
 
 <:^ 
 
 THE TEMPLE DRAMATISTS 
 Sheridan's THE CRITIC
 
 I THE CRITIC 
 
 OR 
 
 A TRAGEDY REHEARSED 
 
 A Farce written by 
 : RICHARD BRINSLEY 
 SHERIDAN 
 
 Edited toith Preface and Notes 
 by 
 
 G. A. AITKEN 
 
 J. M. DENT AND SONS LTD. 
 ALDINE HOUSE I LONDON
 
 All rights reserved 
 
 Made in Great Britain 
 
 at The Temple Press Letchworth 
 
 for 
 
 J. M. Dent & Sons Ltd 
 
 Aldine House Bedford St London 
 
 First Puhlished in this Edition 1897 
 
 Reprinted 1904, 1 909, 1920, 1924 
 
 1928, 1929, 1940
 
 URU 
 Preface. 
 
 History of the Play. Sheridan's farce, Tlit Critic, or a 
 TragecJij Rehearsed, was brought out on the 30th of October 1779, 
 when the author, then aged twenty-eight, was manager of Drury 
 Lane Theatre ; and its wit has kept it alive to this day, though 
 many of the personal allusions have long since ceased to be under- 
 stood by the reader. There is the usual story of Sheridan's pro- 
 crastination. We are told that two days before the play was to 
 be produced the last scene was unfinished, and that it was only by 
 inveigling Sheridan into the green-room, where there was a fire, 
 wine and supper, stationery, and the incomplete manuscript, and 
 then locking him in, that he was brought to finish the work. It 
 is said that he laughed heartily at the joke ; certainly he was not 
 loth to have such stories told, for he liked it to be thought that 
 his brilliant scenes were thrown off without any of the care which, 
 in reality, he bestowed upon them. The Critic was not printed 
 until 1 78 1, when, unlike Sheridan's other plays, it was published 
 with the author's approval. The original edition has an engraved 
 title-page, which was afterwards used, without modification, in 
 later issues; the genuine first issue can thus only be distinguished 
 by examining the watermarks in the paper. 
 
 Parsons, as Sir Fretful Plagiary, the author; Miss Pope, as the 
 tragedy heroine Tilburina: and Bannister as Don Ferolo Whisker- 
 andos, were among the chief successes of the original cast. In 
 later days the names of Farren and Charles Matthews have been 
 associated with the play, and many changes have been introduced 
 
 * V
 
 Preface. «^ The Critic 
 
 on the stage in order to bring the satire up to date. Matthews 
 published in Tinsleys Magazine iox November 1872 a defence of the 
 system of '"gags" which he and others introduced into the piece 
 with the view of suiting it to a modern audience. Unfortunately 
 The Critic is HOW rarely acted in public, and never in its original 
 form. 
 
 In drawing the character of Sir Fretful Plagiary, Sheridan had 
 in mind the dramatist Richard Cumberland, who had prefixed to 
 his play, The ChoLric Man. a Dedication to Detraction. Cumber- 
 land was sensitive, vain, and envious. In one of his letters to 
 Garrick. he complains of Sheridan's neglect when one of Cumber- 
 land's tragedies was being read to the actors : " It gave me not 
 the slightest otfence, as I put it all to the habit of dissipation and 
 indolence." There is a well-known tale that when Cumberland 
 and his family witnessed the first performance of The School for 
 Scandal. Cumberland asked his children what they found to laugh 
 at, adding, in an undertone, '• keep still, you little dunces ! " 
 When Sheridan heard of this incident he said, '• It was ungrateful 
 of Cumberland to have been di>pleased with his children for 
 laughing at my comedy, for when I went to see his tragedy I 
 laughed from beginning to end." There are other versions of 
 the story, and it is only fair to add that Cumberland's first 
 tragedy was not acted until 1778, a year after The School fur 
 Scandal, and that he denied that he was present at the first 
 performance of Sheridan's play. The original of Dangle is said 
 to have been a Mr Vaughan, who had busied himself in the 
 affairs of the Richmond Theatre, and had written letters in the 
 Morning Post. George Colman had ridiculed him, under the 
 name of Dapper, in the papers called The Genius (176 1-2). 
 Among the plays satirised by Sheridan was .lohn Home's Fatal
 
 The Critic ^ Preface. 
 
 Discovery, one of the bombastic tragedies which were rendered 
 obsolete by the wit of T/ie Critic. One such piece, William 
 Hodson's Zoraida, brought out in 1780, ran for eight nights only, 
 because its heroine at once recalled Tilburina to the audience. 
 Mad heroines who raved in white silk were no longer possible on 
 the stage. 
 
 Between the production of The Critic on the stage i»nd its 
 publication, two skits appeared. In one of those pieces TAe 
 Critic, or a Tragedy Rehearsed, " a new dramatic piece in three acts, 
 by the author of the Duenna^'' 1780, the names of Sheridan's 
 characters are borrowed, and applied to the purposes of political 
 satire. The other piece, The Critick anticipated ; or, The Humours 
 of the Green Room, a Farce, by R. B. S., Esq., 1779, is a personal 
 attack on Sheridan, with a dedication to the actors at Drury 
 Lane and Covent Garden. Sheridan appears as Young Psalter, 
 his father as Old Psalter, and his wife as Mrs Psalter ; and 
 there are various allusions to the elder Sheridan's work as teacher 
 of elocution and compiler of dictionaries. A newspaper para- 
 graph is read to the effect that Sheridan had been detected 
 pilfering from scenes of different authors left in his custody for 
 representation ; and that the authoress of a tragedy called The 
 Woeful Countess was greatly enraged at the manager's conduct. 
 It will be remembered that Sheridan himself laughed in The Critic 
 at the charge that he stole from plays forwarded to him as 
 manager. Sir Fretful says he will never send a play to Drury 
 Lane ; " it is not always so safe to leave a play in the hands of 
 those that write themselves " ; they may steal, " and, egad, serve 
 your best thoughts as gipsies do stolen children, disfigure them to 
 make 'em pass for their own. . A dexterous plagiarist may 
 
 do anything. Why, sir, for aught I know, he might take out 
 vn
 
 Preface. *=55 The Critic 
 
 some of the best things in my tragedy and put them into his 
 own comedy." 
 
 Forerunners of "The Critic." Sheridan's Critic is in 
 one sense less original than either T/ie Rivuh or The School for 
 Scandal, but a charge of plagiarism is as misplaced in the one 
 instance as in the other. There had, of course, been several plays 
 ridiculing the rant and fustian of conventional tragedy, among 
 the best of them being Henry Carey's burlesque, Chrononhoton- 
 ihologos, and Fielding's Tragedu of Tragedies, or. The Life and Death 
 of Tom Thumb the Great ; and the rehearsal of a play, often with 
 humorous references to the author's difficulties with the actors, 
 had been a common theme. In Beaumont and Fletcher's Knight 
 of the Burning Pestle, Ralph the apprentice acted the part of a 
 quixotic knight, to the admiration of his master and mistress, 
 who were seated on the stage ; and Garrick had produced, in 
 1767, his successful A Peep behind the Curtain, or, The Neiv 
 Rehearsal. Sheridan had himself written, while a lad, in colla- 
 boration with his friend Halhed, a farce called Jupiter, in the form 
 of a rehearsal, with an author, Simile, who is suggestive of Puff. 
 Fielding used the idea of a rehearsal several times, and notably 
 in Pasquin. in which two plays are rehearsed, one a tragedy, the 
 other a comedy, in the presence of their self-satisfied authors, and 
 of a critic, Sneerwell, who reminds the reader of Sheridan's Sneer. 
 Another piece of Fielding's dealing with a rehearsal. The 
 Historical Register for the year 1736, has a character, Dangle, whose 
 name Sheridan used in The Critic. There are, too, in this piece, 
 four Patriots who shake their heads significantly, like Sheridan's 
 Lord Burleigh. The play, however, which most resembles 
 Sheridan's is the Duke of Buckingham's Rehearsal, published in 
 viii
 
 The Critic ^i- Preface. 
 
 1671. Bayes, the author in that piece, is a satire upon Dryden, 
 but works by other dramatists are burlesqued, and later editions 
 contained many "gags ''" relating to plays produced after the first 
 appearance of the Rehearsal. Notwithstanding, however, the 
 general likeness between this admirable farce and Sheridan's 
 Critic, the passages in which Sheridan was directly indebted to 
 the earlier piece are very few in number. Sir Fretful Plagiary 
 had a common-place book, said to contain passages stolen from 
 obscure volumes (I. i. 446), and Bayes kept a book of "Drama 
 common-places, the mother of many other plays," in which he 
 recorded witty sayings heard in coffee-houses, and passages from 
 other authors. The appearance of the Thames, with the 
 attendant banks (III. i. 316) may be compared with the eclipse in 
 the fifth act of the Rehearsal, effected by means of a dance between 
 the sun, moon and earth. When Raleigh and Hatton enter (II. 
 ii. 30), Hatton says, *' True, gallant Raleigh ! " and upon 
 Dangle asking "What, they had been talking before?" Puff 
 replies, " O yes, all the way as they came along." Similarly, in 
 Act II. of the Rehearsal, the Physician says to the Gentleman 
 Usher, " Sir, to conclude," and when Smith exclaims, " What, 
 before he begins? " Bayes replies, " No, sir, you must know they 
 had been talking of this a pretty while without," Puffs " Now 
 then for my magnificence! my battle! my noise! and my pro- 
 cession ! " (III. i. 301) recalls Bayes's " Now, gentlemen, I will be 
 bold to say, I'll show you the greatest scene that ever England 
 saw ; I mean not for words, for those I do not value ; but for 
 state, show, and magnificence." But such occasional reminis- 
 cences of the earlier play are far from justifying a charge of 
 plagiarism. Sheridan's indebtedness does not extend beyond the 
 general idea of a satire on bad plays through the medium of a
 
 Preface. '^^ The Critic 
 
 rehearsal; and the brilliant first act, with the account of the art 
 ot puffing, the attack on sentimental comedy (" nothing ridiculous 
 from the beginning to the end"), the sketches of Dangle, tlie 
 would-be stage Mzcenas, Sir Fretful Plagiary, the author. 
 Sneer and Puff, is wholly Sheridan's. 
 
 Sheridan's Life. A sketch of the author's life has been 
 given in the Introduction to T/ie School /or Scandal, in this series; 
 but it may be well to say here that Richard Brinsley Sheridan, 
 son of the actor and writer Thomas Sheridan, and the novelist 
 Frances Sheridan, was born in Dublin on October 30, 1751. 
 After school days at Harrow, Sheridan lived with his family at 
 Bath, and in 1773 he concluded a romantic marriage with the 
 singer, Eliza Ann Linley. Two years later came T/ie Rivah 
 followed by a farce, 5/ Pairick^s Bay, and a successful comic opera. 
 The Duenna. In 1776 Sheridan and his friends bought Garrick's 
 share in Drury Lane Theatre, but nothing more important than 
 A Trip to Scarborough, an adaptation from Vanbrugh, was pro- 
 duced by the new manager until May 1777, when The School for 
 Scandal was first acted. The Critic, or a Tragedy Rehearsed (1779) 
 was really Sheridan's last play, though he afterwards brought out 
 Pizarro, a translation or adaptation from Kotzebue. In 1780 he 
 was elected member of parliament for Stafford, and at the age of 
 twenty-nine began a new and brilliant career as statesman and 
 orator. During the impeachment of Warren Hastings he 
 delivered his famous speeches respecting the princesses of Oude ; 
 but before long, financial and other troubles began to weigh 
 heavily upon him, and he fell under the malign influence of the 
 Prince of Wales, afterwards George IV. In 1809 Drury Lane 
 Theatre, then recently built, was burnt down, and soon afterwards
 
 The Critic ^i- Preface. 
 
 Sheiidan lost his seat in parliament At the time of his death 
 (July 7. 1816) Sheridan was hard pressed by creditors, though 
 his debts seem not to have exceeded ^4000, and the Regent and 
 others sent money at the last moment, on hearing of his position. 
 A few days later he was buried with great ceremony in West 
 minster Abbey. 
 
 ^Ks^f^iyi^
 
 THE CRITIC 
 
 OR 
 
 A TRAGEDY REHEARSED
 
 DRAMATIS PERSONS. 
 
 AS ORIGINALLY ACTED AT DRURY LANE THEATRE IN 1 779- 
 
 , IVIr Parsons, 
 
 Mr Kin a, 
 Mr Dodd. 
 
 Sir Fretfdl Plagl\ry . 
 
 Puff . 
 
 Dangle 
 
 Sneer . 
 
 SiGNOR Pasticcio Ritorxello 
 
 Interpreter 
 
 Under Prompter 
 
 Mr Hopkins . 
 
 Mrs Dangle . 
 
 SiGNORE PASTICaO RiTORNELLO 
 
 Mr Palmer. 
 Mr Delpini. 
 Mr Badaeley. 
 Mr Phiilimore, 
 Mr Hopkins. 
 Mrs Hopkins. 
 Miss Field and the 
 Miss Abrams. 
 
 Scenemen, Musicians, and Servants. 
 
 CHARACTERS OF 
 Lord Burleigh 
 Governor of Tilbury Fort 
 Earl of Leicester 
 Sir Walter Raleigh . 
 Sir Christopher Hatton 
 Master of the Horse 
 Don Ferolo Whiskerandos 
 Beefeater 
 Justice 
 Son . 
 Constable 
 Thames 
 
 TiLBURlNA 
 
 Confidant 
 Justice's Lady 
 First Niece 
 Second Niece 
 
 THE TRAGEDY, 
 
 Mr Mocdy. 
 Mr Wright en. 
 Mr Farren. 
 Mr Burton. 
 Mr Waldron. 
 Mr Kenny. 
 Mr Bannister, jun, 
 Mr Wright. 
 Mr Packer. 
 Mr Lamash. 
 Mr Fa-ucett. 
 Mr Gaivdry, 
 Miss Pope. 
 Mrs Bradshaiu. 
 Mrs Johnston. 
 Miss Collett. 
 Miss Kirby. 
 
 Knights, Guards, Constables, Sentinels, Servants, Chorus, 
 Rivers, Attendants, &c., &c. 
 
 Scene : London — in Bangle's House during the First Act, and 
 throughout the rest oj the play in Drury Lane Tfuatre,
 
 TO MRS GREVILLE. 
 
 Madam, — In requesting your permission to address the 
 following pages to you, which, as they aim themselves 
 to be critical, require every protection and allowance that 
 approving taste or friendly prejudice can give them, I yet 
 ventured to mention no other motive than the gratification 
 of private friendship and esteem. Had I suggested a hope 
 that your implied approbation would give a sanction to 
 their defects, your particular reserve, and dislike to the 
 reputation of critical taste, as well as of poetical talent, 
 would have made you refuse the protection of your name 
 to such a purpose. However, I am not so ungrateful as 
 now to attempt to combat this disposition in you. I 
 shall not here presume to argue that the present state of 
 poetry claims and expects every assistance that taste and 
 example can afford it ; nor endeavour to prove that a 
 fastidious concealment of the most elegant productions of 
 judgment and fancy is an ill return for the possession of 
 those endowments. Continue to deceive yourself in the 
 idea that you are known only to be eminently admired 
 and regarded for the valuable qualities that attach private
 
 To Mrs GrevUie. «2s The Critic 
 
 friendships, and the graceful talents that adorn conversa- 
 tion. Enough of what you have written has stolen into 
 full public notice to answer my pui*pose ; and you will, 
 perhaps, be the only person, conversant in elegant literature, 
 who shall read this address and not perceive that by 
 publishing your particular approbation of the following 
 drama, I have a more interested object than to boast the 
 true respect and regard with which I have the honour 
 to be. Madam, your very sincere and obedient humble 
 servant, 
 
 R. B. SHERIDAN. 
 
 -.^*>4^^>rr^
 
 The Critic; 
 
 Or, A Tragedy Rehearsed. 
 Prologue. 
 
 BY THE HONOURABLE RICHARD FITZPATRICK, 
 
 The sister Muses, whom these realms obey, 
 Who o'er the drama hold divided sway. 
 Sometimes, by evil counsellers, 'tis said, 
 Like earth-born potentates have been misled. 
 In those gay days of wickedness and wit, 
 When Villiers criticised what Dryden writ, 
 The tragic queen, to please a tasteless crowd, 
 Had learned to bellow, rant, and roar so loud. 
 That frightened Nature, her best friend before. 
 The blustering beldam's company forswore ; i 
 
 Her comic sister, who had wit 'tis true. 
 With all her merits, had her failings too ; 
 And would sometimes in mirthful moments use 
 A style too flippant for a well-bred Muse ;
 
 Prologue. "^s The Critic 
 
 Then female modesty abashed began 
 
 To seek the friendly refuge of the fan, 
 
 A v/hile behind that slight intrenchment stood, 
 
 Till driven from thence, she left the stage for good. 
 
 In our more pious, and far chaster times, 
 
 These sure no longer are the Muse's crimes ! 20 
 
 But some complain that, former faults to shun, 
 
 The reformation to extremes has run. 
 
 The frantic hero's wild delirium past, 
 
 Now insipidity succeeds bombast ; 
 
 So slow Melpomene's cold numbers creep. 
 
 Here dulness seems her drowsy court to keep. 
 
 And we are scarce awake, whilst you are fast asleep. 
 
 Thalia, once so ill-behaved and rude. 
 
 Reformed, is now become an arrant prude ; 
 
 RetaiUng nightly to the yawning pit 30 
 
 The purest morals, undefiled by wit ! 
 
 Our author offers, in these motley scenes, 
 
 A slight remonstrance to the drama's queens : 
 
 Nor let the goddesses be over nice ; 
 
 Free-spoken subjects give the best advice. 
 
 Although not quite a novice in his trade. 
 
 His cause to-night requires no common aid. 
 
 To this, a friendly, just, and powerful court, 
 
 I come ambassador to beg support.
 
 The Critic ss« Act i. Sc. i. 
 
 Can he undaunted brave the critic's rage i 40 
 
 In civil broils with brother bards engage ? 
 
 Hold forth their errors to the public eye, 
 
 Nay more, e'en newspapers themselves defy ? 
 
 Say, must his single arm encounter all ? 
 
 By numbers vanquished, e'en the brave may fall ; 
 
 And though no leader should success distrust, 
 
 Whose troops are willing, and whose cause is just ; 
 
 To bid such hosts of angry foes defiance. 
 
 His chief dependence must be, your alliance. 
 
 Act First. 
 
 Scene I. 
 
 yi Room in Danglers House. 
 
 Mr and Mrs Dangle discovered at breakfast., and reading 
 
 neivspapers. 
 
 Dang. [Reading.] Brutus to Lord North. — Letter 
 the second on the State of the Army — Psha ! To 
 the first L dash D of the ji dash T. — Genuine 
 extract of a Letter from St Kitts. — Coxheath 
 
 Intelligence // is noiv confidently asserted that 
 
 Sir Charles Hardy — Psha ! nothing but about
 
 Act 1. Sc. i. •iS The Critic 
 
 the fleet and the nation ! — and I hate all politics 
 but theatrical politics. — Where 's the Morning 
 Chronicle ? 
 Mrs Dang. Yes, that 's your Gazette. lO 
 
 Dang. So, here we have it. — [Reads.]] Theatrical 
 intelligence extraordinary. — We hear there is a 
 neiv tragedy in rehearsal at Drury Lane Theatre, 
 called the Spanish y^rmada, said to be ivritten by 
 Mr Puff, a gentleman nvell knonvn in the theatrical 
 iLiorld. If ive may alloiv ourselves to give credit 
 to the report of the performers, ivho, truth to say, 
 are in general hut indifferent judges, this piece 
 abounds ivith the most striking and received 
 beauties of modern composition. — So! I am very 20 
 glad my friend Puff's tragedy is in such forward- 
 ness. — Mrs Dangle, my dear, you will be very 
 
 glad to hear that Puff's tragedy 
 
 Mrs Dang. Lord, Mr Dangle, why will you plague 
 me about such nonsense ? — Now the plays are 
 begun I shall have no peace. — Isn't it sufficient 
 to make yourself ridiculous by your passion for 
 the theatre, without continually teasing me to 
 join you ? Why can't you ride your hobby- 
 horse without desiring to place me on a pillion 30 
 behind you, Mr Dangle ?
 
 The Critic ^* Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 Dang. Nay, my dear, I was only going to read 
 
 Mrs Dang. No, no ; you will never read any thing 
 that 's worth listening to. You hate to hear 
 about your country ; there are letters every day 
 with Roman signatures, demonstrating the cer- 
 tainty of an invasion, and proving that the 
 nation is utterly undone. But you never will 
 read any thing to entertain one. 
 
 Dang. What has a woman to do with politics, Mrs 40 
 Dangle ? 
 
 Mrs Dang. And what have you to do with the 
 theatre, Mr Dangle ? Why should you affect 
 the character of a critic ? I have no patience 
 with you ! — Haven't you made yourself the 
 jest of all your acquaintance by your inter- 
 ference in matters where you have no business ? 
 Are you not called a theatrical quidnunc, and 
 a mock Maecenas to second-hand authors ? 
 
 Dang. True ;- my power with the managers is pretty 50 
 notorious. But is it no credit to have applica- 
 tions from all quarters for my interest — from 
 lords to recommend fiddlers, from ladies to get 
 boxes, from authors to get arswers, and from 
 actors to get engagements ? 
 
 Mrs Dang. Yes, truly ; you have contrived to get a
 
 Actl. Sc. L OS The Critic 
 
 share in all the plague and trouble of theatrical 
 property, without the profit, or even the credit 
 of the abuse that attends it. 
 
 Dang. I am sure, Mrs Dangle, you are no loser by 60 
 it, however ; you have all the advantages of it. 
 Mightn't you, last winter, have had the reading 
 of the new pantomime a fortnight previous to its 
 performance ? And doesn't Mr Fosbrook let 
 you take places for a play before it is advertised, 
 and set you down for a box for every new 
 piece through the season ? And didn't my 
 friend, Mr S matter, dedicate his last farce to 
 you at my particular request, Mrs Dangle r 
 
 Mrs Dang. Yes ; but wasn't the farce damned, 70 
 Mr Dangle ? And to be sure it is extremely 
 pleasant to have one's house made the motley 
 rendezvous of all the lackeys of literature ; the 
 very high 'Change of trading authors and 
 jobbing critics : — Yes, my drawing-room is an 
 absolute register office for candidate actors, and 
 poets without character. — Then to be con- 
 tinually alaiTned with misses and ma'ams pip- 
 ing hysteric changes on Juliets and Dorindas, 
 Pollys, and Ophelias ; and the very furniture 80 
 trembling at the probationary starts and uq-
 
 The Critic si» Act i. Sc. L 
 
 provoked rants of would-be Richards and 
 Hamlets! — And what is worse than all, now 
 that the manager has monopolized the Opera 
 House, haven't we the signors and signoras 
 calling here, sliding their smooth semibreves, 
 and gargling glib divisions in their outlandish 
 throats — with foreign emissaries and French 
 spies, for aught I know, disguised like fiddlers 
 and figure-dancers ? 90 
 
 Dang. Mercy ! Mrs Dangle ! 
 
 Mrs Dang. And to employ yourself so idly at such 
 an alarming crisis as this too — when, if you 
 had the least spirit, you would have been at the 
 head of one of the Westminster associations — 
 or trailing a volunteer pike in the Artillery 
 Ground ! But you — o* my conscience, I be- 
 lieve, if the French were landed to-morrow, 
 your first inquiry would be, whether they 
 had brought a theatrical troop with them. lOO 
 
 Dang. Mrs Dangle, it does not signify — I say the 
 stage is the Mirror of Nature, and the actors 
 are the abstract and brief chronicles of the 
 time : and pray what can a man of sense study 
 better ? — Besides, you will not easily persuade 
 me that there is no credit or importance in
 
 Act I. Sc. i. «5S The Critic 
 
 being at the head of a band of critics, who 
 take upon them to decide for the whole town, 
 whose opinion and patronage all writers solicit, 
 and whose recommendation no manager dares i lo 
 refuse. 
 
 Mrs Dang. Ridiculous ! — Both managers and 
 authors of the least merit laugh at your pre- 
 tensions. — The public is their critic — without 
 whose fair approbation they know no play can 
 rest on the stage, and with whose applause they 
 welcome such attacks as yours, and laugh at the 
 malice of them, where they can't at the wit. 
 
 Dang. Very well, madam — very well ! 
 
 Enter Servant, 
 
 Ser. Mr Sneer, sir, to wait on you. 120 
 
 Dang. Oh, show Mr Sneer up. — \_Exit Servant."] 
 Plague on 't, now we must appear loving and 
 affectionate, or Sneer will hitch us into a story. 
 
 Mrs Dang. With all my heart ; you can't be more 
 ridiculous than you are. 
 
 Dang. You are enough to provoke 
 
 Enter Sneer. 
 Ha! my dear Sneer, I am vastly glad to see 
 you. — My dear, here 's Mr Sneer.
 
 The Critic Si* Act i. Sc. i. 
 
 Mrs Dang. Good morning to you, sir. 
 
 Dang. Mrs Dangle and I have been diverting 130 
 ourselves with the papers. Pray, Sneer, won't 
 you go to Drury Lane Theatre the first night 
 of Puff's tragedy ? 
 
 Sneer. Yes ; but I suppose one shan't be able to get 
 in, for on the first night of a new piece they 
 always fill the house with orders to support it. 
 But here, Dangle, I have brought you two 
 pieces, one of which you must exert yourself 
 to make the managers accept, I can tell you 
 that; for 'tis written by a person of con- J 40 
 sequence. 
 
 Dang. So ! now my plagues are beginning. 
 
 Sneer. Ay, I am glad of it, for now you '11 be 
 happy. Why, my dear Dangle, it is a pleasure 
 to see how you enjoy your volunteer fatigue, 
 and your solicited solicitations. 
 
 Dang. It 's a great trouble — yet, egad, it 's pleasant 
 too. — Why, sometimes of a morning I have a 
 dozen people call on me at breakfast-time, 
 whose faces I never saw before, nor ever desire 1 50 
 to see again. 
 
 Sneer.. That must be very pleasant indeed ! 
 
 Dang. And not a week but I receive fifty letters, 
 
 »3
 
 Act I. Sc. L •^ The Critic 
 
 and not a line in them about any business of 
 
 my own. 
 Sneer. An amusing correspondence ! 
 Dang. [Reading.] Bursts into tears y and exit, — 
 
 What, is this a tragedy ? 
 Sneer. No, that 's a genteel comedy, not a translation 
 
 — only taken from the French : it is written in i6o 
 
 a style which they have lately tried to run down ; 
 
 the true sentimental, and nothing ridiculous in 
 
 it from the beginning to the end. 
 Mrs Dang. Well, if they had kept to that, I should 
 
 not have been such an enemy to the stage ; 
 
 there was some edification to be got from those 
 
 pieces, Mr Sneer ! 
 Sneer. I am quite of your opinion, Mrs Dangle : the 
 
 theatre, in proper hands, might certainly be 
 
 made the school of morality; but now, I am 17c 
 
 sorry to say it, people seem to go there 
 
 principally for their entertainment ! 
 Mrs Dang. It would have been more to the credit 
 
 of the managers to have kept it in the other 
 
 line. 
 Sneer, Undoubtedly, madam ; and hereafter perhaps 
 
 to have had it recorded, that in the midst of a 
 
 luxurious and dissipated age, they preserved two 
 14
 
 The Critic ss» Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 houses In the capital, where the conversation 
 was always moral at least, if not entertaining ! i8o 
 
 Dang. Now, egad, I think the worst alteration is 
 in the nicety of the audience! — No douhle- 
 entendrcy no smart innuendo admitted ; even 
 Vanbrugh and Congreve obliged to undergo a 
 bungling reformation ! 
 
 Sneer. Yes, and our prudery in this respect is just 
 on a par with the artificial bashfulness of a 
 courtesan, who increases the blush upon her 
 cheek in an exact proportion to the diminution 
 of her modesty. 190 
 
 Dang. Sneer can't even give the public a good 
 word ! But what have we here ? — This seems 
 a very odd 
 
 Sneer. Oh, that's a comedy, on a very new plan; 
 replete with wit and mirth, yet of a most serious 
 moral ! You see it is called The Reformed 
 House-breaker ; where, by the mere force of 
 humour, house-breaking is put into so ridiculous 
 a light, that if the piece has its proper run, I 
 have no doubt but that bolts and bars will be 200 
 entirely useless by the end of the season. 
 
 Dang. Egad, this is new indeed ! 
 
 Sneer. Yes ; it is written by a particular friend of 
 15
 
 Act I. Sc. L "ss The Critic 
 
 * mine, who has discovered that the follies and 
 I foibles of society are subjects unworthy the 
 ' notice of the comic muse, who should be taught 
 to stoop only at the greater vices and blacker 
 crimes of humanity — gibbeting capital offences 
 in five acts, and pillorying petty larcenies in 
 two. — In short, his idea is to dramatise the 2I0 
 penal laws, and make the stage a court of ease 
 ^ to the Old Bailey 
 Dang. It is truly moral. 
 
 Re-enter Servant 
 
 Ser. Sir Fretful Plagiary, sir. 
 
 Dang. Beg him to walk up. — \_Exit Servant. "] 
 
 Now, Mrs Dangle, Sir Fretful Plagiary is an 
 
 author to your own taste. 
 Mrs Dang. I confess he is a favourite of mine, 
 
 because everybody else abuses him. 
 Sneer. Very much to the credit of your charity, 220 
 
 madam, if not of your judgment. 
 Dang. But, egad, he allows no merit to any author 
 
 but himself, that 's the truth on 't — though 
 
 he 's my friend. 
 Sneer. Never — He is as envious as an old maid 
 
 verging on the desperation of six-and-thirty ;
 
 The Critic Si* Act i. Sc. i. 
 
 and then the insidious humility with which he 
 seduces you to give a free opinion on any of his 
 works, can be exceeded only by the petulant 
 arrogance with which he is sure to reject your 230 
 observations. 
 
 Dang. Very true, egad — though he 's my friend. 
 
 Sneer. Then his affected contempt of all newspaper 
 strictures ; though, at the same time, he is the 
 sorest man alive, and shrinks like scorched parch- 
 ment from the fiery ordeal of true criticism : yet 
 is he so covetous of popularity, that he had 
 rather be abused than not mentioned at all. 
 
 Dang. There's no denying it — though he is my 
 
 friend. 240 
 
 Sneer. You have read the tragedy he has just finished, 
 haven't you ? 
 
 Dang. O yes ; he sent it to me yesterday. 
 
 Sneer. Well, and you think it execrable, don't 
 you? 
 
 Dang. Why, between ourselves, egad, I must own — 
 though he is my friend — that it is one of the 
 
 most He's here — \_j4side'] — finished and 
 
 most admirable perform 
 
 Sir Fret. \_lVithout.'] Mr Sneer with him, did you 250 
 say? 
 
 b »7
 
 Actl. Sc. L »2S The Critic 
 
 Enter Sir Fretful Plagiary. 
 
 Dang. Ah, my dear friend ! — Egad, we were just 
 speaking of your tragedy. — Admirable, Sir 
 Fretful, admirable! 
 
 Sneer. You never did any thing beyond it, Sir Fretful 
 — never in your life. 
 
 Sir Fret. You make me extremely happy ; for with- 
 out a compliment, my dear Sneer, there isn't a 
 man in the world whose judgment I value as I 
 do yours and Mr Dangle's. 260 
 
 Mrs Dang. They are only laughing at you, Sir 
 Fretful ; for it was but just now that 
 
 Dang. Mrs Dangle! — Ah, Sir Fretful, you know 
 Mrs Dangle. — My friend Sneer was rallying 
 just now : — he knows how she admires you, 
 and 
 
 Sir Fret. O Lord, I am sure Mr Sneer has more 
 
 taste and sincerity than to [_Aside'] A 
 
 damned double-faced fellow ! 
 
 Dang. Yes, yes — Sneer will jest — but a better- 270 
 humoured 
 
 Sir Fret. Oh, I know 
 
 Dang. He has a ready turn for ridicule — his wit 
 costs him nothing.
 
 The Critic ^i» Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 Sir Fret. No, egad — or I should wonder how he 
 
 came by it. \_Aside, 
 
 Mrs Dang. Because his jest is always at the expense 
 
 of his friend. [_j4slde. 
 
 Dang. But, Sir Fretful, have you sent your play to 
 
 the managers yet? — or can I be of any service 280 
 
 to you ? 
 Sir Fret. No, no, I thank you : I believe the piece 
 
 had sufficient recommendation with it. — I thank 
 
 you though. — I sent it to the manager of 
 
 Covent Garden Theatre this morning. 
 Sneer. I should have thought now, that it might 
 
 have been cast (as the actors call it) better at 
 
 Drury Lane. 
 Sir Fret. O lud ! no — never send a play there while 
 
 I live — hark'ee ! \_lVhispers Sneer. 290 
 
 Sneer. Writes himself! — I know he does. 
 Sir Fret. I say nothing — I take away from no man's 
 
 merit — am hurt at no man's good fortune — I 
 
 say nothing. — But this I will say — through all 
 
 my knowledge of life, I have observed — that 
 
 there is not a passion so strongly rooted in the 
 
 human heart as envy. 
 Sneer. I believe you have reason for what you say, 
 
 indeed. 
 
 «9
 
 Act I. Sc. L «2S The Critic 
 
 Sir Fret. Besides — I can tell you it is not always 300 
 
 so safe to leave a play in the hands of those who 
 
 write themselves. 
 Sneer. What, they may steal from them, hey, my 
 
 dear Plagiary ? 
 Sir Fret. Steal ! — to be sure they may ; and, egad, 
 
 serve your best thoughts as gypsies do stolen 
 
 children, disfigure them to make 'em pass for 
 
 their own. 
 Sneer. But your present work is a sacrifice to 
 
 Melpomene, and he, you know, never 310 
 
 Sir Fret. That 's no security : a dexterous plagiarist 
 
 may do any thing. Why, sir, for aught I 
 
 know, he might take out some of the best 
 
 things in my tragedy, and put them into his 
 
 own comedy. 
 Sneer. That might be done, I dare be sworn. 
 Sir Fret. And then, if such a person gives you the 
 
 least hint or assistance, he is devilish apt to 
 
 take the merit of the whole 
 
 Dang. If it succeeds. 320 
 
 Sir Fret. Ay, but witli regard to this piece, I think 
 
 I can hit that gentleman, for I can safely swear 
 
 he never read it. 
 Sneer. I '11 tell you how you may hurt him more.
 
 The Critic s«» Act i. Sc. i. 
 
 Sir Fret. How ? 
 
 Sneer. Swear he wrote it. 
 
 Sir Fret. Plague on 't now, Sneer, I shall take it ill ! 
 
 — I believe you want to take away my character 
 
 as an author. 
 Sneer. Then I am sure you ought to be very much 330 
 
 obliged to me. 
 
 Sir Fret. Hey !— sir ! 
 
 Dang. Oh, you know, he never means what he says. 
 Sir Fret. Sincerely then — you do like the piece ? 
 Sneer, Wonderfully ! 
 Sir Fret. But come now, there must be something 
 
 that you think might be mended, hey ? — Mr 
 
 Dangle, has nothing struck you ? 
 Dang. Why, faith, it is but an ungracious thing, for 
 
 the most part, to 340 
 
 Sir Fret. With most authors it is just so indeed ; 
 
 they are in general strangely tenacious ! But, 
 
 for my part, I am never so well pleased as when 
 
 a judicious critic points out any defect to me; 
 
 for what is the purpose of showing a work to a 
 
 friend, if you don't mean to profit by his 
 
 opinion ? 
 Sneer. Very true. — Why then, though I seriously 
 
 admire the piece upon the whole, yet there is
 
 Act I. Sc. L «^ The Critic 
 
 one small objection , which, if you'll give me 350 
 leave, I '11 mention. 
 
 Sir Fret. Sir, you can't oblige me more. 
 
 Sneer. I think it wants incident. 
 
 Sir Fret. Good God ! you surprise me ! — wants 
 incident ! 
 
 Sneer. Yes ; I own I think the incidents are too 
 few. 
 
 Sir Fret. Good God ! Believe me, Mr Sneer, there 
 is no person for whose judgment I have a more 
 implicit deference ; but I protest to you, Mr 360 
 Sneer, I am only apprehensive that the incidents 
 are too crowded. — My dear Dangle, how does 
 it strike you ? 
 
 Dang. Really I can't agree with my friend Sneer. 
 I think the plot quite sufficient ; and the four 
 first acts by many degrees the best I ever read 
 or saw in my life. If I might venture to 
 suggest any thing, it is that the interest rather 
 falls off in the fifth. 
 
 Sir Fret. Rises, I believe you mean, sir. 370 
 
 Dang. No, I don't, upon my word. 
 
 Sir Fret. Yes, yes, you do, upon my soul ! — it 
 certainly don't fall off, I assure you. — No, no ; 
 it don't fall off.
 
 The Critic s«» Act i. Sc. i. 
 
 Dang. Now, Mrs Dangle, didn't you say it struck 
 you in the same light ? 
 
 Mrs Dang. No, indeed, I did not — I did not see a 
 fault in any part of the play, from the beginning 
 to the end. 
 
 Sir Fret. Upon my soul, the women are the best 380 
 judges after all ! 
 
 Mrs Dang. Or, if I made any objection, I am sure 
 it was to nothing in the piece, but that I was 
 afraid it was, on the whole, a little too long. 
 
 Sir Fret. Pray, madam, do you speak as to dura- 
 tion of time ; or do you mean that the story is 
 tediously spun out ? 
 
 Mrs Dang. O lud ! no. — I speak only with refer- 
 ence to the usual length of acting plays. 
 
 Sir Fret. Then I am very happy — very happy 390 
 indeed — because the play is a short play, a 
 remarkably short play. I should not venture 
 to differ with a lady on a point of taste ; but, 
 on these occasions, the watch, you know, is the 
 critic. 
 
 Mrs Dang. Then, I suppose, it must have been Mr 
 Dangle's drawling manner of reading it to me. 
 
 Sir Fret. Oh, if Mr Dangle read it, that 's quite 
 another affair ! — But I assure you, MrsDang)e> 
 23
 
 Actl. Sc. L «:s The Critic 
 
 the first evening you can spare me three hours 400 
 
 and a half, I '11 undertake to read you the whole 
 
 from beginning to end, with the prologue and 
 
 epilogue, and allow time for the music between 
 
 the acts. 
 Mrs Dang. I hope to see it on the stage next. 
 Dang. Well, Sir Fretful, I wish you may be able 
 
 to get rid as easily of the newspaper criticisms 
 
 as you do of ours. 
 Sir Fret. The newspapers ! Sir, they are the most 
 
 villanous — licentious — abominable — infernal — 410 
 
 Not that I ever read them — no — I make it a 
 
 rule never to look into a newspaper. 
 Dang. You are quite right ; for it certainly must 
 
 hurt an author of delicate feelings to see the 
 
 liberties they take. 
 Sir Fret. No, quite the contrary ! their abuse is, in 
 
 fact, the best panegyric — I like it of all things. 
 
 An author's reputation is only in danger from 
 
 their support. 
 Sneer. Why that 's true — and that attack, now, on 420 
 
 you the other day 
 
 Sir Fret. What .^ where ? 
 
 Dang. Ay, you mean in a paper of Thursday : it 
 
 was completely ill-natured, to be sure. 
 
 84
 
 The Critic s«» Act I. Sc. i. 
 
 Sir Fret. Oh, so much the better. — Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 I wouldn't have it otherwise. 
 
 Dang. Certainly it is only to be laughed at ; for 
 
 Sir Fret. You don't happen to recollect what the 
 fellow said, do you ? 
 
 Sneer. Pray, Dangle — Sir Fretful seems a little 430 
 anxious 
 
 Sir Fret. O lud, no ! — anxious ! — not I, — not the 
 least. — I — but one may as well hear, you know. 
 
 Dang. Sneer, do you recollect? — \_Aside to Sneer. "^ 
 Make out something. 
 
 Sneer. \^uiside to Dangle.^ I will. — \_j4loud.~\ Yes, 
 yes, I remember perfectly. 
 
 Sir Fret. Well, and pray now — not that it signifies 
 — what might the gentleman say ? 
 
 Sneer. Why, he roundly asserts that you have not 44C 
 the slightest invention or original genius what- 
 ever ; though you are the greatest traducer of 
 all other authors living. 
 
 Sir Fret. Ha ! ha ! ha ! — very good ! 
 
 Sneer. That as to comedy, you have not one idea 
 of your own, he believes, even in your common- 
 place-book — where stray jokeo and pilfered 
 witticisms are kept with as much method as 
 the ledger of the lost and stolen office. 
 25
 
 Act I. Sc. L "is The Critic 
 
 Sir Fret. Ha! ha! ha! — very pleasant ! 450 
 
 Sneer. Nay, that you are so unlucky as not to have 
 the skill even to steal with taste : — but that 
 you glean from the refuse of obscure volumes, 
 where more judicious plagiarists have been 
 before you ; so that the body of your work is 
 a composition of dregs and sediments — like a 
 bad tavern's worst wine. 
 
 Sir Fret. Ha! ha! 
 
 Sneer. In your more serious efforts, he says, your 
 
 bombast would be less intolerable, if the 460 
 thoughts were ever suited to the expression ; 
 but the homeliness of the sentiment stares 
 through the fantastic encumbrance of its fine 
 language, like a clown in one of the new 
 uniforms ! 
 
 Sir Fret. Ha ! ha I 
 
 Sneer. That your occasional tropes and flowers 
 suit the general coarseness of your style, as 
 tambour sprigs would a ground of linsey- 
 woolsey ; while your imitations of Shakespeare 470 
 resemble the mimicry of Falstaff's page, and 
 are about as near the standard of the original. 
 
 Sir Fret. Ha I 
 
 Sneer. In short, that even the finest passages you 
 96
 
 The Critic ss» Act i. Sc. i. 
 
 steal are of no service to you ; for the poverty 
 of your own language prevents their assimilat- 
 ing ; so that they lie on the surface like lumps 
 of marl on a barren moor, encumbering what 
 it is not in their power to fertilise ! 
 
 Sir Fret. \_After great agitation.'] Now, another 480 
 person would be vexed at this. 
 
 Sneer. Oh ! but I wouldn't have told you — only 
 to divert you. 
 
 Sir Fret. I know it — I am diverted. — Ha ! ha ! 
 ha ! — not the least invention ! — Ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 — very good ! — very good ! 
 
 Sneer. Yes — no genius ! ha ! ha ! ha ! 
 
 Dang. A severe rogue ! ha ! ha ! ha ! But you 
 are quite right, Sir Fretful, never to read such 
 nonsense. 490 
 
 Sir Fret. To be sure — for if there is any thing to 
 one's praise, it is a foolish vanity to be gratified 
 at it ; and, if it is abuse, — why one is always 
 sure to hear of it from one damned good- 
 natured friend or another ! 
 
 Enter Servant. 
 
 Ser, Sir, there is an Italian gentleman, with a 
 French interpreter, and three young ladies, and
 
 Act I. Sc. L «=s The Critic 
 
 a dozen musicians, who say they are sent by 
 Lady Rondeau and Mrs Fugue. 
 
 Dang. Gadso ! they come by appointment ! — Dear 500 
 Mrs Dangle, do let them know I '11 see them 
 directly. 
 
 Mrs Dang. You know, Mr Dangle, I shan't under- 
 stand a word they say. 
 
 Dang. But you hear there 's an interpreter. 
 
 Mrs Dang. Well, I '11 try to endure their complais- 
 ance till you come. \_Extt. 
 
 Ser. And Mr Puff, sir, has sent word that the last 
 rehearsal is to be this morning, and that he '11 
 call on you presently. 510 
 
 Dang. That 's true — I shall certainly be at home. — 
 \_Exit Servant.^ Now, Sir Fretful, if you 
 have a mind to have justice done you in the 
 way of answer, egad, Mr Puff's your man. 
 
 Sir Fret. Psha ! Sir, why should I wish to have 
 it answered, when I tell you I am pleased at 
 it? 
 
 Dang. True, I had forgot that. But I hope you 
 are not fretted at what Mr Sneer 
 
 Sir Fret. Zounds! no, Mr Dangle; don't I tell 520 
 you these things never fret me in the least ? 
 
 Dang. Nay, I only thought
 
 The Critic ss» Acti. Sc. L 
 
 Sir Fret. And let me tell you, Mr Dangle, 'tia 
 damned affronting in you to suppose that I 
 am hurt when I tell you I am not. 
 
 Sneer. But why so warm, Sir Fretful ? 
 
 Sir Fret. Gad's life ! Mr Sneer, you are as absurd 
 as Dangle : how often must I repeat it to you, 
 that nothing can vex me but your supposing it 
 possible for me to mind the damned nonsense 530 
 you have been repeating to me ! — and, let me 
 tell you, if you continue to believe this, you 
 must mean to insult me, gentlemen — and, then, 
 your disrespect will affect me no more than the 
 newspaper criticisms — and I shall treat it with 
 exactly the same calm indifference and philo- 
 sophic contempt — and so your servant. \_Extt, 
 
 Sneer. Ha ! ha ! ha ! poor Sir Fretful ! Now will 
 he go and vent his philosophy in anonymous 
 abuse of all modem critics and authors. — But, 540 
 Dangle, you must get your friend Puff to take 
 me to the rehearsal of his tragedy. 
 
 Dang. I 'II answer for 't, he '11 thank you for desiring 
 it. But come and help me to judge of this 
 musical family : they are recommended by 
 people of consequence, I assure you. 
 
 Sneer. I am at your disposal the whole morning : —
 
 Act I. Sc. il '^ The Critic 
 
 but I thought you had been a decided critic in 
 music as well as in literature. 
 
 Dang. So I am — but I have a bad ear. I'faith, 550 
 Sneer, though, I am afraid we were a little 
 too severe on Sir Fretful — though he is my 
 friend. 
 
 Sneer. Why, *tis certain, that unnecessarily to 
 mortify the vanity of any writer is a cruelty 
 which mere dulness never can deserve ; but 
 where a base and personal malignity usurps the 
 place of literary emulation, the aggressor 
 deserves neither quarter nor pity. 
 
 Dang, That 's true, egad ! — though he *s my friend ! 560 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 ^ Drawing-room in Dangle* s House, 
 
 Mrs Dangle, Signor Pasticcio Ritornello, Signore Pasticcio 
 Ritornelloj Interpreter, and Musicians, discovered, 
 
 Irtterp, Je dis, madame, j'ai I'honneur to introduce et 
 de vous demander votre protection pour le 
 signor Pasticcio Ritornello et pour sa charmante 
 famille. 
 
 Signor Past. Ah ! vosignoria, noi vi preghiamo di 
 favoritevi coUa vostra protezione.
 
 The Critic ss» Act I. Sc. ii. 
 
 isi S'tgnora Past. Voslgnoria fatevi questi grazie. 
 
 2nd Signora Past. Si, signora. 
 
 Interp. Madame — me interpret. — C'est a dire — in 
 
 English — qu'ils vous prient de leur faire lO 
 
 I'honneur 
 
 Mrs Dang. I say again, gentleman, I don^t under- 
 stand a word you say. 
 
 S'lgnor Past. Questo signore spieghero 
 
 Interp. Oui — me interpret. — Nous avons Jes lettres 
 
 de recommendation pour monsieur Dangle 
 
 de 
 
 Mrs Dang. Upon my word, sir, I don't understand 
 
 you. 
 Signor Past. La contessa Rondeau ^ nostra padrona. 20 
 T^rd S'tgnora Past. Si, padre, et miladi Fugue. 
 Interp. O ! — me interpret. — Madame, ils disent — in 
 
 English — qu'ils ont I'honneur d'etre proteges 
 
 de ces dames. — You understand ? 
 Mrs Dang. No, sir, — no understand I 
 
 Enter Dangle and Sneer, 
 
 Interp. Ah, voici monsieur Dangle ! 
 All Italians. Ah ! signor Dangle ! 
 Mrs Dang. Mr Dangle, here are two very civil 
 gentlemen trying to make themselves under- 
 3«
 
 Actl. Sc. ii •« The Critic 
 
 stood, and I don't know which is the inter- 30 
 
 preter. 
 Dang. Eh, bien ! 
 
 [The Interpreter and S'lgnor Pasticcio here 
 speak at the same time, 
 Interp, Monsieur Dangle, le grand bruit de vos 
 
 talents pour la critique, et de votre interet avec 
 
 messieurs les directeurs a tous les theatres 
 
 S'lgnor Past. Vosignoria siete si famoso par la vostra 
 
 conoscenza, e vostra interessa colla le direttore 
 
 da 
 
 Dang. Egad, I think the interpreter is the hardest 
 
 to be understood of the two ! 40 
 
 Sneer. Why, I thought. Dangle, you had been an 
 
 admirable linguist ! 
 Dang. So I am, if they would not talk so damned 
 
 fast. 
 Sneer. Well, I '11 explain that — the less time we 
 
 lose in hearing them the better — for that, I 
 
 suppose, is what they are brought here for. 
 
 \jSpeaks to Signor Pasticcio — they sing trioSy 
 tsfc, Dangle beating out of time. 
 
 Enter Servant and luhispers Dangle. 
 
 Dang. Show him up. — \ Exit Servant. ~\ Bravo ! 
 3a
 
 The Critic S4» Act i. Sc. a. 
 
 admirable bravissimo ! admirabllssimo ! — Ah! 
 
 Sneer ! where will you find voices such as 50 
 
 these in England ? 
 Sneer. Not easily. 
 Dang. But Putf is coming. — Signor and little sig- 
 
 noras obligatissimo ! — Sposa signora Danglena 
 
 — Mrs Dangle, shall I beg you to offer them 
 
 some refreshments, and take their address in the 
 
 next room. 
 [_Exit Mrs Dangle with Signor Pasticcio, Signnre Pas^ 
 ticciOf Musicians^ and Interpreter, ceremoniously. 
 
 Re-enter Servant, 
 
 Ser. Mr Puff, sir. \_Exit. 
 
 Enter Puff. 
 
 Dang. My dear Puff! 
 
 Puff. My dear Dangle, how is it with you ? 60 
 
 Dang. Mr Sneer, give me leave to introduce Mr 
 
 Puff to you. 
 Puff. Mr Sneer is this ? — Sir, he is a gentleman 
 
 whom I have long panted for the honour of 
 
 knowing — a gentleman whose critical talents 
 
 and transcendent judgment 
 
 Sneer. Dear Sir 
 
 Dang. Nay, don't be modest. Sneer ; my friend 
 
 C 33
 
 Act I. Sc. ii. -^gs The Critic 
 
 PufF only talks to you in the style of his pro- 
 fession. 70 
 
 Sneer. His profession ! 
 
 Puff. Yes, sir ; I make no secret of the trade I 
 follow : among friends and brother authors, 
 Dangle knows I love to be frank on the sub- 
 ject, and to advertise myself v'lvd voce. — I am, 
 sir, a practitioner in panegyric, or, to speak 
 more plainly, a professor of the art of puffing, 
 at your service — or anybody else's. 
 
 Sneer. Sir, you are very obliging! — I believe, Mr 
 
 PufF, I have often admired your talents in the 80 
 daily prints. 
 
 Puff. Yes, sir, I flatter myself I do as much business 
 in that way as any six of the fraternity in town. 
 — Devilish hard work all the summer, friend 
 Dangle, — never worked harder ! But, hark'ee, 
 — the winter managers were a little sore, I 
 believe. 
 
 Dang. No ; I believe they took it all in good 
 part. 
 
 Puff. Ay ! then that must have been affectation in 90 
 them ; for, egad, there were some of the attacks 
 which there was no laughing at ! 
 
 Sneer. Ay, the humorous ones. — But I should think, 
 
 3i
 
 The Critic s^* Act I. Sc. ii. 
 
 Mr PufF, that authors would in general be able 
 to do this sort of work for themselves. 
 
 Puff", Why, yes — but in a clumsy way. Besides, 
 we look on that as an encroachment, and so 
 take the opposite side. I dare say, now, you 
 conceive half the very civil paragraphs and 
 advertisements you see to be written by the lOO 
 parties concerned, or their friends ? No such 
 thing : nine out of ten manufactured by me in 
 the way of business. 
 
 Sneer. Indeed ! 
 
 Puff. Even the auctioneers now — the auctioneers, 
 I say — though the rogues have lately got some 
 credit for their language — not an article of the 
 merit theirs : take them out of their pulpits, and 
 they are as dull as catalogues ! — No, sir ; 'twas 
 I first enriched their style — 'twas I first taught iic 
 them to crowd their advertisements with pane- 
 gyrical superlatives, each epithet rising above 
 the other, like the bidders in their own auction- 
 rooms ! From me they learned to inlay their 
 phraseology with variegated chips of exotic 
 metaphor: by me too their inventive faculties 
 were called forth ; — yes, sir, by me they were 
 instructed to clothe ideal walls with gratuitous 
 
 35
 
 Act I. Sc. iL "^ The Critic 
 
 fruits — to insinuate obsequious rivulets into 
 visionary groves — to teach courteous shrubs 120 
 to nod their approbation of the grateful soil ; 
 or on emergencies to raise upstart oaks, where 
 there never had been an acorn ; to create a 
 delightful vicinage without the assistance of a 
 neighbour ; or fix the temple of Hygeia in 
 the fens of Lincolnshire ! 
 
 Dang. I am sure you have done them infinite service ; 
 for now, when a gentleman is ruined, he parts 
 with his house with some credit. 
 
 Sneer. Service! if they had any gratitude, they 130 
 would erect a statue to him ; they would 
 figure him as a presiding Mercury, the god of 
 traffic and fiction, with a hammer in his hand 
 instead of a caduceus. — But pray, Mr PufF, 
 what first put you on exercising your talents in 
 this way ? 
 
 Puff. Egad, sir, sheer necessity! — the proper parent 
 of an art so nearly allied to invention. You 
 must know, Mr Sneer, that from the first time 
 I tried my hand at an advertisement, my success 140 
 was such, that for some time afier I led a most 
 extraordinary life indeed ! 
 
 Sneer. How, pray ? 
 
 36
 
 The Critic s:» Act i. Sc. li. 
 
 Puff. Sir, I supported myself two years entirely by 
 my misfortunes. 
 
 Sneer. By your misfortunes ! 
 
 Puff. Yes, sir, assisted by long sickness, and other 
 occasional disorders ; and a very comfortable 
 living I had of it. 
 
 Sneer. From sickness and misfortunes ! You practised 1 50 
 as a doctor and an attorney at once ? 
 
 PuJ". No, egad ; both maladies and miseries were 
 my own. 
 
 Sneer. Hey ! what the plague ! 
 
 Dang. 'Tis true, i' faith. 
 
 Puff. Hark'ee! — By advertisements — To the charit- 
 able and humane / and To those nvhom Provi- 
 dence hath blessed ivith affiuence ! 
 
 Sneer. Oh, I understand you. 
 
 Puff. And, in truth, I deserved what I got; for I 160 
 suppose never man went through such a series 
 of calamities in the same space of time. Sir, I 
 was five times made a bankrupt, and reduced 
 from a state of affluence, by a train of unavoid- 
 able misfortunes : then, sir, though a very in- 
 dustrious tradesman, I was twice burned out, 
 and lost my little all both times : I lived upon 
 those fires a month. I soon after was confined 
 
 37
 
 Act I. Sc. iL «^ The Critic 
 
 by a most excruciating disorder, and lost the 
 use of my limbs: that told very well ; for I 170 
 had the case strongly attested, and went about 
 to collect the subscriptions myself. 
 
 Dang. Egad, I believe that was when you first called 
 on me. 
 
 Puff. In November last ? — O no ; I was at that time 
 a close prisoner in the Marshalsea, for a debt 
 benevolently contracted to serve a friend. I 
 was afterwards twice tapped for a dropsy, which 
 declined into a very profitable consumption. I 
 was then reduced to — O no — then, I became a 180 
 widow with six helpless children, after having 
 had eleven husbands pressed, and being left 
 every time eight months gone with child, and 
 without money to get me into an hospital ! 
 
 Sneer. And you bore all with patience, I make no 
 doubt ? 
 
 Puff. Why, yes ; though 1 made some occasional 
 attempts at felo de se ; but as I did not find 
 those rash actions answer, I left off killing my- 
 self very soon. Well, sir, at last, what with 190 
 bankruptcies, fires, gouts, dropsies, imprison- 
 ments, and other valuable calamities, having 
 got together a pretty handsome sum, I deter-
 
 The Critic ^^ Act i. Sc. ii. 
 
 mined to quit a business which had always gone 
 rather against my conscience, and in a more 
 liberal way still to indulge my talents for fiction 
 and embellishments, through my favourite 
 channels of diurnal communication — and so, sir, 
 you have my history. 
 
 Sneer. Most obligingly communicative indeed ! and 200 
 your confession, if published, might certainly 
 serve the cause of true charity, by rescuing the 
 most useful channels of appeal to benevolence 
 from the cant of imposition. But surely, Mr 
 Puff, there is no great mystery in your present 
 profession ? 
 
 Puff. Mystery, sir ! I will take upon me to say the 
 matter was never scientifically treated nor re- 
 duced to rule before. 
 
 Sneer. Reduced to rule ! 2iO 
 
 Puffl O lud, sir, you are very ignorant, I am afraid! 
 — Yes, sir, puffing is of various sorts; the prin- 
 cipal are, the puff direct, the puff preliminary, 
 the puff collateral, and the pufF collusive, and the 
 puff oblique, or puff by implication. These all 
 assume, as circumstances require, the various 
 forms of Letter to the Editor, Occasional 
 Anecdote, Impartial Critique, Observation from
 
 Act I. Sc. ii. 'iS The Critic 
 
 Correspondent, or Advertisement from the 
 Party. 2 20 
 
 Sneer. The puff direct, I can conceive 
 
 Puff". O yes, that's simple enough! For instance, — 
 a new comedy or farce is to be produced at one 
 of the theatres (though by-the-by they don't 
 bring out half what they ought to do) — the 
 author, suppose Mr Smatter, or Mr Dapper, 
 or any particular friend of mine — very well ; 
 the day before it is to be performed, I write an 
 account of the manner in which it was received; 
 I have the plot from the author, and only add 230 
 — "characters strongly drawn — highly coloured 
 — hand of a master — fund of genuine humour — 
 mine of invention — neat dialogue — Attic salt." 
 Then for the performance — " Mr Dodd was 
 astonishingly great in the character of Sir 
 Harry. That universal and judicious actor, 
 Mr Palmer, perhaps never appeared to more 
 advantage than in the colonel ; — but it is not 
 in the power of language to do justice to Mr 
 King : indeed he more than merited those re- 240 
 peated bursts of applause which he drew from 
 a most brilliant and judicious audience. As to 
 the scenery — the miraculous powers of Mr De
 
 The Critic Si* Act i. Sc. ii. 
 
 Loutherbourg's pencil are universally acknow- 
 ledged. In short, we are at a loss which to 
 admire most, the unrivalled genius of the author, 
 the great attention and liberality of the managers, 
 the wonderful abilities of the painter, or the in- 
 credible exertions of all the performers." 
 
 Sneer. That 's pretty well indeed, sir. 250 
 
 Puff". Oh, cool ! — quite cool ! — to what I sometimes 
 do. 
 
 Sneer. And do you think there are any who are 
 influenced by this ? 
 
 Puff'. O lud, yes, sir ! the number of those who 
 undergo the fatigue of judging for themselves is 
 very small indeed. 
 
 Sneer. Well, sir, the puff preliminary ? 
 
 Puf. O, that, sir, does well in the form of a caution. 
 
 In a matter of gallantry now — Sir Flimsy 260 
 Gossamer wishes to be well with Lady Fanny 
 Fete — he applies to me — I open trenches for 
 him with a paragraph in the "Morning Post." — 
 ** It is recommended to the beautiful and accom- 
 plished Lady F four stars F dash E to be on 
 her guard against that dangerous character. Sir 
 F dash G ; who, however pleasing and insinu- 
 ating his manners may be, is certainly not
 
 Acti. Sc. ii. «2S The Critic 
 
 remarkable for the constancy of his attachments ! " 
 — in italics. Here, you see, Sir Flimsy 270 
 Gossamer is introduced to the particular notice 
 of Lady Fanny, who perhaps never thought 
 of him before — she finds herself publicly 
 cautioned to avoid him, which naturally makes 
 her desirous of seeing him ; the observation of 
 their acquaintance causes a pretty kind of 
 mutual embarrassment ; this produces a sort of 
 sympathy of interest which if Sir Flimsy is 
 unable to improve effectually, he at least gains 
 the credit of having their names mentioned 280 
 together by a particular set, and in a particular 
 way — which nine times out of ten is the full 
 accomplishment of modern gallantry. 
 
 Dang. Egad, Sneer, you will be quite an adept in 
 the business ! 
 
 Puff. Now, sir, the puff collateral is much used as 
 an appendage to advertisements, and may take 
 the form of anecdote. — " Yesterday, as the 
 celebrated George Bonmot was sauntering 
 down St James's Street, he met the lively 290 
 Lady Mary Myrtle coming out of the park: — 
 * Good God, Lady Mary, I *m surprised to 
 meet you in a white jacket, — for I expected 
 4a
 
 The Critic Si* Act I. Sc. ii. 
 
 never to have seen you, but in a full-trimmed 
 uniform and a light horseman's cap ! ' — 
 * Heavens, George, where could you have 
 learned that ? ' — * Why,' replied the wit, * I 
 just saw a print of you, in a new publication 
 called the Camp Magazine ; which, by the by, 
 is a devilish clever thing, and is sold at No. 3, 300 
 on the right hand of the way, two doors from 
 the printing-office, the corner of Ivy Lane, 
 Paternoster Row, price only one shilling.' " 
 
 Sneer. Very ingenious indeed ! 
 
 Puff. But the puff collusive is the newest of any ; 
 for it acts in the disguise of determined hostility. 
 It is much used by bold booksellers and enter- 
 prising poets. — " An indignant correspondent 
 observes, that the new poem called Beel%ebuFs 
 Cotillon, or Proserpine^ s Fete Champetre, is one 310 
 of the most unjustifiable performances he ever 
 read. The severity with which certain 
 characters are handled is quite shocking : and 
 as there are many descriptions in it too warmly 
 coloured for female delicacy, the shameful 
 avidity with which this piece is bought by all 
 people of fashion is a reproach on the taste of 
 the times, and a disgrace to the delicacy of the 
 43
 
 Act I. Sc. iL «^ The Critic 
 
 age." Here you see the two stiongest induce- 
 ments are held forth; first, that nobody ought 320 
 to read it ; and secondly, that everybody buys 
 it : on the strength of which the publisher 
 boldly prints the tenth edition, before he had 
 sold ten of the first ; and then establishes 
 it by threatening himself with the pillory, or 
 absolutely indicting himself for scan. mag. 
 
 Dang. Ha ! ha ! ha ; — 'gad, I know it is so. 
 
 Puff'. As to the puff oblique, or puff by implication, 
 it is too various and extensive to be illustrated 
 by an instance : it attracts in titles and presumes 330 
 in patents ; it lurks in the limitation of a sub- 
 scription, and invites in the assurance of crowd 
 and incommodation at public places ; it delights 
 to draw forth concealed merit, with a most dis- 
 interested assiduity ; and sometimes wears a 
 countenance of smiling censure and tender 
 reproach. It has a wonderful memory for 
 parliamentary debates, and will often give the 
 whole speech of a favoured member with the 
 most flattering accuracy. But, above all, it is 34O 
 a great dealer in reports and suppositions. It 
 has the earliest intelligence of intended prefer- 
 ments that will reflect honour on the patrons ;
 
 The Critic ^s* Act i. Sc. iL 
 
 and embryo promotions of modest gentlemen, 
 who know nothing of the matter themselves. 
 It can hint a ribbon for implied services in the 
 air of a common report ; and with the careless- 
 ness of a casual paragraph, suggest officers into 
 commands, to which they have no pretension 
 but their wishes. This, sir, is the last prin- 350 
 cipal class of the art of puffing — an art which I 
 hope you will now agree with me is of the 
 highest dignity, yielding a tablature of benevo- 
 lence and public spirit ; befriending equally 
 trade, gallantry, criticism, and politics : the 
 applause of genius — the register of charity — 
 the triumph of heroism — the self-defence of 
 contractors — the fame of orators — and the 
 gazette of ministers. 
 
 Sneer, Sir, I am completely a convert both to the 360 
 importance and ingenuity of your profession ; 
 and now, sir, there is but one thing which 
 can possibly increase my respect for you, and 
 that is, your permitting me to be present 
 this morning at the rehearsal of your new 
 trage 
 
 Puff. Hush, for heaven's sake! — My tragedy! — 
 Egad, Dangle, I take this very ill : you know 
 
 45
 
 Acti. Sc. ii. OS The Critic 
 
 how apprehensive I am of being known to be 
 
 the author. 370 
 
 Dang. V faith I would not have told — but it's 
 in the papers, and your name at length in the 
 " Morning Chronicle." 
 
 Puff". Ah ! those damned editors never can keep a 
 secret! — Well, Mr Sneer, no doubt you will 
 do me great honour — I shall be infinitely happy 
 — highly flattered 
 
 Dang. I believe it must be near the time — shall we 
 go together ? 
 
 Puff. No ; it will not be yet this hour, for they are 38c 
 always late at that theatre : besides, I must 
 meet you there, for I have some little matters 
 here to send to the papers, and a few para- 
 graphs to scribble before I go. — [_Looking at 
 memorandums. ~\ Here is ^ conscientious Baker ^ 
 on the subject of the Army Bread ; and A 
 Detester of visible Brickivork, in favour of the 
 neiu-invented Stucco ; both in the style of 
 Junius, and promised for to-morrow. The 
 Thames navigation too is at a stand. Misomud 390 
 or Anti-shoal must go to work again directly. 
 — Here too are some political memorandums — 
 I see ; ay — To take Paul Jones, and get the 
 46
 
 The Critics^ Act ii. Sc. ;. 
 
 Indiamen out of the Shannon — reinjorce Byron — 
 compel the Dutch to — so ! — I must do that in the 
 evening papers, or reserve it for the " Morning 
 Herald ; " for I know that I have undertaken 
 to-morrow, besides, to establish the unanimity 
 of the fleet in the " Public Advertiser," 
 and to shoot Charles Fox in the " Morning 400 
 Post." — So, egad, I ha'n't a moment to lose ! 
 Dang. Well, we '11 meet in the Green Room. 
 
 [Exeunt severally- 
 
 Act Second. 
 
 Scene I. 
 
 The Theatre, before the Curtain. 
 
 Enter Dangle, Puff, and Sneer. 
 
 Puff". No, no, sir ; what Shakespeare says of actors 
 may be better applied to the purpose of plays ; 
 they ought to be the abstract and briej chronicles 
 of the time. Therefore when history, and par- 
 ticularly the history of our own country, 
 furnishes any thing like a case in point, to the 
 time in which an author writes, if he knows 
 his own interest, he will take advantage of it ; 
 47
 
 Act II. Sc. L ^^ The Critic 
 
 so, sir, I call my tragedy The Spanish j^rmada^ 
 and have laid the scene before Tilbury Fort, lo 
 
 Sneer. A most happy thought, certainly ! 
 
 Dang. Egad it was — I told you so. But pray now, 
 I don't understand how you have contrived to 
 introduce any love into it. 
 
 Puff". Love! oh, nothing so easy ! for it is a received 
 point among poets, that where history gives you 
 a good heroic outline for a play, you may fill 
 up with a little love at your own discretion : in 
 doing which, nine times out of ten, you only 
 make up a deficiency in the private history of 20 
 the times. Now I rather think I have done 
 this with some success. 
 
 Sneer. No scandal about Queen Elizabeth, I hope ? 
 
 Puff". O lud ! no, no ; — I only suppose the governor 
 of Tilbury Fort's daughter to be in love with 
 the son of the Spanish admiral. 
 
 Sneer. Oh, is that all ! 
 
 Dang. Excellent, i' faith ! I see at once. But won't 
 this appear rather improbable ? 
 
 Puff. To be sure it will — but what the plague ! a 30 
 play is not to show occurrences that happen 
 every day, but things just so strange, that 
 though they never did, they might happen.
 
 The Critic ^s. Act li. Sc. i. 
 
 Sneer. Certainly nothing is unnatural, that is not 
 physically impossible. 
 
 Puff. Very true — and for that matter Don Ferolo 
 Whiskerandos, for that's the lover's name, 
 might have been over here in the train of the 
 Spanish Ambassador ; or Tilburina, for that is 
 the lady's name, might have been in love with 40 
 him, from having heard his character, or seen 
 his picture ; or from knowing that he was the 
 last man in the world she ought to be in love 
 with — or for any other good female reason. — 
 However, sir, the fact is, that though she is 
 but a knight's daughter, egad ! she is in love 
 like any princess ! 
 
 Dang. Poor young lady ! I feel for her already ! 
 for I can conceive how great the conflict must 
 be between her passion and her duty ; her 50 
 love for her country, and her love for Don 
 Ferolo Whiskerandos ! 
 
 Puff. Oh, amazing ! — her poor susceptible heart 
 is swayed to and fro by contending passions 
 
 like 
 
 Enter Under Prompter. 
 
 Und. Promp. Sir, the scene is set, and every thing 
 is ready to begin, if you please. 
 d 49
 
 Act II. Sc. i. "ss The Critic 
 
 Pujf. Egad, then we '11 lose no time. 
 
 Und. Promp. Though, I believe, sir, you uill find 
 
 it very short, for all the performers have pro- 6o 
 fited by the kind permission you granted them. 
 
 Puff". Hey! what? 
 
 Und. Promp, You know, sir, you gave them leave 
 to cut out or omit whatever they found heavy 
 or unnecessary to the plot, and 1 must own 
 they have taken very liberal advantage of your 
 indulgence. 
 
 Puff", Well, well. — They are in general very good 
 judges, and I know I am luxuriant. — Now, 
 Mr Hopkins, as soon as you please. 70 
 
 Und. Promp. \_To the Orchestra.^ Gentlemen, will 
 you play a few bars of something, just to 
 
 Puf. Ay, that's right ; for as we have the scenes 
 and dresses, egad, we '11 go to 't, as if it was 
 the first night's performance ; — but you need 
 not mind stopping between the acts. — [^Exit 
 Under Prompter. — Orchestra play — then the 
 bell rings.~\ So ! stand clear, gentlemen. Now 
 you know there will be a cry of Down ! down ! 
 — Hats off! — Silence! — Then up curtain, and 80 
 let us see what our painters have done for us. 
 
 \_Curtain rises.
 
 The Critic s^ Act II. Sc. u. 
 
 Scene II. 
 
 Tilbury Fort, 
 ** Tiuo Sentinels discovered asleep,'' 
 
 Dang. Tilbury Fort! — very fine indeed! 
 
 Puff'. Now, what do you think I open with ? 
 
 Sneer, Faith, I can't guess 
 
 Puf, A clock Hark! — [C/ofi strikes.^ I open 
 
 with a clock striking, to beget an awful atten- 
 tion in the audience : it also marks the time, 
 which is four o'clock in the morning, and saves 
 a description of the rising sun, and a great deal 
 about gilding the eastern hemisphere. 
 
 Dang. But pray, are the sentinels to be asleep ? lO 
 
 Puff. Fast as watchmen. 
 
 Sneer. Isn't that odd though at such an alarming 
 crisis ? 
 
 Puff. To be sure it is, — but smaller things must give 
 way to a striking scene at the opening ; that 's 
 a rule. And the case is, that two great men 
 are coming to this very spot to begin the piece : 
 now, it is not to be supposed they would open 
 their lips, if these fellows were watching them ;
 
 Actii. Sc. ii. OS The Critic 
 
 so, egad, I must either have sent them off their 20 
 posts, or set them asleep. 
 
 Sneer. Oh, that accounts for it. — But tell us, who 
 are these coming ? 
 
 Puff. These are they — Sir Walter Raleigh, and 
 Sir Christopher Hatton You'll know Sir 
 Christopher by his turning out his toes — 
 famous, you know, for his dancing. I like to 
 preserve all the little traits of character. — 
 Now attend. 
 
 ** Enter Sir Walter Raleigh and Sir Christopher Hatton. 
 Sir Christ. True, gallant Raleigh ! '' — 30 
 
 Dang. What, they had been talking before ? 
 
 Puff". O yes; all the way as they came along. — 
 [To the jictors.~\ I beg pardon, gentlemen, 
 but these are particular friends of mine, 
 whose remarks may be of great service to 
 us. — [To Sneer and D angle. ~\ Don't mind in- 
 terrupting them whenever anything strikes you, 
 
 " Sir Christ. True, gallant Raleigh ! 
 
 But oh, thou champion of thy country's fame, 
 There is a question which I yet must ask : 4O 
 
 A question which I never asked before —
 
 The Critic Si* Actii.Sc. ii. 
 
 What mean these mighty armaments ? 
 
 This general muster ? and this throng of chiefs ? *' 
 
 Sneer. Pray, Mr Puff, how came Sir Christopher 
 Hatton never to ask that question before ? 
 
 Puff. What, before the play began ? — how the plague 
 could he ? 
 
 Dang. That 's true, i' faith ! 
 
 Puff. But you will hear what he thinks of the 
 
 matter. 50 
 
 ** Sir Christ. Alas ! my noble friend, when I behold 
 Yon tented plains in martial symmetry 
 Arrayed ; when I count o'er yon glittering lines 
 Of crested warriors, where the proud steeds' neigh 
 And valour- breathing trumpet's shrill appeal, 
 Responsive vibrate on my listening ear ; 
 When virgin majesty herself I view. 
 Like her protecting Pallas, veiled in steel, 
 With graceful confidence exhort to arms ! 
 When, briefly, all I hear or see bears stamp 60 
 
 Of martial vigilance and stern defence, 
 I cannot but surmise — forgive, my friend. 
 If the conjecture 's rash — I cannot but 
 Surmise the state some danger apprehends ! " 
 
 Sneer. A very cautious conjecture that. 
 53
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. •^ The Critic 
 
 Pu§. Yes, that \ his character ; not to give an 
 opinion but on secure grounds. — Now then. 
 
 " 5/r Walt. O most accomplished Christopher ! " 
 
 Puff. He calls him by his christian name, to show 
 
 that they are on the most familiar terms. 70 
 
 " Sir Walt. O most accomplished Christopher 1 I find 
 Thy staunch sagacity still tracks the future, 
 In the fresh print of the o'ertaken past." 
 
 Puff. Figurative ! 
 
 « Sir Walt. Thy fears are just. 
 
 Sir Christ. But where ? whence ? when .' and what 
 The danger is, — methinks I fain would learn. 
 
 Sir Walt. You know, my friend, scarce two revolving 
 suns, 
 And three revolving moons, have closed their course. 
 Since haughty Philip, in despite of peace, 80 
 
 With hostile hand hath struck at England's trade. 
 
 Sir Christ. I know it well. 
 
 Sir Walt. Philip, you know, is proud Iberia's king I 
 
 Sir Christ. He is. 
 
 Sir Walt. His subjects in base bigotry 
 
 And Catholic oppression held ; — while we, 
 You know, the Protestant persuasion hold. 
 
 54
 
 The Critic ^» Act II. Sc. ii. 
 
 Sir Christ. We do. 
 
 Sir Wait. You know, beside, his boasted armament, 
 
 The famed Armada, by the Pope baptized, 90 
 
 With purpose to invade these realms 
 
 Sir Christ. Is sailed, 
 
 Our last advices so report. 
 Sir Walt. While the Iberian admiral's chief hope, 
 
 His darling son 
 
 Sir Christ. Ferolo Whiskerandos hight 
 
 Sir IValt, The same — by chance a prisoner hath been 
 ta'en. 
 
 And in this fort of Tilbury 
 
 Sir Christ. Is now 
 
 Confined — *tis true, and oft from yon tall turret's top 
 
 I Ve marked the youthful Spaniard's haughty mien — 
 
 Unconquered, though in chains. 
 Sir Walt. You also know " 
 
 Dang. Mr Puff, as he knows all this, why does Sir 100 
 
 Walter go on telling him ? 
 Puff. But the audience are not supposed to know 
 
 any thing of the matter, are they ? 
 Sneer. True ; but I think you manage ill ; for there 
 
 certainly appears no reason why Sir Walter 
 
 should be so communicative.
 
 Actii. Sc. ii. cs The Critic 
 
 Puff". 'Fore Gad, now, that is one of the most un- 
 grateful observations I ever heard ! — for the less 
 inducement he has to tell all this, the more, I 
 think, you ought to be obliged to him ; for I am 1 1 o 
 sure you'd know nothing of the matter without it. 
 
 Dang. That *s very true, upon my word. 
 
 Puff. But you will find he was not going on. 
 
 "iS/r Christ. Enough, enough — 'tis plain — and I no 
 more 
 Am in amazement lost ! '' 
 
 Puff. Here, now you see. Sir Christopher did not 
 in fact ask any one question for his own 
 information. 
 
 Sneer. No, indeed : his has been a most disinterested 
 
 curiosity! 120 
 
 Dang. Really, I find, we are very much obliged to 
 them both. 
 
 Puff". To be sure you are. Now then for the 
 commander-in-chief, the Earl of Leicester, 
 who, you know, was no favourite but of the 
 queen's. — We left off — in amazement lost ' 
 
 " Sir Christ. Am in amazement lost. 
 
 But, see where noble Leicester comes ! supreme 
 In honours and command. 
 56
 
 ^v 
 
 The Critic si» Act ii. Sc. ii. 
 
 Sir JVah. And yet, methinks, 
 
 At such a time, so perilous, so feared, i 30 
 
 That staff might well become an abler grasp. 
 
 Sir Christ. And so, by Heaven ! think I ; but soft, 
 he 's here ! " 
 
 Puff. Ay, they envy him ! 
 
 Sneer. But who are these with him ? 
 
 Puff". Oh ! very vahant knights : one is the governor 
 of the fort, the other the master of the horse, 
 '^nd now, I think, you shall hear some better 
 language : I was obliged to be plain and intel- 
 ligible in the first scene, because there was so 
 much matter of fact in it ; but now, i* faith, 14O 
 you have trope, figure, and metaphor, as plenty 
 as noun-substantives. 
 
 " Enter Earl of Leicester^ Governor^ Master of the 
 Horse f Knights, ^c. 
 
 Leic. How 's this, my friends ! 
 fledged zeal ■ 
 i And plumed valour moulds in roosted sloth ? 
 Why dimly glimmers that heroic flame. 
 Whose reddening blaze, by patriot spirit fed^ 
 Should be the beacon of a kindHng realm ? / 
 Can the quick current of a patriot heart 
 57
 
 Actii. Sc. ii. «2S The Critic 
 
 Thus stagnate in a cold and weedy converse, 
 
 Or freeze in tideless inactivity ? 1 50 
 
 No ! rather let the fountain of your valour 
 
 Spring through each stream of enterprise, 
 
 Each petty channel of conducive daring, 
 
 Till the full torrent of your foaming wrath 
 
 O'erwhelm the flats of sunk hostility 1 " 
 
 Puff, There it is — followed up ! 
 
 " Sir Walt. No more ! — the freshening breath of thy 
 rebuke 
 
 Hath filled the swelling canvas of our souls ! 
 
 And thus, though fate should cut the cable of 
 
 [_All take hands. 
 
 Our topmost hopes, in friendship's closing line 160 
 
 We '11 grapple with despair, and if we fall, 
 
 We '11 fall in glory's wake ! 
 Leic. There spoke old England's genius! - .*^; 
 
 Then, are we all resolved ? • .-f' I ' " ' / 
 
 AIL We are — all resolved. 
 TTeic, To conquer — or be free ? 
 All. To conquer, or be free. 
 12c. All? 
 All^ All." 
 
 Dang, Nem. con. egad ! 1 70
 
 The Critic ^s. Actii. Sc. ii. 
 
 Puff. O yes! — where they do agree on the stage, 
 their unanimity is wonderful ! 
 
 " Le'ic. Then let 's embrace — and now \_Kneels.^' 
 
 Sneer. What the plague, is he going to pray ? 
 Puff". Yes ; hush ! — in great emergencies, there is 
 nothing like a prayer. 
 
 " Lelc. O mighty Mars ! " 
 
 Dang. But why should he pray to Mars ? 
 Puff. Hush! 
 
 ^^ Leic. If in thy homage bred, i8o 
 
 Each point of discipline I 've still observed j 
 Nor but by due promotion, and the right 
 Of service, to the rank of major-general 
 Have risen ; assist thy votary now ! 
 
 Gov. Yet do not rise — hear me I J^Kneeh, 
 
 Mast. And me ! [_Kneels. 
 
 Knight, And me ! \_Kneels. 
 
 Sir IValt. And me ! ^Kneeh. 
 
 Sir Christ. And me ! \_Kneels.'' 
 
 Puff. Now pray altogether, 190 
 
 ** AJl» Behold thy votaries submissive beg, 
 
 That thou wilt deign to grant them all they ask ; 
 Assist them to accomplish all their ends^ 
 59
 
 Actil. Sc. ii. -iS The Critic 
 
 And sanctify whatever means they use 
 To gain them ! *' 
 
 Sneer. A very orthodox quintette ! 
 
 Puff". Vastly well, gentlemen ! — Is that well managed 
 
 or not ? Have you such a prayer as that on the 
 
 stage ? 
 Sneer. Not exactly. 200 
 
 Le'tc. \_To Puff.~\ But, sir, you haven't settled how 
 
 we are to get off here. 
 Puff. You could not go off kneeling, could you ? 
 Sir IValt, \_To Puff'.~\ O no, sir; impossible! 
 Puff. It would have a good effect, i' faith, if you 
 
 could exeunt praying ! — Yes, and would vary 
 
 the established mode of springing off with a 
 
 glance at the pit. 
 Sneer. Oh, never mind, so as you get them off! — 
 
 I '11 answer for it, the audience won't care how. 2 10 
 Puff. Well, then, repeat the last line standing, and 
 
 go off the old way. 
 
 **-^^ And sanctify whatever means we use 
 
 To gain them. [Exeunt.^^ 
 
 Dang, Bravo ! a fine exit. 
 
 Sneer. Well, really, Mr Puff 
 
 Puff. Stay a moment !
 
 The Critic s«» Actil. Sc ii. 
 
 ** The Sentinels get up. 
 
 1st Sent. All this shall to Lord Burleigh's ear. 
 
 2nd Sent. 'Tis meet it should. \^Exeunt.** 
 
 Dang. Hey! — why, I thought those fellows had 220 
 been asleep ? 
 
 Pu^. Only a pretence ; there 's the art of it : they 
 were spies of Lord Burleigh's. 
 
 Sneer. But isn't it odd they never were taken notice 
 of, not even by the commander-in-chief? 
 
 Pu^. O lud, sir ! if people, who want to listen or 
 overhear, were not always connived at in a 
 tragedy, there would be no carrying on any 
 plot in the world. 
 
 Dang. That 's certain ! 230 
 
 Pu^. But take care, my dear Dangle ! the morning- 
 gun is going to fire. \_CannonJires. 
 
 Dang. Well, that will have a fine effect ! 
 
 Puff. I think so, and helps to realise the scene. — 
 [_Cannon t'wice.~\ What the plague ! three 
 morning guns! there never is but one! — Ay, 
 this is always the way at the theatre : give these 
 fellows a good thing, and they never know when 
 to have done with it. — You have no more 
 cannon to fire? 2 40 
 
 6s
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. «=s The Critic 
 
 Und. Promp. \JVithinr\ No, sir. 
 
 Puff. Now, then, for soft music. 
 
 Sneer, Pray what 's that for ? 
 
 Puff. It shows that Tilburina is coming ; — nothing 
 
 introduces you a heroine Hke soft music. Here 
 
 she comes ! 
 Dang. And her confidant, I suppose ? 
 Puff. To be sure ! Here they are — inconsolable to 
 
 the minuet in Ariadne ! C'^'^^ music . 
 
 " Enter Tilhurtna and Confidant. 
 
 T'tlh. Now has the whispering breath of gentle mom 
 Bid Nature's voice and Nature's beauty rise; 251 
 While orient Phoebus, with unborrowed hues, 
 Clothes the waked loveliness which all night slept 
 In heavenly drapery ! Darkness is fled. 
 Now flowers unfold their beauties to the sun, 
 And, blushing, kiss the beam he sends to wake 
 
 them — 
 The striped carnation, and the guarded rose, 
 The vulgar wallflower, and smart gillyflower, 
 The polyanthus mean — the dapper daisy. 
 Sweet-william, and sweet marjoram — and all 260 
 The tribe of single and of double pinks ! 
 Now, too, the feathered warblers tune their notes
 
 The Critics^ Actii. Sc ii. 
 
 Around, and charm the listening grove. The lark ! 
 The linnet ! chaffinch ! bullfinch ! goldfinch ! green- 
 finch ! 
 But O, to me no joy can they afford ! 
 Nor rose, nor wallflower, nor smart gillyflower, 
 Nor polyanthus mean, nor dapper daisy. 
 Nor William sweet, nor marjoram — nor lark, 
 Linnet, nor all the finches of the grove ! " 
 
 Puff' Your white handkerchief, madam! 270 
 
 Tilh. I thought, sir, I wasn't to use that till heart- 
 rending ivoe. 
 Puff". O yes, madam, at the finches of the grove. If 
 you please. 
 
 « Tilb. Nor lark. 
 
 Linnet, nor all the finches of the grove! [^IVeepsJ'* 
 
 Puff". Vastly well, madam! 
 Dang. Vastly well, indeed ! 
 
 ** Tilb. For, O, too sure, heart-rending woe is now 
 The lot of wretched Tilburina ! '' 280 
 
 Dang. Oh ! — *tis too much ! 
 Sneer. Oh ! — it is indeed I 
 
 " Con. Be comforted, sweet lady ; for who knows, 
 But Heaven has yet some milk-white day in store ? 
 63
 
 Actii.Sc.il. "ss The Critic 
 
 Tilb. Alas I my gentle Nora, 
 
 Thy tender youth as yet hath never mourned 
 Love's fatal dart. Else wouldst thou know, that 
 
 when 
 The soul is sunk in comfortless despair, 
 It cannot taste of merriment." 
 
 Dang. That 's certain ! 29c 
 
 " Con, But see where your stern father comes : 
 It is not meet that he should find you thus." 
 
 Puff". Hey, what the plrgue ! — what a cut is here ! 
 Why, what is b'ecome of the description of her 
 first meeting with Don Whiskerandos — his 
 gallant behaviour in the sea-fight — and the 
 simile of the canary-bird ? 
 
 Tilb. Indeed, sir, you '11 find they will not be missed. 
 
 Puff". Very well, very well ! 
 
 Tilb. [To Confidant.~\ The cue, ma'am, if you please. 300 
 »* Con. It is not meet that he should find you thus. 
 Tilb. Thou counsel'st right ; but 'tis no easy task 
 For barefaced grief to wear a mask of joy. 
 
 Enter Governor. 
 
 Gov. How 's this ! in tears ? — O Tilburina, shame I 
 Is this a time for maudling tenderness, 
 64
 
 The Critic si» Actii. Sc. u. 
 
 And Cupid's baby woes ? — Hast thou not heard 
 That haughty Spain's pope-consecrated fleet 
 Advances to our shores, while England's fate, 
 Like a clipped guinea, trembles in the scale ? 
 Tilb. Then is the crisis of my fate at hand ! 310 
 
 I see the fleets approach — I see '' 
 
 Puff". Now, pray, gendemen, mind. This is one of 
 the most useful figures we tragedy writers have, 
 by which a hero or heroine, in consideration of 
 their being often obliged to overlook things that 
 are on the stage, is allowed to hear and see a 
 number of things that are not. 
 
 Sneer. Yes ; a kind of poetical second-sight ! 
 
 Pu^. Yes. — Now then, madam. 
 
 ^^Tilb. I see their decks 320 
 
 Are cleared ! — I see the signal made ! 
 The line is formed ! — a cable's length asunder ! — 
 I see the frigates stationed in the rear ; 
 And now, I hear the thunder of the guns ! 
 I hear the victor's shouts ! — I also hear 
 The vanquished groan ! — and now 'tis smoke — and 
 
 now 
 I see the loose sails shiver in the wind ! 
 
 I see — I see — what soon you '11 see 
 
 e 65
 
 Act II. Sc. ii. •ss The Critic 
 
 Gov. Hold, daughter ! peace ! this love hath turned 
 thy brain : 
 The Spanish fleet thou canst not see — because 33c 
 — It is not yet in sight ! " 
 
 Dang. Egad, though, the governor seems to make 
 no allowance for this poetical figure you talk of. 
 
 Puf. No, a plain matter-of-fact man; — that's his 
 character. 
 
 " Tilb. But will you then refuse his offer ? 
 
 Gov. I must — I will — I can — I ought — I do. 
 
 Tilb. Think what a noble price. 
 
 Gov. No more — you urge in vain. 
 
 Tilb. His liberty is all he asks." 340 
 
 Sneer. All who asks, Mr Puff? Who is 
 
 Puff^. Egad, sir, I can't tell ! Here has been 
 
 such cutting and slashing, I don't know where 
 
 they have got to myself. 
 Tilb. Indeed, sir, you will find it will connect very 
 
 well. 
 
 " — And your reward secure." 
 
 Puff^. Oh, if they hadn't been so devilish free with 
 their cutting here, you would have found that 
 Don Whiskerandos has been tampering for his 350 
 
 66
 
 The Critic ss» Actii. Sc. u. 
 
 liberty, and has persuaded Tilburina to make 
 this proposal to her father. And now, pray 
 observe the conciseness with which the argu- 
 ment is conducted. Egad, the pro and con 
 goes as smart as hits in a fencing-match. It is 
 indeed a sort of small-sword logic, which we 
 have borrowed from the French. 
 
 " Tilb. A retreat in Spain ! 
 
 Gov. Outlawry here ! 
 
 Tilb. Your daughter's prayer? 360 
 
 Gov. Your father's oath. 
 
 Tilb. My lover ! 
 
 Gov. My country ! 
 
 Tilb. Tilburina! 
 
 Gov. England! 
 
 Tilb. A title I 
 
 Gov. Honour ! 
 
 Tilb. A pension ! 
 
 Gov. Conscience 1 
 
 Tilb. A thousand pounds ! 370 
 
 Gov. Ha ! thou hast touched me nearly ! *' 
 
 Puff. There you see — she threw in Tilburina^ 
 Quick, parry quarte with England! — Ha! 
 thrust in tierce a title! — parried by honour. 
 
 «7
 
 Actii.Sc.il. -^The Critic 
 
 Ha! a pension over the arm! — put by by 
 conscience. Then flankonade with a thousand 
 pounds — and a palpable hit, egad ! 
 
 " Tilh. Canst thou — 
 
 Reject the suppliant, and the daughter too ? 
 Gov. No more ; I would not hear thee plead in vain : 
 
 The father softens — but the governor 381 
 
 Is fixed ! l^Extt:' 
 
 Dang. Ay, that antithesis of persons is a most 
 
 established figure. 
 
 "77/^. 'Tis well, — hence then, fond hopes, — fond 
 passion, hence ; 
 
 Duty, behold I am all over thine 
 
 Whisk. \JVithout.'~\ Where is my love — my 
 
 Tilh. Ha! 
 
 Enter Don Ferolo Whisker andos. 
 
 Whisk. My beauteous enemy ! " 
 
 Puff. O dear, ma'am, you must start a great deal 390 
 more than that ! Consider, you had just 
 determined in favour of duty — when, in a 
 moment, the sound of his voice revives your 
 passion — overthrows your resolution — destroys 
 your obedience. If you don't express all that 
 in your start, you do nothing at all.
 
 The Critic Si» Act ii. Sc. ii. 
 
 Ttlb. Well, we '11 try again 1 
 
 Dang, Speaking from within has always a fine 
 
 effect. 
 Sneer. Very. 4O0 
 
 " Whisk. My conquering Tilburina ! How ! is *t thus 
 We meet? why are thy looks averse? what means 
 That falling tear — that frown of boding woe ? 
 Ha ! now indeed I am a prisoner ! 
 Yes, now I feel the galling weight of these 
 Disgraceful chains — which, cruel Tilburina ! 
 Thy doating captive gloried in before. — 
 But thou art false, and Whiskerandos is undone ! 
 Tilb. O no ! how little dost thou know thy Tilburina ; 
 Whisk. Art thou then true? — Begone cares, doubts, 
 and fears, 410 
 
 I make you all a present to the winds ; 
 And if the winds reject you — try the waves." 
 
 Puff". The wind, you know, is the established re- 
 ceiver of all stolen sighs and cast-off griefs 
 and apprehensions. 
 " Tilb. Yet must we part! — stern duty seals our doom : 
 Though here I call yon conscious clouds to witness, 
 Could I pursue the bias of my soul, 
 All friends, all right of parents, I M disclaim, 
 
 «9
 
 Actll. Sc. ii. •ss The Critic 
 
 And thou, my Whiskerandos, shouldst be father 420 
 And mother, brother, cousin, uncle, aunt. 
 And friend to me ! 
 Whisk. O, matchless excellence I and must we part ? 
 Well, if we must — we must — and in that case 
 The less is said the better." 
 
 Puff. Heyday! here's a cut! — What, are all the 
 
 mutual protestations out ? 
 Tilb. Now, pray, sir, don't interrupt us just here ; 
 
 you ruin our feelings. 
 Puff* Your feelings! — but zounds, my feelings, 430 
 
 ma'am ! 
 Sneer. No ; pray don't interrupt them. 
 
 " IVh'uh. One last embrace. 
 
 Tilb, Now, — farewell, for ever. 
 
 l^hisk. For ever ! 
 
 Tilb. Ay, for ever ! [^Going.'* 
 
 Puff". 'Sdeath and fury! — Gad's life ! — sir! madam! 
 if you go out without the parting look, you 
 might as well dance out. Here, here ! 
 Con, But pray, sir, how am I to get off here ? 44c 
 
 Puff, You ! pshaw ! what the devil signifies how 
 you get off I edge away at the top, or where 
 70
 
 The Critic ^s* Act ii. Sc. ii. 
 
 you will — \_Pushes the Confidant off'.'] Now, 
 
 ma'am, you see 
 
 Tilb. We understand you, sir. 
 
 " Ay, for ever. 
 Both* Oh ! [Turning back, and exeunt. — Scene closes.** 
 
 Dang. Oh, charming ! 
 
 Puff. Hey ! — 'tis pretty well, I believe : you see 
 
 1 don't attempt to strike out any thing new 450 
 
 — but I take it I improve on the established 
 
 modes. 
 Sneer. You do, indeed ! But pray is not Queen 
 
 Elizabeth to appear ? 
 Puff. No, not once — but she is to be talked of for 
 
 ever ; so that, egad, you 'II think a hundred 
 
 times that she is on the point of coming in. 
 Sneer. Hang it, I think it's a pity to keep her in 
 
 the green room all the night. 
 Puff^. O no, that always has a fine effect — it keeps 460 
 
 up expectation. 
 Dang. But are we not to have a battle ? 
 Puff. Yes, yes, you will have a battle at last ; but, 
 
 egad, it's not to be by land, but by sea — 
 
 and that is the only quite new thing in the 
 
 piece. 
 
 71
 
 Actii. Sc. 11. *^ The Critic 
 
 Dang. What, Drake at the Armada, hey ? 
 
 Puff". Yes, i' faith — fire-ships and all ; then we shall 
 end with the procession. Hey, that will do, I 
 think? 470 
 
 Sneer. No doubt on 't. 
 
 Puff". Come, we must not lose time ; so now for 
 the under-plot. 
 
 Sneer. What the plague, have you another plot ? 
 
 Puff^. O Lord, yes ; ever while you live have two 
 plots to your tragedy. The grand point in 
 managing them is only to let your undcr-plot 
 have as httle connection with your main-plot as 
 possible. — 1 flatter myself nothing can be more 
 distinct than mine ; for as in my chief plot the 480 
 characters are all great people, I have laid my 
 under-plot in low life ; and as the former is to 
 end in deep distress, I make the other end as 
 happy as a farce. — Now, Mr Hopkins, as soon 
 as you please. 
 
 Enter Under Prompter. 
 
 Und. Promp. Sir, the carpenter says it is impossible 
 
 you can go to the park scene yet. 
 Puff". The park scene ! no ! I mean the description 
 
 scene here, in the wood. 
 7*
 
 The Critic ^^ Act ii. Sc. u. 
 
 l/nd. Promp. Sir, the performers have cut it out. 490 
 
 Puf. Cut it out ! 
 
 f/«^. Promp. Yes, sir. 
 
 Puff. What ! the whole account of Queen Elizabeth ? 
 
 Und. Promp. Yes, sir. 
 
 Puffl And the description of her horse and side- 
 saddle ? 
 
 UnJ. Promp. Yes, sir. 
 
 Puffl So, so; this is very fine indeed! — Mr 
 Hopkins, how the plague could you suffer 
 this ? 500 
 
 Mr Hop. [_Within.'] Sir, indeed the pruning- 
 knife 
 
 Puff". The pruning-knife — zounds ! — the axe ! 
 Why, here has been such lopping and topping, 
 I shan't have the bare trunk of my play left 
 presently ! — Very well, sir — the performers 
 must do as they please ; but, upon my soul, I Ml 
 print it every word. 
 
 Sneer. That I would, indeed. 
 
 Puff". Very well, sir ; then we must go on. — Zounds! 510 
 I would not have parted with the description 
 of the horse! — Well, sir, go on. — Sir, it was 
 one of the finest and most laboured things. — 
 Very well, sir ; let them go on. — There you 
 
 73
 
 Actil.Sc.ii. •iS The Critic 
 
 had him and his accoutrements, from the bit 
 to the crupper. — Very well, sir ; we must go 
 to the park scene. 
 
 Und. Promp. Sir, there is the point : the carpenters 
 say, that unless there is some business put in 
 here before the drop, they shan't have time to 520 
 clear away the fort, or sink Gravescnd and the 
 river. 
 
 Puff. So ! this is a pretty dilemma, truly ! — 
 Gentlemen, you must excuse me — these fellows 
 will never be ready, unless I go and look after 
 them myself. 
 
 Sneer. O dear, sir, these little things will happen. 
 
 Puff". To cut out this scene! — but I'll print it — 
 
 egad, I '11 print it every word ! [^Exeunt. 
 
 i^^^^'^^i^
 
 The Critic ss* Act in. Sc. i. 
 
 Act Third. 
 
 Scene I. 
 
 The Theatre^ before the Curtain, 
 
 Enter Puff", Sneer, and Dangle. 
 
 Puff". Well, we are ready ; now then for the justices. 
 
 \_Curta'm rises. 
 
 ^* Justices y Const able Sy l^c, discovered.** 
 
 Sneer. This, I suppose, is a sort of senate scene. 
 
 Puff. To be sure ; there has not been one yet. 
 
 Dang. It is the under-plot, isn't it ? 
 
 Puff'. Yes. — What, gentlemen, do you mean to go 
 at once to the discovery scene ? 
 
 Just. If you please, sir. 
 
 Puff". Oh, very well ! — Hark'ee, I don't choose to 
 say any thing more ; but, i' faith, they have 
 mangled my play in a most shocking manner. lo 
 
 Dang. It 's a great pity ! 
 
 Puff". Now, then, Mr Justice, if you please. 
 
 " Just. Are all the volunteers without ? 
 
 Const. They are. 
 
 Some ten in fetters, and some twenty drunk. 
 Just. Attends the youth, whose most opprobrious fame
 
 Act III. Sc. i. »^ The Critic 
 
 And clear convicted crimes have stamped him soldier? 
 Const. He waits your pleasure ; eager to repay 
 
 The blest reprieve that sends him to the fields 
 
 Of glory, there to raise his branded hand 
 
 In honour's cause. 
 Just. 'Tis well — 'tis justice arms him ! 20 
 
 Oh ! may he now defend his country's laws 
 
 With half the spirit he has broke them all ! 
 
 If 'tis your worship's pleasure, bid him enter. 
 Const. I fly, the herald of your will. \_Exit.'' 
 
 Puff". Quick, sir. 
 
 Sneer. But, Ml' Puff, I think not only the Justice, 
 
 but the clown seems to talk in as high a style 
 
 as the first hero among them. 
 Puff". Heaven forbid they should not in a free 
 
 country ! — Sir, I am not for making slavish 30 
 
 distinctions, and giving all the fine language to 
 
 the upper sort of people. 
 Dang. That 's very noble in you, indeed. 
 
 " Enter Justice's Lady.^* 
 
 Puff. Now, pray mark this scene. 
 
 " Lady. Forgive this interruption, good my love ; 
 But as I just now passed a prisoner youth.
 
 The Critic SIS' Act ill. Sc. i. 
 
 Whom rude hands hither lead, strange bodings seized 
 My fluttering heart, and to myself I said, 
 An if our Tom had lived, he 'd surely been 
 This stripling's height! 40 
 
 Just. Ha ! sure some powerful sympathy directs 
 Us both 
 
 Re-enter Constable 'with Son, 
 
 What is thy name ? 
 Son. My name is Tom Jenkins — alias have I none — 
 
 Though orphaned, and without a friend ! 
 Just. Thy parents ! 
 
 Son. My father dwelt in Rochester — and was. 
 
 As I have heard — a fishmonger — no more." 
 
 Puff". What, sir, do you leave out the account of 
 
 your birth, parentage and education ? 
 Son. They have settled it so, sir, here. 
 Puf Oh ! oh ! 50 
 
 " Lady. How loudly nature whispers to my heart ! 
 
 Had he no other name ? 
 Son. I 've seen a bill 
 
 Of his signed Tomkins, creditor. 
 Just. This does indeed confirm each circumstance 
 
 The gipsy told! — Prepare !
 
 Actlll. Sc. L •ssThe Critic 
 
 ,1 do. 
 
 Just. No orphan, nor without a friend' art thou — 
 I am thy father ; here 's thy mother ; there 
 Thy uncle — this thy first cousin, and those 
 Are all your near relations ! 
 Lady. O ecstasy of bliss ! 6o 
 
 Son. O most unlooked for happiness ! 
 Just. O wonderful event ! 
 
 [1 hey faint alternately in each other's arms.'^ 
 
 Puff". There, you see relationship, like murder, will 
 out. 
 
 " Just. Now let 's revive — else were this joy too 
 much ! 
 But come — and we '11 unfold the rest within ; 
 And thou, my boy, must needs want rest and food. 
 Hence may each orphan hope, as chance directs. 
 To find a father — where he least expects ! " 
 
 [_Exeunt." 
 Puff". What do you think of that ? 70 
 
 Dang. One of the finest discovery-scenes I ever 
 saw ! — Why, this under-plot would have made 
 a tragedy itself. 
 Sneer. Ay, or a comedy either. 
 Pu^. And keeps quite clear you see of the other. 
 
 7«
 
 The Critic ^* Act ill. Sc. i. 
 
 Enter Scenemen^ taking aiuay the seats, 
 
 iPuff". The scene remains, does it? 
 
 jSceneman, Yes, sir. 
 
 ? Fu^. You are to leave one chair, you know. — But 
 it is always awkward in a tragedy, to have you 
 fellows coming in in your playhouse liveries 80 
 
 Xto remove things. — I wish that could be 
 managed better. — So now for my mysterious 
 yeoman. 
 
 *' Enter Beefeater. 
 
 Beef. Perdition catch my soul, but I do love 
 thee." 
 
 Sneer. Haven't I heard that line before ? 
 
 Puff. No, I fancy not. — Where, pray? 
 
 Dang. Yes, I think there is something like it in 
 « Othello." 
 
 Puff. Gad ! now you put me in mind on 't, I believe 
 
 there is — but that 's of no consequence ; all that 90 
 can be said is, that two people happened to hit 
 on the same thought — and Shakespeare made 
 use of it first, that 's all. 
 
 Sneer. Very true. 
 
 Puff". Now, sir, your soliloquy — but speak more to
 
 Act III. Sc. i. »« The Critic 
 
 the pit, if you please — the soliloquy always to 
 the pit, that 's a rule. 
 
 " Beef. Though hopeless love finds comfort in despair, 
 It never can endure a rival's bliss ! 
 But soft — I am observed. ^£xi/." lOO 
 
 Dang. That 's a very short soliloquy. 
 
 Puff. Yes — but it would have been a great deal 
 longer if he had not been observed. 
 
 Sneer. A most sentimental Beefeater that, Mr 
 Puff! 
 
 Puff. Hark'ee — I would not have you be too sure 
 that he is a Beefeater. 
 
 Sneer. What, a hero in disguise ? 
 
 Puff. No matter — I only give you a hint. But now 
 
 for my principal character. Here he comes — iic 
 Lord Burleigh in person ! Pray, gentlemen, 
 step this way — softly — I only hope the Lord 
 High Treasurer is perfect — if he is but 
 perfect ! 
 
 " Enter Lord Burleighy goes slowly to a chairy and sits.'* 
 
 Sneer. Mr Puff! 
 
 Ptff. Hush ! — Vastly well, sir ! vastly well I a most 
 interesting gravity I
 
 The Critic St* Act iii. Sc. i. 
 
 Dang. What, isn't he to speak at all ? 
 
 Puff". Egad, I thought you M ask me that ! — Yes, it 
 
 is a very likely thing — that a minister in his 120 
 
 situation, with the whole affairs of the nation 
 
 on his head, should have time to talk ! — But 
 
 hush ! or you '11 put him out. 
 Sneer. Put him out ! how the plague can that be, if 
 
 he 's not going to say any thing ! 
 Puff. There 's the reason ! why, his part is to 
 
 think ; and how the plague do you imagine 
 
 he can think if you keep talking ? 
 Dang. That 's very true, upon my word ! 
 
 " Lord Burleigh comes forfward, shakes his head, 
 and exii.^' 
 
 Sneer. He is very perfect indeed! Now, pray what 130 
 did he mean by that i 
 
 Puff, You don't take it? 
 
 Sneer. No, I don't, upon my soul. 
 
 Puff\ Why, by that shake of the head, he gave 
 you to understand that even though they 
 had more justice in their cause, and 
 wisdom in their measures — yet, if there was 
 not a greater spirit shown on the part of 
 the people, the country would at last fall
 
 Actiii. Sc. L cs The Critic 
 
 a sacrifice to the hostile ambition of the 14O 
 
 Spanish monarchy. 
 Sneer. The devil ! did he mean all that by shaking 
 
 his head ? 
 Puff". Every word of it — if he shook, his head as I 
 
 taught him. 
 Dang, Ah ! there certainly is a vast deal to be done 
 
 on the stage by dumb show and expression of 
 
 face ; and a judicious author knows how much 
 
 he may trust to it. 
 Sneer. Oh, here are some of our old acquaintance. 150 
 
 •* Enter Sir Christopher Hatton and Str Walter Raleigh* 
 
 Sir Christ. My niece and your niece too ! 
 
 By Heaven ! there *8 witchcraft in 't. — He could 
 
 not else 
 Have gained their hearts. — But see where they 
 
 approach : 
 Some horrid purpose lowering on their brows ! 
 Sir IValt. Let us withdraw and mark them. 
 
 \They luithdravj.^^ 
 Sneer. What is all this ? 
 
 Puff. Ah! here has been more pruning I — but the 
 fact is, these two young ladies are also in love 
 with Don Whiskerandos. — Now, gentlemen,
 
 The Critic ^^ Act in. Sc i. 
 
 this scene goes entirely for what we call situa- i6o 
 tion and stage effect, by which the greatest 
 applause may be obtained, without the assistance 
 of language, sentiment, or character: pray mark! 
 
 " Enter the two Nieces. 
 
 1st Niece. Ellena here ! 
 
 She is his scorn as much as I — that is 
 Some comfort still ! " 
 
 Puf. O dear, madam, you are not to say that to her 
 face ! — aside, ma'am, aside. — The whole scene 
 is to be aside. 
 
 " 1st Niece. She is his scorn as much as I — that is i 70 
 
 Some comfort still. [^yiside. 
 
 2nd Niece. I know he prizes not Pollina's love ; 
 
 But Tilburina lords it o'er his heart. \_Aside. 
 
 1st Niece. But see the proud destroyer of my peace. 
 
 Revenge is all the good I 've left. \_ Aside. 
 
 2nd Niece. He comes, the false disturber of my quiet. 
 
 Now, vengeance do thy worst. [_Aside. 
 
 Enter Don Ferolo Whiskerandos. 
 
 Whisk. O hateful liberty — if thus in vain 
 
 I seek my Tilburina ! 
 Both Nieces. And ever shalt ! 1 8c 
 
 83
 
 Actlll, Sc. i. »:s The Critic 
 
 Sir Christopher Ha i ton and Sir li^ alter Raleigh come 
 forward. 
 
 Sir Christ, and Sir Walt. Hold ! we will avenge 
 you. 
 
 IVbisk. Hold you — or see your nieces bleed ! 
 
 [^Ihe fwo Nieces draiv their ttuo daggers 
 to strike IVhiskerandos : the ttuo Uncles 
 at the instanty with their two swords 
 drawn, catch their two Nieces* arms, 
 and turn the points of their swords to 
 Whisker andos, who immediately draws two 
 daggers, and holds them to the two Nieces* 
 bosoms.'* 
 
 Puff. There 's situation for you ! there 's an heroic 
 group ! — You see the ladies can't stab Whisker- 
 andos — he durst not strike them, for fear of 
 their uncles — the uncles durst not kill him, be- 
 cause of their nieces — I have them all at a dead 
 lock ! — for every one of them is afraid to let go 
 first. 
 
 Sneer. Why, then they must stand there for 190 
 ever ! 
 
 Puffl So, they would, if I hadn't a very fine con- 
 trivance for *t. — Now mind 
 
 •4
 
 The Critic s^ Act ill. Sc. i. 
 
 " Enter Beefeater, nvith hh halberd. 
 
 Beef. In the queen's name I charge you all to drop 
 Your swords and daggers ! 
 
 [They drop their swords and daggers.^' 
 
 Sneer. That is a contrivance indeed ! 
 Puff". Ay, — in the queen's name. 
 
 " Sir Christ. Come, niece ! 
 Sir Walter. Come, niece ! 
 
 [Exeunt with the two Nieces. 
 Whisk. What's he, who bids us thus renounce our 
 guard ? 200 
 
 Beef. Thou must do more — renounce thy love ! 
 Whisk. ThojiJiest — base Beefeater ! 
 Beef "^ Ha! hell! the lie ! 
 
 By Heaven thou 'st roused the lion in my heart ! 
 Off, yeoman's habit! — base disguise! off! off! 
 [Discovers himself, by throwing off his upper dress, 
 and appearing in a very fine ivaistcoat. 
 Am I a Beefeater now ? 
 Or beamii my &t:eftt.a&..tipmble'c!!< WllUll " 
 l&.^*«6«f -ff Bfay^ F took thy*eapiiiFc^«i«op'? " 
 
 Puff There, egad ! he comes out to be the very 
 captain of the privateer who had taken Whisker-
 
 Actili. Sc. 1. •ss I'he Critic 
 
 andos prisoner — and was himself an old lover 210 
 
 of Tilburina's. 
 Dang. Admirably managed, indeed! 
 Puff", Now, stand out of their way. 
 
 " IVhisk. I thank thee, Fortune, that hast thus bestowed 
 
 A weapon to chastise this insolent. 
 
 [^ Takes up one of the swords. 
 Beef. I take thy challenge, Spaniard, and I thank thee, 
 
 Fortune, too ! [_Takes up the other sivord.*' 
 
 Dang. That's excellently contrived! — It seems as 
 if the two uncles had left their swords on pur- 
 pose for them. 220 
 
 Puff. No, egad, they could not help leaving them. 
 
 ** Whisk. Vengeance and Tilburina ! 
 
 Beef. Exactly so 
 
 {They fight — and after the usual number oj 
 tvounds given, JVhiskerandos falls. 
 IVhisk. O cursed parry ! — that last thrust in tierce 
 Was fatal. — Captain, thou hast fencM well ! 
 And Whiskerandos quits this bustling scene 
 
 For all eter 
 
 Beef. nity — he would have added, but 
 
 stem death 
 Cut short his being, and the noun at once ! "
 
 The Critic sj* Act in. Sc. i. 
 
 Puff. Oh, my dear sir, you are too slow : now mind 
 
 me. — Sir, shall I trouble you to die again ? 229 
 
 " Whish. And Whiskerandos quits this bustling scene 
 
 For all etcr 
 
 Beef, nity — he would have added, " 
 
 Puff. No, sir — that 's not it — once more, if you 
 
 please. 
 Whish. I wish, sir, you would practise this without 
 
 me — I can't stay dying here all night. 
 Pujff. Very well ; we '11 go over it by-and-by. — 
 
 \^Extt Whisker andos.~\ I must humour these 
 
 gentlemen ! 
 
 " Beef. Farewell, brave Spaniard ! and when 
 next " 
 
 Puff. Dear sir, you needn't speak that speech, as 240 
 
 the body has walked off. 
 Beef That 's true, sir — then I Ml join the fleet. 
 Puff. If you please. — \_Exit Beef eater, ~\ Now, 
 
 who comes on ? 
 
 " Enter Governor, with his hair properly disordered. 
 
 Gov- A hemisphere of evil planets reign ! 
 And every planet sheds contagious frenzy ! 
 My Spanish prisoner is slain ! my daughter,
 
 Actlll. Sc. i. eg The Critic 
 
 Meeting the dead corse borne along, has gone 
 Distract ! [y^ loud flourish of trumpets. 
 
 But hark ! I am summoned to the fort : 
 Perhaps the fleets have met! amazing crisis! 250 
 O Tilburina ! from thy aged father's beard 
 Thou'st plucked the few brown hairs which time 
 had left ! lExU:' 
 
 Sneer. Poor gentleman I 
 
 PuJ. Yea — and no one to blame but his daughter ! 
 
 Dang. And the planets 
 
 Pufj'. True. — Now enter Tilburina I 
 
 Sneer. Egad, the business comes on quick 
 
 here. 
 Puff. Yes, sir — now she comes in stark mad in 
 
 white satin. 26c 
 
 Sneer. Why in white satin ? 
 Puff. O Lord, sir — when a heroine goes mad, she 
 
 always goes into white satin. — Don't she, 
 
 Dangle ? 
 Dang. Always — it *s a rule. 
 Pu^. Yes — here it is — \_Looking at the tcok.'] 
 
 " Enter Tilburina stark mad in white satin, 
 
 and her confidant stark mad io white 
 
 linen."
 
 The Critics^ Act iil. Sc. i. 
 
 *' Enter Tilburina and Confidant^ mad, according to custom.^* 
 
 Sneer, But, what the deuce, is the confidant to be 270 
 mad too ? 
 
 Puff. To be sure she is : the confidant is always to 
 do whatever her mistress does ; weep when she 
 weeps, smile when she smiles, go mad when 
 she goes mad. — Now, madam confidant — but 
 keep your madness in the back-ground, if you 
 please. 
 " Tilb, The wind whistles — the moon rises — see, 
 They have killed my squirrel in his cage ! 
 Is this a grasshopper ? — Ha! no; it is my 280 
 
 Whiskerandos — you shall not keep him — 
 I know you have him in your pocket — 
 An oyster may be crossed in love ! — Who says 
 A whale's a bird ? — Ha ! did you call, my love ? — 
 He 's here ! he 's there ! — He 's everywhere ! 
 Ah me 1 he's nowhere ! \^£xit." 
 
 Pujf. There, do you ever desire to see any body 
 madder than that ? 
 
 Sneer. Never, while I live! 
 
 Puff. You observed how she mangled the metre? 290 
 
 Dang. Yes — egad, it was the first thing made me 
 suspect she was out of her senses ! 
 89
 
 Actiil. Sc. i. •JsThe Critic 
 
 Sneer. And pray what becomes of her ? 
 
 Puff. She is gone to throw herself into the sea, 
 to be sure — and that brings us at once to 
 the scene of action, and so to my catastrophe — 
 my sea-fight, I mean. 
 
 Sneer. What, you bring that in at last ? 
 
 Puff. Yes, yes — you know my play is called The 
 
 Spanish Armada ; otherwise, egad, I have no 30c 
 occasion for the battle at all. — Now then for 
 my magnificence! — my battle! — my noise! 
 — and my procession ! — You are all ready ? 
 
 Unci. Promp. \JVithin.'^ Yes, sir. 
 
 Pujf. Is the Thames dressed ? 
 
 " Enter Thames luith tivo Attendants'^ 
 
 Thames. Here I am, sir. 
 
 Puff. Very well, indeed! — see, gentlemen, there's 
 a river for you! — This is blending a little of 
 the masque with my tragedy — a new fancy, 
 you know — and very useful in my case; for as 310 
 there must be a procession, I suppose Thames, 
 and all his tributary rivers, to compliment 
 Britannia with a fete in honour of the victory. 
 
 Sneer. But pray, who are these gentlemen in green 
 with him ? 
 
 90
 
 The Critic ^^ Act ill. Sc. i. 
 
 Puff". Those ? — those are his banks. 
 Sneer. His banks ? 
 
 PuJ^. Yes, one crowned with alders, and the other 
 with a villa ! — you take the allusions ? — But 
 hey ! what the plague ! you have got both your 320 
 banks on one side. — Here, sir, come round. — 
 Ever while you live, Thames, go between your 
 banks. — \^BeI/ rings.^ There, so! now for 't ! 
 — Stand aside my dear friends! — Away, 
 Thames 1 [^Exii Thames bettueen his banks. 
 
 [_Flourish of drums, trumpets^ cannon, ^c. i^c. 
 Scene changes to the sea — the Heets engage — the 
 music plays " Britons strike home.^^ — Spanish 
 fleet destroyed by Jire-ships, ^c. — English Jleet 
 advances — music plays ^^ Rule Britannia.^* — The 
 procession of all the English rivers, and their 
 tributaries, luith their emblems, ^c, begins with 
 HandePs ivater music, ends ivith a chorus, to 
 the march in " Judas Maccabaus.''^ — During 
 this scene. Puff" directs and applauds every thing 
 — then 
 Puff. Well, pretty well — but not quite perfect. — 
 So, ladies and gentlemen, if you please, we '11 
 rehearse this piece again to-morrow. 
 
 [_Curtain drops, 
 9X
 
 Notes. 
 
 To Mrs Greville. Mrs Grtville — Horace Val pole's " pretty F^nn^ 
 Macartney '" — was the daughter of James Macartney, the wife ot 
 Fulke Greville. and the mother of Lady Crewe. She died in i 789. 
 Her writings included an Od£ to Jndi£ircnce, and in the lines to 
 " Mrs Crewe," prefixed to the School for Scandal, Sheridan wrote, 
 
 ** Read in all knowledge that her sex should reach, 
 Though Greville, or the Mnse, should deign to teach." 
 
 Prologue by the HoncurabU Richard FitzpJtrick. Richard Fitzpatrick, 
 second son of John, first Earl of Upper Ossory, and Lady Evelyn 
 Leveson Gower, was born in 1747. He entered the army in 
 1765, but was chiefly known for some years as a leader of fashion 
 and bosom friend of Charles James Fox. Both the friends wrote 
 verse, and took great interest in theatrical matters. In 1774 
 Fitzpatrick entered Parliament, and in 1777 served in the war in 
 America. In 1781 he became chief secretar}' for Ireland; and in 
 the following year Secretary foi War. On Fox's return to power 
 in 1806 Fitzpatrick wa.s made Secretary for War the second time; 
 he had already attained to the rank of lieutenant-general. In 
 replying to one of his speeches in the House of Commons in 1796, 
 Dundas said that Fitzpatrick's two friends (Fox and Sheridan^ 
 had only impaired the impression made by his speech. He died 
 in 1813. 
 
 6. IVhen Villurs criticised. Some account of the Duke of 
 Buckingham's Rehearsal sshW be found in the Preface. 
 
 93
 
 The Critic s^ 
 
 Notes. 
 
 Act I. Scene i. i-6. In 1778-9 there was much public excite- 
 ment at the want of success in the naval warfare with the French. 
 The Admiralty was attacked in the House of Commons, and 
 Lord Sandwich, the First Lord of the Admiralty, escaped a vote of 
 censure only by a narrow majority. Sir Charles Hardy was called 
 upon to succeed Keppel in the command of the Channel Fleet in 
 1779, though he had retired from active service twenty years 
 earlier. There was fear of an invasion by the French and Spanish, 
 but Hardy warded off an engagement, and the enemy withdrew 
 to Brest in September. Hardy died in the following year. A 
 large encampment of militia was formed at Coxheath, near 
 Maidstone, in July 1779, in the expectation of an invasion. 
 
 I. i. 84. The Opera House, Before the beginning of the season 
 of 1778-9 there had been a coalition between the patentees of 
 the two theatres, Drury Lane and Covent Garden, and actors were 
 lent from one house to the other This arrangement was the 
 subject of a satire, Coalition. " a farce founded on facts," 1779. 
 
 1. i. 102-3. See Hamlet^ III. ii. 24: — "Anything so overdone is 
 from the purpose of playing, whose end, both at the firsi and 
 now, was and is, to hold, as 'twere, the mirror up to nature ; to 
 show virtue her own feature, scorn her own image, and the very 
 age and body of the time his form and pressure " ; and II. ii. 548 : 
 " Let them be well used ; for they are the abstract and brief 
 chronicles of the time." 
 
 I. i. 306. Churchill had written (as Mr Low points out), 
 
 " Still pilfers wretched plans, and makes them worse; 
 Like gipsies, lest the stolen brat be known, 
 Defacing first, then claiming for his own." 
 I. i. 471, See the second part of Henrij IF., II. ii. 
 1. ii. 134 Caduceus. The staff or wand of Mercury. 
 93
 
 Notes. •^s The Critic 
 
 I. ii. 234. Mr DoJJ. James William Dodd died 1796) 
 created the parts of Dangle in The Critic, Sir Benjamin Backbite 
 in the School /or S:jnJjl, and Lord Foppington in the Trip tt 
 Scarborough. . Lamb spoke highly of his representation of Sir 
 Andrew Agutrcheek, 
 
 I. ii. 237. Mr Palmer. John Palmer (died 1798; was the 
 original Joseph Surface in the School/or Scandal. In T/u Critic he 
 took the part of Sneer. 
 
 I. ii. 240. Mr King. Thomas King (1730- 1805) was the 
 first Sir Peter Teazle, and the humour of the present passage 
 lies in the fact that he acted the jiart of Putf, and thus had to 
 utter these compliments about his fellow actors in this scene, and 
 especially himself. 
 
 I. ii. 244. Mr De Loutherbourg. Philippe Jacques de Louther- 
 bourg ("1740-181 2) became a Royal Academician in 178 1. He 
 rendered great service to the stage between 1773 and 1785, in 
 designing scenery and superintending costumes, but he quarrelled 
 with Sheridan, who wished to reduce his salary. 
 
 1. ii. 353, Tablature. Lord Shaftesbury writes: — " 'Tis then, 
 that in painting we may give to any particular work the name of 
 tablature, when the work is in reality a single work, com- 
 prehended in one view, and formed according to one single 
 intelligence, meaning, or design." 
 
 I. ii. 393. Paul Jones ( I 747- 1 792), a Scotchman, was a naval 
 adventurer, who served in the American war against England. 
 In the autumn of 1779 he was cruising in the North Sea. 
 threatening Leith and the Tyne. 
 
 1. ii. 394. John Bi^run. vice-admiral (1723-1786), had twc 
 indecisive encounters with the French fleet in the West Indies 
 in July 1779. 
 
 94
 
 The Critic s=* Notes. 
 
 II. ii. 249. Handel's opera of /ir;W/i(r, which contains a famous 
 minuet, was produced in 1733. 
 
 II. ii. 373 seq. Terms used in fencing. In Hamlet^ V. ii. 266, 
 Osric says, '' A hit, a very palpable hit." 
 
 III. i. 88. See Othello, HI. iii. 90. 
 
 III. i. 129. Lord Burleigh shakes his head. In "The Historical 
 Register," Fielding introduced four Patriots, who met and shook 
 hands, but said nothing: — " Sir, what they think now cannot 
 well be spoke, but you may conjecture a great deal from their 
 shaking their heads." 
 
 III. 1. 326. As Mr Fraser Rae points out, the procession at 
 the end of the play would appeal to the patriotic feelings of the 
 audience, as England was at war with France and Spain in 
 1779, and the enemy's fleets were cruising off our coasts. 
 
 t^^^j^^'jr^^ 
 
 Madi At ThB
 
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