&& ssiiv;E >'> v ^,^t.> ^-vy UNIV. OF CALIF. LIBRARY. LOS ANGELES "I want to speak to you, my dear. Will you attend 1 "Page n. Life in a Nutshell a AGNES GIBERNE AUTHOR OF "WON AT LAST," ETC. BOSTON A. J. BRADLEY & CO. PUBLISHERS CONTENTS. CHAP. i. KATIE'S HOME . If. MATCH-BOXES . III. AT "THK WALNUTS" IV. SOMETHING TO DO . V. BESSIE'S ACCOUNTS . VI. AUNT CII.VTTIE . VII. A COMING BIRTHDAY VIII. LATE TALKING . ix. MR. BALFOUR'S GIFT x. FROM KATIE'S FATHER . XI. THE BLUE DRESS XII. NIGHT-WATCHING XIII. THE BIRTHDAY . XIV. AN INVITATION XV. KEPT APART XVI. BY THE FIRESIDE . XVII. SOMETHING GONE WRONG XVIII. A CRASH PACK 7 19 27 38 47 5S 66 77 86 94 1 06 "3 121 I 3 I3S 146 153 161 vi CONTENTS. CHAP. PAGE XIX. AT "THE WALNUTS" AGAIN 172 XX. PASSING AWAY l8l XXI. KATH'S LOSS 189 XXII. A QUESTION 197 XXIII. THE LAST THREE WEEKS 206 XXIV. TOGETHER 214 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. CHAPTER I. KATIE'S HOME, had never been out into the great world, or even into any considerable por- tion of it, beyond a day's trip to Great Yarmouth or to Norwich, at distant intervals. Katie Balfour was still unfledged at the age of eighteen, knowing practically nothing of life, beyond the limits of the remote east-country village which had always been her home except, of course, what books might teach her. One may learn a good deal of life from books ; much that is true, as well as much that is false. But books were not abundant in Eckham. Mudie extended no finger there; while the nearest rail- way station was five miles away. Moreover, the said station was much too small to possess a book- 7 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. stall ; and had things been otherwise, Mr. Balfour was too poor to pay a subscription to any library. The village itself was a mere collection of cot- tages, apparently squatted down, without aim or object, on the flat coast flat, except for the great sand-dunes running all along the shore, between the village and the beach. But those sand-dunes, or long low hills of sand, were not stationary. Slowly, century by century, they had been creep- ing inward, as inch by inch the sea gained upon the land. The Eckhani of olden days had lain where now the waves danced among sea-weeds at the lowest tides. The Eckham of these days would by-and- by lie, in like manner, a ruined village under the sands. People knew this, but they held their know- ledge calmly ; for it was a case of " not in my days." Eckham Church was a grand old building, with windows down one side only, and with the massive square tower characteristic of Norfolk. It would hold more than four hundred people with ease. Not much use in that, since the whole population of Eckham, old people, middle-aged folk, children and babies, all together fell very far short of four hundred. Mr. Balfour counted himself well off with a Sunday morning congregation of twenty or thirty, and a Sunday afternoon congregation of perhaps twice that number. KATIE'S HOME. He had toiled many a long year in this place, labouring patiently, though not 'very hopefully, without making much impression. The people took his efforts as a matter of course, and his kindnesses as their right. Mr. Balfour often called himself an "unprofitable servant," because he saw so little fruit to his labours ; and perhaps he forgot, sometimes, that " the Lord seeth not as man seeth." He was growing old fast, this Eeverend Stephen Balfour not yet sixty-five in years, but in appear- ance much past seventy, with his worn hands, his stoop, his furrowed brow. He looked thin, and his cheeks were sunken, and a certain tremulous- ness of manner was perceptible when he read and preached. It had been more marked lately. The keen winds of Norfolk seemed too much for him, and a winter cough troubled him much. September had come round again, and cold weather lay not far distant, with the terrible easterly blasts of spring to follow. He dreaded them in prospect. Mr. Balfour had only one child, his eighteen-years- old Katie; and one servant, faithful and devoted, though crabbed and disagreeable. Katie's mother had died in her childhood, and since then, Mr. Balfour had been to her, father, mother, friend, all in one, to the best of his ability. Katie loved him most dearly. Still, it was a io LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. strange and lonely life for a young girl. She had no intimate friends. "Society," for her, consisted of the few families of the neighbouring clergy; and, after all, they met but seldom. Mr. Balfour had a rough little two-wheeled " chay," and a very feeble ancient pony, with which he and Katie sometimes drove to a rectory or a parsonage, here or there. But callers were few, and calls due were not many. So Katie grew up with her little round of home- duties, in the way of dusting, cooking, and mending ; her little round of interests, in the way of pet chickens and kittens; her little round of parish occupations, in the way of Sunday-school and village calls; her little round of pleasures, in the way of reading, and of a walk or drive with " father ; " her little round of troubles, in the way of Deborah's temper, and Sunday scholars' dulness. She grew up, year by year ; and for a long while it never dawned on her father that she was a child no longer. Only Katie herself felt a difference. They were out together in the garden one after- noon ; Mr. Balfour on the rustic seat, not reading, but thinking. It was a small garden surrounding a small house; part being laid out for vegetables, and a portion reserved for flowers. A few late roses hung over Katie's smooth brown head, as she sat on KA TIE'S HOME. 1 1 a little wicker chair, quite absorbed in Goldsmith's "History of Greece." She wore a navy-blue summer serge, of the plainest possible make, with linen collar and cuffs. A slight breeze swept by, stirring the small clump of bushes in their rear bushes planted, one and all, by Mr. Balfour's own hand, during past years. He had " made " the garden, such as it was. With the breezy breath he shivered sharply. Katie at once looked up, and said, " Are you cold, father ? " " Yes. I almost think I will go in," Mr. Balfour answered ; yet he did not move. He seemed to be thinking. Katie's eyes went back to her page. " Goldsmith is so interesting," she remarked. "He was thought more of at one time than he is now. Katie " " Yes, father." " I want to speak to you, my dear. Will you attend ? " Katie shut the book at once. "But won't you come indoors, father, if you are cold." " It was momentary. I think the breeze has died down." "Has anybody done anything wrong?" asked Katie. " Father, I think you look worried." " I dread changes, my Katie. Things have gone 12 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. on quietly so long so many years. Yet, if it has to be " " Changes ? " said Katie. " How would you like to pay a long visit to your uncle Thornton and his family ? " " You and I together ? " "You alone." "Oh, I couldn't, of course," Katie answered at once, and very decidedly. "It isn't as if there were any one else. I couldn't leave you alone, father, with only Deb. She has been so cross lately." "Poor Deb! She and I are growing old to- gether ! " Katie looked beseeching. She had an expressive face, oval in shape, and healthy in colouring, not remarkable for beauty of feature, with the excep- tion, perhaps, of a pretty little mouth and chin ; but answering to every shade of thought and feel- ing below. " Please don't talk about being old," she said. " Sixty-five is only quite middle-aged for a man, father." "Ah, my dear!" Mr. Balfour half-smiled, half- sighed. " Age is not only a question of years." "But you haven't had such very hard work either, have you? not like a London clergyman. Of course I should like very much to see London," KATIE'S HOME. 13 Katie went on sedately. " Still, I could not leave you. And there would be no one to take the Sunday-school." This was literally true. Katie " took " the Sun- day-school herself, with only the help of a farmer's young daughter. Mr. Balfour shivered again. "I think I will go iu," he said. " It is certainly turning cold." He stood up and slowly crossed the lawn, Katie walking by his side. The drawing-room which they entered was dimi- nutive, and furnished in old-fashioned style, with a round table in the centre, and heavy chintz-clothed chairs standing stiffly against the walls. The chintz was old-fashioned too, having a pattern of big red flowers and leaves upon a white ground. A little old cottage piano occupied one corner, and a straight- backed sofa stood opposite. " I think you will like a fire this evening, father," said Katie, as he sat down. "Yes, perhaps so. Don't go, my dear; I have something to say still." Katie took a seat, feeling somewhat anxious. His manner was unusual. " What is it ? " she asked, looking up in his face. "Father, I am quite sure something is troubling you, and you have not told me. Won't you tell me I 4 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. now ? I think I ought to know. You and I are friends not only father and child and we always tell each other everything. I shouldn't like to think there were secrets between us. It isn't as if there were anybody else in the world, except, of course, dear old Deb and the villagers. But that is quite different. Please tell me. I am not a child now, you know." And as Katie pleaded thus, the old clergyman turned his head aside, and burst into tears. Katie had never in her life seen him do this before. " Father ! " she said, in an awe-struck tone. She drew closer to his side, and laid her head on his shoulder. " Father, dear, please don't ; I won't tease you any more." Mr. Balfour's arm came round her, and he was already recovering himself. " Will you be a dear brave child, and help me ? " he asked. " It will be a trial, I know ; but will you be brave ? " " Yes," she answered steadily. " I know you will try. I have not been very not very well or strong for a year or two past. It did not seem worth while to say much ; but last winter was trying, and this summer has not done so much for me as perhaps I hoped. Last week, when I drove alone to the station, I did not tell you my reason for not taking you ; but I went by train KATIE'S HOME. 15 to see Dr. Bandall. That is why I was so long gone. He is skilful, and he understands me." " Yes, father." "He says I must not spend another winter in Norfolk." Katie was silent for a few seconds. Then she asked, in the same firm voice, "Does he think it too cold ? " " Too cold for me in my present state. There is active mischief in the lungs. He does not think we have any cause for present alarm. People in this condition often last for years ; but I must be very careful, and he insists, above all, on a winter abroad." "Where?" " He would prefer Cannes." Katie lifted a perplexed face. " But the money ? " she said ; " and the work here ? I don't quite " Those were my difficulties. I would not speak to you till I could see my way." " And do you now ? " " Yes ; I wrote in one or two directions. Of course the expense would be great. We have some- thing laid by ; but it grieves me to think of using that. I meant it for you, by-and-by. Still if it has to be ! Dr. Eandall spoke very strongly of the need. 1 6 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Katie grew pale. "And that money will be enough to take us ? " " I find I can obtain help from a society as to my locum tenens. That clears away one obstacle. Dr. Eandall suggested it, and kindly took steps in the matter, bringing me a quick answer by private interest, as to what I might hope for. With that help, I think my stipend and what is laid by will make the winter in Cannes a possibility for me." Katie did not notice the slight stress on the last word. "And that will make you quite strong again, father ? " " I hope it may, dear," he answered. " But, Katie about yourself " " I must go too, of course, to take care of you." " Impossible, my dear child. The cost " . She gave one start. " That was my second great difficulty. I wrote at once to your uncle Thornton, and he has answered most kindly, offering you a home for at least the greater part of my absence. If it should not be quite convenient to him and his wife to have you all the while, Mrs. Carrington will take you in. You remember her name ? " " Aunt Euth's sister," murmured Kate. " Yes ; they live near together at Penshurst. Dear Katie, I can't tell you what the thought of the part- KATIE'S HOME. 17 ing is to me. But it does seem arranged for us. It seems as if I should be wrong not to go, after all Dr. Eandall said; and six months will very soon pass. You will be a brave child, and, after all, you will enjoy being with your cousins, having young com- panions, and seeing a little of life. It will be good for you, my child." " Yes, father." Katie spoke calmly ; and he could not see her pale dazed look. " So we will make the best of it, won'c we ? Dr. Eandall said I must avoid agitation ; and I do feel that I am not equal to it. We will both be brave, darling. It is God's will for us, and it must be right. Think how much we shall have to say when we meet again. Besides, we shall write very often ; and I have not to go for another month or six weeks. Plenty of time to get used to the thought." Katie had had as mucli as she could endure. " Yes, father," she said, " there will be a great deal to do. And now I'm going to to see about your tea," But seeing about the tea did not come first. Katie slipped out of the room, and fled upstairs to her own. There she stood, looking out on one corner of the sleepy little village, and on the great square tower of the old church. A cornfield lay beyond, and to the right, as she stood, she could see the top of the 1 8 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. nearest sand-dunes, on the other side of which rolled the waters of the German Ocean. Katie gazed and gazed, till her eyes were blinded with tears, and she clasped her hands and held them out, with one smothered cry, "0 father, father, father ! I don't know how to live without you ! " CHAPTER IT. MA TCH-BO XES. ' to France, indeed ! I know what that means. It's the way of 'em. Send him x off when there's nothing more to be done, to die alone in a furrin' country, and ne'er a friend to speak a word o' comfort. That's what it'll be. There's no sort of folly in life folks ain't capable of more especial when it's a-flying in the face of Providence. If master goes to them furriii' parts, he'll never come back no more." Katie had gone into the kitchen next morning to " order dinner," which meant to hear Deb's intentions about dinner. Deb, having held the little Katie in her arms, washed, nursed, petted, and scolded her at will, had no notion now of taking orders from her. Katie knew better than to give orders. She only stood in the daintily clean kitchen, and asked meekly, " What shall we have to-day, Deb ? " And Deb concisely said what she meant to do. After all, 20 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. nobody knew better than Deb what was needed, and what could be afforded ; only sometimes Deb's temper gained the upper hand of her wish to please. That very simple matter, "to-day's dinner," being settled, Katie falteringly told Deb what she had heard the afternoon before. Deb, not gratified that " the child " should have been informed on so weighty a matter before herself, and feeling the important question of her own future put into the background though she would have been the first to put it there, had somebody else brought it forward answered a"s above. Poor Katie listened with a heavy heart. She knew what Deb's predictions were worth, and could quite allow for Deb's irritability; yet the words were such as she could hardly bear to hear. A mist came over her eyes, and a choking into her throat, as she leant against the dresser. " Oh, Deb, don't," she said once or twice ; and at the end, " But Dr. Eandall thinks it will do father good, and \ve must try it ; you know we must." Yes, Deb knew that, and she knew she had said cruel words to the young girl in her foolish vexation. But Deb never seemed to think it necessary to con- quer this troublesome temper. It was " only her way," she said; and she held the absurd theorv held MATCH-BOXES. 21 self-comfortingly by many irritable people, that a sharp temper is the token of a fine character. Katie could not trust herself to discuss the matter with Deb. She went away to her own room, and did not venture downstairs again for some time. Mr. Balfour seemed to be waiting about for her when she appeared. "Come, Katie," he said, with a glance at the reddened eyelids, " I think we will have a little stroll on the shore. I feel unsettled, and I shall write my' sermon the better afterwards. They say there has been a wreck near some small merchant- man, I fancy." "The wind was so high last night," Katie said, thinking how she had lain awake, listening to it, for once hardly remembering the perils of those at sea in her own new sorrow. A straw hat hung within easy reach, and no other " dressing " was needful. They were soon passing down the one tiny irregular street leading shore- wards hardly a street so much as a loose group of cottages. The ground really did slope a little here, so that it might fairly be termed "going down." But the country around was flat as a pan- cake. An opening in the sand-dunes admitted them to the level sandy beach. The wind blew rather 22 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. strongly still, and the waves were tumbling busily about at half-low tide. Two or three fishing-boats stood above high-tide mark, and two or three fisher- men lounged listlessly near. Mr. Balfour gave the men a kind word in passing, and received a curt acknowledgment of the same. These folks of Eck- ham were not genial-mannered. Mr. Balfour sighed as he passed on. " Will any of them care, Katie ? " " Oh, father after all these years ! They must be sorry when they know." "I cannot tell. I seem to have made no mark here. Years of work, and no result. Last night those words so haunted me, 'I have laboured in vain, and spent my strength for nought.' " A glow came to Katie's cheeks. " You know what comes next," she said, "don't you, father?" Mr. Balfour hesitated. "No, I could not recall. My memory often fails me now." "'Yet surely my judgment is with the Lord, and my work with my God.' " Katie's clear tones had a ring of heart-cheer in them. "Yes, yes true I forgot. One cannot decide as to one's self, or others. But He understands perfectly. Thank you, Katie ; that ought to comfort your old father. I have tried to carry out His will, and I will leave results with Him. See, there has MATCH-BOXES. 23 been a wreck. How singular ! I never saw quite such a sight before." On the beach, far as the eye could reach, there lay along high-water mark a wavy line of match- boxes. Small boxes all of them, uniform in shape and pattern, not so large as the " Bryant and May's," strewn in countless thousands; here whole still by scores, there by scores torn open, the discoloured matches in multitudes keeping up the line. Mingled with the match-box cargo were seaweeds little red weeds, and long ribbon weeds and now and then, at intervals, might be found a plank or a broken spar. Side by side, slowly, Mr. Balfour and Katie fol- lowed the slender line of wreckage, left by the waves in their retreat. For ten minutes or more the two walked on, facing the gusty breeze, and presently a small mast was visible, tossed up on the sands. And still, far ahead, extended that thin waved line of broken and unbroken match-boxes. "From Sweden, I suppose; this is Swedish," Mr. Balfour said, standing still to examine a box which Katie had picked up. He spoke rather breathlessly. "Father, I wonder if any of the sailors were lost ? " " I wonder whether any of them were saved, my dear ? After all, there are worse troubles in the world than ours ! " 24 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Katie thought of Deb's words. " If only we were a little richer," she said, sighing. " Yes ; then you could couie with me. But suppose you are wanted at Penshurst? Sup- pose there is some little work for you to do there ? It may be so. I think we will go home now, dear." " Kath is my own age, isn't she ? " said Katie, after a pause. " To the day. That was partly why you both received the same name." " I can just remember seeing them all ; but it was so long ago. Grace was the nicest, I think ; only, being four years older made her seem almost grown- up. Bessie and Winnie teased me, but Kath and I were friends, rather. I wonder if I shall be afraid of them all now ?" "You will soon get over the feeling of strange- ness. Of course there may be little rubs and trials," Mr. Balfour said thoughtfully. " Set one thing before you, Katie, never to forget Whose servant you are, and never to be ashnmed of that service. Others may do or say tilings you believe to be wrong, and you have not to judge them ; but never be drawn yourself into going against your own conscience." " No, father." MATCH-BOXES. 25 " I think you will like to see Mrs. Carrington's letter to me. Here it is." He did not offer to show his own brother's letter, and Katie was conscious of the omission, as she read : " THE NUTSHELL, PENSHURST, Tuesday. " DEAK STEPHEN, It is long since I heard from or of you, .but I have not forgotten my old friend of childish days. Thornton has told me of your trouble, and I sincerely feel for you. " I dare say you are aware that I lost my dear husband two years ago, and that I have since then settled down within reach of my sister and her husband. They tell me your daughter will spend the time of your absence with them. Quite right that she should. " I have, however, one microscopic spare room, and if at any time it should prove not quite con- venient to my sister to have your Katherine, or if she would like it herself, for any other reason, she shall come to me. Only she would have to put up with Life in a Nutshell. The name of this ' bit hoose ' is my own fancy. It seemed appropriate, my brother having chosen to call his < The Walnuts.' " At all events, if Katherine comes, I will pro- 26 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. mise her a kind welcome, for the sake of my old friend, her dear father. So believe me still, yours sincerely, C. CARKINGTON." " Father, she must be nice." " She was ; but I have not seen Charlotte Carring- ton for years ' Chattie ' every one called her." " And she lives alone, I suppose, at that house what an odd name ! ' The Nutshell.' " " She has one son," said Mr. Balfour. CHAPTER III. AT "THE WALNUTS." [ESSIE ! How you do plague ! " "But, Winnie, you have no business to draw on this table." " I've as much business as you, so there !" " I always keep my Shoe Club and Library ac- counts here. You must move." "You can take your accounts somewhere else. There's not light enough anywhere else for drawing. Now then ! Saint Elizabeth in a passion ! " Winifred leant back in her chair with an exas- perating laugh. She was about seventeen years old, plain-featured and angular, and in a manner sturdily wilful. By her side stood another girl, three or four years her senior ; tall and rather thin, with a long nose and a low forehead not classically low, but low merely because it was not high and a generally uncomfortable expression ; disturbed, restless, almost 28 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. unhappy. Vexation was plainly written at this moment on lips and brow. "I can't possibly move them all. Everything is together in these drawers. And it is nonsense about the light. You could see better in the bow window. I must get things done this afternoon." " Very well. Get them done." Winnie bent over her drawing, and Elizabeth's hand came on the sheet, moving it slightly. Winnie flashed up with a look of fury. " Bessie ! You dare ! If you do, I'll tell father." " Tell him anything you like. This is my place, Winnie." " How you two do go on ! " a distressed voice said from the bow window of which Elizabeth had spoken. Grace Balfour, eldest of four sisters, lay there on a couch, her thin cheeks and white hands telling of illness. She had large blue eyes, bright still, and must have been very pretty in health, though almost too wasted now for beauty. " It is like two chil- dren. Winnie, do come away, and let Bessie have the table. You know she always does sit there, and it is tiresome having to move everything." " I don't see why it is more tiresome for her than for me," said Winnie, in a sulky voice. " But the light here is quite as good; and I like to have you near me." AT "THE WALNUTS." 29 " I don't believe you do." Nevertheless, Winifred actually rose, gathered together her drawing mate- rials, and marched into the bow window, her vacated seat being occupied at once by Elizabeth, in severe silence. " She might have said ' Thank you,' " mut- tered Winnie, in a disgusted tone ; " but that isn't a part of religion, I suppose." " Hush, Winnie ! you must not say such things." Grace turned her face away, sighing. Winnie sat looking at her. ' Are you in bad pain this afternoon, Gracie ? " " Yes." The voice told of threatening tears. " Can't anything be got ? Where's Katli ? " "Father wanted her. She will be in soon. I must just bear it." " Where's the pain ? Your chest ? " " Yes." Winnie did not seem to know what else to do or say. Elizabeth uttered not a word. She was stoop- ing over her account-books, with rounded shoulders, and a look of gloom still upon her face. Then the door opened, and another sister came in a girl of about eighteen, with a slight figure and a face not exactly beautiful, but sweet and bright and intensely lovable. People often called Kath Balfour "lovely," and she really was that. The features were soft in outline, good enough to be set off by a fair clear 3 o LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. complexion ; the light brown hair clustered in curly rings round a straight white brow ; and the grey eyes, if neither dark nor large, were full of light and tenderness. So no wonder Kath won admiration. She cast one look at Elizabeth, and the corners of her mouth gave an involuntary twitch, as if of amuse- ment ; then one look at Grace, and the same rosy lips grew pitiful and sad. Kath came straight to the sofa, bent over it, kissed Grace, and altered the arrangement of the pillows. "Is that better?" she asked. " Yes. You always know how, Kath." " Of course I do. And you have chest-ache and back-ache, and you would like the comfort of a good cry, wouldn't you ? " said Kath lovingly. A sob came in answer. Kath laid her soft cheek beside Grace's, and comforted her with touch and whisper till something of a smile became possible. "Where's mother?" she asked then. "Gone a round of calls," said Winnie. "She wanted Bessie with her, and Bessie would not go." " I could not," Elizabeth's voice said, with a kind of injured protest. " And who is going to meet Katie ? " General silence. " You know what father said at breakfast about his engagement, and depending on us. I would AT "THE WALNUTS." 31 go, only I should like to stay in and see after Gracie." Grace looked very wistful. " Bessie, can't you ? " " I can't possibly. I have all these accounts to make up to-day. Why can't Kath or Winnie go ? Or why must anybody ? " " Nice sort of welcome," said Winnie. " After what father said, too." She looked at Grace's long- ing eyes, and at Kath's figure leaning over the sofa, then rather indignantly at Bessie. " Not much use in being a saint, if it means never doing anything that anybody wants," she muttered, start- ing up. " I shall get into disgrace to-morrow if this isn't done. But it doesn't matter. Yes, I'll go. What o'clock. Five ! Why, I shall only be just in time. I hope Saint Elizabeth's accounts will come square. It's more than they deserve to do." Elizabeth heard in silence, with a species of martyr-look. She counted herself something of a martyr, ascribing all this to her more distinctly reli- gious profession, and not at all to her less obliging ways than those of her sisters. Winnie meantime rushed away, childlike in movement still, and angry at feeling herself compelled to volunteer. As she had said, there was no time to be lost. Mr. Thornton Balfour's house, " The Walnuts," stood near the higher end of a long valley, half-way up 32 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. one of its sides. This valley had been once, many years earlier, a private park belonging to a single large mansion ; but it was now pretty well lined on both sides with red houses in neat gardens. The station lay at the farther and lower end, some fifteen minutes' quick walk distant. Winnie threw on hat and jacket, and started off at a rapid pace down the dusty road. One or two friends, encountered by the way, received a nod of recognition. Not far from the station a neat little pony carriage, drawn by one brown pony, and con- taining a rather stout and rather handsome lady of middle age, drew up suddenly. " Where are you going, Winnie ? " " To meet Katie, mother." " I should not have thought that necessary." " Father said somebody must, and Bessie wouldn't." The lady's fine dark eyes showed displeasure. " Bessie is becoming perfectly useless since she took up all this parish work. Is your drawing done?" " Couldn't," said Winnie concisely. " I have a great mind to take you straight home. It is absurd," Mrs. Balfour said, frowning. " Why cannot Kate manage for herself ? " " Father said somebody must go." " Then don't be long. I particularly wish you to AT "THE WALNUTS." 33 get that drawing finished. Kate will probably have a fly for her luggage, and of course you will return with her." " Father said at breakfast, that if the pony car- riage couldn't go, we were to have a fly, and pay for it." "Very absurd and unnecessary," said Mrs. Bal- four. After which she drove on, and Winnie per- formed the rest of her way at a semi-gallop, rushing upon the platform in a breathless and dishevelled condition, as the train steamed slowly up. A minute of confusion, and Winnie found herself near a young girl, lady-like, but plainly dressed, and with a certain unsophisticated air, which the town-bred maiden recognised at once. She seemed bewildered, and was looking from side to side for- lornly. " Are you Katie ? " a voice asked. " I'm Katie Balfour. And you ? " " I'm Winnie. How do you do ? The others were too busy to come, at least Kath was, and Bessie made believe to be, and Gracie, of course, is ill. So there was only me. Where is your luggage ? How many trunks ? Only one ! Well, we must have a fly. It is a good distance, and uphill, too." After some waiting, the box appeared, hauled out from among a medley of trunks and bags. 34 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Penshurst Station was not peculiarly noisy or bust- ling for a station in the near neighbourhood of London, but to Katie all seemed a whirl of con- fusion. Winifred managed for her in business-like style: hailed a cab; desired a porter to bring out the box ; paid him twopence ; and ordered the cab- man to drive to "Mr. Balfour's the Walnuts;" after which they set off. " Father thought you were living in the country," remarked Katie; "but I suppose we go through a part of London first." Winnie's eyes opened widely. " You've just been through London on your way here," she said. " We're a good twenty minutes outside London. This is country." " But there are so many houses," objected Katie. " It is all houses." "They've been building a good deal. Why, this is nothing," said Winnie, in danger of an explosion of laughter. " Nothing," she repeated emphatically. " You should have seen our Westbourne house, be- fore we came to Penshurst. That was town, and no mistake. We call this country. Of course there are plenty of houses and people, and things doing. And London is near. It's not being buried alive. I should think you were pretty well buried in Norfolk." AT "THE WALNUTS." 35 If so, Katie did not as yet find disentombment a lively process. Her heart went back with aching desire to the dear old Eectory and its " buried " surroundings. " Mother would rather be in London, but father likes this best. Mother thinks it too dull and quiet. We came to Penslmrst three years ago nearly four ; and the place has grown ever so much lately ; all that row of houses up there, in front of us, is quite new. Oh, and look this side, Aunt Chattie's? " " Mrs. Carrington ? " " Yes ; her house. She's a dear thing, only rather odd in some ways. We don't like her being in that queer little house much," said Winnie. "Didn't you see ? It's called ' The Nutshell ' ; and it is the most ridiculous little concern ; only one storey high ; and only four or five tiny rooms. One sittiug-room, and the kitchen, and three bed-rooms, and a box- closet, hardly big enough to be called a room. It was a fancy of hers to go there, when uncle died, and she came home from India. She wanted to be near us, and she said she couldn't afford anything bigger. More like a cottage than a house. Father says it must have been the lodge to the estate, when all this valley was a great park belonging to one person. He wonders that 'The Nutshell' was never pulled down. Auut Chattie lives there now, how- 36 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. ever; and Harold never will say he minds it. I think he ought. Of course he isn't often at home, but when he is, he must hate such a poky place. We all wish she would make a change. It is nice to have Aunt Chattie near us ; but still we don't like her being there. Our friends must think it so odd." " I don't see why, if the house is large enough," said Katie. " Oh, I suppose it is large enough, in a way, just for her and one maid. But it is hardly like a lady's house. It is more like a cottage. She might afford something better, if she chose. Mother says so. She says it is just a fad of Aunt Chattie's always to be talking about ' life in a nutshell ' too ! I almost wish father hadn't named our house ' The Walnuts.' Mother wanted it called 'The Elms'; and father said that was so dreadfully suburban. We have two walnut-trees in our garden, so he thought that would be more uncommon. I wish he hadn't." Kate could only ask, " Why ? " "Oh, I don't know. Can't you see? Walnuts and Nuts seem to belong together, and we don't like to belong to that queer little low-roofed concern. I can't explain, if you don't understand. You'll know better when you see Aunt Chattie. She's not a bit AT "THE WALNUTS." 37 like mother, and very religious. So is Bessie, only in a different sort of way. You've got to learn to know us all. What a good thing you were always called 'Katie/ and our Katharine is always called ' Kath.' Ic saves a muddle." CHAPTEE IV. SOMETHING TO DO. ??5EjSj^jHE first evening of Katie's stay at " The 2*k|s Walnuts" was over; and she found her- ^V^K_A. ge j a j. } ag j. a ] one j n th e sma ]| bedroom assigned to her use. It was a very small bedroom, and a shabby one too; for though there were two good spare rooms on the floor below, Mrs. Balfour had decided that this little ill-furnished apartment was " quite good enough for only Kate Balfour." And it was " at last," for Katie had never in her life gone through so lengthy and dull an evening. . Measuring the six mouths ahead by the slow hours just passed, they seemed a life-time, absolutely interminable. We are so apt to forget that the longest part of any given time lies almost always at the beginning. It was not that everybody had not shown kind- ness, more or less. Mr. Balfour had bestowed quite a cordial greeting on his only brother's only child, 38 SOMETHING TO DO. 39 saying repeatedly how very glad he was to see her. Katie appreciated his warmth ; yet somehow " Uncle Thornton " turned out to be not at all what she had expected. He was such a little bustling, excitable man; and everybody seemed so very much afraid of offending him. No lack of kindness lay in that direction ; but it was rather an odd sort of kindness, involving much talk about himself. He evidently liked a good show of gratitude, and expected every- thing to be done in exactly his own way. Katie felt oppressed by his very cordiality. Mrs. Balfour was neither small nor cordial. Eather tall, decidedly stout, and markedly hand- some, so far as features alone were concerned, she seemed to give way to her husband in everything, yet held the household reins firmly in her large plump white hands. Katie had not been five minutes in Mrs. Balfour's presence, before she knew herself to be an undesired addition to the household. It was a terribly painful feeling, but there was no putting it aside ; and with the sense of unwelcome came also a sense of something like fear towards Mrs. Balfour. Katie knew that she would dread greatly having to oppose her aunt's will The evening had passed, as I have already said, very tardily, very drearily. Kath's sunshiny face won Katie's heart more than any other in the 40 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. household; but Grace was upstairs, more ill than usual, and Kath could not leave her. Bessie spent the evening over her Library and Shoe Club ac- counts, frowning grimly in the endeavour to make them come right. Winnie was trying somewhat fractiously to draw by gaslight. Mr. Balfour, after a few remarks, went sound asleep, a little figure in a very big arm-chair. Mrs. Balfour sat opposite, reading a yellow-backed novel, and being by way of contrast a voluminous figure in a very small easy chair. Katie longed to retire, but was too shy to ask leave, and the family did not break up until half-past ten. "I dare say everything is right in your room, Kate," Mrs. Balfour said then, standing up, with a yawn. " If not, you must tell the girls, or ring." She gave her hand, evidently not counting a kiss necessary. " Good-night. Winnie, you are to go to bed directly. It is an hour past your time ; and drawing by gas-light is no use. You ought not to have been out this afternoon. Bessie, I can't have you sit up late. Oh dear, how tired I am ! " So was Katie, but no one seemed to remark it. She took the candle pointed out as her own, and went wearily upstairs to her little bedroom. Her box, half unpacked, lay open ; her things were scattered about, as she had left them, when some- SOMETHING TO DO. 41 what hurriedly dressing for late dinner. A jug of almost cold water stood in the basin : and the Vene- tian blind had not been lowered. Servants are quick to see when a guest is not honoured, and too often drawing-room neglect finds a downstairs echo. Katie was not fussy or over-sensitive, but the general feeling of being imwelcomed weighed upon her heavily ; and she was very tired, almost too much so to make up her mind to unpack or undress. The parting with her father, kept resolutely all day in the background, now rushed in upon her with a great flood-tide of sorrow. It was the first even- ing for many long years that she had not had his good-night kiss. The pain grew and grew, as Katie stood at the unbliuded window, looking out. She could see the lights glittering in many houses, late though it was, all the way down the length of the Penshurst valley ; and coloured station lights, in the distance, at the lower end of the valley ; and heaven's lamps twinkling softly overhead. These last her father might be watching also ; but not the others. He and she had a different outlook now, so far as earthly things were concerned. And every day would make the parting worse, as he travelled south, widening the distance which divided the two. 42 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. And if he should never return, if Deb's foretellings should come true ! Katie could not face that thought. She dashed aside some heavy drops, and began taking off her dress. But grief was not to be so easily kept down. Having put a few things straight, and hung up her dress, and let her brown hair flow over her white dressing-gown, she took out her little Bible, and sat down to read. There com- posure failed. It was the one touch of association too keen. Katie's dim eyes could make out no word of the print. She closed the Book, and knelt down to pray ; but, instead of prayer, there came a burst of weeping, a bitter anguish of sobs. The lone- liness was overpowering. No one to help ; no one to care; no one to comfort! "Father! father!" broke from her repeatedly. Katie almost felt that she could not bear it, could not stand the part- ing, could not endure the present isolation. Would nobody ever love her here ? Must she stand alone, uncared-for; an intruder, tolerated from necessity, but only looked upon as a burden and a trouble. " Poor dear ! " a soft voice said. Katie had not seen Kath enter; had not heard repeated knockings at her door. She only felt now SOMETHING TO DO. 43 a pair of warm hands clasping her cold ones, and kind lips kissing her flushed cheek. " You poor Katie ! " the voice repeated. " Gracie was quite unhappy. She and I sleep just under- neath, you know. Katie, don't cry. It will be all right by-and-by. And you will soon know us. Don't cry, dear. Yes, I know. It's dreadfully hard to say good-bye to your father ; of course it is. But he'll come back in the spring, looking so well, you'll be quite glad he went ; and how nice that will be ! Don't cry, Katie." The very sweetness of that reiterated " Don't cry!" made Katie's tears at first come faster; but before long she managed to whisper, " Dear Kath ! so kind of you ! I didn't mean to disturb Gracie !" " Oh, you didn't disturb her. She can't sleep with pain, poor dear. Now, you are going to leave off crying, and be good. It's no use being unhappy is it ? You'll have to put up with us all for a little while, you know ; and perhaps you won't find us so very disagreeable, after all, when you are used to our ways." This was a new view of the matter. Katie checked her tears, and said energetically " Oh no, it isn't that." " I was afraid they hadn't properly looked after you. Bessie is always so busy with her own concerns ; and 44 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Winnie has to prepare for classes still. Bessie's business is parish business; and sometimes, I sup- pose, it can't be well put aside. And poor Gracie being like this keeps me rather busy, because I am her nurse. She and I always paired off together, which is odd, for Bessie comes next to her in age." "Has Gracie been long ill?" asked Katie. "I don't remember hearing about it." " Father is such a bad correspondent. Yes, a good while. She had an attack on the lungs a year ago, and it seemed to leave her so delicate all last winter. When summer came on, she really did get better for a time ; but she caught a very bad cold before the end of August, and ever since " Kath paused, sighing. " I hope her cough will not disturb you, Katie. It is often bad at night." " But doesn't it disturb you, sleeping in the same room ? " " Oh, that is nothing. I am Grade's nurse. It is my business to be disturbed. She has been particularly poorly the last week or two. Some- times she is not nearly so bad, but the weather is chilly now." " Wouldn't going to a warm place be good for her like father ? " asked Katie. SOMETHING TO DO. 45 " No. They did talk of such a thing last year, for this winter ; but not now. They say it would be of no use ; and she isn't fit for travelling. She must just stay indoors at home, and be taken care of." Kath spoke quietly, but Katie could see tears shining on her eyelashes. " You must be anxious about her." " Yes," Kath answered briefly. " One must, of course. But don't say a word of that to Gracie, please. We have to keep her spirits up. Now, don't you think it is time for you to go to bed ? And you must not be miserable any more : for we really want to make you happy, Katie." ' : I ought not to be unhappy," Katie said in a low tone. " I have the best comfort of all." " Oh, I don't know about ' ought.' It is quite natural. But you'll try and be brave." Katie was too shy to explain her thought in words. Her hand stole involuntarily to the little Bible, still lying open on the table, and her eyes met Kath's. "Ah! did you mean that?" Kath asked, half- lightly, yet with kindness. "Well, dear, we all have our Bibles, of course. And I suppose they ought to be a comfort, if one is in trouble. It is right that they should. Only don't stay up late 46 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. to-night, reading, because really bed is the best place for you. Good-night, Katie. " Mind you sleep well, and don't cry any more." Kath went off, after a parting kiss, and Katie sat thinking, much cheered, yet a little troubled. Was that "best comfort" unknown to the lovable Kath ? Sad if it were so ! Yet Kath had comforted Katie : had helped her up to a cheerier, braver level. Katie no longer felt utterly cast down. She was able now to kneel quietly in prayer, and to read a few verses with thoughtful attention. Grace's cough could not induce wakefulness that night. Katie's head scarcely reached the pillow before she fell into dreamless sleep, which lasted until after morning dawn. CHAPTER V. BESSIE'S ACCOUNTS. )INE o'clock having been the hour named for breakfast, Katie was punctually down- stairs at the sounding of the bell. No- body else had yet appeared. It was a fine cool autumn morning, and the window at one end of the dining-room stood open. Kate leant out, trying not to hear a little voice of longing for the pure ocean breezes, to which she had been all her life accustomed. Penshurst air was counted remarkably fine by Londoners; but it could not bear comparison with Norfolk air. Houses lay below on the hill-side, and houses all down the length of the valley, each standing in its own neat garden. Houses clustered more thickly at the lower end, near the station, where the Pens- hurst Valley ran at right angles into the longer Hurst Valley. Beyond the station, and on the other side of the said Hurst Valley rose steep downs, 47 -n 48 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. dotted with low bushes, forming a lengthy hill, some two hundred feet in height above the station level. The hills bounding the Penshurst Valley rose also to much the same height. Katie's eyes, used to the flat lands of Norfolk, found the effect to be almost mountainous. The view from this dining-room window really was very pretty, though a little spoilt by much recent building. Ten minutes passed, and Katie was still alone. Ten minutes more, and she began to feel very hungry. A step at length sounded, and Mr. Thorn- ton Balfour came in. " Katie ! what has become of Kath ? Are you the first down ? Good-morning, my dear. Slept well ? " He did not wait for an answer. "Trained in punctual habits, I see. The ladies of my household are uncommonly lazy. Not Bessie, I believe, but she is probably out on some wildgoose chase, or muddling her head with Parish accounts. Kath generally is in good time. Do you prefer coffee or tea ? I'll ring for it at once. We don't have prayers till after breakfast. Sit down, and make yourself at home. The time those servants are answering a bell! one would think they had to walk a mile ! Coffee at once, Ann, and ham and eggs, or whatever is cooking." BESSIE'S ACCOUNTS 49 Mr. Balfour betook himself to arm-chair and news- paper, almost vanishing behind the latter. Katie obe- diently seated herself, and waited in hungry patience. Breakfast at home had been a full hour earlier. Presently there was a crunching of gravel out- side, as by a man's boots. Somebody threw wide the partly-opened window. " Uncle ! " " Hey ! what ? Harold ! " Mr. Balfour dropped his newspaper, and went quickly towards a face which was inserting itself between two plants. The lower sill of this -window stood nearly five feet above the gravel path, and was well-lined outside with flowers in pots. The face was a pleasant one, not unlike Kath's in outline, spare and healthily-pale, with laughing eyes, and a soft clerical wide-awake shading the brow. " Good-morning, Uncle. How is Gracie ? " "I have not heard yet. Good-morning. Can't you come in? Your cousin, Katherine Balfour, from Norfolk." Katie drew near, in obedience to his glance, and Harold lifted the wide-awake. " No, not your cousin, by-the-bye no relation really. I forgot." "Next door to cousin," said Harold. "How do 5 o LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. you do, Miss Balfour? Rested after your jour- ney?" " Yes, thank you," said Katie. " Come in," urged his uncle. " Thanks, no ; I can't spare the time. I'm merely come to bring a message from my mother. She is anxious to make Miss Balfour's acquaintance, and would be very pleased to see Miss Balfour to after- noon tea at half-past four. She would pay the duo preliminary call, but for a cold." "Mrs. Carrington, my wife's sister," explained Mr. Balfour. "Your father knew her well long ago." " I should like it very much," said Katie. " Where are you off to, Harold ? " asked Mr. Balfour. "Back to London, by-and-by. I ran down last night ; and we fancied I should catch some of you before breakfast was quite ended ! " with a glance at the table. "It is not quite ended yet," Katie found herself saying. "Have a cup of coffee ? " asked Mr. Balfour. "No, thanks. We breakfasted an hour and a half ago. Good-bye." " That sounds like Aunt Chattie," Kath re- BESSIE'S ACCOUNTS. 51 marked, appearing in time for a glimpse of Harold's retreating back. " Good-morning, Katie. Are you rested this morning ? Did you sleep well, dear ? " Kath looked sleepy herself, and not so bright as the evening before. She heard Katie's answers with a kind but absent smile, and sat down sighing. " Is that Mrs. Carrington's son ? " asked Katie. "That is Harold." And Kath stifled a yawn. " He has a curacy in rather a poor part of London, and works very hard there; but it doesn't seem to hurt him at present. He comes down once a week to see his mother. I am sorry we should all be so late to-day. Gracie has had such a bad night." Mr. Balfour looked at her. " Cough ? " he asked. " Cough, and pain, and breathlessness. I almost had to call some one up." " I have a great mind to get in further advice. Your mother thinks Gracie stronger." " She is not stronger," said Kath. Katie was almost ashamed of her own hearty appetite, Kath took so little. Breakfast was rather a broken meal, one member of the family after another dropping in at intervals. Mr. Balfour read his newspaper diligently, and Mrs. Balfour appeared last. Prayers did not take place till half-past ten, LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. and nobody seemed to suppose that Katie might care to be released sooner. Mr. Balfour hurried off to catch the 11.10 train to London, and Mrs. Balfour went slowly to her housekeeping. Eliza- beth took out Parish accounts once more, Kath returned to Grace, and Winnie ran off to a drawing- class. Katie alone had nothing to do. Nobody seemed to want her. The lack of occupation was a new experience in her life. At home, each day, though not crowded, had always been full. But here Katie found herself at a loss. She went up to her room, and came upon servants there, so she carried a little writing-case into the drawing- room, and began a letter to her father. That would not do, however. Tears threatened soon to become too much for her. Katie shut the writing-case, took up a book, and tried to read, but with poor success. Bessie, busied at her favourite writing-table, with bent brows and rounded shoulders, seemed uncon- scious of Katie's presence. Katie sat watching her for a while, and after a while, nobody else being present, she said softly, " I suppose I couldn't help ? " Bessie turned and looked at her. " Do you care for this sort of thing ? " she asked. BESSIE'S ACCOUNTS. 53 " Parish work, I mean. They all laugh at me for taking to it." " I like everything of the kind." " Not accounts ! " " I kept all my father's accounts. He says I have a good head for figures." Bessie seemed dubious. " If you really mean it " she said at last. " I hate people to offer to help out of mere politeness ; but if you mean it " "I do really." "Well, I should be glad if you could just look through this. I am stupid about figures, and I can't get my Shoe Club accounts to square. And Mr. Hamilton is so very particular." " Is he your clergyman ? " " Yes. He likes everything so very exact, and of course it is right. But this will not come straight. I have been hours over it." " One gets stupefied at last," said Katie. She brought a chair to Elizabeth's side, and sat down, bending her attention at once to the somewhat untidy rows of figures. Two or three slight ques- tions were asked; and then she went through column after column, in the rapid and assured manner of a "ood accountant. 54 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " Yes," she said presently ; " there are two mis- takes in adding up enough to make everything go wrong: and here is another. I think you have read your own figures wrongly." Bessie looked grateful. She did not speak, and Katie went on adding, and making pencil altera- tions, till the sum-total was reached. " There ! " she said, smiling. "Why, it is exactly right! Katie, how clever you are ! " " Oh, just a matter of practice. You must let me help you sometimes. I like being useful." " Should you not mind ? And you don't despise this sort of thing ? But, of course you are a clergyman's daughter." "I don't see why that should make any differ- ence." Bessie looked round, rose, and shut the door, then came back. "It makes all the difference," she said. "You have been brought up not to count religion a mere secondary thing, just to be pushed into the back- ground. That is how we have been brought up. You will soon see ! It is only the last two years that I have felt differently, and they all laugh at me. You will soon see for yourself." BESSIE'S ACCOUNTS. 55 " A little laughing doesn't do one any harm," said Katie, not pleased with Elizabeth's tone. " It makes one angry sometimes." Katie thought silently of the " love " that " is not easily provoked." " Besides, it is wrong. Things are altogether wrong in this house. Nothing but pleasure, and dress, and gaiety, and living for this world. Of course I know that many people have more gaieties than we ; but that isn't from want of will, at least so far as mother and Kath are concerned. I don't join in things myself more than I can possibly help, and that vexes my mother." " It must be difficult to know what to do, some- times." " Oh, I don't know about the difficulty. The only thing to be done is to make a stand, and not to miud what anybody says. I have a great deal to bear sometimes from them all, and so will you have, if your religion is worth anything. Kath seems very charming to strangers, but you have no notion what hard things she can say, and mother expects every one to do exactly what she wishes." "Kath is so kind to me," said Katie; "and Grace " "Poor Grace! It is saddest of all about Grade. 56 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Yes, she is very pleasant, naturally; but it is only natural pleasantness nothing more. And to see her like this, going down and down, and to know that there is no hope of her recovery, and not to be allowed to say one word " " Is she so very ill ? " asked Katie, with a grieved look. " Oh yes ; there is no hope at all. She may live for some months, or even perhaps for a year or two, but she will never be well again. The doctors say so plainly. Father and mother and Kath all know it, though mother pretends to think it is a mistake. But Gracie doesn't know. She always thinks she is getting better, and nobody may contradict her, or say a word to make her think the contrary. It is dreadful to feel that she is to be left to go down into the grave unprepared to the last." " Oh no, surely," protested Katie ; " surely, by-and- by, if she gets worse r-" " But it may not be only a gradual getting worse. She might at any time be taken very ill, and be gone suddenly. She broke a blood-vessel once and if that came again but she doesn't seem to have the very least notion of danger herself. She is always talking of getting well, and of things she means to do by-and-by ; and Kath encourages her BESSIE'S ACCOUNTS. 57 'in it. It is dreadful, Katie. Oiily you mustn't re- peat a word of all this. I ain the oiily one who feels so. Everybody else is bent on keeping up her spirits, and deceiving her into thinking herself better." CHAPTER VI. A UNT CHA TTIE. SELCOME to my nutshell, Katie Balfour!" It certainly was an old little house, one - storeyed and low - roofed, standing near the lower end of the Penshurst Valley. Creepers grew abundantly over the little porch and up the side gable ; Virginian red showing in conspicuous style, where, somewhat earlier, white roses had vied with clematis and passion-flower. Not that these three had quite given over blooming yet. A little garden ran round the small dwelling, and a poplar tree, just as tall as the roof, guarded the door ; another and taller one rearing its head at a distance of three or four yards. ' Mrs. Carrington stood in the doorway, a slim and upright figure, dressed in black, with a semi- widow's cap on her smooth hair. She was un- usually tall; not exactly handsome, but with a 58 AUNT CHATTIE. 59 face so full of life and character, that it could hardly fail to win attention. " Welcome, Katie, my dear. Excuse me, but I can't call Stephen Balfour's daughter by any- thing but her Christian name, so I hope you will not be offended." " No, indeed," Katie said, as Mrs. Carrington led her indoors. " And you have found my little shell without difficulty. Not too spacious, is it ? But I have room enough to eat, sleep, and turn round in. More than Diogenes had in his tub or so one would imagine." Mrs. Carrington seated herself in an easy-chair, and examined Katie all over, with penetrating yet kind eyes. Katie blushed a little under the scrutiny, yet could not feel uncomfortable. She had already a sense of being with a friend. " I don't know exactly who you are like, child. There's a touch of your father, and a touch of your mother, and there are a good many touches of no- body in particular ; yourself individually, I suppose. Good thing to have individuality in look as well as in character. I never can see why human beings are to be transformed into a row of pegs, all alike in shape and pattern. And you are not yet a fashion- able young woman of the day. That's easily seen ! " 60 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " I hope not," said Katie, smiling. "No, that's easily seen," repeated Mrs. Car- rington, folding her hands, and continuing her survey. " Take off your bonnet, Katie. It's a nice little bonnet. Your father always had a neat taste, and I suppose he has trained you. Yes ; I see a likeness now. Well, how did you leave your father, my dear ? " Katie tried to answer, and faltered. " It's not easy saying good-bye for the first time, is it ? And at your age, six months seem an age. But don't be afraid; the time will soon go. It is anxious work for you, of course, having him so far away. And we are apt to think nobody can take care of our dear ones, as we could do ourselves. As if the Everlasting Arms were not powerful enough ; and as if HE couldn't provide human friends and caretakers ! But you are like the rest of us, child, I don't doubt always fearing where there is no cause for fear. How did you manage to find your way here this afternoon ? Anybody come with you ? " "No," said Katie, helped to composure by Mrs. Carrington's words and manner. " Winnie showed me the house yesterday, and the way is very simple. Kath meant to walk with me, but she did not like to leave Grace." AUNT CHATTIE. 61 " Poor Grace ! " Katie looked gravely up, and said, " Mrs. Car- rington, do you think " "Why not call me 'Aunt Chattie,' child? I have always counted myself your father's sister." " May I ? Yes, I should like that." " Well, you were going to ask " " Is Gracie ill at all like my father ? " " Like, and not like ! Lungs in both cases. But your father's seems to be a case rather of delicacy than of actual disease. He will, I hope, come back well." " And Gracie ? " Mrs. Carrington made a negative gesture. " Katie," she said slowly. " I don't know much of you yet. It seems to me, however, at least lilccly, that a child of Stephen Balfour's will have been trained to serve the Master whom he serves. Something he said, too and something in your own look " " I do try," was the simple answer. " That might mean much or little. From you I think it means much. Well, we have not to judge other people. Many a one may be at heart a truer servant to God than appears on the surface. But my heart is sore often for that poor fading flower, dying day by day, and taught to think 62 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. herself getting daily better. I don't know how things may be between you and her; but if ever you have an opening, remember her need. Some- times a comparative stranger may say words which the home-folks cannot, or will not venture to say. Kath dear little Kath ! nobody can help loving her! guards Gracie like a very ogre from aught that might open her eyes. It's cruel, cruel kindness, so lovingly meant too ! You must wait and watch. Agitation is forbidden, and might do harm. There is the real difficulty. I am treating you with confidence, my dear, for your face tells me that I may." Katie raised her eyes to Mrs. Carrington's, as she said only, " Yes ! " Mrs. Carrington smiled. "I would rather have your quiet ' Yes,' than a great amount of vehement protestation. You must, as I say, wait and watch. Any word which might seem to hint at danger or death is strictly forbidden by Grace's parents. Yet an opening may come, if we ask it in prayer. Poor Gracie ! She was the flower of the family before this came on, so bonny and true-hearted. Even Kath doesn't equal what Gracie was. But she is sadly changed. Here comes tea, and here is Harold. You have met already." "Through a window," Harold said brightly AUNT CHATTIE. 63 "Mother miue, I found I should just have time for a cup of tea and good-bye before catching my train more than I expected. What a lovely day it is ! Fresh, after London. Miss Balfour, I am seri- ously thinking of bringing all my Parish accounts to you. Some one tells me you are magnificently gifted in that line." Katie did not blush or look embarrassed, as he half expected. She only smiled and said, " I sup- pose you have seen Bessie." "What is that?" asked Mrs. Carrington. " Only poor puzzle-headed Bessie, floundering as usual in a hopeless quagmire of figures. Miss Bal- four has kindly pulled her out, and set her on firm ground." " Mr. Hamilton might find work for which Bessie is better fitted." " But Uncle Thornton objects to a district, for fear of possible infection." A slight sound made him turn towards Katie. " I suppose you have been used to visiting among the poor." " Yes ; I meant to ask for a district here." Harold looked at his mother, and Mrs. Carrington shook her head. " You will have to wait for a while. By-and-by, perhaps " " I don't know what to do," said Katie, rather dis- tressfully. " I can't be idle for six months." 64 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " Work will be given you, if you really want work. My dear, don't be afraid. A little waiting does no- body harm." " If you can help Bessie out of a few of her quag- mires, that will be a real charity," said Harold. "Other quagmires besides figures," murmured Mrs. Carrington. Harold looked mischievous, as he added, " And if you want to win Kath's heart, you only have to show yourself as much an adept at hat-trimming as at figures." " For the poor ? " asked Katie innocently. " I believe Uncle Thornton does count himself a necessitous individual; otherwise one wouldn't ex- actly describe his daughters as ' the poor ! ' " laughed Harold. Katie did not know what to make of Harold's jesting manner, seeing which he became graver and talked pleasantly on other matters for ten minutes or so. Then he said good-bye, and went off at a quick pace to catch his train, Mrs. Carrington ob- serving, "My dear, you must not misunderstand Harold. His high spirits are not flippancy. His is a life of hard work and self-denial; and I like to see my boy able to laugh merrily." " My father never jokes," AUNT CHATTY. 65 "No; Stephen was always of a serious nature. But don't let yourself think that fun is wrong, because your father is not given to it. 'A merry heart is a continual feast,' you know; or if you don't know, I should like you to learn the fact. You will find certain difficulties in your new home, Katie. I know my sister too well not to be assured of this beforehand. Some such difficulties it will be best to meet, if possible, lightly and cheerily, not in too desperately serious a manner." " Only if they should want if I should be told to do anything wrong " " Then, my dear, don't do it." CHAPTER VII. A COMING BIRTHDAY. JELL, Katie, what do you think of Auiit Chattie's Nutshell ? " asked Winnie. Twenty-four hours had passed since Katie's visit to Mrs. Carrington, and nobody had yet taken the trouble to make any inquiry on the subject. Katie felt the omission, accustomed as she was to a close exchange of thought with her father on any and every matter which interested either. It was a very wet afternoon, and Katie had been spending an hour in her bedroom, writing a long letter to Mr.Bulfour,and indulging in some saddened dreams of past days " old times," she called them already to herself, though so recent. Coming downstairs at about four o'clock, she found her aunt and three cousins in the drawing-room, Elizabeth alone being absent. Gracie's sofa had been drawn near the fire, for it was a chilly day. Kath sat beside her, wearing 66 A COMING BIRTHDAY. 67 a sunny face, and busily engaged with a heap of white India muslin. Winnie, on a low chair near, with elbows on knees and chin on hands, seemed to be giving alternate attention to a story-book, and to the movements of Kath's fingers. " Come near the fire, Katie, you look quite blue," Grace said kindly ; and almost immediately Winnie uttered the above question. " I think it is a dear little place," Katie answered warmly. " Tastes differ," pronounced Winnie. " / like a house, not a cottage. It's all spiders and crawly creatures, and the ceilings are horribly low. What do you think of Aunt Chattie herself. Queer! isn't she?" Katie was conscious of inspection from Mrs Balfour's black eyes, and she had difficulty in con- trolling a sense of shyness. " Mrs. Carrington was so very kind," she said, " one could not help liking loving her. She told me I might go in as often as I could." " Oh, then, Aunt Chattie has taken one of her fancies. Mother, Aunt Chattie has fallen in love with Katie ! " " Nonsense," was the only answer vouchsafed by Mrs. Balfour. " She has. You'll see, mother ! / know." 68 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. "Nonsense," repeated Mrs. Balfour, in a tone rather disdainful than displeased. " You'll see," repeated Winnie, nodding her head. "I don't see anything so very surprising, if she has taken a fancy to Katie," remarked Kath with quick and pleasant tact, seeing her cousin look un- comfortable. " She and Katie's father were always great friends. Katie, there are lots of books on that side-table. Wouldn't you like to choose one to read ? " "Very much," Katie began; and then she hesi- tated. " But couldn't I help you in your work ?" Kath glanced up, with the sweetest of graceful smiles. " To be sure you could ! What a kind creature you must be ! I should like some help immensely ; but Gracie is too ill, and Bessie is too good, and Winnie is too lazy." " I think needlework is horrible ! " declared Winnie. Katie brought her workbasket from a side-table, pondering in some perplexity over the expression, " Bessie is too good ; " but glad to find once more a prospect of being useful to somebody, even in a small degree. She was speedily supplied with a long narrow flounce to hem. " I'm sorry not to give you something more interesting," Kath said apologetically ; " but perhaps you won't mind. A COMING BIRTHDAY. 69 Something is wrong with our sewing-machine, or that wouldn't take long. I don't often venture to bring out this sort of work in the drawing-room ; only it is so wet. I think we are pretty secure against callers." " Is this an evening dress for yourself ? " asked Katie. " Yes, for the 29th. Oh, don't you know ? It is Gracie's birthday. She can't get out and be amused this winter, poor dear, so we are going to have a big party of friends. I want to get my own dress done, father has just given it to me, and then I shall have plenty of time for Gracie's. Father has given her a new one, too, for the occasion, the prettiest pale blue silk, and she will look lovely in it. She must be well that evening, and able to enjoy herself. I'm going to make the dress myself, for nobody fits Gracie as I do. I don't mean to let her look too thin. Everybody is coming, and Gracie is to be our Queen, are you not, darling ? It will do you lots of good." Kath paused in her work, to lean over the couch for a kiss. Gracie brightened up, and grew flushed and eager, in the anticipation of her birthday party. Katie thought of certain words spoken by Bessie and Mrs. Carrington, and wondered silently. The 70 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. first week of November was not yet over; and how could any one tell what might be Grade's state before the end of the month ? This question came before her, as she noted Grade's frail look and transparent hands. " Katie, you look as solemn as a judge," said Kath quickly ; and Katie met a peculiar warning glance, which told her that she was gazing at poor Grade too solicitously. " I'm afraid you don't like such a long seam," continued Kath. " Oh yes, indeed ; I like work very much," said Katie hurriedly. " What shall you wear on the 29th, Katie ? " asked her youngest cousin. " My evening dress, I suppose. I only have one." " What ! that old thing that you wore yesterday evening ! " " My father could not afford to buy me another," said Katie gently. " I am very sorry ; but his going abroad costs so much. If that dress won't do, I can easily stay up in my room for one evening." Katie suddenly found her eyes full, and one or two large drops fell. She looked up at Grace, trying to smile. " I am not crying about a dress ; please don't think so," she faltered. " It doesn't matter in the least ; and nobody would miss me. I shouldn't mind ; indeed I shouldn't. It's only only about my father." A COMING BIRTH DA Y. " Yes, \ve know, dear," said Grace, in a soft tone. " Poor girl ! It won't seem so hard to bear in a few days. But you mustn't talk of staying upstairs on my birthday evening, for I should not like that at all." "Don't you have an allowance?" asked Winnie bluntly. " Father said he would send me something five pounds, perhaps by-and-by. He could not just now," Katie said, with some difficulty ; <c and when it comes I must make it last as long as possible." " Quite right, too," said Kath, with a reproving glance at Winnie. " But we'll think what to do. There's plenty of time." Tea was brought in, and almost at the same moment a cloaked wet figure appeared. " Bessie, you are not fit to be seen in here ! You are all over mud," Mrs. Balfour said, in a vexed tone. And, indeed, there was reason for the exclamation. A draggled skirt-tail dipped below the half-soaked ulster, in unhappy proximity to boots which had buried their native black under a dull brown coating; and a very old pair of kid gloves had plainly come into contact with dripping gate-handles ; and spatterings from passing vehicles were conspicuous on the black straw bonnet. It was a family saying, that mud always showed a peculiar affection for Bessie. 72 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " I haven't time to change things, mother; I must go out again directly I have had a cup of tea." " I would have foregone the cup sooner than have made my appearance in such guise," murmured Kath. " I couldn't. I am tired, and I wanted it," said Elizabeth, in an injured tone. She really did look pale, perhaps from her struggle with the gale. " You could have spared time to leave your cloak in the passage, I should think. Look at the marks your boots have made ! Eeally !" Mrs. Balfour said. Elizabeth stood her ground doggedly, waiting in an attitude of impatience, while Kath handed tea and bread-and-butter to her mother, to Katie, and to Grace. Bessie then advanced a step, and a small puddle became visible where she had stood. Mrs. Balfour pointed to it, and said, " Eeally ! " again, as if words failed her. Elizabeth knitted her brows, evidently annoyed to be censured. " Where are you going now?" asked Winnie. " Something that Mr. Hamilton wants done." "What! a secret mission?" cried Winnie. Elizabeth was silent. " I didn't know saints went in for beincj muddv : V ' but I suppose they are quite above attention to doormats." " Bessie, y< .u ;ire not fit to be seui in here !" 5Irs. Bnlfour said.- Page 71. A COMING BIRTHDAY. 75 " I forgot my boots were so damp," Bessie said in half-apology. It was not spoken graciously. " Damp ! " repeated Winnie, several notes of ad- miration in her voice. " If you are laid up with rheumatic fever, don't ask me to nurse you," remarked Kath, in a tone of light superiority. " You ought to change every- thing before going out again. It is perfect in- sanity." " I have a great mind to forbid you to go at all," said Mrs. Balfour. " What does Mr. Hamilton want done ? " "Mrs. Hamilton has a cold, and can't take her Bible-class. I am going to take it for her." "Glad I don't belong to the class," muttered Winnie. "I have a great mind to forbid your going," repeated Mrs. Balfour. Elizabeth drank off her tea, and set down the cup defiantly. "Mother, I have to go. I have promised, and I must. Some more tea, please, Kath." A second cup was disposed of rapidly, Bessie glancing once and again at Katie's busy fingers, as if in wonderment. Katie could not understand her look. Mrs. Balfour seemed to acquiesce in necessity and ceased to remonstrate. Bessie put 76 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. down her cup afresh, gazed hard at Katie again, and walked out of the room. "An undesirable fashion of leaving one's 'foot- prints in the sands of time,' " murmured Kath, looking at the carpet. " It's too bad," said Mrs. Balfour. "Mother, if I were you, I would not allow it," said Kath. "Bessie will be ill on our hands, the next thing. She is doing a great deal more than she has strength for." " And you have trouble enough already," Grace said sadly. Kath turned the subject at once, giving all her attention to bringing back Grace's smile. CHAPTER VIII. LATE TALKING. was getting ready for bed that night, when a tap at the door sounded. She could hardly believe it was only her third evening at " The Walnuts." So long a time seemed already to have elapsed since saying good-bye to her dear father; so wide and new a world seemed already to have opened out before her eyes. Sad- ness came over her keenly, when she found herself alone ; but not the utter loneliness of two days earlier. Loving interest towards and in these new cousins was springing up in Katie's warm heart. The tap came unexpectedly, just when she had sat down to read a few Bible verses, once more in her white dressing-gown. Thoughts of the past assailed her strongly, with a threatening of tears again ; and then the rap sounded. Katie answered by a summons to enter. " It's only me. May I come in ? " asked Bessie. 77 ?S LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " Oh yes," Katie replied, not without a touch of disappointment, for she had hoped it might be Kath. " Is there anything you want me to do?" Bessie entered and shut the door, making no immediate response. She found her way to a second chair, and Katie waited for the first remark, which seemed long in coming. " I'm interrupting you," Bessie said at length, with a gesture towards the open Bible. " No ; I really had not begun to read. But ought you not to be going to bed, Bessie ? Aunt said " "There is no hurry. I want to speak to you about something. You won't be offended, I hope. I think I ought to speak." " It isn't my way to be offended very easily," Katie answered, laughing. " Say anything you like. You know I have to learn your ways ; and perhaps I have done something which isn't liked." " Learning our ways is just what you ought not to do," said Bessie, with emphasis "the ways of the house, I mean." Kate hesitated, then said, "I don't see that. I want to please you all as much as possible." " If you can without doing what is wrong." "What have I done to-day that is wrong?" Katie went straight to the point. LATE TALKING. 79 Another pause, before Bessie asked, "Does your father approve of worldly gaieties ? " Katie smiled, yet sighed. " There wasn't much chance of gaieties at dear old Eckham," she said. " I suppose there might be worldliness without the gaieties." Bessie knitted her brows, as if puzzled. " I don't know what you mean," she said. "It is a question of doing what the world does, or coming out and being separate. I suppose you had not much opportunity for worldliness there. But you will have to choose here. Would your father think such things right ? " " I don't know yet exactly what things you mean. My father would not like me to be worldly, of course ; and I should not like it myself. But of course I am sometimes. That is one of the things one has to fight against." " And yet you could sit for hours helping Kath to make that dress ! and you could let them think you cared about having a new dress yourself, to go to that party ! " Katie looked perplexed in her turn. "I should be very glad to have a new dress, if I could afford it," she said ; " but I can't. It is a pity, because my old one is really shabby ; and I would rather not look shabby on Grade's birthday. Is that wrong ? " 8o LIFE IN A NUTSHELL " Her last birthday, most likely ! And to spend it in such a way ! " " Can one be so sure ? " asked Katie, with much feeling. "But, Bessie, even so, I don't quite see, of course it does seem to me very sad, it seems as if she ought to be told, ought to look forward, and know what is coming. But I don't see that there is anything wrong in having friends to spend her birthday evening with her." " Everything is wrong for Gracie which helps to blind her eyes. But I was talking about yourself, and about your going in for worldly gaieties." " Yes," Katie answered. "Don't you understand what I mean? About that evening. I don't suppose there will be danc- ing, because Gracie is not well enough to dance, and everything is to be for her amusement. But there will be a charade, and music ; and any amount of dress and flirtation, and gossip and nonsense. Kath wants father to give you a new dress, and he will, for he always does what Kath wishes." " I don't think you ought to have told me that," said Katie. " Am I meant to know it ? " " No, not yet, of course ; but I thought " I wish you had not told me." " It doesn't matter. That is of no consequence. And you mean to go to the party ? " LATE TALKING. Si " It is not going to it," Katie answered. " I do not see that I could help being present, when it is here, in the house, unless I had no dress to wear. I should be rude if I stayed away. Why, Bessie, you will be there ! " " No ; I shall make an engagement somewhere for the evening." " But will Uncle and Aunt like that ? " "I can't help it if they don't. I must act with decision. And of course one must expect some- thing of persecution." Katie could hardly resist a smile, and Bessie flushed up. " You may laugh, but it's true. Didn't you hear how they went on at me this after- noon ? " "But I shouldn't call that exactly persecution, would you ? Anybody might dislike muddy boots in a drawing-room." Katie's common sense was too severe for Bessie's acceptance. " You don't know anything about it," she said, with some annoyance. " Kath or Winnie might be muddy to any extent, and nobody would say a word. It is only I ! only because they knew I was out visiting the poor, and taking a Bible-class." Katie was silent. She hardly liked to say how much she had thought her cousin in the wrong ; 82 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. how great a pity it had seemed to her that annoy - ance should have been so needlessly given. Bessie suddenly exclaimed, " I thought you were a Christian, Katie ! " It was Katie's turn to flush, though she only said, " You don't mean in the sense of all baptized persons being Christians." " No, of course not. Of course, all in the house are Christians in that sense. But I thought it was a real thing with you, a real living for Christ. I thought you and I would feel together, and work together, and be apart from all the rest. And now you seem to be just putting yourself on the side of evil." Was the accusation just ? A lump rose in Katie's throat, as she said, " I don't know what you mean." " Why, Katie, you must know ! They don't love Him, or care to follow!" said Bessie. "Mother and the girls, I mean. Can't you see for yourself ? I should have thought it plain enough. They just live for this world, and nothing more. And you know that whoever is not ' with ' Christ is ' against ' Him. And you know that we have to come out from the world, and to be ' separate.' " " I thought we had to be ' in the world,' only not 'of'it." " Well, that means being separate, keeping apart. LATE TALKING. 83 I don't see liow you can mix up with all the people who will be at Grace's party, and dress like them, and talk as they do, and } r et not be ' of the world.' It isn't possible. You have to take your choice now, and so much depends on a first step. That was why I thought I ought to speak. I am afraid I have vexed you, but it seemed right to speak frankly." " I am not the very least vexed," Katie assured her. " Only one can't always agree directly with other people. My father has so often told me to think difficulties out for myself, and not merely to take what he said, just because he said it." " I don't see what there is to think out. One has to act." " Yes, but it isn't a matter so easily settled," said Katie, with a look of some distress. " People see things so differently ; and one can't always be sure that one's own way of seeing must be best; and there is the question, what is exactly meant by worldliness. I have had so little to do with difficulties of that sort in Eckham. But my father has often said how careful we ought to be not to judge others in doubtful matters. To make up our own minds of course, what is right for our own selves, but not to judije" " I should not call worldliness a doubtful matter," 84 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. said Bessie. And again she observed, "I thought you were a real Christian, Katie. I am so dis- appointed." Katie did not feel as if she could stand much more. A vision of her father's face came before her; and of the tender voice in which he had said at parting, "My Katie will be lonely sometimes, but she will always have her dear Lord and Master to uphold her. Look to Him for guidance, my darling, and don't let any shadows hide His face from your heart." "It is getting late, Bessie," she faltered. "I think you and I ought to go to bed. I will not forget all you have said, only I am sure we can't settle for one another about such things, and Judging must be wrong. I am afraid I judged you hardly this afternoon, and now you are judging me. I think I would rather die than go on wilfully doing anything that I know would grieve the Lord Jesus. But we can't always know His will perfectly, with- out waiting to be shown. I know He knows that T want to obey Him. But of course there are things where we are not told exactly in plain words how much is right or wrong, only we are told to be kind and gentle, and not to judge others. I suppose each of us must decide for herself." " Wrong must be wrong for anybody," said Bessie. LATE TALKING. 85 "And you mean to go on helping Kath with her dress ? " " Yes, I have promised to help ; and I can't think that is wrong. I have not to judge for Kath. Please, Bessie, I would rather not go on talking now; another day, please." Katie lifted her face for a kiss, and Bessie be- stowed it, not without coldness. She seemed per- plexed what to do, half began a remonstrance, then hesitated and left the room. Katie bowed her face low on the Bible, with one little sob. " Lord, Thou knowest all things ; Thou knowest that I love Thee," she murmured. CHAPTER IX. MR. BALFOUR'S GIFT. *jg) ATIE went through a good deal of troubled thought in the next few days. Perplexi- ties seemed to have come early in her new home ; and Katie's sensitive conscience was stirred and uneasy. Was Elizabeth right? Was she herself in the wrong ? She pondered the matter anxiously at times, as she sat helping Kath in preparations for the birthday party. Kath made full use of her fingers, always with kind apologies and warm grati- tude. Katie dearly loved to be useful, and had no dislike to needlework. Sometimes, however, a painful sense of unfitness, of incongruity, came over her, as she listened to Kath's light chatter, and saw Grace's eager absorp- tion in the subject, and noted the latter's fragile look. What if Gracie were indeed rapidly nearing the end of life? How terribly sad if her thoughts 86 MR. DALFOUR'S GIFT. 87 were indeed set upon these things, and these things only ! Then Bessie would appear, busy, moody, p re-occu- pied, absorbed in her own concerns, holding herself aloof with a cold disregard from family interests, and carelessly giving offence right and left, from the lack of a little thought and painstaking. Again the sense of unfitness and incongruity pressed heavily on Katie. One day she wrote a long letter to her father, de- scribing in detail her life at" The Walnuts," explain- ing fully her difficulties, and asking his advice. But when she read over what was written, it occurred to her that Mr. Balfour might be worried, might think his child not happy in his brother's house. Katie knew that any kind of worry was undesirable for him ; so she put the sheet into the fire, and rewrote the whole. Another meeting with " Aunt Chattie " did not take place so quickly as Katie had hoped. Mrs. Carrington's cold proved to be an attack of some- thing very like bronchitis; and for a fortnight or more, she was a prisoner to her bedroom, forbidden to see visitors, or to use her voice in talking. " All the fault of that wretched Nutshell of a house!" her brother-in-law declared. But as Mrs. Carrington had been all her life subject to such 88 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. attacks, . Katie could not see why "The Nutshell" needed to be blamed. After that evening conversation, Katie was con- scious of a marked holding aloof on the part of Elizabeth. It was as if her cousin said " You have chosen your path ; mine lies apart." Katie would not yield to feelings of annoyance, but she did not think that, had their positions been reversed, she would have acted differently towards Bessie. If she had thought Bessie in the wrong, she would at least have tried to win her to the right by kindness. Another fact, dawning slowly upon Katie's con- sciousness, was that Kath, with all her sweetness and lovable ways, possessed a somewhat jealous temper-. The signs of this were for a while slight and rare, bub decisive. Kath's evening dress was nearly completed when, one morning, Mr. Balfour came bustling into the room he always had a pompous busy air about everything that he did with a brown-paper parcel in his arms. Katie wished much that it had not been in her power to guess what the said parcel contained, as Mr. Balfour laid it before her. " Something for you, Katie," he said, beaming with a delighted consciousness of generosity. " Kath's notion ! I've taken your hint, Kath, my dear. Yes, it is yours, Katie." MR. DALFOUR'S GIFT. 89 If Katie showed less surprise than others expected, she certainly did not show less pleasure. Her thanks were warm, even before she saw the delicate India- muslin which lay folded within the brown paper, cream-coloured like Kath's, but of finer texture, and beautifully embroidered. Katie flushed, and exclaimed, " Oh, it is too lovely a great deal too lovely for me." " Why, it is ever so much better than Kath's ! " exclaimed Winnie. " Well, I thought the first present I have ever given to my brother's child shouldn't be a shabby one," said Mr. Balfour. " You'll do now, Katie, on the birthday night, eh ? " " It is too pretty," repeated Katie. She was sud- denly aware of looks exchanged between Kath and Winnie, and she knew that Kath was not pleased. Mrs. Balfour's face showed annoyance. So did Elizabeth's, though from a different cause. She evidently disapproved of Katie's gratification after all, by no means an unmixed gratification. Grace alone smiled with kind sympathy. " I would offer to have it made up for you, but there is no need with such a clever little woman in the house as Kath. She beats all the dress- makers hollow," said Mr. Lalfour, unconscious of the shadow on Kath's face. He made his way 90 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. out of the room, and Katie sat with the open parcel upon her knees, hardly knowing what to say or do next. " Kath, you ought to have gone with your father," said Mrs. Balfour. " He always blunders alone. It is an absurd choice. I told him to get a plain grenadine. And black would have been ten times as useful." " Katie will just cut out Kath altogether," said Winnie, with a girlish liking to stir up mud. " If father had got something different, it wouldn't have signified ; but to go and choose a second, exactly like his present to Kath, only ten times better ! I shouldn't like to wear yours beside it, Kath." " I don't know how in the world it is to be made by the 29th," said Kath shortly. " I have Gracie's to see after." " Pray don't say that to your father, or he will insist on putting it out to a dressmaker," said Mrs. Balfour, rising ; and Katie heard the little succeeding mutter, " Quite enough expense already." Pleasure in her present was gone ; and Grace looked pityingly at her downcast face. " It was so kind of Kath to think of asking Uncle," Katie said in a low voice. " I don't believe Kath would have asked him, MR. BALFOUR'S GIFT. 91 if she had guessed that he would get a prettier dress than hers," said Winnie, as Mrs. Balfour quitted the room, summoning Bessie to follow her. " You'll cut out Kath altogether." " Oh no ; that is quite impossible," Katie answered, with grave sincerity. " Kath is so very pretty ; and I am not pretty at all." " I mean in your dress, of course. There's mother calling you, Kath ; and I must be off to my drawing- class. I expect mother's in a way ! " with which consoling suggestion Winnie withdrew. Kath's moodiness seemed slightly lessened by Katie's last words; but she said nothing, only worked on with bent head, till Mrs. Balfour's voice again called her name. Then she threw down the dress-bodice and disappeared, showing an unwonted impatience. Katie, left alone with Grace, looked at her sorrowfully. "Never mind. It will all come right," Grace said. "I am glad my father has chosen such a pretty muslin." " If only it had been plainer ! " " You must not mind," repeated Grace. " Father only meant to give you pleasure, dear. And Kath will not really care. It is only just at the first moment. Poor Katie ! " Grace's kind look almost upset Katie. She laid 92 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. aside the parcel and went to the couch, putting her face on the pillow beside Grace's, with a feeling that here comfort might be found. "Dear Katie! I am so sorry you should have the worry. But it will all come right, it will in- deed," Grace said lovingly. "You mustn't think so much of a few quick words. It doesn't do to be too sensitive. In a family like ours, things can't always go quite straight, you know, so many different people to please. Living alone with your father must have been very different." " If only somebody cared for me here ! " broke from Katie's full heart. " Somebody does, for I do. Katie, I love you very much," Gracie assured her tenderly. " I have loved you from the very first day. And you must love me too, and come and tell me your little worries. It is always best to speak of them to somebody, and then they seem less. Be sure you do, for I shall like it. Now don't be unhappy any more, for it is quite true that I am very fond of you ; and you won't be able ta say again that there is nobody to care." If Katie's heart had not been won before, it was won now. She kissed Grace passionately, alike stirred and consoled. "Gracie, mayn't I sometimes do things for you, anything you want done ? " MR. BALFOUR'S GIFT. 93 " I should like it very much. Only we must be just a little careful not to give Kath pain," Grace said softly, as if afraid of being overheard. " You see, she has always been my especial sister, and she likes to do everything she can for me. But perhaps sometimes " " Don't you think some of the embroidery might go on Kath's dress ? " asked Katie, after a pause. " Better not propose it, I think. My father might notice. Besides, it isn't only a question of the dress looking better," added Grace. "Kath is his pet; and perhaps I think she is just a little hurt at his giving something better to somebody else. But that will not last. It will all come right, so you must not worry yourself. I think, if I were you, I would put away the dress now ; and some day, soon, Kath will propose to cut it out for you." CHAPTER X. FROM KATIE'S FATHER. dull and foggy days after the middle of November were succeeded by one of bright sunshine, and of spring-like warmth. Katie enjoyed the change heartily. She went off after luncheon, for a ramble on the Downs at the lower end of the valley, having been at work all the morning. Grace's birthday dress was nearly finished, and Katie had helped much in the making. Her own embroidered muslin lay still untouched in a drawer. Katie wondered sometimes how it was to be made up by the 29th. Hardly more than a week now remained, and she had not ventured to recur to the subject. Nobody else spoke of it. Kath had resumed her earlier manner towards Katie, yet with a difference. She seemed at times to be on the look-out lest her father should display any peculiar warmth towards Katie; and on certain 94 FROM KATIE'S FATHER. 95 days, there was a touch of irritability towards every- body except Grace. Other people did not show surprise at these changes of mood, so Katie sup- posed them to be not unusual. She thought Kath still most lovable and attractive; but the slight uncertainty as to moods was checking, and her greatest warmth of love went out towards Grace. Caution there, however, she found to be even more necessary. If Kath was jealous about her father, she was doubly jealous as to her position with Grace. Katie had to content herself with solitary rambles, commonly. She dearly liked walking, but she stood almost alone in the taste. Kath cared only for calls and shoppings; Elizabeth had no leisure to spare from parish occupations ; and Winnie was busy perpetually with her classes. In summer weather these grassy Downs, studded with occasional bushes, were somewhat overcrowded with the good folks of Penshurst strolling out to enjoy the fresh air. But not many cared to climb the heights in November, even on so sunny a day as this, and Katie found herself for once free to enjoy almost solitude. She did enjoy it thoroughly, and pressed up the hill-side with eager feet. A long letter had arrived from her father that morning, full of cheer for Katie. He seemed already G 96 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. better and stronger for the change, and was also find- ing kind friends amid new surroundings. "I am much grieved with your account of poor Grace," he wrote. " She was a sweet girl when I saw her last. Saddest of all, that none are allowed to speak to her of her state. There may be much serious thought going on below the surface, which no one can see; but surely she needs help. One can but pray that her eyes may be opened in time. " You do not tell me of any little troubles or diffi- culties, and that makes me the more sure that all does not go smoothly in your new home. Something in the tone of your last letter convinces me of this. "My dear, you need not be afraid to tell your old father everything. It will not hurt me to hear, and I may be able to help you with a few words. " If you want an immediate adviser on any point, do not be afraid to go to Chattie Carrington. She is always true, and always thorough. " You will, of course, find very much in your pre- sent quarters different from what you have been ac- customed to at Eckham. But don't make up your little mind that everything belonging to Eckhaui must needs be right, and that everything differing from Eckham ways must needs be wrong. Try to FROM KATIE'S FATHER. 97 take each question on its own ground, and weigh it independently. There is a broad margin wherein opinions and modes of action do and must differ, and a good deal of allowance has to be made for dif- ferences of bringing-up, varieties of character, and diversities of surroundings. " I am not speaking of any one difficulty in parti- cular, but only with a view to your position, my darling. Coming suddenly out of your peaceful little home-nest, it is quite a plunge into the world for you, and it is hardly possible that you should not be sometimes puzzled what course to pursue. "Well, and if you are, remember 'Keep THY HEART with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.' If the heart of a tree is healthy, not much is likely to be wrong with the leaves and flowers. " ' Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eye- lids look straight before thee.' Be clear and decided fur yourself, which does not at all mean judging for others. " ' Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established.' And with this join the promise, ' In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.' So guidance is promised for every step, if only we will look for it." " Dear father ! he does so exactly understand what 98 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. I want, even without my telling him," murmured Katie. She had been re-reading parts of the letter pacing up and down the grassy summit of the long low hill. Now she folded the sheet, put it away, and looked up, to see Harold Carrington coming to- wards her. " How do you do ? What, all alone ? " he asked, liftin" his hat and shaking hands. o o " I don't mind being alone, I am used to it in the country," said Katie. " And I don't think my cousins care for a ramble as I do." " So much the greater pity. It is a glorious day, and my mother will not let me stay indoors with her. By-the-bye, she wishes to see you again." " Aunt Euth says talking makes her cough, and I ought not to go yet." Harold laughed slightly. " My mother and Aunt Euth seem to differ. Come and see her to-morrow, if you can. Perhaps she has talked enough to-day. But she is much better now ; only a prisoner still. Are you going home ? " " I think I ought. It will be getting dusk soon." " Will you let me show you another way back ? " asked Harold. "It is a prettier road. You and I are to be cousins, you know!" as she hesi- tated. FROM KATIE'S FATHER. 99 "I should like it very much," said Katie, "if it isn't taking you too far." "I hope you have been gone long enough," said Winnie, when Katie came in ; only Elizabeth beside being in the room. " I don't believe the tea is drinkable by this time. It came up early for a caller." "Oh, I don't mind about the tea," said Katie, looking very bright. " Where have you been ? Mother won't like you to ramble about on the Downs after dusk." " I didn't, Winnie. It was light when I left the Downs; and Harold Carrington walked back with me." "Have you been to Aunt Chattie's? I thought mother said " " No, I met Harold on the Downs. I am to go and see Aunt Chattie to-morrow." Winnie drew her lips together with a peculiar expression. " Well, I advise you just to keep quiet about your walk with Harold," she said. " That won't be liked ! You can help yourself to tea, I suppose." Winnie looked too indolent to move, and Katie obeyed, finding a lukewarm beverage. "I don't understand," she said gravely. "Was there any loo LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. harm ? He offered to show me a second way home, and I did not like to refuse." " Oh, it doesn't matter ; only you had better be wise, and not talk. It's lucky for you that mother and Kath have gone out to tea at Mrs. Prince's. We have had one fuss already this afternoon." "I should not like to hide anything, especially if it were wrong." " There wasn't anything wrong, and you haven't got to hide it; only just to hold your tongue. People are not obliged to talk," said Winnie ; " and I don't see why you should be obliged to snub Harold, just because Kath likes a monopoly of everybody. Mother thinks he admires Kath im- mensely, but / don't believe he does. And I don't believe Kath cares one scrap for him; only she likes all the world to run after her." Katie stood thinking. " Is Gracie upstairs ? " she asked. " In her room. Didn't Gracie say something about Katie going to her ? " asked Winnie, turning to Elizabeth. "I don't know. Yes, she did. I believe she thought Katie would be back sooner," Elizabeth said, in an uncomfortable and almost sullen tone. "I'm so sorry. I'll go at once;" and in half FROM KATIE'S FATHER. 101 a minute Katie was tapping at Grace's bedroom door. A large fire blazed within, and Grace lay on the sofa near it, looking unwontedly sad. She had fits of depression sometimes, though usually bright ; and Katie fancied that one of these fits was on her now. " Gracie, I am so sorry not to have come earlier," she said. " I only heard just now that you wanted me." "Kath had to go out with mother. I thought you would not mind for a little while " " Oh no ; I love to do anything for you. If only I had known that Kath would be out, I should have come home a great deal sooner." Grace sighed faintly. " I am afraid you don't feel so well this after- noon," said Katie. " No, I don't think I do, only I didn't like to say it to Kath. She has too much on her hands, and she does so want me to be well for the 29th. But sometimes I think " Katie looked at her anxiously. " Yes, darling ? " " Oh, I don't know. Only I almost dread the bustle. Everything tires me so now. Dear little Kath has worked so hard to get my dress done. I 102 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. ain sure she works too hard, arid you must not say a word to her. Only if " Another sigh broke into Grace's words. " Dearest-! " whispered Katie. " There has been so much worry to-day. Bessie says she cannot be at the birthday party, and my father says she must. If she is not, he will be very angry. I can't think she is right to go against him. I don't thiuk he would mind so much if she spoke differently, but she seems to be so sure everybody is in the wrong except herself. I am'so tired of it all," sobbed Grace, suddenly breaking down. "Bessie ought not to have worried you," Katie said, trying to soothe the poor girl. " It could not be right. Don't mind crying a little ; it will do you good, darling. And don't think any more about Bessie just now." " She did not mean it was not said to me," murmured Grace. " Only I suppose she was excited. Bessie often gets excited. She seemed to think it wrong to have my birthday party at all, and still more just now, because I am ill. Father was so angry at that, he went away and slammed the door." " Bessie isn't wise," was all Katie said. " And it isn't as if I were so very ill, you know, dear. They all say I am better." FROM KATIE'S FATHER. 103 Katie offered 110 response to this. She could not help thinking how terribly wasted was the slight figure she held in her arms, kneeling by the couch ; could not help noting how short and panting was Grace's breath. " Do you think me better, Katie ? " The question came suddenly, taking Katie by surprise. She waited before answering, and her heart beat fast. A troubled look came into Grace's large blue eyes. " I should not have thought you better since I came," she said slowly. " But .that is not a long time, and I am not much of a judge. What does your doctor say ? " " I don't know. He doesn't tell me either way. Some days I feel quite bright, and I really seem getting on well only not to-day. But one must be tired sometimes. That isn't being worse, you know. It is only that I have been worried, and I'm not strong, so I can't stand much." " No, darling," was all Katie said. " I shall be stronger when spring comes on. The cold doesn't suit me." Katie hardly knew what to answer. She stroked lovingly the thin cheeks and the damp pale brow. Then she found herself saying softly, "Jesus knows 104 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. how tired you are, Gracie darling. He was so tired Himself sometimes." Grace's fingers tightened into a grasp of Katie's hand a wordless response. "And He is so loving, isn't He?" whispered Katie. " He feels so for us ! Don't you always love to think of those words : l As one whom his mother comforteth, so will I comfort you ' ? It is just motherly comforting that one wants when one is weak." Still no reply, except another quick warm pressure of her hand. Grace did not seem inclined to speak. Katie wondered whether she might venture to say more, and decided to wait. " Kath will be coming home soon, I suppose ? " she said presently. " Yes. Katie, won't you get a chair ? You will be stiff with kneeling." " Oh, I like it ; I am very strong. Do you feel a little more rested now?" " Yes, a little. You hold me so nicely," Grace said in her grateful way. " I have such a feeling of sinking to-day, as if I wanted holding up; but don't tell Kath ; it makes her unhappy." " Would Kath wish you to have the party, if she knew it would be too much for you ? " asked Katie. FROM KATIE'S FATHER. 105 " She thinks it will do me good. They all say I want cheering up. And perhaps if I am pretty strong that day, only I do get so very tired now. I think it must be the weather." Gracie closed her eyes and lay still, with her head on Katie's shoulder, seeming to sink into a doze. CHAPTER XL THE BLUE DRESS. FTEE a short time, during which there was no sound but that of the flickering flames, steps were audible outside, but Grace did not stir, and Katie could not attempt a change of position. Kath came in smilingly. "Well, dearie, how are you?" she began. Then she stopped short, and a look came into her face which Katie had seen there before, and had learnt to understand. " I think Gracie was almost asleep," said Katie. " I hope not. She will lie awake all night," said Kath shortly. " Have you had a nice time at Mrs. Prince's, Kath dear ? " asked Grace, releasing her cousin by a slight movement. " Pretty well," Kath said, in the same tone. " Katie has been taking care of me while you were 106 THE BLUE DRESS. 107 away, part of the time. Kath, won't you show her my new dress, now it is finished ? " " There is no need. Katie saw it this morning, and I have not worked much since. Besides, I can't tell whether it is really done till you have tried it on." " Would you like me to try it on now ? " "Oh, not to-day; you are not well enough," began Katie ; but a slight touch from Grace's hand checked further remonstrance, and Kath at once took the opposite side. " Of course, the sooner the better. I have Katie's dress to do next, and I don't know how in the world to manage it." " Oh, but " Katie began. " I should like to try on mine now, very much," said Grace cheerfully. " It will do me good. I have been lying quiet till I am stupid. Where is the dress ? I am sure Katie will fetch it." No ; Kath went off for it herself. Grace gave one sigh, and murmured, " Poor Kath ! " Almost imme- diately Kath returned. " It was in the spare room," she said, with more of her usual pleasantness. " You are sure you would like to put it on now ? Well, we must have one or two more lights." Katie was glad to be allowed to procure extra io8 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. candles. Then they both helped Grace to stand up, and arrayed her in the pretty pale-blue silk, with cream-lace ruffles round throat and wrists. The dress certainly did suit her very well. A slight flush had come to her cheeks, and a brightness to the blue eyes. Katie had never seen her look prettier. Kath was delighted with the results of her toil, and she walked round, surveying Grace's tall slender figure from all points, noting the need for a slight change here, or suggesting a possible improvement there, becoming perfectly good-tempered herself once more. " Gracie, you are just lovely ! " she cried. " I do believe you will be more admired this birthday than ever before." A faint smile crossed Grace's face. " I must get a little fatter before that will be possible, Kath. People don't admire skin and bones." " You are not ' skin and bones.' Nonsense ! Your face never looks so very thin, and it has plenty of colour sometimes ; and I have put any amount of wadding into the bodice. Katie, doesn't she look sweet ? " Katie tried to say "Yes," and failed. Grace's fair and fragile beauty struck to her heart with a keen pain. " Grade, you are just lovely ! " she cried. Page 108. THE BLUE DRESS. ill " Why, Katie, dear ! " Grace said in surprise. Kath stepped behind Grace and gave Katie a furious look of reminder. Katie mastered with haste her momentary agitation, and said, " I never saw anybody prettier." " You are both trying your best to make me very conceited. If I did not know it to be all owing to Kath's work " " You're not the only person I make dresses for, my dear Gracie," said Kath. " But the after-effect isn't always the same." She turned away to pick up some scraps of lace, laying them on a table. " I am glad that is satisfactory. Katie will have to work hard with me at her dress now. I have an immense amount to do, getting up the charades. Father declares he won't have dancing, or anything else in which you can't join. I am going now to call mother to look at you." A faint sigh, and Grace spoke in an altered tone: " Kath, please wait ; I almost think " Kath was moving towards the door, but she stopped at once, and turned. "Why, Gracie, are you tired ? " " I don't know. I feel so strange. Kath ! " Katie's arm was already round Grace, supporting her in the few steps to the sofa. There was a slight cough, as Grace lay back, and she sat up again with ri2 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. her handkerchief pressed to her mouth. White one instant, a red stain showed through it the next, and the handkerchief had not been whiter than was Grace's terrified face now, as she looked towards her sister. " Kath ! O Kath ! " came in agonised appeal, and again the cough sounded, with renewed flow of blood. Colourless to the lips as Grace herself, Kath seemed at the instant stunned with horror. It was Katie, not Kath, who with firm grasp laid back the almost fainting girl. " Gracie, hush ! don't move, don't speak," she implored. " Kath, keep her still, while I call some one!" But Grace's fingers clutched Katie's hand con- vulsively, and she could not stir. It was no time for discussion. Kath rushed away. CHAPTER XII. NIGHT-WATCHING. had never so felt her own helplessness as during the long hours of the following night. Gracie lay on the very brink of the Death-river ; and they all knew it. The flow of blood was checked; but at any moment it might recur; and if it did, there was little or no hope. The doctor, Mr. Willoughby, was long in the house ; and when he left, it was with a promise to return soon. A nurse had been telegraphed for, but was not expected to arrive before morning. Mrs. Balfour proved hysterically useless, and though in and out of the room, she could not be depended on. Elizabeth, admitted for half-an-hour, seemed vague and helpless, and looked so wretched, that the effect upon Grace was manifestly depress- "3 H4 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. ing, and she had soon to be banished. Winnie was judged too young and inexperienced to be of any service. The work of nursing therefore fell upon Kath and Katie. Together they watched beside the bed through the long hours of darkness. Young as Katie was, she had seen much of illness, including this particular form of illness, in her father's parish ; and although Kath had been absent from home at the beginning of Grace's former attack, she was by nature capable. Grace lay in absolute silence, forbidden to move or speak. But the sad frightened eyes wandered anxiously from one to another, as if trying to read the truth in faces round ; and the thin fingers clung persistently to Katie's hand. If Katie left the room for five minutes, Grace seemed restless and impatient until her return. Kath would not have liked this generally, but it was a time when jealousy could have no place. The slightest sound of a threatening cough sent a shock of terror through the girls, as if it had been Grace's possible death-warrant. Yet hour after hour the haemorrhage kept off, and Katie's voiceless prayers became mingled with silent thanksgivings. NIGHT-WATCHING. 115 Once only Gracie broke the long silence strictly enjoined on her. Kath had glided out of the room, saying only, " I shall be back directly." No one knew why. She seemed so cheerful and composed, that none could have guessed how near the poor girl's heart was to breaking, at the terrible thought that she might have had a hand in bringing on this attack. But for Kath's little fit of jealousy, she would have seen that Grace was in no state that afternoon for any needless exertion. The haemorrhage might have taken place in any case ; but on the other hand it might be that standing about to try on the new dress was just the one effort too much. Kath hardly knew how to endure such a possibility. She did endure it for hours, without a sign ; but at length the passion of distress rose so high, that a few minutes of solitude became an absolute necessity, if she would conquer. The parlour-maid, Ann, was in the room, nearly asleep beside the fire, and no one else. Practically, therefore, Katie found herself alone with the sick girl. Hardly had the door closed behind Kath, when a faint voice uttered one word : " Pray." " Gracie, darling, I am praying for you all the time every moment." n 6 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Katie spoke calmly, leaning over the bed. She knew that there must be no agitation. The blue eyes looked up into hers beseechingly, and again there was the low utterance : " Pray." Katie could not hesitate. She knelt down, and softly uttered words which she had often so used before words which have gone up from thousands of sick-beds through centuries past : " Lord, look down from heaven, behold, visit and relieve this Thy servant. Look upon her with the eyes of Thy mercy, give her comfort and sure confidence in Thee, defend her from the danger of the enemy, and keep her in perpetual peace and safety ; through Jesus Christ our Lord." It seemed to Katie, as she prayed, that all Gracie's needs were comprised in these few beau- tiful petitions. Gracie clasped her hand with silent grateful pressure. Katie stood up and bent over her again. " Gracie, darling, Jesus has heard, and He will answer," she said very gently. " He always hears, always answers ; and He loves you so dearly." Again the slight fingers closed round hers. " Yes, you must do that, instead of speaking," Katie went on. " I shall know what it means. NIGHT-WATCHING. 117 And there's no need to speak, darling. There's only need just to look up to Him. He never refused to help anybody who wanted His help. And He died for you. That means everything, all the pity and comfort we can ever want. Shall I say you one short hymn now ? Don't speak ; only squeeze my hand if you would like it." The response was very decided, and Katie began, softly and slowly still, those lines by Hetty Bow- man: " Now at Thy feet I lie, Savi.our dear ; Let Thine own healing touch Fall on me here. Nought can I do but cling : Tears will not come : Thoughts float away from me ; Words I have none. Only, 'Thou knowest, Lord,' This I can say : This my one resting-place, All through my way ; All that I cannot tell Even to Thee, Straight through my silence, Lord, Thine eyes can see. Ii8 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. All my wrong-doing, Lord, Clear in Thy sight ; Nothing that I would hide v E'en if I might. Pain, too, and suffering, None near to heed : Jesus, my Brother, Friend, Thou takest heed. Thy blood can cleanse me, Lord, Whiter than snow ; Many a truth I miss, This one I know. So I will cling to Thee, So wilt Thou keep, E'eu when I cannot cling Thy weakest sheep ! " Before the close of the second verse, Kath came in. Katie could hardly subdue a nervous tremor; but Gracie lay intently listening, and Katie went on without any apparent hesitation. At the words " Pain, too, and suffering, None near to heed ! " Grade's eyes went from one to another in evident protest ; but when the last verse came, they filled with tears. Her hand pressed Katie's anew. Kath NIGHT- WA TCHING. 1 19 was standing gravely on the other side of the bed. " Gracie ought to be quiet now," she said. Katie could not understand the tone. She noted Kath's pale cheeks and reddened eyes, both of which Kath was evidently at pains to conceal from the invalid. Grace looked more peaceful, and presently she sank into a doze. Mr. Willoughby found her thus when he called before breakfast to see how she was getting on; and the opinion he expressed was on the whole favourable. But Katie noted that there was no mention of real recovery. Two hours later the nurse arrived; not too soon, for the girls were getting worn-out. She seemed thoroughly efficient, fitting into her place at once, and advising both Katie and Kath to obtain rest without further delay. Gracie had fallen asleep, and Elizabeth promised to wait in the adjoining room, and to call them in a moment, if they should be required. " You will come with me to my room, Kath, won't you ? " asked Katie, as they stood outside. Kath looked white and dazed, as if scarcely knowing what she was about. Katie took her LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. arm, and led her upstairs, making her lie down on the bed; and Kath submitted without a word. But neither of them could sleep. Katie, lying beside Kath, knew she was not meant to hear the smothered sounds of long low weeping. She dared not seem to hear, lest she should drive Kath away. No word passed Kath's lips which might have given Katie a clue to the self-reproach weighing so heavily upon her. CHAPTER XIII. THE BIRTHDAY. ijHE birthday party had to be given up ; and the blue silk dress was put away. Katie's Indian muslin lay unmade in a drawer; and friends were one and all put off. Gracie was rallying in some degree from her attack; but all manner of excitement was strictly forbidden. That she would be able even to leave her bed was more than they had ventured to hope. Yet when the day came, she really seemed brighter ; and in the afternoon she was lifted to the sofa, to lie there, smiling, with all her birthday gifts around her. Katie had been struck with the sweet grave look on her face, as some of those gifts were presented. A gold filagree bracelet from her father; a white opera-cloak from her mother ; would these ever be worn by Gracie ? Katie asked the question of her- 122 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. self; and she fancied that the same question had come to her cousin. Since the first night after the haemorrhage, it hap- pened that Katie had never once, even for a minute, been left alone with Gracie. She could not but think that Kath carefully arranged this. Either Kath, or Mrs. Balfour, or the nurse, was always there. But for Grace's own evident wish to have Katie with her, she would probably have been more seldom admitted to the room. No second opportunity had occurred, however, for any more such words as Katie had been able to speak once, and only once. Did Gracie wish for them ? Katie's own present to Grace had been a small copy of the " Christian Year." She thought no ex- ception could possibly be taken to this; and she judged rightly. Bessie's chosen gift of a volume of "Sermons for the Sick" had a different reception. Mr. Balfour " pshawed ; " Mrs. Balfour shrugged her shoulders; while Kath tossed the book contemp- tuously out of Grace's reach. Bessie was evidently pained; and not even Grace's kind thanks could drive the cloud from her face. Under the circum- stances, Bessie had not made a wise selection. Mrs. Carrington called that afternoon, and by Grace's own wish she was admitted. THE BIRTHDAY. 123 "I'm not going to tire you out, my dear," she said, stooping to kiss Grace with a tenderness which Katie hardly expected from her. " Just two minutes " "To wish her 'many happy returns,'" Kath said gaily. " Yes ; just so many as God wills for you, Gracie," Mrs. Carrington responded; "and not a single one beyond." "/should like a heartier wish than that on my birthday," said Kath. " Would you, Kath ? What, better than to have God's loving will for you ? " Kath looked up defiantly, and then her eyes fell. " Well, we needn't get into a discussion," she said. " People see things differently. Just look what pretty presents Gracie has had to-day." " I have brought my quota, though birthday keeping isn't much in my line. I had a fancy that you would like these, Gracie." " These" were several exquisite rosebuds, pink and creamy, nestling among delicate fronds of maiden- hair fern. A light handkerchief thrown over the bunch had concealed it hitherto. Grace's pleasure was unmistakable. She seemed as if she could never be weary of looking and inhaling. " Katie, will you spend to-morrow afternoon at 124 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. my house ? I am expecting Harold," Mrs. Carringtou said, when she rose to go. Nobody made any objection, and Katie accepted the invitation, though conscious of a certain some- thing in Kath's face which certainly was not pleasure. " That's a compliment," said Winnie, after Mrs. Carrington's departure. "Fancy asking you there to meet Harold ! Why, she generally seems to want him all to herself. I believe she thinks none of us good enough ! " Winnie spoke derisively, and marched away. " Katie has the sort of cant at command which suits Aunt Chattie," said Kath in a hard voice. No one now was present, besides herself and Grace and Katie. One low " Kath ! " escaped Katie's lips. She sat silent then, putting a strong restraint upon her- self. For this was neither kind nor true. Grace's eyes were lifted to her sister in grave reproach. " Kath, dear, you don't really mean it," she said. " You know Katie never talks cant." " She knows it wouldn't go down with us. I've no doubt there is any amount of it, when she is at the ' Nutshell.' " " Kath ! " Grace's tone was full of pain. " How can you talk so ? Would you call it cant, if / spoke to you of such things ?" THE BIRTHDAY. 125 " What things ?" " Religion," Grace said, with an effort. " It wouldn't be your way to talk for the sake of talk like some people. Gracie, we needn't go on about this. For my part, I hate religious talk, and anything that worries you. I want you to look bright, and not to think." One of Grace's thin hands drew Kath down over herself. " But I must think, and I ought to speak," she said gently. " It has been a bad attack this time ; and suppose I had another." " Well I hope that wouldn't be so bad a one," said Kath hardily. " And if it were ? If I did not get through ?" Kath burst into an indignant protest. " But, Kath dear, it would be childish of me to refuse to see the truth," said Grace, in a quiet tone. " I must look it in the face ; and I must look forward." " Katie has been putting this into your head ! " " No, not Katie. I could not help knowing how ill I was. I saw it at the time in your eyes, darling. You could not hide what you felt. And although you all say I am better, I can't help knowing that it may come again. And I do so want to be able to look forward without fear." 126 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " If any one can, you can, so good as you are ! " " Oh no ! If you knew me really, you could not say that. If you knew what it is to stand on the very brink, and not to be sure not to know Kath, don't try to hinder me ! I must think more and learn more. You must help me, and Katie ! I want Katie's help." Kath raised herself hastily, turned away, and left the room, shutting the door behind her. " Is she vexed, or only upset ? " asked Grace. "I don't know. I should think only upset," said Katie. "Gracie, this excitement is not good for you." " No, not very ; but I could not help it. Now this is our first chance. I want to hear that sweet hymn again. Say it to me, please, dear." Katie obeyed at once, though not without a secret dread of interruption. But no one came. " So will I cling to Thee, So wilt Thou keep," murmured Grace at the end. Then a troubled look came into her face. " I have been wanting to ask you something," she said. " I don't see what I am to do. I want to love Christ, but I can't. I can't make myself. I have tried and tried, and it is of no use." " Father has often spoken about that to me," THE BIRTHDAY. 127 said Katie. " I used to be unhappy, at one time, because I could not feel that I loved as I should; and so I couldn't feel safe. And father said I was beginning at the wrong end. He said we must never expect to be saved because of our love to Him, but only because of His love to us. And he said I could never make myself love Christ. I could only ask Him to show Himself to me ; and then love must come, because nobody can ever know Christ without loving Him." " But I want to feel safe, whatever happens," said Grace. " Yes ; that was what I wanted. I was always thinking how it would be, if I fell ill and died suddenly. For, after all, people in good health are not any more certain of life than people who are ill. And my father told me I mustn't be too impatient to feel safe. He said the great thing was to be safe/' "But how?" " He said I must just put myself at the foot of the Cross, and wait there. He said that was safety ; for nobody could ever be lost, waiting at the foot of the Cross, even though one might be kept wait- ing a little while, without having any feelings of joy. It isn't a question of feeling happy, but just of trusting all to Jesus just clinging to His hand, or even touching the hem of His garment. My father I* 128 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. said that it wasn't at first a question of our loving Him, but only of our believing that He loves us, and that He has died for us. The love grows later, when one learns what He really is in Himself." " I think I see," Grace said, her face brightening. " But isn't there anything to do first ? " " Nothing, before coming to Him coming to the Cross," Katie answered earnestly. " One must be willing to leave off what is wrong, and to be taught His will, and to obey Him in everything. But the first step is just coming." "I think I must have come to Him that night, when you helped me," Grace whispered, flushing. " I have not felt so frightened since. Katie, I do think He must be teaching me." The door opened, and Kath came in smiling. "Look!" she cried, "more flowers yet, you Queen of the Day ! Mrs. Prince has sent this splendid bouquet. Aunt Chattie's buds will have to hide their diminished heads." " Oh, but there are no flowers prettier than roses," said Katie. Kath gave her a look, and vouchsafed no reply. "And here are letters for you by post. Will you read them now, or are you tired ? I don't like to see you so flushed. What have you been talking about ? " THE BIRTHDAY. 129 " Will you read my letters to me, Kath ?" " Presently;" and there was so meaning a glance in Katie's direction, that she stood up. " Don't go, Katie," said Grace. " Perhaps I have been here long enough," said Katie. " Have I, Kath ?" No answer again. Katie would not put the ques- tion a second time. She bent over Grace for a loving kiss, and left the room. CHAPTEE XIV. AN INVITATION. )HE marked displeasure shown in Kath's manner to Katie continued all that even- ing. Nor was there any change at break- fast next morning. If Katie addressed her, she either made no reply, or answered with cold curt- ness. Katie could hardly understand this treatment from one who at times seemed so warm-hearted; and she could not but be much pained by it. Yet her heart was full of thankfulness on Grace's account. Kath had evidently spoken to her parents of what had passed; for Mrs. Balfour's air was far from pleasant; and Mr. Balfour seemed to be in a general state of discomfort as to everything and everybody. About an hour after breakfast, he accosted Katie in a passage, putting an abrupt question. 130 AN INVITATION. 131 " Has your aunt told you of Chattie's invitation Mrs. Carrington's, I should say ? " " No," Katie answered in surprise. " Saw her last night, had some business in that direction," said Mr. Balfour rapidly, as if wishing to hurry through what had to be said. " She would be quite willing gratified, I mean to take you in for two or three weeks." Katie made no response. " You won't have any dislike to the plan, I sup- pose ? I believe it was understood from the first, as possible, I mean," said Mr. Balfour. " I should like to pay Aunt Chattie a visit very much, if she really wants me," said Katie gravely. " Only just now, with Gracie so ill, could I not be useful here ? " " That's just it," said Mr. Balfour, lowering his voice, and glancing round suspiciously. " My wife and Kath think she is better quiet. You see, she is rather apt just now to get on depressing subjects, and perhaps not being very old or experienced, you know perhaps you don't quite know the best way of meeting her at such times. Any kind of excitement is bad for the poor dear. So, on the whole, no doubt it will be best I mean your going to Chattie's. You won't think 132 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. us unkind, I am sure. Just until Gracie is a little stronger." " May I not coine in and see her sometimes ? " asked Katie, much more distressed than was ap- parent. " Yes, yes, certainly, as often as you like. Only make a point of talking cheerfully when you do. She mustn't have dismal notions put into her head bad for an invalid, you know. Not that you meant to do it, of course. But we have to be careful. You will see Aunt Chattie this afternoon, and you can arrange with her about going. I believe she mentioned to-morrow. She is a good creature, and you'll enjoy being there though she has some little peculiarities." Mr. Balfour hurried away, and Katie passed on to the drawing-room, looking and feeling dejected. " Mother says you are going to stay at ' The Nutshell' for a month," was Winnie's greeting. " Glad it isn't I." " Hush, Winnie ! How you meddle ! " said Mrs. Balfour. " Mrs. Carrington sent an invitation to you yesterday evening, Kate, by my husband. She would be pleased if you could stay with her for a little while two or three weeks, perhaps. I believe she expects a visitor in a month, but her spare room is AN INVITATION. 133 free till then; so it is a good time. And really it would be a kindness to poor Chattie. Harold is so seldom at home, that she must be fearfully dull. She has wished for some time to propose this, but has not liked to do so sooner." One possible answer after another flashed through Katie's mind, but she only said, "Uncle has just told me." " Oh he has ! Just after asking me to explain ! " Mrs. Balfour looked uncomfortable, perhaps from a sense of possible discrepancies in the two reports. " Well, I believe you will enjoy a month with Chattie, as much as anything." " I am very fond of her," said Katie gravely. " Aunt Euth, may I come and see Gracie every day?" " Of course you may come as often as you like," said Mrs. Balfour. "That is to say she can see you when she is well enough. Grace has had too much talking lately, and we think she ought to be kept more quiet." Katie understood, and she went to her own room, heavy-hearted. Mrs. Carriugton's version of affairs, that after- noon, was short and simple. She held Katie's hands, smiled quizzically, and said I 3 4 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " So they want to get rid of you already, iny dear ! " Katie's lips were unsteady. Mrs. Carrington bent to kiss her forehead. " Poor little woman ! But don't be distressed ; it means nothing. Some fancy of Kath's probably. Thornton said they wished to keep Grace more quiet. Generally the tide sets the other way." " I think I know the real reason," said Katie, in a husky tone, when she had removed her jacket, and taken a seat, and Mrs. Carrington recurred to the subject. " Should I be wrong to tell you, Aunt Chattie? Gracie and I have had one or two little grave talks. Kath came in once, when I was saying a hymn to Gracie. And yesterday, Gracie told Kath plainly that she might at any time be worse, and that she ought to think; and she said she wanted me to help her." " That brought matters to a point, I suppose. Well, I had my hopes. Poor lamb ! and they want to cut her off from your help." " It wasn't much. I couldn't do much," Katie said very low. " Aunt Chattie, it will be all right with Gracie." " One may not doubt it, my dear. The lost lamb seeking the Shepherd, and the Shepherd seeking His AN INVITATION. 135 lost lamb, He will soon have her in His loving arms." " If she isn't there now. I think she is," Katie whispered. " And you have been able to bring her a little help, Katie?" " Not much. It was only just a few words." " That's about as much as most of us are good for. Better few words than many, in most cases. But, Katie, Katie, you ought to be singing a song of thankfulness, not looking sad and down-hearted. The very angels in heaven rejoice when a wander- ing lamb is sought and found. I dare say your feelings have been a little hurt ; but what does that matter ? Cheer up. You will come here to- morrow, and we shall learn to know one another thoroughly." " Shall I not be in the way ? " " Not in the least. I should have asked you sooner, but it seemed wise to wait. Now the thinf has been taken out of our hands, and I am O ' much pleased to have you. I hope you will have no objection to living in a Nutshell." " I have been doing that for some weeks." " A walnut- shell ! But this is a very much smaller description of nut, my dear. However, life itself 136 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. need not be small, because one's surroundings are small; and the mere fact of living in a large house doesn't make one's life great." " Oh no ! " Katie said involuntarily. So bright an hour of conversation followed, that Katie went back really happy in the thought of her proposed visit ; only there was the remem- brance of Grace. That " only " weighed on her heavily. She loved Grace very much ; and she could read sorrow in Grace's wistful eyes that evening. No words alone were permitted them. Only when Katie went into Grace's room for a good-bye kiss, Grace pressed her hand, and said, " You must come very often and see me, dear." " I shall try to come every day," Katie said. " And I shall always be thinking of you." " It will be nice for Aunt Chattie to have you," said Grace, in a quiet tone. " One must not be selfish." " I would much rather have stayed here, with you," escaped Katie. Kath made an impatient movement. " Would you ? " Grace asked. " Oh no ; that would not be right. But come often, Katie. And take care of yourself there. It is a draughty little house, I am afraid." AN INVITATION. 137 " Gracie will be tired," said Kath. " Good-bye, darling," Katie whispered, and she went away with moist eyes not expecting that daily, for a fortnight to follow, she would be denied admittance to Grace's room. CHATTER XV. KEPT APART. jJjOILED again, Katie?" asked Mrs. Car- rington. More than two weeks had passed since Katie first came to " The Nutshell." It had been a very happy fortnight, peaceful and quiet, but full of interest. Mrs. Carrington could be a fascinating companion when she chose ; and with Katie she did choose. Moreover, Harold was often in and out ; much oftener than Katie had expected. She liked him increasingly ; and at present she did not in the least realise how very much he liked her. Only Harold's own mother was aware of his growing attachment. He and Katie were on easy cousin- like terms, though they were not really cousins. The one drawback to Katie's enjoyment was the constant recollection of Grace. Day after day she went to " The Walnuts ; " and day after day she KEPT APART. 139 vainly asked admission into the sick-room. One afternoon the invalid \vas asleep; another, she was fatigued ; another, she had talked too much already. Katie was grieved, dreading lest Grace should mis- understand her non-appearance. She had, however, to submit to Kath's dictation. This afternoon her absence had lasted longer than usual. Mrs. Carrington greeted her on her return with the almost daily question, " Foiled again ? " " No ; I saw Gracie for a few minutes." " How does she seem ? " " I thought her very ill ; but Kath calls her better." " Did Gracie seem to think herself better ? " " I don't know. I could hardly tell," Katie said soberly, yet with a light in her eyes. "We had not many words. Gracie seemed so weak, and Kath was trying all the time to hurry me away. I don't think I should have seen Gracie even to-day, only I met Uncle Thornton outside, and when I said I had not seen her for a whole fortnight, he was vexed, and took me straight into her room. I hope I have not done harm by saying that to him." " Does Gracie understand why you have not been before ? " " I couldn't ask her ; but I said how sorry I 140 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. was that she had not been well enough to see me and I think she understood, from her manner. I do think she looks happier, not excited, but so peaceful" " Dear child ! " " She had the little copy of the Christian Year lying by her," continued Katie, speaking not quite easily " the one I gave her on her birthday. And she said, 'I like this so much, Katie. 1 wonder whether any of my favourites are your favourites too.' And then she gave it to me open I think it must have been opened there on purpose, and two lines were marked underneath with a pencil, " Lo, at Thy feet I fainting lie, My eyes upon Thy wounds are bent, ' ' Katie's voice failed. " Yes, yes, I know," said Mrs. Carrington. " They belong to Good Friday. Yes ; I know : " ' Upon Thy streaming wounds my weary eyes Wait, like the parched earth on April skies.' That is how it goes on." " There were only the two lines marked." " Enough, too. That is a safe position to be in. Did anything more pass ? " "No; Kath began talking of other things, and then she said Gracie ought to be quiet, and I had KEPT APART. 141 to cuuie away. I don't think she or Aunt Ruth want to have me back." " Perhaps not. And I am by no means anxious to part with you. But, my dear, I cannot feel that I should be right to make your staying here longer than the month a possible matter. If Gracie needs your help and it is very evident that she does turn to you " Katie looked up with distressed eyes. "But that is just it," she said. "What am I to do ? Aunt Ruth and Kath will be so vexed, and yet, if Gracie speaks to me of such things, I can't refuse to answer." " I think you would be refusing to do your Master's work if you did. I know it is a difficult position. But you do not stand alone. You will be guided." " Only " Katie murmured. " Only, of course, it is painful to be where one feels one is not welcome. It hurts one's pride. Must you give in to that? The fact is, I have a visitor coming in a fortnight ; and I have told your aunt that you must go back to 'The Walnuts' then. It would not be convenient to me to defer my visitor. She has long looked forward to spending this New Year with me ; and I know that all her arrangements are made. I don't say 142 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. it would be an absolute impossibility to put her off, though, for her sake, T should be very sorry. If I felt it to be right, I would propose delay; but I do not. I feel that Gracie needs you, and ought to have you. And I think you ought to be willing, for Gracie's sake, to disregard feelings and to go." " Yes, I will. I will do what you think best, and indeed, I should not like you to put off your friend. But I am so happy with you; and it is different at ' The Walnuts.' " " That is a good hearing for me," said Mrs. Carrington, smiling, " so far as your happiness here is concerned, I mean. Well, we have an- other fortnight together, and, I hope, a happy Christmas." Katie's appeal to her uncle took effect, and she was no longer denied admittance to Gracie's room ; though Kath shortened her visits as much as pos- sible, and took care to be always present. Towards Christmas came a spell of inild weather, not usually accounted healthy in December, but it seemed to suit the invalid better than the cold spell preceding. She rallied considerably, and was able once more to come downstairs, even to take her place at meals amid the family circle. KEPT APART. 143 How far the improvement was genuine, or likely to prove lasting, might well be doubted. But Kath was in gay spirits, and everybody talked much of Grade "getting well again;" everybody except Bessie and the inmates of " The Nutshell." Gracie herself gave no opinion on the subject, one way or another. When Kath told her merrily that she was soon to be " quite strong, and able to take a four-miles' walk," she only smiled. Katie found Kath so much pleasanter and more lovable, these brighter days, that she began to wonder how much of past petulance and coldness had not sprung from sheer depression and unhappi- ness. Some people do show sorrow through the medium of ill-temper. To her astonishment, two days before Christmas, she came upon Kath in the morning-room of " The Walnuts," hard at work upon her cream-coloured muslin. Grace was on the sofa, with a book, and Elizabeth was busy at a side-table over her never- ending accounts. " Don't look so astonished," Kath said in her gayest and sweetest manner. " I fished it out from one .of your drawers. You shouldn't have known anything about it, till it was done ; but I am afraid a little trying on is needful. Can you spare twenty minutes presently ? " 144 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " How kind of you," Katie said gratefully. "But, Kath, I meant to make it for myself, some time. I didn't think there was any hurry. Can't I help you now ? " " It will be finished by the time you come home. The fact is, Mrs. Prince has asked some of us to a musical At-Home one evening, the 2nd of next month, and my father particularly wishes you to go in this dress. She crowds her rooms, and there will be very good music, glees, most likely, and a first-rate violinist." " I wonder she thought of asking me." " Oh, it seems she knew your mother years and years ago, when they were both girls. My father wants you to make a good impression." " And are you going ? " " I'm not sure. Two of us are asked ; but it will depend on how Gracie is." " I shall stay with Gracie," Bessie said from her corner. " But father particularly says you are to go, Bessie. Mrs. Prince complained to him the other day that she never saw you now. And Winnie will be at home ; so, if Gracie is pretty well, you and I can both be away, perhaps." " I can't go, I don't think it right." Bessie spoke sharply, and Kath's eyebrows went up. KEPT APART. 145 " 1 shouldn't have thought it right to disobey my father," she said. " I must decide for myself in matters of right and wrong. I can't do what I know to be wrong," Bessie rejoined, in the same tone as before. " Somehow, modern martyrs are not so interest- ing as historical ones," said Kath, with a light laugh. " You don't understand anything about it, of course," said Elizabeth, flushing. " Bessie need not decide yet. I don't think we shall do any good by discussion," Grace interposed ; and the matter was allowed to drop. CHAPTER XVI. BY THE FIRESIDE. JHE Nutshell drawing-room, though small, was pretty in shape, and gracefully ar- ranged. It looked especially cosy on Christmas Eve, with a bright fire blazing, and a slender wreath of holly round the mirror over the mantelpiece, as well as round two or three picture- frames. Harold and Katie had pricked their fingers in company over that wreath. The afternoon proved dull and rainy, and curtains had to be drawn sooner than usual. Harold found himself able to come home for a whole week at Christmas, to his mother's no small pleasure. Katie certainly shared that pleasure, and the little "Nutshell" was made sunny by the addition of his cheery face and voice. It had been a busy day many Christmas gifts and remembrances being sent out by Mrs. Carringtou to friends and neighbours, rich and poor. A good 146 BY THE FIRESIDE. 147 many people came to see her also, dropping in irre- gularly, some on business, some only to express kind wishes. Business now was over, and calls seemed at an end. Mrs. Carrington sat on one side of the fire, knitting, and often looking at Katie, who sat on a stool at the other side. Katie was not doing anything. She appeared lost in thought; the fire- light dancing on her brown head, one cheek leaning on one hand, and a pair of serious eyes bent on the red coals. Nobody else was present, Harold having gone for a walk. Mrs. Carrington began to wonder whether a long letter from Katie's father, received some hours earlier, could have contained any worrying infor- mation. " Katie, you are intensely grave," she said at length. Katie looked up with a smile. " Am I ? I was only thinking." " What about ? Christmas ? " " No, I'm afraid not. Oh no only I was only thinking of of Bessie and other things." " I should hardly have described Bessie as a ' thing.' But let that pass. What has Bessie been doing ? " " It isn't exactly anything that she has done. I had a talk with her this morning. She told me 148 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. one thing I was very glad of. Mr. Hamilton has been twice to see Gracie, and he is going again. Did you know ? " for Mrs. Carrington showed no surprise. " Yes ; but I thought it best that you should hear it from themselves. Your aunt and Kath would not have admitted him did not, indeed but Gracie appealed to your uncle, saying she wished to see him, and he insisted that she should have her own way. Was that what you are so grave about ? " " Oh no. But Bessie doesn't think I am right to go to Mrs. Prince's musical evening on the 2nd. I told Bessie I felt sure my father would not wish me to stay away. Mrs. Prince knew my mother years ago, and Uncle Thornton particularly wants me to be there. Aunt Chattie, you don't think I shall be wrong to go ? " asked Katie, lifting an anxious face. Mrs. Carrington smiled. " My dear Katie, you are asking me to decide for you a question which you must of necessity decide for yourself." " But would you mind going if you were me?" ''If I were Katie Balfour, I should have to view the question from Katie's standpoint. Being Chattie Carrington, I have to view the question from Chattie BY THE FIRESIDE. 149 Carrington's standpoint. The answer need not be the same in the two cases." " Then I don't see how one is ever to know what to do," sighed Katie. " Here comes Harold. Shall we ask him ? " Katie assented shyly, and Mrs. Carrington entered into an explanation. " I was trying to make Katie see that, in these matters, we have generally to decide for ourselves," she said in conclusion. Harold had gone to a seat in front of the fire, whence he had a good view of Katie's brown head. Before responding, he took the poker in hand, and cleared the lower bars of ashes. " That's better. You looked dull when I came in. Well, Katie, has my mother made you see it ?" Katie looked doubtful. Harold glanced from her to his mother, and back again. " One command is clear, at all events," he said. " ' Love not the world.' The gist of the whole matter lies there in the heart's affections ; in the loving or the non-loving." " But what is really and truly meant by ' the world ? ' " asked Katie. " You might get various answers to that question," Harold said, smiling. " In an ordinary way, people count ' the world ' to mean all those who are a little 150 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. more gay than themselves all those who allow what they themselves do not allow." " Yes, I know. It is most dreadfully puzzling. If one could only be quite sure what the Bible exactly means by ' the world ! ' ' " I should say that first there is the simple and every-day meaning of this actual world in which we live the earth and the things contained in it. We are not to love this world as our home. It is not to be first in our hearts. As citizens of heaven, we are 'strangers and pilgrims' on earth, and the things of earth are to be secondary used and en- joyed, but not loved with any absorbing affection, and held at all times loosely." " Yes, and " " There is also the meaning of ' the world ' in the sense of all that is in opposition to God. ' Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world ... is not of the Father, but is of the world.' You see the true dividing-line. What- ever a man thinks, says, does, allows, is either ' of the Father ' or ' of the world.' " Katie said " Yes " slowly. " In the days when St. John wrote, the matter was comparatively an easy one. A sharp dividing- BY THE FIRESIDE. 151 line then existed between the persecuted Church and the fashionable heathen world. But things now are much more complicated and puzzling, for the Church glides into the world by gradual stages. So far as we have power to see, there is no sharp visible line of demarcation." " It is just all that which makes everything so dreadfully difficult," said Katie. " How is one ever to know what is really right ? " " First of all, make up your mind distinctly, that your decision is to be, not merely your own, but under the leading of the Holy Spirit. You must ask Divine guidance, and wait for it. Secondly, make up your mind no less distinctly that your decision is to be for yourself individually, not for your friends and acquaintances. For yourself you must decide for others you need not. You and I have each to draw a line' for ourselves .between things harmful and harmless guided Toy certain rules ; but we are not called upon to apply our rules to all around." Katie raised her face and asked, " What rules ? " There was a little pause, and then Harold said " '!F THY PIIESENCE GO NOT WITH us ' " Another break before he added, " When the answer can be, ' MY PRESENCE SHALL GO WITH THEE,' one need have no more fear." 152 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " And if one can't be sure ? " " Then be on the safe side and abstain." " What other rules ? " asked Katie. " There are minor tests to be applied, such as what is healthy for ourselves ? what does or does not hinder spiritual advance ? Also, we have to weigh the possible effect of our example on other people perhaps on weaker natures, led easily into what might be perilous for them. We need more of St. Paul's loving self-abnegation, and readiness to give up what is even harmless, rather than risk drawing another into danger. And I think it would be better if we were all less eager to go to the extreme verge of what is allowable. The safe side in doubtful matters is best. But one must always come back to one simple question, What does God will us to do ? If we are led by His Spirit, if we follow steadfastly in the steps of Christ, we shall not be allowed to yo far wrons." CHAPTER XVII. SOMETHING GONE WRONG. I was just looking for you," said Mrs. Balfour. "Yes, mother." Bessie had on hat and jacket, and carried a big pile of small books. " You are not going out ? " " I am going to look up some of my Sunday scholars. Mr. Hamilton told me - " " That can wait. I want you to sit with Grace this afternoon." Elizabeth's low forehead wrinkled. " But, mother - " " It is the first fine afternoon we have had for nearly a week, and Kath must come for a round of calls with me. It is of no use to look vexed, Bessie. I am getting terribly behindhand in my calls, and I do not mean to put them off any longer. You were out the whole of this morning surely that is enough." 153 154 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " I was only at the school. If I had known " "It was a pity you wasted your time, whether you knew or not," Mrs. Balfour said, arranging her mantle. " At all events, you cannot go this afternoon. Grace is not well enough to be left alone." " Why can't Winnie ? " " Winnie has her classes. Don't be absurd," said Mrs. Balfour, with a look which showed whence Elizabeth's frowns were inherited " German, and drawing as well." " Katie would come. I'll leave word on my way." " No, you will not, I choose you to stay at home yourself. Aunt Chattie has friends to afternoon tea, and she would not like Kate to be away. Besides, it is ridiculous. Why are you to be the only one never of any use in the house ? Now mind, I shall start in half-an-hour with Kath ; and you must be with Grace until we come home." Mrs. Balfour swept away, and Bessie stood still, vexed and unhappy. It was part of her character to dislike exceedingly having plans upset. Another afternoon would no doubt do equally well for visit- ing her Sunday scholars, but Bessie had set her heart on using this particular afternoon for the purpose; and she had no idea of yielding grace- SOMETHING GONE WRONG. 155 fully to her mother's wishes. Anybody could take care of Grace, she said to herself, and those children did need looking after. What a shame it was ! " Mother always liked to hinder anything good." Poor Bessie did not discriminate at all be- tween the doing of good and the pleasing of self, in such matters ; nor did she attempt to weigh the comparative claims upon her leisure of the cottage children and of her own suffering sister. " Hallo, Bessie ! you're looking most awfully glum." So spoke Winnie, dashing downstairs, with a big drawing portfolio -in her arms. She stood still to draw on a pair of gloves, gazing critically at Elizabeth. " What's gone wrong ? " " Mother wants me to stay with Grace." " I shouldn't have thought that such a tremen- dous penance. I wish mother would let me off my classes, and I'd stay with her gladly enough, poor dear." " You ! Yes, of course," Bessie said, with a touch of contempt for the said classes. " That is different, I have work that ought to be done." " So have I," responded Winnie. " Why not ask Katie to come ? She'd be delighted." " Mother said I must not," hovered on Bessie's lips ; but she did uot utter the words. Sharp temp- tation came over her, and she was taken unawares. 156 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " I don't see why she shouldn't only Aunt Chattie has somebody going to tea." " Oh, only the two old Miss Finches. Katie won't care about that. She'd like nothing better than to come ; and Gracie would much rather have her than you, if you are going to be grumpy all the time." " Mother said I was not to go out. I wish you would call at ' The Nutshell,' Winnie, and propose Katie's coming." " I shall tell her it will be a charity to you and Gracie too. You'd give anybody the dismals." Ordinarily, Bessie would have taken offence at Winnie's freedom of speech, but her mind was set now on one aim, and she scarcely took in the full meaning of the words uttered. Winnie hurried off, banging the door behind her ; and Elizabeth slowly removed hat and jacket, leaving them with her pile of books inside the dining-room. She hoped to be soon released. Grace was in the drawing-room, able to come downstairs still, though not so bright as a few days earlier. Kath was standing by her, dressed to go out, when Bessie appeared. " We shall not be so very long, Gracie," she said. "Everybody is sure to be out this fine afternoon. Mind you take care of yourself, darling ; and don't talk too much. SOMETHING GONE WRONG. 157 Your cough is so naughty to-day." Kath's fresh cheek was laid lovingly against Grace's pale brow. Kath was looking her prettiest, in a brown winter costume, with brown jacket and hat to match, relieved only by a little crimson neck-tie. " Kath, somebody will want to steal you," Grace said playfully. " Kath, are you ready ? " Mrs. Balfour swept imposingly forward, with a great deal of silk flounce and rustle. She had too much the air of a " special get-up " for the occasion. Kath followed her mother from the room, and Elizabeth stood listlessly about near a window, gazing out in persistent style. Gracie spoke once or twice, and received answers so short, that she made no more remarks. A quarter of an hour crept by in silence. " I can't imagine why Katie does not come," Bessie remarked then. " Were you expecting her ? " asked Grace. " Yes, at least I am not sure. I thought she might, if she knew Kath would be out." " I don't suppose she does know it," Grace said, somewhat wistfully. She, too, would have been glad to see Katie enter. Bessie looked out of the window again, and sighed audibly. " Do you want to go out, Bessie ?" asked Grace. 158 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " It can't be helped." " But it can. I don't in the least mind being alone, if you will just tell Ann to let in no callers, and to be sure to come directly if I ring." " Oh, no ; mother would be angry," said Bessie. " I don't see why she should. I really do not mind in the least, Bessie ; really I do not. Where do you want to go ? " " Oh, only to look up my Sunday scholars. Some of them have been so irregular lately, and Mr. Hamilton wants me to call on them all at their homes. And I don't see how I am to do it this week if not to-day. To-morrow and next day are quite full." " I suppose children are apt to be irregular at Christmas time," said Grace. " Yes ; only we can't pass it over. If mother had told me at breakfast time that she wanted me to stay in this afternoon, I might have seen some of them this morning. But she never tells one till the last moment." " I think you had better go now," said Grace. " I don't suppose I must," said Bessie reluctantly. " But if you don't mind being a few minutes alone, I could just go into the front room and watch for Katie. I sent a message by Winnie, so she is almost sure to come. One can't see down the SOMETHING GONE WRONG. 159 road here. You could ring the bell for me any moment." " Yes, certainly," Grace said, with kind cheerful- ness. "Don't hurry back. I am so sorry to be a clog on you." Bessie vanished, and Grace lay quietly, feeling, it must be confessed, a little lonely and sad. The sense of being a hindrance is always trying. " A few minutes " may mean little or much. They grew to the number of twenty, then thirty. Grace knew that she ought to take her medicine, and she touched the hand-bell gently, but no response came. A cord fastened to the downstairs bell-handle should have been placed within her reach, and had not been. Grace was scarcely up to the exertion of rising without a helping hand, this being one of her weak days. She closed her eyes and waited patiently. Suddenly the door burst open, and a maid rushed in. " Miss Bessie ! Miss Bessie ! Oh ! " and she stopped short, seeing only Grace. " I thought Miss Bessie was here." " Is anything wrong ? " asked Grace, startled into rapid heart-beating. " I'm afraid at least if I could see Miss Bessie," stammered the girl. Grace raised herself to a sitting position, and 160 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. spoke resolutely. " Tell me at once what has hap- pened." " I don't know exactly, miss," the girl faltered ; " only it's something gone wrong with the carriage, and Miss Kath's got hurt." CHAPTER XVIII. A CRASH. ie late again for her drawing," rs - Balfour, as the pony-carriage went swiftly down the valley. " It is not three o'clock yet. She will be almost in time," said Kath easily. " Not if - What is she going into ' The Nut- shell ' for ? I shall stop that." A word to the young coachman, and the pony- carriage drew sharply up, outside the gute, just as Winnie reached the door of Mrs. Carringtou's small house. " Winnie ! " In her mother's voice sounded a recall. " Yes, mother." " What are you wasting time here for ? Your class begins at three." " Bessie wanted me to ask - " " Come here. I can't speak so loud. Well, Bessie wanted what ? " 161 162 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " She thought Katie wouldn't mind going to take care of Gracie while you are out. Bessie wants to go somewhere." " Of course," Mrs. Balfour said shortly. " Bessie generally does want to go somewhere. Anything rather than sit down and be useful at home. I suppose she didn't think it worth her while to inform you that I had desired her to stay indoors, and that I had said Katie was not to take her place." Winnie's eyes opened considerably. " No, mother." "That is the state of the case. Now you may go straight to your class." Winnie hurried off without another word ; and at the same instant Mrs. Carrington appeared in the doorway, a light shawl over her head and shoulders. " Coming in, Kuth ? " "No, I have not time. We stopped for a word with Winnie." " I saw Winnie." " She is late for her drawing already, so I told her not to delay. Girls like any excuse for loitering," said Mrs. Balfour. "Kath and I have a round of calls to pay." " How is Grace ? " " Much the same as usual." " Not wanting Katie, in Kath's absence ? " A CRASH. 163 " No, thanks." " Because, if she did, Katie will be in soon, and I could send her." " No, thanks," repeated Mrs. Balfour, and the car- riage went on. " That is a good thing," Mrs. Balfour said. " We were only just in time. Katie alone with Grace all the afternoon is just what I don't wish." " Katie conies home in three days, mother." " Well, we shall have to keep a sharp look-out. Chattie might just as well have put off her other visitor for a few weeks ; but she won't, so there's an end of it. There never was anybody more obstinate than Chattie can be on occasions." " I suppose she is as anxious for Katie to be with Gracie as we are for her not to be," said Kath. " Very likely. I wish your father had not been so absurdly yielding about those visits of Mr. Hamilton. He has been twice in the course of the last week, as if once a week would not have been enough and too much ! " Kath was silent for a second or two. " Mother, I don't think really that Gracie has been the more depressed for seeing him," she said. "He has a cheerful manner, and doesn't go on too long. I would rather not have had him in and out so often ; but still, if Gracie wishes it so much " " That does not make a thing good for her," said 164 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Mrs. Balfour. " I believe she is perpetually think- ing now about dying. Nothing could be worse for a person in her state." Kath made no answer to this perhaps could not. A close watcher might have seen her clasp her hands tightly, half under the fur rug ; and her lips worked. "As for Bessie, I shall have to complain to your father. She thinks nothing of going against rny wishes. As if I had not spoken plainly enough ! I should have thought Oh ! " A scream broke from Mrs. Balfour. The little carriage had rounded a sharp curve, driving rapidly. Just beyond the curve, a large cart with two horses was advancing towards them at a quick pace, the heavy-faced countryman who held the reins keeping very much to the wrong side of the road. His wrong side was of course the right side to a vehicle coming the other way; and in an instant cart and carriage were vis-d-vis. A collision might perhaps have been avoided had the driver of the cart been a less stolid individual, or had Mrs. Bal four's young driver been a more expe- rienced " whip." As it was, the former did nothing but stare, and the latter lost his head. One strong pull to the right, and the accident might have been averted, though but by a hair's-breadth. No such A CRASH. 165 pull was even attempted. There was a momentary shriek from Mrs. Balfour a momentary start from Kath and the crash came. Crowds always collect like magic on such occa- sions. When the pony carriage appeared round the curve, not half-a-dozen people were in sight. Ten minutes later, when Katie, who had been execut- ing some little errand for Mrs. Carrington since luncheon, happened to draw near, a dense mass of lookers-on surrounded the scene of the disaster. Katie's first impulse was to avoid a crush by going round another way. Then she hesitated, and asked of a woman, " Has anything happened to anybody ? " " There's been a haccident, miss a carriage and cart run into each other," was the answer, " and two ladies half killed." "How dreadful!" Katie said involuntarily. "Are they in the crowd ? " The woman nodded assent. " I haven't got a sight of 'em yet," she said, " but I mean to, afore I go. It's Mr. Bal four's carriage a gentleman living up on the hill all a smash, and the pony killed." For one moment Katie felt sick with the shock. Then she rallied, and pressed steadily into the densest of the throng. " Let me pass, please ! You must, please, let me pass !" she reiterated again and r 66 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. again, sometimes adding, "They are my aunt and cousin ; please let me go on." The people yielded, even helping her forward. She reached at length the central space, round which stood a gazing circle. In that space lay the pony-carriage, a mere heaped-up wreck; and the pony on his side, motionless. The young coach- man was attending to the pony, moving himself with a decided limp, and assisted by one or two other men. Mrs. Balfour, seated on a low grass bank at one side of the road, was talking fast and crying in hysterical fashion ; and Kath, white as a sheet, lay, half on the ground, half against a kind-faced woman, who was trying to force some water between her teeth. " Aunt Euth ! " Katie said tremblingly, coming close, "Oh, Aunt Euth, are you and Kath much hurt?" Katie was rather astonished to find her hand clutched, and her appearance hailed with evident relief. " Hurt ? I should think so," sobbed Mrs. Balfour. " Oh dear ! I'm so glad somebody has come at last. Why isn't your uncle here ? He must know by this time. Such a frightful accident ! I shall never get over it. My leg is frightfully crushed I believe it is broken, but nobody will listen to ' Kath, as white as a sheet, lay on the ground." Page 166. A CRASH. 169 me. The cart wheels must have gone over it. And Kath looks stunned. I don't know what we are to do. I can't think why something isn't done. And the pony killed ! If only we could get home ! or even to ' The Nutshell.' If only that horrible crowd would stop staring at us. Kate, can't you do something ? Can't you send the people away ? Oh dear dear dear my poor leg ! I don't know how to bear it." Mrs. Balfour burst anew into violent sobbing, and a man standing by said respect- fully to Katie, " A cab '11 be here directly, miss." "Where is the cart that did the harm?" asked Katie, hardly knowing what she said. " It's gone on, miss, not much the worse, except that the horses were a good bit cut and scared. The carriage came off worst, being so small, and one of the shafts took the pony right in the chest. I'm afeared he's past doing anything for him. Farmer Hodges '11 have heavy damages to pay." " Did the wheels go over Mrs. Balfour ? " asked Katie, in a low voice. The man shook his head. He had not been on the spot till after the collision, but he didn't see how they could have done so, judging from the posi- tion in which the lady was found. Mrs. Balfour had been tossed clean out with the shock, while the younger lady had had to be extricated from 1 70 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. the ruins of the pony-carriage. "It's a wonder she wasn't killed outright on the spot/' he said significantly. " I doubt but she's much the worst of the two." Katie moved a few paces, and hung over Kath, uttering her name. Kath's eyes opened, and looked at her. " Kath, are you in pain ? " The " Yes " was faint. Then there came a low, " Don't tell Gracie ! " " No," Katie answered ; and then a wonder shot across her mind, would the news be kept from Grace? Only Bessie was at home; and Bessie had no presence of mind. A cab drove furiously up at this moment, dividing the crowd; and Mr. Balfour sprang out, in -a state of great excitement. He wanted to hear all about everything, and yet seemed capable of listening to nobody. Mrs. Balfour sobbed, and Mr. Balfour talked, and Kath lay again with shut eyes and white lips, till Katie put firm fingers on her uncle's arm, and drew his attention to Kath's state. " Could they not go home at once, and leave everything else till afterwards ? " Mr. Balfour submitted to the hint, and the ladies were helped in, Mrs. Balfour calling out at every movement. Kath made no sound. She only grew A CRASH. 171 whiter with each touch. Once inside the cab, she said imploringly to Katie, "Please conie too!" and Katie obeyed at once. Kath's one other re- mark through the drive was a whispered " I must walk into the house, not to startle Grade." CHAPTER XIX. AT "THE WALNUTS" AGAIN. i ESSIE had not meant to remain so long away from Grace; but it was a habit of hers to become very much absorbed in any present occupation, and to lose sight of the flight of time. She ought to have been well aware of this tendency, and to have kept guard over herself. Bessie, however, was not great in self-knowledge. Having watched for ten or fifteen minutes at the front window in vain, she began to fear that Katie was unable to come. It occurred to her that if she were to spend a little while over certain Clothing Club accounts, which were falling into arrears, the afternoon would not be quite " thrown away." It did not occur to her that the afternoon would be still less thrown away, if spent beside Grace's couch. Bessie no sooner thought of this, than she acted upon it. Before five minutes had passed, everything else was forgotten in the mysteries of columns which 172 AT "THE WALNUTS" AGAIN. 173 would not " add up right." Half-au-liour went swiftly, a, she added and re-added, calculated and re-calculated, rounding her shoulders and knitting her brows, with not a thought of the invalid in the drawing-room. " Miss Bessie ! Miss Bessie ! " outside the door did not reach her hearing. Had it done so, and had she responded promptly, Grace would have been spared a sharp shock. The speaker passed on, and Bessie still sat over her accounts, unconscious of neglected duty. "Miss Bessie! Miss Bessie!" The summons sounded again, hurried and alarmed, and in another voice. Bassie began to be vaguely aware that somebody wanted her, and she looked up slowly. " Seventy-two and six, seventy-eight ; and four, eighty-two ; and three, eighty-five ; eighty-five pence are seven shillings and " o "Miss Bessie, you're wanted, quick," Ann said, bursting into the room flurried and breathless. " Come to Miss Balfour, please, Miss." Bessie stood up with rather a startled air. " Grace ! Isn't she so well ? " " There's been an accident, Miss, and Miss Kath's hurt, they say; and that goose of a Jane couldn't find you, and went and told Miss Balfour straight out ; and she do look bad." 174 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Bessie hurried into the drawing-room hardly understanding, yet dismayed. Grace was sitting up on her couch, with widely-opened blue eyes, and breathing in struggling gasps. Bessie looked help- lessly at Ann, and Ann caught up a bottle of salts, bringing it to Grace ; but it was put aside. "No, no, Kath Kath," panted Grace. "Ob, tell me ! " " I don't know much indeed, Miss," said Ann, frightened at Grace's face. " I shouldn't wonder if o it isn't much after all. Them stories always do grow so. Only the carriage ran into a cart, and the pony's killed, and Missus and Miss Kath's thrown out. But we'll hear more soon. Master's gone off to see about it all; and I shouldn't be surprised if it was just to turn out to be nothing I shouldn't, really. Couldn't you lie down and keep still, Miss, and maybe you'll feel better ? " " Yes, do, Gracie," added her sister. " I don't believe it means anything, after all. So stupid of Jane to come and frighten you like this. And I was close at hand." " She says she couldn't find you anywhere, Miss Bessie," rather resentfully observed Ann, indignant for Grace, who was a universal favourite. " Couldn't you lie down, Miss Balfour ? " " I can't just yet," Grace said gently, trying to AT "THE WALNUTS" AGAIN. 175 smile, as the hard gasps for breath went on. " When this is better. Please find out more." Ann went at once, and Bessie stood by her sister's side, feeling very helpless, not at all realising how serious a matter was such a shock for one in Grace's state, but aware that she would herself be blamed, and therefore sufficiently uncomfortable. " I suppose I must have been longer in the next room than I meant to be," she said. ' " I really didn't think time had gone so fast. I was just doing one or two accounts." " I can't talk. Kath ! " was the only answer. " If I could know " " I don't believe it is anything. As Ann says, an accident is always exaggerated. Most likely the pony is bruised, and nobody else hurt." "Please, hush, I want to listen," entreated Grace. Bessie obeyed, feeling slightly injured; and no further sound broke the stillness, except Grace's quick panting. The palpitation had become a little less violent, and she was able presently to lean back on her pillows, with eyes and ears intent. Ann did not return, and Bessie sat silently beside the couch. Minutes followed minutes in slow succession, till the front door could be heard to open. " Bessie, go ! " Grace whispered. M 1 76 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " I don't think I ought to leave you." " Yes, please, go quickly. I can't wait." Bessie hesitated, then stood up, and moved towards the door, wondering whether it would be right to obey. But the door opened from outside, and Katie came in. " Gracie " " Oh, Katie, tell me aU ! " Katie was terrified at Grace's changed look, but she did not show what she felt. She spoke quietly, holding Grace's hand " Darling, you mustn't be so frightened. The car- riage ran into a cart, and was broken up. Aunt Euth's leg is very much bruised, I think, but that seems all; and Kath was faint at first. Yes, she is hurt a little, I think, and we want her to lie down in the spare room and keep quiet till Mr. "Willoughby comes ; but she says she must come in for a moment to give you a kiss." "Don't let her. I'll go to Kath," said Grace. " Oh, no, I am sure she would not like that." The door opened again, and Kath entered slowly, yet with a smile on her white lips. "Kath! Kath, you are not fit for it," gasped poor Grace. " How could they let you ! " " Gracie ! " The one startled sound broke from Kath, as her eyes fell on her sister, and then again AT "THE WALNUTS" AGAIX. 177 she looked resolutely bright. "Of course I have come. I ani not to be so easily kept away." " And you are not hurt, Kath, not really hurt ? " entreated Grace. " Nothing much," replied Kath cheerfully. " They say I am to keep quiet for a few hours ; and Katie will take my place with you meantime. I am going to lie down on the spare-room sofa. You won't be worried, now you have seen me." " If only you didn't look so pale." Kath gave a little laugh. " One can't go through o o o o a break-down like that, and not be the least bruised and shaken. It wouldn't be reasonable. Where am I hurt ? Oh, I fancy I am a degree black and blue here and there, not at all wonderful if it is so! Now, dearie, I am going to obey orders, and have a rest, just for an hour or two. Katie will come back to you directly." She bent to kiss Grace, twice, thrice ; .and then walked away, slow in movement still. Grace made no effort to detain her. At the door Kath glanced back, smiling, " Good-bye, Grace." Grace's answering look was strangely sweet. The distressed excitement had vanished since Kath's appearance. "Good-bye," Kath repeated, gazing wistfully. "Good-bye, sweet Kath," Grace answered. Katie followed her cousin from the room ; and 1 78 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. outside the door Kath turned to her a face of anguish. " Kath, dear, you are in pain. Take my arm." " Yes. It isn't only that ! " No other word passed Kath's lips, till she had reached the spare-room sofa; and then she broke into one passionate moan, " It will kill her ! " " No," Katie began, only to be interrupted. " It will kill her ! Could you not see ? Mr. "Willoughby has so dreaded any shock, and this this she was told so suddenly no warning. Ann says so. Bessie away, and she alone ! So mad of me ever to leave her." "If I had but known, I would have come to Gracie," Katie said sorrowfully, unknowing how the words added to her cousin's self-reproach. " Don't mind me ; never mind about me," urged Kath. " Go back to Gracie, and don't leave her. Don't trust to Bessie. Nobody else knows how to do anything. And you do love Gracie ; I know you do. Never mind about me. I shall be better by- and-by. If only it didn't turn me so queer all over, I could stay with Gracie, and I should mind nothing then. I'll just lie here till Mr. Willoughby comes. Oh, go to Gracie, and don't let her be worried, or think me ill." Katie did as she was desired, and within five AT "THE WALNUTS" AGAIN, 179 minutes Mr. Willoughby arrived. He spent a con- siderable time with Katli, and bestowed shorter attention upon Mrs. Balfour ; after which he came to Grace ; and Katie knew in a moment that he thought ill of her. " You are not to make yourself unhappy, by fancying things worse than they are," he said seriously to Grace, after asking a few questions. " Your cousin will look after you to-night in Kath's place. No, I can't let Kath do anything to-night. She must keep from any exertion for two or three days. I don't think she is so much hurt as one might have expected, but the bruises are severe ; and there seems to be something of a strain. I have ordered her to lie still. Winnie and one of the maids will help her to bed presently. Bessie is busy with Mrs. Balfour, nothing wrong there, except a rather painful leg. Now, Miss Balfour, I should like to give you one or two directions." " Kate is a beautiful nurse," Grace said, as he offered her his hand. She seemed reassured, and smiled into his face. Mr. Willoughby was an old family friend, and had known the girls from child- hood. " That is right. Of course you don't mean to lie awake, or to keep her awake ; but still, I am going to "ive her a little hint or two beforehand. When LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. she comes back you are to be wheeled iuto your room, and to go to bed, as quietly as possible." Outside the door he turned to Katie, and said in a significant low tone, " She is worse." "Much worse?" Katie asked anxiously, as they neared the hall door. " Yes. Nothing was more to be feared for her than such a shock. The effects may pass off; I cannot tell yet. I shall be here again to-morrow early; meantime, if there should be any cliange, send for me at once no matter what hour." CHAPTER XX. PASSING A WA Y. I think I must be stronger than was J 113 * 1 a ^ktle stronger," said Grace. She spoke wistfully, lying in bed, with Katie by her side. " Do you, darling ? " " I don't want to make too much of it ; but I don't think I could have borne bein: startled quite so well a few weeks back. I mean I should most likely have been the worse for it afterwards." " I think we shall have to take extra care of you now, for a day or two." " Perhaps. I don't mind that. But it would be nice to feel that I was getting on a little, perhaps. It isn't wrong to wish to get well, is it, Katie ? " " No," Katie answered at once. " Im a sure it is not wrong, darling. Only I suppose we ought to be willing to go when Jesus calls." " Yes, willing. I think I am willing," Grace 1 82 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. said calmly. "I don't feel afraid now, as I did. He docs love me." Katie could only whisper " I am so glad." " I have wanted to tell you often. Everything is so different now. Kath will never let me speak of Him poor sweet Kath. She can't bear to think of losing me. But it would be happier for her by-and-by, perhaps, if she could let me speak a little now. I have often longed for you, Katie." There was an echo of past loneliness in Grace's sigh. All Kath's loving tendance had not sufficed. One need had been unmet. " I mustn't let you talk too much." "'No, not too much ; but a little will not hurt. I have had nobody to understand me lately, and you do so well understand. Katie, dear, it would be very nice to get well again ; but, if I don't, you will know that I am not afraid now. And I suppose that, when Jesus calls, no one who loves Him can be really sorry to go." " Oh, no ; impossible ! " Katie said earnestly. " I like that," responded Grace. " I like you to be so sure. It sounds real. And He is very real to me now more every day, I think. It must be so wonderful to see Him face to face ! I think one ought to be able to wish for that most more than anything in this world." PASSING AWAY. 183 "If we loved Him as He loved us!" whispered Katie. " Yes, I suppose it is more love that we want. If I am pretty well to-morrow, I should so like to have Mr. Hamilton asked to come for Holy Communion. Do you think he would ? He did once, a fortnight ago, and I wanted you to be here too ; but it could not be managed." " If you are well enough in the morning. Try to rest now, Gracie darling." Grace smiled and shut her eyes, lying for awhile very quietly. Nearly half-an-hour passed before she stirred suddenly, coughed, and tried to raise her- self in the bed, with a hurried, "Katie!" "Do you want anything, dear?" asked Katie. "I think I think not so well! Katie help I can't breathe ! " Katie flew to ring the bell, and was back imme- diately, holding up the struggling girl. Grace had never in her presence had so terrible an attack of breathlessness, and instead of yielding to the usual remedies, it grew worse. Bessie and Ann were speedily in the room, and Mr. Balfour himself hur- ried off for the doctor. Before Mr. Willoughby could arrive, deadly fainting had set in. When he came, it was to remain long. One remedy after another was tried, and tried in vain. There seemed to be no rallying power. 1 84 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. For a while every precaution was taken to hide from Kath the state in which Grace lay. But the spare room was too near, and all sounds could not be hushed. Kath's inquiries grew so urgent that evasion became impossible, and Winnie at length had to admit that Grace was worse. All Mr. Wil- loughby'a authority could hnrdly restrain her then from coming to Grace's side. " I can't stay away from her how can I ? " Kath cried passionately. " I am always with Gracie when she is ill. Why should I not go ? It would not hurt me." " That is the question," Mr. Willoughby said. He had been brought in to reason with her, Winnie's efforts at restraint proving ineffectual. "A little over-exertion now might make a serious matter of what would not otherwise be serious." " I don't mind. If only I can be with Gracie now, I am willing to pay for it afterwards." "But it is not a question of payment on your part only. You have to think of others," said Mr. Willoughby. " And there is another point to be considered. If you went to Grace, you could not stay with her. You are not in a state for sitting or standing about." " I could lie on the sofa " " And let Grace have the anxiety " PASSING A IV AY. 185 Kath could oiily sob. " Oh, it is so hard so hard to be kept away. Will Gracie be better soon ? Is she worse than usual ? " " I am afraid it is a worse attack than she has had yet; but there may be an improvement presently. Kath, you could do no good by coming," said Mr. Willoughby. " You shall know the truth. Grace's state is very critical, and the slightest agitation might turn the scale, not in her favour. I think a rally is by no means impossible, even now; but that is all I can say. I cannot give you leave to go to her at present, for her sake even more than for your own. She would distress herself about you." Kath hid her face. " You understand me. At present I dare not risk it. But if there should be a marked change for the worse " You would call me then ? " muttered Kath. " Yes; if necessary, you should be carried in." " Promise," she said, with fast-falling tears. " So far as lies in my power, I promise." And he went. Kath uttered not another word, but only lay, looking, listening, waiting. Not many in the house could sleep that night. . Towards three o'clock there seemed to be an improvement. The breathlessness lessened, and Gracie was more like her usual self. Katie felt 186 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. surprised that Mr. Willoughby did not look better satisfied. Instead of going home, he only proposed to have an hour's rest on the dining-room sofa. Mr. Balfour, who had been in and out constantly, went back to his wife. Winnie and Ann both went to bed. Kath was told of the change for the better, and fell into a doze, a smile on her lips. Katie and Bessie watched still beside Grace. Neither of the two would confess to weariness ; and, indeed, there was no one to take their place. Grace seemed drowsy now, and disinclined to pay attention to anything; but after some repose she opened her eyes and said softly, " If I could have lived to serve Him ! " Katie was leaning over her instantly. "To serve Jesus, darling ! " " Yes ; He died for me, and I have never done anything for Him." " I think you have borne pain patiently for Him. That isn't nothing." " It seems so little. And all those years before ! I would work now for Him if I could." " But He understands that you can't." " Oh, I know. So loving and kind, isn't He ? " The large blue eyes looked earnestly from one to the other. " Tell Kath of Jesus what He is. I shall want PASSING AWAY. 187 her there, too. Tell her He is so satisfying. Nothing worth having doing living for except Jesus ! " " Gracie, you do believe in Him ? " asked Bessie anxiously. Grade's smile was exceedingly sweet. " He has shown Himself to me," she said. " Bessie dear, try try to honour Him more. You don't mind my saying just that." " No ; but I do try to honour Him," replied Bessie. Gracie's eyes were bent on her. " Yes, I am sure. Only, perhaps in little every- day things perhaps there might be more of Christ not self and not judging others." " I will try," Bessie said, quite humbly. There came a slight pause, during which Katie watched Grace intensely. Was there something unusual in her look ? " If 1 had but known sooner ! I do wonder now that I haven't thought more cared more only for Christ ! . . . One can't do much ever. But what one can . . ." " Gracie, you are tired," said Katie. Another sweet calm smile answered her. " Won't you rest now ? " " Yes I think now. Good-uumt." And the 1 88 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. blue eyes closed, with one short sigh. The still- ness following seemed strange. No breath broke it. " Bessie, Bessie ; call Mr. Willoughby." Katie stayed herself, alone beside the silent figure lying there asleep. " Our friend Lazarus sleepeth," the Master Him- self said of one whom He loved. And that was the manner of Grace's sleep. Only she would not awake again to this life before the Eesurrection Day. When Mr. Willoughby came in, one look at Gracie told him, and one look at him told Katie what had come upon them all. And the two words which broke from Mr. Willoughby broke at the same instant from Katie" Poor Kath ! " CHAPTER XXL KATH'S LOSS. 'S doze lasted long, broken only by pain of moving. She stirred uneasily often, and muttered now and then; but though perhaps never sound asleep, she was never quite awake, till after early dawn. She did not know that Katie was lying on the sofa. Katie had come by her own wish, and Mr. Willoughby would not refuse consent. Bessie had broken down, and could not be depended on for composure. Winnie was asleep, and it had been decided that she should be allowed to sleep on until morning. Mr. and Mrs. Balfour of course knew the sad blow which had fallen upon them. But there seemed no one fitted to undertake poor Kath ; and Katie, in her own grief, felt that her best comfort would be in tending Kath " for Grade's sake." Yet how Katie dreaded the moment when she would have to tell Kath, no one knew but herself. 189 190 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. When Kath at length stirred and looked up, Katie was beside her, in her dressing-gown, with unbound hair, pale cheeks, and tearful eyes. " Katie ! you should not have left Gracie," Kath said reproachfully, sitting up in bed. " Please go back to her directly. Just tell me how she is now, and then don't wait a moment. I shall do alone, I assure you." " How are you this morning ? " faltered Katie. " I don't know. About the same, I suppose. I am dreadfully stiff all over. But I mean to get up this morning, and go to Gracie. Mr. Willoughby shall not keep me from her any longer. Just tell me how she is, and go. Don't wait. She will want you." " No, Kath not now." The tone, more than the words, said much. A thrill, as if from an electric shock, passed through Kath. " If Gracie is worse Mr. Willoughby promised promised to call me." " Dear Kath, we could not. He wasn't even in the room. It carne so suddenly there was no time. Only Bessie and I were with her." Kath shuddered. " You don't mean ? Katie ! " she said hoarsely. Katie's sobs were the only answer. She had kept up well hitherto, but the long strain of the night had been too much for her. KATH'S LOSS. 191 " You don't mean ! tell me- Then, when Katie would have taken her hand and tried to speak comfortingly, she snatched the hand away, as if a touch were unbearable, and buried her face in the pillows. Silence for a while might be best, and Katie would not break it. She sat waiting, mastering her own distress with difficulty. No word or sound came from Kath, only now and then a writhing movement. " Kath, dear, wouldn't you like me to tell you more ? " Katie asked at length. No response was given, and she waited again, till Kath turned up a white fixed face, and said passionately, " He promised to call me ! " " No one knew no one could tell," said Katie. " It came almost in a moment." Then, without asking leave anew, she gave a few particulars, telling of Grace's calm sweetness, and of her message to Kath, and of the sudden peaceful end. Katie's tears fell fast, and her voice faltered often, while Kath's face was again hidden. " Mr. Willoughby seemed to be so thankful that there was not more suffering," Katie added. " He said there might have been, it might have been so different. Kath, darling, it must be such rest to her, after all she has borne. Don't you think we ought to be a little glad for her sake, even if " N 1 92 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " You ! " Kath broke out wildly. Poor Katie had made the very common mistake of offering too soon words which might, perhaps, later on, have brought a comforting thought, but which as yet could only rasp the new wound. " You ! what is it to you ? Only a cousin ! and only with her a few weeks ! She was mine ! my darling my own all I care for in the world ! Oh, I can't bear it ! " and Kath burst into an agony of weeping. " Grade ! Gracie ! Gracie ! I can't live without her ! I can't ! Oh, go away, leave me alone ! She was nothing to you." Poor Katie's loving heart was sorely wounded, though she could well excuse the bitterness of Kath's first grief. She sat patiently on, making no rejoinder, till Kath so vehemently insisted on soli- tude, that Katie had no choice but to obey. She begged Bessie to take her place, and then went to her own room to wash and dress, feeling very sad and weary, but determined to be in readiness to give help when it might be needed. A long letter from her father by the early post was an unspeakable comfort to Katie. In losing Gracie, she had lost the only one in the house from whom she had received unvarying kindness, and ou whose affection she could really depend; and a sense of loneliness pressed upon her. While KATH'S LOSS. 193 sorrowing with all around, she was counted by them as only an outsider ; but every word of Mr. Balfour's letter breathed tenderness and sympathy. "Dear, dear father!" Katie murmured. "If I haven't anybody else in the world, I have him ! " But it was not Katie's way to spend time in thinking about herself. Breakfast proved a mournful meal; only Mr. Balfour and Winnie being present, beside herself. Both of them were much over- come. " Ah, Katie ! sad, isn't it ? my poor girl ! " Mr. Balfour said brokenly. " And you were with her to the last, we shall not forget that ! " The next moment, to her surprise, Winnie was clinging to her, sobbing violently ; and Katie found attempts at comfort by no means spurned in that direction. A little later, Katie went back to Kath, and found her lying with closed eyes, refusing to speak or to be spoken to. Mr. Willoughby coming in, could obtain little or no response. " Keep her quiet," was his brief order. " It is a severe shock ; and she is not up to much." The Old Year went out, and the New Year came in, gravely and sadly for the Balfours. Katie found herself able to be increasingly helpful. With the exception of Kath, all in the house more or less turned to her in their trouble. It seemed as if all she had been able to do for Gracie towards 194 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. the last, had drawn her into closer contact with the family as a whole. Mr. Balfour liked to have Katie to walk with him; and Mrs. Balfour liked to have Katie to sit with her. The latter, though almost recovered, counted herself a semi-invalid still, and made much use of her niece, to Katie's great pleasure. Bessie often talked to Katie of Grace ; and "Winnie, from that first morning, clung to her strangely, perhaps finding in Katie just the warmth of affection which she had never till now felt the want of, but which no one else in the house could or would give to her. Only Kath held aloof. Only Kath was cold and ungracious. It might have been partly from sorrow, and partly from illness ; but Katie could not be sure. For Kath was ill yet ; she seemed too hopeless and miserable to get well. The strain was better, and the bruises disappearing ; but Kath made no effort to be up and about again. Mr. "Willoughby grew really anxious about her, as time went on. Her one great interest in life gone, she appeared to care for nothing else. He feared that she might sink into a condition of permanent ill-health, from sheer lack of energy to get well. It did sometimes seem strange to Katie that Bessie should not suffer more from self-reproach. There could be no doubt that the shock which had brought on Grade's last and fatal attack was, partly KATH'S LOSS. 195 at least, due to Bessie's thoughtlessness, Bessie's wilfuluess. But Bessie was one of those people who do not suffer greatly from self-blame. She had by nature a complacent belief in her own actions. If not always intrinsically right, they had, at all events, "seemed right at the time." This was enough for Bessie's peace of mind. This, however, was not enough for Kath. Much of remorse mingled with the pain of loss. If Bessie by nature would blame herself too little, Kath by nature would blame herself too much. She had never forgotten the slight gust of temper which had, perhaps, in some measure, caused Gracie's severe attack of hemorrhage several weeks earlier, had never forgiven herself for it. And she could not now forget, or forgive herself for having left Gracie alone, still more for having left her in Bessie's charge, and for not having summoned Katie. But while haunted day and night by these recollections, Kath would not speak of them. Pride sealed her lips. Kath might perhaps have been more ready to turn to Katie, but for another ingredient in her distress. Though on the one hand fully aware of Katie's usefulness in the sick-room, and really grate- ful for it, on the other hand, Kath could not forgive Katie for having, at the last, filled her place with 196 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Gracie. Moreover, she felt that in one sense, Katie had been actually more to Gracie than she herself could have been. This was the bitterest drop of all. Kath made no mention of it ; but the thought rankled. And thus it came to pass that, as weeks went on, Katie strove still to win her way into Kath's love and confidence, and strove, or seemed to strive, in vain. CHAPTER XXII. A QUESTION. THERE goes a 'king's ransom!' Whew!" shivered Harold, as he dashed through "The Nutshell" garden, and into the small house, just escaping a renewed rush of March wind and March dust. " It is cold, and no mistake ! Well, mother dear, pretty well?" He stooped to kiss her affectionately; then pulled off his coat, and took refuge near the fire. " Haven't felt such an icy blast all the winter. I suppose this is a parting flap from the coat-tails of King Frost, before he takes his final departure. By-the-bye, I saw Kath just now, driving with Aunt Ruth. So my uncle has found a pony at last ? " "Mr. Willoughby ordered daily drives for Kath, and there was no more delay." " I wonder they venture to take her out on a day like this. She looked shrivelled up, notwithstanding 110 end of furs." 198 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " She gets so depressed indoors, aud yet seems to have no energy for walking." " Poor Kath ! She and Gracie always seemed to be one. Well, I don't like her look now," Harold said gravely. " It was a good deal worse six weeks ago. But she doesn't get on as she should. There seems a resolute unhappiness about her, a determination to care for nothing in life acrain." o *j " Somebody else doesn't look unhappy," Harold said, as a bright girlish face flashed along the road. " Mother ! I never saw Katie with such a colour. Not coming in ! Why didn't she give one look in this direction ? " "Katie seems to be enjoying the March breezes," said Mrs. Carrington. "Norfolk has inured her to cold blasts. Why couldn't she come in ? " repeated Harold. " I dare say she is on an errand for somebody. They are learning how to make use of Katie at ' The Walnuts.' Well, it will not be much longer," mused Mrs. Carrington. " Harold, iny dear, I have a letter this morning, and there is an enclosure for you." " From Uncle Stephen ? " and Harold's hand was extended. " Yes. You may read mine as well as yours." The clock ticked for a while in uninterrupted A QUESTION. 199 silence. Harold was entirely absorbed iii the two letters ; and Mrs. Carrington was entirely absorbed in watching him. A smile grew upon her face, as the healthy glow in his cheeks deepened. " Satisfied, my boy ? " she asked at length. " No, mother," Harold said, looking up. " Not till I have Katie's own answer." He put both sheets on her knee, adding, " Eead mine too," and she obeyed. " It is a very hearty consent," she said quietly, at the end. " I never knew Stephen Balfour express himself more warmly. But, as he says, he is taking you on trust. It is natural that he should wish you to wait till he comes home." " Mother, I don't think I can." " Three weeks only ! " "Three or four. I don't think I can wait." Harold spoke steadily, but his mother could see a brown hand clenched till it grew white. " I can't tell you what the suspense is to me. I have no peace day or night, thinking of her, and if No, I don't think I can wait. I must put it to the test soon, and learn the best or worst. I am not like most people, you know. Perhaps it is impatience ; but I can't work well under suspense. And Uncle Stephen does not forbid me to speak to Katie. He takes me on trust, he says, from what you and 200 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Katie say, as well as my own letter. What Katie says, mother, so she must have spoken kindly of me. But that may mean nothing, and she is so simple, I don't know what to make of her manner. Only I do not think I can wait much longer." " You always were an impatient boy," Mrs. Car- rington answered, letting her hand rest on his arm. She had made no attempt to interrupt him earlier. " You might be wiser now to wait awhile, for your own sake, I mean, apart from Stephen's wish. But it is true that he leaves you free ; and I cannot, of course, decide for you. How would it do if I asked Katie to spend the next three weeks with us ? " " Mother, will you ? " Mrs. Carrington smiled at his eagerness. Before she could speak again, there was a light tap at the door, and a bright face peeped in. " May I come in, Aunt Chattie ? " " Come in, my dear." "Oh, I didn't know Harold was here!" Katie gave him her hand demurely, and then turned to Mrs. Carrington for a second kiss, her eyes dancing with delight. " Aunt Chattie, oh, such good news ! " she cried. " I have a letter from my father this morning ; and he is coming home in three weeks. And he is so A QUESTION. 201 much stronger, quite a different man, he says ; and his cough really gone. To think of only three weeks more ! " " I have had a letter from him too, Katie, and he tells me the same good news." " And you are glad ! Oh, I know you and Harold are glad." "I ought to be, but I don't feel at all glad," Harold responded gravely. " It may be nothing to you to leave us all, Katie ; but it is by no means nothing for us to lose you." Was the tone one of real pain ? Katie could not make out. She looked at him wistfully, and the shadow on his face grew lighter. " The time hasn't gone so very slowly, child, after all," said Mrs. Carrington. " Hasn't it ? I don't know. Yes, I think it has," said Katie. " So much has happened, and I have seen so much more of people and things. I feel years older than last autumn. But I wouldn't undo it, if I could now. I shouldn't like not to know you all, and not to have known dear sweet Gracie." " Norfolk life will seem strange again, after Pens- hurst," said Harold. " Oh, lovely ! " Katie answered, and again his face fell. Then she stopped, and seemed to be consider- LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. ing. " Yes, because it will be home. And having dear father again ; yes, that will be lovely. But I am almost afraid Eckham will seem just a little dull and lonely at first. I've no friends there, and I shall want you all so much." Unconsciously or instinctively her eyes went to Harold. Mother and son both marked this, and Harold's spirits rose. It was not at all Mrs. Carrington's wish that matters should come to a point just then. She was very doubtful as to I^atie's state of feeling about her son, and she counted that delay would be wisest, as she had said, for Harold's own sake. But at this moment the maid came to the door, and said, " Please 'm, Mrs. Smart wants to see you, in a ter- rible hurry. Her little boy's gone and scalded himself, and she don't know what to do." Mrs. Carrington was accustomed to such appeals, and she went at once, though wishing that the little boy might have chosen some other time for the feat. Mrs. Smart's cottage lay only a minute's walk dis- tant, and the description of the child's condition was such as to make her hurriedly slip on warm wraps, and set off with the distressed mother. Once there, Mrs. Carrington could not quickly get away again. A QUESTION. 203 So it came to pass that Katie was left with Harold for a good half-hour ; she waiting for Mrs. Carring- ton's return, not even knowing her to have left the house; he, bent upon making the most of this unex- pected opportunity. "Well, Katie, my dear, I hope you have not thought me very rude," Mrs. Carrington said, re- appearing at length in bonnet and cloak. " I found there was nothing for it but to see Tommy Smart myself, and to persuade the mother to call in Mr. Willoughby. Badly scalded, poor little boy. What have you two been talking about ? " She paused a moment, looking from one to the other. Harold's face was glowing with hopefulness ; and Katie's was crimson. "So that is it, children," she said slowly. " Harold ! Harold ! you wilful boy. You never had a grain of patience. Well, Katie ? " Katie gave one shy look up ; then flung herself into a pair of motherly clasping arms. " Why, Katie ! Harold, you have spoken too hastily, and frightened the little woman." " No, mother, it's not that," Harold answered. " Then what is it ? " And from the face hidden on her shoulder came a smothered sound of " Father." 204 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " Ah, yes," said Mrs. Carrington. " But Harold has told you that your father consents." " Oh, yes, only only " " Only you think he would be lonely. Time enough for such considerations," said Mrs. Carrington, stroking the smooth head. " One step is all that can be taken at a time, Katie. And there may be a long waiting season before you both. If your father would consent and he would not to marriage on a hundred and thirty pounds a year, Harold's mother could not." That brought Katie to an upright position. " Oh ! as if " she said. Mrs. Carringtou laughed, and made her sit down. " Yes, yes, I understand," she said. " But you see it is no immediate question of having to leave your father." " If I know that Katie is mine, I can wait," said Harold. " Till a living drops from somewhere," added Mrs. Carrington. " And when it does, why should not our home be Uncle Stephen's too ? " " True, why not ? " echoed Mrs. Carrington. " Norfolk may not always suit his health, perhaps." Then she asked softly, " Is that the only barrier in A QUESTION. 205 the way of Katie's answer such an answer as Harold and I wish for ? " Another pause, and Harold seemed almost to hold his breath. Katie lifted her eyes, looked at him, and said, "Yes." CHAPTER XXIII. THE LAST THREE WEEKS. [AS Katie come home yet ? " asked Mr. Bal- four. hurrying into the drawing-room of " The Walnuts." Mrs. Balfour was seated before a blazing fire, with feet propped on the fender, reading a novel. Kath lay upon one of the sofas, not that used always by Gracie during her illness, listless, white-cheeked, and unoccupied. Winnie bent over a small drawing at a side-table. Nobody else happened to be present. " She looked in just for a moment. She's upstairs in her room," said Winnie. "I've a piece of news for you all, about Katie. Guess what it is ! " Mr. Balfour advanced to the middle of the room, and stood there, beaming with the importance of his secret. " It's no news," said Mrs. Balfour. " What ! did Katie tell you herself ? " 206 THE LAST THREE WEEKS. 207 " Of course. She had the letter this morning. I don't half know what we shall do without her now, for my part," said Mrs. Balfour. "Whatever her faults may be, she's always ready to do anything for anybody ; and that's more than I can say for my girls." " Mother ! " protested Winnie, from her corner. " Oh, you are talking of Stephen coming back in three weeks. But I don't mean that. I have another piece of news." "What is it, father?" asked Winnie, and even Kath glanced up with languid interest. " Guess." "Anything to do with ' The Nutshell ' ? " Mr. Balfour nodded. "Harold has come in for a fortune," hazarded Winnie. Mr. Balfour seemed very much amused. "I wish he had. Couldn't be anything more appropriate at the present moment. But no doubt he counts what he has come in for, to be worth any number of fortunes." "Anybody engaged to be married? Harold!" cried Winnie, clapping her hands. "And who's she ? Father, you don't mean to say it's Katie ? " " Just that exactly," said Mr. Balfour. Mrs. Balfour was frowning. "Absurd choice of o 208 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Harold's," she said. " Why, Katie has not a penny, and will not have. What can Chattie be thinking of ? Stephen will refuse his consent." "Stephen has given his consent. Harold wrote and asked for it, before speaking. Of course they have no idea of immediate marriage. Katie could not leave her father at present, and Harold's income is not sufficient. However, they are both young, and can well afford to wait for a few years." " Absurd ! " murmured Mrs. Balfour. "Well, I don't see that, if it makes them both happy. Chattie wants to have Katie at 'The Nut- shell' till her father comes home, quite natural, too. I said we should be very sorry to lose her, but she, of course, must go." "When?" "To-morrow, I believe, unless Katie prefers to wait until next day. I declare, I shall miss her face immensely. She always looks happy, and never seems to be out of temper." "I'm going upstairs to Katie," announced Winnie, laying down her pencil, and springing to her feet. But at the same moment Kath was rising slowly. "No, Winnie, by-and-by, please," she said. "I should like to be the first." Winnie immediately sat down again, not a little THE LAST THREE WEEKS. 209 astonished, but with no thought of resistance. Kath was always allowed now to have her own way. A soft tap presently sounded at Katie's door. The softer footfall preceding had been unheard within. Katie said, "Come in!" but Kath's sad pale face was the very last that she would have expected to see. " Kath ! " escaped her lips, in a tone of surprise ; and then a bright colour rushed into her cheeks. " Oh, come," she said, as Kath seemed to hesitate on the threshold. " Come, Kath dear." " May I ? " Kath asked. " Yes, please do. But this is too cold for you." " Oh no ; it doesn't matter." Kath shut the door, and came slowly across the room. Katie was standing by the bed. Kath sat down upon it, drew Katie down beside her, and said, " I am glad " Voice failed there. She put one arm round Katie, and held her fast, trembling. " Kath, 'you are cold," Katie said at first. " Oh, don't, Kath darling, please don't." " Katie, I don't know how to lose you." The words seemed wrung from her. Katie heard in amazement. " Why, Kath, I thought you didn't care for me." " Oh, how could One couldn't help loving 210 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. you ! No, it hasn't been that. I have only been miserable. And it will be worse now, now you are going. The last of her my own, own Gracie! and no hope no seeing her again. I don't know how to bear it. Nothing to live for no looking forward I don't know how to bear it. I have been so unkind to you, but I thought you understood. It was only all misery. And now you going too." Incoherently as the sobbing sentences dropped from her, Katie could not but gather the general meaning. " Would you rather I should stay here till father comes home, and not go to ' The Nutshell ' ? " "No," Kath said at once, speaking more calmly. "It would not be right. Harold has a right to expect " "Harold will be there for a week," said Katie, flushing. " Or perhaps ten days. Shall I come back after that ? " " Could you really ? Would you ? " "Yes." Then, after a short silence, Kath whispered, "I am glad, I am indeed. I ought to congratulate you properly." " I don't want that," Katie answered. " Yes, I know you are glad you will be all of you. And my father " THE LAST THREE WEEKS. 211 " Harold is really good. You and he will just suit one another." " Yes. Oh, I know ! Harold is " Katie was smiling, yet her voice faltered. "I think I am silly. It seems as if I couldn't quite believe it all yet." " You deserve to be happy," murmured Kath. " Oil no ; don't say that, please. It only makes me feel how little you really know me. Kath, if only I could see you a little brighter before leaving Pen?- hurst, I should be so glad." " I can't pretend to be bright," said Kath de- jectedly. " There's nothing now that I care for, since " " But, Kath dear, I don't think Gracie would wish you to give up all your life to sorrowing for her. I am sure she would not." "We were always together. Nothing is worth doing without her." "Yes, I know; I suppose one must have that feeling at first. Only perhaps one oughtn't to give way to it ; don't you think so 1 And there are things worth doing." Kath's lips moved. " You know what Gracie wished so much at last, that she had lived more for God." Kath only sighed. " If everything else in life were taken away, one 212 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. might still have that," continued Katie. "I mean one might have the love of God, and the Presence of Christ, and His service " "I did my very best to keep Gracie back from God," said Kath, in a low voice. " Yes ; but you weren't able. How thankful you must be now," Katie answered. " Jesus was seeking her, and no one could hinder His finding. Kath darling, don't you think that perhaps He is seeking you now ? " Kath burst into fresh tears. " If I could care for anything, I might care for that," she said. "I do think you could help me, if you were to be here still part of the time. But please don't tell anybody what we have been saying." Katie did not " tell anybody." She only arranged quietly to spend the latter half of the remaining three weeks at " The Walnuts." She was surprised and touched to hear the many regrets expressed on all sides about her coming departure. The time sped quickly. The first ten days, spent at "The Nutshell," were full of brightness ; and the last ten days, spent at " The Walnuts," were full of usefulness. Katie's "Life in a Nutshell'' whether walnut or filbert was almost at an end. But before that end came, she had the joy of seeing Kath really happier, really less sad and hopeless. THE LAST THREE WEEKS. 213 Life to Katie herself looked anything but sad or hopeless. She would rather have described it as all sunshine. Yet her feelings were necessarily mixed in kind. Between the prospect of seeing her father once more, and the prospect of parting from Harold ; between the pleasure of going back to her old home, and the pain of quitting Penshurst; Katie did at times find herself under a considerable strain. But hers was a placid nature, and she possessed a happy faculty for looking at the bright side of things. CHAPTEE XXIV. TOGETHER. CROWD of expectant people stood upon the pier, and a steamer witli crowded deck was drawing near. Small waves splashed among the piles below, and sparkled in the sunlight. A pleasanter day could hardly have been chosen for Mr. Balfour's return to England. Katie was there, among the waiting throng, stand- ing between Mrs. Carrington and Harold. They had brought her to welcome her father, unknown to him. The cost was theirs. Katie herself could not have ventured to incur it. "I can't see him yet. He must be on board," she said repeatedly. " Patience, Katie ! All in good time," said Mrs. Carrington. " But if anything should have kept him ! Oh, I do hope he is there, all right." The big steamer was by this time alongside, and TOGETHER. 215 gangways were flung across the space between. A stream of passengers poured landward. No signs, however, were to be seen of Mr. Balfour. Katie's bright face grew dull. " Harold, he can't have come. What can be the reason ? " she asked. "Curious!" Harold remarked at length. "We must wait a few minutes longer, Katie, till I can get on board and inquire. Something may have occurred to make him delay." " But he has not written. Nothing would make him put off, just at last, except illness. My father is not given to changing his plans." " Don't be too sure, Katie. Nobody knows yet," said Mrs. Carrington. Still the disembarking stream of passengers poured on, blocking the gangways. Patience had to be exercised. Harold drew Katie's hand within his arm, and gave her a comforting look. "Don't be afraid, my Katie. It will all come right," he said. " Only if anything should have happened to him!" Almost all the passengers had landed, when suddenly a well-known venerable figure appeared on the deck, walking towards the nearest way of exit, now for a brief space almost clear. LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " Father ! oh ! " Katie joyously exclaimed. She drew her hand from Harold's arm, and ran impetuously forward to join him. In a moment she was close to the gangway, and at the same instant two big men, carrying huge packages, dashed over from the vessel, seeing little where they went, and unconscious of Katie's vicinity. With a little cry, Katie started back, avoiding thus what might have been a really violent blow, but she did not escape. The foremost man came into collision with her, though not severely ; and the boards were slippery with salt water. Katie could never afterwards remember whether she only slid, or was actually thrown to the very edge of the pier, close beside the heaving gangway, where nothing existed to keep her from going down into the deep water, which splashed to and fro between the steamer and the piles. She only knew that there she found herself, kneeling, clutching convulsively at something, one foot actually over the abyss. " Katie," Mrs. Carrington cried in terror, and "Oh, my Katie!" sounded from the deck. But almost before Katie had realised her danger, Harold's two hands were grasping her firmly. " Katie, are you hurt ? How was it ? How could you ? " Harold asked hoarsely, and she saw him to TOGETHER. 217 be blanched and shaken, so that he could hardly speak, even while he drew her back from the edge, lifting her from the kneeling position. " I don't know. It doesn'c matter. I'm all right," Katie answered, speaking firmly. She was not even pale or frightened herself ; the peril had been so instantaneously at an end, also her mind was full of Mr. Balf our. " I'm all right, indeed ; please let ine go. Father is there." " I can't trust you alone." Harold spoke huskily still, and held her fast. "Wait one minute. Mr. Balfour is coining." " My dear Katie, you have alarmed us fearfully. How did it happen ? " asked Mrs. Carrington's voice by her side. But Katie only looked up, and with an eager, " father ! " was in his arms, regardless of spectators. " Are you glad to be back, father ? Oh, it is delight- ful," she murmured. No response came at first, and then only, " I think we had better get out of this crowd." Katie looked up in his face, astonished to find him pallid and hardly able to stand. " Why, father," she said involuntarily, " father, dear, I thought you were so much better." "You have upset us all, Katie," Mrs. Carrington said in a low voice. " Hush, don't spenk of it yer. 218 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. Harold will see to the luggage, and we must get your father to the hotel. Don't you understand ? " still lower, in answer to Katie's look. "My dear, I thought for a moment that nothing could stop your going over, and he saw it too." " Was I so near ? I didn't know," Katie answered gravely. She slipped an arm through Mr. Balfour's, and helped his faltering steps. They lef c the pier behind, crossed the road, and entered the hotel. A glass of water had to be procured before Mr. Balfour could manage to mount the stairs, but once in an easy chair, in the little private sitting-room already engaged, he seemed better. Katie was kneeling by his side, with her head on his shoulder, when Harold came in. " All right and comfortable now ? " he asked in a cheery voice. " Harold has his natural colour again," Mrs. Car- rington remarked. ' " Katie seems to have been less alarmed than anybody." " I suppose I had no time to think. Father, I am so disappointed not to see you really well, as I expected." "I have been remarkably well. Not robust, the doctors tell me I must not look for that, but well. This is nothing, Katie, only the shock of TOGETHER. 219 seeing I don't think I can speak of it yet," he said, with an effort. " Don't, father, please. It is over now, and there's no need. But what do the doctors think about Norfolk for you ? " Mr. Balfour made no immediate answer. Some- thing in Harold's manner of standing beside Katie had attracted his attention. He glanced from one to the other questioningly, and Harold said, "Yes, I have spoken. Was it wrong ? I could not wait." "This boy of mine has always been of an im- patient nature, Stephen," said Mrs. Carrington. Mr. Balfour smiled, and said only, " Well ! " "Katie will put up with me," Harold said, as Katie hid her face. " Perhaps Katie thinks there isn't so very much to put up with ! eh, darling ? " Mr. Balfour took Harold's strong young hand into his own faded one, and brought it close to Katie's. " Are you sorry ? " she whispered. " I mean, do you mind ? " " So far as I yet know Harold, I am only glad. I know Harold's mother, if not himself. And it is a great comfort to me to feel that when I am taken, my child will not be alone in the world." 220 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. " That will not be, I hope, for many a long year," Mrs. Carrington said, as Katie murmured a depre- cating, " Please, don't." " It may not be ; but see the uncertainty of life, even for the young." He was thinking of the scene on the pier. " And if for the young, how much more for the old ! " "Young people are exposed to certain dangers from their own impetuosity, which old people do not incur," Mrs. Carrington observed rather drily. " But I should like you to know more of my boy, as soon as possible. Will you let him pay you a visit at Eckham in the autumn for a month or so, when he takes his holiday ? " " If we are there," Mr. Balfour said, with a curious look. "You think of going abroad again next winter? " inquired Harold. " But my holiday will be in September." " Yes. I did not mean exactly that. The fact is, I do not expect to be much longer at Eck- ham. I have had the offer of a living in Devon- shire." " Oh ! " Katie hardly knew whether to be glad or sorry. "The very climate for you, Stephen," said Mrs. Carrington. TOGETHER. "So my friend told ine. I met an old school friend on board the steamer, coming home, a kind- hearted good fellow. He has the gift of this living, and it has fallen vacant. The stipend is about fifty pounds more than my present stipend, and the air of Devonshire is likely to suit my chest. The village is small, so I need not fear the work being too heavy. It seems just the place for me; indeed, I have already accepted the offer. I must run down for a look at the spot before going home." "And you will be able to stay in Devonshire through the winter ? " asked Katie anxiously. " I hope so, my dear. Until " " Until Katie and I can offer you a home with us," Harold suggested. Mr. Balfour shook his head. " Indeed, indeed, father, Harold always says that. We could not let you live alone," Katie pleaded. " Well, dear child, we shall see. No need to attempt looking forward. Harold has to wait a while for a living, and you and I have to settle down in a new nest a mercifully provided home, according to our need," Mr. Balfour added musingly. " How often one finds it so ! Why do we ever disquiet 222 LIFE IN A NUTSHELL. ourselves about the future? It is in a loving Father's hands." " You and I have learnt that lesson, Stephen," Mrs. Carrington said. Katie thought that she had learned it too. THE END. J8 .*.! A iv* a $*l "*r& ^s ^ _iSOJJTJRN REGIONAL UBflARY PAOLO r^fra* fff^ ' jf Jf ' ?m f s V^^ \Ati_t ^^v^p^^" -^tf^a?^^' ^^^ ^^fir:^.- -VS5S^4 11