8 1644. Maiden & Married Life Here I made a Show of taking the Letter, but he held it back. " No, Moll t you difappointed us " everie Way. And, for a Time, " Rofe and I were fo afhamed, for " you rather than of you, that we " left noe Means neglected of trying " to preferve your Place in your " Hufband's Regard. But you did " not bear us out; and then he be- " ganne to take it amifle that we " upheld you. Soe then, after fome " warm and cool Words, our Cor- " refpondence languished ; and hath " but now beene renewed/* " He has written us a moil kind " Condolence," interrupted Rofe, " on the Death of our Baby." " Yes, moft kindlie, moft nobly " expreft," fayd Mr. Agnew; " but " what a Conclulion ! " And then, after this long Pre- amble, he offered me the Letter, the of Mary Powell. the Beginning of which, tho' doubt- lefTe well enough, I marked not, being impatient to reach the latter Part; wherein I found myfelf fpoken of foe bitterlie, foe harfhlie, as that I too plainly faw Roger Agnew had not beene beiide the Mark when he decided I could never make Mr. Milton happy. Payned and wounded Feeling made me lay alide the Letter without proffering another Word, and retreat without foe much as a Sigh or a Sob into mine own Chamber; but noe longer could the Reftraynt be maintained. I fell to weeping foe paffionatelie that Rofe prayed to come in, and condoled with me, and advifed me, foe as that at length my Weeping abated, and I promifed to return below when I moulde have bathed mine Eyes and fmoothed my Hair; but I have not gone down yet. I 179 1644. 1 8o Maiden & Married Life i6 44- I think I mall fend to Father to have me Home at the Beginning of next Week. Rofe needes me not, now; and it cannot be pleafant to Mr. Agnew to fee my forrowfulle Face about the Houfe. His Re- proofe and my Hufband's together have riven my Heart; I think I fhall never laugh agayn, nor fmile but after a piteous Sorte; and foe People will ceafe to love me, for there is Nothing in me of a graver Kind to draw their Affection; and foe I (hall lead a moping Life unto the End of my Dayes. Luckilie for me, Rofe hath much Sewing to doe; for me hath undertaken with great Energie her Labours for the Poore, and con- fequentlie fpends lefs Time in her Hufband's Studdy ; and, as I help her to the beft of my Means, my Sewing hides my Lack of Talking, and of Mary Powell. 1644. Friday. and Mr. Agnew reads to us fuch Books as he deems entertayning ; yet, half the Time, I hear not what he reads. Still, I did not deeme fo much Amufement could have beene found in Books; and there are fome of his, that, if not foe cumbrous, I woulde fain borrow. I have made up my Mind now, that I mail never fee Mr. Milton more; and am refolved to fubmitt to it without another Tear. Rofe fayd, this Morning, me was glad to fee me more compofed; and foe am I; but never was more miferable. Mr. Agnews religious Services at the End of the Week have alwaies more than ufuall Matter and Mean- inge in them. They are neither foe drowfy as thofe I have beene for manie 181 Saturday l82 1644. Maiden & Married Life manie Years accuftomed to at Home, nor foe wearifome as to remind me of the Puritans. Were there manie fuch as he in our Church, foe faithfulle, fervent, and thought- fulle, methinks there would be fewer Schifmaticks ; but flill there woulde be fome, becaufe there are alwaies fome that like to be the uppermoft. .... To-nighte, Mr. Agnew's Prayers went ftraight to my Heart ; and I privilie turned fundrie of his generall Petitions into particular ones, for myfelf and Robin, and alfo for Mr. Milton. This gave fuch unwonted Relief, that fince I entered into my Clofet, I have repeated the fame particularlie ; one Requeft feeming to grow out of another, till I remained I know not how long on my Knees, and will bend them yet agayn, ere I go to Bed. How fweetlie the Moon mines through of Mary Powell. through my Cafement to-night ! I am almofle avifed to accede to Rofe's Requeft of flaying here to the End of the Month: everie Thing here is foe peacefulle ; and Foreft Hill is dull, now Robin is away. How bleffed a Sabbath! Can it be, that I thought, onlie two Days back, I fhoulde never know Peace agayn? Joy I may not, but Peace I can and doe. And yet nought hath amended the unfortunate Con- dition of mine Affairs ; but a different Colouring is cafte upon them the Lord grant that it may laft! How hath it come foe, and how may it be preferred ? This Morn, when I awoke, 'twas with a Senfe of Relief fuch as we have when we mifs fome wearying bodilie Payn; a Feeling as though I had beene forgiven, yet not by Mr, Milton, for I knew he had 183 1644. Sunday Evening. 1 84 Maiden & Married Life i 1644. had not forgiven me. Then, it mufl be, I was forgiven by God; and why ? I had done Nothing to get his ForgivenefTe, only prefumed on his Mercy to afk manie Things I had noe Right to expect. And yet I felt I 'was forgiven. Why then mighte not Mr. Milton fome Day forgive me? Should the Debt of ten thoufand Talents be cancelled, and not the Debt of a hundred Pence ? Then I thought on that fame Word, Talents ; and confidered, had I ten, or even one? Decided to conlider it at leifure, more clofelie, and to make over to God henceforthe, be they ten, or be it one. Then, drefled with much Compofure, and went down to Breakfaft. Having marked that Mr. Agnew and Rofe affected not Companie on this Day, fpent it chieflie by myfelf, except at Church and Meal-times; partlie of Mary Powell. partlie in my Chamber, partlie in the Garden Bowre by the Bee-hives. Made manie Refolutions, which, in Church, I converted into Prayers and Promifes. Hence, my holy Peace. Rofe propofed, this Morning, we fhoulde refume our Studdies. Felt loath to comply, but did foe never- theleffe, and afterwards we walked manie Miles, to vilit fome poor Folk. This Evening, Mr. Agnew read us the Prologue to the Canterbury Tales. How lifelike are the Por- traitures ! I mind me that Mr. Milton mewed me the Talbot Inn, that Day we croft the River with Mr. Maruell. How heartilie do I wifh I had never read that fame Letter! or rather, that it had never beene written. Thus it is, even with our Wifhes. 185 1644. Monday. Tuesday. i86 1644. Wednesday. Maiden & Married Life Wifhes. We think ourfelves reafon- able in wifhing fome fmall Thing were otherwife, which it were quite as impoffible to alter as fome great Thing. Neverthelefle I cannot help fretting over the Remembrance of that Part wherein he fpake fuch bitter Things of my " moft un- " governed Paflion for Revellings " and Junketings." Sure, he would not call my Life too merrie now, could he fee me lying wakefulle on my Bed, could he fee me preventing the Morning Watch, could he fee me at my Prayers, at my Books, at my Needle. . . . He mail find he hath judged too hardlie of poor Moll, even yet. Took a cold Dinner in a Bafket with us to-day, and ate our rufticall Repaft on the Skirt of a Wood, where we could fee the Squirrels at theire of Mary Powell. theire Gambols. Mr. Agnew lay on the GraiTe, and Rofe took out her Knitting, whereat he laught, and fayd me was like the Dutch Women, that muft knit, whether mourning or feafting, and even on the Sabbath. Having laught her out of her Work, he drew forth Mr. George Herbert's Poems, and read us a Strayn which pleafed Rofe and me foe much, that I (hall copy it herein, to have always by me. How frefhy oh Lord ; how fweet and clean Are thy Returns! e'en as the Flowers in Spring^ To which, bejide theire owne De- mefne, The late pent Frojis Tributes of P lea- fur e bring. Grief melts away like Snow in May, As if there were noefucb cold Thing. Who 187 1644. 1644. Maiden & Married Life Who would have thought my Jhrivelled Heart Woulde have recovered Greennefs ? it was gone 0$uite underground, as Flowers depart To fee their Mother-root, when they have blown. Where they together, alle the hard Weather, Dead to the World, keep Houfe alone. Thefe are thy Wonders, Lord of Power ! Killing and quickening, bringing down to Hell And up to Heaven, in an Hour, Making a Chiming of a pajfing Bell. We fay amifs " this or that is ; " Thy Word is alle, if we could fpell. Ob that I once paft changing were ! Faji in thy Paradife, where no Flowers can wither ; Manie of Mary Powell. Manie a Spring I Jhoot up fair e, Offering at Heaven, growing and groaning thither, Nor doth my Flower want a Spring Shower, My Sins and I joyning together. But while I grow in a ftraight Line, Still upwards bent, as if Heaven were my own, Thy Anger comes, and I decline. What Frojl to that ? What Pole is not the Zone Where alle Things burn, when thou doft turn, And the leajl Frown of thine isjhewn ? And now, in Age, I bud agayn, After foe manie Deaths, I bud and write, I once more fmell the Dew and Rain, And relijh Verjing ! Ob my onlie Light ! It 1644. 190 1644. Thursday. Maiden & Married Life It cannot be that I am he On whom thy Tempeftsfell alle Night ? Thefe are thy Wonders, Lord of Love, To make us fee we are but Flowers that glide, Which, when we once can feel and prove, 'Thou haft a Garden for us where to bide. Who would be more, fwelling their Store, Forfeit their Paradife by theire Pride. Father fent over Diggory with a Letter for me from deare Robin : alfoe, to afk when I was minded to return Home, as Mother wants to goe to Sandford. Fixed the Week after next ; but Rofe fays I muft be here agayn at the Apple-gathering. Anfwered Robin's Letter. He look- eth not for Choyce of fine Words ; nor of Mary Powell. nor noteth an Error here and there in the Spelling. Life flows away here in fuch un- marked Tranquilitie, that one hath Nothing whereof to write, or to remember what diflinguimed one Day from another. I am fad, yet not dulle ; methinks I have grown fome Yeares older fince I came here. I can fancy elder Women feeling much as I doe now. I have Nothing to defire, Nothing to hope, that is likelie to come to pafs Nothing to regret, except I begin foe far back, that my whole Life hath neede, as 'twere, to begin over agayn. . . . Mr. Agnew tranflates to us Portions of Thuanus his Hiftorie, and the Letters of Theodore Beza, concerning the French Reformed Church ; oft prolix, yet interefting, efpecially with Mr. Agnew' s Comments, and Allulions 191 1644. Tuesday. 192 1644. Maiden & Married Life Allulions to our own Time. On the other Hand, Rofe reads Davila, the fworne Apologifte of Catherine de y MediciSy whofe charming Italian even I can comprehende ; but alle is falfe and plaufible. How fad, that the wrong Partie fhoulde be victorious ! Soe it may befall in this Land ; though, indeede, I have hearde foe much bitter Rayling on bothe Sides, that I know not which is right. The Line of Demarcation is not foe diftinctly drawn, me- thinks, as 'twas in France. Yet it cannot be right to take up Arms agaynft conflituted Authorities ? Yet, and if thofe fame Authorities abufe their Truft ? Nay, Women cannot underftand thefe Matters, and I thank Heaven they need not. Onlie, they cannot help fiding with thofe they love; and fometimes thofe they love are on oppofite Sides. Mr. of Mary Powell. 1644. Mr. Agnew fayth, the fecular Arm fhoulde never be employed in fpirituall Matters, and that the Hugenots committed a grave Miftake in choofing Princes and Admirals for their Leaders, infteade of fimple Preachers with Bibles in their Hands; and he afkt, " did Luther or Peter " the Hermit mofl manifeftlie labour " with the Bleffing of God? " .... I have noted the Heads of Mr. Agnew's Readings, after a Fafhion of Rofe's, in order to have a fhorte, comprehenfive Account of the Whole ; and this hath abridged my journalling. It is the more profitable to me of the two, changes the fad Current of Thought, and, though an unaccuftomed Taik, I like it well. On Monday ', I return to For eft \ Saturday. Hill. I am well pleafed to have yet another 194 1644. Aug. 3. Maiden & Married Life another Sheepfcote Sabbath. To-day we had the rare Event of a Dinner- gueft ; foe full of what the Rebels are doing, and alle the Horrors of Strife, that he feemed to us quiete Folks, like the Denizen of another World. For eft Hill, Auguft 3. Home agayn, and Mother hath gone on her long intended Vifitt to Uncle John, taking with her the two youngeft. Father much pre- occupide, by reafon of the Supplies needed for his Majefty's Service ; foe that, fweet Robin being away, I find myfelfe lonely. Harry rides with me in the Evening, but the Mornings I have alle to myfelf ; and when I have fulfilled Mother's Behefts in the Kitchen and Still- room, I have nought but to read in our fomewhat fcant Collection of Books, of Mary Powell. Books, the rnofte Part whereof are religious. And (not on that Account, but by reafon I have read the moft of them before), methinks I will write to borrow fome of Rofe ; for Change of Reading hath now become a Want. I am minded, alfo, to feek out and minifter unto fome poore Folk after her Famion. Now that I am Queen of the Larder, there is manie a wholefome Scrap at my Difpofal, and there are like wife fundrie Phyfiques in my Mother's Clofet, which me addeth to Year by Year, and never wants, we are foe feldom ill. Dear Father fayd this Evening, as we came in from a Walk on the Terrace, " My fweet Molly you were " ever the Light of the Houfe ; but " now, though you are more ftaid " than of former Time, I find you 1644. Aug. 5 196 Maiden & Married Life 1644. " a better Companion than ever. " This laft Vifitt to Sheepfcote hath " evened your Spiritts." Poor Father ! he knew not how I lay awake and wept laft Night, for one I fhall never fee agayn, nor how the Terrace Walk minded me of him. My Spiritts may feem even, and I exert myfelf to pleafe ; but, within, all is dark Shade, or at beft, grey Twilight ; and my Spiritts are, in Fact, worfe here than they were at Sheepfcote, becaufe, here, I am continuallie thinking of one whofe Name is never uttered ; whereas, there, it was mentioned naturallie and tenderlie, though fadly. . . . I will forthe to fee fome of the poor Folk. Same Refolved to make the Circuit of Night. : the Cottages, but onlie reached the firft, wherein I found poor Nell in fuch of Mary Powell. 197 fuch Grief of Body and Mind, that I was avifed to wait with her a long Time. Afkt why me had not fent to us for Relief; was anfwered fhe had thought of doing foe, but was feared of making too free. After a lengthened Vifitt, which feemed to relieve her Mind, and certaynlie relieved mine, I bade her Farewell, and at the Wicket met my Father coming up with a playn-favoured but fcholarlike looking reverend Man. He fayd, " Mo//, I could not " think what had become of you." I anfwered, I hoped I had not kept him waiting for Dinner poor Nell had entertayned me longer than I wifht, with the Catalogue of her Troubles. The Stranger looking attentively at me, obferved that may be the poor Woman had entertayned an Angel unawares ; and added, Doubt not, Madam, we woulde " rather ' 1644. I 1644. Maiden & Married Life " rather await our Dinner than that " you mould have curtayled your " MefTage of Charity." Hithertoe, my Father had not named this Gentleman to me ; but now he fayd, " Child, this is the Reverend Dodor " Jeremy Taylor, Chaplain in Ordi- " narie to his Majefty, and whom " you know I have heard more than " once preach before the King fince " he abode in Oxford" Thereon I made a lowly Reverence, and we walked homewards together. At firft, he difcourfed chiefly with my Father on the Troubles of the Times, and then he drew me into the Dia- logue, in the Courfe of which I let fall a Saying of Mr. AgnwtfS) which drew from the reverend Gentleman a refpectfulle Look I felt I no Way deferved. Soe then I had to explain that the Saying was none of mine, and felt afhamed he fhoulde fuppofe me of Mary Powell. me wifer than I was, efpeciallie as he commended my Modefty. But we progrefled well, and he foon had the Difcourfe all to himfelf, for Squire Paice came up, and detained Fat her > while the Doctor and I walked on. I could not help re- flecting how odd it was, that I, whom Nature had endowed with fuch a very ordinarie Capacitie, and fcarce anie Tafte for Letters, ihoulde continuallie be thrown into the Companie of the clevereft of Men, firfl, Mr. Milton ; then Mr. Agne<w; and now, this Doctor Jeremy Taylor. But, like the other two, he is not merely clever, he is Chriftian and good. How much I learnt in this (hort Interview ! for fhort it feemed, though it muft have extended over a good half Hour. He fayd, " Per- " haps, young Lady, the Time may " come when you mall find fafer " Solace 199 1644. 200 1644. Maiden & Married Life " Solace in the Exercife of the " Charities than of the Affections. " Safer : for, not to coniider how a " fuccefsfulle or unfuccefsfulle Paf- " fion for a human Being of like In- " firmities with ourfelves, oft ftains " and darkens and fhortens the Cur- " rent of Life, even the chaftened " Love of a Mother for her Child, " as ofOtfaviaj who fwooned at ' Tu, " Marcellusj ens/ or of Wives for " their Hufbands, as Artemifta and " Laodamia, fometimes amounting " to Idolatry nay, the Love of " Friend for Friend, with alle " its fweet Influences and ani- " mating Tranfports, yet exceed- " ing the Reafonablenefs of that of " David for 'Jonathan, or of our " bleffed Lord for St. John and the " Family of Lazarus, may procure " far more Torment than Profit : " even if the Attachment be reci- " procal, of Mary Powell. " procal, and well grounded, and " equallie matcht, which often it " is not. Then interpofe human " Tempers, and Chills, and Heates, " and Slyghtes fancied or intended, " which makes the vext Soul readie " to wifh it had never exifted. How " fmalle a Thing is a human Heart ! " you might grafp it in your little " Hand ; and yet its Strifes and " Agonies are enough to diftend a " Skin that mould cover the whole " World ! But, in the Charities, " what Peace! yea, they diftill Sweet- " nefTe even from the Unthankfulle, " blemng him that gives more than " him that receives ; while, in the " Main, they are laid out at better " Intereft than our warmeft Affec- " tions, and bring in a far richer " Harveft of Love and Gratitude. " Yet, let our AfFedlions have their " fitting Exercife too, flaying our- " felves 2OI 1644. 202 1644. Aug. 10. Maiden & Married Life " felves with the Reflection, that " there is greater Happinefle, after " alle Things fayd, in loving than " in being loved, fave by the God of *' Love who firft loved us, and that " they who dwell in Love dwell in " Htm." Then he went on to fpeak of the manifold Acts and Divifions of Charity; as much, methought, in the Vein of a Poet as a Preacher ; and he minded me much of that Scene in the tenth Book of the Fairie <j$ueene, foe lately read to us by Mr. Agnew, wherein the Red Croft Knight and Una were mown Mercy at her Work. A Pack-horfe from Sheepfcote juft reported, laden with a goodlie Store of Books, belides fundrie fmaller Tokens of Rqfe's thoughtfulle Kind- nefle. I have now methodicallie divided of Mary Powell. divided my Time into ftated Hours, of Prayer, Exercife, Studdy, Houfe- wiferie, and Acts of Mercy, on however a humble Scale; and find mine owne Peace of Mind thereby increafed notwithftanding the Dark- nefTe of public and DullnerTe of private Affairs. Made out the Meaning of " Cyno- " fure " and " Cimmerian Dark- " neffe." .... Full fad am I to learn that Mr. Milton hath published another Book in Advocacy of Divorce. Alas, why will he chafe againft the Chain, and widen the cruel Divifion between us? My Father is outrageous on the Matter, and fpeaks foe paffion- atelie of him, that it is worfe than not fpeaking of him at alle, which latelie I was avifed to complain of. Dick 203 1644. Aug. 15. 204 1644. Aug. 30. Maiden & Married Life Dick beginneth to fancie himfelf in Love with Audrey Paice an Attachment that will doe him noe Good : his Taftes alreadie want railing, and me will onlie lower them, I feare, a comely, romping, noifie Girl, that, were me but a Farmer's Daughter, woulde be the Life and Soul of alle the Whitfun- ales, Harvefr-Homes, and Hay- makings in the Country: in fhort, as fond of idling and merrymaking as I once was myfelf : onlie I never was foe riotous. I beginne to fee Faults in Dick and Harry I never faw before. Is my Tafte bettering, or my Temper worfenning? At alle Events, we have noe crofs Words, for I expect them not to alter, knowing how hard it is to doe foe by myfelf. I look forward with Pleafure to my Sheepfcote Vifitt. Dear Mother returneth of Mary Powell. returneth to-morrow. Good Dr. 'Taylor hath twice taken the Trouble to walk over from Oxford to fee me, but he hath now left, and we may never meet agayn. His Vifitts have beene very precious to me : I think he hath fome Glimmering of my fad Cafe : indeed, who knows it not ? At parting he fayd, fmiling, he hoped he mould yet hear of my making Offerings to Viriplaca on Mount Palatine; then added, gravelie, "You know where reall " Offerings may be made andalwaies " accepted Offeringsof fpare Half- " hours and Five-minutes, when " we fhut the Clofet Door and " commune with our own Hearts " and are ftill." Alfoe he fayd, " There are Sacrifices to make " which fometimes wring our very " Hearts to offer; but our gracious " God accepts them nevertheleffe, "if 205 1644. 2o6 Maiden & Married Life 1644. " if our Feet be really in the right " Path, even though, like Chryfeis, " we look back, weeping." He fayd . . . . But how manie Things as beautifulle and true did I hear my Hufband fay, which parTed by me like the idle Wind that I regarded not! Sept. s. Harry hath juft broughte in the News of his Majefty's Succefs in the Weft. Lord Effex's Army hath beene completely furrounded by the royal Troops ; himfelf fordt to efcape in a Boat to Plymouth, and all the Arms, Artillerie, Baggage, &c., of Skippon's Men have fallen into the Hands of the King. Father is foe pleafed that he hath mounted the Flag, and given double Allowance of Ale to his Men. I wearie to hear from Robin. Sheepfcote, of Mary Powell. 1644. Sheepfcote, O5t. 10. How fweete a Picture of rurall Life did Sheepfcote prefent, when I arrived here this Afternoon ! The Water being now much out, the Face of the Countrie pre- fented a new Afpect: there were Men threfhing the Walnut Trees, Children and Women putting the Nuts into Ofier Bafkets, a Bailiff on a white Horfe overlooking them, and now and then galloping to another Party, and fplaming through the Water. Then we found Mr. Agnew equallie bufie with his Apples, mounted half Way up one of the Trees, and throwing Cherry Pippins down into Rofe's Apron, and now and then making as though he would pelt her : onlie me dared him, and woulde not be frightened. Her Donkey, chewing Apples in the 207 Oct. 10. 208 1644. Maiden & Married Life the Corner, with the Cider running out of his Mouth, prefented a ludi- crous Image of Enjoyment, and 'twas evidently enhanct by Giles brufhing his rough Coat with a Birch Befom, inflead of minding his owne BufinerTe of fweeping the Walk. The Sun, mining with mellow Light on the mown Grafs and frefh clipt Hornbeam Hedges, made even the commoneft Objects diftincT: and cheerfulle; and the Air was foe cleare, we coulde hear the Village Children afar off at theire Play. Rqfe had abundance of delicious new Honey in the Comb, and Bread hot from the Oven, for our earlie Supper. Dick was tempted to ftay too late ; however, he is oft as late, now, returning from Audrey Paice, though my Mother likes it not. Roje of Mary Powell. Rofe is quite in good Spiritts now, and we goe on moft harmoniouflie and happilie. Alle our Taftes are now in common; and I never more enjoyed this Union of Seclufion and Society. Befides, Mr. Agnew is more than commonlie kind, and never fpeaks fternlie or fharplie to me now. Indeed, this Morning, looking thoughtfullie at me, he fayd, " I know not, Coujin t what Change " has come over you, but you are " now alle that a wife Man coulde " love and approve." I fayd, It muft be owing then to Dr. Jeremy Taylor, who had done me more goode, it woulde feeme, in three Leifons, than he or Mr. Milton coulde imparte in thirty or three hundred. He fayd he was inclined to attribute it to a higher Source than that; and yet, there was doubt- leife a great Knack in teaching, and there 209 1644, Oct. 15. 2 IO Maiden & Married Life there was a good deal in liking the Teacher. He had alwaies hearde the Doctor fpoken of as a good, pious, and clever Man, though rather too high a Prelatift. I fayd, " There were good Men of alle " Sorts: there was Mr. Milton, who " woulde pull the Church down; " there was Mr. Agnew, who woulde " onlie have it mended ; and there " was Dr. Jeremy 'Taylor, who was " content with it as it ftoode." Then Rofe afkt me of the puritanicall Preachers. Then I mowed her how they preached, and made her laugh. But M.r.^4gnew woulde not laugh. But I made him laugh at laft. Then he was angrie with himfelf and with me ; only not very angry; and fayd I had a Right to a Name which he knew had beene given me, of " cleaving " Mifchief." I knew not he knew of of Mary Powell. 2 1 1 of it, and was checked, though I l6 44- laught it off. Walking together, this Morning, Oct. 16 Rofe was avifed to fay, " Did Mr. " Milton ever tell you the Adventure " of the Italian Lady ? " " Rely on " it he never did," fayd Mr. Agnew. " Milton is as modeft a Man as " ever breathed alle Men of firft " clafs Genius are foe." " What " was the Adventure?" I afkt, curi- ouflie. " Why, I neede not tell " you, Moll, that John Milton, as a " Youth, was extremelie handfome, " even beautifull. His Colour came " and went foe like a Girl's, that " we of Chrijfs College ufed to call " him ' the Lady/ and thereby annoy " him noe little. One fummer " Afternoone he and I and young " King (Lycidas, you know) had " ftarted on a country Walk, (the " Countrie 2 1 2 Maiden & Married Life 1644. Countrie is not pretty, round " Cambridge] when we fell in with " an Acquaintance whom Mr. Milton " affected not, foe he fayd he would " walk on to the firfl rifing Ground " and wait us there. On this " rifing Ground flood a Tree, be- " neath which our impatient young " Gentleman prefentlie cafl him- " felf, and, having walked fail, and " the Weather being warm, foon " falls afleep as found as a Top. " Meantime, King and I quit our " Friend and faunter forward pretty " eafilie. Anon comes up with us " a Caroche, with fomething I know " not what of outlandifh in its Build ; " and within it, two Ladies, one of " them having the Fayrefl Face I " ever fet Eyes on, prefent Com- " panic duly excepted. The Ca- " roche having pafTed us, King and I " mutuallie exprefs our Admiration, "and of Mary Powell. " and thereupon, preferring Turf " to Duft, got on the other Side " the Hedge, which was not foe " thick but that we could make out " the Caroche, and fee the Ladies <( defcend from it, to walk up the " Hill. Having reached the Tree, " they paufed in Surprife at feeing " Milton afleep beneath it; and in " prettie dumb Shew, which we " watcht fharplie, expreft their Ad- " miration of his Appearance and " Pofture, which woulde have fuited " an Arcadian well enough. The " younger Lady, haftilie taking "out a Pencil and Paper, wrote " fomething which me laughinglie " fhewed her Companion, and then " put into the Sleeper's Hand. " Thereupon, they got into their " Caroche, and drove off. King " and I, dying with Curiofitie to " know what me had writ, foon " roufed 213 1644. 214 1644. Maiden & Married Life " roufed our Friend and pofTeft " ourfelves of the Secret. The " Verfes ran thus. . . . Occhiy Stelle mortali, Miniflre de miei Mali, Se, chiuji, m uccidete, Aperti, che f arete? " Milton coloured, crumpled them " up, and yet put them in his " Pocket ; then afkt us what the " Lady was like. And herein lay " the Pleafantry of the Affair ; for " I truly told him me had a Pear- " fhaped Face, luilrous black Eyes, *' and a Skin that mewed ' // bruno " II be I non toglie ;' whereas, King, " in his Mifchief, drew a fancy " Portrait, much liker you, Moll, " than the Incognita, which hit " Milton s Tafte foe much better, " that he was believed for his Payns; " and then he declared that I had " beene of Mary Powell. 2 1 5 " beene defcribing the Duenna! . . . " Some Time after, when Milton " beganne to talk of viiiting Italy, " we bantered him, and fayd he was " going to look for the Incognita. " He ftoode it well, and fayd, ( Laugh " on ! do you think I mind you ? " Not a Bit.' I think he did." Juft at this Turn, Mr. Agnew flumbled at fomething in the long Grafs. It proved to be an old, ruftie Horfe-piftol. His Counte- nance changed at once from gay to grave. " I thought we had noe " fuch Things hereabouts yet," cried he, viewing it afkance. " I fuppofe " I mighte as well think I had found " a Corner of the Land where there " was noe originall Sin." And foe, flung it over the Hedge. Firft clafs Geniufes are alwaies modeft, are they ? Then I mould fay that young Italian Lady's 2 1 6 Maiden & Married Life l6 44- Lady's Genius was not of the firft Clafs. Oct. 19. Speaking, to-day, of Mr. Waller, whom I had once feen at Uncle 'Joints, Mr. Agnew fayd he had obtayned the Reputation of being one of our fmootheft Verfers, and thereupon brought forth one or two of his fmall Pieces in Manufcript, which he read to Rofe and me. They were addrefh to the Lady Dorothy Sydney; and certainlie for fpecious Flatterie I doe not fuppofe they can be matcht; but there is noe Imprefs of reall Feeling in them. How diverfe from my Hulband's Verfing ! He never writ any mere Love-verfes, indeede, foe far as I know; but how much truer a Sence he hath of what is reallie beauti- fulle and becoming in a Woman than Mr. Waller! The Lady Alice Egerton of Mary Powell. Egerton mighte have beene more juftlie proud of the fine Things written for her in Comus, than the Lady Dorothea of anie of the fine Things written of her by this cour- tier-like Poet. For, to fay that Trees bend down in homage to a Woman when me walks under them, and that the healing Waters of Tonbridge were placed there by Nature to compenfate for the fatal Pride of Sachariffa, is foe fullefome and un- true as noe Woman, not devoured by Conceite, coulde endure ; whereas, the Check that Villanie is fenfible of in the Prefence of Virtue, is moft nobly, not extravagantlie, expreft by Comus. And though my Hufband be almoil too lavifh, even in his fhort Pieces, of claffic Allufion and Perfonation, yet, like antique Statues and Bufts well placed in fome ftatelie Pleafaunce, they are alwaies appro- priate 217 1644. 21 1644- Oct. 20. Oct. 24. Maiden & Married Life priate and gracefulle, which is more than can be fayd of Mr. Waller's overftrayned Figures and Metaphors. News from Home : alle well. Audrey Pake on a Vifitt there. I hope Mother hath not put her into my Chamber, but I know that me hath fett fo manie Trays full of Spearmint, Peppermint, Camomiles, and Poppie-heads in the blue Cham- ber to dry, that me will not care to move them, nor have the Window opened left they fhoulde be blown aboute. I wifh I had turned the Key on my ebony Cabinett. Richard and Audrey rode over here, and fpent a noilie Afternoone. Rofe had the Goofe dreffed which I know me meant to have referved for to-morrow. Clover was in a Heat, which one would have thoughte he needed of Mary Powell. needed not to have beene, with carry- ing a Lady ; but Audrey is heavie. She treats Dick like a Boy ; and, indeede he is not much more ; but he is quite taken up with her. I find me lies in the blue Chamber, which me fays fmells rarelie of Herbs. They returned not till late, after fun- drie Hints from Mr.Agnew. Alas, alas, Robin 's Silence is too forrowfullie explained ! He hath beene fent Home foe ill that he is like to die. This Report I have from Diggory, juft come over to fetch me, with whom I ftart, foe foone as his Horfe is bated. Lord, have Mercie on Robin. The Children are alle fent away to keep the Houfe quiete. At Robins Eedfide. Oh, woefulle Sight ! I had not Night known 219 1644. Oct. 27. Saturday 220 1644. Maiden & Married Life known that pale Face, had I met it unawares. So thin and wan, and he hath fhot up into a tall Stripling during the laft few Months. Thefe two Nights of Watching have tried me forelie, but I would not be witholden from fitting up with him yet agayn what and if this Night mould be his laft ? how coulde I for- give myfelf for fleeping on now and taking my Reft ? The firft Night, he knew me not ; yet it was bitter- fweet to hear him chiding at fweet Moll for not coming. Yefternight he knew me for a While, kifTed me, and fell into an heavie Sleepe, with his Hand locked in mine. We hoped the Crifis was come ; but 'twas not foe. He raved much of a Man alle in Red, riding hard after him. I minded me of thofe Words, " The Enemy fayd, I will overtake, " I will purfue," and, noe one being by, of Mary Powell. by, fave the unconfcious Sufferer, I kneeled down befide him, and moft earneftlie prayed for his Deliver- ance from all fpirituall Adverfaries. When I lookt up, his Eyes, larger and darker than ever, were fixt on me with a ftrange, wiftfulle Stare, but he fpake not. From that Moment he was quiete. The Do&or thought him rambling this Morning, though I knew he was not, when he fpake of an Angel in a long white Garment Watching over him and kneeling by him in the Night. Poor Nell fitteth up with Mother to-night right thankfulle is me to find that me can be of anie Ufe : me fays it feems foe ftrange that me mould be able to make any Return for my Kindneffe. I muft fleep to- night, that I may watch to-morrow. The 221 1644. Sunday Evening. 222 1644. Monday. Tuesday. Maiden & Married Life The Servants are nigh fpent, and are betides foolifhlie afrayd of Infec- tion. I hope Rofe prays for me. Soe drowfie and dulle am I, as fcarce to be able to pray for myfelf. Rofe and Mr. Agnew come to abide with us for fome Days. How thank- fulle am I ! Tears have relieved me. Robin worfe to-day. Father quite fubdued. Mr. Agnew will fit up to-night, and infifts on my fleeping. Crab howled under my Window yefternight as he did before my Wedding. I hope there is Nothing in it. Harry got up and beat him, and at laft put him in the Stable. After two Nights' Reft, I feel quite ftrengthened and reftored this Morning. Deare Rofe read me to fleep in her low, gentle Voice, and then lay down by my Side, twice ftepping of Mary Powell. ftepping into Robin's Chamber during the Night, and bringing me News that all was well. Relieved in Mind, I flept heavilie nor woke till late. Then, returned to the fick Chamber, and found Rofe bathing dear Robin's Temples with Vinegar, and changing his Pillow his thin Hand refted on Mr. Agnew, on whom he lookt with a compofed, collected Gaze. Slowlie turned his Eyes on me, and faintlie fmiled, but fpake not. Poor dear Mother is ailing now. I fate with her and Father fome Time ; but it was a true Relief when Rofe took my Place and let me return to the lick Room. Rofe hath alreadie made feveral little Changes for the better ; improved the Ventilation of Robin s Chamber, and prevented his hearing foe manie Noifes. Alfoe, mowed me how to make a pleafant cooling 223 1644. 224 1644. Same Maiden & Married Life cooling Drink, which he likes better than the warm Liquids, and which {he affaires me he may take with perfect Safetie. Robin vext, even to Tears, becaufe Evening. the Doctor forbids the Ufe of his cooling Drink, though it hath cer- tainlie abated the Fever. At his Wifh I ftept down to intercede with the Doctor, then clofetted with my Father, to difcourfe, as I fuppofed, of Robin's Symptoms. Infteade of which, found them earneftlie en- gaged on the never-ending Topick of Cavaliers and Roundheads. I was chafed and cut to the Heart, yet what can poor Father do ; he is ufelefs in the Sick-room, he is wearie of Sufpenfe, and 'tis well if publick Affairs can divert him for an odd Half-hour. The Doctor would not hear of Robin of Mary Powell. Robin taking the cooling Beverage, and warned me that his Death woulde be upon my Head if I per- mitted him to be chilled : foe what could I doe ? Poor Robin very im- patient in confequence ; and raving towards Midnight. Rofe infifted in taking the laft Half of my Watch. I know not that I was ever more forelie exercifed than during the firft Half of this Night. Robin, in his crazie Fit, would leave his Bed, and was foe flrong as nearlie to matter Nell and me, and I feared I muil have called Richard. The next Minute he fell back as weak as a Child : we covered him up warm, and he was overtaken either with Stupor or Sleep. Earneftlie did I pray it might be the latter, and conduce to his healing. After- wards, there being writing Imple- ments at Hand, I wrote a Letter to 22 1644. 226 1644- Wednesday. Maiden & Married Life to Mr. Milton, which, though the Fancy of fending it foon died away, yet eafed my Mind. When not in Prayer, I often find myfelf filently talking to him. Waking late after my fcant Night's Reft, I found my Breakfafte neatlie layd out in the little Antechamber, to prevent the Fatigue of going down Stairs. A Handfulle of Au- tumn Flowers belide my Plate, left me in noe Doubt it was Rofes doing ; and Mr. Agnew writing at the Window, told me he had per- fuaded my Father to goe to Shot over with Dick. Then laying alide his Pen, ftept into the Sick-chamber for the lateft News, which was good : and, fitting next me, talked of the Progrefs of Robin s IllnelTe in a grave yet hopefulle Manner ; leading, as he chieflie does, to high and of Mary Powell. and unearthlie Sources of Confola- tion. He advifed me to take a Turn in the frefh Ayr, though but as far as the two Junipers, before I entered Robin 's Chamber, which, fomewhat reluctantlie, I did ; but the bright Daylight and warm Sun had no good Effect on my Spiritts : on the Contrarie, nothing in blythe Nature feeming in unifon with my SadnefTe, Tears flowed without relieving me. What a folemne, pompous Prigge is this Doctor ! He cries " humph ! " and " aye ! " and bites his Nails and fcrews his Lips together, but I don't believe he underfhands foe much of Phyfick, after alle, as Mr. Agnew. Father came home fulle of the Rebels* Doings, but as for me, I moulde hear them thundering at our Gate with Apathie, except infofar as I feared their diftreffing Robin. Audrey 227 1644. 228 1644- Thursday. Maiden & Married Life Audrey rode over with her Father, this Morn, to make Enquiries. She might have come fooner had me meant to be anie reall Ufe to a Family me has thought of entering. Had Rofe come to our Help as late in the Day, we had been poorlie off, May Heaven in its Mercy fave us from the evil Confequence of this new Mifchance ! Richard, jealous at being allowed fo little Share in nurling Robin, whom he fayd he loved as well as anie did, would lit up with him laft Night, along with Mother. Twice I heard him fnoring, and ftept in to prevail on him to change Places, but coulde not get him to ftir. A third Time he fell afleep, and, it feems, Mother flept too ; and Robin, in his Fever, got out of Bed and drank near a Quart of of Mary Powell. of colde Water, waking Dick by fetting down the Pitcher. Of courfe the Buttle foon reached my liftening Ears. Dick, to do him Juftice, was frightened enough, and ftole away to his Bed without a Word of De- fence ; ' but poor Mother, who had been equallie off her Watch, made more Noife about it than was good for Robin ; who, nevertheleffe, we having warmlie covered up, burft into a profufe Heat, and fell into a found Sleep, which hath now holden him manie Hours. Mr.^gwwau- gureth favourablie of his waking, but we await it in prayerfulle Anxietie. The Crifis is pail ! and the Doctor fayeth he alle along expected it laft Night, which I cannot believe, but Father and Mother doe. At alle Events, praifed be Heaven, there is now hope that deare Robin may recover. 229 1644. 230 1644. Saturday. Maiden & Married Life recover. Rofe and I have mingled Tears, Smiles, and Thankfgivings ; M.r.<dgnew hath exprefled Gratitude after a more collected Manner, and endeavoured to check the fome- what ill-governed Expreffion of Joy throughout the Houfe ; warning the Servants, but efpeciallie Dick and Harry, that Robin may yet have a Relapfe. With what Tranfport have I fat betide dear Robin's Bed, returning his fixed, earneft, thankfulle Gaze, and anfwering the feeble PrefTure of his Hand ! Going into the Studdy juft now, I found Father crying like a Child the firft Time I have known him give Way to Tears during Robin s IlnefTe. Mr. Agnew prefentlie came in, and compofedj him better than I coulde. "Robin better, though ftill very weak. of Mary Powell. weak. Had his Bed made, and took a few Spoonfuls of Broth. A very different Sabbath from the laft. Though Robin 's Constitution hath received a Shock it may never recover, his comparative Amend- ment fills us with ThankfulnelTe ; and our chaftened Sufpenfe hath a fweet Solemnitie and Truftfulleneffe in it, which pafs Understanding. Mr. Agnew conducted our Devo- tions. This Morning, I found him praying with Robin I queftion if it were for the firft Time. Robin look- ing on him with Eyes of fuch fedate Affection ! Robin ftill progreffing. Dear Rofe and Mr. Agne<w leave us to-morrow, but they will foon come agayn. Oh faithful Friends ! ***** Can 231 1644. Sunday. Thursday. 1646. April. Maiden & Married Life Can Aniething equall the def- perate Ingratitude of the human Heart ? TefHfie of it, Journall, agaynft me. Here did I, throughout the inceflant Cares and Anxieties of Robin's SicknefTe, find, or make Time, for almofte dailie Record of my Trouble ; fmce which, whole Months have parTed without foe much as a fcrawled Ejaculation of ThankfullenerTe that the Sick hath beene made whole. Yet, not that that ThankfullenerTe hath beene unfelt, nor, though un- written, unexprefl. Nay, O Lord, deeplie, deeplie have I thanked thee for thy tender Mercies. And he healed foe flowlie, that Sufpenfe, as 'twere, wore itfelf out, and gave Place to a dull, mournful Perfuafion that an Hydropiia would wafte him away, though more flowlie, yet noe lefs furelie than the Fever. Soe of Mary Powell. Soe Weeks lengthened into Months, I mighte well fay Years, they feemed foe long! and fKlle he feemed to neede more Care and TendernefTe; till, juft as he and I had learnt to fay, "Thy Will, O " Lord, be done," he began to gain Flefh, his craving Appetite mode- rated, yet his Food nourifhed him, and by God's Blemng he recovered ! During that heavie Seafon of Pro- bation, our Hearts were unlocked, and we fpake oft to one another of Things in Heaven and Things in Earth. Afterwards, our mutuall Referves returned, and Robin, me- thinks, became ihyer than before, but there can never ceafe to be a dearer Bond between us. Now we are apart, I aim to keep him mindfulle of the high and holie Refolutions he formed in his Sick- neffe; and though he never anfwers thefe 2 33 1646. 234 1646. April 23. Maiden G? Married Life thefe Portions of my Letters, I am avifed to think he finds them not difpleafing. Now that Oxford is like to be befieged, my Life is more confined than ever ; yet I cannot, and will not leave Father and Mother, even for the Agnewsy while they are foe much haraffed. This Morning, my Father hath received a Letter from Sir 'Thomas Glemham, requiring a larger Quantitie of winnowed Wheat, than, with alle his Loyaltie, he likes to fend. Ralph Hewlett hath juft looked in to fay, his Father and Mother have in Safetie reached London, where he will mortlie joyn them, and to afk, is there anie Service he can doe me ? Ay, truly ; one that I dare not name he can bring me Word of Mr. Milton, of his Health, of of Mary Powell. of his Looks, of his Speech, and whether Ralph mall be noe MefTenger of mine. Talking of Money Matters this Morning, Mother fayd Something that brought Tears into mine Eyes. She obferved that though my Huf- band had never beene a Favourite of hers, there was one Thing wherein me muft fay he had behaved gene- roufly : he had never, to this Day, afkt Father for the 5OO/. which had brought him, in the firft Inftance, to Fore/} Hill, (he having promifed old Mr. Milton to try to get the Debt paid,) and the which, on his alking for my Hand, Father tolde him fhoulde be made over fooner or later, in lieu of Dower. Did Rofe know the Bitter- fweet me was imparting to me, when me gave 2 35 1646. April 2 3 6 1646. Maiden & Married Life gave me, by Stealth as 'twere, the latelie publifht Volume of my Huf- band's Engliftj Verfmg ? It hath beene my Companion ever fmce ; for I had perufed the Comus but by Snatches, under the Difadvantage of crabbed Manufcript. This Mor- ning, to ufe his owne deare Words : I fat me down to watch, upon a Bank, With Ivy canopied^ and interwove With flaunting Honeyfuc kle, and be- ganne, Wrapt in apleajlng Fit of Me lane ho lie, To meditate. The Text of my Meditation was this, drawne from the fame loved Source : This I holdflrm ; Virtue may be affayled, but never hurt, Surprifed by unjuft Force, but not en- thralled ; Tea, of Mary Powell. Yea, even that which Mifchief meant moji Harm, Shall, in the happy Trial, prove moft Glory. But who hath fuch Virtue ? have I ? hath he ? No, we have both gone aftray, and done amifs, and wrought finfullie; but I worft, I firft, therefore more neede that I humble myfelf, and pray for both. There is one, more unhappie, perhaps, than either. The King, moft misfortunate Gentleman! who knoweth not which Way to turn, nor whom to truft. Laft Time I faw him, methought never was there a Face foe full of Woe. The King hath efcaped! He gave Orders overnight at alle the Gates, for three Perfons to pafTe ; and, accompanied onlie by Mr. AJh- burnham, 2 37 1646. May 6. 1646. Saturday Even. Maiden & Married Life burnham, and Mr. Hurd, rode forthe at Nightfalle, towards London. Sure, he will not throw himfelfe into the Hands of Parliament ? Mother is affrighted beyond Mea- fure at the near Neighbourhood of Fairfax's Army, and entreats Father to leave alle behind, and flee with us into the City. It may yet be done ; and we alle mare her Feares. Packing up in greate hafte, after a confufed Family Council, wherein fome frem Accounts of the Rebels' Advances, broughte in by Diggory, made my Father the fooner confent to a flolen Flight into Oxford, Dig- gory being left behind in Charge. Time of Flight, to-morrow after Dark, the Puritans being bufie at theire Sermons. The better the Day, the better the Deede. Heaven make it foe ! Oxford ; of Mary Powell. Oxford; in moft confined and un- pleafant Lodgings; but noe Matter; manie better and richer than our- felves fare worfe, and our King hath not where to lay his Head. 'Tis fayd he hath turned his Courfe towards Scotland. There are Souldiers in this Houfe, whofe Noife diffracts us. Alfoe, a poor Widow Lady, ; whofe Hufband hath beene flayn in i thefe Wars. The Children have ' taken a feverifh Complaynt, and require incefTant tending. Theire Beds are far from cleane, in too little Space, and ill aired. The Widow Lady goes about vifiting the Sick, and would faine have my Companie. The Streets have difpleafed me, being foe fulle of Men ; however, in a clofe Hoode I have accompanied her fundrie Times. 'Tis a good Soul, and full - 2 39 1646. Tuesday. May 20. 240 1646, May ayth. Maiden & Married Life full of pious Works and Alms- deedes. Diggory hath found his Way to us, alle difmaied, and bringing Dif- may with him, for the Rebels have taken and ranfacked our Houfe, and turned him forthe. " A Plague on " thefe Wars!" as Father fays. What are we to doe, or how live, defpoyled of alle ? Father hath loft, one Way and another, fince the Civil War broke out, three thoufand Pounds, and is now nearlie beggared. Mother weeps bitterlie, and Father's Countenance hath fallen more than ever I faw it before. "Nine Children!'' he exclaimed, juft now ; " and onlie " one provided for ! " His Eye fell upon me for a Moment, with lefs TendernefTe than ufuall, as though he wifhed me in Alderfgate Street. I'm of Mary Powell. I'm fure I wifh I were there, not becaufe Father is in Misfortune; oh, no. The Parliament requireth our un- fortunate King to irTue Orders to this and alle his other Garrifons, commanding theire Surrender ; and Father, finding this is likelie to take Place forthwith, is buried in having himfelf comprifed within the Articles of Surrender. 'Twill be hard in- deede, fhoulde this be denied. His Eftate lying in the King's Quarters, how coulde he doe lefs than adhere to his Majefty's Partie during this unnaturall War ? I am fure Mother grudged the Royalifts everie Goofe and Turkey they had from our Yard. Praifed be Heaven, deare Father hath juft received Sir Thomas Fair- fax's Protection, empowering him * quietlie 241 1646. June. June zyth. 242 Maiden & Married Life 1646. quietlie and without let to goe forthe " with Servants, Horfes, " Arms, Goods, etc." to " London " or elfe where," whitherfoever he will. And though the Protection extends but over fix Months, at the Expiry of which Time, Father muft take Meafures to embark for fome Place of Refuge beyond Seas, yet who knows what may turn up in thofe fix Months ! The King may enjoy his Owne agayn. Meantime, we immediatelie leave Oxford. Foreft Hill. At Home agayn ; and what a Home ! Everiething to feeke, everie- thing mifplaced, broken, abufed, or gone altogether ! The Gate off its Hinges ; the Stone Balls of the Pillars overthrowne, the great Bell ftolen, the clipt Junipers grubbed up, the Sun-diall broken ! Not a He of Mary Powell. Hen or Chicken, Duck or Duckling, left ! Crab half-ftarved, and foe glad to fee us, that he dragged his Kennel after him. Daify and Blanch making fuch piteous Moans at the Paddock Gate, that I coulde not bear it, but helped Let tic e to milk them. Within Doors, everie Room fmelling of Beer and Tobacco ; Cupboards broken open, etc. On my Chamber Floor, a greafy fteeple-crowned Hat ! Threw it forthe from the Window with a Pair of Tongs. Mother goes about the Houfe weeping. Father fits in his broken Arm-chair, the Picture of Difconfo- latenefs. I fee the Agnews, true Friends! riding hither; and with them a Third, who, methinks, is Rofes brother Ralph. London. St. Martins le Grand. Trembling, weeping, hopefulle, difmaied, 2 43 1646. 244 1646. Twelve at Night. Maiden & Married Life difmaied, here I fit in mine Uncle's hired Houfe, alone in a Crowd, feared at mine owne Precipitation, readie to wifh myfelfe back, unable to refolve, to reflect, to pray .... Alle is filent ; even in the latelie bufie Streets. Why art thou carl down, my Heart ? why art thou dif- quieted within me ? Hope thou ftille in the Lord, for he is the Joy and Light of thy Countenance. Thou haft beene long of learning him to be fuch. Oh, forget not thy LerTon now ! Thy beft Friend hath fanctioned, nay, counfelled this Step, and overcome alle Obftacles, and provided the Means of this Journey ; and to-morrow at Noone, if Events prove not crofs, I fhall have Speech of him whom my Soul loveth. To-night, let me watch, fa ft, and pray. How of Mary Powell. How awfulle it is to beholde a Man weepe ! mine owne Tears, when I think thereon, well forthe Rofe was a true Friend when me fayd, " Our prompt Affections are oft " our wife Counfellors." Soe, me fuggefled and advifed alle ; wrung forthe my Father's Confent, and fett me on my Way, even putting Money in my Purfe. Well for me, had fhe beene at my Journey's End as well as its Beginning. 'Stead of which, here was onlie mine Aunt ; a flow, timid, uncertayn Soule, who proved but a broken Reed to lean upon. Soe, alle I woulde have done arighte went crofTe, the Letter never delivered, the MefTage delayed till he had left Home, foe that me- thought I fhoulde goe crazie. While the Boy, flammering in his lame Excufes, bore my chafed Reproaches 2 45 1646. Friday; at Night. 246 Maiden & Married Life i6 4 6. Reproaches the more humblie be- caufe he faw he had done me fome grievous Hurt, though he knew not what, a Voice in the adjacent Chamber in Alternation with mine Uncle's, drove the Blood of a fuddain from mine Heart, and then fent it back with impetuous Rum, for I knew the Accents right well. Enters mine Aunt, alle flurried, and huming her Voice. " Oh, " Niece, he whom you wot of is " here, but knoweth not you are at " Hand, nor in London. Shall I tell "him?" But I gafped, and held her back by her Skirts ; then, with a fuddain fecret Prayer, or Cry, or maybe, Wifh, as 'twere, darted up unto Heaven for Affiftance, I took noe Thought what I moulde fpeak when confronted with him, but opening the Door between us, he then ftanding of Mary Powell. ftanding with his Back towards it, rufhed forth and to his Feet there fank, in a Gum of Tears ; for not one Word coulde I proffer, nor foe much as look up. A quick Hand was laid on my Head, on my Shoulder as quicklie removed and I was aware of the Door being hurriedlie opened and mut, and a Man hafting forthe ; but 'twas onlie mine Uncle. Mean- time, my Hufband, who had at firft uttered a fuddain Cry or Exclama- tion, had now left me, funk on the Ground as I was, and retired a Space, I know not whither, but methinks he walked haftilie to and fro. Thus I remained, agonized in Tears, unable to recal one Word of the humble Appeal I had pondered on my Jour- ney, or to have fpoken it, though I had known everie Syllable by Rote ; yet not wifhing myfelf, even in that Sufpenfe, 247 1646. 248 1646. Maiden & Married Life Sufpenfe, Shame, and Anguifh, elfe- where than where I was caft, at mine Hufband's Feet. Or ever I was aware, he had come up, and caught me to his Breaft : then, holding me back foe as to look me in the Face, fayd, in Accents I mall never forget, " Much I coulde fay to reproach, " but will not! Henceforth, let us " onlie recall this darke Pafiage " of our deeplie iinfulle Lives, to " quicken us to God's Mercy in " affording us this Re-union. Let " it deepen our Penitence, enhance " our Gratitude." Then, fuddainlie covering up his Face with his Hands, he gave two or three Sobs ; and for fome few Minutes coulde not refrayn himfelf ; but, when at length he uncovered his Eyes and looked down on me with Goodnefs and SweetnefTe, 'twas like of Mary Powell. 249 like the Sun's cleare fhining after Raine. Shall I now deftroy the difgrace- fulle Records of this blotted Book ? I think not; for 'twill quicken me perhaps, as my Hufband fayth, to " deeper Penitence and ftronger " Gratitude," fhoulde I henceforthe be in Danger of fettling on the Lees, and forgetting the deepe Waters which had nearlie clofed over mine Head. At prefent, I am foe joyfulle, foe light of Heart under the Senfe of Forgiveneffe, that it feemeth as though Sorrow coulde lay hold of me noe more ; and yet we are frill, as 'twere, difunited for awhile ; for rny Hufband is agayn fhifting Houfe, and preparing to move his increafed Eftablifhment into Barbican, where he hath taken a goodly Manfion ; and, until it is ready, I am to abide here. 1646. 250 1646. Maiden & Married Life here. I might pleafantlie cavill at this ; but, in Truth, will cavill at Nothing now. I am, by this, full perfuaded that Ralph's Tale concerning Mifs Davies was a falfe Lie ; though, at the Time, fuppoiing it to have fome Colour, it inflamed my Jealoufie noe little. The crofs Spight of that Youth led, under his Sifter's Management, to an Iflue his Malice never forecaft; and now, though I might come at the Truth for Inquiry, I will not foe much as even foil my Mind with thinking of it agayn; for there is that Truth in mine Huf- band's Eyes, which woulde filence the Slanders of a hundred Liars. Chafed, irritated, he has beene, foe as to excite the farcaftic Con- ftruclions of thofe who wifh him evill ; but his Soul, and his Heart, and his Mind require a Flighte beyond of Mary Powell. 251 beyond Ralph's Witt to compre- x6 4 e. hende; and I know and feel that they are mine. He hath juft led in the two Phillips 's to me, and left us together. Jack lookt at me afkance, and held aloof; but deare little Ned threw his Arms about me and wept, and I did weep too; feeing the which, Jack advanced, gave me his Hand, and finally his Lips, then lookt as much as to fay, "Now, Alle's right." They are grown, and are more comely than heretofore, which, in fome Meafure, is owing to theire Hair being noe longer cut ftrait and fhort after the Puritanicall Fafhion I foe hate, but curled like their Uncle's. I have writ, not the Particulars, but the I flue of my Journey, unto Rofe, whofe loving Heart, I know, yearns for Tidings. Alfoe, more brieflie 2 5 2 1646. September. Maiden & Married Life brieflie unto my Mother, who loveth not Mr. Milton. Barbican. In the Night-feafon, we take noe Reft ; we fearch out our Hearts, and commune with our Spiritts, and checque our Souls' Accounts, before we dare court our Sleep ; but in the Day of HappinefTe we cut fhorte our Reckonings ; and here am I, a joy- fulle Wife, too proud and buiie amid my dailie Cares to have Leifure for more than a brief Note in my Diarium, as Ned woulde call it. 'Tis a large Houfe, with more Rooms than we can fill, even with the Phillips' 's and their Scholar-mates, olde Mr. Milton, and my Hufband's Books to boot. I feel Pleafure in being houfewifelie ; and reape the Benefit of alle that I learnt of this Sorte at Sheepfcote. Mine Hufband's Eyes of Mary Powell. Eyes follow me with Delight ; and once with a perplexed yet pleafed Smile, he fayd to me, "Sweet Wife, " thou art ftrangelie altered ; it " feems as though I have indeede " loft < fweet Moll* after alle!" Yes, I am indeed changed ; more than he knows or coulde believe. I And he is changed too. With Payn I perceive a more ftern, fevere Tone occalionallie ufed by him ; doubtlelTe the Cloke aflumed by his Griefe to 'hide the Ruin I had made within. Yet a more geniall Influence is fail melting this away. Agayn, I note with Payn that he complayns much of his Eyes. At firft, I obferved ! he rubbed them oft, and dared not mention it, believing that his Tears en Account of me, finfulle Soule ! had made them fmart. Soe, perhaps, they did in the firft Inftance, for it appears they have beene ailing ever fince 2 53 1646. 254 1646. Maiden & Married Life fince the Year I left him; and Over- ftuddy, which my Prefence mighte have prevented, hath conduced to the fame ill Effect. Whenever he now looks at a lighted Candle, he fees a Sort of Iris alle about it; and, this Morning, he difturbed me by mentioning that a total Darkneffe obfcured everie Thing on the left Side of his Eye, and that he even feared, fometimes, he might event- uallie lofe the Sight of both. " In " which Cafe," he cheerfully fayd, " you, deare Wife, muft become " my Lecturer as well as Amanu- " enlis, and content yourfelf to read " to me a World of crabbed Books, " in Tongues that are not nor neede " ever be yours, feeing that a Woman " has ever enough of her own ! " Then, more penfivelie, he added, ' I difcipline and tranquillize my ' Mind on this Subject, ever re- " membering, of Mary Powell. " membering, when the Appre- " henfion afflicls me, that, as Man " lives not by Bread alone, but by " everie Word that proceeds out of " the Mouth of God, fo Man like- " wife lives not by Sight alone, but " by Faith in the Giver of Sight. " As long, therefore, as it {hall " pleafe Him to prolong, however " imperfectlie, this precious Gift, " foe long will I lay up Store " agaynft the Days of Darkneffe, " which may be manie; and when- " foever it fhall pleafe Him to " withdrawe it from me altogether, " I will cheerfully bid mine Eyes " keep Holiday, and place my Hand " truftfullie in His, to be led whi- " therfoever He will, through the " Remainder of Life." A Honeymoon cannot for ever laft ; nor Senfe of Danger, when it 2 55 1646. 256 1646. Maiden & Married Life it long hath paft ; but one little Difference from out manie greater Differences between my late happie Fortnighte in St.Martins-k-Grand, and my prefent dailie Courfe in Barbican, hath marked the Dif- tinction between Lover and Huf- band. There it was " fweet Molly' " my Heart's Life of Life," " my " deareft cleaving Mifchief ; " here 'tis onlie "Wife," " Miftrefs Mil- " ton" or at moft " deare or fweet " Wife." This, I know, is mafter- fulle and feemly. Onlie, this Morning, chancing to quote one of his owne Lines, Thefe Things may ft art le 'well, but not aftounde, he fayd, in a Kind of Wonder, " Why, Moll, whence had you " that ? Methought you hated " Verling, as you ufed to call it. " When of Mary Powell. " When learnt you to love it ? " I hung my Head in my old foolifli Way, and anfwered, " Since I learnt " to love the Verfer." " Why, this "is the beft of Alle!" he haftilie cried, " Can my fweet Wife be in- " deede Heart of my Heart and " Spirit of my Spirit ? I loft, or " drove away a Child, and have " found a Woman." Thereafter, he lefs often wifed me, and I found I was agayn fweet Moll. This Afternoon, Chriftopher Milton lookt in on us. After faluting me with the ufuall Mixture of Malice and Civilitie in his Looks, he fell into eafie Converfation ; and pre- fentlie fays to his Brother quietlie enough, " I faw a curious Penny- worth at a Book-flail as I came along this Morning." " What "was that?" fays my Hulband, brightening up. " It had a long " Name," 258 Maiden & Married Life i6 4 6. Name," fays Chriftopher, "I " think it was called Tetrachordon" My Hufband caft at me a fuddain, quick Look, but I did not foe much as change Colour; and quietlie con- tinued my Sewing. " I wonder," fays he, after a Paufe, " that you did not invert a fmall " Portion of your Capitall in the " Work, as you fay 'twas foe greate " a Bargain. However, Mr. Kit, t( let me give you one fmall Hint " with alle the goode Humour " imaginable ; don't take Advantage " of our neare and deare Relation " to make too frequent Opportunities " of faying to me Anything that " would certainlie procure for an- " other Man a Thrafhing !" Then, after a Ihort Silence be- tweene Alle, he fuddainlie burft out laughing, and cried, " I know 'tis " on the Stalls ; I've feene it, Kit, " myfelf ! of Mary Powell. 259 "myfelf! Oh, had you feene, as ' I did, the Blockheads poring over " the Title, and hammering at it " while you might have walked to "Mile End and back!" " That's Fame, I fuppofe," fays Chrtftopher drylie ; and then goes off to talk of fome new Exercife of the Prefs-licenfer's Authoritie, which he feemed to approve, but it kindled my Hufband in a Minute. " What Folly ! what Nonfenfe ! " cried he, fmiting the Table ; " thefe " Jacks in Office fometimes devife " fuch fenfeleffe Things that I really " am afhamed of being of theire " Party. Licence, indeed ! their " Licence ! I fuppofe they will fhortlie licenfe the Lengthe of Moll's Curls, and regulate the Colour of her Hoode, and forbid " the Larks to fing within Sounde of " Bow Bell, and the Bees to hum "'o 1646. 260 Maiden & Married Life 1646. " o' Sundays. Methoughte I had " broken Mabbot's Teeth two Years " agone ; but I muft bring forthe a " new Edition of my Areopagitica ; " and I'll put your Name down, Kit, " for a hundred Copies ! " October. Though a rufticall Life hath ever had my Suffrages, Nothing can be more pleafant than our regular Courfe. We rife at five or fooner : while my Hufband combs his Hair, he commonly hums or fings fome Pfalfn or Hymn, verfing it, maybe, as he goes on. Being dreft, Ned reads him a Chapter in the Hebrew Bible. With Ned ftille at his Knee, and me by his Side, he expounds and improves the Same ; then, after a fhorte, heartie Prayer, releafes us both. Before I have finifhed my Dreffing, I hear him below at his Organ, with the two Lads, who fing of Mary Powell. fmg as well as Chorifters, hymning Anthems and Gregorian Chants, now foaring up to the Clouds, as 'twere, and then dying off as though fome wide echoing Space lay betweene us. I ufuallie find Time to tie on my Hoode and flip away to the Herb-market for a Bunch of frefh Radifhes or Crefles, a Sprig of Parfley, or at the leafte a Pofy, to lay on his Plate. A good wheaten Loaf, frefh Butter and Eggs, and a large Jug of Milk, compofe our fimple Breakfaft ; for he likes not, as my Father, to fee Boys hacking a huge Piece of Beef, nor cares for heavie feeding, himfelf. Onlie, olde Mr. Milton fometimes takes a Rafher of toafted Bacon, but commonly, a Bafin of Furmity, which I prepare more to his Minde than the Ser- vants can. After Breakfaft, I well know the Boys' 261 1646. 262 Maiden & Married Life i6 4 6. Boys' LefTons will laft till Noone. I therefore goe to my Clofett Duties after my Foreji Hill Fafhion ; thence to Market, buy what I neede, come Home, look to my Maids, give forthe needfulle Stores, then to my Needle, my Books, or perchance to my Lute, which I woulde faine play better. From twelve to one is the Boys' Hour of Paflime ; and it may generallie be fayd, my Hulband's and mine too. He draws aiide the green Curtain, for we lit moflly in a large Chamber fhaped like the Letter T, and thus divided while at our feparate Duties : my End is the pleafanteft, has the Sun moft upon it, and hath a Balcony overlooking a Garden. At one, we dine ; always on iimple, plain Dimes, but dreft with Neatnefle and Care. Olde Mr. Milton fits at my right Hand and fays Grace ; and, though grow- ing of Mary Powell. ing a little deaf, enters into alle the livelie Difcourfe at Table. He loves me to help him to the tendereft, by Reafon of his Lofle of Teeth. My Hufband careth not to litt over the Wine ; and hath noe fooner finimed the Cheefe and Pippins than he re- verts to the Viol or Organ, and not onlie fings himfelf, but will make me fing too, though he fayth my Voice is better than my Ear. Never was there fuch a tunefulle Spiritt. He alwaies tears himfelf away at lafte, as with a Kind of Violence, and returns to his Books at fix o' the Clock. Meantime, his old Father dozes, and I few at his Side. From fix to eight, we are feldom without Friends, chance Vifitants, often fcholarlike and witty, who tell us alle the News, and remain to partake a light Supper. The Boys enjoy this Seafon as much as I doe, though 263 1646. 264. Maiden & Married Life 1646. though with Books before them, their Hands over their Ears, pre- tending to con the Morrow's Tafks. If the Guefls chance to be muficalle, the Lute and Viol are broughte forthe, to alternate with Roundelay and Madrigal : the old Man beating Time with his feeble Fingers, and now and then joining with his quavering Voice. (By the Way, he hath not forgotten to this Hour, my imputed Crime of lofing that Song by Harry Lawes: my Hufband takes my Part, and fayth it will turn up fome Day when leafte expedled, like yujiinians Pandeffs.) Hubert brings him his Pipe and a Glafs of Water, and then I crave his Bleffing and goe to Bed ; firft, praying fer- ventlie for alle beneathe this deare Roof, and then for alle at Sheepfcote and Forejt Hill: On Sabbaths, belides the publick Ordinances of Mary Powell. Ordinances of Devotion, which I cannot, with alle my ftriving, bring myfelf to love like the Services to which I have beene accuftomed, we have much Reading, Singing, and Difcourfmg among ourfelves. The Maids fing, the Boys fing, Hubert fings, olde Mr. Milton fmgs ; and trulie with foe much of it, I woulde fometimes as lief have them quiete. The Sheepfcote Sundays fuited me better. The Sabbath 'Exercife of the Boys is to read a Chapter in the Greek Teftament, heare my Hufband expounde the fame ; and write out a Syftem of Divinitie as he dictates to them, walking to and fro. In liftening thereto, I find my Pleafure and Profitt. I have alfoe my owne little Cate- chifing, after a humbler Sorte, in the Kitchen, and fome poore Folk to relieve and confole, with my Huf- band's 265 1646. 266 Maiden Gf Married Life band's Concurrence and Encourage- ment. Thus, the Sabbath is de- voutlie and happilie pafTed. My Hufband alfoe takes, once in a Fortnighte or foe, what he blythelie calls " a gaudy Day," equallie to his owne Content, the Boys', and mine. On thefe Occa- fions, it is my Province to provide colde Fowls or Pigeon Pie, which Hubert carries, with what elfe we neede, to the Spot felected for our Camp Dinner. Sometimes we take Boat to Richmond or Greenwich. Two young Gallants, Mr. Alphrey and Mr. Miller, love to joyn our Partie, and toil at the Oar, or fcramble up the Hills, as merrilie as the Boys. I muft fay they deal favagelie with the Pigeon Pie after- wards. They have as wild Spiritts as our Dick and Harry, but withal a moil wonderfull Reverence for my Hufband, of Mary Powell. Hufband, whom they courte to read and recite, and provoke to plea- fant Argument, never prolonged to WearinerTe, and feafoned with Frolic Jeft and Witt. Olde Mr. Milton joyns not thefe Parties. I leave him alwaies to Dolly's Care, firfte provi- ding 'for him a Sweetbread or fome frnalle Relim, fuch as he loves. He is in Bed ere we return, which is oft by Moonlighte. How foon muft Smiles give Way to Tears! Here is a Letter from deare Mother, taking noe Note of what I write to her, and for good Reafon, me is foe diftraught at her owne and deare Father s ill Condi- tion. The Rebels (I muft call them fuch,) have foe ftript and oppreft them, they cannot make theire Houfe tenantable ; nor have Aught to feede on, had they e'en a whole Roof over theire Heads. The Neighbour- 267 1646. 268 Maiden & Married Life 1646. Neighbourhoode is too hot to holde them ; olde Friends cowardlie and fufpicious, olde and new Foes in League together. Leave Oxon they mufl ; but where to goe ? Father, defpite his broken Health and Hatred of the Foreigner, mufl needes depart beyond Seas ; at leafte within the fix Months ; but how, with an emptie Purfe, make his Way in a ftrange Land, with a Wife and feven Children at his Heels ? Soe ends Mother with a " Lord have Mercy " upon us ! " as though her Houfe were as furelie doomed to Deftruc- tion as if it helde the Plague. Mine Eyes were yet fwollen with Tears, when my Hufband ftept in. He afkt, " What ails you, precious "Wife?" I coulde but figh, and give him the Letter. Having read the Same, he fays, " But what, my " deareft ? Have we not ample " Room of Mary Powell. " Room here for them alle ? I fpeak "as to Generalls, you muft care for " Particulars, and flow them as you " will. There are plenty of fmall " Rooms for the Boys; but, if your " Father, being infirm, needes a " Ground-floor Chamber, you and " I will mount aloft." I coulde but look my Thankfulle- neffe and kifs his Hand. " Nay," he added, with increafing Gentle- nefTe, " think not I have feene your " Cares for my owne Father without " loving and bleffing you. Let Mr. " Powell come and fee us happie ; " it may tend to make him foe. " Let him and his abide with us, " at the leafle, till the Spring : his " Lads will Studdy and play with " mine, your Mother will help you " in your Houfewiferie, the two olde " Men will chirp together befide " the Chriftmafle Hearth ; and, if I " find 269 1646. Maiden & Married Life 1646. " find thy Weeklie Bills the heavier, " 'twill be but to write another " Book, and make a better Bargain " for it than I did for the laft. " We will ufe Hofpitalitie without 1 ' grudging ; and, as for your owne " Increafe of Cares, I fuppofe 'twill " be but to order two Legs of Mutton " infteade of one ! " And foe, with a Laugh, left me, moft joyfulle, happy Wife ! to drawe Sweete out of Sowre, Delighte out of Sorrowe ; and to fummon mine owne Kindred aboute me, and wipe away theire Tears, bid them eat, drink, and be merry, and mew myfelfe to them, how proud, how cherimed a Wife ! Surelie my Mother will learne to love John Milton at laft! If me doth not, this will be my fecret CrofTe, for 'tis hard to love dearlie two Perfons who efteeme not one another. of Mary Powell. another. But me will, me muft, not onlie refpecl: him for his Up- rightnerTe and Magnanimitie, cou- pled with what himfelfe calls " an " honeft HaughtineiTe and Self- " efteeme," but like him for his kind and equall Temper, (not "harih and crabbed," as I have hearde her call it,) his eafie Flow of Mirthe, his Manners, unarfecliedlie cheer- fulle ; his Voice, muficall ; his Per- fon, beautifull; his Habitt, grace- full ; his Hofpitalitie, naturall to him; hisPurfe, Countenance, Time, Trouble, at his Friend's Service ; his Devotion, humble ; his Forgive- nerTe, heavenlie ! May it pleafe God that my Mother mall like John Milton! .... 271 1646. FINIS. by tljc Hutijor of " iWarg ' Whenever we open a volume by the author of ' Mary Poicell' we know at once that we have a work in our hands that is sure to be distinguished by its purity. 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