THOUGHT-READER'S 
 
 THOUGHTS
 
 THOUGHT-READER'S THOUGHTS.

 
 THOUGHT-READER'S 
 THOUGHTS 
 
 BEING THE 
 
 IMPRESSIONS AND CONFESSIONS 
 
 STUART CUMBERLAND 
 
 AUTHOR OF " THE QUEEN'S HIGHWAY FROM OCEAN TO OCEAN, 
 "THE RABBI'S SPELL," ETC. 
 
 LONDON 
 SAMPSON LOW, MARSTON, SEARLE & RIVINGTON 
 
 Limited 
 t. jOunstan's joust 
 
 FETTER LANE, FLEET STREET, E.C 
 1888 
 
 {All rights reserved\
 
 BY THE SAME AUTHOR. 
 
 The Queen's Highway from Ocean to Ocean. 
 
 By STUART CUMBERLAND, F.R.G.S., Author of 
 " The Rabbi's Spell," &c. New Edition, with an 
 additional Chapter and numerous Illustrations. 
 Demy 8vo, cloth extra, 75. 6d. 
 
 "The Queen's Highway" is the only work which accurately and 
 fully describes the Dominion of Canada from the Atlantic to the 
 Pacific coast. 
 
 LONDON : 
 SAMPSON LOW, MAESTON, SEAELE & EIVINGTON, 
 
 Limited, 
 ST. DUNSTAN'S HOUSE, FETTER LANE, E.G.
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 My first " subject " The process of development 
 What the mystics thought A noted medium 
 A " spirit " appears The " spirit " lied I 
 squirted " the spirit" What " a spirit " is made 
 of The medium and the prince " The spirit " 
 forgets his boots The " spirit of Dante " and 
 the business end of a tin-tack The perils of in- 
 vestigation At a rapping sdance Three familiar 
 " spirits "The sex of " Old Tom "How raps 
 are produced Mr. Gladstone and the medium 
 Spirit children i 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 A believer in " willing " Lord Lome and the Moose 
 The Crown Prince Rudolph and his dog-^-The 
 pin in Trafalgar Square The United States 
 Minister and the Easter-egg A modern Judg- 
 ment of Paris A Redskin and the whiskey 
 General Ignatieff The General as a " subject " 
 The General as a Diplomat M. Lessar Mr. 
 H. M. Stanley 25 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 Russian superstition Hidden treasure A seance in 
 Warsaw gaol The prisoner confess ed General 
 
 a 
 
 1C77J 1 7
 
 vi Contents. 
 
 Gourko The censor intervened Madame 
 Gourko Russians and Poles A Russian's word 
 Red-Tape " Backsheesh "A Polizei- Presi- 
 dent Bill-posting in Russia My Warsaw 
 receipts The contra account The last straw 
 I pay under protest The " Blessed poor" The 
 Jew's account I am referred to the Tzar 
 Russian officialism Tipping in Russia How 
 to tip, and whom to tip Squaring a minister 
 Seeing M. de Giers It cost ten roubles For 
 three roubles he told the truth Russian society 
 Dogged by detectives Mr. Gladstone and 
 the Russians Such a good friend to Russia . 39 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 Notable people at the seance Extremes meet ; Mr. 
 Gladstone accepts a chair from Mr. Healy 366 
 the number thought of Mr. Gladstone remem- 
 bers it is Leap Year Mr. Gladstone a remark- 
 able " subject " Sympathy versus judgment 
 Mr. Gladstone a magnetic man Mr. Gladstone 
 as a mesmerist Seeing with their own eyes 
 The personal charm of Mr. Gladstone To one 
 thing constant never A letter from Mr. Glad- 
 stone 67 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 The late Kaiser Wilhelm His reception of me His 
 Majesty thinks of a date ; and I at once divine 
 it The explanation of the figure 4 The Kaiser 
 as a " subject" Nervous people as " subjects " 
 The Kaiser's eyes The Kaiser's loyalty My 
 indebtedness to the Kaiser The character of 
 the Germans German friendship Entertain- 
 ments on the Continent Thought-reading in 
 theatres A leap in the dark French and
 
 Contents. vii 
 
 PAGE 
 
 German audiences contrasted Theatres and 
 halls An intelligent public A dishonest 
 double : and his reward I suffer from imper- 
 sonation The police interfere A visit from the 
 police ; and what followed Under arrest All 
 right at last My portrait Doing a don The 
 don's disappointment ; and his vexation of spirit 
 German officials Red tape The police's 
 opinion of thought-reading Satisfied at last 
 The kindness of Herr Tisza The results of my 
 Vienna seances The press and the public My 
 indebtedness to the press Taxes on perform- 
 ances The story of a trustful man The Dutch 
 chair-tax The Dutch psychologically con- 
 sidered The Dutch as linguists More about 
 the taxing of performances The stamp tax on 
 printing How to raise the wind A hint to 
 Mr. Goschen 75 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 The Land of Mariana The Orientalism of the 
 Spaniard Spain a land of contrasts A domi- 
 nant idea A descendant of the Stuarts A 
 Spaniard's hospitality I find myself de trap 
 " Some day" It was washing day Infidel and 
 Christian The Spaniards as linguists The 
 typical grandee Sir Clare Ford His tact and 
 knowledge of Spanish character The Spanish 
 Royal family as linguists The Queen-Regent 
 Mother and child Monarchy versus Republi- 
 canism The Spanish Gladstone "All brains 
 and no conscience " Spain's ablest statesman 
 Reforms in Spain A stance in the royal 
 palace at Madrid An imaginary murder scene 
 Down came the knife The Comtesse de Paris 
 and her permit Queen Isabella My experi- 
 ments with her Majesty A traitor disposed of 
 a 2
 
 viii Contents. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 A thought-reader as a husband Queen 
 Isabella and the Queen-Regent So very 
 Spanish Spain and her colonies About the 
 fair sex Chaperoning in Spain Spanish " cuss- 
 words "A Spanish woman's education I am 
 much sought after And my patience is sorely 
 tried A delicate matter Alfredo versus 
 Antonio In a dilemma First come first served 
 A fat lady's secret If this should meet the eye 
 of A serious affair Cher Alphonse A dog 
 with a curly tail Buried treasure Spanish 
 frugality Spanish amusements Between the 
 acts A Spanish audience The prices at the 
 theatres A Spaniard's word I am taken in 
 A Spaniard's idea of a contract His idea of 
 time An honourable man A delicate matter 
 A first night in Barcelona The bull-fight Pity 
 the poor horses How a bad bull fares A bull- 
 fighter's wealth One's sympathy for the bull 
 The way a Spaniard stabs The Catalans The 
 Valencians The trail of the Arab La Patria 
 The future of Spain Official corruption Train 
 robbers . . 115 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 The Portuguese and Spaniards contrasted The 
 King of Portugal The Queen of Portugal A 
 striking experiment The Portuguese Premier 
 In a dilemma The Marquis Fronteira at Bene- 
 fica A dream of the past Portuguese names 
 Portuguese money Lent in Portugal and Spain 
 
 I am an object of suspicion A strange dream 
 
 In which I descend to the nethermost pit 
 The climax . . . . . . . .186 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 The Khedive as I read him His loyalty and
 
 Contents. ix 
 
 PAGE 
 
 straightforwardness His powers of concentra- 
 tion A model husband and a model father An 
 experiment with Baker Pasha Nubar Pasha 
 Pashas as " subjects '' It is the pace that tells . 202 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 Arabi, the Egyptian At breakfast with Arabi The 
 exile's home Arabi's opinion of Theebavv An 
 experiment with Arabi Arabi psychologically 
 considered Arabi's expectation of the English 
 Radicals 209 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 About nationalities Alike, yet how unlike The 
 pompous man The listless man The jolly 
 man The " clever chap " " The strong- 
 minded " female Women as " subjects " A 
 galaxy of " good subjects " Madame Adam and 
 Madame de Novikoff Miss Braddon 
 " Willing " How it is done Further explana- 
 tion The reply of the " true believer " Those 
 who make the best " subjects " Princess 
 Bismarck Prince Bismarck The outer and 
 inner Bismarck The all-round popular man, 
 and the unpopular man Individuality Prince 
 Gortchakoff and M. de Giers The policy of M. 
 de Giers When Russia is most peaceful she is 
 most dangerous Count Peter Schouvaloff 
 Count Paul Schouvaloff Count Julius Andrassy 
 as a "subject;'' as a politician M. Alexandre 
 Dumas An experiment with M. Dumas, in 
 which I encounter many difficulties, but in the 
 end am successful A kindly thought and a 
 strong will A great honour Sir Edward Malet 
 The duties of a diplomatist Our One Man 
 idea Lord Dufferin : his ability and tact Lord
 
 Contents. 
 
 Dufferin and the natives of India The policy 
 of Lord Ripon The voice of the Bengali Baboo 
 Sir Lepel Griffin on Babooism The evolution 
 of the Baboo What the native princes think 
 The Baboos and Lord Dufferin The good work 
 done by Lord and Lady Dufferin The Baboo's 
 swagger I am tempted to " forget myself " A 
 Baboo's indignation Tremble ye at Lord 
 Ripon's name A term of endearment The 
 Nizam of Hyderabad Dining with the Nizam 
 A Maharajah's idea of a good drink The 
 Nizam's loyalty The Prime Minister's con- 
 firmation The foresight of Lord Dufferin 
 Abdul Huk The Nizam as a "subject" Sir 
 Salar Jung Mehdi Ali The Maharajah of 
 Cashmere A present from his Highness Re- 
 enacting a murder The possibility of applying 
 thought-reading to the detection of crime 
 Lawyers as " subjects " Sir Henry James, Sir 
 Edward Clarke, and Sir Charles Russell 
 Musicians as " subjects " Gounod Rubinstein 
 A batch of artistic l< subjects " Clergymen as 
 "subjects" Medical men as "subjects'* M. 
 Coquelin and Mr. J. L. Toole An experiment 
 with Mr. Toole The comedian's opinion of 
 thought-reading Mr. S. B. Bancroft Signor 
 Rossi Mr. W. S. Gilbert as a "subject" 
 Gilbert and Sullivan Mr. Joseph Chamberlain 
 As I read him The man of the future Mr. 
 Henry Labouchere A much misunderstood 
 man A man of his word A good story Mr. 
 Labouchere as a friend Mr; Labouchere as a 
 " subject "Red Shirt, the Red Indian A 
 scalping experiment with Red Shirt Red Shirt's 
 determination, and his disappointment Mr. J. 
 R. Whitley An experiment with a converted 
 cannibal The thoughts of a monkey An ex- 
 periment with the late Colonel Burnaby An 
 
 PAGB
 
 Contents. xi 
 
 PAGF. 
 
 outdoor test with Mr. Grant Allen A curious 
 mistake Mr. W. T. Stead The best "sub- 
 jects " according to nationality . . . .218 
 
 CHAPTER XI. 
 
 The use of thought-reading A big offer A debt of 
 honour Posted A gipsy's warning Fate 
 Monarchs as " subjects '' I am asked my 
 " terms ;" and not having any, am asked to 
 supper Supping with grand dukes The 
 Noiiveaux Riches A monarch of finance His 
 "little present" The history of a souvenir I 
 pay the piper, as well as dance the tune 
 Society and artistes Meissonier and his dinner 
 An imposition upon one's good nature, which 
 I resent The way out of the dilemma The 
 Duke's plan ; and how it worked " Somewhat 
 rough " Not worth acknowledging Acknow- 
 ledged with thanks Bank-note reading A 
 notable challenge About the figures on bank- 
 notes They adjourn with the note ; and 
 "peter" it out in whiskies The first "subject" 
 with whom I read the number of a bank-note 
 True gentility Baron Henry de Worms 
 Latter-day thought-readers ; and their antics 
 What thought-reading has been brought to 
 The last stage of all As like the genuine article 
 as an artichoke is like a moss-rose The modus 
 operandi of thought-reading Why I am blind- 
 folded Reading thoughts without physical 
 contact Perception of touch Body-reading 
 Character reading First impressions About 
 liars in general ; and one in particular Lying 
 will out" Talk of the Devil," &c. A curious 
 coincidence First exhaust the natural The gift 
 of thought-reading Who possess it The wear 
 and tear of thought-reading Adieu . . -.28
 
 A THOUGHT-READER'S 
 THOUGHTS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 " THOUGHT-READER, read thyself," is a cry that 
 has gone out to me in many lands ; for most 
 people who interest themselves at all in the 
 matter think it a duty I owe the public to lay 
 bare my own thoughts as fully and as candidly 
 as I have frequently laid bare the thoughts of 
 others. 
 
 From time to time I have endeavoured to fall 
 in with the wishes so expressed ; and my views 
 upon what is called " Thought-reading " have 
 gone forth to the world in almost all, if not all, 
 written languages ; but, in spite of this, I to-day 
 find especially amongst my own countrymen 
 a very general desire to know something more of 
 the subject. 
 
 In order, therefore, to supply this "something 
 more," I have in the present work considerably 
 enlarged upon my previous communications, 1 
 
 1 By kind permission of the proprietor of the Nineteenth 
 Century I include in this work parts of an article of mine 
 which appeared in that magazine for December, 1886. 
 
 B
 
 2 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 and, in addition, have included my impressions 
 of some of the notable personages with whom I 
 have been brought in contact, and the places and 
 countries I have visited. 
 
 These events are not chronologically arranged, 
 nor are they recorded with the regularity and 
 precision of a diary ; the whole thing, in fact, is 
 simply my thoughts casually noted in leisure 
 moments. 
 
 Whilst a mere child my perceptive faculties 
 were remarkably keen ; and the power to arrive 
 at other people's thoughts was, I presume, with 
 me at an early age. But it was only about 
 seven years or so ago that I began to practically 
 test the matter. 
 
 My first My first important experiment was performed 
 " subject." with the y ery Rev Dr Bickersteth, the Dean of 
 Lichfield. 
 
 I was on a visit to the Dean, and one morning, 
 after breakfast, the subject of conversation having 
 turned upon "willing" and "mesmerism," he 
 asked me if I thought it possible for a person to 
 read the thoughts of another. 
 
 I replied that I believed such a thing, undcr 
 certain conditions, would be possible ; in fact, 
 that I was almost certain I could do so myself. 
 
 This reply naturally called for a test ; and the 
 Dean undertook to think of some object in the 
 Deanery of which I could know absolutely no- 
 thing. 
 
 My attempt to arrive at the Dean's thoughts
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 3 
 
 were, as compared with my after-efforts, some- 
 what crude, but the experiment was perfectly 
 successful. 
 
 I remember that I took my host by the hand 
 I was from the first impressed with the neces- 
 sity of establishing a physical communication 
 between the subject and the operator and led 
 him from the breakfast-room ; not quickly, as I 
 invariably do now, but slowly and lingeringly. 
 
 We entered the study, and I immediately felt 
 that I was in the correct locality. A moment 
 more, and I placed my hand upon an object 
 which, according to the impressions I then 
 received, I believed to be my subject's selec- 
 tion. 
 
 I was quite right : the object was a bust of 
 Lady Augusta Stanley. 
 
 This experiment, I need hardly say, embold- 
 ened me to make further attempts ; and I 
 speedily arrived at a much higher pitch of per- 
 fection. 
 
 But let it be clearly understood that I cannot Th e pro- 
 to-day find an object thought of with any develop- 
 greater certainty than I did on my, as it were, ment - 
 opening occasion. To-day's execution is, of 
 course, speedier, but my improvement is in 
 going beyond simple tests of this character ; 
 for it is astonishing how, when the faculty is 
 once with one, the power to thought-read 
 develops by practice, until the most intricate 
 form of experiment can be encompassed. This 
 I have abundantly proved in almost every coun- 
 B 2
 
 A T bought- Re ciders Thoughts. 
 
 try under the sun, and with all sorts and con- 
 ditions of men. 
 
 At first my exhibitions puzzled even myself, 
 and I could not readily account for them ; for, 
 when young, one is so apt to imagine one's self 
 supernaturally endowed ; and experiments such 
 as I performed were certainly calculated to 
 develop a tendency of this kind. But whilst 
 carrying out the demonstrations, I set myself 
 the task of arriving at a practical explanation of 
 them ; and eventually I convinced myself that, 
 instead of there being anything of an occult 
 character about my experiments, they were one 
 and all accountable on a purely natural basis. 
 
 Later on I intend unburdening my thoughts 
 as to the true explanation of the process ; but I 
 purpose first giving instances of the practice of 
 thought-reading and the curious features they in 
 some cases present. 
 
 \vimt the I shall never forget how the idle many and, not 
 
 mystics 
 
 thought, infrequently, the learned few imbued with ab- 
 normal fancies, sought to invest what I did with 
 an aspect of supernaturalism. Some even went 
 so far as to say that I did not myself under- 
 stand what I performed. Others, thorough-going 
 Spiritualists/waxed wroth because I would not 
 acknowledge the influence of " spirit-power " in 
 connection with my work. 
 
 " You are a medium," would say the Spiritu- 
 alists, "a medium, without knowing it." 
 
 " Oh, no ! " would answer the Psychical 
 Research folk, " he is a conductor of ' brain-
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 5 
 
 waves ' ; " and then would follow some learned 
 chatter upon Telepathy. 
 
 " Brother ! " said a white-turbanned dark- 
 skinned follower of Madame Blavatsky, placing 
 his hand reverently upon my shoulder, " you 
 possess an ' astral-body ; ' work for the cause of 
 Theosophy, and the heart of Koot Hoomi will 
 be glad." 
 
 I fear my answers in many instances were 
 not of the character that turneth away wrath ; 
 but then what is to be done with people who 
 are superior alike to argument and common 
 sense, and who measure everything by the stan- 
 dard of improbability ? 
 
 I cannot too emphatically disavow any belief 
 in what is called Spiritualism. My investiga- 
 tions, in fact, speedily convinced me of the 
 futility of the true believer's aspirations, the 
 vulgarity and absurdity of the " manifestations " 
 exhibited, and the invariable rascality of the 
 performing " mediums." 
 
 Verily, it is enough to make one rub one's 
 eyes in bewildering wonderment, on coming 
 across in the daily newspapers, side by side with 
 the most matter-of-fact announcements, the ad- 
 vertisements of a society devoted to the study of 
 ghost-lore, askingfor information about "spooks" 
 and their doings ; as Mr. Punch has it : 
 
 " Wanted ghosts of every variety 
 Fitted to mix in learned society." 
 
 To old-fashioned believers in ghosts, this hue
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 and cry in the daily press after manifesting 
 " spirits " by those who profess to be their best 
 friends can scarcely, I should think, be pleasant 
 reading, whilst common-sense folk can only 
 regret that the society in question is not as 
 solicitous over the living as it is over the 
 shades of the dead. 
 
 It is distressing to think how many mouths of 
 the hungry present the money annually ex- 
 pended by these enthusiasts in their quest of 
 the departed would have filled. 
 
 Just as no county family can claim to be 
 quite the thing without the possession of a 
 family ghost, a personal acquaintance with a 
 " spirit " is, I suppose, a thing to be proud of, and 
 the closer the intimacy the greater the pride. 
 
 This may be the case in a general way, but 
 so far as I am myself concerned acquaintance 
 with "visitors from the other world" has, in 
 every instance, been the reverse of satisfactory ; 
 and I certainly take no pride from the associa- 
 tion. 
 
 A noted As far back as August, 1880, I made the 
 medium. acqua i ntance o f a sp i r it." It was at 2, Vernon 
 
 Place, Bloomsbury ; and one Bastian was the 
 <f medium '' who produced it. "It," I may say, 
 was a he, that is, a male spirit ; for there are, 
 it should be known, sexes amongst the spooks as 
 amongst mortals. 
 
 Mr. Bastian vvas great amongst the believers, 
 and, to speak technically, was a singularly 
 " powerful medium for physical manifestations."
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 At the sitting in question, the proceedings 
 opened with a dark seance, at which the shade 
 of a German " manifested.'-' He was a stock 
 spirit, and knew the ropes pretty well ; but, un- 
 fortunately, he had but an imperfect knowledge 
 of his mother tongue, and was unable to sustain 
 an intelligible conversation with those who 
 happened to know German ; otherwise he gave 
 complete satisfaction. 
 
 The dark seance was followed by what, by 
 way of distinction, is called a "light seance," at 
 which, however, darkness and not light pre- 
 dominates. 
 
 This portion of the sitting was for " materia- 
 lization," the " medium " having, it was alleged, 
 the power to produce " spirits " from the vasty 
 deep or wherever they are supposed to come 
 from. 
 
 The " medium " went into an adjoining room, 
 which was separated from the seance chamber 
 by a black curtain hung over the doorway. 
 There he fell into a trance whilst the broken- 
 winded musical box in our room wheezed out 
 some dirge-like notes. 
 
 All this time we poor sitters had to clasp each 
 others hands ; not one of us daring to move for 
 fear of breaking the circle ; and, as is well 
 known, the " spirits " can't or won't appear unless 
 the magnetic chain of hands is kept intact, 
 which shows a highly commendable sense of 
 discretion on the part of the " spirits." 
 
 It was a truly mournful half-hour, that waiting
 
 8 A Thought -Reader's Thoiights. 
 
 A for the " spooks ;" and the fact that one could 
 
 "spirit" not do anything to shutout the sound of that 
 
 appears. . . . ,11 
 
 infernal machine made ones position doubly 
 unbearable ; and it was a positive relief when, 
 so to speak, the curtain rang up and the ghost 
 walked. 
 
 Out he stepped, in the dim light, a modest, 
 retiring sort of a spirit, attired alas ! how the 
 mighty have fallen in faultless evening dress. 
 
 He hesitated a good deal in front of the 
 curtain, as if the company was strange to him 
 and he was waiting to be introduced. 
 
 Seeing his embarrassment, a lady a true 
 believer sitting by my side, came to his rescue, 
 and asked if anybody recognized him. 
 
 No one answered. 
 
 A long pause, and then the lady said to me, 
 in a whisper, " I'm sure the spirit knows you." 
 
 At this the " spirit " beamed at least so it 
 seemed in the semi-darkness. 
 
 The room was hushed, and one could hear 
 one's heart beat, when suddenly there came upon 
 the uncomfortable stillness, 
 
 " I'm your brother ! " 
 
 It was the " spook " who had found voice. 
 
 This startling announcement took all but true 
 believers by surprise (your thorough-going 
 Spiritualist is not surprised at anything that 
 happens in a seance room), and every one was 
 asking himself to whom did the message refer. 
 
 " It is to you the dear spirit speaks," softly 
 said the lady, squeezing my hand in that;
 
 A T bought- Reader s Thoughts. 9 
 
 spiritual manner peculiar to both light and dark 
 seances. 
 
 "To me?' 3 
 
 " Yes ! can't you see the spirit is nodding to 
 you ? " and, sure enough, there was the spirit 
 making a most friendly bow. 
 
 This, I must confess, was a surprise to me, for, 
 as a matter of fact, I had never lost a brother ; 
 but the " spirit " seemed so certain -about it that 
 I thought it would be impolite to contradict 
 him, especially as he had come such a long 
 way to L make the statement. So I remained 
 silent. 
 
 But this did not seem to suit the lady, who 
 urged me to speak to the " spirit." 
 
 Whilst anxious to do the polite thing towards 
 one who had evinced such a brotherly interest 
 in me, I couldn't for the life of me think of any- 
 thing suitable to say. But there was the lady 
 nudging me on and the "spirit" smiling 
 encouragement, so I had to say something and 
 I said it. 
 
 " Which brother are you ? " I asked, feeling 
 that the " spirit " wouldn't lie; but that on find- 
 ing he had made a mistake, would own up and 
 turn his affections to some one else. 
 
 Nothing of the kind. 
 
 "I'm your brother Willie," he replied as glibly 
 and as confidently as if he had known me all his 
 life. 
 
 "Willie ?" I echoed incredulously, hoping the. 
 tone of voice would turn him from the broad
 
 io A T hought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 path of lying and deception ; for I never had a 
 brother Willie. 
 
 But so great apparently was his infatuation for 
 me that he refused to take the hint andunblush- 
 ingly reiterated his untruthful assertion. 
 The Needless to say I was shocked and grieved at 
 
 lieT'" sucn spiritual depravity, and I was immediately 
 reminded of a great scientist's words about its 
 being nobler to live a crossing-sweeper than die 
 a prince and have one's spirit appear at a seance 
 at so much per hour. 
 
 In that moment all my faith in the superiority 
 of " spirits " died ; and I came to the conclusion 
 that a high-class " spook " was not a better liar 
 than an ordinary mortal, and not a whit more 
 ingenious. 
 
 What was the use of being a ghost at all, I 
 thought, if it couldn't manage things better than 
 that? It was a sorry return for the five 
 shillings I had paid, besides it wasn't fair to the 
 others amongst whom there might be some who 
 yearned for the companionship of ghostly 
 brothers. 
 
 Then there flashed across my mind the idea 
 that perhaps after all it wasn't a good specimen 
 of the genus " spook " or happy notion 
 wasn't a " spook " at all, but merely a mortal 
 masquerading as one. 
 
 This determined me to test the matter, and 
 as will be seen, great things came of it. 
 
 I may mention that I had not come alto- 
 gether unprepared for the matter in hand, I had,
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 1 1 
 
 in fact, brought with me a syringe filled with 
 liquid cochineal, for the purpose of marking any 
 suspicious-looking " spirit " that might come in 
 my way. 
 
 You must know that easy as it often is to 
 grasp a " spirit " it is far more difficult to retain 
 one. For, whilst these visitors from the other 
 world do not disdain to make extensive use 
 of their hands and feet, the believers never 
 fail to come to the rescue of the captive, and 
 in the general melee the ghost invariably 
 escapes. 
 
 Whilst perfectly satisfactory to the captive, 
 such a result is extremely provoking to the 
 captor, especially as he could not, under such 
 circumstances, positively swear to the compo- 
 sition of the being seized. 
 
 But under the plan I had adopted matters 
 were made more certain ; for if it were a 
 genuine spirit into whose face I squirted the 
 cochineal he, unless he stayed behind to demand 
 satisfaction and thereby proved his identity, 
 would probably take his .immediate departure 
 from whence he came, leaving no trace of his 
 being ; but if he were the medium masquerad- 
 ing as a " spook," that person would be sure to 
 retain some traces of the colouring-matter thrown 
 over him, and although in the struggle he might, 
 and probably would, escape from my grasp, 
 should I succeed in laying hold of him, his 
 identity with the " spirit " would be conclusively 
 proven thereby.
 
 12 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Heedless of his fate, my unearthly " brother " 
 advanced towards me. 
 
 i squirted A pressure of the squirt and a stream of red 
 spirit." dyed his face. 
 
 A mortal yell disturbed the harmony of the 
 meeting, amidst which I made a rush for the 
 " spirit ; " but too late ; he had already got 
 behind the curtain. 
 
 I managed to grasp him for a moment 
 through the curtain ; and in that moment I 
 heard more muffled profanity than I have 
 heard in any one year of my exceedingly varied 
 life. 
 
 In an instant all was confusion, and then out 
 went the lights. 
 
 By the time the gas was re-lit, the medium 
 had had time to recover from the exhaustion 
 caused by the strain of giving forth so many 
 "cuss-words," and to stow away his disguise ; so 
 that by the time we entered the inner chamber 
 he was lying on the ground in an assumed 
 trance. 
 
 To wake him from this trance would, said the 
 spiritualists, be highly dangerous, if not fatal, but 
 Dr. Forbes Winslow, who was one of the party, 
 took a medical survey of him, and in the end 
 he was brought under the light in the other 
 room. 
 
 Alas, poor ghost, his face was spotted with 
 liquid cochineal. 
 
 In some verses on the event, Punch neatly 
 summed the matter up as follows :
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 13 
 
 " Spirits are as slippery as eels to feel, 
 
 So, would you cotch a spirit, cotch-an-eel.' 1 
 
 Thorough-going Spiritualists, however, argued 
 otherwise. With them there was no proof of 
 Bastian's imposture. 
 
 What did it signify if colouring-matter which 
 had been thrown at a " spirit " was found on the 
 face of the medium through whose mediumship 
 the " form " materialized ? 
 
 For anybody who knew anything about What " a 
 " materializations " would know that these made ofT 
 "materialized forms " must be made out of 
 something, and that the medium supplied that 
 something in the shape of certain " materio- 
 spintual atoms," out of which the "spirit "could 
 materialize a form. So that a cochinealed spirit 
 when it de-materialized would convey the 
 colouring-matter to the medium along with the 
 material " atoms " temporarily borrowed for the 
 purpose of " materialization." 
 
 In the eyes of such folk Bastian of course 
 was a grossly ill-used man, but the sympathy 
 expressed for him was as nothing as compared 
 with that felt for the outraged " spirit," who was, 
 I understand, strongly urged to take proceed- 
 ings against me for assault and battery. 
 
 But the " spirit " evidently was averse to police- 
 court proceedings, and nothing came of the 
 suggestion, and the much-desired opportunity of 
 cross-examining the " materio-spiritual atoms" 
 of Mr. Bastian, medium, was lost. 
 
 In spite, however, of the championing of his
 
 14 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 friends, Bastian's business fell away, and he con- 
 sequently took his departure from England. 
 The In 1884, he turned up in Vienna, when he 
 
 andthe g ave a seance before the Crown Prince Ru- 
 priace. dolph and the Archduke Johann. On this 
 occasion the " Geist " he produced had an ex- 
 ceedingly rough time of it, for on its putting in 
 an appearance in the salon where the Imperial 
 investigators were sitting, a string was pulled, 
 and the door opening between this room and 
 the one in which the medium was supposed to 
 be in a trance closed with a sudden snap. 
 
 No rat in a trap could have been more tho- 
 roughly scared than this unfortunate " spook." 
 
 Instead of vanishing into space, or finding an 
 exit through a crack in the floor, or through the 
 key-hole, in true ghost-like fashion, he dashed 
 wildly about the room, seeking firstly to escape 
 by the closed door, and then by the window. 
 But, alas ! escape was impossible, and the imperial 
 captors proceeded to examine him at their 
 leisure. 
 
 The lights were turned up, and there shrink- 
 ing in a corner was the cringing medium, his 
 ghostly garments in sad disarray. 
 
 The party shrieked with laughter, whilst the 
 " Geist " pleaded for mercy, and it was only upon 
 the Crown Prince's personal assurance that no 
 harm should come to him that his agitation 
 diminished. 
 
 But no sooner was one of the doors opened 
 than he made a sudden bolt for the street, in his
 
 A Thought- Reader s T/wztg/its. 15 
 
 . . ^^ 
 
 hurry forgetting his boots, which had been left in "The 
 the room adjoining the seance chamber. forgets his 
 
 These boots, the Crown Prince told me, were 
 never sent for ; and Bastian, finding that the 
 climate of Vienna did not agree with him, and 
 that the police authorities were making active 
 inquiries after his health, left the capital sud- 
 denly, leaving no address ; and, for aught I 
 know, his boots are at the palace to this day. 
 
 What has become of Bastian I don't know ; 
 but I need hardly say that his spiritualistic 
 friends firmly believed at the time and I sup- 
 pose still believe in his innocence. 
 
 Bastian being a great medium could not 
 possibly be dethroned by the unthinking action 
 of mere sceptics, who knew absolutely nothing of 
 the glorious truths of spiritual phenomena. 
 
 " Doubtless it was Bastian," they exclaimed, 
 " who was found in the salon attired in spiritual 
 raiment ; but this proved his innocence rather 
 than his guilt. For anybody conversant with 
 Spiritualism knows that, in spite of all precau- 
 tions, ' evil spirits ' will creep into the ' circle ' 
 and compel the medium to take a part wholly 
 unconscious of his own volition." 
 
 Indeed ! ! ! 
 
 With respect to the boots, no medium of an 
 artistic feeling would allow his " controls " to 
 appear with boots on. 
 
 Fancy "John King" or "Marie," or any 
 other well-known and highly respectable 
 "spirit," announcing its appearance with a
 
 1 6 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 squeak of new leather ; or Professor Crooke's 
 graceful protegee " Katie King " pirouetting 
 before the professor to a heel and toe accom- 
 paniment. 
 
 No, " a spirit " must appear bootless, and 
 every well-regulated medium doffs his own 
 boots accordingly. 
 
 For artistic effect this is all very well, but it 
 
 is not infrequently attended with inconvenience, 
 
 and sometimes with pain to the operator. 
 
 The On one occasion, in the United States, the 
 
 Dante" " spirit of Dante " appeared, and was incautious 
 
 and the enough to tread upon some tin-tacks placed upon 
 
 business 
 
 end of a the floor. 
 
 tin-tack. ^j ie i an g ua g e o f that spirit would spoil the 
 sale of any of Dante's works into which it 
 found its way. 
 
 I have in my travels come across a good deal 
 of profanity, but the oaths of the most aban- 
 doned Spanish muleteer or a western cowboy 
 I ever heard were as the language of a Sunday- 
 school teacher compared with those expressed 
 by Dante's " spook." 
 
 But the most curious thing about it was that 
 Dante, admitting that he had good cause to 
 "cuss," should in the "cussing" forget his own 
 pure Florentine and do the whole thing from 
 first to last in the broadest Yankee. 
 
 Perhaps, however, it was another instance of 
 the medium a Yankee "taking a part wholly 
 unconscious of his own volition." Ah me ! 
 what a lot those bad spirits have to answer for.
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 17 
 
 On another occasion a spirit that of an 
 Indian brave threatened to scalp me at sight 
 for questioning his sex. 
 
 I know it was impolite to do so, but for the 
 life of me I couldn't resist the temptation to 
 express my thoughts when a " spirit," with an 
 abnormally developed bosom, claiming to be a 
 Red-skin warrior, but who in reality was the 
 female medium, put in an appearance. 
 
 How I got out of that seance room I don't 
 exactly know ; but I fully remember going gation. 
 down the stairs very much quicker than I had 
 gone up them, and that when I was at the 
 bottom I had to fight my way to the street. 
 
 The next thing I remember was lying on the 
 ice-covered pavement with a sprained ankle and 
 one of my assailants with a cracked head by my 
 side. 
 
 Spirit investigation has its perils as well as its 
 pleasures, especially in the States, where spirits 
 often carry revolvers, and what is more, know 
 how to use them. To run the risk of being 
 potted at sight by an outraged "spirit," is 
 scarcely calculated to add to the charms of 
 independent investigation. 
 
 There are of course many other phases of 
 mediumship in addition to that of " materializa- 
 tion." 
 
 It is not every medium who is sufficiently 
 skilful or sufficiently daring to produce " mate- 
 rialized forms/' 
 
 Some " mediums " devote themselves to 
 
 C
 
 1 8 A Thought -Readers Thoughts* 
 
 Table-tapping and Table-tipping, others to Slate- 
 writing- and Spirit-rapping ; whilst " Healing- 
 mediums " and " Trance-mediums " are in abun- 
 dance. 
 
 I have had an extensive experience of all 
 these different forms of mediumship ; but in not 
 one single instance have I been convinced of the 
 genuineness of the manifestations produced. 
 
 I have never had a message written on a slate 
 which was not done by the medium on behalf 
 of the " spirit." I have never heard a " spirit 
 rap " which could not be duplicated by human 
 agency, or seen a table tip which was not tipped 
 by human hands. 
 
 At a Some time ago one of the famous rapping 
 
 stance. mediums gave a Spirit-rapping seance at my 
 rooms in an hotel in New York. 
 
 We sat round a table along with the medium, 
 who, by means of the " spirits," answered 
 questions that we put. 
 
 The raps were coded as follows : 
 
 One rap = No ! 
 
 Two raps = Don't know ! 
 
 Three raps = Yes ! 
 
 Five raps = Alphabet ! 
 
 Q. " Dear spirit " (all " spirits " by the bye are 
 " dear," and they often refuse to answer without 
 this term of endearment), "are you here ? " 
 
 A. One rap, signifying "No." 
 
 (But how a spirit could rap if he wasn't present 
 I can't understand). 
 
 After a little pause,
 
 A T hought- Reader' 1 s Thoughts. 19 
 
 Q. " Dear spirit, are you here now ? " 
 
 A. Two raps (very faintly), signifying that he 
 doesn't know if he is present. 
 
 Still another pause. 
 
 O. " Dear spirit, do tell me if you are pre- 
 sent." 
 
 A. Three raps ! 
 
 Then commences the questioning and the 
 answering, during which an ordinary "spirit" 
 tells more lies than it would be possible for the 
 most notorious living liar to do in double the 
 time. 
 
 I was particularly struck with this faculty for 
 lying, and knowing that a good liar appreciates 
 nothing better than to be led up to, I thought I 
 would put the spirit a few questions with the 
 object of not only testing his veracity, but of 
 giving him an opportunity to shine. So being 
 asked to write down the names of three spirit 
 friends, I scribbled on separate pieces of paper 
 out of sight of the medium three names. 
 
 One was Brandy, another Irish Whiskey, and Tliree 
 
 familiar 
 
 the third Ola lorn. "spirits."' 
 
 " Are you here, dear friend ? " I asked, talter- 
 ingly pointing at the folded slip containing the 
 name of Brandy. 
 
 Rap ! Rap ! ! Rap ! ! ! 
 
 Yes, he was there ; but he refused to answer 
 any questions, apparently being exhausted by 
 the many calls made upon him during the day: 
 
 Then I pointed to " Old Tom," and asked if 
 " it " were there. 
 
 C 2
 
 2O A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 This "spirit" seemed somewhat doubtful at 
 first, but at last it " manifested " and appeared 
 anxious to enter into conversation with me. 
 
 "What sex is the 'spirit'?" some one 
 whispered. 
 
 Now what sex is Old Tom ? It was a spirit 
 much in favour amongst a certain section of the 
 fair sex, I knew, but that was all ; so I thought 
 I'd leave it to the "spirit " to tell me. 
 
 " Are you a man ? " 
 
 One rap. 
 
 " Are you a boy ? " 
 
 Still only one rap. 
 
 " What are you then, a woman ? " 
 
 Rap ! Rap ! ! Rap ! ! ! 
 The sex of That settled it : " Old Tom " was a female 
 
 "Old 
 
 Tom." Spirit. 
 
 Thinking the "spirit" might be garrulous 
 and keep me in conversation longer than I 
 desired, I cut short the interview and went 
 on to the remaining name, which was Irish 
 Whiskey. 
 
 " Are you here, dear spirit ? " 
 
 Three raps. 
 
 " Have you been dead long ? " 
 
 Three raps. 
 
 " Are you happy ? " 
 
 This question was answered by a perfect 
 shower of joyful tappings, and it was only 
 apparently when his knuckles became uncom- 
 fortably sore that the " spirit " took a rest. 
 
 By and by I put other questions to the spirit,
 
 A T bought- Reader s Thoughts. 21 
 
 during which I discovered that he was an 
 Englishman, and that he had died abroad. 
 
 He was in fact proceeding to unburden him- 
 self about his friends and relations, when thinking 
 he had done enough lying for one night, I un- 
 rolled the pieces of paper and asked the medium 
 to explain the matter. 
 
 " Explain ! sir, there's only one explanation, 
 and that is when people come to the spirits with 
 lies in their mouths, evil spirits will answer them 
 with lies." 
 
 " Just so," I replied ; " but it appears to me 
 that the good spirits have missed a grand op- 
 portunity of shining, and to my mind it would 
 have been infinitely more satisfactory if one of 
 them had informed the meeting at the outset 
 that Brandy, Irish Whiskey, and Old Tom were 
 ' spirits ' quite outside their circle, instead of 
 allowing the evil spirits to add the crime of 
 impersonation to their long list of unredeemed 
 sins." 
 
 I then showed the audience how the " spirits " 
 rapped. 
 
 This is not very difficult. It consists of being How raps- 
 able to displace at will certain tendons. The 
 displacement of the peroncens longus muscle or 
 the knee-cap, and the snapping of the joint of 
 the big toe will produce distinct raps. Spirit- 
 rapping mediums are mostly females, and their 
 dress effectually hides the movement of their 
 feet. 
 
 It is next to impossible to tell where sound
 
 22 A Thought- Rea ders Thoughts. 
 
 comes from unless the eye can see what it is 
 that produces the sound ; and the effect of ex- 
 pectancy takes away the sense of sight in so far 
 that if a medium tells a person that a " spirit " 
 is going to rap on the table, and he, believing 
 it, concentrates his attention thereon, so great is 
 the influence of his expectancy and concentrated 
 attention that there apparently will come the 
 sound, although the medium in reality is 
 snapping her tendons underneath the table. 
 
 I have often proved this by a very simple 
 illustration. 
 
 Many Spiritualists are, of course, perfectly 
 sincere in their belief (which arises rather from an 
 inborn hankering after supernaturalism than 
 from a knowledge of the subject), and Spiritual- 
 ism to them is what Religion is to the orthodox. 
 But outside of the self-deceived hysterical few, 
 there are not many honest " mediums," whilst 
 of professional mediums I know not a single 
 one. 
 
 Some of these individuals have confessed 
 their manifold sins and wickednesses, whilst 
 others like D. D. Home have died uncon- 
 fessed. 
 
 Spiritualism is not the power for mischief that 
 it was a few years back, but there evidently is 
 interest in the subject, otherwise Mr. Gladstone 
 would not be found hob-nobbing with a profes- 
 sional medium one day and the Tzar of all the 
 Russias another. 
 
 With respect to the medium who exploited
 
 A Thought- Reader' s Thoughts. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone, Mr. Labouchere and myself each Mr. Glad- 
 offered to give iooo/. to approved charities if on 
 producing his manifestations in our presence dium. 
 and that of a chosen committee we could not 
 satisfactorily explain them on mundane prin- 
 ciples. 
 
 But we offered in vain. 
 
 For a long time past I have ceased to concern 
 myself about either Spiritualism or Spiritualists ; 
 and I should not have referred to the subject in 
 these pages had it not been for the fact that 
 certain unthinking persons, unless otherwise in- 
 formed, might in fancy associate me with 
 matters with which I have all along been at 
 variance. 
 
 The more educated Spiritualists and men of 
 intelligence and culture like Messrs. Gurney and 
 Myars are undoubtedly honest and earnest 
 seekers after knowledge, and they, I daresay, 
 sincerely regret the follies and extravagancies of 
 the more humble believers. 
 
 Indeed, much of the vulgar fooling and 
 blasphemous rubbish which find currency in 
 certain spiritualistic circles should find no 
 sympathizers outside of Bedlam. 
 
 Yet there are Spiritualists, personally sane 
 and undoubtedly reputable, who claim to have 
 seen a materialized spirit called "John King" 
 devour buttered muffins and drink his second 
 cup of tea; whilst Lord Dunraven averred he 
 saw Home float out of window ; and Professor 
 Crookes confesses to having folded the spirit
 
 24 A Tlwught- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 form of "Katie King" in his arms and, what 
 is more, to have liked it. 
 
 But the unique experience of one T. L. Harris 
 should exhaust the blind, unthinking faith of even 
 the most rabid believers ; but unfortunately, it 
 doesn't, for we find his statement, wild as it is, 
 fully endorsed by the organ of the Spiritualists, 
 the Medium and Daybreak. 
 
 Spirit According to Mr. Harris the spirit of his 
 
 children. ^ ea( j w jf e no t on iy returns to him but two 
 children have been the outcome of this spiritual 
 visit, but whether the " angelic-androgynistic " 
 couple remain in the custody of the father or of 
 the mother both narrator and newspaper omit 
 to tell us. 
 
 After this, the curtain.
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 2 3 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 SPIRITUALISTICALLY inclined people do not, as 
 a rule, make good subjects for thought-reading ; 
 and the following is a striking instance of how 
 people with an undercurrent of supernaturalism 
 running through them may act in antagonism 
 to me. 
 
 At a seance given by me in the Maryborough 
 Rooms, Regent Street, close upon six years ago, 
 under the presidency of Dr. (now Sir) J. 
 Crichton Browne, at which Professor Ray 
 Lankester, Professor Croom Robertson, Dr. 
 Hack Luke, and other eminent scientists were 
 present, Monsignor Capel took part in one of 
 the illustrations presented. 
 
 It was a very simple test, consisting only of 
 finding a hidden toy ; yet I found it impossible 
 of accomplishment. My "subject," instead of 
 aiding me by concentrating his whole thought 
 in the direction of the hidden object, was all the 
 time (unconsciously I believe) resisting my pro- 
 gress. 
 
 I complained of this, and said that I did not 
 profess to read a man's thoughts against his 
 will ; and that, under the existing circumstances, 
 success was not possible.
 
 26 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 " Exactly so," replied the monsignor, with 
 charming frankness ; " let us, then, reverse the 
 process ? " 
 
 As he said this I felt him breathe on my fore- 
 head (above my blindfold). We then resumed 
 connection with the hands, and in another mo- 
 ment I found myself flying across the room. In 
 my experiments I invariably take the lead, but 
 in this case my "subject" took it. I found the 
 object almost immediately, and as I withdrew it 
 from its hiding-place the monsignor said, in 
 quiet triumph, " I thought my process was better 
 than yours." 
 
 " How so ? " 
 A believer Why, I believe in the process known as 
 
 in " will- 
 
 ing." willing ; and I have no belief in your theory 
 that thoughts are conveyed through the action 
 of the physical system. So when you had failed 
 in your attempt upon your own plan> I bethought 
 myself of willing you to go to the object ; and " 
 (this with a gentle reproving smile) " you see you 
 went there direct." 
 
 " Well, what does that prove ? " 
 
 " It proves that my will is greater than yours." 
 
 " Possibly, but in the first place you exercise 
 
 your will against the experiment in such a 
 
 manner that that became the dominant idea,, in 
 
 your mind, and not the object thought of. It is 
 
 only when the mind is so concentrated upon a 
 
 given object, or action, as to leave no room for 
 
 the consideration of any other idea that I can 
 
 have any chance of success. Under such intcn-
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 27 
 
 sity of concentration the physical system acts 
 with the mind and so gives me the impressions 
 sought after. But if you deliberately set your- 
 self to will me to stand still, I naturally stand 
 still ; or if you wish me to go to a part of the 
 room opposite to where the hidden object is, 
 there I go, because those wishes are at the time 
 dominant in your mind and they form your 
 actual thoughts ; and I am quite as successful .1 
 thought-reader in taking such a course as if I 
 had found the object, provided you had elected 
 to have allowed that to have been your dominant 
 thought. No man, you must admit, can have 
 two dominant ideas in his mind at one time. 
 With regard to the second instance, I felt that 
 you were so intent upon ' willing ' me to go to 
 the spot that, in the very intensity of desire, you 
 unconsciously dragged me the whole of the way. 
 I did nothing but remain quite passive, until I 
 came to the table where the toy was, and com- 
 mon sense told me to lift up the tambourine and 
 take it out. 
 
 " No,Monsignor/' I added in conclusion, " will- 
 ing is neither more nor less than either 'drag- 
 ging ' or ' pushing/ the position of the ' wilier ' 
 so called determining which of the two it shall 
 be." 
 
 At one time it was thought to be impossible 
 to find an object outside of the room in which 
 the experiment might be performed. It was not 
 long, however, before I demonstrated the falsity 
 of this contention. The first occasion was at
 
 28 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Lord Government House, Ottawa, where I had been 
 and the dining with the Marquis of Lome (then Gover- 
 Moose. nor-General of Canada). The 1 test originated 
 with his Excellency, who took a very keen in- 
 terest in the subject of thought-reading, and it 
 consisted of finding an object outside of the 
 drawing-room in which we tvere when the ex- 
 periment was proposed. I was only blindfolded, 
 and taking my subject by the hand I made a 
 sudden dash out of the room. Some doors had 
 to be unbolted to allow of my passage : this I 
 did, and eventually I found myself in the yard. 
 Unbolting one more door I entered an out- 
 building it was a stable I discovered afterwards 
 and reaching out my hand in the perfect 
 darkness which prevailed I encountered some- 
 thing alive. 
 
 " This is the thing ! " I said in some consterna- 
 tion. " Quite correct," was the reply ; and, on 
 pulling off the handkerchief which bound my 
 eyes, I found that I had been laying hold of a 
 young moose-deer, a pet of H.R.H. the Princess 
 Louise. 
 
 TheCrown I afterwards performed a somewhat similar 
 
 Rudolph experiment with the Crown Prince of Austria at 
 
 and his the Hofburg in Vienna. Only this time the 
 
 animal thought of was an immense black dog. 
 
 It was a strange sight to see the Crown Princess 
 
 and the ladies of the court tucking up their 
 
 trains and following His Imperial Highness and 
 
 myself in our mad chase along the highways and 
 
 byeways of the castle ; for, in the first place,
 
 A T bought- Reader s Thoughts. 29 
 
 H.I.H. did not know where the dog was ; in the 
 second place he, in the search for it, lost his 
 bearings, and he certainly went to parts of the 
 castle where neither he nor any Hapsburg had 
 ever been before. Wherever his thoughts went 
 there did I at once proceed, and when he men- 
 tally paused in his perplexity I did nothing but 
 stand still. But immediately the Prince got on 
 the right track of the dog I did not hesitate a 
 moment in my course, but proceeded to where 
 he lay panting in his wealth of long shaggy 
 hair, after evidently having partaken of a late 
 and heavy dinner. 
 
 Since then I have demonstrated in almostevery The pin in 
 capital in Europe my ability to find objects 
 even the smallest pins hid in the open streets. 
 Two years ago last summer I gave an open-air 
 test of this kind in the heart of London itself. 
 A pin was hid by that eminent classical scholar, 
 the Rev. Dr. Holden, in Trafalgar Square ; and 
 the Spanish Minister, Sir Charles Tupper, and 
 Professor Romanes, F.R.S., were amongst those 
 who acted on the committee. I speedily found 
 the pin, although I experienced some difficulty 
 in getting through the crowd which had as- 
 sembled outside. The starting-place was an 
 upstairs room in the Charing Cross Hotel. 
 
 Perhaps, however, one of the most interesting The 
 of these out-door experiments I ever performed state" 
 took place in Berlin two years ago last Easter. Minister 
 
 * . and the 
 
 Having purchased an Easter-egg and put into it Easter- 
 a quantity of gold, the egg was given to Mr. e ^S-
 
 ;o A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 Casson, the American Minister, to hide anywhere 
 within a radius of a kilometre of the Hotel de 
 Rome, which was the starting-point. Accom- 
 panied by Count Moltke, His Excellency Dr. 
 Lucius, and Prince Ratibor, as a committee of 
 inspection, Mr. Casson took away the egg and 
 hid it, whilst I remained with the balance of the 
 committee in the hotel. Instead of taking Mr. 
 Casson by the hand, as I had done in other 
 cases, I caused him to be connected with me by 
 a piece of thin wire. One end of the wire was 
 twisted round his right wrist and the other end 
 round my left ; the coil itself remaining slack. 
 
 Thus connected we started on our errand of 
 search. 
 
 From time to time the wire was drawn taut, 
 and it cut into our wrists, with the force I 
 exercised in pulling my subject along ; but as 
 far as possible, I avoided actually touching his 
 hand with my own. 
 
 After leaving the Unter den Linden, we 
 turned into a narrow by-street, and then into the 
 Emperor Wilhelm's stables. Arriving there, I 
 went up to a corn-box, and found it locked. 
 For a moment I took Mr. Casson'shand in mine 
 in order to increase the impression. This done, 
 I moved towards Prince Ratibor, and putting 
 my hand in his pocket I fetched out the key of 
 the box. Opening the box, I dived my hand 
 amongst the corn and drew forth the hidden 
 
 s 
 eee. 
 
 The egg and its contents were afterwards
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 presented to the Crown Princess (now the 
 Empress Victoria) as an Easter gift for the 
 Kindergarten, in which Her Imperial Highness 
 takes so deep an interest. 
 
 On one occasion in Vienna, an important out- 
 door experiment I had announced did not take 
 place, being prevented by the police. 
 
 This experiment a modernized version of A modem 
 the Judgment of Paris consisted of finding by of Paris, 
 the process, of thought-reading the (in the 
 opinion of the " subject " appointed) most lovely 
 woman in Vienna, to whom was to be presented 
 a golden apple as beauty's prize. 
 
 Everything was in readiness when there came 
 a notice from the police forbidding the experi- 
 ment. 
 
 I immediately interviewed the Polizei-Presi- 
 dent, with whom I had some previous acquain- 
 tance, but, although extremely courtly and 
 amiable, he was altogether obdurate. 
 The meeting could not take place. 
 It afterwards leaked out that the police had 
 fears of an anarchist plot, and that the conspira- 
 tors against law and order would commemorate 
 the event by throwing bombs amongst the vast 
 crowd which would assemble to witness the 
 experiment. 
 
 On another occasion, at the Hague, the police 
 had to draw their swords in order to keep the 
 mob back during the progress of an experiment. 
 A Flemish mob has exceedingly brutal instincts, 
 and the blue-bloused ouvriers have a nasty 

 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts* 
 
 knack of trying their sabots upon the unsus- 
 pecting onlooker's shins, whilst >a blindfolded 
 thought-reader who couldn't see what they were 
 up to would be an exceptionally attractive mark 
 for these peculiar expressions of affection. 
 A Red- Once, in the backwoods of America, an Indian 
 the" and scout > with malice prepense, hid my bottle of 
 whiskey, whiskey, and said I should go drinkless to bed 
 unless I could find it. 
 
 Now I was thirsty and there was nothing but 
 cold water and who cares for mere water in 
 the backwoods ? with which to wash down the 
 dry bread and cheese, and I was angry at the 
 trick played me ; but, the Indian being a more 
 powerful man than myself and consequently 
 unlickable, I curbed my anger and sought to 
 satisfy my thirst by finding the hidden bottle. 
 
 Never was an experiment undertaken with 
 greater zest. 
 
 I rushed that redskin about until every nerve 
 in his body was a-jar, but I found the whiskey 
 hid at the foot of a gigantic cedar. 
 
 Then I supped whilst the Indian smoked. 
 
 In his eyes I am the greatest medicine-man that 
 he has ever known, and I verily believe he would 
 scalp his own grandmother did I but express the 
 wish. 
 
 It is not, of course, always such straight sail- 
 ing. Sometimes the subject unconsciously, and 
 at other times purposely, deceives one. 
 
 There are many people in the world who, 
 whilst ethically honest almost to an extreme,
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 33 
 
 are physiologically dishonest without scruple. 
 With these people but very little can be done in 
 the matter of thought-reading, the success got 
 depends as much upon their honesty of purpose 
 as it does upon their concentration of thought. 
 Such people think it a smart thing to " do " a 
 thought-reader ; and, whilst outwardly promis- 
 ing to obey all conditions, will not hesitate to 
 do their level best to inwardly exert themselves 
 to thwart the operation, counting such action 
 perfectly legitimate and proper. 
 
 One of the most notable instances of this kind 
 occurred with the renowned General Ignatieff, General 
 whom I had the honour of meeting one night 
 at supper at the palace of Count Paul Schouva- 
 loff, in St. Petersburg. 
 
 In the course of the evening the author of 
 the San Stefano treaty and a well-known officer 
 of the court elected, for the purposes of an experi- 
 ment, to imagine themselves a pair of bandits. 
 
 The General was to enact the role of the 
 robber and the aide-de-camp was to do the 
 murdering, for the experiment consisted of way- 
 laying a Queen's messenger, first killing him and 
 then robbing him (all in imagination, of course,) 
 of his despatches. 
 
 During my absence from the room, the way- 
 laying, killing and robbing was done, and on my 
 return I proceeded to re-enact the entire scene. 
 
 With the officer as a " subject " I speedily indi- 
 cated the person selected as the victim, and at 
 once re-enacted the murder in all its details, 
 
 D
 
 34 ^ Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 even unto wiping the imaginary blood-stains from 
 off the knife and upon the carpet, as had been 
 done by the " murderer " in the first instance. 
 
 Then came the turn of General Ignatieff, who, 
 
 in his role of robber, had stolen some papers 
 
 representing the despatches and hidden them 
 
 somewhere in the salon. 
 
 The With the General I experienced a difficulty at 
 
 General 
 
 as a the outset. He is an exceedingly stout man, 
 
 "subject.", an( j has a na t ur al disinclination to move fast, 
 and the dominant idea in his mind as I strove 
 to drag him along was : " My dear sir, why this 
 haste ; don't you know I've just supped and 
 that I won't be hurried ? " 
 
 It was therefore, I assure you, quite an effort 
 to get him along. Eventually, however, I 
 mounted a chair and proceeded to explore a 
 vase on the mantle-shelf to which the thoughts 
 of my subject had evidently been going. 
 
 Finding the jar empty, I was considerably 
 disappointed, and in all earnestness I begged of 
 the General to concentrate his thoughts more 
 firmly upon the place where the despatches 
 actually were. 
 
 He promised to do so ; and, what is more, 
 actually kept his promise ; and, before he had 
 time to alter his mind, I had opened the door 
 of a closet at the end of the salon, and there in a 
 corner lay the much sought for papers. 
 
 I was much exhausted at the close of my 
 search, and in a measure vexed ; for I felt that 
 I had not been done quite honestly by.
 
 A Thought- Reader ' s Thoughts. 35 
 
 I therefore asked my subject why he had 
 thought of the vase when the papers were not 
 in it. 
 
 " I think of it ? " he replied, with that look of 
 bland astonishment which he knows so well how 
 to assume. " It was never in my thoughts." 
 
 " C'est impossible, votre excellence ! " 
 
 " Impossible ? C'est juste, monsieur ;" and 
 he bowed his grandest. 
 
 " Really, how can you say so ? " broke in a 
 young lady on our right. " Why, you know 
 very well that you did at first think of putting 
 the papers in the vase, but that, as you said at 
 the time, you thought they would be too easily 
 found, so you put them over there " (indicating 
 the closet). 
 
 General Ignatiefif is a marvellous man, and I 
 quite envied his what the polite call nonchalance 
 and the vulgar cheek ; for, not in the least abashed 
 at thus being bowled out, he simply turned 
 to the young lady, and in his blandest tones 
 said, 
 
 " Ah, ma chere comtesse, what a memory you 
 have. Ma vie ! what a memory ! " and he let 
 fall a silvery little laugh, shaking his forefinger 
 the while in playful reproof. 
 
 General Ignatieff is known amongst the Turks 
 as the " Father of Lies," whilst amongst his own 
 countrymen he enjoys a unique reputation in this 
 direction. 
 
 Personally he is most amiable and good- 
 natured, of sympathetic appearance, and with a 
 D 2
 
 36 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 style of speaking which at once inspires con- 
 fidence. 
 
 He is an industrious, painstaking man, well- 
 read and well-informed upon matters of state, and 
 possesses a very clever wife, of whom he is 
 exceedingly proud. 
 
 The As a diplomatist Ignatieff ranks amongst the 
 
 as e ^ era first in Russia. Beneath that agreeable exterior 
 
 Diplomat. o f the bon garden there are hidden depths which 
 
 very few men can bottom. Whilst the honey of 
 
 his speech is as the voice of the serpent tempting 
 
 you to your fall. 
 
 The trail of the serpent is over most Russians 
 or, as a prominent British statesman puts it, 
 " He lies as only a Russian can " only its traces 
 are more carefully concealed by the educated 
 classes ; and it would take the De'il himself to 
 get even with a Muscovite diplomatist with the 
 appearance of a philanthropist and the unctuous 
 delivery of a well-nourished missionary. 
 M. Lessar. As a "subject" I found M. Lessar very like 
 General Ignatieff : there was the same attempt to 
 dodge me and the same denial of the dodging. 
 
 My experiment with M. Lessar consisted of 
 indicating on a war-map of Afghanistan and the 
 Indo-Russian frontiers the route that the Russians 
 would probably take in an invasion of India. 
 This took place just after the Penj-deh incident, 
 when we were on the verge of a war with 
 Russia ; and the experiment had an additional 
 interest from that fact. 
 
 I pinned the map to the door of M. Lessar's
 
 A Thought -Reader's Thoughts. 37 
 
 sitting-room, and, being blindfolded, took a piece 
 of pencil in my hand for the purpose of tracing 
 out the route thought of. The starting-place, it 
 was agreed, should be Penj-deh. 
 
 At first I drew a line which, skirting Herat, 
 went on towards Candahar, but I stopped half- 
 way, thinking there was something wrong and, 
 turning suddenly to my "subject," I lifted my 
 bandage and said, " But surely this is not your 
 thought ? " 
 
 " Oh no," hastily replied M. Lessar, taken for 
 the moment off his guard ; " I thought of first 
 going to Herat." 
 
 "Just so," I rejoined; "but I thought the 
 Russians had no intention of going to Herat." 
 
 To this M. Lessar simply smiled. 
 
 I have no doubt of M. Lessar's thoughts being 
 centered upon Herat ; but all the time I had 
 contact with him he was doing his utmost to 
 avoid physically betraying that fact. 
 
 I afterwards drew another route, thought of by 
 the eminent savant, which went by way of 
 Maimana, Balk and Cabul. So quickly did 
 M. Lessar's thoughts run in his haste to con- 
 quer India from Cabul to Peshawur that it 
 was with difficulty my pencil kept pace with 
 them. 
 
 M. Lessar is, I believe, a Montenegrin, but that 
 fact does not lessen his interest in the country 
 which he so ably serves. 
 
 Perhaps the most interesting experiment in Mr. H. M. 
 this direction was one performed with Mr. H. M.
 
 38 A Thought-Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 Stanley in Berlin, at the time of the Congo 
 Conference. 
 
 In this experiment we had spread in front of 
 us a new map of the Dark Continent, the object 
 being to find the route of a new expedition 
 which the famous explorer had in his mind, 
 and about which he had not spoken to any 
 one. 
 
 We started at Banana Point, on the Atlantic 
 coast, and following Mr. Stanley's thoughts, I 
 swiftly traced the route up the Congo as far as 
 Falle Station, and then, with my pencil, ran into 
 the Aruwimi River. 
 
 This done, I came to a standstill, and I waited 
 in vain for further impressions from my subject. 
 
 It seemed as if Mr. Stanley were, at this point, 
 uncertain as to the direction to take ; and so it 
 afterwards turned out, for ahead of the place where 
 I had paused was a stretch of unknown country, 
 and it was only when Mr. Stanley had made up 
 his mind which direction to take, that I recom- 
 menced the journey, which finally came to an 
 end in the Gambaragara territory, at a branch 
 of the Kotonga. 
 
 In this test I faithfully followed the explorer's 
 thoughts from the start to the finish, hesitating 
 when he hesitated, and pushing on rapidly at 
 all points when he was certain of his way; Mr. 
 Stanley, I may add, being very much impressed 
 with my success, especially as he considered 
 himself a bad "subject."
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 39 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 WITH the exception, perhaps, of the Spanish, 
 the Russians are the most superstitious people 
 in Europe. 
 
 I have seen ministers fresh from a meeting of 
 the Council of State, sit in all earnestness round 
 a table for the purpose of holding communica- 
 tion with the " spirit world," concerning matters 
 of public as well as private policy. 
 
 The late Czar was a profound believer in Russian 
 what is called Spiritualism, whilst the present stition. 
 Autocrat of all the Russias is, I understand, often 
 guided by the communications he receives from 
 the "spirits." I mention this because even 
 educated Russians repeatedly expressed their 
 belief that my experiments were the result of 
 occult influence, whilst the uneducated classes 
 looked upon me as a veritable limb of Satan. 
 
 In this way I had many curious requests made 
 me. 
 
 Some would ask me if I could tell them if 
 such and such a relative was happy in the other 
 world, if their own lives were cast in an even 
 groove ; if that woman loved him, or this man 
 loved her, and so on, and so on. Peasants 
 asked me to unbewitch their cattle, or to cast a
 
 4O A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 spell over some usurious Jew. People who had 
 lost money asked me to find it, and those who 
 hadn't any wanted to know how to get it. In 
 this way I became a kind of universal inquiry 
 bureau, " without fees of any kind/' 
 
 Sometimes, however, people came to me with 
 the most flattering propositions, and short cuts 
 to opulence were dangled in front of me. But, 
 alas ! in each case there was an " If" to be got 
 over, which obstacle, I need hardly say, ever 
 proved insurmountable. 
 
 Whilst in Warsaw I received a visit of this 
 description from a M. Bartholdi, a well-known 
 Polish landowner. He came to ask my assist- 
 ance in unearthing a mystery surrounding the 
 secretion of a vast sum of money by two 
 peasants who were at the time in prison awaiting 
 their trial. 
 Hidden These men, it was alleged, had, whilst at 
 
 treasure 
 
 work on M. Bartholdi's estate, dug up a chest 
 containing the money buried there by his grand- 
 father during the last Polish rebellion. 
 
 Nothing definite had been proven against 
 them, and there was nothing in reality to con- 
 nect them with the theft beyond the fact that 
 the men had gone into the village for the 
 purpose of purchasing groceries of an old Jew, 
 to whom they tendered some ancient gold 
 pieces. The Jew's suspicions being aroused, 
 and wishing to be on the right side, he re- 
 ported the circumstance to M. Bartholdi, who 
 instituted inquiries, and on going to the place
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 41 
 
 where the men had been at work, a hole in 
 which some iron pot had been, buried was dis- 
 covered. 
 
 Remembering the tradition in his family as 
 to the buried wealth, M. Bartholdi at once con- 
 jectured that the labourers had found the 
 treasure, and that the gold preferred the Jew 
 trader formed a portion of it. 
 
 The men were accordingly arrested and duly 
 examined by the juge <? instruction ; but they 
 maintained an obstinate silence, and no informa- 
 tion of a practical character was arrived at 
 during the examination, and so they remained 
 in prison. 
 
 Despairing of ever getting at the truth of the 
 matter through the ordinary legal channels, M. 
 Bartholdi, as I have already related, came to me 
 with the object of seeing whether I could assist 
 the course of justice. 
 
 The outcome being that we arranged a seance A seance 
 
 . in Warsaw 
 
 with the prisoners in the gaol, the Governor, gaol. 
 
 the British pro-consul, the juge d 1 instruction, 
 M. Bartholdi, and two or three others being 
 present. 
 
 The two men were attired in sheepskin which 
 they had worn from the time of their arrest and 
 which they would doubtless gladly have changed 
 without fuss for a clean prison suit. 
 
 The men were totally dissimilar in appear- 
 ance. One was a stolid, brutal-looking moujik, 
 whilst the other seemed to have been cast in an 
 altogether different mould. I somehow at once
 
 42 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 made up my mind that the former was the 
 actual thief, and that the latter was at the most 
 but an accessory to the fact ; and the experi- 
 ment which I presented amply proved this con- 
 tention. 
 
 I took some pieces of money from my pocket, 
 which the men were told represented some of 
 the coins which they, in their haste to remove 
 the treasure, had dropped on the ground, and 
 that, no matter where they should hide them in 
 the prison, I could find them ; and that, just as 
 easily as I could find money so hidden, so could 
 I discover the stolen box of gold. 
 
 The coins, having been placed in a piece of 
 paper, were given to the first-mentioned 
 prisoner to hide within the knowledge of his 
 companion, I being out of the room the while. 
 On my return I took the former as a "subject," 
 but, as I had anticipated, I could make nothing 
 out of him. He was not content with stolidly 
 declining to think of the place, but he refused to 
 accompany me in my peregrinations around the 
 room. 
 
 With the other prisoner it was quite dif- 
 ferent. 
 
 The Directly I came in contact with him, I felt 
 
 confessed. him thri11 with excitement; and with perfect 
 ease I took him to an ancient Russian stove let 
 into the wall, and having unscrewed the door, I 
 scraped from out of the ashes the hidden coins. 
 The man seemed terrified, and he straightway 
 made the following confession : That he and
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 43 
 
 his companion were digging in the woods, when 
 his companion's spade struck something hard, 
 which proved to be an iron chest full of gold 
 pieces. They took a few in order to purchase 
 groceries and other necessaries. It was their 
 intention, he said, to share the money and get 
 away from Russia ; but that, when he went to 
 the place with his companion the next morning, 
 for the purpose of removing the chest, he found 
 that it was gone, and his friend then told him 
 that he had got up in the night, and had re- 
 moved it to a safe spot on his own account. He 
 explained that he had been forced to keep the 
 secret because his companion avowed he should 
 never have a single coin if he said anything of 
 the original discovery of the money. " But," he 
 added shudderingly, " if I only knew where this 
 money now was, this ' devil-man,' pointing to- 
 wards me, would be sure to find it out." And 
 he vigorously crossed himself. 
 
 How this case ended I don't know, as I have 
 not been to or heard from Warsaw since. 
 
 Whilst I am now with the reader at Warsaw, 
 it will not, I venture to think, be out of place to 
 relate an experience I had with General Gourko 
 (the hero of the Shipka Pass incident), Governor- 
 General of Poland. 
 
 His Excellency was pleased to give a reception General 
 in my honour at the old palace of the Polish Gourko. 
 kings ; and, during the evening, he asked me if 
 I thought it would be possible to trace out, by 
 my process of thought-reading, the plan of an
 
 44 A T hought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 imaginary military action. I replied that 
 I had never tried such an experiment, but 
 that I did not despair of its possibility. He 
 thereupon offered himself as a " subject." In 
 the experiment proposed he was to imagine 
 that he was on a battle-field, and that he wished 
 to lead a corps tfarm/e in a certain direction in 
 order to capture a redoubt. To accomplish 
 this he warned me he should make some very 
 intricate manoeuvres. The whole thing being 
 firmly fixed in his mind we left the big " yellow 
 drawing-room " in which the guests were 
 assembled, and at a jog-trot entered the " red 
 drawing-room " at its foot. For a moment we 
 paused whilst we passed through a doorway into 
 a passage. Here we went slowly and cautiously, 
 the passage representing, in the General's mind, 
 a rocky defile. At the end of the passage, how- 
 ever, I wheeled sharp round to the right and 
 found myself in the " blue room." After going 
 across to one t>f the corners of this chamber, 
 which heads the centre " yellow room," I made a 
 sudden dash with all my speed into that room, 
 upsetting one or two people in my haste, and 
 finally paused at a huge settee surmounted by 
 flowers, upon which I planted a handkerchief 
 which did duty for the Russian flag. 
 
 I was, the Governor-General afterwards said, 
 exact in every movement. 
 
 The censor This experiment caused considerable excite- 
 
 vened. ment in Warsaw, and when an account of it was 
 
 sent to the local papers, the censor forbade its
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 45 
 
 being printed. That functionary afterwards 
 voluntarily assured a friend of mine that it 
 would have been highly injudicious to have 
 made such an affair public, as the Russians, in 
 their superstition, would, in the first place, have 
 imagined I was a greater man than his Excel- 
 lency, and that, in the second place, I might, in 
 time of war, use my skill towards interpreting 
 the Governor-General's plans to the enemy. 
 
 In the domestic circle General Gourko is an 
 exceedingly amiable, agreeable man, and on 
 each occasion that I met him I found him 
 invariably courteous ; but what he is in his 
 official life I know not, as I never came in 
 contact with him officially. In Russia he is 
 looked upon, since SkobelefFs death, as the 
 country's greatest general, whilst in Turkey 
 there .is no Muscovite soldier's name so hated 
 and feared. As Governor-General of Poland, 
 he, from a Polish point of view, is not a success ; 
 of course no Russian Viceroy could ever hope to 
 be popular amongst the Poles ; but his adminis- 
 tration would be better tolerated were it not 
 for the part played in it by Madame Gourko, 
 who is terribly anti-Pole in every way. 
 
 The administration of the Governor-General- 
 ship of Poland is that of Madame Gourko, and 
 not of her husband, the grey mare being far and 
 away the better horse, and woe betide the man 
 having official dealings with the Government 
 who ventures to think otherwise. 
 
 Well I remember how I was enjoined in St.
 
 46 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Petersburg to get on the right side of Madame 
 Gourko when I visited Warsaw. 
 
 " Here is a letter to his Excellency," said a 
 distinguished diplomatist; "not that it will be of 
 much use unless you have a letter to Madame ; 
 Madame is General Gourko, you know." 
 
 I was glad I secured letters to Madame 
 Gourko, for the statement that I had letters to 
 present to the Governor- General obtained for 
 me but a chilly reception when I presented 
 myself at the Palace in Warsaw, whilst the 
 knowledge that I was the bearer of recommenda- 
 tions to Madame likewise put every one at my 
 service. 
 
 Madame Gourko, I hold you in high admira- 
 tion as a clever, determined woman, and I am 
 indebted to you for your hospitality ; but, all the 
 same, I thank Heaven I am not a Pole living in 
 Poland. 
 
 How bitter the feeling between Russians and 
 Poles still is no one who has not visited Poland 
 and has not come in contact with all classes 
 can form any idea. The animosity between 
 the two races is, I think, much greater amongst 
 the educated than the lower classes. 
 
 Russians In what is called society, Russians and Poles 
 and Poles are scarce iy on speaking terms ; in fact, they 
 seldom if ever mix. 
 
 At Government House I met Russians only, 
 whilst in strictly Polish circles I never came 
 across a Russian. 
 
 One night I gave a reception at my hotel, at
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 47 
 
 which almost everybody of note in Warsaw 
 both Russians and Poles were present. But 
 even there they would not mix : the Russians 
 congregated in one part of the salon (which 
 luckily was large enough for that purpose) and 
 the Poles in another. 
 
 Thinking I might bring the two opposing 
 elements together I decided to give some 
 thought-reading experiments ; and when I went 
 out of the room, whilst the things to be found 
 were being hidden, I took with me a prominent 
 Russian official and a distinguished Pole. Now, 
 I thought, they will make common cause over 
 so universal a subject as thought-reading ; but, 
 immediately they got outside they turned their 
 backs on t each other and neither spoke until 
 they returned to the salon, when one told the 
 audience in Russian, and the other in Polish, 
 that I could have had no knowledge of what had 
 been done in the room during my absence from 
 it. 
 
 Whilst in Warsaw I was induced to give a 
 couple of public seances ; and the Mayor-Presi- 
 dent agreed to place the magnificent banqueting 
 room of the Hotel de Ville at my disposal ; for 
 the use of which I offered to give 10 per cent, of 
 the gross receipts to the poor ; it being agreed 
 that the usual taxes and charges on account of 
 the poor should be waived. 
 
 This agreement between the Mayor-President A 
 and myself was, alas ! but a verbal one; and I wor( i. 
 certainly ought to have known better than to
 
 48 A Thought -Reader's TJioughts. 
 
 have taken the mere official word of a Russian, 
 even though he were his Excellency the Mayor- 
 President. 
 
 The honour which his Excellency did me in 
 granting the use of the hall turned out in the 
 end a very costly one; and my pride had a 
 rude and unexpected fall. 
 
 The first difficulty arose in connection with 
 the permission to give the representations, which 
 had to be obtained of the Polizei-President. I 
 attended at the office for the purpose of con- 
 forming with the requirements of the law ; and 
 was told to draw up the petition (which should 
 be written by myself only) in my native 
 tongue. This I did, paying for the stamps 
 which must accompany such petitions. 
 Red-Tape. In a day or so the form was returned with the 
 intimation that it was irregular, English not 
 being understood at the police bureau; and 
 that I must write it in Russian. 
 
 Now the truth is I can't write Russian, so I 
 got a friend to write it for me, putting my sig- 
 nature at the bottom. More stamps were 
 bought and affixed, and in went the petition. 
 
 A day or so passed before I got any reply, 
 and without permission I dared not advertise the 
 meetings, the time for which was getting peril- 
 ously close. At last, I received a notification 
 that the body of the petition and the signature 
 were not in the same handwriting and conse- 
 quently it could not be entertained in that 
 form.
 
 A Thought- Reader' s Thoughts. 49 
 
 This naturally enraged me, and I sought an 
 interview of the Polizei-President, to whom I had 
 previously presented a letter of introduction. 
 He was at his bureau ; and I was kept waiting 
 with my secretary in an anteroom for goodness 
 knows how long, but quite long enough for me 
 to lose the remnant of patience that was left to 
 me. 
 
 But it is no good getting out of patience in 'Back- 
 Russia ; so I bottled my wrath and unbuttoned sheesh -" 
 my pocket (Backsheesh is the only open sesame 
 in Russia), and in a few moments I was informed 
 that his Excellency (who wasn't, I believe, ere 
 this, aware of my being present), would be 
 pleased to see me. 
 
 A policeman mounted guard with a drawn 
 sword over the entrance to his chief's sanctum ; 
 and he made a careful survey of me and my 
 companion before we were allowed to enter. 
 Indeed, our sticks were taken from us as we 
 were entering, and I fully thought that over- 
 zealous official was going to run us through 
 when he snatched them out of our hands. 
 
 A more nervous, timorous-looking man than A Polizei- 
 the Police-President at Warsaw I don't think I Presideat - 
 ever saw ; and, although he knew us to be bent 
 upon a peaceful errand, and to be persons as far 
 removed from suspicion as it is possible for any 
 one in Russia to be, he certainly seemed to be 
 anything but at home whilst we were there ; and 
 as he glanced from time to time uneasily at the 
 door, I thought every moment he was going to 
 
 E
 
 5O A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 shout for that fierce-looking sentinel with the 
 drawn sword. 
 
 He, however, promised to put straight the 
 matter upon which we had come, and he cer- 
 tainly kept his promise, but it was so late before 
 I received the permit, that there was barely 
 time in which to announce the meetings. 
 
 Announcements, it should be added, although 
 as a matter of course they may be printed 
 throughout in Russian, cannot be made entirely 
 in Polish (and it is a Polish public an entertainer 
 draws from), the usual way is to print the tops 
 of the bills in Russian, and the bottom in Polish. 
 The affiches are then exhibited in compartments 
 fashioned like a rabbit-hutch, placed at specified 
 points in the highways and byways of the city. 
 These cages are locked and the keys kept by 
 the government officials, so that no one may 
 tamper with the announcements or insert sedi- 
 tious matter. 
 
 Bill-post- In St. Petersburg, by-the-bye, bill-posting 
 Russia. outside of official proclamations is not allowed, 
 all announcements of entertainments and such- 
 like events have to be made in the newspapers 
 or through the medium of an advertising sheet, 
 under government supervision, which is sent to 
 the houses of subscribers. 
 
 Before the tickets could be placed on sale 
 they had first to be stamped at the bureau of 
 the State Theatre ; and this caused additional 
 delay. But eventually these difficulties were 
 overcome, and the meetings were given.
 
 A T hought- Reader s Thoughts. 51 
 
 They, in spite of the delay, were a great 
 success, realizing several thousand roubles. 
 
 The money was taken by government offi- 
 cials ; and an officer and some gendarmes stood 
 at the box-office with drawn swords, with the 
 object presumably of protecting my interest; at 
 least, I thought so at the time, and I was accord- 
 ingly proud of the attention shown me. But 
 later on came the settling. 
 
 The money was brought in to me in a private My 
 room, together with a statement of account. receipts. 
 
 I looked at the total, and my heart rejoiced ; 
 but my spirits fell below zero when the contra 
 account was presented. 
 
 I had, of course, expected to have paid, in 
 addition to the ten per cent, of the gross receipts 
 for the poor as agreed upon, merely a small sum 
 for the lighting and seating of the hall, with a 
 pourboire to the attaches who looked after the 
 interior arrangements. But first there was a 
 claim of some thirty per cent, of the total to be 
 paid to the theatre department ; the theatre, in 
 consequence of my meetings, having, it was 
 urged, done little or no business. 
 
 I protested most strongly, and stated my 
 arrangement with the Mayor-President. 
 
 " Had I his Excellency's written contract ? " 
 
 " No, monsieur ? We are very sorry, then ; 
 but these are our instructions, and, as you will 
 see, it is the law." 
 
 It was, alas ! the law ; and the first robber 
 took his share. 
 
 E 2
 
 52 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 The contra Then came deductions on behalf of police, 
 mt ' city and poor taxes, each for a substantial 
 amount, whilst the charge for lighting was made 
 on the basis that I had been burning gold instead 
 of wax. The items for cleaning, attendance, 
 and alterations totted up a goodly roll of rou- 
 bles. These I paid, but my patience was ex- 
 hausted when the janitor demanded a sum of 
 one hundred roubles (about 10) for damage 
 done to the gallery, which had not been used, 
 or, as a matter of fact, opened during my 
 tenancy. 
 
 This fact I indignantly pointed out; but this 
 functionary merely shrugged his shoulders and 
 informed me that the fact of the gallery not 
 having been used had nothing to do with the 
 matter; there it was to be used, and to be 
 damaged to the extent of one hundred 
 roubles ; and if I had not used it and had my 
 damage worth, that was my fault, and not 
 his. 
 
 The last At first I was inclined to laugh, the whole 
 straw. thing was so droll, but the man didn't in the 
 least treat the thing as a joke, and was coolly 
 proceeding to pocket the money, when the sense 
 of the injustice stirred me so strongly that I 
 placed myself between him and the money and 
 dared him to touch it. 
 
 The situation was a melodramatic one, and 
 was intensified by the fact that the officer of 
 gendarmes was ordered to arrest me if I 
 persisted in my attitude.
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 53 
 
 The gendarmes, it appears, were not, as I had 
 been priding myself, there to protect my pro- 
 perty or rather what I thought was my property 
 but to take me in charge if I refused to pay 
 the claims against me, on the ground of attempt- 
 ing to defraud the State ; and what was all the 
 more galling, I had to pay these gentry and 
 pay them handsomely too for the privilege of 
 being arrested at the sweet will of corrupt 
 officialism. 
 
 But I stuck out, and elected to be arrested, 
 and demanded that a statement embodying the 
 ground upon which I objected to paying the 
 amount should be drawn up and initialled by the 
 British Proconsul and another independent 
 gentleman who were present. 
 
 This did not seem to suit the representatives Ipayunder 
 of Autocracy, and, after some consultation, they 
 agreed, although they claimed to be entirely 
 within the law, to let the matter remain under 
 protest for reference to the Mayor; the money of 
 course remaining the while in their possession ; 
 and there it remained for all time, for, need- 
 less to say, I never saw a single copeck of it 
 again. 
 
 It is only fair, however, to say that the rules 
 distinctly said that all damage done to the 
 beautifully gilded gallery should be made good 
 by the occupier of the hall, and that the sum of 
 100 roubles was invariably charged as damage 
 every time the gallery was used ; and the fact 
 of my not having used that section of the hall
 
 54 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 was looked upon as a mild attempt to defraud 
 the administration of a handsome perquisite. 
 
 The red-tapeism of Russian officialism is a 
 thing " no fellah can understand." 
 
 In the end my receipts were shaved down, 
 what with one demand and another, to the most 
 modest proportions ; but there were still two 
 other claims to be paid, viz. the percentage I 
 had promised to give to the poor, and the amount 
 for chair-hire. 
 
 " His Excellency the Mayor-President informs 
 me," said a most cautious understrapper, " that 
 you promised to give a donation of ten per cent, 
 of the receipts to the blessed poor ; " and he 
 desired me to pay him that amount. 
 The " Blessed poor " (well, the word wasn't exactly 
 
 "Blessed "blessed ;" but then the provocation was great) 
 " why, you have received already ten times the 
 amount I originally promised to pay ; and I 
 absolutely refuse to pay ten per cent, of what I 
 have never received. The most I will do is to 
 pay ten per cent, of what remains, and I hope 
 the blessed poor" (this time it really was 
 " blessed ") " may get it." 
 
 Officialdom at first protested, but on my 
 vowing my intention to go there and then to 
 his Excellency, no matter where he was (and 
 it was,. I may add, very late), that, after a secret 
 conversation, they decided to accept my offer. 
 
 One official, whose itching palm I had greased, 
 afterwards informed me that these were his 
 Excellency's actual instructions, but that the
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 55 
 
 man had desired to make something for him- 
 self. 
 
 " We are so wretchedly paid," he added, with 
 a sigh, " that we must make a bit for ourselves 
 whenever we can." 
 
 Then came the last item on the contra account, The Jew's 
 viz. the charge for the seating of the hall. This accc 
 had been done by an old Jew, and, as things 
 went in Russia, the charge seemed fair enough ; 
 but now that every one had had his slice of the 
 pound of flesh, intense virtuousness prevailed 
 amongst the crowd of officials ; and they one 
 and all commenced an attack on the unfortunate 
 Son of Israel. 
 
 He was a " thief," a " dog of a Jew," " a liar 
 who imposed upon the innocent stranger," and 
 so on. 
 
 I really felt sorry for the poor old man, who 
 loudly protested that the charge was fair and 
 reasonable. 
 
 " Fair, and reasonable, you vile thief!" shouted 
 the functionary whom I had " backsheesed," and 
 in whose department the matter came, "don't you 
 know that this seance is given for the blessed 
 poor ? And you would rob the poor and this 
 gentleman, a stranger who is a friend of his 
 Excellency the Governor-General ! You fully 
 deserve to be arrested ! " And silencing the un- 
 fortunate trader by further threats, he reduced 
 his account by about one half; and, amidst a 
 storm of abuse, the bitterly complaining Jew was 
 shown the door.
 
 56 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 As a result of the subtractions above men- 
 tioned I in the end received about one-third of 
 the total receipts, out of which I had to pay the 
 advertising and printing accounts, and other ex- 
 penses ; but how much of the remaining two- 
 thirds went to the poor I leave it to the reader 
 to surmise. 
 
 referred to * ma Y mention that I never saw the Mayor- 
 theTzar. President again, although I sought him fre- 
 quently, whilst the distressed Israelite haunted 
 my hotel with his lamentations until I left 
 Warsaw. I, however, made a report on the 
 subject to his Excellency the Viceroy, and was 
 informed that the matter was unfortunately out- 
 side his jurisdiction, and that I should have to 
 lay the matter before the Tzar, when probably 
 his Majesty, under the circumstances, would 
 order the return of the money. 
 
 T have on some occasions been weak enough 
 to throw good money after bad ; but on this 
 occasion I bore my loss with as much equanimity 
 as was possible under the circumstances, and 
 decided not to waste a single copeck upon stamps 
 for the petition. 
 
 If I had pursued the matter, I wonder how 
 much it would have cost me to have finally been 
 told that what official Russia once swallows she 
 never disgorges ! 
 
 Russian Russia is at once the most corrupt and despotic 
 
 officialism, country in the whole world. No one is virtually safe 
 
 from its despotism, or, in an official sense, able to 
 
 escape its corrupting influences. It would be
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 57 
 
 extremely difficult to find one honest man in 
 official Russia. Muscovite officials may be born 
 honest, but they certainly are not made. The 
 only absolutely honest men, men in whom you 
 could repose trust and confidence, that I came 
 across in the Russian official world, were the 
 Germans. 
 
 With the other government functionaries, I 
 found corruption on every side, and it would 
 have been almost impossible to have said which 
 of them would not have done those things he 
 ought not to have done, or left undone the things 
 he ought to have done, if one made it worth his 
 while either way. 
 
 What Russian official indeed from the 
 servant who opens the door, to the minister who 
 sits in his gilded chamber is entirely insensible 
 to a tip ? 
 
 Tipping is in fact practised as a fine art in Tipping in 
 Holy Russia ; and a novice is likely to come to Russia - 
 grief in the distribution of his little favours, 
 unless he be well grounded beforehand ; and 
 woe-betide the unfortunate one who makes this 
 false step. For there is no one so severely 
 virtuous as the Russian official when the 
 backsheesh is either insufficient or injudiciously 
 bestowed. 
 
 There is an unwritten law in connection with 
 this matter, a knowledge of which may be of 
 service to the uninitiated. 
 
 To a mere servant or attendant, tips can be How to 
 openly and freely given : they need not be tlp>
 
 58 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 large ; but to insure faithfulness they must be 
 frequent. To a major domo and aide-de-camp 
 or any such person of trust, backsheesh must 
 be delicately and judiciously conveyed. For 
 instance, on taking your leave after making a 
 call, press his hand in courteous farewell, slipping 
 in a note the while. 
 
 and whom Such a man, I may add, can from practice 
 almost tell the value of a note by touch, and as 
 invariably is a person of a nice sense of honour ; 
 great care should be taken to let the amount 
 come within his expectations, otherwise his sus- 
 ceptibilities are likely to be offended, and then 
 he may cut up rough. This class of officials 
 has a long memory and is often extremely 
 vindictive. 
 
 With a minister at the head of a department, 
 the greatest possible care must be taken in dis- 
 tributing backsheesh, for there are numerous 
 instances on record, where aspirants for minis- 
 terial favour have in vulgar parlance come a 
 cropper through injudicious tipping, injudicious 
 either on the ground of pecuniary unsuitability 
 or in the method of conveyance. For a 
 minister whose palm is itching with uncomfort- 
 able eagerness for the much-desired backsheesh, 
 will freeze the would-be giver with becoming 
 virtuous indignation, should the amount be 
 openly proffered, or make him tremble for 
 his very life if the little present does not come 
 up to ministerial expectations. 
 
 The method most in vogue in dealing with
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 59 
 
 4 
 
 notables is to convey the bribe in a manner 
 suggestive of accident rather than intention. 
 
 For instance you have, we'll say, interviewed Squaring a 
 
 ... , , r minister. 
 
 the minister and have stated the nature of your 
 requirements, and are in conclusion only waiting 
 for a suitable opportunity to hand him that 
 which shall commend you to his personal 
 consideration. You cannot tip him outright, 
 and he would probably scorn to receive it with a 
 handshake a form beneath his dignity so you 
 do it covertly, something after the following 
 fashion. 
 
 You place a bank-note in a handkerchief in 
 your tail pocket, and as you are taking your 
 departure you (quite casually, of course) pull 
 out your handkerchief, and out flutters the 
 note. 
 
 Such an act, however, requires both practice 
 and delicate manipulation (and an old hand can 
 flutter a note as gracefully as a court dame can 
 sweep her train), for it is essential that the note 
 should fall within the radius of the minister's 
 desk to be appropriated by his Excellency in 
 due course; otherwise, should it float in the 
 direction of the major-domo, that functionary 
 is likely to appropriate it as his perquisite. 
 
 This, you can well understand, annoys the 
 minister, and is calculated to seriously prejudice 
 your suit. 
 
 Great in fact, the greatest care should also 
 be exercised in seeing that the note is of suffi- 
 cient value, otherwise, although you may flit it
 
 60 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 with becoming dexterity right within the 
 minister's reach, you run the risk of being 
 arrested for attempting to bribe his Excellency 
 which in Holy Russia is a truly heinous 
 offence ! 
 
 I never had enough money to bribe a minister 
 (although I learned to do the handkerchief trick 
 quite skilfully before I left Russia], but I frankly 
 admit having tipped numerous lesser officials, 
 which all in all came to quite a respectable 
 sum. 
 
 Seeing M. On one occasion I had an important appoint- 
 ment with M. de Giers, the Minister of Foreign 
 Affairs ; but on presenting myself at his palace 
 I was informed by the portier that his Excel- 
 lency was not at home. 
 
 " Not at home ! " I replied, in blank astonish- 
 ment, for only a few minutes before M. de Giers 
 had sent a messenger to my hotel saying he was 
 then ready to receive me. 
 
 " Nicht zu Hause," he replied curtly in 
 German. 
 
 " That is impossible," I said, informing him 
 of the message just received from his Excel- 
 lency. 
 
 " Bei mein Gott er ist nicht zu Hause," and 
 the gold-laced individual stamped his foot 
 angrily. 
 
 Now I felt instinctively that the man was 
 lying on his own account, and not by order of 
 his master, so I looked him straight in the face 
 and said,
 
 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 61 
 
 " What does your God cost ? " 
 
 " Zehn rouble" It cost ten 
 
 The ten roubles changed hands, and the surly roubles - 
 fellow at once became all smiles and obsequious- 
 ness, and without further ado I was shown up- 
 stairs, where his Excellency was awaiting me. 
 
 Had I not backsheeshed, I should never have 
 seen M. de Giers that day. 
 
 On another occasion I had some important 
 business to transact with a minister of State; 
 but on calling, by appointment, with a travelling 
 companion of mine, Mr. L. C. Hurt, we were 
 informed by a gold be-braided, eagle-bedecked 
 functionary that his Excellency was not at 
 home. 
 
 This I did not believe, and I told the man to 
 send up my name ; but he persisted in saying 
 his master was out, and at the same time he 
 made a movement as if to put an end to all 
 argument by shutting the door in our faces. 
 
 There was no help for it, so I gave him a 
 rouble. He still, however, maintained that his 
 Excellency was not in, although his attitude 
 was somewhat less aggressive. 
 
 I felt that the man lied, and however much For three 
 one might dislike rewarding a liar, no matter [j u d t ^ s e e 
 how skilful he might be, I knew that the only truth, 
 way to get at the truth, the whole truth, and 
 nothing but the truth, was by increasing the 
 backslieesh. 
 
 This I did, giving him another rouble. At 
 this he thawed and amidst a great show of
 
 62 A Thought- Reader } s Thoughts. 
 
 regret he informed me the minister was in, but, 
 that unfortunately, he was asleep and so could 
 see no one. 
 
 Another rouble and the man had gone up- 
 stairs to see if his Excellency were up. By-and- 
 by he returned with the message that ' His 
 Excellency was up, and would be glad to see us.' 
 He was in fact very much up, and had grown 
 impatient at waiting for our arrival, of which I 
 am fully convinced he had never been informed. 
 On mentioning this matter afterwards, I was 
 told to remember that I was in Russia, and that 
 if I had given the servant a rouble when I had 
 first called, I should not have had to give him 
 three roubles then. 
 
 Russian St. Petersburg during the season is an ex- 
 society, ceedingly gay capital ; and its society is, with 
 the exception perhaps of Vienna, the most 
 brilliant in Europe. The Russians in society 
 are lavishly hospitable, and I shall ever retain 
 pleasant, in fact grateful recollections of the 
 hospitality extended to me on all sides whilst in 
 Russia, from the Imperial Family downwards. 
 An educated Russian of either sex is a most 
 charming person, full of information, and speak- 
 ing several languages fluently ; and those who 
 are fortunate enough to have whilst in Russia 
 entree into the best circles, without coming in 
 contact in any shape or form with officialism, 
 cannot fail to be delighted with their visit and 
 to leave the country almost more Russian than 
 the Russians.
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts, 6; 
 
 But let a stranger an impatient Englishman 
 (an Englishman, by-the-bye, is generally im- 
 patient in a foreign country) we'll say have 
 dealings with official Russia, as distinct from 
 social Russia s and it will not take long before he 
 wishes himself well out of the country. A more 
 oppressive, all-round hateful form of govern- 
 ment than that of Bureaucratic Russia it would 
 be impossible to imagine. 
 
 My dealings with Russian officialism whilst 
 not extensive, were amply sufficient to weary me 
 of a visit to a country where otherwise I was 
 having, to use an Americanism, " A real good 
 time." 
 
 No one is free from suspicion in Russia, no 
 matter what his rank may be, and God help 
 the poor and friendless who become suspects of 
 the police. Even I, an humble traveller, was 
 on several "occasions viewed with a suspicion 
 which was often as intolerable as it was wholly 
 unwarrantable. 
 
 Frequently I was watched and followed by Dogged 
 members of the secret police ; and in the police b . y detec ' 
 
 lives. 
 
 bureau there is I daresay a full account of my 
 doings whilst in Russia. Sometimes different 
 men would be deputed to, keep an eye upon me; 
 but as a rule in St. Petersburg at least it was 
 one man with many disguises, who, like Mary's 
 little lamb, stuck to me wherever I went. 
 
 Now, if there is one thing I am proud of, it 
 is my recognition of persons, and a face I have 
 once seen and noted is never forgotten. So the
 
 64 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 individual who evinced such a fatherly interest 
 in me, although he appeared to have a complete 
 Woodin bag of changes, having been noted, did 
 not disguise his presence from me, however much 
 he might have thought so. 
 
 I complained to the police about it, mention- 
 ing that a man who had brought letters of 
 introduction from the German Court to the 
 Russian Court, and who had broken bread with 
 several members of the Imperial family ought 
 at least to be above suspicion. A shrug of the 
 shoulder was the invariable response. One 
 great man to whom I spoke on the subject was 
 much more frank. Laying his hand playfully 
 on my shoulder, he said, 
 
 " My young friend, you forget you are in 
 Russia, and that the nearer you are to the 
 throne the nearer you are to suspicion." 
 Mr. Glad- Another fact is, we English folk ^re not ex- 
 ihTRus? actlv beloved in Russia, indeed, next to the 
 sians. Germans, we are undoubtedly the most hated 
 amongst foreigners. The only Englishman I 
 heard Russians generally speak in praise of was 
 Mr. Gladstone. 
 
 The following curious instance of official 
 regard for the ex-premier is, I think, worth re- 
 cording. 
 
 I was giving a seance in the Imperial Marie 
 Theatre, the use of which had been granted me by 
 special permission of the Czar, for the benefit of 
 the Red Cross Society, and amongst the matter 
 announcing the meeting was a reduced block of
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 65 
 
 the sketch which originally appeared in the 
 Illustrated London Nezvs, of my experiments 
 with Mr. Gladstone in the House of Commons, 
 June i6th, 1884. Now all such advertisements 
 have to be submitted to the Ministry of Police ; 
 and, after an irritating delay, I was informed 
 that the block could not be allowed to appear 
 as it was not certain that it would be agreeable 
 to Mr. Gladstone. In vain I entreated, ex- 
 plained, and got vexed ; the police were obdurate. 
 Finally I appealed to General Gresser, the police 
 President, and then only was the necessary 
 permission accorded. 
 
 It is true that the relations between England 
 and Russia on account of events in Afghanis- 
 tan were considerably strained, and that Mr. 
 Gladstone was then Prime Minister ; but I have 
 often wondered how much backsheesh the police 
 expected to get out of me by this sudden and 
 unexpected regard for the great Englishman. 
 For a suitable metallic consideration, the same 
 officials would, I feel certain, sanction the appear- 
 ance of blocks depicting Mr. Gladstone in every 
 conceivable form of political apostasy. 
 
 During a time when the papers of both coun- Such a 
 tries shrieked war, and even the, Premier sounded f r nd to 
 a noble and warlike note in the House of Russia. 
 Commons, the opinion in St. Petersburg society 
 was that there would be peace. 
 
 " There will be no war," said a Grand Duke to 
 me ; " Mr. Gladstone knows us too well for that." 
 (After a pause), " You know we ail like Mr. 
 
 F
 
 66 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Gladstone, for he is such a good friend to 
 Russia." 
 
 Even Mr. Gladstone himself could not desire 
 more than this.
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 67 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 APROPOS of the experiment performed with Mr. 
 Gladstone in the House of Commons, which took 
 place in the smoking-room at a special stance 
 improvised by Mr. Henry Labouchere, a very 
 curious thing happened. 
 
 The House was sitting at the time, but many Notable 
 men of note were congregated in the smoking- fhe seance, 
 room, and with some of them I had successfully 
 experimented before the then Premier arrived. 
 
 It was a mixed assembly, and members ap- 
 parently completely forgot their political differ- 
 ences in their eagerness to have their own 
 thoughts read, or to see me read the thoughts 
 of others. Conservatives joined hands with Extremes 
 Liberals, Ministers with leaders of the Opposition, ofadstone 
 whilst Mr. Gladstone smiled blandly upon the accepts a 
 
 . , , , chair from 
 
 Home Rulers (with whom he was not on such Mr.Heaiy. 
 good terms as now), even going so far as to 
 accept a chair politely offered by the then irre- 
 pressible Mr. Healy. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone stated from the first that he 
 did not think he would be a good " subject," but 
 I thought otherwise, and begged of him to con- 
 centrate his thoughts firmly upon the number 
 that he had decided upon. 
 F 2
 
 68 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 (It was a number, I should add, consisting of 
 three figures, that the Premier had arranged to 
 think of.) 
 
 " The first figure," I said on taking Mr. Glad- 
 stone by the hand, " is three." 
 
 " Quite right ! " 
 
 " And the next is six." 
 
 " Also correct." 
 
 Then some conflicting ideas seemed to pass 
 through my " subject's " mind, and I suddenly 
 came to a standstill. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone's thoughts were, in fact, upon 
 
 two figures ; and I earnestly requested him to 
 
 think of the remaining figure only, which he did, 
 
 and I at once said, " It is a six." 
 
 366 the This made a total of 366, which was the 
 
 number correc t one. 
 thought of. 
 
 I asked Mr. Gladstone why he had hesitated 
 about the third figure, and why he at first 
 thought of five, and had afterwards altered it to 
 a six. 
 
 The Premier seemed much surprised at the 
 question, and he asked me how I knew he had 
 done so. 
 
 I reminded him that he overlooked the fact 
 of my being a thought-reader, whose duty it 
 was to interpret such changes of thought, where- 
 upon he said, 
 
 " It is perfectly true that I did at first think 
 of 365, the number of days in the year ; but 
 when you had got the first two figures I thought 
 that you, being such a sharp sort of man
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 69 
 
 you will pardon the expression " (this with 
 that most apologetic smile which his friends so 
 dearly love, and his opponents so bitterly envy) a " 
 
 " might by sequence guess the remaining figure, members 
 So at that moment, remembering it was Leap- Year. 
 year, I took the liberty of altering my number 
 to 366. I am afraid thereby I gave you much 
 unnecessary trouble." 
 
 "On the contrary, sir," I said, "you have 
 made the experiment doubly interesting." 
 
 Mr. Gladstone is a man of truly marvellous 
 versatility ; for what other man would have 
 been ready with such an excellent excuse for 
 thus ringing the changes on the figures ; indeed 
 what man in the room at the time knew or 
 rather remembered it was Leap-year until the 
 Premier stated that his remembrance of the 
 fact had caused him to change the number from 
 365 to 366 ? 
 
 I look upon Mr. Gladstone as one of my most g to r ^ e a * e ] 
 
 remarkable " subjects," and he in this capacity markable 
 J r ' . * "subject." 
 
 has made an unfading impression on my 
 memory, not merely because I am the only per- 
 son who has told thoughts that he did not wish 
 to tell, but because his manner of thinking was 
 so wholly different from the generality of 
 " subjects." 
 
 He' began with an apology and ended with 
 one, the intermediate stages being marked with 
 great precision tempered with uncommon cute- 
 ness. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone, although the most dogged of
 
 70 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 men, and wholly immovable when once his 
 mind is made up, is very prolific of ideas, so pro- 
 lific, in fact, that it is impossible for all of them 
 to receive adequate attention. Some are still- 
 born, some promise well but die young, and 
 others mature but to lead a future-less existence, 
 whilst the more vigorous of them strive one with 
 the other for domination. 
 
 In this way an idea gets the upper hand but 
 to find itself dethroned to-morrow, and the to- 
 morrow sees the dominant idea the subject one, 
 and again a subject, idea the dominant one ; 
 not one idea having a fixity of tenure. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone has enough intellect for a 
 dozen average men, and it really seems unjust 
 that one man should have so much, for how is it 
 possible for a man with a desire to be just to 
 each one of the ideas which crowd in upon him 
 to think straight for any length of time ? 
 
 It is, however, manifestly unfair to accuse a 
 man of duplicity who is changeable simply 
 because he is natural. For Mr. Gladstone is 
 naturalness itself ; and whether he acts upon im- 
 pulse or calm deliberation he voices what he at 
 the moment actually feels. 
 
 That he is often carried away by his emotions 
 
 Sympathy and allows his sympathies to get the better of 
 
 judgment. ^ is judgment, no one, I think, will venture to 
 
 deny ; but when these emotions have worn 
 
 themselves out or his sympathies get turned in 
 
 other directions, his views, looked at in moments 
 
 of calm, naturally undergo a material change.
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 71 
 
 It is unfortunate that a man of Mr. Gladstone's 
 mental and physical vigour should, from his very 
 versatility with one foot on shore and t'other 
 on sea as it were often be uncertain of 
 his position ; but, in spite of his indecision, 
 changeability, and general adaptability, Mr. 
 Gladstone is undoubtedly scrupulously honest. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone (I speak of course psycholo- 
 gically and not politically ; indeed the whole 
 chapter has no political reference whatever) is 
 a born leader of men ; and I must confess that 
 in all my travels I have never met another per- 
 son who possesses the natural faculty of leading 
 so strongly marked. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone is a magnetic man, and one at Mr. Glad- 
 first sight feels instinctively drawn towards him : stone * 
 
 * magnetic 
 
 his natural charms are great, but when he chooses man. 
 
 to exert himself he is absolutely irresistible. 
 
 I cannot help thinking without wishing, of 
 course, to be in the least disrespectful that if 
 Mr. Gladstone had not been a politician his 
 natural gifts might have broken out in the direc- 
 tion of mesmerism. 
 
 As it is, he is a political mesmerist without' an Mr. Glad- 
 equal, and some of the results he has achieved mes merist. 
 are quite beyond the art of the most expert 
 follower of Mesmer. 
 
 The mesmerist places shining discs in the 
 hands of his "subjects," and whilst they are 
 gazing thereon, steals away their senses and 
 makes them subservient to his will. The process 
 of the political mesmerist is much the same :
 
 72 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 instead of the metallic disc he dangles some 
 glittering bait in front of the public gaze, and in 
 lieu of the hand-passes reduces them to a coma- 
 tose state by means of his specious tongue- 
 passes. 
 
 " You can't open your eyes," says the mes- 
 merist. 
 
 " I alone can open your eyes," says the political 
 mesmerist. 
 
 " Turn a somersault," enjoins the former. 
 
 " Turn as we turn," enjoins the latter. 
 
 " Ours is the only legitimate performance, we 
 alone are above suspicion : we have no con- 
 federates," shrieks the mesmerist from the plat- 
 form. 
 
 "Ours is the true policy, the only policy. We 
 condemn all jobbery and corruption ; for we 
 alone are honest," cries out the political mes- 
 merist from beneath his party umbrella. 
 
 And so each showman proceeds until the 
 whole bag of tricks has been gone through. 
 Seeing But just as the ordinary mesmerist, through 
 
 own eyes f mistaking his man or from overweening self- 
 confidence, comes across a " subject " who when 
 he is told he can't open his eyes will open them 
 wide and defy him, so does the political mes- 
 merist find a time when his public will rudely 
 break from their thraldom and determine to 
 see with their own eyes instead of with those of 
 their teacher. 
 
 But in Mr. Gladstone's case, he, I take it, will 
 always find a public ready and willing to become
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts* 73 
 
 subject to him, not only because he is politi- 
 cally great, but because he is mesmerically great. 
 
 In spite of all that Professor Tyndall may say 
 about the sin of "raising the most fallible of 
 statesmen into the position of a Pope/' the more 
 impressionable and emotional portion of. the 
 public, who probably cannot think for themselves, 
 will continue to look upon him not only as their 
 Guide, Philosopher, and Friend, but their Political 
 All. 
 
 When people cannot think for themselves, it 
 is well, I suppose, that some one should think 
 for them ; and, in these prosaic days of aggressive 
 disbelief, a little hero-worship is not at all a bad 
 thing, although the idol may have feet of clay ; 
 and having set up their idol, it is only just that 
 such people should do his bidding. 
 
 I am almost convinced so great is his mag- 
 netic influence that were Mr. Gladstone to try 
 his hand at physical mesmerism with those 
 whom he now politically hypnotises, his success 
 would be equally marked. 
 
 Personally, Mr. Gladstone is a most loveable Th e per- 
 
 i- i iv sonal 
 
 man, possessing a charm peculiarly his own : charm 
 that gentle calmness in repose, that tender 
 smile and soft soothing something about him 
 in his sympathetic moments, and the fire and 
 flash of his eye and the intensity of physical ex- 
 pression when in action, draw one like a magnet 
 to his side. 
 
 Emotional himself to an extreme, Mr. 
 Gladstone is ever seeking for some fresh object
 
 74 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 To one upon which he can lavish his affections, often 
 thing con- forgetting, in the adaptability of his tempera- 
 never. ment, his vows and protestations to the old love 
 whom he has in apparent wantonness thrown 
 over for the new. Mr. Gladstone is a much mis- 
 understood man ; and what we don't understand 
 we invariably abuse, the spirit of condemnation 
 being intensified when the object to be con- 
 demned is out of fashion. 
 
 It is possible I may be wrong in my analysis 
 of Mr. Gladstone, who is a man of such varied 
 moods, scarcely any two days finding him alike ; 
 and just as some people, on account of their 
 changeability of expression, never make a good 
 photograph, it may, on similar grounds, be im- 
 possible to give an absolutely correct psycho- 
 logical portrait of the leader of Her Majesty's 
 Opposition. 
 
 But if the portrait I have sketched be incorrect 
 or incomplete, it is the skill and not the inten- 
 tion of the artist that must be questioned. 1 
 
 A letter * Before passing the proofs of this chapter for press, I 
 
 from Mr. se nt them to Mr. Gladstone, with the request that he 
 
 Gladstone. W ould do me the favour of reading and passing judgment 
 
 upon what I had written, it being furthest from my 
 
 thoughts to publish a single line to which he might feel 
 
 justified in taking exception. 
 
 To this letter Mr. Gladstone sent the following reply : 
 
 " MY DEAR SIR. 
 
 I am much obliged by your courtesy ; but I 
 am public property, constantly used as such ; and I am 
 sure it is best that I should not be a party to any review 
 or judgment which any writer may pass upon me. I 
 shall not therefore avail myself of your kind offer. 
 
 Yours very faithfully, 
 May \gth, 1888. W. E. GLADSTONE.
 
 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 75 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 WHILST very few people, I take it, have Mr. 
 Gladstone's versatility and chameleon-like 
 change of thought, there are many who are 
 equally ready with a second figure or a second 
 word to supply the place of the first one 
 thought of in case they find themselves antici- 
 pated. 
 
 Ladies especially are good at this sort of 
 thing, particularly when it is a question of their 
 own age. 
 
 Sometimes, however, it happens that the 
 substitution of a figure or a divergence from 
 the original idea is an unconscious and not an 
 intentional act. I have had people who have 
 undertaken to think of the date of their birth, 
 forget in the middle of the experiment the exact 
 year in which they were born. 
 
 I, of course, cannot tell what a "subject" 
 doesn't himself know ; and, when such hesita- 
 tion occurs, I either put down the various 
 figures which are coursing perplexedly through 
 his mind, or leave off where he commences to 
 hesitate. 
 
 With reference to figure-divining, a very
 
 76 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 remarkable thing occurred in connection with 
 The late an experiment I performed with the late Kaiser 
 
 Kaiser ,.,,, 
 Wilhelm. Wllhelm. 
 
 I visited Berlin three years ago last October ; 
 and I took with me letters to the German 
 Court, which I duly handed over to Graf 
 Perponcher, the Oberhofmarschal, who informed 
 me that he would at once make the Emperor 
 acquainted with their contents on his return to 
 the capital. A few days later his Majesty 
 returned, and he was graciously pleased to 
 express the desire that an early opportunity 
 might be afforded of having " the pleasure of 
 making Mr. Cumberland's acquaintance." The 
 Empress, however, being away, it was not 
 practicable to have the proposed stance given in 
 the palace ; and it eventually took place in the 
 palace of Prince Anton Radziwill, 1 the General- 
 en-suite to the Emperor. 
 
 It was a brilliant assembly, almost everybody 
 who was anybody in Berlin being present. 
 Hisrecep. 1 , I was presented to his Majesty, who was 
 tionofme. seatec j at t h e head of the room, by Prince 
 Anton ; and he received me most cordially. 
 
 His Majesty addressed me in French, being 
 unable to converse in English. He said he had 
 heard much of me, especially from the Austrian 
 Court, and that he was anxious to witness some 
 of my experiments. 
 
 I bowed and expressed a hope that what I 
 
 1 Prince Anton is a cousin of the Prince Radziwill of 
 Paris, to whom I refer in another chapter.
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 77 
 
 might perform would prove of interest to his 
 Majesty ; and asked to be permitted to first try 
 my hand with some of those present. The 
 Emperor having assented, I took Prince Henry 
 of Battenberg as my first subject. His High- 
 ness elected to think of a lady to whom he 
 wished to deliver a spray of flowers. The 
 prince was not a very good subject ; and I had 
 some difficulty in getting at his thoughts, the 
 Emperor watching with interest my movements 
 about the room in search of the lady selected, 
 whom I ultimately found, to the disappointment, 
 I am grieved to say, of many other lovely 
 women present. 
 
 Other experiments followed ; and I wound up 
 with reading the number of a bank-note thought 
 of by Count Hatzfeldt (now German Ambas- 
 sador in London). 
 
 This was the experiment in which the 
 Emperor, who had accorded unstinted approval 
 to everything that had gone before, evinced 
 the deepest interest, and it had, I think, a 
 great deal to do with determining his Majesty 
 in his choice of what to think. For, at the 
 conclusion of the bank-note reading with Count 
 Hatzfeldt, his Majesty expressed his desire to 
 be experimented with. 
 
 He signed to me to approach him : and said Hi s 
 
 Majesty 
 
 he wished to know if I could tell a date he had thinks of 
 in his mind. I assured his Majesty that a date > 
 nothing would give me greater pleasure than to 
 make the attempt.
 
 78 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 " What have I to do ? " he asked. 
 
 " Nothing, your Majesty," I replied, " but to 
 concentrate your entire thought upon the date 
 you have decided upon, thinking of it figure by 
 figure." 
 
 " Is that all ? " 
 
 " That is all, your Majesty." 
 
 "Well, I think I can do that," added the 
 Kaiser with a smile ; and he proceeded to rise 
 from his seat. 
 
 "Allow me, your Majesty," I said, "to have 
 the black-board brought nearer." (It was at 
 the far end of the room). 
 
 " Oh, no ! " replied his Majesty, " I will go 
 to where it is ; " and, taking my arm, for, owing 
 to the weakness of one of his legs, he experi- 
 enced a little difficulty in rising, he rose to his 
 feet. 
 
 Arm in arm we went across the room to 
 where the blackboard stood. 
 
 There I blindfolded myself, and asked his 
 Majesty to look at the board, and firmly con- 
 centrate his thoughts upon the figures he had 
 and I at decided upon. 
 
 once divine __ ... , , , , 
 
 it. He did ,so, and I at once wrote down the 
 
 figures 61. 
 
 Then there was a pause, in which I came to 
 the conclusion that his Majesty had another 
 figure in his mind, and a moment later I wrote 
 underneath the 61 the figure 4, feeling 
 instinctively that the latter figure had no con- 
 nection with the former, so :
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 79 
 
 '61 
 4 
 
 " Wonderful ! wonderful ! exclaimed the 
 Emperor ; " it is my coronation year." 2 
 
 1 asked his Majesty what connection the The expla- 
 figure 4 had with the date 1861 ; and he in- e figure 4. 
 formed me that he had been much struck with 
 
 the fact that the number of Count Hatzfeldt's 
 bank-note was mostly comprised of 4*3, and he 
 supposed he had unconsciously thought of that 
 figure at the moment I had written down the 
 date '6 1 correctly. 
 
 The Emperor was so much impressed with 
 the experiments, that it was nearly eleven 
 o'clock 3 before he left ; which says a great deal, 
 seeing that he invariably retired long before 
 that hour. 
 
 His Majesty warmly thanked me on leaving, 
 adding to Prince Radziwill with a kindly smile, 
 " It is really wonderful, and I have been much 
 interested ; but I shall have Lehndorff scolding 
 me, I am afraid, for being out so late." 
 
 The Kaiser was not only one of the very best The Kaiser 
 "subjects" I have ever experimented with, but*^*" 
 his power of concentration at his great age was 
 
 2 His majesty was crowned King of Prussia the i8th of 
 October, 1861. 
 
 3 The seance began at 8.30; a light supper being 
 served at its conclusion.
 
 So A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 something wonderful. There was no hesitation, 
 no faltering, in his thoughts, neither was there 
 any sign of physical weakness. On the contrary, 
 his grip was like that of a vice ; and in fancy 
 I feel the pressure of the vanished hand. I 
 mention this because many erroneous impres- 
 sions have gone forth to the world respecting 
 the mental and physical activity of the dead 
 monarch ; and as I am the only person who 
 had an opportunity of practically testing his 
 Majesty's powers of concentration I can speak 
 with some authority upon the matter. For be 
 it understood that it would be impossible to 
 write down the numbers that were in a person's 
 mind unless there were an absolute concentra- 
 tion of thought upon his part. Just as I cannot 
 tell what a man does not himself know, I am 
 unable to describe what he is unable to 
 express. 
 
 I read thoughts through interpreting the 
 physical indications conveyed to me by the 
 "subject" under the influence of his concen- 
 trated attention; and, unless a "subject" be 
 able to so concentrate his thoughts as to give 
 the necessary muscular indications, it is morally 
 impossible for me to tell what is in his mind. 
 Nervous For, contrary to general expectation, it is not 
 people as w j tn wea k an d nervous people that I have my 
 
 "sub- J 
 
 jects. ' chief successes ; indeed, experiments performed 
 with such folk invariably turn out failures. But 
 it is with the determined man, the man v/ith the 
 iron will, the man who can concentrate his
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoiights. 81 
 
 thoughts unwaveringly that I can succeed with 
 best. 
 
 Take a nervous man who has thought of an 
 object ; he does his best to concentrate his 
 thoughts upon that object, but long before you 
 have got to it he will probably have given you 
 several erroneous physical indications. Such a 
 "subject" means well, but he is unable to con- 
 trol his natural nervousness ; and during the 
 excitement of the moment and the nervous 
 man as a rule gets much excited over such mat- 
 ters his hand trembles at and over almost every 
 object you may take him to. So much so that 
 it is extremely difficult to distinguish the bona- 
 fide physical indication of the thought from his 
 natural nervous tremblings. The same with a 
 number : the nervous man faces the blackboard, 
 and tries his hardest to fix his mind upon the 
 figures decided upon ; but his hand will shake 
 so much that it is exceedingly difficult to define 
 the shape of any one figure. Then such people 
 are apt to get confused, and to mix up figures in 
 the most perplexing way, or to forget them 
 entirely. 
 
 No, give me the unemotional man, the one 
 who, without hesitation, can make up his mind 
 and stick to it. With such a man you will not 
 have long to wait for the indication you are in 
 search of, and when you receive the indication 
 always of course provided that the man is 
 honest, and is not wilfully leading you astray 
 you know that you are on the right track. 
 
 G
 
 82 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 
 
 Such a man was the late German Emperor. 
 The Next to the activity of intellect displayed by 
 
 Kaiser's fa e Kaiser, the thing that struck me most in 
 connection with him was the extraordinary 
 character of his eyes. 
 
 They were the most wonderful eyes I think I 
 ever saw ; a light, bright blue, so clear as to be 
 almost transparent, they never failed to rivet a 
 stranger's attention. They were, moreover, the 
 most unfathomable eyes into which I ever 
 looked ; yet whilst unfathomable they in their 
 turn were deeply fathoming, the Kaiser being 
 one of the keenest observers, and certainly one 
 of the shrewdest judges of character in Europe. 
 The No monarch ever existed who was more loyal 
 
 l^ah* 5 * t ^ lose w h serve d him, and certainly no 
 monarch showed greater wisdom than he did in 
 his choice of advisers. Through sunshine and 
 storm, good repute and ill repute, he stood by 
 those in whom he had placed his trust, manfully 
 upholding them against all odds ; and how 
 events have justified his discernment and courage 
 all the world knows. 
 
 The Kaiser, simple, kindly, fatherly though 
 he was, was a great stickler for etiquette, and 
 everything in which he was concerned had to be 
 carried out with punctilious exactness. Well I 
 remember, at the seance at Prince Radziwill's, 
 asking one of the illustrious personages present 
 to make a statement to the fact that I had cor- 
 rectly read his thoughts in connection with a 
 certain intricate experiment in which he had
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 83 
 
 taken, part, to be told that he was not permitted 
 to address the society in his Majesty's presence. 
 " It is only you and Prince Radziwill who are 
 permitted to do so," he added, " you are the one 
 his Majesty has come to see and to hear, and 
 Prince Anton is the host ; we, for the time being, 
 are mutes." 
 
 Although I only had this one opportunity of 
 being with his Majesty, we afterwards often met 
 in the open, when he never failed to return my 
 greeting with a kindly sign of recognition ; and 
 on his ninetieth birthday, when I sent him from 
 Morocco my congratulatory widow's mite, he 
 caused a letter to be sent, saying that he had not 
 forgotten me. 
 
 His Majesty's interest in me and in my My in- 
 work acted like magic amongst a nation whose 
 reverence for their Father-Emperor was of sc Kaiser 
 deep-rooted a character. Every one seemed 
 anxious to do me a service or to show me a 
 kindness. I became popular, not only in Berlin 
 but throughout Germany ; and to this day, I am 
 proud to say, I am still remembered. I had a 
 striking proof of this only the other day. when 
 I sent a wreath to lay upon the Kaiser Wilhelm's 
 tomb. There were 1600 wreaths in all; and, 
 amongst so many, it seemed impossible there 
 could be any place for mine. Yet place was 
 found for it ; and most of the newspapers referred 
 to me in connection therewith in tones of kindly 
 sympathy. 
 
 They are kind, brave, honest folk these Ger- 
 G 2
 
 84 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 The cha- 
 
 the Ger- 
 mans. 
 
 mans, and loyal with a loyalty that has no equal 
 amongst any people in the whole world. They 
 are not easy to understand, but when you once 
 occupy a corner in their hearts, there you remain 
 for all time. Their hospitality is not of the 
 showy kind, but it is all the more warm and sin- 
 cere, whilst underlying their materialism and 
 aggressive intellectuality there is a rich vein of 
 sentiment that we stiff, matter-of-fact Britishers 
 know, I fear, but little of. They are a poetical 
 race, these Germans, ponderous of thought, 
 heavy of body, but merry of heart, the song is 
 ever ready on their lips, and the spirit of music 
 always has a place in their souls. I love the 
 Deutschen Charakter because I feel that I under- 
 stand it ; and to understand the Germans 
 is to love them. Although not so readily 
 understood as some of the other nations of 
 Europe whose attractiveness lies more on the 
 ^lirface ; and whilst it, as a rule, requires some 
 pretty deep digging to unearth the nuggets 
 which the German character contains, you do 
 not, as with not a few other peoples, speedily 
 exhaust the surface gold to find merely a non- 
 quartz-bearing rock beneath. 
 
 In some countries one is remembered with 
 acclamation to-day, to be absolutely forgotten 
 to-morrow. Not so in Germany ; there a friend- 
 ship once made is not so lightly broken. 
 
 German The Germans have been very kind to me ; 
 
 friendship. am j j n mv little way I have from time to time 
 endeavoured to show that I am not ungrateful ;
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 85 
 
 and now, when the hand of distress, brought 
 about by flood and storm, presses heavily upon 
 many of them, 4 I am more than ever anxious to 
 prove that the kindness of the past is not for- 
 gotten. Now, whilst the printer is setting up 
 these lines, I shall be making my way towards 
 Berlin with the object of seeing what I can do 
 towards increasing the fund now being raised on 
 the sufferers' behalf. 
 
 With respect to entertainments, a success in Entertain- 
 Germany, from a monetary point of view, is ^"he 
 worth more than a success made in any other Continent, 
 country in Europe. For not only has Germany, 
 with which I include Austria (for if you win 
 Berlin you are almost sure to win Vienna, and 
 consequently Austria) more good " show towns " 
 than any of its neighbours ; but the Germans 
 are above all an amusement-going people. They 
 do not, as in other European countries, limit 
 their love of amusement to the opera, the 
 drama, the circus, or the cafe chantant, but con- 
 certs, miscellaneous entertainments, and even 
 lectures find favour in their eyes. Neither 
 France, Russia, Spain, Italy, nor Belgium is good 
 for what are technically called 1 " hall shows." Al- 
 most everything of importance in those countries 
 must take place in the opera-house, the theatre 
 or the circus ; and in consequence, anything 
 that is given in a salle is invariably viewed in 
 
 4 1 50.000 have, I believe, been rendered homeless by the 
 inundations.
 
 86 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 the light of a mere conference. In consequence 
 of " hall shows " not being in demand in those 
 countries, there are very few public halls to be 
 hired in case you take over an entertainment 
 which is more suitable to a hall than a theatre. 
 
 In Paris, even, there are, so far as I know, 
 not more than two halls of good position and 
 repute ; they belong to rival piano firms, and 
 are chiefly let for concerts and musical recitals ; 
 indeed^ there is always considerable difficulty in 
 getting them for any purpose outside of this 
 class of performance. Both of these halls are 
 small, and not particularly cheap. There are, 
 however, two superb salons at the Hotel Conti- 
 nental, which can occasionally be hired, but 
 they are chiefly let for banquets, balls, and so 
 forth, and the price charged is almost prohi- 
 bitive. The gigantic Trocadero is, of course, 
 entirely out of the question for any single- 
 handed entertainment. 
 
 Thought- My representations in Paris were given in the 
 [heaths! 11 H tel Continental, and in the Salle Hertz, and 
 I managed to get these halls full on each occa- 
 sion. I did not appear at any of the theatres, 
 although I was offered large sums to do so, for 
 the simple reason that I did not think the 
 ordinary theatre-goers would either appreciate 
 or understand my experiments ; whilst it is far 
 more difficult to get representative people on 
 the stage of a theatre to do one's experiments 
 with than it is to get them on the platform at a 
 hall. Besides, one cannot get about so well in
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 87 
 
 a theatre (where the chairs are close together, 
 and invariably fixtures) as in a hall ; and my 
 shins display a sad record of the number of 
 times I have come to grief in trying whilst 
 blindfolded to find objects hidden in theatres. 
 In some of the Continental theatres where I 
 have experimented I have had at times, in 
 order to get at boxes (where the person thought 
 of was sitting or the hidden object was placed) 
 which did not connect with the platform or the 
 area, to go outside and start from the entrance 
 to the boxes in front of the house, or clamber 
 up the sides, dragging the subject after me ; 
 and, as I weigh about thirteen stone, this is not 
 a very light task. Sometimes the subject has 
 not known the way to the box, and we have 
 wandered perplexedly round the theatre, or he 
 has mistaken another box for it, which we have 
 entered to the surprise and indignation of some 
 young couple engaged in an agreeable flirta- 
 tion. 
 
 Once, in Cairo, at the Opera House (which A leap in 
 H.H. the Khedive kindly placed at my disposal) * 
 an event occurred which, if luck had not been 
 with me, might have cut short my career. A 
 well-known English officer had arranged to 
 think out a plan of attack, on the basis of the 
 experiment I had performed with General 
 Gourko, in Warsaw. We started, and I took 
 him over the route that he had in his mind, 
 which finally led to the upper boxes. There 
 we paused ; but I felt that it was my subject's
 
 88 A 7 hought- Reader s Thoughes. 
 
 intention for me to drop from the side of the 
 box, as if in the act of storming a redoubt. 
 Being blindfolded, I had no idea of the distance 
 I had to drop ; but, acting upon the impression 
 conveyed to me by my companion, I took the 
 leap. A confused murmur smote my ears as I 
 made the spring, and it seemed an age before 
 I reached the ground ; but when I did reach it 
 I was forcibly reminded of the fact. I lay on 
 the floor for a few moments partially stunned, 
 with a painful feeling in the region of my back, 
 which had struck one of the folding-seats in my 
 fall. Nothing, however, was broken, but for 
 weeks after I felt exceedingly sore and uncom- 
 fortable. It is only fair to the officer to say 
 that he did not for a moment believe I should 
 have taken the leap, which he had thought of, 
 to use his own words, simply " as a puzzler," 
 and that he at once came to my assistance when 
 I fell. 
 
 In England, thought-reading representations 
 would be out of place in a theatre ; for the 
 class of people who make up a thought-reader's 
 audience would not go to see him there, and 
 the average theatre-goer who might be disposed 
 to see him at a hall, would not care to attend his 
 performance at a theatre. 
 
 With the exception of some special seances 
 given in the Savoy Theatre, 5 in London, by 
 
 5 Outside of the Gilbert and Sullivan's operas, my enter- 
 tainment is the only one_that has filled the entire evening 
 bill at this theatre.
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoiights. 89 
 
 arrangement with Mr. D'Oyley Carte, my re- 
 presentations in this country have been confined 
 to halls; 
 
 In Provincial France, unless arrangements French and 
 
 1-1 117 i German 
 
 can be made with some local cercle, one has no audiences 
 choice but to go to a theatre, where, however, contrasted - 
 a person with a reputation is sure of a good 
 audience. In France reputations are made much 
 more easily than elsewhere ; but they, on the 
 other hand, are much more quickly lost. The 
 French public is not difficult to move, and an 
 entertainer who has a novelty to exhibit can 
 command higher prices in France than (with 
 the exception of Russia) in any other country ; 
 but the patronage of the French is fitful and 
 unsustained ; and an entertainment that would 
 run two or three nights in a German town 
 would run but one night in a French town of 
 the same size. A French audience comes 
 merely to be amused : a Teutonic audience to 
 learn and to be genuinely entertained. The 
 Gaul, when he is not amused, is the most rest- 
 less being in creation : he talks incessantly to 
 his . neighbours, and keeps up a running fire of 
 sarcasm at the expense of the entertainer. 
 Whereas the Teuton stolidly sits his disappoint- 
 ment out, feeling that having paid his money 
 the only thing left is to rest quiet until the 
 thing is over, and that to openly express his 
 displeasure would be simply advertising his 
 folly at being present. But over his beer and 
 his pipe he is not so reticent, and he invariably
 
 go A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 gives expression to his feelings in strong and 
 emphatic language. 
 
 * n ^ t- P eters k ur g there is only one fashionable 
 salon, the property of the Club of the Nobles, 
 to be had, for the use of which 5<D/. per night is 
 charged. The chief theatres are Imperial, and 
 they can only be used by express permission of 
 the Czar, obtained through the Intendant of 
 Theatres. This is also the case in Moscow. 
 
 In Madrid, in the way of public halls, there is 
 only the Salon Romero ; whilst Lisbon has 
 nothing but the foyers of the two leading theatres 
 to offer. Brussels, unlike the Hague, which can 
 boast of having'one of the finest saals in Europe, 
 possesses but one medium-sized hall. But in 
 Berlin and Vienna there are some splendid 
 buildings available for high-class entertainments, 
 whilst no town of any size in either Austria or 
 Germany is without its saal. This is also the 
 case in Holland and throughout Scandinavia. 
 
 But the Germans will not pay so high a 
 price for their amusements as their neighbours 
 across the Rhine ; and one may safely say that 
 where a Frenchman will pay from five to ten 
 francs for a first seat a German will pay from 
 three to five marks. But it is the numbers that 
 tell ; and it would take in France a week to fill 
 a hall which in Germany would be crowded in a 
 night. 
 
 In Germany, when a town is interested in a 
 performance, all classes flock to see it, not merely 
 once, but twice and thrice ; but with a Latin or
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 91 
 
 Slavonic public a high-class performance simply 
 excites the interest of the better classes, and 
 their interest is generally exhausted in a single 
 night. 
 
 It is not because the German public is more 
 easily pleased than its neighbours ; on the con- 
 trary, it is far more critical and observing, and, 
 as a matter of fact, a trashy thing has far less 
 chance of success in Germany than in any other 
 country in Europe. They are a deep-thinking, 
 cautious people these Germans, slow to move, 
 but, once moved, there is no ' bound to their 
 enthusiasm. On the other hand, Latins and 
 Slavonians are far more easily worked up ; they, 
 in their excitable moments, will take at a gulp 
 anything quite irrespective of its merits that 
 may tickle the appetite. The Latins bite first and 
 reflect afterwards, whilst the Teutons reflect first 
 and bite afterwards. 
 
 A German public is, to my mind, the best edu- A" 
 
 intelligent 
 
 cated and all-round most intelligent public I have public, 
 appeared before ; it takes nothing for granted, 
 but listens well and carefully, weighs everything 
 it sees and hears, and then forms its own con- 
 clusions. This intelligence is not peculiar to 
 one class, but is general wherever a number of 
 people are gathered together, simple Hans, who 
 pays in Pfennige for his seat, being as good a 
 listener and as apt a critic as the Herr von who 
 pays in Thaler s. 
 
 One result of my extraordinary success in 
 Germany and Austria was that it proved a
 
 92 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 strong incentive to the unscrupulous to trade 
 upon my name and fame, and impersonators 
 sprang up in various parts of the country, some 
 of them, before they were found out, managing 
 to reap a rich harvest. 
 
 A dis- One of these Chevaliers d' Industrie, more 
 
 double : daring than his fellows, did his swindling on 
 quite a grand scale ; but eventually he, too, was 
 laid by the heels. This happened in Breslau, 
 where he had announced a stance to be given by 
 "Herr Cumberland, der beriihmte Gedankenleser" 
 The public freely responded to his announce- 
 ments, and something like 2OO/. was taken by 
 the local ticket-seller in advance. The ingenious 
 rascal tried his best to get hold of this money, 
 but he only succeeded in getting a portion of it, 
 with which he at once decamped ; but the sus- 
 picions of the ticket-seller being aroused, he 
 went to the police-office, when a warrant was 
 issued for the man's arrest. 
 
 Armed with the warrant, the police proceeded 
 in haste to the station, closely watching the 
 departure of the trains, and they eventually 
 espied my dishonest double swinging himself 
 into the express for Posen just as it was on the 
 point of leaving. The train was stopped, and 
 the would-be passenger ignominiously hauled 
 
 and his ut . He was tried, found guilty, and received 
 
 reward. three years' imprisonment. 
 
 By this time he has, I dare say, come to the 
 conclusion that "doubling" a thought-reader is 
 not, after all, a particularly paying game.
 
 A Thought-Reader' s Thoughts. 93 
 
 This impersonation business at last became 
 so serious that the police authorities took active 
 steps to put it down ; for the public were not 
 only being cruelly swindled by those who de- 
 camped with the money without giving a seance, 
 but by still more shameless rascals, who gave 
 degrading mesmeric and magical exhibitions, 
 describing them as my thought-reading. 
 
 Needless to say, I suffered seriously, both in I suffer 
 pocket and in reputation, by these frauds so 
 much so, in fact, that in some places where tion 
 these vagabonds had been plying their trade, I 
 found the public most incredulous as to my 
 bona-fides. In Magdeburg, for instance, where 
 two rascals in succession had imposed upon the 
 people's confidence each one being " der ric/t- 
 tige Herr Cumberland" I was welcomed on 
 my opening night by an audience composed of 
 check-takers, for no one in the town believed I 
 was myself, and the check-takers even only 
 believed in me to the extent of the money paid 
 for their services ; and the dominant idea in 
 these individuals' minds as they sat in the 
 audience's seats waiting for checks which never 
 came, was that a man was a fool for being him- 
 self when he could probably do so very much 
 better by being somebody else. 
 
 This sort of thing is enough to make a man 
 forget his early Christian training ; but, instead 
 of belabouring the good people of Magdeburg 
 for their want of faith, I set at work to win them
 
 94 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 to a belief in me, and my wooing was, in the 
 end, completely successful. 
 
 But some towns which had been taken in, on 
 the principle once bitten twice shy, remained 
 obdurate, do what I would to remove the ill 
 impression left by these peripatetic swindlers, 
 and I frequently was saddled with heavy losses 
 interfere"* on t * 11 ' s account. The action of the police in 
 endeavouring to put an end to the impositions 
 practised in my name was, I need hardly say, 
 particularly welcome. 
 
 But even their paternal interference had its 
 inconveniences, it not unfrequently happening 
 that I had to first prove my own identity before 
 being allowed to give my representations. 
 
 At a town in Silesia, an affair of this kind 
 occurred which for the moment was exceedingly 
 embarrasing. 
 
 After a long night's journey, I arrived in the 
 town (where I had arranged to give a stance the 
 same evening), and, feeling tired and sleepy, had 
 retired to my room, leaving strict instructions 
 with my valet that I was not to be disturbed on 
 A visit any account. But I had scarcely laid myself 
 police - C down, when I heard voices outside, in which I 
 could make out that some one was having an 
 altercation with my servant. Presently he 
 knocked, and asked if he might come in. My 
 answer was an angry growl, which, however, he 
 interpreted as meaning yes ; and in he came. 
 
 " Well, what is it ? Is the hotel on fire, or 
 what ? "
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 95 
 
 " No, sir ; but the police want you." 
 "Want me? Tell the police to go to Jericho." 
 " I have, sir ; but they won't go ; and there 
 is *an officer outside who insists upon seeing 
 you." 
 
 "Tell him that I am tired out, and must 
 rest myself for my seance to-night. Tell him to 
 call again, do anything, in fact, but leave me in 
 peace." 
 
 " Yes, sir ; " and my servant retired to have it 
 out with my visitor, whilst I turned over 
 preparatory to going to sleep. But the voices 
 outside sounded louder than ever, and presently a 
 sharp angry knock came upon the door. 
 
 This was too much for me: and, jumping 
 
 , followed. 
 
 hastily from the bed, I went to the door, and 
 demanded of the intruder a police officer, armed ' 
 with certain official-looking documents what he 
 wanted. 
 
 "I want to see Herr Cumberland," he 
 replied. 
 
 " Well, you see him before you." I answered, 
 " very tired, very sleepy and exceedingly " (I 
 won't swear that the word was exceedingly) 
 " annoyed at being disturbed in this manner." 
 
 " Oh ! you are the Herr Cumberland," he said, 
 with a stress upon the the, eyeing me suspiciously 
 the while. 
 
 " Certainly, what do you want of me ? " 
 
 " Firstly, I want your signature to this," and 
 he held out one of the official-looking docu- 
 ments aforesaid.
 
 96 A Thought- Reader' s Thoughts. 
 
 " Oh ! pray excuse me now," I said, thinking 
 he had come for an early autograph. " Come 
 again, and I will give you my autograph with 
 pleasure," and I moved to close the door. 
 
 "No, that will not do," he said, putting 
 forward his foot, and preventing the closing of 
 the door ; " you must sign this now, and at 
 the same time produce your papers." 
 
 " What do you mean ? I do not understand 
 you/' 
 
 Under " I mean this : my orders are that you, who 
 
 claim to be the Herr Cumberland, the Gedanken- 
 leser, must prove that you are what you represent 
 yourself to be. If you do not produce your 
 papers, I must request you to accompany me to 
 the Bureau of the Polizei" 
 
 I questioned him as to the reason of this 
 action on the part of the police, but he 
 declined to give any explanation, impatiently 
 demanding the production of my papers 
 without delay. 
 
 Luckily I had my passport with me, and this 
 I handed him ; but the passport being in 
 English, he professed his inability to -read it, 
 stating that he would have to take it to the 
 Polizei President. With this object in view, he 
 left me, adding, as he went, that I was to 
 consider myself under arrest the while. 
 
 To be arrested for being oneself was truly a 
 novel situation, and one under other circum- 
 stances I should doubtless have been much 
 amused over ; but being tired and irritated, I
 
 A Thought- Reader 9 s Thoughts. 97 
 
 failed to appreciate the fun of the thing. I know 
 that I found it impossible to sleep whilst the officer 
 was absent, and that in every creak of the 
 stairs I recognized his returning footsteps ; whilst 
 the half-hour he was away seemed to be 
 hours. 
 
 When the officer returned, there was a 
 marked change in his manner. The look of 
 suspicion had disappeared, one of kindly 
 interest taking its place ; he was no longer stiff, 
 but serenely agreeable ; and his previous 
 curtness disappeared in a flow of politeness. 
 
 My papers, he said, had been found to be all All right 
 right, and he was requested by the Polizei Presi- at 
 dent to express his regret at the inconvenience 
 I had been caused. But, he went on to say, in 
 consequence of the impudent swindling that had 
 been practised in my name, it behoved the 
 police to take every precaution against a 
 repetition of it, both my interests and those 
 of the public demanding such action. 
 
 I assured him that I was deeply conscious of 
 the Polizer's good intentions, and that if in every 
 town the police were equally as zealous about the 
 matter, the impostors and personators would 
 soon find their occupation gone. 
 
 The majority of my impersonators were of My por- 
 the Hebraic persuasion, and the popular idea trait - 
 conceived of me in the victimized towns was an 
 illiterate man with a prominent nose and well- 
 developed lips. 
 
 I remember on one occasion, at an hotel where 
 
 II
 
 98 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 I was staying, having a conversation with a man, 
 a stranger to me, in the course of which the 
 subject of thought-reading was touched upon. 
 
 "What a pity it is," said the man, evidently 
 an anti-Semite, " that Herr Cumberland is a Jew ! 
 I suppose it's true that he can't read or write ? " 
 " Well, not exactly," I replied, with difficulty- 
 avoiding laughing outright ; " and I can assure 
 you that he is not a Jew, although, for the 
 matter of that, I don't think he would mind it 
 very much if he were one." 
 
 "You know him personally, then ?" 
 "Oh, yes, as well as any ne can know 
 himself." 
 
 " What, you the Herr Cumberland you ? " 
 "Yes," I replied, "I am that unfortunate in- 
 dividual;" and, getting up, I left him with a 
 look of surprise upon his face, such as I had 
 never seen on man's face before. 
 
 Doing a Talking of impersonation, an exceedingly 
 annoying thing occurred in Spain a few months 
 back, in which some unscrupulous individual 
 bled an unsuspecting old gentleman to the tune 
 of a hundred pesetas^ by passing himself off as 
 myself. 
 
 It appears that he met the unsuspecting old 
 gentleman aforesaid in a cafe, and after some 
 palaver he proceeded to unburden his troubles to 
 him. He had been playing cards, and had lost all 
 the money he had in his pockets. Could the 
 Sefior lend him 500 pesetas ? No. Would he 
 lend him 100 ?
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 99 
 
 The old man happened to have 100 pesetas in 
 his pocket, and these were duly handed over to 
 the swindler, who took an early opportunity of 
 wishing his newly-made friend good-night, beg- 
 ging him to call round in the morning at the 
 hotel where I was staying for his money. 
 
 In the morning the old man came round, and 
 sent up his name. 
 
 Before asking him up, I sent down to know 
 the nature of his visit, his name not being familiar 
 to me. 
 
 His answer was that he hoped I had not 
 forgotten the little matter of the night before. 
 
 Being quite in the dark as to what he meant, 
 I thought I had better have him up in order to 
 explain matters. 
 
 He came, a little shrivelled-up old man, fussy 
 of manner, and with any amount to say for 
 himself. 
 
 After profuse apologies for disturbing me, he 
 begged to know if he could see Seilor Cumber- 
 land. 
 
 " I am he," I said. " What can I do for you ? " 
 
 "You Senor Cumberland?" he shrieked. The don's 
 
 -NT i o ,_ o ~ /- L i j j disappoint- 
 
 No ! Say you are not Senor Cumberland, and ment; 
 
 he viewed me with profound anxiety. 
 
 I assured him that I was, and expressed my 
 regret that I made such an unfavourable im- 
 pression upon him. 
 
 He then out with his tale, and, amidst sundry 
 lamentations, confessed how ill he could afford 
 to lose the money. 
 
 H 2
 
 ioo A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 I, of course, felt extremely sorry for him, and 
 expressed a hope that he would be able to find 
 and punish the man who had thus cheated 
 him. 
 
 I wished him good-day ; but he stayed on, 
 under the impression, I believe, that I should 
 pay him the ioo pesetas out of my own pocket. 
 But when he found that his expectations were 
 not likely to be realized, and that he himself 
 would have to be the loser, his rage knew no 
 
 and his bounds. 
 
 vexation of T T . , T . , , 
 
 spirit. "is language, I am grieved to say, was not 
 
 choice, and he made no attempt at selecting his 
 adjectives, but poured them forth in a perfect 
 flood. All thought-readers were anathematized, 
 all swindlers, everybody even himself, for being 
 such a flat as to be taken in ; and so vehemently 
 did he " cuss," that I was afraid he would have 
 a fit and expire on the spot, for he was very 
 aged, and such excitement could not have been 
 good for him. 
 
 He managed, however, to keep himself to- 
 gether ; and, with a final malediction, he took 
 his departure. 
 
 This was a very vulgar and cruel form of 
 swindling, but sometimes my impersonators have 
 displayed remarkable ingenuity in carrying 
 out their raids upon the pockets of the 
 credulous. 
 
 I read in a paper some time ago an account 
 (I suppose it was true) of how a couple of 
 swindlers, one acting as a thought-reader and
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 101 
 
 the other as a subject, succeeded in carrying off 
 from a gentleman's house a piece of plate of 
 considerable value, by pretending that the piece 
 of plate in question was the object selected for 
 an experiment, and that the master of the house 
 was one of the committee at the hotel down in 
 the town who were awaiting the success of the 
 test. The servant, who had heard of my having 
 performed a somewhat similar experiment a 
 little while before, let the thieves take what they 
 wanted, never for a moment dreaming that the 
 thing was a carefully-planned swindle. 
 
 When the master came home and heard what 
 had happened, you can form some idea as to 
 how he felt by putting yourself for a moment in 
 his place. 
 
 Apropos of the German police, one hears a 
 good deal from English tourists of the bearish- 
 ness, not only of the police, but of German German 
 officials generally ; but for my part and one 
 should speak as one finds people I received, 
 all the time I was in Germany, the utmost 
 courtesy from all officials with whom I was 
 brought in contact. 
 
 The German official is not a person to be 
 understood by the casual observer, who mistakes 
 his high sense of duty for self-importance, and 
 feels annoyed at what he considers his contrari- 
 ness in being superior to either flattery or abuse. 
 He, it is true, may be narrow and irritatingly 
 precise, but he knows his work above all things, 
 and is ever ready to give you information to the
 
 102 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 extent of his instructions ; but beyond this he 
 will not go. 
 
 In Germany, as everywhere else, there is, of 
 course, no end of red tape in connection with 
 official life ; only in Germany it is more difficult 
 to overcome official scruples than in any other 
 country. 
 
 Red tape. J n Konigsberg, for instance, I found myself, 
 when I arrived in that city to give some seances, 
 at once tied hand and foot with red tape, from 
 which I had the greatest difficulty in delivering 
 myself. 
 
 It appears there is a law in that city which 
 compels every entertainer to take out, in addition 
 to the ordinary permit, a special licence before 
 the performance can be given ; and the autho- 
 rities, who had never seen any thought-reading, 
 got it into their heads that what I did was 
 merely conjuring ; and they requested me to 
 take out a Taschenspieler* s licence accordingly. 
 To this I very naturally objected, explaining 
 that it was both absurd and unjust to expect 
 me to call myself what I was not. 
 
 "Very well," said officialism, "if you refuse to 
 take out a licence, then the performances cannot 
 take place." 
 
 " But they must," I urged ; " the public have 
 already bought several thousand marks' worth 
 of tickets ; and it would be simply monstrous 
 to close the doors in their face in this way. Do 
 you not understand that people have not paid 
 their money to see conjuring, but to see thought-
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 103 
 
 reading ; and it is thought-reading and not 
 sleight-of-hand tricks (of which I know absolutely 
 nothing) that I have come to give." 
 
 But the police were obdurate. They could Th f 
 not see any difference between thought-reading opinion of 
 
 and conjuring. They had made up their minds to ght- 
 that the two things were the same, and there 
 was an end of it. With respect to the public, 
 that had nothing whatever to do with it ; it was 
 not what the public thought, but what they 
 thought. 
 
 With regard to the financial aspects of the 
 case, that was a matter which concerned me 
 alone. All I had to do in order to give the 
 representations, was to take out the required 
 licence and pay the fees ; failing this, the doors 
 of the hall would be closed. 
 
 The police were obdurate on this point, and 
 in vain I pointed out that this was the first time 
 in Germany such a demand had been made 
 upon me. Officialism's reply was : " What they 
 do elsewhere has nothing to do with us ; this is 
 the law here ; and you will either have to take 
 out the licence or give up the representations. 
 The choice is with you." 
 
 To take out the licence and let it go forth to 
 the world that I was a conjurer, and that my 
 experiments were simply the result of sleight-of- 
 hand, was, of course, entirely out of the question ; 
 whereas, on the other hand, it was exceedingly 
 hard that I should have to lose several hundred 
 pounds by closing the doors.
 
 iO4 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 As a last resort I telegraphed to the minister 
 at Berlin, in whose department the matter came, 
 requesting his interference ; and, pending his 
 reply, I gave notice to the police that I declined 
 to take out the licence, and that I should hold 
 them responsible for any loss that might result 
 from their action in the matter. The minister 
 happened to be well acquainted with my work, 
 and, with considerable promptness, he communi- 
 cated with the Konigsberg police, who, in due 
 course, informed me that the performances would 
 be permitted, but that two officers would be 
 deputed to attend in order to judge of the style 
 and character of the experiments exhibited. 
 Satisfied They came, saw, and were conquered ; and I 
 at ast. j e j- t Konigsberg proud in the knowledge that in 
 the eyes of its police I was not a TascJienspieler 
 but a genuine Gedankenleser. 
 
 In most if not all towns in Germany, public 
 entertainers have to take out licences of one kind 
 and another, and the performances are in some 
 cases subject to certain local charges in addition. 
 These charges vary considerably, scarcely two 
 towns being alike in the matter. But no re- 
 putable entertainment is ever refused a licence ; 
 and the Stenern are by no means a serious 
 affair. 
 
 In Austria more difficulties are placed in the 
 way of entertainers than in Germany, whilst the 
 official charges there are considerably higher ; 
 but in Hungary they are higher still. In Hun- 
 gary the taxes and percentages eat so deeply
 
 A Thought '- Reader 's Thoughts. 105 
 
 into the receipts, that frequently the unfortunate 
 entertainer has nothing left for himself. In 
 addition to this, permission to a stranger to give 
 an entertainment is, in some cases, not readily 
 accorded, the authorities having a decided ob- 
 jection to an outsider taking money out of the 
 town. 
 
 In Pressburg, for instance, a seance which I 
 had arranged to give was forbidden by the local 
 authorities under some ancient law ; and my 
 agents having failed to induce the authorities to 
 alter their decision, I telegraphed personally to 
 Herr Tisza, the Hungarian Premier, to grant The kind - 
 me the required permission direct. This, to the HerrTisza. 
 profound astonishment of Pressburg officialism, 
 he did ; and I was enabled to give a highly suc- 
 cessful seance in Hungary's ancient capital, which 
 is one of the most tumble-down, eastern-looking 
 towns in Europe, with the raggedest and wildest 
 lot of horses I ever sat behind. 
 
 In Vienna a small percentage of the gross 
 receipts is deducted for the poor, and by the 
 amount the officials receive, one's total receipts 
 can be readily ascertained. There is no privacy 
 about the matter, and it is open to any one to 
 find out what a performance has netted. 
 
 In this way it soon got about what I had 
 taken in Vienna ; and the papers, by illustration 
 and otherwise, soon made the thing more 
 publicly known. 
 
 One cartoon in particular was exceedingly 
 amusing ; in it I was depicted leading Vienna
 
 io6 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 Theresults (an uninteresting old lady with a tower, like a 
 
 Vienna notched chimney-pot, on her head) by the nose, 
 
 stances. m y back bowed down with the weight of a bag, 
 
 upon which was marked the amount of my 
 
 takings 25,000 gulden. 
 
 The artist's intention, however, was not, I 
 fear, to be funny, but to be spiteful ; and he, 
 with characteristic unfairness, omitted to make 
 any mention of the large amount I left behind 
 for various local charities. 
 
 On the whole the Vienna press was exceed- 
 ingly fair and courteous, with the exception of 
 one paper, which seemed to be in a towering 
 rage every time it mentioned my name. Its 
 editor's name, it appeared, had inadvertently 
 been omitted from the list of invitations to a 
 reception I had given, and he showed his dis- 
 appointment by daily tearing me to pieces in 
 his paper. Life is too short to allow of one's 
 taking exception to all the unkind and unfair 
 things that newspapers may say about you ; 
 besides, it is never wise to contradict a news- 
 paper. For, no matter how wrong it may be, 
 it does not like to be publicly called to task ; 
 and although it will in all probability be fair 
 enough to print your correction, it is always 
 open to it to have the last word ; and in that 
 last word is often contained a sting more 
 lasting than the one produced by the original 
 offence. 
 
 The public hold the most extraordinary 
 notions with respect to newspapers. They seem
 
 A 2 hought- Reader's Thoughts. 107 
 
 to think, in a vague sort of way, that news- The press 
 papers print and publish themselves, and that!^ b i! c e 
 much of what appears therein is the inspiration of 
 an Oracle rather than the work of a human being. 
 Newspaper men, being after all but human, 
 have their weaknesses and their failings, and, 
 like other folk, frequently do things they ought 
 not to have done, and leave undone things they 
 ought to have done ; but, on the whole, they are 
 far more charitable with their pens than the 
 people who do not write are with their 
 tongues. 
 
 I have had an extensive experience of news- 
 paper editors and newspaper writers, and I can 
 unhesitatingly say that they are more ready to 
 extend a helping hand to a public man than 
 any other class of people ; and the support of the 
 press is of greater value to one than the friend- 
 ship of all the monarchs in the world. It is 
 practically impossible for a man to keep touch 
 with the public without the aid of the news- 
 papers, and in these days when events crowd so 
 closely upon each other, the greatest amongst us 
 would run the risk of being forgotten if the 
 newspapers ceased to mention him. 
 
 I have been criticized in almost if not all My in- 
 printed languages and my work is of the kind ^ 
 that lays itself open to criticism yet on the press, 
 whole I have, I think, been fairly dealt with ; 
 and I frankly admit that not a little of whatever 
 fame I may possess is owing to the attention 
 paid me by the press.
 
 io8 A T hoiight- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 At the present moment there is a loud 
 outcry against what is called " Government by 
 newspapers ;" but all right-minded men would, I 
 think, be extremely sorry to see the liberty of 
 the press in any way curtailed, for no one can 
 deny that, taken as a whole, the power of the 
 press is a power for good ; and that many 
 useful reforms would never be brought about 
 nor many evils remedied, if the press did not 
 have a comparatively free hand. 
 
 Taxes In every country in Europe, except England, 
 
 on per- performances are subject to some sort of govern- 
 ment or municipal tax ; and the money thus 
 collected forms an important item in the 
 revenue. In some cases the taxes are imposed 
 not upon what is taken, but are levied before the 
 performance is given, a percentage frequently 
 being deducted from the receipts in addition. 
 Taxation in this direction is heaviest in 
 Hungary and Russia ; but in Russia there is 
 an excellent rule which provides for the return 
 of some of the official charges when the 
 exhibitor has exhibited at a loss. In order, 
 however, to effect this he has to file a statement 
 of account showing his loss, and in the fulness 
 of time the money he has paid in respect of 
 these charges is, or rather may be, returned him. 
 The story I say in the fulness of time, because some one 
 I know gave a performance in Russia ; it was 
 not a financial success ; and in due course 
 he applied for the return of fifty roubles under 
 the rule to which I have referred.
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 109 
 
 Officialism assured him that it would be all 
 right ; but that it was, as a guarantee of the correct- 
 ness of his statement, necessary for him to first 
 deposit fifty roubles, which, when inquiries had 
 been made, would, together, with the fifty 
 roubles which he claimed, be returned him. In 
 his innocence he deposited the money ; but of 
 that or the other fifty roubles he never received 
 a single copeck. 
 
 This was years ago ; but the man, who is of an 
 optimistic nature, is still hopeful, knowing that 
 such things in Russia take time. When I last 
 saw him he talked of willing the amount in 
 question to his youngest boy, who, he thinks, by 
 the time he comes of age, may have a chance of 
 getting it that is if the authorities have not 
 forgotten the circumstance by that time. 
 
 On one occasion the police tried something of 
 the kind with me ; but it savoured too much of 
 the confidence trick to please me ; and, needless 
 to say, I declined with thanks. 
 
 Of all the taxes connected with entertainments The'Dutch 
 
 '-*. chair-tax. 
 
 on the continent, none is so unjust as the one 
 
 levied in Holland upon the seats. There it is 
 not merely the seats occupied that are taxed, 
 but each seat in the hall, whether occupied or 
 not ; and as the seats for the greater part are 
 fixtures, there is little or no possibility of lessen- 
 ing the taxation by removing the unused ones. 
 
 Once the charge under this head amounted, 
 in an immense hall I had taken, to considerably 
 morethan the gross takings; so, instead of paying
 
 no A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 it, I elected to give up the seance, that being the 
 cheaper course. 
 
 In addition to the chair tax, other official 
 charges are levied in Holland upon performances, 
 so that taken altogether the country is anything 
 but a showman's paradise. 
 
 Besides, for anything strictly intellectual in 
 the way of entertainments, Holland is not an 
 El Dorado. I never came across people so 
 difficult to move as the Dutch, who are slow, 
 cold arid stolidly unsympathetic. 
 
 A Dutchman, I suppose, has esprit, so possibly 
 
 has a rhinoceros ; only with either you would, I 
 
 presume, have to dig pretty deep to find it. 
 
 The Dutch The popular idea with respect to the Dutch is 
 
 logically ^ at t ^ ie y are a b ve all a thoughtful people ; this, 
 
 considered. I think, is an error, their usual attitude of 
 
 contemplation being physical rather than 
 
 mental. It is the heaviness of the body rather 
 
 than the activity of the mind which causes their 
 
 moments of seeming meditation ; and when you 
 
 catch a Dutchman in such a moment, it would 
 
 be more correct to ask him what he was feeling 
 
 than what he was thinking about. 
 
 Although by no means enthusiastic or 
 demonstrative, a Dutch audience is singularly 
 attentive, and on the whole appreciative ; but 
 they want a lot for their money ; quantity, not 
 quality, being a Dutchman's motto. The Dutch 
 are, however, wonderful linguists ; and an 
 Englishman, a Frenchman or a German can 
 address an audience in Holland in his mother
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 1 1 1 
 
 tongue with every prospect of being generally The Dutch 
 understood. I know of no other country of as 
 which a similar thing could be said. 
 
 In Rotterdam English is the second language ; 
 in the Hague the slowest capital in Europe 
 French ; and in Amsterdam, German. 
 
 The Dutch are kind-hearted without being 
 exactly generous ; honest, although keen enough 
 at driving a bargain ; and possessed of a certain 
 sturdy manliness that no one can fail to admire ; 
 but, all the same, they are a singularly uninterest- 
 ing people ; and I really cannot remember any- 
 thing of interest occurring all the time I was in 
 Holland. 
 
 With respect to the tax upon amusements. More 
 
 r r about the 
 
 although the idea collides with English notions taxing of 
 
 of Free Trade, and in spite of the fact that if I P erform - 
 ' ances. 
 
 had to-day what has been filched from me in the 
 various countries I have visited under this head, 
 I should be a moderately well-off man, I must 
 confess that 'the system (minus its oppressive 
 plans) is not quite so objectionable as at first sight 
 appears. It certainly in some instances, as I have 
 already pointed out, presses somewhat heavily 
 upon the poorer class of show folk ; but it, at the 
 same time, prevents the country from being over- 
 run with inferior entertainments; whilst, under the 
 system, anything of an objectionable character 
 stands but a poor chance of being permitted. 
 The system, would not, I suppose, work well in 
 this country, where we enjoy absolute freedom 
 in the matter of entertainments, with the result
 
 ii2 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 being that every town is so glutted with shows of 
 one sort or another that very few things in these 
 exceptionally hard times are able to make two 
 ends meet. On the continent] things are not 
 nearly so overdone ; and every good entertain- 
 ment, in consequence, has a very much better 
 opportunity of doing well. 
 
 Whilst, however, it is very nice for a foreigner 
 to be able to take his show from Land's End to 
 John O'Groats without being taxed a single 
 penny, it strikes an Englishman as being some- 
 what unfair that any performance he may take 
 on the continent will be taxed in every town in 
 which he exhibits. 
 
 A Frenchman steps across the channel, and 
 gives an exhibition at Dover, and all that he 
 takes is his ; but an Englishman who tries his 
 luck at Calais has first to pay eleven per cent, of 
 his gross takings to the poor, before he can 
 touch a single franc. In England a Frenchman 
 can smother the hoardings with his bills by 
 simply paying the bill-poster; but an English- 
 man in France has not only to pay the bill- 
 poster, but he has in addition to pay the 
 Government ten centimes for each bill that he 
 has put up. 
 
 The stamp For my part, however, I have never objected 
 printing, to this tax upon' posted matter, which, on the 
 whole, is to the advertiser's advantage ; 
 for abroad no one advertises unless he has 
 something likely to be of public interest to offer ; 
 and the consequence is everything that is posted
 
 A Thought -Readers Thoughts. 113 
 
 is eagerly scanned by the public, who look out 
 for novelties on the walls much in the same way 
 as we seek for them in the advertisement 
 columns of the daily papers. Under the system 
 prevailing in France and other countries the 
 advertiser is certain that what he has had posted 
 will at least be read. But here it is different, 
 the hoardings are covered with bills of all sizes 
 (on the continent the size of the bill is limited) 
 and shapes, and in the general confusion of 
 colour and type the majority of them get passed 
 over, the small advertisers having no chance 
 against the great advertisers, whose mammoth 
 posters completely swamp the former's unpre- 
 tentious sheets. If posted printing were taxed 
 here as across the Channel, it would not only do 
 away with much of the rubbish that now finds 
 its way on to the walls, but it would enable the 
 little man to have a fair show for his money, for 
 there would have to be a sliding-scale of taxa- 
 tion, the charge being so much per sheet ; so 
 that if the big man wished to advertise largely, 
 he would have to pay accordingly. Under the 
 continental system, every station would be pro- 
 tected from the raids of the buccaneers of the 
 paste-pot, who in country towns, where the 
 hoardings are not protected, cover up an 
 advertiser's printing, posted by a rival bill- 
 sticker, without the slightest compunction, for 
 which act there is but a poor chance of obtain- 
 ing any redress. 
 
 In these hard times, when each succeeding 
 
 I
 
 H4 ^ Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 wind 
 
 How to Chancellor of the Exchequer is at . his wits' end 
 to know how to raise the wind, this system of 
 taxation appears to me to be worthy of serious 
 consideration. 
 
 It would not of course be a popular tax, but it 
 could not possibly excite any great amount of 
 unpopularity, nothing to be compared with the 
 unpopularity of the wheel tax, for instance ; 
 whilst it would without doubt produce quite a 
 golden harvest. Theatrical printing alone would 
 produce a very large amount ; and just imagine 
 the sums that the advertisers of soap, mustard, 
 blacking, blue, cocoa and other articles of 
 domestic use would have to pay. 
 
 These advertisers are not philanthropists; 
 they advertise their soap, and their mustard and 
 their blacking because they want to sell it, and 
 to make money out of it ; no one asks them to 
 advertise their wares ; and as they undoubtedly 
 make a good thing of it, I see no reason why 
 they should not be taxed for the good of the 
 community. The same with all advertisers, 
 be they showmen, family- pill makers or what 
 not. 
 A hint Perhaps Mr. Goschen, when he has his hands 
 
 GoKhen. less ful1 than 
 studying.
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 115 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 OF the many countries I have visited, Spain, 
 from a thought-reader's point of view, is perhaps 
 the most perplexing, and at the same time one 
 of the most interesting. 
 
 I went to Spain last year for the purpose of 
 studying the social and political aspects of that 
 country, and whilst there I had exceptional 
 opportunities afforded me of so doing. It was 
 not in my mind when I arrived to give any 
 thought-reading representations ; I soon, how- 
 ever, found it impossible to resist the many 
 calls made upon me. In thus experimenting I 
 had additional advantages of studying Spanish 
 character. 
 
 Spain is the Land of Manana the land of The Land 
 to-morrow ; for what Spaniard will by any 
 chance think of doing to-day what he can pos- 
 sibly put off till to-morrow ? 3 Tis so in business, 
 in politics, in war in everything except love. 
 And to get a Spaniard to concentrate his whole 
 thoughts upon anything present save it be a 
 woman is practically an impossibility. 
 
 Pity then the poor thought-reader who relies 
 forTiis success upon the absolute concentration 
 I 2
 
 n6 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 of thought of the person with whom he is 
 experimenting. 
 TheOrien- In Madrid, where society is more cosmo- 
 f ' or > to P ut it correctly, more European 
 
 Spaniard, the oriental reverence for Manana is not quite 
 so characteristic and the Eastern antipathy to be 
 moved not so strongly ingrained. But in pro- 
 vincial Spain, particularly in the South, the 
 people cannot psychologically be measured, 
 weighed or judged by any European stan- 
 dard. 
 
 In getting at the thoughts of the voluptuous 
 Andalusian I have frequently experienced dif- 
 ficulty as great as with the stiff-necked Moor, 
 the cannibalistic Maori, the scalp-seeking Red 
 Indian, the Heathen Chinee, or the emotion- 
 less Tartar. 
 
 The southern Spaniard is dreamful but not 
 thoughtful. His thoughts shape themselves 
 into dreams, and in the fancies of the to-morrow 
 the necessities of the present are invariably for- 
 gotten. 
 
 What cares he for the matter of fact probabi- 
 
 lities of Hoy with the fanciful impossibilities of 
 
 Manana looming in the distance ? 
 
 They are all alike, rich and poor. 
 
 The muleteer, as he falls asleep under the 
 
 shadow of a projecting wall, thinks not of the 
 
 day's work undone or of his tired beasts stand- 
 
 ing thirsty and unfed in full glare of the mid- 
 
 day sun, but dreams of what the morrow will 
 
 bring forth, that morrow so full of blissful pos-
 
 A T hought- Reader s Thoughts. 1 1 7 
 
 sibilities. For who can say what the morrow 
 may not bring forth ? 
 
 To-morrow he may win the first prize in the 
 lottery ; to morrow untold riches may be his, 
 or the Holy Virgin smile upon him in some 
 unaccountable way. What need therefore to 
 trouble about the cold realities of Hoy when, 
 with so many strings to his bow, Manana is 
 bound to bring him something so very much 
 better. 
 
 The ruined noble in his castle dreams in much 
 the same way. With him the decay of the 
 present will be amply atoned for in the revival 
 of the to-come. 
 
 And so he dreams on, drawing cheques upon 
 the future, which the future invariably omits to 
 honour. 
 
 But this fetish-worship of Manana is not 
 peculiar to the southerners alone ; for not even 
 the shrewd, calculating Catalan, the sly, deceit- 
 ful Valencian, or the sturdy, thrifty Gallician is 
 without his superstitions about the to-morrow. 
 For although in most things no two Spaniards 
 hailing from different parts of the Peninsula are 
 alike, they in their fanciful expectations of the 
 future will be found to be much of the same 
 mind. 
 
 The Northern Spaniards are more active and 
 business-like than the Southerners, and they 
 are certainly their intellectual superiors ; but 
 they, in common with the most indolent dweller 
 in Andalusia, have all the Eastern's abhorrence
 
 1 1 8 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 of being hurried and all his love of procrasti- 
 nation. 
 Spain a In other matters Spain is a land of striking 
 
 land of contrasts ; the language, customs, habits, and 
 contrasts. . ' t> fc 
 
 indeed character of the people varying according 
 to the locality. The inhabitants of one province 
 have little in common with those of another, and 
 the railway and telegraph which have served to 
 bring them in daily touch with each other have 
 in reality done but little towards overcoming 
 local prejudices. 
 
 To begin with, Madrid, the capital, is wholly 
 unlike any other city in Spain. It is a curious 
 mixture, being neither Spanish nor continental, 
 whilst the people for the most part are the sons 
 and daughters of the South, with a coating of 
 European veneer. 
 
 In Yankee parlance Madrid is a " live " city ; 
 but it is not a healthy liveliness. Of commercial 
 activity there is scarcely any sign, and for its 
 size there is not, I think, a more unenterprising 
 city in all Europe. The outward sign of life is 
 but the consumptive's hectic flush, for in reality 
 Madrid is in anything but robust health ; and it 
 is difficult to understand how it keeps itself 
 together. 
 
 Madrid is a city of idlers, even more so than 
 either Paris or Vienna. In the French and 
 Austrian capitals people idle because it is fashion- 
 able, but in Madrid they appear to do it mainly 
 because they have nothing else to do. 
 
 The dominant idea amongst the idle class in
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 1 1 9 
 
 Madrid is to keep a carriage, the keeping ofAdomi- 
 which is a considerable step in the direction of nant idea- 
 being recognized as possessing that sangre az2il 
 which no true hidalgo is supposed to be without. 
 People with carriages may have blue blood in 
 their veins, but people without them can hardly 
 be expected to possess any such distinction. It 
 therefore happens that a man will systematically 
 starve his body and leave his washing-bill unpaid, 
 in order to flaunt it in the carriage-ways of the 
 lengthy Castellana. 
 
 It costs a Spaniard but little to keep body and 
 soul together, as his household is, as a rule, 
 economically administered. For the Spaniards 
 are not much given to entertaining ; not that 
 they are naturally inhospitable, but that it is not 
 the custom to entertain. Even in Macrid enter- 
 taining, as we understand it, is, with a very few 
 exceptions, confined to the corps diplomatique. 
 
 The only grandee of note who is imbued with 
 what I may term European ideas of hospitality A descen- 
 is the Duke de Alba and Berwick. But then the Stuarts. 
 Duke has English blood in his veins, being a des- 
 cendant of a natural son of James II. He closely 
 resembles his ancestors the Stuarts, and takes a 
 pride in being thought more English than Spanish. 
 
 The Alba Palace is one of the most magnifi- 
 cent in Madrid second only to the Palacio Real 
 and it contains many priceless treasures, whilst 
 the walls are hung with tapestries depicting the 
 conquest of the Netherlands by the Duke's great 
 ancestor.
 
 i2o A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 Neither the Duke nor the Duchess who, by 
 the bye, is one of the most charming as well as 
 one of the most intellectual women in Spain 
 takes an active interest in politics ; but they are 
 liberal supporters of art, music and the drama ; 
 and all that is brilliant and distinguished centres 
 at their palace, which is a veritable oasis in a 
 desert of inhospitality. 
 
 The first impression that a well-accredited 
 person receives on arriving in Madrid is that he 
 is in for a " real good time," for he is literally 
 overwhelmed with professions of hospitality at 
 every house where he presents his letters of 
 introduction. 
 
 Not only does every one offer to place his 
 house at your disposal, but his ox and his ass, and 
 everything that is his is yours at least he says 
 so. 
 
 A " What charming folk," you say to yourself as 
 
 Spaniard's y OU d r j ve back to your fonda, buoyed up with 
 taiity. the notion that your stay will be one gay round 
 of pleasure. But, alas ! all is not gold that 
 glitters, and you speedily find that a Spaniard's 
 hospitality does not go beyond finely turned 
 phrases. It is disappointing, after spending 
 hours in making calls, not to receive a bond-fide 
 invitation, and one eventually arrives at the con- 
 clusion that it is more satisfactory to keep letters 
 of introduction in one's trunk, than to waste 
 time and expend money in carriage hire in 
 delivering them. For the chances are that when 
 you call, the persons to whom you are com-
 
 A Thought -Readers Thoughts. 121 
 
 mended are out, and if you do not happen to be 
 in when they return your call, it is possible that 
 you will never meet ; for in leaving cards the 
 Spaniard thinks that he has done all that can be 
 reasonably expected of him. If, however, you 
 should chance to meet him, he will certainly not 
 fail to impress upon you that everything he has 
 is yours, begging of you to put his friendship to 
 the test. 
 
 No Spaniard expects you in such matters to 
 take him an grand serieux, and the man who 
 does so will find himself grievously disappointed. 
 
 On one occasion a man whom I knew very 
 well, wrote to me from a provincial town saying, 
 " when you come here remember that my poor 
 house is at your disposal." 
 
 I wrote, thanking him for his proffered hos- 
 pitality, which I gladly accepted. 
 
 In due course I arrived at the town, and at 
 once drove to my friend's house. 
 
 I noticed that the servants looked at me 
 wonderingly as the luggage was removed from 
 the carriage, and I somehow got the idea that I 
 was not expected. 
 
 But on being ushered into my friend's presence, I fin d 
 I was received most cordially, and in the course trap. 
 of conversation he assured me over and over again 
 that everything he had was at my disposal. 
 But all the same I felt he was anxious to get rid 
 of me, and the idea flashed across my mind as 
 to whether he really intended me to take his 
 offer literally.
 
 122 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 My doubts were soon set at rest by one of 
 the servants bringing him a message about my 
 luggage. 
 
 " My servant tells me that you have brought 
 your things here. How very sensible of you, 
 for it isn't really wise to leave anything at the 
 station, and I suppose you didn't know which 
 hotel to go to. The Fonda is the best, and I 
 will tell Francisco to put your things in my 
 carriage and drive you there." 
 
 " But " 
 
 I was proceeding to inform him that in virtue 
 of his invitation, I had anticipated resting where 
 I was, but I checked myself, and contented 
 myself with thinking unutterable things. 
 
 Amidst a profusion of compliments, I was 
 bowed out, and hailing a fly I drove to the hotel 
 named. 
 
 And so we parted, and, although I stayed in 
 the town some days, I never saw him again. I 
 need hardly say I never repeated the mistake, 
 although similar invitations were showered upon 
 me. I speedily learnt to understand that a 
 Spaniard's hospitable expressions are mere airy 
 nothings, given forth as such and to be accepted 
 as such. 
 
 " Some A Spaniard will frequently ask you to dine 
 day> " with him " some day." It is the correct thing 
 to accept, but it would be foolish to imagine that 
 the dinner is anything but en Pair. 
 
 " Come and dine with me to-night," says the 
 Spaniard to whom the stranger presents a letter
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 123 
 
 of introduction, never for one moment meaning 
 the invitation to be accepted ; and if it is 
 seriously accepted, he will be sure to impress 
 upon his visitor before he leaves how incon- 
 venient his presence at the dinner-table would 
 be. The hint is so unmistakeable that the only 
 course is to take it and stay away. 
 
 On one occasion I met an acquaintance in the 
 street who was more European in his ideas than 
 most of the Spaniards. 
 
 " Where are you going ? " he asked. 
 
 " Nowhere in particular." 
 
 " Very well, come home with me and have a 
 bit of dinner ; my wife and daughter will be 
 delighted to see you." 
 
 I tried to excuse myself; but he was obdurate. 
 So we walked on towards his house. 
 
 "At last," I thought, " here is a Spaniard who 
 really means what he says." 
 
 Alas ! just as his hand was upon the bell a 
 sudden thought seemed to strike my com- 
 panion ; and turning to me in painful confusion 
 he said, 
 
 " My dear friend, a thousand pardons, I had 
 quite forgotten " 
 
 Here he hesitated, and sinking his voice 
 almost to a whisper he added, 
 
 " To-day is washing day." 
 
 Of course he was very sorry, and he begged rt was 
 
 , washing- 
 
 of me to come some other day which was not day. 
 
 " washing day." 
 
 Did I ? well, not exactly.
 
 124 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Very few even of the grandees in Madrid 
 entertain a VEuropeenne, and even those who do 
 entertain have fixed days for so doing. 
 
 For instance, the Duke of So-and-so gives, 
 we'll say, a dinner-party every Monday during 
 the season ; the Marquis So-and-so every 
 Wednesday ; and the Count So-and-so every 
 Saturday. These days are as fixed and as un- 
 alterable as were the laws of the Medes and 
 Persians ; and nothing short of an earthquake 
 would cause either Duke, Marquis or Count to 
 alter his day. 
 
 At these gatherings the company seldom 
 varies, and you meet the same old faces Monday 
 after Monday, Wednesday after Wednesday, 
 and Saturday after Saturday, until you sigh for 
 a change. 
 
 But the properly accredited Britisher, no 
 matter how disappointed he may be with native 
 hospitality, will be sure of a cordial welcome at 
 the hands of that prince of hosts, Sir Clare Ford, 
 our ambassador. 
 
 Much of the Spaniard's inhospitality is due to 
 the fact that he has inherited not a little of the 
 Moorish prejudice with respect to the invasion 
 of the family circle ; but, at the same time, 
 economical reasons play an important part. 
 On the whole, a Spaniard makes but a sorry 
 host. He is often by nature near unto mean- 
 ness, whilst he has no idea of entertaining as 
 we understand it, the formality and serious im- 
 portance of a well-regulated dinner, accustomed
 
 A Thought- Reader's Th&yghts. 125 
 
 as he is to his own scrambling, slip-shod style 
 of taking his meals, bewilder him beyond 
 measure. 
 
 Even in Madrid, where society aims at being 
 foreign in everything, it is after all thoroughly 
 Spanish at heart, and a slight scratch of the 
 European veneer reveals the Gotho- Bedouin 
 nature beneath ; whilst in the southern provinces 
 you have scarcely to scratch at all to come upon 
 the Moor. Indeed, so far as thought-reading is 
 concerned, one might just as well perform one's 
 experiments with the genuine article across the 
 Straits as with the Christianized version in 
 Andalusia. 
 
 The Andalusian does not like either physical 
 or mental activity. With him physical exertion 
 is Purgatory, and mental exertion positively 
 well, the other place. 
 
 I have frequently tried my hand with Moor 
 and Andalusian, and of the two I think I prefer 
 the former. They both are mentally indolent, 
 and neither possesses much concentration of 
 purpose, but the Infidel, on the whole, runs Infideland 
 straighter than the Christian, and his trickiness 
 is that of latent unbelief rather than of covert 
 design. If a Moor said he would think in the 
 manner required, he would, I believe, endeavour 
 to do so, however difficult the task might be to 
 him ; but a southern Spaniard with his hand 
 upon the crucifix, would be just as likely to 
 promise to perform what all the time he was 
 thinking how he could best evade.
 
 126 A Thought- Reader 's T/wztghts. 
 
 I am of course speaking generally, for in 
 particular instances I have met with many 
 exceptions. 
 
 Spaniards generally care nothing for science, 
 and next to nothing for either literature or art. 
 
 he With rare exceptions, they are pitiably igno- 
 
 Spaniards 
 as lin- rant of the outside world ; for they read but 
 
 guists. little and travel far less. Bad linguists, they 
 seldom visit foreign countries, the furthest extent 
 of their wanderings often being Paris, where 
 they go not because they are particularly ena- 
 moured of the French or their capital, but 
 because they frequently have a sufficient smat- 
 tering of French to carry them through, and 
 because to have been to Paris is to have been 
 brought in touch with everything chic. 
 
 Whereas in Lisbon almost every educated 
 person speaks French and Spanish fluently, 
 English fairly, and German slightly, the speak- 
 ing of foreign languages in Madrid is quite the 
 exception, although it is true some of the ladies 
 in society are fair linguists. 
 
 In the Government, Sefior Moret, who holds 
 
 the portfolio for Foreign Affairs, is, I think, about 
 
 the only minister who can converse intelligibly 
 
 in English ; whilst the Duke de Frias, the Civil 
 
 Governor, the Duke de Alba, and the Marquis 
 
 Casa de Laiglesia, ex-minister to England, are 
 
 society's most accomplished linguists. 
 
 The The Marquis is altogether a singularly able 
 
 grandee, man, and more completely comes up to the ideal 
 
 picture of a Spanish grandee than any one I
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 127 
 
 have yet met. He is moreover one of the most 
 brilliant members of the Spanish diplomatic 
 service ; and the party considerations which 
 have caused his removal from the Court of St. 
 James's are highly regrettable ; for his friendship 
 for this country is of the warmest, and such a 
 man, were he in office here, would be able to 
 materially further the efforts of Sir Clare Ford, 
 our representative in Madrid, towards building 
 up a lasting friendship between this country and 
 Spain. 
 
 Apropos of Sir Clare Ford, his popularity Sir clare 
 amongst all classes is most remarkable. He is 
 not only a persona grata with the court and the 
 government, and the most sought after man in 
 society, but he is, perhaps, the only member of 
 the Diplomatic Corps with whose person the 
 populace is thoroughly familiar. 
 
 Without wishing to question the excellent 
 work done by those who preceded him, I can 
 without hesitation say that Sir Clare has done 
 more to bring about a good understanding be- 
 tween this country and Spain, and to make 
 England and the English generally popular 
 throughout the Peninsula than any other Eng- 
 lish minister. 
 
 Sir Clare thoroughly understands Spanish His tact 
 character, and never attempts force where per- 
 
 suasion will by any chance answer ; for a Spanish 
 Spaniard can be coaxed but never driven, he 
 as a general thing being as obstinate, and 
 often as dense, as his own mule, and requires a
 
 128 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 lot of delicate handling. The diplomatist 
 therefore, who hasn't due regard for a Spaniard's 
 pride, and the tact to overcome his obstinacy, as 
 well as the patience to put up with his dilatory 
 ways, will make but little of him. It is just 
 because Sir Clare Ford is so excellent a judge of 
 character, and a man of such infinite tact, that 
 he is so successful, and in these days of uncer- 
 tainty, when the friendship of Spain undoubtedly 
 counts for something, it is indeed well that we 
 have at the Court of Madrid so thoroughly com- 
 petent and popular a man as our present repre- 
 The sentative. With the exception of the ex-Queen 
 
 Royai Sh Isabella > the Spanish Royal Family are 
 family as excellent linguists, whilst the Queen-Regent 
 converses fluently in her own language (Ger- 
 man), French and English, and Spanish. 
 
 The Queen-Regent did me the honour of 
 receiving me in special audience at the Royal 
 Palace when I was in Madrid ; and, during the 
 interview, exceptional opportunities were af- 
 forded me of making a psychological analysis 
 of her Majesty ; in the course of the interview, 
 which lasted close upon two hours, I had the 
 honour of performing some thought-reading 
 experiments with her. 
 
 It has been my good fortune to have been 
 
 brought in contact with many royal personages 
 
 in many countries, but scarcely one of them so 
 
 The strongly impressed me as did her Majesty. She 
 
 Regent" has a striking individuality, which makes itself 
 
 apparent to the most casual observer. Though
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 129 
 
 not exactly handsome, yet her face is full of an 
 intellectuality which attracts, where a more 
 beautiful woman would remain unnoticed. Her 
 manner is at once frank and gracious, and no one 
 could possibly feel ill-at-ease in her presence. 
 Her complexion is pale, and the gold of her hair, 
 and the sombreness of her mourning tend to in- 
 tensify the pallor, giving one the impression that 
 she is in decline. This, I am assured, is not the 
 case, but she certainly does not possess good 
 health. Public affairs, to which she devotes 
 much time and labour, try her sadly, but she 
 holds the reins with a firmness and a skill re- 
 markable in a woman of so delicate a constitu- 
 tion. But then she is a person of exceptional 
 determination and extraordinary precision, as 
 the occasional gleam of fire from her otherwise 
 placid blue eyes, and the tightening of her sym- 
 pathetic mouth forcibly betray. She is exceed- 
 ingly nerveuse, and highly strung, and is a great 
 sufferer from neuralgia. Since the king's death, 
 she has appeared very little in public, and has 
 taken no part in public entertainments, 1 rigidly 
 confining herself to the family circle. Amongst 
 her other virtues the Queen is an excellent mother, 
 and is passionately devoted to her children. She 
 is a good and a true woman, and the people know 
 it, and honour her accordingly. But, whilst they 
 admire her for her strength of character and de- 
 
 1 Since this was written her Majesty has taken a much 
 more active part in public events, the mourning period 
 being now practically over. 
 
 K
 
 130 A Thought- Reader' s Thoughts. 
 
 votion to the best interests of the State, and ring 
 her praises generally, the dominant feeling with 
 it all is that she is an alien, and were it not for 
 the existence of the boy-king, her reign in Spain 
 would, I expect, be brief. 
 
 Mother The fact of this child being born, Rey de las 
 Espanas, appealed with irresistible directness to 
 the people's higher feelings, and the romantic 
 event undoubtedly quickened the pulses of 
 loyalty towards the present dynasty to a re- 
 markable extent. Many who would probably 
 have been in open antagonism to the widow are 
 at this moment found warmly espousing the 
 cause of the mother and child. 
 
 Monarchy Republicanism, by the bye, contrary to what 
 Republi- wc are l fi d to understand here in England, is not 
 canism. a ver y active force just now in Spain ; it has no 
 prominent leaders, and the progressive policy 
 inaugurated by the present government has 
 certainly taken the wind out of its sails. So 
 feeble, in fact, is the support given to the re- 
 publican press that newspapers of advanced 
 political type experience considerable difficulty 
 in keeping their heads above water, and every 
 year sees many of them succumb. Even Senor 
 Zorilla's organ, ElProgreso, notwithstanding the 
 heavy subsidies it was alleged to have received 
 from well-wishers in France, has been unable to 
 make two- ends meet, and has been forced to 
 suspend publication. 
 
 Senor Castelar, at one time the darling of 
 Democracy, is a politician of daily decreasing
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 131 
 
 influence. He is, in fact, a man without either 
 policy or party, and having, apparently, nothing 
 better to do, allows himself to drift with the 
 tide.' 
 
 The Sefior is undoubtedly a great orator. At The 
 one time his influence over the people was little Gladstone, 
 short of the marvellous ; but now the magic of his 
 voice ceases to charm, and his former worshippers 
 no longer view him as an oracle, but as an 
 automaton whose wonder-working machinery is 
 apparent to the dullest eye. 
 
 Castelar, by the bye, is called the Spanish 
 Gladstone, but beyond the fact that he is a great 
 talker, and that he has fallen from his high 
 estate, there is little similarity between the two 
 statesmen. 
 
 Senor Castelar has neither Mr. Gladstone's 
 depth of thought nor his mesmeric charms ; and 
 unlike the great Englishman, he fails, even in 
 his most earnest moments, to convey the im- 
 pression that he is sincere. In my experiments 
 with SeSor Castelar I found the difference be- 
 tween him and his English political double still 
 more strongly marked. The Spaniard was quick 
 and ready, but distinctly superficial, showing 
 but little of the Englishman's power of concen- 
 tration and absolutely nothing of his impressive 
 calmness. 
 
 Seiior Sagasta, the Prime Minister, who has 
 
 Judging by a recent speech in the Cortes, Castelar, it 
 would appear, has almost been persuaded to become a 
 Monarchist. 
 
 K 2
 
 132 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 "All been somewhat cruelly described as a man "all 
 
 brains and u . , ,, . r 
 
 no con- brains and no conscience, is a statesman of 
 science." considerable sagacity, and it is as much owing 
 
 to his tact as to his liberal policy that the present 
 
 government has kept in so long. 
 
 Spain's Senor Canovas is perhaps the ablest states- 
 ablest c u u u i 
 statesman. m an in Spam ; but he is uncompromisingly 
 
 conservative, and his views are not in accord 
 with the spirit of the time. He has, however, a 
 considerable following, and there is no knowing 
 how soon he may exchange the post of leader 
 of the opposition for that of premier ; for the 
 Spaniards immovable in most things dearly 
 love political change, and he would be a rash 
 man who would predict a long life to any govern- 
 ment, no matter how enlightened or careful of 
 the public interests. 
 
 The Sagasta government has promised much 
 but done little in the way of reforms ; not 
 because it was unwilling to carry them out, but 
 because on account of the vigorous opposition 
 with which they were met it was unable to do 
 
 Reforms so Reforms in Spain seldom get beyond the 
 in Spam. 
 
 paper stage, each succeeding government enter- 
 ing office full of promises, issues its documentos 
 and rests from its labours, trusting with true 
 Eastern resignation to Fate to see them 
 fulfilled. And it is just possible that the 
 present government will, in this direction, prove 
 no exception to the rule ; but its policy on the 
 face of it seems a progressive one, anyhow there 
 does not appear to be any desire to go back to
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 133 
 
 those days of darkness from which Spain, politi- 
 cally, has but just emerged. On the other hand, 
 it is feared, should the Sagasta government come 
 to an end and the conservative regime be 
 re-established, there would be a tendency to 
 return to that military despotism under which 
 the country for so long groaned in vain. 
 
 Amidst so many conflicting political elements, 
 to say nothing of the rival claims within the 
 family circle itself, the Queen-Regent must find 
 it exceedingly difficult to steer a straight course, 
 and any less determined and courageous woman 
 would have shrunk from the task in despair. 
 
 Queen Christina has a will of her own, and 
 the people about her know that she is not a 
 woman to be trifled with. She means what she 
 says, and does what she expresses her intention 
 of doing, and in a country where every one does 
 just the opposite, such straightforwardness is not 
 without effect. 
 
 I have experimented with many women of 
 note empresses, queens, princesses, great author- 
 esses, artists, singers, actresses, travellers most 
 of them women of known strong character, but 
 for downright concentration of thought and 
 determinedness of purpose I have scarcely ever 
 met the equal of the Queen-Regent. 
 
 The seance in the Palacio Real, to which I A seance 
 have already briefly referred, was of more than r0 yal 
 ordinary interest ; for the " subjects " with whom 
 I operated offered the widest possible psycho- 
 logical contrasts.
 
 134 -A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 To begin with, there was her Majesty, calm, 
 thoughtful, determined ; secondly, the Infanta 
 Isabel, the blue-stocking of the royal family, 
 precise, quick-witted, and full of intellectual sym- 
 pathy ; thirdly, the Infanta Eulalia, soft, emo- 
 tional, and intensely feminine ; fourthly, her 
 husband, the Don Antonio de Montpensier, a 
 well-disposed, gentleman-like man, with no 
 special characteristics, who suffers, like the 
 Queen-Regent, from chronic neuralgia ; and 
 lastly, the Comtesse de Paris, with the mental 
 and physical grasp of a man and the tender, 
 sympathetic heart of a woman. 
 
 Two of the most extraordinary experiments I 
 did that day were performed with the Queen- 
 Regent and the Comtesse de Paris. 
 
 With the Queen the experiment was as 
 follows : 
 
 An ima- Her Majesty had heard that I was able, by 
 gmary m y p rocess o f thought-reading, to enact an 
 scene. imaginary murder scene contemplated by a 
 person acting as my subject, and she asked me 
 if I would*give her an illustration of this cha- 
 racter. 
 
 But every one seemed to be timorous about 
 t, and the experiment ran the risk of not being 
 tried for lack of a suitable subject. 
 
 " What ! " said her Majesty, springing to her 
 feet ; " Can no one commit a murder ? I will ! " 
 and she seized an antique paper-knife, shaped 
 like a dagger, and assumed an intensely drama- 
 tic attitude.
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 135 
 
 At that moment I took her Majesty by the 
 hand, and I felt her whole frame thrill with 
 suppressed excitement. Her eyes were fixed 
 and bright, and her lips drawn firmly together, 
 and although the whole thing was but in play, 
 I was much impressed with the tragic force she 
 displayed. 
 
 Then came the experiment. 
 
 I was blindfolded, and taking the dagger in 
 my right hand, I moved across the salon holding 
 her Majesty with the left hand. 
 
 Presently we paused opposite a lady of the 
 household, who was reclining on a sofa. 
 
 Quickly bending forward, the queen's left hand 
 
 was about her throat, and the ivory knife flashed Down 
 
 * came the 
 
 in the light ; then down it came full in the breast knife, 
 of the victim. 
 
 A faint scream of genuine alarm from the 
 lady, a tightening of the Queen's grasp for a 
 moment, followed by a deep breath, and all was 
 over. Then with a rapid twist our hands parted 
 and the knife was sent clattering across the 
 room ; and lifting my blindfold, I saw her 
 Majesty standing before me, radiant with delight 
 at the success of the experiment 
 
 The whole thing had been most dramatically 
 thought out and realistically executed, and all 
 that was strong and determined in her Majesty 
 came out in that moment. 
 
 In Queen Christina Spain has. a ruler who 
 possesses the proverbial soft, silken hand with 
 the grasp of steel.
 
 136 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 My experiment with the Comtesse de Paris 
 was of quite another character. 
 
 H.R.H. said, 
 
 " I am thinking of something. Can you tell 
 Paris and me what it is, and where it is ? " 
 
 nit ' I promised to try, and the test commenced. 
 
 At the outset I discovered that H.R.H.'s 
 thoughts were concentrated upon herself, and 
 that the article thought of was upon her own 
 person. But where ? 
 
 I fumbled about her dress in search of the 
 pocket, in which I felt sure the article was ; but, 
 dear me ! what a difficulty I had. To find a 
 woman's skirt pocket with one's eyes wide open 
 is, even under the most favourable circumstances, 
 by no means an easy task, and the male reader 
 will readily understand what a trial it must have 
 been to a blindfolded man. But eventually I 
 succeeded in stumbling upon it, and in went my 
 hand and out came a pocket-book. This I 
 opened, and from out of a packet of papers I 
 selected one particular document. 
 
 It was the one H.R.H. had in her mind, 
 being the permit of the French Government 
 allowing her to pass through France on her way 
 to Madrid. 
 
 Queen A few weeks after this, we were in Seville, 
 
 Isabella. an( j ^ e ex-Queen Isabella did us the honour of 
 inviting us to spend the afternoon in her private 
 apartments at the Alcazar. Her Majesty was 
 exceedingly gracious. I use the word gracious 
 because it is the orthodox word used to describe
 
 A Thoiight- Reader's Thoughts. 137 
 
 a royal personage's amiability ; but in reality 
 her Majesty was exceedingly jolly ; and at the 
 risk of being considered wanting in reverence 
 for the majesty that doth surround a crowned 
 head, I must confess that she was the jolliest 
 queen we had come across. 
 
 There is an abandon about Queen Isabella 
 which is perfectly refreshing in its naturalness 
 after the starchiness of some of the royal person- 
 ages one comes in contact with ; although I 
 can assure the reader she is fully conscious of 
 her own dignity. She struck me as being a kind- 
 hearted woman, full of human sympathy, highly 
 sensitive, and with moods as changeable as the 
 winds. 
 
 As a subject for thought-reading her Majesty 
 although full of psychological interest, was not 
 wholly satisfactory. 
 
 At times she would concentrate her thoughts 
 in a manner that left nothing to be desired ; but 
 there was nothing sustained about it. It ap- 
 peared, in fact, to be impossible for her Majesty 
 to concentrate her thoughts upon one particular 
 thing for any length of time. For instance, 
 whilst I would be trying to point out an object 
 in the room upon which her Majesty had fixed 
 her thoughts, the remembrance of something 
 that had occurred in Paris or some other place 
 would flash through her mind, and she would 
 break off in the midst of the experiment to 
 relate the incident to me, entirely forgetting 
 for the moment all about the object upon
 
 138 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 which' her thoughts were supposed to be con- 
 centrated. 
 
 This is very woman-like, but it is bad for a 
 thought-reading experiment. 
 
 Myexperi- Yet in two or three instances I had some 
 with her remarkable successes with her. One in particu- 
 Majesty. lar had reference to the imaginary murder scene 
 I had enacted with the Queen-Regent, concern- 
 ing which her Majesty evinced the deepest in- 
 terest. 
 
 " I cannot kill any one myself," said her 
 Majesty with a good-humoured laugh; "but," 
 she added with an air of dignity, " I can order 
 some one to do it for me." 
 
 "Well, your Majesty, I am ready to carry 
 out your commands on your thinking of the 
 man you wish to do the killing and the one who 
 is to be the victim." 
 
 " It is done ! " 
 
 A traitor It was a deeply interesting experiment. Her 
 disposed Majesty, sitting there in the old palace of the 
 Moors, pictured that she was an oriental po- 
 tentate, and that having discovered an act ot 
 treachery upon the part of one of her trusted 
 officers had decided to deal summarily with 
 him. 
 
 The Captain -General of the district, who was 
 reclining at his ease upon a sofa, oblivious as to 
 what was passing through the Queen's mind, 
 was selected as the victim, and a well-trusted 
 officer of her household was chosen as the exe- 
 cutioner.
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 139 
 
 It was a curious scene : the expiring sun 
 glowed blood-red upon the frescoed walls and 
 lit up the face of the Queen-Mother as she sat 
 ready to give the word which was to send the 
 unhappy man to his doom. Then, as her 
 Majesty arose, I indicated the officer who was 
 to do her bidding ; and, taking a sword, pro- 
 ceeded to the sofa where reclined the Captain- 
 General. 
 
 The sword was raised and the deed enacted, 
 the rays of the sun as they struck the glistening 
 steel falling from it like streams of blood. 
 
 Queen Isabella has but indifferent health, and 
 the least physical exertion appears to distress 
 her ; and at the close of my experiments she 
 seemed to be considerably overcome. 
 
 Her Majesty is exceedingly superstitious, and 
 is a great believer in what is called Fate ; she 
 has, moreover, great faith in " affinities " and the 
 influence of one person over another, for good or 
 evil. She is convinced that it is possible for a 
 person to magnetise another by look, by touch, 
 or by desire, and I fear that her Majesty came 
 to the conclusion that I could not only read 
 thoughts, but that I possessed a magnetic influ- 
 ence as powerful as it might be dangerous. 
 
 " It must be very terrible to have such a hus- A thought- 
 band," remarked the Queen to my wife ; " for husband. ^ 
 with such a man not one thought could be 
 one's own." 
 
 " But when all one's thoughts are one's hus- 
 band's, your Majesty, what doe? it matter ? "
 
 140 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 " Truly, but how many women's thoughts are 
 entirely their husband's ?" replied the Queen with 
 a worldly smile ; " and for that reason very few, 
 I think, would like to marry a thought-reader. 
 No," she added with a laugh, " the idea is too 
 terrible." 
 
 I may mention that her Majesty does not 
 speak English and that her conversation, with 
 those who do not understand Spanish, is carried 
 on in French. 
 
 With respect to Queen Isabella's political as- 
 pirations, there is no doubt that her Majesty 
 feels her loss of power acutely, but I think she 
 has in a measure accepted the inevitable. In 
 any case, she is not that centre of intrigue that 
 certain knowing scribes would have us believe ; 
 Isabella anc ^ msteac ^ f being intensely jealous of the 
 and the Queen-Regent, she holds her Majesty in high 
 Regent, esteem, whilst her love for her baby grandson is 
 of the most extravagant description. 
 
 There are, it is true, many people in Spain 
 who view the rule of the " foreign woman," as 
 they call the Queen Regent, with strong dis- 
 favour, and who think that the proper ruler 
 during the little king's minority should be the 
 Queen-Mother, as they persist in calling Queen 
 Isabella ; and intrigues with the object of bring- 
 ing this about are secretly carried on. I do not 
 for a moment believe that her Majesty inspires 
 these intrigues or even countenances them ; but 
 as long as she remains in Spain the movement 
 will continue. Her Majesty is fully conscious
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 141 
 
 of this, and, if what I hear be true, that in order 
 not to endanger the safety of the present regime 
 by remaining, she purposes taking up a lengthy 
 residence abroad, her Majesty possesses a nobi- 
 lity of character far beyond that which the world 
 at large would have given her credit for. 
 
 Queen Isabella is wonderfully popular with | ^ e . r y 
 the masses, especially in the south, and with all 
 her ineligibilities the common folk would, I think, 
 rather see the reins of government in her hands 
 than in those of the " foreigner." 
 
 "She is one of us/' the people say ; "she is 
 Spanish in all things ; that is what we want." 
 
 With the knowledge, therefore, of the position 
 that she still holds in the hearts of the common 
 people, it must be a sore temptation to the 
 ex-Queen to remain till events take their course, 
 instead of destroying her chances by voluntary 
 banishment ; for be it understood that her 
 Majesty is not without her ambitions ; and 
 any step short of the deposition of the Queen 
 Regent and the infringement of the rights of 
 her infant grandson she would doubtless agree 
 to as a means of installing herself once more 
 in power. 
 
 A great change has come over political 
 thought in Spain ; politicians no longer solely 
 occupy themselves with domestic affairs, but 
 begin to have interest in the politics of other 
 nations. The indifference amongst the people 
 themselves as to what goes on in the out- 
 side world is destined in time to disappear,
 
 142 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 although things move slowly in Spain ; any- 
 how an active interest has already been excited 
 throughout the country in their colonial pos- 
 sessions, about which they have been too long 
 indifferent. 
 
 Spain and The action of Germany with respect to the 
 
 colonies Carolines more forcibly drew the attention of 
 
 the Spaniards to their colonies than anything 
 
 else, and the interest it awakened in them 
 
 promises to be lasting. 
 
 Moreover, the Commercial Treaty negotiated 
 by Sir Clare Ford has caused the Spaniards 
 to look beyond the coast-line and to long for 
 increased intercourse with other nations ; and 
 the good feeling which our ambassador has 
 done so much to bring about between England 
 and Spain for Spanish policy was never so 
 English as it is now has every prospect of 
 being extended to our possessions beyond the 
 seas, especially with Canada and our West 
 Indian colonies. Indeed, Sir Charles Tupper, 
 the Canadian Minister of Finance, has in mind 
 the idea of a special mission to Madrid for 
 the purpose of establishing closer trade rela- 
 tions between the Dominion and Spain. 
 
 Many travellers regard the future of Spain 
 as being absolutely hopeless, being guided in 
 their conclusions by the stagnation of the 
 present ; but there is a vitality in the country 
 which is not apparent to the casual observer, 
 and in a land where it is only the unexpected 
 that is certain, he would be a rash man who
 
 A Tho ught- Reader s Thoughts. 143 
 
 would stake his reputation as a prophet upon 
 foretelling the future of Spain. 
 
 Anyhow there are abundant signs of its 
 awaking from the siesta which until a few 
 years back seemed to be eternal, and the 
 recent determination of the Great Powers to 
 recognize Spain as one of their number is an 
 important sign of the importance she has un- 
 expectedly assumed in the eyes of Europe. 
 
 With the Spaniards the siesta is quite a 
 national institution. With most of them, in fact, 
 life appears to be one eternal holiday, to be 
 slept and smoked through ; and, in consequence, 
 when a native is not asleep he is sure to be 
 smoking, and when not smoking he is equally 
 sure to be asleep. 
 
 Smoking is universal with all classes, but it 
 is not, as in Russia and Poland, common with 
 the women ; although the fair sex or rumour 
 libels them do now and then take a whiff in 
 secret at a neatly turned cigarillo. This secret 
 indulgence is apparently winked at, whereas 
 open smoking would perhaps be condemned as 
 bad form. 
 
 Apropos of Spanish women, it would take a 
 whole chapter to do justice to their many 
 claims to consideration. The women of the 
 Peninsula vary not only with every province, 
 but with every district, and frequently with 
 every town. 
 
 It is in Madrid in Society and at the opera 
 that one sees the most varied specimens of
 
 144 A Thought-Reader's Tkongkts* 
 
 feminine loveliness ; there there is no general 
 type of beauty, blondes, brunettes and the 
 dark-eyed, olive-skinned descendants of the 
 Moors, forming groups of unequalled attractive- 
 ness. 
 
 It is in Seville and in Andalucia generally 
 that the most beautiful women in all Spain are 
 found, whilst the Valencians are, to my think- 
 ing, the plainest. Throughout Andalucia the 
 general type is dark, black eyes, raven locks, and 
 rich warm complexions, but now and again you 
 come across a girl with a tinge of gold in her 
 hair, and eyes of a reddish shade, inherited no 
 doubt from some Red Moorish ancestor. 
 
 When a Spanish woman is beautiful, she is 
 beyond compare ; but this transcendent beauty, 
 contrary to what travellers would have us be- 
 lieve, is the exception rather than the rule in 
 Spain, and the common type of womankind 
 is not prepossessing ; whilst, sad to say, a 
 Spanish woman's good looks last but a brief 
 span, and as she puts on years she invariably 
 puts on flesh, whilst long before she arrives 
 at the age when we in England consider a 
 woman has a right to be both " fair and fat," 
 the symmetry of her form is certainly not of 
 the character that an aesthetic poet would rave 
 about. In fact one of the chief reasons why 
 so few Europeans marry Spanish women is, 
 I believe, on this account. A man must be 
 very much gone on the senorita of his choice, 
 and be possessed of a Bayardian loyalty, if he
 
 A T hought- Reader' s Thoughts. 145 
 
 does not desire to escape from the engagement 
 on seeing the mother-in-law elect. 
 
 It is really a tax upon any man's chivalry 
 and devotion to be suddenly confronted with 
 mamma and the senoras of the family, and to 
 know that the sylph-like Venus by his side will 
 inevitably become every whit as bulky and un- 
 wieldy as they. If mamma did not put in an 
 appearance until after the marriage, many an 
 additional son-in-law would be secured her ; 
 but as it is, her daughter is so strictly chape- 
 roned that she is scarcely left a moment alone 
 with her fiance, and the result is the unfortunate 
 young man's attention is forcibly drawn to the 
 fate that is in store for him. 
 
 Chaperoning is rigorously exercised in all Chaperon- 
 parts of Spain a country where it is not re- Spain, 
 spectable for a female to go out alone. Every 
 young woman, even unto them who are perfectly 
 capable of taking care of themselves, has her 
 cliaperone when she takes her walks abroad. 
 
 Argus may have been 'cute, but in a trial of 
 vigilance I would, I think, be inclined to put my 
 money on the Spanish materfamilias, who not 
 only keeps her chicks under her wing with a 
 care equal to that of the most devoted mother 
 hen, but she can sight a possible poacher long 
 before he is visible to the ordinary eye. 
 
 But then in justice it should be added that it 
 would not be safe for any young girl to walk in 
 the streets unattended ; for Spaniards, although 
 exceedingly punctilious and formal, are not in 
 
 L
 
 146 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 reality courteous, and their views with regard to 
 women in general are embraced in cynical 
 Talleyrand's three golden rules L'opportunitc, 
 L? opportunity L 1 opportunitc. 
 
 Then a Spaniard's every-day language, even 
 in the presence of his women folk, is of the 
 most free-and-easy description. 
 
 Spanish I have lived a hap-hazard kind of life, and on 
 words." vai "ious occasions my time has been passed in 
 what the Yanks would call pretty " tough com- 
 pany," but I must frankly confess that I never 
 knew what swearing was until I went to Spain, 
 where the ability to imprecate on the slightest 
 provocation is common with the highest as well 
 as the lowest. 
 
 I have heard grandees of I don't know how 
 many degrees use " cuss-words " that would 
 have put the most hardened voyageur of the 
 Red River to shame ; whilst I once came across 
 a dying muleteer who divided the time that 
 breath remained in his body between mumbling 
 his prayers and " cussing " his lot, even in death 
 the habit of a lifetime being too strong for 
 him. 
 
 There is nothing that goes so much to prove 
 the latent Old Adam in man as his proneness 
 to imprecate under temptation, and I cannot 
 help thinking that the man who never under 
 any circumstances made use of what is called 
 a " naughty word " is almost too good for this 
 world, whilst with some people "cussing" is 
 what the safety-valve is to the boiler ; and it would
 
 A Thought- Reader 1 's Thoughts. 147 
 
 be dreadful to think what would be the result if, 
 instead of unburdening themselves, they kept all 
 that they wished to express under becoming 
 restraint. 
 
 Knowing, therefore, that swearing is quite as 
 much an inheritance as a habit, I am inclined to 
 be lenient with people who have inherited this 
 propensity, and who find it the readiest and most 
 natural way of relieving their feelings. But 
 hardened as I have become through years of 
 travel and familiarity with man's depravity, I 
 frankly admit to having discovered a squeamish- 
 ness that I knew not of when I made the 
 acquaintance of a few Spanish oaths. Even 
 those in daily use are scarcely mentionable, 
 whilst those expressed under provocation would, 
 even if revised'by an archbishop, be altogether un- 
 printable, and a Spaniard's stock of native " cuss- 
 words " is pretty considerable, and takes a lot 
 of drawing on before they become exhausted ; 
 but should they be all used up, he does not 
 hesitate to borrow a few from the language of 
 his ancestors the Moors ; the combination in 
 consequence is picturesque but at the. same time 
 grossly sensual. 
 
 I have heard but I mention it only in the 
 faintest whisper that even dainty ladies cannot 
 resist the temptation now and then to show that 
 man's example is catching. 
 
 Spanish women have all the curiosity and but 
 little of the intuition common to their sex in 
 European countries ; they have all the Moslem 
 
 L 2
 
 148 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 women's hatred of physical exercise, and much 
 A Spanish o f their voluptuous indolence. They are as a 
 
 woman's . . . , 
 
 education, rule most inadequately taught, and scarcely one 
 has ever, I should think, been the victim of over- 
 pressure. Whilst the majority of the lower 
 classes can barely read or write, the education 
 of the middle classes is practically limited to a 
 grounding in matters appertaining to the rites 
 and usages of Mother Church. Her literature is 
 almost entirely of a religious character, inter- 
 leaved with vulgar accounts of the doings of the 
 bull- ring. Of the works of foreign authors she 
 knows but little even by name, whilst her 
 acquaintance with those of her own countrymen 
 is, as a rule, confined to trashy productions of a 
 questionable character. 
 
 She is invariably fervently religious, and every- 
 thing around her tends to encourage her natural 
 superstition which she imbibes at her mother's 
 breast. 
 
 The men are rapidly emancipating themselves 
 from the bonds of religious slavery ; but the 
 priests, finding the husbands, fathers and brothers 
 slipping through their fingers, tighten their grasp 
 upon the women folk by way of equalizing 
 matters. This the men in no way resent : " It 
 is not good that they should know too much, or 
 think as we do/' they will say ; " We do not 
 believe as men once believed, but then our wives 
 and daughters pray for us as well as for them- 
 selves. They have more time for such things 
 than we have, and they do it so much better."
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 149 
 
 A comfortable doctrine this. 
 
 Spanish women have fewer vices than those 
 of many other nations. They are naturally 
 voluptuous and passionate, but they are scrupu- 
 lously loyal to those whom they love, making 
 devoted, obedient wives, without bothering their 
 heads about women's rights or any of those 
 questions which vex the souls of their more 
 masculine-minded sisters in this country. 
 
 Intellectually they, it is true, don't particularly 
 shine, but then men, as a rule, don't seek for the 
 cold, calm pleasures of intellectual affinities with 
 dreams of dazzling loveliness in front of them. 
 The pedant who could be insensible to the 
 swimming eye, the rich glowing complexion, 
 the wealth of blue-black hair, the white shapely 
 neck, neatly-turned ankle, and tapering hands 
 full of poetical repose, must be pretty far pro- 
 gressed in the sear and yellow leaf. 
 
 Their natural superstitions are, however, a little 
 pitiable, and in my own case I frequently found 
 them somewhat trying. 
 
 Many women got a sort of notion that I might I am much 
 prove the arbiter of their fate, and in consequence 
 my hotel was besieged with callers, and every 
 post brought a batch of letters that was my 
 despair. 
 
 My secretary, an unromantic young man, who 
 had never had, I firmly believe, a love affair of 
 his own in his life, replied to them with uniform 
 cold-bloodness, and I fear that my character for 
 gallantry does not stand very high in Spain.
 
 150 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 But some would not accept my plain matter-of- 
 fact statement that I could no more tell their 
 future than the man in the moon, and that I had 
 absolutely no power to direct their wishes to a 
 satisfactory conclusion, and they persisted in 
 personally forcing their grievances upon me. 
 
 I am not naturally a hard-hearted man, and I 
 often found it exceedingly difficult to say the 
 . stern nay to the fascinating yea ; indeed I was 
 not infrequently sorely tempted to indulge in a 
 little clairvoyance in order to set the minds of 
 the distressed females at rest. For a woman who 
 is inclined to a belief in supernaturalism will 
 accept as Gospel truth anything that may be 
 told her by a so-called clairvoyant, no matter 
 how absurd or impossible it may be. 
 And my Did a young girl want a sweetheart, did a 
 sorely 06 1S wi ^ e want ^ er husband's fidelity assured, did a 
 tried. young man want to know a short cut to fortune, 
 or an old one the winning number in a lottery, 
 they all came to me, or put their wants in volu- 
 minous correspondence that took hours to get 
 through. 
 
 Some of the requests had their pathetic sides, 
 some their romantic, and not a few their ridicu- 
 lous aspects, whilst many were the emanations 
 of what the Americans tersely call " cranks. " 
 A delicate One morning my valet informed me that a 
 matter. y OUn g lady, deeply veiled, attended by a duenna, 
 had called to see. me ; but on being informed 
 that I was not up, declined to wait, and expressed 
 her intention of calling again.
 
 A Thought- Reader* s Thoughts. 151 
 
 She called again and again, but without seeing 
 me. She would not leave a message, simply say- 
 ing that she must see me personally, as the 
 matter was one of great importance. 
 
 At last we met, and she unfolded her story to 
 me. 
 
 She was in love, and was in turn beloved. 
 
 This she told me with downcast eyes and 
 many blushes. 
 
 But, alas ! she loved not one but two, and not 
 one but both of them loved her. 
 
 What should she do ? 
 
 Do ? Well, how could I advise her ? 
 
 "I must make up my mind to day," she went 
 on to say. " Tell me which one I should choose. 
 I love them both equally well ; but oh, tell me 
 which of them loves me best ? " 
 
 The blushes grew deeper, and her eyes looked Alfredo 
 
 , . , . versus 
 
 curiously into mine. Antonio. 
 
 Ah, those eyes ; no wonder Alfredo and 
 Antonio were both at her feet. 
 
 Alas for me, was ever poor mortal placed in 
 such a position ? 
 
 Had she been less bewitching my task would 
 have been easier ; for as every man knows and 
 every woman for the matter of that loveliness 
 gets answered where plainness pleads in vain. 
 
 Had I mere unattractive homeliness to deal 
 with I might have answered her as follows : 
 
 "You love Alfredo?" 
 
 " Yes ? " 
 
 " Has he a squint in his left eye ? "
 
 152 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 "No?" 
 
 "Then for goodness' sake marry Alfredo; 
 and/' I might have mentally added, " think 
 yourself lucky you can find any one to marry 
 you at all." 
 
 With Antonio I could have dealt with thus : 
 
 " You also love Antonio ? " 
 
 "Yes?" 
 
 " Does he eat garlic ? Has he a mother-in- 
 law ? " 
 
 " What, eats garlic and has a mother-in-law ? 
 Then Antonio is clearly impossible. No, seno- 
 rita, you cannot marry Antonio." 
 
 This perhaps would have satisfied her, and 
 the garlic-eating, mother-in-law weighted An- 
 tonio would have had to seek elsewhere for a 
 wife. 
 
 But the senorita was not plain, and her charms 
 made one feel for her and with her in a most 
 remarkable way. 
 
 How could I bestow her in such an off-hand 
 way upon Alfredo, or put the unfortunate 
 Antonio so completely out of court through no 
 fault of his own ? 
 
 Perhaps after all the squintless Alfredo might 
 
 prove faithless, whilst Antonio might make the 
 
 best of husbands, even giving up eating garlic, 
 
 . and undertaking to keep his mother-in-law in 
 
 order. No, I must be fair to Antonio. 
 In a The lovers I determined should have equal 
 
 dilemma. c hances, but I did not feel justified in deciding 
 upon so lovely a young maiden's future. I
 
 A Thought-Reader' 1 s Thoughts. 153 
 
 might by chance doom her to lifelong unhappi- 
 ness, with the curses of the ill-matched couple 
 and their mothers-in-law following me through 
 the ages ; or I might by a lucky choice decide 
 for a union full of unalloyed bliss, with the pro- 
 spect of being asked to stand as godfather to 
 every successive olive-branch. 
 
 Had it been my own affair, I should probably 
 have got out of the dilemma by tossing ; but I 
 could hardly advise this charming senorita to 
 stake the happiness of a life upon the twirl of a 
 peseta with " Heads, Antonio, you win ; tails 
 Alfredo, you are mine." 
 
 I tried hard to shirk the responsibility, but 
 my double-wooed visitor would not go without 
 a decision. 
 
 Was it to be Alfredo or Antonio ; Antonio or 
 Alfredo ? She couldn't marry both, but she 
 evidently intended marrying one of them. 
 
 " Why not trust to fate ? " I eventually said as 
 a happy inspiration dawned upon me. 
 
 " If you love both equally well, why not take First come 
 the one who comes first ? First come, first served, 
 as we say in England. If Senor Antonio 
 happens to be the man, you can explain to 
 Serior Alfredo that he is too late, and that it was 
 entirely owing to his unfortunate dilatoriness 
 that he did not occupy the position held by 
 Antonio. This, senorita, will convince him that 
 it is his misfortune and not his fault that he has 
 lost you : it will satisfy his pride and at the same 
 time make him more punctual another time.
 
 154 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 " Not that any one," I hurriedly added as a jealous 
 fire lit up her eyes, " who had once loved you, 
 could ever love another." 
 
 This arrangement seemed to please her, and 
 with a profusion of thanks she and her aged 
 companion took their departure. 
 
 How it all ended I don't know, and as the 
 lady did not give her name and address I have 
 no means of ascertaining. Anyhow I hope the 
 Fates were kind, and, whether they gave her 
 Antonio or Alfredo, that she will have no cause 
 to regret the advice I gave her. 
 
 On another occasion a middle-aged seiiora,very 
 fat, and far from prepossessing, called upon me, 
 accompanied by her husband, a meek creature 
 about a third her size. 
 
 A fat j have a secret to confide to you," she began. 
 
 secret. " It is about a man I once loved, and who has 
 played me false." 
 
 " Oh, he knows* all about it," she continued, 
 as she saw me look in surprise towards her hus- 
 band, " so I can speak freely. I loved him very 
 much, and I thought he loved me. Women are 
 weak, and I trusted him ; but he deceived me, 
 and ran away with my money, thousands of 
 pesetas. Can you tell me where he is ? " 
 
 I shook my head. 
 
 " Here is his photograph/' and she produced 
 with considerable tenderness the faded likeness 
 of a rakish individual enveloped in a Spanish 
 cloak. " It is like him, and if you cast your eye 
 across the seas you maybe able to recognize him."
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 155 
 
 I felt much inclined to laugh, but the earnest- 
 ness of the woman's manner prevented me. 
 
 " He went, I believe,to Manilla. Do you seehim 
 there ? Is he happy ? Is he alone ? Alone 
 ah ! senor, I can forgive him playing me false and 
 robbing me even ; but if I thought he loved an- 
 other woman " and her breath came short and 
 thick, and she clenched her hand in a manner 
 that boded ill for the errant lover should she 
 catch him with that other woman. 
 
 The husband sat the while in absolute silence ; 
 he had apparently become familiar with the 
 subject, and ceased to interest himself therein. 
 
 For my part, I really sympathized with the 
 woman's disappointment when I explained that 
 I could not be of the slightest assistance to her, 
 She, it appears, had counted upon my help, 
 and had come with a goodly roll of notes in her 
 pocket with which to remunerate me. 
 
 Did I think I could ever find out what she 
 wanted to know ? 
 
 No? 
 
 Not if she left the photograph, and I had time 
 to place myself en rapport with the original ? 
 
 No, I explained, the man's likeness was im- 
 pressed upon my memory, and that I was not 
 likely to forget him. I also expressed a hope 
 that he was living in single blessedness, doing 
 penance in sackcloth and ashes for his mis- 
 deeds. 
 
 This, at the best, was but sorry consolation ; 
 but the lady, on the principle, I suppose, that
 
 156 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 no news is good news, seemed to take heart 
 somewhat at the fact that even /, the advinador, 
 knew nothing whatever concerning her lover's 
 anticipated infidelity. And so she departed, 
 silently followed by her shadow-like husband. 
 l l th Jj ^ tne gay Lothario should read this, he will, 
 
 should => * 
 
 meet the I trust, be smitten with a becoming sense of 
 remorse, and not forget to mention in his prayers 
 the trusting lady whose heart and cash he de- 
 camped with, and whose one hope is that he is 
 still faithful to her memory. 
 
 Such generosity should touch the heart of a 
 bronze idol. 
 
 Sometimes the requests made to me are of a 
 touchingly pathetic nature, whilst many of them 
 are as tiresome as they are ridiculous. 
 
 As an instance of the latter. 
 
 Four years ago, when I was in Paris, a lady 
 haunted my hotel for the express purpose of 
 conferring with me in private upon " une affaire 
 trh serteuse." 
 
 She would neither give her name nor leave 
 an address so that she might be communicated 
 with, and it just happened that she invariably 
 called when I was either out or engaged, and 
 when one is the rage in Paris during the season, 
 one has but little spare time. 
 
 One day she called about six times. 
 
 "Was I in?" 
 
 " No, but madam was in ; would she see 
 madam ?" 
 
 " No ; she would see me alone."
 
 A Thought- Reader's ThougJits. 157 
 
 " That was difficult, as I was much engaged ; 
 would she leave a message ? " 
 
 " No, the matter was too serious for that ! " 
 
 " Would she write, asking for an appoint- 
 ment?" 
 
 " No, she would not write, but would prefer 
 taking her chance of seeing me." 
 
 " Very well," and the concierge bowed the 
 mysterious female out. 
 
 That evening we were dining at one of the 
 embassies, and I was rather late in coming home 
 to dress ; and as I entered my room I saw sitting A serious 
 complacently on the sofa a strange female. 
 
 My first thought was, Who is she ? How did 
 she get here ? which inward questioning she in- 
 stantly set right by telling me that she was the 
 lady who had called to see me upon a matter of 
 pressing importance. 
 
 I told her I had not a minute to spare, that I 
 was already late. 
 
 She begged a thousand pardons, assuring me 
 that it was really une affaire trcs serieuse, and 
 that it lay in my power to make her happy for 
 life. 
 
 " Well, madam, briefly, what is it ? " 
 
 " Oh, monsieur ! you can read the thoughts of 
 every one, cannot you read mine ? I am in 
 great trouble ! " 
 
 Her voice trembled, and in her apparent 
 misery I quite forgot how late I was, and 
 straightway inclined to give her a patient hear- 
 ing.
 
 158 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 
 
 Cher " Yes, monsieur, I am very miserable. A 
 
 Alphonse. we ek ago I lost my poor little Alphonse." 
 
 She said this so touchingly that I felt my eye 
 moisten. 
 
 " Can you find him for me ? " 
 " Find him," I replied, quite relieved to think 
 that her Alphonse was at least alive, " has he 
 
 run away 
 
 " No, he has been stolen." 
 
 " And have you no trace of him ? " 
 
 " No, I have sought for him everywhere, and 
 have offered rewards for his recovery, but as yet 
 without result, so, monsieur, I have come to you." 
 
 " I am afraid I cannot help you ; if I were 
 brought in contact with the person who actually 
 stole your child, or some one who knew where 
 he was, I might possibly be able to get at his 
 thoughts ; but " 
 
 " Supposing," she hastily broke in, " I brought 
 you face to face with the one I have my sus- 
 picions about, could you tell me if she were 
 guilty ; for it is a woman, and not a man that I 
 fear did it. But, monsieur, it is not my child 
 that I. have lost, although he was as much to me 
 as any child." Here she put her handkerchief 
 to her eyes. 
 
 " What, your husband ? " 
 
 " No, monsieur " (with just a faint blush), " I 
 am not married." 
 
 " Your fiance ? " 
 
 " Ah, no, monsieur " (with a still deeper blush) 
 " It was my dog."
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 159 
 
 " Your dog ? " 
 
 " Yes, a dear little fluffy yellow thing with a A dog 
 curly tail. Ou est mon cJier Alphonse ? " and ^riy^n 
 she wrung her hands piteously. 
 
 " Is that all ? " and I could barely restrain 
 myself from laughing outright. 
 
 " All ! " 
 
 What she" would have said further when she 
 had recovered from the astonishment caused by 
 my lack of sympathy, I really don't know ; but 
 providentially my wife, anxious about my being 
 late, came upstairs to see what was detaining 
 me, and my visitor beat a hasty retreat, whilst I, 
 struggling into my clothes, bemoaned my fate at 
 having lost so much time in listening to a silly 
 woman's story about a lost dog with a curly 
 tail. 
 
 In Spain the men, if not quite so superstitious Buried 
 
 . .. treasure, 
 as the women, are strongly inclined to a belief 
 
 in the mystical ; and not a few pressed me to 
 assist them in a clairvoyant sense. With some 
 the goal was a woman, with others wealth. 
 
 The number of people in Spain who believe 
 in the existence of buried treasure is simply 
 astonishing ; and according to the assertions of 
 those who applied to me for assistance, I might, 
 had I been able to see through a few feet of soil, 
 have been rich beyond the dreams of avarice. 
 For be it understood I was in each case to 
 receive the lion's share of the spoil, the believers 
 in hidden treasure being as a general thing as 
 magnanimous as they are sanguine. But then
 
 160 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 they can afford to be, for it is not often, if at all, 
 that their magnanimity is put to the test. 
 "Hidden treasure "has an aggravating knack 
 of remaining perdu in spite of the digging and 
 diving of sanguine man, and the clairvoyant 
 has yet to be born who can at will lay bare the 
 secret of its burial place. 
 
 Apropos of the generosity of Spaniards in 
 money-matters, the common folk are not the 
 open-hearted, good-natured spendthrifts that 
 some travellers have depicted them ; they are 
 invariably close-fisted unto meanness, and as 
 careful of their pesetas as a Scotchman is of his 
 bawbees. A Spanish peasant's idea is to do as 
 Spanish little work as possible for his pesetas, and when 
 frugality, he has got them to make them go as far as 
 possible ; and as long as there is a single coin 
 left in his pocket, he sees no necessity for doing 
 further work. Not that he is not industrious 
 in a way, but his industry is fitful and ill- 
 sustained, and his frugality is the natural out- 
 come of the struggle to make two ends meet 
 brought about by his love of idling. 
 
 Whilst the upper classes in Spain have the 
 character of being stiff-necked and overbearing, 
 the lower and middle classes are invariably 
 pictured as everything that is mirthful and light- 
 hearted. This, I think, is a mistake. They are 
 neither so gemiltJdicJi as the Austrians, nor so 
 comfortably good-tempered as the Germans ; 
 they have neither the happy-go-luckiness of the 
 Russians, the vivacity of the French, nor the
 
 A Thought- Re ader' s Thoughts. 161 
 
 fascinating gaiety of the Italians. They are, it 
 is true, full of a picturesque abandon with a dash 
 of gaiety thrown in, but the Moorish blood 
 that is in them makes them surly when they 
 should be good-tempered, and quarrelsome 
 when they should be beaming ,with good com- 
 radeship. 
 
 The love of amusement, however, is strongly 
 ingrained in their Moro- Iberian natures, and all 
 classes are easily amused. 
 
 I mean amused in its strictest English sense, 
 for your Spaniard has not the slightest desire to 
 be interested ; and as a matter of fact infinitely 
 prefers a feast of legs to a feast of reason. He 
 goes to the theatre or the opera for the fun of amuse- 
 the thing, and any manager who provides in- m 
 structive entertainments would very soon have 
 to close his doors. 
 
 What need indeed has a Spaniard of instruc- 
 tion ? What is there worth knowing that he 
 does not know ? For is he not the very salt 
 of the earth, the inhabitant of that country 
 which Adam on his return to earth alone found 
 so little changed since creation ; that country 
 which, as the proverb tells us, God if He were 
 not God would select as His temporal king- 
 dom. 
 
 There are some magnificent theatres in Spain, 
 many of them being finer by far than anything 
 we have in this country. The Teatro Real, the 
 Madrid Opera House, is a handsome building, 
 but it is not nearly so large as the Teatro del 
 
 M
 
 1 62 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Lirio, in Barcelona, which is said to be the 
 largest theatre in Europe. 
 
 During the season the Teatro Real is ex- 
 tensively patronized by the fashionable world of 
 Madrid, which goes there not so much to enjoy 
 the opera as to enjoy each other's society. For 
 society, which does not do much entertaining at 
 home, receives in its boxes at the theatre instead 
 of in its own salons. 
 
 ^ e wa * ts between the acts are in consequence 
 inordinately long, but long as they are, they as 
 a general thing seem to be all too short for the 
 habitues of the theatre ; for it is seldom that the 
 curtain rises, unless something of unusual im- 
 portance is being presented, to find more than 
 half the audience in its place ; and the shouts of 
 disapproval which invariably greet the ringing of 
 the bell unmistakably demonstrate the mood 
 of society interrupted in its small talk and pass- 
 ing flirtations. 
 
 The Spaniards are musical in their way, but 
 it cannot be said that they -really understand 
 what good music is, although they are not 
 slow to vociferously applaud what pleases 
 them, or to as loudly condemn what does not 
 take their fancy. But it is seldom that a 
 Spanish audience is unanimous, and whilst one 
 half may applaud, the other half may out of 
 pure cussedness condemn. Perhaps Spaniards 
 would appreciate music more highly if 
 they gave it more serious attention ; but, as I 
 have already said, the Madrilenos at least do
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 163 
 
 not attend the opera to listen to the diva, but to 
 sit at the feet of the senoras and senoritas, and 
 the composer who could compose an opera all 
 entr'actes would, I take it, be the most popular 
 man in Madrid. 
 
 A Spanish audience is only too often neither A Spanish 
 
 . . . T . . . . audience. 
 
 considerate nor just. It invariably views a per- 
 former in the light of a toro to be baited and 
 goaded at its pleasure. People for the greater 
 part, I am inclined to think, go to a theatre with 
 the desire that a performer shall fail, and they 
 are proportionately incensed when he presumes 
 to succeed ; success, therefore, frequently obtains 
 a chilling reception where failure on the I-told- 
 you-so principle is boisterously if ironically 
 received. It is a thankless task for an artist, if 
 he be a stranger, to perform before a Spanish 
 audience, for he is never certain of his position 
 or of their appreciation ; as likely as not when 
 he has done his best he is met with a storm of 
 hisses, and finds it difficult to get a hearing 
 during the remainder of the evening. There 
 may not be the slightest reason for such treat- 
 ment, but then Spaniards are oftener guided by 
 caprice and prejudice than by reason in their 
 actions. Women fare little or no better than 
 men ; and I have seen great female stars most 
 discourteously received on apparently no other 
 ground than that they were great stars, and that 
 they were not Spanish. Even Patti and Bern- 
 hardt did not altogether escape, and both of 
 these celebrated artistes undoubtedly retain 
 
 M 2
 
 164 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 amidst the recollection of their triumphs very 
 unfavourable impressions of the extreme rude- 
 ness with which they were received on more than 
 one occasion during their tour through the 
 Peninsula. 
 
 The Spaniards apparently reserve all their 
 acclamations for their own countrymen, and 
 they invariably receive home-bred stars with 
 unlimited enthusiasm. 
 
 Although the Spaniard has an inborn desire 
 to see the piper play, he does not care to pay 
 much for the piping. The theatres are, there- 
 fore, very low-priced, especially throughout the 
 south, where the best seats in the butacas 
 (equivalent to our stalls) can be had for three 
 The prices pesetas (2s. 6d.) each, whilst entrance to that 
 theatres, portion of the house reserved for the " gods," 
 the official term for which is Paraiso (Paradise), 
 is often as low as a perro grande. 
 
 The theatres, however, in their spaciousness 
 will hold considerable sums at even the moderate 
 prices current. Artists do not receive particu- 
 larly large fees in Spain, although the popular 
 violinist Sarasarte gets from 2000 francs upwards 
 per night, according to the size of the town, 
 whilst the still more popular tenor Gayarre not 
 infrequently receives as much as 12,500 francs 
 per night, but these fees are of course altogether 
 exceptional. 
 
 Liberality is not a leading trait with Spaniards, 
 who expect to get as much as possible for 
 nothing, and give as little as possible in return.
 
 A Thought- Readev^ s Thoughts. 165 
 
 Of this I had many striking instances whilst in 
 Spain ; whilst the unconcern with which people 
 relieved themselves of their obligations was 
 frequently worthy of the Heathen Chinee. A 
 Spaniard's word is not his bond, and he would 
 be a singularity optimistic and trustful person 
 who would in business-matters rely upon the 
 mere word of a Spaniard. 
 
 I am not a particularly trustful person, and I 
 have often been credited with knowing how to A 
 make a bargain, whilst I have a sort of notion Spaniard's 
 that I can read character as well as most men. w 
 I do not say this in a boastful spirit, but simply 
 as the sheer conviction of one who has made the 
 study of human nature the business of his life, 
 yet I on more than one occasion by placing 
 reliance on a Spaniard's word, was grievously 
 taken in. 
 
 For instance, I made a contract with a man 
 in Valencia to give a seance in his hall, but 
 who, when the day came round for paying the 
 guarantee, swore by all the saints that he had 
 made no contract, and that as a matter of fact he 
 had never even corresponded with me. Shown 
 the telegrams which had passed between us, he 
 professed utter ignorance of them, shown his 
 signature to the agreement, he emphatically 
 repudiated it, confronted with the witnesses to 
 the agreement, he denied on oath that he had 
 ever seen them. 
 
 I don't know how many candles it takes to 
 give the soul of an ordinary liar a fair chance of
 
 1 66 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 purging itself, but not all the candles manufac- 
 tured between this and eternity, and burnt with- 
 out ceasing, would to my thinking be of the 
 slightest use to so heavily weighted a soul as 
 that of this modern Ananias, who calls himself 
 a Christian. 
 
 I did not go to law with the fellow, as going 
 to law in Spain with a Spaniard is not a matter 
 that a foreigner, no matter how just his cause, 
 should lightly undertake ; but I believe my 
 secretary, a worldly young man of an irascible 
 temperament, soundly kicked him before he left 
 the town, and this perhaps did him more good 
 than calling in the aid of the law or leaving 
 money in my will to be spent in masses for the 
 repose of his soul. 
 
 In the course of my travels I had come across 
 people with whom truth was an utter stranger, 
 and who in a race for the lying championship 
 could have been heavily handicapped, but the 
 most paltry, unblushing and aggravating liar I 
 ever met was this said Valencian. 
 
 A A Spaniard as a rule has no idea of the 
 
 Spaniard's sanc tity of a contract, and will only observe it 
 contract, when it promises to turn out to his advantage, 
 whilst he will not hesitate to repudiate it, should 
 there be a prospect of his losing by it. The 
 Catalans are, however, far more business-like, 
 and there is a saying that what a Catalan puts 
 his signature to he will abide by ; but I fre- 
 quently found that even these shrewd, hard- 
 headed sons of Spain were quite' as dilatory hi
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 167 
 
 business-matters as their countrymen further 
 south. 
 
 This eternal putting off till to-morrow what 
 might just as well be done to-day, is so opposed 
 to our English notions of doing business, that 
 many an Englishman lacking the necessary time 
 and patience to put up with Spanish procrasti- 
 nation, has given up in disgust what might 
 eventually have commercially turned out to be a 
 very good thing. 
 
 Although I was not making a professional 
 tour of the Peninsula, I received countless offers 
 to give public representations, some of which 
 were as visionary as the proverbial Chateau en 
 Espagne, whilst it would, allowing for the native 
 loveof procrastination, have taken several seasons, 
 if not years, to have got through the remainder. 
 A Spaniard has no idea of time, and he can't for His idea 
 the life of him see why a representation arranged of time, 
 for to-morrow, cannot be given the next day or 
 the day after if he finds it more convenient to 
 put it off till then. He is prolific of excuses for 
 any breach of contract, and strongly resents any 
 imputation upon his honour ; for as he will 
 assure you he has, by shirking his responsibi- 
 lities, no intention of acting dishonourably, but 
 that he cannot be expected to carry out a thing 
 by which he might incur loss, neither can he be 
 held accountable for a foreigner's inability to 
 fulfil his portion of the contract a day, a week, 
 or a month after the day for which the arrange- 
 ment was made. He is in no hurry, why should
 
 1 68 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 an Englishman be in one ? In Spain one must 
 do as the Spaniards, and the fact that an Eng- 
 lishman wishes to do what he does in England 
 is no fault of his. 
 
 This remembering one is in Spain is a most im- 
 portant point, and unless a foreigner falls in with 
 Spanish ways, it is nigh impossible to have suc- 
 cessful business dealings with the natives. This 
 the Germans thoroughly understand, and that is 
 why they are more successful in their trade 
 relations with Spain than either the French or 
 the English. 
 
 I am not a patient man, and I frequently 
 found it difficult to put up with Spanish pro- 
 crastination ; and rather than dangle native 
 fashion on the tenter-hooks of expectation which 
 might never be realized, I often abandoned what 
 might eventually have proved highly lucrative 
 engagements. But it is worrying work making 
 terms with a Spaniard, and the novel excuses 
 for non-fulfilment of arrangements made would 
 in themselves make an entertaining chapter. 
 
 Here is a specimen. 
 
 An Whilst in Barcelona a wealthy banker ex- 
 
 ableman. P resse d a great desire to become my impresario, 
 and offered to arrange for a number of small 
 towns at 5O/. per night. His offer was agreeable, 
 and I decided to accept it. He professed to be 
 delighted at my acceptance, and named the 
 towns to be taken, and a day was fixed for the 
 signing of the contract. He was an honourable 
 man, and my secretary, who conducted the nego-
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 169 
 
 tiations, assured me that he would carry out the 
 agreement to the letter. But previous experi- 
 ence had made me doubtful of a Spaniard's 
 promises, no matter how honourable he might be ; 
 and I expressed my belief that when the hour 
 came for signing the contract, he would find 
 some excuse for backing out of it. 
 
 Well, the hour came, and we were assembled 
 in the reading-room of one of the principal 
 clubs. 
 
 The preliminaries having been got through, the 
 banker made a statement. 
 
 *' It would have given me great pleasure to 
 have gone on this tour with the Senor," said he, 
 " not that I had the remotest idea of making 
 money out of it, but merely for the honour of 
 being associated with one so distinguished ; but 
 my health will I fear, after all, forbid my making 
 the journey ? " 
 
 " Your health ? " said my secretary in surprise, 
 " why, what's the matter with you ? You look 
 well enough." 
 
 " Ah, yes ! " he replied with a sigh ; " but it is A delicate 
 
 ,, 1*1 i matter, 
 
 here ; and he put his hand on his capacious 
 
 stomach. 
 
 " It forbids my making the arrangement I had 
 intended/' 
 
 " It, what it ? " 
 
 " Why, my Solitaria? 
 
 In an instant we were convulsed with laughter, 
 whilst the unfortunate banker became red and 
 confused.
 
 170 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 " But," I asked, " why didn't you think of this 
 before ? " 
 
 " I did ; but to-day the Solitaria is more 
 troublesome than usual, and requires careful 
 dieting ; and I feel that I ought not to under- 
 take the matter." 
 
 And so the arrangement fell through. 
 
 I did not give many representations in Spain, 
 
 but they, with the exception of one or two given 
 
 in Andalusia in Lent, were highly remunerative, 
 
 Barcelona alone realizing several hundred 
 
 A first pounds. The first audience I had in Barcelona, 
 
 mght m was about the most uproarious I ever appeared 
 -Barcelona. 
 
 before during the whole of my career. The 
 direction had doubled and in some instances 
 trebled the ordinary prices, and this the public, 
 which filled every corner of the theatre, resented 
 on me ; not that they wished to be discourteous 
 to me, but that they thought it the most effective 
 way of marking their disapproval of the policy 
 adopted by the management. It was, I was in- 
 formed, usual in such cases, and that Madame 
 Bernhardt received precisely the same treatment. 
 The great actress had, I believe, the curtain in- 
 dignantly lowered upon the malcontents, but I 
 thought it best to face the storm, and eventually 
 matters righted themselves, and at the conclusion 
 of my experiments I was most enthusiastically 
 cheered. This occurrence gave rise to much sen- 
 sational telegraphing on the part of an imagina- 
 tive correspondent of a Madrid newspaper ; and 
 on the principle that a lie will travel leagues
 
 A Thought' Reader's Thoiights. \ 7 1 
 
 whilst good old truth is putting on her boots, it 
 was not till days after that people generally 
 knew that instead of having been hung, drawn 
 and quartered, I, to use an Americanism, had 
 most emphatically "caught on." 
 
 I don't know how much this said corre- 
 spondent was paid for his telegrams, but I should 
 say, considering that not a single line contained 
 a solitary word of truth, that the amount received 
 would be wholly inadequate to purchase any- 
 thing like absolution for his guilt. 
 
 Whilst the people of both sexes extensively 
 patronize the opera, the theatre and the circus, 
 the bull-fight, after all, is the only form of enter- 
 tainment in which the nation at large really 
 takes a deep interest. 
 
 People who have not visited Spain can form 
 no idea of the excitement which pervades all 
 classes on the day of a bull-fight. 
 
 A relic of the Moors, it has survived every J h , e bull> 
 
 3 fight. 
 
 other thing Moorish, and, although some of the 
 best bull-fights undoubtedly take place in 
 Madrid, Moorish Andalusia is to this day the 
 head- quarters of the tauromachian art. There, 
 in the sunny south, the "picadores" the " ban- 
 derilleros " and the " matadores " are born and 
 trained in their art. 
 
 Bull-fights have been so frequently and 
 minutely described that it would be next to im- 
 possible to throw any fresh light on the subject ; 
 but many pages could still be written upon the 
 philosophical aspects of the fiestas.
 
 172 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 The scene, however picturesque and exciting, 
 is a brutalizing and a degrading one, yet men 
 bring their wives, their sisters, and their daugh- 
 ters, and the mothers carry their babes at their 
 breasts and lead their little " toddles " by the hand 
 to this carnival of blood. It is little wonder, 
 therefore, that the Spanish character is pitiless 
 and devoid of generous instincts. 
 
 In the old chivalrous days, when knights, 
 single-handed and armed only with a short 
 spear, the national weapon of Iberia, contended in 
 the Plaza de Toros in honour of some beloved 
 mistress, there was something more than vulgar 
 daring in the scene. 
 
 The modern bull-fight has not only lost every 
 aspect of chivalry, but it is a degenerate affair as 
 compared with the Fiestas de Toros of the past. 
 In place of knights of gentle blood, mounted on 
 magnificent chargers, daring the bull to single 
 combat all for a woman's smile, we have coarse, 
 \\\-\)redpicadores t bandaged and encased so as to 
 receive no hurt themselves, mounted on wretched 
 hacks hardly able to drag one leg after the other. 
 In ancient days it was to the fleetness of the barb 
 he bestrode and his skill in manoeuvring him by 
 which the chevalier avoided the tords charge. 
 Now, the wretched, used-up horses are provided 
 for the sole purpose of the fierce beast tiring 
 himself on in order to make less dangerous the 
 task of the banderilleros and the espada, who 
 would otherwise doubtless hesitate facing him. 
 
 A more revolting sight than this goring of the
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 173 
 
 horses it would be impossible to conceive, and Pity the 
 whilst both spectators and toreros are indifferent horses. 
 to the agonizing squeals of the mangled animal, 
 a wave of profound sympathy goes round the 
 entire ring if the fallen picador is in the slightest 
 danger, and the chulos, who have remained ad- 
 miring witnesses of the disembowelling of the 
 horse, quickly rush to the spot and deftly draw 
 off the bull with their gaily-coloured cloaks. 
 
 The Spaniard revels in this rcalitt atroce, and 
 he would undoubtedly be highly incensed against 
 the bull if he omitted any portion of the goring 
 act. Each bull is expected to behave well, 
 although, no matter how brave its conduct, it is 
 condemned to die in the arena which it enters 
 for the first and last time. If it makes a des- 
 perate resistance before the death-blow is dealt, 
 it has the honour of dying covered with the 
 profound admiration of the entire audience ; but HOW a 
 if the poor brute does not see the fun of beingr ]? ad bul1 
 
 & fares. 
 
 goaded and " banderilleroed" and attempts to leap 
 the tablas, the cry of Bravo, toro ! Viva, toro / is 
 changed into yells of execration. He is beaten 
 with sticks and generally anathematized, in the 
 course of which all sorts of unkind things are 
 said about his mother and his female relations. 
 P^ventually the order goes forth that he must die, 
 and he is accordingly unceremoniously stabbed 
 in the spine, and amidst a running fire of curses 
 the unfortunate cabestro, i.e. tame ox, as he is 
 dubbed, is ignominiously dragged out by the 
 gaily ornamented mules.
 
 174 -A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 With a good bull the audience is exceedingly 
 particular as to how it receives its death-blow, 
 which is dealt by the espada after the picadores 
 and the banderilleros have had their innings. 
 Punctilious in most things, the Spaniards are 
 never more scrupulously so than in this matter, 
 for by the rules of the ring the bull must stand 
 in a certain position when the espada drives his 
 sword into its spine. It often takes some time to 
 get the bull to stand in the position required, 
 and the assembly, if kept waiting too long, 
 loudly signify their impatience, whilst the espada 
 would be roundly imprecated if he, desirous of 
 bringing affairs to a close, made his thrust prior 
 to the attainment of the position demanded. 
 
 A first-class matador 3 is the hero of the people^ 
 being far more popular than the most fatherly 
 monarch or the wisest minister ; men throw 
 them their purses, and women surrender them 
 their hearts. He is generally illiterate, although 
 the celebrated Mazzatini is, I believe, an educated 
 man, and, outside of his profession, densely ig- 
 orant ; frequently handsome, yet brutal, vulgar 
 and grossly sensual, yet he is the people's idol, 
 whom not even Mother Church could dethrone 
 if she tried her hardest. 
 
 3 The Matadores are of the lowest caste, being prin- 
 cipally butchers, and they have always been looked upon 
 as persons without any claim whatever to the " purity of 
 blood " which the well-born alone possess ; but nous 
 avons change tout cela, for only the other day a court of 
 honour sitting at the Velos Club in Madrid decided that 
 a matador could issue and accept challenges to fight duels 
 in order to clear his honour.
 
 A Thought- Reader' s Thoughts. 175 
 
 These Matadores amass large fortunes, al- A bull-- 
 though they idle half the year ; and, whilst w f aith." 
 authors, painters, musicians and literary folk 
 generally experience a difficulty in keeping body 
 and soul together, these artistic butchers live a 
 life of splendid profligacy with the incense of 
 public adoration all around them. 
 
 All thinking men in Spain must deplore the 
 fact that whilst music and the drama languish 
 and literature positively starves, these brutaliz- 
 ing exhibitions have such a deep root in the 
 public fancy. It has been said that a man would 
 readily sacrifice his honour and a woman her 
 virtue in order to be able to purchase a ticket 
 for a bull-fight. 
 
 It is, I think, only a Spaniard who can really 
 enjoy a bull-fight, which appeals with such 
 irresistible force to all that is evil in him. Be- 
 neath the glaring sun, and with the blood of 
 dying bullocks and tortured horses staining the 
 sand of the arena, he finds himself in his proper 
 element, and the passionate cruel nature of the 
 Arab reigns triumphant. 
 
 The Anglo-Saxon stranger, whilst he may be 
 momentarily carried away byj the multitude's 
 enthusiasm, and feel something of its admiration 
 for the agility and skill displayed by the toreros, 
 can never get the sight of the horse's quivering 
 entrails out of his eyes, and the bull's piteous 
 bellow out of his ears. The picturesqueness of 
 the scene, with the balconies crowded with 
 lovely women fan in hand and gracefully ar-
 
 1 76 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 ranged mantillas covering the jet-like blackness 
 of their hair ; the men in their Roman cloaks ; 
 the dignified and stately grandees in the Presi- 
 dential box, and the medley of colour and rags 
 of the seething populace below are almost en- 
 tirely lost upon him. His better nature revolts 
 
 One's 
 
 sympathy not only at the horrors of the ring, but at the 
 
 for the heartlessness with which the people receive 
 bull. 
 
 those horrors. In his love of fair-play his whole 
 
 sympathy is with the toro, and not the torero ; 
 and he almost finds himself wishing that the 
 bull will get an opportunity of getting even 
 with his tormentors. The Spaniard has no 
 sense of fair-play : it is blood he wants, blood 
 he has paid his money to see, and he entirely 
 fails to understand that there is any sort of 
 cruelty or unfairness in the manner in which the 
 details are carried out, and the inherent ferocity 
 within him is gratified. 
 
 But it must not be forgotten that Spaniards 
 are as indifferent to human as to animal suffer- 
 ings, and that in no country in Europe is a 
 man's life set so little store by as in Spain. 
 
 The want of fair-play which is so apparent at 
 the arena, and at the theatre, is characteristic of 
 The way a the lower-class Spaniards in all things : if a 
 rival or an enemy is to be stabbed, the stabbing 
 is almost sure to be done in the back. " Why 
 face the man and run the risk of being killed 
 yourself when you can without danger do it effec- 
 tively from behind ?" the stabber would argue, 
 and the public would be with him to a man.
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 177 
 
 " The language, costume, habits, and local 
 character of the nation," says Ford, in his cele- 
 brated handbook to Spain, " vary no less than 
 the climate and productions of the soil." This 
 is no doubt true ; but all the Spaniards in the 
 matter of untrustworthiness as well as of dilato- 
 riness, to which I have already referred, are very 
 much alike. There are of course exceptions, 
 and you mark their names in red. In Catalonia 
 you find a people hard-working and intelligent 
 although exceedingly grasping and suspicious. 
 They differ entirely from the swarthy, indolent 
 Andaluz, both as regards moral character and 
 business capacity. They are better read 
 than any other people of Spain, and they are 
 liberal patrons of music and the Drama. The The 
 Catalans are given to travel, and consequently Catalans. 
 know something of other countries. Being so 
 close to France, they are very French in many 
 of their ways, especially in the matter of thrift. 
 Enterprising and possessed of big ideas, the 
 Catalans have practically freed themselves of 
 the narrow bigotry which weighs so heavily 
 upon their more superstitious countrymen. 
 Barcelona is a city of which the Catalans may 
 be justly proud, it is far richer than Madrid, 
 and although only the capital of a province, it is 
 worthy of being the capital of a kingdom. 
 
 The Catalans are keen men of business, and 
 know how to strike a bargain, and there are 
 instances, I am assured, where they have been 
 known to fulfil a disadvantageous contract 
 
 N
 
 178 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 when the agreement has been in writing ; but 
 whether they would have done so had there 
 been no written agreement, I do not pretend to 
 say. 
 
 The Catalans speak a language of their own, 
 although the educated folk perfectly understand 
 " Castillano." 
 
 TheValen- Their next-door neighbours, the Valencians, 
 cmns. are people of a different stamp. Valencia is 
 the home of decayed nobles and decaying 
 palaces ; it is neither enterprising nor industrious, 
 is very antiquated in its ideas, and an abject 
 slave to superstition. The people in society are 
 kindly and hospitable, and although they seldom 
 ask you to their houses, they strive to make you 
 perfectly at home at their clubs. The middle- 
 class Valencian is cunning and deceitful, and 
 no sensible man would think of trusting him 
 very far. 
 
 The lower classes are gay and pleasure- 
 loving, but are said to be cruel and vindictive. 
 Valencia the city is an interesting place and 
 would be more so if the massive bridges, of 
 which it is so exceedingly proud, spanned water 
 instead of mud and refuse. 4 
 
 4 Apropos of Spanish rivers, the volume of water in 
 the principal ones has undoubtedly considerably dimi- 
 nished since the Moorish period, and still continues to 
 diminish ; so that some of them which were navigable 
 are so no longer. Some of the rivers have quitted their 
 channels during a period of flood, and massive bridges 
 span from bank to bank, to show you where the river had 
 been, whilst on the spot where there should be a bridge 
 there is none. The country people frequently use the
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 179 
 
 It has been said that Europe commences 
 only at the Pyrenees, a statement which is more 
 caustic than correct ; for there is little of the 
 Arab element in what geographers call the 
 Cantabrian portion of the Peninsula, which 
 includes the Basque provinces, the Asturias, 
 Gallicia, and portions of Catalonia, Arragon 
 and Navarre, where the people, who are for the 
 most part industrious, frugal, and brave, are 
 white enough to satisfy the most fastidious. 
 On the other hand, I think one would be fully 
 justified in saying that Africa did not end at 
 the Straits of Gibraltar, for throughout all An- 
 dalucia the trail of the Arab is distinctly visible. The trail 
 It is to Andalucia, to Seville, Cordova, Malaga, 
 Cadiz, and Granada, and to the many other 
 cities of interest, that the tourist wends his way, 
 so that the travelled Englishman will be more 
 familiar with the character of the Andalucians 
 than that of the people of any other province 
 in Spain. Who, in fact, does not know or read 
 of Andalucia, the land of mirth and music, of 
 women and wine, of Moorish ruins and monu- 
 ments, of mother Church, of dark-frocked priest 
 and gay-tuniced matador, of proud grandee and 
 
 bed of a river, which is generally as dry as a bone in 
 summer, as a high-road, and as a waterway in the flush 
 season, the luxury of a separate highway being in many 
 parts unknown. The artificial canal system is wholly 
 inadequate for the country's requirements; and in the 
 Valencian district the system of irrigation is that of the 
 Moors, the latter-day Spaniard being too indolent or too 
 impoverished to either improve or repair it. 
 
 N 2
 
 180 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 servile beggar ; the land of the orange and the 
 fig, the melon and the grape, who does not 
 know bright, light-hearted, improvident Anda- 
 lucia ? 
 
 What need is there indeed of any description ? 
 What strikes the visitor on making the round of 
 the Peninsula is the jealousy and distrust one 
 province appears to have of another. There is 
 little national feeling in Spain, each man's heart 
 being in his own province, which in reality is his 
 La Patria. country. " La Patria " with a Spaniard is a mere 
 figure of speech, and although he is never weary 
 of extolling the beauties of his Espafia, which of 
 course is the first and only country under the 
 sun, 5 I question very much whether even in a time 
 of common danger, Andalucians and Catalans, 
 Valencians and Gallicians, Castilians and Bis- 
 cayans would put their backs together and 
 forget ancient rivalries or private interests for 
 the general good. 
 
 Although the railway has done much to bring 
 the people of the various provinces together, 
 they still politically and socially have little in 
 common with each other. In another genera- 
 tion the petty jealousies and the ancient dis- 
 trust of one another may be gotten over, but, as 
 it is, the Spains, although bound together in 
 union, are far from being a united family. 
 
 Politically speaking, the Basque Provinces and 
 
 5 A well-known Spanish proverb says : " Quien dice 
 Expand^ dice todo " " Whoever says Spain, says every- 
 thing."
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 181 
 
 the northern portions of Spain generally are 
 still loyal to the Carlist idea : Catalonia is sup- 
 posed to be the nursery of Republicanism, whilst 
 Andalucia undoubtedly favours the ex-Queen 
 Isabella II. The Queen Regent's cause would 
 appear to be strongest in the empire provinces 
 of New and Old Castile, but her wisdom and 
 many virtues have considerably impressed the 
 long-headed Catalans, and they for the moment 
 seem to be content that is, as content as a 
 naturally politically discontented people can be 
 with the present form of government. 
 
 In a country where, as the proverb says, 
 nothing is certain except death, the present is no 
 guide to the future, and one can only hope but 
 cannot tell what the future of Spain will be. In 
 this land of Manana mistakes, unpunctualities, 
 political corruption and a thousand other things 
 that we in sober England would not tolerate 
 for a moment, are accepted as a matter of 
 course. 
 
 Everything is upside down in Spain : to-day 
 is to-morrow, and to-morrow is well, goodness 
 knows when. Grown-up men with the gravity 
 of sphinxes often act like children. With both 
 sexes impulse and accident are invariably the 
 motive powers which guide their actions. 
 
 A Spaniard is made up of contraries ; and as a 
 matter of fact his " yes " means " no," and conse- 
 quently he feels aggrieved when he is reproached 
 by a stranger who has taken him at his word. 
 
 A Spaniard is a good-enough fellow when
 
 1 82 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 you know him, but you have got to know him 
 first; and the fault that we all make is judging 
 him from a European instead of from an Eastern 
 standpoint. For, although he may wear a Paris- 
 made hat instead of a turban, he is more fre- 
 quently than not a thorough-going Oriental, 
 having all the Oriental's hatred of being hurried 
 with not a little of his stiff-necked prejudices 
 and unreasoning fatalism. 
 
 I have tried to view the Spaniards as they 
 are ; and, without looking at them through 
 rose-coloured spectacles, have endeavoured to 
 be just and impartial in all that I have written. 
 Some people will probably be found to disagree 
 with me, having viewed them otherwise ; but one 
 can only judge people by one's own experience 
 and opportunities of observation ; and this is 
 what I have done. 
 
 The future Emancipated from the serfdom of supersti- 
 tion, and rid of her old-fashioned prejudices, there 
 should be a considerable future for Spain, which 
 is naturally a remarkably rich country by no 
 means fully developed. Nature has been most 
 lavish of her gifts both in the matter of soil and 
 climate ; but ever since the expulsion of the 
 Moors, the natives have, by their indolence and 
 systematic neglect, done all that within them lay 
 to counteract Nature's influence. 
 
 But a new era is, I firmly believe, dawning 
 upon Spain ; and under the influence of foreign 
 enterprise there is every possibility of the 
 country's further development. Bilbao and
 
 A Thought- Re ader* s Thoughts. 183 
 
 Barcelona are marvellous examples of what the 
 foreigner has brought or has caused to be 
 brought about ; for the native is keen enough 
 in following the lead where wealth is the prize. 
 All he wants is to be shown how to proceed, and 
 he will follow quickly enough; but he is, as a 
 rule, too timorous on the one hand and too con- 
 servative on the other to take the original risk 
 called for by any fresh enterprise. 
 
 Historians tell us that during Spain's occu- 
 pancy by the Romans and the Moors, no one 
 was idle, and nothing was left undeveloped ; in 
 the peaceful invasion of the Briton, the Teuton, 
 and the Gaul, history promises to repeat itself, 
 the future making up for the four centuries of 
 culpable neglect. 
 
 Spain has shown no greater improvement 
 than the effective way in which she has put 
 down lawlessness, the interior now being as safe 
 for travel as any other European country, 
 despite the fact that Prince Albert Victor was, 
 a few months back, prevented from going from 
 Gibraltar to Seville overland, on account of the 
 alleged unsafeness of the road ; but it may be 
 that what is safe for ordinary travellers, is the 
 reverse for princes of the blood royal. 
 
 The terrible Spanish banditti have entirely 
 disappeared, and, if the country continues to be 
 firmly governed, they are not likely to re- 
 appear. 
 
 But although the " Ladron en grande" as he is 
 grandiloquently called, is a being of the past,
 
 184 A Thought' Reader *s Thoughts. 
 
 Official minor robbers, especially amongst the official 
 corrup- classes, are only too numerous. Every empleado 
 feels himself perfectly justified in defrauding the 
 government ; for, as he will explain, he is 
 wretchedly and often irregularly paid, and the 
 example set him by his chief is not conducive to 
 honesty. Corruption and jobbery are almost as 
 prevalent in official circles in Spain as in Russia 
 and the East. 
 
 Until quite recently this official corruption 
 was so universal that the guilt of the offence 
 was not admitted ; but so loud has the public 
 outcry become, that the government have been 
 forced to take steps towards eradicating the 
 evil, especially in connection with the postal 
 department. There is no certainty about the 
 delivery of ordinary letters in Spain, but this 
 uncertainty is considerably increased in the 
 matter of registered letters containing money : 
 in fact so serious have the peculations become, 
 that inquiries have been instigated with the 
 result that many prominent post-office employes 
 have been proved to have been connected with 
 a systematic scheme of robbery and fraud. 
 Train Even registered luggage is by no means safe, 
 
 robbers. f or the train conductor who is only too often a 
 " ratero" at heart has a fine scent for packages 
 containing valuables. 
 
 About a year back, Viscount Newport, whilst 
 travelling with Lord Rowton and Lord Claude 
 Hamilton from Seville to Madrid, had his des- 
 patch box cut open, and some diamond studs,
 
 A Thought -Reader's Thoughts. 185 
 
 valued at ioo/., extracted therefrom, whilst I, 
 who was a passenger by the same train, lost an 
 antique silver-mounted stick, a gift of the High 
 Priest of the Parsees in Poona. 
 
 Lord Newport has not yet, I believe, recovered 
 his studs, in spite of the efforts of our energetic 
 ambassador, whilst my stick, needless to say, has 
 not been returned to its rightful owner, although 
 the police assured me in all seriousness at 
 the time that I would undoubtedly receive it 
 maiiana. 6 
 
 fi The Standard of June i ith, 1888, gives the following 
 account of the pillaging of the Duchess of Edinburgh's 
 luggage. It will thus be seen that the ratero is not a 
 respecter of persons ; and that he robs an Imperial High- 
 ness, a noble lord, or a poor thought-reader with equal 
 impartiality: 
 
 " Late to-night, El Resmnen, one of the Madrid news- 
 papers, published a telegram stating that between 
 Granada and Cordova the luggage of the Duchess of 
 Edinburgh was robbed. In the train the thieves opened, 
 without breaking the fastening, a portmanteau, from 
 which they took a pair of diamond earrings, and a 
 medallion inlaid with brilliants. The luggage belonging 
 to the servants was also opened and rifled. The robbers 
 have not been discovered.''
 
 1 86 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 
 ALTHOUGH inhabitants of the same peninsula 
 and in parts there is a difficulty in telling where 
 ThePortu- Spain ends and Portugal begins the Portuguese 
 Spaniards are quite a different race from the Spaniards, 
 contrasted. The difference is not only in the language, the 
 physique, and national costume, but in the general 
 characteristics of the two peoples. The Por- 
 tuguese are far more pushing and business-like 
 than the Spaniards, and they altogether lack 
 their neighbours' quiet dignity. They have 
 neither the Spaniard's faith, nor his superstitions, 
 neither his inborn conservatism, nor his love of 
 procrastination, but, at the same time, they are 
 rarely his equals in good manners. A Spaniard 
 is formally polite, a Portuguese is not ; a 
 Spaniard says much and will probably mean 
 nothing, whilst a Portuguese who may probably 
 mean much will not take the trouble to say any- 
 thing. A Spaniard's promise generally ends in 
 smoke, whilst that of a Portuguese can invari- 
 ably be relied upon. With a Spaniard the Por- 
 tuguese are always canaille, whilst with the 
 Portuguese the Spaniard is a mere idle dreamer, 
 nothing more.
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 187 
 
 For thought-reading purposes I prefer the 
 Spaniard to the Portuguese ; for whilst the 
 former is harder to move and more sluggish in 
 his thoughts, the latter is often too sceptical to 
 be fair, and too self-opinionated to be convinced ; 
 but in business-matters the Portuguese is far 
 more trustworthy than the Spaniard. 
 
 I made but one contract whilst I was in 
 Portugal, and that was carried ^out strictly to the 
 letter. 
 
 The Portuguese women, whilst by no means 
 the equals of the Spanish women in regard to 
 grace and good looks, are, as a general thing, 
 intellectually their superiors. But Lisbon 
 society is not so interesting as that of Madrid, 
 and there is even less entertaining done in the 
 Portuguese than in the Spanish capital. 
 
 The King, who lives at the Pac.o d'Ajuda, some 
 two or three miles outside the city, is a frequent 
 visitor to the Opera House, where, as in Madrid, 
 society most does congregate. 
 
 On the 1 5th of February of last year, I, at 
 the request of his Majesty, visited the palace, 
 where I was received with marked considera- 
 tion. 
 
 I was first presented to the king, who shook 
 me warmly by the hand, and, after some minutes' 
 conversation, took me into his private apartments, 
 and presented me to the queen and the Don 
 Alfonso. 
 
 The king is one of the most scholarly The King 
 
 } of Por- 
 
 monarchs I have met, and certainly the best tugal.
 
 1 88 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 linguist. He speaks English, French, Italian, 
 Spanish, Portuguese, German, and I think 
 Swedish fluently, and he has translated Shake- 
 speare into Portuguese. The queen does not 
 speak English, and the conversation with her 
 Majesty was carried on in French ; but the 
 Crown Prince, the Crown Princess, and the Don 
 Alfredo, all speak English perfectly. 
 
 The king is a most lovable man, and the 
 two hours I spent with him are amongst the 
 most enjoyable within my recollection. His 
 Majesty was full of information, and he kindly 
 showed me many things of interest in his apart- 
 ments, which were strewn with souvenirs of 
 illustrious personages, relieving himself of many 
 interesting and frequently amusing anecdotes 
 the while. His Majesty is a good raconteur, 
 and his dry way of telling a story is most 
 effective. 
 
 His Majesty is a great smoker ; and he is 
 scarcely ever without a cigar in his mouth. He 
 is a great reader, too, and the amount of litera- 
 ture he devours in a day is something appalling ; 
 but it is just this that makes him one of 
 the best read and best informed monarchs in 
 Europe. 
 
 A kinder-hearted man, nor one more anxious 
 to do at all times the right thing, than Don Luis 
 never sat upon a throne. With no showy gifts 
 and of modest appearance, he, with his sterling 
 good qualities, has managed to endear himself to 
 his democratic subjects, whilst those about him,
 
 A Thoiight- Reader's Thoughts. 189 
 
 knowing his personal worth, love him as but few 
 monarchs in this prosaic nineteenth century have 
 ever been loved. 
 
 The queen is a woman of strong individuality, Th e Queen 
 and her influence is felt far beyond the Court tugal. 
 circles. Her Majesty's manner is in direct con- 
 trast to that of the king's, being somewhat cold 
 and reserved. Of an inquiring mind, her 
 Majesty is an excellent listener, and she followed 
 with interest my explanation of the theory of 
 thought-reading, whilst the experiments I had 
 the honour of performing excited her earnest 
 attention. At first I did not find her Majesty 
 a good " subject," but that was because she set 
 her will against mine and the will of her 
 Majesty, the Queen of Portugal, is not a thing 
 lightly overcome but eventually, when her 
 Majesty found that the conditions of success 
 entailed her thinking with me and not against 
 me, I got on with her exceedingly well. 
 
 The most striking experiment consisted in A striking 
 finding an unnamed object thought of by her ment?" 
 Majesty, which object turned out to be a por- 
 trait of her brother, the Prince Amadeus. The 
 portrait was in a drawer, and to get at it I had 
 firstly to unlock the drawer, and then to select 
 the particular portrait thought of from out of a 
 packet of other photographs. It was but the work 
 of a few moments, and the quickness with which 
 I performed the experiment was entirely owing 
 to her Majesty's perfect concentration of 
 thought.
 
 190 A Thought -Readers Thoughts. 
 
 Her Majesty is very unemotional and alto- 
 gether undemonstrative ; and whilst the people 
 about the court were most excited over the ex- 
 periment, her Majesty was as calm and collected 
 as if nothing whatever had happened. 
 
 " Cest extraordinaire" she remarked casually 
 turning to the king, and said no more. 
 
 The king, for fixedness of purpose and down- 
 right straightforward thinking, ranks as one of 
 my best " subjects." With him I did not have 
 a single hitch, although in the course of the 
 afternoon I tried some very complicated experi- 
 ments. 
 
 The one that interested his Majesty most was 
 the discovery of a name and date upon which 
 he had concentrated his thought. The name 
 was Maria, and the date 1855 ; and I, holding 
 his Majesty by the hand, wrote them down on 
 a piece of paper without the slightest hesita- 
 tion. 
 
 ThePortu- Just as I was taking my leave of their 
 Premier. Majesties, the Prime Minister, Snr. Jose Luciano 
 de Castro, came in for an audience with the 
 king ; and his Majesty asked me if I would 
 try my hand at reading his thoughts, the thoughts 
 of Senhor Castro, according to his political oppo- 
 nents being extremely difficult to read. 
 
 The Premier made up his mind, and I com- 
 menced operations. 
 
 I made a dash across the room and then 
 suddenly paused, feeling that my subject did 
 not wish me to proceed any further. Then we
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 191 
 
 pirouetted round a chair, I having the impression 
 that I was to take hold of it, and lift it 
 up whilst the Premier was apparently doing 
 all in his power to prevent my doing so. And *" a 
 
 dilemma. 
 
 so we slid about the floor in a state of wearisome 
 uncertainty, the thoughts of my subject going to 
 the chair, and his hand restraining me from 
 taking it up. Presently in the midst of our 
 gyrations I heard the rustle of a dress, and the 
 movement of feet away from where we were ; 
 and in another moment I had seized the chair 
 and was brandishing it above our heads. 
 
 This was my "subject's" thought, and his 
 hesitation arose from the fact that after thinking 
 of the chair, he saw the Queen move towards it 
 as if to sit down ; and under the circumstances 
 he was naturally anxious not to disturb it ; and 
 it was only when her Majesty moved away from 
 the chair that he allowed me to carry out his 
 original intention. 
 
 The Premier is an exceedingly shrewd and 
 well-informed man, but unlike his two daughters, 
 who are excellent linguists, he does not speak 
 English. 
 
 The Disentailment Act has ruined many of 
 the old Portuguese families, and their historic 
 chateaux are either crumbling to pieces in the 
 hands of those who have inherited them, or are 
 passing into the possession of the Noveaux 
 Riches. 
 
 The most interesting of these chateaux, still 
 retaining all the features of its ancient grandeur,
 
 192 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 The is Benefica, the seat of the Marquis Fronteira, a 
 
 Marquis fe w m jj es outside the capital. The Marquis, 
 
 Fronteira 
 
 at Bene- who at one time was in the British Navy, has 
 the appearance of an English country gentle- 
 man, and he speaks English like an English- 
 man. 
 
 It is a lovely place this Benefica, with its 
 terraces and gardens, its fish-ponds and 
 shrubberies, its statues and statuettes, moss- 
 covered and stained by the hand of Time, 
 with the fountains playing in the cool of the 
 evening, and the soft notes of the nightingales 
 coming on the thyme-laden air from the groves 
 beyond. 
 
 Standing on the balcony in the midst of this 
 earthly paradise with its aspect of old-worldism, 
 one forgets all the cares and troubles of these 
 bustling days and is in fancy carried back to 
 the period of Portugal's greatness. The gardens 
 are filling with gallant folk, great nobles, and 
 lovely women, brave soldiers tanned by Eastern 
 suns, and weather-beaten sailors with an eagle 
 look in their intrepid dark eyes. On the terrace 
 walks an Archbishop in deep converse with a 
 Minister of State, and behind them comes a 
 handsome grand dame, her train held up by a 
 Adream of negro page. Indian-mounted jewels sparkle and 
 the past. flash in the sunlight, and the air is full of the 
 intoxicating perfumes of the east. 
 
 An ape from the top of his pole is tearing 
 open an orange, and scattering the golden peel 
 on the grass beneath. White turbanned Indians
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 193 
 
 with bootless feet are gliding here and there 
 with chocolate and rare confections, whilst the 
 sound of music strikes the ear. 
 
 And so I was picturing the past when a hand 
 fell heavily on my shoulder, and the cheery voice 
 of the Marquis said, 
 
 " Well, chevalier, what are you dreaming of 
 the past ? Ah, we all dream here." 
 
 The music ceased, the knights and dames, 
 soldiers and courtiers, with their silks and satins 
 and richly bejewelled persons, disappeared in a 
 flash ; and I was brought back to the reality of 
 the present. 
 
 " Dreams," continued the Marquis, " they are 
 about all that are left to us. The old families 
 in their remembrance of the past forget the 
 present, and give no thought to the future whilst 
 their houses tumble about their ears and new 
 people come and take their place. When the 
 property descended from father to son we could 
 at least keep our houses together ; but now that 
 the property has to be divided up, not one of the 
 family is in himself wealthy enough to keep up 
 the family seat ; and as a rule it either falls into 
 decay or passes into the hands of others." 
 
 With regard to Benefica the case is different, 
 for the Marquis of Fronteira being a rich man 
 without children, he can keep up his estate as it 
 should be kept up. 
 
 Much of Lisbon society is composed of new 
 blood, and people hold titles which were un- 
 known a century ago, whilst many of the hold- 
 
 O
 
 194 -^ Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 ers of old titles have acquired them by marriage 
 and not by descent. 
 
 Portu- The Portuguese glory in exceedingly long 
 
 names. names ; for in addition to those which th.eir god- 
 fathers and godmothers give them, they levy 
 contributions on the names of their ancestors on 
 both the maternal and paternal sides, and not 
 infrequently when they marry tack on a portion of 
 their wives' patronymics on to their own. This 
 is slightly bewildering to a foreigner, and he not 
 only has a tendency to considerably mix people 
 up, but to forget the very name of a person 
 before he is half through with it. Everybody in 
 Portugal likes to be addressed by his full name 
 and title, and no ordinary envelope is large 
 enough to contain a proper description of the 
 most commonplace individual, whilst that of a 
 person of position demands an envelope of mag- 
 nificent dimensions. 
 
 There is a lot of the colonial element in 
 Lisbon ; and the wealth of the city seems chiefly 
 to be in the hands of those who have made their 
 " pile " beyond the seas. 
 
 The theatres in Portugal are not so fine as 
 those in Spain, although the Lisbon opera- 
 house is a handsome and spacious building, 
 which, by-the-bye, was completely filled when I 
 gave my experiments therein. 
 
 p ortu . The gold currency in Portugal is the English 
 
 su ese . sovereign ; and it was, after the heavy loss in 
 
 exchange on the Spanish pesetas, particularly 
 
 gratifying to receive one's takings in pounds
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 195 
 
 sterling instead of in paper money. Everything' 
 in Portugal is reckoned by reis, about 4000 reis 
 being equal to the pound sterling. When a 
 foreigner, not knowing the value of Portuguese 
 money, sees the total of his first day's hotel bill 
 In reis, he invariably takes a fright, and wonders 
 how anybody under a millionaire can afford to 
 stay in hotels in Portugal ; and it is with a sigh 
 of relief that he discovers how infinitesimally 
 small is the actual value of even a whole hand- 
 ful of reis. 
 
 Living in Portugal that is in hotels is a trifle 
 cheaper than in Spain ; but the bill of fare is 
 on the whole better in Spain than in Portugal, 
 whilst in the former country they provide local- 
 grow^ wine at the dinner-table free of charge, 
 but in the latter no such privilege is extended 
 to the guests. 
 
 Railway travelling in Spain is slow enough ; 
 but in Portugal it is slower still ; and I pity the 
 man or woman with nerves, who has to travel 
 much across country in Portugal. I once made 
 the journey from Oporto to Seville. I forget 
 how many hours, days, weeks, or even months 
 it took us ; but I know it seemed like making a 
 complete circuit of the world, whilst no profes- 
 sional fasting man could have looked thinner 
 than I did when I arrived at Seville ; for outside 
 of a few oranges, a handful of pea-nuts, and an 
 occasional basin of greasy soup, it was impos- 
 sible to get anything on the journey. 
 
 There is a story told of a farmer in one of the 
 O 2
 
 196 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Western States of America, who made a claim 
 of 200 against a local railway company on the 
 ground that their trains were so slow, that on 
 going through his corn-fields they shaded his 
 com to that extent of damage. Whether the 
 man was successful in his suit, I quite forget, 
 but I should think that every wine-grower in 
 Spain or Portugal, through whose vineyard the 
 accommodation trains run, would have an excel- 
 lent cause for action against the railway com- 
 panies on the above-mentioned ground. 
 Lent in The Portuguese do not observe Lent so rigidly 
 and Splin. as tne Spaniards, it being extremely difficult to 
 get people to attend theatres or places of 
 amusement in Spain during the Lenten period, 
 whilst one of the largest and certainly the most 
 enthusiastic and intelligent audiences I had in 
 Portugal was at the University town of Coimbra 
 a few days after the Carnival. 
 
 I shall never forget the horror excited amongst 
 all good Catholics in Barcelona by the announce- 
 ment that a bull-fight would take place in that 
 city on the last Sunday in Lent. The priests 
 said such a thing had never occurred before, and 
 they called upon the authorities to stop the 
 proposed fight ; failing this, they contented 
 themselves with prophesying all kinds of evil. 
 Ill would come to the man who promoted it, ill 
 to those who took part in it and those who 
 attended it; and never, I think, did the good 
 men pray more heartily for rain than on that 
 occasion.
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts, 197 
 
 Well, the day came, and it rained in torrents, 
 and the hearts of all good Catholics rejoiced, 
 whilst the unfortunate individual who speculated 
 on the chance of its being fine lost heavily, and 
 the toros and the toreros had to return from 
 whence they came. Whether the impresario 
 took warning by the result and became a better 
 Christian, or whether he lapsed further into 
 infidelity, I am unable to say. 
 
 In both Spain and Portugal the priests I am an 
 generally viewed me with suspicion ; and, to the suspicion 
 best of my belief, not one attended any of my 
 public representations. But in Toledo, when I 
 was being shown over the cathedral, the Dean 
 expressed a great wish that I would give him 
 and his co-priests, who were by virtue of their 
 office prevented from attending my seance 
 in the theatre, a private exhibition in the 
 cathedral. 
 
 The idea was a novel one, but I saw no reason 
 why I should not fall in with it ; and we 
 accordingly adjourned to the sacristy. 
 
 The dean offered himself as a subject ; and 
 a very good one he proved to be. His thoughts 
 were centred upon the nail in the feet of a 
 bleeding Christ suspended on the wall, and this 
 I at once indicated to the surprise and I might 
 almost say the consternation of those present, 
 some of whom I caught muttering something 
 which sounded very like a prayer. 
 
 In return for what I did, the dean personally 
 showed me some of the cathedral's choicest
 
 198 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 treasures, and we finally parted on excellent 
 terms, he, a highly intelligent and cultured man, 
 understanding the true character of my experi- 
 ments. 
 
 But he was an exception to the general run 
 of priests, and I was frequently reminded what 
 might have been my lot had I lived in Spain 
 in the days of the Inquisition. Many people 
 firmly believed that if not exactly in league with 
 the Evil One, the art I dabbled in was as 
 closely allied to the Black Art as it well could 
 be. 
 
 Once, in fact, a Portuguese priest took me 
 seriously to task for my alleged association with 
 Beelzebub, and in vigorous language he drew a 
 gloomy picture of what for a certainty would 
 be my fate when my earthly course was run if I 
 did not abandon my present evil course. 
 A strange His words made a strong impression upon 
 dream. mej anc j j w hen I went to bed, set me dreaming. 
 I dreamt I was somewhere down below, where 
 I didn't exactly know, but somewhere where it 
 was damp and dark and altogether depressing. 
 Presently from out of the gloom there came a 
 figure of gigantic proportions. He had fiery red 
 eyes, a huge head surmounted by a sharply 
 pointed pair of horns, an immense mouth set 
 with jagged teeth, which he gnashed from time 
 to time, and a nose like a vulture's beak. His 
 stature was immense, and he towered over me 
 several feet ; his arms hung loosely by his side, 
 and the fingers of his hands were shaped like
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 199 
 
 the talons of a bird. His feet were cloven, and 
 he made a dreadful clatter as he strode towards 
 me ; but what most impressed me was his tail. 
 It was forked, and several feet long, and kept 
 angrily swishing from side to side. What that 
 tail might have been in repose I don't know ; 
 but in anger it was the most terrifying thing I 
 ever saw. 
 
 The figure, which completely realized my 
 childish ideas of the typical Devil, signified by 
 gestures that I should read his thoughts. 
 
 I begged to be excused, but he would accept 
 no refusal ; and I felt myself irresistibly 
 drawn towards him. Never shall I forget the 
 sardonic leer on that figure's face as I prepared 
 to do his bidding, whilst I positively shudder 
 whenever I think of the thrill that ran through 
 me when he placed his tail in my hand ; for he 
 did not give me his hand, but his tail to read his 
 thoughts through. 
 
 When I first took hold of it, it was cold and 
 clammy, but as I put it to my forehead it 
 burnt as with a searing-iron. I tried to release 
 it, to cast it from me and run, but the tail 
 seemed to cling to me, or I to it, like a needle 
 to a magnet, whilst my legs were powerless to 
 act. 
 
 Presently the figure made a move, and I found in which I 
 myself following it with eyes wide open, full of 
 
 wondering horror. Our pace was slow at first; but most P^- 
 it eventually became more rapid ; and the ground 
 we traversed grew more uneven. The course
 
 2OO A Thought-Reader' s Thoughts. 
 
 we took was a downward one, ever down, and 
 we sprang from rock to rock, and from ledge to 
 ledge where foothold there appeared none, and 
 passed into gloomy canons from which phos- 
 phorescent eyes seemed to stare upon us as we 
 went flying by. 
 
 When would the chase end where ? 
 
 I grew faint with fear, and my legs moved as 
 if numbed ; but the forked tail burnt like fire in 
 my hand. 
 
 Presently we stopped, and entered a passage 
 darker and danker than any we had yet gone 
 through ; out of the darkness strange sounds 
 issued, and weird forms flitted past us. I tried 
 to close my eyes and shut out the sight, but 
 they remained wide open. Would it never 
 end ? 
 
 Gradually it grew lighter, and in the distance 
 I could distinguish what appeared to be the 
 entrance to an immense cavern. This we en- 
 tered, and the semi-darkness at once changed 
 into dazzling light. 
 
 This brightness was worse than all the dark- 
 ness, for the horrors of the place were only too 
 vividly revealed thereby. I will not attempt to 
 describe what I saw ; and the reader can imagine 
 what I felt or what he would feel under the 
 circumstances. 
 
 I have tried hard to forget the scene, but it 
 has burnt itself on my memory, never, I fear, to 
 be effaced. 
 
 I remember only too well the huge fire
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 201 
 
 glowing with a brightness of a thousand fur- 
 naces, that burnt in the centre of the cavern, and 
 the gibbering forms, neither man nor animal, 
 which acted as stokers. 
 
 It was to this fire that we were going. How 
 terribly hot it was even yards away ! Yet we 
 drew to it closer and closer, and I felt that it was 
 the figure's intention to draw me into the midst 
 of that terrible furnace. Yes, this was his 
 thought. 
 
 I remember trying to pray, whilst my com- 
 panion mocked me, and dragged me closer to- 
 wards the glowing mass. 
 
 I was powerless ; there was no grip to my 
 feet, no nerve to my arm, and I felt myself 
 being swung in the air over the fire and flames. 
 I writhed, gave a shriek, and fell. 
 
 Slowly I awoke, and was conscious that all The 
 
 climax. 
 
 was not right. Dimly I could make out that 
 some one was knocking : were they the nails 
 being driven into my coffin ? No ; the knocks 
 appeared to be at the door of my bedroom ; 
 but there was such a buzzing in my ears that 
 nothing seemed very clear. Finally I got to 
 the stage when I opened my eyes, and then I 
 found myself lying on the floor holding on to 
 the disrupted bell-pull with the morning sun 
 streaming full in my face ; whilst outside 
 sounded Jose's musical voice, 
 " Hot water, zare."
 
 202 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 IN the Autumn of 1886 I visited Egypt, where I 
 remained several weeks, during which period I 
 made the acquaintance of many of the most 
 notable personages in that country. 
 TheKhe- The Khedive at once received me in special 
 
 dive as I audience, 1 and his reception of me was ex- 
 read mm. 
 
 ceedmgly flattering. 
 
 " I never thought," said his Highness on 
 greeting me, " that it would be my good for- 
 tune to see you here ; but strange to say I have 
 been dreaming about you for the past three 
 nights, and we Mohammedans believe that what 
 we dream about three times in succession is 
 bound to come true ; and," he added with a 
 frank smile, " in this case you see it has." 
 
 His Highness then conversed upon general 
 matters, and I was surprised to find how exceed- 
 ingly well informed he really was. He speaks 
 English and French fluently, his manner is most 
 engaging. He has an honest, open countenance 
 free from any trace of Eastern guile. Extremely 
 
 1 The presentation was made by my friend Baron 
 Malortie, to whom and I may add, Dr. Schweinfurth I 
 am indebted for many kindnesses whilst in Egypt.
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 20; 
 
 sensitive, he is easily impressed, and his kindli- 
 ness of heart runs the risk of being mistaken for 
 weakness of character. He is a thoughtful, 
 painstaking man, and those who speak of him 
 as being weak and irresolute, know absolutely 
 nothing of him. He, it is true, is not a man of 
 particularly strong character ; but at the same 
 time he possesses a considerable determination 
 of purpose, and, above all, he is strictly honour- 
 able in all his dealings. ( 
 
 His Highness honestly strives to do his duty; Hisloyalty 
 and his task, beset as he is by numerous intrigues, straight- 
 is by no means an easy one, whilst his loyalty to forward- 
 
 ... . ness, 
 
 us is altogether unquestionable. 
 
 His Highness, I must confess, most favourably 
 impressed me. Instead of the amiable but weak 
 ruler I had come prepared to see, I found an 
 intelligent, well-informed man, thoroughly an 
 courant with public affairs at home and abroad, 
 and with an air of quiet 'dignity about him that 
 at once commanded respect, whilst in some ex- 
 periments I performed with him I had an oppor- 
 tunity of testing his powers of concentration. 
 
 His Highness proved to be an excellent sub- His 
 
 i . , , . , ,- - , , powers of 
 
 ject ; and it was with him that I first essayed the concen- 
 
 feat of writing out words thought of in Oriental tratlon - 
 characters. 
 
 The words selected by the Khediye were Assiz 
 and Abbas, both of which I wrote down without 
 the slightest hesitation, and, as the Egyptian 
 Gazette in chronicling the occurrence said, they 
 were written in a " bold hand in faultless Arabic,"
 
 2O4 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 At the time I did not understand a single word of 
 Arabic, and had never attempted to read or write 
 in that language. 
 
 A model The Khedive is quite a model husband, and an 
 ancfa 1 ec l ua lly model father, bringing up his children 
 model with becoming simplicity. He drinks nothing 
 ier ' stronger than water, and smokes not at all, 
 although he provides his visitors with excellent 
 cigarettes. These he gives the favoured ones 
 with his own hand, whilst the servants pass 
 round aromatic coffee in' gorgeously bejewelled 
 cups, shaped like egg-cups. The coffee drunk 
 the interview comes to an end ; the Khedive 
 claps his hand, and an attendant appears. You 
 slightly bow over his Highness's hand given 
 you in farewell and then make for the door. At 
 the door you turn, and with your right hand on 
 your heart and your left upon your brow, make a 
 deep salaam, and then, moving backward, take 
 your exit. 
 
 I saw his Highness several times during my 
 stay in Cairo, and, on my leaving for India, he 
 did me the honour of making me the bearer of a 
 congratulatory message to the Viceroy. Lord 
 Dufferin holds the Khedive in high esteem ; and 
 he was much pleased at His Highness's kind 
 thought. 
 An experi- Whilst in Cairo I frequently met Baker Pasha, 
 
 ment with T i. j i I -TTIJ 
 
 Baker whom I had previously known in England ; and 
 
 Pasha. a f ew nightg before I left for Bombay, he got 
 
 me to do an experiment in thought-reading with 
 
 him. We had been dining with Sir Edgar Vin-
 
 A Thought - Reader s Thoughts. 205 
 
 cent, and after dinner Baker said, " I have been 
 asked to hide a pin outside ; do you think you 
 could find it ? " 
 
 " Go and hide it," I replied, " and we'll see." 
 
 He hid it and returned. 
 
 I took him and went out in the chill night air, 
 followed by the other guests, and watched- with 
 wondering eyes by a few natives who happened 
 to be abroad. The course lay down one of the 
 avenues ; and finally I stopped at a tree. The 
 pin was stuck in the tree, but so high up that I 
 had to climb to reach it. 
 
 I shall never forget Baker's enthusiasm when 
 I went blindfolded up that tree and came down 
 again bringing the pin with me. 
 
 Of all the men I met in Egypt Nubar Pasha Nubar 
 formed the most complete study. I have seen 
 him in his sympathetic, and in his angry moods, 
 in his thoughtful moments, and in his abstracted 
 ones, yet I never could quite make him out. 
 He is, I think, the most changeable man I ever 
 came across ; and I found the task of dis- 
 tinguishing the real Nubar from the Nubar of 
 the moment an exceedingly difficult one. 
 
 Nubar was looking very aged when I last 
 saw him, and he was complaining of being out 
 of health. He is a hard-working man, with very 
 little time for idling. Of his genius there can 
 be no doubt, whilst no one will deny his states- 
 man-like qualities, not even perhaps his enemies, 
 of whom he has many. 
 
 Nubar is too arrogant and domineering to be
 
 206 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 a popular man, whilst the fact of his being an 
 Armenian and a Christian serves to add to his 
 unpopularity ; but where he is not loved he is 
 feared, and fear with the Eastern is frequently a 
 more potent factor than love. 2 
 
 Nubar is the least superstitious of the pashas, 
 many of whom would make signs behind their 
 backs against the evil eye whenever they saw 
 me coming. 
 
 Pashas as ^ P asna ' ls no ^ an ideal subject for thought- 
 subjects." reading ; for, as a general thing, he is much too 
 fat to exert himself, and if the experiment is of 
 any length, he invariably gets puffed and played 
 out before you are half through with it. 
 
 Here is an instance in point. One afternoon 
 I was taking coffee with a certain notable 
 pasha, when the subject of thought-reading 
 came up. " Could you find a pin," said the 
 pasha, " if I hid it in the garden below ? " 
 (We were sitting on a verandah overlooking 
 the garden.) 
 
 I expressed my willingness to try, and whilst 
 he hid the pin, I retired with some of his friends 
 into an inner room in the palace. 
 
 He was a long time hiding it ; but eventually 
 we were informed that all was ready. 
 
 We returned to the verandah, and the pasha 
 and I made a start. 
 
 2 Just as this chapter is being passed for press there 
 comes the news that at last the all-powerful Nubar has 
 fallen from his high estate, and that Rias Pasha, who is 
 a scholar and a gentleman, has been appointed Premier 
 in his stead.
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 207 
 
 Tortoises are not credited with having much 
 speed ; but the pace of that pasha was con- 
 siderably slower than that of any tortoise I ever 
 'saw ; and it struck me that at the rate we were 
 going it would be night before we arrived at the 
 place where the pin was. 
 
 I tried to expedite matters by making a dash, It is the 
 
 but it only made things worse; for besides ji^ l 
 nearly jerking the pasha off his legs, I so upset 
 him generally that he paused to recover him- 
 self. How long it was he paused before he 
 recovered himself I really don't know, but it 
 seemed about an hour ; and I began to calculate 
 the days instead of the hours before I 'could 
 come up with that pin. 
 
 Eventually we made another start, and this 
 time we went in the wrong direction ; and I 
 dragged the pasha over the flower-beds and 
 through the shrubs before we got on to the 
 right track again. By this time the pasha, 
 whose only idea of exercise was to walk round 
 his billiard-table, was completely exhausted, and 
 he sank heavily upon a seat. He was very 
 quiet as if in deep thought ; but presently he 
 began to snore, and I knew that he, Eastern-like, 
 had decided to solve the difficulty' by sleeping 
 over it. 
 
 I nudged him and reminded him that the pin 
 had to be found, to which he returned answer 
 that some one else had better find it, for he had 
 had quite enough of it. 
 
 His decision was final, and nothing else
 
 208 A Thought-Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 remained but to take some one else who knew 
 where the pin was, and try and succeed with him. 
 I selected a younger and a thinner man, and at 
 once went to the place where the pin was. 
 
 "Thought-reading is for the young and not 
 for the old," said the pasha, who viewed the 
 whole thing as a sort of out-door exercise, 
 " unless you thought-readers hide the pins 
 yourselves and find them yourselves ; for my 
 part I've had enough dragging about to last 
 me for a lifetime ;" and he leant back with a 
 sigh that was half a groan. 
 
 This chapter must necessarily be short, as I 
 amincludingadetailedaccountof myimpressions 
 of Egypt and the Egyptians in a new work to be 
 entirely devoted to the East. In this work I 
 shall endeavour to throw some light upon the 
 mysteries of the Magi, and to furnish a complete 
 exposition of Indian juggling and so-called 
 Oriental occultism.
 
 A Thought-Reader s Thoughts. 209 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 AFTER my association with the Khedive, my in- 
 terest in his opponent Arabi was considerably ^ rabi the 
 heightened, and on my arrival in Ceylon I took Egyptian, 
 an early opportunity of making the exile's ac- 
 quaintance. We became very friendly ; and one 
 day he invited me to breakfast with him. 
 
 Previous to entering the breakfast-room a fez- 
 capped servant, armed with ewer and basin, met 
 us on the threshold, and he, in true oriental 
 fashion, poured water over our hands. This 
 done, we took our seats at the table, Arabi at 
 the head. I was placed on his right, whilst 
 Yakoub Sami (ex sub-Minister of War) sat on 
 his left. General AH Fehmi and the pasha's 
 son, who from time to time acted as interpreter, 
 were also present. 
 
 The breakfast was truly a wondrous affair. At break- 
 All the dishes were Egyptian, and served as in 
 Egypt. The quantity of the viands was alarm- 
 ing, but the quality of them led me on from dish 
 to dish, not one being left untasted. First there 
 came a sort of Egyptian curry a species of 
 stewed beef spiced in a peculiar way. This was 
 followed by a dish of meat-stuffed vegetables 
 
 P
 
 2io A T kought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 a little hot, it is true, but otherwise most savory. 
 After this a huge dish of vermicelli made the 
 round of the table ; it was crisply baked, and 
 covered with a thick coat of sugar. This tempt- 
 ing sweet-stuff appeared to be a favourite dish 
 of the exiles, and they helped themselves plenti- 
 fully to it. Your Oriental has an amazingly 
 " sweet tooth." There came next pieces of 
 chicken embedded in a thick white sauce, upon 
 the surface of which were strewn little chips of 
 fried onions. A sour following a sweet is all 
 very well in some cases, but I must confess I 
 fought somewhat shy of the white sauce with its 
 onion accompaniment. The last dish but one 
 was a green slippery mish-mash, something like 
 spinach, with the flavour of linseed. This dish 
 was made from a vegetable grown in Arabi's 
 own garden, the seeds of which he had brought 
 with him, together with other seeds for culinary 
 purposes, from Egypt. Arabi is nothing unless 
 he is thoroughly Egyptian in all things even 
 unto his daily food. We wound up with rice, 
 balls of which the exile from time to time adroitly 
 slipped into the mouth of a feminine mite who 
 stood at his knee. This was the sloe-eyed, curly- 
 headed daughter born to Arabi whilst out here, 
 and she was the only member of the fair sex I 
 was permitted to see during my visit, the women 
 of the family being strictly perdu. 
 
 Arabi, I would add, possesses a prodigious 
 appetite, which seems to be in no way affected 
 by his forced exile. He eats in approved Eastern
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 2 1 1 
 
 fashion, i.e. with thumb and finger, and the 
 mountains of bread that he disposes of would be 
 the despair of Dr. Schvvenninger (who cured 
 Bismarck of his obesity), who puts bread down as 
 an item of food to be specially avoided by the 
 obese. 
 
 Breakfast over, we went through the process The exile's 
 of washing hands once more, and then we ad- 
 journed to the verandah. Here was brought us 
 aromatic coffee, served in delicate egg-shaped 
 cups, the gift of a friend in Constantinople. We 
 sipped our coffee and puffed away at our Egyp- 
 tian cigarettes, talking the while of the weather 
 and of other light topics. The house occupied 
 by Arabi is very pleasantly situated in Cinnamon 
 Gardens, Colombo. It is a decided improvement 
 upon the one he occupied when he first arrived 
 out here. 1 And it is also in every way superior 
 to his old barrack-like house in Abdin Street in 
 Cairo. Elizabeth House is the name of the 
 exile's present abode ; it stands back in a large 
 garden, in which bloom and flourish all sorts of 
 tropical plants and trees. In this compound 
 there has been erected, amidst a circle of flower- 
 ing shrubs, a spacious summer-house, roofed with 
 the broad leaves of the cocoanut palm. This 
 cool retreat Arabi's favourite resort when the 
 sun is down is shut off from the vulgar gaze by 
 a hedge of bright-red shoeflowers. 
 
 1 Arabi left Suez on the 2yth December, 1882, and 
 arrived at Colombo on the loth January, 1883 ; he has . 
 consequently been in exile upwards of five years. 
 P 2
 
 212 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 Arabi is an early riser, and is out of bed with 
 the rising of the sun. He is not very fond of 
 walking but then what Eastern is ? but he 
 daily takes a stroll in his garden, which for fra- 
 grance and shade surpasses anything that Cairo 
 can boast of. During the day he reads a great 
 deal, actively pursuing his study of English a 
 perfect knowledge of which language it is his 
 ambition to acquire. At present he has not much 
 command of the language, but his accent is good, 
 and he is naturally very proud of the progress 
 he has made, for when he arrived in Ceylon he 
 could, I believe, scarcely speak a word of Eng- 
 lish. 
 
 Upon politics Arabi showed a strong disincli- 
 nation to converse ; and I certainly did not feel 
 justified in questioning him with respect to such 
 matters. 
 
 "What can I know of the situation in 
 Egypt? "he said; "why will people ask me? 
 The English Government must know best what 
 to do. (This was in 1886.) They alone can 
 know whether it would be best to employ 
 Turkish troops in the Soudan. I can know 
 nothing now ; all I can do is to think of 
 what might be ; and," he added with a smile, 
 " even my thoughts are not my own when you 
 are by." 
 
 I hastened, however, to reassure him as to 
 this, pointing out that all private thoughts were 
 sacred with me ; and, by way of showing him 
 how far my powers actually extended in this
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 213 
 
 direction, I performed one or two experiments 
 with him. 
 
 The thing that seemed to interest Arabi most Arabi's 
 of all things connected with the outside world ThTebav? 
 was the present and future position of King 
 Theebaw. He seemed surprised when I told 
 him that no one was permitted to see the ex- 
 ruler of Burmah (who was then a captive in 
 Madras), when so much freedom in this direc- 
 tion was accorded himself by the English Gov- 
 ernment. Roughly speaking he was of opinion 
 that if he, who had but struck a blow for liberty 
 at the popular will, was deprived of his liberty, 
 a monarch who had been guilty of so many 
 wanton massacres and inexcusable atrocities 
 ought in justice to be deprived of more than ^-> 
 this. 
 
 Arabi intellectually is far the Khedive's in- 
 ferior, and he was not a particularly good sub- 
 ject for thought-reading ; but I, on the whole, 
 was fairly successful with him. 
 
 One experiment in particular deserves chroni- An experi- 
 
 . . ment with 
 
 Clmg. Arabi. 
 
 Arabi had read in the native Egyptian papers 
 particulars of my experiments with the Khedive, 
 and he was anxious for me to write out a word 
 that he might think of. 
 
 This I agreed to, and Arabi having thought 
 of his word, I endeavoured to write it upon one 
 of the whitewashed pillars of his verandah. 
 
 I succeeded, however, in making nothing 
 more than a few unintelligible scrawls.
 
 214 -^ Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 "You are thinking of the word in English," I 
 said. 
 
 " Yes," replied Arabi, " I think of the word in 
 English very well." 
 
 " But think of it in Arabic." 
 
 This Arabi - very reluctantly did (for he was 
 very proud of his knowledge of English), and 
 I at once wrote out the word in Arabic cha- 
 racters. 
 
 It was Jesus. 
 
 " Now," I said, " show me how you write the 
 word in English." He did so, and the 
 writing bore a striking resemblance to my pre- 
 vious scrawlings. " Now write it in Arabic." 
 This he did, and his handwriting closely 
 resembled that which I had just traced out on 
 the pillar. 
 
 " As yet," I remarked, " you think much 
 better in your native tongue than in English." 
 
 But this Arabi would not have at all ; and in 
 proof of his assertion he produced his dictionary 
 (to which he would frequently refer when he 
 was at a loss for a word), and showed me the 
 word Jesus in Latin, and Arabic characters side 
 by side. I explained that I did not doubt his 
 familiarity with the word in both languages, but 
 that I could not write what he could not him- 
 self form ; but only that which he himself could 
 write. 
 
 Arabi, I am afraid, was but half satisfied, and 
 he to this day, I daresay, wonders why I wrote 
 out a word in Arabic when he was so anxious
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 2 1 5 
 
 to prove that he could think of it just as well in 
 English. 
 
 On the whole Arabi appears to be fairly con- 
 tent (save that he does not think his allowance 
 sufficient for his increasing family), and the 
 complaints he had to make were almost solely 
 levelled against the weather and the mosquitoes. 
 
 " It is always warm here," he said over and 
 over again in his broken English " no change ; 
 never cold in winter as in Cairo ; and the mos- 
 quitoes are much more troublesome ;" and he 
 pointed with unfeigned disgust to several punc- 
 tures which appeared just above the tattoo marks 
 on his left fore-arm. I certainly had up to this 
 been under the impression that a real Egyptian 
 mosquito was a wretch unequalled for its low 
 cunning and general bloodthirstiness ; but it 
 would appear that either I have been mistaken, 
 or that Arabi's patriotic feelings have led him 
 astray in thus setting up excuses on behalf of 
 one of the plagues of Egypt. 
 
 Psychologically considered, Arabi Pasha is Arabi 
 not a very difficult problem. He is neither fogically 
 very bright nor very dull. He does not possess considered. 
 a subtle intellect, and he would not shine in 
 finesse. He, however, gives one the impression 
 of being honest and straightforward, slow to 
 think, but tenacious of an idea. Swift to anger, 
 but quick to forgive. He possesses apparently 
 but little knowledge of the world, knows nothing 
 of statecraft, and is, above all things, the oppo- 
 site of dodgy. With an Oriental dodginess is a
 
 216 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 virtue, and it is quite refreshing to see that 
 Arabi is by nature frank and truthful. In 
 manner he is a little brusque, and his natural 
 reserve might at first sight be taken for sullen- 
 ness. There is a certain dignity about him, 
 however, and his fine stalwart presence is such 
 as to at once command respect. Whilst he 
 would, I venture to think, be quite out of his 
 element as a conductor of State affairs, I know 
 of no one who could better take the popular fancy 
 in Egypt than Arabi. In almost any country, 
 however, he would probably be a leader of men 
 always of the people, yet commanding them ; 
 and one can well understand how the fellaheen, 
 whilst looking upon him as one of themselves, 
 came to regard him as the true exponent of 
 liberty, and the rightful redresser of the people's 
 wrongs. 
 
 Arabi's Arabi, I believe, expects much of the Radical 
 
 non^rth P artv m England, amongst whom Mr. Henry 
 
 English Labouchere is the one he appears to hold in the 
 
 greatest admiration ; and he begged of me to 
 
 convey his hearty greetings to the senior member 
 
 for Northampton. 
 
 Alas ! Arabi, your expectations, I fear, will 
 not be realized. You may, whilst sitting on the 
 verandah, dreamily watching the smoke of your 
 cigar curl and wind amongst the luxuriant foliage 
 that surrounds you, think that your exile is 
 but temporary, and that the time will not be 
 long before you are called upon to assume what 
 many people think to be your proper place in
 
 A T bought- Reader s Thoughts. 217 
 
 connection with Egyptian affairs ; but you will, 
 I think, find that each succeeding government, 
 whether Radical or Constitutional, will probably 
 feel that the interests of Egypt will be best 
 served by your remaining where you are. 
 
 This may be unjust, but it, under the circum- 
 stances, is probably the wisest course to pursue, 
 for the presence of Arabi in Egypt would not 
 fail to be in the end productive of mischief; 
 and it would be better for Arabi, instead of 
 buoying himself up with the idea that his exile 
 is but temporary, to make up his mind that he 
 has come to Ceylon to stay.
 
 2i8 A Thought-Reader'' s Thoughts. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 I AM often asked which nationality provides the 
 best " subjects," and this is, I need hardly say, 
 not an easy question to answer. 
 
 I have found good "subjects" amongst all 
 the civilized nations, and occasionally amongst 
 the uncivilized ; but the more intelligent and 
 intellectual a people are, the greater number of 
 good " subjects " do they produce. 
 
 About na- ^ n an audience composed equally of English, 
 tionalities-. French, Germans, Russians, Italians, Austrians, 
 Spaniards, Hungarians, and Americans, I should, 
 I think, have the greatest number of successes 
 with the Germans, and with the Hungarians the 
 least ; whilst with an audience composed of 
 Turks, Tartars, Chinese, Maories, Hindoos, 
 Negroes, and Red Indians, success would mainly 
 depend upon the individual intelligence of the 
 person I experimented with. For whilst human 
 nature, ethically considered, is very much alike 
 all the world over, it, viewed from a psycho- 
 logical stand-point, bristles with contrasts. 
 
 The white man, however much he may 
 physically resemble another white man, does 
 not always think like his fellow ; and the same
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 219 
 
 may be said of the black, the yellow, or the red 
 man ; and although two persons may arrive Alike, yet 
 simultaneously at the same conclusion, each jl? w un ' 
 person in doing so will probably have pursued a 
 different mental path. 
 
 In my experiments this is often strikingly 
 exemplified ; one man will have his way of 
 giving me the indication of the direction of a 
 hidden pin and another another, the method of 
 expression seldom being alike, although the 
 pins may be hid in precisely the same spot. 
 
 The pompous man takes his time over his The pom- 
 experiment, refusing to be hurried either P us J^ an - 
 mentally or physically ; whilst the nervous man, 
 as I have already pointed out in another 
 chapter, trembles at everything he approaches. 
 The sly man thinks how, without breaking his 
 word, he can best throw you off the scent, and 
 the sceptic how to keep himself passive. 
 
 Then there- are the listless folk, who think it a The listless 
 " deuced bore, dontcherknow," that they should man> 
 be asked to think of anything ; and the indifferent, 
 limp kind of creatures, who seem to tumble to 
 pieces at every jerk you give them. 
 
 There is also the impetuous young man, who 
 knocks over sundry chairs and ornaments in 
 his anxiety to reach the goal; and the jolly The jolly 
 man, who thinks it an awful lark this thought- man - 
 reading, and, without a single sensible idea in 
 his empty noddle, imagines he looks " awfully 
 wise " as he winks knowingly at his friends 
 during his peregrinations about the room.
 
 22O A Thought -Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 The fussy man, who is not at all satisfied with 
 the way you are going about your work, and 
 who stops every moment to tell you so, is 
 The another familiar character ; and so is the " clever 
 
 cha^" 1 cna P>" w ho knows how everything is done, and 
 who wants, in consequence, to tell you where the 
 thing is, because he " wouldn't spoil a trick for 
 the world." The "clever chap" is a thought- 
 reader's bete-noire ; he is invariably completely 
 ignorant of the subject, but he imagines he 
 knows it " down to the ground ;" and the airs he 
 gives himself in consequence are most ridiculous. 
 The "clever chap" is sure to be a bit of an 
 amateur conjuror, and as such frequently gives 
 his friends a few worn-out card-tricks which he 
 calls " thought-reading ;" and having no know- 
 ledge whatever of the scientific aspects of the 
 real thought-reading, puts all experiments one 
 does down as " fakes ;" which he of course 
 knows how to do, but who " wouldn't give the 
 thing away for the world." 
 
 The fair sex in their way offer equally 
 striking contrasts. 
 
 There is the hysterical young lady, who is 
 
 afraid you are going to mesmerize her directly 
 
 you take her hand, and who is apt to break 
 
 down in the midst of an experiment ; the dashing 
 
 young lady, who makes the experiment an 
 
 " The opportunity for showing off; the strong-minded 
 
 stro "s- female, who will lead you a pretty dance all over 
 
 minded r 
 
 female. the place, or she'll know the reason why, with 
 her " Read my thoughts, indeed ? I'd like to 
 see the man who could do that"
 
 A Thought -Readers Thoughts. 221 
 
 Then there are the giggling, giddy creatures, 
 who haven't the remotest idea what con- 
 centration of thought means ; and the frisky 
 dames of an uncertain age whose one idea is 
 how they are looking in the men's eyes. 
 
 With respect to women as " subjects," it is 
 quite an error to imagine that I achieve success 
 more readily with women than with men. On 
 the contrary, I find women as a general thing 
 too nervous and highly strung to make " good 
 subjects." It is all very well if the experiment 
 be a simple one, and does not take long to carry 
 out ; but if it be at all intricate especially if 
 performed in a public audience one runs the 
 risk of failure unless the lady be a person of 
 exceptional concentration of thought and 
 determination of purpose. For not only are women as 
 women unable to bear the strain of continued subjects, 
 mental concentration, but they soon get nervous 
 and flurried (that is, when they don't giggle and 
 smirk), when things are not going all right ; and 
 with the natural perversity of their sex they 
 begin to think of every object, that is every hat 
 or bonnet in the room, instead of the object 
 originally thought of; whilst some such notions 
 as these find place in their thoughts : " How 
 very absurd Miss Smith looks in that hat ! " 
 " Miss Brown is beginning to look quite old." 
 >c There is Mr. Robinson looking at me ; I 
 believe he's laughing at me ; no wonder, for I'm 
 sure I look ridiculous marching up and down 
 here in front of those horried Jones girls, too ! " 
 And the experiment terminates abruptly.
 
 222 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 There are of course countless exceptions to 
 the rule ; and I have at different times performed 
 some remarkably interesting experiments with 
 women, my best subject being the Queen Regent 
 of Spain. 
 
 A galaxy In the world of rank and fashion parades 
 subnets'" before my memory a long array of those with 
 whom I have successfully experimented, fore- 
 most among them being the Queen of Portugal, 
 the Crown Princess of Austria, several Austrian 
 Archduchesses and Russian Grand Duchesses, 
 the Princess Hohenlohe, the Princess Metternich, 
 the Comtesse de Paris, the Infantas Isabel and 
 Eulalia, the Countess Taafe, the Countess 
 Andrassy, the Countess of Derby, the Lady 
 Jersey, the Countess of Aberdeen, Lady Reay, 
 the Baroness Henry de Worms, Madame Lucca, 
 &c., &c., &c. ; and behind them are grouped the 
 Imperial, royal and noble folk whose thoughts 
 I have read by deputy, or with whom I have 
 had but indifferent success. 
 
 Madame Amongst literary women with whom I have 
 Adam and experimented I consider Madame Edmond Adam 
 Novikoff. and Madame de Novikoft to be the two best 
 " subjects." They are alike, yet wholly unlike ; 
 both are clever, fascinating women, capable of 
 great concentration of thought and fixedness of 
 purpose ; but there the similarity ends. The 
 Frenchwoman is quick, sympathetic and im- 
 pulsive ; the Russian calm, subtle and reflective ; 
 yet with either I should be equally successful in 
 any experiment that I might try.
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 22, 
 
 With Miss Braddon I did .not have any great Miss 
 success ; on the whole, she was a disappointing Braddon. 
 " subject." Instead of finding her a woman of 
 the marked determination that I had been led to 
 expect from her writings, she seemed to be ex- 
 ceedingly distrait ; and I think I should be right 
 in saying that I had greater difficulty with her 
 than with any other woman of note. 
 
 Were I to enumerate the various experiments 
 I have performed with distinguished women 
 when one experiment is so much like another 
 I should certainly run the risk of becoming 
 wearisome to the reader ; and this, above all 
 things, I am anxious to avoid. 
 
 Although as a general thing women do not 
 " pan out " well as " subjects " for thought- 
 reading, they, in their natural nervousness, 
 make excellent " subjects " for what is called 
 " willing " the phase of experiment in which "Willing, 
 they are what is termed " willed " to do certain 
 things desired by the person or persons who 
 have hold of them. 
 
 The general method is for a lady to stand in 
 the middle of the room, for two so-called 
 " willers " either ladies or gentlemen, but 
 chiefly the former to place their hands upon 
 her body (principally round the waist or on the 
 shoulders), and to " will " her to find a certain 
 object or to do a certain thing they have deter- 
 mined upon. In due course the lady moves off 
 in the direction desired by the " operators/' and 
 frequently interprets their wishes to the letter.
 
 224 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 How it is But there is no thought-reading about this sort 
 done. o f thing, for the subject simply obeys the mus- 
 cular pressure unconsciously or consciously 
 exercised upon her by those who have hold of her. 
 In nine cases out of ten she is simply pushed to 
 the spot or, if she be an unwilling subject, 
 dragged there where the object selected is ; 
 and when she is there, she has only to exercise 
 a little common sense to know what the thing is. 
 If it be a candlestick, she is pushed or dragged 
 to, and she feels a downward pressure in the 
 direction of that object, she must be singularly 
 obtuse if she does not take it up ; and if, when 
 she has taken it up, she is " willed " to go to 
 where there is a match-box or a bundle of spills 
 she would be denser still if she did not proceed 
 to light the candle, or, having lit it, to blow it 
 out if she receives muscular indications to that 
 effect. 
 
 ."How could she know she had to- blow out 
 the candle ? " I have heard credulous folk say, 
 after witnessing, open-mouthed, the termination 
 of such an experiment. " It is quite certain no 
 one told her to do so." 
 
 " That may be so," I have replied, " but in 
 such matters one does not need to be told by 
 word of mouth what to do ; signs are quite as 
 good as words." 
 
 " What, do you mean to say that those who 
 had hold of her signed for her to do so ? Really 
 this is monstrous." 
 pianation!" " Pardon me ; I don't mean to infer that they
 
 A Thought- Reader^ s Thoughts. 225 
 
 did it consciously, but that they did it uncon- 
 sciously : they believe they can ' will ' a per- 
 son to do a certain thing, and when they have 
 hold of the subject, the expression of their will 
 takes the form of muscular indications in direc- 
 tion of the object thought of. The lady goes 
 in that direction, takes up the object which is a 
 candlestick ; this done, the ' willers,' who have 
 determined that she shall light the candle, give 
 further muscular indications of what their inten- 
 tions are. These she follows out, and having 
 lit the candle, she is desired to blow it out : she, 
 I agree with you, is not told to do so in words ; 
 but when a person's face is brought level with 
 the flame of a candle from the pressure of those 
 who are holding her, she must be either very 
 obstinate or very stupid if she does not blow it 
 out." 
 
 But your out-and-out believer in " willing" re- The reply 
 
 fuses to accept any such explanation, preferring to p f the"tm 
 J . ... . & believer.' 
 
 believe that one person s will is exercised over an- 
 other in some inexplicable way, wholly indepen- 
 dent of any muscular indications. Some people 
 even go so far as to say that I do not understand 
 my own experiments, the theory that I have ad- 
 vanced affording a wholly inadequate explana- 
 tion of some of the things I have performed. 
 This, I cannot help thinking, is somewhat 
 ridiculous, for I certainly should be the best 
 judge of what I myself perform. 
 
 In the following and concluding chapter, I 
 have given a brief explanation of the modus 
 
 Q
 
 226 A Thought- Reader* s Thoughts. 
 
 operandi of thought-reading, and I can only 
 hope that much of the mystery which has sur- 
 rounded experiments of this kind will for once 
 and all be dispelled thereby. 
 
 Those who " Who make the best ' subjects ' ? " is another 
 best^sub- i ues tion I am frequently asked, to which I can 
 jects." only reply that whilst some persons actually 
 are more suitable for experiments of this kind 
 than others, every intelligent, thoughtful man 
 who will act up to the conditions imposed upon 
 him, is sure to be a " good subject," and that with 
 such folk, I, in nine cases out of ten should be 
 successful. It may also be safely said that the 
 higher one goes, the more certain the chances 
 of success ; for small-minded people do not 
 hesitate to trick and lie in their desire to be con- 
 sidered smarter than the " operator," whilst the 
 truly great in thought and position, having once 
 undertaken to observe the conditions, never stoop 
 to such pettiness. 
 
 Taking all in all, I have found the best " sub- 
 jects " among statesmen, diplomatists, mathema- 
 ticians, literary men, and all those engaged in 
 active brain-work. Whilst, at different times, I 
 have been brought in contact with almost every 
 statesman and diplomatist of note, and have 
 successfully experimented with the majority of 
 those I have met, there are still some with whom 
 I have not had an opportunity of trying my 
 hand. Prince Bismarck, for instance, I have as 
 yet been unable to do more than observe ; but 
 I am in hopes of eventually having an opportu-
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 227 
 
 nity of seeing how the great statesman thinks. 
 His Highness, I know, is interested in my work, 
 but on each occasion I was in Berlin, the pres- 
 sure upon his time prevented him from giving 
 the time necessary for a careful investigation of 
 my experiments, and Prince Bismarck is not the 
 man to do things by halves. The Princess Bis- 
 marck, Count William, and the Count and 
 Countess Rantzau (Count Herbert was away 
 from Berlin), however, assisted at some ofmy 
 seances ; and I found Count William an excellent 
 "subject." 
 
 The Princess struck me as being an exceed- Princess 
 ingly amiable, kind-hearted woman, and her Blsmarck 
 frankness, general unassumingness, and the 
 absence of all " side," impressed me much. 
 " Side " is peculiarly English, and you seldom 
 meet with it on the continent. The Frenchman 
 may be priggish, the Russian bearish, the Italian 
 vain, the Spaniard formal, and the German stiff; 
 but the " stand off, I don't know you and don't 
 want to know you " air is the sort of thing only 
 met with in this country. 
 
 Prince Bismarck is always depicted as a stern, p r j nce 
 unbendable man of ' blood and iron/ fierce in Bismarck. 
 his passions and relentless in his hatreds ; but the 
 gentler side of his character appears to have 
 been overlooked by his critics. He struck me 
 as being first of all a man of indomitable will, as 
 instanced in the knitted brows, the determined- 
 ness of the lips, and the steely, steadfast look of 
 the eyes ; but this I took to be the outer man, 
 Q 2
 
 228 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 the steel casket encasing the jewel ; for there 
 is an inner Bismarck, wholly distinct from that 
 outer Bismarck which the world sees and forms 
 its judgment upon. 
 
 The outer The inner Bismarck is a creature of 
 Bismarck profound human sympathies and of almost 
 shrinking sensitiveness, just, truthful, honest 
 and loyal ; but how far the outer man controls 
 the inner one, I at present at least am unable 
 to say. 
 
 Bismarck has been censured for the relent- 
 lessness with which he is said to hate ; but I 
 must confess that I admire a good hater, and 
 I do not hold in any great esteem the man 
 who turns the other cheek to the smiter. 
 
 The implacable hater, who neither forgives 
 nor forgets, and whose enmity is at once 
 straightforward and apparent, has at least 
 strength of character; and is worth a million 
 of the ' say-nothing-to-nobody ' sort of folk, who 
 whilst with true Christian humility are offering 
 the unsmitten cheek, are inwardly praying that 
 at some future time they may be fully revenged 
 upon you. 
 
 If a man with malice prepense does me an 
 injury, I, instead of praying for that man or 
 requesting him to do me another injury, am, I 
 fear, sufficiently human to desire the eye for 
 the eye, and the tooth for the tooth. I have 
 no liking for the man who hates to-day, and 
 makes it up to-morrow, only to hate again the 
 day after.
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 229 
 
 Another person I hold in but little esteem is The all- 
 the all-round popular man. For no man can p^ ar 
 be popular with every one unless he is one of man, 
 two things, either a most unmitigated humbug, 
 or a man with absolutely no will of his own. 
 No truly great man can possibly be universally 
 popular ; for to do this you must be continually 
 holding the candle to the devil, or for ever saying 
 yes to everybody's yes, and no to his no ; and 
 directly you venture to say no to another man's 
 yes, you, as a general thing, at once lose with 
 him whatever popularity you may have pos- 
 sessed. To be on good terms with the world, 
 you must agree with it in everything, for there 
 is nothing that a man next to your knowing 
 more than he does dislikes so much as to find 
 any one in disagreement with him. If a man 
 moves out of the rut of commonplace, and ven- 
 tures to make his own pace, he is at once con- 
 sidered odd, whilst to be outspoken with respect 
 to the shams and frivolities with which life is 
 surrounded is the surest thing in the world to 
 make himself enemies. For society hates to be 
 told of its frivolities, or to be reminded of its 
 shams, and holds dear none b.ut those who call 
 its follies wisdom, and who turn the blind eye to 
 its hypocrisies. 
 
 It, therefore, invariably happens that the per- 
 son of whom every one has a good word to say 
 the person whom " you are sure to like" will be 
 altogether disappointing ; whilst the alleged dis- 
 agreeable man who is sure to have something
 
 230 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 striking about him, or he would not be called 
 disagreeable will, in nine cases out of ten, turn 
 out to be just the opposite. The bulk of man- 
 kind are not only exceedingly commonplace, but 
 they have no power of discernment, and they 
 see in the man who is precisely in accord with 
 them in all things, and who has not sufficient 
 strength of character to be otherwise, everything 
 that is charming and agreeable, whilst the man 
 who, by virtue of his individuality, happens to 
 upset any one of their cherished commonplace 
 convictions, is certain to be unpopular, 
 and the But my experience has taught me that the 
 
 unpopular s f- r i c tly popular man will never put himself out 
 
 man. J r r r 
 
 of the way to do anything for you, whilst the, 
 in the world's eyes, unpopular man will invari- 
 ably do whatever you in reason may require of 
 him. For the simple reason that the former is, 
 as a rule, a coward and a snob at heart, and is 
 fearful of helping you" lest he might jeopardize 
 his popularity and there is nothing that society 
 resents so much as this doing something for 
 another whilst the latter, who is almost sure to 
 be a man of sterling worth, doesn't care a snap 
 of the fingers what other people think, but acts 
 upon his own judgment. 
 
 Now and again, of course, you come across a 
 man who is naturally disagreeable, and who 
 deserves all that is said of him ; whilst there are 
 others who have their right side and their 
 wrong side, and you have to be careful how 
 you take them. It is, however, as a rule, your
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 231 
 
 own fault if you do not get on with them. But 
 the world which never admits itself to be in 
 the wrong will, of course, assert that it is the 
 man's fault because he is out of joint with it ; 
 for it is for him to be like the rest of the world, 
 and not for the rest of the world to be making 
 allowance for his peculiarities. Clearly a man 
 has no right to be different from the majority of 
 mankind ; and so rank a heresy as individuality 
 ought to be discountenanced in the strongest 
 possible manner. 
 
 Yet, see what a grand figure Bismarck, with Individu- 
 his marked individuality, presents ! The cold, a lty ' 
 calculating man of blood and iron, pitiless in 
 his hate and despotic in thought and deed, if 
 you will, but still the arbiter of peace or war, 
 and the centre-piece upon which the eyes of the 
 whole world are riveted ; and at his feet I, for 
 one, am proud to sit and admire. 
 
 Since Gortchakoff died, Bismarck has had no 
 rival worthy of his steel, for between the great 
 Russian and his successor there is a broad 
 gulf. 
 
 It was not my good fortune to meet Prince Prince 
 Gortchakoff but I have had the honour 
 
 meeting M. de Giers, who, although he has ^: cle 
 none of Gortchakoff's greatness, is a remark- 
 able man in many ways. In manner he is quiet 
 and reserved, and he has a nervous way of 
 pacing up and down the room whilst he is con- 
 versing with you. His features are of the Semitic 
 type, whilst his eyes are of extraordinary size ;
 
 232 A T hought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 not full staring orbs, but soft and shy like a 
 gazelle's. It is a face that once seen is not likely 
 to be forgotten. 
 
 M. de Giers is a hard-working, plodding man, 
 patient under rebuffs, and with a quiet persist- 
 ency that causes, in the end, many seemingly 
 impossible things to become possible ; but his 
 best friend would not, I think, say he was a 
 man of great parts. He is useful, but he is not 
 powerful ; and whilst at heart a man of peace, 
 it is little that he could do to stay the dogs of 
 war if the real power behind the throne had 
 determined upon their being loosed. 
 
 The policy M. de Giers does not create a policy, but 
 
 Giers. simply prepares to order ; he is the figure that 
 
 works, but other hands pull the strings. 
 
 Just now, Russia's policy, as declared at St. 
 Petersburg, is " peace and good-will to all man- 
 kind ; " and M. de Giers is the man for the 
 moment. But, in the event of war, the reins of 
 government would, I doubt not, pass into firmer 
 hands. 
 
 I say in the event of war, for these piping 
 days of peace are believe me, not going to last 
 for ever. 
 
 It is just possible that, after all, Russia may 
 mean well ; but I, for one, am no great believer 
 in Russia's peaceful professions. If Russia can 
 get to Constantinople, she will, and the same 
 may be said of India ; and the protection of our 
 Eastern dependency does not lie in Russia's 
 disinterested avowals, but in our readiness and
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 233 
 
 strength to resist attack. When Russia is most WhenRus- 
 peaceful she is most dangerous ; and when she 
 
 is most profuse in her protestations that her she is most 
 
 . , , , dangerous. 
 
 intentions are strictly honourable, one does 
 not require to be a thought-reader to tell that 
 she in reality is actuated by quite a different 
 policy. 
 
 I am far from being a Russophobe, for, in 
 spite of its hateful bureaucracy, there is much 
 in Russia that I like and admire ; but that 
 does not prevent my distrusting that country's 
 foreign policy. It is only natural that Russia 
 should want all she can get ; but it behoves us 
 to see that she doesn't get what we want, or 
 what we have already got. Were I a Russian, 
 the foreign policy that Russia adopts would 
 doubtless commend itself to me ; but being an 
 Englishman, it doesn't. 
 
 General Ignatieff, of whom I have already 
 related my impressions, is, without doubt, one of 
 the ablest diplomatists in Russia ; and he 
 appears to have stepped in front of the veteran Count 
 diplomat, Count Peter Schouvaloff, the at one e er 
 
 Schouva- 
 
 time Ambassador in London. Count Peter, loff. 
 during the reign of the late Tzar, was all- 
 powerful, so much so that his power was said to 
 be greater even than that of the Tzar, and he 
 went by the name of Peter IV. ; but he has of 
 late fallen somewhat from .his high estate, and 
 his influence in Russia at the present moment 
 is relatively small. He, unlike his brother, the 
 present Ambassador at Berlin, is not a persona
 
 234 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 grata with the Emperor, who with all his 
 natural kindliness and generous instincts, is a 
 man of strong prejudices and of a somewhat 
 unforgiving nature ; and his Majesty does not 
 forget certain events which occurred years ago 
 when Count Peter was head of the Third 
 Section, and he was simply his father's second 
 son, with no apparent prospect of succeeding to 
 the throne. 
 
 Peter Schouvaloff is a kindly, courteous 
 gentleman, a thorough man of the world, and 
 much courted by society. As a thought- 
 reading subject, I found him somewhat distrait, 
 and not easy to read, but, at the same time, 
 thoroughly honest. Both he and his brother 
 were exceedingly attentive to me when I was 
 in St. Petersburg, and I am indebted to them 
 for many little kindnesses. Count Paul, the 
 most hospitable of men, seemed to be quite 
 disappointed when, on leaving for Warsaw, I 
 called to say good-bye ; and there was nothing 
 more that he could do for me. 
 
 Count Paul " You have come to say good-bye ? " he said, in 
 Schouva- his f ran i Cj cheery way ; " but what, mon ami, 
 does this good-bye mean ? We, in Russia, do 
 not understand the word. We understand an 
 revoir ; but for one who has been with us so 
 short a time to come and say good-bye, that is 
 a thing we don't understand. But if it must be 
 and I see it must well ' good-bye ' and 
 good luck, and remember us to General and 
 Madame Gourko ;" and pressing some letters of
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 235 
 
 introduction upon me, with a hearty shake of 
 the hand, we parted. 
 
 Of all the diplomatists with whom I have Count 
 experimented, Count Julius Andrassy gave me ^j ls 
 the most trouble. Talleyrand has told us that as a " sub 
 language was given to man to disguise his ject '' 
 thoughts, and I certainly know of no man who 
 runs Ignatieff so close in the ability to make 
 words serve as a cloak to hide his intentions as 
 Andrassy. His Excellency is a limp, placid 
 man, with an air of the most perfect nonchalance ; 
 and I found it practically impossible to pierce 
 his natural listlessness ; and it seemed to be a 
 matter of complete indifference to him whether 
 I succeeded or failed in the experiment I was 
 trying. 
 
 Count Andrassy is a most astute politician, *? a P oliti - 
 
 C13.il 
 
 whom Prince Bismarck holds in the highest 
 regard ; I can vouch for the fact that no one is 
 better able to keep his thoughts to himself than 
 he. Count Andrassy is always the diplomat, 
 and, in order to find what the actual man was 
 like, one would have to 'scratch pretty deep ; 
 whilst the extraordinary control that he has over 
 his muscles enables him to avoid giving, unless 
 he is so disposed, any indication in that direction. 
 
 Although not quite so bad as Alexandre 
 Dumas who, among distinguished men, I look 
 upon as my worst " subject" Count Andrassy 
 was a very bad " subject " in fact one of the 
 worst. 
 
 The celebrated Frenchman had a deep interest
 
 236 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 in thought- reading, and, although he undoubtedly 
 did his best to act up to the conditions, I 
 experienced the greatest difficulty in getting at 
 his thoughts. 
 
 M. Alex- M Dumas is singularly unemotional, and it 
 
 and re 
 
 Dumas, is not easy to understand how so hard and 
 
 matter-of-fact a man can so skilfully portray 
 the emotions of others. I had, from his 
 writings, expected to have met in M. Dumas a 
 warm-hearted man, full of fire and enthusiasm, 
 and I must confess to have been somewhat taken 
 aback when I discovered how cold and unsym- 
 pathetic, almost unto gloominess, he, in reality, 
 was. He prides himself on his will-power and 
 power of self-control, and he would probably 
 consider any emotional display on his part as 
 being little short of a crime. 
 
 An experi- Difficult, however, as M. Dumas was, I 
 ment with even t U ally succeeded with him. The experi- 
 
 M. Dumas, , i i i_ 
 
 ment consisted of finding an article which he 
 had hid somewhere in his daughter's house, 
 where I was spending the evening ; and I never 
 had such a chase after a thing before. Upstairs 
 and downstairs we went, now fast, and now 
 slow, whirling this way and that way, until I 
 became completely exhausted. But still my 
 "subject" gave no indication of the where- 
 abouts of the article thought of, remaining, as 
 from the first, in passive antagonism. Not a 
 muscle of his body twitched, nor did his pulse 
 throb one beat faster the whole time; and were 
 it not for the fact that the hand I grasped was of
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 237 
 
 flesh and blood, I certainly might have thought 
 that I was operating with an automaton. 
 
 How it was I got on the right tack at last, in whfch I 
 I cannot say ; but I did so, and finally found ^^ffi. 
 the object. Perhaps M. Dumas relaxed his cuhies, 
 will somewhat, or had become wearied with 
 the continued junketing about the room, and 
 wished it over ; anyhow, I suddenly received an 
 indication to go in a certain direction, and, 
 following it up, I came to a cabinet in an 
 adjoining room, before which we paused. Even 
 then M. Dumas seemed in antagonism to me, 
 and I had the greatest difficulty in getting him 
 to think of the exact place in that cabinet where 
 the object was. This he did with what 
 appeared to me, standing there blindfolded 
 with his hand in mine, some reluctancy ; but I 
 received a sufficiently correct impression to 
 make for one of the drawers, which I pulled 
 out. In this drawer was a packet, and, taking 
 it up, I said, " This is the thing." 
 
 To which M. Dumas made no reply. 
 
 This puzzled me, for I was certain that unless 
 my " subject " had been purposely leading me 
 astray, the packet was the object thought 
 of. 
 
 " This is the thing," I repeated, taking off my 
 blindfold. 
 
 " Well ! " was the simple rejoinder, as he eyed 
 me coldly, I might almost say sternly. 
 
 "Well, if that is all, my task is done," I said, 
 laying the packet on the table.
 
 238 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 " But it is not all," replied M. Dumas without 
 moving a muscle. 
 
 " All right/' I said, somewhat disheartened, 
 " I must try again then, for I am determined to 
 succeed with you." So I blindfolded myself 
 again, and re-took M. Dumas by the hand ; 
 but his thoughts still went to the uninteresting 
 brown paper parcel, which I took up and 
 turned over, fumbled at the string tied round it, 
 and at last, from .sheer desperation rather than 
 inspiration, tore open the cover. 
 
 " I feel," I said, " that you want this thing 
 to stay with me ; for whenever I put it down 
 your thoughts go to it, as if you wish it picked 
 up again, and, when I pick it up, your thoughts, 
 as it were, come to a standstill." 
 
 but in the " You are quite right," he replied ; " it is 
 end am meant for you : that is the experiment." 
 
 successful* 
 
 " Meant for me ?" I said to myself; " what on 
 earth is it ? " And, pulling off the cover, I saw a 
 copy of " La Dame aux Camellias" and in it 
 was written, "A M. Cumberland, hommage de 
 Fauteur, Alexandre Dumas." 
 
 " I never thought you would be able to find 
 it," he said, " for I am not what you would term 
 a bon sujet ; " and, at the recollection of the 
 difficulty I had had with him, he smiled. It 
 was a cold, wintry, cheerless sort of smile, but 
 still it was the first I had seen upon his face 
 during the whole evening. 
 
 In spite, however, of his unsympathetic 
 exterior and repellant manner, Alexandre
 
 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 239 
 
 Dumas is at heart by no means unkindly ; A kindly 
 and the test which he had arranged for me an d"f 
 showed the kindly bent of his thoughts, whilst strong will, 
 his natural self-willedness put every obstacle in 
 my way of carrying the experiment to a suc- 
 cessful conclusion. It appears that had I not 
 found the book by reading his thoughts, the 
 author had intended placing it in my hands on 
 leaving. 
 
 M. Dumas, I should add, goes to bed at A great 
 an early hour, 1 and immediately upon the 
 conclusion of the experiment, he returned to 
 his sanctum, where he invited me to join him, 
 and smoke a cigar. This I was afterwards 
 informed was a very great honour. 
 
 Amongst English diplomatists, I have found Sir 
 some excellent " subjects ;" and it would be 
 difficult to say which was the best ; but if there 
 was one with whom I was more rapidly 
 successful than another, it was Sir Edward 
 Malet, our ambassador at Berlin. 
 
 Sir Edward is one of the most sym- 
 pathetic men I know, and the beau-ideal 
 subject for thought-reading. As a diplomatist 
 he is a success, because he is not for ever 
 
 1 His daily life is, according to what one hears, a model 
 of regularity. In summer he rises at six, and in winter 
 at seven. On rising, he drinks a glass of milk, and at 
 noon he takes his breakfast, a plain, simple meal. His 
 dinner-hour is seven, and by ten he is generally in bed. 
 His work is therefore done in the daytime. This is not 
 as it used to be. but as it is now, for Alexandre Dumas is 
 beginning to feel old.
 
 240 A Thought* Reader* s Thoughts. 
 
 attempting to over-reach those with whom he 
 has diplomatic relations, and thus avoids 
 roughing up those with whom it is imperative 
 he should get on smoothly. Diplomats have 
 their weak sides like other folk ; and there is 
 nothing they resent so much as another's 
 persistent attempts to get the better of them ; 
 and it not infrequently happens that the sharp, 
 shrewd man who distrusts every one, and 
 gives himself away to no one, makes the most 
 unsuccessful diplomatist ; for to be successful in 
 diplomacy, one must have a certain measure of 
 popularity, and your would-be MachiavelH 
 invariably manages to make himself generally 
 unpopular. The first thing a diplomatist 
 should be is a gentleman ; the second, an 
 honest man ; and the third, firm and (as far as 
 possible) truthful in all his dealings. 
 The duties In these days a diplomatist has little else 
 ofadiplo- O ^Q beyond maintaining the dignity of the 
 country he represents, and making himself 
 socially agreeable ; and this art Sir Edward 
 Malet thoroughly understands. 
 
 Our One ^ n England we are not much given to hero- 
 Man idea, worship, but we are apparently great believers 
 in the One Man idea, causing us to look upon 
 Lord Wolseley as our only general ; Mr. Glad- 
 stone (up to very recently) as our only states- 
 man; and Lord Dufferin as our only diplomatist. 
 How far popular opinion has been correct with 
 regard to the two first-named, I, in my 
 inexperience of such matters, must leave it to
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 241 
 
 others to say; but with respect to Lord 
 Dufferin, numerous opportunities have been 
 afforded me of forming an independent opinion 
 upon the work done by him, and, in the result, 
 I am not inclined to question the decision which 
 the British public has arrived at. 
 
 Lord Dufferin is remarkable not only for his j>ufferin 
 ability but for his popularity ; and he is about 
 the only man of note I can think of who comes 
 up to all the good things that are said of him. 
 Brilliant in conversation and fascinating in 
 manner, he charms all with whom he comes in 
 contact, and no man living knows better how to 
 retain a friend or to convert a foe. His tact is his ability 
 something extraordinary, and no one ever heard and tact - 
 of his making a faux pas. 
 
 Your all-round amiable man is, as a rule, 
 either weak or lacking in dignity, but Lord 
 Dufferin is neither, and he manages to blend 
 dignity with amiability with the greatest pos- 
 sible success. Lord Dufferin's motto is that 
 politeness is a salve that heals many wounds ; 
 and no one who has the faintest claims to his 
 recognition remains unnoticed. This has been Lord 
 
 singularly exemplified in his dealings with the Dufferin 
 J , .... and the 
 
 natives, who have been treated during. his vice- natives of 
 
 royalty with a consideration hitherto unknown. India - 
 Lord Dufferin has not made the mistake of con- 
 sidering one class of the community only and 
 that the noisiest and most unworthy but he 
 has done his best to consider all classes, making 
 distinctions where distinctions were necessary^
 
 242 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts* 
 
 at the same time taking due precautions against 
 wounding the susceptibilities of any one. He 
 has, it is true, not pandered to that section of 
 the community which manages to find so many 
 sympathizers amongst the sentimentalists in this 
 country, who know no more about India and 
 Indian affairs than the man in the moon, but in 
 cementing the friendship of the various native 
 princes, he has done a thousand times better. 
 Lord Dufferin is far-seeing enough to know 
 that in time of danger, those who now cry out 
 most would serve us the least ; and that the 
 true support would come from those who have 
 swords in their hands and armies at their 
 backs. 
 
 The policy It is not for me to criticize Lord Ripon's 
 Kipon. policy, but this much I can say, that whatever 
 may be the outcome of it in the future, it has in 
 the present been productive of nothing but dis- 
 content ; and one hears more disloyalty uttered 
 to-day than at any time since the mutiny. 
 The voice It is simply ridiculous because a number of 
 ealiBaboo" Baboo agitators air their vanity or spleen in the 
 public press, and on the platform, to imagine there 
 is any real national movement on foot in India in 
 the direction of what is termed constitutionalism. 
 There is a good deal of talk in this country just 
 now about the "just aspirations of the Indian 
 people," but who and what are the " Indian 
 people" no one seems to be very clear; and 
 public opinion runs the risk of being led astray 
 in the clamour that is being raised.
 
 A T hought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 243 
 
 The British public knows less of India than 
 of any of our dependencies; and the fact that 
 Bengal is not all India, and that the Bengalis 
 have no more right to speak for India than the 
 Secessionist Province of Nova Scotia to speak 
 for the whole of Canada, seems to be entirely 
 overlooked, even by those who ought to know 
 better. 
 
 The Bengali Baboo, with his silk hat and 
 patent leather shoes, to be seen in London 
 drawing-rooms and on the electioneering stage, 
 no more represents Indian native opinion than 
 a converted redskin, similarly attired, could be 
 said to represent the various tribes of North 
 America. The Baboo simply represents a 
 class the most disloyal and objectionable class 
 in all India. There is nothing in common 
 between him and the Mahommedans, the Sikhs, 
 the Mahrattas, and the Rajputs, who view him 
 alike with hatred and contempt ; and were it 
 not for our presence in India, would make short 
 work of him and his class. Sir Lepel Griffin, 
 one of the ablest of Anglo-Indian officials, as 
 well as perhaps the most fearless, is all for 
 keeping the Baboo in his place, for there is no 
 knowing to what this constant preaching of 
 sedition may tend. In a speech to the natives Sir Lepel 
 
 of Central India the other day, Sir Lepel, re- griffin on 
 
 * ' Babooism. 
 
 ferring to the Baboos, whose clamour was just 
 
 then at its loudest, said : " You are their 
 
 superiors in ability, in strength, and in courage ; 
 
 they are only your superiors in noise and volu- 
 
 R 2
 
 244 ^ Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 bility. If they should be your leaders, it would 
 be an army of lions commanded by grass- 
 hoppers." 
 
 How true this is any one who has had any 
 acquaintance with the Bengalis will know. 
 The East India Company found the Bengalis 
 the. " willing and humble slaves of any strong 
 master," and as such they remained as long as 
 they were under the Company's rule. But im- 
 mediately India passed out of the hands of the 
 Company into those of her Majesty's Govern- 
 ment, all this was changed, and the Bengalis, 
 from being the cringing servants of the past, 
 became the Government's favoured proteges, 
 
 Tlicevolu- an( j to-day they aim at being the Government's 
 
 tion of the y _ ; 
 
 Baboo. masters. This is a sorry return for all the 
 
 paternal care that has been bestowed upon 
 them ; but gratitude is the last thing that con- 
 cerns a Bengali. He forgets that he owes his 
 independence, his improved condition, and all 
 the education that he boasts so much of to 
 British rule ; and, like the viper that has been 
 warmed in the philanthropist's bosom, turns 
 round and rends his benefactor. 
 
 Those who have encouraged the latter develop- 
 ments of Babooism have much to answer for ; 
 and it will probably take years to undo if ever 
 it is undone the mischief that has been wrought; 
 for, emboldened by the absence of all apparent 
 risk, and encouraged by the sentimentalists at 
 home, the agitators have gone on preaching 
 sedition until to-day the discontent is no 1 'ger
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 245 
 
 confined to Bengal, but has spread to other 
 provinces ; whilst the loyal races of India, the 
 " army of lions," as Sir Lepel Griffin would put 
 it, wonder how such a thing could be. Hold- 
 ing as they do the Bengalis in such sovereign 
 contempt, they naturally resent the statement 
 that the voice of Babooism is the true voice of 
 native India. But .whilst a jackass brays a lion 
 is silent ; and we over here know nothing of 
 what the bone and sinew of India as distinct 
 from the flabby, loquacious agitators who 
 never fail to make themselves heard, really 
 think. 
 
 Ask the Nizam of Hyderabad, the most What the 
 powerful prince in India, the Maharajahs offices 
 Gwalior, Indore and Mysore, the Maharajahs, thmk. 
 Rajahs, and Thakores of Rajputana and Katti- 
 war, or any of the warlike chiefs of Northern 
 India, what they think of the Bengalis, and if 
 the voice of the Baboo is the voice of India. I 
 asked this over and over again, and the answer 
 was always in the negative ; whilst one great 
 prince to whom I put the question pointed to his 
 sword and said, " That would be our answer had 
 we a free hand." 
 
 There are doubtless many anomalies still exist- 
 ing in connection with our rule in India, but 
 Babooism which is entirely self-seeking, aims . 
 at the upsetting of our rule rather than the 
 remedying of abuses is not a movement 
 calculated to do much in the matter of reform. 
 
 A true sympathizer with genuine native sen-
 
 246 A Thought-Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 The Ba- timent, Lord Dufferin does not hold with 
 l^ord^Duf- Babooism, and I am not surprised to hear that 
 ferin. the Baboo agitators have taken exception to a 
 memorial to his Excellency on the ground that 
 he has " failed to carry out the policy of Lord 
 Ripon." The memorial takes, I believe, the 
 form of a statue of Lord Dufferin and a portrait 
 of Lady Dufferin ; and it is, I suppose, specially 
 hurtful to these malcontents, that the memory 
 of the present viceroy shall be so perpetuated 
 when beyond the highly coloured prints posted 
 up in the Calcutta or Bombay bazaars of (so 
 runs the Baboo English explaining the daub) 
 " His Honoured Enormity, Lord Ripon "- 
 there is nothing of the " People's Friend " in 
 the way of art upon which they can feast their 
 eyes. 
 
 The good Respecting Lord Dufferin's policy in connec- 
 tion with B u r mah, and the general policy of his 
 
 and Lady administration it is not for me to express an 
 Dufferin. . . , , . , , 
 
 opinion, my task being simply to touch upon 
 
 matters which came under my personal observa- 
 tion whilst in India ; and so far as I could 
 judge, Lord Dufferin appeared to have won the 
 admiration and respect of every thinking person 
 in India, and to have aroused in quarters where 
 most desired a feeling of loyalty towards the 
 Crown, whilst Lad}' Dufferin's generous efforts to 
 improve the condition of the women of India will 
 be known to every reader of current literature. 
 The With respect to the Baboo, it is strange that 
 
 swagger. no visitor to India who sees much of him has a
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 247 
 
 good word to say for him. His arrogance and 
 swaggering insolence impress you unfavourably 
 at first sight, and he is an animal that does not 
 improve on acquaintance ; indeed, the more 
 you know of him the more you dislike him, and 
 you eventually come to the conclusion that 
 nothing short of a good sound kicking will ever 
 teach him politeness, and the most Christian of 
 men who have much to do with him are often 
 sorely tempted to commit an assault. 
 
 I have, I fear, not a very great stock of i a m 
 patience ; and on one occasion a Baboo ticket- tem Pt e(l 
 
 to ' forget 
 
 seller at one of the stations so completely ex* myself." 
 hausted the little I possess, that I was sorely 
 tempted to " forget myself." But with a supreme 
 effort (for which I take great pride to myself, 
 the provocation being great), I restrained myself, 
 and simply told him he was a donkey. 
 
 Never shall I forget the look upon that man's 
 face when that awful word left my lips. Horror, 
 hatred, and disgust quickly followed each other, 
 and, as I watched him, I wondered if so mild a 
 form of opprobrium could so deeply move him, 
 what would have been the effect of something 
 more emphatic ? 
 
 " I I, donkey ! " he stammered, as if he could A Baboo's 
 
 , ,. , . indigna- 
 
 not believe his own ears. t i on 7 
 
 He a donkey, a full-fledged Baboo, who had 
 probably taken his degree at the Calcutta 
 University, and \\ho could not only recite 
 "Paradise Lost" from memory, but probably 
 write original verse he a donkey !
 
 248 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 WelL it certainly was a terrible epithet to 
 make use of to so distinguished a man ; but, as 
 I have already said, the provocation was great. 
 He had kept me waiting fiddling with my 
 ticket, which, in spite of all his erudition, he 
 appeared to be unable to make head or tail of, 
 whilst the train, already late, was on the point 
 of going without me. 
 
 "You called me a donkey, did you not ?" he 
 said, as soon as he could find sufficient breath to 
 get out the phrase. 
 
 " I certainly did ; but as it appears to have 
 hurt your feelings, I won't repeat it, although 
 your stupidity bids fair to make me lose my 
 train/' 
 
 He muttered something to himself, and then 
 
 turned his attention to the tickets, which he 
 
 eventually mastered and returned to me with 
 
 Tremble the remark that if Lord Ripon had been at 
 
 R}pon's r Calcutta, I wouldn't have dared to have made 
 
 name. use of such a word ; and that as it uas he had a 
 
 good mind to report me. 
 
 Poor man ! he thought I was an official, and 
 the encouragement which he and his had 
 received under the previous administration had 
 so mounted his head that as he sat half asleep 
 in his ticket-box where I came to disturb him, 
 he was probably dreaming of the high post he 
 would hold when the native element took its 
 proper place in government of the country. 
 Hence the tears. 
 
 But the story has a sequel.
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 249 
 
 Tlie Baboo, unburdened his vexed soul to a 
 friend of mine, and asked his advice upon the 
 matter. 
 
 My friend, who is a bit of a wag, assured him 
 that he had misunderstood me, and that instead 
 of being offended, he in fact ought to be rejoiced. 
 
 There were, he pointed out, two words pre- A term of 
 cisely similar in sound, one was " donkey," and 
 the other " donkee" and that whilst to call a man 
 the former was anything but polite, the latter 
 was an especial term of endearment. 
 
 The Baboo replied that he was not aware of 
 this, and that he only knew of the one word. 
 
 This my friend explained came of his not 
 knowing any European language but English, 
 " donkee " being a foreign word. 
 
 " I have just left the Baboo," wrote my friend 
 to me some time after ; "he was busy poring 
 over sundry foreign dictionaries in the hope of 
 rinding the especial term of endearment. He 
 has been at it some days, but as yet success 
 has not rewarded his efforts. But he is still 
 hopeful." 
 
 The inhabitants of the native states, 2 whilst 
 lacking the Baboos' "superior education ,"are 
 their superiors in everything else, and their 
 allegiance is not a mere lip-loyalty, but one 
 that, when the time comes for putting it to the 
 ttst, will not, I believe, be found wanting. 
 
 The foremost in loyalty towards the British 
 
 2 In my new work on the East, I purpose dealing ex- 
 haustively with the Indian Native States and their rulers.
 
 250 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 TheNizam rule is undoubtedly the Nizam of Hyderabad, 
 
 had/' ^ the greatest of the feudatories. He is about 
 
 three-and twenty years of age, and is the son of 
 
 the Nizam Afzal-ud-Daula, who so firmly stood 
 
 by us during the Mutiny. 
 
 His full title, which runs as follows, takes a lot 
 of remembering : His Highness Sipah-Salar : 
 Muzaffar-ul-Mumalik : Rustam-i-Dauran : Aris- 
 tu-e-Zaman : Mir Mahbub Ali Khan Bahadur : 
 Fatheh Jang : Nizam-ud-Daula : Nizam-ul- 
 Mulk : Asaf Jah. 
 
 The founder of the present dynasty was one 
 Chin Kilich Khan, whose father had been a 
 favourite officer of Aurungzeb. He was an able 
 man of conspicuous courage, and he rapidly 
 rose in the favour of the Emperor, and whilst 
 comparatively young was made Viceroy of the 
 Deccan. There he exercised such undisputed 
 power that he eventually excited the jealousy 
 of the Emperor, who gave orders for his assassi- 
 nation. The task of carrying out the plot was 
 entrusted to Mobariz Khan, the local Governor 
 of Hyderabad, who, however, failed in the 
 attempt. The revolt he instigated was sup- 
 pressed, and he himself was slain. 
 
 The Nizam, who was a humorist, if of a some- 
 what grim kind, wrote to the Emperor con- 
 gratulating him on the successful suppression of 
 the revolt, sending him at the same time the 
 head of the " traitor " Mobariz. 
 
 This was in 1724, and henceforth Chin Kilich 
 Khan, who assumed the title of Nizam-ul-
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 251 
 
 Mulk conducted himself as an independent 
 prince. 
 
 The present Nizam has none of his great 
 ancestor's warlike qualities, but he is an intelli- 
 gent young prince of some ability, with a decided 
 will of his own. 
 
 As a boy, he was exceedingly delicate, and 
 spent much of his time with his mother, Wadid- 
 u-Nisa, Begam, and his grandmother, Dilwar-u- 
 Nisa, Begam, who did their best to spoil him. 
 He has outgrown somewhat the weakness of his 
 youth ; but he does not look particularly robust. 
 Small in stature, he, however, bears himself with 
 marked dignity, and gives you at once the im- 
 pression that he is fully conscious of the fact 
 that he is the First Prince in India. 3 He is 
 passionately fond of horse-racing, and is a 
 liberal patron of the local races. 
 
 We stayed some weeks in Hyderabad as 
 guests of Sir Salar Jung, the then Prime 
 Minister, and frequently came across the Nizam, 
 who went out of his way to show us attention. 
 
 On one occasion his Highness gave a dinner 
 in my honour, at which all the principal nobles 
 of his court were present. 
 
 In the East, time is no object, and the dinner Dining 
 
 11 i r i with the 
 
 did not take place till fully an hour after the Nizam. 
 appointed time. The guests had arrived, but 
 there was no host, and, pending his arrival, we 
 
 3 The area of the Nizam's dominions, including the 
 assigned districts of the Berars, exceeds by more than 
 10,000 square miles that of Great Britain, with a popula- 
 tion of about II.OOO.OOO.
 
 252 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 wandered about the palace. Presently cries 
 were heard in the gardens beyond, and, looking 
 out, I saw the flickering of torches in the dis- 
 tance. The sounds came nearer, mingled with 
 the sharp clatter of horses' feet. Then came a 
 rush of servants bearing flaming torches, and, 
 amidst a flood of light, his Highness' carriage 
 dashed up to the entrance-hall. The officials 
 made a deep obeisance as the Nizam entered, 
 and made way for him on all sides. 
 
 Singling me out, his Highness bade me follow 
 him, and, with much courtesy, he conducted me 
 to the dining-hall, where he sat me on his right. 
 
 Then ensued a curious scene. Every guest 
 before he took his seat had to catch the Nizam's 
 eye, and to make sundry salaams ; and the 
 sight of so many hands moving up and down 
 like the flapping of birds' wings was an exceed- 
 ingly novel one. 
 
 I was the only European present, and amidst 
 the flash of jewels and brilliant uniforms, my 
 plain evening dress seemed sombre in the ex- 
 treme. 
 
 At this.dinner every one, including the Nizam, 
 drank water, but by my side were placed the 
 choicest wines ; for although Mussulmen do not, 
 or are not supposed to, partake of strong drinks, 
 they, unlike the fanatics in this country, do 
 not object to wine or spirit-drinking in others. 
 In fact the native mind believes that the Euro- 
 pean requires spirits with every meal ; and I 
 have, whilst a guest of the various native
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 253 
 
 princes, been struck with the persistency with 
 which either brandy or whisky has been produced 
 from the early breakfast to the late dinner. But 
 when a native acquires a taste for spirits, he is 
 as immoderate in its uses as any Red Indian ; 
 and the favourite drink of a Maharajah of my A Maria- 
 acquaintance was an equal mixture of champagne [ 
 
 and brandy. This Maharajah, needless to say, good 
 
 , , ., ' , . drink. 
 
 was not always quite the thing. 
 
 The Nizam, who speaks English fluently, The 
 conversed with considerable intelligence upon 
 current matters, and seemed especially anxious 
 to know something about Russia, which country 
 I had recently visited. He ridiculed the idea 
 of there being any native sympathy with Russia, 
 and he assured me that he would be willing to 
 place his army and the resources of his state at 
 the disposal of the British Government in case 
 India were threatened. 
 
 " We," he said, " may not have all we want 
 under British rule, but we are undoubtedly 
 better off than we should be under that of 
 Russia. England respects our religion, and 
 allows us our liberty, but if India were to pass 
 into the hands of Russia, we should have neither; 
 and on religious grounds, at least, we Mussulmen 
 would resist to the death an invasion by Russia." 
 
 His Highness was most emphatic in his 
 manner, and I have every reason to believe 
 that he was perfectly sincere. The Prim 
 
 I took occasion the next day to speak with Mmister ' s 
 
 J f confirma- 
 
 Sir Salar Jung upon the matter, and his Excel- tion.
 
 254 -A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 lency, who is deeply loyal to us, assured me 
 that the facts were as stated by his Highness, 
 and that his Highness longed for an opportunity 
 of proving his loyalty. 
 
 This was months before anything was heard 
 of what has been called the Nizam's offer, and 
 it serves to prove what, irrespective of the 
 jugglery that has been practised in connection 
 with the proposed subsidy, his Highness' inten- 
 tions with regard to the matter really were. 
 
 The Nizam's proposal created an admirable 
 impression throughout India, and it was followed 
 up by substantial offers from almost all the 
 other native princes. 4 
 
 4 The Ameer, in an able article on the defence of 
 India, analyzes and discusses the various offers of money 
 and troops made by certain feudatory princes to the 
 Government. The total amount of money offered reaches 
 1,03,80,000 rupees, including Hyderabad 60,00,000 rupees, 
 Cashmere 10,00,000 rupees, Jodhpore 10,00,000 rupees, 
 Bhurtpore 8,00,000 rupees, Kota 6,00,000 rupees, Kapur- 
 thala 5,00,000 rupees, Nabha 4,00,000 rupees, and Maler 
 Kotla 80,000 rupees. These princes offer troops in addi- 
 tion. Of the other princes, the ruler of Mysore expresses 
 a wish to raise and maintain a suitable military force, 
 trained by British officers ; the ruler of Patiala offers 
 troops whenever required, the ruler of Bhawalpore a con- 
 tingent of troops and money aid, proportioned to his 
 resources ; the ruler of Tonk the services of himself, his 
 family, his troops, and the whole resources of his State; 
 the ruler of Alwar money and troops whenever required ; 
 the ruler of Rampore to defray the expense incurred in 
 raising and maintaining a native infantry regiment in 
 every war, together with all the resources of his State ; 
 the ruler of Mandi the services of himself and the re- 
 sources of his State ; the rulers of Suket and Mantes the 
 like ; the ruler of Loharu the services of himself, his 
 brothers, his property, and a caravan of fifty camels ; and 
 the ruler of Chamba land for cantonments.
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 255 
 
 Lord Dufferin, who at the time was much The fore- 
 blamed for not accepting the offer out-right, and Lord 
 was even accused of damping native ardour, saw, Dufferin. 
 with his usual acumen, that there was something 
 behind the proposal which had not come out, 
 and he postponed accepting it, pending further 
 inquiries. The result of these inquiries has not, 
 at the time I write, been made public, but suffi- 
 cient has already been discovered to warrant the 
 action taken by Lord Dufferin in the first in- 
 stance. 
 
 The originator of the proposal appears to have Abdul 
 been one Abdul Huk, whose name has of late Huk ' 
 been figuring in connection with certain railway 
 and mining concessions, which are to occupy 
 the attention of a select Committee appointed 
 by the House of Commons. 
 
 I do not like to throw stones at a man when 
 he is down, but the Sirdar did not impress me 
 favourably, and the conclusions I formed re- . 
 garding him were at the time pretty well known 
 in Hyderabad. He formed one of the deputa- 
 tion appointed by the Nizam to attend her 
 Majesty's Jubilee celebrations ; and it, to me, 
 seemed strange that a man with such a record 
 should have obtained that coveted position. 
 
 I do not aim at being a prophet, but the day 
 before Abdul's downfall I was lunching with an 
 ex-Cabinet Minister, and the conversation turned 
 upon India, and I gave my host a description of 
 the state of affairs existing at Hyderabad, in 
 which I included my impressions of the then all-
 
 256 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 powerful Sirdar, whose speedy downfall I ven- 
 tured to predict. The next day, like a bolt 
 from out of a clear sky, came a telegram 
 announcing the Sirdar's suspension. 
 
 Abdul Huk, who had all the swagger and 
 volubility of a Bengali baboo, was a great 
 favourite with London Society, whom he feasted 
 with great lavishness during his recent visit. 
 How uncomfortable some of the high and 
 mighty folk must feel at the thought of how the 
 money which paid for the sumptuous repasts 
 he provided for them was obtained. O tempora ! 
 
 mores ! 
 
 The As a subject for thought-reading, the Nizam 
 
 sublet aS a was not Q u it e so gd as some of the other 
 princes 5 with whom I experimented ; he was 
 too nervous and impetuous for any sustained 
 concentration of thought, but I managed to do 
 one or two very interesting experiments with 
 him. But with Sir Salar Jung, who, when he 
 likes to exert himself, is a man of considerable 
 concentration of thought, I had some very re- 
 markable successes ; and he was undoubtedly 
 the best " subject " I experimented with during 
 Sir Salar my stay in India. Sir Salar is a fairly able, 
 J un g- honest man, but he is woefully lazy, and 
 were it not for his love of idling, he would, 
 
 1 have no doubt, play an important part 
 in Indian politics. Yet Sir Salar is well- 
 
 4 The Maharajah of Mysore, a very intelligent man, 
 and the Thakore of Bhaonagar (probably the most en- 
 lightened ruler in India) were two of my best subjects.
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts* 257 
 
 informed, and his recent visit to England 
 served (if such a thing were possible) to 
 strengthen his regard for us. At present he is 
 in the shade ; but to-morrow may see him once 
 more in power, who knows ? Hyderabad is a 
 hot-bed of intrigue ; and one day one party has 
 the upper hand, and the next day another, and 
 so on and so on until the onlooker is bewildered 
 as to which is which. Hyderabad Residency is 
 considered the blue ribbon of Indian diplomacy^ 
 and the Resident there certainly has no sine- 
 cure. 
 
 One of the most competent and painstaking Mehdi All. 
 ministers of the Nizam's is Mehdi Ali, who is, I 
 understand, shortly to visit this country in con- 
 nection with what is called the " Hyderabad- 
 Deccan affair." He is a man not only thoroughly 
 conversant with all matters relating to his own 
 State, but he is well acquainted with Indian 
 affairs generally. In so corrupt a State as 
 Hyderabad, where it is difficult to find the one 
 honest man, it is gratifying to know that Mehdi 
 Ali is of undoubted probity, and that his loyalty 
 is altogether unquestionable. In India it in- 
 variably happens that the more corrupt a native 
 is the more disloyal he is; and I ^cannot help 
 thinking that Abdul Huk, in spite of his nu- 
 merous friends in England, would not have 
 proved the paragon of loyalty that .he was 
 supposed to be. 
 
 The most superstitious of the Indian native 
 princes is the Maharajah of Cashmere ; and I 
 
 S
 
 258 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 The shall never forget the expression of awe with 
 
 oi^ash-" 1 which he regarded me when I succeeded in 
 meie - reading his thoughts. 
 
 His Highness thought of a word in Dogra (a 
 Cashmerian hill patois] a language of which, 
 needless to say, I knew absolutely nothing, yet 
 I experienced no difficulty in writing the word 
 OR the wall of his palace in Dogra characters. 
 His Highness was very anxious to secure my 
 services for his State, and he seemed to be quite 
 disappointed when he found that I was alto- 
 gether unable to accept the post which he was 
 desirous of conferring upon me. It appears that 
 he had little or no faith in his advisers, and his 
 great object in retaining me was that I might be 
 able to read their thoughts, and tell him when 
 they lied, and if they were becoming unduly rich 
 at his expense. 
 
 A present His Highness sent my wife a shawl (worth 
 Highness, about 2OO/.) as a souvenir, which, after many 
 vicissitudes, finally reached us ; for each official, 
 through whose hands it passed, appeared to have 
 acquired an unaccountable affection for it, and it 
 was solely owing to the energetic action of Sir 
 Oliver St. John (whom I have to thank for many 
 little kindnesses whilst in India), then Resident 
 at Cashmere, that the shawl ever arrived at its 
 destination. 
 
 The Indian princes, whilst making much of 
 me whenever I visited their States, were in some 
 cases inclined to look upon me with something 
 akin to awe. Several of them thought me
 
 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 259 
 
 supernaturally endowed, whilst many a peccant 
 minister would shut up his thoughts, as it were, 
 whenever he met me, or avoid me whenever he 
 saw me coming. 
 
 In time of trouble I could, I think, turn my 
 influence in some of these Native States to good 
 account. 
 
 As in Europe so in the East, people were 
 constantly asking me if I could apply thought- 
 reading to the detection of crime, especially in 
 the matter of unravelling murder mysteries ; 
 and on one occasion a Rajah got me to re-enact, R e -enact- 
 with him, as " subject," the details of a murder jg a mur ' 
 which he had seen committed, which I did (with 
 the exception, of course, of the actual killing 
 of the person selected as the victim) to his 
 Highness's complete satisfaction, who made me 
 a present of the dagger, an antique weapon of 
 great beauty, with which the experiment was 
 performed. 
 
 I really do not see why thought-reading The possi- 
 could not, in some cases, be applied to the applying 
 detection of crime, although the results so thought- 
 obtained could not be accepted as evidence in a the detec- 
 Court of Justice. tion of 
 
 We will say, par exemple, that a murder has 
 been committed, a dagger having been used 
 for the purpose, and that this dagger has been 
 found, suspicion resting upon a man who is 
 assumed to be its owner. 
 
 He is, we will say, arrested, but nothing 
 definite can be proved against him. Justice 
 
 S 2 

 
 260 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 halts. Then might be the time for calling in a 
 thought-reader. Such a person would naturally 
 be better able to tell whether the ' suspect ' had 
 used the knife than an ordinary observer ; for 
 very few men if confronted with the evidence 
 of their crime could help in some measure 
 betraying themselves. This would not refer to 
 habitual criminals, who are better able to 
 control their emotions. Most murderers, are, 
 however, emotional beings, who momentarily 
 allow their passions to get the better of them. 
 The fear of detection, although they may 
 remain undiscovered, is seldom absent from 
 them ; and what their tongue has not the 
 courage to say their beating pulses uncon- 
 sciously confess, whenever the remembrance of 
 the crime they have committed becomes the 
 dominant idea in their minds. No thought- 
 reader operating, as I do, through the action 
 of other people's nervous systems, could divine 
 what a man did not wish to tell ; but under the 
 combined influence of fear and expectancy very 
 few men would be able to physically retain 
 their secret. 
 
 I have, as a matter of fact, actually put these 
 views to a practical proof, for, in addition to 
 having operated with imaginary criminals, I 
 have successfully tried my hand with genuine 
 ones. 
 
 Criminal lawyers are, as a rule, excellent 
 judges of character, but I cannot help thinking 
 that were they to practise thought-reading they
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 261 
 
 would be even better able than they now are 
 to interpret a witness's facial or nervous indica- 
 tions. 
 
 As " subjects," lawyers are on the whole Lawyers 
 better than what might be expected ; but they i 15 " ^ b " 
 are too much given to stopping in the middle of 
 an experiment for the purposes of arguing the 
 question. Then they are frequently extremely 
 dodgy, and one sometimes feels in their hands 
 like a witness undergoing a cross-examination 
 whom they feel it their professional duty to trip 
 up at every opportunity. 
 
 Amongst lawyers I have met, Sir Henry sir Henry 
 James and Sir Edward Clarke seemed to me J am es, Sir 
 
 Edward 
 
 to be the two best " subjects, although they, Clarke, 
 physiologically speaking, are as wide apart as the Shades 
 poles Sir Henry being calm, reflective, and in Russell, 
 his air of intense respectability, somewhat stand- 
 offish, whilst Sir Edward is sharp and quick, 
 with a come-into-my-parlour kind of manner 
 about him that is very tempting. Sir Charles 
 Russell is a man of quite a different stamp to 
 either; he is neither a good "subject" nor a 
 sympathetic one, and although he has no lack 
 of mental concentration he is far too great a 
 believer in himself to allow any one to get at his 
 thoughts : and I trust Sir Charles will excuse 
 me if I put him at the bottom of the list of 
 " legal subjects." 
 
 Musicians, as a class, are not good I mean Musicians 
 
 for thought-reading; and those who are as " s " b ' 
 & ' . jects. 
 
 eminent amongst them seem to be altogether
 
 262 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 unable to concentrate their thoughts upon 
 commonplace everyday things. Place a 
 musician at a piano and ask him to think of a 
 tune, and the thought-reader, who may not 
 know a single note, will have no difficulty in 
 getting at his thoughts ; but ask a musician to 
 think of a pin, a man, anything save a pretty 
 woman and his thoughts are en Pair imme- 
 diately, and it is with the greatest difficulty 
 you can get him to concentrate his mind upon 
 the object selected. 
 
 Gounod. In an experiment with Gounod, I had no end 
 of trouble, for the celebrated composer could 
 not or would not let the object selected be the 
 dominant idea in his mind ; and his abstract 
 look as we wandered about the room in search 
 of it was a subject worthy of an artist's 
 brush. 
 
 Rubin- Rubinstein, on the other hand, appears to me 
 
 to be a man of considerable concentration of 
 thought and fixedness of purpose, whilst he 
 is fully as sympathetic as the composer of 
 Faust. 
 
 A batch of With artists, thought-readers have a far better 
 
 artistic chance than with musicians. For artists, as a 
 " sub- 
 jects." rule, not only possess greater concentration, but 
 
 they do not object to ordinary things having a 
 place in their thoughts. Munkacsy, it is true, I 
 found somewhat erratic, but Angeli, Camp- 
 hausen, Begas, Franz Lebach and W. B. Rich- 
 mond proved admirable "subjects." 
 
 Clergymen, for experiments in the drawing-
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 263 
 
 room, are absolutely perfect ; but in public, Clergymen 
 especially where the tests are of an intricate f e s cls . l '" 
 character, they are apt to become nervous and 
 forgetful. This of course militates against the 
 success of the test, and, knowing this, they, in 
 their natural conscientiousness, commence to re- 
 proach themselves for their own shortcomings, 
 thus rendering the experiment all the more 
 difficult of accomplishment. 
 
 Medicine provides some sterling "subjects." Medical 
 But the ordinary practitioner, whilst professing so b. 
 to obey the conditions laid down, is much too J ects - ' 
 apt, during the progress of an experiment, to 
 test his theories ; and there is scarcely a doctor 
 born who has not theories upon some subject or 
 other. This would not matter so much in 
 private, but where a public audience is con- 
 cerned such interference, which will be sure to 
 delay and maybe spoil an experiment, is 
 altogether unfair. I am of course referring to 
 cases where the " operator " says, " I cannot clair- 
 voyantly read your thoughts, neither can I 
 succeed with you unless you desire it. The 
 success of the experiment as much depends upon 
 your powers of concentration as it does upon my 
 powers of perception. All I want you to do is 
 to firmly and honestly fix your whole thoughts 
 upon the object you have selected, and not in 
 any way to endeavour to lead me astray. Remain 
 passive throughout, but do not purposely exer- 
 cise any contraction of the muscles or endeavour 
 to prevent my going to any place or in any
 
 264 A Thoiight-Readers Tfwughts. 
 
 direction I choose. If you do so, I cannot 
 possibly succeed, for the thought which would 
 dictate such action to you would become the 
 dominant one, and not the object you have se- 
 lected. You can, if you choose, easily lead me 
 astray, but for the time being I want you to 
 place yourself entirely in my hands." 
 
 In locating pains, imaginary or real, either in 
 his own body or that of another, medical men 
 are much better to operate with than any other 
 class of persons. 
 
 I am somewhat inclined to think that this 
 sleight of touch called thought-reading is not 
 altogether without the sphere of practical 
 medicine, and that a doctor who was an 
 expert " thought-reader " might find his attain- 
 ments in this direction of no little use in diagnos- 
 ing complaints, being thereby, as it were, able 
 to feel with his patient instead of having, as in 
 ordinary cases, to be content with the patient's 
 verbal statement of his or her symptoms. 
 M. Coque- Amongst members of the dramatic profession I 
 ] Mr a j d L found M - Coquelin my best " subject" and Mr. 
 Took. Toole my worst. It seems at first sight incredi- 
 ble that one of the dearest and most genial men 
 in the world should be a " bad subject;" but so 
 it is, and I explain it from the fact that Mr. 
 Toole, having no great belief in thought-reading, 
 looked upon my experiments as a mild species 
 of hanky-panky, that were not intended to be 
 taken seriously. 
 
 It is years ago since I tried my hand with the
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 265 
 
 famous comedian, and it is possible if I experi- 
 mented with him to-day I might have better 
 success than I did then ; but I have thought it 
 best to let the remembrance of the original 
 seance remain undisturbed. 
 
 I shall never forget how I dragged the genial An experi- 
 actor about the room, to the intense amusement Mr. Tool*. 
 of poor George Loveday and others who were 
 present, without getting the least indication of 
 his thought. 
 
 Presently my " subject " paused, and in a 
 sepulchral tone asked how long I expected to 
 be. 
 
 "Why?" Tasked. 
 
 " Because, if it's all the same to you, I think I 
 would like to sit down a bit whilst you hunt 
 around by yourself." 
 
 I could not help laughing, but I explained to 
 him that I was unable to read his thoughts 
 without contact, and that, if he wished me to 
 carry out the experiment, he must come with 
 me. 
 
 "Here goes then," he said, rising with a 
 subdued groan from his chair ; and we recom- 
 menced our peregrinations around the room. 
 
 But the second search was no more successful 
 than the first ; and the hand of my " subject " 
 lay listless in mine and his feet dragged falter- 
 ingly after me as we made the round of the room 
 for the twentieth time ; but indication of the 
 object selected there was none. 
 
 " Do you mind stopping another minute ? " he
 
 266 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 eventually asked. " Do, there's a good fellow, 
 for I can't keep this sort of thing up much 
 longer without a drink." 
 
 " That, I expect, was the object of your 
 
 thought the whole time," I said with a laugh. 
 
 The come- " That's quite right," he replied ; " but I don't 
 
 opinion of think much of your thought-reading all the 
 
 thought- same ; and every time you passed my glass I 
 
 thought to myself what a couple of fools we are ; 
 
 you for not being able to tell what a man's 
 
 thoughts would be fixed upon at this time in 
 
 the morning, and I for allowing you to drag me 
 
 round the room with the whisky getting cold and 
 
 the bar closed." 
 
 Mr. s. B. Mr. S. B. Bancroft was another actor who 
 Bancroft. g aye me considerable trouble : I never in fact 
 
 experimented with a man who seemed so un- 
 willing to unbend. It was with Mr. Bancroft 
 that I first performed the imaginary murder test, 
 which he seemed to imagine should be carried 
 out on high comedy principles ; and he did the 
 deed with the most perfect nonchalance, to the 
 disappointment, I fear, of the audience, who 
 had expected something of a far more tragic 
 character. 
 
 Signer With Signer Rossi, with whom I afterwards 
 
 performed a precisely similar experiment, I was 
 not only far more successful, but the affair was 
 carried out with far greater dramatic effect. 
 The famous tragedian selected some one in the 
 audience (during my absence from the room) as 
 an imaginary rival, and having invited him on
 
 A Thoiight-Reader 1 s Thoughts. 267 
 
 the platform proceeded to despatch him. This 
 done, he placed the body in a basket, wiped the 
 imaginary blood-stains from off the knife, and 
 coolly lit a cigarette the whole forming, so it 
 was said, one of the finest pieces of acting ever 
 seen in Berlin. 
 
 On my return to the stage I re-enacted the 
 scene in every detail ; fetched the man up, 
 stabbed him, gloated over him, picked him up, 
 and replaced him in the basket, wiped the knife, 
 and then sat down and lit a cigarette. 
 
 lalso performed a " murder-experiment " with Mr. W. s. 
 Mr. W. S. Gilbert, who, with grim humour, se- f!! b s e u b. as 
 lected a well-known Oxford Don (who had never ject." 
 been on the stage of a theatre and probably 
 never inside one even before in his life) as his 
 victim. He stabbed the Don most viciously in 
 a part not generally selected by murderers (but 
 then Mr. Gilbert must be different from any 
 other man) ; and, judging from the manner in 
 which that learned, grave and reverend signer 
 wriggled on his chair, the prodding must, I 
 fear, have been something more than merely 
 imaginary. 
 
 Mr. Gilbert was an extraordinarily good "sub- 
 ject " the best so far amongst the authors and 
 I was agreeably surprised to find a man whom 
 the whole world looks upon as an uncompromis- 
 ing cynic, so extremely sympathetic. Mr. 
 Gilbert is a hard-headed, steel-nerved man, 
 quick to think, and prompt to act, and every- 
 thing he did was done thoroughly.
 
 268 A T hought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 Gilbert He affords a very striking contrast to Sir 
 
 van. " Arthur Sullivan, who, so far as I have had an 
 opportunity of judging, seems to be exceedingly 
 highly-strung and emotional. In the produc- 
 tion of effects Gilbert appears to be as necessary 
 to Sullivan as flint to steel, or as brimstone to 
 treacle. 
 
 Chambel? Of the leaders of politics in this country no 
 lain. one has more favourably impressed me than Mr. 
 Chamberlain. 
 
 Whilst without an atom of Mr. Gladstone's 
 personal magnetism or his charm of manner, his 
 sound common sense, quickness of perception 
 and ready grasp of facts attract and rivet you in 
 a remarkable degree. 
 
 Mr. Chamberlain is the typical " long-headed " 
 man the man who reads the future by the signs 
 of the present and the tracings of the past. He 
 is neither a visionary nor a sentimentalist, but 
 a man of business, and everything he under- 
 takes is carried out on strict business principles. 
 He is not a hard man, neither is he a particu- 
 larly sympathetic one, holding, I daresay, that an 
 excess of sympathy is calculated to interfere 
 with one's good judgment. But he is above all 
 a just man, and he would, I daresay, be disposed 
 to give even the devil his due if his Satanic 
 majesty made good his case. 
 
 As I read Do unto all men, as they do unto you, is Mr. 
 Chamberlain's motto ; and such a thing, even 
 under the most tempting circumstances, as turn- 
 ing the other cheek to the smiter never enters
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 269 
 
 his head ; and it is just this straightforward 
 manliness, this ability to give as good as he gets 
 without flinching, that has made him popular 
 with a people, who, above all things, admire 
 pluck. 
 
 Mr. Chamberlain is a clever man, and he 
 knows it ; and, what is more, he does not fail to 
 let others know it also. A man is a fool to hide 
 his own light under a bushel ; and Mr. Cham- 
 berlain is not the man to be guilty of any such 
 folly. He knows full well that the world is apt 
 to judge you at the estimate you put upon your- 
 self, and it is not for a moment likely that he, 
 fully conscious of his own worth, is going to 
 quote himself at a price below his true market- 
 value. This is not conceit, but sound common 
 sense. 
 
 There is nobody more anxious to learn, or 
 quicker at learning, than Mr. Chamberlain, and 
 it is perfectly astonishing the amount of infor- 
 mation that he manages to acquire. 
 
 Mr. Chamberlain is, above all things, a pro- 
 gressive man, and he very properly holds that 
 the events of to-day may have rendered unten- 
 able the situation of yesterday, and that to con- 
 tinue to stick to a policy which, under these 
 altered conditions of affairs should be abandoned 
 simply because you at some time or other 
 thought it worth adopting, is most impolitic, or, 
 as he would say, most unbusinesslike. 
 
 Mr. Chamberlain is undoubtedly the man of The man 
 the future, and, at the risk of failing as a prophet, future.
 
 270 A Thought-Reader* s Thoughts. 
 
 I venture to predict that, sooner or later, he will 
 reach the goal for which he is striving ; for a 
 man with his ability, his perseverance and 
 business-like capacities, does not recognize the 
 word fail. He will never make an ideal Premier, 
 and he lacks the necessary personal magnetism 
 to become a great popular favourite, but he 
 will undoubtedly command the public's confi- 
 dence and respect ; and, in return, they (to use 
 his own phraseology) will get good value for 
 their money. 
 
 The " subject " about whom the public evince 
 the greatest curiosity is undoubtedly Mr. Henry 
 Labouchere. 
 
 Mr. Henry " How on earth did you manage to succeed 
 
 ditre! 1 " with Mr - Labouchere ? " will ask some. " What 
 
 sort of a man is he ? " will ask others ; whilst not 
 
 a few will turn livid with rage at the very mention 
 
 of his name. 
 
 Some people have an idea that the senior 
 
 member for Northampton is a man half satyr, 
 
 half Puck, whose every thought is evil, and who 
 
 does mischief for the mere love of it, utterly 
 
 regardless of the injury he may work. 
 
 A much Mr. Labouchere is a much misunderstood 
 
 misunder- man f or w hi c h he himself, however, is in a great 
 
 stood man. 
 
 measure responsible, for he is utterly regardless 
 of what conclusions people may come to with 
 regard to him ; and, to put it plainly, he has a 
 decided objection to being understood. Nothing 
 pleases him so much as the idea that he is con- 
 sidered in the light of a " bogey," and that his
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 271 
 
 Boo I strikes consternation in society's ranks. But 
 in reality he is the most genuinely charitable 
 and kindest-hearted man imaginable ; and his 
 horns, hoofs, and forked tail exist but in the 
 imagination of those who have reason to fear 
 him. 
 
 I am quite certain that Mr. Labouchere would 
 not knowingly wrong any one, and that in case 
 he had done any one an unintentional injury he 
 would be the first to make \ho. amende honorable. 
 
 He has a genuine hatred of all shams, and is, 
 as a rule, thoroughly in earnest when he is 
 attacking them, although nine people out of ten 
 elect to misunderstand his motives. He, like 
 Bismarck, is a good hater, and pursues a foe to 
 the bitter end, but he has never been known to 
 hit a man when he is down. He is, moreover, a A man of 
 man of his word, and whatever Henry Labou- word - 
 chere says he will do, you may rest content 
 will be done. Of how many men can one say 
 this ? 
 
 Middle-class respectability does not like Mr. 
 Labouchere because he outrages the " proprie- 
 ties," whilst what is called society objects to 
 him because he is " so terribly radical, don't- 
 cherknow ; " but with the democracy he is a 
 great favourite. 
 
 Middle-class respectability does not like a 
 man who is, according to its light, not " strictly 
 respectable/' who does not always spell God 
 with a big G, and who has even been known to 
 give a garden party during Church hours.
 
 272 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 Society, on the other hand, does not aim so 
 much at respectability as respect, and any one 
 who is wanting in " proper respect " for the 
 Queen, the constitution, and all that sort of 
 thing, has no place in society's good books. 
 
 Apropos of religion, a delightful story (which 
 may or may not be true), is told of Mr. 
 Labouchere and the Nonconformist parsons 
 of Northampton, which, if not precisely new, 
 is certainly worth repeating. 
 
 A good The Nonconformist parsons of Northampton 
 so the story runs became a short time back 
 exceedingly dubious as to Mr. Labouchere's reli- 
 gious convictions, and, anxious to have their fears 
 set at rest, they wrote to the senior member upon 
 the subject. Mr. Labouchere at once invited 
 them to lunch with him; and up they came. They 
 were a serious, grave lot of guests, for their minds 
 were much troubled concerning their member, 
 whom they had determined not to vote for again, 
 unlessheconvinced them of the genuineness of his 
 religious belief; for, as they argued, it was quite 
 bad enough to have one atheist representing the 
 town, and that if Mr. Labouchere did not pass 
 through the ordeal satisfactorily it would be 
 better to select for the next election a man 
 whose religious principles were beyond question. 
 The guests took their seats at the luncheon- 
 table with many inward misgivings as to the 
 propriety of eating meat that had not been 
 blessed ; but to their surprise Mr. Labouchere 
 himself proposed that grace should be said.
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 273 
 
 " I beg your pardon," he said in that calm, 
 cool manner of his which is so very telling ; " it 
 is customary, I think, to say grace." Imme- 
 diately every one rose from his seat, horrified at 
 the idea that he had been caught napping. 
 
 " Thanks," said their host, " perhaps you 
 (indicating a reverend brother of great piety) 
 will officiate." 
 
 The prayer was duly offered up, and the lunch 
 began ; but no one seemed anxious to commence 
 the cross-examination, whilst Mr. Labouchere, 
 who is a perfect host and a delightful raconteur, 
 kept them thoroughly lively and in the best of 
 humours. He deftly led them from one country 
 to another, relating many amusing incidents by 
 the way, with the result that those who had come 
 to wrestle and pray, in the end forgot the object 
 of their visit. For, during the whole meal, not a 
 word was mentioned of religion, and at its con- 
 clusidn, when Mr. Labouchere suggested that 
 another of the parsons should return thanks, no 
 one thought of questioning him upon the sub- 
 ject ; and when they left their host who, 
 immediately lunch was over, had another en- 
 gagement all doubts were removed as to his 
 supposed backslidings. 
 
 Whilst Mr. Labouchere is much too candid, Mr. La 
 much too honest and outspoken to please the 
 
 t,-ii, as 
 
 world at large, he is sincerely liked by those 
 
 who know him well, for there is not a truer friend 
 or a more interesting all-round entertaining 
 man in London ; and if I had to be cast on a 
 
 T
 
 274 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 desert island with one man for company, Mr. 
 Labouchere would certainly be the man I 
 should choose ; and I fancy that most of those 
 who know him would, under such circumstances, 
 choose with me. 
 
 Mr. Labouchere is accused of being a cynic, 
 and that he takes nothing in life au serieux ; 
 but, believe me, he is neither so cynical nor so 
 indifferent as the public imagines or he himself 
 would have you imagine. There is no man who 
 on occasion can be more in earnest than Mr. 
 Labouchere, and he is in reality far less cynical 
 than many of those who pose as philanthropists. 
 Mr. La- As a " subject," Mr. Labouchere was in no 
 houchere wav disappointing. I found him a sceptic, and 
 ject." left him a believer. In the experiments I per- 
 formed with him he at no time endeavoured to 
 lead me astray, but gave himself up unre- 
 servedly to the conditions, with the result that 
 I had no difficulty in succeeding with him. 
 
 It is habitual with Mr. Labouchere to appear 
 absolutely indifferent to everything that takes 
 place around him ; and although he outwardly 
 appeared to be as unconcerned in what I was 
 doing as any red Indian, I could feel by the 
 expression of his hand which, by the bye, is as 
 soft as a woman's that he was by no means so 
 indifferent as he would have me believe. 
 
 Mr. Labouchere at once frankly acknowledged 
 that I had succeeded with him, and the next day 
 he sent me the following letter, which speaks for 
 itself:
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 275 
 
 " 10, Queen Anne's Gate. 
 " DEAR MR. CUMBERLAND, 
 
 " You yesterday succeeded in pointing 
 out an article in this room which I had thought 
 of. Your explanation of thought-reading so 
 called was very interesting. I am glad that 
 you are engaged in dispelling the nonsense 
 which surrounded the experiments, and that you 
 are proving that you can equal the mystic 
 powers of the quacks who have hitherto made 
 money out of fools ; whilst, at the same time, 
 you are able to give a natural and reasonable 
 explanation of what you perform. 
 
 " Yours truly, 
 
 "H. LABOUCHERE." 
 
 Speaking of red Indians, an experiment I had 
 with Red Shirt, the Sioux chief, is, I think, 
 worth recording. The experiment took place 
 in the Welcome Club at the American Exhibi- 
 tion, where a little luncheon had been arranged 
 in my honour on my return from Spain, at 
 which the Duchess of Sutherland, the Marquis 
 of Lome, Lord Ronald Gower, Mr. Justin H. 
 McCarthy, Colonel Cody, and others were 
 present. 
 
 I firstly asked " Red Shirt " to select and then Red Shir, 
 think of an object in the club, which he did, but 
 this experiment was attended with but indifferent 
 success, for " Red Shirt " was quite at a loss to 
 know why he should be asked to think of a 
 thing which had not the remotest interest for 
 T 2
 
 276 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 him. A thing must be of more than passing 
 interest to attract the sole attention of a savage 
 whose thoughts do not range beyond the narrow 
 circle encompassing the scenes of his every-day 
 life ; and unless he be asked to think of some- 
 thing which is of value to him personally, or is 
 in some way associated with his method of 
 living, a thought-reader will be unable to do very 
 much with him. 
 
 This, from experience, I was already aware 
 of ; and it consequently struck me that if I were 
 to induce " Red Shirt " to think of some one 
 whom he (in imagination of course) would like 
 to scalp, I should probably be able to carry out 
 such an experiment. 
 
 A scalping " Red Shirt " readily assented, and taking a 
 experi- s ji ver f ru it-knife, lent me by Mr. Whitley, I 
 
 ment with J J ' 
 
 Red Shirt, made the round of the room in search of the 
 man whom the Sioux chief wished to relieve of 
 his scalp. I speedily found him, and without 
 hesitation selected the exact " scalp lock " " Red 
 Shirt" had in his mind. I twisted the fingers 
 of my left hand round this lock, and with the 
 right hand brandishing the fruit-knife I pro- 
 ceeded to describe the circle as if in the act of 
 scalping. But this failed to satisfy my " subject," 
 who was far too much in earnest to have it done 
 that way. 
 
 Red Shirt's His hand tightened on mine, his pulse beating 
 
 in time with his ra P id breatm ' n g and, if I had not 
 held the knife in my own hand, I verily believe 
 he would have scalped the man outright. I
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 277 
 
 made a dumb-show of doing the scalping, and 
 then let go of my " subject's " hand, for fear his 
 feelings might, in the excitement, get the better 
 of him. 
 
 When I looked at " Red Shirt's " face, it pre- -d his 
 sented a curious study of surprise and disap- pomtment. 
 pointment ; surprise that I should have taken so 
 much trouble for nothing, and disappointment 
 that the selected scalp was not dangling at his 
 girdle. He did not, however, say anything, 6 
 but took quite a deep pull at a fascinating 
 " long drink " which stood by his side before he 
 recovered from his disappointment. 
 
 Whilst upon the American Exhibition, a few 
 words with respect ro Mr. J. R. Whitley, its pro- 
 moter and director-general, will not be out of 
 place, especially as the notion of experimenting 
 with " Red Shirt " originated with him. 
 
 With Mr. Whitley the successful organizer of M T r -.J- R- 
 national exhibitions I have nothing to do, my 
 view of him being from a purely psychological 
 standpoint ; and he is a psychological study of 
 considerable interest. Firstly, he is the only 
 Englishman I know who can convey his 
 
 6 The North American Indians steel themselves against 
 exhibiting the slightest indication of their thoughts, and 
 it is exceedingly difficult to startle them, although you 
 may catch them altogether unawares. I have seen an 
 Indian steal behind another and fire a gun suddenly in 
 the air, without causing the one behind whom he fired 
 to do more than merely turn his head. Nothing appears 
 to surprise them, and Indians who have been brought 
 from the open wilds to a populous city, have evinced not 
 the slightest surprise at the change.
 
 278 A T hought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 thoughts in three foreign languages as well as in 
 his mother-tongue. Secondly, he possesses the 
 ability to concentrate his thoughts upon a cur- 
 rent matter to the absolute exclusion of every- 
 thing else to a degree that I have rarely, if ever, 
 seen equalled ; and, thirdly, there is no man of 
 my acquaintance (with the single exception of 
 Sir John A. Macdonald, the Canadian Premier) 
 who so thoroughly understands human nature. 
 
 Apropos of savages, it is not only a difficult 
 task reading their thoughts, but it occasionally 
 is a dangerous one. 
 Anexperi- As an instance in point : I once asked a con- 
 ! 1 verted cannibal, with whom I thought I would 
 
 ted canni- like to try an experiment, to hide an object in 
 the bush. The only thing he had about him 
 was a knife, which, in accordance with my sug- 
 gestion, he hid. But on taking him by the hand 
 I felt that his thoughts were a good deal too 
 concentrated upon me, and that his intentions 
 were not strictly honourable. I begged of him 
 to turn his attention towards the knife (which, 
 however, I fear he only thought of in connec- 
 tion with me, and not once as a hidden object), 
 but all in vain ; and I was forced to the conclu- 
 sion that the dominant idea in that old rascal's 
 mind was how I should taste cold or made up 
 in a pie. 
 
 The experiment, needless to say, was speedily 
 abandoned. 
 
 I have not only experimented with almost 
 all. sorts and conditions of men, but I once
 
 A Tho^t.ght-Reader "* s Thoughts. 279 
 tried my hand at reading the thoughts of a The 
 
 , thoughts of 
 
 monkey. _ a monkey. 
 
 I gave the monkey an orange and then had it 
 taken from him and hid with his knowledge in 
 a corner of the room, I being out of the room at 
 the time. 
 
 On returning, I took hold of the monkey, who 
 at once " indicated " the direction of the orange ; 
 and in the space of a few seconds, I had dis- 
 covered it. 
 
 Talking of monkeys, reminds me of an 
 experiment I performed with the late Colonel 
 Fred Burnaby. At a charity seance, given 
 by me some years ago in Exeter Hall, with the 
 late Earl of Shaftesbury in the chair, Colonel 
 Burnaby was one of the "subjects." He and 
 another member of the audience were asked to 
 each hide a pin during my absence from the 
 room. 
 
 I returned on being summoned, and, taking An expei-u 
 the other " subject," at once discovered where he [Delate 1 
 had hid his pin ; but with Colonel Burnaby the Colonel 
 
 . ,..: Burnaby. 
 
 case was different. 
 
 Immediately I took him by the hand, I felt 
 that his thoughts, curiously enough, were con- 
 centrated upon me, and not upon any part of 
 the room where the pin might have been put ; 
 and when I commenced to move, it was always 
 in a circle. Round and round I went like a 
 cat or a monkey after its tail, taking my 
 " subject " with me, until I paused from sheer 
 exhaustion.
 
 2 So A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 " I know it is somewhere here," I said, putting 
 my hand behind me ; " but the exact spot I 
 really cannot say." 
 
 " Quite so," replied Colonel Burnaby. " It is 
 in your own coat, and you can't reach it. I put 
 it there when you were searching for the other 
 pin. It wasn't perhaps quite fair, but I 
 thought it would make an interesting test ; and 
 you have certainly succeeded in doing what I 
 thought you would never be able to do ; and I 
 congratulate you." 
 
 A test of this kind had never happened to me 
 before, and curiously enough it has never 
 occurred since, although, on the other hand, 
 people who have been given pins to hide in a 
 room, will secrete them about their own person ; 
 and, what is more, sometimes forget where 
 they have put them. This forgetfulness is a 
 common thing with my "subjects," and frequently 
 leads to difficulties in a mixed audience, where 
 people do not understand why a man should 
 forget in the first instance, and why, having 
 forgotten, I should not myself be able to put 
 him right. 
 
 An out- A ver y spiking instance of this kind occurred 
 
 door test in connection with an experiment performed 
 
 Grant with Mr. Grant Allen, the novelist, who was 
 
 Allen. one o f t^ subjects " at the stance given some 
 
 years ago in the editorial rooms of the Pall 
 
 Mall Gazette. 
 
 . Mr. Allen hid, unknown to me, in a house in 
 Northumberland Street, the piece of bread
 
 A T hought- Reader' s Thoughts. 281 
 
 received by Mr. Greenwood in his role of the 
 Amateur Casual, which historic piece of bread 7 
 he asked me to find. 
 
 We started from the Pall Mall Gazette A curious 
 -. - mistake. 
 
 office, and finally arrived at a house in 
 
 Northumberland Street. I went to the door 
 and gave a loud rat-a-tat-tat, which brought 
 out a lady of uncertain age and uncertain 
 temper. 
 
 " What do you want ? " asked the lady, who 
 was puzzled to understand what a blindfolded 
 man, holding another man by the hand and 
 surrounded by a mob of small boys, wanted at 
 her house. 
 
 " Why, he wants to go in ; can't you see ? " 
 shouted out some one. 
 
 " I can see well enough/' shrieked the lady, 
 and slam went the door in our faces. 
 
 I asked Mr. Grant Allen what it all meant, 
 and if he hadn't mistaken the house in which was 
 the object he had selected. 
 
 Such indeed was the fact ; in the hurry and 
 confusion my subject had mistaken the house 
 we stopped at for the one (which was next 
 door) in which the piece of bread really 
 was. 
 
 It did not take me long, however, to go to 
 the next house, mount the stairs, enter a room, 
 
 7 I was not informed at the time that it was this piece 
 of bread that was thought of, being simply asked to find 
 an object upon which Mr. Grant Allen had concentrated 
 his thoughts.
 
 282 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 lift up a lid of a lounge, and lay hands upon 
 the object thought of. 
 
 Mr. W. T. A word with regard to Mr. W. T. Stead, the 
 Stead. a ki e editor of the Pall Mall Gazette, who arranged 
 this seance. Mr. Stead is another of the world's 
 misunderstood men. Mr. Stead, first of all, is a 
 showman the, in fact, Barnum of Journalism 
 and although his " walk up " may not always 
 be in good taste, he himself is a firm believer 
 in the religious and moral aspects of his show. 
 Mr. Stead's " sensations " do not entirely spring 
 from commercial motives, as some people 
 imagine, but they frequently have a much 
 higher origin ; for Mr. Stead is an enthusiast, 
 and because the world is out of joint he, with 
 Quixotic persistency, feels that he is the person 
 to set it right. Like Don Quixote, he has a firm 
 belief in himself, and his mission ; and instead 
 of being the shallow sentimentalist that some 
 people picture him, he is sincerely I might 
 almost say terribly in earnest. 
 
 For my part, I believe him to be perfectly 
 honest that is as honest as a man with a 
 circulation to keep up can possibly be and 
 however much one may question the results of 
 some of his crusades, it is scarcely just to be per- 
 petually questioning his motives. 
 
 In the course of these pages I have instanced 
 many of the good, bad, and indifferent 
 " subjects," and, by way of conclusion, the reader 
 will, 1 daresay, be not unwilling to know whom 
 I consider to be so far as my experience has
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 283 
 
 gone the best " subjects " according to nation- 
 ality. 
 
 Here they are : 
 
 The best English " subject," H.R.H. THE PRINCE OF The best 
 
 WALES. su b- 
 
 The best German "subject," H.M. THE LATE EMPEROR jects " ac- 
 
 WlLLIAM. cording to 
 
 The best French " subject," M. COQUELIN. nation- 
 
 The best Russian "subject," H.I.H. THE GRAND DuKE a lity. 
 
 MICHAEL. 
 The best Austrian " subject," H.I.H. THE CROWN PRINCE 
 
 RUDOLPH. 
 
 The best Hungarian "subject," PROFESSOR VAMBERY. 
 The best Italian " subject," THE CHEVALIER NIGRA. 
 The best Spanish " subject," THE DUKE DE ALBA. 
 The best Portuguese "subject," H.M. THE KING OF 
 
 PORTUGAL. 
 The best Greek " subject," THE GREEK MINISTER AT 
 
 BERLIN. 
 The best American " subject," THE LATE HENRY WARD 
 
 BEECHER. 
 
 The best Eastern " subject," H.H. THE KHEDIVE. 
 The best Mongolian " subject," CHINGIS KHAN. 
 The best " savage " " subject," H.M. THE KING OF THE 
 
 SANDWICH ISLANDS. 
 And the best of all, H. E. FIELD-MARSHAL VON 
 
 MOLTKE.
 
 284 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 CHAPTER XL 
 
 WHILST in the East people appear to be con- 
 vinced that my experiments are the result of 
 some mysterious power, which it is not for them 
 to fathom, one, in western countries, is met on 
 The use of all sides by the question, " What is the use of 
 this thought-reading after all ? What is there in 
 it beyond a striking and peculiar form of amuse- 
 . ment ? " 
 
 Well, if in this very blase age one has pro- 
 duced something calculated to amuse the world, 
 one, I take it, will have done not a little to- 
 wards earning recognition ; and no one will, I 
 think, deny that thought-reading, so called, has 
 afforded endless amusement (to say the very 
 least) to hundreds of thousands of both sexes. 
 
 I have, however, during my association with 
 thought-reading, tried my best to invest the 
 experiments with scientific interest ; and it is 
 gratifying to know that my efforts have not. 
 been altogether in vain. 
 
 I wish it also to be expressly understood 
 that, in spite of all temptations, I have at no 
 time taken a fee for private representations. 
 
 I have frequently been offered enormous sums
 
 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 285 
 
 to give experiments in the houses of the rich 
 and great ; but I have always unhesitatingly 
 declined. 
 
 The largest amount ever offered me for a single A big 
 seance was io,oco francs ; and Prince Constan- 
 tine Radziwill, who married a daughter of 
 Edmond Blanc, made the bid. He wished me 
 to give my first stance in Paris at his palace, 
 and was willing to pay to that extent for it. 
 
 The offer was made through a friend of the 
 
 prince's, a young Italian, Signer B ; and I 
 
 shall never forget the look of surprise I 
 might almost say disgust that came into his 
 eyes when I somewhat curtly refused it. 
 
 " What, do you want more than ten thousand 
 francs ? " he said. " I daresay his Highness 
 might give it ; but " 
 
 " Ten thousand francs is already a very large 
 amount," I broke in ; " and you think I ought 
 to be satisfied. But, my young friend, it would 
 be all the same if his Highness had offered ten 
 francs ; I do not take fees for private representa- 
 tions, no matter what amount is offered. Give 
 my compliments to Prince Radziwill, and thank 
 him for his offer, and inform him that I am not 
 a hack to be engaged to run about his palace at 
 so much per hour." 
 
 " Ah ! " said the young Italian, with a shake of 
 the head, " if I had your wondrous gift, I should 
 make as much out of it as I possibly could ; and 
 ten thousand francs are not to be picked up so 
 easily every day."
 
 286 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 " That may be ; but I am perfectly satisfied 
 with what my public seances produce. It is 
 true they may not bring me in quite so much as 
 you are prepared to offer ; but I have the 
 advantage at least of being independent." 
 
 Signor B could not, however, see it ; but 
 
 then money was scarce with him. Poor fellow, 
 he is now no more ; and his want of money 
 brought about his death. 
 
 It happened in this way. He was a great 
 A debt of gambler ; and one day he found himself unable 
 honour. j- o p av j^jg gambling debts incurred at a certain 
 club, which he was in the habit of frequenting. 
 But, at the eleventh hour, a friend offered to help 
 him out of his difficulties, and handed him the 
 money with which to wipe off his indebted- 
 ness. 
 
 With the money in his pocket, B started 
 
 for the club, gladness in his heart, and a song on 
 his lips ; but on the way, he found his passage 
 barred by a crowd, and he had to make a con- 
 siderable detour to avoid it ; and by the time he 
 reached his destination, it was much later than he 
 anticipated. 
 
 He enters the club with the smile still upon 
 his handsome face, his hand grasping the notes 
 which are to keep his honour intact. But his 
 attention is arrested by something that has just 
 Posted. been stuck up. In an instant the smile leaves 
 his face, the tune dies on his lips, and he 
 stands there with blanched cheeks and stilled 
 heart, reading what is written thereon.
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 287 
 
 He sees that he is too late ; for he has already 
 been posted. 
 
 Who cannot sympathize with him in that 
 moment of his shame ? And who will be found 
 to judge him harshly for what follows ? 
 
 " Too late to live ; but not to die," he muttered 
 and, going into another room, he shot himself. 
 
 Poor B ; he was a man possessed of great 
 
 physical but of very little moral courage. He 
 had already fought more than one duel in his 
 native land before coming to Paris, whither he 
 came to challenge Rochefort for an alleged 
 insult to the king of Italy ; but the editor of 
 the Intransigeant declined to cross swords with 
 him ; and he, so he told me, felt ashamed to 
 return to Italy. His relations he came, I 
 believe, of a noble family did their best to 
 induce him to leave Paris, but without avail. 
 With all his bravery, he was as emotional as a 
 woman ; and, like all such characters, was easily 
 influenced. 
 
 I saw a good deal of him when I was in 
 Paris, we being located at the same hotel ; and I 
 shall never forget the eagerness with which he 
 asked me, on more than one occasion, if I could 
 foretell his future. He was impressed with the 
 notion that he would not live to the age of 
 thirty, and he based his views upon a statement 
 made by a gipsy who, a short time before, had A gipsy's 
 told his fortune. 
 
 " I do not fear death," he would say to me ; 
 " but how shall I die ? On the battle-field, I
 
 288 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 hope." And he volunteered to accompany the 
 expedition despatched to the relief of General 
 Gordon ; but his services, it appears, were not 
 accepted. 
 
 One did not need to be a gipsy to draw the 
 lines of his future ; for, although of course I did 
 not tell him so, I felt assured that he would 
 either be killed in a duel or die by his own 
 hand. Indeed, the moment I heard of his 
 death, I seemed to know as if by instinct how 
 he died. 
 
 It was in Barcelona that I first heard of it. I 
 was entering the dining-room of the hotel, when 
 I was greeted by some one whose face seemed 
 familiar. 
 
 " Don't you remember me ? " he said, " I met 
 
 you with B at the Hotel Continental, in 
 
 Paris." 
 
 " Oh, yes," I replied, "perfectly; and how is 
 B ?" 
 
 " Oh ! " (with a touch of sadness in his face), 
 " he's dead." 
 
 " Dead ! " I said, " surely he hasn't shot him- 
 self ?" 
 
 " Yes, he has ! " and he proceeded to give me 
 the particulars of his death. 
 
 Fate. B was a great believer in Luck, and Luck 
 
 was certainly against him the night he put an 
 end to his existence. He ordinarily spent much 
 of his loose cash in carriage hire ; but the night 
 when a cab would have saved him, he, strange to 
 say, trusted to his legs.
 
 A Thought -Readers Thoiights. 289 
 
 " It happened as it was written," will say the 
 believers in Fate ; " and no man can any more 
 evade his destiny, than the sun can change its 
 course." 
 
 With respect to Prince Radziwill, his High- 
 ness at once called to apologize for having made 
 the offer, and we soon became on friendly terms, 
 and, before I left Paris, he and the princess gave 
 a grand reception in our honour, when I had 
 great pleasure in presenting some of my experi- 
 ments. But the story of the 10,000 francs got 
 into the newspapers, and from that day people 
 ceased to pester me to give seances in their 
 houses, whilst I rose considerably in ' society's ' 
 estimation. 
 
 For what is called society loves to patronize, 
 and, as a matter of course, hates to be patron- 
 ized ; and it goes without saying that it will 
 never receive as an equal any one whom it can 
 possibly hire. 
 
 I might, it is true, at this moment be a much 
 richer man than I am, had I accepted such 
 engagements as society has to offer; but I cer- 
 tainly should not have received anything like 
 the attention I have ; nor should I be occupying 
 to-day the position of which I feel I have some 
 right to be proud. 
 
 I have been received with much cordiality at 
 the principal courts of both Europe and the 
 East, monarchs welcoming me as an honoured 
 guest, who would, in all probability, have declined 
 to have received me at all had I sought to appear 
 

 
 290 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 before them in the capacity of a hired enter- 
 tainer. 
 
 I mention before them because my experi- 
 ments have not been .performed, like certain 
 Monarchs other exhibitions, before imperial and royal 
 j'ects." personages, but actually with them ; and I have 
 found an emperor or a king just as willing to 
 hide a pin or think of a number as the most 
 ordinary individuals. Indeed my experience 
 has been that the more exalted a personage is 
 the more obliging he is : he at least is never 
 fearful of looking undignified, whilst your 
 parvenu is always in agonies when you are 
 experimenting with him, lest he may be made 
 to appear less dignified than he imagines his 
 position demands. 
 
 I could quote many instances of how certain 
 illustrious men and women who would have 
 treated me with but scant courtesy could I have 
 been hired for their amusement, have gone out 
 of their way to show me attention when they 
 knew that their gold had no charms for 
 me. 
 
 For example, the night I arrived in St. 
 Petersburg, a message came through the tele- 
 phone from the Oldenburg Palace to my hotel, 
 asking if I were in, and, on an answer being 
 given in the affirmative, I was requested to 
 attend at the palace the following evening to 
 give a stance, and, at the same time, it was 
 Lked m as ^ ec ^ wnat niy terms would be. My secretary 
 "terms;" at once replied that I had no terms, and that
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 291 
 
 there must be some mistake in making a pro- 
 position which was anything but agreeable to 
 me. There was a long pause, and then came a 
 message that his Imperial Highness, Prince 
 Alexander of Oldenburg, would do himself the 
 pleasure of sending his secretary to wait upon 
 me in the morning. 
 
 In the morning the secretary came, and was 
 profuse in his apologies. There had, he said, 
 been a most unfortunate mistake, which his 
 Imperial Highness sincerely regretted ; and he ami not 
 was requested to ask me if I would sup at the any'Tm 
 Oldenburg Palace one night in the following asked to 
 week, when the Grand Duke Alexis and other sv 
 members of the Imperial Family would be 
 present. 
 
 I readily consented, and I spent a most 
 enjoyable evening I say evening, but it was 
 early morning before I found myself sleighing 
 back to my hotel. 
 
 The supper was an interesting affair. There Supping 
 were three round tables in the supper-room, dukes^ 
 placed some distance apart from each other. At . 
 the head table sat the members of the Imperial 
 Family ; at the middle table those next in rank ; 
 and at the end one the officers of the household 
 and others. 
 
 My host did me the honour of placing me at 
 the head table, sandwiched between a brother 
 and a cousin of the Tzar. 
 
 It was a most sumptuous repast, such as one 
 would find nowhere out of Russia ; but, alas ! 
 U 2
 
 292 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 the Grand Duke Alexis was not hungry that 
 night, and I was ; and dish after dish flitted past 
 his Imperial Highness, and the rest round the 
 table untasted and untouched ; and presently 
 I began to feel as I always imagined Don 
 Quixote's trusty squire must have felt at his 
 state feast. I, however, fared better than the 
 half-starved Sancho, for I did get a little of 
 something, if not of everything ; but just as 
 I was making myself acquainted with some 
 peculiarly Russian dish, the Grand Duke rose to 
 his feet, and everyone rose with him. He made 
 his way into the salon adjoining, and we followed, 
 whilst the tables, with their burthen of dainties, 
 were wheeled back as if by magic into the 
 recesses from which they had been drawn ; and 
 when I looked again, there was no sign of them 
 whatever, nor the slightest indication of there 
 having been a supper laid in the room at all. 
 
 Could I have been dreaming ? No ; there were 
 the Grand Dukes and the Imperial Highnesses 
 of both sexes and the rest of the company, 
 whilst the flavour of the champagne was still in 
 my mouth, and the fumes of the last dish in my 
 nostrils. 
 
 No, it was not a dream, only, in the sharp- 
 setness of my appetite, I regretted the reality 
 did not last somewhat longer. 
 
 The great meal with a certain section of 
 society in Russia is supper, and many Russians 
 do not go to bed till the average-rising English- 
 man is getting up. St. Petersburg society
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 293 
 
 revels and makes merry when that of other 
 capitals is sleeping comfortably between the 
 sheets. There is no other capital in Europe like 
 St. Petersburg during the season for sparkling 
 gaiety, for varied pleasure, and for unstinted 
 hospitality ; and there is no class of people in 
 the world so thoroughly amusing and all-round 
 entertaining as the well-bred Russians. 
 
 By this time, however, it is pretty well known 
 that I am not to be hired ; and with the excep- 
 tion of an occasional American millionaire, no 
 one ventures to offer me a fee for a private 
 representation in his house. 
 
 With the American, who has made his " pile," 
 there is nothing that money .cannot obtain ; and 
 he is invariably surprised beyond measure when 
 he finds any one superior to the blandishments 
 of his wealth. 
 
 I must confess to having no great liking for the The 
 Nouveaux Riches; and it is, to my mind, anything 
 but an edifying sight to see people who really 
 ought to know better following slavishly in 
 the wake of the gilded chariots of the "Rail- 
 way Princes," "Silver Kings," and "Golden 
 Emperors," as they flaunt it in Society's high- 
 ways. 
 
 Divested of their wealth, these folk, who, as a 
 rule, are the most uninteresting people imagin- 
 able, would make no figure on the world's 
 stage ; and those who worship them in wealth 
 to-day, would, for a certainty, cut them in 
 poverty to-morrow. This wealth-worship is
 
 294 -A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 not a very pleasing sign of the times, and it is 
 painful to see society tolerating in a Croesus 
 what, coming from a poorer man, it would turn 
 from in disgust. 
 
 Needless to say I have received many hand- 
 some offers not always delicately made from 
 these " monarchs ;" but their dollars have had 
 no charms for me. Once, however, at the 
 earnest request of an English friend of mine, 
 A monarch Lord D , I accepted an invitation to attend 
 
 of finance. . , , c , ,, i 
 
 a soiree given by one of these financial giants, 
 but it was on the distinct understanding that I 
 should not be asked to give any experiments. 
 But I had not been in the house more than a 
 few minutes, when the hostess opened fire upon 
 me. I escaped to an adjoining room, but was 
 speedily followed and cornered ; and all the 
 heavy artillery in the shape of numerous lovely 
 women was brought up to bombard me. They 
 coaxed and pleaded, sapped and mined, and, 
 needless to say, I fell, for I've not a very hard 
 heart, believe me. I gave a few experiments, 
 and at the first opportunity slipped away 
 unseen. 
 
 The next morning there came the sweetest 
 
 thing in notes, telling me how much the fair 
 
 hostess was indebted to me for my obligingness, 
 
 and begging my acceptance of an accompany- 
 
 His " little ing souvenir. The souvenir was contained in a 
 
 present.' handsome box, bearing the name of a famous 
 
 jeweller in the Rue de la Paix. I opened the 
 
 box, and found therein a glittering match-box.
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 295 
 
 But, alas ! all is not gold that glitters, and the 
 souvenir, I discovered, was merely silver gilt, of 
 neither interest nor artistic beauty. I quite 
 forget how much these trifling articles cost a 
 dozen, but I can unhesitatingly say that the 
 cost of one could not have been a very severe 
 strain upon a millionaire's pocket. 
 
 On another occasion, in Paris, I was induced 
 by some literary friends to give some of my 
 experiments in the house of an exceedingly 
 wealthy old lady of an aesthetic turn of mind. 
 The old lady was beside herself with excitement 
 over the experiments, and she thanked me so 
 warmly that I felt quite embarrassed. On 
 leaving, she asked for my London address, which 
 I gave her. She wrote to that address asking if The 
 I was still there, as she wished to despatch me a 
 souvenir. I wrote, saying that I should be pleased 
 to receive it, adding that I was remaining in 
 town during the season. But no souvenir came, 
 and some weeks having elapsed, I, thinking it 
 might have gone astray, knowing what odd 
 notions foreigners have of how parcels should be 
 addressed to English folk, I wrote to that effect. 
 She replied that she had despatched the souvenir 
 by a friend, it being too important to send by 
 vitesse ; but that her friend had been unable to 
 find my house. Would I give her my address 
 for the next month ? I gave it her in Brussels, 
 I think. The weeks ran into months, but still 
 nothing came ; but one day I heard that a 
 mysterious package from Paris had been follow-
 
 296 A Thought- Reader 1 s Thoughts. 
 
 ing me through almost every country in 
 Europe ; and finally it came up with me at 
 Amsterdam. I went to the Customs' Office, 
 wondering what the package could contain, and 
 from whom it could come ; for, to tell the truth, 
 I had by that time quite forgotten all about the 
 old lady and her present. At the Customs' 
 office I found a picture addressed to me, insured 
 for a considerable amount with very heavy 
 charges to pay. I was not permitted to see the 
 picture before paying the charges, and, when I 
 did pay them, I bitterly repented my rashness ; 
 for the wretched thing was a mere chromo draw- 
 ing, worth, I should think, about twopence a 
 square foot. I am afraid that my thoughts, as I 
 drove back in my carriage to the hotel, did not 
 take the form of blessings upon the sender, who 
 turned out to be the rich old lady aforesaid. 
 I pay the But this is not quite so bad as an affair which 
 piper, as occurred in connection with a club in a certain 
 
 well as . 
 
 dance the town in southern bpain. 1 had abandoned a 
 lucrative engagement in order to give a stance 
 to the members of the club, 1 for which I neither 
 asked nor expected payment ; but it was an 
 open secret that the members intended making 
 me a present as a remembrance of the occasion. 
 The present was to consist of an article of 
 
 1 The principal clubs in Spain have large saloons, in 
 which semi-public entertainments are given, at which the 
 greatest artistes appear. There are very few public halls 
 in Spain ; and it is often more advantageous for an artiste 
 to give his representations in these cercles than in the 
 theatres.
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 297 
 
 Spanish manufacture, together with a purse. 
 After the seance, we sat down to a most sump- 
 tuous repast, and a most enjoyable evening was 
 spent. 
 
 The next morning, just as I was leaving for 
 Madrid, the souvenir was handed to me, accom- 
 panied by an illuminated address, in which I, " Sir 
 Estuardo " (sic), was begged to remember the 
 givers ; but there was no purse. Said the de- 
 putation to my secretary after they had retired : 
 " The committee had thought it better to lay out 
 the money subscribed in a supper, which they 
 sincerely hoped the Senor had enjoyed. It had 
 been to them a most memorable evening, 
 &c., &c." So I had to dance and pay the piper 
 too. 
 
 There is nothing more annoying to a public Society 
 man be he singer, actor, musician, or thought- artistes. 
 reader, to be invited as a guest to a person's 
 house, and, when there, to be expected to 
 " oblige." The story about the great violinist who 
 was invited by a Jew financier to dinner, with 
 the request that he would be sure to bring his 
 fiddle with him, and who replied that personally 
 he would be glad to accept the invitation, but 
 that his fiddle was not in the habit of dining 
 out, will doubtless be familiar to most of my 
 readers ; whilst who has not heard of Sothern's 
 realistic rendering of the drunken scene in David 
 Garrick, as a protest against the bad taste of his 
 hosts in asking him to do something for their 
 amusement ? But the story about Meissonier
 
 298 A Thought-Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 is amongst the best of this kind, and will, I 
 think, be tolerably new to most people. 
 Meissonier Meissonier, after dining with a wealthy ban- 
 dinner 3 quier, was much pressed by that worthy to make 
 a little sketch in his daughter's birthday-book. 
 The idea was not agreeable to him, and he very 
 naturally resented it ; but finding his excuses 
 unavailing, he, in sheer desperation, took his 
 pencil and made the desired sketch, adding, with 
 grim humour at the foot of it, " J'ai paye mon 
 diner." 
 
 I do not, of course, vouch for the accuracy of 
 the above anecdote (for things do not always 
 occur as related), but simply give it as it was 
 told to me. Some artistes of a more practical 
 turn of mind have " obliged " as requested, but 
 have struck consternation into the hearts of 
 their hosts by sending in an exceedingly stiff 
 bill the next morning, which, for very shame, 
 they could not refuse to pay. 
 
 Animposi- For my own part, I have at different times 
 
 one's U good suffered much annoyance at the hands of 
 
 nature, titled and other snobs, to whose houses I 
 
 have been invited, and the following is a very 
 
 fair sample of how one's good-nature may be 
 
 imposed upon. A few months back, in Madrid, 
 
 the Duchess B asked us to her palace one 
 
 evening to meet Senor Canovas, the Premier, 
 and half-a-dozen other notables. But when we 
 arrived, I found to my surprise every room 
 thronged with people, many of whom I neither 
 knew nor cared two straws about. It was my
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 299 
 
 intention when I accepted the invitation to have 
 tried my hand at reading the thoughts of both 
 Senor Sagasta and his great political opponent; 
 but I had a strong disinclination to be made an which I 
 exhibition of; for the people, whose curiosity 
 must be considered as some excuse for their bad 
 manners, flocked round me like a holiday crowd 
 round the lions at feeding-time, clamouring for 
 some experiments. I felt I had been got there 
 under false pretences ; and I strongly resented 
 the bad taste of all concerned. It is true that 
 the guests were not so much to blame, for, as it 
 was afterwards explained, they had been invited 
 with the idea that they would see me perform. 
 I declined, however, to do anything of the kind, 
 and was in the act of withdrawing from a scene 
 which was highly distasteful to me, when the 
 duchess begged for a few moments' private con- 
 versation, previous to my carrying my intentions 
 into effect. Such an act she assured me would 
 place her in a terrible predicament ; she had 
 invited many distinguished people to meet us, 
 under the impression that I would not mind 
 giving a few exhibitions of my powers, and my 
 refusal would be fraught with most unpleasant 
 consequences to her. But I am grieved to say 
 that her distress did not touch me as it should 
 have done, for I felt deeply annoyed, and 
 reminded her of her promise to limit the number 
 of invitations to he persons agreed upon, which 
 promise, having been broken, relieved me from 
 undertaking what otherwise I should have been
 
 3OO A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 only too happy to have done. I will give her 
 Grace credit for feeling extremely sorry for 
 her mistake ; and I believe she would have 
 given worlds to have undone what she had 
 done ; but, all the same, it occurred to me that 
 it was a case where a lesson was needed ; so at 
 the risk of being thought bearish, I informed her 
 that my resolve was unalterable. 
 
 Then came those with whom I was acquainted, 
 
 and tried their persuasive powers upon me, and 
 
 fin illy, as I was stealing away, the Duke de Alba 
 
 JuTofThe ca ^ e d me on one side, an d showed me a way 
 
 dilemma, out of the dilemma. 
 
 " You are giving a seance to-morrow for the 
 poor," said the Duke, "why not utilize the 
 occasion as an advertisement for the charity ? 
 You give some experiments, and we will make 
 the people here take tickets for to-morrow's 
 stance." 
 
 " But will they ? " 
 
 " Oh, yes ; they can't very well refuse." 
 
 " They may promise in the moment to do so," 
 I replied ; " but you, my dear Duke, know what 
 mere promises amount to." 
 
 "Quite so," he added. "But we must have 
 something more substantial than mere promises 
 
 to go upon. H (referring to a mutual 
 
 friend) has brought some tickets with him ; and 
 so soon as the experiments are over, we will go 
 amongst the people and sell them." 
 l[ h f , The Duke's plan had a fascination for me ; 
 
 Duke s r 
 
 plan ; for in it I saw the prospect of not only benefiting
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 301 
 
 the poor, but paying myself off on my tor- 
 mentors, and I accordingly fell in with it. 
 
 " Senor Cumberland has kindly consented to 
 give some experiments," said the Duke, amidst 
 great applause, in which the hostess beamed and 
 nodded her head in a manner that expressed her 
 great satisfaction at being relieved from a most 
 awkward situation. 
 
 " But it is to be expected " and the Duke's 
 clear voice sounded through the palace " that 
 every one here will, in consideration of his kind- 
 ness, take tickets for the representation which 
 he gives to-morrow on behalf of the poor." 
 
 The applause when his Grace concluded was 
 not, I regret to say, either as spontaneous or as 
 hearty as that at the commencement ; and I 
 noticed that much of the eagerness that the 
 Duke's first words excited died out of the eyes 
 of those who heard. 
 
 I gave some experiments, commencing with and how it 
 Senor Canovas, whom I found to be an excellent 
 subject ; and at their conclusion the fun began. 
 Tickets were given to the Duchess to dispose of, 
 whilst the Duke and Duchess de Alba and others 
 cornered every one they could get at. But 
 many refused to be cornered, and swept by the 
 ticket-sellers with a far-away look in their eyes 
 that is noticeable in a debtor when he sees a 
 pressing creditor drawing near, whilst many of 
 those to whom the tickets were offered were 
 exceedingly prolific in excuses for not taking 
 them. Some suddenly remembered previous
 
 302 A Thought Readers Thoughts. 
 
 engagements, others begged to be excused on 
 account of indisposition or a recent death in the 
 family, whilst not a few preferred to get their 
 tickets at the doors, which preference, sad to say, 
 did not materially add to the receipts. On the 
 whole, however, we did not do so badly, and I 
 was thereby enabled to considerably increase 
 my donation to the poor, and relieve a good deal 
 of distress, for which I received the hearty 
 thanks of the Civil Governor, through whose 
 agency the money was distributed. 
 
 In my time I have been the means of obtaining 
 large sums of money for charities, amounting in 
 the aggregate to several thousand pounds, and 
 I hope to be of still further assistance to the cause 
 of charity ; but I must confess that, on the 
 whole, giving representations of this character is 
 a somewhat thankless task, and I have, through 
 the lethargy and carelessness of those most in- 
 terested, not infrequently found myself burdened 
 with heavy liabilities, in addition to giving all 
 my labour for nothing. 
 
 It also occasionally happens that those whom 
 
 you most benefit are the least grateful. 
 
 " Some- As an mstance m point, I gave a representa- 
 
 what ^ tion in Melbourne in aid of a highly-deserving 
 
 local hospital, which netted a considerable sum 
 
 of money thereby. The promoters of this 
 
 meeting, however, were anything but prompt in 
 
 acknowledging the services I had rendered the 
 
 charity ; and to this day I have never received 
 
 the money I actually paid out of pocket in con-
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 303 
 
 nection therewith. This, considering that I not 
 only gave my services free, but devoted much 
 valuable time to the affair, besides being made 
 ill through giving the seance under exceedingly 
 trying conditions, is, I am free to confess, some- 
 what rough. 
 
 But other charities for which I worked whilst 
 in Australia proved more grateful, and their 
 thankfulness amply atoned for the brusqueness 
 of the one in question. 
 
 I once gave a seance in Russia in aid of the Not worth 
 Croix Rouge, but I did not even get so much as ledging. 
 an acknowledgment of the money (close upon a 
 thousand roubles) I handed the President of that 
 Society ; but, as I have explained elsewhere, the 
 ways of Official Russia are such as no outsider 
 can understand. 
 
 With respect to the Croix Rouge, when I was 
 in Brussels I intimated my intention of giving 
 a special seance in aid of the poor, and I was at 
 once besieged by the representatives of the 
 various charitable societies, amongst them by 
 two officials of the Red Cross. In return for 
 my assistance, these gentlemen at once offered 
 to give me the decoration of the order, and they 
 brought the brevet duly signed, together with 
 the insignia (a gorgeous affair of considerable 
 magnitude), which, however, I declined with 
 thanks. They seemed both surprised and hurt 
 at this ; but, finding me obdurate about the 
 matter, they, with commendable promptness, 
 agreed to co-operate with a rival committee, at
 
 304 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 Acknow- 
 ledged 
 with 
 thanks. 
 
 whose disposal I had decided to place my ser- 
 vices. 
 
 The seance I eventually gave was a great 
 success, and my services were recognized by the 
 receipt of a flattering testimonial and the huge 
 silver medal of the "Association pour Secourir 
 les Pauvres Honteux, sous le Patronage du Rot." 
 
 But of all the assistance I have at different 
 times rendered charitable and other institutions, 
 none, I think, has been more warmly appreciated 
 than my efforts to further the cause of Lady 
 Dufferin's " Fund for Supplying Female Medical 
 Aid to the Women of India ;" and the following 
 graceful letter of acknowledgment speaks for 
 itself: 
 
 " Government House, Calcutta. 
 
 "DEAR MR. CUMBERLAND, I am extremely 
 obliged to you for your very handsome donation 
 to my Fund. I shall immediately inscribe you 
 upon my list of Life Members. We also enjoyed 
 the evening in the Town Hall very much, and 
 were greatly interested in seeing the exhibition 
 of your powers there. Thanking you again for 
 the substantial aid you have given me, 
 
 " I remain, yours truly, 
 
 "HARRIET DUFFERIN." 
 
 In addition to the representations given spe- 
 cially in aid of the poor, I have during my public 
 career succeeded in winning quite a budget of 
 bank-notes for various local charities from people
 
 A TJmight- Reader's Thoughts. 305 
 
 sceptical as to my ability to read the numbers 
 of the said notes. 
 
 There is nothing in connection with thought- 
 reading that the average Englishman is so scep- 
 tical about as the power of a thought-reader to 
 tell the figures on a bank-note, whilst, in reality, Bank-note 
 with a good " subject," it is an experiment as readm - 
 easy of accomplishment as any other test. But 
 in virtue, I suppose, of the various challenges 
 which have been made in connection with this 
 particular form of experiment, the public has 
 come to view bank-note reading as a thing out- 
 side the possibilities of genuine thought-reading ; 
 and there is scarcely a town in England where 
 some one could not be found ready to wager 
 against its being done. 
 
 " If you can read the number of this note," I 
 have had people say, jumping up in the audience 
 and flourishing bank-notes concealed in enve- 
 lopes, " you can have it." 
 
 " Thanks, but I have no desire to deprive you 
 of your bank-notes," I have invariably replied ; 
 " but if you find their presence burdensome to 
 you and wish to be relieved of them, why not 
 hand them over to some local charity, which 
 would probably make a far better use of them 
 than I should ? If you, therefore, like me to try 
 an experiment under the condition that if I 
 tell the number of the note you give it to a 
 charity, I am willing to proceed ; but I must 
 refuse in any case to accept any bank-note for 
 myself." 
 
 X
 
 306 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 
 
 This proposal has invariably been agreeable 
 to the challenger, and I do not remember a case 
 where, the conditions having been duly observed, 
 I have failed. 
 
 A notable One of the most remarkable cases of this 
 "" se ' character occurred at Sheffield, some five years 
 ago. Two well-known professional men at 
 Nottingham had a dispute about the genuine- 
 ness of thought-reading, and one said that it 
 was not possible for me to read the number of 
 a bank-note that he had in his pocket. This 
 statement, the other, who had been the chair- 
 man at one of my meetings in Nottingham, took 
 exception to, and the result was a wager of $ 
 a side. I was at the time in Sheffield, and a 
 friend was deputed by the disputants to wait 
 upon me and submit the terms of the wager. 
 
 I agreed to try the experiment at one of my 
 public representations in Sheffield, on the con- 
 dition that the money, if I succeeded, should be 
 given to the Sheffield Infirmary. This was 
 agreed to, and the experiment came off in the 
 large Cutlers' Hall, with the Master Cutler in 
 the chair. The challenger was given his choice 
 of any representative gentleman in the audience 
 with whom the experiment should be performed, 
 and he chose some one who was an absolute 
 stranger to me. The " subject," the challenger, 
 and the chairman adjourned to a private room, 
 where the challenger produced a note in a sealed 
 envelope which he, by way of making sure 
 against its being got at, at once stitched to the
 
 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 307 
 
 coat of the " subject," after he had made him 
 acquainted with the number of the note. They 
 then returned to the platform ; and, taking the 
 " subject " by the hand, I, without much diffi- 
 culty, succeeded, amidst intense excitement, in 
 placing the correct number on a black-board. 
 
 The note, to which I added 5 out of my 
 own pocket, was duly handed over to the In- 
 firmary, and so terminated a test which had 
 excited a profound interest throughout the 
 neighbourhood. 
 
 The number of figures on a bank-note with About the 
 
 T> r T* figures on 
 
 the exception of a Bank of England note, bank- 
 which has never more nor less than five figures notes - 
 varies considerably; and in foreign countries 
 one frequently comes across notes with a pain- 
 fully long string of them. This is perplexing 
 to the ordinary " subject," who experiences great 
 difficulty in remembering in sequence a long 
 array of figures. He is apt to forget them or 
 misplace them, and the result is most unsatisfac- 
 tory to the person who is trying to read his 
 thoughts. A thought-reader cannot tell what a 
 " subject " does not know, and he can only put 
 down what is passing through his " subject's " 
 mind at the time ; and if the " subject " thinks 
 of a 5 when it should be a 4, down goes the 5 
 and not the 4. 
 
 I have had many amusing instances of man's 
 perplexedness in this direction, of which an affair 
 with a note in an out-of-the way town in the 
 States is the most prominent in my recollection. 
 
 X 2
 
 308 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 Some one had provided a note at one of my 
 representations, the figures upon which were so 
 numerous, that the chairman suggested that he 
 and the committee-man who was to act as the 
 They " subject," should adjourn to another room and 
 t1th U the thoroughly master the number. This they did, 
 note ; but they were gone such a long time, that the 
 audience became somewhat impatient, whilst 
 the owner of the note showed unmistakable 
 anxiety as to its safety. Noticing his anxiety, 
 I suggested that he should go and look after his 
 property. He at once acted upon the suggestion 
 and disappeared. The minutes went by, and 
 he did not return, and eventually I became 
 myself- anxious ; so, asking the audience to 
 excuse me for a moment, I went in search of 
 the missing men. After searching for them 
 through the dressing-rooms in vain, I finally 
 found them comfortably located round the 
 theatre-bar discussing Bourbon whisky. 
 
 " Hullo, Professor " (with an American every 
 public man is ' Professor '), said the chairman, 
 " come and chip in ; there is just a quarter left. 
 What's it to be, a cocktail or a " 
 
 " Nothing, thanks," I broke in. " I came to 
 see where you had got to ; the people are 
 getting impatient, and I v/ant to get the experi- 
 ment over. Where's the bank-note ? " 
 
 " Bank-note ? " and he gave a deep chuckle, 
 winking slyly at the bar-tender the while. 
 " Why, Professor, that's just the trouble. We've 
 all been trying our level best to cypher out that
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 309 
 
 number, and it's beat us every time. It'd take 
 a pretty level-headed mathematician to remem- 
 ber one half the number, let alone the whole of 
 it ; and so we decided to peter it out in whiskies and 
 and get rid of the darned thing-. It'll pive'' pet "" 
 
 f & P e it out m 
 
 Eddie (the bar-tender), something to puzzle whiskies, 
 over when business is slack. Here, Eddie, give 
 me three cigars that is, if you won't join us, 
 Professor ;" and he threw the remaining twenty- 
 five cent piece on the counter, and munching 
 some roasted coffee-berries, he, followed by his 
 companions, made his way back to the plat- 
 form. 
 
 The first person with whom I read the The first 
 number of a bank-note was Baron Henry de "subject" 
 Worms ; and Sir Joseph Ellis, then Lord Mayor I read the 
 of London, provided the note. This experiment J^nk- f 
 took place in the house of the Baroness Henry de note. 
 Worms, then Mrs. Sarah Phillips, who was one 
 of the first leaders of fashion to take an interest 
 in the subject of thought-reading. I was on 
 the point of leaving for America ; and in order 
 to give the seance I had to abandon a farewell 
 public representation arranged for the same 
 evening. I mention this by way of instancing 
 the fine feeling displayed by my hostess in con- 
 nection with the matter. I am, as the world 
 goes, a wretchedly poor man ; but at that time 
 I was even poorer than I now am, and could not 
 very well afford to lose an engagement. Mrs. 
 Phillips knew that I did not take fees for private 
 representations, and she was at the same time
 
 310 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 True 
 gentility. 
 
 Baron 
 Henry de 
 Worms. 
 
 aware that (although the seance she had 
 arranged might in the end be of greater service 
 to me, as well as being in every way more 
 agreeable) I had* given up another engagement 
 in order to be with her that evening. But she 
 managed to solve the difficulty with that tact 
 and delicacy for which she is justly famous. 
 As I was saying good-night to Baron de Worms, 
 who was promising to send me a letter acknow- 
 ledging my success with him, Mrs. Phillips 
 came up and said with considerable warmth : 
 " Every one is delighted with your experiments, 
 and you have made many converts. Permit me 
 to subscribe my name to your list of believers," 
 handing meat the same time an envelope, which 
 at the moment I took to contain a testimonial 
 of some sort or other. 
 
 On returning to my hotel I opened it, and 
 found it contained a note of thanks accompanied 
 by a cheque for the amount that I should have 
 made out of the public representation I had 
 abandoned. 
 
 This I consider to be an act of true gentility, 
 and in this age of unthinking snobbishness is, I 
 think, worthy of being recorded. 
 
 Baron Henry de Worms proved himself to be 
 an excellent " subject," for he is a man of marked 
 determination and concentration of thought. 
 
 As a politician he will, I am inclined to think, 
 play an important role in the immediate future ; 
 for he not only has push, perseverance, and 
 pluck, but he has, in addition, great natural
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 3 1 1 
 
 abilities. A brilliant linguist, he knows as much 
 about foreign politics as any man in the house ; 
 and I feel disposed to prophesy that, with his 
 party in power, he will eventually become the 
 Secretary of State for Foreign Affairs. The Baron 
 has succeeded in captivating Prince Bismarck ; 
 and I happen to know that the Chancellor has 
 a great belief in him which is saying a good 
 deal. 
 
 Since the above-mentioned seance, thought- 
 reading experiments of one sort and another have 
 been performed in almost every drawing-room in 
 London ; and to-day so-called thought-readers 
 can be hired for an evening's entertainment 
 with a group of marionettes, or a string band. 
 Thought-reading experiments, if they possess 
 any interest at all, have a scientific interest, 
 and they cannot be produced to order like a 
 waltz or a cabbage from out of a hat ; yet one 
 sees these latter-day thought-readers careering Latter-day 
 around London drawing-rooms in search o f tho "S ht ' 
 
 readers ; 
 
 pins, or other hidden objects, at the whim of 
 any one who may feel desirous of commanding 
 them. When a man takes a fee for his even- 
 ing's work, he, as a matter of course, has to give 
 his fee's worth ; and he would be wanting in 
 respect did he not obey the wishes which in 
 reality are the commands of his hirer. 
 
 Now, as I have already said, thought-reading 
 experiments cannot be or ought not to be pro- 
 duced to order ; and to be ordered to perform an 
 experiment with some one with whom failure is
 
 312 A Thought-Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 inevitable, should be most galling to any one 
 with a legitimate turn for thought-reading, 
 and their But the hired entertainers who hunt for pins in 
 London drawing-rooms, have, I fear, but little 
 pride in their art ; and society, which looks 
 upon such folks as no more to them than the 
 powdered flunkies in the hall, treats them with 
 but scant courtesy. But this, alas ! is not all ; 
 these entertainers not only permit themselves to 
 be at the beck and call of every one present, 
 but they eke out an evening's entertainment 
 by adding musical oddities and conjuring 
 tricks to their repertoire of thought-reading 
 illustrations. So that society, which seldom 
 takes the trouble to sift the wheat from the 
 chaff, invariably gets hopelessly confused as to 
 which is the thought-reading and which the con- 
 juring ; and it not infrequently happens that a 
 man gets applauded as a thought-reader for 
 dexterously changing a half-crown into a penny, 
 and condemned as a conjuror when by his 
 process of thought-reading he correctly indicates 
 an object thought of. After-dinner guests have 
 neither the time nor the inclination to give 
 such matters serious consideration ; and it is 
 all one to them whether the so-called thought- 
 reader dances a jig, reads the number of a bank- 
 note, or conjures with a pink-eyed rabbit : they 
 want to be amused, nothing more. 
 
 There is, of course, no copyright in thought- 
 reading ; and any one who has the memory, 
 gift of perception, and sufficient hard cash to
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts* 313 
 
 buy a blindfold is at liberty to try his hand ; 
 but all the same, it is exceedingly hard that 
 so interesting a subject should be so seriously r 
 lowered in the public estimation by the antics J 
 
 brought to. 
 
 of its latter-day professors, who do not confine 
 their engagements to drawing-rooms, but from 
 time to time appear at garden-parties in com- 
 pany of Aunt Sally men, round-abouts, and 
 peripatetic niggers. 
 
 I have, in fact, an advertisement before me, 
 cut from a leading newspaper in the west of 
 England, in which I see that a " thought-reader 
 and drawing-room entertainer " is to appear at 
 a public entertainment, side by side with Punch 
 and Judy, Aunt Sallies, may-pole dancers, &c., 
 &c. 
 
 Fancy a thought-reader waiting behind the 
 may-pole to do his " turn " immediately after the 
 " three-shies -a-penny " folk had exhausted their 
 stock of loose coppers, or the bringing down of 
 the curtain upon the domestic tragedy of Punch 
 and Judy. 
 
 After this, what next ? Well, it would not The last 
 surprise me to see some of these so-called sta eo 
 thought-readers in slack times allying them- 
 selves with the Italian organ-grinder and his 
 monkey, the blind man and his dog, or the 
 " happy family " man and his fortune-telling 
 canaries. With a good pitch such a combina- 
 tion would probably take very well for a time, and 
 the thought-reader would, maybe, find his share 
 of the profits fully equal to the fee he was in
 
 314 A 7 hought- Readers Thoughts. 
 
 the habit of receiving for rushing about blind- 
 folded in crowded drawing-rooms during the 
 season. 
 
 The wretched travesties of my experiments 
 have, it must be confessed, served to lower the 
 subject of thought-reading in the eyes of the 
 general public, whilst at the same time they have 
 done me incalculable harm, for those who have 
 As like the witnessed only the imitations, which are 
 article 6 frequently no more like the genuine article than 
 as an an artichoke is like a moss-rose, have been too 
 is like a disappointed, and in some cases too disgusted, 
 moss-rose. O think the matter worthy of any further con- 
 sideration. 
 
 Whilst, however, thought-reading is no longer 
 the craze that it was a few years back, there is 
 still a very great interest in the subject, and I 
 find people ever ready to witness my experiments, 
 and to hear what I have to say with regard to 
 the modus operandi. 
 
 There is, I suppose, no subject whatsoever 
 about which there are so many diverse opinions 
 as this said thought-reading. Some people 
 curtly dismiss it as mere trickery, others attri- 
 bute it to " spirit influence," some explain it on 
 the principle of magnetism, others on the basis 
 of mesmerism, telepathy, or " brain-waves/' whilst 
 but a very few understand how the experiments 
 are actually performed. 
 
 The modus The basis of experiment is the same in every 
 thought fcase > whether it be the finding of a pin, the 
 reading, reading of the number of a bank-note, or the
 
 A Thought-Reader's Thoughts. 315 
 
 reproduction of an imaginary murder scene ; and 
 the indication of the thought is conveyed to me 
 by the thinker through the action of his physical 
 system. For let it be clearly understood that 
 I at no time get any so-called " mental picture " 
 of what is passing in the mind of my " subject," 
 and all this talk about " mental-picture reading " 
 is so much idle rubbish. 
 
 I take a person by the hand (the left orthe right, 
 it does not particularly matter which, although 
 it is, as a rule, easier to work with the left than 
 the right), and ask him to think of an object ; 
 he does so, letting the object selected be the 
 dominant idea in his mind, the result being a 
 physical indication of the direction of the object, 
 which, being followed up, finally leads to the 
 object itself. 
 
 In my experiments I am always blindfolded, Why I am 
 in order that my attention may not be distracted 
 by light or movement, but all the same I am 
 perfectly wide-awake to receive impressions. In 
 working them out I try, whenever possible, to 
 take the initiative, in preference to following my 
 subject's lead. This way is certainly more diffi- 
 cult than the other, but, at the same time, it is 
 far more effective. 
 
 It is very seldom that I fail in my experi- 
 ments ; for, given an honest man who is able to 
 concentrate his thoughts, success is certain. It 
 is practically impossible for a man to concentrate 
 his thoughts upon a certain article in such a 
 manner that that becomes the sole idea in his
 
 316 A Thought- Reader 's Thoughts. 
 
 mind, without, whilst in contact with the operator, 
 betraying a muscular tension in its direction. 
 Reading It is not given to any thought-reader to read 
 w'ithout* tne thoughts of another, save on the principle of 
 physical physical interpretation, despite the assertions of 
 the Psychical Society to the contrary. It is 
 true that members of this profoundly learned 
 society and other mystically-inclined folk claim 
 to be able to read thoughts without such physical 
 contact ; but the reader may take my word for 
 it that, in the main, it is sheer fudge. For the 
 stories one hears of the extraordinary results 
 achieved in this direction are often unconsciously 
 or wilfully exaggerated, whilst the results are 
 very seldom, if ever, achieved under the condi- 
 tions which are claimed for them. 
 
 I have come across much of this sort of thing, 
 but I have not yet seen an instance of reading 
 thoughts without contact which could not be 
 satisfactorily explained on the basis of guess- 
 work, unconscious suggestion, or wilful trickery. 
 If, instead of bothering their heads as to how 
 the brain-waves pass from the subject to the 
 operator, investigators of this sort of thing were 
 to more closely observe the conditions under 
 which the experiments are brought about, they 
 would doubtless find quite enough outside sug- 
 gestion and indication to account for much of 
 what takes place. 
 
 Percep- Thought-reading, as far as I am concerned, is 
 
 !ou n ch. f simply the perception of touch, and nothing 
 
 more ; and I do not believe that one man can
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 3 1 7 
 
 look into the mind of another and see by 
 " mental-picture reading " what is going on 
 therein, any more than he can see through a 
 stone wall or into the middle of next week. 
 
 It is true that, in addition to being able to get 
 at a person's thoughts by means of unconscious 
 muscular tensions, one can frequently read 
 another's intentions in a general way by watching 
 the facial expressions or by noting and inter- 
 preting the bodily expressions. But all this is 
 mere body-reading, although such interpreters Body 
 of other people's thoughts and intentions fre- readm s- 
 quently mistake a natural keenness of perception 
 for some uncanny gift, and, if encouraged in 
 their delusions, will in due course arrive at the 
 stage when they will see in their mind's eye 
 " auras," and feel " strange magnetic currents " 
 running through them. 
 
 With some people the gift of character-reading Character 
 is strongly marked, yet even the most proficient readin y- 
 frequently get taken in, whilst it often happens 
 that the most trustworthy folk, merely on account 
 of not being sympathetic to the character-readers, 
 or for some other trifling cause, may be altogether 
 misjudged. 
 
 Lord Beaconsfield was a keen judge of cha- 
 racter, yet he from time to time made mistakes> 
 and his original impressions of people with whom 
 he came in contact frequently underwent con- 
 siderable change. 
 
 First impressions are, as a general thing, cor- First im- 
 rect, but much depends upon the condition one P ressions>
 
 318 A T hou^ht- Reader s Thoughts. 
 
 is in both to receive and to give impressions ; 
 for many a man has ruined his reputation for 
 politeness whilst suffering from dyspepsia, and 
 many a woman her character for amiability whilst 
 labouring under the evil effects of tight-lacing 
 or the wearing of tight boots. 
 
 Very few people worth studying at all are two 
 days alike, and the more sensitive and emotional 
 they are the more readily they become influenced 
 by surroundings and circumstances, so that it 
 repeatedly happens that you form of some 
 worthy person, whom you for the first time come 
 across in unfavourable moments, an altogether 
 incorrect impression ; and as you may neither 
 have the opportunity of falling in with him 
 again, nor the desire to further consider him, the 
 conclusion first arrived at, unjust as it may be, 
 remains unchanged. 
 
 Yet there is a good deal to be said in favour 
 of first impressions, which, as I have already 
 stated, are on the whole correct. There is about 
 these " first impressions " a something which, 
 although practically undefinable, is frequently 
 irresistible. With some people you are at once 
 en rapport, whilst others jar upon you like the 
 striking of a note out of tune. Some, you feel, 
 might influence you for good and others for bad, 
 and vice versa. Some you at once feel a child- 
 like confidence in, whilst others fill you with 
 deep distrust ; and so on ad infinitum. 
 About The facial expression is not always the true 
 
 ^^ral m dex to the mind, and one may be repeatedly
 
 A Thought- Reader s Thoughts. 319 
 
 led astray by accepting it as such. I have 
 known people lie with a glibness that was most 
 convincing who could maintain an appearance 
 of the most perfect sincerity. It is not through 
 watching the facial expressions that such people 
 are found out, but by noting the bodily indica- 
 tions. My theory is that every habitual liar, no 
 matter how accomplished, is liable to betray 
 himself by some physical peculiarity or other. 
 It is not natural to man to lie that is delibe- 
 rately and wilfully and the novice is liable to be 
 at once discovered, be it in the shiftiness of the 
 eye, the nervous twitching of the mouth, or the 
 deep flush of shame and confusion which mantles 
 his cheeks ; but with the habitual liar it is quite 
 another matter. He knows that ninety-nine 
 people out of a hundred scrutinize another's face 
 when they wish to be convinced of his truthful- 
 ness, and they steel themselves accordingly : the 
 face of a liar being as inscrutable as that of the 
 proverbial sphinx. There are still, I suppose, 
 believer's in the honest, manly, good old truth, 
 who feel convinced that a man cannot look you 
 in the face and tell you a lie ; but, bless their 
 dear, trustful hearts, this is just what your 
 habitual liar does, and with his tongue in his 
 cheek the while. 
 
 But lying being a weakness, it is bound to 
 betray itself somehow or other ; and I can 
 assure my readers that men who whilst lying 
 could look the keenest person in the face without 
 flinching, have been known to otherwise give
 
 320 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 themselves away in the most unmistakable 
 manner. It may have been in the twitching of 
 the fingers, the nervous tapping of the foot, the 
 thrusting of a thumb or a finger in the waist- 
 coat pocket, or any other such bodily movement ; 
 but that action, whatever it may have been, was 
 the one that provided the index to his thoughts. 
 Such, movement, moreover, would be habitual 
 with him, and peculiar only to the moment when 
 he was lying. 
 
 Very few, I take it, are so thoroughly lost to 
 all sense of shame without feeling some sort of 
 compunction at wilful lying, and whilst the liar 
 is steeling his face against betrayal, he is 
 unconsciously betraying himself in other direc- 
 tions. 
 
 As an instance in point : 
 
 and one in I once knew a man, whom Mark Twain would 
 particular. p er haps have designated as the " prettiest liar in 
 creation." . He altogether falsified the adage 
 about a liar not being able to look you straight 
 in the face, for he would, whilst grossly lying, 
 look at you in the most direct manner ; in fact so 
 straight was his gaze that you invariably would 
 lower your eyes before his, as if you in reality 
 were the sinner, and not he. 
 
 He tried his hand with me, and momentarily 
 took me in ; for I could not conceive it possible 
 that a man could lie so glibly and yet maintain 
 such an air of perfect, unblushing innocence. 
 
 The next time I fell in with him was on an 
 occasion when it was to his advantage to lie,
 
 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 321 
 
 and that he was equal to the occasion goes 
 without saying. Yet all the while his expres- 
 sion was ingenuousness itself. I, however, 
 noticed, that whilst a smile wreathed his lips, 
 and his light blue eyes danced in playful in- 
 nocence, there was a suspicious nervous action 
 of the fingers of the left hand as he grasped his 
 watch-chain. To give the man credit, he never 
 lied purposelessly, and only upon matters affect- 
 ing his own interests ; but when the purpose was 
 there, there was no limit to where he thought 
 himself justified in throwing the hatchet. On 
 another occasion I had some business to dis- 
 cuss with him very much to his advantage ; and 
 I noticed him involuntarily stretch out his 
 thumb to hook in his watch-chain preparatory 
 to launching forth. Suddenly he paused, 
 blushed and stammered, and in his confusion he 
 actually told the truth. 
 
 On looking down where his hand had gone, 
 I saw that he had come out without his watch- 
 chain. 
 
 Naturally truthful men experience much 
 greater difficulty than do habitual liars in con- 
 trolling their feelings. That is to say, they 
 much more readily give themselves away by 
 some physical indication or other, in many 
 instances the indications being so transparent 
 that a child could run and read them. 
 
 It. may or may not be an advantage for a 
 man to be able to judge of another man's Ly ; ng wi]1 
 sincerity offhand ; but I believe that I can, imme- out - 
 
 Y
 
 322 A Thought-Readers Thoughts. 
 
 diately I shake a man by the hand, tell what his 
 true feelings are with regard to me. A man 
 may wreathe his face with smiles when he 
 receives me, but if they do not correctly express 
 his thoughts, there will be almost sure to be a 
 bodily something about him that will betray 
 him. A man -may retain an idea to himself 
 against all the thought-readers and clairvoy- 
 antes in the world, but he cannot retain a feeling. 
 Some people do not, of course, attempt to hide 
 their feelings, and their expressions of annoy- 
 ance or dislike are so clearly marked as to be 
 intelligible to the very dullest : others do try to 
 hide their feelings under a mask, but their 
 emotions often get the better of them, and in 
 the twitching and constant shifting of the mask 
 one can see readily what is hid beneath. 
 
 Mr. Gladstone, of all the notable men I have 
 met, is about the least able to mask his 
 emotions, skilful though he is in cloaking his 
 thoughts. 
 
 With respect to so-called thought-reading 
 without contact, the frequency with which a 
 similar idea will strike two people at precisely 
 the same moment is puzzling to most folks ; 
 but one, I think, may take it that in most cases 
 the idea expressed has been led up to by 
 conversation, or is simply the result of two 
 persons of a similar way of thinking arriving 
 simultaneously at a conclusion about a thing 
 which each, unconscious to the other, has in the 
 moment noted. But there is no thought-read-
 
 A Thought- Reader's Thoughts. 323 
 
 ing about this sort of thing. Neither could 
 in all probability have told the other what he 
 was thinking about : each one simply expressed 
 his own thoughts, and not the thoughts of the 
 other. 
 
 " Talk of the Devil and his imp will appear," " Talk of 
 
 _... . the Devil," 
 
 is a proverb which it not exactly carried out to & c . 
 
 the letter is strangely exemplified in a modified 
 sense ; for it is perfectly astonishing how 
 frequently it happens that a person you may 
 speak or think about, suddenly puts in an 
 appearance. I have never been able to quite 
 satisfy myself concerning this matter, although 
 coincidence doubtless covers the whole ground. 
 But for my own part I can safely say that the 
 idea which has suddenly struck me whilst out 
 walking that I should meet or see so-and-so, has in 
 most cases been completely realized, although 
 perhaps the person in question may have been 
 the last person in the world I should have 
 expected to have seen. 
 
 A case in point. A few days back I was A curious 
 wending my way towards Fleet Street, my mind 
 occupied concerning a certain contract which 
 was in dispute, and which I might have to con- 
 sult my solicitor (Mr. Theodore Lumley) about. 
 I was picturing myself laying my case before my 
 solicitor when the idea flashed across me that I 
 should meet him. I looked up suddenly, and 
 lo ! a few yards ahead of me, was Mr. Lumley. 
 I explained to him what had occurred ; and he 
 replied, " It is very odd ; I have just left the 
 Y 2
 
 324 A Thought -Readers Thoughts. 
 
 Law Courts, where I had expected to have been 
 occupied for two days, but the case upon which 
 I was engaged has come to a sudden termina- 
 tion, and until a few moments ago I had no 
 idea I should be turning my steps homeward." 
 
 The Spiritualists will, of course, say that I 
 was for the moment " clairvoyant" whilst the 
 Psychical Research folk will doubtless see in it 
 an indisputable instance of " brain waves" 
 passing between Mr. Lumleyand myself; whilst 
 the Theosophists will, I suppose, be equally 
 certain that my friend despatched his " astral 
 body " to notify me of his approach, my " astral 
 body" the meanwhile journeying to the Law 
 Courts to bring him along immediately upon 
 the conclusion of the case. 
 
 The whole thing, of course, was a mere 
 coincidence ; but, all the same, coincidences are 
 frequently as curious as they are apparently 
 inexplicable. 
 
 There is with most folk a hankering after the 
 supernatural in some form or other, and many 
 people are quite disappointed when a thing 
 which they fondly imagine could only be 
 explained away supernaturally proves to be 
 explicable upon a natural basis. It behoves 
 irst ex- every one, however, to exhaust the natural before 
 haust the rus hing to the supernatural for the true explana- 
 tion of what may appear to be for the moment 
 incapable of elucidation, and it may be at once 
 acceded that any one who claims to be able to 
 produce or perform things contrary to the laws
 
 A Thought- Readers Thoughts. 325 
 
 of nature is either self-deceived or is guilty of 
 wilful false-pretence. Nature's mantle is quite 
 ample enough to cover all so-called occult 
 phenomena, and the person has yet to be born, 
 be he Spirit-medium, Theosophist or Thought- 
 reader, who can produce manifestations which 
 are not explicable on a perfectly natural basis. 
 
 The gift of what is termed thought-reading, The gift of 
 
 . . . T , thought- 
 
 but which more properly speaking is, as I have rea ding. 
 pointed out, merely body-reading, is not of 
 course confined to myself, for there are doubt- 
 less thousands of people in the world who 
 possess in a greater or lesser degree the 
 necessary qualifications. Nine-tenths of the 
 people do not, and, maybe, never will know it ; 
 and a large proportion of the remaining tenth, 
 whilst being conscious of the fact, would in all 
 probability not take the trouble to develop the 
 faculty. The number, therefore, of people left Who pos- 
 from which thought-readers might be evolved 
 is exceeding small ; and the world could count 
 on the fingers of one hand the names of those 
 thought-readers with whom it is familiar. 
 
 Whilst many people are able to do certain 
 experiments remarkably well in the family 
 circle, where every one is friendly disposed, but 
 very few of these find themselves able to face 
 critical public audiences. Thought-reading is The wear 
 exceedingly exhausting work, and one suffers a Bought- 
 certain loss of vitality in producing the experi- reading, 
 ments, and a continuous practice of them is in 
 most cases likely to be injurious. A man must
 
 326 A Thought- Reader *s Thoughts. 
 
 have a fairly good physique to be able to stand 
 for long the wear and tear of thought-reading. 
 Some amateur operators especially emotional 
 young women have played sad havoc with 
 their nerves through following up the subject, 
 whilst from time to time one hears of the 
 complete break- down of would-be professional 
 performers. 
 
 For my part, I have not only ceased to make 
 further investigations in connection with the 
 subject, but I have practically given up experi- 
 menting altogether ; not so much on the 
 ground that my health was affected thereby, as 
 that other matters of greater moment have 
 occupied my thoughts and my time. Although 
 professionally I do not expect to again appear 
 in this country, I shall at any time be glad to 
 give my services for charitable purposes. 2 
 Adieu. I have not yet, however, finished my wander- 
 
 ings ; and in due course of time I hope to 
 submit to the public some further "thoughts," 
 including my impressions of the countries I shall 
 have visited and the people I shall have met 
 since the present work passed into the printers' 
 hands. Meanwhile, Adieu ! 
 
 " Any communications addressed to me to care of my 
 publishers (Messrs. Sampson Low and Co.), with refer- 
 ence to this matter will receive my prompt consideration. 
 
 THE END.
 
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 Mary Anerley. By R. D. BLACKMORE. 
 Tommy TJpmore. By R. D. BLACKMORE.
 
 1 8 Sampson Low, Mars ton, 6 Co.'s 
 
 Low's Standard Novels continued. 
 Bonaventure. By G. W. CABLE. 
 An English Squire. By Miss COLERIDGE. 
 Some One Else. By Mrs. B. M. CROKER. 
 Under the Stars and Stripes. By E. DE LEON. 
 Halfway. By Miss BETHAM-EDWARDS. 
 A Story of the Dragonnades. By Rev. E. GlLLlAT, M.A. 
 A Laodicean. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 Far from the Maddingr Crowd. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 Mayor of Casterbridgre. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 Pair of Blue Eyes. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 Beturn of the Native. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 The Hand of Ethelberta. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 The Trumpet Major. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 Two on a Tower. By THOMAS HARDY. 
 Old House at Sandwich. By JOSEPH HATTON. 
 Three Recruits. By JOSEPH HATTON. 
 A Golden Sorrow. By Mrs. CASHEL HOEY. New Edition. 
 A Stern Chase. By Mrs. CASHEL HOEY. 
 Out of Court. By Mrs. CASHEL HOEY. 
 Don John. By JEAN INGELOW. 
 John Jerome. By JEAN INGELOW. 51. 
 Sarah de Berenger. By JEAN INGELOW. 
 Adela Cathcart. By GEORGE MAC-DONALD. 
 Guild Court. By GEORGE MAC DONALD. 
 Mary Marston. By GEORGE MAC DONALD. 
 
 Stephen Archer. New Ed. of " Gifts." By GEORGE MAC DONALD. 
 The Vicar's Daughter. By GEORGE MAC DONALD. 
 Orts. By GEORGE MAC DONALD. 
 Weighed and Wanting. By GEORGE MAC DONALD. 
 Diane. By Mrs. MACQUOID. 
 Elinor Dryden. By Mrs. MACQUOID. 
 My Lady O-reensleeves. By HELEN MATHERS. 
 Spell of Ashtaroth. By DUFFIELD OSBORNE. 5*. 
 Alaric Spenceley. By Mrs. J. H. RIDDELL. 
 Daisies and Buttercups. By Mrs. J. H. RIDDELL. 
 The Senior Partner. By Mrs. J. H. RIDDELL. 
 A Struggle for Fame. By Mrs. J. H. RIDDELL. 
 Frozen Pirate. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 Jack's Courtship. ByW. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 John Holdsworth. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 A Sailor's Sweetheart. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 Sea Queen. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 Watch Below. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 Strange Voyage. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 Wreck of the Grosvenor. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 The Lady Maud. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 Little Loo. By W. CLARK RUSSELL. 
 Bee-man of Orn. By FRANK R. STOCKTON. 
 My Wifa and I. By Mrs. HARRIET B. STOWE.
 
 List of Publications. 1 9 
 
 Low's Standard Novels continued. 
 
 The Late Mrs. Null. By FRANK R. STOCKTON. 
 
 Hundredth Man. By FRANK R. STOCKTON. 
 
 Old Town Folk. By Mrs. HARRIET B. STOWE. 
 
 We and our Neighbours. By Mrs. HARRIET B. STOWE. 
 
 Poganuc People, their Loves and Lives. By Mrs. STOWE. 
 
 TJlu: an African Romance. By JOSEPH THOMSON. 
 
 Ben Hur : a Tale of the Christ. By LEW. WALLACE. 
 
 Anne. By CONSTANCE FENIMORE WOOLSON. 
 
 East Angrels. By CONSTANCE FENIMORE WOOLSON. 
 
 For the Major. By CONSTANCE FENIMORE WOOLSON. $s. 
 
 French Heiress in her own Chateau. 
 
 Low's Series of Standard Books for Boys. With numerous 
 
 Illustrations, 2s. 6d. ; gilt edges, 3^. 6d. each. 
 Dick Cheveley. By W. H. G. KINGSTON. 
 Heir of Kilfinnan. By W. H. G. KINGSTON. 
 Off to the Wilds. By G. MANVILLE FENN. 
 The Two Supercargoes. By W. H. G. KINGSTON. 
 The Silver Canon. By G. MANVILLE FENN. 
 Under the Meteor Flag-. By HARRY COLLINGWOOD. 
 Jack Archer: a Tale of the Crimea. By G. A. HENTY 
 The Mutiny on Board the Ship Leander. By B. HEI.DMANN. 
 With Axe and Rifle on the Western Prairies. By W. H. G. 
 
 KINGSTON. 
 Red Cloud, the Solitary Sioux : a Tale of the Great Prairie. 
 
 By Col. Sir WM. BUTLER, K.C.B. 
 
 The Voyage of the Aurora. By HARRY COLLINGWOOD. 
 Charmouth Grange : a Tale of the 17th Century. By J. 
 
 PERCY GROVES. 
 
 Snowshoes and Canoes. By W. H. G. KINGSTON. 
 The Son of the Constable of France. By Louis ROUSSELET. 
 Captain Mugford ; or, Our Salt and Fresh Water Tutors. 
 
 Edited by W. H. G. KINGSTON. 
 The Cornet of Horse, a Tale of Marlborough's Wars. By 
 
 G. A. HENTY. 
 
 The Adventures of Captain Mago. By LEON CAHUN. 
 Noble Words and Noble Needs. 
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 Hans Brinker; or, The Silver Skates. By Mrs. DODGE. 
 The Drummer-Boy, a Story of the time of Washington. By 
 
 ROUSSELET. 
 
 Adventures in New Guinea : The Narrative of Louis Tregance. 
 The Crusoes of Guiana. By BOUSSENARD. 
 
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 Winning His Spurs, a Tale of the Crusades. By G. A. HENTY. 
 The Blue Banner. By LEON CAHUN. 
 
 Low's Pocket Encyclopedia : a Compendium of General Know- 
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 20 Sampson Low, Marston, c^ Co.'s 
 
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 small post 8vo, 2s. 6d. ; cloth, gilt edges, 3^. 6d. 
 
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 Edition, small post 8vo, 2s. 6d. ; cloth, gilt edges, 3-f. 6d. 
 
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 Mackay (C.) Glossary of Obscure Words in Shakespeare. 2is. 
 
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 List of Publications. 21 
 
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 Milford (P.} Ned Stafford's Experiences in the United States. $s. 
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 Dream Life. 
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 22 Sampson Low, Marston, & Co.'s 
 
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 List of Publications. 23 
 
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 24 Sampson Low, Marston, 6 Co.'s 
 
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 List of Publications. 
 
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