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 look aT /he Cric^e/" .
 
 THE 
 
 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 AND 
 
 THOSE WE MEET THEEE. 
 
 BY A WYKEHAMIST. 
 
 LONDON: 
 JOHN CHAPMAN, 142, STRAND. 
 
 M.DCCC.LTII.
 
 LONDON : 
 PRINTED BY WOODFALL AND K1NDEE, 
 
 A-XOEL COURT, SlilNNER STREET.
 
 in 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 IF any enthusiastic Wykehamist thinks this little 
 sketch is going forth into the world for the purpose 
 of puffing Winchester, that enthusiastic Wyke- 
 hamist will find himself mistaken. The only defi- 
 nition of parties will be the " Ins " and the " Outs," 
 and I pledge myself that I will endeavour to record 
 the fluctuations of the noble game without the slight- 
 est prejudice, and my great desire is, that the victory 
 shall be so described that any Eton, Harrow, or 
 Winchester man can say, " Don't you remember we 
 won that match, in 18 , when Longlegs, or Short- 
 legs (as the case may be), was Captain;" and if any 
 one claims that match as a description of any par- 
 ticular triumph, the probability is that he will be 
 some years out in his reckoning. 
 
 One word more is necessary. If, in the de- 
 
 A 2 
 
 632394
 
 IV PREFACE. 
 
 scription of the characters, any one fancies himself 
 " shown up/' he will again be mistaken. If the cap 
 fits, he must wear it but as Public Schools embrace 
 every variety of character and disposition, it is not 
 improbable that some peculiarities may be attributed 
 to some particular individual whom the author has 
 never seen or heard of. 
 
 The Pen-and-ink' sketches are the production 
 of a "Westminster Aquatic," and I hope my 
 Readers will agree with me that he ought to take 
 to Cricket as well 
 
 " Sera nunquam est," &c. 
 
 I need not finish the sentence, as probably we have 
 all been flogged over it at any rate, I have, for one.
 
 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES. 
 
 FIEST INNINGS. 
 
 IT is a blazing hot day in August, Lincoln's Inn 
 Square is like an oven, and the porters are vainly 
 trying to find a shady spot where they can shelter 
 themselves from the piercing rays of the sun, and at 
 the same time be in the way for business. As if 
 out of compliment to the weather, the dullest of all 
 dull appeals is going on in the courts, and the judge 
 is with laudable perseverance listening to a story 
 without a beginning or end from the drowsiest of 
 Queen's Counsel, whose speaking would in ordinary 
 times act as a soporific to a man on the rack. 
 
 I stroll out again into the square. Mr. Bellows, 
 Q. C., is standing by a post at the corner, on the top
 
 6 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 of which he has placed his wig which he has taken 
 off, making the post look like a little iron barrister 
 \vithout arms. As I go by him, I hear, " my son is 
 playing in the matches at Lord's to-day, but I 
 never was a cricketer, you know ; so I shall not be 
 there." 
 
 This really is more than flesh and blood can bear. 
 To see a man standing there, deliberately telling an- 
 other that he has a son playing in the Public School 
 Matches, and to imagine that he will not take the 
 trouble to go and see him play, is enough to give 
 a full-grown man the blue devils. " Miserable old 
 man," I ruminate, " on you the finest leg-hit ever 
 made is entirely lost ; as far as you are concerned the 
 sharpest catch at point is thrown away." Oh, Mr. 
 Bellows, Mr. Bellows, if you were standing at the 
 Avicket now, and I could have the chance of throw- 
 ing the ball in from middle off, whilst the men were 
 running, I would sting your old fingers in such a 
 manner that you would sooner be a plaintiff or de-
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 7 
 
 fendant in a chancery suit, than a hot old Queen's 
 Counsel as you are at this moment. 
 
 My mind is made up at once. The devil is at my 
 elbow immediately, and assists me in imagining that 
 my case will be sure not to come on, and I tell my 
 clerks, with as guilty a look as ever convalescent 
 schoolboy put on when pleading a bad head-ache, 
 that possibly I may be detained at the " consulta- 
 tion" and shall not be back. 
 
 Now my clerk is an old stager, and quite 'cute 
 enough to know that I generally have a week of long 
 consultations about the beginning of August, and 
 no sooner am I well out of the purlieus of Lincoln's 
 Inn, in a hansom (the driver of which is steering 
 direct for Lord's), than Parchment, the best of clerks 
 when sober, and never quarrelsome when drunk, 
 attends a consultation on his own account with his 
 cara sposa in Greenwich Park, and no doubt ex- 
 plains to her that the "governor is always cutting 
 away for the school matches in August."
 
 8 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 There is great excitement at Lord's a large row 
 of cabs and omnibuses, which have set down their 
 fares, are drawn up outside the ground, and the 
 drivers and their friends are standing on the roofs of 
 the different vehicles, thereby disobeying the Police 
 regulations, and defrauding Mr. Dark of the admis- 
 sion money to the ground. Never mind that, we 
 shall meet plenty of people inside. 
 
 It is about eleven o' clock, and the match has not 
 yet begun. The different players are practising 
 previous to the match. 
 
 It is easy to distinguish the different schools, from 
 some peculiarity of dress : either there is an uniform 
 cap, or else some curious style of shirt, or some 
 other badge which denotes where they are "raised," 
 as brother Jonathan says. 
 
 The preliminary practice is something like the 
 canter before a race. There is a little group round 
 every wicket, discussing the merits of the different 
 styles of course there are twenty amateur longstops
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 9 
 
 who are indefatigable in attempting to be useful, 
 the result of which is, that the first always lets the 
 ball by, and the others are planted so closely toge- 
 ther that they get wounded in succession as the ball 
 comes on. Altogether, looking on is a dangerous 
 amusement. 
 
 If you look to the left towards the public-house, 
 you will see an elderly gentleman in silver spectacles 
 with a large green umbrella under his arm. He is 
 minutely describing a match he played in when a 
 boy, in which the late bishop of Orthodox (then 
 also a boy), bowled the whole side out for twelve 
 runs. 
 
 Good Heavens, what is the matter? the old 
 gentleman suddenly jumps as if he was shot, and 
 commences rubbing his back in a manner quite 
 melancholy to behold. The cause is easily ex- 
 plained ; he has been unconsciously standing " short 
 leg" to one, and " long leg" to two wickets, to 
 say nothing of being "point" middle "off" and
 
 10 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 "cover" to three others, and has just stopped 
 what would, in a match, have been a four at 
 least, with the small of his back; and no doubt, 
 if the truth was known, his wife was obliged to 
 brown-paper and vinegar him no end when he 
 got home. 
 
 Poor old gentleman ! it is ludicrous to watch the 
 varying expression of his face, for the blow would 
 have hurt the Hippopotamus, but it is even more 
 ludicrous to see the wrath beginning to boil, 
 as the culprit who has hit him, quietly calls out, 
 " Thank you, Ball ! here, thank you, throw her up, 
 sir/' being quite unconscious how the ball was 
 stopped, as it was a leg-hit, and consequently he 
 and the old gentleman were standing dos-d-dos. 
 
 All of a sudden the bell from the Pavilion strikes 
 up, and the ground is gradually cleared ; not with- 
 out some expostulation with those always-to-be-found 
 loiterers who will just have one more ball, and who 
 linger to the last.
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 11 
 
 Let us walk up to the Pavilion and meet our 
 friends. A little betting is going on but mostly 
 at evens, and a small circle is collecting round the 
 captain of one of the elevens who is waiting to toss 
 for first innings. The minutes seem hours now. 
 At last down comes the other captain and up goes 
 the shilling " Heads ! " " Heads it is, by jingo ! 
 we go in/' says the winner of the toss. 
 
 " That 's worth twenty runs/' exclaims one of 
 the "Ins" 
 
 " Not a bit of it/' says one of the " Outs." " It 
 will rain this afternoon, and your fellows will have 
 to watch out in the wet, and the balls won't rise." 
 
 " Nor will the hard hits tell, my boy, so don't 
 you flatter yourself on that score." 
 
 And now the ground is well clear. The " Outs " 
 are coming in a body down the Pavilion steps, and 
 the captain is giving a few hints to some of the 
 youngsters who have not been up before, and 
 instilling no end of advice about " backing up "
 
 12 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 and overthrows, and we catch the words (which, as 
 Captain Cuttle observes, " when found, make a note 
 of"), "Whatever you do, throw up full from the 
 uphill side and never trust the bound " 
 
 The ground is in beautiful order. Between the 
 wickets the turf is as smooth as a billiard-table, with 
 just enough side-slope to help a clever bowler. The 
 creases are so white and fresh, and the ground alto- 
 gether looks so ship-shape that it seems impossible 
 to bowl a wide ball, or to get bowled out. The sun 
 comes out, like good brandy and water, hot and 
 strong ; and the " Outs/' in their clean flannels, 
 dotted about, make up as pretty a picture as any 
 cricketer would wish to look upon. 
 
 And now the umpires begin to cry " Man in," and 
 the first pair leave the Pavilion. One is an old 
 stager who has seen two seasons, the other is a 
 first year man, as you can tell by his sporting a very 
 smart new cap for the occasion, and, on the whole, 
 the get-up is more extensive than his co-adjutor's.
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 13 
 
 And now they are taking guard, and the com- 
 ments are beginning amongst the lookers-on. 
 
 " Is that a good man in the red cap ? " 
 
 " Not certain at all, but very quick at his runs, if 
 he does get them. The other is a beggar to stick." 
 
 And now Straps, the " beggar to stick," is having 
 the first ball. The bowler is a little-un, but a good 
 bowler for all that. The first ball is well pitched and 
 comes in a rattler to the middle stump. 
 
 " Well stopped," comes from a corner. 
 
 " Don't cheer him," says the captain, " it will only 
 make him nervous." 
 
 The first over is maiden and every one is satisfied. 
 The " Outs " are pleased at the steady pace, and the 
 " Ins " are equally pleased with the steady batting. 
 
 Now comes our friend with the smart cap. It is 
 his turn now. 
 
 The bowler at the end opposite the Pavilion is tall, 
 and wiry, and very quick in delivery. The half 
 round, half under hand his first ball comes up
 
 14 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 like a shot and takes Ked-cap rather by surprise, 
 who plays at it in very pretty style, one second 
 after it has just passed over the bails. 
 
 The wicket-keeper puts up his hands and a shrill 
 whistle is heard from those who are in the line with 
 the wicket, which is a signal for loud cries of " Well 
 bowled," " bowled/' " bowl-ed," in every variety of 
 tenor and bass. 
 
 Little Trump, a small junior, who has persuaded 
 his grandmother that his teeth must be looked at, 
 and has thereby managed to get to town to see the 
 matches, screams out, " Well played at," in defiance 
 of the cheering of the " Outs " whereat there is a 
 roar of laughter, and little Trump, quite innocent 
 that he has caused the laugh, screams out again, 
 " Well played at" 
 
 Little Trump has come up viciously inclined, under 
 the charge of Baggs, the family butler, who has 
 already twice caught his frottg6 ordering brandy 
 and water, which he has compromised by ginger
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 15 
 
 beer. He wants to see the matches played in a hos- 
 tile spirit, like some football matches are occasion- 
 ally, (as I can well attest, or rather " testibus meis 
 cruribus " if crura means " shins " (and my shins, 
 after an interval of many years, are still handsomely 
 scarred with honorable wounds, which I hope to 
 carry to my grave), and he has no idea of a match 
 between two schools being anything but a battle 
 royal and no quarter given. 
 
 The cries of " well bowled " and the innate feel- 
 ing of being almost out has frightened Red-cap, and 
 before he has recovered, the next ball has pitched 
 straight to the inner stump and twisted to the off 
 stump, which it must inevitably floor unless Red-cap 
 does something. 
 
 Being in a mortal funk he lashes at it in despair, 
 and fortunately hits just low enough to send it over 
 long slip's head. Never mind, it scores four at any 
 rate, which is duly announced by the shouts of his 
 party.
 
 16 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 " What a lucky devil I" says one ; " he never saw 
 the ball." "Never mind," says an old hand, 
 "he won't trouble us much longer, he '11 be out 
 directly." 
 
 However, ball No. 3 is an off long hop, and Red- 
 cap hits it well for three, which he deserves this 
 time, and as no mischief is done that over by 
 the last ball, he gets the first ball of the next. 
 
 The slow bowling bothers him; he stops three 
 balls running, and makes a dash at the fourth but 
 overreaches himself, and lifts his leg off his ground, 
 one half second before the wicket is neatly put 
 down. An appeal to the umpire, and up goes the 
 ball. Well, it is a good match so far seven runs 
 and one wicket is good for both sides. 
 
 And now comes another " colt," who is making 
 his first appearance, so we will christen him " Colt." 
 He looks like a cricketer, thick-set and well put 
 together, with a free use of his arms. See how 
 straight he holds his bat, and how quick he hits the
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 17 
 
 first ball round to the leg, which is well picked and 
 thrown in sharp and straight as the first run is 
 finished. He is a special pupil of the captain's, 
 who has incurred some odium for picking him out 
 from the bottom of the school to shine at Lord's. 
 However, those who grumbled most at the captain 
 then are now loudest in his praise, for his judgment 
 was good. 
 
 The play goes on steady and good at all points on 
 both sides. A do/en more runs are put on the 
 paper, which are pretty equally divided between the 
 two in, when " the beggar to stick " plays a leetle 
 bit over a shooter, and rattle go the stumps, nine- 
 teen runs and two wickets down. 
 
 Next comes the event of the Innings. The 
 captain is going in. An old bat, well pegged but 
 very clean, looks like business, and an old cap which 
 witnessed his first triumph, when he scored five-and- 
 twenty, is put on for luck. 
 
 The captain walks leisurely to the wicket, and
 
 18 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 hits wicket-keeper on the back, and says something 
 which makes the field laugh, and then he walks 
 across and shakes hands with the bowler, whom he 
 did not see in the morning, and then takes guard. 
 
 All this goes on to the infinite disgust of our 
 friend little Trump, who whispers mysteriously to 
 old Baggs that " he only hopes the match is not sold, 
 but he has his fears." 
 
 And now we have the young tutor and pupil in 
 together, and probably we shall have a treat, as they 
 understand one another's running well. 
 
 The bowling keeps well up to the mark, and 
 begins to get " killed " a little. 
 
 Fine balls, which ordinary players stop, are placed 
 quietly to the " on " or " off" " for one run. Now 
 comes a fine ball, six inches wide of the off stump ; 
 see how beautifully it is cut to the off between slip 
 and cover all along the ground for four ! " Well 
 done, Colt ! well hit, indeed." One of the " Outs," 
 who is most enthusiastic for his side to win, cannot
 
 
 Q
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 19 
 
 help exclaiming, " Upon my word, it was a splendid 
 hit, and the little fellow deserved it well." 
 
 Runs are being made well and fast now; the 
 bowling has been changed, but it is no go. Forty 
 appears on the telegraph, which is duly applauded 
 by the "Ins." The captain has been playing 
 beautifully, but very steady. At last, a ball a little 
 far pitched comes up so invitingly that it seems to 
 say, " please hit me." Now the captain is only 
 mortal, and he has not only preached steadiness up 
 to this point, but has practised it too, and of course 
 the exception always proves the rule. There is no 
 man in the long field, and he knows it. His mind 
 is made up ; he makes one dash, two steps out of 
 his ground bring him " alongside her " (as a sailor 
 would say), he puts heart and soul into it, and 
 catches hold of a half volley which does a man 
 good to see at the time, and is a pleasant thing to 
 think of any night of your life if you can't get to 
 sleep. 
 
 B 2
 
 20 
 
 Away she goes; a panting figure in flannels, 
 whose cap has tumbled off in the excitement, starts 
 from short leg to the furthest corner of Lord's, 
 where the ball is quietly reposing.. He is growing 
 beautifully less in the distance, as the men keep on 
 running. Four runs already, by Jove ! " Down 
 again!" " Again!" "Five runs." "Now he has 
 her ! " " One more for the throw," and one more is 
 run. It is a fair " sixer." 
 
 Now comes the thunder of the Pavilion : hats are 
 thrown up in the air, and the cheering is tremen- 
 dous. Men well known on Town, and who are 
 supposed to be used-up for any excitement, have 
 cheered till they are hoarse, and can cheer no 
 more. 
 
 Running a sixer is trying for the bellows, so the 
 men In lie down, and the captain of the " Outs" holds 
 a consultation between the overs. Weasel, a small 
 active fellow on the outside, is seen walking alone in 
 deep consultation with the captain, who is giving
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. XL 
 
 him a roving commission to move about according 
 as the hitting goes. 
 
 And now the men are breathed, and Colt has 
 made a three, which has given the captain the ball 
 again. 
 
 The ball is at the end opposite the Pavilion, and 
 up comes a regular good leg-ball to hit. The 
 captain is well warmed to his work, and the sixer 
 has given him extra pluck. The ball rises rather 
 high, but he catches well hold of it, though he is 
 obliged to lift it ; up she goes, one of those 
 tremendous leg-hits which make the ball look like 
 a balloon going out of sight. Again comes the 
 thunder of the Pavilion. 
 
 The " Outs " are getting quite angry. " Why 
 the deuce do they let that fellow go on bowling !" 
 exclaims one. 
 
 " I suppose they want to lose the match," says 
 another.
 
 22 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 Whilst they are running the first run, and this 
 brief conversation is held, something white is seen 
 skimming over the ground like a shadow. It is 
 little Weasel, who being a regular scion of the " Nil 
 desperandum" school, has started after the ball, 
 being somewhere in the neighbourhood, on the bare 
 chance of getting under it. They are running the 
 second, when a regular storm of cheers breaks out 
 from the corner where the "Outs" are sitting. 
 Little Weasel has just been able to reach the ball 
 with his hands at full stretch, and has held it like 
 a vice. 
 
 A general rush is made after little Weasel, who is 
 being led out in triumph, by players and non- 
 players. I am afraid his back will be very sore to- 
 morrow ; for being patted hard and frequently on 
 the back by enthusiasts, who forget that a thin 
 silk Jersey is a poor protection against a hard fist, 
 must be a very painful operation.
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 23 
 
 And now the " Ins " have duly cheered the cap- 
 tain into the Pavilion, and there are fifty-two runs 
 on the telegraph, including byes and wide balls. 
 
 Let me be " Asmodeus " for a moment, and show 
 a few of the prophets how true their prophecies are. 
 
 Come hither, ye learned tutors, who have so often 
 predicted that little Weasel will bring down his 
 father's gray hairs with sorrow to the grave, be- 
 cause he never could construe a chorus in a Greek 
 play, or get over the " Pons asinorum " in safety. 
 I will admit that Weasel is as bad a hand at Greek 
 play and mathematics as he is good in the long 
 field, which is saying a great deal for him. Now 
 let me show you the old gentleman whose hairs are 
 coming down to the grave in the mournful manner 
 depicted by you. Look here ! 
 
 Little Weasel is being brought in triumph, as I 
 said before, to the bar of the House of Lords (i. e. 
 public house) for some shandy-gaff (forgive me, 
 Etonians, if I have spelt it wrong, for I know that
 
 24 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 is the name you give to the pleasant compound of 
 ginger-beer and ale). Every one is crowding round 
 little Weasel, patting him on the back, which 
 is already sore, and testifying their delight in 
 various ways, when a jolly elderly gentleman, portly 
 as to his corporation, clerical as to his appearance, 
 and brimming over with excitement, runs up and 
 catches the villain Weasel, who is going to bring 
 down his father's gray hairs, &c., &c., by both hands. 
 " Damned fine catch, Jack, upon my word ; it 
 did me good, my boy." Poor old Mr. Weasel ! in 
 his excitement, the first adjective slipped out, per- 
 haps the first time for years and years, since he had 
 been a hair-brained young man. If Mr. Weasel had 
 time for consideration that he had been thirty years 
 in the Church and had reproved his son for swearing 
 only a week before, he would not have allowed the 
 word to come up, but it came out quite accidentally 
 in the fulness of joy at seeing his boy so much 
 praised and flattered, and although every one
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 25 
 
 laughed, young Weasel will never remind him of it 
 again ; and if he ever does the same thing himself 
 another time and his father reproves him for it, he 
 is too much of a gentleman, and too good a son, to 
 say, " Well, sir, didn't you do the same at Lord's." 
 
 And now let us look round the ground, and, being 
 at the public, let us go in and have some bitter beer 
 or shandy-gaff, and get a light for our cigar if we 
 smoke, and if we don't smoke, why let us leave it 
 alone. 
 
 It is a pleasant sight to see a whole family and 
 various assistants drawing bitter beer as fast as they 
 can, and not being able to draw it fast enough then 
 (for bitter beer is a harmless beverage), and plates 
 of sandwiches disappearing as fast as they can be 
 cut, and every vacancy near the bar being filled not 
 with lounging sots, but young fellows in the fresh- 
 ness of life, as hungry as hunters, eating because 
 they are hungry and drinking because they are 
 dry, after the good old rule.
 
 28 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 unanimously agree that there were marks of the 
 birch still upon him (for he has only left school six 
 months), still I am credibly informed by the major 
 that he has already learnt to drop his " Rs " in 
 conversation, and smokes the largest cigars of any 
 man in the corps, and I regret to add he not only 
 is more or less intoxicated at mess every night, but 
 he takes less sleep than any man in the regiment. 
 Look at little Startup now ; he has a cigar in his 
 mouth which looks like a handspike to turn his 
 head round with. If you catch his profile dead in 
 the sun, you will perceive a substance very like 
 goose-down coming on his upper lip. Observe how 
 Startup clings to the oldsters like Flashman, men 
 with bushy moustaches, and seems in a dread of 
 being familiarly recognised by his schoolfellows. 
 Never mind, Startup, we will forgive you a little 
 pardonable vanity at beginning the world so young, 
 and some day you will be older and wiser like the 
 rest.
 
 Ctn<t m for 
 J v
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 29 
 
 Let us sit down here and we will continue our 
 walk presently, as the next man is going in. He 
 has been up before and played well, but he has 
 fallen off sadly. However, he takes guard enough 
 for six men, and walks forward, and picks up a tuft 
 of grass in front of the wicket, and has a butcher 
 removed from behind the bowler, whom he asserts is 
 in his light ; and having done all this, he puts him- 
 self into a very pretty attitude, and plays in what 
 he considers neat style to the first ball. As he 
 played really well to a ball which would have taken 
 the off stump, it is quite a pity that the ball 
 worked from the on to the leg stump, for " click " 
 go the bails, and out comes our friend with the 
 pretty attitude. 
 
 The Outs are getting in good spirits again now, 
 and some of them are prophesying that Swiper will 
 get the fifty-two " off his own bat." 
 
 Another Colt comes in, whom we must call New- 
 man. He is of a different style from any we have
 
 30 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 seen yet ; his principal forte is fielding, in which he 
 shines wonderfully, being one of the best " cover 
 points " going. He commences with a fourer to the 
 off, and puts another round the leg for the same 
 number, and is missed being stumped last ball of 
 the over, whereat he laughs at the wicket-keeper, 
 who is highly indignant, and rather angry. 
 
 Little Colt is beautifully caught by point, and 
 five wickets are down for sixty runs. 
 
 " This is better than three wickets for fifty-two/' 
 observe the backers of the " Outs." 
 
 " I '11 lay an even hundred/' cries little Startup, 
 "we win now." Nobody takes the bet, so it falls 
 to the ground. 
 
 A sixth man is Dasher, another hard hitter. 
 Everybody knows when Dasher and New-man do 
 get well in together, there will be mischief; and so 
 it is to-day. Threes, fours, and fives are going like 
 hail. The cheers and countercheers are loud and 
 frequent. Every one is getting excited ; and after
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 31 
 
 a shooter has laid low Dasher's stumps, ninety- 
 seven are scored. 
 
 Next comes Cautious, who has no cricket in him 
 at all, but having been once picked up on the 
 ground to make an eleventh man, he has played 
 since. He commences well by giving a chance to 
 short slip, which is missed, and having succeeded so 
 far, he calls New-man to run, and after he has 
 started, cries " go back," and gets him run out 
 immediately. 
 
 New-man, however, takes it very good humour- 
 edly, considering all things, and gets into the 
 Pavilion just in time to hear blessings of a very 
 questionable nature invoked on the head of 
 Cautious. 
 
 Now comes the eighth man, Steady, a player with- 
 out the least show, but very good for six or eight 
 runs when wanted most. He gets a pretty two on 
 the off side, followed by a drive straight forward for 
 three, which Cautious will try and make four of,
 
 32 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 and succeeds in getting himself run out this time, 
 to the great delight of both sides. Eight wickets 
 and 108 runs. 
 
 Doubtful takes his place and goes steadily to 
 work, and scores seven, when the wicket-keeper 
 catches him, and lastly comes Boundarm, the 
 
 bowler. 
 
 The first innings is finished in a flare-up like a 
 
 rocket. The first ball Roundarm receives is a 
 ripping ball to the off stump, which he hits round 
 to the on for five, to the delight and amusement of 
 the "Ins." Steady gets one more, and Roundarm has 
 a trimmer to the middle stump, which he lashes at 
 with all his might, and sends it up as straight as an 
 arrow. It is doubtful whether point, wicket-keeper, 
 or bowler will go for it, as it is within reach of all, 
 and the chances are they will all clash together. 
 However, the bowler sings out " I have her," and 
 when the second run is commenced, the ball comes 
 straight into his hands.
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 33 
 
 Steady is " not out," and now let us go to 
 Lillywhite's booth and get a " true and correct 
 score to the end of the first innings." 
 
 What says the card ? 127 runs first innings a 
 very good score too; but thete is no reason why 
 the " Outs" should not pick them up, and head 
 them as well, if they go to work with a will. 
 
 And now we must take a little licence, and 
 suppose the game to be going on steadily for the 
 rest of the afternoon, and half the next morning, 
 and that the "Outs" have come within nine runs 
 of the " Ins," and the reader shall suit his fancy 
 whether they have headed them by nine, or are 
 nine behind (just as you please, my little dears), 
 and we must also suppose that the "Ins" have gone 
 in again, and that Cautious, to the surprise of every 
 one, scored twenty runs, and did not run any one 
 out, and that the captain hit his own wicket after 
 making seven runs, to the surprise of every one 
 
 c
 
 34 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 too; aud the result is, that the "Outs" have to 
 go in for eighty-seven to tie, and eighty-eight to 
 win and whilst this is all going on we will walk 
 round the ground, and look at the company, and 
 see our old friends.
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 35 
 
 ROUND THE GROUND. 
 
 WE were sitting by little Startup, I think, last. 
 Look at this fellow coming up to him. You know, 
 (I can't say gentle) cricketing reader, that I am 
 Asmodeus and showing you round; what can the 
 man be, who is just saying, " Good morning, 
 Cap'en ; I wanted to see you about my colours." 
 The individual in question may have once been 
 blessed with the human face divine ; but being 
 patched with diachylon plaister all over and na- 
 turally bad of its kind, it resembles the face 
 diabolical. It is the Slashing Butcher, to be 
 sure, who prevailed on little Startup to take 
 
 c 2
 
 36 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 colours for his fight with the Nailer, on the 
 usual terms, and who is now exhorting Startup 
 to pay a guinea for his colours although he 
 lost. " You know, Cap'en, I did all that a brave 
 man could do to win, and I am hard up now." 
 Startup hands him a sovereign, and expresses 
 himself in strong language about the Slashing 
 Butcher's conduct at the same time, and passes 
 anything but a compliment on his eyes. Startup 
 was amongst the Corinthians at the fight, in a 
 truss of straw, next to Jem Bunn, and in spite 
 of Jem Bunn's remonstrances and advice, dropped 
 no end of money on the Butcher. Stick to 
 fighting, Butcher, my boy, there is a fool born 
 every hour, and you may make your money in 
 the ring yet. 
 
 Who is this sitting on the Pavilion steps ? 
 Johnson, as I am a sinner ! 
 
 Johnson is perfectly happy as usual ; he never 
 was anything else yet as long as I knew him.
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 37 
 
 He is smoking a cigar and talking to anybody 
 and everybody. He has no secrets never had 
 any, in fact. He has tried three professions, 
 and is now in none, though he is thirty years 
 of age. 
 
 " I was in the governor's office first, sir," he 
 says, " when one unlucky day the marker sent a 
 boy in to know ' if Mr. Johnson would come 
 and try the cues before the match/ The boy, 
 knowing no better, takes the message to the 
 governor, who sends word he will be there in an 
 hour or two. He comes, true to his word, and 
 walks into the Billiard-room, just as I was taking 
 the odds against the double hazard. In fact I was 
 playing a match for ten pounds a side, and I fear 
 the company was more numerous than select, as 
 my opponent was a sporting glazier. Of course 
 the governor and I fell out at once, and it ended 
 in my being in the army. 
 
 "No sooner, sir, had I just begun to be comfort-
 
 38 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 able than we were ordered to the "West Indies, and 
 no exchange allowed. My liver being naturally bad, 
 I thought my country would not have compelled 
 me to go there at five shillings and sixpence a day, 
 to get it broiled for that trifling remuneration. 
 My country thought different, and, as I would as 
 soon have sat on the gridiron for half the money at 
 home, as live in the Tropics, why we parted. Then, 
 sir, a public office did not quite come up to my 
 views of comfort, and I left that, and the thing 
 which suits me best of all is sitting on these very 
 steps, and smoking this very cigar, so let us be 
 happy whilst we can ; but, as I am sinner, there 
 is old 'Tommy' looking drier than ever; I must 
 go and bonnet him." 
 
 The "Tommy" alluded to is Thompson, formerly 
 the inseparable companion of Johnson, though their 
 characters are exactly opposite in everything. How 
 Thompson has appeared, nobody can tell. He is 
 a quiet country curate in Cornwall (with a wife
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 39 
 
 and large family, of course), and the only other 
 occasion of his appearance in London was a few 
 years ago, when he came to town outside the 
 coach and by second-class railway all the way, 
 in wretched weather, to hear the decision in 
 " Gorham and the Bishop of Exeter," with which 
 he expressed himself highly delighted, and returned 
 as soon as it was over. 
 
 Thompson was the quietest hard-working boy 
 ever seen, and plodded on perseveringly at Latin 
 verses, which were never known to have a false 
 quantity, and were always more like a prose than 
 a verse task when they were done, and which were 
 invariably indorsed by the tutor "Very careful, 
 but not poetical. 5 ' Johnson was a hare-brained 
 scamp, who could have done anything he put his 
 hand to; but was too idle to work. He was 
 always in scrapes and always listening attentively 
 to Thompson's advice, at the end of which he 
 invariably called him an "old Booby," and
 
 40 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 hit him in the wind. Still they were sworn 
 friends. 
 
 Johnson has not seen him for seven or eight years, 
 but still he cannot resist tipping his hat over his 
 eyes, and saying, "Well, Tommy, old boy, how 
 are you ? " Thompson beams through his spec- 
 tacles, and is rather astonished at first, but directly 
 he sees who it is, he is as pleased as a child, and 
 Johnson on the spot asks him to come and 
 dine at his hotel. 
 
 " Thank you," says Thompson, " I am staying 
 with my cousin the Special Pleader in the Temple, 
 and his laundress kindly said she would get me 
 a mutton-chop with my tea." 
 
 " Damn the mutton and tea," says Johnson ; 
 "come to the Old Hummums with me when 
 this is over." 
 
 Poor Thompson winces a little at the anathema 
 pronounced at the innocent refreshment men- 
 tioned by him, but he knows Johnson would
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 41 
 
 not have said it to him if he thought for a 
 moment. 
 
 Accordingly Johnson and Thompson adjourn 
 afterwards to the Hummums, and Johnson ex- 
 plains to Thompson, how many of the popu- 
 lation in London eat and drink in places under 
 ground. 
 
 Thompson, who has been a great promoter of 
 a society for bettering the condition of the labour- 
 ing classes, accepts Johnson's invitation to see some 
 of these poor creatures at supper. I blush to 
 say that Johnson pushes Thompson, through a 
 crowd of tobacco smoke, into the Cider Cellars, 
 in the middle of the comic singer's most un- 
 clerical production. 
 
 Poor Thompson rushes frantically into the fresh 
 air, and conjures Johnson seriously to give up 
 his practical jokes, which Johnson promises to do, 
 but he can hardly resist hitting old Tommy once 
 more in the wind.
 
 42 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 Here is Lord Mummery on the Pavilion steps, 
 whom you see there cheering that last catch, 
 the middle-aged man with the smart boots and 
 white hat. 
 
 Lord Flummery has served with every Adminis- 
 tration that was ever yet formed. He has this 
 morning been closeted for three hours with a man 
 who has been specially sent down to corrupt the 
 whole town of Rottenborough ; but he forgets all 
 about that now, for he is heart and soul in the 
 progress of the match. His next-door neighbour 
 is the Brian Boru, the great Irish agitator, who 
 has threatened over and over again not only to 
 die on the flooor of the house, but to impeach 
 Lord Flummery for all imaginable crimes. How- 
 ever, they are chatting together very comfortably 
 now, for politics have nothing to do with cricket, 
 thank Heaven. 
 
 And now we stumble upon a very stout old 
 gentleman, with rather a flabby face, and who
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 43 
 
 runs to nankeen trousers and massive gold seals. 
 He is old Lobbs, a Croesus in the soap interest, who 
 sent his son to a Public school, to make a gentle- 
 man of him, though I fear the result of the ex- 
 periment was not all that could be desired. 
 
 He informs us that he thinks it right to patronize 
 the " institootion " to which his son belonged, 
 which accounts for his being here to-day (very 
 kind of him, certainly). He also goes on to say, 
 " My son, sir, costs me a deal of money. He and 
 his friend Lord Scamp ran through a bushel of 
 it afterwards at Oxford, a good fellow, though, 
 is Lord Scamp. His Lordship often dined at 
 our 'ouse at Clapham." 
 
 This is quite true, and pretty well old Crossus 
 paid for Lord Scamp's amusement, though his 
 Lordship did once take the Lobbs family to 
 Hampton races in return. He assured me, how- 
 ever, in confidence, that he could never do it again, 
 as he cannot bear to see women gorge themselves,
 
 44 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 and he would back " Lobbs' lot " at cold meat 
 and salad against the field. "And upon ray word, 
 sir," he added, " to see Mother Lobbs worry the 
 claw of lobsters is quite alarming." 
 
 Talk of the devil, he's sure to appear, and we 
 run against Lord Scamp immediately. He is 
 a reckless prodigal fellow, but I am sure he 
 would do you or me a good turn, if he could 
 without hurting himself. I fear he is a little bit 
 of a leg ; for " bandy-legged Jim " the Tout, who 
 has been once transported, and who ought to have 
 been hung twenty times, has this morning sent 
 him the following epistle : 
 " My Lord, 
 
 "A dark-un will pull threw for the Cupp too- 
 day Lay agin the favoritt I see the private 
 triall this mornin his for legs haint worth a 
 dam. Yours respectful. Jim." 
 
 Lord Scamp has this letter in his pocket, and I see 
 him join a man who is square-rigged and violently
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 45 
 
 decked with jewellery. He runs to angles every- 
 where, and cannot move his head in his collars. 
 
 This is young Lobbs, who is not a little pleased 
 to see and be seen with Lord Scamp. 
 
 The proffered invitation to Clapham Common is 
 cordially accepted by his Lordship, as young Lobbs 
 has just taken his Lordship's offer of nine to four 
 in ponies against the favourite. Young Lobbs 
 chuckles inwardly, as he knows they were betting 
 even when he left the City. So young Lobbs is 
 trying to do his friend Lord Scamp, who has done 
 him. Poor pigeon, remain in the kite's claws till I 
 release you, and you will die there. 
 
 Now here must be a man with a heavy 
 banker's account, for he carries a large cotton 
 umbrella on a warm August afternoon. It is 
 Dr. Swamp, the great pluralist. His wife and 
 family are in that comfortable-looking carriage. 
 
 Dr. Swamp is rector in three dioceses and 
 archdeacon in the place where his Prebendal
 
 46 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 Stall is situate, besides being a heavy sinecurist 
 in the Ecclesiastical Court. 
 
 Dr. Swamp has a son playing in the matches, and 
 has come to see him, which goes a long way in his 
 favour. Dr. Swamp had a brother many years in 
 the Cabinet, which accounts for his mighty prefer- 
 ment, and Lord Flummery and his clique, who 
 remember the frequent patronage bestowed on the 
 Doctor, point him out, and exclaim, "What, has 
 not that old fellow eaten himself dead yet ? " 
 
 And here is little Tidy, who is a junior clerk in 
 the office of the Board of Misrule. He is the 
 neatest dresser and fastest youngster of his class in 
 town. He gets into all the best society, is to be 
 met with at all the most recherche fetes, knows 
 more people than any dozen ordinary beings, and 
 nobody knows how he does it, or where he originally 
 sprang from ; nobody knew him at school ; he never 
 spoke of his home, but his address for the holidays 
 was always at my Lord This, or Lady That's ; in
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 47 
 
 fact, he is a mystery. He never had any intimate 
 friend, but every one says, " How d' ye do, Tidy ?" 
 You won't see him talk to any one for five minutes 
 together it is not his way. 
 
 Here is a much more inviting group than any we 
 have seen yet ; it would not make a good picture if 
 anybody sketched it at this moment, as a form full 
 of boys all stretching their necks the same way, and 
 with the same eager expression, and their eyes 
 staring out of their heads, is not quite picturesque. 
 
 Stand still a moment, and if you can draw them 
 one minute hence, why, let Landseer go home and 
 paint signs for public-houses, for his calling is 
 over. You see them all straining their eyes one 
 way. 
 
 Talk about table-moving, indeed ; show me the 
 animal magnetism which can move a form full of 
 boys, throw up a dozen hats into the air, and 
 tumble two or three of them on the ground. I 
 could show it to you, though, if I could be a boy
 
 48 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 again, and lay well hold of one "straight barter" with 
 an old bat I once had, which drove like a racket. 
 However, plenty more can do the same thing now 
 just as well and better, too, than I could, and plenty 
 more will keep on growing up every year, on the 
 same sound principle of " two steps out of your 
 ground, and open your shoulders well." 
 
 Here are a party of a dozen varying from 
 fourteen to eighteen years of age, who are partizans 
 of the side now in (either the " Ins " or the " Outs," 
 I don't care which). After three maiden overs 
 running, the man opposite the Pavilion, being 
 brought up on the principle I recently recom- 
 mended, has taken the two steps and opened his 
 shoulders ; a crash is heard in the Pavilion window, 
 and our twelve friends on the forms have not only 
 thrown up all their hats, but two of them are 
 rolling on the ground with delight, whilst the others 
 have positively thrown up one of the forms, and 
 thereby frightened two horses so much that the ojd
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 49 
 
 dowager in the carriage has her digestion impaired, 
 and is obliged to send for Dr. Latham directly she 
 gets home. 
 
 We must not overlook Mr. Longrobe, Q.C., who 
 is standing by that form. He is a little gray-headed 
 for his age, and was the finest player of his time, 
 but is little known at Lord's, for he never came up 
 when a boy. 
 
 He carried off gold medals and books by the 
 dozen at school, and every honour at Oxford, and 
 is now the leading man at the equity bar. 
 
 He was a cunning fellow as a boy, and never let 
 his mother (an officer's widow) know he could play 
 cricket, for fear she should insist on his going to 
 Lord's, which he knew she could not afford, and he 
 has struggled through everything and won every 
 honour for her sake. 
 
 It was only the other day I saw the old lady 
 with her braided gray hair and handsome face 
 stepping out of the neat dark-green brougham,
 
 50 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES. 
 
 which her son gave her the day he was made a 
 Queen's Counsel, and stealing quietly into the Privy 
 Council to hear him argue the great Indian appeal, 
 upon which millions were depending. 
 
 But .really we are forgetting the second innings of 
 the "Outs."
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 51 
 
 LAST INNINGS. 
 
 THERE are eighty-seven to tie and eighty-eight to 
 win. Now, what shall we bet ? I am ready to back 
 either side for half-a-crown, for, upon my honour, I 
 don't know which is which at the moment I am 
 writing this, and when the chances are even, I shall 
 toss up who are to be the winners, the " Ins " or the 
 " Outs ; " so we shall be sure to have a good match, 
 as it will be the " glorious uncertainty " of cricket. 
 
 The play of the " Ins" throughout was very steady 
 on the whole, and so was the play of the " Outs " in 
 their first innings ; but the hitting of the " Ins " was 
 more furious than in the first innings, as it usually 
 is, somehow, as the match draws to a close. 
 
 The bell has rung, however, and the ground is 
 cleared again, and as we were looking at the com- 
 
 D 2
 
 52 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 pany when the " Outs " were iu before, we must go 
 through the innings now. 
 
 The " Ins " have one very steady bowler, and one 
 very variable left-handed man, who sometimes is 
 very straight, and sometimes very wide. 
 
 Every one is on the move. A general restlessness 
 pervades the assembled multitude, and every one is 
 ready to say, " Of course we shall win," and no 
 one is ready to answer, " Oh, yes, quite safe/' 
 
 The man last out on the " Outs" side brought out 
 his bat for twelve runs beautifully obtained. He 
 goes in first with Slasher. Slasher has first ball, a 
 good one of its kind, too. He reaches well forward 
 to it, and puts it quietly down to the gate for four. 
 The cheering is general. The next ball is a very 
 loose leg long hop, which he literally " murders " 
 for five, amidst the most tremendous applause. 
 Nine runs in two balls! 
 
 His colleague gets the third ball of the over. 
 The "Outs" are all triumphant, and declared he
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 53 
 
 would have scored fifty if the other man had 
 not been out, and on the whole their minds are 
 relieved, as they have not much faith in Slasher 
 to a good over. The third ball comes up a regular 
 ripper, and the middle stump is split clean in the 
 middle. "Sic transit gloria mundi!" 
 
 Of course the cheering of the "Ins" is equal 
 to the applause bestowed on the hitting of 
 Slasher. 
 
 Swamp comes next. He scored nine in the first 
 innings and is coming in for them now all con- 
 fidence, with his bat over his shoulder. 
 
 His guard is all right and his mind is made 
 up for a four or five if possible. 
 
 Just look at Swamp; his left leg well forward, 
 shoulders open, and everything ready for mischief. 
 I never saw a man hit harder at a leg ball; 
 but it is a pity he missed it, for his legs are 
 so awfully padded, that the ball has run off 
 his pads into the wicket, and, dear me, the bail
 
 54 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 has fallen, so put it on again, Umpire, while 
 another man is coming in. 
 
 Swamp has gone out so easily that we don't 
 observe it till we see him stamp and walk away. 
 And now the "Ins" are indeed uproarious. Two 
 wickets the first over and nine runs; the shouting 
 may be heard any distance almost. 
 
 Little Trump is quite frantic, and Baggs, the 
 stout butler, has allowed him to order a glass of 
 brandy and water now, though Baggs has drunk 
 three parts of it first and filled it up again. Weak 
 as is the brandy and water, it is working already, 
 and little Trump is swearing the "Outs" are 
 the greatest set of muffs he ever saw. 
 
 And now comes Sticker, a very awkward cus- 
 tomer. In vain does Leftarm pitch up a whole 
 over of half volleys in the hopes of a catch. In 
 vain does the other bowler drop them short, and put 
 point close in for a catch. Sticker gets his runs by 
 quiet little pokes one at a time, whilst Slasher
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 55 
 
 is varying the play with a magnificent hit every 
 now and then, and the score is creeping up very 
 dangerous indeed. 
 
 At last Slasher lays hold of a straightforward 
 hit, which must inevitably kill "long off" or else 
 score a sixer, and "long off," having a regard for 
 his life, and a considerable interest in the game, 
 saves himself being cut over in his bloom by 
 catching him out, not, however, before forty runs 
 have been placed on the paper. 
 
 Three wickets for forty runs looks very nasty 
 for the " Ins," and bets are freely offered of five 
 and six to four on the " Outs." 
 
 The captain comes next and commences with 
 one to the on, and Sticker gets two (for a wonder) 
 in the same place, which so invigorates him that 
 he hits at the next ball, but, forgetting that his 
 guard is within a foot and a half of his wicket, 
 he unfortunately knocks over all the three stumps, 
 at the same moment that he hits the ball. Another
 
 56 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 wicket down, and only three more added to the 
 score. 
 
 And now comes Rash, a very good hand in 
 practice, but very dangerous to be in with. He 
 plays the first ball very well indeed to cover, 
 starts to run at once without waiting for his 
 partner, and of course has his wicket put down, 
 as he well deserves, and walks up to the Pavilion 
 cursing his luck, and maintaining that it was an 
 easy run and no fault of his. 
 
 Half the wickets down and not half the runs 
 got, looks very bad this turn for the " Outs." 
 The captain is quite impatient, and halloos out 
 for Swiper to come in. This makes the "Outs" 
 more impatient still, as they all know when the 
 captain sends for " Swiper" that he looks on 
 things as desperate. 
 
 Swiper goes in without pads or gloves. He is 
 a fine broad-shouldered fellow with a quick eye, 
 and one of the best fighters, runners, and jumpers
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 57 
 
 in the school, and a general favourite too. The 
 "Outs" always cheer Swiper more than any one 
 else, and as he is walking to the wicket a shrill voice 
 is heard, "Pitch into them, Swiper, remember your 
 ancestors." The worst piece of advice comes from 
 an old player " Steady, Swiper." He might as 
 well have cried steady to a vessel in the middle of 
 the Atlantic. 
 
 The captain has the ball now and scores two 
 twos and a three, and gets the "over" again, 
 when they run a bye, and S wiper's turn comes. 
 The first hit is for four, and the " Outs" are noisy; 
 the next ball is missed, and the enthusiasts cry 
 " well hit at," which provokes a laugh, and the 
 last ball of the over is a beautiful hit in the long 
 field for four more. 
 
 S wiper's friends are all up in the stirrups again ; 
 they will back him for anything and everything, at 
 any odds you please. 
 
 The captain goes to work again, and gets two
 
 58 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 more twos and a three steadily and well, and 
 gets the first ball of the next over, which just 
 lifts off his bails. It is awful work. Sixty-nine 
 runs and six wickets down; anybody's match, by 
 jingo ! 
 
 The seventh man comes and plays the first ball 
 well down, and just grazes the second with his bat 
 high enough to go over wicket-keeper's head, but 
 Longstop makes a tremendous rush, and just reaches 
 it with his left hand. 
 
 And now comes the tug of war. 
 
 Cricketing reader, we will have fair play ; I put 
 down my pen to take a shilling out of my pocket. 
 I am now going to toss, and, upon my honour, you 
 shall have it " all square." I shall cry " heads " for 
 the " Ins," " tails " for the " Outs," and according 
 as it comes down, the match shall be decided. I 
 have just tossed, and I am only sorry that no Eton 
 or Harrow man was present to see fair play, if he 
 fancies either side in particular ; but if you will go
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 59 
 
 on to the end, you shall know who wins, and how 
 the shilling fell. 
 
 As I told you just now, there are eighteen runs to 
 win and three wickets to go down : Swiper has the 
 ball; now, if there is one ball which Swiper hits 
 harder than any other, it is an on long hop rather 
 wide to the leg, and as fate would have it, up comes 
 the very ball of all others he likes best. He rushes 
 at it like a lion, puts his whole strength and swing 
 into it, and puts it right over the Tennis Court. 
 Bedlam turned loose would not make half the noise 
 that the " Outs " do at this triumphant feat. Startup 
 has jumped clean out of his cab, and shaken hands 
 violently with all those of his cotemporaries he so 
 studiously wished to avoid ; he forgets the mess and 
 the big cab-horse, and his grand epaulettes, and all 
 that, and for the first time thoroughly enjoys him- 
 self. 
 
 " Two more of those will win the match," yells 
 Startup, quite frantic.
 
 60 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 " And two more of those will win us the match/' 
 cries little Trump, in defiance of the smoking dra- 
 goon, as the next ball, a leg shooter, floors S wiper's 
 stumps. 
 
 Our spirits are up and down like a thermometer ; 
 the " Ins " are quite as riotous as the " Outs " were 
 two minutes ago. 
 
 The ninth man, who would have gone in as cool 
 as a cucumber if Swiper had laid hold of one more 
 sixer, looks like a large aspen leaf on two legs; 
 you can see his bat shaking from here. How- 
 ever, he scores a nervous two, and then stands 
 right before his wicket without knowing it, and 
 goes out as palpably " leg before wicket," as ever 
 was seen. 
 
 There are nine runs to win and the last man in. 
 The " longstop," poor fellow, who has done wonders 
 up to this point, and got no thanks for it, lets a bye 
 for two, and is anathematized by his party on the 
 spot.
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 61 
 
 The bowlers are frightfully nervous, and the 
 field don't look happy. 
 
 The captain's advice to the spes gregis, who can't 
 play the least, and who was in as longstop : " Hit at 
 'em as hard as you can, if they are not straight, and 
 put your head in the way if they are straight, if you 
 can't do it with your bat." 
 
 Sure enough, the first ball he has is an off long 
 hop. Following the advice studiously, he hits as 
 hard as he can, and lays well hold of the ball. 
 
 The " Outs" instantly cheer, as no doubt he has hit 
 it hard enough for five, and so he had, too, if Strap, 
 the leeriest of " points " ever known, had not made 
 a dive at the ball as it flew by him, and caught it 
 with one hand. 
 
 The match is over, and the "Ins" have won by seven 
 runs. Here they are all rushing up to the Pavilion, 
 half mad with joy, whooping like red Indians. And 
 here is a noble fellow coming down the steps, to be 
 the first to shake hands with the captain of the
 
 62 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES, 
 
 winning side. It is the captain of the " Outs," who 
 have just lost, and his congratulations are the first 
 which fall on the ear of his more fortunate rival. 
 
 The shilling fell "heads," as I am a man, I 
 declare it was the fact, and hence the victory to the 
 " Ins." We have all won, so let us all throw up our 
 hats, and give three cheers for everybody. 
 
 And now I must say good bye; but first of all, 
 come here, and let us try and learn a lesson from all 
 this. 
 
 Look at those open-hearted generous boys, Lord 
 Flummery, and ask yourself, when you were one of 
 them, would you have had a hand in the chicanery 
 and perjury which you have set to work at Rotten - 
 borough ? 
 
 And would you, Doctor Swamp, thou ubiquitous 
 ecclesiastic, have sat down to dinner enough for 
 twenty, when you were a boy, and not have given 
 nineteen parts away ? 
 
 And would you, Lord Scamp, have done an
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 63 
 
 underhand action to make sure of winning the toss 
 for your pottle of strawberries or mould of ice at 
 school ? Not a bit of it ; you were all of you once 
 as generous and open-hearted as they are, but the 
 world has spoilt you all, so come up to Lord's and 
 go to school at least once a year, and perhaps it may 
 do you good. 
 
 As for you, Captain Flashman, let us remain as 
 we are ; if we changed places, we should neither of 
 us be so happy as we are now. You would think it 
 an awful bore to go down by the rail to the Derby 
 and bet your half-crown on the race as I do, and I 
 should think it an awful bore to be well known at 
 " the Corner," and have a heavy book. You look a 
 selfish man from the habits you adopt, but I know, 
 old boy, you paid your Serjeant's wife's fare by the 
 coach, that she might take her sick child more com- 
 fortably than by the baggage waggon, when the 
 troops moved, and I know you are a smart officer 
 and liked by the men in the regiment.
 
 64 PUBLIC SCHOOL MATCHES. 
 
 And as for you, young Lobbs, get some of the 
 starch out of your collars, and don't be an ass. 
 
 And now, little Startup, you go to bed earlier, and 
 don't smoke so many of those enormous cigars, and 
 drink less wine at mess, and you remain just as you 
 were when you jumped out of the cab and shook 
 hands with your old friends ; and when your beard 
 is grown a little more, and a few years have passed 
 over your head, I will back you, with a hundred 
 true men by your side, to hold the pass before any 
 number of Sikhs. 
 
 And Johnson, don't you take Thompson into the 
 Cider Cellars any more, for the joke is a little too 
 strong, but otherwise, you are so much like a boy 
 still that you had better remain so, for I like you as 
 you are. 
 
 Chorus of Etonians, Harrovians, and Wykeham- 
 ists. And now, you scribbling rascal, who have just 
 been preaching to us as if you were a parson, what 
 the deuce do you mean by it, eh ?
 
 AND THOSE WE MEET THERE. 65 
 
 Author. Oh, really, gentlemen, I am very sorry, 
 but the fact is, I have not time to play cricket now, 
 and so I dream about it and think about it at all kind 
 of proper and improper times sometimes even in 
 the middle of the sermon, I am afraid and (in 
 desperation) I have written about it at last, and if 
 you bother me, I will do it again. 
 
 Chorus. But who won the match? confound 
 you. 
 
 And Echo answers, " Who?" 
 
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 3 1158 00865 4609 
 
 UC SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILfTY 
 
 A 001340711 9
 
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