DOCTOR LAMAR 
 
 " It has pleased God (fiat divine verities should not 
 enter the heart through the understanding, but the 
 understanding through the heart" PASCAL. 
 
 NEW YORK 
 THOMAS Y. CROWELL & CO. 
 
 46 EAST FOURTEENTH STREET
 
 COPYRIGHT, 1891, 
 BY THOMAS Y. CROWELL & Co. 
 
 C. J. PETERS & SON, TYPOGRAPHERS, BOSTON. 
 
 T. Y. CROWELL & Co., BOOKBINDERS, BOSTON.
 
 TO 
 
 BUT FOR WHOSE WARM INTEREST AND CONSTANT 
 
 ENCOURAGEMENT MINE HAD BEEN 
 
 AN IDLE PEN, 
 
 ftfjis iltttle Foluttu 
 
 IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 ON a cold, dreary evening in the spring of 188- a 
 dog-cart drew up before a house in Forty-second 
 Street, New York, and a gentleman jumping there- 
 from threw the reins to his groom, saying, 
 
 " I think I sha'n't need you again to-night, Brice. 
 Give the mare a hot mash, and rub her down well. 
 If I want you, I will telephone to the stable. 
 Good-night." 
 
 " Good-night, sir." The man touched his hat, drew 
 up the reins, and rolled off at a brisk trot ; while his 
 master slowly ascended the steps of the substantial 
 dwelling, opened the .door with a latch-key, and 
 entered the handsome, dimly lighted hall. 
 
 Having rid himself of hat and overcoat,' he turned 
 to the right, passed through a semi-obscure reception- 
 room to a somewhat sternly and rigidly arranged 
 study, of which the chief point of attraction was a 
 bright wood-fire that snapped and crackled upon the 
 broad hearth. 
 
 5
 
 6 DOCTOR LAMAS. 
 
 Even this cheery welcome, however, failed to 
 seduce him from his apparent preoccupation. Dis- 
 regarding the cordial invitation to approach and warm 
 himself which it extended, Dr. Lamar deliberately 
 passed it by unheeded, crossed to the further side of 
 the mantel-piece, and pressed the white button of an 
 electric bell. Almost immediately the summons was 
 answered by a man in sober livery. 
 
 " How is Mrs. Lamar this evening, James ? " the 
 master asked gravely. 
 
 " She is sleeping now, sir," the man replied in the 
 same tone. 
 
 "Ah! Ask Miss Vorce, then, if she can find it 
 convenient to let one of the maid's take her place for 
 a few moments, and come to me here, as I desire to 
 have a word with her." 
 
 The servant bowed and departed, leaving his master 
 standing motionless in an attitude significant of a 
 profound Aveariness, which yielded its claim upon his 
 physical being to the controlling demands of his 
 anxious and apprehensive spirit. Leaning with one 
 arm upon the mantel, he partially rested his exhausted 
 body, although the keen, alert expression of the dark 
 gray eyes bespoke a thoroughly active condition of 
 the mind which prohibited rest. 
 
 A low knock at the door interrupted the stillness of
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 1 
 
 the room, and disturbed his immobility. As he gave 
 permission to enter he moved forward and placed 
 a seat for the new-comer nearly opposite his own 
 large study-chair. 
 
 The woman who entered wore the dress of a trained 
 nurse, and the simplicity of the garb well became the 
 sweet Quaker-like face and the quiet, gentle bearing 
 of its wearer. The gravity of the doctor's counte- 
 nance was deeply reflected on that of the nurse, and 
 with his keen professional glance Dr. Lamar at once 
 divined that an unusual demand had been made upon 
 her necessarily repressed sympathies. 
 
 " Your patient is sleeping, Miss Vorce ? " he asked 
 after a silent bow of greeting had been interchanged 
 between them. 
 
 " Yes, sir," the woman replied, with the brevity 
 incidental to her training. 
 
 " She has had a bad attack since I left this 
 afternoon ? " 
 
 " Very bad indeed, sir ; her suffering was terrible." 
 
 " And she would take no sedative ? " 
 
 " No, sir." 
 
 Dr. Lamar drew a deep sigh. 
 
 " How long has she been sleeping ?" 
 
 With that habit of precision which is so strongly 
 inculcated in those of her profession, the nurse
 
 8 DOCTOR LAMAR, 
 
 drew from her belt a small silver watch and glanced 
 at it. 
 
 " Mrs. Lamar went to sleep at five minutes of six 
 o'clock," she replied ; " it is now ten minutes after 
 seven ; she has therefore been sleeping an hour and a 
 quarter. She was greatly exhausted, and may, I 
 think, sleep some time longer." 
 
 "Yes; thank you, Miss Vorce. That is all, I 
 believe. Will you be so good as to let me know when 
 she wakes ? I shall not go out again to-night, I think." 
 
 He rose and held the door open while the soft- 
 footed woman passed out ; then, returning, he threw 
 himself again wearily into his arm-chair, and gazed 
 gloomily into the fire. 
 
 It was seldom that his strong soul succumbed to the 
 force of circumstances sufficiently to allow depression 
 to master his naturally buoyant temperament ; but 
 to-night he felt hopeless, despondent, and unnerved. 
 He was in a thoroughly exhausted condition of mind 
 and body. The undermining influence of the spring 
 weather had produced its usual deleterious effect 
 upon people's health, and the demands upon his time 
 and strength had been unwontedly severe. In addi- 
 tion to which he had borne the burden of his wife's 
 illness an illness in whose terrible agonies none 
 could so thoroughly sympathize as he, the well-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 9 
 
 instructed physician. Before his perfect comprehen- 
 sion of their potency even he, endowed as he was 
 with a more than ordinary share of masculine 
 strength, shrank in horror, and the thought of their 
 long-continued attacks upon his wife's feeble frame 
 was a constant torture to him. 
 
 A cancer of rapid growth had been eating its 
 loathsome way into Laura Lamar's life for months 
 past, though, prompted by the pride which induces 
 the victims of this most awful disease to conceal its 
 presence from even the nearest and dearest, she had 
 carefully withheld her secret from her husband until 
 longer concealment had been rendered impossible. 
 The monster had now reached the last stages of its 
 destructive and excruciating progress ; but its final 
 triumph over the poor, writhing flesh, for which 
 though its result must, as she well knew, mean her 
 own death Laura Lainar longed with vain craving 
 for rest, was unmercifully and torturingly delayed. 
 
 Retrospection lies hidden within the kindling logs 
 of a wood-fire. This evening, as the spent and 
 exhausted physician sat before his blazing hearth, 
 active thought seemed no longer within his power. 
 His mind appeared to be mere vacuity, a deserted 
 stage upon which presently memory began to marshal 
 her forces, and, in a sort of haze, present to his inert
 
 10 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 vision a representation of scenes and actions long 
 since dead and forgotten. 
 
 It is singular, considering the influence they have 
 upon our lives, how little prone we are to reflect upon 
 the combination of events, the separate links of 
 chance and circumstance which go to the making up 
 of that strange and monstrous coil we call life. How 
 easily we accept the drift of our existence without 
 pausing to consider how its trend has been influenced 
 by the veriest trifles. 
 
 Perhaps no life had ever been more apparently a 
 thing of chance than that of Philip Lamar. Partially 
 orphaned when a mere child by the loss of his father, 
 whose death had been one of the sad results of a 
 railway accident, he had been left to the care and 
 guidance of his mother, a flighty, inconsequent sort 
 of creature. Her widowhood had been rendered 
 supportable to her by reason of its attendant conse- 
 quences : an ample fortune and untrammelled liberty. 
 Her nature was pre-eminently sentimental, and, receiv- 
 ing scant encouragement for the indulgence of its 
 ethereal tendencies from the prosaic character of her 
 American surroundings, she sought more congenial 
 environment in the more aesthetic atmosphere of 
 foreign cities. 
 
 In Dresden she met a handsome Italian fortune-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAIL 11 
 
 hunter ; a worthless, empty-headed foreigner, with 
 absolutely nothing to recommend him to a woman of 
 sense, though his superficial romanticism, his airy 
 deferential gallantry, and his possession of a title, 
 appealed successfully to the imagination of the poor, 
 weak little widow. She married him, and at once 
 regretted her folly. Even to her rather dense, 
 childish perceptions it became immediately evident 
 that she had made a fatal mistake. She had sacrificed 
 independence for subjection, the liberty of a well- 
 dowered widow for the helplessness of a timid, 
 frightened slave. She found herself completely 
 under the dominion of a character which, if no 
 stronger than her own, outrivalled it in obstinacy and 
 unscrupulousness. 
 
 The natural consequence of the marriage to Philip 
 was a boarding-school, and notwithstanding the lad's 
 earnest, heart-broken protests he was sent to a Ger- 
 man Institut. He was a delicate, home-loving child, 
 and the dreariness and loneliness of that first period 
 of school-life swept over him again as the fire 
 re-illumined the dark, forgotten corners of memory. 
 
 His whole soul had revolted at the needless cruelty 
 of his exile, and his sensitive nature, feeling itself 
 outraged, had rebelled fiercely against the mother who 
 had abandoned her child to. the care of strangers.
 
 12 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Sensitive natures become warped more easily than un- 
 impressionable ones. During those first few weeks of 
 homesickness and miserable suffering, that of Philip 
 Lainar underwent so radical a change that when, some 
 six months after his entrance into the Institut, the 
 Comtessa Ventura paid her son a visit, she was 
 shocked at the alteration which had taken place in 
 him. The clinging, affectionate child had degener- 
 ated into a stubborn, unresponsive boy, who turned 
 a sullen cheek to her caress and withdrew himself 
 stiffly from her embrace. 
 
 She herself had done violence to the sacred bond 
 between them, and he could not forget her treason to 
 him. The childish sense of injustice manifested itself 
 in such indifference of demeanor that even the vain 
 little heart of the Comtessa felt a touch of anguish. 
 But she was now powerless to remedy the evil she 
 had effected. She had placed herself under the rule 
 of a tyrant, and Avas not possessed of sufficient force 
 of character to extricate herself from her bondage. 
 
 How vividly Dr. Lamar recalled the final appeal he 
 had made to her maternal tenderness ! As the Com- 
 tessa had risen to take her departure a terrible wave 
 of homesickness swept over the lad, vanquishing the 
 sullen spirit that had slowly been gaining ground 
 within him during six long weary months, and strip-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 13 
 
 ping him of the armor of pride in which he had 
 sought to shield his poor, sore little heart. 
 
 When, with quivering lips and streaming eyes 
 for separation from her boy was a real grief to 
 her the Comtessa stooped to kiss him good-by, 
 his spirit had succumbed. Throwing his arms pas- 
 sionately about her neck, he burst into a flood of 
 tears. 
 
 " Mamma, mamma," he cried, " take me with you ! 
 Oh, do take me, mamma! I am so lonely with all 
 these nasty foreigners ! " 
 
 To say the appeal did not touch the mother's heart 
 would be false. What love her pitiful little nature 
 was capable of belonged to her boy, but her fear of 
 her husband far outweighed any other consideration 
 in life, and his fiats were never-to-be-contested decrees 
 with her. 
 
 Even at this late day a shiver passed over Dr. 
 Lamar at the recollection of the desperate misery 
 which had overwhelmed him at the non-success of this 
 final supplication. In his maturer judgments he had 
 become more lenient toward the poor little Comtessa, 
 who had long since passed away, only too glad to lay 
 down the life which had grown so wearisome a bur- 
 den. But love and confidence on his part had been 
 done to death ; and though the man had come to pity
 
 14 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 the weakness of the woman's nature, the son had 
 never been able to overcome the feeling of estrange- 
 ment from the mother. 
 
 From the preparatory school the boy went to Heidel- 
 berg, and there acquired the habit of free thought. 
 Xo home training had prepared his mind for the 
 reception of divine truths ; no loving voice had 
 whispered to him of faith as a necessary quality 
 of the mind ; no tender hand had cultivated the 
 susceptible soil of his young soul and planted there 
 the germs of belief. He appeared at Heidelberg 
 without a bias or tendency. His mind was as free 
 from inculcated maxims of theology, from instructed 
 modes of belief, as are the pure white leaves of the 
 sermon-book before man records his subtilties of 
 thought and doctrine upon them. 
 
 Xo ground was ever better adapted for the recep- 
 tion of the teachings of the great German free- 
 thinkers than was his mind. Xo disciple was ever 
 more read}- than he to submit to their guidance, and 
 sign that contract with reason which scoffs at hypoth- 
 esis, and scorns the supernatural ; whose initial letter 
 is doubt, and terminal, annihilation. His entrance 
 into the ever-increasing ranks of rationalists was 
 attended by no conflict of mind and soul, by no 
 trampling under foot of precious, long-treasured
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 15 
 
 traditions. There was in his case no agony of 
 spirit to endure, no wrenching asunder of the bonds 
 of faith, no rising superior to superstition. Religion 
 and theology had not been included in the curriculum 
 of his preparatory school. The Bible was as a book 
 written in an unfamiliar tongue, neither more sacred 
 than the Koran, nor half as highly prized and well 
 beloved as Horace. 
 
 He took the entire course at Heidelberg, lingering, 
 as long as he could find reasonable excuse for so doing, 
 in the old town which had grown inexpressibly dear 
 to him. His mother died during his first year at the 
 University, a fact which affected him but little, ex- 
 cepting as he became her reversionary legatee. He 
 chose the profession of medicine, and left Heidelberg 
 at the age of twenty-four to walk the hospitals of 
 Paris and London, being possessed of a very fair 
 fortune, which, however, in his case, offered no im- 
 pediment to the pursuance of his profession, which 
 he loved above all things on earth. The treasures of 
 heaven he failed of belief in. 
 
 It is a well-established fact that the study of 
 the sciences tends to confirm, if indeed it does not 
 inculcate, a rationalistic belief. The germs of 
 agnosticism generated by his environment found 
 ample nourishment in the materialistic character
 
 16 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 x 
 
 of Lamar's profession. As lie progressed in the 
 study of medicine, proven facts alone became to him 
 things of moment ; spiritualistic hypotheses he had 
 neither the time nor the inclination to deal with. 
 
 His nature Avas essentially a grave one. Even in 
 childhood he had shown a steadiness of purpose, a 
 balance of mind that had made him an object of won- 
 der to his wayward and capricious little mother. He 
 had but little sympathy with the foreign natures of 
 the lads who were his school-fellows, and at Heidel- 
 berg had preferred his pipe and books to the com- 
 pany of the giddy-pated students whose larks and 
 amusements aroused his contempt. 
 
 One friendship he formed, and one only. This 
 was with a young Englishman, the son of a country 
 clergyman. Brought \\p in strict adhesion to the 
 tenets of the Church of England, Robert Wyndham 
 naturally held views upon the final end of man as 
 diametrically opposed to those of Lamar as they 
 could well be. Nevertheless, the bond uniting them 
 was a strong one, a singular exemplification of the 
 law of contrast, for the natures of the two men were 
 widely different. 
 
 There was about Wyndham a charming atmosphere 
 of breeziness, of gayety and frankness, which was a 
 sure cachet to popularity; while the reserved, some-
 
 DOCTOR LAM A JR. 17 
 
 what stern manner of Lamar seldom attracted a 
 casual acquaintance, and repelled, rather than invited, 
 familiarity. Measured by experience, and proved 
 by actual test, however, the American possessed a 
 breadth and generosity of character with which the 
 Englishman could not compete. 
 
 Wyndham expected to enter the Diplomatic Ser- 
 vice, and, having graduated from Oxford, had gone 
 abroad with a purpose of perfecting himself in for- 
 eign tongues. Notwithstanding the fact that his 
 career in life had been decided upon, he showed a 
 strong tendency toward the ministry, which aroused 
 all Lamar's combativeness, and to overcome which 
 the latter devoted much time and persuasion. 
 
 " You have a future in your country's service," he 
 would argue, " in which you may attain eminence 
 and renown. In that career you may be of positive 
 benefit to your fellow-creatures, and render to Eng- 
 land that duty which every child owes its fatherland. 
 As a preacher of fables, a disseminator of doubtful 
 doctrines, you would be merely a panderer to the 
 superstitious element in mankind, a promulgator of 
 unauthenticated and fictitious fabrications." 
 
 It was with real pain and regret on both sides that 
 the final separation came upon the two men, when at 
 last Lamar decided to return and establish himself
 
 18 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 in America. Both felt the uncertainty of a future 
 meeting, and the parting was a sad one. 
 
 As, upon this evening, Lamar sat gazing into the 
 fire, sick at heart and well-nigh discouraged, he felt 
 a sudden yearning for a sight of his friend's cheery 
 face, for a clasp of that strong hand which had not 
 grasped his for six long years. 
 
 Accompanying the recollection of his parting with 
 Wyndham came another memory: that of his first 
 meeting with the woman who was now his wife, and 
 who would so soon be what ? He put the question 
 from him his mind was unfit to-night to cope with 
 problems. 
 
 Love and marriage had been small factors in the 
 young physician's plan of life up to the time of his 
 return to America. Perhaps his nature was some- 
 what cold, or dormant, or preoccupied. At all events 
 his marriage, which was after all the natural conse- 
 quence of events, had been to him a surprise from 
 which even now he had scarce recovered. 
 
 The steamer on which he had taken his homeward 
 passage was two days out from Liverpool when, one 
 morning as Lamar was sitting alone, smoking and 
 thinking of the life upon which he had turned his 
 back forever, the ship's surgeon approached and 
 accosted him.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 19 
 
 "Pardon me, sir," he said, "but I believe I have 
 the honor of addressing Dr. Lamar ? " 
 
 Lamar bowed. 
 
 "I have ventured to come and ask a favor of you," 
 the surgeon continued. " I have a patient on board 
 who is very ill indeed. The final stages of Bright's 
 disease. Why he ever undertook the journey I can- 
 not imagine. He is accompanied by his daughter 
 and valet, and I am afraid cannot last until we 
 reach New York. Will you be good enough to give 
 me the benefit of your advice in consultation ? I 
 shall be extremely obliged." 
 
 Lamar assented cordially ; and together the two 
 men made their way to the sick man's stateroom. 
 
 A girl was seated beside the berth, who rose as 
 they entered. A brief presentation made Lamar 
 acquainted with her name. 
 
 " Miss Kockwood, this is the gentleman of whom I 
 was speaking, Dr. Lamar." 
 
 A short examination sufficed to show the latter 
 that the ship's surgeon had diagnosed the case cor- 
 rectly. Bright's disease, in its last stage, was making 
 sad havoc of the sufferer's plans for dying in his 
 native land. Lamar made a few suggestions for 
 Mr. Rockwood's relief, and gave constant and valu- 
 able aid to the daughter during the few days of
 
 20 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 life which yet remained to her father, days which 
 in their common ministration brought Laura Rock- 
 wood and Philip Lamar more closely together than 
 weeks of ordinary intercourse would have done. 
 
 Upon the sixth day out Mr. Rockwood died. 
 Illness and death at sea are experiences sufficient 
 to test the stoutest nerves, and Laura Rockwood, 
 who, during the awful agonies which attended her 
 father's last hours, had shown a strength of character 
 and firmness of self-control which aroused Philip 
 Lamar's wonder and admiration, appeared completely 
 overwhelmed with grief and despair when the end 
 came. 
 
 Lamar did all in his power to assuage her sorrow, 
 but found himself tongue-tied and helpless. He pos- 
 sessed no stock-in-trade of ready phrases calculated 
 for such emergencies ; no glib assurances of a future 
 meeting beyond the grave, or of a bettered condition 
 of things for him whose life-torch had just expired, 
 rolled smoothly from his lips. 
 
 All he could do or express for the stricken girl he 
 did; but that all was pitifully small in his own 
 eyes. Having assisted in the final arrangements, 
 attended to the embalming of the body, and so forth, 
 he took Laura Rockwood's hand in his, and held it 
 in a close, warm clasp, indicative of the sympathy he 
 felt for her, saying simply,
 
 DOCTOR LAMAIt. 21 
 
 "Miss Rockwood, I wish from the depth of my 
 heart I might have spared you this great sorrow." 
 
 He was a little startled by her reply. He had 
 thought religious belief an inherent and inseparable 
 quality of the female mind, and was surprised and 
 perhaps a trifle shocked at the discovery of this 
 moral deficiency in her, as if she had betrayed to 
 him the possession of a physical infirmity. 
 
 "Thank you," she said brokenly. Then, with 
 some passion stirring her voice : " Oh, Dr. Lamar, 
 you have little idea how horrible a thing death is to 
 me, or how bereft I feel myself. I am without 
 belief in a hereafter, and can hope for no reunion 
 beyond the grave ! Oh, what a terribly uncompromis- 
 ing thing is my scepticism ! It grants no concessions 
 of hope, allows no loophole through which a ray of 
 divine light may penetrate to cheer my gloom. It 
 says to me sternly, ' You know nothing of the im- 
 material, have no proof of the so-called spiritual. 
 Immortality is a sweet-sounding collocation of sylla- 
 bles, as intangible and ephemeral as a sensuous strain 
 of music; the warpless, unsubstantial fabric of the 
 sentimentalist's dream ! It has no palpability to the 
 touch, and fades into thin air before the strong light 
 of science.' I know that my disbelief, my atheism, is 
 well founded, I have often gloried in my emancipa-
 
 22 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 tion from the bonds and shackles of religious super- 
 stitions, and congratulated myself that I had risen 
 above the mental weakness of my sex. Yet now, my 
 friend, in the face of the first great sorrow I have 
 ever known, I would give ten, yes, twenty years of 
 my life, to be wrapped hard and fast in the thraldom 
 of that beautiful old tale of Christianity, and to feel 
 the certainty that I and my father are to meet again ! " 
 
 This outburst recurred to Philip Lam'ar as he sat 
 and awaited the summons to his wife's chamber; 
 for it is scarcely necessary to explain that, attracted 
 by the strong congeniality of mind which existed 
 between them, he had married Laura Rockwood 
 within a few months of their return to America. 
 
 Their six years of married life had been calm, 
 happy, and unruffled by any storm. Their mutual 
 attachment, while it lacked the intenser touch of 
 passion to glorify it, was yet a very satisfactory 
 makeshift to two natures, neither of which had 
 experience of the sublimer emotion which their 
 union missed. They had come to know and under- 
 stand one another thoroughly, with a comprehension 
 which is rarely attained between man and woman ; 
 their intellectual accord was perfect, and the bond 
 existing between them was more that of ideal and 
 perfect friendship than that of husband and wife.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 23 
 
 And now she was dying ! The word meant so 
 much to him. So much more than to ordinary men. 
 It meant that that great, strong woman's soul was to 
 be blotted out forever from existence ; that her 
 active, energetic mind was to die, not that it was to 
 be emancipated from the bondage and restraint of 
 the body ; that the fund of knowledge which she, an 
 eager student, had so carefully acquired was to be 
 buried, like a hidden treasure, in six feet of earth ; 
 that the long discipline of her faculties, the elaborate 
 training of her mind, were, in the face of annihilation, 
 a total waste of time, since the worm feeds as well 
 on uncultivated as cultivated brains ; that she, his 
 valued comrade, his trusted friend and scholarly 
 companion, was to be separated from him for- 
 ever by a gulf which even death itself could not 
 bridge. 
 
 His realization of what her loss would mean to 
 him was so true that for a moment, as he recollected 
 the passionate cry evoked from her sore heart by the 
 loss of her beloved father, regret and anticipated 
 loneliness stirred his heart into echoing her wish. 
 Ah ! that he possessed the consolation of feeling that 
 this life were but a preparatory school, that in that 
 much-lauded hereafter he and she might again be 
 united to carry on the common work of intellectual
 
 24 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 cultivation which had been their greatest pleasure 
 here. 
 
 The wish was but an evanescent impulse, scarcely 
 born ere it died. The next moment lie knew and 
 confessed to himself that not even for the hope of 
 meeting her, whose companionship he prized beyond 
 any of the gifts life had vouchsafed him, would 
 he sacrifice the glorious privilege of untrammelled 
 thought. 
 
 A knock at the door interrupted his revery. 
 
 "Dinner is served, sir," his butler announced, in 
 that hushed tone which is contagious from the atmos- 
 phere of a house of illness. 
 
 "Very well, James. Miss Vorce has sent me no 
 message ? " 
 
 "None, sir." 
 
 Dr. Lamar rose heavily, and proceeded to the 
 lonely dining-room, where his solitary meal was about 
 half finished when a summons reached him. 
 
 "Miss Vorce sends down to say that Mrs. Lamar is 
 awake, and asks to see you, sir." 
 
 Without a moment's delay Lamar responded to the 
 call. His heart felt like lead in his breast as he 
 traversed the silent hall, and mounted the stairs. As 
 he paused for an instant outside his wife's door, he 
 drew himself up with a slight motion, as of one who
 
 DOCTOR LAMA1L 25 
 
 seeks to throw off an oppressive burden, and the 
 weary, harassed look, which his face had worn dis- 
 appeared before a more cheerful expression as he 
 turned the handle softly, and entered the sick- 
 room.
 
 26 DOCTOR LAMAli. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE general aspect of chambers of sickness pre- 
 sided over by nurses trained to their profession is 
 pretty much the same. There is the room itself 
 stripped of all unnecessary detail, its shaded windows 
 unshrouded by their accustomed draperies ; the dim 
 half-light; the small table, bearing its methodical 
 arrangement of vials and glasses ; the white bed, 
 carefully adjusted as to the avoidance of draughts; 
 the white-capped nurse in her low chair by its side ; 
 and finally, the invalid herself. A very common 
 accompaniment of these sad scenes of suffering is a 
 pervading atmosphere of carbolic disinfectant. This 
 was especially noticeable in Mrs. Lamar's chamber. 
 
 As Dr. Lamar entered, the nurse rose and stood 
 silently respectful, awaiting orders. These were 
 conveyed in a slight motion of the doctor's head, 
 signifying a temporary dismissal. 
 
 At the sound of his step the invalid's eyes had 
 opened, and as he approached the bed a warm light 
 of greeting overcame, for a moment, the look of pain 
 which was their constant expression.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 27 
 
 It was significant of his temperate regard for her 
 that Lainar contented himself with no warmer 
 embrace than a close clasp of the thin, white fingers, 
 and a gentle kiss upon the pale brow. Even this 
 latter was an unusual demonstration, a concession to 
 the yearning tide of sympathy with which, by reason 
 of her piteous condition, his strong heart overflowed. 
 
 " My poor girl ! " he said, in the low, grave voice 
 which was such grateful music to many a sufferer's 
 ear. " Miss Vorce tells me you have had a hard 
 afternoon." 
 
 He drew the nurse's abandoned chair close to the 
 bedside and sat down, still holding the long, slender 
 hand in his broad clasp. 
 
 " Ah, Philip, so hard so hard," the invalid 
 replied with a little pause delaying the repetition of 
 the phrase. " Had I needed convincing of the 
 unreality of the Christ, this afternoon's tortures had 
 been sufficient. No merciful God, cognizant of his 
 creatures' welfare and loving them with any degree 
 of tenderness, could have permitted such sufferings to 
 one who has never wantonly injured a fellow-being. 
 Philip, my husband, it cannot last much longer ? " 
 
 There was an eager desire for assurance in her 
 voice, but the physician was powerless to bestow it. 
 He shook his head sadly.
 
 28 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 "I cannot say," he replied; "the nature of the 
 disease is so deceptive that it is impossible to predict 
 with any degree of certainty. But, Laura, once more 
 let me urge upon you the value of opiates. How 
 much terrible suffering you might be spared if you 
 would but submit to the use of morphine." 
 
 A very determined look crept over Laura Lamar's 
 face a look which her husband knew to be the 
 exponent of a firm resolve. 
 
 "No," she said resolutely; "that, never but once. 
 Never, while I can endure, will I consent to be 
 voluntarily deprived of my reason. It is the one 
 possession I rank above all others, and I will never 
 submit to clouding it, even to escape such agony as I 
 have undergone to-day. There may come a time 
 for I have discovered, alas, that I am a coward before 
 the terrors of pain when I shall resort to it. I 
 cannot tell but, Philip " 
 
 Her speech was suddenly strangled by a fresh 
 accession of suffering. She withdrew her hand 
 sharply from her husband's and knitted its ringers 
 into those of its fellow, while her quivering body 
 writhed and twisted in the paroxysm. Great beads 
 of sweat stood on her brow, her face was contorted 
 with agony, and her livid lips pressed hard upon each 
 other to prevent the escape of the moans of anguish
 
 DOCTOR LAM Alt. 29 
 
 which shamed her strong spirit. Her deep brown 
 eyes the one beauty in her rather plain face 
 gazed into her husband's with such a look of dumb, 
 passionate entreaty that he .turned away, unable to 
 meet their look. 
 
 A hard, rebellious expression came over his face, as 
 he moved to the table to seek some appliance with 
 which to alleviate her suffering. 
 
 "A God!" she heard him mutter; "a God, who 
 could look on and permit such cursed torture when by 
 a touch he could end it ! A merciful God, indeed ! " 
 
 When the paroxysm had passed, and her husband 
 was again seated by her side, Laura Lainar leaned 
 forward a little, and drew his hand into both her own. 
 
 " Philip," she said with great calmness, " you 
 believe that death ends life ? " 
 
 " Surely ! " he replied, a little surprised at the 
 question ; " do you doubt it ? " 
 
 " Not for one instant. But I wanted your assur- 
 ance, for I am going to put your rationalism to the 
 proof. Do you remember long ago, when AVC were first 
 married, that you one day brought me a gift which you 
 said was a more precious possession than the rarest 
 jewel ? It was only a little white powder wrapped 
 in a bit of paper and labelled ' Poison.' You told me 
 you were never parted from a similar packet, and that
 
 30 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 its value could only be proved by circumstances. You 
 asked me to carry it about with me on my person, 
 and in case of need, if any accident were to befall 
 me where torture becaine unendurable and ultimate 
 destruction inevitable, to pour this little powder on 
 my tongue. The instructions were simple ; you 
 remember them ? " 
 
 Lamar bowed his head. Yes, he remembered 
 perfectly. Indeed, a similar packet was even now 
 reposing in his pocket. 
 
 The low voice went on. 
 
 " For a long time I obeyed your wish and wore the 
 packet upon my person ; but one day I lost it, and it 
 has never been replaced." She paused a moment to 
 await the termination of another spasm, then con- 
 tinued : " Philip, it is hard to part with you, my dear ; 
 I had planned such a long life for us together, and I 
 hate to go with so little accomplished. If I thought 
 there was ever so slight a chance for me I could bear 
 this horrible suffering yes, for the sake of a longer 
 term of life, I could endure even a greater amount of 
 agony, for I love life ; but when I feel that at best my 
 stay is limited to a few weeks, and that those weeks 
 are to be periods of ever-increasing torture, I can see 
 no inducement to linger." 
 
 She lay very still, looking off into vacancy, while
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 31 
 
 a dark foreboding of what she was about to request 
 filled her husband's mind with uneasiness. He moved 
 somewhat restlessly in his chair, and then bent a little 
 closer to her. 
 
 " Laura," he said gravely, " you would not ask of 
 me anything you would shrink from doing yourself ? " 
 
 She turned her soft brown eyes fully upon his gray 
 ones, and smoothed his hand gently between her own. 
 
 "No," she said reflectively, "no, I think not, I 
 think not. I should have fulfilled your wishes if 
 I had seen you hemmed into a burning car with no 
 hope of rescue. If you could not have reached your 
 own little packet, I should have given you mine, 
 I think." 
 
 A little shudder crept over the physician. Accus- 
 tomed as he was to the contemplation of death, his 
 mission was to stay, not to hasten, its coming ; and he 
 shrank nervously from the obligation which he felt 
 was about to be laid upon liim. A sudden impulse 
 assailed him. He felt that he could not hear and 
 respond to the request which he knew to be forth- 
 coming; he rose impulsively from his chair. 
 
 "Laura," he said, "don't ask it! Don't, don't! I 
 could not do it ! I am a coward, I grant ; but after 
 all, the old prejudices are hard to shake off. It would 
 seem like murder. I could not do it."
 
 32 DOCTOR LAMAli. 
 
 The sick woman smiled, a little sarcastically per- 
 haps, while there was a genuine ring of disappoint- 
 ment in her voice. 
 
 " Let us say no more about it, then, dear. I will 
 have you do nothing to worry you afterwards. But, 
 Philip, your faith in the old doctrines is stronger 
 than I had imagined." 
 
 The man's face flushed. The accusation was bitter 
 of endurance to him, the head and front of the 
 rationalistic school in America. 
 
 "Laura," he cried, "you misjudge me. My reason 
 for not acceding to your wish is quite independent of 
 creed or doctrine." 
 
 " And is ? " she asked quietly. 
 
 " It is that that " he stammered confusedly, at 
 a loss to express, in terms suitable to their common 
 professions, his recoil from the suggestion of so 
 practically and unconventionally demonstrating his 
 vaunted scepticism. 
 
 " That life is a God-given possession, of which we 
 have no right to voluntarily rob ourselves. The old 
 story ! " she supplied. " It is this and nothing less 
 that stays you, Philip. It is for this weak and 
 senseless superstition, which your rational judgment 
 pronounces such, that you refuse to grant me the only 
 relief possible from my intolerable torments. You
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 33 
 
 sneered, a moment since, at a loving God who forebore 
 to use His power to end my agony ; yet you, who 
 profess to be a fond husband and pretend to be too 
 much moved by my anguish to contemplate it, refuse, 
 for no reason worthy of being called such, to spare 
 me the horrible hours which must intervene before 
 my inevitable death. Were recovery within the bare 
 limits of possibility, I would not shirk any ordeal 
 to attain it; but you know, none better, that my 
 disease is beyond doubt fatal. How can you, holding 
 relief in your hands, withhold it for a mere prejudice, 
 and doom me to such needless torment ? Philip, my 
 husband, how can you do it ? " 
 
 Had she been pleading for life instead of death 
 her tones could not have been deeper weighted with 
 entreaty. Despite his natural reluctance, Laiuar 
 found himself gradually yielding to her persuasive 
 reasoning. Setting aside his illogical and selfish 
 scruples, he could find no just argument to oppose to 
 her desire. That the ultimate result of her illness 
 must be death he was as firmly convinced as science 
 could make him : no care, effort, or endeavor on his 
 part or that of any living being, he felt positively 
 assured, could arrest the progress of the horrible 
 malady that was consuming his wife, body and soul. 
 It was scarcely possible that she could drag on
 
 34 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 her tortured existence beyond the term of a few- 
 weeks at farthest. Was it then worth while to seek 
 to prolong that brief period at such bitter cost ? 
 Were it not far kinder to yield to her urgent 
 entreaties, to grant her the blessed boon of oblivion, 
 that rest for which she craved so ardently, than to 
 condemn her to continued and increased stiff erino-, 
 
 O * 
 
 merely out of a selfish indulgence of sentimental 
 scruples, of which his reason taught him the 
 invalidity ? 
 
 Observing the struggle that was going on in his 
 mind, and relying upon the rationalistic tendency 
 which she had so often seen triumph over sensibility 
 in the strong mind, whose inherent tenderness ren- 
 dered it a degree more vulnerable than her own stout 
 spirit, the invalid refrained from further speech, con- 
 tenting herself with keeping a close and eager watch 
 upon his face. 
 
 Undoubtedly we are all possessed of latent forces 
 of which we are ourselves scarcely conscious. The 
 magnetism of a strong will is a motive force, the 
 potency of which has been long since recognized. 
 That Laura Lamar possessed this magnetism in a 
 large measure she had often proved in the psychologi- 
 cal experiments, which were a frequent amusement 
 of the Psychical Research Society, of which she and 
 her husband were interested members.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 35 
 
 Probably no thought of controlling her husband's 
 * volition by such a means now occurred to her, and it 
 is not to be supposed that Philip Lamar was other 
 than a free agent in forming his decision ; but it is 
 very possible that the strong influence of her .pas- 
 sionate wish acted upon his vacillating judgment, and 
 that, unknown to either, it added some weight to the 
 mental scales which were employed in the delicate 
 process of balancing reason against sentiment. 
 
 There was a long silence in the shadowed room. 
 Lamar seemed to feel the strong magnetism of those 
 dark, compelling eyes, for he turned from the bed, 
 dug his hands firmly down into his pockets, and 
 moved off to the window, where he stood looking out 
 into the night. The rain was falling heavily, and 
 dashed sullenly against the panes. An old-fashioned 
 clock, standing just without the door at the head of 
 the stairs, suddenly, with a harsh rattle that seemed 
 a preliminary clearing of its throat, burst forth into 
 the announcement of eight o'clock. 
 
 After his wife's death, Lamar forbade the winding 
 of the striking machinery of the clock. Its voice 
 had become disagreeable to him. 
 
 He started as he heard it now, and turned his eyes 
 from the stormy night, letting his glance slowly 
 traverse the floor, until it reached the bed; then, with
 
 36 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 a quick uplifting of the^ds, it rested upon his wife. 
 Encountering her earnest gaze, in which her whole* 
 soul seemed concentrated in entreaty, he drew a deep 
 breath, compressed his lips, like one who has come 
 to an unwilling decision, and went toward her. 
 Silently he knelt beside the bed, and gathered her 
 tenderly into his arms, with the careful touch of one 
 accustomed to dealing with the sick. 
 
 As he held her so supported on his broad breast, 
 with her face very close to his own, he gazed ear- 
 nestly upon its wan and pain-drawn lineaments, and 
 then said sadly, 
 
 "Laura, my wife, you believe that you are the 
 dearest being on earth to me, do you not ? " 
 
 She turned and kissed his cheek fondly, as she 
 replied, 
 
 " Surely, Philip." 
 
 " And that I would consider your well-being in all 
 things as I would my own ? " 
 
 " Unquestionably." 
 
 " Then, when I yield to your wish, and consent to 
 shorten that life which we both know to be a mere 
 accident of matter, attributable to the chance fusion 
 of forces, you understand that I do for you what I 
 would do in my own case under like conditions. That 
 I am moved to do it solely by my love for you, and 
 consideration for your welfare ? "
 
 DOCTOR LAM AH. 37 
 
 A flash of light came into the sufferer's eyes. 
 With an effort she rose, and slipped her emaciated 
 arms about her husband's neck. 
 
 " Philip, you consent ? " she cried joyfully. 
 
 He bowed his head gravely. 
 
 " Ah ! My dear, my dear, you have lifted a weary 
 burden from my mind. Philip, you have been a good 
 husband to me. We have been happy together, have 
 we not, dear ? " 
 
 Lamar's eyes filled with tears, as he bent and kissed 
 her brow for reply. 
 
 "Yet, Philip," she went on, "I have sometimes 
 thought I lacked something which you needed ; that 
 my nature was scarcely feminine enough for the ideal 
 wife ; that there was a lack of demonstrativeness, of 
 tenderness about me." She sighed, but smiled again 
 as she felt his arms close tighter about her. " You 
 would say that it is not so ? Well, perhaps I don't 
 know. Perhaps if I could have left you a little son 
 or daughter, I should die better satisfied. But, 
 Philip, I want to assure you now for all time, that, 
 whatever my own shortcomings may have been, you 
 have none with which to reproach yourself. My 
 husband, no woman was ever more fortunate in her 
 married life than I." 
 
 She raised her thin, white hand, and stroked
 
 38 DOCTOR LA MAE. 
 
 his face as she felt his strong frame quiver with 
 emotion. 
 
 " Poor boy ! Poor Philip ! " she whispered ten- 
 derly. " It is hard to leave you alone. It is bitter 
 to know that our life ends here. Oh, for one proof 
 of immortality, for one ray of light to throw doubt 
 upon my convictions ! " 
 
 She turned uneasily in his arms, and, fearing agi- 
 tation would create fresh suffering, Lamar gently 
 released her. As she sank back upon her pillows, she 
 held out her hand to him. 
 
 "Philip," she said gravely, "you have promised ? " 
 - He made a gesture of assent. 
 
 "I thank you. Do not forget you have given me 
 your word. I think I can sleep now. Good-night ! " 
 
 She turned her face to the wall, and he softly 
 withdrew to summon the nurse, afterward returning 
 to his study to sit far into the night, meditating upon 
 the promise that had been extracted from him.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 39 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 THERE are few salient points of difference in the 
 forms employed in conducting the obsequies of a, 
 Christian and those of an agnostic. Setting aside 
 the prayers which occupy so prominent a place in the 
 burial rites of believers, the ceremonies differ but 
 slightly. The accompaniments are similar in both 
 cases: music, flowers, panegyric, tears tears flow- 
 ing as freely and unreconcilably over the body of the 
 one as the other. 
 
 Is it not a little singular, indeed, that no more 
 intense woe, no deeper gloom apparently attends the 
 burial of the sceptic, surrounded by sceptics holding 
 no hope of a future life, than that which clouds the 
 death-chamber of one dying in the grand belief of a 
 glorious immortality, and surrounded by Christians 
 professing full faith in a near and joyous reunion 
 beyond the grave ? 
 
 Is it, perhaps, that that loudly and boldly expressed 
 faith is a little insecure ? That, notwithstanding pro- 
 test and boast, at the awful issues of life, doubt will 
 creep in to insinuate, in whispers too low for our
 
 40 DOCTOR LAM AH. 
 
 consciousness to acknowledge, that the unproven is 
 ever uncertain, that there is ever and must of 
 necessity ever continue to be a dark and gloomy 
 possibility involved in the snapping of the golden 
 cord ? 
 
 Why, else, does the Christian mourn so long and so 
 inconsolably over a parting which lie claims is to 
 result in such wondrous consequences to hi* friend ? 
 If the passage from life to death is felt so assuredly 
 to so brilliantly advantage him who undertakes it, 
 why should the short separation which it involves 
 cause such infinitely deeper grief than the earthly 
 partings which are every-day occurrences of life ? 
 We make no bitter moans over the separations neces- 
 sited by material preferment. 
 
 The conventionally darkened parlor in Forty-second 
 Street was well filled with patients and friends of 
 Dr. Lamar, who had gathered to pay the last honors 
 to the dead woman. A large majority of these were 
 members of the Advance Club, of which Lamar was 
 president. Mrs. Lamar had been one of its promi- 
 nent members, and the loss of her strong individual- 
 ity was keenly felt at its meetings. 
 
 Her nature had been so wide a one that its scope 
 of action had naturally been extensive. Charity had 
 been her favorite study, and her wise application of
 
 UOCTOi; LAMAR. 41 
 
 its best methods had endeared her to a vast number 
 of humanity's poor relations. Many of those whom 
 she had befriended mingled their poor garments with 
 the richer robes of their more prosperous kindred. 
 
 Scarcely an inch of the rosewood casket was visible 
 beneath its load of rare flowers, and scattered about 
 on tables and mantels were further offerings of love 
 and friendship. A brilliant luminary of the Advance 
 Club, a man well known at home and abroad by 
 reason of his daring assault upon time-honored tradi- 
 tions as well as for his splendid qualities of mind, at 
 his own request pronounced the funeral oration. A 
 more eloquent tribute to a woman was, perhaps, never 
 uttered. Warmly appreciative of Laura Lainar's 
 many noble qualities, it yet stopped far short of ful- 
 someness. Kecognizing her advancement of thought 
 as somewhat unusual in one of her sex, it called 
 attention to the fact of her pure and spotless char- 
 acter and unsullied reputation. Noting her avowed 
 disbelief in a God and a hereafter, it yet testified to 
 her warm interest in all philanthropic and humane 
 movements, an interest which proved that the prac- 
 tice of charity and benevolence may be induced by 
 other causes than supernatural threats or promises. 
 
 Lingering tenderly upon her value as a friend, it 
 made glowing mention of the influence which so
 
 42 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 broad an intellect, combined with so womanly a soul, 
 was capable of exerting, and sympathized in warm 
 terms with the husband deprived of so noble a com- 
 panion. Then the mellow tones of the speaker 
 dropped to a tenderer cadence, as, with sympathetic 
 appreciation of their nature, he touched upon her 
 sufferings and the patient fortitude with which she 
 had endured them. "Hers was indeed an example of 
 resignation," he remarked, " not to the will of a God, 
 who, notwithstanding His vaunted mercy, could so 
 crucify His innocent and well-nigh sinless child, but 
 to the decree of the Inevitable, which says, ' You 
 are paying the penalty of an outrage inflicted upon 
 Nature, whose laws must be obeyed, else atonement 
 shall be exacted.' Unshrinkingly she bore the ordeal, 
 and steadfastly awaited the end. None came within 
 the radius of her circle," he said in conclusion, " who 
 will not exclaim with me, who loved this noble 
 woman truly, the world was better for her birth, and 
 humanity is a loser by her death." 
 
 As Dr. Lamar returned to his home that afternoon, 
 after laying his wife in her final resting-place, a ter- 
 rible restlessness took possession of him. Although 
 she had been confined to her chamber for many 
 weeks, it seemed to him that Laura's presence had 
 pervaded the house, and that her death had rendered
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 43 
 
 it suddenly vacant. An awful sense of loneliness 
 oppressed him, and he wandered aimlessly about 
 from room to room, finally seeking refuge in his 
 study. 
 
 Here he employed himself for some minutes in 
 glancing over a quantity of correspondence which 
 had accumulated during the last two days. This 
 hastily despatched, he strayed about the room, open- 
 ing a book only to close it again without noting even 
 its title, scanning a picture or two, and finally bring- 
 ing up before a window where he stood with his 
 hands dug deep down into his pockets, and his gaze 
 turned inward. 
 
 As he ' stood thus he fell to rehearsing certain 
 events in his wife's illness events about which his 
 memory clung, not regretfully but meditatively. 
 Especially prominent was that conversation which 
 had resulted in a promise whose fulfilment had later 
 been exacted of him. This fulfilment had been 
 unaccompanied by any of the reluctance which had 
 caused him to shrink from undertaking it, owing to 
 the fearful suffering which, when time for action 
 came, seemed to render it a mere act of humanity. 
 
 Ten days had passed after that rainy evening when 
 he had promised to release his wife from the burden 
 of unendurable suffering, without further mention
 
 DOCTOR LAM AU. 
 
 being made of his agreement. For a week there had 
 been a steady crescendo of agony, yet she had not 
 demanded the coup de grace, perhaps because, being 
 conscious of the sacrifice of natural feeling it re- 
 quired from him, she preserved sufficient unselfish- 
 ness in the midst of an intolerable agony which 
 would have been excuse for the most intense egoism, 
 to desire to spare him. 
 
 At last had come one fearful day, compared with 
 whose anguish all the tortures she had previously 
 undergone seemed mere suggestiveness. Lamar 
 had been at home all day, having relinquished his 
 practice into other hands, in order to devote himself 
 wholly to his wife. Finally, when endurance seemed 
 no longer possible, her sufferings were granted a 
 temporary respite, and as she fell into a peaceful 
 sleep, the doctor, quite worn out with the strain upon 
 his sympathies, sought a brief rest in his study. 
 
 Scarcely ten minutes had been granted him before 
 a message came from the nurse begging him to come 
 at once to the sick-room. Here he found his wife 
 fairly writhing in agony so great that the nurse, 
 accustomed to view unmoved the torments of disease, 
 came toward him with tears of pity streaming from 
 her eyes, and begged him to do something for her 
 patient's relief.
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 45 
 
 As he approached the bed, his wife motioned to 
 him to dismiss the nurse from the room, and, when 
 she found herself alone with him, burst into passion- 
 ate entreaty. 
 
 "Philip, your promise! The time has come. I 
 can bear no more. Philip, my husband, you will not 
 fail me ? Remember, you have promised." 
 
 Another terrible convulsion of pain seized her. 
 Her face became ghastly white, and her body writhed 
 in the spasm. A single cry broke from her lips, the 
 only one Lamar had ever heard during her martyr- 
 dom, and it proved a stronger argument than any 
 words of entreaty or reproach. Without delaying 
 another instant he drew from his pocket a tiny white 
 packet, unsealed it, and disclosed a very trifling 
 quantity of colorless powder. 
 
 Pausing a moment, he stooped and touched the 
 distorted face with his lips. 
 
 " Laura," he said gently, for a great calmness had 
 taken possession of him, "you are sure you wish me 
 to do this thing ? " 
 
 She bowed and tried to smile, being, by reason of 
 her anguish, beyond the power of speech. 
 
 " Then good-by, my dear one. Good-by, my faith- 
 ful, beloved wife ! " 
 
 She smiled again, and her lips tried to frame an
 
 46 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 echo of his parting, but their unclosing only per- 
 mitted the escape of a moan. 
 
 Lamar stooped quickly and whispered a word. 
 The sufferer immediately parted her lips, and with 
 a hasty gesture the doctor poured the contents of the 
 little paper between them. 
 
 Scarcely an instant after a wondrous quiet came 
 over the poor, quivering body. A slight sigh, as of 
 great relief, breathed itself out from the pallid lips, 
 and the. distorted features smoothed themselves out 
 into an expression of great calm. 
 
 This little tragedy, of which he had been the 
 principal actor, re-enacted itself before Lamar now, 
 as he stood gazing vacantly out into the dark street. 
 Not for an instant since its accomplishment had he 
 felt regret for his compliance with his wife's wish. 
 Why should remorse or compunction assail him, 
 when reason told him that he had acted wisely and 
 considerately? What qualms of conscience should 
 afflict a man believing, as he did, that there is no 
 tribunal higher than that of common-sense to sit in 
 judgment on the actions of humanity ? 
 
 His wife was at rest. Oblivion, that long sleep 
 which has no fevered dreams, no precarious awaken- 
 ing, had ingulfed her ; and he had been the instru- 
 ment of granting her this peace. A natural regret
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 47 
 
 and loneliness, of course, he experienced ; and the 
 reaction from constant attendance upon her left him 
 with a feeling of restlessness, which would doubt- 
 less vanish with the resumption of his professional 
 duties. 
 
 He grieved for his wife as one grieves for a con- 
 genial sister or friend ; but his sorrow was a calm, 
 controlled emotion, widely different from that pas- 
 sion of yearning and regret that overwhelms the 
 bereaved lover. 
 
 As the gloom came on and the stars began to 
 twinkle out, a strange thought came to him, a 
 thought so foreign to one of his assured convictions, 
 that, when he awoke to a realization of its irration- 
 ality, he was almost startled that he should have 
 indulged it. 
 
 The advancing night had brought with it a sugges- 
 tion of the loneliness of that quiet body which he had 
 just laid in the earth, and, some way, his thoughts 
 separated the spirit which his reason told him had 
 been blown out like a candle, from the mouldering 
 body, and endowed it Avith continued existence. " I 
 wonder," he was thinking, " where Laura is ? " 
 
 It was a speculation natural enough to a Christian, 
 but so at variance with his materialistic theories, 
 that, as I say, he was startled and even a little
 
 48 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 shocked to think it had occurred to him. He turned 
 from the window with a shrug of his broad shoulders, 
 muttering to himself, 
 
 "Time I occupied my mind with something besides 
 sentiment ! " 
 
 As he touched the electric illuminator, and the 
 room sprang into light, the ringing of the door- 
 bell arrested his attention. Supposing it announced 
 the advent of some patient, and easy in the knowl- 
 edge that his servant was instructed to send such to 
 a brother-practitioner, Larnar took up a medical 
 pamphlet, whose uncut leaves awaited his leisure, 
 and was about to apply himself to its contents, when 
 the discreet voice of his butler interrupted him : 
 
 "A gentleman to see you, sir." 
 
 " Say that I desire to be excused, James ; that I 
 can see no " 
 
 He broke off abruptly, for a tall figure loomed 
 into sight close upon the servant's heels, recognition 
 of which evoked a burst of gladness that was almost 
 a cry from Lamar. 
 
 " What, Wyndham ! You ! Am I dreaming ? " 
 
 The new-comer had by this time come well within 
 range of the light, and proved himself to be a man 
 of some thirty-eight or forty years, unmistakably 
 English in appearance, with a charmingly frank,
 
 DOCTOR LAM AIL 49 
 
 open countenance, which was now struggling to sub- 
 due the joy consequent upon reunion with Lamar 
 after a six years' parting, to a decorous expression 
 of sympathetic sadness becoming the news which 
 had just been imparted to him by the butler. 
 
 " Yes, it is I, old fellow ! Lamar, it is good to see 
 you again. I have intruded upon you at a sad time, 
 old man, but I could not leave without just shaking 
 you by the hand. I've come from England for that 
 simple purpose." 
 
 " Wyndham, if anything in the world could cheer 
 me up to-night, it is a sight of you. A more welcome 
 guest never crossed a man's threshold. Where are 
 your traps ? I'll send a man for them ; no protesta- 
 tions " as the Englishman, still impressed with the 
 inopportuneness of his arrival, was about to negative 
 the proposition "I've got you, and I mean to keep 
 you. Great Heavens, man ! can't you imagine how 
 lonely I am in this great, desolate house ? " 
 
 His words and tone bore conviction with them; 
 and having sent off the butler in a cab, with full in- 
 structions to settle Wyndham's bill at his hotel and 
 return with his luggage, Lamar ordered up the liquid 
 refreshments which men deem essential to thorough- 
 going bien-etre, aud the two established themselves 
 for a long discursive talk, which lasted far into the 
 night.
 
 50 DOCTOR LAM AH. 
 
 A stranger observing the two men, as they sat 
 facing each other, after six years' separation, would 
 undoubtedly have felt a genuine surprise at being 
 informed of the warm tie of congenial friendship 
 uniting them. Yet more marked would have been 
 his astonishment at learning that, in point of age, 
 Wyndham possessed the advantage, or disadvantage, 
 as one chooses to consider it, of four additional years. 
 
 His smooth, boyish face, with its bright, ingenuous 
 expression, bore scant testimony to his thirty-eight 
 years of life, and it would have been a simple matter 
 for him to pass for some ten years younger; while 
 the grave, thoughtful brow, bearded mouth and chin, 
 and slightly grizzled hair of the physician, bespoke 
 a faithful apprenticeship to that science which 
 demands such constant self-sacrifice from its dis- 
 ciples. 
 
 There had been a somewhat intermittent correspond- 
 ence maintained between the two since their parting, 
 but their letters had been sufficiently frequent to keep 
 each informed of the important events in the life of 
 the other. One of these soon came under discussion 
 now, Wyndham introducing it in a tentative manner 
 as if doubting how his friend might treat it. 
 
 " I believe I wrote you, Lamar, that I had decided 
 to change my profession ? " lie hazarded, while a little 
 flush dyed his fair skin.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 51 
 
 Lamar leaned forward and stirred the fire some- 
 what impatiently. The cause of this change was the 
 rock upon which their opinions had formerly split, 
 though in the old student days the waters of indiffer- 
 ence had more deeply submerged it than now. 
 
 During the intervening years the matter had risen 
 more obstinately to the surface of both lives, and 
 each man after his own fashion had studied and pon- 
 dered it, the results attained by research and reflec- 
 tion being widely different in the two cases. What 
 had then been merely an incidental subject of argu- 
 ment and discussion had now become to both a 
 matter of special pleading, a question of profound 
 importance. Both had brought to bear upon the 
 question of Christianity all the best that their minds 
 afforded, and each had become but the firmer 
 adherent to his own primary convictions. It was 
 with pain, therefore, that, on this, the very eve of 
 their reunion, Lamar saw a subject of such iuhar- 
 mony of thought broached. 
 
 " Yes," he replied, rather shortly ; " you did." 
 
 "There was no use," the other man continued; 
 " I must have been born to the ministry. I have 
 always had such a strong inclination toward it. Did 
 you know I had taken orders ? " 
 
 "No."
 
 52 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 There was no surprise in the response, but a crisp- 
 ness of tone which certainly bore no encouragement 
 to further revelation of a similar nature. This, how- 
 ever, did not deter Wyndham.' 
 
 " Yes," he went on ; " I'm a full-fledged clergyman 
 of the Church pf England. I'm after the unregen- 
 erate with a sharp stick; that's one reason I have 
 come over after you." He broke into a hearty laugh, 
 so hearty that it caused even Lamar to smile sympa- 
 thetically, while a recollection of its inappropriate- 
 ness to a house of mourning shamed its perpetrator 
 into sudden silence. 
 
 "You will find me a tough subject, I'm afraid," 
 Lamar replied. "I'm several degrees worse than I 
 was in Heidelberg. However, old fellow, if the 
 length of your stay depends upon my conversion to 
 Christianity, I have less cause than ever to regret 
 the unorthodoxy of my opinions." 
 
 " I wish indeed I might make a convert of you," 
 Wyndham replied more gravely. Then, after a 
 pause of some moments, during which each man 
 was busy with his own thoughts, 
 
 " Philip," he said, " if the wound isn't too recent 
 a one, tell me something about your wife. She was 
 as strongly sceptical as you?" 
 
 "Yes, even more so, I think. I believe her mind
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 53 
 
 was vastly superior to mine. She seemed to have a 
 clearer intellectual grasp of things which eluded my 
 mental clutch. Her balance was a very true one. 
 Where I wavered, she stood firm ; where I was dis- 
 posed to temporize with truth, she decided at once. 
 The clarity of her perceptions was remarkable. Her 
 judgment was sound, clear, and rational ; and the 
 difference between us is at once manifest when I tell 
 you that she was an atheist and I an agnostic. She 
 was convinced that there was nothing beyond the 
 grave, while I, though professing to share her convic- 
 tions, in my secret heart am disposed to shirk the 
 hopeless conclusion by admitting that I 'do not 
 know.' " 
 
 A look of intense pity came into Wyndham's eyes. 
 
 "And she died in this terrible belief? She could 
 lie, as you tell me she did, day after day and stare 
 oblivion calmly in the face ? She could not have 
 been resigned to such a dreary, hopeless end ! " 
 
 " Resigned ! " Lamar repeated with emphasis ; 
 " why, she was more than that, Wyndham ; she 
 courted death. N"o Christian ever craved immor- 
 tality more strongly than poor Laura yearned for 
 oblivion ; I can prove it to you. Listen. You know 
 what the nature of the poor girl's malady was ? 
 Yes, I thought I wrote you. A cancer is, as you
 
 54 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 may perhaps be aware, a disease whose tortures are 
 equalled by scarcely any other on earth. Its agonies 
 are beyond the conception of any save those who have 
 borne them or witnessed their devilish malignancy. 
 Laura bore them like the brave, strong woman she 
 was, uncomplainingly and unnmrmuringly, thor- 
 oughly aware of the hopelessness of her case and 
 calm before the prospect of death. This wonderful 
 fortitude lasted for months, during which I never 
 heard her breathe a word of complaint, while she 
 ever had a bright smile of welcome and cheer for my 
 exhausted spirit. 
 
 "Day by day the inroads of the monster increased, 
 and, notwithstanding her utmost efforts, I could see 
 that her endurance was being slowly sapped and her 
 courage undermined. Yet she strove to triumph 
 over the weakness of her poor flesh and force her 
 spirit to conquer the body. Wyndham, I believe 
 that no human being is capable of making a more 
 valiant fight against the weakness of the flesh than 
 my wife did. I have had some experience of suffer- 
 ing borne by men and women, and & have never seen 
 a more reluctant surrender of spirit than hers. But 
 at last even she was forced to yield. She had one 
 day been suffering the tortures of the damned, to 
 borrow one of your stock phrases, her agonies had
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 55 
 
 even wrung the stout nerves of a Drained nurse, and 
 forced hot tears of pity from my accustomed eyes. 
 She called nie to her and begged me, as I loved her, 
 to spare her further suffering." 
 
 "Meaning? " 
 
 " Meaning that I should apply some of my knowl- 
 edge of the pharmacopoeia to her case, and grant her 
 a release from pain and an entrance into that obliv- 
 ion which you seem to think we must necessarily 
 dread contemplating." 
 
 He had been so interested in his recital, so 
 absorbed in recollection of that closing scene in his 
 * wife's life, that he had failed to note the look of 
 horror that was slowly dawning upon his hearer's 
 face. Wyudham's agitated question was the first 
 intimation he received that he had shocked his 
 friend's prejudices by his relation. 
 
 "Lamar! Surely, surely you did not do this 
 thing ? " 
 
 The doctor turned and encountered the expression 
 of moral recoil upon Wyndham's face. A little smile 
 of contempt for his friend's old-fashioned scruples 
 curved his firm lips. 
 
 " Surely, I did, Wyndham," he replied, seeing that 
 he had made a mistake in mentioning the sad busi- 
 ness, but, with the honesty which was so admirable
 
 56 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 a quality in his character, remaining steadfast to the 
 truth. 
 
 "Then may God forgive you," his friend returned 
 earnestly. "Lamar, you have done an awful thing. 
 Admit it or not, as you will, you have committed a 
 crime against the Power that gave you birth, in send- 
 ing a soul into eternity before its time. Great 
 Heaven ! to what lengths will your freedom of 
 thought lead you ? " 
 
 He rose and paced the room in deep agitation. 
 This act committed by the man he loved above all 
 others and related with a sang-froid which but 
 increased its horror, evincing as it did an uncon- 
 sciousness of guilt, disturbed alike his conventional 
 susceptibilities and his theory of man's accounta- 
 bility to God for the preservation of that life which 
 he considered the Divine essence. His unaffected 
 emotion even impressed Lamar a trifle. A shade 
 settled over his features. 
 
 "Wyndham," he said, "I am sorry that our first 
 meeting after six years should have resulted in dis- 
 tressing us both. You feel aggrieved that I have 
 obeyed the dictates of humanity and love in sparing 
 my poor wife additional suffering; while I am disap- 
 pointed that a man of your breadth of views on 
 material matters can permit yourself to become
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 57 
 
 entangled in the suffocating meshes of worn-out 
 creeds and superstitions. Yet, old fellow, we cannot 
 afford to let our friendship suffer in consequence of 
 our mutual dissatisfaction at least, I cannot. Let 
 us bury the hatchet, and never again refer to the 
 admission which I have made, and which, I see, has 
 wounded your prejudices. Look on me as a heathen 
 if you will, as a criminal if you must, but in any case 
 as a man who is none too happy, who cannot let your 
 friendship slip from him, and who, perhaps, presents 
 as fair a field for missionary labor as any you may 
 find. Robert, dear old man, you won't desert 
 me ? " 
 
 A more winning tone and manner than Lamar's 
 when he chose to drop his professional gravity and 
 permit his individuality to escape, could not well be 
 imagined. They 'appealed at once to the warm, 
 affectionate heart of Wyndham, and overcame the 
 impulse of shocked intolerance which had tempted 
 him to cast off his friend. He paused an instant and 
 then his scruples yielded. With a couple of long 
 strides he reached Lamar's side and grasped his 
 hand. 
 
 "Philip," he said, "whatever you are, I love you. 
 There has always been but one real man in the world 
 to me, and you are he. God bless you, old fellow !
 
 58 DOCTOR LAMAIt. 
 
 whether you will or no, and grant that nothing may 
 ever come between us." 
 
 A little later the friends separated for the night ; 
 both, notwithstanding their reluctant acknowledg- 
 ment of the wide gulf yawning between them, happy 
 in the consciousness that the same roof again shel- 
 tered, and the same affection still united, them.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAll. 59 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 THERE is a decided air of excitement prevailing at 
 Fordham rectory. Spring has matured into summer. 
 America has yielded place to England. The scene is 
 the home of the Wyndhams, and the month is June. 
 An English June is a fair thing, made up of blossoms, 
 tender buds, and sunshine ; a thing of beauty giving 
 promise of a later development into rich fruition. 
 Therefore, what fitter character can I choose to greet 
 my reader upon his introduction to this English 
 month of roses than the young maiden who stands, 
 with hands filled with fragrant flowers, and sweet, 
 flushed face, peering over her sister's shoulder to gain 
 immediate possession of the tidings a telegram has 
 just brought to the rectory ? 
 
 " They are coming to-night, Rhea ! " she exclaimed, 
 in a tone which culminated in a little cry at her 
 sister's name. " My goodness ! but we must fly 
 'round." 
 
 Rebecca Wyndham smiled. Her sister's impet- 
 uosity was so foreign to her own calm, staid charac-
 
 60 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 ter, that it never failed to provoke her amusement. 
 Yet there was a little frown of perplexity, too, 
 knitting the broad brow from which the soft brown 
 hair was so smoothly banded away for Eebecca 
 Wyndham was her widowed father's housekeeper, 
 and Fordham rectory was some twelve miles distant 
 from market-town, which two facts added to that of 
 the unexpectedly imminent arrival of a strange guest 
 may explain, to feminine minds at least, the appear- 
 ance of the knitted brow. 
 
 The younger girl observed the anxious expression. 
 
 "What's the matter, Khea?" she asked sympa- 
 thetically ; "larder low, sheets not aired, or Catherine 
 crusty ? " Catherine being the cook. 
 
 Miss Wyndham's concern was somewhat increased 
 by the last suggestion. Catherine's temper was 
 always an unknown quantity, an important factor in 
 her domestic calculations. However, this disturbing 
 recollection did not form her chief uneasiness upon 
 the present occasion. 
 
 "It is the larder, Natalie," she said. "I had no 
 idea that Robert and his friend would come before 
 the end of the week, and there is really nothing fit 
 to offer a stranger in the house. If I could only 
 catch the carrier, I could send in for something to 
 last over ! "
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 61 
 
 Natalie glanced at the clock on the mantel, and 
 shook her head. 
 
 " Too late, by half an hour," she remarked ; then, 
 "Khea! Wait!" she cried, running to a table and 
 dropping her fragrant burden pell-mell with scant 
 regard for its injury. " I can catch him ! Make out 
 your list, quick, and I'll tell Barker to saddle Jenny. 
 I can cut Benham off at the Melbury crossroads at 
 ten, if you hurry." 
 
 She was up in her room changing her gown for a 
 habit before her sister had fairly grasped the propo- 
 sition ; and as the careful housekeeper jotted down 
 the necessary items on her list, she could hear the 
 clear, ringing voice shouting from the window that 
 overlooked the stable-yard, 
 
 " Barker, quick, saddle Jenny, and bring her 'round. 
 Lengthen the stirrups a bit, Barker, will you ? I 
 believe I'm growing a trifle these fine days." 
 
 Miss Wyndham's list was scarcely finished before 
 her messenger was ready. Natalie came into the 
 room buttoning her gloves, her short habit tucked up 
 a trifle under one arm, and her riding-crop under the 
 other. As she took the memorandum she observed 
 hurriedly, 
 
 " Don't expect me home to lunch, Rhea ; as long as 
 I am going as far as the crossroads, I'll ride on to
 
 62 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 Melbury, and lunch with the Dunstanes. Eleanor ig 
 going up to London Friday for the rest of the season, 
 and I want to say good-by. Any message to them ? " 
 
 " My love, that's all. Natalie, you're a good child 
 to take all this trouble." 
 
 " Nonsense ! To tell you the truth, Becky, I am 
 really fleeing from the wrath to come. I'd do a good 
 deal to escape one of Catherine's ebullitions. Poor 
 Becky ! you have all the horrors, and I all the pleas- 
 ures of life. What a shirk I am, to be sure ! " 
 
 She put up her hand, and patted her sister's cheek, 
 while the latter laid a caressing touch for an instant 
 on the pretty shoulder. Another minute and the 
 room was vacated, Natalie riding away on her errand, 
 while the elder sister departed on hospitable thoughts 
 intent, though the poetry of her purpose was some- 
 what marred by the very prosaic consideration of 
 Catherine's " contrariness," as Barker called it. 
 
 Fordham rectory stood in the midst of a very fairly 
 populous parish, which, while it gave ample employ- 
 ment to its rector or his vicegerents, afforded no very 
 great pecuniary reimbursement for the time spent in 
 ministering to its spiritual needs. The Kev. Charles 
 Wyndham had been its incumbent for nearly half a 
 century, and during that time had presented the 
 comfortable rambling old rectory with two mistresses,
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 63 
 
 both of whom had deserted their post of honor, and 
 left its cares and responsibilities to devolve upon the 
 shoulders of the grave young girl, who was the eldest 
 daughter of the house. 
 
 The first Mrs. Wyndham had been an heiress in a 
 small way, and her property, at her death, had passed 
 to her two children, Kobert and Rebecca Rhea, as 
 she was commonly called. 
 
 The rector's second wife had been a penniless gov- 
 erness, engaged by Mr. Wyndham shortly after his 
 wife's death to superintend the education of his little 
 daughter, then about ten years old. Mrs. Wyndham 
 second was a fair, gentle creature, with no dowry 
 but her pretty face, sweet manners, and loving nature. 
 She had followed her predecessor's example, and 
 transmitted this, her sole wealth, to her child 
 Natalie. 
 
 The warmest affection had existed between Rhea 
 Wyndham and her step-mother, and the girl's grief at 
 the latter's death had been as sincere as if she had 
 lost a beloved sister. Her gratitude for the motherly 
 love and care which the dead woman had bestowed 
 upon her manifested itself in an unremitting devo- 
 tion to the little girl left in her charge. 
 
 " The rector's daughter," as Rebecca Wyndham was 
 called in the parish, possessed one of the most
 
 64 DOCTOR LAMAIi. 
 
 genuine and unselfish characters that ever inhabited 
 a woman's body. Her loveliness was entirely that of 
 mind and soul, her body being singularly deficient in 
 grace and beauty. While not actually deformed, 
 there was about her figure a height and squareness 
 of shoulder, a shortness of neck and length of arm. 
 which rendered her appearance exceedingly awkward. 
 Her face was equally imperfect. 
 
 She was very near-sighted, and as the bridge of her 
 nose was too greatly depressed to permit of the use of 
 a pince-nez, and Natalie would not allow her to wear 
 spectacles, save in the seclusion of her own chamber, 
 she was obliged to have recourse to a short lorgnette. 
 When the employment of her hands rendered this 
 unavailable, she had a habit of half closing her eyes, 
 or squinting, to gain clearer sight. Her features were 
 ill-proportioned, her mouth especially being unduly 
 large, although the magnificently strong white teeth 
 within partially redeemed its disfiguring width. 
 
 It was astonishing, however, how one could grow 
 to love this plain face, and how comforting and 
 reassuring was the touch or clasp of that large, un- 
 shapely hand. Miss Wyndham's step was heavy, and 
 her movements awkward, yet her presence in a sick- 
 room had never evoked a complaint from the most 
 sensitive nerves ; her voice was unmusical and some-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 65 
 
 what harsh in ordinary conversation, yet the pure, 
 dulcet tones of Natalie's sweet contralto possessed no 
 such power of soothing and cheering as the unmelo- 
 dious accents of her elder sister. 
 
 She was a power for good in the parish, and more 
 truly the rector than that gentleman himself. Her 
 dress was so plain and ungarnished that it presented 
 no harsh contrast with the poorest attire ; her man- 
 ners were so simple that no discordant note of 
 apparent superiority disturbed the harmony of her 
 ministrations among the rustic needy ; her advice 
 and efforts in their behalf were so practical and well 
 directed that they appealed at once to the common- 
 sense of the poorer classes. In a word, she was a 
 Christian woman in the fullest meaning of the terra. 
 
 The rector was growing an old man. Every year 
 told more upon him now than a decade had formerly 
 done ; therefore, Rhea collaborated with the young 
 curate, Derrick Grafton, to spare her father all the 
 petty details and perplexities consequent upon his 
 position. Grafton read the Morning Prayers, and 
 took the entire evening services, officiated at wed- 
 dings and funerals, save in rare and exceptional cases 
 when the presence of the rector himself was espe- 
 cially requested, and together he and Rhea shared the 
 visitation of the poor and sick.
 
 66 DOCTOR LAM A It. 
 
 Thus the rector was left to enjoy a quiet and tran- 
 quil old age. His time was divided between his 
 garden and books, while an occasional invitation 
 to dinner from his wealthier parishioners, and the 
 high spirits and joyous laughter of his younger 
 daughter, served to brighten and vary his somewhat 
 monotonous existence. 
 
 There was little doubt that Natalie Wyndham was 
 a spoiled child, that is if the term is supposed to 
 define the object of a system of steady indulgence. 
 The process, in this case, had apparently produced no 
 pernicious effects, and the result seemed to justify its 
 application. 
 
 Love for Natalie had been the weak spot in her 
 sister's otherwise strong, unsentimental character. 
 In its presence all Rhea's wise theories of discipline 
 and strict control, which she so earnestly inculcated 
 in the minds of the mothers of the parish, were 
 transformed into smiling acquiescence and amused 
 compliance. From the hour of her birth the child 
 had ruled the whole household fortunately her 
 tyranny had been a mild one. A nature less sweet 
 and unselfish than Natalie's might easily have suf- 
 fered detriment from such a system of steady humor- 
 ing, whose reaction might have proved a sufficient 
 retribution to those who had sanctioned it. But it
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 67 
 
 was not so in Natalie's case. The loving clemency 
 with which she had been treated had brought forth 
 and perfected all the beautiful traits in her character, 
 and they were many. 
 
 Love had begotten love ; unselfishness, generosity ; 
 tolerance, charity ; tenderness, thonghtfnlness for 
 others ; and sympathy, warm-heartedness. Rhea's 
 smiles had engendered an abundant harvest of mirth 
 and gayety ; and tears were as un frequent visitors to 
 Natalie's eyes as frowns to Rhea's brow. 
 
 It was to a pleasant home that Robert Wyndham . 
 was bringing his friend on that sweet June afternoon. 
 The dog-cart, a comfortable enough affair, albeit like 
 its master, a trifle overpast and superannuated, had 
 been sent to the station to meet the travellers, and 
 Rhea was putting a few smoothing touches to her 
 hair and wishing that Natalie could have found it 
 quite as convenient to return before, as after, their 
 guest's arrival, for she felt how much more prepos- 
 sessing the rectory was to a stranger when its some- 
 what shabby walls were irradiated by the light of 
 Natalie's charming face. 
 
 It had been some weeks since she had received the 
 first intimation of the possible advent of a guest. 
 Robert had taken a holiday trip after his ordination 
 for the purpose of visiting his old fellow-student,
 
 68 DOCTOR LAM AH. 
 
 Dr. Lainav, in America. He had written her of the 
 sad tidings that awaited his arrival, in the death of 
 his friend's wife, news for which, as she well knew, 
 he had not been altogether unprepared. A little 
 later had come a letter speaking of Dr. Lamar's 
 restless, depressed condition, attributable partly to 
 his bereavement, bub in the main to an overworked 
 brain and body. In this communication Robert had 
 mentioned that he was urging his friend to abandon 
 his professional duties for a time, and try what a 
 change would do for him. " Possibly," he added, " I 
 may be able to induce him to return with me. In 
 which event I know you will give him a welcome 
 for my sake, as you will soon learn to admire him 
 for his own." 
 
 She had been wondering, as she occupied herself 
 in preparations for his coming, what manner of man 
 this friend of her brother's would prove to be. She 
 was well aware of the enthusiastic esteem in which 
 Robert held him ; yet there had always been a slight 
 reservation in Robert's mention of Dr. Lamar, which 
 had aroused in the thoughtful sister certain vague 
 and undefined suspicions, at which her brother 
 laughed heartily. 
 
 This reservation was of course due to Wyndham's 
 consciousness of his friend's atheistical tendencies,
 
 DOCTOR LAMA It. 69 
 
 tendencies which, since those intimate Heidelberg 
 days, had strengthened into convictions whose amaz- 
 ing breadth of scepticism had been an appalling 
 discovery consequent upon their reunion. 
 
 Well cognizant of the stronghold that a deep 
 religious belief possessed in the hearts of his 
 home-circle, Robert had carefully refrained from 
 mentioning Lamar's agnosticism to any of its mem- 
 bers, fearing that by so doing he should do his friend 
 an incalculable injury in the minds of those whom 
 he desired should learn to know and admire him. 
 Love for Lamar had induced him, somewhat against 
 his better judgment, to propose, nay, even to urge, 
 a visit to the quiet, tranquil rectory, in the hope 
 that the change from the over-taxed life of the phy- 
 sician to the restful existence of the idle guest 
 might prove successful in ridding Lamar's horizon 
 of the cloud of despondency which seemed settling 
 upon it. 
 
 The village clock, whose chimes Rhea could vaguely 
 distinguish as the burden of the soft June breeze, was 
 striking four, as Miss Wyndham gave a last glance at 
 the sweet, lavender-scented guest chamber, whose 
 fresh, daintily nice appearance breathed an air of 
 silent welcome to its coming tenant. The roses 
 which Natalie had so unceremoniously deserted in
 
 70 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 the morning were carefully arranged upon mantel 
 and shaving-stand. The old-fashioned, white dimity 
 curtains with their cunning little ball fringe were 
 looped wisely back from the generous windows, 
 whose casements were made up of many tiny, 
 leaded panes, to permit of the free entrance of 
 the perfumed breeze, as well as of the full view of 
 a veritable wild garden, Natalie's special charge, 
 wherein she allowed horticulture to fairly run riot, 
 undisturbed by the confinement of plot or parterre, 
 and which was an actual tangle of pretty, old-time 
 flowers. 
 
 This made a charming foreground to a delicious 
 landscape of the village, backed by a hazy suggestion 
 of soft, rolling hills. A thread of silvery water 
 wound in and out among the green fields and 
 meadows, and shone like burnished metal in the 
 sun's rays. A glimpse of the highroad, too, was 
 visible from the windows, and because of this Miss 
 Wyndham was made aware that the antiquated dog- 
 cart was rapidly nearing the house. 
 
 It was a habit at the rectory for its hosts to go out 
 upon the porch and greet their guests, anticipating 
 with cordial welcome the ordinary summons for ad- 
 mittance. Rhea had scarcely time to call her father 
 to his post before the cart drew up.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 71 
 
 Before the motion of the vehicle had fairly ceased 
 Robert, flinging the reins to Barker, had jumped to 
 the ground and drawn Rhea into his embrace ; a 
 warm clasp of his father's hand, and then he turned 
 to his friend. 
 
 As Lamar stood awaiting his turn for recognition 
 he felt a thrill of genuine pleasure in his surround- 
 ings. It almost seemed like a home-coming to him 
 also, there was such an air of peace and comfort 
 about this homely English dwelling. The clasp of 
 Rhea's broad hand, and the kind, cordial words of 
 the old rector enhanced this comfortable impression, 
 and he felt a warm sense of gratitude to Wyndhani 
 for having brought him hither. 
 
 As they entered the sitting-room an exclamation 
 of delight escaped him, for which he quickly apolo- 
 gized in such nattering terms as brought a flush of 
 pleasure to Rhea's cheeks. 
 
 '' Oh, pardon me, Miss Wyndham ; " he said ; " but 
 I have never before seen such an atmosphere of real 
 homeliness in a room. You cannot tell how delight- 
 ful it is to me." 
 
 The room was indeed charming, yet its simplicity 
 in the matter of furnishing would have outrivalled 
 that of most American middle-class abodes. It was 
 a long, low-studded apartment, with glass doors at the
 
 72 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 further end opening upon the back of Natalie's 
 garden. The furniture was wicker-work, generously 
 supplied with chintz-covered cushions of various hues 
 and patterns. Tables of all sorts and sizes were 
 scattered about, convenient receptacles for books, 
 work, or whatever objects encumbered the hands. A 
 cottage piano stood in an angle, and a couple of broad, 
 low lounges invited the weary or lazy to siesta. 
 Flowers were liberally strewn everywhere, and the 
 latticed windows were thrown hospitably open to 
 the breeze. 
 
 It suddenly seemed to Lamar that he had never 
 been in a home before. Houses in plenty he had 
 visited, one or two he had even lived in ; but not 
 under any roof hitherto had he experienced this 
 material definition of the word home. As he gazed 
 about, becoming a willing victim to the pervading 
 atmosphere, he was moved to further expression of 
 his feelings on the subject, thereby quite completing 
 Rhea's subjugation. 
 
 " Do you know, Mr. Wyndham," he said, " I believe 
 that hitherto I have lived a la franyaise, cTiez moi 
 For the first time I understand the difference between 
 the term and the English monosyllable, home. I can 
 quite comprehend now, Wyndham's impatience to 
 return."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 73 
 
 Tea was being served on one of the little wicker 
 tables, and Robert was talking America to his father 
 and sister when Natalie arrived. Her coming was 
 heralded by the sound of Jenny's hoofs, and Lamar, 
 who was sitting with Rhea in one of the broad 
 window-seats, glanced- at her with a look of inquiry 
 as the mare came up to the door. * 
 
 " It is the child," Rhea remarked, half uncon- 
 sciously ; then correcting herself, and laughing a little 
 at her unceremonious answer, " I mean it is my 
 younger sister, Natalie."
 
 74 DOCTOR LAM AIL 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 " MY younger sister, Natalie " occupied Lamar's 
 thoughts not altogether agreeably during some 
 moments of the time allotted for the preparation of 
 his toilet for dinner. 
 
 Evening dress was not de rigeur at the rectory on 
 ordinary occasions, a fact which chimed in harmoni- 
 ously with Lamar's American prejudices, and with 
 the general atmosphere of unconventionality which 
 pervaded the establishment. And it was while he 
 was effecting the compromise of a black cutaway that 
 the recollection of Natalie Wyndham occurred to him. 
 
 He had caught but a cursory view of her as she 
 dismounted, for she had declared herself too dusty 
 for presentation in response to Robert's request that 
 she should come in and meet his friend, and, having 
 begged a reprieve, had vanished into some portion of 
 the house unfamiliar to the guest's acquaintance. 
 
 However, this glimpse had revealed to Lamar that 
 she was a young girl and, moreover, a merry, laughter- 
 loving creature, in both of which conditions she 
 failed to meet with his notion of the fitness of
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 75 
 
 things. In the first place she made an awkward fifth 
 in the pleasant parti carre, whose proportions had 
 seemed quite perfect without her, and in the next she 
 would very probably be noisy and flirtatious, as were 
 most of the younger Xew York girls with whom Dr. 
 Lamar had come in contact. 
 
 Now, as he had come to Fordham for absolute rest, 
 it seemed to him a little hard that this unwelcome 
 element need have obtruded itself upon his antici- 
 pated tranquillity. Yet he was perforce obliged to 
 confess to himself, notwithstanding this annoyance, 
 that the rectory and its inmates had, with this 
 exception, so widely exceeded his expectations that 
 he could afford a little margin in the way of 
 disappointment. 
 
 For some reason, either physical or mental, he had 
 found it impossible to return to his professional 
 duties after his wife's death with anything like the 
 same degree of interest with which they had for- 
 merly inspired him. He had made a brave effort 
 to recover his self-poise, but for the first time in his 
 life found his will-strength insufficient to meet the 
 demand laid upon it. He felt utterly weary arid 
 incapacitated, and was at last fain to consent to 
 Wyndham's proposition of a period of rest and travel. 
 
 From the bustle and confusion of the great
 
 76 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 American metropolis, to the peace and quiet of the 
 tiny English village ; from the rigid formality of his 
 own house, whose mistress had lacked the feminine 
 talent for harmonious and attractive arrangement, 
 to this charming old dwelling whose every nook and 
 corner breathed evidence of taste and loving care, 
 the transition was not only a wide but an extremely 
 welcome one. 
 
 A feeling of dolce far niente took possession of him, 
 and tranquil monotony, unbroken by demand or 
 responsibility, seemed to him of all earthly attain- 
 ments the most desirable. 
 
 He had been told to go down into the sitting-room 
 again when he should be ready, and so presently he 
 descended the wide, crooked staircase, and re-entered 
 the shadowy room. Evidently his preparations had 
 anticipated the expectations of his hosts, for lie 
 found the room untenanted. He occupied a few 
 moments in strolling about the apartment and 
 familiarizing himself with its adornments. Then, 
 tempted by the open glass doors, he wandered out 
 into the wilderness of sweets which Natalie called 
 her garden. 
 
 The profusion and variety of bloom was quite a 
 botanical revelation to the city-bred man. Flowers 
 had heretofore meant to him a costly luxury to be
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 77 
 
 purchased carefully and with discretion. Here roses 
 for whose fellows he had often paid a dollar 
 apiece fairly rioted in reckless abundance ; while 
 hundreds of blossoms utterly foreign to Lamar's 
 experience made the spot gay and charming by their 
 fragrance and brilliant beauty. 
 
 Suddenly a sound of voices quite close at hand 
 arrested his attention, and a burst of the gayest, 
 most joyous laughter he had ever heard, forced a 
 sympathetic smile to his lips. 
 
 " Wonderful ! " he said to himself. " By Jove ! I 
 did not think any one beyond the age of childhood 
 could laugh so heartily and spontaneously ! " 
 
 In an endeavor to discover whence the sounds 
 proceeded, he held his breath to listen, and heard a 
 voice, half stifled by amusement, exclaim, 
 
 "You sent for sweetbreads, and Benham brought 
 you buns ! Oh, Becky ! " followed by another peal 
 of merriment, in which were mingled expostulations, 
 in tones which Lamar recognized as those of Miss 
 Wyndham. 
 
 " Hush, hush, Natalie ! He will certainly hear you. 
 Dear me ! it is no such laughing matter after all, for 
 I have no other entree for dinner." 
 
 " Why not serve the buns, au natnrel, accompanied 
 by a sauce piquante in the way of the story itself ?
 
 78 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 If the man has the slightest suspicion of humor in 
 his composition, he will relish the joke quite as much 
 as he would have done the original dish." 
 
 There was another little amused chuckle, and 
 Lamar had just time to move to a more becoming 
 distance, when a sort of Dutch half-door opened, and 
 a girl came out into the garden, and, unobservant of 
 his presence, proceeded to a great bush of sweet-brier 
 roses, upon which she evidently intended to commit 
 depredation. But the blossoms apparently approved 
 her thievish purpose, for they nodded and swayeM 
 toward her as she approached, brushing her gown 
 and caressing her slender figure with mute endear- 
 ments as she paused beside them. 
 
 Lamar had an excellent opportunity to observe her 
 as she stood so near him, and yet so unconscious of 
 his proximity, and for some reason the picture that 
 she made, framed in the garden's bloom, never escaped 
 his memory, even in long after-years. 
 
 It was that of a tall and rather slight maiden, clad 
 in an exceedingly simple gown of some thin, white 
 material, whose transparency about the neck and 
 arms permitted the warmer hue of the flesh beneath 
 to tint its purity with a soft pink. Her head was 
 somewhat small, but firmly set on the full, round 
 throat; the hair was dusky and very abundant, being
 
 DOCTOR LAM AS. 79 
 
 gathered simply and carelessly back from the brow 
 in a fashion that struck Lamar as exceedingly quaint 
 and original, and knotted loosely at the back of the 
 head. 
 
 What impressed him most forcibly in the girl's 
 appearance was not her beauty though he admitted 
 that she was quite lovely enough for even the most 
 critical taste but the absolute joyousness and ex- 
 emption from care and sorrow which shone from her 
 dark eyes, and were apparent in every line of her 
 face. He could have sworn that the shadow of 
 trouble had never, even transiently, clouded her 
 countenance; and the look of unworldliness and 
 innocence that lay upon its every curve was almost 
 pathetic to one who recognized the certainty that all 
 of Eve's daughters must sooner or later eat of the 
 tree of knowledge of good and evil. 
 
 Even now as she stood there, believing herself 
 alone, a smile, probably bom of mere habit, was 
 playing about her mouth to the accompaniment of a 
 little humming refrain, which of a sudden yielded to 
 a cry of pain as a treacherous thorn dealt her brief 
 punishment for rifling its fairer comrades. This 
 little episode afforded Lamar an excuse for coming 
 forward. 
 
 " Pardon me," he said, " may I not cut those for 
 you?"
 
 80 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Natalie started at the unexpected interruption, 
 and then, transferring her last acquisition to the 
 companionship of its fellows if! her left hand, held 
 out the right with a bright, cordial glance a little 
 tempered by the recollection of the stranger's recent 
 bereavement, a fact which had weighed somewhat 
 heavily upon her spirits since she knew that they 
 were to be honored with his society. 
 
 " Dr. Lamar ? " she said half questioningly. " I 
 am Natalie Wyndham, Robert's sister, and very glad 
 to see you at Fordham." 
 
 When they were seated at dinner, a little later, she 
 had a much better chance, beneath the lamp-light, to 
 see what this friend and guest of Robert's looked 
 like. And on the whole she was decidedly prepos- 
 sessed. She liked his dark gray eyes with their look 
 of grave thoughtfulness, and admired the power 
 which was the keynote of the strong, earnest face. 
 His irregularity of feature did not trouble her in 
 the least, though she did object seriously to his 
 beard an abhorrence of whiskers being one of her 
 prejudices. She was especially drawn to him by 
 reason of the gray hairs which were so plentifully 
 sprinkled over his broad, intellectual brow, and by 
 what she chose to imagine the melancholy of his 
 expression and bearing which, less romantically
 
 DOCTOR LAMAB. 81 
 
 interpreted, was simply a gravity partly natural and 
 partly due to the influence of a serious and exhaust- 
 ing profession. 
 
 Being at that age when melancholy in the other 
 sex arouses a special interest in the female heart, 
 Natalie felt her susceptibilities keenly touched by 
 Lamar's apparent sadness, and secretly vowed herself 
 to a mission which should have for its aim the 
 lightening of the burden of mourning, which, she felt 
 convinced, was depressing Dr. Lamar's soul. 
 
 As for Laiuar himself, he paid but scant attention 
 to the girl after the rest of the family appeared, and 
 quite devoted himself to the rector, with whom he 
 apparently had much in common. 
 
 This left the others at liberty to discuss home 
 topics, and gave Robert a chance to inform himself 
 of the news and gossip of the neighborhood. 
 
 " How do you and Grafton get on nowadays, 
 Natalie ? " he asked mischievously, after a number 
 of current local events had been disposed of. 
 
 " Oh, horribly ! He is a dreadful boor, I think, 
 and I only wonder that papa and Rhea can tolerate 
 such an ill-mannered person." 
 
 " Hah, hah ! What now ? Has the poor fellow's 
 admiration culminated again ? Are not the periods 
 becoming more frequent ? If I remember aright, his
 
 82 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 fifth crisis occurred just before my departure. I 
 fancied the effects of your rejections usually were of 
 longer duration ; hey, Rhea?" 
 
 Miss Wyndham smiled, while Lamar cast a little 
 amused glance at Natalie, whose cheeks had grown 
 warm with a pretty blush, while she expostulated 
 hotly with her tormentor. 
 
 " Stop, Robert," she said. " What false impres- 
 sions you are giving Dr. Lamar! It is nothing of 
 the kind, I assure you, sir; Robert is jesting," she 
 protested, turning to their guest. " It is just this 
 that is the trouble, Robert. Derrick Grafton con- 
 siders himself so much older than I, and so vastly my 
 superior in knowledge of the world. He excuses his 
 rudeness on the ground that he wants to shield me 
 from contamination only fancy! He was detest 1 
 able to me once before in the same way. I met him 
 one day coming over the meadows from the river 
 he had been spending an idle day punting about, he 
 said. I saw a book with a yellow cover peeping out 
 of his pocket, and asked him what it was. He got 
 terribly red, and said it was a French book which he 
 had been reading from a critical standpoint to oblige 
 a friend. I told him I should like to read it, as I 
 had such difficulty in keeping up my French for want 
 of material. Then he got on his stilts, and said, in
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 83 
 
 that superior tone of his, 'I am sorry I cannot let 
 you have this work, but it is not a proper book for 
 you to read.' Now, fancy the absurdity of that ! As 
 if a clergyman has any right to read a book which 
 is unfit for a lady ! " 
 
 She looked very indignant, and her dark blue eyes 
 (Laraar had discovered them to be blue) flashed like 
 those of an angry child. 
 
 The rest laughed, and Robert, bent on drawing her 
 out, asked, 
 
 " How long did you make the poor fellow roast for 
 that offence ? " 
 
 " Well, I let him see that I disapproved of him, 
 and was very cool to him until the school-treat, when 
 somehow or other we got friendly over Jemmy 
 Barstow. You know what a little imp he is, Robert ? 
 Well, Lady Mary had. sent a barrel of lemonade as 
 part of her contribution. Two or three of the staves 
 were taken out, and the barrel, covered with flowers 
 and vines, was placed sidewise on a low stand. 
 Nelly Milton, dressed as a Rebekah at the Well, pre- 
 sided over the liquid, which she ladled out into 
 glasses. Presently she called to Derrick Graf ton 
 that the lemonade seemed to be disappearing very 
 rapidly and unaccountably. He and I both went up 
 and made an examination, which proved that some
 
 84 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 one had taken the stopper from the bung-hole be- 
 neath, permitting the lemonade to flow away in a 
 silent stream. As we were remedying the trouble, 
 we heard a groan from some bushes near by. I in- 
 vestigated, and found Jemmy Barstow fairly doubled 
 up and writhing in the agonies of colic. The mys- 
 tery explained itself. Poor Jemmy did suffer hor- 
 ribly, but we could not help shouting over his 
 torments. Such swift retribution was too ridiculous 
 for anything." 
 
 Probably Robert suspected that Natalie had rel'ated 
 the incident with the intention of diverting his 
 attention from the main subject, but he was in the 
 humor for teasing, and would not spare the girl. 
 
 " Very funny," he said, as the general amusement 
 subsided. "But how about this later affair with 
 Graf ton ? What was the casus belli in this case ? " 
 
 Natalie looked reproachfully at him. 
 
 "Robert, you might leave me alone, I think. I 
 don't believe my quarrels can be very interesting 
 matters to Dr. Lamar." 
 
 Her brother's face assumed a sudden gravity. 
 
 "Enough, my dear; you shall not tell us. You 
 evidently feel yourself to have been in the wrong in 
 this affair, and it certainly would be brutal to force 
 you to show yourself in an unfavorable light before a 
 guest. Say no more, my child."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 85 
 
 Of course he gained his point. His reply had been 
 well calculated to prolong his amusement. Natalie's 
 pride sprang at once into arms. 
 
 " You know it is not that, Robert, but well, I 
 will tell you in order to convince you how absurd 
 Derrick is. The other evening there was to be a lec- 
 ture in the hall in the village. It had been well 
 advertised, and ever so many of the nicest people 
 were going. I asked Derrick to take me, and he 
 refused flatly. Now, what do you think of that ? " 
 
 There was triumph in her tone. She felt that she 
 had scored a decided point against her adversary ; 
 and Lamar, looking at her brilliant, animated face, 
 thought that a young man loving her, as this man 
 probably did, must have been moved by weighty 
 reasons to refuse her petition. He was curious to 
 discover what the cogent cause had been. 
 
 " And pray, Miss Natalie," he asked gravely, " if it 
 be not an impertinent question, what reason did Mr. 
 Grafton assign for such singular conduct ? " 
 
 The girl turned her glance fully upon him as she 
 replied, 
 
 "He said the lecturer was an agnostic, and that his 
 views upon any subject could not but be what 
 were his words ? oh ' pernicious and schismatic.' 
 So narrow ! As if I were weak enough to allow my
 
 86 DOCTOR LAM AIL 
 
 faith in the dear Lord to be shaken by anything a 
 wretched infidel might say." 
 
 Lamar started, and a hot flush dyed Ids face as he 
 met Natalie's indignant glance. The expression 
 " wretched infidel " as uttered by her seemed to him 
 a most withering term of reproach. For the first 
 time in his life the thought assailed him that his 
 breadth of view was a thing to be ashamed of, and 
 he felt an earnest desire that his rationalistic con- 
 victions should never be made known in this 
 household. 
 
 He made no response to Natalie's words, but 
 Robert, appreciating the uncomfortable position of 
 his guest, though secretly amused, courteously has- 
 tened to change the subject, which he succeeded in 
 doing, not, however, until the rector had remarked in 
 warm tones of approval, 
 
 " And Derrick was quite right, little one. He is a 
 good lad and safe to be trusted with the care of an 
 innocent little maiden ; hey, Rhea ? " 
 
 It was out in the quaint, old garden, a little later, 
 that a topic was introduced which gave Lamar an 
 opportunity of satisfying himself upon a point which 
 had hitherto somewhat perplexed him ; namely, 
 whether Robert Wyndham's affections were in any 
 way engaged, or whether, as was evident from his
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 87 
 
 hearty, jovial carelessness of manner, he were really 
 fancy free. 
 
 Natalie had been chatting volubly (she was rather 
 apt to monopolize the conversation when permitted) 
 concerning her morning's visit at the Dnnstanes' 
 when, of a sudden, she launched an announcement 
 that made the color fade from Robert's ruddy face in 
 a manner that spoke volumes to an observant spec- 
 tator. 
 
 " You won't see Eleanor for some time, Robert, 
 unless you happen up to London. She's gone up for 
 the rest of the season to stay with the Mansfields. 
 Georgie told me to-day that Lord Parker has offered 
 himself to her, and she is considering the matter." 
 
 There was unmistakable agitation in Wyndham's 
 manner as he turned to his older sister. 
 
 " Have you heard anything of this, Rhea ? " he 
 asked gravely. "Do you really believe Eleanor 
 Dunstane would marry that popinjay ? " 
 
 Rhea looked at Natalie reproachfully. 
 
 " What a chatterer you are, little one ! " she said, 
 shaking her head ; then to Robert, " I really do not 
 know, dear, though I am almost afraid of it. There 
 has been a good deal of family influence brought to 
 bear on poor Eleanor, I fancy. The Dunstanes are a 
 large family, you know, and Eleanor's aunt, Mrs.
 
 88 DOCTOR LAM AR. 
 
 Mansfield, has become a little angry, I imagine, at 
 her persistent refusal of her many good opportunities. 
 I should scarcely think Eleanor would go up to Lon- 
 don now, when she is sure to be thrown in Lord 
 Parker's way, unless she means to accept him." 
 
 " I am so sorry Dr. Lamar will not see her," Nata- 
 lie exclaimed. " She is our beauty, you must know, 
 Dr. Lamar," she went on explanatorily ; " and a tre- 
 mendous belle in London. She has had any quantity 
 'of offers, but has refused them all. The Dunstanes 
 are our dearest friends, and Robert must take you 
 over to call upon them." 
 
 "Even with the grand attraction absent?" 
 
 " Oh, yes ! It is too bad ; still, you must see what 
 a charming family they are." 
 
 After a little more desultory conversation the even- 
 ing drew to a close. The household were assembled 
 in the rector's study for evening prayers, and, as 
 Lamar noted the loving reverence with which the 
 simple devotions were performed, he felt a pang of 
 regret that so beautiful a faith had not a surer foun- 
 dation ; and while refraining from joining in a wor- 
 ship which he felt an idle one, he yet bowed his head 
 in respect to a belief which held so strong a place in 
 the hearts of those who to-day had welcomed him as 
 one of their own.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAIi. 89 
 
 As, later, he lay waiting for sleep to settle down 
 upon his eyelids, the thought of the discovery he 
 had that evening made, anent Kobert Wyndham, 
 recurred to his mind and gave him food for reflection. 
 The idea of his friend's possible unhappiness sad- 
 dened him. It seemed to him too bad that so good a 
 fellow as Wyndham his somewhat narrow convic- 
 tions excepted should be brought to suffer such 
 pain as the loss of the woman he loved would entail. 
 What effect, he wondered, would suffering and disap- 
 pointment have upon his friend's faith in the wisdom 
 of a personal and beneficent God ? Would he meekly 
 bow his head to this decree, or would his spirit revolt 
 against the burden laid upon it ? 
 
 He knew Wyndham's character to be not very 
 strong, though obstinately tenacious, and he feared 
 the result of disaster to a passion which, as was evi- 
 dent from his late exhibition of feeling, was a deep 
 one. 
 
 From this Lam ar fell to speculating upon the uni- 
 versal law of suffering, and wondered how Christians 
 reconciled it with their conception of a merciful 
 Creator. Mental suffering he set aside, believing by 
 reason of his practical nature and strong will that it 
 was often the result of physical causes and capable 
 of being subdued by an effort of determination. But
 
 90 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 how to harmonize the existence of a tender and all- 
 powerful Father with the pain and anguish of body 
 which it was his mission in life to relieve, he knew 
 not. 
 
 He, materialist that he was, could find it perfectly 
 comprehensible that a violation of the fixed and unal- 
 terable laws of nature should entail consequences 
 even upon the third and fourth generation of those 
 who sinned; but how believers in an omnipotent 
 Deity reconciled the suffering which was permitted 
 to fall without stint upon His most obedient and 
 loving children, with the promise of mercy and 
 clemency assured to those who put their trust in Him, 
 Lamar was at a loss to understand. 
 
 In his extensive labors among suffering humanity 
 he had failed to observe a single instance of the 
 efficacy of prayer in material benefit. He had 
 watched the germs of mortality increase as rapidly 
 in one whose whole soul was her God's, as in another 
 whose career had been one long tissue of crime and 
 infidelity. He had heard prayers, entreaty, supplica- 
 tion upraised from aching hearts to their beloved 
 object of worship, but he had invariably seen faith 
 violated, trust betrayed, and promises unfulfilled as 
 far as his finite judgment could discern. 
 
 It might be, as preachers averred, that spiritual
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 91 
 
 gifts were bestowed upon the soul in return ; but 
 those, as he well knew, were not what the petitioners 
 desired. To give a hungry beggar a recipe for mak- 
 ing bread is not to comply with his request for food, 
 neither is an increase of spirituality a direct answer 
 to a passionate appeal for prolonged life. 
 
 Lamar pulled himself up short in his heretical 
 ruminations as a little phrase recurred to his mind. 
 He seemed still to hear the indignant throb in the 
 sweet young voice, and to meet again the scornful 
 glance in the dark, beautiful eyes of the speaker as 
 the words "a wretched infidel" vibrated harshly 
 throughout his consciousness. 
 
 Yes, that was what he was, certainly an infidel. 
 And, from Natalie Wyndham's point of view, neces- 
 sarily wretched. He was a proud man, and had 
 never been wont to regard himself in the light of an 
 object for scorn and pity. It was intolerable to him 
 that a simple child, a mere chit of a girl, should be 
 allowed to consider herself his moral superior. 
 
 But what a pretty chit this was. How deep and 
 glowing was the glance of her blue eyes ! How 
 sweet and joyous her laugh ! How tender her man- 
 ner to those she loved ! How And so Lamar at 
 last fell asleep, reflecting upon the charms of the one 
 annoyance in the Ford ham household.
 
 92 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 THE first week of Lamar's visit at Fordham passed 
 by swiftly and uneventfully. It was astonishing how 
 immediately he fell into the routine of life at the 
 rectory, and equally surprising how much he liked it. 
 No greater contrast to his busy, active New York life 
 could have been presented than this idly pleasant 
 existence. 
 
 Natalie was performing her vow very faithfully, 
 and, if the truth must be told, rather enjoying her 
 mission. She had discovered that two of her pas- 
 sions were shared by Lamar, although he had had far 
 less time than she to indulge either. Her music and 
 flowers were her greatest pleasures in life, and 
 Lamar's fondness for the former found very pleasant 
 gratification as he lay at ease on one of the broad 
 lounges in the sitting-room, and listened to her low, 
 sweet contralto ; while every day he felt more recon- 
 ciled to the fact that she was young and joyous of 
 spirit, as he felt her gayety react upon his own graver 
 temperament. 
 
 They had all grown fond of him at the rectory.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 93 
 
 Mr. Wyndham admired his wide cultivation and 
 catholic views upon all the subjects that came under 
 discussion. The rector rarely "talked shop," and 
 therefore it was easy for Lamar to fall in with 
 Robert's desire that he should not introduce his scep- 
 tical views at Fordham a desire that found a ready 
 echo in his own breast. 
 
 It was exceedingly agreeable to the rector to have 
 this fresh, new element brought into his somewhat 
 monotonous life, and it is more than probable that if 
 now, when he had grown to depend upon his guest's 
 society, a disclosure of the latter's agnostical views 
 had been made to him, the easy-going old man, with 
 his rather lax tolerance in such matters, would not 
 merely have sighed at his guest's want of faith, and 
 have contented himself with gently endeavoring to 
 lead him into his own way of thinking. 
 
 A similar revelation ante-dating Lamar's arrival 
 would very possibly have resulted in his non-admis- 
 sion within the rectory precincts, for, liberal as the 
 old man was, it is doubtful if voluntarily he would 
 have sought the companionship of a heretic for either 
 his daughters or himself. 
 
 Rhea had become profoundly interested in her 
 guest. Lamar possessed a charming manner toward 
 women, a blending of grave courtesy and deference
 
 94 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 which won them to him. Age or appearance made 
 little difference in his treatment of the sex, although 
 perhaps there was a slight increase of warmth and 
 attention in his demeanor toward those whose balance 
 was on the wrong side. He had been particularly 
 drawn toward Rebecca Wyndham, possibly on account 
 of a slight resemblance in tone and manner between 
 her and Robert. 
 
 Their common ministration among the sick fur- 
 nished them with a congenial footing of intercourse, 
 and Lamar showed a cordial sympathy and interest 
 in her work among the Fordham poor that pleased 
 her greatly. She was not used to receiving much 
 notice from men, and it had come within her expe- 
 rience to be rather slighted by the other sex. A love- 
 affair was something as strange to her personal 
 cognition as a cyclone ; therefore the gentle disturb- 
 ance that was beginning to agitate her equable nature 
 conveyed no hint to her of the possible tempest 
 it might arouse. 
 
 It was a new thing to her to have a man volun- 
 tarily seek her society as Lamar unquestionably did, 
 having much spare time on his hands, and enjoying 
 the atmosphere of repose that surrounded her. He 
 did not quickly become accustomed to contact with 
 Natalie's invigorating personality, and found it some- 
 times almost too bracing.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 95 
 
 Yet the house seemed terribly vacant when the 
 girl was absent. He came to a realization of this 
 fact one morning after Natalie had been spending the 
 night away from home. Some revelry had been in 
 contemplation the previous day at the Dunstanes', 
 and Natalie had gone over to it with the intention of 
 staying over night. Dinner had passed off well 
 enough in her absence, owing to an earnest discussion 
 of the Australian Ballot system, which was a matter 
 of considerable interest to Lamar, who spent some 
 time in demonstrating to the rector its advantages 
 over the national system. A cigar after the meal 
 served to beguile half an hour : but then came a 
 hiatus in the evening which was hard to bridge 
 over. It was the hour when Xatalie usually sat 
 at the little piano, ( and strummed soft accompani- 
 ments to unambitious but very sweet and pleasing 
 ballads. 
 
 Lamar went up to bed early, feeling a little ennuye 
 and aggrieved. This was the first dull evening he 
 had spent at Fordham, and yet it was the only one 
 that had been undisturbed by the unwelcome element 
 that he had at first deprecated. 
 
 The next morning he was decidedly out of sorts. 
 In the first place, he had grown accustomed to a 
 matutinal greeting called up to him in a fresh, bright
 
 96 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 young voice from the garden below, and this he 
 missed ; then there was no fragrant boutonniere lying 
 beside his plate, though Rhea, noticing this omission, 
 did her best to supply it by bringing him a tuberose 
 whose heavy perfume he loathed, and offering it 
 somewhat awkwardly, while a red tinge suffused her 
 skin, rendering it a trifle more unlovely than usual. 
 To cap the climax, Robert went up to London for the 
 day, after suggesting that perhaps Lamar might like 
 to drive over to Melbury for Natalie in the course of 
 the afternoon. 
 
 Lamar had thought that he should not care to avail 
 himself of this privilege, but the morning dragged so 
 heavily that in self-defence he was glad to set off 
 after lunch, and create a diversion by an expedition 
 after the recreant. 
 
 " You think you will not need Barker ? " Miss 
 Wyndham asked. " Can you remember the road ? " 
 
 " Well enough, I think, thank you," he replied, 
 " having been there so recently." Robert had driven 
 him over to call a couple of days before. " At all 
 events, there are guide-posts, and I am not above 
 asking my way." 
 
 The village was a long, straggling affair, possessing 
 no special charm or attractiveness to strange eyes, 
 and Lamar was not regretful when he turned off into
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 97 
 
 the less-frequented country road. Jenny was no 
 great roadster, and Lamar allowed her to take her 
 own pace, which proved to be a moderate jog-trot. 
 
 As he struck into the Melbury cross-road he 
 descried two figures advancing toward him, one of 
 which possessed a familiarity of aspect that caused a 
 sudden light to flash into his gray eyes as he involun- 
 tarily clucked to Jenny a warning to mend her pace 
 a little. 
 
 Natalie, for his suspicion became confirmed with 
 decreased distance, was occupied in an apparently 
 momentous and absorbing discussion with an exceed- 
 ingly good-looking young man in clerical garb, whom 
 Lamar at once concluded to be none other than 
 Derrick Grafton. She looked wonderfully pretty in 
 a clear blue cotton gown set off with many rows of 
 white braid, a white straw sailor hat with some soft, 
 cloudy tissue swathed about it, and a great bunch of 
 bachelor's buttons in her belt. Her face was ani- 
 mated almost to excitement, and in the interest of 
 her subject she quite failed to notice the approach 
 of the familiar dog-cart. 
 
 Lamar had nearly passed her, indeed, before she 
 turned her eyes from her companion's face, and 
 greeted his appearance with a little exclamation 
 of surprise. And it was with a decided feel-
 
 98 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 ing of pique that he drew up in answer to her 
 greeting. 
 
 " You were going over for me ! " she exclaimed. 
 " Too bad ; but I felt just in the humor for a long 
 walk, and Mr. Graf ton Derrick, this is Robert's 
 friend, Dr. Lamar aided and abetted my desire to 
 the extent of offering himself as my escort. As long 
 as I have met you, I think I'll ride the rest of the 
 way. You'll excuse me, Derrick ? " 
 
 She did not wait for the young man to reply, but 
 placed one foot on the step of the cart, and sprang 
 up without assistance, bestowing a rather cavalier 
 nod of dismissal upon Grafton when she was fairly 
 seated. 
 
 Lamar was surprised to discover that the careless 
 nod was a decided balm to his feelings, and felt a 
 very uncharitable sense of triumph as he signalled 
 Jenny to go on, leaving the abandoned young curate 
 to digest his disappointment and discomfiture as best 
 he could. Lamar turned to the girl with a smile in 
 his eyes, as they drove off, and remarked, 
 
 " It strikes me, Miss Natalie, not that I have 
 anything to complain of, his loss being very decidedly 
 my gain, but it does really appear to me that you 
 abandoned that young man rather unceremoniously, 
 just now."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 99 
 
 A little flush of pleasure at the parenthetic com- 
 pliment tinted the girl's cheeks as she replied, 
 
 " Yes ; I grant that I did. But to tell you the 
 truth, Dr. Lamar, we were on the verge of another 
 ferocious quarrel, and, as we had just shaken hands 
 over one bloody chasm, I preferred to run away that 
 I might ' live to fight another day.' " 
 
 " What an exceedingly eruptive young man the 
 Rev. Derrick must be ! " Lamar remarked visibly 
 amused. "If it is not an impertinent question, may 
 I ask if he was again seeking to impress you with 
 the desirability of becoming the fortunate sharer of 
 his destiny ?" 
 
 The flush deepened. 
 
 " No, no," she returned quickly. " What false 
 impressions Robert has given you, Dr. Lamar! It 
 was nothing of the sort. We were merely occupied 
 with a revival of our former difference. Derrick was 
 trying to explain his conduct, and prove to me that 
 he was right in refusing to permit me to become con- 
 taminated, as he expressed it, by listening to the 
 views of an agnostic. By the way, Dr. Lamar, what 
 is an agnostic ? My idea of the term is an exceed- 
 ingly vague one." 
 
 " Your idea can be no vaguer than the term itself, 
 Miss Natalie," Lamar replied, shrinking somewhat
 
 100 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 from the subject, as if fearful of disturbing, by even 
 a breath, the peaceful tranquillity of her mind. 
 
 " But you must be able to give me a better notion 
 of it than I have, and without the prejudice that 
 Derrick brings to bear upon the subject. To hear 
 him talk one would think that an agnostic was a 
 human pestilence stalking through the land, seeking 
 whom it might devour. He shudders when he speaks 
 of one, and I verily believe he hates them as old 
 Patty in the village hates men. She burns a rag in 
 the house after any male has entered it, and I would 
 not wonder if Derrick had taken similar measures to 
 purify the village hall." 
 
 She burst into a merry laugh, and Lamar sought 
 to change the unwelcome subject. 
 
 "What an age you have been away, Miss Natalie! 
 Did yon have what in America we call a ' good 
 time ' ? " 
 
 " AVhy, yes, of course; I always do. But lam 
 afraid you are trying to flatter me in calling my 
 absence a long one. You know I only went yester- 
 day." 
 
 "No, really! Only one night! it has seemed a 
 week to me ! No music, no laughter, no flowers ! 
 You must not do it again during my visit, else I 
 shall be really homesick. I am your guest, remem-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 101 
 
 ber, and have a prior claim upon you. These Dun- 
 stanes can have you any time." 
 
 Natalie smiled with pleasure ; it was always a 
 delight to her to be missed. But the personal 
 nature of the present topic was a little embarrass- 
 ing, so she returned to the former one. 
 
 " You are very kind to make me feel so comfort- 
 able," she said. "I am sorry that you have been 
 dull, and yet it is always gratifying to be missed. 
 But, Dr. Lamar, I am really desirous of having you 
 define an agnostic ; will you not humor me ? " 
 
 "Why, Miss Natalie," he replied evasively, a 
 sudden recollection of a haunting phrase occurring 
 to him, " you have yourself defined an agnostic as a 
 1 wretched infidel ' is not the definition sufficiently 
 comprehensive ? " 
 
 There was a tinge of bitterness in his tone, for 
 although the term infidel exactly expressed his own 
 mental status, the obnoxious phrase had rankled in 
 his mind ever since the girl had uttered it. 
 
 Natalie knit her white brow in perplexity. 
 
 "Well, you see, Dr. Lamar," she confessed, "I 
 rather spoke for effect the other night. 'Wretched 
 infidel' seemed rather a fine phrase, and so I used it. 
 But really and truly I don't know just what an 
 agnostic believes or disbelieves."
 
 102 DOCTOR LAMAS. 
 
 Lamar waited a few moments before replying, 
 during which lie flecked a fly off Jenny, whose jog- 
 trot had degenerated into a mere walk, and pondered 
 his answer. Further avoidance of the subject might 
 arouse Natalie's suspicious of himself, a result 
 which he was loath to effect, for already the girl's 
 good opinion was of value to him. He was too 
 honest to deny his convictions if taxed with them, 
 but he was also too fearful of doing himself injury 
 in Natalie's sight to voluntarily confess his scepti- 
 cism. 
 
 Therefore he concluded to take the bull by the 
 horns and present, incognito, his own views esti- 
 mated as justly as possible. 
 
 They had turned into a narrow by-road whose 
 hedgerows were sweet with pink and white bloom. 
 The sun had withdrawn under a fleecy cloud, and a 
 shadow of earnestness lay athwart the faces of both 
 the occupants of the dog-cart. Lamar was a little 
 lost in contemplation of his subject, and was looking 
 straight ahead over Jenny's ears, with an absent 
 expression in his gray eyes ; while the spirit of 
 humor had quite died out of Natalie's face and a 
 premonition of the forthcoming revelation seemed to 
 dwell in the glance with which she was regarding her 
 companion.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 103 
 
 " Miss Natalie," Lamar began at last, " I am going 
 to describe to you an agnostic of my acquaintance, 
 a man whom I know to be as sincere and honest in 
 his convictions nay, the word is a misnomer his 
 opinions, I will say, as either your father or the 
 Rev. Derrick Grafton himself. This man confesses 
 himself an agnostic merely because he is honest. 
 Having no proof of a hereafter, or even of a 
 God, he cannot accept as truth the sentimental 
 theories and superstitious prejudices of other men 
 no more enlightened, no wiser, and perhaps not one- 
 tenth as well instructed as himself. He is a man 
 who brought a fresh, impartial mind to deal with 
 the subject, who contented himself with nothing 
 short of absolute knowledge ; who believes faith 
 to be an atmosphere of weak and cowardly minds, 
 either too incompetent or too fearful to grapple with 
 the old ghostly traditions and force them into the 
 pure, strong light of reason, in order that the intel- 
 lect may prove them to be what they are: mere 
 unsubstantial figments of rude, uncultured brains. 
 Think of the situation. The credulous minds of a 
 handful of rough fishermen prescribe a system of 
 belief whose foundatio'n stones are a tissue of mir- 
 acles, which, if related as legends, would be regarded 
 as the wildest sort of fairy tales by the youngest
 
 104 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 children of the nineteenth century. Think of the 
 substantiation of these miracles resting upon no 
 better theory than that of the inspiration of the 
 writings which detailed them. Respect if you can 
 a God, the God of the Old Testament, who is held to 
 be that of the New under a changed dispensation 
 and novel and original method of procedure ; a God 
 whose influence over the minds of his creatures was 
 so insufficient that, in order to force them to respect 
 His laws, He Himself set them the example of 
 transgressing them by resorting to a miraculous 
 system of terrorization. Imagine a mighty Divinity, 
 intellectual enough to have conceived existence, and 
 powerful enough to have executed this wondrous 
 scheme of creation, stooping to bend the absurd 
 will of His puppets by a series of necromantic 
 effects, as belittling to His dignity as they were 
 inefficient to His purpose. Is it not ridiculous, un- 
 reasonable, irrational ? What better proof of the 
 existence of a God is the attestation of a lot of 
 ignorant old sinners, than is the testimony of the 
 ancient and cultured Greeks to the power and attri- 
 butes of the mythological deities ? Why should not 
 we accept the fables of mythology as truth ? Simply 
 because knowledge has awakened us to a recognition 
 of their absurdity. Is not the increasing agnosticism
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 105 
 
 of this age a portent in the sky to warn us that we 
 have too long allowed the web of superstition to 
 wrap our reason in its meshes, and that a universal 
 awakening is at hand ? " 
 
 Lamar had quite forgotten himself and his listener 
 in interest in his subject. He had warmed to his 
 theme, and had become entirely oblivious of his pur- 
 pose of shielding himself behind a false personality. 
 Now, as he came to a pause, recollecting Natalie and 
 provoked at his own indiscretion, he turned and 
 looked at her. He was startled by the effect his 
 words had produced. 
 
 She had shrunk a little from him, and her face had 
 blanched to a deadly pallor, while a look of horror 
 filled her dark eyes, depriving them very thoroughly 
 of their natural expression. 
 
 " And this " she almost gasped, " this horrible 
 blasphemy is agnosticism ? " 
 
 " It is," he assented, feeling that he had received a 
 condemnation, and cursing himself for a senseless 
 idiot in having forgotten the nature of his audience. 
 
 " Then no wonder Derrick tried to shield me from 
 it ! And this man, this unhappy, wretched creature 
 who holds these views, is a friend of yours ? " 
 
 Lamar bowed. 
 
 "My closest friend," he assented gravely, for now
 
 106 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 a spirit of recklessness had taken possession of him, 
 her evident horror and disgust having aroused his 
 combativeness. Then there came a pause which the 
 girl finally broke, as a thought occurred to her. 
 
 "Dr. Lamar," she said with deep feeling, "you 
 know this man intimately ; tell me, has any great 
 sorrow ever come to him ? Has he ever lost one he 
 loved ? " 
 
 Lamar considered a moment, for he saw that as 
 yet she failed to associate him with the object of 
 her horror. Should he allow her to continue in 
 ignorance by creating false circumstances and con- 
 ditions of life for his supposed friend, or, lest future 
 revelation should discover the deception practised 
 upon her, should he permit his own identity to 
 escape now ? There was a profound love of frank- 
 ness and detestation of double-dealing in his nature, 
 and he felt that now that he had involved himself in 
 a half confession he must bear the consequences of 
 his folly and allow the fact of his agnosticism to 
 transpire. 
 
 "Yes," he replied after a moment; "he has lost his 
 wife." 
 
 " And her death was a very great grief to him ? " 
 
 " Yes." 
 
 " And he never expects to meet her again ? "
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 107 
 
 Naturally not." 
 
 " Oh, how terrible ! how terrible ! " she cried, 
 turning to him, her sweet face working with agita- 
 tion, and her eyes filled with hot tears of sympathy. 
 Something in his look smote her with sudden con- 
 viction. Leaning forward, as if she would force the 
 truth from his eyes, she raised her hand and impul- 
 sively grasped his arm. 
 
 " Dr. Lamar," she burst forth, " you are the man ! 
 Great Heaven ! how I pity you ! " 
 
 After that a silence fell between them ; a silence 
 which was only broken now and then by a soft little 
 shuddering breath from Natalie. All the light and 
 beauty of the sweet June day seemed to Lamar to 
 have disappeared, and he felt that he would willingly 
 sacrifice a part of his life to be able to recall his ad- 
 mission as he saw the girl involuntarily shrink from 
 him as from one tainted with some loathsome disease. 
 
 There was scarcely a word exchanged between 
 them during the rest of the drive. Lamar made two 
 or three desultory attempts to start a fresh subject of 
 conversation, but they proved wholly abortive, and 
 he finally abandoned the effort, and was obliged to 
 content himself with his own thoughts which, 
 being of a self-denunciatory character, were scarcely 
 agreeable entertainment.
 
 108 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 It was almost impossible for him to realize what a 
 blow his revelation had been to Natalie Wyndham. 
 Born arid reared in an atmosphere of the purest 
 religious conservatism, carefully shielded and pro- 
 tected from the tempestuous winds of doubt and 
 scepticism, atheism was to her a word synonymous 
 only with heathenism ; and the idea that a man, who 
 had received the benefits of civilization, could ques- 
 tion the existence of a Supreme Kuler, of that God 
 for whom her own love and reverence were as invol- 
 untary and natural as the breath she drew ; to have 
 a sudden realization thrust upon her that she had 
 been familiarly consorting with such, recognizing 
 him as a friend, and admiring him as a sort of 
 superior being, was a shock of such an intense nature 
 that it quite absorbed all her faculties, to the utter 
 exclusion of the recollection that her silence created 
 an extremely awkward position for her companion. 
 
 As they turned into the rectory grounds Lamar 
 became desperate. He turned to the girl with an 
 expression of real anxiety on his face. " Miss 
 Natalie," he said, "I feel that my admission lias 
 compromised me seriously in your sight. I have 
 heretofore rather gloried in my freedom of thought ; 
 this afternoon I have for the first time experienced a 
 regret that my views were so advanced. Your evi-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 109 
 
 dent shrinking from me has caused me sincere grief 
 and pain. I trust that our pleasant intercourse is 
 not to suffer from my foolish confession." 
 
 The girl looked off over the fair landscape with its 
 smiling aspect of peace and tranquillity, and the 
 beauty of the scene, the singing of the birds, the 
 far-stretching canopy of the heavens, the sight of 
 her own home, a loving reminder of the favors she 
 had received from a generous Providence ; all these 
 proofs of an all-wise and ever-bounteous Creator 
 appealed with a sudden and novel force to her 
 soul. 
 
 On the one side was the God, who had with His 
 infinite, all-comprehending love created with lavish 
 hand a glorious heritage of which she had received 
 so large a share ; on the other stood one of His 
 creatures questioning His existence and denying the 
 precious testimony of His own word. Horror of 
 Lamar's confession still held possession of her mind, 
 and she felt her love and reverence for her Heavenly 
 Father wounded and outraged by his speech. Yet 
 the divine pity that lurks in every true woman's 
 heart, and which had already caused her to regard 
 Lamar a little tenderly, withheld her now from pro- 
 nouncing utter condemnation upon him. It was two 
 or three minutes before she could decide upon a
 
 110 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 reply, and even then it was of a doubtful and unsatis- 
 factory nature. 
 
 " I do not know,-'' she faltered at last ; " I cannot 
 say no, I do not know." 
 
 "But promise me," Lauiar urged, unable to force 
 her eyes to meet his, "promise me that you will not 
 entirely cast me out of your favor. Remember that 
 Robert, your brother and a minister of your God, 
 remember that he tolerates me. He has interested 
 himself in my salvation. I am even now faithfully 
 studying books of his choosing. If he can regard 
 me without abhorrence and see a chance for conver- 
 sion in my case, cannot you also afford to treat me a 
 little leniently out of consideration for the grand 
 result you may accomplish ? In this case, Miss 
 Natalie, Ephraim is not joined to idols, and I assure 
 you I am only too willing to be convinced of the 
 truth of your belief." 
 
 He knew that he was talking the veriest nonsense, 
 and even while he spoke despised himself for stoop- 
 ing to reinstate himself by idle, meaningless phrases 
 in the girl's favor. Yet, the distress which her 
 sudden recoil had caused him urged him to use any 
 means to regain his former standing in her esteem. 
 
 She failed to notice his request by words, feeling 
 that she would not commit herself until she had had
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. Ill 
 
 time to properly consider the matter ; but as Lamar 
 helped her down from the cart, he held her hand a 
 brief moment to detain her, as he said, persuasively, 
 " Miss Natalie, you have not yet promised." 
 She shook her head sadly. "No," she replied; 
 "no, I cannot promise yet."
 
 112 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 MEANWHILE Robert had been having rather an 
 eventful day in London. Having despatched the 
 business that had taken him thither (which was inci- 
 dental to his profession and of no particular impor- 
 tance to our narrative), he found himself with a 
 couple of spare hours to dispose of before his return 
 train started. 
 
 A desire which was always sufficiently strong 
 within him, suddenly increased its potency until it 
 quite vanquished his scruples, and a moment later he 
 had called a hansom and was on his way to gratify 
 his longing to see Eleanor Dunstane. 
 
 It was about the afternoon tea hour, but the expec- 
 tation of meeting a lot of fashionable visitors at 
 Mrs. Mansfield's popular house did not weigh very 
 heavily against his yearning for a glimpse of a fair, 
 well-beloved face. 
 
 He could not remember the time when he had not 
 cared for her; and she had seemed to return his 
 attachment until the fact of her beauty and its 
 marketable value had dawned upon her aunt, indu-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAIt. 113 
 
 cing her to secure the girl's presence in her own 
 drawing-rooms, as much to advantage herself in 
 supplying her house with an added attraction, as to 
 give Eleanor an opportunity of making that coveted 
 alliance a brilliant match. 
 
 Brought up in the quiet and seclusion of Melbury, 
 where her father a gentleman with a moderate 
 fortune and its usual concomitant, a large family 
 possessed a small landed property, Eleanor Dunstane 
 had, somewhat naturally, been dazzled and fascinated 
 by her first glimpse of society. Her social success 
 had been at once assured by the attentions of a 
 young fellow who had unexpectedly come into pos- 
 session of a good title and sufficient wealth to 
 maintain it. 
 
 He was an undeniably good parti, besides being a 
 very sensible, unpretentious lad, and the eager and 
 open attempts made upon him by solicitous mammas 
 disgusted him to such an extent that he fell at once 
 into the trap of Mrs. Mansfield's undemonstrative and 
 apparently careless hospitality. Eleanor's beauty 
 and unconventionality did the rest. 
 
 Mrs. Mansfield had never forgiven her niece for 
 refusing him. Lord Ruxton, Lord Ruxton, Lord 
 Ruxton ! The name had been dinned into Eleanor's 
 ears ad nauseam, and so wearisome the subject
 
 114 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 finally became to her that, notwithstanding her 
 pleasure m the festivities with which a London 
 season teems, she was honestly glad when they drew 
 to a close and she could return to Melbury to escape 
 further repetition of the threadbare^topic. 
 
 She had returned home after her first season thor- 
 oughly unspoiled, and had taken up her country life 
 again as happily and contentedly as if she had never 
 left it. 
 
 Robert, who was then trying to curb his predilec- 
 tions for the ministry, and to content himself with his 
 position in the Foreign Office, had, during the season, 
 been a frequent visitor at Mrs. Mansfield's. There 
 had been no breach in the warm, cordial relations 
 between him and Eleanor until about the middle of 
 her second season, when he made known to her his 
 decision to follow his inclinations and study for 
 orders. 
 
 Everything she could say to dissuade him she said, 
 and employed every argument to win him from his 
 intention. When she found her power over him too 
 weak to overcome his fixed resolve, she took umbrage 
 and turned the cold shoulder on him. This attitude 
 never changed while he was preparing himself for 
 the Church, but the girl's whole nature appeared to 
 undergo a very radical alteration. She threw herself
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 115 
 
 into the dissipation of a society life with unremit- 
 ting ardor, and, while she permitted and even encour- 
 aged the most extreme devotion from men, showed 
 not the slightest hesitation in refusing them when, as 
 was very frequently the case, occasion offered. 
 
 The previous season a new aspirant for her favor 
 had entered the field : Henry Reginald Arthur, Vis- 
 count Parker, and heir to one of the oldest earldoms 
 in England. Need it be said that Mrs. Mansfield 
 accumulated all her reserve force in a final appeal to 
 Eleanor to make of his lordship a notable exception 
 in her list of unfortunate suitors ? 
 
 Lord Parker was a man of the ultra-fashionable 
 set, wliose mind was a tabula rasa, and whose ideas 
 never soared above the level of life a la mode. His 
 very excuse for being lay in the fact that it was "the 
 thing, you know; "and possibly Eleanor Dunstane's 
 chief point of attraction to him was the considera- 
 tion that she happened to be the fashion. 
 
 As for the girl herself, she treated his lordship 
 with an indifference bordering on contempt, which 
 was a novel and not altogether disagreeable experi- 
 ence to him. Her strong spirit dominated and fas- 
 cinated him. It added a new and piquant flavor to 
 his tame and monotonously conventional existence. 
 Her beauty had frequently allured him to the very
 
 116 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 brink of an avowal, but she had been successful in 
 escaping an actual offer from him up to the beginning 
 of the present season. 
 
 Early in June, however, and before Eleanor had 
 decided to go up to London, Lord Parker had made a 
 formal proposal to Mr. Dunstane for his daughter's 
 hand, and Rebecca Wyndham had been perfectly cor- 
 rect in her surmise that undue pressure had been 
 brought to bear upon the girl to persuade her to 
 accept so brilliant an offer. 
 
 In the first place, the Dunstane property was quite 
 inadequate to the demands upon it; every year the 
 family expenses increased, and the word mortgage 
 haunted Mr. Dunstane's sleeping and waking moments 
 like an evil phantom. The boys were reaching an 
 age when an underpaid tutor no longer sufficed for 
 their educational requirements, and college expenses 
 were an extra burden to be assumed. 
 
 Eleanor was regarded as the only available means 
 of salvation, and Mr. and Mrs. Dunstane took it very 
 hard that she was not willing to be made the family 
 scape-goat. Added to their evident disappointment 
 in her came the angry protest of her aunt, conjoined 
 to the threat that should Eleanor actually refuse his 
 lordship, and thus allow another brilliant opportunity 
 to escape her, she might at the same time understand
 
 DOCTOR LAMAS. 117 
 
 that the doors of Mrs. Mansfield's house would be 
 hereafter closed upon her, and that no more favors 
 from that direction would be forthcoming. 
 
 A more conciliatory postscript was appended to 
 the letter, begging Eleanor to seriously consider the 
 answer she was about to give Lord Parker, and 
 suggesting that before absolutely committing* herself, 
 she should temporize a bit, request a few weeks for 
 consideration, and that those weeks in case the 
 demand were granted should be spent by Eleanor 
 at Mrs. Mansfield's town house, in order that she 
 might enjoy the remaining gayeties of the season. 
 
 We have seen the result. Eleanor Dunstane had 
 followed her aunt's advice, scarcely knowing what she 
 meant to say to his lordship when her reprieve should 
 expire, and trusting in luck to interpose some ob- 
 stacle to her union with "the popinjay," as Robert 
 Wyndham had called him. 
 
 The ladies were at home, the butler informed 
 Wyndham, and were receiving. Accordingly, he was 
 ushered into the long, handsomely decorated apart- 
 ment, whence a low-toned murmur of well-bred 
 voices issued to the hall without. 
 
 The announcement of his name produced slight 
 impression on the several guests. Only one girl, a 
 sunny-haired, radiant creature, who was pouring tea
 
 118 DOCTOR LAMAK. 
 
 at a dainty table, clad in a loose, flowing tea-gown 
 of faintest blue half concealed by cascades of airy 
 lace, started and lost a few of the roses from her 
 cheeks, while the thread of her discourse snapped 
 abruptly off, and the cup she was filling rattled 
 noisily in its fragile saucer. 
 
 But Robert's tall, broad-shouldered figure was no 
 unfamiliar object to many of Mrs. Mansfield's guests, 
 though its sombre, clerical garb was a sufficient 
 change from the fashionable layman's dress in which 
 they had been wont to see him, to arouse some 
 commentary as, after pausing to salute his hostess, 
 he made his way, with a careless nod here and 
 there, through the room till he reached Eleanor's 
 tea-table. 
 
 A slender, dapper little man in the extreme of 
 fashionable afternoon dress was her sole companion 
 as Robert came up. He glanced at the approaching 
 figure through his glass, and then gave a little 
 affected shudder. 
 
 " A clergyman ! " he murmured, contracting his 
 small features into a grimace which he would have 
 denominated a moue. "A blackbird among larks! 
 Ugh ! it gives me the blues to look at him. What ! 
 Mon Dieu ! Yes, it is ; Miss Dunstane, it is Bob 
 Wyndham."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 119 
 
 Eleanor's delicate features had clouded at the little 
 man's tone and manner. 
 
 " Has it taken you so long to discover that, Lord 
 Parker?" she replied contemptuously. "Your sight 
 is surely very bad, else you would have made a 
 different comparison, I am sure. Either that of a 
 giant among pygmies, or of an eagle among butter- 
 flies." She looked at the modish little figure 
 scornfully. 
 
 His lordship laughed good-hum oredly. 
 
 " Well, perhaps," he said, with a Gallic shrug. 
 "However, in any case, uncongenial company for me; 
 so, with your leave, I'll say au revolt: Do, Wyndham ! 
 Glad to see you back. This evening at eight then, 
 Miss Dunstane ? A rivederci!" 
 
 He withdrew and left the two alone. Eleanor's 
 face had regained its color, and the hand she extended 
 to Robert was as calm and steady as if it had never 
 threatened destruction to Mrs. Mansfield's costly 
 porcelain, though had Robert's fingers chanced to fall 
 upon the delicate wrist its pulse might have betrayed 
 the agitation of the girl's heart. 
 
 " So you have come back, Bob ? " she said, in a 
 tone which to unaccustomed ears would have sounded 
 frank and natural, although Robert, who was a 
 connoisseur in the shades and inflections of her voice,
 
 120 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 detected that latent reserve which had characterized 
 it since he had showed himself disobedient to her 
 wishes. " I heard of your return through Georgie, 
 and that you had brought Dr. Lamar with you. How 
 pleasant for you to be together again ! " 
 
 " Yes, delightful," he returned absently ; and then 
 said no more, but stood gazing stupidly into her 
 beautiful face, all absorbed in its fairness, and think- 
 ing that he never before had quite appreciated how 
 lovely it was. 
 
 "He will be with you some time?" she went on, 
 making conversation with that facility which women 
 of the world acquire. " Did he come up with you 
 to-day ? " 
 
 " No ; yes, he will stay as long as he is contented. 
 He is worn out with his professional work, and needs 
 a rest. We talk of taking a little run over to 
 Heidelberg together for the sake of 'Auld lang syne.' " 
 
 " Charming ! And America ? Were you pleased 
 with what you saw of it ? Did you fall a prey to any 
 of its fair daughters ? " She smiled and asked the 
 question as if his reply, even should it be affirmative, 
 were a matter of the supremest indifference to her, 
 though all the while beneath her dainty gown her 
 heart was rebelling against the tax laid upon it, and 
 crying out against the violence she was doing it.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 121 
 
 Her flippancy revolted Robert. He knew she was 
 betraying her better nature, having been long ago 
 convinced, by the discernment born of his own great 
 love, that she cared for him above other men. Now, 
 lie looked sternly and reproachfully at her, with a 
 glance that sent a shiver through her inner conscious- 
 ness, so much disgust was mingled with it. 
 
 " No," he replied gravely. " I should not think it 
 was necessary either for you to ask, or for me to 
 reply to, that question. It has reminded me, however, 
 that I had a purpose in coming here to-day. Almost 
 the first gossip that greeted my arrival was a rumor 
 of your engagement to Lord Parker. Eleanor, I want 
 to know if it is so from your own lips. I would 
 believe it from no others, even though they were 
 those of your own father." 
 
 He held the girl's eyes in a straightforward, com- 
 pelling gaze which there was no escaping, and which 
 rendered equivocation impossible. A hot wave 
 crimsoned her face, and she was just about to stam- 
 mer forth a reply, when a diversion was created in 
 her favor. 
 
 Mrs. Mansfield had been receiving a rather distin- 
 guished personage, and, being somewhat apprehensive 
 of the dangerous tete-a-tete being indulged in by 
 Kobert and Eleanor, she sought to interrupt it by
 
 122 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 approaching, and claiming Eleanor's attention for a 
 few moments, avowing in excuse her desire to present 
 her to the lionne. 
 
 The girl gladly welcomed the interruption, and 
 murmured a word of apology to Robert for leaving 
 him. As she rose hastily and somewhat nervously, 
 her quick movement upset the frail little table, 
 beneath a leg of which a fold of her gown had 
 inadvertently lain. With a crash the tiny stand 
 toppled over, its contents falling in a broken, confused 
 heap of china and silverware to the ground. 
 
 This was by no means the worst feature of the 
 catastrophe, however. A hissing urn had been upon 
 the table, and this with its small alcohol lamp, in 
 which a live wick burned, found a resting-place upon 
 the filmy lace of Eleanor's gown. Before the startled 
 guests could fairly realize what had occurred, the 
 girl's skirts were ablaze, the flames finding satisfactory 
 food for their fiery appetite in the light texture of 
 the fabric. 
 
 She had unconsciously called Robert's name when 
 her danger first occurred to her, and before she had 
 time to cry out again the folds of his straight, ugly 
 soutane were wrapped close about her, while its 
 owner in his shirt sleeves, did fierce battle with the 
 flames that threatened to consume her.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 123 
 
 She was badly scorched and burned he could 
 see, as, after he had succeeded in extinguishing the 
 fire, she lay for a moment unconscious upon his 
 breast ; and his own hands and face, too, smarted and 
 stung from contact with the heat. 
 
 His tone was perhaps a little masterful as he 
 ordered Mrs. Mansfield, who was wringing her hands 
 in excitement and fright, to clear the rooms ; and as 
 the guests obediently departed, he demanded to be 
 shown the girl's chamber, as he gently and tenderly, 
 despite his own suffering, raised the poor scorched 
 form and bore it easily to its room, his superior 
 height and strength rendering him very excellent 
 service in the undertaking. 
 
 She came to, as he laid her on her bed, and gave a 
 little cry as she recognized his blistered face, then, as 
 a full realization of her escape came upon her, she 
 burst into an hysterical fit of weeping, so violent as 
 to alarm her aunt. 
 
 It was marvellous to see how gentle Eobert was 
 with her while awaiting the physician's coming. He 
 soothed and comforted her as tenderly as a mother 
 her child, feeling keenly the agony her tortured flesh 
 was undergoing, and, by the sheer force of his own 
 strong spirit, rendering her better able to endure her 
 agonizing sufferings.
 
 124 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 He waited below while the physician made his 
 examination, and interviewed him when he descended 
 from Eleanor's room, questioning him anxiously and 
 pertinently regarding her injuries. 
 
 " Very severe and painful," was the response. 
 " The whole right side is badly burned, and both hands 
 are terribly scorched. She must suffer intensely. I 
 have dressed the burns and administered a sedative. 
 I understand, sir, that she owes the preservation of 
 her beauty to you. You are to be congratulated upon 
 having rendered society such a service." 
 
 Robert smiled to himself at the unintentional irony 
 of the remark. He had rescued her beauty from the 
 flames at the risk of his own life, that society might 
 not be deprived of one of its fairest ornaments ; that 
 Lord Parker might not be brought to regret having 
 compromised himself by an offer for a wife whose 
 qualifications for the position had literally well-nigh 
 ended in smoke ! Almost he wished, as he was being 
 borne along in the train to Fordham, that he had per- 
 mitted the desecration of her lovely features, that 
 he might then have proved how small a considera- 
 tion, in his love for her, was her beauty ; how great 
 a difference existed between Lord Parker's vain wish 
 to enhance the brilliancy of his coronet by placing it 
 upon her brow, and his own love for herself alone,
 
 DOCTOR LAN All. 125 
 
 for her individual and spiritual being independent of 
 its extraneous advantages. 
 
 His appearance created alarm and agitation at the 
 rectory. His singed hair gave him a most singular 
 look, and his burned, smoke-stained soutane testified 
 at once to some unusual and difficult experience. 
 Ehea was the first to welcome him when he arrived, 
 and she stood aghast at his disordered appearance. 
 
 " What, what has happened ? " she cried, as she 
 took his hand in greeting. Her touch made him cry 
 out. 
 
 "Whew, Rhea! Don't touch my hands; I have 
 burned them pretty badly, I think. Get me a glass 
 of sherry, that's a good girl, and then I'll tell you. 
 Stay, where is Lamar ? " 
 
 " Wandering somewhere in the garden, I believe. 
 Natalie is not very well overtired, I fancy and 
 has gone to bed." 
 
 " Well, ask Lamar to come into the sitting-room, 
 will you, and bring the sherry there ? I am about 
 done up, I believe." 
 
 The next morning Natalie drove the trio, Robert, 
 Rhea, and their guest, to the station in time for the 
 ten-o'clock express to London. Robert had passed a 
 restless, uneasy night, and was impatient to satisfy 
 his anxiety regarding Eleanor's condition. Rhea had
 
 126 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 expressed her determination of offering her services 
 as nurse to Mrs. Mansfield, having little doubt but 
 that they would be exceedingly welcome to the busy 
 woman immersed in the whirl of social duties 
 especially as Mrs. Dunstane, as Rhea well knew, 
 would be unable to go to Eleanor's relief, owing to a 
 severe cold which had confined her to her bed for 
 some days past. 
 
 Being fully aware of Robert's high estimate of his 
 friend's professional ability, Rhea had suggested to 
 Lamar himself that it would be exceedingly kind of 
 him to accompany them to London, and reassure 
 Robert by a glance at the sufferer. Lamar willingly 
 acceded to the proposal. 
 
 Had not Eleanor Dunstane's accident been an all- 
 absorbing topic of interest at the breakfast-table that 
 morning, the marked change in Natalie's spirits 
 would not so easily have escaped the comment and 
 analyzation of her fond family ; but, as it was, nobody 
 except Lamar dreamed that the girl's unusual silence 
 and preoccupation were attributable to another cause 
 than that Avhich had cast a general gloom over the 
 rectory. 
 
 Lamar had heard no happy, careless lilting in the 
 garden that morning, nor could his most eager search 
 discover the customary boutonniere in its usual place
 
 DOCTOR LAMAK. 127 
 
 beside his fresh, immaculate napkin. This omission 
 had not proceeded from wanton forgetfulness on 
 Natalie's part. Her impulse had been to gather the 
 fragrant spray as usual, but she had been restrained 
 by a feeling that she had no right to pluck God's 
 most beautiful gift to man and offer it to one who 
 scorned the Divine donor. 
 
 So Lamar went off with his gray tweed coat undec- 
 orated, and with a sore, hurt feeling in his heart. 
 His discomfort was but enhanced by the reflection 
 that the strained relations existing between himself 
 and Natalie were wholly his own fault. 
 
 And Natalie ? Well, there was a decided choking 
 in her throat as the train whirled her three compan- 
 ions out of sight, and she turned from its contempla- 
 tion and started Jenny on the homeward route, 
 with a slightly aggrieved sensation as of one cruelly 
 deserted. 
 
 It is always so much easier for those who go than 
 for those who remain behind. Even if the grief of 
 parting be more intense in the one who departs, it is, 
 for a time at least, held in abeyance by the change 
 and novelty of travel. It was, therefore, with a 
 decided feeling of desertion and loneliness that 
 Natalie took her way back to the quiet rectory. 
 
 It was oppressively still there, and she tried every
 
 128 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 means known to her of enlivening its atmosphere a 
 little. She was in an hysterical condition of mind 
 born of serious thinking to her an unaccustomed 
 mental exercise. The conflict which had been going 
 on within her half the night had depressed her 
 greatly. She was a creature very dependent upon 
 sleep, and, being deprived of it, always created in her 
 a languor and listlessness difficult to combat. 
 
 She was undergoing a crisis in her life for which 
 no previous experience had furnished a precedent. 
 The Object of her life-long worship had been denied, 
 insulted, reviled in her very presence and by 
 whom ? By a man for whose opinions she had come 
 to feel a peculiar respect; whose personal qualifica- 
 tions strongly attracted her ; and whom, notwithstand- 
 ing his terrible atheism, she felt to be possessed of 
 far stronger and keener intellectual gifts than were 
 those with whom she had hitherto come in contact. 
 
 Heretofore she had passively accepted religion as 
 the natural atmosphere of her life, and had been con- 
 tent to receive her fathers teachings regarding things 
 divine as unquestioningly as she had submitted to his 
 dictation concerning things temporal. She had never 
 paused to consider whether his judgment might or 
 might not be fallible. She had been simply a care- 
 less, easy-going child, whose innocent mind was like
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 129 
 
 a calm, untroubled pool, reflecting the thoughts of 
 those who breathed upon its placid surface. Hitherto 
 its waters Jraxl been unruffled by any harsh wind of 
 doubt or perplexity. Sunshine alone had fallen upon 
 it, and no heavy cloud of thought had ever obscured 
 its peaceful transparency. 
 
 Of a sudden its tranquillity had been bestirred. A 
 new suggestion, a terrible supposition had for the 
 first time awakened within its depths a consciousness 
 of the fact that there were other minds, as well in- 
 structed, as capable and intelligent as those of her 
 little circle, who disputed the truth of the great 
 maxims she had been taught to believe fully estab- 
 lished. 
 
 A novel sensation, as of the sudden awakening of 
 her own dormant intellect, troubled her with the 
 conviction that hereafter she should no longer be sat- 
 isfied with the conclusions of others ; that her mind 
 must solve for itself the enigma which had just been 
 propounded to her. 
 
 Her feeling toward Lamar was a mixture of resent- 
 ment and attraction. While angry that he had con- 
 temned her faith and disturbed her peace of mind, 
 she was yet drawn to him by reason of her tender 
 pity for his unhappy position and by personal liking 
 and admiration.
 
 130 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 She wandered restlessly about the still, deserted 
 rooms, feeling that she needed some sort of a mental 
 stimulant to brace her up. To tell the tTTith, she felt 
 herself decidedly out of temper, and would have wel- 
 comed Derrick Grafton as a scapegoat for her ill- 
 humor. He not being to the fore, however, it occurred 
 to her that Catherine's temper usually furnished an 
 adversary ever ready for a conflict of words, and she 
 accordingly took her way kitchenwards. 
 
 But this morning even Catherine failed her. The 
 old woman was in excellent spirits, consequent upon 
 the knowledge that her duties, with the larger part 
 of the family absent, would be light. She was a little 
 touched, too, by the sight of Natalie's unwonted 
 pallor and heavy eyes, for she loved the girl with all 
 the devotion of which her crabbed spirit was capable, 
 having been nurse at one period of her service in the 
 rector's family. 
 
 " Indeed, but you do look a bit poorly this morn- 
 ing, Miss Natalie," she said, as the girl entered her 
 beautifully clean and neat kitchen. " Indeed, then, 
 Miss Eleanor may feel flattered that ye all think 
 that much of her, that her mishap should ha' thrown 
 ye all into such commotion. Here's Barker been 
 telling me a tale from the village, and I'm fair sorry 
 Miss Rhea isn't to home, for I know she'd manage 
 some way to settle the matter."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 131 
 
 "What is it, Catherine?" the girl asked with a 
 forced air of attention, for, although usually eager 
 and interested in the village gossip, she felt to-day 
 that her own affairs and perplexities were sufficient 
 food for her mind. 
 
 But as the old woman related her story, hot anger 
 and indignation began to throb in her pulses until, as 
 Catherine's somewhat prolix narrative came to a con- 
 clusion, she started to her feet with flushed face and 
 sparkling eyes, crying, 
 
 " It is shameful, outrageous, Catherine ! I shall 
 speak to papa this moment about it ! " and was out of 
 the room and in her father's study before Catherine 
 could remind her how rarely Rhea permitted the rec- 
 tor's tranquillity to be disturbed by parish troubles. 
 
 The rector was seated in his arm-chair which was 
 drawn up by the open window, looking the personifi- 
 cation of comfort, and placidly reading a recent 
 treatise on Tractarianism, the work of an old college 
 chum. As the door burst violently open and Natalie 
 rushed in like a young whirlwind, he laid down the 
 pamphlet and took off his spectacles with an indul- 
 gent smile at the intruder. 
 
 " How now, little one ? " he asked as he noted the 
 indignant animation on the flushed face. "Derrick 
 been here, or Barker's hens been in your garden
 
 132 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 again?" He held out his hand, but Natalie was too 
 excited to notice it. 
 
 " No, papa," she cried, " neither ; but I wish from 
 my heart that Derrick Graf ton were here. It would 
 relieve my mind to tell him my opinion of his con- 
 duct. Listen, papa. You know the Catherwoods in 
 the village ? They used to be your parishioners, but 
 when the new Dissenting Chapel was built they went 
 over to it, attracted by the singular eloquence of that 
 terrible man who preaches there. Derrick and Khea 
 tried to win them back and succeeded for a time ; but 
 finally they returned to the chapel. For a year they 
 have been vacillating between church and chapel, and 
 at last both Derrick and the Methodist minister 
 became disgusted and angry with them, and declared 
 they would have nothing more to do with them. A 
 week ago Lily Catherwood, that pretty girl who went 
 astray, came home to die. She was in a terrible 
 state of mind, Barker says, and implored her mother 
 to send for a clergyman to ease her conscience before 
 she died. Her mother sent for Derrick, who refused 
 to go, saying they were not his parishioners, and bid- 
 ding them send for the Methodist minister. This 
 Mrs. Catherwood did, but he also refused, directing 
 them, in his turn, to apply to Derrick. Between two 
 stools the poor girl fell to the ground. Oh, papa,
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 133 
 
 think of it ! That wretched, unhappy creature died 
 without a word of Diviue comfort; is it not too 
 dreadful ? " 
 
 She clasped her hands feelingly, and the warm 
 tears of tender pity filled her beautiful eyes. The 
 rector looked distressed. 
 
 " Dear, dear, dear ! " he murmured, shaking his 
 head sadly. "This is most unfortunate. But, my 
 dear, Derrick may have some extenuating circum- 
 stances to plead." 
 
 " Extenuating circumstances ! " she exclaimed with 
 contempt. " Could they exist in such a case ? But 
 wait a moment, papa, you have not yet heard the 
 worst. The girl died the day before yesterday, and 
 the poor mother was distracted between grief and 
 perplexity as to whom she should ask to read the 
 burial service. She finally sent her husband to Mel- 
 bury to ask Mr. Strange, the rector there, if he would 
 come over and perform the sad ceremony. He 
 refused on the ground of etiquette, and what do you 
 think the result was ? The poor dead girl was 
 packed on board a train and taken to the next county, 
 where she was at last decently buried, and where the 
 Catherwoods propose living hereafter. Oh, papa, 
 isn't it a hideous thing for Derrick to have done ? " 
 
 This time the rector was fairly aroused. He rose
 
 134 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 from his chair and moved toward the door, Natalie 
 following. 
 
 " Papa, where are you going ? " she asked. 
 
 She had seldom heard such angry tones from him 
 as those which now emphasized his reply. 
 
 " Where am I going, Natalie ? Why, to the vil- 
 lage, to be sure, to inquire into this business. If it 
 be as you say, Derrick shall have a piece of my mind 
 forthwith. What an outrage to have happened in a 
 Christian community ! " 
 
 He went out, and Natalie sank into his chair and 
 sat gazing out of the open window, her mind a tumult 
 of various emotions. Dominant among them was 
 disgust of Grafton. He, to call himself a minister 
 and disciple of Christ, and yet belittle the dignity of 
 his profession by allowing his jealous intolerance of 
 other sects to withhold him from the performance 
 of a most obvious duty ! Oh, it was shameful ! His 
 conduct was a disgrace to his cloth. 
 
 And then she became possessed of a fear lest 
 Lamar should hear of this incident. She felt keenly 
 how evidential it would appear to him of the immor- 
 ality of Christianity, and could imagine how intoler- 
 ant his broad mind would be of the petty limitations 
 which restricted Grafton. Lamar's recent attack 
 upon the faith to which she held, had left her spirit
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 135 
 
 in a sore and supersensitive condition, and at no 
 former time would this breach in Christian duty have 
 appeared to her so hideous and monstrous a thing as 
 it did now. 
 
 The study was very quiet ; the summer air was 
 warm, soft and caressing ; deep thought and un- 
 wonted agitation are most exhausting processes. 
 A little later a gaudy butterfly, sailing in through the 
 open casement, was surprised to find that the fra- 
 grance which he had mistaken for the breath of some 
 new and exquisite blossom came from the half-parted 
 lips of a sleeping girl.
 
 136 DOCTOR LAMAB. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE day was terribly long to Natalie. It seemed 
 that the hour when she was to drive to the station for 
 Eobert and Lamar would never come. The rector 
 had returned from the village, weary and sad. He 
 had proved Natalie's story to be true, although Derrick 
 sought to excuse himself on the ground that he had 
 supposed the minister had performed the required 
 services. Mr. Wyndham had reproved his curate as 
 severely as was possible to him, and had read him a 
 long homily upon his unchristian-like conduct. 
 
 It was always unpleasant to him to be forced to 
 admonish any one, and, as he recounted his conversa- 
 tion with Grafton to Natalie, while they sat at lunch, 
 she was troubled to see how pale and exhausted her 
 father looked. His gentle old heart was really 
 wounded by his young curate's action, and he spoke 
 of the unhappy Catherwoods in terms of the warmest 
 sympathy. 
 
 This furnished Natalie with an opportunity for 
 putting a question which had been perplexing her
 
 DOCTOR LAM AH. 137 
 
 ever since she had refused compliance with Lamar's 
 request for reconciliation. 
 
 "Papa," she began tentatively, "don't you pity 
 any one who does not belong to our church ? " 
 
 "I do, indeed, little one," the rector replied, mean- 
 ing what he said, thoroughly, for to him the Church 
 of England was the one safe anchorage of Christianity. 
 Any other creed or belief was treacherous and unstable 
 mooring, requiring a continual battling with waves of 
 doubt and argument. 
 
 "But you don't despise those whose religion differs 
 from ours ? " she went on. 
 
 " Most certainly not ; I respect every man's opinions, 
 my child. The mind is God's finest gift to man a 
 free and magnificent gift, which he has bestowed 
 untrammelled by any restrictions and regulated only 
 by the little indicator we call conscience. If God 
 permits a man to believe according to his reason, why 
 should I, who have no claim over my kind to supe- 
 riority of intellect, presume to assert that my mind 
 has attained to a greater infallibility of judgment ? " 
 
 The girl listened attentively and weighed his words 
 with a seriousness that somewhat surprised her father, 
 who was unaccustomed to seeing her deal with such 
 grave matters. 
 
 "Yes," she remarked after a few moments, with a
 
 138 DOCTOR LAMAIl. 
 
 sage little nod of assent, " I think you are right. But, 
 papa, supposing a person's mind were trained in a 
 channel of unbelief which made of him a sceptic ; 
 how then ? would you still allow him the latitude of 
 so much freedom of thought ? Would you still agree 
 that he might be in the right and you in the wrong ? 
 -^that it was only a question of the relative worth of 
 minds ? " 
 
 She had unintentionally caught the rector in a trap. 
 He looked a little disconcerted, but evaded the argu- 
 ment in a manner more satisfactory to her than if he 
 had tried to maintain his ground. 
 
 " Of such a person I should say, my dear, that his 
 indicator was quite out of balance. I should pity 
 him profoundly, and consider it incumbent upon me 
 to re-adjust the little needle to its true position." 
 
 "You would not hate him for his disbelief, and 
 shun and shrink from him for his ingratitude to 
 God ? " 
 
 Her eyes did not rest on her father's face any 
 longer ; they had stolen away out into the garden, and 
 were fixed upon a tall sweetbrier bush, beside which 
 she almost thought she saw a tall, grave figure standing. 
 
 " Why, Natalie, no ; most certainly not ! Could 
 there be any finer work than to regenerate such a poor 
 soul ? Little girl, let me tell you how such wandering
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 139 
 
 sheep are to be brought back into the fold ; not by 
 harsh treatment and avoidance, not by scornful speech 
 or coldness of manner; but by loving ministration, 
 tender pity and sympathy, by constant effort and 
 endeavor to show ourselves worthy imitators of Him 
 who said, ' Other sheep I have which are not of this fold ; 
 them also must I bring, and they shall hear my voice ; 
 and there shall be one fold and one shepherd.' Natalie, 
 we who call ourselves Christians are, in our self- 
 complacency, apt to slight one of the most tenderly 
 beautiful of our blessed Lord's parables that of the 
 lost sheep. How many, many times He impressed it 
 upon His disciples that sinners, and not the righteous, 
 were His special charge; and that the pathway which 
 should lead them back to the true life must not be a 
 gloomy route of reproach and blame, but a bright, 
 cheery way lighted by the divine torches of love and 
 charity. Little girl, let me give you an example. 
 Suppose that Robert were to leave home and wander 
 forth into the world. Misfortune overtakes him, he 
 falls into a life of sin, and writes to me for pecuniary 
 help. Being persuaded that to grant him this will but 
 encourage him in his downward course, I refuse to 
 accede to his request. He writes again, and yet 
 again, and still I continue inexorable. After a while 
 I cease to reply at all, fof his letters become threaten-
 
 140 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 ing, and mine appear only to irritate him. Receiving 
 no reply from me, he begins to doubt my continued 
 existence at last, and perhaps, influenced by what 
 appears to him my unnatural obduracy (he being quite 
 unable to appreciate the motives which have dictated 
 it), he grows to hate me and ceases to retain for me 
 the least filial affection. Many years later, when his 
 heart has grown bitter and callous, you chance to 
 meet him afar off in foreign lands. You know him 
 to be your brother, though he is alienated from you 
 by sin and prejudice; you still love him and know 
 how, at a distance, I am pining with yearning for my 
 unhappy boy. What would you do in such a case ? 
 Pass him by with a cold shrug as being unworthy of 
 your notice ? Could you persuade yourself that by 
 so doing you would gain my approval, who am still 
 passionately loving my prodigal and longing for his 
 return ? or do you think a system of angry recrimina- 
 tion and bitter reproach would be calculated to teach 
 him that I was considering only his ultimate welfare 
 by my conduct, and that I still wait with outstretched 
 arms and eager heart to welcome him back ? Don't 
 you rather think, my dear, that you would best teach 
 him how real my paternity is, by proving yourself his 
 true sister; by seeking to win him to a belief in my 
 wisdom and boundless affection, by the example of
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 141 
 
 your own tenderness and charity to him ? Don't you 
 think this the better method, my Natalie?" 
 
 And so the girl's perplexities wera set at rest, and 
 when the hour arrived for her to set out for the sta- 
 tion, her heart was considerably lighter as she jogged 
 on behind old Jenny. It was so much easier and 
 more comfortable to be on terms of peace with every- 
 body. This " everybody," however, excluded from its 
 embrace the Rev. Derrick Grafton, with whom, thanks 
 to his late conduct, she again felt herself to be on 
 hostile terms. 
 
 She waited impatiently for the express, anxious to 
 begin her work of conversion upon Lamar, whom she 
 was coming to regard as her special charge. When 
 the train at last steamed in and gave up its Fordham 
 passengers, there was a delicious, shy, little smile of 
 welcome on her face for Lamar, which gave him a 
 warm, comfortable feeling about the heart, and lighted 
 his gray eyes rather brilliantly. 
 
 "And darling Eleanor ? " she asked, as, with Robert 
 in behind and Laraar by her side, she tooled the cart 
 as smoothly over the ground as Jenny could be in- 
 duced to drag it ; " how is she ? " 
 
 "Doing as well as one could expect," Lamar re- 
 turned. " Your sister's coming was a perfect God- 
 send to Mrs. Mansfield. That estimable lady is
 
 142 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 decidedly out of her element in a sick-room. Miss 
 Dunstane's burns are not dangerous, though very 
 painful, poor girl ! How lucky that her face was 
 uninjured ! I have rarely seen greater beauty." 
 
 Robert looked pale and wan. It was terrible to 
 him to feel that Eleanor was undergoing such suffer- 
 ing. He had not seen her again, of course, and it is 
 always so hard to content one's self with tidings of 
 those we love through the medium of a third person. 
 Yet it was some comfort to know that Rhea was with 
 her; the fact seemed to constitute a bond between 
 him and the woman he loved. 
 
 The days went by, swiftly enough for Natalie and 
 Lamar, though they dragged heavily with Robert. 
 He had been offered a very excellent living in the 
 south of England : a living which was in the 'gift of 
 an uncle of his mother, and whose duties he would 
 enter upon as soon as the present incumbent, who had 
 received preferment, should retire. Meanwhile he 
 shared his time between Fordham and London. 
 
 Lamar showed himself the least exigeant of guests 
 as long as Natalie's society was obtainable ; and, as 
 Rhea still continued to remain away, and Robert's 
 absences were very frequent, the two were thrown 
 into a close intimacy that, had she been at home, 
 would not have escaped Rhea's notice as completely 
 as it did that of her father and brother.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 143 
 
 Had he been less preoccupied with his own affairs, 
 Robert could not have been so blind to the drift 
 which matters were taking, and it is more than prob- 
 able that he would have sought to check the current 
 of fate ; for, however great his affection and charity 
 for his friend, he was too illiberal a Christian to 
 tolerate the thought of his pure, innocent young 
 sister giving her life into the keeping of an atheist. 
 Men are proverbially obtuse in such matters ; and the 
 difference between the gay, light-hearted little maiden 
 and the grave, recently widowed physician seemed too 
 wide a one for Cupid to bridge. 
 
 Yet, had Robert's sight been freed from a constant 
 vision of that beautiful, cruelly outraged form of 
 Eleanor Dunstane, it might have detected the gradual 
 approach of the two natures which, under his very 
 eyes, were going through a metamorphosis wonder- 
 fully interesting to a psychologist. By degrees, the 
 gay vivacity of the girl was becoming toned to a 
 graver key. Her laugh was perhaps as frequent as 
 ever, but its quality had changed. Its spontaneity 
 was less marked, and its tones were richer and fuller. 
 She seemed as happy as formerly, but her merriment 
 was more fitful. She was becoming a victim of moods, 
 these being the evidence of the birth and develop- 
 ment of thought within her.
 
 144 DOCTOR LAMA It. 
 
 Oftentimes Lamar would enter the pleasant sitting- 
 room, thinking, by reason of its stillness, to find it 
 untenanted, and discover to his surprise a girlish 
 figure curled up in one of the broad window-seats, 
 with a grave, serious look in her violet eyes, and a 
 knot of perplexity wrinkling her smooth, white brow. 
 
 On such occasions he would seat himself beside her, 
 and seek to assist the untrained mind in solving the 
 riddles that were harassing it. His efforts to help 
 her in forming acceptable conclusions regarding the 
 greater problems of life usually resulted in impressing 
 her with a sense of the justice of his own views ; for, 
 sweet and amiable as Natalie was, her mind was 
 entirely unargumentative, and it was much easier for 
 her to succumb to the influence of others than to 
 combat it. She was feminine to the ends of her 
 finger-tips, which fact, perhaps more that anything 
 else, endeared her to Lamar. She was clinging, 
 docile, and exceedingly teachable ; and so charming 
 was it to see her mind expanding beneath his glance, 
 to feel her soul vibrating to his touch, that it scarcely 
 occurred to him to consider what effect his strong 
 rationalism was producing upon the girl's receptive 
 intellect, while no thought of treachery to those who 
 so implicitly trusted him disturbed his complacency. 
 
 It was not until long after that he awoke to a con-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 145 
 
 sciousness of the evil he had effected, and then, alas ! 
 he had no satisfactory material to offer for the rebuild- 
 ing of that fair structure of faith which he had so 
 unwittingly undermined. 
 
 While this change was taking place in the girl, a 
 still greater transformation was going on in the man. 
 Lamar looked ten years younger than when he first 
 arrived at Fordham. The preoccupation and gravity 
 born of his professional duties had quite vanished, 
 and his spirits were almost boyish in their rejuvenes- 
 cence. He had shaved his beard at Natalie's in- 
 stigation, and improved his looks wonderfully by 
 permitting the escape from ambush of his finely 
 modelled chin. The world had become to him a new 
 thing : life was now a different experience from any- 
 thing that existence had heretofore afforded him ; and 
 he felt that he was scarcely the same being as when 
 he left America. 
 
 Once in a while a recollection of the necessity for 
 his return to New York assailed him with unpleasant 
 force, but he thrust it resolutely aside. This was 
 holiday-time, the only real holiday his life had ever 
 known, and not one moment of it should be infringed 
 on by dull care. He rode, walked, went on picnics, 
 and gardened, with Natalie, and sometimes paused in 
 wonder at himself. He had become a familiar visitor
 
 146 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 at the Dunstanes', who liked him, one and all, and 
 encouraged his visits. 
 
 Perhaps Mrs. Dunstane, with feminine acumen, 
 saw the trend of the relationship between Natalie 
 and her brother's guest, but, being acquainted with 
 the latter's excellent standing and more than ample 
 fortune, she probably considered that should the natu- 
 ral result of their apparently mutual liking transpire, 
 the girl would be remarkably fortunate, and the rector 
 greatly to be envied. 
 
 There was another person who watched Lamar and 
 Natalie with careful eyes, and this was none other 
 than the Rev. Derrick Graf ton. His jealous sus- 
 picious had been first aroused on the day when 
 Natalie deserted him for Lamar, and he had been on 
 the alert ever since. He had had frequent occasions 
 for observation at the small gatherings with which 
 the neighborhood sought to amuse itself; and the 
 eyes of love are quick of detection. 
 
 The Rev. Derrick's mind, as we have seen, was not 
 a liberal one, and jealousy and suspicion flourish 
 best in shallow soil. He came very soon to hate 
 Lamar with all the bitterness of a narrow soul, and, 
 though a sufficiently kind and agreeable fellow when 
 things went to his liking, yet he was sufficiently 
 petty and ungenerous to grudge Lamar the prize he
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 147 
 
 knew himself incapable of acquiring. He could dis- 
 cover only one peg in the American's character on 
 which to hang suspicion and reproach this was his 
 non-church-going tendency. 
 
 From the first, Lamar had declined to avail himself 
 of the invitation extended to him by his host 
 whom Robert had prepared for the refusal by urging 
 his friend's nervous, restless condition of health, which 
 made the restraint imposed by church attendance 
 quite unendurable. The rector had readily granted 
 the position, and Lamar had on Sundays been left 
 free to follow the bent of his own inclinations. But 
 Grafton was less tolerant than his rector indeed, he 
 found frequent cause for disapproval in his superior's 
 charitable and clement views of the actions of 
 humanity. His numerous and pointed allusions to 
 Lamar's absence from church often made the latter's 
 muscles quiver with a longing to take the young 
 curate by the collar of his clerical coat, and adminis- 
 ter a sound shaking to him. 
 
 A trifling incident which happened at one of the 
 Dunstanes' picnics intensified Grafton's animosity : 
 after a merry al fresco lunch the party had broken 
 up into small groups. Lamar had been detained by 
 Lady Mary Freelove, the squiress of the village, 
 who was much interested in the system of asso-
 
 148 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 elated charities which does such a noble work in 
 America. 
 
 When he was finally at liberty to follow his incli- 
 nations, he discovered that Natalie had disappeared, 
 and supposed, as proved the case, that she had wan- 
 dered off for a little stroll by herself. He at once 
 detenu ined to seek her out, and, lighting a cigar, 
 threaded his way in and out of the small copsewood 
 where lunch had been served, and took the direction 
 of the river. For some time he could discover no 
 clew to the object of his search, but suddenly a sound 
 of voices arrested his attention. Some low bushes 
 separated him from the river bank, and it was from 
 the other side of the stream that the voices appar- 
 ently proceeded. 
 
 Natalie was speaking, and her tones were indig- 
 nant ; therefore it was easy to guess to whom they 
 were addressed. 
 
 "He is my friend," were the first distinct words 
 Lamar caught, " and I won't stand here and listen to 
 your calumnies, even if I have to swim ashore." 
 
 " He is a man who dares not enter holy sanctuary," 
 Grafton's voice replied; "and I wonder that your 
 father will tolerate beneath his roof one whose con- 
 stant neglect of devotion is an insult to his Creator." 
 
 " He is a man whose whole life has been spent in
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 149 
 
 ministering to others, and who, whatever may be his 
 religious views, is too truly a Christian to refuse his 
 services to the dying, as others, who profess much 
 more than he, have been known to do." 
 
 The shot, which was perhaps a little cruel, must 
 have told, for Graftoii's tone was quite altered when 
 he spoke again ; it was marked by real sorrow and 
 regret. 
 
 " You are thinking of the Catherwoods ? " he said 
 sadly. "Natalie, your father made me sufficiently 
 ashamed of my conduct toward them. You do not 
 need to add anything to my remorse." Then his 
 voice broke, and a pleading passion came into it, so 
 intense and hopeless, that it rendered Lamar indul- 
 gent to him, even to the pardoning of his words about 
 himself. "Oh, Natalie!" he cried earnestly, "why 
 are you so hard on me ? so cruel and unjust to me 
 alone out of the whole world ? Why can't you give 
 me a little" 
 
 Here Lamar's sense of honor proved itself potent, 
 and he was moving away to escape playing eaves- 
 dropper to what Robert denominated "another cul- 
 mination," when he heard a little startled cry from 
 Natalie, which altered his purpose and drew him 
 swiftly in her direction. 
 
 As he emerged from the bushes he saw that
 
 150 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Graf ton was standing, with outstretched hand, on 
 the opposite bank of the little stream, which had 
 here grown sufficiently shallow to permit of crossing 
 by the aid of stepping-stones. Midway in the stream 
 was Natalie, balancing herself on the slippery foot- 
 ing, and Lamar at once came to the conclusion that 
 the cry had been merely an attempt to create a 
 diversion and cut off Grafton's declaration, by calling 
 his attention to her threatening position. 
 
 He could not help smiling at her ruse as he came 
 forward and saluted her. 
 
 " What a terrible peril, Miss Natalie ! Grafton, 
 why don't you strip off your coat and swim to her 
 rescue ? " 
 
 The curate paid no attention to him, but advanced 
 a step or two over the stones to Natalie, still with 
 outstretched hand. 
 
 " Natalie," he protested, " don't go any farther." 
 
 A spirit of mischief entered Lamar's brain. He 
 advanced to the edge of the water and, poising him- 
 self on one of the stones on his side, held out his 
 strong, nervous hand. 
 
 "Miss Natalie," he exclaimed, "do come a little 
 farther ! " 
 
 Her roguish eyes met the fun in his. It was rather 
 a descriptive tableau that the trio made as they stood
 
 DOCTOR LAM AH. 151 
 
 thus. The quiet, verdant woodland, and the pretty, 
 silvery river; the fair, alluring maiden, in her pictu- 
 resque summer garb, balancing herself coquettishly 
 on her precarious footing in mid-stream ; and on 
 either side of her hesitant figure a man, with out- 
 stretched hand, waiting and eager to be chosen as 
 her knight. 
 
 The 'contrast in the faces of the two men was a 
 strong one, and a stranger would have laid his 
 money on Grafton to win. His handsome features 
 were marked with intense passion, and his youth 
 and beauty would have seemed to hold Lamar at 
 a disadvantage. 
 
 Apparently the latter was simply amused at the 
 situation and careless of its termination ; but any 
 close observer might have detected an earnestness 
 latent in his smile, and a touch of excitement dark- 
 ening the iris and dilating the pupil of his gray 
 eyes. 
 
 The girl paused and balanced herself uncertainly 
 upon her toes for a moment or more ; not that she 
 was at all undecided as to her ultimate choice, but 
 because she felt an inclination to practise a bit that 
 gift of coquetry which even the gentlest of Eve's 
 daughters enjoys exercising. Then, gathering her 
 dainty skirts a trifle more closely about her, she
 
 152 DOCTOR LAMAB. 
 
 deliberately turned her back upon Grafton, and, 
 crossing the intervening stones, laid her soft white 
 lingers in Lamar's with a little blush. 
 
 He caught them eagerly and held them a moment 
 close prisoners in his, as he stooped, and, lifting his 
 hat courteously, looked her almost tenderly in the 
 face. 
 
 "I thank you, Natalie," he said simply, without 
 the customary prefix, and then dropped her hand and 
 walked on rather silently at her side. 
 
 Since that episode Grafton had made no effort to 
 conceal his dislike of Lamar. His early prejudice 
 had become bitter hatred, and he felt a consuming 
 desire to prove the un worthiness of his rival by 
 discovering something which should reflect discredit 
 upon his character. 
 
 It chanced that Grafton had a friend in New York, 
 a young American who had been educated with him- 
 self at Eton. Being aware of Dr. Lamar's well- 
 established footing in his native city, it appeared 
 to Grafton possible that his friend might be able 
 to inform him of some discreditable facts regard- 
 ing Lamar's method of life in America. He there- 
 fore despatched a letter to Lawrence Kockwood, 
 in which he mentioned the American physician's 
 presence in Fordham in an apparently casual man-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 153 
 
 ner, and asked Rockwood if he were acquainted 
 with him. 
 
 During the time which elapsed before a reply 
 could be received, Grafton occupied himself with 
 maintaining a careful watch upon the rectory. 
 
 The want of the governing hand was beginning 
 to manifest itself in the Wyndham household. 
 Natalie hated the detail of housekeeping, and, it 
 must be confessed, neglected her duties shamefully. 
 Catherine was very prone to take advantage of her 
 inexperience, and, feeling outraged by the prolonged 
 absence of the real housekeeper, revenged herself 
 upon the palates of the household. 
 
 The soup, nowadays, was very apt to be burned, 
 the joint overdone, and Catherine found the method 
 of making a huge batch of tarts and serving them 
 day after day for dessert, much easier than endeav- 
 oring to vary the monotony of the table by fresh 
 exertions. 
 
 Mutterings of discontent and discomfort reached 
 Rhea and made her uneasy in London. She had 
 been away now two weeks, and she felt that her 
 presence was really needed at home. To add to her 
 anxiety came a. letter from Mrs. Dunstane conveying 
 the intelligence of her complete restoration to health, 
 and signifying her intention of setting Rhea at lib-
 
 154 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 erty in order that she might return home, "for," the 
 good lady added, "although Robert and your father 
 are really sufficient chaperons, still, Ehea dear, I 
 do feel that Natalie is allowed a little too much 
 freedom with your guest, who is a very charming 
 and delightful man, I must confess. Will not people 
 soon begin to talk if Natalie is seen so much in his 
 society without your protection ? " 
 
 The letter gave Rhea a start, and she felt as if an 
 icy hand had been suddenly laid on her heart. Of 
 all possible contingencies she had regarded this least. 
 No one but Lamar had ever roused the slightest con- 
 ceit in Rebecca "VVyndham's nature ; but his deference 
 and attention to herself had awakened in her soul 
 a thought that perhaps here was the opportunity 
 which tradition says is afforded at least once to every 
 woman who lives to maturity. She had admired him 
 beyond any man she had ever seen, and her broad, 
 generous spirit had gone out in sympathetic response 
 to an indefinable need that seemed shadowed forth 
 in his grave face. 
 
 He had appeared so congenial to her, so eminently 
 adapted to her age and experience, that she had 
 grown to regard him as especially related to her ; 
 and much of the time spent in Eleanor's sick-room 
 bad been occupied with thoughts of him. She should
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 155 
 
 never forget his exceeding gentleness and tenderness 
 with the sufferer, as, cautiously, and with skilled 
 hand, he had examined her injuries. Even Eleanor 
 herself had remarked it, exclaiming to Khea, as he 
 left the room, 
 
 "Oh, Ehea ! what a heart that man must have! 
 No wonder Robert loves him so ! " 
 
 And now it was suggested that Natalie had become 
 his companion, vice herself, deposed by absence. It 
 seemed incredible. She could not convince herself 
 that such might be the case. It was hard for her to 
 realize not being able to arrive at a full compre- 
 hension of man's nature that Lamar could crave 
 and enjoy a companionship like that which little 
 Natalie's unsophisticated nature could furnish. She 
 could not comprehend that love may be wholly in- 
 different to intellectual culture, and that passion 
 is stirred by more feminine qualities than those of 
 the understanding. 
 
 It was a lack of this femininity which Laura Lamar 
 had deplored in her own nature, and which she had 
 felt the impossibility of supplying by any of her 
 other fine endowments. It was the atmosphere of 
 exquisite womanliness and dependence which envel- 
 oped Natalie, that captivated Lamar's senses and 
 awoke in his heart a passion of which he was him- 
 self scarcely conscious.
 
 156 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Rhea felt that she must return. Her great, strong 
 heart ached with longing to prove by personal obser- 
 vation that gossip was wrong; that the possibility 
 yet remained open to her of attaining to those royal 
 conditions of wife and motherhood, which are a 
 woman's birthright, and which she had hoped might 
 sometime crown her life with their divine blessings. 
 
 She wrote and despatched a note to Mrs. Dunstane 
 accepting her offer, and another to Robert, acquaint- 
 ing him with her intention of returning at once. 
 Then she sat down in a low chair by the window, 
 and, as twilight gathered about her, she drew her 
 Avatch from her bosom, pressed the case open, and 
 sat a long, long time contemplating the face within 
 its cover. 
 
 It was a laughing, radiant photograph of Natalie, 
 taken before the soul had come into her eyes. Joy, 
 carelessness, caprice, and roguishness were mingled 
 in the merry smile ; and as she dwelt on the childish 
 character of the riante face, Rhea answered the 
 merry glance Avith a low, amused laugh at the folly 
 of Mrs. Dunstane's suggestion, and shook her head 
 incredulously at the idea of mutual attraction exist- 
 ing between Philip Lamar and the original of that 
 counterfeit presentment.
 
 DOCTOR LAM Alt. 157 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 RHEA found Robert awaiting her at the Fordham 
 station when she alighted from the train upon the 
 day fixed for her return, and, after the usual greet- 
 ings had been exchanged between them, the first 
 question of the careful housekeeper was, naturally, 
 
 " Well, dear, how is everything at home ? " 
 
 " Oh, only tolerable, Rhea," Robert replied. To 
 tell you the truth, dear old woman, we do miss you 
 sadly. Admirable as Natalie may be in other re- 
 spects, she is wofully deficient in her present capa- 
 city. Jam apparently embraces her whole commis- 
 sariat horizon, and she cannot seem to understand 
 why an unlimited supply of that article should not 
 be an all-sufficient diet. Whenever her larder has 
 run low, jam has nobly come to the front, and I'll 
 venture to say that Lamar will forswear the article 
 for the rest of his natural life. Oh, by the way, 
 Rhea, he leaves us to-morrow." 
 
 " Leaves Fordham ! " There was great surprise in 
 the exclamation, mingled with unmistakable chagrin. 
 
 "Yes; he may return, however, and finish out his
 
 158 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 visit later. He has had a letter from Paris urging 
 him to go over and attend a sort of congress of phy- 
 sicians interested in the germ theory. You know he 
 has made zymotic diseases somewhat a specialty, and 
 is considered a very good authority in the matter of 
 bacteria." 
 
 " Oh, I am sorry, Robert ! I do really regret hav- 
 ing lost so much of his visit. And you, too, you will 
 miss him sadly." 
 
 " Yes ; but I think I shall run over a little later and 
 join him at Heidelberg. Then, if he will come back 
 with me, I shall bring him ; with your permission, of 
 course. I am glad you like Lamar, Rhea; and father, 
 too, seems to have grown really fond of him. As 
 for Natalie, the child actually makes a playfellow of 
 him ! It makes me laugh to see how the grave old 
 chap humors her caprices, and falls in with her 
 whims. I think she has done him an immense deal 
 of good." 
 
 The dark flush, which was so unbecoming to Miss 
 Wyndham's face, suffused it as Robert spoke. Then 
 it was true that Lamar enjoyed little Natalie's soci- 
 ety ! A short sigh escaped her as she turned her face 
 a little away, and seemed for a few moments lost in 
 silent admiration of the glowing sunset. 
 
 It was a glorious sight. June had faded into July
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 159 
 
 during Rhea's absence, and the whole land seemed 
 sensuous with the mid-summer warmth. The country- 
 side was teeming with its rich burden of fruit and 
 flower, and the sinking sun was painting the land- 
 scape with the most vivid shades of Nature's palette. 
 Tn the west, the great golden ball of fire was slowly 
 withdrawing from its daily course, bidding a glowing 
 adieu to the land its rays had all the long day held in 
 a passionate embrace. Light, fleecy clouds that 
 sailed close to its gorgeous presence caught the 
 reflection of its brilliant beauty, and shed various 
 and individual hues over the scene, their rays min- 
 gling finally into one grand harmony of color. 
 
 Khea turned, presently, with a little glow born of 
 the sunset and its suggestiveness upon her rugged 
 features. She touched Robert's arm to draw his 
 attention to the wonderful picture. 
 
 "See, dear," she said softly, "what a magnificent 
 spectacle ! Is not the glory of the sun almost sym- 
 bolical of that of our Lord? See with what radiant 
 beauty it invests all that conies within its presence. 
 All those light, pretty clouds that are aglow with its 
 rays, appear to me like perfected spirits that have 
 become so thoroughly purged of the shadow of sin 
 that they can fully receive the glory of the Divine 
 spirit and help to spread its majesty abroad over the
 
 160 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 whole world by their various acts of love and charity. 
 Look at those darker clouds that stand farther off ; 
 are they not typical of the unhappy souls who are 
 forever struggling against the sacred influence and 
 yet, despite themselves, gradually yielding to its 
 dominion ? Then below there, see that stratum of 
 cumuli. Oh, Robert, all the long day it has lain 
 there, dark, gloomy, and forbidding; holding within 
 itself the germs of mighty storms and tempests ! 
 See ! the sun goes westward, and the clouds do not 
 rise to seek its warmth; it almost seems to pause 
 above them, as if yearning to draw them upwards to 
 itself. Will it, perchance, descend at last within 
 their scope, or are those wretched, miserable souls 
 doomed to go into the darkness of death, unvivified 
 by that gentle, all-powerful light?" 
 
 She seemed so rapt in her conceit that Robert, too, 
 yielded to its infection. 
 
 "No, they cannot attain to it," he exclaimed, as he 
 shook his head. " See, Rhea, they are gradually 
 moving away along the horizon. But look ! there is 
 one that detaches itself from the mass and seems to 
 be moving slowly upwards." 
 
 "Yes; and see that bit of glowing cirrus which 
 approaches it. They appear to be drawn to each 
 other. Look, look, Robert, the dark cloud begins to 
 catch the reflection ! "
 
 DOCTOR LAM A 11. 161 
 
 "Yes; but ah! the cirrus is losing a little of its 
 radiance in proportion as the other gains. Poor thing ! 
 poor thing ! See, Rhea, how opaque it is becoming. 
 Now they have nearly met, and the shadows from the 
 cloud are wrapping the poor little cirrus about now 
 it has lost its beauty entirely what a cold, pale 
 thing it has grown ! At last they have come 
 together. Good-by, little cloud; your happy day is 
 over; the darkness of death has encompassed you!" 
 
 Rhea smiled disappointedly. 
 
 " Too bad, wasn't it ? I had hopes for the heavy 
 cloud. How fast the sun is sinking! I think I'll 
 have that wrap about me, dear ; the tragedy of 
 the clouds has sent a chill to my heart, I believe." 
 She laughed, drew the shawl about her shoulders, 
 and then resumed the former subject. 
 
 " Oh, Robert ! apropos of Natalie, do you think it 
 possible that she and your friend can be especially 
 interested in each other ? " 
 
 Robert started ; his bright, sunny face clouded for 
 a moment, and then he burst into a hearty laugh. 
 
 " Ha, ha, ha ! Rhea, what an absurd fancy ! Lamar 
 and Natalie in love with one another ! I would as 
 soon dream of associating you and Dicky Dunstane. 
 Why, Rhea, Lamar is old and staid enough in mind, 
 if not in years, to be the child's father; besides
 
 162 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 which" more gravely "his wife has not been 
 dead six months yet, and he was devotedly attached 
 to her." 
 
 Khea drew a breath of relief. It was a comfort to 
 her to have her own hopes confirmed by Robert's 
 convictions. Yet she noticed at once the alteration 
 in Natalie when her eyes rested upon the girl's sweet 
 face, upon which a new look of wistful gravity had 
 settled. She divined at one glance, with the intuition 
 which comes of deep affection, that a subtle change 
 had been gradually creeping over the merry, happy 
 spirit ; that a new thoughtfulness and seriousness 
 had deepened the expression of the dark blue eyes. 
 
 Natalie had elected to welcome Rhea in the latter's 
 chamber rather than on the porch in public. She had 
 waved a little greeting from the window as the car- 
 riage approached, and a sudden choking had come 
 into her throat at sight of the dear, homely face she 
 loved so well. 
 
 The girl failed to understand herself of late. She 
 did not recognize her own light-hearted self in the 
 capricious creature of moods, who laughed as gayly as 
 ever at one moment, and the next felt as if the sun 
 no longer contained warmth and light. She was 
 genuinely puzzled at her fitful spirits. She would 
 wake one morning gloriously happy, and the next an
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 163 
 
 indefinable depression would make her its victim, and 
 she would find the effort of rising almost beyond her 
 strength. 
 
 She had striven valiantly to fulfil her father's 
 instructions and lead Lamar to the love of God 
 through the sweetest ministrations of her own 
 fiiendship, and she had often made religion the sub- 
 ject of their tete-a-tetes, seeking in the most innocent, 
 childlike way to present to Lamar her notion of the 
 Divinity and of the great after-life, and to win him 
 to a belief and faith similar to her own. 
 
 Her efforts would have been laughable to Lamar if 
 they had not been so earnest and lovable. Her poor 
 little arguments, based on a pure, childish faith and 
 advanced with a wistfulness that made her appear 
 ten times more charming than under other circum- 
 stances, had but one effect upon the confirmed 
 agnostic, and that was to create in him a wish that he 
 might accept Christianity in her trustful, unques- 
 tioning spirit, and feel himself content with its 
 mysticism, as she did. 
 
 Unfortunately, against his will, almost against his 
 consciousness, he had occasionally been led into 
 argument with her. Far indeed was it from his wish 
 or intention to sow a seed of doubt in her mind or 
 disturb what he chose to call her credulity. She was
 
 164 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 wholly admirable, he thought, in her simplicity, and 
 the very weakness of her reasoning was an added 
 charm in his sight. Yet, he had, unwittingly, set her 
 thinking. His powerful mind was slowly gaining 
 ascendency over hers. She no longer advanced her 
 pleas boldly, strong in the consciousness of her faith. 
 Indeed, she now rarely brought religion upon the 
 carpet, for though her belief was as yet strong and 
 unwavering, she began to feel a little troubled about 
 it, having awakened to a consciousness that it was 
 unsupported by the proof that Lamar apparently 
 considered of such vast importance. 
 
 A possible contingency had, for the first time in her 
 life, occurred to her. What if Lamar should be right, 
 and death be the end of all , things ! She tried 
 resolutely to put the thought from her, but it would 
 haunt her mind and trouble her spirit, making her 
 restless by day and anxious and wakeful by night. 
 She would not speak to her father or Robert on the 
 subject, fearing to arouse their suspicions of Lamar ; 
 and she brooded over the matter in her own mind 
 until it was scarcely to be wondered at that it wrought 
 its effect upon her sensitive temperament. 
 
 As she felt Khea's arms close tightly about her, the 
 girl laid her head wearily upon her sister's broad 
 bosom and heaved a sigh that was almost a sob.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAK. 165 
 
 Khea said nothing, only held her a little closer, and 
 stroked the wavy hair tenderly back from the low 
 brow, as she had been wont to do when Natalie was 
 a little child ; while a throb of anguish made her own 
 heart sick within her, for a moment, in unwonted 
 selfishness of regret. It was all plain to her now, she 
 fancied. Natalie did indeed love Lamar, and sorrow 
 at his departure was now grieving her sorely. 
 
 Notwithstanding her own suffering, the impulse to 
 comfort and humor the child was Rhea's first consid- 
 eration. She bent her head and kissed the pretty, 
 sad face. 
 
 " Don't fret, little one ; I know all about it," she 
 murmured soothingly ; " it will all come right 
 some day." 
 
 The assurance, born of misunderstanding though it 
 was, poured balm on Natalie's spirit. Rhea was to 
 her infallible. She had never questioned her judg- 
 ment in any respect. She felt now that Rhea had at 
 a glance read all her worries and perplexities, and 
 her words of comfort seemed to imply that she could 
 sympathize with them from a personal experience, 
 above which she had risen victorious. 
 
 Her old, bright expression came back to her face, 
 and though no further allusion was made to the sub- 
 ject, she went down to dinner with such a happy,
 
 166 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 cheery expression in her eyes that it caused Rhea a 
 little surprise and Lamar decided chagrin. Was she 
 not at all regretful, he wondered, at his departure ? 
 
 He had come to the full knowledge of how dear 
 she had grown to him, and it was largely because of 
 this realization that he was leaving Fordham for a 
 while. He feared that he could not remain much 
 longer in daily companionship with her without be- 
 traying himself; and respect for his wife's memory 
 made such a proceeding impossible at present. He 
 was not at all sure that Natalie cared for him. She 
 had seemed at first to like him and to enjoy being 
 with him, but of late he could not but recognize the 
 fact that his presence had seemed to disturb her, and 
 that she was much more light-hearted and far gayer 
 alone or with others than with him. 
 
 This pained and perplexed him, and rendered the 
 invitation from his Paris confreres more welcome 
 than had it come some days sooner. He would go 
 away for a while, he thought, perhaps, indeed, return 
 to America for six months to prove both himself and 
 her. It might be that she had cast a glamour over 
 him which absence would dispel. It was very pos- 
 sible, too, that he should return to find her engaged 
 to Derrick Grafton, or some other young fellow better 
 suited to her age and temperament than he. Not-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAB. 167 
 
 withstanding his present passion for her, he could 
 almost bring himself to admit that such would be for 
 her greater happiness. He seemed so grave, so staid, 
 so the word sceptical forced itself upon his con- 
 sideration in this connection for the first time with 
 unpleasant suggestiveness. 
 
 It had never before occurred to him that his agnos- 
 tical views might prove an insurmountable barrier in 
 his suit for Natalie. Would Mr. Wyndham, would 
 Robert even, permit him to marry Natalie, should 
 he be so lucky as to win her love ? Indeed, would 
 the girl herself consent to consider the offer of an 
 atheist ? 
 
 Failure in any undertaking he set himself to ac- 
 complish had been an exceedingly rare experience 
 with Lamar, and this suggestion, of the possibly 
 disastrous consequences of his unorthodox views, 
 roused all his combativeness. 
 
 His first wife- had been easy of winning, and he 
 was sufficiently man of the world to appreciate the 
 fact that he was a good parti, and would be warmly 
 welcomed as son-in-law by most fathers with mar- 
 riageable daughters. For atheistical tendencies have 
 become rather the fashion nowadays, and so agnosti- 
 cism be bound in cloth of gold, it is rather interest- 
 ing reading to worldlings, and attractive to the sight 
 of many a maiden.
 
 168 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 But Lamar had noted the utter unvvorldliness of 
 the inmates of Fordham rectory, and had acquired a 
 very correct estimate of the simplicity of the aims 
 and aspirations which there held sway. Riches were 
 a small factor in the rector's summing up of life's 
 benefits, while his calculations of happiness were 
 based upon better security than that of pounds and 
 pence. 
 
 He had probably never considered the possibility 
 of Natalie's marrying, and still regarded her as a 
 mere child. Perhaps, if he ever gave the subject 
 a thought, it was through the suggestion of Derrick 
 Grafton's very evident love for her, which, it seemed 
 natural and proper to believe, might result in 
 Natalie's becoming, as had her mother, a clergyman's 
 wife. 
 
 Lamar quite appreciated the fact that, should he 
 hope for a successful issue to his suit, his pretensions 
 must be backed by something other than wealth or 
 position ; that the advantages which would recom- 
 mend him to other alliances would be held of no 
 account in this. Yet he felt that he had scored one 
 great point in winning the rector's friendship and 
 confidence. It seemed to him that, being thus forti- 
 fied, a confession of his heterodoxy would scarcely 
 awake the same sensations of distrust and intolerance
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 1G9 
 
 as would very naturally greet a similar disclosure 
 from strange lips. 
 
 The realization of his love for Natalie had stolen 
 over him so gradually that it had caused him no 
 shock to awaken to the fact that another woman had 
 usurped Laura's place in his heart. But was Natalie 
 indeed a usurper ? Had any other woman, had even 
 she who for six happy years had been his wife, ever 
 aroused the same emotions in him that Natalie had 
 awakened ? Was the calm, dispassionate affection 
 he had felt for Laura in any way akin to this sweet, 
 new tide of love which had cast a radiance over every 
 moment of this holiday-time ; making of it a season 
 of boyish delight, compared with which every so- 
 called joy of his antecedent life paled into insignifi- 
 cance ? Could he recall any instance of abandonment 
 on Laura's part which had caused him one throb of 
 the exultant emotion that had surged through his 
 heart when Natalie laid her slender fingers in his as 
 she came to him over the stepping-stones ? 
 
 Perhaps it was the altogether different temper of 
 his regard for the two women that prevented his feel- 
 ing any sense of treason toward Laura in his new 
 attachment. She was in no manner deposed by a 
 new queen ; her place in his life had been a unique 
 one, which surely little Natalie could never fill. It
 
 170 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 had been that of "guide, philosopher, and friend," 
 rather than that of sweetheart, mistress, and wife. 
 Hers had been the stronger nature, and therefore she 
 had made no demand upon his protection, had never 
 by her feminine weakness and dependence appealed 
 to that reserve fund of tenderness which lies at the 
 bottom of every truly manly heart. Let a woman 
 but once create a demand upon this superior mascu- 
 line strength, and she establishes for herself a claim 
 upon the man's interest which is rarely unheeded. 
 
 Perhaps Dr. Lamar had never come so near really 
 loving his wife as during the last period of her ill- 
 ness, when suffering and endurance had bent her 
 strong spirit a little. But even then, save in that 
 one supreme moment when she had demanded her 
 release from him, she had found strength within her- 
 self to render her independent of his aid. 
 
 Lamar could not remember that he had ever 
 thrilled at look or touch of hers ; yet a shy, sweet 
 glance from under the wide fringe of Natalie's lids 
 would send a tender warmth through his whole 
 strong body, while did her hand brush, like a butter- 
 fly's wing, even the hem of his garment, its touch 
 aroused in him a wild desire to catch and imprison it 
 forever within his own broad clasp. 
 
 These sensations were all so novel that he dis-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE, 171 
 
 trusted them, and it was mainly this distrust thajb 
 was urging him to prove their worth by absence. He 
 had heard of midsummer madness, and was a little 
 prone to believe himself its victim. Separation from 
 the enchantress who had bewitched his sober senses, 
 and resumed application to the grim materialities of 
 life, might and probably would work a speedy cure 
 of his temporary aberration. But a stubborn deter- 
 mination underlaid this wise intention of departure, 
 and perhaps gave him courage to fulfil it ; namely, 
 if, at the end of a sufficiently prolonged season, he 
 still felt the spell of Natalie's influence, and was con- 
 vinced of its continued duration, he would return to 
 Fordham and learn from her own lips whether she 
 would merge her existence in his. 
 
 Then, if she said ay to his suit, not all the powers 
 of light or darkness, not all the objections or nega- 
 tives of friends, parents, or relatives, should prevent 
 him from winning and wearing the precious gift of 
 her life. 
 
 Some of these thoughts had crowded into his mind 
 as he sat in one of the deep, comfortable lounging- 
 chairs in the sitting-room after dinner on that last 
 evening of his visit, and watched the dim outlines 
 of the girl's figure as she sat and strummed vaguely 
 on the little piano.
 
 172 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 . The room was illumined only by the late twilight, 
 dusk being well beloved by the innocent souls at the 
 rectory guilt and sin, they say, cannot abide the 
 gloaming. The rector had fallen asleep on one of 
 the broad window-seats, and at the far end of the 
 room Rhea and Robert were discussing, in low, 
 hushed tones, which should not disturb Natalie's 
 fitful playing, Eleanor's condition and the probable 
 date of her return to Melbury for it had been 
 decided that she should be moved to her own home 
 as soon as her injuries would permit. 
 
 The comfort of Rhea's presence had warmed 
 Natalie's spirits into a jubilant mood, quite akin to 
 her former happy joyousness. She had been carol- 
 ling forth all the bright, optimistic ballads of her 
 repertoire, with a light-heartedness that had been a 
 rather foreign element of late in her singing. After 
 a little she paused and dropped her hands from the 
 keyboard into her lap, and sat for a while perfectly 
 motionless, as if rapt in thought. 
 
 The piano faced the west, and what little lingering 
 light yet remained of the day stole through an 
 opposite window and touched the girl's face with a 
 soft, shadowy glow. She apparently had become 
 oblivious of her audience and was lost in her own 
 reflections, which, it pained Lamar to observe, seemed
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 173 
 
 to be quite independent of him or his departure. 
 The little knots, which of late had wrinkled the fair 
 brow, had smoothed themselves out, and the old 
 tranquillity had settled again on the sweet features. 
 Lainar sought diligently to discover a trace of sad- 
 ness which should be a sign to him that his own 
 regrets at leaving were shared even slightly by her. 
 But none such were evident on the unruffled surface 
 of her face. 
 
 The room was very still. Rhea and her brother 
 had moved out of the glass doors into the garden, 
 and the rector still slumbered on. Suddenly, a soft, 
 tender light came into Natalie's eyes ; she lifted her 
 hands, placed them again on the keyboard, and struck 
 a few chords. Then through the shadows of the 
 silent room stole her rich, low voice, weighted with 
 the melodious description of the Divine agony. 
 
 " There is a green hill far away," she sang to the 
 beautiful air with which Gounod has so richly clothed 
 the wondrous story. 
 
 A new realization of the exquisite beauty of the 
 Christian legend came to Lamar as he sat and lis- 
 tened. It so happened that he had never heard 
 either words or melody before, being no church-goer, 
 and he felt touched and moved by the reverent sim- 
 plicity with which the story of the Atonement was
 
 174 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 told. Perhaps Natalie had never before sung with 
 such power or emotion. Her pure faith in the Sav- 
 iour had received its first rude shock, and her heart 
 had been sore and troubled within her. She had not 
 arrived at a stage of doubtfulness, and would have 
 regarded such a contingency with horror ; but it had 
 been a new revelation to her that irreverent hands 
 could lay their desecrating touch upon her images, 
 and she had been fearful of discerning a smirch 
 upon their pure beauty, left by the contact of unclean 
 fingers. 
 
 Rhea had reassured her upon this point, and she 
 felt a need of expressing to Lamar, as earnestly as 
 possible, how dear and precious to her were the idols 
 he contemned. So she threw a passion and warmth 
 into her voice, which aroused in her listener a desire 
 that he, too, might believe in the beautiful story of 
 the Divine sacrifice. 
 
 A sense of exclusion from the heritage of his kind 
 awoke within him, and when the little household 
 gathered in the rector's study, an hour later, for 
 evening prayers, although, out of deference to his 
 host he had never failed in attendance at the daily 
 devotions, he for the first time felt the consciousness 
 of intellectual superiority, bred of his spiritual eman- 
 cipation overshadowed by a paiuful sensation of alien-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAlt. 175 
 
 ation, a feeling that he was standing, a hopeless 
 outcast, a Pariah of his own creating, beyond the 
 threshold of the mansion of peace and happiness, 
 within whose portals were included the masses of 
 humanity. 
 
 The next morning he left Fordham. Ehea's fare- 
 well was far warmer than Natalie's ; and Lamar felt 
 annoyed by a harassing conviction that the latter 
 would be distinctly relieved when he got fairly away. 
 He had seen her alone but for a brief moment before 
 his departure, and that was before breakfast in the 
 garden, having hastened his toilet preparations that 
 he might entrap her there. 
 
 "Miss Natalie," he said after the morning greet- 
 ings had been exchanged between them, " I may not 
 come back again. You know there is a wise saying 
 to the effect that doubtful things are uncertain." 
 
 She laughed, but looked a little startled never- 
 theless. 
 
 "Oh, but you will come," she protested. "You 
 have promised, you know ! " 
 
 "Yes," he replied; "with reservations. If is a 
 hurdle that wishes cannot always overleap. I shall 
 come if possible. In case I never see Fordham again, 
 however, there is one souvenir which would always 
 be a talisman to awake rny tenderest memories of it ;
 
 176 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 it is one of your sweetbrier roses. Will you give it 
 to me?" 
 
 She flushed a little, more perhaps by reason of the 
 real emotion that thrilled in his words than from the 
 words themselves. His heart throbbed a little faster 
 as he felt her fingers tremble when he took the rose- 
 bud from them ; and the flush deepened as he stooped 
 and pressed his lips to the pretty palm. 
 
 But she gave no other than this doubtful sign that 
 his going affected her; and, as the dog-cart turned 
 out of the rectory gates, his last glimpse of her was 
 of a smiling, untroubled face, upturned to the rector's 
 fond gaze, as the two strolled, with intertwined arms, 
 down the gravelled slope.
 
 DOCTOR LAM AH. 177 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 LIFE at the rectory apparently pursued its ordinary 
 course after the departure of Lamar. I say appar- 
 ently, for in reality a subtle change had been wrought 
 in the even and somewhat monotonous tenor of its 
 flow, that made of existence an altogether different 
 thing than it had hitherto appeared to be. 
 
 Its effect was most evident in Natalie, and reacted 
 in greater or less degree on all who came in imme- 
 diate contact with her. Naturally, Rhea, who had 
 been the girl's confidante from her infancy, fell most 
 largely under the shadow of the new and unaccus- 
 tomed reservation which withheld the free inter- 
 change of thought and sentiment. Hitherto Natalie's 
 confidences had vented themselves as spontaneously 
 as the tide of melody which gushes from the trilling 
 throat of a warbler. 
 
 It is strange how certain previously frank, impul- 
 sive natures, finding themselves all at once put upon 
 their guard, may of a sudden invest their bearing 
 with a simple dignity which precludes all attempts 
 to surprise their confidence. So it was with Natalie.
 
 178 DOCTOR LAMAU. 
 
 Perfectly communicative as she had ever been with 
 Rhea, the latter now felt that she was separated from 
 her sister's heart by a fine, impalpable network 
 which, while it gave her no opportunity to grasp and 
 analyze it, yet was as potent a barrier of reserve as if 
 it had been an armor of steel. 
 
 Rhea could not discover what had brought about 
 this change. Having been prepared to find evidences 
 that Cupid had been working mischief in the girl's 
 heart, she was, as we have seen, prone to attribute 
 Natalie's altered demeanor to the little god's handi- 
 work ; but closer observation failed to detect evidence 
 corroborative of this conclusion. Indeed, the girl's 
 obvious relief at Lamar's departure differed so widely 
 from Rhea's own sensations of regret and despon- 
 dency, that it was impossible to believe that Natalie 
 could really be the victim of a tender attachment 
 to him. 
 
 She spoke his name as she spoke Robert's, without 
 blush or special intonation, and made public her 
 admiration and friendship for him with a total lack 
 of consciousness which proved the absence of any 
 deeper emotion in her regard for him. If Rhea had 
 been called upon to define the change she noticed in 
 the girl, she would in all likelihood have replied that 
 Natalie had grown more serious and womanly ; that
 
 DOCTOR LA MAR. 179 
 
 some unknown crisis of development had taken place 
 within her, working its inevitable result of maturity. 
 And such was indeed the fact. 
 
 The great problem of immortality had of a sudden 
 been set, in its material aspect, before the girl's senti- 
 mental vision, and she had awakened to the fact that 
 no one could solve it to her own satisfaction but her- 
 self. The vastness of the subject discouraged her. 
 She felt much as a new-born kitten must feel who, 
 having lived for nine days with closed eyelids pas- 
 sively accepting the fact of existence and throwing 
 upon its mother the charge and maintenance of its 
 life, suddenly opens its vision upon the realities of 
 the world. She was confused and overwhelmed by 
 the consciousness that she was a free agent ; that 
 never again should she be content to let others do 
 her thinking for her. 
 
 Rhea had indeed been mistaken in her surmise. 
 "Whether or no Lainar had incidentally awakened the 
 girlish heart, it was the intellect which had chiefly 
 responded to his influence. He had found it dor- 
 mant ; he had left it struggling into consciousness. 
 
 Rhea's suspicions were quite allayed by the new 
 occupation Natalie had set herself, and which sug- 
 gested a welcome idea in favor of Derrick Grafton. 
 It was nowadays no uncommon thing to discover the
 
 180 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 girl poring earnestly over some huge theological 
 tome. That the weight of the book and its subject 
 proved too great for her physical and mental strength 
 was often evinced by the fact that slumber frequently 
 overtook the lovely student in the midst of her re- 
 searches. 
 
 But one day Rhea made a chance discovery which 
 startled her. She found Natalie curled up on one of 
 the broad window-seats sound asleep, with her head 
 resting on Kenan's "Life of Jesus." She cautiously 
 abstracted the volume and bore it off to the study, 
 where, with a look of horror in her eyes, she held it 
 out to her father. 
 
 "See, papa," she said in a frightened voice, "I 
 have just stolen this from under Natalie's head. Is 
 it well, do you think, for the child to have such free 
 admission to your library ? " 
 
 The rector received the book with a show of sur- 
 prise, unmixed, however, with Khea's more lively 
 emotion of fright. 
 
 " Little Natalie reading Kenan ! " he exclaimed. 
 " Well, this is a revelation, truly ! Yet, Rhea, I do 
 not think I would forbid it. I would not give a fig 
 for a prescribed line of thought in religious matters." 
 
 "No ; but you certainly must approve of a directed 
 one, papa. Is it not positively dangerous to allow an
 
 DOCTOli LAMAR. 181 
 
 intellectual infant like Natalie to feed as she will 
 on dishes difficult of digestion to even maturer 
 palates ? " 
 
 " Hm ! Well, yes perhaps you are right, my 
 Rhea. But you know I am broader in my views than 
 many of my brethren. I am not anxious to see my 
 children adhere too closely to the prejudices and 
 intolerances which I feel are such an injury to our 
 Church. Kobert is far too illiberal, you know, for 
 my fancy. Christianity, my dear, should be, I feel, 
 a broad and generous mantle to envelop all the mem- 
 bers of Christ's body, not a short, narrow waistcoat 
 for a single portion to hug itself in. No, no, Rhea ; 
 let the child browse as she will among my shelves ; 
 there is nothing there to do her positive injury, and 
 I'll trust to the natural spirituality of her sweet 
 little soul to keep her in the right path." 
 
 Derrick Grafton came frequently to the rectory 
 after Lamar left, urged thereto by Natalie's tacit 
 encouragement. The American's departure had lifted 
 a weight off his mind, and the relief he felt in his 
 absence, together with Natalie's more complaisant 
 humor toward himself, gave him cause for renewed 
 hopefulness, which reflected itself in his bearing and 
 showed him in a greatly improved light. 
 
 He was far from dreaming that Natalie's tolerance
 
 182 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 of his society arose chiefly from the opportunity she 
 thus acquired of discussing the questions which were 
 so perplexing her. He noted the unusual turn their 
 conversations now took, and was charmed and de- 
 lighted with the interest she evinced in a subject 
 which he considered of such vital importance. 
 
 It was scarcely to be wondered at that he drew a 
 conclusion flattering to his own hopes from this ; and 
 he was so gentle and patient with all her questions 
 and arguments, generally a modified repetition of 
 those advanced by Lamar, that Natalie for the first 
 time in her life found it impossible to quarrel with 
 him, and began to regard the handsome young fellow 
 with real affection and gratitude. 
 
 Lamar had been gone about ten days, when Natalie 
 returned from a ride over to Melbury, one afternoon, 
 with tidings to the effect that Eleanor was to be 
 brought home from London on the following day. 
 Robert was away from home, having gone to make 
 arrangements for his installation in the living with 
 which he had been presented. 
 
 On his return, a couple of days later, he learned 
 that the move had been made, and that Eleanor was 
 settled again at home, having borne the journey well. 
 The next day he felt impelled to ride over to Mel- 
 bury, hoping that fortune would grant him a glimpse
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 183 
 
 of her, but desirous at least of learning from reliable 
 sources just how she was. 
 
 He had neither seen nor spoken to her since that 
 awful day in London, and his heart ached for a sight 
 of her beautiful face. His question regarding Lord 
 Parker had never been authoritatively replied to, and 
 though rumor and even his lordship himself implied 
 that congratulations upon Eleanor's complete restora- 
 tion to health might be joint affairs with those which 
 the announcement of her engagement should call 
 forth, Kobert resolutely gave the report the lie until 
 it should be confirmed by Eleanor's own lips. 
 
 His eyes, whose bright, happy expression had been 
 somewhat clouded ever since that terrible afternoon 
 in London, for the first time lost their shadowy appre- 
 hensiveness, and gladdened into real joyousness, as, 
 unannounced, he entered the comfortable, rather 
 shabby drawing-room at Dunstane Hall, and saw a 
 lounge drawn up to the open window, with a slender, 
 delicately draped figure lying upon it. 
 
 The afternoon had been very warm, and the exer- 
 tion of coming down-stairs had so wearied the invalid 
 that she had fallen into a light doze. There was but 
 one other occupant of the room, Dicky, Eleanor's 
 sixteen-year-old brother, who sat at the head of the 
 couch, waving off the flies with a huge palm-leaf.
 
 184 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Eleanor was the lad's idol ; and though the con- 
 stant, monotonous motion had somewhat fatigued 
 him, he never ceased to ply the fan as regularly as 
 if he had been an automaton. As Robert appeared 
 upon the scene, the boy raised a warning hand, and 
 formed a cautioning hush with his lips. 
 
 Robert's tread, like that of many large men, was 
 naturally light, and, when occasion required, could 
 be noiseless as that of a cat. Now he crossed the 
 room so silently that the sleeper never stirred, and, 
 bending his head in response to Dicky's motion, 
 received the following request : 
 
 " I say, Robert, take my place, will you, a moment ? 
 Georgie's going to ride into town, and I want to tell 
 her to get some tennis-balls ? I won't be long." 
 
 " All right, my lad ! Don't hurry ! " 
 
 Nor did he. Notwithstanding his devotion to 
 Eleanor, the seductions of tennis were potent to 
 tempt him into relinquishing his duty 'into other 
 hands ; and perhaps a consciousness that those hands 
 would be more faithful than his own in fulfilling this 
 special office persuaded him into a desertion that 
 lasted until Robert's appearance reminded him of 
 his neglect. The terrible haggardness of the man's 
 face appealed to the lad's sympathies, and filled him 
 with self-reproach.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 185 
 
 "Oh, I say, Robert!" he exclaimed impulsively, 
 " but you do look horribly done up ! It was a 
 beastly shame in me to keep you shut up in that 
 sweltering room so long. Has Nell been asleep all 
 this time ? " 
 
 Robert shook his head and answered briefly in the 
 negative. Speech was not easy to him just then. 
 He looked worn, harassed, and stern. Dicky felt 
 almost afraid of him, and yet there was that in his 
 face that aroused the boy's sympathy. It seemed 
 as if he had aged ten years since he left him sitting 
 by Eleanor's couch in the darkened drawing-room. 
 
 And as Robert Wyndham rode back to the rectory 
 in the summer gloaming, it seemed to him, too, as if 
 he were a far older, more worldly wise, and a hun- 
 dred-fold more miserable man than he who had 
 traversed the same path an hour or so ago. " Hope 
 deferred maketh the heart sick," but hope denied 
 maketh the heart desperate. 
 
 Such a look of glad welcome, yes, of love, even 
 he could have sworn it to be had come into 
 Eleanor Dunstane's eyes, as, after a few moments' 
 longer slumber, they at last unclosed and rested upon 
 his face, that all the careful restraint he had deter- 
 mined to impose upon himself until she should be 
 wholly recovered, melted into thin air. Her great
 
 186 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 personal loveliness, rendered almost ethereal by suf- 
 fering ; her perfect symmetry of form and feature ; 
 all the sweet, gracious charms of her exquisite 
 beauty had been working their due effect upon him 
 as he sat and watched her in her unconsciousness. 
 
 His heart had grown wild and mutinous with 
 baffled love and longing, and, as she turned her 
 tender, surprised look upon him, his prudent resolves 
 were utterly routed, and with a short, sharp exclama- 
 tion of joy he pushed his chair back and fell on his 
 knees beside the couch, that he might thus bring 
 himself more on a level with her. 
 
 " Eleanor, my darling ! thank God, thank God ! " 
 he cried, gazing eagerly into her eyes, as if to drink 
 his fill of that wonderful love-look that he had 
 surprised in them. 
 
 Not the slightest suggestion of other suitors in- 
 truded itself upon his joy. Report, rumor, gossip, 
 all were done to death by that radiant glance which 
 met his. No word or protestation was needed to 
 convince him whom Eleanor Dunstane would wed. 
 She had given herself to him, he felt, by that one 
 look, and with the assurance bred of its abandon, he 
 bent his head that her lips might add their testimony 
 to that of her eyes. 
 
 But a motion, a mere movement, restrained him.
 
 DOCTOR LAM AIL 187 
 
 A deadly pallor had suddenly whitened Eleanor's 
 face to the very lips, and, as the light faded from 
 her glance, she turned her head gently but decidedly 
 on the pillow, thus negativing his purpose, and 
 bringing a blank look of perplexity to his face. He 
 rose to his feet and accosted her gently and tenderly, 
 as one does a fractious child who is difficult of 
 comprehension. 
 
 " My dear one," he said, " what is it ? Are you 
 tired, or too weak yet to bear the joy that is cours- 
 ing like new wine through my veins ? Are you 
 tired ? Shall I change your pillows ? or are you 
 suffering, perhaps ? " 
 
 She shook her head, paused a moment, and then 
 lifted her hands and drew from one a beautiful ring, 
 composed of three large pearls, and, still without 
 speaking, laid it in his hand. 
 
 For an instant the significance of the bauble did 
 not dawn upon him, and not until he had raised the 
 hoop and read the inscription within its slender 
 band, did he appreciate its vast, terrible meaning; 
 then he dropped it as if it had been some noxious 
 thing, and the little circlet fell with a dull thud to 
 the floor and rolled into a dark corner beneath the 
 couch. The veins stood out on the man's smooth, 
 broad brow as he bent his tall frame low down over
 
 188 DOCTOR LAM AR. 
 
 the girl's prostrate form and looked sternly into her 
 white, quivering face. 
 
 " What does this mean ? " he asked roughly. 
 " You shall not evade a direct reply this time ; once 
 before you did so at the risk of your life, a life 
 which I saved, but which I could almost find it in 
 my heart to wish had been abandoned to its fate 
 rather than to have been preserved to a future of 
 falsehood and unworthiness. Eleanor Dunstane, you 
 love me ; your look a moment ago confessed it, and 
 you belong to me in the sight of God. By what 
 right do you dishonor your love and soil your 
 womanly purity by marrying a man whom you 
 neither love nor respect ? Tell me ; I will know ! " 
 
 She sought the refuge open to all women, and 
 burst into a flood of hysterical tears. She was still 
 weak, and physical suffering had broken her spirit. 
 But Robert was not minded to let her escape thus 
 easily. His pain and despair were too powerful 
 to be vanquished by an emotional subterfuge. 
 
 "Eleanor, I will not leave this house until I have 
 your answer in words. Are you really determined 
 to marry that man ? " 
 
 She sobbed forth a tremulous " Yes." 
 
 " You do it of your own free-will, uninfluenced by 
 the wishes of others ? "
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 189 
 
 She shook her head, and a gleam of hope came 
 into Eobert's face. 
 
 " You do not ? " he cried triumphantly. " I knew 
 it ; I was sure of it ! " 
 
 Once more he knelt at her side, and tenderly drew 
 her hands from her eyes as his voice broke into 
 urgent pleading. 
 
 "It is your aunt who has urged you into this act 
 of unworthiness. Oh, Eleanor ! my darling ! You 
 will riot persist in it and break your heart and my 
 own ! Give me leave to take this ring back to 
 London, and bid Mrs. Mansfield return it to Lord 
 Parker. Will you do this ? Say yes, my beloved." 
 
 A little shudder passed over the girl's figure ; evi- 
 dently a struggle was going on within her. She had 
 ceased weeping, though the traces of tears were still 
 wet on her face. She did not again meet Kobert's 
 eyes, but turned her gaze out of the window upon the 
 terrace, and lay quite still a few moments. The 
 room was utterly silent, so silent that the heavy 
 breathing of the man sounded almost harsh and 
 discordant. 
 
 His eyes never for an instant forsook the pale, 
 lovely face whose profile alone was visible to him. 
 One looking at him would scarcely have recognized 
 jovial, - good-natured Robert Wyndham in the pas-
 
 190 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 sionate, pleading face from which the buoyant 
 youthfulness was momentarily fading, never again 
 to return. 
 
 As Eleanor Dunstane lay there gazing out into the 
 familiar park, it was no peaceful scene of verdant 
 country beauty that her mind rested upon. It was 
 a panorama of past events, of earlier experiences and 
 healthier joys, in all of which Robert. Wyndham 
 had borne a share, that moved with panorama-like 
 rapidity across her mental vision. The whole simple 
 little comedy of her childhood and youth enacted 
 itself before her, with Robert as its hero. 
 
 She rehearsed the scene in which she had pleaded 
 with him to renounce his wish to enter the ministry, 
 and recalled the jealous anger with which she had 
 recognized the fact that his heart acknowledged a 
 higher allegiance than that which she commanded. 
 She remembered her London triumphs, and her 
 pleasure in her social successes ; and though the air 
 was even now vibrating with the passionate tones of 
 the man whom she alone could love as a husband, 
 yet so strong a hold had worldly pleasures gained 
 upon her, that, even in this supreme moment, she 
 placed them, with her own hand, whose grasp, it 
 is true, was trembling and weak with regreb and 
 agitation, in the balance against love.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 191 
 
 Mrs. Mansfield had schooled her well ; the plead- 
 ings of her father and mother had fallen on 
 well-prepared soil ; her natural inclinations for the 
 flesh-pots of Egypt were fortified by the flattering 
 conviction that she was offering herself up as a 
 sacrifice upon the altar of family affection. 
 
 
 
 She had not accepted Lord Parker without a 
 struggle with her better nature, but she had 
 accepted him. The arguments that Eobert was 
 urging were no new view of the case ; she had 
 already presented them to herself, and, having set- 
 tled the matter once for all in her own mind, she 
 was impatient that it should be again offered for her 
 consideration. She had hoped to be spared a per- 
 sonal confession to Kobert of her treasonable con- 
 duct, and his pleadings and reproaches which, 
 alas ! her own heart echoed were terribly hard to 
 bear. For she loved him, and the temptation to 
 throw prudential considerations to the winds, and 
 tell him so, was difficult to combat. 
 
 If he only had not entered the ministry ! There 
 was the great stumbling-block, after all ! For a 
 clergyman's wife she possessed no qualifications. 
 Had Kobert remained in the Foreign Office, proba- 
 bly Lord Parker's suit would have fared badly, for 
 the Wyndham relatives were sufficiently influential
 
 192 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 to have procured his rapid advancement, and Eleanor 
 would have found her ambition very fairly satisfied 
 as his wife. 
 
 The mind, on occasions, works quickly, and a 
 minute amply sufficed for these considerations to 
 pass through Eleanor's brain, followed by the final 
 conclusion that, notwithstanding the pain her con- 
 duct must inflict upon both Robert and herself, 
 her decision must be adhered to. She drew a long 
 sigh a brief requiem to departed desires and 
 turned to Robert. 
 
 "Bob," she said, using her childish nickname for 
 him, " I cannot commission you to return Lord 
 Parker's ring, for I am going to marry him. I have 
 weighed all the consequences of marrying a man 
 whom I do not love, and feel that I have a better 
 chance of happiness as the wife of a man who can 
 give me all the things I care for, than I should have 
 in a sphere for which I am in no wise adapted. As 
 Lady Parker, I shall be a success in the world ; as 
 a clergyman's wife, I should be a dismal failure, if 
 not a positive disgrace. I warned you of this when 
 I begged you not to go into the Church. You chose 
 the ministry in preference to me ; I choose the world 
 in preference to you. We are quits. I did love you, 
 but I am essentially a woman of the world, and 
 should be miserable without its pleasures."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 193 
 
 Her tone had been quite calm and even up to this ; 
 but now, as she noted the hard, stony look that was 
 banishing all the tenderness from Wyndham's face, 
 her voice broke a little, and she stretched forth her 
 hand and caught his with a beseeching gesture. 
 
 " Bob, Bob ! " she cried, with her old, frank man- 
 ner, " don't look so at me, don't ! You have no idea 
 how hard it has been for me to bring myself to toler- 
 ate Lord Parker. Sometimes I almost hate him j 
 but I have promised papa to marry him, and I must 
 do it." 
 
 He had been gazing fixedly at her while she was 
 speaking ; looking, not so much at her beauty of 
 features, as penetrating beneath them to a discovery 
 of the pitiful weakness of her nature. A tide of 
 contempt rushed over him as he listened to her 
 worthless excuses. He saw that further expostula- 
 tion would be useless, comprehending, in the midst 
 of his passionate disappointment, that, even were he 
 able to turn her from her intention and win her 
 for himself, the result would be, as she asserted, 
 miserably unsatisfactory. 
 
 \ 
 
 He had never fully realized before how great an 
 ascendency the world had gained over her. He 
 began to feel that it was another, a different woman 
 from the girl he had loved and grown up with, who
 
 194 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 was speaking to him. Such a one as this he never 
 could have cared for. Such, he never could have 
 sought to make his wife and the mother of his 
 children. He felt that it were a sin against his 
 profession to seek to bind this daughter of Heth to 
 himself. Yet the Outward woman was such a fair* 
 perfect piece of handiwork, that his flesh was almost 
 tempted to sanction the spiritual sacrifice which 
 would win her to him. 
 
 The ringers which even now were throbbing 
 beneath his own ; the lovely eyes which a few 
 moments since had overflowed with love for him ; 
 the sweet, arch mouth, whose lips had but just 
 framed his name in accents which betrayed the 
 actual state of the outraged heart ; all these beset 
 him with tierce temptation. 
 
 Why, after all, should he not yield the point and 
 return to his former profession ? He had not as yet 
 entered upon his new duties ; and certainly the 
 world offered ample opportunities for Christian 
 endeavor, even to a layman. Because he abandoned 
 the ministry, he need not wholly relinquish God's 
 service. The field of sin and sorrow was wide 
 enough to permit the laity to work side by side 
 with the clergy. Every walk in life teems with 
 crime and suffering, and his duty to the Queen need
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 195 
 
 not necessarily preclude his labors in the Lord's 
 vineyard. 
 
 Robert Wyndham's ordeal was a fierce one. His 
 compressed lips, set, stern face and knotted brow 
 bespoke a struggle as of life and death. Beads of 
 moisture gathered on his forehead and dampened his 
 thick brown hair, while his chest rose and fell in 
 labored breathing. One hand still lay clasped in 
 Eleanor's slender fingers, but the other grasped, 
 as in a vise, the back of the chair from which he 
 had rjsen. The agony of his face awoke all the 
 womanliness in Eleanor Dunstane's nature, and for 
 a moment her love for him almost conquered her 
 worldliness. 
 
 By a painful effort she raised herself from the 
 couch, and stood erect before him, still holding his 
 hand. There was a glow on her face that rendered 
 its beauty all the more captivating, and a wistful, 
 pleading expression made her almost irresistible. 
 
 " Robert," she said with all the seductiveness of 
 which she was capable, "you are suffering, and I 
 cannot bear it. See ! I will prove to you that I do 
 return your love. I am willing to meet you half- 
 way in a mutual sacrifice : if you will give up the 
 ministry, I will break my promise to Lord Parker." 
 
 Had she put it differently, she might have won
 
 196 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 him ; but the terms of the contract revolted him. 
 What ! Seek to make a right of two wrongs ! Try 
 to build up a fabric of happiness on a superstructure 
 of falsity to God and man ! The suggestion brought 
 him to his senses. 
 
 The indecision in his face gave way to set purpose ; 
 the wavering, to fixed resolve. It was unlikely, 
 judging from the sternly repellent look he turned 
 on her, that Eleanor Dunstane would ever again 
 cause him to hesitate in his duty. He withdrew 
 his hand from her, and there was some contempt in 
 his tone, as he replied, 
 
 " I thank you for your offer. I suppose it seems 
 a fair, even a generous, one to you; but in my sight 
 the value of the respective sacrifices is hardly com- 
 parable. I must decline to be a partner in the 
 transaction. Good-by." 
 
 He turned abruptly away, traversed the long room 
 with a tread far heavier than that with which he had 
 entered, and left the house. 
 
 Behind him was a sound of low, broken sobs; the 
 regretful, self-pitying emotion of a woman who had 
 sold her birthright of love and happiness for a mess 
 of the veriest pottage.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 197 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 AT about the same hour that Robert Wyndliam 
 was entering the park gates of Dunstane Hall, 
 Derrick Grafton was striding through the village 
 on his way to the rectory. 
 
 He had been very busy of late with parish affairs, 
 for the rector had been ailing a little, not really 
 ill, but weak and languid, and Rhea's time, since 
 her return, had been fully occupied with setting her 
 rather neglected household to rights, thus almost 
 the entire care of the parish had devolved upon him. 
 
 He was really a clever, good-natured young fellow, 
 the " Reverend Derrick," as Lamar called him ; quite 
 harmless and amiable, if no one trenched upon his 
 preserves, but with an unfortunate disposition to 
 consider that desire constitutes a claim, and that 
 what he set his heart upon attaining, no one else 
 had a right to aspire to. His nature was decidedly 
 an illiberal one ; his mind narrow, and intolerant of 
 disputation, and the Athanasian Creed owed its 
 firmest support, in his eyes, to the fact that he. 
 Derrick Grafton, accredited it.
 
 198 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 There could be no virtue in anything which did 
 not receive the sanction of his approval ; and his 
 Christian charity was limited to those who wor- 
 shipped God after the fashion prescribed by the 
 Thirty-nine Articles. Yet, though his Christianity 
 was of the waistcoat pattern, the young curate was 
 an earnest and devoted disciple of his profession. 
 His whole heart except that portion of it conse- 
 crated to Natalie Wyndham's service was in his 
 work, and no personal consideration ever induced 
 him to shirk a duty or neglect a call. 
 
 Mr. Wyndham had done his utmost to widen the 
 young fellow's mental and moral horizon, but the task 
 had been a difficult and discouraging one. Perhaps 
 Natalie effected wider results by one of her indignant, 
 downright speeches than her father could accomplish 
 by long hours of gentle exhortation and reproof. 
 
 This afternoon Grafton had taken a holiday, and 
 was on his way to spend it in the pleasantest manner 
 he could imagine : which was by taking tea at the 
 rectory. He had a special aim in view, and his hand- 
 some face wore an important, self-satisfied expression. 
 For he had heard from Rockwood, and the letter 
 lying in his pocket had more than confirmed his sus- 
 picions of Lamar. Can there be a more righteous 
 enjoyment to a Christian soul than to aid in the over-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 199 
 
 throw of an enemy of the Lord ? especially when 
 that enemy threatens to prove himself one's own ? 
 
 Filled with the satisfaction born of his own clever 
 perspicacity, and exulting in his success in having 
 proved Lamar unfit to become the husband of a clergy- 
 man's daughter, Grafton swung along at a good pace 
 until he reached the rectory gates. Passing through 
 these, he traversed the gravelled drive and gained the 
 open door open doors in summer-time were a fashion 
 at Fordham. As no response came to his knock, he 
 entered with the familiarity of close acquaintance, 
 and passed through the little hallway into the pleas- 
 ant sitting-room. 
 
 This, too, was deserted, but the distant sound of 
 voices apprised him that the garden was tenanted ; 
 and, as he stepped out through the long, glass doors, a 
 charming picture of domestic comfort greeted his 
 eyes. 
 
 The tea-table had been carried out,- and placed 
 beneath a wide-spreading apple-tree ; and grouped 
 about it were the rector and his two daughters, Rhea 
 seated at the hissing urn, and Natalie stretched in a 
 less dignified position on a rug at her father's feet, 
 with his knees for aback. Grafton received a cordial 
 greeting from them all. 
 
 " You come very apropos" said Rhea, holding out
 
 200 DOCTOR LAM AH. 
 
 a cup to him, " for I was just wishing for a Ganymede 
 to carry this nectar to that lazy little goddess there." 
 - Grafton performed the required service, and, as she 
 took the cup from him, Natalie burst into a little cry 
 of exultation. 
 
 " Oh, papa, papa ! " she cried, " I am so glad you 
 did not get this cup ! for look ! " and she held up 
 a long, black tea-ground that had been floating on the 
 surface "you would have gotten my lover. What 
 a splendid fellow ! tall and very soon to appear. See ! " 
 She had tested the ground with her small, white teeth, 
 and it now lay broken in twain in dark contrast to her 
 snowy palm. 
 
 The rector laughed with pretended scorn. 
 
 "A lover! You!" he exclaimed; "pray what 
 would a baby, such as you, do with a lover ? Harness 
 him to a cart and play horse with him, or set him at 
 playing dolls ? " 
 
 The girl made believe pout. 
 
 " Pooh ! " she said ; " you never will believe I am 
 grown up, papa. I am sure I am going to have a real 
 experience now, and perhaps that will convince you. 
 Derrick," she continued with assumed anxiety, "have 
 you heard of any new arrivals at the village inn ? 
 Have you chanced to meet a lovely, tall, dark young 
 man wandering aimlessly about the country roads,
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 201 
 
 with a yearning, no-one-to-love-me expression in his 
 beautiful eyes ? no, orbs, I should say they never 
 have eyes, you know, but orbs." 
 
 The tea-equipage had been carried away, and the 
 parish affairs thoroughly discussed before Grafton 
 permitted himself the triumph of his disclosure. He 
 had managed to introduce Lamar's name into the con- 
 versation, in order that his revelation might transpire 
 naturally. The subject was a pleasant one to the 
 rector, and always awoke his enthusiasm. 
 
 "A delightful fellow!" he remarked now. "A 
 charming, cultivated, and able man ; one whom it is 
 a real pleasure to honor. I miss him sadly. Has 
 Robert any news of him, Rhea ? " 
 
 " Yes, he heard only yesterday. Their Heidelberg 
 trip has been abandoned because Dr. Lamar has 
 received letters urging his return to America." 
 
 " What ! We may not expect another visit from him, 
 then ? Dear, dear ! this is a serious disappointment to 
 me, Rhea ; for aside from a desire to entertain him 
 again as a guest, I wished very much to consult him as 
 a physician." 
 
 Rhea's brow contracted anxiously. 
 
 " Papa, you do not feel alarmed about yourself ? " 
 she asked solicitously, while Natalie started and 
 looked apprehensively into the gentle, peaceful, old
 
 202 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 face, which smiled back at both girls, gayly and reas- 
 suringly. "Alarmed! No, no," he said, and patted 
 the small hand which had stolen up to seek his own. 
 " Nothing of the kind, my careful Martha and tender 
 Mary ; it is only a subterfuge. I really would like to 
 get Lamar back for sociability's sake." 
 
 Derrick Grafton had been standing, leaning against 
 the gnarled trunk of the apple-tree ; now he took a 
 step forward, and drew an envelope from his breast. 
 
 " Perhaps your regret will be lessened by a fact 
 regarding your late guest, which I have recently 
 learned," he said, while the pleasant frankness van- 
 ished from his boyish face, and a look of malicious 
 satisfaction crept into his eyes ; " for it stamps him as 
 unworthy your hospitality and unfitted to be the 
 guest of a Christian minister." 
 
 There was genuine surprise on the faces of two of 
 his listeners as he spoke; there was apprehension, 
 dismay, and consternation, yes, and anger, too, on 
 that of the third. 
 
 It seemed as if an iron hand were clutching Nata- 
 lie's heart. She sprang to her feet and stood, with 
 white face and trembling frame, confronting the 
 curate. 
 
 " Take care what you say, Derrick," she said warn- 
 ingly. " Remember that you are speaking of Robert's
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 203 
 
 dearest friend, and my father's guest. You have ill- 
 chosen a place to slander Dr. Lamar." 
 
 " Tut, tut, Natalie ! " remonstrated her father. " You 
 are forgetting yourself, little one. What's this you 
 are saying, Derrick ? You are bringing grave charges 
 against a man who is not here to defend himself." 
 
 " Nor could he do it, if he were here, nor would he ! " 
 the young fellow cried, exasperated by Natalie's inter- 
 est in Lamar. " He glories in his atheism. For that's 
 what he is, Mr. Wyndham, an atheist, and this letter 
 in my hand will prove it." 
 
 " What is the letter ? " the rector asked calmly, 
 while Natalie's habitual deference to her father's 
 wishes alone restrained her from another outburst, and 
 Rhea looked pained and perplexed. 
 
 " From an American friend of mine, Lawrence 
 Rockwood, who was also a cousin of Dr. Lamar's wife. 
 This is what he says: 'You ask me if I have ever 
 heard of a Dr. Lamar in New York. Well, rather ! 
 Had I not known him personally as the husband of 
 my cousin, Laura Rockwood, who is now dead, I 
 could not very well have failed to know him by repu- 
 tation. He is not only one of our most skilful phy- 
 sicians, but he has attained quite a wide celebrity as 
 an agnostic. He is one of the most prominent mem- 
 bers of the Advance Club, a brilliant debater, and
 
 204 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 rather a dangerous foe to your profession. But for 
 all that he is ' Oh, that is all, the rest is nothing ! " 
 
 " The rest is a good deal," Natalie interrupted with 
 blazing eyes and passionate voice, for her heart was 
 throbbing so violently that she could no longer control 
 herself. " It is a very great deal, Mr. Graf ton, and 
 we will not be cheated out of it. Give me the letter ! " 
 She almost snatched it from him as he reluctantly 
 held it forth. 
 
 "'For all that,'" she read, "'he is a splendid 
 fellow, a man of enviable reputation ; with a big 
 heart always ready to help the suffering and needy ; 
 a true friend and excellent adviser, as I have had 
 good occasion to prove ; in a word, an agnostic who 
 might be a shining example to many so-called Chris- 
 tians.' Your friend offers you a well-directed hint, 
 Derrick Grafton ; and you would do well to profit by 
 it. For if there be anything in the world calculated 
 to bring God's service into discredit and ill-repute, it 
 is the wretched narrowness of such as you among its 
 ministers. Dr. Lamar may be an agnostic, an atheist, 
 yes, even a heathen, if you will ; but the true spirit of 
 Christ is far more splendidly manifest in his wide, 
 generous nature than in your pitifully contracted 
 character. For my part, I would much rather the 
 world were composed of such noble atheists as he,
 
 DOCTOR LAM AH. 205 
 
 than of such illiberal, pharisaical Christians as 
 you ! " 
 
 As she broke off, with almost a sob of excitement, 
 a crackling of the gravel behind them warned the 
 little group that some one was intruding upon their 
 privacy. As involuntarily all eyes turned in the 
 direction of the sound, the identification of the in- 
 truder aroused various emotions among them. It was 
 none other than Lamar himself. 
 
 His grave, stern features were softened by some 
 strong, tender feeling, and his gray eyes gleamed 
 with a rare look of happiness. He came directly 
 toward Natalie, and bared his head ; then, extending 
 his hand, he grasped the slim, trembling fingers of 
 the girl, and held them in an almost painful clasp, 
 Avhile his gaze fell warmly upon the timid, blushing 
 face, affrighted by its own words. 
 
 "Miss Natalie," he said gravely, "it is seldom that 
 a listener receives such magnificent recompense as I. 
 Will you believe that I am profoundly grateful for 
 your cordial defence of me ? " 
 
 For a moment it seemed to the two that they were 
 as alone beneath the summer sky as Adam and Eve in 
 the garden of Paradise. Forgetful of all but them- 
 selves, they stood with kindling souls and throbbing 
 pulses gazing into each other's very hearts ; then he 
 let go her hand, and turned to the rector.
 
 206 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 " Mr. Wyndham," he said, " the charge against me 
 is quite correct. I plead guilty, but recommend 
 myself to mercy. It is scarcely manly to seek to 
 shelter one's self behind another's back, but I am so 
 unwilling that you should think I stole into your 
 home under false pretences, that I am urged to offer 
 Robert's advice and expressed desire as my excuse. 
 He has always been aware of my sceptical views, and 
 especially requested that I should not mention them 
 at Fordham, unless occasion actually demanded that 
 I should do so. If you regard my conduct in the 
 matter as dishonorable, as it seems to have appeared 
 to Mr. Grafton, I have to beg your pardon, and 
 express my sorrow that I should have so offended ; 
 though I cannot regret a course of action whose 
 results have caused me, for the first time, to feel 
 sorrow for my agnosticism, and which have somewhat 
 shaken the strength of my sceptical convictions. 
 My silence was due to no false shame at my position, 
 and Mr. Grafton had no need to write to America for 
 information regarding me. If he had but suggested 
 a desire to know my life-history, he should have been 
 instructed in it to its smallest details, for the life of 
 an agnostic need be no less pure than that of a Chris- 
 tian, and I have nothing to conceal in mine. My 
 atheism was revealed to Miss Natalie at the slightest
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 207 
 
 hint on her part, and her sweet charity was proof 
 against a test which seems to have shrivelled up that 
 of your curate." 
 
 He paused, and his vigorous, manly words seemed 
 to covet Derrick Graf ton with confusion. Never 
 before had he appeared to himself in so small and 
 pitiful a light. Dr. Lamar's simple and open avowal 
 showed up his own conduct in a mean and contempti- 
 ble aspect. His blue eyes fell before the stern, 
 candid gaze of the American, and his fair English 
 face grew red and confused with shame. Still, his 
 conceit in himself as a disciple of the Church would 
 not permit him, yet, to acknowledge his cowardly 
 conduct toward an unbeliever. He made an effort to 
 reinstate himself in the good graces of his own con- 
 science, as well as to excuse himself to the rector, by 
 saying, 
 
 " It is all very well for you to say that now, Dr. 
 Lamar, but if I had put the slightest question to you 
 regarding your pas.t life, you know very well you 
 would have resented it as an impertinence, and have 
 bidden me mind my own business. I had no other 
 way of finding out about you." 
 
 His stammered excuse was a very lame one, and he 
 felt it, even before the rector replied, gently but 
 reprovingly,
 
 208 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 " And what need had you, pray, to concern your- 
 self about the character or standing of my guest, 
 Derrick ? Did you deem Robert incapable of dis- 
 crimination as to what mariner of man was fit for 
 entertainment beneath my roof ? Did you think me 
 too old and feeble to form a just estimate of a man's 
 worth and integrity ? No, no, my lad ; you have 
 erred strangely. I would not have thought it of you, 
 Derrick. You have been urged by some selfish motive 
 to commit an indiscretion quite unworthy an English 
 gentleman or a Christian clergyman." 
 
 The rector's reproof struck well home, and Lamar 
 felt sorry for the young fellow's evident discomfiture. 
 As for E-hea, her kind heart was moved to the curate's 
 defence, even while she deprecated his conduct. 
 
 "Oh, papa!" she said, "are you nbt just a little 
 hard on Derrick ? Of course he ought not to have 
 done what he did, but surely, we who know him so 
 well, must feel convinced he acted only from the best 
 of motives." 
 
 The rector looked his curate fully in the face. 
 
 " I will leave it to himself," he said quietly. " God 
 forbid that I should misjudge one of whom I am as 
 fond as if he were my son. Derrick, my lad, you 
 shall be your own judge : Was your motive in writing 
 your friend a worthy one or not ? "
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 209 
 
 The red flush on the curate's face turned to crimson. 
 A fierce struggle was going on in his breast between 
 self-love and that diviner influence that had led him 
 to choose God's work as his life-labor. The conflict 
 lasted but a second, but its evident intensity was 
 sufficient to make the brief instant one of suspense 
 to all. Then the better nature triumphed. With a 
 mixture of frank honesty and deep mortification he 
 turned to Lamar. 
 
 " Mr. Wyndham is right, sir," he said ; " I have 
 done a low, owardly thing, and I am ashamed of it. 
 I cannot even take advantage of Miss Wyndham's 
 suggestion, and plead a worthy motive. I was urged 
 to what I did by mere selfish jealousy ; there is no 
 need of my trying to conceal the reason. I think my 
 love for Natalie is no secret to any one. But I have 
 to beg your pardon for my conduct, and ask you to 
 forget it, if you can do so." 
 
 Lamar's heart warmed to the lad. 
 
 "I assure you I shall never again think of the 
 matter," he said, extending his hand. 
 
 Grafton took it and held it a moment, then, raising 
 his hat to the others, he murmured some excuse for 
 withdrawing, passed in through the open windows, 
 and disappeared from view. 
 
 A terrible shadow fell on Fordham rectory during
 
 210 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 that night : a shadow which made all other consider- 
 ations, even that of Robert's broken heart, seem petty 
 and trivial. 
 
 They had all noticed Eobert's changed expression 
 when he returned from Dunstaue Hall, but, as they 
 divined its cause pretty accurately, no one made 
 allusion to it save Rhea. Her sympathetic, sisterly 
 heart absolutely forbade her pretending indifference ; 
 and after Kobert had gone up to make some altera- 
 tions in his dress for dinner, she went and tapped 
 softly at his door. 
 
 She was alarmed as she entered, without awaiting a 
 response to her knock, and saw the suffering, haggard 
 face that was lifted to hers. A moment since it had 
 been buried upon the folded arms which rested on 
 the small table, beside which he was sitting. 
 
 "Oh, Rhea! It is you," he said with a sigh of 
 relief. 
 
 She went and knelt beside him, laying her arm 
 about his neck, and looking into his face with her 
 whole great, loving heart in her eyes. For a moment 
 he bore her searching gaze bravely, then his eyes fell, 
 his breast worked, and great heavy sobs burst from 
 him as he dropped his face again upon his arms, and 
 gave himself up to a storm of emotion. 
 
 The snapping of his tense self-control relieved him
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 211 
 
 somewhat, but as Ehea listened to the sad, unhappy 
 story he poured into her sympathetic ears, she was 
 shocked and troubled to note the bitterness with 
 which he mentioned Eleanor's name; and it surprised 
 and distressed her to see how rebellious he was 
 beneath this stroke, how harsh and fierce was his 
 judgment of her who had sinned against him, how 
 vindictive his attitude toward those who had encour- 
 aged her in her unworthy conduct, and how unavail- 
 ing were the ministrations of his beloved religion. 
 
 It seemed that this incontrovertible proof of 
 Eleanor's worldliness had soured his sweet charity, 
 had darkened his sunny optimism, and hardened his 
 gentle heart. She scarcely recognized her own bright, 
 lovable, and tender-natured brother in this malevo- 
 lent and revengeful lover. She did all in her power 
 to soften his judgment of Eleanor Dunstane. She 
 argued, expostulated, and sought to excuse the girl ; 
 urging, in extenuation of her decision, the influences 
 to which she had been subjected, and the pressure of 
 family necessity. She knelt by his side for half an 
 hour, trying to comfort and console him ; but at the 
 end of that time, she rose to her feet, sadly dis- 
 couraged by the abortiveness of her attempts. 
 
 His love for Eleanor seemed to have turned to a 
 gall that permeated his entire being. No excuse was
 
 212 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 permissible, lie asseverated, for the prostitution of her 
 love. " A woman who tries to sanctify her lust for 
 gold by shielding herself from public censure behind 
 the marriage ceremony is no better in the sight of 
 God, no, nor one-half as justifiable, as she who seeks 
 to win the necessities of life by the illegal sale of 
 her personal charms," he declared. His condemna- 
 tion knew no compromise. His first burst of weak- 
 ness was soon controlled, and he discussed the affair 
 in a cold, stony manner that almost frightened 
 Ehea. 
 
 She hastened her toilet, and hurried down-stairs, 
 hoping to find Lamar somewhere about, as she was 
 aware of his influence with Robert, and wanted to 
 turn it into the most beneficial channels. 
 
 He was standing by the glass doors, looking out 
 into the garden, and smiled a little sadly as she came 
 up the room to him. 
 
 "I was taking a silent farewell of Miss Natalie's 
 garden," he said, "and wondering when I should see 
 it again ; for I mean to come back some day, Miss 
 Wyndham, if I may ? " 
 
 R-hea gave a most hospitable assent to this desire, 
 and then coming a little nearer, and lowering her 
 voice a little, continued, 
 
 "Dr. Lamar, I have hurried down to have a word
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 213 
 
 with you about Kobert. You must have noticed how 
 badly he is looking ? " 
 
 Dr. Lamar nodded gravely. 
 
 "Well, he has had a terrible disappointment. 
 Eleanor Dunstane has refused him in order to marry 
 Lord Parker. It has had a very sad effect upon 
 Robert, and has changed him more than I could have 
 believed possible ; it seems to have embittered his 
 whole nature. I thought he might speak of it to you 
 to-night ; if he does, may I depend on you to do your 
 utmost to soften his view of the case ? Do not side 
 with him against Eleanor ; and say what you can in 
 palliation of her offence. I acknowledge how badly 
 she has acted by Robert, and I am afraid my feelings 
 toward her are rather unchristianlike at present ; but 
 I cannot have the conduct of a weak, frivolous girl 
 warp my dear boy's beautiful nature, and I look to 
 you to help me in giving his thoughts a more health- 
 ful direction." 
 
 Philip Lamar felt a genuine affection and admira- 
 tion for this plain, big-hearted, and unselfish woman. 
 Her active benevolence and practical Christianity 
 appealed to his own views of the noblest uses of life, 
 and he felt an almost fraternal attachment to her, 
 and a profound regret for the suffering which he 
 knew she must very soon be called upon to bear.
 
 214 DOCTOR LAM A It. 
 
 For he had been startled by the alteration which 
 had taken place in the rector during his short 
 absence, an alteration which signified a rapid and 
 incurable decay of the vital functions, and which 
 proved the swift encroachments of a disease whose* 
 symptoms had been manifest to the physician's keen 
 glance the moment it had fallen on the placid, gentle, 
 old man. He felt that the stroke might fall at any 
 time, and that Khea ought to be prepared ; and this 
 task of preparation must be his, now that Robert 
 had so great a burden of his own to bear. 
 
 How would she endure it, he wondered, knowing 
 how profound was her love for her father. He re- 
 membered how terrible had been a similar blow to 
 his wife, and how her unbelief had plunged her into 
 the dark depths of despair. Would Khea Wyndham's 
 faith save her from the same gloomy grief ? 
 
 He replied to her solicitude with the kindest assur- 
 ances, and expressed great sympathy for Robert. 
 
 " Miss Wyndham," he asked, " why should such a 
 good fellow as Robert have to go through such a fiery 
 furnace of suffering ? Is not your faith in a Divine 
 director ever shaken when you see instances of un- 
 merited affliction ; when you see the innocent suffer- 
 ing for the guilty, and the misery of life so unevenly 
 distributed ? "
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 215 
 
 Ehea shook her head decidedly. 
 
 "Never!" she said. "I believe there must be a 
 period of probation and purification for all souls 
 before they enter into the joys of Paradise. Happy 
 are they, indeed, whose purging comes in this life ; 
 for if they bear it worthily, and come out from it 
 witli strong, serene spirit, so much more immediate is 
 their entry into the divine glory. Dr. Lamar, I do not 
 regard a tranquil, untroubled life with envy. Very 
 few are proof against the risk it involves of narrow- 
 ness and selfishness. Suffering to me is not a thing 
 to be shunned and avoided ; rather, I consider it a 
 test to be nobly endured, a trial sent through the 
 very tenderness and love of God to prove our worthi- 
 ness for a higher life." 
 
 She was so evidently sincere in her speech, her 
 bearing was so calm and assured, that Lamar felt 
 impelled to seize the present moment to warn her 
 of her father's danger. 
 
 "Miss Wyndham," he said gravely, "yours is a 
 beautiful faith ; I would it were mine. You have 
 given me courage to broach a subject which I wish 
 might demand no words. It is of your father's 
 health. Has he been ailing much since I left 
 Fordham ? " 
 
 Rhea's face grew very serious, but her brow was 
 still serene as she replied,
 
 216 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 " You notice a change in him ? Yes, he is failing; 
 I can see it every day. You do not apprehend any 
 immediate danger to his life ? " 
 
 "I cannot say; any affection of the heart may 
 terminate suddenly. I think it would be well to 
 prepare him." 
 
 A sad little smile of filial pride curved her lips as 
 she gently shook her head. 
 
 "He needs no preparation," she said with fond 
 assurance. " His house is always set in order. Be- 
 sides, Dr. Lamar, he is not blind to his own con- 
 dition. He has talked with me a good deal lately 
 of death, and I know that it has no terrors for him. 
 The dear father ! " 
 
 Lamar marvelled at her tranquillity and composure. 
 Evidently, then, her faith was a staff in time of 
 trouble, a very present help in time of need. The 
 tears were in her eyes, but on her face was a gentle 
 radiance like that of the sun shining amid a soft- 
 falling shower. 
 
 Lamar was impressed with her calm trust and 
 serene conduct. Here was a marked example of 
 the practical use and assistance to which that sweet 
 old mystical belief might be put. Here was a strong, 
 loving nature contemplating the death of the dearest 
 object of its affection with a peaceful resignation,
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 217 
 
 born of the certainty of reunion beyond the grave. 
 Involuntarily he compared Rhea Wyndham's calm 
 acceptability of the divine decree with his wife's 
 despairing protest against an eternal separation, and 
 was forced to yield assent to the worth of a spiritual 
 belief in time of affliction. 
 
 Throughout dinner Lamar watched the rector care- 
 fully. The kind, gentle old features bore evidences 
 of the excitement he had undergone in the afternoon. 
 An unusual pallor lay upon his face, and a pinched 
 expression about the nostrils bred apprehension in 
 the physician's mind. 
 
 After dinner Mr. Wyndham withdrew at once to 
 his study, whither Lamar followed him, at his 
 request. 
 
 "Dr. Lamar," he said as soon as they were both 
 seated, "you will pardon my taking you away from 
 the young people on this, the last night you will 
 be with them," Lamar had run down to Fordham 
 to spend the night which intervened between his 
 arrival in London and the sailing of the homeward- 
 bound steamer, "but I am selfish enough to desire 
 to claim a little of your time and advice. It is not 
 necessary for me to tell one of your professional 
 acumen that I am the victim of an incurable malady, 
 and doubtless you have observed, what I am so well
 
 218 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 aware of myself, that I am failing day by day. I 
 am ready and willing to go whenever my Maker 
 calls me; and the "prospect of meeting my dear ones 
 who have gone before fills me with joy and almost 
 eagerness. The separation from my children causes 
 me some natural sadness, as the thought of your 
 departure to-morrow causes you, I hope, a little 
 regret; but you will return here, I trust, some day. 
 You will pardon an old man whose love for his 
 child leads him to believe that she has wrought 
 in your heart a determination to .one day return, to 
 England and to her?" He paused, and held 
 out his hand to Lamar. The latter grasped it with 
 a firm, eager pressure that answered the rector's 
 supposition, and the old man went on : " I thought 
 so ; love makes us clairvoyant, my dear sir. Well, 
 I wish you Godspeed, my friend. Your views are, 
 I frankly admit, a matter of regret to me. I would 
 not voluntarily have subjected my little girl to the 
 influence of an atheist, but I leave the affair in God's 
 hands. He has brought you together for some wise 
 purpose; and if as it seems to me probable 
 Natalie loves you, man has no right to seek to 
 thwart His plans. I fear no danger to her from 
 contact with your irreligion ; I believe her faith to 
 be too inherent a part of her being to be vanquished
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 219 
 
 by the contagion. It may be through her pure 
 influence that your soul is to be redeemed from 
 the sad darkness in which it now lies shrouded ; 
 and, if so, God forbid that I should seek to deprive 
 her of her glorious privilege of winning a soul, and 
 such a soul, to Him. Dr. Lamar, I like you, and I 
 am willing to trust my child's happiness in your 
 hands. It is a precious charge, and you will pardon 
 my bidding you guard it well. May God, the Infinite 
 Father, have you both in His tender keeping ! " 
 
 As he stopped, Dr. Lamar leaned forward, and 
 again wrung the slender, withered hand warmly. 
 
 "Mr. Wyndham," he said in a deep, earnest tone 
 which signified profound feeling, " I shall never for- 
 get your kindness to me. If there be a God, as 
 indeed your charity would almost convince me, you 
 and your children have done Him good service by 
 your trust in me ; for it is beneath your roof that I 
 have, for the first time, encountered a practical exer- 
 cise of that Christian tolerance which your Bible pre- 
 scribes as the underlying principle of your religion. 
 Hitherto Christianity and moral conceit have been 
 synonymous terms with me, and the abhorrence 
 and contempt manifested by your young curate 
 well portray the attitude generally maintained by 
 the disciples of your Christ toward those who dare
 
 220 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 honestly to confess the doubts which must of neces- 
 sity at times trouble every intelligent soul. The 
 splendid breadth of mind you have shown, in being 
 willing to intrust your dearest possession to my 
 care, fills me with wonder, and shakes somewhat 
 rudely my preconceived ideas. But, sir, if I am 
 able to win your daughter, and of such good 
 fortune, I confess, I am very doubtful, if I can 
 gain her love, you may rest assured that she shall 
 be as safe in my hands as in your own." 
 
 The subject ended with Lamar's words, and then 
 followed a discussion of Mr. Wyndham's symptoms. 
 Lamar made a careful diagnosis of his case, wrote 
 a prescription for a heart tonic, and gave the rector 
 certain directions as to the proper regimen to be 
 pursued. Then, noting how weary and exhausted 
 his host looked, he rose to take leave of him, advis- 
 ing him to retire as soon as possible. 
 
 As they stood a moment together at the door, the 
 old rector again stretched forth his hand. 
 
 " G-ood-by, my dear boy, good-by ! " he said with 
 a little wistful look in his eyes ; " I thank you for 
 all your kindness to me. You have my blessing, 
 remember, and may God the Father, whom some 
 day I feel convinced you will feel to be your own 
 loving Parent, sanctify it to you."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 221 
 
 It went hard with Lamar not to seek Natalie then, 
 at once, and put his fate to the touch. The girl's 
 warm defence of him had moved him greatly; but 
 it also seemed to have had its effect upon her, for 
 she avoided him in an altogether novel fashion. She 
 kept close to Rhea, and was careful not to be alone 
 with him an instant. When she could not escape 
 replying to a direct question from him, she answered 
 with a confusion of manner, a shy self-consciousness, 
 altogether new and strange. 
 
 Yet, even had there been opportunity for confess- 
 ing the passion that had taken complete possession 
 of him, drawing him, as with a magnetic attraction, 
 a hundred miles out of his homeward way, merely 
 to look again upon a sweet, girlish face, even then, 
 fortified by the knowledge of her father's full 
 consent, Lamar would have resisted the impulse 
 which tempted him. Reverence for his dead wife 
 was strong within him, and his respect for her 
 memory was far too profound to permit him to 
 appear careless of it in the eyes of a carping 
 world. 
 
 The eVening passed quietly. Lamar had no oppor- 
 tunity to use his influence with Robert, for the latter 
 favored him with no confidences. The cigars which 
 were usually smoked after the ladies had retired,
 
 222 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 remained that night unlighted ; Kobert excusing 
 himself on the plea of a severe headache. 
 
 In the silent watches of the night a shadow, which 
 the morning sun failed to dissipate, fell on the rec- 
 tory. Azrael stole softly into the peaceful dwelling, 
 and smoothed with gentle touch the aged features 
 of the rector, stroking them into such calm beauty 
 that Rhea, who first discovered the presence of the 
 death-angel, had no impulse to cry out in surprise 
 being loath to disturb in any way the atmosphere of 
 tranquillity that surrounded the placid sleeper. 
 
 Natalie alone of all the little family group had 
 been unsuspectful of the coming cloud, and her grief 
 smote Larnar's very soul. For the first time sorrow 
 had laid its weight upon her, and she shrank from 
 its burden. Her mourning was passionate and in- 
 tense, and she found but little comfort in the thought 
 which was of so vast consolation to Ehea that of 
 a future reunion. 
 
 " I want him now, now ! " she cried, when Rhea 
 tried to urge this certainty upon her. "How can 
 I live thirty, forty, perhaps fifty, years without him ? 
 Oh, papa, papa ! " 
 
 Rhea was a little shocked by the rebelliousness 
 to God's will which Natalie manifested in her grief. 
 In joy the girl had been so sweet and pliable that
 
 DOCTOR LAMAIi. 223 
 
 she had expected to see her yield sadly, but obedi- 
 ently, to affliction ; but this first trial, on the con- 
 trary, seemed to render her fierce and mutinous. As 
 in Robert's case, trouble and suffering apparently 
 embittered rather than softened her; and she shut 
 herself up in her father's study, the room which 
 of all the house was especially consecrated by his 
 presence, and spent the morning in the very aban- 
 donment of grief. 
 
 Lamar was of valuable assistance to the afflicted 
 household, but, even his great desire to pay the last 
 tribute of respect and affection to the old man who 
 had been so good a friend to him, was forced to 
 yield to the imperative necessity of returning to 
 New York. He was to take an early afternoon train 
 from Fordham, and parted from Robert and Rhea 
 reluctantly and with deep regret. 
 
 "You know I would not leave just now, were it 
 not imperative that I should catch this steamer," 
 he said, as Rhea and he were standing together in 
 the sitting-room a few moments before he left. 
 
 She nodded an assent. Her heart was too full 
 to permit of a firm control of her voice. She also 
 had come to recognize the fact of Lamar's love for 
 Natalie, and, feeling that no woman could long 
 remain indifferent to the passion of such as he,
 
 224 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 she had made the child a willing sacrifice of her 
 own heart. Nevertheless, it was hard to part from 
 Lainar, especially hard now that the loss of its 
 master had rendered the rectory sad and desolate. 
 
 Lamar waited a moment, and then a red flush 
 crept over his skin. It seemed to him no time to 
 obtrude his own affairs upon this suffering woman's 
 heart ; yet he felt he could not go without one more 
 glimpse of Natalie's beloved face. 
 
 " Miss Wyndham," he said somewhat hesitatingly, 
 " my intention is to return in a few months ; I 
 have your father's permission to do so. You 
 understand ? " 
 
 Again Rhea nodded and placed her broad, un- 
 shapely hand in his. 
 
 " May I see her once more before I go ? " 
 
 Rhea assented. " She is in the study still, I 
 think," she said.- "Will you go to her there, or 
 shall I try to induce her to come here ? " 
 
 " No ; I will go to her." 
 
 The bright, cheerful sunlight had been shut out 
 from the house of mourning, and it was into a 
 darkened room that Lamar penetrated, as, after 
 waiting in vain for a response to his low knock, 
 he opened the door and entered. The room was 
 utterly still, and for a moment Lamar thought it
 
 DOCTOR LAM Alt. 225 
 
 untenanted. But suddenly, from an obscure corner, 
 there came a sadly pathetic little sound : a soft, 
 sobbing breath such as a slumbering child is wont 
 to draw after a fit of weeping. 
 
 With hushed tread Lamar went forward and dis- 
 covered a low, chintz-covered couch, and on it 
 Natalie sound asleep, with tears still wet upon her 
 cheeks. Her hair was rough and disordered, her 
 face pale, and in her clasped hands a well-moistened 
 handkerchief bore token of the grief which had 
 dampened it. 
 
 Lamar stood fully five minutes gazing sadly, ten- 
 derly at her. His great heart ached to comfort and 
 console her poor little suffering soul. There was 
 a mighty desire within him to stoop and gather 
 her into his strong arms, and make her forget her 
 sorrow through the ministration of his love. 
 
 Perhaps it had been better for both had he fol- 
 lowed the promptings of his heart ; but the conven- 
 tionalities of life have a strong hold upon us all, 
 and so he curbed his wishes out of honor to the 
 dead, and was fain to content himself with optimistic 
 promises for the future. Finally he stooped and 
 drew the crumpled handkerchief from her clasp, 
 putting in its place a trifle that she had often 
 admired, a heavy antique seal, with his crest and
 
 226 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 motto cut upon it ; an ornament which he had been 
 wont to wear upon his watch-chain. An inappro- 
 priate offering to a lady, but the only thing he 
 had about him to leave her as a souvenir. 
 
 As her soft fingers closed about it, she moved a 
 little and murmured something, but her exhaustion 
 was too great to permit of her awaking. 
 
 Lamar waited a moment longer, then, bending his 
 head, he touched with gentle lips the intertwined 
 fingers, and with careful step withdrew from the 
 room. Within ten minutes he was on his way to 
 Liverpool.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 227 
 
 CHAPTER XII. 
 
 A YEAR rolled swiftly away after the death of the 
 good old rector of Fordham before Lamar could 
 cany out his intention of returning to England. If 
 we could but master the minor accidents of life, its 
 larger events might adjust themselves more readily 
 to our desire. 
 
 So, had not all sorts of contrarieties impossible of 
 preconception, and therefore of avoidance, interposed 
 themselves to thwart Lamar's purpose of revisiting 
 Fordham within six months, his whole after-life 
 might have been vastly more conformable to the 
 delicious idyl his day-dreams pictured it to be. 
 
 But of all professions a physician's is the least 
 open to calculation. Valued patients will fall ill at 
 the most unseasonable and inconvenient times ; pesti- 
 lence and disease have a way of intruding their 
 shadowy forms between their would-be masters and 
 the latter's most fondly cherished purposes, thereby 
 thwarting them and rendering intention nugatory. 
 So it happened that twice six months elapsed before 
 Lamar found himself at leisure to fulfil the desire
 
 228 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 of returning to try his fortune with Natalie a 
 desire which an impatiently endured and protracted 
 term of separation had but strengthened into the one 
 aim and purpose of his life. 
 
 He was surprised himself at the hold the girl had 
 gained upon him. Love had come into his life so 
 late that it quite set all his preconceived ideas of 
 existence at naught. He felt like a blind man. who, 
 receiving the gift of vision after many years passed 
 in darkness, is dazzled by the glory of a luminary 
 whose vaunted glow and fire he had hitherto sus- 
 pected to be an exaggeration of enthusiasts. He was 
 overwhelmed by the necessity of accommodating his 
 being to the intrusion of this novel and bewildering 
 force. He felt that a new and younger Philip Lamar 
 had ousted the former from his place ; that the tide 
 of fresh feeling which- coursed through his veins was 
 a beneficent and rejuvenating stream from the foun- 
 tain of perpetual youth. 
 
 Life, which hitherto had been a dull routine to be 
 gone through with as speedily as possible, was now 
 but a too brief grant, to be prolonged and enjoyed to 
 its utmost limits. Nowadays, when he thought of 
 Laura, it was with a deeper regret and more tender 
 sympathy, for it seemed to him so pitiable that she 
 should have gone into oblivion ignorant of this great
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 229 
 
 glory, which was, after all, the one excuse for being, 
 the one supreme recompense for all the ills and 
 wearisome details of life. 
 
 It was profoundly significant of the merely fra- 
 ternal nature of his regard for Laura that at times 
 he was overwhelmed with a desire for her presence, 
 that he might discuss with her this mighty passion 
 that he was experiencing for another woman. The 
 utter irrationality of the desire never occurred to 
 him, and when his mind was at leisure to dwell upon 
 Natalie, largely animating his reveries was the 
 regret that Laura might not have seen, and loved too, 
 the sweet young maiden who so fulfilled his ideal of 
 womanhood. 
 
 For the first few months after his return to 
 America he had possessed his soul in patience, draw- 
 ing comfort from the occasional letters which Rhea 
 and Robert sent him, and which kept him pretty well 
 informed of the course of their lives. 
 
 The existence led by the sisters was well-nigh 
 uneventful. They were still living on at the rectory, 
 as the new incumbent was a bachelor, who did not 
 care for so large an establishment as the rambling 
 old structure, and who willingly allowed them to 
 retain it. Robert's life, however, had undergone very 
 serious and marked modifications. Lamar learned
 
 230 DOCTOR LAN All. 
 
 with surprise, not unmixed with disgust, of his 
 altered plans. 
 
 On the very eve of his installation into his new 
 living, he had relinquished his purpose in order to 
 go up to London and throw himself heart and soul 
 into the exacting work of a parish amid the slums. 
 This Lamar felt to be well enough, for his own incli- 
 nations pointed toward the relief and assistance of 
 the masses, but when, a little later, he received infor- 
 mation from Rhea to the effect that Kobert had 
 attached himself to a High-Church brotherhood, and 
 was on probation in one of its houses, with a view 
 to taking upon himself its vows and obligations, his 
 dismay and annoyance were so intense that it was 
 many weeks before he dared trust himself to write 
 Wyndham. 
 
 He understood, and, in the light of his newly 
 awakened susceptibilities, deeply sympathized with 
 the cause which undoubtedly had driven Robert to 
 this step ; but that any man should, for any reason 
 under the broad heavens, voluntarily deprive himself 
 of that liberty of conduct which Lamar felt to be 
 humanity's dearest possession, was so far beyond his 
 comprehension, that his impatience and disgust ren- 
 dered him quite intolerant of the very thought of his 
 friend.
 
 DOCTOR LA MAR. 231 
 
 After time had somewhat cooled his indignation, 
 he felt an urgent necessity of writing Robert, and 
 seeking to dissuade him from his contemplated pro- 
 ject. This he did, and a letter was despatched to the 
 would-be Bi-other of the Order of St. Paul, teeming 
 with the strongest arguments which a man of the 
 world could urge against a meditated rejection of 
 temporal benefits. 
 
 Perhaps a less vigorous protest would have brought 
 forth better results. Earnestness often overleaps its 
 aim by reason of its own strength. Lamar's pleas 
 were too vehemently uttered ; they aroused Robert's 
 antagonism. They breathed too deep a contempt 
 of the forms and rituals which were the very atmos- 
 phere of the man's belief. Their evident intolerance 
 of his intention awoke his indignation, and wounded 
 his jealous affection for the holy ceremonials Lamar 
 so openly contemned. 
 
 Beside this, Rhea's fears had fulfilled themselves. 
 The sweet honey of Robert's nature had, by one 
 terrible disappointment, been turned to gall. His 
 father's death could not have come at a more inoppor- 
 tune time for him. The influence of the old man's 
 broad, tender charity had never been more sadly 
 needed by his son than at the moment he was 
 deprived of it.
 
 232 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 Left to itself, the narrowness of Wyndham's moral 
 nature a narrowness which leaned toward bigotry 
 contracted rapidly, until even Rhea found it diffi- 
 cult to live up to his exactions, while Natalie did not 
 hesitate to proclaim the relief she felt when Robert 
 departed for London. 
 
 It is probable, therefore, that his increased religios- 
 ity had greatly affected his former tolerance of 
 Lamar's agnosticism, and an ever-augmenting warmth 
 of remonstrance which had pervaded his letters since 
 Lamar's return to America now took occasion to 
 break forth into open denunciation and anathema, 
 which could not fail to rouse Lamar's spirit. 
 
 The letter containing this fiery condemnation 
 closed all communication between the two men. But 
 through his correspondence with Rhea, Lamar was 
 enabled to glean occasional tidings of the man whom 
 he had once loved as a brother. 
 
 Robert had finally been received into the order 
 the usual term of probation having been abridged in 
 his case, owing to the unusual zeal he brought to the 
 work. This fact had been the prominent feature in 
 Rhea's last letter, which was eloquent with the 
 natural regret and sorrow of a sister who feels her- 
 self bereft of a brother's intimate love and interest. 
 Enclosed in the same envelope was a tiny cutting
 
 DOCTOR LANAR. 233 
 
 from the London Morning Post, which, after reading, 
 Lainar crushed between his fingers with a bitter 
 malediction. It ran thus : 
 
 "At St. George's, Hanover Sq., on Monday, the 
 16th inst., Eleanor, eldest daughter of Mr. Godfrey 
 
 Dunstane, of Dunstane Hall, shire, to Henry 
 
 Reginald Arthur, Viscount Parker." An elaborate 
 description of the ceremony followed. 
 
 Since the receipt of this communication a month 
 ago, Lamar had heard nothing from the Wyndhams. 
 But on this, the eve of his departure for England, 
 the fact did not concern him greatly. Within two 
 weeks, if luck were with him, he should be in Ford- 
 ham, in the dear old rectory, holding a slim, girlish 
 hand in his would it nutter a little at his touch, he 
 wondered? gazing his fill into a pair of sweet, 
 dark eyes, whose lids perchance would fall beneath 
 the fire in his own ; and assuring himself by the evi- 
 dence of his own senses that all was well with her, 
 the fair, gentle, pure maiden whose witcheries had 
 awakened the slumbering soul in his body. 
 
 He was sitting in his study, revelling in these 
 charming day-dreams a new occupation for his 
 grave mind. Without in the hall his one trunk stood 
 ready strapped for his journey. A sudden impulse 
 came to him. He rose, left the room, and, mounting
 
 234 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 the stairs, opened a door opposite the chamber which 
 had been Laura's, entered reverently, as one enters 
 holy sanctuary, and with a touch upon the illumin- 
 ator threw the room into brilliancy. 
 
 It was a charming apartment. Fresh, airy, and 
 daintily furnished to meet the requirements of a 
 young girl for, influenced by an optimism which 
 predicted success in his suit, Lamar had been led to 
 remodel and refurnish his whole house, with a view 
 to its occupancy by Natalie. 
 
 Xow he went from room to room, turning each 
 into a blaze of light, readjusting draperies and orna- 
 ments here and there with an awkward, masculine 
 touch, which wrought no improvement in the existing 
 order of things, but which helped to appease his 
 desire for perfection. He had been terribly critical 
 in the matter of decoration, and had shown an anxiety 
 regarding detail which had rendered the decorator's 
 undertaking no easy task. 
 
 It had been to him a labor of love the only 
 method of relieving the true lover's desire to load the 
 object of his passion with benefits. While etiquette 
 held him in its meshes, he must restrain within the 
 limits of future acceptance the eager impulse to heap 
 favors upon his beloved. Therefore, he determined 
 to make her home as beautiful as money could render
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 235 
 
 it, and whenever he found opportunity he would 
 steal a moment from his busy life and search the 
 shops for some unique and dainty ornament for the 
 shrine which was to hold his idol. 
 
 The result of his carte blanche to one of New 
 York's best decorators was exceedingly beautiful, and 
 his tour of inspection was well-nigh satisfactory. 
 He could think of only one missing charm that could 
 give the rooms additional beauty : and his heart 
 throbbed a little wildly at the thought of those 
 mirrors reflecting the features of that fair face, and 
 the grim, silent walls waking into life and gayety 
 beneath the spell of a sweet, musical voice. He had 
 never allowed the thought of a non-successful issue 
 to his suit to obtrude itself upon his hopes. He was 
 naturally optimistic, and his hitherto successful 
 mastery of his fate induced him to argue a favorable 
 result in the coining crisis. 
 
 Having finished a lingering inspection of the 
 house, he went back to his study, which alone would 
 have presented a familiar aspect to Laura's returning 
 spirit. Of all the house this room only preserved 
 the stiff angularity which had formerly characterized 
 every apartment. He had failed to work off his 
 unusual excitability by the means he had just prac- 
 tised indeed, if anything, his spirits had received
 
 236 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 an accession of animation from his late proceedings 
 so, with the physician's instinct he laid his finger 
 on his pulse, and gave a short, amused laugh at find- 
 ing how it had exceeded its ordinary calm, steady pace. 
 
 " Who would have believed that I could become 
 such a weak, lovesick fool ?" he muttered to himself, 
 but not with scorn, rather with a thrill of exultation 
 in the assurance that he was not yet too old to ex- 
 perience the divine passion. 
 
 This last week had been interminably long to him. 
 Gradually, during it, he had been relinquishing his 
 duties into other hands ; by degrees ridding his 
 shoulders of their yoke. He pulled out his watch 
 and glanced at it. 
 
 " Nine o'clock only ! " he murmured in dismay. 
 "Too early to go to bed. I'm altogether too excited 
 to sleep. Hallo ! the bell ! By Jove, I almost hope 
 it's a patient ! It would give me something to do." 
 But it was not. A moment later the butler 
 announced : 
 
 "The Rev. Mr. Grafton, sir," and, to Lamar's un- 
 bounded astonishment, the " Rev. Derrick " himself 
 entered the room, and approached his host with an 
 extended hand which shook somewhat nervously, by 
 reason of an emotion that manifested itself also on 
 his handsome face.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 237 
 
 
 
 " Mr. Grafton ! " exclaimed Laraar in great sur- 
 prise. " This is indeed a most unexpected pleasure. 
 I did not know you were in America." 
 
 A flush crept over the young fellow's face. 
 
 " Oh, yes ; I have been here two months or more. 
 I should have called upon you before, but " he 
 hesitated a moment, then continued frankly, though 
 hurriedly, as if this explanation were but an unwel- 
 come delay in the purpose of his present visit " to 
 tell you the truth, Dr. Lamar, I came over here be- 
 cause I was too hard hit to remain in England, and 
 I did not come to see you because I did not want to 
 be reminded of Natalie. Now, sir, for God's sake, 
 tell me, how is she ? " 
 
 His voice broke, and Lamar was pained f and 
 shocked to see how worn and haggard the young 
 curate looked. 
 
 " How is she ? " he repeated ; " why, very well, I 
 suppose. I have heard nothing from Fordham for a 
 month, but they were all well then." 
 
 Derrick started to his feet. 
 
 " What ! " he cried. " You have not heard of the 
 accident ? " He drew a breath of relief. " You are 
 not then, as I supposed, engaged to her ? " 
 
 A cold hand seemed to grasp Lamar's heart, and 
 his face grew white with apprehension.
 
 238 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 11 The accident ! " he repeated mechanically. 
 " What accident ? " 
 
 " Did you not know that a couple of weeks ago, as 
 Natalie was trying a new horse Miss Wyndham had 
 given her, the beast took fright at a bicycle, bolted, 
 and threw her into an ugly ditch ? Dicky Dunstane 
 was with her, and managed to get her home on a 
 litter, with the help of some men who Avere at work, 
 on the road. They sent for a London surgeon, but 
 he gave Miss Wyndham little encouragement. It is 
 some terrible spinal trouble." 
 
 Lamar sat and listened stupidly, his mind scarcely 
 grasping the overwhelming fact that Natalie, his 
 own, the woman whom out of all the world he had 
 elected to be his wife, the one object toward which 
 for over a year his every aim, thought, wish, and 
 purpose had tended, was perhaps even now abso- 
 lutely nothing but dust. The news had come too 
 suddenly upon his joyous exaltation. It stunned 
 him. He looked Derrick almost vacantly in the 
 face. His one coherent thought was that there 
 must be some mistake. 
 
 " Are you sure ? " he asked dully. Then a sudden 
 change came over him. His whole frame quivered, 
 and his face worked convulsively. He sprang to his 
 feet and grasped the young fellow by the shoulder.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAB. 239 
 
 " What is this you say ? " he almost shouted. 
 "Natalie injured fatally! dead even now, perhaps! 
 Do you know, young man, what this is you are tell- 
 ing me ? It is false, I tell you ! Do you not think 
 I should have heard of it before this ? " 
 
 He looked quite savage in his intense agitation. 
 His grasp tightened on Derrick's shoulder, and he 
 all but shook him, as if he would force a denial 
 from his lips. But Grafton shook his head sadly; 
 his own emotion seemed, even to himself, a pale 
 shadow of this greater passion. 
 
 " I wish it were ! " he replied. " From the bottom 
 of my heart I wish so ; but there is no chance of a 
 mistake. I had a letter yesterday from Lady Mary, 
 telling me of it, and I cabled at once for news, and 
 got an answer this morning from Miss Wyndham 
 herself. Here it is." He drew a cablegram from his 
 letter-case and, opening it, read, 
 
 " ' Little hope. Suffers terribly. Fear the worst. 
 E. Wyndham.' " 
 
 Lamar dropped into his chair, and sat gazing 
 blankly at the brilliant hues of a Turkish rug, 
 saying nothing, but trying to calm the storm that 
 was raging within him ; trying to call that great, 
 strong reason to his aid, to summon that mighty 
 mind that had heretofore been his sole god, to the
 
 240 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 assistance of his tortured spirit. He wrestled with 
 himself, trying vainly to subdue the passion of his 
 soul. Never before had he endured a crisis such as 
 this, when reflection, judgment, reason, all forsook 
 him, and left him stranded on the shifting sands of 
 passion. 
 
 He could not bring himself to consider even the 
 nature of the injuries Natalie might have sustained. 
 One thought alone filled his mind, excluding all 
 others; it was that she, the woman whom he had 
 grown in the last twelve months to consider almost 
 as part of himself, that lovely, joyous creature who 
 had seemed the very embodiment of life and health, 
 was lying shattered and suffering if indeed she 
 lived at all on a bed whence she probably would 
 never again arise. 
 
 After -a little he raised his eyes and looked at 
 Derrick, who was sitting silent, buried in his own 
 reflections. 
 
 " I was going to sail to-morrow," he said simply. 
 
 " You will still go ? " Derrick hazarded. " My 
 God ! I wish I might too ; but I can't. I'm doing 
 duty for a man in New Jersey, who has gone to be 
 married. Besides, there's no use in my going." 
 
 The bitter hopelessness in the young priest's tone 
 smote Lamar with a sense of his own selfishness. 
 He held out his hand to the other.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 241 
 
 "There may be none in mine, either," he said. 
 "Of course I shall go, as you say. But, Mr. Grafton, 
 you will pardon me if I suggest that your condition 
 is more enviable than mine. Your fate has been 
 already sealed ; my doom yet awaits me." 
 
 Dr. Larnar arrived in Liverpool on a wet, dreary 
 September evening, and was obliged to wait over 
 night for a train which should make the proper con- 
 nections for Fordham. As. long as he lived that 
 ocean voyage remained stamped on his memory as the 
 most unendurable period of his existence. The sus- 
 pense and inaction had been terrible to bear, and 
 the enforced delay to his impetuous anxiety was 
 horrible. 
 
 He could not understand why Rhea had neglected 
 to cable him tidings of the accident, and felt angry 
 and resentful at the thought that had he been ap- 
 prised at once of the fact, he might have been in 
 Fordham at the very moment of Grafton's visit to 
 him. Immediately upon the steamer's arrival he 
 telegraphed to Miss Wyndham, asking for news 
 and announcing his coming. The reply, signed by 
 Robert, was partially reassuring in that it informed 
 him that Natalie was still living, though in a most 
 precarious condition. 
 
 It seemed to Lauiar that if he could once reach
 
 242 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Fordham, Natalie must mend. Wliat was all his 
 science worth if it could not be of practical benefit 
 in this great emergency ? And yet, since the mo- 
 ment that Grafton had broken the terrible news to 
 him, a dark cloud had obscured the cheery horizon of 
 his hopes. His optimism had quite vanished, and, 
 try as he would, he found it impossible to revive 
 those charming day-dreams of the future, which had 
 been forever dissipated by the cabalistic signs upon 
 a bit of paper. Read by Grafton, and construed by 
 his own foreboding spirit, these had signified ruin 
 and destruction to all his beautiful air-castles. 
 
 Barker met him at the Fordham station in the 
 well-remembered dog-cart, and the tears stood in the 
 old fellow's eyes in response to Lamar's eager ques- 
 tion. 
 
 " Yes, sir," he replied, drawing his sleeve across 
 his face. "She's just living, is Miss Natalie, and 
 that's about all." 
 
 Robert came out to greet him as the cart drew up 
 before the porch, and, although his manner was 
 studiously polite, Lamar at once felt the reserve 
 which estrangement had wrought in it. But anxiety 
 concerning Natalie rendered him indifferent to a 
 coldness which was more than compensated for by 
 Rhea's glad cordiality. With both hands extended
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 243 
 
 in earnest welcome, she came to him in the dear, 
 familiar sitting-room, which, of itself, breathed 
 kindly greeting to the exhausted traveller. 
 
 "Oh, Dr. Lamar! Why, why did you not come 
 before ? " she cried reproachfully. " I have so 
 longed for your advice and sympathy." 
 
 Lamar looked at her in surprise. 
 
 "Why?" he repeated somewhat indignantly, for 
 he was still sore at the thought of the state of igno- 
 rance in which he had been kept, " why, Miss Wynd- 
 ham, can you imagine any reason delaying my coming 
 to Natalie save the real one, that I was not apprised 
 of her accident ? " 
 
 Khea appeared confounded. 
 
 " Not apprised ! " she exclaimed, echoing his words 
 in her turn. " But that is impossible, for I both 
 cabled and wrote to you. Surely, there is some mys- 
 tery about it ! " 
 
 Lamar felt that he had solved the mystery, though 
 he kept his suspicions to himself, when he learned 
 that both letter and cablegram had been intrusted to 
 the care of Kobert for despatch. Evidently Father 
 Wyndham, as he was now called, was of the Jesuitical 
 opinion that the result of shielding his sisters from 
 contamination with a heretic was sufficiently desirable 
 to justify the application of any means which might 
 come within his scope.
 
 244 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 However, this became of no consequence to Lamar, 
 now that he was on the scene of action. With his 
 entrance into the house of illness all minor consider- 
 ations, all personal and selfish preoccupations were 
 lost sight of iii the one engrossing subject of the suf- 
 ferer, and her possible restoration to health,. I was 
 about to say, but life is a fitter word. One sharp, 
 professional glance assured Lamar that health was a 
 word to be henceforth erased from the vocabulary 
 of Natalie's personal experience. He must fain be 
 content, he reluctantly admitted, with restoring her 
 to life for such, her present existence, with its con- 
 dition of opium-induced unconsciousness, could scarce 
 be called. 
 
 He made a thorough examination of the inert, deli- 
 cate frame, while Natalie lay in a heavy stupor which- 
 precluded knowledge of his presence or actions. His 
 diagnosis concluded, he stood and gazed for a few 
 moments down upon the sweet face, whereon the 
 shadows of suffering were heavily painted beneath 
 the sunken eyes. He was unwilling, unable, indeed, 
 to turn and confront the eager questioning of Rhea's 
 face, while his own features were working with the 
 agony of acquiescence in the hopeless verdict of the 
 English surgeons. 
 
 Finally Rhea could bear it no longer. The torture
 
 DOCTOR LAM Alt. 2-15 
 
 of suspense overcame her consideration for his suffer- 
 ing. She touched him on the sleeve. 
 
 " Well ? " she whispered, charging the monosyllable 
 with all the apprehension of her soul. 
 
 He started and turned upon her a drawn, haggard 
 face, over which self-control had lost the mastery. 
 
 " Well ! " he repeated in a harsh, broken voice. 
 " Well ! No ; ill, ill, Rhea ! ill, beyond my worst fears. 
 Look at her, look long and well at her as she lies 
 there stricken beyond the power of human help, and 
 then go and prove the omnipotence of the Saviour you 
 worship. Go, Rhea, pray, beg, beseech Him to send 
 down some of His healing grace and raise her ; for, 
 in truth, nothing short of a miracle can restore her 
 to her former condition. Here is a chance, Rhea ! 
 Let your God do this thing, and I swear Him my 
 allegiance. Let Him give but life I will not demand 
 strength and health, only continued existence to 
 her, the -only being on earth I have ever really loved, 
 and by the gods I swear to consecrate my life to His 
 service for the rest of its term ! " 
 
 He paused, and burst into a short, contemptuous 
 laugh. Then his mood changed ; he threw out his 
 arms, and his face quivered convulsively. He made 
 a strong effort over himself, but in vain. The tide of 
 emotion was too powerful to be stemmed. He sank
 
 246 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 upon his knees beside the bed and burst into a storm 
 of heavy, deep sobs, while he cried passionately, 
 
 " Oh, Natalie, my darling ! my dearest ! To think 
 that this should be the ending of it all ! " 
 
 Unwilling to remain a witness of a strong man's 
 unwonted weakness, Rhea, her own face streaming 
 with tears, laid her comforting, sympathetic touch 
 for a moment on his head, arid then stole softly from 
 the room. 
 
 Since then there had been no allusion to the proba- 
 ble result of Natalie's illness between them. To- 
 gether they watched beside her ; together they nursed 
 her and ministered to her needs. Co-operating with 
 the surgeon already in charge, Lamar brought to her 
 service all his vast medical erudition, all his profes- 
 sional skill, knowledge, and experience. 
 
 After that one confession of hopelessness, he seemed 
 to take a brighter view of the case. Whether to cheer 
 Rhea or encourage himself, he asserted a belief in the 
 possibility of saving Natalie. His old combativeness 
 had become aroused, and the faith in himself, which 
 had been of great service to him throughout his career, 
 now came to his aid. Whether he really deceived 
 himself is doubtful, but at least he greatly eased Rhea's 
 apprehensions, and made her task of nursing much 
 lighter by investing it with brighter promise.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 247 
 
 But he felt his position in the household an anoma- 
 lous one. Although, owing to the fact that Robert 
 was absent in London the greater part of the time, 
 Lamar had taken up his quarters in the village, yet, 
 virtually, he lived at the rectory. His constant pres- 
 ence there, he knew, must occasion comment, unless 
 it were authorized by the announcement of his engage- 
 ment to Natalie. In her present condition it was of 
 course impossible to seek to win the girl's own con- 
 sent, as, owing to the necessity for perfect composure, 
 it had been deemed advisable not to acquaint her with 
 the fact of Lamar's arrival. 
 
 Any doubts concerning her attitude toward him 
 were, however, quite set at rest by Rhea's candid 
 avowal : 
 
 "My little girl loves you, Dr. Lamar," she said 
 frankly. " She confessed as much to me long ago." 
 
 This was in reply to a question which Lamar put 
 to her after he had been in Fordham but a few hours. 
 
 " Rhea," he had said, for it was easier to address 
 her by the home name since a common grief had so 
 closely united them, "you were aware of my purpose 
 in coming to England again, and you tacitly sanctioned 
 my coming, therefore I argued that you had faith in 
 the success of my suit with Natalie. Was I right ? " 
 
 Then Rhea had acknowledged the fact of Natalie's
 
 248 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 love, adding, " Oh, Dr. Lamar, even loving her as you 
 do, you have but little conception of the pure, gentle 
 heart you have won. She is sweetness and purity per- 
 sonified. Never, since her birth, has she given me a 
 moment's anxiety or solicitude. Her nature is exqui- 
 sitely tender and tractable, and it breaks my heart to 
 think of losing her. My dear little Natalie ! Dr. 
 Lamar, how am I to live without her ? " 
 
 " Live without her ! " Lamar had repeated vehe- 
 mently. " Hush ! Do not even harbor the thought 
 for an instant. She shall not die. What are all my 
 long years of study and labor worth, if they cannot 
 preserve to me this one life, this existence that is far 
 dearer to me then my own ? Ehea, she shall live, I 
 tell you ; I will have it so. All the leagued powers 
 of heaven and hell, if such there be, shall not prevail 
 against me. I defy death to take her from me ! " 
 
 Miss Wyndham turned a very grave face upon him. 
 It was the first time his atheism had practically mani- 
 fested itself to her. 
 
 " Hush, hush ! " she protested in a shocked tone. 
 " You are blasphemous. Death you may hold in 
 abeyance by your great skill, but remember there is 
 One, the sole Master of life and death, before whose 
 will the mightiest acquirements of science must yield 
 themselves vanquished. Dr. Lamar, my love for
 
 DOCTOR LAM Alt. 249 
 
 Natalie is, of its kind, as great and tenacious as yours ; 
 yet, if it be God's will that she be taken from me, I 
 would not thwart it even by a wish." 
 
 The possibility of losing Natalie had worked Lamar 
 into a fierce passion of rebellion. 
 
 " And if it be the will of all the gods who have ever 
 been worshipped on this earth, from the earliest cen- 
 turies, that she shall die and leave me," he exclaimed, 
 crossing his arms over his broad chest, while a set look 
 of defiance glowed in his gray eyes and-curved his lips 
 into fierce determination, "I say she shall not, and 
 challenge them to do their worst ! " 
 
 Rhea shuddered and turned pale. 
 
 " Don't, don't ! " she cried, instinctively putting her 
 hands over her ears to shut out his words. "Dr. 
 Lamar, you will call down vengeance from heaven, 
 and it will prove itself upon my child You almost 
 make me feel it wrong to trust her in your keeping. 
 How can I tell what may be the effect of your influ- 
 ence upon her ? Even now I have my suspicion of 
 her faith. She has shown of late a tendency to ques- 
 tion our established belief which has frightened me. 
 Promise me, nay, swear to me, ah ! I forgot, no oath 
 would be binding to you, yet your promise is enough, 
 for, did I not trust and honor you implicitly, I would 
 hide my child from you, rather than that you should
 
 250 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 endanger her soul promise me then, on your honor, 
 that never by word or deed will you seek to tamper with 
 or influence her belief in God. My father loved and 
 trusted you, Dr. Lamar, and so do I. He was willing 
 to give Natalie to you, feeling confident of the integrity 
 of her faith, and hoping much from its effect upon you. 
 I would give her to you, too, for I feel that she loves 
 you and I can refuse her nothing ; but I give with a 
 weaker and less assured heart than his, for I know 
 the naturally pliant nature of ray child." 
 
 Laniar's passion faded and died quite out before 
 the calm, steady glow in Rebecca Wyndham's eyes. 
 His own softened with a warm, radiant light. He 
 took Rhea's hand in one of his and laid his other 
 upon it. 
 
 " You say that I hold nothing sufficiently sacred to 
 give an oath weight," he said ; " you are very wrong. 
 The ordinary oaths by which men swear would scarcely 
 bind me, I admit ; but there are many things in this 
 world which command my respect and reverence suf- 
 ficiently to sanctify them to my regard. One of these 
 is the nobility and unselfishness of your devotion to 
 Natalie ; another is the purity of her own innocent 
 spirit. By these two virtues I swear to you, Miss 
 Wyndham, that never, voluntarily, will I in any way 
 distress the one or tarnish the other. Believe me, 
 you may trust to my honor."
 
 DOCTOR LAM Alt. 251 
 
 He bent his head and sealed his promise with a 
 light touch of his lips upon her hand. 
 
 Meeting the earnest assurance of his eyes, she did 
 believe him, and told him so. Then they fell to talk- 
 ing of Robert, and Lamar could see how great a grief 
 to the sister was the change in him. 
 
 " I should not care for his joining the order, and 
 could reconcile myself to the alienation which must 
 be its consequence to us, if it were not for the miser- 
 able change in him. His altered mode of life has not 
 made him happier, and his disappointment in Eleanor 
 has so wretchedly affected his whole nature. He has 
 thrown himself into his new duties with an ardor 
 which speaks volumes for the recklessness that is con- 
 suming him. Dr. Lamar, you can see how different 
 he is from my bright, happy-hearted boy. Father 
 Wyndham has little in common with your friend and 
 my brother Robert." 
 
 " Yes ; it is a sad change. I should like to see 
 Miss Dunstane and give her a small piece of my 
 mind. What a poor sort of creature she must be ! " 
 
 Rhea sighed. 
 
 "Poor Eleanor!" she said; "I cannot help pitying 
 her. She is Lady Parker now, but I fear she is far 
 from happy." 
 
 "Serves her right," returned Lamar with scant
 
 252 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 sympathy. " By the way, Rhea, I am going to speak 
 to Robert about Natalie, and ask his consent to my 
 engagement to her, if she will have me. I am afraid 
 I shall have some trouble with him." 
 
 Rhea looked gravely apprehensive. 
 
 " Yes, I am afraid you will," she admitted frankly. 
 "He is growing terribly narrow and bigoted. How- 
 'ever, I believe he still loves you." 
 
 " Well, I shall try him to-morrow, if he comes down. 
 What if he refuses me, Rhea ? " 
 
 Miss Wyndham's expression grew yet more anxious 
 and troubled. She waited before replying, as if con- 
 sidering the subject carefully. Finally she drew a 
 long breath : evidently the conclusion was painfully 
 difficult. 
 
 " It will be most unfortunate and may even cause a 
 breach between him and us ; yet I cannot bid you 
 abide by his decision when you have already obtained 
 the sanction of my father's approval, and have also 
 won Natalie's love." 
 
 A look of relief crossed Lamar's face, and he pressed 
 Rhea's hand closely. 
 
 " How can I ever reward you for your goodness to 
 me ? " he said. " No man ever had a stancher friend, 
 and I shall try to prove my gratitude to you in the 
 future."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 253 
 
 CHAPTER XIII. 
 
 THE change in Kobert Wyndham was indeed a 
 marked one, and its outward manifestation could not 
 but arouse one's sympathies in behalf of the terrible 
 suffering which alone could have produced it. All 
 the bright buoyancy of the face had fled forever, and 
 every line of its contour appeared to have undergone 
 alteration. Suffering repressed and consuming, dis- 
 appointment bitter and acute, had set their rigid seals 
 upon his cheery countenance and marked its once 
 boyish features for their own. 
 
 The face had grown thin and sharp of outline, the 
 eyes had quite lost their customary twinkle of merri- 
 ment, and a feverish sparkle of nervous restlessness 
 glittered in their glance. The thick brown hair had 
 already begun to fall away from his brow, giving 
 indication of the near appearance of a natural 
 tonsure. 
 
 The garb of his order accentuated the unfamiliarity 
 of his aspect, and helped to mark the distance which 
 Larnar felt the past year had set between them. It 
 seemed to him incredible that s,o short a time could
 
 254 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 have effected such a change in any human being. 
 His heart ached for the man who showed such evi- 
 dent signs of the shipwreck of all his hopes and pur- 
 poses. Unnatural and irrational as Robert's change 
 of plan appeared to him, he could not but sympathize 
 with the desperate suffering which had effected it. 
 
 And desperate indeed had been the suffering which 
 Robert Wyndham had undergone. So natural had it 
 been to him to associate Eleanor Dunstane's life with 
 his own, so implicit had been his faith in her love 
 and in the ideal he had so long worshipped, that a 
 realization of the fallacy of his hopes, a disclosure of 
 the feet of clay which supported the beautiful image 
 of his aspirations, had given his whole being a shock 
 from which it was too weak to react. 
 
 Not love of God, but hatred of woman, had driven 
 him into the brotherhood of St. Paul. All the time 
 he was practising the- fasts and vigils, performing the 
 arduous duties and offices of his new career, his heart 
 was burning with despair and vindictiveness, his soul 
 was crying out against the woman who had ruined 
 his life, his manhood was in revolt against the re- 
 straints and restrictions imposed upon it by his new 
 vows. The flesh was militant' against the spirit, the 
 heart against the brain. 
 
 What wonder, then, that after twelve months of
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 255 
 
 such wrestling, the man was scarcely recognizable in 
 the priest ? What wonder that the broader avenues 
 of his nature had, for want of use, become clogged 
 with ugly weeds, while narrow paths alone gave 
 access to the citadel of his soul ? 
 
 Kobert came down from London late in the after- 
 noon of the day after Lamar had announced his 
 intention of offering himself as Natalie's future hus- 
 band. His manner to Lamar was as coldly courteous 
 and forbiddingly negative as it had been ever since 
 the latter' s arrival. Not a trace of the old-time 
 warmth and familiarity characterized it. Evidently 
 to him, a self-righteous servant of God, Lamar was a 
 deadly foe, whose approaches were to be contested at 
 every point. 
 
 After dinner, over which there was no temptation 
 to linger as in former days, Lamar requested his 
 unwilling host for such, at least in part, Father 
 Wyndham was to grant him an interview upon a 
 subject of importance. Apparently the demand was 
 an unpleasant one to the priest, for he knit his brows, 
 and a look of annoyance clouded his face. Undoubt- 
 edly he divined the nature of the subject about to be 
 entered upon, and Lamar felt that his curt, brief 
 assent boded little encouragement to the success of 
 his suit.
 
 256 DOCTOR LAMAIl. 
 
 They adjourned to the old study where Lamar had 
 taken his silent farewell of Natalie. As the door 
 closed upon the two men who had once been such 
 close and congenial friends, Lamar experienced a 
 decidedly uncomfortable feeling of constraint and 
 awkwardness. The room was lighted only by a Ger- 
 man student's lamp, and the gloom had a discour- 
 aging effect upon his spirits. 
 
 He felt that no rapport existed between him and 
 his companion. This Father Wyndham, with his 
 wan, ascetic countenance and grave air and deport- 
 ment, gave him no sense of familiarity or acquaint- 
 anceship. It would have been far easier to broach 
 his subject to an entire stranger than to this man 
 whose unnatural austerity chilled his ardor. 
 
 He hazarded one or two irrelevant remarks upon 
 past mutual experiences, hoping to summon up a 
 remembrance of their former friendship, which 
 should breed a more congenial atmosphere ; but the 
 priest seemed indisposed to dwell upon the topics, 
 and responded so briefly to Lamar' s "do you remem- 
 bers," that the latter finally abandoned his attempt 
 to help his cause by the aid of ghostly reminiscences. 
 
 They had seated themselves on either side of the 
 broad study table, upon which so many of the rector's 
 sound, liberal sermons had been written that it should
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 257 
 
 have preserved sufficient of his personal influence to 
 shed a spirit of charity and benevolence throughout 
 the room. Eobert had dropped his head back against 
 the chair-cushion and, having trusted perhaps in the 
 gloom of the apartment to conceal the expression of 
 his face, had abandoned his usual stern control over 
 its features, and had allowed all the weariness and 
 wretchedness which were consuming his life to show 
 forth upon its lineaments. He looked almost like an 
 old man, and Lamar felt himself stirred with pity 
 and the desire to help him. 
 
 " Bob," he said suddenly, after an awkward pause, 
 " see here, old fellow, I wish I could do something to 
 put an end to this coldness between us. I never 
 thought our friendship should end this way." 
 
 The priest started, and a flush dyed his face for a 
 moment. He involuntarily stretched out his hand to 
 meet the one Lamar extended, but drew it back 
 again with a violent effort of self-repression, and 
 clasped its long, thin fingers within those of its 
 fellow. Lamar saw the movement and understood it. 
 He turned away with a little shrug, but with an 
 expression of real regret on his face. 
 
 " You won't have me again at any price ? " he said 
 with a short, abrupt laugh. " Well, I am sorry ; for, 
 Robert, I am in special need of your friendly offices."
 
 258 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 The words appeared to kindle a certain hope in 
 the priest's soul. A gleam of pleasure lighted his 
 face into some resemblance to its former bright- 
 ness. 
 
 " Do you mean," he asked quickly, " that you 
 want my help in religious matters ? If so, Philip, 
 you shall have all the best there is in me to per- 
 suade you into the true path." 
 
 Lamar shook his head impatiently, and Robert fell 
 back again, bitterly disappointed. The old love for 
 this heretic was a dangerous foe for him to cope 
 with. 
 
 " No," replied Lamar ; " I am still without the pale, 
 though perhaps the gift I am about to ask of you may 
 help to convince me of the Divine life. Robert, I 
 have come to you to-night, with the sanction of your 
 father's and sister's approval, to ask your consent to 
 my trying to win Natalie's love if she recovers." 
 
 The priest turned a face of fixed denial upon 
 Lamar. 
 
 "You shall never have it, Philip Lamar," he said 
 severely. "My sister Rebecca is simply a weak, yield- 
 ing woman, incapable of deciding in the serious affairs 
 of life ; as for my father, I should scarcely think you 
 would urge the value of a consent extracted from his 
 ignorance of your atheistical opinions. Had you not
 
 DOCTOR LAM Alt. 259 
 
 taken base advantage of this ignorance, you could 
 never have won his sanction of a marriage which he 
 would have abhorred had he known the truth con- 
 cerning you " 
 
 " It is false ! " interrupted Lamar, roused to anger 
 by the injustice of the charge. "Your father gave 
 me his consent in the full knowledge of my opinions. 
 As to Miss Wyndham, it may be a question in some 
 minds as to whether charity and tolerance constitute 
 strength or weakness of character; however, let that 
 pass. We will not stop for argument. What I wish 
 to know of you is this : If your sister Natalie recovers 
 
 which she shall do" he interjected determinedly, 
 " I mean sufficiently to accept my love and devotion, 
 
 for I tell you frankly she must in all probability 
 be a cripple for life, if she bestows upon me the 
 privilege of consecrating my whole existence to her, 
 will you give your consent to the marriage, or shall 
 you feel it incumbent upon you to refuse it ? " 
 
 "I shall most certainly refuse it," returned the 
 priest decidedly. " More than this, I shall do all in 
 my power to influence Natalie not to accept you. A 
 man holding your opinions regarding the most vital 
 matters of life is not fit to be trusted with the wel- 
 fare of any woman. Natalie is a pure, innocent child, 
 whose belief in her Creator has never known the
 
 260 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 shadow of a doubt." Has it not, oh, wise brother ? 
 "I would as soon think of placing her beneath the 
 corrupting influence of your atheism as I would 
 dream of destroying her physical being with my own 
 hands." 
 
 " Very well ! Then I shall marry her without 
 your consent." 
 
 The two men had risen and were confronting each 
 other. On both faces were written grim determina- 
 tion and unyielding will; but a vast difference 
 existed between the calm decision of the one, and the 
 passionate protest and ecclesiastical anger of the 
 other. The issue was a serious one to both, but 
 Lamar had the advantage of long deliberation and 
 calm reflection; whereas Wyndham had been too 
 greatly occupied with himself during the past year 
 to accord any great amount of thought to the affairs 
 of others. 
 
 Now he felt Natalie's soul to b'e in jeopardy, and, 
 being in an extremely nervous and irritable state 
 from severe discipline, by means of which he 'had 
 sought to overcome his stubborn flesh, he was ill- 
 prepared for cool, dispassionate argument and expos- 
 tulation. Lamar's last words roused a more than 
 holy ire within him. They gave him an opportunity 
 to unleash the tempest of feeling that had been
 
 DOCTOR LAMAK. 261 
 
 smouldering, like a slumbering volcano, within his 
 breast ever since the day of his rejection by Eleanor 
 Dunstane. 
 
 He had overlaid it with all sorts of debris. Good 
 works, untiring activity, severe discipline, and rigid 
 self-repression had each had a hand in crushing down 
 the passion of the man's nature. Yet the fire had 
 burned fiercely on, only awaiting an opportunity to 
 burst its restraints and flash hotly to the surface ; 
 and now the opportunity was given it. Undoubtedly 
 Robert Wyndham would have defined the impulse 
 that urged his outburst as one born of righteous 
 indignation; in fact, Natalie's salvation was but 
 the acceptable excuse for a long pent-up burst of 
 rage and despair at the abortiveness of his own 
 hopes. 
 
 He was tired, worn, and exhausted by the severe 
 mental and physical strain which he had been under- 
 going for twelve long months. Trouble after trouble 
 had seemed to lay their weight upon his heart to 
 crush out its very life. Eleanor's rejection, his 
 father's death, the loss of Lamar's friendship, Nat- 
 alie's terrible accident, and now the threatened alien- 
 ation from his family, all these had accumulated 
 to embitter him. His beloved religion, to which he 
 had fled for consolation with a soul filled with anger
 
 262 Docron LAMAR. 
 
 and passion, had disappointed him, loath as he would 
 have been to confess it even to himself. 
 
 Lamar's return to Fordham had stirred up a host 
 of memories and aroused certain cravings and regrets 
 in the priest's soul, recognition of whose existence 
 had resulted in scorn and contempt of his own carnal 
 nature. Now, as Lamar boldly announced his inten- 
 tion of thwarting and slighting his decision, the fury 
 of his wrath burst its bonds. His face grew crimson, 
 and he struck the study table heavily with his closed 
 fist. 
 
 " You will marry her, will you ? " he almost 
 shouted; "and pray, what recommendations do you 
 bring to prove your fitness to be the guardian of a 
 woman's life, to say nothing of her immortal soul ? 
 You, a man who boasts of having shortened the exist- 
 ence of one wife ! Do you think it strange that I 
 her brother, should refuse to trust to your tender 
 mercies the life of a poor cripple whose youth makes 
 it probable that she may outlive the term of your 
 patience and affection?" 
 
 Even in the midst of his self-abandonment he felt 
 the terrible injustice and cruelty of his words. 
 None knew better than he the tender, loving nature 
 of the man he was addressing, and the impossibility 
 of any selfish motive having influenced his crime.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 263 
 
 But a demon seemed to be sitting within his breast, 
 urging him on to this most cowardly, brutal assault. 
 
 The effect of his words upon Lamar was almost 
 deadly. During the opening sentences of the angry 
 priest's tirade he listened almost vacantly, as if 
 scarcely comprehending the meaning of his words ; 
 but as Robert finished and the horror of the insinua- 
 tion burst upon him in all its entirety, his fine, noble 
 face turned to a hue that was well-nigh ghastly, he 
 drew a short, quick breath that was almost a sob, 
 and, springing forward, seized the priest by both 
 shoulders with a convulsive grasp. 
 
 " By the eternal gods, Robert "Wyndham," he mut- 
 tered through his clinched teeth, "explain your 
 meaning, or you shall answer to me for what it 
 implies ! Tell me, man, you who call yourself a 
 priest of your God, what you mean by the sugges- 
 tion that I put an end to my wife's life from selfish 
 motives. By all the gods of war, I will shake the 
 words out of your mouth, if you are not quicker in 
 speaking them ! " 
 
 Wyndham shook himself free of the other's clutch. 
 His own passion was a little quelled by the effect 
 his words had produced upon Lamar ; yet the relief 
 of free utterance was too great to succumb to an 
 immediate check.
 
 264 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 "Before I explain anything, Philip Lamar," he 
 said, "answer me a question. You are now in the 
 full tide of your passion for my sister; she lies 
 above, crippled and suffering, but for the employ- 
 ment of opiates, as great agony as your wife endured. 
 Should the effect of the opiates suddenly fail, and 
 she, tortured beyond her strength, beg release from 
 you, answer me on your honor, if you, feeling her 
 death to be impossible of long delay, would consent 
 to hasten its coming ? " 
 
 His question sent a chill of death to Lamar's heart. 
 In an instant a scene, similar to the one he had 
 already assisted in, presented itself to his imagina- 
 tion only this time it was Natalie and not Laura 
 who besought relief at his hands. 
 
 Coming lately from her sick-room where she lay 
 in all the semblance of death, the picture was a 
 terribly vivid one. He saw the sweet, pure face 
 shadowed by its masses of dusky hair ; the graceful, 
 girlish form he loved beyond all things either of 
 time or eternity. He felt the dark, tender eyes 
 lifted to his in entreaty, and heard the gentle, musi- 
 cal voice weighted with the demand that he should 
 cut himself off forever from its loving tones. A 
 terrible shudder shook his strong frame so that he 
 even staggered and grasped a chair for support.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 265 
 
 Sinking into it he covered his face with his hands, 
 as if to shut out the gaze of his angry inquisitor as, 
 with a trembling, broken voice, he cried out, 
 
 "Laura, forgive me! I could not; no, I could 
 not ! " 
 
 It was an hour later that Miss Wyndham, making 
 her nightly rounds, found Lamar sitting alone in the 
 study. She had thought him gone for the night, and 
 was surprised when she discovered his tall, motion- 
 less figure outlined in the faint lamplight against one 
 of the windows. It was one that overlooked the 
 garden, and a glorious autumn moon was shining full 
 upon the flowerless sweet-brier tree, upon which 
 Lamar's gaze appeared to be fixed. 
 
 He turned as Rhea entered, and she was startled 
 by the traces of fierce emotion which were plainly 
 legible on his features. She came hastily toward 
 him, arguing but one cause from this visible effect. 
 
 " You consider Natalie worse ? " she asked breath- 
 lessly. He shook his head. 
 
 "No; about the same, I think," he replied briefly. 
 
 She looked searchingly at him with solicitous eyes. 
 
 " Philip," she said, feeling intuitively that he had 
 need of extra tenderness and sympathy, " what is it, 
 my brother ? You have been through some terrible 
 ordeal, I can see. Philip, tell me ; I am very brave,
 
 266 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 you know. Are you making up your mind to the 
 necessity of giving her up ? " 
 
 Larnar bent his head, and a short sob burst from 
 him. No one but himself could ever know what the 
 suffering of that last hour had been. Rhea turned 
 white, but however great her own pain, she was 
 always able to play the comforter. 
 
 " May the dear Lord help you ! " she whispered 
 softly. "Philip, it is hard for us to think of life 
 without Natalie, our dear little one, isn't it ? " 
 
 The tears would come, and she turned away to 
 compose herself. Lamar saw how he had misled her. 
 
 "Rhea," he said in a tone which it took all his 
 determination to render steady,-" you misunderstand 
 me. We do not yet know that you and Natalie 
 must be parted. There is as much chance for her 
 recovery as ever. It was of my own life I was think- 
 ing. It seems that, after all, it is doomed to be a 
 solitary one." 
 
 Rhea looked a little bewildered. 
 
 " Kobert has refused his consent, then ? " she said 
 questioningly, " and you have decided to abide by his 
 refusal ? " 
 
 A dark shadow eclipsed the suffering on Lamar's 
 face. 
 
 " Yes," he replied ; " partly that. But there is more
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 267 
 
 reason in his refusal than I suspected. Mine own 
 familiar friend " bitterly " has brought me to the 
 bar of my own judgment, and proved me by my own 
 verdict unworthy of his sister." 
 
 " Unworthy ! " Rhea repeated incredulously ; " I'll 
 not believe it, Dr. Lamar ! What is all this ? I 
 had thought you determined to disregard Eobert's 
 disapproval." 
 
 " Yes, and so I was ; but my own character has 
 been placed before me in a new and unexpected light. 
 I had thought myself a tolerably good man, as men 
 go, and a not altogether unworthy suitor for even 
 Natalie." He drew a long breath. "Rhea, I swear 
 I would have made her a good husband, your trust in 
 me should never have been belied ; but now it may 
 never be proved. I am found to be not only a 
 heathen, an agnostic, an atheist, but a fickle husband, 
 yes, a prepare yourself for a shock, Rhea a 
 murderer even." 
 
 There was such terrible gravity in his voice, 
 mingled with even a shade of remorse, that Rhea 
 knew not how to treat his statement. A lighter tone 
 would have moved her to ridicule it, a bitter accent 
 would have aroused her virtuous anger in his defence ; 
 but the seriousness of his manner forced her into 
 simple, incredulous perplexity.
 
 268 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 " I do not understand you ! " she exclaimed ; " you 
 speak in riddles." 
 
 " Then listen." He wheeled a chair toward her, 
 and, standing himself, related, with the power of 
 intense feeling, the history of his life from the date 
 of his mother's abandonment of him to strangers, 
 through the successive periods of his school and 
 university careers, his wedded life with Laura 
 Rockwood, the long and fearful agony of her illness, 
 terminating in that action of his which had closed 
 her life. 
 
 The difference between a broad and narrow intellect 
 is so wide that it seems as if there should be a 
 separate and distinct mode of presenting facts to the 
 grasp of each. The divine charity of Rebecca 
 Wyndham's nature brought her so into sympathy 
 with all mankind that she was easily enabled to 
 survey the conditions and temptations of even the 
 lowest and most wretched of God's creatures from 
 their own point of view. 
 
 In that act of Lamar's which Robert could regard 
 only as a shocking crime, she divined the tenderness 
 of heart which gave it the semblance of a deed of 
 mercy. From the sacred, reverential manner in 
 which he handled his dead wife's name throughout 
 the recital, she could easily imagine how true and
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 269 
 
 loyal, if un impassioned, had been the nature of his 
 regard for her. With her wide, comprehensive, men- 
 tal vision, it was by no means difficult for her to 
 imagine how one, acknowledging no accountability to 
 a Creator, could count it no sin to grant a release 
 from unendurable torture to the creature. True, she 
 shuddered at this palpable proof of Lamar's agnos- 
 ticism. It is one thing to hear a man acknowledge 
 atheistical opinions, and another to see him prove 
 them. 
 
 She listened silently to Lamar's whole recital she 
 was not the kind of woman to interrupt even a trifling 
 narrative by constant ejaculations and exclamations. 
 She marked the difference of his tone in speaking of 
 Laura and of Natalie, and was quick to detect the 
 contrast between his affection for the one and passion 
 for the other. The question which Kobert had put 
 to Laraar, thereby awakening his horror of himself, 
 she regarded as quite unfair and unreasonable. She 
 perceived how it had furnished Lamar with a new 
 and terrible standpoint from which to view the one 
 supreme action of his life. She divined how his 
 reverential regard for the dead had suffered a pro- 
 found shock through the startling discovery that he 
 had found it a comparatively easy matter to volun- 
 tarily dispense with her companionship.
 
 270 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 Lamar's anger against Robert seemed all to have 
 become merged in self-reproach. He spoke of his 
 crime which was no crime to him who denied the 
 Divine Law-giver with bitter regret and remorse, for 
 of a sudden he had become morbidly jealous and dis- 
 trustful of his love for Laura. It even seemed to him 
 that he might, at the very moment of his compliance, 
 have been urged to a too-ready acquiescence in the 
 sufferer's request, by a premonition of the greater joy 
 that awaited him in his passion for Natalie. His 
 conduct appeared to him now as if prompted by 
 selfishness, and for the first time in his life he felt 
 burdened by the consciousness of guilt. 
 
 He made a thorough confession to Ehea, reserving 
 nothing of the doubts and reflections that had been 
 assailing him during the last hour, like an army of 
 baleful shadows weaponed with sharp lances from the 
 arsenal of conscience. When he paused at length, 
 she could see in the dim light how seamed and 
 haggard his face had grown since dinner. 
 
 As he stopped and turned away to the window to 
 signify that he had finished, she rose, and, coining 
 toward him, laid her strong, comforting hand on his 
 shoulder. 
 
 " Dr. Lamar," she said, " I will not deny that what 
 you have told me has pained and troubled me greatly.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 271 
 
 To one believing as I do, there can be no greater sin 
 than that of depriving a human being of his God- 
 given life ; yet, while I cannot excuse what you have 
 done, I can admit the force of extenuating circum- 
 stances, which, I can imagine, would seem all-suffi- 
 cient in your eyes." 
 
 Lamar turned and looked gratefully at her, too 
 greatly moved for speech. 
 
 " Robert has done you a great injustice," she went 
 on, "in putting to you a comparison which is so 
 widely unequal. By it he has aroused in you a 
 morbid retrospection which is most unfair to yourself. 
 Your love for your wife was a far more unselfish 
 emotion than your passion for Natalie." He started, 
 and made a gesture of denial, but she continued, 
 without giving him an opportunity to speak. " Yes, 
 it was, and I can prove it by your own confession. 
 What dictated the deed for which you are so remorse- 
 ful ? Pure mercy. It was not committed carelessly. 
 You yourself have admitted that it cost you a bitter 
 struggle to sacrifice your prejudices and affection to 
 her relief. You still feel that to her its consequences 
 could be nothing but beneficial, and yet, so believing, 
 you would refuse to grant similar peace and release 
 to Natalie o\it of a merely selfish desire to keep her 
 with you, regardless of the cost to her. Therefore is
 
 272 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 yo\ir love for our dear little one less pure, less free 
 from selfish taint, than the other. Dear friend, you 
 aife going through a severe mental crisis ; I know it, 
 and can sympathize in it. Do not let morbid and 
 unhealthy reflections warp your clear judgment." 
 
 Lamar looked at her earnestly with profound 
 questioning in his sombre eyes. 
 
 " And you would still give her to me ? " he asked 
 slowly, "with the full knowledge of my murder 
 yes," as she raised her hand in protest " that is 
 what your brother terms it; let the word stand. In 
 the full knowledge that I am the murderer of my 
 wife, that I am confessedly guilty of the most 
 heinous crime in your decalogue, you are still will- 
 ing to trust to my keeping your most precious 
 possession ? " 
 
 " Why not ? " she asked ; " your avowal has in no 
 wise lessened your moral worth in my sight." 
 
 He seized both her hands and wrung them 
 passionately. 
 
 " Indeed, you almost foi-ce me to believe in the 
 reality of your God ! " he exclaimed. 
 
 " And do you not ? " she asked quietly, but with 
 deep significance in her question. He made a quick, 
 surprised movement. 
 
 " What do you mean ? " he returned sharply.
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 273 
 
 " Only that it seems to me that there must be 
 something underlying Robert's test, to have aroused 
 such a tempest within you. Philip, is your remorse 
 and repentance wholly due to the awakened conscious- 
 ness of your shortcomings in the matter of love for 
 your wife ? Is there not a doubt as to your right to 
 have assumed God's prerogatives troubling your 
 conscience ? Are you not reluctantly yielding to a 
 belief in a future life ? " 
 
 He regarded her in amazement. 
 
 " Truly," he said, " you are a most remarkable 
 woman ! You read me more clearly than I do 
 myself. Listen, and you shall answer your own 
 question, for indeed I am unable to give you a 
 satisfactory reply. I have not consciously changed 
 my views of the future, but, Rhea, ever since Derrick 
 Grafton told me of Natalie's accident, some strange 
 force has been at work within me. What is it ? A 
 mere sentiment, a simple, irrational emotion which 
 certainly should have no weight in biassing a man's 
 opinions. Yet it is clinging and tenacious ; I cannot 
 shake it off." 
 
 He gave an impatient shrug of his broad shoulders. 
 A little gleam of comprehension came into the 
 woman's eyes. 
 
 " What is it ? " she asked quietly.
 
 274 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 " Nothing really worth speaking of ; it is only this : 
 when Grafton read me your cablegram a fearful 
 foreboding of Natalie's death came over me. I 
 suffered almost as much as if I had been really 
 assured that she had passed away. Then, all of a 
 sudden, a conviction came to me that not even death 
 itself could part us ; that even beyond the grave we 
 should be united ; and that a parting here was but 
 a temporary separation. I could not analyze the 
 sensation of this assurance, nor tell whence it came. 
 I could not rid myself of it, neither, for a time, did 
 I very much care to, so comforting was it. My 
 better judgment assures me of its irrationality, but, 
 despite every argument, the conviction remains. I 
 distrust myself and fear that I am becoming the 
 victim of sentimentality. It is rank nonsense, of 
 course, but it is singular how strong some sudden 
 impressions are." 
 
 The gleam in Khea's eyes widened into a gentle 
 smile. 
 
 " I would foster this one, if I were you," she 
 remarked. " It may prove of greater worth than you 
 imagine."
 
 DOCTOR LAM AH. 275 
 
 CHAPTER XIV. 
 
 AFTER all, Robert might have spared himself and 
 Lamar the miserable scene depicted in the last 
 chapter, for, notwithstanding the valiant fight made 
 by science against nature, Lamar's most sanguine and 
 resolute optimism could no longer blind itself to the 
 fact that day by day, hour by hour in fact, Natalie 
 was growing weaker. Her chances for recovery had 
 dwindled to such small proportions that Lamar could 
 scarcely bear to compute them. 
 
 The recuperative forces of her young body, in 
 which he had placed his strongest hope, seemed 
 utterly paralyzed and inert, and accompanying the 
 increased exhaustion and weakness came a physical 
 revolt against opiates which troubled her physicians 
 greatly. The morphine seemed utterly to lose its 
 good effect, and the nausea it induced was exceed- 
 ingly injurious to the shattered spine. 
 
 Robert left for London on the morning after his 
 outburst against Lamar. Rhea had an interview 
 with him before his departure, and remonstrated 
 so strongly with him concerning his treatment of
 
 276 DOCTOR LAM All. 
 
 his friend, that the priest took umbrage at her plain 
 speaking and left the rectory at odds with all its in- 
 mates, even including Natalie, whose condition he 
 regarded as far more hopeful than it really was, and 
 toward whom he cherished resentment for the love 
 which Rhea avowed she bore Lamar. 
 
 Irritated by an inner and unacknowledged con- 
 sciousness of his unfair and unfriendly attack upon 
 the man whom he had promised never to desert, his 
 mood at setting out was anything but an enviable 
 
 one. Rhea's severe exposition of her sentiments 
 
 
 regarding his late conduct, and the avowal of her 
 
 determination to support Lamar in his suit for 
 Natalie, provoked his angry displeasure. He felt 
 the home atmosphere thoroughly uncongenial, and, 
 in his desperate disgust of all things worldly, was 
 more prone than ever to cut himself free from tem- 
 poral ties and dedicate himself solely to the service 
 of the Church. 
 
 In the afternoon of the same day Lamar was sit- 
 ting by Natalie's bedside while Rhea sought to gain 
 a few moments' rest. The nurse who assisted in the 
 care of the sufferer had gone out for a short walk, 
 and Lamar was alone with Natalie, who lay in a deep 
 sleep. The room was utterly still, save for the girl's 
 heavy breathing, in which occasionally a plaintive,
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 277 
 
 unconscious, little moan of pain would mingle. 
 Lamar sat in the shadow with his eyes riveted upon 
 her white face, whose pure, full oval had become 
 wofully emaciated and elongated. 
 
 He, himself, appeared to have grown thin and 
 changed during the past twenty-four hours. Kobert 
 had plunged a dagger into his heart, and all night 
 the blade had been twisting and rankling in the 
 wound. His love for Natalie was assuming the 
 horrible aspect of a guilty passion, toward which he 
 had progressed over the dead body of his wife. Yet 
 so strong was this love that he could not bring him- 
 self to wish that Laura might have lived, and so 
 have precluded his experiencing it. And it was this 
 consciousness of the debt his passion owed to death, 
 a debt which, even if it were possible, he had no 
 desire to raise, that transformed the appearance of 
 his deed ; magnifying what seemed to him a simple 
 act of mercy into the horrible and unnatural pro- 
 portions of an awful crime. 
 
 His mind was a perfect battle-field of contending 
 emotions, but dominating all, rising clear and strong 
 above everything, was his great and tender love for 
 Natalie, his terrible fear and dread lest she should 
 die. 
 
 Yet he was not wholly despairing and comfortless.
 
 278 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 That little germ of conviction, of which he had told 
 Rhea, was hourly increasing in strength within him, 
 and so sweet a balm was it to his apprehensive soul, 
 that he hugged it close to his heart, giving it more 
 hospitable entertainment than he usually accorded 
 irrational and undemonstrable impressions. 
 
 He was thinking of it now as he sat watching poor 
 little Natalie in the soft September twilight. It 
 appealed to him strongly, with tenfold more power 
 than ever before, this conviction, this certainty that 
 the death, which he knew to be imminent, was power- 
 less to sever their spirits. He knew that a bond 
 existed between them which no physical causes 
 could disunite. What he had called a mere hysteri- 
 cal emotion was fast becoming a fixed belief. The 
 longer he sat and studied that lovely, unconscious 
 face, the more thoroughly convinced he became that 
 it was but the mask of a spirit which was part of 
 his own, and of which no power of heaven or earth 
 could rob him. The mask might be removed, the 
 body restored to the clay of which it was formed, 
 but the soul, the essence whose existence he must 
 admit, although it had ever escaped the researches 
 of the dissecting-knife, must and should continue 
 to abide with him through time and eternity. 
 
 It was a startling thought, and involved all sorts
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 279 
 
 of sequences; but these he thrust aside, deferring 
 their treatment until another day. The future would 
 afford ample opportunities for such work, that 
 future whose reality was to differ so widely from his 
 ideal. He drew a heavy sigh that was almost a sob. 
 Oh, Heaven ! to go back to that dull, heavy routine of 
 duty instead of the joyous existence he had pictured ! 
 
 The effect of the opiate upon the sleeper must 
 have worn away, for the slight sound evidently 
 aroused her. She stirred and lifted her heavy waxen 
 lids. 
 
 " Rhea ! " she murmured softly. 
 
 Lamar hesitated a moment. Should he disclose 
 his presence, or steal gently back out of the room 
 and summon Rhea ? He decided quickly. It could 
 do her no real injury now to discover that he was 
 there. Alas ! Nothing could harm her much now. 
 He got up and moved forward so that her eyes might 
 rest upon him. 
 
 "Natalie!" he said, while his voice shook with 
 emotion. " Do you remember me, my darling ? " 
 
 His heart throbbed exultantly with fierce pulsa- 
 tions of joy as he saw the swift gleam of glad sur- 
 prise that lighted her face. 
 
 With difficulty, for the slightest motion was pain- 
 ful, she raised her hand as if she would extend it in 
 greeting.
 
 280 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 " Kemember you ? " she murmured, while a faint, 
 a very faint, blush transgressed the purity of. her 
 skin ; " Oh, Dr. Lamar ! " 
 
 He knelt beside her, and covered her slender 
 hand with kisses, of which tender pity and solicitude 
 robbed the passion. He could not reply, fearing to 
 break down in the attempt, and so perhaps trouble 
 and agitate her; but, if glances can speak, surely 
 the steadfast yearning of his look was all-sufficient 
 to inform her of the strength and fervor of his love 
 for her. She encountered his glance with one of 
 mild reproach. 
 
 " You have been so long in coming ! " she whis- 
 pered tremulously. 
 
 His clasp tightened on her hand. 
 
 " Long ! " he exclaimed, his voice rough and broken 
 by reason of the restraint he was imposing on him- 
 self. " Long, Natalie ! It has seemed ages to me ! " 
 She smiled contentedly. It was indeed as Khea had 
 said : the girl loved him. " Natalie," he went on, 
 " my dear little one, you know what my motive was 
 in returning to England. I could not tell you when 
 I left that I loved you, that I desired nothing better 
 of life than the chance of making you my wife ; but 
 you know it now. You, doubtless, guessed it long 
 since. Tell me, my darling, have I been presumptu-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 281 
 
 cms in believing that you could care for me suffi- 
 ciently to marry me ? " 
 
 The heavy lids dropped shyly down over the 
 tender violet eyes ; for an instant there was again 
 utter silence in the room. Then the girl looked up 
 at him and he saw the tears gemming her lashes. 
 
 " No," she said, " no ; you were right. I did, I do 
 love you. I think I loved you that first time I saw 
 you standing in the garden. Do you remember, 
 you cut the roses for me ? But, oh, Philip ! you 
 should have come before ! Now, oh, love ! now, it is 
 too " She broke abruptly off, and, turning from 
 him, hid her face in the pillow. 
 
 Lamar's features assumed a set, obstinate expres- 
 sion, a look which they frequently wore when he 
 was engaged in a hand-to-hand conflict with death. 
 With a firm, gentle touch he turned her face to his 
 and covered it with passionate kisses. 
 
 " Hush, hush, my Natalie ! " he cried. " It is not 
 so. You are mine, mine, and nothing shall rob me 
 of you. You must, you shall be my wife; I swear 
 you shall ! There, my little one, I have frightened 
 you by my vehemence ; but the mere thought of 
 losing you works like madness in my brain." 
 
 And so the days wore on, and, despite Lamar's 
 efforts to hold the destroyer at bay, Natalie visibly
 
 282 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 faded. While with her his passionate dread of los- 
 ing her aroused his combativeness to such a degree 
 that it really imposed a conviction of her ultimate 
 recovery upon his suffering soul ; but with his depart- 
 ure from the sick-room, this fictitious hopefulness 
 vanished, a reaction of despair set in, and left him 
 helpless before the fact of a near parting. On such 
 occasions he was overborne by the thought of his 
 own incompetency. 
 
 The fact of his utter helplessness, of the inade- 
 quacy of all his acquired skill and learning, of the 
 valuelessness of his long experience in preserving this 
 one existence from the tyranny of death, rendered the 
 scope of human abilit}^ pitiably small in his eyes. 
 For the first time he felt the need of a recognized 
 Power against whose decrees he might protest, and 
 upon whose mercy he might call. 
 
 The acknowledgment of nature as an all-governing 
 force no longer satisfied his sore and rebellious soul. 
 She was by far too irresponsible an agent to respond 
 satisfactorily to the tide of emotions that surged 
 within him. As, day by day, he watched Natalie's 
 failing strength, his calm reason utterly betrayed his 
 sinking heart, and dispassionate reflection npon the 
 natural results of primary causes became merged in 
 involuntary outbursts directed against an unacknowl-
 
 DOCTOR AMAR. 283 
 
 edged and undefined power which, for want of a 
 fuller conception, he was fain to call Fate. 
 
 His whole being was in a chaotic state. Passion 
 warred against reason, heart against brain; doubts, 
 fears, love, sorrow, despair, and vague hope in a 
 possible future, made of this period a crisis in his 
 life, toward which all the chilling unbelief of his 
 past had been tending, and from which all the con- 
 tentment of his after-life dated. 
 
 In her periods of consciousness Natalie was very 
 exacting. Suffering and inaction were so new an 
 experience to her that she was unable to endure 
 them patiently. She showed but scant appreciation 
 of Robert's society. His increasing rigidity and 
 strictness during the past year had weaned her from 
 him very perceptibly, and his openly expressed dis- 
 approval of Dr. Lamar had given rise to many 
 spirited discussions between them. Upon Rhea she 
 vented the full measure of the capriciousness and 
 impatience born of her affliction. 
 
 Rhea it was who had always humored and indulged 
 her ; Rhea it was who had ever shielded her from the 
 slightest burden of grief or pain ; therefore it was 
 but natural that upon her should fall the brunt of 
 Natalie's rebellion against this terrible weight of suf- 
 fering. Needless is it to say that no scape-goat ever
 
 284 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 received a heavy portion of another's yoke more 
 willingly than did this strong-spirited, unselfish elder 
 sister. 
 
 In Lamar's presence alone poor Natalie seemed to 
 find peace and pleasure. Now that the boon of 
 oblivion was largely denied her, she suffered so ter- 
 ribly that it demanded iron self-control in those who 
 loved and waited upon her, to enable them to com- 
 mand their pity and sympathy sufficiently to permit 
 of their remaining to witness her agony. 
 
 She clung to Lamar with passionate tenacity, and 
 so grudged every instant of his absence, that it was 
 only in moments of her unconsciousness that he 
 could gain the rest which was an absolute necessity. 
 In her helplessness and pain she showed no hesita- 
 tion in demonstrating the whole depth of her love 
 for him, and in his strength and tenderness her 
 weakness found a much-needed support. 
 
 She never again made allusion to the probable ter- 
 mination of her accident, and never pained him by 
 questions regarding her condition, or discussions as 
 to their future. It was an oft-mooted question be- 
 tween him and Rhea whether she realized her danger 
 and anticipated its fatal issue. 
 
 That she spent much time in serious thought was 
 evident to both, and at intervals she exhibited a sin-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 285 
 
 gular hysteria that pei-plexed them greatly. There 
 seemed to be some thought or care troubling her, 
 which she withheld from their knowledge. 
 
 When she talked with Lamar it was always of the 
 past, never of the future. There was no pleasure to 
 her now so great as that of listening to the story of 
 the conception and growth of his love for herself. 
 She loved to hear him tell how great a nuisance he 
 had, at first, considered the fact of her existence ; 
 and the pleased smile with which she listened to his 
 confession of the weakness that had made the past 
 year a term of impatiently endured probation would 
 melt into a sad fusion of unshed tears as he described 
 the loving labor and solicitude he had spent upon his 
 home, that it should be bright and beautiful enough 
 for her. 
 
 She would have him draw a word picture of every 
 room, until she came to know them as well, almost, 
 as he ; and, if she noticed the tremor that would 
 come into his voice as he recalled his never-to-be- 
 fultilled hopes and dreams, she neither alluded to it, 
 nor appeared to remark it. 
 
 Kobert came down to Fordham but once after that 
 stormy interview with Lamar, and then only to bid 
 farewell to his sisters. He was about to depart for 
 America, by desire of his order. Father Gordon, the
 
 286 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 head of the Society of St. Paul, had been for some 
 time in deep perplexity regarding a branch mission 
 which had been established in America. A division 
 of sentiment and opinion had created much disaffec- 
 tion among its members, and Father Gordon felt the 
 necessity of settling the affair in person. 
 
 Having great faith in Father Wyndham's zeal and 
 discretion, he related to him his desires and purposes 
 regarding the American institution, supplementing 
 his narrative with a proposal which flattered and 
 soothed the wounded vanity and self-esteem of the 
 priest. 
 
 " I wish to take with me a man whom I can leave 
 behind to maintain the order and discipline that I 
 hope to establish," he said. "I cannot very well 
 spare any of the older brothers from the work they 
 are now doing, and I know of none among the 
 younger ones who is so well calculated as you for my 
 purpose. I do not require that you shall go with 
 me, but I shall be very glad if you are willing to do 
 so." 
 
 Here was a chance for Robert to revenge himself 
 upon the whole household at Fordham, by proving 
 to them that he recognized of how little account 
 they held him. The natural hesitation he had 
 hitherto shown to cut himself wholly adrift from his
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 287 
 
 family, they themselves had induced him to over- 
 come. The grief which he knew Ehea, in particular, 
 would feel at this step on his part, he considered but 
 a well-merited punishment for her espousal of Lamar. 
 Let her find comfort, if she could, in the unholy 
 union she was sanctioning. As to Natalie, she would 
 recover and marry Lamar, thus putting as wide a 
 gulf between herself and him as the ocean which he 
 was about to cross. Therefore he felt himself wholly 
 justified in accepting Father Gordon's offer. 
 
 If any be disposed to carp at the vindictive temper 
 and lack of holiness of Kobert Wyndham's spirit, 
 let them recall the causes which had driven him to 
 his new vocation. He had sought religious seclusion, 
 not in a state of pure, disinterested charity toward 
 suffering humanity, but in a condition of acute 
 mental perturbation induced by outraged passion, 
 disgust of the world, and rebellion at its treatment 
 of him. 
 
 His love for Eleanor Dunstane had embittered his 
 whole soul, and the reactionary effect upon his nature 
 had been most unfortunate. He had felt a momen- 
 tary remorse as he saw Lamar sink beneath the blow 
 he had dealt him, and a short-lived return of his old 
 affection had tempted him to recall his thrust, and 
 acknowledge fully the integrity and nobility of his
 
 288 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 friend's nature. He had even been so far influenced 
 by this impulse as to cry out Lamar's name in a tone 
 of bitter self-reproach, but Lamar's newly awakened 
 remorse had rendered him deaf to any voice but that 
 of conscience. 
 
 Rhea accepted the tidings of Robert's resolve 
 calmly. She had said her real farewell to the 
 brother who had been her beloved and life-long com- 
 panion months ago. This rigid priest was well-nigh 
 a stranger to her. Besides, Natalie's failing condi- 
 tion absorbed her to the exclusion of every other 
 consideration. She fully acquainted her brother 
 with the utterly hopeless nature of the case, and 
 assured him that his farewell of Natalie must be a 
 final one; but Robert refused to believe her. He 
 was convinced that recovery, though it undoubtedly 
 would be a slow process, was more than probable, 
 and insisted that Rhea only wished to dissuade him 
 from his project. Therefore he departed, leaving 
 Lamar to fill his- place in the household, and furnish 
 Rhea with the brotherly support he had withdrawn. 
 
 Lamar came to her one morning with a request, 
 which moved them both beyond anything which had 
 yet occurred. He had been alone with Natalie while 
 the nurse took her usual rest, Rhea being busied 
 about household affairs.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 289 
 
 "Rhea," he said, and his voice broke a little, "sh& 
 has asked me to marry her at once may I ? " 
 
 They looked at each other with white faces and 
 trembling lips these two who loved Natalie so 
 well. Only too clearly was their doubt answered 
 now. They knew that nothing but a realization of 
 her approaching death would have prompted such a 
 request. 
 
 Rhea could not speak, she simply bowed her head ; 
 and with one short, deep sob Lamar caught her in 
 his arms and held her to him in a close, warm clasp. 
 
 " God help you both ! " Rhea whispered at last, 
 when she could find command of her voice. 
 
 And so there was the simplest sort of marriage 
 ceremony performed in the little chamber which had 
 been the girl's from her early childhood, and Natalie 
 Wyndham became Natalie Lamar for the few days 
 that yet remained to her of life. 
 
 And these days were very few now. As they were 
 finally obliged to abandon the use of morphia, her 
 sufferings became intolerable ; and poor little Natalie 
 was not of Laura Lamar's calibre. In her delicate, 
 tortured frame there did not exist a reserve fund of 
 strength of will to supplement the weakness of body. 
 There was little of the martyr spirit in this ten- 
 derly nurtured young English maiden. Her moans
 
 290 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 and outcries wrung Lamar's very soul. She seemed 
 so frail, so gentle, and tender a thing to have been so 
 afflicted. 
 
 One day, after a fearful paroxysm of suffering, she 
 turned upon him suddenly with fear and reproach in 
 her eyes. 
 
 " I am dying, Philip," she said in a frightened 
 whisper, "and I am afraid. You have made me so. 
 I do not know where I am going, and I am afraid 
 to die alone." 
 
 Lamar started ; she had plunged a dagger into his 
 heart. 
 
 " Natalie ! " he cried, half in protest, half in inter- 
 rogation. 
 
 She continued to gaze at him with wide, terrified 
 eyes. 
 
 " Yes," she repeated shudderingly, " you have 
 made me doubtful of heaven. What if there be no 
 such place, and I am going out into darkness ? 
 Philip, Philip, keep me here ; you can with all your 
 skill ! Keep me ; don't let me die ! I am afraid, I 
 tell you, horribly afraid ! " 
 
 He wrapped his arms around her and held her 
 close to him, while the blade seemed to turn and 
 twist itself about in his soul. Was it so then ? 
 Had he indeed, unconsciously, stolen from this child
 
 DOCTOR LAM AS. 291 
 
 the dearest and most precious possession she owned, 
 having naught to substitute in its place ? Had 
 Robert been right, after all, in dreading the effect of 
 his influence upon her plastic nature ? 
 
 A bitter consciousness of irreparable injury to her 
 overwhelmed him. What assurances had he to offer 
 her now in place of that beautiful, comforting belief 
 of which he had deprived her? Of what value were 
 his cold, cheerless theories of life and its ultimate 
 issue, to this timid, frightened soul shuddering upon 
 the brink of eternity ? He could feel her trembling 
 in his arms, and yet he was powerless to comfort 
 her. 
 
 " Philip," she cried again, " you are so clever, so 
 skilful ; can't you do anything to save me ? I want 
 to live ! I am so young ! You may do anything to 
 me ; perform any operation. I will bear any amount 
 of pain only let me live. Can't you, Philip, can't 
 you?" 
 
 His silence was her only answer. She became 
 impatient, and withdrew herself from his arms. 
 
 " You can do nothing ! " she exclaimed in great 
 agitation. "And yet you used to pretend to be so 
 much wiser than other men. You used to scorn men 
 who acknowledged a higher power and bowed in sub- 
 mission to it, and yet you are just as helpless as they
 
 292 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 when a time of need comes. Oh, I want papa, I 
 want Robert, I want Rhea, any one who can tell me 
 that I am not going to be lost forever, that I am not 
 going out into a horrible darkness, that I shall not be 
 parted forever from you and every one I love ! " 
 
 She was terribly excited, and Lamar, fearful of the 
 consequences of such agitation, tried to soothe and 
 quiet her, but in vain. 
 
 " Go, go," she cried urgently, " go and bring Rhea 
 to me. She can make me believe again ; she can 
 pray and make me feel that there is a God some- 
 where. Hurry, Philip ; bring Rhea here quickly ! " 
 
 Besides his self-reproach, there was a gnawing 
 jealousy tormenting Lamar. He would be at this 
 time all in all to Natalie, and the knowledge that his 
 love was not wholly sufficient to her added a fierce 
 pang to his suffering. 
 
 The first symptom of unfriendliness that Rebecca 
 Wyndham ever manifested toward Lamar showed 
 itself upon this occasion. When he sought her, in 
 fulfilment of Natalie's request, he was obliged to 
 confess to her the doubts which were torturing the 
 sufferer. A quick flash of resentment came into 
 Rhea's usually calm, kind eyes. 
 
 "Oh, Dr. Lamar!" she said, "to think that you 
 should have done this thing ! You, whom we trusted 
 so fully ! "
 
 DOCTOR LAM AU. 293 
 
 Then she went up to Natalie's chamber, while 
 Lainar passed out into the forlorn and neglected 
 garden, and paced up and down, distressed beyond 
 measure at the discovery he had made. He was 
 shocked, surprised, stunned, by the knowledge that 
 the seed which he had unintentionally sowed had 
 germinated into a weed of poisonous aspect. Rhea's 
 reproach stung him to the marrow. To one of his 
 conscientious rectitude of purpose it was a bitter 
 reflection that he would be held guilty of such a 
 breach of faith. 
 
 The end came a day or two later. Lamar and 
 Rhea were both with Natalie, for she had had a day 
 of intense agony. Toward evening the pain seemed 
 to leave her, and she slept a good deal. The two 
 watchers were standing at the open window convers- 
 ing in hushed whispers, when suddenly they heard 
 her voice, clear and strong as in the olden time, call- 
 ing them. 
 
 "Rhea! Philip!" she said, "come here; I want 
 you ! " 
 
 They hastened to her, and she lifted her arms and 
 laid them about Rhea's neck as she had been used to 
 do when a child. 
 
 " It is all right, Becky ! " she exclaimed almost joy- 
 fully, "papa has been with me, and I don't mind
 
 294 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 going now. Good-by, Becky dear ! " Then she loos- 
 ened her clasp and turned to Lamar. "Philip, my 
 husband ! " she said, and the loving inflection of the 
 voice as it tenderly caressed the title brought the 
 tears to her listeners' eyes, " you will know it some 
 day. Love, it is so much easier to believe. How 
 can one die without the help of Christ ? " 
 
 There was a new radiance and peace on her face 
 that was well-nigh unearthly, and impressed Lamar 
 strangely. He scarcely dared touch her, she seemed 
 so far removed from him ; but, as she lay looking into 
 his suffering face with an earnest gaze of tender pity 
 and compassion, she reached out and took into her 
 weak clasp his large, strong hand. 
 
 " Philip," she said, in so low a tone that he had to 
 bend his head to hear, " we love each other dearly, 
 do we not ? " 
 
 His grasp tightened on her hand, and his heaving 
 chest answered her sufficiently. 
 
 " You will not like it if I claim my love to be the 
 strongei'," she went on, " and yet I think it is ; for 
 you feel that yours can die with your body, while I 
 know that mine will outlive death and the grave, and 
 exist throughout eternity." She smiled triumphantly, 
 but waited for no response. If she had, she must 
 have waited in vain, for Lamar, on his knees by the
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 295 
 
 bedside, had buried his face in the coverings, utterly 
 unable to reply to the sweet, tranquil tones. "Rhea," 
 she went on, " now that you and I think alike again, 
 I want you to tell Philip what it *is we believe. 
 Listen, my husband ! " 
 
 She laid her hand softly, caressingly, oh the man's 
 bowed head, while Rhea, standing at the foot of 
 the bed, repeated in a full, earnest voice the glorious, 
 simple words of the Apostles' Creed. When she 
 finished, Natalie thanked her lovingly, then, turning 
 to Lamar who still remained silent and motionless, 
 
 " There, dearest ! " she exclaimed. " That is my 
 belief. Now let us hear yours, that we may judge 
 between them." 
 
 There was a hushed stillness in the little room as 
 the two women awaited Lamar's reply. It was slow 
 in forthcoming, and a white, ashy hue of exhaustion 
 was beginning to settle down on Natalie's face, when 
 Lamar suddenly rose to his feet. A flush was on his 
 haggard features, and a new light of conviction strug- 
 gled through the shadows that had long darkened 
 his eyes. 
 
 He folded his arms across his breast, in the attitude 
 of one who has come to a fixed decision, then, while 
 Rhea watched anxiously lest the enunciation of some 
 heresy should disturb the tranquillized spirit of the
 
 296 DOCTOR LANAR. 
 
 dying girl, and Natalie battled with the fast-coming 
 shadows of death, he exclaimed in a low, steady, and 
 resolute voice, 
 
 " I believe ift God, the Father Almighty, maker of 
 heaven and earth ! " 
 
 A cry of joy rang through the room. 
 
 " Philip, my husband ! Thank God ! oh, thank " 
 
 There was a stifled, choking sound. Lamar, only 
 too familiar with its ominous significance, sprang 
 forward and caught up Natalie in his arms. A 
 moment he held her gently, then snatched the poor, 
 unconscious body to him with passionate force, and 
 covered the sweet, lifeless lips with kisses. 
 
 "Natalie, my little one!" he cried; "oh, God! 
 Give her back to me, give her back to me ! "
 
 DOCTOR LAM AIL 297 
 
 CHAPTER XV. 
 
 IT is not to be inferred that Lamar's conversion 
 was due to a sudden impulse induced by a dramatic 
 situation or a hysterical mental condition, for the 
 fact was nothing of the kind. That the cause which 
 had effected his change of view was a sentimental 
 one, cannot be denied ; but is not sentiment the very 
 essence of spiritual belief ? In a matter unsubstan- 
 tiated by very valid proof, and based largely upon 
 faith in itself a purely sentimental quality is it 
 not very natural that conversion should be due to 
 emotional causes ? Lamar's is not the only case in 
 which the soul's necessity has effected the result 
 which polemical discussion has failed to accomplish. 
 
 Dating from Grafton's visit to him in New York, 
 a subtle influence had been at work within him. 
 The conviction that his love for Natalie was no 
 earth-born passion, but something diviner, more 
 enduring than life itself, had wrought a marvellous 
 change in his carefully worked-out conclusions that 
 life ends at the portals of death. In a few short 
 weeks his hitherto satisfactory solution of the great
 
 298 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 problem of eternity had become a mere jangle of 
 words, utterly bereft of meaning to one who had 
 come into the heritage of a happier conviction. 
 Death, which heretofore he had so glibly defined as 
 extinction, now became a word to be construed with 
 exceeding difficulty, filled with wondrous possibilities 
 and perplexities, more mysterious but infinitely more 
 hopeful than of old. 
 
 His soul had been in a chaotic condition for weeks. 
 That supreme moment in Natalie's death-chamber 
 had but focussed into concise expression all the 
 struggling tendencies created by his intense despair. 
 But his acceptance of Natalie's creed halted at the 
 point at which he ceased to repeat llhea's words. 
 Honestly and conscientiously, uninfluenced by any 
 desire to please Natalie, he could acknowledge the 
 faith in a Creator, a spontaneous conviction, before 
 whose holy mystery reason veiled her keen, pene- 
 trating eyes. 
 
 Beyond this point he never proceeded. The long 
 after-years of earnest study and research never suc- 
 ceeded in convincing him of the truth of the legen- 
 dary birth and career of Christ. 
 
 Having succumbed to the necessity of admitting 
 the existence of a God, it may seem that it had been 
 an easy thing for him to go a step further and admit
 
 DOCTOR LAMAK. 299 
 
 the possibility of the Immaculate Conception, and its 
 concomitant miracles ; not so. In view of this mag- 
 nificent and orderly plan of creation, it is easy and 
 natural for even a scientist to acknowledge the pos- 
 sibility of a governing force ; in response to the loud 
 and imperious demands of a spirit which evades 
 dissection, a materialist may even rationally concur 
 in the mystic hopes its needs inspire. Such simple 
 faith outrages none of the clear deductions of reason, 
 and fails to provoke antagonism in the mind. But 
 when all the complexities and abstractions, all the 
 contradictions and suppositions, involved in the idea 
 of the atonement presented themselves to Lamar's 
 mind, his reason rose in arms and refused to accept 
 what it considered a fabulous hypothesis. 
 
 He contented himself with acknowledging and 
 worshipping but one Person, the Lord, who had 
 declared, " Thou shalt have no other Gods but me." 
 To his conception of a Deity there needed no media- 
 tor. Between himself and the great All-Father, who 
 was becoming so great a Personality to him that he 
 wondered at his ever having denied it, so close a bond 
 was establishing itself that he felt no need of an 
 intercessor. 
 
 Soon after Natalie's funeral he returned to America, 
 and took rooms at a hotel in New York, for the
 
 300 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 purpose of winding up his practice ; for he could not 
 bring himself to re-enter the house in Forty-second 
 Street, shrinking from the necessity of looking upon 
 the objects he had consecrated to her use. 
 
 Her death had been a terrible blow to him, and he 
 found it exceedingly difficult to re-adjust his altered 
 plan of life. Even his beloved profession had be- 
 come distasteful, and, there being no necessity for 
 him to continue in it, he relinquished it to others. 
 In abandoning its duties he found himself at large, 
 as it were, with an annoy ingly awkward amount of 
 spare time upon his hands which he found much diffi- 
 culty in disposing of. 
 
 The exigencies of Natalie's illness and death had 
 been too engrossing to permit of any extensive retro- 
 spection ; but now that he found this to be the chief 
 occupation of his existence, he became haunted by 
 the thought of his first wife. After the violence of 
 his grief for Natalie had subsided, it was singular 
 how thoroughly and incessantly the image of Laura 
 possessed him. 
 
 His recollections of her became shrouded in self- 
 reproach. With the perception of his accountability 
 to a higher Power had come an acknowledgment of 
 sin in transgressing His laws. A morbid and wholly 
 unreasonable idea tortured him : that he had been
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 301 
 
 glad to yield to Laura's request; that he had felt 
 the inadequacy of her love to satisfy him ; and that 
 he had been urged, perchance, by the base promptings 
 of his lower nature, to avail himself with undue 
 eagerness of the opportunity offered to free himself 
 from an unsatisfying union. 
 
 He was constantly haunted by the suggestion that, 
 had he not taken the disposal of Laura's life into his 
 own hands, she might be still alive to gain, like him- 
 self, a belief in the life to come. He failed to realize 
 the difference in their natures, and to admit the 
 leaven of sentimentality which, possessed by him, 
 was so wholly lacking in her that it is doubtful if 
 the age of Methuselah would have wrought a change 
 in her firm convictions. 
 
 It seemed to him that the case against himself was 
 proved by the celerity with which he had fallen in 
 love with Natalie Wyndham. The fact of his mar- 
 riage with her within two years of his widowhood 
 loomed before him like a hideous monster of infi- 
 delity. He tried in various ways to rid himself 
 of the burden of remorseful reminiscences. He 
 travelled widely ; devoted himself assiduously to 
 the study of abstruse works of theology, which 
 should guide him rationally upon the path in which 
 he had set his feet.
 
 302 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Truth had ever been his mistress, and he tore 
 with ruthless hands every veil which might serve 
 
 to obscure her features from his view. He would 
 
 
 
 have in his religion no dogmas, theories, or suppo- 
 sitions, which cringed beneath the searching gaze 
 of her clear eyes. He sought the society of men 
 of God, hoping to discover among their various 
 doctrines one that might wholly commend itself to 
 his intelligence ; but although here and there he 
 found an occasional idea of the Divine Mystery that 
 seemed comparatively reconcilable with his own 
 views regarding the scheme of creation, yet even 
 in these isolated instances something transpired to 
 disappoint and dissatisfy him. 
 
 He could not understand how it was that those 
 whose life-business it had been to study and glorify 
 their Maker could hold to a conception of Him so 
 vastly inferior to that which satisfied himself, who 
 .had been a life-long sceptic. 
 
 Vast deeds of charity and benevolence ; the wide 
 and noble cultivation of the talents with which God 
 had endowed men ; the aggrandizement of the world 
 He had created; earnest and sincere, if however 
 humble, collaboration in the mighty work He had 
 undertaken; these, and these alone, seemed to him 
 fitting and appropriate tributes of reverence and 
 devotion from creatures to their Creator.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 303 
 
 The narrowness of creeds made him distrustful 
 of their worth; the self-righteousness of professing 
 Christians rendered him suspicious of their charity. 
 He frankly admitted to those of his former friends 
 whom he now occasionally ran across, that he had 
 become cured of his agnosticism ; but when they 
 asked for explanation of the change in him and 
 exposition of his present opinions, he held up his 
 hand with a gesture significant of his inability to 
 inform them satisfactorily. 
 
 With his mind occupied with these two subjects, 
 his wrong to Laura and speculation upon the Divin- 
 ity, Lamar wandered from country to country, caring 
 little for what he saw or experienced, too restless 
 and unhappy to return to his own land, and finding 
 but one real pleasure left him that which he 
 derived from Rhea's long and frequent letters. Only 
 on the occasions of the receipt of these did he per- 
 mit his mind to dwell upon Natalie. At other times 
 the thought of Laura obtruded itself between him 
 and the indulgence of his sad, sweet memories of 
 the poor little English flower whose perfume had 
 so enriched his life. 
 
 The conviction of God's existence did not, as 
 Christians are wont to affirm, beget in him an imme- 
 diate and blissful exaltation of soul. Rather, it pro-
 
 304 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 duced in his mind a disturbed and troubled condition 
 of perplexity, which the slow hand of time alone 
 could straighten into order and harmony. 
 
 One day, in Paris, he made a discovery which gave 
 him genuine delight : it was Kenan's " Vie de Jesus" 
 which he happened never to have read. The French- 
 man's views of Christ's life found an echo in his 
 own intelligence. He felt an impulse to visit the 
 Holy Land and imitate Kenan's example, by study- 
 ing the history of the Divine Man on the very spots 
 made sacred by His footsteps. He spent one winter 
 in this work, and in a little village on the Sea of 
 Galilee, with Kenan in one hand and the Bible in 
 the other, made intimate acquaintance with that 
 perfect life. 
 
 He returned to Europe with a clearer conception 
 of the subject which so profoundly interested him. 
 It was now two years since Natalie's death, and 
 Lamar's friends, who had not seen him during 
 the interval, were greatly shocked by his altered 
 appearance. 
 
 Though just turned forty, his dark hair had almost 
 wholly changed to silver ; his strong, upright frame 
 had acquired an habitual stoop in the shoulders ; 
 his clear, gray eyes had lost their fire and proud 
 confidence ; and the lines of his face, hitherto firm
 
 DOCTOR LAM AIL 305 
 
 and resolute, now drooped with weary melancholy 
 and unavailing regret. He looked what he was 
 a man haunted by memory. 
 
 One day, in Koine, an accident occurred, which 
 resulted in his return to America. He was stopping 
 at a hotel much frequented by Englishmen, and 
 was trying to find occupation in studying up the 
 ancient history of the city. He had been thus 
 employed some three weeks, when, late one night 
 as he was about retiring, there came an imperative 
 and hasty knock at his door. 
 
 Answering the summons, he discovered standing 
 without in the corridor a French maid whom he 
 had occasionally seen flitting about the hotel, and 
 whom he knew to be the servant of a lately arrived 
 English lady. The woman was so terrified as to be 
 incoherent. 
 
 After many attempts to discover the object of her 
 errand, Lamar finally disengaged it from amid the 
 chorus of exclamations and ejaculations which ob- 
 cured it. Her mistress, " Milady," who had come 
 to Rome on account of consumptive tendencies, had 
 been suddenly seized with a violent hemorrhage. 
 t Milord " was absent, and the maid knew not where 
 to send for him.. She had discovered a day or two 
 before, that Monsieur le doctenr Lamar was an
 
 306 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 Englishman, "n'est ce pas, Monsieur?" and she had 
 ventured to come to his appartement in order to beg 
 him to go to Milady's assistance. 
 
 Though somewhat annoyed by the circumstance, 
 Lamar was too true a physician and too humane a 
 man not to respond to so urgent an appeal. He 
 signified his willingness to go to the lady's relief, 
 and was at once escorted by the terrified maid to a 
 neighboring suite. 
 
 Passing through an untenanted salon and ante- 
 chamber, they entered the room where the sufferer 
 lay, still and unconscious, upon her bed. There were 
 ominous dark stains upon her dainty ncylige, and 
 the same significant traces crimsoned the white 
 counterpane. The hemorrhage had ceased, but the 
 violence of its nature was demonstrated by the utter 
 prostration of its victim. 
 
 Whispering a few brief instructions to the maid, 
 Lamar approached the bed, and was about to lay 
 his fingers upon the cold, still wrist, when he drew 
 back, uttering a sharp exclamation. He could not 
 be mistaken ! He leaned a little nearer to gain a 
 better view no, the identity of that white, beauti- 
 ful face, emaciated though it was, was clear enough. 
 The wasted consumptive, the poor, stricken, English 
 Milady, lying there with the shadow of death al-
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 307 
 
 ready veiling her radiant beauty, was none other 
 than Eleanor, Lady Parker. 
 
 She was terribly changed : lovely still, but with a 
 sad, ethereal loveliness that provoked pity instead of 
 admiration. Suffering, both physical and mental, 
 was betrayed in every line of her wan face. 
 
 Fearful lest returning consciousness should bring 
 with it a recognition that might entail agitation, 
 from the -associations it would doubtless provoke, 
 Lamar, after applying certain restoratives, withdrew 
 from the chamber, and explaining to the maid that 
 he feared a discovery of his presence might agitate 
 her mistress, he gave her very minute and careful 
 directions, whose fulfilment he awaited in the small, 
 adjoining ante-room. 
 
 Here he lingered until he was quite assured that 
 his instructions had been faithfully obeyed, and 
 that the invalid was sufficiently comfortable to per- 
 mit of his departure. Then, after bestowing certain 
 injunctions upon the Frenchwoman as to the future 
 care of her mistress, and announcing his intention 
 of paying Lady Parker a visit on the following day, 
 he returned to his own apartments, to sit late into 
 the night, reliving that happy summer-tide at Ford- 
 ham, pondering upon the evident shipwreck that 
 Eleanor Dunstane had made of her life, and rumi-
 
 308 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 nating upon the events which had made strangers 
 of himself and Robert Wyndham. 
 
 When, the next afternoon, he made a formal call 
 upon Lady Parker, he was received by her husband 
 with urbane courtesy, tinged, however, with that 
 suspiciousness which marks an Englishman's recep- 
 tion of the advances of an unaccredited stranger. 
 
 "I am exceedingly indebted to you, Dr. Lamar," 
 he said with formal politeness, "for having come 
 to Lady Parker's assistance. Her maid, like most 
 Frenchwomen in cases of emergency, completely 
 lost her head, else she would have remembered to 
 send for Dr. Rexford, the practitioner to whose care 
 my wife was recommended by our family physician. 
 You will permit me, sir ? " 
 
 He held out a small envelope to Lamar, who, how- 
 ever, declined to accept it, while at the same time 
 he replied to the obvious hint couched in Lord 
 Parker's remarks. 
 
 "Pardon me," he said, waving the fee aside, "I 
 am no longer a practising physician, having aban- 
 doned my profession some time since ; yet I am 
 always glad to render assistance when it is needed. 
 Having had the honor of knowing Lady Parker pre- 
 vious to her marriage, I was especially pleased to be 
 at hand to serve her."
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 309 
 
 Of course Lord Parker acquiesced in Lamar's re- 
 fusal, and acknowledged his indebtedness in very 
 suave terms; meanwhile, scanning his visitor's face 
 in the vain endeavor to place him. 
 
 " I think I never have had the honor of meeting 
 you before, sir?" he remarked finally, failing to 
 discover a clew in the other's unfamiliar features. 
 
 Lamar shook his head. 
 
 "No," he replied; "I am an American, and had 
 the pleasure of meeting Lady Parker during a visit 
 to Fordham rectory." 
 
 " Ah ! " Lord Parker's drawling exclamation was 
 significant. Americans were obnoxious to him ; 
 doubly so when they chanced to be friends of 
 the Wyndhams. 
 
 He could not very well refuse Lamar permission 
 to see Lady Parker, however, and so, having sum- 
 moned the maid to prepare her mistress to receive 
 a visitor, he excused himself and went out. Almost 
 immediately after, Lady Parker entered the salon, 
 leaning heavily upon her maid's arm. for support. 
 As her eyes fell upon him, she gave a little cry. 
 
 " Dr. Lamar ! " she exclaimed feebly, " is it pos- 
 sible ! Julie told me it was an English physician 
 whom she summoned." 
 
 She glanced at him apprehensively, withdrawing
 
 310 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 the hand that she had instinctively extended in 
 recognition of his services, afraid lest the Wyndhams 
 should have prejudiced him against her. But the 
 indignation and resentment with which Lamar had 
 regarded her had been transformed, the night before, 
 into infinite sympathy. So plainly evident were the 
 traces of the retribution which she had endured in 
 the bitter consequences of a loveless marriage, that 
 even the sternest moralist could have had no heart 
 to judge her harshly. 
 
 With a few cordial words he reassured her as to 
 his attitude toward her, and the warm interest he 
 manifested in her condition was, apparently, exceed- 
 ingly grateful to her. They had a long, long talk 
 together, although he endeavored in vain to prevent 
 her exerting herself. 
 
 " There is no harm in it," she insisted. " I must 
 talk to you ; I have so much to say, and you are so 
 kind to me. It will be a positive relief to speak 
 my heart to some one. Dr. Lamar, where is Robert 
 Wyndham ? " 
 
 He told her what he knew of the priest's present 
 life, and acknowledged the breach in their friendship. 
 This was news, and unwelcome news, to her ; for 
 she was well aware how deeply attached Robert 
 Wyndham had been to Lamar, and deprecated any 
 rupture between them.
 
 DOCTOR LAM All. 311 
 
 " Oh, I am sorry, bitterly sorry," she said sadly ; 
 " for I know how greatly he valued your friendship ! 
 Dr. Lamar, I fully realize that you must condemn me 
 for iny conduct to Robert ; but ah ! your condemna- 
 tion cannot exceed mine. The proof of my remorse 
 lies in my present condition. If I might only see 
 him once more, to tell him of my regret and sorrow 
 for the pain I have caused him, I could die easier, 
 I think. But it is impossible. I have tried to 
 induce Lord Parker to take me to America, but he 
 will not do it. He may suspect my purpose, for he 
 is not free from jealousy of Robert, even yet." 
 
 She sighed heavily, and Lamar, noting the increase 
 of color in her hollow cheeks and the feverish glow 
 in her eyes, rose, and would not permit himself to 
 be dissuaded from going, promising to come again. 
 
 Their accidental meeting was a happy one, pro- 
 ductive of comfort to both. Lord Parker was won to 
 consent that Eleanor should receive Lamar's visits, 
 and these became of frequent occurrence. They 
 had much in common, and each touched so gently 
 and tenderly upon the sorrows of the other, that 
 the supersensitive nerves of both became soothed, 
 instead of irritated, by familiar and sympathetic 
 contact. 
 
 Lady Parker's condition of health showed the
 
 312 DOCTOR LAM AE. 
 
 usual fluctuations which characterize consumption. 
 She was now apparently as well as ever, brilliant 
 and beautiful, with the flush of mock health on her 
 face ; again Lamar would hear that she was very 
 ill, and the doctors feared an immediate and fatal 
 change. 
 
 The Parkers had left the hotel, and had estab- 
 lished themselves in an old Italian palace where 
 greater exclusiveness and quiet were attainable. 
 Eleanor was now under the care of Dr. Kexford, 
 the resident English physician of whom Lord Parker 
 had spoken to Lamar. 
 
 The latter's pity for Eleanor was extreme. He 
 could see how utterly uncongenial her husband was 
 in every respect, and he sympathized deeply with 
 the burden of loneliness and remorse she was endur- 
 ing. He had not seen her for nearly ten days, 
 having been denied admission when he had pre- 
 sented himself at her door, on the score of increased 
 illness, when, one day, on returning to his hotel 
 from an archaeological expedition, he found a note 
 from her awaiting him. It contained but a few 
 pencilled lines, and these had evidently been written 
 by a weak and trembling hand. 
 
 " Come to me," it said. " I must see you.at once." 
 
 As he entered the old palace which the Parkers
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 313 
 
 had made their temporary home, he discovered prep- 
 arations for departure. Trunks, strapped and ready 
 for transportation, stood in the hall-ways, and the 
 salon presented a bare and denuded appearance, 
 unlike its usual cheery aspect. Eleanor did not 
 keep him waiting a moment. She came into the 
 apartment with a slow, feeble step, and her evident 
 weakness caused Lamar to spring forward to her 
 support. 
 
 She had changed much, even during those few 
 days ; changed terribly and significantly, to Lamar's 
 trained observation. Her face was deadly white, 
 untinged by the slightest suggestion of its usual 
 hectic flush ; her cheeks had fallen in, and her thin 
 lips were stretched 1 so tightly across the teeth as to 
 disclose their regularity beneath the skin ; her great 
 blue eyes looked unnaturally large and lustreless ; 
 and the hand she extended was emaciated and 
 fleshless as a bird's claw. 
 
 She smiled wanly at him, with a piteous attempt 
 at cheerfulness, tried to speak a few words of wel- 
 come, and suddenly burst into a flood of tears. Her 
 sobs were bitter, deep, and heart-rending, and in- 
 duced a fit of coughing that racked her slight frame. 
 She sank upon a couch, and besought Lamar to have 
 patience with her until she should recover herself.
 
 314 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Presently the paroxysm passed, and she smiled again, 
 though Lamar thought he could better endure the 
 tears than that heart-breaking apology for mirth. 
 She beckoned him to a seat beside her on the 
 lounge, and laid a hot, feverish hand on his. 
 
 " Forgive me, " she said ; " but I am quite un- 
 nerved. The physician here has decided that Koine 
 is too cold for me, and Lord Parker wishes to 
 leave at once for Mentone. Dr. Lamar, I could 
 not go without seeing you again. It is for the last 
 time." 
 
 Lamar tried to reassure her, but she forbade 
 him. 
 
 " Don't try to deceive me," she said, " and don't 
 misinterpret my emotion. I do not weep at the 
 thought of death ; I am quite willing to go. I am 
 tired, horribly tired, of this world. But once in a 
 while once in a while, my God! what am I saying ! 
 Always, every moment of my existence, I am assailed 
 by the recollection of the utter wreck I have made 
 of my life. To think that I had an opportunity of 
 moulding it as I would, and have made this of it ! !; 
 She pointed to herself with a gesture of loathing, 
 then recovered her self-control and ordinary calm- 
 ness, and proceeded : " Dr. Lamar, I want you to do 
 something for me. The rules of the order of which
 
 DOCTOR LAM AU. 315 
 
 Robert is a member, do not enforce confession, 
 though they prescribe it as a salutary action. There 
 is but one priest in this world to whom I would con- 
 fess my miserable sins. I wish to send him a letter 
 of farewell and humiliation. Will you take it to 
 him, Dr. Lamar ?" 
 
 Lamar hesitated. He felt so little in sympathy 
 with this ritualistic priest that he did not care to be 
 again brought in contact with him. Besides, he had 
 no intention of returning to America at present. 
 But the eager wistfulness of those great, beseeching 
 eyes constrained him. 
 
 " Yes," he said after a pause ; " I will do what you 
 wish." 
 
 When he left the palace, half an hour later, after 
 a sad leave-taking, which both felt to be a final fare- 
 well, Lamar carried in his breast-pocket a bulky 
 letter, addressed to the Rev. Father Wyndham. 
 
 He wrote at once to Rhea, and obtained the 
 priest's address in America, giving her a detailed 
 account of his renewed acquaintance with Eleanor, 
 and informing her of the commission she had in- 
 trusted to him. Then, in obedience to Lady Parker's 
 request, he remained in Rome, waiting, with the 
 arrangements of his journey all completed, until he 
 should receive news of her death.
 
 316 DOCTOR LA MAR. 
 
 It was a month after she left Rome that he 
 received the brief telegram which she had instructed 
 her maid to send, after she should have passed awav. 
 Twenty-four hours later he was on his way to 
 America.
 
 DOCTOLi LAMAIl. 317 
 
 CHAPTER XVI. 
 
 OXE evening, about three weeks after the death of 
 Lady Parker, Father Wyndham, of the Protestant 
 Brotherhood of St. Paul, was sitting alone in his bare 
 and narrow chamber in the mission-house belonging 
 to that branch of his order which was established in 
 Philadelphia. The priest was wrapped in meditation, 
 an occupation of the scant measure of leisure allotted 
 to their busy lives, highly approved of by the members 
 of the order, as tending to a composure of spirits and 
 exaltation of mind. 
 
 But the subject which to-night controlled Father 
 Wyndham's reflections was not one that his brethren 
 would have selected as especially calculated to pro- 
 duce the desired effect. He had had a severe day. 
 His ministrations had been employed in behalf of a 
 dying woman, who had pledged all the securities of 
 her souFs eternal welfare for the gratification of an 
 earthly passion. 
 
 She was a woman of the people, unlettered and 
 uncultured, but, notwithstanding her life of sin, there 
 was an intensity and loyalty in the passion that
 
 318 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 had led to her downfall, that somehow ennobled it 
 and made it seem less guilty than sad. As is so often 
 the case, the man, for whom she had sacrificed her 
 life, had failed to appreciate her action, and had 
 abused her trust by abandoning her. Even this, how- 
 ever, did not destroy her love for him. She had still 
 clung passionately to the memory of her brief life 
 with him, and had gloried in the fact that he had 
 condescended to accept, for even a transient period, 
 her offering of love and devotion. 
 
 Despite its sinfulness, there was something in the 
 completeness of her self-surrender and in the tenacity 
 of the passion that loved on, unchanged by wrong 
 and desertion, which had appealed to Father Wynd- 
 ham's respect, and forced upon his attention a contrast 
 between the characters of this fallen Magdalen and 
 Eleanor Dunstane. 
 
 " Which career," he had wondered, as he stood look- 
 ing sadly down upon the still face, when death had 
 finally robbed him of further opportunity for exhor- 
 tation, " would be better justified in the sight of 
 God : that of the woman who had sinned through 
 excess of love, or that of the other who had com- 
 mitted the crime of a loveless marriage for mere 
 worldly gain ? " 
 
 The thought had flooded his soul with memories.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 319 
 
 He rarely allowed himself to indulge in reminiscences, 
 for even yet his weak flesh had not wholly surrendered 
 to the spirit, and retrospection was a dangerous pas- 
 time. Weeks of the severest discipline, the most 
 arduous labor, were requisite at times to conquer the 
 yearning which occasionally assailed him for a glimpse 
 of one beautiful and well-beloved face. 
 
 Father Wyndham was a far better man than he who 
 hurled recrimination at Philip Lamar in the rectory 
 study. Contact with sin and sorrow had softened his 
 judgment; association with broader natures had liber- 
 alized his opinions ; suffering and self-sacrifice had 
 purified his heart. 
 
 At long intervals he heard from Rhea, who still 
 remained among her poor at Fordham, and from one of 
 her early letters he had learned of Laraar's conversion. 
 This fact had filled him with joy, and he was con- 
 stantly promising himself to write to his friend, and 
 seek to heal the breach which his own harshness had 
 created between them. But the consecration of his 
 life to the service of others brought such demands upon 
 his time as left him scarcely any opportunity for 
 personal considerations. When one is incessantly 
 occupied, when every hour, every minute, brings its 
 apportioned duty, time glides by so imperceptibly 
 that we awaken to a consciousness of his flight with 
 a shock of bewilderment and surprise.
 
 320 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 So the months had slipped away and two years had 
 accomplished themselves without his having made the 
 amende honorable which he felt was due Lamar. His 
 long-delayed intention recurred to his memory to-night, 
 suggested by kindred recollections, and, yielding to a 
 conviction of the truth of the old saw, "there is no 
 time like the present," he rose to fetch pen and 
 paper, determined to seize the occasion, and carry his 
 long-contemplated purpose into effect. 
 
 Having supplied himself with the required articles, 
 he seated himself before the plain deal table that 
 served as desk, and had just completed the date and 
 address of his letter, when a gentle knock inter- 
 rupted his occupation. The door swung noiselessly 
 back upon its hinges, and disclosed Brother Henry, a 
 lay brother who filled the office of general factotum 
 in the establishment. 
 
 " There is a gentleman below, Father," he said, 
 " who wishes to see you." 
 
 Father Wyndham sighed. It seemed as if he were 
 never to be permitted to reunite himself with Lamar. 
 But self-sacrifice was the first requirement of his 
 order; he laid down his pen, though with evident 
 reluctance. 
 
 "Very well," he replied. "I will come at once." 
 
 It was a matter of real regret and disappointment
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 821 
 
 to him, that he might not have this one evening to 
 himself. He had had a most exhausting and harass- 
 ing day ; he had been so forcibly carried back into 
 the past, had been breathing such an atmosphere of 
 auld lang syne, that it was hard for him to shake off 
 the old-time influence and re-identify himself with the 
 impersonal interests of his religious life. 
 
 He descended the stairs slowly, and opened the door 
 of the barren apartment set aside for the reception of 
 visitors with a rather abstracted air. The room was 
 dimly lighted economy was rigidly practised in the 
 mission-house, and the extravagance of gas was dis- 
 pensed with, lamps furnishing a cheaper, and, the 
 brothers maintained, a more satisfactory light. 
 
 But to-night, as Father Wyndham entered the 
 gloomy apartment, and saw a tall figure rise from out 
 the shadows induced by the scant illumination of the 
 one insufficient lamp, he forgot the vaunted superior- 
 ity of oil in a strong desire for the fuller brilliancy of 
 gas ; for there was that in the outline of the indis- 
 tinct form before him that appealed to him with a 
 sense of strange familiarity. And yet there never of 
 yore had been a stoop in Lamar's proud, erect bearing. 
 There had been but a suggestion of gray in his thick 
 thatch of hair, and the silver locks of this man shone 
 like snow under moonshine, in the pale lamplight.
 
 322 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 Who was this unknown person, this obvious stranger 
 with form and bearing so like, and yet so unlike, his 
 friend ? He went a step nearer, muttering some con- 
 ventional words of formal greeting, and re-adjusting 
 the glasses which he had begun to find necessary to 
 his sight. 
 
 Suddenly he gave a great cry and sprang forward 
 with outstretched hands and shaking limbs. 
 
 " Lamar, Lamar ! It is you ! " he cried. " Thank 
 God, thank God, I see you again ! " 
 
 Philip Larnar smiled sadly and nodded acquiescence. 
 There was less warmth and emotion in his manner 
 than in the priest's ; for, besides being prepared for 
 the interview, he was still mindful of that thrust 
 which had been dealt him with a poisoned dagger, 
 whose venom still mingled with his life-blood. Yet, 
 as there was nothing vindictive in his nature, he bore 
 no malice, even to this friend who had done him such 
 injury. He held forth his hand. 
 
 "Yes, it is I, Robert," he said. "You evidently 
 find me changed. Well, yes, and so I am in more 
 than outward appearance. You have heard ? Then, 
 although we still differ on many points, you will not 
 refuse to take my hand now, perhaps ? " 
 
 They stood for some moments with clasped hands, 
 saying little, but devouring each other's faces with such
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 323 
 
 pitying, comprehending gaze that through a recogni- 
 tion of common suffering both were moved to pardon 
 and forgetfulness of former errors. 
 
 Once Father Wyndham endeavored to allude to 
 their last interview in self-denunciatory terms, but 
 Lamar forbade it. 
 
 " Stop, Robert ! " he said, while his face contracted 
 with pain. " No matter for that ; it's over and done 
 with. Let by-gones be by-gones. You gave me a 
 severe lesson, but perhaps I needed it. At all events, 
 I bear you no malice for it." 
 
 They sat for nearly an hour in that poor, dimly 
 lighted little reception-room, engaged in earnest con- 
 versation. Each was anxious to familiarize himself 
 again with the other, and mutual interest begat much 
 discourse. Finally, when an occasional pause bespoke 
 a waning of subject matter, Lamar led up to the 
 object of his visit. 
 
 " Bob," he said, finding it impossible to give the 
 other his title, "this is the reception-room of the 
 establishment, is it not ? " 
 
 Father Wyndham nodded. 
 
 " Then we are liable to interruption at any moment. 
 I have something of importance to say to you, and 
 wish to be secure from intrusion. Let us go some- 
 where where you can command privacy."
 
 324 DOCTOR LAM AR. 
 
 Wondering a little as to the nature of the errand 
 which had led his friend to seek him, the priest rose 
 and led the way to the tiny, unadorned chamber, 
 which was as much his own as anything of which he, 
 who had foresworn personal proprietorship, could 
 claim possession. When they were seated Lamar 
 drew from his pocket the bulky letter which had been 
 intrusted to him by Lady Parker. 
 
 Her name had not yet been mentioned between 
 them, and, as Lamar uttered it and began to describe 
 his meeting with her in Koine, Father Wyndham 
 lifted his long, slender hand in protest. 
 
 "Nothing of her, Lamar," he said; "I do not care 
 to talk of her." 
 
 "You need not," the other man replied; "but I 
 must, for I have come back to America for no other 
 purpose. I am sent on a mission by her." 
 
 Father Wyndham rose and stood forbiddingly 
 before Lamar in his long black gown. A flush was 
 beginning to tinge his pale, ascetic face. 
 
 " I am sorry," he said firmly, " but I cannot listen. 
 I am no longer the man whom she knew; I am a 
 priest of God, having no worldly interests, and 
 wholly severed from my past life." 
 
 Lamar divined that Robert Wyndham was still 
 distrustful of himself when his old love was in
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 325 
 
 question. He was sorry to transgress his friend's 
 desires in this the first hour of their reconciliation, 
 but he felt that he had undertaken a commission from 
 the dead, from which it was impossible to withdraw. 
 
 Father Wyndham had begun pacing the room with 
 long, hasty strides. Lamar rose and held out the 
 sealed packet which lay in his hand. 
 
 " You need not listen to me, Robert," he said in a 
 grave voice which commanded the other's whole atten- 
 tion, " butyou will scarcely refuse to consider the dying 
 words of the woman whom you once loved so well." 
 
 Father Wyndham grew white to the lips. 
 
 " Dying ! " he cried ; " Philip ! My God ! is she 
 dead ? " His voice broke, and his thin, wan face 
 worked convulsively as he put the question. It was 
 easy to see that human passions were not yet wholly 
 dead within him, however purified they might have 
 become. 
 
 As Lamar bowed assent the priest gave a short, 
 subdued cry, then his head fell forward upon his 
 breast, concealing the agony he was enduring from 
 even Lamar's sympathetic eyes. Evidently his train- 
 ing in self-forgetfulness, however, stood him now in 
 good stead, for, after a very short space, he recovered 
 himself. Raising his eyes to heaven, he crossed 
 himself with steady hand, and murmured devoutly,
 
 326 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 " May Jesus Christ, the Lord, our Saviour, receive 
 her into His eternal grace." 
 
 As he turned his face to Lamar the latter saw that 
 its lineaments were carved into an expression of 
 perfect trust and faith, albeit the traces of sadness 
 and grief yet lingered in its deep lines. 
 
 Almost immediately after Dr. Lamar took his 
 departure, promising to see his friend soon again, 
 but divining that now he would prefer to be left 
 alone with the last message from her whom he had 
 loved. He little dreamed how sad a confession that 
 little packet he had left in the priest's hands con- 
 tained. 
 
 In the solitude of his gloomy, cheerless room, 
 Father Wyndham sat late into the night, reading the 
 closely written lines ; and, as he read, a slowly dawning 
 agony possessed his features, until, as he reached the 
 climax of the letter, he fell upon his knees, and burst 
 into a passion of pleading : 
 
 " Oh, God, Father in Heaven, forgive her, forgive 
 her ! " he cried. " Pardon, Lord Jesus, the weak, 
 frail nature that could not contend against the suffer- 
 ing of this world. May the blood of the Lamb be 
 sufficient atonement for her sin. Spare her, Oh, Lord 
 God ! Visit not upon her the awful burden of Thy 
 wrath ! Let me suffer for her. Chastise me as Thou
 
 DOCTOR LAM AH. 327 
 
 wilt; I will bear it all unmurmuringly, if only she 
 may go free ! Consider, Oh, Christ, how greatly she 
 must have endured before she had recourse to this 
 supreme act ! " 
 
 Dawn was breaking before he rose from his knees, 
 haggard, pinched, stiff and sore from his long and 
 prayerful meditation upon the sad fact which 
 Eleanor's letter had confessed. He dipped his face 
 and hands in cold water, enjoying the refreshment 
 which the bath brought to his fevered pulses. The 
 gray morning light was stealing wanly in through the 
 shaded windows. He threw the latter wide, and 
 stood for a few moments drawing in long draughts of 
 the fresh, pure air, and gazing tenderly, pityingly out 
 over the still city. 
 
 " And to almost every soul of this great population 
 some portion of such suffering must fall," he thought 
 compassionate!} 7 . " It is the Divine decree." 
 
 Then he drew a chair close to the open casement, 
 and, with calmer soul, read again the tragedy penned 
 by Eleanor Parker's trembling hand. 
 
 The whole tenor of the letter was self-condemna- 
 tory; the only extenuating plea it offered was her 
 recognized inherent weakness of character. After 
 describing the misery of her life with a man whose 
 petty, trivial nature became daily more repugnant to
 
 328 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 her, she burst forth into a despairing cry of reproach 
 to the man she had loved. 
 
 " Why, why did you not insist upon marrying me, Rohcrt ! 
 You, better than all others, knew my vacillating, pliable 
 character. Had you not seen from my earliest childhood how 
 easy of persuasion I was ? Did you not know me to be weak 
 and yielding? If, on that day when we parted, you had seized 
 me in your arms and sworn to defend your right against the 
 world, I should not now be the wretched woman, the guilty 
 sinner that I am. 
 
 "But no, you left the decision to me; and I, poor, vain fool 
 that I was, preferred the fictitious lustre of a coronet to the 
 glory of mutual love and respect. Well, I am sufficiently 
 punished; but even admitting the justice of my retribution, I 
 was too weak patiently to endure it. I have added sin to sin, 
 and now in the face of death, for the first time I find myself 
 endowed with sufficient strength to meet calmly a great 
 emergency. 
 
 " 1 have chosen you to be my confessor. Selfish to the last, 
 I shift upon your already heavily burdened shoulders the 
 weight of my confession. I do not excuse myself. It is 
 simply a consolation which offers itself. I seize it. I am 
 consistent to the end. Listen: 
 
 "It was six months ago that I awoke to the consciousness 
 that life was no longer endurable. Yet, I am a proud woman 
 wait! I should say I was a proud woman the past tense 
 is more befitting the date at which you shall read this. I would 
 not make my exit from the world under circumstances which 
 might lead to a suspicion that I felt myself to have been 
 worsted by fate. After much reflection reflection ! Ah, 
 Robert! I write flippantly, but there was no flippancy in the 
 state of mind that led to my resolve; no, God knows there was
 
 DOCTOR LAMAE. 329 
 
 not! After pondering the various methods of suicide (it is a 
 horrible word, I shudder as I write it), I hit upon one which 
 would prove effectual, while it precluded suspicion. The con- 
 sumption, of which your friend will tell you I died, was the 
 result of systematic exposure. I have welcomed chilling 
 draughts as bosom friends ; I have offered my breast to the 
 fiercest attacks of Boreas ; I have but there, what need to 
 rack you further! I have sought release and secured it." 
 
 The priest let the sheet drop from his fingers and 
 flutter to the ground. A ray of sunlight, the first 
 lance from the day-god's arsenal, shot down from 
 heaven and fell upon the page. 
 
 Father Wyndhain was prone to draw deductions 
 from the common events of life, which he construed 
 as significant of God's will. Like the prophets of old, 
 he was clever at interpreting, to his own satisfaction 
 at least, the meaning hidden beneath the most trivial, 
 as well as the direst, calamities. The significance of 
 this terrible confession was plain enough, and this 
 time the Divine lesson was directed toward himself. 
 God had taken this means of fully awakening him to 
 a sense of the harshness of his judgment of Lamar. 
 "Judge not that ye be not judged." The words 
 seemed to ring in his ears. For a crime far less 
 heinous than that of Eleanor Parker's he had 
 denounced his friend ; and now he felt himself con- 
 demned in his inability to repudiate the greater 
 criminal.
 
 330 DOCTOR LAMAE. 
 
 The lesson was a bitter one, and terribly disguised, 
 though wholesome and beneficial. Poor Eleanor ! 
 It would seem to less clear-sighted mortals a little 
 hard that she should have been chosen as the instru- 
 ment of the divine teaching. Let it not be supposed, 
 either, that Robert Wyndham lost sight of her suffer- 
 ing in the message it conveyed to him not so. 
 The whole night had been spent in prayer for her ; 
 his heart had gone out to her in the fullest tide of 
 love and pit}- ; his throbbing pulses had responded, 
 beat for beat, with the agony that had worked in 
 hers. 
 
 But this sense of utter humiliation was a sign 
 of the fulfilment of the change within him. The 
 shroud of arrogance and self-righteousness that had 
 been wont to clothe his better nature, had been 
 gradually dropping from him. This new brand of 
 suffering quite burned away the last remnant of the 
 unlovely garment. 
 
 During the day Larnar paid another visit to the 
 mission-house. One glance served to inform him 
 of the tempest that his charge had aroused in the 
 priest's soul. Traces of grief and sleeplessness 
 were plainly legible in the sunken eyes and weary 
 manner; but the tranquil bearing and peaceful smile 
 bore evidence that the storm had been successfully 
 weathered.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 331 
 
 Lamar made but a brief visit. He had no desire 
 to remain in America, and was to leave Philadelphia 
 that night. He purposed visiting China and Japan, 
 for the spirit of restlessness was still strong within 
 him. He discussed his plans with his friend, and 
 for a short half-hour they chatted on indifferent 
 topics. Then Lamar rose to go. 
 
 " Robert," he said, as he grasped the priest's hand 
 in his, " some day, I suppose, I shall return to America 
 and settle down ; when I do, I shall want you to find 
 me some employment. Write me if you hear of 
 anything which you think would suit me, but re- 
 member, it must possess two essentials : it must be 
 engrossing and unsectarian." 
 
 It was in Hiudostan that a sudden distaste for 
 further wandering assailed Lamar. His nomadic, 
 unsettled manner of life became utterly repugnant 
 to him. He felt a sudden heimiceh take possession 
 of him, and he had a craving for some useful, absorb- 
 ing employment. He was still haunted by his morbid 
 ideas regarding the wrong done Laura, and a fancy 
 seized him to return to America and erect a memorial 
 to her, to which he might dedicate his life. 
 
 He knew how dearly she had loved little ones, and 
 how bitterly she had regretted her childless condition. 
 What better tribute, then, could he offer her memory,
 
 332 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 than a hospital consecrated to the care and relief of 
 children ? What more fitting field for labor could 
 he desire ? He at once engaged his homeward pas- 
 sage, determined to seek Father Wyndham, and beg 
 his co-operation in the matter. 
 
 The idea was a happy one. For the first time in 
 many months Lamar felt a renewed interest in life ; 
 indeed, he grew almost excited over the project. On 
 the journey from San Francisco to New York, he fell 
 in with a former professional acquaintance, to whom 
 he unfolded his plan. 
 
 Dr. Hyatt became deeply interested, and was 
 enabled to give him very valuable advice, having 
 devoted much time to the study of hospital require- 
 ments and improvements. Indeed, he had studied 
 architecture, simply for the purpose of practically 
 demonstrating his theories, regarding the proper 
 construction of charitable hygienic institutions. 
 Therefore, when- Lamar presented himself at the 
 mission-house of St. Paul, he was able to show his 
 friend a very creditably prepared plan of his future 
 scene of action. 
 
 Father Wyndham entered into the matter with 
 no half-hearted enthusiasm. He was charmed, de- 
 lighted with the project, and was especially grate- 
 ful for the more healthy condition of mind which 
 Lamar's interest manifested.
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 333 
 
 A proposition emanating from him was gladly 
 seized upon by Lamar. It was that Rhea, whose 
 love for children and long experience with the sick 
 and suffering especially qualified her for the work, 
 should be invited to preside as superintendent of 
 the establishment. 
 
 Lamar wrote her at once, and his letter was fol- 
 lowed by one from Father "Wyndhara, begging her care- 
 fully to consider, and, if possible, assent to Lamar's 
 request. The priest's letter concluded thus: 
 
 "Rhea, I owe a heavy debt to Philip Lamar, a debt which 
 I can never raise. When I look at him and recognize the 
 traces of remorse and suffering which my cruel words caused 
 him, I am overwhelmed with the consequences of my unjusti- 
 fiable conduct. I can do nothing to erase these traces, or 
 obscure the memories which have caused them ; but you, my 
 sister, may do much. It is a sacrifice I ask of you, I know. 
 I am aware how closely your heart is knit to Fordham and its 
 people ; but, Rhea, I do ask it. Of the life which has been 
 so wholly devoted to others, I request another self-offering. 
 Come to us, Rhea. Come to him and the little ones who are 
 to bring peace and comfort to his w&unded heart. I ask this, 
 my sister, partly for his sake and partly for my own, but also 
 for the sake of One who has Himself made us the wondrous 
 example of self-sacrifice." 
 
 There stands, on the outskirts of the city in which 
 Laura Lamar was born, a large, finely proportioned 
 granite building. Children's voices sound within
 
 334 DOCTOR LAMAR. 
 
 its walls ; but children's laughter is, alas ! seldom 
 heard in its precincts. Everything about it breathes 
 generosity and liberality. Its wards are ever full 
 to overflowing; and the plain, homely woman, with 
 her dark, sympathetic eyes and cheery smile, who 
 presides over its administration, finds ample employ- 
 ment for eyery moment of her time. 
 
 The children love her instinctively, for it is a 
 truism that children and animals possess a won- 
 derful instinct for divining the truth regarding 
 humanity ; and the truth regarding Khea Wyndham 
 shines clearly from her features. 
 
 The hospital is unsectarian, and its doors swing 
 freely open to all classes and nationalities. Above 
 them is placed an inscription which runs thus : 
 
 "To LAURA, BELOVED' WIFE OF PHILIP LAMAR, 
 IN MEMORIAM." 
 
 There is no public memorial erected to the sweet 
 little English blossom "who for a few brief days also 
 shared the distinction of being the " beloved wife of 
 Philip Lamar." But within the sore and bruised 
 heart of the grave director of the institution there 
 is a niche containing the image of a fair, dark-eyed 
 maiden with tender, glowing eyes, and mischievous, 
 laughing lips. Before this inner shrine the lamp
 
 DOCTOR LAMAR. 335 
 
 of passionate longing never grows dim. Votive 
 offerings of all that is best and noblest in Lamar's 
 nature are constantly laid upon it, and time, instead 
 of narrowing the space allotted to it, daily increases 
 the bounds of its influence. 
 
 Dr. Lamar will probably never be a happy man ; 
 his remorse for that one unsanctioned act of his life 
 will preclude that ; but he is fast growing into a 
 contented one. The constant employment furnished 
 by his hospital forbids leisure for morbid retrospec- 
 tion. The good results of his work react upon 
 himself, and tranquillize his mind and souL 
 
 The daily association with Rebecca Wyndham is, 
 in itself, of great benefit to him. Her calm, broad 
 influence cheers and encourages him in his moments 
 of despondency. Keligious discussions are freely 
 indulged in between them, but with no satisfactory 
 results. Try as he will to force his reason into 
 pledging itself to the articles of the Trinitarian 
 belief, Lamar never succeeds. His creed is still 
 simple, lamentably so, Rhea thinks, and never ex- 
 tends itself beyond that first affirmation uttered 
 by Natalie's bedside, 
 
 "I believe in God, the Father Almighty, maker 
 of heaven and earth."
 
 A 000100300 3