FURTHER INDISCRETIONS A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE BY THE SAME AUTHOR MEMORIES DISCREET AND INDISCREI T ILLUSTRATED, $5.00 NET E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY NEW YORK Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch During the Wood V. Cox Case (From the original) FURTHER INDISCRETIONS BY A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE ILLUSTRATED N,EW YORK E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY 681 FIFTH AVENUE Copyright, 1918, By E. P. DUTTON & COMPANY All Rights Reserved Printed in the* United States of America CONTENTS CHAPTER I Beautiful Women of the Eighties — Mrs. Langtry as a Girl — The Dean of Jersey Fights Some Neighbours — Mr. Abingdon Baird — At a Dinner Party — His "Damned Lawyers" — Mrs. Langtry on the Stage — A Cruel Riddle — The Marquess of Hastings — His ' ' Pocket Venus ' ' — Donington of Yesterday and To-day — Runaway German Prisoners — Captured — The Late Colonel North's Picture Gallery — Durham and Chetwynd Row — Wood versus Cox — Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch in Court — Sir George Chetwynd — The Jubilee Plunger— Some Bets i CHAPTER II Dr. Godson's Deal with an Earl — What He Did with His Fees — His Words with the Dowager Lady Lonsdale — Dr. West's Idea of Tact — Lord Lister Mends Some Broken Bones — Au- thor Introduces Him to Sir Monier Williams — Anaesthetics in Pharaoh's Time — Sir William Jenuer and His Son — Sir Wil- liam Visits the King — Sir James Paget 's Views of Duty — Dr. Wilkie Collins in Trouble — Some Awkward Moments — A Country Practitioner's Goodness — His Reward — Dr. Yorke- Davies and the Prince of Wales (King Edward VII) — The Prince Has Tea with the Author — Meets with a Slight Acci- dent — Sir Maurice Fitzgerald — Cardinal Vaughan Mistaken for Someone Else — The Fate of Dr. Lavis of Beaulieu . . 28 CHAPTER III I Make a List of People's Kinks — And Lose It — Lord Exmouth's Peculiarities — A Dinner with a Professor — His Feelings Are Hurt— A Colonel Gets Kicked— A Tactful Official's Untactful Wife — A Lady with a Religious Mania — She Speaks Her Mind in Church — An Organ-Grinder Viscount — Lord Poulett's Dream — Some Varieties of Fabricators 54 CHAPTER IV The Tempers of Sporting People—" Heel-Tap " Days in the North- umberland Yeomanry — Mr. Carnaby Forster as Master of the Ledbury— His Hunt Servants' Awe of Him— Lady Mary Hamilton's Popularity — The Duke of Hamilton's Cure for Gout — The Duke at Oxford, His Generous Nature— Starts a Money-lending Business — Why He Relinquished It — The Grand National of 1867— A Bet the Night Before— How He vi CONTENTS PAGE Paid It — A Mistake over a Horse's Weight at Newmarket — His Grace's Sporting Garments — One of His Favourite Jock- eys — The Duke Gives Custance a Present of a Horse — It Ob- jects to Physic and Custance Has to Hide— The Duke's Harri- ers at Easton— A Favourite Horse Named "Safe Coach" — He Carries a Foreign Guest Who Does Not Enjoy His Ride — The Duke's Generosity to a Sporting Parson — A West Coun- try Master's Eccentricities— The Health of a Welsh M.F.H.— A Little Tragedy in the Hunting Field 75 CHAPTER V Mr. Corney Grain at Home and Elsewhere — He and Captain Beaumont Perpetrate a Joke — With the Fire Brigade in Southwark Bridge Road — An Accident to Captain Beaumont — A Labouchere and Lawson Row — How It Ended — Mr. Labouchere at Home — How He Treated a Guest — Asked Why He Called His Paper Truth — His Reply — After-dinner Tableaux — Mr. Augustus Harris Personates Royalty — Mr. Corney Grain as "Rags and Chatters" — A Mock Court- Martial — Execution Effected on a Princeling — Mr. Joseph Chamberlain as I Knew Him — In a Toy-shop — Fond of Chil- dren — Letty Lind and Her "Wages" — Marion Hood and Her Hair 96 CHAPTER VI A Long-forgotten Law Case — An Anomalous Finding — A Mock Marriage — Ruin — The Attitude of the Church — Reparation, Too Late — Sudden Death and a Suicide — Lord Cathcart Goes Lame, Explains the Reason — Lord Greenock Admires the Fair Sex — Lady Sykes' Peculiarities — Contretemps at a Dinner Party — She Drives White Donkeys Tandem — Sir Tat- ton Sykes and His Greatcoats — Mr. Glynn Vivian Objects to Coloured Grasses and Locks up the Silver — Lady Caroline Maddon and Her Daughter — A Search for Eligible Young Men — An After-dinner Recitation 122 CHAPTER VII The Duchess of Montrose — Her Three Husbands — Pigeon Shoot- ing at Hurlingham — Queen Victoria's Veto — The Duchess Has a Toss — She Speaks Her Mind — The Prince of Wales an Eye-witness — The Prince Tries to Avoid a Racing Rum- pus — Too Late — Some Curious Betting Transactions — The Duchess Expresses Her Opinion of Women — Women's Clubs — Why They Are Not More Successful — Some Soap-lifters 142 CHAPTER VIII Some Racing Ladies — Stakes Given to the Red Cross Fund — Prince Soltykoff a Faithful Friend — Lord Alfred Paget Patron of the Theatre — Queen Alexandra's Interest in Racing — Her Sympathy and Enjoyment of a Joke — In Her Home at Sand- ringham — The Fatigue of Ladies-in- Waiting — Lady Maccles- CONTENTS vii PAGE field and Bishop Wilberforce — Lady Ely Asked Her Favour- ites at Court — The German Emperor at Osborne — Queen Victoria and John Brown — The Duke of Connaught's Early Speech-making — Mr. Bolckow the Duke's Host at Marton — Starving Amidst Plenty — A Tactful Host 160 CHAPTER IX Some of the Author's Loves — Old Joseph and His Ewe-Lamb — Homeless Ruben Stride — His Temperament and Philosophy — Brusher Mills, the Snake Charmer — His Home-made Abode — A Temple of Romance — A Storehouse of Treasures — A Lovish Baptist Minister — His Love Letter — Author's Van- ity Receives a Rude Shock — Her Successor 177 CHAPTER X Prom My Sketch Book — Some Brilliant Conversationalists — Host- esses and Fascinating Women — Curious Proceedings During a Divorce Case — Sir Eyre Shaw Decollete — Peculiarities of the Late Duchess of Cleveland — An Historic House in Grafton Street — Mr. A. J. Balfour Reviews Himself as Undergraduate and Prime Minister — He Does Not Love the Crowd — Colonel Burn, King's Messenger — His Farewell Bouquet — Major Slade's Many Fiancees — The Maharajah of Cooch Behar — As Sportsman, Ruler, and Ladies' Man — A Sikh Gentleman's Disgust — Sir Charles Monro's Views of What is Good for India — The Prime Minister of Rewar Wants Something but Does Not Get It — Prince Bismarck and the Author— A Curious Introduction x 93 CHAPTER XI The Waterloo Ball — Lady Sophia Cecil Revisits Goodwood — Lady de Ros Buckles on the Duke of Wellington's Sword — Lady Sophia's Christmas Dinner— The "Poor Yellow Puppy!"— A Fishing Expedition — An Exciting Drive — Tea with the Minister — His Housekeeper is Piqued with Him — A Struggle with a Salmon— Cawnpore as It Was— A Drive in a Bullock Cart— A Thieving Crow— Sir Owen Burne— Pained with the Duke of Cambridge — Some Appointments — Sir Owen's Den —His Difficulties with the Shah of Persia— Lord Shaftesbury Scolding— A Contretemps between Bishop and Prize-fighters at Buckingham Palace 2I1 CHAPTER XII The Pantechnicon on Fire— Caught in the Crowd— Unpleasant Experiences— A Goat to the Rescue— Another Alarm on Board Ship; Nearly Wrecked— A Calcutta Merchant Loses His Head— Author Helps Him to Save His Soul— King Ed- ward VII's Coronation— A Long Wait— The Procession- Archbishop of Canterbury Overtired— The King Helps Him— The King Kisses His Son— Emotional Moments— A Funeral at Sea— Some Love Affairs— How They Were Arranged— One viii CONTENTS PAGE of the Saddest Sights in Life — A General and His Son Aspire to the Hand of Same Lady — Bishop Warburton's Views of Life 330 CHAPTER XIII The Marquess of Queensberry Has a Row with a Pugilist — What Sir Claude de Crespigny Thought of Him — A Row on a Race- course — A Friend for Life — A Long Ride — Breeches and Boots Cut Off — The Queensberry Rules Drawn up by Some- one Else — A Steeplechase on Foot with Fred Cotton — A Swim in the Night — Journey Minus Clothes — Ferryman's Surprise — Lady Queensberry — England Going to the Dogs — Some Capable Women — The First Duke of Westminster — Some of His Race-horses — A Tragedy — And a Rumpus — Lord Bramp- ton to the Rescue — Some of the Duke's Economies — "Or- monde" at a Garden Party 245 CHAPTER XIV The Late Earl of Guildford — Has a Difference with Civic Officials — Curious Racing Arrangements — A Scared Showman — Twelfth Earl of Winchelsea Makes Friends with Moses — Lord Bulwer Lytton — His Appearance — Work — And Treatment of His Wife— A Story of His Son— The Rev. E. Burnaby and the Late Marquess of Exeter — A Primrose Ball — "The Ruffian" — Mr. Burnaby Falls Out with Lord Kainnaird — What They Said — A Little Faux-pas in "The House" — Arthur Orton's Tichborne Signature — His Promises — Gives Himself Away — ■ Mr. Hawkins Changes His Mind — Lord Brampton in Court and on the Race-course — Lady Harborough's Complacency — Mr. Burnaby at Longleat — Prays for Departed King — Guinea-pig Jack — An Exciting Drive — Lord Beaconsfield — In His Bath — His Wife's Advice — His Last Moments — His Rudeness — Mr. Coningsby Disraeli 263 CHAPTER XV Victor Hugo on Our Judicial System — Sir Howard Vincent and Sir Fitzjames Stephens' Opinions — "Apple-pip Kelly" Goes to Make Love — Lord Chief Justice Tindal Is Funny — A Bombay Official Makes an Ass of Himself — A Prudish Man Doing War Work — A Nurse Teases Him — Poking Fun at Authorities and Result — A Youthful Bride in Zeppelin Raid — A Bigwig's Views on Duty — Chummy Canadians and Their Colonel — A Puzzling Accent — General Sir Julian Byng on the Dardanelles Question — Mr. Labouchere Wanted — Mr. Gibson Bowles Busy in "The House" 285 CHAPTER XVI Some Celebrated Women — Lady Ely, Lady Molesworth and Skit- ties — The Prince of Wales — Lady Molesworth and Paddy Green at Evans' Supper Rooms — A Row in the Quorn Coun- try—Skittles Has the Last Word— Belgravian Mother's La- CONTENTS ix ment — Lady Stamford, Girton, and Robert Peck — Lady Car- digan Is Surprising — Mrs. Postlethwaite and Her Friends — Mr. Gladstone and Beaconsfield — She Gives Him the Kiss of Peace — No Old Ladies — Sad Memories — Three First-class Misdemeanants — Holloway Jail — Flora Annie Steel and Helen Mathers — Their Writings — A Dunce or Two — Differ- ent Etiquettes — The Rev. Evelyn Burnaby and Mrs. Whyte- Melville — He Prescribes for Her 301 CHAPTER XVII General Macbean and His Royal Playmates — A Sporting Essex Baronet and a Neighbouring Peer — A Difference of Opinion — Uninvited Wedding Guests — Shopping Under Difficulties — Mr. Graham Gilmour — Some of His Prophecies — How They Were Fulfilled — In Trouble with the Aero Club— A Clergy- man's Curious Attitude — A Fatal Accident — Trophy-laden Officers — " Chauff eurines " — Their Work, Food, and Some Experiences — A Changed World — H.H. Prince Alexis Dol- gorouki and His Bride — A Dolgorouki for the Russian Throne — Prince Charlie at Braemar Castle 320 CHAPTER XVIII General Sir Francis and Lady Lloyd — Lord D'Abernon Hard at Work in Egypt — The Rev. George Wilkinson in Eaton Square — His Principles and a Royal Command — A Naughty Clergy- man — Ate His Poultices — The Duchess of Devonshire's Ball — People Still Paying the Bills — Madame de Falbe at Luton Hoo — One of Her Guests and a Comforter — An Official View of Lord Kitchener's Conduct versus the Author's — An Offi- cial's View of Sir Ian Hamilton's Work — Sir Charles Douglas Lectures Sir Ian Hamilton — Mothers of Men 339 ILLUSTRATIONS Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch during the Wood v. Cox Case Frontispiece TO FACE PAGE Mrs. Langtry 8 The Late Marquess of Hastings Explaining His Betting Book to his Bride 14. Donnington Hall 18 Sir George Chetwynd of Newmarket Heath 24 Sir William Jenner 34 Sir James Paget 36 Dr. Nathaniel Yorke-Davies 46 The Sixth Earl Poulett 68 The Twelfth Duke of Hamilton 78 Mr. Corney Grain 98 Mr. Inderwick, Q.C 108 Sir Augustus Harris no The Third Earl Cathcart 134 The Duchess of Montrose 142 The Earl of Coventry 148 Lady Nelson 160 Reuben Stride, a Nineteenth-Century Philosopher . . 182 Brusher Mills of the New Forest J 86 Brusher Mills' Home in the New Forest 188 Sir William Harcourt in his Young Days 200 Sir William Harcourt as A " Retired Leader " .... 202 The Maharajah of Cooch Behar 2 °4 The Well at Cawnpore; photographed during the Mutiny 220 xi xii ILLUSTRATIONS TO FACE PAGE The Eighth Marquess of Queensberry 246 The Rev. Evelyn Burnaby 272 The Claimant's Letter, taken from the Original . . . 274 Mr. Graham Gilmour 3 2 4 H.H. Prince Alexis Dolgorouki 334 H.H. Princess Alexis Dolgorouki 336 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS CHAPTER I Beautiful Women of the Eighties — Mrs. Langtry as a Girl — The Dean of Jersey Fights Some Neighbours — Mr. Abingdon Baird — At a Dinner Party — His "Damned Lawyers" — Mrs. Langtry on the Stage — A Cruel Riddle — The Marquess of Hastings — His Pocket Venus — Don- ington of Yesterday and To-day — Runaway German Prisoners — Captured — The Late Colonel North's Picture Gallery — Durham and Chetwynd Row — Wood versus Cox — Sir Frank Lockwood's Sketch in Court — Si George Chetwynd — The Jubilee Plunger — Some Bets. I HAVE made a discovery! To write a book is in itself injudicious, but when you call it, as I did, Memories Discreet and Indiscreet, by a Woman of no Importance, it becomes a blazing indiscretion. My friends cavil at my nom de guerre and my discretion, and in return I have tried to meet their wishes. It is from the unknown that the greatest sur- prises spring. Amongst the shoal of letters my book has brought me there are many of kindness, others of reproach from those who were omitted 2 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS and think they should have been included (although they do not know even who I am). Others who complain that while discretion is the better part of valour it should have no place in Memories. They expected apparently "confessions" — stories, that would shake the thrones of Europe — such as are left: anecdotes about celebrities via the butlers' pantry and the back-stairs. It seems to be the general opinion that the word Discreet and what it stands for is superfluous and, in consequence, I have left it out. I have striven to compose my little concerts in the brighter keys. Each successive generation thinks there never has been and never will be such soldiers, sailors, actors, actresses, and beautiful women again as they have seen in their day. We grew impatient with our old folk when they told us there were none to compare with the people of their time, and lo! in the autumn of our days we say exactly what they did, and no doubt we shall be ridiculed in much the same way as we ridiculed our elders and betters. History has a way of repeating itself. For instance, I feel sure that never again will there be so many beautiful women as there were in the eighties ; certainly I have seen nothing at the present time to compare with the "Professional Beauties," as they were called. Mrs. Langtry's name was at one time on every- body's lips, and her photograph in many shop win- dows, on every hand we heard of her beauty, charming manners and other stories. Her golden FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 3 brown hair, violet-blue eyes and classic features surmounting a perfect neck and shoulders, threw up by contrast the dark-haired, sad and pathetic brown eyed Mrs. Wheeler the more striking. Mrs. Brown-Potter, Mrs. R. Webster, Mrs. Cornwallis West were also "professional beauties" at that time. The latter was perhaps the most dis- creet, as she was seldom seen without her husband, as often as not leaning on his arm. She was immensely admired about the time I was married. Lord Rossmore writing from Ire- land to a friend said he had been in a seventh heaven at a ball the night before as Mrs. Corn- wallis West had condescended to dance with him. Indeed, he had been so happy that he had failed to notice the floor was empty, and not until he had col- lided with another couple did he become aware they were the Princess of Wales and her partner. The fact that she was dancing of course accounted for the emptiness of the floor. Many years later, when Mrs. West's daughters had grown up and married, she drove over with them from Newlands, their place in Hampshire overlooking the Solent, to spend a Sunday after- noon at Milford-on-Sea, which Colonel West had turned into a popular resort for holiday makers by building villas. They decided to have tea at an hotel there, and while it was being prepared, Princess Henry of Pless and the Duchess of West- minster climbed down to the sea and began to paddle, calling to their mother on top of the cliff 4 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS to take off her shoes and stockings and follow their example. The hotel proprietor was much incensed at this unSabbath-like conduct, and made audible remarks about cheap-trippers being bad for the hotel until he found out who his visitors were. Then his Sabbath-like feelings underwent a change. He at once became servile and crawling. Truly one may steal a horse and another must not look at it over the wall. Another handsome woman of that time was Louise Duchess of Manchester. What astonishing stories there used to be flying about; but, being a personage, even the very straight-laced thought it wise to be charming to her face. The late Lady Bessborough, however, was the exception that proves the rule, and one day as she drove through Great Stanhope Street she espied the Duchess at one of her windows waving a white pocket hand- kerchief at her. Lady Bessborough kept her moral head erect, pretending she did not see, but man- aging to observe everything perfectly all the same. When she alighted from her carriage she re- marked in what I think was a most undignified manner to her footman, "Robert, was that (searching for some words severe enough) wicked Duchess waving at me!" But far and away more beautiful in my eyes than any of these were Georgina Countess of Dudley, the Duchess of Leinster, and Gladys Lady Lons- dale, the latter beautiful as a picture in her youth, FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 5 but if possible more beautiful as Lady Ripon with her picturesque white hair. It is not given to all of us to be beautiful in our youth, but I think it is our own faults if we are not beautiful in our old age, when time and experience have taught us to cease striving after the impossible, when we no longer kick against the pricks, but fold our hands with faces towards the setting sun, "glad we came, nor sorry to depart," waiting pa- tiently for the Great Audit, not with hope, for that has died, nor with fear, that also has died, but with calm content, knowing we have worked out our salvation here through storm, tempest and bitter tears. I remember Mrs. Langtry as a girl in Jersey. She was older than I and I looked up to her with some of the respect I reserved for any grown-ups or playmates bigger than myself. Her name was not Lily at all, but Emily Charlotte le Breton, daughter of the Very Reverend the Dean of Jersey, a man with a great appreciation of beauty in the fair sex. One year when we were wintering in Jersey for my mother's health, though I was only eight years old at the time, I remember a number of people who visited my parents, the De Carterets, Pipons, le Bretons, de Saumerez, Hemerys, Knatchbulls, etc. The Dean of Jersey was a great ladies' man. He used to come often to our church in St. Heliers and sit in our pew in order to admire and hear sing a very handsome Mrs. Knatchbull, who sat in front 6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS of us. Her voice was beautiful and cultivated. There was also a Mrs. de Saumerez he greatly ad- mired, whose pew was somewhere near. The hus- band of this lady was a certain well-known admiral (he may have been a lord, I have forgotten) de Saumerez, possessed of a violent and ungovernable temper and exceedingly jealous. It was almost as much as a man's life was worth to look at his wife. Colonel Knatchbull also was jealous, but did not show it in so pronounced a manner. Neither of these husbands accompanied their wives to church, but came to meet them when the service was over. One Sunday as we came out from, what I con- sidered a long and tedious service, we found the devoted husbands waiting outside the church, and we all proceeded down the rather narrow path to the main road. The Dean was walking with Mrs. Knatchbull, my father and Mr. Pipon one on each side of Mrs. de Saumerez, all of us more or less grouped together and the conversation fairly gen- eral. Suddenly Colonel Knatchbull struck the Dean and told him he was something-something, and he would not have him dancing about his wife making eyes at her. In a minute there was a free fight, for Admiral de Saumerez joined in, saying; yes, it was disgraceful the way the Dean made ladies conspicuous. He had been observing it for some time. I was so frightened I climbed up a wall dividing the churchyard from the highroad from St. Heliers to St. Aubins. From this point of vantage I observed a curious FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 7 thing happen. The row had begun by Colonel Knatchbull scolding and striking the Dean, but suddenly the cleric was left out in the cold, when the two irate husbands, for some reason I did not hear or understand, fell upon one another, the Admiral jumping up and down with passion, hit- ting above the belt, below the belt, and any acces- sible place, while in return his face was well pounded. The womenkind held on to the coat tails of the fighting men and, with the help of my father and Mr. Pipon, separated them while they con- tinued shouting something about blood and pistols. It was only through the endeavours and influ- ence of the Governor of the island, de Carteret by name, that a duel was averted between the Dean and Colonel Knatchbull in the first place, and the two irate husbands in the second. When Admiral de Saumerez became angry, which was not infrequent, all in his vicinity trem- bled in their shoes, for there was no knowing what he would do. I remember hearing my people talk- ing a good deal about this row and others in con- nection with the Admiral. My father said he had at times seen the Admiral running along the road from sheer temper, talking loudly to himself and gesticulating as he ran. After this row peace reigned for a while, or per- haps I should say armed neutrality was the order of the day. When Mrs. Langtry first arrived in England she was a very quiet, unpresuming little person, 8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS but her beauty and fascinating manners turned the heads of everybody, both men and women. I have seen them standing on chairs in the Park to get a glimpse of her. Her life would be a wonderful story if it were ever written. High and low ad- mired her, the Prince of Wales, Lord Dudley, Mr. Abingdon Baird, and heaps more. A man of great wealth and a certain position, Mr. Baird had become mixed up with an undesir- able crowd consisting of the rag-tag and bob-tail of the ring and race-course. Mrs. Langtry, Sir Frederick Johnstone, and his cousin Mr. Douglas Baird tried to wean him from his unlovely friends. This process included charming dinner parties, at which the reluctant Mr. Abingdon Baird met high- born and refined ladies, whose charms and cultured minds were calculated to lure him from his dis- approved companions and perhaps turn his mind to higher thoughts. Everybody had to admit it was uphill work, as Mr. Baird was very difficult to awaken to "culture." At one of these dinners a very high-browed dame sitting next to him tried to draw Mr. Baird into conversation. He had looked unutterably bored throughout the greater part of the dinner. She began : "Do you like music?" "No," grunted Mr. Baird, shaking his head and not lifting his eyes from his plate. "Then perhaps you have not been to the opera lately?" Mrs. Langtry FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 9 An impatient shake of the head. "But you should really, Madame Trebelli Bertini is wonderful! Have you never heard her?" "No and don't want to. Have yon ever heard Bessie Belwood?" Sir Frederick Johnstone sighed and said, "Hope- less !" Poor Mr. Baird was a rough diamond, but a great admirer of the Jersey Lily, as Mrs. Langtry was called, but I do not think he liked the way she tried to keep him from prize-fighting. In the spring of 1893 Mr. Abingdon Baird, in company with his friend Charles Mitchell, the pugi- list, left this country for America. Mitchell had been matched to fight James J. Corbett, but it did not come off until January, 1894, Mitchell getting the worst of the contest. "The Squire" was, how- ever, present at a battle between Bob Fitzsimmons and Jim Hall at New Orleans, in March, 1893, where he caught a chill and died of pneumonia in that city ten days later. Before he started his solicitors, Messrs. Lumley and Lumley, persuaded him to make a will, add a codicil or some such thing, I do not know exactly what, but as soon as his solicitors had gone he rang his bell and sent for one of his chosen friends and particular pals, who arrived to find Mr. Baird sitting at his writing- table holding his head and looking very miserable. His pal (I am not sure it was not his valet), asked, "What's up, Squire?" this being always what his intimates called him. "Oh, those damned lawyers io FURTHER INDISCRETIONS have been here and made me sign something I know nothing about. / don't know what the devil it's all about." Then seizing a large silver inkstand he flung it at the head of his interrogator, saying, 'To hell with the lot of you!" The man ducked, but the inkstand hit him in the eye and continued its flight through a mirror at the end of the room. The portion of injured eye was paid for by a ten-pound note. I saw Mrs. Langtry when she made her first ap- pearance on the English stage, under the guidance and management of Mrs. Bancroft. This was in 1 88 1. She took the part of Kate Hardcastle in "She Stoops to Conquer." We were all greatly disappointed with her at first on the stage; she looked insignificant and not particularly good looking. We could not under- stand what had happened to her. Later we dis- covered the reason. She would not paint her face and make up as all are bound to do for the stage. In consequence, under the glaring and trying light on the stage she looked absolutely colourless. It is easy to understand she did not wish to spoil her beautiful skin, but she found it was a necessity to get up in the ordinary and approved fashion of theatrical people. I never thought her a great actress. There was rather a cruel riddle in vogue in the '8o's: "What is the difference between Madame Modjeska and Mrs. Langtry? — the answer being: "One is a Pole and the other a Stick!" FURTHER INDISCRETIONS n The most wonderful acting I ever saw was that of Sarah Bernhardt in "Fedora," in Paris. Her voice alone in the love scene as she cooed on the sofa was enough to coax the birds off the trees, and in the poison scene was painfully marvellous. I remember the theatre was very hot, and there were two or three in our box, and as I felt rather faint the door was opened, but an attendant at once came and closed it, saying the light scene through the door would be annoying to madame on the stage. The attendant was told through the closed door that there was a lady in the box who did not feel very well and wished to go out. The attendant was adamant and suggested it would be quite all right if the lady fainted on the floor, and when the scene was over they would come and fetch her ! This conversation was carried on in the tini- est whispers with many "sh's," but the door was locked on the outside. Under the circumstances I refused to faint. Not feeling very well rather spoilt the evening's pleasure for me, but I have never forgotten Sarah's acting, and I think the theatre authorities are quite right to consider the actors and actresses in every possible way. Such a little thing might throw them out of their stride, besides movements and noise are exceedingly annoying to those who are enjoying every little movement and every word on the stage. I was at the opera in London the night Madame Adelina Patti appeared after the Nicolini episode. The house was cram full and large prices had been 12 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS paid for boxes. When she appeared no doubt ex- pecting her usual ovation, there was a silence that was oppressive. I felt the tears rising to my eyes with grief for her, but after looking in what might have been bewilderment round the house for a moment she sang as no other that I have ever heard could sing, ''Home, Sweet Home." She had touched the right chord; the house be- came hysterical, and the kind Prince of Wales leaned over his box and handed to her a bouquet, which she folded in her arms and laid her head amongst the flowers for a moment overcome with gratitude and emotion. I always feel glad I did not miss that night. It was such a triumph the way she appealed to her audience and won their hearts against their wills, I might almost say, for many had gone simply to see how she would be received, and with prudish and fault-finding minds and intentions. She cast them all to the winds and brought tears to the«eyes of many. I have wandered away again from Mrs. Langtry in a very reprehensible manner. She appeared on the stage in America in 1887, somebody told me the other day, I had not heard it before. When first she had acquired wealth enough to begin racing, she ran her horses under the name of Mr. Jersey, and then, as now, had the same delicate turquoise and fawn hoops and turquoise cap against her name in the calendar. The best horse she ever owned was the Australian "Mer- FURTHER INDISCRETIONS i man," who won her the Goodwood Cup in 1899 and Ascot Cup in 1900, three years after he had won the Caesarevitch as a birthday present for her. Of course at Newmarket she had showers of congratulations, but the Ascot triumph was the Red Letter Day of her life, although she was not present on that occasion, and strangely, the fol- lowing year Mr. George Edwards brought off another stage victory with his favourite and best horse, "San Toy." Mrs. Langtry held views of her own on the art of training. Some of them who trained for her got unmercifully chaffed about their lady employer. Pickering, for instance, was one day going to sad- dle a horse at one of the race meetings, and as he happened to have on a straw hat with a neat bow at the side, someone wishing to be funny, called out, "Did the missus trim your hat?" I always admired the way Mrs. Langtry con- ducted her racing. She was never loud and was seldom if ever seen alone in a paddock; if she went down to see a horse saddled she always had a suit- able escort. After Mr. Langtry's death, the Jersey Lily mar- ried Sir Hugh Gerald De Bathe in 1899, and now races under that name. In spite of Mrs. Langtry's endeavours to wean Mr. Abingdon Baird from his prize-fighting, he died as already stated in America from a chill caught after taking part in one of these entertain- ments. At his death his lawyers and his mother 14 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS had a tremendous task in settling up his affairs. There were claims running into many thousands. One man, who had been promised £5000 for cer- tain services rendered, eventually accepted £3000. This case and others were to have been decided in the High Court, but Mr. Baird's mother, like all good mothers, could not bear the idea of having her son's name dragged through the mud, and ex- pressed her wish to pay everything. In consequence of this, and with the judge's permission, the court was relieved of the hearing. It is sad that the faithful friend of man should lead so many into trouble. I do not like to re- member all my old friends who have gone under through racing, not that I mean to infer it is the fault of the horses; they generally do their best to please us. It is man's own silly fault when he comes to grief. At the moment I am thinking of poor Lord Hastings, whom I never knew, as he died before my time, but whose beautiful wife I did know. They called her the "Pocket Venus," and many are the stories she told of that weak but exceedingly generous man who planned out his life for pleasure that proved so short lived. He was the fourth Marquess, born in 1842. In 1864 he married Lady Florence Paget. The marriage caused a great sensation at the time, for she was engaged to Mr. Chaplain, now Lord Chaplain, and had gone with him to do some shopping at Mar- shall and Snelgrove's well-known shop in Oxford Street, where women's garments and fal-lals are to A he Late Marquess of Hastings Explaining his Betting Book to his Bride FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 15 be found in all their latest styles. While Mr. Chap- lin was walking up and down outside one entrance waiting for his fiancee, she departed from another in the brougham of Lord Hastings, which was awaiting her and was married at St. George's, Hanover Square. Altogether a most romantic affair. It is, of course, an old story now, but some of the present generation may not know about it, and be interested. It was later, when the wife of Sir George Chetwynd of Grendon, that I knew her. She married him in 1870. I first met her in 1885. If the life of Lady Chetwynd, or Lady Hastings, as she was still called by many, were written it would be thrilling. She lived through some great experiences, many of them pitiful, others exciting and occasionally triumphant, but the pitiful pre- dominated. Her second matrimonial venture was not entirely a success. Her husband became heavily involved financially, and found himself more than once in hot water over his racing transactions, but to that I shall refer later. After the runaway marriage with Lord Hast- ings, Donnington Hall became the home of the "Pocket Venus." The picture of Lord Hastings on the sofa explaining his betting book to his newly- made wife was taken at Donnington and has never before been published as far as I know. It is a good likeness of Lady Hastings, allowing for the old- 16 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS fashioned style of dress, and she considered it a most faithful likeness of her husband. There are wonderful histories attached to Don- nington Hall; of cock-fights, racing and midnight revelry in which most of the sporting people of that day took part, Pulsford Hobson, Peter Wilkinson and the Duke of Hamilton amongst others. From all I hear I doubt if the revelry in those early years of Lady Hastings' life with the gambler have ever been equalled. One night after dinner one of Lord Hastings' (or "Harry" as his intimates called him) jockeys, named Jim Grimshaw, who was a very light weight, was, amidst much uproar, put upon the dining- table and made to dance a hornpipe. Poor Lord Hastings' racing was meteoric, six years was the outside. He registered his colours, red and white hoops and white cap, in 1862, and died in 1868. Harry Hill and Padwick the money- lenders, were his financiers and wire-pullers. He was firmly in their grip when he married Lady Florence Paget. I am afraid her husband was very extravagant and very weak, but he was straight- forward and made the mistake of believing what he was told, which naturally led to his early undoing, added to which he could not resist betting. When sitting in a railway carriage he would bet on the drops running down the window, or which fly would feast first on a lump of sugar at tea. It was alto- gether hopeless. Donnington, now occupied by the German FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 17 prisoners of war, is by no means of noble structure, but a barrack-like building, its chief notable feature being the four columns or turrets standing above the entrance to the house, but its surroundings are spacious and suitable for its present purpose. I wonder what the barbed-wire cost? Thousands were I know spent on laying electric wire into the house. The questions that have been asked, judging by the Blue Book, in connection with the cost of the upkeep of that place, food provided, etc., paid for out of us poor tax-payers' pockets are many and sensational. Considering the shortage of food, how do they get the good things they are receiving? Speaking of food reminds me of the time when, after much debate and palaver, the price of potatoes was fixed at one penny half-penny (i^d.) per pound at a time when there were none to be bought, and also reminds me of the orders issued that all game is to be shot — no more preserv- ing — and at the same time people are allowed no ammunition to shoot them. We shall have to sally forth with salt to put on their tails and catch them that way! It is all very strange! Lord Hastings won some big races with his horses, including the Grand Prix de Paris, the Ascot Derby, with a horse called "The Earl," and three hours later the same afternoon the Ascot Bienniel with the same horse. The "coup" of his racing career was achieved when his good little horse "Lecturer" won the Caesarevitch in 1866. But no winning could compensate him for his losses 18 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS when they were in such colossal sums as one hun- dred thousand pounds over the Derby of 1867, and eighty thousand pounds on the Derby the fol- lowing year. He died very shortly after this, having been in bad health for some time. He had burnt his candle in too many places at once, but he was exceedingly generous, hospitable, and no man's enemy but his own. It was all very sad and no one could help feeling sorry for him. Tempera- ment, which is bestowed upon us without our hav- ing a voice in the matter, has much to answer for. The Meteoric Marquis was for two seasons Master of the Ouorn, and the erratic conduct that characterised his term of office was rather aptly described in some verses, generally supposed to have been written by the late Lord Rosslyn, to the tune of the once popular ballad "Who can tell?" "When will the Marquis come? Who can tell? Half-past twelve or half-past one? Who can tell? Is he sober, is he drunk? Nipping like Myneheer von Dunk? Will he ride or will he funk? Who can tell? Shall we have to wait again? Who can tell? In the wind and in the rain ? W r ho can tell ? While the Marquis snug and warm, In the hall where toadies swarm, Leaves us to the pelting storm? Who can tell? Where he'll draw by way of a lark, who can tell? Gartree Hill or Bradgate Park? Who can tell? Sport regarding as a jest, which will suit his fancy best? North or south or east or west? Who can tell? X c £ c o Q FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 19 Where, oh where ! rings Tailby's horn? Who can tell? Why came I with this cursed Quorn? Who can tell? Marquis, this is not a race, Can you look me in the face And declare you like the chase? Who can tell?" About the same time a clever sketch appeared in the old Sporting Gazette. It represented a fine old dog fox stealing away from covert with Lord Wil- ton and the Marquis of Hastings looking on. It was called "A Critical Moment" and the former was saying, "Now, Harry, blow away, we shall have it all to ourselves." To which the other replies, "It's d d fine to say blow away, but if I do I shall be sick!" Ha! ha ! ha ! It caused a great deal of amusement in the shires and the entire issue of the paper was sold out in a few hours. The Sporting Times had an obituary notice on Lord Hastings under the heading of "The Spider and the Fly." Before leaving the subject of Lord Hastings and his home, Donnington Hall, I should like to ask if anybody knows what has become of the cups he won with his more important races, the Ascot, Goodwood and Doncaster cups to wit? He died without an heir and hopelessly in debt. I should like to know what became of the objects he so greatly prized. I also wonder if the rich German officer named interned at Donnington will take a fancy to the 20 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS place and wish to buy it at the end of hostilities? While I have been writing this book we have had some escaped German prisoners across this property (not Donnington or its neighbourhood). They have been captured a few miles from here. An officer who was riding a motorcycle spotted the two men in the last stage of exhaustion, having tramped some thirty miles if they had come as the crow flies, which naturally they had not, having to dodge about in hiding, which had taken them the best part of a week. The moment the cyclist saw the men he guessed who they were and noticed their accent as they asked their way. He allowed them to continue in the direction he had suggested to them, and seeing a car coming along the road stopped it, asking the occupant to go post haste to the next village and inform the police and ask them to come at once. It so happened that the man in the car was the head dairyman at the Home Farm here on the property where I live. He was on his way to see a soldier son at a South Coast hospital some forty miles away. He at once dashed off, the police were soon on the spot, and before many hours passed the men were captured, offering no resist- ance. Considering their exhausted condition I wonder the khaki-clad cyclist did not capture them, but no doubt discretion is the greater part of valour. This place where I am writing is an ideal spot for any runaway to hide in. I have been wonder- ing what I should do one day if in our at present (during war time) unused garages and stables I FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 21 come across some German prisoners hiding. It would be my duty, I suppose, to give them up to justice, but I fear my inclinations would be to give them something to eat and drink and then ask them to "move on" policeman fashion. I should be un- able to help putting myself in their place. I should so hate to be caught and think anybody who gave me away and denounced me such a sneaky skunk. Probably I should be murdered for my pains, but two skunks would not make my action any less skunkish ! Those who have seen that famous picture of Frith's entitled "The Road to Ruin," which was de- picted in four scenes, will perhaps have recognised in the Ascot scene some faces amongst those figur- ing on the canvas, that of Lord Hastings, for instance, as the person betting over the rails with the bookmakers. The picture (the original I think) eventually found its way into the picture gallery of the late Colonel North (who was generally known as the "Nitrate King") at Eltham. It struck me it might have been an unlucky purchase, for I have heard conflicting accounts and theories of his death. Some suggested his nitrates had died out and that he was in financial difficulties? against that I am told he left by will £263,000 net and ^575» 000 gross, which does not sound as if he was in any embarrassment. He was considered extravagant, but with that fortune why should he not be, especially when I know as a matter of fact that he befriended a num- 22 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS ber of people, helping them financially. Some are living now, and most ungrateful I have considered them. He was a kind-hearted little man who knew nothing about pictures, little about racehorses, and perhaps little about nitrates. If I remember rightly, it was to Lady Randolph Churchill he told the story of having bought a most beautiful painting in oils. When asked the subject he replied, "That I do not know, but it is twelve feet by eight." At least that is how the story goes. At the end of his picture gallery stood an almost life-size portrait of himself in the uniform of the E'tham Yeomanry. He was exceedingly proud of this picture which had been painted by Philips, the famous portrait and animal painter. I do not think either the happiest position or dress was chosen by him, or for him. As represented in the picture, he was taken full face on horseback, the scarlet tunic combined with his rather rosy complexion was not attractive. I believe he raced more to sell his nitrates than for any pleasure he derived from the sport, much in the same way as Sir Blundel Maple raced to assist the sale of "tables and chairs," which was his nickname amongst race-goers. There are wheels within wheels in every walk of life. Sir Blundel at one time advertised in some of the sporting papers that his shop in the Tottenham Court Road was the best place for jockeys and trainers to spend their earnings ! FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 23 I must now return to the time when Lady Hastings had become the wife of Sir George Chet- wynd, and some of the awkward experiences she passed through, the Chetwynd versus Durham row being one of them. The case will be fresh in the memory of many people; it occurred in 1889. I have heard it stated that Lord Durham was steward of the Jockey Club at the time of the rum- pus, but this is quite a mistake; he was not. I heard a good deal about this affair from Mr. Jim Lowther, who endeavoured to be impartial; also from Sir George's wife, who was less impartial. Her husband claimed £20,000 damages for what he termed a "scandalous libel," which had been uttered at York by Lord Durham following a Gimcrack dinner. After many Jockey Club consultations and much litigation the verdict of one farthing damages was awarded to Sir George, each side paying its own costs, but Sir George was censured for the lighter charges which formed part of the alleged libel and exonerated from the graver. He resigned his mem- bership of the Jockey Club immediately after this. One farthing damages appears to be rather a favorite finding for wounded pride in racing dis- putes. I remembered another case where that sum was awarded, "Wood versus Cox," tried before Lord Chief Justice Coleridge and a great array of counsel, including Sir Charles Russell, afterwards Lord Russell of Killowen. This affair arose out of the Licensed Victuallers' Gazette boldly asserting 24 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS in print that Wood the jockey had "pulled" a horse he had been riding in a race, the horse in question being named "Success." I do not think Wood intended taking any notice of this, but the Jockey Club sent for him and asked him if it was true that he had pulled the horse, to which he replied, "No." Then, said the Jockey Club, you must bring an action against the paper to clear your character. Of course, there was no alternative but to go to law, which resulted in one farthing damages. During the case, while Wood was in the witness- box, the judge coaxingly asked him, "How much do you think a jockey could earn in a year?" "Ten thousand pounds, my Lord," came the answer, which caused the Judge slyly to pass a note to Sir Frank Lockwood, saying, "Don't you think we had better quit the bench and bar and turn jockeys ?" Sir Frank then set to work at once to sketch in his own inimitable style the judge in racing cap and jacket, mounted on the most miserable-looking caricature of the racehorse "Success." The frivolity of judges, counsel and even magis- trates, during moments of great anxiety of the parties concerned is, I think, rather painful. Truly what is one man's meat is another man's poison, the one poking fun and finding amusement in what may be and often are the most serious moments of the lives of plaintiff and defendant. In this case Wood claimed £5,000 damages. ci Dr. Nathaniel Yorke-Davies FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 47 short weeks at Homburg his Royal Highness lost twenty pounds, and felt miles better for it.. In 1896 the doctor again attended the Prince at Marlborough House. I remember His Royal Highness remarking to me one day that he found it very difficult to adhere strictly to the diet allowed him, saying jokingly that he was only allowed the oyster out of a mutton chop and dry toast for dinner. I said under those cir- cumstances would he condescend to dine with us as I felt sure we could provide that simple fare! As usual the Prince did not lose the opportunity of say- ing something courteous and kind, asking if he might come to tea instead as he felt it would be an insult to my cook not to be able to eat the good things for which he was so famous ; he would like to keep that pleasure in store for a time when not on a special diet. A few days later I received a note from Colonel Stanley Clarke fixing a Sunday for our little tea party; his Royal Highness arrived punctually at the hour that had been named, accompanied by Sir Maurice Fitzgerald. I have never forgotten that tea, for a dreadful thing happened. I was showing to the Prince some Indian photographs he was anxious to see. The light was not very good and I asked Sir Maurice if he would pull down a little lower the lamp sus- pended above my head. This was done, enabling us to see better, but we forgot to push it up again, so when the Prince stood up to take his departure 48 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS he bumped his head, it was a swinging lamp happily, but gave him an unpleasant blow all the same. The Prince laughed and made a joke of it, but I felt much distressed, and so did Sir Maurice Fitzgerald. The first time I met handsome Sir Maurice, with his dark dare-devil eyes, was when having tea at Cowes with the Custs, where he and Lady Sefton joined us. On our return to town he came to one of my Sunday afternoons when anybody and every- body could come who felt kindly disposed towards me. It so happened that the room was very full and I was struggling to entertain, with my rather sketchy French, dear old Rustem, Pasha, at that time (1885) Turkish Ambassador in London, so I had no time to give impressive personal greetings to everybody. As soon as I was free for a moment Sir Maurice came and sat down beside me, saying, "Am I in disgrace, you have not spoken to me all the afternoon?" I suggested that I could not well shout at him across the heads of other friends, and I would now make up for lost time by saying how pleased I was to see him, and that it was nice to feel he was there even if he could not get near enough to converse, etc. He was not quite happy even then and said, "I believe somebody has been telling tales about me; they have now, haven't they? I know someone has been telling you I am a rude, bold, bad man !" I told him of course they had, but that the story was of such old standing I had entirely recovered from the shock. FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 49 I remember the Prince saying to me the year "Persimmon" won the Derby, I think it was 1896, how he wished he were a plain Mr. Jones, and able to go to the Derby and have a little bet and be able to sneeze without having it all chronicled in the evening papers. I am told that "Persimmon" was so called after the tree of that name, which came originally from America. It is rather like the cocoa palm, the bark being tessellated like tiles all the way up. The foliage being at the extreme top, like the trees we used to find in our Noah's arks when we were children. There is a good specimen of the tree in Kew Gardens standing close to one of the temples, and the tree that was planted from the grave of the first Napoleon. Some friends were sitting near this tree one day when a 'Arry and his 'Arriet came round the corner arm in arm, and stopped in front of the tree. 'Arry scratched his head looking long and earn- estly at the name on the tree, then turning with an enlightened smile to his love said, "Well, I am blessed if they 'ave not been and named this 'ere tree after the Prince of Wiles 'orse." The subject of Dr. Yorke-Davies has led me into others until he has been entirely left behind; it is difficult with such a crowd of memories of all sorts and kinds not to branch off to other people, who have come on my stage about the same time. The last time I saw Dr. Yorke-Davies was at 50 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Beaulieu in the Riviera. Dr. Lavis, an English- man living in that little village, who had married a French wife and made his home in France, was teasing him about his figure, saying he was not a good advertisement for the theories he preached. Dr. Yorke-Davies took the chaff in good part and, while pulling down his waistcoat and holding in his lower chest, replied laughingly, "You must allow weight for age." He has also been known to give another reply when teased about his figure, "He who drives fat cattle should himself be fat." There was really no occasion to tease the poor man about his figure, he was nothing more than "comfortable"; but he so enjoyed a good dinner that it gave an opening to his friends to chaff him. Mrs. Stannard of "Bootle's Baby" fame was an- other patient who swore by Dr. Davies' treatment; he certainly did wonders for her. Besides being clever in reducing weight without drugs of any kind, he had a pleasant manner, always looked clean, smart and well dressed. He was very proud of his beautiful wife; I remember seeing her at Monte Carlo once, bicycling on her way to Nice, she was even then a beautiful woman after the stress and storm of many years. Dr. Davies' butler used to fill me with admira- tion. Instead of the funeral black that is usually worn by butlers, he answered the door in exceed- clothes which he carried with impressive dignity as ingly well-cut and fitting pepper and salt mufti behove a person accustomed to announcing "all FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 51 mighty big wigs." His tie and collar were things of beauty, and his boots, I have never seen anything so smart on a servant before. This beauteous person had been in the family many years, and had grown more or less confidential. One day when Cardinal Vaughan arrived with- out this servant having been acquainted of his expected visit, he showed the prelate into the wait- ing-room in the usual way asking his name. The servant sought his master saying, "A Colonel Vaughan wished to see him," at the same time re- marking (owing to the fact that the ''Colonel" was robed), "I think he must be a colonel of the Salva- tion Army !" Dr. Lavis, to whom I have referred, was killed in a motor accident in the early part of the great war. The famous physician Sir William Gull, also had an amusing butler. A patient of importance call- ing one day to see Sir William was told by the butler that his master was too busy to see anybody without previous appointment; he added, "We are full up, but there is another fellow across the way whom you might see, we have a good opinion of him." The "other fellow" happened to be Sir William Tenner ! When Sir William Gull was attending the then Prince of Wales when he nearly died of typhoid, the Duke of Connaught observing him to be busy with a pencil on the back of a telegraph form asked what he was doing. The doctor replied, "I am 52 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS making a sketch bearing the inscription 'Don't talk to the man at the wheel/ " The poor man while attending to his patient had evidently been some- what harassed by too much conversation. Sir William had engaged a special and favourite nurse for his Royal patient and had left her in charge while he prowled up and down outside to be ready if wanted; before long, she came rushing after him to say that she had observed a sudden change and that the patient was dying. Evidently her nerves were upset by her great anxiety and responsibility, for, as a matter of fact, this was the turning-point, and from that moment the Prince began to recover and quickly reached convalescence. The first thing he asked for was a glass of beer, which was promptly supplied. I also remember when women doctors sought to become the fashion, and I asked the advice of one after a fast trotter of ours had fast trotted us into a carriage and pair. This resulted in our being all curled up in the middle of the street at Torquay, while the gee, with what remained of the dog-cart, retired into a butcher's shop that was at hand. I journeyed to town, allowed the she-male doctor to treat me and vowed that for ever more I would pin my faith to my old friend the man, for indeed I met with very rough handling. Perhaps the lady felt I ought to carry away something by which to remember my visit — she succeeded. If I had ever aspired to become a fashionable west-end doctor, I should have made it my business FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 53 to specialise in some interesting and mentionable complaint, prescribing treatment that lent itself to dinner table discussion; for who wants to pay big fees for a treatment so unspeakably unromantic that it cannot be discussed at dinner ! If I am asked to name some suitable malady for discussion, I shall reply as some of my friends do in "The House," "I must have notice of that question." If after that I find myself in deep water I shall catch the Speaker's eye and get him to rule it out of order. CHAPTER III I make a List of People's Kinks — And Lose it — Lord Ex- mouth's Peculiarities — A Dinner with a Professor — His Feelings are Hurt — A Colonel gets Kicked — A Tactful Official's Untactful Wife— A Lady with a Religious Ma- nia — She Speaks Her Mind in Church — An Organ- Grinder Viscount — Lord Poulett's Dream — Some Vari- eties of Fabricators. I HAD intended writing a classified chapter on the people I have met with kinks, but I find the infirmities of the human mind so numer- ous that I have had to abandon the idea and give only a few examples. I had not been launched upon the world very long before I came to the conclusion that it was advisable to make memoranda of the peculiarities of the people I stayed with from time to time; it saved awkward moments. I also made notes of the sub- jects most interesting to my hosts and hostesses. I thought I was becoming very grown-up and business-like, unfortunately I was not sufficiently business-like to make my notes in cipher, and was horrified to find when staying with the Exmouths (fourth Viscount) at Canonteign, that I had lost the list. I had been studying it in the train, and remembered putting it back with my purse in my 54 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 55 little handbag. I was much worried, wondering whether I had pulled it out with my pocket-hand- kerchief at tea-time in the drawing-room, or what on earth had become of it. I wished with all my heart that I had not amused myself by making sketches of some of my friends, with would-be facetious remarks and jokes beneath them. My first evening was entirely spoilt by my anxiety in trying to remember if I had said any- thing very compromising about anybody. Lord Exmouth's little peculiarities were soon recalled to my mind by his wife coming into my bedroom when retiring for the night and asking me not to stir the fire, saying, "It so worries Exmouth." Apparently his trained ear enabled him to locate anything of this kind taking place in any part of the house. His spirit of economy was what caused the poking of the fires to annoy him. At one time I saw a good deal of this little man. My sister was the attraction. I was acting chaperon. He seldom came alone, but accompa- nied by his brother ; the latter fell to me to entertain. The brothers were both very short (I should think under five feet high, but I am not a great judge of height), round-faced, and like Sir John Tenniel's picture of "Tweedle-dum" and "Tweedle-dee" in "Alice Through the Looking-glass," who agreed to have a battle when Tweedle-dum said Tweedle-dee had spoilt his nice new rattle. Unfortunately, my suggestion of a likeness to Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee got noised abroad, and for long the 56 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS young men were spoken of by these absurd names. This was, of course, before Lord Exmouth mar- ried. At that time he and his brother the Hon. William Pellew, were living with their mother, Mrs. Pellew-Bradshaw. She had married a second time. I remember thinking her second choice a very handsome man. The necessity for being primed about my friends' hobbies, interests, and kinks had been impressed upon me very early in my married life when my husband was trotting me out before all his relations, and I was expected to show my paces. I strongly objected to these visits, but as they seemed to give infinite pleasure to my lord and master I did my best to show off nicely. The visit in my mind was only to dine with the learned Professor North and his wife, a little family party. I had stupidly forgotten to ask what this relative was professor of until it was too late. All- through dinner I kept hedging to try and find out but without success, I looked appealingly towards my husband hoping he would grasp the situation, but he was busy talking secrets about me; a fact I gathered from the way they kept looking in my direction and nodding their heads. The Professor tried hard to come off his lofty pedestal and talk down to my common or garden intellect. I tried once more, "Your work must be very interesting; do tell me something about it?" Receiving in reply, "It is very interesting' to me. And what is your FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 57 next festivity?" It was no use, so I plunged into everyday topics. However, I had evidently made an impression, for after dinner instead of retiring to his den as his wife said was his habit, he invited me to see where he worked. At the first glance there was nothing in his study that was helpful as indicating the na- ture of his work. Through the open French win- dows looking on to a piece of garden I observed a queer edifice. To this he drew my attention, saying with evident pride: "I made that myself." It looked like a glorified meat-safe, and I congratulated him on building such a big, useful one. There was a pause, I had evidently said the wrong thing. In a voice I recognised as the kind we adopt when seri- ously annoyed yet trying not to show it, he said, "It is not a meat-safe, that is my observatory." He beamed on me no longer. I tried hard to put it right, said I had not meant that was a meat-safe, but something else altogether; he was now most uncompromising and wanted to know what other thing I meant ? Wretched man ! Thank goodness my husband, growing bored with his relatives in the drawing-room, came to look for his bride and helped to change the conversation, but I had the humiliating sensation of having been gauche, of having displayed my ignorance, and effaced the good impressions I had been making. I was learning to be tactful when an old Colonel friend of my husband's came to dine with us. We were a small party of eight and sitting at a round 58 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS table. Conversation turned on a curious case of cruelty to children that had been in the papers, not of a hardworked poor woman in a moment of tired exasperation beating a tiresome child, but a woman in our own class of life who systematically ill- treated a little daughter, shutting her up in a dark cupboard with her arms tied up above her head and keeping her without food until a governess or ser- vant, I forget which, reported the case to the So- ciety for Prevention of Cruelty to Children. My husband was saying what he should like to do to the woman in question when I saw the subject was distasteful to my old Colonel sitting beside me, so I aimed a healthy kick under the table at my good man's legs and made faces at him. All the effect my tact fulness had was to make my man ask me if I had swallowed a bone or something, and a smoth- ered yell from the Colonel whose gouty legs were stretching in the direction I expected to find those of my husband! My man told me afterwards he had tucked his under his chair, as whenever he moved them he found himself in contact with the Colonel's. On making enquiries we found the cruel mother was a near relation of the kicked Colonel. Kinky and tactless people make me tremble at times. I knew in India a very charming official at that time Governor of the North-West Provinces. He was the essence of tactfulness and kept all around him happy by his carefully chosen words and considerations. He married a wife who was most anxious to help him and add to his popularity, FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 59 but she sadly lacked that sympathy which enables people to know what to say and what not to say. They were giving a big dinner to all the local society of the place. The chief civilian of the neighborhood was seated beside the hostess, who, by way of mak- ing polite conversation to her, remarked, "What excellent asparagus you have, Lady " "I am so glad you like it," she replied, "but it is only tinned. My husband said that was quite good enough for the people up here." The unhappy husband little knew the amount of trouble the wife of his bosom was creating for him. The peculiarities of the late Duke of Portland are common property, but I do not think it is generally known that once at Welbeck he ordered all the maid- servants to appear for his amusement on roller skates in the riding school. He was highly enter- tained, for most of them entered on all fours, and some even less elegantly. When moving from one property to another he had his carriage drawn up at a side entrance so that none might look at him ; the servants had to remain seated on the box, eyes front, while their master popped in and drew the blinds down or they had been drawn previously, I forget which, and away they went gaily to the station, where the carriage was moved on to a truck and thus the eccentric duke travelled. Once the servants thinking there was no one in the carriage but not daring to look, left the coach shunted on to a siding and went off to a public- 60 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS house to enjoy themselves. In the early hours they returned to the carriage to find something was being said behind the blinds and some awful threats found their way on to the air ! Sir Charles Dilke had a funny fad, he was pur- sued by the idea that he would one day have to fight a duel. Though quite the last person ever to dream of doing such a thing, nevertheless he spent a good deal of his spare time preparing for the event. He practised in the garden behind his house in Sloane Street, either with the foils or Vepee. He had a great regard for his inner man, and was fond of inventing new dishes and eating them, which at times upset his tummy and temper. When in India his attempts to interest Lord Roberts in recondite dishes was pathetic, as well as highly un- productive. I was talking to him once after his social uphea- val, and was venturing to suggest where I thought he had made a mistake when he amused me by saying, "If the ivy will cling to the oak, what is the oak to do." I suggested the oak should at least be chivalrous if it went gallivanting. Latterly most of the society he entertained was foreign. Then there was Lord Roberts' kink about cats. I ought in my last volume to have mentioned their predilection for him, which quite threw down my theory that children and animals always know by instinct who cares for them. It was quite a usual custom for hostesses, when General "Bobs" was dining with them, to give FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 61 orders for all the cats on the premises to be shut up in rooms, or baskets, until the visit was over, and it really was extraordinary the way they managed to get out, and always rushed for him. The story I told in my last volume of the time when he was walking up and down the deck and felt so uneasy though unable to see a cat anywhere, puss was walking step for step above his head. It was quite uncanny ! The late Sir William Fraser, a talented and re- markable man, was yet very eccentric, and used to try the forbearance of his fellow-members in the Carlton Club considerably. He was a man of wealth, but used to drive up daily from his suburban home in Clapham to the club in a shabby old vic- toria, with the waterproof apron, hood, and cur- tains beloved by our great-grand-parents. In those days they had a passion for curtains on their beds, I presume for delicacy, and quite possibly for the same reason on the victorias. One of the habits his fellow-members of the Carl- ton found trying was the way he would bring a cage of dormice out of his pocket when at meals in the dining-room. He was perfectly aware of his unpopularity, describing himself as a yellow spar- row amongst black ones who were anxious to peck him. He was not fond of ablutions, thought them waste of time. Once when staying with some friends one of the house party who was of a mis- chievous turn of mind, went into Sir William's room 62 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS and took a five-pound note off his dressing-table and put it in his bath, where it remained until he was leaving, when it was pointed out to him proving the bath had not been used during his visit. I have heard this same story told of other people, only in connection with their sponge. All these stories are things of the past, for people do not sit in tea-cups of water in the bedrooms to-day. Every household has a bathroom, and some boast a good many. One house I was staying in a short time ago had a most luxurious one attached to each bedroom. Sir William Fraser repaired to the Highlands at one time in search of a reposeful spot for his re- mains when some such place might be necessary. He stayed for one night at Inverness with a friend. During dinner his host begged him to dig deep into the pie and other edibles after his long journey north. Sir William, who was rather deaf, still thinking of his last resting-place, replied, "Oh, cer- tainly ! I have no wish to remain too near the sur- face I assure you." Once in my early married days I was staying in Yorkshire with an eccentric relative, who had all the household baths spread out on the lawn and painted them himself to avoid the expense of a trades-person doing it. It so happened the house was full for a dance, amongst the guests was a very amply proportioned old General, who was paying his addresses to one of the daughters of the house. After receiving their first coat of paint the baths were removed into the house, and there being a FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 63 shortage of the useful commodity, one of the new painted ones was pressed into the housemaids' service and was placed in the General's room. Nothing suspecting he boldly stepped into it in the morning and then sat down in it and stuck. After breakfast my relative said he was going to give another coat of paint to the baths, and invited us all to go and view his handiwork. We followed him down the rows of baths on the lawn trying to find a suitable change of appreciative remarks for each bath as we came to it; presently we came to the big saucer bearing the imprint of feet and anatomy most faithfully depicted. It would have rejoiced the heart of any detective accustomed to tracing people by the Bertillon system. At first we all stood speechless, gazing at the spectacle; my relative getting redder in the face and his eyes angrier and angrier. He then turned and eyed us all reflectively, as if trying from our forms to trace the culprit who had dared to use one of his newly painted baths without his permission. The beauty of the whole thing was every one of us looked absolutely guilty and red in the face. I determined when I become a judge I will never be led away by circumstantial evidence, it may be most misleading. The General, who had given a sovereign to the head housemaid not to give him away, suggested he would like to go and see the stables — so thought all of us ! People with religious kinks are, however, far and 64 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS away the most terrifying. It is impossible to say where their emotions may lead them. There is a certain lady, living not a hundred miles from where I am now writing, who has a tiresome habit of coming up to you at garden parties and suchlike gatherings asking, "Are you saved?" This is disconcerting because one does not like to venture an opinion on anything so uncertain. While seeking for a diplomatic answer she continues somewhat in this strain, "Remember if you are not saved you are damned, there is no middle course." This sort of thing when your friends are gathering round in a ring to watch your discomfiture is trying, each answer to her leading questions is awaited in si- lence, hoping for something really effective. Re- ligious kinky-folk ought not to be allowed to roam about alone at garden parties. This same religious lady has a living in her gift. The unfortunate incumbent has a very poor time. Not long ago the long-suffering man thought he had endured enough and gave up the Ghost, but not before he had invited the parson of our parish to preach for him one Sunday. During the sermon opinions were expressed not in accordance with this lady's views; she therefore stood up and shouted, "That's a lie!" Our rosy-faced little parson con- tinued, taking no sort of notice, so she repeated her polite statement and was requested by the preacher to sit down and be quiet and after the service if she would like to come to the vestry he would discuss the point. She agreed to this and continued mut- FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 65 tering to herself and shaking her head, occasion- ally making a few notes in a pocket-book. What made the circumstances piquante was the fact, well known to many present, that the familiar nickname of the parson was "Lying Joe." On another occasion when a strange clergyman was preaching he foolishly and unthinkingly said in the course of his sermon, "Who amongst you are saved?" This weird lady patroness at once jumped up and said, "I am"; her cook in the pew behind fol- lowed suit, "And I am," knowing how much de- pended on doing so. After the clergyman holding this living and chaplaincy died, a new incumbent had to be in- stalled. A terrible time ensued. Various parsons were tried and found wanting. One unfortunate man came from some distance by train, having in his letters confessed himself willing to preach his patroness's doctrines and she had agreed to send her carriage to meet him, the station being several miles from the house. Owing to some mischance the reverend gentleman missed his train, arriving at his destination to find no carriage to meet him. He was told it had been and gone again earlier in the evening. With some difficulty he hired a vehicle, and drove some eight miles in the dark to the address on the letters in his pocket. When at last he reached the place it was all shut up and in darkness. After ringing and hammering at the front door and re- 66 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS ceiving no answer, he and the driver of the cab wandered round the house looking for some window or door that might be hospitably inclined. At last a side door was found open, and a sleepy maid sit- ting up in a sort of back kitchen. She gave the parson a written notice that had been left for him when his hostess retired to bed. On this card was written, "If you choose to come in the middle of the night you can't expect people to sit up for you. Go to bed and I will see you in the morning. Up the stairs, first turn to the right, fourth room on the left." The maid presented him with a smelly little oil lamp, and advised him strongly not to come to the "miserable place"; the lady was enough to drive anybody mad. The clergyman went to bed think- ing it all very strange, but as he knew his prede- cessor had held the living for years he thought per- haps he might be able to do the same, at any rate he must try. The following morning at breakfast he made the acquaintance of the awesome lady, who was neither young nor good-looking, and considered any dainti- ness in dress or personal adornment very wicked. She asked her guest to say grace; this he did, briefly, only to be told, "That is no use at all," and she stood up and in a sing-song voice half spoke, half chanted a lengthy supplication for a variety of things, including a good appetite ! It was Sunday, and the parson was to take the service, so that it might be seen if he was suitable. FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 67 In the middle of breakfast, after fixing a cold grey eye on the uncomfortable and much-to-be-pitied man, the patroness snapped out, "I can't stand that silly collar you are wearing, why can't you wear a proper one that opens in front and has no deception about it. That ritualistic thing is no use at all, it has no beginning or end." "But, madam," replied the parson, "it is the usual clerical collar." "It is nothing of the kind, man. I am not a fool," retorted the lady. When the morning's service was over the parson said he was truly thankful. He was not usually a nervous man, but he confessed that morning had tried his nerves severely. He was allowed to eat his luncheon in peace, but there was a gloomy silence on the part of his hostess, and at the end of the repast she said, "You won't do at all, you can go back again at once; what do I owe you?" The parson explained what the usual fee was and the cost of his journey, counting the cab of the night before, asking a modest four guineas. He was presented with a cheque for £3 10s. and told it was quite enough, if he chose to arrive in the middle of the night he must pay for the cab himself. Eventually there was so much scandal about the way the numerous clergy were treated who aspired to the living in this curious person's gift, that the bishop got wind of it and put his foot down and there was an end of the matter. A parson came and stayed, whether he was approved of or not. 68 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Some of the victim parsons took the lady's treat- ment of them much to heart. "Lying Joe" troubled not at all when she told him he lied. His habitual tally-diddles and inexactitudes were not in connec- tion with Biblical history or dogma, but purely social and in amplification of his own prowess and importance. Yet everyone liked him, he was a genial amusing companion, hospitable host and kind friend. When he died he was much missed. He had held his living for many years, and in his younger days could tell a good story and drink a bottle of good port. In his stable there always stood a smart cob or two that could be relied on to bring him home safely at night after cheery din- ners with old Lord Poulett the 6th Earl and Lord Bridport of the same date. The stories the dear old parson told of those days were highly entertaining, also the accounts of some of the 6th Lord Poulett's wives, whom he knew well, being a constant visitor at the house. Many people will remember what a rumpus there was about the succession to the Hinton St. George property and the Poulett title, and how the son of one of the earl's earlier wives (he had three) de- clared he was the rightful heir, but for reasons it is not necessary to state here, though they can be easily imagined, when the case came up for trial it was given against him. I remember seeing the claimant going about London with his barrel-piano, he never asked for money, at least I never saw him do so, but there was a little box on one side of the The Sixth Earl Poulett FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 69 piano into which I have seen a good deal find its way, and I have added my mite to help to swell the grand total. Silver was often thrown to them and dexterously caught. The musician was accompanied by a woman, whether she was his wife or not I do not know. A large notice adorned one side of the piano giving the world to understand that the grinder was Viscount Hinton, heir to the Poulett estates. They used to prowl about the streets, not so much with a view, I always thought, of obtaining money as to airing their grievance. People used to be sorry for them, and I remember seeing a cabman ask them into a public-house at the bottom of Park Lane to give them drinks. Nobody inter- fered with the poor dears, even the policemen left them in peace. Anybody wishing to find these un- fortunate people and their piano could generally run them to ground in the neighbourhood of Tatter- sails or the sporting clubs. It must have been weary work wandering about, rain or shine, and I wondered they kept it up as long as they did. I always felt sorry for them. It will perhaps be remembered that the present Lord Poulett's father married three times, his first wife being the mother of the organ-grinder whom the Court decided was not Lord Poulett's son. The secret of his marriage had been kept very quiet, it was the result of a foolish bet made with a brother officer on board ship when the 2nd Foot were com- ing home from abroad. He said he would marry 70 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS the first woman he met or saw on landing, and he stuck to his word. The woman's name was Miss Elizabeth Lavinia Newman, and I have been told she was a circus rider, but about this I am not sure. I have always heard that the late Lord Poulett provided handsomely in his lifetime for the un- happy man who called himself, and no doubt be- lieved he was, Viscount Hinton. I have been told Lord Poulett, the 7th Earl, behaved generously to the piano-grinder, although the unfortunate aspirant's claim had been com- pletely shattered in the law courts. The present peer inherited from his parents a love for the stage, and married a pretty Miss Storey from the Gaiety Chorus, after the fashion of the young bloods of to-day. Lady Poulett's father was the Fred Storey attached for so long to the Gaiety Theatre. His forte was eccentric dancing, he ap- peared also, I think, at Drury Lane with the Vokes family, under Augustus Harris's management, in a show called "Belles of the Kitchen." First he danced on the kitchen table and then stood between the sisters Rosina and Victoria throwing his leg alternately over the heads of each. The sixth earl died in 1899. He was a popular patron of steeplechasing, and scored two great victories with a little 15.2 horse called "The Lamb," the Liverpool Grand National in 1868 and again in 1 87 1. On both occasions "The Lamb" was ridden by gentlemen riders, the first time by Mr. George FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 71 Ede, under the name of Edwards, the second by Mr. Pickernell, under the name of Thomas. There is a curious story attached to the second race. Lord Poulett had a dream in which he saw his horse defeated, he awoke feeling very worried and disappointed, went to sleep again and dreamt he saw his horse win with Mr. Pickernell in the saddle. Upon the strength of this he wrote to Mr. Pickernell telling him about his dream and asking him to ride the horse. Mr. Pickernell agreed and the dream was fulfilled to the letter. These two races brought a good round sum into Lord Poulett's pockets, but I fear there must have been a hole in them, for the money soon disap- peared. The poor little "Lamb" died in 1872, after he had passed the winning-post, in a big steeplechase at Baden-Baden. I should have liked to see this game little horse in the flesh. He was an iron grey with little flecks of white, the only picture of him that I know of is a family heirloom now at Hinton St. George. I believe Prince Esterhazy was riding him on the fatal day against a horse named "Mon- arch," ridden by Prince Kinsky. Lord Poulett was the original owner of "Cortol- vin," but sold him to the Duke of Hamilton. Looking back over my life I have met some first- class romancers, some embroidered beautifully, others awkwardly, others maliciously. It has been an interesting study to me trying to trace the rea- sons and incentives for the inexactitudes. I have 72 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS come to the conclusion that some people are un- truthful because they cannot help it, they have no real sense of right and wrong. Others lie with a view to self-aggrandisement, and there is another class that lies from Christian charity, the white lies of charity and bowing to convention. If you know people fairly well you can generally see through them all. There is, however, one man I know, a general in the army, who romances for no reason at all as far as I can gather, but his habit has be- come so well known that in the army they say, "Oh, what a — Jones shall I say?" Of course that is not the general's name, but I cannot now give the name as the man is living and would scalp me. Quite solemnly once he told me he was the inventor of cart wheels, hoping I suppose that I was simple enough to believe him. At another time he told me he remembered well when a baby in arms and his nurse pinched him thinking to himself "When I can talk I will tell my mother of this woman." This officer's son inherited his father's failing. He was quite a nice boy and used to rattle on telling most astounding stories, and then wind up by say- ing in the most engaging manner, "But you must not believe a word I say, I am an awful liar." There was a certain stipendiary magistrate in Yorkshire who was superb in this line. One day when some friends were talking rather big about shooting experiences, the stipendiary broke in and we all knew something was coming that would take the gloss off any previous story of that evening. He FURTHER INDISCRETIONS j$ was a huge man with a large corporation, florid, rather fat face and strident of voice. He pro- ceeded : "My dear fellahs ! that's nothing to what I did once when I was shooting with the King at Buckingham Palace." Before we had recovered from our surprise at hearing of Buckingham Palace being a sporting estate, he astonished us still more by saying, "A covey of partridges got up. I got a right and left and the recoil of the gun caused me to fall backwards on to a hare and kill it." If we felt the man was romancing to be funny and for our amusement we should not have minded, but he was in the first place strangely ignorant, and in the second place annoying because he expected us to believe him. Nobody took any notice, which was perhaps a pity ; someone ought to have tackled him and argued the matter out; only not in my house for choice ! The lies that are lied so that good may come are often rather pleasant; for instance, we may know some young man is going to make a fool of himself and we say "I am sure you will not do so and so, it would be very unlike you. I have much too high an opinion of you to believe you would do any- thing of the kind." In our hearts we have no such high opinion, and we are persuaded he had every intention of doing the foolish deed, but our white lie may act as a deterrent; he will wish to live up to our high opinion of him, therefore, surely this lie is doing evil that good may come, and is par- donable. 74 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Then the little everyday tally-diddles, when our friends tell us how they have been looking forward to seeing us and how charming we look, we know it is only froth, oil that lubricates the wheels of life, and surrender ourselves to the deception that is being practised upon us just as we do when we go to a play. I wonder sometimes is there such a thing as truth, or is it all a mirage? CHAPTER IV The Tempers of Sporting People — "Heel-tap" Days in the Northumberland Yeomanry — Mr. Carnaby Forster as Master of the Ledbury — His Hunt Servants' Awe of him — Lady Mary Hamilton's Popularity — The Duke of Hamilton's Cure for Gout — The Duke at Oxford, his Generous Nature — Starts a Money-lending Business — Why he Relinquished it — The Grand National of 1867 — A Bet the Night Before — How he Paid it — A Mistake over a Horse's Weight at Newmarket — His Grace's Sporting Garments — One of his Favourite Jockeys — The Duke gives Custance a Present of a Horse — It objects to Physic and Custance has to Hide — The Duke's Har- riers at Easton — A Favourite Horse named "Safe Coach" — He Carries a Foreign Guest who does not En- joy his Ride — The Duke's Generosity to a Sporting Par- son — A West Country Master's Eccentricities — The Health of a Welsh M.F.H.— A Little Tragedy in the Hunting Field. I KNOW a good deal about tempers, though I have been blessed by a sweet-tempered husband and a sweet-tempered son. It has always seemed to me that sporting people control their feel- ings the least satisfactorily, which is a pity. In- deed, some I have known seem to consider they are being clever and amusing when blustering and using swear words. Tradition has something to do with this. It influences people in small as well 75 76 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS as great matters. Tradition is what makes armies particularly deadly in attack, just as successfully as it makes masters of hounds swear when natur- ally, and in their hearts, they are often the tamest creatures imaginable, poor dears ! There are, of course, some naturally bad-tem- pered men who have so grievously mistaken their calling as to attempt to hunt hounds, but personally I think that nine times out of ten the silly bluster affected by some men in the hunting field is chiefly due to the prominence accorded to that sort of thing in sporting literature. Happily both this style and hard swearing are dying natural deaths, like the port wine drinking of the early Victorian era. I remember my father telling me that in his young days it was the fashion to get drunk when- ever an opportunity presented itself. He found this a great nuisance, being one of the most abstemious of men. In the Northumberland Yeomanry they kept up the practice of drinking without leaving any heel- taps, which I understand consisted of drinking off glass after glass of port quickly, and then turning the glass upside down on the table to show it was empty. One guest night, soon after the funeral of the Duke of Wellington, at which my father had been present with his regiment, when all were drowning dull care in repeated libations of port, my father, not wishing to drink more than was good for him, FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 77 lifted each successive glass to his face and then shot its contents quickly under the table, naturally remaining cool-headed while his neighbours were becoming somewhat elevated or muddled, as the case might be. After this had been proceeding for some time it suddenly dawned on his guest to the right, who was, I believe, one of the North Country Cooksons, that his legs were feeling very wet and he moved his chair to enquire into the matter. My father, realising that he had accidentally been pour- ing the port over his neighbour's legs, thought it time to decamp with all speed. There was a tre- mendous hullabaloo and some unwisely gave chase, but they did not get very far. I have strayed away from tempers somewhat. I was going to mention Mr. Carnaby Forster, at one time Master of the Ledbury. He used to be quite comic in his display of temper. I was forcibly re- minded of him the other day while reading General Baden-Powell's book, Indian Memories, in which he described the way Sir Baker Russell, commanding the 13th Hussars, used to charge subalterns who annoyed him, and either ride them down if he managed to hit them, or crash into the ranks if he missed his intended prey. I remember well the fierce, heavy-moustached colonel in Lucknow many years ago when I was staying with Captain and Mrs. Cuthell, my host being in the 13th Hussars. He maintained that the Colonel's bark was worse than his bite. I 78 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS noticed, however, that throughout the station there was a distinct disinclination to bark with him. Mr. Carnaby Forster ruled the Ledbury with a rod of iron. When he began to be really angry, an event for which his field did not have long to wait, he used to fill the coverts with his admonitions and commands. He was a small dark man with promi- nent eyes, and I remember seeing him gallop furi- ously after someone or other who had offended him, sitting hunched up in his saddle with rage, literally gnashing his teeth. It was impossible at times to prevent laughing at his exhibitions, at others it made one feel sad, hurt one's cherished ideals of the dignity of hu- manity. He never wearied of abusing his hunt servants, and they were reduced to a state of hope- lessness from fear. One day when my son viewed a beaten fox, for which the master was diligently casting, and told one of the whips he had viewed it, the man said he really dare not tell Mr. Forster, and suggested the only thing to do was to go and tell Lady Mary Hamilton (Mr. Forster's step- daughter), she being the only person who knew how to tackle him. With all his curious ways and tempers he was not a bad huntsman, and so keen that he used to hunt otters during the summer months. Lady Mary Hamilton was very popular, a big healthy-looking girl with fair hair. Her mother, the Duchess of Hamilton, it will be remembered, ■ i The Twelfth Duke of Hamilton FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 79 married Mr. Carnaby Forster about two years after the Duke's death. I remember being at Easton Park, near Wickham Market, soon after Lady Mary was born. It was a great disappointment to the Red Duke, as he was called, that the baby should be a girl. No man ever wished more ardently for a son and heir than did that good sportsman. He had been married since 1873, but not until November, 1884, did any off- spring put in an appearance. At this time the Duke was rather a gouty subject and he amused me by saying his remedy was a "mixture of stout and champagne," which did not coincide with my ideas of what was suitable for the complaint. The Duke (the 12th) was, I think, one of the most generous men I ever met. At Oxford his generosity was a byword, and in those youthful days he was a very unrestrained and wild young person: once he was nearly rusticated for playing practical jokes on a proctor. His rooms in Canter- bury Quad were the general rendezvous of cock- fighters, fox-terriers and rat-hunters. He was a general favourite all the same, owing to his ex- treme generosity, straightforwardness and charm of manner. It was a different Oxford in the Hamilton, Lans- downe and Rosebery days from that we knew be- fore the war. There were plenty up there then, however, as now, with money and without. To the latter the Duke was a prince of kindness. On hearing that some of his friends were borrowing 80 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS money and being charged exorbitant interest by the money-lenders, he started a private business of his own in opposition to see how many bucket-shops he could close, but after a while, finding the under- graduates he had befriended never attempted to pay even the lowest rate of interest, much less the capital, by degrees he tired of the game and left the field to those who knew how to follow up and press their victims. Birth heaped distinctions upon him, he owned many princely mansions in England and France; and was related to the Emperor Napoleon, who wished him to associate himself with French poli- tics and ceremonies, but the Duke would not hear of it, although a staunch Bonapartist. He did not mind social court functions, but declined to have anything to do with politics. In spite of his great inheritance, before reaching the age of thirty he was on the verge of ruin : a good many people did not know how he managed to save the situation. There used to be a diversity of opin- ion in my young days about Mr. Padwich, the agent. Some pointed him out as a praiseworthy good man, doing his best to husband the resources of a spendthrift, others as very much on the make. Perhaps the chief social function of the Duke's life was the ball he gave at Hamilton Palace in Lanarkshire to the Crown Prince of Austria, our then Prince of Wales, and the Prince Imperial of France. My old friend Sir Ian Hamilton got into trouble FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 81 at that ball. The room was very crowded, ten deep round the walls of the circular ballroom at least. He was waltzing away merrily and seeing a sort of opening in the serried ranks of spectators pulled up for a rest. Instantly about a dozen grandees fell upon him, hunting him and his terrified partner away, as they had exactly planted themselves in the front of a funnel-shaped opening in the crowd, kept to allow the Royalties who were present seated on sofas by the wall to see what was going on. Hamilton Palace was the Duke's father's favour- ite abode, and was filled with marvels of art and precious books — all dispersed at the great sale! Racing and hunting were the Duke's chief hob- bies. A story is told of him in 1867, the night be- fore the Grand National, which he won with his horse "Cortolvin." He was feeling particularly gay and full of beans at the time, and made no secret of the fact that he thought his horse would win the steeplechase on the following day. It was during the evening before the great event that he looked into the Washington Hotel at Liverpool, where all the chief book-makers and backers re- sorted, with the idea of either doing a little betting, or hearing the latest news of the big chase. Here he made a number of people back his horse. During the revelry the Duke went to the bar and said to the girl attendant, "I shall put you on a thousand pounds that my horse wins to-morrow." The girl had no idea who was speaking and thought it might only be a joke, but felt elated, nevertheless, 82 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS and told her master, who said, "Show me the man who said it." He was soon pointed out, and then the girl learnt it was the Duke of Hamilton who had made the promise. The horse won, and the next night the Duke re- turned to the "Washington/' which was again full of bookies and racing people. Instead of keeping his word by means of a cheque he went round the room collecting and borrowing the money from the book-makers and others present, in bank-notes and country notes in all sorts of conditions, dirty, clean, crumpled, pieced together with stamped paper and otherwise. These he rolled up one round the other and going straight to the bar presented the roll of notes to the barmaid. She could hardly believe her luck and again sought her master, excitedly carrying her handful of notes. Her employer locked these up for the night in his safe. When the next Liverpool Meeting came round, the story had spread far and wide, in consequence of which many looked in to the "Washington" to see the lucky girl, but were disappointed, for as soon as the race week of 1867 was over she left her situation, married an engineer and went off with him and her thousand pounds to America, much to the grief of the hotel proprietor in Liverpool, who said the Duke had been the means of robbing him of the best book-keeping barmaid he ever had. When racing in France the Duke was in his element, and ready for anything from pitch and toss to cock-fighting. Baden-Baden owes its success in FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 83 life chiefly to him. He made the place what it was and has been ever since. In September he always had a big party there, a happy mixture of English and French friends. He won many races there on the flat and steeple-chasing, being a princely patron of both. I was sorry he never won the Grand Prix de Paris. I should like to have seen the cerise with French-grey sleeves and cap (the Duke's colours) to the fore. Neither was he ever a winner of the Derby, or even placed in that race or the Two Thousand Guineas, but he won the One Thousand, Oaks and St. Leger. At Baden-Baden he won a race worth £2000; his mother, Princess Mary of Baden, being present made it a popular win, and I know the Duke was pleased. I never thought him lucky in his racing. Once in 1885 he had excep- tionally bad luck through a mistake in allocating the weight "Miss Jummy" had to carry in the Post Sweepstakes for four hundred sovereigns at New- market. Marsh being the trainer it was his busi- ness to attend to such details as the weight to be carried. That the weight was wrong was not discovered until the horses had cantered to the post. "Hot- spur" of the Daily Telegraph (Mr. Charles Green- wood) at once flew off to the Clerk of the Scales and asked him if the weight declared overnight for the race card was what the filly was carrying, because if so it was wrong, receiving a reply in the affirma- tive "Hotspur" hastily found Mr. Marsh, but it 84 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS was too late to send down to the post and correct the error, and away they all came, "Miss Jummy" first by three parts of a length, "Sunrise," a horse of Mr. Houldsworth's second and General Owen Williams' "Lisbon" third. An objection was, of course, raised to "Miss Jummy" for carrying- wrong weight. The objection was sustained and the race awarded to "Sunrise." It is a most vexatious thing for an owner to find himself in such a position; and was almost an inexcusable mistake, most disastrous for many, whose long-drawn faces told the tale. "Miss Jummy's" owner accepted the situation more pleas- antly than many would have done, though he not only lost the money he betted, but the stakes as well. He was a true sportsman and took the rough with the smooth, nevertheless, it was certainly one of the most unlucky days during his long racing career, which started in the middle of the sixties and ended in the nineties. Perhaps his best year was 1883 when he won two dozen races value £12,530, which sum did not include events under the National Hunt Rules Steeplechasing. When "Cortolvin" won the Grand National at Liverpool, I am under the impression Page was the jockey, and he received from the Duke a little present of £500. I cannot be certain it was for that particular race, but I am certain Page received £500 for one of the big races he rode in and won for his employer. FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 85 I can picture the Duke now in the Birdcage (the paddock) at Newmarket, with his full-blooded face surmounting a plentiful display of neck, with a low- cut blue shirt and more often than not a scarlet tie worn sailor-knot fashion. He was at all times a conspicuous figure. His greatcoats were superb in their own line, being of a very coachy cut and graced by enormous buttons, which were specially made for him. Many people tried to copy these masterpieces of tailor's art and ducal taste, and I have known one or two tall slight figures look well in them, but they required a Duke or a costermonger to carry them off satisfactorily. Once at Newmarket the Duke was having a few words with one of his commissioners about some betting transaction and was having the best of the argument. As the man turned to go he looked the Duke up and down critically and said, "Look here your Grace, a trip for to-morrow : I have just had a wire from town saying that Savernake is coming down (referring of course to the subsequent Mar- quess of Ailesbury, known as the coster-lord) so you be careful and keep out of the way, or he'll claim your coat and buttons !" Custance was one of the Duke's favourite jock- eys who when in 1894 he wrote his own reminis- cences he presented a copy to his patron bearing this dedication: — "To His Grace the Duke of Hamilton and Brandon, k. t., as some slight recognition of the many favours and kindnesses he has extended to 86 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS me during my riding career I respectfully dedicate these pages." As far as education was concerned Custance was quite at the top of the tree amongst his riding contemporaries. He wrote an excellent letter, and was full of humour and cheerfulness, while never forgetting himself or taking liberties. This jockey had another admirer in Lord Chap- lin, who considered him as good in the hunting field as he was on the flat. It was in consequence of his judgment in riding across a country that when the Prince of Wales (King Edward VII) was staying at Blankney, Lord Chaplin gave "Cussy," as his intimates called the jockey, the honoured post of piloting the Prince in the hunting field. The Duke of Hamilton, knowing Custance's love for hunting, gave him a well-known old steeple- chaser named "The Doctor," after the animal's racing career was finished, the price originally paid for this horse being f 1200. I am under the impression that this clever and willing horse had his heart broken in a desperate finish between him- self, ridden by Holman, and "The Colonel," ridden by Stevens, for the poor beast was never the same again, having been so severely treated that the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals inter- fered, and there was a law court investigation. It ended in the case being dismissed, but it was never dismissed from "The Doctor's" mind, for ever after when in any way pressed in races he stopped and FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 87 kicked furiously, revenging himself in that way. Like many racehorses, his temper had been spoilt by his training, and when first he began to hunt on the horse Custance found him decidedly impetuous and queer tempered. Custance described the horse when first he entered his stable as "All stomach, a crib-biter, ewe-necked, and with a club foot which had a way of refusing to keep a shoe on." He was a perfect terror in the stable, and once when Cus- tance decided the horse should have a dose of physic and everybody seemed shy of administering it, the jockey said the horse knew him and he would give the dose himself. Armed with the mixture, a step-ladder and a twitch he proceeded. All went well as long as only linseed oil was tasted, but when aloes were recognised the horse would have no more of it and, in spite of his affec- tion for Custance and the twitch on his nose, he sent the step-ladder flying and Custance with it, whilst the audience watching the operation fled in all directions. The horse romped round and round kicking windows, doors, partitions, everything in reach to smithereens, whilst his owner was kept a prisoner under the hay-trough until things quieted down a bit. Captain Arthur Smith, who is still living, will remember this clever horse, one of the best over Leicestershire, where for six years he held his own in spite of being a roarer, crib-biter, weaver and club-footed. His end was sad. One day, when out with the Cottesmore, the Duchess of Hamilton told 88 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Custance there was a lady out that day who had been heard to say she meant to cut her down, so she (the Duchess) wished Custance if on a good horse to give her a lead. At the moment he did not happen to be on a particularly clever or fast mount, but said when his second horse arrived he would be able to comply with her wish. The second horse happened to be "The Doctor," whom the Duchess knew well and was delighted to follow. Coming to a fence where there were only a couple of places that could be got over, Mr. Henry Lea- tham jumped it first and his mount fell. It was not a very formidable place, but had a drop of about six feet, yet there did not appear to be anything to put a horse down. The Duchess called out to Custance, "Here is another place," but Mr. Leatham was now out of the way and it was too late. "The Doctor" jumped the fence beautifully, but, like Mr. Leatham's horse, fell, and was unable to raise himself. Assistance was sent for, but the gallant old horse had broken his shoulder, having landed with his club foot on the stump of a tree that had been felled and which was covered with fallen leaves, so, poor fellow, he had to be put out of his pain. I hear that Custance gives an account of this game old horse in his book of reminiscences. The Red Duke, as he was called on account of his red hair and reddish purple face, kept a pack of Harriers at Easton, and a stable full of horses with which he mounted many friends when staying with FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 89 him. Amongst these horses was one named "Safe Coach" a sort of circus horse that knew his business so well that when out with the harriers and a hare was found knew at once what was expected of him. He preferred a rider who remained in the saddle and played the game, but failing that, would con- tinue to hunt the hare by himself quite regardless of hounds. Once a foreign guest, who came over to Easton from Baden-Baden to stay with the Duke, sug- gested he would like to see some sport with the harriers, but confessing he was not a great horse- man was mounted on "Safe Coach." Hounds found quickly and away went this knowing animal, jump- ing neatly in and out of a deep lane. His mount just escaped embracing Mother Earth, and, aban- doning the reins entirely, seized the horse's mane with one hand and the back of the saddle with the other sticking on like grim death, allowing "Safe Coach" to please himself entirely, much to the Duke's amusement, though the horse was a little too pressing at times and interfered somewhat with the sport. The rider reached Easton again without any broken bones, but with a very poor opinion of "The Sport," and could never be persuaded to try again. The late Lord Kesteven used to hunt with these harriers a good deal. He was a good horseman, if one can so describe a man with no hands, they being always gouty. He therefore had steel hooks fastened in his sleeves and straps across the reins 90 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS to steer his useful and accommodating mount. Between them they managed to see a good deal of sport. The Duke was certainly popular in the particular community to which he belonged, or which appro- priated him. The community at times was a trifle exigent in demands on the goodwill and kindness of the Duke. There was a sporting parson who, from the neighbourhood of Saxmundham, used to hunt with the Duke's harriers. Shortly before Christmas one year he was conspicuous by his absence, and the Duke noticing the parson was not out inquired where he was or what had happened to him. I told the Duke in confidence what the reason was, that he had been obliged to sell his only hunter to help a relation dying of cancer. The kind old man said, "Dear, dear, we must see about that." When Christmas arrived the postman delivered a letter at the Rectory bearing a London post-mark and con- taining two hundred pounds in bank-notes, and printed on a card, "Wishing you a happy Christ- mas, from an old friend and fellow-sportsman." A little later a mare was sent over to the parson with a note, asking him if he would be good enough to give her a little work as she, past her best, was too good to shoot, but might perhaps do a couple of days a week with hounds. I think it gave the Duke sincere pleasure to help those less well off than himself, and all his kind FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 91 actions were carried out in a careless, breezy sort of way, leaving no painful sense of obligation. No Englishman that I have ever met spoke French as well as the Duke of Hamilton. It was a pleasure to listen to him, not only was he idio- matically correct, but his accent perfect. He had spent a good deal of the early part of his life in France, which no doubt accounts for this to some extent. Mr. Labouchere thought his own accent quite as good, but he made a mistake ! The Duke also knew how to suit himself to his company as well as anybody I ever met. From his "live and let live" principles, and the way he liked everybody to please themselves, it came as a sur- prise to those who did not know him very well to find what a strict Scotch Sabbatarian he was. Even when out at sea on his yacht, where no person's susceptibilities were likely to be hurt, he would not allow his piano to be touched on Sunday until after midnight except for hymn tunes. Even Mozart and Haydn were tabooed. In my humble opinion the Duke was badly treated by the world, his faults were those of an unusually warm-hearted, generous schoolboy, abso- lutely straightforward and honourable. Yet cer- tain saintly people who were quite possibly less straight themselves considered it their duty to blackball him at a well-known high and mighty club. One or two people I could name loved him much, a certain egotistical young genius named Marie Bashkertseff for one, and she describes the manner 92 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS thereof in her published diaries, price one franc fifty centimes. Some years ago there was in the west-country a certain pack of hounds that hunted carted deer. Their master used to provide entertainment for his followers after the same fashion as Mr. Car- naby Forster. On one occasion he became em- broiled in a heated argument with a farmer, but a small brook in flood unfortunately separated the two. Vengeance was not to be delayed by such a small thing. The Master plunged boldly in, crossed and veritably annihilated the farmer, and then waded back again. As soon as he had cooled down a little and recovered from the glow of having added another scalp to his collection he became con- scious of the fact that his boots were full of water, so the affair came to a suitable conclusion by the Master standing on his head, supported by his whip on one side and second horseman on the other, until the water drained out. While this took place he was surrounded by a silent admiring circle of followers'. In his calmer moments the Master was a delight- ful companion, witty and amusing. He is still alive and flourishing, I am glad to say. He was once seen thrashing his motor because it would not start! On another occasion when out hunting he saw a number of his field galloping off without waiting to shut a gate after them, he shouted at the top of his voice, and it was a fairly strong one, "Here you" — FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 93 something, something! "Come back and shut that gate — you . . . ! . . . ! ! ...!!! fellows come out with my hounds knowing nothing more of farm- ing than wooden images and caring less, leaving gates open behind you so that the farmer's stock will get out, you . . . ! ...!!" Here the culprit tried to speak, but was over- whelmed. "Holl your tongue, I won't have it, I tell you. Go back and shut that gate instantly." The culprit in a timid voice, "But it's my gate and I want it open !" Here the Master's early training as a barrister came to his rescue, and he replied, without any outward signs or discomfiture, "that does not alter the principle of the thing in the least," and rode on. I feel as if I could go on writing indefinitely about masters of hounds, but I will only mention one more. He is a dear little man who lives in Wales, hunts his own hounds and is well known to every- one who buys or sells them, as he loves a deal above all things. Although a particularly cheerful and most entertaining individual, he was very fussy about his health, being frequently convinced that he was dying. At a meet it was a mark of high esteem to be invited to peer down his throat and see for oneself how inflamed his tonsils were. His faithful whipper-in, named Davis, was long past being surprised at anything; he surveyed the world with the most impassive face I have ever seen. One day in the middle of a run, hounds had 94 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS pushed their fox through a covert and were making for a particularly fine line of country when the Master was seen to be staring at a pocket-handker- chief he was holding in his hand. "Davis, Davis," he cried passionately and almost tearfully, "stop them, whip them off; I am going home, my nose is bleeding!" One meets with tragedy as well as comedy in the hunting-field sometimes. I remember a very sporting little man who rode a good deal in steeple- chases and point-to-points, who lived on the out- skirts of a harrier country which my son was hunt- ing with his own hounds at the time of which I am writing. The little man was well known and popu- lar throughout the country, but no one knew any- thing about his home life. One day he suggested to my son that the harriers should draw his land, as it held a few hares, though being so far off was never hunted. Accordingly a meet in this new country was arranged. A hare was found and a good day's sport resulted. Suddenly while drawing a root field, the figure of a tall wild-looking woman sprang into a bank at the side of the field and began raving and abusing the Master, his hounds and the members of the field in a torrent of most fluent adjectives. She told them passionately to be off and tongue-lashed everybody singly and collectively. A horror-stricken silence fell, nobody knew quite what to do. The Master hurriedly took the pack away to draw somewhere else and said to the owner FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 95 of the land at whose instigation he had come, "I fear someone does not like us very much, perhaps we had better move off elsewhere?" "Don't take any notice," replied the poor little man sadly, "that is my wife, she has been raving mad for years and at times breaks away from those who take care of her." I do not think there was anyone on the field who, before that day, had the slightest idea he even had a wife. For a thoroughly unromantic and therefore doubly real little tragedy, I think that would be hard to beat. If Jorrock's calculation that fox-hunting repre- sents the excitement but only twenty-five per cent of the danger of war is correct, there can be only about one per cent, or even less, of its danger in otter-hunting, indeed it would be hard to imagine anything much safer than the otter-hunter's majestic promenade through sun-kissed hay fields, bordering some babbling brook, unless we take sun- stroke into our calculations. But I remember once strolling along in just such a hay field talking to a ponderous and stately Lon- don solicitor who had come out for a day's sport as he was staying in a village close by. In the midst of our conversation a hound came casting along the bank and ran between the solici- tor's legs. Down went the poor fat man and broke his collar-bone! After this he no longer considered otter-hunting a safe or suitable pursuit. CHAPTER V Mr. Corney Grain at Home and Elsewhere — He and Cap- tain Beaumont Perpetrate a Joke — With the Fire Brigade in Southwark Bridge Road — An Accident to Captain Beaumont — A Labouchere and Lawson Row — How it Ended — Mr. Labouchere at Home — How he Treated a Guest — Asked why he Called His Paper Truth — His Reply — After Dinner Tableaux — Mr. Augustus Harris Personates Royalty — Mr. Corney Grain as "Rags and Chatters" — A Mock Court-Martial — Execution Effected on a Princeling — Mr. Joseph Chamberlain as I knew him — In a Toy Shop — Fond of Children — Letty Lind and her "Wages" — Marion Hood and her Hair. MOST of the theatrical people I have known have been bright and amusing. I think Mr. Corney Grain interested me the most, though he could hardly be called theatrical. He appeared certainly for many years with the German Reeds at St. George's Hall, Langham Place, but I suppose it would be more correct to call him a "high-class society entertainer!" I often specu- lated on how so hyper-sensitive a man could have chosen such a role, one bound often to irritate and hurt his feelings. When recounting to me some of the stories he often told against himself, and which many people of that date will remember, I asked him why he de- 9 6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 97 serted the Bar for society entertaining? He re- plied the latter appeared to him the "most amusing, least sweat, and what Providence intended me to be," adding, "It would be such a waste of material for such a huge funny-looking man not to do tricks, so little being necessary on top of my natural ap- pearance to amuse the public." For the benefit of the rising generation, who may not remember much about Mr. Grain, I had better explain that the unusual appearance he referred to consisted in his size, — not only was he very tall but he had immense depth beyond the ribs as his sport- ing friends would say, a big nose, fair and rather curly hair, a very pale complexion and big blue rather prominent eyes. His feet were a trial to him, he said, they were always in the way. Amongst the stories he was fond of telling were the following: He was engaged to perform at a house in South Kensington during an afternoon gathering, a sort of bun struggle. Arriving as usual in a humble four-wheeler and alighting at the front door he was told by a gorgeous footman that he had come to the wrong entrance, and was then shown into the servants' hall and given a glass of beer to amuse him until his presence was required in the drawing-room, the servants evidently regard- ing him at least one degree below the chimney sweep ! At another entertainment, this time in Queen's Gate, while standing in the drawing-room awaiting his turn to be funny, he entered into polite con- 98 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS versation with the son of the house, lately home from Eton. First he tried cricket, then football, to which the youth seemed quite cold, so at last Mr. Grain said, "What a charming piano you have." The youth shifted from one leg to the other, closed his eyes, and said, "Oh, it's a rotten old thing, but mother said it was good enough for you to thump on; she had the best one moved out of the room!" Mr. Grain used to tell these stories with a great show of amusement, but it was perfectly plain that they hurt his feelings. Dick Grain, as his intimates used to call him, was of gentle birth and well mannered (the two do not always go together), and an entertainer of the highest order. An emancipated schoolgirl once re- marked, "His show is one that is quite safe to take one's mother to see !" His brother, the well-known veteran barrister, died while I have been writing this book; he had a large practice, was full of humour, and told capital stories of himself and others, while he was never tired of talking about his brother Dick, to whom he was much attached and whose abilities he admired and appreciated. Dick Grain's barrister brother was legal adviser to the Licensed Victualler's Board and Association. Endless jokes were poked at the legal adviser by his brother Dick. Once when dining in De Vere Gardens with some friends, Mr. Corney Grain, the entertainer, sat on one side of me and Commander Beaumont (I for- Mr. Corney Grain FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 99 get his ship) on the other. Mrs. George Harvey, who was staying with me at the time, was there too, she was related to our host and hostess. During a slight pause in the conversation she said that she would like to run away with a certain lamp-shade in the room which she greatly admired; also that she wished some of the beautiful old-fashioned spoons and forks were hers. We thought no more of this until the time came for our departure and we proceeded to get into the brougham, only to find all available space taken up by the lamp-shade and family silver. This was the result of Mr. Grain and Captain Beaumont's mischief in consultation with our host! We had to wait some time to have it all returned to its proper place before we could enter the car- riage for home. All these cheery people have long ago joined the great majority except Mrs. George Harvey. Captain Beaumont was a little lame, the result of an accident at one of Captain Eyre Shaw's after- noons in Southwark Bridge Road. If I remember rightly these were held every other Thursday when Captain Shaw and his pleasant wife (who was I believe Portuguese or, at any rate, very foreign- looking), entertained their friends and let them see the fire-brigade drill and efTect rescues from top- story windows, people shot down fire-escapes and so forth. It was on one of these occasions, after the show was really concluded, that Captain Beau- mont (a brother of the late Lady Swansea) thought ioo FURTHER INDISCRETIONS he would show a small and admiring circle of friends what he could do, how accustomed he was to climbing great heights on rope ladders and so on while at sea. He therefore lashed a couple of ladders together while his host and the majority of his friends were having tea in the house; the picturesque lashing concluded, the ladder was placed against a high window and Captain Beaumont swarmed up it with cat-like rapidity, unfortunately the lashing was more picturesque than trustworthy, and when near- ing the top it collapsed ; the poor man falling with a crash at the feet of his scared friends. The result of this little attempt to entertain those present, and perhaps do a little show-off, resulted in his being slightly lame for the rest of his life. At the time we saw most of Mr. Grain his rooms were in Bond Street over a shop — I think it was a jeweller's — many delightful afternoons have we spent in that "upper part," as the house agents would describe it, with Mr. Grain and his piano. The drawing-room was large and lofty, looking on to Atkinson's "Smell shop," as he used to call the large scent shop at the corner of Bond Street and Burlington Gardens. The furniture of the room consisted chiefly of a grand piano and a "grand sofa," he said there was not room for much else when he was there. Oh yes ! there was a music stool described by its owner as a "weight-carrier." Poor man, he lived a little too soon, when I think of the miserable sums he was paid for his most FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 101 clever, amusing and always in good taste perform- ances compared with those paid to-day, say, for instance to George Robey or other funny men of the moment. I know at times Mr. Grain said he could not afford cabs to carry him to keep his engagements so was obliged to sally forth in enormous galoshes and umbrella, either on foot or by omnibus. Ten pounds was a very average sum paid to him for his services, afternoon or evening; I told him it was his own fault, he should raise his price, but he was too shy to do this, and said he felt he ought to ask less as he knew he grew less funny and would hate to be told so, he therefore preferred to jog along on the old lines. He really was quite extraordinarily shy and sensitive. A kind friend and bitter foe. It had been arranged one year that he should join our party at Henley and lunch with us in the Isthmian Club tent; we were to be a party of eight, counting Mr. Grain. When the morning for our jaunt arrived there was a heavy shower, but not enough to prevent our going. Just before we started a note and large brown- paper parcel was brought to me. On opening the missive I found Mr. Grain was "desolate" at being deprived of the pleasure of joining our party, but some oysters he had eaten the night before had "Gone the wrong way !" and he was not well enough to appear; as it was so wet he was sending one of his private canoes for my use, this turned out to be one of his enormous galoshes done up in the 102 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS brown-paper parcel. He hoped while we were en- joying ourselves canoeing about in it we would think kindly of the suffering owner. My young brother, who was one of the party, insisted on filling the galosh with lobster salad, strawberry ices and such delicacies, and sending it back in the evening with many kind enquiries and hopes that by" then the sufferer would be able to enjoy some of the Isthmian luncheon which had been put on one side for him. Much to our friend's annoyance he was dragged as a witness into the Labouchere-Lawson Case, which was the outcome of a row between those gentlemen outside the Beef Steak Club in Septem- ber, 1879. Having been subpoenaed, Mr. Grain was bound to appear. As it all happened so long ago, it may be well to recall the cause of the fracas. Mr. Labouchere, the brilliant editor of Truth, had for some years been saying unkind things of Mr. Edward Lawson (whose original name was Levy, to which in accordance to his uncle's wish had been added Lawson, and who later became Lord Burnham and proprietor of The Daily Tele- graph) holding him and his family up to ridicule both in Truth and the World, calling Mr. Lawson a disgrace to journalism, etc. Both were members of the Beef Steak Club. At last Mr. Lawson could stand it no longer and waiting outside the club for "Labby" gave him a whack on the head with his cane; he at once FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 103 wished to fight a duel in Belgium, but this was declined by Mr. Lawson because he said he only fought gentlemen and he did not consider Mr. Labouchere was one. After this an abusive letter dated October 1st was sent by Labby to Mr. Law- son and the former also published it. This led to an action for libel brought by Mr. Lawson and was heard before Mr. Justice Coleridge and a special jury in March, 1881. After a protracted trial in which Mr. Labou- chere conducted his own case and cross-examined Mr. Lawson on the Eastern question and some political topics that had appeared in The Daily Telegraph, the jury were unable to agree on a ver- dict, being, I believe, almost equally divided, so they were dismissed and the matter ended for the time being, after eight days had been wasted on the trial. The case caused a great deal of excitement and party feeling at the time. Mr. Labouchere was turned out of the Beef Steak Club, but brought an action against that club which he won, so he re- mained a member, but I should imagine not alto- gether a comfortable one. Poor Mr. Grain had a certain amount of fun poked at him by judge and jury as to his profession, the learned judge, if I am correctly informed, pre- tending he did not know who Mr. Grain was and apologising for his ignorance. Mr. Labouchere was at his best in his own home, an excellent, though at times alarming host, for 104 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS he was as full of pranks and jokes as a school- boy. Once Sir Willoughby Maycock was dining with him and his wife at Pope's Villa near Twick- enham, the only other guest being old Mr. Maxwell and his wife, the latter best known as Miss Brad- don the authoress. After dinner Labby conducted the gentlemen to the cloak room to wash their hands, whispering to Sir Willoughby to hurry up as he wanted to lock old Maxwell in as he was rather an old bore; Sir Willoughby having "hur- ried up'' the key was quietly turned in the door. At that time Miss Braddon was writing a book about Paris during the siege, where Mr. Labou- chere had been The Daily News correspondent (and afterwards brought out an amusing book over which I laughed at his account of endeavoring to cook a portion of elephant over a spirit stove!) Having locked in her husband, Labby calmly sat down and helped Miss Braddon for about twenty minutes with material for her book. Sir Wil- loughby meanwhile sat twiddling his thumbs in an agony of mind, wondering what on earth would happen; when a distant thumping was heard, which, of course, came from the unhappy man in the cloak-room. "I wonder where Mr. Maxwell can have got to," said Labby in a most innocent manner. "I'll go and see." Presently he returned with the poor old boy look- ing very cross, suspecting it was the result of one of Mr. Labouchere's pranks, though of course he FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 105 was told the door had a tiresome habit of sticking at times, and how dreadfully concerned his host was ! Labby was a magnificent humbug. Once I asked him why he chose the name Truth for his paper, and said that was the last thing any- body wished to be told. He replied, "Quite so, about themselves but not of other people !" I remember some impromptu tableaux got up one evening after dinner at our house. Mr. Augustus Harris impersonated the Prince of Wales (King Edward VII), and most wonderfully he did it. Mr. Corney Grain appeared as "Rags and Chatters" with his coat inside out showing very torn silk linings to the sleeves. After this they had a court- martial on Baron Halkett for having shaved off his moustache without Royal sanction. It must be explained that the Baron was a civilian, and had always been, we thought, extremely proud of his beautiful waxed moustache which stuck out dan- gerously at each side in fine stiff points. One day a girl made a bet he would not shave it ofl, he was too much attached to it. Behold next day he ap- peared without it. We hardly knew him. He was therefore court-martialed after dinner, no one be- ing more amused than himself. The Duke of Cambridge was presiding in the person of Mr. Augustus Harris, most wonderfully got up on the spur of the moment with a heavy grey moustache made of portions of a goatskin mat. ruthlessly cut off corners, where I was told it would never be missed, and stuck on with melted wax 106 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS candle. Mr. Corney Grain prosecuted and Mr. Joseph Chamberlain defended. The amount of fun and nonsense they managed to cram into half an hour was amazing. Mr. Grain with puckered brow explained how pained he was at having to prosecute his old friend for such a heinous offence, "Not from a sudden temptation but a premeditated crime, all for filthy lucre!" Mr. Chamberlain with eye-glass screwed firmly into his eye and nose looking more aggressive than ever, patted one finger emphatically in the palm of the other hand while he held forth on "The heroism of the accused who had so recently parted with so dear and close a companion that he had reared and watched over with loving care from its infancy until it reached three kilometers in length !" Shak- ing his finger angrily at the prosecutor he con- tinued, "And why has he done this thing, gentle- men? I will tell you," here he paused dramatically, "because after seriously mutilating the optic of a perfectly innocent girl with his moustache while she was walking peacefully down the Haymarket, he came to the conclusion that his hirsute decora- tion was a danger to the public, and when I tell you that the Baron will probably have to provide and pay rent on a new eye for the young lady, may even possibly have to keep her for the rest of his life, you will agree with me that he has suffered enough without the most unjust and indecent, yes, I say it again, indecent accusation from my learned friend FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 107 opposite (Corney Grain) that the motive was for 'filthy lucre !' " This is nearly word for word as I can remember it. The accused tried at intervals to have a voice in the matter, but was hastily thrust into a chair and told to leave the case in his (Mr. Chamber- lain's) experienced hands and trust to his skill. Then came the summing up of Mr. Augustus Harris, who with trembling voice said it was his painful duty — here he burst into tears and kept a large antimacassar he had seized off the end of the sofa to his eyes, while with the disengaged hand he produced from somewhere a black (lace) cap, borrowed from my old housekeeper, and with this hanging jauntily on one side of his sparsely covered pate condemned the miserable culprit, who had "Received so patient and fair a trial," to be taken hence and hanged till he be black in the face. It then became the duty of the prosecutor to remove the protesting prisoner. Mr. Chamberlain fought valiantly for his client. Mr. F. A. Inderwick, Q.C., who was also present, said if he had not seen it with his own eyes and heard it with his own ears he would never have believed Mr. Joseph Chamberlain would have so unbent, or indeed that he could have done so. By the way, I often wondered why Mr. Inder- wick was not made a judge. I think he was a little pained about it. He was certainly popular with both judges and clients and he had a pleasant voice and manner. He affirmed most modestly that his 108 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS success was due to Messrs. Lewis and Lewis of Ely Place. But I have run away from my story. It was all very silly and very funny, but refresh- ing to see great men frolicking, for they were great men in their several ways. Take Mr. Corney Grain first. He certainly was great in his own line. It must be grand to be able to cheer and amuse crowds of people day after day, sending them home refreshed, with some of the cobwebs swept away by hearty laughter. Then Mr. Augustus Harris, afterwards Sir Augustus Harris, who would dare say he was not a great man? How many have trembled in their shoes awaiting his verdict of "To be or not to be" when their plays have been offered for his accept- ance, or their legs were under his consideration with a view to dancing, while the theatrical auto- crat smiled that comfortable smile that seemed to say, "I have dined well and feel very happy," though at times he acknowledged he went to sleep while authors' great productions were being read to him, declaring he knew all about them never- theless. This great Drury Lane man, "Druriolanus," as some folk used to call him, tried to persuade me in 1889 to go on the stage. I assured him I should never be able to remember my part, and if I did I should render it differently each day according to my mood and never give the right cue. He said none of that would matter, he would give me a walking on part, but what he particularly wanted Mr. Inderwick, Q.( '. FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 109 me to undertake was the part of Lydia Languish in "The Rivals." At last he gave me up in despair. If I had known him well enough I should have liked to point out to him how his waistcoats troubled me and to suggest his having them cut with a deep point instead of round, it would have reduced his barrel-like appearance, and I did not like the braid trimming on them, but I did like his gardenias, without one of which I seldom saw him. He loved colour and had an artist's eye. He designed several dresses he wished me to have made and wear. They were really very striking, but a little too "voyant" for me with the exception of one ball dress in "sunset-coloured satin" he called it, draped in grey tulle. I called it flame colour. That dress did great execution, so much so that when wearing it at the Wellington Club one night before going on to a dance, I was asked by an elderly gentleman in high favour amongst Royal- ties if I would try and wean a certain Princeling's affections from an Irish girl to whom he was pay- ing too marked attention. I agreed to do my very best and threw myself heart and soul into the task with such success (no doubt owing to the flame-coloured dress designed by Mr. Harris) that I had to call fervently for someone else to be sent to act as counter-irritant mustard-blister fashion, for I was fairly entangled myself — I have never felt quite sure I did not miss the opportunity of my life on that occasion, but perhaps my humble role suits me best. I would no FURTHER INDISCRETIONS rather be a free mouse and roam where I like than a lioness in a gilded cage. In his youth I believe Mr. Harris travelled for some big silk merchants; he became a great man, I always think, through his firm belief in himself. I am afraid I must allow he was conceited, but a man who has practically made himself surely has some right to be. The day he became Key Holder of the Grand Lodge of Masonry, or whatever it is termed (for I know very little about the correct terms and sayings of the craft) was one of exulta- tion and triumph, and when decked out in Civic costume as one of the sheriffs of the City of Lon- don he was indeed proud and happy. One day when driving in the demi-state sort of carriage allowed to Sheriffs of the City during their term of office, he was sitting well forward so that all might see and admire, when it so happened he passed two friends walking. One, I think, was a little jealous of him and said to his companion, ''Bless my soul! do look at that man, I'll take a hundred pounds to a shilling one day he is King of England!" "Give me your shilling," the friend replied. Weeks and months rolled by and no further men- tion was made of the bet: but one morning there appeared in The Daily Telegraph an announcement that "Sir Augustus Harris arrived last night at Windsor Castle, and has taken possession of the Waterloo Chamber." This was cut out and for- warded to the man who had accepted the shilling Sir Augustus I [arris FURTHER INDISCRETIONS ni and written underneath it, "You know your bet, I told you at the time you were a fool to lay me such odds. After reading this surely you want to hedge or give me my shilling back." Of course the true story was the Drury Lane proprietor had arrived at the Castle with his stage manager to give a performance there which had been commanded by the Queen (Victoria). I rather think Sir Augustus Harris was the first of the Drury Lane people to be honoured with a Royal command. The knighthood was conferred on him for his civic connection with the City of London. I do not think we had any theatrical knights until King Edward VII came to the throne and placed the sword over Sir Henry Irving. The year Sir Au- gustus Harris was Sheriff was voted the best Lord Mayor's show ever seen. I am under the impression, but by no means sure, that Sir Augustus was one of the original members of the Savage Club when it was started in a saw- dusty sort of back-parlour in the neighborhood of Drury Lane. Those were days when the best actors, or per- haps I should say the most exalted, frequented what some called "pubs," others "taverns": there were no clubs such as the present generation have to shelter them. The Garrick then stood out alone, with its own sacred precincts and halo which few could surpass or assume. 112 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS When speaking - of this time at the Garrick a friend once said to me, "Actors have great pride, swank, jealousy, envy and malice, perhaps un- known to any other profession." Possibly that is so. Sir Augustus worked very hard at anything he undertook, sparing neither money nor trouble in staging his plays well. He was wise enough to get experts to criticise at his rehearsals when putting on anything requiring precise detail. A friend of mine once saved him from making a mistake that would have been an everlasting source of regret and annoyance to him. Sir Augustus was about to produce a great racing drama and asked my friend, who was a great racing man, if he would go to the final dress-rehearsal and tell him if all the details were quite correct and to be good enough to criti- cise severely. It is well his advice was sought, for there was a weighing-room scene in which many details were ludicrously wrong. When the performance was over and Sir Augustus asked if all were correct and it was pointed out to him that it was not correct for jockeys to be weighing themselves out without either trainer or owner being present, while the clerk of the scales, who was mounted on a verv high stool in front of a desk like a schoolmaster, should be sitting at a writing-table close beside the scales with a notebook in which he should be enter- ing the details. But for this kindly criticism at the eleventh hour FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 113 the scene might have shared the fate of Artemus Ward's famous panorama when presented to the audience for their admiration and they forcibly explained they did not think much of moonlight scenes without a moon, which had unfortunately been forgotten. In consequence some rude mem- bers of the audience threw chairs and ginger-beer bottles at the moonlit but moonless scene. Sir Augustus soon corrected his mistakes and all went well, the play having a great success. Theatrical people live in a world entirely their own, it is a wonderful life behind the scenes. One of the chorus girls at Drury Lane once said when at work she earned two pounds a week, but often had nothing to take at the end of it, as her fines for being late or for non-attendance often mounted to more than her salary. She hailed from the Antip- odes and said that when there she was known as the Australian prima donna, but at Drury Lane she never got beyond the chorus and payment on her part for non-attendance. Naturally prima donna airs would not go down in the chorus. Sir Augustus' sarcasms were at times biting, but he was a staunch friend, and when Oscar Wilde was in trouble he was one of the first to appear to stand bail for his friend. In consequence of this kindly act he had the annoyance of seeing in the papers the following morning that one of Mr. Wilde's greatest friends, Sir Augustus Harris, ap- peared to go bail for him. Poor Gus, as I have ii4 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS heard his friends call him, was mad with rage and some one described him to me as rushing about foaming at the mouth, and with the wings of his Inverness cape flying out behind him like some big angry bird. Now I have come to the great Joseph Chamber- lain, who looked out upon the world in amused complacency, no matter how heated people became in argument with him. The past held no attrac- tions for him, the future was always before him written large across his brain. I think few people have had so many friends, quarrelled with them so often, and made it up again as the great "J oe -" With Sir William Harcourt, for instance, Mr. Morley, Count von Bulow, even at one time with the Duke of Devonshire, with whom he served in both Liberal and Unionist Cabinets (the former from 1880 to 1885, the latter 1895 to 1903). I am sorry to say there were times when he was not always very courteous to those who differed with him in politics, being rather intolerant. Only his own particular views could be right. Again, few men have played so many parts as the almost self-educated business man from Bir- mingham, and few men have had such an aggra- vating manner at times; he seemed able to sting people into frenzy while keeping perfectly cool himself. He loved argument and was an agreeable conversationalist, at least so I thought, but of course I bowed before his superior wisdom. We all know that what he denounced with fer- FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 115 vour at one time he pleaded with vigour at another ; personally I see nothing wrong or perfidious in a man changing his opinions, rather do I think it a sign of a strong character to have the pluck to stand up and say, "I have changed my mind," in a world where the one immutable law is change. We must realise that what was true once need not be true always, and circumstances alter cases. That he was a wrecker of two parties has often been quoted against Joseph Chamberlain, but there again I see something to admire, it surely proved party feeling had nothing to do with his line of conduct, but the good of his country, progress, and the bettering of the lives of the working classes. He cared not which side he belonged to so long as he was at one with them on these points. He was a man with the instinct of politics; his hobby was the House of Commons, which however he often defied. I remember Mr. Chamberlain prophesying years ago the coming of the paid professional politician, and now they are here. There is no doubt he got on his colleagues' nerves at times, and once Mr. Balfour in well-chosen words reproved him, saying that he (Mr. Chamberlain) remembered too much that they belonged to different parties, but seemed to forget that they belonged to the same country. Mr. Chamberlain was fond of children, and told me he was glad his bairns had not been as tiresome as he was when a youth, confessing he had been n6 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS very troublesome, keeping his people in an agony of mind as to what he would do next. I do not know if the following story was of a member of his own family, but it is one he was fond of telling. It was of a child with a thirst for knowl- edge who kept asking his mother theological and natural history posers. First he wished to know who made flies ? then, who made grown-up people ? and so on. To each question the child's mother replied, "God did; He made everything." There was a pause, presently the child said, "Does God make rice pudding?" Fairly driven into a corner his mother replied, "Yes." "Then I wish He would eat it," replied this precocious little person. Once long ago when Mr. Chamberlain and I were choosing children's Christmas presents in Rose's toy shop in Sloane Street, I noticed that nothing attracted his attention but mechanical toys; he walked about winding up everything he could find, from jumping frogs to "puffer-trains," until he so seriously over-wound an engine that after a false start it declined any further action. I was inter- ested to see what he would do, especially as an elderly spinster belonging to the shop was watching his proceedings. He said, "I should like to have bought this thing, but it won't work!" "Indeed, sir," from the attendant in accents of surprise (having witnessed the trial trip), "I have another just like it." Mr. Chamberlain then said, "Oh, I'll buy this one if you'll put it right," and so the mat- ter ended. Having already collected a large pile FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 117 of things he wished to buy for various children, some for little Dudleys, some for little sick folk in Birmingham, I suppose to over-wind one engine was looked upon as of no consequence. I noticed he did not ask the price of anything, though he examined them carefully all over before deciding, so perhaps he could read some of the hieroglyphics with which everything was marked, but which was double Dutch to me. Happy thought! perhaps the toys had come originally from Birmingham, where the hieroglyphics had been invented. I think Mr. Chamberlain's most charming attri- bute was his devotion to his family, he simply adored them and they him ; it was very picturesque and real. This devotion was illustrated clearly when Mr. Austen Chamberlain made his first Budget speech. The strain on his father was acute, and when the youthful orator struck an attitude and also unhappily the inkstand which at once re- sponded by emptying itself on his notes, the lion- hearted father had to put his hand over his eyes, where it remained until the oration had been brought more or less happily to its finale ! Many people will remember the dainty dancing of Letty Lind and her little pipe of a voice singing something about "Oh ! Marguerite, I love thee and adore thee." I happened to know a good deal of her history; she was an engaging little person, not pretty but with a natural gentle and pleasing manner. I was one day in a bonnet shop of one of the u8 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS fashionable ladies who were running millinery establishments, when Lettie Lind came in carrying a large canvas bag. "I have just got my wages and came to pay my bill," she said. "Help yourselves" (throwing it on the sofa), "but don't take it all, there are several others anxiously waiting for some of it." While one of the assistants helped herself, that is to say, looked up what was owing and took the amount and wrote out a receipt, Letty Lind tried on a variety of head gear, saying, "I want some- thing very quiet or my young man won't take me out with him," and she put her head on one side with a merry little laugh, for we knew all about it. When the receipt was handed to her, she said, "Shove it into the bag, please, and tie it up, will you?" Having selected all she required and sought my advice as to what would be most suitable, she picked up her money bag and with a cheery nod to us all walked out, never having counted what was left of her wages, or troubled about the matter in the smallest degree. Marion Hood was another "Gaiety-girl," much admired by a masculine member of my family who asked me if I would let him bring her to see me. He wanted me to know how really nice she was, and that her beautiful golden hair was "not painted!" This struck me as a trifle original. Her voice also was not a strong one, very different from the voices of Violet Cameron and Florence St. John, but Marion Hood was certainly pretty. Those responsible for my bringing up thought FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 119 actors and actresses improper people. Not until I was married did I have the pleasure of seeing any play other than Shakespearian. A ballet I had never seen, the very word made my mother's face lengthen, while my father shook his head, his eyes twinkling as he laughed happily to himself at the memories the word recalled. In his young days he was a great deal in town and, being both handsome and witty, was made a good deal of, seeing life in all its phases. It must have been somewhere about 1880 that I saw my first ballet at the Alhambra. I was pre- pared for shocking sights, I did not quite know what, but felt very advanced and delightfully wicked. What I really saw was a stage full of darling little children dressed in nightgowns which they held daintily up here and there, just enough to show pretty little pink toes and ankles while they danced about with white puffs in their hands, puff- ing their own and each other's faces and necks. It was one of the prettiest scenes I can remem- ber, and the children looked as if they enjoyed it almost as much as we did. Then I remember what I believe is unusual, namely the ballet mistress being called for, and a grumpy-looking woman in a black dress with a little cane in her hand came and made stiff little bows to us. I daresay she was feeling very pleased at the success of her teaching, but I think she was possibly one of those people who find it painful to smile, and after all what did it 120 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS matter so long as she was pleased in her heart, which I hope she was. After this I was quite determined to see more of life and the things supposed to be so wicked. I told my husband I wanted to go to the celebrated Evans' at Covent Garden, which I understood was a frisky and reprehensible club, being quite prepared to see again some lovely show perhaps after the fashion of the ballet. My husband, after much persuasion, promised to take me if I would wear many thick veils, as he said he would not like anybody to recognise me, so tied up in gauze veils I went and we sat in a box, which I found exceedingly dull and uninteresting. We came away again having seen nothing more wicked than a few dull-looking people walking about talking to one another and drinking coffee, etc., while a band played. But I was in good company at any rate, for the Prince of Wales was in the box next to us with Lady Molesworth (widow of Sir William Moles- worth of Pencarrow), who had at one time trun- dled an organ through the streets of London, be- fore Mr. Temple Weston met and married her. She married again, Sir William Molesworth being her second husband. She was a fascinating woman and became most popular with Kings and Queens. It was really rather disappointing that the wicked world I had heard so much about should be so tame, and came to the conclusion people must have unpleasant minds i£ they saw harm in such pretty FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 121 things as ballets and such dull things as Evans's Club, which is now no more. I soon found the dances and tragedies being played around me daily- were much more surprising than anything I could find on the stage. It has always been rather on my conscience having brought up to town one season a young and unsophisticated butler unversed in the ways of the world. My sister and I were renting a house in Cadogan Place for a few months from a very pretty widow. It was not long before we had mis- givings as to the wisdom of having brought up the young man, as he displayed so much concern and appeared so shocked at anything to which he was unaccustomed. One day he came with a white scared face and presented us with a blue document which he said a rude man had shoved into his hand at the front door and then ran away. He did not know what to do and sought our advice. On examination it proved to be a writ for the payment of a tombstone for our landlady's husband who had been dead some eight years. Never having seen anything of the kind before he was greatly moved and distressed, being con- vinced he was going to be thrown into prison for debt. It was most unjust and he did not think much of London ways ! CHAPTER VI A Long-forgotten Law Case — An Anomalous Finding — A Mock Marriage — Ruin — The Attitude of the Church — Reparation, Too Late — Sudden Death and a Suicide — Lord Cathcart goes Lame, Explains the Reason — Lord Greenock admires the Fair Sex — Lady Sykes' Peculiari- ties — Contretemps at a Dinner Party — She Drives White Donkeys Tandem — Sir Tatten Sykes and His Great- coats — Mr. Glynn Vivian objects to Coloured Grasses and Locks Up the Silver — Lady Caroline Maddon and Her Daughter — A Search for Eligible Young Men — An After-Dinner Recitation. IT may be supposed that all my remembrances are of a frivolous order, far from it. I have been entrusted with some desperately tragic secrets, which are still locked up in my memory amongst other negatives turned with their faces to the wall, which will go down to the grave with me still locked up and with their faces to the wall. I have witnessed heart-breaking scenes and taken part in a drama or two, but I am trying to avoid anything sad in this book, for surely the world is sad enough at present without my pen piling on the agony — as indeed it could if I were to write of all I remember. But there is one case I feel I must refer to, which caused a tremendous sensation in the early eighties. 122 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 123 It seemed to interest the whole civilised world, special editions of certain newspapers came out with nothing else but news of the case; yet when I asked a number of people to help me to remember certain dates in connection with it, nobody remem- bered anything about the tragedy. A few certainly allowed that they thought they did dimly remember hearing of it; one to whom I referred being a dis- tinguished journalist, whom one expected would be certain to remember the affair minutely. I refer to the Langworthy case. Sensational trials are apparently very short lived in the public memory. Perhaps because they seldom have his- torical significance, although so full of human in- terest. The Tichborne trial seems to be one of the few exceptions, for it is still a name if nothing more, although at the time sons quarrelled with fathers and homes were divided against themselves in the fury of partisanship, almost comparable with that in American homes during the Civil War. The Langworthy case was remarkable chiefly as a record of villainy that to my mind seems almost unique, and leaves one dumbly wondering at the dark possibilities of cruelty that lie in the human heart. It also shows the apparently anomalous case of a woman who first obtained a decree nisi with £1500 a year alimony from the Courts and subsequently £20,000 for breach of promise of marriage against the same man. The law is a wonderful institution. The way I came to know so much about the case 124 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS was through being asked by Dr. Godson, the great ladies' doctor of those days, if I would go and see a patient of his who was in great trouble and ill- health as well as practically penniless. Of course I went, and from Mrs. Langworthy's own lip.s heard her pitiful story, which as it appears to have been entirely forgotton, I relate briefly. The Mrs. Langworthy of the case had been a Miss Long, the daughter of well-to-do people in Ireland, her father being estate agent at one time to the Marquess of Downshire and later to Lord O'Neile. She was a tall, handsome girl and gifted, as was proved by her passing in 1873 as one °^ tne senior candidates at the Dublin University, taking hon- ours in French, Latin, Euclid and Algebra. Her composition on English literature was chosen as good enough to be read aloud by Profes- sor Dowden. Fired with her success she then went to Cambridge, where she shone in Latin, Divinity, etc. About th'is time her father lost most of his money, and Miss Long decided she would cost him nothing more and went out as governess. During a visit to Paris with her brother, who was staying at that comfortable old-fashioned Hotel Bedford, she met the man who was to ruin her life, namely, the exceedingly rich and not ill-looking Mr. Lang- worthy, with great estates in South America, a magnificently appointed yacht, French chef and all the luxuries and comforts which usually surround FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 125 men with large fortunes. At the time he became enamoured of Miss Long he was a widower. His first wife, Lady Alice, sister of the second or third Earl of Limerick, died at sea in 1876, under what circumstances I do not know. Mr. Langworthy proved a devoted if somewhat dictatorial lover, and an engagement quickly fol- lowed on their first meeting, but Miss Long was told under no circumstances must his mother know anything about it as she might disinherit him; the engagement must be a secret. During this time he persuaded Miss Long to go for a little cruise in his yacht, having provided a suitable ballast of chaperonage. They stayed at Cherbourg for a day or two, and while there he introduced his fiancee to a number of people, in- cluding the Hon. Cecil Cadogan, Mr. Dennison and others. While at Cowes Mr. and Mrs. Vereker invited them to dinner. All was comfortable and plain sailing. One day Mr. Langworthy while at Cherbourg asked Miss Long to go for a drive with him to Caen ; they looked at the cathedral and then taking both her hands said, "I want you to marry me at once; I cannot wait any longer for you and have arranged everything." She was entirely taken by surprise and objected. While he pleaded she turned over in her mind all the circumstances, and feeling there could be nothing but love to influ- ence him, as she was penniless except for her own earnings, consented, knowing nothing about French marriage law. 126 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS The carriage was told to stop before a Catholic Church some miles out in the country from Caen. Here awaited them (all having evidently been arranged) a priest in a black cassock and a fat, disagreeable smile, who read some sort of a service in Latin. As a matter of fact the whole thing was a fraud; seemingly such things can be arranged where money and villainy are not wanting. There were many interesting features in the story at this time, much too lengthy and complicated to relate here, but various thoughts came to her mind mak- ing Miss Long doubtful about the legality of this marriage ceremony, and suggesting that she would be happier with a second ceremony. Mr. Langworthy, having had the legal training of a barrister, knew how to turn his knowledge to account, said, certainly if she wanted another cere- mony she should have one. This time the chaplain of the American Seaman's Mission at Antwerp performed it, the divine's name being the Rev. Doc- tor Potts, a member of the Presbyterian Church. What Mr. Langworthy knew and his unfortu- nate dupe did not know was that only civil mar- riages are valid in Belgian law. However, in all good faith she had taken part in two ceremonies, the one near Caen in September, 1882, the second in January, 1883, at Antwerp. After this latter Mr. Potts entered the following in his register: — "Antwerp, January 10th, 1883. — Edward Lang- worthy, England, widower, 35 years old. Mildred FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 127 Pallise Long, Belfast (Ireland), maiden, 27 years old. Marriage ceremony by Rev. Arthur Potts." This was duly signed by the witnesses, one being Mrs. Potts, the other a Mrs. Bailey, whom I think was acting companion, chaperon or something of the kind, I have forgotten what. A copy of the certificate was handed to Mrs. Langworthy, but it was taken away by her hus- band, who said he would send it to his solicitors for safe keeping, and. he would mark it private and important. He then made his wife promise to keep the marriage secret for a year as he did not wish his mother to know anything about it. A happy time followed in the yacht; Mr. Lang- worthy seemed to be deeply in love with his wife; it was all glorious and the days chased each other like some love poems under sunny skies They stayed a few days at Lisbon, where Mr. Langworthy introduced his wife to Lady Ashton, Lord Francis Cecil and others (this is a point to bear in mind). From Lisbon, if I remember correctly, they sailed for Buenos Ayres, where Mr. Langworthy owned property. During the voyage his wife told him she expected to become a mother. From this moment his manner entirely changed and, instead of ex- pressing pleasure, exclaimed, "We must put the little beast out to nurse." By degrees he now be- came so brutal it was forced upon her he was hoping his treatment, drugs and starvation, would kill the child, and possibly the mother also. 128 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Driven nearly mad by his treatment, one evening she got out of her bed and went in search of her husband, threw her arms round him and implored him to say why he had so changed. He then told her not to make a fool of herself, she knew per- fectly well she was not his wife and the child would be illegitimate, and as this had happened she must leave the yacht on reaching Buenos Ayres and go home again at once; if the affair became known it would be his ruin. Without allowing her to land at their destination, he put her on board a French tramp steamer with- out a deck house, that having been washed away on its last voyage, and of course without either a doctor or stewardess. Mrs. Langworthy begged for some baby clothes, and was given a box containing a few yards of flannel and calico, and £50 in her pocket and sent off home! So back to England she came full of misery and shame with nothing to prove the story she had to tell but her wedding ring and the baby. Her pride would not let he'r seek her people, whom she knew would wish to help her but could not afford it. To use Mrs. Langworthy 's own words to me, "When I first arrived I tramped London trying to find some clergyman to take up my case for me and see me righted ; I could get help from none. One told me he had heard stories like that before and was sorry he could do nothing for me." Another, living in some state in Grosvenor Square, who preached FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 129 regularly in a fashionable chapel not far from Berkeley and Grosvenor Squares, was sitting one evening after dinner before a comfortable fire sip- ping coffee from delicate china and toying with a gold spoon, surrounded by expensive fur rugs, books and comforts of all sorts, when Mrs. Lang- worthy sought his help and told her story. He did not rise from his chair while the poor woman poured forth her tale and implored him to help her. It was a wet night and she was wet through, having tramped the streets all day in hopes of find- ing some one to help her, her boots were worn through in places and her teeth chattered from cold and want of food. She eventually was told he did not believe a word of her story, it was too impossible, but if it was true she must "Have faith." Poor soul ! she asked how that was going to find food for her child and herself and turned bitterly away. She described to me her despair as she once more walked along the wet pavements and medi- tated drowning herself and her child. Passing down Conduit Street she noticed a brass plate on a door with the name of Lumley and Lumley, so- licitors, printed on it, she had not tried them, but would do so first thing next morning. She had already tried several solicitors, but she was desti- tute, friendless, broken in health, the law and the Church refused to help her, justice was her only weapon, while the whole force of the Langworthy's i 3 o FURTHER INDISCRETIONS immense wealth was thrown into the scale against her. The treatment meted out to her by the Anglican divines is a black and lasting disgrace to their Church and the system that produced them. Her husband's relations would not listen to her, and this is the plight she was in when she entered the offices of Messrs. Lumley and Lumley in Con- duit Street. They listened to her story, gave her money to go on with, took the trouble to collect the necessary evidence to prove the ceremonies that had taken place and undertook to fight the case for her. Magnificently they did it through all the courts for four years. Mr. Robert Lumley I do not remember meeting, but Mr. Theodore Lumley I am glad to have known, for he did for this defenceless, broken-hearted woman what not one single shep- herd of Christ's flock would do. Another revolting feature about the treatment from which this unhappy woman suffered, was the attitude of her own sex, the lodging-house woman where she lodged turned her out on hearing she was not living with her husband! Others treated her as if she was one of the lowest of those who walk the streets for their living. Even had that been the case, they should have shown some humanity to a suffering sister. I did what I could for her, and by degrees one after another helped her; but that she got justice in the end and her life made possible during the long years while the case was in the courts is en- FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 131 tirely due to Messrs. Lumley and Lumley, the so- licitors, and to The Pall Mall Gazette, who took her case up warmly, collected money for her, published special editions of their paper with all the details of the case as it unfolded itself from day to day. They also brought out a little booklet or pamphlet, entitled A Romance of the Law Courts, Mrs. Lang- worthy's Trials and Triumphs. Anyone wishing to read all the particulars of this extraordinary case cannot do better than get a copy and read it, if there are any now to be had. Mrs. Langworthy's troubles were, however, not yet over, though the learned judges held her mar- riage to be illegal, but a marriage "in fact" and granted her £1500 alimony. Mr. Langworthy had fled to America, refused to pay and was nowhere to be found. His solicitors and counsel worked indefatigably to delay any steps taken by Mrs. Langworthy's solicitors to obtain the money for her. The husband's wealth was a terrible weapon. I have been told great London papers even refused, through the influence of Mr. Langworthy's agents, to insert her lines in their agony columns. Goods of his, seized to pay his debts to his wife, were instantly claimed by his mother as her prop- erty and therefore inviolate. While all this was taking place Mrs. Langworthy was often in great need, and but for the kindly help of The Pall Mall Gazette and Messrs. Lumley and Lumley would surely have gone mad. 132 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Twenty thousand pounds on paper did not help her much. Her husband was made a bankrupt, but he had made his English property over to his moth- er. In the end the victim triumphed, having fought hard for her child, but there was no getting away from the fact that the strain had told upon her considerably. She was aged and broken down at the end of the four years almost beyond recognition. The end of these people was as tragic as their lives. Mrs. Langworthy rejoined her husband and forgave him, she died suddenly when in Paris with him and he committed suicide next day. It is impossible to picture the state of a man's mind who could be so systematically cruel to a woman who had done him no wrong. As I congratulated Mrs. Langworthy on her vic- tory I felt a lump come into my throat, but I remem- bered her as she was when I first saw her in the early days of her trouble and mentally compared her with what she was after four years' hard fight- ing. She had won the day, but the heart, health and spirit to enjoy her triumph had gone. In a measure it was Dead Sea fruit. The last time I saw the poor woman was when on my way to Scarborough, and she was going abroad in search of health. Scarborough reminds me of many things and many people, Worsleys, Caleys, Sitwells, Londes- boroughs, Cathcarts and many more. Old Lord Cathcart, the 3rd earl, was a fine-look- ing old man with a profusion of grey hair, a big FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 133 grey moustache and peculiar grey beard brushed out side ways, whisker fashion, with a funny little imperial in the middle, growing from immediately under his lip, very tall, thin and latterly very pecu- liar, as was the fashion in those days. Once I remember meeting him walking down Prince of Wales' Terrace going very lame. I asked if it was gout? He eagerly repudiated the idea, saying, "No, it is my wife's hot-water bottle that has burnt a hole in my foot, and I am on my way to take rooms for myself at the other side of the town. I shall leave the whole cussed family to take care of itself!" This he did for a time, taking lodgings at the far side of the town, but not having given no- tice to his family of his intentions there was a hue and cry after him, but he was spotted at last and dug out. He had married very early and was an elderly man when first I remember him. He had taken a keen interest in county matters the greater part of his life. At the age of thirty he was chairman of the Quarter Sessions and considered very young to hold that office. The interests of the Royal Agricultural Society occupied much of his time and he was elected president. The French also paid him the compli- ment of electing him to the Societe des Agriculteurs de France. Horse-breeding also interested him, in fact he led the useful healthy life of the country squire, 134 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS being one of the old school, so pleasant to meet, with courteous manners and kindly heart. Lord Greenock, the late Lord Cathcart, took after his father in height, but lacked his good car- riage, having a habit of walking leaning forward with his head well in advance of his body, and usu- ally with his hands behind his back. He was an admirer of the fair sex, and I remem- ber once at Hurlingham, in the days when the pretty ladies of that date were known under the title of "professional beauties," we had been watching polo, and a number of these beautiful ladies happened to be strolling about. Mrs. Langtry, Mrs. Wheeler, Airs. Patrick Campbell and Mrs. Cornwallis-West to wit. The latter passed us leaning on her hus- band's arm. Lord Greenock, who was standing near, followed her with his eyes, and is reported to have said, "Ah, she is his wife in this world; but she will be mine in the next." It is well for our peace of mind that we do not know all the things we are supposed to have said when young and frivolous and just as well perhaps we do not remem- ber all we have said in those long days ago. Lord Greenock's sister, Lady Cecilia, who mar- ried Captain Rose of the ioth Hussars was utterly unspoilt and a wonderful amateur acrobat. When dining once long ago with the Lyalls in Lucknow, I was sitting on the sofa talking to Padre Adams, who was much loved by us all, when someone said to Lady Cecilia, "I wish you would show us some of your acrobatic tricks." She was sitting on the The Third Earl Cathcart FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 135 end of the same sofa as we were. In a moment she turned the neatest somersault over the back of the sofa and came up from the other side between the padre's feet and mine all smooth and collected in an astonishing manner. The dear padre was full of admiration but a little breathless over the surprise of this unaccustomed drawing-room performance. At the fall of the leaf Scarborough was the fashionable resort of most of the county families, and I never think of that town, or York Station, without pictures of various people arising before my eyes, one of whom was Lady Sykes, wife of Sir Tatten Sykes of Sledmere. They were a diverting couple. Lady Sykes was especially remarkable and a very amusing person. Her appearance was rather striking owing to the splendid generosity of her figure, accentuated by the smallest possible waist in the middle. This with her extra-high heels and carrying voice helped to make her a very well- known figure of that day, and whatever country house you went to stay in there was Lady Sykes. She was very amusing and popular. I remember once sitting opposite to her at dinner at the Newcomens of Kirkleatham Hall, Redcar. She was dressed in creamy white satin — I really hardly know how to tell the rest of the story — but the fact was the bodice of this beautiful dress was not as ample as the wearer. I was very young and very shy in those days and felt anxious and nervous. Several of the gallant diners seemed much struck by the effect and a very young footman was 136 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS so interested while standing over her that he upset a dish of beetroot and vinegar all over her shoulders and dress. It was all too terrible. I can shut my eyes now and see again the beetroot sliding over undulations and remember the suppressed shrieks of horror that went up from the table. The look of terror on the footman's face when he saw what he had done was tragic. He made a start as if to retrieve some of the beetroot but was chased away by the butler. Mr. Clarke-Jervoise, who had taken me into din- ner, said if the accident had happened to me I could not have blushed more! Lady Sykes was quite a pretty whip and caused some sensation one autumn in London by driving a couple of white donkeys tandem in a little gover- ness cart down Piccadilly and up Bond Street. I arrived at the door of Russell and Allen's one day at the same time that she did, and very neatly she reined up while a small "tiger" about the size of a postage stamp jumped out and went to the head of the leader. This diminutive little person was as well turned out as the rest of the equipage. His little legs encased in well-fitting breeches and the sweetest thing in boots twinkled as he ran to the animals' heads, his well-brushed hat and cockade nearly overbalancing him. It was all very smart. I told Lady Sykes she would never dare turn round in that part of the narrow street while so full of traffic. She replied, "You wait and see!" I did, and confess it was a very masterly performance, FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 137 and when the small boy about the size of a postage stamp nipped up behind and sat down with a wump, folding his arms across his manly bosom almost on a level with his chin, I could plainly see he was thoroughly enjoying himself, thought it was all A. 1., as indeed it was. Sir Tatten used to complain at times that his wife was extravagant. She in return told him it was quite unnecessary to wear five greatcoats at a time, that also was extravagance. She told him once it was "a superfluity of naughtiness." He was a peculiarly shy and nervous man. It was quite true he did wear two or three greatcoats, — and why not, if it so pleased him. When riding or walking about the estate he peeled them of! when they became oppressive and handed them to a ser- vant to carry until required again. At one time he grew rather irritable when his wife's financial arrangements were being adjusted, and he did not recognise his signature on some of his cheques. I remember there was some bother about it, but it is a long time ago, I have forgotten the particulars. He was also displeased when Lady Sykes bought "La Fleche" at Baron Hirsh's sale, as she had not the money to pay for the horse and he did not wish to find it. Mr. Henry Cholmondley, a nephew of Sir Tat- ten's, lived with him, and was in the house when the great fire took place at Sledmere. Fortunately no- body was burnt, and as it occurred in the middle of the day, most of the valuables were saved. Mr. C. 138 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Prior, of Adstock Manor, was also there at the time. He was a life-long friend of Sir Tatten's. The house has lately been rebuilt on much the same lines as the original. Sir Tatten will always be remembered as a great breeder of thoroughbred yearlings for sale. The Sledmere yearlings fetched fabulous prices at Don- caster. This well-known and liked Yorkshire baronet died at the Hotel Metropole in London in 1913 from pneumonia at the age of eighty-eight. He certainly did embarrassing things at times, but then who does not? I can remember a number of odd things done by my friends at different times. Mr. Glynn Vivian (brother of Lord Swansea) at a party in his own house in Eaton Square came into the drawing-room when it was full of people and Isador de Lara, or some such musical celebrity, was about to play, and walking up to his wife who was near me complained to her about a huge vase standing on the floor near us filled with towering plumes of dried grasses, red, yellow and green. These vast dyed fronds were perhaps a rather Victorian decoration and Mr. Vivian's taste evi- dently did not lie that way. He therefore mounted on a chair, filled his arms with the grasses and threw them out of the window. I gathered this vase and grasses had been an innovation and he did not approve. At another time when people were expected to dinner, at the last moment something upset him and FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 139 he locked up all the silver ! Frantic notes were sent round to ourselves amongst others asking us to bring spoons and forks with us ! Mrs. Vivian was a very beautiful woman, a Miss Craigie-Halkett before she married. I often heard her called the "Virgin Mary" from her likeness to some of the beautiful holy pictures, and people looked out for her in the fashionable twelve-to-two parades in the Park, when we all looked forward to a sight of our dignified and beautiful Queen Alexandra, then Princess of Wales. Some of my women friends have been quite as entertaining as the men. Lady Caroline Maddon, elder sister of the playmates of my youth, Lady May Mostyn and Lady Lina Lyndon, already men- tioned in my other book of recollections,* was one of the most indefatigable match-makers and quite untiring in the interests of her family. Once when my youngest brother was giving a party conjointly with my husband and myself at the Lyric Club in its Bond Street days, Lady Caroline came round a few days before to know what eligible young men had accepted our invitations. Mrs. George Harvey was staying with us at the time and her bachelor cousin, Lord Hopetown, having been amongst the invited we enlarged upon his many advantages as an example of the elegant and beauteous young men who were flocking to our party, and Lady Caroline went away quite happy. On the evening of our party we were asked at * Memories Discreet and Indiscreet. 140 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS intervals by our friend if Lord Hopetown had arrived. He had not at the time we were asked, so Mrs. Harvey conceived the idea of keeping Lady Caroline amused and happy by introducing a very good-looking man to her who had been in one of the Highland Regiments and lately married. He was not particularly well-endowed with worldly goods, but was told he must talk very big to Lady Caroline about his yachts, race-horses, etc. This he was doing magnificently, while we nodded occasional encouragement when someone came up and asked the man how his bride was! Another time during that same season, when Mrs. Harvey was staying with us, we were dining with the Maddons in Chester Square. After dinner our hostess asked if we would like to hear her daughter recite. The reply was in the affirmative from some of the guests. Personally, I fight shy of recitations, they always make me feel hysterical, especially when delivered by amateurs. What made this particular occasion so noticeable was the fuss that was made over the unfortunate reciter. First she had to stand against a heavy red curtain. Then Mrs. George Harvey, who was tall, fair and hand- some (as was Miss Maddon), was requested to move, as Lady Caroline said, "You won't mind moving, will you, Mrs. Harvey? it quite spoils the effect two fair people being so near to one an- other." A general post then took place and every- body felt uncomfortable, conversations interrupted, chairs scraped about the room, and at last "Silence" FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 141 was proclaimed and the recitation began. The re- citer is now Lady Cardigan, and has done her duty by presenting her lord with an heir. We all felt sorry for the poor girl having such a fuss made which quite spoilt the effect that might otherwise have been produced. Fortunately Miss Maddon had become used to her mother's arrangements and was not upset in any way, in fact I think she rather liked it. CHAPTER VII The Duchess of Montrose — Her Three Husbands — Pigeon Shooting at Hurlingham — Queen Victoria's Veto — The Duchess Has a Toss — She Speaks Her Mind — The Prince of Wales an Eye-witness — The Prince Tries to Avoid a Racing Rumpus — Too Late — Some Curious Betting Transactions — The Duchess Expresses Her Opinion of Women — Women's Clubs — Why They are not More Successful — Some Soap-lifters. I HAVE met some famous sportswomen at one time and another in my life as well as famous sportsmen, but as I am dealing with them in another book later, I must refrain now from giving accounts of their prowess and refer only to their personalities. One of the greatest sportswomen I ever met was Caroline, Duchess of Montrose, sporting in every sense of .the word, having owned many racehorses and three husbands. She was a great character in the seventies and eighties. Whenever I met her Emerson's clever saying, "What you are speaks so loud I cannot hear what you say," recurred to me. Pretend as much as we like, we certainly cannot radiate anything unlike our real selves, try as we may. It always seemed to me she wished the world to think her a hard, cynical woman of dashing 142 SiP The Duchess of Montrose FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 143 daring character, whereas she was really kind and tender-hearted, looking for sympathy and apprecia- tion as her daily food. While pretending she did not care the least what anybody said or thought of her, she really cared a great deal. She was a daughter of the 2nd Lord Decies, and married her first husband, the 4th Duke of Mont- rose, in 1836. What her age was when she married I do not know exactly, so we will suppose it was sweet seventeen. Her second venture was with Mr. Stirling Crawford, a fine sportsman, and thirdly, with Mr. Henry Milner, m.v.o., d.s.o., who had just turned twenty-four years of age when he led his bride of some sixty-nine summers to the altar at Putney on July 26th, 1888. Mr. Crawford died in 1883. The first two husbands left her through the de- cree of a Higher Power, the third she left for other reasons. I think I may describe the Duchess as a very jolly, happy woman. She enjoyed thoroughly all the good things she was able to command and, what is more to the point, knew she was having a good time. Mr. Stirling Crawford, the second husband, was a very popular man and an excellent shot, one of the founders of the pigeon-shooting shows which for some years were so fashionable. They were first held in the old Red House at Battersea, and at Hornsey Wood in the North of London, now called Finsbury Park. He was amongst the first also to 144 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS put gun to shoulder at Hurlingham. It was at the latter place that women first became enamoured of the sport that was christened later by one of the leading London papers "The slaughter of the doves." The men all had their handicap distance fixed up just as you now see on golf links. Professional betting men were not allowed at Hurlingham, though I believe this was not the case at the Gun Club. As soon as Hurlingham became popular it was bought for the purpose of pigeon-shooting from Mr. Naylor, the owner of "Macaroni" who won the Derby in 1863. At one time we all used to flock down to see the shooting at Hurlingham. The women were placed on the left-hand side of the traps and were supposed to be non-betters, but did not consider it betting when the wagers were in gloves or scent ! The shooting men were ranged on the other side and had the advantage of some shade from a huge walnut tree, under which they gambled freely. The women had to provide themselves with shade from their parasols. These meetings in the earlier days of their fame were most instructive, simple and entertaining. Captain Bachelor used to be the "bookie" on the Saturday afternoon for the chief prize at long odds against each individual shooter. It was always ready money, and the secretary used to file on penny FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 145 files the fiver' entrance fees much as tradesmen people do their accounts. All betted heavily. The highest in the land were bitten with the pigeon-shooting craze. The Prince of Wales, the Duke of Edinburgh and many crowned heads of Europe were fairly regular attendants at the meet- ings. At last Queen Victoria, hearing of the shooting of the poor little trapped birds and of a certain dispute there had been over some heavy betting, put a veto on the meetings as far as any of her belongings or Court were concerned. This was a terrible blow, and all the shooting fraternity went about with long faces muttering imprecations. Then for a short time Hurlingham felt itself out in the cold and in a measure in disgrace. The place then drifted by degrees to its present stage, trees were cut down in a neighbouring apple orchard and turned into a polo ground, but shooting was not entirely abandoned. Eventually in the zenith of its fame there was both polo and shooting. I have strayed away rather from the Duchess of Montrose, but it was thinking of her that brought back dear old Hurlingham to my mind, and the part played there so often by Mr. Crawford. It was here also that the poor Duchess quite un- willingly distinguished herself while looking on at the shooting. Arm-chairs, luxurious seats and lounges were unheard of in those days at these meetings; simple wooden schoolboy forms placed in rows were provided. The Duchess seeing room 146 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS on one of these occupied by other lookers-on perched herself upon the end of it. All were watch- ing Mr. Crawford's shooting with anxious eyes — it had been heavily betted on. It so happened on this particular day there was a very full attendance, the Prince of Wales, the Duke of Edinburgh and a number of royalties looking on. Suddenly great excitement was caused by Mr. Crawford's brilliant shooting and people jumped up suddenly, including the men sitting on the same bench as the Duchess, with the natural result that the bench stood on its head and so did she. Her parasol, which she had been holding over her head, took the opportunity to shut up like a candle-extinguisher. It was a nasty and surprising toss for a big heavy woman, and it was not in the days of hobble skirts and black silk stockings. It was a great shame to laugh, but no one could help it, even the perfect-mannered Prince of Wales had to pretend he did not see while endeavouring to hide his amusement. The only person unable to enjoy the joke was the lady herself. Usually none were more ready to be amused, but for once her cheery face was clouded as she picked herself up, and turned on the man standing nearest to her holding his sides with laughter. Naturally this incensed her, and she told him her opinion of his manners. To make matters worse this individual, who happened to be an Irishman, while profuse in apologies and hopes that she was none the worse, said he had no idea she was such an acrobat ! This FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 147 complicated matters somewhat and while some drew forth immaculate silk handkerchiefs and dusted the good lady down she advised her laughing Irish friend to go on laughing and to hold his fat vulgar sides while doing so. I must not leave the subject of Hurlingham with- out mentioning the old gardener who had been in charge for many years. When the place was con- verted into the smart club it became later, the poor old man was put into livery, and he had to stand at the gate as the members and their friends ar- rived. He was dreadfully pained. It was bad enough to be obliged to wear a long dark green sort of frock-coat with brass buttons and gold braid, but when it came to trousers with gold braid, and a tall hat ornamented in the same way, it was almost more than he could bear, his self-consciousness being quite painful. I think everybody remembers that the Duchess of Montrose was well known on the race-course. A member of the Jockey Club once said to me in connection with the Duchess's racing, "Like most women who come racing and take an active part in the management of the horses and so forth, she is a nuisance. Crawford is old and feeble and allows his missus to hold the reins." At this time and during the lifetime of her sec- ond husband she raced under the name of Crawford and won many classic races. After his death she ran them under the name of Mr. Manton. As a matter of fact, I know she did exactly what 148 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS she liked and, at one time and another, caused a good deal of trouble both before and after her husband's death. As she would listen to all sorts of tales she gradually became most suspicious of her surroundings generally. She was always changing her commissioners and engaging new ones to put her money in, her chief fault being she expected all the long prices. It was over a little affair of this kind that she got herself disliked. There was quite a hostile demonstration against her at Newmarket in October, 1882, when out of a fit of pique she scratched the mare "Thebais," one of the favourites for the Cambridgeshire of that year, because she had been forestalled in the betting and could not get the price she wanted. Mr. Crawford was at that time very ill at Cannes, where he died in February, 1883, Sir Morell Mackenzie having operated on his throat, for which he received one thousand guineas; but was unable to save his life. This little racing unpleasantness arose through the Duchess saying if some of the long prices were not turned up to her she would not run the mare at all. Nobody really thought she was in earnest until the last moment when she adhered to her avowed intention in spite of her many friends' pro- tests. Sir Frederick Johnson tried hard to make her listen to reason. The very night before the race several people I know journeyed down to Sefton Lodge to try and prevent her doing anything so exceedingly unpopular, or, as James Lowther ex- The Earl of Coventry A Racecourse Snapshot FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 149 pressed it, "Not to make a fool of herself." But it was all useless. The Prince of Wales even took the trouble to go and advise her, but by the time he arrived the mischief had been done. She had written the fatal letter and sent it to YYeatherby's to scratch the mare, after which nothing more could be done, Royal or otherwise. I do not think the Duchess quite understood what a serious thing she was doing, for she was a kindly good-hearted woman who liked people to be sport- ing and have a good time. Feeling naturally ran very high at Newmarket, and when in an earlier race before the time the Cambridgeshire was set to be run in, a horse of hers cantered past the stand in her Grafton scarlet, a roar of hooting and groan- ing went up from the general public stands, and my theory that the Duchess had not realised what she had done, was, I think, proved by her wonder- ment at what the row was all about, in fact she asked quite innocently in the Jockey Club enclosure what the hullaballoo was about. When she was told briefly in the one word "Thebais," she stood still for a moment and then entirely broke down. Nobody would speak to her in the saddling paddock. I do not know what would have happened but for kind Lord Coventry be- friending her and leading her out of the crowd into a horse-box. What he said to her I do not know, but she was seen no more on the heath that day. After this there was another inclination on the part of the crowd to hoot her colours, but Mr. 150 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Weatherby showed tact and good taste by asking the bookies to desist. This request was quickly passed from one to the other, and attention paid to it. I feel certain the scratching of "Thebais" was not done "out of spite," as I have heard it described, but from failing to realise what it would entail, for, as I have said, the Duchess was not a malicious or ill-natured woman, and I know for a fact that she never ceased regretting that unhappy stroke of the pen. Poor lady, it was well she won some big plums and had the satisfaction of seeing her horses win big races to counterbalance the difficulties and un- pleasantnesses in which at times she found herself. With her betting she was not always happy and got into some pretty tiresome muddles. For in- stance, when "Corrie Roy" was entered for the Goodwood Stakes and "Oberon" for the Lincoln- shire Handicap, although both horses won she stood a loser ! It was altogether rather complicated, for in the "Corrie Roy" case she lay against the mare, then backed it, then reported it a non-starter with the same threatened fate as "Thebais." However, the matter was put straight and "Corrie Roy" achieved a big performance. It was, however, a case of the "biter bit," for the man who had the commission of backing the mare to win died in the interval of victory and settling day. Her agent had, therefore, no account and all the bets he made were invalid. FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 151 "Oberon," the horse she ran at Lincoln, was the self-same animal that Lord William Beresford took out to India with a view of winning the Viceroy's Cup, but it may be remembered that climate did not suit the horse and he proved so uncertain he was returned to England, where he proved useful at stud. But for the fact of a telegram being de- layed in transit, "Oberon" would never have run in that race at Lincoln. Once a man got a little piqued with the Duchess over a betting transaction. She had asked him to put one thousand pounds for her on a horse that failed to win. The money was not forthcoming at Tattersall's on the following Monday. Thinking this strange, he called the same evening on the Duchess and, as he was shown into the hall, she came down the stairs and said she had forgotten all about it, or words to that effect. A moment later she changed her line of argument and said she sup- posed the account was all right and that she knew he was a rich man and would not be inconvenienced. To which he replied, "That's all very well, your Grace, but my money is in bricks and mortar, and we don't settle with them at Tattersall's." For years there has been a story of some lady- owner becoming irate with her jockey after he had been beaten, when armed with her orders to jump off as soon as the flag fell, come right through and win. The jockey did his best but failed to obtain notice of the judge, so he was accosted by the owner with, "Did I not tell you to come along as fast as 152 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS you could?" to which he answered, "And so I did, but I could not come along without the horse." The lady was the Duchess of Montrose and the jockey little Henry Huxtable and not Sam Loates as has been at times suggested. The Duchess built a mausoleum to the memory of her second husband at Newmarket and used to visit it every morning when in the neighbourhood. She often found an old man there also praying for the dead. His name was Potter. He frequently turned up to mourn departed sportsmen and sym- pathise with the relatives, receiving the widow's mite in return! All people who through sport, or indeed in any way, become public characters have wild stories re- lated about them, and the Duchess did not escape. One story was that after Mr. Crawford died she suggested to Fred Archer, the jockey, that she would have no objection to his being her third husband, but he had other views. I am under the impres- sion she may have said something of the kind in chaff and had it misconstrued, but when I have sug- gested this I have been told it was nothing of the kind. However, I am entitled to hold my own opinion ; but undoubtedly the story went round that Archer asked Captain Machell if he married the Duchess would he thereby become the Duke of Montrose? ... Si non e vero ben trovato ! ! This very sporting lady's third husband, Mr. Henry Milner, did not live with her very long. FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 153 There was no divorce or anything so vulgar, they agreed to disagree like sensible people. In Lady Cardigan's reminiscences she says that the Duchess of Montrose "pulled" "Thebais," which is quite a mistake ; she should have said "scratched." Perhaps that was what she meant to say, but what does it matter? Who thinks or cares anything about these nine days' wonders even a month or two after they have taken place, all is forgotten or embroidered out of all recognition. After Mr. Crawford's death I am under the im- pression that the Duchess ran her horses in the colours of Sir Frederick Johnstone. In November, 1894, she died, and some of her stable was sold at the Newmarket December sales. I do not remember what the total figure amounted to; but I know ten mares brought in 10,440 guineas and ten horses in training 17,215 guineas. One sale of her Sefton Stud realised the tidy little sum of £52,305. This was, however, only a small portion of her stud. She was buried in the mausoleum she had built for Mr. Crawford near Sefton Lodge at Newmar- ket. Her racing colours did not appear in the Racing Calendar from 1894 until revived by the present Lord Decies. I once had a great discussion with the Duchess on the question of who were the greatest scandal- mongers, men or women. She maintained that women were the worst culprits, saying, "They are 154 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS mostly jealous spiteful cats." I did not agree, and suggested men's clubs and smoking-rooms were the places from whence came most of the scandal and gossip. I remember my husband telling me some wonderful stories dealing with men's racing trans- actions and women's morals which he had heard at "the club." I told him I had always understood women's names were not mentioned in better-class clubs. He replied, "Oh, that's all bunkum!" It is, I know, supposed that ladies' five-o'clock teas are responsible for much scandal. I have not found it so, and I am glad my friends are not of the order who find pleasure in saying unkind things about other people; they neither like it nor will they tolerate anything of the kind. When a few nice-, minded women set their faces against ill-natured gossip it is surprising how quickly it dies a natural death in that immediate neighbourhood. There are many more interesting things to talk about than our own or our neighbour's follies. It is safer to talk of things than people; except when writing Mem- ories ! I have certainly met more men with tongues that ran away with them than I have women, and a diplomatist or two who have been very clever with their innuendoes, the property of which we all know is to create an impression unawares. One man I know who is living to-day is quite accomplished in this art. Speaking of clubs, reminds me how very unclub- able women are, which no doubt accounts for the FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 155 number of those establishments that have not been successes and have had to close their doors. For years I wondered what women wanted clubs for and supposed it was to get away from their hus- bands, in the same way that men belong to clubs to get away from their womenkind. That, however, does not apply now, for it would be so unnecessary when we all lead such separate lives, indeed it would be considered bourgeois to know where our hus- bands are. I can see now that these institutions may be very useful, and in hopes of finding their utility have belonged to several. At the present moment I am a member of two. After deep study I have come to the conclusion that many of the comparative failures in the wom- en's club movement have not by any means always been the fault of the club managers, but rather of the members themselves. A new cult seems to have sprung up. I do not mean the Suffragettes or the down-with-everybody-and-everything-ist, we know all about them, but the club fiend is a new creation, a thing apart. I am learning to know her by sight, she mostly wears cotton gloves and sniffs! There are many of her kind and they specialise in all the vices that make club life unbearable, but their vices vary. In one of my clubs I witnessed some strange conduct. I encountered soap-lifters who could not resist putting the soap in their pockets after wash- ing their hands. Others who were so hypnotised by the hair-pins that they had to cram as many into 156 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS their hair as it would hold. One woman, who did not think I could see her reflection in the glass in front of me, looked like a hedgehog before she left the room, she had very little hair but many hair- pins. Then the writing-paper and envelopes seem to be quite irresistible. In the reading-room I have seen women collect newspapers in heaps and sit down on them, spread- ing their skirts so as to hide all traces, much as broody hens fluffle out their feathers. These club women even cut out portions of the papers when they think nobody is looking. Women's clubs are things that have come to stay, I know, but I think most women who belong to them will allow that the club fiend eats like a canker into club life. It is a humiliating thought, but women do not amalgamate happily, having apparently an inherited mistrust of one another, and from what I have ob- served in clubs, with some reason. Many will not conform to the necessary rules of club life, which is silly and short-sighted as the rules are formed en- tirely for their own comfort and convenience. In fact to be an ideal club woman it is necessary not to expect too much from one's fellow-members. Women have the almost universal failing of want- ing to be too intimate, of asking too many questions, and making too many confidences. They are not satisfied with the easy comradeship that exists be- tween men who may belong to the same club for years, meeting constantly the same people, and yet FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 157 not know whether they are married, single or di- vorced, where they live, or anything about them, their chief topic of conversation having been poli- tics, sport, guns and such-like matters, with no per- sonal matters introduced. The first thing a woman wants to ferret out ap- pears to be if the woman she meets is happy in her home life, how many children she has and all the intimate details of her domestic life. After this information is digested they are either bosom pals or at daggers drawn, and even in the case of the bosom pals, before long they often, indeed, almost invariably, end in what diplomatists call "strained relations." Another reason why I doubt if club life will ap- peal to all is that instinct of "home," the beauteous word manufactured by the Teutonic people which is so deeply rooted in our hearts. Clubs are of course meant to be our temporary homes, but each individual member must not expect to run it on her own lines, for they are not in control of the establishment. I think a little more dignity and reserve on the part of women joining clubs would lead to greater comfort and happiness all round, and I think that now women have broken away from the old-fash- ioned idea of its being "not nice" to appear in any role except that of pandering to man, they should try and acclimatise themselves to club life, try and be logical and prove they are at any rate capable of governing themselves. 158 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS When people used to tell me extraordinary- stories of things done in "Hen Clubs," I used to think these dear kind people were trying to amuse me, never believing for a moment such things did really happen, but now I know, for one afternoon I wandered into a club and not finding the papers I wanted asked one of the servants what had be- come of them. He looked wearily round the room, shrugged his shoulders, and said, "Pinched!" After waiting some time and being unable to find the papers, and the papers not finding me, I went into the hall and waylaid an official, who in a piqued voice said either they were not out yet or had been carried to members' bed-rooms! I then drove off to Victoria Station and got what I wanted from the railway bookstall. I do not trouble this club much now. In another to which I at one time belonged, but which is now no more, both sexes were allowed, and in the com- plaint book I read one day, "Is it the correct thing for waiters to come into the room in their shirt sleeves at eleven o'clock in the morning?" Further down on the same page, "The food is bad and ex- pensive," to which some wag had remarked imme- diately beneath it, "No self-respecting chef will stay in a woman's club where they have poached eggs for dinner. No wonder he gets slack. Ask next time for larks' eyebrows devilled on toast, you will then see what a professor he is." A member of a well-known ladies' club lately vouched for the truth of the following: FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 159 A certain lady playing at bridge there lost a largish "parcel" and had not the necessary ready to settle up, so pulled a couple of diamond rings from off her fingers and flung them down to her opponent in settlement. They proved to be Parisian and worth less than what she had lost. Next time these ladies met in the club the one who had been paid in Parisian diamonds went for their former owner and pulled her hair, unfortu- nately it had not been grafted very firmly and tou- pee, wig or whatever it was, came away bodily leav- ing a very lonely looking bald pate. Until women as a body realise their responsibil- ities and observe the amenities of club life the woman's club movement can never be an unquali- fied success; and we must bear in mind, new ideas without the sanction of tradition must ever strug- gle for existence. CHAPTER VIII Some Racing Ladies — Stakes Given to the Red Cross Fund — Prince Soltykoff a Faithful Friend — Lord Alfred Pa- get Patron of the Theatre — Queen Alexandra's Interest in Racing — Her Sympathy and Enjoyment of a Joke — In Her Home at Sandringham — The Fatigue of Ladies- in- Waiting — Lady Macclesfield and Bishop Wilberforce — Lady Ely Asked her Favourites at Court — The Ger- man Emperor at Osborne — Queen Victoria and John Brown — The Duke of Connaught's Early Speech-making — Mr. Bolckow the Duke's Host at Marton — Starving amidst Plenty— A Tactful Host. WHEN the war broke out there were no less than nineteen ladies with colours regis- tered under the rules of racing and the National Hunt. The Duchess of Newcastle, who is a first-rate judge of both horse and hound, and who in her youth was known as "Ta-Ta" Candy, daughter of that fine sportsman, "Sugar Candy," has played the most conspicuous if not the most important part in later day racing. Perhaps I ought to bracket Lady James Douglas with her. The latter breeds a good many horses and makes good prices in the sale-ring with her stock. In steeple-chasing Lady Nelson comes out on top. She won the Liverpool Grand National of 191 5 with 160 Lady Mel < m FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 161 her "Ally Sloper," and gave the whole of the stakes to the Red Cross Funds. She is, I think, the only lady who has ever won that great event, and cer- tainly the only one I have ever heard of who has so splendidly and usefully applied the stakes and winnings. There have Deen fierce arguments as to whether she was at Liverpool to see her horse win, and there has been betting on it. As a matter of fact, she was not there, but in town on the day of the race. On hearing of her good luck she proceeded at once to Liverpool, arriving next day, and stood with her horse to be photographed, which no doubt led peo- ple into the belief that she was there on the great day. Her racing colours are white, light blue sash and blue cap, her husband's are white jacket with a red, white and blue sash and red cap, out of com- pliment to the white funnels of the Nelson line of steamers with which his name has been so long associated. Both Sir William Nelson ( ist Baronet) and his wife, speak of the "sash" across the jacket, which is a very modern term for the historic "rac- ing belt." "Ally Sloper" has not done much since his Liverpool triumph, and his then jockey is now in khaki. Both Sir William and Lady Nelson are fond of horses and racing, and spend a good deal of time at their stud farm, County Meath. They also have horses in England at Lambourne. When I congratulated Lady Nelson a short time ago on her noble gift to the Red Cross Fund, she very sweetly said, it was not only a pleasure to give it, but 1 62 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS she considered it her duty. I wish a few more felt as dutiful. Miss Ethel Clinton also raced and, like Mrs. Langtry, has been on the stage. That Russian but- terfly, Prince SoltykofT, paid her great attention in the long agos, but she was not his first love. Reg- ular theatre goers well remember seeing her on warm summer evenings walking arm-in-arm with the Prince along the Strand to the Globe Theatre. When she and her patrons revived "Les Cloches de Corneville" it was a very pleasant show, with much harmony both before and behind the curtain. Lord Alfred Paget was one of the patrons who shared the harmony behind the scenes; he was a frequent visitor. The chorus liked him and he liked them. Kate Munro, a most fascinating and clever act- ress, was the leading lady. There were those be- hind the scenes who said she was befriended by a Royal personage, and I was amused at being told that one very wet Saturday afternoon when she had promised two nice little children of hers that they should come and see mamma act, but owing to the wet she thought they would not come. The nurse arrived with them, and they were escorted behind the scenes to their fond parent. When she saw them she said, "Oh, nurse, nurse, why did you bring these children out on such a wet afternoon? Dear! dear! what would their Royal grandmamma say if they caught cold!" The chorus who overheard this were amused. They were not quite of the same standard as the FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 163 chorus girls of to-day, though perhaps more easily pleased. When Prince SoltykofFs wife died he did not marry again, as many thought he would, but was very faithful to his old friends, and at his death left his Newmarket home, Kremlin House (now in the possession of Mr. Joe Butters) to Miss Clinton; also his racehorses. She has never done anything of importance with them, but continued to race in the pronounced pink jacket and black cap so popu- lar in the days of that sporting Russian's racing. Racing has never claimed any of our English Royal ladies, or Royal gentlemen either for that matter, except King Edward; he was keenly inter- ested; Queen Alexandra was not, until her King, then Prince of Wales, won his first Derby with "Persimmon" in 1896, after which she expressed a wish to go into the weighing room at Epsom and see the jockeys weighed out, and other details of that sanctum. It was Queen Alexandra who hit upon the happy nomenclature of "Diamond Jubilee" for the brother of "Persimmon," who won the Derby the same year as Queen Victoria celebrated her notable Diamond Jubilee. The present Queen Mother has a great sense of humour and enjoys a joke; sympathetic people often do, and she is the most sympathetic of all our Royal family, quickly responding to the mood of those she is speaking to, whether grave or gay. She is reported to have said one of the best stories she 1 64 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS ever heard was of an old lady who suffered from an affection of the nose, that is to say the little dew- drop that comes unawares on the tip of our nose in cold and damp weather. This became a source of annoyance to the old lady, so she told her foot- man whenever he observed this phenomenon to say politely, "Thomas is waiting, my lady," so as to call her attention to it. One day, while waiting at table, the flunkey discovered it was time to obey his orders, but felt shy. At last he summoned up suffi- cient courage to say, "Thomas was waiting, my lady, but now he is in your soup !" In 1885 or 1886 I think it must have been, when Monsieur Lacretelle, the portrait painter, was paint- ing a picture of Queen Alexandra and her dogs, he asked her how she would like them taken, stand- ing, lying down, or what position. She replied with a charming smile, "On their behinds," only in French it sounded much more piquante. Lacretelle drew a pencil sketch of me at the same time and made me so beautiful that I vowed I would never again have a photograph or picture taken, but some light-fingered person walked away with it during one of our crushes or bun struggles, so my pride and vanity had to suffer by appearing in a photo- graph in my usual everyday face, shorn of the beauty that had been in the eye of the beholder when the sketch was made. It was only a quite small head and shoulders, but I fancied it enor- mously. I like to think, in my dreams, of Queen Alexandra FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 165 at Sandringham, where she is happy amongst her pets, and where she can shed a little of the fatiguing mantle of established precedent. Where she can be the woman and the mother as well as the Queen. Where she can wander out of the big black and gold gates given to her and the Prince of Wales when they bought the place, and across to York Cottage and round to the creeper and ivy-clad little church within stone's-throw of the house. Here for many years she has carried all her joys and woes, then back across the drive to the flower gardens on the other side of the house, where flowers bloom galore, especially her favourite flower, mignonette. Every- thing about the place looks so cared for and content. The pheasants hardly get out of your way, the lodges to the side entrances all covered with well- ordered rambling creepers and roses, the model ken- nels where her treasures live, each division with a well-kept lawn for the pleasure of the inhabitants either to lie and bask in the sun or for gentle ex- ercise. The hospitality at Sandringham is thoroughly simple and homely, after the fashion of our big country houses. The Royalties do not usually ap- pear until midday, unless shooting is on the tapis. Queen Alexandra is a keen observer; nothing escapes her. I remember once sitting with Lady Macclesfield, during one of her days in waiting at Marlborough House, and in such a dull, uninterest- ing room, more like a station waiting-room than anything else I could think of. She was knitting 1 66 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS uncomfortable looking garments of strange shapes for the poor, and there she had to remain unless sent for by her Royal mistress or until she was told her services would not be required any further that day. I did not like to ask her if she was very dull. It was such a leading question, and I am sure we would all sit day in and day out in a dull uninteresting room if by so doing we could be of any service to such a splendid Queen who has so faithfully ful- filled her role throughout her life, so ably filled that position into which it pleased God to call her. When the message came that Lady Macclesfield's services would not be required any more that day, she drove me home, and on the way I asked her if she found the standing as tiring as Lady Downe did when in waiting on Queen Victoria. She said there was no getting away from the fact that it was most fatiguing, especially at big functions, but that Queen Alexandra, who was then Princess of Wales, was most considerate when able to do as she liked in her own home, being most observant of fatigue on the part of her ladies-in-waiting. Dear, kind and good Lady Macclesfield was quite smart at repartee. Once when talking to Bishop Wilber force, otherwise known as "Soapy Sam," who died the sudden death on the Downs near Dork- ing that he had always said was the one he should like, he was explaining to her about his weight and that he knew exactly to an ounce what it was when in his bath. She replied, referring to his sobriquet, FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 167 "Would that be with or without the soap, my lord?" The conversation seems to have been of rather an intimate nature, but perhaps that was the bishop's polite way of explaining he knew his weight with- out any of his clothes being taken into considera- tion. A story is told of this same reverend gentleman when rating a curate, to whom he said, "I do not like to hear of the clergy in my diocese galloping about after hounds and neglecting their work." The curate, who was considerably braver than many I have seen in the presence of their ecclesias- tic superiors, replied, "You go to balls, my Lord." "Yes," said the bishop, "but I am never in the same room as the dancers." The curate replied: "And I am never in the same field as the hounds, my lord." This is an old story often told, but is rather a good one. But to return to the fatigue of ladies-in-waiting. Poor Lady Downe used to catch the most terrible colds when on duty. I remember Lady Sefton bringing her to see me once when she could hardly see out of her eyes and her nose was red. I enquired how she had managed to get such a bad cold. She said it was the result of having been "in waiting" for a month, adding, "The Queen loves fresh air, and can live in a wind and thorough draught that would kill many people. She is very strong, full of energy, and can stand indefinitely herself. I some- 1 68 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS times find it all I can do to hold up to the end of my waiting." Lady Ely, who was the wife of the third Mar- quess, was for years Lady of the Bed-chamber to Queen Victoria, and was the most charming per- son. Everybody who had any favour to ask from Her Majesty used to ask Lady Ely to see what she could do, knowing how much the Queen liked her and what influence she had. It was she who at Colonel Fred Burnaby's instigation asked the Queen if she would reinstate Valentine Baker in the army, and was told she had already offered to do so, but he had expressed himself as unable to accept any favour at the hands of the Queen after the way she had supported Miss Dickinson at the trial, and sent her a signed photograph. Once when Lady Ely was asked which of the Royal Family she liked best, she said, 'The Queen, she is always so courteous and expresses herself as so grateful for anything that is done for her, mak- ing it a pleasure if we can be of any service." Then when asked which she liked least, replied likewise, without any hesitation, "The German Emperor, he is so over-bearing and often rude. The only person on earth of whom he stands in the least awe is Queen Victoria, his grandmother. He behaves very nicely in her presence, but when staying once at Osborne in the Queen's later years, news reached Her Majesty that her grandson had been up early and with the gardeners, asking all sorts of ques- FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 169 tions and ferreting about. The riot act was read to him and he did not like it." I always thought the Queen a pathetic little fig- ure and so extraordinarily kind. Once when she heard I was in great sorrow she sent Lady Downe to see me to express her sympathy, and later com- manded me to Windsor where she showed such tenderness and feeling that I quite forgot to be stilted and when in reply to a remark of hers I so far forgot myself as to say, "Happiness unshared has no taste," I think we both had to restrain our feeling, or we should have fallen into each other's arms, for tears were in her eyes and voice, as well as mine. The Royal Family are all good at making speeches, considering how little there is that they may say. King Edward VII was of course the best. He had the happy knack of leaving the im- pression that he had said a great deal more than he really had. The Queen hated having to make a speech, and seldom did so, but when it was un- avoidable she spoke clearly and with no hesitation. She spoke at the opening of the Imperial Institute, but was obviously nervous. Many are still living who can remember her faithful servant- friend and adviser, John Brown, who seldom left her side. He was not a favourite with the rest of the Royal Family. When Her Majesty was in residence at Osborne she used to breakfast in the grounds and attend to her correspondence there, the faithful John Brown 170 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS in highland kit being at her side — I wonder where the garden-seat is now ? — on which she always sat and which bore the following inscription: — "To the Memory of John Brown, a devoted and attached servant and friend of Victoria R.I." He died in 1883. A slight idea of how entirely he was part of her life and how she had grown to lean on him may be gathered from the following. When she was travelling in Scotland, and was passing the shooting lodge of the Sutherlands where they were at the time, she told John Brown, who as usual was sitting behind her in his dicky seat, that she wished to stop and call on the Suther- lands. They asked the Queen to get out of the carriage and go in and have some tea, but she de- clined until John Brown leaned over and said, "I would if I were you. It will warm you up/' No doubt he had one eye on his own "in'ards," which were feeling cold, as well as an eye on the comfort of the Queen. Again when at Baveno on the Italian Lakes, the Queen was in the garden of the hotel waiting for Brown. When he appeared she said, "I have been waiting for you." Instead of apologies and falling flat on his face, he replied, "Well, I must say you look very summery," she being in her usual straw hat, white Cashmere shawl and elastic-sided boots, but had on a white veil to save her eyes a little. Cashmere shawls were always kept in stock for presents, and beautifully silky and soft they were. I had one, but it was left in India wrapped round FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 171 something very tender and precious in an Indian cemetery. At Balmoral there is a statue erected by order of the Queen to John Brown's memory, a tombstone in Crathie churchyard for which she invited Lord Tennyson to suggest an inscription, and at Osborne the granite seat with the pathetic words to his memory. Once when driving through the gates of Bucking- ham Palace, a youth, named Arthur Connor, who pretended he was a Fenian, pointed an unloaded pistol at Her Majesty. He was at once seized by John Brown who, to commemorate his vigilance, was presented with a medal and a small (very small) annuity of £25. Turning over some old notes and letters a short time ago I came across one asking me to go to Marlborough House and advise about some things wanted for Princess Louise's wedding with the Duke of Fife. The Princess Royal has much the same gentle manner and dignity of her mother; more so than either of her sisters. She has a little of that look of almost sad enquiry that is so attract- ive in Queen Alexandra. I think I must have heard the Duke of Con- naught make his first speech when he came to Mid- dlesborough to open a park for the people, a present to the borough from Mr. Bolckow, head of the now world-famed iron and steel works. Having made his fortune in these works, Mr. Bolckow was anxious to leave some lasting re- 172 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS membrance of the years he had toiled, at first with hands and then with brain while making his vast fortune. I was a small child at the time and was taken by my people to the station to meet the Prince, who had been sent down to begin and relieve his elder brother of some of the many dull and tiresome ceremonies that were his almost daily bill of fare. I do not know exactly what I expected to see; possibly something after the fashion of Prince Bo- hoo in my fairy tales, but I remember being great- ly disappointed that there was no glitter, no crown, no golden wands, nothing but a rather delicate- looking nervous young man in plain every-day clothes who read a speech in which amongst other things that I have since heard many times, he said, "My beloved mother will be glad I know to hear of the kind reception you have given to me on this auspicious occasion," etc. There was a little ner- vous halting once or twice, followed by a little prompting from some rather funereal-looking men standing behind the Prince. Even at that early age I felt sorry for him. He had not then ac- quired the easy flow of language which came later, and is peculiar to our Royalties. Mr. Bolckow, the host of Prince Arthur, was a dear old man who lived in great magnificence in an uncomfortable sort of way in a big red-brick house requiring centuries to soften its crudeness. It stood well exposed to the high road in a field or two sparsely timbered, railed in with high iron railings FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 173 to protect the deer and gas-lamps that abounded in the enclosure, through which with several gates ran an asphalt drive. The house at Marton was stored with priceless pictures, statues and bric-a-brac. I well remember Mr. Bolckow and his sweet little wife in those days. I think they were Germans and certainly spoke English with an accent and absence of aspirates. A few days before the arrival of the Prince I had been taken to see the room being prepared for his occupation where everything was white, blue and gold. The carpet was blue, crockery-blue and gold, curtains blue satin "which stood by itself" like the satin gowns of our grandmothers. (How uncom- fortable they must have been.) Blue satin curtains to the bed with beautiful deep fringe to tickle the Prince's nose as he got into bed. It was at the end of the time when to lie in bed without curtains to draw round was the height of indecency. Mr. Bolckow asked me if I would like to see the " 'orses" being drilled and broken in to make sure of their steadiness when bringing the Prince through crowded streets. It was very exciting watching the horses learn- ing their work; they were splendidly matched. Anyone unused to horses might have found it diffi- cult to tell one from the other so exactly alike were the four, while the postilions might have been twins. School children had been collected to shout hur- rahs. Bands played with big drums booming in the animals' ears. 174 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS I wonder if the Prince was as elated as we were with the grandeur of the carriage and perfections of the horses. He may have been bored to tears, even longing for the horses to have a kick up to relieve his monotony, if so we never knew it. My hand was being held by Mr. Bolckow while watching the horses and, as everything was work- ing smoothly, we ventured quite near to the obe- dient animals, when an extra blare from a trumpet combined with an extra big boom from the drum caused one of the leaders to rear up and very near- ly fall back on top of us. In our hasty retreat I fell down, embedded my knees in the gravel and dirtied my best frock. Mrs. Bolckow, who had come to look for us, turned round a corner at this moment and, seeing her husband picking gravel from my knees and dusting me down, exclaimed, "Oh ! my dear, what 'ave you done." "Nufing," he replied angrily; "I 'aven't done nufing." But I must hark back to the Prince who seemed greatly relieved when his speech was off his mind. There was a ball in the evening at which I am told the Prince danced and seemed to enjoy him- self. Rather a pretty Miss Branwell was staying with my people and went to the ball with them; she was chosen by the Prince to be one of his part- ners, which pleased her. Next day I heard her talking about this honour and gathered she thought the Prince very charming but that his dancing did not live up to the rest of him. FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 175 It was then the fashion to dance the "deux- temps" fast and furiously, it consisted of turning round very often and very fast, followed by con- siderable breathlessness. After the Prince's departure, Mr. Bolckow was offered a knighthood, but with grateful thanks de- clined it. I heard a small rude boy say "he had no use for it." A great picture expert had carte blanche to fill the house with all the best pictures money could procure. They were not chosen with a view to the house, so the home had to be altered for the pic- tures. A special wide white marble staircase was built with a good head light, under which on a landing half-way up the stairs stood Landseer's "Monarch of the Glen," for which 6900 guineas was paid. I am writing from memory and it may not have been that particular picture, though I think it was. I clearly remember, however, a noble stag standing listening, painted by Landseer — half-way up the white marble stairs ; the effect from the bottom was grand. The owner of all these luxuries was a kind- hearted charitable man, but in many ways careful of his pennies. I had luncheon with him and his wife in Prince's Gate shortly before he died. It was rather pitiful to see a millionaire sitting at a table laden with gold plate, delicate viands, beautiful fruits, sweets, and flowers. He was unable to en- joy any of the good things; a small fried whiting 176 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS by the doctor's orders came in on a special dish for him, which he ate listlessly. He left an enormous fortune, but having no children it was most of it settled on his nephew, another Bolckow, but the terms and wording of the will were such as very nearly to ruin the unfortunate man. As far as I can remember a certain portion of income had to be set apart and a certain sum spent yearly on buying land. His widow was left with the house in Prince's Gate and what most people would consider a com- fortable fortune. Latterly she had so entirely lost her nerve that she dare not drive in her own carriage, but fre- quented the homely and, as she thought, safer penny bus. Some of Mr. Bolckow's expressions were amus- ing. Once at breakfast, when he thought I was not eating enough, he said, "Oh, do allow me to press an egg upon you." He was a tactful host. One night when all the big-wigs, who always flutter round those who have acquired great wealth, had been invited to dine before a General Election that was in the offing, two big local landlords became so quarrelsome that most of those at the table held their breath wonder- ing who would come to blows first, when, with some dignity, the little round-about, grey-haired, square- bearded host stood up and said, "I tink, gentlemen, if you 'ave had enuf vine ve vill adjourn dis meet- ing and join de ladies." CHAPTER IX Some of the Author's Loves — Old Joseph and his Ewe- Lamb — Homeless Reuben Stride — His temperament and Philosophy — Brusher Mills, the Snake Charmer — His Home-made Abode — A Temple of Romance — A Store- house of Treasures — A Lovish Baptist Minister — His Love Letter — Author's Vanity receives a Rude Shock — Her Successor. I HAVE had a number of loves in my life, which sounds indiscreet and exciting. Many of them have been amongst the poor, the very poor. Their patience, faith, pessimism and fru- gality of their lives have often appealed strongly to me. Having written of so many friends in the social world, I would like to introduce one or two in other walks of life who have interested me. Old Joseph was one of my loves; he was a farm labourer living in one of our cottages. His un- selfishness, faith and goodness taught me many les- sons. He had lost both his wife and only son, all that was left to him was a little daughter barely seventeen, his ewe-lamb and housekeeper, and the same dread disease was going to carry her away. His one thought was to give her everything she wanted and to do all the work to save her strength from being taxed. Eefore going to his daily labour in the morning he washed the floor, cooked some 177 178 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS potatoes ready for his daughter's dinner and his supper in the evening, besides numerous other small household duties. I added my little endeavours, but we could not save her. Joseph was rather peculiar and, when his neigh- bours offered to help him, he said that he did not "warnt any of them messing about his place." I sympathised in a measure, for he kept it beautifully clean, which is more than some of his neighbours would have done. Both he and his daughter set their faces strongly against a nurse. Here again I sympathised, knowing from experience what trouble they give in a house. In cottages I have seen them intolerable, tearing up the meagre stock of night-dresses, throwing things about and leav- ing everything dirty and in confusion. So between us, old Joseph and I, we nursed the girl. One day, when I had been some time by the bed- side, I saw that the end was near, so when the old man came in at night I crept out, thinking he would like to be alone with his bairn. It is seldom there is any intermediate stage with the poor between living and dying, either they are well and live, or are ill and die ; they cannot afford to indulge in any between stages. I could not rest that night and, when all the household had gone to bed, I sat by the open French windows leading on to a terrace, the moon looking coldly at me. I was thinking of things as they are and as they might be, and ask- FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 179 ing for comfort for old Joseph, when I heard foot- steps coming up the gravel and on to the terrace. Joseph was staggering towards me as if his legs would hardly carry him. I was in the presence of desperate grief. Words would have seemed sac- rilege. He came towards me shuffling his feet as though he did not see where he was going, and stood in front of me twiddling the blind cord, a picture of despair. Bare-headed, his hair ruffled and untidy, his toil- bent back more humped than ever, his pathetic blue eyes filled with unshed tears that forbade him speaking, tears the more painful that they would fall back upon his heart unshed. Just for a moment the moon in pity hid her face, still he did not speak, so I put my hand on his and said, "I know, Joseph." That broke the spell, in a low husky voice he said, "S'cuse me, marm" — a pause, while he tried to moisten his dry lips, then with a burst of agony he almost screamed, "She's garn. Oh — oh — she's garn." In the silence of the night with no light save the moon it sounded like a voice from another world, where, maybe, souls are in torture. Then with another heartrending cry he threw out his arms towards the moon with uplifted face, "She's garn, my wee bit lassie" ; then turned and stumbled away holding his head between his hands. At first I thought it might be kind to leave him alone, then, remembering he had sought me in his sorrow, I gathered some flowers from the conserv- atory and followed him. 180 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS He was lying face down on the sofa in the kitch- en of his cottage. As he did not move or speak, I went up to the sick room, thinking I would move some of the dear accustomed things it is such an agony to see when the owner wants them no more, and put them away for a while. I then made the bed straight and arranged all as it should be, laid some flowers in her hands and around her pretty fair hair on the pillow. Then, pouring out some brandy and water from a bottle we had been using for the invalid, took it to Joseph on the sofa and made him drink it. I then led him upstairs; neither of us spoke. When he entered the room and found the pain- tossed pillows smooth, the now beautiful little face surrounded with a halo of tidy hair and flowers, all looking peaceful and comfortable, a great sigh of relief escaped him and he wrung the perspiration from his brow and flung it to the ground. I pulled him down beside me and sang softly the hymn that comes back to us all some time in our lives. "My God, my Father, while I stray, Far from my home on life's rough way, Teach me from my heart to say, Thy will be done." When I came to the verse, "If thou shouldst call me to resign, What most I prize, it ne'er was mine, I only yield thee what is thine. Thy will be done." FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 181 my friend, now shaken with sobs, put out one trembling hand and stroked the soft fluffy hair, murmuring, "Aie — aie " and I left him. That night seemed more beautiful than any I had known before, and I rested by a gate seized with the everlasting wonder, "Why?" Why must pain, ugliness and sorrow walk ever hand in hand with joy, life and such a beautiful world? The dew was heavy and drove me home trying to find com- fort in the thought "there can be no morning with- out a night." Not long after this an accident laid me low. Every night as Joseph left work he came to ask for me, and enquire if I would give him the happiness of doing something for me. Most mornings he brought a fresh egg laid by his own fowls, a trout, some offering, and one day the first rose from off a little tree he and I had planted on the grave of the "wee bit lassie." Later again, when the Reaper with the sickle visited my home, Joseph would allow no one to touch the grave but himself, and he spent some of his poor little savings on wire hairpins and other things wherewith to make the resting-place a bower of flowers and moss. He wished me to find the comfort he had experienced when he saw every- thing cared for in his bairn's room. This he ex- plained to me in rough though tender words. And now Joseph is no more, and there are no little Josephs left. I wish there were, with his heart of gold. He was one of my loves. 1 82 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS Another love, though a less intimate one, was Reuben Stride, whom I called the nineteenth-cen- tury philosopher. He was a well-known figure in the New Forest, and was, I am sorry to say, run over by a motor-car about a couple of years ago and killed, — at least he died as a result of the accident. In this mind-our-own-business world how little we know of the many tragedies and dramas being enacted all around us, under our very noses. We hear of people who, by accident or disease, are bed-ridden for thirty or forty years; it is no un- common occurrence. But it is surprising to find in England, close to our doors as it were, a man hale and hearty over seventy years old, who has not slept in a bed for more than fifty years, yet such was the case with Reuben Stride. There is something grand and pathetic in his fine old face. Look at it. Every line tells a tale of endurance, storms weathered, struggles of mind as well as body, and maybe faith, hope and charity. Surely with a head like that there must have been brains above the average, a kind heart with that benevolent nose, eyes looking at nothing but seeing much, hidden under that rugged moustache and beard a determined mouth and chin, the whole reminding one of a splendid rock standing out at sea all alone; mellowed and rounded by time and many tides. You will ask how comes it this interesting study found no pillow for his head during all these long Reuben Stride, a Nineteenth-Century Philosopher FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 183 years? He would like to have told you himself, but as he cannot I will. That determined hidden-away mouth and chin had something to do with it, for he could brook no restraint, rules or regulations. When seven- teen he entered the Navy. After serving eighteen months he could stand it no longer, and came to the conclusion the life did not suit him. The strict discipline did not appeal to him, and he saw that if he remained there it would only mean trouble and ructions, so he deserted. For some time he evaded capture, hiding here and there, always in fear of being traced, until one day it actually hap- pened, and he was taken back a captive to be rigorously "broken in." In spite of all punish- ments he absolutely refused to obey any orders, and at last the authorities were thankful to get rid of him. In recounting his experiences the old man used to say, "I tole 'em they could kill me, but I wouldn't do it." So he was discharged with what it was hoped he would consider "ignomy." Being one of Nature's roamers, Reuben could not live by rule ; his wants were few and simple, but he must be in the open air and free to roam at will amongst all the things he loved, things that count for so little to many but were great to this philos- opher. The sun, moon, stars, birds and beasts all loved companions, filling his heart with peace and content, leaving no room for fractiousness. After his discharge he wandered about Berkshire 184 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS and Wiltshire working here and there as a labourer. Then for some years he was employed as a carter in one situation in the New Forest, a life much more suited to his temperament. During the last fifteen or sixteen years he found employment as a cattle- driver, which most people consider a trying heart- breaking task, for the poor beasts get so frightened and distracted they do not know what they are doing and have a cussed way of invariably going in the wrong direction. This work, with occasional assistance from kind- hearted people in the New Forest, where he was a familiar figure, enabled him to subsist. When asked why he seemed so wobbly on his feet when standing up after resting, he would ex- plain that he "lost both his great toes an' some o' t'others through frost bite." There is something fine in the marvellous patience of the poor, and the religious pessimism which has come to them from father to son through countless years since the dawn of time and history. When individualism is strong it goes in search of truth and is at war with convention, leaving us all in different premises, philosophers or vagabonds. When I asked Reuben if it were really true that he had not slept in a bed for fifty years, and if so why the police had not interfered, he replied, "Oh yes, that's all right enough. I've slep' out more 'an fifty years, and allers kep' myself clean and decent. P'leece ! They dont take no note o' me, they know I ain't no biding place, nobody meddles o' me. I FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 185 never carries no lucifers yer know, an' if the p'leece wants to take me I sh'd say, 'Yo jess go to so-and- so,' wherever I was sleeping, an' they'd say, 'oh, he's all right, let un bide, don't you meddle along o' he.' " When friends offered him a bed he declined, custom had heightened the spell of his quaint rest- ing-places, he was happier under the stars or among the straw. His face spoke of hard times but a placid resigna- tion, that birthright of the unambitious. He argued to himself philosophically that he would rather have frost-bitten toes of his own choosing, than those ordained for him by other people. There he has my sympathy. Some people said he was mad, but he was far from it. I have observed a tendency amongst the common crowd to consider as mad everybody they do not understand. I was a great admirer of old Reuben, and am contemplating putting up over his grave: "To the Memory of a dear old 19th Century Philosopher. "To sleep and take my rest, The old sea at my door, The grey hills there in the west, What can a man want more ?" The New Forest teems with people, places and things of interest. I have heaps of loves there. The little ponies, children of adversity, about whom 1 86 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS I could write for a week without stopping and be happy all the time; the gypsies, about whom there is so much that is intensely interesting that I have never seen in print, and of whom I have the most beautiful and uncommon photographs. In fact the New Forest is one of the earth's storehouses. In it one gets very near the "Peace that passeth understanding." The glorious old trees with arms spread out and joining over our heads in benedic- tion, the bracken waving and whispering at our feet. The Greeks consecrated each favourite wood and grove to some Divinity. Wise old Greeks ! During New Forest rambles many other intimate friend- ships are formed as well as with the ponies. There is something about the Forest that makes one moralise. Perhaps it is the dear beautiful trees, companions that never fail us. Nature loves them as much as I do, and deals so gently with them in their old age, covering up all their infirmities, draping them with moss and lichen, twining round them ivy, clematis and woodbine for support in their old age, in return for the help extended to them in their youth by their life-long friends the trees. Another of my New Forest loves was "Brusher Mills," the snake-charmer. The name bestowed on him by his parents and godparents was "Harry" Mills, but he was better known as "Brusher Mills." We often hear of snake charmers in the east, but not often in the west. Strictly speaking he was B rusher Mills of the New Forest FURTHER INDISCRETIONS 187 no charmer, but found it convenient so to describe himself, as he had to make his living somehow, and the reptiles had an attraction for him. It does not sound as though it would be a very lucrative calling, but when that stern mother, Necessity, puts her foot down, and we are thrown upon our own resources, it is wonderful what we can do. Snake catching or "charming," as Mills would call it, as a means of making a living, would not appeal to everybody, but he was an expert and had acquired that familiarity that is supposed to breed contempt. He had no fear of any snake. There is something weird and yet fascinating in the idea of living all alone day and night for nine- teen years in the midst of that Temple of Romance, the New Forest, in a home-made hut, composed of branches and stems of trees arranged in conical form assisted with peat to keep out the wind and rain, his closest companions the English snakes, with whose whims and abodes he was so well ac- quainted, yet in this hut and all alone Mills lived for nineteen years. The first thing that occurred to the mind of those interested in this strange old man was what he did with the snakes and how he caught them. He made no secret of the fact that, at one time, he made a small income by supplying the Zoo with snakes to satisfy the appetites of some of the inhabitants. Latterly he gained a precarious living by displaying his snake-charming gifts to tourists and trippers. He did a fair trade by describing to those really 1 88 FURTHER INDISCRETIONS interested the difference between, and peculiarities of, the three English snakes. He was usually well rewarded. He also made and sold wonderful con- coctions procured by boiling down adders and securing the fat to act as antitoxin for snake bites, cure rheumatism, and other maladies, loudly prais- ing their virtues. Heaven alone knows what the poor souls who bought the mixture did with them, whether they drank some in their tea or mixed it in poultices, or used it as a cure for housemaid's knee; there seemed to be no end to its possibilities. When starting out to catch snakes he wore no gloves or protection of any kind for his hands. His hunting kit, indeed his only kit, everyday and Sun- day alike, consisted of a greatcoat or two, given to him by admirers and friends. They were usually worn one on top of the other, and had capacious pockets added by himself. He wore big thick laced- boots surmounted by the most wonderful thing in gaiters, made regardless of pattern or shape, which arranged themselves in concertina-like crinks and folds around his legs till they reached his knees, where they were welcomed by still more concertina- like trouser knees. My own impression is he made them both himself, got into them somehow, leaving time and chance to do the rest. A felt hat that may once have been black and beautiful completed this toilet, but it was no longer black, rather a picturesque purple, green and grey, souvenirs from wind, sun and rain. That was all, except a many-hued handkerchief tied around his C/J