i iiill llllll lilillllilill: wm wm H THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES GIFT OF COMMODORE BYRON MCCANDLESS H I Jl R A S BY ML M ITir L M °" ^^-^^rrsTw^-'"-'"" TOMo I. I Non deeriuit fortafse vitilitioatores, qui faliuunienl u r. |>:(rlini K-viores else iiu^as, tjuaiii tit TheoloiStim deceimt , paHiiii mordacitn-fs. (|u:uu u1 christiaiiBe cotiveiiiaiit iiiodestise . /•'.//I.iiii . .M('/-i/r t/iiiiii.pfti/iff. oKbon Printed bv X . Rickaby MT)C CXCTTT HUDIBRAS, A POEM, IN THREE CANTOS. BY SAMUEL BUTLER. VOL. I. PART I. LONDON: PRINTED BY T. RICKABY, FOR J. EDWARDS, N" 78, PALL-MALL. 1793- O N SAMUEL BUTLER, EsQ^ Author of HUDIBRAS. X HE life of a retired fcholar can furnifli but little matter to the biographer : fuch was the chara6ler of Mr. Samuel Butler, Author of Hudibras. His father, whofe name like- wife was Samuel, had an eftate of his own of about ten pounds yearly, which ftill goes by the name of Butler's Tenement, a Vignette of which may be feen in the Title-page of the firft Volume : he held, likewife, an eftate of three hundred pounds a year under Sir William RufTell, Lord of the manor of Strenfham, in Worcefterfliire.* He was not an ignorant farmer, but wrote a very clerk-like hand, kept the regifter, and managed all the bufmefs of the parifh under the direc- * This information came from Mr. Grefley, Redtor of Strenfliam, from the year 1706 to the year 1773, when he died, aged 100 ; fo that he was born fevcn years before the poet died. 11 ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ tion of his landlord, near whofe houfe he lived, and from whom, very probably, he and his family received inftruc- tion and alliftance. From his landlord they imbibed their principles of royalty, as Sir William was a moft zealous royalift, and fpent great part of his fortune in the caufe, be- ing the onlyperfon exempted from the benefit of the treaty, when Worcefter furrendered to the parliament in the year 1646. Our poet's father was churchwarden of the parilli the year before his fon Samuel was born, and has entered his baptifm, dated February 8, 161 2, with his own hand, in the parilh regifter. He had four fons and three daughters, born at Streniliam; the three daughters, and one fon, older than our poet, and two fons younger : none of his defcend- ants remain in the pariili, though fome of them are faid to be in the neighbouring villages. Our author received his hrft rudiments of learning at home ; he was afterwards fent to the College School at Wor- cefter, then taught by Mr. Henry Bright*, prebendary of * Mr. Bright is buried in the cathedral church of Worcefter, near the north pillar, at the foot of the fteps which lead to the choir. He was born 1562, appointed fchoolmafter 1586, made prebendary 1619, died 1626. The infcription in capitals, on a mural ftone, now placed in what is called the Biftiop's Chapel, is as follows : Mane hofpes et lege, Magifter HENRICUS BRIGHT, Celeberrimus gymnarfiarcha, Qui fcholae regiae iftic fundatas per totos 40 annos fumma cum laude praefuit, AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. Ill that cathedral, a celebrated fcholar, and many years the famous mafter of the King's School there; one who made his bulinefs his delight; and, though in very eafy circum- flances, continued to teach for the fake of doing good, by benefiting the families of the neighbouring gentlemen, who thought themfelves happy in having their fons in- llrucled by him. Quo non alter magis fedulus fuit, fcitufve, ac dexter, in Latinis Graecis Hebraicis litteris, feliciter edocendis : Tefte utraq; academia quam inftruxit afFatim numerofa plebe literaria : Sed et totidem annis eoq; ampHus theologiam profeffus, Et hujus ecclefiae per feptennium canonicus major, Saepiffime hie et alibi facrum dei praeconem magno cum zelo et fruftu egit. Vir pius, dodlus, integer, frugi, de republica deq; ecclefia optime meritus. A laboribus per diu noiftuq; ab anno 1562 Ad 1626 ftrenue ufq; exantlatis 4° Martii fuaviter requievit in Domino. See this epitaph, written by Dr. Jofeph Hall, Dean of Worcefter, in Fuller's Worthies, p. 177. I have endeavoured to revive the memory of this great and good teacher, wifliing to ex- cite a laudable emulation in our provincial fchoolmafters ; a race of men, who, if they exe- cute their truft with abilities, indullry, and in a proper manner, deferve the higheft honour and patronage their country can beftow, as they have an opportunity of communicatmg learning, at a moderate expence, to the middle rank of gentry, without the danger of rummg their fortunes, and corrupting their morals or their health : this, though foreign to my prefent purpofe, the refped and aiFedtion I bear to my neighbours extorted from me.. iv ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ How long Mr. Butler continued under his care is not known, but, probably, till he was fourteen years old. Whether he was ever entered at any univerfity is uncertain. His biographer fays he went to Cambridge, but was never matriculated : Wood, on the authority of Butler's brother, fays, the poetfpent fix or feven years there* ; but as other things are quoted from the fame authority, which I believe to be falfe, I fliould very much fufped the truth of this ar- ticle. Some exprellions, in his works, look as if he were acquainted with the cuftoms of Oxford. Courfmg was a term peculiar to that univerfity ; fee Part iii. c. ii. v. 1244. Returning to his native country, he entered into the fer- vice of Thomas Jefferies, Efquire, of Earls Croombe, who, being a very active juftice of the peace, and a leading man in the bufmefs of the province •, his clerk was in no mean office, but one that required a knowledge of the law and conftitution of his country, and a proper behaviour to men of every rank and occupation : befides, in thofe times, before the roads were made good, and fhort vifits fo much in fa- fhion, every large family was a community within itfelf : the upper fervants, or retainers, being often the younger fons of gentlemen, were treated as friends, and the whole family dined in one common hall, and had a ledturer or * His refiding in the neigbourhood might, perhaps, occafion the idea of his having been at Cambridge. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. V clerk, who, during meal times, read to them fome ufeful or entertaining book. Mr. JefFeries's family was of this fort, fituated in a re- tired part of the country, furrounded by bad roads, the maf- ter of it rcfiding conftantly in Worccftcrfliire. Here Mr. Butler had the advantage of living fome time in the neigh- bourhood of his own family and friends : and having lei- fure for indulging his inclinations for learning, he probably improved himfelf very much, not only in the abftrufer branches of it, but in the polite arts : here he ftudied paint- ing, in the practice of which indeed his proficiency was but moderate ; for I recoiled; feeing at Earls Croombe in my youth, fome portraits faid to be painted by him, which did him no great honour as an artift.* I have heard, lately, of a portrait of Oliver Cromwell, faid to be painted by our author. * In his MS. common-place book is the following obfervation : It is more difficult, and requires a greater maftery of art in painting, to forefhorten a figure exacSly, than to draw three at their juft length; fo it is, in writing, to exprefs any thing na- turally and briefly, than to enlarge and dilate: And therefore a judicious author's blots Are more ingenious than his firil free thoughts. This, and many other palTages from Butler's MSB. are inferted, not fo much for their intrinfic merit, as to pleafe thofe who are unwilling to lofe one drop of that immortal man j as Garrick fays of Shakefpear, It is my pride, my joy, my only plan, To lofe no drop of that immortal man. vi ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ After continuing fome time in this fervice, he was recom- mended to EHzabeth Countefs of Kent, who lived at Wreft, in Bedfordfliire. Here he enjoyed a Hterary retreat during great part of the civil wars, and here probably laid the ground- work of his Hudibras, as he had the benefit of a good col- ledion of books, and the fociety of that living library, the learned Selden. — His biographers fay, he lived alfo in the fervice of Sir Samuel Luke, of Cople Hoo Farm, or Wood End, in that county, and that from him he drew the cha- rader of Hudibras * : but fuch a prototype was not rare in thofe times. We hear little more of Mr. Butler till after the Reftoration : perhaps, as Mr. Selden was left executor to the Countefs, his employment in her affairs might not ceafe at her death, though one might fufpect by Butler's MSS. and Remains, that his friendlliip with that great man was not * The Lukes were an ancient family at Cople, three miles fouth of Bedford : in the church are many monuments to the family : an old one to the memory of Sir Walter Luke, Knight, one of the juftices of the pleas, holden before the moft excellent prince King Henry the Eighth, and Dame Anne his wife : another in remembrance of Nicholas Luke, and his wife, with five fons and four daughters. On a flat ftone in the chancel is written. Here lieth the body of George Luke, Efq. he departed this life Feb. 10, 1732, aged 74. years, the lafl Luke of Wood End. Sir Samuel Luke was a rigid prefbyterian, and not an eminent commander under Oliver Cromwell; probably did not approve of the king's trial and execution, and therefore, with other prefbyterians, both he and his father Sir Oliver were among the fecluded members. See Rufliworth's colledions. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. VH without interruption, for his fatirical wit could not be rc- ftrained from difplaying itfelf on fome particularities in the charadler of that eminent fcholar. L-ord Dorfet is faid to have firft introduced Hudibras to court. — November ii, 1662, the author obtained an impri- matur, figned J. Berkenhead, for printing his poem ; accord- ingly in the following year he publiflied the firft part, con- taining 125 pages. Sir Roger L'Eftrange granted an im- primatur for the fecond part of Hudibras, by the author of the firft, November 5, 1663, and it was printed by T. R. for John Martin, 1664. In the Mercurius aulicus, a minifterial newfpaper, from January i, to January 8, 1662, quarto, is an advertifement faying, that, " there is ftolen abroad a moft falfe and imper- " feci copy of a poem called Hudibras, without name *' either of printer or bookfeller, the true and perfect edition, " printed by the author's original, is fold by Richard Marriott, " near St. Dunftan's church, in Fleet-ftreet, that other name- " lefs impreffion is a cheat, and will but abufe the buyer, as " well as the author, whofe poem dcferves to have fallen " into better hands." Probably many other editions were foon after printed : but the fiift and fecond parts, with notes to both parts, were printed for J. Martin and H. Herringman, octavo, 1674. The laft edition of the third part, before the viii ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ author's death, was printed by the fame perfons in 1678: this I take to be the laft copy correcled by himfelf, and is that from which this edition is in general printed : the third part had no notes put to it during the author's hfe, and who furniflied them after his death is not known. In the Britifli Mufeum is the original injunclion by au- thority, figned John Berkenhead, forbidding any printer, or other perfon whatfoever to print Hudibras, or any part there- of, without the confent or approbation of Samuel Butler (or Boteler) Efq.* or his ailignees, given at Whitehall, 10 Sep- tember 1677; copy of this injunflion may be feen in the note -j-. * Induced by this injunftion, and by the office he held as fecretary to Richard Earl of Carbury, Lord Prefident of Wales, I have ventured to call our poet Samuel Butler, Efq. t CHARLES R. Our will and pleafurc is, and we do hereby ftriftly charge and command, that no printer, bookfeller, ftationer, or other perfon whatfoever within out; kingdom of England or Ireland, do print, reprint, utter or fell, or caufe to be printed, re-printed, uttered or fold, a book or poem called Hudibras, or any part thereof, without the confent and approbation of Samuel Boteler, Efq. or his affignees, as they and every of them will anfwer the contrary at their perils. Given at our Court at Whitehall, the tenth day of September, in the year of our Lord God 1677, and in the 29th year of our reign. By His Majefty's command, J". BERKENHEAD. Mifcel. Papers, Muf. Brit. Bibl. Birch, No. 4293. Plut. II. J. original. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. IX It was natural to fuppofc, that after the rcftoration, and the publication of his Hudibras, our poet fliould have ap- peared in public life, and have been rewarded for the eminent fervice his poem did to the royal caufe ; but his innate mo- defly, and ftudious turn of mind, prevented folicitations : never having tailed the idle luxuries of life, he did not make to himfelf needlefs wants, or pine after imaginary pleafures : his fortune, indeed, was fmall, and fo was his ambition ; his integrity of life, and modeft temper, rendered him contented. However, there is good authority for believing that at one time he was gratified with an order on the treafury for 300/. which is faid to have palTed all the offices without payment of fees, and this gave him an opportunity of difplaying his difinterefted integrity, by conveying the entire fum imme- diately to a friend, in truft for the ufe of his creditors. Dr. Zachary Pearce,* on the authority of Mr. Lowndes of the Treafury, alTerts, that Mr. Butler received from Charles the fecond an annual penfion of 100/. : add to this, he was ap- pointed fecretary to the lord prefident of the principality of Wales, and, about the year 1667, fteward of Ludlow caftle. With all this, the court was thought to have been guilty of a glaring negled in his cafe, and the public were fcandalized * See Granger's Biographical Hiftory of England, oftavo, vol iv. p. 40. X ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ at the ingratitude. The indigent poets, who have always claimed a prefcriptive right to live on the munificence of their contemporaries, were the loudeft in their remonftrances. Dryden, Oldham, and Otway, while in appearance they complained of the unrewarded merits of our author, ob- liquely lamented their private and particular grievances ; Iloi7^oH.7\Ov 7rpo^x(nv,(r(pocv ^'ccvruiv kyi^s SKctg^o;',* or, as Sallull: fays, nuUi Mortalium injurise fuse parvae videntur. Mr. Butler's own fenfe of the difappointment, and the impreffion it made on his fpirits, are fufficiently marked by the circum- ftance of his having twice tranfcribed the following diftich with fome variation in his MS. common-place book. To think how Spencer died, how Cowley mourn'd, How Butler's faith and fervice were return'd.-f- In the fame MS. he fays, " wit is very chargeable, and not to be maintained in its necelTary expences at an ordinary rate : it is the worll trade in the world to live upon, and a commodity that no man thinks he has need of, for thofe who have leafl believe they have moft." * Homer Iliad, 19. 302. •)- I am aware of a difficulty that may be ftarted, that the Tragedy of Conftantine the Great, to which Otway wrote the prologue, according to Giles Jacob in his poetical Regifter, was not afted at the Theatre Royal till 1684, four years after our poet's death, but probably hehad feenthe MS. or heard the thought, as both his MSS. differ fomewhat from the printed copy. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XI Ingenuity and wit Do only make the owners fit For nothing, but to be undone Much eafier than if th' had none. Mr. Butler fpent feme time in France, probably when Lewis XIV. was in the height of his glory and vanity : however, neither the language nor manners of Paris were plealing to our modefl poet ; fome of his obfervations may be amuling, I fliall therefore infert them in a note.* He married Mrs. Herbert, whether flie was a widow, or not, is uncertain ; with her he expected a confiderable fortune, but, through various loffes, and knavery, he found himfelf difap- * " The French ufe fo many words, upon all occafions, that if they did not cut them fhort in pronunciation, they would grow tedious, and infufFerable. " They infinitely affeft rhyme, though it becomes their language the worft in the world, and fpoils the little fenfe they have to make room for it, and make the fame fyllable rhjine to itfelf, which is worfe than metal upon metal in heraldry : they find it much eafier to write plays in verfe than in profe, for it is much harder to imitate nature, than any deviation from her ; and profe requires a more proper and natural fenfe and expreffion than verfe, that has fomething in the ftamp and coin to anfwer for the alloy and want of intrinfic value. I never came among them, but the following line was in my mind: Raucaq; garrulitas, ftudiumq; inane loquendi ; For tliey talk fo much, they have not time to think ; and if they had all the wit in the world, their tongues would run before i t. " The prefent king of France is building a moft lately triumphal arch in memory of his viftories, and the great anions which he has performed: but, if I am not miftaken, thofe edifices which bear that name at Rome, were not raifed by the emperors whofe names they bear (fuch as Trajan, Titus, &c.) but were decreed by the Senate, and built at die ex- pence of the public ; for that glory is loft, which any man defigns to confecrate to himfelf. XU ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ pointed : to this fome have attributed his fevere flriclures upon the profefTors of the law; but if his cenfures be proper- ly confidered, they will be found to bear hard only upon the difgraceful part of each profeffion, and upon falfe learning in general : this was a favourite fubjecl with him, but no man had a greater regard for, or was abetter judge of the worthy part of the three learned profeflions, or learning in general, than Mr. Butler. How long he continued in office, as fleward of Ludlow Caftle, is not known; but he lived the latter part of his life " The king takes a very good courfe to weaken the city of Paris by adorning of it, and to render it lefs, by making it appear greater and more glorious ; for he pulls down whole ftreets to make room for his palaces and public ftruftures. " There is nothing great or magnificent in all the country, that I have feen,but the build- ings and furniture of the king's houfes and the churches j all the reft is mean and paltry. " The king is neceffitatedto lay heavy taxes upon his fubjedts in his own defence, and to keep them poor, in order to keep them quiet; for if they are fufFered to enjoy any plenty, they are naturally fo infolent, that they would become ungovernable, and ufe him as they have done his predeceflbrs : but he has rendered himfelf fo ftrong, that they have no thoughts of attempting any thing in his time. " The churchmen overlook all other people as haughtily as the churches and fteeples do private houfes. " The French do nothing without oftentation, and the king himfelf is not behind with his triumphal arches confecrated to himfelf, and his imprefs of the fun, nee pluribus impar. " The French king having copies of the beft piiSlures from Rome, is as a great prince wearing clothes at fecond hand : the king in his prodigious charge of buildings and furniture does the fame thing to himfelf that he means to do by Paris, renders himfelf weaker, by endea-» vouring to appear the more magnificent: lets go the fubftancefor ftiadow." AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. Xllil in Rofe-flreet, Covent Garden, in a ftudious retired manner, and died there in the year 1 680.— He is faid to have been buried at the expence of Mr. WiUiam Longuevillc, though he did not die in debt. Some of his friends wiflied to have interred him in Weft- minfter Abbey with proper folemnity ; but not finding others wilHng to contribute to the expence, his corpfe was depo- fited privately in the yard belonging to the church of Saint Paul's Covent Garden, at the weft end of the faid yard, on the north fide, under the wall of the faid church, and under that wall which parts the yard from the common highway.* I have been thus particular, becaufe, in the year 1786, when the church was repaired, a marble monument was placed on the fouth lide of the church on the infide, by fome of the parifhioners, which might tend to miflead pofterity as to the place of his interment : their zeal for the memory of the learned poet does them honour ; but the writer of the verfes feems to have miftaken the character of Mr. Butler. The infcription runs thus, " This little monument was ere(fted in the year 1786, by " fome of the parifliioners of Covent Garden, in memory of * See Butler's Life, printed before the fmall edition of Hudibras, in 1710, and reprinted by Dr. Grey. Xiv O^ SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ " the celebrated Samuel Butler, who was buried in this churchy "A. D. 1680. " A few plain men, to pomp and ftate unknown, " O'er a poor bard have rais'd this humble flone, " Whofe wants alone his genius could furpafs, " Viftim of zeal ! the matchlefs Hudibras ! " What though fair freedom fuffer'd in his page, " Reader, forgive the author for the age ! " How few, alas ! difdain to cringe and cant, " When 'tis the mode to play the fycophant. " But, oh ! let all be taught, from Butler's fate, " Who hope to make their fortunes by the great, " That wit and pride are always dangerous things, " And little faith is due to courts and kings." In the year 1721, John Barber, an eminent printer, and alderman of London, ereded a monument to our poet in Weftminfter Abbey, the infcription as follows : M.S. Samuelis Butler Qui Strenfliamise in agro Vigorn natus 161 2, Obiit Lond. 1680. Vir do6lus imprimis, acer, integer, Operibus ingenii non item praemiis felix. Satyrici apud nos carminis artifex egregius. Qui fimulatas religionis larvam detraxit Et perduellium fcelera liberrime exagitavit, Scriptorum in fuo genere primus et poftremus. AUTHOR OF HUDTBRAS. XV Ne cui vivo deerant fere omnia Deeflet etiam mortuo tumulus Hoc tandem pofito marmore curavit Johannes Barber civis Londinenfis 172 1. On the latter part of this epitaph the ingenious Mr. Sa- muel Wefley wrote the following lines : While Butler, needy wretch, w^as yet alive. No generous patron would a dinner give ; See him, when ftai-v'd to death, andturn'd to duft, Prefented with a monumental buflr. The poet's fate is here in emblem Ihown, He alk'd for bread, and he receiv'd a Hone. Soon after this monument was erected in Weftminfter Abbey, fome perfons propofed to erect one in Covent Garden churchj for which Mr. Dennis wrote the following infcrip- tion : Near this place lies interr'd The body of Mr. Samuel Butler, Author of Hudibras. He was a whole fpecies of poets in one : Admirable in a manner In which no one elfe has been tolerable : A manner which begun and ended in him, In which he knew no guide, And has found no followers. Nat. 1612. Ob. 1680. XVI ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ^ Hudibras is Mr. Butler's capital work, and though the charaders, poems, thoughts, &c. publifhed by Mr. Thyer, in two volumes o6lavo, arc certainly wrote by the fame maf- teriy hand, though they abound with lively fallies of wit, and difplay a copious variety of erudition, yet the nature of the fubjedls, their not having received the author's laft cor- rections, and many other reafons which might be given, ren- der them lefs acceptable to the prefent tafte of the public, which no longer reliilies the antiquated mode of writing cha- racters, cultivated when Butler was young, by men of genius, fuch as Bifliop Earle and Mr. Cleveland ; the volumes, however, are very ufeful, as they tend to illuftrate many paf- fages in Hudibras. The three fmall ones entitled, Pofthu- mous Works, in Profe and Verfe, by Mr. Samuel Butler, au- thor of Hudibras, printed 1 7 1 5, 1 7 1 6, 1 7 1 7, are all fpurious, except the Pindaric ode on Duval the highwayman, and perhaps one or two of the profe pieces. As to the MSS. which after Mr. Butler's death came into the hands of Mr. Longueville, and from whence Mr. Thyer publifhed his genuine Remains in the year 1759 ; what remain of them, ftill unpubliflied, are either in the hands of the ingenious Dodor Farmer, of Cambridge, or myfelf: for Mr. Butler's Common-place Book, mentioned by Mr. Thyer, I am indebt- .ed to the liberal and public fpirited James MafTey, Efq. of AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. xvii Rofthern, near Knotsford, Chefliire. The poet's frequent and correcl ufe of law terms * is a fufficient proof that he was well verfed in that fcience ; but if further evidence were wanting, I can produce a MS. purchafed of fome of our poet's relations, at the Hay, in Brecknockfliire : it appears to be a colledtion of legal cafes and principles, regularly related from Lord Coke's Commentary on Littleton's Tenures : the language is Norman, or law French, and, in general, an abridgment of the above-mentioned celebrated work ; for the authorities in the margin of the MS. correfpond exactly with thofe given on the fame pofitions in the firfl: inditute ; and the fubjecl matter contained in each particular fedlion of Butler's legal tracl, is to be found in the fame numbered feclion of Coke upon Littleton : the lirft book of the MS. likewife ends with the 84th feclion, which fame number of feclions alfo terminates the lirft inftitute ; and the fecond book of the MS. is entitled by Butler, Le fecond livre del primer part del inftitutes de ley d'Engleterre. The titles of the refpeclive chapters of the MS. alfo precifely agree with the titles of each chapter in Coke upon Littleton ; it may, therefore, reafonably be prefumed to have been compiled by Butler folely from Coke upon Littleton, with no other ob- jeft than to imprefs ftrongly on his mind the fenfe of that author ; and written in Norman, to familiarize himfelf with * Butler is faid to have been a member of Grey's-inn, and of a club with Cleveland and other wits inclined to the royal caufe. Xviii ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ, the barbarous language in which the learning of the common' law of England was at that period almoft uniformly ex- prclTed. The MS. is imperfect, no title exifting, fome leaves being torn, and is continued only to the 193d feclion, which is about the middle of Coke's fecond book of the firft inftitute. As another inftance of the poet's great induftry, I have a French didlionary, compiled and tranfcribed by him : thus did our anceftors, with great labour, draw truth and learning out of deep wells, whereas our modern fcholars only lliim the furface, and pilfer a fuperficial knowledge from encyclopaedies and reviews. It doth not appear that he ever wrote for the ftage, though I have, in his MS. common-place book, part of an unfinifhed tragedy, entitled Nero. Concerning Hudibras there is but one fentiment — it is univerfally allowed to be the firfl: and laft poem of its kind ; the learning, wit, and humour, certainly fland unrivalled ; various have been the attempts to define or defcribe the two laft ; the greateft Engliili writers have tried in vain, Cowley*, Barrow f, Drydenf, Lock§, AddifonH, Pope^, * In his Ode on Wit, f "" his Sermon againft foolifli Talking and Jefting, % in his Pre- face to an Opera called the State of Innocence, § EfTay on Human Underftanding, b. ii. c. 2. II Spedator, No. 35 and 32. ^i Effay concerning humour in Comedy, and Corbyn Morris's Effay on Wit, Humour, and Raillery. AUTHOR OF nUDIBRAS. xix and Congreve, all fail'd in their attempts ; perhaps they are more to be be felt than explained, and to be underftood rather from example than precept : if any one wiflies to know what wit and humour are, let him read Hudibras with attention, he will there fee them difplayed in the brighteft colours : there is luftre refulting from the quick elucidation of an object, by a jufl; and unexpected arrangement of it with another fubjecl : propriety of words, and thoughts elegantly adapted to the occafion : objects which polTefs an affinity and congruity, or fometimes a contrafl to each other, afTembled with quicknefs and variety ; in fliort, every« ingredient of wit, or of humour, which critics have difcover- cd on diflecting them, may be found in this poem. The reader may congratulate himfelf, that he is not deftitute of tafte to relifli both, if he can read it with delight ; nor would it be prefumption to transfer to this capital author, Quinclilian's enthuliaftic praife of a great Antient : hunc igitur fpe6temus, hoc propofitum fit nobis exemplum, illc fc profecifle fciat cui Cicero valde placebit. Hudibras is to an epic poem, what a good farce is to a tragedy ; perfons advanced in years generally prefer the former, having met with tragedies enough in real life ; whereas the comedy, or interlude, is a relief from anxious and difgufling reflections, and fuggefls fuch playful XX ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. ideas, as wanton round the heart and enliven the very features. The hero marches out in fearch of adventures, to fupprefs thofe fports, and punifli thofe trivial offences, which the vulgar among the royalifts were fond of, but which the preibyterians and independents abhorred ; and which our hero, as a magiftrate of the former perfuafion, thought it his duty officially to fupprefs. The diclion is that of bur- lefque poetry, painting low and mean perfons and things in pompous language, and a magnificent manner, or fometimes levelling fublime and pompous paffages to the flandard of low imagery. The principal a6lions of the poem are four : Hudibras's vi61:ory over Crowdero — Trulla's viflory over Hudibras — Hudibras's victory over Sidrophel — and the Widow's antimafquerade : the reft is made up of the adven- tures of the Bear, of the Skimmington, Hudibras's converfa- tions with the Lawyer and Sidrophel, and his long difputations with Ralpho and the Widow. The verfe confifts of eight fyllables, or four feet, a meafure which, in unllcilful hands, foon becomes tirefome, and will ever be a dangerous fnare to meaner and lefs mafterly imitators. The Scotch, the Irilli, the American Hudibras, are not worth mentioning : the tranflation into French, by an Eng- lifhman, is curious ; it preferves the fenfe, but cannot keep up the humour. Prior feems to have come neareft AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XXI the original, though he is fenfible of his own inferiority^ and fays, But, like poor Andrew, I advance, Falfe mimic of my mafter's dance ; Around the cord a while I fprawl, And thence, tho' low, in earneft fall. His Alma is neat and elegant, and his verfification fu- perior to Butler's ; but his learning, knowledge, and wit, by no means equal. Prior, as Dr. Johnfon fays, had not Butler's exuberance of matter, and variety of illuftration. The fpangles of wit which he could afford, he knew how to po- lifli, but he wanted the bullion of his mafter. Hudibras, then, may truly be faid to be the firft and lafl fatire of the kind ; for if we examine Lucian's Tragopodagra, and other dialogues, the Caefars of Julian, Seneca's Apocolocyntofis,* and fome fragments of Varro, they will be found very diffe- rent : the battle of the frogs and mice, commonly afcribed to Homer, and the Margites, generally allowed to be his, prove this fpecies of poetry to be of great antiquity. The inventor of the modern mock heroic was Aleffmdro Taffoni, born at Modena 1565. His Secchia rapita, or * Or the mock deification of Claudius ; a burlefque of Apotheofis, or Anathanatofis. Rei- marus renders it, non inter deos fed inter fatuos relatio, and quotes a proverb from Apuleius, Colocyntse caput, for a fool. Colocynta is metaphorically put for any thing unufually large. >>»;xas i(oXoxu»ra<s in the clouds of Ariftoph.ines, is to have the eye fwelled by an obftrudion as big as a gourd. Xxii ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. Rape of the Bucket, is founded on the popular account of the caufe of the civil war between the inhabitants of Modena and Bologna, in the time of Frederic II. This bucket was long preferved, as a trophy, in the cathedral of Modena, fuf- pended by the chain which faftened the gate of Bologna, through which the Modenefe forced their pafTage, and feized the prize. It is written in the ottava Rima, the folemn meafure of the Italian heroic poets, has gone through many editions, and been twice tranflatcd into French : it has, indeed^ confiderable merit, though the reader will fcarcely fee Elena trasformafi in una fecchia. Taffoni travelled into Spain as firft fecretary to Cardinal Colonna, and died in an advanced age, in the court of Francis the Firft, duke of Modena : he was highly efteemed for his abilities and extenfive learning ; but, like Mr. Butler's, his wit was ap- plauded, and unrewarded, as appears from a portrait of him, with a fig in his hand, under which is written the following diftich : Dextra cur ficum quaeris mea geftat inanem, Longi operis merces haec fuit, Aula dedit. The next fuccefsful imitators of the mock-heroic, have been Boileau, Garth, and Pope, whofe refpedlive works are too generally known, and too juftly admired, to require, at this time, defcription or encomium. The Pucelle d'Orleans of Voltaire may be deemed an imitation of Hudibras, and is AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. Xxiii written In fomewhat the fame metre ; but the latter, upon the whole, muft be confidcrcd as an original fpccies of poetry, a compofition fui generis. Unde nil majus generatur ipfo ; Nee viget quidquam fimile aut fecundum. Hudibras has been compared to the Satyre Menippee de la vertu du Catholicon d'Efpagne, firft publiflied in France in the year 1593; ^^^ fubjecl indeed is fomewhat fimilar a violent civil war excited by religious zeal, and many good men made the dupes of ftate politicians. After the death of Henry III. of France, the Duke de Mayenne called together the dates of the kingdom, to clecl a fucceffor, there being many pretenders to the crown ; thefe intrigues were the foundation of the Satire Menippee, fo called from Menippus a cynic philofopher, and rough Satirift, introducer of the burlefque fpecies of dialogue. In this work are unveil'd the different views, and interefts of the feveral aclors in thofe bufy fcenes, who, under the pretence of public good, confulted only their private advantage, pailions and prejudices. The book, which aims particularly at the Spanifli party, * went through various editions, from its firft publication to * It is fometimes called Higuero del inficrno, or the fig-tree of Hell, alluding to the vio- lent pare the Spaniards took in the civil w^ars of France, and in allufion to the title of Seneca's Apocolocyntofis. By this fig-tree the author perhaps means the wonderful bir or banian def- cribed by Milton. The fig-tree, not that kind for fruit renovim'd, But fuch as at this day to Indians known In Malabar or Decan, fpreads his arms. Branching XXIV ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. 1726, when it was printed at Ratifbone in three volumes, with copious notes and index : it is ftill ftudied by antiqua- ries with deUght, and in its day was as much admired as Hu- dibras. D'aubigne fays of it, il pafTe pour un chef d'cEuvre en fon gendre, & fut lue avec une egale avidite, & avec un plai- flr marveilleux par les royahftes, par les poHtiques, par les Huguenots & par les ligueurs de toutes les efpeces.* Mr. de Thou's character of it is equally to its advantage. The principal author is faid to be Monfieur le Roy, fometim^e chaplain to the Cardinal de Bourbon, whom Thuanus calls vir bonus, & a fadlione fumme alienus. Branching fo broad and long, that in the ground The bended twigs take root, and daughters grow About the mother tree; a pillar'd fliade High over-arch'd, and echoing walks between. Mr. Ines, in his journey from Perfia, thus fpeaks of this wonderful vegetable : this is the Indian facred tree, it grows to a prodigious height, and its branches f^jread a great way. The limbs drop down fibrous, which take root, and become another tree, united by its branches to the firft, and fo continue to do, until the tree cover a great extent of ground; the arches which thofe different flocks make are Gothick, like thofe we fee in Wefl:minfl:er Abbey, the flocks not being finglc, but appearing as ifcompofed of many flocks, are of a great circumference. There is a certain folemnity accompanying thefe trees, nor do I remember that I was ever under the cover of any of them, but that my mind was at the time imprefTed with a reverential awe. From hence it feems, that both thefe authors thought Gothic architecture fimilar to embowered jows of trees. The Indian fig-tree is defcribed as of an immenfe fize, capable of iTiading 800 or lOOO men, and fome of them 3000 perfons. In Mr. Marfden's hiflory of Sumatra, the following is an account of the dimenfions of a remarkable banyan tree near Banjer, twenty miles wefl of Patna, in Bengal. Diameter 363 to 375 feet, circumference of its fhadow at noon i n6 feet circumference of the feveral ftems (in number 50 or 60) 911 feet. * Henaultfays of this work, Peut-etre que la fatire Mcnippee ne fut gueres moins utiles Henri IV. que la bataille d'lvri ; le ridicule a plus de force qu'on ne croit. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XXV This fatlre differs widely from our author's: like thofe of Varro, Seneca and Julian, it is a mixture of vcrfe and profe, and though it contains much wit, and Mr. Butler had cer- tainly read it with attention, yet he cannot be faid to imitate it ; the reader will perceive that our poet had in view Don Quixote, Spenfer, the ItaHan poets, together with the Greek and Roman claflics ; but very rarely, if ever, alludes to Milton, though Paradife loft was publiflied ten years before the third part of Hudibras. Other forts of burlefque have been publiflied, fuch as the carmina Macaronica, the epiftolae obfcurorum Virorum, Cot- ton's travefty, &c. but thefe are efforts of genius of no great importance. Many burlefque and fatirical poems, and profe compofitions, were publiflied in France between the years 1593 and 1660, the authors of which were Rabelais, Scarron and others ; the Cardinal is faid to have feverely felt the Ma- zarenade. A popular fong or poem has always had a wonderful effed; ; the following is an excellent one from ^Efchylus, fung at the battle of Salamis, at which he was prefent, and engaged in the Athenian Squadron. £2 TTOLi^sg EX?^tOi:v /re, sXsvhpifIs 7rarfi^\ sMvCBfmre is XXvi ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. &y]X.0Lg 7S T^poyovocv' vvv VTTsp ttolvtocv aym. JEfch. Perfe, 1. 400. The ode of Calliflratus is fuppofed to have done eminent fervice, by commemorating the dehvery, and preventing the return of that tyranny in Athens, which was happily termi- nated by the death of Hipparchus, and expulfion of the Pififtratid^e ; I mean a fong which was fung at their feafls beginning, HfTTSp AflXO^lOg KAfl5-0y£lT(f^V, Ot£ tov rvpoLvvov KTdvsrrjp, l(TouoiJLiig TA^riPOLg £7roir,(roLrriV^ And ending, (piXroL^ AffjLo^is KApig-oysnoVf Ore TOV Tvpavuov ztolvbtov ItToyofjLag TA&ii/oLg £7roirj(rc(.Toy. Of this fong the learned Lowth fays, Si poll idus illas Martias e Tyrannoctonis quifpiam tale aliquod carmen plebi tradidifTet, inque fuburram, et fori circulos, & in ora vulgi intulifTet, a6lum profe£lo fuifTet de partibus deque domina- tione Cjefarum : plus mehercule valuilTet unum Ap^oom ^sAo? AUTHOR OF IIUDIBRAS. XXX'll quam Ciccronis Philippicae omnes ; and again, Num vcrcn- dum erat ne quis tyrannidcm Pififtratidarum Athenis inftau- rarc auderet, ubi cantitaretur l^KoXiov illud Calliftrati. — See alfo Ifraelitarum ^Tcm/jov, Ifaiah chapter xiv. Of this kind was the famous Irilli fong called Lilliburlero, which juft before the revolution in 1688, had fuch an effect, that Burnet fays, " a foolilli ballad was made at that time, " treating the papifts, and chiefly the Irilli, in a very ridicu- " lous manner, which had a burthen faid to be Irifli words, " Loro loro lilliburlero, that made an impreflion on the " (king's) army that cannot be imagined by thofe that faw " it not. The whole army, and at laft the people, both in " city and country, were fmging it perpetually ; and perhaps " never had fo flight a thing fo good an effect.' Of this kind in modern days was the fong of God fave great George our King, and the Ca ira of Paris. Thus wonderfully did Hudibras operate in beating down the hypocrify, and falfe patriotifm of his time, Mr. Haylcy gives a character of him in four lines with great propriety ; " Unrival'd Butler ! bleft with happy ikill " To heal by comic verfe each ferious ill, " By wit's ftrong flaflies reafon's light difpenfe, " And laugh a frantic nation into fenfe." For one great object of our poet's fatire is to unmalk the hypocrite, and to exhibit, in a light at once odious and ridi- ^xvii'i ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. culous, the prefbytcrians and independents, and all other feels, which in our poet's days amounted to near two hundred, and were enemies to the King ; but his further view was to banter all the falfc, and even all the fufpicious pretences to learning that prevailed in his time, fuch as aftrology, fympa- thetic medicine, alchymy, transfufion of blood, trifling expe- rimental philofophy, fortune-telling, incredible relations of travellers, falfe wit and injudicious affectation of ornament to be found in the poets, romance writers, &c. thus he fre- quently alludes to Purchas's Pilgrim, Sir Kenelm Digby's books, Bulwarks Artificial Changeling, Brown's Vulgar Errors, Burton's Melancholy, the early tranfadlions of the Royal Society, the various pamphlets and poems of his time, &c. &:c. Thefe books, though now little known, were much read and admired in our author's days. The adventure with the widow is introduced in conformity with other poets, both heroic and dramatic, who hold that no poem can be perfect which hath not at leafl: one Epifode of Love. It is not worth while to enquire, if the characters painted under the fictitious names of Hudibras, Crowdero, Orfm, Talgal, Trulla, &c. were drawn from real life, or whether, Sir Roger L'Eftrange's key to Hudibras be a true one, it matters not whether the hero were defigned as the picture of Sir Samuel Luke, Col. Rolls, or Sir Henry Rofewell, he is, in the language of Dryden, knight of the Shire, and repre- AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XXIX fcnts them all, that is, the whole body of the prcfbyterians, as Ralpho does that of the independents : it would be de- grading the liberal fpirit, and univerfal genius of Mr. Butler, to narrow his general fatire to a particular libel on any cha- racters, however marked and prominent. To a fmgle rogue, or blockhead, he difdained to ftoop ; the vices and follies of the age in which he lived, (& quando uberior vitiorum copia) were the quarry at which he fled : thefe he concentrated, and embodied in the perfons of Hudibras, Ralpho, Sidrophel, &c. fo that each chara6ler in this admirable poem iliould be con- fidered, not as an individual, but as a fpecies. It is not generally known, that meanings flill more re- mote and chimerical than mere perfonal allufions, have been difcovered in Hudibras ; and the poem would have wanted one of thofe marks which diftinguifli works of fuperior me- rit, if it had not been fuppofed to be a perpetual alle- gory : writers of eminence. Homer, Plato, and even the holy Scriptures themfelves, have been mofi: wretchedly mif- reprefented by commentators of this caft ; and it is afto- nifliing to obferve to what a degree Heraclides * and * The Allegorias Homerici, Gr. Lat. publUhed by Dean Gale, Ainft. 1688, though ufu- ally afciibed to Heraclides Ponticus, the Platoiiift, muft be the work of a more recent author, as the Dean has proved : his real name feems to have been Heraclitus (not the philofopher), and nothing more is known of him, but that Euftathiuj often cites him in his comment XXX ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. Proclus*, Philot andOrigen, have loft fight of their ufual good fenfe, when they have allowed themfelves to depart from the obvious and literal meaning of the text, which they pretend to explain. Thus fome have thought that the hero of the piece was intended to reprefent the parliament, efpecially that part of it which favoured the prefbyterian difcipline ; when in the flocks, he perfonates the prefbyterians after they had loft their power ; his firft exploit is againft the bear, whom he routs, which reprefents the parliament getting the better of the king ; after this great vi6lory, he courts a widow for her jointure, that is the riches and power of the kingdom ; being fcorned by her, he retires, but the revival of hope to the royalifts draws forth both him, and his fquire, a little before Sir George Booth's infurredlion. Magnano, Cerdon, Talgal, &c. though defcribed as butchers, coblers, tinkers, on Homer : the tra^S, however, is elegant and agreeable, and may be read with improvement and pleafure. * Proclus, the moft learned philofopher of the fifth century, left among other writings numerous comments on Plato's works ftill fubfifting, fo ftuffed with allegorical abfurdities, that few who have perufed two periods, will have patience to venture on a third. In this, he only follows the example of Atticus, and many others, whofe interpretations, as wild as his own, he carefully examines. He fneers at the famous Longinus with much contempt, for adhering too fervilely to the literal meaning of Plato. t Philo, the Jew, difcovered many myftical fenfes in the Pentateuch, and from him, per- haps, Origen learned his unhappy knack of allegorizing both Old and New Teftament. — This, injuftice, however, is due to Origen, that while he is hunting after abftrufe fenfes, he doth not negledt the literal, but is fometimes happy in his criticifms. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XXXI were defigned as officers in the parliament army, whofe ori- ginal profeffions, perhaps, were not much more noble : fome have imagined Magnano to be the duke of Albemarle, and his getting thiftles from a barren land, to allude to his power in Scotland, efpecially after the defeat of Booth. Trulla his wife, Crowdero Sir George Booth, whofe bringing in of Bruin alludes to his endeavours to reftore the king : his oaken leg, called the better one, is the king's caufe, his other leg the prefbyterian difcipline ; his fiddle-cafe, which in fport they hung as a trophy on the whipping-poft, the direclorj''. Ralpho, they fay, reprefents the parliament of independents, called Barebones Parliament ; Bruin is fometimes the royal perfon, fometimes the king's adherents : Orfm reprefents the royal party — Talgol the city of London — Colon the bulk of the people : all thefe joining together againft the knight, reprefent Sir George Booth's confpiracy, with prefbyte- rians and royalifts, againft the parliament : their overthrow, through the affiftance of Ralph, means the defeat of Booth by the affiftance of the independents and other fanatics. Thefe ideas are, perhaps, only the frenzy of a wild imagina- tion, though there may be fome lines that feem to favour the conceit. Dryden and Addifon have cenfured Butler for his double rhymes ; the latter no where argues worfe than upon this fubjecl : " If," fays he, " the thought in the couplet be good, XXXU AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. " the rhymes add little to it ; and if bad, it will not be in " the power of rhyme to recommend it ; I am afraid that " great numbers of thofe who admire the incomparable " Hudibras, do it more on account of thefe doggrel rhymes, " than the parts that really deferve admiration."* This refledlion affedts equally all forts of rhyme, which certainly can add nothing to the fenfe ; but double rhymes are like the whimfical drefs of harlequin, which does not add to his wit, but fometimcs encreafes the humour and drollery of it : they are not fought for, but, when they come eafdy, are always diverting : they are fo feldom found in Hudibras, as hardly to be an object of cenfure, efpecially as the die- tion and the rhyme both fuit well with the character of the. hero. It mufl be allowed that our poet doth not exhibit his hero with the dignity of Cervantes ; but the principal fault of the poem is, that the parts are unconnected, and the llory not interefting : the reader may leave ofF without being anxious for the fate of his hero ; he fees only disjecli membra poetse ; but we lliould remember, that the parts were publillied at long intervals,i and that feveral of the dif- ferent cantos were defigned as fatires on different fubjedls or extravagancies. What the judicious Abbe du Bos has faid * Spea. No. 60. t The Epiftle to Sidrophel, not till many years after the canto to which it is annexed. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XXxiii refpe£ting Ariofto, may be true of Butler, that, in compari- fon with him, Homer is a geometrician : the poem is feldom read a fecond time, often not a firft in regular order ; that is, by pafling from the firft canto to the fecond, and fo on in fuccellion. Spencer, Ariofto, and Butler, did not live in an age of planning ; the laft imitated the former poets — " his poetry is the carelefs exuberance of a witty imagination and great learning." Fault has likewife been found, and perhaps juftly, with the too frequent elifions, the harflinefs of the numbers, and the leaving out the figns of our fubftantives ; his inattention to grammar and fyntax, which, in fome pafTages, may have contributed to obfcure his meaning, as the perplexity of others arifes from the amazing fruitfulnefs of his imagina- tion, and extent of his reading. Moft writers have more words than ideas, and the reader waftes much pains with them, and gets little information or amufement. Butler, on the contrary, has more ideas than words, his wit and learn- ing crowd fo faft upon him, that he cannot find room or time to arrange them ; hence his periods become fometimes embarrafled and obfcure, and his dialogues are too long. Our poet has been charged with obfcenity, evil-fpeaking, and profanenefs ; but fatirifts will take liberties. Juvenal, and that elegant poet Horace, muft plead his caufe, fo far as the accufation is well founded. XXxiv ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQ. Some apology may be necefTary, or expected, when a perfon advanced in years, and without the proper qua- lifications, ftiall undertake to pubhili, and comment upon, one of the moft learned and ingenious writers in our language ; and, if the editor's true and obvious motives will not avail to excufe him, he muft plead guilty. The frequent pleafure and amufement he had received from the perufal of the poem, naturally bred a rcfped: for the memory and character of the author, which is further en- deared to him, by a local relation to the county, and to the parifh, fo highly honoured by the birth of Mr. Butler. Thefe confiderations induced him to attempt an edition, more pompous perhaps, and expenfive, than was necellary, but not too fplendid for the merit of the work. While Shakefpear, Milton, Waller, Pope, and the reft of our Englifh dailies, appear with every advantage that either printing or criti- cifm can fupply, why fliould not Hudibras fliare thofe orna- ments at leaft with them which may be derived from the prefent improved ftate of typography and paper ? Some of the dark allufions, in Hudibras, to hiftory, voyages, and the abftrufer parts of what was then called learning, the author himfelf was careful to explain, in a feries of notes to the two firft parts ; for the annotations to the third part, as has been before obferved, do not feem to come from the fame hand. In moft other refpeds, the poem may be prefumed to have been AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XXXV tolerably clear to the ordinary clafs of readers at its firft pub- lication : but, in a courfc of years, the unavoidable fluctua- tions of language, the difufc of cuftoms then familiar, and the oblivion which hath ftolen on fa6ls and characters then commonly known, have fuperinduced an obfcurity on feve- ral pafTages of the work, which did not originally belong to it. The principal, if not the fole view, of the annotations now offered to the public, hath been to remove thefe difficulties, and point out fome of the paflages in the Greek and Roman authors to which the poet alludes, in order to render Hudi- bras more intelligible to perfons of the commentator's level, men of middling capacity, and limited information. To fuch, if his remarks fliall be found ufeful and acceptable, he will be content, though they fliould appear trifling in the eftimation of the more learned. It is extraordinary, that for above an hundred and twenty years, only one commentator hath furniflied notes of any confiderable length, Do£tor Grey had various friends, par- ticularly Bifhop Warburton, Mr. Byron and feveral gentle- men of Cambridge, who communicated to him learned and ingenious obfervations : thefe have been occaflonally adopted without fcruple, have been abridged, or enlarged, or altered, as befl: conflfted with a plan, fomewhat different from the dodor's ) but in fuch a manner as to preclude any other than XXXVl ON SAMUEL BUTLER, ESQo. a general acknowledgment from the Infinite perplexit}'- that a minute and particular reference to them, at every turn, would occafion ; nor has the editor been without the aflift- ance of his friends. It is well known in Worcefterfliire, that long before the appearance of Dodor Grey's edition, a learned and worthy clergyman of that county, after reading Hudibras with at- tention, had compiled a fet of obfervations, with defign to reprint the poem, and to fubjoin his own remarks. By the friendfllip of his defcendants, the prefent publillier hath been favoured with a fight of thofe papers, and though, in com- menting on the fame work, the annotator muft unavoidably have coincided with, and been anticipated by Doctor Grey in numerous inftances, yet much original information remained, of which a free and unreferved ufe hath been made in the fol- lowing Iheets ; but he is forbid any further acknowledgment. He is likewife much obliged to Dodlor Loveday, of Wil- liamfcot, near Banbury, the worthy Ton of a worthy father ; the abilities and correclnefs of the former can be equalled only by the learning and critical acumen of the latter. He begs leave likewife to take this opportunity of returning his thanks to his learned and worthy neighbour Mr. Ingram, from whofe converfation much information and entertain- ment has been received on many fubjeds. AUTHOR OF HUDIBRAS. XXXvii Mr. Samuel Wcflley, brother to the celebrated John Weftley, had a defign of publifliing an edition of Hudibras with notes. He applied to Lord Oxford for the ufe of books in his library, and his lordfliip wrote him the following obliging anfwer from Dover Street, Auguft 7, 1734. " I am " very glad you was reduced to read over Hudibras three " tim.es with care : I find you are perfeclly of my mind, that " it much wants notes, and that it will be a great work ; " certainly it will be, to do it as it fliould be. I do not ** know one fo capable of doing it as yourfelf. I fpeak this " very fmcerely. Lilly's life I have, and any books that " I have you fliall fee, and have the perufal of them, and " any other part that I can aflift. I own I am very fond " of the work, and it would be of excellent ufe and " entertainment.. " The news you read in the papers of a match with my " daughter and the Duke of Portland was completed at " Mary-le-bonne chapel," &c.* What progrefs he made in the work, or what became of his notes, I could never learn. * Extraft of a letter from Lord Oxford, taken from original letters by the Reverend John V/eflley and his friends, illuftratlve of his early hiftory, publiftied by Jofeph Prieftley, LL.D.- printed at Birmingham, 1791. XXXVlll ON SAMUEL. BUTLER, ESQ^ The engravings in this edition are chiefly taken from Hogarth's defigns, an artiftwhofe genius, in fome refpe£ls, was congenial to that of our poet, though here he cannot plead the merit of originality, fo much as in fome other of his works, having borrowed a great deal from the fmall prints in the duodecimo edition of i 7 1 o.* Some plates are added from original defigns, and fome from drawings by La Guerre, now in my pofTeflion, and one print reprefenting Oliver Cromwell's guard-room, from an excellent picture by Dobfon, very obligingly communicated by my v/orthy friend, Robert Bromley, Efq. of Abberley- lodge, in Worcefterlliire ; the picture being feven feet long, and four high, it is difficult to give the likeneffes upon fo reduced a fcale, but the artifts have done themfelves credit by preferving the characters of each figure, and the features of each face more exactly than could be expedled: the pic- ture belonged to Mr. Walfli the poet, and has always been called Oliver Cromwell's guard-room : the figures are cer- tainly portraits ; but I leave it to the critics in that line to find out the originals. When I firll: undertook this work, it was defigned that the whole fhould be comprifed in two volumes : the firfl com- * Hogarth was born in 1698, and the edition of Hudibras, with his cuts, publiflied 1726. AUTHOR OF HUDIDRAS. XXXIX prehending the poem, the fecond the notes, but the thlck- nefs of the paper, and iize of the type, obliged the binder to divide each vokime into two tomes ; this has iindefignedly encreafed the number of tomes, and the price of the work.* * Mr. Rollin in his advertifement to the eleventh volume of his ancient hiftory, fays, " Ce volume s'eft trouvc d'une groffeiir fi enormc qu'on s'cft cru oblige de le divifer pour la ♦' commodite des ledures, & de la couper en deux tomes." m ^-yMo^tM^n-en^ — ^. Cyaci/^, C^n,'^e-nr~Ocr/^'ei '<«« 'irum^yn. ■Ju PART I. FIRST CANTO Cf)c Argument. Sir H u D I B R A s /jis pajfing worth, The manner how he Jallyd forth ; His arms arid equipage are JJjewn ; His horfe's virtues and his own. Th' adventure of the bear and fddle Is Jung, but breaks off in the middle. H U D I B R A S. CANTO I. W HEN civil fury firfl grew high, And men fell out, they knew not why ; When hard words, jealoufies, and fears, Set folks together by the ears. And made them fight, like mad or drunk, For dame Religion as for Punk ; 4 CANTO I. PARTI. Whofe honefty they all durft fwear for, Tho' not a man of them knew wherefore i When Gofpel-Trumpeter, furrounded With long-ear d rout, to battle founded, lo And pulpit, drum ecclefiaftick. Was beat with fifl, inftead of a ftick ; Then did Sir Knight abandon dwelling. And out he rode a colonelling. A Wight he was, whofe very fight wou'd Entitle him Mirror of Knight-hood ; That never bent his ftubborn knee To any thing but chivalry ; Nor put up blow, but that which laid Right worfliipful on ftioulder-blade : 20 Chief of domeftic knights, and errant, Either for chartel or for warrant : Great on the bench, great in the faddle. That could as well bind o'er, as fwaddle : PARTI. CANTO I. 5 Mighty he was at both of thefe, 25 And ftyl'd of War as well as Peace. So fome rats of amphibious nature, Are either for the land or water. But here our authors make a doubt, Whether he were more wife, or flout. 30 Some hold the one, and fome the other ; But howfoe'er they make a pother. The diff'rence was fo fmall, his brain Outweigh'd his rage but half a grain ; Which made fome take him for a tool 35 That knaves do work with, call'd a Fool ; And offer'd to lay wagers, that As Montaigne, playing with his cat, Complains flie thought him but an afs. Much more flie wou'd Sir Hudibras : 40 For that's the name our valiant knight To all his challenges did write. 6 CANTO I. PARTI. But they're miftaken very much, 'Tis plain enough he was no fuch ; We grant, although he had much wit, 45 H'was very lliy of ufmg it ; As being loth to wear it out, And therefore bore it not about, Unlefs on holy-days, or fo. As men their beft apparel do. • 50 Befide, 'tis known he could fpeak Greek As naturally as pigs fqueek : That Latin was no more difficile, Than to a blackbird 'tis to whifble : Being rich in both, he never fcanted ^^ His bounty unto fuch as wanted ; But much of either wou'd afford To many, that had not one word. For Hebrew roots, although they're found To flourifli mofi: in barren ground, 60 PARTI. CANTO I. 7 He had fuch plenty, as fuf&c' d To make fome think him circumcis'd ; And truly fo, perhaps, he was, 'Tis many a pious Chriftian's cafe. He was in Logic a great critic, e^ Profoundly fkill'd in Analytic ; He could diftinguifli, and divide A hair 'twixt fouth, and fouth-weft fide ; On either fide he would difpute. Confute, change hands, and ftill confute ; 70 He'd undertake to prove, by force Of argument, a man's no horfe ; He'd prove a buzzard is no fowl, And that a Lord may be an owl ; A calf an Alderman, a goofe a Juftice, 75 And rooks Committee-Men, or Truftees. He'd run in debt by difputation. And pay with ratiocination. 8 CANTO I. PARTI. All this by fyllogifm true. In mood and figure, he would do. So For Rhetoric, he could not ope His mouth, but out there flew a trope : And when he happen'd to break off I'th' middle of his fpeech, or cough, H' had hard words, ready to fliew why, 85 And tell what rules he did it by. Elfe, when with greatefh art he fpoke, You'd think he talk'd like other folk. For all a Rhetorician's rules Teach nothing but to name his tools. 90 His ordinary rate of fpeech In loftinefs of found was rich ; A Babylonifli diale6l. Which learned pedants much affe6l ; It was a parti-colour'd drefs 95 Of patclid and piebald languages : PART I. CANTO I. 9 'Twas Englifli cut on Greek and Latin. Like fuftian heretofore on fatin. It had an odd promifcuous tone, As if h' had talk'd three parts in one ; Which made fome think, when he did gabble, Th' had heard three labourers of Babel ; Or Cerberus himfelf pronounce A leaili of languages at once. This he as volubly would vent, 105 As if his flock would ne'er be fpent : And truly, to fupport that charge. He had fupplies as vafl and large. For he could coin, or counterfeit New words, with little or no wit ; no Words fo debas'd and hard, no ftone Was hard enough to touch them on ; And when with hafty noife he fpoke 'em, The ignorant for current took 'em. lO CANTO I. PARTI. That had the orator, who once 115 Did fill his mouth with pebble ftones When he harangu'd, but known his phrafe. He would have us'd no other ways. In Mathematics he was greater Than Tycho Brahe, orErra Pater: 120 For he, by geometric fcale. Could take the fize of pots of ale ; Refolve, by fines and tangents fiiraight. If bread or butter wanted weight ; And wifely tell what hour o' th' day 125 The clock does fl:rike, by Algebra. Befide, he was a flirewd Philofopher, And had read ev'ry text and glofs over : Whate'er the crabbed'ft author hath, He underftood b' implicit faith : 130 PARTI. CANTO I. 11 Whatever Sceptic could enquire for ; For every why he had a wherefore : Knew more than forty of them do, As far as words and terms could go. All which he underftood by rote, 135 And, as occafion ferv'd, would quote ; No matter whether right or wrong, They might be either faid or fung. His notions fitted things fo well. That which was which he could not tell ; 140 But oftentimes miftook the one For th' other, as great clerks have done. He could reduce all things to a6ls. And knew their natures by abfbra6ls ; Where entity and quiddity, 145 The ghoft of defundl bodies fly ; Where Truth in perfon does appear. Like words congeal'd in northern air. 12 CANTO I. PARTI. He knew what's what, and that's as high As metaphyfic wit can fly. 150 In fchool-divinity as able As he that hight irrefragable ; A fecond Thomas, or at once. To name them all, another Duns : Profound in all the nominal, 155 And real ways, beyond them all ; And, with as delicate a hand. Could twifl as tough a rope of fand ; And weave fine cobwebs, fit for fcuU That's empty when the moon is full ; 160 Such as take lodgings in a head That's to be let unfurniflied. He could raife fcruples dark and nice. And after folve 'em in a trice; As if Divinity had catch'd 165 The itch, on purpofe to be fcratch'd ,• PARTI. CANTO I. 13 Or, like a mountebank, did wound And flab herfelf with doubts profound, Only to fliew with how fmall pain The fores of Faith are curd again ; 1 70 Altho' by woful proof we find. They always leave a fear behind. He knew the feat of Paradife, Could tell in what degree it lies ; And, as he was difpos'd, could prove it, 175 Below the moon, or elfe above it : What Adam dreamt of when his bride Came from her clofet in his fide : Whether the devil tempted her By an High-Dutch interpreter : 180 If either of them had a navel ,- Who firft made mufic malleable : Whether the ferpent, at the fall. Had cloven feet, or none at all. 14 CANTO I. PARTI. All this without a glofs, or comment, 185 He could unriddle in a moment, In proper terms, fuch as men fmatter, When they throw out, and mifs the matter. For his Religion, it was fit To match his learning and his wit : 190 'Twas Prefbyterian, true blue. For he was of that ftubborn crew Of errant faints, whom all men grant To be the true church militant: Such as do build their faith upon 195 The holy text of pike and gun ; Decide all controverfy by Infallible artillery ; And prove their doctrine orthodox By apoftolic blows, and knocks ; 200 Call fire, and fword, and defolation, A godly-thorough-Reformation, PARTI. CANTO I. 15 Which always muft be carry'd on, And ftill be doing, never done : As if Religion were intended 205 For nothing elfe but to be mended. A fe6l, whofe chief devotion lies In odd perverfe antipathies : In falling out with that or this. And finding fomewhat ftill amifs : 210 More peevifli, crofs, and fplenetic, Than dog diflra6l, or monkey Tick. That with more care keep holy-day The wrong, than others the right way : Compound for fins they are inclin'd to, 215 By damning thofe they have no mind to : Still fo perverfe and oppofite, As if they worfliip'd God for ipite. The felf-fame thing they will abhor One way, and long another for. 220 i6 CANTO I. PARTI. Free-will they one way difavow, Another, nothing elfe allow. All piety confifts therein In them, in other men all fm. Rather than fail, they will defy 225 That which they love mofl tenderly ; Quarrel with minc'dpies, and difparage Their beft and deareft friend — plumb-porridge ; Fat pig and goofe itfelf oppofe, And blafpheme cuftard through the nofe. Th' apoftles of this fierce religion. Like Mahomet's, were afs and widgeon. To whom our knight, by faft inftinfh Of wit and temper, was fo linkt, As if hypocrify and nonfenfe 235 Had got th' advowfon of his confcience. PART u CANTO I. 17 Thus was he gifted and accouter'd, We mean on th' infide, not the outward : That next of all we fliall difcufs ; Then liften. Sirs, it followeth thus : 240 His tawny beard was th' equal grace Both of his wifdom and his face ; In cut and dye fo like a tile, A fudden view it would beguile : The upper part thereof was whey, 245 The nether orange, mixt with grey. This hairy meteor did denounce The fall of fceptres and of crowns ; With grizly type did reprefent Declining age of government, 250 And tell, with hieroglyphic fpade. Its own grave and the ftate's were made. Like Sampfon's heart-breakers, it grew In time to make a nation rue ; i8 CANTO I. PARTI. Tho' it contributed its own fall, 255 To wait upon the public downfal : It was canonic, and did grow In holy orders by ftrid vow : Of rule as fullen and fevere As that of rigid Cordeliere : 260 Twas bound to fuffer perfecution And martyrdom with refolution ; T oppofe itfelf againft the hate And vengeance of th' incenfed ftate : In whofe defiance it was worn, 265 Still ready to be pull'd and torn, With red-hot irons to be tortur'd, Revil'd, and fpit upon, and martyr'd : Maugre all which, 'twas to ftand faft. As long as monarchy fhould laft; 270 But when the ftate fliould hap to reel, 'Twas to fubmit to fatal fteel. PARTI. CANTO I. 19 And fall, as it was confecrate, A facrifice to fall of ftate ; Whofe thread of life the fatal fiflers 275 Did twift together with its whifkers. And twine fo clofe, that Time fliould never. In life or death, their fortunes fever ; But with his rufty fickle mow Both down together at a blow. 280 So learned Taliacotius, from The brawny part of porter's bum. Cut fupplemental nofes, which Would lafh as long as parent breech : But when the date of Nock was out, 285 Off dropt the fympathetic fnout. His back, or rather burthen, fhow'd As if it ftoop'd with its own load. For as TjEneas bore his fire Upon his flioulders thro' the fire, 290 20 CANTO I. PARTI. Our knight did bear no lefs a pack Of his own buttocks on his back : Which now had abiioft got the upper- Hand of his head, for want of crupper. To poife this equally, he bore 295 A paunch of the fame bulk before : Which ftill he had a fpecial care To keep well cramm'd with thrifty fare ; As white-pot, butter-milk, and curds, Such as a country -houfe affords ; 300 With other vi(ftual, which anon We farther fliall dilate upon. When of his hofe we come to treat. The cup-board where he kept his meat. His doublet was of fturdy buff, 305 And though not fword, yet cudgel-proof, Whereby 'twas fitter for his ufe. Who fear'd no blows but fuch as bruife. PARTI. CANTO I. 21 His breeches were of rugged woollen, And had been at the fiege of Biillen; 310 To old King Harry fo well known, Some writers held they were his own. Thro' they were lin'd with many a piece Of amunition-bread and cheefe. And fat black-puddings, proper food 315 For warriors that delight in blood: For, as we faid, he always chofe To carry vittle in his hofe, That often tempted rats and mice. The ammunition to furprife : 320 And when he put a hand but in The one or th'other magazine. They ftoutly in defence on't flood, And from the wounded foe drew blood ; And till th'were ftorm'd and beaten out, 325 Ne'er left the fortify'd redoubt ; 22 CANTO I. PARTI. And tho' knights errant, as fome think, Of old did neither eat nor drink, Becaufe when thorough defarts vail, And regions defolate, they pall:, 303 V/here belly-timber above ground. Or under, was not to be found, Unlefs they graz'd, there's not one word Of their provifion on record : Which made fome confidently write, 335 They had no ftomachs but to fight. 'Tis falfe : for Arthur wore in hall Round table like a farthingal. On which, with fliirt pull'd out behind. And eke before, his good knights din'd. 340 Tho' 'twas no table fome fuppofe, But a huge pair of round trunk-hofe : In which he carry'd as much meat. As he and all his knights could eat, PARTI. CANTO I. 23 When laying by their fwords and truncheons. They took their breakfafls, or their nuncheons. But let that pafs at prefent, left We ftiould forget where we digreft ; As learned authors ufe, to whom We leave it, and to tli purpofe come. 350 His puiflant fword unto his fide, Near his undaunted heart, was ty'd, With bafket-hilt, that would hold broth, And ferve for fight and dinner both. In it he melted lead for bullets, 355 To flioot at foes, and fometimes pullets ; To whom he bore fo fell a grutch. He ne'er gave quarter t' any fuch. The trenchant blade, Toledo trufty. For want of fighting was grown rufty, 360 And ate into itfelf, for lack Of fome body to hew and hack. 24 CANTO I. PARTI. The peaceful fcabbard where it dwelt. The rancor of its edge had felt : For of the lower end two handful 365 It had devour'd, 'twas fo manful, And fo much fcorn'd to lurk in cafe, As if it durft not fliew its face. In many defperate attempts. Of warrants, exigents, contempts, 370 It had appear'd with courage bolder Than Serjeant Bum invading flioulder: Oft had it ta'en pofTeffion, And pris'ners too, or made them run. This fword a dagger had, his page, 375 That was but little for his age : And therefore waited on him fo. As dwarfs upon knights errant do. It was a ferviceable dudgeon. Either for fighting or for drudging : 380 PARTI. CANTO I. ir^ When it had ftabb'd, or broke a head, It would fcrape trenchers, or chip bread, Toaft cheefe or bacon, though it were To bait a moufe-trap, 'twould not care : 'Twould make clean fhoes, and in the earth Set leeks and onions, and fo forth; It had been 'prentice to a brewer. Where this, and more, it did endure ; But left the trade, as many more Have lately done, on the fame fcore. 390 In th' holfters, at the faddle-bow. Two aged piftols he did flow, Among the furplus of fuch meat As in his hofe he could not get. Thefe would inveigle rats with th' fcent, 395 To forage when the cocks were bent ; And fometimes catch 'em with a fnap, As cleverly as th' ableft trap. 26 CANTO I. PAP^T I. They were upon hard duty ftill. And every night Hood fentinel, 400 To guard the magazine i' th' hofe, From two-legg'd, and from four-legg'd foes. Thus clad and fortify'd, Sir Knight, From peaceful home, fet forth to fight. But firil, with nimble adlive force, 405 He got on th' outfide of his horfe : For having but one ftirrup ty'd T'his faddle, on the further fide, It was fo fliort, h' had much ado To reach it with his defp'rate toe. 410 But after many ftrains and heaves, He got upon the faddle eaves. From whence he vaulted into th' feat. With fo much vigour, ftrength, and heat, That he had almofl: tumbled over 415 With his own weight, but did recover, PARTI. CANTO I. 27 By laying hold on tail and mane, Which oft he us'd inftead of rein. But now we talk of mounting fteed. Before we further do proceed, 420 It doth behove us to fay fomething Of that which bore our valiant bumkin. The beafh was fturdy, large, and tall. With mouth of meal, and eyes of wall; I would fay eye, for h' had but one, 425 As moft agree, though fome fay none. He was well ftay'd, and in his gait, Preferv'd a grave, majeftic ftate. At fpur or fwitch no more he fkipt. Or mended pace, than Spaniard whipt : 430 And yet fo fiery, he would bound. As if he griev'd to touch the ground : That Casfar's horfe, who, as fame goes, Had corns upon his feet and toes. 28 CANTO I. PARTI. Was not by half fo tender-hooft, 435 Nor trod upon the ground fo foft : And as that beaft would kneel and ftoop, Some write, to take his rider up : So Hudibras his, 'tis well known. Would often do, to fet him down. 440 We fhall not need to fay what lack Of leather was upon his back : For that was hidden under pad, And breech of Knight galfd full as bad. His flrutting ribs on both fides fliow'd 445 Like furrows he himfelf had plow'd : For underneath the fkirt of pannel, 'Twixt every two there was a channel. His draggling tail hung in the dirt. Which on his rider he would flurt ; 450 Still as his tender fide he prickt. With arm'd heel, or with unarm'd, kickt ; PARTI. CANTO L 29 For Hudibras wore but one ipur. As wifely knowing, could he ftir To a6i:ive trot one fide ofs horfe, 455 The other would not hang an arfe. A Squire he had, whofe name was Ralph, That in th' adventure went his half. Though writers, for more ftately tone. Do call him Ralpho, 'tis all one : 460 And when we can, with metre fafe, We'll call him fo, if not, plain Raph ; For rhyme the rudder is of verfes. With which, like fliips, they fteer their courfes. An equal flock of wit and valour 465 He had laid in, by birth a taylor. The mighty Tyrian queen that gain'd, With fubtle flireds, a trad of land, Did leave it, with a caftle fair. To his great anceftor, her heir ; 470 oo CANTO I. PARTI. o From him defcended crofs-legg'd knights ; Fam'd for their faith and warlike fights Againft the bloody Cannibal, Whom they deftroy'd both great and fmall. This fhurdy Squire had, as well 475 As the bold Trojan knight, feen hell, Not with a comiterfeited pafs Of golden bough, but true gold lace. His knowledge was not far behind The knight's, but of another kind, 480 And he another way came by't ; Some call it gifts, and fome new light. A lib'ral art that cofbs no pains Of ftudy, indufbry, or brains. His wits were fent him for a token, 485 But in the carriage crack'd and broken. Like commendation nine-pence crookt With — to and from my love — it lookt. PARTI. CANTO I. 31 He ne'er confiderd it, as loth To look a gift-horfe in the mouth ; 490 And very wifely would lay forth No more upon it than 'twas worth. But as he got it freely, fo He fpent it frank and freely too. For faints themfelves will fometimes be, 495 Of gifts that cofh them nothing, free. By means of this, with hem and cough, Prolongers to enlighten' d fnuff. He could deep myfteries unriddle, As eafily as thread a needle ; 500 For as of vagabonds we fay. That they are ne'er befide their way : Whate'er men fpeak by this new light, Still they are fure to be i' th' right. 'Tis a dark-lanthorn of the fpirit, 505 Which none fee by but thofe that bear it; 32 CANTO I. PART I. A light that falls down from on high, For fpiritual trades to cozen by : An ignis fatuus, that bewitches, And leads men into pools and ditches, 510 To make them dip themfelves, and found For Chriftendom in dirty pond ; To dive, like wild-fowl, for falvation, And iifh to catch regeneration. This light inlpires, and plays upon 515 The nofe of faint, like bag-pipe drone. And fpeaks through hollow empty foul. As through a trunk, or whifp'ring hole. Such language as no mortal ear But fpiritual eaves-droppers can hear. 520 So Phoebus, or fome friendly mufe. Into fmall poets fong infufe ; Which they at fecond-hand rehearfe. Thro' reed or bag-pipe, verfe for verfe. PARTI. CANTO I. 33 Thus Ralph became infallible, 525 As three or four-legg d oracle, The ancient cup, or modern chair ; Spoke truth point-blank, though unaware. For myftic learning wondrous able In magic talifman, and cabal, 530 Whofe primitive tradition reaches. As far as Adam's firft green breeches : . Deep-lighted in intelligences, Ideas, atoms, influences ; And much of terra incognita, 535 Th' intelligible world could fay ; A deep occult philofopher. As learn'd as the wild Irifli are. Or Sir Agrippa, for profound And folid lying nuich renown'd : 540 He Anthropofophus, and Floud, And Jacob Behmen underfhood ; 34 CANTO I. PARTI. Knew many an amulet and charm. That would do neither good nor harm : In Rofycrucian lore as learned, 545 As he that vere adeptus earned : He underftood the fpeech of birds As well as they themfelves do words : Could tell what fubtleft parrots mean, That fpeak and think contrary clean ; 550 What member 'tis of whom they talk, When they cry Rope — and Walk, Knave, walk. He'd extradl numbers out of matter, And keep them in a glafs, like water, Of fov'reign pow'r to make men wife ; ^^5 For, dropt in blear, thick-fighted eyes. They'd make them fee in darkeft night. Like owls, tho' purblind in the light. By help of thefe, as he pofleft. He had firft matter feen undreft : 560 PART I. CANTO I. 35 He took her naked, all alone, Before one rag of form was on. The chaos too he had defcry'd, And feen quite thro', or elfe he ly'd : Not that of pafteboard, which men lliew 565 For groats, at fair of Barthofmew ; But its great grandfire, firfh o' th' name, Whence that and Reformation came, Both coufm-germans, and right able T' inveigle and draw in the rabble : 570 But Reformation was, fome fay, O' th' younger houfe to puppet-play. He could foretel whats'ever was. By confequence, to come to pafs : As death of great men, alterations, ^j^ Difeafes, battles, inundations : All this without th' eclipfe of th' fun, Or dreadful comet, he hath done k 36 CANTO I. PARTI. By INWARD LIGHT, a way as good. And eafy to be underflood : 580 But with more lucky hit than thofe That ufe to make the ftars depofe. Like knights o' th' poft, and falfely charge Upon themfelves what others forge ; As if they were confenting to 585 All mifchief in the world men do : Or, like the devil, did tempt and fway 'em To rogueries, and then betray 'em. They'll fearch a planet's houfe, to know Who broke and robb'd a houfe below; 590 Examine Venus and the Moon, Who ftole a thimble and a fpoon ; And tho' they nothing will confefs. Yet by their very looks can guefs. And tell what guilty afpe6l bodes, 595 Who ftole, and who receiv'd the goods : PARTI. CANTO I. 37 They'll queftion Mars, and, by his look, Dete6l who 'twas that nimm'd a cloke ; Make Mercury confefs, and 'peach Thofe thieves which he himfelf did teach. They'll find, i' th' phyfiognomies O' th' planets, all men's deftinies : Like him that took the do6lor's bill, And fwallow'd it inftead o' th' pill, Caft the nativity o' th' queftion, 605 And from pofitions to be gueft on. As fure as if they knew the moment Of Native's birth, tell what will come on't. They'll feel the pulfes of the ftars. To find out agues, coughs, catarrhs : 610 And tell what crilis does divine The rot in flieep, or mange in fwine : In men, what gives or cures the itch, What made them cuckolds, poor, or rich ; 38 CANTO L PARTI. What gains, or lofes, hangs, or faves, 615 What makes men great, what fools, or knaves ; But not what wife, for only of thofe The fhars, they fay, cannot difpofe. No more than can the aftrologians : There they fay right, and like true Trojans. This Ralpho knew, and therefore took The other courfe, of which we fpoke. Thus was th' accomplifli'd fquire endu'd With gifts and knowledge per'lous fhrewd : Never did trufty fquire with knight, 625 Or knight with fquire, e'er jump more right. Their arms and equipage did fit, As well as virtues, parts, and wit : Their valours too, were of a rate, And out they fally'd at the gate. 630 Few miles on horfeback had they jogged, But fortune unto them turn'd dogged ; PARTI. CANTO I. 39 For they a fad adventure met, Of which we now prepare to treat : But ere we venture to unfold 635 Achievements fo refolv'd, and bold, We fliould, as learned poets ufe. Invoke th' affiftance of fome mufe ; However critics count it fillier. Than jugglers talking t' a familiar : 640 We think 'tis no great matter which. They're all alike, yet we fliall pitch On one that fits our purpofe moft. Whom therefore thus we do accofl : — Thou that with ale, or viler liquors, 645 Didft infpire Withers, Pryn, and Vickars, And force them, though it were in fpite Of Nature, and their ftars, to write ; Who, as we find in fuUen writs, And crofs-grain'd works of modern wits, 650 i{o C AN TO I. PART 1. With vanity, opinion, want, The wonder of the ignorant. The praifes of the author, penn'd By himfelf, or wit-infuring friend ; The itch of pi(5lure in the front, 6^^ With bays, and wicked rhyme upon't. All that is left o' th' forked hill To make men fcribble without fkill ; Canft make a poet, fpite of fate, And teach all people to tranflate ; 660 Though out of languages, in which They underftand no part of fpeech ; Affift me but this once, I'mplore, And I lliall trouble thee no more. In weftern clime there is a town, 66g To thofe that dwell therein well-known. Therefore there needs no more be faid here. We unto them refer our reader ; PART I. CANTO I. 41 For brevity is very good, When w' are, or are not underftood. 670 To this town people did repair On days of market, or of fair, And to crack'd fiddle, and hoarfe tabor, In merriment did drudge and labour ; But now a fport more formidable 675 Had rak'd together village rabble : 'Twas an old way of recreating. Which learned butchers call bear-baiting ; A bold advent'rous exercife. With ancient heroes in high prize ; 680 For authors do affirm it came From Ifhhmian or Nemsean game ; Others derive it from the bear That's fix'd in northern hemifphere, And round about the pole does make 685 A circle, like a bear at ftake, 42 CANTO I. PARTI. That at the chain's end wheels about, And overturns the rabble-rout : For after folemn proclamation, In the bear's name, as is the fafliion, 690 According to the law of arms. To keep men from inglorious harms. That none prefume to come fo near As forty foot of ftake of bear ; If any yet be fo fool-hardy, 695 T' expofe themfelves to vain jeopardy, If they come wounded off, and lame. No honour's got by fuch a maim, Altho' the bear gain much, b'ing bound In honour to make good his ground, 700 When he's engag'd, and take no notice. If any prefs upon him, who 'tis. But lets them know, at their own coft. That he intends to keep his poft. PARTI. CANTO I. 43 7^5 This to prevent, and other harms, Which ahvays wait on feats of arms, For in the hurry of a fray 'Tis hard to keep out of harm's way. Thither the Knight his courfe did fleer, To keep the peace 'twixt dog and bear, 710 As he believ'd he was bound to do In confcience, and commiffion too ; And therefore thus befpoke the Squire : — We that are wifely mounted higher Than conftables in curule wit, 715 When on tribunal bench we fit. Like fpeculators, fliould forefee. From Pharos of authority. Portended mifchiefs farther than Low proletarian tithing-men : 720 And therefore being informed by bruit, That dog and bear are to difpute. 44 CANTO I. PARTI. For fo of late men fighting name, Becaufe they often prove the fame ; For where he firft does hap to be, 725 The laft does coincidere. Quantum m nobis, have thought good To fave th' expence of Chriftian blood. And try if we, by mediation Of treaty, and accommodation, 730 Can end the quarrel, and compofe The bloody duel without blows. Are not our liberties, our lives. The laws, religion, and our wives. Enough at once to lie at ftake 735 For covenant, and the caufe's fake ? But in that quarrel dogs and bears, As well as we, muft venture theirs ? This feud, by Jefuits invented. By evil counfel is fomented ; 740 PARTI. CANTO I. 45 There is a Machiavilian plot, Tho' ev'ry nare olfadl it not. And deep defign in't to divide The well-afFe6led that confide. By fetting brother againft brother, 745 To claw and curry one another. Have we not enemies plus fatis, That cane et angue pejus hate us ? And fliall we turn our fangs and claws Upon our own felves, without caufe ^ 750 That fome occult defign doth lie In bloody cynardlomachy. Is plain enough to him that knows How faints lead brothers by the nofe. I wifli myfelf a pfeudo-prophet, yg^ But fure fome mifchief will come of it, Unlefs by providential wit. Or force, we averruncate it. 46 CANTO I. PARTI. For what defign, what intereft. Can beaft have to encounter beaft ? 760 They fight for no efpoufed caufe, Frail privilege, fundamental laws, Nor for a thorough reformation, Nor covenant, nor proteftation, Nor liberty of confciences, ^6^ Nor lords' and commons' ordinances ; Nor for the church, nor for church-lands, To get them in their own no hands ; Nor evil counfellors to bring To juftice, that feduce the king ; 770 Nor for the worfliip of us men, Tho' we have done as much for them. Th' Egyptians worfliipp'd dogs, and for Their faith made fierce and zealous war. Others ador'd a rat, and fome jj^ For that church fuffer'd martyrdom. PARTI. CANTO I. 47 The Indians fought for the truth Of th' elephant, and monkey's tooth ; And many, to defend that faith, Fought it out mordicus to death ; 780 But no beaft ever was fo flight, For man, as for his God, to fight. They had more wit, alas ! and know Themfelves and us better than fo : But we who only do infufe 785 The rage in them like boute-feus, 'Tis our example that inftils In them th' infection of our ills. For, as fome late philofophers Have well obferv'd, beafts that converfe 790 With man take after him, as hogs Get pigs all the year, and bitches dogs. Juft fo, by our example, cattle Learn to give one another battle. 48 CANTO I. PARTI. We read, in Nero's time, the Heathen, 795 When they deftroy'd the Chriflian brethren, They few'd them in the fkins of bears. And then fet dogs about their ears ; From whence, no doubt, th' invention came Of this lewd antichriftian game. 800 To this, quoth Ralpho, verily The point feems very plain to me ; It is an antichriftian game. Unlawful both in thing and name. Firfh, for the name ; the word bear-baiting Is carnal, and of man's creating ; For certainly there's no fuch word In all the Scripture on record ; Therefore unlawful, and a fm ; And fo is, fecondly, the thing: 810 A vile aiTembly 'tis, that can No more be prov'd by Scripture, than PART I. CANTO I. 49 Provincial, claflic, national; Mere human creature-cobwebs all. Thirdly, It is idolatrous ; 81.'; For when men run a-whoring thus With their inventions, whatfoe'er The thing be, whether dog or bear, It is idolatrous and pagan. No lefs than worfliipping of dagon. 820 Quoth Hudibras, I fmell a rat ; Ralpho, thou doft prevaricate : For tho' the thefis which thou lay'ft Be true, ad amuffim, as thou fay'fb ; For the bear-baiting fliould appear, 825 Jure divino, lawfuller Than fynods are, thou doft deny, Totidem verbis — fo do I ; Yet there's a fallacy in this ; For if by fly homasofis, 830 50 CANTO I. PARTI. Thou wouldft fophiftically imply Both are unlawful — I deny. And I, quoth Ralpho, do not doubt But bear-baiting may be made out. In gofpel-times, as lawful as is 835 Provincial, or parochial claflis ; And that both are fo near of kin. And like in all, as well as fin, That, put 'em in a bag and fliake 'em, Yourfelf o' th' fudden would miftake 'em, 840 And not know which is which, unlefs You meafure by their wickednefs ; For 'tis not hard t' imagine whether O' th' two is word, tho' I name neither. Quoth Hudibras, Thou offer'fl much, 845 But art not able to keep touch. PARTI. CANTO I. 51 Mira de lente, as 'tis i' th' adage, Id eft, to make a leek a cabbage ; Thou canft at beft but overftrain A paradox, and th' own hot brain ; 850 For what can fynods have at all With bear that's analogical ? Or what relation has debating Of church-affairs with bear-baiting ? A juft comparifon ftill is 855 Of things ejufdem generis : ' And then what genus rightly doth Include, and comprehend them both ? If animal, both of us may As juflly pafs for bears as they ; 860 For we are animals no lefs, Altho' of diff'rent fpeciefes. But, Ralpho, this is no fit place. Nor time, to argue out the cafe : 5^ CANTO I. PARTI. For now the field is not far off, 865 Where we muft give the world a proof Of deeds, not words, and fuch as fuit Another manner of difpute : A confroverfy that affords A6lions for arguments, not words; 870 Which we muft manage at a rate Of prowefs, and condudl adequate To what our place, and fame doth promife. And all the godly expedl from us. Nor ftiall they be deceiv'd, unlefs 875 Ware flurr'd and outed by fuccefs ; Succefs, the mark no mortal wit, Or fureft hand can always hit : For whatfoe'er we perpetrate. We do but row, w' are fteer'd by fate, 880 Which in fuccefs oft' difinherits. For fpurious caufes, nobleft merits. PARTI. CANTO I. 53 Great adlions are not always true fbns Of great and mighty refolutions ; Nor do the bold'fh attempts bring forth 885 Events flill equal to their worth ; But fometimes fail, and in their ftead Fortune and cowardice fucceed. Yet we have no great caufe to doubt. Our adlions flill have borne us out ; 890 Which, tho' they're known to be fo ample. We need not copy from example ; We're not the only perfons durft Attempt this province, nor the firft. In northern clime a val'rous knight 895 Did whilom kill his bear in fight, And wound a fiddler : we have both Of thefe the objedls of our wroth, And equal fame and glory from Th' attempt, or vidlory to come. 900 54 CANTO I. PART I. 'Tis fung, there is a valiant Mamaluke, In foreign land, yclep'd To whom we have been off compar d For perfon, parts, addrefs, and beard ; Both equally reputed flout, 905 And in the fame caufe both have fought : He oft', in iuch attempts as thefe. Came off with glory and fuccefs : Nor will we fail in th' execution, For want of equal refolution. 910 Honour is, like a widow, won With brifk attempt and putting on ; With ent'ring manfully, and urging ; Not flow approaches, like a virgin. This faid, as once the Phrygian knight. So ours, with rufhy fteel did fmite His Trojan horfe, and jufl as much He mended pace upon the touch ; PART I. CANTO I. 55 But from his empty ftomach groan'd, Juft as that hollow beaft did found, 920 And, angry, anfwer'd from behind. With brandifli'd tail and blaft of wind. So have I feen, with armed heel, A Wight beftride a Commonweal, While ftill the more he kick'd and fpurr'd, 925 The lefs the fullen jade has ftirr'd. PART I. SECOND CANTO. Ci)e ^Irsument. 'The catalogue and charaSler Of tld enemies beji men of war. Whom, hi a bold harangue, the Knight Defies, and challenges to fight : H' encounters Talgol, routs the Bear, And takes the Fiddler prifoner. Conveys him to enchanted cafile. There finds him fafi in wooden Bafiile. Par/- /. Caiiiv X. Lui,: SO'/. HUDIBRAS. CANTO 11. 1 HERE was an ancient fage philofopher That had read Alexander Rofs over. And fwore the world, as he could prove, Was made of fighting, and of love. Jiifh fo romances are, for what elfe Is in them all but love and battles ? Go CANTO II. PARTI. O' th' firft of thefe w' have no great matter To treat of, but a world o' th' latter. In which to do the mjur'd right, We mean in what concerns juft fight. lo Certes, our Authors are to blame, For to make fome well-founding name A pattern fit for modern knights To copy out in frays and fights, Like thofe that do a whole ftreet raze, 15 To build another in the place ; They never care how many others They kill, without regard of mothers, Or wives, or children, fo they can Make up fome fierce, dead-doing man, 20 Compos'd of many ingredient valours, Juft like the manhood of nine taylors : So a wild Tartar, when he fpies A man that's handfome, valiant, wife. PART I. CANTO II. 61 If he can kill him, thinks t' inherit 25 His wit, his beauty, and his fpirit ; As if juft fo much he enjoy'd, As in another is deflroy'd : For when a giant's flain in iight. And mow'd o'erthwart, or cleft downright. It is a heavy cafe, no doubt, A man fliould have his brains beat out, Becaufe he's tall, and has large bones, As men kill beavers for their ftones. But, as for our part, we fliall tell 35 The naked truth of what befel. And as an equal friend to both The Knight and Bear, but more to troth ; With neither fadlion fliall take part. But give to each a due defert, 40 And never coin a formal lie on't. To make the Knight o'ercome the giant. 62 CANTO II. PARTI. This b'ing profeft, we've hopes enough, And now go on where we left oiF. They rode, but authors having not 45 Determin'd whether pace or trot, That is to fay, whether toUutation, As they do term't, or fuccuffation, We leave it, and go on, as now Suppofe they did, no matter how ; 50 Yet fome, from fubtle hints, have got Myfterious light it was a trot : But let that pafs ; they now begun To fpur their living engines on : For as whipp'd tops and bandy'd balls, 55 The learned hold, are animals ; So horfes they affirm to be Mere engines made by geometry, And were invented firft from engines, As Indian Britains were from Penguins. 60 PARTI. CANTO II. 63 So let them be, and, as I was faying, They their live engines ply'd, not flaying Until they reach'd the fatal champaign Which th' enemy did then encamp on ; The dire Pharfalian plain, where battle 65 Was to be wag'd 'twixt pyiflant cattle, And fierce auxiliary men. That came to aid their brethren ; Who now began to take the field, As knight from ridge of fteed beheld. 70 For, as our modern wits behold. Mounted a pick-back on the old. Much farther off, much farther he Rais'd on his aged beaft, could fee ; Yet not fufRcient to defcry j^ All poflures of the enemy : Wherefore he bids the fquire ride further, T' obferve their numbers, and their order. 64 CANTO II. PART h That when their motions they had known, He might know how to fit his own. 80 Mean-while he flopp'd his willing fteed, To fit himfelf for martial deed : Both kinds of metal he prepar'd, Either to give blows, or to ward ; Corn-age and fteel, both of great force, 85 Prepar'd for better, or for worfe. His death-charg'd pifhols he did fit well, Drawn out from life-preferving vittle ; Thefe being prim'd, with force he labour'd To free 's blade from retentive fcabbard ; 90 And after many a painful pluck. From rufty durance he bail'd tuck : Then fliook himfelf, to fee what prowefs In fcabbard of his arms fat loofe ; And, rais'd upon his defp'rate foot, 95 On ftirrup-fide he gaz'd about. PART I. CANTO II. 65 Portending blood, like blazing ftar, The beacon of approaching war. The Squire advanc'd with greater fpeed Than could b' expelled from his fteed ; 100 But far more in returning made ; For now the foe he had furvey'd, Rang'd, as to him they did appear, With van, main-battle, wings, and rear. r th' head of all this warlike rabble, 105 Crowdero march'd expert and able. Inftead of trumpet, and of drum. That makes the warrior s ftomach come, Whofe noife whets valour fliarp, like beer By thunder turn'd to vinegar; no For if a trumpet found, or drum beat. Who has not a month's mind to combat } A fqueaking engine he apply'd Unto his neck, on north-eaft fide. 66 CANTO 11. PARTI. Juft where the hangman does difpofe, 115 To fpecial friends, the fatal noofe : For 'tis great grace, when ftatefmen fhraight Difpatch a friend, let others wait. His warped ear hung o'er the ftrings. Which was but foufe to chitterlings: 120 For guts, fome write, ere they are fodden, Are fit for mufic, or for pudden ; From whence men borrow ev ry kind Of minftrelfy, by ftring or wind. His grifly beard was long and thick, 125 With which he ftrung his fiddleftick ; For he to horfe-tail fcorn'd to owe For what on his own chin did grow. Chiron, the four-legg'd bard, had both A beard and tail of his own growth ; 1 30 And yet by authors 'tis averr'd. He made ufe only of his beard. PART I. CAN T O II. 67 In Staffordfliire, where virtuous worth Does raife the minftrelfv, not birth : Where bulls do choofe the boldeft king, 135 And ruler o'er the men of ftring, As once in Perfia, 'tis faid, Kings were proclaim'd by a horfe that neigh'd ; He, bravely vent'ring at a crown. By chance of war was beaten down, 140 And wounded fore : his leg then broke. Had got a deputy of oak ; For when a fliin in fight is cropt, The knee with one of timber's propt, Efteem'd more honourable than the other, And takes place, tho' the younger brother. Next march'd brave Orfm, famous for Wife condu6l, and fuccefs in war; A fkilful leader, ftout, fevere. Now marfhal to the champion bear. 150 68 CANTO II. PART I. With truncheon tipp'd with iron head, The warrior to the lifts he led; With folemn march, and ftately pace, But far more grave and folemn face ; Grave as the emperor of Pegu, 155 Or Spanifli potentate, Don Diego. This leader was of knowledge great. Either for charge, or for retreat : Knew when t' engage his bear pell-mell, And when to bring him off as well. 160 So lawyers, left the bear defendant, And plaintiff dog, fiiould make an end on't. Do flave and tail with writs of error, Reverfe of judgment, and demurrer. To let them breathe awhile, and then 165 Cry whoop, and fet them on agen. As Romulus a wolf did rear. So he was dry-nurs'd by a bear. PART I. CANTO II. 69 That fed him with the purchas'd prey Of many a fierce and bloody fray ; 1 70 Bred up, where difcipline moft rare is. In military garden Paris : For foldiers heretofore did grow In gardens, jufh as weeds do now. Until fome fplayfoot politicians 175 T Apollo offer'd up petitions. For licenfmg a new invention They' ad found out of an antique engin. To root out all the weeds, that grow In public gardens, at a blow, 180 And leave th' herbs ftanding. Quoth Sir Sun, My friends, that is not to be done. Not done 1 quoth Statefmen : Yes, an't pleafe ye. When 'tis once known you'll fay 'tis eafy. Why then let's know it, quoth Apollo : 185 We'll beat a drum, and they'll all follow. 70 CANTO II. PARTI. A drum ! quoth Phoebus, Troth that's true, A pretty invention, quaint and new : But tho' of voice and inftrument We are, 'tis true, chief prefident, 1 90 We fuch loud mulic do n't profefs. The devil's mafter of that office. Where it mufh pafs ; if't be a drum. He'll fign it with Cler. Pari. Dom. Com. To him apply yourfelves, and he 195 Will foon difpatch you for his fee. They did fo, but it prov'd fo ill, They'ad better let 'em grow there ftill. But to refume what we difcourfmg Were on before, that is, ftout Orfm ; 200 That which fo oft' by fundry writers. Has been apply'd t' almofh all fighters, More juftly may b' afcrib'd to this Than any other warrior, viz. PART I. CANTO II. 71 None ever afted both parts bolder, 205 Both of a chieftain and a foldier. He was of great defcent, and high For fplendor and antiquity. And from celeftial origine, Deriv'd himfelf in a right line ; 210 Not as the ancient heroes did. Who, that their bafe births might be hid, Knowing they were of doubtful gender. And that they came in at a win dor e, Made Jupiter himfelf, and others 215 O' th' gods, gallants to their own mothers. To get on them a race of champions. Of which old Homer firft made lampoons ; Ar6lophylax, in northern fphere. Was his undoubted anceftor ; 220 From whom his great forefathers came, And in all ages bore his name : 72 CANTO II. PART I. Leani'd he was in med'c'nal lore, For by his fide a pouch he wore, Replete with ftrange hermetic powder. That wounds nine miles point-blank would folder: By fkilful chymift, with great coft, Extracted from a rotten poft ; But of a heav'nlier influence Than that which mountebanks difpenfe; 230 Tho' by Promethean fii-e made, As they do quack that drive that trade. For as when flovens do amifs At others' doors, by flool or pifs. The learned write, a red-hot fpit 235 B'ing prudently apply'd to it, Will convey mifchief from the dung Unto the part that did the Avrong ; So this did healing, and as fure As that did mifchief, this would cure. 240 PARTI. CANTO II. 73 Thus virtuous Orfin was eiidu'd With learning, condu6l, fortitude Incomparable ; and as the prince Of poets, Homer, fung long fince, A fkilful leech is better far, 245 Than half a hundred men of war ; So he appear'd, and by his fkill, No lefs than dint of fword, cou'd kill. The gallant Bruin march' d next him, With vifage formidably grim, 250 And rugged as a Saracen, Or Turk of Mahomet's own kin, Clad in a mantle de la guerre Of rough, impenetrable fur ; And in his nofe, like Indian king, 255 He wore, for ornament, a ring ; About his neck a threefold gorget. As rough as trebled leathern target; 74 CANTO 11. PARTI. Armed, as heralds cant, and languid, Or, as the vulgar fay, fliarp-fanged : 260 For as the teeth in beafts of prey Are fwords, with which they fight in fray. So fwords, in men of war, are teeth. Which they do eat their vittle with. He was, by biith, fome authors write, ^^5 A Ruffian, fome a Mufcovite, And 'mong the Coffacks had been bred, Of whom we in diurnals read. That ferve to fill up pages here. As with their bodies ditches there, 270 Scrimanfky was his coufin-german. With whom he ferv'd, and fed on vermine ; And, when thefe fail'd, he'd fuck his claws. And quarter himfelf upon his paws : And tho' his countrymen, the Huns, 275 Did flew their meat between their bums PARTI. CANTO II. 75 And th' horfes' backs o'er which they ftraddle, And ev'ry man ate up his faddle ; He was not half fo nice as they, But ate it raw when't came in's way. 280 He had trac'd countries far and near, More than Le Blanc the traveller, Who writes, he Tpous'd in India, Of noble houfe, a lady gay. And got on her a race of worthies, 285 As flout as any upon earth is. Full many a fight for him between Talgol and Orfin oft' had been. Each ftriving to deferve the crown Of a fav'd citizen ; the one 290 To guard his bear, the other fought To aid his dog ; both made more ftout By fev'ral fpurs of neighbourhood, Church-fellow-memberfhip, and blood ; y6 CANTO II. PARTI. But Talgol, mortal foe to cows, 295 Never got aught of him but blows ; Blows hard and heavy, fuch as he Had lent, repaid with ufury. Yet Talgol was of courage flout, And vanquifli'd oft'ner than he fought ; 300 Inur'd to labour, fweat, and toil. And, like a champion, ftione with oil ; Right many a widow his keen blade, And many fatherlefs had made ; He many a boar, and huge dun cow 305 Did, like another Guy, o'erthrow ; But Guy, with him in fight compar'd, Had like the boar or dun-cow far'd : With greater troops of flieep h' had fought Than Ajax, or bold Don Quixot; 310 And many a ferpent of fell kind. With wings before, and flings behind, PARTI. CANTO II. 77 Subdu'd; as poets fay, long agone, Bold Sir George Saint George did the dragon. Nor engine, nor device polemic, Difeafe, nor doftor epidemic, Tho' ftor'd with deletery med'cines. Which whofoever took is dead fmce. E'er fent fo vaft a colony To both the under worlds as he ; 320 For he was of that noble trade That demi-gods and heroes made, Slaughter, and knocking on the head. The trade to which they all were bred ; And is, like others, glorious when 3^5 'Tis great and large, but bafe, if mean : The former rides in triumph for it. The latter in a two-wheel'd chariot. For daring to profane a thing So facred, with vile bungling. 330 78 CANTO IL parti. Next thefe the brave Magnano came, Magnano, great in martial fame ; Yet, when with Orfin he wag'd fight, 'Tis fung he got but little by 't : Yet he was fierce as foreft boar, 335 Whofe fpoils upon his back he wore, As thick as Ajax feven-fold fliield. Which o'er his brazen arms he held ; But brafs was feeble to refift The fury of his armed fift ; 340 Nor could the hardeft iron hold out Againft his blows, but they would through 't. In magic he was deeply read. As he that made the brazen head ; Profoundly fkill'd in the black art, 345 As Englifli Merlin, for his heart ; But far more fkilful in the fpheres, Than he was at the fieve and fliears. PARTI. CANTO II. 79 He cou'd transform himfelf to colour, As like the devil as a collier ; 350 As like as hypocrites in fliow Are to true faints, or crow to crow. Of warlike engines he was author, Devis'd for quick difpatch of flaughter : The cannon, blunderbufs, and faker, 355 He was th' inventor of, and maker : The trumpet and the kettle-drum Did both from his invention come. He was the firft that e'er did teach To make, and how to flop, a breach. 360 A lance he bore with iron pike, Th' one half wou'd thruft, the other ftrike ; And when their forces he had join d, He fcorn'd to turn his parts behind. 8o CANTO II. PART I. He Trulla lov'd, Trulla more bright 365 Than burnifli'd armour of her knight ; A bold virago, ftout, and tall, As Joan of France, or Engliih Mall : Thro' perils both of wind and limb. Thro' thick and thin flie follow 'd him 370 In ev'ry adventure h' undertook. And never him, or it forfook : At breach of wall, or hedge furprife. She fliar'd i' th' hazard, and the prize ; At beating quarters up, or forage, 375 Behav'd herfelf with matchlefs courage. And laid about in fight more bufily Than th' Amazonian Dame Penthefile. And tho' fome critics here cry fliame. And fay our authors are to blame, 380 That, fpight of all philofophers. Who hold no females flout but bears. PARTI. CANTO II. 81 And heretofore did fo abhor That women fliould pretend to war, They would not fuffer the flout'ft dame 385 To fv/ear by Hercules his name ; Make feeble ladies, in their works. To fight like termagants and Turks; To lay their native arms afide, Their modefty, and ride aftride ; 390 To run a-tilt at men, and wield Their naked tools in open field; As fhout Armida, bold Thaleftris, And file that would have been the miftrefs Of Gundibert, but he had grace, 395 And rather took a country lafs : They fay 'tis falfe, without all fenfe. But of pernicious confequence To government, which they fiippofe Can never be upheld in profe : 400 82 CANTO II. PARTI. Strip nature naked to the fkin. You'll find about her no fuch thing. It may be fo, yet what we tell Of Trulla, that's improbable. Shall be depos'd by thofe have feen 't, 405 Or, what's as good, produc'd in print ; And if they will not take our word, We'll prove it true upon record. The upright Cerdon next advanc't. Of all his race the valiant 'ft; 410 Cerdon the Great, renown'd in fong. Like Herc'les, for repair of wrong : He rais'd the low, and fortify'd The weak againft the ftrongefh fide : 111 has he read, that never hit 415 On him in mufes' deathlefs writ. He had a weapon keen and fierce, That thro' a bull-hide fliield would pierce, PART I. C A N T O II. 83 And cut it in a thoufand pieces, Tho' tougher than the Knight of Greece his, With whom his black-thumb'd anceftor Was comrade in the ten years' war : For when the reftlefs Greeks fat down So many years before Troy town, And were renown'd, as Homer writes, 425 For well-fol'd boots no lefs than fights. They ow'd that glory only to His anceftor, that made them fo. Faft friend he was to reformation, Until 'twas worn quite out of fafliion; 430 Next redlifier of wry law. And would make three to cure one flaw. Learned he was, and could take note, Tranfcribe, collefl, tranflate, and quote : But preaching was his chiefeft talent, 435 Or argument, in which being valiant. 84 CANTO II. PARTI. He us'd to lay about, and ftickle, Like ram or bull at conventicle : For difputants, like rams and bulls, Do fight with arms that fpring from fculls. Laft Colon came, bold man of war, Deftin'd to blows by fatal ftar ; Right expert in command of horfe. But cruel, and without remorfe. That which of Centaur long ago 445 Was faid, and has been wrefted to Some other knights, was true of this : He and his horfe were of a piece : One fpirit did inform them both. The felf-fame vigour, fury, wroth ; 450 Yet he was much the rougher part, And always had the harder heart, Altho' his horfe had been of thofe That fed on man's flefli, as fame goes : PARTI. CANTO II. 85 Strange food for horfe ! and yet, alas ! 455 It may be true, for flefli is grafs. Sturdy he was, and no lefs able Than Hercules to cleanfe a ftable ; As great a drover, and as great A critic too, in hog or neat. 460 He ripp'd the womb up of his mother. Dame Tellus, 'caufe flie wanted fother. And provender, wherewith to feed Himfelf and his lefs cruel fteed. It was a queftion whether he, 465 Or 's horfe, were of a family More worfliipful ; 'till antiquaries. After th' ad almoft por'd out their eyes. Did very learnedly decide The bus'nefs on the horfe's fide, 470 And prov'd not only horfe, but cows. Nay pigs, were of the elder houfe : 86 CANTO II. PARTI. For beafts, when man was but a piece Of earth himfelf, did th' earth poflefs. Thefe worthies were the chief that led The combatants each in the head Of his command, with arms and rage. Ready and longing to engage. The num'rous rabble was drawn out Of fev'ral countries round about, 480 From villages remote, and fliires. Of eaft and weftern hemifpheres. From foreign parifties and regions, Of different manners, fpeech, religions, Came men and maftiffs; fome to fight 485 For fame and honour, fome for fight. And now the field of death, the lifts, Were enter'd by antagonifts, And blood was ready to be broach'd. When Hudibras in hafle approach'd, 490 PARTI. CANTO II. 87 With Squire and weapons to attack 'em ; But firft thus from his horfe befpake 'em : What rage, O Citizens ! what fury Doth you to thefe dire aftions hurry ? What oeftrum, what phrenetic mood 495 Makes you thus laviih of your blood. While the proud vies your trophies boaft, And, unreveng'd, walks ghoft ? What towns, what garrifons might you. With hazard of this blood, fubdue, 500 Which now y' are bent to throw away In vain, untriumphable fray ? Shall faints in civil bloodflied wallow Of faints, and let the caufe lie fallow ? The caufe, for which we fought and fwore 505 So boldly, fliall we now give o'er ? 88 CANTO II. PARTI. Then, becaufe quarrels ftill are feen With oaths and fwearings to begin, The folemn league and covenant Will feem a mere God-dam-me rant, 510 And we that took it, and have fought. As lewd as di'unkards that fall out: For as we make war for the king Againft himfelf, the felf-fame thing Some will not ftick to fwear we do 515 For God, and for religion too ; For if bear-baiting we allow, What good can reformation do ? The blood and treafure that's laid out Is thrown away, and goes for nought. 520 Are thefe the fruits o' th' proteftation. The prototype of reformation. Which all the faints, and fome, fince martyrs. Wore in their hats like wedding-garters, PARTI. CANTO II. 89 When 'twas refolved by their houfe, 525 Six members' quarrel to efpoufe ? Did they for this draw down the rabble. With zeal, and noifes formidable ; And make all cries about the town Join throats to cry the bifliops down } 530 Who having round begirt the palace, As once a month they do the gallows, As members gave the fign about, Set up their throats with hideous fliout. When tinkers bawl'd aloud, to fettle 535 Church-difcipline, for patching kettle. No fow-gelder did blow his horn To geld a cat, but cry'd Reform. The oyfter-women lock'd their fifli up. And trudg'd away to cry No Bifliop : 540 The moufetrap-men laid fave-alls by. And 'gainft ev'l counfellors did cry. 90 CANTO II. PARTI. Botchers left old clothes in the lurch, And fell to turn and patch the church. Some cry'd the covenant, inftead 545 Of pudding-pies and ginger-bread : And fome for brooms, old boots, and flioes, Bawl'd out to purge the common's houfe : Inftead of kitchen-ftuff, fome cry A gofpel-preaching-miniftry : 550 And fome for old fuits, coats, or cloak. No furplices, nor fer vice-book. A ftrange harmonious inclination Of all degrees to reformation : And is this all ? is this the end ^^^ To which thefe carr'ings-on did tend ? Hath public faith, like a young heir. For this tak'n up all forts of ware, And run int' ev'ry tradefman's book, 'Till both turn'd bankrupts, and are broke ; PARTI. CANTO IL 91 Did faints for this bring in their plate, And crowd, as if they came too late ? For when they thought the caufe had need on't, Happy was he that could be rid on't. Did they coin pifs-pots, bowls, and flaggons, Int' officers of horfe and dragoons ; And into pikes and mufqueteers Stamp beakers, cups, and porringers ? A thimble, bodkin, and a fpoon, Did itart up living men, as foon 570 As in the furnace they were throvv n, Juil like the dragon's teeth b'ing fown. Then was the caufe all gold and plate, The brethren's off 'rings, confecrate, Like th' Hebrew calf, and down before it ^j^ The faints fell proflrate, to adore it. So fay the wicked — and will you Make that farcafmous fcandal true. 92 CANTO II. PARTI. By running after dogs and bears, Beafls more unclean than calves or fteers ? 580 Have pow'rful preachers ply'd their tongues. And laid themfelves out, and their lungs ; Us'd all means, both dire^l and fmifter, r th' power of gofpel-preaching minifter ? Have they invented tones, to win 585 The w^omen, and make them draw in The men, as Indians with a female Tame elephant enveigle the male ? Have they told prov'dence what it muft do. Whom to avoid, and whom to trufi: to ? 590 Difcover'd th' enemy's deiign. And which way beft to countermine ; Prefcrib'd what ways he hath to work. Or it will ne'er advance the kirk ; Told it the news o' th' laft exprefs, t^gi^ And after good or bad fuccefs PART I. CANTO II. 93 Made prayers, not fo like petitions, As overtures and proportions. Such as the army did prefent To their creator, the parliament; 600 In which they freely will confefs, They will not, cannot acquiefce, Unlefs the work be carry'd on In the fame way they have begun. By fetting church and common-weal 605 All on a flame, bright as their zeal. On which the faints were all-a-gog, And all this for a bear and dog. The parliament drew up petitions To'tfelf, and fent them, like commiflions, 610 To well-affedled perfons down. In ev'ry city and great town. With pow'r to levy horfe and men. Only to bring them back agen ; 94 CANTO 11. PARTI. For this did many, many a mile, 615 Ride manfully in rank and file. With papers in their hats, that fliow'd As if they to the pillory rode. Have all thefe courfes, thefe efforts, Been try'd by people of all forts, 620 Velis et remis, omnibus nervis. And all t' advance the caufe's fervice : And fliall all now be thrown away In petulant inteftine fray ? Shall we, that in the cov'nant fwore, 625 Each man of us to run before Another ftill in reformation. Give dogs and bears a difpenfation ? How will difTenting brethren relifli it ? What will malignants fay ? videlicet, 630 That each man fwore to do his beft. To damn and perjure all the reft; PART I. C A N T O II. 95 And bid the devil take the hinmoft, Which at this race is like to win mofl. They'll fay, our bus'nefs to reform 635 The church and fhate is but a worm; For to fubfcribe, unfight, unfeen, T' an unknown church's difcipline, What is it elfe, but, before hand, T' engage, and after underftand ? 640 For when we fwore to carry on The prefent reformation, According to the pureft mode Of churches, beft reform'd abroad. What did we elfe but make a vow 645 To do, we know not what, nor how ? For no three of us will agree Where, or what churches thefe fhould be. And is indeed the felf-fame cafe With theirs that fwore et caeteras ; 650 96 CANTO IT. part i. Or the French league, in which men vow'd To fight to the laft drop of blood. Thefe flanders will be thrown upon The caufe and work we carry on, If we permit men to run headlong e^g T' exorbitancies fit for Bedlam, Rather than gofp el- walking times. When flightefl fins are greateft crimes. But we the matter fo fliall handle. As to remove that odious fcandal. 660 In name of king and parliament, I charge ye all, no more foment This feud, but keep the peace between Your brethren and your countrymen ; And to thofe places fbraight repair 66^ Where your refpedlive dwellings are: But to that purpofe firft furrender The fiddler, as the prime offender, PART r. CANTO II. 97 Th' incendiary vile, that is chief Author, and engineer of mifchief ; 670 That makes divifion between friends, For prophane and malignant ends. He and that engine of vile noife, On which illegally he plays, Shall, didlum fa6lum, both be brought ej^ To condign pun'fliment as they ought. This mufh be done, and I would fain fee Mortal fo fturdy as to gain-fay : For then I'll take another courfe. And foon reduce you all by force. 680 This faid, he clapt his hand on 's fword. To fliew he meant to keep his word. But Talgol, who had long fupprefl: Enflamed wrath in glowing breaft, 98 CANTO II. PARTI, Which now began to rage and burn as 685 Implacably as flame in furnace, Thus anfwer'd him : Thou vermin wretched, As e'er in meazled pork was hatched ; Thou tail of worfliip, that doft grow On rump of juftice as of cow ; 690 How dar'ft thou with that fullen luggage O' thyfelf, old ir'n and other baggage. With which thy fteeds of bone and leather Has broke his wind in halting hither ; How durft th', I fay, adventure thus 695 T oppofe thy lumber againft us ? Could thine impertinence find out No work t' employ itfelf about. Where thou fecure from wooden blow, Thy bufy vanity might fhow ? 700 Was no difpute afoot between The caterwauling brethren ? PART I. CANTO 11. 99 No fubtle queftion rais'd among Thofe out-o' -their wits, and thofe i' th' wrong ? No prize between thofe combatants O' th' times, the land and water faints ; Where thou might'ft ftickle without hazard Of outrage, to thy hide and mazzard, And, not for want of bus'nefs, come To us to be thus troublefome, 710 To interrupt our better fort Of difputants, and fpoil our fport ? Was there no felony, no bawd, Cut-purfe, nor burglary abroad? No flolen pig, nor plunder 'd goofe, 715 To tie thee up from breaking loofe ? No ale unlicens'd, broken hedge, For which thou ftatute might'ft alledge. To keep thee bufy from foul evil, And fliame due to thee from the devil ? 720 loo CANTO II. PARTI. Did no committee fit, where he Might cut out journey-work for thee ; And fet th' a tafk with fubornation. To fhitch up fale and fequellration ; To cheat, with holinefs and zeal, 725 All parties, and the common-weal ? Much better had it been for thee, H' had kept thee where th' art us'd to be ; Or fent th' on bus'nefs any whither. So he had never brought thee hither. 730 But if th' haft brain enough in fkull To keep within his lodging whole, And not provoke the rage of ftones, And cudgels, to thy hide and bones ; Tremble, and vaniili while thou may'ft, 735 Which I'll not promife if thou ftay'fl» PART I. CANTO II. loi At this the Knight grew high in wroth, And lifting hands and eyes up both, Three times he fmote on ftomach flout. From whence, at length, thefe words broke out : Was I for this entitled Sir, And girt with trufty fword and fpur, For fame and honour to wage battle. Thus to be brav'd by foe to cattle ? Not all the pride that makes thee fwell 745 As big as thou doft blown-up veal; Nor all the tricks and flights to cheat, And fell thy carrion for good meat ; Not all thy magic to repair Decay'd old age, in tough lean ware, 750 Make natural death appear thy work. And ftop the gangrene in ftale pork ; Not all that force that makes thee proud, Becaufe by bullock ne'er withflood : 102 CANTO II. PARTI, Tho' arm'd with all thy cleavers, knives, And axes made to hew down lives, Shall fave, or help thee to evade The hand of juftice, or this blade, Which I, her fword-bearer, do carry, For civil deed and military. 760 Nor fliall thefe words of venom bafe, Which thou haft from their native place. Thy ftomach, pump'd to fling on me. Go unreveng'd, though I am free. Thou down the fame throat flialt devour 'em. Like tainted beef, and pay dear for 'em. Nor fhall it e'er be faid, that wight With gantlet blue, and bafes white. And round blunt truncheon by his fide. So great a man at arms defy'd, 770 With words far bitterer than wormwood. That would in Job or Grizel ftir mood. PART I. CANTO IL 103 Dogs with their tongues their wounds do heal ; But men with hands, as thou flialt feel. This faid, with hafty rage he fnatch'd 'j']^ His gun-fhot, that in holfters watch'd ; And bending cock, he levell'd full Againft th' outfide of Talgol's fkull ; Vowing that he fliould ne'er ftir further, Nor henceforth cow or bullock murther. 780 But Pallas came in fliape of ruft. And 'twixt the fpring and hammer thruft Her gorgon-fhield, which made the cock Stand ftiff, as if 'twere turn'd t' a flock. Meanwhile fierce Talgol gath'ring might, 785 With rugged truncheon charg'd the Knight; And he his rufty piftol held. To take the blow on, like a Ihield ; 104 CANTO II. =PART I. The gun recoU'd, as well it might. Not us'd to fuch a kind of fight. 790 And flirunk from its. great mafter's gripe, Knock'd down, and fliunn'd, with mortal fhripe : Then Hudibras, with furious hafte, Drew out his fword; yet not fo faft. But Talgol fofh, with hardy thwack, 795 Twice bruis'd his head, and twice his back ; But when his nut-brown fword was out, Courageoufly he laid about, Imprinting many a wound upon His mortal foe, the truncheon. 800 The trufty cudgel did oppofe Itfelf againfl dead-doing blows. To guard its leader from fell bane. And then reveng'd itfelf again : And though the fword, fome underftood, 805 In force, had much the odds of wood ; PARTI. CANTO II. lOr; 'Twas nothing fo, both fides were balanc t So equal, none knew which was valiant'ft. For wood with honour b' ing engag'd, Is fo implacably enrag'd, gio Though iron hew, and mangle fore, Wood wounds and bruifes honour more. And now both knights were out of breath, Tir d in the hot purfuit of death ; While all the reft, amaz'd, ftood ftill, 815 Expe6ling which ftiould take, or kill. This Hudibras obferv'd, and fretting Conqueft ftiould be fo long a getting, He drew up all his force into One body, and that into one blow. 820 But Talgol wifely avoided it, By cunning flight ; for had it hit, The upper part of him, the blow Had flit, as fure as that below. io6 CANTO II. PARTI. Meanwhile th' incomparable Colon, 825 To aid his friend, began to fall on ; Him Ralph encounter'd, and ftraight grew A difmal combat 'twixt them two : Th' one arm'd with metal, th' other with wood; This fit for bruife, and that for blood. With many a ftiif thwack, many a bang. Hard crab-tree, and old iron rang; While none that faw them could divine. To which fide conqueft would incline. Until Magnano, who did envy 835 That two fhould with fo many men vie. By fubtle ftratagem of brain Perform'd what force could ne'er attain, For he, by foul hap, having found Where thifbles grew on barren ground, 840 In hafte he drew his weapon out, And having cropp'd them from the root, PARTI. CANTO 11. 107 He clapp'd them under the horfe's tail, With prickles fliarper than a nail ; The angry beaft did ftraight refent 845 The wrong done to his fundament, Began to kick, and fling, and wince, As if h' had been befide his fenfe, Striving to difengage from fmart. And raging pain, th' afflidled part ; 850 Inftead of which he threw the pack Of Squire and baggage from his back; And blund'ring ftill with fmarting rump. He gave the champion's fteed a thump That ftagger'd him. The Knight did Hoop, And fat on further fide aflope. This Talgol viewing, who had now, By flight, efcap'd the fatal blow, He rally'd, and again fell to't; For catching foe by nearer foot, 860 io8' CANTO II. PARTI. He lifted with fuch might and ftrength. As would have hurl'd him thrice his length. And dafli'd his brains, if any, out : But Mars, that ftill proteds the ftout. In pudding-time came to his aid, 865 And under him the bear convey'd; The bear, upon whofe foft fur-gown The Knight, with all his weight, fell down, The friendly rug preferv'd the ground. And headlong Knight, from bruife or wound : Like feather-bed betwixt a wall. And heavy brunt of cannon-ball. As Sancho on a blanket fell. And had no hurt ; ours far'd as well In body, though his mighty fpirit, 875 B'ing heavy, did not fo well bear it. The bear was in a greater fright, Beat down, and worfted by the Knight : PARTI. CANTO II. 109 He roar'd, and rag'd, and flung about, To fhake off bondage from his fnout. 880 His wrath enflam'd boil'd o'er, and from His jaws of death, he threw the foam. Fury in ftranger poftures threw him. And more than ever herald drew him. He tore the earth, which he had fav'd From fquelch of Knight, and ftorm'd and rav'd ; And vex'd the more, becaufe the harms He felt were gainfl the law of arms ; For men he always took to be His friends, and dogs the enemy, 890 Who never fo much hurt had done him. As his own fide did falling on him. It griev'd him to the guts, that they. For whom h' had fought fo many a fray. And ferv'd with lofs of blood fo long, 895 Should offer fuch inhuman wrong ; no CANTO II. PARTI. Wrong of imfoldier-Iike condition ; For which he flung down his commiflion, And laid about him, till his nofe From thrall of ring and cord broke loofe. Soon as he felt himfelf enlarg'd. Through thickeft of his foes he charg'd, And made way through th' amazed crew, Some he o'er-ran, and fome o'er-threw. But took none ; for, by hafty flight, 905 He ftrove t' avoid the conquering Knight, From whom he fled with as much hafbe And dread, as he the rabble chac'd. In hafle he fled, and fo did they. Each and his fear a feveral way. 910 Crowdero only kept the field. Not fhirring from the place he held. PARTI. CANTO 11. Ill Though beaten down, and wounded fore r th' fiddle, and a leg that bore One fide of him, not that of bone, 915 But much its better, th' wooden one. He ipying Hudibras lie ftrow'd Upon the ground, like log of wood. With fright of fall, fuppofed wound. And lofs of urine, in a fwound : 920 In hafte he fnatch'd the wooden limb. That hurt in the ankle lay by him. And fitting it for fudden fight, Straight drew it up, t' attack the Knight. For getting up on ftump and huckle, 925 He with the foe began to buckle. Vowing to be reveng'd for breach Of crowd and fliin upon the wretch, Sole author of all detriment He and his fiddle underwent. 930 112 CANTO II. PART I. But Ralpho, who had now begun T' adventure refurre^lion From heavy fquelch, and had got up Upon his legs with fprained crup, Looking about beheld the bard 935 To charge the Knight intranc'd prepar'd, He fnatch'd his whiniard up, that fled When he was falling off his fteed, As rats do from a falling houfe. To hide itfelf from rage of blows ; 940 And wing'd with fpeed and fury, flew To refcue Knight from black and blue. Which ere he could atchieve, his fconce The leg encounter'd twice and once ; And now 'twas rais'd, to fmite agen, 945 When Ralpho thruft himfelf between ; He took the blow upon his arm, To {hield the Knight from further harm ; PARTI. CANTO II. 113 And joining wrath with force, beftow'd O' th' wooden member fuch a load, 950 That down it fell, and with it bore Crowdero, whom it prop'd before. To him^ the Squire right nimbly run, And fetting his bold foot upon His trunk, thus fpoke : What defp'rate frenzy Made thee, thou whelp of fm, to fancy Thyfelf, and all that coward rabble, T' encounter us in battle able } How durft th', I fay, oppofe thy curfliip 'Gainft arms, authority, and worfliip ^ 960 And Hudibras, or me provoke. Though all thy limbs were heart of oak, And th' other half of thee as good To bear out blows as that of wood ? Could not the whipping-poft prevail 965 With all its rhet'ric, nor the jail. 114 CANTO II. PARTI. To keep from flaying fcourge thy fl^in. And ankle free from iron gin ? Which now thou llialt — but firft our care Mufl: fee how Hudibras doth fare. 970 This faid, he gently rais'd the Knight, And fet him on his bum upright : To rouze him from lethargic dump, He tweak'd his nofe, with gentle thump Knock'd on his breaft, as if 't had been 975 To raife the fpirits lodg'd within. They, wakened with the noife, did fly From inward room, to window eye. And gently op'ning lid, the cafement, Look'd out, but yet with fome amazement. This gladded Ralpho much to fee, Who thus befpoke the Knight : quoth he. Tweaking his nofe. You are, great Sir, A felf-denying conqueror ; I I PARTI. CANTO 11. 115 As high, vi(ftonous, and great, 985 As e'er fought for the Churches yet, If you will give yourfelf but leave To make out what y' already have ; That's vi6lory. The foe, for dread Of your nine-worthinefs, is fled, 990 All, fave Crowdero, for whofe fake You did th' efpous'd caufe undertake ; And he lies pris'ner at your feet. To be difpos'd as you think meet, Either for life, or death, or fale, 995 The gallows, or perpetual jail ; For one wink of your pow'rful eye Muft fentence him to live or die. His fiddle is your proper purchafe. Won in the fervice of the Churches ; 1000 And by your doom mufh be allow' d To be, or be no more, a Crowd : ii6 CANTO II. PARTI. For tho' fuccefs did not confer Jufh title on the conqueror ; Tho' difpenfations were not ftrong 1005 Conckiiions, whether right or wrong ; Altho' outgoings did confirm, And owning were but a mere term ; Yet as the wicked have no right To th' creature, tho' ufurp'd by might, 1010 The property is in the faint. From whom th' injurioufly detain 't ; Of him thev hold their luxuries, Their dogs, their horfes, whores, and dice, Their riots, revels, mafks, delights, 1015 Pimps, buffoons, fiddlers, parafites ; All which the faints have title to. And ought t' enjoy if th' had their due. What we take from them is no more Than what was ours by right before ; 1020 PARTI. CANTO II. 117 For we are their true landlords flill, And they our tenants but at will. At this the Knight began to roufe, And by degrees grow valorous : He ftar'd about, and feeing none 1025 Of all his foes remain but one, He fnatch'd his weapon that lay near him. And from the ground began to rear him, Vowing to make Crowdero pay For all the reft that ran away. 1030 But Ralpho now, in colder blood. His fury mildly thus withftood : Great Sir, quoth he, your mighty fpirit Is rais'd too high ; this Have does merit To be the hangman's bus'nefs, fooner 1035 Than from your hand to have the honour ii8 CANTO II. PARTI. Of his deftmdion ; I that am So much below m deed and name. Did fcorn to hurt his forfeit carcafe, Or ill entreat his fiddle or cafe : 1040 Will you, great Sir, that glory blot In cold blood, which you gain'd in hot ? Will you employ your conqu'ring fword To break a fiddle, and your word ? For tho' I fought, and overcame, 1045 And quarter gave, 'twas in your name : For great commanders always own What's profp'rous by the foldier done. To fave, where you have pow'r to kill, Argues your pow'r above your will ; 1050 And that your will and pow'r have lefs Than both might have of felfiflmefs. This pow'r which now alive, with dread He trembles at, if he were dead. PARTI. CANTO II. 119 Wou'd no more keep the flave in awe, 1055 Than if you were a knight of flraw ; For death would then be his conqueror. Not you, and free him from that terror. If danger from his life accrue, Or honour from his death to you, 1060 'Twere policy, and honour too. To do as you refolv'd to do : But, Sir, 't would wrong your valour much. To fay it needs, or fears a crutch. Great conqu'rors greater glory gain 1065 By foes in triumph led, than flain : The laurels that adorn their brows Are pull'd from living, not dead boughs, And living foes : the greatefl fame Of cripple flain can be but lame : 1070 One half of him 's already flain. The other is not worth your pain ; 120 CANTO II. PART I. Th' honour can but on one fide light, As worfliip did, when y' were dubb'd Knight ; Wherefore I think it better far 1075 To keep him prifoner of war ; And let him faft in bonds abide. At court of juftice to be try'd : Where, if h' appear fo bold or crafty. There may be danger in his fafety ; 1080 If any member there diflike His face, or to his beard have pike ; Or if his death will fave, or yield Revenge or fright, it is reveal'd ; Tho' he has quarter, ne'erthelefs 1085 Y' have pow'r to hang him when you pleafe ; This has been often done by fome Of our great conqu'rors, you know w^hom j And has by moft of us been held Wife juftice, and to fome reveal'd : 1090 PARTI. CANTO II. 121 For words and promifes, that yoke The conqueror, are quickly broke ; Like Samfon's cuffs, tho' by his own Direction and advice put on For if we fliould fight for the caufe 1095 By rules of military laws. And only do what they call juft. The caufe would quickly fall to duft. This we among ourfelves may fpeak ; But to the wicked or the weak 1100 We muft be cautious to declare Perfe6tion-truths, fuch as thefe are. This faid, the high outrageous mettle Of Knight began to cool and fettle. He lik'd the Squire's advice, and foon tio5 Refolv'd to fee the bus'nefs done ; 122 CANTO II. PART I. And therefore charged him firft to bind Crowdero's hands on rump behind. And to its former place, and ufe, The wooden member to reduce ; mo But force it take an oath before, Ne'er to bear arms againfl him more. Ralpho difpatch'd with fpeedy hafte, And having ty'd Crowdero faft, He gave Sir Knight the end of cord, 1115 To lead the captive of his fword In triumph, while the fteeds he caught. And them to further fervice brought. The Squire, in ftate, rode on before. And on his nut-brown whinyard bore 1120 The trophy-fiddle and the cafe, Plac d on his flioulder like a mace. PARTI. CANTO II. 123 The Knight himfelf did after ride, Leading Crowdero by his fide ; And tow'd him, if he lagg'd behind, 1125 Like boat, againft the tide and wind. Thus grave and folemn they march on. Until quite thro' the town they 'ad gone : At further end of which there ftands An ancient caftle, that commands 1 1 30 Th' adjacent parts ; in all the fabrick You fliall not fee one ftone nor a brick, But all of wood, by pow'rful fpell Of magic made impregnable : There's neither iron bar nor gate, 1135 Portcullis, chain, nor bolt, nor grate ; And yet men durance there abide", In dungeon fcarce three inches wide ; With roof fo low, that under it They never ftand, but lie or fit ; 1140 124 CANTO 11. PARTI. And yet fo foul, that whofo is in. Is to the middle leg in prifon ; In circle magical confin'd. With walls of fubtle air and wind, Which none are able to break thorough, 1145 Until they 're freed by head of borough. Thither arriv'd, the advent'rous Knight And bold Squire from their fteeds alight At th' outward wall, near which there ftands A Baftile, built t' imprifon hands; 1150 By ftrange enchantment made to fetter The lefler parts, and free the greater : For tho' the body may creep through. The hands in grate are faft enough : And when a circle 'bout the wrift 1155 Is made by beadle exorcift, The body feels the fpur and fwitch, As if 't were ridden poft by witch, PART I. CANTO II. 125 At twenty miles an hour pace, And yet ne'er ftirs out of the place. 1160 On top of this there is a fpire, On which Sir Knight firft bids the Squire The fiddle, and its fpoils, the cafe. In manner of a ti'ophy, place. That done, they ope the trap-door gate, 1165 And let Crowdero down thereat. Crowdero making doleful face. Like hermit poor in penfive place. To dungeon they the wretch commit. And the furvivor of his feet ; 1 1 70 But th' other, that had broke the peace. And head of knighthood, they releafe, Tho' a delinquent falfe and forged. Yet b' ing a ftranger he's enlarged ; 126 CANTO IL PART I. While his comrade, that did no hurt, Is clapp'd up faft in prifon for 't : So juftice, while Ihe winks at crimes. Stumbles on innocence fometimes. 1175 I. R^ jcu^ I'etf^ /. Ctz^Uo e. Luie //f&V . PART I. THIRD CANTO. %fit 9lrgument* The fcatter d rout returti and rally. Surround the place ; the Knight does f ally ^ And is made prisner : then they Jei%e Th^ encha7ited fort byjlorm, releaje Crowdero, and put the Squire in 's place ; I Jljould have Jirjl Jaid Hudibras. fiirfl. (iintv3.Zuir SU3 . HUDIBRAS. CANTO III. Ay me! what perils do environ The man that meddles with cold iron ! What plaguy mifchiefs and mifliaps Do dog him flill with after claps ! For tho' Dame Fortune feem to fmile. And leer upon him for a while. 13 o CANTO III. PARTI. She'll after fliew him, in the nick Of all his glories, a dog-trick. This any man may fmg or fay r th' ditty call'd. What if a day ? lo For Hudibras, who thought he 'ad won The field as certain as a gun. And having routed the whole troop, With vi6lory was cock-a-hoop ; Thinking he 'ad done enough to purchafe 15 Thankfgiving-day among the churches. Wherein his mettle and brave worth Might be explain'd by holder-forth. And regifter'd by fame eternal. In deathlefs pages of diurnal ; 20 Found in few minutes, to his coft. He did but count without his hod ; And that a turnftile is more certain Than, in events of war. Dame Fortune. PART I. CANTO III. 31 For now the late faint-hearted rout, 25 O'erthrown and fcatter'd round about, Chas'd by the horror of their fear, From bloody fray of Knight and Bear, All but the dogs, who, in purfuit Of the Knight's victory, flood to 't, 30 And mofl ignobly fought to get The honour of his blood and fweat. Seeing the coaft was free and clear O' the conquer'd and the conqueror. Took heart again, and fac'd about, 35 As if they meant to ftand it out : For now the half defeated bear, Attack'd by th' enemy i' th' rear. Finding their number grew too great For him to make a fafe retreat, 40 Like a bold chieftain fac'd about ; But wifely doubting to hold out. 132 CANTO III. PART I. Gave way to fortune, and with hafte Fac'd the proud foe, and fled, and fac'd. Retiring flill, until he found 45 He 'ad got the advantage of the ground ; And then as valiantly made head To check the foe, and forthwith fled. Leaving no art untry'd, nor trick Of warrior ftout and politick, 50 Until, in fpite of hot purfuit. He gain'd a pafs, to hold difpute On better terms, and flop the courfe Of the proud foe. With all his force He bravely charg'd, and for a while ^^ Forc'd their whole body to recoil ; But ftill their numbers fo increas'd. He found himfelf at length opprefs'd. And all evafions fo uncertain. To fave himfelf for better fortune, 60 PARTI. CANTO III. 133 That he refolv d, rather than yield, To die with honour in the field. And fell his hide and carcafs at A price as high and defperate As e'er he could. This refolution 6s He forthwith put in execution. And bravely threw himfelf among Th' enemy i' th' greatefl throng ; But what cou'd iingle valour do 70 Againfl: fo numerous a foe ? Yet much he did, indeed too much To be believ'd, where th' odds were fuch ; But one againfh a multitude. Is more than mortal can make good : For while one party he oppos'd, js His rear was fuddenly enclos'd. And no room left him for retreat, Or iight againfl a foe fo great. 134 CANTO III. PART I. For now the maftives, charging home, To blows and handy -gripes were come ; 80 While manfully himfelf he bore. And, fetting his right foot before, He rais'd himfelf to fliew how tall His perfon was above them all. This equal fliame and envy ftirr'd 85 In th' enemy, that one fliould beard So many warriors, and fo flout, As he had done, and ftav'd it out, Difdaining to lay down his arms. And yield on honourable terms. 90 Enraged thus, fome in the rear Attack'd him, and fome ev'ry where. Till down he fell ; yet falling fought, And, being down, ftill laid about ; As Widdrington, in doleful dumps, 95 Is faid to fight upon his ftumps. PART I. CANTO III. 135 But all, alas ! had been In vain. And he inevitably (lain. If Trulla and Cerdon, in the nick, To refcue him had not been quick : 100 For Trulla, who was light of foot, As fliafts which long-field Parthians flioot. But not fo light as to be borne Upon the ears of ftanding corn. Or trip it o'er the water quicker 105 Than witches, when their ftaves they liquor, As fome report, was got among The foremoft of the martial throng ; Where pitying the vanquifli'd bear. She call'd to Cerdon, who ftood near, no Viewing the bloody fight ; to whom. Shall we, quoth flie, ftand ftill hum-drum, And fee fhout bruin, all alone. By numbers bafely overthrown ? 136 CANTO III. PART I. Such feats already he 'as atchiev'd, 115 In ftory not to be believ'd, And t' would to us be fliame enough. Not to attempt to fetch him off. I would, quoth he, venture a limb To fecond thee, and refcue him ; 120 But then we mufl about it ftraight. Or elfe our aid will come too late : Quarter he fcorns, he is fo ftout. And therefore cannot long hold out. This faid, they wav'd their weapons round About their heads, to clear the ground; And joining forces, laid about So fiercely, that th' amazed rout Turn'd tail again, and ftraight begun. As if the devil drove, to run. 130 Mean-while th' approach'd th' place where bruin Was now engag'd to mortal ruin : PARTI. CANTO III. 37 The conqu'ring foe they foon afTail'd; Firft Trulla flav'd, and Cerdon tail'd, Until their maftives loos'd their hold: 135 And yet, alas ! do what they could, The worfted bear came off with ftore Of bloody wounds, but all before : For as Achilles, dipt in pond, Was anabaptiz'd free from wound, 140 Made proof againft dead-doing fteel All over, but the pagan heel ; So did our champion's arms defend All of him but the other end. His head and ears, which in the martial 145 Encounter loft a leathern parcel ; For as an Auftrian archduke once Had one ear, which in ducatoons Is half the coin, in battle par'd Clofe to his head, fo bruin far'd; 150 138 CANTO III. PARTI. But tugg d and pull'd on th' other fide, Like fcriv'ner newly crucify 'd : Or like the late-corre6led leathern Ears of the circumcifed brethren. But gentle Trulla into th' ring 155 He wore in 's nofe convey'd a ftring. With which fhe march'd before, and led The warrior to a grafTy bed. As authors write, in a cool fliade, Which eglantine and rofes made ; 160 Clofe by a foftly murm'ring ftream. Where lovers us'd to loll and dream : There leaving him to his repofe, Secured from puriuit of foes, And wanting nothing but a fong, 165 And a well-tun'd theorbo hung Upon a bough, to eafe the pain His tugg'd ears fuffer'd, with a ftrain. PARTI. CANTO III. 39 They both drew up, to march in queft Of his great leader, and the reft. 1 70 For Orfin, who was more renown'd For ftout maintaining of his ground In ftanding fights, than for purfuit, As being not fo quick of foot, Was not long able to keep pace 175 With others that purfu'd the chafe, But found himfelf left far behind, Both out of heart and out of wind ; Griev'd to behold his bear purfu'd So bafely by a multitude, 180 And like to fall, not by the prowefs. But numbers, of his coward foes. He rag'd, and kept as heavy a coil as Stout Hercules for lofs of Hylas ; Forcing the vallies to repeat 185 The accents of his fad regret : 140 CANTO III. PART I. He beat his breaft, and tore his hair, For lofs of his dear crony bear ; That Echo, from the hollow ground, His doleful wailings did refound 190 More wiftfully, by many times, Than in fmall poets' fplay-foot rhymes, That make her, in their ruthful ftories. To anfwer to int'rogatories, And moft unconfcionably depofe 195 To things of which flie nothing knows ; And when flie has faid all fhe can fay, 'Tis wrefted to the lover's fancy. Quoth he, O whither, wicked Bruin, Art thou fled to my — Echo, ruin. 200 I thought th' hadft fcorn'd to budge a ftep. For fear. Quoth Echo, Marry guep. Am not I here to take thy part } Then what has quail'd thy ftubborn heart } PART I. CANTO III. 141 Have thefe bones rattled, and this head 205 So often in thy quarrel bled ? Nor did I ever winch or grudge it. For thy dear fake. Quoth ilie. Mum budget. Think'ft thou 'twill not be laid i' th' difli Thou turn' dft thy back ? Quoth Echo, PiJIi. 210 To run from thofe th' hadft overcome Thus cowardly } Quoth Echo, Mum. But what a-vengeance makes thee fly From me too, as thine enemy ? Or, if thou hafh no thought of me, 215 Nor what I have endur'd for thee. Yet fliame and honour might prevail To keep thee thus from turning tail : For who would grutch to fpend his blood in His honour's caufe ? Quoth fhe, a Puddin, 220 This faid, his grief to anger turn'd. Which in his manly ftomach burn'd; 142 CANTO III. PART I. Thirft of revenge, and wrath, in place Of forrow, now began to blaze. He vow'd the authors of his woe 225 Should equal vengeance undergo ; And with their bones and flefli pay dear For what he fuffer'd and his bear. This b'ing refolv'd, with equal fpeed And rage, he hafted to proceed 230 To a6lion ftraight, and giving o'er To fearch for bruin any more. He went in queft of Hudibras, To find him out, where'er he was : And if he were above ground, vow'd 235 He'd ferret him, lurk where he wou'd. But fcarce had he a furlong on This refolute adventure gone. When he encounter'd with that crew Whom Hudibras did late fubdue. 240 PART I. CANTO III. 143 Honour, revenge, contempt, and fliame, Did equally their breads inflame. 'Mong thefe the fierce Magnano was, And Talgol, foe to Hudibras ; Cerdon and Colon, warriors flout, 245 And refolute, as ever fought ; Whom furious Orfm thus befpoke : Shall we, quoth he, thus bafely brook The vile affront that paltry afs. And feeble fcoundrel, Hudibras, 250 With that more paltry ragamuffin, Ralpho, with vapouring and huffing. Have put upon us, like tame cattle. As if th' had routed us in battle ? For my part, it fhall ne'er be faid 255 I for the wafliing gave my head : Nor did I turn my back for fear Of them, but loiing of my bear, 144 CANTO III. PARTI. Which now I'm like to undergo ; For whether thefe fell wounds, or no, 260 He has receiv'd in fight, are mortal. Is more than all my fkill can foretel ; Nor do I know what is become Of him, more than the Pope of Rome. But if I can but find them out 265 That caus'd it, as I fiiall no doubt. Where'er th' in hugger-mugger lurk, I'll make them rue their handiwork. And wifli that they had rather dar'd To pull the devil by the beard. 270 Quoth Cerdon, noble Orfin, th' haft Great reafon to do as thou fay 'ft. And fo has ev'ry body here. As well as thou haft, or thy bear : Others may do as they fee good ; 275 But if this twig be made of wood PARTI. CANTO III. 145 That will hold tack, I'll make the fur Fly 'bout the ears of that old cur, And th' other mungrel vermine, Ralph, That brav'd us all in his behalf. 280 Thy bear is fafe, and out of peril, Tho' lugg'd indeed, and wounded very ill ; Myfelf and Trulla made a fliift To help him out at a dead lift ; And having brought him bravely off, 285 Have left him where he's fafe enough : There let him reft ; for if we flay. The flaves may hap to get away. This faid, they all engag'd to join Their forces in the fame defign, 290 And forthwith put themfelves, in fearch Of Hudibras, upon their march : Where leave we them awhile, to tell What the vidorious Knight befell ; 146 CANTO III. PARTI. For fuch, Crowdero being faft 295 In dungeon fliut, we left him laft. Triumphant laurels feem'd to grow No where fo green as on his brow: Laden with which, as well as tir'd With conqu'ring toil, he now retir'd 300 Unto a neighb'ring caftle by. To reft his body, and apply Fit med'cines to each glorious bruife He got in fight, reds, blacks, and blues ; To mollify th' uneafy pang 305 Of ev'ry honourable bang. Which b'ing by ikilful midwife dreft. He laid him down to take his reft. But all in vain : he 'ad got a hurt O' th' infide, of a deadlier fort, 310 By Cupid made, who took his ftand Upon a widow's jointure-land. PARTI. CANTO III. 47 For he, in all his am'rous battles, No 'dvantage finds like goods and chattels. Drew home his bow, and aiming right, 315 Let fly an arrow at the Knight ; The fliaft againfh a rib did glance, And gall him in the purtenance : But time had fomewhat Twag'd his pain, After he had fomid his fuit in vain: 320 For that proud dame, for whom his foul Was burnt in 's belly like a coal, — That belly that fo oft' did ake. And fuffer griping for her fake. Till purging comfits, and ants' eggs 325 Had almofh brought him off his legs, — Us'd him fo like a bafe rafcallion. That old Pyg — what d' y' call him — malion. That cut his miftrefs out of flone. Had not fo hard a hearted one. 330 148 CANTO III. PART I. She had a thoufand jadifli tricks, Worfe than a mule that flings and kicks ; 'Mong which one crofs-grain'd freak {he had. As infolent as ftrange and mad ; She could love none but only fuch 335 As fcorn'd and hated her as much. 'Twas a ftrange riddle of a lady ; Not love, if any lov'd her : ha-day ! So cowards never ufe their might, But againft fuch as will not fight. 340 So fome difeafes have been found Only to feize upon the found. He that gets her by heart, muft fay her The back-way, like a witch's prayer. , Mean while the Knight had no fmall tafk 345 To compafs what he durft not afl^ : He loves, but dares not make the motion ; Her ignorance is his devotion : PARTI. CANTO III. 49 Like caitiff vile, that for mifdeed Rides with his face to rump of fteed ; 350 Or rowing fcull, he 's fain to love. Look one way, and another move ; Or like a tumbler that does play His game, and looks another way, Until he feize upon the coney ; 355 Jufl: fo does he by matrimony. But all in vain : her fubtle fnout Did quickly wind his meaning out ; Which file return'd with too much fcorn, To be by man of honour born ; 360 Yet much he bore, until the diftrefs He fuffer'd from his fpightful miftrefs Did ftir his fhomach, and the pain He had endur'd from her difdain Turn'd to regret fo refolute, 365 That he refolv'd to wave his fuit. 50 CANTO III. PART I. And either to renounce her quite, Or for a while play leaft in fight. This refolution b'ing put on. He kept fome months, and more had done, 370 But being brought fo nigh by fate. The vi6l'ry he atchiev'd fo late Did fet his thoughts agog, and ope A door to difcontinu'd hope. That feem'd to promife he might win 375 His dame too, now his hand w^as in ; And that his valour, and the honour He 'ad newly gain'd, might work upon her : Thefe reafons made his mouth to water. With am'rous longings, to be at her. 380 Thought he, unto himfelf, who knows But this brave conqueft o'er my foes May reach her heart, and make that ftoop, As I but now have forc'd the troop ^ PARTI. CANTO III. 151 If nothing can oppugne love, 385 And virtue invious ways can prove, What may not he confide to do That brings both love and virtue too ? But thou bring'ft valour too, and wit. Two things that feldom fail to hit. 390 Valour's a moufe-trap, wit a gin. Which women oft' are taken in : Then, Hudibras, why fliould'ft thou fear To be, that art a conqueror P Fortune the audacious doth juvare, 395 But lets the timidous mifcarry : Then, while the honour thou haft got Is fpick and fpan new, piping hot, Strike her up bravely thou hadft beft. And truft thy fortune with the reft. 400 Such thoughts as thefe the Knight did keep More than his bangs, or fleas, from fleep ; 152 CANTO III. PARTI. And as an owl, that in a barn Sees a moufe creeping in the corn. Sits ftill, and {huts his round bkie eyes, 405 As if he flept, until he fpies The little beaft within his reach, Then ftarts, and feizes on the wretch ; So from his couch the Knight did ftart. To feize upon the widow's heart; 410 Crying, with hafby tone and hoarfe, Ralpho, difpatch, to horfe, to horfe ! And 'twas but time ; for now the rout, We left engag'd to feek him out. By fpeedy marches were advanc'd 415 Up to the fort where he enfconc'd. And had the avenues all pofTefl, About the place, from eaft to weft. That done, awhile they made a halt, To view the ground, and where t' aiTault : 420 PARTI. CANTO III. 153 Then call'd a council, which was beft. By fiege, or onflaught, to inveft The enemy ; and 't was agreed By fhorm and onflaught to proceed. This b'ing refolv'd, in comely fort 425 They now drew up t' attack the fort ; When Hudibras, about to enter Upon another-gate's adventure, To Ralpho call'd aloud to arm, Not dreaming of approaching fhorm. 430 Whether dame fortune, or the care Of angel bad, or tutelar. Did arm, or thruft him on a danger, To which he was an utter flranger, That forefight might, or might not, blot 435 The glory he had newly got ; Or to his fliame it might be fed. They took him napping in his bed : 154 CANTO III. PART u To them we leave it to expound. That deal in fciences profound. 440 His courfer fcarce he had beflrid. And Ralpho that on which he rid. When fetting ope the poftern gate. To take the field and fally at. The foe appear'd, drawn up and drill'd, 445 Ready to charge them in the field. This fomewhat flartled the bold knight, Surpris'd with th' unexpe6led fight : The bruifes of his bones and fiefli He thought began to fmart afrefh ; 450 Till recollecting wonted courage, His fear was foon converted to rage. And thus he fpoke : The coward foe. Whom we but now gave quarter to. Look, yonder's rally'd, and appears 455 As if they had outrun their fears ; PARTI. CANTO TIL 155 The glory we did lately get. The fates command us to repeat ; And to their wills we muft fuccumb, Quocunque trahunt, 'tis our doom. 460 This is the fame numeric crew Which we fo lately did fubdue ; The felf-fame individuals that Did run, as mice do from a cat, When we courageoufly did wield 465 Our martial weapons in the field, To tug for vicftory : and when We fliall our fliining blades agen Brandifli in terror o'er our heads. They'll ftraight refume their wonted dreads. 470 Fear is an ague, that forfakes And haunts, by fits, thofe whom it takes ; And they'll opine they feel the pain And blows, they felt to-day, again. 156 CANTO III. PARTI. Then let us boldly charge them home, 475 And make no doubt to overcome. This faid, his courage to inflame. He call'd upon his miflrefs' name, His pifbol next he cock'd anew, And out his nut-brown whinyard drew ; 480 And placing Ralpho in the front, Referv'd himfelf to bear the brunt, As expert warriors ufe ; then ply'd, With iron heel, his courfer's fide. Conveying fympathetic fpeed 485 From heel of Knight to heel of fteed. Meanwhile the foe, with equal rage And fpeed, advancing to engage. Both parties now were drawn fo clofe, Almoft to come to handy-blows : 490 PART I. CANTO III. 157 When Orfm firft let fly a ftone At Ralpho ; not fo huge a one As that which Diomed did maul ^neas on the bum withal ; Yet big enough, if rightly huiTd, 495 T' have fent him to another world. Whether above ground, or below, Which faints, twice dipt, are defhin'd to. The danger ftartled the bold Squire, And made him fome few fteps retire ; 500 But Hudibras advanc'd to 's aid. And rous'd his fpirits half difmay'd : He wifely doubting left the fliot O' th' enemy, now growing hot. Might at a diftance gall, prefs'd clofe, 505 To come, pell-mell, to handy-blows, And that he might their aim decline, Advanc'd ftill in an oblique line ; 15 8 CANTO III. PARTI. But prudently forbore to fire, Till breaft to breaft he had got nigher; 510 As expert warriors ufe to do, When hand to hand they charge their foe. This order the advent'rous Knight, Mofh foldier-like, obferv'd in fight. When Fortune, as flie's wont, turn'd fickle, 515 And for the foe began to flickle. The more fliame for her Goodylliip, To give fo near a friend the flip. For Colon, choofing out a ftone, Levell'd fo right, it thump'd upon 520 His manly paunch, with fuch a force. As almofi: beat him off his horfe. He loos'd his whinyard, and the rein. But laying fail hold on the mane, Preferv'd his feat : and, as a goofe 525 In death contradls his talons clofe, PART I, CANTO III. 159 So did the Knight, and with one claw The tricker of his piftol draw. The gun went off; and as it was Still fatal to ftout Hudibras, 530 In all its feats of arms, when leaft He dreamt of it, to profper beft, So now he far'd : the fliot let fly. At random, 'mong the enemy, Pierc'd Talgol's gabardine, and grazing 535 Upon his flioulder, in the paffing Lodg'd in Magnano's brafs habergeon. Who ftraight, A flirgeon cry'd — a furgeon ! He tumbled down, and, as he fell. Did Murder ! Murder ! Murder ! yell. 540 This ftartled their whole body fo. That if the Knight had not let go His arms, but been in warlike plight, H' had won, the fecond time, the fight ; i6o CANTO IIL PART I. As, if the Squire had but fall'ii on, 545 He had inevitably done : But he, diverted with the care Of Hudibras his wound, forbare To prefs th' advantage of his fortune, While danger did the reft difliearten. 550 For he with Cerdon b'ing engag'd In clofe encounter, they both wag'd The fight fo well, 't was hard to fay Which fide was like to get the day. And now the bufy work of death 555 Had tir d them fo, they 'greed to breathe, Preparing to renew the fight. When th' hard difafler of the knight. And th' other party, did divert And force their fullen rage to part. 560 Ralpho prefs'd up to Hudibras, And Cerdon where Magnano was. PARTI. CANTO III. i6t Each ftriving to confirm his party With ftout encouragements and hearty. Quoth Ralpho, Courage, valiant Sir, 565 And let revenge and honour ftir Your fpirits up ; once more fall on. The fliatter'd foe begins to run : For if but half fo well you knew To ufe your vidl'ry as fubdue, 570 They durft not, after fuch a blow As you have giv'n them, face us now ; But, from fo formidable a fbldier. Had fled like crows when they fmell powder. Thrice have they feen your fword aloft ^j^ Wav'd o'er their heads, and fled as oft: But if you let them recolle6l Their fpirits, now difmay'd and check'd. You'll have a harder game to play. Than yet y' have had, to get the day. 580 i62 CANTO III. PART I. Thus fpoke the ftout Squire ; but was heard By Hudibras with fmall regard. His thoughts were fuller of the bang He lately took, than Ralph's harangue ; To which he anfwer'd. Cruel fate 585 Tells me thy counfel comes too late. The clotted blood within my hofe. That from my wounded body flows, With mortal crifis doth portend My days to appropinque an end. 590 I am for aftion now unfit. Either of fortitude or wit ; Fortune, my foe, begins to frown, Refolv d to pull my ftomach down. I am not apt, upon a wound, 595 Or trivial bafting, to defpond : Yet I'd be loath my days to curtail ; For if I thought my wounds not mortal. PART I. CANTO III. 163 Or that we 'd time enough as yet To make an hon'rable retreat, 600 'Twere the befl: courfe ; but if they find We fly, and leave our arms behind For them to feize on, the diflionour, And danger too, is fuch, I'll fooner Stand to it boldly, and take quarter, 605 To let them fee I am no ftarter. In all the trade of war no feat Is nobler than a brave retreat : For thofe that run away, and fly. Take place at leafh o' th' enemy. 610 This faid, the Squire, with a6i:ive fpeed, Difmounted from his bony fteed To feize the arms, which by mifchance Fell from the bold Knight in a trance. Thefe being found out, and refhor'd 615 To Hudibras, their natural lord. i64 CANTO III. PART I. The a6live Squire, with might and main, Prepar'd in hafte to mount again. Thrice he aflay'd to mount aloft ; But by his weighty bum, as oft 620 He was pull'd back; 'till having found Th' advantage of the rifmg ground. Thither he led his warlike fteed. And having plac'd him right, with fpeed Prepar'd again to fcale the bead, 625 When Orfin, who had newly dreft The bloody fear upon the flioulder Of Talgol, with Promethean powder. And now was fearching for the fliot That laid Magnano on the fpot, 63a Beheld the fturdy Squire aforefaid Preparing to climb up his horfe-fide ; He left his cure, and laying hold Upon his arms, with courage bold PART I. CANTO III. 165 Cry'd out, 'Tis now no time to dally, 635 The enemy begin to rally : Let us that are unhurt and whole Fall on, and happy man be 's dole. This faid, like to a thunderbolt. He flew with fury to th' aflault, 640 Striving the enemy to attack Before he reach'd his horfe's back. Ralpho was mounted now, and gotten O'erthwart his beaft with adlive vaulting. Wriggling his body to recover 645 His feat, and caft his right leg over ; When Orfm, rufhing in, beftow'd On horfe and man fo heavy a load. The beaft was ftartled, and begun To kick and fling like mad, and run, 650 Bearing the tough Squire like a fack. Or ftout King Richard, on his back ; i66 CANTO III. PART I. 'Till ftumbling, he threw him down, Sore bruis'd, and caft into a fwoon. Meanwhile the Knight began to roufe 655 The iparkles of his wonted prowefs ; He thruft his hand into his hofe. And found, both by his eyes and nofe, 'Twas only choler, and not blood, That from his wounded body flow'd. 660 This, with the hazard of the Squire, Enflam'd him with deipightful ire ; Courageoufly he fac'd about. And drew his other piftol out, And now had half-way bent the cock, 665 When Cerdon gave fo fierce a fliock, With fturdy truncheon, thwart his arm, That down it fell, and did no harm : Then iloutly preffing on with fpeed, AfTay'd to pull him off his fteed. 670 PART I. CANTO IIL 167 The Knight his fword had only left, With which he Cerdon's head had cleft, Or at the leaft cropt o£F a limb. But Orfin came and refcu'd him. He with his lance attack'd the Knight 6j^ Upon his quarters oppofite. But as a bark, that in foul weather, Tofs'd by two adverfe winds together. Is bruis'd and beaten to and fro. And knows not which to turn him to : 680 "So far'd the Knight between two foes. And knew not which of them f oppofe ; 'Till Orfm charging with his lance At Hudibras, by fpightful chance Hit Cerdon fuch a bang, as ftunn'd 685 And laid him flat upon the ground. At this the Knight began to cheer up. And raifmg up himfelf on ftirrup. i68 CANTO III. PARTI. Cry'd out, vi6loria! lie thou there. And I fliall ftraight difpatch another, 690 To bear thee company in death : But firft ril halt awhile, and breathe. As well he might: for Oriin griev'd At th' wound that Cerdon had receiv'd, Ran to relieve him with his lore, 695 And cure the hurt he made before. Meanwhile the Knight had wheel'd about, To breathe himfelf, and next find out Th' advantage of the ground, where beft He might the ruffled foe infeft. 700 This b'ing refolv'd, he fpurr'd his fteed, To run at Orfm with full fpeed, While he was bufy in the care Of Cerdon's wound, and unaware : But he was quick, and had already 705 Unto the part apply'd remedy ; PARTI. CANTO III. 169 And feeing th' enemy prepar'd, Drew up, and ftood upon his guard. Then, like a warrior, right expert And fkilful in the martial art, 710 The fubtle Knight ftraight made a halt. And judg'd it beft to flay th' aflault. Until he had reliev'd the Squire, And then, in order, to retire ; Or, as occafion fliould invite, 715 With forces join'd renew the fight. Ralpho, by this time difentranc'd, Upon his bum himfelf advanc'd. Though forely bruis'd ; his limbs all o'er. With ruthlefs bangs were ftiff and fore ; 720 Right fain he would have got upon His feet again, to get him gone ; When Hudibras to aid him came. Quoth he, and caU'd him by his name, lyo CANTO III. PARTI. Courage, the day at length is ours» 725 And we once more as conquerors. Have both the field and honour won. The foe is profligate, and run : I mean all fuch as can, for fome This hand hath fent to their long home; 730 And fome lie fprawling on the ground. With many a gafli and bloody wound. Csefar himfelf could never fay He got two vi6l'ries in a day. As I have done, that can fay, twice I, 735 In one day, veni, vidi, vici. The foe's fo numerous, that we Cannot fo often vincere. And they perire, and yet enow Be left to ftrike an after-blow. 740 Then, left they rally, and once more Put us to fight the bus'nefs o'er. PART I. CANTO III. 171 Get up, and mount thy ftccd ; difpatch, And let us both their motions watch. Quoth Ralph, I fliould not, if I were 745 In cafe for acftion, now be here ; Nor have I turn'd my back, or hang'd An arfe, for fear of being bang'd. It was for you I got thefe harms, Advent'ring to fetch off your arms, 750 The blows and drubs I have receiv'd, Have bruis'd my body, and bereav'd My limbs of ftrength : unlefs you ftoop. And reach your hand to pull me up, I fliall lie here, and be a prey j^g To thofe who now are run away. That thou flialt not, quoth Hudibras: We read, the ancients held it was 172 CANTO III. PART I. More honourable far fervare Civem, than flay an adverfary ; 760 The one we oft' to-day have done. The other fhall difpatch anon : And tho' th' art of a difFrent church, I will not leave thee in the lurch. This faid, he jogg d his good fteed nigher, 765 And fteer'd him gently toward the Squire; Then bowing down his body, ftretch'd His hand out, and at Ralpho reach'd ; When Trulla, whom he did not mind, Charg'd him like lightning behind. 770 She had been long in fearch about Magnano's wound, to find it out ,• But could find none, nor where the fliot That had fo ftartled him was got : But having found the worft was paft, 'j'j^ She fell to her own work at lafl. PARTI. CANTO III. 173 The pillage of the prifoners, Which in all feats of arms was hers ; And now to plunder Ralph flie flew, When Hudibras his hard fate drew 780 To fuccour him ; for, as he bow'd To help him up, flie laid a load Of blows fo heavy, and plac'd fo well, On th' other fide, that down he fell. Yield, fcoundrel bafe, quoth flie, or die ; Thy life is mine, and liberty : But if thou think'ft I took thee tardy. And dar'fl: prefume to be fo hardy. To try thy fortune o'er afrefli, I'll wave my title to thy flefli, 790 Thy arms and baggage, now my right : And if thou haft the heart to try 't. 174 CANTO III. PART I, I'll lend thee back thyfelf awhile, And once more, for that carcafe vile. Fight upon tick. — Quoth Hudibras, 795 Thou offer'fl nobly, valiant lafs. And I lliall take thee at thy word. Firft let me rife, and take my fword ; That fword, which has fo oft this day Through fquadrons of my foes made way, 800 And fome to other worlds difpatch'd. Now with a feeble fpinfher match'd. Will blufli with blood ignoble ftain'd, By which no honour's to be gain'd. But if thou'lt take m' advice in this, 805 Confider, while thou may'ft, what 'tis To interrupt a vi6lor's courfe, B' oppofmg fuch a trivial force. For if with conquefh I come off. And that I fliall do fure enough, 810 PARTI. CANTO III. 175 Quarter thou can'ft not have, nor grace, By law of arms, in fuch a cafe ; Both which I now do offer freely. I fcorn, quoth flie, thou coxcomb filly, Clapping her hand upon her breech, 815 To fliew how much flie priz'd his fpeech. Quarter or counfel from a foe : If thou canfh force me to it, do. But left it fliould again be faid, When I have once more won thy head, 820 I took thee napping, unprepar'd. Arm, and betake thee to thy guard. This faid, flie to her tackle fell, And on the Knight let fall a peal Of blows fo fierce, and preft fo home, 825 That he retir'd, and follow'd 's bum. 176 CANTO III. PARTI. Stand to 't, quoth flie, or yield to mercy. It is not fighting arfie-verfie Shall ferve thy turn. — This ftirr'd his fpleen More than the danger he was in, 830 The blows he felt, or was to feel, Although th' already made him reel. Honour, defpight, revenge, and fliame, At once into his ftomach came ; Which fir'd it fo, he rais'd his arm 835 Above his head, and rain'd a ftorm Of blows fo terrible and thick. As if he meant to hafli her quick. But flie upon her truncheon took them, And by oblique diverfion broke them ; 840 Waiting an opportunity To pay all back with ufury. Which long flie fail'd not of; for now The Knight, with one dead-doing blow. PART r. CANTO III. 177 Refolving to decide the iight, 845 And file with quick and cunning flight Avoiding it, the force and weight He charg'd upon it was fo great, As almoft fway'd him to the ground : No fooner flie th' advantage found, 850 But in fhe flew ; and feconding. With home-made thruft, the heavy fwing, She laid him flat upon his flde. And mounting on his trunk aftride. Quoth fhe, I told thee what would come 855 Of all thy vapouring, bafe fcum. Say, will the law of arms allow I may have grace, and quarter now ? Or wilt thou rather break thy word, And flain thine honour, than thy fword ? 860 A man of war to damn his foul, In bafely breaking his parole. 178 CANTO III. PARTI. And when before the fight, th' hadft vow'd To give no quarter in cold blood ; Now thou haft got me for a Tartar, 865 To make m' againft my will take quarter; Why doft not put me to the fword, But cowardly fly from thy word ? Quoth Hudibras, the day's thine own; Thou and thy ftars have caft me down: 870 My laurels are tranfplanted now. And flourifh on thy conqu'ring brow : My lofs of honour's great enough. Thou needft not brand it with a feoff: Sarcafms may eclipfe thine own, 875 But cannot blur my loft renown : I am not now in fortune's power. He that is down can fall no lower. The ancient heroes were illuftr'ous For being benign, and not bluft'rous 880 PART I. CANTO III. 179 Againft a vanquifli'd foe : their fwords Were fliarp and trenchant, not their words ; And did in fight but cut work out T' employ their courtefies about. Quoth flie, Altho' thou haft deferv'd, 885 Bafe SkibberdeguUion, to be ferv d As thou didft vow to deal with me, If thou hadft got the vi6lory ; Yet I fliould rather adl a part That fuits my fame, than thy defer t. 890 Thy arms, thy liberty, befide All that 's on th' outfide of thy hide. Are mine by military law, Of which I will not bate one ftraw ; The reft, thy life and limbs, once more, 895 Tho' doubly forfeit, I reftore. i8o CANTO III. PART I. Quoth Hudibras, It is too late For me to treat or ftipulate ; What thou command'ft I mufl obey ; Yet thofe whom I expugn'd to-day, goo Of thine own party, I let go. And gave them life and freedom too, Both dogs and bear, upon their parol, Whom I took pris'ners in this quarrel. Quoth Trulla, Whether thou or they 905 Let one another run away. Concerns not me ; but was 't not thou That gave Crowdero quarter too ? Crowdero, whom in irons bound. Thou bafely threw'ft into Lob's pound, 910 Where ftill he lies, and with regret His generous bowels rage and fret : PARTI. CANTO III. 181 But now thy carcafe fliall redeem. And ferve to be exchang'd for him. This faid, the Knight did ftraight fubmit. And laid his weapons at her feet: Next he difrob'd his gaberdine. And with it did himfelf refign. She took it, and forthwith divefling The mantle that flie wore, faid, jefting, 920 Take that, and wear it for my fake- Then threw it o'er his fhurdy back : And as the French, we conquer d once, Now give us laws for pantaloons. The length of breeches, and the gathers, 925 Port-cannons, perriwigs, and feathers, Juft fo the proud, infulting lafs Array 'd and dighted Hudibras. i82 GANTO III. PARTI. Meanwhile the other champions, yerft In hurry of the fight difperfi:, 930 Arriv'd, when TruUa 'd won the day, To fliare in th' honour and the prey. And out of Hudibras his hide, With vengeance to be fatisfy'd ; Which now they were about to pour 935 Upon him, in a wooden fliow'r : But Trulla thruft herfelf between, And fliriding o'er his back agen. She brandifli'd o'er her head his fword. And vow'd they fliould not break her word ; Sh' had given him quarter, and her blood. Or theirs, fliould make that quarter good. For flie was bound, by law of arms, To fee him fafe from further harms. In dungeon deep Crowdero caft 945 By Hudibras, as yet lay faft. PART L CANTO III. 183 Where to the hard and ruthlefs ftones, His great heart made perpetual moans y Him flie refolv'd that Hudibras Should ranfom, and fupply his place. 950 This ftopp'd their fury, and the bailing Which toward Hudibras was hafting. They thought it was but juft and right. That what flie had atchiev'd in fight, She fliould diipofe of how flie pleas'd ; 955 Crowdero ought to be released : Nor could that any way be done So well, as this flie pitched upon : For who a better could imagine } This therefore they refolv'd t' engage In. 960 The Knight and Squire firft they made Rife from the ground where they were laid. Then mounted both upon their horfes, But with their faces to the arfes. 184 CANTO III. PARTI. Orfin led Hudibras's beaft, 965 And Talgol that which Ralpho prefl: ; Whom flout Magnano, valiant Cerdon, And Colon, waited as a guard on ; All ufli'ring TruUa, in the rear. With th' arms of either prifonen 970 In this proud order and array. They put themfelves upon their way, Striving to reach tlV enchanted Caftle, Where flout Crowdero in durance lay flill. Thither with greater fpeed than fhows, 975 And triumphs over conquer'd foes. Do ufe t' allow; or than the bears. Or pageants borne before lord-mayors. Are wont to ufe, they foon arriv'd, In order, foldier-like contriv'd : 980 Still marching in a warlike poflure, As fit for battle as for mufler. PARTI. CANTO III. 185 The Knight and Squire they firft unhorfe, And, bending 'gainfl the fort their force. They all advanc'd, and round about 985 Begirt the magical redoubt. Magnan led up in this adventure, And made way for the reft to enter : For he was fkilful in black art. No lefs than he that built the fort, 990 And with an iron mace laid flat A breach, which ftraight all enter'd at. And in the wooden dungeon found Crowdero laid upon the ground : Him they releafe from durance bafe, 995 Reftor'd t' his fiddle and his cafe, And liberty, his thirfty rage With lufcious veng'ance to afluage ; For he no fooner was at large. But Trulla ftraight brought on the charge, 1000 i86 CANTO III. PART I. And in the felf-fame limbo put The Knight and Squire, where he was fliut ; Where leaving them i' th' wretched hole, Their bangs and durance to condole, Confin'd and conjur'd into narrow 1005 Enchanted manfion, to know forrow. In the fame order and array^ Which they advanc'd, they march'd away : But Hudibras, who fcorn'd to ftoop To fortune, or be faid to droop, 1010 Cheer'd up himfelf with ends of verfe, And fayings of philofophers. Quoth he, Th' one half of man, his mind. Is, fui juris, unconfin'd. And cannot be laid by the heels, 1015 What e'er the other moiety feels. 'Tis not reflraint, or liberty. That makes men prifoners or free j PART I. CANTO III. 187 But perturbations that poflefs The mind, or equanimities. 1020 The whole world was not half fo wide To Alexander, when he cry'd, Becaufe he had but one to fubdue. As was a paltry narrow tub to Diogenes ; who is not faid, 1025 For aught that ever I could read. To whine, put finger i' th' eye, and fob, Becaufe h' had ne'er another tub. The ancients make two fev ral kinds Of prowefs in heroic minds, 1030 The a6live and the paffive valiant, Both which are pari libra gallant ; For both to give blows, and to carry. In fights are equi-necefliuy : But in defeats, the pafTive fhout 1035 Are always found to fland it out i88 CANTO III. PARTI. Moft defpVately, and to out-do The a6live, 'gainft a conqu'ring foe : Tho' we with blacks and blues are fuggil'd. Or, as the vulgar fay, are cudgefd ; 1040 He that is valiant, and dares fight, Tho' drubb'd, can lofe no honour by 't. Honour 's a leafe for lives to come. And cannot be extended from The legal tenant: 'tis a chattel 1045 Not to be forfeited in battel. If he that in the field is flain^ Be in the bed of Honour lain,. He that is beaten may be fed To lie in Honour's truckle-bed. 105a For as we fee th' eclipfed fun By mortals is more gaz'd upon Than when, adorn'd with all his light. He fliines in ferene fky moft bright ; PARTI. CANTO III. 189 So valour, in a low eftate, 1055 Is mofh admir'd and wonder'd at. Quoth Ralph, How great I do not know We may, by being beaten, grow; But none that fee how here we fit, Will judge us overgrown with wit. 1060 As gifted brethren, preaching by A carnal hour-glafs, do imply Illumination, can convey Into them what they have to fay, But not how much ; fo well enough 1065 Know you to charge, but not draw off. For who, without a cap and bauble. Having fubdu d a bear and rabble. And might with honour have come off. Would put it to a fecond proof: 107a A politic exploit, right fit For Prefbyterian zeal and wit. 90 CANTO III. PART r. Quoth Hudibras, That cuckoo's tone, Ralpho, thou ahvays harp'ft upon ; When thou at any thing would'fl rail, 1075 Thou mak'fl: Prefbytery thy fcale To take the height on't, and explain To what degree it is profane. What s'ever will not with thy — what d' ye call — Thy light — jump right, thou call'ft fynodical. As if Prefbytery were a ftandard To fize what s'ever 's to be flander'd. Doft not remember how this day Thou to my beard waft bold to fay, That thou could'ft prove bear-baiting equal With fynods, orthodox and legal ? Do, if thou can'ft, for I deny 't, And dare thee to 't with all thy light. Quoth Ralpho, Truly that is no Hard matter for a man to do, 1090 PART I. CANTO III. 191 That has but any guts in 's brains, And could believe it worth his pains ; But fince you dare and urge me to it. You'll find I've light enough to do it. Synods are myftical bear-gardens, 1095 Where elders, deputies, church-wardens. And other members of the court. Manage the Babylonilli fport. For prolocutor, fcribe, and bearward. Do diiFer only in a mere word. iio<^ Both are but fev ral fynagogues Of carnal men, and bears, and dogs: Both antichriflian aflemblies. To mifchief bent, as far *s in them lies : Both ftave and tail with fierce contefts, 1105 The one with men, the other beafts. The diiFrence is, the one fights with The tongue, the other with the teeth ; 1Q2 CANTO III. PART I. ^ i And that they bait but bears in this, In th' other fouls and confciences; mo Where faints themfelves are brought to flake For golpel-light and confcience fake ; Expos'd to fcribes and prefbyters, Inftead of maftiff dogs and curs ; Than whom th' have lefs humanity, 1115 For thefe at fouls of men will fly. This to the prophet did appear, Who in a vifion faw a bear. Prefiguring the beaftly rage Of church-rule, in this latter age : 1120 As is demonftrated at full By him that baited the pope's bull. Bears naturally are beafts of prey, That live by rapine ; fo do they. What are their orders, conftitutions, 1125 Church-cenfures, curfes, abfolutions, PART I. CANTO III. 93 But fev ral myfhic chains they make, To tie poor Chriftians to the flake ? And then fet heathen officers, Infhead of dogs, about their ears. 1130 For to prohibit and difpenfe. To find out, or to make olTence ; Of hell and heav'n to difpofe, To play with fouls at faft and loofe ; To fet what characters they pleafe, 1135 And mul6ls on fin or godlinefs ; Reduce the church to gofpel-order, By rapine, facrilege, and murder; To make prefbytery fupreme, And kings themfelves fubmit to them; 1140 And force all people, tho' againfh Their confciences, to turn faints; Mufl prove a pretty thriving trade, When faints monopolifts are made : 194 CANTO III. PARTI. When pious frauds, and holy fliifts, 1145 Are difpenfations, and gifts ; There godlinefs becomes mere ware, And ev'ry fynod but a fair. Synods are whelps o' th' Inquiiition, A mungrel breed of like pernicion, 1150 And growing up, became the fires Of fcribes, commiflioners, and triers ; Whofe bus'nefs is, by cunning flight. To cafh a figure for men's light,- To find, in lines of beard and face, 1155 The phyfiognomy of grace ; And by the found and twang of nofe. If all be found within difclofe. Free from a crack, or flaw of fmning. As men try pipkins by the ringing; ii5o By black caps, underlaid with white. Give certain guefs at inward light; PARTI. CANTO III. 195 Which ferjeants at the gofpel wear, To make the fp'ritual calling clear. The handkerchief about the neck, 1 1 65 — Canonical cravat of fmeck. From whom the inftitution came, When church and ftate they fet on flame, And worn by them as badges then Of fpiritual warfaring-men, — 1170 Judge rightly if regeneration Be of the newefh cut in fafliion : Sure 'tis an orthodox opinion. That grace is founded in dominion. Great piety confifts in pride ; 1175 To rule is to be fandlify'd : To domineer, and to controul, Both o'er the body and the foul. Is the moft perfedl difcipline Of church-rule, and by right divine. 1180 196 CANTO III. PARTI. Bell and the Dragons chaplains were More moderate than thofe by far : For they, poor knaves, were glad to cheat. To get their wives and children meat ; But thefe will not be fobb'd off fo, 1185 They mufl have wealth and power too ; Or elfe, with blood and defolation, They'll tear it out o' th' heart o' th' nation. Sure thefe themfelves from primitive And heathen priefthood do derive, 1 1 90 When butchers were the only clerks. Elders and prefbyters of kirks • Whofe directory was to kill ; And fome believe it is fo ftilL The only diff'rence is, that then , 1195 They flaughter'd only beafts, now men. For them to facrifice a bullock. Or, now and then, a child to Moloch, PART I. CANTO III. 97 They count a vile abomination. But not to flaughter a whole nation. 1200 Prefbytery does but tranflate The papacy to a free ftate, A common-wealth of popery, Where ev ry village is a fee As well as Rome, and mufl maintain 1205 A tithe-pig metropolitan ; Where every prefbyter, and deacon. Commands the keys for cheefe and bacon ; And ev'ry hamlet 's governed By 's holinefs, the church's head, 1210 More haughty and fevere in 's place Than Gregory and Boniface. Such church mufl, furely> be a monfter With many heads : for if we confter What in th' Apocalypfe we find, 1215 According to th' Apofbles' mind. 198 CANTO III. PARTI, i *Tis that the whore of Babylon, With many heads, did ride upon ; Which heads denote the finful tribe Of deacon, prieft, lay-elder, fcribe. 1220 Lay-elder, Simeon to Levi, Whofe little finger is as heavy As loins of patriarchs, prince-prelate. And biihop-fecular. This zealot Is of a mmigrel, divers kind, 1225 Cleric before, and lay behind ; A lawlefs linfey-woolfey brother, Half of one order, half another ; A creature of amphibious nature. On land a beaft, a fifli in water ; 1230 That always preys on grace, or fin ; A ftieep without, a wolf within. This fierce inquifitor has chief Dominion over men's belief PARTI. CANTO III. 99 And manners j can pronounce a faint 1235 Idolatrous, or ignorant. When fupercilioufly he fifts. Through coarfeft boulter, others gifts. For all men live, and judge amifs, Whofe talents jump not juft with his. 1240 He'll lay on gifts with hands, and place On duUefl noddle light and grace. The manufacture of the kirk, Whofe paftors are but th' handiwork Of his mechanic paws, infbilling 1245 Divinity in them by feeling. From whence they ftart up chofen veflels, Made by contact, as men get meafles. So cardinals, they fay, do grope At th' other end the new-made pope. 1250 Hold, hold, quoth Hudibras, Soft fire, They fay, does make fweet malt. Good Squire, 200 CANTO III. PART I. Feftina leiite, not too faft ; For hafte, the proverb fays, makes wafte. The qiurks and cavils thou doft make 1255 Are falfe, and built upon miftake: And I fliall bring you, with your pack Of fallacies, t' Elenchi back ; And put your arguments in mood And figure to be underflood. 1260 I'll force you, by right ratiocination. To leave your vitilitigation. And make you keep to th' queftion clofe, And argue dialedlicw?. The queftion then, to ftate it firft, 1265 Is, which is better, or which worft. Synods or bears. Bears I avow To be the worft, and fynods thou. But, to make good th' aflertion. Thou fay 'ft th' are really all one. 1270 PART I. CANTO III. 201 If fo, not worft ; for if th' are idem. Why then, tantundem dat tantidem. For if they are the fame, by courfe Neither is better, neither worfe. But I deny they are the fame, 1275 More than a maggot and I am. That both are animalia, I grant, but not rationalia : For though they do agree in kind. Specific difference we find; 1280 And can no more make bears of thefe, Than prove my horfe is Socrates. That fynods are bear-gardens too. Thou dofl affirm ; but I fay. No : And thus I prove it, in a word, 1285 What s'ever aflembly 's not impow'r'd To cenfure, curfe, abfolve, and ordain. Can be no fynod : but Bear-garden 202 CANTO III. PART I. Has no fuch pow'r, ergo 'tis none; And fo thy fophiflry's o'erthrown. 1290 But yet we are befide the queftion Which thou didft raife the firft conteft on : For that was. Whether bears are better Than fynod-men ? I fay, Negatur. That bears are beafts, and fynods men, 1295 Is held by all : they 're better then ; For bears and dogs on four legs go, As beafls ; but fynod-men on two. 'Tis true, they all have teeth and nails ; But prove that fynod-men have tails: 1300 Or that a rugged, fliaggy fur Grows o'er the hide of preibyter ; Or that his fnout and fpacious ears Do hold proportion with a bear's. A bear's a favage beaft, of all 1 305 Moft ugly and unnatural. PARTI. CANTO III. 20' Whelp'd without form, until the dam Has lickt it into fliape and frame : But all thy light can ne'er evidl. That ever fynod-man was lickt, 1310 Or brought to any other fafliion Than his own will and inclination. But thou dofh further yet in this Oppugn thyfelf and fenfe ; that is. Thou would' ft have prefbyters to go 1315 For bears and dogs, and bearwards too ; A fhrange chimera of beafts and men. Made up of pieces het'rogene ; Such as in nature never met. In eodem fubjedlo yet. 1320 Thy other arguments are all Suppofures hypothetical. That do but beg ; and we may chufe Either to grant them, or refufe. 204 CANTO III. PART I. Much thou haft faid, which I know when, 1325 And where thou ftoFft from other men ; Whereby 'tis plain thy light and gifts Are all but plagiary fliifts ; And is the fame that Ranter faid, Who, arguing with me, broke my head, 1330 And tore a handful of my beard ; The felf-fame cavils then I heard. When b'ing in hot diipute about This controverfy, we fell out ; And what thou know'ft I anfwer'd then, 1335 Will ferve to anfwer thee agen. Quoth Ralpho, nothing but th' abufe Of human learning you produce ; Learning, that cobweb of the brain. Profane, erroneous, and vain ; 1 340 A trade of knowledge as replete. As others are with fraud and cheat ; PARTI. CANTO III. 205 An art t' incumber gifts and wit. And render both for nothing fit ; Makes light unadlive, dull and troubled, 1 345 Like little David in Saul's doublet : A cheat that fcholars put upon Other men's reafon and their own • A fort of error to enfconce Abfurdity and ignorance, 1350 That renders all the avenues To truth impervious, and abftrufe. By making plain things, in debate. By art perplex'd, and intricate : For nothing goes for fenfe or light 1355 That will not with old rules jump right, As if rules were not in the fchools Deriv'd from truth, but truth from rules. This pagan, heathenifli invention Is good for nothing but contention* 1360 2o6 CANTO III. PARTI. For as in fword-and-buckler %ht, All blows do on the target light: So when men argue, the great'il part O' th' contefh falls on terms of art. Until the fuftian ftuff be fpent, 1365 And then they fall to th' argument. Quoth Hudibras, Friend Ralph, thou haft Out-run the conftable at laft; For thou art fallen on a new Difpute, as fenfelefs as untrue, 1370 But to the former oppofite. And contrary as black to white; Mere difparata, that concerning Prefbytery, this human learning; • Two things s' ayerfe, they never yet, 1375 But in thy rambling fancy, met : But I fliall take a fit occafion T' evince thee by ratiocination, PART I. CANTO III. 207 Some other time, in place more proper Than this w' are m : therefore let 's ftop here, And reft our weary'd bones awhile, Already tir'd with other toil. /./tffi st>f'^. Fart/. OzmUS. Zinr ^^3. V PART II. FIRST CANTO. Cfje 9irgumcnt. The K}ngbt being clapp'd by t/S heels in prijofi^ The lajl unhappy expedition^ Love brings his aSlion on the cafe. And lays it upon Hiidibras. How he receives the lady s vifit. And cunningly Jolicits his Jiiit, TVhich Jlje defers : yet, on parole. Redeems him from th' enchanted hole. 1 •^ '■^" l.ReJi scuip. Fart 2. (kfU9 /. Zif A6 . H U D I B R A S. CANTO I. Jdut now, t' obferve romantique method, Let rufty fteel awhile be flieathed; And all thofe harfii and rugged founds Of baftinadoes, cuts, and wounds, Exchang'd to love's more gentle ftyle. To let our reader breathe awhile : 5 212 CANTO I. PART II. In which, that we may be as brief as Is poflible, by way of preface. Is 't not enough to make one ftrange. That fome men's fancies fliould ne'er change. But make all people do and fay The fame things ftill the felf-fame way ? Some writers make all ladies purloin'd, And knights purfuing like a whirlwind : Others make all their knights, in fits 15 Of jealoufy, to lofe their wits ; Till drawing blood o' th* dames, like witches. They're forthwith cur'd of their capriches. Some always thrive in their amours. By pulling plaifhers off their fores ; 2a As cripples do to get an alms, Juft fo do they, and win their dames. Some force whole regions, in defpite O' geography, to change their fite ; PART II, CANTO I. 213 Make former times fliake hands with latter, 25 And that which was before, come after; But thofe that write in rhyme ftill make The one verfe for the other's fake ; For one for fenfe, and one for rhyme, I think 's fufEcient at one time. 30 But we forget in what fad plight We whilom left the captiv'd Knight And penfive Squire, both bruis'd in body. And conjur'd into fafe cuftody. Tir'd with difpute, and fpeaking Latin, 35 As well as bailing and bear-baiting. And defperate of any courfe. To free himfelf by wit or force. His only folace was, that now His dog-bolt fortune was fo low, 40 That either it mufh quickly end. Or turn about again, and mend : 214 CANTO I. PART II. In which he found th' event, no lefs Than other times, befide his guefs. There is a tall long-fided dame — 45 But wond'rous light — ycleped Fame, That like a thin cameleon boards Herfelf on air, and eats her words ; Upon her flioulders wings flie wears Like hanging fleeves, lin'd thro' with ears, 50 And eyes, and tongues, as poets lift, Made good by deep mythologift : With thefe llie thro' the welkin flies. And fometimes carries truth, oft' lies ; With letters hung, like eaftern pigeons, g^ And Mercuries of furtheft regions ; Diurnals writ for regulation Of lying, to inform the nation. And by their public ufe to bring down The rate of whetftones in the kingdom : 60 PART II. CANTO I. 215 About her neck a pacquet-male. Fraught with advice, fome frefli, fome ftale. Of men that walk'd when they were dead, And cows of monfters brought to-bed : Of hail-ftones big as pullets eggs, 65 And puppies whelp'd with twice two legs : A blazing ftar feen in the weft, By fix or feven men at leaft. Two trumpets flie does found at once. But both of clean contrary tones ; 70 But whether both with the fame wind. Or one before, and one behind. We know not ; only this can tell, Th' one founds vilely, th' other well. And therefore vulgar authors name -j^ The one good, th' other evil fame. This tattling goffip knew too well. What mifchief Hudibras befel ; 2 i6 CANTO I. PART II. And ftraight the fpightful tidings bears, Of all, to th' unkind widow's ears. 80 Democritus ne'er laugh'd fo loud To fee bawds carted through the crowd. Or funerals with ftately pomp, March flowly on in folemn dump ; As flie laugh'd out, until her back, 85 As well as fides, was like to crack. She vow'd flie would go fee the fight. And vifit the diftrefled Knight, To do the office of a neighbour. And be a goffip at his labour ; 90 And from his wooden jail, the flocks, To fet at large his fetter-locks, And by exchange, parole, or ranfom, To free him from th' enchanted manfion. This b'ing refolv'd, flie call'd for hood 95 And ufher, implements abroad PART 11. CANTO L 217 Which ladies wear, befide a flender Young waiting damfel to attend her. All which appearing, on flie went, To find the Knight in limbo pent : 100 And 'twas not long before llie found Him, and his ftout Squire in the pound; Both coupled in enchanted tether. By further leg behind together : For as he fat upon his rump, 105 His head, like one in doleful dump. Between his knees, his hands apply'd Unto his ears on either fide. And by him, in another hole, Afilidled Ralpho, cheek by joul ; 110 She came upon him in his wooden Magician's circle, on the fudden. As fpirits do t' a conjurer. When in their dreadful fliapes th* appear. 2i8 CANTO T. PART II. No fooner did the Knight perceive her, 115 But ftraight he fell into a fever, Inflam'd all over with difgrace. To be feen by her in fuch a place ; Which made him hang his head, and fcowl, And wink and goggle like an owl; 120 He felt his brains begin to fwim. When thus the dame accofted him : This place, quoth flie, they fay 's enchanted. And with delinquent fpirits haunted ; That here are ty'd in chains, and fcourg'd. Until their guilty crimes be purg'd : Look, there are two of them appear Like perfons I have feen fomewhere : Some have miftaken blocks and pofls For fpe6lres, apparitions, ghofts, 130 With ilmcer-eyes, and horns ; and fome Have heard the devil beat a drum : PART II. CANTO I. 219 But if our eyes are not falfe glafTes, That give a wrong account of faces. That beard and I fliould be acquainted, 135 Before 'twas conjur'd and enchanted. For though it be disfigur'd fomewhat. As if 't had lately been in combat, It did belong t' a worthy Knight, Howe'er this goblin is come by 't. 140 When Hudibras the lady heard To take kind notice of his beard. And fpeak with fuch refpeft and honour Both of the beard, and the beard's owner. He thought it befh to fet as good 145 A face uDon it as he cou'd, And thus he fpoke : Lady, your bright And radiant eyes are in the right ; The beard 's th' identique beard you knew. The fame numerically true: 150 2 20 CANTO I. PART II. Nor is it worn by fiend or elf, But its proprietor himfelf. O heavens 1 quoth flie, can that be true ? I do begin to fear 'tis you ; Not by your individual whifkers, 155 But by your dialedl and difcourfe, That never fpoke to man or beafl. In notions vulgarly expreft : But what malignant ftar, alas ! Has brought you both to this fad pafs ? 160 Quoth he, the fortune of the war. Which I am lefs afflicSled for, Than to be feen with beard and face By you in fuch a homely cafe. Quoth file, thofe need not be afliam'd 165 For being honourably maim'd ; If he that is in battle conquer'd. Have any title to his own beard, PART II. CANTO I. 22 1 Tho' yours be forely lugg'd and torn, It does your vifage more adorn 1 70 Than if 't were prun'd, and ftarch'd, and lander'd» And cut fquare by the Ruffian ftandard. A torn beard 's like a tatter 'd enfign. That 's braveft which there are mofh rents in. That petticoat, about your fhoulders, 175 Does not fo well become a foldier's ; And I'm afraid they are worfe handled, Altho' i' th' rear, your beard the van led; And thofe uneafy bruifes make My heart for company to ake, 180 To fee fo worfliipful a friend r th' pillory fet, at the wrong end. Quoth Hudibras, this thing call'd pain, Is, as the learned Stoics maintain, Not bad fimpliciter, nor good, 185 But merely as 'tis underflood. 222 CANTO I. PART II. Senfe is deceitful, and may feign As well in counterfeiting pain As other grofs phsenomenas, In which it oft' mifbakes the cafe. 190 But fince th' immortal intelledl. That 's free from error and defecft, Whofe objeds ftill perfift the fame, Is free from outward bruife or maim, Which nought external can expofe 195 To grofs material bangs or blows. It follows we can ne'er befure Whether we pain or not endure ; And juft fo far are fore and griev'd. As by the fancy is believ'd. 200 Some have been wounded with conceit, And dy'd of mere opinion ftraight ; Others, tho' wounded fore in reafon. Felt no contufion, nor difcretion. PART II, CANTO I. 223 A Saxon duke did grow fo fat, 205 That mice, as hiftories relate, Ate grots and labyrinths to dwell in His poftique parts, without his feeling ; Then how is 't poffible a kick Should e'er reach that way to the quick ? 210 Quoth flie, I grant it is in vain, For one that 's bailed to feel pain ; Becaufe the pangs his bones endure, Contribute nothing to the cure ; Yet honour hurt, is wont to rage 215 With pain no med'cine can afluage. Quoth he, that honour's very fqueamifli That takes a bafting for a blemifli : For what 's more honourable than fears, Or fkin to tatters rent in wars ? 220 Some have been beaten till they know What wood a cudgel's of by th' blow ; 224 CANTO I. PARTI!.. Some kick'd, until they can feel whether A ihoe be Spanifli or neats-leather : And yet have met, after long running, 225 With fome whom they have taught that cunning. The furtheft way about, t' o'ercome, r th' end does prove th' neareft home ; By laws of learned duellifts. They that are bruis'd with wood, or iifls, 230 And think one beating may for once Suffice, are cowards and poltrons : But if they dare engage t' a fecond. They 're ftout and gallant fellows reckon'd. Th' old Romans freedom did beftow ; 235 Our princes worfliip, with a blow : King Pyrrhus cur'd his fplenetic And tefhy courtiers with a kick. The Negus, when fome mighty lord Or potentate 's to be reftor'd, 240 PART II. CANTO I. 225 And pardon'd for fome great offence, With which he 's willing to difpenfe, Firfb has him laid upon his belly, Then beaten back and fide, t' a jelly ; That done, he rifes, humbly bows, 245 And gives thanks for the princely blows ; Departs not meanly proud, and boafling Of his magnificent rib-roafting. The beaten foldier proves mofh manful. That, like his fword, endures the anvil, 250 And juftly 's found fo formidable. The more his valour 's malleable : But he that bears a baflinado. Will run away from his own fhadow : And though I'm now in durance fafl, 255 By our own party bafely cafl, Ranfom, exchange, parole, refus'd. And worfe than by the en'my us'd j 226 CANTO I. PART II. In clofe catafta fiiut, pafl hope Of wit or valour to elope ; 260 As beards, the nearer that they tend To th' earth, ftill grow more reverend ; And cannons flioot the higher pitches, The lower we let down their breeches ; I'll make this low dejecfted fate 265 Advance me to a greater height. Quoth flie, you 've almoft made m' in love With that which did my pity move. Great wits and valours, like great ftates, Do fometimes fmk with their own weights : Th' extremes of glory and of fliame. Like eafb and weft, become the fame. No Indian prince has to his palace More foll'wers than a thief to the gallows. But if a beating feem fo brave, 275 What glories muft a whipping have ? PART II. CANTO I. 227 Such great atchievements cannot fail To caft fait on a woman's tail : For if I thought your nat'ral talent Of paffive courage were fo gallant, 280 As you fhrain hard to have it thought, I could grow amorous, and dote. When Hudibras this language heard. He prick'd up 's ears, and ftrok'd his beard ; Thought he, this is the lucky hour, 285 Wines work when vines are in the flower : This crifis then I'll fet my reft on, And put her boldly to the quft'on. Madam, what you would feem to doubt, Shall be to all the world made out, 290 How I've been drubb'd, and with what fpirit. And magnanimity, I bear it ; And if you doubt it to be true, I'll ftake myfelf down againft you : 228 CANTO L PART II. And if I fail in love or troth, 295 Be you the winner, and take both. Quoth flie, I've heard old cunning ftagers Say, fools for arguments ufe wagers. And though I prais'd your valour, yet I did not mean to baulk your wit, 300 Which, if you have, you mufl: needs know What, I have told you before now. And you b' experiment have prov'd, I cannot love where I'm belov'd. Quoth Hudibras, 'tis a caprich 305 Beyond th' infli6lion of a witch ; So cheats to play with thofe ftill aim. That do not underftand the game. Love in your heart as idly burns. As fire in antique Roman urns, 310 To warm the dead, and vainly light Thofe only, that fee nothing by 't. PART II. CANTO I. 229 Have you not power to entertain. And render love for love again ? As no man can draw in his breath 315 At once, and force out air beneath ? Or do you love yourfelf fo much. To bear all rivals elfe a grutch ? What fate can lay a greater curfe. Than you upon yourfelf would force ; 320 For wedlock without love, fome fay, Is but a lock without a key. It is a kind of rape to marry One tliat neglecfbs, or cares not for ye : For what does make it ravifliment, 325 But b'ing againft the mind's confent ^ A rape, that is the more inhuman. For being acfled by a woman. Why are you fair, but to entice us To love you, that you may delpife us ^ 330 230 CANTO I. PART II. But though you cannot love, you fay. Out of your own fantaftic way. Why Ihould you not, at leafb, allow Thofe that love you, to do fo too : For, as you fly me, and purfue 335 Love more averfe, fo I do you : And am, by your own doctrine, taught To pra6life what you call a fault. Quoth flie. If what you fay be true. You mufh fly me, as I do you ; 340 But 'tis not what we do, but fay. In love, and preaching, that muft fway. Quoth he, to bid me not to love. Is to forbid my pulfe to move. My beard to grow, my ears to prick up, 345 Or, when I 'm in a fit, to hickup : Command me to pifs out the moon» And 'twill as eafily be done. PART II. CANTO I. '31 Love's power 's too great to be withftood By feeble human fleili and blood. 350 'Twas he that brought upon his knees The he<5l'ring kill-cow Hercules ; Reduc'd his leager-lions' fkin T' a petticoat, and made him fpin : Seiz'd on his club, and made it dwindle 355 T' a feeble diftaif, and a fpindle. 'Twas he made emperors gallants To their own fifters, and their aunts ; Set popes and cardinals agog. To play with pages at leap-frog ; 360 'Twas he that gave our fenate purges, And flux'd the houfe of many a burgefs ; Made thofe that reprefent the nation Submit, and fuifer amputation : And all the grandees o' th' cabal, 365 Adjourn to tubs, at fpring and fall. 232 CANTO I. PART 11. He mounted fynod-men, and rode 'em To Dirty-lane, and little Sodom ; Made 'em corvet, like Spanifli jenets, And take the ring at madam — 370 'Twas he that made Saint Francis do More than the devil could tempt him to ; In cold and frofty weather grow Enamour' d of a wife of fnow ; And though flie were of rigid temper, 375 With melting flames accofl and tempt her : Which, after in enjoyment quenching, He hung a garland on his engine. Quoth flie, if love have thefe effedls, Why is it not forbid our fex ? 380 Why is 't not damn'd, and interdidled, For diabolical and wicked ^ And fong, as out of tune, againft. As Turk and Pope areby the faints? PART II. CANTO I. 233 I find, I've greater reafon for it, 385 Than I believ'd before t' abhor it. Quoth Hudibras, thefe fad eiFe(fts Spring from your heathenilli negledls Of love's great pow'r, which he returns Upon yourfelves with equal fcorns ; 390 And thofe who worthy lovers flight, Plagues with prepoft'rous appetite ; This made the beauteous queen of Crete To take a town-bull for her fweet ; And from her greatnefs ftoop fo low, 395 To be the rival of a cow. Others, to proftitute their great hearts. To be baboons' and monkeys' fweet-hearts. Some with the dev'l himfelf in league grow. By 's reprefentative a negro ; 400 'Twas this made veftal-maids love-fick, And venture to be bury'd quick. 234 CANTO L PART II. Some, by their fathers and their brothers, To be made miftreffes, and mothers : 'Tis this that proudeft dames enamours 405 On lacquies, and varlets-des-chambres ; Their haughty ftomachs overcomes. And makes 'em ftoop to dirty grooms, To flight the world, and to difparage Claps, iffue, infamy, and marriage. 410 Quoth fhe, thefe judgments are fevere. Yet fuch as I fliould rather bear. Than truft men with their oaths, or prove Their faith and fecrefy in love. Says he, there is a weighty reafon, 415 For fecrefy in love as treafon. Love is a burglar er, a felon. That in the windore-eye does fteal in To rob the heart, and, with his prey. Steals out again a clofer way, 420 PART II. CANTO I. •35 Which whofoever can difcover. He 's fure, as he deferves, to fuffer. Love is a fire, that burns and fparkles In men, as nat 'rally as in charcoals. Which footy chymifls ftop in holes, 425 When out of wood they extra6l coles ; So lovers fliould their paffions choke. That tho' they burn, they may not fmoke. Tis like that fturdy thief that ftole And dragg'd beafts backwards into 's hole ; So love does lovers, and us men Draws by the tails into his den, That no impreffion may difcover. And trace t' his cave the wary lover. But if you doubt I fliould reveal 435 What you intruft me under feal . I'll prove myfelf as clofe and virtuous As your own fecretary, Albertus. 236 CANTO L PART II. Quoth file, I grant you may be clofe In hiding what your aims propofe : 440 Love-paffions are like parables, By which men ftill mean fomething elfe : Tho' love be all the world's pretence. Money's the mythologic fenfe, The real fubflance of the fliadow, 445 "Which all addrefs and courtftiip's made to. Thought he, I underftand your play. And how to quit you your own way; He that will win his dame, muft do As Love does, when he bends his bow; 450 With the one hand thruft the lady from, And with the other pull her home. I grant, quoth he, wealth is a great Provocative to am'rous heat : It is all philtres and high diet, 455 That makes love rampant, and fly out : PART II. CANTO I. 237 'Tis beauty always in the flower, That, buds and bloflbms at fourfcore : 'Tis that which by the fun and moon, At their own weapons are out-done : 460 That makes knights-errant fall in trances. And lav about 'em in romances : 'Tis virtue, wit, and worth, and all That men divine and facred call : For what is worth in any thing, 465 But fo much money as 't will bring ? Or what but riches is there known, Which man can folely call his own ; In which no creature goes his half, Unlefs it be to fquint and laugh? 470 I do confefs, with goods and land, I'd have a wife at fecond-hand ; And fuch you are : nor is 't your perfon My flomach 's fet fo fliarp and fierce on ; 238 CANTO I. PART II. But 'tis your better part, your riches, 475 That my enamour'd heart bewitches : Let me your fortune but poflefs, And fettle your perfon how you pleafe ; Or make it o'er in truft to the devil. You'll find me reafonable and civil. 480 Quoth file, I like this plainnefs better Than falfe mock-paffion, fpeech or letter. Or any feat of qualm or fwooning. But hanging of yourfelf, or drowning ; Your only way with me to break 485 Your mind, is breaking of your neck : For as when merchants break, o'erthrown Like ninepins, they ftrike others down ; So that wou'd break my heart; which done. My tempting fortune is your own. 490 Thefe are but trifles; ev'ry lover Will damn himfelf over and over. PART 11. CANTO I. 239 And greater matters undertake For a lefs worthy miftrefs' fake : Yet th' are the only ways to prove 495 Th' unfeign'd realities of love ; For he that hangs, or beats out *s brains, The devil 's in him if he feigns. Quoth Hudibras, this way 's too rough For mere experiment and proof; 500 It is no jefting, trivial matter. To fwing i' th' air, or plunge in water. And, like a water-witch, try love ; That 's to deftroy, and not to prove : As if a man iliould be diiTe(^led, 505 To find what part is difaffecfted : Your better way is to make over, In truft, your fortune to your lover; Trufl is a trial ; if it break, 'Tis not fo defp'rate as a neck : 510 240 CANTO I. PART II. Befide, th' experiment 's more certain^ Men venture necks to gain a fortune ; The foldier does it every day, Eight to the week, for fixpence pay : Your pettifoggers damn their fouls, 515 To ftiare with knaves in cheating fools : And merchants, vent'ring through the main. Slight pirates, rocks, and horns for gain. This is the way I advife you to, Truft me, and fee what I will do. 520 Quoth file, I fliould be loth to run Myfelf all th' hazard, and you none ; Which muft be done, unlefs fome deed Of your's aforefaid do precede ; Give but yourfelf one gentle fwing, 525 For trial, and I'll cut the firing : Or give that reverend head a maul. Or two or three, againft a wall ; PART II. CANTO I. 241 To fliew you are a man of mettle, And I'll engage myfelf to fettle. 530 Quoth he, my head's not made of brafs, As Friar Bacon's noddle was ; Nor, like the Indian's fcull, fo tough, That, Authors fay, 'twas mufket-proof : As it had need to be to enter, 535 As yet, on any new adventure ; You fee what bangs it has endur'd, That would, before new feats, be cur'd : But if that 's all you ftand upon, Here, ftrike me luck, it fliall be done. 540 Quoth flie, the matter 's not fo far gone As you fuppofe, two words t' a bargain ; That may be done, and time enough, When you have given downright proof: And yet, 'tis no fantaftic pike, 545 I have to love, nor coy diflike ; 242 CANTO I. PART II. 'Tis no implicit, nice averfion T' your converfation, mien, or perfon : But, a jufl fear, left you fliould prove Falfe and perfidious in love ; 550 For if I thought you could be true, I could love twice as much as you. Quoth he, my faith as adamantine. As chains of deftiny, I'll maintain ; True as Apollo ever fpoke, s55 Or oracle from heart of oak ; And if you'll give my flame but vent, Now in clofe hugger-mugger pent. And fliine upon me but benignly. With that one, and the other Pigfney, 560 The fun and day fliall fooner part. Than love, or you, fliake oif my heart : The fun that fliall no more difpenfe His own, but your bright influence ; PART II. CANTO I. '43 I'll carve your name on barks of trees, g6s With true love-knots, and flouriflies ; That fliall infufe eternal fpring. And everlafling flourillilng : Drink every letter on 't in ftum. And make it brilk Champaign become; 570 Where'er you tread, your foot fliall fet The primrofe and the violet ; All Ipices, perfumes, and fweet powders, Shall borrow from your breath their odours ; Nature her charter fliall renew, ^yg And take all lives of things from you ; The world depend upon your eye, And when you frown upon it, die. Only our loves fliall ftill furvive, New worlds and natures to outlive; 580 And like to herald's moons, remain All crefcents, without change or wane. 244 CANTO I. PART IL Hold, hold, quoth flie, no more of this, Sh* knight, you take your aim amifs; For you will find it a hard chapter, 585 To catch me with poetic rapture. In which your maftery of art Doth fliew itfelf, and not your heart ; Nor will you raife in mine combuftion. By dint of high heroic fuftion : 590 She that with poetry is won. Is but a defk to write upon ; And what men fay of her, they mean No more than that on which they lean. Some with Arabian fpices ftrive, 595 T' embalm her cruelly alive ; Or feafon her, as French cooks ufe Their haut-gouts, boullies, or ragouts; Ufe her fo barbaroufly ill, To grind her lips upon a mill, 600 PART II. CANTO I. 245 Until the facet doublet doth Fit their rhymes rather than her mouth ; Her mouth compar'd t' an oyfter's, with A row of pearl in't, 'ftead of teeth ; Others make pofies of her cheeks, 605 Where red, and whiteft colours mix ; In which the lily and the rofe. For Indian lake and cerufe goes. The fun and moon, by her bright eyes, Eclips'd and darken'd in the fkies ; 610 Are but black patches that flie wears. Cut into funs, and moons, and flars. By which aftrologers, as well As thofe in heav'n above, can tell What ftrange events they do forefliow, 615 Unto her under-world below. Her voice, the mufic of the fpheres, So loud, it deafens mortal ears ; 246 CANTO I. PART II. As wife philofophers have thought, And that's the caufe we hear it not. 620 This has been done by fome, who thofe Th' ador'd in rhyme, would kick in profe ; And in thofe ribbons would have hung. Of which melodioufly they fung. That have the hard fate to write beft, 625 Of thofe that flill deferve it leaft; It matters not, how falfe or forc'd, So the beft things be faid o' th' worft ; It goes for nothing when 'tis faid. Only the arrow's drawn to th' head, 630 Whether it be the fwan or goofe They level at : fo fliepherds ufe To fet the fame mark on the hip. Both of their found and rotten flieep : For wits that carry low or wide, 635 Mufl be aim'd higher, or befide PART II. CANTO I. 247 The mark, which elfe they ne'er come nigh, But when they take their aim awry. But I do wonder you fliould chufe This way t' attack me with your mufe, 640 As one cut out to pafs your tricks on. With fulhams of poetic iidlion : I rather hop'd I fliould no more Hear from you o' th' gallanting fcore ; For hard dry bailings ufe to prove 645 The readieft remedies of love, Next a dry diet; but if thofe fail. Yet this uneafy loop-hold jail. In which y' are hamper'd by the fetlock, Cannot but put y' in mind of wedlock : 650 Wedlock, that 's worfe than any hole here, If that may ferve you for a cooler T' allay your mettle, all agog Upon a wife, the heavier clog. 248 CANTO .1. PART II. Nor rather thank your gentler fate, 6^5 That, for a bruis'd or broken pate, Has freed you from thofe knobs that grow Much harder on the marry'd brow : But if no dread can cool your courage. From vent'ring on that dragon, marriage ; 660 Yet give me quarter, and advance To nobler aims your puiflance ; Level at beauty and at wit ; The faireft mark is eafieft hit. Quoth Hudibras, I am beforehand 66^ In that already, with your command ; For w^here does beauty and high wit But in your conflellation meet ^ Quoth Ihe, what does a match imply, But likenefs and equality ^ 670 I know you cannot think me fit To be th' yokefellow of your wit ; PART II. CANTO I. 249 Nor take one of fo mean deferts, To be the partner of your parts ; A grace which, if I cou'd believe, e-j^ IVe not the confcience to receive. That confcience, quoth Hudibras, Is mifinform'd ; I'll ftate the cafe. A man may be a legal donor Of any thing whereof he 's owner, eto And may confer it where he lifts, r th' judgment of all cafuifts : Then wit, and parts, and valour may Be ali'nated, and made away. By thofe that are proprietors, 685 As I may give or fell my horfe. Quoth file, I grant the cafe is true. And proper 'twixt your horfe and you ; But whether I may take, as well As you may give away, or fell ? 690 250 CANTO L PART II.. Buyers, you know, are bid beware ; And worfe than thieves receivers are. How fliall I anfwer Hue and Cry, For a roan-gelding, twelve hands high. All fpurr'd and fwitch'd, a lock on's hoof, 695 A forrel mane ? Can I bring proof Where, when, by whom, and what y ' are fold for. And in the open market toll'd for ? Or, fliould I take you for a ftray. You muft be kept a year and day, 700 Ere I can own you, here i' th' pound, Where, if ye 're fought, you may be found ; And in the mean time I muft pay For all your provender and hay. Quoth he, it ftands me much upon 705 T' enervate this objed:ion. And prove myfelf, by topic clear. No gelding, as you would infer. PART IT. CANTO I. 2/^1 o 710 7^0 Lofs of virility 's averr'd To be the caiife of lofs of beard, That does, like embryo in the womb, Abortive on the chin become : This firft a woman did invent, In envy of man's ornament : Semiramis of Babylon, Who iirft of all cut men o' th' ftone, To mar their beards, and laid foundation Of fow-geldering operation : Look on this beard, and tell me whether Eunuchs wear fuch, or geldings either ? 720 Next it appears I am no horfe, That I can argue and difcourfe, Have but two legs, and ne'er a tail. Quoth flie, that nothing will avail ; For fome philofophers of late here, 725 Write men have four legs by nature. 252 CANTO I. PARTU. And that 'tis cuftom makes them go Erroneoufly upon but two ; As 'twas in Germany made good, B' a boy that loft himfelf in a wood ; 730 And growing down t' a man, was wont With wolves upon all four to hunt. As for your reafons drawn from tails. We cannot fay they're true or falfe, 'Till you explain yourfelf, and fliow 735 B' experiment, 'tis fo or no. Quoth he, if you'll join ifliie on t, I'll give you fat'sfaft'ry account ; So you will promife, if you lofe. To fettle all, and be my fpoufe. 740 That never ihall be done, quoth flic. To one that wants a tail, by me ; For tails by nature fure were meant, As well as beards, for ornament ; PART II. CANTO I. 53 And tho' the vulgar count them homely; 745 In men or beaft they are fo comely, So gentee, alamode, and handfome, I'll never marry man that wants one : And 'till you can demonftrate plain. You have one equal to your mane, 750 I'll be torn piece-meal by a horfe, Ere I'll take you for better or worfe. The Prince of Cambay's daily food Is afp, and bafilifk, and toad. Which makes him have fo ftrong a breath. Each night he ftinks a queen to death ; Yet I fliall rather lie in 's arms Than yours, on any other terms. Quoth he, what nature caii afford I fliall produce, upon my word ; 760 And if flie ever gave that boon To man, I'll prove that I have one ; 254 CANTO I. PART II. I mean, by poftulate illation, When you fliall offer juft occafion ; But fince ye Ve yet deny'd to give 765 My heart, your pris'ner, a reprieve. But made it iink down to my heel. Let that at leaft your pity feel ; And for the fufferings of your martyr, Give its poor entertainer quarter ; 770 And by difcharge, or mainprize, grant Deliv'ry from this bafe reftraint. Quoth fhe, I grieve to fee your leg Stuck in a hole here like a peg, And if I knew which way to do 't, 775 Your honour fafe, I'd let you out. That dames by jail-delivery Of errant knights have been fet free, When by enchantment they have been, And fometimes for it too, laid in, 780 PART II. CANTO I. 255 Is that which knights are bound to do By order, oaths, and honour too ; For what are they renown'd and famous elfe, But aiding of diflreffed damofels ? • But for a lady, no ways errant, 785 To free a knight, we have no warrant In any authentical romance. Or claflic author yet of France ; And I'd be loth to have you break An ancient cuftom for a freak, 790 Or innovation introduce In place of things of antique ufe. To free your heels by any courfe. That might b' unwholefome to your fpurs : Which if I could confent unto, 795 It is not in my pow'r to do ; For 'tis a fervice muft be done ye With folemn previous ceremony ; 256 CANTO I. PART II. Which always has been us'd t' untie The charms of thofe who here do lie ; 800 For as the ancients heretofore To honour's temple had no door, But that which thorough virtue's lay ; So from this dungeon there's no way To honour s freedom, but by paffing 805 That other virtuous fchool of lafliing. Where knights are kept in narrow lifts, With wooden lockets 'bout their wrifts ; In which they for a while are tenants. And for their ladies fufFer penance : 810 Whipping, that's virtue's governefs, Tutrefs of arts and fciences ; That mends the grofs miftakes of nature. And puts new life into dull matter ; That lays foundation for renown, 815 And all the honours of the gown : PART II. CANTO I. 257 This fufFer'd, they are fet at large. And freed with hon'rable difcharge ; Then, in their robes, the penitentials Are llraight prefented with credentials, 820 And in their way attended on By magiftrates of every town ; And, all refpe6l and charges paid. They're to their ancient feats convey'i Now if you'll venture for my fake, 82.5 To try the toughnefs of your back, And fuffer, as the reft have done. The laying of a whipping on, And may you profper in your fuit. As you with equal vigour do 't, 830 I here engage to be your bail. And free you from th' unknightly jail : But fince our fex's modefty Will not allow I fliould be by. 258 CANTO I. PART II. Bring me, on oath, a fair account, 835 And honour too, when you have don *t ; And I'll admit you to the place You claim as due in my good grace. If matrimony and hanging go By deft'ny, why not whipping too ? 840 What med'cine elfe can cure the fits Of lovers, when they lofe their wits ? Love is a boy by poets ftyl'd. Then ipare the rod, and fpoil the child. A Perfian emp ror whipp'd his grannum. The fea, his mother Venus came on ; And hence fome rev'rend men approve Of rofemary in making love. As fkilful coopers hoop their tubs With Lydian and with Phrygian dubs, 850 PART II. CANTO I. 259 Why may not whipping have as good A grace, perform'd in time and mood ; With comely movement, and by art, Raife paflion in a lady's heart ? It is an eafier way to make 855 Love by, than that which many take. Who would not rather fufFer whipping. Than fwallow toafts of bits of ribbin ? Make wicked verfes, traits, and faces. And fpell names over with beer-glafles ? 860 Be under vows to hang and die Love's facrifice, and all a lie ? With China-oranges and tarts. And whining-plays, lay baits for hearts ? Bribe chambermaids with love and money, 865 To break no roguifli jefts upon ye ^ For lilies limn'd on cheeks, and rofes. With painted perfumes, hazard nofes ? 26o CANTO I. PART II. Or, vent'ring to be brifk and wanton. Do penance in a paper lanthorn ? 870 All this you may compound for now, By fuff 'ring what I offer you ; Which is no more than has been done By knights for ladies long agone. Did not the great La Mancha do fo 875 For the Infanta Del Tobofo ? Did not th' illuftrious BafTa make Himfelf a flave for MilTe's fake. And with buU's pizzle, for her love, Was taw'd as gentle as a glove ? 880 Was not young Florio fent, to cool His flames for Biancafiore, to fchool» Where pedant made his pathic bum For her fake fuffer martyrdom ? Did not a certain lady whip, 885 Of late, her hufband's own lordfliip ? PART II. CANTO I. 261 And, tho' a grandee of the houfe, Claw'd him with fundamental blows ; Ty'd him ftark-naked to a bed-pofl, And firk'd his hide, as if fli' had rid pod: ; 890 And after in the feflions court. Where whipping 's judg'd, had honour for 't ? This fwear you will perform, and then I'll fet you from th' enchanted den, And the magician circle, clear. 895 Quoth he, I do profefs and fwear, And will perform what you enjoin. Or may I never fee you mine. Amen, quoth flie, then turn'd about. And bid her fquire let him out. 900 But ere an artift could be found T' undo the charms another bound. The fun grew low, and left the flvies, Put down, fome write, by ladies' eyes. 262 CANTO I. PART II. The moon pull'd off her veil of light, 905 That hides her face by day from fight, Myfterious veil, of brightnefs made. That's both her lufhre and her fliade. And in the night as freely llione. As if her rays had been her own : 910 For darknefs is the proper fphere Where all falfe glories ufe t' appear. The twinkling liars began to mufter, And glitter with their borrow'd luftre, While fleep the weary'd world reliev'd, 915 By counterfeiting death reviv'd. Our vot'ry thought it beft t' adjourn His whipping penance till the morn, And not to carry on a work Of fuch importance, in the dark, 920 PART II. CANTO I. 263 With erring hafte, but rather ftay, And do 't i' th' open face of day ; And in the mean time go in queft Of next retreat, to take his reft. 924 PART II. SECOND CANTO. T'^e Knight and Squire in hot cUfputey Withhi an ace of falling out^ Are parted with a fudden fright Of Jl range alarm, and Jlranger fight \ TVith which adventuring to fickle^ They 're fent away in najly pickle. J'af^^.Oz/UoSZine S3 J-A'iJJ arfib) . H U D I B R A S. CANTO II. 1 IS ftrange how fome men's tempers fult. Like bawd and brandy, with difpute. That for their own opinions ftand faft, Only to have them claw'd and canvaft. That keep their confciences in cafes. As fiddlers do their crowds and bafes, 268 CANTO II. PART II. Ne'er to be us'd but when they 're bent To play a fit for argument. Make true and falfe, unjuft and jufl. Of no ufe but to be difcuft ; lo Dilpute and fet a paradox. Like a ftrait boot, upon the flocks. And ftretch it more unmercifully, Than Helmont, Montaigne, White or Tully. So th' ancient Stoics in the porch, 15 With fierce difpute maintain'd their church. Beat out their brains in fight and fludy. To prove that virtue is a body. That bonum is an animal, Made good with ftout polemic brawl : 20 In which fome hundreds on the place Were flain outright, and many a face Retrench'd of nofe, and eyes, and beard. To maintain what their fedl averr'd. PART II. CANTO II. 269 All which the knight and fquire in wrath, 25 Had like t' have fuffer'd for their faith ; Each llriving to make good his own, As by the fequel fliall be lliown. The fun had long fince, in the lap Of Thetis, taken out his nap, 30 And like a lobfter boil'd, the morn From black to red began to turn ; When Hudibras, whom thoughts and aching 'Twixt fleeping kept all night and waking. Began to roufe his drowfy eyes, 35 And from his couch prepar'd to rife ; Refolving to difpatch the deed He vow'd to do with trufby fpeed : But fii-ft, with knocking loud and bawling. He rous'd the fquii'e, in truckle lolling ; 40 270 CANTO II. PART II. And after many circumftances, Which vulgar authors in romances. Do ufe to fpend their time and wits on. To make impertinent defcription. They got, with much ado, to horfe, 45 And to the caftle bent their courfe. In which he to the dame before To fuffer whipping-duty fwore : Where now arriv'd, and half unharneft. To carry on the work in earneft, 50 He ftopp'd and paus'd upon the fudden, And with a ferious forehead plodding. Sprung a new fcruple in his head. Which firfh he fcratch'd, and after faid ; Whether it be dire6l infringing 55 An oath, if I fliould wave this fwinging, And what I 've fworn to bear, forbear. And fo b' equivocation fwear ; PART ir. CANTO II. 271 Or whether 't be a lefler fin To be forfworn, than a6l the thing, 60 Are deep and fubtle points, which muft, T' inform my confcience, be difcuft ; In which to err a Httle, may To errors infinite make way : And therefore I defire to know 6s Thy judgment, ere we farther go. Quoth Ralpho, fince you do injoin 't, I fliall enlarge upon the point ; And, for my own part, do not doubt Th' affirmative may be made out. 70 But firft, to ftate the cafe aright. For beft advantage of our light ; And thus 'tis, whether 't be a fin. To claw and curry our own fkin. Greater or lefs than to forbear, y^ And that you are forfworn forfwear. 272 CANTO II. PARTU. But firft, o' th' firft : The inward man, And outward, like a clan and clan. Have always been at daggers-drawing, And one another clapper-clawing : 80 Not that they really cufF or fence. But in a fpiritual myflique fenfe ; Which to miftake, and make them fquabble, In literal fray 's abominable ; 'Tis heathenifli, in frequent ufe, 85 With pagans and apoftate jews, To offer facrifice of bridewells. Like modern Indians to their idols ; And mungrel chrifiiians of our times. That expiate lefs with greater crimes, 90 And call the foul abomination. Contrition and mortification. Is 't not enough we 're bruis'd and kicked, With iinful members of the wicked ; PART II. CANTO II. 273 Our veflels, that are fan6lify'd, 95 Profan'd, and curry'd back and fide ; But we muft claw ourfelves with fliameful And heathen ftripes, by their example ? Which, were there nothing to forbid it, Is impious, becaufe they did it : 100 This therefore may be juftly reckon'd A heinous fm. Now to the fecond ; That faints may claim a difpenfation To fwear and forfwear on occafion, I doubt not; but it will appear 105 With pregnant light : the point is clear. Oaths are but words, and words but wind ; Too feeble implements to bind ; And hold with deeds proportion, fo As fliadows to a fubftance do. no Then when they ftrive for place, *tis fit The weaker veflel fliould fubmit. 274 CANTO II. PARTIL Although your church be oppofite To ours, as Black Friars are to White, In rule and order, yet I grant 115 You are a Reformado faint ; And what the faints do claim as due. You may pretend a title to : But faints, whom oaths or vows oblige. Know little of their privilege ; 120 Farther, I mean, than carrying on Some felf-advantage of their own : For if the devil, to ferve his turn. Can tell truth ; why the faints ftiould fcorn. When it ferves theirs, to fwear and lie, 125 I think there 's little reafon why : Elfe h' has a greater power than they. Which 'twere impiety to fay. We 're not commanded to forbear. Indefinitely, at all to fwear; 130 PART II. CANTO II. 275 But to Rvear idly, and in vain, Without felf-intereft or gain. For breaking of an oath and lying. Is but a kind of felf-denying, A faint-like virtue ;. and from .hence 135 Some have broke oaths by Providence : Some, to the glory of the Lord, Perjur'd themfelves, and broke their word : And this the conftant rule and pra6lice Of all our late apofbles' a6ls is. 140 Was not the caufe at firfh begun With perjury, and carried on ? Was there an oath the godly took. But in due time and place they broke ? Did we not bring our oaths in firft, 145 Before our plate, to have them burfl. And caft in fitter models, for The prefent ufe of church and war ^ 276 CANTO II. PART II. Did not our worthies of the houfe, Before they broke the peace, break vows ? 150 For having freed us firfh from both Th' alleg'ance and fuprem'cy oath ; Did they not next compel the nation To take, and break the proteftation ? To fwear, and after to recant, 155 The folemn league and covenant ? To take th' engagement, and difclaim it, Enforc'd by thofe who firfh did frame it ? Did they not fwear, at firfb, to fight For the king's fafety, and his right ? 160 And after march'd to find him out, And charg'd him home with horfe and foot ? And yet ftill had the confidence To fwear it was in his defence ? Did they not fwear to live and die 165 With Effex, and ftraight laid him by ? PART II. CANTO II. 277 If that were all, for fome have fwore As falfe as they, if th' did no more. Did they not fwear to maintain law. In which that fwearing made a flaw ? 170 For proteftant religion vow. That did that vowing difallow ^ For privilege of parliament, In which that fwearing made a rent ? And fince, of all the three, not one 1 jg Is left in being, 'tis well known. Did not they fwear, in exprefs words. To prop and back the houfe of lords } And after turn d out the whole houfe -full Of peers, as dang'rous and unufeful. 180 So Cromwell, with deep oaths and vows. Swore all the commons out o' th' houfe ; Vow'd that the red-coats would difband. Ay, marry wou'd they, at their command ; 278 CANTO II. PART II. And troU'd them on, and fwore and fwore, Till th' army turn'd them out of door. This tells us plainly what they thought, That oaths and fwearing go for nought ; And that by them th* were only meant To ferve for an expedient. 190 What was the public faith found out for. But to flur men of what they fought for ? The public faith, which ev'ry one Is bound t' obferve, yet kept by none ; And if that go for nothing, why 195 Should private faith have fuch a tie ? Oaths were not purpos'd more than law, To keep the good and juil in awe, But to confine the bad and fmful, Like mortal cattle in a pinfold. 200 A faint 's of th' heav'nly realm a peer ; And as no peer is bound to fwear. PART II. CANTO IL 279 But on the gofpel of his honour, Of which he may difpofe as owner, It follows, tho' the thing be forgery, 205 And falfe, th' afRrm it is no perjury. But a mere ceremony, and a breach Of nothing, but a form of Ipeech, And goes for no more when 'tis took. Than mere fainting of the book. 210 Suppofe the Scriptures are of force. They 're but commiffions of courfe, And faints have freedom to digrefs, And vary from 'em as they pleafe -, Or mifmterpret them by private 215 InftrudHons, to all aims they drive at. Then why fliould we ourfelves abridge. And curtail our own privilege ? Quakers, that like to lanthorns, bear Their light within them, will not fwear ; 220 28o CANTO II. PART II. Their gofpel is an accidence. By which they condrue confcience, And hold no fm fo deeply red, As that of breaking Prifcian's head. The head and founder of their order, 225 That ftirring hats held worfe than murder; Thefe thinking they're oblig'd to troth In fwearing, will not take an oath ; Like mules, who if th' ve not their will To keep their own pace, ftand flock ftill ; 230 But they are weak, and little know What free-born confciences may do, 'Tis the temptation of the devil That makes all human adlions evil : For faints may do the fame things by 235 The fpirit, in fincerity, Which other men are tempted to, And at the devil's inltance do ; PART II. CANTO II. 281 And yet the a6lions be contrary, Juft as the faints and wicked vary. 240 For as on land there is no beafb But in fome fiili at fea 's expreft ; So in the wicked there 's no vice, Of which the faints have not a fpice ; And yet that thing that 's pious in 245 The one, in th' other is a fin. Is 't not ridiculous, and nonfenfe, A faint fliould be a flave to confcience ? That ought to be above fuch fancies. As far as above ordinances? 250 She 's of the wicked, as I guefs, B' her looks, her language, and her drefs : And tho', like conftables, we fearch For falfe wares one another's church ; Yet all of us hold this for true, 255 No faith is to the wicked due. 282 CANTO II. PART II. For truth is precious and divine, Too rich a pearl for carnal fwine. Quoth Hudibras, all this is true, Yet 'tis not fit that all men knew 260 Thofe myfteries and revelations ; And therefore topical evafions Of fubtle turns, and fliifts of fenfe. Serve bed with th' wicked for pretence, Such as the learned jefuits ufe, 265 And prefbyterians, for excufe Againft the proteftants, when th' happen To find their churches taken napping : As thus : a breach of oath is duple. And either way admits a fcruple, 270 And may be, ex parte of the maker. More criminal than the injur'd taker ; For he that fiirains too for a vow, Will break it, like an o'erbent bow : PART ir. CANTO II. 283 And he that made, and forc'd it, broke it, 275 Not he that for convenience took it. A broken oath is, quatenus oath. As found t' all purpofes of troth, As broken laws are ne'er the worfe, Nay, 'till they 're broken, have no force. 280 What 's juftice to a man, or laws. That never comes within their claws ? They have no pow'r, but to admonifli; Cannot control, coerce, or punifli, Until they 're broken, and then touch 285 Thofe only that do make them fuch. Befide, no engagement is allow'd. By men in prifon made, for good ; For when they 're fet at liberty. They 're from th' engagement too fet free. 290 The rabbins write, when any jew Did make to god or man a vow. 284 CANTO II. PART II. Which afterwards he found untoward, And ftubborn to be kept, or too hard ; Any three other jews o' th' nation, 295 Might free him from the obligation : And have not two faints pow'r to ufe A greater privilege than three jews ? The court of confcience, which in man Should be fupreme and fovereign, 300 Is 't fit fliould be fubordinate To ev'ry petty court i' th' ftate, And have lefs power than the lefler. To deal with perjury at pleafure ? Have its proceedings difallow'd, or 305 Allow'd, at fancy of pie-powder ? Tell all it does, or does not know, For fwearing ex oiEcio ? Be forc'd t' impeach a broken hedge. And pigs unring'd at vif. franc, pledge ? 310 PART II. CANTO II. 285 Difcover thieves, and bawds, recufants, Priefts, witches, eves-droppers, and nuifance : Tell who did play at games unlawful. And who fill'd pots of ale but half full ; And have no pow'r at all, nor iliift, 315 To help itfelf at a dead lift ? Why iliould not confcience have vacation As well as other courts o' th' nation ? Have equal power to adjourn, Appoint appearance and return ? 320 And make as nice diftin6lions ferve To fplit a cafe, as thofe that carve. Invoking cuckolds names, hit joints ? Why iliould not tricks as flight, do points ? Is not th' high court of juftice fworn 325 To judge that law that ferves their turn ? Make their own jealoufies high treafon, And fix them whomfoe'er they pleafe on ? 286 CANTO II. PART II. Cannot the learned counfel there Make laws in any fliape appear ? 330 Mould 'em as witches do their clay. When they make pictures to deftroy ; And vex them into any form That fits their purpofe to do harm ? Rack them mitil they do confefs, 335 Impeach of treafon whom they pleafe, And moft perfidioufly condemn Thofe that engag'd their lives for them ? And yet do nothing in their own fenfe. But what they ought by oath and confcience. Can they not juggle, and with flight Conveyance play with wrong and right ; And fell their blafts of wind as dear, As Lapland witches bottl'd air ? Will not fear, favour, bribe, and grudge, 345 The fame cafe fev'ral ways adjudge ? PART II. CANTO II. 287 As feamen, with the felf-fame gale, Will fev'ral different courfes fail ; As when the fea breaks o'er its bounds. And overflows the level grounds, 350 Thofe banks and dams, that, like a fcreen. Did keep it out, now keep it in ; So when tyrannical ufurpation Invades the freedom of a nation. The laws o' th' land that were intended 355 To keep it out, are made defend it. Does not in chanc'ry ev'ry man fwear What makes befl for him in his anfwer ? Is not the winding up witnefles, And nicking, more than half the bus'nefs ? 360 For witnefTes, like watches, go JufI: as they 're fet, too faft or flow ; And where in confcience they 're llrait lac'd, 'Tis ten to one that fide is cafl:. 288 CANTO II. PART II. Do not your juries give their verdi6l 365 As if they felt the caufe, not heard it ? And as they pleafe make matter o' fad: Run all on one fide as they 're packt ? Nature has made man's breaft no windores, To publifli what he does within doors ; 370 Nor what dark fecrets there inhabit, Unlefs his own rafh folly blab it. If oaths can do a man no good In his own bus'nefs, why they fliou'd. In other matters, do him hurt 375 I think there 's little reaibn for 't. He that impofes an oath makes it. Not he that for convenience takes it : Then how can any man be faid To break an oath he never made ? 380 Thefe reafons may perhaps look odly To th' wicked, tho' they evince the godly ; PART II. CANTO II. 289 But if they will not ferve to clear My honour, I am ne'er the near. Honour is like that glafTy bubble, 385 That finds philofophers fuch trouble ; Whofe leaft part crack'd, the whole does fly. And wits are crack'd to find out why. Quoth Ralpho, honour's but a word, To fwear by only in a lord : 390 In other men 'tis but a huff To vapour with, inftead of proof ; That like a wen, looks big and fwells, Infenfelefs, and juft nothing elfe. Let it, quoth he, be what it will, 395 It has the world's opinion ftill. But as men are not wife that run The flighteft hazard, they may fliun, There may a medium be found out To clear to all the world the doubt ; 400 290 CANTO II. PART II. And that is, if a man may do 't, By proxy whipt, or fubftitute. Tho' nice and dark the point appear. Quoth Ralph, it may hold up and clear. That fmners may fupply the place 405 Of fufF'ring faints, is a plain cafe. Juftice gives fentence, many times, On one man for another's crimes. Our brethren of New England ufe Choice malefadlors to excufe, 410 And hang the guiltlefs in their flead; Of whom the churches have lefs need. As lately 't happen'd : in a town There liv'd a cobler, and but one, That out of do6lrine could cut ufe, 415 And mend men's lives as well as flioes. This precious brother having flain, In times of peace, an Indian, PART II. CANTO II. =91 Not out of malice, but mere zeal, Becaufe he was an infidel, 420 The mighty Tottipottymoy Sent to our elders an envoy. Complaining forely of the breach Of league, held forth by brother Patch, Againft the articles in force 425 Between both churches, his and ours ; For which he crav'd the faints to render Into his hands, or hang th' offender : But they maturely having weigh'd They had no more but him o' th' trade, 430 A man that ferv'd them in a double Capacity, to teach and cobble, Refolv'd to fpare him ; yet to do The Indian Hoghan Moghan too Impartial juftice, in his ftead did 435 Hang an old weaver that was bed-rid : 292 CANTO II. PART II. Then wherefore may not you be fkip'd, And in your room another whip'd ^ For all philofophers, but the fceptic. Hold whipping may be fympathetic. 440 It is enough, quoth Hudibras, Thou haft refolv'd, and clear'd the cafe ; And canft, in confcience, not refufe. From thy own do6lrine, to raife ufe : I know thou wilt not, for my fake, 445 Be tender-confcienc'd of thy back : Then ftrip thee of thy carnal jerkin. And give thy outward fellow a ferking ; For when thy vefTel is new hoop'd. All leaks of fmning will be ftop'd. 450 Quoth Ralpho, you miftake the matter. For in all fcruples of this nature, No man includes himfelf, nor turns The point upon his own concerns. PART II. CANTO II. 293 As no man of his own felf catches 455 The itch, or amorous French aches ; So no man does himfelf convince. By his own dodlrine, of his fins : And though all cry down felf, none means His own felf in a literal fenfe : 460 Befides, it is not only foppifh, But vile, idolatrous, and popifli. For one man out of his own fkin To frifk and whip another's fm ; As pedants out of fchoolboys' breeches 465 Do claw and curry their own itches.. But in this cafe it is profane. And fmful too, becaufe in vain ; For we muft take our oaths upon it You did the deed, when I have done it. 470 Quoth Hudibras, that 's anfwer'd foon ; Give us the whip, we '11 lay it on. 294 CANTO II. PART II. Quoth Ralpho, that you may fwear true, 'Twere properer that I whip'd you ; For when with your confent 'tis done, 475 The ad: is really your own. Quoth Hudibras, it is in vain, I fee, to argue 'gainft the grain ; Or, like the ftars, incline men to What they 're averfe themfelves to do : 480 For when difputes are weary'd out, 'Tis intereft that refolves the doubt : But fmce no reafon can confute ye, I'll try to force you to your duty ; For fo it is, howe'er you mince it, 485 As, ere we part, I fliall evince it ; And curry, if you ftand out, whether You will or no, your ftubborn leather. Canfl thou refufe to bear thy part r th' public work, bafe as thou art ? 490 PART II. CANTO II. 295 To higgle thus, for a few blows, To gain thy knight an op'lent fpoiife, Whofe wealth his bowels yearn to purchafe. Merely for th' int'reft of the churches ? And when he has it in his claws, 495 Will not be hide-bound to the caufe : Nor ilialt thou find him a curmudgin, If thou difpatch it without grudging : If not, refolve, before we go. That you and I muftpull a crow. 500 Ye 'ad beft, quoth Ralpho, as the ancients Say wifely, have a care o' th' main chance, And look before you, ere you leap ; For as you low, y* are like to reap : And were y' as good as George-a-Green, 505 I fliould make bold to turn agen ; Nor am I doubtful of the iffiie In a juft quarrel, as mine is fo. 296 CANTO II. PART II. Is 't fitting for a man of honour To whip the faints, like bifliop Bonner ? 510 A knight t' ufurp the beadle's office. For which y' are like to raife brave trophies ? But I advife you, not for fear. But for your own fake, to forbear ; And for the churches, which may chance 515 From hence, to fpring a variance, And raife among themfelves new fcruples. Whom common danger hardly couples. Remember how in arms and politics. We ilill have worfted all your holy tricks; 520 Trepann'd your party with intrigue. And took your grandees down a peg ; New-modell'd the army, and cafliier'd All that to legion Smec adher'd ; Made a mere utenfil o' your church, 525 And after left it in the lurch ; PART 11. CANTO II. 297 A fcaflpold to build up our own, And when w' had done with 't, pull'd it down ; O'er-reach'd your rabbins of the fynod, And fnapp'd their canons with a why-not : 530 Grave fy nod-men, that were rever'd For folid face, and depth of beard. Their claffic model prov'd a maggot. Their dire^l'ry an Indian pagod ; And drown'd their difcipline like a kitten, 535 On which they 'ad been fo long a fitting ; Decry'd it as a holy cheat. Grown out of date, and obfolete. And all the faints of the firft grafs. As cafhling foals of Balaam's afs. 540 At this the knight grew high in chafe, And ftaring furioufly on Ralph, He trembl'd, and look'd pale with ire, Like aflies firft, then red as fire. 298 CANTO II. PART II. Have I, quoth he, been ta'en in fight, 545 And for fo many moons lain by 't, And when all other means did fail. Have been exchang'd for tubs of ale ? Not but they thought me worth a ranfom. Much more confid'rable and handfome; 550 But for their own fakes, and for fear They were not fafe, when I was there ; Now to be baffled by a fcoundrel. An upftart fedl'ry, and a mungrel. Such as breed out of peccant humours ^^^ Of our own church, like wens or tumours. And like a maggot in a fore, Wou d that which gave it life devour ; It never fliall be done or faid : With that he feiz'd upon his blade ; 560 And Ralpho too, as quick and bold, Upon his bafket-hilt laid hold. PART II. CANTO II. •99 With equal readlnefs prepared, To draw and ftand upon his guard ; When both were parted on the fudden, ^6^ With hideous clamour, and a loud one, As if all forts of noife had been Contradled into one loud din ; Or that fome member to be chofen, Had got the odds above a thoufand ; 570 And, by the greatnefs of his noife, Prov'd fittefh for his country's choice. This ftrange furprifal put the knight, And wrathful fquire, into a fright; And tho' they flood prepar d, with fatal ^j^ Impetuous rancour to join battle. Both thought it was the w^ifeft courfe To wave the fight, and mount to horfe ; And to fecure, by fwift retreating, Themfelves from danger of worfe beating, 580 30O CANTO II. PART lu 1 Yet neither of them would difparage, By utt'ring of his mind, his courage ; Which made them ftoutly keep their ground. With horror and difdain wind-bound. And now the caufe of all their fear 585 By flow degrees approach'd fo near, They might diftinguifli different noife Of horns, and pans, and dogs, and boys, And kettle-drums, whofe fullen dub Sounds like the hooping of a tub: 59a But when the Tight appear'd in view, They found it was an antique fliew ; A triumph, that for pomp and ftate. Did proudefh Romans emulate : For as the aldermen of Rome 595 Their foes at training overcome. And not enlarging territory. As fome, miftaken, write in flory. PART II. CANTO II. 301 Being mounted in their beft array. Upon a car, and who but they ? 600 And follow'd with a world of tall lads. That merry dities troll'd, and ballads. Did ride with many a good-morrow, Crying, hey for our town, thro' the borough; So when this triumph drew fo nigh, 605 They might particulars defcry. They never faw two things fo pat. In all refpecfts, as this and that: Firft he that led the cavalcate Wore a fow-gelder's flagellate, 610 On which he blew as ftrong a levet. As well-feed lawyer on his brev'ate. When over one another's heads They charge, three ranks at once, like Swedes : Next pans and kettles of all keys, 615 From trebles down to double-bafe ; 302 CANTO II. PART II. And after them upon a nag, That might pafs for a forehand flag, A cornet rode, and on his ftaff, A fmock difplay'd did proudly wave. 620 Then bagpipes of the loudefl drones, With fnuffling broken-winded tones ; Whofe blafts of air in pockets fliut, Sound filthier than from the gut. And make a viler noife than fwine 625 In windy -weather, when they whine. Next one upon a pair of panniers. Full fraught with that which, for good manners. Shall here be namelefs, mixt with grains. Which he difpens'd among the fwains, 630 And bufily upon the crowd. At random round about beflow'd. Then mounted on a horned horfe, One bore a gauntlet and gilt fpurs. PART II. CANTO II. 303 Ty'd to the pummel of a long fword 635 He held revers'd, the point turn'd downward. Next after, on a raw-bon'd fleed. The conqueror*s ftandard-bearer rid. And bore aloft before the champion A petticoat difplay'd, and rampant ; 640 Near whom the Amazon triumphant, Beftrid her beaft, and on the rump on 't Sat face to tail, and bum to bum. The warrior whilom e overcome ; Arm*d with a fpindle and a diftalF, 645 Which, as he rode, fhe made him twift off ; And when he loiter'd, o'er her jQioulder Chafhis'd the reformado foldier. Before the dame, and round about, March'd whifflers, and flaiRers on foot, 650 With lacquies, grooms, valets, and pages. In fit and proper equipages ; 304 CANTO II. PART II. Of whom fome torches bore, fome links, Before the proud virago-minx, That was both madam and a don, 65,^ Like Nero's Sporus, or pope Joan ; And at fit periods the whole rout Set up their throats with clam'rous fliout. The knight tranfported, and the fquire. Put up their weapons, and their ire ; 660 And Hudibras, who us'd to ponder On fuch fights with judicious wonder. Could hold no longer, to impart His animadverfions, for his heart. Quoth he, in all my life till now, 665 I ne'er faw fo profane a Ihow ; It is a paganifh invention. Which heathen writers often mention ; And he, who made it, had read Goodwin, I warrant him, and underftood him : 670 PART 11. CANTO II. 305 With all the Grecian Speeds and Stows, That bed defcribe thofe ancient fliows ; And has obferv'd all fit decorums We find delcrib'd by old hiftorians : For, as the Roman conqueror, e-jc^ That put an end to foreign war, Ent'ring the town in triumph for it. Bore a flave with him in his chariot ; So this infulting female brave Carries behind her here a flave : 680 And as the ancients long ago. When they in field defy'd the foe. Hung out their mantles della guerre, So her proud ftandard-bearer here Waves on his fpear, in dreadful manner, 685 A Tyrian petticoat for banner. Next links and torches, heretofore Still borne before the emperor : 3o6 CANTO II. PART II. And, as in antique triumphs, eggs Were borne for myftical intrigues ; 690 There 's one, with truncheon like a ladle, That carries eggs too, frefli or adle : And ftill at random, as he goes. Among the rabble-rout beftows. Quoth Ralpho, you miftake the matter ; 695 For all th' antiquity you fmatter Is but a riding us'd of courfe, When the grey mare 's the better horfe* ; When o'er the breeches greedy women Fight, to extend their vafl dominion, 700 And in the caufe impatient Grizzle Has drubb'd her hufband with bull's pizzle. And brought him under covert-baron. To turn her vaffal with a murrain ; When wives their fexes fliift, like hares, 705 And ride their hufbands like night-mares ; PART II. CANTO II. 307 And they, in mortal battle vanquifli'd, Are of their charter difenfranchis'd. And by the right of war, like gills, Condemn'd to difbaif, horns, and wheels : 710 For when men by their wives are cow'd, Their horns of courfe are underftood. Quoth Hudibras, thou ftill giv'ft fentence Impertinently, and againft fenfe : 'Tis not the leaft difparagement 715 To be defeated by tli event, Nor to be beaten by main force ; That does not make a man the worfe, Altho' his flioulders, with battoon. Be claw'd, and cudgell'd to fome tune ; 720 A tailor's 'prentice has no hard Meafure, that 's bang'd with a true yard ; But to turn tail, or run away. And without blows give up the day ; 3o8 CANTO II. PART II. Or to furrender ere the affault, 725 That 's no man's fortune, but his fault ; And renders men of honour lefs Than all th' adverfity of fuccefs ; And only unto fuch this fliew Of horns and petticoats is due. 730 There is a leffer profanation, Like that the Romans call'd ovation : For as ovation was allow'd For conqueft purchas'd without blood ; So men decree thofe lefler fliows 735 For YitVrj gotten without blows. By dint of fliarp hard words, which fome Give battle with, and overcome ; Thefe mounted in a chair-curule. Which moderns call a cucking-ftool, 740 March proudly to the river's fide. And o'er the waves in triumph ride ; PART II. CANTO II. 309 Like dukes of Venice, who are faid The Adriatic fea to wed ; And have a gentler wife than thofe 745 For whom the ftate decrees thofe fliows. But both are heathenifli, and come From th' whores of Babylon and Rome, And by the faints fliould be withftood, As antichriftian and lewd ; 750 And we, as fuch, fliould now contribute Our utmoft ftrugglings to prohibit. This faid, they both advanc'd, and rode A dog-trot thro' the bawling crowd T' attack the leader, and ftill preft y^^ 'Till they approach'd him breaft to breaft : Then Hudibras, with face and hand. Made iigns for filence • which obtain 'd. lO CANTO II. PART II. What means, quoth he, this devil's proceflion With men of orthodox profeffion ? 760 Tis ethnique and idolatrous, From heathenifm deriv'd to us. Does not the whore of Bab'lon ride Upon her horned beaft aftride. Like this proud dame, who either is jGg A type of her, or flie of this ^ Are things of fuperftitious function. Fit to be us'd in gofpel funfliine ? It is an antichriftian opera. Much us'd in midnight times of popery ; 770 A running after felf-inventions Of wicked and profane intentions ; To fcandalize that fex for fcolding. To whom the faints are fo beholden. Women, who were our firft apoftles, yy^ Without whofe aid w' had all been loft elfe ; PART II. CANTO II. 311 Women, that left no flone iintiirn'd In which the caufe might be concern'd ; Brought in their children's fpoons and whiftles, To purchafe fwords, carbines, and piftols : 780 Their hufbands, cullies, and fweethearts, To take the faints and church's parts ; Drew feveral gifted brethren in, That for the bifliops would have been. And fix'd them conftant to the party, 785 With motives powerful and hearty : Their hufbands robb'd, and made hard fliifts T' adminifler unto their gifts All they could rap, and rend, and pilfer, To fcraps and ends of gold and filver ; 790 Rubb'd down the teachers, tir'd and fpent With holding forth for parliament ; Pamper'd and edify 'd their zeal With marrow-puddings many a meal ; 312 CANTO II. PART II. Enabled them, with flore of meat, 795 On controverted points to eat ; And cramm'd them 'till their guts did ake. With caudle, cuftard, and plum-cake. What haA^e they done, or what left undone, That might advance the caufe at London ? 800 March'd rank and file, with drum and enfign, T' intrench the city for defence in : Rais'd rampires with their own foft hands. To put the enemy to ftands ; From ladies down to oyfler-wenches 805 Lab our 'd like pioneers in trenches. Fell to their pick-axes, and tools. And help'd the men to dig like moles ? Have not the handmaids of the city Chofe of their members a committee, 810 For raifing of a common purfe. Out of their wages, to raife horfe ? PART II. CANTO II. 313 And do they not as triers fit, To judge what officers are fit ^ Have they — at that an egg let fly, 815 Hit him dire6lly o'er the eye. And running down his cheek, befmear'd, With orange-tawny flime, his beard • But beard and flime being of one hue. The wound the lefs appear'd in view. 820 Then he that on the panniers rode. Let fly on th' other fide a load, And quickly charg'd again, gave fully. In Ralpho's face, another volley. The knight was ftartled with the fmell, 825 And for his fword began to feel ; And Ralpho, fmother'd with the ftink, Grafp'd his, when one that bore a link, O' th' fudden clapp'd his flaming cudgel. Like linflock, to the horfe's touch-hole ; 830 3M CANTO II. PART II. And ftralght another, with his flambeau, Gave Ralpho, o'er the eyes, a damn'd blow. The beafts began to kick and fling. And forc'd the rout to make a ring ; Thro' which they quickly broke their way, 835 And brought them off from further fray ; And tho' diforder'd in retreat. Each of them iloutly kept his feat : For quitting both their fwords and reins, They grafp'd with all their ftrength the manes ; And, to avoid the foe's purfuit. With fpurring put their cattle to 't. And till all four were out of wind. And danger too, ne'er look'd behind. After they 'ad paus'd a while, fupplying 845 Their fpirits, fpent with %ht and flying, And Hudibras recruited force Of lungs, for adlions or difcourfe : PART II. CANTO II. oir O 'J Quoth he, that man is fure to lofe That fouls his hands with dirty foes : 850 For where no honour 's to be gain'd, 'Tis thrown away in being maintain'd : 'Twas ill for us, we had to do With fo difhon'rable a foe : For tho' the law of arms doth bar %rr The ufe of venom 'd fliot in war, Yet by the naufeous fmell, and noifome, Their cafe-fliot favours ftrong of poifon ; And, doubtlefs, have been chew'd with teeth Of fome that had a {linking breath ; 860 Elfe when we put it to the pufli. They had not giv'n us fuch a brufli : But as thofe poltroons that fling durt, Do but defile, but cannot hurt ; So all the honour they have won, 865 Or we have loft, is much at one. 3i6 CANTO II. PART II. 'Twas well we made fo refolute A brave retreat, without purfuit ; For if we had not, we had fped Much worfe, to be in triumph led ; 870 Than which the ancients held no ftate Of man's life more unfortunate. But if this bold adventure e'er Do chance to reach the widow's ear, It may, being deftin'd to afTert 875 Her fex's honour, reach her heart : And as fuch homely treats, they fay,. Portend good fortune, fo this may. Vefpafian being daub'd with durt. Was deftin'd to the empire for't; 880 And from a fcavinger did come To be a mighty prince in Rome : And why may not this foul addrefs Prefage in love the fame fuccefs ? PART II. CANTO II. 317 Then let us ftraight, to cleanfe our wounds, Advance in queft of neareft ponds ; And after, as we firft defign'd, Swear IVe perform'd what flie enjoin'd. 888 ur man's lite more unfortunate. But if this bold adventure e'er Do chance to reach the widow's ear, It may, being deftin'd to aiTert 875 Her fex's honour, reach her heart : And as fuch homely treats, they fay, Portend good fortune, fo this may. Vefpafian being daub'd with durt. Was deftin'd to the empire for't; 880 And from a fcavinger did come To be a mighty prince in Rome : And why may not this foul addrefs Prefage in love the fame fuccefs ? University of California SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FAClLir/ in<; De Neve Drive - Panning Lot 17 • Box 951388 LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA 90095-1388 Return this material to the library from which it was borrowed. 7 #i ^^ U(2Z. II III I II Ill