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 Number Three. 
 
 I AM AFRAID 
 
 THERE IS A GOD! 
 
 FOUNDED ON FACT. 
 
 PUBLISHED BY FORD AND DAMRELL, 
 
 HPERANCE PRESS, WILSON'S LANE. 
 
 1833 ' 
 
Number Three. 
 
 I AM AFRAID 
 THERE IS A GOD! 
 
 FOUNDED ON FACT. 
 
 Third Edition. 
 
 PUBLISHED BY FORD AND DAMRELL, 
 
 TEMPERANCE PRESS, WILSON'S LAKE. 
 
 1833. 
 
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1833, by 
 
 FORD AND DAMRELL, 
 IH the Clerk's Office of the District Court of Massachusetts. 
 
TO THE READER. 
 
 FOR an unbeliever in the doctrines of revelation, 
 we can pray, that God would help his unbelie 
 For an unbeliever in the existence of a God, we 
 can scarcely frame w r ords, in the form of a suit 
 able petition. We shudder at our own presump 
 tion, as we approach the mercy-seat. 
 
 A Deist or an Atheist, in former days, might 
 nave been occasionally found, in our cities, wan 
 dering and alone; his hand, like the hand oflsh- 
 mael, against every man, and every man's hand 
 against him. 
 
 It is not so, at the present time. Infidelity and 
 Atheism plant their standard in the veiy heart 
 of our metropolis. Yet, in the words of our Deo- 
 laration of Rights, "It is the right as well as the 
 duty of all men in society, publicly, and at stated 
 seasons, to worship the SUPREME BEING, the great 
 Creator and Preserver of the universe." 
 
 For the miserable individual, who disbeliefs*, 
 
 /*? 
 
ir 
 
 all by himself, and troubles not the world with 
 the account of those crooked paths and painful 
 processes, by which he descends into those awful 
 depths, where he lies forlorn ; for him we have 
 no other feeling, than that of commiseration. 
 
 For the abandoned wretch, who dares, in the 
 most open and audacious manner, to lay his un 
 hallowed hands upon the book of God, not to 
 expound the scripture, but to prove the word of 
 God to be a lie ; who can teach nothing, because 
 he knows nothing ; who gathers around him a 
 group of both sexes and all ages, and endeavors to 
 prepare them for a career of infamy, by rending 
 away, one after another, the posts and pillars, 
 upon which the social compact is sustained ; 
 who would take away the hope, that makes the 
 humble Christian happy, and leave him nothing 
 but mourning, in his dying hour, for the oil of 
 joy; who vends books, indecent and abomina 
 ble in their character, and wilfully wicked in their 
 design ; for such a corrupt and profligate scoun 
 drel as this, we have no other feeling than a sen? 
 timent of unmeasured and unmingled abhorrence. 
 
 Can it be believed, that a wretch, sa depraved, 
 
can be found upon the earth, who will dare to 
 show his contempt for God's holy word, by hurling 
 the sacred book across the room, in a public as 
 sembly of males and females ! Such is the fact. 
 
 We leave the reflections to those, who well know 
 what offences are punishable by indictment at 
 common law, and to those who desire not to leave 
 their official duties unperformed. 
 
 The murderer, the thief, the corrupter of inno 
 cence, the advocate of "liberal" principles, the 
 consistent villain, who shudders at nothing but 
 the imputation of hypocrisy, who admits the 
 charge of seduction, but defies the world to show, 
 that he-ever laid claim to superior sanctity, these 
 arid their confederates, who are the main pillars of 
 infidel societies, are seldom cold water men. The 
 stimulus of intoxication impels its youthful votary 
 to the gaming house or the brothel ; and then, to re 
 lieve the conscience, yet unseared, of its oppressive 
 load, it conducts him to the schools of infidelity ; 
 where he is happy to be told, and struggles to be 
 lieve, that no crime, however atrocious, can entail 
 upon its perpetrator any punishment, beyond the 
 grave ; that " the judgment " shall never come ; 
 
vi 
 
 Mid that the ideas of a God and of a future state 
 are perfectly absurd. Schools of infidelity are ob 
 viously the preparatory houses for every variety of 
 crime ; and the offender, stained with crime, and 
 trembling with alarm, flies back for absolution ; and 
 is comforted, while he listens to the proclamation 
 of a miserable being, who is probably remarkable 
 for nothing, but his ignorance and his audacity, that 
 there is no God. 
 
 Life is passing like a dream. The grave ere long 
 will demand its tribute. No human being can de 
 monstrate, that there is NOT a God ; and the last 
 hour of the infidel may bring with it an age of 
 agony ; and his soul may be filled with the tremen 
 dous apprehension, that there is 1 
 
I AM AFRAID 
 
 THERE IS A GOD! 
 
 MY father was a respectable mechanic ia 
 the town of . On the subject of re 
 ligion there existed the most perfect unanimi 
 ty between my father and my mother ; and 
 their whole lives were ample illustrations of 
 their confidence in the promises of God, and 
 of their firm and sustaining belief in the pre 
 cepts and doctrines of Christianity. My par 
 ents were bofh members of the Temperance 
 Society, and earnest promoters of the cause, 
 to the extent of their limited influence and 
 ability. 
 
 They were the parents of three children, 
 Absalom, Bethiah, and myself. At the age of 
 forty-five, I look back upon their simple man- 
 
8 I AM AFRAID 74 
 
 ners and consistent piety, with a feeling of 
 
 affectionate respect. The village of 
 
 which was our place of residence, retains its 
 primitive simplicity, such as it was, some forty 
 years ago, in a degree beyond almost any vil 
 lage in the commonwealth : not because it is 
 situated, at a very remote distance from the 
 metropolis, for such is not the fact; but its 
 water privileges have not yet attracted the 
 serious attention of the manufacturer ; it lies 
 abroad from all the routes of existing canals 
 and contemplated railways ; it has not been so 
 fortunate as to become the residence of any 
 man of fortune, retired from the bustle of the 
 world ; and it has never given birth to any 
 more distinguished personage, than General 
 Driver, who keeps the public house ; is chair 
 man of the selectmen ; commands the mili 
 tia; and represents the town in the General 
 Court. 
 
 The village pound, and the old gunhouse, with 
 its red doors and weather beaten flagstaff, are 
 just where they were, when I used to gather 
 to the spot, with all the children of the village, 
 
75 THERE IS A GOD ! 9 
 
 to see Washington and Adams dragged forth 
 upon the common, on the fourth of July ; for 
 such were the titles of two brass four pounders,- 
 intrusted to the care of Captain Solomon 
 Dow. The Reverend Mr. Cooley is still the 
 parson of the parish; and, although a new 
 generation has sprung up, since the days of my 
 boyhood, there is enough remaining of all, that 
 once was, to enable the memory to play the 
 architect adroitly, and rebuild the edifice, with 
 all its parts and proportions, within and without. 
 Even of the pulpit cushion, upon which the good 
 man has administered, for forty years, there 
 is enough remaining to settle the question of 
 identity. The young women enter the meeting 
 house, with sprigs of fennel, and the boys, with 
 pond lilies in their hands ; old Caleb Kidder sits 
 in the singers' seat, with his pitch pipe, just 
 where he used to sit; and Madam Moody, at 
 the age of eighty, in her old brocade, occupies 
 the same seat, in the broad aisle, on the right, 
 as you enter, which she occupied full forty 
 years ago. 
 
 It has pleased God to bless me, in my 
 
10 I AM AFRAID 70 
 
 basket and my store ; and I never feel so grate 
 ful, for the bounties of Providence, as when I 
 reflect, that they have enabled me to succor 
 and sustain my honored parents, in their dark 
 days, and to repay them, in some measure, for 
 all their kindness ; which I never fully appre 
 ciated, till I became a parent myself. They 
 still live in the old cottage ; and, after many 
 afflictions, from a quarter, whence they had 
 anticipated nothing but rays of comfort, in 
 their latter days, they present a pattern of 
 Christian resignation to God's holy will. 
 
 My parents, as 1 have stated, were pious 
 people. They were in the practice of morn 
 ing and evening devotion. My father never 
 omitted it, unless he was prevented by sick 
 ness ; and, however pressed for time, he never 
 departed from a slow and reverential manner 
 of performing it. " Whatever business may 
 be delayed, " he used sometimes to say, " the 
 Lord's work should never be hurried." Not 
 withstanding the daily precept arid example of 
 this worthy couple, they were called to a bitter 
 trial. The wall of strength, which they had 
 
77 THERE IS A GOD ! 11 
 
 endeavored to build round about them, the 
 safeguard of religion, which they had raised for 
 the protection of their lambs, was not sufficient 
 for them all : the wolf leapt into the fold, and 
 snatched one from their grasp they were the 
 parents of a DRUNKARD and an INFIDEL ! 
 
 I have often thought, that the simple narra 
 tive of their blasted hopes would furnish ma 
 terials, for an interesting tale. 
 
 Upon a Saturday morning, in the month of 
 June, 18 , a young gentleman, of very genteel 
 appearance, arrived with a fine horse and stylish 
 gig, at the door of Driver's tavern ; and, deliv 
 ering his equipage to the hostler, requested ac 
 commodations, for a day or two, during his stay 
 in the village. It was soon rumored about, 
 that the stranger was no less a personage, than 
 Mr. Bobb, active partner in the firm of Bobb 
 and Binnacle. There could be no reasonable 
 doubt upon the subject, for he had communi 
 cated the information himself, before he had 
 been an hour in the village, to the hostler and 
 the barkeeper; incidentally dropping a hint, 
 now and then, of their extensive operations, 
 
12 I AM AFRAID 78 
 
 and very considerable interest, in various manu 
 facturing establishments. The manufacturing 
 fever was, at this period, approaching that re 
 markable crisis, after which so many subjects 
 were reduced to a condition of weakness, from 
 which they have not entirely recovered, at the 
 present day. The mania had not actually ex 
 tended to our village ; but the proprietors of 
 land, bounding on the river, evidently consider 
 ed their estates of greater importance. The 
 value of water privileges, the law of flowage, 
 and the prodigious profits of manufacturers 
 became topics of frequent conversation at the 
 tayern and the grocery. Squire Gookin open 
 ly and frequently avowed, that he would not 
 sell his meadow lot, above the red bridge, for 
 six times the sum it cost him ; and he has 
 faithfully kept his word, to the present day. 
 
 Mr. Bobb had scarcely refreshed himself 
 and his apparel, after a dusty drive, with a 
 basin of pure water and a clothes brush, before 
 he inquired of General Driver, who was stir 
 ring up toddy for the selectmen, who were in 
 session at the inn, whether there were not 
 
79 THERE IS A GOD ! 13 
 
 some good privileges on the river, that might 
 be bought up, on speculation. The General 
 mentioned Squire Gookin's, and two or three 
 others. He offered the services of his son, to 
 show Mr. Bobb the locations ; and apologized 
 for not being able to go himself; but it was 
 ha} 7 ing time, and the press for toddy was so 
 great, that he could not leave. 
 
 While this conversation was going on, Enoch 
 Smith, who went, I remember, by the name 
 of Skyrocket Enoch, because his stories flew 
 so swiftly, and ended so frequently in smoke ; 
 Enoch, who had listened attentively to the 
 conversation, lost no time in repairing to Squire 
 Gookin's, and assuring him, that a gentleman 
 of great wealth had come from the city, on 
 purpose to buy his water privilege. Shortly 
 after, Mr. Bobb and the General's son were 
 seen going in the direction of the river ; and it 
 was rather amusing to observe the Squire 
 carefully watching their operations, from be 
 hind his corn-barn. 
 
 On Sabbath morning, Mr. Bobb was usher 
 ed into General Driver's pew, by no less a 
 
14 I AM AFRAID 80 
 
 personage than the General himself ; and it 
 was universally agreed, that a prettier man 
 never walked up the broad aisle, than Mr. 
 Bobb. Katy Cummings^who was too much 
 of a wag, ever to get a husband, admitted that 
 he had disturbed her devotions, and that she 
 should have set her cap for him, if he had not 
 appeared to take so much comfort in his whis 
 kers. One young woman obviously attracted 
 the stranger's attention, in an extraordinary de 
 gree ; decidedly the prettiest girl in the parish ; 
 no other than my sister, Be.thiah. In the 
 afternoon, the constant direction of his eyes 
 towards my father's pew became so very par 
 ticular, as to attract the notice, and provoke 
 the smiles of more than one of Mr. Cooley's 
 congregation ; and, in the evening, young Mr. 
 Driver conceived himself authorized, by his 
 intimacy with our family, to introduce Mr. 
 Bobb to our acquaintance. He was evidently 
 desirous of making himself agreeable, and he 
 certainly succeeded. It was apparent to me, 
 from the very first moment of his introduction, 
 that Bethiah was not at all deficient in that 
 
81 THERE IS A GOD ! 15 
 
 mother wit, which enables a young woman to 
 divine, if a gentleman's visit be intended for her 
 self; and 1 was not less assured, in my own mind, 
 that she was pleased, that it should be. His 
 desire to ingratiate himself with every member 
 of our family rendered his manners extremely 
 respectful and modest ; and we heard little of 
 the extensive operations 01 Bobb and Binnacle. 
 He repeated his visit, upon the following day ; 
 and, whatever might have been the measure 
 of his original interest in manufacturing specu 
 lations, it soon became apparent, that he had 
 lost all recollection of Squire Gookin and 
 his water privileges, in a subject of a more 
 absorbing nature. 
 
 His visit in the village was extended beyond 
 the period, which he had assigned for his 
 departure ; and he was finally summoned 
 away, by a letter from Mr. Binnacle, inform 
 ing him of an unexpected pressure in the 
 money market. His attentions to my sister 
 were very particular ; and the manner, in 
 which those attentions were received, left no 
 doubt of the favorable impression, which had 
 
16 I AM AFRAID 82 
 
 been made upon her mind, perhaps upon her 
 heart. The possibility of such a consequence 
 had occurred to both my parents. Bethiah 
 was an excellent girl, but her mind was not 
 altogether free from a romantic bias. My 
 father thought proper to converse with her, 
 upon the danger of indulging any other feel 
 ings, than those of good will, towards an indi 
 vidual, of whom she knew so little, as of this 
 agreeable stranger. " Dear father," said she, 
 bursting into tears, " we are engaged, provided 
 you and mother will give your consent, and I 
 am sure you will not refuse it, when you come 
 to know Mr. Bobb, as well as I do." " Gra 
 cious heaven!" cried her astonished father, 
 " engaged ! know him as well as you do ! my 
 child, you are but seventeen years of age, and 
 you have seen this young man every day, for 
 a week ; what can you know of him ? " 
 " Dear father," replied this infatuated girl, " I 
 know every thing ; he has told me all about 
 his family, and his situation in life. His part 
 ner, Mr. Binnacle, is a retired sea captain, of 
 handsome property. He knows little or noth- 
 
83 THERE IS A GOD ! 17 
 
 ing of the business, in which they are engaged, 
 and leaves every thing to the management of 
 Mr. Bobb." " Leaves every thing to the 
 management of Mr. Bobb ! " exclaimed my 
 father, in a tone almost of derision. " Bethiah, 
 as you respect my paternal authority, and 
 value my happiness and your own, proceed no 
 farther in this rash business, until I have made 
 such inquiries as are dictated by common 
 prudence." 
 
 My poor father conferred with my mother, 
 as a matter of course ; and blamed himself 
 severely, for permitting an attractive young 
 man, of whom he knew so little, to jeopardize 
 the happiness of his child. " Perhaps," said 
 my mother, " he may be all that he represents 
 himself to be." "It may be so," said my 
 father, " but I will suffer the matter no longer 
 to remain in uncertainty. I will go, to-mor 
 row, to the city ; and make all proper inqui 
 ries, on the subject." Without disclosing his 
 intention to any other person, he set forth, at 
 an early hour. 
 
 Mr. Bobb had left behind a zealous advo- 
 
18 I AM AFRAID 84 
 
 cate, in my brother Absalom, who was one 
 year younger than Bethiah. Indeed it would 
 be difficult to say, upon which of the two this 
 young man had produced the more favorable 
 impression. It is sometimes amusing to con 
 template the fantastical grounds, upon which 
 youthful lovers will rest a conviction, that they 
 are destined, by heaven, for each other. Af 
 ter exhausting all other arguments upon her 
 mother, in justification of her conduct, Bethiah 
 admitted, that she had been greatly surprised, 
 and perhaps somewhat influenced in her feel 
 ings, by discovering, that the initials of Bethiah 
 Atherton Jennings, when reversed, were also 
 the initials of Julius Augustus Bobb. 
 
 My father returned, on the following day. 
 He had ascertained, that Bobb and Binnacla 
 were engaged, to some extent, in the manufac 
 turing business. The depths of that ocean of 
 , speculation were, at that time, altogether un 
 fathomable. But my father evidently inclined 
 to the hopeful side of the problem. He had 
 received no information unfavorable to the 
 moral character of Mr. Bobb. He was es* 
 
85 THERE 18 A GOD ! 19 
 
 teemed an amiable man, by his acquaintances, 
 and perfectly honorable in his dealings. His 
 parents had been free livers, and died just 
 about the time, when they had run through a 
 very handsome property. My father was 
 pained to hear, that this young man had prob 
 ably received no serious impressions on the 
 subject of religion, in his youth ; but he was 
 gratified, on the other hand, to learn, that he 
 was a member of the temperance society. 
 
 There are matters of deeper interest, in 
 which it is desirable to engage the reader's 
 attention ; and I will therefore pass over this 
 portion of our family history, in a summary 
 manner. My parents smiled upon the hopes 
 of their daughter. Bethiah, in due time, be 
 came the wife of Mr. Bobb, and went to 
 reside in the city. The dawn of their marri 
 ed life was as bright and clear, as the dawn of 
 an April day. Would to heaven, this were 
 the only point, in which there existed a resem 
 blance between them. They had not been 
 married six months, before a re port was circu 
 lated in the village, that Bobb and Binnacle 
 
 
20 I AM AFRAID 86 
 
 had failed. This report was readily traced to 
 Skyrocket Enoch, who had returned with a 
 wagon from the city. My father went to 
 examine Enoch, upon the subject, who stated, 
 that he had heard of a manufacturing firm, 
 that would fail shortly, but did not hear their 
 names ; he guessed it must be Bobb and Bin 
 nacle ; and as he had been full four and twenty 
 hours a coming up, he reckoned, they must 
 have failed, by the time he arrived. Our 
 apprehensions were excited, on the following 
 day, by a letter from Mr. Bobb, pressing my 
 father to come down, as soon as possible. 
 He complied with this request, and was in 
 formed, that there was not the least cause of 
 alarm ; but the pressure for money was so 
 great, that they were compelled to ask his as 
 sistance. They were in want, at that time, of 
 $7000, and could obtain it of the Bank, with 
 his endorsement. It was rather more than 
 all my father was worth in the world, but the 
 case was urgent. He put his name upon their 
 paper; the $7000 were swallowed up in the 
 whirlpool of their complicated concerns, like $ 
 
87 THERE IS A GOD ! 21 
 
 ship's long boat, in the maelstrom of Norway. 
 In a fortnight, they were bankrupts, stock and 
 fluke ; and my father's little property, the 
 laborious accumulation of many years, went 
 before the torrent, like chaff before the driving 
 storm. 
 
 If, upon such an occasion, there be any con 
 solation, and undoubtedly there is, in universal 
 and respectful sympathy, my poor, old father 
 had an abundant share of that good thing. 
 The creditors were very considerate ; they 
 were commercial men, in whom the spirit of 
 trade had not vanquished the spirit of com 
 passion and humanity. 
 
 My father surrendered all his little property, 
 requesting permission to retain nothing but the 
 tools of his trade, which were secured to him 
 by law, and the old family bible ; but the 
 creditors relinquished their claim upon his 
 furniture, and he gave them possession of his 
 homestead, which was sold with his consent, 
 subject to his right of redemption, under the 
 mortgage. " God's will be done," said he, 
 as he locked up the old house, for the last 
 
22 I AM AFRAID 88 
 
 time, preparatory to the delivery of the key 
 to the new proprietor. 
 
 He was sixty-three years of age, when he 
 commenced life anew. He went with my 
 mother, who bore her misfortunes quite as 
 well as her husband, to board with a neighbor- 
 in"; farmer, a portion of whose barn he speedi 
 ly converted into a temporary work-shop ; 
 and, the next morning, the old sign of " DA 
 VID JENNINGS, HOUSEWRIGHT," long laid by, 
 and which had been familiar to the villagers, 
 for thirty years, was cleared of its dust and 
 cobwebs, and placed over the door. 
 
 "Just what 1 should have expected," said 
 Parson Cooley, when he first heard of it. 
 " David Jennings would sooner take up the 
 implements of honest industry, than add to 
 the burthen of any other man." The next 
 Sabbath he preached an excellent sermon, on 
 resignation under afflictive trials. As he went 
 home, he observed to his wife, " Squire Goo- 
 kin has lost a few sheep of the rot, and his 
 countenance exhibited the deepest distress, 
 during the whole time I was preaching ; while 
 
89 THERE IS A GOD ! 23 
 
 David Jennings and his wife, who have lost all 
 they have in the world, presented the happiest 
 examples I have ever witnessed of cheerful 
 submission to God's holy will." 
 
 Almost immediately after my sister's mar 
 riage, my brother Absalom, agreeably to a pre 
 vious arrangement, went to the city, as an 
 under clerk, in the store of Bobb and Binna 
 cle ; and, at the time of their failure, being a 
 young man of good abilities, he soon found 
 employment in another establishment. 
 
 From my early youth, I had a partiality for 
 a seafaring life ; and I have followed the pro 
 fession, ever since I was sixteen years old. I 
 had doubled that age, at the period of my sis 
 ter's marriage, and arrived from Bombay, just 
 a week before the ceremony took place. In 
 about six weeks afterward, I sailed for Calcut 
 ta, and was absent, during the period of these 
 calamities, and, indeed, for nearly three years, 
 without any direct intelligence from home. 1 
 had heard a rumor of the failure, but nothing 
 of my father's misfortune. 
 
 I arrived at the port of New York, in May, 
 
24 I AM AFRAID 90 
 
 18 , and taking the mail stage, reached Wor 
 cester, the nearest town, upon the route, to the 
 village when; I was horn. I then ohtained a 
 horse and e.haise, and cameto the old homestead 
 a little alter midnight. I rapped at the door, 
 and, after a short interval, the window was 
 opened, and a voice, my father's, as 1 suppos 
 ed, for it was raining hard, and 1 could not 
 perfectly distinguish, inquired who was there. 
 " Don't you know the voice of your own 
 son ?" said I." Friend," replied the person 
 at the window, " the tavern is only a quarter 
 of a mile oil] and, if you are in your right 
 mind, I advise you to find your way to it." 
 The window was immediately put down, hut 
 not till I was satisfied, that the voice \\as not 
 the voice of my father. I have heard break 
 ers over the lee bow, in a darker night; hut 
 never did the blood rush so violently to my 
 head, as at that moment. " My parents 
 are dead then," said I, involuntarily, as I 
 placed my hand upon rny forehead. At 
 that moment, the window was opened again, 
 and I heard a female voice, within the apart- 
 

 01 THERE IS A GOD ! #> 
 
 merit, exclaiming in a tone of earnestness, 
 " I have no doubt it is he;." " What is your 
 name? ? " said the man at the window. The 
 heart of the patriarch was not more full, when 
 he put the cjuestion to his hrelhren, / am 
 Jb&ph) doth my father yd liv<> ( ? than mine, 
 when I put a similar inquiry, in relation to my 
 old fat I Kir arid mother. The occupants were 
 soon in motion ; and, the door was opened hy 
 fanner Weeks, a worthy man, who proceeded 
 to rake open the fire, while his good wife be 
 gan to prepare some refreshments. They 
 persuaded me to remain, till daylight, and gave 
 me a particular account of my father's misfor 
 tunes. 1 learned also from them, that Hobb 
 and ISinnaclc had separated, and that the latter 
 had returned to his old profession. Farmer 
 Weeks observed, that my father and mother 
 bore uj), under the loss of their property, 
 wonderfully well ; but be admitted, that some 
 other troubles, within the last two years, had 
 made a deeper impression upon their minds. 
 I gathered from the hints, which the farmer 
 dropped, with evident reluctance, tbat their 
 
26 I AM AFRAID 92 
 
 tmhappiness was caused chiefly by the miscon 
 duct of my brother Absalom. 
 
 As soon as the day dawned, I proceeded to 
 the house, in which farmer Weeks informed me 
 my parents had continued to reside, since their 
 removal from the cottage. As I drew near, 1 
 observed a person coming from the door, with 
 a broad axe over his shoulder, and a carpen 
 ter's apron : his quick step, for a moment, 
 deceived me ; but a second glance assured me 
 of the truth it was my old father, going forth 
 to his morning's work. He knew me, in an 
 instant, and dropping his tools upon the ground, 
 threw his arms about my neck, and wept like 
 a child. We returned together to the house, 
 My poor mother, who appeared to have suffer 
 ed more, in her bodily health, in consequence 
 of her domestic affliction, was overjoyed at my 
 return. Even the kind people, where my 
 parents resided, appeared to think themselves 
 fairly entitled to rejoice with those, who rejoic 
 ed, to whom they had given the surest evi 
 dence of their sympathy in affliction. 
 
 " Poor Bethiah ? " said I, as soon as we were 
 
93 THERE IS A GOD ! 27 
 
 left to ourselves, " what is her situation, and 
 that of her husband ? " " Bethiah," said my 
 father, "is the mother of three little girls. 
 Her husband, I trust, is becoming a religious 
 man. They are very poor, and have hard 
 work to get along in the world. But Bethiah 
 says there never was a kinder husband. Their 
 troubles seem to have attached them more 
 closely to each other." " And Absalom," 
 said I, " where is he ? " " In the gall of bit 
 terness and the bond of iniquity," replied my 
 poor father, with an expression of the deepest 
 affliction, while my old mother covered her 
 face with her hands. " For Heaven's sake, 
 dear father," said I, " what is the matter, has 
 he committed any crime ? " " Absalom," 
 said he, in a voice, scarcely articulate for grief, 
 " is a DRUNKARD and an INFIDEL ! While he 
 continued with his sister and her husband, he 
 was virtuous and happy. After the failure, he 
 found employment elsewhere ; fell among evil 
 associates, and was ruined. He frequented 
 the theatre, and other scenes of dissipation, 
 and speedily acquired habits of tippling. In 
 
28 I AM AFRAID 94 
 
 a moment of intoxication, he was persuaded to 
 go to a meeting of infidels ; their doctrines 
 were new to him ; and, however monstrous, 
 their very novelty excited an interest in his 
 mind : he went again, and again, and became 
 a convert. He was not in the habit, at this 
 period, of going frequently to his sister's resi 
 dence ; and the mischief was accomplished, 
 before I had any knowledge of his evil conrses. 
 At length, I received a letter from Bethiah and 
 her husband, communicating their fears. I re 
 paired to the city, the next day ; and, arriving 
 in the evening, I inquired for Absalom, at his 
 lodgings ; and was informed, that he might 
 probably be found at the lecture room. I 
 obtained directions, and repaired to the spot 
 without delay. I entered a room, in which 
 was a collection of males and females, of 
 decent appearance, and took my seat, in a re 
 tired corner. 
 
 After a few minutes, I discovered my mis 
 guided son, and endeavored to keep myself 
 concealed from his observation. Presently 
 the lecturer commenced. He was a tall man. 
 
95 THERE IS A GOD ! 29 
 
 with round shoulders, and very gray hair. I 
 should think him over sixty years of age ; his 
 face was florid ; his eyes were contracted, down 
 cast, and expressive of cunning and duplicity. 
 I should not have been willing to trust any man, 
 who had so much the appearance of a knave. 
 But what was my horror, when this gray-head 
 ed castaway threw the volume .of eternal life 
 across the room, and pronounced God's holy 
 word no better than a lie ! What were my 
 emotions, when I beheld this poor miserable 
 wretch, tottering, as it were, upon the brink of 
 the grave, abusing the lamp of reason, by em 
 ploying it to mislead his fellow -creatures to 
 destruction ; prostituting the highest gift of 
 God, to prove, that there is no God ! At 
 length this hoary-headed scoundrel exhausted 
 his stock of sacrilege and folly, and resumed 
 his seat. The meeting broke up ; and, keeping 
 my eye upon my wretched boy, I followed his 
 steps into the street. He turned into a dram 
 shop, in the neighborhood of the pandemonium 
 from which he had so lately descended. I 
 saw him, while my eyes wept tears of anguish, 
 
30 I AM AFRAID 
 
 pour tne accursed poison down his throat. I 
 forbore to interrupt his orgies, in their present 
 stage ; I determined, agonizing as it might be 
 to a father's heart, to observe his progress. 
 In a short time, he sallied forth ; and again I 
 followed his steps. 
 
 After winding through several streets, he 
 associated himself with an abandoned woman, 
 who was strolling purposely alone ; and they 
 repaired, arm in arm, to another dram shop, of 
 a more genteel description. They passed into 
 a recess, provided with curtains for conceal 
 ment. I stood, at a little distance from the 
 door, and in a short time, I saw a servant con 
 veying liquors and refreshments to the recess, 
 and closing the curtains, as he retired. Now, 
 thought I, is my time ; I passed into the 
 shop, and, taking up a light, proceeded to the 
 spot, and drawing back the curtain, held the 
 light before my face. This child of sin was 
 perfectly thunderstruck : at first, he attempted 
 to escape ; but I held him firmly by the arm. 
 His vile companion, and a brazen-faced Jeze 
 bel she was, had already fled. Absalom, said 
 
97 THERE IS A GOD ! 31 
 
 I, as I relinquished my hold, and took my seat 
 before him, do you not believe there is a God ? 
 No was the reply, in a voice of drunken 
 desperation ! Father of mercy, I exclaimed, 
 has it come to this ! and looking, for an instant, 
 at his feverish face and bloodshot eye, and 
 contrasting the object before me, with the 
 treasured recollections of my happy boy, I 
 buried my face in my hands, and sobbed 
 aloud. When I raised my head, he had gone. 
 Inquiries were repeatedly made at his board 
 ing house, but in vain. It was solemnly affirm 
 ed, that he had not returned there. I have 
 never seen him from that hour. But all this 
 comes not from the ground. I am blessed be 
 yond my deserts. Bethiah is happy, in her 
 poverty ; and her husband is becoming a bet 
 ter man for a better world ; your dear mother 
 enjoys a tolerable share of health ; my own 
 health and strength are excellent, and I have 
 enough to do ; and, to crown all, you, my first 
 born, are alive and well, and safely returned to 
 us again. And now, as I see breakfast is near 
 ly ready, let us thank our Heavenly Father for 
 
32 I AM AFRAID 98 
 
 all his blessings, and for the special Providence 
 of your return." 
 
 Farmer Weeks exerted himself to find ac 
 commodations for his family, as soon as possi 
 ble ; I paid off my father's mortgage ; and my 
 parents were speedily restored to the old cot 
 tage. The tools were carefully collected, and 
 re-placed in the carpenter's chest ; and the 
 sign of DAVID JENNINGS, HOUSEWUIGHT, was 
 returned once more to its resting place, in the 
 garret. The affectionate respect of the vil 
 lagers, for my parents, was clearly manifested, in 
 the cheerful congratulations, and hearty shakes 
 by the hand, which met them at every step : 
 and, when my father was in search of a horse 
 cart to carry back his furniture, and the rest of 
 his little property, the neighbors gathered 
 round, and took it, at once, in their hands and 
 upon their shoulders, and the whole removal 
 was accomplished in half an hour. Skyrocket 
 Enoch, who, with all his relish for the marvel 
 lous, was the most amiable mischief maker in 
 *he village, flew, like a shuttlecock, from house 
 to house, breaking looking glasses and crocke- 
 
99 THERE IS A GOD ! 33 
 
 ry ware, in the best natured manner imagin 
 able. 
 
 After my parents had been resettled on the 
 homestead, I visited my sister and her husband 
 in the city. I found her, at lodgings, up three 
 pairs of stairs, in an obscure but respectable 
 part of the metropolis ; and, receiving a direc 
 tion to the first door, on the right hand, on the 
 upper landing, I proceeded to find rny way. 
 On reaching the door, I heard a voice, which 
 I knew, was Bethiah's ; I listened for a mo 
 ment ; she was getting one of her little ones 
 to sleep, with the same lullaby, that our good 
 mother had sung to us all. I tapped at the 
 door ; she opened it herself ; in an instant 
 we were locked in each other's arms. 
 
 She was thin and pale, but I did not per 
 ceive, that she had lost any of her beauty. 
 Her fine light hair, and bright blue eyes, and 
 beautiful teeth, for which she had always been 
 remarkable, still remained, like the prominent 
 points in some interesting landscape ; where 
 the woodcapt hill, and the winding stream, and 
 the natural cascade are beautiful still, though 
 
34 I AM AFRAID 100 
 
 the sun may have departed, and the' moon 
 alone may display them, hy her paler lamp. 
 
 " Brother," said she, " look at these," 
 pointing to her little children, her bright face 
 covered with smiles and tears, like the soft 
 lightning and gentle showers of an August 
 evening, when the elements are playing witch- 
 work with the western sky. Her first born 
 were twins ; they were tottling about the room, 
 and the baby was in the cradle. " They are 
 lovely children," said T, " but where is your 
 husband ? " " He is coming home now," she 
 replied, "I see him from the window." I 
 followed the direction of her finger, I should 
 not have known him. " Three years," said 
 I, " have altered hrs appearance prodigiously." 
 "Oh, yes," she replied, " we often laugh 
 over the recollections of our foolish dreams. 
 We have done \vith castle-building in the air ; 
 and are building, I trust, upon a better founda 
 tion. My husband is one of the best husbands ; 
 he is getting to be one of the best Christians 
 also." I was sufficiently prepared to meet 
 him kindly, when he opened the door. 
 
. 
 
 101 THERE IS A GOD ! 35 
 
 Every thing, which had characterized his 
 person, three years before, as the " active 
 partner, in the firm of Bobb and "Binnacle" 
 had gone by the board, as we sailors say. 
 lie was plainly but neatly dressed; and a 
 patched boot and rusty hat, though I noticed 
 a better one for Sunday, hanging in the corner, 
 indicated an attention to economy. After a 
 kind greeting, we sat down together. Bethiah 
 spread a neat cloth, on a little pine table, and 
 was making preparations for their frugal meal. 
 a Captain Jennings," said her husband, a 
 little of the old leaven of pride mantling upon 
 his cheek, " I am afraid we can give you noth 
 ing better than a roast potato, for dinner." 
 '- Now," said I, " look here, if you give me 
 any other title than Brother David, I'll be off, 
 and I want nothing better than a roast potato, 
 provided you've got any salt." As I said this, 
 I gave him a hearty shake by the hand. The 
 tear came into his eye. " Excuse my weak 
 ness," said he, " but I have seen so much of 
 the cold side of the world, for some years, 
 that I am scarcely prepared for the other." 
 
36 I AM AFRAID 102 
 
 We ate our simple dinner, with an excellent 
 relish. After it was over, "Now,"- said I, 
 " let's have a short talk. I must go back, to 
 night. I understand from Bethiah, that you 
 have settled with your creditors, and are earn 
 ing about three or four hundred dollars a year, 
 as a clerk in a wholesale store. That will not 
 do. Cook, who has kept store in the village, 
 for forty years, has got old, and rich, and 
 wants to sell out ; now I want to make a tem 
 perance store of it ; and, if you can be happy 
 in the country, and are willing to take it, I'll 
 buy the stock and stand for you : I've got old 
 Cook's terms and the refusal in writing." 
 
 Nothing could surpass the satisfaction, ex 
 pressed bv Bethiah and her husband, at this 
 proposal. I returned, and closed the bargain ; 
 and, in less than a fortnight, Mr. Bobb was 
 behind the counter, in full operation ; Bethiah 
 was settled down with our old father and 
 mother, in the spot where she was born ; her 
 twins were creeping over the bank of violets, 
 at the back of the house, where she had crept, 
 when a child ; and her baby was rocking in 
 
103 THERE IS A GOD ! 37 
 
 the cradle, which had been occupied, by four 
 generations. 
 
 The next Sabbath, when we were all col 
 lected together, in the family pew, there was 
 a general expression of satisfaction, on the 
 countenances of our friends and neighbors : 
 and there were tears in many eyes, when 
 Parson Cooley, now threescore and ten years 
 of age, preached a moving discourse from that 
 beautiful passage, in the thirty -seventh psalm, 
 / have been yzung, and now am old; yet 
 have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor 
 his seed begging bread. 
 
 About two years after this happy reunion of 
 our family, our excellent minister received a 
 letter, from a clergyman in the city, com 
 municating information, respecting my misera- 
 ole brother. After a career of infidelity and 
 intemperance, he was, as the writer supposed, 
 upon his death bed, in the last stages of con 
 sumption. The good man, who sent this 
 information to Parson Cooley, had visited the 
 dying young man repeatedly/ and described 
 
38 I AM AFRAID 104 
 
 his mind to be in such a state, that he desired 
 to die, but for the wish to live, that he might 
 atone for his transgressions. As family re 
 semblance will sometimes appear to be lost, in a 
 present generation ; and return, with all its 
 freshness, in that which succeeds ; so those re 
 ligious impressions, which are made upon the 
 youthful heart, by some faithful hand, and of 
 which no trace may be seen, through a series 
 of frivolous years, will sometimes return to 
 sustain the tottering steps of one, who had 
 been lost by the way side ; and may ultimate 
 ly prove the means of salvation, through God's 
 boundless mercy, in a dying hour. 
 
 It was thought prudent to conceal this intel 
 ligence from my parents, for the present : and f 
 agreeably to the wish he had expressed, to 
 see some of the family, before he died, I im 
 mediately set forth upon this melancholy em 
 bassy. 
 
 I reached the wretched hovel, to which I 
 had been directed, as speedily as possible. I 
 did not disclose my name to the miserable 
 
105 THERE IS A GOD ! 39 
 
 object, who came to the door, but simply in 
 quired, if Absalom Jennings was there, and 
 how he was. The old woman, who let me in, 
 answered, that the doctor, whom the clergy 
 man had sent there, thought he could not live 
 long. She added that the leader of the Free 
 thinkers had never visited him, during his sick 
 ness, which had continued several weeks ; but 
 that several of the followers had been there ; 
 and that two of them were then up stairs. 
 I passed up a narrow stairway, and arrived at 
 a little apartment, the door of which was part 
 ly open. I listened, for a moment, to the 
 closing words of a conversation, between these 
 emissaries of Satan, these devils incarnate, 
 upon earth, and my dying brother. " Well, 
 Jennings," said one of them, " out with it, what 
 do you think now, do you believe there is a 
 God ?" I heard nothingbut a deep groan,which 
 went to my heart. "Come," said the other, 
 " speak out, if you believe there is a God, we 
 won't come here again." " Johnson," said my 
 poor brother, in a voice of bitter anguish, and in 
 
40 I AM AFRAID 106 
 
 words, which were uttered, as if they came 
 from the bottom of his soul ; and, I am sure, they 
 went to the bottom of mine, " I am afraid there 
 is a God ! " These demons in human shape 
 rose to leave the apartment. As they passed 
 near me, " Never set your cloven feet again," 
 said I in a whisper, "within the chamber of 
 this dying sinner." " Why what business is 
 it of yours?" said one of them. To avoid 
 confusion in such a place, I followed him 
 quietly down stairs, and taking him by the 
 shoulder, " This wretched young man," said 
 I, " is the son of my father and my mother: 
 enter his apartment again, and, if you do not 
 believe in God, I will give you good reason to 
 believe in man, for I will break every bone in 
 your skin." 
 
 They walked off, in evident alarm ; and I 
 returned to the apartment. I crept softly to 
 the chamber. I saw, upon a miserable pallet, 
 a pale emaciated man, whose eyes were shut, 
 and whose features I studied attentively, for 
 some time, before I could discover enough to 
 
J07 THERE IS A GOD I 4l 
 
 satisfy me, that I beheld the wreck of a ruined 
 brother. Nothing remained of the full fea 
 tures, the smooth forehead, the prominent 
 black eye, or the ruddy complexion. The 
 features, and especially the nose and cheek 
 bones, were sharpened in a remarkable man 
 ner ; the forehead was checkered by the sig 
 net of premature old age ; the face had all the 
 paleness of a corpse ; and the eye, which was 
 still closed, appeared deeply sunken beneath 
 the projecting eyebrows. I approached close 
 ly to the bed. "Absalom," said I; He 
 opened his eyes, and turned upon me those 
 lights, so soon to be extinguished in the grave. 
 "Absalom," I repeated, " do you not know 
 me?" "Oh, David," he exclaimed, "is it 
 you!" and, covering his face with the bed 
 clothes, he became convulsed with sorrow* 
 " My poor brother ! " said I, for my heart 
 yearned towards him, as I sat down beside 
 him, on the pallet of straw, and took his long, 
 lean hand in my own. "Oh David/* said 
 he, " can you love me now ? " and he drew my 
 4* 
 
42 I AM AFRAID 108 
 
 hand to his parched lips, and bathed it in 
 tears. 
 
 I sent for the physician, who positively for 
 bade his beirtg moved, as I had wished, into 
 better lodgings. I therefore made the best 
 arrangement, in my power, for his comfort, 
 and prepared to remain with him, during the 
 night. He appeared to be overwhelmed with 
 a grateful sense of this trifling act of human 
 ity. The strongest wish of his heart, which 
 he frequently repeated, was the desire of see 
 ing his father, and asking his forgiveness. I 
 accordingly despatched a messenger to Parson 
 Cooley, requesting him to open the matter to 
 my father, and come to the city with him, as 
 soon as he conveniently could. 
 
 They arrived before noon, on the following 
 day. The interview was very distressing. 
 My poor old father no sooner entered the 
 room, than this wretched young man, by an 
 unexpected and extraordinary effort, got out 
 of his bed, and, upon his hands and knees, for 
 he could not walk, crawled to his feet and ex 
 claimed, " Father, forgive me, before I die." 
 
109 THERE IS A GOD ! 43 
 
 My father was greatly shocked by his appear 
 ance ; and the exertion undoubtedly shortened 
 the period of my poor brother's existence. 
 
 After taking a little nourishment, he appear 
 ed so much better, that I felt almost inclined 
 to think he might recover : but it was only the 
 flashing and flickering of life's lamp, before it 
 is extinguished forever. 
 
 During this interval he begged his father 
 and Parson Cooley to sit near him. " Do 
 you not trace all your misery to the use of 
 ardent spirit, Absalom ? " said the good minis 
 ter. " No sir," he replied, . " I never drank 
 any, till about eighteen months ago, but I be 
 came extremely fond of wine ; and the first 
 time, that I went to an Infidel meeting, I was 
 intoxicated with wine, which I drank at the 
 bars of the theatre. When I could no longer 
 obtain wine, as the means of intoxication, I re 
 sorted to ardent spirit, because it was cheaper ; 
 and finally the fatal relish for ardent spirit 
 destroyed my taste, in a great measure, for 
 milder stimulants. Intoxication drove me to 
 
44 I AM AFRAID 110 
 
 the brothel ; and the doctrines, taught at the 
 Infidel meetings, justified my conduct in going 
 there. When I became conscious of an op 
 pressive burthen, in the form of crime, I was 
 delighted to be told, and to be convinced, that 
 such things, as I had thought sinful, were 
 perfectly innocent. The leader of the Infi 
 dels tried to produce this conviction on my 
 mind ; I was desirous of being convinced ; 
 and, at length, I mistook the desire to be con 
 vinced for the conviction itself." After a 
 short pause, he continued as follows ; " A man, 
 who has committed theft, would be glad to 
 believe, that there was no judge on earth ; for 
 then he could not be tried here ; and a man, 
 who has committed all sorts of crimes, would 
 be glad to believe, that there is no God in 
 heaven ; for then he could not be tried here^ 
 after, and to him the JUDGMENT never cometh. 
 In my hours of intoxication I was more than 
 ever disposed to justify the doctrines of infideU 
 ity ; and, when listening to lectures upon 
 infidelity, I was the more ready to justify the 
 
Ill THERE IS A GOD ! 45 
 
 practice of intoxication, and of all other crimes. 
 1 believe the leader, who lectures upon infi 
 delity, to be an unprincipled villain, and that 
 he preaches these doctrines, because they are 
 so much more comforting to a hoary headed 
 impenitent wretch, than the doctrines of the 
 cross. May God of his infinite goodness for 
 give me my offences, and an abandoned and 
 profligate old man for leading me to destruc 
 tion." 
 
 The whole of his physical and intellectual 
 power appeared to be exhausted, by this last 
 effort. He dropped his head on one side, and 
 there followed a slight convulsion. I went 
 instantly to his bedside ; his eyes were glazed ; 
 he was fast locked in the arms of death y 
 the spirit of the penitent infidel had fled. 
 
 Our good minister supported my old father 
 from the apartment. By my advice, they 
 returned immediately home. In due time, the 
 earth received its tribute; and I returned to 
 the village. 
 
 It was a remarkable coincidence, that on 
 
46 I AM AFRAID 112 
 
 the very next Sabbath, in reading the scrip 
 tures, Parson Cooley opened to the eighteenth 
 chapter of the second book of Samuel ; and 
 when he pronounced the words of David's 
 lamentation, in the concluding verse, a Oh, my 
 son, Absalom, -my son," the good old clergy 
 man could scarcely speak for his emotion. 
 
 Time, though it cannot obliterate the recol 
 lection of such misery as this, has already 
 mitigated our affliction. My parents are still 
 living, at a good old age. Their chief em 
 ployment is a cheerful preparation for death. 
 My sister and her husband, with their flock of 
 little ones, are prosperous and happy. 
 
 I sometimes encounter an individual, per 
 haps the member of some temperance society, 
 who scrupulously abstains from ardent spirit, 
 under its specific name ; but who is eminently 
 qualified, not only for the commission of folly, 
 but for the perpetration of crime, by the employ 
 ment of some milder stimulant : upon such 
 occasions, the declaration of my unhappy 
 brother, on his death bed, comes forcibly he< 
 
113 THERE IS A GOD ! 47 
 
 fore me ; the use of wine alone brought him 
 to infidelity and ruin ! 
 
 I never meet an individual, who does not 
 believe) that there is a God, but who cannot, 
 by any human possibility, know that there is not, 
 without a vivid and painful recollection of the 
 life and death of this wretched young man. 
 The dying words of a poor penitent Infidel, 
 can never be forgotten, " / am afraid there is 
 a God!" 
 
(U 3 It is not the intention of the writer and publish 
 ers of the Temperance Tales, to press them upon the 
 community any farther nor any faster, than may b 
 agreeable to the public taste. Of this they can pre 
 tend to judge, in no other way, than by the continuing 
 demand. Number One was an experiment. A tract, 
 purely argumentative, logically contrived, correct in 
 its premises, irresistible in its conclusions, is admirably 
 calculated for the righteous : sinners unfortunately 
 will seldom read it. 
 
 The fifteenth edition of Number One, and the 
 fourth edition of Number Two are now before the 
 world. Upon the strength of this practical expression 
 of public sentiment, Number Three is sent abroad, to 
 eek its fortune. If its success shall justify the opin 
 ion, that the public are not weary of the series, Num- 
 oer Four will appear in due time, under the title of 
 4< A SECTARIAN THING." 
 
1 
 I 
 $ 
 1 
 
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 IIS A 
 
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 1 
 
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 Ins 
 
 m 
 
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 til 
 
 Number One ? of this series of TEMPERANCE 
 
 TALES, is entitled, "My MOTHER'S GOLD RING," 
 
 and is sold at 6 cents for the single copy, 50 cents per doz. rp- 
 
 $3 per hundred. jj? 
 
 Number Two is entitled, " WILD DICK AND GOOD \= 
 
 LITTLE ROBIN." Price, 8 cents single, 62 cents per doz., Mm 
 
 $4, per hundred. p 
 
 Number Three is sold at 10 cents single copies, 75 per [JTf 
 
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 Copies of the Three Numbers, regularly paged, are bound IF? 
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