A; Ai o: 0: 1 ; 4: 3i 3i 3: I': 2': CHALLIS ^ Wife's Husband THE MINOR DRAMA THE ACTING EDITIOX. No. CXXVI. ,MY WIFE'S HUSBAND. A FARCE, IN TWO ACTS. BY F. CHALLIS. TO WHICH ARE ADDED A Description of the Costume — Cast of the Characters — Kntrances and Exits— Belativo Positious of tbe Performers oa the Stage, and the whole of the Stage Bu AS PERFORMED AT TUE PRINCIPAL LONDON AND AMERICAN THEATEES. NEW YORK: S A M U E L FRENCH, • 122 Nassau Street, (Up Stairs.) CAST OF CHARACTERS.— [Mt Wife's Hd-sbahd.) Mh. Wildlove, - - Brass, ----- Petek Poppleton, - Capt. Cliffy, - - Testy, - - - - - Joseph, - - - - 1st Waitex!, - - - 2cr DO. - - - Isabella, - - - - Mrs. Wildlove, - - Park, 1830. Mr. Ilichings. Mr. T. Placide. Mr. Barnes. Mr, Woodhull. Mr. Foot. iilr. Povey. Mr. Charlton. Mr. Bisset, Mrs. Blake. Mrs. Wallack. }ueen^s, London. Mr. Vining. Mr. Chapman, Mr. Ross. Mr. Howard* Mr. Gattie. Mr. Coates. Mr. Brown. Miss A. Tree. Miss Le Vol, COSTUME. MR. WILDLOVE.— Brown coat— black tights— Hessian boots, &c. PETER POPPLETON.— Shooting coat— buckskia breeches — fair top boots. CAPT. CLIFFY.— Naval uniform, TESTV. — Brown old man's suit — shoes and buckles JOSEPH.— Livery. ISABELLA.— White satin dress. MRS. WILDLOVE.— Pink satin dress. STAGE DIRECTIONS. R. means Right ; L. Left ; C. Centre ; R. C. RigU of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre ; D. F. Door in Flat ; R. D. Right Door'; L. D. Left Door; S. E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; C. D. Centre Door. *i* The reader is supposed to be on the stage, facin<; the audience. urcrqrnsiTY of californu- SA:TA TjA^i};.M{A MY WIFE'S HUSBAND. ACT 1. SCENE I. — A Room at an Inn ; table and chairs, with a coat over the back ; bells ringing, ijC. Enter two Waiters, l. First ^^aitcr. This way, sir — this way. Wil. [ Without.] Brass'! Brass ! I say Second IVaiter. This way, gentlemen. First iVaiter. Oh, Isay[lohu, have you seen Brass, Mr. Wildlo ve's servant ? He's in such a devil of a passion ; oh, here he is, — this way, sir. , [Exeunt Waiters, h. Enter Wii.df.ove, follou^ed by Brass, l. Wil. Where the devil can that rascal of mine be? — Is this what you call making haste, you scoundrel ? Bra. I'm sure, sir, 1 used every exertion, but the lady lives at the other end of the town, add I had not an oppor- tunity — Wtl. Opportunity, indeed ! — don't tell me about oppor tunilies, when on my errands you shall Hy. — Well, did you see my charmer ? — Ilave you enquired who she is ? — what she is ? — whence she comes ? — whither she goes ? — what her father is ? — who her mother was ? — or how many aunts, uncles, and cousins she has? Just answer these tew par- ticulars and I'll forgive you. Bra. Oh ! dear nie ! Wd. Dear! — To be sure she is. Has she not cost me two whole days ? Only consider. Brass — eight and forty hours from my beloved wife. Not that I care a curse about the girl, but 1 promised to be at home a week ago. Bra. I am sure my mistress regrets the cause of your delay. Wil. I dare say she does, poor thing. 1 would not cause her a pang for the world, therefore it is far preferable that 10 My wipe's husband. [act i. she should suppose 1 am detained by illness than you know what. Bra. Certainly, sir; lean affirm that you have suffered a martyrdom. Wil. Ah, Brass, ye single men cannot imagine how com- fortable a husband finds himself in such a situation. The sweet anticipation of meeting after the pangs of absence, which is my sole motive for leaving your mistress in town. Jira. How blessed you are, sir, with a partner so en* gaging. Wil. True ! — very engaging, — has engaged me for life. No matter, if I can but discover who this angel is, — she is an angel, is she not. Brass ? — Eves — sparkle — sparkle — sparkle ; — lips like twin rubies, and then — " Her ivory cheek scarce tinted like the glow, The setting sun reflects on new-fall'u snow." Bra. For all the world like my mistress! Wil. Pshaw ! — Never make comparisons, they are so odious ! — But what success ? — any answer for me f Bra. I could gain no intelligence until it was my good fortune to meet her maid, sir. Wil. Her maid I I'll be bound you soon knew all about it then. Bra. She was not to be done so easily. Howevet, 1 learned that her name was Isabella. Wil. Delightful! — Isabella! — charming name! Brass, I'll giye vou a guinea ! Bra. l^hat she resides with her father. Wil. Admirable! You shall have live, Brass — five gui- neas ! Bra. I persuaded the maid to deliver your note, and after waiting two hours she brought an answer. Wil. An answer! — Quick! where is it ? — I'll give you twenty guineas ! — you are the best fellow upon earth and de- serve my eternal esteem ; depend upon me I'll do something handsome for you. Now for the answer, my dear fellow. Bra. Bless me ! I hope — I cannot have lost it. Wil. Lost it ! — Say that word again, and I'll be the death of you! and cut you oil' with a shilling — Bra. [ Giving a letter.'\ H ere it is — but VO'i }iurry me so {Aside.'\ Written by mistress herself, iu a forged hand to deceive him. Wil. [Reading.'] " Jf yavr professions be really sincere, and you seek an interview, fail not to tneet my servant at the library this evening, nhowill conductyou to your Isa- bella." Brass, my boy, I'll be the making of you! Bra. That is too much, sir — I had rather have the twenty guineas which you were pleased to promise just now. SCENE I.] MY wife's HUSBAND. H Wil. Leave them with me ; — be assured they shall be no- thing to what I iuteud. Bra. I forgot to say that Miss Isabella is engaged to her cousin, who is expected every day at her father's. \i'd. Engaged to her cousin ! I'll break his unfortunate neck. Bra. Poor gentleman ! What has he done ? Wil. Nothing yet I hope, and I'll take good care that is all he shall do. While I keep the appointment, you must be upon the watch for this hero. Bra. I will : but what shall I tell him, sir ? W'tl. Any thing you please; — say the family he came to look for are gone. ii/a. Where? Wil. Gone to look for him. Tell him his intended fa- ther-in-law has married his daughter himself, so he cannot Jjave her, and that you would advise him to return immedi- ately, as the scarlet fever is raging, — any little thing in tliat way. Bra. I understand, sir, — some trifle after my peculiar manner. Stay, sir, 1 called at the office and found this letter which had been there a week. [Gives the letter. Wil. Upon my life, you had better turn two-penny post- nan. I dare say it is from that pestering booby Cracka- way, the coachniakcr ; curse the fellow! he expects to be paid, and had the impudence to threaten me with a visit from a bailift", because, after he had called fifteen times for the money, I threatened to kick him down stairs. Bra. An unreasonable varletl Wil. Let me see the direction. My wife's writingby all that's scrawling ! I dare say the contents are higiUy in- teresting, but I really cannot spare time to read them now, so I think you may as well answer it for me. Say I am re- covering, and am desired to be kept perfectly quiet. Bra. Mistress will never think of coming, after such a hint. Wil. Mind, Brass, I cannot tell what may occur; so, should we meet by accident, you must not know me. Bra. Trust me for that, sir. Wil. Say something kind for me in vour answer; — am dying to behold her soon, but above alf be sure impress stiougly that no one must disturb me, as my success de- pends upon being left to myself. [Exit, R. Bra. Ha! ha 1 ha! — Yes, you will indeed see her much sooner than you expect, ftly mistress is acquainted with every proceeding ; for although my master's letter, contain- ing the intelligence of his pretended indisposition, did not disclose our address, yet tne post-mark gave sufficient evi- dence where we might be found. This unkaowa beauty. 12 MY wife's husband. [act I. who has captivated my master, is my mistress's cousin, and the ladies, have resolved to play him a trick, which it is hoped will cure him of these roviiigs. But it is no atfair of mine — each rewards me liberally, and 1 am in duty bound to make myself useful. Who have we liere, I wonder? — a strange looking fellow I — Egad, I'll put on this coat and see if I can't act the gentleman a little. [^Puts on the coat. Enter Waiter, l. Wai. This way, sir, if you please ; excellent accommo- dations. Bra. Surely this is oyr rival. Enter Pofpleton, in a shooting dress, gun, ^c. l. Pop. There's a good young man ; give my dogs some meat — take care ot the pug, for it's a huge favourite of mama. Wai. I will, sir. [Exit, L. Pop. When! oh, dear! what warm work this is ; — they may well call it firing, for blow me if I an't just melting. Bra. You appear equipped for execution, sir. Pop. Yes! rather a swell cut, an't it? Do you know, as I came across the park, I was afear'd the keepers might take me for a buck and shoot me. Bra. Ha! ha! ha! — good sport this morning, sir. Pop. Sport ! — egad! I hav'nt yet found out the sport, tramping over ploughed fields in the dog days; and as for the game, blow me but it's all wild fowl I think, for none can I see. To be sure something moved in a bush, but as soon as my gun went off egad, if I didn't go off too: for out popped summut brown, that run away like fun. Bra. Ah, my dear sir, you should adopt the new system, which totally precludes the use of dogs. Pop. I'mglad there is a new way, for my dogs ran away too — poor things! they an't been used to a gun; no more has my shoulder, for it had such a thump, bless you it's all black as gunpowder. Bva. Modern sportsmen use the double barrel, one to start the game, while the other is reserved to kill. Pop. Yes, and I should be killed. One barrel is heavy enough for me; for what with running after the nug, and carryinp. No ! — come, now, that's too strong. .,^',y- 9^ wnsequence, I mean. I am just Ifke one of the family. Had the pleasure to dine with your uncle yes- terday,— worthy old soul, neither of us tasted a morsel for talking ahuut you. Pop. Well, thatwaskind;— worthjoldsoulishe? I'm glad of that Mr. What's-your-name ? Bra. Ilarring^ton— Captain Harrington, much at your •ervice, [Aside/] and my master's. Pop. Then there's my cousin, who lam comedown to marry ; tho' I have never seen her or uncle yet, but mama managed it alL Bra. Miss Isabella is an angel i— plays, sings and aances to perfection. ' Pop. Dances, does she? Egad I'll shew her something —I an' t much of a ghot but know a little about balls 1 fancy. There's our assembly at the Cat and Wanuin-'-pan- we do^o it so every other Monday. '^ ' Bra. Unfortunately you have a rival; be assured that a lady possessing such attractions could not remain unnotic- ed. But It is of little consequence, as a man of your bravery and gallantry must soou put every other suitor to flight. Pop. Sujppose they woirt fly ? Bra. TnL'Q they must be made. Twelve paces and a brace of bal s— bang ! bang ! The business is settled Pop. Perhaps he may bang, bang me ;— besides, I an't used to those sort of balls. I i^T 1?"!^*^' ""'i'"' I'V'!' you »°to a secret;— the youDff lady fooUishly preieis a dashing captain just returned from a cruse. Pop. Ah ! she hasn't seen me. Bra. But her father's vote and interest are secured in your favour. I can confidently assert that your rival will not relish a duel, notwithstanding his commission: press your suit boldly, and the day is your own. ^?Pr L'^f'V'f'"''/-**^ day a" fig's end ; are you sure he v:on't fight ? Only think, if I should be killed. ^ra. A mere tiifie; you would have the satisfaction to die on the held of honour, in the cause of beauty —Cheer «r, man v a man risks his life for such a chance. Pop. Any body may have mine. However,' if I must I must ! for mama would not see me again if I dared go homfl Rithout 3 Wifo. You're certain he won'tfight? S 14 MY wife's husband. [act i Bra. On the word of an officer and a gentleman. Pop. I've a great mind to invite him to dinner; may-be he will settle the business for me. [Aside.] My dear captain, if you will favour me with your company to dinner, we can talk the matter over; afterwards, I shall be obliged if you will shew me the way to my uncle's ? Bra. With the greatest pleasure. Here, Waiter ! — you are so pressing; Waiter I — so obliging. Here, Joan, Thomas L where the devil are ye all ? Enter Waiter, i. Wai. Coming, sir. Bra. Coming, sir! This is always the case when I calk Quick ! — prepare the front room, with dinner for two im- mediately. Let me see — tish, couple of ducks, little game, veal cutlet, and some other trifle ; with a handsome desert: and be sure let the Madeira be good; the Champaigne which you sent up at my last party was execrable — couldn't drink it. [ylsiWe.] Deuced good reason why. There, fly. Wai. Ves, sir. Pop. [Aside.'\ I could see he's a gentleman with hall an eye. Such a manner of ordering the servants. Wai. Would you prefer a private room, gentlemen ? Bra. A private room ! — would you choose to be private? Pop. Oh! certainly'. A private toomiaihispublic-housej by all manner ef means. Wai. This way, gentlemen — this way. \^Exeunt Brass and Poppkton, arm in arm, r. Reenter Poppleton, r. Pop. \ Taking his giin.^ These things go off sometimes ! \^Exit, R. SCENE II. — An apartment in Testy's house, with folding doors, c. F. a closet, i.. v. Enter, Testv, r. Tes. Plague take all relations, say I ! A man cannot re- tire, with the intention to live at his ease in the country, but a host of cockney nephews and nieces swann around him like locusts, devouring all before them. There is that boo- by Poppleton; 1 intend him to marry my daughter, Isabella, 80 he has sent word that he will favor me witn his company for a week's shooting ; occupying my servants, breaking rfown my fences, and destroying my game. I'd be sworn he never saw a gun in his liie, except the old musket that his father used when in the volunteers ! I have not seen the youngster since he was an infant, so hope for tlie best. Then my daughter has a visitor in her newly married cousiOa SCENE II.] MY wife's HUSBAND. 15 Mrs. Wildlove, to whom I have the happiness to be guar- dian. She, too, gives me the hope of an immediate nitro- duction to her husband, whom she has married while on a visit to town. I have never seen him but reports are un- favourable. Egad ! if he displease me, not a farthing of her fortune shall he touch I — and to crown all, 1 suspect that Isabella loves that roving captain : oh, a plague take all relations ! Here, Joseph ! Enter Joseph, r. Jos. Sir! Tes. Has the gentleman arrived whom I expected from town ? Jos. Not yet, sir. Tes. The coach must have come in so I'll step to the of- fice, Joseph: — do you know Captain ClifHy? Jos. 1 have seen him, sir. Tei. And would recole. — Joseph I Wil. [Aside.l When they are at supper I will steal down stairs ; with the assistance of Brass, arrive in my proper character, and overwhelm my enemies with con- fusion. Enter Joseph, l. Jos. There is a gentleman wishes to see you, sir. Tes. I'll step to him immediately. Jos'eph, I shall be from home for a few days, lock this room up directly — double lock it, d'ye hear? and give me the keys. [Exeunt Testy and Joseph, l, Wil. [Aside.'] I will not stay here to be locked up, while they regale at supper, or starve for a week when thev are gone to the lakes. [Coming forward.] I really regret ex- ceedingly to disturb the happiness and delightful tranquil- tty whicn prevails^ Cli Pray w^ho are you, sir? Wil. My business is first with this lady, sir. 28 MY wife's husband. [act It. Mts. W. With me ! — impossible ! Cli. And by what right, sir ? Wil. No great right, sir, only as her husband — as my wile's husband. Mrs. W. The odious wretch ! — take him from my sight! Isn. Indeed, cousin, I cannot commend your choice. Cli. Well, I must conlejs that the servants in this house are the most impudent scoundrels in existence ! Wil. Do you take me for a footman, sir? Cli. But for the presence of these ladies, I would horse- whip you down stairs, Mrs W. I beg we may not interrupt your wishes. Wil. This hectoring will not serve yourpurposcj — I assert that this lady is my wife. Mrs. W. 1 shall certainly faint if the monster be permit- ted to remain near me. Isa. See I she swoons ! — help! Enter Brass, l. Bra. Help ! — what's the matter now, I wonder? Wil. Ha ! Brass here I — I shall easily be identified. This, sir, is my servant, if you think proper to questioa him, no doubt tut he will satisfy your doubts. Cli. [To Brass."] Do you know who this madman is? Bra. I never saw him oefore in the whole course of my life, sir. Cli. What's that, scoundrel? Wil. He knows nothing of you, and it is clear you must be an impostor or a lunatic. Wil. O monstrous depravity ! — Am I awake ? — my own wife denies me — my servant swears he never saw me, and I almost doubt wiie'thor I am myself or somebody else. [ To Mrs. Wildlove.'\ My dear madam, will you do me the fa- vour to examine me ? am I not your husband ? Mrs. W. [ Tinning from him to CUffly.] Oh ! save me ! —do not allow him to approach. Wil. [To Isabella.'] And you, fair excellence — surely you will not deny me ? Isa. I never beheld you until to-day. Bra. Foor fellow 1 nobody vvill own him. Wil. I cannot bear it I — I'll raise the house ! — I'll be re- venged !— Madam ! — ladies ! — sir ! — Brass ! — the devil ! — will ye hear me ? — will you lend me a patient hearing for a few moments ? — I am not mad! Bra. He's breaking out a>fain. Take care — these rtad folks have such a knack at biting. Poor creature ! takes me for his servant too. Wil. [Aside.^ I have it!— I suspect a trick here, and have SCENE I.] Ur WIFE S HUSBAND. 29 hit upon a schwfne shall turn the tide in my favour; — over- whelm them with their own contrivance, and at the same time get me out of this unfortunate affair. Cli. Kxcuse me, ladies, 1 must chastise this insolence. Wd. Do not trouble yourself, sir, or alarm the ladies. Isa. We are not the least frightened. Wil. Indeed! For you, sir, be assured you shall hear from me when you least expect it. Cli. The sooner the better, sir. \VU. [Aside,] Now for my ruse-dc-guerre, wliich if it succeed, 1 shall retrieve all my misfortunes. — Ladies — sir — Brass — now hear me ! — oh horrible ! \_Exit L. Omnes [Laughitig] Ha! ha I ha! Isa. {Laughing.'] Ha I ha! ha! we have frightened him however. Mrs. W. This is no jesting matter, Isabella. Ilow shall we undeceive my uncle? Cli. 1 only fear that we have carried this joke too far. Bra. The old gentleman is coming, and does not appear over pleased. Enter Testt, l. Tes. Plague lake these interruptions I say. Now to sup- rer, and thfu we'll go to bed. Come, girls, to supper. To Cliffiy,] WiliUovo! — why man. you seem in the dumps; — what's the matter now ? — Not J)ecn quarrelling 1 hope. Isabella, what is all this whispering about ? Cli. [Aside.] I must confess. My dear sir — Jsa. Yes, my dear papa, we — Mrs. W. My dear uncle — Tes. Zounds I what d'ye mean ? — Speak out, will ye? — oh, I sec it all — I guess the reason of your silence, so don't Btand tidgetting tliere. Jsa. And do you really know? — and will you forgive us, sir? Tes. Will I fi>rgive you? — to be sure I will. Oh! you little baggage, I see it in your looks ; you are disappointed that your cousin Popplcton is not here to join us I — Hush! I wo'n't hear a word — I know that is it, — don't deny it. — Hold your tongues! But I expect him soon for he had left the Inn on his way hither. Enter Joseph, l. Jos. Mr. Poppleton is below, sir. Tes. Send him up, Joseph. Come, no more pouting. [Exit Joseph, l. Bra. [Aside.] Poppleton coming ! — then I must be going. J?;iier Wii.DLOVE, i.. in travelling coat, ^c. Wil. [Running to Testy and embracing him.] Ah! my c 3 30 MT wife's husband. ^act ir. honoured uncle ! — Po I behold you well ? — my more than parent! let me embrace you. — Ladies, your truly devoted. — [Embracing again.'\ JMy dear, dear uncle ! Tes. What ! nephew Poppleton ! — I'm glad to see you. —How you are grown. Wil. Quite out of knowledge. {AsideJ] I hope — Isa, \^Aside.'\ Amazement ! — Wildlove 1 * Mrs. \V. \^Axide.~\ My husband! Cli. [Aside.l Here's an end to my pretensions. Tes. I think 1 should have known you, nephew. — The family face. Let me introduce you. Isabella, my daugh- ter — Mr. Poppleton, your cousin — Mr. and Mrs. Wildlove. Wil. Is that the beauteous Isabella, whose charms have been the admiration of all London? — Madam, I salute you — Mrs. Wildlove, I am your's — Bra. [^Aside.] I see how things are going, and it is only fair that I give master a turn now — Mr. Poppleton I am glad to see you looking so well. Wil. l^Aside to Brass.] You know me now, you rascal? — Ah Brass! — how do, Brass? — hav'nt seen you sometime; — pretty well, eh? \^Aside.] Swear you know me, or dread the weight of my arm. How s mother and sister, eh. Brass? Tes. You know Mr. Wildlove^ then, since you seem so intimate with his servant? Wil. Know Wildlove! — aye, that I do. — Jack, how are you ? — we are old play-fellows. Why uncle, we are sworn friends; Wildlove and I are two bodies, and one soul — sort of Siamese-youths, as I may say, — an't we. Jack ? Cli. [Aside.} I dare not deny the acquaintance. — [To Testy.] Mr. Poppleton and I are very old acquaintances, sir. Wil. [Aside!] Been very intimate for this half hour. Tes. And his wife — Wil. His wife's a nice woman ! — a huge favourite of mine I assure you, uncle ; — had half a mind to cut Jack out once ; •^nearly succeeded too, did'nt I Sukey ? — How do you find yourself? — how's Mary and Jane ? — Saw your brother last week, — desired his kind love to you. Mrs. W. [Aside ] How he triumphs at our confusion ! Tes. Just such a rattling blade as his father, and takes after me exactly. But I say, nephew, how arc all friends at home ? Wil. Quite hearty, thank you. My sweet cousin, Isa- bella, those bright eyes of yours have already captivated your slave. — Almost supper time, uncle? — saw the cloth laid as I came up stairs ; — do me Ihe honour to accept my arm. Excuse nie, unkey, we'll lead the way. What a commodious dwelling I windows only thirty feet from the ground — quite a trifle for a jump, eh, uncle ? — Such excel- lent closets for preserves. — Come along, supper will be ccld» [Wildlove is leading Isabella out, L. S«BNii I.] MY wife's husband. 81 EiUer Peter Voppleton, meeting them. Pop. Never saw such a place — I can't find my way out. Wil. Who have we here ? Pop. Do pray shew me the way to the street door. Tes. Pray who are you, sir ? Pop. I sliall be glad if you will tcl iie. This morning I was called Poppleton, but Pve been called a good many names since then. I want to find one Mr. Testy. Wil. [To Testv.] Says his name is Poppleton I Tes. I am Mr. Testy. Pop. Then you are my uncle. Wil. [LauffAing.] Ha! ha 1 ha! — it won't do, friend; that's a good one — I am Peter Poppleton, nephew to my uncle. Pop. Yes ! — come, that's a good one. "Why my friend. Captain Harrison, can prove who I am. — Captain, speak for me. Bra. Do you address me, sir? Pop. You are the officer I dined with, I believe. J3ra. You must mistake, sir. Wil. [Laughing.] Ha! ha I ha! you see, uncle, he evi- dently is not an old offender, or he would not choose such a witness to speak in his favour. Pop. But I say I don't mistake ; — didn't vou say vou know'd me bj- the family visage — didn't we rfine togetlier at the Blue Lion ? — and didn't I pay for the plaguey'lot of wine you drank ? Bra. Couldn't be, sir — I never drink wine — it does not agree with me. Pop. I wish you had thought of it before dinner. Tes. This story is too improbable ; — calling Mr. "Wild- love's servant an officer. Wil. [Apart to Testy."] Suppose, uncle, this should be some favoured lover of my cousin's in disguise ;■ what think ye of it? Tes. Right, boy. — I have long suspected something of the kind. Wil. [To Poppleton.] I say Mr. Impudence, hear me. "We know you, notwithstanding your attempt at conceal- ment. Miss Isabella is your magnet. — Fie, cousin ! when I consider the honour of my uncle's housfe, it behoves me to express my opinion upon this unpleasant subject. Isa. What can he mean ? Tes. Go on, bov, go on — all the family blood in your veins. You shall have my daughter — that scamping rascal, who has been so anxious to win her, shall find me a match for him. Cli. [Aside.] Must I endure all this? Wil. [To Pbppleton] I-Rt me advise you to depart in- igS MT WITE'S husband [ACT tt. stantly, ana consider yourself fortunate that, in the pleni- tude of our mercy, we do ivot make an exampleof the worst of offenders. For my cousin, Isabella, 1 know not what to say; making her father's house a place of concealment for her favourites ! — shame ! — lie, cousin, lie 1 Jsu. Sir, I deny your assertions 1 Wil. [Apart to hubella.'\ Hush I my angel, remember the closet; — only assist me, and you are safe. Pop. All this signifies nothing — I've my uncle's corres- pondence in my pocket. Tes. Aye, produce them, I know my owa writing. Wil. \AsideA Those cursed epistles ! Pop. Here they are then, look at them. Tes. "VVhere are my spectacles ? I cannot see -without. Wil. ^Takes the letters.'] My uncle cannot read them ; — the fact IS, he does not know his letters, so they are not pi'oofs. But we know you — that you are making use of a name which does not belong to you. Poj). And I know yon too. — I think we met about half an hour ago, in this room. You may shake your head, but I am positive, and there's a livery jacket peeping out under your great coat, — we'll soon see who's who, Mr.Doubleskin. Wil. The devil take his penetration 1 Tes. What does he say ? Give me the letters. As I live, my own writing I Pop, To te sure the.y are ; and here's another from my mama. Wil. \^Aside. ] it's all over with mc — I see through my wife's stratagem, and am resolved to profit by this day's adventures. Tes. \To Wildlove.'] Then who are you, sir ? Wil. I'he ladies sht)uld have the privilege of explaining. Isa. Mis. Wildlove, sir, deserves the preference. Mrs. W. {To Wildlove.'] There is but one event which could reconcile me to my uncle's displeasure, — the hope — the assurance of a husband's reformation and forgiveness. Wil. Then we have but to request our uncle's blessing. [ They kneel to Testy. Tes. And you are man and wife ? — and I have been "ic- ccived ? Wil. We confess our errors, sir. Tes. Then rise, and take my best wishes. — A generous n.ind requires no greater concession. What says Isabella? Isu. That she trusts to her father's generosity and affection. Tes. And she shall not repent it. Cli. Mightl presume to an inlere^t in your kindness, sir? Tes. tJpnu my word, I must trouble some of my friends for. an introduction. Wil. My dear uuclc, I will cKplain evei*y thing to ^your SCENE I.] MY wipe's HUSBAND. 33 eatisfaction hereafter. — For the present, allow me to present Captain Cliffly, who hopes that the resemblance to your old friend, which you were pleased to discover while lie repre- sented your luuuhle servant, will not operate to his disad- vantage. 'Iia. Captain Cliffly! Wtt. The same, sir. — Isabella, I believe, can identify. Tes. Charmin<^ cross purposes I But what thinks my nephi w Pojiiileton ? Pop. I only think it's almost supper time, uncle. — Miss Isabella is at liberty fur me. " Do in haste, and repent at leisure," as my mama says. Tcs. This is all very line, but I am not quite sure that every body can tell \vho they are. A short time since, Clif- fly was Wildlove — Wildlove was Poppleton, and Popple- ton was — Pop. Going home by the mail, if he could have found his wav out. Tes. But now that he is found out, I insist upon his stay- ing. 1 perceive there is some mystery in this day's proceed- ings, w hich will require too long an explanation to be entered upon now. I have only to add, if you are happy, I am content. Wil. Many thanks, my dear uncle. Isabella. I shall ex- pect that Captain Cliffly be not allowed to lose himself for want of a guide, like our fiiend Poppleton, whose pardon I now solicit; and if we have been so fortunate as to gain the smiles and applause of our kind surrounding friends, whose approbation is our best reward, our first wishes are realized, and we are happy, and I should be indeed content could I but secure your welcome greetings for My Wife's Husband! FINALE. " We trust that oureflorts to cause you delight From plaudits will now have a greeting; And hope those kind patrons, who come here to-night. Will honour our next merry meeting!" DISPOSITION OF TIIL t^nARACTERS AT THE FALL OF THE CURTAIN. Brass, Cliffly. Isabella. Mrs. Wild. Wild. Testy. Pop. TUB END. PR 4H-S3 A?9 dm THE LIBRARY UNIVERSITY OF CALIFOF Santa Barbara THIS BOOK IS DUE ON THE L STAMPED BELOW. Series 9482