THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 BEING 
 
 DESULTORY ESSAYS 
 
 ON 
 
 MISCELLANEOUS SUBJECTS. 
 
 V] 
 
 " Evanescentia dico." 
 
 Printed by T. Webster.
 
 Ex Libris
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. i. 
 
 TUESDAY, OCTOBER 24th. 1797. 
 
 " Nunc indpiam ccnijj'as aperire.'' 
 
 PROPERT. 
 
 T 
 
 A H 
 
 E frivolous and the intercfted, 01 iii 
 other words, the felfifh and the vain, com- 
 pofe the aggregate of that large portion of 
 Mankind, which i^ united in the tics of Ci- 
 vil Society by motives of reciprocal conveni- 
 ence ; retrained from indulging their pafli- 
 ons by reflecting on the confequential evils 
 which may refult from them ; and allured to 
 B pro- 
 
 .1.922098
 
 promote the intentions of others, with a pro- 
 fpett of making them fubfervient to their own 
 purpofed ichemes of felf gratification. 
 
 This may appear to be fpeaking a fevcrc 
 language, and in the flile of the Theatre, 
 opening the curtain on a gloomy fcene : but we 
 do not mean to confine ourfelves iolely to 
 gloomy rctrofpetk, and are Mill lefs difpoied 
 to fhadow the {ketches of futurity, formed by 
 imagination, with a melancholy tint. 
 
 Aiming to divert the fancy, we mean no: 
 to niilead the judgment ; and though in dif- 
 playing our Literary Olio we src :;ot unapprix.- 
 cd tliat fomcof the various articles with which 
 we are obliged to compofe it, may not be fa- 
 vourites with all our guefts, we will howev- 
 er endeavour fo to proportion our ingredients 
 that thofe who may not highly relifh our r:i- 
 
 t^rtainment. may yet venture to talle it (to 
 
 purlue
 
 purfuc the metaphor) without difguft, and 
 relinquifh it without fatiety. 
 
 The diverfity of human inclinations is pro- 
 verbial, and not lefs eafy to be remarked than 
 the particular difcriminations of the refpec- 
 tive features of human beings ; as well might 
 we expeft to ice THESE arranged with the 
 famenefs of undiflinguiPued fimilarity, as 
 THOSK coalefcing in unity of inclination. 
 
 If we could always reconcile duty with 
 pleafure, and combine amufement with in- 
 Ihuclion ; if corporeal fdnity were always 
 compatible with mental improvement : if fen- 
 fual gratification and intellectual refinement 
 were not almoft always invariably difcordant ; 
 we fhould hardly have icafon to complain of 
 the caducity of the primaeval progenitors of 
 Mankind : the natural inconveniences to 
 
 which all perifhable bodies are fubjefted 
 
 would
 
 [4] 
 
 would be Icfs feverely felt, and the appoint- 
 ed Race be performed with patient perfcver- 
 ance : but fpeculative reafoning has always 
 differed widely from aftual performance, and 
 the conducl of theoretical moralifls has been 
 often contradictory to the portions they have 
 laid down as axioms, and fubvcrfive of the 
 dogmas they have publifhed as maxims. 
 
 "People will have different Ideas" is a 
 trite remark. The term IDF: AS has been 
 fometimes confidcred as difficult to be defin- 
 ed : it means, if we attend to its etymological 
 derivation, " Thofc particular conceptions 
 u formed in the mind of an individual which 
 " are peculiar to that mind;" the cogitative 
 faculties of which being diftinft from every 
 other, muft combine its imagery of percepti- 
 ble fubftances and its notions of l^iritual en- 
 tities in a particular manner.
 
 [5 J 
 
 By no means :in adept in verbal difcjuiiiti- 
 on, I nave become unintentionally difiufe in 
 attempting exegetical obfervation ; but I truft 
 I fhall not often digreis in a fimilar manner ; 
 though I mean not to be confined to too ftrait 
 a path without occafionally atfuming the li- 
 berty of diverging from it, and now and then 
 indulging in a literary excurfion amidll the 
 regions of FANCY ; yet fo to regulate thcfc 
 deviations, as not to incur the rifk of being 
 intangled in her thickets, or involved in her 
 labyrinths. 
 
 'Tis a difagreeablc thing for a Writer whofe 
 feelings have not become callous by being 
 hackneyed, to fpcak of himfelf, and like Ovid 
 in his exile, crowd every fentence with pcr- 
 ional pronouns, and ring changes upon if>fe 
 and ego. But in a prefatory addrcfs it is dif- 
 ficult to avoid egotiim without aflurning the 
 
 appear- .
 
 [6] 
 
 Appearance of a ftill more difgufting affetlati ' 
 on. May the ftile of thefe Papers, if they 
 fhould be found to mei it a continuance, be 
 far removed from arrogant and prefumptuous 
 oftcntation, and equally difutnt from the con- 
 temptible meanneis of crouching and fervilc 
 humility. 
 
 I fhall poffibly not be believed (the excufe 
 is fo common with fcnbblers) when i fay, 
 that in fubmitting thefe Ellays to public ani- 
 madverijon, I comply widi the repeated en 
 treaties of an amicable requihtion. What the 
 reL.lt of this compliance may be, is iinpoift- 
 blc for me to predict; but lay the Cafuifts, 
 * ; Ubi intentio eft bona aclio non mala." 
 
 'ihcrc is a difficulty of fele6tion in the ar- 
 rangement of thofe procmial oblervatioas 
 with wnich cudom has made it ncceifary for 
 
 a work of literary amufement to be preceded, 
 
 the
 
 the full cogency of which can only be known 
 to taofe who have, experienced it. They 
 ought neither to be apologetical, nor expla- 
 natory ; thefirft would be confeffing a volun- 
 tary perfevcrance in error, and the latter 
 would be reprefllng the eagernefs of curio- 
 Iky. 
 
 We do not readily beftow our attention on 
 that which is allowed to be impertinent and 
 nugatory, and we are riot eager to have re- 
 peated to us what we have been previoufly 
 informed of. In happily and unaffcftedly 
 avoiding the embarraffment incidental to thefe 
 extremes, confifts the nicety of preliminary 
 addrefs ; various, nay multifarious fpecimens 
 of which have been exhibited, none of them 
 perhaps wholly unexceptionable ; fo that fuch 
 a purity of example as might be confidered 
 like a perfect criterion, muft ftill be placed 
 amongfl the defideiata of literature. I
 
 [8] 
 
 I am not without apprehenfion of being al- 
 ready confidercd as endeavouring to lengthen 
 pages of inanity by periods of unmeaning 
 and futile verbofity, pracVifing with a dif- 
 gufting circumlocution, the art of expref- 
 fing nothing in an accumulation of words, 
 and trying to conceal in the fplcndor of 
 phrafe the poverty of invention and the im- 
 potent efforts of a limited and imbecile un 
 derflanding. 
 
 I fta: 11 net now endeavour by a pompous 
 clcnchus to excite expectations which I may 
 find impofliblc to gratify ; and I hope the 
 critic will not apply to this introduction the 
 adage of ' ex fade Herculcm."
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 2. 
 
 TUESDAY, OCTOBER 31(1. 1797. 
 
 Chacun print avec art dans cc nouveau miroir, 
 S'y voit avec plaifir ou croit ne s'y point voir. 
 L'Avare des premiers rit du tableau fidelle 
 D'un Avare fouvent trace fur fon modelles ; 
 Et mille fois un Fat fint-ment exprime 
 Meconnut le portrait for lui-meme forme. 
 
 BOILEAU, Art Poetique, Chant. 3, 
 
 In this new mirror with a happy flcill 
 Every one pourtrays whatfoe'er he will ; 
 With fatisfaflion there himfelf perceives, 
 Or that the likenefs is not his, believes : 
 Among the firft the grinning mifer fmiles 
 A; the true picture of a miler's toils : 
 A thoufand times a blockhead well defin'd, 
 Miltakes the portrait foi himfelf defign'd. 
 
 OOME 
 
 writers have obferved, that there is 
 an inherent malignity prevalent in all man- 
 C kind,
 
 kind, from whence ariies that gratification 
 which impertinent curiofity receives from fa- 
 tirical obiervation, and that eiigernefsof com- 
 munication with which defamatory intelli- 
 gence is ufually promulgated : But kys a 
 *French philofopher, whom I always find a 
 pleaiure in referring to. " II eft certain qut Its 
 " kommes out de la malignite. Tout k monde en 
 '' convienl. Mais pcut on conclurre qut retle nia- 
 *' lignite regie tous kurs ju^emens? Point du 
 " tout. Si ks homines ont de la malignite, its out 
 <: aujji du ban fens. S'ils nent du portrait, d un 
 li fot, d'un avare, d'un lache^ d'un impertinent, 
 ' ce n'fft pas toujours a caufe qu'ils aunent aje 
 t; divertir aux depens d'autrui, mais parteq'on 
 " leur reprefente I idee de ces different caracleres 
 " avtc des couleurs vives et naturettts, ce qui ne 
 l manque jamais de plaire." It is ( erhapt, al- 
 
 moO: unneceffary for me, in this sera of Gal- 
 
 lic 
 * LA BRI YERF.
 
 lie erudition, to give the following tranflatir 
 on. -; It is certain that mankind is malidous; 
 " all the world is agreed upon it. But may 
 " one from theuce infer that this malignity 
 ;; influences all their deciuons? By no means, 
 t: If inen have malice, they have alfo good 
 " fenie : If they laugh at the delcription of a 
 ; a blockhead, of a mifer, cf a coward, of a 
 c; buly body. it is not always becauie they 
 " love to divert themselves at another's ex- 
 " pence ; but becaufe the idea of thefe di-ffer- 
 " ent charatlero is given them in natural and 
 <: ftriking colours, which never fails to en- 
 li tertain." And this is right ; for if mali- 
 cious rancour were the cnly principle, the 
 fole fource of the pleafure and amufement de- 
 rived from the perufal of chofe writings which 
 place in ftriking points of view the vicious, 
 the ridiculous, and the inconfiderate, the moft 
 
 ftupid
 
 OOOOOOOCC0030000000O 
 
 ilupid libels, of which almoft every generati- 
 on in modern hiftory has produced an exu- 
 berant abundance, would have been prefer v- 
 ed, and the moft illuftrious perfonages who 
 have appeared upon the theatre of public em- 
 ployment, reprefented in caricatura: But hap- 
 pily this is not the cafe ; for though preju- 
 dice, which alike a&uates thofe who are fway- 
 ed by favour or urged by malice, is undoubt- 
 edly exceedingly prevalent in dictating or fug- 
 gefting the refpeftive narrations of various 
 writers ; yet by being fo often contradictory 
 to each other, like the oppofue influence of 
 two equally attracting magnetical powers (ac- 
 cording to a well known fable), they keep 
 the objecl on which their energy is dircclcd 
 fufpended in the midway between them, and 
 in this medium is probably the truth. 
 
 There is fcarcely any perfon pafles through 
 
 life,
 
 life, whether moving in an enlarged or con- 
 tracted fphere of aftlon, who is not upon be- 
 ing removed from (and indeed whilil coati- . 
 nuing in it) reprcfented in different and of- 
 ten contradictory terms. 
 
 This might be cafily illufirated by examples 
 adduced from almofl every ftation in civiliz- 
 ed fociety ; from the Senate-houfe to t'.e 
 Club-room, from the Ladies of the Court to 
 the Ladies of the Fifh maikct; for they too 
 are now-a-days Ladies by prefcription, and 
 pra&ife their modes of ceremony. Thus eve- 
 ry member of a community in which there is 
 a free intercom fe of obfervation and unre- 
 ftrained opportunity of mutual remark, may 
 be laid to have two imputed characters ; the 
 one bedewed by the partiality of friendfhip, 
 and the other attributed by the rancour of 
 
 enmity. 
 
 In
 
 [ 
 
 t In this age of fuperficialobfcrvation. when 
 exterior ornament is principally considered, 
 and mental embellifhrnent defpiled or neg- 
 icclo.: ; when the cjpiJity of accumulating 
 riches is equalled only by the eagerncls ot of- 
 tentation in displaying them when acquired ; 
 when the vortex of diffipation, enlarging its 
 circumference and increafing its rapidity, 
 threatensto involve in the abyts of a deleteri- 
 ous corruption, all ranks of focial life; lit- 
 tle attention will be paid to a writer, unvcri- 
 ed in the fafhionable topics of converfation, 
 who details not particular flander nordifl.Jes 
 political abufe. 
 
 There is a difficulty in the feleftionof thofe 
 fortuitous materials with which the occaiion- 
 al effayift conftrufts his temporary compofi- 
 tions, and a confequcnt perplexity hardly to 
 be unravelled by fubfequcnt and explanatory 
 arrangement. In
 
 In pieces profefledly defultory, there is a 
 previous apology for frequent deviation ; and 
 as the connexion of ideas is not necefiarily 
 combined with a regular concatenation of fen- 
 tcntious periods, a little levity may be allow- 
 able, without departing from the general de- 
 fign, and lofing fight of thofe objects which 
 may be confidered as the moft important. 
 
 The reveries of abftnicted meditation, if 
 long indulged in, will be found prejudicial 
 to the intclle&ual faculties ; and repeated at- 
 tempts at the brilliancy of witty jocularity, 
 infallibly difcover the marks of circumfcrib- 
 ed invention in him who thus aims at ap- 
 plaufe, and endeavours to procure celebrity. 
 He who has once been confidered as majlcr. 
 of the joke at a convivial meeting, obtains the 
 degrading diftinclion of being invited to 
 
 ethers of fimilar entertainment, purpcfely to 
 
 qxhibii
 
 OOOCOOOOOOOOOOMMM 
 
 exhibit his abilities by way of diverting the 
 company ; and like Sampfon in his blindnefs 
 is brought to the banquet, *' to make fport on 
 a holiday for the lords of the Philiflines." 
 
 SONNET. 
 
 V. OULD'ST thou Farce's proudeft pinnacle attain- 
 Did refcutd Nations owe their peace to thee ; 
 
 Did countlek Mjriads fwell thy martial train, 
 And tributary Pimces bend the knee ; 
 
 Though from thy roofs with gold and ivory join'd, 
 The blaze of gems enian'd a brighter day, 
 
 Though from thy brows with laurel wreaths entwin'd 
 The plumy Helmet fhed it's glancing tay ; 
 
 Though N'ature flionld her richeft fweets diffufe, 
 
 Though every bicez.c fliook fragrance from it's wing; 
 
 Though deck'd with flowers of variegated hues 
 Bloom'd immarccfcible perennial Spring : 
 
 Not all thefe high advantages combin'd, 
 "iVealth, pleafure, honour, power, can long encharm 
 th" mind.
 
 L'7.1 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 3. 
 
 TUESDAY, NOVEMBER ;th. 1797. 
 
 uerum effe. CICERO. 
 
 JV1 E N are but Children of a larger 
 growth," fays Dryden in one of his Trage- 
 dies, fpeaking in the character of Mark An- 
 rhony. In the Sacred Scripture, the necef- 
 fity of becoming as little Children is repeat- 
 edly enforced, as a fpecified requifite prepa- 
 ratory to the participation of what is there 
 emphatically called " the Kingdom of Hea- 
 ven." The Great Apojlk of the Gentiles how- 
 D ever,
 
 [ ,8] 
 
 ever, not with {landing this preliminary, de- 
 fcribes himfelf as having "put away childifh 
 things" as foon as he became a man. 
 
 That great and diftinguifhed Orator, that 
 Patriot Philofopher, from whom I have quo- 
 ted the motto to this paper, has told us, "That 
 to be ignorant of what has happened before 
 we were born." that is, to be unacquainted 
 with the leffons of Kiftory, " is to be always 
 a Child." If this proportion be true, what 
 a number of Children do we daily converfe 
 with ? But the afiertions of one who is him- 
 iclf engaged in the confpicuous circuit of 
 public aftion, and whofe political condutl in- 
 fluences the fate of nations, are not to be re- 
 ceived without limitations by the humbler 
 agents of private and domeftic life. It is pof- 
 iible for the unlettered inhabitant of a rural 
 cottage, by the nature of his occupations pre- 
 cluded
 
 J 
 
 eluded from the opportunities of obtaining 
 fc'entihc information, fo to regulate his con- 
 duct, that every ibge of his tranfitory durati- 
 on, whether in youth or age, may acquire 
 that chara&eriftic propriety which difcrimi- 
 na'cive reflection may confider as a rule of 
 re&itude ; and the plough-boy cheering his 
 oxen and diverting himfelf with a whiftle. is 
 as ufcfully employed, and as neceflary an 
 agent in the fcene where he is placed, as the 
 great Orator whom we have mentioned, ele- 
 vated in the roftrum and fulminating againft 
 the Triumvir the energetic exclamations of 
 
 V 
 
 exafperated rcfcntment, defcribing the inju- 
 ries of an infulted people. 
 
 Duped by the pageantry of an ambitious 
 Royalty, or deceived by the clamours of a 
 turbulent and interefted Democracy, we grow 
 
 weary of fchemes, are difgufted with fyflems, 
 
 and
 
 [20] 
 
 and become ready to exclaim from deliberate 
 refleftion what the Pfalmift is kid to have 
 uttered in hafty indignation, " all men art 
 liars." 
 
 " The fports of Children fatisfy the Child/' 
 fays Goldfmith, in dcfcribing t!:e levities of a 
 diftinguifhed people. I know not whether 
 the propofition can be received as an univer- 
 fal one, but I think that with regard to 
 "grown Children," to whom only we refer, 
 it may truly be faid, that the infantine diver 
 fions they purfue, or are overtaken by, can- 
 not be productive in their moments of ;:b- 
 ftraftcd reflection, of that fclf-approbation 
 which, to make our pleafures fatisftftorv, 
 (hould always accompany or cnfuc from them. 
 To prevent Children from continuing fo 
 (that is in underftanding) throughout life, 
 they ought, according to an obfervation of 
 
 Seneca^
 
 [21 ] 
 
 to be cnrly inflructed in the princi- 
 ples of the liberal fciences ; not that the 
 knowledge of polite literature can bellow 
 mental defert ;. but becaufe by this previous 
 illumination of intellect, their minds are ca- 
 pacitated and enabled to imbibe the leffons of 
 wifdom, and receive and retain the imprefli- 
 ons of virtue. But the advantages of polite 
 learning are not always to be acquired, nor is 
 the poffefiion of them always compatible with 
 our fituation in the common-wealth : the 
 1'j.lcndid accomplifhmentsof the elegant Aits, 
 the manners of the Court, or the erudition 
 of the College, muft neceilas'ily be appropri- 
 ated to, and can only be difplayed by. a very 
 {mail number of the community, promoted 
 through merit or exalted by favour. 
 
 The pre-eminence of ftation in iifcli" con 
 fers no re<'l dignity ; and the poffcflron, ot 
 
 opulence
 
 [ 
 
 opulence gives no intrinfic worth. Virtues 
 and vices are indeed confidered too much at 
 prefent like the flage dredes of a Theatrical 
 Representation, to be affumed and difplayed 
 in a manner fuiuble to the changing fcenery 
 incidental to the continued drama of human 
 life, and men are more ftudious and careful 
 of maintaining an official and oftenfible pro- 
 priety in thofe parts of their conduft which 
 are to be exhibited to public infpe&iea and 
 iubfequent review, than they are emulous of 
 excelling in reality. Shadows are purged 
 and fubfbnces are neglected ; that peace uf 
 mind which the world cannot give is exj ecl- 
 ed from mundane appearances, whofe deceit- 
 fulnefs and infufficiency have been already 
 experienced; tl e eagernefs of hope is not re- 
 preffed, nor the ardour of defire extinguifh- 
 ed. 
 
 The
 
 [ 
 
 Tl:e phantoms of credulity, the chimeras 
 of the imagination, change indeed their ap- 
 pearances as we advance in life ; the different 
 ftages of its progreffion are diftinguifr.ed by 
 varying delufions ; but under feme fhape or 
 other they are always accompanying us, and, 
 in the language of the mythological traditions 
 of antiquity, alluring us like Syrens, or har- 
 raffing us like Harpies. 
 
 The confcioufnefs of continued reclitude 
 of conduct, in whatever circumftance we 
 nu'v he placed, is in reality the only furreme 
 Good, the " Summum Bonum " of fcholaftic 
 logicians ; fince he who is poflefled of it can 
 by no accidental change of circumflance be 
 deprived of it, whilft he preferves his recol- 
 leftion, except with his own concurrence. 
 and he may indeed congratulate himfelf upon 
 having emerged eflentially from Childhood : 
 
 He
 
 [*] 
 
 He proceeds in a dircft and continued line ; 
 and in his track leaves behind him not a fm- 
 gle veftige of cafual aberration. 
 
 BUT 
 
 SONNET on FANCY. 
 o~ 
 
 ' to the fweet inchantment all refign'd, 
 Attend \vhcn FANCY fhall her charms impart : 
 So may romantic vifions fill thy mind, 
 So may poetic rapture warm thine heart. 
 
 Lifi-'s common paths her fairy feet difdaiii, 
 To novel fcenes the varying Goddefs flics j 
 
 O'er clouds extends her vifionary reign, 
 
 And builds her ''bafelcfs fabricks" in the ikies 
 
 The mingling colours of the fhowei y bow, 
 The pearls that in the caves of ocean lie, 
 
 The gems that in Golconda's mountains glow, 
 The ftarry fires thick fcatter'd thro' the iky : 
 
 All tho r c Imagination can poflc-fs, 
 
 And form ideal Ichemes of boundlefs happineft.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 4. 
 
 TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 14th. 1797. 
 
 Out fais je ? 
 
 XJL Celebrated Speculatifl of the.prefent 
 century (the famous Monfieur BayltJ, after a 
 long feries of abftrufe meditation, afks him- 
 fclf, in the words of the interrogatory motto 
 prefixed to this, " What do I know ? " and 
 immediately after fubjoins this reponfive ex- 
 clamation, M Run /" nothing. 
 
 Chagrined and difgufted with the unfatif- 
 
 fdclory refult which a long feries of profound 
 
 F invef.
 
 [26 j 
 
 investigation -afforded a mind ardent in pur- 
 fu : t of wifdom, he experienced the fplenetic 
 dejeftion incidental to difhppointed expeftati- 
 on : On every tide he indagated truth. in 
 each of his refcarches he recognized error. 
 He fuppofed that t: he knew nothing : " But 
 this is not the fault of the exifting race of 
 mankind; on the contrary, We know every 
 thing: ConnoirTeurs in every art, adepts in 
 every fcience, we boafl that to the prcfcnt 
 generation all myfteries are unravelled, all fe- 
 crets are known. We excel not only in 
 phyfical experiment, kill cats and pigeons 
 with air pumps, and turn the cylinder of 
 electricity ; but we alfo foar in the regions of 
 rnetaphvfical difquifition, and in our own fan- 
 cies new model the inftitutions of fociety, 
 explode the ancient doctrines of theology, 
 and form, as it were, imaginary altars to felf- 
 
 love
 
 L 27 ] 
 
 love and vanity within the precincts of our 
 own boioms. It is this "being wife in our 
 own conceits" that renders the lapfe into er- 
 ror at once fo frequent and fo dangerous : 
 Exalted in idea upon a pinnacle of perfection, 
 every man looks down from that eminence of 
 fuperiority on which his pride has placed his 
 fpirit, on others whom he confiders as his in- 
 feriors; and where he finds them poflcffed of 
 greater riches or inve (led with more extcn- 
 live authority, he imputes it to tiie blind and 
 indiicriminating capricioafnefs of fortune, 
 whofe gifts are but fcldcxn bellowed where 
 they ought to be, and he fearchcs for remu- 
 neration in the contemplation of thofe excel- 
 lencies which he is confident he has a juft ti- 
 tle to. O Vanity ! never-failing fource of 
 confutation to mortals, through thee the nau- 
 tical and military adventurer endure with 
 
 felf-
 
 I 28 J 
 
 iplf -complacency a feries of hardfhips and a 
 fucceffion of perils, indulging the Etnuhng 
 expectation, that at ibme more aufpicious pe- 
 riod when faccefs fhall have ci owned their 
 exertions, the difficulties they have furmount- 
 ed will embellifh thole narrations with which 
 they purpofe to iurprife and entertain their 
 Acquaintance in fome future Ration of retire- 
 ment, leifure, and lecurity. 
 
 It is not thofe perfons who know nothing, 
 that complain of the deficiency of their un<- 
 derftanding; it requires no inferior degree of 
 mental illumination, no common portion of 
 difcernment, to difcovcr the mind's defcfts, 
 the ignorant, to ufe nearly the expreff-on of 
 a highly applauded Hibtrnian Orator, are al- 
 ways blind to their own ignorance ; and there 
 muft be a delicacy of feeling, a power of per- 
 ception, and a faculty of diftinguifhiiig in- 
 compatible
 
 the draknds of mental ft[>- 
 piuuy, to uiicovcr and -aftenvards correft 
 them. 
 
 To be fenHble of our own defe&s, is the 
 firft graaaticn of wiiaorn, as the ingenuous 
 acknowledgment of fin, is Lid to be the firft 
 ftep to repentance ; ;md humility and meck- 
 nefb are the precurfors ot knowledge, as well 
 as the harbingers of virtue. The defire of 
 obtaining intellectual information enf..cs of- 
 ten from the convl&ion of its being wanting, 
 and not unfrequently the remark of the Poet, 
 " voluijjefat eft, " "to have been willing is 
 fufficient," will b'c found to poffcfb a confi- 
 dciable portion of veracity, efpeciallv, as he 
 obfcrvcs. in weighty matters which concern 
 ourfelves : And one principal concern with 
 us ought to be the regulating our ucquire- 
 ments, thnt as we improve in knowledge >vt
 
 [30] 
 
 rr^ay advance in virtue, unconnected with 
 which fcholaftic erudition becomes ufclefs 
 and unprofitable, and polite accomplifhments 
 dangerous and dclulivc ; though good man- 
 nejs give a luftre to integrity, and benevo- 
 lence is mod engaging when accompanied by 
 and under the direction of wifdom. Far from 
 hereby wifhing to depreciate the ftudy of the 
 liberal iciences, I earneftly wifh that it were 
 within the compafs of my ability to excite in 
 the minds of ingenuous adolefccnce, that 
 laudable emulation of endeavouring -to attain 
 to excellence by a diftinguifhcd proficiency .. 
 in ufcftil (ludies and honourable purfuits. 
 But this can never be accomplifhed through 
 the medium of a fingle writer, undiftinguifh- 
 ed by fuperior powers of pei fuafion, and not 
 remarkable by that celebrity which is neccf- 
 fary to give energy to precept, and add luf- 
 trr to example. It
 
 ] 
 
 It is a revolution lea it of all revolutions to' 
 be expe&ed, to- fee the eagemcfs for trifling 
 purfuits banifhed from the inclinations of fo- 
 cieties nurtured in an attention to trifles, dif- 
 ferent indeed in the diftintlions by which 
 they are known amongft themfelves, but 
 which may all, without any impropriety of 
 diftion, be arranged in the fame clafs, and at- 
 tributed to the fame origin, that is, to that 
 lifUefs and infatiate paflion for amufement 
 which equally affefts the higher ranks and 
 the inferior ftations. alike folicitous to fly 
 from their own affcftions by engaging in 
 what are ufually, though falfely, confidered 
 as parties of pleafure, contrived to fubdue re- 
 colleftion and delude the imagination.
 
 [3*1 
 
 SONNET. 
 
 T 
 
 JL HINK'ST thou Minerva's olives always bloom ? 
 
 That ever vivid fhines their verdant hue ? 
 O'er them chill envy fheds her winrery gloom, 
 And drops deftruftive her unhallow'd dew. 
 
 Ah ! ill it fares with him, whofe foften'd mind 
 Has us'd in Fancy's fairy realms to rove, 
 
 With gentle fympathy's foft votaries join'd, 
 Or fcatter'd inctnfc at the mrinc of love. 
 
 Urg'd by misfortune's inaufpicious tide, 
 He droops of dull defpondency the prey; 
 
 N T o friendly ray his devious courfe to guide, 
 Whilft rudely torn from all his hopes away 
 
 Dark mifts involve him, gloomy clouds furround. 
 He finks in death': oblivious gulph profound.
 
 t33 J 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 5. 
 
 TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2ift. 1797. 
 
 Dulciafunto. Ho RAT. 
 
 JL Have ventured to offer the fubfequent 
 epiflolary efiay as the fubjeft of this day's 
 paper, without any introductory comment, 
 though it be not perfe&ly coincident with 
 my propofed plan : it has however the ad- 
 vantage of not having before trefpafled on 
 the public attention, this being the firft time 
 of prefenting it for perufal. 
 
 F You
 
 [34] 
 
 JL OU afk me Myra, if the (kill be mine, 
 The grateful art of pleafing to define : 
 To this indeed I make no proud pretence, 
 My aim is bounded, to avoid offence. 
 Unus'd in fafhion's fhining fphere to live, 
 Unapt the rules of polifh'd life to give : 
 Fairefl perfection of unrivall'd grace, 
 That mien imperial, that celcftial free, 
 That form endow'd with every charm to move 
 The palpitations of excited love, 
 Need no afliftance from extraneous art, 
 No borrow'd aids to captivate the heart ; 
 That regulated cultivated mind 
 Where truth and wifdom happily are join'd, 
 Whofe nice difccrnment is by fcience grac'd 
 With livelieft fancy and with trucft tafte, 
 Our admiration and cfteem to raife, 
 Difdains the common noies of vulgar praife ;
 
 I 35 ] 
 
 Rejects the drains that adulation frames, 
 
 Seeks for no compliment, no flattery claims, 
 
 Your merit a tuperior meed can boaft 
 
 Than the beau's nonfenlc or the toper's toaft, 
 
 Tis true that beauty's all attractive charms 
 
 Can agitate the hcibm with alarms ; 
 
 But mix'd with no efteem the tranfient flame 
 
 To "the cool judgment is not free from blame; 
 
 So when the bird of jfu.no we furvcy, 
 
 His train expanding in the folur ray, 
 
 When the bright fpangles and the hundred 
 
 eyes 
 
 With brilliant hues in gay fuccefiion rife, 
 \Ve praife his plumage and forbear to ftate 
 His fcream difcordant and his aukward gait : 
 But far more plcas'd when Philomela fmgs, 
 With plaintive mufic whilit the thicket rings, 
 When all the emulating warblers ceafe, 
 And all is hufh'd in calm attention's peace; 
 
 Pleas'd
 
 136] 
 
 Pleas'd when the lark re r c.-.ts his matin ftrain 
 And notes exhilarating chear the plain, 
 When the grey linnets ply their liule bills, 
 And all melodious carol from the hills, 
 \Vhen the charm'd fancy lull'd by loothiny- 
 
 airs 
 
 Finds a fhort interval from rut' Icfs c?.re- 
 Then if imagination fhould purfue 
 'In an engaging trance a maid like you, 
 See your bright image in idea rife. 
 Fair as th' angelic daughters of the fkies. 
 Soft as the drains of love-nek Hammond flow, 
 Sweet as the gales o'er blooming Eden t-'U>v/, 
 Mild as the meek-ey'd morn of melting M;:y, 
 Like Summer fmiling. and like Autumn gay ; 
 No Tufcan artift ever yet could paint 
 Superior beauties in his patron (dint, 
 No Britifh Poet in his raptur'd {train, 
 Could fuch a pattern of perfection f. 
 
 But
 
 But fuch pcifcctio-.i may not long alict 
 With ujuibating hafte the miiiui.cs glu-c. 
 With lilent fpced the fcafons poll twsy, 
 And fate's dark verge draws nearer every day, 
 Refplendent mirror of unfullied truth, 
 In prime of beauty ?nd in bloom of youth, 
 Say, whither has thine erring frncy firay'd, 
 What dreams beguile thee, vifionary maicl! 
 Has truth convmc'd tr.ee, or does art delude, 
 Does reafon guide thee, or has love i'ubdu'd, 
 Does gay prelumption inexperience cheat. 
 Is candour circumvented by deceit ? 
 No, of thine uncontaminated mind 
 I undifputed teftimonial find, 
 That unelated with the vo'ce of praife. 
 Can from externals its attention raife, 
 To higher ends direft its nobler aim, 
 And l^ite of fafhion feek a virtuous n"me : 
 
 Though
 
 Though fcandal's bufy fifterhood fhbuld rail, 
 And every gofnp fpread a diiicrcnt tale, 
 From you fhall fcandal's blunted darts re- 
 bound, 
 
 Through truth's bright buckler they can ne- 
 ver wound. 
 
 But what avail thefe unconnected lays, 
 Fond ebullitions of unequal praife, 
 For me henceforth dill deftin'd to deplore, 
 Hopes long extinguifh'd to revive no more, 
 Surely fome planet with malignant ray, 
 With fatal influence rul'd my natal day, 
 Gave the dark prcfage of predicted pain. 
 Of fi uitlcfs toils and efforts made in vain : 
 But why digreffwe rolls the devious verfe 
 Which boafted admonition to rehearfc ; 
 Loft in a crowd of thoughts my numbers ftray, 
 Nor rc-ach the goal of their intended way : 
 
 O yes,
 
 C39 j 
 
 Q yes, they reach it and fulfil their aim, 
 If they fair Myra's approbation claim ; 
 If fhe with favour fhould thcfe lays perafe, 
 I have not all in vain invok'd the mufc ; 
 If her applaufe thefe humble numbers blefs. 
 They have attain'd the acme of fuccefs, 
 Such approbation well might compenfote 
 For the long frowns of unpropitious fate, 
 From her a fmgle euge to obtain, 
 Were better than the poet's wreath to gain ; 
 Her fmile fuperior to a laurel crown, 
 Surpaflcs honour and excels renown ; 
 If fuch a hallow'd Guerdon fhould be mine, 
 All other expectation I refign : 
 How poor indeed the tribute which I give. 
 When fuch remuneration 1 receive. 
 _ 
 
 SONNET
 
 SONNET. 
 o 
 
 JL N climes impregnate by the fultry ray 
 The foil tranfinuted glows with golden ore; 
 
 GOLCONDA'S hills unrivaird wealth difplay, 
 And flowers embroider BARCA'S faithlefs fliore 
 
 Though flowers embroider Barca's faithlefs coaft, 
 Yet there deceitful rocks and quickfands lie : 
 
 Though richeft gems Golconda's mountains boaft. 
 There blafting peflilence pen-ades the iky.. 
 
 'Tis thus docs Heaven it's varied gifts impart, 
 Mingling alternate, ills and bleflings flow ; 
 
 And fometirnes rapture fills the lighten'd heart. 
 Which foon defpondency abforbs in woe : 
 
 Then why fhouH Man diflatisfy'd complain. 
 Or things incongruous wifh at once to gain
 
 L 4' J 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 00*000000 o a coo e c oo 
 
 No. 6. 
 
 TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 2 8th. 1797. 
 Quod petis hie eft. 
 
 HORAT. 
 
 P. 
 O E T S and Moralifts, Theologers and 
 
 Philofophers. of whatever name or nation, in 
 whatever age we read of, or may be acquaint- 
 ed with, feem to concur in the opinion, that 
 Tranquility of Mind does not refult from the 
 po'Tcflionof external things; that it is not to 
 be found amidfl an accumulation of wealth ; 
 not to be overtaken by the purfuit of plea- 
 G Cure.
 
 [4*1 
 
 fure, or encountered in the projects of ambi- 
 tion : Indeed the greateft part of mankind, in 
 their progrefTion through life, fcem rather to 
 proceed like thofe figures which the mecha- 
 nifts call Automata : Though previoufly or- 
 ganized and furnifhed with internal machine- 
 ry neceffary to produce and continue tempo- 
 rary and limited motion, the fprings muft be 
 regulated by artificial (kill, and prompted by 
 outward impuliion, before the conftituent 
 parts are capacitated to produce thofe effcfts 
 which are confequer.t to their methodical dif- 
 pofition and connected arrangement. As thoie 
 ieemingly felf-moving figures cannot exhibit 
 their evolutions in all places to equal advan- 
 tage, but invariably require the convenience 
 of a fituation proper for difplaying them; fo 
 on the great Theatre of Life, the exertion of 
 parts and the efforts of genius, can only be 
 
 fhown
 
 [43 j 
 
 Ihown and applauded in thofe fcenes of emi- 
 nence, which bring them into opportunities 
 of observation, and introduce them to the 
 chance of patronage and the notice of the 
 public ; without which they become as " Can- 
 dles hid under Bufliels," and u Talents bu- 
 ried in Napkins." 
 
 But man, who whilft on Earth muft not 
 expect felicity unmixed with allay, nor yet 
 contentment undifturbed by difquiet, has in 
 every ftation of fcciety, the relative duties of 
 that fituation to perform ; and although that 
 refllefs and ever-gnawing hunger of imagina- 
 tion, the offspring of pride and petulance, 
 forbids him to experience in its full degree, 
 that quietnefs which tranquillizes the mind, 
 and which is equally energetic at all times, in 
 every place and through each circum fiance ; 
 yet the habit of reflection, if he ever indulge 
 
 himfelf
 
 [44] 
 
 h'mfelf in that abftrafted meditation which, 
 relinquifhing complex combinations of ideas, 
 reduces its fpeculations to the confederation 
 of thofe fimple categories, that, difentang- 
 led from the folds of myfterious circumvolu- 
 tion, prefent themfelves undifguifed to minds 
 unperverted by the fubtleties of fophiftry, 
 and unwarped by the bias of prejudice ; that 
 habit of reflection will in itfc^f become a pri- 
 mary fourceof pleafure, a never-failing fpring 
 of uncontroulable fatiifaftion, when in this 
 manner derived from innate principles of un- 
 deviating reftitudc, operating equally in eve- 
 ry poflible predicament, whofc efficacy is not 
 impaired by time, and whofc activity re- 
 mains inexhauftcd by continuance. 
 
 That inward fufficJency which depends not 
 upon the poffeffion of externals, but muft be 
 fcarched for in the mind alone, and which 
 
 may
 
 [ 45 J 
 
 msy equally be acquired by the opulent ot, 
 the indigent, is the AYTAPXEIA '.vhich 
 the Apoftlc Paul recommends to Timothy as 
 being ' ; Great Gain," and indeed is the only 
 independent good which it is in the power 
 of mortal reafoncrs to appropriate to thcm- 
 felvcs. and of which, \vailft they continue 
 to be rational beings, they cannot be depriv- 
 ed. "Here then it is," in thofe words of the 
 Poet which I have placed at the beginning of 
 this cffay " What you are ftriving for you 
 may obtain' without further trouble," he 
 adds, "Animus si te non deficit aquus," "If you 
 are not deficient in an evennefs of temper. " 
 But this equanimity, which appears fo eafy 
 to praftife to the imagination, is found by ex- 
 perience to be attended with great difficulty 
 in reality : There is great difference between 
 promptitude of resolution and the deliberate 
 
 pcrfe-
 
 perfcverance of determinate execution ; the 
 nrll is eafily accornplifhed by fudden voliti- 
 on, the other Will require the excited in- 
 duftry of arduous endeavour, to arrive at the 
 cbjetl to which its purpofe is direfted. under 
 the flow but fuie guidance of a patience, pla- 
 cid and compofed in every emergency, and 
 unruffled by the fucceeding difficulties of re- 
 peated obftruciions. The clouds of calamity 
 may indeed obfcure the appearance of the 
 virtuous, but like the fuperior planets they 
 perform their circuits amidfl a purer aether, 
 uninfluenced by the mifts which obumbratG 
 the atmofpherical regions, and intercept the 
 viiion of their fhort fighted inhabitants ; 
 creatures of partial obfervation, and confined 
 faculties of intellect ; fubjecl: to a multiplicity 
 of errors, and indulging in a variety of dclu- 
 fions, engendered by the extravagancies of 
 
 vanity
 
 [47] 
 
 vanity in conjunlion with felf-love; nurtur- 
 ed by prejudice, and ?.luated by the inftinc- 
 tive operations of psffions, the continual pro- 
 pennties to what divines and moralifts call 
 evil ; but we can with far greater facility join 
 in the trite and common-place declamation of 
 the aforefaid defcriptionsof profeflional men, 
 than we can defcry an adequate remedy ; or 
 if even it were in our power to difcover this 
 dcfideratum, we fhould Mill be wanting in the 
 means of adminiftering the prefcription, and 
 our knowledge would thus become of no ef- 
 fect. 
 
 SONNET.
 
 [48] 
 
 SONNET, 
 Written at MACAO, March 1787. 
 
 1 HROUGH climes remoteft as I joylefs ftray, 
 
 Let recolle6iion here convoke her pow'rs, 
 As on this far-fam'd verge of Oltl CATHAY, 
 
 I loitering languifh, through long, lingering hours 
 
 Yet why too deeply thus thy lot deplore, 
 In fruitlefs grief, in exclamations vain ? 
 
 Like thee on this inhofpitable fhore, 
 
 The LUSITANIAN POET* did complain. 
 
 Did'ft thou like Him fuperior genius boaft, 
 Cou'd'ft thou like Him awake the living lyre^ 
 
 Like Him aroufe this mercenary coaft, 
 With the warm raptures of poetic fire ? 
 
 7'hcn bootlefs were not all thy toil, thy grief, 
 
 The thought of lafting fame would be thy great relief 
 
 * CAMOENS,
 
 L -19 j 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 7. 
 
 TUESDAY, DECEMBER 5 th. 1797. 
 
 jfe me fouviens d'avoir damnejadis, 
 L'amant avare } & je ne m'en dedis. 
 
 FONTAINE. 
 
 ,i\.S I am rather apprehenfive that the ftile 
 of thefe papers is acquiring^ a ferioufnefs 
 which, being long continued, may degene- 
 rate into dulnefs, I (hall endeavour to divert 
 the attention of my readers by the infertion 
 of the following ftory, imitated from the live- 
 ly La, Fontaine. 
 
 H THE
 
 [50] 
 
 THE FALCON, 
 
 A Tale for the Ladies. 
 
 I 
 
 Know, nor fay I aught contrary, 
 I've often damn'd the mercenary: 
 My verfe was always fure to bLme 
 The proud and avaricious dame. 
 But if this reafoning hold good, 
 By the fame rule the generous fhou'd 
 Be prais'd and plac'd in Paradife ; 
 I leave this to Collegians wife. 
 
 A Courtier there was once 'tis faid he 
 
 In Florence lov'd a certrin Lady. 
 
 Lov'd her fo foolifhly I'm told, 
 
 He would for her his foul have fold. 
 
 Trying to entertain his honey ; 
 
 With both hands threw away his money : 
 
 Knowing
 
 Knowing full well in love and war, 
 
 ''Tis weight of metal carries far, 
 
 That certain conqueft. on it waits. 
 
 It beats down walls, and opens gates, 
 
 Carries it's point in every fuit, 
 
 Makes dogs and chambermaids be mute, 
 
 Or makes them better fpeakers far, 
 
 Than the bejl Counfel at the Bar : 
 
 In fhort he fearch'd each place about, 
 
 for he was ftrong and fhe was flout, 
 
 Indeed he wifh'd to leave nought {landing 
 
 But try'd all ways to get his hand in, 
 
 Yet was at length forc'd to retreat 
 
 And left the Fair-one 011 her feet. 
 
 She held her ground, but Frederic (tumbled 
 
 Upon this rock, and as he tumbled 
 
 He ' broke his nofej' and what was worle 
 
 He to no purpofe drain'd his purfe ; 
 
 Loft all his fortune in a word, 
 
 Manors and Marquifates (Good Lordfj 
 
 He
 
 [ s 3 
 
 He had in places, more than one . 
 
 But foon they all were fold and gont. 
 
 Folks, Air. Longtail, us'd to call him, 
 
 E're this misfortune did befall him ; 
 
 But Love had brought him to that pafs, 
 
 His Tail was fhort enough (Alas!) 
 
 The poor man now of all bereft, 
 
 Had only one fmall farm-houfe left, 
 
 And but a (lender flock of friends ; 
 
 When fortune's gone, foon friendship ends . 
 
 And thofe that did ftick by him now, 
 
 Were indeed friends, but God knows how, 
 
 'Tis true, ' tis pity ' they would cry- ~\ 
 
 But no affiftance would fupply, V 
 
 Nor lend without fecurity : ) 
 
 Poor Frederic^ his wit and merit, 
 
 His elocution and his fpirit, 
 
 His generous gifts were foon forgot, 
 
 And vanifh'd with his happy lot. 
 
 In
 
 [53] 
 
 In this indeed there's nothing new. 
 For 'tis as common as 'tis true : 
 And Clitic's lover to his coft, 
 Found when he had his fortune loft. 
 Soon out of money out of credit, 
 Although at full lie did not heed it ; 
 For whilfl it lailed, pbys and dancing 
 He gave in hopes his fuit t'advance in ; 
 Made feafts, and tournaments, and fports, 
 Enriching tradefmen of all forts : 
 Tailors and entertainment-makers, 
 Muficians, poets, undertakers, 
 About his heels in troops did follow. 
 At Frederic's tu'ole fat Apollo. 
 And there was neither wife nor maid 
 In Florence, but her charms effay'd 
 T'entrap his heart, one beauty tries 
 The wanton glances of her eyes : 
 Another whifperi in his ear, 
 
 * My life, my darting, and my dear ; ' 
 
 Otht
 
 [54 j 
 
 3S00300OOOOOCC 
 
 Others by filcnt motions fhove 
 To gain his favour and his love ; 
 But he to all a blank rcturn'd 
 
 And for the cruel Clitic burn'd. 
 
 i 
 For her he would have Helen fcorn'd. 
 
 But he could never gain his end, 
 Nor to his wifh the Lady bend. 
 
 At fuch a rate the youth went on 
 The Marquifates were quickly gone ; 
 And next the Counties went to Hell, 
 'Till he had nothing more to fell. 
 The Counties were to him moft dear, 
 'Tis quite another matter here, 
 l-'or one had better be a Count in 
 The realms on t'other fide the mountain ; 
 Here we the firft a Marquis deem. 
 Though elfewhere Barons are fupreme. 
 Which is the bed I do not know ; 
 This I can tell if you fhould go 
 
 T.
 
 [55] 
 
 To market only with a name, 
 
 You might return juft as you came : 
 
 Take you the title, I'm content, 
 
 So you let me receive the rent. 
 
 Clitie had wealth at her command ; 
 
 Her hufband was a lord of land. 
 
 And as {he therefore was not needy, 
 
 She fhew'd fhe was not over greedy, 
 
 She neither took his gifts nor cafh, 
 
 But only let him fpend the trafh ; 
 
 Nor thought him authoris'd from thence 
 
 To feek of her a recompence. 
 
 If I remember right, I've told 
 
 He flill had one farm-houfe unfold : 
 
 But that was but a paltry place, 
 
 And 'like, it's mafter in dif^race,' 
 
 Thither did Frederic repair, 
 
 To hide his poverty and care ; 
 
 Afham'd at Florence to be feen, 
 
 \yhere he had in fuch fplendor been ; 
 
 Afham'd
 
 [ 66 
 
 Afham'd thst he had not known how 
 
 % 
 
 To gain by conflancy or fhow ; 
 Nor by fix years of painful duty, 
 Whom yet he lovM, a fcorafiil beauty. 
 Upon himfelf he laid the blame, 
 And not upon the charming dame ; 
 She never heard him once complain 
 Or of her coldncfs or difdain. 
 Our Lover now liv'd as he could 
 In his retreat, not as he would ; 
 He kept no company faw no man 
 Only one toothlefs poor old woman 
 Was all the fervant he was rich in : 
 Cold and unoccupy'd his kitchen ; 
 For feldom covcr'd was his table ; 
 -A mtddl r ng horfe flood in the flable/. 
 
 ( To be continued.}
 
 [57] 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 eooooocoooooooceoooa 
 
 No. 8. 
 
 TUESDAY, DECEMBER 12th. 1797. 
 
 THE FALCON, 
 
 Continued. 
 
 JL\. Falcon perch'd upon the balk, 
 With which he round the farm would walk; 
 And facrifice, to footh his cares, 
 Numbers of partridges and hares, 
 Although they could not guilty be 
 Of Madam Clitic's cruelty. 
 Thus pafs'd his time the wretched lover. 
 And had been wife thus to recover 
 By lofs of wealth his liberty, 
 And from confuming love get free, 
 
 I But
 
 ' [58] 
 
 But by it's raging flames flill i reft, 
 
 The fad remembrance vex'd his breaft : 
 
 Whene'er he did a hunting ride, 
 
 Grim care was always at his fide. 
 
 But we fhall fee that " by and by," 
 
 Fair Clitie's hufband chanc'd to die, 
 
 And as he had no child but one, 
 
 A weak and fickly puny ion, 
 
 Who had not half an inch of life, 
 
 He left his fortune to his w fc ; 
 
 Declaring by his will, that fhe 
 
 On the child's death, his heir fhould be. 
 
 The boy fell lick, and as we know ~\ 
 
 That mothers frequently, to (how > 
 
 Their tendcrnefs, cm fcsrce tell how ; j 
 
 And often this miftaken zeal 
 
 Is hurtful to the children*' weal. 
 
 This loving parent us'd to (lay 
 
 Befide her darling all the day, 
 
 Continually
 
 C 9 1 
 
 Continually kept afkiiig, ' What 
 
 4 He lik'd to eat of this or that ? ' 
 
 Afk'd him, ' What toys he lik'd to have' 
 
 And 'What his appetite did crave ? ' 
 
 "Whate'er they offer 'd he refus'd, 
 
 And thus his peevifhnefs excus'd, 
 
 By faying, 'all that he did crave 
 
 ' Was only Frederic's bird to have : ' 
 
 In fhort he did io fret and cry, 
 
 He tir'd the fervants heartily. 
 
 A child, whatever whim he takes, 
 
 About it fuch a buftle makes, 
 
 That if you'd have him hold his tongue 
 
 You muft indulge him, right or wrong. 
 
 But now 'tis proper I fhould tell, 
 
 Befide where Frederic did dwell, 
 
 Five hundred yards from his retreat 
 
 Clitie poffefs'd a country feat, 
 
 And where the child (as he was walking) 
 
 About the bird might hear folks talking ; 
 
 They
 
 f 6o] 
 
 They told him wonderful tranfcftions, 
 ' That never Falcon did fuch atlions, 
 And that no partridge in his fight 
 'Could hope to fave himfelf by Plight, 
 *That he kill'djcorcs each morning loon, 
 4 And dozens every afternoon ; 
 * And that his marter, they'd be bound 
 ' Would not take for him twenty pound.' 
 Matters thus ciicumftanc'd who, 
 Think you 'twas knew not what to do ? 
 It was fair Clitic. l\ow could fhc 
 With lucklefs Fred'ric make fo free ? 
 The only thing he had, to take 
 How durft fhe the pro^olal make ? 
 With him fhe could no merit plead, 
 Who had forfook him in his need ; 
 Had paid him with ingratitude, 
 Had been to him both proud and rude. 
 With what a face could fhe repair 
 To him to tell her flory there ? 
 
 She
 
 She had occafiori'd his undoing, 
 And was the reafon of his ruin :- 
 But then again, her boy declin'd, 
 Wafted away and daily pin'd ; 
 Refus'd all med'cine, arid all food 
 Rejected too, unlefs he cou'd 
 Procure this Falcon cry 'd and rav'd. 
 ' Without it he could not be fav'd : ' 
 And feeing other methods fc.il'd, 
 His argument at length prevail'd. 
 The Lady on a morning fair, 
 Alone to Frederic's did repair: 
 Her coach and fervants left behind. 
 And went on foot his hut to find. 
 When fhe appear'd to Frederic's eyes, 
 She feem'd an angel from the flues. 
 But foon he grows afnam'd and vex'd. 
 And in his fancy fore perplex'd, 
 That he no dinner could prepare, 
 But what mud be mod homely fare. 
 
 And
 
 [62 j 
 
 And as he faw the Dame in trouble, 
 His own confufion too grew double. 
 At length, with agitated bread, 
 He the fair widow thus addreft : 
 
 * What ! come to fee the humbled flave 
 
 * That your tranfcendent beauties have ; 
 ' A wretch defpis'd, a lonely clown, 
 
 ' A miserable ruftic grown ! 
 
 * You do fuch honour to this place, 
 ' I fear it may yourfelf difgrace ; 
 ' You certainly have loft you way, 
 
 ' And from your purpos'd vifit dray ? ! 
 The widow faid, ' to tell you true, 
 ' Kind Sir, my vifu's meant to you ; 
 
 * And mean, I need no further fay, 
 'To take pot-luck with you to-day.' 
 ' Alas ! ' fays he with doleful look, 
 
 ' I neither fcullion have nor cook : 
 
 ' What (hall I get ? ' ' Have you no bread ? ' 
 
 With feign'd iurprife the Lady faid. 
 
 Awav
 
 Away the Lover goes to work, 
 
 To feek for eggs and look for pork : 
 
 In this diftrefs he cad his eye 
 
 Upon his Falcon, infbntly 
 
 His neck he twifts, then plucks and fries him, 
 
 Seafons, and all about he hies him : 
 
 \Vhilft the old woman with her broom 
 
 Firft fweeps the floor, then fands the room, 
 
 And fp reads (the table being iet) 
 
 The cleaned cloth that fhe could get ; 
 
 Then goes (to haften on my ballad) 
 
 To cut fome herbs to make a fallad : 
 
 In little time the fricaflee 
 
 Was made as nice as nice could be. 
 
 The Dame, who faw how matters Mood. 
 
 Eat, and declar'd it ' very good : ' 
 
 And by maternal fondnefs preft, 
 
 Refolv'd to hazard her rcquefl ; 
 
 Then whilft a blufh o'erfpreads her cheeks, 
 
 In faultering accents thus fhe fpeaks : 
 
 ' I am
 
 [ 64 J 
 
 'I arn a fool. Sir, I confefs, 
 
 ' Who come to add to your diftrefs 
 
 c Another blow 'tis hardly decent 
 
 In me to afk you for a prcfent, 
 
 ' And from my ruin'd Lover take 
 
 * What does his fole diverfion make : 
 ' He has no reafon. 1 agree, 
 
 4 To feel the leaft concern for me ; 
 
 * But do not my requeft refufe, 
 c A mother in diftrefs, excufc ; 
 
 : My fon is haftening to his grave,. 
 ' And begs he may your Falcon have : 
 ' I know indeed that my behaviour 
 ' Has not dcfcrv'd from you this favour 
 ' I freely own impartial reafon 
 
 Muft fay my fuit is out of feafon. 
 
 (The Condufion in my ntxt.)
 
 r *5 ] 
 
 3000 OOOC OO030000 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 cooe oooo 0003000 soooo 
 
 No. 9. 
 
 TUESDAY, DECEMBER igth. 1797. 
 
 'Ov 
 
 THE FALCON. Concluded. 
 
 you no favours I beftow'd 
 
 * For all the tendernefs you fhow'd. 
 
 * Your eafe, your honour, and your treafures 
 ' You facrific'd to Clitic's pleafures. 
 
 ' More than your life you valu'd me ; 
 4 Such love I've us'd ungratefully : 
 ' And I am come thefe wrongs to finifh, 
 ' Your little fortune to diminifh ; 
 ' To afk for what 'tis lofing time 
 ' Your Falcon, no, 'tis fuch a crime, 
 ' You can't with this requeft comply 
 
 : Rather let child and mother die 
 
 K 'Thai;
 
 [66] 
 
 ' Than take from you your only wealth, 
 
 In order to regain his health : 
 
 'Then, without further words, permit 
 
 ' This mother fad your houfe to quit ; 
 
 { Loving her deareft darling more, 
 
 ' Than ever woman did before, 
 
 ' Her only fon, her only hope, 
 
 ' At leafl to give her forrow fcope, 
 
 ' She flies to you to feek relief, 
 
 ' And in your bread repofe her grief. 
 
 'You can by your experience prove, 
 
 ' How (harp the pangs and pains of Love : 
 
 'You know it all, and in your mind 
 
 ' I fhall a ready pardon find.' 
 
 ' Alas! ' reply'd th'unhappy fwain, 
 
 I'm then unfortunate again 
 
 ' The Bird's no more ! as I'm a (inner, 
 
 'You've had him fricaflied to dinner.' 
 
 'The Bird's no more ! ' confus'd and pale 
 
 The widow faid, ' is that your tale ? '
 
 [67 J 
 
 ooooooooooooooo eoac 
 
 " No, ' reply'd he, 'and would to Heaven 3 
 
 * I in his place my heart had given ! 
 ' But fortune plainly lets me fee 
 
 * That in my power it ne'er will be 
 ; To merit any grace from you, 
 
 ' But bids to all my hopes adieu. 
 ' Nothing was left within my flail, 
 ' The beads two days fmcc eat up all : 
 4 1 faw the bird, and did not ftay, 
 'But flaughter'd him without delay ; 
 
 * For when one has a queen to treat, 
 'Why calculate the price of meat ? 
 ' All I can do for you, 's to find 
 
 * A Falcon of as good a kind ; 
 
 4 Tis not fo hard a thing to match, 
 'To-morrow we'll another catch.' 
 
 * No, Frederic,' (he thus reply'd 
 ' 1 here declare I'm fatisfy'd: 
 
 c You never did fo truly prove 
 
 ' To me before, how great your love. 
 
 Let
 
 [681 
 
 ' Let the Fates take away my fon, 
 
 4 Or not, the will of Heaven be done ; 
 
 * To you I'll always grateful be. 
 'And hope you'll come and vifit me; 
 
 * Again I fay it and repeat it, 
 
 ' Pray come and fee us, I entreat it.' 
 Then unto him before fhe went, 
 She did her lily hand prcfcnt, 
 Which was a fure and certain token, 
 That love her ftubboninefs had broken. 
 He kifs'd her hand 'midft hopes and fears, 
 And bath'd it fometime with his tears. 
 In two days time the young lad died, 
 The doating mother fondly cry'd. 
 But grief, however ftrong, will bend 
 To confolation in the end ; 
 So well two doftors did her treat, 
 They fhortly made the cure compleat ; 
 If you would know their names in rhyme, 
 The one was Love, the other Time. 
 
 With
 
 With Frederic fhe in pompous fhow 
 
 Did to the bridal altar go, 
 
 Not to fulfil her obligation, 
 
 But what is more, through inclination. 
 
 \Ve muft not here ourfelvcs deceive, 
 
 And from a tale like this believe 
 
 \Ve may our wealth and fubftance wafie, 
 
 And get it thus again replac'd : 
 
 Such truth all women do not fhow, 
 
 Though they are charming things we know , 
 
 No finer creature you can fpy 
 
 Beneath th'expanuon of the fky : 
 
 Not that they all are melting fluff, 
 
 Some that I know are hard enough : 
 
 When well they praftife their dominion. 
 
 I have of them the beft opinion ; 
 
 The reft, who have no need of me. 
 
 For others' praifes may go fee. 
 
 TKL
 
 [70 j 
 
 THE following imitations from the fame 
 iprightly writer will fupply the remainder of 
 this.papcr. in which I am too far advanced 
 to commence a new fubjel of difquifition. 
 
 Le JUGE de MESLE. 
 A W O Lawyers, wrangling in a fuit, 
 Perplex'd the Judge by long difpute : 
 So very intricate it grew, 
 lie knew not which was falfe or true. 
 Holding two draws of different fize - 
 Beneath his fingers, ' Chufe,' he cries: 
 The longed fell to the defendant, 
 \V ho went his way, pleas'd with the end on't. 
 The Court complains the Judge replies, 
 'Gentlemen, here no error lies : 
 * My method, though it may be new, 
 4 Excels the method you purfue : 
 ' Far more incertain is the law, 
 { Than drawing for the fhorteft draw.'
 
 IMITATION from ANACREON. 
 
 Painter, who can (hew 
 What Paphos ana Cythera view, 
 Though {he's abfent, prithee try 
 To defcribe her to my eye. 
 Thou fay'ft thou never clidft her fee \ '" 
 So much better, friend, for thce. 
 In few words, and fhortiy too, 
 I will tell thee what to do : 
 Lillies firft with rofes join, 
 Then the loves and fmiles combine. 
 But I may defcription fpare, 
 From a Venus make my fair. 
 Then the likenefs all will ftnke, 
 Ne'er were features more alike : 
 And from beauty thus pourtray'd, 
 From perfection thus difplay'd, 
 Paphos and Cythera too, 
 May another Venus view.
 
 [72] 
 
 The GLUTTON, from Atktnau*. 
 
 ,/JLS a Glutton fat at table, 
 
 Eating faft as he was able, 
 
 He requir'd a Sturgeon fifh 
 
 To be brought f him in a difh 
 
 Which the table overfpread, 
 
 Leaving nothing but the head. 
 
 He fluffs 'till he can cram no more. 
 
 Then for help begins to roar: 
 
 Of Phyncians, foon a tribe, 
 
 Clyftcrs did for him prefcribc ; 
 
 And advis'd as he was ill, 
 
 Him direcl to make his will. 
 
 1 Frieiids,' the Glutton thus rcply'd. 
 
 I'll the matter foon decide : 
 
 Since I muft die, I do not doubt it. 
 : Make no more to do about it, 
 
 ' Bring me in another difh, 
 All that's wanting of mv fifti.'
 
 [ 73 ] 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 10. 
 
 TUESDAY, DECEMBER 26th. 1797. 
 
 LeElorem dtkElando pariterque monendo. 
 HOR. 
 
 A !' is not without fome degree of felf-com- 
 t>lacency that I find myfelf again at liberty to 
 refumc the ferious tenor of diftion, which 
 it was my primary intention fhould defignate 
 thefe hebdomadal reveries of literary prolufi- 
 on, and from which I have lately attempted 
 to deviate in an affumed ftrain of imitative 
 jocularity, intended to counteract a fuppofed 
 propenfity in them to an unintereiling gloo- 
 minefs, whofe proclivity was augmented by 
 its progreffion, and from which it was ne- 
 L ceflary
 
 f74] 
 
 ceffary to relieve the attention by a Mile of 
 greater relaxation, without apprehenfion of 
 expofmg myfelf to that acumen of penetrative 
 remark fo confpicuous in a mortified critic, 
 whofe fuccefsful indagations have undoubted- 
 ly been rewarded by his own approbation, 
 and whom we fhall leave employed in th 
 deleftably amufing contemplation of his own 
 perfections. It is undoubtedly my wifh to 
 produce to my readers frequent fpecimens of 
 the agreeable, without omitting that which 
 might poflibly be confidered as more effential- 
 ly ufeful, wherever it might be pertinent to 
 conned their combined powers with relative 
 confiftency of narration. 
 
 It is the part of ridiculous buffoonery to 
 " labour for a joke ; " and efforts to produce 
 laughter, though often fufficiently fuccefsful 
 to excite applaufe, are but rarely fo fortunate
 
 [75] 
 
 as to fecurc the more lading praife of rational 
 approbation, after ferious difcuffion. 
 
 The emanations of genuine wit indeed, 
 proceed not from artifice ; are not the confe- 
 quence of a preconcerted arrangement of 
 ideas, which being once agitated, like the fer- 
 pents and rockets of the Pyrotechnift, fur- 
 prife the uninitiated fpectator by their brilli- 
 ancy of illumination and their fudden vio- 
 lence of explofion. But to furprife, is not 
 always to delight ; fomc wonderful perfor- 
 mances are aftonifhingly difgufting when pro- 
 longed into tedioufnefs. The mind, which 
 catches eagerly at uncommon fcenes of novel- 
 ty, is as quickly fatiated, if compelled to con- 
 fider them with any protrafted continuance 
 of extraordinary duration, and reverts to its 
 ordinary terms of expreflion and its cufloma- 
 ry train of ideas: There are, undoubtedly, 
 
 feme-
 
 [76] 
 
 fome general principles whofe application 
 may be of univerfal utility, and whofe rela- 
 tive value may be appreciated by the genera- 
 lity of mankind : But thefe, in coming home 
 to men;/ minds and bufmcffes, as Bacon ^.hra- 
 fes it, are marked by an almoft infinitude of 
 relative difcriminations, therefore their parti- 
 cular application muft neccflarily be fubmit-- 
 ted to individual difcretion, which is not al- 
 ways fufficient to dircft to a right determina- 
 tion. Hence arifes fo often the multifariouf- 
 ncfs of error, and the evil confequences of 
 repeated miftake. So various are our fixati- 
 ons, and fo different the cmbarraflments we 
 have to contend with, that it is almoft impof- 
 fible to difcover a general rule, sn indubita- 
 ble criterion, by which a remedy equally ap- 
 plicable to each, might be compofcd, if we 
 except the common-place maxims of patient 
 
 forbear-
 
 [77] 
 
 forbearance. 1 alienee is indeed the Pleni- 
 tude of 1 hilofophy, recommended equally 
 by the Divine and the Moralift; but this pa- 
 tience as it cannot eafily be defined, fo nei- 
 ther can it be acquired with the facility of 
 common attainments. It requires a bodily 
 frame regulated by ftricl and undeviating tem- 
 perance, and a mental faculty directed by un- 
 prejudiced reafon. But to be certain that the 
 mental faculty is really directed by unbiaffed 
 reafon, it'will be neceflary for us to confider, 
 what is meant by the term, which is one of 
 thofe few words of which we have rather an 
 abftra&, than a concrete idea, having no 
 form of fubftance, no imagery of fcntiment. 
 which we can conned with the expreffion ; 
 no abfolute ftandard of judging, irrefpeftivc 
 of time, place, and circum (lance; from which> 
 when collated with it, we may, by analogous 
 
 ratioci-
 
 [78 J 
 
 >ooo=oooeoooco 
 
 ratiocination, form candid and unprejudiced 
 companion. \Y e fee the fatal confequences 
 of human turpitude too frequently exempli- 
 fied before us,, in the numerous inftonces of 
 human mifery ; and we are Mill more fre- 
 quently witnefles of the mifchiefs produced 
 by the errors of negligence, and the blunders 
 of inconfideration. 
 
 The volume of inftrucl'on is unfolded be- 
 fore us, the map of human life is expanded 
 for our improvement ; but our eyes are avert- 
 ed from the profpeft, or we wilfully clofc 
 them upon it. " To what end " will the 
 volatile and lively reader exclaim, "are thele 
 dry apothegms of common-place declamation 
 again brought forward before us ? We have 
 feen them before, and have before refufcd to 
 look at them : We expefted novelty of en- 
 tertainment, and are prefented with the ftale 
 
 rep re-
 
 [79l 
 
 oooeoooooooofii 
 
 reprefentations of antiquated reproof." By 
 no means think fo : Ye fons of hilarity, en- 
 joy your feftivity ; ye daughters of gaiety, 
 purfue your diverfions : Cloud not the acci- 
 dental funfhine of life with the gloominefs of 
 anxious foreboding. " Sufficient for the day 
 is the evil thereof." 
 
 Com arte, e com engano, 
 Se vive meyo anno j 
 Com engano. e com arte, 
 Se vive a outra parte. 
 
 PORTUGUESE PROVERB. 
 
 Imitation. 
 
 By art and induflry, 'tis clear 
 
 A man may live one half the year ; 
 
 Likewife by induftry and art, 
 
 He may get through the other part : 
 
 Then why lament or be perplex'd ? 
 
 What ferv'd this year will ferve the next 
 
 There's no occanon to complain, 
 
 What has done once will do again.
 
 [So] 
 
 SONNET, 
 o-- 
 
 iJUITS it thine elegance of tafte refin'd, 
 To be by vulgar, fenfual joys debas'd ? 
 
 Suits it the grandeur of thy towering mind, 
 Thy noble felf on low puiluits to wafte ? 
 
 Would'ft thou, rejecting rcafon's mild controul, 
 Each finer impulfe of the foul defpife ? 
 
 Keel frantic from tli' inebriating bowl, 
 
 Oi from the couch of luft exhaufted rife ? 
 
 No ; purer joys, more genuine blifs be thine, 
 Blifs fuch as difembodied fpirits know, 
 
 In realms where everlafting glories mine, 
 Surpaffing far imperfeft blifs below : 
 
 Ah 1 who would not perpetual joy to gain. 
 In patient hope endure a temporary chain.
 
 I 
 
 r 81 
 
 Kjoooooooe 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 11. 
 
 TUESDAY, JANUARY a d. 1798. 
 
 Ingenuas didiciffe Jidditer artes 
 EmoU.it mores necfinit e/eferos. 
 
 Ov. Pont. II. 9. 
 
 'Tis liberal fcience meliorates mankind, 
 The manners foftens, and improves the 
 mind. 
 
 contemplating the progreflive improve- 
 ment of the ingenuous arts, we are almoftin- 
 ftindively induced to obferve the analogy 
 fubfi fling between them and the liberal fcien- 
 ces ; we perceive how they may be mutually 
 illuftrative of each other, how the produc- 
 tions of painting are elucidated by the de- 
 M . fcriptions
 
 [ 82 ] 
 
 fcriptions of poeiry, and obferve the fub- 
 limeft compofitions of the latter, embellifhed 
 by the profeflbrs of the graphic art. The 
 loftieft flights of Milton's Mufe acquire ftill 
 more exalted elevation, when reprefented to 
 the faculties of fight by the adventurous pen- 
 cil of Fufeli, whofe daring genius attempts 
 the romantic and pourtrays the terri'le, with 
 an uncommon grandeur of wild imagination. 
 Might not the following paflage from Dry- 
 den's firft ode on St. Cecilia's d;>y, defcribing 
 the origin of mufic, afford a fcbjctl for de- 
 fign, worthy the employment of that power- 
 ful pencil. 
 
 When Jubaljlruck the chorded fall, 
 
 His lijlemng brethren Jiood around: 
 T/ien wondering, on their faces fell : 
 Lefs than a God, tliey thought there could 
 
 not dwell 
 Within the hollow magic of that, found, 
 
 Whofe mitfic fpoke fo fweetly and fa well. 
 
 The
 
 J 
 
 . The various gradations of artlefs ailoniih- 
 ment vifible in the features of thefe primae- 
 val inhabitants of the Earth, to whom the 
 powers of inftrumental harmony had till then 
 been undifclofed ; the glow of triumphant ia- 
 tisfaftion which fliould discriminate the phy- 
 fiognomy of the artift himfelf, elated with 
 and exulting in the difcovery which he had 
 made ; together with a wildnefs of fcenery 
 chaiacleriftic of that early age in which it 
 may be fancied to have happened ; would, in 
 the hands of fo great a matter as him we have 
 mentioned, form a reprefentation of an event 
 which may be confidered as a mod memora- 
 ble epocha in the annals of the fciences. 
 
 Superficial obfervers, whofe minds are con- 
 trafted by prejudice, and whofe remarks are 
 confined to the confiderations of felnfhnefs: 
 who cannot conceive any thing to be ufeful 
 
 which
 
 which is not connected with the expectation 
 of pecuniary profit ; who defpife all inftruc- 
 tion which has no tendency to enlarge their 
 gains or diminifh their expenditure, will not 
 think any of thefe fubjctls worthy their con- 
 fideration which hold out to them no means 
 of cither : To them the liberal arts arc ufc- 
 lefs, for them the Great Author of Nature 
 has in vain difplayed the magnificent fcenes 
 of the Univerfe ; and even the celeftial man- 
 fions would by them be difregarded, if they 
 were not told that the New Jerufalem was an 
 accumulation of gold, and an ineftimable re- 
 pofitory of jewels : Like the Mammon of 
 Milton, they would find more pleafure in fur- 
 veying the golden pavement of Heaven, than 
 in the contemplation of the Divine Efful- 
 gence. To fuch I write not ; but to thofe 
 to whom every increafe of the intellectual fa- 
 culties,
 
 [85 J 
 
 eulties, every adaitional idea, becomes a no- 
 vel fource from whence new flreams of men- 
 tal pleafure may be derived, and of which it 
 is not in the power of mifchievous malevo- 
 lence to deprive them ; a confideration which, 
 banifhing all fear on that point, repreffes at 
 the fame time all anxiety : It is for thefe alone 
 that the ingenuous arts offer their fplendicl 
 banquet of fcientific entertainment : But even 
 the banquet of Xenophon was of limited dura- 
 tion. The conliderations of prudence, the 
 plain and lively fuggeRions of what is appo- 
 fitely called common-fenfe, muft not be neg- 
 lefted to indulge in an oblivious delirium, 
 forgetful of the atlual circumflances in which 
 it has pleafed the Divine Providence to ftati- 
 on us : To the relative duties of that ftation, 
 whatever it may be, let us feduloufiy apply 
 ourlelves ; as in fo doing only can we be 
 
 truly
 
 [86] 
 
 truly fenfible that we are really and properly 
 exercifmg the appointed offices of life, thro' 
 every vicifTitude of which, however marked 
 by misfortune or diftinguifhed by calamity, 
 there is always a propriety of conduft, a fit- 
 nefs of behaviour, which it may be in our 
 power to praftife and not beyond our abilities 
 to fupport. This reflection might foften the 
 rigour of adverfity, and moderate the ardour 
 of more inconfiderate profperity, flufhed with 
 fuccefs and defpifing the probabilities of fu- 
 ture viciflitude, faint in its appearance and 
 diilant in its profpeft. 
 
 I (hall endeavour to compleat the remain- 
 der of this paper, by inferting, for the enter- 
 tainment of my Female readers, the follow- 
 ing defcription of a Lady, by the celebrated 
 Barthelemy.
 
 CHARACTER OF 
 
 PHEDIME, 
 
 VERSIFIED FROM THE 
 
 TRAVELS OF ANACHARSIS. 
 
 I 
 
 To the confort of Arfames give 
 That homage virtue may from truth receive. 
 Her Genius to dcfcribe, her Wit make known, 
 Would afk a genius equal to her own ; 
 But even Wit like her's would not fuffice, 
 Her heart to portray free from every vice ; 
 It would a foul of equal worth require, 
 To paint the virtues which her mind infpire, 
 
 Phedimc inftantaneoufly difcerns 
 An object's difference, it's relations learns, 
 The pure expreffion of a fmgle word 
 From her, can all defcription's charms afford. 
 Sometimes fhe feems to recollect a thought, 
 Altho' it fprings fpontaneous and untaught : 
 From few ideas fhe would quickly find 
 The hiftory of the wanderings of the mind ; 
 But could not from a thoufand rules impart 
 The various turns and wanderingsof the heart; 
 
 Her
 
 [88] 
 
 oeoooeooroseooosoo* 
 
 Her own too pure iuch wanderings to conceive, 
 Is fraught with too much goodnefs to believe. 
 Without a blufh fhe might her life review, 
 The feries of her thoughts and adlions fhcw. 
 'Tis fhe illuftrates by example bright, 
 The virtues make but one when they unite ; 
 And proves that virtue is the means mod fure 
 General efteem unenvied to procure. 
 She adds to that calm intrepidity 
 Which gives to character it's energy, 
 An incxhaufiible Beneficence, 
 Attivc yet free from every proud pretence; 
 Her foul, which deeds of goodnefs flill em- 
 ploy, 
 
 Seems only to exift for others' joy. 
 Of all ambitious thoughts fhe has but one ; 
 To pleafe her hufband is her aim alone. 
 If in her youth when deck'd with matchlefs 
 
 grace, 
 She fhould have heard extoll'd her mien and 
 
 face, 
 
 And all thofe fhining qualities difplay'd, 
 Of which I here a feeble (ketch have made, 
 Lefs would fhe feel, lefs fatisfy'd would feem, 
 Than, if her dear Arfames were the theme.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 12. 
 
 TUESDAY, JANUARY gth. 1798. 
 
 Sal, fol, ren, Jplen, car, fer, vir, vas, vadis, 
 
 as, mas. 
 
 PROPRIA. QU.E MARIBUS. 
 
 Tf 
 II E following lines were intended as a 
 
 complimentary New-Year's Gift to a Lady ; an 
 accident (not neceflary to particularize) pre- 
 vented their being received as fuch : They 
 are offered to the Public in the hope that 
 they may not prove unacceptable. 
 
 W I T H what new numbers fhall I haU 
 the day, 
 
 In what new ftrains my gratulations pay ? 
 
 N Shall
 
 [9o] 
 
 Shall I with common compliments appear. 
 "A merry Chriftmas and a happy year? " 
 Or {hall I aiming at a nobler prize, 
 Recite the triumphs of Elvira's eyes ? 
 Predil what conqueft on her beauty waits, 
 The bright prcfages of her Imiling fates ; 
 Or raife the monitory voice of truth, 
 In friendly caution to direft her youth, 
 Shew her how adulation fp reads the fnare, 
 And bid that unfufpefting youth bewsre ? 
 Would not the gift more eftimable prove 
 Than the pert phrafe of fafhionable love ? 
 O fair, O graceful, liften to my lay, 
 No trivial gallantries I mean to fay ; 
 Rcqueft not an uninterrupted health, 
 Increafing beauty and augmented wealth ; 
 Incomparable charms or matchlefs wit, 
 Let Heaven bellow or not, as Heaven thinks 
 fit;
 
 [9* 3 
 
 But Heaven's befl boon, it's earlicft gift re- 
 tain, 
 
 Unfullied let your innocence remain; 
 So (hall your mind devoid of guilty fear, 
 Find a rich picient each returning year. 
 With felf-approving peace of mind be bled ; 
 And truft to God's good Providence the i-eft. 
 But think not Truth's fair features always 
 
 wear 
 
 Reproof's grave afpel and the look fevere, 
 Even Truth appears with moll engaging grace 
 When reprefented with a fmiling face : 
 Virtue to chearfulnefs is near allied, 
 Harfhnefs and fpleen originate in pride ; 
 Religion cries, ' Malevolence remove,' 
 And Chrijt's pure precepts teach fraternal 
 
 love : 
 
 Let fly Hypocrify and bigot Zeal 
 In guife auftere depravity conceal ; 
 
 Let
 
 [9O 
 
 eeeoooeeoooooooeoM 
 
 Let true devotion raife her chearful voice, 
 And with the Great ApoRle fay " Rejoice." 
 Your moderation let mankind obfervc, 
 Nor think in this you from your duty fwerve : 
 Not that falfe mirth lafcivious riot fliows, 
 When fhe with mny garlands binds her brows, 
 But that ferenity, mild, calm, and kind, 
 "With which Religion fortifies the mind, 
 Rebukes refentment and rcpreffes flrife, 
 And bears with patient hope the ills of life -. 
 Propp'd and fupported by fuftaining grace 
 "With refignation runs th' appointed race ; 
 By guilt unterrificd refigns her breath 
 Thro' faith triumphant o'er the dart of death. 
 But lighter meafuresfuit your blooming years, 
 Your fpring of life bedcck'd with flowers ap- 
 pears, 
 
 O may thofe flowers thro' life perennial lad, 
 Nor feel the blight of forrow's chilling biaft. 
 
 Let
 
 [93] 
 
 Let fancy through imagination view, 
 
 "What happinefs Heaven has in (lore for you. 
 
 Let others bind the neck witli pearls, and 
 
 wear 
 
 Brilliants in cither perforated ear, 
 With artificial bloom the cheek diflain. 
 And fweep the pavement with a filkcn train. 
 With fuch illecebrations try to move 
 Proud opulence to interefted love ; 
 For me I higher prize the modeft maid 
 Who comes in fwcet fimplicity array'd, 
 Whofe downcaft eyes for no admirers feek. 
 Who owes to Nature's hand her ruddy check, 
 Almeria cries, ' I'm very much afraid, 
 ' You'll hardly meet this antiquated maid, 
 ' Like nothing but heifelf in fhape and fea- 
 
 ' ture, 
 
 All Britain cannot fliow fo queer a creature. 
 ' 'Tis all a fiftion of your own contriving, 
 
 ' I'm very fure there's no fuch woman living : 
 
 'You
 
 [94] 
 
 COOOOCOOCOOODC 
 
 ' You oft mi (lake impertinence for wit, 
 ' And there your vanity is always bit -, 
 'Whate'er you write, there's few to read can 
 
 ' bear, 
 4 Whate'er you fay. there's not a ibul will 
 
 ' hear ; 
 *So hold your peace and throw your pen away, 
 
 * You know you've been once mortified they 
 
 ' lay, 
 ' Therefore take heed which way your foot- 
 
 ' fteps tend, 
 
 ' The Amphisbaena* bites at either end, 
 ' And if the pcifon of his jaw fhould fail, 
 
 * He ftrikes th'unwary traveller with his tail.' 
 
 My charming counfellor I hold it dr.r. 
 My obligations to exprefs to you ; 
 To let thefe wits alone I think it beft, 
 Who with a kicking recompence a jell: 
 
 I would 
 * An American Serpent.
 
 [95 j 
 
 I would not roufe Howhudo's frothy rage. 
 
 Nor yet with fiery Capficum engage, 
 
 And anxious to avoid a brawling fray, 
 
 To muckle Sawney I would yield the way. 
 
 Black with dire clouds denouncing fate I fee 
 
 A revolutionary committee ; 
 
 The dark Divan is juft prepar'd to fit, 
 
 A judicature that does ne'er acquit ; 
 
 Already they anticipate the fcene, 
 
 And elevate the fancied Guillotine ; 
 
 A Guillotine for Me, you make me fmile, 
 
 So mean a viclim is not woith their while ; 
 
 Let them to fhow their prowefs and their wit 
 
 Affright Dundas and metamorphofe Pit ; 
 
 But an unlucky Rhymer they may fpare. 
 
 Like a Camelion feeding upon air; 
 
 A mefs of asther that is quickly carv'd, 
 
 On fuch light diet he will foon be ftarv'd. 
 
 Enough of levity, My mufe again 
 
 Refumes the ferious tenor of her ftrain. 
 
 And
 
 '[96] 
 
 And taught malicious cenfure to contemn, 
 Will vvafte no time that cenfure to condemn, 
 Content to fmifh where (he did commence, 
 Makes to applaufe no arrogant pretence : 
 In humble meeknefs with fubmiffion bends. 
 And candour's verdict placidly attends : 
 So the poor hedge-hog fcar'd by wanton boys 
 With ftaves, and pebbles, and unmeaning noife. 
 Contracting to a ball his prickly {kin, 
 Hopes to be fhelter'd from the fenfelefs din. 
 Sure fuch a limplc fimile as this, 
 There's none fo captious as to take amifs.
 
 [97] 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 oooeooeooooaeotwoo** 
 
 No. 13. 
 
 TUESDAY, JANUARY i6th. 1798. 
 
 Tot, quot, tt omnes 
 Tag, rag, and bobtail. 
 
 T, 
 
 HER K's no one likes a fool that's feri- 
 
 ous, 
 
 'Tis to good humour deleterious ; 
 Will Dickinfon and Tommy Skerry, 
 Thofe are the bards to make folks merry : 
 They bawl without palavering parky t 
 :i Come buy my ftraw, " and " O rare Char- 
 
 ley:" 
 
 O But
 
 [*] 
 
 But as for that poor ftupid fellow, 
 
 Who's always drunk but never mellow, 
 
 I mean that ANOMALIAN fool 
 
 (An afs who try'd to keep a fchool), 
 
 He's been fo plafter'd, they report, 
 
 That to fpeak truth he's A-la-Mort : 
 
 His brains, if ever he had any, 
 
 (Tho' thofe who think fo ate not many) 
 
 Are now become fo loofe and addle, 
 
 He's fit for nothing but a cradle, 
 
 There but contrive to keep him rocking^ 
 
 He may not prove fo very (hocking : 
 
 And yet the fellow made pretence, fir, 
 
 To dub himfelf the public cenfor ; 
 
 Had impudence ('tis faid) enough 
 
 To print defamatory (luff ; 
 
 Profanely ventur'd to fuppofe 
 
 A man might follow his own nofe, 
 
 And fet, without exciting laughter, 
 
 One foot before and 't'other alter: 
 
 Why
 
 [ 99 j 
 
 Why this was blafphemy and trcafon, 
 
 Qaite oppofite to common reafon ; 
 
 Sure fuch an unab^fh'd deceiver 
 
 Mud be a wicked unbeliever ; 
 
 He fhould by all mankind be flouted. 
 
 By boys and baibeis* hifs'd and hooted ; 
 
 Each one on him fhoulcl run )iis rig, 
 
 From Hagalyth to Spital Bri^g .- 
 
 He muit be reckon'd odd and queer, 
 
 From Stone~quay to the Fort and Pier. 
 
 Can any be fo ftrangely ftupid 
 
 Out of three half-pence to be duped ? 
 
 A Good Three Halfpence ! that might buy 
 
 Of Sherry's Wife a Mutton Pye ; 
 
 Purchafe a haddock and a half, 
 
 Or chitterling of fucking calf; 
 
 With annifeed might cure the gripes, 
 
 Or get a charming difh of tripes. 
 
 But 
 
 * Lippis et Tonforibus. . 
 JUVENAL.
 
 L 10 
 
 But this is fomething quite contrary. 
 
 And can to none be necettary. 
 
 I'd have, if I could have my way, 
 
 Thefe fcribbling fools all lent away : 
 
 To New South Waks they all fhould travel, 
 
 Oi on the Thames raife land and gravel, 
 
 There to be taught by ftripes and fetters 
 
 Not to be faucy to their betters, 
 
 There they might hear the Darbies chiming. 
 
 To their melodious ballad rhyming. 
 
 But tho' we cannot make a law 
 
 To keep thefc vicious curs in awe, 
 
 Yet we can fet a popinj iy, 
 
 To traveftie whate'er they fay : 
 
 On every coaft the Mock-bird's known. 
 
 Nor is it wanting in this town ; 
 
 Indeed there's no fociety 
 
 That is from this intruder free ; 
 
 In every ftreet you may it trace, 
 
 As well as in the Market-Place ; 
 
 It 
 
 1
 
 r oi ] 
 
 CCDOCOOUIOODOOOCOoe* 
 
 It is indeed fo very clever, 
 Thro' every age it lives for ever. 
 A failor, who upon the fhroud 
 Sees mother Carey's curfed brood, 
 Thrufting his tongue along his jaw 
 Turns o'er his dale tobacco chaw, 
 And fwears with many an oath and curfe. 
 " E'er night the weather will be worfe : " 
 Poor Jack if unconfol'd by gin, 
 Cads many a weather-beaten grin, 
 As he perceives in windward fides 
 The clouds in black fucccflion rife. 
 But what's all this to us ? you fay, 
 A little patience have, I pray. 
 Tho' not unlike a foolifh gander, 
 From Dan to Bcerfheba I wander. 
 With fruitlefs toil and labour vain, 
 I'll warrant we'll get back again. 
 If you by chance fhould ever pop 
 Your head into a Tailor's {hop, 
 
 And
 
 [ '02 
 
 And fee the fight would make you ftare. 
 
 A groupe of Politicians there, 
 
 Who likewife are at times, by fits, 
 
 Sagr.cious iatirifts and wits, 
 
 Take to your heels and run away 
 
 There's danger always in delay. 
 
 If in a field you fee a bull 
 
 With a board faften'd on his fcull, 
 
 Think not the board the bull adorns, 
 
 'Tis to fecure you from his horns : 
 
 So do not wifh to peep behind it, 
 
 'Twill be far better not to mind it. 
 
 Thus when I fee a Critic's nob 
 
 Cafting it's eyes round for a job, 
 
 There's fomething monitory teaches, 
 
 'Twill not be fafe to make long fpecches.. 
 
 But ftealing paft with features glum 
 
 I hear and tremble at his hum, 
 
 'Till having once got paft the danger, 
 
 I feel as gay as honefl Ranger ; 
 
 'Why
 
 4 Why, Ranger, ' fober people fay, 
 ' Is a loofe fellow in a play ; 
 
 * And can you be fo void of fhame 
 ' In fuch a work a rake to name ? 
 4 Olud, I'm quite furpris'd, Mifs Prue, 
 1 Such fhocking (luff will never do ; 
 
 ' You'll find more promifmg prognoftics 
 
 * In RebuiTes and fmart Acroflics, 
 
 ' By which you might in verfe proclaim 
 ' The Letters of a Lady's name ; 
 
 * And if you undei flood your trade, 
 ' Give us at times a fmart Charade : 
 
 * Your fubjefts all are dull and frightful, 
 
 4 But things like thefe would be delightful : 
 ' If thus you would your manners mend, 
 'Perhaps you might not want a friend, 
 4 One who might help you in your need, 
 4 And that you know's a friend indeed.' 
 4 You know that every careful fludent 
 4 Should not be wittier than prudent, 
 
 Nor
 
 ' Nor hang himfelf with too much rope 
 
 * He'd better at the half-way flop, 
 
 ' And fit him down in eafe and quiet 
 
 * Than get intangled in a riot, 
 
 ' Be recompenc'd with kicks and blows, 
 With bafted ribs and bloody nofe, 
 ' Like a cow'd cur fhrink from the fcene. 
 ' And clap his tail his legs between.' 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 I'll fing of a maid whom I faw in the ftreet, 
 I'm fare fuch another you fcarcely can meet, 
 Attend my infiruftions, and they will pro- 
 claim 
 
 If rightly you take them, this Paragon's name: 
 If you add to the term of five-quarters of mea- 
 
 furc 
 Two-fifth parts of error, in which there's no 
 
 pleafure, 
 
 And clofe by a trite prepofition the fame, 
 'Tis a hundred to one but you guefs at her 
 name.
 
 TUESDAY, JANUARY 2 3 d. 1798. 
 
 Stultitia, invidia etfapientia defidia atque. 
 QL.-E GENUS. 
 
 Folly and malice, indolence and wit, 
 
 There' s fomelhing kerefure every ta/le to hit, 
 
 II I S ANOMALIAE is a difh 
 Compos'd of neither flefh nor fifh. 
 And there's no falfehood in averring 
 It is not made of good red herring ; 
 It is in fhort nor faint nor devil, 
 -A little good, a little evil : 
 
 P I do
 
 I do not like his parables, 
 
 Nor his Hendecaf yllables ; 
 
 By parallels I mean to fly, 
 
 The fimiles he brings in play, 
 
 With which he makes his garrifons 
 
 By horn-work of companions : 
 
 He's like a fellow fad afieep Lid, 
 
 Knows not a csrrot from a fheep's head, 
 
 And tho' fometimes he'll fpout and rant awa^ 
 
 Words fit to frighten Garagantua* 
 
 You'll find in them there's nothing arch 
 
 meant, 
 
 'Tis like roafl pig, all fnot and parchment. 
 For me I like thofe jolly fellows, 
 Who fmg old Rofe and burn th> bellows : 
 But as for that dull thing a Sonnet, 
 I cannot bear to think upon it ; 
 And thofc dry cramping dillert.itions, 
 
 Are poor pedantic proclamations, 
 
 Thar 
 
 * The Hero ef Rabelais' Romance.
 
 That cannot men of lenfe amufe, 
 
 Quite out of vogue and out of ufe : 
 
 Were he indeed a judge of dogs, 
 
 Or did he fpeculate in hogs ; 
 
 Could he advance the price of bacon, 
 
 Then his opinion might be taken : 
 
 Could he harangue 'midft clouds of fmoke 0, 
 
 In praife of Hutton's Oroonoko ; 
 
 Could he, invent a merry tale 
 
 By addling of his brains with ale ; 
 
 Or would he try in numbers lyric. 
 
 To write on gin a panegyric; 
 
 Or did there in his crazy block lie 
 
 As much good ferife as there's in Hackle}! 
 
 P the Hole, that ancient fon of Crifpin, 
 
 There might be wifdojn in his lifping ; 
 
 I'd lay Three-Halfpence out myfelf 
 
 To have his volume on my fhelf. 
 
 The Lilliputians who kept peftering 
 
 The great Man-mountain Quinbus Flejtrin, 
 
 And
 
 And faw him gafping like a Sea Gull, 
 
 Shouted aloud " Hzkinah Degul; " 
 
 The Giant p fing.as he lay, 
 
 With the fait dream fwept them away. 
 
 4 But what is all this noife and fuis, 
 
 { I pray you, mighty fir, to us ? 
 
 ' You are not mad enough to dream 
 
 ' You'll diown our wits iu fuch a dream i' 
 
 ' You in the mud may gape and flounder, 
 
 * But we have qualities much founder : 
 
 *Do you compare our wits to pigmies ? 
 
 'You'll find they are not gn;.t:>, but big flics, 
 
 ' And fome of them may chance to fting you, 
 
 ' I'm furc a merry peal they'll ring you.' 
 
 'T would caufe a devotee to grin, 
 If you fliould place a corking pin 
 With the point upwards, in His chair, 
 '1 would be uneafy fitting there : 
 
 Suppofe
 
 Jjuppoie a man they call Nat Wright,, 
 Who us'd to keep the w<itch at night. 
 Whom late I faw of thought quite full in , 
 In a done mortar pounding fulphur, 
 Should be employ'd by Juftice Warrant 
 To fcourge your back like a rogue errant, 
 Tho' you might think the dance was painful, 
 To Mailer Natty ; t would be gainful ; 
 Tho' you were fore in every briflle, 
 Natty compoiedly would whiftle. 
 Suppofe a fifherman has nick'd you, 
 And with dale ling or haddock trick'd you. 
 Tho' you look four, he blithe and gay 
 Will in his coble row away, 
 And think he's got fuperior fenfe, 
 From having chous'd you of your pence. 
 The farmer's wife who" fells her butter. 
 Will about icrits and taxes mutter ;
 
 If you difpute it's weight in ounces, 
 How furiouily fhe ftorms and bounces : 
 But mud thole fellows who fcrawl paper 
 Think thernfelves qualify'd to vapour? 
 They 're arrogant and overbearing, 
 And take delight themfelves in hearing. 
 'But pray what means this mighty fufs. 
 ' Or what the deuce is it to us ? 
 'You'd better be employ'd in labour, 
 
 * Than try to fcandalize your neighbour : 
 ' I'd fooner fwing a blatkimith's hammer, 
 *Or tofs about a pavior's rammer, 
 
 * Than like a blockhead fit inditing, 
 
 * To get a pot of ale by writing.' 
 
 Tho' you fhould treacle blend with muflard, 
 I think it would not make a cu(t":\! : 
 And vinegar, tho' mix'd with oil 
 Will never to a jelly boil : 
 
 Nor
 
 Nor will a marmalade of tripes 
 Prove a fpecific for the gripes : 
 Yet fure the points of artichokes 
 Are in the gullet prickly jokes. 
 What though a Tailor cabbage fed, 
 May give his thanks for daily bread, 
 And whilft the pilfering iheers he plies 
 Believes himfelf uncommon wife ; 
 Yet a fanatic preacher's nonfenfe 
 Caufcs a tremor in his conference, 
 'Till he beholds in dire furprife, 
 Old Belzebub before his eyes ; 
 And groans to think 't will be his fate 
 Sometime or other, foon or late, 
 In a hot brimftone pot to dwell, 
 Like his own cabbage, fent to Hell: 
 He feels a tranfient compunftion, 
 But will not therefore quit his funftion, 
 
 Knowing
 
 Knowing the parings of his cloth 
 Will ferve to feafon well his broth. 
 And I, who trefpafs on your time 
 "With tirefome profe and tedious rhymQ, 
 Correfted, put my ink-horn by, 
 And lay my pen afide to dry ; 
 Then fcratching my unfurnifh'd pate 
 Pray for more grace if 'ts not too late 
 'Alas,' you fay, ' Poor Reprobate.' 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 Since you importune me in verfe to declare, 
 
 The riame of a Nymph with whom few can 
 compare, 
 
 Firft take, what I'm fearful both you and I 
 want, 
 
 'Tis what our old Nurfcs wifh'd God might 
 us grant ; 
 
 Add next to the Sailor in Congrcve's fam'd 
 play, 
 
 (Who fings Buxom Joan, and who blufters a- 
 way) 
 
 The Mafculinc offspring of every fire ; 
 
 And then you'll comuleat the name you re- 
 quire.
 
 [ "3 j 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 15. 
 
 TUESDAY, JANUARY 3oth. 1798. 
 
 Crede Ali/ti, bene qiti tatuit, bent vixit, et intra 
 Fortunam debet qmfque ma.ne.rt fuam. 
 
 OVID IRIST. iii. 4. 25. 
 
 Tnijl me, he well has liv'd who liv'd rctir'd, 
 Who ne'er above his humble lot afpir'd, 
 And every onejhould drcumfiribe his mind 
 Within the bounds his fortune has aj/tgn'd. 
 
 have been the unfeafonable refle&i- 
 ons of the difappointed votaries of ambition, 
 in every age, when baffled in their cagernefs 
 of expeftation, and obftrufted in their pro- 
 jets of advancement ; experience compels 
 Q them
 
 them to pronounce thofe truths, they had fo 
 long affefted to difbelieve ; then ( like the 
 fallen courtier, the adulating Poet who has 
 (applied me with this day's motto) they fink 
 into fervile and enervating dejeftion of fpirit, 
 or by way of retaining fome confequence to 
 thcmfelvcs, arrogate from their very errors 
 the pretenfions of directing the conduft of 
 other people, as the prodigal who has fquan- 
 dered his fubflance, congratulates himfelf up- 
 on the knowledge of the world, which he has 
 acquired at the expence of his fortune and 
 conftitution, and fhines amidfl the yet unini- 
 tiated ftriplings, by the recital of the difficul- 
 ties from which his iubtlety and addrefs have 
 
 fo often extricated him. But I am widely 
 
 deviating from the coniideration of that The- 
 fis which I intended to make the principal 
 foundation of my prefent reflections, by con- 
 
 fidering
 
 r 
 
 Hucring abltraftcdly the fentiments of Ovid, 
 irrefpecUve of the writer of them. 
 
 To be contented with our own calling, that 
 is, chearfully to do our duty in that ftation of 
 life to which the circum fiances of our fitua- 
 tion require us to conform, is not merely a 
 moral, it is in fome meafure alib a religious 
 duty, at lean: it is a duty early inculcated by 
 the teachers of Religion, and which (were it 
 truly attended to) would fupcrfede the necef- 
 fity of any farther precept ; but it requires 
 fome more particular illuftration than can be 
 conveyed by general precept, and i& moft for- 
 cibly pointed out in its confequences by in- 
 
 ftances of familiar example. It is indeed 
 
 fo beaten a path that I am now treading, that 
 it is fcarcely poffible for me (if I inay be al- 
 lowed the ufe of metaphor) to avoid the ftep< 
 of my precurfors. 
 
 Of
 
 Of the advantages of innocent retirement 
 in preferving the mind free from the polluti- 
 ons of indifcriminate fociety, whole volumes 
 have been written already and diftnbuted to 
 the world, recommended by men eminent 
 for wifdom, and fanclified by others venera- 
 ble for piety. It is worth while here to flop 
 and enquire what good has been produced by 
 thefe endeavours : Have they diminifhed the 
 crimes of individuals ; or have they increafed 
 the comforts of the generality ? Have the 
 minds of men become more enlightened ; or 
 
 are their manners more improved ? Yes, 
 
 it may be truly anfwered, they arc in general 
 fo, though particular in fiances of atrocious 
 depravity continue to be numerous. 
 
 The general flate of mankind is improved 
 by that facilitated intercourfe which the re- 
 
 moteft Nations now find means to carry on 
 
 with
 
 [ "7 ] 
 
 ooeoooooooaooeoooM 
 
 with each other. Commerce, though per- 
 haps originally begun from motives of felnfh 
 views, has above every other medium of in- 
 tercourfe contributed to alleviate the wants, 
 and loften their ferocity. Hard fate of man, 
 that he has need of the motives of felfifhnefs 
 to prompt him to entertain fentiments of be- 
 nevolence ! I am not one of thofe defamers 
 of the human fpecies who refolve every paf- 
 fion into different modifications of felf love, 
 who deny the exiflence of charity, and affert 
 all our aftions have a tendency to felnfh gra- 
 tification : I believe that the liberal emott- 
 ons of a generous mind are emanations of that 
 pure fpirit with which it has plcafed the di- 
 vine Omnifcience to animate the children of 
 the dufl.
 
 I. CORINTHIANS, XIII. i 8. 
 
 Paraphrafcd. 
 
 JL HOUGH matchlefs eloquence adorn 'd 
 
 my tongue, 
 
 And from my lips angelic accents fpruug, 
 Vain would all thefe for my falvation prove. 
 Without the powerful attribute of Love, 
 My fleeting hours all ufelefsly would pr.fs, 
 Like tinkling Cymbals or like founding Brafs : 
 What tho' the gifts of Prophecy were mine, 
 All Myfteries and Science to divine ; 
 Tho' my ftrong faith could bid the moun- 
 tains move, 
 
 I yet am nothing, if 1 have not Love. 
 Tho' on the Poor my fubftance I beftow, 
 And give my body in the flames to glow. 
 Yet if in thoughts of Charity I fail, 
 How little would thofe fpecious works avail. 
 
 Love
 
 C 
 
 Love fuffereth long, Love is exceeding kind, 
 Love envies not, nor bears a fcornful mind, 
 Behaves not rudely, feeketh not her own, 
 Thinketh no ill, is not to anger prone, 
 Does not in deeds iniquftous rejoice, 
 But Truth, celeftial Truth is ftill her choice ; 
 All things (he bears, and all things fhe be- 
 
 lieves, 
 
 Hopes and endures, and quietly receives. 
 Unceafing Love for ever {hall prevail, 
 Tho' language ceafe, and Prophecies fhould 
 
 fail, 
 
 Tho' human fcience vanifh quite away 
 (Like morning mills before the folar ray). 
 
 REBUS-
 
 tttp.3 
 
 REBUS-ACROSTIC. 
 
 If from initial letters you would fee 
 
 A beauteous damfel's name, ufe thefe with 
 
 me : 
 
 Take firft the fubtlefl of the four-foot kind, 
 To this let next what mortals breathe, be 
 
 join'd ; 
 
 Then the firft ftage of life in order place, 
 And next the oppofite to fmoothnefs trace ; 
 That paflion- next which i eaibn's aid betrays, 
 And what a generous fpirit ne'er difplays, 
 Add the firft letter of a Grecian fcold 
 So may you foon this fair one's name behold. 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 Four fifths of the colour which naturaliftsfay 
 Is the only one Nature does really difplay, 
 To which add the obfolete word for a dwel- 
 ling , 
 
 There can then be no trouble my Rebus in 
 telling.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 16. 
 
 TUESDAY, FEBRAURY 6th. 1798. 
 
 JL HIS Fellow's turn'd a mere buffoon, 
 His ferious dulnefs ended foon ; 
 Indeed I'm not furpris'd at that, 
 He has not feufe to tatch a fprat ; 
 He is fo perfeftly a Geofe-cap, 
 His brains would never bait a moufe-trap, 
 One of the iuperficial fort, 
 Ten fuch would hardly make a M***. 
 Thefe fcribblers are, to fpeak what's true, 
 Upon the whole a vagrant crew : 
 
 R Siery,
 
 Skerry, as AZ'J cam legends fay, 
 Fed Tygers at Trincomaley ; 
 And AnomaUae well we know 
 Was fed on Chow-Chow* at 
 A man may know, yet be no witch, 
 Brimftone and lard will cure the itch ; 
 But, roufing from this waking dream, 
 Let us purfae another theme ; 
 And for our readers let us try 
 What woeful fluff we can fupply: 
 I hope there's neither Whig nor Tory "V 
 -Will be offended with my ftory, > 
 
 Tho' dull as that of jfacky Nory. j 
 
 Once at St. Lucar Barrameda, 
 A place, where if you chance to need a 
 Pricft, you may eafily find twenty, 
 Ecclefiaflicks arc in plenty ; 
 
 I knew 
 
 * Refufe, Offal, Food of the worjlfort.
 
 t 
 
 1 knew a Friar call'd Tom Perrin, 
 (I think his name I do not err in) 
 This Tom although he wore a hood 
 Was a plain lad of manners good ; 
 Indeed to fet the matter right, 
 Ke was no more than Acolyte, 
 A fort of journey-jobbing prieft, 
 Who waits upon the majier btaji^ 
 Who holds the Ritual and PfalUrr, 
 And lays the Pyx upon the. Altar : 
 And lighting all the tapers round. 
 Stoops his fhav'd noddle to the ground -, 
 When chearful with his morning gbfs 
 The bloated prieft performs the Mafs, 
 Then Tommy with the cenfor goes 
 And fumigates his pontiff nofc. 
 This Tom a wond'rous tale would tell 
 About a Virgin in a Well, 
 
 That
 
 [ "4 '3 
 
 That was indeed a Virgin good, 
 Which might be true, for (he was wood, 
 And not compos'd of flefh and blood. 
 She had lain there a thoufand year, 
 Having (as I the (lory hear) 
 From Moorifh ruffians fled, for fear 
 They fhould rcfpeft not her Divinity, 
 But aft a rape on her virginity ; 
 And yet her 'kerchief and her ruffles, 
 Her petticoats and her pantouffles, 
 Were full as cleanly and as neat 
 As you can buy in Monmouth ftrcct 
 Now Tom confider'd this fo odd 
 He thought the miracle from God, 
 Whilft I, (a wicked might at Icjij 
 With 110 finall pains a laugh fupprcfl. 
 And yet this Tom though fupcrftitious, 
 Could fee the Spanijk wives were vicious 
 * There's many a fandificd Signora,' 
 Says he, who worfhips Madam Flora.'
 
 12 5 J 
 
 'O pray' faid I, 'don't found that trumpet^ 
 
 * \V hy, Flora was a common {trumpet ! * 
 But Tom went on, 'There's our Ritjina 
 
 ' Whom you efteem an Infantina, 
 
 * That black-ey'd Catalonian wench 
 ' Can tell a falmon from a tench ; 
 1 Nor think your fine SeviUtana* 
 'A fpotlefs vot'refs of Diana, 
 
 ' Her beauty is deriv'd from paint, 
 
 ' And (he is inwardly no faint. ' 
 
 'Pray Tom^ faid I, 'don't me perplex, 
 
 'I hate to fatirife the fex, 
 
 4 And had much rather they'd deceive me, 
 
 *"Than do them wrong, you may believe me: 
 
 'I'd doff, if I were you, my frock, 
 
 ' And let the hair grow on my block.' 
 
 'You think,' faid he, ' we have no wives, 
 
 ' And therefore lead unfocial lives, 
 
 'You'rt 
 * A female native of Seville.
 
 4 You're wrong ; there is no company 
 1 In which we may not welcome be.' 
 
 My readers ciy, ' Where does this tend ? 
 'This tale will never have an end ; 
 ' Nor has it any drift or meaning, 
 
 * 'Tis of the fellow's brains the gleaning : 
 
 ' His thoughts run rambling here and there, 
 
 ' (Indeed it's no great matter where) ; 
 
 ' 1 1 is wits are gone to gather wool, 
 
 ' And leave a vacuum in his fcull ; 
 
 ' And that my fimilc may flrike, 
 
 ' His head and pockets are alike, 
 
 ' I mean in point of garniture, 
 
 * They're fimilar I you allure ; 
 
 * By this I only would exprefs 
 
 ' That both arc full of emptinefs : 
 
 * What have we here ? an Injh Bull, 
 
 * But mod ir.fufferably dull, 
 
 ' 'Tis like the reft of his pretences 
 
 * To aim at wit and lofc his fenfes ; { He
 
 ' He fhoots at random in the dark, 
 
 ' Falls fhort, or goes beyond the mark, 
 
 ' And though he may fucceed in teazing, 
 
 ' Can never find the point of pleafmg : 
 
 ' I knew a porter call'd Gohghtly 
 
 ' Who was a hundred times more fprightly. * 
 
 But having almoft fill'd my paper, 
 
 There's not much room for further vapour, 
 
 Which I may venture to prefume 
 
 Will caufe no one to fret or fume ; 
 
 Indeed if it could raife a fmilc, 
 
 Uneafy minutes to beguile, 
 
 'Tis furely to be highly treated, 
 
 Of thoughts tormenting to be cheated ; 
 
 We blefs the thief who fteals away, 
 
 The cares that on our quiet prey, 
 
 Whilft he who probes the wounds we feel. 
 
 Although his bufmefs be to heal, 
 
 Gives us fuch pain, 'tis two to one, 
 
 But twenty times we wifh him gone. 
 
 Like
 
 (**] 
 
 Like a French Harlequin* we (lickle, 
 Ourfelves to merriment to tickle, 
 And Satisfied with the delufion, 
 Think : ferioufnefs a dull intrufion 5 
 Smile at the images we raife 
 in fe!f conceit to our own praife; 
 Difcovering by a new invention, 
 That we do all with good intention, 
 Ourfelves of felfifhnefs acquif, . 
 And .quickly each excufe dni. 
 
 CHARADE. 
 
 My fiqfl is an obftraction reckon'd, 
 Half a nut's core coinpos'd my fecond ; 
 My whole will form a Lady's name, 
 Which you may eafily proclaim. 
 
 * Harlequin tickling kimfelf into laughter is a 
 well-known piece qf\\h in the French Theatre.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 17. 
 
 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY i3th. 1798. 
 
 Subtrahit hcecfantem torta vertiginejluftus. 
 Ultima qua: Paeto voxque diefqu.tju.it. 
 
 PROPERT. L. III. E. 4. 
 
 H' 'hilftfpeaking thus the eddy fuck'd him down, 
 And his lajl words and tatejl day were known. 
 
 U'-p 
 
 1 HOU {halt not fwim againfl the 
 dream," fays the adage, and I fhall' without 
 reluftance comply with the admonition con- 
 tained in it, and defift from any further at- 
 tempt to obtrude thefe papers upon the pub- 
 lic attention, fince the Public deems them, 
 
 unworthy
 
 unworthy of its notice ; and though this con- 
 lequence was eafy to have been forefeen, and 
 was in reality predicted to be the certain re- 
 iult of this injudicious undertaking, injudi- 
 cious, as made by one who from former ex- 
 periment ought to have been confciousof the 
 inadequacy of his limited abilities to excite 
 attention or awaken curiofity : Yet he was 
 eafily induced by the perfuafions of well- 
 meaning, but miftaken acquaintance (fuch is 
 the influence of felf-love), to venture to in- 
 cur the fevered of all cenfures, negleft and 
 contemptuous farcafm, without chance of 
 any eventual compenfation, without hope of 
 acquiring reputation, without the moft dif 
 tant profpeft of obtaining pecuniary recom- 
 penfe. A work commenced under circum- 
 ftances fo inaufpicious foreboded no fortunate 
 termination in its conclufion. The partiality 
 
 of
 
 [ '3* 3 
 
 of -Friendfhip inciting him to literary enter- 
 prize has already more than once engaged 
 the writer of the foregoing fheets in the in- 
 tricacies of a difagreeable and perplexing di- 
 lemma : 
 
 Nor had I thus deplor'd inglorious days, 
 Nor dij appointment would fo fad appear, 
 
 Had I ne'er known the flattering voice of praife, 
 Nor to th' unmeaning l 'Euge" lent mine ear. 
 
 But it is thofe errors which are not yet irre- 
 parable that we fhould endeavour to correct, 
 ;md not exhauft ourfelvcs in unavailing ef- 
 forts to recover what time and diftance, or 
 other circumftances, may have rendered ir 
 retrievable by refipifcence : Of time there 
 can be no retrogreffion ; though the ardour 
 of our imagination may often anticipate futu- 
 rity by vifions of fancied enjoyment, and 
 dreams of ideal diftrefs, yet we are all fo in- 
 ftinftively convinced of the impoffibility of 
 
 recalling
 
 C 
 
 recalling the paft, that the moft fanguine ima- 
 gination never indulges in the delufiv cx- 
 peclation of it ; it is not fo with the advanc- 
 ing fcenes of futurity, which fcem preparing 
 to meet us : Upon thefe vifions the humr.n 
 mind expatiates with the eagerncis of hope. 
 or furveys them with the fhudderingsofaver- 
 fion : The pad is no more, the prcfent paf- 
 ics whilft we name it : It is the future then 
 to which of confequcnce the recollcftior, of 
 humanity muft be directed, through the wind- 
 ings of doubtfulr.cfs and the wanderings of 
 error, the folicitudes of anxiety, the ardours 
 of defirc, the cmbarraffments of fear, und 
 the evils attctidant upon imbecility. Indeed 
 our whole continuance upon this nether fpherc, 
 if we eftimate it rightly, ought to be conli- 
 dercd merely as a temporary fcene of prepa- 
 xatory probation neccflary for us to pafs 
 
 through, by the immutable decrees of an 
 
 eternal
 
 f 33 1 
 
 eternal and fuperintending Providence, i,c?- 
 fore we can attain to that purified ftate of per- 
 manent felicity, which that beneficent Pro- 
 vidence, the Great Author of Nature, has 
 prepared as the reward of virtue, in the ple- 
 nitude of his wifdom and the immenfity of 
 his power. Thefe reflections may perhaps 
 feem too ferious to be introduced amidd thff 
 defultory matter cafually fcattcred in a paper 
 of literary amufement ; but if they fhould 
 happily prove the means of giving energy to 
 reftitude of thought in the minds of the ve- 
 ry few who will read them, the writer will 
 not think his time and ink bcftowed in vain. 
 Swayed by no motives of vanity, prompted 
 by no views of intercft, he unreluclantly 
 withdraws to that friendly, though contraft- 
 ed circle of retirement, where alone he can 
 expeft the humble productions of his pen to 
 
 be tolerated by the indulgence of amity. 
 
 He
 
 He feels no rancour, he chcrifhes no fpleen, 
 and indulges no reientment ; he utters no 
 complaint, and anfvvcrs no reproaches. Pie 
 laments his inability to pleafe, but finds fome 
 confolation in the reflection that he is not 
 bound to continue to offend, but may return 
 quiet and unnoticed to his original infignifi- 
 cancy, having added one more to the many 
 and repeated proofs he had antecedently 
 known, of the little reliance to be placed on 
 expreffions of approbation, and the fervor 
 
 of cafual applaufe. What is at firft fight a 
 
 jBOvelty, is upon a fecond view a familiar 
 profpett, and probably at the third look af- 
 fumes a difgufting appearance ; fo eafily is 
 cloyed the mind of man ; far more caprici- 
 ous in his temper than mutable in the tempe- 
 rature of his body, which yet is often affect- 
 ed by the variations of the atmof^here. ; nd 
 
 liable to uiic^ie by an inconfiderable change 
 
 of
 
 C'35] 
 
 $f raiment. Why fliould we complain df 
 other people, who feel in our own perfons 
 inconfiftencies for which we can account in 
 no other manner, than by attributing them to 
 human frailty ? Why fhould we be uneafy 
 to find that the tafte, the amufements, and 
 inclinations of others, accord not with our 
 own, who are fo feldom confident with our- 
 felves ? The following valedictory addrefe 
 will not detain the reader ; 
 
 Idle fcribbler pray give o'er, 
 Try to teize the world no more ; 
 Think not, thou conceited elf, 
 To plesfe any but thyfelf : 
 Hide the follies of thy brain. 
 All thy nonlenfe is in vain v 
 Ccaic the paper to defile, 
 And for other ufes fpoil ; 
 Know that Fortune hjs decreed 
 Thou in Nothing fhall fucceed, 
 At this time 'tis highly fit, 
 Such impertinence to quit. 
 
 "A wife
 
 .J 
 
 [ 136] 
 
 I " A wife man," {ays the Italian Proverb, 
 <; changes his mind frequently ; a fool ne- 
 ver will." I do not pretend to aflume the 
 former appellation, and fhall fcarcely be 
 liable to the imputation of the fecond from 
 inflexibility. In the former part of this 
 efTay, the reader will obferve me to have 
 almoft come to a conclufion of concluding 
 fcxcufe the pun) thefe Eflays : A variety 
 of circumftances have induced me, even in 
 
 . the fhort interval of writing, to indulge in 
 the inclination of continuing it, at lead of 
 trying to protract the term of its final cefla- 
 tion to a more diftant period, if the public 
 attention cncournge me fo to do.^ 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 To one-half of the thief who by force ftcals 
 
 from you, 
 
 ('Tis a comical mode of beginning 'tis true,) 
 If you add three-fourths of a mufical lay, 
 Twill the name of an elegant Lady difplay.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 18. 
 
 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 2oth. 1798. 
 
 A Shall prefcnt for the entertainment of fuch 
 of my Readers as may be favourable to Scrip- 
 tural Poetry, the following Verfion of what 
 is faid by many learned men of high reputa- 
 tation, to be the moft ancient Poetical Piece 
 extant : It is the Song of MOSES and of MI- 
 RIAM, which in triumphant exultation they 
 offered to the Lord Jehovah, the Cod of If- 
 rael, upon the fhores of the Arabian Gulph, 
 after their miraculous deliverance from the 
 hofls of PHARAOH and the bondage of the 
 T EGYP-
 
 .J 
 
 [ 138 3 
 
 EGYPTIANS: And perhaps in loftincfs of 
 imagery and fublimity of expreflion it has 
 never been exceeded by any later compofiti- 
 on, though I am confcious that it muft un- 
 dergo great debafement in being paraphrafed 
 by one who prefumes not to flatc himfelf as 
 equal to the talk. 
 
 EXODUS, XV. Chap. . V. 
 
 JL HEN ISRAEL'S tribes with MOSES homage paid 
 To Great Jehovah's mighty Power, and faid ; 
 I to the Lord will raife my chearful fong, 
 For to his triumph glorious ftrains belong ; 
 He has his power on horfe and rider mown, 
 Into th' o'erwhelmning fea them both has thrown : 
 The Lord's my ftrength, the fubjeft of my lays, 
 My great falvation and my theme of praife ; 
 He is my God, his dwelling I'll prepare, 
 My Father's God and I'll his praife declare : 
 
 The- "
 
 [ '39 ] 
 
 Tlie Lord himfclf 's a captain of the war, 
 THE LORD'S his mighty name, renown'd afar; 
 He in the fea immers'd proud PHARAOH'S boafts, 
 His chieftains, chariots, and embattled hofts ; 
 Sunk all their prowefs in th' abyfs profound. 
 In the Red Sea his chofcn captains drown'd ; 
 O'er their proud heads the watery depths did fweli. 
 Like a thrown ftone they to the bottom fell : 
 
 Lord ! thy right hand is in power renown'd, 
 
 It crufh'd thy foes and did their power confound ; 
 
 Yes, in thine all-excelling greatnefs, thou 
 
 Didft make thy mightieft adverfaries bow, 
 
 Thy wrath went forth and their deftruction doom'd, 
 
 Like parched ftubble they were quick confum'd ; 
 
 At the dread blaft which from thy noflrils blew, 
 
 In heaps the congregated waters grew : 
 
 Erel in pillar'd heaps the billows flood, 
 
 Thou even in Ocean's heart congeal'd the flood ; 
 
 1 (cry'd the foe, elate with tumid pride), 
 Will chafe, o'ertake them, and the fpoil divide. 
 
 'Till my heart's luft on them be fatisfy'd : j 
 
 I wili
 
 [MO] 
 
 I will unfhcath the far-defti oying fteel, 
 
 And they the vengeance of my arm fhall feel. 
 
 Thou with thy wind, thy mighty wind ! didft blow. 
 
 The fea immers'd them its dark depths below, 
 
 O'er them the fai -extending billows fpread, 
 
 They in the mighty waters funk like lead. 
 
 O where, O God ! mall we thine equal fee, 
 
 What other God can be compar'd with thee :' 
 
 O who like thee in holinefc rcnown'd ! 
 
 So prais'd for dealing wonders all around : 
 
 Thou didft O Lord, thy dread right arm e\!ciu'.. 
 
 The yawning Earth did flrait her bofom rend, . 
 
 They did abforbed in the chafm dcfccnd. 
 
 Thou thy redccm'd didft foith in mercy lead, 
 
 For them thy holy habitation fpread, 
 
 And with thy flrength lecur'd from harm and dread. 
 
 The trembling nations with clifmay fhall hear, 
 
 And PALESTJNA (hake with guilty fear ; 
 
 In chill amazement ZOOM'S dukes mail freeze, 
 
 Whilft MOAB'S trembling chiefs their dukedom fcize; 
 
 CANAAN'S domes fhall find a quick decay, 
 
 And all her numerous nations melt away ; 
 
 Dire
 
 Dire fear and terror mall their tribes furroand. 
 
 They fall like filent (lones upon the ground ; 
 
 Until thy people are from perils free, 
 
 Thy people Lord, redeem'd and bought by thec. 
 
 Thou, mighty Lord ! fhall bring thy people in, 
 
 In thine own mountains their repofe begin, 
 
 Even in the place thou for thy manfion made. 
 
 The fancluary thine own hands have laid. 
 
 The Lord himfelf his kingdom mall maintain, 
 
 He fhall for ever, and for ever reign ; 
 
 For Pharoah's horfe, his chariot, and his train ~\ 
 
 Of martial horfemen, funk beneath the main, V 
 
 The Lord on them brought the fea waves again ; j 
 
 But ISRARL'S fons by power Almighty led, 
 
 As if on dry land, walk'd the feas deep bed. 
 
 Then Miriam, Aaron's hallowed fifttr came, 
 
 Her glowing bofom felt prophetic flame ; 
 
 The trembling Timbrel quiver'd in her hand 
 
 (She led the chorus of the vocal band) ; 
 
 Attendant damfels made the 1 imbrel found, 
 
 And with reponfive dances bett the ground : 
 
 Thus
 
 Thus Miriam anfwer'd, Sing in grateful lays 
 To God's dread Majefty the hymn of praiie ; 
 The fong of matchlefs triumph, for 'twas He, 
 O'ei whclmn'd both Hoi fe and Rider in the fea. 
 
 HABAKUK, C. III. V. 37. 
 
 X? ROM Teman God's ethereal brightneis 
 
 fhonc, 
 
 From Paran's mountain came the Holy ONE ; 
 The Heaven's were covcr'd with his Glory's 
 
 blaze, 
 
 And all the earth replenifh'd with his praifc. 
 His vaft effulgence like the beams of light, 
 In cor rufcat ions {truck the dazzled fight ; 
 From his right hand the crefcent horns arofe, 
 Which did'tlie fecrcts of his power difclofe. 
 The Fcflilence his dread proccflion led, 
 And burning coals before his feet were fpread. 
 
 He
 
 [ M3] 
 
 lie flood and meafur'd earth's remote ft bound, 
 He faw and fundercd far the nations round ; 
 The everlafting mountains fcatter'd wide, ~\ 
 The hills perpetual bow'd their lofty pride, V 
 For everlaftingly his ways abide. ) 
 
 Through Cujkan's tents I faw affliction fpread. 
 And Midian's curtains fhake with guilty dread. 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 Of Great Apollo's mother take the name, 
 (I mean th' initial letter of the fame,) 
 Of him whofe mufic rais'd the Theban Wall ? 
 And Her's whom we the firft of Mufes call ; 
 (Nor Her's who dictates ftrains of tender 
 
 love) 
 
 That ftage of life when we its paflion prove : 
 From thefe firft letters in arrangement jbin'd, 
 You may a pleafing damfel's furname find. 
 
 AIRS.
 
 t M4] 
 AIRS, from the SPANISH. 
 
 In the DEVIL UPON STICKS. 
 
 Ardo y lloro Jin fojjifgo : 
 Llorando y ardiendo tanto, 
 
 Qui ni el llanto apago el fuego t 
 Ni el fuego confumo el llanto. 
 
 IMITATED. 
 
 IN never-dying fire I burn, 
 With never-ceafing tears I mourn ; 
 Nor will thefe tears which fill mine eyes 
 To quench this wafting flame fuffice, 
 Nor will that lingering fire fupply 
 Sufficient heat thofe tears to dry. 
 
 In GIL BI.AS. 
 Ay de mi ! un ano felice 
 Par ere un fop to ligero ; 
 Peroftn dvha un in ft ante 
 Es unjiglo di tormtnte. 
 
 IMITATED. 
 
 AH, woe is me ! a year of plcafure flies 
 Swift as the light breeze pa fling o'er the plain, 
 Ah, woe is me! when foi rows' ftorms arife, 
 Each gloomy moment is an age of pain.
 
 r MS] 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 19. 
 
 TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 2;th. 1798. 
 
 JL HOUGH 'tis no faculty of mine, 
 Who am by Nature faturnine, 
 To have that art, which cares beguiling, 
 Seduces people into fmiling ; 
 And though our fcantinefs of brains 
 We can't remove by taking pains, 
 Yet, there's no caufe but I may try, 
 Some fource of laughter to fupply : 
 I do not make pretence to wit, 
 I know I've but fmall fhare of it : 
 
 U I do
 
 I do not wifh with vap'ring heat. 
 
 To get upon a lofty feat, 
 
 And like a Jackdaw on a fteeple, 
 
 Chatter unnotic'd to the people, 
 
 Nor wifh to hazard fuch a dread joke 
 
 As might perhaps get me my head broke ; 
 
 But I would make my ftrains amufing, 
 
 And fuch as might be worth perufing ; 
 
 Therefore I hope that thofe who read, 
 
 Though I be dull, will not fecede ; 
 
 There's room to hope that men of fenfe, 
 
 Will not at trifles take offence, 
 
 And as for blockheads, when I find them. 
 
 'Tis ftill my maxim, not to mind them : 
 
 (Poor Anomahae, fpeaking thus, 
 
 Thou art indeed Anomalous ! ) 
 
 For 'tis become a general rule 
 
 Throughout to idolize a fool, 
 
 And deck'd in lace adore an afs, 
 
 As Ifrad's tribes their calf of brafs : 
 
 But
 
 [ M7 J 
 
 But this is common-place, you'll fay ~\ 
 
 The vulgar fcandal of the day, V 
 
 The tafk which others throw away. ) 
 
 It may be fo and who fo clever 
 As to invent new things for ever : 
 But though our fubjefts may be known, 
 The words my friend arc all our own ; 
 ~\Vc would not fteal, and cannot borrow. 
 Our credit's fmall, much to our iorrow. 
 And being thus from aid precluded. 
 No foreign ware can be intruded : 
 So what you fee to praife or blame, 
 Believe the writer is the fame ; 
 He fcorns to lurk behind a tree, 
 And peeping fay- -it was not me : 
 But wifhing much as ever man did, 
 Throughout his trifles to be candid, 
 Wifhing fome fmall applaufe to gain 
 Himfelf, and others entertain, 
 
 He
 
 [ M8 J 
 
 He hunts for only lawful game. 
 And thinks it neither fin nor fhame. 
 To laugh a little now and then, 
 At the vain fooleries of men ; 
 Nor, partially, himfelf to fpare, 
 Convinc'd that he too has his fhare, 
 And acts, like inconfiflcnt elf, 
 In contradiction to himfelf : 
 And tho' he try, not without trouble, 
 To pleafe the Town in rhyming double- 
 There is a difference, this a faft is, ' 
 Between his principles and practice. 
 But let us leave him and his rhyme, 
 We've wafted on him too much time, 
 To fhow our learning in Mythology, 
 Produce a fable for apology. 
 
 A 
 
 Starling had been long immur'd, 
 In various cages grief endur'd, 
 
 Pin'd
 
 [ M9l 
 
 Pin'd o'er his folitary (late, 
 
 Without a partner or a mate ; 
 
 For ever plaintive was his note, 
 
 For only forrow fwell'd his throat , 
 
 At length by accident fct free, 
 
 Again he gainM his liberty. 
 
 Direft his native woods he fought, 
 
 (There his firft artlefs ftrains were taught.) 
 
 He every foreign tongue difdain'd, 
 
 His firft fimplicity regain'd ; 
 
 And fure, fays he, I'll range no more, 
 
 None vex the harmlefs and the poor. 
 
 Awhile he try'd in leifure bleft, 
 
 In cairn tranquility to reft : 
 
 But fcon the Magpye and the Jay, 
 
 Had fix'd upon him for their prey ; 
 
 The Gander and the hiffing Goofe, 
 
 On him let all their fury loofe ; 
 
 The Cock in regimentals crow'd, 
 
 The hooting Plowlet fcream'd aloud ; 
 
 The
 
 C .5o J 
 
 The Parrot, clad in gold and green, 
 Squall'd 'Let not that poor rogue be fcen." 
 
 The Starling by this mob furrounded, 
 
 Was quickly filenc'd and confounded; 
 
 lie found his efforts were in vain, ^ 
 
 But labour loft and bootlefs pain. V 
 
 And therefore foon reprefs'd his drain; j 
 
 His parting farewell thus he fpokc, 
 
 (Then from the crowd tumultuous broke) 
 
 ' He furely has a mind unfound, 
 
 ' Who tries to tread poetic ground, 
 
 1 Who will not join the fervile crew, 
 
 ' That ftavifh. ignorance purfue; 
 
 At him fhall envy fhake her fnake, 
 
 ' At him fhall pride wry faces make ; 
 
 * At him fhall avarice fnarl and grin, 
 
 ' And folly ftun with fenfelcfs din ; 
 
 ' His poifon'd dart fhall malice throw, 
 
 *' And lay th' ill deftin'd fuffcrer low ; 
 
 * There
 
 [ 5 1 
 
 ' There funk beneath opprefiion's ftream, 
 
 ' He never {hall renew his theme ; 
 
 ' Immers'd beneath oblivion's tide, 
 
 ' The lapfe of time his name fhall hide.' 
 
 SONG. 
 
 IMPROMPTU. 
 
 E, 
 
 iNVELOP'D in night's dufky gloom, 
 No longer thy features I trace, 
 No longer diflinguifh the bloom 
 Of the crimfon fuffufmg thy face : 
 
 But yet " in the eye of the mind," 
 
 Can. fancy thy beauties furvey, 
 For Love whom the Poets call blind, 
 
 Regards not the light of the day. 
 
 EPIGRAM.
 
 L 'a* j 
 
 EPIGRAM. 
 
 Irtis would fain a wealthy man be thought, 
 \Vhilft Giles complains he is not worth a 
 
 groat ; 
 
 By different methods each would gain his end, 
 This wants to borrow, and that fears to lend. 
 
 Another. 
 
 In Marriage multiplying cares annoy, 
 Unfocial Celibacy knows no joy; 
 On this Tide ScyUa's threat'ning rocks appear. 
 On that we terrible Charybdis fear. 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 Since you in numbers wifh me to declare, 
 And terms appropriate an excelling fair ; 
 Take firft the river which by Granta glides, 
 (Granta, wheie many a learned man refides,) 
 Four-levcnths of one who in an army's train, 
 Or digs the mine, or fills with mounds the 
 
 plain; 
 Thefe join'd. will defignate a Maid, whofe 
 
 charms 
 Fill many a youthful bofom with alarms.
 
 '53 3 
 
 000000 0000 C< 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 20. 
 
 TUESDAY, MARCH 6th. 1798. 
 
 Unde memoria dignnm mihi videtuv effe a Stilpone Me- 
 garenfi philofopho datum refponfum. Demetrius enim 
 
 ?uum eos qui in urbe erant, in fervitutem abduxillet ; 
 ^el fub corona vendidiflet) deinde folo earn asquaffet, 
 Stilponem num quid amiliilet intei rogavit. Turn ille, 
 Xequaquam profecto, inquit, nam virtus bello fpolium 
 effc non poteft. 
 
 PLUTARCH. 
 
 STILPO the PHILOSOPHER, 
 
 AND 
 
 DEMETRIUS-POL 10 RCETES. 
 
 NOT 
 
 all the gems that in Golconda glow. 
 Not all the wealth that Fortune can beflow, 
 Can place mankind beyond the reach of fate, 
 
 Virtue alone is permanent eflate : 
 
 U Virtue
 
 [ 1-54 7 
 
 Virtue defies the Defpot's dire decree, 
 The wife and good are (tho' in fetters) free.. 
 
 Demetrius for his various fortune fam'd, 
 Whom Hiftory Poliorrftes has n^m'd. 
 Becaufe with novel arts and engines new 
 His martial {kill did ftrongeft towns fubduc ; 
 His conquering armies o'ei Achaia led, 
 And fill'd the neighboring provinces wjth 
 
 dread : 
 
 To flop his couife in v?in Mtgara ftiove, 
 To fhameful flight her routed bands he drove \ 
 Around her walls encircling trenches drew, 
 Eras'd her bulwarks and her towns o'erthrew; 
 To flavery doom'd from their dear country far, 
 The haplefs victims of the rage of war, 
 With gufhing tears their mournful lot deplore, 
 And quit their dwellings to return no more : 
 Rcmorfclcfs war in overwhelming rage 
 Heeds not the plea of innocence or age. 
 
 Ye
 
 L '55 ] 
 
 Ye daring minds who to the battle's ftorm, 
 Arrange the iq jadrons, and the phalanx 
 
 form, 
 
 Can wild ambition your kmd feelings quelL 
 Each finer impulle of the foul repel ; 
 Elated can ye hear the clarion's found 
 When licens'd murder deals deflruction round; 
 How can ye tyrants hear the parent's groan, 
 And feel no pity for the orphan's moan ? 
 
 Demetrius oft had heard of Stilpo's name, 
 (Although the Sage had never courted fame,) 
 Stilpo the wife who at Megara born, 
 With genuine worth Megara did adorn : 
 A meflenger was foon dcfpatch'd to bring 
 This unafTuming man before the king, 
 Who expeditioufly returning went 
 Follow'd by Stilpo to the royal tent. 
 
 With decent firmnefs and becoming grac 
 The mild Philofopher furvey'd the place ; 
 
 Unmov'd
 
 Unmov'd he heard the din of arms around, 
 The fhout of triumph and the clarion's found ; 
 On a bright golden throne the king reclin'd, 
 A radiant wreath around his temple twin'd, 
 Th' imperial fceptre glitter'd in his hand, 
 The fhining fignal of fupreme command ; 
 His filken robes with livelicft purple glow'd, 
 And at his nod obfequious princes bow'd : 
 *Stilpo,' exclaim'd the king, 'thy lofs declare, 
 ' Speak, and Demetrius (hall that lofs repair , ' 
 With calm compofure Stilpo thus rejoin'd. 
 His honeft fpeech evinc'd his tranquil mind. 
 ' Nothing I've loft, for virtue is a prey 
 ' A plundering foldier never takes awry : 
 ' The ftarry circlet that adorns thy brow, 
 ' Thy numerous vaffals that in homage bow ; 
 ' Fictitious grandeur which thou mufl refign, 
 ' Extraneous pomp which may not long be 
 ' thine : 
 
 'Nor
 
 C 157] 
 
 Nor this retards th' appointed hour of death, 
 ' Nor that one moment can prolong thy breath ; 
 
 * Empire and power are but an empty boaft, 
 
 ; That is not wealth which may by chance be 
 < loft.' 
 
 The king perceiv'd a tranfitory gleam 
 Of fa c red Truth's irradiating beam, 
 Abafh'd he laid his fhining fceptre down, 
 And from his forehead took the fparkling 
 
 crown : 
 
 But paffions fierce abforb'd the lenient fire 
 Philofophy endeavour'd to infpire ; 
 Now all-voluptuous tir'd of war's alarms, 
 In Stratonice's or in Lamia's arms, 
 Diffolv'd in floth he pafs'd his languid days, 
 Sick of renown and overcharg'd with praife; 
 In wanton revels and in loofe delights 
 ( Lafcivious pleafures ! ) he confum'd the 
 
 nights. 
 
 Arous'd
 
 [ '58 ] 
 
 Arous'd at length again he Fortune dares, 
 Dif plays his fbndards and for fight prepares, 
 But foon the viclim of his reftlels pride, 
 The captur'd king in foreign bondage died. 
 
 LUKE XVIII. V. 2427. 
 
 PARAPHRASED. 
 
 w 
 
 " HILST foft compaflion fill'd his 
 
 blamelefs mind, 
 
 Thus fpoke the gentle Saviour of mankind, 
 How hard it is for worldly minds to move 
 From earthly things and tread the plains 
 
 above ! 
 
 How hard it is for men poflfefs'd of wealth 
 To feek what works the foul's eternal health! 
 \V ith greater eafe might loaded Camels try 
 To pafs their burthens through the needle's 
 
 eve ; 
 
 Than
 
 C 59] 
 
 Than thofe encumber'd here with pomp and 
 
 ftate 
 
 To pafs the bounds of Heaven's eternal gate. 
 His eager hearers inftantly rejoin'd 
 What man, O LORD! can then falvation 
 
 find. 
 
 R, 
 
 IMITATED FROM 
 
 THE GREEK COMIC POET 
 PHILEMON. 
 
 .ICHES to numerous evils are expos'd, 
 Chiefly to hatred, envy, and abufe, 
 Full oft with toilfome bufineffes enclos'd, 
 Which troubles and uneafmefs produce ; 
 
 And then the rich man feiz'd by fudden death. 
 
 His fubftance leaves Tor others' luxury : 
 Let me content with little draw my breath ;- 
 
 By wanting wealth, from moleftation free : 
 
 For Mill the poor man this advantage gains, 
 He lives exempted from fuperior pains.
 
 [ 1*0] 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 Think not life's beaten paths produce fuch 
 
 flowers 
 
 As grow fpontaneous in fequefter'd bowers ; 
 If you would fhow a Maid who void of pride, 
 Docs in domeftic duty goodnefs hide, 
 Firft take (I fear my verfe will turn toprofe). 
 What's always found attendant on the Rofc ; 
 Then take what's ftill contrafted to the Dale. 
 You cannot well in your conjecture fail. 
 
 EPIGRAM, 
 
 [ Imitated from MARTIAL.] 
 
 True, you are rich, and young, and fair, 
 To contradict it none will dare ; 
 But whilft you thus employ your tongue. 
 You're neither rich, nor fair, nor young.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 21. 
 
 TUESDAY, MARCH i 3 th. 1798. 
 
 Morofophi moriones pejjirrd. 
 
 VET. ADAG. 
 
 T; 
 HOSE that are neither hawk nor buzzard^ 
 
 (To find a fit rhyme is to us hard.) 
 A hundred times are more perplexing 
 And far more troublefome and vexing, 
 Than thcfe poor undcfigning tools, 
 Who are denominated Fools: 
 The firft with felf-conceit elated, 
 Find by no rules their pride abated, 
 And flrutting like a Crow in gutter, 
 On every fide their nonfenfe fputter; 
 And thofe who fall into their clutches 
 
 Had better halt on broken crutches. 
 
 X There
 
 [tfe] 
 
 There is a creature deem'd ridiculous, 
 Which is in Latin call'd Pediculus i 
 I hope my plainnefs you'll excufe 
 'Tis in plain Englifh term'd a Loufe; 
 This creature is a Politician, 
 Nay may be ftil'd Metaphyfician, 
 For deep in thought he oft takes pains 
 To traverfe other people's brains, 
 And though he can't put thofe to rights, 
 To difcompofe them he delights : 
 ' Now furely,' I hear critics fay, 
 ' This fellow's doubly dull to-day, 
 1 Who can contrive to fill a page, 
 4 Without one maxim trite or fage, 
 * And thinks becaufc he's got a knack, 
 ' Of piling words a pick-a-back, 
 4 That therefore we muft all perufe 
 ' His trafh infipid and abufc : 
 ' I vow that I'd much rather hear 
 ' Our Politicians on the Pier, 
 
 Where
 
 * Where Hockley Hole in grave debate 
 ' Reforms the Minifters of State-.' 
 Indeed I wifh (my critic Brother) 
 That honeft Hock, or any other 
 Would point us out more pleafmg fcenes, 
 And flop the fcourge of Ways and Means : 
 
 * Difloyal creature,' cries a Tory, 
 
 ' The Ways and Means are Britain's glory, 
 
 * And you muft own it juft and fit, 
 
 ' The Nation fhould depend on PITT ; ' 
 
 * I never lik'd this being Pitted, 
 
 ' And fear we find ourfelves outwitted, 
 
 * If we on PITT alone depend, 
 
 ' I fay no more but mark the end. ! ' 
 
 Reader ! I hope thy parts are brighter, 
 
 Than charge thefe fayings on the Writer ; 
 
 He is accountable for none, 
 
 More than the board he writes upon : 
 
 The board which makes his defk and bench, 
 
 And ferves his Garret to intrench ; 
 
 1 mean
 
 f '64 "J 
 
 I mean when daily toil is o'er 
 
 It makes a fattening for the door. 
 
 Indeed for that He need not haften, 
 
 He has no worldly goods to fatten : 
 
 Tho' I have heard when I was young 
 
 (In half a tale and half a fong) 
 
 About a man who nothing had. 
 
 And yet his fortune was lo bad, 
 
 He ran from thieves who could not find him 
 
 A fcore of miles, nor look'd behind him. 
 
 I wonder what old Hock will think, 
 
 (I mean if not difguis'd in drink,; 
 
 When he fhall hear the critics fay, 
 
 That he's the fubjeft of my lay, 
 
 That I have Nokcs and Stiles pafs'd by, 
 
 On honeji Hock my mufe to try : 
 
 And think I've found a fubjcft fitter. 
 
 Though Coxcombs grin and Ladies titter. 
 
 Says Paulas (whom I know my friend) 
 
 ' I wifh we knew where this would end, 
 
 'This
 
 C 165 ] 
 
 ooeoooMoeocoooooo* 
 
 This fellow's got into a bog, 
 
 'Too much of Pudding choaks a dog, 
 
 ' And yet he will continue cramming, 
 
 ' And down our throats his nonfenfc ramming -, 
 
 * We all cry out, confounded Jl of, 
 
 * And think we've fairly got enough ; 
 
 ' To drag fo long thro' Folly's quagmire, 
 
 ' Would both the dogs Hold/aft and Brag tire.' 
 
 If you can't laugh with me, laugh at me, 
 
 Confider pray, how fair may that be ; 
 
 Obferve 'tis I myfelf am fpeaking, 
 
 Whilft you on me your j efts are breaking* 
 
 You fhould not when I've juft begun 
 
 Commencing my career of fun, 
 
 Jump up. and all my humour ftifie, 
 
 By fwearing you don't like the trifle 4 
 
 'Tis cruel hard, it is indeed, 
 
 A Scribbler never fhould fucceedl 
 
 And yet be fo completely roafted, 
 
 And on the Draw-bridge Gallows poftea, 
 
 There
 
 r 166 ] 
 
 There to be parted up to view, 
 
 In black and White and Black and Blue : 
 
 The Devil take this lack of brains, 
 
 In vain 1 (ludy and take pains : 
 
 This Proverb might be learn'd at home, 
 
 That nothing can from nothing come, 
 
 And every trial we make fhows clear, 
 
 You can't make Jtlken purfe of fora's tar ; 
 
 And you may fafely bet a tcfter, 
 
 That I fhall never make a jefter ; 
 
 Although I ufe my beft endeavour, 
 
 I ne'er at humour fhall be clever : 
 
 'Tis better I refcrve my rhymes 
 
 In Hockley's praife for other times, 
 
 Or not with what I've done content, 
 
 My inability lament, 
 
 Poftponing future meditation 
 
 To fome more favouring occaHon, 
 
 When I may tell and you may hear, 
 
 I fhall not your attention fear ; 
 
 But
 
 [ '67] 
 
 But proud encouragement to meet, 
 With heart-felt gratulation greet, 
 With lively meafures I'll prolong 
 The flrains of many a chearful fong, 
 But where does erring fancy flray s 
 What witchcraft feizes on my lay ? 
 The charm is broke, the vifion's fled, 
 The fcenes which airy Fancy bred, 
 And dark the chearlefs moments roll, 
 Lingering to my uneafy foul : 
 For fhame, this common-place reprefs, 
 What cares the world for thy diftrefs ? 
 Each burthen'd with his proper care, 
 Refufes others' ills to fhare : 
 Each would his proper griefs avoid, 
 Nor be by others' cares annoy'd ; 
 Then prithee let thy mufe be quiet, 
 She fhews thy friends but forry diet : 
 Since thou no better fare can offer, 
 
 I would not have thee make the proffer. 
 
 Thou
 
 [ *68 j 
 
 Thou that old Proverb fhould remember. 
 *' Alike in July as December.'* 
 Which tells thee wfost return does wait 
 On proffer'd fervice ibon or late, 
 Which might thy forwardnefs abate : 
 Thofe fportive minds which are intent 
 On ridicule and merriment, 
 Mud fome new quarry fcek to find. 
 Subje&s more fitted to their mind, 
 And plcas'd with entertainment fit. 
 Gladly my gloominefs they quit. 
 
 We are defired by a Friend to infert the following 
 yENIGMA. 
 
 ENTLE breath of melting forrow, 
 Pleafure docs thy garments bonow, 
 lovr on thee is iilcnt hung 
 Fi i< ndlhip takes from thee a tongue ; 
 Never It-en, yet known to be 
 Child of feniibility. 
 SoKJv ln-ard and fweetly felt, 
 M hich alike to rapture melt, 
 RJIMIK <wcet!v fpcaks in thee, 
 Child of fenhb'iluy.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 CO CO COOC OC M OOOt 00 C 
 
 No. 22. 
 
 TUESDAY, MARCH zoth. 1798. 
 
 THE 
 
 following Legendary Ballad was firft 
 publifhed in London about twenty years fmce, 
 and is now reprinted in the Anomaliae, at the 
 requeft of feveral Readers favourable to the 
 work, with thofe corre&ions and alterations 
 which appeared to be requifite : the original 
 dedication and preliminary obfervations being 
 omitted, as at this time unneceffary. 
 
 ATHELGIVA. 
 
 Hcec novimus tffe nihiL 
 
 'H 
 
 . ERE mayft thou reft, my fifter dear, 
 * Securely here abide ; 
 Here royal Edelfleda liv'd, 
 ' Here pious Hilda died. 
 
 Y < Here
 
 Here peace and quiet ever dwell , 
 
 * Here fear no rude alarms; 
 
 'Nor here is heard the trumpet's found, 
 ' Nor here the din of arms.' 
 
 With voice compos'd and look ferene, 
 (Whilft her foft hand he prefs'd) 
 
 The maid, who trembled on his arm, 
 Young Edwy thus addrefs'd. 
 
 Blue gleam'd the fteel in Edwy's hand, 
 
 The warrior's veft he bore : 
 For now the Dane, by Hubba led, 
 
 Had ravaged the fhore. 
 
 His fummons at the abbey gate, 
 
 The ready porter hears ; 
 And foon in veil and holy garb, 
 
 The priorcfs appears. 
 
 *O take this virgin to thy care,. 
 ' Good angels be your guard ; 
 ' And may the faints in Heaven above, 
 
 * That pious care reward. 
 
 For
 
 C '7* j 
 
 * For we by fierce barbarian bantu, 
 
 ' ' Are driven from our home ; 
 
 4 And three long days and nights forlorn. 
 
 * All comfortlefs we roam. 
 
 ' But I mud go thefe towers to feve : 
 
 ' Beneath the nightly fhade 
 ' I hafte to feek earl Ofrick's power, 
 
 * And call lord Rcdwald's aid.' 
 
 He faid and turn'd his ready foot ; 
 
 The abbefs filent flood, 
 But with a look that fpoke the grief 
 
 Which torpify'd her blood. 
 
 Then turning to the ftranger dame. 
 
 * O welcome to this place ; 
 
 ' For never Whitby's holy fane 
 ' Did fairer maiden grace.' 
 
 And true (he faid for on her cheek 
 Was feen young beauty's bloom, 
 
 Tho' grief with flow and wafting Health, 
 Did then her prime confume. 
 
 Her
 
 Her fhape was all that thought can frame, 
 
 Of elegance and grace ; 
 And Heav'n the beauties of her mind 
 
 Reflected in her face. 
 
 ; My daughter, lay afide thy fears.' 
 Again the matron cried , 
 
 * No Danilh ravifliers come here' 
 
 Again the virgin fighcd. 
 
 The abbefs faw, the abbefs knew. 
 
 'Twas love that (hook her bread. 
 And thus, in accents foft and mild, 
 
 The mournful maid addrcft. 
 
 ' My daughter dear, ss to thy friend 
 
 * Be. all thy cares confeft ; 
 
 ' I fee 'tis love difturbs thy mind, 
 ' And wifh to give thee reft. 
 
 But hark ! I hear the vefper bell, 
 
 * Now fummons us to prayer ; 
 
 * That duty done, with needful food 
 
 * Thy wafted flrength repair.' 
 
 But
 
 C 
 
 But now the pitying mournful mutt. 
 
 Of Ectwy's hap ftiall tell ; 
 And what amid his nightly walk 
 
 That gallant youth befel. 
 
 For wandering by the bank of E{k 
 
 He took his lonely way ; 
 There thro' the (bowers of driving raia 
 
 His erring footfteps ftray. 
 
 At length from far, a glimm'ring light 
 
 Trembled among the trees ; 
 And ent'ring foon a mofs-buiit hut, 
 
 A holy man he ees. 
 
 ' O father, deign a lucklefs youth 
 ' This night with thee to fhieid^ 
 
 * I am no robber, though my arm 
 
 ' This deadly weapon wield.' 
 
 ' I fear no robber, ftranger ! here, 
 ' I nothing have to lofe ; 
 
 * And thou may'ft iafely thro' the night^ 
 
 1 In this poor cell lepofe. - 
 
 'And
 
 ' And thou art welcome to my hut,' 
 The holy man replied ; 
 
 * Still welcome here is he, whom fate 
 
 ' Has left without a guide. 
 
 * Whence and what art thou, gentle youth?' 
 
 The noble Edwy faid, 
 ' I go to route earl Ofrick's power, 
 And feek lord Redwald's aid. 
 
 * My father is a wealthy lord, 
 
 ' Who now with Alfred flays ; 
 ' And left his manfion to my care, 
 ' Whilft he his duty pays. 
 
 * But vain the hope in dead of night 
 
 ' The cruel Ipoilers came ; 
 ' And o'er each neighb'ring caflle threw 
 ' The wide-devouring flame. 
 
 'To fhun their rage, at early da\vii 
 
 ' I with my filler fled ; 
 1 And Whitby's abbey now affords 
 
 ' Safe refuge to her head. 
 
 ' whim
 
 [ 175] 
 
 4 Whilft I, to haften promis'd aids, " 
 Range wildly through the night, 
 
 ' And, with impatient mind, expeft 
 ' The morning's friendly light.' 
 
 Thus Edwy fpoke and wond'ring, gaz'd 
 
 Upon his hermit hoft ; 
 For in his form beam'd manly grace, 
 
 Untouch'd by age's froft. 
 
 The hermit figh'd and thus he faid ;' 
 ' Know, there was once a day, 
 
 'This tale of thine would fire my heart, 
 ' To join th'embattlcd fray. 
 
 * But lucklefs love dejefts my foul, 
 
 * And cafts my fpirits down ; 
 
 Thou feeft the wretch of woman's pride^ 
 
 * Of follies not my own. 
 
 4 1 once amid my fovereign's train, 
 ' Was a diftinguifh'd youth, 
 
 * But blighted is my former fame 
 
 'By forrow's cankering tooth. 
 
 'When
 
 [ '76] 
 
 *\Vhen Etheldred o'er England reign'd, 
 
 4 1 to this diftrift came ; 
 'And then a fair and matchlefs maid 
 
 ' Firft. rais'd in me a flame. 
 
 '.Her father was a noble lord 
 
 ' Of an illuftrious race, 
 1 Who, join'd to ruftic honefty, 
 
 ' The courtier's gentle grace. 
 
 ' 'Twas then I told my artlefs tale, 
 
 ' By love alone infpir'd ; 
 '.For never was my honeft fpeech 
 
 ' In flattering guife attir'd. 
 
 ' At firft (he heard, or feem'd to hear 
 
 ' The voice of tender love ; 
 ' But foon, the fickleft of her fex, 
 
 * Did fhe deceitful prove. 
 
 She drove me fcornful from her fightj 
 
 * Rejecied and difdain'd ; 
 
 In vain did words for pity plead, 
 ' In vain my looks complain'd. 
 
 (To be continued. )
 
 r *77 j 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 23. 
 
 TUESDAY, MARCH 27th. 1798. 
 A T H E L G I V A. 
 
 (Continued.) 
 4TT 
 
 JTAJW could that brcaft which pity fill'd. 
 
 ' Ever reLentlefs be ? 
 
 ' How could that face which fmil'd on all, 
 1 Have ever frowns for me ? 
 
 * Since that fad hour, I in this cell 
 ' Have liv'd reclufe from man ; 
 
 ' And twice ten months have pafs'd, fince I 
 ' The hermit's life began.' 
 
 O (bin to honour ! ' Edwy cry'd; 
 
 ' O foul difgrace to arms ! 
 'What, when thy country claims thine, aid, 
 
 ' And fhakes with war's alarms ! 
 
 7. ' '- 'Ganft
 
 [.,78] 
 
 * Can ft thou, inglorious, here remain, 
 
 4 Here flrive thyfelf to hide ; 
 
 AiTume the monkifh coward life, 
 
 ' All for a woman's pride ? ' 
 
 With louder voice and warmer look, 
 
 His hermit hoft rejoin'd : 
 'Thinkft thou, vain youth, the chains of fear 
 
 * Could here a warrior bind ? 
 
 ' Know, boy, thou fee ft Herman ric here - f 
 ' Well vers'd in war's alarms ; 
 
 * A name once not unknown to fame, 
 
 ' Nor unrenown'd in arms. 
 
 * O, Athelgiva ! (yet too dear) 
 
 ' Did I thy danger know ; 
 
 * Yet would I fly to thy relief, 
 
 ' And crufh th' invading foe.' 
 
 With flufter'd cheek, young Edwy turn'd 
 
 At Athelgiva 's name ; 
 And, ' Gracious powers ! it muft. be he 1 * 
 
 He cries, ' it is the fame ! 
 
 'I know
 
 * I know full well, I have not now 
 
 ' More of thy tale to learn ; 
 I heard this morn, e'er from the wave 
 ' VV c could the fun difcern. 
 
 * My fifter loves thee, gallant youth, 
 
 ' By all the faints on high ! 
 
 * She wept laft night, when thy hard fate 
 
 ' She told with many a figh. 
 
 * Forgive her then, and for her fake 
 
 ' Thy limbs with fteel infold : 
 
 * Was it not Ardolph's daughter, fay, 
 
 Who late thy heart did hold ? ' 
 
 * It was, it was ! ' Hermanric cry'd ; 
 
 * I heard her brother's name ; 
 ' 'Tis faid he was a gallant youth, 
 ' Who fought abroad for fame.' 
 
 Then Edwy fprang to his embrace, 
 And clafp'd him to his breaft; 
 
 * And thou fhalt be my brother too,' 
 
 He faid and look'd the reft, 
 
 <But
 
 r 1*0 1 
 
 ' But now let honour nil thy mind, 
 
 ' Be love's foft laws obey'd ; 
 "Tis Athelgiva claims claims thy fword, 
 
 * 'Tis flic demands thy aid. 
 
 'She, with impatient anxious he^rt, 
 
 4 Expefts my quick return ; 
 ' And 'till again fhe fees me lafe, 
 
 ' The haplefs maid will mourn. 
 
 ' Then let us fly to feck thefe chiefs 3 
 ' Who promis'd aid to fend ; 
 
 ' Earl Ofrick was my father's gueft, 
 ' Lord Redwald is my friend.' 
 
 Hcrmanric faid, ' Firft let us go 
 
 To chear yon drooping maid ; 
 
 ' Again I'll wear my coat of mail. 
 
 * And draw my rufted blade. 
 
 Then from a corner of the cell 
 
 His clafhing arms he took ; 
 But when he mark'd the growing rufl, 
 
 The foldier's bofom (hook. 
 
 Then
 
 ttfc] 
 
 Then forth they went Hermanric knew 
 
 Each pathway of the wood ; 
 And fofe before the abbey gate 
 
 At break of day they flood. 
 
 Now, deep the wesriei maiden's eyes 
 
 At length had kindly fcal'd, 
 When at the gate the wand'ring knights 
 
 Returning day reveal'd. 
 
 ' Quick call the abbefs,' Edwy faid 
 
 To him who kept the door, 
 Who watch'd and pray'd the live-long night, 
 
 A pious prieft, and poor. 
 
 The abbefs came, with inftant hafte ; 
 
 Th' alarming bell was rung ; 
 And from their matted homely bedf 
 
 The fainted virgins fprung. 
 
 Fair Athelgiva firft the dame, 
 
 Soft fpeaking, thus addreft : 
 My daughter, an important call 
 
 ( Bids me difturb thy reft. 
 
 'Thy
 
 
 1 Thy brother at the abbey gate, 
 ' Appears with features glad ; 
 
 ' And with him comes a ftranger knight, 
 * In war-worn armour clad.' 
 
 With falt'ring ftep and bloodlcfs cheek, 
 
 Young Athelgiva went : 
 Confufion, fhame, furprife, and joy, 
 
 At once her bofom rent. 
 
 When in the dranger knight fhe faw 
 Hermanric's much-lov'd face ; 
 
 Whillt he, by gen'rous love impell'd, 
 Rufh'd to her fond embrace. 
 
 Vain would the mufe attempt to paint 
 
 What joy the lover knew, 
 Who found his long difdainful maid 
 
 At once fair, kind, and true. 
 
 Then Edwy, while Jntranc'd in blif* 
 
 The happy pair remain'd, 
 Recounted o'er the tale how he 
 
 Hermanric loft regain'd.
 
 C 
 
 But foon, alas ! too foon, was heard, 
 To damp their new-form'd joys, 
 
 The groan of death, the fhout of war, 
 And battle's mingled noife. 
 
 For up the hill, with eager hade, 
 
 A breathlefs courier came ; 
 He cry'd, ' Prepare for dire alarms, 
 
 'And fhun th' approaching flame. 
 
 * Fierce Hubba landing on the beach, 
 ' Now drives our feeble band ; 
 
 ' Who, far too few to ftop his force, 
 ' Fly o'er the crimfon'd fand.' 
 
 What anguifh fill'd the maiden's breaft. 
 
 What rage the lover knew, 
 When looking down the fteepy hill, 
 
 They found the tale was true. 
 
 Each warlike youth then grcfp'dhisfpear. 
 
 The trembling damfel faid, 
 'O where is now Earl Ofrick's power, 
 
 ' And where Lord Redwald's aid ? ' 
 
 c Alas,
 
 ' Alas, alas ! ' the abbefs cries, 
 
 ' Far as my fight is borne, 
 ' I cannot fee the ruddy crofs, 
 
 4 Nor hear Earl Oinck's horn.' 
 
 Stern Hubba now to direful deeds 
 
 ImpelPd his favage crew ; 
 And o'er the blood-empurpled ftrand 
 
 The golden raven flew. 
 
 C Tiit conclufion in my ntxt.J 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 OF the Goddefs of Sti limpets, for whom it is faid 
 There was in Old ROME annual ferhvals made, 
 If )ou take three-fifths, then to that fubjoin 
 The Mnfe's initial who writes things divine : 
 The Deity next, o'er Revenge who prelides, 
 (I'm fure that fell Goddefs my pen never guides ;) 
 Then the Goddefs of Chattily whom all admire, 
 And that charming Muic who to 1 ove tunes her lyre ; 
 I mould not Hell's Judge with fuch company grace, 
 Yet I mull allow his initial a place ; 
 If you add the Pioud Fair who Jove's thunder defir'd,- 
 A:id who in the blaze of his light'ning expir'd, 
 Th< fe Letters the Name of fomr Ladies exprefc. 
 Who all AN OM ALIAS'S Rcbuffcs guefs.
 
 r -8s] 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 24. 
 
 TUESDAY, APRIL 3d. 1798. 
 ATHELGIVA. 
 
 (Concluded.) 
 
 <r> 
 
 JLJEHOLD,' he cries, and waves his lance, 
 
 'Where yon proud turrets rife; 
 ' Of thofe who prove war's glorious toil, 
 ' Let beauty be the prize. 
 
 1 There gold and beauty both are found, 
 
 ' Then follow where I lead ; 
 { And quickly know you have not fought 
 
 ' For honour's empty meed.' 
 
 He faid, and prefs'd to gain the hill, 
 
 His fhouting train purfue ; 
 And fir'd by hopes of brutal joys, 
 
 Behold the prize in view. 
 
 A a*" Young
 
 Young Edwy m^rk'd their near approach,. 
 
 And rufh'd t'oppofe their way : 
 Nor did, with equal ardor fir'd, 
 
 Behind Hermanric flay. 
 
 Like mountain boars, the brother chiefs 
 On Denmark's warriors flew ; 
 
 And thofe who held the foremoft ranks, 
 Their fury overthrew. 
 
 Soon, pierc'd by Edwy's fatal lance, 
 
 Lay valiant Turkil dend ; 
 There Hardicanute bit the duft, 
 
 Who by Hermanric bled. 
 
 But vain is courage, ftrength, or (kill, 
 
 When two oppofe an hofl ; 
 A dart, with fare and deadly aim, 
 
 At Edwy, Hubba toft. 
 
 His fifter, who, o'erpower'd by grief, 
 
 Had fainted on the floor, 
 Recover'd by the matron's care, 
 
 Now fought the abbey door. 
 
 When
 
 When on the fated carnag'd fpot 
 
 She caft her weeping eyes ; 
 ' O, bleiled Mary ! ' cry'd the maid, 
 
 'My brother bleeds and dies.' 
 
 Then forth (he ran and gain'd the place ; 
 
 Where, prefs'd by crowds of foes, 
 Hermanric flood the fhades of death 
 
 Her brother's eyelids clofe. 
 
 The furious Dane nor pity knew, 
 Nor ftay'd his vengeful arm ; 
 
 Nor aught avail'd that heavenly face, 
 Which might a tiger charm. 
 
 Firft on th* unguarded chief he rufh'd, 
 And bore him to the ground ; 
 
 The helplefs damfel's 'plaint of woe 
 In war's loud fhout is drown'd. 
 
 She faw Hermanric's quiv'ring lip, 
 She mark'd his rolling eye ; 
 
 She faints fhe falls ! before her fight 
 Death's vifions dimly fly. 
 
 'And,
 
 [ '88 ] 
 
 1 And, O thou clear and much-lov'd youth/ 
 
 The dying virgin cried ; 
 'Howe'er in life 1 wrong'd thy truth, 
 
 * Yet true with thee I died.' 
 
 She fpoke no more. Even Hubba felt 
 
 The force of love fuicere ; 
 Then firft his breaft confefs'd the figh, 
 
 Then firfl his cheek the tear. 
 
 ' And. O my friends, the rage of war,' 
 
 He cries, ' awhile forbear ' 
 ' And to their weeping kindred ftraight 
 
 'Thefe breath lei's bodies bear. 
 
 'Or fear the wrath of Powers Divine ' 
 
 Nor could he further fay ; 
 But quickly, with diforder'd march, 
 
 Bent to his fhips his way. 
 
 For now was heard Earl Ofrick's horn, 
 Shrill founding thro' the dale ; 
 
 And now Lord Redwald's ruddy crofs 
 Was waving to the gale. 
 
 His
 
 His tardy aid Earl Oirick brought 
 
 Too late, alas ! to fave ; 
 And far beyond th' avenging fvvord 
 
 The Dane now rode the wave. 
 
 Grief feiz'd the warrior's heart, to fee 
 
 In duft young Edwy laid ; 
 And ftretch'd by brave Hermanric's fide 
 
 Fair Athelgiva dead. 
 
 But on the holy crofs he fworc, 
 
 A brave revenge to take, 
 On Denmark's proud and bloody fons, 
 
 For Athelgiva 's fake. 
 
 This vow in Kenwuth's glorious field 
 
 The gallant earl did pay ; 
 When Alfred's better liar prevail'd. 
 
 And England had her day. 
 
 That day the Dane full dearly paid 
 The price of lovers' blood ; 
 
 That day in Hubba's cloven helm 
 The Saxon's jay din flood. 
 
 The
 
 The bodies of the haplefs three 
 \\ ere to one gtv.ve convey'd, 
 
 And in the cho;r, with dirges due, 
 Their cold remains were laid. 
 
 Lord Ardolph on his childrens' tomb 
 Infcrib'd th' applauding verfc ; 
 
 And long the monks, in Gothic rhyme, 
 Their flory did rehearfe. 
 
 And often pointing to the fkies, 
 The cloifter'd maids would crv ; 
 
 'To thofe bright realms, in bloom of youth, 
 Did AtheJgiva fly.' 
 
 IMPROMPTU, 
 
 At a Mafqutrade, in the CharaEler of 
 
 ENDYMION. to Miss S ; -***. 
 
 Habittd as Diuna. 
 
 O Latmos' top, if Grecian talcs be true. 
 The power of Love the chafte Diana drew ; 
 There whilft the world de^lor'd her abfent 
 
 light, 
 
 She with Endymion pafs'd the rapt'rous night; 
 
 Refigning
 
 Refigning there her yet unrifleJ charms, 
 The happy Hunter revell'd in her arms: 
 But I who hear Endymion's mimic veft, 
 Am than Endymion more f jpremely bleft ; 
 On me a fairer, milder Cynthia (miles, 
 A brighter Goddefs fhares my plealing toils ; 
 It is not ours to pant for lylvan forne, 
 To drag the mefhes for diiaftrous game; 
 N6r from his covert roufe expos'd to view, 
 The brindled Monfler that Adonis flew : 
 Far different f^orts our gentler minds em- 
 ploy, 
 
 Hence every ruder guft of barbarous joy , 
 Ours are fuperior plcafures of the mind, 
 The joys of reafon and of fenfe combin'd ; 
 The calm delights which from pure friend- 
 
 fhip flow, 
 
 The boundlefs raptures Beauty can beftow ; 
 To fwell my happinefs together join ; 
 In thee they meet, and thou, my fair, art 
 mine. 
 
 REBUS,
 
 REBUS. 
 
 What for Goodwill is but another name 
 (My Rebus for it's cafmefs you'll blame) 
 Supplies the FIRST initial of my lines; 
 Who to it houfehold management combines, 
 W r ill find the SECOND. To fupply the next, 
 The dulled thinker need not be perplext ; 
 'Tis that which finglencfsof thought defigns, 
 Next that which every human heart refines ; 
 Then that which does each feeling mind en- 
 gage 
 
 In "life's mofl eftimablc. plcafmg flage ; 
 If your ideas thefe fhould right connect, 
 There is no need your judgment to direft. 
 
 We have been favoured with a comic Tale on 
 " The Influence of Mufic upon the Sen- 
 les," which will appear in our next. 
 
 N. B. Letters to the Writer of Anomaliae (rc- 
 fpefting that Publication) muft be addreffed 
 to him at the Printer's ; and when fent by 
 the Pofh the Carriage muft be paid, if it be 
 expefted that any attention fliould be fhown 
 them.
 
 f 1 93 3 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 OOOOC00000030030COO* 
 
 No. 25. 
 
 TUESDAY, APRIL loth. 1798. 
 
 Sed fallit, an Amnem 
 Confpicimus ? brevior carmine fafta via eft ? 
 Dicite qui colitis ESK^ vada coerula, nautae, 
 Ecquis ad algentes conftitit hofpes aquas ? 
 
 LOTICHIUS, L. IV. E. iii. 77. 
 Are we deceiv'd, or we behold a ftream ? 
 By verfc our tedious way will fhorter feem : 
 Tell me ye Sailors, who your manfions keep 
 Where ESKA joins with the coerulean deep, 
 What ftranger chance has guided on his road, 
 Amidft your cooling ftreams to make abode. 
 
 T, 
 
 HE following Fable, defcribing the ori- 
 gin of the appellation of the River ESK, is 
 extracted from an unfinifhed Poem begun ma- 
 ny years fince, but of which no part has hi- 
 therto been publifhed. 
 
 Ere yet th' kifloric mufe her pow'rs had fhown, 
 
 But pad events were from tradition known ; 
 
 Bb Ere
 
 [ '94 j 
 
 Ere Trojan Brute and Corinaeus bore 
 Their fated enfigns to the chalky (here ; 
 Ere ancient Albion and his giant train 
 O'er fair Loegria had begun to reign ; 
 Then Hv'd reclufeamidftthe fhadowy woods, 
 The flowery valleys and the murmuring floods, 
 A maid than whom no Naiad bloom'd more 
 
 fair, 
 
 No Hamadryad could with her compare : 
 Faunus and Pan (had Faunus hither ftray'd ?) 
 Had own'd Arcadia bore not fuch a maid ; 
 Her graceful form the Cyprian queen confeft. 
 But cold Artemis only rul'd her breaft : 
 Amidft thefe vales a veftal's life fhe led, 
 And fcorn'd the raptures of the genial bed ; 
 With firmnefs fhe reprefs'd, but not difdain, 
 Th'impatient fuitors of th' unpolifh'd plain : 
 Her as difportive on the hills fhe play'd, 
 Or fought the coolnefs of the fragrant fhade : 
 
 Vcr-
 
 Vertumnus faw, and flruck with novel charms 
 Foriook inconflant fair Pomona's arms; 
 For her alone he flruck th' harmonious lyre, 
 And tun'd to lays of love the quiv'ring wire; 
 For her he deck'd th' enamell'd hills with 
 
 flowers, 
 For her he twin'd with eglantine the bowers. 
 
 ' O what a foolifh tale,' fome critic cries, 
 ' In this bard's brain what crude ideas rife; 
 ' How came Vertumnus Here fuch love to try, 
 ; A local God, a Tufcan Deity ? ' 
 Peace, Hypercritic, Poetry iupplies 
 Inftruclive tales from what you reckon lies. 
 
 By adulation's foothing arts he flrove, 
 To lure the virgin to return his love ; 
 Beneath his culture, vegetation gay 
 Produc'd frefh novelties each rifing day. 
 Their mutual love Pomona foon elpy'd, 
 Her heart it wounded and enrag'd her pride; 
 
 The
 
 [ '96] 
 
 The objeft of her jealoufy fhe fought, 
 And foon difcover'd with vindiftive thought, 
 Then in her breaft the kindling flames arifc, 
 And all the female lightens in her eyes: 
 The trembling damfel fled along the plain. 
 Implord Vertumnus, but implor'd in vain ; 
 The Goddcfs fir'd with jealous rage, purfu'd 
 And plung'd her helplefs rival in the flood ; 
 There thc-dark ftream reprcls'dhcr rofy breath 
 With the chill torpors of a watery death : 
 Pomona faw her error when too late, 
 And mourn'd the lovely dzmlel's cruel f;.tc, 
 And what fhe could fhe did from Jove obtain, 
 Ti at EJka fhould a guardian Nymph remain ; 
 \Vho thus the GoJclefsof the ftream became. 
 Which dill retains unhappy EJka' $ name.* 
 
 * The real derivation of the name of ESK. is probably 
 from the Saxon HKSK, which fignifies " Reeds," and 
 may have been attributed to the river from the quantity 
 of reeds growing on its borders.
 
 C'97] 
 
 THE EFFECT OF 
 
 MUSIC ON THE SENSES. 
 
 ( A Tale.) 
 
 Mufic hath charms to foothe a favage breatt, 
 To foften rocks and bend the knotted oaks, 
 
 O 
 
 .USIC hath charms ('tis well exprcffc 
 Enough) to foothe a favage bread; 
 But foft'ning rocks and bending oaks, 
 To me appear but idle jokes : 
 Howe'er that be, I'll here explain 
 It's power on Tailors as on Men. 
 His fcythc in hand Death one day took. 
 And vifit paid to Cumbria's Duke,* 
 And bluntly told great George's fon, 
 His thread he'd cut, his glals was run ; 
 In vain 'twas to expoftulate. 
 He yielded to the will of fate : 
 The nation all were forry for't, 
 Deep mourning's order'd by the court. 
 And men fmcc Duke to grave was gone, 
 In afh.es muft and fackcloth groan, 
 
 * William. And
 
 And male and female who were able, 
 Did ftraight provide a fuit of fable. 
 Whilft gen'ral mourning rul'd the land, 
 A mafter Tailor in the Strand, 
 Who had among the Great much trade, 
 Him many journeymen obey'd : 
 Amongft the reft one Richard nam'd, 
 For ftrongth of lungs and Tinging fam'd ; 
 Dick lung, and itill his favourite ilaves, 
 "Were Rule Britannia, Rule the Waves! 
 His mailer why the work went flow, 
 At firft the realon did not know ; 
 But by obfervance finding foon 
 Each elbow mov'd to Dick's flow tune, 
 Kinted his pleafure unto Dick, 
 That he would chufe a tune more quick , 
 But all his hints were loft on him, 
 Britannia was his darling theme. 
 Orders mean time came in apace, 
 And fuits of mourning fill'd the place ; 
 Small time to finifh them was given, 
 And to defpair the mafter's driven ; ' 
 Acrofs his brain inventions glide, 
 To make their needles fwifter flide, 
 
 (A,
 
 99 
 
 (As Dick to him was not obedient) 
 
 At laft he hit on this expedient : 
 
 A fiddler who play'd up and down, 
 
 And with his fcraping charm'd the town, 
 
 He ftraight call'd in, and foon plac'd he him, 
 
 Where they cou'd hear but cou'd not fee him ; 
 
 Quick Britifh tunes he play'd before 'em, 
 
 With brifk Scotch reels and Tullachgorum ; 
 
 " Shortly the fon of guts and rofin, 
 
 " Struck up the tune of Nancy Dawfon : " 
 
 His mufic foon each humour fuits, 
 
 And, Orpheus like, he charm'd the brutes ; 
 
 He play'd a tolerable ftick, 
 
 And quickly caught the ears of Dick : 
 
 Amaz'd he heard, nor play'd he long, 
 
 Before Dick dropp'd his favorite fong ; 
 
 The mafler, pleas'd, obferv'd the charm, 
 
 To Nancy Dawfon mov'd each arm ; 
 
 The work went forward with great fpeed, 
 
 And was fent home at time agreed. 
 
 M. W. 
 REBUS.
 
 eeooooc eooooooe 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 I know 't will feem bold in a fellow like me, 
 (Whom to callfimple Tony all critics agree), 
 To attempt to cielcribe in a new fet of lays,' 
 A Name which already has merited praife: 
 Yet take the firft confbnant in a conjunftion, 
 (You furely may do this and yet feel no com- 
 
 pun&ion) ; 
 The name of the realm where by God's grace 
 
 we live, 
 
 A fccond initial will readily give; 
 The firft of a negative commonly known, 
 And the fcrpentine letter 's quite eafy youli 
 
 own; 
 
 Reverfe the denial, and take it's firft letter, 
 (I'm afraid that in rebuffing I grow no better) 
 A liquid letter to conclude thefe, join'd, 
 Will give a fair maid's name at once defin'd.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 __,. 
 
 TUESDAY, APRIL i 7 th. 1798. 
 
 EJi modus in Rebus; funt certi deniqut fines, 
 Quos ultra dtraque nequit tonftjlere rettum. 
 
 Ho RAT. Sa. Lib. i. i. 
 
 Yes, there's a ruk and boundaries aj/ign'd, 
 On neither fide of which the right we. jind* 
 
 ranks of fociety feem fenfible of the 
 truth which the keen and lively fatirift, the 
 author of my motto, has there expreffed ; 
 but of this " modus in Rebus," ' : this medium 
 in things, " there is hitherto no precife defi- 
 nition ; and different perfons, even of thofe 
 whofe intellectual faculties may be claffed 
 amongft the fuperior underftandings, vary in 
 their opinions of what ought to be confider- 
 C c ed
 
 f 
 
 ed as an abfolute criterion, as a determinate 
 rule, not merely of expediency or as derived 
 from the fortuitous combination of aftublcir- 
 cumflances, and a confequent neceflity reiult- 
 ing and to be derived from them ; butarifmg 
 from that mental intuition which fpontane- 
 oufly intimates to the rational powers the pre- 
 cife idea of confcious reftitude, which a pof- 
 terior and more comprehenfivc ratiocination 
 afterwards elucidates by a demonftration, ap- 
 pealing to the combined faculties in their re- 
 ference to the ufually acknowledged verities. 
 
 I here find it neceflary to check myfelf, 
 leaft in trying too far to illuftnite an Hypo- 
 thefis 1 may become tcdioully prolix, and be- 
 wilder myfelf equally with my readers in the 
 idle parade of verbofe declamation : for even 
 in this kind of nugatory cxcrcitation, in which 
 the fancy is expatiated in the diiquilition of 
 
 trilling
 
 F 
 
 trifling remarks, there arc ccitain limits to be 
 attended to, beyond which the irregular vo- 
 litions of an excurfive imagination fhould not 
 be allowed frequently to tranfgrefs, as every 
 eccentricity of the fancy if indulged in a too 
 extcnfwe ellipfis (to ufe a mathematical me- 
 taphor), becomes a deviation from the right, 
 an aberration from thofe eftablifhed principles 
 upon which axioms arc founded, and without 
 which there could be no incontrovertible de- 
 monftration. 
 
 I believe that if men made the appeal to 
 their own hearts without fuffering their pre- 
 judices to influence, or their paffions to mil- 
 lead them, in all events the monitor would 
 bejuft, and that even in thofe of the moft or- 
 dinary capacity, if their judgment (fuch as it 
 may be) were left unbiafled, it would feldom 
 fail of giving a rigTit direction and practical 
 
 admo-
 
 r- 204 1 
 
 admonition : But few, very few of us are ca- 
 pable of this refined method of judging, ei- 
 ther for ourfelves or in our tranfaftions \\'ith 
 each other ; and indeed moft people are con- 
 tented to take the opinions of others and 
 adopting them as their own, adhere peitina- 
 cioufly to what they have thus imbibed, and 
 defend whether right or wrong, what they 
 
 have once promulgated as verity. Hence- 
 
 the dogmatifts in the fciences (and indeed in 
 almoft every thing), the wrangling and ccn- 
 tradi&ory Theologcrs, the fquabbling ;:nd j.-o- 
 fitive Politicians, the conceited Fedants and 
 felf-fufficient Critics, the Zealots of religious 
 bigotry, the Enthufiafls of fdnaticifm, Effcft- 
 ed Athcifts, 'and pfeudo Patriots, who tell 
 you with fighs the errors of all Adminifhati- 
 ons, and deplore the calamities which they 
 fay are impending over this devoted Couutry. 
 
 Thefe men, like the philofophers whom 
 
 Swift
 
 f 2 5 
 
 Szaift mentions in Laputa, dread the retrc- 
 greflion of a comet, and are pale with re- 
 fle&ing on what may be the confequence of 
 the diurnal diminution of the folar heat : the 
 Temporary Animal whofe precarious hopes 
 are bounded by the cafual exiftence of four- 
 Ccorc years, this Being, faft verging to the 
 dirt from whence he came, dares to confidcr 
 as his concern the immutable decrees of om- 
 nipotent Omnifcience, and prefumes in the 
 arrogance of his wifhes to difarrange the pre- 
 cfiablifhed harmony of universal Nature, 
 ''which waxeth not old like a garment," tho' 
 the created Heaven and Earth, the Scriptuie 
 faitii, fhall do fo. 
 
 I have been often apprized by my well- 
 wifhing readers, that in trying to protraft a 
 ferious difquifition, I am fure to grow tedi- 
 ous, and consequently tirefome and dull : 
 
 I kno\y
 
 [ 206 ] 
 
 1 know not whether inlerting the following 
 Imitation from a Tranflation of Menander by 
 Step/ianus, will relcuc me from the imputa- 
 
 'Tis true a wife is an expenfive gueft, 
 Extravagant and peevifh at the be ft ; 
 From her the law her hufband muft receive, 
 Move by her dictates, by her precepts live ; 
 Yet to fpeak truth, this evil lias it's ufe : 
 J Tis fhe that does the hufband's heirs produce. 
 And taking him for better and for worft^ 
 To his fick bed officiates as nurfe ; 
 Cleaves to him whercfoever he fhall go, 
 Clofe as his fliirt, whether he will or no : 
 She when he dies fees him in coffin laid, 
 And to his funeral due attention paid. 
 Think then each ftation has it's proper care, 
 So mayfl thou placidly receive thy fhare ; 
 But if to count thine ills thou art inclin'd, 
 Without rememb'ring where thy fortune's 
 kind. 
 
 Then
 
 C 207 ] 
 
 Then them through life (hall mourn thy way- 
 ward fate, 
 Nor ever fee thine anguifh terminate. 
 
 SONNET. 
 \\T 
 
 V V OTTLD it confole a haplefs wanderer's pain, 
 
 Condemn'd in dreary defarts to repine, 
 To fay ' Be bleft, thy footfteps prefs the plain, 
 ( Beneath whofe furface glows the golden mine ? ' 
 
 If all obfcure, unnoticed, unknown, 
 In the dark foil the brilliant luftre lies ; 
 
 If ne'er to " Holy Light's" refulgence mown. 
 It never blazes on admiring eyes : 
 
 Alike, envelop'd in involving play, 
 
 Ufelefs lie hid the pebble and the gem ; 
 Illuminated by the folar ray, 
 
 The latter decks th' imperial diadem : 
 
 Thus may difcernmcnt's intellectual light 
 
 The mental fplendor pure, fecera from folly's night. 
 
 REBUS.
 
 REBUS. 
 
 What pious people deem their port of reft, 
 And what's a ftate of innocence confeft ; 
 Then that which proffers to the wondering 
 
 eye 
 
 The quickeft inftance of velocity ; 
 Next what all mortal-kind mufl undergo 
 (The general fentence pnfs'd on all below) ' ; 
 Lad that which fignifies {: infpir'd with life" 
 (Sure this dull Rebus will not caufe me flrife) : 
 I mean of thefe th' initials you fhould take. 
 A fainted Lady's name of them to make. 
 
 EPIGRAM, 
 
 AVARO has " no other Gods but one , " 
 He worfhips Gold, and worfhips that alone. 
 
 An amplification of the popular ftory refpedting the ori- 
 gin of The PENNY HLDGE, will, by delire, be in- 
 ferted in my next.
 
 f 209 ] 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 27. 
 
 TUESDAY, APRIL 2 4 th. 1798. 
 
 E following is a fecond extraft from 
 the Poem of ESK, quoted in a preceding 
 Number of thefe Papers. 
 
 When Anjou's Henry England's fceptre fway'd 
 And him the realm reftor'd to peace obey'd; 
 No more the Hinds o'erwhelm'd with panic 
 
 fear, 
 Fled from th' uplifted blade and brandifh'd 
 
 fpear ; 
 
 Whilft civil difcord thro' the frighted land 
 Wav'd her red banners with a crimfon hand; 
 
 Nor 
 Dd
 
 [ 210 ] 
 
 Nor then had Henry mourn'd his Clifford* loft, 
 
 No meddling PricuVf his royal mind had croft, 
 
 No rebel fons affail'd their father's life, 
 
 To difobedicnce prompted by his wife : 
 
 But lov'd in peace, rever'd in war he fhone, 
 
 The monarch added luftre to the throne ; 
 
 Matilda's heir of Cerdic's ancient line, 
 
 In him did each difputed title join ; 
 
 But regal virtue cannot peace fecure, 
 
 His reign from for row never was fecure. 
 
 In fp ring's gay prime the rural barons join'd 
 
 To chafe a Boar the ficrceft of his kinc! ; 
 
 A Boar who dealt dcftruction o'er the pLiin, 
 
 And formidably did the woods maintain : 
 
 Dreadful as that in Cafydon of old, 
 
 Whofe (lory Ovid fancifully told ; 
 
 When Meleagrus gave away his prize, 
 
 Himfclf fubdu'd by Atalanta's .-yes. 
 
 The Village Lords with feudal pride elate, 
 
 Difplay'd around ariftocratic ftate : 
 
 There Brute whofe race luccecding times have 
 
 known, 
 
 With reputation wear the Scottifh crown, 
 Amidft the foremoft in the chace appeal 'd, 
 And with exulting fhouts his partners chter'd. 
 Fair Rofamond. t Becket. There
 
 r 
 
 There far diilinguiflied amongft the reft, 
 In rich habiliments and trappings dieft, 
 Proud Perry fhow'd his enfigns o'er the field, 
 <; *An Azure Lion on an Argent Shield " 
 His high defcent and regal lineage fhow'd, 
 And in his veins that blood imperial glow'd. 
 'Midfthornsandclarionsintermingledfounds, 
 And the full chorus of their deep-ton'd 
 
 hounds, 
 
 Away they fpeed to roufe their briftled prey. 
 To roufe, to follow, to o'ertake Jind ilay : 
 Their hoftile din the fiery favage fcares, 
 But foon all dcfperate he his tufks prepares ; 
 Again aftonifh'd at the varying noife, 
 He all his ftrength in rapid flight employs ; 
 Fatigu'd he foams along the fylvan plain, 
 And drains a fhelt'ring covert to obtain. 
 Upon the margin of the river flood 
 (Thick fhadovv'd over by the neighb'ring 
 
 wood) 
 
 A lone, fequefler'd, facrcd houie of pray'r, 
 Where oft a pious Hermit did repair ; 
 
 To 
 
 * The Arms of the Family of Percy are Argent a Lioa 
 Azure.
 
 J 
 
 To Heaven devoted he ftill pafs'd his days, 
 In lengthen'd orifons and hymns of praiie : 
 It chanc'd that then thofe orifons he paid. 
 And to Almighty Goodnefs ardent pray'd, 
 Devoutly kneeling on the hallowed floor, 
 Nor (unappris'd of danger) clos'd the door : 
 The wearied Boar the following dogs tofhun, 
 Did furioufly into the Chapel run ; 
 There fpent with toil -upon the floor he lies, 
 And 'quite cxhaufled, pants, and foams, and 
 
 dies. 
 Th' impatient Hunters now approach'd the 
 
 place, 
 
 Vex'd to be diiappointed in their chace ; 
 Soon with their flaves the ilight barrier de- 
 
 ftroy, 
 
 And 'gainftthe holy man thefe (laves employ ; 
 All bruis'd and mangled " him they Ici't iur 
 
 dead, " 
 
 Then ftruck with fear to Sanftuaries fled : 
 But the foul murthcr quickly did appear, 
 The cry of vengeance echoed far and ne;,r ; 
 To Whitby was th' expiring monk convey 'd, 
 And in the Abbot's friendly manfion laid ; 
 
 The
 
 C 213 
 
 The Abbot, who in Henry's favour flood, 
 Refolv'd to expiate the guilt of biood, 
 The murderers from the Sanftuary drew, 
 To make atonement for the faint they flew. 
 Abafh'd and trembling round the dying man 
 They fadly flood lie cslmly thus began : 
 
 * I will not fill your confcious hearts with 
 
 pain, 
 'By repetition how ye me. have flam.' 
 
 * Surely,' the Abbot haflily rcjoin'd, 
 'They fhall the felf-fame retribution find; 
 'As they have flain thee, they fhall furely 
 
 die' 
 
 ' Not fo; ' th' expiring Hermit made reply ', 
 ' O may you from the guilt of blood be freed ! 
 ' Yet in remembrance thst you did this deed, 
 ' On you the following pennancc I fhall lav ; 
 *Tiiat on the vigil of Af^enfion Day 
 ( Ye fhall in EJk a fence of wattling make, 
 1 A Penny's worth of each material take. 
 ' Which if three tides it fbnd the flowing fea, 
 1 Ye fhall from other forfeiture be free : ' 
 To this condition gladly they agreed, 
 A.ni fro.n all other punifhment were freed. 
 
 Thus
 
 Thus 'this event recorded we perceive 
 By annual cuftom, on Afcenfion Eve ; 
 There \vhilft they raife the imitative mound, 
 ''Out on you" (till the fhrill-ton'd horns re- 
 iound. 
 
 SONNET. 
 
 A, 
 
 , why hangs this fadnefs on my ioul ! 
 What dark dejeftion docs my mind deprcfs ? 
 Docs all my aftive faculties contro'ii, 
 And to defpair deteriorates diflrels : 
 
 Docs it portend fome forrow yet to come, 
 Whofe appellation future time muft mow ? 
 
 Some !;ital confequence of fortune's doom. 
 Some irremediable overthrow ? 
 
 The mind which pre-cxifling pains prepare, 
 Ought not to fhrink from confcquential ill ; 
 
 Guarded by long experiment of care, 
 A patient fpirit and fubmiilive will : 
 
 THESE like a buckler throng'd with darts and fp.-:.: 
 Allow no further fpsce for other hopes and ff-ars. 
 
 The
 
 The Hint of the following Lines is from 
 
 METASTASIO's 
 LA PARTENZA. 
 
 " E TU CHE SAI, SE MAI, 
 " XI SOVERRA DI ME." 
 
 Yes, we muft part, and I deplore the day, 
 Which from thy prefence tears me far away; 
 And who can tell when we far diftant be, 
 If thy remembrance ever think on Me ? 
 
 When novel fcenes and new diverfions rife 
 To charm thy fancy and delight thine eyes ; 
 When Thou and I {hall far afunder be, 
 W T ill thy remembrance ever think on Me ? 
 
 Affail'd by plcafure or attack'd by pain, 
 This faithful heart (hall always thine remain 
 But whilft attendant fplendor waits on thce, 
 \Vill thy remembrance ever turn to Me ? 
 
 REBUS..
 
 [ 21 6 ] 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 If you place the materials found in the quarry 
 (I think I'm fo plain your guefs cannot mif- 
 
 carry), 
 
 Before that of an edifice commonly known, 
 Then the name of a beautiful Maid will be 
 
 fhown ; 
 I prcy don't miftake me. for they muft be 
 
 join'd, 
 Before that the name of the Lady you find." 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 Three-fourths of an animal common in Spain, 
 And what at fome time will all mortals con- 
 tain, 
 
 Thcfe join'd give the name of a caftle of old; 
 No further I'll f;,y it is too plainly told.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 28. 
 
 TUESDAY, MAY ift. 1798. 
 
 rp 
 
 A HE following verfion of Horace's cele- 
 brated Ode to Grofphus was the literary 
 amufement of a vacant hour, by the Editor 
 of thefe Effays : it is, as a recent and new 
 Tranflation, at the inftance of a particular 
 Friend, iubmitted to the public cenfure. 
 
 HORACE, B. II. Ode xvi. 
 
 The paffenger caught on /Egean feas 
 Implores the powers above for Eafe, 
 When clouds have hid the Moon from fight 
 And Planets give no certain light 
 The feilors to direft ; 
 
 Ee For
 
 For Eafe prays warlike funous Thrace, 
 And thofe whom Median quivers grace 
 Afk Eafe, which is not to be fold, 
 Grqfphus, for purple, gems, or gold 
 We mufl not Eafe expect. 
 
 Th' Exchequer's wealth, the Conful's ftate, 
 The Liftor's rods cannot create 
 Soft Peace of Mind, nor can remove 
 Thofe hovering cares which fly above 
 The high-roof 'd palaces. 
 
 He happy lives whofe {lender board 
 Can one paternal mels afford ; 
 Whofc gentle {lumbers know no fear, 
 Whofe bread no anxious paflions tear 
 Which he cannot appeafe. 
 
 Why ftruggling thro' life's narrow fpan 
 Do we new difficulties plan ? 
 Ah ! why our native country quit ? 
 What vagrant exile ever yet 
 
 From his own thoughts could fly ? 
 
 Care
 
 21 9 3 
 
 Care climbs the veffels bolted fides, 
 Attendant with the horfemen rides. 
 The nimble (tags run not fo faft. 
 Tis fwifter than the eaftern blaft 
 That fweeps the iky. 
 
 The happy mind that now at reft 
 Is with no future wants oppreft, 
 Seafons life's bitters with a fmile, 
 Which can that anxious thought beguile 
 That none are fully bled. 
 
 Achilles death foon fnatch'd away, 
 Tithonus did with age decay ; 
 Fate may perhaps for me iupply 
 The hours fhe does to thce deny 
 
 And ftretch thy time of reft. 
 
 Round thee a hundred herds of kine 
 Sidlia's breed their throats combine; 
 The harncfs'd mare fit for the chaife 
 Docs for thy pride her neighings raife ; 
 Thy robes (how Tyrian dyes. 
 
 A little
 
 [ 220 j 
 
 A little farm is all my lot, 
 And Fortune gives to cheer my cot, 
 The fpirit of the Grecian Mufe, 
 And as her pleafing boon I ufe, 
 The vulgar to defpife. 
 
 LAMENTATIONS. C. III. v. 121. 
 
 I 
 
 PARAPHRASED. 
 
 Am the man that hath affliftion fcen, 
 On whom the rod of his dread wrath has been. 
 He hath me led in darknefs of the ni^ht, 
 And turn'd my footfteps from the paths of 
 
 light. 
 
 Sure he is chang'd and doth againfl me (land, 
 Againft me turneth all the day his hand. 
 My flefh and fkin aflume old-age's look ; 
 My fraftur'd bones their office have forfook. 
 He has encircled me with forrow's mound, 
 With gall and travel compaffed me round. 
 
 He
 
 He to dark places has my footfteps led, 
 Like thole who have for ages pad been dead. 
 He hath enclos'd me and forbid my flight, 
 And made my fetters of oppreflive weight ; 
 And when I fhout and rend with cries the air 
 He from his pref-nce fhutteth out my pray'r, 
 He hath confin'd me with a ftony mound, 
 And turn'd to labyrinths my paths around. 
 He like a bear in lurking ambufh lay, 
 A fecret lion, crouching for his prey : 
 My devious ways he has to error led, 
 And o'er my fragments ciefolation fpread. 
 'Twas againft me his bended bow he drew, 
 1 was the mark at which his arrows flew, 
 lie of the feather'd fhafts his quiver drains, 
 The deadly arrows enter in my reins. 
 My people in derifion mock'd my pain, 
 All day the objeft of their fcornful ftrain. 
 With bitter potions he has fill'd my foul, 
 \V ith woimwood mix'd the naufeating bowl. 
 
 My
 
 OOflCeOOCC30CCOODOCOt 
 
 My teeth with giavel he has broke away. 
 He on my head did covering afhes lay. 
 So far from peace thou bore me. I forgot 
 That ever I had known a profperous lot. 
 And "from the Lord," in deep difhefsl faid 
 "My hope and ftrength is utterly decay'd." 
 Remembrance brings my grief and pain to 
 
 view, 
 
 The wormwood and the gall my foul purfue. 
 My loul for ever bears them in her thought, 
 And is to deep humiliation brought. 
 This in my mind I ever will retain, 
 Therefore I hope, let not that hope be vain. 
 
 EPIGRAM, 
 The Mifer's Confutation. 
 
 Do Stocks advance, does Simple Intereft rife? 
 In this thy chief concern O Mortal lies : 
 To this alone fhould all thy thoughts be bent, 
 This be thy life's fole purpofe and intent.
 
 Say you fo Chryfts ? But what's that I hear, 
 ' What monitory founds alarm mine ear, 
 
 ' If I miflake not yonder pajjlng be.U 
 
 * Informs us Euclio nothing more will fell.' 
 
 1 What! has my friend refign'd his vital breath? 
 4 Well, I'm to have his Bufinefs at his death.* 
 
 SONNET. 
 
 J. N T thoughtlefs levity let youth's gay train, 
 
 Round diffipation's gaudy circuit rove; 
 The neftar'd goblet of LYAEUS drain, 
 
 Or prcfs HEOONE on the couch of love : 
 
 Say, (hall thefe pleafures in maturer years, 
 Still charm the fancy, ftill inchant the mind ? 
 
 Ah, no ; a vale of forrows fteep'd in tears 
 Man fhall his life in its progreffion find ; 
 
 Though light and fhade diversify the fcene, 
 'Tis varied fadnefs all, and differing pain, 
 
 And foon replunging in th' abyfs of fpleen, 
 Chill torpor paralizes every vein : 
 
 Say, can Religion make it's votaries bled, 
 
 Bid them from fublunary earth-born troubles reft ? 
 
 REBUS.
 
 CttO 
 
 REBUS. 
 
 Take the firfl letter of felicity, A 
 
 The fii ft of what we term conjunction by, ^ 
 The firft of that which has no entity, j 
 
 Of that which brings things mortal to decay, 
 Of thofe with which all creatures things fur- 
 
 vey, 
 
 Then that of what all women wifh to do, 
 A gentle Lady's name you'll con (true fo. 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 To a term us'd by weavers prefix half a clown, 
 And then what this Rebus implies will be 
 fhown. 
 
 Erratum in No. 27. 
 Page 210, Line 9, for fecure read enfure
 
 r 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 29. 
 
 TUESDAY, MAY ;th. 1798. 
 
 Sic animum tempufque traho meque ipje reduco 
 A contemplatujemoveoqut mali 
 Carmimbus qiuzro miferarum oblivia rerum 
 Prcemia sijtudio confequar ijiafat (ft. 
 
 OVID. Tnft. Lib. v. El. 8. 
 
 Thus I beguile the time, and lure my mind 
 From contemplation on my proper woes ; 
 
 From Verfe I feek forget futnefs tojind, 
 And gain my purpofe if I gain repofe. 
 
 CHARACTER of ANT10PE, 
 
 VERSIFIED FROM 
 
 FENELON's TELEMACHUS. 
 
 J. Know this difference, Mentor thus replies, 
 
 Antiope is gentle, mild, and wife, 
 
 Ff And
 
 And fweet fim^ licity devoid of art, 
 Finds a pure manfion in her fjvOtlcfs heart ; 
 Nor do her hands the houfcwifc's toil defpife, 
 She every want forefccs and each fupplies ; 
 Careful for each contingency provides ; 
 With Client hafle her p re fling bufmcfs glides: 
 Always employ'd, flic never is confus'd, 
 Fit time and place by her are always us'd. 
 Her father's houfhold rul'd and govern'd right 
 Is her chief glory and fupreme delight ; 
 A nobler tribute {he from thence receives 
 Than all the homage paid to beauty gives ! 
 And tho' the whole be fubjccl to her care. "\ 
 Tis her's to reprimand, deny, and fpare, V 
 From whence mo ft other women hated are ;) 
 Yet is flic Mill by the whole houie belov'd ; 
 Unvex'd by paffion, by caprice unmov'd, 
 She fhows no pertnefs, fullcnnefs. 'or fplccn, 
 Foibles which in her fex are often feen ; 
 
 She
 
 0*7] 
 
 She in a look can her commands convey, 
 \Vhich Jill with pleafure willingly obey. 
 \Vith clear precifion (he direfts alone, 
 And nothing orders but what may be done ; 
 Evenher reproofs (he can with kindnefs blend 
 And blame mifconduft only to amend. 
 She is the folace of her father's cares ; 
 To her his weary mind for reft repairs, 
 As the faint traveller opprefs'd with heat, 
 Does to the fhelter of the grove retreat, 
 On the foft turf his languid limbs he throws, 
 And taftcs the bleflings of fecure repofe. 
 By the pon~efnon of Antiope 
 The moft laborious iearch repaid would be' 
 Her mind by iplendid trifles undebas'd, 
 Is, like her pcrfon, dcck'ci by trueft tafte . 
 Her lively fancy feels difcretion's rein ; 
 She only fpeaks when fhe fhould not refrain , 
 But foft perfuafion dwells upon her tongue, 
 
 And artlefs grace is mix'd her words among; 
 
 As
 
 (-228 j 
 
 As all attentive liflen whilfl fhe fpeaks, 
 The rifing blufhes overfpread her cheeks : 
 By confcious modefty her words reprefl 
 Can fcarcc cxprcfs the dictates of her brer. ft. 
 
 Antiope is now a royal maid, 
 
 "With every charming elegance array'd, 
 
 With all the gifts exalted birth can bring 
 
 Her fire Idomeneus, Saltntum's king; 
 
 But had it been her humble lot to keep 
 
 On Algidum's bleak heights her fleecy fhecp, 
 
 Still fuch exalted merit to poflcis, 
 
 Would be at once Renown and Happinefs. 
 
 The following Imitations are from 
 Greek Poets. 
 
 FROM PHCENICIDES. 
 
 Truly I will forlake this harlot's trade, 
 
 1 am fo often biUCd, lo poorly paid ; 
 
 Indeed
 
 Indeed I'll bid it evermore adieu ; 
 And judge me Pythias, I appeal to you 
 Who have- yourielf a better fortune got, 
 If I in quitting it do right or not ? 
 When firft I was a courtezan profeft, 
 By chance a hindering foklier me addreft, 
 Who told his fkirmifhes in various w<<rs, 
 Brag'd of his mighty deeds and ihow'd his, 
 
 fears, 
 But brought no money : only fwore, " that 
 
 , when 
 i: The king paid him, he'd rccompenfe me 
 
 then : " 
 
 Thus a whole year with him I fool'd away. 
 And for his cuftom went without my pay. 
 I left him. Then engaging with a q.iack, 
 Throughout the time I every thing did lack, 
 For he was poor, and fuch a butchering dog, 
 I hated him worfe than the foldier rogue : 
 This talk'd of killing to difpiay his wit. 
 But t'other actual murders did commit. 
 Then I a grave philofopher's became, 
 Whofe beard, and cloak, and f^eech, were 
 
 much the fame ; 
 
 This,
 
 f 2 3 
 
 )ooooocoo=eo 
 
 This, to fay truly, was the word of all 
 The very word mifchance did me befall : 
 lie gave me nothing ; and the furly knave, 
 "Whene'er I did a little money crave, 
 AVould ftcrnly anfwcr, " Hence, away, be 
 
 gone, 
 * p Money's an Evil I will give you none.-" 
 
 FROM EUBULUS. 
 
 I but three bumpers fill for prudent men : 
 The fir ft is for the fake of health ; and then 
 The next for love and pleafure we fhould take, 
 And of the third a flceping potion make : 
 And thofe who with to keep of wife the name, 
 \Vill then go home as quiet as they came. 
 For the fourth goblet never is our own, 
 When mirth to noify petulance is grown. 
 The fifth wild clamour and confufion fhows, 
 The fixth brings madnefs and proceeds to 
 
 blows ; 
 
 For wine drank largely on the toper fteals, 
 Supplants his fcnfes and trips up his heels. 
 
 FROM
 
 40ooooe>oooooooooM 
 
 FROM PHILIPPIDES. 
 
 If fortune has thy lot unhappy made, 
 Remember what Euripides has faid, 
 '"' No man is wholly and compleatly bleft ; " 
 And thou art but one wretch amongft the reft. 
 
 SONNET. 
 
 J.F Heaven has deftin'd me through life to mourn, 
 
 At the ftern fentence muft not I repine ? 
 If from the cradle to the funeral urn, 
 
 The difrnal dole of dark defpair be mine : 
 
 If it avails not that with guarded thought 
 
 I try the paths of felfifhnefs to fhun ; 
 Doom'd ne'er to compafs what my wifhes fought, 
 
 In fad diftraftion I life's circuit run. 
 
 Though pure my thought, though fpotlefs be my deed, 
 
 If all in enmity 'gainft me combine, 
 Can I againfl an adverfe world fucceed, 
 
 And cry triumphantly I'll not repine ? ' 
 
 Alas! traduc'd, revil'd, defam'd, oppreft, 
 XJnceafing anguifh flill muft defolate my breaft. 
 
 REBUS.
 
 REBUS. 
 
 PERIPATETICS plainly will declare 
 The appellation of the Sifters fair, 
 Whofe charms a numerous train of fuitor* 
 
 praile, 
 And whofe perfections merit plaufive lays. 
 
 EPIGRAM, 
 
 You Oiv, Pkilargyrus, that whilft you live 
 You will not me one (hilling give ; 
 And arc befides fo true a friend, 
 You'll not to me one penny lend ; 
 But when you die you will take care 
 I of your wealth (hall have my {hare. 
 Philargyrus, fhall I fpcak true 
 (To inch a friend, fure truth is due), 
 If vou were circumftanc'd like me, 
 Pray tell me what your wifh would be ?
 
 2 33 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 30. 
 
 TUESDAY, MAY itfh. 1798. 
 
 W HOEVER wifhes to delight us, 
 Should not begin, like Heraditus, 
 To fall into a fit of whining, 
 At circumftances ftill repining; 
 But, like Democritus, fhould make 
 His own and readers' fhoulders ache ; 
 When fudden merriment convulfes 
 Their fides and agitates their pulfes, 
 They're tickled with they know not 'what."} 
 Are pleas'd with this, and then with that, V 
 f ho' grave before as any cat. ) 
 
 Now this is always my odd way, 
 (Hang me if I know what to fay,) 
 
 G g And
 
 C 2 34 
 
 And I'm not like a young beginner, 
 
 Having been long a harden'd linner, 
 
 Who have offenfive been, " Lord keep us/' 
 
 In Anagram, Charade, and Rebus; 
 
 And (mitten with new influenzas 
 
 Italian Extravaganzas, 
 
 In Englifh doggrel imitated, 
 
 And dar'd to call the fluff tranflated. 
 
 The man who does with awl and wax, 
 
 In fhoe-leather repair the cracks, 
 
 Who as he twifls the flax and bri flies, 
 
 With a clear confidence fings and whittles ; 
 
 He calls himfelf indeed tranflator 
 
 Of fhoes, but not a fabricator ; 
 
 Or be he e'er fo great a knave, 
 
 Still charms his confcicnce with a Have ; 
 
 This man I fay, is afting right, 
 
 Who works and fings from morn to night ; 
 
 And carelefs of a cuckold's horn, 
 
 Profoundly fleeps from night to morn : 
 
 Nov.*
 
 2 35 
 
 But by my faith and honeity, "% 
 
 This Anomaliae is a fpy, \ 
 
 Who does in wait for mifchief lie : j 
 
 Whene'er he would feem wond'rous wife 
 
 With hard words he flill ftupefies ; 
 
 And when he tries to aim at mirth, 
 
 The brat's flill (Irangled at the birth ; 
 
 For ever he's wrong fubjefts chufing, 
 
 And therefore's never worth perufing : 
 
 He never will be fit, I'm clear, 
 
 " To carry guts unto a bear, " 
 
 As the great Peter Pindar fays, 
 
 *' Pindarum quisquis emulari, 
 
 ' Studet," fays Horace, can't mifcarry : 
 
 Whether his fong has any meaning 
 
 Or no, you'll hardly keep the fpleen in ; 
 
 For laughing will difcufs your choler, 
 
 This I can tell, tliough I'm no fcholar ; 
 
 And from it's temporary labour, 
 
 You'll think more kindly of your neighbour.
 
 <J Un kommc qid rit" fays Yorick's travels, 
 
 Never at ftates or princes cavils, 
 
 He's therefore " Jamais dangereux, " 
 
 I really think the Count fpoke true: 
 
 'Twas the lean Cassius and Brutus 
 
 (Thefe cramp hard Latin names don't fuit us), 
 
 That ftruck with panic Caius jidius 
 
 Ccesar, if writers tell it truly us, 
 
 And gave the city fuch a frightening 
 
 They thought it had been ftruck with light 
 
 ening ; 
 
 Sure there was never fuch a fcene piece 
 The Moon appear'd jufl like a green cheefe.. 
 Hey !*-o'er the clouds I've vaulted foon, 
 And got again into the Moon : 
 I run fuch queer and aukward rig, 
 You'll think me mounted on a pig. 
 And fay my mufe of fire is a Sus, 
 "A fow" I mean, not a Pegasus. 
 
 From
 
 [ 237 1 
 
 From which Bellcrophon was thrown, 
 
 And neck and heels came tumbling down . 
 
 Wanting to do more than mankind did, 
 
 He tumbled off, and fo was blinded, 
 
 Upon my faith, a lucky hint 
 
 Which teaches me my rhymes to flint, 
 
 Leaft I who ride the Mufe's afs, } 
 
 Like Babel's king be fent to grafs ; V 
 
 'Tvvould be a difmal lot, alas ! J 
 
 And whilfl I think folks me admiring, 
 
 I find I only am them tiring. 
 
 No farther then I'll ftretch intrufion y 
 
 But haflen to a prompt conclusion, 
 
 And -let the nonfenfe I have penn'd, 
 
 Which has no meaning have ?n end. 
 
 Further Imitations from Greek Poets. 
 
 FROM SOTADES. 
 
 Although thou art a King, O mortal ! hear, 
 If much thou fpit,thou'rt phlegmatic 'tis clear. 
 
 What
 
 2 3 8 J 
 
 What tho' thy limbs in fined fluff be clad ? 
 The fheep before thee the u>me covering had. 
 And if with glittering gold thy garments fhine? 
 'Tis fortune has advanc'd thole fleps of thine. 
 Say, art thou rich ? to chance thou art a Have; 
 Or infolent ? 'tis madnefs makes thee rave. 
 But if with graceful modefly thou move, 
 This is a prefent fiom the Gods above : 
 And if true modefty indeed be thine, 
 Meafure thy paces by her Rule and Line. 
 
 FROM MENANDER. 
 
 You talk of wealth it quickly glides away ; 
 But if you could enfure it's conftant flay, 
 You're right your long collected florcs pof- 
 
 fcfs, 
 Share them with none to make your portion 
 
 iefs. 
 
 But if on chance this boa fled wealth depends, 
 Why not impart your bounty to your friends ? 
 Fortune may quickly you of it deprive, 
 And to fome undcferving perfon give ; 
 
 Whilft
 
 [ 2 39 
 
 M'hilft you are able, freely then beflow, 
 In noble ufes let your riches flow ; 
 Reward your friends, to all affiftance bring, 
 'Tis an immortal and a glorious thing ! f 
 Nor fear of empty coffers to complain, 
 For money thus employ'd, returns again. 
 
 SONNET. 
 
 V> AN anxious thought, folicitude and care, 
 The Deftinies' ftern dictates contravene ? 
 
 Can Prudence Fortune's negligence repair, 
 
 And claim exemption fiom each rueful fcene ? 
 
 Ah ! no ; involv'd in an impervious gloom, 
 
 Futurity's impenetrable (hade 
 From unenlighten'd mortals hides the doom, 
 
 Immutable Omnipotence has made. 
 
 In vain with feeble and unequal power 
 
 We try the paths of Happinefs to find ; 
 Perplexities augmenting every hour, 
 
 Harrafs the judgment and diftrefs the mind : 
 
 WHAT WILL BE, WILL BE : never yet was knpwn 
 Man who could make Felicity his own. 
 
 CHARADE.
 
 [240 j 
 
 CHARAD E. 
 
 Ye lovers of trifles, pray let it be faid 
 No longer I know not to make a Charade ; 
 I've found out a fubjeft fo charmingly clever, 
 That all would employ themfelves with it for 
 
 ever : 
 Three-fourths of the planet whofe fhadowy 
 
 light 
 
 Is faid to be pleafing to each fairy fpright, 
 Will give you my firft; and to find out my 
 
 fecond, 
 Two-thirds of an organ of fight mufl be rec- 
 
 kon'd : 
 
 Proceeding thus far you a whole may divine, 
 Which I'm apprehenfive will never be mine. 
 
 EPIGRAMMATIC THOUQHT. 
 
 If Life protracted be protrafted Woe, 
 As the grave leflbns of the Sages (how ; 
 Then why of Life fhould Man defirous be ? 
 Since lengthened Life is lengthen'd Mifery.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 31. 
 
 TUESDAY, MAY 2d. 1798. 
 TRANSLATION. 
 
 TO 
 
 ARISTIUS FUSCUS. 
 
 HORACE, L. I. Ode xxii. 
 
 H E upright man whcfc life is pure 
 From guilt, undaunted walks fccure, 
 Fuscus, he needs no Moorifh arts, 
 Nor quiver loaded with envenom'd darts ; 
 
 Should he mid (I raging quickfands ftray, 
 Or take o'er faVage Caucasus his way, 
 Or go where fam'd Hydaspes' tide 
 Through fabled realms is faid to glide. 
 
 H h For
 
 For as in Sabine woods I ftray'd, 
 And fung my LA LACE, " 1'weet maid ! " 
 A Wolf appear'd, but feiz'd with dread 
 From me unann'd dirtftly fled. 
 
 No bead of fuch tremendous fize 
 In wild Apulia's thickets lies, 
 Nor Juba's land whofe arid plain 
 The Lion's offspring does maintain. 
 
 Place me on fome un genial coaft 
 Which ne'er the fummer breeze did bo? ft, 
 The World's dark fide, which Jove in fpite 
 With fogs and tempefts does affiight ; 
 
 Or place me where the fultry fky 
 
 Does to mankind ^bode deny ; 
 
 I dill will love my LA LAG E 
 
 Who fweetly fpeaks and finiles on Me. 
 
 FROM PIIILIPPIDES. 
 
 If you an ugly wife for money wed, 
 You get good victuals but an irklome bed.
 
 FROM MENANDER. 
 
 You would Trophimus, have juft caufe to- 
 
 grieve, 
 
 If on thefe terms you being did receive, 
 That you (hould always to your liking live : 
 If it were Ib, you might indeed be wroth 
 As tho' the Deity had broke his oath ; 
 But if you breathe the air or tread the ground 
 By the fame laws with which mankind are 
 
 bound, 
 
 I tell you ferioufly your part of care 
 You muft with moderation calmly bear : 
 Know in a word, "presume no more to scan y " 
 Unhappy mortal you were born a Man ; 
 Man of all creatures weakeft is confeft, 
 Is loon exalted and is foon depreft. 
 
 FROM
 
 [ 244 j 
 
 FROM THE SAME. 
 
 I thought the Rich, who have no need to 
 
 borrow, 
 Might live ( my Phania !} always without 
 
 forrow ; 
 
 Might foundly fleep, content and tranquil be r 
 And never cry 'Alas ! ' and ' \Voc is me ! ' 
 Or on their pillow tofs in reftlcfs pain, 
 And feek all night for quietnefs in vain : 
 But tranquil Kale avoids the great-man's door, 
 And peaceful {lumbers only Llcfs the poor : 
 I fee ye Great who are in name fo bled. 
 That if we luffer, fo are you uiftrcft.' 
 
 FROM TIMOCLES. 
 
 I p" ray thee to my words attention pay, 
 For 'twill be ufcful to hear what I fay. 
 Know that unhappy Man is fonn'd by Na- 
 ture, 
 
 A moft calamitous and wretched creature ; 
 That even the gift of Being with it bears' 
 Repeated forrows and continued cares. 
 
 But
 
 I 2 45 J 
 
 But to it's evils offers this relief, 
 
 To (often hardfhip and alleviate grief; 
 
 Forgetful of it's own, the thinking mind 
 
 From others' woes may consolation find, 
 
 And placing various fcei.es of life in view, 
 
 It's patient perfevcrancc ir.ay renew. 
 
 Think ( if thou dar'lt ) what the Tragedians 
 
 tell 
 
 Of dire events which other men befel. 
 Let him who is by Poverty rlepreil, 
 View Tdephus a mendicant diftreft, . 
 So (hall to him th' accumulated weight 
 Of his own penury appear more light. 
 Let him whofe griefs perplex his madd'ning 
 
 brain, 
 
 Think of Alcmceon and from Rage refrain. 
 Let him whole eyes are robb'd of chearful 
 
 light, 
 
 Remember Oedipus deprivVi of fight. 
 To him who (hall his darling child furvive, 
 Let weeping Niobe fad comfort give. 
 And let the man whole L ah ing foot is' lame, 
 Remember PhiloSetes was the iame. 
 To him who lingers forrowful 2nd old, 
 Let the (ad tale of Oeneus be told.
 
 f 246 j 
 
 He who confiders with impartial eyes 
 The griefs of others and their miieries, 
 \Yill learn iriore patiently to bear his own. 
 "When theirs are full as great 'tis clearly 
 fhown. 
 
 SONNET. 
 FROM THE RUSSIAN. 
 
 "BF.I.O, LEETZO, KROUGLO, LEETZO," &C. 
 
 JL AIREST charmer, void cf art, 
 Ruddy darling of my heart ; 
 Give me earneft in a kifs, 
 Fledge of greater future blifs ; 
 Blifs which thou alone canfl give, 
 Which I only muft receive ; 
 Buxom health thy looks declare, 
 Wanton thoughts thy golden hair; 
 
 In thy black and rolling eye, 
 
 I can Pleafure's pifture fpy ; 
 
 Cupid there I fee the Boy 
 
 Urges thee to tafte of joy ; 
 
 Yes my Fair, we'll more than tafte f 
 We will jnake a rich repafl. 
 
 SONNET
 
 [ =47 ] 
 
 OSOOOOOOOOOSOOO'500* 
 
 SONNET to tht SWALLOW. 
 
 JL HE SWALLOW comes, fair harbinger of Spring 
 She comes and leads the beauteous hours along ; 
 Where'er me fportive waves her dappled wing, 
 The joyous Loves and frolic Plcalures throng : 
 
 Now let your chearful gates be open'd wide, 
 And let the entrance all prepar'd appear ; 
 
 Gay Youth with fmiling Fancy by his fide, 
 Not peevifh Age demands admittance here. 
 
 Come, CHELIDONIS ! though thy tranfient flay 
 Scarce laft through Summer's temporary reign, 
 
 Ere thou to torrid climes fhalt wing thy way, 
 And mifls Autumnal moiften every plain : 
 
 Reflexion here flops Pleafure's carclefs fong, 
 Inhibiting Mankind t'indulge in Rapture long. 
 
 ANAGRAM. 
 
 Tranfpofing Profpe&s you will find 
 Maids when in Matrimony join'd. 
 
 I have
 
 I have been favoured with the following 
 ACROSTIC REBUS. 
 
 An animal mark'd for ftupidity ; 
 
 The term we call a {hallow fellow by ; 
 
 Then that conceited fowl which fhuns the 
 
 light ; 
 
 A creature noted for mifchievous fpite ; 
 Thut reptile which hears not the charmer's 
 voice, [ ploys ; 
 
 And what the Devil his tongue in (till em- 
 \Vhat we the Devil's underJtrappers c;ill : 
 1 he Dunce, his wife entic'd to'eat and fall ; 
 That wife who was the ruin of us all : 
 Of thefe tlr initials 1 would have you take, 
 And try what word they plac'd in Order make ; 
 Ar;i that you may not be to gucfiing ftinted, 
 They lho\v the dullc'l fluff that e'er was print- 
 ed. 
 
 EPIGRAM, 
 
 Says Pinchclofe to Grafpall all people agree 
 That thou'rt a more niggardly fellow than me : 
 Says Grafpall to Pinchclofe I thought folks 
 were wifcr [Mifer; 
 
 Than make any difference 'twixt this or that 
 'Tis thou lay 'ft all by, whilft I rake all toge- 
 ther, , 
 There fhould be a preference given to neither,
 
 1 <M9 J 
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 OOOOCOOQCOOO 00000000 
 
 No. 32. 
 
 TUESDAY, MAY 2gth. 1798. 
 
 nr 
 
 JL II E following Ballad, in which the fim- 
 plicity of that unaflecied diftion (fometime 
 ago the prevailing tafte) has been attempted 
 to be prcferved, was begun feveral years fmcc, 
 but a variety of tircumftances difsgreeable to 
 the Writer prevented it's being finifhed ; and 
 the original fketches of it being loft, many 
 of the ftanzas which were obliterated from 
 his remembrance, he has been neceffarily o- 
 bliged to fupply by fome of a more novel 
 compofition, though perhaps the primitive 
 I i con-
 
 connexion of incident cannot be completely 
 reftored ; and it is not without confideiablc 
 hefitation that he ventures to produce it. 
 
 HUBERT and MATILDA. 
 An ENGLISH Ballad. 
 
 " Nugae quc canorae." 
 
 XT was when Richard England's king 
 
 The Holy Crofs affum'd, 
 When trees did bud and flowers did fpring 
 
 And all the country bloom'd ; 
 
 T\vas then young Hubert left his bed, 
 
 As day's returning dawn, 
 In orient fides her blufhes fpread, 
 
 And crimlou'd o'er the lawn. 
 
 With
 
 With heavy heart did Hubert rife, 
 
 With grief unufual prefl ; 
 Whilft tears flood gathering in his eyes 
 
 And anguifh fill'd his breaft. 
 
 A while in mufing thought he flood- 
 Then penfive took his way, 
 
 To the lov'd cottage in the wood, 
 In which Matilda lay. 
 
 At thought of her his mind dilates. 
 
 His wifhes all expand; 
 His throbbing bofom palpitates 
 
 With what his ardour plann'd. 
 
 Matilda was the fairefl maid 
 
 That dwelt by Deva's fide ; 
 Her form the Graces had array 'd 
 
 Her heart was free from pride : 
 
 She did not wifh, like ladies now, 
 That crowds fhould her admire ; 
 
 She reign'd the queen of Hubert's vow, 
 And could no more require. 
 
 Content
 
 Content with love for love return'd, 
 She fought no prouder fpheres -, 
 
 Her virgin heart had never mourn'd 
 She was unus'd to tears. 
 
 Thus calm the Halcyon takes her re ft 
 , By the fmooth water's fide ; 
 Thus unfufpe&ing builds her ncfl, 
 Clofe verging on the tide : 
 
 Th' autumnal fhowcr (he docs not dread. 
 
 Nor yet the brumal froft ; 
 She fees fair fummcr's mantle fprcad 
 
 In all it's gaudy boail : 
 
 Nor knows the time approaching nem 
 When fummer's verdure flies ; 
 
 When chilling frofts deform the year, 
 And howling tcmncits rile. 
 
 Ah ! fure fuch quiet to deftroy, 
 
 To vex that gentle mind, 
 Could but a favage heart employ, 
 
 Inhuman and unkind ! 
 
 Was
 
 O53] 
 
 Was Hubert of ungentle rcce, 
 
 Had he a ruthlefs breafl ? 
 No, gentle pity you might trace 
 
 In all his looks impreit : 
 
 No, though to martial honour bred, 
 
 He fcorn'd to harbour fear ; 
 Yet by each fofter paffion led, 
 
 His love was love finccre. 
 
 He rciich'd Matilda's humble home, 
 
 Still there a welcome gueft 
 He was. and why then fhould he roatr. i' 
 
 There only he was bleft. 
 
 The helmet on his brows did fhinc ; 
 
 The felf fame mail he bore, 
 Which on the plains of Pale (tine 
 
 His uncle Godfrey wore. 
 
 He felt the helmet on his brow 
 
 Then firft uneafy prove ; 
 For though to arms cngag'd by vow r 
 
 He was a flave to love. 
 
 When
 
 [ '54 ] 
 
 When an enthufiaftic train 
 
 Did Richard's ardour join, 
 Attempting with endeavour vain 
 
 To refcae Faleftine, 
 
 Amongil the reft th'aroufmg call 
 
 O.i Hubert was imprcll ; 
 And loon the " Crofs of Father Paul " 
 
 Depended o'er his breaft. 
 
 He call'd : Matilda foon arofe, 
 
 His lately promis'd bride ; 
 But with a mind prefaging woes, 
 
 Soon as that crofs fhe fpy'd. 
 
 I come, ' he cry'd. ' my darling maii, 
 'To bid my love adieu, 
 Awhile in glittering ftcel array'd 
 4 1 honour muft puifue. 
 
 ' I have that honour pledg'd my queen 1 
 
 'That gallant band to join, 
 4 Who from the furious Hagarene, 
 
 ' Will refcue Paleflinc : 
 
 'And
 
 And I muft thither bend my way, 
 
 ' For Joppa ruin'd lies ; 
 And on the walls of Solyma, 
 
 ' The conquering crefcents rife.' 
 
 Thou (halt not thither bend thy way'--- 
 
 (With fault'ring voice {he cries) 
 1 Though on the towers of Solyma, 
 ' A thoufand crefcents rife : 
 
 ' No, did thine aid thy country need, 
 
 ' I'd not thy wifh deny ; 
 ' Say, who for England would not bleed, 
 
 ' For England would not die ? 
 
 ' But all uncounfell'd to obey 
 
 ' A wild enthufiaft's call ; 
 ' Forgive me, Hubert, if i fay, 
 
 ' It cannot well befall. ' 
 
 ' Alas ! ' he cries, ' I did me plight, 
 
 Mine honour is at flake ; 
 ' And wouldft thou me a rt-crcant knight, 
 
 ' A {lain to honour make P 
 
 'Oh,
 
 1 256 J 
 
 1 Oh, no ! Matikla we fhall meet 
 ' In hsppier hours than thefo ; 
 
 'And thou my glad return fhsll greet, 
 'Whoa all thy troubles ceafe.' 
 
 In vain with foothing fpeech he .ftrove 
 To calm the love-lick maid ; 
 
 And did himfelf it's anguifh prove, 
 Which on his vitals prey'd. 
 
 But thou muft go, ill fated youth ! 
 
 "What does thy lot prepare ? 
 Or is the recompense for truth 
 
 Diflraftion and defpair ? 
 
 (To be continued. J 
 
 ANAGRAM. 
 
 The fmalleflof creatures, tranfpofing it clever, 
 Will clearly difplay what endureth forever. 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 Tis odd the fweeteft flower fhould make 
 An ulcer, if it right you take.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 33. 
 
 TUESDAY, JUKE 5 th. 1798. 
 
 HUBERT and MATILDA. 
 (Continued. ) 
 
 J.A. H ! who can fpeak love's lafl farewel ; 
 
 What language can recite ? 
 What eloquence pathetic tell ; 
 
 W T hat powerful pen can write ? 
 
 'Tis pad my humble pencil's art 
 
 Their-parting to poiirtray ; 
 But every tender feeling heart 
 
 That parting can difplay. 
 
 My labouring verfe I pray you fparc, - 
 
 Imagine Hubert gone ; 
 And figure to yourfelf the fair 
 
 Deje&ed left alone. 
 
 Kk O'er
 
 O'er many a fea did Hubert ftray, 
 O'er many a diftant flrand ; 
 
 Urg'd he his melancholy way, 
 Through many a barbarous band. 
 
 Still did ill fortune him purfue, 
 Where'er he pafs'd his days ; 
 
 In Rhodes, in Crete, in Cyprus too, 
 He fought the meed of praife. 
 
 But merit cannot flill in life 
 
 Deferv'd fuccefs obtain ; 
 Oft doom'd to fuffer toil and flrife, 
 
 Link'd in misfortune's chain. 
 
 But now the crowds who ardent went 
 
 The Holy Land to win, 
 Expcfting in that wifh'd event, 
 
 To free themfelves from fin ; 
 
 Nor they the Holy Land could win, 
 
 And Solyma regain ; 
 The martial (kill of Saladdin 
 
 Made all their valour vain. 
 
 We
 
 [ *5 
 
 We need not tell what deaths were dealt 
 liow glow'd each fierce alarm? 
 
 Or how the mighty Soldan felt 
 The force of Richard's arm ? 
 
 How ever faithlefs, perjur'd France 
 The Chriflian caufe betray'd ? 
 
 How thro' their armies, dire mifchance 
 Dillrufl and fear convey'd ? 
 
 Each day difaftrous news did bring, 
 
 And rife reports abound, 
 That Auftria's duke had England's king 
 
 In triple fetters bound: 
 
 That wide difpers'd the gallant peers, 
 
 Who Syria fought to free, 
 Had mourning Europe fiii'd with tears, 
 
 By this calamity. 
 
 That widow'd wives and orphans fad, 
 
 In every ftate did mourn ; 
 And wept in fable fackcloth clad 
 
 Friends never to return : 
 
 And
 
 [ 2 6o] 
 
 And did Matilda's conftancy 
 
 At this lad news abide ? 
 Did fhe retain her purity 
 
 When in the furnace try'd ? 
 
 Ah ! never yet for faith unflain'd, 
 Was changeful woman known ; 
 
 The female virtues are but feign'd- 
 Their faults are all their own. 
 
 Forbear my Mufe in peevifh lays 
 
 The facred fex to wrong, 
 Thou oft haft known the meed of praife 
 
 Of right to them belong : 
 
 Forbear the difappointed train 
 
 Of fnarling wits to join -, 
 From all afperity refrain, 
 
 Let not mean fpite be thine. 
 
 Did grandeur lure thee, lucklefs maid ! 
 
 Her fplendid paths to tread ? 
 Did pride in filken pomp array'd, 
 
 For thee her mefhes fpread ? 
 
 Yes,-
 
 Yes, pride for thee the filken fnare 
 
 Held out, tlie golden lure 
 Attractive did for thee prepare, 
 
 To tempt a heart fo pure. 
 
 The glare of grandeur dimm'd her eyes, 
 
 Her judgment iurn'd afide ; 
 And by repeated flatteries, 
 
 Her mind grew fraught with pride. 
 
 She liflen'd to the ready tale 
 
 By foolifh coxcombs told ; 
 Thofe who in danger's field look pale. 
 
 But are in chambers bold. 
 
 She little then of Hubert thought, 
 
 Who o'er the burning foil, 
 'Midfl death the furious Moflcms fought. 
 
 And bore inceflant toil. 
 
 Abandon'd all to pleafure's call, 
 She join'd the giddy throng, 
 
 Whofi banquets fill the fcflive hall 
 Who raiie tne carelefs long : 
 
 Yet
 
 [ 262 
 
 Yet Mill her fancy oft would rove 
 
 Back to the rural dale, 
 Where fir ft fhe heard the voice of love 
 
 In Hubert's welcome tale : 
 
 Oft back to innocence and peace 
 
 Her fancy lov'd to ftray, 
 Whofe pleafures pure did never ceafe 
 
 Throughout the live long day. 
 
 The flowery glade, th' embowering wood, 
 The vale, the haunted llrcam, 
 
 Upon whofe filver-bofom'd flood 
 Bright fhone the moon-tide beam, 
 
 All thefe remembrance brought to view, 
 There fhe with Hubert ftray'd ; 
 
 There did he oft his vows renew 
 And love's foft homage paid. 
 
 And can fhe ever then forget 
 What tranfport fill'd his bread ? 
 
 What rapture every time they met 
 His features all exprcft ?
 
 No, never can her heart forget, 
 Whilft beating in her bread, 
 
 How every grace in Hubert met, 
 What truth did him inveft ! 
 
 In vain does grandeur fpread her net. 
 
 And adulation try 
 Her artificial gins to fet 
 
 T' entangle purity. 
 
 Shall not affection's hallow'd flame 
 To thefe fuperior prove ? 
 
 Can thefe advance a flronger claim 
 To that of genuine love ? 
 
 Yet there are mercenary fouls 
 (Pardon my devious thought), 
 
 Whom luft of gain alone controuls, 
 Who always may be bought : 
 
 But never fhall thofe fordid minds 
 
 True fatibfaftion prove, 
 Ne'er know the blifs that virtue finds,- 
 
 Ne'er feel the throb of love. 
 
 Let
 
 [ 264 ] 
 
 Let them poflefs the harden'd heart, 
 To counterpoife their (lore ; 
 
 To thofe who aft a fordid part, 
 A curie is golden ore : 
 
 For ever wretched is the brcaft 
 Where lufl of gold prefides ; 
 
 How is the ruthlefs mind unblefl, 
 Which felfifli intereft guides ! 
 
 It feels no gentle fympathy, 
 Nor fhares another's joys ; 
 
 Still doom'd unto itfelf to be 
 
 The fcorpion that deftroys : > 
 
 (The Conclunon in my next.} 
 
 ANAGRAM. 
 Aright tranfpofing dirty beads, 
 Will fhow the drink at fplendid feafls. 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 Tranfpofe the emblems of his trade, 
 The God of War will be difplay'd.
 
 ANOMALIAE. 
 
 No. 34. 
 
 TUESDAY, JUNE i2th. 1798. 
 
 HUBERT and MATILDA. 
 (' Concluded. J 
 
 JLJUT why fhould thus reflexions ftale 
 
 My narrative delay? 
 Let me refuming of my talc, 
 
 Young Hubert's fate difplay. 
 
 And why cannot the feeling heart 
 
 The generous purpofe fave, 
 From dcftiny's miftakcn dart 
 
 The liberal minded brave? 
 
 Why can it not ? furc HeavCn ordains 
 Thole whom it's powers approve, 
 
 Through life cxpos'd to fharpeft pains 
 In mifcry fhould rove. . 
 
 L 1 - Thro 1
 
 Thro' want, thro' toils, thro' vales of blood, 
 
 Thro' unabating woe ; 
 Still ftruggling with affliction's flood, 
 
 Did haplefs Hubert go. 
 
 For him no trophies conqueft rais'd, 
 
 No laurel garlands twin'd ; 
 Alone, unrecompenb'd, unprais'd, 
 
 He melancholy pin'd : 
 
 And now' the vain puriuit he leaves, 
 
 A hopelefs caufe foi fakes; 
 And with a heart that inward grieves, 
 
 His homeward fteps he takes. 
 
 Well may internal cares perplex 
 
 His agitated bread ; 
 Diflruft and diie prefagings vex, 
 
 And rob his foul of reft. 
 
 What gratulation {hall he find ? 
 
 What welcome fhall he prove ? 
 Do all his friends continue kind, 
 
 And conftant flill his love ? 
 
 Alas !
 
 [ 2 6 7 ] 
 
 Alas ! this boafted friendfhip glows 
 
 With an uncertain flame, 
 And love itfelf experience {hows 
 
 Continues not the fame. 
 
 Had he return'd with orient fpoils, 
 Of gold and gems poffeft ; 
 
 How had" he been with ready fmiles 
 And proffer'd fervice preft : 
 
 But cold indifference ftill awaits 
 
 The unannounc'd return, 
 Of him whom unpropitious fates 
 
 Have doom'd thro' life to mourn. 
 
 No grattilations meet his ears, . 
 
 No "euges" fpeak his praifc, 
 No clamorous eager crowd appears, 
 
 The loud acclaim to raife. 
 
 But tho'.thus mute applaufe's tongue, 
 Yet muttering {lander's voice 
 
 Unfolds of lies a tiffue long, 
 \V ith far refounding noife. 
 
 Thefe
 
 268 
 
 Tbcfe reprcfcnt his fhte forlorn 
 From his ill conduit flows ; 
 
 That poverty of vice is born, 
 Which prudence never knows. 
 
 Though he by ancient fav/s -advis'd 
 And fkih'i in m x : ms f ge, 
 
 Vulgar inconstancy dcl'^i.>'fl. 
 Nor once gave way to rage. 
 
 But he was further dcom'd to hear.-- 
 Was further doom'd to know, 
 
 A pang more cruelly feverc, 
 A more decifive blow. 
 
 Alas ! not baffled hopes of fame, 
 
 Not pain, nor poverty, 
 Neglect, difgrace, contempt, and fhamc. 
 
 To this could equal be. 
 
 All other ills may be rcti iev'd, 
 
 May be by chance repaid, 
 Save friendihip that has been decciv'cl,- 
 
 And love that is hctrnv'd ; 
 
 But
 
 But friendfliip that has been betray'd, 
 
 C--L. iicvcr ir.oie confide ; 
 And love a fugitive once made, 
 
 Can never be fupply'd.- 
 
 Embroi.z'd w.th toil, impreft with fcars^ 
 
 In garments coarie and old, 
 He brought the hardfhips of the war, 
 
 But nut their boaftecl gold. 
 
 Unknowing where he means to ftray, 
 
 His devious tcotfteps tend, 
 Where a new paramour io g;<y 
 
 Matilda did attend : 
 
 Her well known features fix'd his eye,- 
 
 Cold palencis overlpread 
 His fhivering limbs and inftantly 
 
 He mingled with the dead. 
 
 What horrors did her he?.rt appal, 
 What was her wretched (late ? 
 
 She recogmYd him in his fall, 
 And failing, fhar'd his fate.* 
 
 * Here feems to be fome refemblance to Tickell's Bal- 
 lad of Colin and Lucy, which however the Writer of 
 ihefe ftanzas did not recoiled till they were finifhed. 
 
 Sure
 
 [ 270 J 
 
 Sure if there be no place of red, 
 
 Of retribution none ; 
 If thofe whom here misfortune prefi. 
 
 Be to oblivion gone ; 
 
 Then furely thofe were made in vain, 
 Whom forrow flill attends, 
 
 Who whilft they live exift in pain. 
 Whofe life in nothing ends. 
 
 But Heaven's own oracles declare 
 To thofe who virtuous be, 
 
 Though dark life's intricacies are, 
 A bleft Eternity. 
 
 SONNET.
 
 SONNET. 
 
 ,/X.ND fhall the Soul releas'd from cumb'rous clay, 
 
 By an Omnipo'-ent fupreme command, 
 To Realms asthereal wing her mining way, 
 
 And in an Empyrean bright expand ? 
 
 This Emanation of Celeftial fire, 
 
 From Heaven deicended fhall it Heaven refume ? 
 To Blifs Angelical again afpire, 
 
 Whilft Heavenly Splendors all it's views illume ? 
 
 Yes, liberated from Corruption's Reign, 
 
 Freed from debafemems of the Nether Sphere, 
 
 It fhall Immortal Happinefs attain, 
 
 Through Pain's Alembic percolated clear : 
 
 Deterg'd from terrene feculence fhall fly 
 In uncontairunaied perfect Purity. 
 
 ANOTHER.
 
 [ *7* 
 
 ANOTHER. 
 
 OAT. didft '.hou brandifh the red fword of war ? 
 
 Did crin.fon carnage mark thy purple \vay, 
 Exccntric rolling like forne dreadful liar, 
 
 That ftrikes th' aHonifli'd regions with diimay ? 
 
 Though pl;ic'd refulgent on the conquering car, 
 With emulating Heroes compafs'd round, 
 
 Thou thy long train of Triumph fpread afar, 
 And hca:c! th' acclaim of Vitlory rcfoand : 
 
 Wliat tl-.o' her bright effulgence round thee ftieam, 
 The dazzling fplendor tiiat adorms the brave, 
 of the Lunai 1) 
 
 ncing \\-a\e 
 
 .lowy light be (led. 
 :i:id he foreaci. 
 
 '!^Z^etJ
 
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