W 4 7f :^^r^ itmmm Williams The Pin Basket -6^1^ i THE LIBRARY OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LOS ANGELES FREDERIC THOMAS BLANCHARD ENDOWMENT FUND ISP!8if8!iRIPBC9SSEi98lE9Sli9Riff5Rff!^^ COUNTESS OF JERSEY =o*o#Mro#o*o*o#o*o#o#o#o#o#o^o#o#. THE PIR BASKET TO THE CHILDREN OF THESPIS. A SATIRE. WITH NOTES. N'unc eadem, labente die, convivia quarit : ■ lliacojque heruni demens audire lahores Expofcit.y pendetque iterum narrantis ab ore. VlRG. /£n. IV. They long again to hear their bard relate In bold fatir'ic yerfe, the Thefpian fate : I tell it o'er aQ3'b'.e'?%but ftill in vain ; For ftill they beg-to hear it once again. The public on their Pajquin's fong depends j And thus the ftory neve^-never ends. "* Dryd. Tran/. [<£n«rfB at ®tattcmei-0'4^«II.] The Author designed to have published the Pin Basket previous to the Opening of Drury-Lane Theatre, but was unavoidably prevented. The De- lay, owing to tht Nature of the Poem, has produced one or tv.o very trifling Errors, which may be easily perceived and rectified as perused. TH£ PIN BASKET. TO THE CHILDREN OF THESPIS. A SATIRE. BY ANTHONY PASOUIN, A. VITH NOTES BIOGRAPHICAL, CRITICAL, AND EXPLANATORY. INVOinNG HU R. H. the Duke of Mrs. Jordan. Mr. Beloe. Clarence. Mrs. Siddons. Mr. Godwin. Magrave of Anspach. Mili Farren. Mr. Chal.mers. Duke of Marlborough. Mifs Leake. Mr. Pinkerton. Duke of Queensberry. Mil's Pope. Mr. , Belsham. Duke of Leeds. Mifs Wallace. Mr. Macklin. The late Lord Barry- Mrs. Serres. Mr. , Brewer. more. Sigiiora Storage. . Pari fon RoiE. Lord Mulgrave. Mrs. Crouch. Par fon ]';ste. Lord Derby. Mrs. Wells. Par: Ion Armstrong. Lord Mountmorres. Mrs. Pope. Mi-. . T. Byrne. Right Hon. V/. Pitt. Mrs. Bland. Mr, . Dalmeyda. Right Hon. H. Dundas. Mrs. Mattocks. . Mr. . M'Donnel. Right Hon. E. Burke. Mr. Sheridan. Mr, . Bourne. Right Hon. C. J. Fox. Mr. Colman. Mr, . Barr. Margravine of Anspach . Mr. Cumberland. Mr, . Maddison. Lady Buckinghamshire . Mr. M. A. Taylor.. Mr . Shaw. Lady Lade. Mr. Richardson. Quick. General Tarleton. Mr. Reynolds. HOLMAN. Sir John Lade. Mr. Boaden. Lewis. Hon. Mr St. John. Mr. O'Keefe. Bensley. Colonel Hanger. Mr. Grubb. Palmer. Dr. Darwin. Mr. Morton. . . DiGNUM. Dr. Rees. Mr. Dudley. Kemele. Dr. AiKiN. Mr. HoARE. Suett. Dr. Thompson. Mr. Holcroft. King. Dr. NORBURY. » Mr. Cobb. Bannister. Dr. Davis. Mr. M. P. Andrews, • Sedgwick. Dr. Towers. Mr. J. Taylor. . Kelly. Dr. Parr. Mr. Harris. Incledon. Dr. Arnold. Mr. Walter. Braham. Dr. WoLcoTT. Mr. Litchfield. Waldron. Mvs. Robinson. Mr. Nares. Black. Davis, &c. &«. &c DEDICATED TO THE COUNTESS OF JERSEY LONDON: printed for the author; and sold by J. S. JORDAN, FLEET-JTREET. 1796. (Prk( Three Shillings.) /' VT'-lnp TO THE COUNTESS OF JERSEY. Madam, Unlike the multitude of Dedicators, I fliall be honcfl: and inge- nuous enough to confefs to your Ladyfliip, and the public, the real fpur that impelled me to make you the object of this Dedication. Men felc(5l not fttire in general as a vehicle of eulogy and flattery, but as an engine whereby they may expofe the vices and follies of mankind. — This fhould be in the recoiled: ion of readers, and the author's merit, fliould be confequently efteemed. My work will fliew that I have been, forthe moft part, particularly obfervant of fingling out charaders deferving drains of a very oppofite burthen to thofe of praife and commendation. The world fliall alfo exculpate me from any intention to make this the means of forcing upon your Ladyflaip a draught, which, though fweet to fome as mountain-thyme to bees, would be to you both naufcous and impertinent. To come then im- mediately and truly to the point — A dedication was wanted to occupy a page, and next, ofcourfe, fome name to complete that dedication. Th Archbilhop of Canterbury firft occurred to me as a very proper fubjec- and I had nearly determined to commit my horde mto hxsfaving bjnJs, when your Ladylhip's name fiaflied on my imagination, as promifing to B 892219 [ 6 ] be more advantageous to my purpofe, therefore, although the poem had even lefs affinity to you, than to the Archbijhop of Canterbury himfelf, I decided in your favour. To your Ladyfhip, then, I dedicate the following flieets ; and whatever obligation or honour you may think conferred on you, I beg you will afcribe it all, not to any veneration I have for your unfpcakable virtues, but more truly to the notoriety your Ladyfhip's name has lately enjoyed ; and which alone, I have no doubt, will procure a fale to many of my b.ijkeis. In which fervent hope lam, (and Jloould it be realized) With due gratitude. Your Ladyfliip's Moft obedient, very humble Servant, Anthony Pasquin. NOTE. "Of&'i/ft/v •nivras av^dveiy bS' avc'^ccv. Theog. NOT even the works of the Omnifcient Power are approved of all men j there are " Who ever find occafion to complain." And is it then for me to murmur, or you my friends to be furprifcd, that fome fhould load me with diffenfious outcries, and c^n^xxxc feelingly expreffed ? Mayhap the gentle reader will think no one could wifli to hurt, or dared calumniate, an author fo abounding in philanthropy and pity asmyfelf. A man fo affedlionately difpofed towards the happinefs of fociety, as to devote a portion of his time to the commendable employment of gently corredling the errors of fome, and boldly lafliing the vices of others, merely with the wifh to augment the felicity of the whole. Yet fuch beings exift, and in the very perfons of thofe who fhould, with all their power, protedl the minds of the public from contamination, by difcountenancing all works that have fuch a tendency ; as well as fliield from infult, and, by their /^^Z, endeavour to propagate the circulation of thofe, that . are calculated, as in the prefent injiancc, to corredl and mend the age. But felf-intereft and private connedion will, I forefee, rife paramount to candour and truth. — h «J«v iXy.oiJ.oi.1 v^ri. ThEOCRIT. Already I feel myfelf within their predetermined grafp. Nay, fpare me not . moft upright judges ! Wait not for thofe cogent reafons that ever win your love, biit which I fhall never deign to impart. Fall on at once ; — and let the world fee how an author fares when he fpeaks of you, or of your friends, according to your . deferts ; and how lenient and how juft you are when neither praifed nor bribed. C viii ] CAUSES WHY NO FAVOUR IS EXPECTED FROM THE REVIEWERS THERMOMETER. Scale,— /row i to 20. Critical Review. Democratical. British Critic. Arijiocratical, Monthly Revisw. Jmphlbious. Analytical Review Levellers. English Review. { Mr. Godwin... Mr. Holcroft... Mr. Chalmers. Self'intereft 16 ConnecivM* i^atural fiurnefs ; dlfco* vered when tlie writer is not known pcrfonaU ly,and prelumes to de- pend on the merit of his k: pend his work a'one for rateful founds from a eviewer's trumpet. rMr. Mr. Mr. Nares Beloe <( Dr. Parr Dr. Davis Dr. Norbury rDr. Th LMr. Pir ■ Dr. Thompfon , inkcrtoii., 19 Dr. Darwin., Dr. Rees...... Mr. Belfliam. Dr. Towers.. Dr. Aikin 12 17 19 12 10 14 16 12 18 18 . '/ t8 16 H 10 ' 16 20 20 10 12 20 17 J7 10 12 12 18 14 16 Obfolctc. Something like the above fliould always introduce a fatirical produdion :* It not only prcfci-vcs the judgment of men in general from being miflcd by the partial opi- nions of thcfe/o«j of Arijlarcbus, but it precludes the necefilty of having rccourfe to their uritings, as fuch a thermometer flicws cxadly how the pulfe of the Reviewer beats at the moment he is about to make his obfcrvations, and thence, naturally, what may be cxpcdcd from fuch a difpofition. • // is rfiommeidal lo the reader to ferufe lit •wkck of thit focm with or 'xvilhoyi reft rrhg to tie ndtej, a> lie de«m» it expcilUni, nml fimls it aprtcable to liimiclt. A ctitain dMUr i>, Htlnon, whom, in a futuic puhUcatlon, I fliall, fifarlifg of hisihrtMts, ntm<: /nulla cum lihertalt, has tliottght itpropcito enjoin a primal^ fmiijli' re:ul!n<; of the po.in.t Hit inlamilc iiijuiiaioiirLioiiidsnif ofalaUauthor, who lately pi Ir.ttd Jbi^c odts in tlit- llyle o/piodar, n Jbl was plcalcd to call t'.irni, t.y liibrciiption ; 10 which (he pittixtd a mw, <• Rdpcariilly no.i.fai"^ rho I'ubliribm wmiLl pfi-init her to wait on them, b-li.iu they pafled their judgment on the work, as the conftmaion of the vt;ii V.M iiith, that nobody toiiM pollibly decide on its nierit, imlel's ihey had liiard her wad it," ■\ He al.o talk* of originality. See Hor. ad Auy. E p. . . lib. i. for hl.s ww idw; fte Sat. i . lib. i. lor his mvd mode of conveying fatiitj fee Pope's Dune, ami hi. imll. of Hor. for bothj nnd the.ulc the ?«././// <=/7.,.««/«r/, for arigintU—iUMattt, THE PIN BASKET. xjLGAINj my Mufe, I wake the trembling lyre, Again thy aid invoke, thy quick'ning fire ! Give me with force to ftrike my fav'rite ftring— Grant that not wholly uninfpir'd 1 fmg ! Forward the labours of thy Poet's brain ; Once more be Prompter to his Thejpian Jlram : So fhall thy altar of the plunder fhare. And oft ?L fatted calf be offer'd there.* Fear not my vow ! I'll folve it o'er and o'er— No Smithfield drover has a richer ftore. Proceed! Come, join my ftandard, truft my word^ And let's together dafh amid the herd, * Left the Mufe, or any body elfe, (hould be furprifed at fuCh a promife from a poet, you are entreated to confider, that he intends performing it out of/^ idea/, and not out of his Jiibfiantial property. This explanation will alfo ferve to, calm the apprehenlions of his fock and bufkin friends — airy nothings ! C No o'er-fed bard, no venal fongfter I ; 1 Let Peter penfion'd* fmg, and meet the eye, > As fat+ as any pig, in any {l)'e ; J To me fuch looks belie the vot'ry of the Mufe, Who breathes Parnaffian air, and quaffs th' Olympian dews. And would proclaim to all (a femblance fit) More of the Cutting Butcher than the wit. Farewel to fong, when poets touch the pelf, Adieu to Peter then, now batt'ning on the fhelf4 •+ * Whether Peter Pindar was ever penfioned, or whether he received that penfion for more than one or two years, or whether he receives it ftill, is no bufi- nefs of ours. But certain it is, we incline to think that Peter does enjoy his fop ; not only from his condition, but from the wifdom with which adminiflration have always been obfcrved to deal out their rewards. Burke fhall be muzzled with a penfion when he has not a tooth h ft, and Peter bribed to hold his peace when he has not a word more to fay. It would appear from this, that minifters reward Icfs for the good of their country (as they do it when all the mifchicf's done) than from a convicftion, in their own minds, that thofe whom they reward are as great rogues as thcmfclves, and as much entitled to partake of the prey. t 'Tis as diftrcfTing to fee a poet run to belly, " latamqtte trahens inglorius olvum," as to hear " A little, round, fat, grcafy man of God," like Dr. Towers, preaching temperance, prayer, and fading, from the pulpit. X Treafury fliclf. [ IJ ] Not fo with me, or I were perhaps as dull* — Lord knows the time when I'd a belly full! No! thin and fleek— in rare fine rmming order My honeft Mufe has kept me — Heaven reward her! The doftor's gouty leg (I ride a feather) Would weigh my Pegafus and me together. But now I pant impatient for the round. And now I feem to touch the diftant ground; * Wc do not think our author is here paying himfelf any great compliment. The following anecdote of Peter will Ihew how much miftaken the world has been in his ability. At a time when he was not fo completely "Epicuri degregeporcus," the great Pindar, the mighty bard, condefcended, in great humility, to accept an engagement at two or three pounds a week, to write paragraphs for a certain newfpaper. For which purpofe, he would go to the office, where he has often fat for hours together, and at lafl: brought forth one or two fpare paragraphs, and often been unable to produce any. He was foon difmifled, as an unprofitable fubjed. From his late poetical attempts, we know nothing which he can be better compared to than to a ftreet organ, which, having got through its dozen tunes, can only repeat the fame flrains. Wc cannot here refrain from fubjoining a note of his, which now, as it happens, applies to no one better than to himfelf. " Un- fortunately for poor John," his name is John Wolcott, "every book that he has publifhed lately has been poffeired of fo much of the vis inertia, as not to be able (if I may ufe the bookfellers' phrafe) to move off." We have feen, in particular, two or three of his recent publications ready to be moved off", at feveral flails (if any body would take the trouble to move them) much under (not their value) but the original price. C 13 J All obftacles appear already croft, Yet ere I ftart, near thirty lines are loft.* Suppofe me then, good folks, with fancy heated,. Upon my tripod in the attic feated; Pen, ink, and paper, all before me laid. The fimple tools of my immortal trade ; With chin upon my thumb and finger lolling, And eye already fixt, prepar'd for rolling When at my door, a tap ! alarmed I hear. And all my well-plann'd thoughts diffolve to air : A bailiff fure ! I knew his tap, methought, Then foftly creeping on, and. breathing fhort, (As much in fear, juft then, of fuch deteftion As I have feen St. Stephen's at ele6lion+) * Thcfe verfes are partly the tranflation of Pope. Statius cannot be faid to be fo happy in his application as our poet. " Stare loco nefcit, pereunt veffigia mille " Ante fugam, abfentcmque ferit gravis ungula campum." t The gentlemen q{ ihdX Jacred houfe (as Mr. Burke calls it) are not a little alarmed at this event; although they are welt aflured of being returned for one C ^3 ] I peep'd, but faw I had no caufe to tremble, So ope'd my portal wide, and In ftulk'd Kemble. Thinking I could not now be aught but civil, (Though I would full as foon liave feen the devil) I begg'd he'd fit — as foon 'twas done as faid— He on the ftool, and I upon the bed.* Then thus began the man of tragic gaze, With Jefuitic+ grin, and meafur'd phrafe. houfe or the other: v. gr. If they are rcjeded by their conftituents, their creditors are always ready to return them for the Bench. * Pafquin is not the firft great man who has (for the beftof all reafons) re- ceived company fitting on. his bed. Theodore, King of Corfica, when in the Bench for debt, adlually held his levees there regularly, and received his courtiers fitting on a femi-tent bed, the head of which forming a canopy, added to the dignity of his fituation. We think that poor Theodore was a type of what we might exped: to fee in the prefent Mariborough family, were they reduced to a flate of equal indigence. They would flill retain all their vain oftentation, and affected con- fequence. O the empty pride and vanity of man ! " De tous les animaux qui s' etevent dans 1' air, " Qui marchent fur la terre ; ou nagent dans la mer, " De Paris au Perou, du Japon jufqu a Rome, " Le plus fot animal, a mon avis, c'eft; 1' homme. t Mr. Kemble was brought up at St. Omer's, a town in French Flanders, and D [ 14 3 Kemble. " So, fo, the Green-Room's in a pretty rout, " And long to know what 'tis that you're about. '•' Tell me, my Pasquin, as a friend I alk it, " Who is't you mean to cram into your Basket? intended to have been made a prieft in that famous religious order in the Romifli church called Jefuits. For reafons, unknown to us, this idea was fuperfeded ; though, from the condud:, temper of mind, and confonant affed:ions, he has, and ftill continues to exhibit, we have no doubt that he is well verfed in the Secreta Manila Societatis Jefti, has taken them to heart, and would have done great honour to the fed. Among other precepts which, this virtuous order inculcates, we find the following. " The fociety may traffic, and borrow, and lend money, but never without a projpelt of certain and abundant gain. " In whatever'places the members refide, they mufl provide a phyfican, who is firm to the interefl: of the fociety, by whom they may be recommended and called in to the fick, ejpe daily Juch as are paji hopes of recovery. " Women who complain of their hufbands, mull be inftrudled fccretly to withdraw, a fum of money, that by making an offering thereof to God, they may ex- piate the crimes of their finful helpmates. " They arc to -worm themfches, by the interefl: of others, into honourable cmbaffies, which may give them an opportui^ity oi recommending themfelves and their fociety. L '5 J " Not me, I hope. Confider! Heaven preferve you ! ** Would to my heart my friend, that I could ferve you."* Pasquin. " Away with all fuch hypocritic fluff ! " I will not take a felfilh bribe, to puff " The undeferving through the lift'ning town, " Above the man whom worth and merit own. " Go, go, to BoADEM, or to Taylor+ hie, " Tliofe bards of all work will, as wont, comply ; * This is perfedly in charader : full of fcrvility where he fears ; arrogant and overbearing where he's in' power. tjohn Taylor, or Jack Taylor, a relation of J. P. Kemble, formerly did the dirty work, in the puffing way, in the True Briton, for the wholebody of his kindred. Befides this, he is a dentift ; and then he writes, or rather cobbles, pro- logues for any body that will accept of them. It has been faid, that he even offered money to an oppolite neighbour, to let him write one to a piece of his. In fine, he is a complete kird of all zvork, not very diflimilar to Hoare's Dicky Goffip; for, in the firft place, as a newfpaper-man, he fits in the office and culs out matter from other papers to fill up his maflers; then, as a dentift, he draws out; next, as an eternal gabbler, he generally routs out all the companies he gets into ; and laftly, as a filly trifling fellow, he will be laid out to the great comfort of fociety- [ i6 3 " Or to the Times, where thy right worthy friend, " Does with his darhng unUck'd cub contend, " And faith 'twould puzzle Wifdom's felf to tell " The greateft fool, they a6l their parts fo well.* " Off to thofe honeft prints, that virtuous hoft, " Who ever praife him beft, who pays them moft.i * It is certain there never was fuch a jolter-headed family as this. The old man has doubtlefs fcraped together fome pelf, and fo might any man that would ftoop to the fame means. Let a recent anecdote of him fliew how excellently he combines the fool and thus it is. A libel having appeared in his paper againft a foreigner, he was profecuted, and perceiving he muft be caft, made overtures to the gentleman, who, with proper inditrnation, refufed them, declaring, he would have ftrift juftice, and nothing lefs, for the defamation he had experienced. Old W. with that tender folicitude which every parent Ihould feel for the property he intends for his children, went imme- diately to Mr. Dundas, who, at the rcquefl of the proprietor of a paper in the pay of Mr. Pitt, inftantly ordered the injured foreigner, at the moment of retribution, to quit the kingdom. Young Hopeful pretends to be a writer, and keeps up his credit, with their /)r/;//fy and the devils (his, and his papa's bcfi: friends) by getting fome of his. acquaintance, who amufe themfelvcs with writing fcraps of poetry, &c. to fend them tohim, which he then copies, and gives up for his own. That fuch a father fliould doat on fuch a fon can be no wonder. " Afinus afino, et fus fui pulchcr." I Ncwfpapermen will generally be found as void of principle and difrcputable, proud and ignorant, as any people on the face of the earth. Reporters of fpccchcs C 17 ] " Still let us hear you tones fepulchral bray, " And then be told ' How wonderful you play ;'* " Deceive the world, out- lie all contradi6lion, " And fwear yourfelf aplay'r 'gainft convidion." " Be calm, my friend !" Pasquin. " Bejuft, 'tis true, you know it!" Kemble. " That you're the beft of men, and fweeteft poet. made in the Houfe of Commons, in particular, are a mechanical, felf-opiniated, baftard brood of dunghills, who can only crow when thofe luminaries rife ; never at the call of geniu« ; but at the gnawings of an empty belly : who have not a thought of their own which is not as low, groveling and obnoxious as the contemp- tible thing they are for ever thinking about. * This is continually the cafe. You fhall go to the play and fee (if you can keep your eyes open) not only Kemble, but others, who can pay for it, flcep through their parts ; and the next morning, the firft thing you read fl^all be " How amaz- ingly great fuch an one was in fuch a part, &c." To prove more clearly how premeditated a bufincfs it is, we have feveral times read a pompous account of fome actor's or adlrefs's performance, for whom we have heard an apology made the evening before, as being incapable of playing from indifpofition. The fadl is, the fellow, whoever he is, inftead of going to the play-hou/e, writes the ftipulated E [ I» ] " I've brib'd, I own, but merely 'twas, forfooth, " To keep thofe lying prints from telling truth, lines previous to the commencement of the play, and then betakes himfelf to the Mle-hou/e, to fpend the profits along with his comrades ; A crew that FalftafF 's f/if would bluflx to own . The critics of the modern ftage are thi.s diftinguiflied. Par/on Rofe, in the Times, for puerile puns, no wit, and as much judgment. Par/on EJle, in the Telegraph, for a clofe imitation of the ftyle of Van Butchell. Par/on Annf.rong, in the Chronicle, for dull prolixity, or Caledonian humour. (He calls his eftbrts criticifim, but theparfon lies — under an error; they are literally illiterate y^r;«o?«.) Lord Mountmorres alfo fometimes illu- mines the Chronicle with a critique. Jack Taylor, in the True Briton, (and every wh«re elfe) for inanity. Thady Byrne, in the Herald, for Irijh originality. We have feen, on feveral occafions, fome very pointed and judicious remarks in this paper from the pen of M'Donnel — we wifh we were indulged with them mdre re- peatedly. 8ofidt.n, in the oracle, for great big words, which he often mifappropriates, and an unintelligible aflcdation of profundity. Djlmeyda, in the Gazetteer, for vefy neat language, and obfervations fraught with much critical difcernmcnt. PoUio, or Litchfield, in the Morning Poft, for the old ideas of his contemporaries newly varnif^icd, tedious dilatation, and blunt abufe of thofe who will not condefcend to court his favour. Bourne, in the Obfcrvcr, for ftridurcs only worthy of the writer. il [ 19 ] " What could I do? altho' To miicli vou flout it, " There's not a manager could live without it. " What think you otherwife could e'er induce "' That lump of ignorance, Harris, to produce Bate Dudley's* ribaldry, or Hurlstone's+ trafh, " But that it ferv'd for bribe, and fav'd his cafli. Barr, in Ayres* Sunday, for fome marks of judgment and wit devoid of polifli. Arnold, Jiin. late Editor of the Tomahawk, in Bell's Weekly, for a favage deter- mination to write in fpite of common fenfe, and want of readers. * Bate Dudley hclng the editor of the Morning Herald, was enabled, through an indifcriminate commendation of whatever appeared at Covent Garden, to prevail on the manager to bring forward two or three of his compofitions, which were perhaps the moft infipid, uninterefting nonfenfe that ever difgraced a ftage. He has the prefumption to fancy he can imitate the writings of Shakfpeare. Even in like manner had that mighty critic, Mr. Boaden ; who could accept Ireland's abjiird jargon, for the winged words (as Homer has it) of our deathlefs hard. Each thinks himfelf a phcenix — fo they are — fuch as we fee over the door of the Herald office — phoenixes without heads. t Mr. Hurljlone, the book-keeper at the office of this paper, is a good natured fellow, but who, beyond his occupation, does not know his right hand from his left. Yet, " like mafter, like man," he alfo mull be writing plays, and in truth were it any praifc to him) has written them as well. iC C ^o ] '*' Or Bo AD en's tragic Mufe create a laugh, •' Unlefs he paid his way in paragraph.* Or Walters fill whole boxes at the play — •' Lord help your foul, you do not think they pay 1 " But now my managerial part is done, '' And ftrange ! I don't regret my fceptre gone I '* They had my fervices, diud Jijlei-'s too, While yet the treafury could boaft afous; C( • Had Mr. Boaden continued, what he originally was, a banker's clerk, we fhould like to know what kind oi acceptation hh feporific pills "would have received from Harris? But allowing him his due, we muft fay that, although as dull a matter-of-fad genius as ever flood behind a counter, he has managed, by fome means, to infufe into his tragedies a cexx^m portion of humour, paftall poffibi- lity of feeing without a fmilc. We defy any man to fit out the " Secret Tribunal"' without laughing ; efpecially at \h& grand catajlrophe, where the inquifitors aflem- blcd, form as fine a picture of a watch-houfe at five in the morning, as ever was feen. Mr. B. however, had little to plume himfelf on his interefl: with the manager in this inftance, fince he had feventy pounds to pay for empty benches, or rather for his empty noddle. When Mr. Harris announced this deficiency to him, he is faid to havcaffumed the very air of the oraculoHs priejlcfs, at the Oracle ofiicc, which fo alarmed Harris that he inflantly forgave him t\\c^ dfHoX. \\\% melancholy Mufe \\'&.d. contracT;ed. The provifo that attended this rcmiflion we have not heard. Mr. B. we are forry to un- \ } C 21 3 " And tragedy, whate'er the public fancies, *' Much bejt became the company's Jtnances.'^ " Can Harris+ then, or Colman e'er afpire, " To half my talents, genius, wit, and fire ? . derjland, has taken to write comedy, and hasaclually written one called The Bcsotiaa Wit.. If he continues in this mind,- " Farewel mirth and jollity, , " Smiles no more we've need of thee." * Some people fay that Mr. Kemble abounds in wit, when he pleafes to in- dulge himfelf. This feems to be a lucky moment. Still we may fay of him with Hudibras, when we recolledt his variousyacri?/}//^/ alterations of playsj and that ori- ginal ypar/^, that ^/flZif of genius, the luminous Lodoifka. . " We grant he has wit, " But's very fhie of ufing it, " As being loath to wear it out ; "And therefore bears it not about, " Unlefs on holidays, or fo, ■ "As men their bert apparel do." t If Harris has not fo much genius as Kemble, which is" very doubtful, he certainly may conteft the palngiwith him for mean artifice and deceit. Deceit feems in a manner fated to people in their fituation. We fhall give an example of it 'in Harris. Jult at the time Mr. Hoare, at his particular requefl, gave him the Lock and Key, and it was brought out, Mrs. Serres, who had a part in it, had written to Harris at Uxbridge about an engagement ; he anfvvering her letter, and one from Lewisby the fame poft, in hafte, dire6led them reverfely. Mrs. Serres received, as Ihe expcded, a letter addreffed to her, which ran to the following efFecfl. F C 22 ] «•' Have not I afted, writ, and alter'd* plays, " Been clapp'd ! been damn'd ! — nozvjiian't J have your praife ?" Pasquin. " Thus thou, by here recounthig others aillngs, " Would'il toil to weave a cloak to hide thy failings. " Dear Lewis, " I am very much amazed to hear from you that Hoare's farce met \vith a cool reception — I thought it was a better piece. Damn that Mrs. Serres, I willi fhe had never come into the houfe ; {he's an eternal plague to me. We muft get rid of her fomehow or another. " Yours, &:c. " T. Harris." The feelings of Mrs, S. may eafilybe conceived ; but flie had fcarcely recovered herfelfwhen Lewis came on the ftage, where (lie was, grinning and whimpering in his ufual way, " Here is your letter, madam ! Spofe you've one intended for me. Droll niiftake egad !" She then read, " Dear Madam, " I am a little bufy at prefent, but fliall be in town in a day or two, when you fliall have every thing fettled to your willi. " Yours, &c. " T. Harris." ♦ Mr. K. lately altered one of Mr. Wycherly's plays, in which he modcftly filled the plain dealer himfelf, for the firfl: time of his adling that part in our remem- brance. He was fcen but twice in this chai-adcr. (I L 33 ] Be Harris ignorant, as you declare, " And obftinate as any Ruffian bear;* " What tho' a monkey, as the flory goes, " Alone has power to lead him by the nofe :+ " No mighty difagreement I divine, V' Except he always keeps the ftupid line, " And thou art fomewhat more a fool in wine.t J " Yet mention not, with impious tongue, thy name ^ 1 " With his, which Time Ihall glory to proclaim, ^ " And koneft critics confecrate to fame ! J * Obftinacy and ignorance are infeparable, and few people ever carried thefc amiable qualities to a higher degree of perfedion than the manager of Covent Garden theatre. t One fool is known to have greater power over another than all the logic in the world. Lewis is faid to be able to do with him whatever he lifts, and really he deferves no little credit for it, if, as fome one obferves, " To keep a fool con- ftantly in good humour withhimfclf, and with others, is no eafy tafk." J This is a very excellent diftindlion. Mr. K. when he is fober, will fit for hours without faying a word : but no fooner has he drank a quantity, and he will drink immoderately, than he'll ftart from his feat, and fwear he'll be a mem- ber of Parliament ; then hncy himi'df in /he hou/e, and begin to declaim, run on a parcel of unintelligible nonfenfe, and at length fit down as contented with him- felf, and perhaps with as much title, as General Tarleton, or Chicken Taylor. — *' Quid non ebrietas defignat," fays Horace. [ 24 1 '•' BoADEN* may fneer, and tedious PoLLiof fcribble, " With foul detraftion thro' dull columns dribble ; * Mr. Boaden's pitiful eninity to Mr. Colman, does not arife only from the" envious eyes with which he views Mr. C's fuperior abilities, but alfo from his having given a proof of his difcernment and careful attention to the amufeme^it of the public, in refufing a farce prefented to him, called Ofmyn and Daraxa ; per- formed afterwards at the great theatre in the Haymarket, previous to the building of new Drury, and defervedly damned. Hinc ilia lacbrytiice. Ever fince he has cxercifed his impotent malignity againfl: a man who is far above the reach of his flander. Every thing concerning the Little Theatre, which appears in the Oracle, is written under the head Little Hoiife. We fhould be at a lofs to conceive what this meant, were we not certain that Mr. B. writes the criticifms himfelf, and that this is a very proper diredion where to take them to. t Pollio, or a Mr. Litchfield, is a young man belonging to fome office about town, M'hofe employers not giving, or having fufficient bufinefs to take up the whole of his time, feeks a further occupation in fcribbhng fornewfpapers, at fome inconfiderable ftipend. He formerly wrote, whart he calls, critiques for the Publican's Advertifer, but being difmilfed from that paper, he now does them for the Morning Port. He alfo contributes occafionally to a trifling publication, called the Monthly Mirror. In thefe feveral things he has uniformly abufed Mr. Colman and his produdions. As this cannot have arifcn from any refufal of apiece or any thing of that kind on the part of Mr. C. — he being incapable of V, riting any thing except dull eifays for magazines, and long-winded remarks for ncwfpapcrs, which nobody reads — we cannot attribute it to aught but that he would ferve the wound rankling in the bofom of Mr. Boaden, with whom, from the manner they appear to play into each other's hands, we have no doubt he is clofely conncdtcd. Nothwithllanding, '• They fight a var of waves againfl a rock," C =5 ] *' But impotent they ftrive, with pigmy blow, " To beat the firm-fix'd bay from Colman's brow; " It hves, fhall flomufh, fpite of Envy's blaft, " For gain'd by merit it with time fhall laft ! " Tliou, pining at his worth, his wily friend,* " Did'ft dare to injure what thou could'ft not mend.f we cannot Tuppofe that either will dcfift, while the one has a grudge to gratify, and empty columns to fill, and the otherno alternative to pafs his time. In the fummer this young fpark is infedled with the Jpouting infania, and goes to difFerent parts of the country, where he ftruts his hour to the great amufcment of — himfelf. * Mr. K. has, in more inftances than one, under the mafk of friendfliip, be- trayed and ill-treated Mr. Colman. When Mr. C. was writing his excellent play of the Mountaineers, K. chanced to be on a vifit at his houfe, and having read part of the charadrer of 0(5lavian, was fo delighted with it, that he entreated to play it at the little theatre. Mr. C. alTured him that he could not afford him fuch a falary as he would demand: to which he replied, " that he would play it for nothing, for he knezv it would be the making of himJ" — " Well," was the rejoinder, "if it will ferve you, I will work up the charader purpofely for you, and give you twelve pounds a week." Kemble after this abufed Mr. Colman, and faid, he had paid him like a beggar. — Ingratum odi ! t By acting worfe than he generally does, Mr. K. has often, but not always without reprobation, attempted to fet the performance of an author he difliked in the worft light. Witnefs his execrable condud during the reprefentation of Irc- G C 26 ] land's Vortigern ! Though we are very willing to condemn this as a deferving pro- duction, we cannot but defpife fuch Jefuitical cunning in an ador, 'Twas the fame when he played in the Iron Cheft. Had he laboured under fuch a fevere indifpofition as he affeded, why did he not keep his chamber ? Why did he make his appearance only to injure a meritorious work ? Take this reply, — If he was as ill as he feenied, he merely took that opportunity of doing more covertly, what, had he been \\ ell, as in Vortigern, he intended to attempt. But notwithftanding all the foul means that may have been, or can be ufed, to take away from the value of the Iron Cheft, which 1 do contend contains much beautiful and maft:erly writing, or to blur the well-earned reputation of Mr. Colman as a writer, the time fliall come when his contemporary dnvnatic authors, to ufe Falftaff's phrafc, " Shall all ftiew like •^ilt two-pences to him j and he in the'clear fky of fame." Mr. C. in his preface to his Iron Cheft, has ably explained to the world the caufe of its mal-fuccefs, at Drury Lane Theatre; and Mr. Ellifton, hy aw honeji exertion of powers, which promife foon to eclipfe the partial mtnt of his fraternity, has confirmed the truth of every affertion, drawing down from frequent unbiaffed audiences, at the Haymarket, the meed which envy and knavery had till then the fortune to withhold from the out-ftretched hand of juftice. With all thefe convincing arguments in favour of its merit, Mr. C. rnufi: laugh at the pointlefs rage of Garrettcers, who, under the mafk of impartial criti- cifm, gratify, if not fome latent enmity, fome lurking malice $ at leaft attempt to gratify the cravings of an hungry belly. Still they yelp ! ftill they fpit their fpite ! ftill their envious bills are pecking at his fame ! and what does it all prove ? Juft as much with him as with refpcA to fruit, " That is ufually found to be the fweeteft, which the birds have pecked at the moft." We do not find ourfclves difpoled to conclude this note, without touching rjjThtly upon fome very illiberal coramcms made by a writer in the Monthly Mir- C 27 J ror, (a Mr. Litchfield we fufped) on the lafl: produdion of Mr. Colman. He lingles out thefe verfcs, which he drives to ridicule and pervert. " Heaven and earth ! " Let my pure flame of honour flirne in ftory " When I am cold in death ; and the flow fire " That wears my vitals now, will no more move me, " Than 'twould a corpfe within a monument." Which verfes, diveflied of their poetical habiliment, have this very fenlibk and intelligible lignification. " Oh heaven! Let me but think, that, when I am no more, my fame fliall live unfuUied; and the anguifli of mind, which nov), at this moment^ preys upon my vitals, occafioned by the fear I entertain of the reverfe, will no more affiicT: me, than it would a body incapable of fufferancc." The little adverb now, it feems, ex hiduftrid, efcaped this fapient commenta^ tor, who, by the further aid of italics andfalfe punnuation, would fain make us be- lieve that Mr. C. intended Sir Edward Mortimer fiiould fay, " That when he was dead, he fhould be no more fufceptible of pain or re- morfe, than any other corpfe." Genius of fophiflication ! was there ever fuch mifreprefentation as this .'' We have neither room nor inclination to follow this angry critic. Blundering forhis purpofe, through the abfurdity and fallacioufnefs of all his malicious mifac- ceptations of Mr. C's fenfe, but we cannot help noticing a literary impofition, in the conftant ufe of the prefent writer, by which, with fome people, he may be miftaken for a man of deep reading. Inftances of it in him are numberlefs ; but the few which offer themfelves on the very page now before us will ferve, as well as many more, to explain our meaning. . E 28 ] In torturing the paffage jufl treated of, he makes this obfervation. " Flame/' fays Sir Ifaac Newton, " if we recoilect right, is but a vn- pour, an exhalation heated red hot," and thus Milton : " Vapour, and mifl", and exhalation hot." " If we recolleSl right !" Now from this, who would not fuppofe that he was perfedtly verfed in Sir Ifaac, and had Milton by heart ? when at the fame time it is odds he has not read the laft, and a thoufand to one he n.t\trJdzo the former, 'Tis yet ftrange j but to him who poiTefTes a Johnfon's didlionary, the juggle ftands confeft. Flatue is the fubjed ! turn to flame in the Doctor's folio edition. FtAME, n. s. Is not 2. flame a vapour, fume, or exhalation heated red hot? Newton." As Mr. C. talks of " a flame fhining in ftory," it was as well not to give any more of the quotation, which proceeds thus, " red hot, that is, fo hot as to Ihine." The epithet/»«rf, applied to flame, he, certainly from never having read the poets, deems improper. And as Dodorjohnfon gives iragainft him under feveral \\ords,we are thence led to fuppofe that he had recourfe for his information, in this inftance, to Mother Johnfon's didionary, where he could hardly exped: to find pure flame. Well, fomcthing is ftill wanting on the fubjeH. Flame is but a vapour, ac- cording to Newton. See Vapour. Here we have what we need. " Vapour, and mift, and exhalation hot." Milton, John. Di£l. " Naturalifts," fays he, in a period jufl: before this, " have informed us that fprings break out from the top of hills, &c. &c." Had he acknowledged that Dr. Johnfon informed him fo under the word fprings, we would believe him. " Again, in the fame page, we find a pretty anecdote of Bifliop Wilkins, who did not qucftion but the time would come, when it would be as ufual to hear a [ ^^9 3 " Away, incapable of generous deed ! " Yet mark you firft, the lines I'd have you heed. " ' *Reje6l the praifes you can ne'er preferve, " * Believe not what you pay for you deferve. " ' Survey thy foul, not what thou doft appear, " ' But what thou art — and find the beggar there." This faid, with hafte, his hat he rifmg took, And left the room with curs'd Medufan look. man call for his wings, when he is going a journey, as then it was to call for his hoots. See this under the word Boot. A little beyond another quotation is required to help out. Pope's a very good Poet, and a line from him will embellilli. " None but himfclf can be his parallel." See Parallel. All thefe occur in the fliort fpace of two pages \ and we think it would be unneceflary to purfue him any further, as they will fufficiently fliew, that making effays, &c. to men who have recourfe to fuch auxiliaries, is a talk of but very little difficulty, and worthy of but very moderate praife. . * " Refpue quod non es: tollat fua munera cerdo-: " Tecum habita, et noris quam lit tibi curta fupellex." Fersius. H. [ 30 ] " Farewel to Kemble! how the truth will fling!" Exclaim'd the bard, and fmooth'd his ruffled wing. For honeft fervor had diftrub'd him more, 1 Than milk-maids are, when you i\ib out the fcore, y Or Lady Lade, when told — her knight is poor.* J Or Leeds and Mulgrave, when you laugh to fee Them work away as Cobb and company.^ * Lady Lade, though Sir John keeps a continual auction in his houfe, cannot bear to hear that he is growing poor. Thofe who fee the knight and his lady fitting at the opera, as far apart as their box will permit, and fajhionahle decency orders married folks to obferve, will fcarcely credit, what is an abfolute fact, that Sir John hardly ever lets a day efcape without writing billet-doux to his fair fpoufe, and will pine and take on like any Arcadian fwain, if fhe will not fmile upon him; which favour he ftill buys, when he has any money. Her ladyfliip, who certainly muft know befl', calls him an old fool, and tells every body that he writes love letters to her. Black Davis, we are forry to fay, is proving poor Sir John, with all his expe- rience, to be ftill a pigeon. t Lord Mulgrave, Mr. Cobb, and the Duke of Leeds, together, produced that wonderful effort of genius, I'he Firjl of June. Cobb wrote the dialogue, Leeds and Mulgrave the fongs. What may we not expedl from fuch a triumvi- rate with pcrfev^rance ! [ 31 J Or Hanger* if you joke him on his book. Or even fay he has a hanging look. Or Doctor PARR,f when afk'd a civil queftion. Who'll growl and grunt, and eat paft all digeftion. * Lieutenant Colonel George Hanger, has lately written a Pamphlet entitled Military Reflections, compofed as he walked up and down Bond-Street and Pall-Mail. We wiih the Colonel much fuccefs in his literary perambulations, and have no hefitation in thinking, that he will not ceafefrom his labours until he has written as many books as — he has read. t There is not a more proud, overbearing, unfociable being in exifience than Parr. Puffed up with pedantry, and falfe notions of his confequence, he is wanting in common civility to almoft every body. We remember dining at a friend's houfe fome time lince, where the Docftor was prefent, and who, be- ing the greateft ftranger, was of courfe treated with the moft attention. There happened to be fifh at the head of the table, and beef at the bottom. The lady of the houfe fent him fome fifli ; upon which he peevifhiy exclaimed, " I am not a pifcivorous animal — I never eat fifh." She then begged her neighbour to help him to fome beef; but before that could be done, he growled out, " I hate beef." " Good God!" faid the lady to a friend who had brought the Dodor unexpededly, " this is very unfortunate, for you really fee your dinner — what can I do ?" — " Never mind, leave him, alone," faid the gentleman, " he'll come round beft by himfelf!" and fure enough he did, for when he perceived how they were difpofed to treat him, he began upon the beef, and eat, at leaft, as much as two of us. Before this memorable dinner, the gentleman in whofe houfe he was, coming up to Dr. Parr, who was Handing at the window, looking over the True Briton, " What do you think of that paper. Sir?" faid he. " Why I think Sir," replied [ 32 ] he, fternly, " that none but fools take it in, and none but fools read it." The gentleman, quite thunderflruck At/uch politenefs, had not the prefence of mind to add, " that he believed fo, from feeing it in the Dodor's hands." Parr, as it was faid of Dr. Johnfon, whom he afFeds to imitate, and of whofe failings he certainly affords no bad idea, is like a ghoft — he never fpeaks till he is fpoken to. But here the limilc of the ghoft vanijhes. When Johnfo.n was roufed, though a bear in manners and in feeming, " Ye Gods how he would talk 1" How would he blend inllru6lion with delight ! The fafcination of Jiis elo- quence charmed, though it reproved, and " truth came mended from his tongue. " Not by Haemonian hills the Thracian bard, " Nor awful Phoebus was on Pindus heard, " With deeper filenceand with more regard." His auditors would lift, " Till unperceiv'd the heavens with ftars were hung, " And fudden night furpris'd the yet unfinifti'd fong." Parr, when ftirred, merely grunts out a contemptuous reply, rubs his pawsj md goes to flccp again. fiipMi xoivwvi'icy Pindar Pytli. i. Epod.r. '* Him therefore nor in/weet focie/j, " converfing ever name ; " Nor with the harp's delightful melody " Mingle his odious inharmonious fame'" West,. C 33 3 More was not Cowflip mov'd, when fet a raving By Derby,* who declar'd fhe wanted fhaving, And fwore as fhe came off the ftage— all puffing, That fiie'd play FalftafF better— without ftuffing.f Or fimple Arnold, when, in harmlefs fun, You fmile to hear him praife his filly fonj. * This fprightly little lord is always cracking his good things on her ladyfliip. They often play together at the Margravine of Anfpach's puppet flicw. He enads Punch, fhe his Wife, and the Margrave on particular occafions plays the Devil. This joke of his could not have been at all agreeable to Cowflip, for this reafon — That true jejls are of all others the leafl entertaining — to ihofe "whom they concern. t Cowflip, is a nick-name given to Lady Buckinghamlliire, ever fince flic attempted that charader at the Margravine's. His lordfhip meant flie would pla/ Falftaff better, being able to fay, at any time, with propriety, " No quips now, Piftol; indeed I am in the wafte two yards about; " but I am now about no wafte : I am about thrift," .And flie is really thriving every day. But can it be a matter of furprife, when we inform you, her ladyfliip declared to us one night at the opera, " That fhe had her own cows driven to the door every morning ; and, that othervvife, although doatingly fond of tea, ftie could never drink a drop." Thus performing by the aid ^of milk, what Sir John effedled with fack. \ Docftor Arnold is an honeft man, and now and then a good compofer; next, in our opinion, with fome interval between, to Shields. The Dodlor's fimplicity of foul, and blind affedion for his fon, are, though natural, often highly ridiculous. I C 34 3 Now fing we on, in fmooth harmonious ftrain, *1 The world in arms !— the mimic world I mean, > And give the final touch, to this our Thefpian fcene, J New Drury firft appears, in clamourous hum. Like Stock Exchange, when fettling day is come ! All ready there, with claims in dread array — All— all— but thofe who fhould be there to pay. What wonder then if waddling fome Ihould quit, Full well affur'd — ex nihilo nil Jit,* Benfley retires ! and him the Mufe affords A juft eulogium, and his worth records. O ! how (he joys to praife !— compell'd fhe rails, But yields with zeal when merit fills her fails. Holcroft, talking with the old man one evening, in our company, about the Little Theatre, afked him — " Whether they had any thing coming out there ?" " No," faid he, " I don't hear of any thing, except a play of Cumberland's. Sen- timent, dull fcntiment — hot toaft in July — Can't run long." — " They are badly off indeed then," was the reply. " Why no — my fon, my boy is at work for 'cm. Day and night, night and day, he's at it — he'll keep them a going. • Others, who have nowhere clfe to go, remain and confole themfelves, we imagine, by replying to thofe who make this obfervation — £.v Nilo Mo/csfit. C 2S 1 *Bensley and Pope adieu ! the ftage fliall find You've fcarce left aught of greater price behind. But King, fhall King,+ the veteran, begone. While yet his legs will bear him off" and on? Forbid it Juftice— and his caufe efpoufe — Some Goth or Vandal's fure got in the houfe ! " True ! true ! 'tis thus the worn-out aftor fares," Lifp'd honeft Waldron, coming up the Hairs. Waldron. " Good Mailer Pasquin— O they've ufed me foul! «rmofF!'-J Pasquln. *' I would you were with all my foul ! * Mr. Bendey and Mifs Pope make their final exit with nearly as much repu- tation as players, and with full as much private efteemj for honor and integrity, as any they leave will find it poflible to efFedt. t We hear with much concern that King is difmiffed from Drury Lane. We hope it is not true. If he be obliged to refign, through want of bodily powers, we cannot lament his lofs too much. If we are robbed of him by the blindnefs, or what not, of managers, we cannot condemn them fufficiently for ingratitude to him, and for depriving us of fo valuable an ornament to the Britifli ftage. X Waldron is alfo cafhiered. He is an ufeful, though by no means a brilliant C .36 ] *•' Well, as you're here, come fit ye, fit ye down, ** And let us hear what's flirring 'bout the town." Waldron. " What, war or peace? For peace the people figh, "j " But all in vain, there's no one heeds their cry : >► " Quicquid delirant reges, ple6luntur Achivi." J Pasquin. " Pfhaw ! Stuff ! have done ! you know what I've in hand, " Thro' Drur}^ failing — pray how lies the land ?" Waldron. " But badly faith, they've chang'd their mafter, true — " The Log's difmifs'd, and they've a Stork in lieu ;* player, and will doubtlefs be employed again. At his time of life he fliould not be thus banded about. * The allufion to the fable is aptly enough introduced here. Kemblc and his family might certainly be compared to a log, which, while he was manager, managed to keep every thing at a ftand flill. Thofe who are now at the helm, feem of an adivc levelling difpofition, and v. ill, we think, cither by a fortunate concurrence of events mount, or pcrliaps, by a more probable fuppofiuon, kick every thing to the Devil. In a pamphlet, LiuiUcd ." Thci Wreck of Wcftminftcr Abbey," we find the following cjJtaph on the ci-divant manager of Dm ry Lane theatre, M'hich wc think could not have bccnfo appofitcac any former period as 'at the prefcnt.. [ 37 ] " Here reds A vain, an infolent, but not a diverting, rather a mourning vagabond, A would-be Garrick, but over was a K : As a dramatift, he gained riches through the interefl: of his Siddonian Relative ; but never acquired celebrity. In his manner, flifF, awkward, and conceited ; In his utterance, turgid, precife, and univerfally monotonical ; Aftedling that which he ever did but affed-. The charadler of a Critic ; Difregarding that which he ever fliould have regarded. An appeal to the paflions, and an imitation of the manners of Mankind, When his fifter quitted the theatric boards, which flie had trod with uncommon and deferving reputation, He was difcharged ; The managers no longer being induced to prefervc a ftiff and infenlible mummy. He died of the Cacoethes Famae, Odober 18 — " Ut nonnulli volunt ; But as more have been heard to propound. Of a complicate difeafe. Called envy, rage, and difappointment : Which firft feized him. At the re-appearance, brilliant reception. And merited fuccefs Of the Iron Chest ; To which he fell a melancholy objed: Of pity and contempt. K C 3S ] " One Lawyer Griibb'^—-in vain, poor fouls, we bawl out, " He's in, and ere he's done, will grub us all out. '• There Gibbs fhall ftrain her little throat no more, '• And Sedgwick,* wood-work Sedgwick, ceafetoroar; * Grubb is a cropt, ftupid, good-natured fellow, who had the happy fortune to have a father, who was for many years clerk to the fifhmonger's company, and, though no conjurer, was alfo a dealer in the black art, that is to fay, was an attor- ney ; in which profeffion he acquired a confiderable property, which his fon, without being a conjurer, either will himfelf, or by the help of thofe he is now conneded with, foon find a mode of fpending. Young Grubb, for fo he likes to be called, came forward very opportunely with fix thoufand pounds, when Sheridan wanted " to make up a little fum to fend his poor relations in the country." For which Mr. S. very handfomely gave him his own — verbal fecurity. t The elegant, winffe5fedi artlefs deportment of Mr. Sedgwick on the ftage; fo amiable in love fcenes, &c. &c. and unequalled by any but Mr. Boaden, at the other houfe, mufi: certainly increafe the dolor of the public at the lofs of his mufical powers. One would not have thought that a manager could have difcharged fuch a conJieU lation of excellence, fuch a lump of harmony, as Dignum is called, for the trifling faulty which cuftom and Mr. John Palmer have almofi: pafied into a law, of fcarcely ever reading his part, till within half an hour of the time of performance, preferring the more refined delight of driving a girl about in a gig. [ 39 ] " Thence Bland,* by artful villany begull'd, " Bears the fweet notes that cheer'd the dreary zuiidj- " Now follow CaulfielDjJ for thyfelf art free, " We'll mark how far thy love will carry thee : " Hence ! on whom each honeft brow is fcowling, *' Nor loiter here, ' to bay the moon with hov/ling.' * Poor Bland ! She is indeed deferving of our pity. Ruined by the vile ar- tifice, the bafe fedudtion of Caulfield, we fhall foon lofe one of the fweeteft fingers, and, as a finger, one of the befl: comic adlrelTes, that ever walked the boards. She is now about to crofs the Atlantic ; Mr. Caulfield's boafted love will confequently be feen in its true colours. t Wild, or wildernefs, was a title given to New Drury by the/age Mr. Boadcn. About which time Sheridan, who had heard this, was requefted to accept a tragedy of Mr. Boaden's. "No, no," faid S. " He calls our Houfe a wilder- nefs ; — I don't mind letting the Oracle have his opinion, but I have a great objec- tion to permitiing him to prove his -words. X The ftage will not at all be injured by the abfence of this imprudent young man. If he poffefTed any merit, it was as an imitator ; a fpecies of exhibition managers do not confult their own intereft by encouraging. Many excellent per- formers, who have, as is common to all people, either fome peculiarity in their gait or fpeech, are fcnfibly affecfled by it. For it is not only a very mortifying fight, and a fight that ought not to be countenanced, for any man to fee his natural infirmities fported with, but the audience do not fee him afterwards with the fame pleafure. Thus it is doubly rcprehenfible. " Storage too, fufpends, 'tis faid, her ftralns, " If true no lofs, while lovely Leake remains. " Th' old girl, whene'er fhe ftarts, 'tis play and pay, "^ *' And as they 'could not pay, flie would not play, " Some think 'twas vaftly mean — but ' that's her way,'^ J \ * We fear our author is here rather rafh and unjuft in his conclufion, as the anecdote annexed we think will prove; being at once a ftriking example of her Roman virtue, and marked contempt of money. A gentleman having fallen defpe- rately in love with Signora Storace, (no accounting for people's tafte) found his heart in a fituation, which nothing but fleeping one night under the fame roof with her could poffibly alleviate. To accomplifli ^\■hich, he had recourfe to a good-natured old foul, whom we have the honor to know, and from whom we had this, who taking pity on him, kindly undertook to wait upon Signora Storace, with an account of his malady, and a hundred pound bank note, which the good lady, with her rhetoric, had feldom found to fail. This Ihe did immedi- ately in Howland Street, where being introduced to Signora Storace, fhe briefly explained the objedl of her miflion, and prefented the reward of compliance. Storace, Ihe faid, took the note in her hand, read it over, and faw that it was good, Afked her innumerable queftions, Itill holding, and now and then taking a willful peep at the Newland ; as, " How any gentleman could think of fuch a thing ? Who he was ?" and fuch like. But at length all the Lucretia feizing her foul, fhe returned the note, and bade her old friend depart her lines. This we could not withhold from the world, as we have a great rcfpcdl for Signora Storace, and arc therefore happy to refute the charges brought againlT: her of Aingincfs. C 41 3 '' Next Moody." Pasquin. '•' What fomnific?" Waldron. " As I hear, " Pair'd off\Nith Mother Hopkins!" Pasquin. " Precious pair! " To make that fleepy mafs of av'rice* move, " Does fure, O Grubb! much in thy favour prove." Waldron. " Ere now, by Sherry, this good aft was done, " By fear made bold, he fent away the drone.f *.This heavy fon of Hibernia has acquired great riches by lending money to poor players, and fuch fort of folk. His affedionate regard for his wealth, has long fince rendered his name proverbial in the green room ; fo that a Moody, and a Mifcj; are there ufed as equivalent. " Quid A varus ? ** Stultus et infanus." The obfervations of Swift, " That we may fee how little God cares for riches, by the people he bellows them on," is well exemplified in Mr. Moody. t Mr. M. v>as formerlydifcharged from old Drury, for endeavouring to enforcf C 42 3 Pasquin. " Twas well ! But at this rate I have my fears, '• You foon will have more managefs than play'rs/' Waldron. "We've five!"' Pasquin. " One lefs, I never heard of more :" Waldron. '• The Duke* has join'd 'em, and commands the four. the payment of five hundred pounds ; a thing Mr. Sheridan could not think of with any patience. Previous to his difmiflion he wrote a vindidlive letter to S. and ex- hibited it amongfl: his friends, threatening to read it publicly on the huflings at Stratford (the borough Sheridan rcprefents) unlefs his demands were liquidated The town muft rejoice exceedingly at the fcceflion of fuch an ador, as alfo the theatre, being as it is, thereby loihtirthcncd of him, the tax of nine pounds a week, and two hundred pounds a year, which he received for difgulling every au- dience he came before. * The Duke of Clarence is faid to be a Robefpicrre amongfl: thefe five Dictators, the will of the remainder depending on his nod. His Highnefs intends bringing out a farce of his own, in the courfe of the fcafon, called the Manager in Di(he(s. The charaders, from what we have feen of them, although they arc taken from life, and poflefs fome wit, arc, we think, upon the whole very C 43 3 " All writers too, excepting one, you know !" Pasquin. " Enough to ruin any houfe, I vow. " Alas! poor Drury! what will now become on't? "You all will ftarve!" Waldron. " Starve ! V Pasquin. " Damitie if you won't ! " Who'll go to fee what Richardson* can write — '• Dull animal — or Grubb+ poor fenfelefs wight? poor: how they are to l>e cajf, has not as yet tranfpired, but we do not fuppofe he will play in it himfelf." * Richardfon wrotea Jkcpj, inlipid play called the Fugitive. But what livelier ftrain could be expeded from a man who would rarely be awake two hours in the day, were it not for an indefinent application of certain titillating corpufcles to thofe cavities that lead to the olfadlory nerves, and which gently agitating the medulla of the brain, preclude all poffible fufpenfion of the organs of fenfe. f The acconiplifhed Mr. Grubb, "lawyer, manager, and author of a mournful farce, entitled Alive and Merry, is alfo an actor, that is, he plays, where no one can prevent him, at his own theatre, Margate. C 44 ] " Or Cumberland,* with five a6i; fermons boring " Undifturb'd ! unlefs 'tis with our fiioring ? " Or who can fmg-fong, hodge-podge Cob Bjf endure; " None, none, the barn will be deferted fure, He treated his audience one night with himfelf in the character of Penrud- dock, and to be fure he gave Mr. Cumberland's fecond edition of Shakfpeare's Timon, in a ftyle peculiar to himfelf. We pronounce him a very original aclor. As a farce writer he is about a match for little Brewer, who has lately produced a miferable one at the little theatre. If either of them depended upon his author- fliip for a fubfiftence, he would doubtlefs experience many woeful Baiinian days. * There is not a more envious man in exiftence than Mr. C. If you praife another author in his company, he abfolutely cannot fit upon his chair — he trem- bles with envy. Yet he is a very good-natured man, and if you avoid that particular chord, there is not a more entertaining companion. Applaud him! and he from morn to night will lift and never tire. He has without doubt more merit as a novelift, than as a writer of plays. Mr. C. would do well to recolleifl that what might come with great propriety from the pulpit, is little lefs than dullnefs on the flage. " Omnc tulit pundtum, qui mifcuit utile dulci, " Ledlorem dele£}a}ido, pariterque monendo. " Hie mcret aera liber Sociis ; hie & mare tranfit, " Et longum noto fcriptori prorogat aevum." t We flatter ourfelves with the idea that Mr. Cobb has concluded, his career with the death of Storace, and that we ftiall have no more patchwork from this gentleman. C 45 ] " And Shaw* on catgut fcrape his Iharps and flats, *' To moral mice, and fentimental rats." Waldron. ** But Sheridan !" Pasouin. " He write ? Dick write ? pfhaw ! ftuff ! " He knows too well that he has wrote enough. "+ Waldron. « He will, he fays :"+ Pasquin. " Words, words ! 'tis all deception, " I tell you, man, his Mufe is pafl conception !^ * A violent Democrat, leader of the Drury-Lanc band, and one of the Diflators of that Republic. t Mr. Sheridan is one among the very few who have thought it wife, or had the power over themfelves, to caft anchor in the current of Succefs. He feized the critical moment, and while yet his Pegafus was found wind and limb, with- drew him from the race. -Ne Peccet ad extremum ridendus. Hor. § He has long held out this hope to the public, and has even received a fum' for an opera, in which he declares he is far advanced, called The Caravan. " There are two bad pay mafters," fays the Proverb, " he who pays before hand, &c."— Drury Lane feems to be both, for we do not believe he has written, or intends to write a line, § A late copy of verfes, compofcd by Mr. S. on Capt. N. Ogle, who died in M [ 46 ] « The jade gets old, a very ftumbler grown, " Whom if he trufts, he lofes all he's won ;. " Bed-ridden quite, a fa6l, believe me, Sir, ^ No bairns again he'll gtt— at leajl by her. " You've not a foul upon your books, I'm certain, " Whofe works would pay for drawing up the curtain. " Think you that St. John, or that Hoare has wit?_^^ " Haft feen his Nlahmoud,^ read St. Marguerite ?+ the Weft Indies, firmly perfuades us, that not only he will not attempt to write any more plays, but that he is net now able, however much he might defire it We never witnefled morefcabrous lines, being exadly, including their inlipidity, what Ariftophanes calls, proje on horjeback. To infinuate, however, that Mr. Sheridan is not ftill a man of wit, is far from our intention, for we think he will yet give us an inftance of it, as would many otherof our modern writers, by writing no more. We have long regarded him as d vidorious A^o/xE^r, who, crown'd with laurels, bravely won. Sits fmiling at the goal while others run. Young. * Mahrroud, an opera recently produced by Mr. Hoare, flicws the vanity of authors, Becaufe Mr H. had been fuccefsful in two or three trifling farces, he afpired to the invention of an opera, in which he has plenarily expofed the weak- jicfs of his mind.- Stick to your laft ! t Mr. St. John wrote, bcfides this opiaiic farce, a tragedy, which was nearly damned the firft night, although the houfe was filled with his friends. Charles Fox was prefcnt on this occalion, and exerted his utmofl: toprefcrvc it. C 47 ] " Such forry dregs would prove we go and pay " To fee fome favourite aclor, not the play. " And Cumberland with truth muft e'en declare, " He owes his bed fucceffes to the play'r. " We can't but go, howe'er the piece be barren, " If Jordan's there, or yZz// bewitching Farren.* " Or SuETxf, who by laughable grimace, " Would fain oblivion give to Parsons's face. * Mifs Farren is an excellent aclrefs. The fafcination of her fmile has been felt from peer to plebeian. But, alas ! the time cannot be fiir diflant Whaj all thofe dimples fliall to wrinkles turn ! We fliould be happy if we could fay as much in favour of Mifs F's generofity as of her adling. She takes care of her mother, it is true, but this we think an adt of but negative merit. Her benevolence is of a very confined nature; fo much fo that we incline to believe that fhe is alfo a little bit of a Jefuit. There is an article in their code, which runs thus : " Thofe Jefuits who fliew a greater affection to their near relations than to the fociety, are to be difcarded as enemies of the order — but fome other pretence muft be alledged for their expuHion." — This Mifs F. appears to have attended to with the greateft earneftncfs, having many poor relations and friends, who certainly do not enjoy a greater portion of her affection, than would become the ftridteft ftickler for Jefuitifm. There was a time w^hen Mifs F. was not nurfed in the lap of eafe and plenty, and (hould, like Dido, as fiie is not ignorant of the frowns of fortune, have learnt to fuccour thofe who pine beneath their influence, " Non ignara mali miferis, fuccurere difco." t Suett would attempt to make us forget the inimitable Parfons, by furpafling L 48 ] ' Or Bannister* with ftir and endlefs rout, " Whofe fame will laft — until he gets the gout ! '- Shall Braham's notes mellifluent hll the void— - *• Leake fmg and fmile, and we not he decoy' d? " Such founds exaft the tribute of applaufe, '•' Think not, O Hoare, thy doggrel is the caufe.+ " 'Tis thus! no^v" quickly fay — aflift my fong, " Which hence to Covent wings its way along--- his comic extravagance of features. This he can never do. To borrow a grin from the dead is however a venial fault. S. alfo copies, as well as he can, the de- parted Barret, in the part of Crazy, in Peeping Tom. Although greatly beholden to the grave for his bumonr, Mr. S. has, upon the whole, much merit. We only "wifli it was more original. * It has ever appeared to us that Jack Bannifter is more indebted to his legs than to his head for the applaufe he obtains. Mr. Hoare's Prize was refufed by Kemble as unplayable trafh, and was brought out by Signora Storace for her benefit, 'at the inftigation of Mr. B. who, notwithflanding its abfurdity, thought he could kick it into favour. Here he was fucccfsful, but making a fimilar effort in the Three and the Deuce, all his buftle only ferved to expedite its condemnation. t The fongs written by Hoare, O'Keefe, and Cobb, are paffnig-dcfpica- blc. Yet wehave no doubt that when cither of thcfc gentlemem hears them fung, and applauded, he attributes it all to his verfes, if they may be fo called, and never to the voice of the finger, or the talle of die compofcr. C 49 ] " What's left unfung!" Waldron. " Crouch, Kelly, yet remain, " Young Kemble, Siddons, Miller, and a train " Moft numerous !" Pasquin. " Ah! Crouch! thy day is o'er, " 'Cold is that breaft, which warm'd the world before,'* «« Thy ^Irijh nightingale now roves, I fear, " And heedlefs quits ' his loaf, his only tear." * Mrs. Crouch, the once beautiful and admired Crouch, is now haftily lofing all her attradion. It will not furprifeany.one much to be told that fhe is a perfecl firanger to this ; but it muft make many fmile to hear that flie is at the prefent moment learning from Monfieur ioftng a note lower. t The cognomen of Iriflj nightingale, has long been enjoyed by Mr. Kelly. As a finger he is jufl: the reyerfe of Incledon. K's voice is neither capacious nor me- lodius; Incledon's is both : the firft poffefles much fcience, the latter is rude and uncultivated. As adlors, I will not pretend to adjudge the palm ! Mr. K. has, to be fure, a certain fomething in his voice highly captivating to female ears, and which is vilely termed a brogue. This is not now fo evident as when he firft made his appearance on the London boards. It has oft diverted us to liften to hin), when ringing thefe two lines, with his peculiar pronunciation. " Sure thou wert born to pleafe me, " My love, my only dear." N C 50 ] " Faft SiDDONS wains! Young Kemble* needs not wait "^ " For time to filver o'er his gloomy pate, v^ " But with my free confent, and Wathen,+ beat retreat. J " Miller has powers, is young, and will improve, " And if fhe fmgs not, win upon our love. He lately attempted an Irifh charadler in Hooke's childifh opera, and here, like Macready in fuch perfonations, we never heard him'fpeak Englijh xvilh more propriety and clearnefs. Mr. K's flame for his "only tear,^'' is certainly greatly abated, fince he now wanders about in the capacity of a finging mafter, leaving " his loaf" under the care of an unfortunate half-ftarved Frenchrnan. * Young Kemble will never make a player. The charadler he plays the beft is Fapour — he is here, to be fure, inimitable, in the effedt 'he gives it — Who can fee him without having the vapours ? The pride of this family would be furprifing, were it not fo common to thofe who rife from a low origin. We remember, a few years fince, meeting this young man with a ftick over his flioulder, on which was a bundle, walking unabaftied through the public ftreets. He is now, without merit to apologize for it, as proud as any of his relations, and " Forgets the little plough-boy, that whiftled o'er the lee." Young Palmer alfo docs not promife to make any great figure. His counte- nance is good ; but, as the fox faid of the vizor, " What a pity 'tis it has got no brains." _ t The Captain might do very well as a player among Lords, but the Lord deliver us from feeing him play amongfl: adors. [ 5^ ] " Now Covemt Garden come before my view !" Waldron. " Then I depart — farewel !" Pasquin. " Adieu, adieu! " Harris appear, and bring thy ragamuffin crew.* " No bring them not— too oft already they " Have been the heavy burthen of our lay. '* Lewis declines — when dreffed, with eyes afl^ew, " He imitates no buck, except old Q. " His time's gone by, he fluffs falfe calves in vain, " For flill the ancient calf is feen too plain. * Mr. Harris has, undoubtedly, to do with a pack o^ keen dogs. If he neg- lc " They don't deferve it, for they cannot play." j ' ft f The many amiable qualities of Mr. Reynolds hold him in great eftecm with ti li C 55 ] O'Keefe,* poor fellow ! fometimes may fucceed — May make us fmile — but ne'er can make us read! " His plays are fields with poppies rich abounding, " Where every thing but common-fenfe is found-in : " To Robinson's+ fine hi, te, ti, te, ti! *' This obfervation alfo may apply. all who know him. As a writer he is infinitely the bed of thofe who mean to contribute to the amufement of Covent Garden. He has already, wc hope, over- come the literary indifpojition, which always attends him upon the winding up of his plays, and placed his annual tribute in the hands of Mr. Harris ; from whofc tnauling pazvs, whenever it iffues, we are fure it will be a further addition to the few refpe^iable prodii&ions of the modern ftage. * The works of Mr. O'Keefe are in general fo exceedingly outre, fo extrava- gantly whimfical, that one cannot well fee them without a fmile. To read them is a thing utterly impradlicable. We think, from the Magic Banner, that we have not much more to expedl from him. It was impoffible for us to fee that play with- out exclaiming, " Alas ! poor O'Keefe ! where be your gibes now? your gambols? your fongs ? your flaflies of merriment, that were wont to fet the galleries in. a roar? Not one now!" t Lord Shaftfbury fays, the fenfus communis, is a fenfe very feldom found among the great. We believe it; and therefore Mrs. Robinfon's poems are feen in the windows of many people of fafhion. We like fomething more than words in poetic compofitions : no one will find any thing elfe in Mrs. R's. Verfus inopes rerum nugaque caronx. The works of women who inhabit the regions of fafliion, from their price, may be well compared to filver, in the purchafe of which, xhtfq/hion is always rated at ten times, at leaft, the intrinfic value of the thing itfelf. [ 56 ] " With lofty tip-top inane phrafes beaming, " And metaphors and figures wond'rous, teeming, " On vellum printed, and but charg'd a guinea, '• Vancenza's in the hand of — ev'iy ninny ! " Anxious they read ! and read ! ! it is fo clever ! ! " Then rife, and find themfelves — as wife as ever. " Prize Reynolds' humour for it fuits the town, " 'Tis good, original, and all his own. " No pilf 'rer he — whate'er he fays he writ, " He writ ! he never borrows other's wit ; " Would fcorn an aft that's mean, and blufh'd to fee " His empty friend tax'd home with rogueiy. " Alas! poor Morton! of Zorinfkian fame, " How have you toil'd, and well deferv'd — your Ihame. " None's fafe with you, for lately, wanting prey, " You took e'en Reynolds' chara6lers away. " And now, could he retaliation chufe, *' You know full well you have not 07ie to lofe*. " Thus indifcriminate, ' alive or dead,' " You fteal from all, and 'grind and make your bread,' 1 C 57 ] " But hark ye there, who labour with the fpleen— . " Haft feen Tom's pi6lure in the magazine? " Doll think he did not pay to have it in ? J " His hfe too — hold your laughter if you can — Ohejamfatis eft of fuch a man.* ti i * It is very generally known that there is nothing more common to ('ditors of magazines than to receive five or ten guineas, according to their circuiacion, for permitting the head of any would-be author, or egregious coxcomb, to appear in the work, with fome hyperbolical account of his wonderful good qjaliries, miraculous genius, and confequently unheard-of perfecution. In tiiis cafe there can be no doubt of the fadl. Mr. Morton, to gratify a contemptible vanity, and to attempt to refute charges he never could even meet his friends upon without con- fufion, has availed himfelf of a trumpery publication, now offering itfelf to any one at a very trifling rate, in which he has given an' engraving of his fweet face; procuring fome one of the fcribes, the beft of whom .would rejoice to doit for Haifa guinea, to write, as a biographical fketch, whatever Mr. M. could invent in his own favour to accompany it. We however being acquainted with this gentle- man's literary as well as private charadler, fhall in a iew lines give the former to our readers, left by any accident the Monthly Mirror fliould fall into their hands, of which there is no great fear, and lead them into a falfe conclufion on thejuftice of his claims to the approbation of the world. Theinfipid writer of this biographical fketch, as it is called, of Squire Morion, commences by ftating, that " the objedt of that department is to communicate fads ; we fliall content ourfelves with telling the truth, a pleafure his venality obliged him to overlook. Mr. Morton, nephew to Maddifon the lottery office keeper, near Charing- Crofs, was educated at a fchool in Soho; where he is remembered more for having P [ 58 3 idled away his time with Hohtian, in fpouting plays, than for indulging a laudable emulation to excel his fchool-fellows. They foon left this feminary together, and were intended by their friends to follow rejpe5iable profeflions, but dejiiny whofe dc" cree is irreverJiMe, had doomed Morton to make plays, and Holman to a6l them. As a writer Mr. M. has not been without his fliareof abufe; perhaps he has riot had more than his fhare. His firft production was Columbus, which though bad in the extreme, was claimed and clearly proved, by Mr. Thelwall, to have been written by him, and by clandeftine means nearly copied by Mr. M. It is alledo-ed, by way of apology for the latter, that no two writers can take a plot from Marmontcl without introducing the fame charac1:ers, incidents and fenti- ments, and making their pieces undeftinguifliably identick. We cannot for a moment allow the truth of a pofition fo puerile and ridiculous. And we fear fuch a marvellous coincidence of mental operation, will meet with but little credit, where Mr. M. is a party concerned. He next came forward with the Children in the Wood, which he did not think proper to acknowledge, we may reafonably fuppofe, until he was pretty well alTiired that his mutilations, from no claimants appear- ing, had baffled all difcovery. ** Thus bad begins, but worfe remains behind." He then produced Zorinfki, to make up which he had metamorphofed and mangled Brooke's Guftavus Vafa, one of the fineft written plays in our language. This plagiary might have long remained a fccret, but for the ingenious refearch of an anonymous writer, under the fignature of Truth, who was evidently adlu- ated by no other motive than to expofe impudent audacity and fliamelefs im- pofture. Thcfe ftridures firft made their appearance in a morning paper, and were afterwards colleded together, and publiflied in a pamphlet. The language is nervous and energetic ; the writer boldly advances what he firmly cftabliflics. — He docs not, as is ufual with men aftuated bybafe motives, affert without proof,' or accufc without tcftimony, but with the utmoll candour and plainnefs, brings forward whole fpccchcs from Guftavus, copied literally by Morton in his Zo- rinflii. [ 59 ] The difVerent thefts thus proved, wc do not fee what it can avail in his favour that we fhould be told that Brooke's play is as notorious, and as well known as any of Shakfpeare's, and that a man would be as fixfe from detedion in taking from the one as the other. For granting this to be the truth in the prefent inftance, it only goes to fhew Mr. M. to be a more audacious plunderer than he would otherwife appear. Attacked in this formidable manner, he knew not how to adt ; he dared not deny the charge, and his fear pronounced him guilty. 'Ivx yap Ss®-, iW xai aiSaJr. Luc. The manager, neverthelefs, profited greatly by this champion of Truth;. and to him may certainly be afcribed the immenfe influx of cafli into the treafury, and not to the merits of Zorinfki, for Mr. M. had made fuch wretched ufe of the fo- reign aid he had borrowed, and intermixed with it fo much of his own wit, as to render it miferabile vifu ! An attempt was made to give // a run at Covent Gar- den, but having to depend on its own merit, for full benches, and no longer on the voice of accufation — it was played one night, to an empty houfe. He is faid in his life, " to poffefs that happy art of feledling from the ftores of half-forgotten ballads, &c. &c." zve think this xuas a confejjion perfectly «//- neceffary. Carmina Morton emit : recitat fua carmina Morton : Nam quod emis, poflis dicere jure tuum. Mart. We are then informed that, with all thefe blufliing honours on his head, he had the nerves " To go his three nights to the treafury — whiftle an opera tune — put the receipts in his pockets — and to think about vianufaBiiring another play." Thus is Mr. M. depicted, like theevil angel in Addifon's Campaign, " Smiling in the tumult and enjoying the ftorm ;" that is, hugging himfelf in the fuccefs of his own craft, laughing at the public in- fatuation, and pocketing up their pence?" [ 6o ] " Not fo with Andrews,* humble plodding cit— '' As genuine in his ^vomen as in his wit. o H'ts 'laft effort, brought out at Covent Garden lad feafon, is. a lame imitation of Reynolds's originality. Every charadler, and the greater part of the incidents, are taken from Mr. R's Notoriety, Dramatift, Rage, &c. &c, O imitaibres ser~ vum pecus ! The refemblance alfo is fo great to Speculation, that many peoplq are of opinion, that Mr. R. finding he had much more to fay for each of his cha- racters than he could introduce, gave it to his friend Morton, and helped him to ■work it up into the Way to get Man-ied; and Frederick for the prefent good-na- turedly lets him enjoy the credit of it. If it he fair to judgeof the future by the pajl, we may form a tolerdbfe idea of what we have to expenfmn'Mr. ■Mm-lon. The greatefi: misfortune for him is, that ge- Tiiiis is not an acquiiitienj ajHd;as-,bc is now returned, from the Ifle of Wight, where he has been making .^/jyf/frT/OHJOT to «/«fl//yi? for another pl.iy, we would ad- vac.-him, for the-fafce of the remnant of his reputation as an author, to adopt the ho- neftyofTerenc-e, -and to infect fomcthing.equivalent to the two fubfequent verfes in the prologue to all his future compofttions. Quje convenere, in Adriam ex Perinthia Fatetur tranftulifTe, atque ufum pro fuis. M. P. Andrews, M. P. the redoubted member for Bewdley, is a very fingu- J9.rr.iitian, both in his writings and his amours. His pieces are purely ^original. Wn grey nymph t whofe flowing ringlets entwine his little doating hearty in raptu^ rous blind deliglit, u an unique. Her ftylc of playing in private, tickled the .member's fancy fb much, that He recommended her to the manager of Covent (iardcn to perform Mifs Wallis's comic charadcf in the Myllerics of the Caftle. This was not agreed to by Flarris. She is, howevtr, \Vc undcrftand engaged by [ 6i J " He takes from none--no keen-e)'cd book-worm fears, " As in his Myfl'ries clearly it appears. " Who can, who dares of plagiary indite it— " I fwear that he, and only he could write it! " O! Andrews! reft affur'd, the fates defisrn *' No one fhall envy any piece of thine. " HoLCROFT, quite faplefs grown, can write no more — " His body's feeble^ and his mind is poor.* Colman to fit as My Grandmother, inftead of the pidure m the farce of that title. As the trick is too palpable in the tranfition from the canvas to Mifs Leake, \vc think the efted will be heightened. The divine oljeci of our contemplation is admirably defcribed in thefe four lines. " Quel age a cetle Iris, dont on fait tant de bruit ? " Me demandoit Cliton n'aguerre. *' II faut, dis je, vous fatisfaire, *' Elle a vingt ans le jour, ttfoixante ans la nuii." How mature, how ripe, and perfed, mufl: be the joys arifing from an inter- courfe of fouls, with one whom fime has rendered dexterouJJy fkilful in all the ideal or theoretical, andpradical blandifliments of love! O happy, thrice happy, Peter! * Mr. Holcroft's great tenet for a long time was, that the mind is fo com- pletely independent on the material part of man, that it cannot be effected by any difeafe incident to the human frame. " Nor rolling feas, nor an impetuous wind, " Can overfet the ballaft of themind." Walker's Epictetus. C 62 ] " Had ToPHAM genius, and the fame it gives, " (The world well knows no greater blockhead lives) " I could not praife him, for my foul abhors '^ The man who breaks through Nature's fweeteft laws— . " Whofe heart fo callous to each tender tie, " So deaf to gratitude — to pity's figh— " Can fee that form he vilely has betray'd, " Now pine in w^nt, and never lend his aid. "Alas! much injur'd, beauteous, gen'rous Wells, " How oft on thee my thought with forrow dwells. " Accept a tear — 'tis all I can beftow — " That, and to hate the author of thy woe.* Mr. H. however, has furvived his opinion, and is himfelfaproof of itsfallacioufnefs. His mind is much debilitated by the various fliocks his body has fuflained, and he can riow fcrve for little clfe, but to ftand in the crofs road of Fadion, and point out to hia fellow-citizens — the road to ruin. * The ingratitude of Mr. Topham to poor Wells, mufl: receive the marked dcteflation of every honeft man. After living upon her falary, and exhaufting her finances, even to the laft farthing, he defcrted her to want and mifery in the King's Bench — a living inftance of female afteftion betrayed and infultcd. By him the town is deprived of the excellent powers of Mrs. Wells on the rtage, than whom a more engaging adlrcfs never graced its boards j and flae, whofe generous handj when [ 63 ] " Enough, enough! My Thefpian fong is done— " The herd difmifs'd ! — and is there living one, " Who thinks I do not all their worth allow them-— •* Believe me, 'tis — becaufe he does not know them." competent, was to the indigent world, in its bounty, as univerfal as the fun, who never rofe but to pity and relieve, is now fo much reduced as to need others cha- rity and commiferation. §3" We cannot refrain from making two or three obfervations on the preceding fatire, whereby we would prove that our author is entitled to every eftimation as a fatirift. " Diniofatira," fays Voffius, " laudalur non tam'poetica, quam pedejlris, ac fermonifiviiUs, peneqtie extemporalii." That he has obferved this rule, as well as that of abrupta omnia, with fome few exceptions, we think no one will fcruple to acknowledge. They will, therefore, inevitably allow him great praife ; lince an adherence to thefe precepts is well known to be perfectly in the ftyle of Horace. And to thofe who, overflowing with tendernefs, may affirm " that fatire ought rather to touch on thofe vices of men which it might ridicule, than thofe which it fhould reprove fericufly ;" and thence, on account of fome harfh pafTage, take occafion of condemning our poet, we reply in the words of Trapp, in his PrieleUiones poetica, to a like objection: — ^wdfiverum eft, inter vates Jatiricos Juvenalis vix erit nume- randus. ^tanquavi enim interdum ridet, plerumqtie ferio agit ; rarins jocis plerumque fiagello, utiinr. And we fliall even be contented if fuch a difference of opinion fliould induce a few to rank him no higher than Juvenal. Virgil, Horace, Ovid, and various other poets, have affured themfelves, in their writings, of immortality ; \\\\&.\\^x\s'V!h. more title than our bard, fome people will not think very douhtful ; but judging from what has been advanced, and from Fontenelle's maxim, that " thofe who would write for immortality, fliould write about fools," his brows appear to us already encircled with the envied wreath : — And furely he might, were the late Lord Barrymore living, with truth eja- culate : " Noil ego pauperum " Sanguis parentum, no n ego, (quern vocant) " DileHe Maecenas, obibo, *' Nee Stygia cohibebor und%. FINIS. * ^' ^:J UNIVERSITY or CALIFORNIA LIBRARY Los Angeles This book is DUE on the last date stamped below. Form L9-40m-7,'56(C790s4)444 PR V'illiams - 133I1 Pin-basket to the .h7n childrt-^n of Thes- :^n^rfB^ 583U Ijr, SODIIKM!. liLMi,I./.i I i|-,n^Hi I;'.' ; 'Tt D 000 766 325 5