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 a? Arizona Cit 
 
 ; JAMES -rA5ELL 
 
 W ^-- ^ y^^-j p 
 
 . NEWS COMPANY 
 
 WESTERN AGENTS 
 
 'MNTEKS 
 
 i, Cal. 
 
CALABAZAS 
 
 OR 
 
 AMUSING RECOLLECTIONS 
 
 OF 
 
 AN ARIZONA "CITY" 
 
 BY 
 
 J.'CABELL BROWN 
 
 ILLUSTRATED WITH ORIGINAL DRAWINGS 
 
 Published by 
 
 VAT.LEAU & PETERSON, PRINTERS AND PUBLISHERS, 
 410 Sansome St., San Francisco. 
 
 Copyright 1892 by J. CABELL BROWN. All Rights Reserved 
 
1(5333 
 
 Bancroft LibrarS 
 
 PREFACE. 
 
 IN picture, poem, and prose has the stranger in the 
 far west been caricatured and ridiculed as the ' ' Ten- 
 derfoot ' ' victim of that dangerous compound of whis- 
 kers, whisky, dynamite, and death known as the 
 "Bad-man." 
 
 To the reader, this book will show that the average 
 , western ' ' Bad-man ' ' is not nearly so dangerous as is 
 the California flea or the Hoboken bed-bug ; that he can 
 use his legs to good advantage in certain contingen- 
 cies, and that his reputation for being phenominally 
 wide awake, is a figment of his brain, or at least exag- 
 gerated. 
 
 Kvery incident herein related was an actual occur- 
 rence, and somewhat similar ones are within the expe- 
 rience of most western pioneers. Should they serve 
 to amuse the reader, the author will have attained his 
 purpose, J. CABEU, BROWN. 
 
 Oakland, CaL, 1892. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 CALABAZAS Its Location, Its Surroundings. Its 
 Rise, Its Industries, Its Society, Its Impres- 
 sive Hospitality, and Why Its People moved 
 to the Line 13-3 7 
 
 THE CALABAZAS KID His Arrival, His Sojourn, 
 His Subjugation, and His Departure for the 
 Line 39~6i 
 
 THE CALABAZAS PRKACHKR His Arrival, His 
 Sermon, His Backsliding, and His Departure 
 for the Line .62-91 
 
 THE CALABAZAS WIDOW She Comes, She In- 
 vests, She Increases Her "Wad," and She 
 Departs for the Line 92-147 
 
 THE CALABAZAS CLUB Its Olympian Games, 
 Mr. Murphy, Mr. O'Connor, and Mr. Riley, 
 and their Departure for the Line. 148-166 
 
 THE CALABAZAS BABY His Parents, Lucky 
 Smith and the Little Woman, His Birth, His 
 Bereavement, and He goes over the Line 168-196 
 
 THE CALABAZAS JUSTICE His Constable, His 
 Troubles, The Final Riot, and His Departure 
 for the Line 197-251 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 CALABAZAS, Frontispiece 12 
 
 THE KID 38 
 
 THE PREACHER HAS A DIFFICULTY 86 
 
 THE ' ' WELLY GOOD MEN ' ' WATCH 
 
 THE "WELLY SICK LADY 112 
 
 MR. MURPHY'S TONSORIAL PARLORS 150 
 
 LUCKY SMITH 168 
 
 THE LITTLE WOMAN "TURNS HER 
 
 TOES UP ON SMITH " 186 
 
 THE FIRST NATURAL DEATH IN CAL- 
 
 ABAZAS, 206 
 
 "AND BEER WAS SENT TO THE LADIES," 232 
 
DEDICATED 
 
 TO A 
 PIONEER OF THE WEST, 
 
 MY 
 
 EvSTEEMED FRIEND, 
 HENRY P. BOWIE, ESQ., 
 
 OF 
 SAN FRANCISCO. 
 
CALABAZAS. 
 
 ITS LOCATION ITS SURROUNDINGS ITS RISK ITS 
 INDUSTRIKS ITS SOCIETY ITS IMPRESSIVE HOS- 
 PITALITY WHY ITS PEOPLE MOVED TO THE LINE. 
 
 IF a person seeking valuable and interesting infor- 
 mation will take a map and pass his finger down the 
 center of Arizona until at a point where the boundary 
 line dividing the United States from Mexico diverges 
 from an east and west direction, to one running north- 
 westerly until it meets the Colorado River, he will see 
 near the diverging point a dot marked, Calabazas 
 [English gourds or squashes.] This dot is the loca- 
 tion, and Calabazas is the name of the town; a town 
 with a short history, it is true ; a history not widely 
 known, but none the less interesting and eventful. 
 By seeking further he will see that it lies at the junc- 
 tion of two railroads on the map that it is on the 
 banks of the Santa Cruz River, and the astonishing 
 additional fact, that the said river has neither source 
 nor outlet. 
 
 Calabazas is, what is left of it, near the head of the 
 
14 CAI<ABAZAS. 
 
 Santa Cruz Valley. At this point the river carried no 
 water excepting after heavy storms. It was just as 
 veil, for the Calabazans, present or prospective, never 
 bathed, and, without exception, were total abstain- 
 ers from water. 
 
 The valley at Calabazas was about a quarter of a mile 
 wide. Opposite the town site a small valley, or caiion 
 debouched, down whose rocky bottom a railroad was 
 being built. To the southwest were seen the moun- 
 tains forming the boundary between Mexico and the 
 United States, between which and the town laid ex- 
 tensive "mesas," or elevated table-lands, that ended 
 in low bluffs overlooking the dry river bed. Haifa 
 mile south of the town a small ridge jutted out from 
 the mesas, almost entirely closing the valley. At the 
 point of this ridge was a dense, green patch of small 
 Cottonwocd trees. Thence to the boundary line ten 
 miles distant, called, through this region, "The Line," 
 are a series of low hills and small valleys. 
 
 The land upon which Calabazas stood was the prop- 
 erty of the Calabazas Land and Mining Company, the 
 town being a newly born child of the same Company. 
 The C. L. & M. Company claimed all the earth from 
 the Mexican boundary to as far north, east, and west 
 as they conveniently or safely could. Unless some 
 one found a mine or spring, there was none to dispute 
 their title, for the land was valueless except in prox- 
 imity to water. A railroad was projected to run from 
 Tucson down the valley. It is still projected. 
 
 Calabazas had for neighbors, Tubac, an ancient 
 aboriginal and Mexican village of not more than thirty 
 people, about twenty miles north, with whom it 
 
CALABAZAS. 15 
 
 had a feud, and Nogales, situated just over the line, 
 consisting of a highly esteemed mescal distillery, and 
 the Mexican Custom House buildings. 
 
 I hope it will not be assumed that Calabazas was an 
 aggregation of iron and stone warehouses filled with 
 luxuries for its inhabitants, or that the hum of its 
 crowded streets was to be heard for miles away, or that 
 the residence streets were lined with shade trees, or 
 that the mansions of the aristocracy were embowered 
 in tropical flowers, or that its society was divided into 
 1 four hundreds. ' Such would be doomed to poignant 
 disappointment. 
 
 Calabazas City, as I found it, consisted of the found- 
 ation of a prospective hotel which was known sarcasti- 
 cally, as the ' ' Hotel Futurity. ' ' A small frame build- 
 ing used as a country store and post office, with that 
 wonderful assortment of cheap and varied wares never 
 seen but in country stores, and a small brick house 
 of two stories, one room to each story, the lower floor 
 of which was used as a saloon, the upper one as 
 the United States Custom House, and residence of the 
 collector of the port and his staff of assistants, all com- 
 prised in the person of one Drinkwater an inspector 
 reporting to the El Paso collector. Attached to this 
 building was a brick " corral" [cattle pen,] having a 
 large gate in front, and also an entrance from the 
 saloon. This corral was used as a stable, a place in 
 which to secure stock during Indian raids, and a fort 
 from which to repulse the raiders. 
 
 The saloon room had a door and window in one of 
 the longer sides facing the road. It was furnished 
 with a dilapidated cook stove, a pine counter, eight 
 
1 6 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 or ten poisonous looking bottles, a few various sized, 
 dirty glasses, a tin quart measure for water, several 
 boxes for seats, and a barkeeper with unkempt hair, 
 stubby beard, and a piratical breath. He was shod 
 with dusty, cowhide boots, into the legs of which were 
 stuffed the bottoms of a pair of faded overalls. He 
 wore a dirty blue flannel shirt, open at the throat, ex- 
 posing an equally dirty skin underneath. His head 
 was covered with an old rust colored felt hat, the brim 
 of which was tilted up behind and pulled down in 
 front, a very fashionable and taking style of wearing 
 the hat in such towns, being a sign occipital that the 
 wearer is not stuck up, and has all the chivalry neces- 
 sary for shooting any enemy he gets the "drop on." 
 A couple of revolvers hung at his waist. The saloon 
 was isolated from the room above by exposed floor 
 joists overlaid with a shrunken, unmatched pine floor. 
 
 The upper room, from which the building took the 
 name of Custom House, was approached by a set of 
 rickety outside stairs, that ended at a landing and 
 door directly over the saloon door. A window in the 
 wall at each gable end admitted light. 
 
 The room was in keeping with our republican sim- 
 plicity. In its center stood a pine table containing 
 one drawer. Upon the table was a dusty ink bottle, 
 two or three rusty pens, a pack of dirty playing cards, 
 a few soiled blank forms, a "Mescal" [Mexican 
 whisky] bottle and a goblet, which, having no foot, 
 was reversed, showing that the user was a person well 
 informed as to the social usage in high-toned clubs on 
 festive occasions. A couple of rough boards, supported 
 by hay rope, hung from the ceiling joists. These 
 
CALABAZAS. 17 
 
 shelves held the library, blanks and records. A num- 
 ber of boxes, used as chairs, stood around the room. 
 A disreputable looking oak chair, with a bottom made 
 from one-half of a barrel head, was the official throne. 
 The official couch, consisting of a very mangy moss 
 mattress and a blanket seedy enough to plant, were 
 rolled together and stood in one corner. 
 
 Hanging on the wall was a large map of Calabazas. 
 Upon it was depicted a flourishing city. Great hotels 
 towered up from the business thoroughfares in black 
 letters. Church steeples pierced the air in blue let- 
 ters. Handsome private residences graced the streets 
 in yellow letters. Palatial public edifices, and monu- 
 ments, surrounded by parks, occupied squares in red 
 letters. Splendid avenues in green letters, and 
 double rows of black lines indicated street railways 
 in shaded letters. 
 
 On the map, Calabazas was many square miles in 
 area, with presumably a large population; whereas the 
 sole street was the stage road from Tucson to Hermo- 
 sillo, Mexico, and five living souls comprised the en- 
 tire white population, Drinkwater, the saloon keeper, 
 the store keeper, Crandall, the land agent, and myself. 
 
 In the suburbs (?) a quarter of a mile away, lived a 
 few Chinese who had been making brick. Their time 
 was now devoted to gambling and cutting railroad 
 ties or cord wood in the adjoining scantily wooded 
 gulches. 
 
 Near the town were scattered a few blasted Cotton - 
 wood trees, leafless and whitened by storm. These 
 answered the purpose of telegraph poles in sudden 
 emergencies, which were not infrequent later. Shal- 
 
1 8 C A I, A BAZAS. 
 
 low wells supplied the little water needed for animals. 
 
 Calabazas bade fair to remain as it was, for it could 
 never possibly live up to that gorgeous map. As a 
 health resort, it would hardly be selected, though no 
 one had ever died there, its citizens were too lazy to 
 draw their last breath. It was a good place in which 
 to take a Turkish bath, for the sun beat down with an 
 intensity unequalled elsewhere; but to perspire in 
 Calabazas was a shocking waste of whisky. Invalids 
 requiring a low diet might have come, if they could 
 have survived the trip they certainly would have 
 found the diet low enough. It might have been uti- 
 lized as a burial place for the millionaire dead. In its 
 climate and alkaline soil the bodies w r ould have been 
 incorruptible, and an incorruptible millionaire, dead 
 or alive, would be worth a pilgrimage to see. 
 
 My arrival, as a permanency, was viewed with much 
 suspicion, until a few days intercourse convinced the 
 older residents that I was not a detective, revenue 
 officer, or a special agent. For a small monthly stip- 
 end paid Drinkwater, I was permitted to call the 
 southeast corner of the Custom House room my bed- 
 chamber, and there roll up in my blankets ; the pack 
 of cards, the table desk and the goblet were at my 
 command. I could quench my eccentric thirst at the 
 saloon * ' olla ' ' [pronounced oya] a porous and cooling 
 unglazed jar used for holding drinking water, or was 
 welcome to draw all the water I chose from the well. 
 Occasionally my own soap and towel were at my ser- 
 vice; I could import mescal from the L,ine, duty free, 
 if I divided equally with Drinkwater, and could bor- 
 row my shaving tools when not in use by my towns- 
 
CAL.ABAZAS. Ig 
 
 men. I could make coffee or tea on the bar-room 
 stove, if enough was made for all hands, and in fact, I 
 was taken to their hearts as one of themselves. The 
 tri-weekly stage, which was a "buck-board," [an 
 Arizona instrument of torture,] brought the mail and 
 stray travelers. 
 
 One morning the deadly dullness of our life was 
 varied by a Mexican, who rushed in to say he had 
 been attacked by Apache Indians who had tried to 
 shoot him with a cannon. Drink water immediately 
 secured his bottle of mescal and bottomless goblet, 
 the corral gates were locked, and citizens, arming 
 themselves, gathered in the saloon to protect it from 
 the wily Apache. 
 
 Several hours passing and no attack, it was consid- 
 ered safe to reconnoitre ; the Mexican stepped out of 
 the door, and as quickly stepped back, saying that the 
 Indians had the cannon pointed at the Custom House. 
 This report made us quite nervous until we reasoned 
 one with another, and decided that conceding the 
 Apache to be a holy terror, ubiquitous, and continu- 
 ally doing impossible things, still it was rather out of 
 the usual course for Indians to pack around a cannon to 
 commit murderous assaults with. We concluded to 
 all go out and take a look ; we did so, and in solid 
 phalanx advanced upon the torrid Apaches, who in 
 thisinstance were surveyors, and the dreaded cannon a 
 theodolite. They certainly looked as dirty as Indians. 
 After a banquet on mescal and cigars from the saloon, 
 we smoked the pipe of peace, and were informed that 
 the laborers were now grading for the railroad down 
 the canon. 
 
20 CAIABAZAS. 
 
 Calabazas soon felt the increased prosperity brought 
 about by the proximity of the railroad builders. Cran- 
 dall had no longer a sinecure, and Drinkwater began 
 wearing paper collars as became a Government official. 
 The stage came laden each trip with settlers, or those 
 having business with the railroad company. Three 
 wideawake and enterprising Chinamen; Cum Sing, 
 Hi Sing, and Lo Sing, purchased a lot next to the 
 Custom House and erected the ' ' Palace Hotel. ' ' 
 The hotel was a large wall tent of cotton duck, floored 
 with rough pine boards and divided into two rooms by 
 a canvas partition. The rear one was the kitchen, 
 and the front the dining-room. The latter was furn- 
 ished with a half-dozen small oilcloth covered tables, 
 having benches on either side. There was one table 
 on which high priced delicacies were served. Around 
 this were set, in Queen Ann style, four common oak 
 chairs. At the earnest request of the aristocracy of 
 the town a private dining saloon was partitioned off 
 in one corner of the large room. The walls of this 
 were of thin cotton cloth secured to the roof with pins 
 and to the floor with tacks. The doors of the hotel 
 were of canvas, locked and barred each night with 
 pins or mesquit thorns. 
 
 Hi Sing and L,o Sing were in charge of the kitchen. 
 Cum Sing was manager, butler, steward, waiter, 
 bouncer, and general utility man, for which he was 
 well fitted, being a large man, and of ingratiating 
 speech. He carried himself very rakishly; gambled, 
 swore and drank whisky like a ' ' Mellican ; ' ' had a 
 contempt for " tender feet, " and was very kind- 
 hearted. 
 
CAI<ABAZAS. 21 
 
 The sleeping and dining room of the hotel was one 
 and the same. Tired customers who had blankets to 
 roll up in, could sleep on the floor free of charge, and 
 they were grateful for the privilege. Barring the 
 hotel cats that secreted themselves or slept during the 
 heat of the day, and confined their rambles and fights, 
 courtships and yowling to the dining room at night, 
 the lodgers slept soundly and were satisfied with the 
 privacy. 
 
 The bill of fare was in keeping with the hotel's 
 general appearance, the locality, and the customs of 
 the country. Flapjacks, and syrup, bacon and frijo- 
 les, pronounced ' ' freholis [beans,] ' ' were staples. Oleo- 
 margarine or ' ' bull-butter' ' was plentiful. The soup 
 abounded in mystery and the hash in artfulness. The 
 bacon had no more lean than is found in whale's 
 blubber. The beans were cooked ' ' en masse ' ' once a 
 week, and warmed up for the daily meals ; should 
 they, during the week, become soured by the warm 
 weather and close imprisonment, their tempers were 
 placated with soda allopathically administered. Many 
 painful experiences were had with these beans after 
 they had been sweetened to the taste, but their other 
 bad qualities not eliminated. It was not Calabazas 
 etiquette to use a knife on the butter, it being more 
 convenient and fashionable to pour it over the bread 
 from a spoon, for the temperature of the hotel was 
 seldom below the boiling point. Milk was to be had 
 from a condensed cow. If the proprietors had a pros- 
 perous week, canned tomatoes assisted in making a 
 ravishing Sunday dinner. In the private room the 
 rarest bric-a brae ironstone ware decorated the tables. 
 
22 CAI^ABAZAS. 
 
 In the large room the service was of tin, which could 
 be readily straightened out after any personal difficulty 
 or encounter between the guests. 
 
 The Palace Hotel was the abode of a fat, haughty, 
 somnolent fly, who, after a short sojourn in our midst, 
 became so discouraged and rancorous that he was for- 
 ever recklessly suiciding in the debilitated soup, the 
 relaxed butter, or the viscid molasses. His body was 
 embalmed in the mustard, and his person enriched the 
 tea and coffee. He ornamented the ceilings, the walls 
 and the tables, in bunches, festoons and wreaths. His 
 constant, unvarying hum was heard by day and by 
 night, above the din of the diners, and above the love 
 songs of the cats ; his eternal buzz assailed the ear un- 
 ceasingly. This species of fly was only possible to 
 Calabazas, an experience with him was an education 
 in cuss words. 
 
 Large wall tents were erected upon the choicer lots 
 adjacent to the Custom House and store; it is hardly 
 necessary to say that these were, without exception, 
 the home of the illusive faro chips and the enlivening 
 whisky. The more aristocratic tents and those in the 
 fashionable part of town, bore such titles as "Rest for 
 the Weary, " " The Golden Fleece, " " The Pantheon, ' ' 
 "The Bank Exchange," or "The Coliseum." Their 
 proprietors wore white shirts, initialed, ivory sleeve 
 buttons, massive oroide watches and chains, and ivory 
 handled pistols and bowie-knives. The owners of 
 these refreshment places and the dealers of their games 
 were the souls of Calabazas honor. They constituted 
 the upper stratum of Calabazas society, and faro chips 
 on their games passed as current coin. 
 
CALABAZAS. 23 
 
 The Calabazas gamblers and saloon men were char- 
 acteristic ones of the far West. They would express 
 unbounded affection for each other one moment, and 
 the very next, in a quarrel over some trivial matter, 
 use one another for targets. Of course the survivor 
 would pay all of the funeral expenses with no nig- 
 gardly hand, and, if possible, employ a brass band to 
 express, with trombone and bass drum, the intensity 
 of his grief over his dead friend. At the funeral he 
 would be chief mourner out on bonds, or in charge 
 of a deputy sheriff and would bemoan the fate that 
 Jack or Bill had brought upon himself by being ' ' too 
 fresh ' ' to reach for, or too slow in drawing his gun 
 from the hip. On one occasion a "Sport," at the 
 risk of his life, saved that of his churn or ' ' Pard. ' ' In 
 talking of the occurrence, the saved friend, unedu- 
 cated save in cards and shooting, said, in blood-curd- 
 ling language, "I haven't never saw anything as 
 nervy as Bill's throwing up Bob's pistol hand." Bill 
 was an educated man, and his ears had audibly cracked 
 at this exhibition of his ' ' Pard's ' ' grammar. He, in a 
 friendly way corrected him. This was taken as offen- 
 sive. To mollify him Bill tried the universal panacea of 
 asking the crowd up to drink, and all accepted but his 
 chum. Bill then asked why he did not drink, make 
 friends or fight. The offended man without a word, 
 gently slapped Bill's face with his finger tips, and both 
 reached for their weapons. As quick as thought two 
 shots were fired, and the ungrammatical man lay dead, 
 while his former friend laid by his side mortally 
 wounded. To be grammatical, in Calabazas, was to 
 covet death. 
 
24 CALABAZAS. 
 
 They had no mercy on the enem}" on whom they 
 fortunately had the "drop," and feared no one but the 
 enemy who unfortunately had the "drop" on them. 
 This "drop" being the unpleasant predicament one 
 was in who, unarmed or unready to shoot during a 
 quarrel, was consequently forced to view the bullets 
 cuddled up in the chambers of his enemy's revolver, 
 well knowing that if the finger on the trigger should 
 be crooked, fatal results would ensue. It was custom- 
 ary for the gentleman having the ' ' drop ' ' to give as a 
 preliminary to the final act, a very farcical rendition, 
 to outsiders, of the intensity of his feelings toward his 
 helpless enemy. For any one to have had the ' ' drop ' ' 
 on them was the cause of many wakeful nights, and 
 the drinking of many cocktails, until the "drop" was 
 returned with interest. 
 
 They detested nothing so much as deception. Should 
 a man call for a drink and have no money with which 
 to pay, it would insure him a bullet or broken head ; 
 yet, if he said he was ' ' broke ' ' and wanted a ' ' bracer ' ' 
 none of the better class would refuse him. They would 
 have felt disgraced in their own estimation did they 
 do so. "Any man was liable to be broke, but let him 
 say so, like a man." 
 
 By some strange anomaly these people could not, 
 unmoved, see human suffering, unless they were 
 angry always a fierce uncontrolled anger nor could 
 they hear of suffering without pecuniarily trying to 
 relieve it. They were a strange compound of whims 
 and fancies, and, under their varying impulses, were 
 capable of the most generous and brave, or the mean- 
 est and most cowardly acts. A church that they 
 
CAUIBAZAS. 25 
 
 would sooner drink water than enter would be amply 
 subscribed for, irrespective of creed ; and public im- 
 provements or holiday celebrations were generously 
 contributed to. 
 
 In New Mexico and Arizona, strange to say, the 
 most deadly ruffians were seldom over twenty-five 
 years of age ; very many not over eighteen or twenty. 
 One that was scarcely twelve years old had quite a 
 reputation, and was responsible for the conduct of two 
 extra heavy revolvers, and a bowie-knife large enough 
 for a hay scythe. Each of these desperadoes had his 
 pistol handle notched for the men actually, or presu- 
 mably killed by its owner. Their instincts were 
 cowardly, and their delight was to abuse women or 
 impose on civil, quiet persons. Upon the fears of 
 such they played, until successful bluffing and contin- 
 ual practice with their recklessly handled weapons, 
 gave them the necessary courage to clinch their, 
 record by assassinating some defenceless person, when 
 assured of escape. 
 
 The generic name for these youths of evil fame, 
 throughout the Territories was ' * Kid. ' ' As Calabazas 
 increased in population, they became nearly as com- 
 mon as the almost equally annoying Calabazas fly. A 
 new comer, to whom the honors were shown, would, 
 at a cost for refreshments of from twenty-five cents to 
 one dollar an acquaintance, be introduced to "New 
 Mexican Kids," "Wyoming Kids," "Arizona Kids," 
 "Colorado Kids," "Texas Kids," and such a variety 
 of other kids, that he would be so bewildered between 
 the effects of vile whisky and the Kid introductions, 
 
26 CALABAZAS. 
 
 as to come to the conclusion that in Calabazas he had 
 struck a human goat ranche. 
 
 The genus "kid" wore his hair long, and in curls 
 upon his shoulder in cow-boy or scout fashion ; had an 
 incipient moustache, and sported a costume made of 
 buckskin ornamented with fringe, tassels, and strings 
 of the same material the dirtier the better. His head 
 was covered with a cow-boy's hat of phenomenal 
 width of brim, having many metal stars, half moons, 
 etc., around the crown. Upon his feet he wore either 
 moccasins or very high heeled, stub toed boots, and an 
 enormous pair of spurs, with little steel balls that 
 jingled at each step. Buckled around his waist would 
 be a cartridge belt holding two carefully sighted re- 
 volvers, and a bone handled bowie-knife in his boot 
 leg, completed his dress. He was invariably the 
 proud owner of a " cay use " horse and Mexican saddle, 
 a bridle with reins of plaited hair, and a * ' riata * ' 
 [lariat] tied behind the saddle. The ' * cayuse ' ' was 
 never far from his master, for when that gentleman 
 wanted a horse he wanted him badly; either to escape 
 from a worse man than himself, or to escape the con- 
 sequences of having killed one. 
 
 The arrival of the stage coach was a deliriously joy- 
 ful event, for all of the new comers had to be carefully 
 questioned and their reasons for coming summed up. 
 The motive for his visit being shown, if one would 
 attend to his own business, dissipate a little so as not 
 to appear mean, and accept their rough jokes or horse 
 play in a proper and safe spirit, he would not only get 
 along, but would make some friends who would stand 
 by him : should the fact of his being quiet or not carry- 
 
CALABAZAS. ?7 
 
 ing a weapon, be taken advantage of by some ' ' rustler ' ' 
 or "bluffer," to make a bad man's record by picking 
 a quarrel with him. 
 
 At first, Calabazas was so quiet that Drinkwater's 
 sprees were a relief, and his presence welcome. After 
 the papers had been read, cards assisted in killing time. 
 Each evening we indulged in games of poker (in which 
 the stakes ran up to several thousands of dollars, repre- 
 sented by matches), until compelled, for comfort's sake, 
 to extinguish the gnat-attracting lamp. Then, till the 
 cool of morning, the sound of muttered oaths and spas- 
 modic, ineffectual slaps would be wafted on the suffo- 
 cating night air, as we battled with the bloodthirsty,- 
 voracious gnats that made night sleepless. 
 
 Very often, while having a game of cards in the 
 Custom House, we would hear the gentle song of the 
 Winchester bullet as it came in at one window a-nd 
 went out the other, some gentleman of humorous turn 
 having fired at the lamp chimney for the purpose of 
 "joshing" Drink water and myself. Quite often the 
 report of the rifle was followed by the sound of shat- 
 tering glass and a stygiaii darkness in the room. This, 
 when an expert was at the other end of the rifle. 
 Using the lamp for a target became so common that 
 we found it dangerous to have a light, unless we 
 moved the table into one of the corners where the 
 bullet would have to pierce a brick wall before it could 
 do any damage. Sometimes, when a particularly act- 
 ive game of cards was progressing in the saloon below, 
 a dispute would arise as to the ownership of the ' ' pot. 
 Should the excitement become intense, bullets would 
 presently come meandering up through the Custom 
 
28 CALABAZAS. 
 
 House floor, very much to the disturbance of our 
 peace of mind. 
 
 The bloods of the town would, toward morning, 
 when business was slack, make social calls at each 
 others saloons. Parties of these would drift into our 
 saloon, and, occasionally, to show their good fellowship 
 or high esteem, they would hail and desire me to come 
 down and join them. Should the hail not be immedi- 
 ately answered, a few bullets would be jocularly sent 
 crashing through the upper floor to expedite matters. 
 Matters would invariably be expedited. With a 
 series of appalling yells hurtling from my throat, I 
 would hasten to the saloon, half dressed, pale and 
 trembling, to be pulled to the bar by their friendly 
 hands, while they cracked jokes concerning the mail- 
 ing of an invitation from a revolver, and of how much 
 quicker than the telegraph it brought an answer, 
 with much more badinage to the same effect. That 
 they were informed by Drinky as to the corner in 
 which my bed was made, and fired into opposite cor- 
 ners, accounts for my having sustained no injuries 
 other than to my nerves. These hospitalities could 
 not be avoided. To sleep on the ground or from 
 under cover, insured catching the prevalent ague, and 
 a tent would have afforded no more privacy, nor as 
 much protection from vagrant bullets. The Cala- 
 bazans dearly loved the sound of pistol shots, and 
 when not firing volleys into each other, were filling 
 the air with random bullets. 
 
 One night I returned from a trip, wet to the skin, 
 and chilled to the bone in consequence of having been 
 caught in one of Arizona's sudden and frightful thun- 
 
CALABAZAS. 29 
 
 derstorms. Having changed my clothes, eaten sup- 
 per, and lighted my pipe, I was just passing into that 
 state of blissful repose known to the smoker only, 
 when Drinky dropped in to tell me that himself and 
 friends were going to the L,ine for Mescal, and would 
 expect me to remain up until their return, as they 
 then intended "to make Rome howl." Not having 
 the remotest desire to make either Rome or Calabazas 
 howl, to lose my needed rest, or to be shot while 
 asleep, my brain was cudjelled to devise some means 
 of escape. Finally I remembered a pile of bricks that 
 lay in a corner of the corral. I carried a number of 
 these into the Custom House, and borrowing from 
 the storekeeper two sheets of iron, placed them in 
 Drinky 's corner behind the door. Upon the iron two 
 courses of bricks were closely laid, and on this 
 foundation I made up my bed, rolled up in my blank- 
 ets , and went to sleep with a feeling of security. I 
 was presently awakened by hearing my name shouted 
 out, coupled with threats to shoot if I did not come 
 down instantly. The calls receiving no answer, sev- 
 eral shots were fired, and the bullets tearing through 
 the floor brought up with a " ping" against the iron 
 under my bed. They were firing into Drinky 's corner, 
 thinking me to be sleeping in my own, a contingency 
 not thought of when changing my sleeping place. 
 Knowirfg that the shots from below could not injure 
 me, I turned my face to the wall and kept perfectly 
 quiet. My quietness had its effect, for there was no 
 more shooting, but I heard Drinky say, " Boys, he is 
 up stairs, let's go and smoke him out." And then, 
 accompanied by a gambler and a most distinguished 
 
30 CALABAZAS. 
 
 ' ' gun-fighter, ' ' he ascended the stairs carrying a can- 
 dle. Seeing my own corner unoccupied, they were 
 about to leave w r hen Drinky spied my bed in his 
 corner. He was palsied with fear, and could barely 
 stammer out, " Why, he's made his bed in my 
 corner.'* Three more quickly sobered men were 
 never seen than these jokers now were. They came 
 to the pallet where I laid perfectly motionless, the 
 gambler saying, "My God, we've killed him in his 
 sleep." There was regret expressed in his tones, 
 and, I am glad to say, a tinge of anxiety also. The 
 joke was a rather serious one this time. 
 
 Those who had remained below now came to see 
 what was' the matter. They were met on the landing 
 with the exclamation, " We've killed him and had 
 better skip over the lyine !" An adjournment was 
 made to the saloon below, and further efforts toward 
 making ' ' Rome howl ' ' abandoned for the time 
 being. 
 
 They gave me credit for many more good qualities 
 than I was aware of having. My generosity, activity, 
 bravery, whiteness, and general saintliness of charac- 
 ter, as dilated upon, was a revelation to me, and I 
 shuddered to think how nearly they had come to kill- 
 ing such an exceptionally good man. They deplored 
 their luck, and devised schemes for escaping punish- 
 ment for my supposed death. Drinky thought it best 
 to skip over the lyine and lose themselves in Mexico. 
 The others thought it better for Drinky, as coroner, 
 to hold an inquest over my remains, bring in a verdict 
 of accidental death, and thus squash further proceed- 
 ings. The gun-fighter would stand ready to kill any one 
 
CALABAZAS. 3! 
 
 who intimated it wasn't an accident. Drinky strongly 
 protested against being made judicially prominent, 
 and insisted on skipping to the country of untaxed 
 whisky. 
 
 After quite a talk, the saloon keeper said that I 
 might be wounded only, and not beyond help. 
 Another of the party deemed it extremely foolish to 
 bother about saving my life, and then probably have 
 trouble over the shooting. If allowed to die, by all 
 telling one story, things would be made straight, and 
 they could bury me decently. He would pay his 
 share of the expenses. 
 
 The gambler and gun-fighter decided upon making 
 sure of my condition, and with Drinky again ascended 
 to the room, their candle' casting a funereal light 
 around. I still laid perfectly quiet, with my face to 
 the wall. 
 
 The gambler approached the bed, placed his hand 
 upon my chest, and remarked that he thought my 
 heart still beat. I did not breathe until almost suffo- 
 cated, and then, being obliged to fill my lungs, drew a 
 breath so deep and long that a sigh accompanied it. 
 The gambler yelled excitedly, ' ' He 'snot dead ! Come 
 here, quick ! " The others sprang* to his side and tore 
 the blankets from my body. 
 
 Seeing that it was no longer possible to deceive 
 them, I sat up, rubbed my eyes, yawned as if just 
 awakened, and asked: 
 
 ' ' What is the matter ? What the devil did you wake 
 me up for ? " 
 
 They were dumbfounded, and for some moments 
 
32 CAXABAZAS. 
 
 looked at me in imbecile astonishment. Drinky , when 
 he recovered speech, asked : 
 
 "Say, are you hurt?" 
 
 ' ' No ! What the thunder would hurt me ? " 
 
 "Didn't you hear any shots? " 
 
 ' ' Shots ? No ! What shots ? ' ' 
 
 "Oh, nothing. We thought we heard you holler as 
 if something had happened to you. 
 
 They passed their hands over my person, and asked 
 me to walk a few steps. The blankets were examined 
 and no bullet holes found. Their faces wore a puzzled 
 expression. Four or five shots had been fired into the 
 corner from powerful weapons, and yet I was un- 
 wounded, nor was there a mark on my bed clothing. 
 Either they had dangerously poor weapons or I had a 
 charmed life. Nothing more was said concerning the 
 shooting, they evidently believing my assertion of not 
 having heard the shots. As I stood before them 
 swinging my arms, twisting my body, and kicking 
 out my legs to show that no vital injuries had been 
 feloniously, and with malice aforethought, made away 
 with by me, they looked as if expecting to see me drop 
 dead at any moment. After satisfying themselves 
 that I was unhurt, they shook hands with me impres- 
 sively and assured me that if I ever needed friends 
 
 they would be on hand, for I was a , and several 
 
 other varieties of a good fellow. They wished me 
 pleasant dreams, shook hands again, and took their 
 leave. 
 
 Drinky had lingered to tell me of a secret deposit of 
 Mescal from which to refresh m3 r self. In turning to 
 follow his cronies, he stumbled over the corner of my 
 
33 GALA BAZAS. 
 
 bed, and displaced a brick. He looked at me in 
 pained surprise, and asked, "What the devil are 
 bricks doing up here?" at the same time picking up 
 the brick and calling to the others, who hurried back, 
 thinking, from the tone of his voice, that I was 
 finally dead. As they stood in the doorway, he 
 jerked away the mattress and exposed my safety 
 couch. It was some moments before they realized 
 the trick I had played upon them, and then, anathe- 
 matizing every portion of my person, they carried me 
 bodily to the saloon, where numberless drinks were 
 indulged in, but not as spiritedly as usual. Amongst 
 the entertainers was my unidentified enemy, who had 
 thought it better to let me die and hold an inquest. 
 The lesson my friends had received cured them of the 
 dangerous joke of shooting through the ceiling; but 
 the sheet iron and brick mattress were kept in use as a 
 precaution against future stray shots, for pistols were 
 oftimes used otherwise than to give point to a Cala- 
 bazan's joke. 
 
 Along the river bottom were hurdy-houses, an 
 institution that is indigenous to the mining, railroad, 
 or frontier town, and that merits a word of description. 
 A large tent, supported by a framework of scantlings, 
 is the ball room ; around the sides are benches for 
 onlookers and patrons, two or three hanging lamps 
 dimly illuminating the interior. At the rear end is a 
 counter and bar with shelves, and a mirror in a gilt 
 frame. Upon this bar the owner makes his most 
 enticing display of bottles, glass ware, and artificial 
 flowers. A sawed off shot gun or a revolver occupies 
 a special shelf under the counter, within easy reach 
 
34 CALABAZAS. 
 
 of the bar- tender, but no one else. In a corner of the 
 tent a much travelled, superannuated piano is placed 
 diagonally ; and behind the piano is a small platform 
 upon which are chairs for the violin and banjo 
 players, whom the pianist accompanies. In front of 
 the piano is placed a row of chairs for the girls. 
 
 The musicians wear a fatigued air as befits the 
 creme de la creme of hurdy society. It is an honor to 
 have them accept a drink at your expense ; and a 
 friendly nod from one raises you to the same notch in 
 your fellow's estimate as a free pass to a theater 
 would in older communities. At eight o'clock p. M. 
 the house fills w r ith roughly-clad, rude-mannered, foul- 
 mouthed men. The musicians take their places and 
 the fiddler calls out, "take your partners for a dance." 
 With less bustle than in a city ballroom the dancers 
 are in place, the floor manager , generally the pro- 
 prietor assisted by a six shooter, winds his way among 
 them to see that all is ready ; to eliminate dead beats, 
 and customers whose dance and bar bills are already 
 large enough ; or some fellow too attentive, and who 
 may wed one of the girls, thus putting the hurdy-man 
 to great expense in replacing her. A signal is given, 
 the music strikes up, a rattling reel, a quadrille, or a 
 well played waltz, and the rough shoes of the dancers 
 beat the floor resoundingly. 
 
 At the end of the allotted fifteen minutes the music 
 ends with a suddenness that stumbles. Each man takes 
 his partner to the bar for refreshment. The men are 
 handed any liquor they order. The girl's orders, vary- 
 ing from champagne to beer, are filled from one magical 
 bottle containing innocuous, whisky looking, clarified 
 
CALABAZAS. 35 
 
 and sugared coffee ; for the reason that the women 
 must be kept sober. A drunken woman cannot dance 
 satisfactorily, and, as an irate hurdy-man was heard 
 to remark, <( A hurdy-girl with a jag, raises more 
 than a rattle- weeded Texas steer. ' ' 
 
 There was a refreshing candor and freedom from 
 constraint in the intercourse between the Calabazans. 
 To refuse a drink was a shocking insult to the enter- 
 tainer, for the water being bad, it was something to be 
 avoided at all hazards. It was not in good form to 
 pronounce the surname, if you knew it, of one whom 
 you were addressing. Ignorance of this social custom 
 sometimes brought new comers to grief. Many a quiet 
 keen eyed stranger came to the town; men whose ears 
 cocked sharply at the hearing of a proper name. 
 Therefore, from the highest stratum to the lowest 
 level of Calabazas society, none seemed gifted with a 
 surname, It was Lizzie, Mollie, Sallie, or George, 
 Pete, and Bob. As there might be two or more 
 bearing these names, identity was made sure by a 
 prefix, suggestive of some personal peculiarity, as 
 Handsome George, Curly Pete, Spud Micky, or Char- 
 ley's Jack, referring to some saloon utility man. 
 Ladies having the same names were distinguished one 
 from the other by being known as " Splay-foot Sal," 
 1 ' Jag Lizzie, " " The Widow, " or ' ' Birdie ' 'if given 
 to singing. Prefixes descriptive of personal deformity 
 were common. "Sheeny," indicated a prominent 
 nasal organ, "Conch" being substituted should the 
 nasal organ be in the nature of a freak. " Limpy 
 Bob " was a cripple, of course, and " Lucky" inferred 
 
36 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 very fortunate or unfortunate person, when attached 
 to a name. 
 
 Calabazans used but few words to express a great 
 deal. Experience had taught them the value of 
 taciturnity; that the least said was the soonest mended, 
 and the greater safety. Usually their remarks were 
 limited to, "I don't care if I do, ""make your game," 
 or "whisky sour." The slang, profanity, and mix- 
 ture of Mexican words and terms, made the vernacu- 
 lar language almost a foreign tongue. 
 
 Their favorite drink was Mescal, a fiery liquor made 
 from a species of agave or cactus. It can only be 
 kept in glass, and is sweetened with salt before 
 swallowing. Three successive drinks of Mescal would 
 drive a fellow into voluntarily kissing his mother-in- 
 law, which is a valuable pointer for that necessary 
 and much abused female. 
 
 Such was Calabazas during its short-lived boom. 
 The whistle of the bullet was heard in the land ; the 
 clattering music of the faro and poker chips, as they 
 were shuffled through the nervous fingers of the 
 players, sounding from every side, as if beans were 
 falling on a tin roof. " Keno ;" " Make your game, 
 gentleman ; " ' ' The black wins ; ' ' and ' ' Drop that 
 pot, you - ! " Bang ! floated to the ear from the 
 several tents after dark. Desperate men, never per- 
 fectly sober, carrying heavy revolvers and keen-edged 
 bowie-knives in boot or breast, filled the tents and 
 streets. Low-browed dogs, keepers of low drinking 
 resorts, with huge pistols fastened to their waists by 
 steel chains, slouched around their tent doors awaiting 
 a chance to rob some laborer. At every turn men 
 
CALABAZAS. 37 
 
 would be met whose crimes could not be atoned for 
 by a life time of prison or a half dozen halters, they 
 having been attracted to Calabazas by reason of its 
 location near the Mexican boundary line, to where 
 they could readily escape from American jurisdiction 
 in case they were hunted for present or past offences. 
 The average darkness of Calabazas humanity was 
 illumined by the flash light presence of some who 
 were more eccentric, criminal, or specially gifted than 
 the mass ; of these I will attempt to give an account 
 in the following chapters. 
 
 Those visiting the site of the former grandeur of 
 Calabazas, as they ponder over its ' ' kitchen middens, ' ' 
 empty tins and early history, need not expect to find 
 much but the name ; for, upon the completion of the 
 railroad, Calabazas became a dangerous way station ; 
 besides, a hurried trip to the Line was a wearisome 
 and anxious one for those that prudential reasons 
 compelled to make it. From time to time the best 
 customers of the saloons and the flowers of society 
 flitted to the Line. After the anti-Chinese riot, the 
 people and tents moved to the new town of Nogales, 
 whence it was but a step from the American sheriff to 
 the Mexican safety over the Line. At the exodus, for 
 obvious reasons, the Custom House and corral, the 
 wells, and the hotel foundations were left behind. 
 These are all that remain of the evanescent glories of 
 Calabazas, unless, indeed, the map still hangs on the 
 Custom House wall. 
 
THE CALABAZAS KID. 
 
 HIS ARRIVAL HIS SOJOURN HIS SUBJUGATION HIS 
 DEPARTURE FOR THE LINE. 
 
 THE advance of the railroad construction gang 
 boomed the Pastoral Arcadia of Calabazas. Town 
 lots began having more than a fictitious value, and 
 the four or five people that had comprised the ancient 
 population, felt more as if they were a portion of the 
 great world. Each new saloon tent with its assorted 
 poisons, array of fancy bottles, and stacks of poker 
 chips, was welcomed as a commercial enterprise of 
 great merit, and the older citizens considered them- 
 selves very enterprising indeed, in ever having found 
 Calabazas at all. 
 
 Although there was nothing massive about these 
 new structures in the town, but their names and their 
 owners unlimited cheek, yet on account of their being 
 placed regularly on each side of supposed streets, they 
 gave the city something of a metropolitan aspect, and 
 the nightly music in the hurdy-houses on the river 
 bottom, gave the weary and heavy laden notice that 
 the town could furnish some of the metropolitan vices 
 and amusements. As Calabazas filled up with rail- 
 
40 CALA BAZAS. 
 
 road men, miners from the adjacent mountains, gam- 
 blers, whisky dealers, and desperadoes, it became the 
 banner town of Arizona for all manner of vileness, 
 notwithstanding that murder and robbery ran riot 
 throughout the Territory. Of course, among the new 
 comers were a number of " Kids," but not conspicu- 
 ously bad ones. They associated with their fellow 
 bad men as if the title carried no particular distinc- 
 tion ; and until the arrival of the subject of the present 
 sketch one destined to much disturb the usual status 
 of things in that happy burg a Kid had no special 
 terrors for the average Calabazan. 
 
 The new arrival was a finely proportioned young 
 man; his every movement indicated strength and 
 agility. He was about twenty-one years of age, and 
 both his features and language gave evidence that he 
 had been well born, and reared by respectable people. 
 The armory of weapons, and magazine of ammunition 
 belted around his waist, his befringed buckskin suit, 
 rattling spurs, and broad-brimmed sombrero, as well 
 as his actions, were a sufficient assurance to the ever 
 watchful citizen, that he was not a detective or a 
 sheriff. These suspicious characters were the only 
 visitors viewed with any serious disfavor by the cau- 
 tious inhabitants. He was dissipated looking, of 
 course, and his talk was replete with oaths and slang. 
 He had a fine horse, saddle and bridle, which were dis- 
 posed of within an hour or two after reaching town, 
 realizing something like one hundred dollars for the 
 outfit. He then filled himself with bug juice whisky, 
 or the tarantula juice Mescal, and proceeded to intro- 
 duce himself to Calabazas society and have a devil of 
 
THE KID. 41 
 
 a time generally. A series of appalling yells and ear- 
 splitting whoops came from his throat ; he swore in 
 forty varieties; he was boss, and could stand before 
 any man in the town. He walked up and down the 
 street, his pistol popping like a Gattling gun. 
 
 Who knew it to be a fact, none could tell ; yet it 
 was soon asserted in whispers that this was the dread 
 "Texas Kid," or the holy terror of terrors. Death 
 laid in his finger ends, and disaster in his wink. His 
 deeds of daring, in fighting his way to freedom 
 through cohorts of the minions of the law, put the 
 deeds before Troy to shame. Sheriffs and constables 
 had been his victims by scores ; his pistol grip was 
 unwieldy from notches in commemoration of his dead, 
 and his shooting simultaneously from a pistol in each 
 hand, was a miracle of skill and deadly destruction. It 
 would be better to eat sand for a month than to trucu- 
 lently cross the orbit of this flaming meteor of a Kid. 
 He was "The Texas Kid ! " the only ! the original ! 
 He was chief, and annihilation awaited the Calabazas 
 champion that aspired to equality or superiority in all 
 that went to constitute a ruffian. 
 
 These rumors were started as soon as this Kid 
 began to made a local record. No one vouched for 
 their truth or could give any authority, but they were 
 supinely accepted as being true. By nightfall of the 
 first day, the Kid was the acknowledged chief of the 
 hardest town in Arizona, and, without leaving that 
 trail of blood that usually leads to the honors that 
 crown the chieftain. 
 
 The Kid made few or no intimates. Cowardly 
 admirers were always ready to treat him at the bars or 
 
42 CALABAZAS. 
 
 gambling tables, and if he spoke familiarly with one 
 of them, they were ready to kill some one not a Kid 
 and thus make themselves still more worthy of the 
 chiefs notice and approval. 
 
 Occasionally a dressy looking stranger alighting from 
 the stage to stretch his legs, would be compelled to 
 dance an exhaustive jig, while the Kid fired his 
 revolver balls at the feet of the dancer to furnish the 
 incentive. "The Moke," our only colored resident, 
 abandoned us because the Kid had so little regard 
 for the fifteenth amendment as to make him stand 
 upon his head, and, with his feet in the air, dance 
 several difficult jigs, breakdowns and quicksteps to 
 the music of that humorous gentleman's revolvers, 
 fired rapidly, and in the direction of the colored 
 brothers quickly moving feet. The prettiest hurdy- 
 girls would leave their escorts a-t his request. The 
 dancing floor was never too crowded to make room for 
 him. At the gambling table he did not wait for 
 chance to favor him, but replenished his pile of chips 
 from his neighbor's; if the robbed demurred, a look 
 from the knightly Kid was a quieting potion, and a 
 receipt in full. Whisky, wines, and cigars were at 
 his command, to be paid for at his leisure, or not paid 
 for at all, Should he desire to give some saloon keeper 
 a hint that relations were strained, a horse was taken 
 from the corral and ridden into the saloon, the hanging 
 lamps would be used as targets at which to fire his 
 devastating pistol, or the saloon keeper would be made 
 to treat the horse and rider, while with fitful gaze he 
 calculated the size of that gentleman's revolver barrels. 
 
 He apparently had a charmed life, and his daring 
 
THE KID. 43 
 
 and coolness were beyond belief. Many were the 
 threats of his victims, intended to be carried out at 
 the first opportunity for assassinating him. He took 
 particular pains to show himself to be a dead shot 
 from either hand. He seemed never to close his eyes 
 in sleep, and so cat-like were his movements that none 
 were able to get the much-desired ''drop" on him. 
 
 After one week the town had become so used to 
 being bluffed by the Kid that it was accepted as 
 one of the natural conditions of Calabazas life. That he 
 should step uninvited to the bar and be counted in, 
 was to be expected at any social treat of friends and 
 strangers. Men of his own class spoke admiringly of 
 his nervy eye and of his quickness with the gun. 
 There was no doubt in Calabazas of * ' The Kid ' ' 
 being chief, king, emperor, or anything else he chose 
 to consider himself ; and, like other chiefs, kings, 
 or emperors, he worked his title for all it was worth. 
 A more tyrannical, over-bearing, and conceited chief, 
 king, or emperor, never existed. 
 
 Crandall, the Land Company's agent at Calabazas, 
 was a good-natured but dissipated man, and a pleas- 
 ant and entertaining fellow; drink did not entirely 
 obliterate these qualities in him. Everyone liked him, 
 for he gave no intentional offence, and his unfailing 
 good nature, drunk or sober, forbade him taking 
 offence, even at the most offensive jokes; he saved no 
 money which is a virtue in such a town and being 
 the agent of the Company that claimed the Earth, was 
 an important citizen. 
 
 Now while Crandall gave no offence, he was always 
 in a fever of apprehensive dread that one of the "bad 
 
44 CAI^ABAZAS. 
 
 men " would take a shot at him for an imaginary cause, 
 and in consequence, nearly his whole time was taken 
 up in making peace with the "bad men " of the town. 
 The Kid had terrors for him, drunk or sober, that were 
 never allayed ; a casual look from the " chief" was 
 enough to place him between the devil and deep sea of 
 doubt, to cause him to fill himself with whisky and 
 retire to the Custom House room, where he would, in 
 maudlin tones, bemoan the evil fate that had brought 
 that sanguinary arsenal of a Kid to Calabazas. It 
 must not be inferred that Crandall was an arrant 
 coward; in more lawful communities it is probable he 
 would have defended himself manfully. Here he was 
 panic-stricken and demoralized at the utter disregard 
 for human life, and his constant drinking had a ten- 
 dency to unnerve him. The Kid bluffed more men 
 than Crandall, and many of them had a record for 
 being as dangerousty bad as the Kid claimed for him- 
 self or rumor gave him. 
 
 Crandall carried a pistol. A pistol was a part of every 
 man's and many women's costume in Calabazas. A 
 man did not feel fully dressed if the grind of a revolver 
 was not felt on his hip or thigh at each step. Why 
 most of them carried weapons, no man knew, for the 
 majority were ready to throw their "gun " away and 
 run like deer at the slightest danger, or hand it, 
 without demur, to the first gun-fighter that demanded 
 them. But being the frontier fashion, Crandall, of 
 course, had to carry one ; it at least impressed the 
 11 Tenderfeet," and insured, from them, a measure of 
 respect and awe. His pistol was an old, rusty, muzzle 
 loading Colt's, and it is doubtlul if it had been loaded 
 
THK KID. 45 
 
 for years ; yet this old pistol, and Crandall, and a hasty 
 action, were to give the town a lesson on the folly of 
 accepting a stranger on the strength of rumor, or at 
 his own appraisement. 
 
 It was the afternoon of a July day, one of those dry, 
 hot, debilitating days, known only to the sun-baked 
 valleys of the extreme Western States and Territories. 
 It was so suffocatingly hot that the least exertion was 
 wearisome. The corpulent, ubiquitous Calabazas fly 
 was too enervated to buzz, or too dispirited to let go 
 of the ceiling or fall into the butter; and coatless 
 men lounged lethargically in the shadow of their 
 tents, in vain attempt to keep cool. 
 
 Crandall was sitting at a table in the Palace Hotel, 
 the one nearest the door, with his side toward the 
 entrance, and facing one of the tent sides. Opposite 
 him sat a stranger, one who had arrived that day, and 
 spread upon the table was a map of Calabazas. The 
 stranger was an intending settler, and Crandall was 
 setting forth to him the future greatness of the town, 
 praising its social advantages, and, in fact, telling all 
 the standard lies of a real estate agent who is hungry 
 for a commission. The stranger was a respectable 
 looking man, and, though he had been but a half day 
 in Calabazas, his restless eye and nervous starts be- 
 trayed the fact that he had seen enough of the un- 
 affected free and easy manners of the town, to wish 
 that his early education in frontier customs had not 
 been neglected. Crandall was so deeply engaged in 
 impressing the stranger with the advantages of the 
 town, that he did not notice the Kid enter the tent to 
 partake of his midday meal, something he never missed 
 
46 CALABAZAS. 
 
 or paid for. The Kid seated himself with his back to 
 Crandall, and summoned Cum Sing by banging the 
 table with a salt cellar. When that worthy appeared, 
 the following extraordinary order was viciously given 
 by the chief: 
 
 1 ' Bring me some great moral standby and Arizona 
 turkey." 
 
 Cum Sing, taken aback by an order for such unheard 
 of delicacies, replied graciously : 
 
 "Me no sabee, gleat molly stanby. Me no sabee 
 Alizona tulke, hab got bled, hab got sullup, hab 
 got- -."* 
 
 He did not finish his list of luxuries, for the Kid 
 arose and fired two shots at Cum Sing's feet, saying, 
 
 * ' I want beans and pork , you pork and beans; you 
 
 sabee now?" 
 
 Ah Kid ! Kid ! those two were the last cartridges 
 in your pistols. Their reports sounded the death 
 knell of your reign. Like greater men, your sense of 
 security proved your destruction. 
 
 At the first shot, Cum Sing, saturated with fright, 
 
 gave a blood-curdling shout of ' ' Wha fo? Je Cli ! 
 
 wha fo you shoot me?" jumped six, feet perpen- 
 dicularly, and, as his feet touched the floor, shot from 
 the dining room as an arrow from the bow, yelling at 
 the top of his falsetto voice to his brethren in the 
 kitchen. As the terrified Chinaman left the room, his 
 cue uncoiled, and stood out stiff and straight behind 
 him. The second shot accentuated his speed, and 
 
 * The Chinese with difficulty pronounce '*r" or "v"; for these letters 
 they substitute " 1 " and ' ' w." 
 
THE KID. 47 
 
 cleared the kitchen of Hi Sing and Lo Sing in short 
 order. 
 
 Up to the time of firing the shots, Crandall had 
 been oblivious to all but the stranger and the map. 
 At hearing the shots, the stranger turned pale, lost all 
 interest in Calabazas real estate, and hastily arose to 
 go. Crandall, rendered desperate by the idea of 
 losing his whilom customer, and the commission that 
 would have supplied him with the satisfying Mescal 
 for many days, jumped from his seat, pulled the 
 rusty old pistol from his pocket, and, turning rapidly, 
 slapped the Kid upon the back with a resounding 
 whack, at the same time inquiring, "What in the 
 h 1 is the shooting about?" Crandall was so exas- 
 perated at seeing the stranger hurriedly disappear, 
 that he did not stop to consider, and had not the least 
 idea of whom he was talking to. The blow had been 
 unintentionally hard, and was given for the purpose of 
 attracting attention to his question, therefore it may 
 be imagined what his feelings were, when he in- 
 stantly realized that he had familiarly slapped the back 
 of the unconquerable Kid, and had so cavalierly asked 
 that monarch for information. He wasriv etedto the 
 spot and frigid with fear ; he expected no less than in- 
 stant death. 
 
 Upon receiving the slap the Kid turned and saw 
 Crandall, pistol in hand, lips firmly set, and staring at 
 him with dilated eyes. In a moment the Kid's figure 
 was as rigid, and his stare as intent as was Crandall' s. 
 For a few seconds they eyed each other steadily. The 
 silence was so oppressive that it sagged in the roof of 
 the tent and bulged out its sides. Suddenly, and 
 
48 CALABAZAS. 
 
 without a word of warning, the heroic Kid threw his 
 
 pistol to the floor, fell to his knees, and, in a whining 
 voice begged Crandall to spare his life, for he had 
 been simply "joshing Cum Sing, and intended no 
 harm." 
 
 It was with mingled emotions of terror and surprise 
 that Crandall saw the Kid kneeling at his feet implor- 
 ing mercy. His head actually ached with the excess 
 of his astonishment and doubt. Was he actually and 
 really Crandall, or had all but Crandall' s form been 
 replaced by the spirit of Agamemnon? Was this 
 kneeling figure the Kid or the Astral body of that 
 truculent chieftain? If actually the Kid, was not his 
 present humble demeanor intended as a sarcasm? 
 Was he not playing with him, as a cat does with a 
 mouse, before he wreaked a final and deadly ven- 
 geance? It might be so! and Crandall 's grip upon 
 his old pistol tightened. But no ! the stricken look 
 and humble attitude of the vanquished Kid was too 
 plain to be misunderstood. 
 
 Crandall grasped the situation with a presence of 
 mind that few in that town would have displayed. 
 The pallor left his face, and the blood returned with 
 such force and volume that it soon became more rubi- 
 cund than usual. How his heart swelled with the 
 pride of victory ! How mighty thoughts of his deter- 
 mined attack on this terrible Kid surged through his 
 mind ; he had intended doing this very thing, of course 
 he had, no one could harbor a doubt about it. Kyeing 
 the Kid sternly, meanwhile keeping his old pistol 
 aimed point blank at that humble person's head, he 
 ordered him to ' ' hold up your bands and hold them 
 
THE KID. 49 
 
 high" Without delay the Kid's hands went up so 
 high that his arms appeared a foot longer than normal. 
 With an unforgiveable want of logic, Crandall next 
 ordered him to hand over his weapons. The Kid had 
 hardly made the first movement toward lowering his 
 hands to comply, when Crandall excitedly yelled at 
 him to hold up his hands and keep them up unless he 
 wished instant death. 
 
 Calling Cum Sing, he ordered him to tie the Kid's 
 hands behind him and to hobble his feet. This com- 
 mand was obeyed with great cheerfulness. That re- 
 organized heathen next proceeded to dismantle this 
 wreck of a Kid, and closely examined each weapon 
 before delivering into Crandall's hands. After dis- 
 arming the captive, Cum Sing gazed at him with 
 great scorn and severity and said, "You go h 1, 3^ou 
 no good. Wha fo you foolee me, spose you likee 
 shoot ; wha fo you no shoot Mis' Clandal ; him welly 
 good man ; - . Me no flaid you. You eatee 
 
 my g'lub plenty ; you no pay one cent. You allee 
 time shoot box, shoot can, shoot air. Me no flaid 
 you. Je Cli ! you foolee me one more time, me 
 b'leak yo head. Wha fo you no pay me fo g'lub? 
 You go lound, you dance huldy -girl, you no pay; 
 all lite! You go s'loon, you catchee d'link; you 
 catchee cigah, you no pay; all lite! You go was- 
 house an get cloze, you no pay; you shoot no an sea 'a 
 ebbybody; all lite! You come my house, you shoot 
 flo ; Hi Sing him lun way ; Lo Sing, him lun way ; 
 him man go buy lot, him lun way; you laise h 1 
 allee time; all lite, I sabee! Me an Mis' Clandal no 
 flaid you. Je Cli ! wha fo you tink me flaid ? Wha 
 
50 CALABAZAS. 
 
 h 1 you come my house fo? You no likee bean, you 
 no likee fla-jack, you no likee licee, you no likee 
 sullup, you no likee anyting. You likee molly stan- 
 by, you likee Alizona tulke . Me no sabee 
 
 molly stanby, me no sabee Alizona tulke. Mis' 
 Clandal he no sabee too. Je Cli! you foolee me an 
 Mis' Clandal one more time an an an ." At this 
 point the memory of past indignities so overcame Cum 
 Sing, and he had absorbed so much of Crandall's 
 valor that he danced a war jig around the unhappy 
 prisoner, and, uncoiling his cue, belabored him heartily 
 with the end thereof, until Crandall ordered him to 
 desist, and lead the Kid to a chair. 
 
 Cum Sing led the prisoner to a chair ; his captor, 
 after first putting his pistol in his pocket, seated him- 
 self opposite, and slowly running his glance up and 
 down the Kid's figure, asked, "What in h 1 do you 
 mean by cutting up in this way ? ' ' This question was 
 entirely supererogatory when it is remembered that 
 the Kid had been doing equally as bad or worse daily 
 since he had bestowed his unwelcome presence on 
 Calabazas. What could the Kid say in answer ? Were 
 not his knife, his pistols and his ammunition belt now 
 the trophies of his captor's prowess? Was he any 
 longer king, emperor, or chief? Had he not met his 
 Waterloo? Not getting an answer, Crandall leaned 
 over the table, and, taking the Kid's ornamented hat 
 from his head, contemptuously twirled it into the kitchen 
 with the remark, "You - - scrub, take off your hat 
 when you talk to me. ' ' 
 
 He now applied a string of the most opprobious 
 epithets to the Kid, and wound up the list by asking, 
 
THE KID. 51 
 
 while lie slapped his cheeks with his open hand be- 
 tween each word : 
 
 "Say! (slap) what in (slap) h -1 (slap, slap,) are 
 you monkeying (slap) around here (slap) so for ? " 
 (slap.) 
 
 How much oftener Crandall would have asked the 
 same question it would be hard to say, had not the 
 crowd made its presence felt. The news of the cap- 
 ture of the Kid, ' after a deadly conflict," had spread 
 like wildfire over the town. The tent and the street in 
 front of it were crowded with citizens. Every hurdy- 
 man, rustler, gambler or saloon-keeper that the Kid 
 had bluffed was on hand, with tempers certainly not 
 of the sweetest when they learned that, single handed 
 and without conflict, Crandall had captured the mighty 
 and invincible Kid. Crandall, whom any one could 
 bluff; who always had important engagements else- 
 where in troublous times; who had the most aged 
 pistol in the town, and not a notch on its hilt ; a pistol 
 that he had never fired so much as at a mark. Some 
 were inclined to give him credit, and, as he sat oppo- 
 site his captive drinking in their admiration, how 
 sweet to his ears were such remarks as, " I'm - if 
 Crandall aint got nerve." "Crandall is a daisy when 
 he starts in." Didn't think it was in Crandall by 
 
 . ' ' And many others of like tenor. 
 
 In the crowd were several of the hurdy-ladies who 
 had been the recipients of the Kid's enforced atten- 
 tions. They cast scornful glances at him who had so 
 lately basked in their smiles. One lady, more forward 
 than the others, whipped out a pair of scissors and 
 clipped off a handful of his luxuriant locks, exclaiming 
 
52 CALABAZAS. 
 
 that she wanted a (< bunch for keeps." Of course the 
 other ladies must follow such a valorous example. 
 They were all "just dying for a memento," and to 
 prevent such a fatality, the scissors were busily en- 
 gaged until his once abundant hair had disappeared. 
 The gentle barbers followed no uniform style, and in 
 consequence, his very lumpy and ill-shaped head was 
 soon covered by stunted bunches of hair tying in 
 irregular windrows. 
 
 There was nearly as much feeling against Crandall 
 for having captured the Kid as there was against that 
 uncrowned king for having so long bluffed the town, 
 and then surrendering to the least dangerous man in 
 it; in short, when these desperadoes, some of whom, 
 safety assured, would not hesitate to commit the most 
 atrocious crime, saw the ridiculous light in which the 
 capture of the terrible Kid by the good-natured Cran- 
 dall placed them ; when they knew that they had 
 been cowed, and made to eat leeks by a bluffer with- 
 out the shadow of a record, their cowardly anger knew 
 no bounds, and it was only by the exertions of the 
 better class of sports, and the taunts of the more sym- 
 pathetic hurdy-girls, that they were prevented from 
 taking immediate and dastardly revenge on the help- 
 less, trembling culprit, by filling his body with bullets. 
 Crandall's demeanor at this juncture was ridiculously 
 sensible. Seeing that the crowd was in a dangerous 
 humor, he arbitrarily ordered the Kid * ' to shut his 
 - mouth ; ' ' not that the Kid was saying anything, 
 far from it. He then addressed the crowd, stating that 
 the Kid was his capture, and the spoils of his in- 
 dividual courage; that through the Kid's actions in 
 
THE KID. 53 
 
 the Palace Hotel, he had lost a good cash commission, 
 consequently he claimed the full charge and disposal 
 of the prisoner. (Crandall's customer meanwhile was 
 rapidly footing his way to Tubac, from which place he 
 took the first stage, and forever shook Arizona's dust 
 from his feet.) Frontier mobs are thoughtless, and 
 easily swayed from anger to mirth. Crandall's looks 
 and actions, more than his words, created laughter in 
 the crowd. The more influential citizens said that 
 Crandall was right, whereupon the crowd slowly dis- 
 persed, and the prisoner was led by his captor to the 
 corral to be safely tied in a stall. 
 
 As the evening shades came on, groups of people 
 gathered in the different saloon tents to discuss the 
 Kid's downfall and career in Calabazas. Of course, 
 many who desired to put a new polish on their dimmed 
 records, claimed they knew from the first that this was 
 not the "Texas Kid," and that he was a "rotten 
 fake ; ' ' but they had laid low to see how he would 
 run the town, and at the proper time had intended "to 
 do him up in great shape," etc. The more manly ac- 
 knowledged that the Kid had ' ' played them for suck- 
 ers ;" ' ' had made fools of them, and had worked 
 Calabazas for a Jay town, which it was." Calabazans 
 were much like the rest of the world ; nothing bad 
 enough can be said of an unsuccessful person, and a 
 detected rogue is always the worst possible rogue. 
 
 After the first flush of anger was over, by some 
 strange impulse an impulse that often takes the place 
 of reason with these people the past deeds of the Kid 
 were looked upon more as in the nature of a good 
 joke on the town than as deserving of anger or ill will. 
 
54 CALABAZAS. 
 
 They appreciated the humor of his having bluffed the 
 town, and then permitting Crandall to capture him so 
 easily. The hurdy-girls and better class of sports 
 said that it would be shameful cowardice to take re- 
 venge on a green boy, just because they had been 
 afraid of him ; that for two weeks he had had his 
 own way, and, being an expert pistol shot, could have 
 done much damage if so inclined. 
 
 That night the leading sports gathered in the Golden 
 Fleece, and formulated a plan for punishing the Kid, 
 and at the same time amuse themselves at his expense 
 as he had done at theirs. It is hardly necessary to 
 say that Crandall was not at all consulted. That fear- 
 less and vigilant man, during the silent watches of the 
 night, had convinced himself that he had captured a 
 notorious criminal, and he revelled in thoughts of the 
 large rewards he would reap thereby. The lost com- 
 mission was dismissed as unworthy of longer thought. 
 He would take the Kid to Tucson, deliver him to the 
 authorities, collect the rewards, and return to Nogales 
 to buy into the Mescal distillery, and there reside ever- 
 more. As for the Kid, he passed a sleepless night, 
 and utterly refused the food which Crandall did not 
 neglect to bring him. 
 
 Next morning, after breakfast, Handsome George 
 and Curly Pete called at the Custom House, where 
 they found Crandall sitting in the official arm chair, 
 his hat on the back of his head, his heels on the table, 
 and his head filled with the magnitude of his own 
 merit and importance. In a most anxious tone of 
 voice they asked Crandall, 
 
 " Where is the Kid!" 
 
THE KID. 55 
 
 " He's in the corral ; I just left him." 
 
 ' ' No he aint. ' ' 
 
 Crandall was on his feet in an instant. 
 
 "He aint?" 
 
 "No, he's gone! He took a pistol and rifle from 
 Frank down stairs, and said that he was going to play 
 even before he left town. ' ' 
 
 "Wh-a-t!" exclaimed Crandall. 
 
 "That's what he said," said George. 
 
 "Wh-a-t!" again exclaimed Crandall, while his 
 face assumed a deathlike hue. 
 
 "The Kid's on a hunt, that's what," said Pete. 
 
 Crandall jammed his hat over his eyes, and rushed 
 past the two men, saying, 
 
 "Great God! let me out of this! don't stop me!" 
 and fairly flew down the Custom House steps. 
 
 In front of the house stood Drinky's horse ready for 
 mounting. Drinky had just stepped into the saloon 
 for a stirrup cup, before starting on an exhausting 
 trip to the distillery at the I^ine. In a moment Cran- 
 dall had vaulted into the saddle, and so vigorously did 
 he ply lash and heels, that he disappeared over the 
 little ridge at the head of the valley before Drinky 
 could offer any protest. 
 
 Now the Kid was still confined safe and fast in the 
 corral, and Crandall had barely gotten out of sight 
 before a committee entered the corral and brought the 
 prisoner out. He was a most pitiable sight, haggard, 
 pale and tearful; the remnant of his once abundant 
 hair was scraggly and tangled with straw ; his hands 
 were swollen from the tightness of his hay rope man- 
 acles ; his feet were numb from the impeded circula- 
 
56 CALABAZAS. 
 
 tion, and his once fiery eyes were shifty with fear. As 
 he faced the cold, unmerciful mob from whom he ex- 
 pected nothing but hanging, he could not control his 
 voice enough to plead for himself. His appearance so 
 worked upon the sympathies of the more tender 
 hearted hurdy-girls, that, though they had lived in 
 constant fear ot him during his reign, they now made 
 strong appeals to the mob not to be hard upon him. 
 If the girls had not known that no injury was in- 
 tended, no doubt they would have faced the mob in 
 his defence. Women in frontier towns have done such 
 things before, and when their sympathies are aroused 
 they are very tigers in courage and forgetfulness of 
 danger. 
 
 The Kid was given a large drink of whisky; the 
 bindings of his feet and wrists were loosened, and he 
 was asked to give an account of himself. He spoke 
 almost in a whisper, and stated that he had come from 
 Indiana, had been well raised, but a dime novel reader ; 
 he desired to live a frontier desperado's manner of life, 
 and his mother being a widow and pretty well off, he 
 had taken enough money from her to come West. At 
 Denver, Colorado, he had purchased a cow-boy's out- 
 fit. His first stopping place had been Tombstone, but 
 the amiable differences existing there between several 
 cliques of bad men in which the undertaker had the 
 last say made the town honored by their residence 
 rather undesirable as a place in which to safely begin 
 a record, so he had hied himself to Calabazas, where 
 he was gratified and astonished to be mistaken for the 
 "Texas Kid," a gentleman who seemed to be much 
 dreaded, and had accepted the name because it was 
 
THE KID. 57 
 
 both appropriate to his longings, and had a ready 
 made record attached. His success in posing as a bad 
 man had been so phenomenal that, for fear luck would 
 turn, he had determined to leave Calabazas, and nurse 
 his reputation in some less dangerous town ; and, in 
 fact, had it not been for his unfortunate downfall in 
 the Palace Hotel (a downfall the more regretted, no 
 doubt, because Crandall was the downfaller), he would 
 have departed on the next stage. He said he had 
 never injured any one, and that if they would spare 
 him, he would return to Indiana and stay there the 
 remainder of his life. 
 
 When the Kid had finished his story, he was given 
 another drink to brace him up, and was told by the 
 spokesman of the committee that they had decided to 
 give him a chance for his life ; that he would be taken 
 to the outskirts of the town and be given one hundred 
 feet start on the road to Nogales ; when he reached 
 that mark, all hands would take a shot at him. 
 Should he not be killed, he could keep right on ; if 
 wounded, he wonld be cared for and turned loose on 
 recovery ; but if he should escape and again come to 
 an Arizona camp, any of them meeting him would 
 kill him on sight. Needs must where the devil drives, 
 and the Kid had to reconcile himself to the situation. 
 The terror stricken fellow cast such pitiful, appealing 
 glances at the lawless crowd surrounding him, that 
 even their hardened hearts would have been softened 
 if injury had been intended ; but it was fully under- 
 stood that the shots were to be fired into the air ; the 
 boy's mental suffering was to be the sole punishment 
 for his two weeks of fraudulent chieftainship. 
 
58 CALABAZAS. 
 
 After an hour to recover strength and courage from 
 the restorative whiskeys administered, the Kid was 
 brought to the starting point and made ready for his 
 run. A Cotton wood tree one hundred feet distant was 
 selected as the point to be reached before firing began. 
 At the word "Go," the Kid was off like a flash; just 
 as he reached the tree a volley was fired, and his body 
 was seen stretched upon the ground. There was a 
 general rush made to where he lay, and some of the 
 crowd raised his head from the ground. His deathly 
 pale face and staring eyes indicated that he had met 
 his death at their hands; and, with few exceptions, 
 the breasts of the mob were filled with regret at the 
 result of their fun. It was presumed that some cow- 
 ardly scoundrel in the crowd had left a loaded cartridge 
 in his weapon, and fired to kill, knowing the impossi- 
 bility of fixing the guilt upon any certain person. If 
 this had been the case, the culprit, if detected, would 
 have been strung upon a tree, or have been riddled 
 with bullets. 
 
 As they stood around the body scanning each other's 
 faces, in an endeavor to detect the guilty person, a 
 moan was heard from the Kid, and a twitching of his 
 eyes noticed ; he had only fainted from fright and ex- 
 haustion. He was quickly placed with his back 
 against the tree, and freely-administered whisky soon 
 brought the color to his cheeks. As he revived, and 
 was seen to be unhurt, so did the better feelings leave 
 the hearts of his persecutors. He was induced to eat, 
 and to drink a cup of hot coffee, topped off with more 
 of that universal panacea, whisky, and was told that 
 he would be given another chance ; this time he would 
 
THE KID. 59 
 
 have two hundred feet start. Three men were ap- 
 pointed to examine all pistols and extract bullets, the 
 three to stand with loaded weapons, and shoot the 
 first man that fired before the word. The Kid, how- 
 ever, had no knowledge of this ; but his former escape, 
 the bite of food, the hot coffee and. numerous whiskies, 
 gave him renewed courage when he was again sta- 
 tioned for a start. 
 
 At the word "Go," he went like the bullet from a 
 rifle, and, as he passed the mark, every gun was fired, 
 accompanied by a yell from the shooters. The Kid 
 had been so strengthened by his slight meal and the 
 improved programme, that he attained a speed that 
 made it doubtful if a bullet could have caught him. 
 In an inconceivably short time he had disappeared over 
 the ridge, and was out of danger ; but he continued 
 running as if on urgent business Calabazas business, 
 so to say. His splendid physique stood him in good 
 stead ; for Pete-the-rancher said that when he passed 
 his place, he was running so fast that there was a 
 draught on each side of the trail for two weeks after- 
 ward. But then every one knew old Pete's failing. 
 
 Crandall, when he so hurriedly departed, had ridden 
 to the Mexican Custom House at the Line, where he 
 intended to remain until assured of the Kid's perma- 
 nent departure from Calabazas. Just at dusk he was 
 sitting at a large table in the officer's waiting room, 
 deeply engaged in a game of solitaire, and near him 
 stood a bottle of Mescal, from which he drew inspira- 
 tion from time to time. Suddenly a shadow flitted 
 across the table ; Crandall looked up and saw The 
 Kid. The Kid at the same moment recognized Crau- 
 
60 CALABAZAS. 
 
 dall. Both were equally frightened, and both equally 
 at loss in the emergency. Simultaneously each sought 
 safety under the table. As they met, each was con- 
 vinced that the other was determined on deadly 
 revenge. lacking each other in close embrace, they 
 lustily bellowed in unison, "Don't shoot ! I give up ! 
 I haven't any gun ! I am your friend!" The aston- 
 ished Mexican officers attempted to separate them by 
 grabbing their legs. Simultaneously releasing each 
 other, and backing from under the table, they straight- 
 ened up, gazed fixedly at one another, and together 
 slowly left the Custom House, thoughtfully walked to 
 the adjacent distillery, where each drank two glasses of 
 Mescal, and separated without having once exchanged 
 a word. Crandall saddled his horse and started for 
 Calabazas. The Kid returned to the Nogales' Custom 
 House, and enlightened the puzzled Mexican officers 
 as to this last exhibition of Gringo (American) eccen- 
 tricity. 
 
 Crandall grieved very much over the rewards that 
 he was convinced he had lost by the Kid's escape. 
 He was not long permitted to retain the evidences of 
 his valor ; the pistols, the knife, and the belt were 
 taken by different parties with a record to satisfy 
 claims made by them, that the Kid had received cer- 
 tain loans (forced) of poker and faro chips to the full 
 value of his assets ; all that was left to Crandall was 
 the glory. He ever claimed that his lightning trip to 
 the Line was in pursuit of the Kid, and comforted 
 himself in a great measure by cornering unsophisticated 
 Easterners who might tarry at Calabazas, telling them 
 of his valor and heroism in capturing the "Terror" 
 
THE KID. 6l 
 
 that had run the town, never failing to mention the 
 vast imaginary rewards that he had lost by that gen- 
 tleman's departure for the Line. After the Kid's ex- 
 perience, no stranger became a chief in Calabazas 
 unless his record was proven by deeds, instead of 
 rumors. The very name, " Texas Kid," was a stench 
 in Calabazan nostrils, and that dime novel youth was 
 ever after spoken of as the ' * Calabazas Kid. ' ' 
 
 There must be many who will recollect the extra- 
 ordinary manner in which this green Eastern boy 
 dominated the town the hardest in Arizona for two 
 weeks. Let us hope the lesson was not lost on the 
 Kid, that he returned to his widowed mother, and 
 lost all desire to emulate the mythical Cow-boy of 
 dime novel celebrity. 
 
THE CA^ABAZAS PREACHER. 
 
 HIS ARRIVAL HIS SERMON HIS BACKSLIDING HIS 
 DEPARTURE FOR THE LINE. 
 
 HE came into Calabazas Saturday morning, riding 
 a small clay-bank mule. It was not past seven o'clock, 
 still, at this early hour the fervid rays of Arizona's 
 sun was beating down with an intensity that would 
 have caused an epidemic of sunstroke in the Eastern 
 cities ; but the dry air of Arizona enabled one to with- 
 stand the baking heat, and to go about one's daily 
 affairs without danger, simply discomfort. 
 
 The mule ambled along at a slouchy gait, half walk, 
 half trot, his tail nervously twitching at each step. 
 His ears were extraordinarily long, and would have 
 been so for the very largest of his kind. One of the 
 ears was pointed forward, and the other flapped lazily 
 against his head with the movements of his body ; 
 his eyes half closed and sleepy, would lead one to be- 
 lieve him a harmless, well-disposed animal, until 
 closer scrutiny developed that very much subdued 
 deviltry lurked under the sleepy looking, deceptive 
 eyelids. The rider's legs were as much too long for 
 the ordinary man, as his mule's ears were too long 
 
THE PREACHER. 63 
 
 for the average mule. Consequently the shortened 
 stirrups brought his knees about to a level with the 
 saddle seat, or a little higher. His eyes were half 
 closed, and squinting under the brim of his hat, as if 
 he was in deep thought, or wished to protect them 
 from the direct glare of the sun. There was some- 
 thing about his thin lips and half-closed eyes that 
 fastened one's attention ; something undefinable 
 and unfixable, but that once seen, kept a person 
 thinking of their owner. 
 
 The traveler was dressed in brown linen trousers, 
 had no vest on, and wore a long linen duster, which 
 being permitted to fly open, displayed a checked calico 
 shirt. His whole apparel showed the effects of con- 
 stant and careless usage, or that it and the washtub 
 had but small acquaintance. At the back of his old 
 McClellan saddle was tied a small, black valise, much 
 the worse for wear, and of the cheapest kind. He 
 appeared to be about forty-five years of age, his face 
 thin, pale and freckled, wore a look of the greatest 
 solemnity. A mass of fiery red hair topped the face, 
 and a faded black cavalry hat, with limp, flapping 
 brim, topped the hair. A scraggly red beard, grown 
 in the style popularly known as " Gal way chokers, " 
 protected his throat. There was a singular resemb- 
 lance between the man and the clay-bank mule, and 
 this extremely hot morning was evidently a source of 
 discomfort to both. 
 
 As the man entered the town, quite an amount of 
 interest was excited. He did not have the look or 
 dress of a trader, prospector, rancher, gambler, 
 saloon-keeper, cattle-man, rustler, or detective. The 
 
64 CALABAZAS. 
 
 occupations of all in that country were comprised in 
 the above, and the question arose as to "Who the 
 devil was he ? Where the devil did he come from ? 
 What the devil's business brought him to Calabazas? 
 or, Where the devil was he going ? " Of course such 
 questions were not put to the stranger, but were in 
 the nature of inquiries amongst the loungers, and were 
 far more forcibly expressed than has been written; 
 for the Calabazans were a profane and suspicious 
 people, always keeping an eye open for possible law 
 officers in disguise. 
 
 The traveler, upon reaching the store, dismounted, 
 fastened his mule by throwing the reins to the ground 
 the usual method in cattle countries and entered the 
 building. After casting a rapid look around, he 
 turned to the store-keeper and asked concerning ac- 
 commodations for himself and animal in the town. 
 He was given proper directions, thanked his informant, 
 and led his mule to the Custom House corral. After 
 seeing that faithful animal attended to, he hied him- 
 self to the Palace Hotel, and at that Epicurian retreat 
 almost created a panic, by reason of the ferocity, mag- 
 nitude, and indiscriminateness of his appetite. After 
 the morning meal was over, Cum Sing gave vent to 
 most doleful forebodings, saying to Hi Sing and Lo 
 Sing, "Je Cli ! him man eat one mo' bleakfast allee 
 same dis morning him bleak me all up. ' ' 
 
 Having attended to the wants of his inner man, to 
 the imminent danger of bankrupting Cum Sing, our 
 traveler returned to the store, where several of the 
 more prominent citizens had gathered under various 
 excuses, but principally to discuss this enigma of a 
 
THE PREACHFR. 65 
 
 new comer. Their curiosity was soon to be satisfied, 
 for the traveler entered the store, bade them all "Good 
 morning," and introducing himself as the Reverend 
 Abimilech Jones, said that he was a minister of the 
 gospel, and had visited Calabazas with the intention 
 of holding religious services the following day, pro- 
 vided he could find a tent wherein to hold them. 
 
 The Rev. Jones asked concerning the religious bent 
 of the tribe of Calabazas, and incidentally mentioned 
 the fact that he was an itinerant preacher, bound to 
 no particular creed, but was constantly on the move, 
 holding services and erecting church edifices by sub- 
 scription in God-forsaken towns. His hearers hast- 
 ened to relieve the Reverend gentleman's anxiety by 
 assuring him that plenty of tents were to be had, of 
 sufficient capacity to contain any congregation that 
 he was likely to bring together in Calabazas, and 
 that he might "bet his life " that, in coming to Cala- 
 bazas, he had struck the most God-forsaken town in 
 all Arizona, not excepting Tubac. The Rev. Jones 
 piously thanked all, with many quotations from Scrip- 
 ture, to the effect that God blessed well directed 
 and well meant efforts, and said that he had no fears 
 about being able to gather a fair congregation, " for 
 the devil was not always as black as he was painted," 
 and very much more to the same effect. There was 
 something about the man, as ordinary as he looked, 
 that impressed a hearer that he was no fool, and in 
 all likelihood he would be quite successful in anything 
 he undertook. 
 
 The store-keeper had introduced him to several of 
 the more high-toned gamblers, saloon and hurdy- 
 
66 CALABAZAS. 
 
 house keepers present. After a few minutes' talk 
 with them on general topics, in which he seemed 
 remarkably well posted, he said that he would now 
 look around for a tent in which to hold his meeting. 
 Very much to every one's surprise, three or four of 
 the leading citizens volunteered to assist him in select- 
 ing a tent. After viewing several vacant tents, all of 
 which were declared to be too small, they at last 
 pitched upon one which he said would be suitable in 
 every way; the same had formerly been used as a 
 gambling tent and saloon, but the owner having 
 become tangled in some financial complications, the 
 property was now under a Tucson attachment cloud, 
 and in charge of Constable Davis. The tent was a 
 large one-room affair, and bore upon its front the very 
 appropriate legend, " Rest for the Weary." The con- 
 stable was fortunately in town, and, when called upon 
 by the preacher, consented to its use for divine services 
 free of charge. 
 
 Having obtained the permission, the preacher, ex- 
 cusing himself by a quotation from scripture in refer- 
 ence to sluggards, peeled off his duster, and went to 
 work with a will, and without assistance ; he moved 
 the gambling tables to the front of the bar ; emptied 
 the shelves behind the counter of all their ornamental 
 glassware and bottles, which he put under the counter 
 and out of sight ; he then swept the floor, the used up 
 cards being hardly the proper carpet for a gospel tent. 
 
 The tent cleansed, the Rev. Jones rustled around 
 town gathering spare benches, cracker and canned 
 goods boxes, spare chairs, or anything else he could 
 utilize as a seat. He was so constantly on the move 
 
THE PREACHfER. 6j 
 
 that he appeared to be scattered all over Calabazas as 
 it were, and, until he had gathered them into one 
 place, no one would have dreamt that there were as 
 many benches and chairs in the town. The broiling 
 mid-day heat did not appear to affect him in the least, 
 though streams of perspiration were pouring from 
 everyone else. Though all were seeking shady nooks 
 in which to cool off, the Rev. Jones kept right on at 
 work, and never turned a hair; he did not appear to 
 have a drop of spare water in his system to sweat with. 
 No one volunteered to assist, nor did he ask for 
 assistance. 
 
 Most of those who saw him working, ridiculed him, 
 and cast obloquy upon his parents for having begot- 
 ten such a congenital idiot, but when the evening had 
 come, the Rev. Jones' untiring activity had gained 
 him a measure of respect and sympathy from these 
 scorners, and many of those who had laughed loudest 
 in the morning, now, with binding oaths, declared 
 their intention of going to hear him the next day, 
 for they " would be - - if he should have all this 
 work for nothing. ' ' 
 
 By supper time, the tent being fully prepared for 
 the next day's congregation, the Reverend gentleman 
 rested from his labors, and ate such an abundant 
 supper that Cum Sing was filled with consternation 
 and unutterable w r oe. Supper eaten, our Reverend 
 again began his labors for the morrow. He called at 
 the store and Custom House, giving those whom he 
 found there a hearty invitation to hear him the next 
 day. He then visited the prominent saloons and 
 gambling tents, and, watching for an opportune 
 
68 CALABAZAS. 
 
 moment, when the banker was settling a keno game, 
 he jumped upon a table, and to the amazement of the 
 proprietors and guests, shouted at the top of his voice, 
 ' Keno!" 
 
 Having drawn attention to himself, to the suspen- 
 sion of other business, the Reverend invited them to 
 church on the morrow, so that when death came they 
 could call "Keno! and rake in the heavenly pot." 
 He brought up suggestions of their childhood, and 
 implored them to save their souls, or if they didn't 
 care for their own, to come and see the souls of others 
 saved, for he declared he would have many of them 
 on the mourners' bench before the next night. He 
 then jumped from the table and quickly disappeared, 
 to visit another tent and enact a similar role. As he 
 retired, many audible remarks could be heard, such as, 
 " When the h 1 did he get loose? " "Who is that 
 -jay? " " Great - -! but he has gall ! " Or a 
 parting invitation to him, to "go and take a sand bath 
 in the river bottom," would be extended with much 
 asperity. Nevertheless, after the shock of their first 
 surprise wore off, and the incident had been talked 
 threadbare, most of those present declared their in- 
 tention of going to hear him preach, "Just for a lark," 
 or because ' ' he was a bird for gall. ' ' 
 
 The preacher next called at the hurdy-houses ; 
 entering one, he looked on with solemn visage until 
 the dance was ended, the bar visited, and the girls 
 were seated. Then, before he was suspected of such 
 a move, he mounted a chair or bench and yelled, 
 "Fire! Fire!" With these words for a text, he 
 warned them of the hereafter, and invited them to 
 
THE PREACHER. 69 
 
 church. He skilfully flattered the girls, telling them 
 of their youthful looks, that indicated innocent maiden- 
 hood, and that the Almighty would make cherished 
 brides of them all, etc. After which he departed as 
 quickly as he had appeared, his long linen duster 
 slapping funereally against his lathe-like, rambling legs, 
 leaving his auditors perplexed as to whether " H 1's 
 broke loose," as they suggested, or that lightning 
 would strike Calabazas next. The Preacher was fol- 
 lowed from each hurdy-house by a few choice spirits- 
 men who were always ready for a joke who wished 
 to see him " give a game" at the next house, and to 
 laugh at the genuine, paralyzed surprise of Tom, Dick, 
 or Harry, at seeing their temples of pleasure used as 
 an exhorting place by the * ' Tramp gospel sharp. ' ' 
 
 By the time the Rev. Jones had in this unwarrant- 
 able manner invaded the last hurdy-tent, quite a crowd 
 followed him, all of whom had derived so much amuse- 
 ment from the manner in which Tom, Dick, or Harry 
 had accepted the intrusions, that they shook hands 
 with the Preacher, and declared him to be a " dandy," 
 and ''just their size," and "that they be- -if 
 they weren't coming to his show." The places vis- 
 ited were rather benefited than otherwise ; for the 
 Reverend's talk of death and hell-fire created a thirst 
 amongst his hearers that conld only be quenched by 
 numerous visits to the bar, much to the profit and 
 conciliation of the hurdy-men, and the restored equan- 
 imity of their patrons. 
 
 Our Preacher did not neglect the heathen Chinese, 
 but extended them an invitation with an earnestness 
 that convinced them ' ' He pleacher him clazy . ' ' That 
 
70 CAI,ABAZAS. 
 
 suspicious boniface, Cum Sing, before accepting, in- 
 quired of the Rev. Jones with much seriousness, 
 " When you go away ?" 
 
 ' * To-morrow night, if God is willing. ' ' 
 
 "All lite, me cum see. You sure you go away 
 to-malla?" 
 
 By midnight the Rev. Jones had canvassed the town, 
 and retired to rest on the hay stack in the corral, re- 
 marking that he valued the mule highly, and had a 
 partiality for a hay bed. This was not considered as 
 peculiar ; for most strangers after meeting the people, 
 and learning of the proximity of Calabazas to the 
 Mexican boundary, preferred the clean hay and the 
 certainty of finding their animal in the morning to 
 the cat infested Palace Hotel floor, or an uneasy night 
 on a saloon bench or table. 
 
 Now, most men in the Preacher's place would have 
 considered that they had exerted themselves enough. 
 Very few of the L,ord's Shepherds would have ac- 
 complished in a week a tithe of his one day's work; 
 no! not to have saved every precious or worthless 
 soul in Arizona, much less Calabazas ; but the Rev. 
 Jones never wearied in the good work. Sunday morn- 
 ing he was up with the sun, giving the finishing 
 touches to his tent. At breakfast he drove Cum Sing 
 to , grief and distraction by the celerity with which 
 vast quantities of bacon, beans, mush, canned stuff of 
 various kinds, slapjacks, molasses, coffee, tea, etc., 
 disappeared down his slender throat into his bottomless 
 stomach. 
 
 After breakfast he was again hastening over the 
 town ; this time to have all of the business tents closed 
 
THE PREACHER. 71 
 
 between the hours of IOA.M. and i P.M. His un- 
 limited impudence and unquenchable zeal had so com- 
 pletely upset the whole population, that he could not 
 surprise them by anything he now did, and though he 
 advanced his requests to close in an appealing tone, 
 far from commanding, yet those appeals were received 
 almost as orders that must be obeyed. He advised 
 with the store-keeper that he might as well close and 
 come also. The store-keeper pondered that he wanted 
 a few hours' rest, and as Handsome George and Curly 
 Pete were going, he guessed he would close during 
 the hours mentioned and go too, "just for fun." 
 
 At the Golden Fleece, Pantheon, Coliseum, and 
 other prominent places of liquid and chance entertain- 
 ment, the owners were told appealingly that * ' I have no 
 objection to your keeping open on Sunday, but want 
 you to close between the stated hours to-day. ' ' These 
 men who would have cared for the wants or objections 
 of no one else, agreed to close and come to church ; 
 and to make sure that none would remain open to 
 harvest shekels from the thirsty customers of the 
 closed places, the proprietors of the said places accom- 
 panied the Preacher around to the other saloons, and 
 by cajolery, ridicule, or threat, induced them to close 
 also. As one after another signed the agreement, it 
 became less troublesome to get others ; for these people 
 disliked to have the name of being stingy, contrary or 
 unaccommodating, among their associates. 
 
 So vigorously did the preacher work, that when the 
 hour often o'clock A.M. had come, a stranger enter- 
 ing Calabazas, and seeing every place closed, w'ould 
 have thought that he had found the most God-fearing, 
 
72 CALABAZAS. 
 
 moral, and law-abiding place on earth. The town 
 was so sedate and quiet that a random pistol shot 
 would have caused a general faint. The Palace Hotel 
 flies buzzed with a subdued buzz, and flung themselves 
 despairingly into the molasses, mustard, butter, and 
 vinegar, with the most reckless abandon and turpitude. 
 
 Services were to begin at n o'clock. At 10.30 A.M. 
 the ' ' Rest for the Weary ' ' was rapidly filling up with 
 the strangest and least religious congregation ever seen 
 gathered in a house of worship. Before n o'clock 
 the tent was jammed; every hurdy or other girl, 
 gambler, rustler, saloon man, and loafer in Calabazas 
 were there, and all simply from curiosity. A more 
 serious gathering one was never a member of ; not a 
 smile or gesture of ridicule was to be seen in all that 
 congregation, composed of about two hundred and 
 fifty of the most hardened characters that had ever 
 been known to meet in one tent. Cum Sing, with a 
 horror of mob violence, stood near the door, where 
 escape was easy, should this " clazy pleacher" with 
 such a suspicious and destructive appetite give utter- 
 ance to anti-Chinese sentiments likely to arouse ill 
 feeling. 
 
 Occasionally from the audience could be heard in 
 subdued, serious tones, "Hello, Bill! What in - 
 brings you here ?" " - you, Jack ! don't push me 
 off the box ! " ' ' What in blazes are you crowding 
 for ; go buy a whole tent ?" ' ' Wonder when his jags 
 will open his game ? " or from some impatient mem- 
 ber, ' ' Maybe his nibs is playing us for suckers ! ' ' 
 which last was more dreaded in Calabazas than to be 
 spotted by a detective. Feminine voices would be 
 
THE PREACHER. 73 
 
 heard to say, u Jennie is as full as a goat." " God ! 
 what brings Dolly here ? " "If Bob catches Birdie 
 praying, he will kick her ribs in." "Ain't Bonnie 
 fixed up for a mash? " or, " If Lize didn't wash her 
 face the preacher would faint. ' ' There was no disre- 
 spect or sacrilege intended, they were simply passing 
 remarks in their own way, as more reputable congre- 
 gations are in the habit of far more sacrilegiously 
 doing in choicer language. 
 
 At precisely eleven o'clock our preacher entered 
 from the rear, linen duster and all. He placed a 
 chair on a faro table in front of the bar, and mounted the 
 table. With his appearance all talking and whispering 
 ceased. He had neither Bible nor hymn book. Looking 
 solemnly over his audience, he said, "We will open 
 the service with that beautiful hymn entitled, " Green- 
 land's Icy Mountains," and I would like to have the 
 audience join in singing it," 
 
 The Rev. Jones had a most lovely tenor voice, and, 
 as he gave the pitch and started the hymn, there was 
 surprise and pleasure visible on every face. The first 
 verse was sung by himself, after which he again looked 
 over the audience slowly and said, ' ' We will begin that 
 hymn over again, and I wish all to sing." He then 
 recited the first two lines and sang them, a few of 
 the voices of the women joining in. This was not 
 satisfactory, and he insisted that the whole audience 
 should join whether they could sing or not. He again 
 recited the lines. This time the hymn was sung with 
 great vim, as a number had caught the time and 
 joined in, as many of them said afterwards, "just for 
 
74 CALABAZAS. 
 
 luck," and " because his nibs was business in q 
 minute. ' ' 
 
 Here were men and women who for years had never 
 used but profane or vulgar words, now singing 
 hymns at the command of this tramp preacher, who 
 was gifted with such wonderful controlling power. 
 Women corrupt in soul and body, with brightened 
 eyes and smiling faces, raised their shrill voices in 
 hymnal praises, the more vigorously as the long-for- 
 gotten melody and words rushed to their memories. 
 Who can tell what childish memories were brought to 
 mind by this unwonted scene ? For the time being 
 they were honestly sincere, and no doubt thoughts 
 that they were still within the pale floated through 
 their minds, when they saw how well they could ape 
 respectability this memorable Calabazas Sunday. Ah ! 
 if the poor things could have but regained that re- 
 spectability, salvation would have bothered them but 
 very little. It is possible that the title of the hymn 
 made it attractive such a sultry day, and in such a 
 crowded, suffocatingly close tent. The very words 
 were cooling to the mouth. 
 
 After the hymn was a prayer, well conceived, short, 
 impersonal except as to the Deity, and well delivered. 
 None of the audience knelt, though no doubt they 
 would have done so had that man of excellent judg- 
 ment and wonderful power requested it of them. 
 After the prayer and a moment's rest in the chair, the 
 preacher arose and begged their strict attention until 
 he had finished his remarks and sermon. He re- 
 gretted very much that he Jiad left his small Bible at 
 Tubac, but as he knew the Bible by heart he could 
 
PRKACHER. 75 
 
 select a text. This he proved by reciting verses ex- 
 tending from Genesis to Revelation, and there was 
 none to dispute their correctness. 
 
 He then gave out his text, which, he said his hear- 
 ers, if curious and had such a thing as a Bible, could 
 find in the gospel of St. Matthew, 27 chapter, 3d and 
 5th verses, as follows : 
 
 "Then Judas which had betrayed him, when he 
 saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and 
 brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the Chief 
 Priest and elders. 
 
 "And he cast down the pieces of silver in the tem- 
 ple and departed, and went and hanged himself." 
 
 From this text the Rev. Jones preached one of the 
 most extraordinary sermons ever preached or listened 
 to by mortal man. No pen or descriptive power is 
 equal to the task of doing full justice to his gestures, 
 language and intonation. It can be given but feebly 
 from notes taken during the sermon. He said: 
 
 " My dear brethren, I have selected this text as 
 peculiarly applicable to the people of Arizona as a 
 whole and to the people of Calabazas in particular. I 
 will digress so far as to say, I am rejoiced to see so 
 man y gentlemen and ladies present ; the more espe- 
 cially as I was told in the town of Tubac that a 
 preacher would never live long enough after reaching 
 Calabazas to preach a sermon. I am also rejoiced to 
 see some in my audience who were very doubtful of 
 my having any listeners at all. I am very glad to see 
 you all so nicely dressed for this occasion, and I would 
 wish to apologise for appearing before you in such an 
 unclerical garb, but I was compelled to leave my trunk 
 
76 CALABAZAS. 
 
 at Tubac to be forwarded by stage. I may never see 
 it again. 
 
 Now, my dear brethren, you have all been children, 
 and as children in Sunday schools you have been 
 told of Judas and taught that Judas was a vile, bad 
 man, and deserving of everlasting infamy. If you 
 have heard his name mentioned from the pulpit, it has 
 ever been in contumelious and reproachful terms ; but, 
 brethren, Judas was a scape-goat for the other eleven 
 apostles ; his memory has been unjustly abused and 
 vilified, and he has my sympathy, as he should have 
 that of every right thinking man. Now, what kind 
 of man was this Judas ? I will tell you : 
 
 First He was a man of good reputation. 
 
 Second He was a man of abounding faith, and 
 utterly devoid of suspicion. 
 
 Third He was an honest man. 
 
 Fourth He was a brave man. 
 
 Altogether he was what we would call here a 
 "square man." 
 
 Brethren, read the Bible from beginning to end, and 
 I defy you to find one word reflecting in any way upon 
 the character of Judas, until after his death, when four 
 apostles out of the eleven claimed that he betrayed the 
 Saviour. Mind you, he was dead! Had hanged 
 himself! 
 
 Brethren, Judas was unsuspicious, and, like all un- 
 suspicious people, probably did many impulsive things 
 that made the others from their own evil minds 
 suspect him of evil. He had an abounding faith in 
 his Master, far more than did any of the others. Had 
 he not seen him raise the dead, give sight to the 
 
THK PREACHKR. 77 
 
 blind, feed the multitude on the mount, cure the 
 leper, and turn unhealthy water to cheering wine at 
 Cana ? Had he not heard him say that he was the 
 Son of God ? Had he not heard him predict destruc- 
 tion to the temple, and awful disasters to God's chosen 
 people, and these same people persecuting him ? Can 
 you blame him for believing that no harm could reach 
 his Master from human hands ? Would you have be- 
 lieved so in his place ? I say you would not. 
 
 As to his honesty : He was the one the twelve 
 selected for Treasurer. Would this have been the 
 case if they had suspected his honesty? He was 
 treasurer without bonds ; think of that ! How many 
 of those that slur his memory to-day from the pulpit 
 could get such a position without bonds? Why, 
 brethren, they could not be cashiers in beer cellars 
 without giving bonds. 
 
 Nowhere in the Bible can you find a word reflecting 
 on the honesty of Judas, not even from the eleven sur- 
 viving disciples ; yet you cannot read a paper of to-day 
 without reading of some modern disciple defaulting 
 either with the church money or one of the church 
 flock ! They cannot safely throw stones at Judas, not 
 at all! 
 
 Brethren, was Judas a coward, or was St. Matthew 
 on ? After the arrest of their Master and his condemn- 
 ation, when the eleven were in hiding because they 
 lacked faith and courage, poor Judas went openly to 
 the temple, threw the money down, and then went off 
 and hanged himself, at the very time that these saints 
 were in hiding! And St. Peter, who was the "Rock," 
 and to whom the Keys of Heaven were given, was at 
 
78 CAI,ABAZAS. 
 
 that very moment denying his Master in such a das- 
 tardly manner, that even the roosters couldn't stand 
 it without protesting ! 
 
 Now, brethren, we will suppose Judas did betray 
 his Master, what was his motive ? I claim that his 
 faith was so great that he would not believe his Master 
 could be injured, or that his Father would not protect 
 him to the confusion of his persecutors. Judas' whole 
 course as laid out by St. Matthew, indicates this ; prob- 
 ably Judas thought, as we of to-day think, that to live 
 on the enemy is the proper plan when campaigning ! 
 no harm could be done, and he had the enemy's money 
 in the company's purse. Avarice was not the induce- 
 ment; for it is not claimed that Judas reserved the 
 thirty pieces for himself. 
 
 When Judas saw that the Son could not help him- 
 self, and the Father did not help him, what did he do? 
 Did he skip to another country and live on the fruits 
 of his treachery as is done nowadays ? No ; he gave 
 the money back, and gave his life to atone for his mis- 
 taken faith. But brethren, St. Matthew was in hiding 
 as were the others all this time, and had to make up 
 some tale to cover their cowardice. Of course he said 
 that one of the company chopped the ear off the High 
 Priest's servant, but he does not say it was a disciple 
 that did so. There were many believers in the crowd, 
 and it may have been one of them. The apostles 
 wrangled just as much in their day as Christians do in 
 our day ; and if it was an apostle that defended the 
 Saviour, jealousy has buried his name in oblivion. 
 But I do not believe St. Matthew ; I do not believe 
 Judas betrayed the Saviour ? but I do believe that his 
 
THE PREACHER. 79 
 
 love and faith were so strong, that when he found his 
 dearly loved Master was to die, he preferred to die 
 also, and go to the glory that he believed his loved 
 Master could give him after death. 
 
 I think the four apostles were a poor lot to let their 
 Saviour die without an effort to save him, and then 
 blame poor Judas for it all after he was dead ! 
 
 Now, brethren, when we cast stones at Judas, we 
 should remember that we are all more or less Judases 
 to take the name in its biblical significance so far as 
 betrayals go. Have we as many undoubted virtues 
 to offset our faults as he had ? Take the thousands of 
 preachers living in luxury and idleness, neither spin- 
 ning nor weaving, would not they have hard times if 
 there had been no Judas ? Judas was their benefactor, 
 and they scorn him. Kven you men would not do 
 that. 
 
 These preachers sell their Master yearly for far more 
 than thirty pieces of silver; but who ever heard of 
 their returning any money ? They have deluged the 
 world with blood, by the angry passions that they 
 have stirred up against those that do not believe with 
 them ; but who ever knew one so repentant as to go 
 and hang himself for his deeds ? Their charity is a 
 charity that consists in blackguarding each other, 
 and begging dollars from the generous for the poor, of 
 which dollars they spend ten cents on a soup ticket to 
 give to a beggar, and ninety cents on a porterhouse 
 steak for themselves. Brethren, Judas had far, far 
 more charity than any of them. 
 
 The men of to-day are almost all Judases for betrayal ; 
 they betray each other daily and hourly for far less 
 
80 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 and much more than thirty pieces of silver ; they will 
 work for a man until they gain his confidence, and 
 then rob him. They will advise their intimate friends 
 to invest in sure schemes, and then divide the boodle 
 with the schemers. They will shake your hand, eat 
 your food, and live under your roof, to scandalize you 
 afterwards. Sons betray their fathers, and brethren 
 their brethren ; but do you ever hear of one of them 
 continuing to emulate the example of Judas by hang- 
 ing himself? Not much, you don't. My friends, as 
 bad as Judas was claimed to be, if he lived to-day, he 
 would go and hang himself in disgust at being com- 
 pelled to associate with the average man. 
 
 And the women ! The women are all Judases for 
 betrayal. They cannot afford to contemn his mem- 
 ory ! Just gather a few women together, then have 
 another come in, and hear them exclaim, "Oh! its 
 you ! how glad I am you came ! * ' here they kiss, and 
 all set down to tear some other and absent woman to 
 tatters. One woman goes out, and we hear, "Oh! 
 wasn't you surprised that she came, for she knows 
 we hate her ! for she paints, ' 'from one ; * ' she steals, ' ' 
 from another; "she lies;" "she's dirty; " " she is 
 unfaithful;" "she is everything mean." Another 
 one goes, and the same rending process follows, until 
 only one is left, and this one talks to herself of the 
 last one in her company. As each woman leaves the 
 crowd, she visits another crowd, and tears to pieces 
 those she. has just left, and so it goes on until a 
 woman's friendship for a woman is a byword and 
 reproach ; but who ever heard of one of them hanging 
 herself, as a partial atonement for the misery and 
 
THE PREACHER. 8l 
 
 suffering caused her own sex by her biting, scandaliz- 
 ing and uncharitable tongue. So far as women being 
 Judases to men are concerned, there is nothing to be 
 said against them ; honors are easy between them so 
 far. The men tell their wives that they are going to 
 the club. The women tell their husbands they are 
 going to sit up with a sick friend, and both have a. 
 picnic ; but neither go and hang themselves. 
 
 Brethren, I like Calabazas, and all towns of its 
 kind. I like the people. I could raise more money 
 for charity in this town in thirty minutes, than I could 
 in a large city in thirty days. You folks don't sneak 
 around in doing things ; yet you women go to a city, 
 and you would meet with contemptuous looks and 
 slurs from fashionable ladies who are hugged by 
 dancers because they like it ; but you women dance to 
 earn a living. 
 
 Let you men visit a city, and a sorry life you would 
 have waiting for an invitation to a social dance ; but 
 if you are willing to pay for the same, 3^011 are called 
 low and vicious. They are not as sincere or honest as 
 was this Judas of old. Visit their fine churches, and 
 you will see, snugly resting in their cushioned seats, 
 men who spent, the preceding night in saloons or 
 gambling rooms. They will pass you by, because you 
 gamble with cards, yet those same men will gamble 
 with stocks and in exchanges, and will lay awake all 
 night devising some safe scheme to rob their fellow 
 man. If you boys do play a * ' sure thing ' ' game, you 
 at least risk your lives in doing so. 
 
 Brethren, dancing, singing, and gambling or swear- 
 ing are not sins when done openly, and in a proper 
 
82 CALABAZAS. 
 
 spirit. In olden times, dancing before the Lord was 
 the proper caper. The Saviour made no bones of 
 attending wedding feasts and helping along the fun. 
 You read your Bibles and you will be astonished at 
 the amount of dancing that was done before the Lord. 
 (The Rev. Jones here quoted numerous verses in 
 'support of his assertion.) As for drinking, well, no 
 man has a right to make a hog of himself at it, but not 
 only does the Bible approve of it in moderation, but 
 suggests that it is good for man. The Lord did not 
 consider the marriage feast complete till he had con- 
 verted the saddening water into joyful wine. (Here 
 verses were quoted bearing upon drinking and wine 
 making.) 
 
 Gambling is all right if you don't play a "sure 
 thing" game on your fellow man. In olden time 
 every doubtful question or bargain was settled by lot. 
 (Here more applicable verses were quoted.) Why 
 right to-day, you enter any church fair and you will 
 see the most bare-faced gambling by wholesale, and 
 appeals by beautiful women and girls to the gambling 
 instinct of those who hesitate; yet these selfsame 
 people are ever trying to jail gamblers and stop gamb- 
 ling, and by their laws drive them "to swindling de- 
 vices that could not be practiced openly. Friends, 
 your secret games are always the worst and most dan- 
 gerous ones. 
 
 Every gambler packs his Bible with him if he reads 
 his cards correctly. Many of you have heard of the 
 gambler that was converted and went to church. The 
 priest, in going around, saw him kneeling with a card 
 
THK PREACHER. 83 
 
 ' * lay out ' ' before him and upbraided him for commit- 
 ting such a sacrilege. 
 
 "Father," says the sport, "they are my Bible." 
 Quoth the Priest, "They are the Devil's Bible." 
 Says the sport, ' ' Not so, and I will convince you of 
 it ; for instance 
 
 " The ' Ace' reminds me that there is but one true 
 God. 
 
 "The ' Deuce' that he made ' Adam and Eve,' and 
 sinless. 
 
 "The 'Trey,' of the 'three prophets' who were 
 thrown in the ' fiery furnace,' and of the * three Wise 
 Men ' guided by the ' Star of Bethlehem. ' 
 
 "The ' Four,' of the ' four Evangelists.' 
 
 "The ' Five,' of the ' five wise and five foolish vir- 
 gins,' of the 'five loaves' that fed the multitude, 
 and the ' five plagues of Egypt. ' 
 
 " The ' Six,' of the days ' God labored ' in creating 
 the world. 
 
 " The ' Seven,' of the day he rested from his labors 
 and made hoi}'', and of ' Pharaoh's dreams.' 
 
 " The ' Eight,' of ' Noah's family ' saved from the 
 flood. 
 
 "The ' Nine,' of all things created by God ; for this 
 number contains all the numerals, and can be added, 
 divided, and multiplied, but nine can always be pro- 
 duced from the answer. 
 
 " The ' Ten,' of the ' Ten Commandments' given to 
 Moses on Mount Sinai. 
 
 " The ' Knaves,' of the false prophets of the Amale- 
 kites. 
 
 "The ' Queens,' of ' Sarah, wife of Abraham,' of 
 
84 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 1 Pharaoh's Daughter,' of the * Queen ofSheba,' and of 
 4 Queen Esther.' 
 
 " The Kings, of * Kings Saul, David, Solomon, and 
 Herod.' 
 
 ' * The ' Diamond Suit, ' that salvation is precious 
 above price. 
 
 ' ' The ' Heart Suit, ' that the Saviour gave his heart's 
 blood for sinners. 
 
 "The 'Club Suit,' that certain punishment awaits 
 sinner. 
 
 "The ' Spade Suit,' that the end of life is death. 
 
 ' ' The ' Four Suits, ' that there are four seasons. 
 
 " The whole pack of cards, that there are fifty- two 
 days of rest and worship in each year." 
 
 As the sport called off each card in turn and the 
 biblical incident it called to mind, the Father blessed 
 him for a good man, though he did use the Devil's 
 Bible. So much for gambling and cards. 
 
 Swearing, my friends, with such as you, is no sin. 
 You do not intend it as a sacrilege, nor do you mean- 
 ingly curse each other. In the Bible somebody is 
 cursing somebody else from the beginning of it to the 
 end. You have sworn so much that the words have 
 come to be your natural mode of expression. In more 
 thickly settled communities they do their cursing, 
 lying, stealing, gambling, and drinking, in private, 
 because they are hypocrites, or moral and physical 
 cowards. You will find as many church members in 
 Hell as you will people from Calabazas. My friends, 
 Calabazas people suit me, as do the people of all such 
 towns save and excepting Tubac. 
 
 This isn't a religious community; but I have never 
 
THK PRICACHKR. 85 
 
 preached to a better behaved or more attentive audi- 
 ence in any city. Tubac is different ; it is an eyesore 
 and scab on the earth ; but Calabazas will yet make 
 its mark. In conclusion I would say, my dear friends, 
 that I thank you for your presence and attention. A 
 collection will be taken up after service, and such as 
 desire to contribute to my present or future wants can 
 have an opportunity of doing so. I would not come 
 into your house and stand around watching the game 
 unless I spent some money, and I feel assured none cf 
 you will take such advantage of me. I want no but- 
 tons or nickels, but faro or poker chips on solid games 
 can be put in. I have confidence in your generosity 
 in spite of what I was told concerning you in Tubac ; 
 don't be Judas-like and betray that confidence. 
 
 Thanking you one and all, we will conclude by sing- 
 ing a hymn you all doubtless have heard, "In the 
 Sweet Bye and Bye. ' ' 
 
 The hymn was sung, a prayer was said, and 
 the preacher then went around with his hat. 
 Between cash and faro chips that were as good 
 his collection amounted to fully one hundred dollars. 
 He then again mounted his table, thanked the audi- 
 ence, and dismissed them with a blessing. 
 
 In less than half an hour every saloon, gambling 
 and hurdy tent was again in full blast, with all ac- 
 cessories. As the Preacher walked to the Palace 
 Hotel, he received many hand shakes; his eloquence 
 and knowledge of the Bible were admiringly spoken 
 of, and he was placed on par with Beecher or Spur- 
 geon. He was declared to be ' ' square, " ' ' a dandy, 
 "a bird," "a lulu," and was given every other 
 
THE PREACHER. 87 
 
 choice title that could express their high estimate of 
 his character and appreciation of his sermon. He was 
 assured in most profanely positive language that, upon 
 his return from Tombstone, if he desired to camp in 
 Calabazas, that they would ' * dig up ' ' enough to sup- 
 port him, and to buy him a church tent ; because his 
 religious views exactly suited them. They called him 
 ' ' Old Man, " and were as proud to be in his company as 
 if he had been the original Judas himself. It was noticed 
 that the ladies danced with greater religious fervor 
 after the sermon, and with unusual agility, as it were. 
 
 If the Rev. Jones had now eaten his supper and 
 gone about his business, he would have been remem- 
 bered as a gifted but eccentric man. He had certainly 
 performed wonders in Calabazas. But the Rev. Jones 
 did not go. He first ate a meal with a consuming 
 appetite that caused Cum Sing to have spasms of 
 horror, then he visited the various games to cash the 
 chips that had been contributed by the different 
 gamblers. 
 
 At midnight a most unearthly row awoke us, and 
 we went out to see what was the matter. It was a 
 disagreement between the Rev. Jones and a rustler 
 over some faro chips, the Preacher claiming that the 
 rustler tried to rob him of them. The Reverend proved 
 to be as ardent a fighter as he was preacher, and gave 
 his opponent a most unmerciful thrashing. I regret 
 to say that our Preacher had an overload of Mescal 
 and whisky aboard. 
 
 It seems that after supper, when he visited the 
 gambling tents, the Reverend was invited to partake 
 of the hospitality of his admirers ; nothing loth, he 
 
88 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 did so. When he went to the faro tables to cash his 
 chips, he was invited to stake them and double them 
 up for the church; this he also did, and continued to 
 double, uninvited, displaying so much sagacity and 
 good judgment in "coppering," that he almost broke 
 two dealers, much to their chagrin and discomfiture. 
 He refreshed himself quite often while despoiling 
 the Philistines to the replenishment of the church's ex- 
 chequer, therefore his inner man contained much Cal- 
 abazas nectar, the only apparent effect of which was 
 to increase the solemnity of his face, and his memory 
 of the scriptures, of which he volubly quoted verses 
 apposite to the various drinks and winnings. He was 
 cashing his last contributed chip at a river-bed resort 
 by staking it on the game, and much to the disgust of 
 the dealer, from that small capital amassing a number 
 of piles of white, red, and blue chips; the assorted 
 colors representing quite a tidy sum for the church. 
 Presently his sleepy eye detected a rustler in the not 
 uncommon practice of stealing a few chips. If the 
 Reverend had possessed a bowie-knife, no doubt the 
 rustler would have paid the common penalty for such 
 offence by losing a finger, but not having the bowie- 
 knife, the Reverend took up his chips, and gave the 
 rogue a straight out blow on the nose, followed by one 
 on the ear, another on the chin, and several others 
 that appeared to hit him all over at once. A blow on 
 the chin knocked the rustler down ; being permitted 
 to stand up again, he invited the Reverend outside to 
 fight it out, which invitation he regretted having 
 extended a few minutes later. It was this row that 
 awakened us. 
 
THE PREACHER. 89 
 
 The Rev. Jones left the defeated rustler, and made a 
 tour of the hurdy-houses to bid farewell to the ladies 
 of his Calabazas flock, which he did with parting 
 waltzes, polkas, and schottisches, to show that he 
 practiced what he preached. At 4 A. M. he called at 
 the Custom House and bade us good-bye. The good 
 man entered the corral, saddled his mule, and departed, 
 humming the hymn known as "Jordan. ' ' His Rever- 
 ence's mule had not been idle meantime ; while his 
 master was practically illustrating the lessons of the 
 morning, the clay-bank mule had become so fascinated 
 by the hay stack, that he had broken his halter and 
 appeased an appetite only equalled by his owner's. 
 After feeding to his heart's content, he had put in the 
 remainder of the night in scraping acquaintance with 
 the other animals in the corral. Whether they 
 objected, or the clay-bank mule was proud, is not 
 known; but as a fact, daylight developed that such 
 animals as had not had some ribs staved in by the 
 clay-bank's active heels, were limping around the 
 corral with bruised hips, legs and shoulders. 
 
 The Rev. Jones did not go to Tombstone, but 
 instead to Nogales, on the boundary line. As a 
 wealthy cattle buyer, he halted at Pete's ranche for a 
 breakfast of tortillas, frijoles, and coffee, with that 
 hospitable pioneer, and remained long enough after- 
 wards to have a civil game of poker with Pete during 
 which he taught that gentleman several tricks with 
 cards and continued on his way with a twenty-five 
 dollar contribution from the old gentleman, that 
 amount having been staked by him on sure hands. 
 
9O CALABAZAS. 
 
 The last heard of the Rev. Jones he was at the 
 Mexican Custom House at Nogales, explaining in per- 
 fect Spanish that he was on the way to Hermosilla to 
 visit the Governor of Sonora, from whom he intended 
 getting a concession to establish a tadpole cannery at 
 the mouth of the Colorado River, there being quite a 
 demand for that delicacy from the Chinese. 
 
 A few days after the Rev. Jones' departure, Cala- 
 bazas was visited by a supernaturally cunning fellow, 
 very secretive, and wearing a disguise the infallible 
 sign of a detective when they do not wish to be known. 
 Simultaneously with the advent of this ' ' ever open 
 eye " of a detective, it was known to all that he was 
 trailing the Preacher, who was no minister at all, nor 
 was his name Jones ; in fact, he was a murderer and 
 robber from Texas or Kansas, and for whose appre- 
 hension a large reward was offered. 
 
 For a long time it was quite imprudent to refer to 
 the Gospel as she was preached in Calabazas. The 
 mention of Judas, or of the sacred character of a pack 
 of cards, insured a serious personal difficulty with one 
 or more of the leading citizens, many of whom, in 
 strangely compounded sentences, volunteered their 
 opinion that there was a "hoodoo" on Calabazas, 
 when such men as the " Kid" or " Preacher " could 
 come in and work them for jays and suckers. Either 
 the altitude or the water, or the close proximity to the 
 Greaser country had dulled their perceptions, when 
 such "bald fakirs could fool them." 
 
 The reception to future visiting priests or preachers 
 was so cool as to almost induce congestive chills in 
 those gentlemen, in spite of the fact that the ther- 
 
THE PREACHER. 9! 
 
 mometer was quite low in Calabazas when it stood at 
 120 deg. (in the shade?) 
 
 At the village of Tubac, twenty miles north, the Rev. 
 Jones, as a wealthy mining speculator, had been caught 
 by a sharper than he to the tune of fifty dollars and 
 an empty purse, in a quiet monte game, which ac- 
 counted for the Reverend personage's disparagement 
 of said Tubac, its houses and its thirty of mixed 
 population. 
 
 To Cum Sing, the Preacher's visit and appetite 
 was an epoch. Cum Sing had predicted him a fraud 
 when he ate five dollars' worth on a fifty cent basis. 
 All subsequent incidents he dated as such a time after 
 4 ' him clazy pleacher. ' ' 
 
 No one ever saw a faro or poker chip subscribed 
 for charity at Calabazas after this experience with the 
 Preacher. It was considered as being a hoodoo on 
 their games. No church was ever erected in Cala- 
 bazas, nor was any other religious service for living or 
 dead ever afterward performed in that city up to the 
 time that its citizens moved to Nogales, where they 
 could step over the Line into Mexico in case of urgent 
 necessity. 
 
THE CALABAZAS WIDOW. 
 
 SHE COMES SHE INVESTS SHE INCREASES HER 
 "WAD" SHE DEPARTS FOR THE LINE. 
 
 As the months rolled by, and the railroad hands 
 spent their monthly earnings in the city, it prospered 
 and grew, and the cactus plants and boulders were 
 cleared from the street. A graveyard was laid out, 
 and the older saloon-keepers that had waxed in riches 
 by means of their bars and gambling tables, imported 
 lumber, and built substantial wooden walls six feet 
 high around their tent sides, these answering the 
 double purpose of checking vagrant bullets, and pre- 
 venting the sudden, violent summer storms from tear- 
 ing up the tent sides. 
 
 In spite of the fact that Calabazas was so rapidly 
 assuming metropolitan proportions, nowhere in that 
 town could the weary pilgrim find a bed upon which 
 to rest his tired bones. He was assured of drink in 
 a variety. He would be dexterously and expeditiously 
 fleeced at any manner of game. He could eliminate 
 from his soul all hope of salvation, by reason of the 
 intensity of his objurgations against Calabazan heat, 
 insects, and customs. He might be slaughtered with 
 
THE WIDOW. 93 
 
 the most gentlemanly consideration, and in the latest 
 and most approved style ; but he could find no sleep- 
 ing place other than the hurdy-house bench or gamb- 
 ling table. When the Calabazan retired at all, he did 
 so wrapped in his own blankets and upon his own 
 floor, the previously imbibed Calabazas whisky being 
 his mattress and sheets. A stranger awaiting to retire 
 on a bench, a table, or the floor, could seldom do so 
 before daybreak, and then torturing dreams of broken 
 bones disturbed his rest, if wandering bullets did not 
 make it endless. A request to sleep upon the corral 
 hay aroused suspicion unless he had a horse and 
 the Palace Hotel was but a restaurant and nightly 
 resort for the Calabazan cats, that were as truculent 
 as their masters. 
 
 Blessings ever come when unexpected. At noon 
 one day the stage landed a strange lady in our midst. 
 She was a lady about thirty years old, good looking, 
 black haired, not at all proud or too fat, and with a 
 quick eye and an independent demeanor. She trip- 
 pingly alighted from the stage, a small hand satchel 
 and a poodle dog, her sole baggage, was handed out, 
 and she entered the Palace Hotel. As soon as she 
 entered, she apparently owned that hostelry, and 
 demanded to be shown into a private room. Cum 
 Sing escorted her to that exclusive apartment, in 
 which she made herself at home by depositing her dog 
 on one chair and her satchel on another. She then 
 ordered him to preserve that room for her sole use 
 during her stay ; wished to know at what hour supper 
 would be ready, and desired him to bring her a look- 
 ing glass instantly. Cum Sing retired panic stricken, 
 
94 CAtABAZAS. 
 
 not being possessed of a whole looking glass, he con- 
 fiscated the fraction of one that was the property of 
 the cook, Hi Sing, who was something of a Chinese 
 dude, and brought it to the lady. 
 
 After several ineffectual attempts to pin the piece 
 of mirror to the canvas sides of the room, the lady, 
 muttering something very like an oath, propped it on 
 the table against the partition. She took off her hat 
 and veil, and removed her overdress of linen ; then 
 with a wriggle she lowered her shoulders and projected 
 her bustle until her face was reflected from the glass. 
 She took her handkerchief from the reticule that hung 
 at her waist, wiped the poodle's eyes and nose, spat 
 on the handkerchief, and with great care and delib- 
 eration wiped her own face, paying particular atten- 
 tion to the depressions around her ears, eyes, nose, 
 and mouth. She spat again on the handkerchief and 
 washed her hands. Another trip to the reticule brought 
 out a piece of buckskin and a small package of 
 "Beauty's Bloom," with which she vigorously rubbed 
 her cheeks, nose, chin, and ears, and wriggled herself 
 variously until all parts of her face and neck had been 
 viewed in the glass. 
 
 The result of her labors appeared to be satisfactory, 
 for she kissed her dog cheerfully. She then opened 
 the hand satchel and took therefrom a red ostrich 
 feather wrapped in tissue paper ; this she arranged on 
 her hat so as to droop gracefully down her neck. She 
 next unbuttoned the bosom of her dress, and from that 
 safe depository extracted six jewelled rings, a locket 
 and neck-chain, a gold watch and chatelain, a brooch, 
 and a pair of gold chain bracelets. On the two first 
 
THE WIDOW. 95 
 
 fingers of one hand she put a pearl, a ruby, and two 
 cluster diamond rings. Upon the third finger of her 
 left hand she added two solitaire diamond rings to the 
 plain gold one already there. The chatelain and watch 
 she pinned to her ample bosom, and the chain and 
 locket were clasped around her neck. Slipping the 
 bracelets on her wrists she again kissed the dog, sur- 
 veyed herself with much complacency, and closed the 
 satchel with a snap. 
 
 With her handkerchief, assisted by her ever useful 
 spittle, she wiped the dust from her shoes anl ob- 
 tained quite a polish, afterwards holding her dress 
 tight against her shins to get a full view of her feet. 
 She next put her foot on a chair, raised her clothing 
 to her knees, pulled down her stocking and brought 
 from the leg thereof a wad of greenbacks, from which 
 she selected one or two notes, and replaced the wad in 
 her stocking, refastened the garter, put her foot to the 
 floor, and adjusted her clothing by a vigorous and 
 eccentric shake, with side squeezes and pats on the 
 bustle to insure symmetry in the rear. She unfastened 
 some lumps of hair that were on her forehead, and 
 with a few dexterous movements of her fingers was 
 in possession of a most artistic and fashionable bang ; 
 one that met her arched eyebrows and gave a delight- 
 fully coquettish glamour to her roguish black eyes. 
 A few hair pins were jabbed in at odd places, and she 
 placed her hat on, twisting the brim, and shifting the 
 feather until the effect pleased her. Her toilet com- 
 pleted, the lady pulled a tan colored kid glove par- 
 tially on one hand, seated herself in a chair, took the 
 dog in her lap, leaned languidly back, crossed her 
 
96 CALABAZAS. 
 
 feet exposing them slightly from under her dress 
 rested her elbow on the table, and summoned Cum 
 Sing to her by the usual signals with the salt cellar. 
 
 When Cum Sing entered, confused at the change in 
 the appearance of his guest, he looked around in a 
 wondering, dazed way, to see from whence she ob- 
 tained the articles to so entirely metamorphose herself 
 in so short a time. Seeing no trunks or hat boxes, he 
 was in a reverie as to whether or not she was gifted 
 with occult powers that she might possibly use to his 
 disadvantage, when she aroused him by saying, 
 
 "John, I want you to understand that I am a per- 
 fect lady. ' ' (John in the West is the name given and 
 answered to by all Chinamen.) 
 
 ''All lite, me sabee," said cautious Cum Sing. 
 
 "John," said the lady, "I am a lady, and I pays 
 my way, and don't want nothing from nobody." 
 
 "All lite, me sabee," said Cum Sing, fully con- 
 vinced of the truth of the lady's latter assertion after 
 the marvellous and mysterious change in her appear- 
 ance. 
 
 "John," continued the lady, " I leave my satchel 
 and dog here ; his name is 'Beauty.' I don't want 
 you feed him, it make him sick. Don't let him 
 out or he be lost, he all we have to remember our 
 mother by, and if he lost, I have four brothers who 
 will walk five hundred miles to kill you if he is lost 
 here." 
 
 "All lite, me sabee," answered Cum Sing, with a 
 wish for a burglar proof safe to lock Beauty in unti' 
 his mistress returned. 
 
 The lady kissed Beauty, gave some parting pats t( 
 
THE WIDOW. 97 
 
 her bustle, and left the room with Cum Sing. That 
 confused celestial pinned up the door to safely confine 
 Beauty, and as he started for the kitchen, he was again 
 halted : 
 
 "John, anybody here sell lots, you sabee lots? I 
 like buy lots. ' ' (Americans in talking with the Chinese 
 affect this broken style, from a superstitious idea that 
 they are speaking their language to a certain extent.) 
 
 Said Cum Sing, " All lite, me sabee ; you sabee one 
 man, Mis' Clandal? him sell lots." 
 
 Queried the lady, " Where his office? " 
 
 ' ' No hab got office, maybe so you fine him in s'loon ; 
 maybe so him play'g poker; maybe so him in huldy- 
 house;* him name Mis' Clandal, ebbybody know 
 Mis' Clandal, him welly good man; him agent for 
 Company ; him sell lots. ' ' 
 
 Both the ' ' perfect lady ' ' and Cum Sing turned to 
 go their ways, when again was he halted by : 
 
 " Say, John, if any one come see me, you tell 'em 
 wait little while." 
 
 " All lite, me sabee. What your name ? " 
 
 " Oh, my name Mrs. Salsberry." 
 
 " All lite, your name Miss Sallis Bellee." 
 
 The lady turned and said angrily : 
 
 ' * I said my name Mrs. Salsberry. ' ' 
 
 " Me sabee, Miss Sallis Bellee." 
 
 * ' Look here, John, ' ' said the incensed woman, ' 'you 
 no call my name right, my name S-a-1-s-b-e-r-r-y, 
 Salsberry, now you sabee? " 
 
 "Yes, yes, me sabee, your name Miss Sallis Bellee. 
 Me no forget, me sabee, Sallis Bellee him your name. 
 
 * Hurdy House. 
 
98 CALABAZAS. 
 
 Welly good, somebody come, me tell 'em Miss Sallis 
 Bellee come bye-an-bye." 
 
 The woman's eyes snapped as she approached Cum 
 Sing more closely, and her shapely hand was doubled 
 as if to give him a blow, but when within striking 
 distance, she changed her mind. She probably saw, 
 from his vacant stare, that her name was unpronounc- 
 able by him, for she turned, and walked rapidly out 
 and towards the store. Cum Sing gazed at his lady 
 guest until she disappeared, and then adjourned to the 
 kitchen where Hi Sing and Lo Sing w T ere preparing 
 the evening meals. He dropped on the bottom of a 
 bucket as if exhausted, and, talking as much to himself 
 as to the others, said : 
 
 ' 'All lite, me sabee, she lady, she no \vant nutting, 
 she hab got ebbyting, her name Miss Sallis Bellee, her 
 got fo' bludders, she get off stage, she got olee hat, 
 olee shoe, olee d'less, her face all duttee, her hands 
 all duttee, no hab got hair, no hab got t'lunk, no hab 
 got walise, no hab got tow'l, no hab got soap, no hab 
 got shoe blacking, no hab nutting. All lite. She go 
 p'livate loom, one hap hour she callee me, she hab got 
 new d'less, hab got new shoe, hab got new hat, 
 hab got blacelet, hab got lings on hands, hab got big 
 chain on neck, hab got watch lite here (striking his 
 breast), her face all wash, her hands all wash, her face 
 all white, her lings all lite, Je Cli ! wha' mailer Miss 
 Sallis Bellee, me no sabee Miss Sallis Bellee, me tink 
 she clazy. 
 
 This supposition of Cum Sing's was the decision 
 invariably reached by his countrymen when they saw 
 cLi-yUiing odd or eccentric in anyone. "Him clazy" 
 
THE WIDOW. 99 
 
 was a finality, and once thut conclusion was readied, 
 the matter was no longer discussable. Cum Sing 
 ceased muttering and wandered into the dining-room, 
 slit one of the seams in the wall of the private room, 
 and held his eye to the opening until he had assured 
 himself that nothing had been surreptitiously taken 
 therefrom or added to its contents. 
 
 The lady, meanwhile, had reached the store, after 
 creating an unusual amount of interest and conjecture 
 on the street as to who she was, where from, and her 
 business in Calabazas. She was not recognized as the 
 lady delivered from the stage; she, fairy like, had 
 sprung from the earth. If Queen Victoria, in her 
 royal regalia, had entered that store, there would not 
 have been more confusion than there was before this 
 lady possessed of a consummate knowledge of men, and 
 the value of first impressions. She very sweetly apol- 
 ogised to the store-keeper for disturbing him, and 
 asked if he could inform her of the whereabouts of a 
 "Mr. Clandall," the land agent. The storekeeper did 
 not know just where Crandall was at that moment, 
 but would inquire. A dozen loungers volunteered to 
 hunt him up; one man evidently badly struck and 
 anxious to please, said, "H 1! ma'am, wait for a 
 minnit and I'll dig up that bloat for you in no time." 
 The lady thanked him, gracefully seated herself upon 
 a sugar barrel on which a paper had been gallantly 
 spread, and patiently awaited the return of her courier. 
 
 In an incredibly short time for Calabazas Cran- 
 dall was seen approaching the store in company with 
 several of the loungers , his arm being held by the 
 emphatic gentleman that had called him a "bloat." 
 
fOO CALABAZAS. 
 
 They may have used threats, or monetary, or mescal 
 inducements ; or they may have excited his imagina- 
 tion by assertions that the Presidentess, or Mrs. Astor, 
 instantly desired his presence, to reward him for cap- 
 turing the ' ' Kid, ' ' or for his general worthiness. But 
 however they obtained him, he was coming without 
 loss of time. Crandall did not have a joyous look ; to 
 the contrary, his face was not as high colored as usual, 
 and the nervous twitching of his eyes indicated much 
 uneasiness, to say the least. 
 
 If Crandall was frightened, it was with a fear not 
 at all censurable under the circumstances ; for when a 
 strange lady sends after a man in a frontier town, it is 
 a serious matter for the man. Men and women drift 
 into these places from everywhere or anywhere, and 
 seldom meet acquaintances. No one knows the former 
 complications of their lives, therefore, when they are 
 inquired after by a stranger, the inclination to skip 
 away unseen is overpowering ; an inquiring lady is 
 assumed to be a nemesis, and necessarily one to be 
 carefully reconoitered before meeting. Consequently 
 it was somewhat difficult for a strange lady to inter- 
 view a gentleman in Calabazas, until after her motives 
 were known. This lady had given no inkling of hers, 
 hence Crandall 's disinclination to meet her too 
 abruptly. 
 
 Drinkwater, as soon as he was informed that there 
 was a lady at the store who wished to see Crandall, 
 and that she had given neither her name nor business, 
 saddled his horse and started on a full gallop to the 
 Line to intercept a band of smugglers. To confuse 
 and throw the smugglers off their guard, he told the 
 
THE WIDOW. ror 
 
 saloon-keeper under the Custom House that his desti- 
 nation was Tubac, and that he might keep on to Tuc- 
 son, or still farther north until he caught the revenue 
 robbers. Drink water (or " Drinky ") was not a man 
 to take chances, and a deep laid scheme to entrap him 
 by means of his friend Crandall might be the lady's 
 true object. 
 
 No sooner was Crandall introduced to the lady, 
 however, than he was put at ease, for she wished to 
 know if he had any eligible lots for sale. In a 
 moment he was as lively as a chipmunk, and an unceas- 
 ing flow of words, spoken in laudation of Calabazas, 
 deluged that lady. He concluded by asking her to 
 view the property, assuring her that he would, 
 " being as it was herself," give her a special bargain. 
 He was so relieved to find that the lady desired to see 
 him on no personal matter that he would have pre- 
 sented her with a lot if she had requested it. The 
 lady said that she "was agreeable, but," looking 
 around her, she "wished it to be understood by all that 
 she was a perfect lady, able to pay her way, and 
 didn't want nothing from nobody;" to which state- 
 ment her listeners assented, after taking a mental 
 inventory of her jewelry and wearing apparel. 
 
 The lady left the store with Crandall, sweeping the 
 floor with her dress, as it swayed from side to side 
 with a grace and dignity not before seen in Calabazas. 
 Crandall was enthusiastically attentive and voluble. 
 It was the proudest moment he had known since the 
 " Kid" incident, and he did not fail to escort the lady 
 to see every lot within the city limits. The lady was 
 hard to plea.se. One lot was too close to a saloon ' ' for 
 
102 CA^ABAZAS. 
 
 a lady." Another lot was in hearing distance of a 
 hurdy-house, which would be "annoying to a perfect 
 lady." Another lot, eligible other ways, was next to 
 a gambling house. After viewing each lot from dif- 
 ferent angles, with many inquiries as to where would 
 be the business centre of the city, etc., the lady de- 
 clared that none was suitabie but the one next to the 
 gambling tent, and that one " a lady" could not 
 think of buying on any account. 
 
 Many hours were consumed in convincing the lady 
 that the " Golden Fleece," the gambling house afore- 
 said, was as quiet as a church. Handsome George, 
 the proprietor, was widely known as a man of hasty 
 revolver action and great nerve. The handles of his 
 old pistols had been notched until disfigured, and he 
 had just invested in a new pair, which he would begin 
 notching the first difficulty that occurred in his house. 
 Curly Pete, of the Coliseum, and Bottle Bob so named 
 from his predeliction for smashing beer bottles over 
 the heads of fractious customers of the Pantheon, 
 and Casino Harry, of the Big Casino hurdy-house ; 
 these with Handsome George constituted the upper 
 j tratum of Calabazas society ; and they assured the 
 lady that she would find George a quiet neighbor, and 
 one that "no durned jay could get the drop on." 
 Upon the personal guarantee of George, who was a 
 handsome man of perfect manners, that no noise from 
 his place should disturb her, she finally concluded to 
 buy this lot. Her decision reached, she was not long 
 in beating Crandall down from six hundred to one 
 hundred dollars for that valuable corner, and instructed 
 him to fill up the deed. 
 
THE WIDOW. 103 
 
 Crandall now felt justified in expending some money 
 in entertaining his customer. He accordingly asked 
 the lady if she would not refresh herself; the lady 
 graciously said, "as it was a warm day," that she 
 would take beer. He secured a bottle of iced beer and 
 two glasses from the Golden Fleece, and they adjourned 
 to the rear room of the store to prepare the deed. 
 They drank mutual healths, and by the time the lady 
 had emptied the bottle, he had filled up the deed, 
 which she examined closely, and by her questions and 
 the corrections insisted upon, showed that she was 
 perfectly able to take care of herself in business 
 transactions. 
 
 The deed corrected to her satisfaction, she requested 
 Crandall to step out for a moment, which that suspi- 
 cious party did, carrying the deed with him. In a 
 short time he was recalled, and the lady, unrolling the 
 wad of currency that had just been taken from her 
 stocking, handed him his money, received the deed, 
 and, bidding him good night, returned to the hotel. 
 The sight of so much money made the room whirl 
 before Crandall 's eyes, and from that moment he was 
 her devoted slave. 
 
 During her absence, Cum Sing had kept strict watch 
 and ward over the "p'livate loom;" and frequent 
 applications of his eyes to the slit in the partition, 
 convinced him that no mysterious changes were taking 
 place in that respectable apartment. Beauty being a 
 dog of education and advanced age, had slept the whole 
 afternoon, therefore Cum Sing was in a composed and 
 friendly state of mind. The majority of his boarders 
 had eaten their supper, leaving him leisure to attend 
 
104 CALABAZAS. 
 
 the lady. As she entered the door, he suavely invited 
 her to be seated at a table, and made himself social 
 and agreeable by saying: 
 
 " How do, Miss Sallis Bellee, how you like Calabas? 
 How you like Mis' Clandal? " 
 
 The lady, eyeing Cum Sing impressively, said : 
 "See here, John, you no call my name right. You 
 call me lady that all," continuing, " you bring lamp 
 to little room, I want some supper." 
 
 She turned, cast a scornful glance at a few men who 
 
 were giggling at Cum Sing's mispronunciation of her 
 
 name, and sailed majestically to the private room, 
 
 which was soon brilliantly illuminated with a hand 
 
 lamp. The privacy of this room was entirely a matter 
 
 of imagination or faith, for everything said in one 
 
 room could be heard in the other, and after lamp -light 
 
 a person would have been as private on the public 
 
 street. The lady however appeared to be satisfied 
 
 with its privacy. She removed her gloves and hat, 
 
 fondled Beauty for a moment, and, turning to Cum 
 
 Sing, who was patiently awaiting her supper order, 
 
 the following conversation took place : 
 
 "John, I like supper, what you got?" 
 
 4 ' All lite, hab got plenty ebbyting, what you likee ?" 
 
 "What kind soup you got, John ? " 
 
 " Hab got maccalony soup, hab got noodle soup, 
 
 hab got weg'table soup, hab got ." 
 
 "This Friday, John, you no got oyster soup? " 
 "No oyster in Calabas, him all gone way." 
 "Well, bring me some broiled chicken and a rum 
 omelette." 
 
 "No hab got b'loiled chicken, chicken he all die 
 
THK WIDOW. 105 
 
 dis-a-way ' ' (here Cum Sing imitated a chicken with 
 gapes or catarrh). " I no sabee luinlomlet." 
 
 " You no sabee take eggs, break them all up, beat 
 with spoon, and cook all the same as pancake ? " 
 
 "Yes, yes, me sabee, egg lornlet. Me no sabee 
 lumlomlet. You likee egg lomlet ? ' ' 
 
 "Yes, bring me omelette." 
 
 "No more egg, him sun too hot, make eggs all 
 lotten. Hab got condensed milk." 
 
 4 'Got roast beef?" 
 
 " No hab got loast beef; Pete-de-lancher, no sabee 
 how cut loast beef, he make him all lib steak an all 
 soup bone." 
 
 "Well, then (despairingly) bring me a steak well 
 done." 
 
 " No hab got steak, him fly lay egg on him steak 
 and wum spile him, maybe so Pete-de-lancher come 
 tomolla." 
 
 " You got sardines ?" 
 
 "No hab got soldines, s'loon catch all him fum 
 st'lore fo' lunch table." Brightening, "Hab got 
 codfish?" 
 
 ' ' Have you any potatoes ? ' ' 
 
 " No hab got ; g'lass all g'low out him eye and he 
 spile." 
 
 " Well, my goodness, John, what you got to eat?" 
 
 " Hab got welly nice beans, welly nice bacon, welly 
 nice licee, welly nice b'lead and c' lacker, welly nice 
 tea, welly nice coffee, welly nice sullup, welly nice 
 ebbyting you like. ' ' 
 
 "Well, John, bring me anything you like, I awful 
 hungry and tired." 
 
106 CALA BAZAS. 
 
 "Alle lite, me sabee, lady, me b'ling you welly 
 nice supper. ' ' 
 
 And so he did. In a little while he brought the 
 hungry woman a dish of bacon slices fried to a crisp 
 in batter, with watercresses on the side ; a dish of rice 
 cooked as only the Chinese can cook it ; a few slices 
 of buttered toast, a can of sardines, obtained from some 
 saloon, and a fresh and refreshing pot of tea ; not 
 forgetting a side dish of that standard delicacy, brown 
 beans with a piece of fat pork nestling in the center 
 of the dish. 
 
 When Cum Sing set the fare before Mrs. Salsberry, 
 a look of surprise and pleasure appeared on her face, 
 for she had resigned herself to expect crackers and 
 stale tea. With the quickness of his race, her host 
 noticed the pleased look, and having no one else to 
 attend to, exerted himself to both the entertaining and 
 the supplying of her wants. As she ate, Cum Sing 
 kept up a running fire of suggestions as ' ' You like 
 soldines? him welly good, I buy um for you; him 
 welly nice tea ; you d'link p'lenty, putty soon you no 
 more ti'ed." 
 
 These advances and suggestions being graciously 
 received, Cum Sing became more familiar, as is cus- 
 tomary with his race, and asked his guest a great 
 many questions ; for be it understood that the heathen 
 Chinese has as much inquisitiveness as the American , 
 if he is encouraged in the least. So, between his push- 
 ing the dishes closer to her hands, and his suggestions, 
 he made a great many inquiries. " If she was mal- 
 Hecl ? " ' ' Was she going to lib in Calabers ? " ' ' How 
 she like Calabas ? " " How she like Mis' Clandal?" 
 
THE WIDOW. 107 
 
 "What she going to do in Calabazas?" etc., etc., to 
 which questions he received answers from the lady 
 couched in general terms, which left him as wise as 
 before. 
 
 The lady's appetite was soon appeased, and she sipped 
 her tea leisurely after doing full justice to Cum Sing's 
 really excellent meal ; but she had entirely neglected 
 the beans ; not to eat beans was a sure sign in Cala- 
 bazas of failing health ; this neglect of the succulent 
 beans did not escape the eagle eye of Cum Sing, and 
 he pushed them before her saying : 
 
 "You no likee beans? him welly good." 
 
 "No, John, I full now, I no care for beans." 
 
 ' ' What for you flaid ? Him beans all lite, him no 
 make you ti'ed. 
 
 "No, John, I no more hungry." 
 
 "Me sabee, you plenty flaid; you likee, you eat. 
 Huldy-house lady eat beans allee time, my beans no 
 make you feel solly . ' ' 
 
 The lady still refusing to partake of the beans in 
 spite of Cum Sing's strong encomiums, and having 
 finished her cup of tea, he began to clear the table. 
 When he had the dishes piled and prepared to remove 
 them, the lady said : 
 
 "John, you have bed," of course referring to a bed- 
 room for herself, or to some sleeping place, but the 
 question aroused all of Cum Sing's former belief in 
 her being "clazy," for he eyed her suspiciously and 
 answered : 
 
 "Habgotbed." 
 
 "All right, John, then you fix it up for me." 
 
 "No got loom," said Cum Sing distantly. "Me 
 
108 CALABAZAS. 
 
 and my bludder and my cousin, all sleep one bed in 
 kitchen." 
 
 Mrs. Salsberry looked curiously into Cuin Sing's 
 vacant face for a moment, while a shade of annoyance 
 flitted over her own, and said : 
 
 " I no want your bed ; you keep hotel, I want bed- 
 room ; you sabee ? ' ' 
 
 "Oh! all lite, me sabee. Me keep g'lub hotel, no keep 
 bed hotel. Sometime one man come, him got blanket, 
 him sleep on flo' , me no make him pay money. You 
 hab got blankets ? ' ' 
 
 It would not have at all surprised Cum Sing if at 
 this moment Mrs. Salsberry had ordered him out, and 
 in five minutes had recalled him to see a full set of 
 furniture; but she answered " No," and followed by 
 asking : 
 
 " Where ladies sleep in Calabazas, John ?" 
 
 "No lady come Calabas befo'. Huldy-gals she 
 sleep in huldy tent ; sometime she fight and she get 
 dlunk, then she sleep in collel." (Corral.) 
 
 Cum Sing's answer put Mrs. Salsberry in a deep 
 study. After a moment she said : 
 
 "John, you get me blankets, I make bed in here. 
 You very good man, and I sick; I can't sit up all 
 night." 
 
 Feeling flattered, and it being evident that the lady 
 had no designs upon him, Cum Sing's naturally good 
 heart softened, and he remarked : 
 
 " Me go lound and see, maybe so can find cot." 
 With these words he disappeared. 
 
 The woman took up Beauty, tied a handkerchief 
 around his neck, made him sit up and beg, make a 
 
THE WIDOW. 109 
 
 bow and kiss his paw to her, which that educated 
 animal did with so much grace and perfection that 
 she gave him a squeeze and kiss, then a plate full of 
 bread soaked in condensed milk, which she had laid 
 aside for him while eating her own supper. 
 
 Cum Sing meantime scoured the town, going to one 
 place to borrow a cot for ' * welly lich lady ; " to 
 another to borrow some blankets for a ' * welly high- 
 toned lady ; ' ' and a mattress was borrowed from the 
 store for a " welly sick lady. ' ' Cum Sing brought 
 them to the private room with great satisfaction. He 
 placed the cot in the room, extemporised a pillow by 
 filling a barley sack with hay, evolved a pair of sheets 
 from some spare cotton cloth, and altogether made 
 quite an enticing bed for a tired person. 
 
 The lady appreciated his efforts, and ' ' Johned ' ' him, 
 and praised his supper and bed to his heart's content. 
 No people are more susceptible to flattery than the 
 Chinese, and no people take offence more quickly at 
 an imposition ; though they are generally too polite 
 and tactful to let their anger show itself very plainly. 
 A person used to dealing with them, can always tell 
 when they are displeased by a sickly smile, peculiar 
 to that people, and with which they hide any excess 
 of feeling that they may not consider it polite or 
 advisable to show. In consequence of the lady's flat- 
 tery, Cum Sing began to have a much better opinion 
 of her than he had formed from first impressions. 
 
 He cleared the table, and bade Mrs. Salsberry a 
 hearty goodnight ; telling her not be "flaid," because 
 "allee men sleeping in big loom welly good men." 
 He then went into the big room and warned those 
 
i 10 CALABAZAS. 
 
 rolled up in their blankets not to make any noise, 
 because there was a " welly sick lady in plivate 
 loom," which information was enough to drive the 
 sleep from the eyes of those worthy gentlemen until 
 almost daylight. 
 
 As there was no light in the large room, and there 
 was a light in the private room, fine silhouettes of the 
 ' ' sick lady ' ' and her movements were depicted upon 
 the cotton walls of said room. Of this the lady was 
 no doubt unaware, or was too much occupied with 
 other thoughts to notice, for she prepared herself for 
 her night's rest with the same carelessness that one 
 would if surrounded by walls of triple steel. No 
 sooner had Cum Sing, in mistaken kindness for the 
 lady, warned them to be quiet, and left the dining 
 room, than these " welly good men," who had been 
 silently cursing the parties in the private room for 
 not putting out the light and going about their busi- 
 ness ; with a unanimity of action really marvelous, 
 stealthily unrolled themselves from their blankets, 
 supported their bodies on their elbows, and glued their 
 several eyes upon the walls of that private room. 
 What did they see upon those walls ? 
 
 First the outlines of a shapely woman, whose 
 hands were hovering here and there around her neck 
 and waist ; suddenly ragged outlines broke the sym- 
 metry of her bosom and waist, something was torn 
 away, and the shadow hands carried a shapeless bun- 
 dle to the back of a shadow chair. 
 
 Next vie w the hands fumbling around the waist, 
 and something slowly wrinkles, folds, and con volutes 
 until it reaches the floor, and there embanks itself 
 
THE WIDOW. Ill 
 
 around the lady's feet. She steps from the fallen 
 drapery, and then every individual "welly good 
 man" sits bolt upright, and gazes so intently that 
 not even an involuntary wink is permitted to interrupt 
 the delicious view, for the shadows of a most shapely 
 pair of ankles and plump pair of calves are sharply 
 outlined on canvas as supporting the larger shadow. 
 These fill out and complete the picture, adding 
 piquancy to the deeply interesting, entrancing views, 
 and causing the heads of the ' * welly good neni ' ' 
 to swim. 
 
 A sudden confusion of gymnastically mixed up 
 shadows, and the fallen garment is placed upon a chair. 
 The rounded arms of the distracting silhouette are 
 lifted high above her head ; like a flash they disappear 
 leaving two knobs at the shoulders where they for- 
 merly hung. As quickly do they reappear, tearing 
 something from the waist. A shapeless shadow now 
 replaces the symmetry of the upper form. In the 
 shadow's hands something is held at arms' length, it 
 looks like a large, clumsy hour glass ; this the hands 
 roll up and deposit on the table. 
 
 The shadow now sits down. Those delightful feet 
 are pushed under the chair until the toe tips only touch 
 the floor ; the body is doubled over the table as of one 
 suffering from cramps, and the ever busy hands are 
 seen dabbing at something on the table, and are then 
 carefully and caressingly passed over the shadow's 
 face. Another dab on the table, and each arm is as 
 tenderly passed over ; the fingers work a few minutes 
 around the forehead, and a few shadowy warts take 
 the place of the expansive and expressive bangs that 
 
THE WIDOW. 113 
 
 had added beauty to the pictures but the lovely ex- 
 tremities are still in sight. Again the arms go high 
 above the head and disappear as before ; they reappear 
 holding a long, fluffy something that is slowly drawn 
 through the one closed hand by the other several times, 
 and then laid upon the table. A similarly fluffy some- 
 thing that hangs behind the head suddenly appears as 
 a lump on the back of the shadow's head ; a few pats 
 and jabs from the shadow's hands, and the lump is 
 left to its own devices. 
 
 The shadow arises; its shapeliness and graces are 
 now confined to the ravishing shadow ankles, and 
 calves; one of the feet is raised and placed upon a 
 chair; the "welly good men " forget to breathe, and 
 are dangerously near suffocation. A few movements 
 of the busy fingers, and a shadowy shoe is held in 
 hand, examined, and laid on the floor. The other foot 
 is raised to the chair; the hearts and lungs of the 
 "welly good men" are swelled to bursting with sup- 
 pressed excitement and want of breath. The stillness 
 is appalling ; a feather dropped in the room would re- 
 verberate like a peal of thunder. The shadow fingers 
 are again busied, a shoe removed, held, examined, 
 laid beside the first, and the foot is lowered to the floor. 
 The "welly good men " persistently refuse to breathe, 
 Great Heavens! the muscles of their chests might 
 creak ! they will not even wink, for fear that the clash- 
 ing eyebrows may disturb their charmer. The shadow 
 now lifts a something from the cot, and holds it to her 
 face, rubs it, holds it at arms length, holds it to her 
 face again, and lays it on the pillow at the head of the 
 cot; it arises, stretches, turns around once or twice, 
 
114 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 and is swallowed up in the larger shadow of the cot. 
 
 The shadow's hands now opened a shadow on the 
 table, took therefrom a very small and compact shadow, 
 which the hands held in front of her, and with a shake, 
 from that bundle fell a long ruffled shadow that 
 reached to the floor, the hands gathered this in folds, 
 and again were held high above the head holding the 
 folded ruffles ; a few movements of the arms above, 
 followed by an anxiously watched twitching at the 
 waist by the fingers, and as a flash, ruffles were seen 
 to fall from above, and the feet were again embanked 
 within a wrinkled shadow of something that had at 
 the same time fallen from the waist. The fascinating 
 ankles had magically vanished. The shadow was now 
 the resemblance of an uninteresting truncated sugar 
 loaf, ruffled at top and bottom, and surmounted by a 
 warty potato. The potato held itself over the lamp 
 and darkness became visible in the private room ; the 
 " welly good men, "sphinx-like, sat and gazed rigidly 
 in the direction of the lady's room until her healthy 
 snore broke the spell, and aroused them to the fact 
 that all was over, and then with a regretful and 
 exhaustive sigh they each lay down with a whispered 
 ' ' Well, I'm blest!" 
 
 Many hours they devoted to inwardly vowing that 
 during their sojourn in Calabazas, from early evening 
 to the morning's dawn, would they be found at rest 
 on Cum Sing's dining-room floor. 
 
 The following morning, after the sleepers had gone 
 from the dining-room, and the apartment was being 
 prepared for the morning meals, Mrs. Salsberry aross 
 and arrayed herself in traveling garb. Pier sound 
 
TI'JK WIDOW. i;.j 
 
 night's rest had much refreshed her, and she did full 
 justice to the ineal prepared and brought to her by 
 Cum vSing. She had finished her ineal about as the 
 returning stage for Tucson drove up next door at the 
 Custom House. She called Cum Sing to her, paid his 
 reasonable bill, adding fifty cents as an evidence of 
 her appreciation of his attention ; placed herself, 
 Beauty, and the hand satchel in the coach, and 
 departed in that ancient vehicle for Tucson. 
 
 Of course the departure of such a perfect, well 
 dressed and self-contained lady, left a physical void 
 in Calabazas, but this was amply repaid by her visit 
 having given the citizens something to surmise and 
 talk about, and a wearisome mental void had been thus 
 filled. 
 
 It is said that if you boil and filter water, and leave 
 the uncorked bottle containing it exposed to the air 
 for a few days, that the water will be crowded with 
 living things. In a like manner in the dry, dessicated 
 atmosphere of Calabazas, a stranger's advent was fol- 
 lowed quickly by a vague knowledge of the stranger, 
 with name, history, object in coming, and business 
 intentions. The rumers seemed to spring from the 
 air, and each one retailing the stories claimed to have 
 heard them from some one else. Therefore the lady 
 was not well on her way to Tucson before it was 
 reported that she was a widow. That she had come 
 from some town in New Mexico to Tucson ; that she 
 had received five, ten, fifteen, twenty, thirty thous- 
 and dollars life insurance by her husband's death; 
 t:i at she intended erecting a commodious lodging 
 house in Calabazas, and eventually to permit her body 
 
Il6 C A LA BAZAS. 
 
 to petrify after death in the alkaline soil of that 
 attractive town. 
 
 Cum Sing endorsed everything wonderful connected 
 with these rumors, having lively recollections of the 
 mysterious change of appearance made while in the 
 private room. 
 
 The "welly good men " endorsed all of the flatter- 
 ing rumors, because nothing too good could possibly 
 be said of a lady possessing such extremities. 
 
 Crandall added to all he heard. According to his 
 account she was a walking sub-treasury ; the wad of 
 green-backs, from which she had paid for the lot, con- 
 vinced him that all of her angularities were rounded 
 out with a padding of currency. Her fine figure was 
 solely due to cunningly distributed wads of legal- 
 tender notes; and, moreover, she was a perfect lady, 
 for she had put on no style, and had taken beer in 
 preference to water ; which fact alone would have 
 established her standing as a lady in Crandall 's mind. 
 Mrs. Salsberry had staid but one afternoon and 
 night, and her conversation had been solely upon 
 business. Then where did these rumors originate? 
 from the vernacular of Calabazas, echo answers, 
 ' * quien sabe ? ' ' The fertility of the Calabazan mind 
 compensated for the aridity of the soil. 
 
 A week passed. Mrs. Salsberry had been talked 
 over and almost forgotten by all but the ' ' welly good 
 men" and Crandall, when a freight wagon drew up 
 to her lot and unloaded thereon a quantity of furni- 
 ture, lumber, and several bundles of canvas. The 
 next morning's stage brought the lady and Beauty. 
 In an hour after her arrival she had contracted with 
 
THK WIDOW. 117 
 
 carpenters to put up her tents, and by nightfall a tent 
 with wooden sides was erected, carpeted, and taste- 
 fully furnished. A curtain divided the tent, the front 
 portion of which was to be a reception room in which 
 to receive her company. Handsome George, Curly 
 Pete, and Bottle Bob had proffered their services and 
 the freedom of Calabazas, and Crandall had paid her 
 such attention as she was entitled to by reason of the 
 possession of wads of greenbacks; which attention 
 was his unremitting presence from the time of her 
 arrival until dark. 
 
 The next day the carpenters were busily engaged in 
 mtting up the frame-work and laying the floor for a 
 large wall tent. Mrs. Salsberry showed her self-re- 
 liance and knowledge of what she wanted, by unflinch- 
 ingly standing around in the sun giving the workmen 
 directions. It was evident that she was no ' ' pilgrim ' ' 
 or (< tenderfoot," which fact the carpenters soon found 
 out and ceased the wearisome flow of suggestions that 
 pass from mechanic to employer. The framework 
 completed, its sides were boarded up, and it was cov- 
 ered with canvas. A glass door and two windows 
 were framed into the front. On either side of the door 
 was a room, carpeted, and containing a set of painted 
 furniture. One room being a bridal chamber, as it 
 were, and the other for visiting capitalists, etc., whose 
 great wealth would enable them to pay the widow's 
 price for such a sybaritic apartment. 
 
 Around the interior walls were small, cloth par- 
 titioned, windowless rooms, furnished with soul des- 
 troying mattresses and pillows, for those who wished 
 to be profane, at a moderate cost. In the tent's center 
 
Il8 C A I, A BAZAS. 
 
 wns a double row of bunks called the " corral" for 
 laborers who carried blankets. The rooms had un- 
 painted doors fastened by complicated locks, as a pre- 
 caution against burglars; the partitions presumably 
 being proof against such gentry. The doors were 
 numbered, giving a genre appearance to the interior 
 that revived disagreeable memories in the minds of 
 those Calabazans that had served terms in the various 
 penitentiaries. 
 
 None but the two front rooms were provided with 
 toilet appliances ; the other lodgers were entitled to 
 the free and untrammelled use of the tin basins on the 
 bench at the rear of the tent. A piece of indurated, 
 metamorphosed, raspy and latherless soap laid at each 
 basin for those who wished to rub the dirt into their 
 skins, and two morose towels, non-absorbent, and with 
 an elasticity and polish equalling Russia iron, were 
 provided to distribute the water evenly over the face. 
 A bone comb and a brush, the bristles of which wilted 
 upon the slightest provocation, were securely held in 
 place by dog chains, beside each towel. An ' * olla ' ' 
 supplied drinking water when not empty, and a 
 barrel more or less generally less full of water stood 
 near for washing purposes. A saloon hanger-on 
 (named Jack t of course) , was engaged as chambermaid 
 and general utility man, in consideration of the use of 
 a corral bunk and an occasional twenty- five cents. On 
 the front of this addition to Calabazan palaces, was 
 the legend, " Grand Central Hotel." 
 
 Handsome George and Curly Pete, were, in con- 
 sideration cf their nerve, hasty notion, and dis- 
 tinguished social standing, given the front rooms at a 
 
THE WIDOW. 119 
 
 reduced rental provided that in case of connubial com- 
 plications being initiated between Calabazas couples, 
 or when capitalists, etc., came to spy out the land, they 
 were to temporarily resign those imperial apartments ; 
 for as the sagacious Mrs. Salsberry remarked, "A 
 widow must make hay while the sun shines in Cala- 
 bazas," which meant that she had no conscientious 
 scruples about despoiling the verdant stranger within 
 her gates. Everything around her hotel was as clean 
 as could be expected in Calabazas. She subscribed 
 freely to local charities. She paid her bills promptly 
 and without grumbling, and was a generous employer 
 to Jack, who was her most unselfish adorer. She 
 dressed so stylishly as to be a credit to the town, and 
 while maintaining her dignity conformed, in a measure, 
 to the social customs of the place. Cum Sing placed 
 a table in the private room for her sole use, and 
 decorated it with his most choice linen and table ware. 
 He had become possessed with the idea that she was 
 sick, because of her otherwise unwarrantable abstin- 
 ence from the agitating Calabazas bean ; therefore he 
 supplied her with every delicacy of the Calabazas mar- 
 ket, which accounted for the maintained roundness of 
 her form in spite of the tissue wasted by the extreme heat. 
 The rooms of the Grand Central were soon taken. 
 The ' ' welly good men ' ' hastened to engage rooms; 
 Bottle Bob had one that he might keep an eye on 
 George and Pete ; the store-keeper rented one ' ' to 
 encourage the lady ; ' ' Drinky improvised a private 
 inebriate asylum from one ; and Crandall had one; for, 
 by all means, he must keep in touch with the lady of 
 multitudinous wads. 
 
120 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 It was soon found that the ' ' perfect lady ' ' could 
 take perfect care of herself, no assistance was required 
 from the nervy, hasty-tempered George or Pete, for 
 she was equally nervy and hasty. Grumblers were 
 unceremoniously ejected ; for, as she remarked in chaste 
 and ungrammatical terms, " I haven't any use for a 
 - growl. Calabazas aint Paradise, and I don't 
 keep a milk and honey boarding house, with a gold 
 harp for each boarder, and I aint going to give no 
 silk sheets twice a week to nobody." Which 
 remarks were never considered as having any bearing 
 on the points in dispute, except as to the first few 
 words. If a drunken railroad laborer was noisy, and 
 failed to heed her warning to be quiet, the ' ' perfect 
 lady " soon had him by the collar dragging him to 
 the door, to his great astonishment and sobering, 
 meanwhile reiterating that she was "a lady, and didn't 
 care nothing for nobody ." Should he be belligerent, 
 and refuse to be ejected, those soft, delicate, flexible 
 hands, with a quickness that defied the eye, extracted 
 a revolver from some portion of her apparel, and that 
 weapon would emphasize her demand that he make 
 himself scarce " quicker an a wink, for I am a lady, 
 and won't be imposed on " and she wouldn't be. It 
 may be set down as an absolute certainty that she 
 never returned the ejected a cent, even if his sojourn 
 had been for five minutes only, and she demanded 
 payments strictly in advance. 
 
 After Drinky and Crandall had viewed several for- 
 cible ejectments, they seriously considered giving up 
 any marital attempts upon the wad, and signified that for 
 economical reasons solely, they might' in the not remote 
 
THE WIDOW. 121 
 
 future change their lodgings. The widow calmly inti- 
 mated that, being as they were amongst her first 
 friends, she had a warm feeling for them, therefore 
 their removal would be considered a breaking off of 
 friendly relations, and, with a glittering of her black 
 eyes, when a friend threw off on her, there was always 
 trouble and he had no luck afterward. Drinky and 
 Crandall had many serious talks over the matter, but 
 retained their rooms, with grievous twinges whenever 
 they paid her the precious money that should go to 
 swelling their Mescal fund. 
 
 The widow, as a means to an end, was inclined to 
 be social. The hurdy-girls were very well, "but a 
 perfect lady," etc. Lucky Smith's wife could spare 
 no time from his accidental bedside, so, perforce, the 
 widow invited the gentlemen leaders of Calabazas 
 society to spend occasional evenings in her private 
 tent. Now the education of the higher classes of Cal- 
 abazas having been neglected, a social evening was 
 devoted to drinking cocktails ordered from George's, 
 Pete's, or Bob's, in proper sequence and without 
 favoritism, in discussing the merits or early death 
 of some nervy man of hasty temper and slow action ; 
 or in a game of cards, short cards with stakes ; it 
 would be a fatal hoodoo for a sport to play cards for 
 mere pastime. The widow took her drinks in a per- 
 functory manner, unstuck-up, so to say. She never 
 talked of the nervy men, for she "never was in a 
 town like Calabazas before. ' ' Cards well, she would 
 play ; but, oh ! dear ! now really ! she just knew she 
 would mix everything. ' ' 
 
 The storekeeper, Drinky, and Crandall soon ceased 
 
122 CALABAZAS. 
 
 to attend their landlandy's seances. It wearied them 
 exceedingly to have her timidly ask, "What is a 
 raise ? " or * ' If she could open a jack-pot with queens ?" 
 and after several raises draw a card and show down 
 three queens, or after all three reaching at the same 
 time for a fat "j acker," to have the widow say, "Just 
 for fun, explain my hand ; what does three tens and 
 two kings beat ? ' ' and have to pass the pot over to 
 her. The widow not only had wonderful luck, but a 
 profitable aptitude for "just by purest accident, ' ' keep- 
 ing the proper cards and asking misleading questions. 
 After these avaricious gentlemen had seen much 
 Mescal money melt away from their gaze and go to 
 the widow's unreachable wad, they sadly withdrew 
 from her socials, for as they said, "The widow played 
 her cards very close to her stomach for a novice. ' ' 
 
 George, Pete and Bob never faltered in their attend- 
 ance. The widow exhibited such a nattering pref- 
 erence for their company, that they soon had the field 
 to themselves. 'Their devotion was not absolutely free 
 from monetary considerations, for each had privately 
 made Crandall repeat many times his account of the 
 numberless wads of greenbacks she had exposed to his 
 gaze ; besides, they could not be deceived in the value 
 of her personal adornments and Calabazas investments. 
 Nor could it be denied that the widow was plump, 
 handsome, stylish, and currently reported to have a 
 well turned ankle and calf, something not to be 
 despised as matrimonial assets. The widow, when 
 questioned about her affairs, indirectly of course, 
 smiled innocently and kept her own council; but 
 
THK WIDOW. 123 
 
 somehow the questioner would be impressed that half 
 had not been told concerning her wealth. 
 
 Occasionally some middle aged capitalist traveling 
 through Calabazas, would be taken suddenly ill after 
 catching sight of the widow and pass the next few 
 afternoons, very much to her financial profit, in her 
 private tent, convalescing and relieving his pain by 
 games of cards or bottles of champagne, accompanied 
 with much hilarity and many humorous and fetching 
 jokes, all with intent to ' ' mash ' ' the widow. But the 
 correct widow would, at an early evening hour, herd 
 the invalid into the larger tent, there to plan his ama- 
 tory campaign for the next day, while she, with Beauty, 
 retired to sleep the sleep of the virtuous and the wide 
 awake. Such events seriously annoyed the three 
 admirers, and they would survey the gray haired cap- 
 italist with a griping scorn, or make caustic remarks 
 about the widow " playing his old jags for a sucker'* 
 or that they ' ' could hear his brains rattle when he 
 walked." 
 
 It gave the widow the most exquisite pleasure to 
 flirt with "sporty" commercial travelers, if (?) they 
 were at all fresh. One of this gentry fancy goods 
 line was returning from a trip through Mexico. He 
 was absolutely gorged with obtrusive self conceit, and 
 with an abiding faith that his conversational powers 
 and elegance of person were irresistable to the gentler 
 sex. With this particular gentleman, the widow had 
 what is popularly termed a " picnic." She was an 
 impressive lady, who, as I have said, estimated herself 
 at her full value, and perfectly understood human 
 nature. She never failed to enter the Palace Hotel 
 
124 CALABAZAS. 
 
 after the stage coach arrived, and always had the 
 excellent judgment to wait until the guests were 
 seated, and the raw edge taken from their appetites, 
 then she would float to the private room, leaving the 
 new arrivals stunned at seeing such a marvel of 
 beauty, style and wealth in Calabazas. How the little 
 beady eyes of this Drummer drank in the vision ; with 
 what anxiety did he question Cum Sing, while pretend- 
 ing to give an order to that worthy, smothering his 
 words with the food shovelled into his gluttonous 
 mouth without intermission, and swallowed in lumps. 
 "She keep G'lan Cent'al loom house in Calabas," 
 says Cum Sing. Enough. His baggage was taken 
 from the coach and a postal sent to his employer say- 
 ing, ' ' sickness compels me to lay over a couple of 
 days, but I expect to do some business." 
 
 He lounged around the town for an hour, and then 
 started for his real objective point The Grand Cen- 
 tral Hotel. As he strolled along he took his dicer hat 
 off and brushed it with his sleeve. Moistening 
 his finger with spittle, he arranged a cute little bang. 
 He ran a comb through his moustache and twisted the 
 ends to a fascinating curve, polished the glass ame- 
 thyst ring that almost hid one finger, rubbed up the 
 cluster of Alaska diamonds that ornamented his shirt 
 front, fillipped the specks from his vest and coat lap- 
 pels, flirted the dust from his shoes, discovered a black 
 silk handkerchief in an obscure pocket and put it in 
 the side pocket of his cutaway coat, permitting the 
 corner to project, showing a complicated monogram 
 of red silk, ran the soiled handkerchief over the mas- 
 sive, rolled gold locket and chain that hung across his 
 
THE; WIDOW. 125 
 
 vest, at one end of which was a Waterbury watch, 
 and at the other a cigar cutter, viewed himself in a 
 small advertising mirror about the size of a silver 
 dollar, shoved his hat on the back of his head, and 
 slightly to one side, rakiskly exposing the killing 
 bangs, inserted the unringed hand into the hip pocket 
 a dangerous practice in Calabazas and reached the 
 Grand Central before he had found time to clean 
 his finger nails. It is an extraordinary thing that 
 these gentlemen never have time to clean the dirt from 
 their finger nails. Do they keep their fingers in 
 mourning for lost opportunities ? Is it the sacred soil 
 of Syria, that they value it so highly? or is it because 
 they are determined never to lose any of the earth 
 that is once in their possession ? This is an interest- 
 ing problem, and should be the subject of ethnological 
 research. 
 
 Our Drummer reached the door, a rap brought Jack, 
 who slowly eyed him from head to foot. 
 
 ' ' Any private room ? ' ' 
 
 "Idunno." 
 
 4 'Can I see the lady?" 
 
 "Is'poseso, I'll call her." 
 
 The Palace Hotel vision presented herself. The 
 beady eyes glistened and the perspiration broke from 
 the Judaic forehead. 
 
 " I want a private room, the best you have." (This 
 in a devil may care manner.) 
 
 "Please step in, sir," (showing him the bridal 
 chamber) " how will this room suit? " 
 
 " Is this your best room ? ' ' 
 
 " Why, this is the best room south of Tucson." 
 
126 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 (Pompously.) "Well, I'll take it. How much per 
 night ? ' ' (They always say per.) 
 
 "Two dollars and a-half, please, in advance." 
 " All right, I'll take it," (in depressed tones.) 
 While the widow smoothed the bed and raised the 
 curtain, our friend removed his coat, revealing his 
 gorgeously flowered silk suspenders, and engaged 
 himself in a conversation (tastefully decorated with the 
 most killing smirks and glances) on the weather, the 
 heat, and the tremendous business he had done on 
 his trip, of how he had ' ' played ' ' two fellow drum- 
 mers by stealing their advance cards, and calling on 
 their customers ; of how glad he was to be away from 
 the fashionable whirl of San Francisco, where he is in 
 constant demand on account of his many accomplish- 
 ments ; of how he is going into business w r hen his 
 brother collects some fire insurance ; of the brilliant 
 offers he had refused from rivals of the firm he conde- 
 scended to travel for ; of what a time he had to get 
 away from a certain star actress. ' ' How do you exist 
 in Calabazas ? Are there any theaters or balls ? any 
 clubs, etc.? No?" 
 
 Mrs. Salsberry listened and dusted the chairs while 
 the Drummer talked. How well, how very well that 
 lady knew him, though a stranger. With a timely 
 smile to show her perfect teeth, a position in just the 
 right light, a graceful posture to smooth a pillow, and 
 .she had the fellow hooked ready to land. She knew 
 it, but in his inordinate vanity, he imagined the hook 
 to be in her mouth. He examined the soap Castile 
 didn't she have Belle-fleur? Had she no Turkish 
 towels ? Were the sheets perfectly clean ? He must 
 
THK WIDOW. 127 
 
 have ice water, etc. , etc. (Put one in Heaven and he 
 would object to the creaking of the gate.) The 
 widow, saying that he had the best she could supply, 
 departed with two and a half dollars in hand and 
 prospects. 
 
 He examined the bed, punched the mattress, looked 
 under the pillows, and examined the wash stand and 
 bureau drawers for possible letters or forgotten valu- 
 ables left by former occupants of the room. He drew 
 two pictures of flash actresses from his gripsack, with 
 dedications written by himself to himself and leaned 
 them against the mirror. An imitation Russia leather 
 travelling case, displaying a bewildering array of toilet 
 samples with imitation ivory handles, was placed on 
 the bureau. With a self-satisfied air he then hung 
 his hat on the back of his head, put on his coat, and 
 strolled around, looking into the rooms under a pre- 
 tence of looking for the landlady, but really, to possibly 
 catch a female occupant unawares. He finally wan- 
 dered through the back door and saw the beautiful 
 widow sitting in her private tent, sewing. He ad- 
 vanced, leaned against her door jamb, twisted his 
 irresistible moustache, and remarked : 
 
 "Awful dead town. Can I come in here and write ? 
 I won't get in your way." 
 
 "Bring your things right in, Calabazas is dull," 
 answered the widow brightly. 
 
 ' He hurried in his materials, ostentatiously spread 
 out his books and papers on the table, and began his 
 siege of the widow's heart by chipperly asking: 
 
 "Do you object to smoking? " 
 
 " Certainly not ! I love the smell of a good cigar. ' ' 
 
128 C A LA BAZAS. 
 
 Out came an imitation tortoise-shell cigar case, from 
 which he took a cigar Havana, a Drummer smokes 
 no other. A rolled gold matchbox, elaborately 
 stamped, and studded with Alaska diamonds, was 
 next produced, a wax taper was extracted and 
 his cigar was lighted, and while, with fascinating 
 recitals, in which he was the hero, and playful badin- 
 age, he amused the widow, the fumes of his cigar 
 spread like a poisonous pall over the city of Calabazas. 
 The smoke of this choice cigar was smelt in Nogales 
 ten miles distant by Pete-the-rancher but the wind 
 favored him. 
 
 By supper time he had fully informed the widow of 
 all the reckless expenditures, dissipations, and amatory 
 conquests that had "blazeed" him, but had written no 
 letters. She had met his advances with composure, 
 and graciously accepted his invitation to dine, for she 
 "felt as if she had known him for years." After 
 drinking a bottle of champagne as an appetizer, they 
 adjourned to the private room of the Palace for dinner, 
 where, during the meal he was so fastidious, and bul- 
 dozed Cum Sing so very much to that gentleman's 
 disgust and displeasure, as to again create a suspicion 
 in his mind that after all "Miss Sallis Bellee clazy, 
 maybe so she going get mallied." 
 
 After dinner the widow invited the Drummer to 
 spend the evening at her tent. The astute lady also 
 privately sent Jack to tell Drinky ' ' to come and see 
 my canary bird." With many misgivings he put in 
 his appearance, and was impressively introduced as 
 * * the United States Officer in charge of the Calabazas 
 Custom House." The two were as brothers immedi- 
 
THE WIDOW. 129 
 
 ately. Drinky thought, "I can borrow;" the 
 Drummer thought, "I can smuggle." After a con- 
 versation, confined to the Drummer, about his jewelry, 
 each piece of which was a token of unrequited female 
 affection, and his exceeding business astuteness, illus- 
 trated by many anecdotes, cards were mentioned 
 they always are by drummers. He knew a few card 
 tricks, oh ! how the widow would like to see them. 
 Jack was dispatched with fifty cents of the Drummer's 
 money for cards ; the waiting interval being filled 
 with descriptive tales of the money won by him on the 
 tricks, and of how his dexterity in performing the 
 same had put a professional magician to shame at an 
 exhibition before the Palestine Club, of which he is 
 a valued member. 
 
 Jack brought the cards, and many tricks were per- 
 formed with commendable skill these fellows handle 
 cards well in this way, but are too greedy to be suc- 
 cessful gamblers. Having shown the tricks, the 
 Drummer suggested a game of cards they always 
 will. Nothing but poker would do, there were too 
 many or not enough persons for other games. The 
 widow was willing, but didn't understand poker, and 
 didn't care to play for stakes. Drinky was willing, but 
 his funds were at the Custom House (?), and he 
 couldn't play for stakes, so they concluded to play for 
 beans. It was absolutely necessary that the Drum- 
 mer should sit next to the widow to instruct her. 
 Thirty minutes passed, enlivened only by a cham- 
 pagne cocktail at the Drummer's expense and the 
 game languished, for the Drummer had won all of the 
 beans. He now proposed small stakes, a nominal 
 
130 CALABAZAS. 
 
 ante and a limited raise, just to make the game inter- 
 esting. Drinky objected, funds in safe Custom 
 House book-keeper keys, etc. The Drummer of- 
 fered to lend him the amount needed to come in the 
 game. His utter disregard of money would no doubt 
 impress the charming widow favorably. He had a 
 premonition also that Drinky and he would depart 
 together. 
 
 Poker chips were sent for, and the new game was 
 soon in full blast, with the usual poker accompani- 
 ments of cigars, cocktails, anecdote and reminiscence 
 all furnished by the Drummer. The widow won 
 many pots, Drinky won many pots, and the Drum- 
 mer won but few pots. No great sum was in- 
 volved, but the Drummer devoted more time to 
 his cards and less to anecdote and flattery ; the small 
 stakes rendered the game uninteresting to the loser. 
 The Drummer proposed a higher ante and limit they 
 always will when losing. The widow modestly pulled 
 out a well-filled purse, sufficient to cause his eyes to 
 bulge with intense longing. Drinky borrowed more 
 money from him, and the game started anew and in 
 deadly silence. Cocktails became fewer. The widow 
 filled bob-tailed flushes, fours, fulls and straight flushes 
 in a miraculous manner, which if continued would 
 leave her admirer nothing on the earth of the earth, 
 but what was under his finger nails a quantity truly, 
 but not quite a farm. 
 
 The numerous cocktails, added to the Mescal taken 
 before being invited to the widow's, together with his 
 knowledge of the hopelessness of contending with that 
 ravishing lady, when she played them from close to 
 
THE WIDOW. 131 
 
 her face, as well as the fact that he knew what money 
 the Drummer had advanced him was as absolutely lost 
 to the said gentleman as were the various sized pots 
 won by the widow ; all served to render Drinky 
 nervous and hasty. Now this frame of mind may be 
 good for a gun-fighter, but it means ultimate poverty 
 to the poker player; consequentiy, when he was not 
 losing to the unruffled widow he was letting the Drum- 
 mer win some of his own money back. The Drummer 
 soon noticed that when Drinky made a bet, the widow 
 was called out by Jack, or neglected to see a raise, and 
 was barred out to her advantage. 
 
 As the Drummer's rare winnings from Drinky were 
 overwhelmed by his losses to the fair widow, all ideas 
 of love and mashing vanished from his bosom; by 
 some secret sympathy, as his dollars disappeared from 
 his pocket the perspiration appeared on his forehead. 
 The faster the dollars the more profuse the sweat, 
 until he bade fair to vanish in a mist when 
 his last dollar should have been staked and 
 lost. He tore up the cards and ordered a new 
 pack. The widow generously ordered, as winner, 
 and in commemoration of her luck, fresh cocktails. 
 The Drummer related no more reminiscences ; to the 
 contrary, he did not wish to listen to any; poker 
 should be played quietly the loser hates any talk or 
 disturbance. He began speaking abruptly to Drinky, 
 and to tell him the value of cards and the art of betting, 
 or to call on him shortly to bet his hand or lay it down. 
 He had quit posting the widow, her luck was too 
 phenomenal. He suspiciously rubbed the cards to 
 detect punctures or thumb nail marks, and glowed 
 
132 CALABAZAS. 
 
 malevolently at the widow. He lost exasperatingly, 
 the widow won smilingly, and Drinky borrowed 
 complacently. 
 
 The widow sent for more cocktails, and the Drum- 
 mer for new cards, and then proposed "jackpots," the 
 last refuge and hope a Drummer has in a poker game. 
 As a winner the lady was agreeable ; as a borrower 
 Drinky was indifferent, and the jack -pot loomed up 
 in noble proportions. The limit was enlarged, but 
 the size of the ante was kept inviolate, the Drummer 
 was permitted to loosen his collar and necktie, and 
 unbutton his vest, also to put on his hat and pull it 
 down over his eyes. He changed chairs with Drinky, 
 and intensified this exorcism of the hoodoo by walking 
 around the chair three times before seating himself 
 and continuing the game. Drinky had exhausted his 
 credit with the Drummer, and borrowed from the 
 "Kitty." A few more jack-pots of which he felt 
 sure of winning was sufficient to exhaust the Drum- 
 mer's cash, and he borrowed from the widow until he 
 could send to Tucson for "coin" they never say 
 money. 
 
 The game slackened. Drinky had borrowed the 
 whole ' ' Kitty. ' ' The widow steadily refused to see a 
 raise, and the Drummer could only win the ante 
 value ten cents. Unremitting play with unvarying 
 winnings for his allotted span of life would not ' * even ' ' 
 him up at such a rate, and the game died of exhaus- 
 tion . Another series of cocktails the widow ' s treat 
 was sent for, and Jack detailed the glorious campaign 
 to George: While waiting, the poker party discussed 
 the game, the widow's luck, Drinky 's lack of judg- 
 
THE WIDOW. 133 
 
 ment, and the Drummer's expert playing, but dis- 
 astrous fortune. The winnings and losses were talked 
 over they always are the Drummer doubled his 
 losses in the telling. Drinky couldn't double his, for 
 the Drummer knew exactly what he had loaned him. 
 The widow was just "even" after paying for the 
 cocktails the winners are never more than this. All 
 the money had taken wings and vanished into thin air 
 it always does in a poker game. The widow for- 
 gave all bets due from the table the winners seldom 
 do this. The parting cocktails were drank ; she 
 thanked the gentlemen for their company, and hoped 
 they had spent a pleasant evening, and that the Drum- 
 mer would always call on her when he visited Cala- 
 bazas. The Drummer requested to be called early, as 
 he had transacted his Calabazas business, and, bidding 
 the delightful widow good night, they took their 
 leave. 
 
 Drinky made a most particular and exact appoint- 
 ment with the Drummer to meet him at nine o'clock 
 breakfast to the minute when he would return loans, 
 shook that gentleman's hand with such a preternatural 
 fervor that his arm was almost dislocated, and then re- 
 tired to his bunk, and was asleep in five minutes. The 
 Drummer, after first writing to his employers that, 
 " Having found afine physician in Calabazas, he was 
 convalescent, and would be on his travels the following 
 morning, ' ' removed his coat, lit a fresh cigar, and took 
 out a business card. He sat upon the edge of the bed 
 a defeated poker player always sits there to figure up 
 his losses and made memoranda on the back of the 
 card as follows : 
 
1 34 CALABAZAS. 
 
 Disbursements : 
 Item Drinkwatcr, cash $50, secured by note. 
 
 Cocktails & Cigars, 5.00 
 
 Cards, 3.0x3 
 
 Sundries, 90.00 
 
 Dinner, 6.00 
 
 Assets : 
 Item Nickel Watch, $2.50 
 
 Corkscrew, .25 
 
 Pinchbeck jewelry, 5.00 
 
 Cash, none 
 
 Drinkwater's note $100.00 
 
 (for loaned money and bets) 
 
 He rubbed his head and eyes, admired his nose and 
 moustache in the glass, squeezed the blackheads from 
 his chin, put out the light, and for hours laid wonder- 
 ing if he really was a jay, or had been played for a 
 sucker. Of how he was going to get away from Cala- 
 bazas. Of why he had stopped there at all. Until 
 presently his mind was calmed by a hope of soon 
 meeting a sucker to fleece a hope that springs eternal 
 in the Hebraic Drummer's breast, and serves to soothe 
 him after poker losses. A knowledge that Drinkwater 
 was indebted to him for cne hundred dollars, which 
 was as good as cash in hand (?) , also tended to calm 
 his mind ; and he fell into as sweet a sleep as his aro- 
 matic breath would permit. 
 
 With the morning's dawn, Drinky was up. No 
 dressing was required, for he never undressed. A 
 sprinkle of water from the basin, spread over his face 
 by the polished roller towel, a rake off with the bone 
 comb, and his morning toilet was complete. Although 
 
THE WIDOW. 135 
 
 he invariably retired late, he was an early riser, 
 because abdominal and stomachic symptoms warned 
 him that it was the early riser that allayed such pangs 
 with the bracing cocktail, or alleviating Mescal. 
 Strolling into the Golden Fleece, he shook dice with 
 George for the drinks. If he had lost but he won, 
 and solaced his pangs. Crandall, who was an early 
 riser, for frontier reasons also, dropped in and was 
 invited to join, which he did without wasting time in 
 preliminary refusals. 
 
 Having refreshed themselves, Drinky told Crandall 
 the details of last night's poker game, as they 
 walked to the Custom House. Reaching there, the 
 former lost no time in going to the corral and saddling 
 his horse ; he then mounted, and requested Crandall 
 to send him word by the down stage to Pete's-the- 
 rancher when the Drummer departed. " Just tell the 
 driver to say, Crandall wants you, and I will know 
 it's all right." Crandall exhibited no surprise at the 
 request, for these friendly offices they often did for 
 each other in times of stress, hence no tedious explana- 
 tion was needed. To others, Drinky said that he was 
 on his way to the Line to intercept smugglers, who 
 were expected to cross, and couldn't say when he 
 would return. 
 
 Two hours before the stage was due, the Drummer 
 arose, dressed, packed away his pictures of languish- 
 ing actresses, and prepared his baggage for leaving; 
 he did not pay any morning respects to his hostess, 
 but rather avoided her charming and expensive pres- 
 ence ; an absinthe cocktail steadied his nerves, and 
 prepared him for breakfast. 
 
136 CALABAZAS. 
 
 At nine o'clock he seated himself in the Palace 
 Hotel, after first gathering up all the late papers, one 
 of which he laid on the table to read, and the others 
 he sat on in case he should want them. He was 
 somewhat surprised n'ot to see Dririky at the appointed 
 hour though his failure to be present would have 
 surprised no one else in Calabazas. Calabazas would 
 have been surprised yet had he been there. He read 
 until his breakfast was brought, and then folded the 
 paper and sat upon it until he had eaten. 
 
 Breakfast was finished leisurely, and no Drinky. 
 The stage would soon be due and no time was to be 
 lost. Drinky, no doubt, being overwhelmed with 
 government duties, had forgotten the engagement and 
 trivial debt. Calling at the Custom House, the Drum- 
 mer found Crandall its only occupant, and he, in 
 answer to the Drummer's inquiries, informed him 
 that Drinky had gone to the Line that morning 
 intercept smugglers. 
 
 "When will he return?" 
 
 " Couldn't say, it might be a week." 
 
 " Where would he find him at the Line ? " 
 
 "I don't know, the Line's several hundred miles 
 long." 
 
 The Drummer looked around, and seeing no safe, said: 
 
 "Well, Mr. Drinkwater promised me some money 
 he owes me, and would have given it to me last night, 
 but hadn't the keys of the safe. ' ' 
 
 Crandall was astonished, of course, that Drinky 
 should owe money. 
 
 "Yes, I had the keys, but gave them to Mr. 
 Drinkwater this morning. ' ' 
 
THE WIDOW. 137 
 
 The Drummer was now getting nervous. 
 
 " Well I have his note, is it good?" 
 
 " I consider it so," said Crandall. 
 
 " Would you cash it for ninety-five dollars?" 
 
 "I would, but my money is in the safe also." 
 
 4 'Where is the safe?" 
 
 "The safe! oh yes! that's in the saloon below. 
 This upper floor is too weak to hold it. ' ' 
 
 "Well," said the desperate Drummer, "Take it 
 for ninety dollars." 
 
 "I hav'nt the money about me." 
 
 "For eighty! seventy! sixty! fifty!" (excitedly) 
 " well, forty dollars ! don't say a word ! you can for- 
 ward twenty more when he pays, and call it square." 
 
 " Impossible, my money is locked in the safe." 
 
 " Gan't you borrow enough?" 
 
 "/make it a practice never to borrow.'* 
 
 The Drummer began perspiring. God of Abraham 
 and Moses ! had he been mulcted by a gentile ? had 
 the Amalekite possessed himself of Israel's shoes? 
 The stage came in and he helplessly saw it go out. 
 He damned Drink water anatomically and specifically. 
 He cursed the widow and the Calabazans root and 
 branch, progenitors and descendants, their asses, their 
 maid servants and their man servants. The down 
 stage carried no message to Drinky from Crandall. 
 
 The Drummer started on a weary round to get 
 Drinky 's note discounted. All assured him that 
 Drinky was " all right," and would pay the note on 
 his return, but this was in accordance with the Cala- 
 bazan esprit de corps. He could not raise the ridicu- 
 lous amount of ten dollars upon the note, not five, not 
 
138 CALABAZAS. 
 
 one, not a cent ! All were willing, but there was a 
 dearth of ready cash, and plethora of locked safes, with 
 keys in the hands of absent custodians. In his 
 desperation he tried to pawn his samples he could not 
 even do that. Some offered to buy them, but to sell 
 them would be skating over the legal safety line, 
 which the cautious fellow would not do. As a last 
 resource, he humbly called upon the widow and 
 set forth his difficulties ; she kindly advanced him 
 five dollars and a night in the bridal chamber on 
 Drinky's valuable autograph, and the next day he 
 departed, neither a w r iser nor a better man. After 
 waiting a reasonable time, the widow handed Drinky 
 his note, in consideration often dollars and prospects. 
 The widow's having guile, energy, and "luck," 
 diurnal additions were consequently made to the wad. 
 George, Bob and Pete continued to patronize her, and 
 furnished their company and liquid refreshments free. 
 She treated the three gentlemen w r ith equal urbanity, 
 accepted their various gifts with equal disingenuous- 
 ness ; and pocketed their poker losses with equal 
 exclamations over her good luck. She often dined 
 with one or the other of them, and though each of the 
 three men chivalrously gave the other every oppor- 
 tunity, it was noticed that they were not on such 
 familiar terms as before. Of course they visited each 
 other's saloons, and George'd, Pete'd and Bob'd each 
 other, but still there was a something. Each would 
 tell his intimate friends that the widow was "playing" 
 the others sure, or that if George, or Pete, or Bob 
 were " trying to play the widow they would get left." 
 
TIM-; WIDOW. 139 
 
 But who could "play" that versatile and handsome 
 woman ? The man never lived. 
 
 The widow had lived in Calabazas about six months, 
 and herself, her admirers, her eccentricities and her 
 business had ceased to excite gossip or remark , when 
 Calabazan curiosity was again aroused by a newly 
 covered, brightly painted, light wagon, drawn by a 
 stylish horse, being halted at the Grand Central. The 
 driver w r as a middle aged man, having iron-gray hair, 
 bushy, overhanging eyebrows, a close, firmly set mouth, 
 and a generally austere countenance. From his ap- 
 pearance he was judged to be a cattle buyer, and when 
 the widow came to the door, she greeted the newcomer 
 as if having met him before. After speaking a few 
 words to her, he unloaded a quantity of baggage, sent 
 the horse and wagon to the Custom House corral, and 
 domiciled himself in the bridal chamber. 
 
 Mr. Mitchell the newcomer it developed, intended 
 remaining with us. He did not appear to know any one 
 but the widow, and made no effort to make acquaint- 
 ances. He spent a short time daily in close converse 
 with her, but as her tent door remained open, gossip 
 was stilled, and they were considered by Calabazans as 
 only keeping up an old acquaintanceship during his 
 stay. Mr. Mitchell's conversation being limited to 
 his wants, and his looks repelling the slightest ap- 
 proach to familiarity, his provoking reticence con- 
 cerning his past, present, or future, caused a deep and 
 burdensome vexation to society. But as he put on no 
 airs, patronized the bars impartially, and gambled a 
 little, he was well spoken of, and went his way un- 
 questioned which he would have done anyway. 
 
140 CAI^BAZAS. 
 
 George, Pete and Bob at first thought that the widow 
 might have formerly had some complications with the 
 gentleman, which so depressed their spirits that they 
 swallowed numberless cocktails, and were absent 
 minded and of hastier action than usual, until the 
 observant widow relieved their anxiety by introduc- 
 ing them to Mr. Mitchell, and explained that she had 
 met him in Tucson while visiting that city, and that, 
 having come to Calabazas, he could do no less than 
 patronize her hotel. As she neither walked, dined, 
 nor played cards with her lodger, the three swains 
 brightened up, and things went on as before. 
 
 Two weeks after Mr. Mitchell's arrival, the town 
 was again all excitement ; the Grand Central was 
 being decorated profusely with Chinese lanterns. 
 Baskets of champagne, and cigars galore were left at 
 the widow's by the Tucson stage, and invitations were 
 issued to the elite of Calabazas society to attend a 
 4 ' surprise party ' ' at her tent. Tables were to be pro- 
 vided for whist, and no gambling was to be permitted 
 except fifty cents a corner at the whist table. The 
 town was agonizingly agog over this unusual break 
 of the widow's, and she was to set it far more agog 
 shortly. 
 
 The whist party came off in great style, and it was 
 long after midnight before it broke up, excepting that 
 Bottle Bob withdrew at about one o'clock A. M., and 
 had been seen riding rapidly toward Tucson. Just 
 two hours afterward the covered wagon, apparently 
 loaded, and the stylish horse driven by the widow, 
 could have been seen going leisurely toward Tucson. 
 An hour and thirty minutes later Curly Pete might 
 
THK WIDOW. 141 
 
 have been seen riding at headlong speed towards Tuc- 
 son. At ten A. M. Handsome George was a passen- 
 ger on the coach for Tucson. So, in a few hours, 
 four of the society leaders of Calabazas had started on 
 mysterious journeys to Tucson. George's, Pete's, 
 and Bob's barkeepers said they had gone to Tuc- 
 son to purchase goods. Jack said the widow had gone 
 to Tucson on a visit, and had taken the cool of the 
 morning to avoid the heat of the day. Mr. Mitchell 
 made no remarks, but took possesion of the widow's 
 tent, informed Jack that he was to take orders from 
 him in the future ; took a cocktail and breakfast him- 
 self, and went about his silent busines as usual. 
 
 Where were the widow, and George, and Pete, and 
 Bob? Well, about the time that Curley Pete was 
 fairly started for Tucson, the widow was at the 
 Nogales Custom House at the Line, just precisely ten 
 miles in an oposite direction. What was her business 
 there? The estimable, handsome, and talented wo- 
 man was overlooking the examination of her trunks 
 and wagon by the Mexican revenue officers, prefatory 
 to their appraisement and the collection of revenue 
 thereon, before permitting her to continue on her way 
 to the capital Hermosilla or wherever the self-con- 
 tained and energetic lady intended going, in the State 
 of Sonora, Mexico. 
 
 At twelve M. , the same day, the lady was thirty miles 
 in Sonora, on the Magdalena road, cheerfully hugging 
 Beauty, and clucking her horse to a faster gait. At 
 the same hour Bottle Bob had just changed for a fresh 
 horse at a wayside cattle ranch, on the Tucson road. 
 Curly Pete was riding a sleepy horse, his coat was off 
 
142 CALABAZAS. 
 
 and tied to the saddle behind him, his suspenders 
 hung loosely at his waist, the perspiration was pour- 
 ing off his person, and his arm was bent to convey a 
 cooling flask of cocktails to his parched lips. Hand- 
 some George was seated on the back seat of the stage, 
 just passing Curly Pete, whom he did not recognize 
 until they had passed each other, and then he won- 
 dered what in Pete was riding in the hot sun for, 
 
 and where in the devil was he going, and where the 
 devil did he spring from anyway. Three days later 
 Handsome George was in Calabazas, with a dangerous 
 gleam in his eye, when questioned about how he found 
 things in Tucson. Curly Pete was in Calabazas with 
 a dangerous gleam in his eye when asked how things 
 were going on in Tucson, and Bottle Bob was in Cala- 
 bazas with a dangerous gleam in his eye when asked 
 if things were lively in Tucson, and the widow was in 
 Magdalena with a ravishing gleam in her eye, when 
 she examined her wad of greenbacks, to be sure that 
 none had escaped her. 
 
 Bob, Pete, and George visited each other's places 
 daily, said ''luck," and drank cocktails, soft toddies 
 and straights without number, avoiding all allusion as 
 to how they found things in Tucson during their recent 
 hasty trip, or of the business that took them there. 
 
 Six da} r s after the departure of the widow, a cityfied 
 looking gentleman with a sharp face descended from 
 the coach ; the way in which he felt his hip pocket to 
 be sure that his pistol was there ; the manner in which 
 he turned his coat lappel to see if the gilt star had 
 been lost, nervously concealing the star as soon as the 
 bystanders had obtained a full view of it, his tip-toe 
 
THE WIDOW. 143 
 
 walk and a key-hole gaze, all indicated a sleuth hound 
 or detective! When he was seen to collar Cum Sing 
 and run him into the private room, presently coming 
 out wearing a mysterious frown ; when he was followed 
 to the store and was seen to whisper to the storekeeper, 
 and then both of them go into the back room, whence 
 the storekeeper emerged after a short time with a wise 
 though frightened look, and the stranger emerged 
 with a more portentous look than before ; when 
 Drinky was seen to hastily swallow a straight whisky, 
 go straight to the corral, straightway saddle a horse, 
 and ride straight to the I,ine to intercept smugglers, 
 suspicions became certainties. 
 
 There was no longer room for doubt ; this man was 
 certainly a detective. For whom was he searching? 
 Of course a detective would not tell (?) , but in a few 
 days he departed, and then all Calabazas knew what 
 none of them had known before. The officer was 
 after the widow. And the widow, what had she done? 
 Well, it's hard on the widow, but must be told. She 
 had married four men within three years without any 
 preliminary divorce or funeral to either marriage, the 
 husbands all having some means. After spending 
 their money on her, the widow never failed to need 
 exercise, and never returned to her husband from her 
 walk. 
 
 Her last husband had disposed of a ranch and cat- 
 tle near Ellensburg, Washington Territory, and after- 
 ward lodged in the same house with and thenmarried her. 
 Thfcy went to Seattle where he lavished money on 
 jewels to decorate her person and embellish her charms. 
 The salt sea air created a desire in her breast to roam 
 
144 CALABAZAS. 
 
 the rolling deep. She couldn't roam without funds. 
 These she borrowed from her husband the detective 
 said stole as if such a charmer could steal. With 
 the "borrowed" funds, amounting to four thousand or 
 more dollars, she had roamed from Seattle to San 
 Francisco, thence roamed to Tucson, thence to 
 Calabazas, thence to Mexico, where she was now 
 roaming. She was an expert confidence woman, card 
 sharp, pistol shot and "sucker-fisher." She had sold 
 her place through a *Tucson real estate firm to 
 Mitchell for one thousand dollars to be paid as soon as 
 proven satisfactory. He had come to Calabazas, had 
 satisfied himself, and paid the money, with wagon and 
 horses as well (for the widow had raised the price on 
 him to that extent, when she saw that he was pleased.) 
 Mitcheirhad no more idea of her history and intended 
 flitting, than did anyone else ; he had simply invested 
 his money as any one would have done; bought 
 and paid for the property, after seeing that the income 
 was satisfactory. 
 
 As to George, Pete, and Bob, I will freely confess 
 that if I were within reach of those high minded 
 gentlemen, I should think a long time before writing 
 what follows, but feeling safe from their hasty action 
 or nervous temperament, and being determined to 
 give a true history, I will say that the three had 
 a great many reunions among themselves, in which 
 silent handgrips, " here's luck," and "to you," was 
 heard or seen only. Calabazas intuition was seldom 
 wrong, and Calabazas intuited about them that? the 
 widow was engaged to be married to the three men 
 when she left. She would marry as soon as the 
 
THE WIDOW. 145 
 
 divorce now applied for was granted, and her lawyer 
 had written that it would shortly be acted upon. 
 Each gentleman was pledged to strictest secrecy, for 
 if it leaked out that she was to re-marry, her husband 
 would never grant the divorce, as he would not wish 
 to see her married to another. The secret was kept. 
 The widow and her wad were too precious to risk by an 
 injudicious wagging of the tongue. The jealousy of 
 each was quieted by saying it would not do for her to 
 receive the attention of only one and maybe have her 
 husband find it out. Her husband in such case might 
 suspect something and ' ' pull on the bit. ' ' 
 
 The vanity of each man was flattered by thinking 
 that the others were being played for fools by himself 
 and the much desired widow. Each had advanced 
 money to the extent of five hundred dollars towards 
 the purchase of a bridal outfit, and to pay a fair share 
 of the divorce expenses in the nature of a bonus to 
 the fair widow's attorneys to hurry up things. The 
 surprise party was an amusing scheme of the widow 
 and each of her fiances to play the others for " flats." 
 To each of the three that fatal night was the last the 
 widow would spend in Calabazas as a widow. With 
 each she planned to drive next day to Tucson, and 
 there meet him for the wedding. She suggested the 
 midnight start to Bob ; the morning start to Pete ; and 
 the stage ride to George. She told Jack that she was 
 going to Tucson, and, after he had affectionately 
 watched her fade from his sight in that direction, had 
 turned, driven over a mesa down into a valley, struck 
 the stage road and had gone south to the boundary 
 line. 
 
146 CALABAZAS. 
 
 Not one word, good or bad, or at all, did George, or 
 Pete, or Bob, ever say of the lady, and it was generally 
 understood to be a dangerous and unfriendly topic to 
 broach in their company. It was an unwritten law 
 of Calabazas that they were not to be questioned about 
 how things were in Tucson. If an enquirer was 
 anxious to know, he could do as they did, go and see 
 for himself. When George was praised, and called 
 lucky, or bright, or sharp, or nervy, he would depre- 
 ciatingly and modestly swallow the accompanying 
 treat and say with much profanity that he was a ' ' jay, ' ' 
 a "sucker," a "flat," and many other dismal, dis- 
 graceful, and impossible things of himself. 
 
 Pete would do and say the same. Bob would do 
 and say the same. Should a stranger or visitor 
 remark that Calabazas was a wide-awake town of go- 
 ahead people, they would chorus that "Calabazas was 
 such a jay town, or nest of suckers, that any - fool 
 could come along with a stick of soft solder and knock 
 its brains out. Look at the ' Kid ! ' Look at the 
 Preacher ! Look at a a . Take something with 
 me. ' ' Visiting widows, looking for business openings, 
 were received suspiciously and with malevolence, 
 neither advice was given, nor courtesy shown them. 
 
 Drinkwater and Crandall were conceded to be 
 brighter than they had been taken for, and a grateful 
 cocktail, or straight, was at their service in the 
 morning, at one of the three saloons to be patronized 
 in rotation. Jack was as faithful to Mitchell as he 
 had been to the widow, whom he ever championed in 
 his feeble way, and for which the much prized drinks 
 
WIDOW. 147 
 
 were at his service, to be taken in the morning, and 
 rotated at the three saloons. 
 
 Mitchell made money, and I expect is making 
 money yet, if he removed with the remainder of the 
 Calabazas population to Nogales whence it is only a 
 step over the line into Mexico. 
 
 I hope I may meet again the charming widow and 
 shake her by the hand. She had my admiration and 
 good will. The citizens of Calabazas had more nearly 
 a proper estimate of their mental caliber after the 
 widow had finished with them, than they ever before 
 had. 
 
THE CALABAZAS CUJB. 
 
 ITS OLYMPIAN GAMES MR. MURPHY MR. O'CONNOR 
 AND MR. RILEY, AND THEIR DEPARTURE FOR 
 THE LINE. 
 
 A RAILROAD, a telegraph, a policeman, and a bar- 
 ber shop, are the four signs of a complete civilization. 
 Railroad and telegraph lines were rapidly approaching 
 our town. We had been permitted to elect a Justice 
 of the Peace and a Constable. Mr. Murphy provided 
 the barber shop. When Mr. Murphy came to the town 
 to spy out the land, as it were, he was made com- 
 pletely welcome, and received so much encouragement 
 in the way of treats and promised custom that he 
 decided to locate, and made the surprising statement 
 that he would open up a first-class barber shop the 
 next day. I say "surprising statement" advisedly, 
 for Murphy walked into town looking extremely dirty 
 and tired, as if from a long tramp, his sole baggage 
 consisting of a not very large bundle, suspended from 
 his shoulders by a piece of hay rope. But Murphy 
 was as good as his word, and next morning his shop 
 was running in full blast. A cotton wood pole , wrapped 
 in gaudy stripes of red and white cloth, advertising 
 the fact that Calabazas had at last become possessed 
 of this fourth visible sign of a perfect civilization. 
 
THE CUJB. 149 
 
 The barber shop was situated in a cul-de-sac, about 
 five feet wide and ten feet long, between the Palace 
 Hotel and Custom House. It had no roof other than 
 the sky, and needed none, as all Calabazas labor was 
 performed in the cool early morning or during the 
 shady afternoon. Murphy's furnishings were in com- 
 plete keeping with the simplicity of the Calabazan life 
 and his own. One public spirited citizen had loaned 
 him a cane-bottomed oak chair with a round back, in 
 which to seat his customers ; another had let him have 
 a tin basin in which customers might perform their 
 ablutions ; and the store had credited him to the ex- 
 tent of two roller towels, a bar of refractory and imper- 
 ishable soap, and a whisky keg to be used as a wash- 
 stand. Cum Sing had generously contributed a hand- 
 less teacup for a shaving mug, and Murphy completed 
 the outfit with an old brush and comb, a lather brush, 
 two antiquated horn handled razors, a seriously 
 mangled razor strop, and a large number of old ' 'sport- 
 ing" and " criminal" newspapers, without which 
 latter it is impossible to successfully start a barber shop 
 anywhere. These last he took from his bundle. 
 
 Having all of the traditional peculiarities and in- 
 sinuating graces of his profession, Mr. Murphy 
 anxiously inquired into the health and business pros- 
 pects of his customers, as he puffed the clipped hair 
 from their faces and necks with his breath, or dicta- 
 torially advanced the proper manner of settling the 
 great political problems of the day, while rubbing a 
 pint of rancid oil into his customer's scalp. To his 
 credit, be it said, that he discountenanced all such 
 dudish devices as sea foams, hair dyes, and hair re- 
 
THE CLUB. 151 
 
 storers, which made many say he was partially insane, 
 or depreciated these things because he could not fur- 
 nish them. 
 
 His discourse in general was devoted to athletics ; 
 the details of all horse and foot races, pugilistic 
 matches, etc., he had at his tongue's end. His talk 
 had a hypnotic effect on his customers that was a 
 blessing ; for his barber's chair having no head-rest, it 
 was painfully tiresome to rest the neck on the round 
 chair back. One's neck felt broken before one-half of 
 the face had been shaved, with the usual barbaric 
 twists of the head. But he was considerate, and used 
 his stomach as a rest for his customer's head when 
 shaving the other side of his face. At this blessed 
 change of position, the martyr generally fell asleep to 
 the music of the barber's ceaseless drone, with a rest- 
 ful assurance that the chair back had not completely 
 broken his spinal column. After the shave, the cus- 
 tomer was made perfectly at home by being told to 
 "jist step over to yon basin and wash the lather off, 
 and I'll give ye's hair a swipe." 
 
 Notwithstanding that Murphy became so deeply 
 interested in his own conversation as to shave off a 
 customer's moustache when requested to clip it, or to 
 completely denude the head of hair, when in- 
 structed to trim it, or insisted in puffing the hair at 
 the back and over the ears, and in bringing a cowlick 
 down over the forehead, yet he was on good terms 
 with all, and his faults were overlooked in thankful- 
 ness that his razors had not obliterated the beard by 
 pulling it out by the roots, and in gratitude for having 
 used his stomach as a head rest. Murphy having a 
 
152 CALABAZAS. 
 
 monopoly, like all monopolists, nourished apace. 
 His towels were never washed ; his brush and comb 
 never wore out, as they were too dirty to be used, and 
 his soap was everlasting. Perfumery other than his 
 breath was unknown in his tonsorial parlor; his 
 cosmetics were chunks of mutton tallow taken from 
 the choicest cross section of the kidney, and strongly 
 recommended by him as being as pure as * ' the schnow 
 from the mountins, and not wan of thim sch ticks av 
 hog fat wid a smathering of tin foile forninst it, that 
 made ye's moustache luck loike ye's had been supping 
 Oirish schtew from a tin kittle ; ' ' from which it will 
 be inferred that he was a gentleman of pronounced 
 opinions and plain tastes. 
 
 It stands to reason that Murphy was not long in 
 becoming generally known. During the heat of the 
 day he rested himself by playing pedro for the drinks, 
 or in heated arguments concerning horse races and 
 the endurance of various athletic champions. During 
 such arguments, each round of a fisticuff encounter 
 was illustrated by standing at guard, hopping back 
 and forth on his toes, and gently tapping with his 
 finger ends the various parts of his listeners' anatomy, 
 as he described the knock-out blows of the bloviating 
 and high-priced pugilistic heroes. He carried his 
 head projected a foot in front of his body in approved 
 pugilistic fashion ; he carried his arms akimbo, and 
 walked heel-and-toe in approved sprinter fashion, and 
 wore on Sundays a jockey cap and figured shirt, the 
 pattern of which was numberless horseshoes in ap- 
 proved horseman's fashion. From a piece of blanket 
 filled with straw and suspended from the .roof of a 
 
THE CLUB. 153 
 
 corral stall, he improvised a punching bag for boxing 
 practice. In the early morning he walked as if for a 
 wager, on the road in front of the store, as he explained, 
 "To kapemeself in condition, myb'ye, fordy'yemind, 
 now, that bloody Chinaman he do feed ye's wid thim 
 banes till ye's are all puffed up loike a blather, and 
 ye's have got to wurruk it off or it will spile ye's 
 wind." 
 
 Murphy's continued talk, violent exercises, and 
 freely loaned athletic literature, created a sort of 
 athletic boom. Every evening, at dusk, wrestling 
 and sparring matches could be seen going on in the 
 street. Short distance foot races, under his referee- 
 ship, took place for the cigars or drinks, or he would 
 select horses from the corral, and encourage their 
 owners to run short races time no object for small 
 purses. 
 
 In two weeks after Murphy's advent, Handsome 
 George, Curly Pete, Bottle Bob, Casino Harry, and 
 several others, with Murphy as instructor, formed an 
 athletic club to encourage sport of any kind, and to 
 look out for talent to meet the home talent. Miners 
 and railroad hands were encouraged to settle their 
 differences pugilistically. If no one had differences 
 to settle, it did not take long for the club members to 
 create personal antagonisms sufficiently serious to 
 make a settlement by battle before the club neces- 
 sary, their efforts being rewarded by much amusement 
 and many winnings of bets. The club also arranged 
 cay use races for purses, on which events pools were 
 sold, and pegs were driven in the center of the main 
 street that quoits might be indulged in. The reputa- 
 
154 CALABAZAS. 
 
 tion for nerve and hastiness that attached to George, 
 Pete, Bob and Harry, made it certain that there would 
 be no shooting at a contest except such as met with 
 their approval, and in which they would take part. 
 
 The fame of the local club spread abroad. Each 
 Sunday saw a horse or a foot race, or an athletic 
 match of some kind, and attracted many "sports" 
 from the neighboring towns, all of which turned to 
 the profit of the towns people. Murphy, though an 
 all around athlete according to his own claims, more 
 particularly affected foot racing, and at his chosen 
 sport soon had made himself champion of Calabazas. 
 None could be found to compete with him for a 
 wager. From a suit of knit underclothes he, after 
 much labor, manufactured a suit of tights, dressed in 
 which he exhibited his powers before the " B'yes" 
 every Sunday afternoon, always winding up with a 
 wordy and vociferous challenge to the world. He be- 
 came so puffed up, and so impatient of interruption, 
 that, if discussing a point, he would tell an impatient 
 customer: "Yon's the razor and mug; jist give 
 yeself a rake off while ye's waiting, and I won't charge 
 ye's but half price ; ye's can get some wather from 
 the well." 
 
 Amongst the railroad hands that infested the town 
 at the Sunday gatherings, was a young man that took 
 nearly as much interest in the sports as did the barber. 
 He was a slouchy, good-natured fellow, wore loosely 
 fitting workman's clothes, and his Sundays were 
 spent in contests in which he infallibly met with 
 defeat. Like Murphy, he loved the " cinder path," 
 and was always ready to sprint with him but not for 
 
THE CLUB. 155 
 
 a wager. The barber invariably distanced him, and 
 would ask in a most earnest manner, " Phy did ye's 
 stand still and let me run round ye's ? Phy didn't ye 
 run?" As each Sunday saw a contest of this kind, 
 and as each Sunday saw Murphy the victor with room 
 to spare, so did the conceit of Murphy increase, and 
 his railing at the defeated become more obtrusive. 
 Each Sunday night also saw the participators in the 
 day's sport full of whiskey, and the air full of talk 
 concerning wagers, odds and champions. 
 
 One Sunday night a number of the club were in the 
 "Golden Fleece" drinking, and Murphy, as usual, 
 was exalting himself and bantering his young foot- 
 racing friend. The young man's employer, a railroad 
 contractor, tired of Murphy's self laudation, quietly 
 remarked that he "didn't think the barber was any 
 great shakes of a footracer anyhow." In an instant 
 the air was full of offers to bet against any one the 
 contractor thought could outrun him. The contractor 
 didn't care about betting, but thought the young 
 fellow could beat him if he were trained. Murphy's 
 nose went up so high at this that it threw his head 
 back upon his shoulders. The young fellow ! why, he 
 would tie both hands behind him, give him the odds, 
 and then beat him. Curly Pete, Handsome George, 
 and Murphy, offered him odds offered to tie Murphy's 
 feet and race the young fellow, until at last the con- 
 tractor was bluffed into making a bet with each of 
 them of one hundred dollars against two hundred, 
 that the young fellow could outrun Murphy if given 
 ten feet start in two hundred yards. To the young 
 man's remonstrances, he only replied, "You shut up, 
 
156 CALABAZAS. 
 
 its my money, all you've got to do is to run ; " and 
 the race was set for the following Sunday. 
 
 The intervening week was used by the contestants 
 in training. Murphy was timed by various stop 
 watches, and improved ; but with his rival there was 
 no improvement, train as hard as he might. The con- 
 tractor's money was as good as lost, and he himself 
 seemed to regret that, in drunken folly, he had risked 
 his money ; for no one else would take any odds and 
 bet on the young man. The afternoon of the appointed 
 day, the men were made ready for the race. Murphy 
 appeared in his racing costume, and sprinted over the 
 track several times to limber up. His adversary, 
 clothed in a loose fitting suit of cotton overalls, and 
 shod with a pair of light shoes, made no pretence of 
 limbering up. A referee and judge were selected ; the 
 men were placed toe to mark, the word was given, and 
 Murphy without trouble distanced the young man 
 fully twenty-five feet, in addition to the ten feet start 
 given him. The contractor gave the defeated man a 
 reproachful look and told him to go home to the 
 camp. 
 
 This was the first contest of any kind upon which a 
 large amount had been wagered, and the winners were 
 jubilant. Favors were showered on Murphy; he had 
 drinks and cigars enough offered to have kept him 
 supplied for six months. As the evening wore away, 
 the contractor that had backed the loser was bantered 
 on all sides. Murphy, with his Irish wit, drove him 
 nearly to distraction. Humorous condolences and 
 railery that greeted him when he entered a saloon, 
 made him quite ill-humored, for he was drinking 
 
THE CLUB. 
 
 157 
 
 heavily, and several times good natured interference 
 was all that prevented a row. The contractor per- 
 sisted in saying that he thought the young man could 
 defeat Murphy, but much to the barber's disgust 
 would make no bet. After several hours' banter and 
 several added drinks, the contractor became so heedless 
 as to bet with Curly Pete two hundred dollars against 
 four hundred and fifty, that his man could defeat 
 Murphy after two weeks' training, even start. This 
 was a soft snap, and like finding money. George, 
 Bob, and Casino Harry obtained bets at the same odds. 
 The money was put up in the storekeeper's hands, and 
 a friend assisted the drunken contractor away before 
 he wagered his mules and wagons. 
 
 Shortly before Murphy had opened his shop, a fel- 
 low countryman of his, Rileybyname, had established 
 himself in Calabazas with an express wagon. The 
 wagon was a shabby concern, having more barb wire 
 and hay rope in its make up than lumber and bolts. 
 It was drawn by a medium sized, bony, bay horse, 
 that to all appearance had not strength enough to 
 raise his head above his knees ; his tail was barren of 
 hair ; his mane was thin and reached like a mule's, 
 and in walking he raised one shoulder with a jerk, 
 whilst the opposite hip almost sunk to the ground ; 
 his near fore leg was swathed in a grain sack. 
 
 Riley, the owner, was a small man, with a faded, 
 patched suit of clothes, and a cap made of the crown 
 of a felt hat with a portion of the brim left on. He 
 did such light hauling as was needed around town, 
 and on Sunday became religiously drunk on his week's 
 earnings. Himself, his horse, and his wagon, seemed 
 
158 CAI,ABAZAS. 
 
 to be perpetually on the verge of disintegration. He 
 lived in a small " A " tent, (which was also his stable,) 
 on the river bottom, and cherished the animal with as 
 much affection as if he had been the most distinguished 
 of the equine race. No one ever saw Riley 's horse 
 out of a walk; it was a perpetual wonder to all that he 
 was able to walk, his pace partook so much of the 
 character of a crawl. Crandall, who had sold Riley a 
 lot, said that he had money in the storekeeper's safe. 
 The very sight of Murphy appeared to excite the old 
 man's anger. At the Sunday sports, when Murphy 
 appeared in his racing suit, Riley would bitterly ex- 
 claim, "luk at the omadhaun now, phat the divil is 
 he prancing up and down there for loike a sphider in 
 a skillet?" 
 
 The news of the race to come off was spread around 
 the neighborhood, and it was expected that- many 
 strangers would be in town the appointed day. A nice 
 racing path was laid out, and so much interest was 
 excited that George, Pete, Bob, and Harry, putting 
 their heads together, determined to make it a boom 
 day for Calabazas, by having boxing, wrestling, and 
 dancing matches, and a quarter race for small purses. 
 No money other than the contractor's could be won 
 on the foot race, but some might be won on the other 
 contests. A committee was appointed to obtain men 
 for the wrestling and boxing matches, and a dancing 
 match was arranged for at the Big Casino hurdy-house. 
 The foot racers trained steadily. The contractor's 
 man was closely watched, and timed in his practice 
 runs by a secret emissary of the club, and his reports 
 were that the club members who had bet on Murphy 
 
THE CLUB. 159 
 
 had the choicest and most delicate " pudding," one 
 crumbling with richness. As the Sunday approached, 
 Calabazas could scarcely contain itself, and each Cala- 
 bazan busied himself in laying plans to mulct the 
 visitors that were expected to crowd the town. 
 
 The anxiously looked for Sunday came at last. The 
 town was crowded with visiting sports and people 
 from the adjacent country. At nine o'clock sharp in 
 the morning, the day's sports were inaugurated by 
 sparring matches at the " Golden Fleece," and 
 "Coliseum," and by wrestling at the " Pantheon;" 
 all for small purses. At the " Big Casino" the Doctor 
 waltzed for an hour, wearing out two partners and the 
 "piano thumper," which ended the morning's sports. 
 At three o'clock the great foot race was to take place, 
 and the day was to close with the horse races. 
 George, Pete, Bob, and Harry were in high glee. 
 Their saloons had made money, they had bet with 
 judgment on the contests of the morning, and had a 
 delightful "pudding" laid aside for the afternoon. 
 At half past two o'clock, Casino Harry and the con- 
 tractor prepared their men for the foot race, the 
 backers electing Pete-the-rancher as referee and 
 Crandall as starter. 
 
 These preliminaries having been arranged, the men 
 appeared at the starting point. Murphy looked even 
 more confident than usual in his bran new racing 
 clothes and shoes. The contractor's man had on a 
 pair of cheap slippers, and a suit of common blue over- 
 alls cut off at the knees and elbows. As he stood by 
 Murphy's side waiting for the word, he looked far 
 more discouraged than did the man who had bet on 
 
160 CALABAZAS. 
 
 him. The race was delayed until bets had been made 
 with such of the visitors as might be enticed by the 
 odds, and George, Pete, Harry, and Bob, in this way 
 added many more raisins to their expected ' ' pudding. ' ' 
 Riley, gloriously drunk, made himself a nuisance 
 offering to bet ten to two on Murphy, of whom he 
 appeared to have suddenly conceived a better opinion. 
 As no one else would take such odds, George and his 
 friends soon quieted him by taking his bets. 
 
 The betting finished, the starter and referee took 
 their places. Confident Murphy and his modest 
 opponent toed the scratch, and, at the starter's shot, 
 went like the wind. Both sides of the track was 
 lined with spectators. The contractor's man was the 
 favorite with the hurdy-girls because he looked scared. 
 At the fifty foot post he was behind, and the club 
 smiled. At the one hundred foot post he had closed 
 the gap a little, and was painfully struggling to gain 
 still more. The hurdy-girls said "Oh!" Bets of 
 three to two on Murphy were freely offered, and taken 
 by the visiting sports. At the one hundred and fifty 
 foot post the men were shoulder to shoulder. The 
 club quit smiling, and made even bets. At the two 
 hundred foot post, and finish, the contractor's man 
 was a foot ahead, with enough wind left to cruelly 
 ask Murphy, "Why did'nt you run, what did you 
 stand still for ?" and overbearingly offered to tie his 
 feet and run him for any odds. Murphy was so 
 exhausted that he had to be lifted up and assisted to 
 the store. 
 
 George, Pete, Bob, and Harry were paralyzed at 
 what had befallen them. The very mention of the 
 
THE CLUB. l6l 
 
 word "pudding" would have gotten the loquacious 
 speaker into difficulty. As for the ex-champion, 
 words failed to express their condemnation of his want 
 of speed and endurance. He was now a ''duffer," 
 a " fraud," a (< blowhard," anything but a foot racer, 
 and it would have been a serious matter for him had 
 he "been suspected of crookedness. Well, they were 
 sports, were beaten, and, like sports, they tried now 
 to get up a new race in which they could play even, 
 by betting on the new man, but the winner had gone 
 about his business as soon as the race was ended . 
 
 The Calabazas club now lost interest in the day* 
 their handsome saloon profits and small winnings 
 were more than swallowed up in their vanished 
 ' ' pudding. ' ' Although Riley had lost much money on 
 Murphy, by his foolish bets at long odds, he was so 
 pleased at his defeat that he became still more 
 gorgeously drunk than before. He took his money 
 from the store safe, and went around shaking the bag 
 and offering to bet on any kind of proposition. He 
 had harnessed up his old bay horse, and they were in 
 everyone's way while preparing for the finishing 
 races, and his noise and chaff annoyed the losers on 
 Murphy beyond measure. When the horses were 
 brought to the starting point for the quarter races he 
 was wild with excitement, and wanted to enter the 
 race with his outfit on any terms ; and when laughed 
 or jeered at, offered to bet any one that his horse 
 could beat any horse in the race, or the winner. 
 George, Pete, and Bob snapped the old man up on his 
 proposition. "Of course it was like stealing Riley 's 
 money, but Riley had been making fool bets all day, 
 
1 62 CALABAZAS. 
 
 and was bound to lose to some one ; ' ' besides they were 
 heavy losers on Murphy, and had to even up on some- 
 body. Riley was crazy drunk, and beyond control ; 
 he was determined to bet, and they might as well 
 have the money as to let strangers from Tubac rob 
 him. Having betted with Riley until his money was 
 exhausted, that worthy drove to one side, and during 
 the race, yelled and whooped like a Comanche Indian. 
 The club members bet with judgment on the quarter 
 race, and were much encouraged. 
 
 While the race bets were being settled, Riley was 
 sitting in his wagon half asleep, and his old bay horse 
 with braced feet and hanging head, was nearly so. 
 One of the judges shook him and wanted to know if he 
 was going to race or forfeit. "Race av coorse, the 
 divil a thing else/' said Riley. A saddle was taken 
 from one of the defeated horses and put on Riley 's 
 bay, and the question of a rider was debated. Riley, 
 with drunken obstinacy, declined to let any one ride 
 the bay but himself, and he mounted the old horse, 
 whose legs bent under his weight. Some of those 
 who had bet with the old man, felt so ashamed of the 
 bare-faced robbery they were perpetrating, that they 
 offered to withdraw their bets if he would forfeit twenty 
 dollars to each. Riley had taken several more drinks 
 and refused to draw, but instead, offered to bet horse 
 against horse that he would win, which bet, to rid 
 himself of Riley 's biting gibes, the winner's owner 
 accepted, but with no intention to take Riley 's horse if 
 won. 
 
 Riley rode to the starting post, a man on each side 
 jocularly holding up the bay horse that he might not 
 
THE CLUB. 163 
 
 fall before reaching there. The horses were started, 
 and passed the starting post neck-and-neck. Riley 
 wallowed all over his horse, that had a gait between 
 that of a cow and a giraffe. But, Lord ! how he did 
 get over that quarter of a mile ! When he left the start- 
 ing post he just seemed to glue his hind legs to the 
 ground and to stretch out like a piece of red rubber, 
 keeping nose-and-nose with the other horse, while 
 Riley swayed from side to side, and hung on like a 
 monkey. People held their breaths as they saw the 
 horse that had just won a race, stumble, fall to his 
 knees, and the old bay horse lengthen out, and come 
 in with erect head and dilating nostrils a full length 
 ahead, and stand at the winning post apparently 
 exhausted, except as to his eyes, which had an exceed- 
 ingly cunning brightness. 
 
 If the defeat of Murphy was a shock, the winning 
 by Riley 's horse was a catastrophe. It was an unac- 
 countable series of accidents such as could only occur 
 in a town of superlative "jayness, " and peopled by 
 ' ' suckers, " * ' flats ' ' or other monstrosities of the victim 
 tribe. The owner of the defeated horse offered the 
 winner fifty dollars to settle the bet, which amount the 
 old man accepted, and, gathering in his other win- 
 nings, left town in company with the man to collect 
 the money. 
 
 This fatal Sunday ended athletic sports in Calabazas, 
 and ended the Calabazas Club as well. George, Pete, 
 Bob, and Harry sat up quite late that night, nervously 
 figuring as to how they could have lost so heavily on 
 such sure things. Why didn't Murphy pack more 
 baggage? Why didn't Riley 's horse limp when 
 
164 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 racing? How came the young man to get such sud- 
 den increase of speed? Could the Tubac or Tomb- 
 stone sports have put up a job ? The longer they 
 pondered, the more thoughts of possible fakes, throw 
 offs, and put up jobs, obtruded on their minds, until, 
 to satisfy their doubts, they determined to interview 
 Murphy, the contractor's man, and Riley at the pis- 
 tol's mouth for information. A call at the store devel- 
 oped the fact that Murphy had left with the foot racer, 
 claiming that he feared for his life after losing the race. 
 This fear was justifiable and to be expected in a man 
 of Murphy's judgment. A call at Riley 's tent told 
 that he was absent also. He had been seen going 
 away with the man who owned the defeated horse. 
 
 The four friends put on their pistols and cartridge 
 belts, and rode five miles to the railroad camps to 
 interview the men. At the camps they were told that 
 Murphy and O'Connor (the winner) as soon as he had 
 received his share of the winnings, bought two cay uses 
 and had started for the I4ne. At the grader's camp 
 it was found that Riley had left there quite sober after 
 getting his fifty dollars, and had ridden toward the 
 L,ine. They spurred their horses and reached Nogales. 
 The Custom officers said the three men had passed 
 there laughing and talking hilariously; had only 
 stopped long enough to buy some Mescal and pay duty 
 on their horses, which they did from a sackful of 
 money. As they were not permitted to pursue any 
 further, the "big four" of Calabazas, turned, with 
 long drawn groan and saddened faces, homeward. 
 
 Reaching Calabazas, the four visited each other's 
 saloons in rotation, drank "straights" in silence, and 
 
THE CUJB. 165 
 
 the next morning it was generally known in the town 
 that any exhibition of athletics, except in serious per- 
 sonal encounters, would be taken by the four, individ- 
 ually and collectively, as an insult to be wiped out 
 with blood. The quoit pegs were pulled up, and the 
 quarter course and racing path obliterated. All games 
 were barred, but keno, poker, monte and faro. " Pud- 
 dings" were under the ban, and Cum Sing took warn- 
 ing accordingly. 
 
 Riley's wagon laid around until used for kindling 
 wood. Mr. Murphy's tonsorial parlors were dis- 
 mantled, and his sporting literature divided among the 
 hurdy-houses. It was wafted into Calabazas not long 
 after their departure, that these three men were part- 
 ners in working "jay" towns; that Murphy, O'Con- 
 nor, and Riley were assumed names. The first two 
 were professional foot-racers, but were so well known 
 in California, where they had worked fake races, that 
 they had been forced to hunt new pastures, and had 
 found no green feed until Calabazas had been reached. 
 Riley's horse was not an old plug by any manner of 
 means, but instead, was well known in California 
 as a short distance racer, that an acre of alfalfa and a 
 ton of corn a day would not have fattened. His pecu- 
 liar gait had been taught him by Riley after infinite 
 labor, and his bandaged knee was not at all lame or 
 sprained, as was claimed. Neither was his true color 
 bay, but white. The bay color had been imparted by 
 Mr. Riley with great skill, and an intent to obscure 
 his identity ; to keep that color intact, until the town 
 had been worked, was the reason of so much assiduous 
 
1 66 CALABAZAS. 
 
 and affectionate labor every night in the ' * A " tent, 
 where he abode with his horse. 
 
 Mr. O'Connor had taken the contractor into his con- 
 fidence, and had supplied most of the money so lavishly 
 bet on himself, and all of that intentionally lost on the 
 first race. 
 
 The last heard of the trio, they were eating beans 
 and Chilli peppers in a Mexican jail, after some sharp 
 play at a "Fiesta " or religious festival, at which sharp 
 play they had succeeded in almost bankrupting .several 
 revolutionary Generals and Governors, who thought 
 they had a tender pudding to be disposed of. It 
 behooves infant Western cities to look out for the 
 triplets, for they are full of guile and deception and 
 cutting eye teeth is ever painful. 
 
THE CALABAZAS BABY. 
 
 HIS PARENTS, LUCKY SMITH AND THE LITTLE WO- 
 MAN HIS BIRTH HIS BEREAVEMENT HE GOES 
 OVER THE LINE. 
 
 As Calabazas blossomed, grew and spread from a 
 solitary store and Custom House into the magnitude 
 of an Arizona City (?), it was nothing unusual for new 
 tents to be erected ; they were brought on good sub- 
 stantial wagons drawn by strong and retaliating mules, 
 the owners of which could be questioned and the very 
 natural curiosity of Calabazas society be satisfied, or 
 their fears calmed, yet, one morning the Calabazas sun 
 arose and shone upon a tent not there the night 
 before, nor did the eyes of the nervous citizens of that 
 burg either see its arrival or erection. The tent was 
 of the kind known as an ' ' A " tent. It was erected 
 at the lower end of the town, near one of the dead 
 cottonwood trees. Sitting outside and in the rear, 
 was a small portable sheet-iron stove, to which was 
 attached a couple of lengths of rusty stove pipe. At 
 daylight a stranger was seen skirmishing under the 
 dead trees, gathering twigs and branches, which he 
 carried to the stove, and therewith built a fire. 
 
THE BABY. 169 
 
 The man was thin, of small build, and dressed in 
 the brown canvas clothing, much worn in the West. 
 His hair was sandy ' ' complected, ' ' straight and scanty. 
 A wirey goatee and moustache of peculiar sun browned 
 hue, stuck out from the week-old beard covering his 
 face, and his skin was almost as dark as coffee, indica- 
 ting that he was no stranger to the fervent rays of 
 Arizona's sun. One leg was bent in at the knee, giv- 
 ing a perceptible halt to his walk, and his right arm 
 was slightly bowed, as if it had been once broken. 
 To all appearance he was well and strong, but his 
 movements were slow and careful as of one just re- 
 covered from an illness. 
 
 While the man was building the fire, a woman came 
 from the tent, having a piece of bacon in one hand, 
 and a pan of flour in the other, evidently with the pur- 
 pose of making the perennial flapjack that divides 
 breakfast honors with the aboriginal brown bean of 
 Arizona. She was not larger than an ordinary girl of 
 thirteen or fourteen years. She was as thin as her 
 husband ; her hair, of a peculiar streaked reddish hue, 
 was brushed back from a forehead innocent of bangs, 
 and rolled into a boily looking lump on the back of 
 her head. Her hands, thin almost to transparency, 
 showed constant usage ; and her eyes, so large as to 
 be out of proportion to her thin oval face, were of 
 that veiled, watery blue, that conveys the idea of an 
 early death for their owner. She had beautiful pearly 
 teeth, set in a perfect mouth, around which were the 
 lines of care and anxiety that one sees on the faces of 
 refined women who have bravely battled with honest 
 poverty. Her dress, of light, spotted calico, with a 
 
170 CALABAZAS. 
 
 neat collar around her thin neck, was tasty and scru- 
 pulously clean. These were the owners of the little 
 tent that had so miraculously appeared. 
 
 Crandall being a "cocktail riser," was the first that 
 discovered the new arrivals. He called at the tent 
 immediately, and informed the new comers that they 
 were on the Company's most select and valuable lot, 
 and, as became the company's agent, he was quite 
 indignant that they had taken possession without so 
 much as by your leave, but he would have been as 
 indignant if they had pitched their tent anywhere 
 within one hundred miles of where it was, north of 
 the boundary line. Crandall 's indignation did not 
 last long, for though a hard drinker, he had a soft 
 heart, and the little woman soon had an arrangement 
 made, by which they could purchase the lot on the 
 instalment, plan and at the same time was generously 
 given Crandall's washing to do, for which it is doubt- 
 ful if she ever received a cent on any plan. 
 
 In a couple of days they were seeking work, the 
 man for any kind of a job, and the little woman look- 
 ing for washing. The poor little thing shrank from 
 any contact with gambling, drinking, or hurdy- 
 houses, but those whom she approached were asked to 
 use their influence at such places to get her the wash- 
 ing, for which she would be so thankful, and her 
 husband would call and deliver the clothes. In a few 
 days the clothes-lines were filled with men's clothing 
 and the hurdy-girls' more delicate garments. Thence- 
 forth she appeared to have all the washing she could 
 attend to, for the swish of the water and burr of the 
 
THE BABY. 171 
 
 wash-board could be often heard late into the night, 
 and always early in the morning. 
 
 The family was known by the convenient name of 
 " Smith," and it was not Calabazas etiquette to inves- 
 tigate farther. He was a jack-of- all-trades, one of 
 those handy fellows often seen in the West, where 
 self-reliance is at a premium. He was industrious to 
 a fault, and was ever at work, or seeking it, that is, 
 when not recovering from an accident. During his 
 stay of a year or more in Calabazas, Smith was seldom 
 seen for more than a week at a time without his head 
 in a bandage or a crutch under his arm, or an arm in 
 splints or bandages, or he would not be visible at all 
 for weeks, for the poor fellow had such a genius for 
 being in the wrong place at the right time, and extra- 
 ordinary faculty for caroming away from sudden death, 
 that he soon became known as " Lucky Smith." 
 
 The monotony of Calabazas life was much varied 
 after being blessed with Smith's residence. He had been 
 in town but a few days when he was employed to erect 
 a framework of scantlings for a large wall tent. It 
 was cooling to stand around and see how energetically 
 the man worked in the scorching heat. The job com- 
 pleted, in gathering up his tools he found that he had 
 left his hammer hooked on the ridge pole of the frame 
 work. A few minutes sufficed in which to place a 
 ladder against the frame and regain his hammer, after 
 which he descended hurriedly, and without using the 
 ladder. Besides numerous abrasions and bruises, 
 which he lightly passed over, a bone of his wrist was 
 fractured, and, until the bone knitted, he assisted his 
 
172 CALABAZAS. 
 
 wife by packing water, and engineering the wringer 
 with his good arm. 
 
 After recovery, Lucky obtained a job driving a 
 grader's wagon. The grader had never employed a 
 man that gave him such satisfaction, and Smith's 
 wagon required fewer repairs than any ; but one day 
 he leaned over too far to see why his brakes would not 
 hold, and fell. The willing horses started up and 
 pulled the wagon over him, much to the damage of 
 his hip and back. This mishap kept Lucky in bed for 
 a week, and hobbling around for a couple of more 
 when again he was ready for a job. 
 
 He soon had a contract to dig a well, and worked 
 faithfully at it for ten days. It was completed and 
 accepted. He made his last trip to the bottom, and in 
 coming up the rope broke. Smith, besides minor 
 wounds that he might expect in any case, broke his 
 leg. He made a rapid recovery from this accident 
 and was again hunting work. He next obtained a 
 contract from the Railroad Company to cut ties. He 
 had worked two days diligently when, as he was 
 chopping a few dry branches to carry home, his axe 
 slipped, and cut his foot. He had many smaller 
 wounds of fingers and feet, the result of jams and 
 mashes when handling the logs ; such wounds, how- 
 ever, were not considered by him as being of any 
 moment. 
 
 Each of these accidents called for a subscription, for 
 Smith was an agreeable, social, obliging, and indus- 
 trious fellow, and his little wife the one undoubted, 
 genuine lady of the camp ; so of course it would not 
 do to let them suffer while he was disabled. Notwith- 
 
THK BABY. 173 
 
 Standing this good feeling, it was considered by all 
 that Smith was extremely unreasonable to pile up his 
 accidents in such rapid sequence, and that he had 
 mighty little consideration for his friends in doing so. 
 Smith's clean life, activity, and good nature brought 
 him quick recovery, and he was soon rustling for 
 work. 
 
 The lyand Company, having bought the brick kilns 
 and the chimneys of the Chinese houses that had been 
 burned by rioters, contracted with Smith to tear them 
 down and load them for hauling. He pulled down all 
 the kilns and chimneys, save one, in a short time, and 
 with but little waste. He attacked the last chimney 
 with his usual ardour, but so unskilfully did he 
 extract the bottom brick, that he might tumble this 
 chimney down as he had done the others, that it fell 
 before the allotted time, and Calabazas was called on 
 to rescue him from the ruins. An examination showed 
 a fractured rib, as well as several scalp wounds and 
 body injuries. The latter would have been considered 
 serious enough by most men, but were cheerfully 
 passed over by Smith as nothing, when making up a 
 list of his accidental injuries. While convalescing 
 from the broken rib, he indulged in the luxury of a 
 bone felon, by which he lost a joint of his fore-finger. 
 The felon being a side issue, and not the result of 
 accident, he did not count it as being worthy of 
 mention. 
 
 The feeling against Lucky Smith was now becom- 
 ing intense, and most likely he would have been 
 warned to leave town, had it not been for the presence 
 and influence of his faithful and unwearying little 
 
I 74 CAIA BAZAS. 
 
 wife. He was liked well enough, buc even his friends 
 had to confess that such peculiarities were unworthy 
 of any man. It was unaccountable. Some claimed it 
 was the altitude ; this in the West being held respon- 
 sible for many ills. Others said it was the climate ; 
 these were cautioned to "close their face," unless they 
 wished to scare away Eastern tourists or investors. 
 Still more said it was due to Calabazas being so near 
 to the " Greaser" country (Mexico). All of these 
 reasons were fully considered in summing up the prob- 
 able causes of Smith's ceaseless accidents and conse- 
 quent sufferings. 
 
 Smith, when nearly well, concluded to chop down 
 his tree for firewood. He brought out an axe, and 
 had languidly struck a few blows when he was startled 
 by hearing cries, "Here! Stop that! Stop that!" and 
 saw several of the prominent citizens running towards 
 him ; they breathlessly asked him what he was doing ; 
 said Smith cheerfully, "Cutting down my tree." 
 "Well," said they, "we as a committee come to tell 
 you not to cut that tree, the public wants that tree ; 
 that tree is the closest one to the town." 
 
 The woodman spared the tree, not because it had 
 shaded the committee in youth, or possibly could in old 
 age, being dead, but because he must. The climate 
 was warm and exercise repulsive. The tree was quite 
 close to the town, and the valley was destitute of tele- 
 graph poles, there might come a time of sudden 
 emergency and excitement, when the tree would prove 
 a valuable aid in calming men's passions by suspending 
 the cause thereof. Smith's thoughtlessness in trying 
 
Tin-: BABY. 175 
 
 to cut down such a handy tree created a slight 
 additional feeling against him. 
 
 Minus a finger joint, Smith rustled energetically and 
 secured a job. He was employed by a hurdy-man to 
 help move the fixtures from a tent he had purchased 
 to a larger one that he had built ; the man being a 
 newcomer, was not posted on Smith's ways. Every- 
 thing was moved with the celerity and good order that 
 distinguished Smith. At the last the owner and him- 
 self were arranging and beautifying the bar in prepara- 
 tion for the opening festivities that night. When nearly 
 finished, in an unfortunate (but to be expected) 
 moment he came upon the hurdy -man's assistant, in 
 keeping order, the six shooter. 
 
 "Where shall I put this ? " queried Smith. 
 
 "On the shelf under the bar," said the hurdy-man. 
 
 " All right," said Smith; but it was'nt, for in placing 
 it there he in some way caused the trigger to fondle 
 the cap. The cap exploded, the bullet dropped out 
 with such a business-like force, that it penetrated 
 Smith's foot before finding a final resting place in the 
 floor. 
 
 When the hurdy-man heard the shot, he, not being 
 a man to take chances and the shot might have been 
 for him incontinently banged I^ucky Smith over the 
 head with a bar bottle. Between the shot and the 
 blow, Smith settled into a box of empty beer bottles 
 with velocity and force sufficient to break many of 
 them, and received on his nether end sundry cuts and 
 deep incisions, which, though painful, he did not 
 count amongst his wound assets. The hurdy-man 
 with many anathemas, continued to hammer Smith, 
 
176 CALABAZAS. 
 
 under the impression that the unfortunate fellow had 
 made a deadly assault upon him, until a number of 
 neighbors who had heard the shot rushed in and sepa- 
 rated them, enabling Smith to make satisfactory ex- 
 planation. After receiving apologies and payment, an 
 extra fee as a peace offering, and a drink from the rec- 
 tified hurdy-man, Smith was packed home to his tender 
 little woman, and it was several weeks, diversified 
 with a number of virulent boils, before he was again 
 around seeking employment. The owner of the pistol, 
 after hearing Smith's history, threw that valuable aid 
 away, being fully convinced that it was hoodood, and 
 might cut some deadly caper with himself next. He 
 bought another. 
 
 There was now an impression in Calabazas that the 
 subscriptions to keep L,ucky Smith in repair were far 
 in excess of his earnings, and if continued would bid 
 fair to bankrupt subscribers, so a sort of coolness 
 sprang up between himself and the citizens. There 
 was no disputing that he was very industrious, honest, 
 and sober ; but what was the use of talking ? Of a 
 truth the town Doctor received vastly more benefit 
 from the subscriptions than did Smith and his brave 
 little wife ; but this was never thought of by the sub- 
 scribers. 
 
 As soon as Smith could limp around tolerably well, 
 he was again looking for a job ; but for him to get one 
 of any kind had now become a matter of some doubt 
 and difficulty. People to whom he made application 
 considered long and seriously before giving him a job, 
 in the face of his record. A person had to be quite 
 sure that it was one at which he could not injure him- 
 
THE BABY. 177 
 
 self, intentionally or unintentionally, and by such 
 injury bring the fatal hoodoo upon his employer. 
 After weighing the subject seriously, the storekeeper 
 took pity on, and employed him at nominal wages to 
 care for the animals in the Custom House corral. He 
 was strictly enjoined that his whole duty was to keep 
 account of the animals' feed and time in the stalls, and 
 to feed them hay and grain. Now here was a job that 
 he could attend to and certainly preserve himself un- 
 broken and unwounded. The small quantities of hay 
 <ind grain that he had to handle as feed could not 
 possibly enable him to break any bones. Smith went 
 about his work with his usual good- will and energy ; 
 the stalls and corral were never as clean before or 
 since as during his regime. A whole week and a half 
 passed safely, no accident, no one called on to pack 
 Smith home. Wonder of Calabazas wonders Smith 
 had reformed ! 
 
 The eleventh day of Smith's employment, a few 
 minutes after noon, he conld have been seen being 
 carried from the corral by four men, carried to the 
 little "A" tent that was his accident ward. He had 
 very good naturedly loaned a neighbor a hayfork just 
 before going to dinner; returning from dinner, he 
 climbed upon the hay pile to throw down hay for some 
 newly arrived horses. In sliding down the stack, he 
 brought up against the hayfork he had so kindly 
 loaned, and which the neighbor, upon returning, had 
 carefully leaned against the stack, prongs up, so that 
 Smith couldn't miss rinding it. Two of the sharp 
 prongs had penetrated the poor fellow's thigh. He 
 counted not the numberless finger cuts received while 
 
178 CALABAZAS. 
 
 opening grain sacks, nor the times he had jabbed the 
 prongs of the stable fork into his foot when cleaning 
 the bedding from the stalls, or the number of times he 
 had bruised himself in falls from the haystack that he 
 intended for slides ; they were not worthy of mention 
 as part of his corral experience. 
 
 When the storekeeper was informed of Smith's mis- 
 hap, he muttered a few energetic words, went to the 
 corral and broke the hoodood hay fork, that a mule 
 might not be killed by it next time; and then, being 
 a truculent man with an enlarged spleen, he called at 
 the ' * A " tent and indignantly ordered Smith not to 
 come to him for any more jobs, or there would be 
 trouble. The little woman he would assist all in his 
 power, anybody in Calabazas would, but as to monkey- 
 ing with him again, it was not to be thought of under 
 any circumstances. 
 
 The wounds made by the hay fork were painful, but 
 being flesh ones only, were healed in a few weeks, and 
 Smith was again on his everlasting hunt for a job he 
 was not very successful. It was explained to him that 
 no feeling of a personal nature existed as against him- 
 self, it was entirely against his luck ; which last was 
 copiously condemned in a great variety of vigorous 
 terms. 
 
 Smith's inherent industry would not permit him to 
 be idle, and, when not packing water, or otherwise 
 helping the little woman by sweating over the wringer, 
 he could be found around town, cleaning faro chips in 
 one tent, trimming lamps in another, sweeping out 
 another, or in fact doing any little chore and service 
 unasked, that he saw lying around undone. Many 
 
THE BABY. 179 
 
 would willingly have given him a job, but dare not; 
 many were tempted to pay him for such willing ser- 
 vices, but were afraid to, because he remained free 
 from accidents while working for nothing. Anyone 
 that would give Smith a job under pay after his record, 
 would be looked upon as a person of malice and 
 venom, in case of accident to that lucky person. True, 
 they sent the little woman drinks of iced lemonade and 
 soda very often, and sometimes paid her more than her 
 bill for washing, in this way trying to partially reim- 
 burse Smith for his time and free labor, but to regu- 
 larly employ him no. It even made them nervous 
 to see him around their places; a bottle might jump 
 off the shelf and brain him, or he might stumble over 
 a chair and break his leg ; or over himself, and break 
 his neck. Many a customer called for whisky sour, 
 and received a gin cocktail, because the barkeeper was 
 intently watching Smith that he might call out in case 
 of a threatened danger, unseen by that gentleman. 
 At some places he was told in direct terms that he was 
 a good fellow and all right, but they didn't want him 
 to break any of his bones in their house. 
 
 As the weeks passed without accident, it was con- 
 sidered that Smith had finally become acclimated, and 
 the hoodoo had left him. After seriously turning it 
 over in his mind, Handsome George, of the Golden 
 Fleece, took this view of the case. He was a man for 
 whom Smith had done many duly appreciated chores, 
 therefore he concluded to give him a trial, and en- 
 gaged him to assist in re-arranging and renovating his 
 saloon and gambling house. George intentionally 
 omitted to arrange any specified amount to be paid, as 
 
180 CALABAZAS. 
 
 the sly fellow intended not only to indemnify him 
 amply for the present job, but to add an additional 
 amount in payment for the numerous chores before 
 spoken of, and which had been done with no thought 
 of reward. 
 
 Smith pitched into the work with his usual vim and 
 zeal. For five days was he diligently tangled up with 
 bottles, paint, chairs, tables, and white-wash, being 
 continually watched and warned by George during the 
 time. At the end of that time his industry and good 
 taste had converted the tent into what the hurdy-ladies 
 called a ' * bower of beauty. ' ' George was so gratified 
 with the change of appearance that Smith had wrought, 
 that he not only handed him twenty dollars, but, in 
 addition, insisted on his taking a couple of bottles of 
 port wine to the little woman, whom George, humanely 
 and tersely said, had " all the blood soaked out of her 
 with that water. ' ' Smith was surprised and grate- 
 ful; he started joyfully for home, and if he had gone 
 right on it would have been better for him ; but, un- 
 fortunately, he halted at the tent door, to take a proud, 
 parting look at the result of his handiwork, and saw a 
 swinging lamp a little awry. This would never do the 
 re-opening night. It took but a moment for Smith to 
 push a table under the lamp, pile thereon a pyramid of 
 boxes, and crown the boxes with a chair. Another 
 moment and he was in the chair, and had the lamp 
 hanging properly. Another half a moment and he 
 was on the floor, under the chair and boxes, with a 
 broken collar bone and a large number of minor hurts 
 and cuts, which were a mere bagatelle in calculating 
 the general results. Lucky Smith had, with unusual 
 
THE BABY. l8l 
 
 judgment, selected the only table in the room with 
 unsafe, or weak legs. 
 
 Handsome George was justly very indignant. Here 
 was all his kindness and good feeling entirely thrown 
 away. He his luck and poor judgment in ever 
 putting Smith under pay, or, in fact, in having had 
 him around at all. He considered that Smith had 
 committed a gross breach of confidence, and that his 
 incurable failing put him beyond the pale of human 
 sympathy. Here he was with a broken collar bone, 
 after lying low for a month to get a chance to break it 
 in his (George's) tent, and on the opening night too. 
 Smith was worse than the " Kid " or the " Preacher,' 1 
 because they had bluffed and played smooth, but he 
 had just sneaked around playing square, so as to get a 
 chance too hoodoo some one's place. In his opinion 
 Calabazas was a jay town, and Smith knew it. He 
 was always willing to do what he could for the little 
 woman, for she was a lady ; but Smith, well, Smith 
 had better never come into the Golden Fleece again, 
 or he would break his infernal back in two, and not 
 wait for an accident to do it for him. 
 
 It was fully a month or more before Smith had so 
 far recovered as to permit of his doing much, but not 
 at all disheartened was he. Paler and thinner than 
 ever before, the cheerful fellow looked around for such 
 jobs as he could get, that he might be a help to his 
 faithful little wife. No one would give him work, but 
 many offered him money (which Smith never would 
 take unless it had been raised by a general subscrip- 
 tion). At last Cum Sing decided to employ him to 
 clean table-ware and do light kitchen work, in pay- 
 
1 82 CAZ,AEAZAS. 
 
 ment for his own and his wife's meals. Cum Sing 
 said that he " felt welly solly " for him, but thought 
 he was "clazy to bleak himself allee time." Smith 
 brought the same energy to the Palace Hotel kitchen 
 that had procured him employment at the other places, 
 and never had Cum Sing's table-ware been so bright 
 and clean. For three weeks he worked along con- 
 tentedly, gaining strength each day. A tinge of color 
 came into his own and the little woman's cheeks; the 
 release from cooking, and the change of food gave her 
 a much needed rest and variety. 
 
 Cum Sing thought him a " welly good man, but he 
 welly poor." Alas! Cum Sing's sympathy and good 
 feeling was doomed to be turned to most bitter gall, 
 for Smith, with his ever willing alacrity and good 
 nature, volunteered to assist Hi Sing, the cook, in 
 taking a large boiler of hot water from the stove. Of 
 course the boiler had a weak handle, and more as a 
 matter of course this handle was on Smith 'send of the 
 boiler, waiting, and had waited patiently, to come off 
 as soon as Smith grasped it; and come off it did, the 
 hot water scalding his legs frightfully. lyUcky Smith 
 was again being carried down the trail that had been 
 worn packing him to his little tent after accidents. 
 Cum Sing was very angry at first, but dismissed Smith 
 and the accident by saying, "Well, me solly, - 
 Smith ; me no hab him no more, suppose he pay me 
 fi' dolla one day ! ' ' This gentle heathen, nevertheless, 
 sent daily meals without charge to Lucky and the little 
 woman, until he was able to be around again. 
 
 After this accident, it was impossible for Smith to 
 obtain employment around town, and even his doing 
 
THE BABY. 183 
 
 chores out of pure good nature was objected to at most 
 places. Every one had a good word for him, any 
 quantity of drinks and cigars were at his disposal when 
 he entered a place, if he would only accept them, and 
 clear out before a stray bullet, or other accident laid 
 him low 011 the premises. Seeing that it was a useless 
 and wilful waste of time to seek further employment, 
 he gave all of his time to assisting the little woman 
 with her washing. At this he did not meet with any 
 serious accidents, but he was often seen with his hands, 
 his head, or his foot swathed in bandages, presumably 
 having been injured by getting his fingers in the 
 wringer, slipping upon the soap scraps he had carefully 
 laid aside, that they might not be lost or wasted, or by 
 catching his chin over the clothes lines when in a 
 hurry as he always was. 
 
 The little woman was so continuously occupied in 
 nursing Smith after his numerous accidents, and in at- 
 tending to her washing, that she had no time, even if 
 inclined, to make acquaintances amongst the women 
 of the camp. Any one calling at her tent received a 
 kindly welcome. They invariably found everything 
 in perfect order, and the little woman, notwithstanding 
 the nature of her work, neat and cheerful. There 
 were no sounds of bickering or joviality ever heard 
 coming from the little tent. Her customers all had a 
 kind and civil word for her, and she for them, for the 
 little woman did not seern to think a kind word to the 
 lowest was degrading to herself. 
 
 If she had been at all coquettish or unstable, there 
 were plenty of well-to-do men in Calabazas that would 
 have prompted or encouraged her to obtain a divorce 
 
184 CALABAZAS. 
 
 from Smith, and would have willingly paid the ex- 
 penses. Divorces are not uncommon in such towns, 
 and neither the man nor woman are the worse thought 
 of on account of their matrimonial disagreements. 
 Nowhere on earth are moral and reputable women 
 more respected, and the little woman, divorced and 
 re-married, would have been in a much better financial 
 position ; but the admirable little woman neither per- 
 mitted nor made the slightest advance or familiarity. 
 She loved her husband with her whole heart and soul, 
 and he deserved it, for no woman ever had a more 
 affectionate or industrious husband than he was. 
 
 As the months passed by, the little woman was not 
 around the wash tub so constantly, and it was noticed 
 that she did little else than her cooking, or ironing 
 the delicate underwear of the more aristocratic and 
 successful hurdy girls. Presently she was even more 
 rarely seen, except as sitting in the little "A" tent 
 sewing. This was not commented upon, as it was 
 known that she was in delicate health. Therefore, 
 when Smith was seen with an anxious face hunting 
 for the doctor one night, it was not considered as 
 strange or unexpected. With much hunting around 
 the various resorts, he found the doctor in one of the 
 hurdy-houses enjoying a vigorous waltz. After a 
 short whispered conversation, the doctor and Smith 
 departed for the ' ' A " tent, and next morning it was 
 known that the little woman had presented Smith with 
 an heir to his fortunes or misfortunes, in the shape of 
 a fine, plump, healthy little boy. When night had 
 come, it was also known that the industrious, faithful 
 little woman was dead, or, as they expressed it, "the 
 
THE BABY. 185 
 
 little woman had turned her toes up on Smith." 
 Whilst her death was regretfully commented on in the 
 town, the unaccountable last lingering relic of decency, 
 that ever exists in the hearts of such people, began to 
 show itself. Men and women in saloon, hurdy and 
 gambling houses, gathered together and planned as to 
 the proper care of the motherless babe, and the burial 
 of its mother. Poor, grief-stricken Lucky Smith was 
 neither consulted nor advised with. The women of 
 Calabazas gathered in the little tent, and, with gentle 
 hands, dressed the dead mother in the best of her poor 
 clothing, and laid her out for burial. Her thin, tired 
 hands, folded on her pure, gentle bosom, clasped a few 
 scentless wild flowers, gathered after a tiresome search 
 through the neighboring small valleys. As they sat 
 around the rough bier, they cried over her dead body 
 as if she had been near and dear to them, and endowed 
 her with every virtue imaginable ; yet not one of these 
 had ever had more than a passing word with her. 
 
 The babe was fondled and cried over, while with 
 unaccustomed hands they tried to prepare a soda 
 bottle of condensed milk for his sustenance. With 
 that blessed gentleness, and God-like sympathy that 
 makes all women angels in times of trouble and suffer- 
 ing, these outcasts of society gathered around poor 
 Smith with cheering or consoling words and offers of 
 service. The unfortunate fellow was beyond consola- 
 tion. He realized that his wife's death was a consum- 
 mation of all the accidents and troubles that could ever 
 happen to him. 
 
 Davis, the constable, made a coffin of some spare 
 shelving from the store ; he lined and covered it and 
 
THE BAEV. 187 
 
 its wooden handles with black dress goods from the 
 same place. He tacked the cloth on with broad- 
 headed brass chair tacks, and with the same tacks 
 artistically inscribed her name and birth and death 
 dates upon the lid. One of the hurdy-girls made a 
 pillow from a piece of a satin dress no doubt a relic of 
 happier and more innocent days. A hanger-on of one 
 of the saloons dug the grave, and of a piece of board 
 from a packing-case the storekeeper made a head- 
 board, into which he deeply cut and inked the little 
 woman's name, her birth and death dates. The 
 women watched the corpse that night, as they* could 
 manage to spare time from the hurdy-house, and the 
 following day, followed to the grave by a majority of 
 the people of the town, the poor little dead mother 
 was decently buried on the opposite bluff, and the 
 mound smoothed and patted over her remains, by 
 rough but kindly hands. 
 
 There were no set funeral prayers ; the only sermon 
 was the subdued talk around the grave, of the honest 
 record of the little woman while in Calabazas ; of her 
 charity, industry, cheerfulness under difficulties, and 
 ever readiness to do little acts of kindness for all with 
 whom she had come in contact. The hysterical sobs 
 of the more tender-hearted women were the hymns, 
 and they were mingled with the sincere, heartfelt 
 prayer of everyone that ' ' God might bless the poor 
 little woman's soul." The dead buried and out of 
 sight, all returned to the town to, in a few hours, 
 laugh, dance, drink, gamble, swear or fight, as if 
 there was no such thing as death for them. 
 
 Now consider the people that inhabit these tern- 
 
188 CAI,ABAZAS. 
 
 porary western towns ; rough, careless, and apparently 
 lost to all moral restraint or obligation, of quick 
 temper and bloody action, . outcasts from society; in 
 many cases criminals fleeing from justice. Yet these 
 people, with no religious feelings, with no hope of 
 reward either here or hereafter, with no self-glorifica- 
 tion, but simply as a matter of course, do the most 
 generous acts, and perform the most beautiful and 
 grateful services that man can for his fellow-man, and 
 in an unobtrusive way ; the more refreshing when 
 compared with the ostentation of those who claim to 
 do it for their Master's sake. A just God cannot but 
 remember at the last day the impulsive kindness and 
 generosity of these gamblers, whisky sellers and 
 hurdy-girls. In Heaven's record there will surely be 
 some bright, approving marks against their names, 
 marks all the brighter when contrasted with the 
 gloomy blackness of their lives, and it may be that 
 some of them will be herded with the Christian sheep 
 and take chances. 
 
 Let those living in more civilized communities, 
 with their incorporated churches, asylums and 
 charities, compare the charity dispensed by those 
 soulless corporations with the charity of these God- 
 forsaken people. True charity covers a multitude of 
 sins, but true charity comes not from cool calcula- 
 tion or deliberation. True charity cannot be reduced 
 to a business proposition, for it springs impulsively 
 from a sympathetic, generous heart. The heart may 
 be scaled over by a hard and wicked life, but to the 
 one who possesses such a heart, there comes a time 
 when, in spite of its hardened owner, it swells with 
 
THE BABY. 189 
 
 sympathy and bursts its scaly armor to the doing of 
 brave and generous deeds. Would this poor woman, 
 steeped in poverty and doing the most menial work , 
 have been so kindly treated and respected in life, so 
 mourned for at death, and so gently laid in an honored 
 grave? Would her motherless babe have been so 
 fondly cared for, or her grief- stricken husband been 
 condoled with, by almost total strangers, if she had 
 borne her honest poverty and died her humble death 
 in the average Christian city ? Would not her body 
 have been consigned to the tender mercies of a 
 political undertaker, to be buried in a grave blazoned 
 "pauper," with, if any, a hasty service, performed 
 over her body by some clergyman, bored because 
 there was no fee in sight ? And her babe, well, the 
 mortality reports of " Infant Shelters," run by pro- 
 fessional philanthropists with money begged from 
 someone else, will give the percentage of a baby's 
 chances for living. 
 
 The night of the burial, Lucky Smith's sad 
 bereavement was much talked about. Curly Pete was 
 particularly interested, because he said his mother had 
 died when he was a baby. About ten o'clock, George, 
 Bob and Harry dropped into the Coliseum saloon, and 
 had a few minutes' talk with Pete, shortly after which, 
 during an interval between the keno games, Pete 
 mounted the stand from which the game was called, 
 and made a few remarks to the assembled crowd, as 
 follows : 
 
 4 'Say, boys, we'll give this game a rest a minit, 
 because I want to chip in a say. Look here ! you all 
 know that Lucky 's little woman turned up her toes 
 
1 90 GALA BAZAS. 
 
 on him yesterday, and left him a ah ah d - it ! 
 Kid ! and (eyeing them sternly) I don't want no 
 grins, neither. Now, boys, they wasn't no finer 
 lady in the land than the little woman, and when she 
 let go of her wind she know'd that Calabazas was 
 going to see to that baby ; and Calabazas are, and 
 don't you forgit it, and we are going to see that 
 (looking quickly around the audience), nobody plays 
 that kid for a a ah ah well, SUCKER ! Say, 
 young fellow, there (to one of the assembly), jist 
 come and nudge me once, you are too fresh. Now, 
 boys, me an' George an' Bob an' Harry has been 
 considerin' the matter some, an' we've come to the 
 conclusion that something's got to be done. L,ucky 
 aint fit to care for no baby, he's liable to be smashed 
 the first time he turns out. The women says that 
 kid's got to have cow's milk, and there ain'tno cows 
 this side of Tubac. Now us boys, of course, want to 
 know what you all think, because the baby belongs 
 to us all, and George here has a set of resolves which, 
 if suitable, you fellows can say so, and then we know 
 everybody will stand in. While George is readin' 
 them, me and Bob will pack the hats." 
 
 George mounted the rostrum, and read the follow- 
 ing: 
 
 * * Resolved That this being the first baby born in 
 town, and most likely would be the last, and that the 
 mother having died, that it was in the nature of town 
 property. Such being the case, it was unsafe to leave 
 him with Lucky Smith. 
 
 * * That though Calabazas was superior in every way 
 
THE BABY. 19! 
 
 to Tubac, it had no cows, and a supply of milk must 
 be brought daily from Tubac on the stage. 
 
 ' ' That though the climate of Calabazas was delight- 
 ful, milk would not remain fresh unless kept on ice, 
 and a supply of ice must be brought on the stage 
 from Tucson daily. 
 
 ' ' That Bonnie, having had the baby since it was 
 born, should have charge of it and be paid for its care. 
 
 ' ' That as I^ucky Smith could not be expected to sub- 
 mit to these views, and pay the expenses, that the 
 baby be cared for by public subscription. ' ' 
 
 These resolutions were passed unanimously. George 
 Pete, and Bonnie (a very pretty and popular hurdy- 
 girl) were appointed a committee to take charge of the 
 baby, and the amount collected in the hats by Bob 
 and Pete was counted and called out. It a mounted to 
 over a hundred dollars, and many had agreed to pay 
 something every month. 
 
 The committee called at the store and arranged for 
 the supplies to be brought as ordered by Bonnie, and 
 then called on Lucky Smith, and informed him of the 
 plans as to the baby, with many encouraging slaps on 
 the shoulder and protestations of friendship and sym- 
 pathy. Smith fully appreciated their expressions of 
 good will, and desire to do himself and the baby a 
 service, and expressed his thanks for their unostenta- 
 tious kindness in providing for the care of the baby 
 and the burialof his wife, without expense to himself; 
 at hearing which they told him to "close his jaw." 
 It would have been a mortal offense for him to have 
 even hinted at any future repayment, for they were 
 not educated to that point of charitable economy that 
 
IQ2 CALABAZAS. 
 
 fears to make a bummer of a distressed person by 
 assisting him. 
 
 The doctor was next interviewed by the committee, 
 and by them was informed that very much feeling 
 existed against him on account of his permitting the 
 Calabazas baby's mother to die ; that he was called in 
 as a doctor in cases of sickness to prevent such a catas- 
 trophe, and if he could not do that, he ought to haul 
 in his shingle and go dig clams (not stating where he 
 would find them around Calabazas.) They reminded 
 him of the doctor that was hanged b}^ a committee of 
 citizens at the town of Ratoon, at the foot of the 
 Ratoon Mountain, in New Mexico, because he let a 
 lady die on his hands. However, they would let by- 
 gones be by-gones, but he would be expected to look 
 after the baby, and should sickness or death come to 
 that precious infant, there would be serious trouble 
 in store for him. As these men generally carried out 
 their threats, it may be imagined that the doctor was 
 alwaj^s on tap at the demand of the baby, and he 
 watched that treasure with an eagle eye. Spells of 
 -wind colic in the Calabazas baby, generated spells of 
 fear colic in the Calabazas doctor, far more serious to 
 his peace of mind. 
 
 Bonnie, though but a hurdy-girl, was as kind and 
 affectionate as she was pretty. She scouted the idea 
 of payment, and said it must go in the baby's fund. 
 A baby never received from its mother better care or 
 more affection than she gave the town baby. She had 
 him with her day and night, and his milk bottle was 
 never empty. Between the doctor's strict and inter- 
 ested attention, and her motherly care, he thrived 
 
THE BABY. 193 
 
 wonderfully ; was as fine a boy as his sponsors could 
 wish for, and a credit to Calabazas. The house that 
 employed Bonnie was the largest and best patronized 
 in the town, but with the baby's advent there was less 
 noise and fewer fights therein, the baby proving an 
 excellent peacemaker. He was daily carried around 
 the more high toned saloons for an airing, and was the 
 center of attraction, was jocularly asked what he would 
 have, and called " nibsey" and "job lots" and "Jag- 
 sey," and other infantile and affectionate names. His 
 good points were passed upon, he was remarked to 
 have a nervy eye, and should he cry when handled too 
 much, glances of admiration would be exchanged over 
 his hasty temper. Some of the sports would have 
 Bonnie sit him beside them on the faro table as a Mas- 
 cot, and divided their winnings with him. One expert 
 player was so much taken up with him, that he swore 
 that just as soon as the "kid is four years old, I'll 
 take him in hand, and if any body can play him for a 
 sucker at cards when he's five, I'll eat my hat." 
 George's barkeeper laid plans to teach him every 
 known drink and mixture, and Harry intended to 
 devote not less than a year to pistol instruction ; in 
 fact, with the university course they had laid out, he 
 would, at ten or twelve years old, have graduated as 
 the most cultivated all-round sport, whisky soak, and 
 bad man that the West could boast of. 
 
 The daily stage from Tucson unfailingly brought 
 the baby some little thing in the shape of clothes, toys 
 or ornaments. His trips around the saloons resulted 
 in numerous gifts of money. Many were the quarters, 
 halves and dollars slipped into his chubby pink fists, 
 
194 CALABAZAS. 
 
 from the horny hands of the rail-road laborers and 
 miners that frequented the hurdy-houses. These 
 donations, with the originally subscribed fund, were 
 placed on deposit with the most eminent faro-banker 
 in the town, and he was instructed to increase it by 
 judiciously coppered, straight or case card bets. 
 
 Smith was occasionally permitted to fondle the baby, 
 i.e., when Bonnie stood on one side and another girl 
 on the other and one in front, ready to throttle him 
 and grab the baby at the first signs of an accident. 
 Of course Smith gave it a name, but he was the only 
 one that knew what it was ; every one else knew it as 
 the ' ' Calabazas Baby, ' ' and there was not a mdn or 
 woman in the town that would not have fought to the 
 death to have preserved that wonderful infant from 
 harm. 
 
 L/ucky Smith was as industrious as ever, and his 
 wife's death seemed to have taken away his liability 
 to accident. He carried on the laundry in a half- 
 hearted way for a short time, and went to general 
 jobbing again. Some months after his wife's death, 
 he told Bonnie that a married sister of his, married to 
 a contractor on the Sonora Railroad, wished him to 
 bring the baby to her. Bonnie was panic-stricken, and 
 hastened to consult the committee. The committee 
 called on Smith, and he produced letters from his 
 sister to show that he was not trying to * ' play them 
 for suckers or jays." The letters were couched in 
 most appealing and affectionate terms, for her own 
 baby had just died. The baby being considered as 
 public property, it was with much indignation at 
 Smith's "gall" in claiming the baby among the men, 
 
THE BABY. 195 
 
 and grief amongst the women, that they heard of the 
 matter, and it is doubtful if they would have parted 
 with him had it not been for Bonnie, who, notwith- 
 standing her own affection for the baby, could not 
 withstand the appeals of the baby's aunt; and, on her 
 pleadings, he was permitted to be taken away. 
 
 The bank deposit, amounting to quite a tidy sum, 
 was put in Smith's hands to be sacredly kept, and 
 invested to create a fund to start the baby in life, 
 should he live, and the father was warned never to 
 show his face in Calabazas again if anything should 
 happen the boy. Handsome George and Bonnie 
 accompanied them to the Line, as a committee of 
 safety, to be sure that Smith did not break his own 
 and the baby's neck on American soil. For several 
 days after their return George was more nervy ani 
 hasty than usual, and for weeks poor Bonnie's 
 eyes filled whenever the baby was mentioned. She 
 could never tell often enough of how ' ' the dear little 
 fellow tried to jump out of the stage window into my 
 arms, and clutched the collar of my basque with his 
 rosy fingers, when I was kissing him good-bye, for he 
 just knew no one else would ever be as good to him." 
 Bonnie looked after the little woman's grave, and a 
 Sunday never passed that did not see it weeded, and a 
 few wild flowers or green boughs placed upon the 
 mound by her. They may meet again. 
 
 If Lucky Smith is still living, it is to be hoped that 
 he was compensated for the death of his estimable 
 little wife by better fortune, and fewer broken bones 
 or mishaps. It is also to be hoped that the baby is 
 alive, and will grow to be a credit to his father, and 
 
CALABAZAS. 
 
 Calabazas (his foster father) which sadly needs a credit 
 to its memory. There was never another baby born 
 in the town, for its people were soon absorbed by 
 Nogales at the L,ine whence it is but a step safety. 
 
THE CALABAZAS JUSTICE. 
 
 HIS CONSTABLE HIS TROUBLES THE FINAL RIOT 
 HIS DEPARTURE FOR THE LINE. 
 
 THE frontier town yearns with a consuming yearn 
 for a local government ; it matters not that the town 
 is peopled by a lawless class, that neither respect the 
 law nor fear its minions. Their yearn is as intense 
 and as abiding as if they were a peaceful and quiet 
 community. Of the many reasons which give rise to 
 this yearn, one is that a system of fees is provided, by 
 means of which a constitutionally lazy and shiftless 
 portion of the community is enabled to live a life of 
 laborious ease at the expense of the more industrious ; 
 and not the least is, that the law officers in a measure, 
 are of the element that elects them to office, and are 
 not severe should a trivial difference of opinion as to 
 who is the toughest citizen get a constituent into 
 trouble that would prove serious to him if the laws 
 were enforced. 
 
 Now, the fact that the average of Calabazas 
 humanity was of unsurpassed rascality, did not at all 
 lessen this paradoxical desire for the forms of law and 
 legal restraint, and it followed that a universal cry 
 
IQ8 CALABAZAS. 
 
 went up from the one hundred or more Calabazans for 
 a local Justice of the Peace and a Constable. An 
 election was ordered, and with a unanimity seldom 
 seen, the choice of Justice fell upon Mr. Drinkwater, 
 U. S. Custom Officer, and for Constable, upon a Mr. 
 Davis, both of whom qualified in bonds only and 
 were duly installed after the customary bar-room 
 festivities. 
 
 Mr. Drinkwater, or Drinky, hailed from a highly 
 moral prohibition State ; but it is not to be inferred 
 that he partook of any of the high moral attributes of 
 that super- virtuous State; in fact, as a consumer of 
 distilled liquors, he was as unexcelled as his other 
 fellow -citizens of Calabazas were unexcelled in their 
 various amiable weaknesses. After an acquaintance 
 with him, one ceased to wonder at the prohibition 
 politics of his native State. There were no degrees in 
 his drunkenness, he was either dead sober or dead 
 drunk; neither were there any degrees in his moods; 
 he was either on a pinnacle of hope and joy, or he was 
 in the depths of despair. His joy was intensified by 
 copious draughts of Mescal, or still more bountiful 
 imbibitions of the same nectar assuaged his grief. 
 After a few preliminary cocktails, he was evenly bal- 
 anced between excessive hope or the blackest despair, 
 accompanied by tears. Should his thoughts at this 
 moment be crossed by visions of captured smugglers 
 excessive hope of magnificent rew r ards, sufficient for a 
 lifetime of heavenly Mescal, took possession of him. 
 Not that he ever saw anything of value smuggled from 
 Mexico, or ever saw anything in Mexico worth smug- 
 gling out of that blessed country, but Mescal. In 
 
THE JUSTICE. 199 
 
 times of danger or drouth, premonitions of smugglers, 
 called him to the Line, where a distillery operated by 
 day and night. Should the balance sink to the side 
 of despair, fearful pictures of gun-fighters, bent on 
 avenging injuries, assailed his fancy, and still more 
 frightful thoughts of possible treasury agents visiting 
 his department in disguise, to call him to account, in- 
 creased his misery. Any self-contained, reticent 
 stranger around town was sufficient to bring on him 
 a paroxysm of despair, and cause a temporary visit to 
 the Line. 
 
 The older saloon keepers having on bar tags 
 sufficient evidences of their misplaced confidence in 
 his solvency, and as the acclimated citizen never 
 invited him to refresh at their expense, excepting 
 when they were themselves in a maudlin state of 
 intoxication, Drinky was obliged to celebrate his joys 
 and drown his sorrow in Mescal, a liquor of flaming, 
 penetrating qualities. Of this choice spirit he man- 
 aged to keep himself well supplied from the Nogales 
 distillery, where it was to be had for fifty cents a 
 gallon; therefore a visit to Nogales, was going from an 
 internal revenue purgatory to an untaxed paradise. 
 
 The Mexican stage was another unfailing source of 
 Mescal supply ; the railroad laborers returning from 
 Sonora, being generally loaded down with reserve 
 supplies of this liquor. Drinky's examination of the 
 trunks was perfunctory, but his search of valises and 
 gripsacks was rigid. With virtuous indignation and 
 governmental sternness would the tariff tax be de- 
 manded, or the Mescal confiscated. Taxes on occa- 
 
200 CALABAZAS. 
 
 sional loads of oranges or lemons was about all the 
 other revenue of the office. 
 
 Returns of the confiscated Mescal were made to his 
 ever parched throat. His cash returns were made to 
 the distillery at Nogales. The El Paso Collector was 
 ignored in either case, hence Drinky's continual fears 
 of treasury agents. After a successful cash foray on 
 stage passengers or orange freighters, he would leave 
 Calabazas in ecstacies of hope that he might intercept 
 a band of smugglers which of course would be sure 
 to enter by the most traveled route, ride to Nogales, 
 and return full of the glorious Mescal, and a contingent 
 supply, well housed in two demijohns, one of which 
 would swing from either side of his saddle bow. 
 
 Upon being elected Justice, Drinky, without loss of 
 time, rented from himself, as Custom Officer, the right 
 to use the Custom House as a Court room, which ar- 
 rangement was favorable to -him from any point of view 
 that he looked at it. A Justice's Docket was bought 
 by popular subscription. His law library consisted of 
 a U. S. Revised Statutes, one half of a Pocket Diction- 
 ary, a treatise on Chicken Culture, and a three year 
 old Medical Polyglot Almanac in the English, Spanish, 
 Scandinavian, and Chinese languages, bound in black, 
 upon which, on account of its color and vagueness, 
 witnesses were sworn. 
 
 Davis, the Constable, a burly fellow, claimed for 
 himself a fearless record. He carried a pocketful of 
 photographs of noted criminals, and gazed long and 
 seriously at new arrivals, much to their discomposure. 
 He was never known to be on hand to quell a disturb- 
 ance, or to arrest any one, but a woman or Chinaman. 
 
THE JUSTICE. 201 
 
 He made many boisterous starts after fleeing criminals, 
 but, unless Chinese, they invariably reached the 
 boundary line and safety. He had a phenomenally 
 intelligent horse that, when chasing criminals, never 
 failed to contract some ailment that disabled him, as 
 soon as the little ridge was crossed that shut them from 
 the view of the town. A pebble in the road, an un- 
 lucky nail, a twist of the leg in a rut, he never missed 
 except when chasing a Chinaman, who would be 
 brought in triumphal entry at the animal's tail. 
 
 Davis preparing to earn mileage fees was a sight to 
 be remembered. His splendid horse, furnished with a 
 saddle that was the choicest specimen of the Mexican 
 saddler's handiwork, a mass of ornamented leather and 
 bearskin, heavily silver mounted, with numberless 
 buckskin thongs flying about it; the horse's head 
 hidden in a network of silver rosettes and hair bridle 
 gear, connected with a Spanish bit large enough for a 
 stove grate, which, when the horse champed upon it, 
 could be heard a block away. Davis mounted, som- 
 brero on head, bearskin leggings, riata tied to the 
 saddle-horn, Winchester rifle across the saddle-bow, 
 bowie-knife in boot leg, two ivory handled revolvers 
 slung to his massive silver mounted waist belt, full of 
 pistol cartridges, and over his shoulders a belt rilled 
 with rifle cartridges, was a knight fit to capture the 
 State of Sonora without a requisition. 
 
 The crowning glory of his regalia were his spurs. 
 They were of polished, plated, and engraved steel, 
 having rowels not less than four inches in diameter. 
 Great twisted, polished steel chains, looped over, under 
 and around the foot, and fastened with heavy steel 
 
202 CALABAZAS. 
 
 buckles, held the spurs in place. Pendant on either 
 side hung a number of pear-shaped steel buttons, which 
 jingled musically when the horse was in motion, and 
 warned fleeing criminals that the constable was on 
 their trail. On horseback, the spurs immortalized 
 him; but, dismounted, they detracted from his dignity, 
 and put him on mortal level. Afoot, he was a painful 
 sight, he walked as one afflicted with some serious 
 affection of the knee joint, even the musical tinkling 
 of the bells, and his deadly decorations could not dis- 
 tract attention from the halty, high lifted footsteps 
 necessary to clear his heavy laden feet from the ground 
 as he entered a saloon ; but, notwithstanding his im- 
 pressive and warlike appearance, Davis' campaigns, 
 except after Chinese, were disastrous failures, In the 
 expressive language of the Calabazas poker sharp, the 
 Constable and Justice were " a good pair." 
 
 No business of importance came before the Justice 
 the first month or two. A few Chinamen and Mexi- 
 cans, people whom no one cared for except as a source 
 of income, were fined on general principles. These 
 fines supplied a grateful, though limited, Mescal and 
 gambling fund to the officers. At length a peculiarly 
 atrocious murder was committed at one of the hurdy- 
 houses, the particulars of which were most foul and 
 brutal. 
 
 In all frontier towns there are a few good natured 
 harmless beings, almost imbecile from the alcoholic 
 disease, who hang around saloons and hurdy-houses 
 doing menial chores, their sole pay being an occa- 
 sional dime, or a drink of the precious and energizing 
 whisky ; their meals, fugitive crackers and consump- 
 
THE JUSTICE. 203 
 
 tive sardines from the bar lunch ; and their beds, a 
 saloon chair or bench. It is an extraordinary coinci- 
 dence that they are always known as ''Jack" or 
 ' ' Billy. ' ' Have persons bearing these names a natural 
 tendency to go to the devil ? Parents beware ! 
 
 One of these poor fellows was employed at the Big 
 Casino hurdy-house, to do the chores and to call, the 
 dance figures. He was pursuing his nightly vocation, 
 and the dance was in full progress, when the Big 
 Casino was entered by Rocky Dick, a "bad man" of 
 Calabazas, accompanied by a couple of friends. The 
 trio had been drinking heavily, and Rocky Dick had 
 come to interview Harry, the proprietor, for the pur- 
 pose of settling some ancient score or imagined insult ; 
 his friends accompanied him to see that he received 
 fair play and got the drop. Harry not being in, the 
 whisky laden voice of the ruffian was raised in giving 
 utterance to dire threats, and the most fearful, com- 
 plicated, and abundant oaths, confirmatory of , his 
 intention to ' ' do up " his enemy of the Big Casino at 
 the first opportunity. 
 
 His friends, armed to the teeth, stood around the 
 entrance, so that none could leave the house to warn 
 the expected victim. The music ceased, and the 
 dancers stood in their places; nothing was to be 
 heard but the drunken voice of Rocky Dick, cate- 
 chising Billy as to the whereabouts or expected return 
 of the proprietor. Poor Billy, docile and mild man- 
 nered, deprecated the wrath of Rocky Dick, and 
 vainly attempted to make peace for his absent em- 
 ployer. He tried to mollify Dick by proper humility, 
 and earnestly insisted that he was laboring under 
 
204 CALABAZAS. 
 
 a mistake, caused by mischief makers who desired 
 to see a fight, and told him of the many friendly 
 expressions that Harry had used concerning him. 
 
 The result of Billy's friendly efforts was fatal ta him- 
 self, for instead of being mollified, Rocky Dick, intent 
 on murdering some one, wasted no more time in 
 inconsequent talk, but placidly rested the muzzle of 
 his revolver against William's head, and with the 
 touch of a finger on the trigger, released that friendly 
 person from all earthly cares and friendships. Billy 
 had called his last dance ; the unfortunate fellow fell 
 dead where he had stood. The murderer ordered the 
 dancing to proceed; and this almost inconceivable 
 ruffian, as he stood by the dead body of his victim 
 with the smoking pistol in his hand, called out the 
 remaining figures of the interrupted quadrille. When 
 the dance ended, Rocky Dick stepped into the dark- 
 ness, and was not again seen in Calabazas. Though 
 there were twenty armed men present, no attempt was 
 made to arrest the murderer. This was the town's 
 first "natural death" since the election. With the 
 disappearance of the murderer, the music and dancing 
 ceased for a night, but the bar reaped a harvest from 
 the witnesses to the affair, and from those brought 
 there by curiosity. 
 
 In a few minutes all Calabazas knew of the murder. 
 Drinky and Davis were hunted up, and much indigna- 
 tion was expressed that they had not been on hand to 
 save Billy's life. As soon as it was ascertained that 
 the slayer had resigned the freedom of Calabazas, 
 there was a consuming desire for his arrest ; every 
 man in town offered to lend some other man a rifle, 
 
THE JUSTICE. 205 
 
 or horse, or pistol, that the fugitive might be pursued 
 and arrested. Davis' horse became suddenly lame, 
 and Drinky was afflicted with a complication of dis- 
 orders that kept him in bed. At day-light a cattle- 
 man came into town and said that the murderer had 
 stopped at the grader's camp, and forced a teamster 
 to saddle a fine mule, which he had then mounted, 
 and ridden toward to the L,ine, thus adding to the 
 murder the more heinous crime in Arizona of mule 
 stealing. 
 
 The anger of the CalaDazans now knew no bounds. 
 Every man in the town was in favor of every other 
 man invading Mexico to arrest this ruffian, and an 
 emissary was despatched to demand the presence of 
 the Justice. When that store house of legal lore was 
 made aware that the murderer was supposedly on 
 Mexican soil, he became so enraged that he arose, 
 dressed himself, braced up with Mescal, and visited 
 the Big Casino, where, before accepting treats, he 
 took a cursory view of Billy's dead body that still lay 
 where it had fallen. After viewing the dead body, 
 indulging at the bar, and again making sure that the 
 murderer had left the Territory, Drinky, with great 
 alacrity, ordered Davis to pursue and arrest him. 
 That valiant officer was neither a hasty nor incon- 
 siderate man, and reasoned with himself that Rocky 
 Dick possibly had not yet crossed the Line, therefore 
 any hasty pursuit might bring them together more 
 closely than desirable, and informed Drinky that he 
 must issue a warrant. This the Justice refused to do 
 until he had first consulted his law library. Finding 
 nothing in the U. S. Revised Statutes, the Fragmental 
 
THK JUSTICE. 207 
 
 Dictionary, the Treatise on Chicken Culture, or the 
 Polyglot Almanac, bearing upon a Justice's duties, he 
 declined to issue a warrant until after the inquest. 
 Drinky feared that Rocky Dick was not surely out of 
 the way, and that he might take a flying visit to 
 Calabazas, and interview him concerning such a 
 serious breach of etiquette. 
 
 Billy's body was brought to the corral, and laid out 
 in a stall, for the Big Casino girls objected to 
 stumbling over it when waltzing. Drinky, as coroner, 
 immediately summoned a jury, and an inquest was 
 held. The jury viewed the body, to re-assure them- 
 selves that Billy was still dead, and, returning to the 
 courtroom, took in all the evidence, whisky and 
 cigars brought forward. Drinky consulted the Re- 
 vised Statutes. Whilst reading, the news came in 
 that the murderer had been seen coming toward 
 Calabazas. Drinky immediately charged the jury to 
 bring in a verdict of "death from natural causes," 
 for, said he, "When Rocky wanted Casino Harry, 
 Billy should not have argued with him ; and it was 
 only natural that he should suffer for unnecessarily 
 drawing Rocky 's anger upon himself." One-half of 
 the jury brought in a verdict of " murder," which was 
 contrary to instructions ; the other half brought in a 
 verdict as directed, "death from natural causes," 
 which was entered, and Billy was then planted upon 
 the mesa with about as much ceremony as a fence 
 post. 
 
 The verdict caused much feeling among those not 
 identified with the proceedings, and therefore had 
 nothing to fear from Rocky Dick. These citizens, 
 
208 CALABAZAS. 
 
 backed by the legal advice of Crandall, demanded 
 that a warrant be issued. About the same time, a 
 party just from Nogales said the murderer had been 
 seen a little beyond the line. Upon hearing this, 
 Drinky erased the verdict of ' ' death from natural 
 causes," and inserted, " death from a gun shot wound 
 fired with murderous intent by Rocky Dick," and 
 issued a warrant for that gentleman's immediate 
 arrest. Davis, donning his regalia to the last cart- 
 ridge, mounted his horse that sagacious animal 
 having recovered from his temporary ailment and 
 soon disappeared behind the ridge at the head of the 
 valley. 
 
 Davis, when he left Calabazas, felt fully assured 
 that Rocky Dick, after stealing the mule, had ridden 
 safely into Mexico. If his deductions were correct, 
 his duty would end when he reached Nogales, and 
 was assured there that the murderer had passed on his 
 way south, for on no account would he invade a 
 friendly State after him. Feeling secure in his belief, 
 Davis rode leisurely along the dusty road. The jingle 
 of his war-like accoutrements kept time to the half 
 trot, half walking gait of his horse. The broad brim 
 of his hat was pulled down to shade his eyes from the 
 glaring sun, and he was thinking intently of the 
 lucky windfall in fees that the murder would bring 
 him. Abstruse calculations concerning the number 
 of miles he could ride at fifteen cents a mile, while 
 hunting Rocky, caused thoughtful wrinkles to cover 
 his forehead. Extradition papers might be issued 
 that would enable him to profitably extend his trip 
 over the Mexican States, after the roads and trails had 
 
THE JUSTICE. 209 
 
 been exhausted in making mileage throughout Ari- 
 zona and New Mexico. He would write to friends in 
 the various towns asking them to tell the local papers 
 that they had seen Rocky at those places. Of course 
 he would have to go and investigate, the mileage 
 would be all right. If he could only sneak up on Dick 
 and get the drop. " If Ah ! I have it. The Mexi- 
 can officers! The Costa Garde ! that's it, they aint 
 afraid of the devil ! ' ' For twenty dollars they would 
 follow and arrest, or kill Rocky ; w r ould bind him hand 
 and foot and deliver him over now, or hold him in the 
 hills till a reward was offered, and then divide. He 
 would tackle them as soon as he reached Nogales. 
 Rocky "wasn't no pigeon," and maybe the boys 
 wouldn't think he had nerve when he brought him in 
 oh, no ! Ha, ha ! he would tell how he trailed 
 him into Mexico and rode into his ambush, and 
 Rocky had the drop ; but, before he could shoot, he 
 just slid off his horse on the far side, drew a bead on 
 Rocky, and 
 
 ' ' Hey, there ! you ! hold up your 
 
 hands!" Bang! 
 
 At the sound of the shot, Davis instinctively hugged 
 his horse's neck. The frightened animal reared and, 
 before he could be checked, was within a few feet of 
 Rocky, who, pistol in hand, stood under the bushes in 
 a little stream that washed the foot of the hill, around 
 which the road suddenly turned, and Davis would 
 have seen him first if that astute officer had not been 
 so intently thinking of mileage, rewards, and the lies 
 to be told his constituents. 
 
 In his efforts to check the frightened horse, the 
 
2IO CALABAZAS. 
 
 worse frightened constable let fall his rifle, and lost 
 his pistols from the holsters at his waist. In spite of 
 his surprise and struggle with the horse, he retained 
 enough presence of mind to yell lustily, 
 
 "I'll stop! - , don't shoot! L,et go, Rocky !- 
 the horse ! hold down your gun ! Iain' tnothing against 
 
 you ! Whoa ! you ! ' ' 
 
 With a watchful eye and sarcastic grin Rocky Dick 
 waited until the horse was quieted, and then said, 
 while he kept his pistol levelled on Davis, 
 * ' Put them hams up, and no fooling. ' ' 
 The constable's hands went up in a flash. Rocky 
 then stepped out into the road, picked up the rifle and 
 pistols, took the knife from Davis' boot leg, and made 
 him throw his shoulder and waist cartridge belts to 
 the roadside. Rocky tossed the newly acquired war 
 material into the bushes across the stream, and took 
 up his first position with his feet in the water, never 
 letting Davis get from before the pistol. He now 
 asked him, " L,ooking for me? I ought to give you 
 one for luck." 
 
 11 Who? Me? Why, I never lost you, Dick! " 
 ' ' What in the devil are you doing here then ? ' ' 
 "Who? Me? Why, I was just going to Nogales." 
 "You were, hey?" (sarcastically): "Yes, you 
 were." (Fiercely): " Well, youain'tgoing to no 
 Nogales." 
 
 ' ' Why, I don't want you, Dick. I haven't anything 
 against you, nor you against me. looking for you ! 
 Blazes, Dick, there ain't no reward out for you yet! I 
 ain't working for my health. I wouldn't arrest you 
 now! " 
 
THE JUSTICE. 211 
 
 Dick (sotto voce) : "Arrest - , I guess not!" 
 "Say, Rocky, honest, what made you kill Billy?" 
 "It was an accident, Davis. I was full, and I shot 
 him before I thought. Harry was the man I wanted. 
 I was Billy's friend, and if you fellows will square 
 things, I'll pay all the burying expenses and put up a 
 nice stone. ' ' 
 
 Davis gave Dick all of the Calabazas news, and Dick 
 explained that he was foot sore from running to the 
 graders camp, and had camped so near the Line, 
 because he had no money to pay the Mexican's duty on 
 his mule ; he was now waiting for his friends to bring 
 him some money. The two exchanged opinions on 
 the merits of the various kinds of pistols, and Davis 
 condoled with Rocky on the hard times he would have 
 among the "Greasers." Having conversationally 
 smoothed the way, Davis now made urgent and pitiful 
 appeals to Dick to return him the weapons, after un- 
 loading them, and taking the cartridges from the belts. 
 He protested his friendship, and tried to impress Dick 
 with the ridiculousness of thinking any law officer 
 would look for him until a reward was offered. With 
 almost tears in his eyes, and a whining voice, he spoke 
 of the scorn that he would meet with from the Cala- 
 bazans if he should return in such a plight ; but Rocky 
 was unmoved, and only said "Rats." He was as 
 adamant, no appeal, no fervid tender of friendship, no 
 strenuous denial of intention to arrest could move him, 
 he simply said, " Now you git." 
 
 Davis turned his horse homeward, and had dejectedly 
 gone but a few feet, when he suddenly brightened up, 
 
212 CALABAZAS. 
 
 checked his horse, turned himself in the saddle, and 
 hailed Rocky : 
 
 "Say, Rocky, you're jam up on the lyine and can 
 step over in a minute, spose you let me take the mule 
 home ; the boys are out on a hunt for it, and there'll 
 be trouble if they drop along." 
 
 Rocky grasped at this opportunity for ridding him- 
 self of some of his enemies, and gratefully said, 
 
 " That's so. Thanks, old pard. Wait a minute and 
 I'll get him for you." 
 
 While Dick was putting an old saddle and bridle on 
 the mule, Davis actually began to whistle softly as he 
 thought of leading the animal into town and the plaus- 
 ible story he would tell of how, after a desperate chase 
 he had lost Dick, but had captured the mule, and that 
 the Mexican officers had confiscated his weapons, 
 because he had come armed into Mexico. At this 
 moment Dick led the mule to Davis, and said, " Now, 
 you take the mule back to the boys, and tell them I'll 
 do as much for them some day." 
 
 11 All right," said Davis, as he reached out for the 
 mule's bridle; "you are doing the square thing. 
 So long old man." 
 
 11 But," said Dick, " you'd better ride the mule." 
 
 " Oh, I can lead him," said Davis. 
 
 4 * Get down off that horse ! ' ' sternly commanded 
 Dick, raising his pistol, " I'm going to trade you." 
 
 Davis did not care about trading, but Rocky and 
 the pistol were so persistent that he slowly dismounted 
 and began unsaddling his horse. 
 
 " None of that," said Dick. "We'll trade even ;" 
 and he said it so shortly, that Davis hurriedly mounted 
 
THK JUSTICE. 213 
 
 the mule and again headed for Calabazas, cursing him- 
 self for his unfortunate suggestion to Dick. 
 
 Now, although Davis had ridden but nine miles 
 after leaving Calabazas, he journeyed one hundred and 
 thirty miles before again reaching that haven ; for as 
 soon as he was out of Rocky 's sight, he cut across the 
 mesas, and, avoiding Calabazas or other settlements, 
 rode straight for Tucson, where he arrived the next 
 night. There he purchased new weapons, and returned 
 to Calabazas a week after leaving in pursuit of Dick. 
 He told a lurid story of his chase after Dick, of trailing 
 him with blood-hound sagacity ; of having chased him 
 into a canon, and just as he had done so, the Mexicans 
 had arrested him for coming armed and without a 
 requisition into Mexico after a criminal, and of having 
 to bribe the Mexican officer with his horse and saddle 
 to release him, and much more to the same effect. In 
 conclusion, he said that Rocky had talked with him 
 after the Mexicans interfered, saying, that the killing 
 of Billy was an accident, and as soon as he could get 
 bonds, he was going to return and surrender himself, 
 and would make it hot for his enemies. 
 
 When Drinky heard this, he was all upset. Rocky 
 coming back to surrender himself ! These bad men 
 were full of deceit, and so unreliable ! 
 
 His fertility of resource again came into play ; he 
 erased the verdict of " murder " from his docket, and 
 inserted therein that Billy had ' 'died from the accidental 
 discharge of a pistol wound in the hand of Rocky Dick." 
 
 The murderer was afterward strung up by some 
 railroad hands in Sonora, whom he had offended. 
 Pete-the-rancher, who had been an unseen witness to 
 
214 CALABAZAS. 
 
 the meeting between Rocky and Davis, eventually 
 gave the true version of the affair. 
 
 During one of Drinky's periodical visits to the Line, 
 in pursuit of his special happiness, a fight took place 
 between two hurdy girls. The combatants were 
 arrested by the vigilant Davis, and incarcerated in the 
 corral. A deputy was sworn in to keep strict watch 
 and ward that they might not escape, and cause the 
 loss of numerous Mescals or poker-chips for which 
 their fines would pay. Davis hunted up Drinky, who, 
 without loss of time, returned and convened court. 
 Drinky was a prudent Justice. In his court ' ' Plaintiff' ' 
 and "Defendant," as distinguishing legal terms, were 
 replaced by ' ' Cash " and * ' No Cash. ' ' If the defend- 
 ant was * ' broke, ' ' and the plaintiff ' ' flush, ' ' the plain- 
 tiff was fined all the traffic would bear ; if vice versa, 
 then vice versa. If both had money, a fine was 
 imposed on each. He could see neither sense nor 
 profit in locking up penniless persons just to feed and 
 watch, and two penniless offenders would not be 
 arrested. As his decisions of this character had 
 affected none but miners, laborers who were friend- 
 less till pay day or women, no great umbrage was 
 taken ; to the contrary, the Calabazans rather justified 
 his methods, as the money was but a few hours pass- 
 ing from the court's hands into theirs. 
 
 The Court was called to such order as might be 
 possible, where Judge, Constable, prisoners, witnesses, 
 and spectators were standing, lounging or sitting 
 around, chewing, smoking, and talking in a small 
 room. During the trial, the witnesses and prisoners 
 had no false delicacy about giving the lie direct to 
 

 THE JUSTICE. 215 
 
 each other, or to the Hon. Justice, as the occasion 
 might demand. Such gross breaches of legal decorum 
 were punished by a fine in one breath, to be remitted 
 in the next should the fined ones hint that they 
 might have a word to say after Court adjourned. As 
 no fighting man appeared in behalf of the plaintiff, and 
 a very tough one championed the defendant, the 
 Court, irrespective of the evidence, fined the plaintiff 
 forty-five dollars or thirty days in the corral ; for, as 
 he said, she could have run away and avoided the con- 
 flict. The Court also felt sure that the other girls 
 would subscribe and pay the fine. The convicted girl, 
 being far more valuable in a hurdy-house than as a 
 corral inmate, Boston Charlie, a hurdy man, paid her 
 fine, and carried her off in triumph. Drinky was 
 again possessed of a Mescal fund of magnitude and 
 dimensions, which was speedily divided between him- 
 self and Davis, both of whom sought a favorite saloon 
 and game, to be in a few hours as bankrupt as before. 
 
 Now it was that Drinky was to find that ' ' Uneasy 
 lies the head that wears a crown." Scarcely had he 
 retired in the morning to snatch a much needed rest, 
 after a night's vigils at the faro table, than he was 
 confronted by the hurdy-man who had so chivalrously 
 paid the girl's fine. The gentleman was fully 
 "heeled," and, without unnecessary ceremony, in 
 tones forcible and profane, demanded of Drinky that 
 he "fork over that forty-five dollars, and fork it over 
 pretty- -quick." 
 
 This abrupt and businesslike cavalier curtly ex- 
 plained that the girl had promised to dance in his 
 house if he would pay her fine. A difference of opinion 
 
2l6 CALABAZAS. 
 
 had arisen between them while worshipping at the 
 shrine of Bacchus, he claiming that she should work 
 it out, and she, that the payment was in the nature of 
 a royalty or retainer, to insure her charming presence 
 in his saloon. Not being able to reconcile their differ- 
 ences, she, with the treachery and venom that is 
 inherent in the female sex, absconded to a rival house ; 
 therefore, as he tersely said, "he'd be - - if he was 
 sucker enough to pay any forty-five dollars for her." 
 When Drinky had sufficiently recovered from the 
 shock brought on him by this sudden and unparalleled 
 demand, he vainly reasoned with the reclamatory 
 hurdy-man. He spoke of the dignity attached to the 
 office of Justice ; the man said there was just as much 
 dignity in forty-five dollars. Then Drinky laid down 
 the law, as set forth in the U. S. Revised Statutes, 
 the Chicken Compendium, the lacerated Dictionary, 
 and the Polyglot Almanac. The hurdy-man defied 
 the law and condemned the law-makers. Drinky then 
 said that he should not be expected to make restitution 
 of more than one-half the money, as Davis had the 
 other half. The hurdy-man said that he had given no 
 money to Davis ; if Drinky had he had better take it 
 out of Davis' hide something Drinky was incapable 
 of doing. Drinky was in desperate straits; he had 
 not anticipated this. He was without a dollar, and 
 the man facing him had two pistols, and an extremely 
 wicked glare in his eyes. The girl could not be re- 
 arrested, for the fine had been paid and she had been 
 discharged. Bewildered by the magnitude of his 
 trouble, Drinky begged for time ; the hurdy-man com- 
 placently granted him two hours in his comnany. 
 
THE JUSTICE. 2iy 
 
 In company with Boston Charlie and sudden death, 
 Drinky started on a forlorn hunt after the necessary 
 forty-five dollars and salvation. The sympathetically 
 offered whiskies, gins, and Mescals, had no enticement 
 for him in his great tribulation. He could find no one 
 who cared to make a total loss of forty-five dollars, by 
 loaning it to a gentleman of his known financial shaki- 
 ness, and each refusal plunged him into deeper despair. 
 Unsuccessfully he tried to borrow the whole amount 
 from one person, or portions of it from several. He was 
 about to give up in despair and let the hurdy-man 
 work his will, when he thought of his friend the store- 
 keeper. It was his last chance, and he would try him. 
 He appealed to the storekeeper, and poured forth his 
 tale of woe, the hurdy-man meanwhile standing 
 grimly by. When Drinky had finished his story, the 
 storekeeper shook his head negatively, could not ac- 
 commodate him Tucson remittances, etc. 
 
 Standing near Drinky as he made his appeal was an 
 Englishman a rosy cheeked, quiet, good-natured 
 looking fellow, one of those who wear cork hats and 
 Havelocks indiscriminately at the Pyramids or on an 
 Arctic glacier, and devote their lives to globe trotting. 
 One whom the customs of Calabazas had kept in a per- 
 petual fog of astonishment, and afloat with brandy 
 and soda. 
 
 He had listened intently to the blood-curdling tale, 
 of the consequences that would ensue if the forty-five 
 dollars were not forthcoming, and, as Drinky turned 
 despairingly away, he quickty, and without comment, 
 slipped two twenties and a ten dollar gold piece into 
 his hand. Drinky almost burst a blood vessel in the 
 
218 CALABAZAS. 
 
 excess of his bewilderment ; a total change came over 
 himself and Boston Charlie. He passed the two 
 twenties to Charlie, and gazed at the remaining ten 
 with unalloyed pleasure. Enough would remain for 
 many joyful and blissful Mescals. Boston Charlie 
 avariciously eyeing the ten, grasped Drinky's hand 
 fervently, saying, " Drinky, old man, you are all right; 
 I haven't anything agin you ; come down to-night and 
 have a dance and a time with me. " 
 
 Answered Drinky: "I say, Charlie, let us call 
 heads or tails to see who shall take the whole ten." 
 Charlie agreed, and they flipped the gold piece right 
 before that surprised Briton's face. Drinky winning 
 the money, they left the store arm in arm, the Judge 
 first telling his benefactor, with great dignity, that 
 he was obliged for the temporary accommodation, and 
 as he expected his salary warrant in a day or two, 
 would repay him. There were no strings on his 
 expectations, though there were many on his salary, 
 which was invariably discounted six months ahead. 
 Neither Drinky nor Charlie invited the Englishman 
 to refresh himself at his own expense, nor was the 
 money repaid him. The following morning he left for 
 Mexico, whence he had come. 
 
 After Drinky had parted from Boston Charlie, he 
 met Crandall, who advised that a full entry be made 
 on the Docket that the forty-five dollars had been 
 returned under threats and duress, for by doing this 
 he could keep his Docket straight, and not be forced 
 to account for the fine to the county. He had already 
 erased the conviction and fine entry, and had entered 
 up an acquittal of the girl ; but as he thought Cran- 
 
THE JUSTICE. 
 
 dall's advice was sound, his handy knife erased the 
 verdict of acquittal, and re-entered the conviction and 
 fine ; also that the fine had been returned under 
 duress, and threats of great bodily harm. 
 
 Now Charlie being a shrewd fellow, upon whom 
 were no flies but the Calabazas ones suspected 
 that Drinky would, as usual, tamper with the Docket, 
 to the future peril of his (Charlie's) peace and person, 
 therefore the next day he honored "Old Man" 
 Drinky with another visit, and demanded to see the 
 Docket. When the ponderous tome was opened and 
 read, he levelled his cocked pistol at "Old Boy" 
 Drinky 's head, and prevailed upon him to erase all 
 that reflected upon him (Charlie) in any way, and to 
 let the conviction stand with the fine entered as paid. 
 
 Drinky began to tire of judicial honors. His 
 judge's couch had been one of thorns instead of roses. 
 There were too many dangers to be apprehended from 
 bad men, who might object to his decisions if not in 
 consonance with their wishes. Though the fees and 
 fines, when collected, supplied abundant Mescal 
 money, they were too transitory ; too many of the fined 
 recalled their money after it had been spent, and they 
 were therefore more in the nature of temporary loans. 
 Again, the county officers might call for his docket, 
 and demand an account ; in fact, the office was so sur- 
 rounded with disagreeable contingencies that he 
 decided to resign and retire to private life. It was a 
 solace that his bondsmen were worthless, and could not 
 be injured in any event. 
 
 Drinky was foolish enough to openly signify his 
 intention of resigning. As this would be an indelible 
 
220 CALABAZAS. 
 
 disgrace to Calabazas, several of the more patriotic 
 citizens met, and being fully armed, not t only con- 
 vinced him that it would be very unadvisable to think 
 of resigning, but extremely dangerous as well. With 
 great cunning Drinky then induced his bondsmen to 
 withdraw. When it was known that the bondsmen 
 had withdrawn, it was surprising to see the number 
 of hurdy-men and rustlers who insisted upon going on 
 his bonds. At last Drinky reconciled himself, and 
 made no further attempts to go contrary to the ' * popu- 
 lar will." 
 
 Having, in his capacity as coroner and police magis- 
 trate, made his mark, or several of them, and rubbed 
 them out, and replaced them with other marks, Drinky, 
 it was natural to think, would now wear his enforced 
 ermine with some pride and pleasure; but for him 
 neither pride nor pleasure existed when the income 
 was insecure, and his Docket showed a large indebt- 
 edness to the County. This last did not keep him 
 awake at all, for it was only a short distance to the 
 Line and the cancellation of all Arizona debts; but 
 Mescal money was a desideratum, and he ever prayed 
 for fees to come, upon which there could be no reclama- 
 tion. He looked with jaundiced eyes on Davis, who 
 never divided or refunded, and whose monthly mileage 
 fees were enough to have carried him all over Arizona. 
 
 Early one morning, Drinky, cold sober, was in a 
 mournful, bemoaning reverie over the bitter fate that 
 had left him barren of a Mescal stake, and taxing his 
 ingenuity to conceive some way of raising such stake, 
 when he was interrupted by Casino Harry, who dropped 
 in to say that he wanted a wedding ceremony per- 
 
THE JUSTICE. 221 
 
 formed between himself and Bonnie, who had been in 
 the dumps since the Calabazas Baby had gone over the 
 Line. Crandall had informed them that Drinky could 
 get them into fully as much trouble as any preacher 
 or priest in America; hence the call upon him. 
 Harry stated he preferred it that way, because, since 
 the Rev. Jones' experience he had " kinder lost faith 
 in the gospel sharps. ' ' He also said that they wished 
 to be married that night, but on no account for him to 
 mention it, for he " didn't want to be joshed or have 
 any monkey business about it. " As an earnest that 
 no rebating or dead heading was expected, he handed 
 the thirsty Justice a ten dollar piece, which so surprised 
 Drinky that he almost fainted. 
 
 Drinky immediately perched on the loftiest pinnacle 
 of hope ; he could hardly be restrained from instantly 
 setting forth for the Line, where he felt assured that 
 vast hordes of smugglers were in the distillery, prepar- 
 ing to cross with the wealth of the Indies. He was 
 prevailed upon to subside himself by the hurdy-girls, 
 that had dropped in to assist in decorating the room, 
 and who, without awaiting Drinky 's pleasure, cleaned 
 up and arranged the room to suit their own taste. 
 The cracker boxes were unceremoniously chucked out 
 of the window. The table was moved to one end of 
 the room, and over it was festooned the American flag, 
 belonging to the Custom House. Cottonwood boughs 
 were tied to the ceiling joists to give the room a 
 bowery appearance, and chairs were brought in and 
 arranged around the sides. At the opposite end from 
 the table, a corner was partitioned off by means of 
 several sheets pinned together ; this was to be a vestal 
 
222 CALABAZAS. 
 
 chamber, in which the bride could remain with her 
 friends, until composed enough to sacrifice herself on 
 the altar of matrimony. 
 
 Finding himself ignored and treated with contumely 
 by the ladies, Drinky adjourned to the saloon under- 
 neath. Now when Drinky, ten dollars and a bar 
 were in conjunction, there was a powerful pull all 
 around, powerful enough to increase the eccentricity 
 of his orbit and pull him to the floor in most instances. 
 
 He was in the bar-room but a few minutes, be- 
 fore the bottle and ten dollar piece were convivi- 
 ally tapped. Drinky was very thoughtful, and each 
 drink increased his solemnity. Presently, between 
 drinks, he leaned over and confidentially asked the bar- 
 keeper if he had a prayer book. That worthy, with- 
 out loss of time, placed his revolver where it could be 
 reached readily, should Drinky give further evidence 
 of being dangerously insane, and shortly answered, 
 14 Naw, and you don't git no more liquor here nuther." 
 Drinky hereupon, being stricken with a great whisky 
 grief, seated himself on a cracker box. sobbed for a few 
 moments, and then, wiping his eyes, asked, "Did you 
 ever marry anybody?" 
 
 This was too much, it was infringing on the sacred 
 feelings of friendship. No man could stand having such 
 unheard of questions propounded in dead earnest, and 
 not cut loose from all ties of amity and friendship. 
 Drinky was up to something, and would maybe hoodoo 
 the house. Great Caesar ! he might kneel down and 
 begin praying right where he was ! The very thought 
 of such a disaster almost stopped the barkeeper's heart 
 beat; he grabbed the pistol in one hand, rushed to 
 
THE JUSTICE. 223 
 
 Drinky, caught that much changed gentleman by the 
 scruff of the neck, and hustled him from the place 
 with " It's none of your - - business, - - may I be 
 
 . By the jumping ! it's my 
 business whether I ever married anybody or not ; ' ' 
 and re-entered the saloon, where he sat perspiring, 
 swearing, and casting baleful glances at the Judge, 
 who had fallen on his hands and knees, and remained 
 in that position crying, or singing that ' ' A bird sat on 
 a hickory limb," to the tune of "Nearer my God to 
 Thee. ' ' Cum Sing hearing the sob-laden song, came 
 out and straightened him up. Drinky leaned heavily 
 on him, and tearfully asked if he was married. Cum 
 Sing, fully as much surprised as had been the bar- 
 keeper, shook himself loose from his questioner, and 
 went into the hotel, muttering, "D'linky him clazy ; 
 wha's malla him ? Wha fo' me get mallied ? He 
 allee time d'lunk. Umph ! ' ' 
 
 After standing for a minute or two in the street, 
 Drinky staggered upstairs to his office. The room had 
 been prepared for the wedding, and the girls had left. 
 He sat by the table, and, resting his head on his arm, 
 slept a short time. Awakening, he went to the 
 library shelf, took down his favorite books of refer- 
 ence, and from behind them a bottle half full of 
 Mescal, hidden away in more prosperous times to tide 
 over famine periods. He brought them to the table, 
 opened the books, and, laying them to his hand, took 
 a swig from the bottle. 
 
 Having never witnessed a wedding, he was com- 
 pletely at loss, and closely scanned the books to find 
 something bearing upon marriage, but could find 
 
224 CALABAZAS. 
 
 nothing on the subject, excepting in the Chicken 
 Treatise, and that was an article on the proper method 
 of mating buff-cochin fowls. He closed his books 
 with a sigh, took another swig from the bottle, and 
 determined to look around for some person who had 
 been married, to enlighten him. Unfortunately, 
 Crandall was in Tucson. Hearing the Tucson stage 
 in, he went downstairs hoping that Crandall might be 
 a passenger. But there were two or three women and 
 a Mexican only. The women went into the Palace 
 Hotel to wait until the stage started, and Drinky went 
 on his hunt after marriage information. Seeing the 
 storekeeper standing in his door, he walked over, and 
 after a few r preliminary remarks, asked abruptly, 
 
 " Say, were you ever married ?" 
 
 The storekeeper turned as white as a sheet, and 
 asked in turn, 
 
 ' ' What do you ask me that for ?" 
 
 1 ' Because I want to know. * ' 
 
 " What do you want to know for ?" 
 
 " I won't tell you till you answer my question." 
 
 "Well (pretending to see a customer in the store) 
 all right, I'm coming. Say, Drinky, wait a minute ; 
 I'll be right back." 
 
 The storekeeper hastened into the store, grasped 
 the arm of his clerk, whispered mysteriously to him 
 and went out the back door to the corral, where he 
 saddled a horse and rode off in the direction of the 
 Line. Drinky sat on the box whittling for about half 
 an hour, and wondering what kept the storekeeper. 
 The clerk presently lounged out to where he was, and 
 said to him 
 
THE JUSTICE. 225 
 
 " Say, Drinky, what did you say to the boss ?" 
 
 " I didn't say anything to him, except to ask him if 
 he was ever married. I'm waiting for him." 
 
 The clerk whistled, thoughtfully rubbed his chin, 
 and asked, 
 
 " Any women on the coach ?" 
 
 "Yes, two or three." 
 
 The clerk whistled a little more. " Are you wait- 
 ing for the boss?" 
 
 " Yes, and I wish he would come." 
 
 " I wouldn't wait. The boss has gone to Tucson." 
 
 ' * Gone to Tucson ! when the devil did he go there ! 
 He told me to wait a minute. ' ' 
 
 " I don't know ; he told me he was going, and for 
 me not to say anything about it, right away. He 
 didn't like something you said to him." 
 
 Drinky was puzzled. He tried to think of what he 
 could possibly have said to either offend or frighten 
 the man, and the more he thought the more he was 
 confused. As he slowly walked along, trying to 
 unravel the matter, he was hailed by the Doctor, who 
 was standing at his tent door. 
 
 " Hello, Drinky, come over." 
 
 4 'Hello, Doc. Say, you are just the man lam 
 looking for." 
 
 j Drinky went across to the Doctor, and both entered 
 the tent. After a short conversation on general 
 matters, the Doctor said, 
 
 " What did you want to see me for, Drink ?" 
 
 "Oh, yes ! Say, Doc., you've been married, 
 haven't you ?" 
 
 The Doctor's vivacity was gone in a moment. He 
 
226 CALABAZAS. 
 
 straightened up on the camp chair as if his back bone 
 had been suddenly petrified. He eyed Drinky, who 
 was trimming his nails, and with great dignity 
 answered, 
 
 "No, Mr. Drinkwater, I have never had that 
 pleasure." 
 
 Drinky, startled by the change in the Doctor's 
 manner and tone, looked up into his face with a fixed 
 stare of surprise. The Doctor seemed to shrivel and 
 wilt before the stare, for he grasped and effusively 
 shook Drinky 's hand, saying, 
 
 " Drinky, old man, you'll believe my sacred word 
 of honor, won't you?" 
 
 11 Of course, Doc.," answered the amazed Drinky. 
 
 " Well, Drinky, you are a Justice, and can admin- 
 ister oaths, and I swear to you now, say, have you a 
 Bible?" 
 
 " What in the devil is the matter with you, Doc. ?" 
 
 " Nothing, but I just want to convince you. 
 Drinky, here is the " Guiacum" bottle. " G" stands 
 for God, and I'll swear on that " G" that I never was 
 married." 
 
 " Well, Doc., I believe you. Your word's enough; 
 I only asked for a certain purpose. ' ' 
 
 For a few moments there was a constrained silence ; 
 it was broken by the Doctor saying, 
 
 " Coach in?" 
 
 " Yes, long ago." 
 
 " Any passengers?" 
 
 ' ' Two or three women and a Greaser. ' ' 
 
 More constrained silence, again broken by the 
 Doctor : 
 
THE JUSTICE. 227 
 
 " I was just starting for Tubac as you dropped in. 
 Very sick child, and I must be going." 
 
 They bade each other a chilly "so long." Drinky 
 went out into the street, and the doctor to his stable 
 tent, where he saddled his horse, and, in a short while, 
 was riding rapidly toward Pete's-the-rancher. 
 
 Drinky wandered aimlessly up the street, in a more 
 confused condition than before. How he did wish the 
 widow or Lucky Smith were still in town. They 
 could inform him. Why did'nt Harry go to Tucson? 
 If he hadn't spent the ten dollars he'd give it back 
 and let him go elsewhere. He would go and take a 
 drink. In pursuance of his last resolve, he went into 
 the Pantheon, shook Bob's barkeeper Johnnie for 
 the drinks, won, and ordered a cocktail. While the 
 cocktail was being mixed, he was impressed that 
 Johnnie had the appearance of a married man; he 
 would ask him. So he broached the subject with 
 
 " Say, Johnnie, were you ever married ? " 
 
 The question was hardly from Drinky 's mouth, 
 before the glass of cocktails went smashing to the floor 
 from Johnnie's nerveless hand, and that handsome, 
 mashing, nervy and hasty gentleman stood as dnmb 
 as an oyster, open mouthed and staring at Drinky 
 with protruding eyes. Suddenly a broad grin covered 
 his face, he kicked the broken glass under the counter, 
 and, reaching over, grasped Drinky's hand, saying: 
 
 "That's one on me, Drinky. Ha-ha-ha! why, you 
 just took my wind away. I thought you asked me if 
 I had ever been murdered. Ha-ha-ha! Well, I'm 
 What'll you have? I was thinking of something else. 
 You will have one on me from this out when you want 
 
228 CALABAZAS. 
 
 it. Was I ever married ? Ha-ha. No, Drinky, I never 
 was; and, old boy, I don't want to be." 
 
 Drinky listened with a sad, sanguinary, death-bed 
 smile on his face. He did not try to think any more, 
 he would be as crazy as all he had been talking to if 
 he did ; so he swallowed his cocktail, then took one 
 with Johnnie, and then anticipated two days on 
 Johnnie and took a couple more. He now began feel- 
 ing better, and almost entirely forgot about the wed- 
 ding. Having no further business in the Pantheon, 
 he bade Johnnie "See you again," and started to go, 
 when Johnnie asked : 
 
 "Stage in?" 
 
 "Yes, long ago." 
 
 1 * Any passengers ? ' ' 
 
 "Couple of women and a Greaser." 
 
 "Have any talk with them? Did you ask the 
 news?" 
 
 "Didn't have to ask. One of them was a sassy 
 little blonde that would talk you deaf, dumb, and 
 blind in a minute. She gave all the news. ' ' 
 
 Johnnie walked from behind the bar and over to 
 Drinky, and threw his arm over the Judge's shoulder. 
 
 "Gabby blonde; well dressed, thinks she owns the 
 earth. The blondes all do. ' ' 
 
 "Did you see her? " said Drinky. 
 
 " No, I thought so from what you said about her. 
 Come, Drinky, have another with me." 
 
 While Drinky had another with him, Johnnie con- 
 fidentially told him that he was going to start for 
 Tombstone as soon as Bob came in ; had just heard his 
 brother had been in a shooting scrape, and he wanted 
 
THK JUSTICE. 229 
 
 to get him over the Line until things were "squared," 
 so if any one asks for me, Drinky, you don't know 
 where I am sabee ' ' 
 
 Drinky, wondering at Johnnie's unusual generosity, 
 returned to the Custom House. He was no sooner 
 away than Johnnie despatched a messenger for Bob, 
 from whom he borrowed a horse to go and see his 
 " brother who was sick at the railroad camp, " and 
 rode toward the Line. He had 'not been gone longer 
 than a half hour when Pete-the-rancher rode furiously 
 into town, halted at the Golden Fleece, and excitedly 
 asked the bystanders. 
 
 4 'What the devil's up down at the Line?" 
 
 The crowd was very much surprised at the question, 
 did not know of anything having happened at Nogales, 
 and asked him, "Why?" 
 
 "Well, the storekeeper went by my place like he 
 was running a quarter race, and I hollered to know 
 "What's up," and he yelled back something and 
 waved his hand. He was hardly out of sight, when 
 here comes Doc. like h 1 beating tan bark, and I 
 hollered to him to know "What's up," and he yelled 
 something back and waved his hand. He was hardly 
 out of sight before here comes Bob's Johnnie on Bob's 
 gray just skinning the ground like greased lightning, 
 and I hollered to him to know "What's up," and he 
 yelled something back and waved his hand, and I made 
 up my mind to come and see, and the first - - scrub 
 that rid along and yelled back and waved his hand 
 
 at me, that I would take a shot at him for luck . ' ' 
 
 None could explain the riddle, and exhausted them- 
 selves in straights and cocktails, taken at the saloons 
 
230 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 in rotation and at Pete's expense, till that excitable 
 gentleman was calmed. 
 
 On returning to the Custom House, Drinky found 
 everything prepared for the wedding. He sat on his 
 official throne, and pondered on the extraordinary fact 
 that no Calabazan had ever been married ; and won- 
 dered if he had really strayed into a colony of monks. 
 He was disturbed by the entrance of Boston Charlie, 
 who wanted an attachment issued. The business 
 settled, Boston Charlie who was a truculent fellow 
 looked around at the decorations and remarked : 
 
 "You're fixed up in great shape." 
 
 "Yes," said Drinky, (and remembering Harry's 
 injunction.)" Some of the girls going to have a birth- 
 day party to-night ; ' ' and with the same old thirst for 
 marital information deluging his mind, he continued : 
 
 "Charlie, were you ever married? " 
 
 "Say that agin, and say it slow," said the choleric 
 Charlie. 
 
 Drinky said it again, and slow; he had hardly 
 finished when "Biff! Slap! Bang!" and he had one 
 on the eye, another on the nose, and another on the 
 jaw, from Charlie's ponderous fist; and was then 
 taken by the collar and shaken like a terrier shakes a 
 rat, before being thrown back into his chair limp and 
 helpless, to listen to Charlie answer his question with 
 abundant profanity. 
 
 ' ' You're spying on me, are you ? Yes, I'm married, 
 and it's none of your business, is it? That's why 
 you have been playing friendly is it, you! That's 
 what took you to Tucson so often, is it? Yes, I'm 
 married, and the - - old crow is living in Tuc- 
 
THE JUSTICE. 231 
 
 son, and can stay there, and what are you going to 
 do about it ? Don't you meddle with my business 
 
 again or I'll ." Here Boston Charlie took his 
 
 leave, muttering and blaspheming every step, leaving 
 Drinky to explain to the crowd about the row if he 
 wanted to. 
 
 Drinky was now thoroughly demoralized. He 
 wished for death. He sauntered to the saloon below, 
 and after so explaining his questions of the morning 
 to the barkeeper as to remove all suspicions concern- 
 ing his sanity, took a couple of drinks on their 
 re-cemented friendship, and fell asleep on a cracker 
 box. 
 
 At nine o'clock P.M., Bonnie, dressed for the 
 wedding, entered the Custom House in company with 
 her hurdy-girl friends. Harry and his friends put in 
 their appearance a little later. Drinky, who had 
 sobered up by some marvellous process, known to 
 himself only, looked quite Episcopal in the city suit, 
 white necktie and paper collar that he had borrowed 
 from the clerk at the store. After a few jokes, and 
 compliments to the bride and groom had passed, 
 the groom invited all hands to take a drink, and they 
 adjourned to the bar underneath, the ladies going 
 with Bonnie into the vestal chamber to gossip with 
 her as a hurdy-girl for the last time. The men sent 
 up beer to cheer the ladies until their return. After 
 drinking to the groom's health, Handsome George 
 insisted that they should go to the Golden Fleece, 
 "and smile." The company accepted the invitation, 
 and visited the Golden Fleece, whence beers were 
 again sent to the ladies. Curly Pete would feel 
 
THK JUSTICE. 233 
 
 slighted if his place was not visited, so the Coliseum 
 was called at and more beer was sent to the ladies. 
 Bottle Bob was a quiet man, but he could be aroused 
 if insulted in cold blood, so the Pantheon had the call 
 beer was sent to the ladies. At each place the 
 sports, not to be behind hand, also added health treats 
 with beer for the ladies. By the time that all of the 
 more prominent and friendly places had been visited, 
 ome of the crowd were drunk, some half drunk, and 
 some just jolly. Among the last was the bridegroom, 
 Drinky being listed with the first division. 
 
 The hour being now nearly half past eleven, P.M., 
 Harry said he thought it was about time to visit the 
 ladies. Timely thought, it was. They left the noisy 
 bar-room, and stepped into the street, to have their 
 ears assailed with piercing cries, shrieks, ejaculations, 
 and recriminations, coming from the ladies in the 
 Custom House. Harry and the more sober, lost no 
 time in getting to the room, and what a sight met their 
 gaze. Poor Bonnie was standing on the table crying, 
 some of the women had torn dresses, scratched faces, 
 and bitten cheeks ; all but Bonnie had inflamed faces 
 and swollen eyes. Some were sitting with their backs 
 to the wall, lolling, crying, and mumbling oaths. The 
 curtains had been torn from the vestal chamber, the 
 chairs were thrown about the room some of them 
 broken and the green Cottonwood boughs had been 
 pulled down and littered over the floor. 
 
 The first beer had found the ladies chatting as 
 friendly as could be wished. 
 
 The second beer had promoted good feeling and 
 initiated sworn confidences. 
 
234 CALABAZAS. 
 
 The third beer inaugurated a period of mutual hu- 
 mility concerning one's own personal charms and ac- 
 complishments, with exaggerated praises of the 
 others. 
 
 The fourth beer had brought up memories of the 
 various localities in which they had lived, and the 
 financial comparisons consequent thereto. 
 
 The fifth beer had brought up the subject of dancing, 
 with remarks concerning each lady's grace or skill oil. 
 the floor, and whispered asides to dearest friends, that 
 "Liz is clumsy," or " Flora vain," or "Sallie is a 
 heavy weight in a waltz, ' ' and * ' Jennie is overbalanced 
 by her feet." 
 
 The sixth beer brought on an exchange of the former 
 asides to those most interested in not hearing them, 
 from those that they had been whispered to, in strict- 
 est confidence, and the ladies began forming them- 
 selves into cliques. 
 
 The seventh beer revived memories of present and 
 past ' * gentlemen friends. ' ' Their virtues, appear- 
 ances, and fighting qualities, and ardent love for their 
 1 'lady friends." 
 
 The eighth beer incited rude remarks concerning 
 the personal deficiencies of each other, to each other, 
 accompanied by profanity, sniffs, shruggings of shoul- 
 ders, and supercilious glances from one to another. 
 
 The ninth beer caused a " perfect lady" to slap a 
 "dirty hussy's " face, each of whom had many warm- 
 tempered sympathizers. 
 
 The tenth beer had brought on a culmination of the 
 personal differences, very violent, and which had 
 caused Bonnie who would not drink, and had been 
 
THE JUSTICE. 235 
 
 trying to keep peace among them to jump on the 
 table, and out of harm's way. 
 
 The eleventh beer was tossed out of a window. 
 
 Harry and his sober friends had separated the wo- 
 men by the time Drinky and the remainder of the 
 guests staggered into the room. Harry angrily sent 
 the most noisy women away in company with the most 
 drunken men, and the room was put in order. The 
 quarrel among the girls had thrown a cloud over the 
 company, and, as the wedding couple stood before the 
 Justice awaiting the ceremony, the tear-stained face of 
 Bonnie, and solemn one of Harry, were more befitting 
 a funeral than a marriage feast. 
 
 Whilst the room was being cleared up, Drinky had 
 sat upon the edge of the table suffering from the most 
 intense alcoholic grief. The row between the ladies 
 had brought afresh to his mind the misfortunes of the 
 day, of the abuse by the barkeeper, of the extraordi- 
 nary conduct of those from whom he had sought mar- 
 ital information, and of his unmerited thrashing by 
 Boston Charlie. The more his mind dwelt upon these 
 troubles, the greater became his sympathy for himself, 
 until he was at length melted into bitter tears of indig- 
 nation at his fateful fortunes. He looked up and saw 
 the wedding party standing before him, and the ine- 
 briated gentleman was immediately possessed with 
 the idea that they were angry, and watching him for 
 no good purpose. Looking at them, and winking his 
 eyes slowly and sleepily, he asked with much 
 acrimony : 
 
 ' ' What are you hie watching me for ? " 
 
 ' ' Aint you going to marry us ? " asked Harry. 
 
236 CALABAZAS. 
 
 "No, I don't know how ! " said Drinky in a burst 
 of uncontrolable grief, as he slid from the table to the 
 floor. 
 
 Bonnie restrained Harry from obliterating the refrac- 
 tory Justice on the instant. George and Pete lifted up 
 the sorrow laden man, who continued: 
 
 "Bonnie and Harry, I'm your sob hie friend, 
 and I tell you this sob hie marry business is no 
 good sob hie. Can't you skip the town sob hie 
 just as well now as you can sob hie afterwards?" 
 sob. 
 
 "What did you say?" yelled Harry, who could 
 hardly believe his ears. 
 
 Bonnie seated herself, silently crying, and murmur- 
 ing, "Did any poor girl ever have such a time getting 
 married? Something will surely happen, and I just 
 know it. For two pins I would give the whole thing 
 up." 
 
 " I say this," said Drinky, alcoholic grief having 
 giving way to alcoholic dignity, emphasized with 
 "hies" (which the reader can put in,) "I asked 
 Frank if he was married, and he chucked me out. 
 I asked Tom, and he said for me to wait a minute, 
 and then skipped. I asked Doc., and he skipped. I 
 asked Johnnie, and he skipped. I asked Charlie, and 
 he gave me a belting. He would have skipped too, 
 only he knew just where his old crow was. 
 
 Pete and Bob held Harry that he might not dis- 
 member Drinky on the spot, and George asked: 
 
 ' ' What did they say, Drinky ? ' ' 
 
 ' ' Say ! say nothing. Every one of them wanted to 
 know if any passengers came on the stage. ' ' 
 
THE JUSTICE. 237 
 
 " What did you tell them? " 
 
 ' ' Tell them ! I told them that two or three women 
 got out and went into the Palace." 
 
 Pete and Bob drew a quick breath, cast rapid 
 glances at each other, and dropped Harry's arm as 
 though he had been an electric battery. George 
 grasped Drinky by the throat and excitedly said: 
 
 " lyook here, Drink}', no- -lies now, or there 
 will be trouble. What did they look like? Describe 
 them. 
 
 4 'Now, just look at that," gurgled Drinky. "I 
 don't remember. They went off in the stage." 
 
 " O - h," said all three, as George loosened his 
 grasp on Drinky's wind. The three smiled at each 
 other, and unitedly said in the most amiable tones, 
 " Went right on, did you say, Drinky ? " 
 
 "Yes," said Drinky, now alcoholically sullen. 
 
 Suddenly becoming alcoholically exasperated, he 
 yelled: 
 
 "And if they hadn't gone on you fellows would be 
 skipping now. You can't be married without want- 
 ing to skip." 
 
 In an instant the unfortunate Drinky was involved 
 in a cyclonic mass of whirling arms and drapery, 
 while, at intervals, a thunderbolt struck him on his 
 face, cheeks, ears, or head, accompanied by a feeling 
 as if he was held by his hair over a bottomless abyss. 
 It was only Bonnie, who howled in his ear: 
 
 ' ' You drunken loafer you you mean to say that 
 we want to skip ? Haven't I danced in Harry's house 
 all over Arizona ? Couldn't we have skipped long ago 
 if we wanted to ? You you take that, and that, 
 
238 CAI.ABAZAS. 
 
 and that, AND THAT, AND THAT ! Now, then, you 
 stand right up here and marry us. Stand up here, 
 Harry; come here George, Pete, and Bob; come Jen- 
 nie and Dora. ' ' 
 
 The flushed cheeks and blazing eyes of the enraged 
 beauty had a greater effect on Drinky than anything 
 that had happened. The more so, as Bonnie was 
 noted for her sweet disposition and unfailing good 
 humor. Accordingly Drinky humbly said: 
 
 " But, Bonnie, I don't know how." 
 
 " Oh," goodnaturedly said George, " all you've got 
 to do, Drinky, is to ask them if they want to marry, 
 and then tell them they were married, and enter it on 
 your Docket. I was married by a justice, but! 'hastily 
 adding,' 'my wife is dead." 
 
 By a fatal coincidence, Pete had been married, and 
 his wife had died ; and Bob had been married, and his 
 wife had died. Bonnie smiled as Drinky said: 
 
 "All right, then, Bonnie, if you want to die, I'll 
 say the word. ' ' 
 
 " Say, Drinky, forgive me like a good fellow? " said 
 Bonnie sweetly. ' * I know you didn't mean anything, 
 but everything has gone wrong, and I was so mad. 
 Please forgive me, Drinky ; my wedding night, too." 
 
 4 'All right, Bonnie," answered the easily placated 
 Drinky. "Now, do you want to marry Harry ? " 
 
 "Yes, indeed I do, Drinky." 
 
 " Harry, do you want to marry Bonnie ? " 
 
 " That's what I'm here for," said Harry surlily. 
 
 " All right, then, you're married, and I hope you 
 won't skip the first time anyone asks you if you are." 
 
 Bonnie was inclined to find fault with this uncere- 
 
THE JUSTICE. 239 
 
 monious ceremony, but, on the assurance of the wit- 
 nesses that the marriage was " solid," she accepted it, 
 and they went to the Palace Hotel, where Cum Sing 
 had a table spread with such good cheer and abundant 
 champagne, that the company soon became merry, and 
 Drinky drunk again. Amidst restored cheerfulness, 
 the party broke up in the small hours of the morning, 
 and Harry took Bonnie to the Grand Central, her 
 future home, while the others went their several ways. 
 
 Before retiring on the floor to rest, Drinky swore on 
 his whole library, never to be implicated in another 
 wedding, and, with great care and deliberation, made 
 an entry in his Docket. Crandall, who returned the 
 next day, convinced Harry and Bonnie that the wed- 
 ding was all right. He then went to the Custom 
 House and examined the Docket to make sure. For- 
 tunately for Drinky, Harry did not come, for the entry 
 that met Crandall' s eyes was, that " Harry had been 
 convicted of an assault and fined ten dollars. ' ' Drinky 
 was hunted up, his handy knife soon erased this entry, 
 and under the friendly instructions of Crandall a cor- 
 rect one was made, a certificate made out for Bonnie, 
 and the license endorsed. 
 
 The morning after the wedding, Bob sent a courier 
 to Johnnie, telling of the wedding and the object of 
 Drinky 's questions. The three men returned, but for 
 some days bore a hunted, fugitive look, and started 
 nervously at hearing a female voice. The Doctor 
 never explained why he went to Nogales, to attend a 
 sick child in Tubac. Johnnie was reticent as to how 
 he expected, by going to Nogales, to help his brother 
 in Tombstone out of a scrape, and the storekeeper 
 
240 CALABAZAS. 
 
 never alluded to why he so suddenly changed his mind 
 about going to Tucson. 
 
 Nearly a month after the wedding, Charlie's " Old 
 Crow " unexpectedly put in an appearance, and that 
 bulldozing individual became the meekest of men, 
 and the most attentive of husbands. He made ample 
 apologies to Drinky, and in return for unlimited sil- 
 ence concerning the remarks made about the ' ' Old 
 Crow," tendered him unlimited refreshments. 
 
 Bonnie was a good wife, and Harry a better husband 
 than was to be expected of a hurdy-man, and they no 
 doubt are as happy as couples married under happier 
 auspices. 
 
 Drinky 's final caper of heading a mob against the 
 Chinese of the town, made it prudent for him to absent 
 himself from American jurisdiction, and take up his 
 residence in Mexico, that land of frijoles, tortillas, 
 and the abundant, much-loved, and untaxed Mescal. 
 
 The establishing of the new railroad town at No- 
 gales, had seriously affected Calabazas. Business was 
 not so brisk. Not so many strangers came in. The 
 rattle of the faro chips was not so universally heard, 
 and the call of ' ' Keno ! ' ' startled the ear and caused 
 undignified expressions to drop from the hearer. It 
 was appalling to the Calabazans to think that if this 
 thing kept on, the town might attain a degree of 
 decency and quietness, and with their usual fertility 
 of resource, they began looking around to devise some 
 plan by which to dissipate their ennui. 
 
 With the growth of the town, some additions had 
 been made to the Chinese brick yard colony. Their 
 boss was a portly, dignified, gentlemanly old fellow ; 
 
THE JUSTICE. 241 
 
 a generous subscriber to the local charities, and the 
 banker for his countrymen. To Drinky he had made 
 loans, that he must have known would eventuate into 
 gifts or total losses. It is doubtful if the old fellow 
 had but a few dollars on hand, but it was rumored 
 that he had several thousand with him. The Calabaz- 
 ans were modest, they could have as easily said mil- 
 lions, the amount cut no figure. The hope of getting 
 five dollars would have been a sufficient incentive for 
 the mob. 
 
 In the town, one or two wash houses had been 
 opened, and one Foo Chong and wife, had established 
 the ' ' Delmonico ' ' restaurant. The couple were tact- 
 ful, polite, exquisitely neat for Calabazas and spoke 
 English quite well. Mrs. Foo Chong was petite, and 
 had a mild, gentle face, that was really so pretty, that 
 her oblique eyes and the barbaric arrangement of her 
 hair, could not entirely hide its pleasantness. 
 
 At this period, 1877-1882, it had become common 
 in the Western States to attribute any business de- 
 pression, failure of crops, petering out of mines, 
 destructive earthquakes, floods, disastrous shipwrecks, 
 idiocy, or malformed births, to Chinese competi- 
 tion ; therefore it was perfectly natural for the Cala- 
 bazans to ascribe the town's unwonted quietness to 
 the same cause. The exasperating sobriety and per- 
 tinacious industry of these undesirable people were a 
 standing menace to the Calabazas social fabric. Then, 
 what could be more natural than for the citizens to think 
 that it would be amusing and profitable to attack them, 
 destroy their property, and incidentally confiscate their 
 money and valuables? Of course, the avowed griev- 
 
CALABAZAS. 
 
 ance was the Chinese competition, but it would have 
 taken a search warrant to have found out wherein the 
 competition existed. There was not a resident of 
 Calabazas that would have performed any of the labors 
 given to the Chinese or in fact any labor at all un- 
 less persuaded to do so at the muzzle of a loaded shot- 
 gun. 
 
 A few days before the riot, the storekeeper sold out 
 his business, for cash, at much less than its value. It 
 was said that he intended to skip over the I^ine and 
 avoid his creditors; but this was not considered as 
 being anything amiss; to the contrary, the Calabazans 
 looked upon it as rather a commendable course to pur- 
 sue, and it being but a short distance to the I,ine, no 
 one thought it strange that he hung around town 
 instead of going away at once. 
 
 The fourth evening after the sale of the store, clus- 
 ters of men were seen gathered here and there on the 
 bottom, talking earnestly and loudly against the Chi- 
 nese. These clusters gradually drifted together, the 
 ex-storekeeper, Drinky, and a "tough" from the 
 railroad camp, being extremely busy amongst them. 
 As the evening wore on, the crowd became more ven- 
 emous from the numerous drinks indulged in, loudly 
 cursing the Chinese and the government ; but the dis- 
 cussions of half drunken men were not much noticed 
 in Calabazas. 
 
 About nine o'clock, a body of fifty men were seen 
 marching solidly toward the Custom House, and 
 before any one had an idea of what they intended 
 doing, the Palace Hotel was attacked, torn down, and 
 its furniture and crockery smashed. Up to this time 
 
THK JUSTICE. 243 
 
 the mob had been sullen and disposed to mischief, but 
 their native good humor was restored when Cum Sing, 
 worthy man, came out to argue matters. When an 
 American grabbed him by the cue and jerked his head 
 back with a force almost sufficient to dislocate his 
 neck, at the same time saying, in the purest English, 
 "Hey, monkey, close yer mug or I'll gi'e yer a 
 swipe;" and another American yelled, "Cut the 
 hay then divil's ears off, ' ' and another American said, 
 " Dass was," and still an other American encouraged 
 the fun with, " Killa de damma China." The crowd 
 just writhed with merriment, and so many partici- 
 pated in giving him joyous kicks in the ribs, and 
 amusing whacks over the head, that his feeble cries of, 
 " Wha fo' you killee me," were soon stilled, and he 
 was left lying a most ridiculous and senseless heap of 
 broken China, amidst the wreck of the Palace Hotel. 
 There is a superlative sensation of bliss comes over 
 one when he grasps a fleeing Chinaman's cue, and 
 prepares to give him " a bat for luck." One's life 
 has been wasted who has not experienced this great 
 pleasure. 
 
 Hi Sing and I/> Sing fled on the wings of the wind 
 into the darkness. How funnily they shrieked for 
 mercy when chased, and were jocularly fired at, in 
 hopes of tickling their lungs or livers with a bullet. 
 It was great fun for the Calabazans. 
 
 Having squeezed, kneaded, and hammered the last 
 particle of amusement from Cum Sing and his belong- 
 ings, and at the same time incidentally squared all 
 board due him from them, they proceeded to attack 
 Foo Chong's restaurant. They cut his new tent into 
 
244 CALABAZAS. 
 
 ribbons, hilariously smashed his stove, crockery, and 
 furniture into bits, and exhilaratingly stole everything 
 else. Foo Chong fought like a demon to save his property 
 and protect his wife from injury, fought preposterously 
 like a human being, but he was beaten nearly to insen- 
 sibility, and his harmless, gentle little wife was kicked 
 and beaten almost as severely. That he might not 
 think the joke was carried too far, they picked his 
 pockets and tore her jewelry from her ears, head and 
 hands. 
 
 There are some people totally devoid of all sense of 
 humor, and of maudlin sympathies, whose stony 
 hearts would have been moved if they could have seen 
 this heathen couple, after recovering their senses, 
 sitting amid the ruins of their all, bleeding (real 
 blood like anyone else's) from their numerous wounds. 
 The head of the innocent, maltreated wife rested on 
 her poor husband's shoulder, while he fondled one of 
 her small, bruised hands (just as if a person could love 
 in Chinese !) Her once ornately decorated and 
 plastered hair was matted with blood (genuine). In 
 gentle, subdued words and half-suppressed sobs, she 
 bemoaned their ruin and abuse and tried to console 
 her husband. And then to see Foo so softly smooth 
 and caress her hands, while he, oblivious to his own 
 hurts, said in his " dirty lingo," " Me no ca-a fo* my 
 money, me no ca-a fo' house, but he bleak my wife's 
 feelins. Me bollow all him money to buy tent an buy 
 g'lub and now me no can pay. My flen tink me 
 logue." It was as mirth inspiring as a circus joke. 
 
 Actually this Chinaman did not have sense enough 
 to think of skipping over the I4ne ! Some of those 
 
THK JUSTICE. 245 
 
 maudlin people before spoken of might actually prefer 
 to have been one of the Chinese instead of the mob ! 
 And Mrs. Foo shedding tears, too ! She puckered her 
 face so differently from a white person ! the tears 
 squeezed out were round, pelucid, and rolled down 
 her cheeks perfectly natural so far so good ; but they 
 were not chemically the same as a white persons, 
 because the Chinese eat rats, and of course that alters 
 the whole combination. Their tears probably are 
 more in the nature of liquified laughing gas. How the 
 Mongolian digestive apparatus manages to extract a 
 volatile essence of mirth, from such a phlegmatic 
 rodent, is nature's secret, yet it must do so, for the 
 Chinese tears in Calabazas seemed to exhale some 
 subtle influence that created the most exhausting 
 laughter, amongst those so-called Christians, that 
 would have crucified the Saviour if the opportunity 
 had presented itself. Of course the idea of a Chinaman 
 having any sentiment will be laughed at, but it is a 
 fact, nevertheless, that Foo was so affected at his loss 
 of property, and his wife's grief, that he jumped up 
 and down like a jack-in-the-box, swore most frightful 
 oaths at his persecutors, told them to kill him, "Me 
 no flaid die," and challenged any one of them to fight 
 him you would have almost thought him human. 
 Fortunately the mob was too much interested in 
 destroying other places, and stealing each other's 
 clothing from the heathen's laundries, to pay attention 
 to his cries, and his wife smothered many of them by 
 putting her hands over his mouth. Bancroft UfcflW 
 The fact that they met with no resistance seemed to 
 madden the mob. Drinky was in his glory, and was 
 
246 CALABAZAS. 
 
 heard yelling, "Now for the brickyard Chinese." 
 Some of the rioters brought buckets of whisky from 
 lower saloons to refresh those exhausted by their 
 labors ; it disappeared down their villainous throats 
 like water, and increased their rancorous wit in 
 proportion. 
 
 Having eliminated the few Chinese tents from the 
 town, and chased their inmates into the darkness, or 
 beaten them into insensibility, the mob followed their 
 leaders to the brick yards. Here the Chinese, not 
 knowing how to take a joke, had barricaded them- 
 selves in their sleeping house with an intent to defend 
 their property, but when they heard the yelling and 
 swearing of the rioters, the firing of pistols, and 
 the drunken threats, all of them ran away but the 
 boss and a couple of the braver Chinese, who remained 
 to make an effort to save something. So many of the 
 mob were under obligations to him that he thought 
 assuredly he had some friends amongst them. 
 
 The rioters, in a minute after reaching the yard, 
 had hammered the boss and his two companions 
 enough to show that friendship ceased when amuse- 
 ment was in hand. Every nook and corner of the 
 buildings were searched for money ; for what right 
 had a Chinaman to money when a Calabazan wanted 
 whisky? Clothing was cut to pieces, and every arti- 
 cle these devilish Chinese had in the world, was want- 
 only destroyed. Rifles and pistols were fired at ran- 
 dom, in hopes of hitting some of the fleeing heathens, 
 for to kill a Chinaman is a meritorious act, and insures 
 a nomination to office ; besides, they were supposed to 
 
THE JUSTICE. 247 
 
 have carried off much valuable stuff and money ; actu- 
 ally robbing the mob ! 
 
 The work of the mob was so quickly done, that the 
 few law abiding cranks of the town had no time to 
 raise voice or hand to prevent it, should they have 
 been able to do so. But by the time the rioters started 
 for the brick yard, several " cranks" had gathered in 
 Mitchell's tent to devise some plan for checking them ; 
 some of whom had already advocated going to the 
 railroad camp, a short distance up the canon, looting 
 its store, and killing the proprietor, who was not 
 inclined their way. 
 
 Now Mitchell was an old army man, and, having no 
 spirit of mob adventure at all, thought it best to make 
 a counter attack on the mob. It would increase the 
 fun, and at the same time engage what few of the 
 population as were not enjoying themselves with the 
 Chinese. He soon had sixteen well armed men, who, 
 after electing him Captain, and handsome George 
 lieutenant, determined to face the mob. Foo Chong 
 and a negro were volunteers; no one had suspected 
 them of being brave ! but then we are often mistaken 
 in men. After giving Foo's wife refuge, Mitchell put 
 out his lights, and marched his men to the store. 
 What ammunition and fire arms he found there were 
 taken away. The storekeeper refused to join, as he 
 wished to remain neutral. Mitchell now marched his 
 men at double quick to the brick yard, and made an 
 ambush behind the remnant of a brick kiln. 
 
 The rioters were so intently occupied in looting the 
 Chinese houses, firing at random, kicking the boss 
 and his two companions at odd moments, and prepar- 
 
248 CAI<ABAZAS. 
 
 ing to burn the Chinese sleeping house, that they 
 had no idea that anyone else intended to join in the 
 hilarity, until the voice of Mitchell was heard above 
 the din, yelling at them to cease rioting and disperse, 
 also warning them that if another shot was fired that 
 there would be trouble. Just as he finished speaking, 
 a merry little pistol shot was heard from the rioters. 
 Mitchell ordered his men to aim high, for fear of 
 hurting a Chinaman fire together, and then to rush 
 on the rioters, firing their pistols from each hand. At 
 the given word, thirty-two pistols went off as one, and 
 the men dashed from behind their cover, yelling and 
 firing as they ran and there was no longer a mob 
 they had all, at the same moment, decided to run a 
 foot race to the town ; it wasn't cowardice, for mobs 
 are not cowardly (?) but more to see if Chinese compe- 
 tition had been re-established during their absence at 
 the brick yard. It must have been a pleasant sight to 
 the hidden Chinese to see the mob flee, even faster 
 than they had been made to fly. 
 
 No sooner had the rioters scattered, than the Chinese, 
 as if by magic, emerged from their hiding places, and 
 the just started flames of the bunk house were extin- 
 guished. The poor devils did not wait for daylight, 
 but bundled up the few scraps of clothing lying 
 around, and took the Tucson road, carrying their 
 wounded boss and his beaten men. Though tears 
 poured down their yellow cheeks, there was no sound 
 of crying. Their silent grief would have affected silly 
 people. 
 
 Knowing that the Chinese would not be followed, 
 Mitchell hurried his company back to check any 
 
THE JUSTICE. 249 
 
 attempt of the mob to sack the better class of tents. 
 It was not necessary, the mob had dissolved. The 
 town, if anything, was quieter than usual at this hour 
 That one volley and charge seemed to have brought 
 to them a proper realization of the crime they had 
 committed, and many of the more intelligent rioters 
 made for the boundary line at once. Mitchell and his 
 "cranks ' ' visited the river bottom tents, and expressed 
 in plain terms their opinion of the mob, but they found 
 no one to resent the remarks ; no one could be found 
 that had been engaged with the mob ; all had been 
 lookers on merely; the other fellows had been the 
 rioters. 
 
 Calabazas courtesies not being assimilative to 
 Chinese ideas, they abandoned the town. The Palace 
 Hotel was rebuilt at Nogales, but it had not its former 
 grandeur, nor flies, nor was Cum Sing such a chipper, 
 good natured landlord. Foo Chong and his wife 
 returned to Tucson, instead of going over the Line, 
 and both are working in their foolish Chinese manner 
 to earn money to repay that loaned him for his disas- 
 trous Calabazas venture. 
 
 Drink water, the ex-storekeeper, the ' 'tough, ' ' and the 
 other prominent comedians in the riot, skipped over 
 the Line, and it is possible that in Mexico, these 
 rioters will get at some time a taste of their own medi- 
 cine. The fact that the leaders of this mob, and its 
 most active members, were in debt to the Chinese for 
 board, washing, and borrowed money, may account 
 for their virtuous indignation against Chinese cheap 
 labor ; there was much method in Calabazas madness 
 fun. 
 
250 CALABAZAS. 
 
 It is but fair to Drinky to say that, when first 
 approached to join the mob, being sober, he utterly 
 refused ; but, after accepting the hospitalities of the 
 delegation, in the shape of insinuating and irresistable 
 Mescals, together with threats of personal violence, he 
 not only joined, but, as is characteristic of converts, 
 he was the most zealous of all. With him disappeared 
 his Docket. If that wonderful record is still in exist- 
 ence, it is about as interesting and decipherable as an 
 Egyptian hieroglyphic. 
 
 The riot put the finishing touch to the future of 
 Calabazas. The following morning a number of 
 apprehensive Calabazans took up their feet and 
 journeyed to Nogales, where the boundary line runs 
 through the center of the main street. It was sadden- 
 ing to see the aristocracy of the town brought so low 
 as to gamble with each other, or play the doleful and 
 unprofitable game of solitaire. The third day after 
 the riot, the prominent citizens could no longer stand 
 the peacefulness of the town. The Pantheon, Coli- 
 seum, Golden Fleece, and Big Casino were rolled up 
 and piled on wagons, with their chairs, tables, gamb- 
 ling paraphernalia, and bars, and the procession sol- 
 emnly wended its way to Nogales, that dragon on 
 the Line, that had swallowed up their friends and pa- 
 trons, who now, in moments of safety, can step over 
 the Line, and, free from care or anxiety, shuffle the 
 nimble poker chip, or add a notch to their pistol hilt, 
 and more blood to their record. 
 
 Of Calabazas, the name only remains. Where is 
 Handsome George, Curly Pete, or Bottle Bob, and 
 Casino Harry, the leaders of fashion and arbiters 
 
THE JUSTICE. 251 
 
 of that burg ? Where is Drinkwater, the Judge and 
 Custom Officer ? Where is Crandall, the good-natured 
 and generous ? Where the Calabazas Baby and Widow ? 
 the hurdy-girls? the terrified Kid and the energetic 
 Preacher? the "Bad men"? the vigilant Constable, 
 and all that went to make that town lively ? 
 
 If living, they are no doubt in just such another 
 town, undergoing such other experiences and dan- 
 gers, for their life could not be lived in a less reckless 
 or a quieter place. Their changing moods and gen- 
 erous acts, their impulsive sympathy, their cold- 
 blooded nerve, bloodthirsty quickness, profanity, dis- 
 sipation, and horse-play, remain as a memory only, to 
 those that natural depravity, or a desire for profit, 
 caused to be a part of their community. It may be that 
 an old-timer, visiting the deserted site of the once 
 lively town, can hear the ghostly yells of the mob, the 
 sounds of ghostly music, swearing and dancing from 
 the hurdy-houses, or the whistling of ghostly bullets 
 through the blistering air. 
 
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