ARY FOX HILLS, CHERTSEY. VERSES 4&1 TRANSLATIONS VERSES AND TRANSLATIONS BY C.S.C. Ck.rJei St^ri . i / EIGHTH EDITION Ctatniin'trge DEIGHTON, BELL, AND CO. LONDON: GEOEGE BELL AND SONS 1884 CAMBRIDGE: PRINTED MY f. PALMEB, CONTENTS. Page VISIONS ... ... ....... 1 GEMINI AND VIRGO ... ... ... ... 6 "THERE STANDS A CITY" ... ... ... 14 STRIKING ... ... ... ... " ... 18 VOICES OF THE NIGHT ... ... ... ... 21 LINES SUGGESTED BY THE 14th OP FEBRUARY ... 24 A, B, C. ... ... ... ... ... 28 TO MRS. GOODCHILD ... ... ... ... 28 ODE 'ON A DISTANT PROSPECT' OF MAKING A FORTUNE ... ... ... ... 33 ISABEL ... ... ... ... ... 37 LINES SUGGESTED BY THE HTH OF FEBRUARY ... 40 "HIC VIR, HIC EST" ... ... ... ... 42 BEER ... ... ... ... ... ... 47 ODE TO TOBACCO ... ... ... ... 55 DOVER TO MUNICH ... ... ... ... 58 CHARADES ... ... ... ... ... 69 PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY ... ... ... 92 TRANSLATIONS : LTCIDAS ... ... ... ... ... 102 IN MEMORIAM ... ... ... ... 124 LADRA MATILDA'S DIRGE ... ... ... 128 "LEAVES HAVE THKIR TIME To FALL" ... ... 152 *LBT Us TURN HITHER-WARD OUR BARK" 136 864 vui CONTENTS. Page CARMEN S^CULARE ... ... ... ... 140 TRANSLATIONS FROM HORACE : To A SHIP ... ... ... ... ... 148 To VIRGIL ... ... ... ... ... 150 To THE FOUNTAIN OF BANDUSIA... ... ... 152 SORACTE ... ... ... ... ... 154 To LETTCONOE ... ... ... ... 156 JUNO'S SPEECH ... ... ... ... 157 To A FAUN ... ... ... ... ... 162 To LYCE ... ... ... ... ... 164 To HIS SLAVK ... ... ... ... 166 TRANSLATIONS : FROM VIRGIL ... ... ... ... 167 FROM THEOCRITUS ... ... ... ... 169 FROM SOPHOCLES ... ... ... ... 171 FROM LUCRETIUS ... ... ... ... 174 FROM HOMER ... ... ... ... 183 "COME LIVE WITH ME" ... ... ... 198 "POOR TREE" ... ... ... ... 202 TRANSLATIONS FROM HYMNS ANCIENT AND MODERN : XLIV. CHRISTMAS ... ... ... ... 204 cxxx. PENTECOST ... ... ... ... 206 cxxxix. ... ... ... ... ... 208 CXCTII. ... ... ... ... ... 210 ccxx. ... ... ... ... ... 212 CCXLII. DEDICATION OP A CHURCH . M M . 213 VISIONS. "She was a phantom," &c. TN lone Glenartney's thickets lies couched the lordly stag, The dreaming terrier's tail forgets its customary wag; And plodding ploughmen's weary steps insensibly grow quicker, As broadening casements light them on toward home, or home-brewed liquor. It is in brief the evening that pure and pleasant time, When stars break into splendour, and poets into rhyme ; 2 VISIONS. When in the glass of Memory the forms of loved ones shine And when, of course, Miss Goodchild's is prominent in mine. Miss Goodchild ! Julia Goodchild ! how graciously you smiled Upon my childish passion once, yourself a fair -haired child : When I was (no doubt) profiting by Dr. Crabb's instruction, And sent those streaky lollipops home for your fairy suction! "She wore" her natural "roses, the night when first we met" Her golden hair was gleaming 'neath the coercive net: "Her brow was like the snawdrift," her step was like Queen Mab's, VISIONS. 3 And gone was instantly the heart of every boy at Crabb's. The parlour-boarder chasseed tow'rds her on graceful limb; The onyx deck'd his bosom but her smiles were not for him : With me she danced till drowsily her eyes " began to blink," And 7 brought raisin wine, and said, "Drink, pretty creature, drink!" And evermore, when winter comes in his garb of snows, And the returning schoolboy is told how fast he grows ; Shall I with that soft hand in mine enact ideal Lancers, And dream I hear demure remarks, and make impassioned answers: 4 riSIONS. I know that never, never may her love for me return At night I muse upon the fact with undisguised concern But ever shall I bless that day: I don't bless, as a rule, The days I spent at "Dr. Crabb's Preparatory School." And yet we too may meet again (Be still, my throbbing heart!) Now rolling years have weaned us from jam and raspberry-tart. One night I saw a vision 'Twas wjien musk-roses bloom, I stood we stood upon a rug, in a sumptuous dining-room : One hand clasped hers one easily reposed upon my hip VISIONS. 5 And "BLESS YE!" burst abruptly from Mr. Good- child's lip: I raised my brimming eye, and saw in hers an answering gleam- My heart beat wildly and I woke, and lo ! it was a dream. GEMINI A1TD YIRGO. OOME vast amount of years ago, Ere all my youth had vanish' d from me, A boy it was my lot to know, Whom his familiar friends called Tommy. I love to gaze upon a child; A young bud bursting into blossom; Artless, as Eve yet unbeguiled, And agile as a young opossum: And such was he. A calm-brow'd lad, Yet mad, at moments, as a hatter: "Why hatters as a race are mad I never knew, nor does it matter. GEMINI AND VIRGO. 1 He was what nurses call a "limb"; One of those small misguided creatures, Who, tho' their intellects are dim, Are one too many for their teachers*. And, if you asked of him to say "What twice 10 was, or 3 times 7, He'd glance (in quite a placid way) From heaven to earth, from earth to heaven; And smile, and look politely round, To catch a casual suggestion; But make no effort to propound Any solution of the question. And so not much esteemed was he Of the authorities : and therefore He fraternized by chance with me, Needing a somebody to care for: GEMINI AND VIRGO. And three fair summers did we twain Live (as they say) and love together; And bore by turns the wholesome cane Till our young skins became as leather: And carved our names on every desk, And tore our clothes, and inked our collars; A.nd looked unique and picturesque, But not, it may be, model scholars. We did much as we chose to do; We'd never heard of Mrs. Grundy; All the theology we knew Was that we mightn't play on Sunday; And all the general truths, that cakes Were to be bought at four a penny, And that excruciating aches Resulted if we ate too many : GEMINI AND VIRGO. And seeing ignorance is bliss, And wisdom consequently folly, The obvious result is this That our two lives were very jolly. At last the separation came. Eeal love, at that time, was the fashion; And by a horrid chance, the same Young thing was, to us both, a passion. Old POSEE snorted like a horse: His feet were large, his hands were pimply, His manner, when excited, coarse: But Miss P. was an angel simply. She was a blushing gushing thing; All more than all my fancy painted; Once when she helped me to a wing Of goose I thought I should have fainted. 10 GEMINI AND VIRGO. The people said that she was blue: But I was green, and loved her dearly. She was approaching thirty-two; And I was then eleven, nearly. I did not love as others do; (None ever did that I've heard tell of;) My passion was a byword through The town she was, of course, the belle of: Oh sweet as to the toilworn man The far-off sound of rippling river; As to cadets in Hindostan The fleeting remnant of their liver To me was ANNA; dear as gold That fills the miser's sunless coffers; As to the spinster, growing old, The thought the dream that she had offers. GEMINI AND VIRGO. 11 I'd sent her little gifts of fruit; I'd written lines to her as Venus; I'd sworn unflinchingly to shoot The man who dared to come between us: And it was you, my Thomas, you, The friend in whom my soul confided, Who dared to gaze on her to do, I may say, much the same as I did. One night, I saw him squeeze her hand; There was no doubt about the matter; I said he must resign, or stand My vengeance and he chose the latter. "We met, we 'planted' blows on blows: "We fought as long as we were able: My rival had a bottle-nose, And both my speaking eyes were sable, 12 GEMINI AND VIHGO. When the school-bell cut short our strife. Miss P. gave both of us a plaister; And in a week became the wife Of Horace Nibbs, the writing-master. I loved her then I'd love her still, Only one must not love Another's: But thou and I, my Tommy, will, "When we again meet, meet as brothers. It may be that in age one seeks Peace only: that the blood is brisker In boys' veins, than in theirs whose cheeks Are partially obscured by whisker; Or that the growing ages steal The memories of past wrongs from us. But this is certain that I feel Most friendly unto thee, oh Thomas! GEMINI AND VIRGO. 13 And whereso'er we meet again, On this or that side the equator, If I've not turned teetotaller then, And have wherewith to pay the waiter, To thee I'll drain the modest cup, Ignite with thee the mild Havannah; And we will waft, while liquoring up, Forgiveness to the heartless ANNA. "There stands a city." INGOLDSBT. TTEAK by year do Beauty's daughters, In the sweetest gloves and shawls, Troop to taste the Chattenham waters, And adorn the Chattenham balls. ' Nulla non donanda lauru, 1 Is that city: you could not, Placing England's map before you, Light on a more favour' d spot. If no clear translucent river "Winds 'neath willow-shaded paths, "Children and adults" may shiver All day in "Chalybeate baths": "THERE STANDS A CITY." 15 And on every side the painter Looks on wooded vale and plain And on fair Mils, faint and fainter Outlined as they near the main. There I met with him, my chosen Eriend the 'long' but not 'stern swell'* Faultless in his hats and hosen, Whom the Johnian lawns know well: Oh my comrade, ever valued! Still I see your festive face; Hear you humming of "the gal you'd Left behind" in massive bass: See you sit with that composure On the eeliest of hacks, That the novice would suppose your Manly limbs encased in wax: * "The kites know well the long stern swell That bids the Komans close." MACA.DLAY. 16 "THERE STANDS A CITY." Or anon, when evening lent her Tranquil light to hill and vale, Urge, towards the table's centre, "With unerring hand, the squall. Ah delectablest of summers! How my heart that "muffled drum" "Which ignores the aid of drummers Beats, as back thy memories come! among the dancers peerless, Fleet of foot, and soft of eye ! Need I say to you that cheerless Must my days be till I die? At my side she mashed the fragrant Strawberry; lashes soft as silk Drooped o'er saddened eyes, when vagrant Gnats sought watery graves in milk : " THERE STANDS A CITY." 17 Then we danced, we walked together; Talked no doubt on trivial topics; Such as Blondin, or the weather, "Which "recalled us to the tropics." But in the deuxtemps peerless, Fleet of foot, and soft of eye ! Once more I repeat, that cheerless Shall my days he till I die. And the lean and hungry raven, As he picks my bones, will start To observe 'M. N.' engraven Keatly on my blighted heart. STRIKING. TT was a railway passenger, And he lept out jauntilie. "Now up and bear, thou stout porter, My two chattels to me. "Bring hither, bring hither my bag so red, And portmanteau so brown: (They lie in the van, for a trusty man He labelled them London town:) "And fetch me eke a cabman bold, That I may be his fare, his fare; And he shall have a good shilling, If by two of the clock he do me bring To the Terminus, Euston Square." STRIKING. 19 "Now, so to thee the saints alway, Good gentlemen, give luck, As never a cab may I find this day, For the cabman wights have struck: And now, I wis, at the Ked Post Inn, Or else at the Dog and Duck, Or at Unicorn Blue, or at Green Griffin, The nut-brown ale and the fine old gin Bight pleasantly they do suck." "Now rede me aright, thou stout porter, % "What were it best that I should do: For woe is me, an' I reach not there Or ever the clock strike two." "I have a son, a lytel son; Fleet is his foot as the wild roebuck's: Give him a shilling, and eke a brown, And he shall carry thy fardels down 20 STRIKING. To Euston, or half over London town, On one of the station trucks." . Then forth in a hurry did they twain fare, The gent, and the son of the stout porter, Who fled like an arrow, nor turned a hair, Through all the mire and mack: "A ticket, a ticket, sir clerk, I pray: For by two of the clock must I needs away." /'That may hardly be," the clerk did say, "For indeed the clocks have struck." VOICES OF THE NIGHT. " The tender Grace of a day that is dead.'* HI HE dew is on the roses, The owl hath spread her wing; And vocal are the noses Of peasant and of Jdng : "Nature" in short " reposes"; But I do no such thing. Pent in my lonesome study Here I must sit and muse; Sit till the morn grows ruddy, Till, rising with the dews, "Jeameses" remove the muddy Spots from their masters' shoes. 22 VOICES OF TEE NIGHT. Yet are sweet faces flinging Their witchery o'er me here: I hear sweet voices singing A song as soft, as clear, As (previously to stinging) A gnat sings round one's ear. Does Grace draw young Apollo's In blue mustachios still? Does Emma tell the swallows How she will pipe and trill, When, some fine day, she follows Those birds to the window-sill? And oh ! has Albert faded From Grace's memory yet? Albert, whose "brow was shaded By locks of glossiest jet," Whom almost any lady'd Have given her eyes to get? VOICES OF THE NIQHT. 23 Does not her conscience smite her For one who hourly pines, Thinking her bright eyes brighter Than any star that shinee I mean of course the writer Of these pathetic lines ? Who knows? As quoth Sir Walter, "Time rolls his ceaseless course: "The Grace of yore" may alter And then, I've one resource: I'll invest in a bran-new halter, And I'll perish without remorse. LINES SUGGESTED BY THE FOURTEENTH OF FEBRUARY. TflRE the morn the East has crimsoned, When the stars are twinkling there, (As they did in Watts' s Hymns, and Made him wonder what they were:) "When the forest-nymphs are beading Fern and flower with silvery dew My infallible proceeding Is to wake, and think of you. When the hunter's ringing bugle Sounds farewell to field and copse, And I sit before my frugal Meal of gravy-soup and chops : When (as Gray remarks) "the moping Owl doth to the moon complain," LINES SUGGESTED BY THE Uth FEBRUARY. 25 And the hour suggests eloping Ply my thoughts to you again. May my dreams be granted never? Must I aye endure affliction Barely realised, if ever, In our wildest works of fiction ? Madly Borneo loved his Juliet; Copperfield began to pine When he hadn't been to school yet But their loves were cold to mine. Give me hope, the least, the dimmest, Ere I drain the poisoned cup: Tell me I may tell the chymist NOT to make that arsenic up ! Else the heart must cease to throb in This my breast; and when, in tones Hushed, men ask, "Who killed Cock Bobin?" They'U be told, "Miss Clara J s." 'A, B, C. A is an Angel of blushing eighteen: B is the Ball where the Angel was seen: C is her Chaperon, who cheated at cards: D is the Deuxtemps, with Frank of the Guards E is her Eye, killing slowly but surely: F is the Fan, whence it peeped so demurely: G is the Glove of superlative kid: H is the Hand which it spitefully hid: I is the Ice which the fair one demanded: J is the Juvenile, that dainty who handed : K is the Kerchief, a rare work of art : L is the Lace which composed the chief part : M is the old Maid who watch' d the chits dance : N is the Nose she turned up at each glance: A, 3, 0. 27 is the Olga (just then in its prime): P is the Partner who wouldn't keep time: Q 's a Quadrille, put instead of the Lancers; E, the Remonstrances made by the dancers: S is the Supper, where all went in pairs : T is the Twaddle they talked on the stairs: IF is the Uncle who " thought we' d be goin* :" V is the Voice which his niece replied 'No' in: "W is the "Waiter, who sat up till eight: X is his Exit, not rigidly straight: Y is a Yawning fit caused by the Ball: Z stands for Zero, or nothing at all. TO MRS. GOODCHILD. rpHE night- wind's shriek is pitiless and holloa The boding bat flits by on sullen wing, And I sit desolate, like that "one swallow" "Who found (with horror) that he'd not brought spring : Lonely he who erst with venturous thumb Drew from its pie-y lair the solitary plum. And to my gaze the phantoms of the Past, The cherished fictions of my boyhood, rise: I see Red Ridinghood observe, aghast, The fixed expression of her grandam's eyes; I hear the fiendish chattering and chuckling Which those misguided fowls raised at the Ugly Duckling. TO MRS. GOODCHILD. 29 The House that Jack built and the Malt that lay Within the House the Bat that ate the Malt The Cat, that in that sanguinary way Punished the poor thing for its venial fault The Worrier-Dog the Cow with crumpled horn And then ah yes! and then the Maiden all forlorn! Mrs. Gurton (may I call thee Gammer?) Thou more than mother to my infant mind! 1 loved thee better than I loved my grammar I used to wonder why the Mice were blind, And who was gardener to Mistress Mary, And what I don't know still was meant by "quite contrary." "Tota contraria," an " Arundo Cami" Has phrased it which is possibly explicit, Ingenious certainly but all the same I Still ask, when coming on the word, ' What IK it?' 30 TO MRS. GOODCHILD. There were more things in Mrs. Gurton's eye, Mayhap, than are dreamed of in our philosophy. No doubt the Editor of 'Notes and Queries' Or ' Things not generally known' could tell The word's real force my only lurking fear is That the great Gammer "didna ken hersel": (I 've precedent, yet feel I owe apology For passing in this way to Scottish phraseology). Also, dear Madam, I must ask your pardon For making this unwarranted digression, Starting (I think) from Mistress Mary's garden : And beg to send, with every expression Of personal esteem, a Book of Khymes, For Master G. to read at miscellaneous times. There is a youth, who keeps a ' crumpled Horn, (Living next me, upon the selfsame story,) And ever, 'twixt the midnight and the morn, TO MRS. GOODCHILD. 31 He solaces his soul with Annie Laurie. The tune is good; the habit p'raps romantic; But tending, if pursued, to drive one's neighbours frantic. And now, at this unprecedented hour, When the young Dawn is " trampling out the stars," I hear that youth with more than usual power And pathos struggling with the first few bars. And I do think the amateur cornopean Should be put down by law but that's perhaps Utopian. Who knows what "things unknown" I might have "bodied Forth," if not checked by that absurd Too-too ? But don't I know that when my friend has plodded 32 TO MRS. GOODCHILD. Through the first verse, the second will ensue ? Considering which, dear Madam, I will merely Send the beforenamed book and am yours most sincerely. ODE 'ON A DISTANT PROSPECT' OF MAKING A FORTUNE. the "rosy morn appearing" Floods with light the dazzled heaven ; And the schoolboy groans on hearing That eternal clock strike seven: Now the waggoner is driving Tow'rds the fields his clattering wain; Now the blue-hottle, reviving, Buzzes down his native pane. But to me the morn is hateful: Wearily I stretch my legs, Dress, and settle to my plateful Of (perhaps inferior) eggs. Yesterday Miss Crump, by message, Mentioned "rent," which "p'raps I'd pay;" B 34 ODE < ON A DISTANT PROSPECT 9 And I have a dismal presage That she'll call, herself, to-day. Once, I breakfasted off rosewood, Smoked through silver-mounted pipes Then how my patrician nose would Turn up at the thought of " swipes!" Ale, occasionally claret, Graced my luncheon then; and now I drink porter in a garret, To he paid for heaven knows how. When the evening shades are deepened, And I doff my hat and gloves, No sweet bird is there to "cheep and Twitter twenty million loves j" ]S"o dark-ringleted canaries Sing to me of "hungry foam;" No imaginary "Marys" Call fictitious "cattle home." OF MAKING A FORTUNE. 35 Araminta, sweetest, fairest! Solace once of every ill! How I wonder if thou bearest Mivins in remembrance still! If that Friday night is banished From a once retentive mind, When the others somehow vanished, And we two were left behind: When in accents low, yet thrilling, I did all my love declare; Mentioned that I 'd not a shilling Hinted that we need not care: And complacently you listened To my somewhat long address, And I thought the tear that glistened In the downdropt eye said Yes. Once, a happy child, I carolled O'er green lawns the whole day through, 36 ODE 1 ON A DISTANT PROSPECT: Not unpleasingly apparelled In a lightish suit of blue : What a change has now passed o'er me ! Now with what dismay I see Every rising morn before me! Goodness gracious patience me! And I'll prowl, a moodier Lara, Thro' the world, as prowls the bat, And habitually wear a Cypress wreath around my hat: And when Death snuffs out the taper Of my Life, (as soon he must), I '11 send up to every paper, " Died, T. Mivins ; of disgust." ISABEL. o'er the landscape crowd the deepening shades, And the shut lily cradles not the bee; The red deer couches in the forest glades, And faint the echoes of the slumberous sea : And ere I rest, one prayer I '11 breathe for thee, The sweet Egeria of my lonely dreams: Lady, forgive, that ever upon me Thoughts of thee linger, as the soft starbeams Linger on Merlin's rock, or dark Sabrina's streams. On gray Pilatus once we loved to stray, And watch far off the glimmering roselight break O'er the dim mountain-peaks, ere yet one ray Pierced the deep bosom of the mist- clad lake. 38 ISABEL. Oh! who felt not new life within him wake, And his pulse quicken, and his spirit burn (Save one we wot of, whom the cold did make Feel "shooting pains in every joint in turn,") When first he saw the sun gild thy green shores, Lucerne ? And years have past, and I have gazed once more On blue lakes glistening amid mountains bluej And all seemed sadder, lovelier than before For all awakened memories of you. Oh! had I had you by my side, in lieu Of that red matron, whom the flies would worry, (Flies in those parts unfortunately do,) Who walked so slowly, talked in such a hurry, And with such wild contempt for stops and Lindiey Murray! Isabel, the brightest, heavenliest theme That ere drew dreamer on to poesy, ISABEL. 39 Since "Peggy's locks" made Burns neglect his team, And Stella's smile lured Johnson from his tea I may not tell thee what thou art to me! But ever dwells the soft voice in my ear, Whispering of what Time is, what Man might be, Would he but "do the duty that lies near," And cut clubs, cards, champagne, balls, billiard- rooms, and beer. LINES SUGGESTED BY THE FOURTEENTH OF FEBRUARY. TiARKNESS succeeds to twilight: Through lattice and through skylight The stars no doubt, if one looked out, Might be observed to shine: And sitting by the embers I elevate my members On a stray chair, and then and there Commence a Yalentine. Yea! by St. Yalentinus, Emma shall not be minus "What all young ladies, -whatever their grade is, Expect to-day no doubt: Emma the fair, the stately Whom I beheld so lately, LINES SUGGESTED SY THE Uth FEBRUARY. 41 Smiling beneath the snow-white wreath Which told that she was "out." Wherefore fly to her, swallow, And mention that I'd " follow," And "pipe and trill/ et cetera, till I died, had I but wings: Say the North's "true and tender," The South an old offender; And hint in fact, with your well-known tact, All kinds of pretty things. Say I grow hourly thinner, Simply abhor my dinner Tho' I do try and absorb some viand Each day, for form's sake merely: And ask her, when all's ended, And I am found extended, With vest blood-spotted and cut carotid, To think on Her's sincerely. "HIC VIE, HIC EST." QFTEN, when o'er tree and turret, Eve a dying radiance flings, By that ancient pile I linger Known familiarly as "King's." And the ghosts of days departed Eise, and in my burning breast All the undergraduate wakens, And my spirit is at rest. What, but a revolting fiction, Seems the actual result Of the Census's enquiries Made upon the 15th ult.? Still my soul is in its boyhood; Nor of year or changes recks. HIC VIR, SIC EST." 43 Though my scalp is almost hairless, And my figure grows convex. Backward moves the kindly dial; And I'm numbered once again With those noblest of their species Called emphatically 'Men': Loaf, as I have loafed aforetime, Through the streets, with tranquil mind, i| And a long-backed fancy-mongrel Trailing casually behind: Past the Senate-house I saunter, Whistling with an easy grace; Past the cabbage-stalks that carpet Still the beefy market-place; Poising evermore the eye-glass In the light sarcastic eye, Lest, by chance, some breezy nursemaid Pass, without a tribute, by. 44 "HIC VIE, HIC EST." Once, an unassuming Freshman, Thro' these wilds I wandered on, Seeing in each house a College, Under every cap a Don: Each perambulating infant Had a magic in its squall, For my eager eye detected Senior Wranglers in them all. 4 By degrees my education Grew, and I became as others; Learned to blunt my moral feelings By the aid of Bacon Brothers; Bought me tiny boots of Mortlock, And colossal prints of Roe; And ignored the proposition That both time and money go. Learned to work the wary dogcart Artfully thro' King's Parade; "HIC VIE, SIC EST" 45 Dress, and steer a boat, and sport with Amaryllis in the shade: Struck, at Brown's, the dashing hazard; Or (more curious sport than that) Dropped, at Callaby's, the terrier Down upon the prisoned rat. I have stood serene on Fenner's Ground, indifferent to blisters, While the Buttress of Ihe period Bowled me his peculiar twisters: Sung 'We won't go home till morning'; Striven to part my backhair straight; Drunk (not lavishly) of Miller's Old dry wines at 78/: "When within my veins the blood ran, And the curls were on my brow, J did, oh ye undergraduates, Much as ye are doing now. 46 HIO VIE, EIC EST." Wherefore bless ye, beloved ones: Now unto mine inn must I, Your 'poor moralist/* betake me, In my 'solitary fly.' "Poor moralist, and what art thou? A solitary fly." GRAT. BEEK. TN" those old days which poets say were golden (Perhaps they laid the gilding on themselves: And, if they did, I'm all the more beholden To those brown dwellers in my dusty shelves, Who talk to me "in language quaint and olden" Of gods and demigods and fauns and elves, Pan with his pipes, and Bacchus with his leopards, And staid young goddesses who flirt with shepherds :) i In those old days, the Nymph called Etiquette (Appalling thought to dwell on) was not born. They had their May, but no Mayfair as yet, No fashions varying as the hues of mom. 48 BEER. Just as they pleased they dressed and drank and ate, Sang hymns to Ceres (their John Barleycorn) And danced unchaperoned, and laughed unchecked, And were no doubt extremely incorrect. Yet do I think their theory was pleasant: And oft, I own, my 'wayward fancy roams' Back to those times, .so different from the present; When no one smoked cigars, nor gave At-homes, Nor smote a billiard-ball, nor winged a pheasant, Nor ' did' her hair by means of long- tailed combs, Nor migrated to Brighton once a year, Nor most astonishing of all drank Beer. No, they did not drink Beer, " which brings me to" (As Gilpin said) "the middle of my song." Not that "the middle" is precisely true, Or else I should not tax your patience long: If I had said 'beginning,' it might do; But I have a dislike to quoting wrong: SEER. 49 I was unlucky sinned against, not sinning When Cowper wrote down ' middle' for beginning.' So to proceed. That abstinence from Malt Has always struck me as extremely curious. The Greek mind must have had some vital fault, That they should stick to liquors so injurious (Wine, water, tempered p'raps with Attic salt) And not at once invent that mild, luxurious, And artful beverage, Beer. How the digestion Got on without it, is a startling question. Had they digestions? and an actual body Such as dyspepsia might make attacks on? Were they abstract ideas (like Tom Noddy And Mr. Briggs) or men, like Jones and Jackson ? Then nectar was that beer, or whisky-toddy? Some say the* Gaelic mixture, / the Saxon : I think a strict adherence to the latter Might make some Scots less pigheaded, and fatter. E 50 BEER. Besides, Bon Gaultier definitely shews That the real beverage for feasting gods on Is a soft compound, grateful to the nose And also to the palate, known as 'Hodgson.' I know a man a tailor's son who rose To be a peer: and this I would lay odds on, (Though in his Memoirs it may not appear,) That that man owed his rise to copious Beer. Beer! Hodgson, Guinness, Allsop, Bass! Kames that should be on every infant's tongue ! Shall days and months and years and centuries pass, And still your merits be unrecked, unsung? Oh! I have gazed into my foaming glass, And wished that lyre could yet again be strung "Which once rang prophet-like through Greece, and taught her Misguided sons that the best drink was water. SEER. 51 How would he now recant that wild opinion, And sing as would that I could sing of you ! I was not bom (alas!) the " Muses' minion," I'm not poetical, not even blue : And he, we know, but strives with waxen pinion, Whoe'er he is that entertains the view Of emulating Pindar, and will be Sponsor at last to some now nameless sea. Oh ! when the green slopes of Arcadia burned "With all the lustre of the dying day, And on Cithseron's brow the reaper turned, (Humming, of course, in his delightful way, How Lycidas was dead, and how concerned The Nymphs were when they saw his lifeless clay; And how rock told to rock the dreadful story That poor young Lycidas was gone to glory:) 52 BEER. What would that lone and labouring soul have given, At that soft moment for a pewter pot! How had the mists that dimmed his eye been riven, And Lycidas and sorrow all forgot! If his own grandmother had died unshriven, In two short seconds he'd have recked it not; Such power hath Beer. The heart which Grief hath canker' d Hath one unfailing remedy the Tankard. Coffee is good, and so no doubt is cocoa; Tea did for Johnson and the Chinamen: When 'Dulce est desipere in loco' Was written, real Falernian winged the pen. When a rapt audience has encored 'Era Poco' Or 'Casta Diva,' I have heard that then The Prima Donna, smiling herself out, Recruits her flagging powers with bottled stout. BEER. 53 But what is coffee, but a noxious berry, Born to keep used-up Londoners awake? "What is Falernian, what is Port or Sherry, But vile concoctions to make dull heads ache? Nay stout itself (though good with oysters, very) Is not a thing your reading man should take. He that would shine, and petrify his tutor, Should drink draught Allsop in its " native pewter." But hark! a sound is stealing on my ear A soft and silvery sound I know it well. Its tinkling tells me that a time is near Precious to me it is the Dinner Bell. blessed Bell! Thou bringest beef and beer, Thou bringest good things more than tongue may tell: Seared is, of course, my heart but unsubdued Is, and shall be, my appetite for food. 54 BEER. I go. Untaught and feeble is my pen: But on one statement I may safely venture: That few of our most highly gifted men Have more appreciation of the trencher. I go. One pound of British beef, and then What Mr. Swiveller called a " modest quencher"; That home-returning, I may 'soothly say,* " Fate cannot touch me : I have dined to-day." ODE TO TOBACCO. rpHOTJ who, when fears attack, Bidst them avaunt, and Black Care, at the horseman's back Perching, unseatest; Sweet when the morn is gray; * Sweet, when they've cleared away Lunch; and at close of day Possibly sweetest: I have a liking old For thee, though manifold Stories, I know, are told, Not to thy credit; 56 ODE TO TOBACCO. How one (or two at most) Drops make a cat a ghost Useless, except to roast Doctors have said it : How they who use fusees All grow by slow degrees Brainless as chimpanzees, Meagre as lizards; Go mad, and beat their wives; Plunge (after shocking lives) Kazors and carving knives Into their gizzards. Confound such knavish tricks! Yet know I five or six Smokers who freely mix Still with their neighbours; Jones (who, I'm glad to say, ODE TO TOBACCO. 57 Asked leave of Mrs. J. ) Daily absorbs a clay After his labours. Cats may have had their goose Cooked by tobacco-juice; Still why deny its use Thoughtfully taken ? We're not as tabbies are: Smith, take a fresh cigar! Jones, the tobacco-jar! Here's to thee, Bacon! DOVER TO MUNICH. TjiAREWELL, farewell! Before our prow Leaps in white foam the noisy channel; A tourist's cap is on my brow, My legs are cased in tourist's flannel: Around me gasp the invalids The quantity to-night is fearful I take a brace or so of weeds, And feel (as yet) extremely cheerful. The night wears on: my thirst I quench With one imperial pint of porter; Then drop upon a casual bench (The bench is short, but I am shorter) LOVER TO MUNICH. 59 Place 'neath my head the havre-sac "Which I have stowed my little all in, And sleep, though moist about the back, Serenely in an old tarpaulin. Bed at Ostend at 5 A.M. Breakfast at 6, and train 6 '30, Tickets to Kb'nigswinter (mem. The seats unutterably dirty). And onward thro' those dreary flats "We move, with scanty space to sit on, Flanked by stout girls with steeple hats, And waists that paralyse a Briton; By many a tidy little town, Where tidy little Fraus sit knitting; (The men's pursuits are, lying down, Smoking perennial pipes, and spitting;) 60 LOVER TO MUNICH. . And doze, and execrate the heat, And wonder how far off Cologne is, And if we shall get aught to eat, Till we get there, save raw polonies: Until at last the "gray old pile" Is seen, is past, and three hours later "We're ordering steaks, and talking vile Mock- German to an Austrian^waiter. Kb'nigswinter, hateful Konigswinter ! Burying-place of all I loved so well! Never did the most extensive printer Print a tale so dark as thou could' st tell! In the sapphire "West the eve yet lingered, Bathed in kindly light those hill-tops cold; Fringed each cloud, and, stooping rosy-fingered, Changed Rhine's waters into molten gold; LOVER TO MUNICH. 61 While still nearer did his light waves splinter Into silvery shafts the streaming light; And I said I loved thee, Konigswinter, For the glory that was thine that night. And we gazed, till slowly disappearing, Like a day-dream, passed the pageant by, And I saw but those lone hills, uprearing Dull dark shapes against a hueless sky. Then I turned, and on those bright hopes pondered "Whereof yon gay fancies were the type ; And my hand mechanically wandered Towards my left-hand pocket for a pipe. Ah! why starts each eyeball from its socket, As, in Hamlet, start the guilty Queen's? There, deep-hid in its accustomed pocket, Lay my sole pipe, smashed to smithereens! 62 DOVER TO MUNICH. On, on the vessel steals; Round go the paddle-wheels, And now the tourist feels As he should; For king-like rolls the Ehine, And the scenery's divine, And the victuals and the wine Bather good. From every crag we pass '11 Rise up some hoar old castle; The hanging fir-groves tassel Every slope; And the vine her lithe arms stretches Over peasants singing catches And you'll make no end of sketches, I should hope. DOVER TO MUNICH. 63 "We've a nun here (called Therese), Two couriers out of place, One Yankee with a face Like a ferret's: And three youths in scarlet caps Drinking chocolate and schnapps A diet which perhaps Has its merits. And day again declines: In shadow sleep the vines, And the last ray thro' the pines Feebly glows, Then sink behind yon ridge; And the usual evening midge Is settling on the bridge Of my nose. 64 DOVER TO MUNICH. And keen's the air and cold, And the sheep are in the fold, And Night walks sable-stoled Thro' the trees; And on the silent river The floating starbeams quiver; And now, the saints deliver TJs from fleas. Avenues of broad white houses, Basking in the noontide glare; Streets, which foot of traveller shrinks from, As on hot plates shrinks the bear; Elsewhere lawns, and vista'd gardens, Statues white, and cool arcades, Where at eve the German warrior Winks upon the German maids; DOVER TO MUNICH. 65 Such is Munich: broad and stately, Rich of hue, and fair of form; But, towards the end of August, Unequivocally warm. There, the long dim galleries threading, May the artist's eye behold Breathing from the "deathless canvass" Records of the years of old: Pallas there, and Jove, and Juno, "Take" once more their "walks abroad," Under Titian's fiery woodlands And the saffron skies of Claude: There the Amazons of Rubens Lift the failing arm to strike, And the pale light falls in masses On the horsemen of Vandyke; 66 DOVER TO MUNICH. And in Berghem's pools reflected Hang the cattle's graceful shapes, And Murillo's soft boy-faces Laugh amid the Seville grapes; And all purest, loveliest fancies That in poets' souls may dwell Started into shape and substance At the touch of Raphael. Lo! her wan arms folded meekly, And the glory of her hair Falling as a robe around her, Kneels the Magdalen in prayer; And the white-robed Virgin -mother Smiles, as centuries back she smiled, Half in gladness, half in wonder, On the calm face of her Child: DOVER TO MUNICH. 67 And that mighty Judgment-vision Tells how man essayed to climb Up the ladder of the ages, Past the frontier-walls of Time; Heard the trumpet-echoes rolling Thro' the phantom -peopled sky, And the still voice bid this mortal Put on immortality. * * * Thence we turned, what time the blackbird Pipes to vespers from his perch, And from out the clattering city Pass'd into the silent church; Mark'd the shower of sunlight breaking Thro' the crimson panes o'erhead, And on pictured wall and window Read the histories of the dead: 68 LOVER TO MUNICH. Till the kneelers round us, rising, Crossed their foreheads and were gone; And o'er aisle and arch and cornice, Layer on layer, the night came on. CHARADES. I. GHE stood at Greenwich, motionless amid The ever-shifting crowd of passengers. I mark'd a big tear quivering on the lid Of her deep-lustrous eye, and knew that hers Were days of bitterness. But, " Oh ! what stirs" I said "such storm within so fair a breast?" Even as I spoke, two apoplectic curs Came feebly up: with one wild cry she prest Each singly to her heart, and faltered, "Heaven be blest!" Yet once again I saw her, from the deck Of a black ship that steamed towards Blackwall. ?0 CHARADES. She walked upon my first. Her stately neck Bent o'er an object shrouded in her shawl: I could not see the tears the glad tears fall, Yet knew they fell. And "Ah," I said, "not puppies, Seen unexpectedly, could lift the pall From hearts who know what tasting misery's cup is As Niobe's, or mine, or blighted William Guppy's." Spake John Grogblossom the coachman to Eliza Spinks the cook: "Mrs. Spinks," says he, "I've founder'd: 'Liza dear, I'm overtook. Druv into a corner reglar, puzzled as a babe unborn ; Speak the word, my blessed 'Liza; speak, and John the coachman's yourn." Then Eliza Spinks made answer, blushing, to the coachman John: CHARADES. 71 "John, I'm born and bred a spinster: I've begun and I'll go on. Endless cares and endless worrits, well I knows it, has a wife: Cooking for a genteel family, John, it 's a goluptious life! "I gets 20 per annum tea and things o' course not reckoned, There 's a cat that eats the butter, takes the coals, and breaks my second: There's soci'ty James the footman; (not that I look after him; But he's aff'ble in his manners, with amazing length of limb;) "Never durst the missis enter here until I've said 'Come in': If I saw the master peeping, I'd catch up the rolling-pin. 72 CHARADES. Christmas-boxes, that's a something; perkisites, that's something too; And I think, take all together, John, I won't be on with you." John the coachman took his hat up, for he thought he'd had enough; Kubb'd an elongated forehead with a meditative cuff; Paused before the stable doorway ; said, when there, in accents mild, "She's a fine young 'oman, cook is; but that's where it is, she's spiled." I have read in some not marvellous tale, (Or if I have not, I 've dreamed) Of one who filled up the convivial cup Till the company round him seemed CHARADES. 73 To be vanished and gone, tho* the lamps upon Their face as aforetime gleamed: And his head sunk down, and a Lethe crept O'er his powerful brain, and the young man slept. Then they laid him with care in his moonlit bed: But first having thoughtfully fetched some tar Adorn'd him with feathers, aware that the weather's Uncertainty brings on at nights catarrh. They staid in his room till the sun was high: But still did the feathered one give no sign Of opening a peeper he might be a sleeper Such as rests on the Northern or Midland line. At last he woke, and with profound Bewilderment he gazed around; Dropped one, then both feet to the ground, But never spake a word: CHARADES. Then to my whole he made his way; Took one long lingering survey; And softly, as he stole away, Eemarked, "By Jove, a bird!" II, |"F you've seen a short man swagger tow'rds the footlights at Shoreditch, Sing out " Heave aho! my hearties," and perpetually hitch Up, by an ingenious movement, trousers innocent of brace, Briskly flourishing a cudgel in his pleased com- panion's face; If he preluded with hornpipes each successive thing he did, From a sun-browned cheek extracting still an os- tentatious quid; And expectorated freely, and occasionally cursed : 76 CHARADES. Then have you beheld, depicted by a master's hand, my first. my countryman ! if ever from thy arm the bolster sped, In thy school-days, with precision at a young com- panion's head; If 'twas thine to lodge the marble in the centre of the ring, Or with well-directed pebble make the sitting hen take wing: Then do thou each fair May morning, when the blue lake is as glass, And the gossamers are twinkling star-like in the beaded grass; When the mountain- bee is sipping fragrance from the bluebell's lip, And the bathing-woman tells you, Now 's your time to take a dip: CHARADES. 77 When along the misty valleys fieldward winds the lowing herd, And the early worm is being dropped on by the early bird; i And Aurora hangs her jewels from the bending rose's cup, And the myriad voice of Nature calls thee to my second up : Hie thee to the breezy common, where the melan- choly goose Stalks, and the astonished donkey finds that he is really loose; There amid green fern and furze-bush shalt thou soon my whole behold, Rising ' bull-eyed and majestic' as Olympus' queen of old: Kneel, at a respectful distance, as they kneeled to her, and try 78 CHARADES. With judicious hand to put a ball into that ball-less eye: Till a stiffness seize thy elbows, and the general public wake Then return, and, clear of conscience, walk into thy well-earned steak. III. yet "knowledge for the million" Came out ''neatly bound in boards"; When like Care upon a pillion Matrons rode behind their lords: Rarely, save to hear the Rector, Forth did younger ladies roam; Making pies, and brewing nectar From the gooseberry- trees at home. They'd not dreamed of Pau or Vevay; Ne'er should into blossom burst At the ball or at the leve"e; Never come, in fact, my first : Nor illumine cards by dozens "With some labyrinthine text, Nor work smoking-caps for cousins Who were pounding at my next. SO CHARADES. Now have skirts, and minds, grown ampler; Now not all they seek to do Is create upon a sampler Beasts which Buffon never knew: But their venturous muslins rustle O'er the cragstone and the snow, Or at home their hiceps muscle Grows by practising the bow. "Worthy they those dames who, fable Says, rode "palfreys" to the war With some giant Thane, whose " sable Destrier caracoled" before; Smiled, as springing from the war-horse As men spring in modern 'cirques' He plunged, ponderous as a four-horse Coach, among the vanished Turks I- In the good times when the jester Asked the monarch how he was, CHAEADES. 81 And the landlady addrest her Guests as 'gossip' or as 'coz'; When the Templar said, "Gramercy," Or, "'Twas shrewdly thrust, i' fegs," To Sir Halbert or Sir Percy As they knocked him off his legs: I And, by way of mild reminders That he needed coin, the Knight Day by day extracted grinders From the howling Israelite : And my whole in merry Sherwood Sent, with preterhuman luck, Missiles not of steel but firwood Thro' the two-mile-distant buck. IV. J^VENIJSTG threw soberer hue Over the blue sky, and the few Poplars that grew just in the view Of the hall of Sir Hugo de Wynkle : "Answer me true," pleaded Sir Hugh, (Striving some hardhearted maiden to woo,) "What shall I do, Lady, for you? Twill be done, ere your eye may twinkle. Shall I borrow the wand of a Moorish enchanter, And bid a decanter contain the Levant, or The brass from the face of a Mormonite ranter? Shall I go for the mule of the Spanish Infantar (That r, for the sake of the line, we must grant her,)- CHARADES. 83 And race with the foul fiend, and beat in a canter, Like that first of equestrians Tarn o' Shanter? I talk not mere banter say not that I can't, or By this my first (a Virginia planter Sold it me to kill rats) I will die instanter." The Lady bended her ivory neck, and Whispered mournfully, "Go for my second," She said, and the red from Sir Hugh's cheek fled, And "Nay," did he say, as he stalked away The fiercest of injured men: "Twice have I humbled my haughty soul, And on bended knee have I pressed my whole But I never will press it again!" pinnacled St. Mary's Lingers the setting sun; Into the streets the blackguards Are skulking one by one: Butcher and Boots and Bargeman Lay pipe and pewter down; And with wild shout come tumbling out To join the Town and Gown. And now the undergraduates Come forth by twos and threes, From the broad tower of Trinity, From the green gate of Caius: The wily bargeman marks them, And swears to do his worst; To turn to impotence their strength, And their beauty to my first. CHARADES. 85 But before Corpus gateway My second first arose, When Barnacles the Freshman "Was pinned upon the nose: Pinned on the nose by Boxer, Who brought a hobnailed herd From Barnwell, where he kept a van, Being indeed a dogsmeat man, Yendor of terriers, blue or tan, And dealer in my third. 'Twere long to tell how Boxer Was ' countered' on the cheek, And knocked into the middle Of the ensuing week : How Barnacles the Freshman Was asked his name and college; And how he did the fatal facts Reluctantly acknowledge. 86 CHARADES. He called upon the Proctor Next day at half-past ten; Men whispered that the Freshman cut A different figure then: That the brass forsook his forehead, The iron fled his soul, As with blanched lip and visage wan Before the stony-hearted Don He kneeled upon my whole. 71 OIKES, housebreaker, of Houndsditch, Habitually swore; But so surpassingly profane He never was before, As on a night in winter, When softly as he stole In the dim light from stair to stair, Noiseless as boys who in her lair Seek to surprise a fat old hare He barked his shinbone, unaware Encountering my whole. As pours the Anio plainward, "When rains have swollen the dykes, So, with such noise, poured down my first Stirred by the shins of Sikes. 88 CHARADES. The Butler Bibulus heard it; And straightway ceased to snore, And sat up, like an egg on end, "While men might count a score: Then spake he to Tigerius, A Buttons bold was he: "Buttons, I think there's thieves about; Just strike a light and tumble out; If you can't find one go without, And see what you may see." But now was all the household, Almost, upon its legs, Each treading carefully about As if they trod on eggs. "With robe far-streaming issued Paterfamilias forth; And close behind him, stout and true And tender as the North, CHARADES. + 89 Came Mrs. P., supporting On her broad arm her fourth. Betsy the nurse, who never From largest beetle ran, And conscious p'raps of pleasing caps The housemaids, formed the van: And Bibulus the butler, His calm brows slightly arched; (No mortal wight had ere that night Seen him with shirt unstarched;) And Bob the shockhaired knifeboy, Wielding two Sheffield blades, And James Plush of the sinewy legs, The love of lady's maids : And charwoman and chaplain Stood mingled in a mass, And " Things," thought he of Houndsditch, "Is come to a pretty pass." 90 CXARADES. Beyond all things a baby Is to the schoolgirl dear; Next to herself the nursemaid loves Her dashing grenadier; Only with life the sailor Parts from the British flag; While one hope lingers, the cracksman's fingers Drop not his hard-earned swag. But, as hares do my second Thro' green Calabria's copses, As females vanish at the sight Of short-horns and of wopses; So, dropping forks and teaspoons, The pride of Houndsditch fled, Dumbfoundered by the hue and cry He'd raised up overhead. * * * CHARADES. 91 They gave him did the judges As much as was his due. And, Saxon, shouldst thou e'er be led To deem this tale untrue; Then any night in winter, When the cold north wind blows, And bairns are told to keep out cold By tallowing the nose: "When round the fire the elders Are gathered in a bunch, And the girls are doing crochet, And the boys are reading Punch: Go thou and look in Leech's book; There haply shalt thou spy A stout man on a staircase stand, "With aspect anything but bland, And rub his right shin with his hand, To witness if I lie. PKOVEBBIAL PHILOSOPHY. A RT thou beautiful, my daughter, as the budding rose of April? Are all thy motions music, and is poetry throned in thine eye? Then hearken unto me; and I will make the bud a fair flower, I will plant it upon the bank of Elegance, and water it with the water of Cologne; And in the season it shall " come out," yea bloom, the pride of the parterre ; Ladies shall marvel at its beauty, and a Lord shall pluck it at the last. PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY, 93 f Study first Propriety: for she is indeed the Pole- star Which shall guide the artless maiden through the mazes of Yanity Fair; Nay, she is the golden chain which holdeth to- gether Society; The lamp by whose light young Psyche shall ap- proach unblamed her Eros. Verily Truth is as Eve, which was ashamed being naked ; Wherefore doth Propriety dress her with the fair foliage of artifice : And when she is drest, behold ! she knoweth not herself again. I walked in the Forest; and above me stood the Yew, 94 PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY. Stood like a slumbering giant, shrouded in im- penetrable shade; Then I pass'd into the citizen's garden, and marked a tree clipt into shape, (The giant's locks had been shorn by the Dalilah- shears of Decorum;) And I said, "Surely nature is goodly; but how much goodlier is Art!" I heard the wild notes of the lark floating far over the blue sky, And my foolish heart went after him, and, lo! I blessed him as he rose; Foolish! for far better is the trained boudoir bulfinch, Which pipeth the semblance of a tune, and me- chanically draweth up water: And the reinless steed of the desert, though his neck be clothed with thunder, PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY. 95 Must yield to him that danceth and ' moveth in the circles' at Astley's. For verily, my daughter, the world is a masque- rade, And God made thee one thing, that thou mightest make thyself another: A maiden's heart is as champagne, ever aspiring and struggling upwards, And it needed that its motions be checked by the silvered cork of Propriety : He that can afford the price, his be the precious treasure, Let him drink deeply of its sweetness, nor grumble if it tasteth of the cork. Choose judiciously thy friends ; for to discard them is undesirable, 96 PROVERBIAL PHILOSOPHY. Yet it is better to drop thy friends, my daughter, than to drop thy