,5MEUN 4^tilBI ^om mm ■A\opq padiiiKis a)v;p }sk| ^m uo 3IQ ii >iooc| siijx sapSuy soq XaBJC|i'~[ Biu-ioji|B3 JO iCjisaaAjufj mm ? IZIIlg |-<<| l-^^l |Z)ll| ^^AHvuanai^ ^jjhdnvsoi^ %aaAiNH]V^^ ^(?Aavaan-i^ I ^OF'CAIIFOR^ %a3AiNn-3^^ ^OFCAUFOR^ %mmi^ ^53AEUNIVER% ^^Aavaan^ ^jjhwsoI' § s ^ojnvDjo'^ %1]9NVS0# %iiaAiNni\ft^ -^lUBRARYOc ^OF-CAUFOJ!}^ S it i i ^lUBRARYQ^. ^lUBRARYdK ^(JFCAIIFO^^ ^OFCAllF0«j^ ^1^EUNIVER% OS dition, and Kalim having at the same time recovered his sight by rubbing his eyes, perceived that I was son to the woman from whom he had bought his rice- meal ; and seeing by the posture in which I had put myself, that I was resolved to sell my life at a dear rate, he was the more easily appeased by the darwaysh, so they soon found it impossible not to laugh at the comical figure I made. Since this young man loves Djanjhari-Nar, said the darwaysh, let him have her, I beseech you, my dear Kalim. He is an only son, and I will take upon me to make his mother give up her shop, with at least four thousand dinars. I do not believe you can find in all Baku a son-in-law, who has been better educated, is an honester man, and who will behave towards you, as a father-in-law, with more respect. — Ah ! said I, it is not enough that Kalim consents to make me happy ; I renounce his good will, if the charming Djanjhari-Nar does not approve of me. This delicate way of thinking made so great an impression on Kalim, that he took me in his arms, telling me that his daughter was her own mistress, and that she might that very moment decide my fate. She must first then, said the darwaysh, see her new lover such as he is. And upon this, he immediately conducted me to another room, 219 where I cleaned myself; and Kalim, who was pretty much of my own size, having put one of his own gowns on me, I made my appearance before the beautiful Djanjhari-Nar, who liked me so well that she immediately accepted me as her husband. The darwaysh, impatient to see my happiness completed, immediately sent for my mother, who was greatly surprised at my adventure, and who consented to all I wished for. The marriage-contract was drawn up and signed, and that very evening the Imam joined our hands. I slept at my father-in-law's, and my wife was so well satisfied with her choice, that the next morning she ordered for my breakfast a large dish of sheep's-feet with vinegar-sauce. I was now, my dear brother, married to the charming Djanjhari-Nar, and was the happiest man living, if my want of sense had not made me the most miserable. Everything seemed to conspire to make me happy, my bride in a manner adoring mc ; yet, without any just cause, I took it into my head to be jealous of her, to a degree that is scarcely credi- ble. Everything alarmed me ; did she speak to my mother I fancied that my mother had conspired with her to betray me ; even her innocent marks of affection for the darwaysh, to whom we were so much obliged, alarmed me so much that I used to forget his being my father, and my evil genius made me consider their behavior as criminal. In fine, con- tinued the old kalandar, I did nothing but exclaim against Djanjhari-Nar, and scarcely ever permitted her to see the light of day ; yet, though I gave her no rest, she never made the least complaint of my ill usage. My mother and the dar- waysh made me many representations on my foolish jealousy. It is neither bolts nor locks, said they, that can secure your honor ; an honest woman is her own guardian, and your groundless suspicions tend more to make her forget her duty than to persevere in it. But I was deaf to their advice, and at last my madness increased to such a degree, that they resolved to try every method of getting the liettcr of it. 220 One day, the darwaysh was conversing with ray mother, whilst I was employed in making some entries in my books. There has arrived here, said he, within these three days, a young darwaysh from Circassia, whose beauty surpasses any- thing that has yet appeared at Baku. I imagine that the pages, who are to serve us with fruit in the paradise of our great Prophet, can scarcely compare with him, since so much modesty has never been seen united with so many other perfections. His chamber is next to mine, and in conse- quence of this neighborhood, we have contracted a great friendship for one r.nother. I am to give him a breakfast to-morrow, and therefore beg of you to send me a pullet and rice of your own dressing, and a dish of pillaw.-' My mother promised to comply, and accordingly got ever}'thing in read- iness for these excellent ragouts, which she sent my father next morning at the appointed hour. I had heard all their discourse, without seeming to take notice of it, but my curiosity prompting me to see so handsome a man, I resolved to make one at breakfast with my father. I kept my mind to myself; when the dishes were sent off, I went into my wife's apartment. She was still a-bed, on account of some slight indisposition, and was in a profound sleep. I did not think proper to awaken her, but only looked at her atten- tively for some time, when I shut the door, and having given the key a double turn, according to custom, I ran and knocked at the door of the convent of the darwayshes. I asked for the darwaysh, who was my father, and on being told he was in his chamber, I immediately ran to it ; but I had scarcely entered it when I grew pale and cold at the sight of his friend. I had no sooner perceived in him all the features of my wife, than falling down with mere weakness on a sofa of 1 This dish consists of rice stewed with butter, or suet^ and is a very common favorite food all over the East 221 rushes, and wiping my face, I cried out : Where am I, and what prodigy is this ? My father interrupted me here, get- ting up in great confusion, and taking me into his arms in the tenderest manner, asked me what was the matter, and what dark cloud had overspread my imagination? I an- swered that I found myself disordered the moment I entered his chambers, and that I chose to return home immediately. Upon which he led me back to the door of the convent ; and as I had only the street to cross to get home, the mo- ment I left him I flew to my wife's apartment. I began to respire, my dear brother, when I found her in the same con- dition in which I had left her the minute before, and my joy on the occasion was so great that I caught her in my arms, and embraced her with the warmest expressions of affection, which she returned in the most endearing manner. How- ever, I made no great stay with her, but hastened back to the convent, and ran directly to my father's cell, telling him I had got the better of my indisposition, and had come to breakfast with him. You are welcome, said he ; this hand- some Circassian and I have already made a beginning. Sit down to table, and first satisfy yourself with a glass of wine. I rinsed a glass, and my father was going to pour me out some wine, when the Circassian prevented him. Brother, said he, let me have the pleasure of helping him ; I intend this day to do the honors of your table. The sound of these words make me tremble ; my hands in an instant became so weak, and my eyes so fastened on this young man, whose voice perfectly resembled my wife's, that I spilled all the wine upon my clothes and on the table-cloth. I made in a single instant a thousand afflicting reflections ; and quitting the darwayshes in an abrupt manner, I made but one leap from the convent to my house, where my wife was still a-bed. I was so thunderstruck that I could not speak to her. What is the matter with you, dear light of my hfe ? said she, start- ing up in her bed in the greatest confusion ; has any acci- 222 dent happened? Do not permit me, I beseech you, to remain any longer in so cruel an uncertainty. I relumed a little to myself. Ah 1 Djanjhari-Nar, said I, may I believe what I hear? — Why, replied she, what do you see and what do you hear? Satisfy my curiosity in- stantly. — No, said I, I am certainly deceived ; I must again try if my eyes are faithful witnesses of what has happened in the convent of the darwayshes. I then left her, and shut- ting the door as I had already done, I returned to my father's cell much easier in my mind than when I had left it. I beg your pardon, said I at my first appearance, for the ill manners I have been guilty of. My reason for leaving you in so great a hurry was that I had forgotten to leave money with my mother to answer a demand she expects in about a quarter of an hour. I have now no more business to take me away, and nothing can be more agreeable to me than to remain with you and to enjoy the pleasure of your company. Let it be so, said my father ; we may spend all the morning here very agreeably. Taste this dish of pillaw, which has not as yet been touched ; as to the fowl and rice we de- spatched them during your absence. I now began to think of eating some pillaw, but happening to give a look at the young Circassian, just as I had taken some into my mouth, I found it impossible to get it down, my astonishment in- creased to such a degree. The young darwaysh was the very counterpart of Djanjhari-Nar, both in voice and in gesture ; everything, in fine, conspired to make me believe that no two persons had ever been so like each other. Wliat is the matter with you, son? said the old darwaysh. You betray in all your actions so much uneasiness and distraction that I am at a loss what to think of you to-day. — Have I not, said I, the justest reason in the world to do so? ^^'ho the devil would not take this young Circassian for my wife ? I must own to you that I ran home to be sure I had her. I found her both times in bed, and this circumstance should 223 have dissipated my apprehensions, notwithstanding which I find myself unable to master those jealous suspicions which tear my mind to pieces. The two darwayshes laughed heartily at this my candid confession. As for my part, I was at a loss how to behave on the occasion, when the young darwaysh took me up. What, sir, said he, can a slight resemblance then between your wife and me disorder your brain in this manner? And shall jealousy tyrannize over you so far as to make you commit the extravagances with which we have for this hour past been entertained ? How much I pity your spouse ! Certainly she must have a great fund of virtue not to take vengeance for your unjust suspicions. I can easily forgive a delicate jealousy ; but by carrying it the length you do, according to the report of this honest darwaysh, believe me, sir, you take the readiest way of making your wife punish you as you deserve. I listened with great confusion to this lecture by the young darwaysh, and began to be ashamed of my past conduct, at the same time resolving, in a manner, to trust Djanjhari-Nar entirely to her own virtue ; when the young preacher, in moving himself a little, discovered to me near one of his ears a mark in every respect like one that my wife had in the same place. This strange sight wound up my madness again to the highest pitch. I gave a great shout, which surprised the darwayshes. Ah ! said I, I am certainly betrayed, and all my suspicions were too well founded. What sudden fury has seized you ? said my father. Have you lost your wits, or — I did not give him time to make an end of his discourse ; I slipped out of his hands, and ran home in the greatest hurry and confusion, where I found my wife employed in making the abdest. I drew near her in the greatest perturbation, and having examined the mark near her ear, I clapped my hands together, with my eyes lifted up to heaven, and was ready to faint away with surprise. My mother, who was in the shop, which was con- 224 tiguous to my wife's apartment, came in on hearing my cries. She and my wife inquired earnestly what might be the cause of my disorder, and of my so often going out and in : but I did not as yet think proper to give them any satisfaction. I only begged of my mother to prepare a dinner for ourselves and for the handsome darwaysh of Circassia and his companion, whom I told her I intended to invite ; telling her, withal, that I should give before them a full account of everything that had happened to me that morning, which she must agree was very strange and uncommon. I then left them, and at my return to the convent, found my father and the young darwaysh still at table. I must, said I, acquaint you with the full extent of my weakness. The mark which this handsome darwaysh has near his ear gave my jealousy a new alarm ; for my wife has one in the same spot so very like it that I again took it into my head that it was her very self that I saw in this disguise. I ran back to the house to clear up the matter to myself, but, thanks to Heaven ! I found her at her usual purification ; so that all my suspicions are at an end, and I have returned, easy and satisfied in my mind, to spend with you the inter- val between this and dinner, to which I invite you. I have a mind to convince this young darwaysh that, as he cannot be a twin of my dear Djanjhari-Nar, since she is an only child, nature has formed so great a resemblance between them that it is impossible not to be deceived by it. — I accept your invitation, replied the young Circassian, with great pleasure ; nothing can be more agreeable to me. I am curious to see this extraordinary likeness you speak of, about which, however, the darwaysh, my companion, is not altogether agreed ; but then it is only on this express con- dition, that no fit of jealousy shall be permitted to interrupt our joy, for I am disposed to be merry, and perhaps at your expense. — Ah, said I, interrupting him, I promise that you 225 shall do at my house as you like. I have suffered so much this morning in the many struggles I have had to sustain that I am resolved for the future to make myself easy. It is the best thing you can do, replied the young man ; were I a woman, and disposed to play my husband a trick, he would find it to no purpose to watch me : I could easily triumph over all his precautions, and I shall convince you of it presently at your own house. — You will oblige me greatly, said I, in so doing. I will endeavor to entertain you well ; and you cannot do me a greater favor than that of curing me radically of my troublesome passion. I spent a couple of hours very agreeably with the two dar- wayshes till, dinner-time drawing nigh, I left them to prepare for their reception. I thought proper before my guests ar- rived, to see my wife, to make a merit to her of my conver- sion, and to assure her that for the future she should enjoy all the liberty decency might allow. But, my dear brother, how great was my surprise on opening the door of my room, the key of which I had never let go out of my possession, when I found her missing! Great, however, as my surprise was at not finding my wife, it was much increased by finding instead of her the two darwayshes whom I had but just now left at the convent. So unexpected a sight struck me motion- less, and I should no doubt have fallen to the ground if my mother, who had followed close after me, had not supported me in her arms. I remained a long time without being able to utter a single syllable ; but having at length come to my- self : O Heaven ! said I, do I dream, or is it the devil who has persecuted me all the morning, that still takes pleasure in imposing upon me? — No, no, my de.ir Hanif, replied the old darwaysh who I told you was my father, you are not asleep ; there is no more than a little contrivance in all this illusion. Your jealousy had become so ridiculous that we undertook to rid you of it. I contrived, with your mother and your wife, everything that passed in my apartment this 15 226 morning; your behavior fully answered our intentions, and the beautiful darwaysh is no other than the incomparable Djanjhari-Nar. No doubt you will find it a difficult matter to comprehend what I tell you, and I know you will scarcely even credit it, but it is easy to convince you. — Ah then ! said I, with the greatest eagerness, lose no time in doing it ; let me know how it was possible that my wife should at one and the same time be in her bed and in your cell, in her night-clothes and in the dress of a darwaysh. — I shall im- mediately, replied my father, satisfy your curiosity in this respect. Djanjhari-Nar is no longer ignorant how I am related to you. I found myself under the necessity of revealing to her the secret of your birth, in order to obtain her concurrence to the measures we wanted to take. You must know that your mother's deceased husband used to be sometimes jeal- ous of her, and his sudden starts often disconcerted the schemes we had laid to see each other, which gave us no small concern. But as, in quaUty of treasurer to the convent, I had money at will, I seized on the opportunity of the brute's going to the country for a fortnight, and employed workmen whom I could confide in to make a passage be- tween my room and this apartment under the street, which is very narrow ; two trap-doors, with proper counterpoises, do the rest. It is an easy matter to go from this to my cell in less than two minutes by the trap-door you now look at, whereas, in the common way, a person must traverse our court, which is pretty long, and open and shut doors ; so that you may easily judge if it was impossible for your wife to put on the habit of a darwaysh, to throw it off, and to get into bed again, in the interval of time requisite for you to make so great a circuit to get into our convent, or out of it, and to arrive at this apartment. Here is then, ray dear child, a plain discovery of the whole mystery. But I must add that it was with the greatest difficulty imaginable I prevailed 227 on Djanjhari-Nar to act her part in it. She was willing to put up with all your extravagances rather than expose herself to your displeasure, till I obtained her concurrence by assur- ing her that if so rude a trial did not bring you to a better way of thinking, you should never know anything of the trick that had been played on you, and that I should soon make the handsome Circassian set out for his ovvn country. We have, I believe, succeeded, my son, continued the old man, since you have given me your word that you will be no more guilty of the same folly ; and, indeed, no man ever had less reason to be jealous. Your wife is a most virtuous woman, she has stretched her complaisance for your weak- ness more than could be expected ; but, though she were ever so much the reverse, judge, my dear Hanif, by your own experience, what love is capable of. There is nothing that it does not invent and compass to get the better of a jealous person's vigilance, and the surest course a man can take is to trust entirely to the virtue and fidelity of his wife. I know very well that this is looked upon as a very foolish maxim in these eastern countries ; but there is a difference to be made between living in the common way, which re- quires that v/omen should appear but seldom in public, and treating them with that injurious diffidence which you have done with the charming Djanjhari-Nar. You have carried your jealousy to such an excess as to take umbrage at me, who am your father. Even your mother's affection for her daughter-in-law has given you uneasiness. Who can you think, my son, should have your honor more at heart than your mother and myself? And yet you have been weak enough to suspect us of a design upon it. My surprise and confusion were so great, continued the old kalandar, that I was at a loss what answer to make to the darwaysh's wise discourse. My dear father, said I, how much am I obliged to you for having undertaken my cure, and having succeeded so well in it ! I now see all the force of 228 your arguments, and I am ready to sink with shame for my past conduct ; but I am resolved to make amends for my folly by so contrary a behavior that the beautiful Djanj- hari-Nar shall have no less reason to commend me for the future than she has had just cause to complain of me for the time past. Upon this I threw myself at my wife's feet, who still continued in the darwaysh's dress, and asked her pardon for my ridiculous jealousies with such expressions of love and of tenderness as drew tears from my father and mother. Djanhari-Nar, unable likewise to contain hers, im- mediately raised me up. My dear lord, said she, if I have always loved you in spite of the hard manner in which you have sometimes treated me, guess to what a pitch my love must be increased now, when you assure me of an alteration which makes me completely happy ! She seasoned her dis- course with so many endearments that I kissed her a thou- sand times, and cried out in the transport of my pleasure : No, my dear Djanjhari-Nar, there is no difference between the zephyr of spring and the mild breath of your mouth, which refreshes my heart and my soul. I am a new man, and the most agreeable moments of ray life will be those which I shall spend in seeking the means of pleasing you. This sudden change in me gave my father and mother the most sensible satisfaction. Nothing could equal the pleas- ure they enjoyed in having been instrumental in reclaiming me ; as for Djanjhari-Nar's joy, it was great beyond expres- sion. We now sat down to dinner, at which everything passed in the most agreeable manner, and I ever afterwards punctually fulfilled the promise I had given. I lived thus with my wife about thirteen years, during which time I buried the darwaysh and my mother. The children 1 had by my wife lived but a short time. In fine, I lost her, my dear brother, after a sickness of four months, and you may judge how sensibly afflicted I was at the loss of a woman of so great merit. All my friends came to condole with me 229 on the occasion, and endeavored to dissipate my grief ; but what they could not do time effected. As time brings about everything, so it insensibly wore out the memory of my de- ceased wife. I at last began to think of nothing but how to divert myself, and giving myself up entirely to my pleasures I fell little by little into a state of the greatest debauchery and excess. By neglecting my business, my affairs soon fell into disorder, and at the end of two years I was so loaded with debt that, unable to satisfy my creditors, I had no other choice left than flight to avoid a prison. I therefore sold my effects privately for half their value, and escaped out of Baku in the disguise of a kalandar. From the very first day of my taking the habit I liked it so well that I resolved never to leave it off; and I have now persisted in this resolution upwards of thirty years. I have made in it the tour of Persia and of Tartary, during which I have met with a great number of adventures too long to relate. I intend, besides, to take a journey to the Indies and to China, and for this purpose I joined company two months ago with this young man, who has turned kalandar after my example, and whose adventures are at least as uncommon as my own. When the old kalandar had made an end of his discourse, Faruk, my lord, who had listened to him with infinite pleas- ure, thanked him for his kindness. Nothing, said he, can be more original than your history ; and whatever assurance you have given me, I can scarcely believe that of your com- panion can compare with it. — You shall soon have an op- portunity of judging for yourself, replied the young kalandar. ADVENTURES OF THE YOUNG KALANDAR My mother, for I must tell you I never had the pleasure of knowing my father, being so young when he died; 230 my mother, I say, lived at Shiraz, and carried on a pretty considerable trade in milk, butter, and cheese, the produce of flocks that belonged to her, and which she used to send me to town to dispose of; but I soon grew tired of this way of life. There happened to arrive from the Indies, about two years before, a company of comedians, who commonly ex- hibited their performances in the market-place, where they afterwards used to sell remedies to which they attributed a surprising efficacy in all manner of disorders. As they knew but little of the Persian tongue they at first played nothing but pantomimes, and employed an interpreter to dispose of their drugs ; but as they began by degrees to make them- selves understood, they acquired so much reputation that everybody saw them act with pleasure. I never went to Shiraz without going to see their entertainments, and I took so great a hking to them that I offered to make one of their company. I had naturally a genius that way ; I begged they might give me some under part ; they pitched upon a very diverting one in the first play they acted, and I behaved so much to the liking of all the spectators, that I soon looked upon myself as qualified to appear to advantage in the most difficult characters. Particularly, I excelled in acting the drunkard, and played so well the parts of the fool and of the blockhead, that I might have been mistaken for a real inhabi- tant of Siwrihissar. At length, my dear brothers, the drollest scenes had no merit but what I gave them. But not satisfied with the character of an excellent actor, I had likewise a mind to shine as an author. Till then we had played nothing but scraps of comedies, and almost always without any preparation. On my part, I resolved to connect scenes, and thus form a contrived piece ; and I succeeded so well that my first essay proved a masterpiece. I gave a little farce, called " The Kadi Outwitted." I shall inform you of the subject in a few words. A kadi of Kandahar, who is a great miser, has a very 231 pretty daughter, with whom a young Persian falls passion- ately in love. This kadi has promised the girl to a very rich old Mohammedan ; the Persian is ready to go distracted for fear of losing his mistress, and after having thought of many different ways of preventing a marriage which must make him unhappy for the remainder of his Hfe, finds none so likely to succeed as the following. He waits on the kadi, who does not know him, to consult him about carrying away a young woman. The judge at first looks upon it as a very criminal undertaking, and falls into a great passion, but is soon soft- ened by a purse of gold ; and thereupon gives his advice in writing that the girl may be carried off on account of the dis- proportion in point of age between her and the man her parents would marry her to, and especially as the person who intends to carry her off does it with a view of making her his wife ; and in consequence of another purse of gold he forbids the girl's father to give her lover any uneasi- ness, on pain of receiving one hundred blows on the soles of his feet. The young Persian literally follows the ad- vice, or rather the commands, of the kadi, and carries off the daughter ; and the outwitted father finds himself under the necessity of bestowing her as a wife upon her ingenious lover. Such was the plan of my piece ; but I painted in it the kadi's avarice in such lively colors, at least as far as I may judge of the matter, especially in a scene where I played the blockhead to admiration, that I could heartily wish you had seen my comedy acted. What ! said Faruk, should not a comic writer have his performances by heart from one end to another? What can hinder you from giving us this divert- ing scene ? — Ah ! brother, answered the young man, it is impossible it should appear in this place to the same advan- tage as it did on the stage. — That is no matter, replied the other two kalandars, we shall make allowance for the want of actors. We know that it is no easy matter for one man to 232 play different parts. — Since you are so earnest then, said the comedian, I shall endeavor to satisfy you. You must first represent to yourself the kadi alone at his house, complaining of the too good behavior of the inhabi- tants of Kandahar, and that business was very slack this year, especially in a criminal way. I enter his room with one of my companions, dressed like countrymen ; we appear to be both of us quite out of breath, and make him almost mad by a very comical dumb scene. In fine, impatient at seeing us speak only by signs, and curious to know the matter, he be- gins as follows : Kadi. These two scoundrels must certainly be drunk or dumb with all their signs, of which I can make nothing. First Clown. [This was my part, my dear brother.] Oh ! — with your worship's leave, we have hastened with so much diligence — to — Ah ! — how I am out of breath ! — gossip, tell his worship yourself what we have seen, you can best clear up the matter to him. Kadi. Plague on the brutes ! Seco7id Clown. [Crying.l Tell it yourself if you can ; I am so beside myself, and so troubled. Kadi. I believe these animals are come to make me mad. Will you speak or not, scape-gallows? Let me know what you have seen. First Clown. Softly, softly, please your worship; you are going into a passion ; for as Lokman ^ says very justly, in his book of animals — Kadi. Ah ! you scoundrel, you, let Lokman and his animals alone; what have his fables to do with what you have to say? First Clown. Your worship is in the right. But your worship knows that people who have wit, are fond of showing ^ There is a collection of fables under the name of the wise Lokman ; and the accounts given of this Lokman by the people of the East resemble very much those the Greeks have left us of ^Esop. 233 it; and if your worship had not interrupted me, I should have compared your worship to an ass. Kadi. Would you, rascal? But there is no taking notice of what the stupid dog says. Friend, I beg you will make an end, and let me know what has brought you here. First Clown. By all means, sir, with a great deal of pleasure. — Ah ! why do not )ou satisfy his worship? Now, sir, we came to tell you, that as my gossip and myself were jogging along, without thinking anything of what was to happen, we saw \^cries'\ — Ah ! my heart is ready to break when I think of it ; it makes such an impression on me, that I cannot go on. Kadi. Go on, villain, or I sliall punish your insolence. Is there no one there ? First Clow7i. Well, well, please your worship, since you ivill not give me leave to recover myself, to cut short, I shall tell you without any perambulation, that — But hold, I '11 lay you a wager, that with all your penetration you cannot guess what we have seen. Kadi. \_Seizing him by the throat.'] Hangman that you are, have you a mind then to make one go mad in good earnest? First Clown. He ! he ! Well, please your worship, let me go, and I shall immediately tell you how we are come to let you know that we have seen a man murdered. Kadi. Now I am myself again. So much the better, it is good news ; here is a job to buy me a good supper. Second Clown. Ah ! please your worship, the worst of it is, that the man that is killed was my son-in-law, as he has married my daughter, and nothing worse could happen to me. Kadi. So much the better, 1 tell you ; it is a very good affair. Enter one of the Deputy Justice's Thief-takers. Thief-taker. Please your worship, we have just this mo- ment apprehended a murderer a little way from Kandahar. 234 Kadi. Haste, haste, my gown and my turband. Have you any witnesses? \To the country-fellow.'] First Clown. Ay, that we have — let us alone — there will be some to spare. Kadi. As that is the case, I shall set out this instant for the spot where the crime has been committed. But I must first know the circumstances of the criminal. Thief-taker. He is — Kadi. What is he ? Thief-taker. He is a clown belonging to the next village. Kadi. A clown belonging to the next village ! I am in a fine hole truly. What right have such scoundrels to com- mit murder? Ah ! I am ready to go mad. This job would not buy me a cup of water if I wanted it. \To his servants.'] Hold, here is my gown and turband. First Clown. Let us be gone, for the criminal may escape, while we are here chattering in this manner. Kadi. So much the better. Nothing is more natural; and, 'faith, it is an affair that won't pay for shoe leather. Second Clown. But then — Kadi. Turn these fellows out, who split my head with their importunate discourse. Enter the Kadi's Deputy. Deputy. I wish your worship joy — A murder has been committed. Kadi. I know it. Deputy. And if you do, why do not you run to the spot? Kadi. There is no time lost. — We shall have daylight enough to-morrow. Deputy. But then — Kadi. Say no more of it. Deputy. Your worship's indifference surprises me 1 The beast is well shod. Kadi. What do you mean? 235 Deputy. You do not know then, that the murderer was driving sheep to market? Kadi. Sheep, say you ? Deputy. I say sheep. Kadi. And well, wliat have you done with the sheep ? Deputy. A fine question, truly. I immediately sent them to prison. [7>/ a low voice.'\ A novice in the trade would have taken care of the criminal, but I have studied your example too well. I gave the murderer an opportunity of making his escape, and have kept the sheep. Kadi. Quick, quick, my gown and my turband. Let my mule be bridled. \_To the deputy^ You will one day make a figure in my station. — \^To the clowns^ You asses you, why did you not inform me at first that the murderer had sheep? First Clown. Truly, please your worship, we did not think he was the more guilty for having sheep. Kadi. You are mistaken. A man murdered, and sheep ! It is enough. Nothing shall pacify me, I will make an example this moment — of the sheep. First Clown. Your worship is in the right. He deserves to be hanged ; but the poor sheep, sir, have done nothing, and \_crying\ we ask your worship's pardon for them. Kadi. No, no ! no quarter ; justice must be done. I shall just step into this closet with my deputy, and be with you in a minute or two. Second Clown. 'Faith, this is comical work. So then, when a man has got sheep, the trial is over — he may think of the gallows in good earnest. First Clown. Ah ! Gossip, while fortune smiles on us, and the kadi is in the murdering humor, let us take ven- geance on our neighbor Khalib, who is constantly playing us some trick or another. Second Clown. The fellow has better than a hundred and fifty sheep. This is a fine opportunity of getting rid of him, or at least of procuring him a bastinado. 236 First Clown. You are in the right, and 'faith, we will do for liim. He will have good luck if he escapes with blows, and we may afterwards divert ourselves well at his expense. This is, my dear brothers, continued the young kalandar, a sample of my performance. I afterwards introduced the young Persian drawing, by force of money from the covetous kadi, an advice so contrary to his design of marrying his daughter to the old Mohammedan ; but I shall not entertain you with that scene, though pretty original, I think, in its kind. It is enough that I have lately made you sensible of my genius. I now return to my history. — Permit me first to assure you, said Faruk, that the scenes with which you have entertained us, are the prettiest that I ever saw. — Your commendation, replied the young kalandar, is very moder- ate ; my play, from beginning to end, is a most excellent and charming performance, and none of our comic writers has produced anything more perfect and natural ; all Shiraz did me justice ; but tlie kadi of the town, of whom I never thought in composing my comedy, judged otherwise of it. He took it into his head that he saw himself represented in it in the most natural colors, and entering into a furious passion against both the author and the players, he drove us all out of Shiraz, and forbade us, on pain of death, ever to appear there again in that quality. I shall not enlarge upon a little bastinado that I received by the kadi's order, in the name of our company ; it was by the way of acknowledgment for my being a satirical author ; all the other profits were equally divided amongst us. After this I proposed to them that we should go and settle in some other town, where the kadis might be of a better way of thinking ; but they treated me with great harshness, in spite of all the apologies I could make for what had happened ; so that I resolved to renounce the profession and to return to the business I carried on before I took to the stage. Upon this then I went back to my mother, who received 237 me with open arms. I had saved some money during the two years I had spent among the players. Part of this money I laid out in the purchase of a stock of cattle, and being resolved to indulge myself, could not think of travel- ling on foot to sell my butter and cheese ; I therefore bought a little mule, which cost me thirty dinars. As I was going home very quietly on my new purchase, (hiving before me a purblind horse which I generally made use of to carry our butter to market, I met at about a quarter of a league from the town a man who asked me if I had come from Shiraz. — You may see, said I, that I have but just left it. — No doubt, replied he; have you been making some purchase at the fair there? I have bought this mule there, answered I. — What mule? — Why, the mule I ride on. — Are you in earnest? — Certainly, it cost me thirty dinars. — Upon this the man began to laugh ready to split his sides. The plot was well laid, continued he ; whoever sold you the beast was no fool, to palm an ass on you for a mule. He then continued his journey towards Shiraz, laughing all the way as long as he continued within hearing. I really pitied the fellow, as I took him for a fool ; when behold ! about half a league further, another asked me pretty nearly the same question. I answered him as I had done the first ; but when I came to tell him that I had bought a mule : What ! said he, do you take me for a fool to think of making me believe an ass is a mule ? I had a mind to prove that he was mistaken ; but he fell into a passion, abused me severely, and went on, leaving me in the greatest astonishment imaginable. I now began to think in good earnest that I might really have been imposed upon; so I got off my purchase and examined it from head to foot, without finding anything to make me alter my opinion of its being a mule. However, unwilling to rely entirely on my own judgment, or to trust entirely to my eyes on the occa- sion, L made myself a promise to lay the affair before the 238 next man I met ; and swore that, if he judged in favor of the ass, I would at once make him a present of it. I had scarcely gone three hundred paces when I met with a kind of country fellow. Brother, said I, let me know, I beg you, what kind of a beast I have got under me? — A comical question, this, replied he ; don't you yourself know better than I can tell you ? — Let me know it or not, said I, you will oblige me in telling. — Well, then, said the country- man, it is no hard matter to know that it is an ass. This answer thunderstruck me. I got off the beast which I had taken for a mule, and begged the man to accept it as a free gift. I had no occasion to press it upon him ; he thanked me for my present, and leaping on the beast, gave her a kick or two with his heels, and flew off like lightning. I got home on foot, not a little vexed at the trick that had been played me ; my mother, who soon perceived the trouble I was in, asked me the cause of it. I gave her an account of what had happened; she could not forbear laughing at it. Poor unthinking creature, said she, have you not sense enough to see that they were three sharpers, who spread themselves on the road to Shiraz, and who laid a scheme to get your mule from you ? You must be very simple indeed, to be caught by so glaring a piece of knavery. My mother's raillery stung me to the quick ; I saw now that I had suffered myself to be imposed on, and forming a resolution to be revenged on my sharpers the very first opportunity, I returned to the market the next day but one. I knew them again, though they had changed their dress ; and as I saw, by two or three of their tricks, of which I happened to be a witness, that they were not the cunningest of their trade, I thought I might safely defer my vengeance to another opportunity. After having taken my measures very well, and informed my mother of what I was about, I put a pair of empty baskets on a mottled goat that I had bought from one of my neiglv bors, and went with her to the market of Shiraz. I had 239 scarcely arrived, when my three sharpers perceived me, and surrounded me, thinking they would soon be able to make a prey of me as they had done before. I pretended not to know them; bought a leg of mutton, a turkey-cock, and three chickens ; and putting them into my goat's basket : Pretty creature, said I, loud enough for them to overhear me, make haste home ; tell my cook to dress this leg of mutton with rice, to make a stew of the turkey-cock, and a fricassee of the chickens ; but above all things let her not forget to make an excellent tart for the dessert ; let her like- wise set eight bottles of wine to cool. I then gave the goat a little lash, and off she capered. The three sharpers were greatly surprised at this odd scene. What then, brother, said one of them, do you imagine that this creature will obey your orders? — No doubt, answered I, she will; this is not a common goat, she knows my intentions, and I am certain she will to a titde fulfil them. Upon this they fell a-laughing. It is no joke, said I, very seriously ; if you doubt of it, come home and dine with me, and judge for yourselves. The sharpers took me at my word, and curious to know the truth of what I had told them, stuck close to me, while I took some turns in the market to make a few purchases ; which done, we all set out together on foot. I had no sooner got home, but, in order to deceive them the better, I began to question my mother, as if she had been the cook. Well, said I, has the goat come home ? — She arrived, answered she, a long time ago ; you will find her browsing on the cabbages in the garden, and your dinner would have been ready by this, but that the guests you invited sent word that some unex- pected business deprived them of the pleasure of waiting on you this day ; however, the leg of mutton is almost done ; another half hour will complete the turkey ; the fricassee is quite ready ; the tart is in the oven, and the bottles are in snow, as you directed. — It is all very well, said I : here are three gentlemen, whose company will make me amends fol 240 the absence of those I invited. You may send up dinner as soon as you please. — Nothing could come up to the aston- ishment of my guests at the answers given me by my mother. They went into the garden, and knowing the goat again by the marks she had, which they had narrowly examined, they resolved to have her at any price. Dinner was soon ser\'ed up, and I made my sharpers, who suspected nothing, drink very copiously. At length, wheii we had almost done, one of them asked me if 1 would not part with my goat. I pretended to be willing enough, pro- vided I got the worth of her. They first offered twenty dinars of gold, but I refused them with contempt ; in fine, my dear brothers, I played my part so well that I got out of them all the money they had, which in the whole made sixty and some odd dinars. We fell to our liquor again to con- firm the bargain, and my guests left me towards evening, half drunk, and thoroughly satisfied with their purchase. The day following, they thought proper to make a trial of their goat in order to know if she would obey their com- mands with the same obedience they imagined she had done mine the day before. For this purpose they loaded her as I had done, gave her her directions, and then sent her off; but they waited in vain for her return, she never came back. I must here, my dear brothers, explain this mystery to you. One of my neighbors had two white goats spotted with black, but so like one another, that it was impossible to find any difference between them. These goats I bought, in order to be revenged on my sharpers. I made my mother acquainted with my design, gave her, if I may say so, orders for dinner ; and after having tied up one of my goats in the garden, led the other to market, where I bought the same provisions which I had desired my mother to get ready. I then put them on my goat, and after having given her directions to carry them home, turned her adrift, for any one that pleased to lay hands upon her, nor did I ever learn to whose lot she 241 fell. My orders were so punctually complied with, my mother acted her part so naturally, and the other goat, which my sharpers found in the garden, was so very like that which they had seen with me at Shiraz, that they really imagined that there was something above nature in the creature, and so bought her at the dear price I have been telling you. 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