WOLFVILLE 
 DAYS 
 
 LEWIS 
 
WOLFVILLE DAYS 
 
"HANDS UP! 
 
WOLFVILLE DAYS 
 
 By ALFRED HENRY LEWIS 
 
 Author of "Wolfville," "Sandburrs," "Pearls and Swine, "etc. 
 
 With frontispiece by Frederic Remington 
 
 GROSSET & DUNLAP 
 PUBLISHERS : NEW YORK 
 
COPYRIGHT, 1903, 
 By FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPAHY 
 
CHAPTER! 
 The Great Wolfvflte Strike. 
 
 " No, sir, even onder spur an quirt, my mem ry 
 can only canter back to one uprisin of labor in 
 Wolfville ; that was printers." 
 
 At this the Old Cattleman looked unduly saga 
 cious, refreshed himself with a puff or two at his pipe, 
 and all with the air of one who might, did he see fit, 
 consider the grave questions of capital and labor 
 with an ability equal to their solution. His remark 
 was growth of the strike story of some mill work 
 men, told glaringly in the newspaper he held in his 
 hands. 
 
 "Wolfville is not at that time," he continued, 
 " what you-all East would call a swirlin vortex of 
 trade ; still she has her marts. Thar s the copper 
 mines, the Bird Cage Op ry House, the Red Light, 
 the O. K. Restauraw, the Dance Hall, the New York 
 Store an* sinrlar hives of commerce. Which 
 ondoubted the barkeeps is the hardest worked folks 
 in camp, an yet none of em ever goes on the war 
 path for shorter hours or longer pay, so far as I has 
 notice. Barkeeps that a-way is alight-hearted band 
 an cheerful onder their burdens. Once when Old 
 
 248996 
 
2 Wolfville Days* 
 
 Monte brings the stage in late because of some bog- 
 gin down he does over at a quicksand ford in the 
 foothills, a shorthorn who arrives with him as a 
 passenger comes edgin into the Red Light. Bein f 
 it s four o clock in the mornin , the tenderfoot seems 
 amazed at sech activities as faro-bank, an high-ball, 
 said devices bein in full career; to say nothin of 
 the Dance Hall, which Temple of Mirth, as Ham 
 ilton who is proprietor r^arof names it, is whoopin 
 it up across the street. 
 
 " Ain t you open rather late? says the short 
 horn. His tones is apol getic an no offence is took. 
 
 " That s one of them gratefyin things about the 
 Southwest. That temperate region don t go 
 pirootin round strivin to run its brand onto things 
 as insults where none ain t meant. The Southwest 
 ropes only at the intention. You may even go so 
 far as to shoot the wrong gent in a darkened way, 
 an as long as you pulls off the play in a sperit of 
 honesty, an the party plugged don t happen to be 
 a pop lar idol, about the worst you d get would be 
 a caution from the Stranglers to be more acc rate in 
 your feuds, sech is the fairmindedness an toleration 
 of Southwest sentiment. 
 
 " As I suggests, the barkeep, realizin that the 
 stranger s bluff arises from cur osity rather than any 
 notion of what booksports calls * captious criticism, 
 feels no ombrage. 
 
 " What was you-all pleased to remark? retorts 
 the barkeep as he slams his nose-paint where the 
 shorthorn can get action. 
 
The Great Wolfville Strike, 3 
 
 " * Nothin , replies the shorthorn, imbibin of his 
 forty drops, only it sort o looks to my onaccus- 
 tomed eye like this deadfall is open rather late. 
 
 " Which she is some late/ admits the barkeep, 
 as he softly swabs the counter ; which it is some 
 late for night before last, but it s jest the shank of 
 the evenin for to-night. 
 
 " But, as I observes a bit back on the trail, I 
 never do hear of any murmur of resentment on the 
 part of the toilin masses of the town, save in the one 
 instance when that bunch of locoed printers capers 
 out an defies the editor an publisher of the Wolf- 
 ville Coyote, the same bein the daily paper of the 
 outfit. 
 
 " This yere imprint, the Coyote, is done owned an* 
 run by Colonel William Greene Sterett. An I ll 
 pause right yere for the double purpose of takin* a 
 drink an sympathisin with you a whole lot in not 
 knowin* the Colonel. You nacherally ain t as 
 acootely aware of the fact as I be, but you can 
 gamble a bloo stack that not knowin Colonel Ste 
 rett borders on a deeprivation. He is shore wise, 
 the Colonel is, an when it comes to bein fully 
 informed on every p int, from the valyoo of queens- 
 up before the draw to the political effect of the Dec 
 laration of Independence, he s an even break with 
 Doc Peets. An as I ve asserted frequent an I 
 don t pinch down a chip Doc Peets is the finest 
 eddicated sharp in Arizona. 
 
 " We-all will pass up the tale at this crisis, but 
 I ll tell you later about ho\v Colonel Sterett comes 
 
4 Wolfville Days* 
 
 a-weavin into Wolfville that time an* founds the 
 Coyote. It s enough now to know that when these 
 yere printers takes to ghost-dancin that time, the 
 Colonel has been in our midst crowdin hard on the 
 hocks of a year, an is held in high regyard by Old 
 Man Enright, Doc Peets, Jack Moore, Boggs, Tutt, 
 Cherokee Hall, Faro Nell, and other molders of 
 local opinion, an sort o trails in next after Enright 
 an Peets in public esteem. The Colonel is shore 
 listened to an heeded at sech epocks as Wolfville 
 sets down serious to think. 
 
 " Them printers of the Colonel s stampedes them- 
 se fs jest followin the latter s misonderstandin with 
 Huggins, who conducts the Bird Cage Op ry House, 
 an* who as I ve allers maintained, incites them 
 mechanics, private, to rebellion, as a scheme of 
 revenge on the Colonel. The trouble which bears 
 its final froote in this labor uprisin is like this. 
 Huggins, as noted, holds down the Bird Cage Op ry 
 House as manager, an when he s- drunk which, 
 seein that Huggins is a bigger sot than Old Monte, 
 is right along he allows he s a Impressario. 
 Mebby you saveys Impressario, an experiences 
 no difficulty with the same as a term, but Boggs an 
 Tutt goes to the fringe of a gun play dispootin 
 about its meanin* the time Huggins plays it on the 
 camp first as deescriptif of his game. 
 
 " A Impressario is a fiddler, says Boggs ; I cuts 
 the trail of one in the States once, ropes him up, an 
 we has a shore enough time. 
 
 " Sech observations, observes Tutt, to whom 
 
The Great Wolfville Strike* 5 
 
 
 
 Boggs vouchsafes this information, sech observa 
 tions make me tired. They displays the onlimited 
 ability for ignorance of the hooman mind. Boggs, 
 I don t want to be deemed insultin , but you-all 
 oughter go to night-school some ers ontil you learns 
 the roodiments of the American language. 
 
 " When this yere colloquy ensooes, I m away on 
 the spring round-up, an tharfor not present tharat ; 
 but as good a jedge as Jack Moore insists that the 
 remainder of the conversation would have come off 
 in the smoke if he hadn t, in his capacity of mar 
 shal, pulled his six-shooter an invoked Boggs an* 
 Tutt to a ca mer mood. 
 
 " But speakin of this Huggins party, I never 
 likes him. Aside from his bein mostly drunk, 
 which, no matter what some may say or think, I 
 holds impairs a gent s valyoo as a social factor, 
 Huggins is avaricious an dotes on money to the 
 p int of bein sordid. He d gloat over a dollar like 
 it was a charlotte roose, Huggins would. So, as I 
 says, I ain t fond of Huggins, an takes no more 
 pleasure of his company than if he s a wet dog. 
 Still, thar s sech a thing as dooty ; so, when Hug- 
 gins comes wanderin wild-eyed into the Red Light 
 about first drink time one evenin , an confides to 
 me in a whisper that thar s a jack rabbit outside 
 which has sworn to take his life, an is right then 
 bushwhackin about the door waitin to execoote 
 the threat, I calls Doc Peets, an aids in tyin Hug- 
 gins down so that his visions can be met an coped 
 with medical. 
 
6 Wolfviilc Days* 
 
 " Peets rides herd on Huggins for about a week, 
 an at last effects his rescoo from that hostile jack- 
 rabbit an them crimson rattlesnakes an blue-winged 
 bats that has j ined dogs with it in its attempts 
 ag in Huggins. Later, when Peets sends his 
 charges, this yere ingrate Huggins lovin money 
 as I states wants to squar it with a quart or two 
 of whiskey checks on the Bird Cage bar. Nacher- 
 ally, Peets waves aside sech ignoble proffers as in 
 sults to his professional standin . 
 
 " * An you-all don t owe me a splinter, Huggins, 
 says Peets, as he turns down the prop sition to take 
 whiskey checks as his reward. * We ll jest call 
 them services of mine in subdooin your delirium 
 treemors a contreebution. It should shorely be 
 remooneration enough to know that I ve preserved 
 you to the Wolfville public, an that the camp can 
 still boast the possession of the meanest sport an 
 profoundest drunkard outside of the Texas Pan 
 handle. 
 
 " Bar none, Doc Peets is the bitterest gent, ver 
 bal, that ever makes a moccasin track in the South 
 west. An while Huggins ain t pleased none, them 
 strictures has to go. To take to pawin round for 
 turmoil with Peets would be encroachin onto the 
 ediotic. Even if he emerges alive from sech con- 
 troversies an it s four to one he wouldn t ; for 
 Peets, who s allers framed up with a brace of der 
 ringers, is about as vivid an enterprise as Wolfville 
 affords the Stranglers would convene with Old 
 Man Enright in the cha r, an* Huggins wouldn t 
 
The Great ^ oif vtlle Strike. 7 
 
 last as long as a drink of whiskey. As it is, Hug- 
 gins gulps his feelin s an* offers nothin* in return to 
 Peets s remarks. 
 
 " No ; of course Doc Peets ain t that diffusive in 
 his confidences as to go surgin about tellin this 
 story to every gent he meets. It s ag in roole for 
 physicians that a-way to go draggin their lariats 
 round permiscus an impartin all they knows. 
 You-all can see yourse f that if physicians is that 
 ingenuous, it would prodooce all sorts of troubles in 
 the most onlooked-for places an most onexpected 
 forms. No ; Peets wouldn t give way to conduct 
 so onbecomin* a medicine man an a sport. But 
 rooles has their exceptions; an so Peets, in one of 
 them moments of sympathy an* confidence, which 
 two highly eddicated gents after the eighth drink 
 is bound to feel for each other, relates to Colonel 
 Sterett concernin Huggins an his perfidy with 
 them Bird Cage checks. 
 
 " This yere onbosomin of himse f to the Colonel 
 ain t none discreet of Peets. The Colonel has 
 many excellencies, but keepin secrets ain t among 
 em ; none whatever. The Colonel is deevoid of 
 jtalents for secrets, an so the next day he prints 
 his yere outrage onder a derisive headline touchin* 
 Huggins froogality. 
 
 11 Huggins don t grade over-high for nerve an is 
 a long way from bein clean strain game ; but he 
 figgers, so I allers reckons, that the Colonel ain t 
 no thunderbolt of war himse f, so when he reads as 
 to him an* Peets an/ them treemors an the whiskey 
 
 \ 
 
8 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 checks, he starts in to drink an discuss about his 
 honor, an gives it out he ll have revenge. 
 
 " It s the barkeep at the Red Light posts Colonel 
 Sterett as to them perils. A Mexican comes track- 
 in* along into the Colonel s room in the second 
 story what he calls his * sanctum with a note. 
 It s from the barkeep an reads like this : 
 
 RED LIGHT SALOON. 
 DEAR COLONEL: 
 
 Huggins is in here tankin up an makin war med 
 icine. He s packin two guns. He says he s going to plug 
 you for that piece. I can keep him here an hour. Mean 
 while, heel yourse f. I ll have him so drunk by the time he 
 leaves that he ought to be easy. 
 
 Yours sincerely, 
 
 BLACK JACK. 
 
 P. S. Better send over to the Express Company for one 
 of them shot-guns. Buckshot, that a-way, is a cinch ; an if 
 you re a leetle nervous it don t make no difference. 
 
 B. J. 
 
 " About the time the lo-gauge comes over to the 
 Colonel, with the compliments of the Wells-Fargo 
 Express, an twenty shells holdin twenty-one buck 
 shot to the shell, Doc Peets himse f comes sa nterin 
 into the sanctum. 
 
 " You-all ought never to have printed it, Col 
 onel, says Peets; I m plumb chagrined over that 
 exposure of Huggins. 
 
 " Don t you reckon, Doc, says the Colonel, 
 sort o coaxin the play, if you was to go down to 
 the Red Light an say to this inebriated miscreant 
 
The Great Wolfville Strike. 9 
 
 that you makes good, it would steady him down a 
 whole lot ? 
 
 " If I was to take sech steps as you urges, Col- 
 onel, says Peets, * it would come out how I gives 
 away the secrets of my patients ; it would hurt my 
 p sition. On the level ! Colonel, I d a mighty sight 
 sooner you d beef Huggins. 
 
 " But see yere, Doc, remonstrates the Colonel, 
 wipin off the water on his fore ead, murder is new 
 to me, an I shrinks from it. Another thing I 
 don t thirst to do no five or ten years at Leaven- 
 worth for downin Huggins, an all on account of 
 you declinin* whiskey chips as a honorarium for 
 them services. 
 
 " * It ain t no question of Leavenworth, argues 
 Peets ; sech thoughts is figments. Yere show it ll 
 be. Huggins comes chargin up, hungerin for 
 blood. You-all is r ared back yere with that 10- 
 gauge, all organized, an you coldly downs him. 
 Thar ain t no jury, an thar ain t no Vigilance Com 
 mittee, in Arizona, who s goin to carp at that a 
 little bit. Besides, he s that ornery, the game law 
 is out on Huggins an has been for some time. As 
 for any resk to yourse f, personal, from Huggins ; 
 why ! Colonel, you snaps your fingers tharat. You 
 hears Huggins on the stairs ; an you gives him 
 both barrels the second he shows in the door. It s 
 as plain as monte. Before Huggins can declar 
 himse f, Colonel, he s yours, too dead to skin. It s 
 sech a shore thing, concloodes Peets, that, after 
 all, since you re merely out for safety, I d get him 
 
io Wolfville Days* 
 
 in the wing, an let it go at that. Once his arm is 
 gone, it won t be no trouble to reason with Hug- 
 gins. 
 
 " Don t talk to me about no arms/ retorts the 
 Colonel, still moppin his feachers plenty desperate. 
 I ain t goin to do no fancy shootin . If Huggins 
 shows up yere, you can put down a yellow stack on 
 it, I ll bust him where he looks biggest. Huggins 
 is goin to take all the chances of this embroglio. 
 
 " But Huggins never arrives. It s Dan Boggs 
 who abates him an* assoomes the pressure for the 
 Colonel. Boggs is grateful over some compliments 
 the Colonel pays him in the Coyote the week pre 
 vious. It s right in the midst of Huggins prep ra- 
 tions for blood that Boggs happens up on him in 
 the Red Light. 
 
 " See yere, Huggins,* says Boggs, as soon as 
 ever he gets the Impressario s grievance straight in 
 his mind, you-all is followin* off the wrong wagon 
 track. The Colonel ain t your proper prey at all ; 
 it s me. I contreebutes that piece in the Coyote 
 about you playin it low on Peets myse f. 
 
 " Huggins gazes at Boggs an never utters a word ; 
 Boggs is too many for him. 
 
 " Which I m the last sport/ observes Boggs after 
 a pause, * to put a limit on the reecreations or 
 meddle with the picnics of any gent, but this yere 
 voylence of yours, Huggins, has gone too far. I m 
 obleeged to say, tharfore, that onless you aims to 
 furnish the painful spectacle of me bendin a gun 
 over your head, you had better sink into silence an* 
 
The Great "Wolfville Strike. n 
 
 pull your freight. I m a slow, hard team to start, 
 Huggins, says Boggs, but once I goes into the 
 collar, I m irresistible. 
 
 " Huggins don t know much, but he knows Boggs ; 
 an* so, followin Boggs remarks, Huggins ups an 
 ceases to clamor for the Colonel right thar. Lambs 
 is bellig rent compared with Huggins. The bar- 
 keep, in the interests of peace, cuts in on the play 
 with the news that the drinks is on the house, an 
 with that the eepisode comes to a close. 
 
 " Now you-all has most likely begun to marvel 
 where them labor struggles comes buttin* in. We re 
 within ropin distance now. It s not made cl ar, but, 
 as I remarks prior, I allers felt like Huggins is 
 the bug onder the chip when them printers gets 
 hostile that time an leaves the agency. Huggins 
 ain t feeble enough mental to believe for a moment 
 Boggs writes that piece. The fact that Boggs can t 
 even write his own name bein onfortunately 
 wantin utterly in eddication is of itse f enough to 
 breed doubts. Still, I don t ondervalue Huggins 
 none in layin down to Boggs, that time Boggs 
 allows he s the author. With nothin at stake more 
 than a fact, an* no money up nor nothin , he shorely 
 wouldn t be jestified in contendin with a gent of 
 Boggs extravagant impulses, an who is born with 
 the theery that six-shooters is argyments. 
 
 " But, as I was observin , Huggins is no more 
 misled by them bluffs of Boggs than he is likely to 
 give up his thoughts of revenge on the Colonel. 
 Bein headed off from layin for the Colonel direct 
 
12 Wolfville Days. 
 
 for Boggs reminds him at closin that, havin asserted 
 his personal respons bility for that piece, he ll take 
 it as affronts if Huggins persists in goin projectin 
 round for Colonel Sterett thar s no doubt in my 
 mind that Huggins goes to slyin about, an jumpin 
 sideways at them printers on the quiet, an fillin em 
 up with nose-paint an notions that they re wronged 
 in equal quantities. An Huggins gets results. 
 
 " Which the Colonel pays off his five printers 
 every week. It s mebby the second Saturday after 
 the Huggins trouble, an* the Colonel is jest finished 
 measurin up the strings, as he calls em, an dis- 
 bursin the dinero. At the finish, the head-printer 
 stiffens up, an the four others falls back a pace an 
 looks plenty hard. 
 
 " Colonel, says the head-printer, * we-all sends 
 on to the national council, wins out a charter, an 
 organizes ourse fs into a union. You re yereby 
 notified we claims union wages, the same bein 
 forty-five centouse a thousand ems from now ontil 
 further orders. 
 
 " Jim, retorts the Colonel, what you an your 
 noble assistants demands at my hands, goes. From 
 now I pays the union schedoole, the same bein five 
 cents a thousand ems more than former. The 
 Coyote as yet is not se f-supportin ; but that shall 
 not affect this play. I have so far made up deefi- 
 ciencies by draw-poker, which I finds to be fairly 
 soft an certain in this camp, an your su gestions of 
 a raise merely means that I ve got to set up a leetle 
 later in a game, an be a trifle more remorseless on 
 
The Great Wolfville Strike. 13 
 
 a shore hand. Wharfore I yields to your requests 
 with pleasure, as I says prior. 
 
 " It s mighty likely Colonel Sterett acquiesces in 
 them demands too quick ; the printers is led to the 
 thought that he s as simple to work as a Winchester. 
 It s hooman nature to brand as many calves as you 
 can, an so no one s surprised when, two weeks 
 later, them voracious printers comes frontin* up for 
 more. The head-printer stiffens up, an the four 
 others assoomes eyes of iron, same as before, an 
 the pow wow re-opens as follows : 
 
 " Colonel, says the range boss for the printers, 
 while the others stands lookin an listenin like 
 cattle with their y ears all for ard, Colonel, the 
 chapel s had a meetin , an* we-all has decided that 
 you ve got to make back payments at union rates 
 for the last six months, which is when we sends 
 back to the States for that charter. The whole 
 throw is twelve hundred dollars, or two hundred 
 and forty a gent. No one wants to crowd your 
 hand, Colonel, an if you don t jest happen to have 
 said twelve hundred in your war-bags, we allows 
 you one week to jump round an rustle it/ 
 
 " But the Colonel turns out bad, an shows he can 
 protect himse f at printin same as he can at poker. 
 He whirls on them sharps like a mountain lion. 
 
 " Gents/ says the Colonel, * you-all is up ag inst 
 it. I don t care none if the cathedral s had a 
 meetin , I declines to bow to your claims. As I 
 states before, I obtains the money to conduct this 
 yere journal by playin poker. Now I can t play no 
 
14 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 ex post facto poker, nor get in on any reetroactive 
 hands, which of itse f displays your attitoode on 
 this o casion as onjust. What you-all asks is re- 
 foosed. 
 
 " See yere, Colonel,* says the head-printer, be- 
 ginnin* to arch his back like he s goin to buck 
 some, don t put on no spurs to converse with us; 
 an don t think to stampede us none with them Latin 
 bluffs you makes. You either pays union rates 
 since February, or we goes p intin out for a strike. 
 
 " Strike ! says the Colonel, an his tones is de 
 cisive, t strike, says you ! Which if you-all will 
 wait till I gets my coat, I ll strike with you. 
 
 " Tharupon the entire passel, the Colonel an* 
 them five printers, comes over to the Red Light, 
 takes a drink on the Colonel, an disperses themse fs 
 on the strike. Of course Wolfville looks on some 
 amazed at this yere labor movement, but declar s 
 itse f nootral. 
 
 " Let every gent skin his own eel, says Enright ; 
 1 the same bein a fav rite proverb back in Tennessee 
 when I m a yooth. This collision between Colonel 
 Sterett an* them free an* independent printers he 
 has in his herd is shorely what may be called a 
 private game. Thar s no reason an* no call for the 
 camp to be heard. What s your idee, Doc? 
 
 " * I yoonites with you in them statements, says 
 Peets. * While my personal symp thies is with 
 Colonel Sterett in this involvement, as yet the sityoo- 
 ation offers no reason for the public to saddle up an 
 go to ridin round tharin.* 
 
The Great Wolfvilie Strike. 15 
 
 " Don t you-all think/ says Boggs, appealin to 
 Enright, * don t you reckon now if me an Tutt an 
 Jack Moore, all casooal like, was to take our guns 
 an go cuttin up the dust about the moccasins of 
 them malcontent printers merely in our private 
 capacity, I means it would he p solve this yere 
 deadlock a whole lot ? Boggs is a heap headlong 
 that a-way, an likin the Colonel, nacherally he s 
 eager to take his end. 
 
 " Boggs, replies Enright, an his tones is stern 
 to the verge of being ferocious ; Boggs, onless you 
 wants the law-abidin element to hang you in hob 
 bles, you had better hold yourse f in more subjec 
 tion. Moreover, what you proposes is childish. If 
 you was to appear in the midst of this industr al ex 
 citement, an take to romancin round as you su - 
 gests, you d chase every one of these yere printers 
 plumb off the range. Which they d hit a few high 
 places in the landscape an be gone for good. Then 
 the Colonel never could get out that Coyote paper 
 no more. Let the Colonel fill his hand an play it 
 his own way. I ll bet, an* go as far as you like, 
 that if we-all turns our backs on this, an* don t take 
 to pesterin either side, the Colonel has them par 
 ties all back in the corral ag in inside of a week. 
 
 " Old Man Enright is right, same as he ever is. 
 It s about fourth drink time in the evenin of the 
 second day. Colonel Sterett, who s been con- 
 soomin his licker at intervals not too long apart, is 
 seated in the Red Light in a reelaxed mood. He s 
 sayin to Boggs, who has been faithful at his elbow 
 
16 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 from the first, so as to keep up his sperits, that he 
 looks on this strike as affordin* him a much-needed 
 rest. 
 
 " * An from the standpoint of rest, Dan, observes 
 the Colonel to Boggs as the barkeep brings them 
 fresh glasses, I really welcomes this difference 
 with them blacksmiths of mine. I shorely needs 
 this lay-off ; literatoor that a-way, Dan, an partic lar 
 daily paper literatoor of the elevated character I ve 
 been sawin off on this camp in the Coyote, is fa- 
 tiguin to the limit. When them misguided parties 
 surrenders their absurd demands an between us, 
 Dan, I smells Huggins in this an expects to lay for 
 him later tharfor I say, when these obtoose print 
 ers gives up, an* returns to their llegiance, I ll as- 
 soome the tripod like a giant refreshed. 
 
 " * That s whatever ! says Boggs, coincidin with 
 the Colonel, though he ain t none shore as to his 
 drift. 
 
 " I ll be recooperated, continues the Colonel, 
 sloppin out another drink ; l I ll be a new man 
 when I takes hold ag in, an will make the Coyote, 
 ever theleadin medium of the Southwest, as strong 
 an invincible as four kings an a ace. 
 
 " It s at this p int the five who s on the warpath 
 comes into the Red Light. The head-printer, 
 lookin apol getic an* dejected, j ins Boggs an the 
 Colonel where they sits. 
 
 " Colonel, observes the head-printer, * the 
 chapel s had another meetin ; an the short an the 
 long is, the boys kind o rigger they re onjust in 
 
The Great Wolfville Strike. 17 
 
 them demands for back pay sort o overplays their 
 hands. They ve decided, Colonel, that you re dead 
 right ; an I m yere now to say we re sorry, an* we ll 
 all go back an* open up an* get the Coyote out ag in 
 in old-time form. 
 
 " Have a drink, Jim, says the Colonel, an his 
 face has a cloud of regrets onto it ; take four fingers 
 of this red-eye an cheer up. You-all assoomes too 
 sombre a view of this contention. 
 
 " I m obleeged to you, Colonel, replies the head- 
 printer ; but I don t much care to drink none be 
 fore the boys. They ain t got no bank-roll an no 
 credit like you has, Colonel that s what makes 
 them see their errors an the plain trooth is they 
 ain t had nothin to drink for twenty-four hours. 
 That s why I don t take nothin . It would shore 
 seem invidious for me to be settin yere h istin in 
 my nose-paint, an my pore comrades lookin he p- 
 lessly on; that s whatever! I m too much a friend 
 of labor to do it, Colonel. 
 
 " What! says Boggs, quite wrought up; do 
 you-all mean to tell me them onhappy sports 
 ain t had a drink since yesterday? It s a stain on 
 the camp ! Whoopee, barkeep ! see what them 
 gents will have ; an keep seein what they ll have 
 endoorin this conference. 
 
 " Jim, says the Colonel, mighty reluctant, 
 1 ain t you-all abandonin your p sition prematoor? 
 Thar s somethin doo to a principle, Jim. I d 
 rather looked for a continyooation of this estrange 
 ment for a while at least. I d shore take time to 
 consider it before ever I d let this strike c llapse. 
 
1 8 Wolfville Days, 
 
 " That s all right, Colonel, says the head-printer, 
 about c llapsin ; an I onderstands your feelin s 
 an symp thises tharwith. But I ve explained to 
 you the financial condition of this movement. 
 Thar stands the boys, pourin in the first fire-water 
 that has passed their lips for a day. An* you 
 knows, Colonel, no gent, nor set of gents, can 
 conduct strikes to a successful issue without 
 whiskey. 
 
 " But, Jim, pleads the Colonel, who hates to 
 come off his vacation, if I fixes the Red Light 
 say for fifteen drinks all round each day, don t 
 you reckon you can prevail on them recalcitrant 
 printers to put this reeconciliation off a week? 
 
 " However, Enright, who at this p int comes 
 trailin in, takes up the head-printer s side, an* 
 shows the Colonel it s his dooty. 
 
 " You owes it to the Wolfville public, 
 Colonel/ says Enright. The Coyote has now been 
 suppressed two days. We-all has been deprived 
 of our daily enlightenment an our intellects is 
 boggin down. For two entire days Wolfville has 
 been in darkness as to worldly events, an is right 
 now knockin round in the problem of existence 
 like a blind dog in a meat shop. Your attitoode 
 of delay, Colonel, is impossible ; the public requests 
 your return. If you ain t back at the Coyote 
 office to-morry mornin by second drink time, 
 dealin your wonted game, I wouldn t ondertake 
 to state what shape a jest pop lar resentment will 
 assoome. 
 
The Great Wolfville Strike* 19 
 
 " * An , of course/ observes the Colonel with a 
 sigh, when you-all puts it in that loocid an 
 convincin way, Enright, thar s no more to be 
 said. The strike is now over an the last kyard 
 dealt. Jim, you an me an them printers will 
 return to the vineyard of our efforts. This over 
 work may be onderminin me, but Wolfville shall 
 not call to me in vain. 
 
CHAPTER. JL 
 The Grinding of Dave Tutt, 
 
 "YES," said the Old Cattleman, as he took off 
 his sombrero and contemplated the rattlesnake 
 band which environed the crown, " cow-punchers 
 is queer people. They needs a heap of watchin 
 an herdin . I knowed one by the name of 
 Stevenson down on the Turkey Track, as merits 
 plenty of lookin* after. This yere Stevenson 
 ain t exactly ornery ; but bein restless, an with a 
 disp sition to be emphatic whenever he s fillin 
 himse f up, keepin your eye on him is good, safe 
 jedgment. He is public-sperited, too, an some 
 times takes lots of pains to please folks an* be 
 pop lar. 
 
 " I recalls once when we re bringin up a beef 
 herd from the Panhandle country. We re ag in 
 the south bank of the Arkansaw, tryin to throw 
 the herd across. Thar s a bridge, but the natifs 
 allows it s plenty weak, so we re makin* the herd 
 swim. Steve is posted at the mouth of the bridge, 
 to turn back any loose cattle that takes a notion to 
 try an cross that a-way. Thar s nothin much to 
 
The Grinding; of Dave Tutt, 21 
 
 engage Steve s faculties, an* he s a-settin on his 
 bronco, an both is mighty near asleep. Some 
 women people from the far East, I reckons as is 
 camped in town, comes over on the bridge to see 
 us cross the herd. They ve lined out clost up 
 to Steve, a-leanin of their young Eastern chins on 
 the top rail. 
 
 " Which I don t regyard this much/ says one 
 young woman j thar s no thrill into it. Whyever 
 don t they do somethiri excitin ? 
 
 " Steve observes with chagrin that this yere lady 
 is displeased ; an , as he can t rigger nothin else 
 out quick to entertain her, he gives a whoop, slams 
 his six-shooter off into the scenery, socks his spurs 
 into the pony, an hops himse f over the side of the 
 bridge a whole lot into the shallow water below. 
 The jump is some twenty feet an busts the pony s 
 laigs like toothpicks ; also it breaks Steve s collar 
 bone an disperses his feachers round some free an 
 frightful on account of his sort o lightin* on his 
 face. 
 
 " Well, we shoots the pony : an Steve rides in 
 the grub wagon four or five days recooperatin . 
 It s jest the mercy of hell he don t break his neck. 
 
 " Whatever do you jump off for? I asks Steve 
 when he s comin round. 
 
 " Which I performs said equestrianisms to 
 amoose that she-shorthorn who is cussin us out, 
 says Steve * I ain t permittin for her to go back 
 to the States, malignin of us cow-men/ 
 
 " Steve gets himse f downed a year after, an* 
 
22 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 strikes out for new ranges in the skies. He s over 
 on the upper Red River when he gets creased. 
 He s settin into a poker game. 
 
 " Steve never oughter gambled none. He is a 
 good cow-boy splendid round-up hand an can do 
 his day s work with rope or iron in a brandin pen 
 with anybody ; but comin* right to cases, he 
 don t know no more about playin* poker than he 
 does about preachin . Actooally, he d back two 
 pa r like thar s no record of their bein* beat. This 
 yere, of course, leads to frequent poverty, but it 
 don t confer no wisdom on Steve. 
 
 " On this o casion, when they ships Steve for the 
 realms of light, one of the boys gets a trey-full ; 
 Steve being possessed of a heart flush, nine at the 
 head. In two minutes he don t have even his 
 blankets left. 
 
 44 After he s broke, Steve h ists in a drink or two 
 an* sours round a whole lot ; an jest as the trey- 
 full boy gets into his saddle, Steve comes roamin 
 along up an hails him. 
 
 " * Pard, says Steve, a heap gloomy, I ve been 
 tryin to school myse f to b ar it, but it don t go. 
 Tharfore, I m yere to say you steals that pa r of 
 kings as completed my rooin. Comin to them de 
 cisions, I m goin to call on you for that bric-a-brac 
 I lose, an I looks to gain some fav rable replies. 
 
 " * Oh, you do, do you ! says the trey-full boy. 
 Which you-all is a heap too sanguine. Do you 
 reckon I gives up the frootes of a trey-full as 
 hard a hand to hold as that is? You can go ten to 
 
The Grinding of Dave Tutt. 23 
 
 one I won t : not this round-up ! Sech requests is 
 preepost rous ! 
 
 " Don t wax flippant about this yere robbery, 
 says Steve. It s enough to be plundered without 
 bein insulted by gayeties. Now, what I says is 
 this: Either I gets my stuff, or I severs our relations 
 with a gun/ An tharupon Steve pulls his pistol an 
 takes hold of the trey-full boy s bridle. 
 
 " If thar s one thing makes me more weary than 
 another, says the trey-full boy, l it s a gun play ; 
 an to avoid sech exhibitions I freely returns your 
 plunder. But you an* me don t play kyards no 
 more. 
 
 " Whereupon, the trey-full boy gets off his hoss, 
 an Steve, allowin the debate is closed, puts up his 
 gun. Steve is preematoor. The next second, 
 bang! goes the trey-full boy s six-shooter, the 
 bullet gets Steve in the neck, with them heavenly 
 results I yeretofore onfolds, an at first drink time 
 that evenin we has a hasty but successful fooneral. 
 
 " I don t reckon, says Wat Peacock, who is 
 range boss, thar s need of havin any law-suits 
 about this yere killirT. I knows Steve for long an 
 likes him. But I m yere to announce that them 
 idees he fosters concernin the valyoo of poker 
 hands, onreasonable an plumb extrav gant as they 
 shorely is, absolootely preeclooded Steve s reachin 
 to old age. An Steve has warnin s. Once when he 
 tries to get his life insured down in Austin, he s re- 
 foosed. 
 
 " " In a five-hand game, table stakes, what is a 
 
24 Wolfvillc Days, 
 
 pair of aces worth before the draw ? " is one of them 
 questions that company asks. 
 
 " " Table stakes ? " says Steve. " Every chip 
 you ve got." 
 
 " " That settles it," says the company ; " we 
 don t want no sech resk. Thar never is sech reck 
 lessness ! You won t live a year ; you re lucky to be 
 alive right now." An they declines to insure Steve. 
 
 " However," continued my friend musingly, 
 " I ve been puttin it up to myself, that mighty 
 likely I does wrong to tell you these yere tales. 
 Which you re ignorant of cow folks, an* for me to 
 go onloadin of sech revelations mebby gives you 
 impressions that s a lot erroneous. Now I reckons 
 from that one eepisode you half figgers cow people 
 is morose an ferocious as a bunch?" 
 
 As the old gentleman gave his tones the in 
 flection of inquiry, I hastened to interpose divers 
 flattering denials. His recitals had inspired an ad 
 miration for cow men rather than the reverse. 
 
 This setting forth of my approval pleased him. 
 He gave me his word that I in no sort assumed too 
 much in the matter. Cow men, he asserted, were 
 a light-hearted brood ; over-cheerful, perhaps, at 
 times, and seeking amusement in ways beyond the 
 understanding of the East ; but safe, upright, 
 and of splendid generosity. Eager to correct 
 within me any mal-effects of the tragedy just told, 
 he recalled the story of a Tucson day of merry re 
 laxation with Dave Tutt. He opined that it fur 
 nished a picture of the people of cows in lighter, 
 
The Grinding: of Dave Tutt. 25 
 
 brighter colors, and so gave me details with a 
 sketchy gladness. 
 
 " Which you re acc rate in them thoughts," he 
 said, referring to my word that I held cow folk to 
 be engaging characters. After elevating his spirit 
 with a clove, he went forward. " Thar ain t much 
 paw an* bellow to a cowboy. Speakin* gen ral, an* 
 not allowin* for them inflooences which disturbs none 
 I adverts to mescal an monte, an* sech abnormal 
 ities he s passive an* easy ; no more harm into him 
 than a jack rabbit. 
 
 " Of course he has his moods to be merry, an* 
 mebby thar s hours when he s gay to the p int of 
 over-play. But his heart s as straight as a rifle bar l 
 every time. 
 
 " It s a day I puts in with Dave Tutt which makes 
 what these yere law-sharps calls a case in p int/ 
 an which I relates without reserve. It gives you 
 some notion of how a cowboy, havin a leesure 
 hour, onbuckles an is happy nacheral. 
 
 " This yere is prior to Dave weddin Tucson 
 Jennie. I m pirootin round Tucson with Dave at 
 the time, Dave s workin a small bunch of cattle, 
 way over near the Cow Springs, an is in Tucson 
 for a rest. We ve been sloshin round the Oriental 
 all day, findin new virchoos in the whiskey, an* 
 amoosin ourse fs at our own expense, when about 
 fifth drink time in the evenin Dave allows he s 
 some sick of sech revels, an concloods he ll p int 
 out among the dobys, sort o explorin things up a 
 lot. Which we tharupon goes in concert. 
 
26 "Woifville Days* 
 
 " I ain t frothin at the mouth none to go myse f, 
 not seein reelaxation in pokin about permiscus 
 among a passel of Mexicans, an me loathin* of em 
 from birth ; but I goes, aimin* to ride herd on 
 Dave. Which his disp sition is some free an* va 
 rious ; an bein among Mexicans, that a-way, he s 
 liable to mix himse f into trouble. Not that Dave 
 is bad, none whatever ; but bein seven or eight 
 drinks winner, an of that Oriental whiskey, too, it 
 broadens him an makes him feel friendly, an de- 
 loodes him into claimin acquaintance with people 
 he never does know, an refoosin* to onderstand 
 how they shows symptoms of doubt. So we capers 
 along ; Dave warblin The Death of Sam Bass in 
 the coyote key. 
 
 "The sefioras an sefioritas, hearin* the row, 
 would look out an smile, an Dave would wave his 
 big hat an whoop from glee. If he starts toward 
 em, aimin for a powwow which he does frequent, 
 bein a mighty amiable gent that a-way they car- 
 ols forth a squawk immediate an shets the door. 
 Dave goes on. Mebby he gives the door a kick or 
 two, a-proclaimin of his discontent. 
 
 " All at once, while we re prowlin up one of 
 them spacious alleys a Mexican thinks is a street, 
 we comes up on a Eytalian with a music outfit 
 which he s grindin . This yere music ain t so bad, 
 an* I hears a heap worse strains. As soon as Dave 
 sees him he tries to rigger on a dance, but the local 
 talent declines to dance with him. 
 
 " In which event, says Dave, I plays a lone 
 hand/ 
 
The Grinding of Dave Tutt. 27 
 
 " So Dave puts up a small dance, like a Navajo, 
 accompanyin of himse f with outcries same as a 
 Injun. But the Eytalian don t play Dave s kind of 
 music, an the baile comes to a halt. 
 
 " Whatever is the matter with this yere tune-i 
 box, anyhow ? says Dave. Gimme the music* 
 for a green-corn dance, an don t make no delay. 
 
 " * This yere gent can t play no green-corn dance, 
 I says. 
 
 " He can t, can t he? says Dave ; wait till he 
 ropes at it once. I knows this gent of yore. I 
 meets him two years ago in El Paso ; which me an 
 him shorely shakes up that village. 1 
 
 " Whatever is his name, then ? I asks. 
 
 " Antonio Marino, says the Eytalian. 
 
 " Merino ? says Dave ; that s right. I recalls 
 it, cause it makes me think at the jump he s a 
 sheep man, an I gets plumb hostile. 
 
 " * I never sees you, says the Eytalian. 
 
 " Yes you do, says Dave ; you jest think you 
 didn t see me. We drinks together, an goes out 
 an* shoots up the camp, arm an arm. 
 
 " But the Eytalian insists he never meets Dave. 
 This makes Dave ugly a lot, an before I gets to 
 butt in an stop it, he outs with his six-shooter, an 
 puts a hole into the music-box. 
 
 " These yere tunes I hears so far, says Dave, 
 is too frivolous ; I riggers that oughter sober em 
 down a whole lot. 
 
 " When Dave shoots, the Eytalian party heaves 
 the strap of his hewgag over his head, an flies. 
 
28 Wolfville Days. 
 
 Dave grabs the music-box, keepin it from fallin , 
 an then begins turnin the crank to try it. It 
 plays all right, only every now an then thar s a 
 hole into the melody like it s lost a tooth. 
 
 " This yere s good enough for a dog ! says 
 Dave, a-twistin* away on the handle. Where s 
 this yere Merino ? Whatever is the matter with 
 that shorthorn ? Why don t he stand his hand ? 
 
 " But Merino ain t noomerous no more ; so Dave 
 allows it s a shame to let it go that a-way, an Mex 
 icans sufTerin for melody. With that he straps on 
 the tune-box, an roams round from one doby to 
 another, turnin it loose. 
 
 " How long does Merino deal his tunes/ says 
 Dave, * before he c llects? However, I makes new 
 rooles for the game, right yere. I plays these 
 cadences five minutes; an then I gets action on 
 em for five. I splits even with these Mexicans, 
 which is shorely fair. 
 
 " So Dave twists away for five minutes, an me 
 a-timin of him, an then leans the hewgag up ag in 
 a doby, an starts in to make a round-up. He ll 
 tackle a household, sort o terrorism at em with 
 his gun ; an tharupon the members gets that gen 
 erous they even negotiates loans an thrusts them 
 proceeds on Dave. That s right ; they re that am- 
 bitious to donate. 
 
 " One time he runs up on a band of tenderfeet f 
 who s skallyhootin round ; an they comes up an* 
 bends their y ears a-while. They re turnin to g* 
 jest before c llectin time. 
 
The Grinding of Dave Tutt* 29 
 
 " Hold on, says Dave, pickin up his Colt s 
 offen the top of the hewgag; don t get cold feet. 
 Which I ve seen people turn that kyard in church, 
 but you bet you don t jump no game of mine that 
 a-way. You-all line up ag in the wall thar ontil I 
 tucks the blankets in on this yere outbreak in F 
 flat, an I ll be with you. 
 
 " When Dave winds up, he goes along the line of 
 them tremblin towerists, an they contreebutes 
 leven dollars. 
 
 " l They aims to go stampedin off with them 
 nocturnes, an peggios, an* arias, an never say 
 nothin , says Dave ; but they can t work no twist 
 like that, an me a-ridin herd ; none whatever. 
 
 " Dave carries on sim lar for three hours ; an 
 what on splits, an what on bets he wins, he s over 
 a hundred dollars ahead. But at last he s plumb 
 fatigued, an allows he ll quit an call it a day. So 
 he packs the tom-tom down to Franklin s office. 
 Franklin is marshal of Tucson, an Dave turns over 
 the layout an the money, an tells Franklin to 
 round up Merino an enrich him tharwith. 
 
 " * Where is this yere Dago ? says Franklin. 
 
 " * However do I know ? says Dave. * Last I 
 notes of him, he s canterin off among the scenery 
 like antelopes. 
 
 " It s at this p int Merino comes to view. He 
 starts in to be a heap dejected about that bullet ; 
 but when he gets Dave s donation that a-way, his 
 hopes revives. He begins to regyard it as a heap 
 good scheme. 
 
30 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " But you ll have to cirkle up to the alcalde, 
 Tutt, says Franklin. I ain t shore none you ain t 
 been breakin some law.* 
 
 " Dave grumbles, an allows Tucson is gettin a 
 heap too staid for him. 
 
 " It s gettin* so,* says Dave, a free American 
 citizen don t obtain no encouragements. Yere I 
 puts in half a day, amassin wealth for a foreign 
 gent who is settin in bad luck ; an* elevatin Mexicans, 
 who shorely needs it, an for a finish I m laid for by 
 the marshal like a felon. 
 
 " Well, we-all goes surgin over to the alcalde s. 
 Franklin, Dave an* the alcalde does a heap of 
 pokin about to see whatever crimes, if any, Dave s 
 done. Which they gets by the capture of the 
 hewgag, an shootin* that bullet into its bowels don t 
 bother em a bit. Even Dave s standin* up them 
 towerists, an* the rapine that ensoos don t worry 
 em none ; but the question of the music itse f sets 
 the alcalde to buckin*. 
 
 " I m shorely depressed to say it, Dave, says 
 the alcalde, who is a sport named Steele, * but 
 you ve been a-bustin* of ord nances about playin* 
 music on the street without no license.* 
 
 " * Can t we-all beat the game no way ? * says 
 Dave. 
 
 " Which I shorely don t see how,* says the 
 alcalde. 
 
 " Nor me neither, says Franklin. 
 
 " Whatever is the matter with counter-brandin 
 them tunes over to Merino s license? says Dave. 
 
The Grinding of Dave Tutt. 31 
 
 " 4 Can t do it nohow/ says the alcalde. 
 
 " l Well, is this yere ord nance accordin to Hoyle 
 an the Declaration of Independence? says Dave. 
 I don t stand it none onless. 
 
 " Shore ! says the alcalde. 
 
 " Ante an* pass the buck, then, says Dave. 
 I m a law-abidin citizen, an all I wants is a squar 
 deal from the warm deck. 
 
 " So they fines Dave fifty dollars for playin them 
 harmonies without no license. Dave asks me later 
 not to mention this yere outcome in Wolfville, an 1 
 I never does. But yere it s different." 
 
CHAPTER IH. 
 The Feud of Pickles. 
 
 "THAR S a big crowd in Wolfville that June 
 day. " The Old Cattleman tilted his chair back and 
 challenged my interest with his eye. " The corrals 
 is full of pack mules an bull teams an wagon- 
 trains ; an white men, Mexicans, half-breeds an* 
 Injuns is a-mixin an meanderin round, a-lyin an* 
 a-laughin an a-drinkin of Red Light whiskey mighty 
 profuse. Four or five mule skinners has their long 
 limber sixteen-foot whips, which is loaded with dust- 
 shot from butt to tip, an is crackin of em at a mark. 
 I ve seen one of these yere mule experts with the 
 most easy, delicate, delib rate twist of the wrist 
 make his whip squirm in the air like a hurt snake; 
 an* then he ll straighten it out with the crack 
 of twenty rifles, an the buckskin popper cuts a 
 hole in a loose buffalo robe he s hung up ; an all 
 without investin two ounces of actooal strength. 
 Several of us Wolfville gents is on the sidewalk in 
 front of the O. K. Restauraw, applaudin of the 
 good shots, when Dave Tutt speaks up to Jack 
 Moore, next to me, an says : 
 
 " Jack, you minds that old Navajo you downs 
 over on the San Simon last Fall ? 
 
 " I minds him mighty cl ar, says Jack. * He s 
 
The Feud of Pickles* 33 
 
 stealin* my Alizan boss at the time, an I can prove 
 it by his skelp on my bridle now. 
 
 " Well, says Dave, p intin to a ornery, saddle- 
 colored half-breed who s makin himse f some 
 frequent, that Injun they calls " Pickles " is his 
 nephy, an you wants to look out a whole lot. I hears 
 him allow that the killin of his relatif is mighty 
 rank, an that he don t like it nohow/ 
 
 " That s all right, says Jack; Pickles an* me 
 has been keepin cases on each other an hour; an 
 I ll post you-all private, if he goes to play hoss a 
 little bit, him an his oncle will be able to talk 
 things over before night. 
 
 " Which it s mighty soon when Pickles comes 
 along where we be. 
 
 " Hello, Jack, he says, an his manner is 
 insultin ; been makin it smoky down on the old 
 San Simon lately ? 
 
 " No ; not since last fall, says Jack, plenty 
 light an* free ; an now I thinks of it, I b lieves I 
 sees that Navajo hoss-thief of an oncle of yours 
 when I m down thar last. I ain t run up on him 
 none lately, though. Where do you-all reckon he s 
 done loped to ? 
 
 " Can t say, myse f, says Pickles, with a kind o 
 wicked cheerfulness ; our fam ly has a round-up of 
 itse f over on B ar Creek last spring, an I don t 
 count his nose among em none. Mebby he has an 
 engagement, an can t get thar. Mebby he s out 
 squanderin round in the high grass some ers. 
 Great man to go round permiscus, that Injun is, 
 
34 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " You see, says Jack, I don t know but he 
 might be dead. Which the time I speaks of, I m 
 settin in camp one day. Something attracts me, 
 an I happens to lookup, an that s my hoss, Alizan, 
 with a perfect stranger on him, pitchin an buckin , 
 an it looks like he s goin to cripple that stranger 
 shore. Pickles, you knows me ! I d lose two 
 hosses rather than have a gent I don t know none 
 get hurt. So I grabs my Winchester an allows to 
 kill Alizan. But it s a new gun ; an you know what 
 new sights is coarse as sandburrs ; you could drag 
 a dog through em an I holds too high. I fetches 
 the stranger, " bang ! " right back of his left y ear, 
 an* the bullet comes outen his right y ear. You 
 can bet the limit, I never am so displeased with my 
 shootin . The idee of me holdin four foot too high 
 in a hundred yards ! I never is that embarrassed ! 
 I m so plumb disgusted an ashamed, I don t go 
 near that equestrian stranger till after I finishes my 
 grub. Alizan, he comes up all shiverin an sweatin* 
 an* stands thar; an mebby in a hour or so I strolls 
 out to the deceased. It shorely wearies me a whole 
 lot when I sees him ; he s nothin but a common Dig 
 ger buck. You can drink on it if I ain t relieved. 
 Bein a no-account Injun, of course, I don t paw 
 him over much for brands ; but do you know, Pick 
 les, from the casooal glance I gives, it strikes me at 
 the time it s mighty likely to be your oncle. This 
 old bronco fancier s skelp is over on my bridle, if 
 you thinks you d know it. 
 
 " * No/ says Pickles, mighty onconcerned, it 
 
The Feud of Pickles* 35 
 
 \ 
 
 can t be my oncle nohow. If he s one of my fam ly, 
 it would be your ha r on his bridle. It must be 
 some old shorthorn of a Mohaveyou downs. Let s 
 all take a drink on it. 
 
 " So we-all goes weavin over to the Red Light, 
 Jack an Pickles surveyin each other close an 
 interested, that a-way, an the rest of us on the 
 quee vee, to go swarmin out of range if they takes 
 to shootin . 
 
 " It s shore sad to part with friends, says Pickles, 
 as he secretes his nose-paint, * but jest the same I 
 must saddle an stampede out of yere. I wants to 
 see that old villyun, Tom Cooke, an I don t reckon 
 none I ll find him any this side of Prescott, neither. 
 Be you thinkin of leavin camp yourse f, Jack ? 
 
 " I don t put it up I ll leave fora longtime, says 
 Jack. * Mebby not for a month mebby it s even 
 years before I go wanderin off so don t go to 
 makin no friendly, quiet waits for me nowhere 
 along the route, Pickles, cause you d most likely 
 run out of water or chuck or something before ever 
 I trails up. 
 
 " It ain t long when Pickles saddles up an* comes 
 chargin round on his little buckskin hoss. Pickles 
 takes to cuttin all manner of tricks, reachin for 
 things on the ground, snatchin off Mexicans hats, 
 an jumpin his pony over wagon tongues an camp 
 fixin s. All the time he s whoopin* an yellin an 
 carryin on, an havin a high time all by himse f. 
 Which you can see he s gettin up his blood an 
 nerve, reg lar Injun fashion. 
 
36 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 " Next he takes down his rope an goes to whirlin* 
 that. Two or three times he comes flashin by 
 where we be, an I looks to see him make a try at 
 Jack. But he s too far back, or thar s too many 
 round Jack, or Pickles can t get the distance, or 
 something; for he don t throw it none, but jest 
 keeps yellin an ridin* louder an faster. Pickles 
 shorely puts up a heap of riot that a-way ! It s now 
 that Enright calls to Pickles. 
 
 " Look yere, Pickles, he says, * I ve passed the 
 word to the five best guns in camp to curl you up 
 if you pitch that rope once. Bein* as the news 
 concerns you, personal, I allows it s nothin more n 
 friendly to tell you. Then ag in, I don t like to 
 lose the Red Light sech a customer like you till it s 
 a plumb case of crowd. 
 
 " When Enright vouchsafes this warnin , Pickles 
 swings down an leaves his pony standin , an* comes 
 over. 
 
 " Do you know, Jack, he says, I don t like the 
 onrespectful tones wherein you talks of Injuns. I m 
 Injun, part, myse f, an I don t like it. 
 
 " No? says Jack; I s pose that s a fact, too. 
 An yet, Pickles, not intendin* nothin personal, for 
 I wouldn t be personal with a prairie dog, I m not 
 only onrespectful of Injuns, an thinks the gov ment 
 ought to pay a bounty for their skelps, but I states 
 beliefs that a hoss-stealin , skulkin mongrel of a 
 half-breed is lower yet ; I holdin he ain t even 
 people ain t nothin , in fact. But to change the 
 subjeck, as well as open an avenoo for another 
 
The Feud of Pickles. 37 
 
 round of drinks, I ll gamble, Pickles, that you-all 
 stole that hoss down thar, an that the " ;K " brand 
 on his shoulder ain t no brand at all, but picked on 
 with the p int of a knife. 
 
 " When Jack puts it all over Pickles that a-way, 
 we looks for shootin shore. But Pickles can t 
 steady himse f on the call. He s like ponies I ve met. 
 He ll ride right at a thing as though he s goin 
 plumb through or over, an at the last second he 
 quits an flinches an weakens. Son, it ain t Pickles 
 fault. Thar ain t no breed of gent but the pure 
 white who can play a desp rate deal down through, 
 an call the turn for life or death at the close; an 
 Pickles, that a-way, is only half white. So he laughs 
 sort o* ugly at Jack s bluff, an allows he orders 
 drinks without no wagers. 
 
 " An then, Jack, he says, I wants you to come 
 feed with me. I ll have Missis Rucker burn us up 
 something right. 
 
 "Til go you, says Jack, if it ain t nothin but 
 salt hoss/ 
 
 " I ll fix you-all folks up a feed, says Missis 
 Rucker, a heap grim, * but you don t do no ban- 
 quetin in no dinin* room of mine. I ll spread 
 your grub in the camp-house, t other side the corral, 
 an you-all can then be as sociable an smoky as you 
 please. Which you ll be alone over thar, an can 
 conduct thereepast in any fashion to suit yourse fs. 
 But you don t get into the dinin room reg lar, an 
 go to weedin out my boarders accidental, with them 
 feuds of yours. 
 
38 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " After a little, their grub s got ready in the camp 
 house. It s a jo-darter of a feed, with cake, pie, 
 airtights, an the full game, an Jack an Pickles 
 walks over side an side. They goes in alone an 
 shets the door. In about five minutes, thar s some 
 emphatic remarks by two six-shooters, an* we-all goes 
 chargin to find out. We discovers Jack eatin away 
 all right ; Pickles is the other side, with his head 
 in his tin plate, his intellects runnin* out over his 
 eye. Jack s shore subdooed that savage for all time. 
 
 " It don t look like Pickles is hungry none, says 
 Jack. 
 
 " They both pulls their weepons as they sets 
 down, an puts em in their laps ; but bein bred 
 across, that a-way, Pickles can t stand the strain. 
 He gets nervous an grabs for his gun ; the muzzle 
 catches onder the table-top, an* thar s his bullet all 
 safe in the wood. Jack, bein clean strain American, 
 has better luck, an Pickles is got. Shore, it s right 
 an on the squar ! 
 
 " You sees, says Dan Boggs, this killin s bound 
 to be right from the jump. It comes off by Pickles 
 earnest desire; Jack couldn t refoose. He would 
 have lost both skelp an* standin if he had. Which, 
 however, if this yere limination of Pickles has got 
 to have a name, my idee is to call her a case of 
 self-deestruction on Pickles part, an let it go at 
 that. " 
 
CHAPTER IV* 
 Johnny Florer s Axle Grease* 
 
 IT was the afternoon cool and beautiful. I had 
 been nursing my indolence with a cigar and one of 
 the large arm-chairs which the veranda of the great 
 hotel afforded. Now and then I considered within 
 myself as to the whereabouts of my Old Cattleman, 
 and was in a half humor to hunt him up. Just as 
 my thoughts were hardening into decision in that 
 behalf, a high, wavering note, evidently meant for 
 song, came floating around the corner of the house, 
 from the veranda on the end. The singer was out 
 of range of eye, but I knew him for my aged friend. 
 Thus he gave forth : 
 
 " Dogville, Dogville ! 
 A tavern an a still, 
 That s all thar is in all Dog-ville." 
 
 " How do you feel to-day?" I asked as I took a 
 chair near the venerable musician. " Happy and 
 healthy, I trust ? " 
 
 "Never feels better in my life," responded the 
 Old Cattleman. "If I was to feel any better, I d 
 shorely go an see a doctor." 
 
 " You are a singer, I observe." 
 
40 "Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 " I m melodious nacheral, but I m gettin so I sort 
 o* stumbles in my notes. Shoutin an* singin* 
 round a passel of cattle to keep em from stam- 
 pedin on bad nights has sp iled my voice, that 
 a-way. Thar s nothin so weakenin , vocal, as them 
 efforts in the open air an in the midst of the storms 
 an* the elements. What for a song is that I m 
 renderin ? Son, I learns that ballad long ago, back 
 when I m a boy in old Tennessee. It s writ, word 
 and music, by little Mollie Hines, who lives with 
 her pap, old Homer Hines, over on the Possum 
 Trot. Mollie Hines is shore a poet, an has a 
 mighty sight of fame, local. She s what you-all 
 might call a jo-darter of a poet, Mollie is ; an let 
 anythin touchin or romantic happen anywhere 
 along the Possum Trot, so as to give her a subjeck, 
 an Mollie would be down on it, instanter, like a 
 fallin star. She shorely is a verse maker, an* is 
 known in the Cumberland country as * The Nightin 
 gale of Big Bone Lick. I remembers when a Shy- 
 lock over to the Dudleytown bank forecloses a 
 mortgage on old Homer Hines, an offers his settle 
 ments at public vandue that a-way, how Mollie 
 prances out an pours a poem into the miscreant. 
 Thar s a hundred an leven verses into it, an each 
 one like a bullet outen a Winchester. It goes like 
 this : 
 
 Thar s a word to be uttered to the rich man in his pride. 
 (Which a gent is frequent richest when it s jest before he died !) 
 Thar s a word to be uttered to the hawg a-eatin truck. 
 (Which a hawg is frequent fattest when it s jest before he s 
 stuck ! ) 
 
Johnny Florer s Axle Grease* 4 1 
 
 " Mighty sperited epick, that ! You recalls that 
 English preacher sharp that comes squanderin 
 round the tavern yere for his health about a month 
 ago ? Shore ! I knows you couldn t have over 
 looked no bet like that divine. Well, that night in 
 them parlors, when he reads some rhymes in a book, 
 whatever is that piece he reads ? Locksley Hall ; 
 right you be, son ! As I was sayin , when he s 
 through renderin said Locksley Hall, he comes 
 buttin into a talk with me where I m camped in a 
 corner all cosy as a toad onder a cabbage leaf, ree- 
 coverin myse f with licker from them recitals of 
 his, an he says to me, this parson party does : 
 
 " * Which it s shorely a set-back America has no 
 poets, says he. 
 
 " * It s evident/ I says, that you never hears of 
 Mollie Hines. 
 
 " No, never once, he replies; is this yere Miss 
 Hines a poet ? 
 
 " Is Mollie Hines a poet! I repeats, for my 
 scorn at the mere idee kind o stiffens its knees an 
 takes to buckin some. * Mollie Hines could make 
 that Locksley Hall gent you was readin from, or 
 even the party who writes Watt s Hymns, go to 
 the diskyard. An* then I repeats some forty of 
 them stanzas, whereof that one I jest now recites is 
 a speciment. 
 
 "What does this pulpit gent say? He see I has 
 him cinched, an he s plumb mute. He confines 
 himse f to turnin up his nose in disgust like Bill 
 Storey does when his father-in-law horsewhips him." 
 
42 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 Following this, the Old Cattleman and I wrapped 
 ourselves in thoughtful smoke, for the space of five 
 minutes, as ones who pondered the genius of " The 
 Nightingale of Big Bone Lick" Mollie Hines on 
 the banks of the Possom Trot. At last my friend 
 broke forth with a question. 
 
 " Whoever is them far-off folks you-all was tellin* 
 me is related to Injuns?" 
 
 " The Japanese," I replied. " Undoubtedly the 
 Indians and the Japanese are of the same stock." 
 
 " Which I m foaled like a mule," said the old 
 gentleman, " a complete prey to inborn notions 
 ag in Injuns. I wouldn t have one pesterin round 
 me more n I d eat offen the same plate with a snake. 
 I shore has aversions to em a whole lot. Of course, 
 I never sees them Japs, but I saveys Injuns from 
 feathers to moccasins, an comparin Japs to Injuns, 
 I feels about em like old Bill Rawlins says about 
 his brother Jim s wife." 
 
 " And how was that? " I asked. 
 
 The afternoon was lazy and good, and I in a 
 mood to listen to my rambling grey comrade talk 
 of anybody or anything. 
 
 " It s this a-way," he began. " This yere Bill an* 
 Jim Rawlins is brothers an abides in Roanoke, 
 Virginity. They splits up in their yooth, an Jim 
 goes p intin out for the West. Which he shore 
 gets thar, an nothin is heard of him for forty years. 
 
 "Bill Rawlins, back in Roanoke, waxes a heap 
 rich, an at last cleans up his game an resolves he 
 takes a rest. Also he concloods to travel ; an as 
 
Johnny Florer s Axle Grease, 43 
 
 long as he s goin to travel, he allows he ll sort o go 
 projectin round an see if he can t locate Jim. 
 
 " He gets a old an musty tip about Jim, this Bill 
 Rawlins does, an it works out all right. Bill cuts 
 Jim s trail way out yonder on the Slope at a 
 meetropolis called Los Angeles. But this yere Jim 
 ain t thar none. The folks tells Bill they reckons 
 Jim is over to Virginny City. 
 
 " It s a month later, an Bill is romancin along on 
 one of them Nevada mountain-meadow trails, when 
 he happens upon a low, squatty dugout, the same 
 bein a camp rather than a house, an* belongs with 
 a hay ranche. In the door is standin a most ornery 
 seemin* gent, with long, tangled ha r an beard, an* 
 his clothes looks like he s shorely witnessed times. 
 The hands of this ha ry gent is in his pockets, an 
 he exhibits a mighty soopercilious air. Bill pulls 
 up his cayouse for a powwow. 
 
 " How far is it to a place where I can camp 
 down for the night ? asks Bill. 
 
 " It s about twenty miles to the next wickeyup/ 
 says the soopercilious gent. 
 
 " Which I can t make it none to-night, then/ 
 says Bill. 
 
 " Not on that hoss, says the soopercilious gent, 
 for Bill s pony that a-way is plenty played. 
 
 " Mebby, then, says Bill, I d better bunk in 
 yere. 
 
 " You can gamble you-all don t sleep yere, says 
 the soopercilious gent ; none whatever! 
 
 " An why not ? asks Bill. 
 
44 Woifville Days. 
 
 " Because I won t let you,* says the soopercilious 
 gent, a-bitin off a piece of tobacco. This is my 
 camp, an force ble invasions by casooal hold-ups 
 like you, don t preevail with me a little bit. I 
 resents the introosion on my privacy. 
 
 " But I ll have to sleep on these yere plains, 
 says Bill a heap plaintif. 
 
 " Thar s better sports than you-all slept on them 
 plains, says the soopercilious gent. 
 
 " Meanwhile, thar s a move or two, speshully the 
 way he bats his eyes, about this soopercilious gent 
 that sets Bill to rummagin round in his mem ry. 
 At last he asks : 
 
 " Is your name Rawlins ? 
 
 " Yes, sir, my name s Rawlins, says the sooper 
 cilious gent. 
 
 " 4 Jim Rawlins of Roanoke? 
 
 " Jim Rawlins of Roanoke; an the soopercil 
 ious gent reaches inside the door of the dugout, 
 searches forth a rifle an pumps a cartridge into the 
 bar l. 
 
 " Stan your hand, Jim ! says Bill, at the same 
 time slidin to the ground with the hoss between 
 him an his relatif; don t get impetyoous. I m 
 your brother Bill. 
 
 " What ! says the soopercilious gent, abandonin* 
 them hostile measures, an joy settlin over his face. 
 What ! he says ; * you my brother Bill ? Well, 
 don t that beat grizzly b ars amazin ! Come in, 
 Bill, an rest your hat. Which it s simply the ten 
 derness of hell I don t miss you/ 
 
Johnny Florets Axle Grease* 45 
 
 "Whereupon Bill an Jim tracks along inside an* 
 goes to canvassin up an down as to what ensooes 
 doorin them forty years they ve been parted. Jim 
 wants to know all about Roanoke an how things 
 stacks up in old Virginny, an* he s chuckin* in his 
 questions plenty rapid. 
 
 " While Bill s replying his eye is caught by a 
 frightful-lookin female who goes slyin in an out, 
 a-organizin of some grub. She s the color of a 
 saddle, an Bill can t make out whether she s a 
 white, a Mexican, a Digger Injun or a nigger. An* 
 she s that hideous, this female is, she comes mighty 
 near givin Bill heart failure. Son, you-all can t have 
 no idee how tumble this person looks. She s so 
 ugly the flies won t light on her. Yes, sir ! ugly 
 enough to bring sickness into a fam ly. Bill can 
 feel all sorts o horrors stampedin about in his frame 
 as he gazes on her. Her eyes looks like two bullet 
 holes in a board, an the rest of her feachers is 
 tetotaciously indeescrib ble. Bill s intellects at the 
 awful sight of this yere person almost loses their 
 formation, as army gents would say. At last Bill 
 gets in a question on his rapid-fire relatif, who s 
 shootin him up with queries touchin Roanoke to 
 beat a royal flush. 
 
 " Jim, says Bill, sort o* scared like, whoever is 
 this yere lady who s roamin the scene? 
 
 " Well, thar now! says Jim, like he s plumb 
 disgusted, * I hope my gun may hang fire, if I don t 
 forget to introdooce you ! Bill, that s my wife. 
 
 "Then Jim goes surgin off all spraddled out 
 
46 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 about the noomerous an manifest excellencies of 
 this female, an holds forth alarmin of an concernin 
 her virchoos an loveliness of face an* form, an all 
 to seen a scand lous degree, Bill has to step out 
 doors to blush. 
 
 " An , Bill, goes on Jim, an he s plumb raptu 
 rous, that a-way, may I never hold three of a kind 
 ag in, if she ain t got a sister who s as much like 
 her as two ^oker chips. I m co tin both of em 
 mighty near four years before ever I can make up 
 my mind whichever of em I needs. They re both 
 so absolootely sim lar for beauty, an both that 
 aloorin to the heart, I simply can t tell how to set 
 my stack down. At last, after four years, I ups an 
 cuts the kyards for it, an wins out this one. 
 
 " Well, Jim, says Bill, who s been settin thar 
 shudderin through them rhapsodies, an now an 
 then gettin a glimpse of this yere female with the 
 tail of his eye: Well, Jim, far be it from me, an* 
 me your brother, to go avouchin* views to make 
 you feel doobious of your choice. But candor s 
 got the drop on me an compels me to speak my 
 thoughts. I never sees this sister of your wife, Jim, 
 but jest the same, I d a heap sight rather have her. 
 
 "An* as I observes previous," concluded the old 
 gentleman, " I feels about Japs an Injuns like Bill 
 does about Jim s wife that time. I never sees no 
 Japs, but I d a mighty sight rather have em." 
 
 There was another pause after this, and cigars 
 were produced. For a time the smoke curled in 
 silence. Then my friend again took up discussion. 
 
Johnny Florets Axle Grease* 47 
 
 "Thar comes few Injuns investigating into Wolf, 
 ville. Doorin them emutes of Cochise, an Geron- 
 imo, an Nana, the Apaches goes No th an South 
 clost in by that camp of ours, but you bet ! they re 
 never that locoed as to rope once at WolfvilleJ 
 We-all would shorely have admired to entertain 
 them hostiles ; but as I su gests, they re a heap too 
 enlightened to give us a chance. 
 
 * Savages never finds much encouragement to 
 come ha ntin about Wolfville. About the first 
 visitin Injun meets with a contreetemps ; though 
 this is inadvertent a heap an not designed. This 
 buck, a Navajo, I takes it, from his feathers, has 
 been pirootin about for a day or two. At last I 
 reckons he allows he ll eelope off into the foothills 
 ag in. As carryin out them roode plans which he 
 forms, he starts to scramble onto the Tucson stage 
 jest as Old Monte s c llectin up his reins. But it 
 don t go; Injuns is barred. The gyard, who s 
 perched up in front next to Old Monte, pokes this 
 yere aborigine in the middle of his face with the 
 muzzle of his rifle ; an as the Injun goes tumblin , 
 the stage starts, an both wheels passes over him 
 the longest way. That Injun gives a groan like 
 twenty sinners, an* his lamp is out. 
 
 " Old Monte sets the brake an climbs down an* 
 sizes up the remainder. Then he gets back on the 
 box, picks up his six hosses an is gettin out. 
 
 " Yere, you! says French, who s the Wells- 
 Fargo agent, a-callin after Old Monte, come back 
 an either plant your game or pack it with you- 
 
48 Wolfville Days* 
 
 I m too busy a gent to let you or any other blinded 
 drunkard go leavin a fooneral at my door. Thar s 
 enough to do here as it is, an I don t want no dead 
 Injuns on my hands. 
 
 " Don t put him up thar an go sp ilin* them 
 mail-bags/ howls Old Monte, as French an* a hoss- 
 hustler from inside the corral lays hold of the 
 Navajo to throw him on with the baggage. 
 
 " Then come down yere an ride herd on the 
 play yourse f, you murderin sot I * says French. 
 
 * An with that, he shore cuts loose an cusses 
 Old Monte frightful ; cusses till a cottonwood tree 
 in front of the station sheds all its leaves, an* he 
 deadens the grass for a hundred yards about. 
 
 " Promotin a sepulcher in this rock-ribbed land 
 scape, says French, as Jack Moore comes up, kind 
 o apol gisin* for his profane voylence at Old 
 Monte ; framin up a tomb, I say, in this yere 
 rock-ribbed landscape ain t no child s play, an I m 
 not allowin* none for that homicide Monte to put 
 no sech tasks on me. He knows the Wolfville 
 roole. Every gent skins his own polecats an plants 
 his own prey. 
 
 " That s whatever ! says Jack Moore, an* on- 
 less Old Monte is thirstin for trouble in elaborate 
 forms, he acquiesces tharin. 
 
 "With that Old Monte hitches the Navajo to 
 the hind axle with a lariat which French brings 
 out, an then the stage, with the savage coastin 
 along behind, goes rackin off to the No th. Later, 
 Monte an the passengers hangs this yere remainder 
 
Johnny Florer s Axle Grease* 49 
 
 up in a pine tree, at an Injun crossin in the hills, 
 as a warnin . Whether it s a warnin or no, we 
 never learns ; all that s shore is that the remainder 
 an the lariat is gone next day ; but whatever idees 
 the other Injuns entertains of the play is, as I once 
 hears a lecture sharp promulgate, concealed with 
 the customary stoicism of the American savage. 
 
 " Most likely them antipathies of mine ag in 
 Injuns is a heap enhanced by what I experiences 
 back on the old Jones an* Plummer trail, when they 
 was wont to stampede our herds as we goes drivin 
 through the Injun Territory. Any little old dark 
 night one of them savages is liable to come skulkin 
 up on the wind ard side of the herd, flap a blanket, 
 cut loose a yell, an the next second thar s a hun 
 dred an twenty thousand dollars worth of property 
 skally-hootin* off into space on frenzied hoofs. 
 Next day, them same ontootered children of the 
 woods an fields would demand four bits for every 
 head they he ps round up an return to the bunch. 
 It s a source of savage revenoo, troo ; but plumb 
 irritatin . Them Injuns corrals sometimes as much 
 as a hundred dollars by sech treacheries. An then 
 we-all has to rest over one day to win it back at 
 poker. 
 
 " Will Injuns gamble? Shore! an to the limit 
 at that ! Of course, bein , as you saveys, a be 
 nighted people that a-way, they re some easy, hav- 
 in no more jedgment as to the valyoo of a hand 
 than Steve Stevenson, an Steve would take a pa r 
 of nines an* bet em higher than a cat s back. We 
 
50 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 allers recovers our dinero, but thar s time an* sleep 
 we lose an* don t get back. 
 
 "Yes, indeed, son, Injuns common is as ornery 
 as soapweed. The only good you-all can say of 
 em is, they re nacheral-born longhorns, is oncom- 
 plainin , an* saveys the West like my black boy 
 saveys licker. One time this yere is way back in 
 my Texas days one time I m camped for long 
 over on the Upper Hawgthief. It s rained a heap, 
 an* bein* as I m on low ground anyhow, it gets that 
 soft an swampy where I be it would bog a butter 
 fly. For once I m took sick ; has a fever, that 
 a-way. An lose flesh ! shorely you should have 
 seen me ! I falls off like persimmons after a frost, 
 an gets as ga nt an thin as a cow in April. So I 
 allows I ll take a lay-off for a couple of months an* 
 reecooperate some. 
 
 " Cossettin an pettin* of my health, as I states, 
 I saddles up an goes cavortin over into the Osage 
 nation to visit an old compadre of mine who s a 
 trader thar by the name of Johnny Florer. This 
 yere Florer is an old-timer with the Osages ; been 
 with em it s mighty likely twenty year at that 
 time, an is with em yet for all the notice I ever 
 receives. 
 
 " On the o casion of this ambassy of mine, I has 
 a chance to study them savages, an get a line on 
 their char cters a whole lot. This time I m with 
 Johnny, what you-all might call Osage upper cir 
 cles is a heap torn by the ontoward rivalries of a 
 brace of eminent bucks who s each strugglin to 
 
Johnny Florer s Axle Grease* 51 
 
 lead the fashion for the tribe an* raise the other 
 out. 
 
 " Them Osages, while blanket Injuns, is plumb 
 opulent. Thar s sixteen hundred of em, an they 
 has to themse fs 1,500,000 acres of as good land as 
 ever comes slippin from the palm of the Infinite. 
 Also, the gov ment is weak-minded enough to con 
 fer on every one of em, each buck drawin the 
 dinero for his fam ly, a hundred an forty big iron 
 dollars anyooally. Wherefore, as I observes, them 
 Osages is plenty strong, financial. 
 
 " These yere two high-rollin bucks I speaks of, 
 who s strugglin for the social soopremacy, is in the 
 midst of them strifes while I m visitin Florer. 
 It s some two moons prior when one of em, which 
 we ll call him the Astor Injun, takes a heavy fall 
 out of the opp sition by goin over to Cherryvale 
 an buyin a sooperannuated two-seat Rockaway 
 buggy. To this he hooks up a span of ponies, 
 loads in his squaws, an p rades round from 
 Pawhusky to Greyhoss the same bein a couple 
 of Osage camps an tharby redooces the enemy 
 what we ll name the Vanderbilt Injuns to 
 desp ration. The Astor savage shorely has the 
 call with that Rockaway. 
 
 " But the Vanderbilt Osage is a heap hard to 
 down. He takes one look at the Astor Injun s 
 Rockaway with all its blindin splendors, an then 
 goes streakin it for Cherryvale, like a drunkard 
 to a barbecue. An he sees the Rockaway an 
 goes it several better. What do you-all reckon 
 
52 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 now that savage equips himse f with? He wins 
 out a hearse, a good big black roomy hearse, with 
 ploomes onto it an* glass winders in the sides. 
 
 "As soon as ever this Vanderbilt Injun stiffens 
 his hand with the hearse, he comes troopin* back 
 to camp with it, himse f on the box drivin , an* 
 puttin on enough of lordly dog to make a pack of 
 hounds. Which he shorely squelches the Astors; 
 they jest simply lay down an wept at sech grandeur. 
 Their Rockaway ain t one, two, three, ain t in 
 the money. 
 
 " An* every day the Vanderbilt Injun would 
 load his squaws an papooses inside the hearse, an* 
 thar, wropped in their blankets an squattin on the 
 floor of the hearse for seats, they would be lookin 
 out o the winders at common savages who ain t 
 in it an don t have no hearse. Meanwhiles, the 
 buck Vanderbilt is drivin the outfit all over an* 
 round the cantonments, the entire bunch as sassy 
 an as flippant as a coop o catbirds. It s all the 
 Astors can do to keep from goin plumb locoed. 
 The Vanderbilts win. 
 
 " One mornin , when Florer an me has jest run 
 our brands onto the fourth drink, an old buck 
 comes trailin into the store. His blanket is pulled 
 over his head, an he s pantin* an* givin* it out he s 
 powerful ill. 
 
 " How is my father? says Johnny in Osage. 
 
 " Oh, my son/ says the Injun, placin one hand 
 on his stomach, an all mighty tender, * your father 
 is plenty sick. Your father gets up this mornin , 
 
Johnny Florer s Axle Grease* 53 
 
 an* his heart is very bad. You must give him 
 medicine or your father will die. 
 
 " Johnny passes the invalid a cinnamon stick an 
 exhorts him to chew on that, which he does prompt 
 an* satisfactory, like cattle on their cud. This 
 cinnamon keeps him steady for most five minutes. 
 
 " Whatever is the matter with this savage? 
 I asks of Johnny. 
 
 " Nothin* partic lar/ says Johnny. Last night 
 he comes pushin* in yere an buys a bottle of 
 Worcestershire sauce ; an* then he gets gaudy an* 
 quaffs it all up on a theery she s a new-fangled fire 
 water. He gets away with the entire bottle. It s 
 now he realizes them errors, an takes to groanin 
 an* allowin* it gives him a bad heart. Which I 
 should shorely admit as much ! 
 
 " Your father is worse/ says the Osage, as he 
 comes cuttin in on Johnny ag in. Must have 
 stronger medicine. That medicine, holdin* up 
 some of the cinnamon, * that not bad enough. 
 
 "At this, Johnny passes his father over a 
 double handful of black pepper before it s ground. 
 
 " Let my father get away with that/ says 
 Johnny, an he ll feel like a bird. It will make him 
 gay an full of p isen, like a rattlesnake in August/ 
 
 "Out to the r ar of Johnny s store is piled up 
 onder a shed more n two thousand boxes of axle 
 grease. It was sent into the nation consigned to 
 Johnny by some ill-advised sports in New York, 
 who figgers that because the Osages as a tribe 
 abounds in wagons, thar must shorely be a 
 
54 Wolfville Days. 
 
 market for axle grease. That s where them New 
 York persons misses the ford a lot. Them savages 
 has wagons, troo ; but they no more thinks of 
 greasin them axles than paintin the runnin gear. 
 They never goes ag inst that axle grease game for 
 so much as a single box; said ointment is a drug. 
 When he don t dispose of it none, Johnny stores it 
 out onder a shed some twenty rods away, an* 
 regyards it as a total loss. 
 
 " 4 Axle grease, says Johnny, * makes a p int in 
 civilization to which the savage has not yet 
 clambered, an* them optimists, East, who sends it 
 on yere, should have never made no sech break/ 
 
 " Mebby it s because this axle grease grows 
 sullen an feels neglected that a-way ; mebby it s 
 the heats of two summers an the frosts of two 
 winters which sp iles its disp sition ; shore it is at any 
 rate that at the time I m thar, that onguent seems 
 fretted to the core, an is givin forth a protestin* 
 fragrance that has stood off a coyote an made him 
 quit at a distance of two hundred yards. You 
 might even say it has caused Nacher herse f to 
 pause an catch her breath. 
 
 " It s when the ailin Osage, whose malady is too 
 deep-seated to be reached by cinnamon or pimento, 
 comes frontin up for a third prescription, that the 
 axle grease idee seizes Johnny. 
 
 " * Father/ says Johnny, come with me. Your 
 son will now saw off some big medicine on you ; a 
 medicine meant for full-blown gents like you an me. 
 Come, father, come with your son, an* you shall be 
 
Johnny Florer s Axle Grease. 55 
 
 cured in half the time it takes to run a loop on a 
 lariat. 
 
 " Johnny breaks open one of the axle grease 
 boxes, arms the savage with a chip for a spoon, an* 
 exhorts him to cut in on it a whole lot. 
 
 " Son, the odors of them wares is awful ; Kansas 
 butter is violets to it ; but it never flutters that 
 Osage. He takes Johnny s chip an goes to work, 
 spadin that axle grease into his mouth, like he ain t 
 got a minute to live. When he s got away with 
 half the box, he tucks the balance onder his blanket 
 an retires to his teepee with a look of gratitoodeon 
 his face. His heart has ceased to be bad, an them 
 illnesses, which aforetime has him on the go, sur 
 renders to the powers of this yere new medicine like 
 willows to the wind. With this, he goes caperin 
 out for his camp, idly hummin a war song, sech is 
 his relief. 
 
 "An* here s where Johnny gets action on that 
 axle grease. It shorely teaches, also, the excellence 
 of them maxims, * Cast your bread upon the waters 
 an* you ll be on velvet before many days. Within 
 two hours a couple of this sick buck s squaws comes 
 sidlin up to Johnny an* desires axle grease. It s 
 quoted at four bits a box, an the squaws changes in 
 five pesos an beats a retreat, carryin away ten boxes. 
 Then the fame of this big, new medicine spreads ; 
 that axle grease becomes plenty pop lar. Other 
 bucks an other squaws shows up, changes in 
 their money, an is made happy with axle grease. 
 They never has sech a time, them Osages don t, since 
 the battle of the Hoss-shoe. Son, they packs it off 
 
$6 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 in blankets, freights it away in wagons. They turns 
 loose on a reg lar axle grease spree. In a week 
 every box is sold, an* thar s orders stacked up on 
 Florer s desk for two kyar-loads more, which is bein 
 hurried on from the East. Even the Injuns agent 
 gets wrought up about it, an* begins to bellow an 1 
 paw round by way of compliments to Johnny. He 
 makes Johnny a speech. 
 
 " Which I ve made your excellent discovery, Mr. 
 Florer, says this agent, the basis of a report to the 
 gov ment at Washin ton. I sets forth the mad 
 passion of these yere Osages for axle grease as a 
 condiment, a beverage, an a cure. I explains the 
 tribal leanin* that exists for that speshul axle grease 
 which is crowned with years, an owns a strength 
 which comes only as the cor lary of hard experience. 
 Axle grease is like music an sooths the savage 
 breast. It is oil on the troubled waters of aborig 
 inal existence. Its feet is the feet of peace. At 
 the touch of axle grease the hostile abandons the 
 war path an surrenders himse f. He washes off his 
 paint an becometh with axle grease as the lamb 
 that bleateth. The greatest possible uprisin could 
 be quelled with a consignment of axle grease. Mr. 
 Florer, I congratulate you. From a humble store- 
 keep, sellin* soap, herrin an salt hoss, you takes 
 your stand from now with the ph lanthropists an 
 leaders among men. You have conjoined Injuns 
 an axle grease. For centuries the savage has been 
 a problem which has defied gov ment. He will do 
 so no more. Mr. Florer, you have solved the savage 
 with axle grease. " 
 
CHAPTER V. 
 
 Toothpick Johnson s Ostracism. 
 
 "YOU sees," observed the Old Cattleman, as he 
 moved into the deeper shade ; " you sees this yere 
 Toothpick disgraces Wolfville ; that s how it is. 
 Downs a party, Toothpick Johnson does, an* no 
 gun on the gent, the same bein out of roole entire. 
 Nacherally, while no one blames Toothpick, who 
 makes the play what you-all calls bony fidis, the 
 public sort o longs for his eelopement. An* that 
 settles it ; Toothpick has to hunt out for different 
 stampirT grounds. 
 
 " It all comes from Toothpick bein by nacher 
 one of these yere over-zealous people, an prema- 
 toorely prone that a-way. He s born eager, Tooth 
 pick is, an* can t he p it none. 
 
 " You-all has tracked up on that breed of 
 cimmaron plenty frequent now. They re the kind 
 who picks up a poker hand, kyard by kyard, as they 
 comes. They re that for ard, that headlong to 
 get outen the present an into the footure, they jest 
 can t wait for things to have a chance to happen. 
 
 " Whyever do you pull in your kyards that 
 a-way ? I says to Toothpick, reprovin of him. 
 Why can t you let em lay till the hand s dealt? 
 
 " Which I m shorely that locoed to look if I 
 
58 Wolfville Days, 
 
 ain t got three aces or some sech, says Toothpick, 
 I must turn em up to see. 
 
 " * Well, says I, an* the same is wisdom every 
 time, you-all would appear more like a dead cold 
 sport to let em be, an pick up your whole hand 
 together. Likewise, you d display a mighty sight 
 more savey if you keeps your eyes on the dealer 
 till he lays down the deck. You d be less afflicted 
 by disagreeable surprises if you d freeze to the last 
 idee ; an you d lay up money besides/ 
 
 " But that s the notion I m aimin to convey ; 
 Toothpick is too quick. His intellects, it looks like, 
 is on eternal tip-toe to get in a stack. 
 
 " He s too simooltaneous, is Toothpick, says 
 Jack Moore once, when him an Boggs is discoursin 
 together, sizin up Toothpick. He s that simool 
 taneous he comes mighty near bein a whole lot too 
 adjacent. 
 
 " What does Toothpick do that time we-all 
 disapproves an stampedes him ? It s a accidental 
 killin . 
 
 " It s second drink time in the evenin , an* the 
 Tucson stage is in. Thar s a passel of us who 
 has roped up our mail, an now we re standin* 
 round in front of the Red Light, breakin into 
 letters an papers, an a-makin of comments, when 
 along wanders a party who s been picnicin* with the 
 camp. As the deal turns, he never does stay long 
 nohow; never long enough to become a genial 
 quaintance an a fav rite of all. 
 
 " This party who comes sidlin* up is, as we hears, 
 
Toothpick Johnson s Ostracism* 59 
 
 iate from Red Dog ; an doorin them four hours 
 wherein he confers his society onto us, he stays 
 drunk habityooal an never does lapse into bein 
 sober fora second. It s shore remark ble, now, how 
 all them Red Dog people stays intox cated while 
 they sojourns in Wolfville. Never knows it to 
 fail; an I allows, as as lootion that a-way, it s owin 
 to the sooperior merits of our nose-paint. It s a 
 compliment they pays us. 
 
 " However, this Red Dog gent s drinkin* is his 
 own affairs. An his earnestness about licker may 
 have been his system ; then ag in it may not ; I 
 don t go pryin* none to determine. But bein he s 
 plumb drunk, as you readily discerns, it keeps up a 
 barrier ag in growin intimate with this party; 
 an* ontil Toothpick opens on him, his intercourse 
 with Wolfville is nacherally only formal. 
 
 " This visitor from Red Dog which Red Dog 
 itse f is about as low-flung a bunch of crim nals as 
 ever gets rounded up an called a camp but, as 
 I m sayin , this totterin wreck I mentions comes 
 stragglin* up, more or less permiscus an vague, an , 
 without sayin a word or makin* a sign, or even 
 shakin a bush, stands about lariat distance away an* 
 star s at Toothpick, blinkin his eyes mighty ma 
 levolent. 
 
 " It ain t no time when this yere bluff on the part 
 of the drinkin Red Dog gent attracts Toothpick, 
 who s been skirmishin round among us where 
 we re standin*, an is at that time mentionin* Freight 
 er s Stew, as a good thing to eat, to Dave Tutt. 
 
60 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " Who be you-all admirin now ? asks Tooth, 
 pick of the Red Dog party, who s glarin towards 
 him. It s then I notes the lights begin to dance in 
 Toothpick s eyes ; with that impulsive sperit of his, 
 he s doo to become abrupt with our visitor at the 
 drop of the hat. 
 
 " That Red Dog gent don t make no retort, but 
 stands thar with his eyes picketed on Toothpick 
 like he s found a victim. Toothpick is fidgetin on 
 his feet, with his thumbs stuck in his belt; which 
 this last is a bad symptom, as it leaves a gent s artil 
 lery easy to reach. 
 
 " It strikes me at the time that it s even money 
 thar s goin to be some shootin . I don t then nor 
 now know why none. But that ignorance is com 
 mon about shootin s ; two times in three nobody 
 ever does know why. 
 
 " I reckons now it s Toothpick s fidgetin makes 
 me suspicious he s on the brink of rousin the o ca- 
 sion with his six-shooter. Which if he s cool an* 
 ca m, it would never come to me that a-way ; a cool 
 gent never pulls the first gun, leastways never when 
 the pretext is friv lous an don t come onder the 
 head of Must . 
 
 " Well, says Toothpick ag in, whatever be 
 you-all gloatin over, I asks? Or, mebby you re 
 thinkin of doptin me as a son or somethin ? says 
 Toothpick. 
 
 " Still the party from Red Dog don t say nothin*. 
 As Toothpick ceases, however, this Red Dog per- 
 son makes a move, which is reasonable quick, for 
 
Toothpick Johnson s Ostracism* 6 1 
 
 his hip. He s got on a long coat, an* while no gent 
 can see, thar s none of us has doubts but he is fully 
 dressed, an* that he s searchin out his Colt s. 
 
 " That s what Toothpick allows ; an the Red Dog 
 party s hand ain t traveled two inches onder his sur- 
 toot, when Toothpick cuts free his 44, an the Red 
 Dog party hits the ground, face down, like a kyard 
 jest dealt. 
 
 " Yes, he s dead enough ; never does kick or 
 flutter once. It s shorely a shot in the cross. 
 
 " Do you-all note how he tries to fill his hand on 
 me? asks Toothpick, mighty cheerful. 
 
 " Toothpick stoops down for the Red Dog man s 
 gun, an what do you-all think? He don t have no 
 weepon, none whatever ; nothin more vig rous than 
 a peaceful flask of whiskey, which the same is still 
 all safe in his r ar pocket. 
 
 " He warn t heeled ! says Toothpick, straight- 
 enin up an lookin at us apol getic an disgusted. 
 
 " It s jestice to Toothpick to say, I never yet 
 overtakes that gent who s more abashed an dis 
 couraged than he is when he finds this person ain t 
 packin no gun. He surveys the remainder a second, 
 an* says: 
 
 " Gents, if ever the licker for the camp is on 
 Toothpick Johnson, it s now. But thar s one last 
 dooty to perform touchin deceased. It s evident, 
 departed is about to ask me to drink. It s this yere 
 motion he makes for his whiskey which I mistakes 
 for a gun play. Thar I errs, an stacks up this Red 
 Dog person wrong. Now that I onderstands, while 
 
62 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 acknowledgin* my fal cies, the least I can do is to 
 respect deceased s last wishes. I tharfore, says 
 Toothpick, raisin the Red Dog party s flask, com 
 plies with what, if I hadn t interrupted him, would 
 have been his last requests. An regrettin I don t 
 savey sooner, I drinks to him. 
 
 "No," concluded the Old Cattleman, "as I in- 
 timates at the go-off, Toothpick don t stay long 
 after that. No one talks of stringin* him for what s 
 a plain case of bad jedgment, an nothin more. 
 But still, Wolfville takes a notion ag in him, an* 
 don t want him round none. So he has to freight 
 out. 
 
 " You are all right, Toothpick, speakin* gen ral, 
 says Old Man Enright, when him an Doc Peets an 
 Jack Moore comes up on Toothpick to notify him it s 
 the Stranglers idee he d better pack his wagons an 
 hit the trail, but you don t hold your six-shooter 
 enough in what Doc Peets yere calls " abeyance." 
 Without puttin* no stain on your character, it s 
 right to say you ain t sedentary enough, an that 
 you-all is a heap too soon besides. In view, thar 
 fore, of what I states, an of you droppin this yere 
 Red Dog gent not an ounce of iron on him at the 
 time ! while we exonerates, we decides without a 
 dissentin vote to sort o look round the camp for 
 you to-morry, say at sundown, an hang you some, 
 should you then be present yere. That s how the 
 herd is grazin , Toothpick : an if you re out to com 
 mit sooicide, you ll be partic lar to be with us at the 
 hour I names. 
 
CHAPTER VL 
 The Wolfvilie Daily Coyote. 
 
 " YOU-ALL remembers back," said the Old Cattle- 
 man, " that yeretofore I su gests how at some 
 appropriate epock, I relates about the comin of 
 Colonel William Greene Sterett an that advent of 
 Wolfville s great daily paper, the Coyote." 
 
 It was evening and sharply in the wake of dinner. 
 We were gathered unto ourselves in my friend s 
 apartments. In excellent mood to hear of Colonel 
 Sterett and his celebrated journal, I eagerly assured 
 him that his promise in said behalf was fresh and 
 fragrant in my memory, and that I trusted he 
 would find present opportunity for its redemption. 
 Thus encouraged, the old gentleman shoved the box 
 of cigars towards me, poured a generous glass, and 
 disposed himself to begin. 
 
 " Red Dog in a sperit of vain competition," 
 observed my friend, " starts a paper about the same 
 time Colonel Sterett founds the Coyote ; an , son, for 
 a while, them imprints has a lurid life ! The Red 
 Dog paper don t last long though ; it lacks them ele 
 ments of longevity which the Coyote possesses, an 
 it ain t runnin many weeks before it sort o* rots 
 down all at once, an the editor jumps the game. 
 
64 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 " It s ever been a subject of dissensions between 
 Colonel Sterett an* myse f as to where impartial 
 jestice should lay the blame of that Red Dog 
 paper s failure. Colonel Sterett charges it onto the 
 editor; but it s my beliefs, an I m j ined tharin by 
 Boggs an Texas Thompson, that no editor could 
 flourish an no paper survive in surroundin s so 
 plumb venomous an p isen as Red Dog. More- 
 over, I holds that Colonel Sterett, onintentional no 
 doubt, takes a ja ndiced view of that brother pub 
 lisher. But I rides ahead of my tale. 
 
 " Thar comes a day when Old Man Enright heads 
 into the Red Light, where we-all is discussin of 
 eepisodes, an* he packs a letter in his hand. 
 
 " Yere s a matter, he says, of public concern, 
 an* I asks for a full expression of the camp for 
 answer. Yere s a sharp by the name of Colonel 
 William Greene Sterett, who writes me as how he s 
 sufTerin to let go all holts in the States an start a 
 paper in Wolfville. It shall be, he says, a pro- 
 gressif an enlightened journal, devoted to the 
 moral, mental an material upheaval of this yere 
 commoonity, an he aims to learn our views. Do I 
 hear any remarks on this litteratoor s prop sition ? 
 
 " Tell him to come a-runnin , Enright, says 
 Jack Moore ; an draw it strong. If thar s one 
 want which is slowly but shorely crowdin Wolf. 
 ville to the wall, it s a dearth of literatoor; yere s 
 our chance, an* we plays it quick an high. 
 
 " I ain t so gala confident of all this, says Dan 
 Boggs. I m sort o allowin this hamlet s too 
 
The Wolfville Daily Coyote. 65 
 
 feeble yet for a paper. StartirT a paper in a small 
 camp this a-way is like givin a six-shooter to a boy; 
 most likely he shoots himse f, or mebby busts the 
 neighbor, tharwith/ 
 
 " Oh, I don t know, says Doc Peets, who, I 
 wants to say, is as sudden a white man, mental, as I 
 ever sees ; my notion is to bring him along. The 
 mere idee of a paper ll do a heap for the town. 
 
 " I m entertainin sentiments similar, says 
 Enright ; an I guess I ll write this Colonel Sterett 
 that we ll go him once if we lose. I m assisted to 
 this concloosion by hearin , the last time I m in 
 Tucson, that Red Dog, which is our rival, is out to 
 start ;: paper, in which event it behooves Wolfville 
 to split even with em at the least. 
 
 " That s whatever ! says Moore. K we allows 
 Red Dog to put it onto us that a-way we might 
 jest as well dissolve Wolfville as a camp, an reepair 
 to the woods in a body. 
 
 " Enright sends Colonel Sterett word, an in four 
 weeks he comes packin in his layout an* opens up 
 his game. Colonel Sterett. personal, is a broad, 
 thick, fine-seemin gent, with a smooth, high for ead, 
 grey eyes, an a long, honest face like a hoss. The 
 Colonel has a far-off look in his eyes, like he s 
 dreamin of things sublime, which Doc Peets says 
 is the common look of lit rary gents that a-way. 
 Texas Thompson, however, allows he witnesses the 
 same distant expression in the eyes of a foogitive 
 from jestice. 
 
 " Colonel Sterett makes a good impression. He 
 
66 Wolfville Days. 
 
 evolves his journal an names it the Coyote, a name 
 applauded by us all. I ll read you a few of them 
 earliest items ; which I m able to give these yere 
 notices exact, as I preserves a file of the Coyote com 
 plete. I shorely wouldn t be without it ; none what- 
 ever ! 
 
 " Miss Faro Nell, Wolfville s beautiful and accomplished 
 society belle, condescended to grace the post of lookout last 
 night for the game presided over by our eminent townsman, 
 Mr. Cherokee Hall. 
 
 " Ain t it sweet ? says Faro Nell, when she 
 reads it. * I thinks it s jest lovely. The drinks is 
 on me, barkeep. Then we goes on : 
 
 " Mr. Samuel Johnson Enright, a namesake of the great 
 lexicographer, and the Lycurgus of Wolfville, paid a visit to 
 Tucson last week. 
 
 " Any person possessing leisure and a stack of chips can 
 adventure the latter under conditions absolutely equitable with 
 that distinguished courtier of fortune, Mr. Cherokee Hall. 
 
 " If Mr. John Moore, our efficient Marshal, will refrain from 
 pinning his targets for pistol practice to the exterior of our 
 building, we will bow our gratitude when next we meet. The 
 bullets go right through. 
 
 " We were distressed last week to note that Mr. James 
 Hamilton, the gentlemanly and urbane proprietor of Wolfville s 
 temple of terpsichoir (see ad. in another column) had changed 
 whiskeys on us, and was dispensing what seemed to our throat 
 a tincture of the common carpet tack of commerce. It is our 
 hope that Mr. H., on seeing this, will at once restore the statu 
 quo at his justly popular resort. 
 
 " A reckless Mexican was parading the street the other 
 night carrying in his hand a monkey wrench. It was dark, 
 
The Wolfville Daily Coyote. 67 
 
 and Mr. Daniel Boggs, a leading citizen of Wolfville, who met 
 him, mistaking the wrench for a pistol which the Mexican was 
 carrying for some vile purpose, very properly shot him. Mex 
 icans are far too careless this way. 
 
 " The O. K. Restauraw is one of the few superior hostelries 
 of the Territory. Mrs. Rucker, its charming proprietress, is a 
 cook who might outrival even that celebrated chef, now dead, 
 M. Soyer. Her pies are poems, her bread an epic, and her 
 beans a dream. Mrs. Rucker has cooked her way to every 
 heart, and her famed establishment is justly regarded as the 
 bright particular gem in Wolfville s municipal crown. 
 
 "It is not needed for us to remind our readers that Wolf 
 ville possesses in the person of that celebrated practitioner of 
 medicine, Mr. Cadwallader Peets, M. D., a scientist whose 
 fame is world-wide and whose renown has reached to furthest 
 lands. Doctor Peets has beautifully mounted the skull of that 
 horse-stealing ignobility, Bear Creek Stanton, who recently 
 suffered the punishment due his many crimes at the hands of 
 our local vigilance committee, a tribunal which under the dis 
 cerning leadership of President Enright, never fails in the ad 
 ministration of justice. Doctor Peets will be glad to exhibit 
 this memento mori to all who care to call. Doctor Peets, who 
 is eminent as a phrenologist, avers that said skull is remarkable 
 for its thickness, and that its conformation points to the pos 
 session by Bear Creek, while he wore it, of the most powerful 
 natural inclinations to crime. From these discoveries of Doc 
 tor Peets, the committee which suspended this felon to the 
 windmill is to be congratulated on acting just in time. It 
 seems plain from the contour of this skull that it would not 
 have been long, had not the committee intervened, before 
 Bear Creek would have added murder to horse larceny, and 
 to-day the town might be mourning the death of a valued cit 
 izen instead of felicitating itself over the taking-off of a villain 
 whose very bumps indict and convict him with every fair and 
 enlightened intelligence that is brought to their contemplation. 
 
68 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " Our respected friend and subscriber, Mr. David Tutt, and 
 his beautiful and accomplished lady, Mrs. David Tutt, nee 
 Tucson Jennie, have returned from their stay in Silver City. 
 Last night in honor of their coming, and to see their friends, 
 this amiable and popular pair gave an At Home. There was 
 every form of refreshment, and joy and merriment was un- 
 confined. Miss Faro Nell was admittedly the belle of this 
 festive occasion, and Diana would have envied her as, radiant 
 and happy, she led the grand march leaning on the arm of Mr. 
 Cherokee Hall. By request of Mr. Daniel Boggs, the Lariat 
 Polka was added to the programme of dances, as was also 
 the Pocatello Reel at the instance of Mr. Texas Thompson. 
 As the ball progressed, and at the particular desire of those 
 present, Mr. Boggs and Mr. Thompson entertained the company 
 with that difficult and intricate dance known as the Mountain 
 Lion Mazourka, accompanying their efforts with spirited 
 vocalisms meant to imitate the defiant screams of a panther 
 on its native hills. These cries, as well as the dance itself, 
 were highly realistic, and Messrs. B. and T. were made the 
 recipients of many compliments. Mr. and Mrs. Tutt are to 
 be congratulated on the success of the function ; to fully describe 
 its many excellent features would exhaust encomium. 
 
 11 Which we reads the foregoin with onmixed 
 pleasure, an thar ain t a gent but who s plumb con 
 vinced that a newspaper, that a-way, is the bulwark 
 of civilizations an* corner-stone of American insti- 
 tootions, which it s allowed to be by the voices of 
 them ages. 
 
 " * This yere imprint, the Coyote? says Jack 
 Moore, ( is a howlin triumph, an any gent disposed 
 can go an make a swell bet on it with every cer 
 tainty of a-killin . Also, I remembers yereafter 
 about them bullets. 
 
The Wolfville Daily Coyote, 69 
 
 " Meanwhile, like I states prior, Red Dog has its 
 editor, who whirls loose a paper which he calls the 
 Stingiri Lizard. The Red Dog sheet ain t a marker 
 to Colonel Sterett s Coyote, an it s the yooniversal 
 idee in Wolfville, after ca mly comparin the two 
 papers, that Colonel Sterett as a editor can simply 
 back that Red Dog person plumb off the ground. 
 
 " It ain t no time before Colonel Sterett an the 
 Red Dog editor takes to cirklin for trouble, an the 
 frightful names they applies to each other in their 
 respectif journals, an the accoosations an them 
 epithets they hurls, would shore curdle the blood 
 of a grizzly b ar. 
 
 " An as if to complicate the sityooation for that 
 onhappy sport who s gettin out the Red Dog 
 Stingin Lizard, he begins to have trouble local. 
 Thar s a chuck-shop at Red Dog it s a plumb low 
 j int ; I never knows it to have any grub better 
 than beans, salt pig an airtights, which is called 
 the ABE LINCOLN HOUSE, an is kept by a party 
 named Pete Bland. Which this yere Bland also 
 owns a goat, the same bein a gift of a Mexican 
 who s got in the hole to Bland an squar s accounts 
 that a-way. 
 
 " This goat is jest a simple-minded, every-day, 
 common kind of a goat ; but he s mighty thorough 
 in his way, allers on the hustle, an if he ever over 
 looks a play, no one don t know it. One day, when 
 the Red Dog editor is printin off his papers, up 
 comes the goat, an diskyardin of the tin-can which 
 he s chewin , he begins debauchin of himse f with 
 
70 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 this yere edition of the Stingiri Lizard. It s mighty 
 soon when the editor discovers it an lays for the 
 goat permiscus; he goes to chunkin of him up a 
 whole lot. The goat s game an declar s himse f, an 
 thar starts a altercation with the editor an* the goat, 
 of which thar s no tellin the wind-up, an* which 
 ends only when this yere Bland cuts in, an the 
 goat s drug home. The paper is stopped an the 
 editor puts in this : 
 
 " Our presses are stopped to-day to say that if the weak- 
 minded person who maintains the large, black goat which 
 infests our streets, does not kill the beast, we will. To-day, 
 while engaged in working off our mammoth edition out back of 
 our building, the thievish creature approached unnoticed and 
 consumed seventeen copies of the Stinging Lizard. 
 
 " Which this yere Bland gets incensed at this, an 
 puts it up the editor can t eat with him no more. 
 But better counsel smooths it over, an at last this 
 Bland forgives the editor, an* all is forgot. The 
 goat, however, never does ; an he stamps his foot an 
 prowls round for a fracas every time him an that 
 editor meets. 
 
 " All this yere time Colonel Sterett an this same 
 Red Dog editor maintains them hostilities. The 
 way they lams loose at each other in their papers is 
 a terror. I allers reckons Colonel Sterett gets a heap 
 the best of this yere mane-chewin ; we-all so re- 
 gyards it, an so does he ; an he keeps his end up 
 with great sperit an voylence. 
 
 " These yere ink-riots don t go on more n two 
 months, however, when Colonel Sterett decides that 
 
The Wolfville Daily Coyote. 71 
 
 the o casion calls for somethin more explicit. As 
 he says, Patience ceases to be trumps, an so he 
 saddles up a whole lot an* rides over to Red Dog, 
 personal. Colonel Sterett don t impart them plans 
 of his to no one ; he simply descends on his foe, 
 sole an alone, like that game an chivalrous gent of 
 bell letters which he shorely is ; an , son, Colonel 
 Sterett makes a example of that slander-mongerin 
 Red Dog editor. 
 
 " It s about the last drink time in the mornin , an* 
 a passel of them Red Dog sports is convened in front 
 of the Tub of Blood s loon, when they-all hears a 
 crash an looks up, an* thar s their editor a-soarin 
 out of his second-story window. Of course, in 
 a second or so, he hits the ground, an them Red 
 Dog folks goes over to get the rights of this yere 
 phenomenon. He ain t hurt so but what he gets up 
 an limps round, an he tells em it s the Wolfville 
 editor does it. Next time the Stingin Lizard comes 
 out, we reads about it : 
 
 " The gasconading reptile who is responsible for the slimy 
 life of that prurient sheet, the Coyote, paid us a sneaking visit 
 Saturday. If he had given us notice of his intentions, we would 
 have prepared ourselves and torn his leprous hide from his 
 debauched and whiskey-poisoned frame, and polluted our fence 
 with it, but he did not. True to his low, currish nature, he 
 crept upon us unawares. Our back was toward him as he 
 entered, perceiving which the cowardly poltroon seized us and 
 threw us through our own window. Having accomplished his 
 fiendish work, the miscreant left, justly fearing our wrath. The 
 Stinging Lizard s exposure of this scoundrel as a drunkard, 
 embezzler, wife- beater, jail-bird, thief, and general all-round 
 
72 Wolfville Days. 
 
 blackleg prompted this outrage. Never mind, the creature 
 will hear from us. 
 
 " Which this newspaper business is shorely gettin* 
 some bilious, not to say hectic, a whole lot, says 
 Dan Boggs, as we reads this. I wonder if these 
 yere folks means fight ? 
 
 " * Why/ says Enright, * I don t know as they d 
 fight none if we-all lets em alone, but I don t see 
 how we can. This sort of racket goes on for years 
 in the East, but Wolfville can t stand it. Sech talk 
 as this means blood in Arizona, an we insists on 
 them traditions that a-way bein respected. Besides, 
 we owes somethin to Colonel Sterett/ 
 
 " So Enright an* Cherokee hunts up our editor an* 
 asks him whatever he aims to do, an tells him he s 
 aroused public sentiments to sech heights thar ll be 
 a pop lar disapp intment if he don t challenge the 
 Red Dog editor an beef him. Colonel Sterett 
 allows he s crazy to do it, an that the Wolfville 
 public can gamble he ll go the distance. So Chero 
 kee an Jack Moore puts on their guns an goes over 
 to Red Dog to fix time an place. The Red Dog 
 editor says he s with em, an they shakes dice for 
 place, an Cherokee an Moore wins. 
 
 " Which as evidence of good faith/ says Chero 
 kee, we picks Red Dog. We pulls this thing off 
 on the very scene of the vict ry of Colonel Sterett 
 when he hurls your editor through his window that 
 time. I holds the same to be a mighty proper 
 scheme. 
 
 " You-all needn t be timid none to come/ says 
 
The Wolfville Daily Coyote* 73 
 
 the Red Dog sports. You gets a squar deal from 
 a straight deck ; you can gamble on that. 
 
 " Oh, we ain t apprehensif none, says Cherokee 
 an Jack ; * you can shorely look for us. 
 
 " Well, the day s come, an* all Wolfville an* Red 
 Dog turns out to see the trouble. Jack Moore an* 
 Cherokee Hall represents for our editor, an a brace 
 of Red Dog people shows down for the Stingin 
 Lizard man. To prevent accidents, Enright an* the 
 Red Dog chief makes every gent but them I names, 
 leave their weepons some ers else, wherefore thar 
 ain t a gun in what you-all might call the hands of 
 the pop laces. 
 
 " But thar comes a interruption. Jest as them 
 dooelists gets placed, thar s a stoopendous commo 
 tion, an chargin through the crowd comes that 
 abandoned goat. The presence of so many folks 
 seems like it makes him onusual hostile. Without 
 waitin to catch his breath even, he lays for the Red 
 Dog editor, who, seem him comin , bangs away 
 with his 45 an misses. The goat hits that author 
 in the tail of his coat, an over he goes ; but he keeps 
 on slammin away with the 45 jest the same. 
 
 " Which nacherally everybody scatters for cover 
 at the first shot, cause the editor ain t carin where 
 he p ints, an in a second nobody s in sight but them 
 two journalists an that goat. I ll say right yere, 
 son, Colonel Sterett an his fellow editor an the 
 goat wages the awfullest battle which I ever be 
 holds. Which you shorely oughter heard their ex, 
 pressions . Each of em lets go every load he s got, 
 but the goat don t get hit onct. 
 
74 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " When we-all counts twelve shots six apiece 
 we goes out an* subdoos the goat by the power of 
 numbers. Of course, the dooel s ended. The Red 
 Dog folks borries a wagon an takes away their 
 man, who s suffered a heap ; an* Peets, he stays 
 over thar an fusses round all night savin of him. 
 The goat s all right an goes back to the ABE LIN 
 COLN HOUSE, where this yere Pete Bland is onrea- 
 sonable enough to back that shockin conduct of 
 his n. 
 
 " Which it s the last of the Red Dog Stingiri 
 Lizard. That editor allows he won t stay, an* 
 Bland, still adherin to his goat, allows he won t 
 feed him none if he does. The next issue of the 
 Stingiri Lizard contains this : 
 
 " We bid adieu to Red Dog. We will hereafter publish a 
 paper in Tucson ; and if we have been weak and mendacious 
 enough to speak in favor of a party of the name of Bland, who 
 misconducts a low beanery which insults an honourable man by 
 stealing his name we refer to that feed-trough called the ABE 
 LINCOLN HOUSE we will correct ourselves in its columns. 
 This person harbours a vile goat, for whose death we will pay 
 $5, and give besides a life-long subscription to our new paper. 
 Last week this mad animal made an unprovoked assault upon us 
 and a professional brother, and beat, butted, wounded, bruised 
 and ill-treated us until we suffer in our whole person. We give 
 notice as we depart, that under no circumstances will we return 
 until this goat is extinct. 
 
 " Followin the onexpected an thrillin finish of 
 Colonel Sterett s dooel with the Red Dog editor, 
 an from which Colonel Sterett emerges onscathed, 
 
The Wolfville Daily Coyote. 75 
 
 an leavin* Peets with his new patient, we-all re 
 turns in a body to Wolfville. After refreshments 
 in the Red Light, Enright gives his views. 
 
 " * Ondoubted, observes Enright, * our gent, 
 Colonel Sterett, conducts himse f in them painful 
 scenes between him an* the goat an that Red Dog 
 editor in a manner to command respects, an he re 
 turns with honors from them perils. Thar s no 
 more to be done. The affair closes without a stain 
 on the scutcheon of Wolfville, or the fair fame of 
 Colonel Sterett ; which last may continyoo to pro 
 mulgate his valyooable paper, shore of our con 
 fidence an upheld by our esteem. It is not 
 incumbent on him to further pursoo this affair. 
 His name an honor is satisfied ; besides, no gent 
 can afford the recognitions and privileges of the 
 dooello to a party who s sunk so low as to have 
 hostile differences with a goat, an who persists pub 
 licly in followin em to bitter an voylent concloo- 
 sions. This Red Dog editor s done put himse f 
 outside the pale of any high-sperited gent s con 
 sideration by them actions, an* can claim no 
 further notice. Gents, in the name of Wolfville, I 
 tenders congrat lations to Colonel Sterett on the 
 way in which he meets the dangers of his p sition, 
 an* the sooperb fashion in which he places before us 
 one of the greatest journals of our times. Gents, we 
 drinks to Colonel William Greene Sterett an the 
 Coyote. " 
 
CHAPTER VH. 
 Cherokee Hall Plays Poker* 
 
 " NACHERALLY I m not much of a sport," remarked 
 the Old Cattleman, as he laid down a paper which 
 told a Monte Carlo story of a fortune lost and won. 
 " Which I m not remorseless enough to be a clean- 
 strain gambler. Of course, a kyard sharp can make 
 benevolences an lavish dust on the needy on the 
 side, but when it gets to a game for money, he can t 
 afford no ruthfulness that a-way, tryin not to hurt 
 the sore people. He must play his system through, 
 an* with no more conscience than cows, no matter 
 who s run down in the stampede. 
 
 " For which causes, bein plumb tender an sym 
 pathetic, I m shore no good with kyards ; an when 
 ever I dallies tharwith, it is onder the head of 
 amoosements. 
 
 " Do I regyard gamblin as immoral ? No ; I 
 don t reckon none now I do. This bein what you- 
 all church sharps calls moral is somewhat a matter 
 of health, an likewise the way you feels. Sick folks 
 usual is a heap more moral than when their 
 health s that excellent it s tantalizin . 
 
 " Speakin of morals, I recalls people who would 
 scorn kyards, but who d admire to buy a widow s 
 
Cherokee Hall Plays Poker. 77 
 
 steers for four dollars an saw em off ag in for forty. 
 They d take four hundred dollars if some party, 
 locoed to a degree which permits said outrage, 
 would turn up. The right or wrong, what you calls 
 the morality of gatherin steers for four dollars an 
 plunderin* people with em at forty dollars, wouldn t 
 bother em a bit. Which the question with these 
 yere wolves is simply : How little can I pay an 
 how much can I get ? An yet, as I says, sech 
 parties mighty likely holds themse fs moral to a 
 degree which is mountainous, an wouldn t take a 
 twist at faro-bank, or pick up a poker hand, more n 
 they d mingle with t rant lers an stingin lizards. 
 An some of them moral sports is so onlib ral ! I 
 tells you, son, I ve met up with em who s that 
 stingy that if they owned a lake, they wouldn t give 
 a duck a drink. 
 
 " Gamblin* is immoral that a-way, says these 
 yere sports. 
 
 " An yet I don t see no sech heinous difference 
 between searchin a gent for his roll with steers at 
 forty dollars the same standin you in four an* 
 layin for him by raisin the ante for the limit before 
 the draw. Mighty likely thar s a reason why one s 
 moral an the other s black an bad, but I admits 
 onblushin ly that the onearthin tharof is shore too 
 many for dim-eyed folks like me. They strikes me 
 a heap sim lar ; only the kyard sharp goes out 
 ag inst chances which the steer sharp escapes com, 
 plete. 
 
 " I reckons Cherokee Hall an me discusses how 
 
78 "WolfvIHe Days. 
 
 wrong gamblin is hundreds of times on leesure 
 days ; we frequent talks of it immoderate. Chero 
 kee s views an* mine is side an* side, mostly, 
 although, makin his livin turnin kyards, of course 
 he s more qualified to speak than me. 
 
 " Which I shore finds nothin wrong in faro- 
 bank/ says Cherokee. Thar s times, however, 
 when some sport who s locoed by bad luck, or 
 thinks he s wronged, gets diffusive with his gun. 
 At sech epocks this device has its burdens, I con 
 cedes. But I don t perceive no immorality ; none 
 whatever. 
 
 " Yes, now you asks the question, I does inform 
 you a while back of this Cherokee Hall bein prone 
 to charity. He never is much of a talker, but in his 
 way he s a mighty gregar ous gent. About some 
 things he s game as hornets, Cherokee is ; but his 
 nerve fails him when it comes to seein* other people 
 suffer. He can stand bad luck himse f, an never 
 turn a ha r ; but no one else s bad luck. 
 
 " It ain t once a week, but it s every day, when 
 this yere gray-eyed sport is robbin his roll for 
 somebody who s settin in ag inst disaster. Fact ; 
 Cherokee s a heap weak that a-way. 
 
 " Of course, turnin faro, Cherokee knows who has 
 money an who needs it ; keeps tab, so to speak, on 
 the fluctooations of the camp s finances closer n 
 anybody. The riches an the poverty of Wolfville 
 is sort o exposin itse f round onder his nose ; it s 
 a open book to him ; an the knowledge of who s 
 flat, or who s flush, is thrust onto him continyoous. 
 
Cherokee Hall Plays Poker* 79 
 
 As I says, bein some sentimental about them hard 
 ships of others, the information costs Cherokee 
 hard onto a diurnal stack or two. 
 
 " Which you re too impulsive a whole lot, I 
 argues onct when a profligate he s staked, an who 
 reports himse f as jumpin sideways for grub pre 
 vious, goes careerin over to the dance hall with 
 them alms he s wrung, an proceeds on a debauch. 
 You oughter not allow them ornery folks to do 
 you. If you d cultivate the habit of lettin every 
 gent go a-foot till he can buy a hoss, you d clean 
 up for a heap more at the end of the week. Now 
 this ingrate whose hand you stiffens ain t buyin 
 nothin but nose-paint tharwith. 
 
 " Which the same plants no regrets with me,* 
 says Cherokee, all careless an* indifferent. If this 
 person is sufferin for whiskey worse n he s sufferin* 
 for bread, let him loose with the whiskey. The 
 money s his. When I gives a gent a stake, thar s 
 nothin held back. I don t go playin the despot 
 as to how he blows it. If this yere party I relieves 
 wants whiskey an is buyin whiskey, I approves 
 his play. If I ve a weakness at all, it s for seein 
 folks fetterless an free. 
 
 " While holdin Cherokee s views erroneous, so 
 far as he seeks to apply em to paupers tankin up 
 on donations, still I allows it s dealin faro which 
 has sp iled him ; an as you can t make no gent over 
 new, I quits an don t buck his notions about dis- 
 pensin charity no more. 
 
 " Thar s times when this yere Cherokee Hall 
 
8o Wolfville Days* 
 
 caroms on a gent who s high-strung that a-way, an 
 won t take no donations; which this yere sport may 
 be plenty needy to the p int of perishin , too. 
 That s straight ; thar s nachers which is that re 
 luctant about aid, they simply dies standin before 
 they ll ever ask. 
 
 " Once or twice when Cherokee crosses up with 
 one of these yere sensitif souls, an who s in dis 
 tress, he never says a word about givin him any- 
 thin ; he turns foxy an caps him into a little 
 poker. An in the course of an hour for he has to 
 go slow an cunnin , so he don t arouse the victim 
 to suspicions that he s bein played Cherokee ll 
 disarrange things so he loses a small stake to him. 
 When he s got this distressed gent s finances ree- 
 habilitated some, he shoves out an* quits. 
 
 " An you can put it flat down, remarks Chero 
 kee, who s sooperstitious, I never loses nothin* 
 nor quits behind on these yere benevolences* 
 Which I oft observes that Providence comes back 
 of my box before ever the week s out, an* makes 
 good. 
 
 " I once knows a sport in Laredo, says Texas 
 Thompson, to whom Cherokee is talkin , an* is sort 
 o intimate with him. He s holdin to somethin 
 like your system, too, an plays it right along. 
 Whenever luck s ag in him to a p int where he s lost 
 half his roll, he breaks the last half in two an gives 
 one part to some charity racket. He tells me him- 
 se f he s been addicted to this scheme so long it s 
 got to be a appetite, an that he never fails to win 
 
Cherokee Hall Plays Poker* 81 
 
 himse f outen the hole with what s left. You bet ! 
 I believes it ; I sees this hold-up do it. 
 
 " I ain t none shore thar ain t some bottom to 
 them bluffs which Cherokee an Texas puts up 
 about Providence stockin a deck your way, an 
 makin good them gifts. At least, thar s times 
 when it looks like it a heap. An what I ll now 
 relate shows it. 
 
 " One time Cherokee has it sunk deep in his 
 bosom to he p a gent named Ellis to somethin like 
 a yellow stack, so he can pull his freight for home. 
 He s come spraddlin into the West full of hope, 
 an allowin he s goin to get rich in a day. An 
 now when he finds how the West is swift an hard 
 to beat, he s homesick to death. 
 
 " But Ellis ain t got the dinero. Now Cherokee 
 likes him for Ellis is a mighty decent form of 
 shorthorn an concloodes ; all by himse f, he ll 
 stand in on Ellis destinies an fix em up a lot. 
 Bein as Ellis is a easy maverick to wound, Chero 
 kee decides it s better to let him think he wins the 
 stuff, an* not lacerate him by no gifts direct. 
 Another thing, this yere Ellis tenderfoot is plumb 
 contrary ; he s shore contrary to the notch of bein 
 cap ble of declinin alms absoloote. 
 
 " To make certain Ellis is got rid of, an headed 
 homeward happy, Cherokee pulls on a little poker 
 with Ellis ; an he takes in Dan Boggs on the play, 
 makin her three-handed, that a-way for a blind. 
 Dan is informed of the objects of the meetin , an* 
 ain t allowin to more n play a dummy hand tharin. 
 
82 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 " This yere Ellis makes a tangle at first, wantin 
 to play faro-bank ; but Cherokee, who can t control 
 no faro game like he can poker, says * No ; he s 
 dead weary of faro, turnin it day an dark ; right 
 then he is out for a little stretch at poker as mere 
 relief. Also Dan objects strenyoous. 
 
 " * Which I don t have no luck at faro-bank, says 
 Dan. I does nothin* but lose for a month ; I m 
 made sullen by it. The only bet I stands to win at 
 faro, for plumb four weeks, is a hundred dollars which 
 I puts on a case queen, coppered, over in Tucson 
 the other day. An I lose that. I m a hoss-thief if, 
 exackly as the queen is comin my way, that locoed 
 Tucson marshal don t take a slam at a gent with his 
 six-shooter an miss; an the bullet, which is dodgin 
 an meanderin down the room, crosses the layout 
 between the dealer an me, an takes the top chip 
 off my bet. An with it goes the copper. Before 
 I can restore them conditions, the queen falls to 
 lose ; an not havin no copper on my bet, of course, 
 I m impoverished for that hundred as aforesaid. 
 You knows the roole every bet goes as it lays. 
 Said statoote is fully in force in Tucson ; an* 
 declinin* to allow anythin for wild shootin by that 
 fool marshal, them outcasts corrals my chips. 
 " However do I know thar s an accident ? " says the 
 dealer, as he rakes in that queen bet, while I m 
 expoundin why it should be comin to me. " Mebby 
 she s an accident, an mebby ag in that hom cide 
 who s bustin round yere with his gun, is in league 
 with you-all, an shoots that copper off designful, 
 
Cherokee Hall Plays Poker. 83 
 
 thinkin the queen s comin the other way. If acci 
 dents is allowed to control in faro-bank, the house 
 would never win a chip." So/ concloodes Dan, 
 ; they gets away with my hundred, invokin strict 
 rooles onto me. While I can t say they ain t right, 
 I makes up my mind my luck s too rank for faro, 
 an registers vows not to put a peso on another lay 
 out for a year. As the time limit ain t up, I can t 
 buck faro-bank none ; but if you an* Ellis, Cherokee, 
 can tol rate a little draw, I m your onmurmurin 
 dupe/ 
 
 " As I relates prior, the play is to let Ellis win a 
 home-stake an quit. At last they begins, Ellis seein 
 thar s no chance for faro-bank. Dan plays but little ; 
 usual, he merely picks up his kyards, cusses a lot, 
 an passes out. Now an then, when it s his ante, or 
 Cherokee stays out for the looks of the thing, Dan 
 goes to the front an sweetens Ellis for a handful 
 of chips. 
 
 " Little by little, by layin down good hands, 
 breakin* pa rs before a draw, an gen rally carryin 
 on tail-first an scand lous, Cherokee an Dan is get- 
 tin a few layers of fat on Ellis ribs. But they has 
 to lay low to do it. Oh ! he d kick over the table 
 in a second if he even smells the play. 
 
 " Now yere s where Providence makes its deboo. 
 It happens while these charities is proceedin , a 
 avaricious gent a stranger within our gates, he is 
 after regyardin the game awhile, takes to deemin 
 it easy. The avaricious gent wants in ; an as Ellis, 
 who s a heap elated at his luck an is already talkin 
 
84 Wolfville Days* 
 
 of the killin he s makin , says * Yes, an as Dan an* 
 Cherokee can t say No without bein* onp lite, the 
 avaricious gent butts in. It all disturbs Cherokee, 
 who s a nervous sharp ; an when he sees how greedy 
 the avaricious gent is for what he deems to be a 
 shore thing, he concloodes to drop him plenty 
 hard. 
 
 " It s four-hand poker now, an the game wags on 
 for a dozen hands. Dan is in hard luck; Chero 
 kee on his part gets driven out each hand ; an Ellis 
 an the avaricious gent is doin what little winnin s 
 bein done, between em. It s evident by this time, 
 too, the avaricious gent s layin for Cherokee. This 
 oninstructed person looks on Cherokee as both imbe 
 cile an onlucky to boot. 
 
 " The avaricious gent gets action suddener than 
 he thinks. It s a jack pot. She goes by Ellis an* 
 Dan ; then Cherokee breaks her for the limit, two 
 bloo chips, the par value whereof is ten dollars. 
 
 " You breaks for ten ? says the avaricious gent, 
 who s on Cherokee s left an has the last say ; well, 
 I sees the break an lifts it the limit. An the 
 avaricious gent puts up four bloos. Ellis an Dan, 
 holdin nothin an gettin crafty, ducks. 
 
 " When the avaricious gent puts up his four bloo 
 beans, Cherokee does somethin no one ever sees 
 him do before. He gets quer lous an complainin , 
 an begins to fuss a lot over his bad luck. 
 
 " What did you-all come in for? he says to the 
 avaricious gent, as peevish as a sick infant. You 
 sees me settin yere in the muddiest of luck ; can t you 
 
Cherokee Hall Plays Poker* 85 
 
 a-bear to let me win a pot ? You ain t got no hand 
 to come in on neither, an I ll bet on it. You jest 
 nacherally stacks in, relyin on bluffin me, or out- 
 luckin me on the draw. Well, you can t bluff ; I ll 
 see this yere through, says Cherokee, puttin up two 
 more sky-colored beans an actin like he s gettin 
 heated, if it takes my last chip. As I do, however, 
 jest to onmask you an show my friends, as I says, 
 that you ain t got a thing, I ll wager you two on 
 the side, right now, that the pa r of jacks I breaks 
 on, is bigger than the hand on which you comes in 
 an makes that two-button tilt. As he says this, 
 Cherokee regyards the avaricious gent like he s 
 plumb disgusted. 
 
 " It turns out, when Cherokee makes this yere 
 long an fretful break, the avaricious gent s holdin* 
 a brace of kings. He s delighted with Cherokee s 
 uproar, an thinks how soft, an what a case of open 
 work, he is. 
 
 " * You offers two bloos I can t beat a pa r of 
 jacks ? says the avaricious gent. Which he s plumb 
 wolf, an out for every drop of blood ! 
 
 " That s what I says, replies Cherokee, some 
 sullen. 
 
 " * I goes you, says the avaricious gent, showin a 
 pa r of kings. 
 
 " Thar you be, snarls Cherokee, with a howl 
 like a sore-head dog, a-chuckin the avaricious gent 
 a couple of chips ; thar you go ag in ! I can t 
 beat nothin ; which I couldn t beat a drum ! 
 
 " The avaricious gent c llects them two azure 
 
86 Wolfville Days. 
 
 bones ; after which he diskyards three, drawin to 
 his two kings, an sets back to win the main pot. 
 He shore concloodes it s a red letter round-up for 
 him. 
 
 " I reckons now that I knows what you has/ says 
 Cherokee, displayin* a ace in a foolish way, * I up 
 holds this yere ace on the side an asks for two 
 kyards. 
 
 " The avaricious gent adds a third king to his list 
 an feels like sunny weather. Cherokee picks up his 
 hand after the draw, an the avaricious gent, who s 
 viewin him sharp, notes that he looks a heap 
 morbid. 
 
 " All at once Cherokee braces up mighty savage, 
 like he s ugly an desp rate about his bad luck. 
 
 " If this yere limit was any size at all, a blooded 
 gent might stand some show. Which I d bluff you 
 outen your moccasins if I wasn t reepressed by a 
 limit whereof a child should be ashamed. I shore 
 don t know how I mislays my se f-respect to sech a 
 pitch as to go settin into these yere paltry plays. 
 
 " * Which you see yere a lot ! says the avaricious 
 gent, shakin with delight, an lookin at them three 
 crowned heads he holds ; don t howl all night about 
 a wrong what s so easy to rectify. We removes the 
 limits, an you can spread your pinions an soar to 
 any altitoode you please. 
 
 " Cherokee looks at him hateful as a murderer ; he 
 seems like he s bein goaded. Then, like he s made 
 up his mind to die right yere, Cherokee turns in 
 without no more words an bets five hundred dollars. 
 
Cherokee Hall Plays Poker* 87 
 
 It makes Ellis, who s new an* plumb poor that a-way, 
 sort o draw a long breath. 
 
 " Which you ll climb some for this pot if you 
 gets it, says Cherokee, after his money s up ; an his 
 tones is shore resentful. 
 
 "The avaricious gent thinks it s a bluff. He 
 deems them three kings good. Cherokee most 
 likely don t better by the draw. If he does, it s 
 nothin worse than aces up, or a triangle of jacks. 
 That s the way this sordid sport lines up Cherokee s 
 hand. 
 
 " * Merely to show you the error of your ways, 
 he remarks, * an to teach you to lead a happier an 
 a better life, I sees your five hundred an raises her 
 back the same. An* the avaricious gent counts 
 off a thousand dollars. * Thar, he says when it s 
 up, now go as far as you like. Make it a ceilin 
 play if the sperit moves you. 
 
 " I sees it an lifts her for five hundred more, 
 retorts Cherokee. An he shoves his dust to the 
 center. 
 
 "Cherokee s peevishness is gone, an his fault- 
 findin is over. He s turned as confident an easy 
 a3 a old shoe. 
 
 " It strikes the avaricious gent as alarmin , this 
 quick switch in the way Cherokee feels. It s cl ar, 
 as one looks in his face, that them trio of kings 
 ain t no sech monstrosities as they was. He ain t 
 half so shore they wins. After lookin a while he 
 says, an his tones shows he s plumb doobious : 
 
 " That last raise over-sizes me. 
 
88 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 " That s it ! groans Cherokee, like his contempt 
 for all mankind is comin back. * By the time I 
 gets a decent hand every sport at the table s broke. 
 What show do I have ! However, I pinches down 
 to meet your poverty. Put up what stuff you has. 
 
 " The avaricious gent slowly gets up his last 
 peso; he s out on a limb, an he somehow begins to 
 feel it. When the money s up, Cherokee throws 
 down three aces an a pa r of nines, an* rakes the 
 dust. 
 
 " Next time/ says Cherokee, don t come 
 fomentin round poker games which is strangers to 
 you complete. Moreover, don t let a gent talk 
 you into fal cies touchin his hand. Which I m the 
 proud proprietor of them three aces when I breaks 
 the pot. You-all lose this time ; but if you ll only 
 paste them dogmas I gives you in your sombrero, an 
 read em over from time to time, you ll notice 
 they flows a profit. We three, concloodes Cherokee, 
 turnin ag in to Dan an Ellis, will now resoome 
 our wrong-doin at the p int where this yere former 
 plootocrat interrupts. A benign Providence has 
 fixed me plenty strong. Wherefore, if either of 
 you sports should tap me for a handful of hundreds, 
 them veins of mine will stand the drain. Dan, it s 
 your deal/ " 
 
CHAPTER VTIL 
 The Treachery of Curly Ben. 
 
 "YERE! you black boy, Tom!" and the Old 
 Cattleman s voice rose loudly as he commanded the 
 approach of that buoyant servitor, who supervised 
 his master s destinies, and performed in the 
 triangular role of valet, guardian and friend. 
 " Yere, you ; go to the barkeep of this tavern an 
 tell him to frame me up a pitcher of that peach 
 brandy an* honey the way I shows him how. 
 An when he s got her organized, bring it out to 
 us with two glasses by the fire. You-all ain t filin* 
 no objections to a drink, be you ? " This last was 
 to me. "As for me, personal," he continued, 
 " you can put down a bet I m as dry as a covered 
 bridge." 
 
 I readily assented to peach and honey. I would 
 agree to raw whiskey if it were needed to appease 
 him and permit me to remain in his graces. 
 
 " Thar s one thing, one redeemin thing I might 
 say, about the East," he went on, when the peach 
 and honey appeared, " an the same claims my re 
 spects entire; that s its nose-paint. Which we 
 shorely suffers in the Southwest from beverages of 
 the most ornery kind." 
 
9 "Wolfville Days. 
 
 " There s a word I ve wanted to ask you about 
 more than once," I said. " What do you mean by 
 ornery, and where do you get it ? " 
 
 " Where do I get it ? " he responded, with a tinge 
 of scorn. " Where do I rope onto any word ? I 
 jest nacherally reaches out an acquires it a whole 
 lot, like I do the rest of the language I employs. 
 As for what it means, I would have allowed that 
 any gent who escapes bein as weak-minded as 
 Thompson s colt an that cayouse is that imbecile 
 he used to swim a river to get a drink would 
 hesitate with shame to ask sech questions. 
 
 " Ornery is a word the meanin* whereof is 
 goin to depend a heap on what you brands with 
 it." This was said like an oracle. " Also, the 
 same means more or less, accordin to who-all puts 
 the word in play. I remembers a mighty decent 
 sort of sport, old Cape Willingham it is; an yet 
 Dan Boggs is forever referrin* to old Cape as 
 ornery. An* I reckon Dan thinks he is. Which 
 the trouble with Cape, from Dan s standp int, is 
 this : Cape is one of these yere precise parties, 
 acc rate as to all he does, an plenty partic lar about 
 his looks. An Osage buck, paintin for a dance, 
 wouldn t worry more over his feachers, an the way 
 the ocher should be streaked on. 
 
 " Now this yere Cape is shy an eye, where an 
 Apache pokes it out with a lance, back in Cochise s 
 time ; an , as he regyards his countenance as 
 seem in over rocky, bein redooced to one eye as I 
 relates, he sends East an gets a glass eye. This 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben. 91 
 
 ain t where Cape s technical ties about his looks 
 trails in, however ; an , if he had paused thar in his 
 reehabilitations, Boggs allers put it up he d a-found 
 no fault. But Cape notices that about tenth drink 
 time his shore-enough eye begins for to show up 
 bloodshot, an is a bad mate for the glass eye, the 
 same bein onaffected by drink. So what does 
 Cape do but have a bloodshot eye made, an takes 
 to packin the same on his person constant. As 
 Cape drinks his forty drops all commodious, he 
 sort o keeps tabs on himse f in the lookin glass 
 back of the bar ; an when the good eye commences 
 to turn red with them libations he s countin into 
 the corral, he ups an shifts his bresh ; digs out the 
 white eye an plants the drunken eye in the place. 
 
 " Shore ! none of us cares except Dan Boggs ; but 
 Dan feels it to that extent, it s all Colonel Sterett 
 an Doc Peets an* Old Man Enright can do, added 
 to Dan s bein by nacher a born gent that a-way, to 
 keep Dan from mentionin* it to old Cape. 
 
 " * A gent who comes from a good fam ly, like 
 you-all, says Old Man Enright to Dan, sort o 
 soothin of him, oughter be removed above makin 
 comments on pore old Cape shiftin his optics. 
 Troo ! it s a weakness, but where is the sport who 
 hasn t weaknesses likewise. Which you-all is a 
 mighty sight to one side of bein perfect yourse f, 
 Dan, an yet we don t go round breakin the infor 
 mation off in you every time you makes a queer 
 play. An you must b ar with Cape, an them 
 caprices of his/ 
 
92 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 " I ain t denyin nothin , declares Dan. I m 
 the last longhorn in Wolfville to be revilin old 
 Cape, an refoosin him his plain American right to 
 go pirootin* round among his eyes as suits his 
 taste. But I m a mighty nervous man that a-way, 
 an Cape knows, or oughter know, how, as I states, 
 I m nacherally all onstrung, an that his carryin s on 
 with them eyes gives me the fantods. Onder all 
 the circumstances, I claims his conduct is ornery, 
 an not what a invalid like me has a right to expect/ 
 
 " No ; Dan never says nothin to Cape; or does 
 anythin cept talk to Enright an the rest of us 
 about how he can t stand Cape shiftin them eyes. 
 An it ain t affectation on the part of Dan ; he 
 shorely feels them shifts. Many a time, when it s 
 got to be red eye time with Cape, an as the latter 
 is scroop lously makin said transfers, have I beheld 
 Dan arise in silent agony, an go to bite hunks outen 
 a pine shelf that is built on the Red Light wall. 
 
 " Which that ornery Cape, says Dan, as he picks 
 the splinters from his mouth after sech exercises, 
 would drive me as locoed as a coyote if I don t 
 take refooge in some sech play like that. 
 
 " But, as I su gests about this term ornery ; it 
 depends a lot on who uses it, an what for. Now Dan 
 never refers to old Cape except as ornery ; while 
 Enright an* the rest of us sees nothin from soda to 
 hock in Cape, doorin them few months he mingles 
 with us, which merits sech obloquys. 
 
 " No ; ornery is a word that means what it says 
 an is shore deescriptif. Coyotes is ornery, sheep is 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben, 93 
 
 ornery ; an* them low-flung hoomans who herds 
 sheep is ornery, speshul. Of course, the term has 
 misapplications ; as an extreme case, I ve even 
 heard ign rant tenderfeet who alloodes to the whole 
 West as ornery. But them folks is too debased 
 an* too darkened to demand comments." 
 
 "You are very loyal to the West," I remarked. 
 
 " Which I shorely oughter be," retorted the old 
 gentleman. " The West has been some loyal to 
 me. Troo ! it stands to reason that a party fresh 
 from the East, where the horns has been knocked 
 offen everythin for two or three hundred years, 
 an conditions gen ral is as soft as a goose-ha r pil 
 low, is goin to notice some turgid changes when he 
 lands in Arizona. But a shorthorn, that a-way, 
 should reserve his jedgment till he gets acquainted, 
 or gets lynched, or otherwise experiences the West 
 in its troo colors. While Arizona, for speciment, 
 don t go up an put her arms about the neck of 
 every towerist that comes chargin into camp, her 
 failure to perform said rites arises rather from 
 dignity than hauteur. Arizona don t put on dog ; 
 but she has her se f-respectin* ways, an stands a pat 
 hand on towerists. 
 
 " If I was called on to lay out a system to guide 
 a tenderfoot who is considerin on makin Arizona 
 his home-camp, I d advise him to make his deboo 
 in that territory in a sperit of ca m an* silent se f- 
 reliance. Sech a gent might reside in Wolfville, 
 say three months. He might meet her citizens, 
 buck her faro-banks, drink her nose-paint, shake a 
 
94 Wolfville Days. 
 
 \ 
 
 hilarious hoof in her hurdy gurdies, ask for his let. 
 ters, or change in whatever sums seems meet to him 
 at the New York Store for shirts. Also, he might 
 come buttin along into the O. K. Restauraw three 
 times a day with the balance of the band, an Missis 
 Rucker would shorely turn her grub-game for him, 
 for the limit if he so pleased. But still, most likely 
 every gent in camp would maintain doorin his 
 novitiate a decent distance with this yere stranger; 
 they wouldn t onbuckle an be drunk with him free 
 an* social like, an* with the bridle off, like pards 
 who has crossed the plains together an seen ex 
 tremes. All this, with a chill onto it, a tenderfoot 
 would find himse f ag inst for the first few months 
 in Wolfville. 
 
 " An yet, my steer to him would be not to get 
 discouraged. The camp s sizin him up ; that s all. 
 If he perseveres, ca m an c llected like I states, 
 along the trail of his destiny, he ll shore come win 
 ner on the deal. At the end of three months, or 
 mebby in onusual cases four months, jest as this yere 
 maverick is goin into the dance hall, or mebby the 
 Red Light, some gent will chunk him one in the 
 back with his shet fist an say, How be you ? You 
 double-dealin , cattle-stealin , foogitive son of a mur- 
 dererin* hoss-thief, how be you? 
 
 " Now, right thar is whar this yere shorthorn 
 wants to maintain his presence of mind. He don t 
 want to go makin* no vain plays for his six-shooter, 
 or indulge in no sour ranikaboo retorts. That gent 
 likes him. With Wolfville social conditions, this 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben* 95 
 
 yere greetirT is what you sports who comes from 
 the far No th calls the beginnin of the thaw. 
 The ice is breakin up ; an if our candidate sets in 
 his saddle steady an with wisdom at this back- 
 thumpin , name-callin epock, an don t take to 
 millin round for trouble, in two minutes him an* 
 that gregar ous gent who s accosted him is drinkin 
 an fraternizin together like two stage hold-ups in 
 a strange camp. The West ain t ornery ; she s sim 
 ply reserved a whole lot. 
 
 " Mighty likely now," continued my friend, fol 
 lowing a profound pause which was comfortably 
 filled with peach and honey ; " it s mighty likely 
 now, comin* down to folks, that the most ornery 
 party I ever knows is Curly Ben. This yere Ben is 
 killed, final ; downed by old Captain Moon. Thar s 
 a strange circumstance attending as the papers say, 
 the obliteration of this Curly Ben, an it makes a 
 heap of an impression on me at the time. It shows 
 how the instinct to do things, that a gent is allers 
 carryin* round in his mind, gets sort o located in 
 his nerves mebby, an he ll do em without his in 
 tellects ridin herd on the play do em like Curly 
 Ben does, after his light is out complete. 
 
 "This yere is what I m trailin up to: When 
 Captain Moon fetches Curly Ben that time, Curly 
 is playin* kyards. He s jest dealin , when, onbe- 
 known to him, Moon comes Injunin* up from the 
 r ar surreptitious, an* drills Curly Ben through the 
 head ; an the bullet bein a 45 Colt s for Moon 
 ain t toyin* with Curly an* means business goes 
 
96 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 plumb through an emerges from onder Curly Ben s 
 off eye. For that matter, it breaks the arm of a 
 party who s playin opp site to Curly, an* who is 
 skinnin his pasteboards at the time, thinkin* noth- 
 in* of war. Which the queer part is this: Curly, as 
 I states an he never knows what hits him, an* is 
 as dead as Santa Anna in a moment is dealin the 
 kyards. He s got the deck in his hands. An yet, 
 when the public picks Curly off the floor, he s 
 pulled his two guns, an has got one cocked. Now 
 what do you-all deem of that for the workin of a 
 left-over impulse when a gent is dead ? 
 
 " But, as I remarks yeretofore, Curly Ben is the 
 most ornery person I ever overtakes, an* the feelin s 
 of the camp is in nowise laid waste when Moon 
 adds him to the list that time in the Red Light 
 bar. It s this a-way : 
 
 " It s about a month before, when Captain Moon 
 an his nephy, with two 8-mule teams and four big 
 three-an -a-half Bain wagons, two lead an two trail 
 they be, comes freightin out of Silver City with 
 their eyes on Wolfville. It s the fourth night out, 
 an they re camped near a Injun agency. About 
 midnight a half dozen of the bucks comes scoutin* 
 round their camp, allowin to a moral certainty 
 they ll see what s loose an little enough for em to 
 pull. The aborigines makes the error of goin* up 
 the wind from Moon s mules, which is grazin about 
 with hobbles on, an them sagacious anamiles actoo- 
 ally has fits. It s a fact, if you want to see a mule 
 go plumb into the air an remain, jest let him get a 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben* 97 
 
 good, ample, onmistakable smell of a Injun ! It 
 simply onhinges his reason ; he ain t no more re 
 sponsible than a cimmaron sheep. No, it ain t 
 that the savage is out to do anything oncommon 
 to the mule ; it s merely one of the mule s illoosions, 
 as I ve told you once before. Jest the same, if 
 them Injuns is comin to braid his tail an braid 
 it tight, that mule couldn t feel more frantic. 
 
 " When these yere faithful mules. takes to surgin* 
 about the scene on two feet, Moon s nephy grabs a 
 Winchester an* pumps a load or so into the dark 
 ness for gen ral results. An* he has a heap of luck. 
 He shorely stops one of them Apaches in his lopin 
 up an* down the land for good an all. 
 
 "In less than no time the whole tribe is down on 
 Captain Moon an* his nephy, demandin blood. 
 Thar s plenty of some sorts of wisdom about a sav 
 age, an these yere Apaches ain t runnin right in 
 on Moon an his relatif neither. They was per- 
 feckly familiar with the accoomulation of cartridges 
 in a Winchester, an tharfore goes about the stirrin* 
 up of Moon an that nephy plumb wary. 
 
 " Moon an the boy goes in between the wagons, 
 blazin an bangin away at whatever moves or 
 makes a noise ; an* as they ve been all through 
 sech festivals before, they regyards their final 
 chances to be as good as an even break, or better. 
 
 " While them Apaches is dodgin about among 
 the rocks, an* howlin contempt, an passin resoloo- 
 tions of revenge touchin the two Moons, the Injun 
 agent comes troopin along. He seeks to round-up 
 
, . 
 his s; 
 
 "Wolfville Days* 
 
 u s savages an* herd em back to the agency. The 
 Apaches, on their side, is demandin the capture of 
 the nephy Moon for sp ilin one of their young 
 men. 
 
 "The agent is a prairie dog jest out from the 
 East, an* don t know half as much about what s 
 goin on inside of a Apache as a horned toad. He 
 comes down to the aige of hostil ties, as you-all 
 might call it, an* makes Moon an his Winchester 
 workin nephy a speech. He addresses em a whole 
 lot on the enormity of downin Apaches who goes 
 prowlin about an* scarin up your mules at mid 
 night, in what this yere witless agent calls a motif 
 of childish cur osity ; an he winds up the powwow 
 with demandin the surrender of the hom cide. 
 
 " Surrender nothin ! says Captain Moon. * You 
 tell your Injuns to line out for their camp ; an* 
 don t you yourse f get too zealous neither an come 
 too clost, or as shore as I casts my first vote for 
 Matty Van Buren, I ll plug you plumb center. 
 
 " But the nephy, he thinks different. In spite of 
 Captain Moon s protests, he gives himse f up to the 
 agent on the promise of protection. 
 
 " You re gone, lad, says Moon, when the nephy 
 insists on yieldin ; * you won t last as long as a 
 pint of whiskey in a five-hand poker game. 
 
 " But this yere young Moon is obdurate an* goes 
 over an gives himse f to the agent, who puts it up 
 he ll send him to Prescott to be tried in co t for 
 beefin the mule-thief Apache that a-way. 
 
 " Shore ! it turns out jest as Captain Moon says. 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben* 99 
 
 Before they d gone a half mile, them wards of the 
 gov ment, as I once hears a big chief from Wash- 
 in ton call em, takes the nephy from this yere 
 fallacious agent an by fourth drink time that 
 mornin , or when it s been sun-up three hours, that 
 nephy is nothin but a mem ry. 
 
 " How do they kill him ? In a fashion which, 
 from the coigne your Apache views things, does 
 em proud. That nephy is immolated as follows: 
 They ropes him out, wrist an ankle, with four 
 lariats ; pegs him out like he s a hide they re goin* 
 to dry. Thar s a big ant hill close at hand ; it s 
 with reference to this yere ant colony that the 
 nephy is staked out. In three hours from the time 
 them ants gets the word from the Apaches, they ve 
 done eat the nephy up, an the last vestitch of him 
 plumb disappears with the last ant, as the latter re- 
 soomes his labors onder the earth. 
 
 " Why, shore ! these yere ants ll eat folks. They 
 regyards sech reepasts as festivals, an seasons of 
 reelaxatlon from the sterner dooties of a ant. I 
 recalls once how we loses Locoed Charlie, which 
 demented party I b lieve I mentions to you prior. 
 This yere Charlie takes a day off from where he s 
 workin at least he calls it labor at the stage 
 corrals, an goes curvin over to Red Dog. Charlie 
 tanks up on the whiskey of that hamlet, compared 
 to which the worst nose-paint ever sold in Wolfville 
 is nectar. They palms off mebby it s a quart of 
 this jooce on Charlie, an then he p ints out for 
 Wolfville. 
 
ioo Wolfville Days* 
 
 " That s the last of the pore drunkard. His pony 
 is nickerin about the corral gates, pleadin with the 
 mules inside to open em, in the mornin , but no 
 sign or smoke of Locoed Charlie. An he never 
 does show up no more. 
 
 " If it s Enright or Cherokee Hall, or any val- 
 yooed citizen, thar would have issooed forth a war 
 party, an Red Dog would have been sacked an 
 burned but what the missin gent would have been 
 turned out. But it s different about Locoed 
 Charlie. He hadn t that hold on the pop lar heart ; 
 didn t fill sech a place in the gen ral eye; an* so, 
 barrin a word or two of wonder, over their drinks 
 at the Red Light, I don t reckon now the Wolfville 
 folks disturbs themse fs partic lar about the camp 
 bein* shy Charlie. 
 
 44 It s the second day when a teamster, trackin* 
 over from Red Dog, developes what s left of Locoed 
 Charlie. He falls off his hoss, with that load of 
 Red Dog whiskey, an* every notion or idee or sen 
 sation absolootely effaced. An where Charlie 
 loses is, he falls by a ant hill. Yes ; they shorely 
 takes Charlie in. Thar s nothin left of him when 
 the teamster locates the remainder, but his clothes, 
 his spurs an his natomy. The r ar gyard of them 
 ants has long since retired with the final fragments 
 of Locoed Charlie. 
 
 " You-all might o seen the story. Colonel Ster- 
 ett writes it up in the Coyote, an heads it, Hunger 
 is a Terrible Thing/ This sot Charlie comin to 
 his death that a-way puts a awful scare over Hug- 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben. 101 
 
 gins an Old Monte. It reforms em for more n 
 two hours. Huggins, who is allers frontin* up as 
 one who possesses public sperit, tries to look plumb 
 dignified about it, an* remarks to DaveTutt in the 
 New York Store as how he thinks we oughter 
 throw in around an build a monument to Locoed 
 Charlie. Dave allows that, while he s with Hug- 
 gins in them projecks, he wants to add a monument 
 to the ants. The founders of the scheme sort o* 
 splittin at the go-in that a-way, it don t get no 
 further, an* the monument to Locoed Charlie, as 
 a enterprise, bogs down. But to continyoo on 
 the trail of Captain Moon. 
 
 " Moon comes rumblin into Wolfville, over-doo 
 mebby it s two weeks, bringin both teams. Thar- 
 upon he relates them outrages. Thar s but one 
 thought ; that agent has lived too long. 
 
 " If he was the usual common form of felon, 
 says Enright, Undoubted for it would be their 
 dooty the vig lance committee local to them parts 
 would string him up. But that ain t possible ; 
 this yere miscreant is a gov ment official an wears 
 the gov ment brand, an even the Stranglers, of 
 whatever commoonity, ain t strong enough, an* 
 wouldn t be jestified in stackin in ag in the 
 gov ment. Captain Moon s only show is a feud. 
 He oughter caper over an , as private as possible, 
 arrogate to himse f the skelp of this yere agent who 
 abandons his relatif to them hostiles. 
 
 "Wolfville listens to Captain Moon s hist ry of 
 his wrongs ; but aside from them eloocidations of 
 
102 -Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 Enright, no gent says much. Thar s some games 
 where troo p liteness consists in sayin nothin an 
 knowin less. But the most careless hand in camp 
 can see that Moon s aimin at reprisals. 
 
 " This Curly Ben is trackin about Wolfville at 
 the time. Curly ain t what you-all would call a 
 elevated character. He s a rustler of cattle, an* a 
 smuggler of Mexican goods, an Curly an the Yoo- 
 nited States marshals has had more turn-ups than 
 one. But Curly is dead game ; an* so far, he 
 manages to either out-luck or out-shoot them magis 
 trates ; an , as I says, when Moon comes wanderin 
 in that time, mournin for his nephy, Curly has been 
 projectin about camp for like it s a week. 
 
 " Moon sort o roommates on the play, up an* 
 down, for a day or so, makin out a plan. He don t 
 want to go back himse f ; the agent knows him, an* 
 them Injuns knows him, an* it s even money, if he 
 comes pokin* into their bailiwick, they ll tumble to 
 his errant. In sech events, they re shore doo to 
 corral him an give them ants another holiday. It s 
 the ant part that gives pore Captain Moon a chill. 
 
 " * I ll take a chance on a bowie knife, says Moon 
 to Dan Boggs, Dan, bein a sympathetic gent an* 
 takin nacherally to folks in trouble, has Moon s con- 
 fidence from the jump ; I ll take a chance on a 
 bowie knife ; an* as for a gun, I simply courts the 
 resk. But them ants dazzles me I lay down to 
 ants, an I looks on it as no disgrace to a gent to 
 say so/ 
 
 " Ants shorely do sound poignant, admits Dan; 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben* 103 
 
 speshully them big black an* red ants that has 
 stingers like hornets an pinchers like bugs. Seen 
 insecks, armed to the teeth as they be, an laid out 
 to fight both ways from the middle, is likewise too 
 many for me. I would refoose battle with em my- 
 se f. 
 
 " It ain t long before Captain Moon an Curly Ben 
 is seen confidin an conferrin with one another, an 
 drinkin by themse fs ; an* no one has to be told 
 that Moon s makin negotiations with Curly to ride 
 over an down the agent. The idee is pecooliarly 
 grateful to Wolfville. It stands to win no matter 
 how the kyards lay in the box. If Curly fetches 
 the agent flutterin from his limb, thar s one mis 
 creant less in Arizona; if the agent gets the drop 
 an puts out Curly Ben, it comes forth jest the same. 
 It s the camp s theery that, in all that entitles em 
 to death, the case stands hoss an* hoss between the 
 agent an Curly Ben. 
 
 " An if they both gets downed, it s a whip-saw , 
 we win both ways ; says Cherokee Hall, an* the 
 rest of us files away our nose-paint in silent assent 
 tharwith. 
 
 " It comes out later that Moon agrees to give 
 Curly Ben fifteen hundred dollars an a pony, if 
 he ll go over an kill off the agent. Curly Ben says 
 the prop sition is the pleasantest thing he hears 
 since he leaves the Panhandle ten years before ; an 
 so he accepts five hundred dollars an* the pony 
 the same bein* in the nacher of payments in advance 
 an goes clatterin off up the canyon one evenin* 
 
104 Wolfville Days. 
 
 on his mission of jestice. An then we hears no 
 more of Curly Ben for about a month. No one 
 marvels none at this, however, as downin any given 
 gent is a prop sition which in workin out is likely 
 to involve delays. 
 
 " One day, with onruffled brow an an air all 
 careless an free, Curly Ben rides into Wolfville an* 
 begins orderin whiskey at the Red Light before 
 he s hardly cl ar of the saddle. Thar ain t nobody in 
 camp, from Doc Peets to Missis Rucker, but what s 
 eager to know the finish of Curly s expedition, but 
 of course everybody hobbles his feelin s in them 
 behalfs. It s Captain Moon s fooneral, an he 
 oughter have a first, oninterrupted say. Moon 
 comes up to Curly Ben where Curly is cuttin the 
 alkali dust outen his throat at the Red Light bar. 
 
 " * Did you get him ? Moon asks after a few p lite 
 preeliminaries. Did you bring back his ha r an 
 y ears like we agrees ? 
 
 " Have you-all got the other thousand ready/ 
 says Curly Ben, in the event I do ? 
 
 " Right yere in my war-bags, says Moon, 
 1 awaitin to make good for your time an talent an* 
 trouble in revengin my pore nephy s deemise by way 
 of them insecks. An Moon slaps his pocket as 
 locatin the dinero. 
 
 " Well, I don t get him, says Curly Ben ca mly, 
 settin his glass on the bar. 
 
 " Thar s a pause of mebby two minutes, doorin 
 which Moon looks cloudy, as though he don t like 
 the way the kyards is comin ; Curly Ben, on his 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben* 105 
 
 part, is smilirv like what Huggins calls one of his 
 songstresses over in the Bird Cage Op ry House. 
 After a bit, Moon resoomes them investigations. 
 
 " Don t I give you four stacks of reds an a pony/ 
 he says, to reepair to that murderer an floor-manage 
 his obsequies ? An don t I promise you eight 
 stacks more when you reports with that outcast s 
 y ears an ha r, as showin good faith? 
 
 " C rrect ; every word, says Curly Ben, lightin a 
 seegyar an then leanin his elbows on the bar, aheap 
 onmoved. 
 
 " Which I would admire to know, then, says 
 Moon, an his eyes is gettin little an hard, why 
 you-all don t made good them compacts. 
 
 " Well, I ll onfold the reasons an make it as 
 plain an cl ar an convincin as a spade flush/ says 
 Curly Ben. When I gets to this yere victim of 
 ours, I finds him to be a mighty profoose an lavish 
 form of sport. The moment I m finished explainin 
 to him my mission, an* jest as I onlimbers my six- 
 shooter to get him where he lives, he offers me 
 five thousand dollars to comeback yere an kill you. 
 Nacherally, after that, me an this yere subject of our 
 plot takes a few drinks, talks it over, an yere I be. 
 
 " But what be you aimin to do ? asks Moon. 
 
 " What be you aimin to do ? responds Curly 
 Ben. As I states, he s shore the most ornery 
 coyote ! 
 
 " I don t onderstand/ says Moon. 
 
 " Why it s as obv ous/ retorts Curly Ben, * as the 
 Fence Rail brand, an that takes up the whole side 
 
io6 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 of a cow. The question now is, do you raise this 
 yeregent? He raises you as I explains; now do 
 you quit, or tilt him, say, a thousand better? 
 
 " An suppose I don t ? says Moon, sort o* fig- 
 gerin for a moment or so. What do you reckon now 
 would be your next move ? 
 
 " * Thar would be but one thing to do, says Curly 
 Ben mighty placid ; Td shorely take him. I would 
 proceed with your destruction at once, an* return 
 to this agent gent an* accept that five thousand dol 
 lar honorarium he offers. 
 
 " Curly Ben is bad plumb through, an* the 
 sights, as they says in the picturesque language of 
 the Southwest, has been filed from his guns for many 
 years. Which this last is runnin* in Moon s head 
 while he talks with his disgustin emmissary. Moon 
 ain t out to take chances on gettin the worst of it. 
 An tharfore, Moon at once waxes cunnin a whole 
 lot. 
 
 " I m a pore man/ he says, but if it takes them 
 teams of mine, to the last tire an the last hoof, I ve 
 got to have this agent s ha r an* y ears. You camp 
 around the Red Light awhile, Curly, till I go over 
 to the New York Store an see about more money. 
 I ll be back while you re layin out another drink/ 
 
 " Now it s not to the credit of Curly, as a crim - 
 nal who puts thought into his labors, that he lets 
 Captain Moon turn his flank the easy way he does. 
 It displays Curly as lackin* a heap in mil tary 
 genius. I don t presoome to explain it ; an* it s all 
 so dead onnacheral at this juncture that the only 
 
The Treachery of Curly Ben. 107 
 
 s lootion I m cap ble of givin it is that it s pree* 
 destinated that a-way. Curly not only lets Moon 
 walk off, which after he hangs up that bluff about 
 takin* them terms of the agent s is mighty irreg lar, 
 but he s that obtoose he sits down to play kyards, 
 while he s waitin , with his back to the door. Why ! 
 it s like sooicide ! 
 
 "Moon goes out to his wagons an* gets, an 
 buckles on, his guns. Quick, crafty, brisk as a cat 
 an with no more noise, Moon comes walkin* into 
 the Red Light door. He sees Curly where he sits 
 at seven-up, with his back turned towards him. 
 
 " * One for jack ! says Curly, turnin* that fav rite 
 kyard. Moon sort o drifts to his r ar. 
 
 " * Bang ! says Moon s pistol, an* Curly falls 
 for ards onto the table, an then onto the floor, the 
 bullet plumb through his head, as I informs you. 
 
 " Curly Ben never has the shadow of a tip ; he s 
 out of the Red Light an into the regions beyond, 
 like snappin your thumb an* finger. It s as sharp 
 as the buck of a pony ; he s Moon s meat in a 
 minute. 
 
 " No ; thar s nothin for Wolfville to do. Moon s 
 jestified. Which his play is the one trail out ; for 
 up to that p int where Moon onhooks his guns, 
 Curly ain t done nothin to put him in reach of the 
 Stranglers. Committees of vig lance, that a-way, 
 like shore-enough co ts, can t prevent crime; they 
 only punish it, an* up to where Moon gets decisive 
 action, thar s no openin by which the Stranglers 
 could cut in on the deal. Yes, Enright convenes 
 
io8 Wolfville Days* 
 
 his committee an goes through the motions of 
 tryin Moon. They does this to preserve appear 
 ances, but of course they throws Moon loose. An* 
 as thar s reasons, as any gent can see, why no one 
 cares to have the story as it is, be made a subject 
 of invidious gossip in Red Dog, an other outfits 
 envious of Wolfville, at Enright s su gestion, the 
 Stranglers bases the acquittal of Moon on the fact 
 that Curly Ben deloodes Moon s sister, back in the 
 States, an then deserts her. Moon cuts the trail of 
 the base sedoocer in Wolfville, an gathers him in 
 accordin , an as a brother preyed on by his sister s 
 wrongs is shorely expected to do." 
 
 " But Curly Ben never did mislead Moon s sister, 
 did he ? " I asked, for the confident fashion where 
 with my old friend reeled off the finding of Wolf- 
 ville s vigilance committee, and the reasons, almost 
 imposed on me. 
 
 " Which you can bet the limit," he observed 
 fiercely, as he prepared to go into the hotel ; " which 
 you can go the limit open, son, Curly ain t none 
 too good." 
 
CHAPTER DL 
 
 Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences* 
 
 " AN who is Colonel William Greene Sterett, 
 you asks ? " repeated the Old Cattleman, with some 
 indignant elevation of voice. " He s the founder 
 of the Coyote, Wolfville s first newspaper ; is as 
 cultivated a gent that a-way as acquires his nose- 
 paint at the Red Light s bar ; an comes of as 
 good a Kaintucky fam ly as ever distils its own 
 whiskey or loses its money on a hoss. Son, I tells 
 you this prior." This last reproachfully. 
 
 " No ; Colonel Sterett ain t old none not what 
 you-all would call aged. When he cornes weavin 
 into Wolfville that time, I reckons now Colonel 
 Sterett is mighty likely about twenty-odd years 
 younger than me, an* at that time I shows about 
 fifty rings on my horns. As for eddication, he s 
 shore a even break with Doc Peets ; an as I remarks 
 frequent, I never calls the hand of that gent in 
 Arizona who for a lib ral enlightenment is 
 bullsnakes to rattlesnakes with Peets. 
 
 " Speakin about who Colonel Sterett is ; he 
 onfolds his pedigree in full one evenin when we re 
 all sort o self-herded in the New York Store. 
 Which his story is a proud one ; an* I m a jedge 
 
no "Wolfville Days* 
 
 because comin as I do from Tennessee myse f, 
 nacherally I saveys all about Kaintucky. Thar s 
 three grades of folks in Kaintucky, the same bein 
 contingent entire on whereabouts them folks is 
 camped. Thar s the Bloo Grass deestrict, the 
 Pennyr yal deestrict, an the Purchase. The Bloo 
 Grass folks is the ristocrats, while them low-flung 
 trash from the Purchase is a heap plebeian. The 
 Pennyr yal outfit is kind o hesitatin round between 
 a balk an a break-down in between the other 
 two, an* is part ristocratic that a-way an part mud. 
 As for Colonel Sterett, he s pure strain Bloo Grass, 
 an* he shows it. I ll say this for the Colonel, 
 an it shorely knits me to him from the first, he 
 could take a bigger drink of whiskey without sugar 
 or water than ever I sees a gent take in my life. 
 
 " That time I alloods to, when Colonel Sterett 
 vouchsafes them recollections, we-all is in the 
 r ar wareroom of the New York Store where the 
 whiskey bar ls be, samplin some Valley Tan that s 
 jest been freighted in. As she s new goods, that 
 Valley Tan, an as our troo views touchin its 
 merits is important to the camp, we re testin the 
 beverage plenty free an copious. No expert gent 
 can give opinions worth a white chip concernin* nose- 
 paint short o six drinks, an we wasn t out to make 
 no errors in our findin s about that Valley Tan. 
 So, as I relates, we re all mebby some five drinks 
 to the good, an* at last the talk, which has strayed 
 over into the high grass an is gettin a whole lot 
 too learned an profound for most of the herd to 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences. in 
 
 cut in on, settles down between Doc Peets an 
 Colonel Sterett as bein the only two sports able to 
 protect their play tharin. 
 
 " * An you can go as far as you like on it, says 
 the Colonel to Peets, * I m plumb wise an* full 
 concernin the transmigration of souls. I gives it 
 my hearty beliefs. I can count a gent up the 
 moment I looks at him ; also I knows exactly what 
 he is before he s a hooman bein . 
 
 " That " transmigration " that a-way/ whispers 
 Dan Boggs to Cherokee Hall, ain t no fool of a 
 word. I ll prance over an pull it on Red Dog 
 to-morry. Which it s shore doo to strike em dumb/ 
 
 " Now yere s Hoppin Harry/ goes on the 
 Colonel p intin to a thin, black little felon with 
 long ha r like a pony, who s strayed over from 
 Tucson ; * I gives it out cold, meanin tharby no 
 offence to our Tucson friend I gives it out cold 
 that Hoppin Harry used to be a t rant ler. First/ 
 continyoos the Colonel, stackin Harry up mighty 
 scientific with his optic jest showin* over his glass, 
 * first I allows he s a toad. Not a horned toad, 
 which is a valyooed beast an has a mission; but 
 one of these yere ornery forms of toads which 
 infests the East. This last reptile is vulgar, 
 sluggish, a anamile of few if any virchoos ; while 
 the horned toad, so called, come right down to 
 cases, ain t no toad nohow. It s a false brand, an* 
 he don t belong with the toad herd at all. The 
 horned toad is a lizard a broad kind o lizard ; an* 
 as for bein sluggish, you let him have something on 
 
ii2 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 his mind speshul, an he ll shore go careerin* about 
 plumb swift. Moreover, he don t hop, your 
 horned toad don t, like them Eastern toads ; he 
 stands up on his toes an paces he s what we-all 
 calls on the Ohio River back in my childhood s 
 sunny hours, " a side-wheeler." Also, he s got a 
 tail. An as for sperit, let me tell you this : I has 
 a horned toad where I m camped over by the Tres 
 Hermanas, where I m deer-huntin . I wins that 
 toad s love from the jump with hunks of bread an* 
 salt hoss an kindred del cacies. He dotes on me. 
 When time hangs heavy, I entertains myse f with 
 a dooel between Augustus Augustus bein* the 
 horned toad s name , an* a empty sardine box for 
 which he entertains resentments. 
 
 " " Lay for him, Augustus ! " I d say, at the same 
 instant battin him in the nose with the box. 
 
 " Of course, Augustus ain t got savey enough to 
 realize I does it. He allows it s the box that a-way 
 makin malev lent bluffs at him. An say, pards, 
 it would have made you proud of your country an* 
 its starry flag to see Augustus arch himse f for war 
 on them o casions. 
 
 " * Not that Augustus is malignant or evil dis 
 posed, nacheral. No, sir ; I ve yet to meet up with 
 the toad who has his simple, even, gen rous temper 
 or lovin heart ; as trustful too, Augustus is, as the 
 babe jest born. But like all noble nachers, Augus 
 tus is sensitive, an he regyards them bats in the 
 nose as insults. As I says, you-all should have seen 
 him ! He d poise himse f on his toes, erect the 
 
Colonel Steretfs Reminiscences, 113 
 
 horn on his nose, same as one of these yere rhinoc 
 eroses of holy writ, an then the way Augustus 
 hooks an* harasses that offensive sardine box about 
 the camp is a lesson to folks. 
 
 "* Where s this yere Augustus now? asks Dan 
 Boggs, who s got all wropped up in the Colonel s 
 narratifs. 
 
 " Petered, says the Colonel, an* thar s feelin s in 
 his tones ; pore Augustus cashes in. He s fol- 
 lowin me about one mornin watchin me hook up 
 we was gettin ready to move camp an all inad 
 vertent I backs the wagon onto Augustus. The 
 hind wheel goes squar over him an* flattens Au 
 gustus out complete. He dies with his eyes fixed 
 on me, an his looks says as plain as language, 
 " Cheer up, Colonel ! This yere contreetemps don t 
 change my affections, for I knows it s a misdeal." 
 You-all can gamble I don t do nothin more that 
 day but mourn. 
 
 " Which I should shorely say so ! says Dan 
 Boggs, an his voice is shakin ; * a-losin of a gifted 
 horned toad like Augustus ! I d a-howled like a 
 wolf/ 
 
 " * But as I m sayin , resoomes the Colonel, after 
 comfortin himse f with about four fingers ; speakin* 
 of the transmigration of souls, I goes off wrong 
 about Hoppin Harry that time. I takes it, he 
 used to be one of these yere Eastern toads on ac 
 count of his gait. But I m erroneous. Harry, who 
 is little an spry an full of p isen that a-way, used to 
 be a t rant ler. Any gent who ll take the trouble to 
 
ii4 Wolfville Days. 
 
 recall one of these hairy, hoppin t rant ler spiders 
 who jumps sideways at you, full of rage an venom, 
 is bound to be reminded particular of Hoppin 
 Harry. 
 
 " What did you-all use to be yourse f, Colonel? 
 asks Enright, who notices that Hoppin Harry 
 is beginnin to bristle some, like he ain t pleased 
 none with these yere revelations. What for a 
 anamile was you before you re a hooman? 
 
 " I was a good-nachered hoss, says the Colonel 
 mighty confident an prompt ; I m a good-nachered 
 hoss in a country neighborhood, an* everybody rides 
 me that wants to. However, I allows we better 
 shift the subject some. If we-all talks about these 
 yere insects an* reptiles a little longer, Huggins 
 over thar whose one weakness is he s too frank 
 with an puts too much confidence in his licker 
 will have another one of them attacks of second 
 sight, which Peets cures him of that time, an com 
 mence seein a multitood of heinous visions/ 
 
 " Of course, says Enright, plumb p lite, * of 
 course, Colonel, I can tell a whole lot about your 
 fam ly by jest lookin at you ; partic lar where as at 
 present you re about ten drinks ahead ; still thar s 
 nothin gives me more pleasure than hearin about 
 the sire from the colt ; an if you won t receive it 
 resentful, I d ask you as to your folks back in 
 Kaintuck. 
 
 " As you-all knows, observes Colonel Sterett, I 
 was foaled in Kaintucky ; an I must add, I never 
 recalls that jestly cel brated commonwealth with- 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences* 115 
 
 out a sigh. Its glories, sech as they was before 
 the war, is fast departin away. In my yooth, thar 
 is nothin but a nobility in Kaintucky ; leastwise in 
 the Bloo Grass country, whereof I m a emanation. 
 We bred hosses an cattle, an* made whiskey an 
 played kyards, an the black folks does the work. 
 We descends into nothin so low as labor in them 
 halcyon days. Our social existence is made up of 
 weddin s, infares an* visitin round ; an life in the 
 Bloo Grass is a pleasant round of chicken fixin s an* 
 flour doin s from one Christmas to another/ 
 
 " Sech deescriptions, remarks Enright with emo 
 tion an drawin the back of his hand across his 
 eyes, brings back my yearlin days in good old 
 Tennessee. We-all is a heap like you Kaintucks, 
 down our way. We was a roode, exyooberant out 
 fit ; but manly an sincere. It s trooly a region 
 where men is men, as that sport common to our 
 neck of timber known as " the first eye out for a 
 quart of whiskey " testifies to ample. Thar s my 
 old dad ! I can see him yet, an yere Enright 
 closes his eyes some ecstatic. He was a shore 
 man. He stood a hundred-foot without a knot or 
 limb ; could wrastle or run or jump, an was good to 
 cut a 4-bit piece at one hundred yards, offhand, 
 with his old 8-squar rifle. He never shoots squir 
 rels, my father don t ; he barks em. An for to see 
 the skin cracked, or so much as a drop of blood on 
 one of em, when he picks it up, would have morti 
 fied the old gent to death. 
 
 " Kaintucky to a hair, assented the Colonel, 
 
n6 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 who listens to Enright plenty rapt that a-way. 
 An* things is so Arcadian ! If a gent has a hour 
 off an* feels friendly an like minglin* with his kind, 
 all he does is sa nter over an* ring the town bell. 
 Nacherally, the commoonity lets go its grip an* 
 comes troopin up all spraddled out. It don t know 
 if it s a fire, it don t know if it s a fight, it don t 
 know if it s a birth, it don t know if it s a hoss race, 
 it don t know if it s a drink ; an it don t care. The 
 commoonity keeps itse f framed up perpetyooal to 
 enjoy any one of the five, an tharfore at the said 
 summons comes troopin , as I say. 
 
 " My grandfather is the first Sterett who invades 
 Kaintucky, an my notion is that he comes curvin* 
 in with Harrod, Kenton, Boone an Simon Girty. 
 No one knows wherever does he come from ; an no 
 one s got the sand to ask, he s that dead haughty 
 an reserved. For myse f, I m not freighted to the 
 gyards with details touchin on my grandfather; he 
 passes in his chips when mebby I m ten years old, 
 an* the only things about him I m shore of as a 
 child, is that he s the greatest man on earth an owns 
 all the land south of the Ohio river. 
 
 " This yere grandfather I m talkin of, contin- 
 yoos the Colonel after ag in refreshin himse f with 
 some twenty drops, lives in a big house on a bluff 
 over-lookin* the Ohio, an* calls his place " The 
 Hill." Up across one of the big stone chimleys is 
 carved " John Sterett," that a-way ; which I men 
 tions the same as goin to show he ain t afeard 
 none of bein followed, an* that wherever he does 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences* , 117 
 
 come p intin out from, thar s no reward offered for 
 his return. 
 
 " I ain t so shore neither, interjects Texas 
 Thompson. He might have shifted the cut an 
 changed his name. Sech feats is frequent down 
 round Laredo where I hails from, an no questions 
 asked. 
 
 " * Up on the roof of his ranch/ goes on the 
 Colonel, for he s so immersed in them mem ries he 
 don t hear Texas where he rings in his theeries, up 
 on the roof my grandfather has a big bell, an the 
 rope is brought down an fetched through a auger 
 hole in the side of the house, so he can lay in bed 
 if he feels like it, an ring this yere tocsin of his 
 while so minded. An you can bet he shorely rings 
 her! Many a time an oft as a child about my 
 mother s knees, the sound of that ringin comes 
 floatin to us where my father has his house four 
 miles further down the river. On sech o casions 
 I d up an ask : 
 
 " " Whatever is this yere ringin ? " 
 
 " "Hesh, my child!" my mother would say, 
 smotherin my mouth with her hand, her voice 
 sinkin to a whisper, for as the head of the House 
 of Sterett, every one of the tribe is plumb scared of 
 my grandfather an mentions him with awe. " Hesh, 
 my child," says my mother like I relates, " that s 
 your grandfather ringin his bell." 
 
 " An from calf-time to beef-time, from the first 
 kyard out of the box down to the turn, no one 
 ever knows why my grandfather does ring it, for he s 
 
n8 Wolfville Days. 
 
 too onbendin* to tell of his own accord, an* as 
 I states prior, no one on earth has got nerve an* 
 force of character enough to ask him. 
 
 " * My own father, whose name is the same as 
 mine, bein Willyum Greene Sterett, is the oldest of 
 my grandfather s chil en. He s a stern, quiet gent, 
 an* all us young-ones is wont to step high an softly 
 whenever he s pesterin round. He respects 
 nobody except my grandfather, fears nothin but 
 gettin out of licker. 
 
 " Like my grandfather up at "The Hill," my 
 father devotes all his talents to raisin runnin* 
 hosses, an* the old farm would have been a heap 
 lonesome if thar s fewer than three hundred head a 
 nickerin about the barns an pastures. Shore ! we 
 has slaves too ; we has niggers to a stand-still. 
 
 " * As I look r arward to them days of my infancy, 
 I brings to mind a staggerin blow that neighbor- 
 hood receives. A stern-wheeler sinks about two 
 hundred yards off our landin with one thousand 
 bar ls of whiskey on board. When the news of that 
 whiskey comes flyin inland, it ain t a case of indi- 
 vidyooals nor neighborhoods, but whole counties 
 comes stampedin to the rescoo. It s no use ; the 
 boat bogs right down in the sand ; in less than an 
 hour her smoke stack is onder water. All we ever 
 gets from the wrack is the bell, the same now 
 adornin a Presbyter an church an summonin folks 
 to them services. I tells you, gents, the thoughts of 
 that Willow Run, an* we not able to save so much 
 as a quart of it, puts a crimp in that commoonity 
 
Colonel Steretfs Reminiscences* 119 
 
 they ain t yet outlived. It most drives em crazy ; 
 they walks them banks for months a-wringin their 
 hands an wishin the impossible. 
 
 " Is any one drowned ? asks Faro Nell, who 
 comes in, a moment before, an as usual plants her- 
 se f clost to Cherokee Hall. Is thar any women or 
 children aboard ? 
 
 " * Nell/ says the Colonel, * I apol gizes for my 
 ignorance, but I m bound to confess I don t know. 
 Thar s no one knows. The awful fact of them one 
 thousand bar ls of Willow Run perishin before our 
 very eyes, swallows up all else, an minor details 
 gets lost in the shuffle an stays lost for all time. 
 It s a tumble jolt to the general sens bilities, an* 
 any gent who ll go back thar yet an look hard in 
 the faces of them people, can see traces of that 
 c lamity. 
 
 " * As a child, resoomes the Colonel, I m ro 
 mantic a whole lot. I m carried away by music. 
 My fav rite airs is " Smith s March," an " Cease 
 Awhile Clarion ; Clarion Wild an Shrill." I either 
 wants something with a sob in it like " Cease 
 Awhile," or I desires War with all her horrors, 
 same as a gent gets dished up to him in " Smith s 
 March." 
 
 " * Also, I reads Scott s " Ivanhoe," an longs to 
 be a croosader, an* slay Paynims. I used to lie on 
 the bank by the old Ohio, an shet my eyes ag in 
 the brightness of the sky, an figger on them set 
 backs we d mete out to a Paynim if only we might 
 tree one once in old Kaintucky. Which that Sara- 
 
i2o Wolfville Days* 
 
 cen would have shorely become the basis of some 
 ceremonies! 
 
 " Most like I was about thirteen years old when 
 the Confederacy declar s herse f a nation, elects Jeff 
 Davis President, an fronts up for trouble. For 
 myse f I concedes now, though I sort o smothers 
 my feelin s on that p int at the time, seein we-all 
 could look right over into the state of Ohio, said 
 state bein heatedly inimical to rebellion an pawin 
 for trouble an rappin* its horns ag in the trees at 
 the mere idee ; for myse f, I say, I now concedes 
 that I was heart an soul with the South in them 
 onhappy ruptures. I breathed an lived with but 
 one ambition, which is to tear this devoted country 
 in two in the middle an leave the fragments that 
 a-way, in opposite fields. My father, stern, ca m, 
 c llected, don t share the voylence of my senti 
 ments. He took the middle ag in the ends for his. 
 The attitoode of our state is that of nootrality, an* 
 my father declar d for nootrality likewise. My 
 grandfather is dead at the time, so his example s 
 lost to us ; but my father, sort o projectin round 
 for p sition, decides it would be onfair in him to 
 throw the weight of his valor to either side, so he 
 stands a pat hand on that embroglio, declines 
 kyards, an as I states is nootral. Which I know 
 he s nootral by one thing: 
 
 " * " Willyum," he d say that a-way when he d no 
 tice me organizin to go down to the village ; 
 l< Willyum," he d say, " if anybody asks you what 
 you be, an* speshul if any of them Yankees asks 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences* 127 
 
 you, you tell em that you re Union, but you re- 
 member you re secesh." 
 
 " * The Sterett fam ly, ondoubted, is the smartest 
 fam ly in the South. My brother Jeff, who is five 
 years older than me, gives proofs of this, partic lar. 
 It s Jeff who invents that enterprise in fishin , which 
 for idleness, profit an pastime, ain t never been 
 equalled since the flood, called " Juggin for Cats." 
 It s Jeff, too, once when he ups an jines the 
 church, an is tharafter preyed on with the fact that 
 the church owes two hundred dollars, and that it 
 looks like nobody cares a two-bit piece about it 
 except jest him, who hires a merry-go-round one 
 of these yere contraptions with wooden hosses, an* 
 a hewgag playin toones in the center from Cin 
 cinnati, sets her up on the Green in front of the 
 church, makes the ante ten cents, an pays off the 
 church debt in two months with the revenoos tharof. 
 
 " As I sits yere, a relatin of them exploits, 
 an Colonel Sterett tips the canteen for another 
 hooker, as I sits yere, gents, all free an* sociable 
 with what s, bar none, the finest body of gents that 
 ever yanks a cork or drains a bottle, I ve seen the 
 nobility of Kaintucky the Bloo Grass Vere-de- 
 Veres ride up on a blood hoss, hitch the critter to 
 the fence, an throw away a fortune buckin Jeff s 
 merry-go-round with them wooden steeds. It s as 
 I says : that sanctooary is plumb out of debt an* 
 on velvet has a bank roll big enough to stopper 
 a 2-gallon jug with in eight weeks from the time 
 Jeff onfurls his lay-out an opens up his game/ 
 
122 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 " Thar s one thing," suddenly observed my aged 
 companion, as he eyed me narrowly, pausing in the 
 interesting Colonel Sterett s relation concerning his 
 family, and becoming doubly impressive with an 
 uplifted fore-finger, " thar s one thing I desires you 
 to fully grasp. As I reels off this yere chronicle, 
 you-all is not to consider me as repeatin the 
 Colonel s words exact. I ain t gifted like the 
 Colonel, an my English ain t a marker to his. The 
 Colonel carries the language quiled up an hangin 
 at the saddle horn of his intelligence, like a cow 
 puncher does his lariat. An when he s got ready 
 to rope an throw a fact or two, you should oughter 
 see him take her down an* go to work. Horn or 
 neck or any foot you says ; it s all one to the Colonel. 
 Big or little loop, in the bresh or in the open, it s a 
 cinch the Colonel fastens every time he throws his 
 verbal rope. The fact he s after that a-way, is shore 
 the Colonel s. Doc Peets informs me private that 
 Colonel Sterett is the greatest artist, oral, of which 
 his try records the brand, an you can go broke on 
 Peets s knowin*. An thar s other test mony. 
 
 " I don t lay down my hand, says Texas Thomp 
 son, one time when him an me is alone, to any gent 
 between the Rio Grande an the Oregon, on sizin* 
 up a conversation. An I ll impart to you, holdin 
 nothin back, that the Colonel is shorely the limit. 
 Merely to listen, is an embarrassment of good 
 things, like openin a five-hand jack-pot on a ace-full. 
 He can even out-talk my former wife, the Colonel 
 can, an that esteemable lady packs the record as a 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences, 123 
 
 conversationist in Laredo for five years before I 
 leaves. She s admittedly the shorest shot with her 
 mouth on that range. Talkin at a mark, or in action, 
 all you has to do is give the lady the distance an let 
 her fix her sights once, an she ll stand thar, without 
 a rest, an slam observation after observation into 
 the bull s eye till you ll be abashed. An yet, com 
 pared to the Colonel yere, that lady stutters ! * 
 
 " But now to resoome," said my friend when he 
 had sufficiently come to the rescue of Colonel 
 Sterett and given him his proper place in my estima 
 tion ; "we ll take up the thread of the Colonel s 
 remarks where I leaves off. 
 
 " My grandfather, says the Colonel, is a gent 
 of iron-bound habits. He has his rooles an he never 
 transgresses em. The first five days of the week, 
 he limits himse f to fifteen drinks per diem ; Satur 
 day he rides eight miles down to the village, casts 
 aside restraints, an goes the distance ; Sunday he 
 devotes to meditations. 
 
 " Thar s times when I inclines to the notion that 
 my grandfather possesses partic lar aptitoodes for 
 strong drink. This I ll say without no thoughts of 
 boastin , he s the one lone gent whereof I has a 
 knowledge, who can give a three-ring debauch 
 onder one canvas in one evenin . As I states, my 
 grandfather, reg lar every Saturday mornin , rides 
 down to the Center, four miles below our house, 
 an begins to crook his elbow, keepin no accounts 
 an permittin* no compunctions. This, if the old 
 gent is feelin fit an likely, keeps up about six hours ; 
 
124 "Wolfville Days, 
 
 at which epock, my grandfather is beginnin to feel 
 like his laigs is a burden an walkin a lost art. That s 
 where the pop lace gets action. The onlookers, 
 when they notes how my ancestor s laigs that a-way 
 is attemptin to assoome the soopreme direction 
 of affairs, sort o c llects him an puts him in the 
 saddle. Settin thar on his hoss, my grandfather is 
 all right. His center of grav ty is shifted an located 
 more to his advantage. I esteems it one of them 
 evidences of a sooperior design in the yooniverse, 
 an a plain proof that things don t come by chance, 
 that long after a gent can t walk none, he s plumb 
 able to ride. 
 
 " Once my grandfather is safe in his saddle, as I 
 relates, he s due him an his hoss, this last bein an 
 onusual sagacious beast which he calls his " Satur 
 day hoss " to linger about the streets, an* collab - 
 rate with the public for mebby five more drinks ; 
 followin which last libations, he goes rackin off for 
 "The Hill." 
 
 " * Up at our house on Saturdays, my father 
 allers throws a skirmish line of niggers across the 
 road, with orders to capture my grandfather as he 
 comes romancin along. An them faithful servi 
 tors never fails. They swarms down on my grand 
 father, searches him out of the saddle an packs him 
 exultin ly an lovin ly into camp. 
 
 " Once my grandfather is planted in a cha r, with 
 a couple of minions on each side to steady the deal, 
 the others begins to line out to fetch reestoratifs. 
 I m too little to take a trick myse f, an* I can remem- 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences* 125 
 
 her how on them impressif occasions, I would stand 
 an look at him. I d think to myse f I was 
 mebby eight at the time, " He s ondoubted the 
 greatest man on earth, but my ! how blurred he 
 is!" 
 
 " Which as I states yeretofore, the Sterett sys 
 tem is the patriarchal system, an one an all we 
 yields deference to my grandfather as the onchal- 
 lenged chief ot the tribe. To llustrate this: One 
 day my father, who s been tryin out a two-year-old 
 on our little old quarter-mile track, starts for The 
 Hill, takin me an* a nigger jockey, an a-leadin of 
 the said two-year-old racer along. Once we arrives 
 at my grandfather s, my father leaves us-all standin 
 in the yard and reepairs into the house. The next 
 minute him an my grandfather comes out. They 
 don t say nothin , but my grandfather goes all over 
 the two-year-old with eyes an hand for mighty 
 Likely ten minutes. At last he straightens up an* 
 turns on my father with a face loaded to the muzzle 
 with rage. 
 
 " * " Willyum Greene Sterett," he says, conferrin 
 on my parent his full name, the same bein a heap 
 ominous; "Willyum Greene Sterett, you ve 
 brought that thing to The Hill to beat my 
 Golddust." 
 
 " " Yes," says my father, mighty steady, " an 
 I ll go right out on your track now, father, an let 
 that black boy ride him, an I ll gamble you-all a 
 thousand dollars that thar two-year-old beats 
 Golddust." 
 
126 Wolfville Days, 
 
 " * " Willyum Greene Sterett," says my grand 
 father, lookin at my father an beginnin to bile, 
 " I ve put up with a heap from you. You was ow- 
 dacious as a child, worthless as a yooth, an a spend 
 thrift as a young man grown ; an a score of times 
 I ve paid your debts as was my dooty as the head 
 of the House of Sterett. But you reserves it for 
 your forty-ninth year, an when I m in my seventy- 
 ninth year, to perform your crownin outrage. 
 You ve brought that thing to The Hill to beat my 
 Golddust. Now let me tell you somethin , an* it ll 
 be water on your wheel a whole lot, to give heed to 
 that I says. You get onto your hoss, an you get 
 your child Willyum onto his hoss, an you get that 
 nigger boy onto his hoss, an you get off this Hill. 
 An as you go, let me give you this warnin . If 
 you-all ever makes a moccasin track in the mud of 
 my premises ag in, I ll fill you full of buckshot." 
 
 " * An as I says, to show the veneration in which 
 my grandfather is held, thar s not another yeep 
 out o any of us. With my father in the lead, we 
 files out for home ; an tharafter the eepisode is 
 never mentioned. 
 
 " An now, says Colonel Sterett, * as we-all is 
 about equipped to report joodiciously as to the 
 merits of the speshul cask of Valley Tan we ve 
 been samplin , I ll bring my narratif to the closin 
 chapters in the life of this grand old man. Thar s 
 this to be observed : The Sterett fam ly is eminent 
 for two things : it gets everything it needs ; an it 
 never gets it till it needs it. Does it need a gun, or 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences* 127 
 
 a boss, or a drink, the Sterett fam ly proceeds with 
 the round-up. It befalls that when my grandfather 
 passes his eightieth year, he decides that he needs 
 religion. 
 
 " * " It s about time," he says, " for me to begin 
 layin up a treasure above. I m goin on eighty- 
 one an my luck can t last forever." 
 
 " So my grandfather he sets up in bed an he 
 perooses them scriptures for four months. I tell 
 you, gents, he shorely searches that holy book a 
 whole lot. An then he puts it up he ll be baptized. 
 Also, that he ll enter down into the water an rise 
 up out of the water like it s blazoned in them texts. 
 
 " Seein she s Janyooary at the time, with two 
 foot of snow on the ground, it looks like my grand 
 father will have to postpone them rites. But he 
 couldn t be bluffed. My grandfather reaches out of 
 bed an he rings that bell I tells you-all of, an pro 
 ceeds to convene his niggers. He commands em to 
 cut down a big whitewood tree that lives down in the 
 bottoms, hollow out the butt log for a trough, an* 
 haul her up alongside the r ar veranda. 
 
 " For a week thar s a incessant " chip ! chop ! " 
 of the axes ; an then with six yoke of steers, the 
 trough is brought into camp. It s long enough an* 
 wide enough an deep enough to swim a colt. 
 
 " * The day for the baptizin is set, an the Sterett 
 fam ly comes trackin in. Thar s two hundred of 
 em, corral count. The whole outfit stands round 
 while the water is heatin for to dip the old gent. 
 My father, who is the dep ty chief an next in com- 
 
128 Wolfville Days, 
 
 mand, is tyrannizin* about an assoomin to deal the 
 game. 
 
 " Thar s a big fire at which they re heatin the 
 rocka wherewith to raise the temperatoor of the 
 water. The fire is onder the personal charge of a 
 faithful old nigger named Ben. When one of them 
 stones is red hot Ben takes two sticks for tongs an 
 drops it into the trough. Thar s a bile an a buzz 
 an a geyser of steam, an now ^n then the rock 
 explodes a lot an sends the water spoutin to the 
 eaves. It s all plenty thrillin , you can bet! 
 
 " My father, as I states, is pervadin about, so 
 clothed with dignity, bein after my grandfather 
 the next chicken on the roost, that you can t get 
 near enough to him to borry a plug of tobacco. 
 Once in a while he d shasee up an stick his hand in 
 the water. It would be too hot, mebby. 
 
 " * " Yere, you Ben !" he d roar. " What be you 
 aimin at ? Do you-all want to kill the old man ? 
 Do you think you re scaldin a havvg? " 
 
 " * Then this yere Ben would get conscience- 
 stricken an pour in a bar l or two of cold water. 
 In a minute my father would test it ag in an say : 
 
 " * " Ben, you shorely are failin in your intellects. 
 Yere this is as cold as ice ; you ll give the old man 
 a chill." 
 
 " Final, however, the water is declared right, an* 
 then out comes a brace of niggers, packin my 
 grandfather in a blanket, with the preacher preevail- 
 in over all as offishul floor-manager of the festiv ties. 
 That s how it ends : my grandfather is baptized an* 
 
Colonel Sterett s Reminiscences* 129 
 
 gets religion in his eighty-first year, A. D. ; an* two 
 days later he sets in his chips, shoves his cha r back 
 an goes shoutin home. 
 
 " * " Be I certain of heaven ? " he says to the 
 preacher, when he s down to the turn. " Be I winner 
 accordin to your rooles an tenets ? " 
 
 " " Your place is provided," says the preacher, 
 that a-way. 
 
 " * " If it s as good a place as old Kaintucky, they 
 shorely ain t goin to have no fuss nor trouble with 
 me ; an that s whatever ! " 
 
CHAPTER X. 
 How the Dumb Man Rode* 
 
 " Now, I don t reckon none," remarked the 
 Old Cattleman with a confidential air, " this yere 
 dumb man incident ever arises to my mind ag in, 
 if it ain t for a gent whose trail I cuts while I m 
 projectin round the post-office for letters. 
 
 " It s this mornin , an I m gettin letters, as I 
 states, when I catches this old party sort o beamin 
 on me frank an free, like he s shore a friendly 
 Injun. At last he sa nters over an* remarks, 
 Whatever is your callin , pard? or some sech 
 bluff as that. 
 
 " I sees he s good people fast enough ; still I 
 allows a small, brief jolt mebby does him good. 
 
 " Well/ I says, intendin to let him know I m 
 alive an wakeful that a-way ; well, whatever my 
 callin is, at least it ain t been no part of my 
 bringin up to let mere strangers stroll into the 
 corral an* cinch a saddle onto me for a conversa 
 tional canter, jest because they re disp sitioned that 
 a-way. 
 
 " No offence meant/ says the old party, an I 
 observes he grows red an ashamed plumb up to his 
 white ha r. 
 
How the Dumb Man Rode. 131 
 
 " Excuse me, amigo] I says, handin out my 
 paw, which he seizes all radiant an soon, * I ain t 
 intendin nothin blunt, nor to slam no door on 
 better acquaintance, but when you-all ropes at 
 me about what you refers to as my " callin " that 
 time, I ain t jest lookin for a stranger to take seen 
 interest in me, an I m startled into bein onp lite. 
 I tharfore tenders regrets, an , startin all over, 
 states without reserve that I m a cow man. 
 
 " * An* now, I retorts, further, merely to play my 
 hand out, an not that I looks to take a trick at 
 all, let me ask what pursoots do you p int out on 
 as a pretext for livin ? 
 
 " Me ? says the old party, stabbin at his shirt 
 bosom with his thumb ; me ? I m a scientist. 
 
 " * Which the news is exhilaratin an interestin , 
 I says; shake ag in ! If thar s one thing I 
 regyards high, it s a scientist. Whatever partic lar 
 wagon-track do you-all follow off, ma}/ I ask ? 
 
 " It s then this old gent an I la nches into a 
 gen ral discussion onder the head of mes laneous 
 business, I reckons, an he puts it up his long suit, 
 as he calls it, is moral epidemics. He says he s 
 wrote one book onto em, an sw ars he ll write 
 another if nobody heads him off ; the same bein on- 
 likely. As he sees how I m interested, the old sport 
 sets down an lays it out to me how sentiments goes 
 in herds an droves, same as weather an things like 
 that. 
 
 " Oneday you rolls out in the mornin , this old 
 gent declar s, an thar you reads how everybody 
 
132 Wolfville Days. 
 
 commits sooicide. Then some other day it s 
 murder, then robbery, an ag in, the whole round-up 
 goes to holdin* them church meetin s an gettin 
 religion. Them s waves ; moral epidemics, he says. 
 
 " Which this don t look so egreegious none as a 
 statement, neither, an* so after pow-wowin a lot, 
 all complacent an genial, I tells the old gent he s 
 got a good game, an I thinks myse f his system 
 has p ints. At this, he admits he s flattered ; an* 
 then, as we re gettin to the ends of our lariats, we 
 tips our sombreros to each other an lets it go 
 at that. To-morry he s goin to confer on me his 
 book ; which I means to read it, an* then I ll savey 
 more about his little play. 
 
 " But," continued my friend, warm with his new 
 philosophy, " this yere is all preelim nary, an* brings 
 me back to what I remarks at the jump; that 
 what that old gent urges recalls this dumb an* deef 
 man incident ; which it sort o backs his play. 
 It s a time when a passel of us gets overcome by 
 waves of sentiment that a-way, an not only turns 
 a hoss-thief loose entire, after the felon s done 
 been run down, but Boggs waxes that sloppy he 
 lavishes a hoss an saddle onto him ; likewise 
 sympathy, an wishes him luck. 
 
 " The whole racket s that onnacheral I never does 
 quit wonderin about it ; but now this old science 
 sharp expounds his theory of moral epidemics, it 
 gets cl ared up in my mind, an I reckons, as he 
 says, it s shorely one of them waves. 
 
 " Tell the story ? Thar s nothin much to said 
 
How the Dumb Man Rode* 133 
 
 yarn, only the onpreecedented leeniency wherewith 
 we winds it up. In the first place, I don t know 
 what this hoss-thief s name is, for he s plum deef 
 an dumb, an ain t sayin a word. I sees him 
 hoverin* round, but I don t say nothin to him. I 
 observes him once or twice write things to folks he 
 has to talk with on a piece of paper, but it s too 
 slow a racket for me, too much like conversin by 
 freight that a-way, an I declines to stand in on it. 
 I don t like to write well enough to go openin a 
 correspondence with strangers who s deef an dumb. 
 
 " When he first dawns on the camp, he has 
 money, moderate at least, an he gets in on poker, 
 an stud, an other devices which is open an com 
 mon ; an gents who s with him at the time says he 
 has a level notion of hands, an in the long run, 
 mebby, amasses a little wealth. 
 
 " While I ain t payin much heed to him, I do hear 
 towards the last of his stay as how he goes broke 
 ag inst faro-bank. But as gents often goes broke 
 ag inst faro-bank, an as, in trooth, I tastes sech 
 reverses once or twice myse f, the information don t 
 excite me none at the time, nor later on. 
 
 " It s mighty likely some little space since this 
 dumb person hits camp, an thar s an outfit of us 
 ramblin round in the Red Light, which, so to 
 speak, is the Wolfville Club, an killin time by 
 talkin . Dave Tutt an Texas Thompson is holdin* 
 forth at each other on the efficacy of pray r, an* 
 the balance of us is bein edified. 
 
 " It looks like Texas has been tellin of a Mex- 
 
J34 Wolfville Days. 
 
 lean he sees lynched at Laredo one time, an how a 
 tender gent rings in some orisons before ever they 
 swings him off. Texas objects to them pray rs an 
 brands em as hypocrisies. As happens frequent 
 for both is powerful debaters that a-way Dave 
 Tutt locks horns with Texas, an they both prances 
 round oratorical at each other mighty entertainin . 
 
 " Now you gents onderstand, says Texas 
 Thompson, * I ain t sayin a word about them 
 pray rs as mere supplications. I m yere to state I 
 regyards em as excellent, an thar s gents at that 
 time present who s experts in sech appeals an who 
 knows what prayin is, who allows that for fervency, 
 bottom an speed, they shorely makes the record 
 for what you might call off-hand pray rs in South 
 ern Texas. Thar ain t a preacher short of Waco or 
 Dallas could have turned a smoother trick. But 
 what I complains of is, it s onconsistent. 
 
 " However is prayin that a-way onconsistent, 
 I d shorely like to know? says Tutt, stackin* in 
 ag in Texas plenty scornful. 
 
 " * Why, this a-way, says Texas. * Yere s a gent 
 who assembles with his peers to hang a Mexican. 
 As a first flash outen the box, he puts up a strong 
 pray r talk to get this crim nal by the heavenly 
 gate. Now, whatever do you reckon a saint who 
 knows his business is goin to say to that ? Yere 
 stands this conceited Laredo party recommendin* 
 for admission on high a Mexican he s he pin to 
 lynch as not good enough for Texas. If then 1 
 powers above ain t allowin that prayin party s 
 
How the Dumb Man Rode* J3S 
 
 got his nerve with him, they ain t givin the case 
 the study which is shore its doo. 
 
 " Which I don t know! says Tutt. I don t 
 accept them views nohow. Prayin is like goin 
 blind in poker. All you do is hope a whole lot, 
 If the angels takes stock in your applications, well 
 an good. If they don t, you can gamble your 
 spurs they re plenty able to protect themse fs. 
 All you can do is file them supplications. The 
 angels lets em go or turns em down accordin . 
 Now, I holds that this Laredo sport who prays 
 that time does right. Thar s nothin like a show 
 down ; an his play, since he volunteers to ride 
 herd on the Greaser s soul, is to do all he knows, 
 an win out if he can. 
 
 " That s whatever ! says Dan Boggs, who s 
 listenin full of interest, an who allows he ll butt in 
 on the talk. I j ines with Tutt in this. My 
 notion is, when it comes a gent s turn to pray, let 
 him pray, an not go pesterin himse f with vain 
 surmises as to how it s goin to strike them hosts 
 on high. You can wager you ain t goin to ride 
 round Omnipotence none. You can draw up to 
 the layout of life, an from the cradle to the grave, 
 you ll not pick up no sleepers on Providence that 
 a-way. Now, once, when I m over across the Mo- 
 gallon Plateau, I 
 
 " But we never does hear what happens to Boggs 
 that time over across the Mogallon Plateau ; for 
 when he s that far along, one of the niggers from 
 the corral comes scurry in up an asks Texas 
 
136 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 Thompson does he lend his pinto pony an houf 
 back to the party who s deef an dumb. 
 
 " * Which I shorely don t, says Texas. * You 
 don t aim to tell me none he s done got away with 
 my pinto hoss ? 
 
 " The nigger says he does. He announces that 
 mebby an hour before, this party comes over to 
 the corral, makes a motion or two with his hands, 
 cinches the hull onto the pinto, an* lines out for 
 the northeast on the Silver City trail. He s been 
 plumb outen sight for more n half an hour. 
 
 " Which I likes that ! says Texas Thompson. 
 * For broad, open-air, noon-day hoss-stealin , I offers 
 even money this dumb gent s enterprise is entitled 
 to the red ticket. 
 
 " Which we ain t standin* thar talkin long. If 
 thar s one reform to which the entire West devotes 
 itse f, it s breakin people of this habit of hoss- 
 stealin . It ain t no time when four of us is off on 
 the dumb party s trail, an half of that is consoomed 
 in takin* a drink. 
 
 " Whyever be gents in the West so sot ag in hoss- 
 thieves ? Son, you abides in a region at once 
 pop lous an* fertile. But if you was to put in three 
 months on a cactus desert, with water holes fifty 
 miles apart, it would begin to glimmer on you as 
 to what it means to find yourse f afoot. It would 
 come over you like a landslide that the party who 
 steals your hoss would have improved your con 
 dition in life a heap if he d played his hand out by 
 shootin a hole through your heart. 
 
How the Dumb Man Rode* 13 7 
 
 " No, I ain t in no sech hurry to hang people for 
 standin in on some killin . Thar s two sides to a 
 killin ; an if deceased is framed up with a gun all 
 reg lar at the time, it goes a long way toward excul- 
 patin of the sport who outlives him. But thar 
 ain t only one side to hoss-stealin , an the sooner 
 the party s strung up or plugged, the sooner thar s 
 a vict ry for the right. 
 
 " As I remarks, it ain t two minutes when thar s 
 four of us gone swarmin off after the dumb man 
 who s got Texas Thompson s pinto pony. From 
 the tracks, he ain t makin no play to throw us off, 
 for he maintains a straight-away run down the 
 Silver City trail, an never leaves it or doubles once. 
 
 " Runnin of the dumb man down don t turn out 
 no arduous task. It s doo mainly, however, because 
 the pinto sticks a cactus thorn in its hoof an* goes 
 lame in less time tharafter than it takes to turn a 
 jack. 
 
 " Hands up/ says Texas, gettin* the drop as we 
 swings up on the deef an dumb foogitive. 
 
 " But thar s no need of sech precautions, as the 
 dumb party ain t packin* no weepons not so much 
 as a knife. 
 
 ** Thar s nothin* to say, no talk to make, when we 
 takes him. Texas hefts him outen the saddle an 
 ropes his elbows behind with a lariat. 
 
 "What do you-all su gest, gents? * says Texas. 
 I s pose now the deecorous way is to go on with this 
 yere aggressive an energetic person to them pifion 
 trees ahead, an hang him some ? 
 
138 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " Which thar s no doubts floatin* in anybody s 
 mind on that subject/ says Dan Boggs, but I d 
 shore admire to know who this party is, an where 
 he s headin to. I dislikes to stretch the neck of 
 strangers that a-way ; an if thar s any gent, now, 
 who can ask this yere person who he is, an what 
 he s got to say, I d take it as a favor, personal, if 
 he d begin makin of the needed motions. 
 
 " But thar ain t none of us can institoote them 
 gestures; an when the dumb man, on his side, puts 
 up a few bluffs with his fingers, it s a heap too com 
 plicated for us as a means of makin statements. 
 
 " I shore couldn t tell, says Dave Tutt, as he 
 sets watchin the dumb man s play, * whether he s 
 callin us names or askin for whiskey. 
 
 ** * Which if we d thought to bring some station 
 ery, says Texas, after we-all goes through our war- 
 bags in vain, we might open some successful 
 negotiations with this person. As it is, however, 
 we re plumb up ag inst it, an I reckon, Boggs, he ll 
 have to hang without you an him bein formally in- 
 trodooced. 
 
 " Jest the same, I wishes, says Dave Tutt, * that 
 Doc Peets or Enright was along. They d shore dig 
 somethin* outen this citizen/ 
 
 f " Mebby he s got papers in his wamus/ says 
 Boggs, which onfolds concernin him. Go through 
 him, Texas, anyhow. 
 
 " All Texas can find on the dumb man is one 
 letter ; the postmark, when we comes to decipher the 
 same, shows he only gets it that mornin . Besides 
 
How the Dumb Man Rode, 139 
 
 this yere single missif that a-way, thar ain t a scrap 
 of nothin else to him ; nor yet no wealth. 
 
 " Tell us what s in the letter, says Texas, turnin 
 the document over to Boggs. Read her out, Dan ; 
 I d play the hand, but I has to ride herd on the 
 culprit. 
 
 " * I can t read it, says Boggs, handin* the note to 
 Tutt ; I can t read readin , let alone writin . But 
 I m free to say, even without hearin that document 
 none, that I shorely hesitates to string this party up. 
 Bein tongueless, an not hearin a lick more n 
 adders, somehow he keeps appealin to me like he s 
 locoed. 
 
 " Which if you ever has the pleasure to play some 
 poker with him, says Tutt, as he enfolds the paper, 
 * like I do three nights ago, you wouldn t be an- 
 noyin yourse f about his bein locoed. I finds him 
 plenty deep an wary, not to say plumb crafty. 
 Another thing, it s plain he not only gets letters, 
 but we-all sees him write about his drinks to Black 
 Jack, the Red Light barkeep, an* sim lar plays. 
 
 " By this time, Tutt s got the letter open, an is 
 gettin* ready to read. The dumb man s been 
 standin* thar all the time, with his arms roped 
 behind him, an lookin like hope has died ; an 
 also like he ain t carin* much about it neither. 
 When Tutt turns open the letter, I notices the 
 tears kind o start in his eyes, same as if he s some 
 affected sentimental. 
 
 " * Which this yere commoonication is plenty 
 brief, says Tutt, as he runs his eye over it. * She s 
 
H Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 dated " Casa Grande," an reads as follows, to 
 wit : 
 
 " " Dear Ben : Myra is dyin ; come at once. A." 
 
 " Now, whoever do you reckon this yere Myra 
 is? asks Tutt, lookin round. She s cashin in, 
 that s obv ous; an I m puttin* it up she s mighty 
 likely a wife or somethin of this yere dumb party. 
 
 " That s it, says Boggs. He gets this word 
 that Myra s goin over the big divide, an bein he s 
 gone broke entire on faro-bank, he plunges over to 
 the corral an rustles Thompson s hoss. Onder sech 
 circumstances, I ain t none shore he s respons ble. 
 I takes it thar ain t much doubt but Myra s his wife 
 that a-way, in which event my idee is he only bor- 
 rys Thompson s pinto. Which nacherally, as I 
 freely concedes, this last depends on Myra s bein 
 his wife. 
 
 " Oh, not necessarily, says Texas Thompson ; 
 thar s a heap of wives who don t jestify hoss- 
 stealin a little bit. Now I plays it open, Myra s 
 this dumb gent s mother, an* on sech a theery an* 
 that alone, I removes the lariat from his arms an* 
 throws him loose. But don t try to run no wife 
 bluff on me ; I ve been through the wife question 
 with a blazin pine-knot in my hand, an thar s 
 nothin worth while concealed tharin. 
 
 " Which I adopts the amendment, says Boggs, 
 an* on second thought, I strings my chips with 
 Texas, that this yere Myra s his mother. I ve got 
 the money that says so. 
 
 " At any rate, says Tutt, from all I sees, I 
 
How the Dumb Man Rode. 141 
 
 reckons it s the general notion that we calls this 
 thing a draw. We can t afford to go makin a pree- 
 cedent of hangin a gent for hoss-stealin who s only 
 doin his best to be present at this Myra s fooneral, 
 whoever she may be. It s a heap disgustin , how 
 ever, that we can t open up a talk with this party. 
 Which I now notes by the address his name is 
 Mclntyre/ 
 
 " An* so it turns out that in no time, from four 
 gents who s dead set to hang this dumb man as a 
 hoss-thief, we turns into a sympathetic outfit which 
 is diggin holes for his escape. It all dovetails in 
 with what my scientist says this mornin about them 
 * moral epidemics/ an things goin that a-way in 
 waves. For, after all, Myra or no Myra, this yere 
 dumb man steals that pinto hoss. 
 
 " However, whether it s right or wrong, we turns 
 the dumb man free. Not only that, but Boggs gets 
 out of the saddle an* gives him his pony to pursoo 
 them rambles with. 
 
 " I gives it to him because it s the best pony in 
 the outfit/ says Boggs, lookin savage at us, as he 
 puts the bridle in the dumb gent s hands. It can 
 run like a antelope, that pony can ; an that s why 
 I donates it to this dumb party. Once he s started, 
 even if we-all changes our moods, he s shore an 
 safe away for good. Moreover, a gent whose 
 mother s dyin , can t have too good a hoss. If he 
 don t step on no more cactus, an half rides, he s 
 doo to go chargin* into Casa Grande before they 
 loses Myra, easy/ " 
 
CHAPTER XL 
 How Prince Hal Got Help. 
 
 " Come yere, you boy Tom." It was the Old 
 Cattleman addressing his black satellite. " Stam 
 pede up to them rooms of mine an fetch me my hat ; 
 the one with the snakeskin band. My head ain t 
 feelin none too well, owin to the barkeep of this 
 hostelry changin my drinks, an that rattlesnake 
 band oughter absorb them aches an clar fy my roonu 
 inations a heap. Now, vam0S/"lie continued, as 
 Tom seemed to hesitate, " the big Stetson with the 
 snakeskin onto it. 
 
 " An how be you stackin up yours ef ? " observed 
 the old gentleman, turning to me as his dark agent 
 vanished in quest of head-gear. " Which you 
 shorely looks as worn an weary as a calf jest branded. 
 It ll do you good to walk a lot ; better come with 
 me. I sort o orig nates the notion that I ll go 
 swarmin about permiscus this mornin for a hour 
 or so, an cirk late my blood, an you-all is welcome 
 to attach yourse f to the scheme. Thar s nothin 
 like exercise, that a-way, as Grief Mudlow allows 
 when he urges his wife to take in wash in . You ve 
 done heard of Grief Mudlow, the laziest maverick 
 in Tennessee ? " 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help* 143 
 
 I gave my word that not so much as a rumor of 
 the person Mudlow had reached me. My friend 
 expressed surprise. It was now that the black boy 
 Tom came up with the desired hat. Tom made his 
 approach with a queer backward and forward shuffle, 
 crooning to himself the while : 
 
 " Rain come wet me, sun come dry me, 
 Take keer, white man, don t come nigh me." 
 
 " Stop that double-shufflin* an* wing dancin ," 
 remonstrated the old gentleman severely, as he took 
 the hat and fixed it on his head. " I don t want no 
 frivolities an merry-makin s round me. Which 
 you re always jumpin an dancin like one of these 
 yere snapjack bugs. I ain t aimin at pompousness 
 none, but thar s a sobriety goes with them years of 
 mine which I proposes to maintain if I has to do it 
 with a blacksnake whip. So you-all boy Tom, you 
 look out a whole lot ! I m goin* to break you of 
 them hurdy-gurdy tendencies, if I has to make you 
 wear hobbles an* frale the duds off your back 
 besides." 
 
 Tom smiled toothfully, yet in confident fashion, 
 as one who knows his master and is not afraid. 
 
 " So you never hears of Grief Mudlow ? " he contin 
 ued, as we strolled abroad on our walk. " I reckons 
 mebby you has, for they shore puts Grief into a 
 book once, commemoratm of his laziness. How 
 lazy is he ? Well, son, he could beat Mexicans an 
 let em deal. He s raised away off east, over among 
 
i44 Wolfville Days* 
 
 the knobs of old Knox County, Grief is, an he s 
 that lazy he has to leave it on account of the hills. 
 
 " She s too noomerous in them steeps an deecliv - 
 ties, says Grief. What I needs is a landscape 
 where the prevailin feacher is the hor zontal. I was 
 shorely born with a yearn in for the level ground. 
 An so Grief moves his camp down on the river 
 bottoms, where thar ain t no hills. 
 
 " He s that mis rable idle an shiftless, this yere 
 Grief is, that once he starts huntin an* then decides 
 he won t. Grief lays down by the aige of the branch, 
 with his moccasins towards the water. It starts in 
 to rain, an the storm prounces down on Grief like 
 a mink on a settin hen. One of his pards sees 
 him across the branch an* thinks he s asleep. So he 
 shouts an yells at him. 
 
 " Whoopee, Grief ! he sings over to where Grief s 
 layin all quiled up same as a water-moccasin snake, 
 an the rain peltin into him like etarnal wrath ; wake 
 up thar an crawl for cover ! 
 
 " I m awake, says Grief. 
 
 " * Well, why don t you get outen the rain ? * 
 
 " I m all wet now an the rain don t do no hurt, 
 says Grief. 
 
 " An this yere lazy Grief Mudlow keeps on layin* 
 thar. It ain t no time when the branch begins to 
 raise ; the water crawls up about Grief s feet. So 
 his pard shouts at him some more : 
 
 " * Whoopee, you Grief ag in ! he says. * If you 
 don t pull your freight, the branch ll get you. It * 
 done riz over the stock of your rifle/ 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help. 145 
 
 " Water won t hurt the wood none, says Grief. 
 
 " You Grief over thar! roars the other after 
 awhile ; your feet an laigs is half into the branch, 
 an the water s got up to the lock of your gun. 
 
 " Thar s no load in the gun/ says Grief, still 
 a-layin , * an* besides she needs washin out. As for 
 them feet an laigs, I never catches cold/ 
 
 " An thar that ornery Grief reposes, too plumb 
 lazy to move, while the branch creeps up about him. 
 It s crope up so high, final, that his y ears an the 
 back of his head is in it. All Grief does is sort o 
 lift his chin an lay squar , to keep his nose out so s 
 he can breathe. 
 
 " An he shorely beats the game ; for the rain 
 ceases, an the branch don t rise no higher. This 
 yere Grief lays thar ontil the branch runs down an 
 he s high an dry ag in, an then the sun shines out 
 an dries his clothes. It s that same night when Grief 
 has drug himse f home to supper, he says to his 
 wife, Thar s nothin like exercise/ an then counsels 
 that lady over his corn pone an chitlins to take in 
 washin like I relates." 
 
 We walked on in mute consideration of the 
 extraordinary indolence of the worthless Mudlow. 
 Our silence obtained for full ten minutes. Then I 
 proposed " courage " as a subject, and put a ques 
 tion. 
 
 " Thar s fifty kinds of courage," responded my 
 companion, " an a gent who s plumb weak an 
 craven, that a-way, onder certain circumstances, is 
 as full of sand as the bed of the Arkansaw onder 
 
146 Wolfville Days* 
 
 others. Thar r s boss-back courage an* thar s foot 
 courage, thar s day courage an night courage, thar s 
 gun courage an knife courage, an no end of courages 
 besides. An* then thar s the courage of vanity. 
 More n once, when I m younger, I m swept down 
 by this last form of heroism, an I even recalls how 
 in a sperit of vainglory I rides a buffalo bull. I 
 tells you, son, that while that frantic buffalo is 
 squanderin about the plains that time, an me onto 
 him, he feels a mighty sight like the ridge of all 
 the yooniverse. How does it end ? It s too long 
 a tale to tell walkin an without reecooperatifs; 
 suffice it that it ends disastrous. I shall never ride 
 no buffalo ag in, leastwise without a saddle, onless 
 it s a speshul o casion. 
 
 " No, indeed, that word courage has to be 
 defined new for each case. Thar s old Tom Harris 
 over on the Canadian. I beholds Tom one time at 
 Tascosa do the most b ar-faced trick ; one which 
 most sports of common sens bilities would have 
 shrunk from. Thar s a warrant out for Tom, an 
 Jim East the sheriff puts his gun on Tom when 
 Tom s lookin t other way. 
 
 " See yere, Harris ! says East, that a-way. 
 
 " Tom wheels, an* is lookin into the mouth of 
 East s six-shooter not a yard off. 
 
 " Put up your hands ! says East. 
 
 11 But Tom don t. He looks over the gun into 
 East s eye ; an he freezes him. Then slow an 
 delib rate, an* glarin like a mountain lion at East, 
 Tom goes back after his Colt s an pulls it. He lays 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help, 147 
 
 her alongside of East s with the muzzle p intin* at 
 East s eye. An thar they stands. 
 
 " * You don t dar shoot ! says Tom ; an East 
 don t. 
 
 " They breaks away an no powder burned ; Tom 
 stands East off. 
 
 " * Warrant or no warrant/ says Tom, all the 
 sheriffs that ever jingles a spur in the Panhandle 
 country, can t take me ! Nor all the rangers 
 neither ! An they shore couldn t. 
 
 " Now this yere break-away of Tom s, when East 
 gets the drop that time, takes courage. It ain t 
 one gent in a thousand who could make that trip 
 but Tom. An yet this yere Tom is feared of a 
 dark room. 
 
 " Take Injuns ; give em their doo, even if we 
 ain t got room for them miscreants in our hearts. 
 On his lines an at his games, a Injun is as clean 
 strain as they makes. He s got courage, an can 
 die without battin an eye or waggin a y ear, once 
 it s come his turn. An the squaws is as cold a 
 prop sition as the bucks. After a fight with them 
 savages, when you goes round to count up an skin 
 the game, you finds most as many squaws lyin* 
 about, an bullets through em, as you finds bucks. 
 
 " Courage is sometimes knowledge, sometimes 
 Ignorance ; sometimes courage is desp ration, an 
 then ag in it s innocence. 
 
 " Once, about two miles off, when I m on the 
 Staked Plains, an near the aige where thar s 
 pieces of broken rock, I observes a Mexican on foot, 
 
148 Wolfville Days. 
 
 frantically chunkin* up somethin*. He s left his 
 pony standin off a little, an has with him a mighty 
 noisy form of some low kind of mongrel dog, this 
 latter standin in to worry whatever it is the Mexi 
 can s chunkin at, that a-way. I rides over to 
 investigate the war-jig; an I m a mesquite digger! 
 if this yere transplanted Castillian ain t done up a 
 full-grown wild cat ! It s jest coughin its last 
 when I arrives. Son, I wouldn t have opened a 
 game on that feline the same bein as big as a coy 
 ote, an as thoroughly organized for trouble as a 
 gatling with anythin more puny than a Win 
 chester. An yet that guileless Mexican lays him 
 out with rocks, and regyards sech feats as trivial. 
 An American, too, by merely growlin towards this 
 Mexican, would make him quit out like a jack 
 rabbit. 
 
 " As I observes prior, courage is frequent the 
 froots of what a gent don t know. Take grizzly 
 b ars. Back fifty years, when them squirrel rifles 
 is preevalent ; when a acorn shell holds a charge of 
 powder, an bullets runs as light an little as sixty- 
 four to the pound, why son ! you-all could shoot up 
 a grizzly till sundown an hardly gain his disdain. 
 It s a fluke if you downs one. That sport who can 
 show a set of grizzly b ar claws, them times, has 
 fame. They re as good as a bank account, them 
 claws be, an entitles said party to credit in dance 
 hall, bar room an store, by merely slammin em on 
 the counter. 
 
 " At that time the grizzly b ar has courage. 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help* 149 
 
 Whyever does he have it, you asks ? Because you 
 couldn t stop him ; he s out of hoomanity s reach 
 a sort o Alexander Selkirk of a b ar, an you couldn t 
 win from him. In them epocks, the grizzly b ar 
 treats a gent contemptuous. He swats him, or he 
 claws him, or he hugs him, or he crunches him, or 
 he quits him accordin to his moods, or the number 
 of them engagements which is pressin on him at the 
 time. An the last thing he considers is the feelin s 
 of that partic lar party he s dallyin with. Now, 
 however, all is changed. Thar s rifles, burnin four 
 inches of this yere fulminatin powder, that can 
 chuck a bullet through a foot of green oak. Wisely 
 directed, they lets sunshine through a grizzly b ar 
 like he s a pane of glass. An , son, them b ars is 
 plumb onto the play. 
 
 " What s the finish ? To-day you can t get clost 
 enough to a grizzly to hand him a ripe peach. 
 Let him glimpse or smell a white man, an he goes 
 scatterin off across hill an canyon like a quart of 
 licker among forty men. They re shore apprehen- 
 sife of them big bullets an hard-hittin guns, them 
 b ars is ; an they wouldn t listen to you, even if 
 you talks nothin but bee-tree an gives a bond to 
 keep the peace besides. Yes, sir ; the day when 
 the grizzly b ar will stand without hitchin has dee- 
 parted the calendar a whole lot. They no longer 
 attempts insolent an coarse familiar ties with folks. 
 Instead of regyardin a rifle as a rotton cornstalk in 
 disguise, they re as gun-shy as a female institoote. 
 Big b ars an little b ars, it s all sim lar ; for the old 
 
150 Wolfville Days, 
 
 ones tells it to the young, an the lesson is spread 
 throughout the entire nation of b ars. An yere s 
 where you observes, enlightenment that a-way 
 means a-weakenin of grizzly-b ar courage. 
 
 " What s that, son ? You-all thinks my stories 
 smell some tall ! You expresses doubts about 
 anamiles conversin with one another? That s 
 where you re ignorant. All anamiles talks ; they 
 commoonicates the news to one another like hoo- 
 mans. When I ve been freightin from Dodge 
 down towards the Canadian, I had a eight-mule 
 team. As shore as we re walkin as shore as I m 
 pinin for a drink, I ve listened to them mules gos 
 sip by the hour as we swings along the trail. Lots 
 of times I saveys what they says. Once I hears 
 the off-leader tell his mate that the jockey stick is 
 sawin him onder the chin. I investigates an finds 
 the complaint troo an relieves him. The nigh 
 swing mule is a wit ; an all day long he d be throw- 
 in* off remarks that keeps a ripple of laughter goin 
 up an down the team. You-all finds trouble cred- 
 itin them statements. Fact, jest the same. I ve 
 laughed at the jokes of that swing mule myse f; 
 an even Jerry, the off wheeler, who s a cynic that 
 a-way, couldn t repress a smile. Shore ! anamiles 
 talks all the time ; it s only that we-all hoomans 
 ain t eddicated to onderstand. 
 
 " Speakin of beasts talkin , let me impart to you 
 of what passes before my eyes over on the Caliente. 
 In the first place, I ll so far illoomine your mind 
 as to tell you that cattle, same as people an* 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help. 151 
 
 speshully mountain cattle, where the winds an 
 snows don t get to drive em an drift em south 
 lives all their lives in the same places, year after 
 year; an as you rides your ranges, you re allers 
 meetin up with the same old cattle in the same 
 canyons. They never moves, once they selects a 
 home. 
 
 " As I observes, I ve got a camp on the Caliente. 
 Thar sten ponies in my bunch, as I m saddlin three 
 a day an coverin a considerable deal of range in 
 my ridin . Seein as I m camped yere some six 
 months, I makes the aquaintance of the cattle for 
 over twenty miles round. Among others, thar s a 
 giant bull in Long s Canyon he s shorely as big as 
 a log house. Him an me is partic lar friends, only 
 I don t track up on him more frequent than onct a 
 week, as he s miles from my camp. I almost for 
 gets to say that with this yere Goliath bull is a 
 milk-white steer, with long, slim horns an a face 
 which is the combined home of vain conceit an 
 utter witlessness. This milky an semi-ediotic steer 
 is a most abject admirer of the Goliath bull, an* 
 they re allers together. As I states, this mountain 
 of a bull an his weak-minded follower lives in 
 Long s Canyon. 
 
 " Thar s two more bulls, the same bein , as Col 
 onel Sterett would say, also persons of this yere 
 dramy. One is a five-year-old who abides on the 
 upper Red River ; an the other, who is only a 
 three-year-old, hangs out on the Caliente in the 
 vicinity of my camp. 
 
152 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " Which since I ve got to talk of an concernin 1 
 them anamiles, I might as well give em their 
 proper names. They gets these last all reg lar 
 from a play-actor party who comes swarmin into 
 the hills while I m thar to try the pine trees on his 
 tooberclosis/ as he describes said malady, an* 
 whose weakness is to saw off cognomens on every- 
 thin he sees. As fast as he s introdooced to em, 
 this actor sport names the Long s Canyon bull 
 FalstafT; the Red River five-year-old Hotspur/ 
 bein he s plumb b lligerent an allers makin war 
 medicine; while the little three-year-old, who in 
 habits about my camp in the Caliente, he addresses 
 as Prince Hal. The fool of a white steer that s 
 worshippin about Falstaff gets named Pistol, 
 although thar s mighty little about the weak-kneed 
 humbug to remind you of anythin as vehement as 
 a gun. Falstaff, Pistol, Hotspur an Prince Hal ; 
 them s the titles this dramatist confers on said cat 
 tle. 
 
 " Which the West is a great place to dig out new 
 appellations that a-way. Thar s a gentle-minded 
 party comes soarin* down on Wolfville one evenin . 
 No, he don t own no real business to transact ; he s 
 out to have a heart-to-heart interview with the great 
 Southwest, is the way he expounds the objects of 
 his search. 
 
 " An he s plenty tender/ says Black Jack, who s 
 barkeep at the Red Light. He comes pushin* 
 along in yere this mornin ; an* what do you-all 
 reckon now he wants. Asks for ice ! Now what- 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help, 153 
 
 ever do you make of it ! Ice in August, an within 
 forty miles of the Mexico line at that. " Pard," I 
 says, " we re on the confines of the tropics ; an 
 while old Arizona is some queer, an we digs for 
 wood an climbs for water, an indulges in much 
 that is morally an physically the teetotal reverse 
 of right-side-up-with-care, so far in our meanderin s 
 we ain t oncovered no glaciers nor cut the trail of 
 any ice. Which if you ve brought snowshoes with 
 you now, or been figgerin* on a Arizona sleighride, 
 you re settin in hard luck." 
 
 " Jest as Black Jack gets that far in them state 
 ments, this yere tenderfoot shows in the door. 
 
 " Be you a resident of Wolfville ? asks this 
 shorthorn of Dave Tutt. 
 
 " I m one of the seven orig nal wolves, says 
 Tutt. 
 
 " Yere s my kyard, says the shorthorn, an he 
 beams on Dave in a wide an balmy way. 
 
 " Archibald Willingham De Graffenreid Butt, 
 says Dave, readin off the kyard. Then Dave goes 
 up to the side, an all solemn an grave, pins the 
 kyard to the board with his bowie-knife. Archi 
 bald Willingham De Graffenreid Butt, an Dave 
 repeats the words plumb careful. That s your full 
 an c rrect name, is it ? 
 
 " The shorthorn allows it is, an surveys Dave in 
 a woozy way like he ain t informed none of the 
 meanin of these yere manoovers. 
 
 " Did you-all come through Tucson with thi? 
 name ? asks Dave. 
 
154 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " He says he does. 
 
 " An wasn t nothin said or done about it i> 
 demands Dave; don t them Tucson sports take no 
 action ? 
 
 " He says nothin is done. 
 
 " It s as I fears, says Dave, shakin his head a 
 heap loogubrious, that Tucson outfit is morally 
 goin* to waste. It s worse than careless ; it s callous. 
 That s whatever ; that camp is callous. Was you 
 aimin to stay for long in Wolfville with this yere 
 title? asks Dave at last. 
 
 " The shorthorn mentions a week. 
 
 " This yere Wolfville, explains Dave, * is too 
 small for all that name. Archibald Willingham 
 De Graffenreid Butt ! It shorely sounds like a hoss 
 in a dance hall. But it s too long for Wolfville, an 
 Wolfville even do her best. One end of that name is 
 bound to protrood. Or else it gets all brunkled up 
 like a long nigger in a short bed. However, goes on 
 Dave, as he notes the shorthorn lookin a little 
 dizzy, don t lose heart. We does the best we can. 
 I likes your looks, an shall come somewhat to your 
 rescoo myse f in your present troubles. Gents, an* 
 Dave turns to where Boggs an Cherokee an 
 Texas Thompson is listenin , I moves you we sus 
 pends the rooles, an re-names this excellent an* 
 well-meanin maverick, " Butcherknife Bill." 
 
 " I seconds the motion, says Boggs. Butcher- 
 knife Bill is a neat an compact name. I congratu 
 lates our visitin friend from the East on the ease 
 wherewith he wins it out. I would only make one 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help. 155 
 
 suggestion, the same bein in the nacher of amend 
 ments to the orig nal resolootion, an which is, that 
 in all games of short kyards, or at sech times as 
 we-all issues invitations to drink, or at any other 
 epock when time should be saved an quick action, 
 is desir ble, said cognomen may legally be redooced 
 to " Butch." 
 
 " Thar bein no objections/ says Tutt, * it is re- 
 gyarded as the sense of the meetin that this yere 
 visitin sharp from the States, yeretofore clogged in 
 his flight by the name of Archibald Willingham De 
 Graffenreid Butt, be yereafter known as " Butcher- 
 knife Bill " ; or failin leesure for the full name, as 
 " Butch," or both at the discretion of the co t, with 
 the drinks on Butch as the gent now profitin* by 
 this play. Barkeep, set up all your bottles an c l- 
 lect from Butch. 
 
 " But to go back to my long-ago camp on the Cali- 
 ente. Prince Hal is a polished an p lite sort o ana- 
 mile. The second day after I pitches camp, Prince 
 Hal shows up. He paws the grass, an declar s 
 himse f, an gives notice that while I m plumb wel 
 come, he wants it onderstood that he s party of the 
 first part in that valley, an aims to so continyoo. 
 As I at once agrees to his claims, he is pacified ; 
 then he counts up the camp like he s sizin up the 
 plunder. It s at this point I signs Prince Hal as 
 my friend for life by givin him about a foot of 
 bacon-skin. He stands an chews on that bacon- 
 skin for two hours ; an thar s heaven in his looks. 
 
 f( It gets so Prince Hal puts in all his spar time 
 
156 Wolfville Days. 
 
 at my camp. An I donates flapjacks, bacon-skins 
 an* food comforts yeretofore onknown to Prince 
 Hal. He regyards that camp of mine as openin a 
 new era on the Caliente. 
 
 " When not otherwise engaged, Prince Hal stands 
 in to curry my ponies with his tongue. The one 
 he d be workin on would plant himse f rigid, 
 with y ears drooped, eyes shet, an tail a-quiverin ; 
 an you-all could see that Prince Hal, with his 
 rough tongue, is jest burnin up that bronco from 
 foretop to fetlocks with the joy of them attentions. 
 When Prince Hal has been speshul friendly, I d 
 pass him out a plug of Climax tobacco. Sick? 
 Never once ! It merely elevates Prince Hal s 
 sperits in a mellow way, that tobacco does ; makes 
 him feel vivid an* gala a whole lot. 
 
 " Which we re all gettin on as pleasant an* 
 oneventful as a litter of pups over on the Caliente, 
 when one mornin across the divide from Red 
 River comes this yere pugnacious person, Hotspur. 
 He makes his advent r arin an slidin down the 
 hillside into our valley, promulgatin* insults, an 
 stampin for war. You can see it in Hotspur s eye ; 
 he s out to own the Caliente. 
 
 " Prince Hal is curryin* a pony when this yere 
 invader comes crashin down the sides of the 
 divide. His eyes burn red, he evolves his warcry 
 in a deep bass voice, an goes curvin out onto the 
 level of the valley-bottom to meet the enemy. 
 Gin ral Jackson couldn t have displayed more 
 promptitood. 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help. 157 
 
 "Thar ain t much action in one of them cattle 
 battles. First, Hotspur an* Prince Hal stalks 
 round, pawin up a sod now an* then, an sw arin* 
 a gale of oaths to themse fs. It looks like Prince 
 Hal could say the most bitter things, for at last 
 Hotspur leaves off his pawin an profanity an b ars 
 down on him. The two puts their fore ards 
 together an goes in for a pushin match. 
 
 "But this don t last. Hotspur is two years 
 older, an over-weighs Prince Hal about three 
 hundred pounds. Prince Hal feels Hotspur out, 
 an sees that by the time the deal goes to the turn, 
 he ll be shore loser. A plan comes into his mind. 
 Prince Hal suddenly backs away, an* keeps on 
 backin ontil he s cl ared himse f from his foe by 
 eighty feet. Hotspur stands watchin ; it s a new 
 wrinkle in bull fights to him. He can tell that 
 this yere Prince Hal ain t conquered none, both by 
 the voylent remarks he makes as well as the plumb 
 defiant way he wears his tail. So Hotspur stands 
 an ponders the play, guessin at what s likely to 
 break loose next. 
 
 " But the conduct of this yere Prince Hal gets 
 more an* more mysterious. When he s a safe eighty 
 feet away, he jumps in the air, cracks his heels 
 together, hurls a frightful curse at Hotspur, an 
 turns an walks off a heap rapid. Hotspur can t read 
 them signs at all ; an to be frank, no more can I. 
 Prince Hal never looks back; he surges straight 
 ahead, climbs the hill on the other side, an is lost in 
 the oak bushes. 
 
158 Woifvilie Days, 
 
 " Hotspur watches him out of sight, gets a 
 drink in the Caliente, an then climbs the hillside 
 to where I m camped, to decide about me. Of 
 course, Hotspur an I arrives at a treaty of peace 
 by the bacon-rind route, an things ag in quiets 
 down on the Caliente. 
 
 " It s next mornin about fourth drink time, an 
 I m overhaulin a saddle an makin up some beliefs 
 on several subjects of interest, when I observes 
 Hotspur s face wearin a onusual an highly hang 
 dog expression. An I can t see no cause. I 
 sweeps the scenery with my eye, but I notes 
 nothin*. An yet it s as evident as a club flush that 
 Hotspur s scared to a standstill. He ain t sayin 
 nothin , but that s because he thinks he ll save 
 his breath to groan with when dyin*. It s a fact, 
 son ; I couldn t see nor hear a thing, an yet that 
 Hotspur bull stands thar fully aware, somehow, 
 that thar s a warrant out for him. 
 
 " At last I m made posted of impendin events. 
 Across the wide Caliente comes a faint but f rocious 
 war song. I glance over that a-way, an thar through 
 the oak bresh comes Prince Hal. An although he s 
 a mile off, he s p intin straight for this yere invader, 
 Hotspur. At first I thinks Prince Hal s alone, an 
 I m marvellin whatever he reckons he s goin to 
 a complish by this return. But jest then I gets a 
 glimmer, far to Prince Hal s r ar, of that reedic lous 
 Pistol, the milk-white steer. 
 
 " I beholds it all ; Falstaff is comin ; only bein* a 
 dark brown I can t yet pick him out o the bresh. 
 
How Prince Hal Got Help. 159 
 
 Prince Hal has travelled over to Long s Canyon an 
 told the giant Falstaff how Hotspur jumps into the 
 Caliente an puts it all over him that a-way. Falstaff 
 is lumberin over it s a journey of miles to put 
 this redundant Hotspur back on his reservation. 
 Prince Hal, bein warm, lively an plumb zealous to 
 recover his valley, is nacherally a quarter of a mile 
 ahead of Falstaff. 
 
 " It s allers a question with me why this yere 
 foolhardy Hotspur don t stampede out for safety. 
 But he don t ; he stands thar lookin onusual limp, an 
 awaits his fate. Prince Hal don t rush up an 
 mingle with Hotspur; he s playin a system an he 
 don t deviate tharfrom. He stands of! about fifty 
 yards, callin Hotspur names, an waitin for Falstaff 
 to arrive. 
 
 " An thar s a by-play gets pulled off. This ranika- 
 boo Pistol, who couldn t fight a little bit, an who s 
 caperin along ten rods in the lead of Falstaff, gets 
 the sudden crazy-hoss notion that he ll mete out 
 punishment to Hotspur himse f, an make a reputa 
 tion as a war-eagle with his pard an patron, Falstaff. 
 With that, Pistol curves his tail like a letter S, and, 
 lowerin* his knittin -needle horns, comes dancin up to 
 Hotspur. The bluff of this yere ignoble Pistol is too 
 much. Hotspur r ars loose an charges him. This 
 egretgious Pistol gets crumpled up, an Hotspur 
 goes over him like a baggage wagon. The shock is 
 sech that Pistol falls over a wash-bank ; an after 
 swappin* end for end, lands twenty feet below with 
 a groan an a splash in the Caliente. Pistol is shorely 
 
160 Wolfville Days. 
 
 used up, an* crawls out on the flat ground below, as 
 disconsolate a head o cattle as ever tempts the 
 echoes with his wails. 
 
 " But Hotspur has no space wherein to sing his 
 vict ry. Falstaff decends upon him like a fallin* tree. 
 With one rushin* charge, an* a note like thunder, he 
 simply distributes that Hotspur all over the range. 
 Thar s only one blow ; as soon as Hotspur can round 
 up his fragments an get to his hoofs, he goes sailin 
 down the valley, his eyes stickin out so s he can see 
 his sins. As he starts, Prince Hal, who s been hoppin 
 about the rim of the riot, claps his horns to Hotspur s 
 flyin hocks an keeps him goin . But it ain t needed 
 none ; that Falstaff actooally ruins Hotspur with the 
 first charge. 
 
 " That night Falstaff, with the pore Pistol jest 
 able to totter, stays with us, an Prince Hal fusses an* 
 bosses round, sort o* directin their entertainment. 
 The next afternoon Falstaff gives a deep bellow or 
 two, like he s extendin l adios to the entire Caliente 
 canyon, an then goes pirootin off for home in Long s, 
 with Pistol, who looks an feels like a laughin* stock, 
 limpin* at his heels. That s the end. Four days 
 later, as I m swingin round the range, I finds 
 Falstaff an Pistol in Long s Canyon ; Prince Hal is 
 on the Caliente ; while Hotspur an his air is both 
 wise an sad is tamely where he belongs on the 
 Upper Red. An now recallin how I comes to 
 plunge into this yere idyl, I desires to ask you-all, 
 however Prince Hal brings Falstaff to the wars that 
 time, if cattle can t talk ? " 
 
CHAPTER XIL 
 How Wolfville Made a Jest. 
 
 " IT S soon after that time I tells you of when 
 Rainbow Sam dies off," and the Old Cattleman as 
 sumed the airs of a conversational Froude, " when 
 the camp turns in an has its little jest with the Sig 
 nal Service sharp. You sees we re that depressed 
 about Rainbow cashin in, we needs reelaxation that 
 a-way, so we-all nacheral enough diverts ourse fs 
 with this Signal party who comes bulgin up all 
 handy. 
 
 " Don t make no mistaken notions about Wolf- 
 ville bein a idle an a dangerous camp. Which on 
 the contrary, Wolfville is shorely the home of 
 jestice, an* a squar man gets a squar game every 
 time. Thar ain t no * bad men round Wolfville, 
 public sentiment bein obdurate on that p int. 
 Hard people, who has filed the sights often their 
 six-shooters or fans their guns in a fight, don t get 
 tolerated, none whatever. 
 
 " Of course, thar s gents in Wolfville who has 
 seen trouble an seen it in the smoke. Cherokee 
 Hall, for instance, so Doc Peets mentions tome pri 
 vate, one time an another downs leven men. 
 
 " But Cherokee s by nacher kind o warm an ner- 
 
162 Wolfville Days* 
 
 vous, an* bein he s behind a faro game, most likely 
 he sees more o casion ; at any rate, it s common 
 knowledge that whatever he s done is right. 
 
 " He don t beef them leven in Wolfville ; all I 
 recalls with us, is the man from Red Dog, the 
 Stingin Lizard, an mebby a strayed Mexican or so. 
 But each time Cherokee s hand is forced by these 
 yere parties, an he s exculpated in every gent s 
 mind who is made awar tharof. 
 
 * No ; Cherokee don t rely allers on his gun 
 neither. He s a hurryin knife fighter for a gent with 
 whom knives ain t nacher. Either way, however, 
 gun or knife, Cherokee is a heap reliable ; an you 
 can put down a bet that what he misses in the 
 quadrille he ll shore make up in the waltz with all 
 who asks him to a war dance. But speakin* of 
 knives: Cherokee comes as quick an straight with a 
 bowie as a rattlesnake ; an not half the buzz about 
 it. 
 
 " But jest the same, while thar s gents in camp 
 like Cherokee, who has been ag inst it more n onct, 
 an who wins an gets away, still Wolfville s as quiet 
 an sincere an outfit as any Christian could ask. 
 
 " It s a fact ; when Shotgun Dowling capers in an* 
 allows he s about to abide with us a whole lot, he s 
 notified to hunt another hole the first day. 
 
 " So far from you-all livin with us, Shotgun, 
 says Jack Moore, who s depooted to give Shotgun 
 Dowling the run ; * so far from you bunkin* in yere 
 for good, we ain t even aimin to permit your visits. 
 My notion is that you better pull your freight some 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest* 163 
 
 instant. Thar s a half-formed thought in the public 
 bosom that if anybody sees your trail to-morry, all 
 hands ll turn in an arrange you for the grave. 
 
 " Never mind about arrangin nothin , says 
 Shotgun ; * I quits you after the next drink ; which 
 libation I takes alone. An Shotgun rides away. 
 
 " What is the matter with Shotgun ? Well, he s 
 one of these yere murderin folks, goin about 
 downin Mexicans merely to see em kick, an that 
 sort of thing, an all of which no se f-respectin out 
 fit stands. He wins out his name * Shotgun them 
 times when he s dep ty marshal over at Prescott. 
 
 " You must be partic lar an serve your warrant 
 on a gent before you downs him/ says the Jedge, as 
 he gives Shotgun some papers. * First serve your 
 warrant, an then it s legal to kill him ; but not 
 without ! 
 
 " So Shotgun Dowling takes this yere warrant an 
 crams it down the muzzle of a shotgun an hammers 
 her out flat on top them buckshot. 
 
 " Thar you be ! says Dowling. I reckons now 
 the warrant gets to him ahead of the lead ; which 
 makes it on the level. 
 
 "Tharupon Shotgun canters out an busts his 
 gent warrant, lead an all an that gives him the 
 name of * Shotgun Dowling. 
 
 " But at the time he comes riotin along into 
 Wolfville, allowin he ll reside some, he s regyarded 
 hard ; havin been wolfin round, copperin Mexicans 
 an friskin about general ; so, nacheral, we warns 
 him out as aforesaid. Which I, tharfore, ag in 
 
164 Wolfville Days, 
 
 remarks, that Wolfville is a mighty proper an 1 
 peaceful place, an its witticism with this yere Sig* 
 nal Service party needn t be inferred ag inst it. 
 
 "This yere gent has been goin about casooal, an* 
 his air is a heap high-flown. He s been pesterin an 
 irritatin* about the post-office for mighty like an 
 hour, when all at once he crosses over to the Red 
 Light an squar s up to the bar. He don t invite 
 none of us to licker jest himse f ; which onp lite- 
 ness is shore received invidious. 
 
 " Gimme a cocktail/ says this Signal person to 
 the barkeep. 
 
 " As they ain t mixin no drinks at the Red 
 Light for man or beast, nor yet at Hamilton s 
 hurdy-gurdy, this sport in yooniform don t get no 
 cocktail. 
 
 " Can t mix no drinks/ says Black Jack. 
 
 " * Can t mix no cocktail ? says the Signal sharp. 
 Why ! what a band of prairie dogs this yere ham 
 let is ! What s the matter with you-all that you 
 can t mix no cocktails ? Don t you savey enough ? 
 
 " Do we-all savey enough? says Black Jack, 
 some facetious that a-way. l Stranger, we simply 
 suffers with what we saveys. But thar s a law ag in 
 cocktails an all mixin of drinks. You sees, a 
 Mexican female over in Tucson is one day mixin 
 drinks for a gent she s a-harborin idees ag in, an* 
 she rings in the loco onto him, an he goes plumb 
 crazy. Then the Legislatoore arouses itse f to its 
 peril, that a-way, an ups an makes a law abatiu of 
 mixed drinks. This yere bein gospel trooth, you ll 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest, 165 
 
 have to drink straight whiskey ; an you might as 
 well drink it outen a tin cup, too. 
 
 "As he says this, Black Jack sets up a bottle an* 
 a tin cup, an then for a blazer slams a six-shooter 
 on the bar at the same time. Lookin some bloo 
 tharat, the Signal sharp takes a gulp or two of 
 straight nose-paint, cavilin hot at the tin cup, an* 
 don t mention nothin more of cocktails. 
 
 " Whatever is the damage anyhow ? he says to 
 Black Jack, soon as he s quit gaggin over the 
 whiskey, the same tastin raw an vicious to him, 
 an him with his lady-like throat framed ready for 
 cocktails. What s thar to pay ? 
 
 " Nary centouse? says Black Jack, moppin of 
 the bar complacent. * Not a soo markee. That 
 drink s on the house, stranger. 
 
 " When this Signal sharp goes out, Enright says 
 he s got pore manners, an he marvels some he s 
 still walkin the earth. 
 
 " However, says Enright, I s pose his livin so 
 long arises mainly from stayin East, where they 
 don t make no p int on bein p lite, an runs things 
 looser. 
 
 " Whatever s the matter of chasin this insultin 
 tenderfoot round a lot, asks Texas Thompson, 
 4 an havin amoosement with him? Thar ain t 
 nothin doin , an we oughter not begretch a half-, 
 day s work, puttin knowledge into this party. If 
 somethin ain t done forthwith to inform his mind 
 as to them social dooties while he stays in Arizona, 
 you can gamble he won t last to go East no more/ 
 
1 66 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " As what Texas Thompson says has weight, 
 thar begins to grow a gen ral desire to enlighten 
 this yere sport. As Texas su gests the idee, it 
 follows that he goes for ard to begin its execootion. 
 
 " * But be discreet, Texas, says Enright, an 
 don t force no showdown with this Signal gent. 
 Attainin wisdom is one thing, an bein killed that 
 a-way, is plumb different ; an while I sees no ob 
 jection to swellin the general fund of this young 
 person s knowledge, I don t purpose that you-all s 
 goin to confer no diplomas, an graduate him into 
 the choir above none with a gun, at one an the 
 same time. 
 
 " * None whatever, says Texas Thompson ; we 
 merely toys with this tenderfoot an never so much 
 as breaks his crust, or brings a drop of blood, the 
 slightest morsel. He s takin life too lightly; an 
 all we p ints out to do, is sober him an teach him a 
 thoughtful deecorum. 
 
 "Texas Thompson goes a-weavin up the street 
 so as to cross the trail of this Signal party, who s 
 headed down. As they passes, Texas turns as 
 f rocious as forty timber wolves, an claps his hand 
 on the shoulder of the Signal party. 
 
 " How s this yere? says Texas, shakin back 
 his long ha r. An he shorely looks hardened, that 
 a-way. 
 
 " How s what ? says the Signal man, who s as. 
 tonished to death. 
 
 " * You saveys mighty well, says Texas. You 
 fails to bow to me, aimin 1 to insult an put it all over 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest. 167 
 
 me in the presence of this yere multitood. Think 
 of it, gents! goes on Texas, beginnin to froth, an 
 a-raisin of his voice to a whoop ; * think of it, an 
 me the war-chief of the Panhandle, with forty-two 
 skelps on my bridle, to be insulted an disdained by 
 a feeble shorthorn like this. It shore makes me 
 wonder be I alive ! 
 
 " Stranger, goes on Texas, turnin to the Signal 
 party, an his hand drops on his gun, an he breathes 
 loud like a buffalo; nothin but blood is goin to 
 do me now. If I was troo to myse f at this mo 
 ment, I d take a knife an shorely split you like a 
 mackerel. But I restrains myse f ; also I don t 
 notice no weepon onto you. Go, tharfore, an 
 heel yourse f, for by next drink time the avenger 
 11 be huntin on your trail. I gives you half an 
 hour to live. Not on your account, cause it ain t 
 comin to you ; but merely not to ketch no angels 
 off their gyard, an to allow em a chance to organize 
 for your reception. Besides, I don t aim to spring 
 no corpses on this camp. Pendin* hostilities, I 
 shall rest myse f in the Red Light, permittin you 
 the advantages of the dance hall, where Hamilton 
 11 lend you pen, ink, paper, an monte table, whar- 
 by to concoct your last will. Stranger, adios! 
 
 " By the time Texas gets off this talk an starts 
 for the Red Light, the Signal sport is lookin some 
 sallow an perturbed. He s shorely alarmed. 
 
 " * See yere, pard, says Dan Boggs, breakin 
 loose all at once, like he s so honest he can t restrain 
 himse f, an jest as Texas heads out for the Red 
 
168 Wolfville Days. 
 
 Light ; you re a heap onknown to me, but I takes 
 a chance an stands your friend. Now yere s what 
 you do. You stiffen yourse f up with a Colt s 44, 
 an lay for this Texas Thompson. He s a rustler 
 an a hoss-thief, an* a murderer who, as he says, has 
 planted forty-two, not countin Injuns, Mexicans 
 an mavericks. He oughter be massacred ; an as 
 it s come your way, why prance in an* spill his 
 blood. This camp ll justify an applaud the play. 
 
 " But I can t fight none, says the Signal party. 
 It s ag in the rooles an reg lations of the army. 
 
 " Which I don t see none how you re goin* to 
 renig, says Dave Tutt. This debauchee is doo to 
 shoot you on sight. Them army rooles shorely 
 should permit a gent to scout off to one side the 
 strict trail a little ; partic lar when it s come down 
 to savin his own skelp. 
 
 " One way an* another, Tutt an Boggs makes it 
 cl ar as paint to the Signal party that thar s only 
 two chances left in the box ; either he downs Texas 
 or Texas gets him. The Signal party says it s what 
 he calls a dread alternatif. 
 
 " * Which when I thinks of the gore this yere 
 murderous Thompson already dabbles in, says 
 Boggs to the Signal party, * I endorses them expres 
 sions. However, you put yourse f in the hands of 
 me an Dave, an* we does our best. If you lives 
 through it, the drinks is on you ; an if Texas beefs 
 you which, while deplorable, is none remote con- 
 siderin this yere Texas is a reg lar engine of de 
 struction we sees that your remainder goes back to 
 the States successful/ 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest* 169 
 
 " The Signal party says he s thankful he s found 
 friends, an* tharupon they-all lines out for the dance 
 hall, where they gets drinks, an the Signal man, 
 who s some pallid by now, riggers he ll write them 
 letters an sort o straighten up his chips for the 
 worst. Boggs observes that it s a good move, an 
 that Tutt an he ll take an o casional drink an 
 ride herd on his interests while he does. 
 
 "Tutt an Boggs have got their brands onto 
 mebby two drinks, when over comes Doc Peets, 
 lookin deadly dignified an* severe, an says : 
 
 " * Who-all represents yere for this gent who s 
 out for the blood of my friend, Texas Thompson ? 
 
 " Talk to me an Tutt, says Boggs; an cut 
 her short, cause it s the opinion of our gent this 
 rancorous Thompson infests the earth too long, an* 
 he s hungerin to begin his butchery. 
 
 "Which thar s enough said, says Peets; ! 
 merely appears to notify you that in five minutes I 
 parades my gent in front of the post-office, an the 
 atrocities can proceed. They fights with six- 
 shooters ; now what s the distance ? 
 
 " Make it across a blanket, says Tutt. 
 
 " An fold the blanket/ breaks in Boggs. 
 
 " You can t make it too clost for my gent/ says 
 Peets. As I starts to this yere conference, he says : 
 " Doc, make her six-shooters an over a handker 
 chief. I thirsts to shove the iron plumb ag inst the 
 heart that insults me, as I onhooks my weepon." 
 
 " Of course, the poor Signal party, tryin to 
 write over by a monte table, an spillin ink all over 
 
170 Wolfville Days. 
 
 himse f, listens to them remarks, an it makes him 
 feel particular pensif. 
 
 *" In five minutes, then/ says Peets, you-all 
 organize your gent an come a-runnin . I must 
 canter over to see how Texas is holdin* himse f. 
 He s that fretful a minute back, he s t arin hunks 
 outen a white-ash table with his teeth like it s 
 ginger-cake, an moanin for blood. Old Monte s 
 lookin after him, but I better get back. Which he 
 might in his frenzy, that a-way, come scatterin 
 loose any moment, an go r arin about an killin 1 
 your gent without orders. Sech a play would be 
 onelegant an no delicacy to it ; an* I now returns 
 to gyard ag in it. 
 
 " As soon as Peets is started for the Red Light, 
 Tutt ag in turns to the Signal party, who s settin 
 thar lookin he pless an worried, like he s a prairie 
 dog who s come back from visitin some other dog, 
 an finds a rattlesnake s done pitched camp in the 
 mouth of his hole. 
 
 " * Now then, stranger, says Tutt, if you-all has 
 a complished that clerical work, me an Dan will 
 lead you to your meat. When you gets to 
 shootin , aim low an be shore an see your victim 
 every time you cuts her loose. 
 
 " The Signal party takes it plumb gray an* 
 haggard, but not seein* no other way, he gets up, 
 an after stampin about a trifle nervous, allows, 
 since it s the best he can do, he s ready. 
 
 " * Which it is spoke like a man/ says Boggs. 
 So come along, an* we ll hunt out this annihilator 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest. 171 
 
 from Laredo an make him think he s been caught in 
 a cloudburst. 
 
 " Old Monte has spread a doubled blanket in 
 front of the post-office ; an as Tutt an Boggs 
 starts with their Signal party, thar s a yell like 
 forty Apaches pours forth from across the street. 
 
 " That s Thompson s war yelp/ says Boggs, 
 explainin of them clamors to the Signal party. 
 4 Which it would seem from the fervor he puts 
 into it, he s shorely all keyed up/ 
 
 "As Doc Peets comes out a-leadin of Texas, it s 
 noticed that Texas has got a tin cup. 
 
 " Whatever s your gent a-packin of that 
 yootensil for? demands Tutt, mighty truculent. 
 
 * Is this yere to be a combat with dippers ? 
 
 " l Oh, no ! says Peets, like he s tryin to excuse 
 somethin , but he insists on fetchin* it so hard, 
 that at last to soothe him I gives my consent. 
 
 " Well, we challenges the dipper/ says Tutt. 
 
 * You-all will fight on the squar , or we removes our 
 gent. 
 
 " Don t, don t ! shouts Texas, like he s agitated 
 no limit ; don t take him outen my sight no more. 
 I only fetches the cup to drink his blood ; but it s 
 a small detail, which I shore relinquishes before ever 
 I allows my heaven-sent prey the least loophole to 
 escape/ 
 
 " When Peets goes up an takes Texas s cup, the 
 two debates together in a whisper, Texas lettin on 
 he s mighty hot an furious. At last Peets says to 
 him : 
 
1 72 "Wolfville Days* 
 
 " Which I tells you sech a proposal is irreg lar; 
 but since you insists, of course I names it. My 
 gent yere, goes on Peets to Boggs an Tutt, wants 
 to agree that the survivor s to be allowed to skelp 
 his departed foe. Does the bluff go? 
 
 " * It s what our gent s been urgin from the 
 jump/ says Boggs ; an tharfore we consents with 
 glee. Round up that outlaw of yours now, an let s 
 get to shootinY 
 
 " I don t reckon I ever sees anybody who seems 
 as fatigued as that Signal person when Boggs an 
 Tutt starts to lead him up to the blanket. His 
 face looks like a cancelled postage-stamp. While 
 they re standin up their folks, Texas goes ragin 
 loose ag in because it s a fight over a blanket an* not 
 a handkerchief, as he demands. 
 
 " * What s the meanin of a cold an formal racket 
 sech as this? he howls, turnin to Peets. I wants 
 to go clost to my work ; I wants to crowd in where 
 it s warm. 
 
 " I proposes a handkerchief, says Peets; but 
 Tutt objects on the grounds that his man s got 
 heart palp tations or somethinY 
 
 " You re a liar, yells Tutt ; * our gent s heart s 
 as solid as a sod house. 
 
 "What do I hear? shouts Peets. You calls 
 me a liar ? 
 
 "At this Tutt an Peets lugs out their guns an 
 blazes away at each other six times like the roll of 
 a drum Texas all the time yellin for a weepon, an 
 cavortin about in the smoke that demoniac he d 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest. 17 3 
 
 scare me, only I knows it s yoomerous. Of course 
 Peets an Tutt misses every shot, and at the wind- 
 up, after glarin at each other through the clouds, 
 Peets says to Tutt : 
 
 " * This yere is mere petulance. Let s proceed 
 with our dooties. As soon as Texas has killed an 
 skelped the hold-up you represents, I ll shoot it out 
 with you, if it takes the autumn. 
 
 " * That s good enough for a dog, says Tutt, 
 stickin his gun back in the scabbard ; * an now we 
 proceeds with the orig nal baile. 
 
 " But they don t proceed none. As Tutt turns 
 to his Signal sharp, who s all but locoed by the 
 shootin , an has to be detained by Boggs from run- 
 nin away, Jack Moore comes chargin up on his 
 pony an throws a gun on the whole outfit. 
 
 " Hands up yere ! he says, sharp an brief ; or 
 I provides the coyotes with meat for a month to 
 come. 
 
 " Everybody s hands goes up ; an it s plain 
 Moore s comin ain t no disapp intment to the Sig 
 nal person. He s that relieved he shows it. 
 
 " * Don t look so tickled, growls Boggs to him, as 
 Moore heads the round-up for the New York Store ; 
 * don t look so light about it ; you mortifies me. 
 
 " Moore takes the band over to the New York 
 Store, where Enright s settin as a jedge. He allows 
 he s goin to put em all on trial for disturbin of 
 Wolfville s peace. The Signal sharp starts to say 
 somethin , when Peets interrupts, an that brings 
 Boggs to the front, an after that a gen ral uproar 
 breaks lapse Ukc a stampede. 
 
174 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " Gimme a knife, somebody, howls Texas, an* 
 let me get in on this as I should. Am I to be 
 robbed of my revenge like this? 
 
 " But Enright jumps for a old Spencer seven- 
 shooter, an announces it cold, he s out to down the 
 first gent that talks back to him a second time. 
 This ca ms em, an the riot sort o simmers. 
 
 " Not that I objects to a street fight, says 
 Enright, discussin of the case ; but you-all talks 
 too much. From the jabber as was goin for ard 
 over that blanket out thar, it shorely reminds me 
 more of a passel of old ladies at a quiltin bee, 
 than a convocation of discreet an* se f-respectin 
 gents who s pullin* off a dooel. To cut her short, 
 the public don t tolerate no sech rackets, an yere- 
 upon I puts Texas Thompson an this Signal party 
 onder fifty-thousand-dollar bonds to keep the peace. 
 
 " Texas is set loose, with Peets an Cherokee Hall 
 on his papers ; but the Signal sharp, bein strange 
 in camp, can t put up no bonds. 
 
 " Which as thar s no calaboose to put you into, 
 says Enright, when he s told by the Signal party 
 that he can t make no bonds; an as it s plumb 
 ag in the constitootion of Arizona to let you go, I 
 shore sees no trail out but hangin . I regrets them 
 stern necessities which feeds a pore young man to 
 the halter, but you sees yourse f the Union must 
 an shall be preserved. Jack, go over to my pony 
 an fetch the rope. It s a new half-inch manilla, 
 but I cheerfully parts with it in the cause of jestice. 
 
 " When Moore gets back with the rope, an every- 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest. 175 
 
 body s lookin serious, that a-way, it shakes the 
 Signal party to sech a degree that he camps down 
 on a shoe-box an allows he needs a drink. Boggs 
 says he ll go after it, when Tutt breaks in an* 
 announces that he s got a bluff to hand up. 
 
 " * If I m dead certain/ says Tutt, surveyin of 
 the Signal party a heap doubtful ; if I was shore 
 now that this gent wouldn t leave the reservation 
 none, I d go that bond myse f. But I m in no sech 
 fix financial as makes it right for me to get put in 
 the hole for fifty thousand dollars by no stranger, 
 however intimate we be. But yere s what I m 
 willin to do : If this sharp wears hobbles so he 
 can t up an canter off, why, rather than see a young 
 gent s neck a foot longer, I goes this bail myse f. , 
 
 " The Signal party is eager for hobbles, an he 
 gives Tutt his word to sign up the documents an he 
 wont run a little bit. 
 
 " Which the same bein now settled, congenial 
 an legal, says Enright, when Tutt signs up ; Jack 
 Moore he ps the gent on with them hobbles, an the 
 court stands adjourned till further orders. 
 
 " After he s all hobbled an safe, Tutt an the 
 Signal party starts over for the post-office, both 
 progressin some slow an reluctant because of the 
 Signal party s hobbles holdin him down to a shuf 
 fle. As they toils along, Tutt says : 
 
 " * An now that this yere affair ends so successful, 
 I d shore admire to know whatever you an that 
 cut-throat takes to chewin of each other s manes 
 for, anyway ? Why did you refoose to bow ? 
 
176 Wolfville Days, 
 
 " Which I never refooses once, says the Signal 
 party ; * I salootes this Texas gent with pleasure, if 
 that s what he needs. 
 
 " In that case, says Tutt, * you make yourse f 
 comfortable leanin ag in this buildin , an I ll pro 
 ject over an see if this embroglio can t be reecon- 
 ciled a lot. Mootual apol gies an whiskey, looks 
 like, ought to reepair them dissensions easy. 
 
 " So the Signal party leans up ag in the front of 
 the post-office an surveys his hobbles mighty mel 
 ancholy, while Tutt goes over to the Red Light to 
 look up Texas Thompson. It ain t no time when 
 he s headed back with Texas an the balance of the 
 band. 
 
 " Give us your hand, pard, says Texas, a heap 
 effoosive, as he comes up to the Signal party; *I 
 learns from our common friend, Dave Tutt, that this 
 yere s a mistake, an* I tharfore forgives you freely 
 all the trouble you causes. It s over now an plumb 
 forgot. You re a dead game sport, an I shakes 
 your hand with pride. 
 
 " Same yere, says Doc Peets, also shakin of the 
 Signal party s hand, which is sort o limp an cheer 
 less. 
 
 " However, we rips off his hobbles, an then the 
 outfit steers over to the Red Light to be regaled 
 after all our hard work. 
 
 " Yere s hopin luck an long acquaintance, 
 stranger, says Texas, holdin up his glass to the 
 Signal party, who is likewise p lite, but feeble. 
 
 " Which the joyous outcome of this tangle 
 
How Wolfville Made a Jest* 177 
 
 shows, says Dan Boggs, as he hammers his glass on 
 the bar an shouts for another all round, that you-all 
 can t have too much talk swappin , when the objects 
 of the meetin is to avert blood. How much better 
 we feels, standin yere drinkin our nose-paint all 
 cool an comfortable, an congrat latin the two 
 brave sports who s with us, than if we has a corpse 
 sawed onto us onexpected, an is driven to go grave- 
 diggin in sech sun-blistered, sizzlin weather as 
 this. 
 
 " That s whatever, says Dave Tutt ; an I fills 
 my cup in approval, you can gamble, of them 
 observations. " 
 
CHAPTER XIIL 
 Death; and the Donna Anna* 
 
 "LOCOWEED? Do I savey loco?" The Old 
 Cattleman s face offered full hint of his amazement 
 as he repeated in the idiom of his day and kind 
 the substance of my interrogatory. " Why, son, * 
 he continued, " every longhorn who s ever cinched 
 a Colorado saddle, or roped a steer, is plumb 
 aware of locoweed. Loco is Mexicano for mad 
 crazy. An cattle or mules or ponies or anythin 
 else, that makes a repast of locoweed which as a 
 roole they don t, bein posted instinctif that 
 loco that a-way is no bueno goes crazy- what 
 we-all in the Southwest calls locoed. 
 
 " Whatever does this yere plant resemble ? 
 I ain t no sharp on loco, but the brand I encounters 
 is green, bunchy, stiff, an stands taller than the 
 grass about it. An it ain t allers thar when looked 
 for, loco ain t. It s one of these yere migratory 
 weeds ; you ll see it growin about the range mebby 
 one or two seasons, an* then it sort o pulls its 
 freight. Thar wont come no more loco for years. 
 
 "Mostly, as I observes prior, anamiles disdains loco, 
 an passes it up as bad medicine. They re organ 
 ized with a notion ag inst it, same as ag inst rattle- 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna* 179 
 
 snakes An as for them latter reptiles, you can take a 
 preacher s hoss, foaled in the lap of civilization, who 
 ain t seen nothin more broadenin than the reg lar 
 church service, with now an then a revival, an yet 
 he s born knowin so much about rattlesnakes in 
 all their hein ousness, that he ll hunch his back an 
 go soarin way up yonder at the first Zizz-z-z-z. 
 
 " Doc Peets informs me once when we crosses 
 up with some locoweed over by the Cow Springs, 
 that thar s two or three breeds of this malignant 
 vegetable. He writes down for me the scientific 
 name of the sort we gets ag inst. Thar she is." 
 
 And my friend produced from some recess of a 
 gigantic pocketbook a card whereon the learned 
 Peets had written Oxytropis Lamberti. 
 
 " That s what Peets says loco is," he resumed, 
 as I handed back the card. " Of course, I don t go 
 surgin* off pronouncin* no sech words ; shorely 
 not in mixed company. Some gent might take it 
 personal an resent it. But I likes to pack em 
 about, an search em out now an then, jest to 
 gaze on an think what a dead cold scientist Doc 
 Peets is. He s shorely the high kyard ; thar never 
 is that drug-sharp in the cow country in my day 
 who s fit to pay for Peets whiskey. Scientific an 
 eddicated to a feather aige, Peets is. 
 
 " You-all oughter heard him lay for one of 
 them cliff-climbin , bone-huntin stone c llectors who 
 comes out from Washin ton for the Gov ment. One 
 of these yere deep people strikes Wolfville on one 
 of them rock-roundups he s makin , an for a-while 
 
i8o Wolfville Days. 
 
 it looks like he s goin to split things wide open, 
 He s that contrary about his learnin , he wont use 
 nothin* but words of four syllables words that 
 runs about eight to the pound. He comes into the 
 New York Store where Boggs an Tutt an me 
 is assembled, an , you hear me, son ! that savant has 
 us walkin in a cirkle in a minute. 
 
 " It s Peets who relieves us. Peets strolls up an 
 engages this person in a debate touchin mule-hoof 
 hawgs ; the gov ment sport maintainin* thar ain t 
 no sech swine with hoofs like a mule, because 
 he s never heard about em ; an Peets takin the 
 opp site view because he s done met an eat em 
 a whole lot. 
 
 " The mere fact/ says Peets to this scientist, 
 that you mavericks never knows of this mule-hoof 
 hawg, cannot be taken as proof he does not still 
 root an roam the land. Thar s more than one 
 of you Washin ton shorthorns who s chiefly famed 
 for what he s failed to know. The mule-hoof 
 hawg is a fact ; an the ignorance of closet 
 naturalists shall not prevail ag inst him. His 
 back is arched like a greyhound s, he s about the 
 thickness of a bowie-knife, he s got hoofs like a 
 mule, an* sees his highest deevelopment in the 
 wilds of Arkansaw. 
 
 " But speakin of locoweed, it s only o casional 
 that cattle or mules or broncos partakes tharof. 
 Which I might repeat for the third time that, gen- 
 ral, they eschews it. But you-all never will know 
 how wise a anamile is till he takes to munchin loco. 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna. 181 
 
 Once he s plumb locoed, he jest don t know nothin ; 
 then it dawns on you, by comparison like, how much 
 he saveys prior. The change shows plainest in 
 mules ; they bein that is, the mule normal an be 
 fore he s locoed the wisest of beasts. Wise, did I 
 say? A mule is more than wise, he s sagacious. 
 An thar s a mighty sight of difference. To be 
 simply wise, all one has to do is set round an* 
 think wise things, an* mebby say em. It s only 
 when a gent goes trackin round an does wise 
 things, you calls him sagacious. An* mules does 
 wisdom. 
 
 " Shore ! I admits it ; I m friendly to mules. If 
 the Southwest ever onbends in a intellectual com 
 petition whites barred mules will stand at the 
 head. The list should come out, mules, coyotes, 
 Injuns, Mexicans, ponies, jack rabbits, sheep-herd 
 ers, an pra ry dogs, the last two bein shorely im 
 becile. 
 
 " Yes, son ; you can lean up ag inst the intelli 
 gence of a mule an go to sleep. Not but what 
 mules hasn t their illoosions, sech as white mares an 
 sim lar reedic lous inflooences; but them s weak 
 nesses of the sperit rather than of mind. 
 
 "While mules don t nacherally go scoutin for 
 loco, an commonly avoids said weed when found, if 
 they ever does taste it once, they never quits it as 
 long as they lives. It s like whiskey to Huggins an* 
 Old Monte ; the appetite sort o goes into camp 
 with em an takes possession. No ; a locoed mule 
 ain t vicious nor voylent ; it s more like the tree- 
 
1 82 Wolfville Days. 
 
 mors he sees spectacles that ain t thar none. I ve 
 beheld a locoed mule that a-way, standin alone on 
 the level plains in the sun, kickin an pitchin 1 to 
 beat a straight flush. He thinks he s surrounded 
 by Injuns or other hostiles; he s that crazy he don t 
 know grass from t rar: lers. An their mem ry s 
 wiped out ; they forgets to eat an starves to death. 
 That s the way they dies, onless some party who 
 gets worked up seein em about, takes a Winchester 
 an pumps a bullet into em. 
 
 " Yes ; Peets says if a gent was to take to loadin 
 up on loco, or deecoctions tharof, he d become 
 afflicted by bats, same as cattle an mules. But no 
 one I knc >vs of, so far as any news of it ever comes 
 grazin my way, is that ongyarded. I never hears 
 tell in detail of sech a case but onct ; an that s a 
 tale that Old Man Enright sets forth one evenin in 
 the Red Light. 
 
 " We-all is settin round the faro layout at the 
 time. Cherokee Hall is back of the box, with Faro 
 Nell on the look-out s stool ; but nobody s feelin 
 playful, an no money s bein changed in. It s only 
 about first drink time in the evenin , which, as a 
 season, is prematoor for faro-bank. It s Dave Tutt 
 who brings up the matter with some remarks he 
 makes touchin the .razy-hoss conduct of a party 
 who works over .o the stage company s corral. 
 This hoss-hustler is that eccentric he s ediotic, aji is 
 known as Lc-oed Charlie. It s him who final 
 falls a prey to ants that time. 
 
 " * An it s my belief, asserts Tutt, as he con- 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna* 183 
 
 cloodes his relations of the ranikaboo breaks of this 
 party, that if this Charlie, speakin mine fashion, 
 was to take his intellects over to the assay office in 
 Tucson, they wouldn t show half a ounce of idee 
 to the ton ; wouldn t even show a color. Which 
 he s shore locoed. 
 
 " Speakin of being locoed that a-way/ says En- 
 right, * recalls an incident that takes place back 
 when I m a yearlin an assoomes my feeble part in 
 the Mexican War. That s years ago, but I don t 
 know of nothin sadder than that story, nothin 
 more replete of sobs. Not that I weeps tharat, for 
 I m a thoughtless an a callous yooth, but, all the 
 same, it glooms me up a heap. 
 
 " * Is it a love story, Daddy En right ? asks Faro 
 Nell, all eager, an bendin towards Enright across 
 the layout. 
 
 " It shows brands an y ear marks as sech, Nel 
 lie, says Enright ; love an loco makes up the 
 heft of it. 
 
 " Then tell it, urges Faro Nell. I m actooally 
 hungerin for a love story, an she reaches down, 
 an* squeezes Cherokee s hand onder the table. 
 
 " Cherokee squeezes hers, an turns his deal box 
 on its side to show thar s no game goin , an leans 
 back with the rest of us to listen. Black Jack, who 
 knows his mission on this earth, brings over a bot 
 tle with glasses all round. 
 
 " * Yere s to you, Nellie, says Texas Thompson, 
 as we shoves the nose-paint about. While that 
 divorce edict my wife wirs back in Laredo modifies 
 
184 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 my interest in love tales, an whereas I don t feel 
 them thrills as was the habit of me onct, still, in a 
 subdooed way I can drink happiness to you. 
 
 " Texas, says Boggs, settin down his glass an 
 bendin a eye full of indignant reproach on 
 Thompson ; Texas, before I d give way to sech on- 
 manly weakness, jest because my wife s done stam 
 peded, I d j ine the church. Sech mush from a 
 cow-man is disgraceful. You ll come down to 
 herdin* sheep if you keeps on surrenderin yourse f 
 to sech sloppy bluffs. 
 
 " See yere, Dan, retorts Thompson, an his eye 
 turns red on Boggs ; my feelin s may be bowed 
 onder losses which sech nachers as yours is too 
 coarse to feel, but you can gamble your bottom 
 dollar, jest the same, I will still resent insultin crit 
 icisms. I advises you to be careful an get your 
 chips down right when you addresses me, or you 
 may quit loser on the deal. 
 
 " Now you re a couple of fine three-year-olds ! 
 breaks in Jack Moore. Yere we be, all onbuckled 
 an fraternal, an Enright on the brink of a love 
 romance by the ardent requests of Nell, an you 
 two longhorns has to come prancin out an go 
 pawin for trouble. You know mighty well, Texas, 
 that Boggs is your friend an the last gent to go 
 harassin you with contoomely. 
 
 " Right you be, Jack, says Boggs plenty 
 prompt ; if my remarks to Texas is abrupt, or be 
 trays heat, it s doo to the fact that it exasperates 
 me to see the most elevated gent in camp for 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna* 185 
 
 so I holds Texas Thompson to be made desolate 
 by the wild breaks of a lady who don t know her 
 own mind, an mighty likely ain t got no mind to 
 know. 
 
 " * I reckons I m wrong, Dan, says Thompson, 
 turnin apol getic. * Let it all go to the diskyard. 
 I m that peevish I simply ain t fit to stay yere nor 
 go anywhere else. I ain t been the same person 
 since my wife runs cimmaron that time an demands 
 said sep ration. 
 
 " Bein I m a married man, remarks Dave Tutt, 
 sort o gen ral, but swellin out his chest an puttin 
 on a lot of dog at the same time, an wedded to 
 Tucson Jennie, the same bein more or less known, 
 I declines all partic pation in discussions touchin 
 the sex. I could, however, yoonite with you-all in 
 another drink, an yereby su gests the same. Bar- 
 keep, it s your play. 
 
 " That s all right about another drink, says 
 Faro Nell, but I wants to state that I sympathizes 
 with Texas in them wrongs. I has my views of a 
 female who would up an abandon a gent like Texas 
 Thompson, an I explains it only on the theery 
 that she shorely must have been coppered in her 
 cradle. 
 
 * Nellie onderstands my feelin s, says Texas, 
 an he s plumb mournful, an I owes her for them 
 utterances. However, on second thought, an even 
 if it is a love tale, if Enright will resoome his rela 
 tions touchin that eepisode of the Mexican War, 
 J figgers that it may divert me from them divorce 
 
i86 Wolfville Days, 
 
 griefs I alloodes to. An , at any rate, win or lose, 
 I assures Enright his efforts will be regyardeoV 
 
 " Old Man Enright takes his seegyar out of his 
 mouth an rouses up a bit. He s been wropped in 
 thought doorin the argyments of Boggs an Thomp 
 son, like he s tryin to remember a far-off past. As 
 Thompson makes his appeal, he braces up. 
 
 " Now that Dan an Texas has ceased buckin , 
 says Enright, an each has all four feet on the 
 ground, I ll try an recall them details. As I 
 remarks, its towards the close of the Mexican War. 
 Whatever I m doin in that carnage is a conundrum 
 that s never been solved. I had hardly shed my 
 milk teeth, an was only leven hands high at the time. 
 An I ain t so strong physical, but I feels the weight 
 of my spurs when I walks. As I looks back to it, 
 I must have been about as valyooable an aid to the 
 gov ment, as the fifth kyard in a poker hand when 
 four of a kind is held. The most partial an* 
 besotted of critics would have conceded that if I d 
 been left out entire, that war couldn t have suffered 
 material changes in its results. However, to get 
 for ard, for I sees that Nellie s patience begins to mill 
 an show symptoms of comin stampede. 
 
 " It s at the close of hostil ties, goes on Enright, 
 1 an the company I m with is layin up in the hills 
 about forty miles back from Vera Cruz, dodgin 
 yellow fever. We was cavalry, what the folks in 
 Tennessee calls a " critter company," an , hailin 
 mostly from that meetropolis or its vicinity, we was 
 known to ourse fs at least as the " Pine Knot Cava- 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna, 187 
 
 Hers." Thar s a little Mexican village where we be 
 that s called the " Plaza Perdita." An so we lays 
 thar at the Plaza Perdita, waitin for orders an 
 transportation to take us back to the States. 
 
 " Which most likely we re planted at this village 
 about a month, an the Mexicans is beginnin to get 
 used to us ; an we on our parts is playin monte, an 
 eatin* frijoles, an accommodatin ourse fs to the 
 simple life of the place. Onct a week the chaplain 
 preaches to us. He holds that Mexico is a pagan 
 land ; an , entertainin this idee, he certainly does 
 make onusual efforts to keep our morals close-herded, 
 an our souls bunched an banded up in the Christian 
 faith, as expressed by the Baptis church. Candor, 
 however, compels me to say that this yere pulpit 
 person can t be deescribed as a heavy winner on the 
 play. 
 
 " Was you-all so awful bad ? asks Faro Nell. 
 
 " No, replies Enright, we ain t so bad none ; 
 but our conduct is a heap onhampered, which is the 
 same thing to the chaplain. He gives it out emphat 
 ic, after bein with the Pine Knot Cavaliers over a 
 year, that he plumb despairs of us becomin chris- 
 tians. 
 
 " Whatever does he lay down on you-all like 
 that for? says Faro Nell. Couldn t a soldier be a 
 Christian, Daddy Enright ? 
 
 " * Why, I reckons he might, says Enright, he pin 
 himse f to a drink; a soldier could be a Christian, 
 Nellie, but after all it ain t necessary. 
 
 " Still, we-all likes the chaplain because them 
 
1 88 Wolfville Days* 
 
 ministrations of his is entertainin ; an , for that 
 matter, he likes us a lot, an in more reelaxed mo 
 ments allows we ain t so plumb crim nal merely 
 loose like on p ints of doctrine. 
 
 " Baptis folks is shore strong on doctrines/ says 
 Tutt, coincidin in with Enright. I knows that 
 myse f. Doctrine is their long suit. They ll go to 
 any len ths for doctrines, you hear me ! I remembers 
 once ridin into a hamlet back in the Kaintucky 
 mountains. Thar ain t one hundred people in the 
 village, corral count. An yet I notes two church 
 edifices. 
 
 i You-all is plenty opulent on sanctooaries," 
 I says to the barkeep at the tavern where I camps 
 for the night. " It s surprising too, when you con 
 siders the size of the herd. What be the two 
 deenom nations that worships at them structures?" 
 
 " " Both Baptis ," says the barkeep. 
 
 * " Whyever, since they re ridin the same range 
 an runnin the same brand," I says, "don t they 
 combine like cattle folks an work their round-ups 
 together?" 
 
 " * " They splits on doctrine," says the barkeep ; 
 " you couldn t get em together with a gun. They 
 disagrees on Adam. That outfit in the valley holds 
 that Adam was all right when he started, but later 
 he struck something an glanced off ; them up on the 
 hill contends that Adam was a hoss-thief from the 
 jump. An thar you be ! You couldn t reeconcile 
 ein between now an the crack of doom. Doctrines 
 to a Baptis that a-way is the entire check-rack." 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna. 189 
 
 " To ag in pick up said narratif, says Enright, 
 when Tutt subsides, at the p int where Dave comes 
 spraddlin in with them onasked reminiscences, I 
 may say that a first source of pleasure to us, if not of 
 profit, while we stays at the Plaza Perdita, is a pas- 
 sel of Mexicanos with a burro train that brings us 
 our pulque from some ers back further into the 
 hills." 
 
 "What s pulque?" I interjected. 
 
 It was plain that my old gentleman of cows as 
 little liked my interruption as Enright liked that of 
 the volatile Tutt. He hid his irritation, however, 
 under an iron politeness and explained. 
 
 " Pulque is a disapp intin form of beverage, 
 wharof it takes a bar l to get a gent drunk," he 
 observed. And then, with some severity : " It 
 ain t for me to pull no gun of criticism, but I m 
 amazed that a party of your attainments, son, is 
 ignorant of pulque. It s, as I says, a drink ; an it 
 tastes like glucose an looks like yeast. It comes 
 from a plant, what the Mexicans calls maguey, an* 
 Peets calls a aloe. The pulque gatherers scoops 
 out the blossom of the maguey while it s a bud. 
 They leaves the place hollow ; what wood-choppers 
 back in Tennessee, when I m a colt, deescribes as 
 bucketin the stump. This yere hollow fills up 
 with oozin sap, an the Mexican dips out two gal 
 lons a day an keeps it up for a month. That s 
 straight ; sixty gallons from one maguey before 
 ever it quits an* refooses to further turn the game. 
 That s pulque ; an when them Greasers gathers 
 
1 90 Wolfville Days. 
 
 it, they puts it into a pigskin skinned com. 
 plete, the pig is ; them pulque receptacles is made of 
 the entire bark of the anamile. When the pulque s 
 inside, they packs it, back down an* hung by all 
 four laigs to the saddle, a pigskin on each side of 
 the burro. It s gathered the evenin previous, an 
 brought into camp in the night so as to keep it cool. 
 
 " When I m a child, an before ever I connects 
 myse f with the cow trade, if thar s a weddin , we- 
 all has what the folks calls a infare ; an I can 
 remember a old lady from the No th who contree- 
 butes to these yere festivals a drink she calls 
 4 sprooce beer. An pulque, before it takes to 
 frettin an fermentiri round, in them pigskins, 
 reminds me a mighty sight of that sprooce beer. 
 Later it most likely reminds you of the pigskin. 
 
 " Mexican barkeeps, when they sells pulque, 
 aims to dispose of it two glasses at a clatter. 
 It gives their conceit a chance to spread itse f an 
 show. The pulque is in a tub down back of the 
 bar. This yere vain Mexican seizes two glasses 
 between his first an* second fingers, an with a fin 
 ger in each glass. Then he dips em full back 
 handed ; an allers comes up with the back of his 
 hand an the two fingers covered with pulque. He 
 claps em on the bar, eyes you a heap sooperior 
 like he s askin* you to note what a acc rate, high- 
 grade barkeep he is, an* then raisin* his hand, he 
 slats the pulque off his fingers into the two glasses. 
 If he spatters a drop on the bar, it shows he s a 
 bungler, onfit for his high p sition, an* oughter be 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna* 191 
 
 out on the hills tendin goats instead of dealin 
 pulque. 
 
 " What do they do with the sour pulque? Make 
 me ;cal of it a sort o brandy, two hookers of 
 which changes you into a robber. No, thar s 
 mighty few still-houses in Mexico. But that s no 
 set-back to them Greasers when they re out to con 
 struct mescal. As a roole Mexicans is slow an 
 oninventive; but when the question becomes the 
 arrangement of somethin* to be drunk with, they re 
 plenty fertile. Jest by way of raw material, if you ll 
 only confer on a Mexican a kettle, a rifle bar l, a 
 saddle cover, an a pigskin full of sour pulque, he ll 
 be conductin a mescal still in full blast at the end 
 of the first hour. But to go back to Enright syarn. 
 
 " * These yere pulque people/ says Enright, * does 
 a fa rly rapid commerce. For while, as you-all 
 may know, pulque is tame an lacks in reebound as 
 compared with nose-paint, still when pulque is the 
 best thar is, the Pine Knot Cavaliers of the Plaza 
 Perdita invests heavily tharin. That pulque s jest 
 about a stand-off for the chaplain s sermons. 
 
 " * It s the fourth trip of the pulque sellers, when 
 the Donna Anna shows in the door. The Donna 
 Anna arrives with em ; an* the way she bosses 
 round, an sets fire to them pulque slaves, notifies 
 me they re the Donna Anna s peonies. 
 
 " I m sort o pervadin about the plaza when the 
 Donna Anna rides up. Thar s an old she-wolf with 
 her whose name is Magdalena. I m not myse f 
 what they calls in St. Looey a "connoshur" of 
 
192 Wolfville Days. 
 
 female loveliness, an it s a pity now that so fle 
 gifted gent like Doc Peets yere don t see this 
 Donna Anna that time, so s he could draw you her 
 picture, verbal. All I m able to state is that < he s 
 as beautiful as a cactus flower ; an as vivid. She s 
 tall an* strong for a Mexican, with a voice like vel 
 vet, graceful as a mountain lion, an with eyes that s 
 soft an deep an black, like a deer s. She s shorely 
 a lovely miracle, the Donna Anna is ; an as dark 
 an as warm an as full of life as a night in Joone. 
 She s of the grande ; foi the mule she s ridin , 
 gent-fashion, is worth forty ponies. Its coat is 
 soft, an shiny like this yere watered silk, while its 
 mane an tail is braided with a hundred little silver 
 bells. The Donna Anna is dressed half Mexican 
 an half Injun, an thar s likewise a row of bells 
 about the wide brim of her Chihuahua hat. 
 
 " Thar s mebby a half-dozen of us standin round 
 when the Donna Anna comes up. Nacherally, we- 
 all is interested. The Donna Anna, bein only 
 eighteen an a Mexican, is not abashed. She waves 
 her hand an says, " How ! how ! " Injun fashion, 
 an gives us a white flash of teeth between her red 
 lips. Then a band of nuns comes out of a little 
 convent, which is one of the public improvements 
 of the Plaza Perdita, an they rounds up the Donna 
 Anna an the wrinkled Magdalena, an takes em 
 into camp. The Donna Anna an the other is 
 camped in the convent doorin the visit. No, 
 they re not locked up nor gyarded, an the Donna 
 Anna comes an goes in an out of that convent as 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna. 193 
 
 free as birds. The nuns, too, bow before her like 
 her own peonies. 
 
 " Thar s a Lootenant Jack Spencer with us ; he 
 hails from further up the Cumberland than me 
 some ers near Nashville. He s light-ha red an 
 light-hearted, Spencer is ; an as straight an as 
 strong as a pine-tree. S ciety ain t throwin out 
 no skirmish lines them days, an of course Spencer 
 an the Donna Anna meets up with each other ; 
 an from the onbroken hours they tharafter pro 
 ceeds to invest in each other s company, one is 
 jestified in assoomin they experiences a tender 
 interest. The Donna Anna can t talk Americano, 
 but Spencer is a sharp on Spanish ; an you can bet 
 a pony, if he wasn t, he d set to studyin the lan 
 guage right thar. 
 
 " Nothin much is thought by the Pine Knot 
 Cavaliers of an concernin the attitoodes of Spen 
 cer an the Donna Anna touchin one another. 
 Love it might be, an less we cares for that. Our 
 army, when it ain t fightin , is makin love through 
 out the entire Mexican War ; an by the time we re 
 at the Plaza Perdita, love, mere everyday love, 
 either as a emotion or exhibition, is plenty com 
 monplace. An so no one is interested, an no one 
 keeps tabs on Spencer an the Donna Anna. 
 Which, if any one had, he d most likely got ag inst 
 Spencer s gun ; wharfore, it s as well mebby that 
 this yere lack-luster feelin prevails. 
 
 " * It s about the tenth day since the Donna Anna 
 gladdens us first. Orders comes up from Vera 
 
194 Wolfville Days. 
 
 Cruz for the Pine Knot Cavaliers to come down to 
 the coast an embark for New Orleans. The word 
 is passed, an our little jimcrow camp buzzes like 
 bees, with us gettin ready to hit the trail. Spencer 
 asks " leave ; " an then saddles up an starts at once. 
 He says he s got a trick or two to turn in Vera 
 Cruz before we sails. That s the last we-all ever 
 beholds of Lootenant Jack Spencer. 
 
 " * When Spencer don t show up none in Vera 
 Cruz, an* the ship throws loose without him, he s 
 marked, " missin ," on the company s books. If 
 he s a private, now, it would have been " de 
 serted ; " but bein Spencer s an officer, they makes 
 it " missin ." An they gets it right, at that ; 
 Spencer is shorely missin . Spencer not only don t 
 come back to Tennessee none ; he don t even send 
 no word nor make so much as a signal smoke to 
 let on whar he s at. This yere, to some, is more or 
 less disapp intin . 
 
 " Thar s a lady back in Tennessee which Spen 
 cer s made overtures to, before he goes to war 
 that time, to wed. Young she is ; beautiful, high- 
 grade, corn-fed, an all that ; an comes of one of 
 the most clean-bred fam lies of the whole Cumber 
 land country. I will interject right yere to say that 
 thar s ladies of two sorts. If a loved one, tender 
 an* troo, turns up missin at roll-call, an the phe 
 nomenon ain t accompanied with explanations, one 
 sort thinks he s quit, an the other thinks he s killed. 
 Spencer s inamorata is of the former. She s got 
 what the neighbors calls " hoss sense." She listens 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna, 195 
 
 to what little thar is to tell of Spencer fadin from 
 our midst that Plaza Perdita day, shrugs her 
 shoulders, an turns her back on Spencer s mem ry. 
 An the next news you gets is of how, inside of 
 three months, she jumps some gent who s off his 
 gyard an is lulled into feelin s of false secoority 
 ropes, throws, ties an weds him a heap, an he 
 wakes up to find he s a gone fawn-skin, an to realize 
 his peril after he s onder its hoofs. That s what 
 this Cumberland lady does. I makes no comments ; 
 I simply relates it an opens a door an lets her out. 
 
 " I m back in Tennessee mighty nigh a year 
 before ever I hears ag in of Lootenant Jack Spen 
 cer of the Pine Knot Cavaliers. It s this a-way : 
 I m stoppin with my old gent near Warwhoop 
 Crossin , the same bein a sister village to Pine 
 Knot, when he s recalled to my boyish mind. It 
 looks like Spencer ain t got no kin nearer than a 
 aunt, an mebby a stragglin herd of cousins. He 
 never does have no brothers nor sisters ; an as for 
 fathers an mothers an sech, they all cashes in be 
 fore ever Spencer stampedes off for skelps in that 
 Mexican War at all. 
 
 u< These yere kin of Spencer s stands his absence 
 ca mly, an* no one hears of their settin* up nights, 
 or losin* sleep, wonderin where he s at. Which I 
 don t reckon now they d felt the least cur ous con- 
 cernin him for they re as cold-blooded as channel 
 catfish if it ain t that Spencer s got what them law 
 coyotes calls a " estate," an* this property sort o* 
 presses their hands. So it falls out like, that along 
 
196 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 at the last of the year, a black-coat party lawyef 
 he is comes breezin up to me in Warwhoop an 
 says he s got to track this yere Spencer to his last 
 camp, dead or alive, an allows I d better sign for 
 the round-up an accompany the expedition as 
 guide, feelos pher an friend kind o go long an 
 scout for the campaign. 
 
 " Two months later me an that law sharp is in 
 the Plaza Perdita. We heads up for the padre. 
 It s my view from the first dash outen the box that 
 the short cut to find Spencer is to acc rately dis 
 cover the Donna Anna ; so we makes a line for the 
 padre. In Mexico, the priests is the only folks who 
 saveys anythin ; an , as if to make up for the hoo- 
 miliatin ignorance of the balance of the herd, an* 
 promote a average, these yere priests jest about 
 knows everythin . An* I has hopes of this par- 
 tic lar padre speshul ; for I notes that, doorin them 
 times when Spencer an the Donna Anna is dazzlin 
 one another at the Plaza Perdita, the padre is sort 
 o keepin cases on the deal, an tryin as well as he 
 can to hold the bars an fences up through some 
 covert steers he vouchsafes from time to time to the 
 old Magdalena. 
 
 " No ; you bet this padre don t at that time wax 
 vocif rous or p inted none about Spencer an* the 
 Donna Anna. Which he s afraid if he gets ob 
 noxious that a-way, the Pine Knot Cavaliers will 
 rope him up a lot an trade him for beef. Shore ! 
 don t you-all know that? When we re down in 
 Mexico that time, with old Zach Taylor, an needs 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna* 197 
 
 meat, we don t go ridin our mounts to death comb- 
 in the hills for steers. All we does is round up a 
 band of padres, or monks, an* then trade em to 
 their par lyzed congregations for cattle. We used 
 to get about ten steers for a padre ; an* we doles out 
 them divines, one at a time, as we needs the beef. 
 It s shorely a affectin sight to see them parish ners, 
 with tears runnin down their faces, drivin up the 
 cattle an takin them religious directors of theirs 
 out o hock. 
 
 u We finds the padre out back of his wickeyup, 
 trimmin up a game-cock that he s matched to fight 
 the next day. The padre is little, fat, round, an 
 amiable as owls. Nacherally, I has to translate for 
 him an the law sport. 
 
 " " You do well to come to me, my children," he 
 says. "The Seflor Juan" that s what the padre 
 calls Spencer " the Seftor Juan is dead. It is ten 
 days since he passed. The Donna Anna ? She 
 also is dead an with the Seflor Juan. We must go 
 to the Hacienda Tulorosa, which is the house of 
 the Donna Anna. That will be to-morrow. Mean 
 while, who is to protect Juarez, my beloved chicken, 
 in his battle when I will be away ? Ah ! I re 
 member ! The Don Jose Miguel will do. He is 
 skilful of cocks of the game. Also he has bet 
 money on Juarez ; so he will be faithful. There 
 fore, to-morrow, my children, we will go to the 
 Donna Anna s house. There I will tell you the 
 story of the Seflor Juan." 
 
 " The Hacienda Tulorosa is twenty miles back 
 
198 Wolfvilie Days, 
 
 further in the hills. The padre, the law sharp an 
 me is started before sun-up, an a good road-gait 
 fetches us to the Hacienda Tulorosa in a couple of 
 hours. It s the sort of a ranch which a high grade 
 Mexican with a strong bank-roll would throw up. 
 It s built all round a court, with a flower garden 
 and a fountain in the centre. As we comes up, I 
 observes the old Magdalena projectin about the 
 main door of the casa, stirrin up some lazy peonies 
 to their daily toil which, to use the word " toil," 
 however, in connection with a Greaser, is plumb 
 sarcastic. The padre leads us into the casa, an the 
 bitter-lookin Magdalena hustles us some grub ; 
 after which we-all smokes a bit. Then the padre 
 gets up an leads the way. 
 
 " " Come, my children," says the padre, " I will 
 show you the graves. Then you shall hear what 
 there is of the Seftor Juan an the Donna Anna." 
 
 " It s a set-back, continyoos Enright, as he 
 signals Black Jack the barkeep to show us he s 
 awake ; * it s shorely a disaster that some book-in 
 structed gent like Peets or Colonel Sterett don t 
 hear this padre when he makes them revelations 
 that day. Not that I overlooks a bet, or don t re 
 call em none ; but I ain t upholstered with them 
 elegancies of diction needed to do em justice now. 
 My language is roode an corrupted with years of 
 sech surroundin s as cattle an kyards. It s too 
 deeply freighted with the slang of the plains an the 
 faro-banks to lay forth a tale of love an tenderness, 
 as the o casion demands. Of course, I can read an 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna* 199 
 
 write common week-day print ; but when thar s a 
 call for more, I m mighty near as illit rate that 
 a-way as Boggs. 
 
 " Which, as you su gests, I m plumb ignorant/ 
 admits Boggs, but it ain t the fault none of my 
 bringin up neither. It jest looks like I never can 
 learn print nohow when I m young. I m simply 
 born book-shy, an is terrified at schools from my 
 cradle. An , say ! I m yere to express my regrets 
 at them weaknesses. If I was a eddicated gent like 
 Doc Peets is, you can put down all you has, I d be 
 the cunnin est wolf that ever yelps in Cochise 
 County/ 
 
 " An thar ain t no doubt of that, Boggs, ob 
 serves Enright, as he reorganizes to go ahead with 
 them Donna Anna mem ries of his. * Which if you 
 only has a half of Peets game now, you d be the 
 hardest thing mental to ride that ever invades 
 the Southwest. Nacherally, an in a wild an on- 
 trained way, you re wise. But to resoome: As 
 much as I can, I ll give the padre in his own words. 
 He takes us out onder a huddle of pine trees, where 
 thar s two graves side by side, an with a big cross 
 of wood standin gyard at the head. Thar s quite a 
 heap o rocks, about as big as your shet hand, 
 heaped up on em. It s the Mexicans does that. 
 Every Greaser who goes by, says a pray r, an 
 tosses a rock on the grave. When we-all is camped 
 comfortable, the padre begins. 
 
 " " This is that which was with the Sefior Juan 
 and the Donna Anna," lie says. " They adored 
 
200 Wolfville Days, 
 
 each other with their hearts. It was many months 
 ago when, from the Plaza Perdita, they came to 
 gether here to the Donna Anna s house, the Haci 
 enda Tulorosa. Who was the Donna Anna? Her 
 mother was an Indian, a Navajo, and the child of 
 a head man. Her father was the Sefior Ravel, a 
 captain of war he was, and the Americanos slew 
 him at Buena Vista. No ; they were not married, 
 the father and the mother of the Donna Anna. 
 But what then? There are more children than 
 weddings in Mexico. Also the mother of the 
 Donna Anna was a Navajo. The Captain Ravel 
 long ago brought her to the Hacienda Tulorosa for 
 her home her and the Donna Anna. But the 
 mother lived not long, for the Indian dies in a 
 house. This is years gone by ; and the Donna 
 Anna always lived at the Casa Tulorosa. 
 
 " "No; the Seiior Juan and the Donna Anna 
 do not marry. They might ; but the Sefior Juan 
 became like a little child muchachito. This was 
 within a few days after he came here. Then he 
 lived until ten days ago ; but always a little child. 
 
 " "When the Sefior Juan is dead, the Donna 
 Anna sends for me. The Sefior Juan is ready for 
 the grave when I arrive. Is it to bury him that I 
 come ? I ask. No ; it is to bury me, says the 
 Donna Anna. Ah ! she was very beautiful ! the 
 Donna Anna. You should have seen her, my 
 children. 
 
 " " When the Sefior Juan is laid away, the Donna 
 Anna tells me all. l He came, the Senor Juan/ 
 
Death; and the Donna Anna* 201 
 
 says the Donna Anna, and I gave him all my love. 
 But in a day he was to have gone to his home far 
 away with the Americanos. Then I would never 
 more see him nor hear him, and my soul would 
 starve and die. There, too, was a Senorita, an 
 Americana; she would have my place. Father, 
 what could I do ? I gave him the loco to drink ; 
 not much, but it was enough. Then his memory 
 sank and sank ; and he forgot the Senorita Ameri 
 cana ; and he remembered not to go away to his 
 home ; and he became like a little child with me. 
 The good loco drove every one from his heart ; and 
 all from his mind all, save me, the Donna Anna. 
 I was the earth and the life to him. And so, night 
 and day, since he came until now he dies, my arms 
 and my heart have been about the Sefior Juan. 
 And I have been very, very happy with my mucha- 
 chito, the Sefior Juan. Yes, I knew he would go ; 
 because none may live who drinks the loco. But 
 it would be months ; and I did not care. He would 
 be mine, ever my own, the Sefior Juan ; for when 
 he died, could I not die and follow him ? We 
 were happy these months with the flowers and the 
 fountain and each other. I was happier than he ; 
 for I was like the mother, and he like a little child. 
 But it was much peace with love ! And we will 
 be happy again to-morrow when I go where he 
 waits to meet me. Father, you are to remain one 
 day, and see that I am buried with the Sefior Juan. 
 " " Then," goes on the padre, " I say to the 
 Donna Anna , * If you are to seek the Sefior Juan, 
 
202 Wolfville Days* 
 
 you will first kneel in prayer and in confession, and 
 have the parting rites of the church. But the 
 Donna Anna would not. * I will go as went the 
 Senor Juan, she says ; else I may find another 
 heaven and we may not meet. Nor could I move 
 the Donna Anna from her resolution. The Senor 
 Juan is a heretic and must now be in perdition, I 
 say. t Then will I, too, go there, replies the Donna 
 Anna, for we must be together; I and the Senor 
 Juan. He is mine and I will not give him up to be 
 alone with the fiends or with the angels. So I 
 say no more to the Donna Anna of the church. 
 
 " * " On the day to follow the burial of the Senor 
 Juan, it is in the afternoon when the Donna Anna 
 comes to me. Oh ! she was twice lovely ! Father, 
 she says, I come to say my adios. When the hour 
 is done you will seek me by the grave of my Senor 
 Juan. Then she turns to go. * And adios to you, 
 my daughter, I say, as she departs from my view. 
 And so I smoke my cigars ; and when the hour is 
 done, I go also to the grave of the Senor Juan 
 the new grave, just made, with its low hill of warm, 
 fresh earth. 
 
 " "True ! it was as you guess. There, with her 
 face on that little round of heaped-up earth, lay the 
 Donna Anna. And all the blood of her heart had 
 made red the grave of her Senor Juan. The little 
 knife she died by was still in her hand. No, I do 
 not fear for them, my children. They are with the 
 good; the Donna Anna and her Senor Juan. They 
 were guiltless of all save love ; and the good God 
 does not punish love." " 
 
CHAPTER XIV. 
 How Jack Rainey Quit. 
 
 "CUSTOMARY, we has our social round-ups in the 
 Red Light," observed the Old Cattleman; "which 
 I mentions once it does us for a club. We re all 
 garnered into said fold that time when Dave Tutt 
 tells us how this yere Jack Rainey quits out. 
 
 " Rainey gets downed, says Tutt, mainly because 
 his system s obscoore, an it chances that a stranger 
 who finds himse f immeshed tharin takes it plumb 
 ombrageous ; an* pendin explanations, gets tangled 
 up with a pard of Rainey s, goes to a gun play, 
 an all accidental an casooal Rainey wings his way 
 to them regions of the blest. 
 
 " Now I allers holds, goes on Tutt, an still 
 swings an rattles with that decision, that it s manners 
 to ask strangers to drink ; an that no gent, onless 
 he sa sky-pilot or possesses scrooples otherwise, has a 
 right to refoose. Much less has a gent, bein thus 
 s licited to licker, any license to take it hostile an* 
 allow he s insulted, an lay for his entertainers with 
 weepons. 
 
 " Well, I don t know, neither, says Texas 
 Thompson, who s a heap dispootatious an allers 
 spraddlin in on every chance for an argyment. 
 
204 Wolfville Days* 
 
 * Thar s a party, now deceased a whole lot th< 
 Stranglers over in Socorro sort o chaperone; 
 this yere gent to a cottonwood an* excloodes the aii 
 from his lungs with a lariat for mebby it s an hou: 
 an this party I m alloodin at, which his name i< 
 Fowler, is plumb murderous. Now, it s frequenl 
 with him when he s selected a victim that a-way, an 
 while he s bickerin with him up to the killin p int 
 to invite said sacrifice to take a drink. Wher 
 they re ag inst the bar, this yere Fowler we-al 
 strangles would pour out a glass of whiskey an 
 chuck it in the eyes of that onfortunate he s out tc 
 down. Of course, while this party s blind with the 
 nose-paint, he s easy ; an Fowler tharupon c llect 
 his skelp in manner, form an* time to suit his tastes 
 Now I takes it that manners don t insist none 
 on no gent frontin up to a bar on the invite of seer 
 felons as Fowler, when a drink that a-way means c 
 speshul short-cut to the tomb. 
 
 " All this yere may be troo, replies Tutt, but 
 it s a exception. What I insists is, Texas, that 
 speakin wide an free an not allowin none foi 
 sports of the Fowler brand, it s manners to asl 
 strangers to stand in on what beverages is goin 
 an that it s likewise manners for said strangers tc 
 accept ; an it shows that both sides concernec 
 tharin is well brought up by their folks. Seel 
 p liteness is manners, goin an comin , which bring! 
 me with graceful swoops back to how Jack Rainej 
 gets shot up. 
 
 " * But, after all, breaks in Texas ag in, for he 
 
How Jack Raincy Quit. 205 
 
 feels wranglesome, * manners is frequent a question 
 of where you be. What s manners in St. Looey 
 may be bad jedgment in Texas ; same as some 
 commoonities plays straights in poker, while thar s 
 regions where straights is barred. 
 
 4< Texas is dead right about his State that 
 a-way, says Jack Moore, who s heedin of the talk. 
 Manners is a heap more inex rable in Texas than 
 other places. I recalls how I m galivantin round 
 in the Panhandle country it s years ago when I m 
 young an recent an as I m ridin along south of 
 the Canadian one day, I discerns a pony an a gent 
 an a fire, an what looks like a yearlin calf tied 
 down. I knows the pony for Lem Woodruff s cay- 
 ouse, an heads over to say " Howdy " to Lem. 
 He s about half a mile away; when of a sudden he 
 stands up he s been bendin over the yearlin with 
 a runnin iron in his hand an gives a whoop an 
 makes some copious references towards me with 
 his hands. I wonders what for a game he s puttin 
 up, an whatever is all this yere sign-language likely 
 to mean ; but I keeps ridin for ard. It s then this 
 Woodruff steps over to his pony, an takin* his 
 Winchester off the saddle, cuts down with it in my 
 direction, an onhooks her " Bang!" The bullet 
 raises the dust over about fifty yards to the right. 
 Nacherally I pulls up my pony to consider this 
 conduct. While I m settin thar tryin to figger out 
 Woodruff s system, thar goes that Winchester 
 ag in, an a streak of dust lifts up, say, fifty yards to 
 the left. I then sees Lem objects to me. I don t 
 
206 Wolfville Days* 
 
 like no gent to go carpin an criticism at me with a 
 gun ; but bavin a Winchester that a-way, this yere 
 Woodruff can overplay me with only a six-shooter, 
 so I quits him an rides contemptuous away. As I 
 withdraws, he hangs his rifle on his saddle ag in, 
 picks up his runnin iron an goes back content an* 
 all serene to his maverick. " 
 
 " What is a maverick? " I asked, interrupting my 
 friend in the flow of his narration. 
 
 " Why, I s posed," he remarked, a bit testily at 
 being halted, " as how even shorthorns an* tender- 
 feet knows what mavericks is. Mavericks, son, is 
 calves which gets sep rated from the old cows, their 
 mothers, an ain t been branded none yet. They re 
 bets which the round-ups overlooks, an don t get 
 marked. Of course, when they drifts from their 
 mothers, each calf for himse f, an* no brands nor 
 y ear marks, no one can tell whose calves they be. 
 They ain t branded, an the old cows ain t thar to 
 identify an endorse em, an* thar you stands in 
 ignorance. Them s mavericks. 
 
 "It all comes," he continued in further elucida 
 tion of mavericks, " when cattle brands is first 
 invented in Texas. The owners, whose cattle is all 
 mixed up on the ranges, calls ameetin to decide on 
 brands, so each gent ll know his own when he crosses 
 up with it, an* won t get to burnin* powder w^h his 
 neighbors over a steer which breeds an fosters 
 doubts. After every party announces what his 
 brand an y ear mark will be, an* the same is put 
 down in the book, a old longhorn named Maverick 
 
How Jack Raincy Quit. 207 
 
 addresses the meetin , an* puts it up if so be thar s 
 no objection, now they all has brands but him, 
 he ll let his cattle lope without markin , an every 
 gent ll savey said Maverick s cattle because they 
 won t have no brand. Cattle without brands, that 
 a-way, is to belong to Maverick, that s the scheme, 
 an* as no one sees no reason why not, they lets old 
 Maverick s proposal go as it lays. 
 
 " An to cut her short, for obv ous reasons, it ain t 
 no time before Maverick, claimin all the onbranded 
 cattle, has herds on herds of em ; whereas thar s 
 good authority which states that when he makes 
 his bluff about not havin no brand that time, all the 
 cattle old Maverick has is a triflin bunch of Mexi 
 can steers an no semblances of cows in his outfit. 
 From which onpromisin , not to say barren, begin- 
 nin , Maverick owns thousands of cattle at the end 
 of ten years. It all provokes a heap of merriment 
 an* scorn. An ever since that day, onmarked an* 
 onbranded cattle is called mavericks. But to go 
 back ag in to what Jack Moore is remarkin* about 
 this yere outlaw, Woodruff, who s been bustin away 
 towards Jack with his Winchester. 
 
 " It c a week later, goes on Jack Moore, when 
 I encounters this sport Woodruff in Howard s store 
 over in Tascosa. I stands him up an asks whatever 
 he s shootin me up for that day near the Serrita la 
 Cruz. 
 
 " " Which I never sees you nohow," replies this 
 yere Woodruff, laughin . " I never cuts down on you 
 with no Winchester, for if I did, I d got you a whole 
 
208 Wolfville Days. 
 
 lot. You bein yere all petulant an irritated is 
 mighty good proof I never is shootin none at you. 
 But bein you re new to the Canadian country an* 
 to Texas, let me give you a few p inters on cow etty- 
 quette an* range manners. Whenever you notes a 
 gent afar off with a fire goin an a yearlin throwed an 
 hawg-tied ready to mark up a heap with his own pri 
 vate hieroglyphics, don t you-all go pesterin* round 
 him. He ain t good company, seen a gent ain t. 
 Don t go near him. It s ag in the law in Texas to 
 brand calves lonely an forlorn that a-way, without 
 stoppin to herd em over to some well-known cor 
 ral, an the punishment it threatens, bein several 
 years in Huntsville, makes agent when he s violatin 
 it a heap misanthropic, an he don t hunger none 
 for folks to come ridin up to see about what 
 ever he reckons he s at. Mebby later them visitors 
 gets roped up before a co t, or jury, to tell what 
 ever they may know. So, as I says, an merely 
 statin a great trooth in Texas ettyquette, yereafter 
 on beholdin a fellow-bein with a calf laid out to 
 mark, don t go near him a little bit. It s manners 
 to turn your back onto him an ignore him plumb 
 severe. He s a crim nal, an any se f-respectin gent 
 is jestified in refoosin to affiliate with him. Where 
 fore, you ride away from every outcast you tracks 
 up ag inst who is engaged like you says this on- 
 known party is the day he fetches loose his Win 
 chester at you over by the Serrita la Cruz." 
 
 " * That s what this Woodruff says, concloodes 
 Jack, windin up his interruption, about what s 
 
How Jack Rainey Quit. 209 
 
 manners in Texas ; an* when it s made explicit that 
 a-way, I sees the force of his p sition. Woodruff 
 an me buys nose-paint for each other, shakes 
 hearty, an drops the discussion. But it shorely 
 comes to this : manners, as Texas declar s, is some 
 times born of geography, an what goes for polish 
 an the p lite play in St. Looey may not do none 
 for Texas. 
 
 " * Mighty likely, says Old Man Enright, what 
 Texas Thompson an Jack Moore interjecks yere is 
 dead c rrect ; but after all this question about what s 
 manners is way to one side of the main trail. I 
 tharfore su gests at this crisis that Black Jack do 
 his best with a bottle, an when every gent has got 
 his p ison, Dave Tutt proceeds for ard with the 
 killin of this Jack Rainey. 
 
 " Coin* on as to said Rainey, observes Tutt, 
 followin them remarks of Enright, * as I explains 
 when Texas an Moore runs me down with them 
 interestin outbreaks, Rainey gets ag inst it over in 
 a jimcrow camp called Lido ; an this yere is a long 
 spell ago. 
 
 fc * Rainey turns in an charters every bar in Lido, 
 an gets his brand onto all the nose-paint. He s 
 out to give the camp an orgy, an not a gent can 
 spend a splinter or lose a chip to any bar for a week. 
 Them s Jack Rainey s commands. A sport orders 
 his forty drops, an the barkeep pricks it onto a 
 tab ; at the end of a week Jack Rainey settles all 
 along the line, an the " saturnalia," as historians 
 calls em, is over. I might add that Jack Rainey 
 
210 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 gives way to these yere charities once a year, an 
 the camp of Lido is plumb used tharto an approves 
 tharof. 
 
 " On this sad o casion when Jack Rainey gets 
 killed, this yere excellent custom he invents is in 
 full swing. Thar s notices printed plenty big, an 
 posted up in every drink-shop from the dance hall 
 to the Sunflower saloon ; which they reads as 
 follows : 
 
 RUIN! RUIN! RUIN! 
 
 CUT LOOSE! 
 
 JACK RAINEY MAKES GOOD 
 ALL DRINKS 
 
 FOR 
 ONE WEEK. NAME YOUR POISON! 
 
 " * At this yere time, it s about half through Jack 
 Rainey s week, an the pop lace of Lido, in conse 
 quence, is plumb happy an content. They re 
 holdin co t at the time ; the same bein* the first 
 jestice, legal, which is dealt out in Lido. 
 
 " An* do you-all know, puts in Dan Boggs, who s 
 listenin to Tutt, l I m mighty distrustful of co ts. 
 You go to holdin of em, an it looks like every 
 body gets wrought up to frenzy ontil life where 
 them forums is held ain t safe for a second. I shall 
 shorely deplore the day when a co t goes to openin 
 its game in Wolfville. It s " adios" to liberty an 
 peace an safety from that time. 
 
 " * You can go a yellow stack, remarks Texas 
 Thompson,who sets thar plumb loquacious an locoed 
 
How Jack Rainey Quit* 211 
 
 to get in a speech, that Boggs sizes up right about 
 them triboonals. They re a disturbin element in 
 any commoonity. I knowed a town in Texas 
 which is that peaceful it s pastoral that s what it 
 is, it s like a sheep-fold, it s so meek an easy 
 ontil one day they ups an plays a co t an jedge an 
 jury on that camp ; rings in a herd of law sharps, 
 an a passel of rangers with Winchesters to back 
 the deal. The town s that fretted tharat it gets full 
 of nose-paint to the brim, an then hops into the 
 street for gen ral practice with its guns. In the 
 mornin* the round-up shows two dead an five 
 wounded, an all for openin co t on an outfit which 
 is too frail to stand the strain of so much jestice 
 onexpected. 
 
 " As I m engaged in remarkin , says Tutt, after 
 Boggs an Texas is redooced to quiet ag in Tutt 
 bein married most likely is used to interruptions, 
 an is shore patient that a-way as I states, they re 
 holdin* co t, an this day they emancipates from 
 prison a party named Caribou Sam. They tries to 
 prove this Caribou Sam is a hoss-thief, but couldn t 
 fill on the draw, an so Caribou works free of em 
 an is what they calls " quitted." 
 
 " 4 As soon as ever the marshal takes the hobbles 
 off this Caribou Sam he s been held a captif off 
 some ers an is packed into Lido onder gyard to be 
 tried a lot this yere malefactor comes bulgin into 
 the Sunflower an declar s for fire-water. The bar- 
 keep deals to him, an Caribou Sam is assuaged. 
 
 " When he goes to pay, a gent who s standin 
 
212 Wolfville Days* 
 
 near shoves back his dust, an says : " This is Jack 
 Rainey s week it s the great annyooal festival of 
 Jack Rainey, an your money s no good." 
 
 " " But I aims to drink some more/0<? tiempo" 
 says this Caribou Sam, who is new to Lido, an* 
 never yet hears of Jack Rainey an his little game, 
 " an* before I permits a gent to subsidize my thirst, 
 an* go stackin in for my base appetites, you can 
 gamble I want to meet him an* make his acquaint 
 ance. Where is this yere sport Jack Rainey, an 
 whatever is he doin this on ? " 
 
 " The party who shoves Caribou s diner o off the 
 bar, tells him he can t pay, an explains the play, an* 
 exhorts him to drink free an frequent an keep his 
 chips in his war-bags. 
 
 " "As I tells you," says this party to Caribou, 
 " my friend Jack Rainey has treed the camp, an no 
 money goes yere but his till his further com 
 mands is known. Fill your hide, but don t flourish 
 no funds, or go enlargin on any weakness you has 
 for buyin your own licker. As for seein Jack 
 Rainey, it s plumb impossible. He s got too full to 
 visit folks or be visited by em ; but he s upsta rs on 
 some blankets, an if his reason is restored by to- 
 morry, you sends up your kyard an* pays him your 
 regyards pendin of which social function, take an 
 other drink. Barkeep, pump another dose into this 
 stranger, an charge the same to Jack." 
 
 " * " This yere sounds good," says Caribou Sam, 
 u but it don t win over me. Ontil I sees this per, 
 son Rainey, I shall shorely decline all bottles which 
 
How Jack Rainey Quit. 213 
 
 is presented in his name. I ve had a close call 
 about a bronco I stole to-day, an when the jury 
 makes a verdict that they re sorry to say the evi 
 dence ain t enough to convict, the jedge warns me 
 to be a heap careful of the company I maintains. 
 He exhorts me to live down my past, or failin which 
 he ll hang me yet. With this bluff from the bench 
 ringin in my y ears, I shall refoose drinks with all 
 onknown sots, ontil I sees for myse f they s proper 
 characters for me to be sociable with. Tharfore, 
 barkeep, I renoo my determination to pay for them 
 drinks ; at the same time, I orders another round. 
 Do you turn for me or no? " 
 
 " " Not none you don t," says the friend of Jack 
 Rainey. " You can drink, but you can t pay 
 leastwise, you-all can t pay without gettin* all sort 
 o* action on your money. This Rainey you re wor 
 ried about is as good a gent as me, an not at all 
 likely to shake the standin of a common hoss-thief 
 by merely buyin his nose-paint." 
 
 " * " Mine is shorely a difficult p sition," says Cari 
 bou Sam. " What you imparts is scarce encour- 
 agin. If this yere Rainey ain t no improvement 
 onto you, I absolootely weakens on him an turns 
 aside from all relations of his proposin . I m in 
 mighty bad report as the game stands, an I thar- 
 fore insists ag in on payin for my own war medi 
 cine, as bein a move necessary to protect my 
 attitoodes before the public." 
 
 " With these yere observations, Caribou Sam 
 makes a bluff at the barkeep with a handful of 
 
214 Wolfville Days. 
 
 money. In remonstrating Jack Rainey s pard 
 nacherally pulls a gun, as likewise does Caribou 
 Sam. Thar s the customary quantity of shoot in , 
 an while neither Caribou nor his foe gets drilled, a 
 bullet goes through the ceilin an sort o sa nters in 
 a careless, indifferent way into pore Jack Rainey, 
 where he s bedded down an* snorin up above. 
 
 " Shore, he s dead, Rainey is, concloodes Dave, 
 * an his ontimely takin off makes Lido quit loser 
 for three days of licker free as air. He s a splendid, 
 gen rous soul, Jack Rainey is; an as I says at the 
 beginning he falls a sacrifice to his love for others, 
 an in tryin* at his own expense to promote the hap 
 piness an lift them burdens of his fellow-men. 
 
 " * This yere miscreant, Caribou, says Texas 
 Thompson, * is a mighty sight too punctilious about 
 them drinks; which thar s no doubt of it. Do 
 they lynch him ? 
 
 " No, saysTutt; from the calibre of the gun 
 which fires the lead that snatches Rainey from us, 
 it is cl ar that it s the gent who s contendin with 
 Caribou who does it. Still public opinion is some 
 sour over losin them three days, an* so Caribou 
 goes lopin out of Lido surreptitious that same 
 evenin , an don t wait none on Rainey s obsequies- 
 Caribou merely sends regrets by the barkeep of the 
 Sunflower, reiterates the right to pay for them 
 drinks* an Lido sees him no more. " 
 
CHAPTER XV. 
 The Defiance of Gene Watkins. 
 
 " BE I religious that a-way ? " More to embark 
 him on some current of conversation than from any 
 gnawing eagerness to discover his creed, I had 
 aimed the question at my Old Cattleman. 
 
 " No," he continued, declining a proffered cigar, 
 " I ll smoke my old pipe to-night. Be I religious? 
 says you. Well, I ain t shorely livin in what you d 
 call * grace/ still I has my beliefs. Back in Ten 
 nessee my folks is Methodis , held to sprinklin an* 
 sech ; however, for myse f, I never banks none on 
 them technicalities. It s deeds that counts with 
 Omnipotence, same as with a vig lance committee ; 
 an , whether a gent is sprinkled or dipped or is as 
 averse to water as Huggins or Old Monte, wont 
 settle whether he wins out a harp or a hot pitchfork 
 in the eternal beyond. 
 
 " No, I ain t a believer in that enthoosiastic sense 
 that fights its way to the mourner s bench an man 
 ifests itse f with groans that daunts hoot-owls into 
 silence. Thar don t appear many preachers out 
 West in my day. Now an then one of these yere 
 divines, who s got strayed or drifted from his 
 proper range, comes buttin his way into Wolfville 
 an puts us up a sermon, or a talkee-talkee. In sech 
 
2i6 "Wolfville Days* 
 
 events we allers listens respectful, an when the 
 contreebution box shows down, we stakes em on 
 their windin way ; but it s all as much for the 
 name of the camp as any belief in them ministra 
 tions doin local good. Shore ! these yere sky- 
 scouts is all right at that. But Wolfville s a hard, 
 practical outfit, what you might call a heap obdur 
 ate, an it s goin to take more than them fitful an* 
 o casional sermons I alloodes to, a hour long an 
 more n three months apart on a av rage, to reach 
 the roots of its soul. When I looks back on Peets 
 an Enright, an Boggs an* Tutt, an Texas Thomp 
 son an Moore, an Cherokee, to say nothin of 
 Colonel Sterett, an recalls their nacheral obstinacy, 
 an* the cheerful conceit wherewith they adheres to 
 their systems of existence, I realizes that them or 
 dinary, every-day pulpit utterances of the sort that 
 saves an satisfies the East, would have about as 
 much ser ous effect on them cimmaron pards of 
 mine as throwin water on a drowned rat. Which 
 they lives irreg lar, an they re doo to die irreg lar, 
 an if they can t be admitted to the promised land 
 irreg lar, they re shore destined to pitch camp out 
 side. An inasmuch as I onderstands them afore 
 time comrades of mine, an saveys an esteems their 
 ways, why, I reckons I ll string my game with 
 theirs a whole lot, an* get in or get barred with 
 Wolfville. 
 
 " No ; I ve no notion at all ag inst a gospel 
 spreader. When Short Creek Dave gets religion 
 over in Tucson, an descends on us as a exhorter, 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkins. 217 
 
 although I only knows Short Creek thartofore as 
 the coldest poker sharp that ever catches a gent 
 bl tiffin* on a 4-flush, I hesitates not, but encourages 
 an caps his game. But I can t say that the sight 
 of a preacher-gent affords me peace. A preacher 
 frets me ; not for himse f exactly, but you never 
 sees preachers without seein p lice folks preachers 
 an* p lice go hand in hand, like prairie dogs an* 
 rattlesnakes an born as I be in Tennessee, where 
 we has our feuds an where law is a interference an 
 never a protection, I m nacherally loathin con 
 stables complete. 
 
 "But if I ain t religious," he rambled on while 
 he puffed at his Bull Durham vigorously, "you can 
 resk a small stack that neither I ain t sooperstitious. 
 Take Boggs an Cherokee, you-all recalls how long 
 ago I tells you how sooperstitious them two is. 
 Speakin of Boggs, who s as good a gent an as 
 troo a friend as ever touches your glass; he s 
 sooperstitious from his wrought-steel spurs to his 
 bullion hatband. Boggs has more signs an omens 
 than some folks has money ; everything is a tip 
 or a hunch to Boggs ; an he lives surrounded by 
 inflooences. 
 
 "Thar s a peaked old sport named Ryder per- 
 vades Wolfville for a while. He s surly an gnurlly 
 an* omeny, Ryder is ; an has one of them awful 
 lookin* faces where the feachers is all c llected in 
 the middle of his visage, an bunched up like they s 
 afraid of Injuns or somethin* else that threatenin 
 an hostile them sort of countenances you notes 
 
2i8 Wolfville Days. 
 
 carved on the far ends of fiddles. We-all is averse 
 to Ryder. An this yere Ryder himse f is that con 
 tentious an contradictory he won t agree to noth- 
 in . Jest to show you about Ryder : I has in 
 mind once when a passel of us is lookin at a paper 
 that s come floatin in from the States. Thar s the 
 picture of a cow-puncher into it who s a dead ringer 
 for Dave Tutt. From y ears to hocks that picture 
 is Tutt ; an thar we-all be admirin* the likeness an* 
 takin* our licker conjunctive. While thus spec - 
 latin on them resemblances, this yere sour old mav 
 erick, Ryder, shows up at the bar for nourishment. 
 
 " Don t tell Ryder about how this yere deeline- 
 ation looks like Tutt, says Doc Peets ; I ll saw it 
 off on him raw for his views, and ask him whatever 
 does he think himse f. 
 
 " * See yere, Ryder/ says Peets, shovin* the 
 paper onder the old t rant ler s nose as he sets down 
 his glass, whoever does this picture put you in 
 mind of? Does it look like any sport you knows ? 
 
 " No, says Ryder, takin the paper an puttin 
 on his specks, an at the same time as thankless after 
 his nose-paint as if he d been refoosed the bever 
 age ; no, it don t put me in mind of nothin nor 
 nobody. One thing shore, an you-all hold-ups 
 can rope onto that for a fact, it don t remind me 
 none of Dave Tutt. 
 
 " Which Boggs, who, as I says, is allers herdin* 
 ghosts, is sooperstitious about old Ryder. That s 
 straight ; Boggs won t put down a bet while this Ry 
 der person s in sight. I ve beheld Boggs, jest as he s 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkins. 219 
 
 got his chips placed, look up an c llect a glimpse 
 of them fiddle-feachers of Ryder. 
 
 " Whoop ! says Boggs to Cherokee, who would 
 be behind the box, an* spreadin his hands in ree- 
 monstrance ; nothin goes ! An then Boggs 
 would glare at this Ryder party ontil he d fade 
 from the room. 
 
 " He s timid of Boggs, too, this yere Ryder is ; 
 an as much as ever it s this horror of Boggs which 
 prevails on him to shift his blankets to Red Dog 
 the same bein a low-down plaza inhabited by 
 drunkards an Mexicans, in proportions about a 
 even break of each, an which assoomes in its delir 
 ium treemors way to be a rival of Wolfville. 
 
 " * Which I m a public benefactor, says Boggs, 
 when he s informed that he s done froze this Ryder 
 out of camp, * an if you sports a preciates me at 
 my troo valyoo, you-all would proffer me some sech 
 memento mebby as a silver tea-set. Me makin 
 this Ryder vamos is the greatest public improve 
 ment Wolfville s experienced since the lynchin of 
 B ar Creek Stanton. You-all ain t s fficiently on 
 the quee vee, as they says in French, to be aware 
 of the m lignant atmospheres of this yere Ryder. 
 He d hoodoo a hill, or a pine-tree, Ryder would, 
 let alone anythin as onstable as my methods of 
 buckin faro-bank. Gone to Red Dog, has he? 
 Bueno ! He leaves us an attaches himse f to our 
 enemies. I ll bet a pinto hoss that somethin 
 happens to them Red Dog tarrapins inside of a 
 week. 
 
220 "Wolfvilk Days. 
 
 " An , son, while said riotous prophecies of Boggs 
 don t impress me a little bit, I m bound to admit 
 that the second night followin the heegira of this 
 yere Ryder, an his advent that a-way into Red 
 Dog, a outcast from the Floridas, who goes locoed 
 as the frootes of a week of Red Dog gayety, sets 
 fire to the sityooation while shootin* out the dance- 
 hall lamps, an burns up half Red Dog, with the 
 dance hall an the only two s loons in the outfit ; 
 tharby incloodin* every drop of whiskey in the 
 holycaust. It was awful ! Which, of course, we 
 comes to the rescoo. Red Dog s our foe ; but thar 
 be c lamities, son, which leaves no room in the hoo- 
 man heart for anythin but pity. An thu is one. 
 Wolfville rolls out the needed nose-paint for Red 
 Dog, desolated as I says, an holds the fraternal 
 glass to the Red Dog lips till its freighters brings 
 relief from Tucson. 
 
 " All the same, while as I assures you thar s nothin* 
 sooperstitious about me, I can t he p, when Red Dog 
 burns that a-way, but think of them bluffs of Boggs 
 about this yere old Ryder party bein a hoodoo. 
 Shore ! it confirms Boggs in them weaknesses. An 
 he even waxes puffed up an puts on dog about it ; 
 an if ever thar s a dispoote about one of his omens 
 an* thar s a lot from time to time, because Boggs 
 is plumb reedic lous as to em he ups an staggers 
 the camp by demandin , Don t I call the turn that 
 time when Ryder goes retreatin over to Red Dog ? 
 If I don t, I ll turn Chink an open a laundry. 
 
 " Speakin of omens, of course thar be some, as 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkms. 221 
 
 I tell you yeretofore in that Wolfville book you ve 
 done printed, so common an practical every gent 
 must yield to em. Thar s places where mere sooper- 
 stition gets up from the table, an mule-sense takes its 
 seat. If I meets a gentevolvin outcries of glee, an 
 walkin on both sides of the street, an most likely 
 emptyin a Colt s pistol at the firmament, an all 
 without obv ous cause, I dedooces the presence in 
 that gent s interior of a lib ral freight of nose-paint. 
 If, as I m proceedin about my destinies, I hears the 
 voice of a gun, I argues the existence of aweepon in 
 my vicinity. If the lead tharfrom cuts my saddle- 
 horn, or creases my pony, or plugs a double hole in 
 my sombrero, or some sech little play, I flies to a 
 theery that the knight errant who s back of the racket 
 means me, onlimbers my field piece, an* enters into 
 the sperit of the eepisode. Which I gives you this 
 in almost them very words before. Still, signs an 
 omens in what Doc Peets would term their occult 
 isms, I passes up. I wouldn t live in them ap 
 prehensions that beleaguers Boggs for a full herd of 
 three-year-olds. 
 
 " Which I ll never forget them eloocidations 
 Enright enfolds on Boggs one evenin about the 
 mournin an the howlin of some hound-dogs that s 
 been sendin thrills through Boggs. It s when 
 some outfit of mountebanks is givin a show called 
 Uncle Tom s Cabin, over to Huggins Bird Cage 
 Op ry House, an these yere saddenin* canines big, 
 lop-y eared hound-dogs, they be works in the 
 piece. 
 
222 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " Do you-all hear them hound-dogs a-mournin* 
 an* a-bayin last evenin ? asked Boggs of Enright 
 
 " Shore ! I hears em, says Enright. 
 
 " Enright, that a-way, is allers combatin of Boggs 
 sooperstitions. As he says, if somebody don t head 
 Boggs off, them deloosions spreads, an the first 
 news you gets, Wolfville s holdin* table-tippin s an 
 is goin all spraddled out on seances an sim lar 
 imbecilities, same as them sperit-rappin hold-ups 
 one encounters in the East. In sech event, Red 
 Dog s doo to deem us locoed, an could treat us with 
 jestified disdain. Enright don t aim to allow Wolf 
 ville s good repoote to bog down to any sech extent, 
 none whatever ; an so stands in to protect both 
 the camp an pore Boggs himse f from Boggs weird 
 an ranikaboo idees. So Enright says ag in : Shore ! 
 I hears em. An* what of it ? Can t you-all let a 
 pore pup howl, when his heart is low an his desti 
 nies most likely has got tangled in their rope? 
 
 " Jest the same, says Boggs, * them outcries of 
 theirs makes me feel a heap ambiguous. I m drawin* 
 kyards to a pa r of fours that first howl they emits, 
 an* I smells bad luck an thinks to myse f, " Here s 
 where you get killed too dead to skin ! " But as I 
 takes in three aces, an as the harvest tharof is 
 crowdin hard towards two hundred dollars, I con- 
 cloodes, final, them dogs don t have me on their 
 mind after all ; an so I m appeased a whole lot. 
 Still, I m cur ous to know whatever they re howlin* 
 about anyhow. 
 
 " Which you re too conceited, Boggs, says Tutt t 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkins. 223 
 
 cuttin in on the powwow. * You-all is allers 
 thinkin everythin means you. Now, I hears them 
 dogs howlin , an havin beheld the spectacle they 
 performs in, I sort o allows they re sorrowin over 
 their disgraceful employment sort o shamed of 
 their game. An well them dogs might be bowed 
 in sperit ! for a more mendacious an lyin meelo- 
 dramy than said " Uncle Tom s Cabin," I never yet 
 pays four white chips to see ; an I m from Illinoy, 
 an was a Abe Lincoln man an* a rank black ab li- 
 tionist besides. 
 
 " * Seein I once owns a couple of hundred Gui 
 neas, says Enright, my feelin s ag in slavery never 
 mounts so high as Tutt s ; but as for eloocidatin* 
 them dog-songs that s set your nerves to rnillin , 
 Boggs, it s easy. Whenever you-all hears a dog 
 mournin an howlin like them hound-pups does last 
 night, that s because he smells somethin he can t 
 locate ; an nacherally he s agitated tharby. Now 
 yereafter, never let your imagination pull its picket- 
 pin that a-way, an go to cavortin round permiscus 
 don t go romancin off on any of them ghost round 
 ups you re addicted to. Thar s the whole groosome 
 myst ry laid b ar ; them pups merely smells things 
 they can t locate, an it frets em. 
 
 " None the less, remarks Cherokee Hall, while I 
 reckons Enright gives us the c rrect line on dogs that 
 gets audible that a-way, an onravels them howls in 
 all their meanin s, I confesses I m a heap like Boggs 
 about signs. Mebby, as I says prior, it s because 
 I m a kyard sharp an allers faces my footure over a 
 
224 Wolfville Days, 
 
 faro layout. Anyhow, signs an omens presses on me. 
 For one thing, I m sooperstitious about makin of 
 onyoosal arrangements to protect my play. I never 
 yet tries to cinch a play, an never notes anybody 
 else try, but we-all quits loser. It ain t no use. 
 Every gent, from his cradle to his coffin, has got to 
 take a gambler s chance. Life is like stud-poker ; 
 an Destiny s got an ace buried every time. It either 
 out-lucks you or out-plays you whenever it s so in 
 clined ; an it seems allers so inclined, Destiny does, 
 jest as you re flatterin yourse f you ve got a shore 
 thing. A gent s bound to play fa r with Destiny ; 
 he can put a bet down on that. You can t hold six 
 kyards; you can t deal double; you can t play no 
 cold hands ; you can t bluff Destiny. All you-all 
 can do is humbly an meekly pick up the five kyards 
 that belongs to you, an in a sperit of thankfulness 
 an praise, an frankly admittin that you re lucky to 
 be allowed to play at all, do your lowly best tharwith. 
 Ain t I right, Doc? An Cherokee, lookin warm 
 an* earnest, turns to Peets. 
 
 " As absolootely right as the sights of a Sharp s 
 rifle, says Peets ; an , while I m not yereto render 
 you giddy with encomiums, Cherokee, you shore 
 ought to expand them sentiments into a lecture. 
 
 " Jest to llustrate my meaning* resooms Chero 
 kee, * let me onbosom myse f as to what happens a 
 party back in Posey County, Injeanny. I m plumb 
 callow at the time, bein only about the size an 
 valyoo of a pa r of fives, but I m plenty impressed 
 by them events I m about to recount, an the 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkins* 225 
 
 mem ry is fresh enough for yesterday. But to 
 come fiutterin from my perch. Thar s a sport 
 who makes his home-camp in that hamlet which 
 fosters my infancy ; that is, he s thar about six 
 months in the year. His long suit is playin the 
 ponies he can beat the races ; an where he falls 
 down is faro-bank, which never fails to freeze to all 
 the coin he changes in. That s the palin off his 
 fence ; faro-bank. He never does triumph at it 
 onct. An still the device has him locoed ; he can t 
 let it alone. Jest so shorely as he finds a faro-bank, 
 jest so shorely he sets in ag inst it, an jest so 
 shorely he ain t got a tail-feather left when he quits. 
 " The races is over for the season. It s the first 
 snow of winter on the ground, when our sport 
 comes trailin in to make hisannyooal camp. He s 
 about six thousand dollars strong ; for, as I states, 
 he picks hosses right. An he s been thinkin , too ; 
 this yere sport I m relatin of. He s been roomina- 
 tin the baleful effects of faro-bank in his speshul 
 case. He knows it s no use him sayin he wont buck 
 the game. This person s made them vows before. 
 An they holds him about like cobwebs holds a cow 
 lasts about as long as a drink of whiskey. He s 
 bound, in the very irreg larities of his nacher, an* 
 the deadly idleness of a winter with nothin to do 
 but think, to go to transactin faro-bank. An , as a 
 high-steppin* patriot once says, " jedgin of the 
 footure by the past," our sport s goin to be skinned 
 alive chewed up compared to him a Digger Injun 
 will loom up in the matter of finance like a Steve 
 
226 Wolfville Days. 
 
 Girard. An he knows it. Wherefore this yere 
 crafty sharp starts in to cinch a play ; starts in to 
 defy fate, an rope up an brand the footure, for at 
 least six months to come. An , jest as I argues, 
 Destiny accepts the challenge of this vainglorious 
 sharp ; acccepts it with a grin. Yere s what he 
 does, an yere s what comes to pass. 
 
 " Our wise, forethoughtful sport seeks out the 
 robber who keeps the tavern. " The ponies will be 
 back in May," says he, " an I m perishin of 
 cur osity to know how much money you demands 
 to feed an sleep me till then." The tavern man 
 names the bundle, an the thoughtful sport makes 
 good. Then he stiffens the barkeep for about ten 
 drinks a day ontil the advent of them ponies. Fol- 
 lowin which, he searches out a tailor shop an 
 accoomulates a lib ral trousseau, an* has it packed 
 down to the tavern an filed away in his rooms. 
 "Thar!" he says; "which I reckons now I m 
 strong enough to go the distance. Not even a 
 brace game of faro-bank, nor yet any sim lar dead 
 fall, prevails ag inst me. I flatters myse f, for onct 
 in a way, I ve organized my destinies so that, for 
 six months at least, they ve done got to run troo." 
 
 " It s after supper ; our sport, who s been so 
 busy all day treein the chances an runnin of em 
 out on a limb, is loafin about the bar. O casion- 
 ally he congratulates himse f on havin a long head 
 like a mule ; then ag in he oneasily reverts to the 
 faro game that s tossin an heavin with all sorts o 
 good an bad luck jest across the street. 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkms. 227 
 
 " 4 At first he s plumb inflex ble that a-way, an* is 
 goin to deny himse f to faro-bank. He waxes quite 
 heroic about it, our sport does ; a condition of 
 sperits, by the way, I ve allers noticed is prone to 
 immejetly precede complete c llapse. 
 
 " * These yere reform thoughts of our sport con- 
 soomes a hour. About that time, however, he 
 engages himse f with the fifth drink of nose-paint. 
 Tharupon faro-bank takes on a different tint. His 
 attitoode towards that amoosement becomes en 
 larged ; at least he decides he ll prance over some 
 an take a fall out of it for, say, a hundred or so 
 either way, merely to see if his luck s as black as 
 former. An over capers our sport. 
 
 " * It s the same old song by the same old mock- 
 in -bird. At second drink time followin midnight 
 our sport is broke. As he gets up an stretches 
 round a whole lot in a half-disgusted way, he still 
 can t he p exultin on how plumb cunnin he s 
 been. " I don t say this in any sperit of derision," 
 he remarks to the dealer he s been settin opp site to 
 for eight hours, an who manoovers his fiscal over 
 throw, as aforesaid, " an shorely with no intent 
 to mortify a wolf like you-all, who s as remorseless 
 as he s game, but I foresees this racket an insures 
 for its defeat. You figgers you ve downed me. 
 Mebbyso. All the same, I ve got my game staked 
 out so that I eats, drinks, sleeps, an wears clothes 
 till the comin of them ponies ; an you, an* the 
 angels above, an the demons down onder the sea, 
 is powerless to put a crimp in them calc lations. 
 
228 Wolfville Days. 
 
 I ve got the next six months pris ner ; I ve turned 
 the keys onto em same as if they re in a calaboose. 
 An no power can rescoo em none ; an they can t 
 break jail." 
 
 " l An jest to show you-all, continyoos Cherokee, 
 after pausin to tip the bottle for a spoonful, as well 
 as let the sityooation sort o trickle into us in all its 
 outlines Cherokee is plenty graphic that a-way, 
 an knows how to frame up them recitals so they 
 takes effect an jest to show you, as I remarks 
 former, that eyery gent is bound to take a gamb 
 ler s chance an that shore-things don t exist, let me 
 ask you what happens? Our confident sport ain t 
 hardly got that bluff hung up before " Inglego- 
 jang! inglegojang ! " goes the church bell in alarm ; 
 the tavern s took fire an burns plumb to the 
 ground ; drinks, chuck, bed, raiment, the whole 
 bunch of tricks ; an thar s our wise sport out in 
 the snow an nothin but a black ruck of smokin 
 ruins to remind him of that cinch of his. 
 
 " It s a lesson to him, though. As he stands 
 thar meditatin on the expectedness of the onex- 
 pected, he observes to himse f, " Providence, if so 
 minded, can beat a royal flush ; an any gent holdin 
 contrary views is a liar, amen ! " 
 
 " Good, Cherokee ! says Texas Thompson, as 
 Cherokee comes to a halt ; I m yere to observe 
 you re a mighty excellent racontoor. Yere s look- 
 in at you ! an Thompson raises his glass. 
 
 " I catches your eye, says Cherokee, a heap 
 pleased, as he p litely caroms his glass ag in Thomp 
 son s. 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkins, 229 
 
 " But Cherokee/ whispers Faro Nell, from where 
 she s clost by his side, * if thar s somethin I de 
 sires a whole lot, an is doin my level best to de 
 serve an keep it all my life, do you-all reckon now 
 that Providence ups an* throws me down ? 
 
 " Not you, Nell, says Cherokee, as he smiles 
 on Faro Nell, an kind o surreptitious pats her 
 ha r ; * not you. Providence guides your game an 
 guarantees it. I m only discussin of men. It s 
 one of the best things about both Providence an 
 woman, an to the credit of all concerned, that they 
 allers agrees allers goes hand in hand. 
 
 " An that last utterance is a fact, observes 
 Dave Tutt, who s been interested deep. * When I 
 first weds Tucson Jennie that time, I doubts them 
 tenets. That s over a year ago, an you bet I m 
 settin yere to-day in possession of a new faith. It 
 takes time to teach me, but I now sees that Tucson 
 Jennie s the onfalterin mouth-piece of eternal 
 trooth ; the full partner of Providence, a-holdin 
 down the post of lookout ; an that when she sets 
 forth things, them things is decreed an foreor 
 dained. " 
 
 And now my friend lapsed into silence and began 
 to reload his pipe. " I used to smoke Lone Jack 
 out on the plains," he murmured, "or mebby 
 Frootes an Flowers ; but I don t know ! I fig- 
 gers this yere Bull Durham s got more force of 
 char cter." 
 
 Then came more silence. But the night was 
 young ; I was disposed to hear further of Wolfville 
 
23 Wolfville Days. 
 
 and its worthy citizens. My readiest method was 
 to put forth a question. 
 
 " But how about yourself ? " I asked; " Do you, 
 like Hall and Boggs, believe that Heaven especially 
 interferes with the plans of man ; or that a chal 
 lenge, direct or otherwise, to the Powers Above, is 
 liable to earn reply ? " 
 
 " I states ag in," he retorted, puffing a calmative 
 cloud the while, " I states ag in : Thar s no sooper- 
 stition ridin the ranges of my breast. Yet I sees 
 enough in a long an more or less eventful life not 
 to say an ill-employed life to know that Provi 
 dence packs a gun ; an , as more than one scoffer 
 finds out, she don t go heeled for fun. Thar s that 
 Gene Watkins, who gets killed by lightnin over by 
 the Eagle Claw that time ; downed for blasphemin , 
 he is." 
 
 " Let me hear about this Watkins," I urged ; " no 
 one is more interested in the doings of Providence 
 than I." 
 
 " Which from what little I notes of you," he ob 
 served, regarding me with a glance of dubious, sour 
 suspicion, " you-all shore ought to be. An I ll tell 
 you one thing: If Providence ever gets wearied of 
 the way you acts an it ain t none onlikely you 
 might as well set in your chips an quit. 
 
 " But as to this yere Watkins : I don t know 
 about the wisdom of burdenin you with Watkins. 
 It s gettin plenty late, an I m some fatigued my- 
 se f ; I must be organizin to bed myse f down a lot 
 for the night. I ain t so cap ble of sleeplessness as 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkins. 231 
 
 I am way back yonder in the years when I m 
 workin cattle along the old Jones an Plummer 
 trail. However, it won t take long, this Watkins 
 killin ; an seein my moods is in the saddle that 
 a-way, I may as well let you have it. This yere 
 ain t a story exackly ; it s more like a aneckdote ; 
 but it allers strikes me as sheddin a ray on them 
 speshul Providences. 
 
 "This Watkins is a mere yooth ; he jumps into 
 Wolfville from the Texas Panhandle, where, it s 
 rumored, he s been over free with a gun. How 
 ever, that don t bother us a bit. Arizona conducts 
 herse f on the principle of everybody ridin his own 
 sign-camps, an she ain t roundin* up escaped felons 
 for no commoonity but herse f. 
 
 " The first time I sees this Watkins party is one 
 evenin when he sa nters down the middle aisle of 
 the Bird Cage Op ry House, with his lariat in his 
 hands, an tosses the loop over a lady who s jest 
 then renderin that good old hymn : 
 
 " In the days of old, the days of gold, 
 The days of forty-nine ! 
 
 " It s mighty discouragin , this Watkins breakin 
 in on them melodies. It s more than discouragin , 
 it s scand lous. The loop is a bit big, an falls cl ar 
 down an fastens to this cantatrice by the fetlocks. 
 An then this locoed Watkins turns loose to pull 
 her over the footlights. Which the worst is, havin 
 her by the heels, an shesettin down that a-way, he 
 pulls that lady over the footlights the wrong way. 
 
232 Wolfvillc Days* 
 
 " It s at this epock, Jack Moore, who in his capac 
 ty of marshal is domineerin about down in front, 
 whacks Watkins over the head with his six-shooter, 
 an the lady s saved. 
 
 " What be you-all tryin to do with this diva? 
 demands Moore of the Watkins party. 
 
 " Which I m enamored of her, says this yere 
 Watkins, an thar s a heap of things I was aimin to 
 pour into her y ears. But now you ve done pounded 
 me on top with that gun, they all gets jolted out of 
 my mind/ 
 
 " Jest the same, says Moore, if I was you, I d 
 take the saddle off my emotions, an hobble em out 
 to rest some. Meanwhile I d think up a new system. 
 You-all lacks reticence ; also you re a heap too much 
 disposed to keep yourse f in the public eye. I 
 don t know how it is in Texas, but yere in Arizona 
 a gent who gets too cel brated gets shot. Also, I 
 might add in concloosion that your Panhandle no 
 tions of a good way to get confidenshul with a lady 
 don t obtain none yere they don t go. An so I 
 warns you, never express your feelin s with a lariat 
 in this theayter no more. Wolfville yields leeni- 
 ency to ign rance once, but never ag in. 
 
 " But, as I m sayin ; about this Watkins over on 
 the Eagle Claw : Thar s a half-dozen of us a 
 floatin outfit we be, ridin the range, pickin up 
 what calves misses the spring brandin an we re 
 bringin along mebby three hundred cows an half- 
 grown calves, an* headin for the bar-B-eight that s 
 Enright s brand corral to mark the calves. It s 
 
The Defiance of Gene Watkins. 233 
 
 late in August, jest at the beginnin of the rains. 
 Thar s a storm, an everybody s in the saddle, 
 plumb down to the cook, tryin to hold the bunch. 
 It s flash on flash of lightnin ; an thunder followiii 
 on the heels of thunder-clap. As we-all is cirklin the 
 little herd, an singin to em to restore their reason 
 with sounds they saveys, thar comes a most inord - 
 nate flash of lightnin , an* a crash of thunder like 
 a mountain fallin* ; it sort o stands us up on our 
 hocks. It makes the pore cattle bat their eyes, an 
 almost knocks their horns off. 
 
 " Thar s a moment of silence followin ; an then 
 this yere ontamed Watkins, tossin his hand at the 
 sky, shouts out : 
 
 " Blaze away ! my gray-head creator ! You-all 
 has been shootin at me for twenty years ; you ain t 
 hit me yet ! 
 
 " Watkins is close to Boggs when he cuts loose 
 this yere defiance ; an it simply scares Boggs cold ! 
 He s afraid he ll get picked off along with Watkins. 
 Boggs, in his frenzy, pulls his six-shooter, an goes to 
 dictatin with it towards Watkins. 
 
 " Pull your freight, roars Boggs ; * don t you 
 stay near me none. Get, or I ll give you every 
 load in the gun/ 
 
 " This Watkins person spurs his cayouse away ; 
 at the same time he s laughin at Boggs, deemin* 
 his terrors that a-way as reedic lous. As he does, 
 a streak of white fire comes down, straight as a 
 blazin arrer, an with it sech a whirl of thunder, 
 which I thought the earth had split ! An it shorely 
 runs the devil s brand on Watkins. 
 
234 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " When we recovers, thar he lies ; dead an his 
 pony dead with him. An he must have got the 
 limit ; for, son, the very rowels of his spurs is 
 melted. Right in the middle of his leather hat 
 band, where it covers his fore ead, thar s burned a 
 hole about the size of a 44-calibre bullet ; that s 
 where the bolt goes in. I remembers, as we gath 
 ers round, how Boggs picks up the hat. It s 
 stopped rainin of a sudden, an the stars is showin 
 two or three, where the clouds is partin away. 
 Boggs stands thar lookin first at the sky, an then 
 at the hat where the hole is. Then he shakes his 
 head. She s a long shot, but a center one/ says 
 Boggs." 
 
CHAPTER XVI* 
 
 Colonel Sterett s War Record. 
 
 IT had been dark and overcast as to skies ; the 
 weather, however, was found serene and balmy 
 enough. As I climbed the steps after my afternoon 
 canter, I encountered the Old Cattleman. He was 
 re-locating one of the big veranda chairs more to 
 his comfort, and the better to enjoy his tobacco. 
 He gave me a glance as I came up. 
 
 " Them s mighty puny spurs," he observed with 
 an eye of half commiseration, half disdain ; " them s 
 shore reedic lous. Which they d destroy your 
 standin with a cow pony, utter. He d fill up with 
 contempt for you like a water-hole in April. 
 Shore ! it s the rowels ; they oughter be about 
 the size an shape of a mornin star, them rowels 
 had. Then a gent might hope for action. An 
 whyever don t you-all wear leather chapps that 
 a-vvay, instead of them jimcrow boots an trousers ? 
 They re plumb amoosin , them garments be. No, 
 I onderstands ; you don t go chargin about in the 
 bresh an* don t need chapps, but still you oughter 
 don em for the looks. Thar s a wrong an a right 
 way to do ; an chapps is right. Thar s Johnny 
 Cook of the Turkey Track ; he s like you ; he con 
 temns chapps. Johnny charges into a wire fence 
 
236 Wolfville Days. 
 
 one midnight, sort o sidles into said boundary full 
 surge; after that Johnny wears chapps all right. 
 Does it hurt him? Son, them wires t ars enough 
 hide off Johnny, from some ers about the hock, to 
 make a saddle cover, an he loses blood sufficient 
 to paint a house. He comes mighty near goin shy 
 a laig on the deal. It s a lesson on c rrect costumes 
 that Johnny don t soon forget. 
 
 " No, I never rides a hoss none now. These yere 
 Eastern saddles ain t the right model. Which they s 
 a heap too low in the cantle an too low in the horn. 
 An* them stirrup leathers is too short, an two inches 
 too far for ard. I never does grade over-high for 
 ridin a hoss, even at my best. No, I don t get^ 
 pitched off more n is comin to me ; still, I ain t 
 p inted out to tenderfeet as no Centaur as Doc 
 Peets calls em. I gets along without buckin straps, 
 an my friends don t have to tie no roll of blankets 
 across my saddle-horn, an that s about the best I 
 can report. 
 
 " Texas Thompson most likely is the chief 
 equestr an of Wolfville. One time Texas makes a 
 wager of a gallon of licker with Jack Moore, an 
 son ! yere s what Texas does. I sees him with these 
 eyes. Texas takes his rope an ties down a bronco ; 
 one the record whereof is that he s that toomultu- 
 ous no one can ride him. Most gents would have 
 ducked at the name of this yere steed, the same 
 bein Dynamite. But Texas makes the bet I 
 mentions, an lays for this onrooly cayouse with all 
 the confidence of virgin gold that a-way. 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record* 237 
 
 " Texas ropes an ties him down an cinches the 
 saddle onto him while he s layin thar ; Tutt kneelin 
 on his locoed head doorin the ceremony. Then 
 Tutt throws him loose ; an when he gets up he 
 nacherally rises with Texas Thompson on his back. 
 
 " First, that bronco stands in a daze, an Texas 
 takes advantage of his trance to lay two silver dol 
 lars on the saddle, one onder each of his laigs. An* 
 final, you should shorely have beheld that bronco 
 put his nose between his laigs an arch himse f an 
 buck ! Reg lar worm-fence buckin it is ; an when 
 he ain t hittin the ground, he s shore abundant 
 in that atmosphere a lot. 
 
 " In the midst of these yere flights, which the 
 same is enough to stim late the imagination of a 
 Apache, Texas, as ca m an onmoved as the Spanish 
 Peaks, rolls an lights a cigarette. Then he picks 
 up the bridle an gives that roysterin bronco jest 
 enough of the Mexican bit to fill his mouth with 
 blood an his mind with doubts, an stops him. 
 When Texas swings to the ground, them two silver 
 dollars comes jinglin along; which he holds em to 
 the saddle that a-way throughout them exercises. 
 It s them dollars an the cigarette that raises the 
 licker issue between Jack an Texas ; an of course, 
 Texas quits winner for the nose-paint." 
 
 I had settled by this time into a chair convenient 
 to my reminiscent companion, and relishing the 
 restful ease after a twenty-mile run, decided to pro 
 long the talk. Feeling for subjects, I became 
 tentatively curious concerning politics. 
 
238 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " Cow people," said my friend, " never saveys 
 pol tics. I wouldn t give a Mexican sheep which 
 is the thing of lowest valyoo I knows of except 
 Mexicans themse fs for the views of any cow- 
 puncher on them questions of state. You can 
 gamble an make the roof the limit, them opinions, 
 when you-all once gets em rounded up, would be 
 shore loodicrous, not to say footile. 
 
 " Now, we-all wolves of Wolfville used to let 
 Colonel Sterett do our polit cal yelpin for us ; sort 
 o* took his word for p sition an stood pat tharon. 
 It s in the Red Light the very evenin when Texas 
 subdoos that bronco, an lets the whey outen Jack 
 Moore to the extent of said jug of Valley Tan, that 
 Colonel Sterett goes off at a round road-gait on this 
 yere very topic of pol tics, an winds up by tellin* 
 us of his attitood, personal, doorin the civil war, an 
 the debt he owes some Gen ral named Wheeler for 
 savin of his life. 
 
 " 4 Pol tics, remarks Colonel Sterett on that 
 o casion, re-fillin his glass for the severaleth time, 
 * jest nacherally oozes from a editor, as you-all who 
 reads reg larly the Coyote b ars witness ; he s sat 
 urated with pol tics same as Huggins is with whiskey. 
 As for myse f, aside from my vocations of them 
 tripods, pol tics is inborn in me. I gets em from 
 my grandfather, as tall a sport an as high-rollin a 
 statesman as ever packs a bowie or wins the beef at 
 a shootin match in old Kaintucky. Yes, sir, says 
 the Colonel, an thar s a pensive look in his eyes 
 like he s countin up that ancestor s merits in his 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record. 239 
 
 mem ry ; * pol tics with me that-away is shore con 
 genital. 
 
 " Congenital ! says Dan Boggs, an his tones is 
 a heap satisfact ry ; * an thar s a word that s good 
 enough for a dog. I reckons I ll tie it down an 
 brand it into my bunch right yere. 
 
 " My grandfather, goes on the Colonel, * is 
 a Jackson man ; from the top of the deck plumb 
 down to the hock kyard, he s nothirT but Jackson. 
 This yere attitood of my grandsire, an him camped 
 in the swarmin midst of a Henry Clay country, is 
 frootf ul of adventures an calls for plenty nerve. But 
 the old Spartan goes through. 
 
 " Often as a child, that old gent has done took 
 me on his knee an told me how he meets up first 
 with Gen ral Jackson. He s goin* down the river 
 in one of them little old steamboats of that day, 
 an the boat is shore crowded. My grandfather 
 has to sleep on the floor, as any more in the bunks 
 would mean a struggle for life an death. Thar s 
 plenty of bunkless gents, however, besides him, an 
 as he sinks into them sound an dreamless slumbers 
 which is the her tage of folks whose consciences run 
 troo, he hears em drinkin an talkin an barterin 
 mendacity, an argyfyin pol tics on all sides. 
 
 " My grandfather sleeps on for hours, an is only 
 aroused from them torpors, final, by some sport 
 chunkin him a thump in the back. The old lion is 
 sleepin* on his face, that a-way, an when he gets 
 mauled like I relates, he wakes up an goes to 
 struggle to his feet. 
 
Wolfville Days. 
 
 " * " B ars an* buffaloes ! " says my grandfather ; 
 " whatever s that ? " 
 
 " " Lay still, stranger," says the party who 
 smites him ; " I ve only got two to go." 
 
 " That s what it is. It s a couple of gents play- 
 in seven-up ; an* bein crowded, they yootilizes my 
 grandfather for a table. This sport is swingin the 
 ace for the opp site party s jack, an he boards his 
 kyard with that enthoosiasm it comes mighty clost 
 to dislocatin my old gent s shoulder. But he s the 
 last Kaintuckian to go interferin with the reecrea- 
 tions of others, so he lays thar still an prone till 
 the hand s played out. 
 
 " " High, jack, game ! " says the stranger, count- 
 in* up ; " that puts me out an one over for lannyap." 
 
 " This yere seven-up gent turns out to be Gen - 
 ral Jackson, an him an my grandfather camps 
 down in a corner, drinks up the quart of Cincinnati 
 Rectified which is the stakes, an becomes mootually 
 acquainted. An , gents, I says it with pride, the 
 hero of the Hoss-shoe, an* the walloper of them 
 English at New Orleans takes to my grandfather 
 like a honeysuckle to a front porch. 
 
 " My grandfather comes plenty near forfeitin 
 them good opinions of the Gen ral, though. It s 
 the next day, an that ancestor of mine an the 
 Gen ral is recoverin* themse fs from the conversation 
 of the night before with a glass or two of tanzy 
 bitters, when a lady, who descends on the boat at 
 Madison, comes bulgin into the gents cabin. The 
 capfiin an two or three of the boat s folks tries to 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record. 241 
 
 herd her into the women s cabin ; but she withers 
 em with a look, breshes em aside, an stampedes 
 along in among the men-people like I explains. 
 About forty of em s smokin ; an* as tobacco is a 
 fav rite weakness of the tribe of Sterett, my grand 
 father is smokin too. 
 
 " * " I wants you-all to make these yere miscreants 
 stop smokin ," says the lady to the captain, who 
 follows along thinkin mebby he gets her headed 
 right after she s had her run out an tires down 
 some. " You re the captain of this tub," says the 
 lady, " an I demands my rights. Make these 
 barb rous miscreants stop smokin , or I leaves the 
 boat ag in right yere." 
 
 " The lady s plumb fierce, an* her face, which is 
 stern an heroic, carries a capac ty for trouble lurk- 
 in* round in it, same as one of them bald hornet s 
 nests on a beech limb. Nacherally my grandfather s 
 gaze gets riveted on this lady a whole lot, his pipe 
 hangin* forgetful from his lips. The lady s eyes all 
 at once comes down on my grandfather, partic lar 
 an* personal, like a milk-crock from a high shelf. 
 
 " "An I means you speshul," says the lady, 
 p intin the ringer of scorn at my grandfather. 
 " The idee of you standin thar smokin in my very 
 face, an* me a totterin invalid. It shorely shows 
 you ain t nothin* but a brute. If I was your wife 
 I d give you p isen." 
 
 " * " Which if you was my wife, I d shore take it," 
 says my grandfather ; for them epithets spurs him 
 on the raw, an he forgets he s a gent, that a- vay, 
 
242 Wolfville Days. 
 
 an* lets fly this yere retort before he can give him* 
 se f the curb. 
 
 " The moment my grandfather makes them ob 
 servations, the lady catches her face which as I 
 tells you is a cross between a gridiron an* a steel 
 trap with both her hands, shakes her ha r down 
 her back, an cuts loose a scream which, like a b ar 
 in a hawg-pen, carries all before it. Then she falls 
 into the captain s arms an orders him to pack her 
 out on deck where she can faint. 
 
 " " Whatever be you-all insultin this yere lady 
 for ? " says a passenger, turnin on my grandfather 
 like a crate of wildcats. " Which I m the Roarin 
 Wolverine of Smoky Bottoms, an I waits for a 
 reply." 
 
 " My grandfather is standin thar some con- 
 foosed an wrought up, an as warm as a wolf, 
 thinkin how ornery he s been by gettin acrid with 
 that lady. The way he feels, this yere Roarin 
 Wolverine party comes for ard as a boon. The old 
 gent simply falls upon him, jaw an claw, an goes 
 to smashin furniture an fixin s with him. 
 
 " The Roarin Wolverine allows after, when him 
 an my grandfather drinks a toddy an compares 
 notes, while a jack-laig doctor who s aboard sews 
 the Roarin Wolverine s y ear back on, that he thinks 
 at the time it s the boat blowin up. 
 
 " " She s shore the vividest skrimmage I ever 
 partic pates in," says the Roarin Wolverine ; "an* 
 the busiest. I wouldn t have missed it for a small 
 clay farm." 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record* 243 
 
 " * But Gen ral Jackson when he comes back from 
 offerin condolences to the lady, looks dignified an* 
 shakes his head a heap grave. 
 
 " " Them contoomelious remarks to the lady," he 
 says to my grandfather, " lowers you in my esteem 
 a lot. An while the way you breaks up that settee 
 with the Roarin Wolverine goes some towards re- 
 establishin you, still I shall not look on you as the 
 gent I takes you for, ontil you seeks this yere in 
 jured female an crawfishes on that p isen-takin* 
 bluff." 
 
 " So my grandfather goes out on deck where the 
 lady is still sobbin an* hangin on the captain s neck 
 like the loop of a rope, an apol gizes. Then the 
 lady takes a brace, accepts them contritions, an 
 puts it up for her part that she can see my grand 
 father s a shore-enough gent an a son of chivalry ; 
 an with that the riot winds up plumb pleasant all 
 round. 
 
 " If I may come romancin* in yere/ says Doc 
 Peets, sort o breakin into the play at this p int, 
 with a interruption, I wants to say that I regyards 
 this as a very pretty narratif, an requests the drinks 
 onct to the Colonel s grandfather. We drinks ac- 
 cordin , an the Colonel resoomes. 
 
 " My grandfather comes back from this yere ex 
 pedition down the Ohio a most voylent Jackson 
 man. An he s troo to his faith as a adherent to 
 Jackson through times when the Clay folks gets 
 that intemp rate they hunts em with dogs. The 
 old gent was wont, as I su gests, to regale my 
 
244 Wolfville Days. 
 
 childish y ears with the story of what he suffers. 
 He tells how he goes pirootin off among the farm 
 ers in the back counties; sleepin on husk beds, till 
 the bed-ropes cuts plumb through an* marks out a 
 checker-board on his frame that would stay for 
 months. Once he s sleepin in a loft, an all of a 
 sudden about daybreak the old gent hears a squall 
 that mighty near locoes him, it s so clost an* tum 
 ble. He boils out on the floor an begins to claw 
 on his duds, allowin , bein he s only half awake that 
 a-way, that it s a passel of them murderin Clay 
 Whigs who s come to crawl his hump for shore. 
 But she s a false alarm. It s only a Dom nick 
 rooster who s been perched all night on my grand 
 father s wrist where his arm sticks outen bed, an 
 who s done crowed a whole lot, as is his habit when 
 he glints the comin day. It s them sort o things 
 that sends a shudder through you, an shows what 
 that old patriot suffers for his faith. 
 
 " * But my grandfather keeps on prevailin along 
 in them views ontil he jest conquers his county an 
 carries her for Jackson. Shore ! he has trouble at 
 the polls, an trouble in the conventions. But he 
 persists ; an he s that domineerin an dogmatic 
 they at last not only gives him his way, but comes 
 rackin along with him. In the last convention, he 
 nacherally herds things into a corner, an thar s only 
 forty votes ag in him at the finish. My grand 
 father allers says when relatin of it to me long 
 afterwards : 
 
 " " An grandson Willyum, five gallons more of 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record, 245 
 
 rum would have made that convention yoonani- 
 mous." 
 
 " But what he ps the old gent most towards the 
 last, is a j int debate he has with Spence Wither- 
 spoon, which begins with reecrim nations an* winds 
 up with the guns. Also, it leaves this yere aggra- 
 vatin Witherspoon less a whole lot. 
 
 " < " Wasn t you-all for nullification, an ain t you 
 now for Jackson an the union ? " asks this yere in- 
 sultin Witherspoon. " Didn t you make a Calhoun 
 speech over on Mink Run two years ago, an ain t 
 you at this barbecue, to-day, consoomin burgoo an* 
 shoutin for Old Hickory?" 
 
 " " What you-all states is troo," says my grand 
 father. " But my party turns, an I turns with it. 
 You-all can t lose Jack Sterett. He can turn so 
 quick the heels of his moccasins will be in front." 
 
 " * " Which them talents of yours for change," 
 says Witherspoon, " reminds me a powerful lot of 
 the story of how Jedge Chinn gives Bill Hatfield, 
 the blacksmith, that Berkshire suckin pig." 
 
 " " An whatever is that story ? " asks my 
 grandfather , beginnin to loosen his bowie-knife in 
 its sheath. 
 
 " " Take your paws off that old butcher of 
 your n," returns this pesterin Witherspoon, "an* 
 I ll tell the story. But you ve got to quit triflin 
 with that leven-inch knife ontil I m plumb through, 
 or I ll fool you up a lot an jest won t tell it." 
 
 " Tharupon my grandfather takes his hand offen 
 the knife-haft, an Witherspoon branches forth : 
 
246 Wolfville Days* 
 
 " * " When I recalls how this oncompromisin 1 
 outlaw," p intin* to my grandfather, " talks for 
 Calhoun an nullification over on Mink Run, an to 
 day is yere shoutin in a rum-sodden way for the 
 union an Andy Jackson, as I observes yeretofore, 
 it shore reminds me of the story of how Jedge 
 Chinn give Bill Hatfield that Berkshire shoat. 
 Send over one of your niggers with a basket an 
 let him get one, Bill, says Jedge Chinn, who s been 
 tellin Hatfield about the pigs. Next day, Bill 
 mounts his nigger boy, Dick, on a mule, with a 
 basket on his arm, an Dick lines out for Jedge 
 Chinn s for to fetch away that little hcwg. Dick 
 puts him in the basket, climbs onto hi mule, an* 
 goes teeterin out for home. On the way back, 
 Dick stops at Hickman s tavern. While he s pour- 
 in in a gill of corn jooce, a wag who s present sub 
 tracts the pig an puts in one of old Hickman s 
 black Noofoundland pups. When Dick gets home 
 to Bill Hatfield s, Bill takes one look at the pup, 
 breaks the big rasp on Dick s head, throws the fore- 
 hammer at him, an bids him go back to Jedge 
 Chinn an tell him that he, Bill, will sally over the 
 first dull day an p isen his cattle an burn his barns. 
 Dick takes the basket full of dog on his arm, an* 
 goes p intin for Jedge Chinn. Nacherally, Dick 
 stops at Hickman s tavern so as to mollify his 
 feelin s with that red-eye. This yere wag gets in 
 ag in on the play, subtracts the pup an restores the 
 little hawg a whole lot. When Dick gets to Jedge 
 Chinn, he enfolds to the Jedge touchin them trans- 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record* 247 
 
 formations from pig to pup. Pshaw ! says the 
 Jedge, who s one of them pos tive sharps that no 
 ghost tales is goin to shake ; * pshaw ! Bill Hat- 
 field s gettin to be a loonatic. I tells him the last 
 time I has my hoss shod that if he keeps on pourin 
 down that Hickman whiskey, he ll shorely die, an 
 begin by dyin at the top. These yere illoosions of 
 his shows I drives the center. Then the Jedge 
 oncovers the basket an turns out the little hawg. 
 When nigger Dick sees him, he falls on his knees. 
 
 * I m a chu ch member, Marse Jedge, says Dick, 
 
 * an you-all believes what I says. That anamile s 
 conjured, Jedge. I sees him yere an I sees him 
 thar; an , Jedge, he s either pig or pup, whichever 
 way he likes. 
 
 " " An , ladies an gents," concloodes this With- 
 erspoon, makin a incriminatin gesture so s to in- 
 cloode my grandfather that a-way ; " when I reflects 
 on this onblushin turncoat, Jack Sterett, as I states 
 prior, it makes me think of how Jedge Chinn 
 lavishes that Berkshire shoat on blacksmith Bill 
 Hatfield. Confessin that aforetime he s a nullifica 
 tion pig on Mink Run, he sets yere at this barbecue 
 an* without color of shame declar s himse f a union 
 pup. Mister Cha rman, all I can say is, it shore 
 beats squinch owls ! " 
 
 " As the story is finished, the trooce which binds 
 my grandfather ends, an he pulls his bowie-knife 
 an chases this Witherspoon from the rostrum. 
 He d had his detractor s skelp right thar, but the 
 cha rman an other lead in sperits interferes, an* 
 
248 Wolfville Days. 
 
 insists on them resentments of my grandfather s 
 findin the us,ual channel in their expression. 
 Witherspoon, who s got on a new blanket coat, 
 allows he won t fight none with knives as they cuts 
 an sp iles your clothes ; he says he prefers rifles an 
 fifty paces for his. My grandfather, who s the 
 easiest gent to get along with in matters of mere 
 detail, is agree ble ; an as neither him nor Wither 
 spoon has brought their weepons, the two vice 
 pres dents, who s goin to act as seconds the pres- 
 dent by mootual consent dealin the game as 
 referee rummages about arr borrys a brace of 
 Looeyville rifles from members of the Black B ar 
 Glee Club they re the barytone an tenor an 
 my grandfather an the scandal-mongerin Wither 
 spoon is stood up. 
 
 " " Gents," says the pres dent, "the words will 
 be, Fire-one-two-three-stop. It s incumbent on 
 you-all to blaze away anywhere between the words 
 * Fire an Stop . My partin injunctions is, * May 
 heaven defend the right, an be shore an see your 
 hindsights as you onhooks your guns." 
 
 " At the word, my grandfather an Witherspoon 
 responds prompt an* gay. Witherspoon over 
 shoots, while my grandfather plants his lead in 
 among Witherspoon s idees, an that racontoor 
 quits Kaintucky for the other world without a 
 m u rm u r. 
 
 " * " I regyards this event as a vict ry for Jackson 
 an principle," says my grandfather, as he s called 
 on to proceed with his oration, " an* I d like to say 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record* 249 
 
 in that connection, if Henry Clay will count his 
 spoons when he next comes sneakin home from 
 Washington, he ll find he s short Spence Wither- 
 spoon." 
 
 " Your grandfather s a troo humorist, says 
 Texas Thompson, as Colonel Sterett pauses in 
 them recitals of his to reach the bottle ; I looks 
 on that last witticism of his as plumb apt. 
 
 " * My grandfather, resoomes Colonel Sterett, 
 after bein refreshed, is as full of fun as money- 
 musk, an when that audience gets onto the joke in 
 its completeness, the merriment is wide an yooni- 
 versal. It s the hit of the barbecue ; an in this 
 way, little by little, my grandfather wins his neigh 
 bors to his beliefs, ontil he s got the commoonity 
 all stretched an hawgtied, an brands her triumph 
 ant for Gen ral Jackson. 
 
 " l An does your own pap follow in the foot 
 prints of his old gent, as a convincin an determined 
 statesman that a-way ? asks Doc Peets. 
 
 " No, says Colonel Sterett, my own personal 
 parent simmers down a whole lot compared to my 
 grandfather. He don t take his pol tics so much 
 to heart ; his democracy ain t so virulent an don t 
 strike in. His only firm stand on questions of 
 state, as I relates the other day, is when he insists 
 on bein nootral doorin the late war. I explains 
 how he talks federal an thinks reb, an manages, 
 that a-way, to promote a decent average. 
 
 " His nootrality, however, don t incloode the 
 fam ly none. My brother Jeff an* I never beholds 
 
250 Wolfville Days* 
 
 a haughtier sperit goes squanderin off with Mor 
 gan at the first boogie call, 
 
 " That raid of Morgan s, says Enright, his eye 
 brightenin , * is plumb full of dash an fire. 
 
 " Shore, says the Colonel, plumb full of dash 
 an fire. But Jeff tells me of it later, foot by foot, 
 from the time they crosses the river into Injeanny, 
 till they comes squatterin across at Blennerhasset s 
 Island into Kaintucky ag in, an I sadly, though 
 frankly, admits it looks like it possesses some ele 
 ments of a chicken-stealin expedition also. Jeff says 
 he never sees so many folks sincere, an with their 
 minds made up, as him an Morgan an the rest of 
 the Bloo Grass chivalry encounters on that croosade. 
 Thar s an uprisin of the peasantry, Jeff says, where- 
 ever they goes ; an them clods pursooes Jeff an 
 the others, from start to finish, with hoes an rakes 
 an mattocks an clothes-poles an puddin -sticks an 
 other barbarous an* obsolete arms, an never lets 
 up ontil Jeff an* Morgan an their gallant comrades 
 is ag in safe in the arms of their Kaintucky breth 
 ren. Their stay in any given spot is trooly brief. 
 That town of Cincinnati makes up a bundle of 
 money big enough to choke a cow to give em as a 
 ransom ; but Jeff an Morgan never do hear of it 
 for years. They goes by so plumb swift they don t 
 get notice ; an they fades away in the distance so 
 fast they keeps ahead of the news. However, they 
 gets back to Kaintucky safe an covered with dust 
 an glory in even parts ; an as for Jeff speshul, as 
 the harvest of his valor, he reports himse f the 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record. 251 
 
 owner of a one-sixth interest in a sleigh which him 
 an five of his indomitable companions has done 
 drug across the river on their return. But they 
 don t linger over this trophy ; dooty calls em, so 
 they stores the sleigh in a barn an rides away to 
 further honors. 
 
 " We never do hear of Jeff none all through that 
 war but once. After he s j ined Stonewall Jackson, 
 I recalls how he sends home six hundred dollars in 
 confed rate money with a letter to my father. It 
 runs like this : 
 
 In camp with STONEWALL JACKSON. 
 Respected Sir : 
 
 The slave who bears this will give you from me a 
 treasure of six hundred dollars. I desire that you pay the 
 tavern and whatever creditors of mine you find. To owe debts 
 does not comport with the honor of a cavalier, and I propose 
 to silence all base clamors on that head. I remain, most 
 venerated sir, Yours to command, 
 
 JEFFERSON STERETT. 
 
 " That s the last we-all hears of my sens tive an* 
 high-sperited brother ontil after Mister Lee sur 
 renders. It s one mornin when Jeff comes home, 
 an the manner of his return shorely displays his 
 nobility of soul, that a-way, as ondiscouraged an 
 ondimmed. No one s lookin for Jeff partic lar, 
 when I hears a steamboat whistle for our landin . 
 I, bein as I am full of the ontamed cur osity of 
 yooth, goes curvin out to see what s up. I hears 
 the pilot give the engineer the bells to set her back 
 on the sta board wheel, an then on both. The 
 
252 Wolfville Days* 
 
 boat comes driftin in. A stagin is let down, an 
 with the tread of a conqueror who should come 
 ashore but my brother Jeff ! Thar s nothin in his 
 hands ; he ain t got nothin with him that he ain t 
 wearin . An all he has on is a old wool hat, a 
 hick ry shirt, gray trousers, an* a pair of copper- 
 rivet shoes as red as a bay hoss. As he strikes the 
 bank, Jeff turns an sweeps the scene with the eye 
 of a eagle. Then takin a bogus silver watch outen 
 his pocket, he w irls her over his head by the 
 leather string an lets her go out into the river, 
 ker -chunk ! 
 
 " " Which I enters into this yere rebellion," says 
 Jeff, flashin a proud, high glance on me where I 
 stands wonderin , " without nothin , an I proposes 
 to return with honor ontarnished, an as pore as I 
 goes in." 
 
 " As me an Jeff reepairs up to the house, I 
 notes the most renegade-lookin nigger followin 
 behind. 
 
 " " Whoever s this yere nigger ? " I asks. 
 
 " " He s my valet," says Jeff. 
 
 " My arm s a heap too slight, goes on Colonel 
 Sterett, followin a small libation, to strike a 
 blow for the confed racy, but my soul is shorely in 
 the cause. I does try to j ine, final, an is only 
 saved tharfrom, an from what would, ondoubted, 
 have been my certain death, by a reb gen ral named 
 Wheeler. He don t mean to do it ; she s inadver 
 tent so far as he s concerned ; but he saves me jest 
 the same. An settin yere as I be, enjoyin* the 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record. 253 
 
 friendship an esteem of you-all citizens of Wolf- 
 ville, I feels more an more the debt of gratitoode 
 I owes that gallant officer an man. 
 
 " However does this Gen ral Wheeler save 
 you ? asks Dan Boggs. Which I m shore eager 
 to hear. 
 
 " The tale is simple/ responds the Colonel, 
 1 an it s a triboote to that brave commander which 
 I m allers ready to pay. It s in the middle years of 
 the war, an I m goin to school in a village which 
 lies back from the river, an is about twenty miles 
 from my ancestral home. Thar s a stockade in the 
 place which some invadin Yanks has built, an 
 thar s about twenty of em inside, sort o givin 
 orders to the village an makin its patriotic inhabi 
 tants either march or mark time, whichever chances 
 to be their Yankee caprices. 
 
 " As a troo Southern yooth, who feels for his 
 strugglin country, I loathes them Yankees to the 
 limit, an has no more use for em than Huggins 
 has for a temp rance lecturer. 
 
 " One day a troop of reb cavalry jumps into the 
 village, an stampedes these yere invaders plumb 
 off the scene. We gets the news up to the school, 
 an adjourns in a bunch to come down town an* 
 cel brate the success of the Southern arms. As I 
 arrives at the field of carnage, a reb cavalryman is 
 swingin outen the saddle. He throws the bridle of 
 his hoss to me. 
 
 " "See yere, Bud," he says, "hold my hoss a 
 minute while I sees if I can t burn this stockade," 
 
254 Woifville Days, 
 
 " I stands thar while the reb fusses away with 
 some pine splinters an lightwocd, strugglin to 
 inaug rate a holycaust. He can t make the landin ; 
 them timbers is too green, that a-way. 
 
 " While I m standin thar, lendin myse f to this 
 yere conflagratory enterprise, I happens to cast 
 my eyes over on the hills a mile back from the 
 village, an I m shocked a whole lot to observe 
 them eminences an* summits is bloo with Yankees 
 comin . Now I m a mighty careful boy, an I 
 don t allow none to let a ragin clanjamfrey of 
 them Lincoln hirelings caper up on me while I m 
 holdin a reb hoss. So I calls to this yere incendiary 
 trooper where he s blowin an experimentin an 
 still failin* with them flames. 
 
 " "Secesh!"! shouts; "oh, you-all secesh ! 
 You d a mighty sight better come get your hoss, or 
 them Yanks who s bulgin along overyonder ll spread 
 your hide on the fence." 
 
 " This reb takes a look at the Yanks, an then 
 comes an gets his hoss. As he gathers up the 
 bridle rein an swings into the saddle, a mad thirst 
 to fight, die an bleed for my country seizes me, an* 
 I grabs the reb s hoss by the bits an detains him. 
 
 " "Say, Mister," I pleads, " why can t you-all 
 take me with you ? " 
 
 " " Which you re a lot too young, son," says the 
 reb, takin another size-up of the Yanks. 
 
 " " I ain t so young as I looks," I argues ; " I m 
 jest small of my age." 
 
 " u Now, I reckons that s so," says the reb, 
 
Colonel Sterett s War Record. 255 
 
 beam in on me approving "an you re likewise 
 mighty peart. But I ll tell you, Bud, you ain t got 
 no hoss." 
 
 " " That s nothin ," I responds ; " which if you- 
 all will only get me a gun, I can steal a hoss, that 
 a-way, in the first mile." 
 
 " Seein me so ready with them argyments, att" 
 so dead pertinacious to go, this yere trooper 
 begins to act oneasy, like his resolootion gets shook 
 some. At last he gridds his teeth together like his 
 mind s made up. 
 
 " * " Look yere, boy," he says, " do you know who 
 our Gen ral is ? " 
 
 " " No," I says, " I don t." 
 
 " " Well," says the reb, as he shoves his feet 
 deep in the stirrups, an settles in his saddle like 
 he s goin to make some time; "well, he s a ragin* 
 an enfettered maverick, named Wheeler ; an from 
 the way he goes skallyhootin round, he s goin 
 to get us all killed or captured before ever we gets 
 back, an I don t want no chil en on my hands." 
 
 " * With that this yere soldier yanks the bridle 
 outen my grasp, claps the steel into his hoss s flanks, 
 an leaves me like a bullet from a gun. For my 
 part, I stands thar saved ; saved, as I says, by that 
 Gen ral Wheeler s repootation with his men. 
 
CHAPTER XVII. 
 Old Man Enrighf s Love. 
 
 " SON, I m gettin plumb alarmed about myse f," 
 observed the Old Cattleman, as we drew together 
 for our usual talk. " I ve been sort o cog tatin 
 tharof, an I begins to allow I m a mighty sight 
 too garrulous that a-way. This yere conversation 
 habit is shore growin* on me, an , if I don t watch 
 out, I m goin to be a bigger talker than old Vance 
 Groggins," 
 
 " Was Groggins a great conversationist ? " I asked. 
 
 " Does this yere Vance Groggins converse ? 
 Which I wish I has stored by a pint of licker for 
 everythin Vance says ! It would, be a long spell 
 before ever I m driven to go ransackin round to 
 find one of them life-savin stations, called by com 
 mon consent, a s loon ! This Vance don t do 
 nothin but talk; he s got that much to say, it gets 
 in his way. Vance comes mighty clost to gettin a 
 heap the worst of it once merely on account of 
 them powers of commoonication. 
 
 " You see, this yere Vance is a broke-down sport, 
 an* is dealin faro-bank for Jess Jenkins over on the 
 Canadian. An Vance jest can t resist takin part 
 in every conversation that s started. Let two gents 
 
Old Man Enright s Love* 257 
 
 across the layout go to exchangin views, or swappin* 
 observations, an you can gamble that Vance comes 
 jimmin along in. An Vance is allers tellin about 
 his brother Abe. Does a gent mention that he 
 brands eight hundred calves that spring round-up, 
 Vance cuts in with the bluff that his brother Abe 
 brands twelve hundred ; does a sport su gest that 
 he sees a party win four thousand dollars ag in 
 monte or roulette or faro or somesech amoosement, 
 Vance gets thar prompt with some ranikaboo rela 
 tions of a time when his brother Abe goes ag inst 
 Whitey Bob at Wichita, makes a killin of over 
 sixty thousand dollars, an breaks the bank. 
 
 " * My brother Abe, says this yere scand lous 
 Vance that a-way, jest nacherally wins the kyarpets 
 off Whitey Bob s floor. 
 
 " Son, it s simple egreegious the way this Vance 
 carries on in them fool rev lations touchin* his 
 brother Abe. 
 
 " It gets so, final, that a passel of sports lodges 
 complaints with Jenkins. What s the use! says 
 them maddened sports to Jenkins. This Vance 
 don t deal faro-bank; he jest don t do nothin but 
 talk. Thar we sets, our bets on the layout, an we 
 don t get no action. This Vance won t deal a 
 kyard for fear we don t hear about that brother 
 Abe Groggins of his n. 
 
 4< Them criticisms makes Jenkins plenty quer lous. 
 He rounds Vance up an curries him a whole lot. 
 Then he tells Vance to pull his freight ; he don t 
 want him to deal faro-bank for him no more. 
 
Wolfville Days* 
 
 " At this, Vance turns plumb piteous, an* asks 
 Jenkins not to throw him loose, that a-way. An 
 he promises to re-organize an alter his system. 
 * I knows my failings, says Vance a heap mournful. 
 4 You don t have to come round tauntin me with 
 em ; I m dead onto em myse f. I m too frank an 
 I m too sociable ; I m too prone to regale my fellow 
 gents with leafs from my experience ; an* I realize, 
 as well as you do, Jenk, it s wrong. Shorely, I ve 
 no right to stop in the middle of a deal to tell a 
 story an force the hopes an fears, not to say the 
 fortunes, of a half-dozen intense sports, an some of 
 em in the hole at that, to wait till I gets through ! 
 I know it ain t right, Jenk ; but I promises you, if 
 you ll let me go behind the box ag in to-night, on 
 the honor of a kyard sharp, you-all will never hear 
 a yelp outen me from soda to hock. An that s 
 whatever ! 
 
 " It ain t not alone that you talks forever, 
 remonstrates Jenkins; * but it s them frightful lies 
 you tells. Which they re enough to onsettle a 
 gent s play, to say nothin of runnin the resk of 
 raisin a hoodoo an queerin my bank. But I tries 
 you once more, Vance ; only get it straight : So 
 shore as ever you takes to onloadin on the com- 
 pany one of them exaggerations about that felon 
 Abe, I won t say " Go," I ll jest onlimber an burn 
 the moccasins off you with my gun. 
 
 " It s that very night ; Vance has been dealin 
 the game for mighty likely it s three hours, an no 
 one gets a verbal rise outen him more n if he s a 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 259 
 
 graven image. Vance is gettin proud of himse f, 
 an Jenkins, who comes prowlin round the game 
 at times, begins to reckon mebby Vance ll do. All 
 goes well ontil a party lets fly some hyperbole 
 about a tavern he strikes in Little Rock, which for 
 size an extensif characteristics lays over anythin 
 on earth like a summer s cloud. 
 
 " You thinks so ? says Vance, stoppin the deal, 
 an leanin a elbow on the box, while he goes pro- 
 jectin* towards the countenance of the Little Rock 
 party with the forefinger of his other hand, kind o 
 claimin his attention. You thinks so! I allows 
 now you-all reckons that for a hotel, this yere Little 
 Rock edifice is the old he-coon ! Let me tell you 
 somethin : My brother Abe goes out to one of 
 them bathin camps, swept by ocean breezes, on the 
 Pacific slope, an you should shorely oughter behold 
 the joint he slams up ! Pards, thar s more than 
 two thousand rooms in that wickeyup ! It s leven 
 hundred an* twelve foot high, four thousand two 
 
 hundred an* fifty-four foot long, an* It s here 
 
 pore Vance catches Jenkins* eye glarin on him 
 hard an remorseless an twenty foot wide, says 
 Vance, a heap hurried, dashin* the kyards outen the 
 box. Five lose, jack win,* concloodes Vance con- 
 foosedly, makin* a hasty change of subjects. 
 
 "Yes, indeed!" and the old gentleman looked 
 thoughtfully across the lawn as he wound up his 
 tale of the unfortunate Groggins, " Yes, indeed ! 
 If I keeps on talkin* away, I ll become a laughin - 
 stock, same as that locoed Vance ! Thar s one 
 
260 Wolfville Days* 
 
 matter that allers imbues me with a heap of respect 
 for deef an dumb folks ; which they shorely do 
 keep things to themse fs a whole lot." 
 
 It was fifteen minutes before I could convince 
 my friend that his Wolfville stories in no sort 
 diminished his dignity. Also, I reminded him of a 
 promise to one day tell me of Enright s one affair 
 of love ; plainly his. bond in that should be fulfilled. 
 At last he gave way, and after commanding the 
 coming of a favorite and highly refreshing beverage, 
 held forth as follows : 
 
 " It s never been my beliefs," he said, " that Sam 
 Enright would have dipped into them old love 
 concerns of his if he d been himse f. Enright s sick 
 at the time. Shore ! he ain t sick to the p int of 
 bein down in his blankets, an is still meanderin 
 round the camp as dooty dictates or his interest 
 calls, but he s plenty ailin jest the same. Thar s 
 the roodiments of a dispoote between Doc Peets 
 an Enright as to why his health that time is bog- 
 gin down. Peets puts it up it s a over-accoomula- 
 tion of alkali; Enright allows it s because he s born 
 so long ago. Peets has his way, however, bein a 
 scientist that a-way, an* takes possession of the 
 case. 
 
 " No, it ain t them maladies that so weakens 
 Enright he lapses into confidences about his 
 early love ; but you see, son, Peets stops his nose- 
 paint ; won t let him drink so much as a drop ; an 
 bein cut off short on nourishment like I says, it 
 makes Enright at least so I allers figgers some 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 261 
 
 childish an light-headed. That s right ; you remove 
 that good old Valley Tan from the menu of a party 
 who s been adherin an referrin to it year after 
 year for mighty likely all his days, an it sort o* 
 takes the stiffenin outen his dignity a lot ; he 
 begins to onbend an wax easy an confidenshul. 
 Is seems then like he goes about cravin counte 
 nance an support. An down onder my belt, it 
 strikes me at the time, an* it shore strikes me yet, 
 that ravishin* the canteen from Enright, nacherally 
 enfeebles him an* sets him to talkin an tellin of 
 past days. Oh, he don t keep up this yere onhealth- 
 ful abstinence forever. Peets declar s Enright 
 removed from danger, an* asks him to drink, himse f, 
 inside of two weeks. 
 
 " Where a gent, says Peets, elab ratin this yere 
 theery of not drinkin none, * has been crookin his 
 elbow constant, an then goes wrong, bodily, it s a 
 great play to stop his nose-paint abrupt. It s a 
 shock to him, same as a extra ace in a poker deck ; 
 an when a gent is ill, shocks is what he needs. 
 
 " But let me savey about this/ says Dan Boggs, 
 who s allers a heap inquis tive an searchin after 
 knowledge ; do you-all impose this onwonted 
 sobriety as a penalty, or do you make the play mee- 
 dic nal? 
 
 " * Meedic nal, says Peets. * In extreme cases, 
 sobriety is plenty cooratif. 
 
 " Does Enright bow to Doc Peets demands about 
 no whiskey that a-way ? Son, Peets is plumb 
 inex rable about them prescriptions of his. He 
 
262 Wolfville Days* 
 
 looks on the mildest argyment ag in em as personal 
 affronts. Peets is the most immov ble sharp, 
 medical, that ever I crosses up with ; an* when it 
 comes to them prescriptions, the recklessest sport 
 in Arizona lays down his hand. 
 
 " Once I knows Peets to pass on the failin* con 
 dition of a tenderfoot who s bunked in an* allows 
 he ll die a lot over to the O. K. Restauravv. Peets 
 decides this yere shorthorn needs abstinence from 
 licker. Peets breaks the news to the onhappy vic 
 tim, an* puts him on water till the crisis shall be 
 past. Also, Peets notified the Red Light not to 
 heed any requests of this party in respects to said 
 nose-paint. 
 
 " It turns out this sick person, honin* for licker as 
 is plumb nacheral, forgets himse f as a gent an sort 
 o reckons he ll get fraudulent with Peets. He 
 riggers he ll jest come Injunin into the Red Light, 
 quil himse f about a few drinks surreptitious, an 
 then go trackin* back to his blankets, an* Doc Peets 
 none the wiser. So, like I says, this yere ill person 
 fronts softly up to the Red Light bar an calls for 
 Valley Tan. 
 
 "Black Jack, the barkeep, don t know this party 
 from a cross-L steer ; he gets them mandates from 
 Peets, but it never does strike Black Jack that this 
 yere is the dyin sport allooded to. In darkness 
 that a-way, Black Jack tosses a glass on the bar an* 
 shoves the bottle. It shore looks like that failin 
 shorthorn is goin to quit winner, them recooperatifs. 
 
 " But, son, he*s interrupted. He s filled his glass 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 263 
 
 an* he s been plenty free about it an stands 
 thar with the bottle in his hand, when two guns 
 bark, an one bullet smashes the glass an the other 
 the bottle where this person is holdin it. No, this 
 artillery practice don t stampede me none; I m 
 plumb aware it s Doc Peets derringers from the 
 go-off. Peets stands in the door, one of his little 
 pup-guns in each hand. 
 
 " Which I likes your aplomb ! says Black Jack 
 to Peets, as he swabs off the bar in a peevish way. 
 I makes it my boast that I m the best-nachered 
 barkeep between the Colorado an the Rio Grande, 
 an yet I m free to confess, sech plays chafes me. 
 May I ask, an Black Jack stops wipin the bar an 
 turns on Peets plumb p lite, what your idee is in 
 thus shootin your way into a commercial affair in 
 which you has no interest ? 
 
 " This yere bibulous person is my patient/ says 
 Peets, a heap haughty. I preescribes no licker; 
 an them preescriptions is goin to be filled, you 
 bet ! if I has to fill em with a gun. Whatever 
 do you-all reckon a medical practitioner is? Do 
 you figger he s a Mexican, an that his diagnosises, 
 that a-way, don t go? I notifies you this mornin* 
 as I stands yere gettin my third drink, that if this 
 outcast comes trackin in with demands for nose- 
 paint, to remember he s sick an throw him out on 
 his head. An yere s how I m obeyed ! 
 
 "Which, of course, this explains things to Black 
 Jack, an he sees his inadvertences. He comes out 
 from behind the bar to where this sick maverick 
 
264 Wolfville Days. 
 
 has done fainted in the confoosion, an collars him 
 an* sets him on a cha r. 
 
 " Doc, says Black Jack, when he s got the 
 wilted gent planted firm an safe, I tenders my re 
 grets. Havin neither brands nor y earmarks to 
 guide by, I never recognizes this person as your 
 invalid at all ; none whatever. I d shore bent a gun 
 on him an harassed him back into his lair, as you 
 requests, if I suspects his identity. To show I m 
 on the squar , Doc, I ll do this party any voylence, 
 even at this late hour, which you think will make 
 amends. 
 
 " Your apol gy is accepted, says Peets, but still 
 haughty ; I descerns how you gets maladroit 
 through errors over which you has no control. As 
 to this person, who s so full of stealthy cunnin , he s 
 all right. So long as he don t get no licker, no voy 
 lence is called for in his case/ An with that Peets 
 conducts his patient, who s come to ag in, back to 
 his reservation. 
 
 " But I onbuckles this afternoon to tell you-all 
 about Old Man Enright s early love, an if I aims to 
 make the trip before the moon comes up, I better 
 hit the trail of them reminiscences an no further 
 delays. 
 
 " It s in the back room of the New York Store 
 where the casks be, an Enright, on whose nerves 
 an sperits Peets prescriptions of no licker has 
 been feedin for two full days, sits tharsort o fidgin 
 with his fingers an movin his feet in a way which 
 shows he s a heap on aige., Thar s a melancholy 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 265 
 
 settles on us all, as we camps round on crates an 1 
 shoe boxes an silently sympathizes with Enright to 
 see him so redooced. At last the grand old chief 
 starts in to talk without questions or requests. 
 
 " If you-all don t mind, says Enright, I ll let go 
 a handful of mem ries touchin my yooth. Thar s 
 nothin like maladies to make a gent sentimental, 
 onless it be gettin shot up or cut up with bullets or 
 bowies ; an these yere visitations, which Peets 
 thinks is alkali an I holds is the burdens of them 
 years of mine, shore leaves me plumb romantic. 
 
 " Which I ve been thinkin all day, between 
 times when I m thinkin of licker, of Polly Hawks ; 
 an I ll say right yere she s my first an only love. 
 She s a fine young female, is Polly tall as a saplin , 
 with a arm on her like a cant-hook. Polly can lift 
 an hang up a side of beef, an is as good as two 
 hands at a log-rollin . 
 
 " * This yere s back in old Tennessee on the banks 
 of the Cumberland. It s about six years followin 
 on the Mexican war, an I m shot up ards into the 
 semblances of a man. My affections for Polly has 
 their beginnin s in a coon-hunt into which b ars an* 
 dogs gets commingled in painful profoosion. 
 
 " * I ain t the wonder of a week with a rifle now, 
 since I m old an dim, but them times on the Cum 
 berland I has fame as sech. More n once, ag inst 
 the best there is in either the Cumberland or the 
 Tennessee bottoms, or on the ridge between, I ve 
 won as good as, say, first, second and fifth quarters 
 in a shoot for the beef. 
 
266 Wolfville Days, 
 
 " Whatever do you-all call a fifth quarter of 
 beef ? asks Dan Boggs. Four quarters is all I m 
 ever able to count to the anamile. 
 
 " It s yooth an inexperience/ says Enright, 
 * that prompts them queries. The fifth quarter is the 
 hide an tallow ; an also thar s a sixth quarter, the 
 same bein the bullets in the stump which makes 
 the target, an which is dug out a whole lot, lead 
 bein plenty infrequent in them days I m dreamin 
 of. 
 
 " * As I m sayin , when Dan lams loose them thick 
 head questions, I m a renowned shot, an my 
 weakness is huntin b ars. I finds em an kills em 
 that easy, I thinks thar s nothin in the world but 
 b ars. An when I ain t huntin b ars, I m layin for 
 deer; an when I ain t layin for deer, I m squaw- 
 kin turkeys; an when I ain t squawkin turkeys, 
 I m out nights with a passel of misfit dogs I harbors, 
 a shakin up the scenery for raccoons. Altogether, 
 I m some busy as you-all may well infer. 
 
 " * One night I m coon huntin . The dogs trees 
 over on Rapid Run. When I arrives, the whole 
 pack is cirkled round the base of a big beech, 
 singin ; my old Andrew Jackson dog leadin the 
 choir with the air, an my Thomas Benton dog 
 growlin bass, while the others warbles what parts 
 they will, indiscrim nate. 
 
 " Nacherally, the dogs can t climb the tree none, 
 an I has to make that play myse f. I lays down my 
 gun, an shucks my belts an knife, an goes swarmin 
 up the beech. It s shorely a teedious enterprise, 
 
Old Man Enrigiit s Love. 267 
 
 an some rough besides. That beech seems as full 
 of spikes an thorns as a honey locust its a sort o 
 porkypine of a tree. 
 
 " Which I works my lacerated way into the 
 lower branches, an then glances up ag in the firma 
 ments to locate the coon. He ain t vis ble none; 
 he s higher up an the leaves an bresh hides him. 
 I goes on till I m twenty foot from the ground ; 
 then I looks up ag in. 
 
 " Gents, it ain t no coon ; it s a b ar, black as paint 
 an as big as a baggage wagon. He ain t two foot 
 above me too ; an the sight of him, settin thar like a 
 black bale of cotton, an his nearness, an partic larly 
 a few terse remarks he lets drop, comes mighty 
 clost to astonishin me to death. I thinks of my 
 gun ; an then I lets go all holts to go an get it. 
 Shore, I falls outen the tree ; thar ain t no time to 
 descend slow an dignified. 
 
 " As I comes crashin along through them beech 
 boughs, it inculcates a misonderstandin among 
 the dogs. Andrew Jackson, Thomas Benton an 
 the others is convoked about that tree on a purely 
 coon theery. They expects me to knock the coon 
 down to em. They shorely do not expect me 
 to come tumblin* none myse f. It tharfore befalls 
 that when I makes my deboo among em, them 
 canines, blinded an besotted as I say with thoughts 
 of coon, prounces upon me in a body. Every 
 dog rends off a speciment of me. They don t bite 
 twice ; they perceives by the taste that it ain t no 
 coon an* desists. 
 
268 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " Which I don t reckon their worryin me would 
 have become a continyoous performance nohow ; 
 for me an* the dogs is hardly tangled up that a-way f 
 when we re interfered with by the b ar. Looks like 
 the example I sets is infectious ; for when I lets go, 
 the b ar lets go ; an I hardly hits the ground an* 
 becomes the ragin center of interest to Andrew 
 Jackson, Thomas Benton an them others, when the 
 b ar is down on all of us like the old Cumberland on 
 a sandbar doorin a spring rise. I shore regyards 
 his advent that a-way as the day of jedgment. 
 
 " No, we don t corral him. The b ar simply r ars 
 back long enough to put Andrew Jackson an 
 Thomas Benton into mournin , an then goes scut- 
 tlin off through the bushes like the grace of heaven 
 through a camp-meetin . As for myse f, I lays thar ; 
 an what between dog an b ar an the fall I gets, 
 I m as completely a thing of the past as ever finds 
 refooge in that strip of timber. As near as I makes 
 out by feelin of myse f, I ain t fit to make gourds 
 out of. Of course, she s a mistake on the part of 
 the dogs, an plumb accidental as far as the b ar s 
 concerned ; but it shore crumples me up as entirely 
 as if this yere outfit of anamiles plots the play for 
 a month. 
 
 " With the last flicker of my failin strength, I 
 crawls to my old gent s teepee an* is took in. An* 
 you shore should have heard the language of that 
 household when they sees the full an* awful extent 
 them dogs an that b ar lays me waste. Which I m 
 layed up eight weeks. 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 269 
 
 " My old gent goes grumblin off in the mornin , 
 an* rounds up old Aunt Tilly Hawks to nurse me. 
 Old Aunt Tilly lives over on the Painted Post, an 
 is plumb learned in yarbs an sech as Injun turnips, 
 opydeldock, live-forever, skoke-berry roots, jinson 
 an whitewood bark. An so they ropes up Aunt 
 Tilly Hawks an tells her to ride herd on my wounds 
 an dislocations. 
 
 " But I m plumb weak an* nervous an can t stand 
 Aunt Tilly none. She ain t got no upper teeth, 
 same as a cow, her face is wrinkled like a burnt boot, 
 an she dips snuff. Moreover, she gives me the 
 horrors by allers singin in a quaverin way : 
 
 " Hark from the tombs a doleful sound, 
 Mine y ears attend the cry. 
 Ye Hvin men come view the ground 
 Where you shall shortly lie. 
 
 " Aunt Tilly sounds a heap like a tea-kettle when 
 she s renderm this yere madrigal, an that, an the 
 words, an all the rest, makes me gloomy an 
 dejected. I m shore pinin away onder these yere 
 malign inflooences, when my old gent notes I ain t 
 recooperatin , an so he guesses the cause ; an* with 
 that he gives Aunt Tilly a lay-off, an tells her to 
 send along her niece Polly to take her place. 
 
 " * Thar s a encouragin difference. Polly is big 
 an strong like I states ; but her eyes is like stars, 
 an she s as full of sweetness as a bee tree or a bar l 
 of m lasses. So Polly camps down by my couch of 
 pain an begins dallyin* soothin ly with my heated 
 
*7o Wolfville Days. 
 
 brow. I commences recoverin from them attacks 
 of b ars an dogs instanter. 
 
 " * This yere Polly Hawks ain t none new to me. 
 I never co ts her; but I meets her frequent at barn 
 raisin s an* quiltin s, which allers winds up in a 
 dance ; an* in them games an merriments, sech as 
 " bowin* to the wittiest, kneelin to the prettiest, 
 an kissin the one you loves the best," I more than 
 once regyards Polly as an alloorin form of hooman 
 hollyhock, an* selects her. But thar s no flush of 
 burnin love ; nothin more than them amiable for 
 malities which befits the o casion. 
 
 " While this yere Polly is nursin me, however, 
 she takes on a different attitoode a whole lot. It 
 looks like I begins to need her permanent, an every 
 time I sets my eyes on her I feels as soft as b ar s 
 grease. It s shorely love ; that Polly Hawks is as 
 sweet an luscious as a roast apple/ 
 
 " Is she for troo so lovely ? asks Faro Nell, 
 who s been hangin onto Enright s words. 
 
 " Frankly, Nellie, says Enright, sort o pinchin 
 down his bluff ; now that I m ca mer an* my blood is 
 cool, this yere Polly don t seem so plumb prismatic. 
 Still, I must say, she s plenty radiant/ 
 
 " Does you-all, says Dan Boggs, put this yere 
 Polly in nom nation to be your wife while you re 
 quiled up sick ? 
 
 " * No, I defers them offers to moments when I m 
 more robust/ says Enright. 
 
 " You shore oughter rode at her while you re sick 
 that a-way, remonstrates Boggs. That s the time 
 
Old Man Enright s Love* 271 
 
 to set your stack down. Females is easy moved to 
 pity, an , as I ve heared for I ve nothin to go by, 
 personal, since I m never married an is never sick 
 none is a heap more prone to wed a gent who s 
 sick, than when he s well a lot. 
 
 " * I holds them doctrines myse f, observes 
 Enright ; however, I don t descend on Polly with 
 no prop sitions, neither then nor final, as you-all 
 shall hear, Dan, if you ll only hold yourse f down. 
 No, I continyoos on lovin Polly to myse f that 
 a-way, ontil I m able to go pokin about on crutches ; 
 an then, as thar s no more need of her ministra 
 tions, Polly lines out for old Aunt Tilly s cabin 
 ag in. 
 
 " It s at this yere juncture things happens which 
 sort o complicates them dreams of mine. While I 
 ain t been sayin nothin , an has been plumb reti 
 cent as to my feelin s, jest the same, by look or act, 
 or mebby it s a sigh, I tips off my hand. It ain t 
 no time before all the neighbors is aware of my love 
 for Polly Hawks. Also, this Polly has a lover who 
 it looks like has been co tin her, an bringin her 
 mink pelts an* wild turkeys indeescrim nate, for 
 months. I never do hear of this gent ontil I m 
 cripplin round on them stilts of crutches; an then 
 I ain t informed of him none only after he s informed 
 of me. 
 
 " Thar s a measley little limberjaw of a party 
 whose name is Ike Sparks; this Ike is allers runnin* 
 about tellin things an settin traps to capture 
 trouble for other folks. Ike is a ornery anamile 
 
272 Wolf vf lie Days* 
 
 little an furtif mean enough to suck aigs, an cun< 
 nin enough to hide the shells. He hates every- 
 body, this Ike does ; an* he s as suspicious as Bill 
 Johnson s dog, which last is that doubtful an sus 
 picious he shore walks sideways all his life for fear 
 someone s goin to kick him. This low-down Ike 
 imparts to Polly s other lover about the state of my 
 feelin s; an then it ain t no time when I gets notice 
 of this sport s existence. 
 
 " * It s in the licker room of the tavern at Pine 
 Knot, to which scenes I ve scrambled on them 
 crutches one evenin , where this party first meets 
 up with me in person. He s a big, tall citizen with 
 lanky, long ha r, an is dressed in a blanket huntin* 
 shirt an has a coon-skin cap with the tail hangin 
 over his left y ear. Also, he packs a Hawkins 
 rifle, bullets about forty to the pound. For my- 
 se f, I don t get entranced none with this person s 
 looks, an as I ain t fit, physical, for no skrimmage, 
 I has to sing plumb low. 
 
 " Thar s a band of us settin round when this 
 lover of Polly s shows in the door, drinkin an* 
 warblin that entertainin ditty, which goes: 
 
 " " Thar sits a dog, by a barn door, 
 An* Bingo is his name, O ! 
 An Bingo is his name." 
 
 " As Polly s other beau comes in, we ceases this 
 refrain. He pitches his rifle to the landlord over 
 the bar, an calls for a Baldface whiskey toddy. 
 He takes four or five drinks, contemplatin us mean- 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 273 
 
 while a heap disdainful. Then he arches his back, 
 bends his elbows, begins a war-song, an goes dancin 
 stiff-laig like a Injun, in front of the bar. This is 
 how this extravagant party sings. It s what Col 
 onel Sterett, yere, to whom I repeats it former, 
 calls " blanket verse." 
 
 " " Let all the sons of men b ar witness ! " sings 
 this gent, as he goes skatin stiff-laig about in a 
 ring like I relates, arms bent, an back arched ; " let 
 all the sons of men b ar witness ; an speshully let 
 a cowerin varmint, named Sam Enright, size me up 
 an shudder! I m the maker of deserts an the 
 wall-eyed harbinger of desolation ! I m kin to rat 
 tlesnakes on my mother s side ; I m king of all 
 the eagles an full brother to the b ars ! I m the 
 bloo-eyed lynx of Whiskey Crossin , an I weighs 
 four thousand pounds ! I m a he-steamboat ; I ve 
 put a crimp in a cat-a-mount with nothin but my 
 livin hands ! I broke a full-grown allagator across 
 my knee, tore him asunder an showered his shrink- 
 in fragments over a full section of land ! I hugged 
 a cinnamon b ar to death, an made a grizzly plead 
 for mercy ! Who ll come gouge with me ? Who ll 
 come bite with me ? Who ll come put his knuckles 
 in my back? I m Weasel-eye, the dead shot; I m 
 the blood-drinkin , skelp-t arin , knife-plyin demon 
 of Sunflower Creek ! The flash of my glance will 
 deaden a whiteoak, an my screech in anger will 
 back the panther plumb off his natif heath ! I m 
 a slayer an a slaughterer, an I cooks an eats my 
 dead ! I can wade the Cumberland without wettin 
 
274 Wolfville Days* 
 
 myse f, an I drinks outen the spring without touch* 
 in* the ground ! I m a swinge-cat ; but I warns you 
 not to be misled by my looks ! I m a flyin bison, 
 an deevastation rides upon my breath ! Whoop ! 
 whoop ! whoopee ! I m the Purple Blossom of 
 Gingham Mountain, an where is that son of thun 
 der who ll try an nip me in the bud ! Whoop ! 
 whoopee! I m yere to fight or drink with any 
 sport ; ary one or both ! Whoopee ! Where is 
 the stately stag to stamp his hoof or rap his antlers 
 to my proclamations ! Where is that boundin 
 buck ! Whoopee ! whoop ! whoop ! " 
 
 " Then this yere vociferous Purple Blossom 
 pauses for breath ; but keeps up his stilt-laig dance, 
 considerin me meanwhile with his eye, plenty bale 
 ful. We-all on our parts is viewin him over a heap 
 respectful, an ain t retortin a word. Then he be 
 gins ag in with a yelp that would stampede a field 
 of corn. 
 
 " " Who is thar lovelier than Polly Hawks ! " he 
 shouts. " Show me the female more entrancing an* 
 let me drop dead at her feet ! Who is lovelier 
 than Polly Hawks, the sweetheart of Flyin Bison, 
 the onchained tornado of the hills ! Feast your 
 gaze on Polly Hawks ; her beauty would melt the 
 heart of Nacher ! I m the Purple Blossom of Ging 
 ham Mountain ; Polly Hawks shall marry an follow 
 me to my wigwam ! Her bed shall be of b ar-skins ; 
 her food shall be yearlin venison, an wild honey 
 from the tree ! Her gown shall be panther s pelts 
 fringed round with wolf-tails an eagles claws] 
 
Old Man Ennght s Love* 275 
 
 She shall belt herse f with a rattlesnake, an her 
 Sunday bonnet shall be a swarm pi bees ! When I 
 kiss her it sounds like the crack of a whip, an I 
 wouldn t part with her for twenty cows ! We will 
 wed an pop late the earth with terror ! Where is 
 the sooicide who ll stand in my way? " 
 
 " * At this p int the Purple Blossom leaves off 
 dancin an fronts up to me, personal. 
 
 "* " Whoopee !" he says; " say that you don t 
 love the girl an I ll give you one hundred dollars 
 before I spills your life ! " 
 
 " Which, of course, all these yere moosical an 
 terpshicoreen preeliminaries means simply so much 
 war between me an this sperited beau of Polly s, to 
 see who ll own the lady s heart. I explains that 
 I m not jest then fit for combat, sufferin as I be 
 from that overabundance of dog an b ar. The Pur 
 ple Blossom is plumb p lite, an says he don t hun 
 ger to whip no cripples. Then he names a day two 
 months away when he allows he ll shore descend 
 from Gingham Mountain, melt me down an run 
 me into candles to burn at the weddin of him an 
 Polly Hawks. Then we drinks together, all frater 
 nal, an he gives me a chew of tobacco outen a box 
 made of the head of a bald eagle, in token of amity, 
 that a-way. 
 
 " * But that rumpus between the Purple Blossom 
 an me never does come off ; an them rites over 
 me an Polly is indef nitely postponed. The fact 
 is, I has to leave a lot. I starts out to commit a 
 joke, an it turns out a crime ; an so I goes streak- 
 
276 Wolfville Days. 
 
 in it from the scenes of my yoothful frolics for 
 safer stampin* grounds. 
 
 " It s mebby six weeks followin them declara 
 tions of the Purple Blossom. It s co t day at War- 
 whoop Crossin , an the Jedge an every law-sharp 
 on that circuit comes trailin into camp. This yere 
 outfit of Warwhoop is speshul fretful ag inst all 
 forms of gamblin . Wherefore the Jedge, an the 
 state s attorney, an mebby five other speculators, 
 at night adjourns to the cabin of a flat-boat which 
 is tied up at the foot of the levee, so s they can di 
 vert themse fs with a little draw-poker without 
 shockin the hamlet an gettin themse fs arrested 
 an fined some. 
 
 " * It s gone to about fourth drink time after sup 
 per, an I m romancin about, tryin to figger out 
 how I m to win Polly, when as I m waltzin along 
 the levee I m plumb alone, an the town itse f has 
 turned into its blankets I gets sight of this yere 
 poker festival ragin in the cabin. Thar they be, 
 antein , goin it blind, straddlin , raisin before the 
 draw, bluffin , an bettin , an* havin the time of 
 their c reers. 
 
 " It s the spring flood, an the old Cumber 
 land is bank-full an* still a-risin . The flat boat is 
 softly raisin an* fallin on the sobbin tide. It s 
 then them jocular impulses seizes me, that a-way, 
 an I stoops an casts off her one line, an that flat 
 boat swims silently away on the bosom of the river. 
 The sports inside knows nothin* an guesses less, 
 an their gayety swells on without a hitch. 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 277 
 
 " It s three o clock an Jedge Finn, who s won 
 about a hundred an sixty dollars, realizes it s all 
 the money in the outfit, an gets cold feet plenty 
 prompt. He murmurs somethin about tellin the 
 old lady Finn he d be in early, an shoves back 
 amidst the scoffs an jeers of the losers. But the 
 good old Jedge don t mind, an openin the door, 
 he goes out into the night an the dark, an care 
 fully picks his way overboard into forty foot of 
 water. The yell the Jedge emits as he makes his 
 little hole in the Cumberland is the first news them 
 kyard sharps gets that they re afloat a whole lot. 
 
 " It ain t no push-over rescooin Jedge Finn 
 that time. The one hundred an sixty is in Mexi 
 can money, an he s got a pound or two of it sink- 
 ered about his old frame in every pocket ; so he 
 goes to the bottom like a kag of nails. 
 
 " * But they works hard, an at last fishes him out, 
 an rolls him over a bar l to get the water an the 
 money outen him. Which onder sech treatment, 
 the Jedge disgorges both, an at last comes to a 
 trifle an is fed whiskey with a spoon. 
 
 " Havin saved the Jedge, the others turns loose 
 a volley of yells that shorely scares up them echoes 
 far an wide. It wakes up a little old tug that s 
 tied in Dead Nigger Bend, an she fires up an* 
 pushes forth to their relief. The tug hauls em 
 back to Warwhoop for seventy dollars, which is 
 paid out of the rescooed treasure of Jedge Finn, 
 the same bein declar d salvage by them bandits 
 he s been playin with. 
 
278 Wolfville Days. 
 
 " It s two o clock in the afternoon when that 
 band of gamblers pulls up ag in at Warwhoop, an 
 they re shorely a saddened party as they files 
 ashore. The village is thar in a frownin an resent 
 ful body to arrest em for them voylations, which is 
 accordin* done. 
 
 " At the same time, I regyards the play as the 
 funniest, ondoubted, that s ever been evolved in Ten 
 nessee ; but my mood changes as subsequent events 
 assoomes a somber face. Old Jedge Finn goes 
 fumin about like a wronged lion, an the rest is as 
 hot as election day in a hornet s nest. Pards, I m 
 a Mexican ! if they don t indict me for piracy on 
 the high seas, an pledge their words to see me 
 hanged before ever co t adjourns. 
 
 " That lets me out, right thar! I sees the 
 symptoms of my onpop larity in advance, an 
 don t procrastinate none. I goes sailin over the 
 divide to the Tennessee, down the Tennessee to 
 the Ohio, down the Ohio to the Mississippi, down 
 the Mississippi to the Arkansaw, up the Arkansaw 
 to Little Rock ; an thar I pauses, exhausted shore, 
 but safe as a murderer in Georgia. Which I never 
 does go back for plumb ten years. 
 
 " Nacherally, because of this yere exodus, I 
 misses my engagements with the Purple Blossom ; 
 also them nuptials I plots about Polly Hawks, 
 suffers the kybosh a whole lot. However, I 
 survives, an Polly survives ; she an the Purple 
 Blossom hooks up a month later, an I learns since 
 they shore has offsprings enough to pack a primary 
 
Old Man Enright s Love. 279 
 
 or start a public school. It s all over long ago, 
 an I m glad the kyards falls as they do. Still, 
 as I intimates, thar s them moments of romance to 
 ride me down, when I remembers my one lone love 
 affair with Polly Hawks, the beauty of the Painted 
 Post. 
 
 " Enright pauses, an we-all sets still a moment 
 out of respects to the old chief. At last Dan 
 Boggs, who s always bubblin* that a-way, speaks 
 up: 
 
 "* Which I m shore sorry/ says Dan, you don t 
 fetch the moosic of that Purple Blossom s war- 
 song West. I deems that a mighty excellent lay, 
 an would admire to learn it an sing it some myse f. 
 I d shore go over an carol it to Red Dog; it would 
 redooce them drunkards to frenzy. " 
 
CHAPTER XVIIL 
 When Whiskey Billy Died* 
 
 " LIES in the lump that a-way," said the Old 
 Cattleman, apropos of some slight discussion in 
 which we were engaged, " is bad an make no 
 doubt about it ! that is, lies which is told malev - 
 lent. 
 
 " But thar s a sort of ranikaboo liar on earth, 
 an I don t mind him nor his fabrications, none 
 whatever. He s one of these yere amiable gents 
 who s merely aimin to entertain you an* elevate 
 your moods ; an carryin out sech plans, he sort o 
 spreads himse f, an gets excursive in conversation, 
 castin loose from facts as vain things onworthy of 
 him. Thar used to be jest sech a mendacious party 
 who camps round Wolfville for a while if I don t 
 misrecollect, he gets plugged standin* up a through 
 stage, final who is wont to lie that a-way ; we 
 calls him Lyin Amos. But they re only meant 
 to entertain you ; them stories be. Amos is never 
 really out to put you on a wrong trail to your 
 ondoin . 
 
 " We-all likes Amos excellent ; but, of course, 
 when he takes to the hills as a hold-up, somebody 
 has to down him ; an my mem ry on that p int is, 
 
When Whiskey Billy Died. 281 
 
 they shorely do. What for lies would this yere 
 Amos tell ? Well, for instance, Amos once regales 
 me with a vivid picture of how he backs into a 
 corner an pulls his lonely gun on twenty gents, all 
 bad. This yere is over in Deming. An he goes 
 on dilatin to the effect that he stops six of em for 
 good with the six loads in his weepon, an* then 
 makes it a stand-off on the remainin fourteen with 
 the empty gun. 
 
 " * It is the slumberin terrors of my eye, I 
 reckons, says this Lyin Amos. 
 
 " Which it s reason, an likewise fact, that sech 
 tales is merest figments on their faces ; to say 
 nothin of the hist ry of that camp of Deming, 
 which don t speak of no sech blood. 
 
 " But, as I says, what of it ? Pore Lyin Amos ! 
 he s cashed in an settled long ago, like I 
 mentions, goin for the Wells-Fargo boxes onct 
 too frequent ! Which the pitcher goes too often 
 to the well, that a-way, an* Amos finds it out ! 
 Still, Amos is only out to entertain me when he 
 onfurls how lucky an how ferocious he is that 
 time at Deming. Amos is simply whilin the hours 
 away when he concocts them romances ; an so far 
 from bein distrustful of him on account tharof, 
 or holdin of him low because he lets his fancy 
 stampede an get away with him, once we saveys 
 his little game in all its harmlessness, it makes 
 Amos pop lar. We encourages Amos in them 
 expansions. 
 
 " Speakin of lyin , an bein we re on the subject, 
 
282 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 it ain t too much to state that thar s plenty 
 o casions when lyin is not only proper but good. 
 It s the thing to do. 
 
 " Comin to cases, the world s been forever basin* 
 its game on the lies that s told ; an I reckons now 
 if every gent was to turn in an tell nothin but 
 the trooth for the next few hours, thar would be a 
 heap of folks some hard to find at the close of them 
 mootual confidences. Which places now flourishin 
 like a green bay-tree would be deserted wastes an 
 solitoodes. Yes, as I says, now I gets plumb 
 cog tative about it, sech attempts to put down 
 fiction might result in onpreecedented disaster. 
 Thar be times when trooth should shorely have a 
 copper on it ; but we lets that pass as spec lative. 
 
 "As my mind is led back along the trail, thar 
 looms before the mirror of mem ry a hour when the 
 whole Wolfville outfit quits every other game to 
 turn itse f loose an lie. Which for once we takes 
 the limit off. Not only do we talk lies, we acts 
 em ; an Enright an* Doc Peets an Texas Thomp 
 son, as well as Moore an Tutt an Boggs, to say 
 nothin of myse f an Cherokee Hall, an the rest of 
 the round-up, gets in on the play. Which every 
 gent stands pat on them inventions to this yere 
 day, disdainin excooses an declinin forgiveness 
 tharfor. Moreover, we plays the same system 
 ag in, layout an deal box bein sim lar. The fact is, 
 if ever a outfit s hand gets crowded, it s ours. 
 
 " The demands for these yere falsehoods has its 
 first seeds one even in when a drunken party comes 
 
When Whiskey Billy Died. 283 
 
 staggerin into camp from Red Dog. It s strange ; 
 but it looks like Wolfville has a fasc nation for 
 them Red Dog sots ; which they re allers comin 
 over. This victim of alcohol is not a stranger to 
 us, not by no means ; though mostly he holds his 
 revels in his Red Dog home. His name I disre-i 
 members, but he goes when he s in Wolfville by the 
 name of Whiskey Billy. If he has a last name, 
 which it s likely some he has, either we never hears 
 it or it don t abide with us. Mebby he never de- 
 clar s himse f. Anyhow, when he gets his nose- 
 paint an wearies folks in Wolfville, sech proceeding 
 is had onder the nom de ploome of * Whiskey Billy/ 
 with nothin added by way of further brands or 
 y ear-marks tharonto. 
 
 " This partic lar date when he onloads on us his 
 companionship, Whiskey Billy is shore the drunk 
 est an most ediotic I ever sees. Troo, he saveys 
 enough to pull his freight from Red Dog ; but I 
 allers allows that s merely the work of a loocid 
 interval. 
 
 " Whiskey Billy ain t brightened Wolfville with 
 his society more n an hour he only gets one drink 
 with us when he lapses into them treemors. An , 
 you hear me, son, he shorely has em bad ; Hug- 
 gins attacks that a-way is pooerile to em. 
 
 " It looks like that Red Dog whiskey is speshul 
 malignant. I ve beheld gents who has visions be 
 fore ever Whiskey Billy emits that preelim nary yelp 
 in the Red Light, an allows that Black Jack is 
 pawin round to skelp him ; but I m yere to remark, 
 
284 Wolfville Days. 
 
 an ready to enforce my statements with money, 
 argyments or guns, I never witnesses no case which 
 is a four-spot to Whiskey Billy s. 
 
 " Why, it gets so before he quits out which he 
 does after frothin at the mouth for days, an Boggs, 
 an Tutt, an Jack Moore, with Doc Peets sooper- 
 visin , ridin herd onto him an holdin him down in 
 his blankets all the time that if Whiskey Billy 
 goes to take a drink of water, he thinks the bever 
 age turns to blood. If he sees anythin to eat, it 
 changes into a Gila monster, or some sech creepin 
 an* disrepootable reptile ; an Billy jest simply r ars 
 back an yells. 
 
 " As I intimates, he yields to them errors touchin 
 his grub an drink for days; followin which, Billy 
 nacherally gives way to death, to the relief of all 
 concerned. 
 
 " You can gamble I m never so pleased to see a 
 gent die in my life ! says Dan Boggs. 
 
 "It s most likely the second day after Billy s 
 been seein things, an we ve corraled him in a 
 wickeyup out back of the dance hall, when Doc 
 Peets is in the Red Light thoughtfully absorbin 
 his whiskey. 
 
 " This yere riotous patient of mine, says Peets, 
 as he leans on the bar an talks general an free to 
 all, * this noisy party whom you now hears callin 
 Dan Boggs a rattlesnake, bein misled to that ex 
 tent by Red Dog licker, has a ca m moment about 
 first drink time this mornin , an beseeches me 
 to send for his mother. As a sick gent has a 
 
When Whiskey Billy Died* 285 
 
 right to dictate terms that a-way, I dispatches a 
 telegram to the lady he names, sendin of the same 
 by Old Monte to be slammed through from Tucson. 
 I reckons she gets it by now. Old Monte an the 
 stage has been in Tucson for more n an hour, an as 
 lectricity is plenty sudden as a means, I takes it 
 Whiskey Billy s mother is informed that he s askin 
 for her presence/ 
 
 " Which if he s callin an honin for his mother/ 
 says Texas Thompson, who s at the bar with Peets, 
 it s cattle to sheep he s a goner. You can allers 
 tell when a sport is down to his last chip ; he never 
 omits to want to see his mother. 
 
 " That s whatever ! says Enright. Like Texas, 
 I holds sech desires on the part of this yere Red 
 Dog martyr as markin the beginnin of the end. 
 
 " Bein he s plumb locoed, remarks Peets, after 
 Texas an Enright expresses themse fs, I takes the 
 liberty to rustle them clothes of Billy s for signs. 
 I developed letters from this near relatif he s 
 clamorin for ; also a picture as shows she s as fine 
 a old lady as ever makes a flapjack. From the 
 way she writes, it s all plain an easy he s been 
 sendin her some rainbows about how he s loomin 
 up, like Slim Jim does his sister that a-way. He s jest 
 now industriously trackin round, lookin to locate 
 himse f as a lawyer. I don t reckon this yere 
 mother has the slightest idee he s nothin more n a 
 ragged, busted victim of Red Dog. Lookin at it 
 that a-way, concloodcs Peets, * I m wonderin 
 whether I don t make a crazy-hoss play sendin this 
 lady them summons. 
 
286 Wolfvillc Days. 
 
 " When she gets here, if she comes, says 
 Enright, an his voice shows a heap of sympathetic 
 interest ; when she finds out about Whiskey 
 Billy, it s goin* to break her heart. That she ain t 
 game to make the trip is shorely to be hoped. 
 
 " * You can gamble a pony she comes, says 
 Texas. * If it s a wife, now, like mine which goes 
 ropin round for a divorce over in Laredo recent; 
 an , as you-all is aware, she shorely ties it down 
 thar might be a chance out ag in her advent. But 
 bein she s his mother, Wolfville may as well brace 
 itse f for the shock. 
 
 " I don t reckon thar s no doubt of it, neither, 
 replies Enright, drawin a sigh ; which bein the 
 case, we ve got to organize. This camp must turn 
 in when she gets here an deloode that pore old 
 mother into the belief that her son Billy s been the 
 prop an stay of Arizona, an* that his ontimely 
 cuttin off quenches the most shinin light that 
 a-way of the age wherein we lives. 
 
 " Mighty likely, says Peets, we gets a message 
 from her to-morry, when Old Monte trails in. 
 That ll tell us what to expect. I m like you-all, 
 however; I don t allow thar s a morsel of doubt 
 about that mother comin . 
 
 " Which I shorely hopes she does/ says Texas 
 an I yereby drinks to it, an urges every gent 
 likewise. If thar s a thing on earth that melts me, 
 it s one o them gray-ha red old ladies. Young 
 females that a-way is all right, an* it s plenty nache- 
 ral for agent to be cur ous an pleased tharwith ; 
 
When Whiskey Billy Died. 287 
 
 but I never does track up with an old lady, white- 
 ha red an motherly mind you, but I takes off my 
 sombrero an says : " You ll excuse me, marm, but I 
 wants to trespass on your time long enough to ask 
 your pardon for livin ." That s right ; that s the 
 way I feels ; plumb religious at the mere sight of 
 em. If I was to meet as many as two of em at 
 onct, I d j ine the church. The same bein troo, I m 
 sayin that this yere Whiskey Billy s mother cant 
 strike camp too soon nor stop too long for Texas 
 Thompson. 
 
 " * Every gent I reckons feels all sim lar/ says 
 Cherokee Hall. A old lady is the one splendid 
 thing the Lord ever makes. I knows a gent over 
 back of Prescott, an the sight of a good old woman 
 would stop his nose-paint for a week. Wouldn t 
 drink a drop nor play a kyard, this party wouldn t, 
 for a week after he cuts the trail of somebody s old 
 mother. He allows it revives mem ries of his own, 
 an that he ain t out to mix no sech visions with 
 faro-bank an whiskey bottles. 
 
 " An I applauds this yere Prescott person s 
 views, says Texas Thompson, * an would be proud 
 to know the gent. 
 
 " How long, Peets, says Enright, who s been 
 thinkin hard an serious, how long an start at 
 onct before ever this yere Whiskey Billy s parent 
 is goin to strike the camp ? 
 
 " It ll be five days shore, answers Peets. 
 She s way back yonder the other side of the 
 Missouri. 
 
288 Wolfville Days, 
 
 " When Old Monte comes rumblin along in next 
 day, thar s the message from Whiskey Billy s 
 mother. She s shore a-comin . This yere Billy is 
 so plumb in the air, mental, he never does know 
 it, an he dies ten hours before the old lady drives 
 in. But Wolfville s ready. That s the time when 
 the whole band simply suspends everythin to lie. 
 
 " Whiskey Billy is arrayed in Doc Peets best 
 raiment, so, as Peets says, he looks professional like 
 a law sharp should. An bein as we devotes to 
 Billy all the water the windmill can draw in a 
 hour, he is a pattern of personal neatness that 
 a- way. 
 
 " Enright an thar never is the gent who gets 
 ahead of that old silver tip takin the word from 
 Peets in advance, sends over to Tucson for a coffin 
 as fine as the dance-hall piano, an it comes along 
 in the stage ahead of Billy s mother. When she 
 does get thar, Billy s all laid out handsome an 
 tranquil in the dinin -room of the O. K. Restauraw, 
 an the rest of us is eatin supper in the street. It 
 looks selfish to go crowdin a he pless remainder 
 that a-way, an him gettin ready to quit the earth 
 for good ; so the dinin -room bein small, an the 
 coffin needin the space, the rest of us vamoses into 
 the causeway, an Missis Rucker is dealin us our 
 chuck when the stage arrives. 
 
 "Thar s a adjournment prompt, however, an* we- 
 all goes over to cheer up Whiskey Billy s mother 
 when she gets out. Enright leads off, an the rest 
 trails in an follows his play, shakin the old lady s 
 
When Whiskey Billy Died. 289 
 
 hand an givin her the word what a success her 
 boy is while he lives, an what a blow it is when he 
 peters. It comes plumb easy, that mendacity does, 
 for, as Texas Thompson surmises, she is shorely the 
 beautifulest old lady I ever sees put a handker 
 chief to her eyes. 
 
 " * Don t weep, marm, says Enright. This yere 
 camp of Wolfville, knowin* Willyum an his vir- 
 choos well, by feelin its own onmeasured loss, puts 
 no bound ries on its sympathy for you. 
 
 " 4 Death loves a shinin mark, marm, says Doc 
 Peets, as he presses the old lady s hand an takes 
 off his hat, an the same bein troo, it s no marvel 
 the destroyer experiments round ontil he gets 
 your son Willyum s range. We re like brothers, 
 Willyum an me, an from a close, admirin friend 
 ship which extends over the year an a half since 
 he leaves you in the States, I m shore qualified to 
 state how Willyum is the brightest, bravest gent in 
 Arizona. 
 
 " An* do you know, son, this yere, which seems a 
 mockery while I repeats it now, is like the real 
 thing at the time ! I m a coyote ! if it don t affect 
 Texas Thompson so he sheds tears ; an Dan Boggs 
 an Tutt an Moore an Cherokee Hall is lookin far 
 from bright about the eyes themse fs. 
 
 " We-all goes over to the O. K. House, followin 
 the comin of the stage, an leads the old gray 
 mother in to the side of her son, an leaves her thar. 
 Enright tells her, as we turns cat-foot to trail out 
 so she won t be pestered by the presence of us, as 
 
290 "Wolfville Days* 
 
 how Peets ll come back in a hour to see her, an 
 that as all of us ll be jest across the street, it ll be 
 plenty easy to fetch us if she feels like company. 
 As we starts for the Red Light to get somethin to 
 cheer us up, I sees her where she s settin with her 
 arm an face on the coffin. 
 
 " It s great work, though, them lies we tells ; an* 
 I notes how the mother s pride over what a good 
 an* risin sport her son has been, half-way breaks 
 even with her grief. 
 
 " Thar is only one thing which happens to dis 
 turb an mar the hour, an not a whisper of this ever 
 drifts to Whiskey Billy s mother. She s busy with 
 her sorrow where we leaves her, an she never hears 
 a sound but her own sobs. It s while we re waitin , 
 all quiet an pensif, camped about the Red Light. 
 Another outlaw from Red Dog comes cavortin in. 
 Of course, he is ignorant of our bein bereaved that 
 a-way, but he d no need to be. 
 
 " Whatever s the matter with you-all wolves 
 yere ? he demands, as he comes bulgin along into 
 the Red Light. Where s all your howls ? 
 
 " Texas arises from where he s settin with his 
 face in his hands, an wipin the emotion outen his 
 eyes, softly an reverentially beats his gun over this 
 yere party s head ; whereupon he c llapses into the 
 corner till called for. Then we-all sets down silent 
 an sympathetic ag in. 
 
 " It s the next day when Whiskey Billy takes his 
 last ride over to Tucson on a buckboard. A dozen 
 of us goes along, makin good them bluffs about 
 
When Whiskey Billy Died. 291 
 
 Billy s worth ; Enright an Peets is in the stage 
 with the old mother, an the rest of us on our 
 ponies as a bodygyard of honor. 
 
 " An it is well, marm, says Enright, as we-all 
 shakes hands, as Billy an his mother is about to 
 leave Tucson, an we stands b ar-headed to say 
 adios ; an death quits loser half its gloom when 
 one reflects that while Willyum dies, he leaves the 
 world an all of us better for them examples he ex 
 erts among us. Willyum may die, but his mem ry 
 will live long to lead an guide us. 
 
 " I could see the old mother s eyes shine with pride 
 through her tears when Enright says this ; an as 
 she comes round an shakes an thanks us all 
 speshul, I m shorely proud of Wolfville s chief. So 
 is everybody, I reckons ; for when we re about a 
 mile out on the trail back, an all ridin silent an* 
 quiet, Texas ups an shakes Enright by the hand 
 a heap sudden, an says : 
 
 " Sam Enright, I ain t reported as none emo 
 tional, but I m yours to command from now till 
 death, an yere s the hand an word of Texas 
 Thompson on it. " 
 
CHAPTER XIX* 
 When the Stage Was Stopped. 
 
 " CAMP down into that cha r thar, son," said the 
 Old Cattleman with much heartiness. " Which 
 I m waitin for that black boy Tom to come back ; 
 I sends him for my war-bags. No, I don t need em 
 none, only I ve got to give this yere imbecile Tom 
 money. Them Senegambians is shore a pecooliar 
 people. They gets a new religion same as you-all 
 gets a new hat, an they changes their names like 
 some folks does their shirt. Which they re that 
 loose an liable about churches an cognomens! 
 
 " As for money, take this boy Tom. He actoo- 
 ally transacts his life on the theery that he has 
 prior claims on every splinter of my bank-roll. 
 Jest now he descends onto me an e labe rately states 
 his title to ten pesos. Says he s done j ined a new 
 church, an* has been made round-up boss or some- 
 thin to a outfit called, The Afro-American 
 Widows Ready Relief Society, an that his doos is 
 ten chips. Of course, he has to have the dinero, so 
 I dismisses him for my wallet like I says. 
 
 "Does them folks change their names? They 
 changes em as read ly as a Injun breaks camp ; does 
 it at the drop of the hat. This yere Guinea of 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped* 293 
 
 mine, his name s Tom. Yet at var ous times, lie 
 informs me of them mootations he s institooted, 
 He s been Jim an Sam an * Willyum Henry, 
 an all in two months. Shore, I don t pay no heed 
 to sech vagaries, but goes on callin him Tom/ jest 
 the same. An he keeps comin when I calls, too, 
 or I d shore burn the ground round him to a cinder. 
 I d be a disgrace to old Tennessee to let my boy 
 Tom go preescribin what I m to call him. But 
 they be cur ous folks ! The last time this hirelin 
 changes his name, I asks the reason. 
 
 " * Tom, I says, this yere is the leventh time 
 you cinches on a new name. Now, tell me, why be 
 you-all attemptin to shift to "Willyum Henry?" 
 
 " 4 Why, Marse, he says, after thinkin hard a 
 whole lot, * I don t know, only my sister gets mar 
 ried ag in last night, an I can t think of nothin else 
 to do, so I sort o allows I ll change my name. 
 
 A moment later the exuberant and many-titled 
 Tom appeared with the pocket-book. My old 
 friend selected a ten-dollar bill and with an air of 
 severity gave it to his expectant servitor. 
 
 " Thar you be," he observed. " Now, go pay 
 them doos, an don t hanker round me for money 
 no more for a month. You can t win from me ag in 
 before Christmas, no matter how often you changes 
 your name, or how many new churches you plays 
 in with. For a nigger, you-all is a mighty sight too 
 vol tile. Your sperits is too tireless, an stays too 
 long on the wing. Which, onless you cultivates a 
 placider mood an studies reepose a whole lot, I ll 
 
294 Wolfville Days* 
 
 go foragin about in my plunder an search forth a 
 quirt, or mebby some sech stingin trifle as a trace- 
 chain, an warp you into quietood an peace. I 
 reckons now sech ceremonies would go some ways 
 towards beddin you down an inculcatin lessons of 
 patience a heap." 
 
 The undaunted Tom listened to his master s 
 gloomy threats with an air of cheer. There was a 
 happy grin on his face as he accepted the money 
 and scraped a " Thanky, sah !" To leave a religious 
 impression which seemed most consistent with the 
 basis of Tom s appeal, that dusky claimant of ten 
 dollars, as he withdrew, hummed softly a camp- 
 meeting song: 
 
 " Tu n around an tu n yo face, 
 
 Untoe them sweet hills o grace. 
 
 (D f pow rs of Sin yo ?m scornin !) 
 
 Look about an look a oun , 
 
 Fling yo sin-pack on d groun . 
 
 (Yo will meet wid d Lord in d mornin .)" 
 " Speakin about this yere vacillatin Tom," said 
 the old gentleman, as he watched that person dis 
 appear, " shiftin his religious grazin ground that 
 a-way, let me tell you. Them colored folks pulls on 
 an pulls off their beliefs as easy as a Mexican. An 
 their faith never gets in their way ; them tenets 
 never seems to get between their hocks an trip em 
 up in anythin they wants to do. They goes rangin 
 round, draggin them religious lariats of theirs, an* 
 I never yet beholds that church which can drive 
 any picket pin of doctrines, or prodooce any hobbles 
 of a creed, that ll hold a Mexican or a nigger, or 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped. 295 
 
 keep him from prancin* out after the first notion 
 that nods or beckons to him. Thar s no whim an 
 no fancy which can make so light a wagon-track he 
 won t follow it off. 
 
 " Speakin of churches that a-way : This yere 
 Tom s been with me years. One day about two 
 months ago, he fronts up to me an says : 
 
 " I se got to be mighty careful what I does now ; 
 I se done j ined. I gives my soul to heaven on high 
 last night, an wrops myse f tight an fast in bonds 
 of savin grace wid d* Presbyter an chu ch. Yes, 
 sah, I m a Christian, an I don t want no one, 
 incloodin myse f, to go forgettin it. 
 
 " This yere news don t weigh on me partic lar, an* 
 I makes no comments. It s three weeks later when 
 Tom cuts loose another commoonication. 
 
 " * You rec llects, he says, about me bein a j iner 
 an hookin up wid d Presbyter ans ? Well, I se 
 done shook em ; I quit that sanchooary for d Mefo- 
 dis. D Presbyter an is a heap too gloomy a religion 
 for a niggah, sah. Dey lams loose at me wid 
 foreord nation an preedest nation, an how d bad 
 place is paved wid chil ens skulls, an how so many 
 is called, an only one in a billion beats d gate ; 
 an fin lly, las Sunday, B rer Peters, he s d preacher, 
 he ups an p ints at me in speshul an says he sees 
 in a dream how I m h ar-hung an breeze-shaken 
 over hell ; an , sah, he simply scare dis niggah to 
 where I jest lay down in d pew an* howl. After 
 I se done lamented till my heart s broke, I passes in 
 my resignation, an now I se gone an done attach 
 
296 Wolfville Days* 
 
 myse f to d Mefodis . Thar s a deal mo sunshine 
 among d Mefodis folks, an d game s a mighty sight 
 easier. All you does is get sprunkled, an thar you 
 be, in wid d sheep, kerzip ! 
 
 " In less n a month Tom opens up on them 
 religious topics once more. I allers allows him to 
 talk as long an as much as ever he likes, as you-all 
 couldn t stop him none without buckin an gaggin* 
 him, so what s the use ? 
 
 " * I aims to excuse myse f to you, sah, says Tom 
 this last time, for them misstatements about me 
 leavin d Presbyter ans for d Mefodis. I does do it 
 for troo, but now I se gone over, wool an weskit, to 
 d Baptis . An , sah, I feels mighty penitent an 
 promisin , I does ; I m gwine to make a stick of it 
 dis time. It s resky to go changin about from 
 one fold to the other like I se been doin ; a man 
 might die between, an then where is he ? 
 
 " But how about this swap to the Baptist church ? 
 I asks. I thought you tells me how the Methodist 
 religion is full of sunshine that a-way. 
 
 " So I does, sah, says Tom; so I does, word 
 for word, like you remembers it. But I don t know 
 d entire story then. The objections I has to d 
 Mefodis is them sperience meetin s they holds. 
 They spects you to stan up an tell em about ail 
 yo sins, an fess all you ve been guilty of endoorin* 
 yo life ! Now, sech doin s tu ns out mighty 
 embarrassin for a boy like Tom, who s been a-livin* 
 sort o loose an lively for a likely numbah of years, 
 sah, an I couldn t stan it, sah ! I m too modes to 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped* 297 
 
 be a Mefodis . So I explains an pologizes to d 
 elders ; then I shins out for d Baptis folks next 
 door. An it s all right. I m at peace now : I m in 
 d Baptis chu ch, sah. You go inter d watah, ker- 
 sause ! an that sets yo safe in d love of d 
 Lamb. " 
 
 Following these revelations of my friend concern 
 ing the jaunty fashion in which the " boy Tom " 
 wore his religion as well as his name, I maintained 
 a respectful silence for perhaps a minute, and then 
 ventured to seek a new subject. I had been going 
 over the vigorous details of a Western robbery in 
 the papers. After briefly telling the story as I 
 remembered it, in its broader lines at least, I carried 
 my curiosity to that interesting body politic, the 
 town of Wolfville. 
 
 " In the old days," I asked, " did Wolfville ever 
 suffer from stage robberies, or the operations of 
 banditti of the trail ? " 
 
 " Wolfville," responded my friend, " goes ag inst 
 the hold-up game so often we lose the count. Mostly, 
 it don t cause more n a passin irr tation. Them 
 robberies an rustlin s don t, speakin general, mean 
 much to the public at large. The express company 
 may gnash its teeth some, but comin down to 
 cases, what is a Wells-Fargo grief to us? Personal, 
 we re out letters an missifs from home, an I ve 
 beheld individooals who gets that heated about it 
 you don t dar ask em to libate ontil they cools; 
 but as a common thing, we-all don t suffer no practi 
 cal set-backs. We re shy letters ; but sech wounds 
 
298 Wolfville Days* 
 
 is healed by time an other mails to come. We gains 
 what comfort we can from sw arin a lot, an turns 
 to the hopeful footure for the rest. Thar s one time, 
 however, when Wolfville gets wrought up. 
 
 "Which the Wolfville temper, usual, is ca m an 
 onperturbed that a-way. Thar s a steadiness to 
 Wolfville that shows the camp has depth ; it can 
 lose without thinkin of sooicide, it can win an not 
 get drunk. The Wolfville emotions sets squar an 
 steady in the saddle, an it takes more than mere 
 commonplace buckin to so much as throw its foot 
 loose from a stirrup, let alone send it flyin from its 
 seat. 
 
 " On this yere o casion, however, Wolfville gets 
 stirred a whole lot. For that matter, the balance of 
 Southeast Arizona gives way likewise, an excite 
 ment is gen ral an shorely mounts plumb high. I 
 remembers plain, now my mind is on them topics, 
 how Red Dog goes hysterical complete, an sets up 
 nights an screams. Which the vocal carryin s on 
 of that prideless village is a shame to coyotes ! 
 
 " It s hold-ups that so wrings the public s feelin s. 
 Stages is stood up ; passengers, mail-bags an ex 
 press boxes gets cleaned out for their last splinter. 
 An it ain t confined to jest one trail. This festival 
 of crime incloodes a whole region ; an twenty stages, 
 in as many different places an almost as many 
 days, yields up to these yere bandits. Old Moiate, 
 looks like, is a speshul fav rite ; they goes through 
 that old drunkard twice for all thar is in the vehicle. 
 The last time the gyard gets downed. 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped* 299 
 
 " No ; the stage driver ain t in no peril of bein 
 plugged. Thar s rooles about stage robbin , same 
 as thar is to faro-bank an poker. It s onderstood 
 by all who s interested, from the manager of the 
 stage company to the gent in the mask who s hold- 
 in the Winchester on the outfit, that the driver 
 don t fight. He s thar to drive, not shoot ; an so 
 when he hears the su gestion, * Hands up ! that 
 a-way, he stops the team, sets the brake, hooks his 
 fingers together over his head, an nacherally lets 
 them road agents an passengers an gyards, settle 
 events in their own enfettered way. The driver, 
 usual, cusses out the brigands frightful. The laws 
 of the trail accords him them privileges, imposin no 
 reestrictions on his mouth. He s plumb free to 
 make what insultin observations he will, so long as 
 he keeps his hands up an* don t start the team none 
 ontil he s given the proper word; the same comin 
 from the hold-ups or the gyards, whoever emerges 
 winner from said emeutes. 
 
 " As I states, the last time Old Monte is made to 
 front the iron, the Wells-Fargo gyard gets plugged 
 as full of lead as a bag of bullets. An as to that 
 business of loot an plunder, them miscreants 
 shorely harvests a back load ! It catches Enright a 
 heap hard, this second break which these yere 
 felons makes. 
 
 " Cherokee Hall an me is settin in the Red 
 Light, whilin* away time between bev rages with 
 argyments, when Enright comes ploddin along in 
 with the tidin s. Cherokee an me, by a sing lar 
 
300 Wolfville Days* 
 
 coincidence, is discussin the topic of probity that 
 a-way, although our loocubrations don t flourish 
 none concernin stage rustlin . Cherokee is sayin : 
 
 " * Now, I holds that trade what you-all might 
 call commerce, is plenty sappenin to the integrity 
 of folks. Meanin no aspersions on any gent in 
 camp, shorely not on the proprietors of the New 
 York Store, what I reiterates is that I never meets 
 up with the party who makes his livin weighin* 
 things, or who owns a pa r of scales, who s on the 
 level that a-way. Which them balances, looks like, 
 weaves a spell on a gent s moral princ ples. He s 
 no longer on the squar . 
 
 " I m r ared back on my hocks organizin to com 
 bat the fal cies of Cherokee, when Enright pulls 
 up a cha r. By the clouds on his face, both me an* 
 Cherokee sees thar s somethin on the old chief s 
 mind a lot, wherefore we lays aside our own dis- 
 pootes which after all, has no real meanin , an is 
 what Colonel William Greene Sterett calls * ac - 
 demic* an turns to Enright to discover whatever 
 is up. Black Jack feels thar s news in the air an* 
 promotes the nose-paint without s licitation. En- 
 right freights his glass an then says : 
 
 " * You-all hears of the noomerous stage rob 
 beries? Well, Wolfville lose ag in. I, myse f, this 
 trip am put in the hole particular. If I onderstands 
 the drift of my own private affairs, thar s over forty 
 thousand dollars of mine on the stage, bein what 
 balance is doo me from that last bunch of cattle. 
 It s mighty likely though she s in drafts that a-way ; 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped, 301 
 
 an* I jest dispatches one of my best riders with a 
 lead hoss to scatter over to Tucson an wire in 
 formations east, to freeze onto that money ontil 
 further tidin s ; said drafts, if sech thar be, havin 
 got into the hands of these yere diligent hold-ups 
 aforesaid. 
 
 " Forty thousand dollars ! remarks Cherokee. 
 * Which that is a jolt for shore ! 
 
 " It shorely shows the oncertainties of things/ 
 says Enright, ag in referrin to his glass. I m in 
 the very act of congratulatin myse f, mental, that 
 this yere is the best season I ever sees, when a party 
 rides in from the first stage station towards Tuc 
 son, with the tale. It s shore a paradox ; it s a 
 case where the more I win, the more I lose. How 
 ever, I m on the trail of Jack Moore ; a conference 
 with Jack is what I needs right now. I ll be back 
 by next drink time ; an with that Enright goes 
 surgin off to locate Jack. 
 
 " Cherokee an me, as might be expected, turns 
 our powers of conversation loose with this new last 
 eepisode of the trail. 
 
 " * An I m struck speshul, says Cherokee, about 
 what Enright observes at the finish, that it s a in 
 stance where the more he wins, the more he loses ; 
 an how this, his best season, is goin to be his 
 worst. I has experiences sim lar myse f onct. 
 Which the cases is plumb parallel ! 
 
 " This time when my own individooal game 
 strikes somethin an glances off, is way back. I gets 
 off a boat on the upper river at a camp called 
 
302 Wolfville Days, 
 
 Rock Island. You never is thar? I don t aim to 
 encourage you-all ondooly, still your failure to see 
 Rock Island needn t prey on you as the rooin of 
 your c reer. I goes ashore as I relates, an the first 
 gent I encounters is old Peg-laig Jones. This yere 
 Peg-laig is a madman to spec late at kyards, an the 
 instant he sees me, he pulls me one side, plenty 
 breathless with a plan he s evolved. 
 
 " "Son," says this yere Peg-laig, "how much 
 money has you ? " 
 
 " * I tells him I ain t over strong ; somethin like 
 two hundred dollars, mebby. 
 
 " * " That s enough," says Peg-laig. " Son, give it 
 to me. I ll put three hundred with it, an that ll 
 make a roll of five hundred dollars. With a care 
 ful man like me to deal, she shorely oughter be 
 enough." 
 
 " "Whatever does these yere fiscal bluffs of 
 yours portend?" I asks. 
 
 " " They portends as follows," says Peg-laig. 
 " This yere Rock Island outfit is plumb locoed to 
 play faro-bank. I ve got a deck of kyards an a 
 deal box in my pocket. Son, we ll lay over a day 
 an* break the village." 
 
 " Thar s no use tryin* to head off old Peg-laig. 
 He s the most invet rate sport that a- way, an faro- 
 bank is his leadin* weakness. They even tells onct 
 how this Peg-laig is in a small camp in Iowa an is 
 buckin a crooked game. A pard sees him an 
 takes Peg-laig to task. 
 
 " " Can t you-all see them sharps is skinnin 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped* 303 
 
 you ? " says this friend, an his tones is loaded with 
 disgust. "Ain t you wise enough to know this 
 game ain t on the squar , an them outlaws has a 
 end-squeeze box an is dealin two kyards at a clat 
 ter an puttin back right onder your ignorant nose ? 
 Which you conducts yourse f like you was born last 
 week ! " 
 
 " "Of course, I knows the game is crooked," 
 says Peg-laig, plenty doleful, " an I regrets it as 
 much as you. But whatever can I do?" 
 
 " * " Do ! " says his friend ; " do ! You-all can 
 quit goin ag inst it, can t you ? " 
 
 " " But you don t onderstand," says Peg-laig, 
 eager an warm. " It s all plumb easy for you to 
 stand thar an say I don t have to go ag inst it. It 
 may change your notion a whole lot when I informs 
 you that this yere is the only game in town," an* 
 with that this reedic lous Peg-laig hurries back to 
 his seat. 
 
 " As I asserts former, it s no use me tryin to 
 make old Peg-laig stop when once he s started with 
 them schemes of his, so I turns over my two hun 
 dred dollars, an leans back to see whatever Peg. 
 laig s goin to a complish next. As he says, he s 
 got a box an a deck to deal with. So he fakes a 
 layout with a suite of jimcrow kyards he buys, 
 local, an a oil-cloth table-cover, an thar he is organ 
 ized to begin. For chips, he goes over to a store 
 an buys twenty stacks of big wooden button molds, 
 same as they sews the cloth onto for overcoat but 
 tons. When Peg-laig is ready, you should have 
 
304 Wolfville Days* 
 
 beheld the enthoosiasm of them Rock Island folks. 
 They goes ag inst that brace of Peg-laig s like a 
 avalanche. 
 
 " Peg-laig deals for mighty likely it s an hour. 
 Jest as he puts it up, he s a careful dealer, an the 
 result is we win all the big bets an most all the 
 little ones, an I m sort o estimatin in my mind 
 that we re ahead about four hundred simoleons. 
 Of a-sudden, Peg-laig stops dealin , up-ends his box 
 and turns to me with a look which shows he s plumb 
 dismayed. P intin at the check-rack, Peg-laig says : 
 
 " "Son, look thar!" 
 
 " Nacherally, I looks, an I at once realizes the 
 roots of that consternation of Peg-laig s. It s this : 
 While thar s more of them button molds in front of 
 Peg-laig s right elbow than we embarks with orig - 
 nal, thar s still twenty-two hundred dollars worth in 
 the hands of the Rock Island pop lace waitin to be 
 cashed. However do they do it ? They goes 
 stampedin over to this yere storekeep an pur 
 chases em for four bits a gross. They buys that 
 vagrant out that a-way. They even buys new 
 kinds on us, an it s a party tryin to bet a stack of 
 pants buttons on the high kyard that calls Peg- 
 laig s attention to them frauds. 
 
 " Thar s no he p for it, however; them villagers 
 is stony an adamantine, an so far as we has money 
 they shorely makes us pay. We walks out of Rock 
 Island. About a mile free of the camp, Peg-laig 
 stops an surveys me a heap mournful. 
 
 " " Son," he says, " we was winnin , wasn t we ? 
 
 " " Which we shore was," I replies. 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped. 305 
 
 " * " Exactly," says Peg-laig, shakin his head, 
 " we was shorely winners. An I want to add, 
 son, that if we-all could have kept on winnin for 
 two hours more, we d a-lost eight thousand dollars." 
 
 " * It s like this yere stage hold-up on Enright, 
 concloodes Cherokee ; it s a harassin instance of 
 where the more you wins, the more you lose. 
 
 " About this time, Enright an Jack Moore comes 
 in. Colonel Sterett an Dan Boggs j ines us acciden 
 tal, an we-all six holds a pow wow in low tones. 
 
 " Which Jack/ observes Enright, like he s ex- 
 perimentin an ropin for our views, * allows it s his 
 beliefs that this yere guileless tenderfoot, Davis, 
 who says he s from Buffalo, an who s been prancin 
 about town for the last two days, is involved in 
 them felonies/ 
 
 " * It ain t none onlikely/ says Boggs ; speshully 
 since he s from Buffalo. I never does know but one 
 squar gent who comes from Buffalo ; he s old 
 Jenks. An at that, old Jenks gets downed, final, 
 by the sheriff over on Sand Creek for stealin a 
 hoss. 
 
 " You-all wants to onderstand/ says Jack Moore, 
 cuttin in after Boggs, I don t pretend none to no 
 proofs. I jest reckons it s so. It s a common 
 scandal how dead innocent this yere shorthorn 
 Davis assoomes to be ; how he wants Cherokee to 
 explain faro-bank to him ; an how he can t onder 
 stand none why Black Jack an the dance-hall 
 won t mix no drinks. Which I might, in the hurry 
 of my dooties, have passed by them childish bluffs 
 
306 Wolfville Days. 
 
 onchallenged an* with nothin more than pityin* 
 thoughts of the ignorance of this yere maverick ; 
 but gents, this party overplays his hand. Last 
 evenin he asks me to let him take my gun; says 
 he s cur ous to see one. That settles it with me; 
 this Davis has been a object of suspicion ever since. 
 No, it ain t that I allows he s out to queer my 
 weepon none, hut think of sech a pretence of inno 
 cence! I leaves it to you-all, collectif an indivi- 
 dooal, do you reckon now thar s anybody, however 
 tender, who s that guileless as to go askin a perfect 
 stranger that a-way to pass him out his gun ? I 
 no ; this gent is overdoin them roles. He 
 ain t so tender as he assoomes. An* from the 
 moment I hears of this last stand-up of the stage 
 back in the canyon, I feels that this yere party is 
 somehow in the play. Thar s four in this band 
 who s been spreadin woe among the stage com 
 panies lately, an thar s only two of em shows in 
 this latest racket which they gives Old Monte, an* 
 that express gyard they shot up. Them other two 
 sports who ain t present is shore some ers ; an I 
 gives it as my opinions one of em s right yere in 
 our onthinkin center, actin silly, askin egreegious 
 questions, an allowin his name is Davis an that he 
 hails from Buffalo. 
 
 44 While Jack is evolvin* this long talk, we-all is 
 thinkin ; an , son, somehow it strikes us that thar s 
 mighty likely somethin in this notion of Jack s. 
 We-all agrees, however, thar bein* nothin def nite 
 to go on, we can t do nothin but wait. Still, pro 
 
When the Sta^e Was Stopped. 37 
 
 ;m con lik<:, we pushes forth in discussion of this 
 person. 
 
 44 It does look like this Davis/ says Colonel 
 Sterett, now Jack brings it up, is shorely playi.-. 
 part ; which he s over easy an* ontaught, even f 
 the East. This mornin , jest to give you-all ;i 
 sample, he comes sidlin up to me. "Is thar any 
 good fishin about yere ? " he asks. " Which I 
 shore yearns to fish some." 
 
 " " Does this yere landscape," I says, wavin my 
 arm about the hor zon, " remind you much of fr.h 
 Stranger/ I says, "fish an Christians is partic lar 
 spars : in An/on a." 
 
 "Then this person Davis la nches out into tales 
 d .-escriptif of how he goes anglin* back in the 
 States. "Which the eel is the gamest fish," says 
 Davi ,. " Wh rn I m visitin* in Vir^iimy, I used 
 to go fishin . I don t fish with a reel, an one of 
 them limber poles, an let a fish go swarmin* up an 
 down a stream, a-bn:<- lm false hopes in his bosom an* 
 lettin him think he s loose. Not me ; I wouldn t so 
 deloode wouldn t play it that low on a fish. I goes 
 anglin in a formal, sc f-rcspectin* way. I uses a 
 short, line an a pol<: which is stiff an strong. When 
 I gets a bite, I yanks him out an* lets him know 
 his fate right thar." 
 
 " " But eels ain t no game fish," I says. " Bass 
 is game, but not eels." 
 
 " " Eels ain t game none, ain t they ? " says t hi 
 e Davis, lettin oil he s a heap inti I "You- 
 all listen to me ; l-:t me tell you of a eel I snags 
 
308 Wolfville Days. 
 
 onto down by Culpepper. When he bites that 
 time I gives him both hands. That eel comes 
 through the air jest whistlin an w irlin . I slams him 
 ag inst the great state of Virginny. Suppose one of 
 them bass you boasts of takes sech a jolt. Whatever 
 would he have done? He d lay thar pantin* an 
 rollin his eyes ; mebby he curls his tail a little. 
 That would be the utmost of them resentments of 
 his. What does my eel do ? Stranger, he stands 
 up on his tail an fights me. Game ! that eel s 
 game as scorpions ! My dog Fido s with me. 
 Fido wades into the eel, an the commotion is awful. 
 That eel whips Fido in two minutes, Washin ton 
 time. How much does he weigh ? Whatever do I 
 know about it ? When he s done put the gaffs into 
 Fido, he nacherally sa nters back into the branch 
 where he lives at. I don t get him none ; I deems 
 I m plumb lucky when he don t get me. Still, 
 if any gent talks of game fish that a-way, I 
 wants it onderstood, I strings my money on that 
 Culpepper eel." 
 
 " Thar, it s jest as I tells you-all, gents ! says 
 Jack Moore a heap disgusted, when Colonel Sterett 
 gets through. This yere Davis is a imposter. 
 Which thar s no mortal sport could know as little 
 as he lets on an live to reach his age. 
 
 " We sets thar an lays plans. At last in pursoo- 
 ance of them devices, it gets roomored about camp 
 that the next day but one, both Enright an the 
 New York Store aims to send over to Tucson a roll 
 of money the size of a wagon hub. 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped. 309 
 
 " * Thar s no danger of them hold-ups, says 
 Enright to this Davis, lettin on he s a heap confi- 
 denshul. They won t be lookin for no sech 
 riches bein freighted over slap on the heels of this 
 yere robbery. An we don t aim to put up no 
 gyards alongside of Old Monte neither. Gyards 
 is no good ; they gets beefed the first volley, an 
 their presence on a coach that a-way is notice that 
 thar s plenty of treasure aboard. 
 
 " It s in this way Enright fills that Davis as full 
 of misinformation as a bottle of rum. Also, we 
 deems it some signif cant when said shorthorn 
 saddles his hoss over to the corral an goes skally- 
 hootin for Tucson about first drink time in the 
 mornin . 
 
 " I ve a engagement in the Oriental S loon, he 
 says, biddin us good-bye plenty cheerful, * but I ll 
 be back among you-all sports in a week. I likes 
 your ways a whole lot, an* I wants to learn em 
 some. 
 
 " Which I offers four to one/ says Jack Moore, 
 lookin after him as he rides away, you ll be back 
 yere sooner than that, an you-all won t know it 
 none, at that. 
 
 " It s the next day when the stage starts ; Old 
 Monte is crackin his whip in a hardened way, carin 
 nothin for road agents as long as they don t inter 
 fere with the licker traffic. Thar s only one passen 
 ger. 
 
 " Shore enough, jest as it s closin in some dark in 
 Apache Canyon, an the stage is groanin an creakin 
 
Wolfvilie Days* 
 
 along on a up grade, thar s a trio of hold-ups shows 
 on the trail, an the procession comes to a halt. 
 Old Monte sets the brake, wrops the reins about it> 
 locks his hands over his head, an turns in to cuss. 
 The hold-ups takes no notice. They yanks down the 
 Wells-Fargo chest, pulls off the letter bag, accepts 
 a watch an a pocket-book from the gent inside, 
 who s scared an shiverin an scroogin back in the 
 darkest corner, he s that terror-bit ; an then they 
 applies a few epithets to Old Monte an commands 
 him to pull his freight. An Old Monte shorely 
 obeys them mandates, an goes crashin off up the 
 canyon on the run. 
 
 " Them outlaws hauls the plunder to one side of 
 the trail an lays for the mail-bag with a bowie. 
 All three is as busy as prairy dogs after a rain, 
 rippin open letters an lookin for checks an drafts. 
 Later they aims at some op rations on the express 
 company s box. 
 
 " But they never gets to the box. Thar s the 
 lively tones of a Winchester which starts the can 
 yon s echoes to talkin . That rifle ain t forty foot 
 away, an it speaks three times before ever you-all, 
 son, could snap your fingers. An that weepon 
 don t make them observations in vain. It ain t 
 firm no salootes. Quick as is the work, the sights 
 shifts to a new target every time. At the last, all 
 three hold-ups lays kickin an jumpin like chickens 
 that a-way ; two is dead an the other is too hard 
 hit to respond. 
 
 " Whoever does it ? Jack Moore ; he s that one 
 
When the Stage Was Stopped* 3 11 
 
 shiverin* passenger that time. He slides outen the 
 stage as soon as ever it turns the angle of the can 
 yon, an comes scoutin an crawlin back on his 
 prey. An I might add, it shore soothes Jack s 
 vanity a lot, when the first remainder shows down 
 as that artless maverick, Davis. Jack lights a pine 
 splinter an looks him over pale an dead an* done. 
 " Which you-all is the victim of over-play, says 
 Jack to this yere Davis, same as if he hears him. 
 * If you never asks to see my gun that time, it s 
 even money my suspicions concernin* you might be 
 sleepin yet. ff 
 
BOOKS ON NATURE STUDY BY 
 
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 NEDRA, by George Barr McCutcheon, with color frontispiece, 
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