OPEN SESAME" 
 
 RHYMED 
 
 ANSWERS 
 TO '**'* 
 BELLAMY'S 
 CENTURY 
 
 CHARADES 
 
 HARLAN-H-BALLARD 
 
OPEN SESAME 
 
 ONE HUNDRED ANSWERS IN 
 
 RHYME 
 
 WILLIAM BELLAMY'S 
 CENTURY OF CHARADES 
 
 BY 
 
 HARLAN H.^BALLARD 
 
 "Come to the amicable conflict with difficulties ; 
 the antagonist U your helper." Bwke. 
 
 BOSTON 
 
 JOSEPH KNIGHT COMPANY 
 1896 
 
THE AUTHOR'S APOLOGY 
 FOR HIS BOOK 
 
 WITHIN a few days of its publication, Mr. 
 Bellamy's fascinating "Century of Charades" 
 passed through my hands on its way to a shelf 
 in the Berkshire Athenaeum. Never was more 
 clearly demonstrated the proverb, " The librarian 
 who reads is lost." 
 
 Instead of mechanically cataloguing the little 
 book, I opened it, and, struck by the grace and 
 ingenuity of the charades, soon found myself a 
 captive. 
 
 Piqued by the intricacy of many of the riddles, 
 I determined to solve them all. 
 
 Having succeeded, after three or four evenings, 
 it occurred to me (with no thought of their pub- 
 lication) to throw the answers into rhyme, and 
 send them to Mr. Bellamy. 
 
 The notion then came that, should they amuse 
 him, they might also please those who had en- 
 joyed his charades. The following very kind and 
 flattering note from Mr. Bellamy confirmed what 
 
had been a passing thought into a possibly rash 
 determination : 
 
 DORCHESTER, JUNE i, 1895. 
 MY DEAR SIR: 
 
 I have been very much amused by your answers to 
 my charades. They are very bright and witty ; in fact, 
 in many cases the answer is far wittier than the cha- 
 rade itself. 
 
 I have had a lingering fear that many who guessed 
 the answers, with the aid of the key, perhaps, would 
 fail to see how the parts fitted, would overlook some 
 of my puns, and would be unable to explain many of 
 my allusions. I am happy to see that in your case, 
 at any rate, my fears were unfounded. Your verses 
 make quite an exhaustive commentary on mine. 
 
 I am particularly pleased at your ingenuity in work- 
 ing into your hundredth answer the words that make 
 up the hundred answers. 
 
 For my own sake as well as for yourself, I should 
 like to see these rhymes published. Every one who 
 has enjoyed my book, I am sure would enjoy yours. 
 Very sincerely yours, 
 
 WILLIAM BELLAMY. 
 
 H. H. BALLARD, ESQ. 
 
 Mr. Knight, to whom these answers were sub- 
 mitted, entered heartily into the plan, and, as a 
 result, "Open Sesame" is now offered, not ex- 
 actly to the public, but to that comparatively 
 small circle of readers who know how to condone 
 a pun, and who relish " a little nonsense now and 
 then." 
 
 H. H. BALLARD. 
 d) Mass., Nov. 20, 1895* 
 
HAVE you heard of the wonderful " one-hoss shay" 
 
 That ran a century to a day, 
 
 Then stopped and shivered as if ziraidf 
 
 Ah ! but I Ve answered the first charade. 
 
II 
 
 " GIVE me the Latin word for crow" 
 
 Thundered Professor Raucus: 
 " Crocus," replied poor frightened Joe. 
 
 The next ! " " Please, sir, it 's ' caucus ! ' " 
 
 [This, by memory's curious laws, 
 Suggested by " defend his caws."] 
 
 A ballad quaint of long ago 
 Sings of a youth who used to mow : 
 Mansfield vipers bit in vain, 
 For Molly mollified the pain. 
 
 The huckster, fraudulentus homo, 
 Sells tea, and purchaser, per chroma. 
 
Ill 
 
 PUSSY'S purr beside the fire 
 Sings of satisfied desire ; 
 While in the chase appears confessed 
 The misery of man's unrest. 
 
 They purchase truest " consol "-ation, 
 Who take a share of relaxation. 
 
IV 
 
 THE Roman L has been reduced 
 
 To English ell and Flemish. 
 From out the egg the wild thrush " lays " 
 
 Break songs without a blemish. 
 The ant, industrious little soul, 
 
 Makes holiday in sugar-bowl. 
 Boston frowns with tolerance scant 
 When New York calls an aunt an ant, 
 For Boston must be elegant ! 
 
V 
 
 MY love cares little for the sight 
 Of outward show or masquerade, 
 
 In child and husband her delight, 
 Her fancy dwells not on parade ; 
 
 Yet it would try her soul to see 
 
 No gleaming arms of infantry ! 
 
VI 
 
 SPARKLING dews upon the grass 
 Are Diana's looking-glass. 
 TV, though ever out of sight, 
 Ends the dawn and brings the night. 
 Bury it as best you can, sir, 
 We shall resurrect the answer. 
 For the name we cannot find, 
 Dusenbury comes to mind. 
 
VII 
 
 No galleys now bring myrrh Iromfar 
 To stately dames of Rome ; 
 
 Where Caesar drove his conquering car 
 Now stands the farmer's home. 
 
VIII 
 
 Tar is the blood of pine-trees, shed 
 To save the gallant tar; 
 
 Napoleon had cause to dread 
 The " Tartars" of the Tsar. 
 
IX 
 
 APRIL had a little Ram, 
 
 Its fleece was bright as gold, 
 
 It cast a blur upon the sight 
 Of Rambler overbold. 
 
X 
 
 WHO wrote this riddle is a scamp 
 That well deserves the writer's cramp ; 
 About his neck should be a tie 
 Would hang the offender mountain high; 
 'Twould do me good to stick a knife in 
 The perpetrator of this hyphen / 
 
XI 
 
 THE student from the Charles returning 
 May think his skull the seat of learning; 
 But down in New Haven they learn quite well 
 On the sliding seat of a six-oared shell. 
 
 The pin disturbs dear baby's sleep ; 
 And the sculpin scuttles adown the deep. 
 
XII 
 
 THE number four comes square in view 
 When two is multiplied by two. 
 A misconception here I find ; 
 Judgment severe, almost unkind: 
 Though history may not decide 
 Lessees was greatest when he died, 
 His sternest critics must confess 
 Without his " end " he had been "Less." 
 
 " Torturing fangs of pain " is good 
 When "forceps " makes it understood. 
 
XIII 
 
 " WITH his back to the field and his feet to the 
 fit? 
 
 11 Tripping the light fantastic toe" 
 Behold the undaunted Graf: 
 My lady may well refuse to mount 
 The fiery steed of the terrible Count ; 
 Except as a photograph. 
 
XIV 
 
 " ONLY the actions of the just 
 Smell sweet and blossom in the dust" 
 Flower of flax, and flour of rye, 
 Both shall one day justify 
 Human faith and industry. 
 
XV 
 
 UNRIVALLED is the fern in queenly grace, 
 
 Daintily mirrored in our mountain springs ; 
 Bold Warwick finds his rival in the ace, 
 " Proud setter-up and puller-down of kings ! " 
 Is "furnace of affliction " metaphoric ? 
 Ask the poor debtor for the year's caloric ! 
 
XVI 
 
 Thor was a heathen god of old, 
 Whose thorax might a whirlwind hold ; 
 His breath was like the smoking flax, 
 He thundered with his battle-#.r. 
 Odin's halls have passed away, 
 Odin's son has had his day ; 
 Yet every Thursday shall proclaim 
 The awful glory of his name. 
 
XVII 
 
 IN " Sartor Resartus" the lesson is taught 
 Of the trouble by clothes to humanity brought. 
 The //;/ may be old, and decrepit, and bent, 
 But for woman its strength and its beauty were 
 
 lent; 
 
 And though in dark alleys its days may be passed, 
 It will come to the ball, like the Princess, at last. 
 
 Hail, King Clothespin / take thy throne ! 
 
 Power is thine before unknown. 
 
 'Gainst thy might no bands prevail, 
 
 Glistening arms, nor shirts of male ; 
 
 Stainless glory shall be thine, 
 
 Monarch of an endless line ! 
 
 [N. B. Our author's pride seems scanty, 
 To fetch his hero from a shanty.] 
 
XVIII 
 
 THE structure of the earth is 
 
 By scientists #z0/ecular. 
 Sainted Assisi wore a cross, 
 
 And so do asses secular. 
 Though your " complete " be ne'er so " sweet," 
 
 My true-love none surpasses ; 
 With lassies sweet naught can compete, 
 
 Except it be mo 1 lassies. 
 
XIX 
 
 " THERE is a Reaps* whose name is Death, 
 
 And, with his sickle keen, 
 He reaps the bearded grain at a breath, 
 And the flowers that grow between." 
 
 This did my lady oft rep*0/, 
 
 Alone on her couch of pain ; 
 And the hours passed by with lingering feet 
 
 Breathing the sad refrain 
 A tiny bell rang sweet and clear 
 Eternity was drawing near. 
 
 Now, for the love of Mary, Peter, 
 Open the golden gates, and greet her ! 
 
XX 
 
 THE maidens at Lochinvar's wedding, I note, 
 Imagined he hadn't a crown or a groat. 
 For he rode from the Esk all dripping, you see, 
 Grotesque as a lover could possibly be. 
 
 But Scotland's bright waters leave never a stain; 
 His suit he will press, and his bride he will gain ; 
 No flood can extinguish the flame in his breast, 
 For, unlike his raiment, that can't be re-pressed ! 
 
XXI 
 
 !< MAN wants but little here below," 
 Give him a checque and let him go ; 
 Give him a mate to share his pain, 
 Or cry checkmate, and end his reign. 
 
XXII 
 
 No cry too faint for anxious mother's ear ; 
 With draughts of tea are filled the cups that cheer; 
 When coming through the rye two lovers met ; 
 And, sure, before you ride, it 's on you '11 get. 
 Is this charade a touchstone for my wit? 
 Kindly criterion ; I will challenge it. 
 
XXIII 
 
 THERE lived a clam in days of yore, 
 
 His bride a sweet Molluscan ; 
 Their humble home was by the shore, 
 
 Its architecture, Tuscan. 
 And tides might ebb and tides might flow, 
 
 They gave no sign or token ; 
 Mid all the clatnorQMS winds that blow, 
 
 They lived in peace, unbroken ! 
 
XXIV 
 
 WHERE flows the Dee, a burning 
 
 Beacon blazes bright; 
 And this, on his returning, 
 
 Is the fisherman's delight. 
 
XXV 
 
 THIS riddle teaches me not to heed 
 
 A maiden's first refusal ; 
 For what at first looks dark, indeed, 
 
 Grows bright on re^ternsal. 
 
 The man who composes charades bright as these 
 Should receive in return a whole lac of rupees ; 
 But if into annas the lac be divided, 
 Give a part to the fellows that guess them, as I 
 did! 
 
XXVI 
 
 arm-chairs ? " Tile " for hat ? 
 Yes, in a sense colloquial ; 
 But Noah's reptile ? Well, for that, 
 Consult the schools parochial. 
 
XXVII 
 
 CYPRESS and olive both we bring, 
 
 A nasty, heartless offering, 
 " The king is dead ! Long live the king ! " 
 
 When monarchs die. 
 Forgetting him whose life is done, 
 To the new king we lightly run : 
 " Monarch and dynasty are one," 
 Our fickle cry. 
 
XXVIII 
 
 STUDY this riddle a bit, my dear, 
 Until your wits are ripened : 
 
 The answer clear 
 
 Will then appear, 
 The pig was in the sty penned. 
 
 But beware of one of the riddler's tricks, 
 By which attention he tries to fix 
 On incidents misleading : 
 
 The clever rogue 
 
 Omits the brogue 
 From Patrick's special pleading ! 
 
XXIX 
 
 THE reindeer fattens on the moss, 
 The cow, perhaps, would spurn it ; 
 
 The French to Moscow marched with loss, 
 How could the Russians burn it ! 
 
XXX 
 
 MY FIRST 
 
 ABSURD contradictions our language employs ; 
 We call that a still that occasions most noise ; 
 And when from the body the spirit has fled, 
 We wake the still sleeper with spirits, I Ve read. 
 
 MY SECOND 
 
 In Hebrides greater and Hebrides less, 
 The seacoast is outlined by many a ness. 
 
 MY WHOLE 
 
 When Nature lay in silent sleep, 
 And Darkness brooded on the deep, 
 Before the morning stars had sung, 
 Or ever seraph's harp was strung, 
 Ere Brahma wakened from his dream, 
 Stillness reigned, and reigned supreme. 
 
XXXI 
 
 A HEALTH to Shakespeare! shall it be "milk- 
 
 shak*? 
 
 Or Roman punch ? Ah, no ! this were to make 
 A frivolous jest of all that 's great in man : 
 Mix wine and blood and tears and drink it, ye 
 
 who can ! 
 
XXXII 
 
 HE who sings and runs away 
 May live to sing another lay. 
 
XXXIII 
 
 DETESTABLE trick on words to play; 
 " Forequarter of lamb " the " L," you say! 
 
 Without the " L," its plain to see 
 The other three quarters are a-m-b. 
 
 That lamb was ewe, but did you know 
 Yew '11 kill a horse, and make a bow? 
 
 When Henry felt Montgomery's lance 
 Small need was there of ambulance. 
 
XXXIV 
 
 HERE'S outrage foul, beyond a doubt : 
 The judgment groundless, quite too fly; 
 
 The players rightly feel put out, 
 And score the error as a lie. 
 
 Such base hits give the game short stops ; 
 
 Bawling with rage, home runs the sly cur, 
 His shady words suggest the cops, 
 
 But they are pitching on the striker ! 
 
XXXV 
 
 DEAR girl with rosy lips apart, 
 Eau de Cologne will cure the smart; 
 Then may it be your pleasing hap 
 To find another, smarter chap. 
 
 He '11 lead you down by Lover's lane, 
 
 Through flowery fields, through groves of birch : 
 May naught that hallowed path profane ; 
 
 The chaplain waits in yonder church. 
 
XXXVI 
 
 How Mary's sad yet queenly face 
 Outlives her record of disgrace! 
 The tear, the smile, the glittering ax, 
 Might make e'en Azrael's hand relax. 
 
 Then twine the smilax round her bed, 
 Her stainless bed of sculptured stone ; 
 
 Weep for the grace and beauty fled, 
 But judgment leave with God alone. 
 
XXXVII 
 
 HIGH in the Roman Forum 
 
 Where brave men used to speak, 
 To left and right stood, huge and bright, 
 
 Full many a brazen beak. 
 In honor of old Camillus, 
 
 Each battered prow was there: 
 Their silent lips spake of the ships 
 
 Hisflrowess did not spare. 
 
 [Some truth in your last remark I find, 
 Nor is it to Webster's words confined ; 
 But except, if you please, the word " caress,' 
 For that becomes plural without the s.] 
 
XXXVIII 
 
 IN joining music, monk, and ham, 
 A man of taste is not mistaken ; 
 
 And why not add a dithyramb 
 
 For polka dance with friar Bacon ! 
 
 Philanthropists do not regret 
 That captives are no more " to let" 
 
 Though hamlet be an unknown town, 
 Hamlet shines in Shakespeare's crown. 
 
XXXIX 
 
 A GALLANT knight drew up his steed, 
 And stood beneath his lady's bower; 
 
 Of gathering gloom he took no heed, 
 He took no heed of summer shower. 
 
 The lady, at her lattice high, 
 
 A father's stern command obeyed, 
 With heaving breast and downcast eye 
 
 She slowly dropped the window-shade. 
 
 Bella donna is known for " fair lady," I ween, 
 Her berries are deadly, her leaves darkest green ; 
 But is Bella-my fair, in not giving the right shade, 
 Since black, and not "red," is the fruit of the night- 
 shade? 
 
XL 
 
 THETIS, distracted by fear, distressed for the fate 
 
 of Achilles, 
 Secretly bore the child to the goat-breeding island 
 
 of Scyros. 
 Here in a maiden's garb, far distant from tumult 
 
 of battle, 
 Long she kept him hid; but when the crafty 
 
 Ulysses 
 
 Opened his peddler's pack, the boy caught the 
 flash of a sword-blade. 
 
 Eagerly he uprose ; tore off the effeminate gar- 
 ments, 
 
 Sheathed his limbs with brass, and donned a glit- 
 tering helmet. 
 
 Then, while Thetis wept, he joyfully rushed to 
 the conflict, 
 
 Bearing destruction to Troy; swift death to invin- 
 cible Hector. 
 
 Him to his conquering car he fasten'd with 
 thongs unrelenting; 
 
 Raptatum bigis, ut quondam, atremque cruento 
 
 Pulvere, par pedes trajectum lora tumentes ! 
 
Lo! where Priam comes bringing a ransom for 
 Hector; 
 
 White is his hair with age, and bent his tottering 
 figure. 
 
 Moved by the old man's prayers, Achilles sur- 
 renders the body 
 
 Into the father's arms, blood-stained and reek- 
 ing with garbage. 
 
XLI 
 
 THE seas of old, as I Ve been told, 
 Held many a gay and good nymph, 
 
 And every breeze that moved the trees 
 Disclosed a startled wood-nymph. 
 
 Still further back, there is no lack, 
 
 In the remotest periods, 
 Of girls with wings, and girls in springs, 
 
 Bright goddesses and nereids. 
 
 In modern times the poet's rhymes 
 
 Delight in sprite and fairy ; 
 And in the sea, dear mermaids be, 
 
 Blue-eyed and golden-hair-y. 
 
 Yet this charade reveals a maid 
 Better than Neptune's finned lass, 
 
 She whirls on the deck at the boson's beck, 
 The sailor's rollicking windlass / 
 
XLII 
 
 THE number over this refrain 
 Shows how much figures may contain, 
 For when you come to think it o'er 
 You see it 's forty, and two more; 
 Nor can we quite the thought exclude 
 That tumors call for forti-tude ! 
 
XLIII 
 
 ALAS, poor maiden, with sad, tear-dimmed eyes ! 
 With you most heartily I sympathize, 
 'T is not for fathers of such girls as you 
 To dog each lover that may come to woo. 
 
 Were I your lover I would brave the ire 
 Of your too hasty, too impetuous sire ; 
 Were I your father, I would take your part ; 
 Were I your ma, I 'd press you to my heart, 
 
 I cannot chide you for your bitter plaint ; 
 Treatment so cruel might provoke a saint ; 
 Nor will I dogmatize on filial duty ; 
 Pm only sorry for you, little beauty! 
 
XLIV 
 
 THE fairest bud " comes out " at sweet sixteen, 
 
 The blushing promise of a social queen. 
 
 Not only in the fountain, plays the/*?/, 
 
 Clarissa's eyes are brighter, blacker yet. 
 
 What other measure, when the Lords shall judge it, 
 
 Can pass unanimous, except the budget f 
 
XLV 
 
 THIS is about as difficult as breathing ; 
 
 For tea plus thing can equal naught but teething. 
 
XLVI 
 
 You need not seek the hermit's cell 
 To fare as simply, and as well ; 
 Add to your soup the savory herb, 
 And you will find the feast superb. 
 
XLVII 
 
 MAIDEN, to your plaintive song, 
 Chimes a tale forgotten long ; 
 Your simple faith, your lover's candor, 
 Rival Hero and Leander. 
 
 Many ways the tales agree, 
 You are fair and so was she. 
 Both your lovers leave you pale, 
 Both are anxious for a sail ; 
 Did Hero's hero swim the sea ? 
 Yours takes to water, well as he ; 
 And, grandest attribute of man, 
 Both can, because they think they can ! 
 They agree in one thing more, 
 When they come, they come to z.dore! 
 
XLVIII 
 
 IF any the opinion share 
 That men are made by what they wear, 
 Then, for their guidance, be it said, 
 That clothes may make a guy instead. 
 Thus, when a dude begins to dance, 
 We recognize it at a glance. 
 
XLIX 
 
 LET not those straying locks alarm, 
 They give your neck an added charm ; 
 Were you a man you 'd thank the lace 
 That parted with such kindly grace ; 
 Yet never necromancer vex 
 For transformation of your sex ; 
 No doubt you might enjoy a row, 
 When freed from dress and furbelow; 
 No doubt you 'd find it rather nice 
 To look unawed on tramps and mice ; 
 No doubt the girls would call you "sir; " 
 'Twould be but natural, if you were ; 
 And yet, dear child, 't were better far 
 To stay precisely as you are ! 
 
" Will all great Neptune's ocean wash this blood 
 Clean from my hand? No ; this my hand 
 Will rather the multitudinous seas incarnadine^ 
 Making the green one red. n Macbeth. 
 
 WHEN oceans blush and seas grow red, 
 What basin can be used instead ? 
 Can Bengal's bay, or Baffin's ? No, 
 Nor the great gulf of Mexico ; 
 The stain is on thy soul, Macbeth, 
 The wages of thy sin is death ! 
 
LI 
 
 ONE bitter night, when skies were gray, 
 And frozen was the ground, 
 
 It chanced upon your homeward way, 
 A little wren was found. 
 
 Like good Samaritan of old, 
 You deemed it but a pleasure 
 
 To save the bird all chilled with cold 
 For children dear to treasure. 
 
 And so, I wonder not at all 
 
 The thought came ere you slumbered, 
 :t Who careth for the sparrow's fall, 
 Our very hairs hath numbered" 
 
LII 
 
 OVER the main, through mist and rain 
 Toward hidden reef we drave; 
 But warning wave, the ship to save, 
 Shouted aloud " Refrain ! " 
 
LIII 
 
 WHERE, oh, where, is good old Jacob ? 
 Where, oh, where, is good old Jacob? 
 Where, oh, where, is good old Jay-cub ? 
 Safe now in the Promised Land. 
 
 In their blood, his children he brews ? 
 In their blood, his children, Hebrews ! 
 They '11 meet him in the Promised Land. 
 
LIV 
 
 THE fez is a sort of Arabian cap, 
 The ant puts the sluggard to shame for his nap. 
 And what can there be more decidedly pleasant 
 Than to feast with a friend on a well-ripened 
 pheasant / 
 
LV 
 
 RIDDLES to right of us, 
 Riddles to left of us, 
 Riddles in front of us, 
 Harder than thunder ! 
 Quick must the fight be made ; 
 Charge on the bright charade ! 
 Yet, every step, afraid 
 Lest we shall blunder. 
 
LVI 
 
 Clap your hands if actors please, 
 Bait your trap for mice with cheese ; 
 Men are caught an easier way, 
 Clap-trap takes them every day. 
 
LVII 
 
 FOR youth be love and fond desire ; 
 Give me a book and open fire. 
 Dry are the fountains nereids love, 
 My nymphs have slipped away in triads ; 
 John, take your adze to yonder grove ; 
 Cut me a cord of 
 
LVIII 
 
 THAT Crete was false as 't was reputed, 
 Cannot discreetly be 
 
LIX 
 
 WHEN on the tennis court you tread 
 The startled lob lifts up its head ; 
 I have a somewhat hazy notion 
 That stir may end in wild commotion ; 
 My lady may, as like as not, 
 Have dropped a lobster in the pot. 
 
 Sadly he feels the cruel smart, 
 Yet wears her image on his heart. 
 
LX 
 
 THAT sigh may well be pardoned you, 
 Your lady's stockings are so blue ; 
 I should n't like the girl that I kissed 
 To be a widow or a psychist. 
 Like Cupid, I prefer, you see, 
 To end my Psy " with c-h-e "1 
 
LXI 
 
 WITHOUT " me " women might be won, 
 But without us they 'd be undone, 
 For let the " men " depart, and, lo ! 
 Women have nothing left but " wo." 
 When lightnings fill the world with dread, 
 And heaven trembles overhead, 
 What spell is known to end the thunder, 
 Excepting "d-e-r" I wonder? 
 
LXII 
 
 MY Muse has discovered in Hamlet, the "Dane" 
 And further discourse does the lady disdain. 
 
LXIII 
 
 IF in life's lottery I had my pick , 
 I 'd make the choice unerringly and quick, 
 I should not pick my way with patient toil, 
 Nor set a wick on fire with midnight oil ; 
 I 'd go with Pickwick and his comrades three, 
 And spend the day in jollity and glee. 
 
LXIV 
 
 DOUBTFUL tricks require a trump ; 
 For your first, I venture pump; 
 And, the second trick to win, 
 What 's the matter with the kin? f 
 Finally, to clear the track, 
 I shall lead this little Jack ; 
 Not, of course, the Jack of Hearts, 
 But that other " Jack," that darts 
 Fiery glance from pumpkin shell, 
 Where Peter kept his wife so well ! 
 
LXV 
 
 No title won in foreign land, 
 
 No garland brought by Beauty's hand, 
 No epitaph the world has known, 
 
 Can equal "G.A. 7?. " alone. 
 
LXVI 
 
 " Now bring me the Luck of Edenhall," 
 I will drink surcease to the maiden's grief, 
 
 In Luc know, sore afraid, an' all 
 
 The Highlanders marching to her relief. 
 
LXVII 
 
 Age, in a timely, kindly way, 
 
 With peaceful twilight ends the day ; 
 
 The ax, with sharp and sudden blow, 
 
 Lays kings and queens and empires low. 
 
 The blood by dying Ajax shed 
 
 Still dyes the hyacinth with red. 
 
LXVIII 
 
 A GIRL of ordinary sense 
 
 Would like him all the better 
 
 Who showed enough intelligence 
 To kiss before he met her ! 
 
 For if, in some celestial sphere, 
 
 She dreamed her lips had his met, 
 She 'd cry on seeing him appear, 
 " It is the will of Kismet!" 
 
LXIX 
 
 IF letters two the thought express, 
 There is no virtue in X-S. 
 
 Essex, by his pride betrayed, 
 Angered England's mightiest maid. 
 
LXX 
 
 THE knights are dust, 
 
 And I mistrust 
 Their swords are dull with 
 
 Mist and rust. 
 
LXXI 
 
 THE curfew tolls the knell of parting day, 
 The moon and stars resume their silent sway, 
 Night settles peacefully on vale and hill, 
 Save when yon cur Whoa ! Pegasus, stand 
 still ! 
 
 {Few know the trouble Peggy makes 
 When, in his lofty flight, he " breaks."] 
 
LXXII 
 
 and seven kings 
 Conferred intent on serious things ; 
 The seven monarchs grow to eight 
 By counting in the Potentate. 
 
LXXIII 
 
 You back the bay ? Well, I won't quarrel, 
 But, here 's a tip, hedge on the sorrel. 
 
 A cat may look upon a king ; 
 
 But "tip-cat? that's another thing. 
 
LXXIV 
 
 T-i in " mountain " may be found, 
 
 And so may " m-o-n ; " 
 While Timon is a play renowned 
 
 From William Shakespeare's pen. 
 
 NOTE. Although " Timon " is not the correct answer, it 
 will be seen that it fits the riddle fairly well, inasmuch as the 
 letters both in "Ti" and "mon" are found in the word 
 44 mountain." The charade is as follows : 
 
 11 My first from out a mountain came, 
 My last like origin may claim, 
 Of one of Shakespeare's plays my whole's the name." 
 
 The right solution first came to me in a note from Mr. 
 Bellamy, who wrote, 
 
 " Though well were aimed your shafts of wit, 
 One little mouse you failed to hit, 
 That trap J s the rock on which you split. 
 The play was Mouse- Trap Shakespeare writ, 
 At least so Hamlet christened it." 
 
LXXV 
 
 WATCH and ward the angels kept 
 Over Samuel while he slept. 
 
 Fire, the word the Marshal gave ; 
 Died the " bravest of the brave." 
 
 Samphire Crithmum maritimum 
 Grows on rocks beside the sea : 
 
 Dangerous rocks ; I would n't climb 'em, 
 Rather let those pickles be ! 
 
LXXVI 
 
 " NOBODY asked you, Sir" she said, 
 Dear little, queer little, artless maid. 
 
 In Caesar's fit shook all the powers of earth ; 
 In scissors' fit lay all the strength of Worth. 
 
 The temperate man who guards against excess 
 Avoids a surfeit, and escapes distress. 
 
LXXVII 
 
 YOUR first is curious ? That is queer ! 
 
 The ass has not a brilliant mind. 
 Though Cromwell wore his " long before," 
 
 Richard's cuirass was short behind ! 
 
LXXVIII 
 
 POINT de raison d'etre, ma chere, 
 Pour mariage ou pour trousseau 
 
 C'est vrai, ainsi que dit " ma mere," 
 Ton ami, Jean Jacques Rousseau. 
 
LXXIX 
 
 WISDOM of the ass confessing, 
 Balaam changed his curse to blessing. 
 
 The foe looked on with bated breath 
 When Bayard closed his eyes in death. 
 
 Fair, in some Elysian dell, 
 Grows the immortal asphodel. 
 
LXXX 
 
 M for a thousand ought to go; 
 A bar above it makes it grow. 
 
 On floating Earth and all its cargo, 
 Napoleon tried to lay embargo. 
 
LXXXI 
 
 BOBBY CUPID shot at me, 
 Shot at me a shaft, Oh ! 
 
 He '11 come back and marry me, 
 Pretty Bobby Shaftoe. 
 
LXXXII 
 
 WHEN the dreadful day was done, 
 When the glorious field was won, 
 Spectral warriors came by night 
 To renew the ghostly fight. 
 
 Saintly prayer or priestly ban 
 Naught avail with wrath of man ; 
 Deaf to mercy's pitying knock, 
 Ghosts renew the battle-shock. 
 
 Time and place can not control 
 The eternal passions of the soul : 
 Human love in Heaven shall dwell, 
 Human hate shall burn in Hell. 
 
 Wraiths of warriors pale and stern 
 Fight by night at Bannockburn. 
 
LXXXIII 
 
 THE Hun once made the Roman fear ; 
 The tress falls light on lady's ear, 
 The huntress loves to chase the deer. 
 
LXXXIV 
 
 Alph is the sacred river 
 Runs darkling to the sea ; 
 
 A is doomed forever 
 To be pursued by B. 
 
 Who took your btt is in your debt, 
 
 For Cadmus stole the alphabet. 
 
LXXXV 
 
 By all the racers flying past, 
 The bicyclist was quite outclassed ; 
 Dropping behind, the rider, quick missed, 
 Was sought and found upon the sick-list. 
 
LXXXVI 
 
 WHEN Love conquered Pan, and put him to 
 
 flight, 
 
 The nymphs of Arcadia laughed with delight ; 
 And dryads and nereids, dancing for joy, 
 Expressed in gay pantomime thanks to the Boy. 
 
LXXXVII 
 
 HARRY loved a pretty maid, 
 Fickle-hearted, I 'm afraid ; 
 For, to each impassioned sigh, 
 " Hal, sigh on ! " was her reply. 
 
 1 Perque dies placidos, hiberno tempore, septem 
 Incubat Halcyons pendentibus aequore nidis." 
 Ovid. II. xi, 382. 
 
LXXXVIII 
 
 THE last of Ilium's sad reverses, 
 The cause of toper's zigzag track, 
 
 The history of our empty purses, 
 The fate of odalisques, alack ! 
 
 Epitomized in Shakespeare's verse, is 
 " Intolerable deal of sack." 
 
 What many a marriage has undone, 
 What brings dark days to every one,- 
 
 Except the straight Republican, 
 Is non-arrival of the son. 
 
 Before she felt the conqueror's hand 
 Old England was a Saxon land. 
 
LXXXIX 
 
 UP and down the fireflies flew 
 On bank of wild thyme wet with dew, 
 While Puck, and Moth, and Cobweb there, 
 The fairies' banquet did prepare. 
 
xc 
 
 THE asp in Cleopatra's breast 
 Stung the unhappy queen to rest, 
 And every eye confessed a tear, 
 When Death laid Beauty on the bier ; 
 The \rate Furies turned to stone 
 Octavius Caesar's heart alone. 
 
 The " spirit " on which England frowned 
 In each New England home is found, 
 Though long repressed by British art, 
 It breathes in every Yankee heart ; 
 Exiles exasperate and distressed 
 Columbia welcomes to her breast. 
 
XCI 
 
 WHEN Don Huidizo ran away 
 
 From Zama, on that fatal day, 
 
 A stain obscured his bright escutcheon, 
 
 With blazoned pall and fesse and such on. 
 
 Some say its field of gules was dim-me'd ; 
 
 The scroll new written, Don el Timid ! " 
 
 But the knight's lady, good and handsome, 
 Quickly gained Huidizo's ransom. 
 
XCII 
 
 YOUR staring cad is pretty bad, 
 And mus is quite ridiculous; 
 
 But Cadmus draggin' teeth ! Egad ! 
 Beats Diodorus Siculus. 
 
XCIII 
 
 St quis amator feels oppressed 
 
 Sub frigore puellae, 
 Confiteatur his unrest, 
 
 Et dulcior she than melle. 
 
 The Christian interest in the Lenten fast 
 From a crude principal of penance springs : 
 
 What Jews have lent, as principal is classed, 
 And accrued interest, quite as fast, it brings. 
 
 The solemn stars that watch above ; 
 The oysters you Bostonians love ; 
 The country churchyard's grassy knoll ; 
 And William, strong in self-control, 
 May yet be brought beneath one head, 
 Since all are silent as the dead. 
 
XCIV 
 
 THE doors and windows of their bark 
 Did Japhet, Ham, and Shem lock, 
 
 Then lightly floated Noah's ark, 
 A miracle in hemlock / 
 
 [N. B. Should any gopher this reply, 
 
 And claim the ark was cypress ; 
 Such critics are referred to my 
 Bewitching little typress.] 
 
xcv 
 
 Two pipes make a butt, one butt is a ton. 
 
 " Sure andsutton" 
 It 's a button \ 
 
XCVI 
 
 " ONCE formed a state ? " Sit still my pen! 
 Ha ! No ; but yes, Til risk it, Men. 
 The "guinea's stamp?" What's Bob's reply? 
 Why, " Rank," Burns never would say " die ! " 
 " Spied on a wall ! " An egg ? A plant? 
 Cannon, or can ? No, just a cant. 
 
 Why should we our assistance lend 
 To those who vow they cannot mend ? 
 Time, thought, or money, spend I can't 
 On mumbling Maynooth mendicant. 
 
XCVII 
 
 THE bell bids seamen all beware 
 The bar, or they '11 be stranded there. 
 
 This might be bar belle, I suppose, 
 With tawdry finery, if you chose ; 
 But barbel suits the epicure 
 As well, or better, I am sure. 
 
XCVIII 
 
 ONE 
 
 MID fakirs and dervishes 
 
 Though we may roam, 
 Whatever they mumble, 
 
 There 's no word like " om " / 
 
 TWO 
 
 When friar dined on haunch of buck 
 With Robin Hood, 't was " nip and Tuck ! " 
 
 THREE 
 
 In the days of " 'T was whispered," and " mut- 
 tered in Hell," 
 
 This play upon letters succeeded quite well ; 
 But to-day every baby in Boston would know 
 Just pinch one and see that the answer is O. 
 
 [Did I your I. O. U." espy ? 
 In French I answer, o. u. i.] 
 
FOUR 
 
 A fool finds fortune in a star, 
 Accepts " telepathy " at par, 
 Lets poor impostors read his mind, 
 Sees ghosts, and takes the faith-cure blind, 
 To moon and horseshoe looks for luck, 
 And on " theosophy " is stuck. 
 You know these all are idle fancy 
 " Like gypsies' cards and chiromancy : " 
 And yet, my friend, with little grace 
 Can you deride the Gypsy race, 
 'T wixt them and you small difference, 
 You both find oracles in tense! 
 
 WHOLE 
 
 Breathes there a man with mind so dense 
 As not to read " omnipotence ? " 
 
XCIX 
 
 THE sweetest month in all the year? 
 May, when daffodils appear. 
 But " shortest ? " Shortest just as well, 
 To those who know its mystic spell. 
 
 With her analytic key 
 Gladys, Vassar Ph. D., 
 Strives the secret to unlock 
 Of her specimen of dock : 
 Thinks its inner bark bespeaks 
 Some affinity with leeks ! 
 
 Literary men, I think, 
 
 Find Mtdoc a favorite drink. 
 
CRUSHED by the burden of our verses, 
 Like Issachar between his curses 
 Brave Pegasus has kept the track, 
 Nor thrown the rider from his back. 
 Now, as I finally dismount, 
 And rest by the Pierian fount, 
 One lingering backward glance I throw 
 On the long road that winds below. 
 
 The rambler's progress has been pleasant, 
 
 Disturbed by naught but whirring pheasant; 
 
 Now passing through a silent grove 
 
 Where the dark hemlock towers above; 
 
 Now through a field of asphodel, 
 
 Where fawns grotesque, and dryads dwell. 
 
 Soon as the nightshade did prevail 
 
 I sought yon hamlet in the dale, 
 
 ^guidance of ^farmer's boy 
 
 I found, to my delight and joy, 
 
 The chaplain of the little town 
 
 Superb in kindness, plain in gown. 
 
 Naught of defect or of excess 
 
 Showed in his Saxon friendliness ; 
 
 Discreet he was, yet full of grace, 
 
And perfect candor marked his face. 
 
 A generous banquet soon was spread ; 
 
 No curfew hurried us to bed ; 
 
 We sat till pretty late o'clock, 
 
 With chat, cigars, and old Mtdoc. 
 
 Where is the clap-trap necromancer, 
 
 Or psychist, for our dreams can answer? 
 
 I wonder whether pumpkin pies 
 
 Photograph them in our eyes ; 
 
 Did lobster, clam or barbel smite 
 
 For surfeit of the previous night ? 
 
 Or was the outrage only due 
 
 To bark cinchonian from Peru ? 
 
 No matter ! Shakespeare's " ghastly dreams " 
 
 With the pale moonlight came in streams ; 
 
 (Fair Dian, huntress of the sky, 
 
 Shot shaft o 1 silver from on high ;) 
 
 They danced a quickstep on the door, 
 
 And writhed like reptiles on the floor ; 
 
 Not fearless Ajax could refrain 
 
 From terror, nor with calm disdain 
 
 Regard these phantoms of the brain. 
 
 Jacob may lay him on a stone, 
 
 And try the prowess of a ghost alone, 
 
 But when your thorax in a nightmare sinks 
 
 None o 'er that potentate prevails, methinks ! 
 
 My dream defies the alphabet, 
 
 ' Twas mainly pantomime, and yet 
 
Throughout there ran some tie absurd, 
 Like hyphen in an unknown word. 
 
 Pickwick, with garland on his head, 
 
 Cringed like a mendicant beside my bed ; 
 
 Armed with a forceps which he thrust 
 
 Right at my face ; and I mistrust 
 
 He sought to get a purchase on my nose. 
 
 " Samphire ! " I shrieked, and hastily arose ; 
 
 Bathed in a basin, and put on my clothes. 
 
 I roused the family, all were sleeping fast, 
 
 For roof, and bed, and elegant repast, 
 
 Thanked brother Dusenbury, and set out, 
 
 Chorused by children's voices. What a shout ! 
 
 They numbered 'ten, the youngest (who was teething}, 
 
 Outcried the utmost aspirate of his breathing. 
 
 Through meadows green with smilax and with bay, 
 
 With better luck now I pursued my way, 
 
 I '11 bet a button to a furnace-door 
 
 Old Timon ne'er enjoyed the stillness more : 
 
 Tipcat and chromo to a gold repeater 
 
 Molasses to a schoolgirl ne'er seemed sweeter ; 
 
 Rupee for stipend ne'er was more delightful 
 
 Than morn to me after a night so frightful. 
 
 A robin-bride was ordering her trousseau, 
 
 And Halcyon builded in the bank below. 
 
 A bicyclist flashed by with sudden turn, 
 
 Like wheel of infantry on Bannockburn, 
 
 Or glint of cuirass when it strikes the sun, 
 
Or any other stock criterion; 
 
 As Cadmus, with his gleam of brazen spears, 
 
 Or Tartar lances in long glistening tiers, 
 
 Or Arab warrior on carnage bent, 
 
 " Kismet ! " his cry, " Allah, omnipotent / " 
 
 But now upon my Muse I lay embargo, 
 Unman the windlass, and discharge the cargo, 
 I started out in answering this charade 
 To bring in the whole budget; but I 'm 'fraid 
 That " dogma," " industry " and one or two more, 
 Like "garbage," say, will overlast the humor; 
 Mousetrap and " Moscow " can't be rhymed with 
 
 ease, 
 
 And find me one for " sculpin," if you please ; 
 For all the clothespin's high and merry dance, 
 We '11 have to send him home in ambulance; 
 And, to conclude the game, it grows so late, 
 I '11 check the answers, and declare checkmate / 
 
 Should others follow in our train 
 
 With weary step and aching brain, 
 
 Let them not falter nor retreat 
 
 Until their journey is complete. 
 
 Hearty shall their welcome be, 
 
 Both from Bellamy and me ! 
 
 Should any find the road too rough, 
 
 Charades too intricate or tough, 
 
 Let them not with malice task us, 
 
 Nor, when they 're stuck, say Damn, but ask us / 
 
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