THE 
 
 D I A B O L I A D; 
 
 AND 
 
 DIABO-LADY.
 
 THE 
 
 D I A B O L I A D, 
 
 A 
 
 POEM. 
 
 DEDICATED TO THE 
 
 WORST MAN 
 
 I N 
 
 HIS MAJESTY'S DOMINIONS. 
 ALSO, THE 
 
 DIABO-LADY: 
 
 O R, A 
 
 MATCH IN HELL. 
 
 TO REIGN IS WORTH AMBITION, THO* IN HELL! 
 
 MILTON. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed: And DUBLIN Reprinted. 1777.
 
 DEDICATION 
 
 T O T H E 
 
 WORST MAN 
 
 I N 
 
 HIS MAJESTY'S DOMINIONS. 
 
 My LORD, 
 
 I H A V E not the honour of be- 
 ing acquainted with your Lordfhip ; 
 and as I do not wifh there fhould 
 be any attempt to violate my pro- 
 perty, to eftrange the afTeftions of 
 my wife, to feduce my daughter, of 
 corrupt my fon ; it is a matter of 
 A 3 real
 
 vi DEDICATION. 
 
 real fatis%lion to me, that I have 
 not formed any connections with 
 you. 
 
 To addrefs you, my Lord, in the 
 name you derive from your Ancef- 
 tors, would be treating you, in com- 
 mon with thofe who have no titles 
 to difiinguifh them from the herd 
 of ordinary men. The moft emi- 
 nent Bards, Orators, Philofophers, 
 and Statefmen, have felt greater de- 
 light, and received an higher fame 
 from titles characteriftic of their ex- 
 cellence, than imperial favour could 
 beftow. Does not Mr. Carriers cha- 
 racler, my Lord, derive an honour 
 from the application of thofe titles 
 he fo well deferves, the Reformer of 
 the Stage^ the Great Theatrical Exam- 
 ple, the Eritijh Aftor, &c. &c. with 
 which his particular name has no 
 
 more
 
 DEDICATION. vii 
 
 more to do, than any otjjer which 
 has been ufed for the purpofes of 
 focial diftinclion ? If I were to quote 
 to your Lordfhip an opinion of 0- 
 lomorfs, you might, perhaps, ima- 
 gine him to be a Jew-broker, a near 
 relation, a familiar fervant, or a cha- 
 racter in a Comedy ; but when I men- 
 tion a faying of the Wife Man, your 
 Lordfhip will immediately perceive, 
 by this diftinguifhing characleriftic 
 appellation, that I mean no lefs a 
 perfonage than the King of IJrael. 
 How faint does General Sir Jeffery, 
 or even Lord Amherft found, when 
 compared with the Conqueror of Ame- 
 rica! And how infipid is the title of* 
 General, Sir William, or even Lord 
 How, on a comparifon with the Re- 
 conquerors of it fhould the wifhes of 
 Great Britain be compleated ! 
 
 Cicero
 
 viii DEDICATION. 
 
 Cicero and many others among the 
 Antients owed their names to fome 
 perfonal peculiarity or defect, and 
 the misfortune of bandy legs gave 
 a well-known title to one of our own 
 Monarch s. I do not know, my Lord, 
 that Nature has been guilty of any 
 inattention to your form ; and if fhe 
 had, it would not have concerned 
 me, whcr look to the mind as the beft 
 fource of name and title. Though, 
 if I had time, and it were to the 
 purpofe, we might find it matter of 
 curious fpeculation tcr enquire, why 
 the pooreft and moil ignoble man 
 on earth, if capricious Nature has 
 placed a hunch upon his back, fhould 
 be honoured with the fame title as 
 your Lordfhip, and without the for- 
 malities of a Royal Patent. 
 
 But
 
 DEDICATION. ix 
 
 But to proceed. The bulk of 
 
 mankind, who are incapable of nice 
 obfervation, and to whom, if they 
 were capable, it would be ufelefs, 
 look not to the more intermediate 
 ftate of human character; but, paff- 
 ing at once to the extremes, fix their 
 attention on the Beft and Worft of 
 Men. Your Lordfhip need not, 
 therefore, be afraid, that you will 
 cfcape that celebrity which I mean 
 to beftow by this Dedication. How- 
 ever, not to omit any thing which 
 may produce your conviction, I (hall 
 beg leave, my Lord, to acquaint 
 you, that many years ag;o, when 
 mankind in general were not fo en- 
 lightened and informed, more parti- 
 cularly with refpecl to characler, as 
 they are at prefeht, a Letter was 
 
 published,
 
 x DEDICATION. 
 
 publiflied, addreffed To the Moft Im- 
 pudent Man Living ; a title far more 
 vague and indeterminate than that 
 which I have done myfelf the ho- 
 nour of giving to your Lordfhip. 
 Neverthelefs, the public eye imme- 
 diately difcovered to whom this poor 
 performance, for it was a very poor 
 one, was addreffed, though he was 
 flickered, where one would think 
 impudence could not find a ihelter, 
 in the bofom of the Church. 
 
 There are many in the world, who 
 think the perfection of their abilities 
 to confift in making their vices the 
 means of attracting the notice of 
 mankind. Your Lordfhip's own 
 heart will tell you, that you are one 
 of the number; and furely you will 
 
 think
 
 DEDICATION. xi 
 
 think all further reafoning on this 
 fubjecl nugatory and impertinent, 
 when I aflure you, my Lord, that 
 your fuccefs has been equal to your 
 wifhes. 
 
 However, if you are not con- 
 vinced by my arguments; and the 
 propriety of that title which my pen 
 has beftowed upon you fhouldbea 
 matter of doubt in your Lordf hip's 
 breaft; will you, my Lord, do me 
 the favour to travel a few lines far- 
 ther, and hear my excufes for the 
 liberty I have taken ? You will there- 
 fore pardon me, if I am now obliged 
 to turn from fo important an objecl 
 
 as Lord , to fo inconfiderable 
 
 an Individual as myfelf. 
 
 I was
 
 xii DEDICATION. 
 
 I was not born to refine and po-* 
 lifh my own Competitions! The long 
 habit of making rapid {ketches of 
 men and things, has rendered me 
 wholly incapable of filling up an 
 Outline with thofe effectual mattes 
 of light and fhade, and that happy, 
 harmonious mixture of colours, which 
 diftinguifh the woik of judicious ap- 
 plication. I know, my Lord, that 
 1 am a carelefs Writer : The inaccu- 
 racies of this Addrefs, and the pages 
 which fucceed it, will, I fear, fully, 
 prove my aiTertion. Ncverthelefs I 
 feel a felf-complacency refulting from 
 this performance, unlaboured as it 
 may be, which I am fure your Lord- 
 fhip would wifh me to poffefs as 
 my folace and my reward. This fa- 
 tisfaclion, therefore, I cannot fufFer 
 to be diminifhed, nor my allowable 
 
 Vanity
 
 DEDICATION. xiii 
 
 vanity to be mortified, by prefixing 
 a name to my work, which is to be 
 continually feen in the annual pages 
 of the blufhing Regifter, and which 
 you never fuffer to be erafed from 
 the Journals of your Tradefmen. 
 
 J am, my Lord, with due refpeft, 
 
 Your Lordfhip's fmcere Friend, 
 
 * * # * #. 
 
 THE
 
 /' 
 
 X 
 
 X" 
 
 X 
 
 x 
 X
 
 THE 
 
 D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 A HE DEVIL, grown, old, was anxious to 
 
 prepare 
 
 A fit Succeflbr for the Infernal Chair. 
 At length, he fummon'd forth his chofen band ; 
 And thus the Monarch gave his laft command : 
 B Expand
 
 i8 THE DIABOLIAD. 
 
 " Expand your fable wings, and fpeed to Earth ! 
 " To every Knave of Power, and Imp of Birth, 
 " Statefmen and Peers, thefe welcome tidings tell, 
 *' That I refolve to quit the Throne of HELL : 
 '* But, ere I ceafe to reign, 'twill be my care 
 " From my dear Children to ele& an Heir. 
 " For this important end, I now proclaim, 
 " And fwearby SATAN'S high and mighty name, 
 " That ere the porting Sun's refplendent ray 
 " Dawns on the Upper World another day, 
 " With all terrific pomp, I will appear 
 " On the dark, ebon Throne of HELL, to hear 
 " The Claimants of its honours each difplay 
 " Their.titles to my proud, imperial fway. 
 " This purpofe kt my favourite Mortals know, 
 " And give them convoy to my realms below." 
 They heard, and inftant foar'd upon the wind; 
 The Infernal Regions foon were left behind. 
 
 By
 
 T H E D I A B O L I A D. 19 
 
 By whirlwinds borne,, they urge the rapid flight," 
 Till, gently fluttering round the giddy height 
 Of PAUL'S black, footy Dome, they unob- 
 ferv'd alight. 
 
 In ftri& obedience to their King's command, 
 The human (hape aflum'd, along the STRAND 
 They bend their courfe, to where the Scaffold flood 
 That whilom fmok'd with ftreams of royal blood : 
 And where, I truft, if Tyrant Kings fucceed 
 To fpurn our facred Laws, thofe Kings (hall 
 bleed. 
 
 Here they difperfe:--Sometake their fav'rite way 
 To thofe fam'd manfions where the Sons of Play 
 By trick and rapine (hare a bafe reward ; 
 Shake the falfe dye, and pack the ready card : 
 In folemn tone their errand they proclaim, 
 Their highcommiflion,andtheirSovcrcign'sn3me. 
 
 B2 . \Vith
 
 20 THEDIABOLIAD. 
 
 With joy and wonder ftruck, the Parties rife I 
 " Hell is worth trying for," F******** cries ; 
 Pigeons are left unpluck'd, the game unplay'd, 
 And F forgets the certain Bett he made ; 
 
 E'en S 1 n feels Ambition fire his breaft, 
 And leaves, tylf-told, the fabricated Jeft. 
 
 Welt-pleas'd, th' Infernal Minifters refume 
 Their real forms, and through the midnight gloom, 
 On wide-ftretch'd wings, the eager Claimants bore 
 To the dank darknefs of the Stygian fhore. 
 The reft of Hell's induftrious Band refort 
 To the corrupted Purlieus of the Court ; 
 To lure theStatefman from his deep-lay'd fcheme, 
 To weak the Courtier from his golden dream, 
 And make the C b 1 n defire to hold 
 Hell's weighty Sceptre, for 'tis made of gold. 
 Sure he'd refign for fuch a tempting fee ! 
 HELL'S Sceptre far outweighs the Golden Key ! 
 
 But'
 
 THEDIABOLIAD. 21 
 
 But cautious H ****** * (brinks, when rifles 
 
 arc run, 
 And leaves fuch Honours for his ELDEST SON. 
 
 Now prowling onwards to the noifome caves 
 
 ere PROSTITUTION rules her needy (laves, 
 They tempt the Lordling, by Ambition's charms, 
 :-i the rank pleafures of a Harlot's arms ; 
 TI, vvith the Mortal Croud, they bend their 
 
 flight 
 To the dark realms of everlafting Night. 
 
 Lords of the Chamber, Minifters of State," 
 With Sons of Lords, and Hirelings of the Great ; 
 Men whom the Villain only loves, the Worthy 
 
 hate; 
 
 Follow'd by Pimps, Bawds, Parafites and Whores, 
 In crouds, approach'd Hell's adamantine doors. 
 
 As
 
 22 T H E D I A B O L I A ID. 
 
 As they c;itne onward, McRCUiRYfbe gay * 
 With lively greetings met them on the way ; 
 He was -the briik Srr Clernfiit Cs.'/tvrJ/of dvj day. 
 
 The 
 
 * If the Orthodox Critic fhould here obferve, thai I have 
 thrown a flight upon his Devil, by introducing fo great 
 an Heathen as Mercury to his employment, he will dif- 
 cover, when he lowers his eyes to this part of the page, 
 
 that I have made the cfbfervation before him. But, 
 
 if according to forae of the ancient Chriftian Fathers, 
 his Satanic Male fly was fuppofed, for his own private 
 ends, to concern himfelf with the Heathen Oracles, 
 Sybils and Pythonefies, I may, furely, under their e- 
 fpe&able authority, make him have occafional recourfe 
 to another of the fame family, without the lead de- 
 gradation. Eefules, I had not one of the Rabbinical 
 "Writers within my reach, while 1 was writing this 
 Poem, to give me the name of SATAK'S Gentleman 
 tJfber: fo that, to fave myfelf trouble, which I 
 at all times hate and deleft, I borrowed an ac- 
 quaintance from the Grecian Poets. Again, if my 
 
 Critic will but confider of whom the troop confifted 
 which received fafe conduct from this winged guide, 
 he muft efteem Mercury, who is, (Heathenly fpeaking) 
 the prefiding Genius of rogues, fharpers, &c. as pro- 
 perly introduced to be their conductor. And as an 
 
 Orthodox Critic muft confider all fuch in the light of 
 Heathens, my application to the Pagan Mythology will 
 not appear fo mal apropos as he at fit ft imagined.
 
 THEDIABOLIAD. 43 
 
 The winged Cod thrice wav'd his magic wand! 
 The maflive doors acknowledg'd his command ; 
 And, to the Claimants wond'ring Eyes, difplay'd 
 SATAN in all his gloomy pomp array'd. 
 High, in his throne, on golden columns rear'd, 
 The venerable King of Hell appear'd. 
 In his fight Hand a weighty mace he bore. 
 And on his brow a regal crown he wore ; 
 Begirt around with fpiral flames, which (hcd 
 A filver Uiftre o'er his aged head. 
 Beneath the Throne, arrang'd in order, fat 
 The long eflablifh'd Council of the State. 
 In every hand the flaming torches wave, 
 And caft their fplendor through th' imperial cave. 
 High in the vault the fiery Dragons (hone, 
 And Monfters, whofe dire mape was never knowi 
 To mortal fantafy, when, Reafon flown, 
 Fear fills the mind with fpe&res of her own. 
 With flaky flames the diftant region glow'd, 
 Whofe angry light, in all their horrors, (hew'd 
 
 Thole
 
 J4 THEDIABOLIAD. 
 Thofe fields of fire where guilty Spirits dwell, 
 
 
 
 And in loud ceafelefs (hrieks their anguifh tell, 
 Nor refpit know : Hope cannot enter there, 
 To calm their forrows or to foothe dcfpair. 
 
 With horrid clangor now the clarion founds ; 
 Through the dark dome the j arring thunder bounds. 
 Then rofe the King ; and all th' Infernal Croud 
 With threefold reverence to their Monarch bow'd. 
 Throughout the Court the expecting murmur ran, 
 But foon was hufh'd ; when SATAN thus began. 
 
 " Thoufands of years have pafs'd fince, firft, 
 
 " I fell 
 
 " Into the deep abyfs of flaming Hell ; 
 " And many an age fince my Almighty Foe 
 " Gave me dominion in thefe realms below. 
 " Ambition's Slave, from Heaven I was huiTJ 
 " Down to the depths of This Infernal World. 
 " Tho' Heaven was loft, Ambition ftill poflefs'd 
 " Its darling Empire in my haughty breaft. 
 
 " My
 
 T II E D I A B O L I A D. 25 
 
 " My Tribes, with fruitlcfs expectation chear'd, 
 " And Patriot zeal, this gloomy palace rear'd 
 *' Here fix'd my throne, here fcrme.1 my 
 
 " awful ftate, 
 
 '* And to my will rcfigned their future fate. 
 " But, cloy'd with power, my Ambition's o'er; 
 ** The boafted charms of Empire are no more ! 
 " Hear then my Children, hear your Sire de- 
 
 " clare, 
 
 " Of Hell's dominions He (hall be the Heir, 
 " Whofc part life bore the moft obdurate crimes ; 
 *' Who gave new vigour to degenerate times ; 
 " Ealfe to his God, who every Law defy'd, 
 *' Thief, Traytor, Hypocrite and Parricide ; 
 " La him who claims thcfe Titles as his ow;^, 
 
 " Come forward, prove his claim, and take 
 
 " the crown." 
 
 The Monarch ceas'd ! F # * * foremoft flood 
 And wav'd his hand to hufli the murmuring croud. 
 
 Then
 
 26 T H E D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 Then graceful bow'd around , but, ere he fpoke, 
 SATAN ngam the awful filence broke : 
 
 " Well-meaning Youth ! thy great and noble 
 
 " aim 
 
 ** Deferves remembrance in the rolls of Fame ! 
 " But know, for to thyfelf 'tis yet unknown, 
 " Thefe Characters of 111 thou canft not own. 
 " Within the deep recedes of thy bread 
 " The pregnant feeds of many a virtue reft. 
 " Now baneful pafiions do their place fupply, 
 " And check their progrefs to maturity. 
 " The feverish ardor of difaftrous Game 
 " Burns with a furious, unrelenting flame ; 
 " And daily feeks to quench its parching thirft 
 '* By deeds efteem'd the nobleft and the firft 
 " In Hell's black Calendar. The foul defign 
 " To make another's wealth, by treachery, thine; 
 
 To
 
 THEDIABOL1AD. 77 
 
 ' To charm, with plea-fing arts, the artlefs Heir," 
 " To call tViee friend, -then lay th' un- 
 erring fnare, 
 " Pocket his fleeting gold, and leave him 
 
 " to defpair. 
 
 " But I, who every diftant Age can Fee, 
 " \Vhote keen look kens the vaft Futarity, 
 * KlHpJeasMthy alter'd c1iaraa?er behold, 
 ** No naore by hangry Appetkes control Pd ; 
 ** From every hateful vice and paffion free, 
 " I>ov'd by ttc Gods above and loft to Me ! 
 * 4 Farewet ! Thy well-meant efforts will be 
 
 " vain! 
 '* Cherubs attend to bear theeback again!" 
 
 In order due, VOLPONC next appeared ; 
 Loolc was his hair, unihaven was his beard : 
 O'er his whole face was fpread a yellow hue, 
 BorrowM, perhaps, from fome relenting Je\v 
 
 Not
 
 28 T H E D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 Not anxious to be paid. Gold he had none ; 
 Th' inverted pocket told that all was gone. 
 But ere he made his claim to Hell's rewards, 
 His right hand wav'd aloft the fatal Cards. 
 Then, fmiling, thushefpoke: " All-gracious 
 
 " power ! 
 
 " Who from my natal to the prefent hour, 
 " Didft o'er my life, with foftering care, prcfide, 
 " My Friend, my Guardian, and my faithful 
 
 " Guide ! 
 
 " How weak the Taflt my Actions to review ! 
 " You know them all, dread Sir, they fprung 
 
 " from You ! 
 
 " And now, I truft, 'tis You alone fuggeft 
 " The great, determined purpofe of my breaft, 
 " To try my chance, at this important hour, 
 " And Jlake my Soul againft your fov'reign 
 
 " power 
 
 " Who
 
 THEDIABOLIAD. 29 
 
 ' Who wins have both." " Thy foul's al- 
 
 " ready mine," 
 
 SATAN replied : " and I this day afllgn 
 " Thy earthly duty. Hence, begone, to bait, 
 " With mafliff zeal, a Minifter of State." 
 
 ' Poor C difmifs'd, next comes a noble 
 
 Peer, 
 Grooms, Pimps, and Link-boys, give the triple 
 
 cheer. 
 
 His right hand bore a Horfe-(hoe and a Bit ; 
 His left, a Book by Angehna writ ; 
 To whofe fair pages anxious after fame, 
 His Lordfhip ventur'd to prefix his name. 
 A Wife complain'd that matrimonial dues 
 "Were nightly wafted in the wanton ftews ; 
 A Friend lamented how he was beguil'd, 
 And mcurn'd a ruin'd and forfaken Child ; 
 
 While
 
 30 T H E D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 While two attendant Parfcns boldly (Wore, 
 They never wanted but he paid the Whore : 
 Then loud proclaimed his knowledge in the 
 
 wiles 
 
 Of drabby Drury and of low St. Giles. 
 E'en Saint-like GODBY blafts her eyes, and 
 
 fwears, 
 P s the moft abandon'd of his Peers *. 
 
 Hi* 
 
 This nohle perfon, verging to that time of life when 
 he may fay of the Brothels, " I myfelf have no pleafure 
 " in them," is fond of introducing Gentlemen of the 
 Black Cloth and Character into thefe places, where he 
 enjoys the contemplation of their pleafures, and pays for 
 them. Mrs. Godby's piety fuffers very much upon thefe 
 occafions, and can only be equalled by his L ***' 
 refinement, \\hichisfouniverfally known, that I expeft 
 every day to hear of its being fnug in a proverb. 
 
 It is not impoffible that the fcene of the two M ly ts, 
 Father and Son, may be adied over again, and again, 
 when a certain young Nobleman returns from his tra- 
 vels. 
 
 GoJby's Koflurnals, p. 116. 
 
 A*. B. Th
 
 THE DIABOLIAD. 31 
 
 His Vouchers done, with fimpcr on his cheek 
 
 He filent flood ; for p** cannot 
 fpeak ; 
 
 When the fage Council, with one voice de- 
 clare 
 
 " Rough-riders would difgrace a regal Chair 
 
 Without one Virtue that can grace a name; 
 Without one Vice that e'er exalts to Fame ; 
 The defpicable B** *** next appears, 
 His boforn panting with its ufual fears : 
 He fbives in vain, and fruitlefs proves the art, 
 To hide, with vacant fmile, the treacherous 
 heart. 
 
 TIe 
 
 N. B. The manufcript from which this lafl note is 
 taken, will make its appearance in due time, and unfold 
 fome tranfoclions which the world little thinks of.
 
 32 T H F. D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 The faithful HARRY * (lands not by his fide, 
 His learned Counfel, and his conftant guide ; 
 
 Who 
 
 * This young Nobleman's character is, in every re- 
 
 fpeft, a flriking contrail to his ; but the following 
 
 Anecdote will give a very ftrong explanation of my idea 
 
 concerning him. When Mr. C F propofed him 
 
 tb be elected into one of the fafhi enable clubs, he was 
 
 almott univerfally black-balled. Mr. F , who at 
 
 that time had great intereft there, was much furprifed that 
 his friend ftiould be thus rejected . But as he concluded, 
 and not without reafon, that the univerfal difguft in 
 which the family of his Friend was held had prevented 
 his fuccefs, he propofed him again, with a declaration, 
 on his honour, that Mr. C had not one quality in 
 common with any of his family. The event juflified 
 
 Mr. F 's penetration, on the fecond Ballot not a 
 
 (ingle black-ball appeared againft his friend. 
 
 This Anecdote has been afferted to me as fah But be 
 that as it may, the principle of it is founded in truth, and 
 ferves the purpofe of doing juftice to a mod amiable Cha- 
 racter, whofe g r eat merit the Author of thefe pages, wh 
 Cncerely loves him, is glad to atteft.
 
 T H E D I A B O L I A D. 33 
 
 Who for an hard earn'd, narrow competence, 
 Supplies his tongue with words, his head with 
 
 fcnfe f. 
 
 At length, recovered from his huge affright, 
 He, ftammering, reads the Speech he did not 
 
 write : 
 
 ' Curft with hereditary love of pelf, 
 * I hate all human beings but myfelf; 
 
 C " Crofs 
 
 f- It is not uncommon for an avaricious Father to fad- 
 die a younger Brother for a maintenance on the elder, 
 efpecially if he has a place. And if the latter ftiould 
 poflefs an hereditary bafenefs, he will carry on the fpi- 
 Tit of conditionaJizing, and infift that the former (hall, 
 in return, give him the ufe of his underftanding. It 
 too often happens that elder brothers want fpirit and 
 underflanding, and that younger ones who have both 
 in an eminent degree, fland in need of a provifion. It 
 is hard that Worth and Genius (hould be foGtuated I 
 but this is among the fore evils under the Sun I
 
 34 THEDIABOLIAD. 
 
 " Crofs and perplex my wife, becaufe (he 
 
 prov'd, 
 
 " Poor girl '.not rich enough to be belov'd. 
 " But all return my hate : where'er I go, 
 " My coward eye beholds a ready foe. 
 " And tho' to Earth's extremes my feet I 
 
 " bend, 
 " Thefe arms would ne'er embrace a real 
 
 " friend. 
 " When my breaft throbs with unrelenting 
 
 " grief, 
 
 " No friendly Spirits bring the kind relief. 
 " If I fink down beneath opprefling pain, 
 " Surrounding foes rejoice as I complain. 
 " I'm fcoff'd by thofe, who from my hand 
 
 " have prov'd 
 
 " That kindnefs which would make another 
 " lov'd; 
 
 " Men,
 
 T II F. D I A B O L I A D. 35 
 
 '* Men, who to other Patrols bend iheir 
 ' knee, 
 
 " Are proud of their Ingratitude to me. 
 
 " Thus, without Friends on earth, I humbly 
 " fue 
 
 " To find, my gracious Liege, a Friend in 
 " you. 
 
 " Hated by all, I'm fit to be allied 
 
 ' To your Imperial State!" The King re- 
 plied : 
 
 " If vacant fmiles and hypocritic air 
 " Could form pretcnfions to this fov'reign 
 
 Chair; 
 " If my pale Crown by meannejs could be 
 
 " won, 
 " Who'd have fo fair a claim as H *******'* 
 
 " Son? 
 
 C 2 ' But
 
 3 6 THEDIABOLIAEX. 
 
 " But Meannefs is a Vice which Devils dif- 
 
 ' dain! 
 " Should'ft thou attempt, bafe Mortal, here 
 
 <e to reign, 
 To wield this Sceptre, and to wear my 
 
 ' Crown; 
 * Th' infernal Hoft would rife to caft thee 
 
 " down, 
 " With furious zeal, where outcaft Spirits 
 
 " lie, 
 
 " In the dark dens of gnafhing Infamy. 
 " Such minds as thine, Obferve the truth I 
 
 " tell! 
 c Find neither Friends on EartTty-^nor Friends 
 
 in Hell 
 
 Appall'c*
 
 THEDIABOLIAD. 37 
 
 Appall'd the haplcfs Lordling fneak'd away, 
 And Harpies hifs'd him to the realms of Day *. 
 
 The 
 
 * Several of my friends who were kind enough to 
 approve, and, indeed, enforce the publication of this 
 little Work, feemed to think that I had fruftrated my 
 intention of marking the infignificance of this Character, 
 by giving fo many lines to the delineation of it. But 
 as the bold Strokes are rr.ore eafiiy imitated than the 
 finer pencilling* of nature, thofe colourlefs bad quah- 
 ties which have not fufficient lirength or fpirit to rife 
 into dai ing, manly vice, require a great length of 
 defcription to imprefs them properly on the attention of 
 the Reader. Indeed, it is my ferious opinion, that 
 this man's life would be a profitable leflbn to the world, 
 to prove, that mtannffs $f ffirt't, though unaccompa- 
 nied by any bold, open violations of virtue, will ever 
 be more contemptible, obnoxious, and diftrefling, than 
 any of thofe public vices which are feldom wholly un- 
 connefled with fome fort of principle, and often origi- 
 nate from the fame fource with many virtues. The 
 ebullitions of youth, the fpur of neceffity, the preva- 
 lence of example may hurry to enormities. In thefe 
 cafes, however, the caufe is not always difficult to be 
 removed, and frequently removes itfelf. The eftcds 
 Mill then ceafe, and honour and virtue return. 
 
 But
 
 SS T H E D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 The murmurs hufli'd, the Herald ftraight 
 
 proclaim'd 
 S L--N the witty next in order nam'd. 
 
 But 
 
 But a mean fpirit, as in this example, is a low, 
 fneaking, bafe, fixed propenfity to what is bad, which 
 it loves ; and yet is compelled by its fears to allume the 
 femblance of good, which it hates. It is wholly in- 
 corrigible, and attends the Character it has once poflefT- 
 ed through every degree of ftation and of life ; and is 
 very feldom or never known to rife into momentary cou- 
 rage or fpirit ; unlefs fuicide, to which it has feme- 
 times applied for a difmiffion from univerfal contempt, 
 may be confidered as examples of them. 
 
 But this fubjeft, which I have already extended be- 
 yond the limits of a note, fhall be confidered in a fepa- 
 rate publication, il 1 ultra ted and pro vtd by anecdotes of 
 the Character before me when he was at School , the 
 Univerfity, in France, Ireland, Warwickfhire, ami 
 London j as a School-boy, a Collegian, a Traveller, a 
 Secretary, a Militia-commander, a Hufbar.d, and f 
 fn to the prefcnt times, with collateral relations.
 
 T H F. D I A B O L I A D. 39 
 
 But He was gone to hear the difmal yells 
 
 Of tortur'd Ghofts and fuffcring Criminals. 
 
 Tho* fummon'd thrice, he chofe not to re- 
 turn, 
 
 Charm'd to behold the crackling Culprits 
 burn. 
 
 With GEORGE, all know Ambition muft give 
 place, 
 
 When there's an Execution in the cafe. *. 
 
 Then 
 
 * I would not be guilty of injuflice to any Chara&er. 
 George does not want humanity ! nay, he has an un- 
 common portion of this virtue : it extends even to the 
 gallows -, and is well known to have bedewed his 
 cheeks with tears at the lamentable fate of that piour 
 ffrfonage, commonly called, Sixteen- String Jack. And 
 1 may venture toaflert, that he never faw a man hang'd 
 in hi, life, but when the fport was over, he would 
 have been really happy to have reflored him to life. 
 It requires a kind of knowledge which every-body does 
 not poflefs, to reconcile the apparent contradictions in 
 
 the
 
 40 THE D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 Then in Succelfion came a Peer of words, 
 Well known and honoured in the Houfe of 
 
 Whofp 
 
 the human chara&er. However, I fhall not, at prefent, 
 enter further upon the fubjedl than to obferve, that 
 there are certain propenfities in the mind, which, being 
 long indulged, become irrefiftible, and fland between 
 Men and their beft interefls. All the World knows 
 that Mr. S - is attached to gaming, and that when. 
 he games, he wiflies to win. And there ate many will 
 tell you, that this love of play, when it has taken root, 
 becomes the leading, if not the fole, propenfity of the 
 human breaft. But in the Character before me, there 
 is an evident example of two leading prop;nfities in the 
 fame mind, which, upon certain occafions, form a fpi- 
 rit of accommodation, and blend with each other. This 
 very Gentleman, though he had made a very confi- 
 derable bet that he ftiould not be at a certain execution, 
 was, notwithfianding, difcovered tp be actually pre- 
 fent at the fpefiacle, dreffed like an old woman, in a 
 jofeph and bonnet, and featcd on horfsb.iclc, &c. &c. 
 This is a twofold irrefiftible propenfity ! Neverthelefs, 
 ^f is a man of hunr.anity.
 
 T II E D I A B O L I A D. 41 
 
 Whofe Eloquence all Parallel defies ! 
 
 So SANDWICH fays, and SANDWICH never 
 
 lies. 
 No doubt, the partial Earl delights to fee, 
 
 In this young Lord, his own Epitome. 
 
 
 Behind him came, in Regimentals dreft, 
 
 T*he brazen Gorget hanging on his breaft, 
 Th' obfequious Coufin, ready to obey, 
 Whatever might be the bufinefs of the day. 
 With folemn look the confcious Peer began 
 Thus to addrefs the Military Man : 
 
 " Friend, Coufin, Pimp, or by whatever 
 
 " name 
 " You would be blajled by the trump of 
 
 " Fame, 
 
 " Approach, and lend me now unufual aid I 
 '* You, my brave Soldier, never are afraid, 
 
 " But
 
 42 THEDIABOLIAD. 
 
 " But when the critic brows of Ladies frown : 
 " With thy afliftance, I (hall mount the 
 
 " Throne; 
 " And then, to thcc, my Cox, thefe Powers 
 
 " fhall bend, 
 " Their Monarch's favourite Counfcllor and 
 
 " Friend. 
 
 " Oft at thy curious vice I've flood a- 
 
 " m.-17'd, 
 " While half -fled* d Subalterns . with wonder, 
 
 " grz'd. 
 
 " Of you, their fage Lieutenant, Etijigns learn 
 '* The wcaknefs of all Virtue to difcern ! 
 " You fill their brains with Honour and Re- 
 
 '* nown ; 
 " And teach them how to live-' upon the 
 
 " Tew, 
 
 " To
 
 T II K D I A B O L I A D. 43 
 
 " To whore, to bully, to blafpheme, to 
 
 ** game, 
 " To fcorn the boyifh blufli and honed 
 
 ft fhame ; 
 " An<J having vers'd them in each common 
 
 " evil, 
 " Lead them to Mafques to perfonate the 
 
 Devil : 
 tc Their grateful Parents will your pains re- 
 
 " quite, 
 " And fill the Boxes on an Author's Night. 
 
 " 'Twas you unlock'd a pious Parent's doors 
 " For Panders, Gamefters, Whores, and Sons 
 
 " of Whores; 
 
 " And, with uncommon filial duty blcft, 
 ' Scut her from Hell on earth, in Heaven to 
 " reft. 
 
 " But
 
 44 THEDIABOLIAD. 
 
 ' But to my purpofe. In the world 
 
 " above, 
 
 ** Bound by refembling chara&ers and love, 
 " We liv'd together, and together ftray'd 
 " In Vice's public walk and fecret fhade. 
 " I found thee apt in every artful wile, 
 " Proud to defame, and eager to beguile. 
 " Whene'er I figh'd to praaife a Deceit, 
 " In thee, my Coz, I found the ready Cheat. 
 " Whene'er I wanted Faliehood to fupply 
 " The place of Truth, you found the ready 
 
 Lie. 
 
 " Y/hcn, to give fpirit to fome tedious hour 
 " I wifn'd to lee the Pedant Purfon lower, 
 ** To make the Simple ftare, ihe Virtuous 
 
 '* Your tongue pour'd forth the ready Blaf- 
 " phcmy. 
 
 " Buc 
 
 '
 
 T H E D I A B O L I A D. 45 
 
 *' But now the fccnc is changed ; that farce is 
 
 " o'er, 
 
 " And e'en your Falfehood will affift no more. 
 " Start not at what I fay, wcll-tempcrM 
 
 " Youth! 
 " Be not alarm'd, you now muft fpeak the 
 
 " truth. 
 *' Look not fo pale, 'twill fuit your nature 
 
 < well; 
 " You iy'd on Eartft, and you fyfak truth in 
 
 " Hell. 11 
 
 This chear'd him much, and made his cheek* 
 
 to glow, 
 And fav'd his bofom from the tlweat'ning 
 
 woe ; 
 Which when his Lordfliip favr, in haughty 
 
 tone 
 He thus laid claim to the Infernal Throne.
 
 46 THE D I A B O L I A D. 
 " Is there a guilty deed I have not done ? 
 
 
 
 " What fay you, Co?.?" The Captain an- 
 fwcr'd, " None !" 
 
 " Have I not whor'd myfelf, and made thee 
 *' whore ? 
 
 " Confirm it with an oath !" The Captain 
 fworc. 
 
 " Have I not a&ed every Villain's part ? 
 
 " Have I not broke a Noble Parent's heart? 
 
 " By deeds of ill have I not fecm'd to live ?" 
 
 The Captain gave a bold affirmative. 
 
 ** Do not I daily boaft, how I've betrayed 
 
 4t The tender Widow, and the virtuous Maid ? 
 
 ** Thefe ferious crimes you know, and many 
 " more: 
 
 " Swear, Sir!" By Egypt's Queen the Cap- 
 tain fwore ! 
 
 (The
 
 T H F. D I A B O L I A D. 47 
 
 (The Queen who lur'J him to difgrace his 
 
 cloth, 
 And gave him bread, now ferv'd him fcr an 
 
 oath). 
 
 But as he fpoke, there iflued from the 
 
 croud, 
 * t h e b a f c> t h e crue ^ an j t h e p rou( j . 
 
 And eager cried, " I boaft fuperior claim 
 
 " To Hell's dark Throne, and i, 
 
 " my name. 
 " What, (hall that ftripling Lord contend 
 
 " with me ? 
 
 " I have four Sons as old and bad as he ! 
 " Whate'cr he fwears, I'll fwear he fays, I'll 
 
 " fay! 
 " And look, All-gracious King, my fairs are 
 
 " grey I"
 
 4 3 T H E D I A B O L I A D. 
 
 Th' aftonifti'd Demons on each other gaz'd, 
 And SATAN'S felf fat filent and amaz'd ; 
 Revolving, in his dubious mind, the flate 
 And crimes of each afpiring Candidate ; 
 When clanking chains, and doleful fhrieks were 
 heard, 
 
 If s. 
 
 And injur'd * *7^fe-^Vs raving Ghoft ap- 
 
 /' y 
 
 pear'd : fl 
 
 His bofom heav'd wMi many a torturing figh, 
 And bloody dreams gufh'd forth from either 
 
 eye. 
 
 With 
 
 * See the Letters of Junius, where that able Writer 
 has obferved, with his ufual fpirit and good fenfe, upoa 
 this guilty tranfadion. Junius felt for human nature, 
 and would not fuffer his pen to trace all the particulars 
 of it. To degrade the Criminal, they fhould be re- 
 membered ; but for the fake of humanity, they had 
 better be forgotten.
 
 THEDIABOLIAD. 49 
 
 With piteous look he did a Tale unfold, 
 Black with fuch horrid deeds, that, being told, 
 Hell's craggy vaults with acclamations ring, 
 And joyful fhouts of-y^'1 *-** (hall 
 
 
 FINIS.
 
 THE 
 
 DIABO-LADY.
 
 THE 
 
 D I A B O-L A D Y: 
 
 O R, 
 
 A MATCH IN HELL. 
 
 A 
 
 POEM. 
 
 DEDICATED TO THE 
 
 WORST WOMAN 
 
 
 
 I N 
 
 HER MAJESTY'S DOMINIONS. 
 
 O Faireft of Creation, laft and befl 
 Of all God's works, creature in whom excelled 
 Whatever can to fight or thought be formed, 
 Holy, divine, good, amiable, or fweet ! 
 How art thou loft 1 
 
 MILTON. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed : And D w u i, i N Reprinted. 1777.
 
 DEDICATION 
 
 T O T H E 
 
 WORST WOMAN 
 
 I N 
 
 HER MAJESTY'S DOMINIONS. 
 
 MADAM, or, MY LADY, 
 
 I am happily but little ac- 
 quainted with Ladies in high life, 
 I confefs myfelf perfectly ignorant 
 either of your rank or demerits; 
 
 which
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 which has reduced me to the auk- 
 ward neceffity of this vague and in- 
 definite addrefs. The character 
 above defcribed wiH, no doubt, be 
 feverally and particularly applied, 
 according to the World's guefs, 
 knowledge, or malevolence; and a 
 certain confcioufnefs in fome female 
 breafts, may poflibly make them 
 conclude themfelves to be the per- 
 fons obliquely aimed at in this 
 place ; but I hereby declare, that I 
 ha& no fpecific Female in view when 
 1 fat down to write this Dedication; 
 and (hall therefore refer my fair 
 Readers to the known Adage of, 
 .^V// capit^ ilk fecit j which, for their 
 fakes, I ihall tranflate, by a fynoni- 
 
 mous
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 mcrus Englifh Proverb, Whom the 
 Cap fts, een let them wear it. 
 
 The following Verfcs, be affured 
 of it, Madam, are the firft Jifue- 
 Italian Lines 1 ever compofed, in 
 my life ; but being a fort of Knight- 
 errant in my Nature, I confefs I 
 felt myfelf confiderably piqued, for 
 the honour of your fex, upon pe- 
 rufing a Poem called The DIABO- 
 LIAD, lately publifhed ; and not 
 feeing any manner of reafon, why 
 or wherefore Women have not as 
 c;ood a right, where % equal merits 
 appear, to be damned to everlaft- 
 ing fame, as well as Men, I have 
 thus boldly ventured to enter the 
 
 lifts
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 lifts of Chivalry againft that par- 
 tial Author, and meafure my lance 
 with his, in the extenfive Campus 
 Alartius of Satire. 
 
 " Tremble, thou wretch ! 
 
 " That haft within thee undi- 
 
 " vulged crimes, 
 u Unwhipt of juftice!" 
 
 We neither of us pretend to ftile 
 ourfelves Poets (I fpeak for my- 
 felf, at leaft) ; fo that to carry on 
 the allufion above made, we may 
 be confidered rather as Squires, than 
 Knights, in this fpecies of literature. 
 But as Indignation is faid to in- 
 
 fpirc
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 fpire Verfe, we have equally, and 
 1 think commendably too, expreffed 
 our refentment againft the nume- 
 rous vices and grofs immoralities of 
 the times. 
 
 The example of Superiors is a 
 a matter of great moment to the 
 inferior clafTes of mankind. The 
 vices of the Great naturally de- 
 fcend ; but thofe of the Vulgar fel- 
 dom rife. People of rank muft 
 floop to them, ere they receive the 
 infection. The depravity of a fin- 
 gle Peer or Peerefs, about St. James's, 
 diffufcs more poifonous effects thro* 
 the Town, than all the profligacy 
 of St. Giles's. 
 
 Poffibly,
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 Polfibly, the corrupt manners of 
 the prefent age may not exceed 
 thofe of former times ; but there 
 is this peculiar diflinclion to be 
 obferved between them, that, upon 
 a comparifon, the purity, virtue 
 and decorum, of our King and 
 Queen form fo ftriking a Con- 
 trail with the Corruption of man- 
 ners among the generality of our 
 Nobility, and other refpeclable ranks 
 of life, in this kingdom, as may 
 render the Modern Libertinifm and 
 Indecencies of this Nation, more 
 apparently remarkable, than thofe 
 of our Predecefibrs. Charles and 
 his Court were of a Piece 
 George and his are of a quite dif- 
 ferent Pattern. 
 
 The
 
 DEDICATION'. 
 
 The ftri&eft and moil compiv- 
 henfive laws of Men, cannot be 
 fo aptly framed as to apply a re- 
 medy, or fcourge, to many of the 
 crimes and enormities daily prac- 
 tifed in the world. Satire, there- 
 fore, is an ufeful Supplement to 
 legiflation. When a Culprit ef- 
 capes out of the hands of juitice, 
 he fhould always be hanged in 
 effigy. This refource, then, ia 
 fome fort, ferves to fupply the Of- 
 fice of CENSOR, which it was 
 thought neceffary to efiablifh in 
 the antient Common- wealth of 
 Rome. 
 
 The (harp pen of Aretin once 
 
 CCS 
 
 of 
 
 made moft of the Sovereign Princes
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 of Europe his tributaries; and the 
 keen Iambics of Archilochus and 
 Hipponax, who, without vanity I 
 may fay, were not better Poets 
 than we, are faid to have driven 
 the pcrfons who were the fub- 
 jecls of them, to fuch acls of 
 defperation, as to hang and drown 
 themfelves. I fhould be forry to 
 hear of fo tragical an effect being 
 produced by the lines of my fpi- 
 rited Compeer or me ; for though 
 
 
 
 I bear hatred to vice, I harbour 
 no malevolence, even to the vi- 
 cious ; but if our ftriclures fhould 
 conduce towards the reformation, 
 the contrition, or repentance, of 
 the feveral objects of our reproof, 
 we may be faid to have perform- 
 ed
 
 DEDICATION. 
 
 ed fome fervice, at leaft, to the 
 Common-wealth of Morals. Such 
 as they are, you are mod heartily 
 welcome to them ; and that you 
 may receive the full benefit of 
 their intention is the fincere wifh 
 of, 
 
 MADAM, or, My LADY, 
 
 Your moft humble 
 
 And obedient Servant, 
 
 BELPHEGOR,
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 BY THE 
 
 EDITORS. 
 
 W HEN the following Poem was put into 
 our hands, we thought it necelTary to write 
 Notes on fome of the paflages, in order to 
 render the Text more clear and intelligible ; 
 for though the Author, in his Preface, takes 
 the liberty of comparing himfelf to Juvenal, 
 we are of opinion that he more refemblcs 
 Perftus ; whofe writings are both more fevere, 
 and obfcure. But in fome places, indeed, he 
 has fpoken rather too plain ; which has in- 
 duced us to leave out feveral of his lines, as 
 may be fecn by the afteriflcs, in fome of the 
 following pages.

 
 THE 
 
 DIABO-LADY. 
 
 POEM.
 
 THE 
 
 DIABO-LADY. 
 
 Nee tibi regnandi vcniat tarn dlra cupido ; 
 Quamvis Elyfios mlretur Gracia compos, 
 Nee repetitafequi curet Proferpina matrem. 
 
 VIRG. Georg. I. 
 
 * now fcated on the Infernal Throne, (a) 
 Thought it not good the DEVIL fhould be alone ; 
 
 And 
 (a) See The Diaboliad, latt line.
 
 70 THE PI ABO-LA DT. 
 
 And fo refolved to marry, if a Wife, 
 
 Fit Confort, could be found, to match his life. 
 
 " Shall I, faid he, \vho ne'er obeyed a God, 
 *' Obferve his precepts in my own abode ; 
 " Reftrain my ab within the Chriftian fcope, 
 " And whore in celibacy, like the POPE ? 
 " What tho' I'm head of that Hierarchal 
 
 " Scheme, 
 " Which deems it fin in Prieft to quench their 
 
 " flame 
 
 " In Marriage rites ; yet Modern Records tell, 
 " Tho' made in Heaven, they are confirmed in 
 
 '* Hell. 
 
 " Since fuch the prefent ftate of Wedlock, I, 
 *' As Prieft and Devil, will the adventure try. 
 " Beijdes the Pagan fyftem is my Creed, 
 '* And in that antient ritual all may read, 
 
 " That
 
 T H E D I A B O - L A D Y. 71 
 
 " That Pluto our great Prototype, had wed 
 " A mortal female to his throne and bed." (b) 
 
 He faid ; then fent his Imps thro' Earth to 
 
 rove, 
 
 And chufe a Paramour for SATAN'S love 
 The ready Minifters of Hell's commands 
 Obedient fly, and take their feveral (lands 
 At COURT, CORNELY'S, and the COTERIE ; 
 Where Vice, more vicious by effrontery, 
 Fearlefs, unblufliing, braves the eternal laws 
 
 Of 
 
 (b) The Poet may poflfibly be reprehended here, by 
 fome Critics or Divines, for the confufion of theology 
 that may be objected to this pafljge. But as the good 
 old proverb fays, that Example is better than precept, we 
 (hall refer his defence, firft, to Arifio, or Taflb, I for- 
 get which, for I am but a poor fcholar in the baflard 
 Latin Authors, where the Heathen mythology ami the 
 Chr .ftian fyftem are mixed together in the fame fcene ; 
 and, next, to Ruben?, who in his Luxemburgh Gallery 
 has made Hymen and St. Denis (\ think it is) jointly 
 prefide at the rcarrwge of Henry IV.
 
 72 THEDIABO-LADY. 
 
 Of GOD and MAN, to aid the DEVIL'S caufe. 
 From thefe reforts the Imps of SATAN chofe 
 So hopeful a Seraglio, that 'twould pofe 
 The DEVIL himfelf to judge the equal claims 
 To Hell's Sultanalhip, between fuch Dames ; 
 Who eager all to obtain Infernal fway, 
 In order thus prefer their feveral plea. 
 
 Firft * appeared, and to convi&ion fwore, 
 Her fmalleft crime was that of being Whore ; 
 Adultery (he added to her plan, 
 Defying equally both GOD and Man ; 
 In forgery and perjury owned fuch art, 
 She palmed the Gold, while others paid the 
 
 fmart : 
 
 And left her juft pretences fhould be vain, 
 The Adelphl P * * (c) vouch the tragic fccne. 
 .*: SATAN 
 
 M Sir T * * F * * too might have fufficiently fup- 
 ported the fame evidence ; but, by his not being men- 
 tioned in this caufe, 'tis to be fuppofed that his a vocations 
 in 'Change- Alley had prevented his appearance yet in
 
 THE D I A B 0-L A D Y. 73 
 
 SAT AN- with pleafure heard the fhocking talc, 
 But inward grieved fuch merits there fhculd fail ; 
 " The Vice defeats itfelf," replied the DEVIL, 
 ** That makes vcamples to deter from evil." 
 
 Next * * forward came, as frail as fair, 
 And urged her futt with confidential air : 
 " Tho' nobly born," (he cried, "and high in life, 
 " A fpotlefs Maiden, and an honoured Wife, 
 " Yet fcorning thefe, I fpurned fuch humble 
 
 " fame, 
 
 And boldly facrificed a Matron's name : 
 " My firft amour was with a Youth of Blood ; (J) 
 '* But here I would not have it underftood, 
 
 " That 
 
 (ef) Left the equivocation of Titles might lead our 
 readers to millake the perfon, we think it proper to ac- 
 quaint them that this Galant was not the hero of C * * *, 
 but the one who going to bed by bimfelf, was furpri/ed, 
 when he awoke, At fading himfelfby bimfelf quiff alone. 
 S.v- certain Love Letters upon record.
 
 7 4 THEDIABO-LADY. 
 
 " That 'twas Ambition made me aim fo high, 
 " NO 'twas to aggrandize my infamy ; 
 " I chofe, to (hew all fenfc of virtue loft, 
 " A Swain who nought but pedigree could 
 
 " boaft : 
 " Afk treach'rous D * *, if you doubt my 
 
 " word, 
 " Who firft abetted, then approved (e) me 
 
 '* whored, 
 " And flampt the ihame flie (/) had herfelf 
 
 " procured. 
 " A firft amour is fcldom found the laft, 
 " From hand to hand thro' low intrigues I 
 
 paft ; 
 
 Till 
 
 (S) One of the fenfes of this verb is, in a legal fenfe, 
 to accufe, to inform again fl, cr ccnvifl -, fiom whence the 
 Noun Apfrti-er. This note had been unneceflary, if 
 Lexiphanes among the other neglects in his pompous 
 Didlionary, had not left this article imperfect. 
 
 (/) A certain Lidy of qualify who was a confidant in 
 the amour, and afterwards proved the Crim. Con. in 
 Court.
 
 T H K D I A B O - L A D Y. 75 
 
 " Til! fatiating the public eye, lefs rare, 
 *' I ccafed at length to be the public care, (g ) 
 " Yet being refolved thro' all mankind to rove, 
 " I, when negle&ed, proffered love for love ; (A) 
 " And tho* an Earl's Coronet I dill pofleft, 
 " Corona Vtnerls (/) was my favourite Creft." 
 
 She paufed ; when SATAN, with decifion 
 
 nice, 
 
 Deemed thcfe but petty -larcenies in vice ; 
 She pilfered from herfelf, flie injured none, 
 And therefore was unfit to grace his throne. 
 
 " Thy 
 
 () Publica cura an expreffion madeufc of l.y Horace, 
 foraCourtefan, L. II. Od. 8. 
 
 (b) Tliis was apparently the cafe at a late Mafquc- 
 rade. 
 
 (/') This is not the Myrtle Wreath With which the 
 Venus Arnica crowns her Votaries, but a certain Front- 
 let, with which her Baftard Sifler, the Vemu Mtretrix, 
 is ufcd to fligrnatize her Devotees.
 
 76 THE PI A BO-LADY. 
 
 " Thy deeds have been fo very mean, he cried, 
 " They but prefer you to be * * 's bride : (k) 
 " Befides, to credit your firft Shame we'reloath, 
 " As being acquitted on a Bible-Oat h" (1} 
 
 The next that rofe was wanton * * *, 
 With front aflured, and drclled en Cavalier : 
 A ** (m) led her forth, Jack H*** (n) 
 
 followed, 
 
 \Vhile Grooms and Jockeys in full chorus hal- 
 looed. 
 
 The tale fhe told 'twere needlefs to repeat, 
 'Twas MefJTalina's hiftory compleat ; 
 
 She 
 
 (*) SeeTheDiaboliad,page 31, ad paragraph. 
 
 (/) The Story is upon record, and therefore requires 
 no note. 
 
 (m) A foreign Count with whom fhe had her firft 
 public amour. 
 
 () A poftilion with whom (he had her fecond.
 
 THE D I A B O-L A D Y. 77 
 
 She loved to ride, and to be ridden too, 
 And came prepared to give the Devil hit due. 
 
 Old (o) trembled at fuch vigorous boaft, 
 And quick difmiffed her from the Stygian 
 
 coaft. 
 
 To *'s Cafe in point, (p) he thus alludes, 
 " Rough Riders, male or female, HELL ex- 
 
 " eludes." 
 
 Then with a high and all-commanding air, 
 Slowly advancing, * * *, once fair, 
 Appeared in Uiflant view. The Cyprian Dame, 
 Efcorted by her MARS, (y) afpired to claim 
 
 The 
 
 (o) S;e the Diaboliad, laft pnge, and laft line. 
 (/) See. the Diaboliad, p. 31, firft paragraph. ' 
 
 (?) We confefs ourfelvcs to be in doubt whether 
 the Poet alludes to general C*, or to the Secretary at 
 War, in this paffage.
 
 78 THEDIABO-LADY. 
 
 The vacant Crown ; but haply on her way, 
 Perceiving in a nock fome Imps at play, 
 She turned afide, to learn fome fleight of hand, 
 To cut, or fhuffle, and the game command ; 
 Some new device, fome yet-unpracfifed cheat, 
 To cozen, pilfer, and the Rook compleat. 
 *********** 
 ********** 
 This gave advantage to a rival Quean 
 To take her place, and prior audience gain. 
 
 * now preffed before, and claimed defert, 
 For having broke a too fond hufband's heart ; 
 Yet to the joys of marriage-rites dill true, 
 Ere one was dead, fhe had engaged with 
 
 two: 
 
 The firft fhe jilted, being thought too tame, 
 Preferred the Bully of her ticklifh fame, 
 
 And
 
 THEDIABO-LADY. 79 
 
 And like ghu'teria in Cervantes' Talc, 
 
 The bleeding B'ifil wed, Camacho ( r ) left to 
 
 rail : 
 
 ********** 
 *#*****#*** 
 But timorous * *, in a fore affright, 
 Hearing the defperate prowefs of her Knlg'it, 
 Replied, " I dare not to this match agree, 
 " Who fights my Priefts, (/) would play the 
 " De-oil with me." 
 
 Then 
 
 (r) And his railing has had good effe&, we hear, 
 as the Don has got ten thoufand pieces, and a good 
 riddance into the bargain, for a releafe of contrail. 
 This is the fecond Suitor this Heroine bought off. The 
 f.rft was one to whom ftie had been affianced by her 
 father's will, and \\hopioufly attending to the advice 
 of Solomon, Leave off Gcntenficn befcre it be meddled 
 I'-'itk, remitted his claim upon that Condition. 
 
 ( t ) This alludes to a late extraordinary Duel ; but 
 
 we
 
 8o THE D I A B O-L A D Y. 
 
 Then next moved forward, waddling on her 
 
 flumps, 
 
 A weight to put poor Atlas to his trumps ; 
 A Dame that late had puzzled heraldry 
 To fay what Alias it mould ftile her by ; 
 Who, had (he been but born in days of 
 
 yore, 
 
 Would have given Hercules one labour more ; 
 For fure no mortal Might for her was able, 
 But his who cleanfed the foul Augean Stable. 
 
 By 
 
 we cannot fee why the Poet has taken the liberty of 
 putting the Noun into the Plural Number here; for 
 Ihe Member of the Church Militant in that martial 
 flrife, is but one; and we cannot fuppofe our Author 
 meant to compliment him with the name of Legion 
 Nor is that Reverend Perfon yet in poffeflion of Plu- 
 ralities, either. In our Second Edition perhaps we 
 may be able to explain this matter further.
 
 THE DIABO-LADY. 81 
 
 By Nature wanton, falfe, and prone to ill, 
 Beauty (he had, and wicked wit at will ; 
 Confident ftill in Vice, from firft to laft, 
 Thro fcencs of many-coloured (t) life fhe part. 
 Not brooking long in amorous flames to 
 
 burn, 
 She whored or wedded, as it ferved her 
 
 turn ; 
 
 She married and unmarried as fhe pleafed, 
 While Lords (u) and Doctors Commons flood 
 
 amaz'd I 
 
 But now grown wifer, (he refolv'd to fix 
 Her feat of empire on the banks of Styx ; 
 
 F But 
 
 (/) An Epithet of Do&or Johnfon's, in his Pro- 
 logue to the opening of Drury-Lane Theatre. 
 
 ( ) The Houfe of Lords.
 
 82 THEDIABO-LADY. 
 
 But firft enquired, " Are any here who knew 
 " A Devil on Earth, whom Men call Lt 
 
 Boiteux? (x) 
 tf For vengeance on him, even to Helfs- 
 
 ** gates (y) I come; 
 " And know, my Liege, I'm juft arrived 
 
 " from Rome: (z) 
 
 " On 
 
 (x) Our Ariftophanes, or Devil upon Tiuo Sticks, 
 with whom this Lady held a fort of Mountebank Cor- 
 refpondence, upon the occafion of a Piece of his then 
 coming out, in which fome part of her private hiftory 
 of public notoriety, was to be exhibited on the ftage. 
 
 (_y) The Author, we fuppofe, meant here to allude 
 to one of her Letters upon the above occafion ; but he 
 is miftaken in the paflage; the Lady did not promife 
 to carry her complaifance fo far. As well as we can 
 recolledt, ftie only mentioned that fhe would attend 
 him to Tyburn, and then leave him to (hift for himfelf, 
 and go to the Devil bis own ivajr. 
 
 ( 2 ) She had lately a villa near that City, and 
 lived in gteat intimacy with the Pope.
 
 THE D I A B 0-L A D Y. 83 
 
 " On earth he made my Hell ; and have 
 
 " not I, 
 " As Satan's Queen, (a] a right to make 
 
 " him fry ? 
 " What mufic to my ears, to hear him 
 
 *' And make his Trip to Calais, (b) one to 
 
 " Hell! 
 " Above he 'fcaped my utmoft fpite and 
 
 " power, 
 *' Grant me revenge, I afk no other Dower ! 
 
 Fa " And 
 
 (a) This expreffion was rather premature She 
 was bat prefumptive Confort. But, perhaps, fhe 
 thought flic might do in -Hell as (he had done on 
 Earth, and marry whom flie pleafed, right or wrong. 
 
 ( b ) .This Piece was afterwards reprefented ; but 
 whether through fear, favour, or fee, was fo garbled, 
 as foon to fink into oblivion.
 
 84 THEDIABO-LADY. 
 
 " And reft my Suit for juftice, on this 
 
 " hope, 
 
 *' That I am recommended by the Pope." (r) 
 Who faw and heard her pleading, muft con- 
 
 fefs, 
 Sh' had Faljiaj^s flefti, and wit, and wicked- 
 
 nefs ; 
 Tho' fome there were who thought her wanton 
 
 | 
 
 plight 
 
 Refembled more Doll Tear -Sheet, than the 
 .Knight, 
 
 Yet 
 
 (c) Thefe two Potentates have ever been in flrift 
 confederacy together; and his infallible Holinefs has 
 fent more fouls to SATAN'S empire, by his pardons, 
 absolutions and indulgences, than ever were difpatched 
 thither from the Scaffold or the Gallows.
 
 THEDIABO-LADY. 85 
 
 Yet SATAN cried, " Thy claim I mud 
 
 deny, 
 " For want of one Vice more, HypocrU 
 
 " fy ; (*) 
 
 " Your barefaced Sinners are not worth my 
 
 " notice, 
 " Demure pretending jSaints, koc ejl in vo- 
 
 tit. (f) 
 
 ' Then 
 
 (</) This was the anfwer of the late LordcChefter- 
 field, to a profligate Parfon who was recommended 
 to him as a Chaplain, once, when he was going 
 AmbafTador to ^be States. There were fcandalous 
 perfons in thofe times, it feems, as well as in the pre- 
 fenf ones. 
 
 (e) This is a Sentence from Horace, but fclfeljr 
 quoted. The Verb Subftantive Sum is in the preter- 
 imperfeft tenfe there, but turned into the prefent time 
 heie. This is one of the vices of verfe, which, like the 
 tyranny of Procrulles, lengthens or (hortens the mem- 
 bers,
 
 6 T H E D I A B O -L A D Y. 
 
 " Then back return, re - wed your former 
 
 " Peer, 
 " And tafte an Hell on earth, ere you come 
 
 " here." 
 
 The Court was now diflurbed. A jovial 
 
 troop 
 
 Of female libertines appeared en groupc ; 
 O , Ij , L , D ' , 
 
 H , T , and a Huncjred more ; 
 
 Which noify Amazons made fuch a riot, 
 That SATAN thought 't had been a Polim 
 Diet. 
 
 " Zounds 1" 
 
 bers, according as they fuit its own meafure. But 
 poflibly our Author, who is an adept in metaphyfics, 
 may reply, that there is no diftin&ion of times or 
 tsnfes, m the Region of Spirits the pad, the prefent, 
 and the future being all the inflant now, among immor- 
 ns.
 
 THE DIABO- LADY. 87 
 
 " Zounds !" quoth he, in a rage, " whence 
 
 " this abufe ? 
 " Call up my guards What ! is all Hell broke 
 
 " loofe?" 
 
 The deafened Cryer thrice proclaimed, Teil 
 And Imps and Implings (/) gave a general 
 
 hifs. 
 
 Silence at laft obtained, each ftrove to 
 
 mew 
 Her feveral right to rule the roafl below ; 
 
 'Till 
 
 (/ ) We have looked for this diminutive of a dimi- 
 nutive, in Johnfon's Di&ionary, in vain. We are, 
 therefore, at a lofs for fufficient authority to fupport the 
 word, except we may fuppofe it an allufion to the 
 vulgar expreffion, which is fometimes applied to a 
 demure Sinner, that he is ai innocent as a Devil tf 
 Tivo Years old.
 
 88 THE DIABO LADY. 
 
 'Till SATAN tired with prate, thus made "I 
 reply ; 1^ 
 
 " Your claims fo like, and equal are, that I 
 " Can fee no choice, except Polygamy : J 
 *' But when my future Queen takes ftate upon 
 
 " her, 
 
 '* Ye (hall be all preferred to Maids of Ho- 
 "nour" (g) 
 
 The fcene now fhifted, on the ftage ap- 
 pears 
 
 The Sock and Buflun Heroines, linked in 
 pairs ; 
 
 () Here the Devil feerns to have been a little out, 
 in the point of Etiquette; for as this illuflrious groupe 
 are all Matrons, he could only appoint them as Ladies 
 rf the Bed Chamber. 

 
 THE DIABO- LADY. 89 
 
 B and Y firft trail the purple train ;^ 
 
 Next A and B intervene, 
 
 'TVixt Y and B , who clofe the 
 
 Scene. 
 
 Their Plea was modeft, which is fomething 
 
 rare, 
 
 In any Modern male or female Player ; (h) 
 For, not prefuming on their own demerits, 
 Their puny Vices, in this land of fpi- 
 
 Titty 
 
 They only claim'd, that having a&ed Queens 
 On COVENT GARDEN and old DRURY'S 
 fcenes, 
 
 And 
 
 () Our Author's Sarcafra here is, in general, too 
 true; for we know but few exceptions to the re- 
 mark. 

 
 po T H E D I A B O-L A D Y. 
 
 And being Shadows, in the mirnic (how, 
 Their rank they challenged in the Shades be- 
 below ; 
 
 And thought themfelves intitled to obtain 
 An equal dignity in PLU T o's reign. ( / ) 
 SATAN, who has wit and humour, if he'd 
 
 (hew it, 
 
 (For who but him made ROCHESTER a 
 Poet? 
 
 Or 
 
 (/') A poetical licence again! See our former Note, 
 upon a fimilar pafiage, in p. 2. But probably the Au- 
 thor meant to be critical, in this place, by making a 
 diftinclion here between the imaginary Tartarus of the 
 Pagan Creed, and the real Hell of the Chriftian Be- 
 lief. In the firft, Souls were but Shadow, which was 
 too metaphyfical a notion to fway the multitude. But 
 the latter do^rine tells us, that we (hall pick up our 
 Crumbs again at the day of judgment, in order to re- 
 ceive corporal ' punijbmcnt \ This is fenfible, fubftantial, 
 and edifying.
 
 THE DIABO- LADY. 91 
 
 Or who the Author of the Hcnriade (k) 
 Infpired to write the filthy Puccllade ? (/) 
 Or inftigatedthe Diabolade)? (m) 
 Thus, with a fly, Sardonic fmile, replied : 
 " Your claim, fair Puppets, muft be here de- 
 " nied; 
 
 For 
 
 (*) M. Voltaire. 
 
 (/) La Pucelle <C Orleans, or, the Maid of Orleans. 
 
 (m) Ibe Diaboladft for The Diabolial. The firft 
 ftiould have been the Title, by all rules of Derivati- 
 on. 'Tis a Subllantive, and the latter is an Adjeftive. 
 J)iabolia</."j, d<t, dum. Befides the juflnefs of the al- 
 teration in the Word, our Author might have had a 
 further intereft in it, alfo, as his ov\n Title of Diabo- 
 Lady derives more fairly from one word than the 
 otl.er.
 
 92 THE DIABO-LADY. 
 
 " For hear a truth, a truth for once I'll tell : 
 " Whate'er your ftate, while yet on earth ye 
 
 " dwell, 
 " Your Green-room Dolls are Kitcfien Maids 
 
 " in Hell." () 
 
 At length with dimpling cheek, and leering 
 
 eye, 
 
 Long noted in the rolls of Infamy, 
 * * ftept forth and claim'd the vacant crown, 
 For every crime that bears in Hell renown. 
 
 Her 
 
 (n) This is meant in Oppofition to Maids of Honour, 
 
 above-mentioned; ashe did not think their fiation or 
 
 I 
 
 character in life, entitled them to any higher office 
 in the Houfthold of the Pandtmcnium.
 
 THE D I A B O-L A D Y. 93 
 
 Her argument (he thus maintained with force, 
 Recounting deeds of blame from bad to 
 
 worfe : 
 " Tho* bleft with beauty, rank, and powers to 
 
 engage, 
 " To charm in Youth, and win Time-honoured (o) 
 
 age; 
 
 " Yet ftill ambitious of a nobler aim, 
 " I Squandered beauty, dignity, and fame, 
 " To earn thy notice, thy loved Empire own, 
 " And, jure infernali, (hare thy throne 
 " Falfe to my hufband's bed, I fcorned to 
 
 rove 
 
 " Thro' common guilt, but chofe inceftuous 
 " love 5 
 
 " I drove 
 
 (o) An Epiihet borrowed from Shakefpeare, in Rich- 
 ard II.
 
 94 THE D I A B O- L A D r. 
 
 " I drove him to diftra&ion and defpair, 
 " And then removed a. Sifter and her heir ; 
 " To make Succefllon fure, and feal the deed, 
 " Which helped my fpurious iflue to fuc- 
 " ceed(/>) 
 
 ************ 
 *********** 
 
 " Of favours profligate and nothing nice, 
 " In many another mean ignoble vice ; 
 
 " I gamboled, 
 
 (/>) This is an old Story ; and we confefs that we 
 agree in the fame Charity with the good old Woman, 
 who, hearing of the Pajfion, one Sunday at Church, 
 faid, that, as it ivasfo long ago,Jbe hoped in the Lord that 
 it r was not true.
 
 THEDIABO-LADY, 95 
 
 " I gamboled, and I gambled deep at play, 
 
 " And raifcd finances in lefs legal way ; 
 
 " I fweated gold, ( q ) and praSifed every 
 
 " cheat, 
 " Which, known to thee, I need not here 
 
 " repeat. 
 " My deeds with thine compared, in every 
 
 art, 
 
 " Prove me in all thy worthy counterpart: 
 " In fine, to crown my merits, you mall find 
 " I'm the reverfe of her you left behind : 
 " Nay more, to fhew me fit to fhare thy 
 
 " fway, 
 " Behold, my Liege, my locks, like thine, arc 
 
 grey, (r) 
 
 Father 
 
 (q) Another obfolete Story, 
 (r) See the Diaboliad,,page 47.
 
 $6 THE DIABO- LADY. 
 
 ' Father of Lies ! accept my proffered hand, 
 ' What richer portion canft thou now de- 
 
 " mand ; 
 " For e'en to all the Ruflias mou'dft thou- 
 
 " rove, 
 " I equal CATHERINE, both in hate and 
 
 " love ; 
 
 " And were SEMIRAMIS herfelf alive, 
 " With her in deeds of darknefs I dare ftrive." 
 
 The liftening Imps with wonder flood 
 
 amazed, 
 
 And at each period fubtler fulphur blazed ; 
 While at a diftance, on the Elyfian Plains, 
 V7here even the Bleft re-aft their former 
 
 fcenes 
 
 Of mortal life, was feen in geflure wild, 
 A mwrnful Mother "weeping <?er her child. (/) 
 
 The 
 
 (/) Seepage 77, Line 10.
 
 T H E D I A B O - L A D Y. 9 
 
 The aftonifh'd Court fat filent all the while, 
 SAT AN grinned horrible a ghajllyjmile ; (/) 
 Then cried, " Refolved I fwear by Sacred 
 
 "Sty*, ' 
 
 ' On thy alliance my firm choice I fix." 
 The nuptial torches yield a brimftone flame, 
 And Heralds are commanded to proclaim, 
 With ^Etna's thunders, and infernal Yell, 
 " * * is crowned unrivalled Queen of Hell !" 
 
 (0 Grinned btrribly, &c. MlLTON. 
 
 FINIS.
 
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