THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 DAVIS 
 
 IN MEMORY OF 
 
 HARRY MONTEFIORE GOLDBERG 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 Josa Goldberg 
 
V 
 
SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA 
 
 
 BY 
 
 
 
 SOPHIE SPARKLE. 
 
 ILLUSTRATED. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 AMERICAN NEWS COMPANY, 
 
 1873. 
 
Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1873, by 
 
 THE AMERICAN NEWS COMPANY, 
 in the Office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PASK 
 
 I. MANAGING A HUSBAND, . .5 
 
 II. THE RIVER, . 13 
 
 III. ON THE PIAZZA, . 17 
 
 IV. JANUARY AND MAY, . 25 
 
 V. MAKING HAY, . . . . 30 
 
 VI. THE WIDOW DASH, .... 36 
 
 VII. LE BEAU MONDE, . . 43 
 
 VIII. THE MASQUERADE, . 5 
 
 IX. FORTUNE-HUNTERS, . 57 
 
 X. "THE GOOD OLD TIMES," . . 65 
 
 XI. IN THE PARK, . 73 
 
 XII. THE GEYSER SPRING, . . 79 
 
 XIII. AFTER DINNER, . 85 
 
 Xiv. ADONIS AT THE BALL, . 9 1 
 
 XV. Miss AIRS, ... .97 
 
 XVI. THE " SARATOGA DROOP," ... 105 
 
 XVII. A RAINY DAY, . . m 
 
 XVIII. OLD BACHELORS, . .117 
 
 XIX. THE BELLES, 125 
 
 XX. SNUBBING, ...... i35 
 
 XXI. AMONG THE LIONS, . . . .146 
 
 XXII. Buzz, *53 
 
 XXIIL FLIRTATIONS, . . . . . . .160 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 XXIV. WIDOWERS, 167 
 
 XXV. A BACHELOR'S TRUNKS, . . .174 
 XXVI. THE TOURNAMENT, . .180 
 
 XXVII. THE RACES, 186 
 
 XXVIII. PLYING THE NEEDLE, . 193 
 
 XXIX. HINTS TO HUSBANDS, . . . .201 
 
 XXX. ALL ABOUT BONNETS, . . . 210 
 
 XXXI. A NOVEL DREAM, . . . . . 225 
 
 XXXII. SUNDAY AT THE SPRINGS, . . 232 
 
 XXXIIL A DUEL, .238 
 
 XXXIV. AMONG THE LILIES, . . . . 245 
 XXXV. THE FLUSH OF THE LEAF, . . .253 
 
 XXXVI. DEPARTURES, 261 
 
 XXXVII. THE ADIRONDACK^, 269 
 
 XXXVIII. A MORNING RAMBLE, . . . 275 
 
 XXXIX. ADIEUX, . 282 
 
 XL. LAKE GEORGE, . . . . .287 
 XLL FORT TICONDEROGA, . . . .297 
 
 XLII. NIAGARA FALLS, 306 
 
 XLIIL BRASS BUTTONS, . . . . 318 
 
 XLIV." EYES RIGHT," . . . . . 330 
 
 XLV. FAREWELL ! 334 
 
LIST OF ILLUSTRATIONS. 
 
 THE WIDOW DASH, J. Hyde. 
 
 THE GEYSER SPRING, . . D. C. Hitchcock. 
 
 ARRAYED FOR THE BALL, R. Lusk. 
 
 Miss AIRS, Matt Morgan. 
 
 MAKING REPAIRS, R. Lusk. 
 
 THE HATHORN SPRING, . . . D. C. Hitchcock. 
 THE BACHELOR'S TRUNK, .... R. Liisk. 
 
 AMONG THE LILIES, R. Lusk. 
 
 THE EXCELSIOR SPRING, . . . D. C. Hitchcock. 
 
" Sparkling and bright, in liquid light, 
 Does the wine our goblets gleam in ; 
 With hue as red as the rosy bed 
 Which a bee would choose to dream in. 
 
 Then drink to-night, with hearts as light, 
 
 To loves as gay as fleeting, 
 
 As bubbles that swim, in the beakers' brim, 
 
 And part on the lips when meeting." 
 
 CHARLES FENNO HOFFMAN. 
 
SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 I. 
 
 MANAGING A HTTSBAND. 
 
 IF there be one thing more exasperating than 
 another in this wicked world, it is surely an ob 
 durate man ! And the worst of it is, that most men 
 are painfully afflicted in this manner. For six mor 
 tal weeks have Madge and I besieged papa to allow 
 us to spend the summer season at that Mecca of 
 fashionable pilgrims Saratoga. But the dear man, 
 from some unaccountable reason, absolutely refused. 
 Nevertheless, being mere women, we never take 
 "no" for an answer, and set about making the 
 necessary preparations, such as ordering new dresses, 
 and reconsidering old ones, while mamma under 
 took the task of managing her refractory lord and 
 master ! 
 
 Husbands usually require but a little skilful, 
 feminine manoeuvring to make them walk in the 
 desired path, and if ever a woman had the art of 
 
6 SPARKLES FROM SAEATOGA. 
 
 managing a husband at the tip of her fingers' ends, 
 or, still more effectually, at the tip of her tongue, 
 that woman is certainly mamma. Madge and I 
 had the utmost faith in her ultimate success ; and in 
 proof that we were right in placing a high estimate 
 upon her virtues as a coaxer, here we are fairly in 
 Saratoga at last, with Aunt Prim for a duenna. 
 It may be whispered that we would have preferred 
 mamma in this interesting rdle, since she has a way 
 of viewing things blandly through her dear old 
 spectacles, while Aunt Prim sees the world quite 
 differently with her eye-glasses. A peep through 
 Aunt Prim's gold-rimmed orbs appears to have the 
 effect of casting a little cloud over everything ; of 
 sprinkling all the sweet roses of life with drops of 
 vinegar-dew. 
 
 This is Madge's first season out, and Aunt Prim 
 will have enough to do in polishing down her 
 boarding-school ways, and preventing her from 
 shocking the fastidious world with her outrt extrav 
 agances. Madge evidently has no genius for fash 
 ionable conventialities ; she opens her black eyes wide 
 at everything new or strange ; claps her little hands 
 with delight when she is pleased ; is a little thun- 
 
 > 
 
 der-storm of the blackest variety when she is angry ; 
 and, moreover, says just what she thinks to every- 
 
MANAGING A HUSBAND. 7 
 
 body; which latter folly would surely amaze the 
 philosopher who said that " words are intended to 
 conceal our thoughts." 
 
 As for myself, two years in society are quite 
 sufficient to cure one of all such nonsense, and I 
 feel prepared to meet any event with the utmost 
 sang froid. In fact, there is nothing like sailing 
 through life with a placid air; nothing like pre 
 serving one's equanimity despite the fact that the 
 world turns upside down every twenty-four hours. 
 Aunt Prim herself is not more staid in her deport 
 ment than her " paragon niece," as she is pleased 
 to call me. 
 
 And now that we are safely ensconced in a 
 charming room which overlooks Congress Spring 
 and its shady park, we have time to reflect upon 
 the little journey we have just made, and to laugh 
 again over its amusing incidents. 
 
 There was the boat crowded with pleasure-seek 
 ers; there was the pleasant-looking matron with 
 five fair daughters; and there the haughty belle 
 who smiled a sweet adieu to an admirer who re 
 quested her to think of him while she was gone, 
 and, when the poor fellow had made his last bow, 
 she turned to her companion -with her beautiful lip 
 curled in scorn, and exclaimed: "Think of him! 
 
8 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 I guess I have something else to think of. What 
 conceited beings these men are ! " 
 
 There also was the elderly gentleman with two 
 daughters, who created much amusement by his odd 
 comments and remarks. The daughters were fash 
 ionably dressed girls, evidently just from board 
 ing-school. Papa was just as evidently not accus 
 tomed to the polite usages of society, but had the 
 air and look of a sea-faring man with plenty of 
 money. 
 
 " I declare," said this pater familias, " you gals 
 are more trouble to me than all my money. Just as 
 if York wasn't good enough for you ; but you must 
 go philandering off to Saratogy, just to make a show 
 of those f rillamagigs you've wasted a month over. 
 I tell you what, you don't fool your pa with this 
 kind of nonsense much longer." 
 
 A short pause. 
 
 " Sarah Jane, where's your gloves ? " 
 
 " In my pocket," replies Sarah Jane. 
 
 " That's the best place for 'em, and Polly, if you'd 
 just put those rats and mice you've tacked on to 
 your head in the same place, you'd show that you 
 had inherited some common -sense at least from 
 me." 
 
 As might be expected, poor Polly's cheeks were 
 
MANAGING A HUSBAND. 9 
 
 suffused with painful blushes at this unexpected 
 disclosure of the falseness of her puffs and curls. 
 
 But young people nowadays are not overblessed 
 with reverence, and so Polly soon recovered from 
 her confusion, and gently replied : 
 
 "Now, pa, if you'd take out those teeth you 
 bought at Dr. Hadden's last week, you wouldn't 
 talk Q plainly" 
 
 Pa's vivacity subsided at this, and he buried 
 himself in his evening paper. 
 
 Aunt Prim managed to secure a state-room, while 
 Madge and I were obliged to content ourselves with 
 berths in the ladies' cabin. 
 
 There were three in a tier one for Madge, one 
 for myself, and the third, which was the upper 
 berth, was allotted to an enormously stout lady. 
 The stout lady looked at her check which bore the 
 number 25, and then at the berth which bore the 
 same number, with evident dismay. 
 
 How was she to reach that elevated couch ? It 
 was too much to ask of any mortal of her ample 
 proportions ! 
 
 " Yours truly " having secured the berth below, 
 looked at the stout lady also in a state of dismay. 
 Good Heavens ! Timber and upholstery are not 
 
 equal to everything, and what if that berth should 
 1* 
 
10 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 give way beneath the fat lady, and bury "yours 
 truly " in oblivion ? 
 
 The mere thought of such a mishap caused a cold 
 shudder. The only resource was to offer the fat 
 lady the lower couch, which she gratefully accepted. 
 
 Now I cannot see why people object to upper 
 berths. My advice is, to always get as* near heaven 
 as possible in this wicked world. In the upper berth 
 you have at least five feet of breathing room above 
 you, and can lie for hours looking dreamily out of 
 the open window, admiring the ever-changing pan 
 orama of Nature, while your neighbor below, shut up 
 in a good-sized coffin with a side plank taken out 
 for air, becomes a prey to doleful dreams. Swiftly 
 we glided past the Highlands covered with dark 
 verdure, and looking weird and solemn in the 
 moonlight. Past little towns and rural cities, built 
 at the base of a mountain, or high up on some hill 
 side. Past quaint old castles, which carried one's 
 thoughts far off to the poetic banks of the Rhine. 
 Past many a spot renowned in legendary and his 
 toric lore on, still on, we glided up the noble 
 Hudson, which hurried by us to mingle its placid 
 waters with the distant sea. 
 
 Every blue wave laughed and twinkled in the 
 moonlight, sporting with the silvery rays like a gay 
 
MANAGING A nUSBAND. 11 
 
 coquette with her lover. One by one the stars came 
 out, but growing pale with envy before the glorious 
 lustre of the full moon, they drew a misty veil of 
 clouds over their faces, and left sweet Luna the 
 undisputed Queen of Night. 
 
 The principal solace amid the discomforts of 
 travelling, is to laugh at the lugubrious faces and 
 woeful complaints of others. 
 
 It is so refreshing to one's tired senses, when 
 roused from your dreams at the first peep of day by 
 the bustle which announces that you have reached 
 port, to emerge from your state-room with a discon 
 solate air, supremely miserable with your eyes only 
 half open and your head dizzy with the motion of 
 the boat it is so refreshing to look around you and 
 remark that everybody else seems to be equally 
 afflicted with yourself. One may soon forget his own 
 troubles in making himself merry over others. Per 
 haps the most amusing affair of the morning was that 
 of the stout old lady who had just seated herself 
 at the breakfast table, and was about to partake of 
 the savory viands before her, when lo ! the thrilling 
 cry of " all aboard " startled her sensitive nerves. 
 
 With a most pathetic look of despair she seized 
 her umbrella, little bag and big bag, lap-dog, and 
 sundry other parcels by far too numerous to men- 
 
12 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 tion, and hastened as fast as her physical capacity 
 would allow her to catch the train. 
 
 From the expression of that matron's face one 
 might well have inferred that the little mishap of 
 a " slip 'twixt the cup and the lip " is one of the 
 most trying grievances in the world. 
 
 And so at last we reached the goal of our summer 
 dreams Saratoga. Sitting on the piazza and watch 
 ing the throng that comes and goes, catching glimpses 
 of well-remembered faces, clasping the hands of old 
 friends lost sight of since last summer ; all this is 
 like the re-perusal of some beautiful half -forgotten 
 story, or the realization of a fascinating dream. 
 
 The streets are gay with brilliant equipages and 
 crowds of well-dressed people, who, having nothing 
 else to do, laugh, and chat, and spend their money 
 in the pleasantest manner possible. 
 
 The shoddyites have nearly all disappeared. One 
 hears no longer the rustle of pretentious silks and 
 satins at the breakfast table, nor are weary eyes 
 diverted from the morning papers by the glitter of 
 diamond necklaces and bracelets. Only the flashing 
 of bright eyes is allowable at so early an hour in 
 the morning that is, if eyes can be bright that 
 know no sleep until the " wee sma' hours " of the 
 night have come. 
 
THE RIVER. 
 
 THE one thing about Saratoga which would doubt 
 less prove the greatest attraction to a New Yorker, 
 is that early in the season it is delightfully cool. 
 Too cool perhaps for those delicate individuals who 
 cannot endure a whiff of unadulterated fresh air 
 rheumatic old bachelors and fidgety old maids who 
 aspire to romance upon the piazzas these lovely star 
 lit nights, and yet who are forever haunted with 
 a secret dread of the night air ! 
 
 Even Miss Flimsy does not care to crush or hide 
 her airy costume beneath a heavy wrap and so she 
 forsakes the piazza at an early hour for the gay 
 ball-room, where one may whirl for hours in the 
 giddy dance without expiring from the heat. 
 
 Perhaps we are not yet quite ready for Saratoga 
 for to enjoy a season at the Springs there is some 
 thing more to be done than wardrobes to be replen 
 ished and trunks filled to their utmost. People who 
 come here should be prepared to catch the inspi- 
 
14: SPAKKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 ration of the hour ; free from all care, light-hearted, 
 willing and eager to enjoy life to sip the foam 
 when at its whitest to catch the bubble while yet 
 the rainbow glistens upon it. 
 
 A heart that is ready for all this is ready for 
 Saratoga. To be moved and swayed by the subtle 
 charm which wooes the world hither; to feel the 
 Circean spell which throws a rose-tinted enchant 
 ment over all ; to look upon life as a butterfly with 
 golden wings, and to ask for no more this is to 
 enjoy life at a watering-place. 
 
 But the spell of the river, up which we sailed on 
 our way hitherward, the beautiful, blue, flowing 
 river, is yet upon us. The river, with its deep 
 waters flowing onward to the sea, dark and dreamy 
 with the night shadows upon it, and here and there 
 twinkling with the many-colored watch lights, and 
 the golden lamps which glitter like beacons on 
 the shore ; the river, with its long line of towering 
 hills and mountains holding endless communion with 
 the skies ; its stern and frowning walls of rock ; its 
 groves and woods of ever-living green ; its quiet 
 towns lying low in the valleys; its picturesque 
 homes nestled like eagles' nests far up amid the 
 mountain's crags, and all these slumbering so peace 
 fully, all wrapped in quiet dreams, half in the 
 
THE KIVEE. 15 
 
 shadow and half reflecting the light of the quiet 
 stars which seem so very far away. 
 
 Can the Ehine, the far-famed, beautiful Ehine, 
 with its crumbling castles, its pictured scenes of 
 beauty, and its time-worn legends, more fully en 
 thrall the heart and hold it captive with a wizard's 
 spell than our own noble and picturesque Hudson ? 
 And thus, perhaps, it is the spell of the beautiful 
 river which makes our first impression of Saratoga 
 this summer very much like that of quaffing a 
 glass of champagne after all the sparkle has 
 departed. 
 
 Something of the old charm seems lacking ; some 
 thing of the old fascination gone. 
 
 Where are those who have made this fashionable 
 resort so delightful in past seasons ? 
 
 Where the bright eyes, the laughing lips, the inter 
 esting faces which once to look upon was to have a 
 sweet memory of forever the beautiful, the witty, 
 and the gay, who last summer thronged the parlors 
 and piazzas of Saratoga ? 
 
 Ah, those we learn to love and those who love us 
 glide, one by one, away from our sight, and new 
 friendships are forever taking the places of the old, 
 like the restless waves of the sea, which come and 
 go, and are changing forever. 
 
16 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 One peculiarity of Saratoga friendship is that 
 amid the brilliancy of a watering-place life, new 
 friendships catch the sun of love quicker and 
 strengthen into warm attachments sooner than in 
 the quieter, more shaded walks of existence. 
 
 But the people, ah! the people! To one who 
 has few friends, there cannot be a lonelier place than 
 this. To drift about, a solitary bark amid a sea 
 of strange faces, is to know the bitterness of solitude. 
 
 In a^l nature there is no solitude, no feeling of 
 desolation like that which sweeps over the lonely 
 heart amid a throng of strangers. 
 
 The birds, the trees, the flowers, valleys and moun 
 tains, all assimilate, all harmonize with the heart of 
 man and no such feeling of loneliness steals into 
 the soul as that which often comes to the solitary 
 being in the great throng. 
 
 Life at Saratoga may well be compared to a bub 
 ble a beautiful bubble with all the bright colors of 
 the rainbow shifting over it ; a bubble radiant with 
 light and beauty, but a hollow bubble after all. 
 
 And how the world, like a little child at play, 
 loves to amuse itself with bubbles with hollow 
 bubbles that burst in a flash of time, and leave an 
 empty void in the place but a moment before 
 radiant with sunlight ! 
 
III. 
 
 ON THE PIAZZA. 
 
 Music in the morning inspires one to fresh activ 
 ity; it 'incites to new energy; to noble impulses, 
 and to lofty aims. If one could be always awak 
 ened from slumber by sounds sweet or melodious, 
 the day would dawn so beautifully and so gently 
 that care and grief would hardly venture to 
 intrude; and if they did, could be easily ban 
 ished. 
 
 Breakfast is over; and the band is playing in 
 spiring music under the trees in the grove. The 
 devotees of the various springs have returned from 
 their daily pilgrimage, apparently refreshed and 
 invigorated, for faith is able to work wonders ; 
 young belles appear in the most charming toilettes, 
 and their bright eyes sparkle as mischievously under 
 their coquettish little hats, or dart shy glances at 
 you from beneath their pink or blue parasols, as 
 though they knew nothing of late hours or the glare 
 of gaslight. 
 
 Young gentlemen, faultlessly attired, with fresh 
 
18 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 rose-buds in their buttonholes, and perhaps faded 
 ones upon their breasts, renew the whispered compli 
 ments they uttered the evening before beneath the 
 stars, or when whirling through the dance, under 
 the glittering lights of the ball-room. Elderly ladies, 
 with their faces discreetly veiled, and always car 
 rying the inevitable morning parasol, chat pleasant 
 ly together, and make caustic remarks upon the scan 
 dalous flirtations of the previous evening, which had 
 been indulged in by the frivolous young maidens of 
 the day, and mourn over the degeneracy of the age. 
 
 But is not love and romance both beautiful and 
 allowable in youth ? 
 
 And is old age itself quite exempt from the influ 
 ence of the sly god Cupid ? 
 
 And is the mask of youth which old age endeavors 
 in these " degenerate days " to wear, either beautiful 
 or wise ? 
 
 If the fashionable young ladies of the present time 
 would have shocked their feminine ancestors of lono* 
 
 to 
 
 ago by their worldly ways, I am sure some of the 
 fashionable old ladies of to-day would have fright 
 ened them out of their senses ! not by their natural, 
 but by their artificial, comeliness ! 
 
 This is one of the lessons one cannot help learning 
 upon the piazza. 
 
ON THE PIAZZA. 19 
 
 Another reflection is, that the evening is kindlier 
 to poor humanity than the morning. 
 
 Looking well by gaslight, and looking well in the 
 broad, unsparing light of day, are two different 
 
 things. 
 
 O 
 
 But a rose is always a rose ! whether looking up 
 to catch the warm beams of the morning sun, and 
 drinking in its fervid rays with joy, or sleeping 
 placidly in the moonlight, witjj, the glittering dew- 
 drops on its bosom. 
 
 So beauty is always beautiful, and gathers new 
 charms from every hour. 
 
 But when Nature relies upon art to make her ador 
 able, she must choose her lights and shadows.. And 
 the evening is kindlier than the morning. 
 
 The music is certainly charming full of pathos 
 and sentiment now inspiring one's heart with glad 
 ness, and now soothing the soul with sweet melan 
 choly. 
 
 Madge says that she would like to dance the polka- 
 redowa with Fitz Hugh over the smooth walks of 
 the grove, if no one were looking on. But I should 
 object to that proceeding. So would Aunt Prim. 
 That Madge is an incorrigible girl ! 
 
 Little children, with their golden locks flying un 
 fettered in the breeze, go skipping over the piazza, 
 
20 SPAEKLES FEOM SAEATOGA. 
 
 keeping time to the inspiring strains of the music 
 with their tiny feet. 
 
 Young belles, arm in arm, walk up and down 
 together, rehearsing the conquests of the last even 
 ing, and ransacking their dear little brains for new 
 ideas concerning the toilettes of to-night. People 
 who imagine that fashionable young ladies have 
 nothing to do, are decidedly mistaken. Their pro 
 fession is heart breaking, and they pursue it with the 
 most indomitable zeal. Young gentlemen, I find, 
 are also given to the same pursuit. We have a New 
 York exquisite here just now, who changes his ap 
 parel five times a day ! Just think of the precious 
 hours this would-be dazzling youth spends before the 
 mirror ! His wardrobe is inexhaustible, and com 
 prises everything from black velvet suits to those of 
 spotless white linen. 
 
 I think he is in love. I think so every time I see 
 him promenading this piazza, twirling his fanciful 
 walking-stick in his small, white finders. But I am 
 
 O / O 
 
 quite sure that this young man is hopelessly in love 
 with himself. 
 
 Fitz Hugh declares that he was sent up here by 
 some enterprising tailor's establishment. 
 
 One day's study of human nature at Saratoga can- 
 

 ON THE PIAZZA. 21 
 
 not fail to be Loth instructive and amusing,- and that 
 study may all be pursued on the piazza. 
 
 In the morning, between ten and twelve o'clock, 
 it is thronged with people. 
 
 Reading is an impossibility at this hour. Nothing 
 more than skimming over the pages of a newspaper 
 can be accomplished in the way of literature. As the 
 throng passes and repasses, the great book of Human 
 Life is wide open before you, and every new face is 
 a fresh and curious page to be read. 
 
 Reading faces is like reading a book in a for 
 eign tongue with which we are but partially ac 
 quainted. We catch a general idea of the author's 
 ^ meaning, but lose many a pearl which is hidden in 
 the vast ocean of thought. 
 
 From twelve o'clock until' four in the afternoon, 
 the piazza is nearly deserted. The noonday siesta, 
 embroidery, and dinner intervene. After dinner the 
 band again assembles this time on the piazza. 
 Ever since the days of Orpheus has music wielded 
 a magic charm over the hearts of mortals, luring 
 them whither it will ; and from four to five, after 
 dinner, is a witching hour at Saratoga. Every one 
 is in the best of spirits ; the music is charming 
 now full of mirth and gayety, and now plaintive 
 with pathos and sentiment. There is little prome- 
 
22 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 nading, and every seat is occupied. Little coteries 
 are formed, and sprightly conversations are carried 
 on, through which ~bon mots flash in and out like 
 meteors darting through a summer sky. 
 
 One may take in at a glance people of almost 
 every clime. Distinguished men of letters ; eminent 
 judges and lawyers ; military heroes, who wear their 
 laurels gracefully ; divines, who are not too near 
 heaven to enjoy the charms of good society on earth ; 
 men of wit and men of fashion ; and men who are 
 neither witty, nor learned, nor fashionable, but who 
 were expressly created to fill up the loop-holes of so 
 ciety intended for bores. 
 
 There are also beautif ul and fashionable women. 
 Women elegantly attired ; women of mind and cult 
 ure ; and women with pretty faces, whose brains 
 are as destitute of ideas as those of a well-dressed 
 doll. There are women of fashion, whose whole 
 souls revolve alternately around a " love of a bon 
 net " or aparure of diamonds ; and women of noble 
 aims and purposes, whose minds are not utterly ab 
 sorbed in the trivialities of dress. There are wives 
 who have not an idea beyond the ipse dixit of their 
 august (or foolish) husbands ; and wives who are at 
 last opening their eyes to the fact that they were not 
 created to be the mere puppets and slaves of man. 
 
ON THE PIAZZA. 23 
 
 All these make up a little world, complete in it 
 self, in which one may while the hours delightfully 
 away. 
 
 When the music ceases, it is en regie to drive to 
 the Lake, or wherever pleasure dictates, or to go 
 down to the springs, to drink the waters with the 
 last sunbeams sparkling upon them ; and, after that, 
 all is quiet until eight in the evening. Then the 
 ladies emerge from their rooms in the full splendor 
 of evening toilettes ; and the glittering of /are jewels 
 rivals the flashing of bright eyes. Faces which are 
 plain and ordinary enough in the daytime seem to 
 have stolen an added charm from the eventide, as 
 though the parting day had left its blessing upon 
 them ! 
 
 The parlors are filled with a gayly-dressed and 
 animated throng. Costly robes gleam softly beneath 
 the radiance of many lamps, and rare gems which 
 sparkle on every side reflect the rays of light with a 
 liquid fire. 
 
 Leaving the crowded parlors for the piazza, we 
 find the throng there also. But the soft light of the 
 stars blends with the glitter of the lamps, and the 
 young new moon droops low in the west. A brilliant 
 aurora flashes fitfully across the northern sky. * 
 
 No hour upon the piazza is like to this. There is 
 
24 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 music ; but it is the sound of the piano touched by 
 skilful fingers, or the voice of song which comes 
 floating from the parlor. There is any amount of 
 flirtation and love-making going on. The hour has 
 a witchery in it, and few hearts can resist the spell. 
 Even the elderly people recall faint memories of the 
 time when they, too, went romancing under the stars. 
 
 With pleasant chatting and soft laughter ; with 
 the fluttering of fans and the flashing of bright eyes ; 
 with whispered words of love which only the evening 
 zephyr can catch ; under the starlight and the moon 
 light, blended with the soft glimmer of the lamps 
 the evening glides swiftly away. 
 
 And when it is over, the piazza is once more de 
 serted. There is heard no more the sound of laugh 
 ter or of song ; the lamps are put out ; and the stars, 
 which now look solemn and weird, shed a cold radi 
 ance over all. So the day ends at Saratoga. 
 
IV. 
 
 JANUARY AND MAT. 
 
 THE people who spend the most money at Saratoga 
 are the old men with young wives. As there is no 
 end to the caprices of an old man's darling, the most 
 lavisli toilettes are displayed to a gaping world by 
 these foolish butterflies of fashion, who have re 
 nounced love and romance forever, and sold them 
 selves for gold to the highest bidder in Vanity Fair. 
 
 One of these couples attracts particular attention. 
 The husband is said to be enormously wealthy, and 
 no lady in Saratoga surpasses his wife in the ele 
 gance of her toilettes. Her diamonds are of the first 
 water, and sparkle as profusely upon her lovely per 
 son as dew-drops showered upon a rose. In return 
 for all the luxuries with which her husband's wealth 
 provides her, this young wife entertains him with a 
 ceaseless prattling. Her glances are turned neither 
 to the riffht-nor to the left, but alwavs rest dutifully 
 
 O tf v 
 
 upon her liege lord. Indeed, she could not do other 
 wise if she wished, for his admiring eyes are con 
 stantly fixed upon her. He is evidently amused and 
 
26 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 flattered with her constant attention and charming 
 vivacity, and she has only to say, " My dear ! " to 
 have the wealth of the Indies laid at her feet. 
 
 And how people do stare at this bride of half a 
 hundred millions ! Yerily we moderns are worse 
 than the heathen idolators of old. We do not build 
 our idols of solid gold as did they ; we care not 
 what the idol itself may be, so that it is covered 
 with gold, we fall down and worship it ! 
 
 But faugh ! Madge says that she would rather 
 bury all his diamonds and riches in the bottom of 
 the sea than be compelled to gaze upon and to enter 
 tain that wizen-faced old man all day. 
 
 Another representative of the January and May 
 marriage, is Richard Lambda, a youthful veteran of 
 seventy, with a wife of twenty. Viewed at a dis 
 tance for sake of the enchantment, you know Mr. 
 Richard Lambda might pass for forty-five. But 
 Aunt Prim says that he was a grown man when she 
 was a " w~ee, toddling girl in pinafores ! " (Imag 
 ine Aunt Prim ever toddling !) But this gentleman 
 is marvellously gotten up. His hair and whiskers 
 are of raven blackness, and his teeth as white as 
 pearls. A golden eye-glass dangles from his vest, 
 and his toilette is always unexceptionable. 
 
 And what matters it if, in reality, he is bald, tooth- 
 
JANUARY AND MAY. 27 
 
 less, almost sightless, brainless, and deaf ? N^importe 
 tout cela ! Does he not own the finest house in 
 Gotham ? And if he can scarcely walk, can he not 
 ride in a gilded coach behind the fleetest of steeds ? 
 And is not a heap of gold dollars better than a 
 split sixpence even though the sixpence was broken 
 in a love troth ? So at least decided his young wife, 
 who is said to have married this man to please her 
 father, and almost broke her heart at renouncing a 
 younger and dearer lover. 
 
 We have any number of brides, however, with young 
 husbands. One of them sits near me now, elegantly 
 attired, and dividing her attention between the new 
 ly wedded husband and a pet lap-dog ! Really the 
 lap-dog appears to possess the largest share of its 
 mistress' affection ! 
 
 In whatever costume this fair bride chooses to 
 array herself, the lap-dog is decked with a velvet 
 ribbon of the same color as her dress. The husband 
 also displays a cravat of the same hue. What a 
 consultation there must be every morning about dif- 
 erent shades of color, in this happy family of three ! 
 Cousin Madge views all the newly married 
 couples with curious eyes ; and she detests that lap- 
 dog. I cannot refrain from whispering, sub rosa 
 for what woman could ever yet keep a secret, or 
 
28 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 what man either ? that Cousin Madge expects to 
 be married this fall. And the way she snubs all 
 the young gentlemen who are inclined to proffer her 
 their attentions is simply terrific. 
 
 The most elegant man in the world would scarcely 
 be able to win a second thought from her, just now. 
 
 Lovers are all as blind as bats. They see no one, 
 and heed no one, except the beloved, whom they in 
 vest with every fancied charm. 
 
 A lover's life is like a dream, through which the 
 people of the world move like phantoms, and the 
 only real existence is that of the chosen one, who is 
 worshipped as a divinity, and whose image fills heart 
 and mind to the utter exclusion of every one else. 
 
 Ileigho ! talking about lovers, if Fitz Hugh were 
 only here ! But that incomparable youth has re 
 turned to town, and three long days must elapse ere 
 w^ may hope once more to behold him. 
 
 The very thought overwhelms me with despair. 
 Not a single exquisite here can compare with Fitz 
 Hugh. 
 
 The remembrance of that absent but nnforgotten 
 youth dispels all my sweet fancies, and I turn for con 
 solation to contemplate a lock of his lovely hair. 
 Perhaps you think I wear it upon my heart ? "What 
 nonsense! I shall send it to a chemist. I reallv 
 
 
JANUARY AND MAY. 29 
 
 would like to know if the mellowness of his brain has 
 anything to do with the golden tint of his hair or 
 if the color is all owing to the barber's skill. I scorn 
 to be curious but this is merely a matter of science. 
 Fitz Hugh is quite proud of his golden locks and 
 cerulean eyes, deepened in tint by the cerulean cra 
 vat he generally wears. And, entre nous, how 
 charming this fascinating youth appeared on the 
 morning he left, dressed in a coat of black velvet, 
 white vest, white pantaloons, a love of a white hat 
 resting upon his golden curls, and with the inevita 
 ble blue cravat, so becoming to a blonde ! Ah ! 
 Fitz Hugh is elegant ! But this is entre nous ! 
 
V. 
 
 MAKING HAY. 
 
 O i HAT Madge ! that terrible, incorrigible girl ! 
 Madge has been down in the park a-haying ! Not , 
 " making hay while the sun shines," in the manner 
 which young ladies of position are expected to do, 
 during a season at Saratoga, by securing an eligible 
 match no Miss Madge has put an end to all such 
 hopes by her mad-cap caprices. This morning, ar 
 rayed in my most charming toilette, and accompa 
 nied by the elegant Fitz Hugh who has just returned, 
 I walked down to Congress Park. There we saw a 
 party of hay-makers tossing up the grass. It all 
 looked very romantic when viewed from a distance, 
 but, as we drew nearer, whom should we recognize 
 among the merry hay-makers but Madge and that 
 wild Belle Arden from Chicago, with Mr. Cecil and 
 two or three other gentlemen. Oh dear ! I thought I 
 
 O O 
 
 sjiould faint ; Madge's hat was lying upon the grass 
 her hair was flying at random, and her cheeks were 
 such a vulgar red ! 
 
 It was too shocking ! They were all busily en- 
 
 
MAKING HAY. 31 
 
 gaged in tossing the hay, as though they thought it 
 fine fun ; and then, to cap all, when I looked up in 
 Fitz Hugh's face, expecting to find a sneer upon his 
 aristocratic features, he was gazing at Madge, and 
 laughingly declared he had never seen her look so 
 handsome before ! The stupid fellow really looked as 
 though he wished to join the party ! I was just upon 
 the point of fainting, to prevent that catastrophe, 
 when I saw Aunt Prim and Bachelor Grumpy ap 
 proaching us. When the former looked in the face 
 of her paragon niece, she knew that something was 
 wrong. Unable to speak, I turned my eyes in 
 speechless agony toward the hay-makers. Aunt Prim 
 followed my glance. 
 
 " Yes, my dear, they are having a merry time of 
 it," she said, blandly. I remained mute with sur 
 prise, forgetting that Aunt Prim's eyesight is not so 
 good as it might be, when Grumpy suddenly cried 
 out : 
 
 " Why, bless my soul, if Madge is not making 
 hay ! " 
 
 " Madge ! My dear sir, is Madge there ! " ex 
 claimed Aunt Prim, now thoroughly horror-stricken. 
 
 " Of course she is, and that sly little minx from 
 the West, and half a dozen others. Well, it's jolly 
 fun to see those fellows making hay with lavender 
 
32 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 kids upon their hands ! " and Mr. Bachelor Grumpy 
 laughed heartily. 
 
 Here I forgot Madge entirely, it was so amusing 
 to watch Aunt Prim. I knew that she was boiling 
 with rage to think that any one belonging to our 
 family would frolic so but then there was Bachelor 
 Grumpy at her side, and what could she do ? 
 
 Just nothing ; and so she smiled with her lips, 
 while her eyes darted forked lightnings ; she vented 
 her anger upon her poor shawl and parasol, the 
 latter she shook nervously, and the former she 
 twitched until I feared it would fall in pieces. Oh, 
 dear, I came near dying with suppressed laughter ! 
 Aunt Prim prudently concluded to bide her time, 
 and did not call Madge, but passed on with Bache 
 lor Grumpy. 
 
 This gentleman is an old acquaintance who has 
 recently arrived in Saratoga. Is it the bewitching 
 serenity of Aunt Prim's features which has lured him 
 hither i or can it be the glistening of her gold, or 
 the sparkling waters of the Springs ? I know not ; 
 but at any rate, he is " your most devoted " to my 
 paragon aunt, wherever we go. And it is really 
 quite delightful, for this excellent man absorbs so 
 much of Aunt Prim's attention, that she sometimes 
 quite forgets " the girls." 
 

 MAKING HAY. 33 
 
 Just before the dinner-hour, in walked Miss 
 Madge, swinging her hat in her hand ; and the 
 saucy girl commenced to sing 
 
 " Under my hat of barley- straw, 
 
 Charlie gave me a kiss ! 
 Nobody heard, and nobody saw, 
 Do not take it amiss 
 'Twas only a kiss ! " 
 
 Only a kiss ! What could the girl mean ? Here 
 Aunt Prim entered and gave her such a lecture ! 
 Madge listened demurely at first ; then, walking to 
 the open window which looks out upon the piazza, 
 she turned and said : 
 
 " Oh don't, Auntie ! Mr. Grumpy is smoking right 
 under the window ! " 
 
 Aunt Prim flounced angrily out of the room. 
 The word Grumpy had the desired effect, and ended 
 the lecture, and Madge laughed as though it were 
 capital fun. 
 
 There was a concert in the Opera House this 
 evening. Of course I was there, and Fitz Hugh 
 beside me. And that charming fellow wore the 
 loveliest cravat ! I complimented him upon the 
 color, it was so becoming. 
 
 " Oh, yes, blue is the color for a blonde, you 
 
 know," he said, stroking his moustache. Speaking 
 2* 
 
34: SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 of a blonde, did he mean me or himself, I wonder \ 
 I have heard it whispered that Fitz Hugh's golden 
 locks are dyed. I cannot believe it, however, 
 although Fannie Arlington declares she met him in 
 Paris two winters ago, and that his hair was then as 
 brown as brown could be. She says nothing of his 
 inimitable moustache ; I suppose it was not visible 
 then. 
 
 The Opera House fronts upon a beautiful grove, 
 and what can be more charming than wandering 
 through this sylvan retreat by moonlight, hanging 
 upon Fitz Hugh's arm, with the stars looking softly 
 down through the trees, while from the concert room 
 near by float delicious strains of music. 
 
 " Speechless, and lost in ecstasy, 
 Birds and the stars above me, 
 I did not hear, I did not see. 
 Ah me ! I thought that she did love me." 
 
 Bah ! let not every romantic youth imagine that a 
 maiden who looks upon him with melting eyes, as 
 they walk together beneath the trees in the moon 
 light, is in love with him. Possibly she is thinking 
 of some absent lover ; or probably she meditates 
 whether the dew-drops which glisten like jewels in 
 her hair will not rob her tresses of their crimp, or 
 the stiffness from the white muslin, which used to be 
 
MAKING HAY. 35 
 
 called a simple dress, but is now so be-puffed and 
 be-ruffle v d that it is simple no longer. Neither is its 
 wearer. Talk about the wisdom of our grand 
 mothers ! One " Girl of the Period " would astonish 
 and eclipse twenty of those dear ancient dames. It 
 would not do, however, to let Aunt Prim see that last 
 remark, for she is fond of expressing her contempt 
 for the " ignorance of young people," and the 
 " shocking deterioration of the age ! " 
 
VI. 
 
 THE WIDOW DASH. 
 
 THE Widow Dash has arrived. Sixteen Saratoga 
 Trunks ; five oblong ones, resembling so many coffins, 
 in which lie buried at full length her ball dresses ; 
 twenty-five bandboxes ; a parrot in a gilded cage ; 
 two lap-dogs ; an elegant equipage with a span of 
 full-blooded bays ; a maid, a coachman, and a foot 
 man ; all these are in the train of this wonderful 
 widow. And goodness knows how much more, since 
 this list does not include the et ceteras. 
 
 Saratoga has been in a flutter of excitement for 
 three days over this fascinating widow. The young 
 men are harder than ever now to be suited in the 
 choice of a cravat, and twirl their incipient mous 
 taches for hours before the mirror, in the hope of 
 seeing them grow and the elderly creatures, poor 
 souls ! get themselves up " regardless " and all this 
 for a widow ! What miserable taste ! 
 
 You remember the Widow Dash ? Six years ago 
 she was the belle of the beau monde of Fifth 
 Avenue. She married old Latitude and Longitude 
 
THE WIDOW DASH. 
 
THE WIDOW DASH. 37 
 
 that's what we schoolgirls called him, for there was 
 no limit to the latitude of his purse and, as for his 
 life, it had already attained such a longitude. 
 However, ignoring the longitude in consideration 
 
 7 O O O 
 
 of the latitude, Miss Fairy Beautiful wedded Father 
 Graybeard. And he, good old soul, growing tired 
 of the follies and vexations of Vanity Fair, departed 
 this life with a good grace, leaving to his fashionable 
 young wife the bulk of his splendid fortune. 
 
 How considerate of him ! Such a piece of good 
 nature is not to be expected of every venerable and 
 wealthy husband ! But the poor, dear man has un 
 doubtedly his reward ; and moreover he has es 
 caped the earthly martyrdom of travelling in charge 
 of the widow's baggage, which would be enough to 
 distract any live masculine. And then the bills 
 which this charming widow runs up would surely 
 suffice to frighten any man out of his senses. 
 Twelve thousand dollars are scarcely sufficient to 
 cover the expenses of her short season at Saratoga. 
 
 Ah, well, if husbands must die, it is a fine thing to 
 be a rich widow ! 
 
 It is now two years since old Latitude took his 
 departure for a better sphere, and since that inter 
 esting not to say disinterested event on his part his 
 widow has maintained a proper seclusion, and 
 
38 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 devoted herself assiduously to the study of woman 
 kind. 
 
 Do not imagine for a moment that she has the 
 least idea of taking the platform in defence of 
 woman's rights, or that she has resolved in her 
 mind any grand scheme for the amelioration of the 
 troubles of her sex. Not at all. She knows her 
 rights, and knows how to obtain them also in the 
 most charming way in the world. 
 
 If one only knows how, the genus homo is the 
 easiest genus to manage on the face of the earth. 
 The great art consists in concealing the management 
 altogether. Just let these masculine bipeds catch a 
 glimpse of the whip and the reins, and straightway 
 they are stubborn as mules ! 
 
 But stand smilingly before them, with your 
 " gyP sv " na t fr^l ^ f resn ? green grass, and the dear 
 creatures will amble along beautifully. 
 
 Don't I know ? Haven't I Fitz Hugh already in 
 training ? But to return to the widow. During these 
 two years she has devoted her golden moments to the 
 precious study of herself. Every art known to an 
 cient and modern times for attaining the perfection 
 of female loveliness, she has explored ; from long- 
 centuries ago, when Roman ladies sat upon the 
 house-tops to bleach their hair beneath Italy's burn- 
 
THE WIDOW DASH. 39 
 
 ing sun, up to the present day, when modern belles 
 transform their tresses into gold by some mysterious 
 process of the hair-dresser's skill. 
 
 Every advantage to be derived from dress has 
 been carefully pondered ; every look, every motion, 
 every smile well studied ; and now, having reached 
 the acme of loveliness and perfection, in her study of 
 womankind, the Widow Dash reappears in society, 
 to dazzle it with far more than her pristine glory. 
 
 She enters as queen, into the sphere for which she 
 has fitted herself that of conquering mankind ! 
 
 This is the age of progression, and it is quite 
 evident that woman must advance as well as man. 
 If man shuts the gates, and debars her from advanc 
 ing in his way, let him be sure that she will find a 
 path of her own, and circumvent him at last. Talk 
 about the perplexities which harass and worry a 
 man's brain ! I would not undertake to teach the 
 smartest man alive to master the infinite trivialities 
 that make up the sum of a fashionable woman's 
 life. 
 
 It is all very well for a man, after years of labor, 
 to get one grand idea safely lodged in his cranium, 
 to turn " professional " of some kind, and then rest 
 upon his oars, content to spend the remainder of his 
 life in developing that one idea. But just let him 
 
40 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 attempt to fathom the intricacies of the mind and 
 heart of a woman like the Widow Dash, and he will 
 find himself beyond his depths in no time. Law 
 and logic would be nothing to that ! 
 
 I plainly see trouble in the distance. Bachelor 
 Grumpy is swerving from his allegiance, and Aunt 
 Prim is disturbed in mind. A shadow, as yet no 
 larger than that flung from a bird's wing, darkens 
 her " love's young dream." Ever since this fair 
 widow's arrival, Grumpy has acted like a man in a 
 maze, or rather like one who has lost his senses. 
 Madge says the widow has bewitched half the men 
 here into lunacy. And she has such a horror of 
 idiotic men 1 
 
 " Leaves have their time to fall." 
 
 And so have love-smitten youths ! that is, upon their 
 knees, before the object of their devotions. But 
 who wishes to see a man on his knees at all times, or 
 all men, paying homage to the same woman ? If 
 Fitz Hugh is sometimes slightly bewildered, who 
 can blame him? If that irresistible youth is too 
 much infatuated already to fall into this wily 
 widow's net, so much the better for him ! Young 
 men, beware of the widows ! 
 
 The attentions which those odious lap-dogs, and 
 
THE WIDOW- DASH. 41 
 
 that screeching parrot, which belong to the Widow 
 Dash, receive from our Saratoga exquisites, is simply 
 terrific ! As much adulation and homage are offered 
 them as though they were Saratoga belles. And how 
 complacently the Widow Dash contemplates all this ! 
 She says but little. She has more faith in the 
 eloquence of looks than of words. She smiles, or 
 sighs ; flutters her fan, the better to display her 
 white hands glittering with gems ; darts destructive 
 glances from her soft eyes at some adorer ; blushes 
 slightly, then drops her orbs languidly and the 
 intoxicated admirer, poor, foolish butterfly that he 
 is ! is ready to fall in the dust at her feet, utterly 
 regardless of the consequent ruin to his white inex 
 pressibles ! Oh, dear ! what fools these men are ! 
 Still, out of commiseration for these poor, benighted, 
 deluded creatures, I repeat to all men, both young 
 and old beware of the Saratoga widow ! 
 
 Aunt Prim is waxing wrathy. In fact she has 
 been wrathy ever since this morning, which we 
 spent on the " grand stand " watching the races. Of 
 course the inevitable widow was there ; and Bache 
 lor Grumpy was so attentive ; to the widow, not to 
 Aunt Prim ! Aunt Prim would expire at the mere 
 idea of attending a race. The widow vanquished 
 her admirer in a bet and Aunt Prim has a proper 
 
42 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 horror of betting. She would not make a bet, ever, 
 to secure Bachelor Grumpy for life. This is all 
 very well, but still what a disagreeable duenna 
 Aunt Prim is when she is angry ! 
 
VII. 
 
 LE BEAU MONDE. 
 
 WAS there ever a gayer place than Saratoga is 
 this season ? No sooner has one wave of pleasure 
 died softly away than 
 
 " Another as bright and as shining comes on." 
 
 It is one constant whirl of excitement from early 
 morning far into the " wee sma' " hours of the night. 
 One lives almost in a dream a beautiful, poet's 
 dream through which is ever floating strains of 
 delicious music, the perfume of flowers, the voices 
 of sweet singers, the flashing of bright eyes, soft 
 glances, and whispered tones the gleaming of rare 
 jewels, and the rustling of costly robes. All these 
 blend harmoniously together to make life beautiful, 
 and to blot all care and sorrow from the heart. 
 
 People who come here to pass only a day or two 
 find themselves detained as if by a magical spell a 
 charm which they are loth to break ; and so they 
 linger, until days glide into weeks, and the gay 
 season is over, and the memory of Saratoga pleas- 
 
44 SPAKKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 ures follows one far into the dreary winter, like thp 
 scent of the dead summer roses. 
 
 Every one is light-hearted, every one is happy 
 One would think that life were all sunshine, thai 
 we had only to revel in the warm, golden beams, and 
 to pluck flowers that never concealed a thorn ! 
 
 The hotels are crowded with people ; the streets 
 are brilliant with gayly dressed ladies who prom 
 enade without hats, as though in a drawing-room, 
 and shade their fair faces from the glowing kisses 
 of the sun by parasols of delicate tints. Elegant car 
 riages, with fine horses, are driven up and down 
 Broadway by sable Jehus in gorgeous livery. The 
 stores are filled with the latest New York fashions 
 and novelties, venders of quack medicines amuse the 
 throng with comic songs and witty sayings ; tables 
 spread with Indian wares attract the lovers of curios 
 ities ; while those who are fond of the antique, hover 
 longingly over a display of rich Oriental jewelry, 
 bracelets and rings, which possess the charm of waft 
 ing one's thoughts far over the sea to sunny Al 
 giers, to sweet Georgian vales, or where floats the 
 perfume of roses which bloom in Cashmere. Prom 
 enading the Saratogian Broadway is like wandering 
 through a great fancy fair, where one never tires of 
 seeing or hearing. All kinds of people continually 
 
LE BEAU MONDE. 45 
 
 pass you ; the beautiful and the ugly ; the man of 
 intellect, and the be-whiskered fop whose brain 
 has long since run to hair ; distinguished clergy 
 men, poets, and artists ; illustrious authors, and cele 
 brated musicians ; dignified senators and affable 
 Congressmen ; women of culture and refinement ; 
 women of birth and breeding ; men who have not 
 a soul above buttons, and women who exist only to 
 array themselves ; beautiful young ladies, and fool 
 ish old ones, who are neither young nor beautiful, 
 but who refuse to resign themselves gracefully to 
 the custody of old Father Time, and deck them 
 selves with all the affectations of dress and manners 
 of sweet sixteen. 
 
 ' ' Oh ! wad some power the gif tie gie us, 
 To see ourselves as ithers see us ! " 
 
 There goes a woman promenading the piazza, the 
 sight of whom is enough to draw the tears from 
 one's eyes ; she is at least seventy-five years old ; yet 
 so be-powdered, be-painted, be-frizzled, that it is to 
 be doubted if she recognizes her own self in the 
 
 O 
 
 mirror. Her dress is always youthful ; this morning 
 it is a white swiss, covered with puffs and ruffles. 
 A bright-colored sash is fastened at her waist. Two 
 long, dark curls float airily down her back, while the 
 
4:6 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 rest of her auburn (?) hair is arranged in braids and 
 puffs. Diamonds glisten in her thin ears, and upon 
 her withered hands, which are also profusely pow 
 dered or covered with enamelling. To see this 
 woman at the distance of a few feet, one might sup 
 pose her to be very young ; but when she approaches, 
 oh, horror ! a shudder creeps over you, and you feel 
 like fleeing before the skeleton which looks out upon 
 you behind the thick layers of enamel, arrayed in the 
 height of fashion. To complete her toilette, she car 
 ries a little black-and-tau terrier under her arm, 
 which looks at you with its sharp black eyes, and 
 shows its small white teeth menacingly. I never 
 look upon that terrier but I think of a ghoul haunt 
 ing a grave, or the spirit of Eblis keeping guard 
 over a doomed soul, in the shape of a pampered lap- 
 dog ! And I never see this painted skeleton dance, 
 for dance she does/ but I fancy I hear the rattling of 
 dry bones ! 
 
 In pleasing contrast to this horrid mockery of old 
 age, this disdaining the years which should bring 
 honor and wisdom to all, is Mrs. Beta, the wife of 
 Congressman Beta, of New York. This dear old 
 lady is always simply dressed in black, and wears 
 her own gray hair arranged in becoming little puffs. 
 Her manners are'the simplest and most unaffected 
 
LE BEAU MONDE. 47 
 
 in the world, and one may look upon her and learn 
 how to grow old gracefully ! 
 
 One cannot help asking, while looking into the 
 faces of some of the elderly ladies who spend the 
 summer at Saratoga, what has become of the dear old 
 ladies of the olden time? The sweet, pale face, 
 from which the roses had fled, but left their sweet 
 ness still ; the silvered locks which crowned the fur 
 rowed brow with a halo of glory ; the soft, low voice 
 which touched the heart, because its every tone 
 seemed a plaint for the dear ones who had " gone 
 before ; J> the simple attire of black silk, and the soft 
 ruffles of white lace ; where is now this vision of 
 sweet womanhood, which no one could fail to love 
 and venerate ? Alas ! the dowagers who come to 
 renew their youth at the springs of Saratoga are not 
 of this class ! Old age forgets that it has a poetry 
 of its own, and makes a sad mistake in putting on 
 the mask of youth. 
 
 Saratoga is a veritable " School for Scandal." It 
 
 O 
 
 is amusing and at the same time saddening to hear 
 the remarks made upon every side. One almost 
 dreads to cross the room when one hears the insid 
 ious comments made upon every passer-by. But, 
 after all, a woman need have little fear for herself 
 it is only her toilette which is discussed. 
 
4:8 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Is it not a wretched, questionable taste when the 
 world ranks the wardrobe as of more importance 
 than the individual ? 
 
 Dresses, not brains, are at a premium in Sara 
 toga. 
 
 I hate to hear a man discussing a lady's dress. I 
 am apt to fancy that his soul is small enough to be 
 tucked under the hem of a handkerchief. 
 
 People who call themselves gentlemen and ladies, 
 will stand on the piazzas or in the drawing-room, 
 and eagerly watching the promenaders who ap 
 proach, make their caustic remarks and comments 
 as freely, as though they were gazing upon a 
 menagerie. 
 
 Did you ever know that butterflies buzz ? You 
 should spend an hour of a bright evening in tho 
 parlor at Saratoga ; such a continued buzzing, chat 
 tering, and laughing of merry people congregated 
 together was never heard before ! No assembly of 
 busy bees could hope to rival these butterflies of 
 fashion, who swarm under the brilliant chandeliers, 
 and spread their gaudy wings. 
 
 If you draw near to the various little coteries, you 
 will hear people who are sparkling with jewels 
 rioting in bad grammar and empty ideas ; you will 
 see aldermen who can scarcely write their own 
 
LE BEAU MONDE. 49 
 
 names, and shoddy people who endeavor to conceal 
 their ignorance with thick layers of gold. 
 
 They are dancing the German this morning in 
 the ball-room, and Madge is whirling through its 
 mazes with Fitz Hugh. The witching strains of 
 the music float in through my window, and if my 
 letter be incoherent, it is because my pen is inspired 
 with the spirit of the dance, and will persist in keep 
 ing time. 
 
 To-morrow night we are to have a grand mas 
 querade at our hotel ; of which I think Madge 
 entertains "great expectations." That girl never 
 will sober down into a staid old woman, if she lives 
 to be fifty ! She is continually upsetting the equi 
 librium of Aunt Prim's good-temper by her vaga 
 ries, and Aunt Prim's temper is none of the best. I 
 have advised the dear old lady to take a few addi 
 tional glasses of Congress water, which she firmly 
 believes to be a cure for all evils. 
 3 
 
 
VIII. 
 
 THE MASQUERADE. 
 
 THE morning after a ball is not apt to be par 
 ticularly charming, and the people we found espe 
 cially brilliant and witty beneath the gaslight, are 
 often stupid enough the next day. The belles of 
 the evening, who bewildered your fancy, and 
 entangled your heart, and still lingered in your 
 dreams after the soft good-uights were uttered, wear 
 a different guise the next morning. Everybody 
 looks sleepy and bored. Everybody except Aunt 
 Prim, who sits erect in her chair upon the piazza 
 reading the morning paper, and denouncing " that 
 artful Napoleon ! " I am glad that Napoleon just 
 now engrosses her anathemas, since Madge and I 
 would certainly come in for our bitter share, did 
 the good lady dream that we, her nieces, attended a 
 masquerade ! 
 
 Cousin Madge sits near, shading her face with a 
 pink parasol, with her sweet lips buried in a fresh 
 water-lily which she holds in her hand, and her 
 beautiful eyes half closed, for they are heavy with 
 
THE MASQUEKADE. 51 
 
 slumber. Madge is weary after the past night's 
 frolic, and is doing penance now by ignoring the 
 admiring glances of those that pass her, and giving 
 all her thoughts to her absent lover. Ah ! " there's 
 nothing half so sweet in life, as love's young 
 dream ! " 
 
 If men were to die of their vanity, how frightful 
 would be the mortality among them ! 
 
 If Madge chances to glance twice at a pair of 
 patent-leather boots, or a curled moustache which 
 passes her, the individual who owns said boots or 
 moustache is sure to catch the twinkle in her eye, 
 and immediately pluming his feathers with gratified 
 vanity, he promenades up and down for her especial 
 benefit. And all the time Madge is probably think 
 ing of some one else longing for her dinner or 
 viewing her wardrobe with her mind's eye, and 
 pondering in what toilette she may appear next. 
 If she notice the arrogant stare of the man at all, it 
 is only to laugh at his conceit, or to walk away to 
 avoid his impertinent glance. 
 
 Not a presentable, unmarried man in Saratoga 
 but imagines that every pretty or homely girl is 
 laying siege to his heart, and that every match 
 making mamma is endeavoring to weave her toils 
 around him. He fancies that he has only to ask and 
 
52 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 that the maiden whom he may honor with his choice 
 will drop into his arms. 
 
 But to the masquerade. Among the characters 
 represented were patriotic young ladies in costumes 
 of red, white, and blue ; flower girls, and queens of 
 the night ; cavaliers, troubadours, sultans, and clowns 
 in abundance. And there was a pretentious young 
 gentleman in a court suit of white silk and gold 
 lace, who evidently had not received the order of 
 the " Garter," since his white hose were full of 
 wrinkles ! 
 
 Oh, dear! what a blessing it would be to one's 
 sense of the beautiful, if some people would always 
 wear masks. There was a Highlander present, 
 whose fine, stately figure elicited much admiration 
 from the fair sex, but who took off his mask and 
 revealed a shad-faced, middle-a2;ed man whom no 
 
 > O 
 
 one would ever dream of falling in love with. 
 
 And Madge and I wearied ourselves with laugh 
 ing at Fitz Hugh, who went raving over a head of 
 golden curls, but whose rhapsodies were suddenly 
 brought to dismay, when at the mystic hour of 
 twelve, the masks were removed, and the poor fel 
 low's inamorata proved to be a jolly old lady of 
 sixty ! Poor Fitz Hugh ! He was glum and sar 
 castic enough all the rest of the evening, and 
 
THE MASQUERADE. 53 
 
 indulged in the most cynical remarks about the 
 deceitfulness of women. During the evening I took 
 especial pains to draw his attention to a beautiful 
 brunette, just budding into womanhood, and 
 evidently destined to the naughty mission of break 
 ing hearts. But he was too much absorbed in that 
 splendid mesh of golden curls, to heed the brunette. 
 I have no patience with a man who falls in love with 
 a wig ! 
 
 I shall take Fitz Hugh to the hair-dresser's 
 window some day, and proceed to enlighten him. 
 The ball-room was crowded, and magnificent toilettes 
 and blazing jewels were as plentiful as roses in 
 June. But there is an old adage which says, 
 " Fine feathers make fine birds ; " and if all the trap 
 pings of wealth were laid aside, Saratoga could boast 
 of but little beauty. 
 
 Rouge and powder, and all the other accessories 
 to a fashionable woman's toilette, may go a long 
 way toward adding fancied charms to those who 
 have sad lack of them. But if these apparently 
 blooming roses were transplanted from the hot-bed 
 of fashion, and deprived of their jewels, satins, and 
 laces, of the rouge, powder, switches and curls, your 
 roses would suddenly vanish, and not even the charm 
 of a daffy-down-dilly remain. 
 
54 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 And even when genuine beauty passes by, per* 
 feet features, and complexions which owe nothing 
 to art, how often does the face express nothing but 
 insipidity. One sees plenty of bright eyes, luxuriant 
 tresses, and pretty shoulders ; but alas ! the soul 
 which might inspire the heart to lasting admiration 
 is too often wanting. And what is vapid, expression 
 less beauty worth ? Every young lady who is bent 
 on making conquests, might easily spare a few of 
 the precious hours wasted upon fashionable follies, 
 and devote them to cultivating her mind. For the 
 charms she may thus acquire are imperishable, and 
 will outlive her youth and loveliness. 
 
 An elderly lady of intelligence and culture has 
 always warm-hearted admirers and friends, while a 
 frivolous, empty-headed young belle, with no charm 
 save a pretty face, is sure to sink into a stupid old 
 woman. 
 
 The prettiest fancy dresses at the ball were worn 
 by the children. Little fairies, enveloped in clouds 
 of white tulle, flitted around the room, and boys of 
 tender years, in powdered wigs and satin small 
 clothes, danced and promenaded with the>nymphs in 
 tulle, -\vith all the airs and graces of young gentle 
 men of a larger growth. 
 
 And how the little faces sparkled with glee ! 
 
THE MASQUERADE. 55 
 
 There were Scotch laddies and lassies, gentle and 
 fair as the bonnie lovers who inspired the tender 
 muse of Robert Burns ; there were little Normandy 
 peasants, with their high-pointed caps. resting upon 
 thick tresses bright with youth's sunshine; also 
 pretty Swiss shepherdesses with simple crooks in 
 their tiny hands, and Italian banditti whose faces 
 were so utterly devoid of wickedness as to induce 
 one to believe in the traditional good qualities and 
 innate nobleness of Robin. Hood and others of his 
 ilk ; little fellows in blue and white, called them 
 selves " jolly tars," and cteclared their invincible 
 devotion to the stars and stripes ; and there were 
 soldiers who never dreamed of scars, and little girls 
 who commenced their belle-ship thus early by 
 wearing dresses trimmed with tiny silver bells, 
 which tinkled musically as their wearers went float 
 ing through the dance. 
 
 But it is quite evident that the sober American is 
 not gifted with that vivacity, that froth and sparkle 
 of merriment which overspreads the surface of a 
 French or Italian life, like the foam upon a glass of 
 champagng and therefore be cannot enter into the 
 wild, capricious, fantastic spirit of the masquerade 
 which constitutes its only charm. 
 
 Where is the pleasure of attending a masked ball. 
 
 
5G SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 when three-fourths of the assemblage are dressed in 
 their everyday silks and broadcloth ? 
 
 How can one imagine for a moment, that he lives 
 in the primitive days of America, as he promenades 
 the ball-room with a swarthy, black-haired Pocahon- 
 tas leaning upon his arm, and is at the same time 
 continually bowing to the " Girl of the Period," 
 arrayed in the most fashionable modern attire ? 
 
 And where is the pleasure of talking with a 
 masked Scotchman who wears the tartan plaid with 
 a manly grace, .but who has never read a line of 
 Robert Burns', and kno\fs absolutely nothing of the 
 heroic Wallace ? 
 
 The fop and the fool, and the natural Satans who 
 go about dressed in black and red, but who can 
 never hope to attain to the dignity of a Mephis- 
 topheles, are perhaps the best-represented characters 
 at a modern masquerade. It is so easy for people 
 to throw off the mask they wear all their lives for the 
 deception of the world, to don a hideous guise and 
 be themselves for a few brief hours 1 
 
IX. 
 
 FOETUNE-HUNTEKS. 
 
 AN interesting specimen of the human biped is 
 the fortune-hunter. We have them in Saratoga in 
 abundance. Some create a sensation as counts ; 
 some as wealthy Southerners, or patriotic Cubans ; 
 and others come from Heaven only knows where 
 and cut a dash with their fine figures, fine manners, 
 and elegant dress. The fortune-hunter is inde 
 fatigable in learning family histories. He knows 
 the " prospects " of every noticeable damsel in 
 society. He regards every young lady in the light 
 of a probable heiress, counts her jewels, and knows 
 as well as a married man perhaps better the value 
 of her laces and other finery. He knows just how 
 many heirs there are to the wealth of each pater 
 familias, and can guess with the accuracy of a life- 
 insurance agent, as to the probable longevity of such 
 " paternal." He addresses himself rather to the 
 mammas than to the daughters which evinces a 
 shrewd knowledge of human nature. He trusts to 
 his good looks and stylish air to attract the suscep- 
 
58 SPARKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 tible hearts of the younger ladies, while he appears 
 utterly indifferent to them, and all the time he is, 
 like the cunning spider, waiting for his prey. The 
 unlucky heiress who chances at last to fall into his 
 grasp, will never be able to say that he took especial 
 pains to win her, for he will weave his web so 
 skillfully that she will blindly walk therein, seem 
 ingly of her own sweet accord. 
 
 The fortune-hunter is a cool speculator, who con 
 siders every dollar he spends at Saratoga, or New 
 port, or in arranging his own person in the latest 
 style, as a good investment, which shall some day 
 bring him splendid returns. I believe that he 
 would make love to Aunt Prim herself, not caring 
 whether his heiress is young or old, so that she 
 has plenty of money. But our worthy aunt is 
 far too shrewd to be lured by his wiles. 
 
 Just at present, one of these individuals who is 
 eagerly looking out for a wife who will be able to 
 take care of him, (it is to be hoped that she will 
 belong to the Woman's Rights party, and will see 
 that he attends to household affairs, while she at 
 tends to the affairs of the nation !) has his eyes fixed 
 admiringly upon the Goldbug family. 
 
 First, there is Papa Goldbug who really seems 
 to be gifted as was King Midas of olden time, 
 
FORTUNE-HUNTERS. 59 
 
 for everything he touches is turned to precious 
 gold. 
 
 He has been most emphatically, a lucky man. No 
 one knows his pedigree ; it is to be doubted if he 
 knows it himself though rumor has it that he com 
 menced life as a rag-seller, and his father may have 
 been a rag-picker in the very streets through which 
 his costly equipages now roll. It matters not ; he 
 has risen from his rags to purple and fine linen, and 
 society now smiles upon him, and holds out her 
 hand to lift him yet higher ; for society is partial to 
 purple and fine linen. And yet, if still in the 
 midst of his rags, who would notice Papa Goldbug ? 
 
 Ah! society would hold its perfumed handker 
 chief to its fastidious nose, and pass by on the other 
 side, wishing devoutly that the earth were swept of 
 its scum ! What homage we yield to purple and 
 fine linen ! while often regardless of the God-life 
 blind to the divinity which is enshrined in every 
 human creature. We worship the mortal, and 
 ignore the immortal. 
 
 If Papa Goldbug be worthy of the flattering at 
 tentions he now receives, was he not worthy of the 
 same kind consideration years ago, when, he was 
 struggling hard for the success which he has won ? 
 If worthy then, he ia deserving now ; if not, then 
 
60 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 those who honor him, do honor to his gold, not to 
 the man ! 
 
 u The rank is but the guinea's stamp, 
 The man's the gowd for a' that." 
 
 Mamma Goldbug is a dressy, fussy little woman, 
 who revels in silks, and satins, and velvets all day 
 long, scorning, in her newly acquired wealth, to wrap 
 herself in commoner materials. She can afford to 
 wear silk always, and she wishes people to know it. 
 She mixes up real and imitation laces in a mar 
 vellous way, from sheer inability to tell the differ 
 ence between the two. 
 
 She wears gloves usually, for her little fat hands 
 are like twin cabbbage roses, and their ruddy hue 
 causes a world of vexation to the good little woman. 
 She tries hard, poor soul, to live up to her position, 
 but she is a martyr, nevertheless, and her life is a 
 sacrifice to fashion. 
 
 Mamma Goldbug would be far happier queening 
 it over a snug little dairy, with plenty of cows, and 
 chickens, and even pigs, to look after, while she 
 vigorously flourished the" broom or the mop than 
 she is, sitting here in state, dressed to the last extrem 
 ity of fashion, loaded with finery, and striving to 
 imitate the airs and graces of the fashionable people 
 she sees around her. 
 
FORTUNE-HUNTERS. 
 
 But we have yet to mention the jewel for which 
 the fortune-hunter is striving. And this is the little 
 Goldbug; a pretty, pert young lady of eighteen, 
 who possesses a great deal of the shrewdnes which 
 enabled her father to rise in life, and who adapts 
 herself far more easily to the ways of the beau 
 monde than does her martyred mamma. The little 
 Goldbug appears in the morning daintily attired 
 in a becoming white dress, with a little hat upon her 
 head. I have heard gentlemen sneer at the useless- 
 ness of a lady's hat. But how easy it is to be mis 
 taken! Under the little Goldbug's chapeau is 
 tucked away a great quantity of curl-papers and 
 dozens of crimping pins which it would never do to 
 display, and which are twisted so tightly that the 
 poor thing can scarcely close her eyes. I think she 
 sleeps, rabbit-like, with one eye open I So she is a 
 martyr, too, to the tyrant Fashion ! and, moreover, 
 ladies' hats are useful. The little Goldbug wishes 
 to shine, like the stars, at night, and so when the 
 night comes, she emerges gloriously, minus the hat 
 and curl-papers. And the charming, eancy, inde 
 pendent, and more than all, wealthy litijj Goldbug 
 is quite a belle, and has a train of admirers as 
 long as the train of a comet. The only blemish 
 to the little Goldbug's beauty is an odd little 
 
6$ SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 nose, which in vulgar life would be pronounced 
 a decided pug, but which her fashionable admirers 
 designate as piquantly retrousse. Mamma Goldbug, 
 with her unsophisticated heart, would fall an easy 
 prey to the fortune-hunter, were she a widow. And 
 as it is, she is only too apt to prove a good ally in 
 winning her daughter's affection. But that young 
 lady is not so easily to be hoodwinked. She has 
 already refused a half dozen offers, and is in no 
 hurry to rush into matrimony. So this tall and 
 elegant fortune-hunter, who wears a moustache and 
 carries a cane, may woo mamma as assiduously as he 
 can, but it is doubtful whether the sly little Goldbug 
 will ever be caught in his web. 
 
 We had a delightful drive yesterday to the Lake. 
 We rowed across the water by moonlight and drank 
 our fill of romance. Aunt Prim and Bachelor 
 Grumpy sat in the stern of the boat Aunt Prim 
 placing the parasol between them for propriety's 
 sake 'Madge and her latest adorer sat in the centre, 
 and that dear fellow, Fitz Hugh, and myself in the 
 bow of the boat. The stars were all twinkling 
 brightly in the sky, and the moon seemed to laugh 
 as she mirrored herself in the little waves, and re 
 membered how nicely she eclipsed the sun the other 
 day. We all follow the laws of nature ; and what 
 
FORTUNE-HUNTERS. 63 
 
 man would expect to shine when a beautiful woman 
 passed by ? 
 
 Madge's new admirer is a dusky Cuban with 
 magnificent dark eyes, the very beau ideal of a 
 romantic lover. He is all enthusiasm, and all pa 
 triotism. He has a string of names as long as his 
 pedigree, commencing with Luis Francisco. As we 
 glided over the water, he sang a little Spanish love- 
 ditty to which the oars kept time, dipping softly into 
 the lake, and lifting the waves up in the starlight, to 
 let them fall again in myriads of glittering drops. 
 
 Poor Grumpy, overcome by the bewitching in 
 toxication of the hour, looked ready to fall at once 
 upon his knees before Aunt Prim, to declare his 
 devotion, in utter f orgetf ulness of the Widow Dash. 
 And, under the circumstances, my paragon aunt might 
 have accepted his adoration, and with downcast eyes 
 and blushing cheeks might have vowed, by the sweet 
 stars and the moon, to henceforth keep poor Grum- 
 py's buttons in order ! Yes, that's what a man ex 
 pects when he gets married. He gets a wife to keep 
 his buttons in order. 
 
 Fitz Hugh does not wear buttons; he wears 
 diamond studs, and surely, no one could mind look 
 ing after them ! 
 
 Love-making is of course apropos to a moonlight 
 
64 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 night upon a lake. When I find time, I am going to 
 give Fitz Hugh a few lessons in the art. At present 
 he is chiefly absorbed in himself and there is nr 
 need of being in haste, since among so many beauties 
 at Saratoga, he might become too proficient. 
 
 And one finds but little extra time at a waterinff- 
 
 o 
 
 place. Talk about work ! Think of dressing five 
 times a day ; of riding, walking, or boating, flying 
 from one amusement to another all day long and 
 then, when the day is over, of dancing until one or 
 two o'clock in the morning. 
 
 If all this is not work, I should like to know what 
 
X. 
 
 THE day commences at Saratoga with a visit to 
 the Springs ; and, whoever stands beside these ever- 
 living fountains, watching the crowds of people that 
 come and go, cannot but remember how many 
 have come hither during the past century, from the 
 time when Yv r ashington visited this place and 
 thought of purchasing it, up to the present day, 
 when pilgrims come from all parts of the world to 
 drink of the sparkling waters. 
 
 And how mnny feet which have come down to 
 the bubbling spring have passed long since from 
 earth forever ! 
 
 But still the waters gush and bubble just as fresh, 
 just as bright and sparkling as ever, like the little 
 brook that sang 
 
 " And men may come and men may go, 
 But I flow on forever." 
 
 Aunt Prim declares that of all the springs there is 
 none so refreshing, none whose taste is BO pleasant, 
 as the Ilathorn. 
 
 And really it would seem from her enthusiasm 
 
66 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 about this spring that the dear old lady had found 
 a veritable Castaliaii fount in the land of the setting 
 sun, which would Jbring back the bloom of her 
 youth and cause her to live forever. Madge says she 
 is not troubled with rheumatics, refuses to taste of 
 the waters at all, and thinks the best use the springs 
 could be put to, would be to drown troublesome 
 beaux in them ! And this wicked girl visits them for 
 the sole purpose of laughing at the wry faces of the 
 novices as they set down their half-emptied glasses 
 with a most comical grimace. We had a brilliant 
 ball last night at the Congress. All the wit, beauty, 
 elegance, and fashion in Saratoga were there. The 
 evening commenced with a grand masquerade and 
 fancy dress ball for the little folks. They entered 
 with the greatest zest and spirit into the affair. And, 
 although the children in society are nowadays all min 
 iature gentlemen and ladies, aping the airs and affec 
 tations of their elders, the little belles and beaux who 
 figured at this ball were evidently brimming over 
 with glee. And it did one's heart good to see their 
 bright eyes sparkle with all the happiness of child 
 hood, as they went flying through the dance with 
 little feet that scarcely touched the floor, and fairy 
 ringlets fluttering in the waves of melody which 
 flowed from Bernstein's band. 
 
THE "GOOD OLD TIMES." 67 
 
 Like so many sprites from fairy land were the 
 children, dressed in beautiful and fantastic garb, 
 their silvery laughter ringing musically out and 
 mingling with the chime of tiny silver bells, which, 
 fastened on their costumes, kept time as they danced. 
 
 We could not help wishing to be a child again 
 while gazing upon this brilliant scene. The chil 
 dren's ball ended at 10.30, and then the floor was 
 filled with the grown-up people, women elegantly 
 dressed, and men well-known to wealth and fame. 
 
 Every one seemed to be in their best mood, 
 but the free, guileless mirth of the children was 
 lacking. 
 
 The foam had simmered away from the full 
 goblet of life. There was no taste of the dregs at 
 the bottom of the cup ; but pleasure in fashionable 
 life soon loses its novelty, and every joy is welcomed 
 without enthusiasm. 
 
 There was, of course, at this ball a fine dis 
 play of elegant toilettes. The richest silks, point 
 laces and diamonds, were by far too common to 
 merit any special attention. And, alas ! the more 
 extravagant the beautiful dresses, the costlier and 
 more abundant the jewels, the oftener was the 
 wearer of all these utterly dependent upon outward 
 finery, upon mere ostentatious wealth, for winning 
 
68 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 recognition in the world. The blaze of brilliant 
 diamonds cannot conceal the lack of those inner 
 jewels of the soul, which shine out like stars, growing 
 ever brighter as the night-time deepens ; the rustle 
 of costly silks cannot hide the frivolity of speech 
 which jars so often upon the ear when mingling in 
 the throng ; nor all the wealth of the Indies atone 
 for the poverty of human nature, when lacking in all 
 that makes life truly rich and worth living for. 
 
 It is amusing sometimes to hear the dear little 
 old ladies and their elderly escorts lamenting, with 
 hearts that refuse to be comforted, the good old 
 days when the United States Hotel existed in 
 Saratoga, and where congregated all the bright 
 particular stars of society. But if those days were 
 really to return, it is doubtful if they would be found 
 more attractive, or even half so replete with comfort 
 and pleasure as are those of the present time. Think, 
 my dear friend with the silvery hair, and the fond 
 heart filled with longings for joys which can never 
 return think that the world is every day growing 
 wiser and better, and that it is you who cling so 
 tenaciously to the golden joys of the past, that you 
 often neglect to taste the sweeter pleasures of the 
 present. 
 
 Only remember, at the " good old United States," 
 
 
THE "GOOD OLD TIMES." 69 
 
 the weary stairs you had to climb ; the small, un 
 comfortable rooms to which yon resigned yourself 
 perhaps without a murmur ; when now, if you wish 
 to go from the lowest to the highest floor of these 
 immense hotels, you have only to ring the bell, 
 and a beautiful coach, gilded and frescoed, with 
 cushions covered with velvet, awaits your bidding, 
 and you are carried to your own floor without the 
 slightest effort of your own. 
 
 Is not this splendid invention of the elevator the 
 realization of Cinderella's fairy coach, which she 
 summoned at will in the days of yore ? 
 
 And then the roonis you have no longer small 
 and crowded, but large, airy, and beautifully fur 
 nished plenty of attention without paying a fee for 
 every morsel you taste, and so on, my dear aged 
 friend, through a number of advantages which the 
 present has over the past, and which, perhaps, 1 
 could better describe had I myself lived in the 
 " good old times " you so lament. 
 
 There is one relic of the past here at Saratoga to 
 whom every patriotic heart must turn with loving 
 veneration and fondness. This is the widow of 
 a General of revolutionary fame, a dear, charming 
 old lady, who rejoices truly in a delightful old age, 
 surrounded bv hosts of devoted friends. 
 
70 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 How few lives, like hers, glide beautifully and 
 serenely down the stream of life ! Long may she 
 live to clasp the hands of those who seek to do her 
 homage ; to be a link between the dark days of our 
 country's early struggles and the glorious golden 
 future which is spread out before her. 
 
 There is a great deal said, and undoubtedly with 
 truth, about feminine folly as displayed in extrava 
 gance of dress at watering-places, but folly should 
 not always be represented as a woman. 
 
 Does it become a man to carry a lady's parasol ; 
 to wear a long veil ; or to sport a feather in his hat ? 
 
 Surely, if we are encroaching upon man's sphere, 
 lie is becoming jealous of the little accessories 
 women are fond of using to heighten their claims to 
 beauty. 
 
 Since this seems to be the case, I would advise my 
 dear sisters to award these ambitious men the orna- 
 ental (?) chignon they have discarded, that for lack 
 of brains the fashionable exquisite may cultivate his 
 hair. 
 
 What has become of the chignon ? 
 
 Ask of the rag-men who go their dreary rounds 
 and jangle its dirge with bells all out of tune, as they 
 " shovel them in, shovel them in ! " 
 
 Surely here is a theme fit to inspire the heart 
 
THE "GOOD OLD TIMES." 71 
 
 and pen of some enthusiastic poet, who has allowed 
 his heart to be ensnared, alas! too oft, by false 
 alluring curls. 
 
 O 
 
 The chignon is happily among the things which 
 are no more, but false eyebrows have come in. 
 
 Eyebrows which are so constructed as to bristle 
 with indignation when a lover with an empty purse 
 dares to plead his cause, and yet droop with pitying 
 air when love, whose coffers are full of gold, 
 breathes forth its plaint at beauty's feet. These 
 wonderful eyebrows are said to possess the merit 
 of hastening proposals. 
 
 Madge says she will never patronize them for that 
 very reason alone, since courtship is the sweetest 
 time in life, and should be prolonged indefinitely. 
 
 Lovers are charming but husbands and bears are 
 synonymous ! 
 
 Naughty Madge! She is having a desperate 
 flirtation with a handsome Colonel, and, peeping 
 into her mirror this morning, was thrown into hys 
 terics by discovering that she had a horrid pimple 
 on the tip of her nose. 
 
 I wonder if the Colonel has bravery enough to 
 overlook this unlucky, arid decidedly malapropos 
 sortie against Madge's bewitching beauty. 
 
 I really miiBt lay aside my pen, and go down to 
 
72 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the piazza and see. There is nothing in the world 
 so invincible as a woman's curiosity, it is said, and 
 I repeat the adage, adding except a man's. 
 
 Nevertheless, Aunt Prim is taking a nap, and it 
 is plainly my duty to chaperon e Miss Madge. 
 
 And who knows what Fitz Hugh is about while I 
 sit here scribbling ? 
 
XL 
 
 IN THE PARK. 
 
 JUST as I told you in my last, I found that way 
 ward Madge flirting desperately upon the piazza with 
 the Colonel. 
 
 There was a look of thrilling disappointment 
 upon the faces of the two, however, which I at 
 first attributed to my sudden appearance; but I 
 soon found that Madge and the Colonel had been 
 down to take a ramble in the Park, and lo ! they 
 were denied admittance. Now it is well known 
 that the gentle deer roam freely over the velvety 
 lawn of the Park ; but just at this time one of 
 these soft-eyed, amiable creatures is shedding his 
 horns, and refuses to allow any one to approach 
 him. It is thought that his temper has been spoiled 
 by the example set him by the capricious belles and 
 intractable youths who are wont to ramble through 
 the park. However this may be, the park was 
 closed to the public, and a grim policeman stationed 
 at the entrance, who "rose to explain" probably 
 
74: SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 much oftener than was agreeable to him, and the 
 lordly deer was left " monarch of all he surveyed." 
 
 This is the reason that Madge and the Colonel 
 did not enjoy the ramble through this Arcadian 
 grove which they had anticipated. 
 
 But to-day the irascible young deer having been 
 placed in durance vile, until he can learn to appre 
 ciate the aristocracy of Saratoga society and deport 
 himself becomingly to-day we had a delightful 
 ramble in this same park. 
 
 And what a charming spot it is ! How green and 
 smooth the sward, how majestic the tall forest trees, 
 clad in ever-living green ; how cool and inviting its 
 shaded, sequestered nooks, its green, velvety banks, 
 its dark, romantic dells ! 
 
 Ah, yes, all this is truly delightful, and affords a 
 charming taste of rural pleasures after mingling in 
 the gay world at the hotel. 
 
 But, alas ! for " the slip 'twixt the cup and the 
 lip," scarcely have you advanced on the smooth, 
 hard walk, under the shadow of the first tree, when 
 you are warned by a printed placard, " Do not 
 touch the shrubbery ! " 
 
 If you have intended to gather" a few green leaves 
 to form a wreath for your hat, or a sprig of ever 
 green to place in your button-hole as a souvenir of 
 
IN THE PARK. 75 
 
 Saratoga, you are doomed to be disappointed ; for 
 yon are instantly confronted with " Do not walk on 
 the grass." 
 
 Just as though people who have grown weary 
 from travelling for years over hot and hard pave 
 ments would not luxuriate in treading once more 
 the green carpet of Nature, fresh and beautiful as 
 ever, and bringing back the sweet memories of 
 childhood's days. 
 
 Well, there still remained the gently sloping 
 banks, covered with sparse verdure. Madge and 
 the Colonel evidently fancied that they might rest 
 in one of these sequestered spots and have a little 
 chat all by themselves, with nobody but the squirrels 
 and birds for eaves-droppers. 
 
 But no! a peremptory order to "Keep off the 
 bank " loomed up at their very feet. 
 
 Fitz Hugh said that in the face of such deter 
 mined opposition to a fellow's enjoying himself, he 
 was inclined to do something desperate, and would 
 endeavor to hug one of the marble statues which 
 stood so silent and grim above us ; but he should 
 object to being horrified by a sepulchral voice ex 
 claiming in his ear, " Let me alone ! " 
 
 Fitz Hugh and " yours truly " not being given to 
 sentiment, didn't mind, you will perceive, the pro- 
 
76 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 hibitions of the park ; but then it was so hard upon 
 poor Madge and the Colonel. 
 
 There is just one seat in all this extensively culti 
 vated wilderness, upon which two people are al 
 lowed to sit together. 
 
 That is, to sit near each other, for all the other 
 seats are so arranged as to place you about ten feet 
 from some one to whom you would perhaps like to 
 whisper. 
 
 No need of their putting up a placard with 
 "Don't flirt here " in this park, for could anything 
 be more suggestive of such a command than these 
 seats, which have the air of defying each other ? 
 
 It was quite evident that one pair of youthful 
 lovers looked forward with longing eyes and beating 
 hearts to that one seat and lo ! when we arrived 
 there who should be occupying the self-same seat 
 but Bachelor Grumpy and Aunt Prim ! 
 
 It was too much ! In fact, it was rather an em 
 barrassing affair on all sides, since Aunt Prim had 
 given out that she was going to take a nap ; and 
 besides, the dear old lady does not look with favor 
 able eyes upon the Colonel, which, of course, only 
 makes him the more precious in Madge's eyes. 
 
 That girl is surely afflicted with brass buttons or 
 the brain. . 
 
 
IN THE PAKK. 77 
 
 Not far from this one solitary lovers' seat, is a 
 small circle of ground, with a few old trees upon 
 it, so old that their verdure has nearly all disap 
 peared, and there remains only a crown of withered 
 leaves upon their tall tops ; and here there is a sign 
 put up, which informs the children that they can 
 " play upon the grass within the circle." 
 
 How thankful the dear children ought to be for 
 this inestimable privilege ! But I should like to 
 see them gather ten spears of real, genuine grass in 
 that circle. 
 
 To roll and tumble about the green lawns in true 
 childish fashion in the park, to chase the bright- 
 eyed squirrels over the banks, and frolic with the 
 deer, would undoubtedly do the little folks who 
 come here to spend the season a world of good. 
 But no ! Young America dresses like his papa, car 
 ries a cane, wears a watch, and sports a diamond 
 ring. What does he care for rolling in the grass 
 or making mud pies ? 
 
 His little sister is dressed as elaborately as her 
 stately mamma ; and what with her parasol, her 
 fan, and gloves, has no hands at liberty to pull 
 either flowers or weeds. Neither has she the faint 
 est idea in the world of the meaning of a genuine 
 romp. 
 
78 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 To listen to a group of these youngsters convers 
 ing, would inspire you with the idea that you were 
 in the midst of a party of elderly dwarfs. 
 
 Aunt Prim attributes the serenity of her nerves 
 to the plentiful drinking of the spring waters. 
 Madge and I fancy that Bachelor Grumpy's recent 
 arrival has something to do with it. But, being 
 discreet young ladies, we have never hinted our 
 opinions to Aunt P. 
 
 We have a real live count and countess at our 
 hotel. 
 
 " But, la ! " said an old lady this morning. " I 
 don't see but they look just like other folks ; dress 
 like other folks ; and the only good sense I've seen 
 about them is, that when the count swears, he spares 
 the English language, and uses his native tongue." 
 
GEYSER SPRING, SARATOGA. 
 
XII. 
 
 THE GEYSER SPRING. 
 
 THERE is one fact which must always be a source 
 of pathetic regret to any one spending the season at 
 Saratoga, and that is that the human hand is un 
 luckily so constructed as to allow only eight fingers 
 for the display of diamond rings ! 
 
 It is really painful to notice how much of gold, 
 and what a number of gems, one poor finger is re 
 quired to bear. 
 
 Now, if Dame Fashion would only bring thumbs 
 into vogue as ring-fingers, that they also might 
 blaze with jewels, what an inestimable relief 
 it would be to those ladies who not only wear 
 huge cluster 'rings upon every finger, but also inter 
 sperse these with some half dozen or more golden 
 circlets, ornamented with emeralds, rubies, etc., etc. 
 
 Or, since a pride in costly jewels seems to be the 
 ruling passion in so many hearts, why not resign 
 the nose to be adorned with gems as well as the 
 ears? 
 
 It would be quite as Christian a custom, and 
 
80 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 would certainly offer one more chance to dazzle the 
 eyes of society with brilliancy. 
 
 Alas, for the days when gems were worn, not for 
 ornament alone, but for the occult meaning which 
 flashed in their, lambent fires. 
 
 There is not a spark of sentiment in most of the 
 jewels which blaze in Saratoga. They serve merely 
 to enhance beauty, and as tokens of ostentatious 
 wealth. 
 
 How many ladies watch the glow in their dia 
 monds to learn of the truth or falseness of the 
 giver? How many dream that the opal, with its 
 rainbow tints, brings ill-luck to the wearer ? How 
 many feel the charmed spell which the emerald 
 sheds around it ; or see the heart-drops of some 
 loved one in the blood-red ruby ? 
 
 Those who wear jewels right royally, wear them 
 not for their beauty and value alone, but also for the 
 deep significance they bear. 
 
 Yesterday we had a charming drive to the Geyser 
 Spring. Aunt Prim was far too dignified to ride in 
 the public stage, and as she rolled along in state 
 over the sandy country road in her elegant barouche, 
 complacent as a full-blown sunflower, with Bachelor 
 Grumpy seated beside her, she expatiated upon the 
 beauty of the scenery. 
 
THE GEYSEE SPRING. 81 
 
 Probably she meant the bachelor, as she had not 
 her glasses on, and therefore her eyes were unavail 
 able for looking beyond the barouche. 
 
 Madge and I preferred the stage with the rest of 
 our party. What a crowd there was in that stage ! 
 
 There was the Fat Boy, who took up so much 
 room, and La Petite, who was arrayed in such an 
 elaborately fluted and be-ruffled dress that she was 
 in constant horror lest the Fat Boy should sit too 
 close, and Madge, who didn't care a snap for the 
 ruffles on her dress, had no thought for the enormous 
 sash she wore, and therefore rumpled it terribly. 
 
 But what else could be expected of a young lady, 
 who has gilt buttons on the brain, and who gives all 
 her precious time to flirting with the Colonel ? 
 
 The G-eyser Spring is one of the greatest curiosi 
 ties in Saratoga. The water comes spouting up 
 from the earth, rising to a height of thirty or forty 
 feet, and, breaking into a misty spray, falls in mil 
 lions of jewelled drops, with a musical, tinkling 
 sound, back to the fount again. 
 
 One jet of this water is thrown into a large 
 crystal globe, where it surges and boils without 
 ceasing a veritable witches' caldron. 
 
 Madge suggests that this water is kept boiling by 
 
 the subterranean fires at which the Gnomes, the 
 4* 
 
82 SPAKKLES FliOM SARATOGA. 
 
 Trolls, and all those funny little underground folks 
 are cooking their dinners. 
 
 The Fat Boy laughed himself into a shower of 
 perspiration at this odd fancy of Madge's, which 
 made Fitz Hugh terribly nervous. Fitz Hugh never 
 laughs he only dawns an aristocratic smile upon 
 you! 
 
 After we had exhausted our admiration upon the 
 spouting water, snuffed up the carbonic acid gas 
 which arises from its depths, quaffed each other's 
 happiness from its sparkling goblets, and inspected 
 the vast number of broken bottles this vivacious 
 fluid destroys before it submits to the loss of its 
 freedom after all this, the man who attends the 
 spring, struck by the imposing presence of the Fat 
 Boy, the faultless propriety of La Petite* s cos 
 tume, the sparkling eyes of Miss Madge, and the 
 aristocratic air of the company generally, pathetically 
 begged us to sit a few moments for our pictures. 
 
 Unthinking of coming martyrdom, we complied. 
 We were seated just back of the silvery falling mist 
 of the Spring, told that it would require about five 
 minutes to take a good picture, and warned not to 
 move. Oh, what an impostor that man was ! For 
 twenty long minutes at least we sat there, im 
 movable as statues. 
 
THE GEYSER SPRING. 83 
 
 The weather was frightfully warm; streams of 
 glistening drops rolled down the poor Fat Boy's 
 face, and a fly alighted upon the tip of his nose, and 
 refused to spread his wings for flight ; and yet the 
 Fat Boy was forbidden to move ! 
 
 Aunt Prim sat upright and rigid as an icicle, and 
 Bachelor Grumpy, unused to keeping quiet, ner 
 vously twitched his toes, because, as he said after 
 ward, he " thought they wouldn't show in the pict 
 ure" which unfortunate remark absolutely horrified 
 Aunt Prim. 
 
 Minute after minute rolled away, and every sec 
 ond seemed an hour, until we, who had sat down 
 smiling, became as sombre and grave as so many 
 Egyptian mummies. 
 
 Never will you catch our party sitting for pict 
 ures again at Geyser Spring. 
 
 This spouting water was recently discovered, and 
 is claimed to possess more medicinal properties than 
 any other Spring. The taste of the water is very 
 much like that of the Hathorn Spring, and is gener 
 ally liked. 
 
 A short distance from the Geyser is the White 
 Sulphur Spring. 
 
 Why it should be called white is a mystery, since 
 the water has a yellowish tint, and tastes as though 
 
84 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Pluto and his imps had been wont to slake their 
 thirst at the stream before it found its way upward 
 to the sunlight. The water is remarkably clear. 
 
 These two springs are located in a romantic 
 wood ; near by is a pretty fall of foam-crested 
 water, and a stream beneath as clear and limpid as 
 a mirror, spanned by two slender bridges which 
 creaked wof ully as the Fat Boy passed over, and af 
 forded a charming opportunity for Aunt Prim to 
 display a little nervousness, and to cling closely to 
 her escort's arm. 
 
 Crossing that bridge by moonlight might induce 
 the Bachelor to propose. 
 
 I'd like to mention it to Aunt P., but she would 
 overpower me with her wrath. 
 
 What a fall from the sublime to the ridiculous ! 
 
 The Count and Countess just arrived from Paris, 
 whom all the beau monde were dying to see, have 
 opened a jeweller's shop here on Broadway. 
 
 Think of it, foreign nobility catering to the 
 wants of a republic ! 
 
 Sic transit gloria mundi ! 
 
XIII. 
 
 AFTER DINNER. 
 
 THE greatest flirts in Saratoga are the married 
 men especially those who have left their faithful 
 wives at home. 
 
 " Go to the sea-side, .dear, or to some watering- 
 place, and don't mind me. I'll stay at home, but 
 you need recreation from business ; so go." 
 
 The obedient husband complies, and generally 
 contrives to enjoy himself, according to the wishes 
 of his absent spouse. 
 
 But unfortunately all the Benedicts do not belong 
 to the class whose wives are aware of their where 
 abouts. 
 
 Next to the married men (married women have 
 too much conscience usually to flirt) the widows 
 are pronounced to be the nearest aufait in the art of 
 heart-breaking. There is nothing like a gay widow 
 for creating a sensation wherever she appears. And 
 the widows usually have no remorse for the pangs 
 which pierce the hearts of their adorers. Having 
 been themselves the victims of some man's caprices, 
 
86 SPABKLES FitOM SARATOGA. 
 
 they solace their loneliness by revenging themselves 
 upon the masculine sex in general by the most 
 wicked coquetry. 
 
 " Samivel, beware of the vidders ! " said the 
 anxious parent to his son, and all " Samivels " would 
 perhaps do well to follow this advice. 
 
 The sultriness of the dog days is upon us here as 
 well as in the far-off Gotham, but there is ever a 
 cool, delightful breeze to be enjoyed upon the 
 piazzas, or a safe retreat from the fervid sun to be 
 found in -the quiet shadows of the Park. 
 
 And there are" always the cold, invigorating 
 waters of the springs, free to all, where every one 
 may come to slake his thirst, and fancy or believe, 
 that some magic power lurks in the sparkling waters 
 which may restore the lost bloom of youth, bring 
 health and rosiness to the pale invalid, and pour 
 inspiration into the weary brain of the thinker. 
 
 If there be really any merit in mineral waters of 
 inestimable value to man, it surely ought to be found 
 in these cool, bubbling fountains. 
 
 It may be written down as a fact, that very 
 many elderly men and women, habitues of Saratoga, 
 speak volumes in themselves of the marvellous 
 efficacy of the Spring waters, since in no other place 
 seems ever to be gathered so mar y " immense " men 
 
AFTER DINNER. 87 
 
 and women of advanced years as here. This is a 
 subject of general remark, and many a new arrival 
 of a modern giant or giantess forces us to ask, Are 
 we returning to the days of the Titans ? 
 
 One of the pleasantest hours of the day is after 
 dinner, when the people gather upon the piazza oi 
 Congress Hall to listen to the music of the band. 
 This is one of the features of the place. A regular 
 programme is published every day, and throngs 
 of people come from the neighboring hotels to 
 listen. 
 
 It is truly an hour for the dolce far niente* when 
 one may indulge in the most fanciful day-dreams, 
 sitting under the shade of a parasol or of a broad- 
 brimmed hat, and linking golden thoughts of love 
 and romance together with dulcet strains of melody. 
 
 How gently floats love's young and ardent dream 
 upon the waves of song ! 
 
 It would be cruel to tell of all the endless flirta 
 tions which are carried on under the influence of 
 music upon the piazza. 
 
 Madge's black eyes have almost annihilated me 
 already for mentioning her and the Colonel, and so, 
 reluctantly, I forbear to speak of hearts forever 
 ensnared or cruelly broken, while the delicious 
 music throws its weird spell over all. 
 
88 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 The favorite employment of the ladies at this time 
 is working in bright-colored worsteds. "What monu 
 ments of patience and industry they are ! 
 
 The poor dears ! How quietly they accept the 
 compliments bestowed upon their skill in weaving 
 the gorgeous flowers and birds with brilliant plum 
 age, which adorn the bit of canvas upon which they 
 work. 
 
 It is rather wicked to open the eyes of their 
 admiring adorers to the fact that these elaborate 
 patterns are all wrought in the fancy stores, and 
 Miss Industry sets about the simple task of filling 
 up the groundwork ! 
 
 The usual amount of labor performed by these 
 industrious ladies after dinner may be estimated as 
 averaging three stitches a day ! 
 
 The old ladies here are as gay and youthful as 
 the unmarried belles. 
 
 Youth may be expected to go the round of fashion 
 able dissipation with unfaded cheeks, but it is won 
 derful to see how the old ladies mingle in all the 
 festivities of Saratoga, and apparently enjoy them 
 selves with the gayest of the gay. 
 
 Well may the youthful belle look to her laurels, 
 for who so elaborately dressed, so be-puffed, be- 
 ruffled, be-ribboned, be-je welled, as the rich old 
 
AFTEE DINNER. 89 
 
 lady who comes to pass the season at Saratoga ? 
 If she be a beaming, good-natnred widow, what 
 scores of ancient adorers she counts in her train ! 
 If married, she becomes the centre of a bevy of 
 elderly dames who admire and envy her dresses, her 
 carriage, her jewels, and flatter her into the belief 
 that she is looking " just as young as ever." 
 
 Aunt Prim has reformed that is, she now con 
 sents to add propriety to the ball-room by her 
 august presence, while last year she would have 
 filled the air with thunder-clouds by her frowns in 
 such a scene. 
 
 But who could object to a ball when the band 
 plays such enchanting music? So bewitching a 
 charm might tempt even the most scrupulous to join 
 in the naughty waltz, and even Aunt Prim some 
 times forgets to frown on Madge as she goes whirl 
 ing by upon the arm of some adorer. 
 
 It may easily be believed that " music hath 
 charms to sooth the savage breast," if it can soften 
 the prejudices of Aunt Prim. Not that the dear 
 old lady is at all savage , but then she is so terribly 
 set in her ways. 
 
 And such people do sometimes possess the faculty 
 of making other people decidedly uncomfortable. 
 
90 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 For how can one be expected to shine when there is 
 always a thunder-cloud gathering ? 
 
 There is a strange mixture of piety and frivolity 
 at the Springs. While hundreds of people come 
 expressly to dance and make merry every passing 
 hour, just as many others come to point out the 
 wickedness and folly of worldly pleasures, and the 
 fearful brevity of time. You may leave the 
 crowded parlor, filled with a brilliant throng of 
 richly dressed women and courtly men of the world, 
 where the glitter of the lamps, the hum of many 
 voices, the. merry laugh, the innocent jest, and the 
 soft tones of music stealing in from the ball-room, 
 all conspire to lend a witching charm to the hour, 
 and to make every one happy within himself ; and 
 just a little way up the street, not five minutes' 
 walk, you may enter a church just as crowded as 
 the brilliant drawing-room you have left, and there 
 you will be told that all worldly pleasures are sinful ; 
 that the awful day of judgment approaches, and 
 that all should flee from the wrath to come. But 
 when the hour of worship is over, many of these 
 church-goers return to the hotels and mingle with 
 the wicked world they have just heard denounced, 
 without apparently the least fear of corruption from 
 " evil communications." 
 

XIV. 
 
 ADONIS AT THE BALL. 
 
 THE young gentlemen visiting Saratoga tlink of 
 holding a meeting for the purpose of demanding 
 their rights. 
 
 A great deal of dissatisfaction has been occasioned 
 among these fashionable youths from the fact that 
 they have appeared at every evening hop and ball 
 of the season in the most elaborate attire, and yet 
 not the slightest mention of their appearance has 
 been made in the papers. 
 
 If young ladies complain that they have not been 
 " noticed " in print, what shall this army of indig 
 nant young men say at this shameful neglect of 
 them? 
 
 In order that this state of things shall exist no 
 more, and that wounded vanity may be soothed, we 
 will attempt to describe " a few of the toilettes 
 worn " by the gentlemen present at the last grand 
 ball. 
 
 Madge has agreed to furnish a few notes. 
 
 Fitz Hugh says that his name is not to be men- 
 
92 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 tioned, therefore we leave to fancy the task of por 
 traying the appearance of this charming youth upon 
 this particular occasion. Let it suffice to say that 
 Fitz Hugh is always adorable. 
 
 Mr. Snifkins, a keen young lawyer from the 
 South, was tastefully dressed in a claw-hammer 
 coat, lavender pantaloons, lavender necktie, patent- 
 leather boots, and his imposing forehead was uncon 
 cealed by an excess of hair. Yellow moustache, 
 decidedly en train, gracefully drooping two inches 
 over his lips. 
 
 Don Carlos Louis Pietro Yalmaseda y de Castro, a 
 tall young Spaniard with a distingue air, wore a 
 black frock coat, light pantaloons, white necktie, 
 and his mass of black hair brushed upright, d la 
 Pompadour. 
 
 Madge was much impressed by his appearance, 
 and thought she would like to have a flirtation with 
 this dark-eyed youth, but Miss Airs said he was 
 too fierce, and that she would be absolutely afraid 
 of him. 
 
 Fitzaddle was as gushing as ever, in a new 
 swallow-tail, black inexpressibles, heavenly-blue 
 cravat, side-whiskers, and moustache dressed with 
 elaborate care. Bald on the crown of his head. 
 
 Young Gingersnap caused a flutter of admiration 
 
ADONIS AT THE BALL. 93 
 
 
 
 among a bevy of belles as he entered the room, 
 bringing the perfumed spices of Araby with him. 
 and presenting the most faultless toilette of the 
 evening. Black, swallow-tailed coat French swal 
 low, not American black double-perpendiculars, 
 white vest, inimitable linen, diamond solitaire studs, 
 and cravat of white point-lace. Hair parted in the 
 middle ; ambrosial curls arranged in profusion upon 
 each side. White kids. 
 
 Gingersnap is said to be the handsomest man in 
 New York. Of course he is one of the " reigning " 
 beaux of Saratoga. It is estimated that he has 
 broken at least a thousand tender hearts during this 
 season. 
 
 The poor dears ! It is not yet certain which has 
 most captivated them, the ambrosial curls or the 
 diamond solitaires. 
 
 Mr. Limberflap seemed to be the next favorite 
 with the young ladies, being a pale, melancholy- 
 looking youth, addicted to writing verses, and also 
 perfectly versed in the art of making compliments. 
 His general character may perhaps be best de 
 scribed as being slightly enthused. Limberflap 
 wears eye-glasses, and has met with a sad loss of 
 hair. 
 
 In fact, the excess of bald heads and weak eyes 
 
94: SPARKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 among the young men who visit Saratoga is no doubt 
 to be attributed to the overflow of ideas and the 
 great mental labor performed by them. 
 
 Claw-hammer coats and bald heads may be 
 safely said to be a distinguishing feature of every 
 fashionable ball. 
 
 As we have not time at present to particularize 
 further as to masculine toilettes at the ball, we will 
 only mention a few names of those present : 
 
 Mr. Goldfinch, the " catch " of the season, whose 
 father revels in gold mines, etc. ; Mr. Adolphus 
 Swantree, who flushes his cheeks with paint, and 
 powders his hair upon full-dress occasions ; Judge 
 Darling, who has been twenty years to Saratoga in 
 search of a rich wife, and has not as yet found her. 
 Poor fellow ! How strange that no one is willing to 
 become " the old man's Darling ! " 
 
 Fitz Hush has conceived a horrid idea. He 
 
 O 
 
 talks of having the back of his head shaved, since 
 nearly every young man in fashionable life has a 
 bald spot upon the top of his head. In fact, a 
 young man is scarcely considered eligible, unless he 
 has lost his hair and wears eye-glasses these 
 being received as almost indisputable evidence that 
 he has always moved in the best society. 
 
 Now that we have paid due homage to masculine 
 
ADONIS AT THE BALL. 95 
 
 finery, and have fairly represented Adonis at the 
 ball, we- turn our thoughts to the fairer sex, and to 
 the marvellous gait which is now in vogue with our 
 belles. But are we able to adequately describe this 
 latest acquirement in this fine art of walking? 
 Alas ! our pen falters, and our courage fails before 
 the arduous task. 
 
 What young lady can, for one momejit, imagine 
 that she- appears graceful as she moves up and down 
 the long piazza with the Saratoga wriggle f 
 
 The old ladies and the children are the only 
 feminines who deign to walk naturally. The 
 young belle, as she promenades, draws a long train 
 behind her, this train being surmounted by a be 
 wildering arrangement of puffs, ruffles, etc., styled 
 &panier / and resting upon all this, is a bright- 
 colored sash of marvellous width. Now this almost 
 indescribable confusion of dry-goods is twitched, 
 first to the right, then to the left ; then it receives 
 a gentle shake, very like to that which an old hen 
 gives in settling her ruffled feathers ! And this, as 
 near as I can convey any idea of it, is the Saratoga 
 wriggle ! 
 
 With her head erect, her body bent forward, her 
 little feet tilted up in dainty slippers with heels 
 three inches high, the Saratoga belle ambulates up 
 
96 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 and down the piazza, now smiling, and now froA7n- 
 ing upon her crowd of admirers, who do their 
 best to escape being tripped up in the folds of her 
 long train. 
 
 Ah, me ! I wonder if they succeed as well in 
 escaping the entanglement of her bewildering 
 charms ? 
 
 I have to. keep a sharp lookout upon Fitz Hugh ! 
 I should be sorry to see the dear fellow so^egregi- 
 ously taken in, as he might be, did I not kindly 
 play the duenna over him. 
 
 If any young man is indulging himself with fond 
 dreams of marrying one of these fashionable beau 
 ties, I would advise him not to be rash, but to in 
 vest in a large doll, which he may dress in rich 
 silks, and decorate with costly gems ; may furnish 
 with curls, braids, "switches," and "rats," paint and 
 powder, slippers, fans, and gloves ad infinitum, and 
 set it up in his heart to adore ! 
 
 I think he would find his doll quite as much of 
 a companion, and certainly a less expensive one, 
 than his fair Saratoga belle would prove herself to 
 be. 
 
MISS AIRS. 
 
XV. 
 
 MISS AIRS. 
 
 had a new divertissement in Saratoga last 
 evening. The gas suddenly went out, and the 
 thousands of people assembled here were left, to 
 their great dismay, in the dark. The ladies were 
 busily engaged in preparing for the grand ball an 
 nounced for that evening, and great was the be 
 wilderment of hair-dressers and ladies' maids, to say 
 nothing of the disappointment of their fair mis 
 tresses. The ball, of course, was postponed, and 
 everybody clamored for the " Saratoga Dip." 
 
 The "Dip" soon appeared, in the shape of in 
 numerable candles which cast a dim, mysterious 
 light through the great parlors, and the vast halls 
 became the scene of many a ghostly terror, since 
 there was nothing to relieve the grim darkness, save 
 now and then a sable waiter appearing far in the 
 distance bearing a twinkling taper, his great eyes 
 rolling horribly and his white apron fluttering in the 
 gloom like the garb of a ghost. 
 
 In the parlors the young people, and, I dare say, 
 
98 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the old, also, improved the opportunity for carrying 
 on sly flirtations, and so great was the confusion that 
 the Colonel came very near hugging Aunt Prim in 
 the dark instead of Miss Madge. It was amusing to 
 hear the excuses and apologies offered as soon as the 
 lights appeared. The untimely failure of the gas, 
 after all, afforded a in'eat fund of amusement to 
 
 " O 
 
 those people who are inclined to look cheerfully 
 upon the bright side of even a tallow dip. A 
 " shadow dance " was improvised in the parlor as 
 being exceedingly apropos to the occasion. The 
 presence of an English nobleman created quite a 
 flutter among the belles. 
 
 Madge snubbed the Colonel dreadfully when she 
 captured the " live lord," and walked away with him 
 to try the effect of Republican eyes in conquering an 
 English aristocrat. 
 
 How. she succeeded I am unable to say, but she 
 says he's "nice," and just as good as though he 
 were not a lord. I must not omit to mention among 
 the distinguished people who attended the last ball, 
 the presence of Miss Airs, and Mr. and Mrs. Puffy. 
 
 Miss Airs, as is her wont, appeared in a most 
 elaborate toilette. This, the pen of a graphic 
 writer might easily describe, but were I asked to 
 mention one-half of the infinite number of arts and 
 
MISS AIRS. 99 
 
 wiles, of frowns and smiles, of studied graces and 
 endless caprices, with which Miss Airs contrives to 
 captivate her adorers, I should expire upon the 
 spot. 
 
 Arid then her walk, as she promenaded around 
 the ball-room, the " observed of all observers ! " 
 
 The Grecian Bend has passed away ; but what 
 name shall be given to the new defo unity which 
 foolish women attach to their backs to impart what 
 they consider style to their costume ? 
 
 Truly the camel has some excuse for wearing a 
 hump, since from it he gains both sustenance and 
 strength to support him through long journeys ; but 
 of what use is the monstrous hump which Miss Airs 
 considers as indispensable to a full-dress toilette, ex 
 cept it be a vade mecum of feeding foolish pride ? 
 
 With face and neck both powdered and painted ; 
 with hair frizzled to the last degree of the coiffeurs 
 art ; with shoulders raised and brought forward ; 
 with body inclined to an obtusje angle, the better to 
 follow an obtuse head ; with panier so arranged as 
 to extend two feet in the rear over a court train 
 which sweeps the floor, Miss Airs, leaning upon the 
 arm of her dear Addlepate, sets forth for a prome 
 nade. 
 
 For long, mortal hours has she practised before 
 
100 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 her mirror, and now witness the triumph of her 
 skill in the art of walking. 
 
 The right foot is placed forward then follows a 
 halt then the left is brought suddenly up with a 
 twitch which gives an indescribable motion to the 
 ribbons and laces upon the hump, and causes a gen 
 eral flutter of ruffles and flounces, which forbids the 
 idea of the elaborate toilette of Miss Airs ever being 
 lost in its wearer. 
 
 To nothing under heaven may the walk of Miss 
 Airs, as she sallies around the ball-room, be com 
 pared, except to the proud strutting of the peacock 
 as it spreads its brilliant plumage for admiration. 
 
 Saratoga has its " Bridge of Smiles " which spans 
 the street about fifty feet above the ground and con 
 nects the ball-room of Congress Hall with the hotel. 
 Upon festive nights it is spread with a rich carpet, 
 and illuminated with Chinese lanterns of various 
 colors. If the night be stormy, the bridge is pro 
 tected by an awning, but if fine, it affords a rare 
 opportunity for contemplating the starry heavens, or 
 for a pair of lovers to whisper soft nothings into 
 each other's ears while .they pretend to be watching 
 the moon. 
 
 In fact, no more romantic place for a moonlight 
 flirtation could well be imagined than this beautiful 
 

 MISS AIRS. 101 
 
 bridge, with its swinging lights, with its far-off 
 canopy of blue studded with twinkling stars, and 
 the soft, delicious music of the band floating out 
 upon the night from the brilliant ball-room. 
 
 If there were not always that Argus-eyed ticket- 
 man at the other end of the bridge to spoil the 
 romance ! 
 
 Many a time have I heard young Limberflap com 
 plain of the heat of the room after a dance, and 
 beg Miss Airs to come for a few minutes upon the 
 bridge. 
 
 Limberflap, as w.e have said, is a sentimental 
 youth who is given to writing verses. But if he 
 needs the presence of Miss Airs upon the bridge to 
 inspire him when he composes ditties to the moon, 
 then those ditties will lack inspiration, for Miss Airs 
 always remembers that ticket-man, and gently 
 refuses. 
 
 Besides, she is not much given to romance, and 
 she has enough of Limberflap's adoring glances in 
 the ball-room, without endangering the starch in her 
 muslins, and the crimp in her hair, out there in the 
 damp. There are other reasons also for Miss Airs 
 refusing to walk upon the bridge with Limberflap. 
 
 The end of the season is drawing near, and there 
 is Snipkins, the " only son of his father," and that 
 
102 RPAKKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 father a millionaire, and Miss Airs has not as yet 
 made the slightest impression upon his heart. 
 
 What will her mother say ? This may be her last 
 season at Saratoga, for the finances of the family 
 are running low, and one cannot be turning old 
 silks forever! Should Snipkins ask her to walk 
 upon the bridge, regardless either of the damp air 
 or of the ticket-man, she would go. 
 
 The masquerade ball had been looked forward to 
 by this rather passe belle as affording her one last 
 grand opportunity of appearing in a new phase, in 
 which she might possibly captivate Snipkins. She 
 chose the costume of a Swiss shepherdess, and im 
 agined herself to be the very personification of in 
 nocence and loveliness. 
 
 But whoever saw a rural maiden walking with a 
 crook in her back, instead of in her hands and her 
 hands swinging from the wrists in that peculiar 
 style known as the Droop ? 
 
 But where was Snipkins at the ball ? His indi 
 viduality was for a brief time lost in that of a 
 Spanish cavalier. But, alas ! forgetting himself for 
 a moment, he raised his hat, and although he still 
 retained his mask, Miss Airs knew him. His bald 
 head betrayed him ! 
 - That was a happy moment for Araminta, and she 
 
MISS AIRS. 103 
 
 improved it. She managed to inspire Snipkins 
 with a terrible state of curiosity as to her identity, 
 and just as sure as "pity is akin to love," so is curi 
 osity akin to a desperate flirtation. Where were 
 Snipkins' eyes that he failed to recognize that 
 affected walk and those languishing hands ? 
 
 Alas for Love, that he is blind ! 
 
 Mrs. Puffy returned from her trip to Lake 
 George on purpose to attend this masquerade ball. 
 She was bent on beguiling the ancient Puffy into 
 some sly love-making under the mask that she 
 might tease him forever after about it. But lo ! 
 in the bewilderment of dominos and masques, of 
 clowns and harlequins, Humpty-Dumpties, Satans, 
 tambourine girls and pretty shepherdesses, dukes 
 and jockeys, Highland laddies and bluebeards, con 
 trabands and cavaliers among all these Puffy was 
 not to be found. 
 
 lie knew enough not to uncover his little bald 
 pate, and, as the evening wore away, Mrs. Puffy be 
 came exceedingly anxious lest her spouse should be 
 enacting the fond lover to some one else instead of 
 to herself, as she had intended. 
 
 And no doubt he was ! 
 
 Poor Mrs. Puffy ! An amusing incident which 
 
104 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 occurred during her foreign tour was related to us 
 to-day. It is too good to keep. 
 
 Visiting an artist's studio in Rome, Mrs. Puffy 
 became much interested in a painting representing 
 David killing Goliath. Noting its rather dingy 
 appearance, she said to the artist : " That must be 
 quite an old picture." " About a hundred years 
 old," was the reply. " Ah ! painted by the old mas 
 ters, then," exclaimed Mrs. Puffy. " Wliy^ it must 
 be a Madonna ! " 
 
 What Mrs. Puffy's ideas of a Madonna were at 
 that moment as she cast another admiring glance at 
 the huge form of Goliath expiring at the feet of 
 David, it would be impossible to conjecture. 
 
XVI 
 
 THE SARATOGA DKOOP. 
 
 to have acquired the Saratoga Droop, is 
 to be shockingly behind the fashionable spirit of 
 the age. 
 
 Miss Airs has it to perfection. I caught Fitz 
 Hugh himself this morning trying to catch it. 
 
 Young Limberflap, the favorite of all the young 
 ladies who are so happy as to know him, being rather 
 a lady-like young fellow as well as an acknowledged 
 lady-killer, does it beautifully. 
 
 But some unsophisticated people, some one 
 whose education does not keep up to the fashionable 
 improvements (?) of the clay, may not exactly under 
 stand what the Saratoga Droop is. 
 
 Therefore, O Muse, inspire my pen that it may 
 teach the stupid world the sublime art of carrying 
 its hands in such a manner as unmistakably to ex 
 press I've nothing to do ! 
 
 That is what the hands say here, and that is why 
 the Saratoga Droop is so popular. 
 
 And this is the way they do it : The elbows are 
 
 5* 
 
106 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 pressed closely against the sides, the lower parts of 
 the arms are then raised toward the chest, and the 
 hands hang listlessly forward. 
 
 The tout ensemble of the Droop is very much like 
 the wings of a chicken prepared for a broil. 
 
 This position of the hands does very well for the 
 display of diamond rings; also for the fan which 
 dangles from one hand, and the dainty white mou- 
 choir which droops from the other. 
 
 But the principal object of thus carrying the 
 hands is, as I have mentioned before, simply to 
 express that such hands have nothing to do are 
 idle hands, listless hands ; hands that lay hold of 
 nothing earnest in life, and have but a limp, feeble 
 touch for even the pleasures they strive to grasp. 
 
 Speaking of hands as being indicative of char 
 acter, it is odd to reflect what an opportunity for 
 studying the different phases of human nature is. 
 afforded by such a dance as the last iigure in the 
 Lancers. 
 
 The touch of no two hands is alike ; one touches 
 your fingers lightly, as though fearful of crushing 
 rose leaves; another clasps your hand warmly, a 
 momentary welcome, and an adieu, from a stranger 
 whom you pass in the journey of life ; a third 
 catches your hand with a quick grasp and drops it 
 
THE SARATOGA DROOP. 107 
 
 suddenly as one who picks up pebbles and casts 
 them away again, having mistaken them for gems. 
 But the fourth and last is the cold, damp touch 
 of a lifeless hand, which sends a disagreeable chill 
 to one's heart. People with such hands should 
 always wear gloves, for contact with the cold 
 skin of a toad could not be more disagreeable, 
 or more suggestive of the horrors of cavernous 
 tombs ! 
 
 My friend S. who, though something satirical, is 
 by no means ill-natured, has taken up the matter of 
 the Droop, and complains bitterly of the custom 
 among ladies, both dames and damsels, which some 
 have happily designated as the " Kangaroo flop." 
 
 And this is what he has to say : 
 
 " What can be more ungraceful than the fashion 
 of carrying the hands in that elevated, far-reaching 
 manner, and looking as if they were dislocated at 
 the wrists ? 
 
 " And yet nearly half the women, old and young, 
 have caught the foolish trick, and (see there, for 
 example ?) go dangling their hands before them, 
 much like so many walking kangaroos, and exactly 
 like so many Shaker saints as they appear in their 
 ridiculous devotional dances. 
 
 " But then the poor kangaroos have the excuse of 
 
1C 8 SPARKLES FKOM SAKATOGA. 
 
 nature, and the Shakers the plea of religion, while 
 their imitators have no apology whatever, save that 
 other poor fools are doing the same thing ; that, in 
 short, it is 'the fashion' at present ; just as the pre 
 posterous "' back stoop ' was for a season, three or 
 four years ago. 
 
 " We all know that likeness-taking paper-cutters 
 were the death of the stooping abomination ; why 
 don't the same excellent executioner kill off the 
 human kangaroo in the same way ? lie could do 
 it in ten days, and do ' society' an incalculable 
 service." 
 
 But Saratoga has the infection of a worse vice, 
 or folly, than the droop, and that is, fashionable 
 slang. 
 
 Just an hour ago, while walking upon the piazza, 
 we overheard the remark, " My dear, you've got a 
 l>unged~up eye ! " We turned, expecting to see some 
 female member of the canaille who had lost her 
 way and strayed among refined people, when lo ! 
 w r e beheld a woman dressed in the height of 
 fashion, with costly laces upon her garb, and with 
 rich jewels gleaming in rivalry of a pair of bright 
 dark eyes. 
 
 It was evidently she who had made use of the 
 above elegant expression ! 
 
THE SARATOGA DROOP. 109 
 
 h It don't pay " is a phrase so common with both 
 men and women, as scarcely to be noticed as a 
 slang phrase ; still it might be inferred from this 
 universally used remark that we were a selfish, pen 
 urious people, who thought nothing worth undertak 
 ing or accomplishing unless it would pay ! " It 
 does-n't fay ! " may suit the coarse lips of an ig 
 norant man, but it ill becomes the rosy mouth of a 
 youthful belle. 
 
 "It's perfectly dreadful!" "Most horrible!" 
 " The awf idlest thing you ever heard ! " are expres 
 sions constantly used by young ladies of the day to 
 express very simple and commonplace affairs. 
 And one wonders, when hearing the English lan 
 guage so exhausted upon the positive degree, where 
 words may be found to express the superlative f 
 
 If not found in legitimate terms, they have to be 
 invented, as witness the following : 
 
 " My dear," exclaimed Miss Airs, " you should 
 have seen Ned this morning ! You know he's a 
 cold-hearted fellow, and I've nearly exhausted my 
 stock of new dresses in trying to break his heart ; 
 but he's caterpillared at last ! " 
 
 Now, what in the world Miss Airs meant by 
 caterpillar ed, we leave the student of entomology to 
 explain. 
 
110 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 I have no patience with Aunt Prim, who says 
 that young Limberflap is a " nice young man." If 
 dressing in exquisite taste, parting one's hair in the 
 middle, affecting the wearing of veils, and cultivat 
 ing the Saratoga Droop constitute a nice young 
 man, then this elegant Limberflap is a perfect 
 charm. 
 
 Just as pretty, and just as useful as the charm 
 one hangs upon a necklace, or lets dangle from a 
 chain just so charming is young Addlepate. 
 
 But Miss Airs has this latter young gentleman so 
 encompassed by the bewilderment of her beauty 
 and graces, that he does not know whether he is 
 a charm or not. 
 
XVII. 
 
 A KAINY DAY. 
 
 PICTURE to yourself, dear reader, a rainy day in 
 Saratoga ! 
 
 No drives, no races, no ramble through the Park, 
 no promenading the piazzas, no anything, except 
 huddling together in little groups in the parlors, 
 watching the industrious plying of needle and thread 
 by those young ladies who are addicted to worsted 
 work, listening to the gossip of the old ladies, and 
 trying to shut your eyes to the desperate flirtations 
 with which the younger people endeavor to wile 
 away the % hours and the hearts of their adorers at 
 the same time. 
 
 There was not a young lady who dared to put her 
 head out of doors yesterday, for the damp air is an 
 inveterate enemy to crimps and curls, and a sad ex- 
 poser of "rats" and "mice," to say nothing of taking 
 all pretensions out of newly done-up frills and ruffles. 
 
 So the young ladies contented themselves in the 
 morning with taking possession of the corners in fact 
 there was not a corner to be had after ten o'clock 
 
112 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 and while apparently absorbed in weaving bright- 
 colored threads in and out of the canvas, they sought 
 to spin a little romance into the becrusted hearts of 
 the young men who gathered around them. 
 
 But there is not much romance in a Saratoga 
 flirtation. People whose whole lives are devoted to 
 the love of display are not given to sentiment, and 
 a genuine affaire du ewur is far rarer at the Springs 
 than diamonds of the first water. Saratoga is re 
 nowned for its curious collection of old bachelors. 
 
 Season after season they come to rejuvenate, by 
 drinking the waters and basking in the soft light of 
 young beauty's eyes, and go away just as callous, 
 just as indifferent to feminine charms, and just as 
 much wrapped up in their own selfishness, as ever. 
 
 It is whispered, however, that many of these an 
 tiquated youths have been the unhappy .victims of 
 little romances which occurred here long years ago, 
 when some pretty trifler cast away the heart she 
 had won so easily, and accepted the hand of a 
 wealthier rival. 
 
 It's all very well to waltz and chat with Charles 
 Augustus ; to lean upon the arm of Adolphus and 
 look unutterable things into his eyes ; but, if Charles 
 Augustus or Adolphus have neither of them an 
 income sufficient to support the extravagances of a 
 
A EAINY DAY. 113 
 
 fashionable wife, what is the use of marrying tnem ? 
 Miss Airs knows very well what she is about in. 
 her daily routine at Saratoga, and plays her cards 
 with admirable skill. She knows just when to en 
 courage Adolphus with a tender look, and a little 
 sigh, which does not come exactly from her heart, 
 but rather from the tightness of her dress, and she 
 knows, also, just when to snub him for the sake of 
 Fitzaddle, whose father is a millionaire, and who 
 has, besides, a fortune in his own right. 
 
 The most amusing incident of the rainy day was 
 at the dinner-table, when poor Bachelor Grumpy 
 essayed to eat an ear of corn and drew out all his 
 teeth at the first bite ! 
 
 Luckily, Aunt Prim did not see him, and he 
 gradually recovered his equanimity. 
 
 At the dessert, however, the dear old lady was 
 flustrated by hearing a soft whisper in her ear : 
 
 " Will you have a kiss, ma f am ? " 
 
 Now that was a pretty question to ask a lady in a 
 small dining-room where about seven hundred peo 
 ple sit down to refresh their appetites, and it is no 
 wonder that Aunt Prim looked aghast. 
 
 Bachelor Grumpy, perceiving her sudden embar 
 rassment, pointed to the bill of fare, and after all it 
 was only a sugar kiss ! 
 
114 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Madge says Aunt P. looked really disappointed. 
 
 Apropos of the dinner, a trifle over fifteen hun 
 dred guests to be fed and lodged, and looked after 
 generally, might be supposed to perplex the mind 
 of any one man but these Saratoga landlords have 
 a wonderful talent for making room, and, like poor 
 Oliver Twist, are always clamoring for more. And 
 then to think of the " growlers " who find shelter 
 under these vast roofs ! 
 
 There is the testy old gentleman who is always 
 complaining of his waiter, and who has no patience 
 to wait his turn at the table ; the fastidious lady with 
 a delicate appetite, who eats three chickens a day, 
 half a dozen eggs, two fishes, to say nothing of veg 
 etables, fruits, cake, and cream, and then declares 
 she has nothing to eat ! 
 
 Ah ! think of the poor chickens that every day 
 bewail the loss of their heads with fantastic dance 
 upon their expiring toes, to feed this vast multitude 
 of hungry individuals ! Some day we intend to ex 
 plore the subterranean regions of this vast hotel, and 
 to inquire into the secrets of its menage. 
 
 Aunt Prim says it is quite time that Madge and 
 I learn something about housekeeping. 
 
 But we haven't time to think about that now. 
 
 And there are the people who complain of climb- 
 
A RAINY DAY. 115 
 
 ing up the stairs, and yet refuse to trust themselves 
 in the elevator. 
 
 It is amusing to see the nervous, timid people 
 who cannot resign themselves to the benefits of 
 modern inventions, and go climbing the wearying 
 stairs, even up to the fifth floor, for fear the elevator 
 will fall! 
 
 To hear the complaints of these poor unfortunates, 
 who, according to their own accounts, can get noth 
 ing to eat, and have nothing to wear, one would 
 suppose Saratoga to be a pitiable place to live in. 
 
 But it is to be suspected that those who complain 
 the most are those who have never been used to 
 luxuries at home, and, therefore, cannot appreciate 
 them abroad. 
 
 After dinner we had music in the parlor instead 
 of upon the piazza, as usual. 
 
 Bright fires were glowing in the grates, and 
 everybody having resigned themselves to a rainy 
 day, began to look cheerful, and to really enjoy a 
 cosey, old-fashioned afternoon. 
 
 In the evening there was a grand ball at the . 
 
 But balls at the do not appear to be very 
 
 popular. The people up there are so dreadfully 
 prim, so absorbed with the idea of their own iin- 
 Dortance, their pedigree, wealth, etc., that they look 
 
116 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 with distrustful eyes upon every new-comer, and re 
 fuse to be on intimate terms with any one. 
 
 How these people contrive to enjoy themselves at 
 a stiff, formal ball, where they sit in stately rows, 
 looking grimly at their neighbors, and elevating 
 their aristocratic noses at those who venture to join 
 the dance, is beyond all understanding. 
 
 Verily there must be a world of satisfaction in 
 the simple consciousness of one's own superiority. 
 
 It is a wonder that these very " old families " can 
 content themselves with life in a Republican coun 
 try at all. 
 
XVIII. 
 
 OLD BACHELORS. 
 
 LIFE at Saratoga is losing much of the formality 
 w/iich distinguished it in former years. There is 
 more sociability; and, therefore, more enjoyment. 
 Instead of three or four changes of toilette, two 
 costumes in one day are allowed to be quite suf 
 ficient for the most fashionable lady to be irresistible 
 in. 
 
 What pleasure there can be in spending at least 
 one-quarter of a day in gazing at one's self and 
 one's dry-goods reflected in a mirror, passes all 
 understanding. 
 
 And even this waste of time was scarcely sufficient 
 for the making of four toilettes in one day. 
 
 It may be that Flora McFlimsy became impatient 
 at being obliged to lose so much of Charles Augus 
 tus' charming society and hence the revolution ! 
 
 If, as a clever writer remarks, we could only, 
 " like Raphael's angels, be finished up at the ears 
 with a pair of wings," what a comfort it would be ! 
 
 No bothersome trains, no wearisome ruffles and 
 
118 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 flounces, no remorseless stays and ridiculous paniers, 
 no shivering under loads of apparel, or melting under 
 a summer sun, and wishing that Eve hadn't eaten 
 the apple, and that we might have lived in Paradise 
 forever in blissful ignorance of milliners and dress 
 makers ! 
 
 Finished np at the ears with wings, a modern 
 belle would need nothing but frizzled locks and her 
 paint and pomade box to render her adorable. 
 
 One of the most distinctive and peculiar features 
 of the season at Saratoga, as we have remarked, is the 
 frightful prevalence every year of old bachelors. 
 
 Just as sure as the bee and the humming-bird re 
 turn with the summer to bask in the sun and flutter 
 among the flowers, just so sure the bachelors leave 
 their gloomy garrets, located Heaven knows where, 
 to sun their frigid lives among the belles of Sara 
 toga. 
 
 Such an array of them ! Such a display of 
 them ! 
 
 Wizen-faced, crooked-back, bow-legged ; some with 
 luxuriant heads of hair plentifully sprinkled with 
 gray most of them frightfully bald, with their 
 sparse locks brushed out in the primmest manner ; 
 and some, fearful to relate, without any hair at all, 
 and with their empty craniums attired in wigs ! 
 
OLD BACHELORS. 119 
 
 Crusty and cynical, crabbed and mystical, for 
 lorn and miserable why come the old bachelors 
 here? 
 
 Empty-headed, of course, for no man with sufficient 
 wit or wisdom would be an old bachelor ; empty- 
 hearted, for no man with a heart ever lived to be an 
 old bachelor. 
 
 A fair and fat widow suggests that these old 
 habitues of Saratoga have been all these years 
 looking for rich wives. Poor fellows ! They belong 
 to the forlorn hope. As though a pretty girl with 
 youth, wealth, and beauty at her command was going 
 to marry a snuffy old bachelor ! Really, the egotism 
 of these men surpasses all belief. 
 
 Leaving the young girls, it is quite useless for the 
 old bachelor to pay his devoirs to a widow. Widows 
 are far too wise to be entrapped into marrying an 
 obstinate, antiquated old bachelor. To manage a 
 man in his youthful and more tractable days is, 
 goodness knows, enough to try any woman's patience, 
 but to attempt the conversion of a self-satisfied, 
 obdurate, perverse old bachelor to a woman's way of 
 viewing affairs, is what no sensible widow would ever 
 undertake, not even though the sly old fellow de 
 clares that his heart is melted at last before her 
 charms. 
 
120 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 By charms, he means, of course, the widow's full 
 purse, carriage, servants, etc., etc. 
 
 Now, no rational being would for one moment 
 suppose that any old bachelor could have the smallest 
 remnant of a heart left, and when he inclines to the 
 sentimental the effect is immensely ridiculous. 
 
 Among these forlorn specimens of humanity who 
 are this moment strolling up and down the piazza, 
 pretending to admire the ladies, although everybody 
 knows they cannot recognize the loveliest charmer 
 at the distance of three feet first we will single 
 out that dapper little man, who, if he were twenty 
 years younger, would be called a " love of a man ;" 
 always exquisitely dressed as what man shouldn't 
 be who has devoted himself to matters of the toilette 
 for upwards of forty years? with the whitest of 
 hands, the blackest of boots, and the glossiest of 
 locks (what few there are left of them) of any man 
 in Saratoga. 
 
 Of course such an immaculate personage as this 
 would never submit to have his collar rumpled by a 
 woman's arms! And who would dream of dis 
 arranging those prim, mutton-chop whiskers with a 
 kiss ? Surely every separate hair would bristle with 
 indignation before such temerity. 
 
 Next comes my tall and fidgety old bachelor 
 
MAKING REPAIRS. 
 
OLD BACHELORS. 121 
 
 whose clothes are, somehow, always awry whose 
 cravat is never half tied whose whole appearance 
 is, in fact, fearfully suggestive of lost buttons, 
 broken strings, and forlorn attempts, without know 
 ing how, to look respectably. 
 
 Any one can see at a glance that that man is in 
 desperate need of some feminine hand to keep him 
 in order. 
 
 Fancy those clumsy fingers of his sewing on but 
 tons ! Why, he hasn't even learned yet to brush his 
 own hair! 
 
 One cannot help speculating, while commiserating 
 this lonely man, upon the great difference a good 
 little wife would have made in his existence. We 
 know a distinguished divine who never appeared in 
 the pulpit with his hair properly combed indeed, 
 people said he never combed it at all until after he 
 was married. So there is, at least, one authen 
 ticated instance of benefit derived by an old bache 
 lor from being married. 
 
 As for those prim individuals who have spent 
 altogether too much time upon their personal ap 
 pearance, perhaps the best thing a young wife could 
 do to startle them into a forgetf ulness of self, would 
 be to comb their heads occasionally with a three- 
 legged stool. 
 
122 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 One of the most dangerous f ld bachelors is the 
 
 O 
 
 handsome man, who goes on through long years en 
 snaring unsuspecting hearts, and who has no idea of 
 marrying. The most unirnpressible man in the 
 world is the handsome old bachelor. lie is so per 
 fectly satisfied with himself, that no woman is 
 divine enough to give him the heartache. So, of 
 all men, beware of him. 
 
 The most detestable, because the most inveterate 
 and past all hope, of all old bachelors is that gray- 
 haired, bald-headed old gentleman who is saying 
 pretty nothings to that bright-eyed young girl, who 
 is laughing at him behind her fan. 
 
 Serves him right, too. For the last forty or fifty 
 some say sixty years has this man haunted Sara 
 toga, and managed to successfully elude all manoeu 
 vring mammas and beautiful daughters. Of course 
 he is enormously wealthy, else who would tolerate 
 him for a moment? He always selects the liveliest 
 girls for his partners in the dance, and waltzes as 
 though he never knew, nor ever expected to know, 
 the twinges of rheumatics. 
 
 If some good turn of the gout would only keep 
 him at home for one season! Now, what amuse 
 ment does this old fellow suppose young ladies take 
 in his society ? 
 
or 
 
 OLD BACHELORS. 123 
 
 Not a single one of them, be she fresh as a rose 
 
 O ' 
 
 long since passe, but wishes him a thousand 
 miles from Saratoga when he begs her hand for the 
 dance. 
 
 How odious to be dancing that delightful waltz 
 in Graybeard's arms, with Adolphus looking deject 
 edly and reproachfully on. 
 
 The secret of the youth's melancholy is that he 
 is poor, while Graybeard is rich and Adolphus 
 trembles for his chances. 
 
 But he need not fear. Graybeard has not the 
 slightest idea of ever marrying. 
 
 And if the old wizard only knew what a tool he 
 was in the hands of these lovely young belles how 
 he was coquetted with, flirted with, only to make 
 younger and handsomer lovers jealous, how irascible 
 he would be ! 
 
 Although Graybeard will not marry, he has been 
 the means of hastening many a match, for hesitating 
 lovers have been driven into casting their hearts 
 into the balance with Graybeard's gold, and it is to 
 the credit of human nature that hearts are sometimes 
 finally triumphant. 
 
 And thus it is that when Angelina wishes to 
 bring Adolphus to his senses, or rather to her feet, 
 
 
124 SPARKLES FEOM SARATOGA. 
 
 she resorts to flirting desperately and wickedly with 
 unsuspecting Graybeard. 
 
 This ruse has usually the desired effect, and no 
 one needs to waste sympathy upon the old man in 
 the case, since his breast is as devoid of any vestige 
 of a heart, as a soft clam is of a pearl. 
 
 Bold and calculating, selfish and cynical, past all 
 thrills of romance or love, past even the memory of 
 young and warm affections the old bachelor at last 
 finds old age creeping stealthily upon him, with 
 every link in life broken or gone, and with scarcely 
 one friend to drop a tear over his grave when he 
 shall have passed away." 
 
 A married man at seventy may have a warm 
 heart, but a bachelor who has lived all his life with 
 out the love of woman or child, becomes early 
 frozen into hopeless frigidity. But this stupid sub 
 ject has made me positively sleepy; not even an 
 Adonis appearing upon the piazza could keep my 
 eyes open, much less this array of miserable old 
 bachelors. 
 
XIX. 
 
 THE BELLES. 
 
 Eire belle, Jest regner ! To be beautiful is to 
 reign, says the poet. 
 
 It lias been somewhat of a puzzle this summer to 
 determine who, by right of her grace and beauty, is 
 the reigning belle of Saratoga. 
 
 And the question is yet unanswered. We have 
 all styles and types of beauty here. There are 
 plenty of belles, but who is the one bright, particular 
 star, the one who reigns undisputed queen of beauty, 
 the one who distances all other beauties by her regal 
 splendor, who shines out 
 
 " Amid a world, the only one ! " 
 Ah ! who is she ? 
 
 Past seasons have had their celebrated beauties 
 the lovely girls who have charmed and fascinated 
 all but this year society seems to have no especial 
 darling whom it is willing to crown as the belle of 
 Saratoga. 
 
 We have a profusion of roses, but somehow they 
 all have thorns. 
 
126 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 This young lady is acknowledged to be pretty, but 
 she has a bad temper. That one is stylish and 
 dresses magnificently, but she is too haughty to be 
 popular. That one is lovely, but she has no style 
 and so on. 
 
 Mrs. Grundy has some flaw to find in the fairest 
 pearl. 
 
 It is quite evident, my dear belles, that something 
 else is necessary to render one truly attractive, be 
 sides a pretty face and a lavish wardrobe. 
 
 Some young ladies here have always reigned as 
 belles in one sense of the word, ever since they first 
 made their debut in society, but still they are un 
 married, and seem likely to continue so. 
 
 This is doubtless a great mystery not only to 
 themselves, but also to their friends. It may be 
 easily solved. 
 
 "When these young ladies first came to spend the 
 season at Saratoga, they were young, beautiful, and 
 excelled all others in the elegance of their toilettes. 
 But they were haughty, proud, and esteemed no 
 young man as worthy of being a suitor to their lily- 
 white hands. 
 
 To marry one of these beauties, great wealth was 
 of course indispensable. Next, pedigree ; for they 
 had a holy horror of plebeian blood. Next, manly 
 
THE BELLES. 127 
 
 beauty; and lastly, the most abject devotion to 
 themselves. 
 
 But no such marvellous man came suing at their 
 feet. Modern society rarely combining in one indi 
 vidual the beauty of Adonis, the wealth of Croesus, 
 and Marc Antony's devotion these haughty belles 
 still remain unmarried. 
 
 Having passed season after season without en 
 tangling the golden fish in their nets, and having 
 grown slightly passe, they have returned to Saratoga 
 this summer, armed with new devices for subduing 
 that obdurate creature man. 
 
 They have summoned to their aid the subtle hand 
 of art. 
 
 They have become elaborate artists of themselves. 
 The dark-haired damsel, whose raven tresses have 
 failed to win a husband for their wearer, comes out 
 like a new-blown flower, with rare golden locks, and 
 challenges the world to admire a new beauty. 
 
 Her face is a perfect study not for the soul 
 which it reveals, but for its features. 
 
 The eyebrows are tinted ; the eyes are bright and 
 dazzling with arsenic; the lips are vermilion; 
 and, as for brow and cheek, Nature has no rival for 
 the lily and rose which are blended there. 
 
 A black, or white, lace veil is of course neces- 
 
128 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 sary to be worn over such charms throughout the 
 day, to keep the impertinent sunlight from telling 
 tales. 
 
 So much for the brunette. . 
 
 As for the blonde, she lias grown weary of her 
 pale locks, and, by some device, has coaxed them 
 into a glowing red. Her complexion, no longer 
 fair, but frightfully sallow, is so covered with chalk 
 as to render it positively ghastly. 
 
 There was a time when delicate, sickly looking 
 women were the type of women most admired. 
 
 Thank Heaven ! that time is past, and a woman 
 can afford to be healthy and stout, rosy and good- 
 naturedj and yet be admitted to fashionable society 
 though goodness only knows what great pleasure 
 or profit is to be derived from that ! 
 
 Now the brunette and the blonde have come back 
 to Saratoga with hosts of new dresses, new hair, new 
 faces, all fearfully and wonderfully made, and yet 
 and yet they sit like wall flowers shivering in the 
 cold, unsurrounded by beaux. 
 
 If some innocent individual who has not fre 
 quented Saratoga for the last four or five years 
 chances to be struck by their beauty and style, 
 and pays them some attention, it is noticed that 
 
THE BELLES. 129 
 
 he too, like former admirers, soon makes his final 
 bow, 
 
 " And quietly steals away." 
 
 Poor things ! This season, like all the rest, will 
 glide away, and no happy speculation be realized 
 in the matrimonial market by these fashionable old 
 maids. 
 
 Which shows that there is something wrong in 
 the feminine ideas of attraction. 
 
 It is useless to put on the gaudy wings of the but 
 terfly, and still remain a grub. 
 
 "Who admires the golden glow of the wings and 
 forgets the worm beneath ? 
 
 So, my dear fading flowers, had you but passed 
 one-half the time in making your souls beautiful, 
 that you have spent in acquiring new charms of 
 person, you had not been lacking in the rare devo 
 tion of true hearts. 
 
 Had you cultivated those graces of the heart, 
 those enduring charms which make a- woman always 
 lovable ; had you polished some jewels of the mind 
 instead of counting your treasures in diamonds and 
 pearls, life would not have become the vapid, idle 
 dream, the round of dissipation and disappointments, 
 which it has been. 
 
 Remember that beauty is but the velvet flush of 
 
130 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the rose ; the charm of the flower is in its fragrance. 
 Its perfume is its soul. 
 
 A lovely and lovable woman is like the rose ; she 
 gathers her true beauty from the inner life. 
 
 Go home, my dear passe belles, and begin life 
 anew. 
 
 Lay aside your false hair. Let Mother Nature tint 
 your natural locks as she will, for she is the true 
 artist after all. She knows where to fling her gold 
 and brown, and where to leave her snow-drifts and 
 silvery threads. 
 
 Throw away the powder and the rouge ; the 
 flowers have no need of them why have you ? 
 
 Give less time to your ruffles and flounces ; the 
 world does not lie in a French fold or the tit of a 
 glove. There are things more important than the 
 style of a bonnet, more enduring than the latest pat 
 tern for a dress, and therefore more worthy of 
 thought. 
 
 Take up some aim in life, live more for the inner 
 and less for the outer world. 
 
 Then, if some true heart is laid upon your shrine, 
 it is well. 
 
 If not, it may still be well. 
 
 It is not all of life to love, or to marry, and a 
 
THE BELLES. 131 
 
 woman's life may still be a success without a man's 
 heart in it. 
 
 But to come now to the younger belles the merry 
 maidens of sweet sixteen and of twenty. For them 
 also we have the same word of warning and advice. 
 
 There is nothing more beautiful in God's world 
 than a beautiful young girl, with the sparkle of 
 youth in her eye and the dew of freshness upon her 
 
 HP. 
 
 That she should not be always beautiful is a vain 
 regret ; that she might be always adorable, but often 
 is not, is a still sadder one. 
 
 And so to the charming young girls who throng 
 the parlors of Saratoga ; who float, like beautiful 
 dreams, through the dance in the ball-room ; whose 
 lips are always wreathed in smiles and whose voices 
 are musical with laughter ; whose lives have been 
 one unbroken sunbeam to these, whom we ardently 
 love, we have one message 
 
 To be always loved, one must continue always to 
 grow lovable. 
 
 It is not beauty alone, it is not style, nor wealth, 
 which takes hold of a true man's heart and retains 
 it, or which awakens the admiration of the world. 
 
 More than these is necessary to inspire a genuine 
 love and admiration. 
 
132 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 How many of the lovely girls here who possess all 
 the charms of youth, will make charming old women, 
 is a question well worth considering. 
 
 Just now to be a belle, the only things esteemed 
 to be necessary are, to be dressed always in the very 
 latest style, to wear one's hair on the top of one's 
 head, to walk on tilted heels, to carry a vinaigrette, 
 to know when to faint, when to blush, when to snub 
 admirers with no prospects, when to look tender and 
 languishing, to dance and flirt to one's heart's con 
 tent, to follow the ceaseless round of pleasure and 
 never go weary such is the life of the Saratoga 
 belle. 
 
 The aim of her industry is to work cats and dogs 
 upon canvas ; of her literature, to read novels. 
 
 A sly little flirtation with Fritz on the balcony is 
 all very nice, but as to marrying Fritz, that is im 
 possible, for he has no money, nothing but prospects. 
 
 And who can buy diamonds and silks with pros 
 pects ? 
 
 Apropos of the belles, here is a pen portrait of a 
 fair New Yorker whom we call " beautiful Maude," 
 and who queens it right royally over many suscep 
 tible hearts. Maude has the loveliest golden hair, 
 which is crimped and curled, looped high up on her 
 head and flowing luxuriantly over her shoulders 
 
THE BELLES. 133 
 
 in fact a perfect marvel of a coiffure to the un 
 accustomed eye. Her eyes are blue as the water- 
 lilies which bloom in the vale of Cashmere ; and as 
 for her complexion ah ! I should need the inspired 
 pen of an Arabian poet to describe that ! Indeed, 
 I could never quite make up my mind about that 
 complexion, so pink and white, such a delicious 
 mingling of the lily with the rose ; a pink that 
 never deepens into red, a white that almost dazzles ; 
 it seems too beautiful for nature, too natural for 
 art ! No doubt it should be attributed to the New 
 York air. Apart from her beauty, Miss Maude has 
 every advantage which wealth can bestow. An in 
 exhaustible wardrobe, jewels and trinkets without 
 number, and adorers ad infinitum. She is just five 
 feet four in stature, and would be extremely grace 
 ful in her carriage were it not for the little boots 
 she wears upon her dainty feet, which are tilted up 
 on heels three inches high. Such an absurd fashion 
 is by no means conducive to an Andalusiaii walk ! 
 This morning beautiful Maude is charmingly arrayed 
 in a white dress of the finest India muslin ; which is 
 cut up into endless puffs, and set together again 
 with broad valenciennes lace. This is worn over a 
 pink silk. The short tunic is also of pink silk and 
 bordered with deep lace, and a pink ribbon, almost 
 
134 SPAKKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 half a yard in width, is knotted up in a marvellous 
 way to form a sash at the back. A hat not much 
 to speak of for size only two or three rosebuds 
 caught together by a bit of lace yet, nevertheless, a 
 dainty and costly trifle, rests upon the front of her 
 head, and is almost lost in the luxuriance of golden 
 hair which falls in tiny ringlets over her forehead, 
 and ripples down over her shoulders, reflecting the 
 dazzling sunbeams like threads of living gold. 
 "White gloves, and a white silken parasol, whose 
 pink lining casts a soft, tinted shade over her fail- 
 face, completes the toilette of this lovely girl. 
 Maude looks like a beautiful fairy who might live 
 upon love and honey-dew all of her days. But I 
 can assure you that she has no such romantic ideas 
 amid all the folly of her little brain, and woe to the 
 rash youth with less than ten thousand a year, and 
 prospects of more, who should dare to aspire to her 
 hand. It would not be pleasant to meet the flashing 
 of those violet eyes if Maude were angry ; there is 
 heat lightning even in the softest summer clouds. 
 
XX. 
 
 SNUBBING. 
 
 I AM happy to say that my advice and warning 
 to th6 old bachelors has taken effect. The dapper 
 little man who has been so long noted as the pink 
 of perfection, has given a Byronic turn to his dark 
 locks ; that is, he allows at least three individual 
 hairs to fall over his forehead, that he may no 
 longer be noted for his primness; the crazy old 
 bachelor is making frantic efforts to tie his cravat in 
 a proper manner, and has positively been rebuttoned 
 that is, some one has kindly sewn on his buttons 
 for him, for this forlorn individual, in plying the 
 needle, usually placed the button on wrong side out, 
 with his clumsy fingers ; and the wizen-faced, bald- 
 headed old man has forsaken the ball-room and the 
 dance, and mopes alone in a corner upon the piazza, 
 the very picture of desolation and despair. His eyes 
 are at last opened to the mournful fact that he is no 
 longer an eligible partner for the pretty young ladies 
 around whom he has fluttered so long, and now he 
 
136 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 sits a pathetic monument of lost opportunities, dis 
 mally reciting to himself those well-known lines 
 
 " Of all sad words of tongue or pen, 
 The saddest are these it might have been ! " 
 
 Poor fellow! if he had consented years ago to 
 give his dim eyes the aid of a pair of spectacles, he 
 might have discovered what an insufferable imi- 
 
 O 
 
 sance he was to the merry young belles who were 
 never weary of diverting themselves with his infirm 
 ities. 
 
 I have seen this pitiable old man the victim of a 
 dozen caprices of a young girl in a morning upon 
 the piazza. 
 
 First, she would drop her fan, as though she were 
 not in the least aware of the almost utter impossi 
 bility of the old bachelor picking it up ; as though 
 she never dreamed that he had a stiff back and was 
 troubled with gouty limbs ; next she would ask him 
 to read the last Saratoga letter to her, pleading a 
 headache, and declaring it hurt her eyes to read ! 
 
 And the wicked girl's eyes dancing with fire all 
 the while, and as bright as diamonds, for she knew 
 very well that this superannuated beau could not 
 read without glasses! And these he never wears 
 upon the piazza. 
 
SNUBBING. 137 
 
 I must not omit to mention that one old bachelor 
 here is called the " belle of Saratoga," probably be 
 cause he has such agreeable ways, for he is one of 
 your charming old bachelors, and the anxious mam 
 mas are always willing to trust their pretty dears in 
 his care. This circumstance causes all the young 
 gentlemen to cultivate his acquaintance, and alto 
 gether he has quite a delightful time of it in Sara 
 toga much pleasanter, I fancy, than when at home 
 in Gotham, for there he keeps bachelor's hall with 
 two bachelor brothers. 
 
 Think of that, young ladies ! Three lonely, 
 crusty old bachelors, all sitting down to sip their tea 
 in frigid silence a melancholy, miserable trio ! 
 
 Once a week they have a sewing meeting to re 
 place lost buttons and sew up the eye-openers in 
 their socks. Then they look over the household ac 
 counts, and scold Bridget for wasting the tea and 
 the sugar, reprove her for leaving the front windows 
 open that the old maids over the way may peep in, 
 and charge her, on no account, to converse with the 
 pretty and wily widow who lives close by, and who 
 sometimes encounters Bridget at the market. 
 
 So these old bachelors are terribly afraid of wid 
 ows and old maids. How absurd to think that one 
 of them should come up here to be styled the " belle 
 
138 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 of Saratoga," and to play duenna to half a dozen 
 pretty girls ! 
 
 But dismissing the old bachelors as peremptorily 
 as they have often been dismissed before we turn 
 to ponder the question whether it is wise to appear 
 beautiful one hour, only to appear ugly the next, 
 from sheer contrast. 
 
 It takes the morning light the full blaze of day 
 to reveal people to each other ; and therefore, 
 these morning hours do much either to dispel or 
 complete the illusions of the ball-room the night 
 before. 
 
 Miss Pinky Pearl, whose complexion at night is 
 something marvellous, in fact, a veritable cream of 
 roses, never ventures on the piazza without a veil 
 over her face, and a parasol which serves to keep 
 off the too scrutinizing gaze of both sun and men. 
 But Madge, who never powders or paints, looks 
 better than ever in the morning, provided her eyes 
 are not heavy with sleep. 
 
 The belle of the ball-room is not apt to be the 
 belle of the piazza. Full dress, diamonds, and the 
 other et ceteras of a lady's evening toilette, are apt 
 to impart a delusive charm to beauty, and the 
 young lady who is a perfect divinity in a cloud of 
 tulle, who is radiant under the brilliant chandeliers, 
 
SNUBBING. 139 
 
 may be plain enough when she appears in the 
 morning in a simple dress, with her hair plainly 
 arranged, and her complexion devoid of the ball 
 room lilies and roses. 
 
 But to pass from the yonng ladies who are so 
 elaborated, look at the elderly ones who come out 
 in the morning as fresh as new blown roses, inspir 
 ing themselves and every one else with the belief 
 that they are young again. Look at the light robes, 
 the gay ribbons, the long curls, the jaunty little hat ; 
 and were it not for the keen gaze beneath the uni 
 versal veii, one might fancy a miss of sixteen sat 
 under that parasol instead of a woman of sixty. 
 
 " How fearfully and how wonderfully we are 
 made ! " comes to our mind with a new signifi 
 cance, as we watch the passing throng. 
 
 Thank Heaven that gray hairs are at last fash 
 ionable ; and that the most of our elderly dames are 
 content with such graces as Mother Nature lias given 
 them, and wear the chaplet of years as a crown 
 formed of precious jewels from the casket of time. 
 
 Youth has its charms, but so also has maturer 
 age. An old lady maybe just as truly charming as 
 a young belle. But the charms of which \ve speak 
 are not to be found in the powder or paint box. 
 
 The latest development of Saratoga life which 
 
140 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 has attracted our especial attention is the fearful 
 manner in which people snub each other. The 
 fine art of snubbing has attained its fullest perfec 
 tion here. It is no uncommon thing to see people, 
 who have been apparently the most ardent friends, 
 pass each other without a glance. 
 
 From the prevalence of turned-up noses, one who 
 is a careful observer of the passing throng might 
 imagine that le nez retrousse was considered a high 
 type of beauty, and therefore our belles were do 
 ing their best to cultivate it. 
 
 " My dear Mrs. Delta, I am delighted to see you ! " 
 exclaims Mrs. Beta, rushing up to her quondam 
 friend. 
 
 Mrs. Delta draws herself up coldly, says " Good- 
 morning, Madam," and stalks away. 
 
 To the gentleman who escorts her she says, " How 
 dare that creature speak to me ? " 
 
 And her nose puts on an aspiring air which is 
 truly beautiful to witness. 
 
 A young lady who has been trifling cruelly with 
 an admirer's heart for a week or more lavishing 
 
 O 
 
 her brightest glances and sweetest smiles upon him, 
 suddenly ignores him altogether, absolutely disdain 
 ing to even look upon him. 
 
 To solve the apparent enigma, one has only to 
 
 
SNUBBING. 141 
 
 ascertain that this young man has only a few thou-^ 
 sands a year, while a new admirer has untold wealth 
 at his command. 
 
 Is it well to know that man or woman ? Will it 
 do to recognize and frequent the society of those 
 people ? are questions often asked, and usually an 
 swered according to the status a critical world has 
 given to the individual. 
 
 To know the person whom society does not recog 
 nize is accounted more than a crime. 
 
 There are, in fact, a great many people who 
 never know you at all unless you are dressed quite 
 d la mode, and the estimate they place upon you is 
 exactly in accordance to the garments you wear ; 
 just in proportion to the value of your jewels or 
 laces do you rise or fall in these peoples' opinion. 
 As for your individual character, that doesn't matter 
 so much. 
 
 People who hold their position in society by their 
 wealth alone, like to turn up their noses at those 
 who have something better than wealth to recom 
 mend them. 
 
 It is so provoking to meet people who are com 
 paratively poor, and yet who refuse to be dazzled 
 by the glitter of diamonds or the splendor of costly 
 raiment and pretentious equipages ! 
 
142 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 * To snub the individual " who has neither beauty, 
 wealth, nor fame is accounted a virtue. 
 
 So goes the world. And a strange, strange world 
 it is. 
 
 One peculiarity of Saratoga life is, that it is 
 made up of little welcomes and farewells. Every 
 day some friend makes his adieux ; but every day 
 some well-known face reappears amid the merry 
 throng, and so the vacant place is soon filled, and 
 there is no such thing as loneliness or weariness, 
 except, perhaps, to those who have grown weary of 
 society long ago, and who prefer the quiet, shaded 
 walks of life to these gay scenes. 
 
 Life moves on from day to day like a pleasant 
 dream or like passing through the mazes of the 
 dance ; we clasp hands for a moment and then part 
 forever, with perchance the memory of a glance, 
 or touch, which will live in our hearts lonor after 
 
 ' O 
 
 the summer flowers have faded, and the green 
 leaves grown red and sere ; summer memories, 
 which will float through the long winter of life to 
 come, like the incense of unseen flowers which fol 
 low us on our way. 
 
 Little friendships, little loves ; words half jesting, 
 half tender ; a mingling of sighs and smiles ; a heart 
 throb of pleasure pierced with a shadow of regret ; a 
 
SNUBBING. 143 
 
 series of welcomes and farewells such is life at 
 Saratoga. Apart from the attractions of the hotels, 
 where life is one constant round of gayety, Nature 
 here has many charms. 
 
 The drives are beautiful, and go in what direc 
 tion you will the same charming variety of scenery 
 is spread before you. 
 
 Mother Nature never snubs her loving chil 
 dren ; she welcomes them all with a smile. Her 
 heart is always open to us, always tender and true. 
 The favorite drive is that to the famed Saratoga 
 Lake. Past green fields filled with waving corn ; 
 past green meadows from which comes the sweet 
 odor of the new-mown hay ; past the red and 
 green velvet of clover ; past the white-mantled 
 fields of buckwheat, where myriads of star-like 
 blossoms lift up their voices of perfume ; past 
 green groves and dark woods from which the wild 
 flowers creep to the roadside and whisper the secrets 
 of shaded glens ; past all these, onward to the 
 beautiful lake which lies, a solitaire set in emerald, 
 upon Nature's deep heart. 
 
 To sit and dream one quiet hour upon the banks 
 of this blue, limpid lake, is to steal at least one bit 
 of true romance from the gay life around us. 
 
 And this hour should be near the eventide 
 
144 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 just when the sun has bidden the day farewell, and 
 left the clouds all flushed and glowing with his 
 parting kiss ; when the far-off mountains are 
 wrapped in a golden mist, and every ripple of the 
 lake reflects a dying sunbeam. 
 
 With a musical murmur the little waves break 
 upon the shore at our feet, lavishing their last 
 jewels of sunlight upon the green blades of grass, 
 and singing in a weird monotone the dirge of the 
 dead day. 
 
 One cannot help thinking, at such a time, of 
 those who have come and gone before us ; of the 
 grave and the gay, the light-hearted and the weary 
 ones, who have lingered a little while beside this 
 lake, and then drifted away to distant homes some 
 to quiet hearthstones, some into busy, anxious life 
 and many, ah! very many, into that unknown 
 world " from whose bourne no traveller returns." 
 
 How many of life's little romances have sprung 
 into being amid the charming spots which encircle 
 this placid lake ! The very air which floats over 
 the water, full of the mystery of the mountains; the 
 sweetness of the forests, the cool tranquillity of the 
 lake, is freighted with romance. Whoever can 
 open his heart to such a scene ; can feel the impress 
 of skv and shore ; of the blue mountains faintly 
 
SNUBBING. 145 
 
 traced against the sunset clouds ; of the blue lake, 
 with the white lilies folding their petals to slumber 
 on its breast whoever can feel all this without a 
 thrill of adoration, without the deep sense of a new 
 joy misses the benediction which Nature gives to 
 all who sincerely love her. 
 7 
 
XXI. 
 
 AMONG THE LIONS. 
 
 I DO not know any person who attracts more at 
 tention in this crowded resort than the young man 
 from abroad. This young man has a droop to his 
 lily-white hands, a lisp to his speech, a suspicion of 
 rouge upon his cheeks, and of course he wears eye 
 glasses. More than this, he is said to be desperately 
 in love with an heiress. As I have just remark 
 ed, this extraordinary young man attracts more 
 attention than any one whom I have noticed, there 
 fore I place him first upon my list of distinguished 
 individuals. 
 
 To be distinguished on account of the name you 
 bear, on account of your learning, your talents, 
 your wealth, or perhaps your wickedness, is all very 
 well ; but let any person who is noted for any one of 
 these things mingle with the crowd, and unless he 
 is personally known he will probably pass un 
 noticed. But to carry your own distinction always 
 with you, quite independent of either circumstances 
 or surroundings ; to be always distinguished from 
 
AMONG THE LIONS. 147 
 
 the herd, is certainly to possess a pre-eminence of 
 either superiority or ridiculousness over other peo 
 ple, which Nature herself has conferred. 
 
 But to return to the young man from abroad. 
 We especially designate him in this manner, not that 
 he is the only young man in Saratoga whose travels 
 have been extensive, but because he is the particu 
 lar young man who has apparently left all his 
 native Americanism abroad and brought home a 
 quantity of foreign isms in its place. So that, 
 although this young man still speaks his mother 
 tongue, with the aid of a lisp, he has quite ceased to 
 be an American. His conversation is absurdly 
 amusing. He tries to persuade you that ho is sick 
 and disgusted with the world ; that he would much 
 prefer a savage state of life to this fashionable 
 existence ; and that to be dressed in a swallow-tailed 
 coat and to wear white kids is an insufferable tort 
 ure to him. He wants you to believe that he is a 
 diamond of the first water polished entirely against 
 his will. 
 
 And yet, in spite of all this, not a man in Sara 
 toga devotes so much time to his dress as does this 
 poor youth, who declares he abhors it ! 
 
 Look at him now, all ready for the ball, with his 
 black claw-hammer coat, his black pantaloons, white 
 
148 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 cravat, white gloves, and hair carefully parted in 
 the middle. He carries a white silk crush hat to 
 fan himself during his exhaustive efforts in the 
 dance, and wipes his forehead not his cheeks 
 languidly with a lace handkerchief. 
 
 A man who has caused considerable remark here, 
 from the reputed vastness of his wealth, and the 
 magnificent diamond he wore on his finger which 
 gem is said to be worth twelve thousand dollars 
 is another one of the distinguished people. 
 
 He was remarkably ugly in appearance, wore an 
 immense black wig, and had a pair of eyes as 
 black as jet. His complexion, too, was suspiciously 
 dark, but he was presumed to be some Spaniard 
 rolling in ingots and gems, and many admiring 
 glances were cast, if not on him, at least upon the 
 valuable diamond which flashed from his finger. 
 
 And now, rumor says that the pretended* Spaniard 
 is a pure negro, and people are shocked to think 
 they have existed under the same roof and dined at 
 the same table with this sable individual. 
 
 We have a most remarkable pair of boots here 
 worn by a Colonel in the army. Wherever a group 
 of pretty ladies is seated these boots are to be seen 
 winding their way. Now these are such remark 
 able bouts that they take precedence in making the 
 
AMONG THE LIONS. 149 
 
 Colonel a distinguished man over all the brave 
 deeds he has performed, and the dangers he has in 
 curred in tracking the savages over the plains of the 
 far West. I do not know that I can better describe 
 the Colonel's boots than by saving that they have 
 the appearance of having been whittled down to a 
 point, and are in such marked contrast to the broad- 
 toed boots which are worn here that they have cer 
 tainly distinguished themselves. As these boots are 
 evidently unadapted to the accommodation of five 
 toes apiece, we have concluded that the most of the 
 Colonel's toes lodge out ! 
 
 At any rate, the Colonel's boots are most remark 
 able specimens of economy in leather. 
 
 And now we come to the " catch of the season," 
 who must always be a distinguished individual. 
 The young man who has figured for some time in 
 this character at Saratoga is handsome, rich as 
 Croesus, liberal and jolly, lives like a prince, and 
 seems a veritable Monte Christo as far as his wealth 
 is concerned. His apartments in the hotel are fitted 
 up in the most luxurious manner. To pass into 
 them from the other rooms is like stepping from the 
 commonplace, everyday world, into enchanted land. 
 The rooms are fitted up in Oriental style, the 
 floors being spread with beautiful Persian mats, and 
 
150 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the luxurious sofas and chairs covered with the 
 most elegant designs, all wrought with the needle. 
 The doors are hung with curtains of the same richly 
 embroidered material as that which covers the fur 
 niture. Pictures and statues, elegant vases and beau 
 tiful flowers, a piano, mirrors, and numerous articles 
 of vertu, adorn the rooms. 
 
 And while other people here are quite content to 
 rest their weary heads upon ordinary couches, this 
 young man has rose-colored dreams under a pink 
 silk spread which is covered with white dotted 
 Swiss, and bordered with ruffles and pink ribbon. 
 
 This rich young American rides out every day 
 like a prince in a carriage and four, followed by 
 scores of admiring bright eyes. Alas ! such young 
 men are not apt to be matrimonially inclined, and it 
 is to be feared that the Saratoga belles will sigh, 
 
 O w** 
 
 and their mammas manoeuvre in vain. To be hand 
 some and rich, clever and good-hearted withal, is to 
 be a source of immense attraction in a place like 
 Saratoga. 
 
 An interesting, but rather horrible, individual, 
 because so doleful, is a gentleman with a long, pale 
 face, eyes deep set in his head, a sepulchral voice, 
 who has the odd fancy of wearing a death's-head 
 upon his shirt front. And this death's-head is con- 
 
AMONG THE LIONS. 151 
 
 ti nually opening and shutting its ghastly month, 
 which horrible operation is performed by means of 
 a small galvanic battery, which its owner carries in 
 his pocket. Now, is not there one evidence of 
 distinguished taste in the way of personal adorn 
 ment ? 
 
 Another person well calculated to inspire horror 
 in the minds of those who are fond of taking peeps 
 into the dark mysteries of life, is a man who goes by 
 the familiar name of Bluebeard. He is a widower, 
 with the rather alarming reputation of having spir 
 ited away three wives. Humor says that he is now 
 here in search of a fourth, but he might as well 
 pack his trunk and bid farewell to Saratoga, for the 
 young ladies are all terribly afraid of him, and 
 there is always a sudden disappearance of the 
 belles whenever this ogre approaches. 
 
 I must not omit to mention the young politician, 
 who is surely a rising star in the political world, 
 and who has now so fine an opportunity of display 
 ing his capabilities. 
 
 He talks like an orator, warms into enthusiasm 
 with his subject, and has already converted all the 
 ladies, and not a small number of the gentleman, to 
 his party. While other young gentlemen are flying 
 through the dance in the ball-room above, this 
 
152 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 sedate youth, who seems to have no relish for 
 such frivolity at this momentous time, sits upon 
 the piazza and eloquently discusses his favorite 
 theme. 
 
XXII. 
 
 BUZZ. 
 
 CONSIDERING the scarcity of the " busy bees " in 
 Saratoga, the incessant hum is certainly something 
 wonderful. 
 
 Buzz, buzz, buzz, all day long, from seven o'clock 
 in the morning until after twelve at night although 
 we would not undertake to mention the individuals 
 who commence their hum in the early morning. 
 
 To rise early is one of the impossibilities of a 
 watering-place life. 
 
 Heavens ! one must have more sleep than a peri 
 winkle especially as the periwinkle has nothing to 
 do but to wink and blink at the sun, while here one 
 has to dress, and dance, and talk, without even a 
 son worth blinking at, or interesting enough to keep 
 our weary eyes open. 
 
 But then it is possible to live upon hope ; and have 
 we not a promise from a dear little lady, who is our 
 chaperonejpr<9 tern., that a few days more will bring 
 her pet son to Saratoga a youth who is learned in 
 both ancient and modern lore, a marvellous young 
 
154 SPARKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 man who can speak every modern tongue, and of 
 course knows how to make love in his own a 
 youth, in short, who has travelled all over the world 
 and come home, heart whole, to lay his heart at the 
 feet of some charming American. 
 
 So that the future has something yet in store, 
 unless, indeed, that bright-eyed young belle, who is 
 this very moment endeavoring to ensnare Fitz Hugh 
 with her fascinations, while we are a martyr to the 
 miserable business of writing letters, should snap 
 him up immediately. 
 
 But to return to the hum. One cannot help 
 wondering what all these people are so incessantly 
 talking about for conversation never seems to flag. 
 To pause, to listen, and watch the animated gestures 
 and expressive faces upon every side, one would 
 think that each individual was compressing into a 
 brief half hour's talk all the information he pos 
 sessed, or that, fearing suddenly to make his exit 
 from this world, he was bent upon having an em 
 phatic " last say." 
 
 The gentlemen, of course, have at present but 
 one topic and that is, politics. Really these sober- 
 headed men call themselves morally sane; but to 
 hear them simply expressing their political opinions, 
 we would fancy them to be newly escaped lunatics. 
 
BUZZ. 155 
 
 Talk about fighting; duels for love ! It is a won- 
 
 O O 
 
 der that these hot-headed politicians do not blow 
 each other's brains out every day! We always 
 make it a point to graciously retire from the scene 
 when we see a political breeze rising. It is so dis 
 agreeable to sit between a fiery Republican and a 
 crazy Democrat, and wonder what is coming next. 
 Such a position forcibly reminds us of the pathetic 
 state of that little boy who begged his mother to 
 punish him immediately, as anything was better 
 than a state of suspense ! 
 
 The young people do not trouble their heads 
 very much about political warfare, but their talk em 
 braces an alarming amount of flirtation and love- 
 making in their quiet chats and walks upon the 
 piazza, or while sitting in some retired corner of 
 the parlor. For one of the principal charms of the 
 Congress Hall parlor is its peculiar adaptability to 
 morning flirtations it has so many cosey little 
 nooks ; such luxurious tetes-d-tetea ; such immense 
 fauteuils in which one can be buried to every being 
 except the person for whom one wishes at that mo 
 ment to live. 
 
 And then there is the new carpet in this charming 
 parlor which it is impossible to look upon without 
 having a tinge of romance, for it is truly beautiful. 
 
156 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 and always suggestive of floods of moonlight falling 
 upon a profusion of pale roses and lilies. 
 
 The one particular belle whom we mentioned 
 above, is to-day a little disconsolate, for she declares 
 that she flirted all yesterday morning with Croesus 
 in the parlor, endured his nonsense on the piazza 
 after dinner, when she was dying to hear the music, 
 and danced half the evening with him -at the hop 
 last night and yet he hasn't proposed. 
 
 What a stupid he is, to be sure ! 
 
 It is astonishing what a malicious pleasure peo 
 ple seem to take in laughing at the misfortunes of 
 others. 
 
 "We affect to be very aristocratic here at the Con 
 gress, but we enjoy a good heart} 7 laugh sometimes 
 and but just a moment ago the throng upon the 
 piazza were in a perfect roar. 
 
 Laughing at some unlucky individual, of course. 
 The fun .was this : 
 
 A sedate-looking farmer, wearing a broad- 
 brimmed hat, was driving slowly down the street 
 with a load of watermelons. His horse, a perfect 
 Rozinante in meagreness- of flesh and multiplicity 
 of bones, was evidently inspired with a Quixotic 
 idea of acquiring fame, arid therefore, just at the 
 moment when the unsuspecting farmer was passing 
 
BUZZ. 157 
 
 the hotel, Rozinante walked gravely ahead with the 
 front pair of wheels, leaving the wagon, farmer, and 
 melons in the lurch. 
 
 Their sudden descent to the ground, and evident 
 amazement at this unwonted state of affairs, was 
 ludicrous, indeed. The farmer sat, not in his "easy 
 chair," but upon the ground, with his eyes as large as 
 saucers, his broad-brimmed hat rolling away after 
 Rozinante, and the jolly melons careering in every 
 direction like a set of urchins just let loose. The 
 wagon put on a most dejected air, and the front 
 wheels went rolling sedately down the street follow 
 ing the wicked Rozinante. Not a Dulcinea upon 
 the piazza but burst into a merry laugh, and every 
 swain of course followed suit. 
 
 There is nothing so contagious as laughter. We 
 might, perhaps, make an exception of flirtation, 
 this latter caprice of human nature having been an 
 epidemic in Saratoga this season. 
 
 It is amusing to watch the people as they come 
 down to the springs ; to wonder whence they have 
 come, and whither tfyey will go ! 
 
 You can easily tell the new-comers by the wry 
 faces they make upon tasting the waters, putting 
 down the first glass but half emptied, while the old 
 
158 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 habitues quaff their five or six glasses, with the 
 utmost sang froid. 
 
 What a motley concourse! Hither comes old 
 age seeking, perhaps, renewal of youth ; here, too, 
 gather the young, and the beautiful, to add fresh 
 roses to their cheeks ; here mingle the sad and the 
 gay ; those that count each day lost which brings 
 not some new joy ; and those who, looking mourn 
 fully into the past, weep over days that are no 
 more ! Days 
 
 "Dear as remembered kisses after death, 
 And sweet as those by hopeless fancy feigned 
 On lips that are for others ! Deep as love, 
 Deep as first love, and wild with all regret; 
 O Death in Life, the days that are no more ! " 
 
 All, were there but some enchanted place within 
 whose shaded groves bubbled the fountain of Eternal 
 Youth ! How numberless, as the leaves of the forest, 
 would be those who gathered there ! 
 
 And, if in some secluded nook, the Fountain of 
 Oblivion offered its dark and mystic waters for a 
 solace to the heart, what an eternity of sorrow would 
 be cast therein ! , 
 
 Well might the ancients have deemed forget- 
 f ulness a boon worthy the bestowal of the gods ; 
 for there are times, when to forget past griefs, is 
 better than looking forward to new joys. 
 
BUZZ. 159 
 
 Still better than all these, if in some sacred grotto 
 the famed Castalian fount were springing, where, 
 kneeling to sip of its pure waters, we might drink 
 in poetic fire and lofty enthusiasm ; kindling 
 thoughts and noble aspirations; strength to rise 
 above the bitterness of the world, and courage to 
 overcome the ills and the sorrows of life. 
 
 Speaking of the ancient fabled waters, is there 
 not still flowing in some secluded spot, some Lydian 
 stream in which our millionaires have bathed, and 
 thus acquired the power of transmuting all they 
 touch into gold ? but finding, alas ! like poor King 
 Midas, how little happiness their gold can bring. 
 
XXIII. 
 
 FLIRTATIONS. 
 
 REALLY, we have not been able to turn our eyes 
 toward any point of the compass without seeing a 
 pair of lovers. 
 
 Billers and cooers, flirters and flirtees (that List is 
 original, flirtee meaning the person who is flirted 
 with) are to be met at every step, occupying every 
 corner, strolling through every shaded walk, and 
 monopolizing the best places generally. 
 
 It is a great mistake for people to hide in a quiet 
 place to carry on a flirtation. 
 
 Better be spoony in public, my dears, for some 
 one is sure to drop your way just at the most inter 
 esting stage of the conversation ; and to be sitting 
 alone in a corner is always terribly suggestive of 
 love-making that is, of course, allowing two people 
 to that particular corner. 
 
 We have derived much amusement in watching 
 the artful devices of one pair of lovers who for the 
 last week have been vainly endeavoring to delude 
 the world into the belief that they are enjoying a 
 
FLIRTATIONS. 161 
 
 sort of quiet friendship without a spark of love in 
 it. 
 
 This charming couple take a book, and seeking 
 out some place where they fondly hope and believe 
 that no intruder will venture, they sit holding the 
 book between them, pretending to read. 
 
 Now what that book is all about I have not vent- 
 ured close enough to see. But that the readers are 
 learning love's alphabet from it, and fast coining 
 the mystical letters into words, I have not the slight 
 est doubt. 
 
 It is such a nice way of making love, to sit with a 
 handsome yo'ing man holding one side of a book 
 the book being small pretending to read, and cer 
 tain that others hear nothing of the whispers let fall 
 between the sentences ! 
 
 Now, I have had a suspicion that this couple to 
 whom I refer have not the slightest idea of what 
 that book, which seems to form a sort of connecting 
 link between their hearts, contains. 
 
 To-day my suspicion was verified, for they were 
 quietly studying the title page, and a person would 
 think that they have hung long enough over that 
 volume to have gathered all its golden treasures of 
 love and poetry long ago. 
 
 But no ; there they sit, their eyes looking tinut- 
 
1G2 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 terable thoughts at each other ; their lips silent but 
 eloquent ; their finger-tips j ust touching ; while they 
 turn the pages of that unread volume learning 
 life's sweetest lesson, and yet almost unconscious of 
 it. Ah ! 
 
 " There's nothing half so sweet in life 
 As Love's young dream." 
 
 Another desperate flirtation not a real, genuine 
 love affair, with a true sentiment in it, but a Sara 
 toga flirtation has been going on for the last four 
 days in the parlor. 
 
 Up in the corner, of course ; the lady sitting half 
 buried in a luxurious chair, flirting her fan grace 
 fully, and flirting her eyes at the same time at her 
 adorer, who sits in front of her. 
 
 The young man carries a cane, which helps him 
 to support himself under these trying circumstances. 
 
 The young lady has been a belle for more than 
 one season ; she is quite aufcdt in the art of break 
 ing hearts, and she is just as sure of singeing the 
 wings of this poor man-butterfly as she is sure of es 
 caping heart-whole herself. 
 
 As for the poor youth in the case, the only hope 
 for him is that he is so much absorbed in his mous 
 tache, that it certainly requires an effort on his part 
 
FLIRTATIONS. 1 63 
 
 to devote any number of consecutive minutes to any 
 one woman. 
 
 Ah, that moustache ! 
 
 Combed, and curled, and carefully waxed at the 
 ends, what a pathetic monument of manly devotion 
 it is, to be sure ! 
 
 Some men make an idol of their ambrosial locks ; 
 some devote themselves, not to the matrimonial tie, 
 but to that more important one, the cravat ; some 
 practise in twirling the cane gracefully, and others 
 endeavor to make their eyes beautiful by the inces 
 sant smoking of cigars. 
 
 But this particular young man has his heart's love 
 in his moustache. 
 
 Now, not one man mentioned among the above 
 specimens of the genus is worth one snap for a lover. 
 
 Who wants an adorer who is utterly absorbed in 
 himself ? 
 
 And we wonder that that practised belle can 
 take any pleasure in flirting so long with a mere 
 moustache ! 
 
 We have solved the mystery in our own minds, 
 by supposing that she fondly imagines that he is 
 admiring her eyes ; while he just as delusively 
 dreams that she sees or admires nothing but that 
 love of a moustache. 
 
164r SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 And so both are happy, and this flirtation goes on 
 admirably. 
 
 "No especial hour is set apart for this Saratoga 
 amusement. 
 
 We have times to eat and to sleep ; to dance, to 
 drive, and to walk ; but the flirtations go on as un 
 interruptedly as the air we breathe. 
 
 And so they become epidemic. 
 
 The last and the most unexpected flirtation of all, 
 has been carried on by a staid, moderate old bache 
 lor, rich as Croesus, and a pretty widow. 
 
 Now it takes these widows to inveigle a man's 
 heart into invisible meshes, and to capture the poor 
 fellow before he is really aware of it. 
 
 That is, if she fairly sets about it ; and so this 
 charming widow has bewitched this forlorn old 
 bachelor into believing that she is an angel disguised, 
 and that he is the one man who could make her 
 happy ; she has charmed him into forgetting all his 
 dread and horror of the sex ; into a serious flirtation 
 which looks very much like ending in a wedding. 
 
 Ah well ! so much for the constancy of a man to 
 his principles. For, when a man makes a resolution 
 not to marry, he should not allow himself to be be 
 witched into matrimony, and then spend his days- in 
 reproaching his wife for his folly. 
 
FLIRTATIONS. 165 
 
 That is the way all old bachelors do. 
 
 A favorite spot for a flirtation is down in the 
 park. That is, if the two seats provided for senti 
 mental lovers happen to be unoccupied ! 
 
 It is not to be supposed that all the flirting ac 
 complished here is done by young people or by un 
 married people. 
 
 There are any number of married flirts on the 
 carpet. Such sly flirting, too ; principally done by 
 the married men. These men keep a sharp lookout 
 for their wives, and do up all the domestic wicked 
 ness themselves. 
 
 There is plenty of excuse for putting the dear 
 wife out of the way. 
 
 Not absolutely drowning or choking her off, but 
 by more delusive means, such as mildly suggesting 
 that the atmosphere of the ball-room might injure 
 her health, or that late hours will steal the roses from 
 her cheek, and thus cause the poor husband a pang. 
 
 And so these confiding wives, who have a dread 
 of stepping out and leaving gay widowers behind 
 them, march dutifully off to their rooms, while their 
 odious husbands indulge in numberless flirtations. 
 
 I notice that every man who has a pretty wife is 
 inclined to be jealous of her, and we have plenty of 
 green-eyed monsters of husbands in our midst. They 
 
166 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 are such interesting creatures something of the 
 thunder-cloud style. There ought to be a patent 
 glass case in which to imprison pretty wives, for the 
 benefit of these jealous lunatics. 
 
 " My dear," says one of these devoted husbands to 
 his loving wife, " I am going to town for a few days. 
 You must not think of dancing with that fellow 
 Jones, nor of waltzing with Smith ; indeed, you had 
 better not attend the hops or balls, being unpro 
 tected. And I wouldn't go down to the spring in 
 the morning ; nor especially in the evening. And, 
 if you are invited to drive, why you can excuse 
 yourself write to me every day ; and that, with 
 looking after the baby and nurse, will afford you 
 amusement enough until my return." That is the 
 way these jealous husbands bid an affectionate adieu 
 to the partner of their sorrows, not of their joys, 
 and go to the city to be devoured with curiosity as 
 to what their wives are doing in their absence, and 
 to come back greener-eyed than ever. 
 
 Y7e feel sorry for these self-deluded individuals ! 
 \Te should like to drown every one of them in a 
 frog pond, sure that they would come up an army 
 of croakers all arrayed in green coats. 
 
WIDOWEKS. 
 
 OLD bachelors are to be snubbed, widowers to be 
 considered. Therefore we proceed to consider this 
 species of the genus homo, especially that portion 
 who have come hither this season in throngs. 
 
 There are times when blackberries are excessively 
 plenty ; likewise widowers. The present is one of 
 those seasons at Saratoga. 
 
 Every other man you meet who has passed his 
 first flush of youth, is either a man who has never 
 committed his fate to matrimony, or one who wears 
 a weed. 
 
 That is, he is either a bachelor or a widower. 
 And more than that, half of the married men who 
 have escaped from the domestic hearth and come 
 here, pretend to be widowers. 
 
 They appear to fancy that because widows are 
 charming, widowers must be enchanting. 
 
 In olden times the Romans took their Penates 
 with them, but our modern men seem to especially 
 delight in leaving everything of the sort at home ; 
 
1G8 SPARKLES FEOM SARATOGA. 
 
 especially their wives ! But now for the Saratoga 
 widowers : 
 
 First, there is widower Grant, who is extremely 
 rich, and therefore extremely respectable. He is al 
 ways dressed so neatly and so carefully, that one 
 cannot help wondering how this lonely man is able 
 to take such good care of himself. He has been a 
 widower for ten years. As he has not married the 
 second time it is universally believed that he still 
 mourns. 
 
 And Saratoga is such a nice place in which to 
 mourn ! It is so charming to stand beside the 
 famous springs, and imagine them to be Lethean 
 waters, wherein all trouble and grief may be lost 
 forever. That is, we cannot help supposing that 
 these waters have this effect, since widowers seem 
 to be blessed with remarkably short memories. 
 
 You cannot converse many times with a widow 
 without hearing her mention the late dear de 
 parted. She will expatiate upon his merits, his gen 
 erosity, his virtues de mortuis nil nisi fionmn. 
 And thus she often awakens in the heart, of her ad 
 mirer a strong desire to take the dear man's place 
 and to emulate his virtues. 
 
 But the widowers ! Bah ! I have talked with fifty 
 of them, and positively I have never yet heard 
 
WIDOWERS. 169 
 
 the defunct Mrs. Sigma or Madame Alpha even 
 once alluded to. 
 
 I have pondered upon the subject, and have 
 come to the conclusion that a widower who remem 
 bers the spouse who died a dozen years ago (if he re 
 members her at all), remembers her as a rather old- 
 fashioned individual, whose image sometimes con 
 fronts him amid the brilliant scenes of Saratoga, and 
 who suffers very much in comparison with the gay 
 young belles who flourish here. 
 
 In fact, he looks upon her faded memory as we 
 are apt to regard an old-fashioned portrait. 
 
 And he puts the old-fashioned portrait one side ; 
 turns its face to the wall, and basks in the smiles of 
 more modern beauties. 
 
 And thus it is that he never alludes to the 
 object whom he is believed so devoutly to mourn. 
 
 As for the different types of widowers, there is 
 the elderly man, whose hair is gray, whose teeth 
 are nearly all gone, who has a crook in his back, 
 and who is shaky on his knees, and yet who is so 
 self -conceited, that he imagines every pretty woman 
 is trying to inveigle him into perpetrating matri 
 mony once more. Poor man ! he recalls with 
 trembling the lectures and admonitions of days 
 gone by, which his gentle spouse was in the habit 
 
170 SPAKKLES FJ2OM SARATOGA. 
 
 of administering, and is too glad to be free from the 
 harness to put it on again. 
 
 Next comes the hale and hearty widower, with 
 his hair tinged with gray; but with a heart as 
 young as ever. The only reason that this man 
 does not get married seems to be that the young 
 ladies snub him, and for the old ones he has no ad 
 miration. He forgets that he, himself, is old. He 
 is on the lookout for a young wife, and some foolish 
 girl who is attracted by his money will at last accept 
 him, and cozen the old man into the belief that she 
 loves him. 
 
 His after experience of connubial bliss will 
 probably consist in finding that he has a young 
 wife who is fonder of flirting with young men than 
 of stroking his gray whiskers, and rubbing his 
 spectacles, and attending generally to his antiquated 
 wants. 
 
 " Do you think you could love an old man ? " 
 said a widower of this sort, with his most sentimen 
 tal air, to Miss Madge. 
 
 " No, I thank you," replied Madge, who thought 
 the question rather personal. " Grandpa is a dear 
 old fellow, but then he cannot dance the i dip,' for 
 he is troubled with gout ; he drinks Congress water, 
 which is horrible ; he snores terribly ; in fact, no 
 
WIDOWERS. 171 
 
 one would think of falling in love with my grand 
 pa and why should I fall in love with anybody 
 else's grandpa "? " Which settled the question. 
 
 The most interesting and the most captivating 
 of all widowers is the young widower. If he has 
 one or two children, it is astonishing what a sudden 
 interest all the young ladies take in the " sweet 
 little dears," how much anxiety they express on 
 their account, and how tenderly they sympathize 
 with the young man in his loss. 
 
 If the young widower keeps house, how much 
 sorrow is expressed for his lonely condition ! and if 
 the house be a brown-stone front, the feminine 
 sympathy is something wonderful to contemplate. 
 
 Mammas, too, seize hold of this forlorn young 
 man, and talk in a motherly way of the need his 
 little ones have of maternal care of the necessity 
 a mansion has of a mistress, etc., etc., and then 
 usually follows a pathetic allusion to the remarkable 
 domestic virtues of their own daughters. 
 
 There isn't a young unmarried man who stands a 
 chance of winning when his rival is a handsome, 
 ; rich young widower. 
 
 As for the widows, we have several specimens of 
 feminine mourners here. 
 
 They have such an agreeable way of mourning, 
 
 
172 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 too. They wear such dainty toilettes, such airy 
 black dresses, such cunning little widow's caps, for 
 there is no use of being a widow unless you let 
 .people know it by wearing a cap. "We have jolly 
 widows here whose lives seem perpetual sunbeams ; 
 we have fair, languishing widows, sentimental 
 widows, tall and stately widows, widows who are 
 rigid and serene, to whom no man would even ven 
 ture to propose, and widows whose every glance is a 
 man-trap to catch some unwary heart. 
 
 Do not imagine a widow is rich because she 
 spends her season at Saratoga. Diamonds and 
 costly garments are not necessary to a widow's 
 wardrobe, and she may, or may not, have those arti 
 cles at her command. 
 
 It is very easy to borrow a little boy ; have one 
 or two stylish mourning dresses most elaborately 
 weeded ; a cap or two of white muslin, which is 
 after all but an apology for a cap, being a becoming 
 white bow with two long ends and come here and 
 pass for a young widow. 
 
 Papas who have failed to marry off their daugh 
 ters after several expensive seasons at Saratoga, 
 and who find them on their hands decidedly passe, 
 might humor the widow farce and find it quite 
 economical. 
 
WIDOWERS. 173 
 
 We notice that the ricli widows, those who 
 really have all they wish at command have no 
 idea of getting married again. They enjoy their 
 independence too heartily to relinquish it, which 
 entitles them to be placed upon the list of sensible 
 widows. 
 
XXV. 
 
 THE young man from abroad has promised to tell 
 U.SN about his love affairs. At present he seems to 
 have, as he pathetically expresses it, a " morning, 
 noon, and night love ! " 
 
 As I have before remarked, the young lady who 
 is charming in the evening, is not always adorable in 
 the morning, and vice versa, which probably ac 
 counts for this young man's diversity of sweet 
 hearts. 
 
 For a time he was desperately taken with the 
 sweet, spirituelle face and beautiful ringlets of a 
 fair lady -here. But yesterday he discovered that 
 the ringlets were false, and although the sweet face is 
 still there, it has lost its charm. 
 
 But, speaking of the difference between morning 
 and evening, even the young man from abroad 
 wears a new and strange aspect to-day. He is re 
 markably pale. He has, I fear, been refused by the 
 merry little heiress, and although he has many 
 times whispered his love, he refrains from circulat- 
 
THE BACHELOR'S TRUNK. 
 
1Y5 
 
 ing his cruel disappointment. Poor fellow ! It is 
 such a pathetic sight to see him lose his roses, to be 
 hold 
 
 " Concealment, like a worm f the bud, 
 Feed on his damask cheek ! " 
 
 But as he has a " love " for each time of the day, he 
 will undoubtedly soon recover. 
 
 It is no unusual circumstance for a young lady to 
 visit Saratoga with a half dozen trunks, sundry par 
 cels, bandboxes, etc. 
 
 Poodles are, generally, thank fortune ! left at 
 home. Probably in view of the fact that plenty 
 of the species may be found here. 
 
 But when a gentleman finds three trunks scarcely 
 adequate to containing his wardrobe and "fixings," 
 the fact certainly demands our attention. 
 
 As we have had an amusing account of such a 
 trio of trunks, which belong to a young bachelor, and 
 of their delightful state of disorder just as might be 
 expected of a solitary man we cannot help linger 
 ing a little while over the troubles of the owner of 
 these same trunks whom we have dubbed the 
 majestic bachelor. 
 
 When he wishes to especially array himself for 
 any particular occasion, as for instance a ball or 
 
170 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 hop, he is obliged to call in the assistance of a friend 
 to assist him at his toilette. 
 
 The first business of this " full dress " occasion 
 is, of course, to find the garments required. 
 
 The friend kindly consents to rummage the three 
 trunks, and being informed that there larks some 
 where in the recesses of those receptacles, a swallow 
 tail coat, he commences to search "fishing for 
 bites," as he quaintly expresses it. 
 
 He dives into trunk number One. The first 
 thing 'which appears, is a pair of inexpressibles, 
 considerably too short and too narrow for their 
 owner, evidently not a dress coat. 
 
 The next plunge brings up a pair of boots, 
 crammed with white cravats, and gloves of all 
 colors. Examination reveals the cravats too rumpled 
 for further use, and the gloves are entirely too 
 small for the majestic bachelor, since they bear evi 
 dence of having been worn by fair hands alone. 
 
 Which is also strongly suggestive of the fact that 
 these gloves are sundry gages d? amour which this 
 young man has received. If the young ladies who 
 bestowed them could only see that pair of boots, 
 which has, alas, become their common receptacle ! 
 Further search in that trunk brings up no coat of 
 the desired pattern, it being filled to overflowing 
 
177 
 
 with a nondescript amount of clothing, mixed np 
 with boot-jacks, bowie-knives, Indian pipes, black 
 tresses which must have been clipped from some 
 Indian enchantress, for our friend has roughed it on 
 the frontiers, and, in fact, everything but the re 
 quired garment. 
 
 Trunk No. Two then undergoes inspection. 
 
 And, lo ! what a revelation is there ! Photo 
 graphs of all styles of feminine beauties not a hor 
 rid man among them ! sweet, tender missives writ 
 ten by fair hands which have been forgotten long 
 ago, and mirabile dictu ! the locks of hair ! 
 
 Heally it would be well for this majestic bachelor 
 to have a little sale of false tresses, for he has an 
 alarming collection of black and brown, of red and 
 golden tresses ; in fact, of every shade of hair which 
 ever adorned a woman's head. 
 
 Perhaps it is because " woman's hair is like 
 wine," as he is fond of saying, that he has so care 
 fully treasured up the collection. 
 
 It is painful to reflect how this foolish man must 
 have been deceived. 
 
 How many of those locks does he suppose really 
 grew upon the heads of their wearers ? 
 
 And what young lady in these days l^as ringlets lux 
 uriant enough to spare a lock to each of her lovers ? 
 
178 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 And then, again, what young lady would care to 
 see her lovelock mingled with such a mass of di 
 verse tresses as were huddled together in this man's 
 trunk ? Those photographs, too ! 
 
 Bah ! the fickleness and inconstancy of man ! 
 
 Every nook and corner of that trunk was filled 
 with these mementos of past affections, a perfect 
 forest of dead leaves ; and with these, also, were 
 dozens of embroidered slippers, watch-pockets, 
 smoking-caps, and embroidered cravats, all made 
 by fair fingers, and presented to this thankless 
 man. 
 
 But still no dress coat. With a look of despair, 
 this bachelor's friend throws open the third trunk. 
 
 To describe what there met his astonished gaze, I 
 will not even attempt. Whoever has peeped into a 
 bachelor's sanctum, or investigated a bachelor's 
 trunk, may conceive of the grand confusion, the 
 utter contempt of the motto, " Everything in its 
 place," which this trunk revealed. Suffice it to say 
 that the trunk was thoroughly searched ; then its 
 contents emptied upon the floor but still no swallow 
 tail ! 
 
 The two other trunks shared the same fate, and 
 the bachelor's, sanctum presented a fearful picture 
 of disorder. And then, after all, the coat was found 
 
A BACHELOR'S TRUNKS. 179 
 
 at last, hanging upon a solitary peg behind the 
 door ! just like a man's forgetfulness ! 
 
 And so the majestic bachelor, and his friend, who, 
 by the way, happens to be no other than the young 
 man from abroad, went at last to the ball. 
 
 
XXVI. 
 
 THE TOURNAMENT. 
 
 WHO would not be in Saratoga and witness a 
 tournament ? 
 
 Yesterday afternoon, at five o'clock, this long- 
 talked-of affair came off at Glen Mitchell, a short 
 distance from Saratoga. A heavy shower of rain 
 was near spoiling all, but Jupiter Pluvius, evidently 
 pitying the disconsolate knights who, clad in armor, 
 and mounted upon their fiery steeds, were im 
 patiently awaiting the great tilt for the privilege of 
 crowning the fair Queen of Love and Beauty, and, 
 doubtless, remembering his own gushing youth and 
 numerous flirtations, suddenly retreated, and the 
 sun shone once more, and everything was lovely. 
 
 Especially the knights, who moved down Broad 
 way, an imposing cortege of warriors, their armor 
 glittering in the sun, and their helmets shading their 
 mighty brows ! 
 
 Madge says " mighty brows " is stolen from Ho 
 mer, but it matters not. 
 
 Here were faithful aspirants for fame from the 
 
THE TOURNAMENT. 181 
 
 sunny South, from the frigid North, and from under 
 the melting skies of Saratoga. 
 
 Every one here will appreciate that term " melt- 
 ing." 
 
 At the head of this imposing array rode the Chief 
 Marshal, distinguished for his princely bearing, his 
 soldierly horsemanship, and above all, for the large 
 yellow umbrella which he flaunted in the skies to 
 protect his war-bronzed features from the fervid sun. 
 
 On they rode, followed by scores and scores of 
 sparkling bright eyes ; on they rode, a goodly com 
 pany of noble youths, filling the hearts of the stiff 
 old bachelors and forlorn old maidens with envy. 
 
 Soberly these elderly individuals scratched their 
 bare-faced heads and wished, alas ! to be young 
 once more. 
 
 On they rode, followed by a long retinue of splen 
 did equipages filled with the wealth and beauty of 
 the elite by the village people en masse, and by 
 every little boy who had chivalry enough to despise 
 the mud pools under his feet, and by every cur who 
 had lungs enough to utter a bark. 
 
 Every stage and every hack, filled to overflowing 
 with people on the qui vive to witness a tournament, 
 rattled on with incredible speed toward Glen Mit 
 chell. 
 
182 SPARKLES FEOM SARATOGA. 
 
 Arrived at this enchanting spot, we found the 
 grounds already filled with carriages, and the grand 
 stand thronged with fair ladies and their escorts. 
 
 Much amusement was created by a small boy a 
 very small boy who wore a mighty helmet from 
 which floated a long red plume, and who held a 
 huge trumpet in his hand. 
 
 This small personage stood with a nonchalant air 
 upon the top of a fence post, and with a mighty 
 blast of the trumpet heralded the oncoming of each 
 brave knight ; and at every powerful blast he blew 
 we feared that the small boy would be suddenly 
 capsized. 
 
 Three small rings wound with red were hung at 
 intervals over the course, and each knight was ex 
 pected to take each of these rings upon his lance as 
 he went by on his flying steed. But he didn't. 
 
 The trouble was not that the riders were lacking 
 in skill, but, unfortunately, most of the horses re 
 fused to fly ! 
 
 The obstinate creatures, who evidently had no 
 spark of chivalric feeling in their jaded breasts, 
 went leaping into the air at every sound of the trum 
 pet, splashed around in the fearful mud puddles, or 
 gracefully reared their hind hoofs against the near 
 est fence ! 
 
THE TOURNAMENT. 183 
 
 Really these horses seemed for once inspired with 
 ambition, but it was the same ambition which 
 thrilled that venturesome cow who, once upon a 
 time, is said to have " jumped over the moon ! " 
 
 These Saratoga coursers objected to spurs ; they 
 were afraid of lances ; and were obstinately resolve^ 
 not to wet their precious hoofs in the pools which 
 lay in their proper course; but they tried every 
 puddle to the right of them, and plunged frantically 
 at every fence to the left of them, which made it 
 extremely inconvenient to their gallant riders to 
 carry off the rings. 
 
 It is no wonder that these equine fantastics ut 
 terly dismayed the gallant knights, and many bit 
 terly repented that they had left their peaceful 
 homes in the sunny South in quest of Northern 
 fame. 
 
 But who that is worthy of the name of Knight 
 would give up the combat \ The more dangers to 
 be passed, the greater difficulties to be overcome ; 
 the greater the victory ; and if not a Pegasus was to 
 be found among the steeds, surely there were Bay 
 ards, and Ivanhoes, and Quixotes enough among the 
 knights. 
 
 And so the tilt commenced, and those whose 
 horses consented to go went flying past the rings, 
 
184 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 and cheer after cheer followed the knight who suc 
 cessfully brought back the three upon his lance. 
 
 Those who failed were laughed at for their pains, 
 which was not very courteous on the part of the 
 spectators, since some of the best riders were so 
 poorly mounted as to be unable to win any honors 
 at all. 
 
 Daring the tilt there were some splendid displays 
 of horsemanship. The knights who especially dis 
 tinguished themselves were the Knight of Wash 
 ington City ; the Knight of Fairfax ; the Knight of 
 Ontario ; the Knight of My Maryland ; the Knight 
 of Troy ; the Knight of Marlborough ; and the 
 Knight of Prince George. 
 
 We must not forget to mention that no one as 
 sisted the gallant Chief Marshal in the manage 
 ment of that yellow umbrella. The glory of suc 
 cessfully carrying that unique affair through the 
 tournament belongs to him alone. 
 
 The grand ball in the evening at the Grand 
 Union, which brought the tournament festivities to 
 a close, was a brilliant success. 
 
 The principal event of the evening was the crown 
 ing of the Queen of Love and Beauty, and of her 
 six maids of honor, these ladies being selected by 
 the seven victorious knights mentioned above. The 
 
THE TOURNAMENT. 185 
 
 name of each knight and of his chosen lady was 
 gracefully announced, and the honor of crowning 
 the queen was accorded to the Knight of Washing 
 ton City. And so ended the grand tournament. 
 
 We have a troop of wild Mexicans here who give 
 a daily exhibition of lariating wild cattle, as is the 
 custom on the plains of the far West and in Texas. 
 
 In fact there is no dearth of amusements. The 
 only trouble is to find time to taste of every pleasure 
 as it flies. 
 
XXVII. 
 
 THE KACES. 
 
 MADGE offended Aunt P. almost mortally yester 
 day by raving over the perfections of Harry Bas- 
 sett from " morn till dewy eve," and never telling 
 her that this splendid creature was only a horse. 
 
 Of course Aunt Prim would as soon think of 
 reading what she calls George Sand's " wicJced 
 novels," as of looking over the programme of a 
 race. And as for attending a race our worthy 
 aunt would expect to be annihilated upon the spot, 
 or at least to be removed from this happy world to 
 one not quite so enjoyable, should she yield to her 
 curiosity to witness such iniquity. But the rest of 
 our party entertained no such fears, since we found 
 the seats devoted to ladies upon the Grand Stand to 
 be covered with church cushions and plenty of 
 priests and members of their congregations just as 
 intent as we were upon seeing the evils of horse- 
 racing. 
 
 Even Aunt Prim might have been satisfied to 
 have found herself in such respectable society. 
 
THE RACES. 187 
 
 As for the immorality of betting, I. am sorry to 
 say that several ladies were provided with little 
 books and pencils, which they kept in constant use, 
 and a profusion of greenbacks passed through their 
 white, jewelled fingers during the races. 
 
 If ladies will wager money upon a race, would it 
 not be better to settle the matter in private, and not 
 to flaunt their, ill-gotten gains before the public 
 gaze? 
 
 We saw one pert little Miss, about twelve years 
 old, going around among her friends with a small 
 book in her hand and taking all the odds she could 
 gather against Barney "Williams. 
 
 These little bets seemed mostly to be entered as 
 kid gloves, perfumery, or some such trifles. In the 
 course of conversation little Miss proved herself to 
 be quite as much at home in the odd vernacular of 
 the race-course as was her papa. 
 
 Really, it is wonderful to mark the progressive 
 spirit of the rising generation in this age ! 
 
 The only wickedness worthy to be recorded 
 which Madge perpetrated at the races was that of 
 risking one of her brown curls upon Harry Bassett, 
 at the earnest solicitation of the Colonel. 
 
 I did not hear the Colonel's wager, but I have no 
 doubt his heart was at stake. 
 
188 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 He lost, of course. 
 
 Harry Bassett won the Kenner stakes and it 
 was a splendid sight to see this noble animal before 
 the race began, careering madly upon the turf, with 
 his nostrils expanded, his eyes flashing fire, and 
 almost unmanageable in the hands of his rider, so 
 eager was he to enter the contest. In fact he suc 
 ceeded once in his wild rearing and plunging to 
 send the jockey flying over his head, but the jockey 
 was evidently used to such playful tricks and did 
 not mind it. 
 
 Why don't they dress the jockeys in a becoming 
 manner ? 
 
 Such a grotesque-looking group of black imps 
 arrayed in faded yellow, green, or blue costumes, 
 would surely awaken the merriment of the specta 
 tors were they not so much absorbed with interest 
 in the horses. 
 
 The third race the summer handicap occa 
 sioned considerable discussion in our little party. 
 
 We all undertook to explain the term "handi 
 cap." 
 
 Madge thought the horses probably wore " caps," 
 of coarse of the latest style ! Fitz Hugh said they 
 passsed the cap around to collect money when this 
 race was over ; but the Colonel, who appeared, after 
 
THE KACE8. 189 
 
 all, to be the most perfectly au fait in wickedness, 
 finally explained the matter. 
 
 I am not so sure, however, that we fully under 
 stand it yet. 
 
 The steeple-chase which followed was both novel 
 and exciting. How the horses went flying along 
 over the green turf, leaping hedges and stone walls 
 with the speed of an arrow ; and clearing the pools 
 of water beyond the walls, without so much as wet 
 ting their flying hoofs. Every one looked on in a 
 state of breathless excitement. 
 
 Madge became utterly oblivious of the Colonel. 
 Fitz Hugh sighed in vain, and tried his best to 
 have revenge in getting up a flirtation with the 
 lady who sat behind him. 
 
 Probably, however, his admiration of her bright 
 eyes dropped to zero when she exclaimed, as a 
 jockey went flying over his horse's head: 
 
 " Dear me ! is he hurted f " 
 
 The way those horses threw their riders as they 
 went on their mad gallop over the hedges was 
 something to be wondered at, as well as the sudden 
 dexterity with which the jockeys remounted and 
 rushed on to the goal. 
 
 But races are cruel things, wicked things, despite 
 
190 SPAKKLES FJROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the interest and the excitement they never fail to 
 arouse. 
 
 Think of poor Longfellow, that splendid animal, 
 flying over the turf swift as any bird, with his 
 proud carriage of head, with his flashing eyes so 
 full of intelligence and power a horse that 
 ri vailed in beauty and speed the famous Kochlaui 
 breed of the far East, descendants of King Solo 
 mon's swiftest coursers Longfellow but the day 
 before yesterday king of the turf, no other daring 
 to dispute his well-earned honors with him, and 
 yesterday, dragging his feeble limbs from the 
 course, drooping his head mournfully as he went, 
 the wreck of the beauty and strength he was but 
 an hour before, driven to the death for sordid gold, 
 and all to amuse a gaping, wondering crowd ! And 
 this is why racing is so cruel. Not satisfied with a 
 horse which accomplishes marvels of strength and 
 speed, his owner must test his utmost powers of en 
 durance, and the poor brute is lashed to a cruel 
 death. 
 
 Truly, who thinks of making so much of a mo 
 ment of time as the owner of a fleet racer ? 
 
 It does seem as though the intelligence of a brute 
 often surpassed that of his master. 
 
 Fifty thousand dollars was refused this week for 
 
THE RACES. 191 
 
 this superb Longfellow, and to-day lie is worth 
 comparatively nothing. 
 
 The great four-mile dash between Longfellow 
 and Helmbold was the most exciting race of the 
 season, having been long talked of, and thou 
 sands of people were upon the ground to witness 
 it. 
 
 In the first three miles around Longfellow kept 
 ahead of his rival, with his magnificent strides, 
 which seemed to spurn the brown earth ; but on the 
 last mile his endurance gave way, and Helmbold 
 easily passed him, and reached the goal amid a burst 
 of overwhelming cheers. 
 
 Hundreds of caps went flying up in the air, and 
 the little darkies who were as thick as blackber 
 ries in July, and who sat perched like so many 
 " blackbirds all in a row " upon the white fences 
 leaped from their position as the horses came 
 round upon the home stretch, and went rolling 
 over and over 011 the grass in an extravagance 
 of joy. 
 
 I have no patience with beautiful Maude, who 
 sat near us at the races. She was so engrossed with 
 the soft words and tender glances of young Limber- 
 flap, that she failed altogether to catch the spirit of 
 the hour, and the horses might have had wings like 
 
192 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Pegasus, and their riders have been dressed in the 
 hues of the rainbow, without absorbing Miss 
 Maude to the degree of forgetfulness of her new 
 lover. 
 
 We drove back from the race-course over Lake 
 Avenue, which has been so graphically described as 
 the avenue with "three elegant rows of shade 
 trees." "We saw those trees barren sticks about 
 ten feet high, with a little bunch of leaves on their 
 tops, with not enough verdure to shelter a bird, and 
 witli a possible shade ten years off. 
 
 Yet over this smooth, wide road, there is a con 
 stant rolling of elegant equipages ; and what would 
 become of the display of costly toilettes if there 
 were too many trees ? 
 
 For a truly delightful drive give me some narrow 
 winding road where the tall forest trees cast dark 
 shadows over the w r ay, imparting a dim, mysterious 
 look to the depths beyond them, and with little 
 glimpses of running brooks flashing back the few 
 sunbeams they catch between the thick foliage. 
 
 Then the birds flitting from bough to bough, 
 twittering their love-songs with no fear of listeners, 
 and the bright-eyed squirrels peeping out upon you 
 from the roadside, as if in wonder that intruders 
 should venture so near their haunts. 
 
XXVIII. 
 
 PLYING THE NEEDLE. 
 
 NOTING the remarkable efforts of Miss Industry 
 upon the piazza after dinner, as she weaves bright 
 colors upon the canvas with her needle, reminds 
 me that when I was a " wee bit of a girl," in short 
 frocks and pinafores, Aunt Prim exerted her best 
 endeavors, and I have no doubt tried her patience 
 to the utmost, in teaching me to sew. It was a tire 
 some task, I remember well, for hemming hand 
 kerchiefs and darning stockings always failed to 
 awaken my childish enthusiasm. 
 
 It was so much easier and pleasanter to ramble 
 through bushes and briars, and clamber over fences, 
 to the serious detriment of aprons and dresses, than 
 it was to do penance afterward by having to mend 
 them. 
 
 It was one of Aunt Prim's favorite theories that 
 no girl was fit to get married who could not darn a 
 stocking neatly ; and so, as I was expected to grow 
 up and attain the old-fashioned goal of womanly 
 
194 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 ambition to be married I was early initiated into 
 the mysterious art of darning. 
 
 But this employment merited and awakened my 
 everlasting disgust when the committee of a county 
 fair, having offered a prize for the best specimen of 
 needle-work to be displayed in a pair of darned 
 stockings, and these to be done by an unmarried 
 lady, I timidly sent in my specimen, which every 
 body declared was " beautifully done," and I nattered 
 myself that I was sure to obtain the prize, when lo ! 
 an officious old maid fifty years old nourished 
 her mended hose triumphantly before that com 
 mittee and bore away the prize. 
 
 I never could discover the justice of this decision 
 for if that woman did happen to be unmarried, 
 I'm sure she was old enough to have been married 
 long before. 
 
 I cannot forget that while acquiring the art of the 
 needle, I often felt inclined to wish all the men who 
 made needles were enjoying themselves together at 
 the bottom of the Red Sea. 
 
 How the thread would snarl, the seams would 
 pucker, and how 1, losing all patience, would com 
 mence to cry, and the tears, blinding my eyes, would 
 thrust the sharp needle into my little fingers instead 
 of into the wayward muslin. 
 
PLYING THE NEEDLE. 195 
 
 And there was Aunt Prim, always enjoining upon 
 me : " Sophie, my child, be sure to fasten the threads 
 well, and to hide the Jmot." 
 
 And then, with a skilful turn of the needle, she 
 would thrust the ugly knot under the delicate henij 
 and all would appear smooth and neat. I wondered 
 how she did it, for I never could do it in those days. 
 
 The days of hand-sewing, thank Heaven, are 
 almost over. No longer shall woman be enslaved 
 to that cruel little despot, the needle that miserable 
 tyrant, which stitched, and stitched her very soul 
 out of Paradise! 
 
 Now, the sewing-machine, that dearest of modern 
 Penates, which " has never a soul to save," does the 
 tiresome work of the needle ; and, arguing from 
 the constant inventions intended to dispense with 
 human labor, by and by we shall have nothing to 
 do with ruffles and tucks, except to wear them. 
 Those days, I think, will be the dawning of the 
 millennium at least to womankind. 
 
 But, though no longer I sit beside Aunt Prim 
 learning to "hide the knot," there are still knots to 
 be hidden and threads to be fastened well. 
 
 What is a besetting sin but a knot, which requires 
 to be concealed and smoothed away from our lives ? 
 
 What is the first footstep toward evil, but a 
 
196 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 loosened thread^ which, unless carefully secured, 
 will rip and ravel until all is lost ? 
 
 Envy, pride, malice, and a thousand other sins of 
 petty magnitude, are all knots in human nature 
 the snags which roughen the otherwise smooth 
 current of life. 
 
 There is Nettie Hay, who is one of the loveliest 
 girls to be met. Her eyes are as radiant as two 
 stars ; her dear little head is " all running over with 
 curls," and the lily and the rose are blended in her 
 complexion; the dimples play at hide and seek 
 around her dainty little mouth when she smiles and 
 Nettie Ray smiles often, but not always. There is, 
 alas! an ugly knot in Nettie's character which it 
 would be well if she could forever hide. 
 
 She has an unhappy way of allowing her temper 
 to. "run away with her;" of letting the fire of 
 angry passion burn until it consumes all the sweet 
 buds of love and affection which cluster around her. 
 And when the tempest of anger has sway over her, 
 Nettie Ray is lovely no longer. 
 
 Perhaps she had no Aunt Prim when she was a 
 child, to teach her how to hide the knot. 
 
 And there is old Father Mildew. He has the 
 blandest temper in the world, but he is the most 
 penurious old man who ever begrudged taking a 
 
PLYING THE NEEDLE. 197 
 
 step because it wore out shoe leather. For him there 
 is no joy so sweet as counting his gold. 
 
 He views the ever-increasing pile with exquisite 
 delight, and his long, thin fingers tremble with 
 eagerness as he places coin upon coin and note upon 
 note. Father Mildew is a faithful attendant at church, 
 and regards the unrighteous ones of this world with 
 holy horror. 
 
 He is a devotee, it is true, but to all outward ap 
 pearance his god is Mammon. Christian though he 
 flatters himself to be, Father Mildew would proba 
 bly experience a keen pang of regret if required to 
 leave this world for the untold joys of heaven, since 
 he could not carry his treasure with him. Poor old 
 man ! He fancies that the world is blind to his 
 avariciousness. But it is every day displayed ; dis 
 played by his poor wife and daughters, who go so 
 shabbily dressed, and who are obliged to eke out 
 their existence with the utmost economy. His chil 
 dren, who, after all, must some day inherit all his 
 wealth, are scantily fed, scantily dressed, and scantily 
 educated. 
 
 The rich mines of learning, the treasures of art, 
 the paths of culture which lead to eminence or fame 
 are closed to them, since their father's griping hand 
 
198 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 withholds the gold which might enrich their minds 
 and hearts. 
 
 No concerts, no lectures, no delightful wanderings 
 through galleries of art for those young people. 
 
 No piano in the house, no painting, scarcely an 
 engraving and, as for books, Father Mildew was 
 never known to purchase anything in that line ex 
 cept a ledger. 
 
 The daily life of such a family is necessarily cold 
 and hard, and, instead of experiencing the loving 
 care of a generous father, Father Mildew's children 
 are taught that they should be thankful for their 
 bread and butter, and expect nothing more. 
 
 And so, while the family are starving soul and 
 body, the pile of gold increases. But every day 
 lessens the short distance between that old man a,nd 
 the grave. Father Mildew must relinquish his 
 treasure at last and go the way of all mankind. 
 
 The probability of such an event has, it would 
 seem, occurred to his mind, since it is really true 
 that in a dark corner of his house lies the coffin 
 which he purchased for himself, and which, so says 
 the world, he purchased after long haggling and 
 parleying, for fifty cents less than the price, be 
 cause it had a crack in it. 
 
 It will readily be supposed, that after he is gone, 
 
PLYING THE NEEDLE. 199 
 
 his children who have never been taught to con 
 trol money will forget everything but the new 
 found pleasure of spending it, and so the carefully 
 hoarded savings will after all be wasted. 
 
 Had old Father Mildew been more liberal ; had 
 he shown his children that there is more virtue in 
 spending wisely than in hoarding foolishly, had they 
 received the advantages which he was fully able to 
 give them, then as Aunt Prim would say " the 
 threads would have been fastened well," and his 
 wealth would not be squandered, like stitches which 
 drop, one after another, until all are gone. 
 
 The very opposite of the vice of avarice, as ex 
 hibited in meagreness of life and closeness of purse, 
 is the inordinate love of display evinced by some 
 people. 
 
 With them every dollar is spread out in ar. al 
 most marvellous way, until the absurd w r orld allows 
 itself to be really dazzled by what is, after all, but 
 the thinnest spreading of gold over a mass of empti 
 ness and deceit ! 
 
 What useless heart-burnings what little jealousies 
 and rankling sorrows, sting like venomous serpents 
 in this vain strife of folly. 
 
 The truest happiness is the most unselfish. An 
 unselfish action never fails to bring more pleasure 
 
200 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 than one which springs from a selfish motive. A 
 good deed is a pebble thrown into the stream of life. 
 The pebble cast into the stream causes the eddying 
 waves to form a circle which widens and widens 
 until it is lost in the vast deeps of the ocean. 
 
 So the good deed extends its influence through 
 the world in a circle which forever increases until it 
 touches the shores of the Infinite, and there receives 
 its reward. 
 
 The sum of life is made up of little things. It is 
 the petty sins, rather than great crimes, which cause 
 the greater portion of the world's unhappiness. 
 The everyday follies which need to be overcome, 
 the little knots which ruffle our tempers, are those 
 which embitter our lives. If these could be con 
 quered, and laid away out of sight forever, what a 
 comfortable world this would be to live in ! 
 
XXIX. 
 
 HINTS TO HUSBANDS. 
 
 IT is always amusing to hear the sage philoso 
 phers among those who style themselves the " lords 
 of creation," prate about the quiet life of woman! 
 
 I should like any one of them to take his book, 
 his pen, or his ledger, and seat himself for one hour 
 in the nursery ! 
 
 I should like to have a carte de msite of the man 
 who would patiently endure to be shut up for one 
 whole day in a room with five or six healthy, active, 
 romping children. 
 
 That picture should have a most honored place in 
 my album ! 
 
 You may talk of the bustle of business, of the 
 noise of the outer world, and the quiet precincts of 
 home, but I have never yet listened to a racket 
 which could compare with the shouting, laughing, 
 wrangling, and screaming of half a dozen children 
 shut up in that fabled quiet home. 
 
 There is the incessant pattering of little feet; 
 
 the clashing and clattering of dilapidated toys ; the 
 9* 
 
202 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 creaking of chairs as they perform the various 
 duties of both horses and cars; the upsetting of 
 tables ; the tearing of clothes and the bursting of 
 buttons; the loud lamentations over bumped heads 
 and injured noses; and, chiming in with all this, 
 are the fearful cries or endless wailing of " the 
 baby " who is teething ! 
 
 And over this modern Bedlam usually presides 
 some patient, weary mother, whose unstrung nerves 
 and throbbing head betoken anything but a quiet 
 life. 
 
 Now, any man who would endure this overpow 
 ering din, this woman's quiet, during the short time 
 of one revolution of the earth upon its axis, and 
 preserve his serenity of mind undisturbed, ought to 
 receive a gold medal, and to be held up forever as 
 a model for all husbands and fathers to imitate. 
 
 And yet nearly every mother of a family who 
 has children to be proud of for all bright, healthy 
 children are sure to be boisterous is obliged to en 
 dure this noise and confusion every day, while no 
 one thinks of rewarding her for enduring it patiently ! 
 
 If the burden becomes intolerable, and she frets, 
 or loses her temper, the poor woman is said to be 
 cross, or a scold. 
 
 It is not to be wondered at, perhaps, that men 
 
HINTS TO HUSBANDS. 203 
 
 are inclined to picture home as a quiet place. 
 After the business of the day is over, the pater 
 familias seeks his fireside. The roguish little ones 
 who from dawn to nightfall have been the very em 
 bodiment of perpetual motion, are at last tired of 
 play, and one by one drop off into slumber. Even 
 the baby, having exhausted himself with fretful- 
 ness, shuts his eyes for a short nap, wherewith to 
 recruit the strength of his lungs for the next waking 
 hours. 
 
 The mother sits quietly mending the torn little 
 garments which the sleepers have cast off, and the 
 father looks over his evening paper, or smokes his 
 cigar, in blissful repose before the cheerful fire. 
 
 No wonder the father fancies that home is a quiet 
 place ! 
 
 But there must be daylight as well as gaslight 
 for viewing impartially the scenes around the do 
 mestic hearth. 
 
 Surely woman needs no reproaches for wishing 
 to enlarge her sphere. 
 
 I think it would do no harm if every wife who 
 has been making an angel of herself for an indefi 
 nite period of time ; who has been an all-enduring, 
 long-suffering, devoted martyr to her husband's 
 caprices, should change her tactics for a time. 
 
204 SPAKKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 Not but that all wives should endeavor to be good 
 wives, but then husbands are so apt to " entertain 
 angels unawares ! " They should be allowed to 
 perceive the difference between home with the 
 angel and home without her, lest they neglect to 
 duly appreciate the divinity of the household. 
 
 Now, husbands think nothing of taking them 
 selves off for a few days, or even longer, by way of 
 recreation and amusement, and it passes my com 
 prehension entirely, why a wife should be always 
 expected to stay at home, tied to the self -same spot 
 forever by invisible chains which are as binding as 
 were the laws of the Medes and Persians. 
 
 Why should the wife and mother go about from 
 day to day, bearing always her burden of toil and 
 care, and never laying it aside 3 
 
 Why should she not have the liberty to escape 
 from thraldom once in a while as well as her hus 
 band ? 
 
 This is a good thing to contemplate, ye fathers 
 and husbands who are already planning your little 
 summer vacations. 
 
 Don't go away and leave your wives at home ! 
 
 If you are a man of laborious pursuits, you may 
 need rest and relief from care, but your wife needs 
 it also. 
 
HINTS TO HUSBANDS. 205 
 
 The fresh air of the country, the relaxation from 
 toil, or the gayety of the watering-place, which in 
 spires you with new life and new hope, will also 
 bring back the roses to your wife's pale cheek, and 
 the old gleam of lovelight to her eyes. 
 
 Don't go away selfishly to enjoy yourself, and 
 leave your wife fretting and toiling at home. 
 
 "All work and no play, makes Jack a dull 
 boy." 
 
 This is an old maxim and a true one. Yet how 
 plainly it shows upon the face of it that it was first 
 written by some selfish specimen of the genus 
 man ! Not one word is said of " Jack's " mother, 
 sister, or wife. As if " Jack " were the only person 
 of sufficient importance to be considered, and as if 
 Susie or Mollie were not quite as likely to be made 
 " dull " by overwork, as " Jack " ! 
 
 But the world was not made solely for " Jack's " 
 amusement and comfort, and it is quite time he 
 knew it. 
 
 Suppose the mistress of the family should take it 
 into her head to follow the example of her husband, 
 and leave home for a two or three days' visit ? She 
 upsets the house for a general sweeping or cleaning, 
 and then forgets to readjust it ! 
 
 She leaves the baby in the cradle with full liberty 
 
206 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 to develop his lungs, according to the baby's pet 
 method of performing that process ! 
 
 She gives the elder children plenty of bread and 
 syrup with which to appease their appetites ; puts 
 on the dinner pot, but neglects the fire ; and disap 
 pears a couple of hours before papa's return. 
 
 Would not there be a funny scene when that dear 
 man comes home ? 
 
 " My dears," he would say to the molasses-orna 
 mented cherubs of his hearth, " where is your ma ? " 
 
 " Dawn for a wisit ! " lisps two-year old. 
 
 " Indeed ! " says papa, wonderingly. 
 
 " I want my dinner ! " clamors the eldest. 
 
 " My hands all 'ticky ! " says two-year old, vainly 
 endeavoring to clean the little fingers On his pin 
 afore, to the decided embellishment of that gar 
 ment. 
 
 " Aa aa aa ! Boo oo oo ! " shrieks the baby 
 in the cradle. 
 
 Papa picks up the baby with a despairing look 
 upon his face, and looks into the dinner pot. 
 
 Everything placid there ! No water bubbling and 
 sputtering because it is required to boil ! 
 
 Papa remembers the old adage which says : u A 
 watched pot never boils ; " and replacing the cover, 
 he looks into the stove. 
 
HINTS TO HUSBANDS. 207 
 
 Everything quiet there also. Not the slightest trace 
 of red-hot, angry coals. Mamma did not mean that 
 the children should burn themselves on that stove. 
 
 Papa next goes into the larder, carrying the baby, 
 and followed by the other juveniles, and inspired 
 with the fond hope of finding some delicious bits 
 there in the shape of " cold victuals ! " 
 
 Not a pie nor cake not even a cold potato 
 meets his expectant gaze ! 
 
 And then this much-injured, aggrieved man be 
 takes himself back to his desolate hearth, followed 
 by all the syrup-sweetened cherubs and longing 
 for the return of her who alone can bring order to 
 this chaotic home. 
 
 He fully realizes the discomforts of " home with 
 out a mother ! " 
 
 There is a painful void in the wonted place of 
 that sweet feminine magician, who always manages 
 to have everything so cosey and comfortable, and 
 who casts over all the halo of her own sunny pres 
 ence. Yet, somehow or other, she is seldom appre 
 ciated until she disappears from the fireside when 
 presto ! how great the change 1 
 
 This state of affairs might seem rather hard at 
 first sight, but then it is a pity not to give husbands 
 the opportunity of being angelic once in a while ! 
 
208 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Wliat husband ever thinks of asking his wife if he 
 can leave home? And why should not the wife 
 have the same liberty ? It would afford such a re 
 freshing variety to the hum-drum monotony of 
 everyday life, to let the wife break a few of the 
 domestic jars, while the husband meekly picks up 
 the pieces, with only a " Don't, my dear ! " 
 
 Husbands should learn to be patient and lamb 
 like as well as wives. 
 
 The would-be rulers of this world have appointed 
 separate paths for man and woman. The public 
 highway which leads to wealth or fame is for man ; 
 the cool, sequestered vale for woman. Man is made 
 to toil in the full light of the sun ; woman to bloom 
 in the shade. Blue violets and golden buttercups 
 are supposed to be ever springing up under woman's 
 feet, which she has only to stoop to gather in her 
 hand so the poets say. But the thorns which so 
 cruelly pierce her feet, the bramble-bushes which 
 tear her delicate hands, and the reptiles which creep 
 through the shining grass, awaiting their opportunity 
 to sting, are utterly ignored. 
 
 Nothing is said of the thunder-clouds which lower 
 over this quiet path for woman. Possibly it is sup 
 posed that man's affection will afford a screen from 
 these. 
 
HINTS TO HUSBANDS. 209 
 
 Bah ! there is more virtue in one good, blue cot 
 ton umbrella for protection from the storm than in 
 a man's love ! And more reliance is to be placed 
 in it, too. 
 
 Women are continually warned not to leave their 
 own peculiar walk in life for the rough pathway of 
 man. 
 
 But if the public highway be paved with stones, 
 men certainly have amused themselves with the 
 boyish pastime of pitching them, since they have 
 fallen most plentifully along the green, quiet path 
 for woman! 
 
 If men would only desist from this destructive 
 and perilous amusement, and no longer ruthlessly 
 crush the violets and buttercups that spring up 
 around a woman's feet with rough cobble stones, 
 the Garden of Eden might bloom again, and woman 
 have no need to hurl back the pebbles at her assail 
 ants and cry out for the protection of her violets and 
 buttercups ! 
 
 There are few women, I may venture to say, but 
 would willingly choose the sphere of a quiet home 
 to that of any other ; few but would prefer the green, 
 sequestered vale of life, if through it lay the paths 
 of love and pleasantness and peace ! 
 
XXX. 
 
 ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 
 
 IF any one for a moment supposes that a lady's 
 bonnet lias nothing to do with the progression of 
 the age, or that its tiny weight can have no possible 
 bearing upon the great questions of the day, that 
 person is very much mistaken. 
 
 Women need ask no better signal of their coming 
 release from thraldom than that displayed by the 
 modern "love of a bonnet." Every rose-bud that 
 nestles above beauty's fair brow ; every ribbon that 
 flutters in the breeze, is the herald of approaching 
 victory. 
 
 To prove all this, and to refute the wiseacres who 
 aver that the present is by no means equal to the 
 past, I have only to bring to mind that revolu 
 tionary relic of my sainted great-grandmother, 
 which lies at home in a neglected corner, with the 
 dust of a century upon its expansive brim and 
 faded flowers, and to flourish triumphantly beside it 
 my last new bonnet. 
 
 This bonnet of mine, it is true, is not much to 
 
ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 211 
 
 speak of in the way of size ; only a red rose peeping 
 out from a bit of lace, a scrap of velvet, and two 
 long fluttering blue ribbons, just to give the whole 
 an air of reality that is all. 
 
 There are people who spend their precious time 
 in lamenting the past, while they utterly ignore the 
 blessings of the present. 
 
 But to me, this jaunty little hat, fresh from the 
 hands of the milliner, is an inestimable joy when 
 compared to the bonnet of my earliest recollections. 
 
 The bonnet of my childhood ! 
 
 All, if there be lurking in my gentle heart one 
 atom of implacable animosity, it is against that 
 bonnet. 
 
 How I wish that I could instantaneously photo 
 graph upon the " mind's eye " of the reader my re 
 markable personal appearance as I appeared in the 
 head-gear of that period. 
 
 That is, the bonnet appeared, but as for myself, 
 the only clue to my identity was to be found in a 
 pair of small shoes, a ruffle or two, and the hem of 
 an apron. 
 
 I was completely enveloped in the embrace of my 
 direst foe a foe hated as profoundly as the 
 memory of Bluebeard, and dreaded almost as much 
 an the terrible bears, which I firmly believed were 
 
212 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 lurking in unseen places, ready at any moment to 
 spring out and devour naughty little girls. 
 
 That bonnet stood between me and heaven ; for 
 what glimpses could I catch of the bright blue sky 
 above when lost in its bewildering depths ? 
 
 It also initiated me in the wicked art of decep 
 tion by leading into irresistible temptation, for the 
 instant I escaped far enough from home to avoid 
 the ever- watchful maternal eye, that bonnet came 
 suddenly off from my head, and had it been gifted 
 with speech it might have complained loudly of 
 violence. 
 
 But the half of my tribulations would fail to be 
 realized did I omit to describe this distasteful affair. 
 
 It was made of strips of pasteboard about a foot 
 in length, which were so arranged as to project over 
 the face. These were covered with blue lawn, and 
 a huge ruffle was added to the front by way of im 
 parting an artistic finish. A long cape was 
 attached to protect my neck and arms from the 
 fervor of the sun. 
 
 People in those days had evidently no faith in the 
 sun-cure. 
 
 It would be impossible to give the exact length of 
 that bonnet-cape, for " still the wonder grew ; " 
 since, for every inch added to my stature, my 
 
ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 213 
 
 mother added an inch to that cape, so that I seemed 
 destined never to escape from its tyranny. 
 
 Howl envied my brother Fred the jaunty little 
 cap which rested so lightly on his golden curls. 
 
 If anything chanced to awaken his boyish enthu 
 siasm, it was but the work of an instant to snatch 
 that cap from his head and to send it far up into 
 the air, as he shouted "hurrah! hurrah!" If I 
 attempted to follow his example, even though I was 
 successful in untying a perplexing pair of strings 
 firmly fastened under my chin, I was doomed to dis 
 appointment, for that pasteboard iniquity always 
 refused to soar. 
 
 It needed nothing more than the sight of Fred's 
 cap careering in the air to early instil into my 
 mind a keen sense of the inequality between the 
 sexes, and of the cruel wrongs we poor feminines 
 had to endure. 
 
 The very fact that Fred would have scouted the 
 idea of appearing in a girl's bonnet was enough to 
 condemn it. I have seen a boy baby of less than 
 two years rebel furiously at having a sun-bonnet 
 tied under his dimpled chin by his anxious mamma. 
 
 But I never saw an embryo belle behave in like 
 manner. Little girls usually accept their fate with 
 the most commendable meekness. 
 
214 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Why shouldn't Fred be compelled to grope his 
 way about the garden, over high fences, and to 
 climb trees in a huge sun-bonnet as well as I ? 
 
 For over fences and up the trees I followed Fred, 
 at the imminent risk, however, of suddenly depart 
 ing from this world. 
 
 Not that I was unadapted by nature for perform 
 ing these gymnastic feats as well as my brother, but 
 because I was hampered and hedged in by a tire 
 some lot of ruffles and flounces, which were not to 
 be torn, and my vision was sadly obscured by an in 
 tervening wall of pasteboard. 
 
 The only wonder is that I escaped being a youth 
 ful martyr to fashion, and reached the years of 
 maturity with unbroken limbs. 
 
 Why I wore sun-bonnets while Fred rejoiced in 
 caps was a perplexing problem which I often re 
 solved in my mind without arriving at any satisfac 
 tory conclusion. 
 
 At last the matter was made plain to me. I dis 
 covered that it was my mother's especial solicitude 
 that my complexion should be untouched by the 
 sun or the wind. 
 
 If the sun kissed Fred's rosy cheeks with ardor, 
 it only added to his beauty, and it was remarked 
 what a lovely color he had. 
 
ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 215 
 
 But as for poor me, what greater misfortune could 
 happen to a girl than to be browned and freckled by 
 the sun ? 
 
 Nut-brown maids were not at all in favor with 
 those who had the care of my childhood, and so I 
 was compelled to grope my melancholy way out of 
 doors, almost hidden from the light that some day, 
 far off in the future, somebody else's "brother 
 Fred " might find me as fair as a lily, with a com 
 plexion of roses and cream, and so surrender his 
 heart at once. 
 
 But as I had no ambition in those days for the 
 future conquests I was intended to make, and had 
 not the slightest desire to rival the lily or the snow 
 in whiteness, was it any wonder that I sometimes 
 rebelled ? 
 
 The pasteboard sun-bonnet was doleful enough 
 in a fresh state, but it reached its climax of horrors 
 when the paper lost its stiffness, and every adverse 
 wind flapped it defiantly in my face. 
 
 At last I positively refused to submit to this in 
 quisition any longer, and as I remained firm, fashion 
 had to change. 
 
 The next contrivance which was devised to keep 
 me in durance vile by debarring my eyes from all 
 
216 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 but slight glimpses of either heaven or earth, was a 
 gingham bonnet gathered over large cords. 
 
 This also was finished around the front with a 
 ruffle, and displayed the inevitable cape. 
 
 The experience of later years has often led me to 
 wonder if ruffles had not a great deal to do with the 
 insipidity of women a man's attire is so plain, 
 while a woman's garment is covered with superflu 
 ous nonsense. While so much adornment is lav 
 ished upon the outer self, it would not be strange if 
 the intelligence was sometimes sadly neglected. 
 
 Having received the last touch of the needle, 
 this new miracle of womanly skill was starched to 
 its utmost capacity and ironed in the laundress' very 
 best style. 
 
 With this affair securely tied upon my rebellious 
 head, I set forth for a ramble with Fred. 
 
 Alas ! and alas ! The four winds of heaven 
 seemed to have broken loose for the especial purpose 
 of howling inside of that bonnet. 
 
 How they whistled and shrieked in their shrillest 
 tones about my ears, inside of that terrible bonnet, 
 which creaked and rattled in response as if with the 
 wildest joy ! 
 
 I took it off and viewed it with a new dismay. 
 
 I tried to persuade Fred to change his old cap for 
 
ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 217 
 
 my new bonnet ; but, of course, Fred wouldn't. 
 In fact, I never could discover in Fred the slightest 
 desire to possess a bonnet, although I often sounded 
 him upon the subject. 
 
 With a feeling that bordered upon the sublimity 
 of despair, I replaced the hateful covering upon my 
 head. And, while I stood irresolute as to the first 
 defensive step I should take in regard to this new 
 grievance, a kindly gust of wind carried the bonnet 
 off from my head and left it in the middle of a tub- 
 full of water. 
 
 JSTo one could ever shake my belief in providential 
 interferences after that. 
 
 How the pride and stiff pomposity of that bit 
 of gingham suddenly collapsed in the water, 
 until it became a limp, flimsy rag which nobody 
 had need to fear. The poor thing was evidently out 
 of its element. 
 
 I rubbed my hands with childish glee at this 
 mishap, and actually borrowed Fred's cap to toss in 
 the air, the better to express my joy at the end of 
 this new trouble. 
 
 But the end was not yet come, for lo ! upon the 
 morrow, the bonnet, having undergone some mys 
 terious process in the kitchen, reappeared " as good 
 
 10 
 
218 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Its first exploit in the water, however, did not 
 escape my mind, and one day when I went fishing 
 with Fred, somehow accidentally, of course that 
 bonnet fell into the stream and floated beyond our 
 reach out towards the sea. I have often reflected 
 upon its ultimate fate, since it seemed destined to 
 have a career. And, being of a poetic turn of 
 mind, I composed a sonnet upon the occasion, which 
 suggested that my persecutor had been snatched up 
 as a prize by some luckless mermaid. I only hope 
 it did not break her heart ! 
 
 I also wrote a lament for its departure, prompted 
 by the same spirit of grief which impels people 
 sometimes to express sorrow for the loss of a friend 
 whom they would by no means bring back to this 
 world. 
 
 The only advantage I ever could discover in the 
 old-fashioned sun-bonnet was, that if any presump 
 tuous schoolboy ever felt tempted to give his little 
 sweetheart a kiss, that bonnet most effectually op 
 posed him. 
 
 But I turn from my own grievances to consider 
 the immense affair which once shaded the sweet 
 face of my grandmother at eighteen, and which 
 maintained its dignity under the eupnonious title 
 of " poke-bonnet." 
 
ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 219 
 
 Imagine, for a moment, a bevy of Saratoga 
 belles wearing poke-bonnets! How many times 
 have I reverently taken this quaint old bonnet down 
 from its nook in the closet, and brushing away the 
 dust, viewed it with melancholy reflection ! 
 
 It is made of the finest Leghorn, with a brim a 
 foot wide, shaped so as to expand scuttle-fashion 
 over the face. This brim is backed by a crown 
 which rises almost to a peak, and is surmounted 
 with a bunch of faded flowers. Upon the side of 
 this odd-looking crown there still hangs a bunch of 
 rumpled ribbons of the palest blue. 
 
 Ah, those faded flowers ! How eloquently do 
 they speak of beauty perished long ago! Of 
 bright eyes which once glanced out from this queer 
 old bonnet, and of clustering cnrls which strayed 
 beneath it. 
 
 And then the tattered ribbons, with just enough 
 of blue left in their silken shreds to suggest the 
 heaven of youth and love, of hope and joy, which 
 once made sunshine in an earthly home, but which 
 have passed long since into that summer land, where 
 the flowers never fade, and the sky is always blue. 
 
 There is a world of sweet memories, of quaint 
 old fancies, and poetic dreams, clustering around 
 this relic of the past. No doubt this poke-bonnet, 
 
220 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 which would now awaken the risibilities of any 
 modern belle, was in its day considered to be a 
 marvel of loveliness, and its wearer may have made 
 her appearance at church in the new bonnet with 
 some trepidation of soul, and a feeling that she 
 was making too great a display of finery for the 
 holy place. 
 
 But the bonnet was certainly able to conceal her 
 embarrassment, and must have interposed a formid 
 able obstacle to the ardent glances of admiring 
 swains. 
 
 Besides, it was a great preservative to the com 
 plexion, and veils and parasols could not have been 
 the essentials to a lady's toilette in the olden time 
 which they now are. 
 
 One poke-bonnet is funny enough to contemplate, 
 but imagine a whole congregation of poke-bonnets ! 
 
 How it steals away from the romance of the olden 
 love-tales, when we imagine the belles and beaux 
 who figured in them attired in the quaint costumes 
 of the last century. 
 
 Think of Burns wooing his Highland Mary with 
 her sweet face hidden in a poke-bonnet ! " I'm sitting 
 on the stile, Mary," was well enough for a man to 
 sing, but how could he expect his inamorata to cross 
 that stile to sit beside him, arrayed in all the fasci- 
 
ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 221 
 
 nation of her best bonnet, without incurring the im 
 minent risk of falling and breaking her pretty 
 neck ? 
 
 As well might my mother have expected me in 
 my early days to clamber over fences and up trees, 
 with a sun-bonnet flapping in my eyes, without tear 
 ing my dress, or bringing everlasting woe to my be- 
 ruffled aprons. 
 
 Probably I was not expected to emulate my 
 brother Fred in his various hazardous feats, such as 
 climbing trees, perching upon the topmost peak 
 of the barn-roof, or walking upon the brink of 
 the house-top, with nothing between him and 
 lieaven, except a fair chance of his suddenly quit 
 ting this mundane sphere. 
 
 But I followed as closely in his footsteps as it 
 was possible to do, and wherever I failed of success, 
 or met with some mishap, the blame might all have 
 been laid upon that officious bonnet. 
 
 Another specimen of curious millinery device of 
 much later date than that in which the poke-bonnet 
 reigned supreme, is still hoarded up among my 
 treasures of antiquity. 
 
 This is a brown silk calash, which was the pride 
 of my mother's heart at eighteen. This buggy-top 
 arrangement is over a foot in height ; the silk is 
 
222 SPAKKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 puffed over curved reeds ; the front is finished with 
 a double box-plaiting of ribbon, and a large ribbon 
 bow is placed in the centre of the back. The whole 
 affair resembles the top of an old-fashioned chaise, 
 and it is drawn down over the face with a narrow 
 ribbon attached, just as the carriage-top projects 
 over toward the dashboard. 
 
 Women who wore these bonnets must have ap 
 peared exceedingly tall, since they sometimes added 
 to the height of the calash, by placing a towering bou 
 quet of flowers upon the extreme top of the crown. 
 
 A tall woman in a calash must have been a more 
 fruitful source of terror to the sterner sex than any 
 modern advocate of woman's rights arrayed in all the 
 bewitching paraphernalia of panier, chignon, high- 
 heeled shoes, parasol, gloves, fan, to say nothing of 
 the jaunty little hat of the period, could possibly be. 
 
 But the poke-bonnet, the forbidding calash, and 
 even the huge sun-bonnet which cast its lengthened 
 shadow over my childish days, are happily all num 
 bered among the things that were. 
 
 I can even wear Fred's hat now, or one so like it 
 in form and color that there is but little difference, 
 without exciting the least remark. But, alas ! there 
 is still the bitter drop left in the cup, for in the 
 stately promenade on the avenue, or down Broad- 
 
ALL ABOUT BONNETS. 223 
 
 way, there are no grand old trees full of happy 
 birds, twittering their love-songs in a manner which 
 used to say, " Come up and be one of us ! " to me. 
 And there are no high fences in the city crossing 
 one's path with a defiant air, as if daring one to 
 pass them. 
 
 Besides, I am afraid that I have lost my relish for 
 such things ; that the sombre air of the town has 
 tamed the squirrel-like propensities of earlier years, 
 which were at once the terror of my mother, and 
 the delight of mischievous brother Fred. And as I 
 look into the faces of the little girls of the present 
 day, I can discover no longing for the adventures 
 and exploits which delighted my own childhood. 
 
 Children who spend one part of the year in a 
 crowded city, and the rest at a fashionable watering- 
 place, live only half a child's life. In fact, there are 
 no real children in fashionable society, but miniature 
 men and women. Little girls who walk through 
 the streets with a dignified air, attired as elegantly 
 as their mammas, would be shocked at the mere 
 idea of tearing their clothes ! 
 
 And little boys, who have discarded "jackets" 
 for manly vests and coats ; who wear watches, flour 
 ish canes, smoke cigars, and talk politics, with an im 
 portant air, are above all childish folly. 
 
224 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Who would ever dream of these children clam 
 bering over fences, climbing trees, wading bare 
 footed through the brooks, or making mud pies ? 
 
 We can well bid adieu to the bonnets of the past 
 generation ; they were too much for us ; but it would 
 be well to keep the simple, fun-loving, old-fash 
 ioned children. 
 
A NOVEL DKEAM. 
 
 I HAVE just finished "Warwick." And, alas! 
 wrapped in the fancies which, despite the critics, 
 that fascinating novel has enveloped me, the every 
 day world has become tame and excessively 
 commonplace. Aunt Prim says that I have lost my 
 senses, and Madge declares that I am bewitched. 
 And really, speaking in the Warwickian sense, I 
 have become like those people who, feasting upon 
 the honey of Trebizond, become mad. Only last 
 evening, when seated in my favorite corner on the 
 drawing-room sofa, buried in the mysteries of this 
 mysterious book, following the hero to the depths of 
 the bottomless pit, Aunt Prim approached, and I 
 saluted her with 
 
 "Spectre of the tombs, avaunt ! " 
 
 at which she looked at me, both amazed and horrified. 
 " That must be a curious book you are reading ! " 
 
 she said grimly. And I as grimly replied, 
 10* 
 
226 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 " It is. " 
 
 Soon after, Madge came tripping into the room, 
 singing a favorite aria from the last new opera. 
 That tiresome girl is always singing ! And I ex 
 claimed, " Ilnsh, Daughter of the Prophets, and let 
 my soul have peace ! Though thy face be bright as 
 the morning star, yet art thou like those apples 
 that grow upon the shores of the Dead Sea, 
 which, though beautiful to look upon, within are 
 ashes ! Though thou excellest the women of Yezd 
 in beauty, yet thy soul is frivolity itself ! " 
 
 " Mirabile dictu ! " gasped Madge, transfixed 
 with amazement at this unexpected sally. " What 
 have I to do, I should like to know, with the apples 
 of the Dead Sea? and who are the women of 
 Yezd ? " Here she quite recovered her breath, and 
 began to rattle away with such volubility about the 
 elegant new suits worn by the Misses Butterfly, when 
 they called in the morning, that I rushed from the 
 drawing-room in despair, taking " Warwick " with 
 me. I sought the quiet of my own apartment, and, 
 drawing an easy-chair directly in front of the large 
 mirror, before which the gas burned brilliantly, I 
 seated myself, and gave that young lady, my vis-d- 
 vis in the mirror, a good talking to. 
 
 " What a foolish, silly girl you are, sitting there 
 
A NOVEL DEEAM. 227 
 
 in the mirror ! I feel quite inclined to banish you 
 from the Sparkle family altogether for your stu 
 pidity. Ever since you read that book, you have 
 been looking eagerly in society for some Constant 
 Earle some wondrously gifted youth, who should 
 unite the wisdom of the sages with the beauty of 
 Apollo ! 
 
 " If you walked on Broadway, your eyes have been 
 roving restlessly, in hope of seeing some pale, interest 
 ing youth, with a shabby coat, and a bundle under his 
 arm, which bundle was supposed to contain the 
 fruits of his brain, preserved in violet ink. But you 
 looked in vain ; for the young men who wore 
 shabby coats were shabby themselves ; and, if they 
 carried parcels, they were most undoubtedly dry- 
 goods, boots to be mended, or cigar-boxes. No 
 grand poems, or wonderful romances in those par 
 cels, carried by the shabby young men on Broad 
 way. 
 
 " And you have attended matinees, concerts, the 
 opera, and every place where youth, beauty, and 
 talent are wont to meet; and you have eagerly 
 scanned every face in search of your ideal hero. 
 But all in vain ! You have visited art-galleries, and 
 amid the throng of living and of pictured faces 
 which surrounded you, you have gazed lovingly and 
 
228 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 eagerly for that one face which haunts your dreams. 
 And still you found it not. Now, Sparkle, sitting 
 over there in the mirror, give folly to the winds ! 
 There never was, there never will be such an immac 
 ulate piece of humanity as Constant Earle. And if 
 you should find him he would be married ! And 
 then what right would you have to adore him \ 
 
 " Madge says Mr. Cecil is like him but Madge is 
 strongly prejudiced in favor of Mr. Cecil and not 
 until that gentleman descends into some bottomless 
 pit, as did the hero of this novel, and discovers a 
 fortune, will I acknowledge the likeness. Even then 
 it would be very remote. You must take men as 
 they are, my dear. Not as they are pictured in 
 novels. And a tiresome, stupid, bothersome, intrac 
 table set of mortals they are, I can assure you ! 
 And now, Sparkle, I hope this will put an end to 
 your nonsense ! " 
 
 Having finished my lecture to that young lady in 
 the mirror, I leaned back in my chair, and, after 
 reading the last chapter of " Warwick, " I fell asleep. 
 And such a dream as followed ! The author of 
 that book is responsible for it ! I dreamed that I 
 sat in an eastern grove, beneath the shade of the 
 beautiful Amrita, or Immortal tree ; that the songs 
 of myriads of nightingales flooded the air with 
 
A NOVEL DREAM. 229 
 
 music ; and the white blossoms of the Sandal Malam 
 made delieionsly fragrant the breath of night. And, 
 mingled with the sweet odor of these flowers, was 
 that of the blossoms of the Nagacesara tree, whose 
 fragrance is so intoxicating that Camadeva, the God 
 of Love, fills his quiver with these flowers. And 
 there came, stealing through the fragrant grove, the 
 lute-like murmuring of Chindara's fount. Just 
 above my head hovered that wonderful bird, the 
 Huma, whose song foretells royalty to the mortal 
 above whose head it folds his wings. And hover 
 ing in the tree above me, this marvellous bird 
 poured forth a witching strain of melody, And 
 immediately I, a wanderer from the far-off Isle of 
 Manhattan, became a Princess of Hindostan, and 
 fell passionately in love with the God Crishna 
 whom all Indian women adore! And Crishna 
 himself stood in all the glory of his beauty before 
 me. The evening air was already laden with music, 
 but when he spoke his voice was far sweeter than 
 the voices of those who had eaten the leaves of that 
 enchanted tree which grows over the tomb of the 
 great musician, Tan Sein. And then the <rod 
 
 O ' o 
 
 Crishna seated himself beside me, upon a silken 
 couch, filled with rose-leaves gathered from the 
 rare roses which bloom in the Garden of the Nile 
 
230 SPAKKLES FEOM SARATOGA. 
 
 the most beautiful in the world. Gracefully my 
 Indian Apollo swept his fingers over a silver- 
 tongued lute which a slave had brought him and 
 
 o O 
 
 then he sang, and his singing was like the sound of 
 those bells which hang from celestial trees, and 
 which, swaying to and fro in the wind that floats 
 from the Great White Throne, waken melody for 
 the ears of the blessed ! And thus he sang 
 
 " Nburjehan ! Light of the World ! Thou art 
 lovelier than the nightingale's song, and sweeter 
 than the blossoms in Camadeva's quiver ! Thy 
 tresses are bright as the golden-hued flowers which 
 float upon Hemasagara's waters upon the Sea of 
 Gold and thine eyes are as blue as the water-lilies 
 in the vale of Cashmere ! " 
 
 As I listened, enraptured, to every note, and gazed 
 admiringly upon his handsome face whose face 
 should it be, but Fitz Hugh's! Soon after I 
 made this wonderful discovery the grove around us 
 became filled with strange, fantastic beings, and then 
 a troop of demons, led by the dread Silitim, and 
 followed by the terrible Ghoolee Beeabau, appeared, 
 and disturbed our charming tete-d-tete. A form and 
 face, ugly as the face and form of Ilakem-ben- 
 Haschem, drew near me, and I started up in affright. 
 Near by stood my faithful Arabian horse, one of that 
 
A NOVEL DKEAM. 231 
 
 famous Koclilani breed, whose written genealogy 
 has been kept for two thousand years, and who are 
 said to have descended from King Solomon's steeds. 
 I quickly mounted this beautiful horse, and strove 
 to escape. But suddenly the terrible sound of the 
 Kerna, the war trumpet of the Arabs, pierced my 
 ear, and, screaming with affright I awoke. And 
 there I sat in the easy-chair with " "Warwick " upon 
 my lap, and that saucy girl in the mirror laughing 
 at me! 
 
XXXII. 
 
 SUNDAY AT THE SPRINGS. 
 
 THE Sabbath bells ring out as sweetly here to 
 summon the wayward and erring to leave for a little 
 hour their pleasure and frivolity, as in quieter places, 
 where the hush of the sacred day lies not only upon 
 the people, but also upon the town. Although the 
 throng at the hotels never seems to diminish, yet the 
 churches are all well filled. This morning the Rev. 
 
 O 
 
 Dr. Highflyer from Gotham was announced to 
 preach, and crowds of people went to hear him. 
 
 You remember that his church is one of those 
 magnificent edifices far up on Fifth Avenue. 
 
 The sermon of this morning was pronounced to 
 be a delightful one. It was none of those dreadful 
 alarums which the sentries of the pulpit sometimes 
 sound forth ; but it was rather a discourse upon the 
 ancient Romans the wicked Jews the Pharaohs 
 and the Herods of the olden time, and, as nothing 
 was mentioned of the Pharaohs and Herods of our 
 time, the entire congregation listened complacently, 
 and old Father Mildew, who occupied a front seat, 
 
SUNDAY AT THE SPRINGS. 233 
 
 nodded his head approvingly at various points of 
 the discourse. 
 
 The reverend doctor's style is one of the most ethe 
 real imaginable. If he enters the dim land of the 
 past in quest of characters to elucidate his theme, he 
 presents us with shadowy, pale-faced spectres instead 
 of real -flesh and blood realities and as for grap 
 pling with the giants of evil which stalk in our very 
 midst at the present day, he would never think of 
 that ! 
 
 If he does condescend sometimes to bring his 
 illustrations to bear upon practical, everyday life, 
 they are still so cloud-like, so intangible, that the 
 modern sinner may pass through the ordeal quite 
 unscathed. 
 
 The doctor himself is also quite ethereal, in fact, 
 spirituelj to look upon. His face is pale, probably 
 from long studying ; his eyes are large and dark, 
 and luminous with the fire of the spirit which burns 
 within ; his hands are white and delicate as a 
 woman's. If he has not been taught by nature to 
 use those hands to the best advantage, then, I should 
 surely say, that Dame Vanity has given him ample 
 instruction on that point. The Widow Dash has 
 not a single art of coquetry more perfectly at her 
 command, than has the Rev. Dr. Highflyer the art 
 
234 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 of displaying those small white hands to perfection. 
 He wears the black silk gown with a regal air, and 
 as for the rest of his attire, it is simply immaculate. 
 
 AYhen he turns his dark eyes upward, then sud 
 denly flashes them, filled with tears, upon the au 
 dience, while the tones of his rich voice ring forth, 
 the sympathetic effect is instantaneous, and many 
 bright eyes are seen to glisten. JBnt those tears are 
 not shed over the miseries and the follies of the 
 present no, no ! they fall upon the grave of the 
 irrevocable past. When the fate of Ananias and 
 Sapphira is told, old Father Mildew listens, but 
 trembles not ! The sin of covetousness and deceit 
 is pictured as belonging so peculiarly to those ill- 
 fated creatures, and they lived so very long ago, 
 that Father Mildew never thinks of taking the les 
 son home ! 
 
 When the words, " Thou shalt not steal," sound 
 from Holy Writ, Mr. Bullion, who deals in gold 
 and in stocks, and who is, perhaps, the wealthiest 
 member of the reverend doctor's church, listens, as 
 a matter of course ; but he never dreams that those 
 words apply to him ! What if he chances to learn 
 that a certain stock is to be " cornered," and, taking 
 advantage of his neighbor's ignorance of that fact, 
 buys all of that stock which his neighbor holds? 
 
SUNDAY AT THE SPRINGS. 235 
 
 Or, what if he himself helps to " corner " that stock, 
 knowing that thousands must lose, although a few 
 will be rich gainers ? His conscience never twits 
 him of robbing his neighbor. 
 
 " Thou shalt not lie " does not trouble Mrs. 
 Proudie's conscience at all, notwithstanding that 
 she never hesitates to say " not at home " to a dis 
 agreeable visitor, or to overwhelm with flattery some 
 one whom she inwardly detests ! " Thou shalt not 
 covet " doesn't keep Mrs. MacFlimsey from gazing 
 longingly at her neighbor's new India shawl, during 
 all the service ; nor her daughter Flora from having 
 a strong desire to annihilate my eyes on account of 
 Fitz Hugh! In the pew directly in front of us, 
 sat Deacon Sombre and his family. When the sil 
 ver plate goes round, the deacon always gives lib 
 erally. And the deacon's wife also has a reputation 
 for generosity of character. She has been so very 
 kind, especially to the minister. She it was who 
 presented him with the elegant neglige and the 
 embroidered slippers, which he wears of a morning 
 in his study ; she it was who presented those beau 
 tiful pieces of velvet, embroidered with gold, which 
 hang from the Bible and prayer-book. And that 
 superb altar-cloth was also her gift. Ah ! who, in 
 all that great congregation, is so very, very liberal 
 
236 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 as Mrs. Deacon Sombre ? And yet there lives a 
 poor relative in the deacon's family, who occupies 
 a dreary little room in the top of their elegant 
 mansion, and who slaves there, alone and in sadness, 
 from morning till night, preparing the finery of the 
 deacon's fashionable daughters ! If u charity be 
 gins at home," there are, alas ! too many exceptions 
 to the rule ! Just opposite Deacon Sombre's pew, 
 in Dr. Highflyer's own church in Gotham, is that 
 of Papa Goldbug. They are new-comers to this 
 fashionable church. As they have risen in the scale 
 of fashion, they have also risen from the plain little 
 sanctuary in the lower part of the city, which they 
 frequented in former years. They find themselves 
 here in an altogether new atmosphere. Papa Gold- 
 bug hardly feels himself at home as yet. He gazes 
 admiringly around the spacious edifice, while his 
 fussy, pretentious little wife is busily engaged in 
 scanning the latest novelties in cloaks or bonnets 
 from Paris, and the endless variety of costumes dis 
 played by the belles of Upper-tendom. The little 
 Goldbug, their daughter, criticises the dresses, the 
 minister, the music, and is almost as much inter 
 ested as though she were listening to a new play or 
 an opera. The music, of course, is of the highest 
 order, since the quartet is formed by singers from 
 
SUNDAY AT THE SPKINGS. 237 
 
 the Italian Opera. Services sometimes commence 
 with a prelude upon the grand organ, arranged 
 from " Faust," and end with the shadow aria from 
 " Dinorah " ! 
 
 Madge says that if " it is easier for a camel to go 
 through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to 
 enter heaven," she would like to know how the 
 Rev. Dr. Highflyer, with his congregation, is ever 
 to reach that place. But Madge is such a queer 
 girl! 
 
XXXIII. 
 
 A DUEL. 
 
 THERE are some things which we had really sup 
 posed to have become obsolete customs and cos 
 tumes which are only worthy of being brought up 
 to be wondered at, and shrink back into their for 
 gotten corners with a thank Heaven ! that they have 
 departed in peace. 
 
 We refer just now to the duel for who ever hears 
 of a duel nowadays ? 
 
 We had thought that duels belonged to those 
 " good old times " to which elderly people are so 
 fond of referring those days when men and women 
 were wrapped up in saintly perfection, and knew 
 nothing of the vices of this " degenerate age." 
 
 We had fondly cherished the idea that the duel 
 went out with the sword which once belonged to the 
 dress suit of a gentleman in the olden time with 
 the velvet knee-breeches, the gold buckles, and 
 powdered perukes. 
 
 Eeally, we are surprised that any young person 
 
A DUEL. 239 
 
 of modern ideas can be so extremely old-fashioned 
 as to thirst for a duel. 
 
 But there is no accounting for the whimsical 
 caprices of men to say nothing of women and 
 therefore Saratoga is blessed with a new sensation 
 entirely new, and quite absurd enough to make the 
 fashionable world hold its breath for a moment and 
 lift up its hands in holy horror. 
 
 The rumor has flown from mouth to mouth has 
 even crept into the newspapers, to fill up and enliven 
 the reporter's column that a duel between two dis 
 tinguished young gentlemen here is on the tapis. 
 
 A fiery young Colonel from the impetuous South 
 is reported to have challenged to mortal combat a 
 quiet, " inoffensive citizen " of the North. 
 
 Now, this challenge from the hot-headed South 
 erner might possibly be a source of extreme surprise 
 to the young man of the North, since we know very 
 little or nothing of duels here. 
 
 A genuine " free fight," gotten up on the spur of 
 the moment, might be understood ; but, since the 
 day that Aaron Burr shot Alexander Hamilton in 
 cold blood, the duel has not been excessively popu 
 lar with us in fact, it has utterly lost prestige. 
 
 We may be lacking the proper spirit for under 
 standing the best modus operandi of settling a quar- 
 
24:0 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 rel and resenting an affront ; but, after all, we 
 cannot help thinking that it is a most comfortable 
 state of affairs when a man has courage enough to 
 pass by an insult or to rise above an injury, without 
 the aid of a sword or of a revolver. 
 
 We really cannot . see, despite the sneers at our 
 cowardice by the ardent Southerner, that the duel 
 is absolutely essential to our happiness, or to our 
 credit. 
 
 The late tournament, which was intended to re 
 vive the ancient spirit of chivalry in the manly 
 hearts of those who have of late been given more to 
 the displaying of diamond studs and marvellous 
 pins than anything else, has given rise to the ru 
 mored duel. 
 
 The tournament was intended to be a friendly 
 competition in horsemanship between the young 
 men of the North and of the South, and was pro 
 jected by, and carried out under the supervision 
 of a young Southerner who is a Colonel in the 
 army. 
 
 After the tournament there came to the gallant 
 Colonel's ears a contemptuous remark made by a 
 wealthy young gentleman, who floats upon the cream 
 of fashionable society, to the effect that the brave 
 " Knights " from the South were only " country 
 
A DUEL. 241 
 
 bumpkins " instead of belonging to the F. F. Y.'s, 
 and that the tournament was nothing but a " two 
 penny show." 
 
 Now, such a statement as this was terrible indeed, 
 and angered the high-spirited Colonel to the last 
 degree. 
 
 Of course there is no better way to resent such an 
 affront than to make a target of one's self for an 
 other person's bullet, or to make a target of that im 
 pertinent individual. 
 
 Please to observe now, that the very latest fashion 
 in targets, is a couple of high-toned, chivalric young 
 gentlemen, who wish to die that their wounded 
 honor may be avenged. 
 
 In settling the dispute in question, it might perhaps 
 have been easy enough to refute the slander as to 
 the respectability of the aforesaid " Knights," as 
 many of them are well known to belong to good 
 families ; and, as for the " two-penny show," the 
 tickets were something like five dollars for the 
 tournament and ball, and moreover the young man 
 who affected to despise the " show " drove out with 
 his four-in-hand to witness it. 
 
 But no, there was no other way to blot out this 
 horrible stain upon the Colonel's reputation than by 
 
 mortal combat ; no way of overcoming little diflicul- 
 11 
 
242 SPAEKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 ties which might arise between these prond young 
 bloods than by dropping them with a bullet. 
 
 The strangest part of it all is that the Colonel's 
 father thinks the Colonel should fight it out; the 
 Colonel's sister refuses to read any more novels, to 
 perpetrate any more flirtations, in fact, to console 
 herself in any way, until the Colonel sustains the 
 reputation of his family by properly resenting this 
 insult iii a duel ; and lastly, the Colonel's mother 
 hopes that her son has enough of good Southern 
 blood in him to teach these snobbish Northerners 
 how to behave. 
 
 And so we have, by the force of circumstances, 
 been driven seriously to think of the duel, not 
 only as a fine art, but as a useful and respectable 
 calling. 
 
 Of course our deliberations have ended with the 
 conclusion that no one should be allowed to insult 
 us with impunity ! Honor is more than life ; and it 
 is not material whether a life is lost or not, in settling 
 a petty war of words. So that one's honor is fully 
 vindicated, one may go to sleep with a bullet through 
 the heart with a vast deal of satisfaction. We are 
 all of such individual importance that to resent a 
 real or fancied affront, we can easily afford to give 
 up our lives and call quits with the world. 
 
A DUEL. 243 
 
 And then there is so little for some people to do 
 in this life ; so little life work to be performed, that 
 they can just as well as not step out at a moment's 
 notice without ever being missed. 
 
 And w r e know of no quicker method of exit, none 
 more especially adapted to such individuals, than 
 the duel. 
 
 And it is pleasant to reflect upon the charming 
 state of mind which must follow the survivor of a 
 fatal duel ; the pleasing recollections of that spirited 
 occasion which will help to console his lonely hours. 
 To carry the stain of a brother's blood upon one's 
 soul through life must be such a comfortable sensa 
 tion! 
 
 But the duel of which we speak has not yet taken 
 place. 
 
 If the event is really contemplated, it might be 
 just as well for the disputing parties to select Glen 
 Mitchell, or some other quiet, romantic spot, and 
 admit the public to this " two-penny show " at so 
 much a head, the proceeds to be devoted to paying 
 the passage of the survivor to some country where 
 duelling is more popular than here, and where he 
 may wipe out every stain from his escutcheon with 
 the point of his sword. 
 
 But this subject frightens me ! 
 
 
244 SPAKKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 I lay down my pencil to consider what will be 
 the consequences of being sarcastic upon the Colonel 
 and his friend (?) and whether I myself am not in 
 curring the imminent danger of a challenge. 
 
 Can it be possible that I shall be obliged to settle 
 my feathers and flounces and prepare for a duel ? 
 Or, will it not be better to look out for some modern 
 Bayard sans peur et sans reproche, who will take up 
 his trusty sword in my defence ? 
 
 Beats there a heart so brave beneath the immacu 
 late plaits and diamond studs of the knights of 
 Saratoga ? 
 
 I set forth in my Quixotic search. 
 
XXXIV. 
 
 AMONG THE LILIES. 
 
 often spend whole days in the vicinity of 
 Saratoga Lake, glad for a little while to escape the 
 hum of fashionable life. And what place could be 
 found more charming than the banks of this beauti 
 ful lake in the fervid month of August ? 
 
 Sitting upon the shore and watching the play of 
 the sunbeams with the blue waves, dreaming 
 delightful day-dreams, with roguish, mischief -loving 
 Madge upon one side, and Fitz Hugh upon the 
 other, what more could a thankless mortal desire ? 
 What matter if the dizzy whirl of hops and balls 
 does not reach us here ; if no bevies of butterfly- 
 belles distract us with their chattering, and 110 invinc 
 ible array of beaux challenges our admiration, and 
 disconcert us with their eye-glases ; and we are not 
 compelled to make elaborate toilettes, and to lavish 
 our deepest thoughts upon ribbons and ruffles? 
 What matter if we are denied, or have escaped all 
 this ? We are truly enjoying a blessed quiet in the 
 most unsophisticated manner in the world. 
 
246 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Under the trees, amid the sweet haunts of nature, 
 where the birds sing ; where every breath of the 
 summer breeze comes to us laden with the perfume 
 of a thousand flowers ; where the wind floats music 
 ally among the leaves the leaves which are 
 Nature's ^Eoliaii harps ever breathing forth 
 melody ; where the waters ripple in the sunlight, 
 and sing of the far-off sea as they break in little 
 waves upon the shore ; where one may listen all day 
 long and never hear a discordant sound ah! to one 
 who is weary of the noise and jar of the city, 
 
 " If there be an Elysium on earth 
 It is this, it is this ! " 
 
 The cool mountain breezes which ripple the 
 smooth surface of the lake seem to instil a new 
 vigor into sluggish veins, and to promise a new 
 lease of life to those who have grown weary and 
 faint by the wayside. 
 
 The principal amusement for boating parties 
 upon the lake is fishing. The water is exceedingly 
 clear and the fish the most accommodating little 
 creatures that ever wore fins ; they really appear 
 fond of being caught on a hook. 
 
 Oh ! if I were some little fish 
 And lived in a clear little brook, 
 
 I vow by my eye, when you went by, 
 I'd fasten myself on your hook ! 
 
AMONG THE LILIES. 247 
 
 That's what Madge sings when she goes a-fishing, 
 and Madge is an adept in throwing out alluring 
 bait both under the water and above it ! 
 
 Foolish fishes, or susceptible youths it does not 
 matter which Madge always has " a catch " on the 
 end of her line. 
 
 The shining meshes of her purplish black hair are 
 more dangerous than any net that was ever thrown 
 into the sea, and the soft glances of her brown eyes 
 strike deeper than any hook or spear. 
 
 Madge makes a charming picture when boating 
 among the water-lilies upon the Lake. She looks 
 the mortal embodiment of the fragrant flowers 
 themselves as she floats among them. They nestle 
 in her luxuriant hair ; they rest lovingly upon her 
 bosom, and, lying in her lap in profusion, they 
 caress her white fingers as if with mute joy, as she 
 groups them artistically arid tenderly together. 
 
 And while they thus surround her with a halo of 
 perfume, Madge declares that they are whispering 
 their passion for her, and if they droop or die, she 
 says that they die of sweet love. 
 
 Fitz Hugh is not fond of fishing, and says that he 
 cannot see why the cruel philosopher who spent the 
 best part of his time in murdering the innocents of 
 
248 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the deep, should be spoken of as the "good old 
 Isaac Walton ! " 
 
 I quite agree with Fitz Hugh, in this point at 
 least, and feel quite proud of his compassionate 
 nature. But Aunt Prim sniffs her nose scornfully 
 in the air at all such nonsense, says that fishes don't 
 feel, twitches them mercilessly off from the barbar 
 ous hook, and when they writhe and flop about, she 
 avers it is nothing but nervousness and timidity at 
 being in a strange place ! 
 
 Will any disciple of the humane Mr. Bergh ever 
 espouse the cause of the poor, abused Wishes ? 
 
 A young medical student, who formed one of our 
 fishing party yesterday, quite agreed with Aunt 
 Prim's notions in regard to the finny tribe, and pro 
 nounced the lively motions of the fish upon the 
 hook to be nothing but "spasmodic action of the 
 nerves ! " He said they were cold-blooded creat 
 ures, and therefore not capable of much suffering, 
 and added a good deal more scientific twaddle of 
 the same kind. 
 
 That man is as cold-Hooded as any fish that ever 
 swam! 
 
 Madge and I knew very well what this disciple of 
 Esculapius was aiming at in thus trying to ingra- 
 
AMONG THE LILIES. 249 
 
 tiate himself with Aunt Prim, and snubbing Fitz 
 Hugh's opinions. 
 
 What his chances of success were might be 
 augured from the odd faces Madge perpetrated be 
 hind his back, as she dissected his heart with a 
 fish-hook, by proxy, upon the green leaf of a lily ! 
 
 If the Lake is charming by daylight, what shall 
 be said of it when haloed by the wondrous beauty 
 of a summer's night ? 
 
 There are but two ogres here which disturb our 
 peace, and these are the night air and the evening 
 dew. 
 
 Not that Madge and I ever trouble our heads with 
 such trifling matters, but Aunt Prim is in a con 
 tinual worry about the state of her health, and as 
 soon as the sun goes down she infects us all with an 
 uncomfortable chilliness. 
 
 No wonder that we try to escape sometimes, as 
 we did last evening when we had a starlight row 
 upon the lake. 
 
 It was an amusing picture to see Aunt Prim as 
 she waved us an adieu from the shore, wrapped in 
 innumerable shawls, and shivering beneath the mild 
 influence of a few drops of dew. 
 
 You would have thought from her oft-expressed 
 
 fears that we were about to depart with Captain 
 11* 
 
250 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Hall in search of the North Pole, instead of sailing 
 away over a beautiful lake, upon whose glassy sur 
 face there was scarcely a ripple. 
 
 Aunt Prim retired to seek the shelter of the hotel 
 parlor, and to deplore the waywardness of young 
 people who refused to look upon things through her 
 spectacles, and would go romancing over the lake, 
 despite the terrible " night air " and the dew ! 
 
 But, leaving Aunt Prim and gloomy care upon 
 the shore, we yielded ourselves to all the witchery 
 of the beautiful night. 
 
 Madge was in the merriest mood, and kept our 
 faces rippling over with smiles at her lively sallies. 
 
 The medical student, who sat beside her, was 
 deeply inclined to the sentimental, looked mourn 
 fully up to the stars, drew deep sighs, and stole 
 long, lingering glances at Cousin Madge, who was 
 oblivious to nothing except his devotion. 
 
 Fitz Hugh was just as he always is, and always 
 should be; that is, sufficiently engrossed with the 
 sublime consciousness of his own perfections to 
 prevent him from ever losing his own identity in 
 that of another, or from becoming so sweetly obliv 
 ious of himself as did the medical student, who nearly 
 capsized the boat and bespattered himself plen 
 tifully while admiring Madge's shadow in the lake ! 
 

 AMONG THE LILIES. 251 
 
 There was a dash of cold water upon youthful 
 ardor ! 
 
 This little incident, of course, added immensely 
 to the mirth of the party the student, perhaps, 
 excepted. 
 
 As we glided over the water every star in the 
 heavens glittered brightly above us. Directly in the 
 zenith Lyra blazed and burned with a sweet, mys 
 tical meaning. 
 
 The radiant Cross flashed its rich jewels of stars 
 from out the myriads of worlds which form the 
 milky way, and the bright Northern Crown, Corona 
 Borealis, the loveliest constellation in all the 
 heavens, looked down upon us. 
 
 Who has not listened to hear the music of the 
 spheres ? Who that has lingered lost in the contem 
 plation of the starry heavens, has not fancied that 
 he saw the swift flight of the immortals from world 
 to world, and heard strains of unearthly music, of 
 divine, mysterious melody ? 
 
 But our party upon the lake was too full of 
 mirth to dwell upon these things, and they sang 
 among themselves merry little ditties which floated 
 softly over the water, and barcarolles to woo the 
 water-nymphs to rise and listen. 
 
 But the water-nymphs were evidently slumbering 
 
252 SPAKKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 down beneath the waves, with the lilies, and re 
 fused to appear. And thus floated by us another 
 day, breaking upon the dim shores of the past with 
 a musical murmur, like that of the waves which 
 plashed and glittered in the moonlight as we 
 touched again the shore. 
 
XXXV. 
 
 THE FLUSH OF THE LEAF. 
 
 THE gay season of Saratoga is almost over. 
 Adieux lightly spoken, good-byes softly whispered, 
 and kisses of farewell are as plentiful as autumn 
 leaves. 
 
 Tear-drops, and heartaches, sometimes mingle 
 with them, and there is a little dash of sadness 
 thrown over the sweetness of life, just as the passing 
 cloud sprinkles rain-drops on the roses. 
 
 Every dream must have its awakening, and the 
 long, beautiful summer dream is over. The sun 
 has lost its fervid heat, for its beams are veiled in 
 the floating mists of autumn. 
 
 The flowers have nearly all gone ; the flitting 
 summer has beckoned them away, and those few 
 blossoms which still linger to catch the warm, rich 
 hues of autumn will follow soon. 
 
 The birds are singing their farewell songs to the 
 whispering green leaves, which grow pale and yel 
 low as they listen or blush into crimson before the 
 f ervidness of song. 
 
254 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Even the winds have a plaintive sound like the 
 voice of one who has just bidden farewell to the 
 best-beloved for the winds have passed the beauti 
 ful summer as she journeys southward. 
 
 The fashionable world, which has made the life 
 of Saratoga for so many delightful weeks, fickle as 
 ever, deserts the scenes which it professed to hold 
 so dear, and is flitting homeward. 
 
 Every morning we miss some familiar face, some 
 sparkling eye and merry voice, from the piazza ; 
 and every evening the parlors and ballrooms 
 are less crowded. There remains now only a 
 memory where some beautiful reality has lived 
 and breathed. 
 
 The dark-eyed belles of the sunny South, the 
 piquant, bewitching maidens from the land which 
 glows beneath the setting sun, the staid daughters 
 from New England homes, and the stylish, fashion 
 able beauties of Gotham, who have gathered here 
 like so many butterflies in quest of roses, who have 
 each striven to eclipse all others by their wondrous 
 toilets and their bewildering charms all these have 
 furled their defiant little flags, packed their trunks 
 reluctantly, whispered sad farewells to their de 
 spondent admirers, and departed to prepare for 
 the winter's campaign. 
 
THE FLUSH OF THE LEAF. 255 
 
 The beautiful dresses which have rustled luxuri 
 ously through the parlors and on the piazza are now 
 ignominiously entombed in crowded trunks ; and 
 the jewels which flashed their liquid light beneath 
 the brilliant chandeliers, enhancing the beauty of 
 their wearers and dazzling the eyes of beholders, 
 are consigned to blazing unseen within their dark 
 caskets, to emerge gloriously when some fitting oc 
 casion shall offer, but no more to illumine the 
 haunts of Saratoga. The powder-boxes, rouge-pots, 
 extra puffs, curls and frizzes which are scarcely 
 available while travelling are carefully stored 
 away in the darkest corners, enveloped in many 
 wrappings and shrouded in dreadful mystery. 
 
 Did you ever meet and converse with a lady 
 whom, at first glance, you supposed to be young 
 and, perhaps, beautiful ; but who, as you scanned 
 her closely, seemed to grow suddenly older, five 
 years older every minute that you talked with her, 
 until, if you were able to continue your conversation 
 with a growing horror for one half hour, you felt 
 that you stood before a woman old enough to be 
 Methuselah's grandmother? Did you notice that 
 her strange accent while talking was caused by the 
 " plumpers " which she wore in her mouth to fill 
 out her sunken cheeks ? 
 
256 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Did you mark that her eyebrows were false ? 
 that she could not call one hair of her elaborate 
 chignon her own ? that her face was enamelled and 
 painted to the last degree ? that her wrinkled neck 
 and meagre shoulders were concealed beneath a 
 false throat and bust of sunny whiteness and fault 
 less proportions, and that the place where this art 
 ful contrivance was fastened was skilfully hidden 
 by a diamond necklace? Did you observe that her 
 elegant dress, which fitted superbly, displaying ap 
 parently " a form Praxiteles might worship," was so 
 fashioned by the cunning hand of the French 
 modiste as to present the sylph-like figure of sixteen 
 rather than that of an octogenarian ? 
 
 If you have seen and noticed all this, you will 
 have some true conception of the dreadful secrets 
 which some of those Saratoga trunks convey from 
 place to place. Their worn and ghastly owner fol 
 lows them anxiously, like a spectre in search of its 
 substance ; and I tremble to think of the frightful 
 consequences which would ensue should that baggage 
 be lost ! A curious incident of this kind actually 
 occurred a week or two since in Saratoga. 
 
 A lady, whose age is known to few, and is to be 
 queried at, or hinted at, by none chose to leave 
 the hotel where she was stopping, for the one across 
 
THE FLUSH OF THE LEAF. 257 
 
 the street. Early in the morning, before the fash 
 ionable world of Saratoga was astir, closely veiled 
 and wrapped in a shawl, she quietly entered the 
 new hotel and took possession of her rooms. 
 
 Her trunks were to follow immediately. But by 
 some strange mischance some unlucky blunder of 
 the porters the trunks were not sent to her rooms, 
 bnt were carried to the remote end of the village to 
 a private boarding-house. 
 
 One solitary, immense vehicle of dry-goods was 
 placed in her apartment, but alas ! it did not belong 
 to her. She looked at its iron bands and firm lock 
 in dismay. 
 
 It was the depository of some other feminine 
 capital in society (a lady's wardrobe is her capital) 
 and not her own. 
 
 What was she to do*? In any emergency it 
 would be impossible for her to loosen the fastenings 
 of that strange trunk and knowing well what her 
 own trunks contained, she contemplated this un 
 known visitant with a sort of nervous horror as one 
 trembles before a hidden mystery. 
 
 In a sepulchral tone of voice she ordered the 
 porter to remove that trunk, and to bring her own. 
 The trunk vanished, but the day wore on, and the 
 lady's trunks failed to make their appearance. 
 
258 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 The dinner-hour drew near ; it was impossible 
 for the lady to leave her room until the requisite 
 articles of her wardrobe arrived. There was 
 frantic ringing of the bell of No. ; there was 
 hurrying to and fro of sable waiters; there was 
 angry consultation with stupid porters ; but, alas ! 
 all was of no avail. 
 
 The lady paced the floor of the room in a state 
 of desperation ; she looked out from her window, 
 and then she beheld -a si^ht which froze the little 
 
 O 
 
 life-blood which was flowing slowly through her 
 veins. There was the Widow Dash, elegantly 
 attired, sitting comfortably on the piazza, laughing 
 and chatting with this lady's last adorer. 
 
 At least she had fancied him to be an adorer, and 
 this very day she had intended to complete her con 
 quest. But who would be able to lure him from 
 the toils of the "Widow Dash if she once wove her 
 fascinations around him ? Who, indeed ? This 
 was the climax to her troubles ! The band was 
 playing its most melodious strains, but music had 
 no charms for her. There sat that odious Widow 
 Dash, beautiful as a full-blown rose, with her own 
 Captain Fickle gazing admiringly upon her. She 
 turned away from the window in a state bordering 
 upon despair. She threw herself upon her bed, re- 
 
THE FLUSH OF THE LEAF. 259 
 
 solved to sleep away the hours which should inter 
 vene before the arrival of those trunks. 
 
 " If thou would'st ease thine heart 
 Of love and all its smart, 
 
 Then sleep, dear, sleep ! 
 
 "If thou would'st cure thine heart 
 Of love and all its smart, 
 
 Then die, dear, die ! " 
 
 But this widow there, the secret is out ! this 
 widow resolved not to die, but to live, and to revenge 
 herself gloriously upon that artful Widow Dash, 
 when those trunks should arrive. 
 
 Time passed on, and the widow slept, dreaming, 
 however, troubled dreams. 
 
 The band ceased playing ; the people strolled to 
 the various springs to drink the waters with the 
 charm of eventide upon them ; the sun went down 
 behind the hills ; the stars came ' out and glittered 
 in the sky ; the gas-lamps, which seemed to glow 
 with a brighter lustre than that of the stars, were 
 all ablaze and when the persecuted widow finally 
 awoke from her troubled dream, to commence a 
 new series of bell-ringings, and to gaze dolefully from 
 her window, she was just in time to see the ball 
 room brilliantly illuminated, the fairy bridge which 
 joined it to the hotel gayly lighted with fantastic 
 
260 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 Chinese lanterns, and over tins bridge the Widow 
 Dash went into the hop, leaning upon the arm of 
 Captain Fickle ! 
 
 And she saw them ! 
 
 I will not attempt to describe the long, dreary 
 hours of that night, passed dismally alone in the 
 room of a hotel, while the gay crowds without were 
 enjoying themselves in various ways. It would be 
 too harrowing to my own feelings and to those of 
 my readers ; but let it suffice to say, that morning 
 at last dawned upon this terrible night, those trunks 
 arrived, and about 11 o'clock in the morning there 
 emerged from the room no wrinkled old woman, 
 but a comely, elegantly dressed lady, somewhere be 
 tween the age of twenty and forty not older 
 whose face was wreathed with smiles, whose man 
 ner was as placid and as sunny as a June morning, 
 and who was secretly determined to annihilate the 
 Widow Dash ! 
 
XXXVI. 
 
 DEPARTURES. 
 
 WHAT a mercy it would be if the people who 
 leave Saratoga early in the morning would only 
 
 " Fold their tents like the Arabs, 
 And as quietly steal away ! " 
 
 But no such a bustle and confusion as there is in 
 the adjoining rooms and in the hall every morning, 
 at the untimely hour of six, just when one is lost in 
 delightful morning dreams the dreams which poets 
 call prophetic. How vexatious to be rudely sum 
 moned from the shadowy land of dreams, to the 
 disagreeable realities of great lumbering trunks, of 
 crying children, of loud-voiced papas, and fretful, 
 anxious mammas, until really one would imagine 
 that the Millerites' judgment had come, and that 
 the whole earth was on fire ! 
 
 And all this because these people are leaving 
 on the next train ! 
 
 If they only could possibly remember that other 
 folks in the same house were not going away, and 
 
262 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 were endeavoring to enjoy a comfortable nap after 
 the late hours of the ball the night before, how pleas 
 ant it would be. 
 
 Departures, not arrivals, are now the prominent 
 features of Saratoga 
 
 " Friend after friend departs " 
 
 and we, too, shall soon be winging our flight home 
 ward. 
 
 The fates have decided, and we must go. Fitz 
 Hugh resigns himself beautifully, and strokes his 
 blonde moustache complacently, as he talks of re 
 turning to business. 
 
 Now, that amuses me the idea of Fitz Hugh, and 
 business ! 
 
 What does he do with his lavender kids and his 
 elegant cane, when he attends to business ? 
 
 Who takes care of that " love of a moustache," 
 curls it, etc. ? Who is to part those bewitching locks 
 exactly in the middle, when Fitz Hugh is engrossed 
 in the cares of business ? 
 
 And where is he to find two hours every morning 
 to spend in selecting a becoming cravat and arrang 
 ing it in that inimitable tie, if he attends to bus 
 iness \- 
 
 Ah ; Fitz Hugh ! Fitz Hugh ! who could conceive 
 
DEPARTURES. 263 
 
 the idea of transforming such an elegant youth into 
 a hum-drum man of businesss ? 
 
 We might have started to-day, but Aunt Prim 
 declares she must have time to calm her nerves 
 after the last new railroad horror before she will 
 venture to set out. 
 
 Notwithstanding the vast improvements of the 
 age, travelling seems to become more hazardous every 
 year. And one is led to believe that the old- 
 fashioned stage-coach which plodded slowly along, 
 is to be preferred to these new vehicles of destruc 
 tion, which hurry people out of this world into the 
 next without a moment's warning. 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Puffy left this morning, and Sara 
 toga misses their rotund forms and faces beaming 
 with smiles. 
 
 These worthy people returned not long since from 
 a tour in Europe, and Mrs. Puffy is full of amusing 
 accounts of her mishaps and adventures abroad, and 
 considers that she has every reason to be thankful 
 that she has arrived safe and sound upon her native 
 shore. 
 
 During her stay at the Springs she has entertained 
 a host of her dear friends every morning upon the 
 piazza, with ludicrous descriptions of her trials and 
 sufferings abroad, and one might be ready to look 
 
264: SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 upon her as a victim to martyrdom, did not her 
 comfortable proportions forbid. 
 
 Mrs. Puffy has brought home with her many arti 
 cles of vertUj which she evidently considers as 
 dearly won trophies. These she is wont to mention 
 in some such manner as this : 
 
 " My dear, you know I have purchased a beauti 
 ful Venus. It is now on its way from Italy. I 
 long for you to see it. It's a lovely thing, but 
 whether it is a Madonna or a Magdalen, I cannot 
 say." 
 
 Of course we are all on the qui vive to behold 
 this wonderful statue. Also to admire the " sta 
 tionery " which Mrs. Puffy said she purchased " to 
 put in the nicks of the walls ! " 
 
 And Mrs. Puffy uttered her final adieu with a 
 cordial " Now, do jump down and see us ! " as the 
 train whirled her good-natured face out of sight. 
 
 The Widow Dash has disappeared in a blaze of 
 glory, leaving behind her an endless train of dis-^ 
 consolate admirers. Every one of her magnificent 
 dresses has been worn once, and, therefore, it was 
 time to shift the scene, and to appear upon a new 
 stage. And so the fair widow, with her pet dogs, 
 her parrot, her maid, her coachman, footman, \ 
 and elegant equipages, to say nothing of trunks, 
 
DEPARTURES. 265 
 
 valises, and bandboxes without number, has depart 
 ed. She has taken her farwell of Saratoga, to 
 burst with all her beauty, and magnificence, upon 
 the astonished eyes of some other sphere in upper- 
 tend om. 
 
 Our best wishes follow her ! But it is really to 
 be hoped, that, for the benefit of all poor, timid, 
 unmarried damsels, the Widow Dash will be wedded 
 before next season ! 
 
 We had a delightful ride to-day to the lake. 
 
 While Madge arid the Colonel were making a 
 hideous racket rolling nine-pins, Fitz Hugh and 
 I went boating over the water in search of the 
 white lilies. We had a charming row. It was 
 rather rough, it is true, and the waves came spat 
 tering over the edges of the boat, every now and 
 then and the wind blew such a gale that it took 
 the frizz all out of my hair, and then*the bottom 
 of the boat was wet, and I had on thin shoes ; and, 
 besides, Fitz Hugh doesn't exactly understand the 
 management of a pair of oars, and I was several 
 times inclined to " paddle my own canoe." Still, 
 we had a charming time, and arrived at last in 
 safety at the foot of a romantic mound, which has 
 the unromantic name of Snake Hill. As soon as 
 
 we heard the title of this elevated piece of verdure, 
 12 
 
266 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 we had instantaneous visions of creeping things, and 
 paddled away to gather lilies elsewhere. 
 
 When we returned, after a long ramble through 
 the shady groves which border the lake, we found 
 Miss Madge and the Colonel sitting quiet enough on 
 the bank of a trout pond, fishing for trout. 
 
 A pretty pair of anglers they were as if any 
 one with both eyes open could fail to see that the 
 two were hooking for hearts ! 
 
 Notwithstanding that the close of the fashionable 
 season is so near, Saratoga was never more delight 
 ful than now. The weather is charming perfectly 
 enjoyable for either driving or walking ; the roads 
 are free from dust, and there is a softness in the sky 
 which foretells the coming of the autumn. 
 
 Here and there a single leaf may be seen tinted 
 with Autumn's gold, or just flushing into crimson. 
 
 And thefffe is a little haze over the hills in the 
 morning, through which the rising sun kisses the 
 earth as through a veil. It is strange that the 
 changing of the leaf should send people away in 
 throngs just when Nature is about to don her love 
 liest attire, and when the charm of wood and plain, 
 of placid lakes and running streams, of mountains 
 wrapt in mist, and hills clothed with ever-varying 
 verdure, lies sweetest on the earth. At no season of 
 
DEPARTURES. 267 
 
 the year are the drives around Saratoga so truly en 
 joyable as now. The fervid glare of the sun has 
 given place to a kindlier glow which, bathes the 
 whole country in a flood of golden light, enhancing 
 the clear blue of the sky, throwing over the distant 
 hills a blue ethereal mist, and shedding a tranquil 
 air over the valleys and plains. To one who is 
 weary of the bustle and hum of life at the crowded 
 hotels, a pleasant change may be easily found by 
 a drive out into the open country, over the pleasant 
 roads which extend in every direction from the 
 town. One of these, which leads out to a small 
 village, at a distance of six miles, is a favorite 
 drive. It winds along between bits of dark forests, 
 richly cultivated fields, and large gardens filled with 
 flowers, and all the way are scattered pleasant rural 
 homes, some of them evincing both wealth and 
 taste, while many more are the humble homes of 
 unpretending inmates. But n,o matter how small 
 or mean these simple dwellings are, they are all so 
 tidily kept, and have such a neat and home-like air, 
 that one feels as though it would be a pleasure 
 to bid adieu for a little time to the giddy whirl of 
 fashion at the hotels, and enjoy the peace and quiet 
 of .a country life. 
 
 The doors and windows of these cottages are 
 
268 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 almost always open, and little pots, filled with 
 scarlet geraniums, or other bright-hued plants, stand 
 upon -the low window-sills or near the threshold, 
 while over the simple porch clambers the sweet 
 honeysuckle or the modest morning-glory. And 
 then the bits of green lawn spreading before the 
 houses are so smooth and clean, the shady spots 
 under the old fruit-trees are so inviting, that one 
 feels almost sick at heart when remembering the 
 foolish frivolity of life down there in the village 
 where the strife for display goes ceaselessly on 
 where every day is an endless round of excitement, 
 and every night a whirl of dissipation. 
 
 The belle of the ball-room at Saratoga might 
 take a profitable stroll among these little homes, and 
 learn from her modest sister the charm of an un 
 affected life. The Saratoga wriggle, the Droop, the 
 " Kangaroo TIop " never flourished out here among 
 the flowers. These rural maidens have too much 
 to do, to go about listlessly, with their hands hang 
 ing distractedly from their wrists; and, as for 
 powder-boxes, paint-pots, rats and mice for the 
 hair, switches, false braids and curls, and all the 
 endless paraphernalia esteemed necessary to make 
 up a fashionable toilet country girls are as innocent 
 of all these as though they never existed. 
 
XXXVII. 
 
 THE ADIRONDACKS. 
 
 EVERY new day of the coming autumn seems to 
 dawn with, some fresh beauty, some added glory of 
 nature to inspire and delight us, and nothing is 
 lacking to complete the charm of Saratoga, but the 
 people ! 
 
 Ah, the people! Not that every one has de 
 parted ; not that the parlors and piazzas are utterly 
 deserted ; but to see train after train bearing hun 
 dreds of friends and strangers away every morning, 
 gives a dim foreboding of coming loneliness, which 
 is not pleasant to contemplate, and suggests the 
 dismal packing of one's trunk, etc. 
 
 There are still many people here. Those who 
 are on their way homeward from the North usually 
 take Saratoga on their route, and thus there are 
 plenty of arrivals, but the habitues of the place are 
 nearly all gone. 
 
 These autumn days are truly perfectly delightful, 
 with enough of sunshine to make everything look 
 
270 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 bright, and the air cool and bracing enough to keep 
 us all in the best of spirits. 
 
 One of the pleasantest episodes of our summer 
 season was a trip to th% Adirondacks. 
 
 It being the last day of summer we were bent on 
 making; the most of it and saw the dear creature 
 
 o 
 
 depart in the merriest mood, with a hearty wish for 
 " many returns of the season." 
 
 To say nothing of the sparkling champagne in 
 which we quaffed our farewell, we also drank 
 deep of the nectar which fills Nature's cup to over 
 flowing. 
 
 To have a new and beautiful revelation of the 
 summer's glory, on the very eve of its departure, 
 was something for which to be devoutly thankful. 
 And this revelation was our first glimpse of the 
 Adirondacks. Never was the blue sky brighter, 
 and never looked the mountains grander or more 
 inviting; those in the distance dimly and softly 
 blue, those nearer by, covered with luxuriant verd 
 ure. 
 
 To describe all the choice bits of beautiful scen 
 ery which presented themselves to our delighted 
 and wondering eyes, as we were whirled rapidly 
 along, would be a vain task to attempt. 
 
 To endeavor to write down, in commonplace 
 
THE ADIRONDACK^. 271 
 
 words, the admiration and enthusiasm with which 
 the glory of the Adirondack region inspired us, 
 would be like reducing one of Beethoven's grand 
 symphonies to simple prose. And yet, we stood 
 only at the gates not in the heart of the moun 
 tains. On either side was an ever-changing pano 
 rama of beauty trees just tinted witli the fresh 
 red glow of autumn ; fields and waysides covered 
 with wild flowers, a profusion of golden and red 
 blossoms flung with a lavish hand into autumn's 
 lap, the last gift of the departing summer; little 
 lakes without a ripple to disturb their woodland 
 dreams as they glistened in the sunlight ; narrow 
 streams down which the water came tumbling over 
 the rocks in angry rapids, like a human life fretting 
 itself away in never-ending turmoil and grief ; and 
 fairy-like bridges spanning the dark and troubled 
 waters, like that sweet hope of peace and happiness 
 hereafter, which spans the heaven above a troubled 
 soul. 
 
 All this, and much more, we saw with delighted 
 eyes, and grafted upon our hearts, to live there, a 
 pleasant memory forever. 
 
 And now for the other eyes which shared this 
 pleasure with us. 
 
 First, we had a special car all to ourselves. No 
 
272 ? SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 intruders were allowed, although any number of 
 rustic youths and maidens, of mothers with trouble 
 some babies, of old farmers and dairy -house matrons 
 came in at the stations, and cast longing glances at 
 our velvet cushions. But all these were respectfully 
 informed that they could " find seats in the next car," 
 by the awful Doctor who officiated as sentinel at our 
 doors. 
 
 Not that the Doctor was, in himself, especially 
 terrible, but that he was undoubtedly a perfect Cer 
 berus to those unfortunate travellers whom he 
 obliged to " move on." As to whom our party con 
 sisted of, we think we had an average share of the 
 beauty, wit, and talent now in Saratoga. 
 
 There was the humorous poet, just as handsome 
 and good-natured as ever; there was the famous 
 authoress, whose charming jiovels have delighted 
 homes of all grades, have been read alike by 
 "Fashion's" darlings, and also 1 by hearths where 
 " Famine " looked over the pages with hungry eyes. 
 
 There also was the " Minister Plenipotentiary and 
 Envoy Extraordinary from Honduras," an extraor 
 dinary man of infinite jest, to whom we all owed 
 our thanks for our delightful trip. And with him 
 his beautiful wife, who presides so gracefully in the 
 editorial chair of the Lady's Journal. 
 
THE ADIRONDACK^. 273 
 
 And there was the young artist whose telling 
 caricatures have caused " Honest Horace " to smile 
 more blandly than ever, and Grant to make strange, 
 wry faces ; also, the artist's wife and little ones. 
 
 And there was a coterie of ladies besides the 
 novelist's fair daughter, the spirituelle little poetess 
 with blue eyes and soft brown hair, the " Senti 
 nel's " wife, and the fair Louisianian with her hus 
 band. 
 
 And it will not do to leave out the handsome 
 young adjutant, who kept us all merry with his 
 songs and jokes ; nor the stately elderly gentleman, 
 with the fine head and expressive eyes, who sends 
 into so many " chimney corners " throughout the 
 world his numerous periodicals. And there was 
 Madge, and Aunt Prim, and Fitz Hugh. 
 
 Last and least of all was Follette, the little dog of 
 the strawberry-blonde type of beauty, who received 
 more attention than .anybody else. 
 
 But what is the use of being jealous of a little 
 dog? 
 
 We had an excellent dinner at the Adirondack 
 House, to which we were all warmly welcomed by 
 the Doctor. 
 
 But, considering the amount of sandwiches, boiled 
 
 eggs, etc., etc., of which we had generously partaken 
 12* 
 
274: SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 while on "our winding way" thither, we were not 
 alarmingly hungry. That is to say, the ladies were 
 not troubled with appetites the dear creatures sel 
 dom are ; but the men were as ravenous as ever, and 
 laid away such stores of chicken, brook trout, 
 huckleberry pies, etc., that the only wonder is they 
 all survived to reach home again. 
 
 But, all days have an end, and blessed are those 
 which glide away pleasantly with a halo of sunset 
 at the last. 
 
 So passed delightfully this last day of the sum 
 mer, and all that we have left of it is a cluster of 
 dried autumn leaves, red and golden-brown; a 
 bunch of faded flowers which we gathered among 
 the mountains, and a pleasant memory to which we 
 shall often and fondly turn in the days to coine. 
 
XXXVIII. 
 
 A MORNING KAMBLE. 
 
 WHAT a nice place to live in this world would be 
 if one never had to say Good-by ! 
 
 Really it seems as though we had rung all the 
 changes possible upon that dear old word during 
 the last two weeks, and now we are quite ready to 
 pack our trunks and turn our eyes longingly home 
 ward. Saratoga is like a banquet hall deserted. 
 
 There are plenty of people here yet, but they are 
 not those who have lent a gayety to the past season. 
 The fires are kindled in the grates, and unless pne 
 takes a walk out in the sunshine to keep warm, there 
 is nothing left to do except to sit before the glowing 
 coals and call up faces in the fire of all those with 
 whom we have spent happy hours during the sum 
 mer, of friends whom we have just bidden a regretful 
 farewell. 
 
 All the belles have departed, arid of course the 
 beaux have followed their flitting footsteps. 
 
 That some people are glad to go home, we cannot 
 wonder. Think of the poor mothers and fathers 
 
276 SPAKKLES FROM. SARATOGA. 
 
 who have been obliged to sit up night after night 
 keeping watch over their daughters, until the wee 
 sma' hours, while those charming creatures carried on 
 their innocent flirtations ! 
 
 We know of one old lady who has almost lost her 
 eyesight from being obliged to wink and blink the 
 hours away beneath the glittering gaslight, while she 
 played duenna to a pretty flirt, whose eyes are still 
 as bright as diamonds, and who has entrapped any 
 number of hearts, while successfully keeping her 
 own. 
 
 Last night we had the final ball of the season ; 
 and now the lights are out, and the ball-room 
 deserted. The music is heard no more, and nothing 
 remains to lure or charm us ; nothing save a store of 
 pleasant memories, which cling around the place like 
 the scent of dead flowers. 
 
 To rid ourselves of a feeling of gloom, we have 
 spent the morning in taking a ramble, in bidding 
 farewell to the favorite haunts and scenes of Sara 
 toga's outdoor life. 
 
 First among these are the Springs. There is the 
 old Congress, to which, for many long years, have 
 thronged the old and the young, the grave and the 
 
 g a y- 
 
 This water, which has bubbled so freely for over 
 
A MORNING RAMBLE. 277 
 
 a century, seems to have lost its pristine fire and 
 sparkle, and gives signs of dying away forever. 
 
 What countless scores of people have drank at 
 this spring and are now numbered, like dry leaves, 
 among the dead and gone. 
 
 How many have sought health at this fountain, 
 and found it; how many have drank, and turned 
 away to die ! 
 
 And now the fount is growing less fading away 
 a Lethean stream filled with the secre f joys and 
 sorrows of the past. 
 
 Next comes the new Hathorn Spring, fresh and 
 sparkling, and full of new life ready to take the 
 place of the old Congress. 
 
 If the latter spring represents to us the waters of 
 Lethe, in the Hathorn we find the long-sought foun 
 tain of perpetual youth. 
 
 At the Washington Spring, where we go at sunset 
 to drink farewell to the dying day, we find sweet 
 Memory the presiding nymph of the place. And, 
 as we lift the sparkling glass to our lips, with the 
 last rays of the sun tinting the waters, we drink to 
 the remembrance of all those with whom we have 
 spent the happy, happy days just passed 
 
 For the emblem of Hope, one must seek the Ex 
 celsior, and a more charming ramble cannot be 
 
278 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 imagined than straying through the grand old woods 
 which lead to this spring. Once entered upon this 
 shaded path in the forest, the folly and bustle of 
 the world are left behind, and a green curtain 
 falls softly between the splendor and frivolity of 
 fashionable life, and the silent, solemn beauty of 
 nature. Everything is so full of delightful quiet 
 no sound save the gentle murmur of the leaves, or 
 the soft twittering of the birds who are pluming their 
 wings for flight. Theio is a soothing influence in the 
 very air which floats around you, laden with the rich 
 fragrance of the pines ; in the sunlight, which falls 
 sifted down through the tall forest trees, and lies 
 beneath your feet, a thin haze of gold, over which the 
 shadows of the leaves are forever gliding. 
 
 Just half way on your walk to the spring, there 
 lies a miniature lake in the wood, smooth as glass ; 
 a tiny mirror which Nature has left here, that even 
 the forest trees may look down and learn what it is 
 to grow old ; for on the brink of this little lake stand 
 the grand old monarchs of the wood, spreading their 
 boughs above the water, and forever gazing upon 
 their own images beneath. 
 
 It is such a little lake and yet so full of quiet 
 beauty ; and near by is a rustic seat or two, where 
 one may sit and dream long, pleasant hours away. 
 
EXCELSIOR SPRING, SARATOGA. 
 
A MORNING RAMBLE. 279 
 
 Oil, were all of life as full ~of quiet joy as these 
 idle, summer hours ! 
 
 Leaving the Lake, we soon come to the Excelsior 
 Spring, and as we sip of its clear waters, it is with 
 the hope that some sunny days are yet in store for 
 us, as happy as those which have led us thither. 
 
 Retracing our steps through the shaded forest, a 
 little walk further on brings us to the well-known 
 Indian Encampment. 
 
 Here still sits the beautiful Indian girl, who 
 realizes for us the dark Minnehaha famed in song. 
 Her hair is black and glossy, a deep color tinges her 
 olive cheeks, and her black eyes have a soft, dreamy 
 look in them, as she sits just without the cabin door, 
 slowly twining thin chips of willow into fancy bas 
 kets. Her name is Eunice. You may look upon 
 this Indian beauty and be charmed with the naive 
 maid of the forest. But, as you pass on, the 
 swarthy, ugly features of the elderly women, and 
 the homeliness of the men, soon break the spell. 
 
 These Indians live in little huts which consist of 
 but one room, and here they eat, sleep, and pass 
 the humblest lives with an air of supreme content. 
 Before each door stands a little table covered with 
 specimens of their industry, beadwork, baskets, 
 canoes, bows and arrows, etc., etc. 
 
280 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 When the late frosts come, the Indians pack up 
 their worldly treasures, and, deserting their tem 
 porary homes, hie away to their native wigwams in 
 the far North. 
 
 There are two Indian seers at the encampment, 
 and many a fair belle and anxious lover have sought 
 to catch a glimpse of Destiny's page by crossing 
 the dark hands of the Indian fortune-teller with 
 silver. 
 
 Leaving the Indian encampment, we enter the 
 grand old Park once more, to take our last stroll 
 through its shady groves. And so we wend our 
 way back to the hotel, satisfied that a ramble 
 through the woods upon a crisp autumn morning, is 
 by far more enjoyable, and more exhilarating to the 
 spirits, than hovering around the fire, wrapped in 
 shawls, and complaining of the early arrival of the 
 last comer to Saratoga Jack Frost. 
 
 One should have plenty of leisurej and but little 
 of the world's cares or sorrows upon the mind, to 
 truly enjoy a walk. 
 
 And then an artist's loving eye and a poet's ap 
 preciative soul are needed to take in all the beauties 
 which Nature strews around us. There are the green 
 leaves which the parting kiss of summer has flushed 
 into crimson ; the twittering birds who are plan- 
 
A MORNING KAMBLE. 281 
 
 ning their journeys southward, and singing their 
 farewell songs in a plaintive tone ; the brown-eyed 
 deer, which are so tame they half meet yonr caress 
 in the graceful arching of their necks ; the little 
 brown squirrels which cross the path close to your 
 feet, and then sitting upright on the grass near by, 
 peer curiously at you ; the white mists which hover 
 over the hill-tops, and the warm golden beams of 
 the sun which gradually absorb them ; the majesty 
 of distant mountains ; the quiet peace of the val 
 leys ; the glistening of sparkling waters that lie in 
 the sunlight, and the musical babble of the brook 
 that glides through the shady places, and over all 
 these the white clouds drifting across an infinite sea 
 of azure who that rambles along and takes not in 
 all these varied charms of Nature with a lover's eye 
 enjoys the passing hour to its full extent ? 
 
XXXIX. 
 
 ADIEUX. 
 
 AUNT PEIM mildly suggested this morning that 
 we had better pack our trunks for home. 
 
 We were quite ready to yield compliance. "We 
 have gone to the bottom of these trunks so often 
 during the summer season that we are really growing 
 tired of them, and, womanlike, begin to long for 
 something new. 
 
 And no wonder ! For such a. bewilderment of 
 draggled silks, rumpled muslins, and dingy laces 
 never set out on a homeward journey before. 
 
 Madge says the very idea of being at home once 
 more is delightful. 
 
 She is tired to death of frizzing her hair every 
 day for two long months, and declares that should 
 she remain much longer she should die of the 
 crimp ! 
 
 And then it is so tiresome to be obliged to array 
 one's self in full dress every evening, when one feels 
 much more like being at home curled up in an easy 
 chair and taking a nap. 
 
ADIEUX. 283 
 
 It seems such a very long time since Madge and 
 I had the privilege of closing our eyes in sleep be 
 fore one o'clock in the morning. 
 
 Even Miss Airs is a little oppressed with ennui 
 after such a continued whirl of excitement, and was 
 heard to remark tnat she intended to luxuriate for 
 the next month at home in loose sacques and old 
 slippers, and to do nothing but read the most sensa 
 tional novels real love and murder plots. 
 
 It is no wonder that the poor thing is tired, after 
 such an arduous summer as she has passed. 
 
 To think of the square-inch of embroidery she 
 has accomplished upon the canvas, which afforded 
 her afternoon employment ; the half page of 
 French she has meandered through by way of dis 
 ciplining her mind ; the perplexing study of intri 
 cate toilettes to which she has devoted herself, and 
 the wearisome hours she has passed in front of her 
 mirror before she emerged from her room to daz 
 zle an admiring world ! 
 
 What a happy creature the butterfly is, who is 
 always gorgeously arrayed, with no dress-makers' 
 bills to pay, no hair-dressers' torments to endure, 
 and no stupid, lumbering trunks to pack and 
 unpack, as she wings her flight from one place to 
 another ! 
 
284 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 The penalty of being upon one's best behavior for 
 a long season is too much for Madge. To be under 
 the scrutinizing, critical eyes of the world every day 
 from eight o'clock in the morning until after mid 
 night to be obliged to look just so to dress just 
 so to walk, and dance, and talk just so to live 
 without the seclusion of home in the midst of an 
 idle, curious, fashionable world, for any lengthened 
 period of time, is too much to he borne with com 
 placency by one so averse to COK ventionalities as is 
 Madge. 
 
 And so, although the summer has passed delight 
 fully, almost like a dream, with its ceaseless round 
 of pleasures, its music, its flowers, its singing birds, 
 its sunshine and its bits of shade all blending 
 together to form one charming whole still we are 
 content, and even glad to turn our thoughts home 
 ward again. For, after all, as the old song has it, 
 " There's no place like home." 
 
 Saratoga just now is like a glass of champagne, 
 which has lost all its life and sparkle. 
 
 Every cool morning is the signal for a new army 
 of departures. The daily scene at the depot just 
 before the train leaves has come to be really affect 
 ing to sensitive nerves. Such hand-shaking ; such 
 fond embracing, such whispered adieux and oft- 
 
ADIEUX. 285 
 
 reiterated farewells, and all this without a single 
 tear to moisten the parting moment is really 
 heart-rending. And then when the train is fairly 
 off, to hear the comments of those who remain 
 behind, upon the dear just-departed ; this also is 
 heart-rending ! Saratoga friendships are soon made, 
 soon broken, and parting seems to bring no pang. 
 
 But there stands that great Saratoga trunk, with 
 its lid up, yawning to receive our dilapidated ward 
 robes. I wonder if that trunk is tired of its Sara 
 toga season, and longs to be at home again. 
 
 And, as I look upon it, I imagine that every 
 brass-headed nail in the dear old creature shines 
 with very glee at the mere idea of home. 
 
 It is willing to endure the martyrdom of in 
 numerable bangs and thumps, to be pitched and 
 whirled about by porters and baggage-men, that it 
 may find its way at last to its old familiar corner 
 at home ! 
 
 It promises, moreover, to sacredly guard every 
 secret committed to its keeping ; for that trunk is 
 destined to carry something more than a lot of 
 dresses and other articles pertaining to a lady's 
 wardrobe. 
 
 There are the trophies of the season to be stowed 
 away in its capacious boxes. Sonnets by young 
 
286 SPARKLES FEOM SARATOGA. 
 
 Limbernap gushing things which never fail to 
 send Madge into spasms of laughter bundles of 
 tenderly indited epistles from conceited adorers, 
 who will never love any one so much as their own 
 dear selves which it is just as well to keep from 
 Aunt Prim's vigilant eye ; Fitz Hugh's picture, 
 taken in his most charming mood and attitude, etc., 
 etc. 
 
 These are some of the " sundries " to be con 
 signed to the safe-keeping of that trunk. I wish it 
 bon voyage with all my heart. We are promised a 
 brief visit to Lake George before fairly turning our 
 faces homeward, a possible trip to Niagara Falls, and 
 a few days at West Point as we go down the river - 
 where, of course, Madge expects to lay siege to the 
 heart of every handsome cadet in uniform ! 
 
 And so, adieu to Saratoga. 
 
 The memory of its bright weeks will cast a glow 
 of sunshine far into the coming winter. The new 
 found friends we have made, the eyes that have 
 looked kindly upon us, the hands that have warmly 
 clasped our own, fancy will often bring back to us 
 again, until another summer shall bring them in 
 reality. 
 
XL. 
 
 LAKE GEORGE. 
 
 are rusticating at Lake George. Really rus 
 ticating ! We have resigned, with a little half-sigh, 
 the fascinations of Saratoga, and have settled down 
 for a few days of quiet on the banks of this lovely 
 lake. We left our worthy President with his 
 family at Saratoga. It is to be feared that the poor 
 man will have a sudden attack of lockjaw superin 
 duced by the excessive squeezing and shaking of 
 hands Avhich he undergoes. Perhaps this .is the 
 reason he is always so quiet 
 
 How can a man talk, I should like to know, 
 whose right arm is the embodiment of perpetual 
 motion ? What would he do if the French fashion 
 of kissing prevailed among us ? Surely he would 
 be actually smothered, by the embraces of the 
 Goldbugs, the Money-Bags, the Petroleumites, the 
 Shoddyites, and others of that ilk, who swarm con 
 tinually around him, like so many bees hunting for 
 sweets ! And the ladies, too, would claim their 
 rights, and the hero of many battles would be van- 
 
288 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 quislied at last. It is but a short journey from 
 Saratoga here. You take the train at the Springs 
 for Glen's Falls, which is a romantic, sequestered- 
 looking place, and is but an hour's ride. 
 
 Arrived at Glen's Falls,, you are mercilessly 
 tumbled into a huge stage-coach, without even the 
 preliminary caution of " this side up with care ! " 
 They are always in a hurry in filling up this stage. 
 They are as much afraid of losing an atom of time, 
 as they are of losing an atom of space either inside 
 or outside of that coach. 
 
 The mathematical genius who presides at the 
 stage door, to attend to the bestowal of passen 
 gers therein, takes your exact dimensions as you 
 approach, in the twinkling of an eye, and places 
 you instantly in a corner which you seem to 
 fit exactly, without having an extra inch of spare 
 room. Bundles and leather bags, umbrellas, para 
 sols, . and baskets, are, as a matter of necessity, 
 piled up on each individual's lap, and then, when 
 the coach is filled to its utmost capacity with men, 
 women, and children, lap-dogs, and other baggage 
 all packed in like so many chickens in a coop, with 
 not even room to flutter one's feathers you are 
 invited, and expected, by the smiling stage-driver, to 
 admire the scenery. 
 
LAKE GEORGE. 289 
 
 That driver has a sarcastic expression in the 
 twinkle of his eye, although his face smiles blandly 
 upon you, as he extends this invitation, and witnesses 
 your spasmodic endeavors to peep out from the 
 labyrinth of people, leather bags, and parasols, to 
 view the scenery! And just at that identical 
 moment, when you have brought your optical organs 
 into the line of taking a " bird's-eye " view of the 
 surrounding country, that driver contrives to nearly 
 upset the stage in some terrific mud-hole, and you 
 forget scenery, passengers; propriety, and everything 
 else, to scream out with affright. At least " yours 
 truly " did, and Aunt Prim gave me a vigorous 
 thrust with her parasol, by way of restoring my self- 
 possession ! 
 
 But who wants to be upset in a mud-hole ! Surely 
 there is nothing romantic or consoling to one's feel- 
 
 O O 
 
 ings in such an event. 
 
 Perhaps the best place in the world to ascertain 
 the amount of one's self-possession under the most 
 trying circumstances, is in a stage-coach journeying 
 over an uneven, hilly road. Even Aunt Prim was 
 startled out of her rigorous sense of propriety, and 
 grasped suddenly hold of a fat old gentleman who 
 sat next to her, as the stage gave a lurch forward. 
 
 Failing to catch satisfactory glimpses of the 
 13 
 
290 SPAKKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 scenery, we devoted our attention to a worthy couple 
 who sat vis-d-vis to us in the stage. They were a 
 bride and bridegroom, evidently on their wedding 
 tour. The groom was certainly fifty-five. No 
 widower twice taken in by a woman's wiles was he, 
 but a whimsical, fussy old bachelor, fairly en 
 trapped ! We ransacked our brains for a reason, but 
 for the life of us, we could not see why the bride 
 should have taken the trouble to bait for him ! But 
 tastes differ. The bride was about forty, and two 
 months ago, would have been called a vinegar-faced 
 old maid. Tall, thin, and angular, she was the per 
 sonification of female prudence and propriety. We 
 were fairly started on our way when this interesting 
 couple commenced the following conversation : 
 
 " Elihu," said the bride, " I know they have got 
 my trunk upside down ! " 
 
 " Shouldn't wonder ; but no harm'll come to the 
 c fixings ' I reckon," placidly returned Elihu. 
 
 " No harm ? " ejaculated the bride, opening her 
 eyes wide with astonishment at such indifference. 
 But she was too indignant to say more. " Susan, 
 have you got those tickets ? " 
 
 " Yes," replied Susan, holding up her hand, where 
 the tickets were thrust inside of a cotton glove. 
 
 " Well, don't lose them ! And the check for the 
 
LAKE GEOKGE. 291 
 
 valise, have you got that ? " asked Elihu, anxiously. 
 The check also was shown tucked away in the 
 glove. 
 
 " I wish I had brought my thick coat with me," 
 said Elihu. 
 
 " Why, are you cold ? " 
 
 " No, but it might be cold afore night." We may 
 here as well remark that the day, especially inside 
 of the coach, was suffocatingly hot. 
 
 " Susan, have you got the big umbrella ? " 
 
 " Yes," meekly replied Susan. 
 
 " And the little one ? " pursued Elihu, with an 
 air of increased anxiety. 
 
 Here Fitz Hugh burst into a laugh, but as pro 
 priety must be observed even under the most perverse 
 circumstances, I had to give him a warning pinch to 
 keep still. 
 
 " Susan, have you got those tickets ? " asked the 
 husband the second time. The tickets being again 
 produced for his satisfaction, he again enjoined her 
 " not to lose them ! " 
 
 " I wish that I had brought my thin coat, and my 
 straw hat. The sun. looks pretty hot out there 
 and I could just as well as not have put them in my 
 pocket ! " 
 
 And here Elihu began to search in his pockets, 
 
292 SPARKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 as though with a vague hope of finding a stray hat or 
 coat tucked away in their recesses. Suddenly a look 
 of blank dismay spread over his face, as he produced 
 a roll of coarse wire from his pocket, and exclaimed, 
 in the greatest consternation, 
 
 " Merciful Heavens ! Jehosophat ! If I haven't 
 brought away the wire the men were to lay them ar 
 pipes with ! And if I should happen to die before 
 I get back, them ar pipes never would be laid 
 right ! " 
 
 Here Madge burst into a little ripple of laughter ; 
 while the poor bride looked becomingly disconsolate, 
 either at the prospect of such a sudden demise of 
 her new husband, or at the perplexing dilemma 
 of " them ar pipes " it was impossible to tell which 
 while her better half, also ludicrously mournful, 
 solaced himself with eating peanuts. 
 
 Those nine terrible miles being at last traversed, 
 we alighted, and the last we heard of this worthy 
 couple as they moved away, was 
 
 " Susan, have you got those tickets ? " and " don't 
 lose them!" ejaculated with greater emphasis than 
 ever. Dear ! dear ! what would have happened if 
 Susan had lost those tickets ! 
 
 But, as all troubles are destined some time to find an 
 end, here we are, safe and sound, with our " Saratoga 
 
LAKE GEORGE. 293 
 
 trunks " unpacked, and ready for any emergency, 
 whether it be a hop or a ball, a moonlight row upon 
 the lake with Fitz Hugh, or an intellectual skirmish 
 with some of the wise Boston youths who are here. 
 For, having bid adieu to the fashionable frivolities of 
 New York society, we find ourselves suddenly in a 
 new atmosphere, being surrounded by the dignified 
 propriety, the ostentatious wisdom, and the mar 
 vellous egotism of the people from " the Hub " ! 
 
 It does not follow, necessarily, that all Bostonians 
 are conceited, but they are all equally vain of the 
 one essential fact of their being Bostonians. 
 
 Ah ! why, alas ! did I ever breathe, since my first 
 breath was not inhaled in the divine air which floats 
 over Boston Common ! What right have I to be 
 proud of Bunker Hill, or its monument either, 
 since I am not a Bostonian ? What music have my 
 ears ever listened to worth hearing, since they have 
 never been enchanted by Boston's wonderful organ ! 
 In fact, who can expect to be either famous, or wise, 
 if he does not hail from the modern Athens ? Alas ! 
 and alas ! for the people doomed to sit upon the 
 spokes which whirl around the immaculate " Hub " ! 
 
 But some day we may be tempted to throw down 
 the gauntlet, and with true Knickerbocker spirit, de 
 fend the claims of Manhattan Islanders for supe- 
 
294 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 riority, for pre-eminence, and pre-excellence over 
 these deluded, egotistical Bostonians. But we haven't 
 time now. In just one hour we are going to have 
 a little regatta upon the lake with Fitz Hugh. Fitz 
 Hugh in one boat, and Madge and I in the other. 
 "We are learning to handle the oars, and can pull a 
 stroke with Fitz Hugh any day. Madge says that 
 she is afraid of becoming a blue-light, from daily 
 contact with the Boston wiseacres and blue-stockings. 
 
 And she further avers, that she is going to make 
 a psychological examination of one of these Boston 
 youths, to learn whether they are afraid of " learned " 
 women ! I should like to hear Madge play the part 
 of a bas bleu. Whatever she undertakes she usually 
 carries to perfection, and she did once frighten away 
 a frantic adorer by pretending to be given to dab 
 bling in literature, and by overwhelming him with 
 learned discourses from her pedantic tongue. 
 
 Poor fellow ! he has looked blue from his fright 
 ever since, and doubtless is still congratulating 
 himself that he has narrowly escaped the martyrdom 
 of having a literary wife ! 
 
 It is curious to notice the views of the lords of 
 creation in regard to choosing a wife. 
 
 They expect every woman to be an infallible 
 housekeeper. 
 
LAKE GEORGE. 295 
 
 They seem to think that every mental devel 
 opment robs a woman of some part of her affectional 
 nature that a great soul indicates a small heart. 
 
 Ah, well ! Men are apt to grow wiser and sadder 
 as they grow older. They begin to find that some 
 thing else beside a pretty face and a good house 
 keeper is necessary to make home happy, and look 
 back regretfully to the time when they failed to 
 choose a companion, in choosing a wife. 
 
 A distinguished man said to me not long ago that, 
 when he married, he " did not want to marry a 
 woman who knew too much ! " After he had been 
 engaged in mental labor, speech-making all day, 
 when he came home at night he didn't want his wife 
 to talk to him ; but while he rested himself, she 
 was to fan off the flies ! 
 
 JSTow, isn't that a splendid idea of the utility of a 
 wife? 
 
 I hope when that man finds his ideal spouse, that 
 she will lure all the flies and bumble-bees in the 
 neighborhood into the room, where he seats himself 
 and then fan herself instead of him ! 
 
 Does man's selfishness deserve anything bet 
 ter? 
 
 To-morrow we are to sail down the lake to visit 
 old "Fort Ti," and this afternoon we are to go 
 
296 SPAKKLES FKOM SARATOGA. 
 
 " a -gyP s y* n & " i n the wo ds. But Madge says it is 
 time for our regatta and Fitz Hugh is waiting. 
 
 "My skiff is by the shore;" 
 
 I throw aside my quill 
 To ply the feathered oar ! 
 
XLI. 
 
 FORT TICONDEROGA. 
 
 THE people who come to Lake George to spend a 
 few weeks, evidently do so with the full intention 
 of enjoying themselves. There is less formality 
 here than at Saratoga, and much less display in the 
 way of dress. Long rambles in the delightful woods, 
 which are so near by, and rowing out upon the lake, 
 are quite unfavorable to an elegant toilet, and, 
 therefore, the simplest costumes are preferred. 
 
 These do very well for youth and beauty to ap 
 pear in, for youth and beauty are charming in any 
 guise, and go far to prove the truth of the old adage 
 that " Beauty unadorned's adorned the most." But 
 then, every one cannot be young and beautiful, and 
 I have noticed that ladies whose complexions 
 require particular care cannot be induced to vent 
 ure upon the water in a boat. They are all afflicted 
 with nervousness at the mere mention of such a 
 
 <% 
 
 thing, and I fancy they are quite right in preferring 
 to remain on dry land, since a few splashes of cold 
 water would be extremely detrimental to paint and 
 
 powder ! 
 13* 
 
298 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 The Widower Pomfret has arrived here from 
 Saratoga with his two sons and five daughters. It 
 is something to be thankful for, that these daughters 
 are all of a marriageable age ! I say this because 
 Aunt Prim seems to fancy this grim widower. Dear 
 old Bachelor Grumpy, with all his funny ways, is 
 surely far preferable to a widower with two sons and 
 five daughters. Goodness ! What an addition that 
 would be to our family ! What woman in her 
 senses would undertake to marry off five daughters f 
 I have represented this to Aunt Prim in the most 
 pathetic tones. 
 
 Poor dears ! It is quite impossible to find, in one 
 short season, five proper, nice young men, to pro 
 vide for these poor little Pomf rets. 
 
 In contemplating this fact, we cannot help think 
 ing what an advantage it would be, if women could 
 only take care of themselves. This looking forward 
 of a young girl, in quest of some stray specimen of 
 the genus homo who may chance her way, arid upon 
 whom she is to depend for her very existence, for 
 every morsel that she eats, and every shred that she 
 wears, and whose ipse dixit is to be the infallible 
 guide and rule of her life, is a popular fallacy which 
 has held sway too long. And it is a fallacy, which, 
 although even now being discussed and agitated, still 
 
FOKT TICONDEEOGA. 299 
 
 holds its place, like those great rocking-stones which 
 you may easily move with your little finger, al 
 though human strength is unable to lift them from 
 their places ! It is to be hoped that time will 
 change all this. For man-kind as a race are ex 
 tremely unreliable. If the same can be truly said 
 of women, I should like to know if it is their fault ? 
 "Who ever taught them to rely upon themselves? 
 I do wish that one of these numerous Pomfrets 
 would succeed in capturing alive one of the Boston 
 beaux who flourish here. It would do my heart 
 good to see one of these straight-laced, sombre in 
 dividuals, who seem to dwell perpetually in cloud- 
 land (that is, when they are out of Boston), brought 
 low to terra firma by the wiles of a woman, and 
 that woman born out of Massachusetts ! 
 
 These gentlemen from the " Hub " are the quiet 
 est, demurest-looking youths you ever saw. They 
 have about them such an air of unlimited wisdom, 
 of conscious superiority, that Madge says she does 
 not utter a word in their presence, for fear of being 
 devoured in a moment. They always appear as if 
 just about to open their lips with wise Latin saws or 
 Greek homilies against the frivolities of the pres 
 ent age. They live so enveloped in the fog of Bos 
 ton Harbor, that they see the rest of the world 
 through a mist! Not a hair of their heads is 
 
300 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 allowed to curl, or to stand upright ; their eyebrows 
 are never disarranged, but lie as placid and 
 unruffled as the blue waters of the lake ; even their 
 eyelashes move with precision, and the eyes beneath 
 them are generally of a cold steel-gray. 
 
 Their toilette is scrupulously neat and precise ; in 
 fact, all is sleek and slender, proper even to the 
 excess of propriety and all emphatically Bos- 
 tonian. 
 
 Dear me ! It quite takes away one's breath to 
 gaze long at these immaculate specimens of human 
 ity, and it is really refreshing to one's heart and 
 mind to steal a long glance at Fitz Hugh after con 
 templating these frost-bitten youths from Boston 
 Harbor ! Madge says she shall never lose her heart 
 in the atmosphere which surrounds them. It is too 
 frigid. 
 
 We had a charming sail yesterday to visit old 
 " Fort Ti." Our party consisted of Aunt Prim, 
 escorted by the assiduous Mr. Pomfret, the family 
 retinue of Pomfrets followed of course, Madge, Fitz 
 Hugh, and two pretty Boston belles, the latter being 
 attended by two clear-starched " Hub " exquisites, 
 who corrected their bad Latin, and matronized 
 them generally. 
 
 It was a splendid morning, and the water of the 
 
FOKT TICONDEKOGA. 301 
 
 lake had never seemed so blue, as it threw up 
 little waves to catch the warm sunbeams and 
 reflected the golden light again and again. 
 
 Over the distant banks and over the beautiful 
 islands hung the white mists the tears which night 
 had left upon the face of Nature, and which the sun 
 had not yet kissed away. 
 
 Sailing down Lake George on a. morning like this 
 was like floating over the waters of some enchanted 
 land, and we half expected to see the fair forms of 
 mermaids rising above the deep, and to hear the 
 singing of sirens among the fairy-like islands. 
 
 But Aunt Prim quickly dispelled all such fanciful 
 illusions, and brought us suddenly back to the cold 
 world by remarking that she thought they ought 
 to cut down " all the trees upon those useless 
 islands " for the benefit of the poor ! I should like 
 to see the land which was enchanting enough to 
 awaken Aunt Prim's enthusiasm. 
 
 In olden times this beautiful lake was called 
 " Lac Sacrement," probably from the purity of its 
 waters. 
 
 All over its clear bosom are scattered beautiful 
 islands, which lie as placid and still as a quiet dream 
 beneath the bending sky. 
 
 Among these, Dome Island is considered to be 
 
302 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the most beautiful. Here it was that, in revolution 
 ary times, General Putnam effectually concealed his 
 men while he held his conference with General 
 Webb. 
 
 What would "Old Put" have done if some 
 benevolent lady like Aunt Prim had had those trees 
 cut down for the benefit of the poor? 
 
 Arrived at the foot of the lake we left the steamer 
 and renewed our troubles in a stage by riding four 
 miles to reach the fort. 
 
 But we forgot in a measure our feminine fears 
 while passing over this hallowed ground, every foot 
 of which is replete with historical interest. 
 
 Of course the usual Demosthenes of Ticonderoga 
 accompanied us, and we made ourselves merry over 
 his carefully delivered oration. lie pointed out to 
 us the scene of many a bloody contest as we drove 
 over the sacred soil he brought before us, in a 
 vivid picture, the gallant Green Mountain Boys, 
 who with the brave Ethan Allen marched upon 
 Fort Ticonderoga, and demanded its surrender, in 
 the name of the " Great Jehovah and the Continen 
 tal Congress ! " And all these, who fought and bled 
 so long ago in freedom's cause, have rested upon 
 their laurels and slept in the silent tomb for a hun 
 dred years. The old fort is in a sad state of neglect ; 
 
FORT TICONDEROGA. 303 
 
 and instead of its stones being regarded as sacred 
 
 O O 
 
 relics, the neighboring farmers carry them away to 
 build fences with ! 
 
 Would it not be a good speculation for some " live 
 Yankee" to buy up these mementoes of the past, 
 and to transmit them to his children's children, 
 until our country, now so fresh and young, has grown 
 old, and the relics of her youth shall have become of 
 priceless value ? For time, which covers the dead 
 oak with ivy, also flings over the -dead past the veil 
 of affection and of reverential awe. 
 
 The sail up the lake, returning homeward, to Fort 
 "William Henry, was a delightful one. The young 
 moon and the bright-eyed stars came out to keep 
 vigil as we glided swiftly over the shining water. 
 Fitz Hugh became inspired with the romance of the 
 hour, and told me something which only the stars 
 heard ; and one does not mind having the stars for 
 confidants, since they never betray the secrets 
 revealed to them ! 
 
 Even Aunt Prim looked pathetically up to the 
 moon, and breathed a sigh, which was probably in 
 memory of Bachelor Grumpy. 
 
 Just to think of Aunt Prim's standing out on deck 
 in the night air to look at the moon, and waste her 
 thoughts upon that thankless man, thereby incurring 
 
304 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 the risk of terrific rheumatics ! "What a self- 
 sacrificing life a woman lives ! Meanwhile that 
 mischievous Madge was doing her best to horrify 
 a learned Bostonian youth by her wisdom, but he 
 didn't seem horrified in the least only amused. 
 And he inflicted such a vast amount of both ancient 
 and modern lore upon poor Madge that she began 
 to yawn, and fancied that she had the worst of the 
 bargain. 
 
 You cannot frighten your modern Athenians by 
 your learning, my fair sisters. They really expect 
 something more of a woman than that she should 
 know how to " brush away flies." 
 
 As we glided past the beautiful, fairy-like islands 
 sleeping so quietly in the moonlight, Madge said that 
 she would love to have a little isle of her own, on 
 which she might dwell forever. But Madge is sadly 
 given to romancing and it is to be feared would 
 find an island home quite unendurable. "What ! no 
 dinner-parties, no hops or balls, no concerts, save 
 the tree toad and the katydid duets, no German, no 
 opera, no anything worth living for ! As if one 
 could possibly exist in a place where the latest 
 fashions were not to be had ! As if one could bid 
 adieu forever to point-lace and satin, and wear 
 
FORT TICONDEROGA. 305 
 
 linsey-woolsey all the rest of one's days without being 
 heart-broken ! 
 
 As wo drew near Caldwell Landing, strains of 
 music came floating toward us on the evening air, 
 and we, could sec the Fort William Henry ablaze 
 with lights which twinkled through the trees like 
 myriads of stars. 
 
 Madge is already turning her bright eyes south 
 ward, in anticipation of a few days at West Point, 
 before we finally recross the threshold of home. 
 Fitz Hugh says a girl would fall in love with a 
 blue-coat with gilt buttons if there were no one in 
 side of it ! 
 
XLII. 
 
 NIAGARA FALLS. 
 
 A VISIT to Niagara Falls in the beautiful month 
 of September, after a gay season at Saratoga and 
 other fashionable resorts, is apt to be beneficial in 
 more ways than one. 
 
 The contemplation of Nature in her grandest 
 mood, acts as a preventive to one's being spoiled 
 by the display of extravagant folly at the Springs, 
 and from having been drawn into the whirlpool of 
 fashionable dissipation and sent round the vortex 
 from day to day until the close of the season. 
 
 At Niagara man may learn much of his own in 
 dividual littleness and insignificance in the vast 
 scheme of creation. lie may look upon himself as 
 but a little grain of sand amid the mighty multi 
 tude of men who pass over the face of the earth 
 and are so soon lost upon the shores of the Infinite 
 a grain of sand which a moment of time sweeps 
 away forever. 
 
 And beside the brief space of time allotted to 
 
NIAGARA FALLS. 307 
 
 man, how eternal seems the never-ceasing voice of 
 Niagara. 
 
 For ages and ages past, have these mighty waters 
 rushed with a never-ending flow into the dark abyss 
 beneath, invincible and unrelenting as cruel fate, 
 bearing everything before them with a power and 
 a majesty that no mortal has ever yet been able to 
 resist. 
 
 And for ages yet to come, although generation 
 after generation of men shall pass away, like 
 leaves before the wind ; proud forests shall be laid 
 low ; nations shall rise and fall ; barren plains 
 become populous cities, and cities whose wealth and 
 power now rule the world shall become like desert 
 places still shall the thunder tones of Niagara 
 proclaim the littleness of time and the infiiiiteness 
 of eternity. 
 
 Niagara at this season of the year is thronged with 
 visitors. 
 
 The sultriness of the dog-days being over, people 
 can truly enjoy travelling in this charming weather 
 that is, provided always that they can divest 
 themselves of gloomy forebodings of accidents by 
 steamboat or rail, which are but too well justified by 
 the frequent occurrence of mishaps. 
 
 The principal part of the visitors at Niagara are 
 
308 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 transient guests, people who come and go, and 
 carry away with them a series of pictures indelibly 
 graven upon the mind, which neither time nor 
 change can ever efface. 
 
 Amid the great number of summer resorts, 
 Niagara stands alone in the peculiar feature of her 
 attractions. This is no place for fashion and dis 
 play ; therefore it is that the giddy worldlings of 
 upper-tendom never linger here, only stopping a day 
 or two to gaze with a little wonder and awe at the 
 mighty spectacle spread out before them, and then 
 rushing away to unpack their trunks and Haunt their 
 finery in some more congenial atmosphere. 
 
 It is all in vain for the beautiful belle to bring 
 hither her costly silks and rare laces, or for the 
 stately matron to display her brilliant jewels and 
 showy equipage, to win the admiration of the 
 world, for the world has something else to admire 
 at Niagara and fashion becomes too insignificant, 
 and frivolity too palpably absurd, to hold any sway 
 in this grand temple of Nature. 
 
 Even the man of genius, he who has carved his 
 name high up on the roll of fame and honor, feels 
 his own littleness and the pitiful weakness of human 
 ity as he stands face to face with the majesty of 
 Nature as revealed in Niagara. 
 
NIAGARA FALLS. 309 
 
 Here fashion, for once at least, must bend her 
 giddy head in reverence ; frivolity forget its jest, 
 and be awed into silence by the stupendous voice 
 of Nature. 
 
 While we are overwhelmed with the grandeur 
 and sublimity of the scene presented by this mighty 
 fall of waters, the heart is also thrilled with the 
 perception of infinite beauty. 
 
 One should come to look upon Niagara on these 
 beautiful September nights, when all the stars are 
 out in their glory, and the moon appears in the 
 heavens at the solemn hour of midnight and throws 
 her silvery beams athwart the white clouds of mist 
 arising from the falls. 
 
 O 
 
 Flooded with her radiance, the great mass of 
 waters rush on like streams of molten silver, while 
 weird, unearthly shapes flit in and out through the 
 floating mists, now gleaming in the moonlight, now 
 disappearing in the shadows. And up from the 
 -white clouds of foam beneath, arises the beautiful 
 lunar bow, gorgeous in color and describing a per 
 fect arch, as it shines resplendent through the thin 
 veil of mist which floats around it. Silent and 
 beautiful as the prophetic stars above, it greets the 
 astonished gaze of a mortal as though it were some 
 wandering angel of light sent to cheer with its soft 
 
310 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 effulgence the lost spirits who weep and wail, and 
 send up endless shrieks upon the night from the 
 dark, fathomless gulf below. 
 
 The lunar bow is visible only from Luna Island, 
 two or three nights during each month, when the 
 moon is at its full and sheds its light directly over 
 the American Fall. 
 
 Upon the left of Luna Island is Goat Island, 
 with its dark wood wrapped in mysterious shadows, 
 and beyond, the Three Sisters, now connected by a 
 bridge, which was almost as great a marvel in its 
 accomplishment, so rapid is the rush of water be 
 tween the islands, as the famous Suspension Bridge 
 below the Falls. Across the river the Canadian 
 shore looms dimly up in the darkness, and all is 
 hushed in the silence of the night, except the mo 
 notonous, steady roar of the cataract, which knows 
 no day, nor night, nor moment of rest or silence, 
 but leaps, and surges, and boils, as it rushes over the 
 fearful brink in a flow which goes on forever. 
 
 But if Niagara is beautiful at night, when reflect 
 ing the splendor of the stars, and bathed in the 
 witchery of moonlight, what shall be said of it as 
 revealed in the full splendor of the noonday sun ? 
 
 The golden glow of the sun crowns Niagara with, 
 a thousand new and wondrous glories. The mists 
 
NIAGARA FALLS. 311 
 
 wliich are ever soaring upward, Nature's pure in 
 cense to the sun, are now radiant with gold, and red, 
 and purple, and flashing with ever- varying rainbows. 
 These rainbows float in and out from the white 
 clouds of foam like spirits of the air with golden 
 wings. 
 
 Above the Tails are the Eapids which rush onward 
 in their mad career, sporting in frantic joy with the 
 bright sunbeams, flashing back their brilliancy, and 
 shimmering each into a thousand rays of light. 
 
 No one should leave Niagara without visiting the 
 Whirlpool Eapid, about a mile below the Falls. 
 Here it was that the staunch little steamer, the Maid 
 of the Mist, ran the gauntlet for liberty or con 
 fiscation, a few years ago. Many visitors to the 
 Falls will remember taking a hazardous trip in 
 this steamer, which was wont to venture far up into 
 the mist of the Horseshoe Fall ; but which was 
 finally attached by the sheriff for debt. But the 
 Maid of the Mist, which had already braved so many 
 dangers, was not to submit tamely to seizure for 
 debt, and her owners starred her on a voyage alone 
 down the Rapids. The utmost curiosity was evinced 
 in her ultimate fate, as she was hurried along by the 
 swift current. Upon reaching the whirlpool she 
 disappeared altogether from sight, and was given up 
 
312 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 for lost, when lo ! she suddenly emerged from the 
 seething vortex with only the loss of her smoke 
 stack, shook the angry waters from her spars and 
 cables, and sailed away as dauntless as ever, until 
 she reached the placid waters of Lake Ontario, 
 having crossed the Canadian line in safety, and thus 
 forever escaped the clutches of the American 
 sheriff. 
 
 A wooden building has been erected upon the bank 
 near the Whirlpool. Here you enter a car, which 
 carries you down a hundred and twenty feet below, to 
 a platform of the rocky ledge. From this you de 
 scend fifty feet further by means of wooden stairs, 
 and thus find yourself upon the brink of the river. 
 
 Upon either side the banks of solid rock rise 
 perpendicularly to the height of two hundred feet, 
 and between them rushes the vast volume of water 
 from the fall above, at the swift rate of twenty 
 miles an hour. The river is quite narrow here, 
 thus increasing the depth of the stream, and render 
 ing the mad struggles of the waters as they leap 
 tempestuously forward, foaming and writhing like a 
 torrent of angry demons all striving for mastery, 
 fearful to witness. 
 
 It is always a marvel to the beholder how a 
 steamer, or indeed any object whatever, could have 
 
NIAGARA FALLS. 313 
 
 passed through such waters, and have still lived. He- 
 gaining the road at the top of the precipice, we left 
 this troubled scene, and drove along the banks of 
 the river towards Lewiston and no prettier or more 
 romantic drive could be imagined than this. The 
 road winds in and out through deep forests and 
 beautiful groves, past pleasant meadows lying placid 
 in the sun upon either side, but never straying be 
 yond a view of the river. 
 
 At Lewiston you cross a light, airy-looking sus 
 pension bridge, which affords a magnificent view of 
 the stream as it comes hurrying down, and find 
 yourself upon the Canadian shore. A short drive 
 brings you to Queenstewn, where is the famous 
 monument erected to General Brock. To one who 
 has courage to climb the wearisome and seemingly 
 interminable steps of this monument they number 
 somewhere about five hundred a rare view is 
 afforded from the top. You look down upon the 
 blue waters of Lake Erie upon one side, and the 
 tranquil depths of Ontario on the other. The 
 waves of Erie are dancing in the sunlight, full of 
 life and glee ; while the silent waters of Ontario, 
 with scarcely a ripple upon their glassy surface, lie 
 like one vast unbroken sheet of light. Like these 
 
 waters in character are the little villages and towns 
 14 
 
314: SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 which are scattered over the country beneath you 
 whose dwellings look like mere specks in the distance, 
 and whose spires and domes appear but as ornaments 
 to toy-houses from the lofty height of the monu 
 ment. The American villages are full of life and 
 enterprise the inhabitants, fully imbued with the 
 national spirit of acquiring independence, by ac 
 quiring wealth while those towns upon the Canadian 
 side are as listless and antiquated as though they had 
 been flung down in the primitive days of the world, 
 and had stood still ever since, absorbed with wonder 
 at their own existence. 
 
 Every banquet is said to have its skeleton at the 
 board, and the feast of soul, and mind, and heart, at 
 Niagara Falls, is no exception to this fearful rule. 
 
 The spectre who haunts this otherwise charming 
 spot is a ghoul, who preys not upon the dead, but 
 far worse upon the living and his name is Fifty 
 Cents ! You cannot go a few rods from your tem 
 porary dwelling without being confronted by this 
 monster, and the stamp which bears his name is de 
 manded. 
 
 This is called a free country, but liberty in view 
 ing natural scenery . is wonderfully shackled at 
 Niagara. The fifty cents imposition of this place 
 has become world- wide. 
 
NIAGARA FALLS. 315 
 
 You cannot cross a bridge, go down into the 
 Devil's Hole, enter the Cave of the Winds, in fact 
 neither cross the river nor stay upon this side, with 
 out paying the inevitable fifty cents. The rapacity 
 of the hackmen here is too well known to be 
 worthy of mention. It seems as though there 
 might be some remedy afforded for this evil, that 
 every visitor should not fall a prey to these merce 
 naries. It is evident that there is a mania raging 
 among these people which only a surfeit of fifty- 
 cent notes can alleviate. 
 
 Visitors can reach the Canadian shore by means 
 of a ferryboat which crosses to that side. This 
 ferry is at the foot of a steep precipice, which you 
 decend by means of a car at the top of the brink, 
 which car being once put in motion rushes down 
 ward with the speed of the wind, fairly taking away 
 your breath with its velocity! 
 
 Arrived safely at the bottom you enter the ferry, 
 widen is a small boat plie.d with oars. The view 
 afforded while crossing the river is sublime beyond 
 description. 
 
 Pausing midway in the stream, you behold a sight 
 that, in grandeur and awful magnificence, no 
 other spot on earth can equal. Far above you 
 tower mountains of green w^ater all crested over 
 
316 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 with white foam glistening in the sunlight, and evok 
 ing shadows from out their own mysterious depths. 
 And there are billows of white, misty vapor, ever 
 rising and soaring upward, catching the sunbeams 
 as they go, and reflecting their roseate light in a 
 thousand brilliant-hued rainbows. 
 
 Where else does Nature smile upon her children 
 like this ? 
 
 The principal places of interest upon the Canada 
 side are the British Museum, Table Hock, and 
 Lundy's Lane, where, during the war of 1812, Gen 
 eral Scott first won his military laurels, and where 
 also be was severely wounded. 
 
 But the "Hero of Lundy's Lane" w r as not 
 destined to end his career thus early, as the history 
 of future years has so proudly shown, and Ameri 
 cans who stand upon the spot of Scott's youthful 
 glory, remember with pride the long category of 
 brave deeds which have formed the hero's crown, 
 and for which the victory of Lundy's Lane was but 
 the first prophetic sheaf. 
 
 The principal curiosity in the Museum is the 
 skeleton of the Mastodon. There is also the huge 
 frame of a whale, w r hich never fails to astonish the 
 little folks. 
 
 Niagara, once seen, is never to be forgotten, and 
 
NIAGARA FALLS. 317 
 
 the greater the number of times a person visits the 
 Falls, the better will he appreciate them. At the 
 first view, Niagara overwhelms us with its vastness 
 and terrible majesty. A flood of new and strange 
 sensations sweeps over ns, and we lose all power to 
 analyze them. Only the littleness, the insignifi 
 cance of man appears before this stupendous master 
 piece of Nature. People are as pigmies, and 
 their dwellings seem so perishable beside the ever 
 lasting Falls, that it appears mere vanity to build 
 them ; indeed, houses built with hands are incongru 
 ous with this scene. The people of Niagara should 
 live and worship in groves, as did the ancients, or 
 build rustic abodes, which should seem a part of 
 Nature. If there is one place upon this earth better 
 fitted than all others to awaken the sense of the 
 truly sublime in man's soul, that place is surely 
 Niagara. 
 
XLIII. 
 
 BKASS BUTTONS. 
 
 WE are on our " Homeward March," but, allured 
 by the sound of the fife and drum, and out of 
 compliment to the young glory-hunters who have 
 their quarters there, we have stopped for a few days 
 at West Point. Rataplan ! Rataplan ! Rataplan ! 
 Who does not like the sound of the drum ! Now if 
 West Point would only throw open its doors 
 hospitably to all spirited young ladies who have a 
 thirst for glory, a passion for laurel leaves, and all 
 that sort of thing, how many belles would turn 
 cadets at once ! For what, I should like to know, 
 is so fascinating as a handsome youth, in a gray 
 coat with gilt buttons, and on his head the dark blue 
 cap which he wears so saucily d la militaire. It is 
 a great mystery to me that, with all the clamoring 
 for woman's rights which has agitated society during 
 the past few years, no fair hands have yet been 
 heard tapping for admission at the gates of West 
 Point. 
 
 I have a mind to beat a loud reveille in Uncle 
 
BRASS BUTTONS. 319 
 
 Sam's ears myself, to awaken him to the fact that 
 he has an army of daughters as well as sons to be 
 provided for. 
 
 Have we not had any number of notable examples 
 of feminine soldiers who have won the undying 
 crown of fame by their bravery and their enthusi 
 astic devotion to the cause in which they were en 
 gaged ? 
 
 There was the valiant and beautiful Clorinda, of 
 whom Tasso sang in his " Jerusalem Delivered ; *' 
 there was Joan of Arc, the inspired girl who led 
 whole armies on to battle, filling their hearts with 
 her -own enthusiasm; and, coming down to later 
 times, there was Sally St. Clair, who fought bravely 
 by the side of her lover all through the Revolution. 
 
 Just think what splendid officers might be made 
 of some of the pretty girls who are rusticating here ! 
 What soldier would ever think of deserting, or what 
 mutiny would break out in the ranks, if a charming 
 young lady like Cousin Madge, dressed in a short 
 frock of blue cloth trimmed with gold lace and gilt 
 buttons, with a little cap placed d la militaire above 
 her glossy tresses and worn with a defiant air, should 
 assume command ? And then what a saving of 
 rations there would be to Uncle Sam, if all the 
 soldiers, rank and file, were to fall in love with their 
 
320 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 pretty commander, for people in love are so apt to 
 lose their appetites ! 
 
 Here is an idea worthy of consideration by politi 
 cal economists. 
 
 Fitz Hugh doesn't seem to have a decided pen 
 chant for the West Point cadets, probably because 
 Madge and I have. Fitz Hugh remarks, sarcasti 
 cally, that " any monkey dressed in uniform would 
 captivate a woman's heart, if he assumed the airs 
 and graces of these cadets." 
 
 But then the poor fellow is growing rather cynical 
 of late, and what he says is not always to be relied 
 upon. I think two or three seasons at Saratoga 
 have spoiled him. He has lost his first belief in the 
 perfection of the fairer sex from seeing so much 
 of the artificial and false among them and now 
 goes quite to the other extreme, and pronounces 
 them all deceitful. 
 
 However, he has grace enough to except the ladies 
 of his own party. 
 
 But, Fitz Hugh notwithstanding, the West Point 
 cadet is a splendid fellow. His physique must be 
 unexceptionable ; he is tall, broad-shouldered, strong 
 as a young lion, and knows 110 fear. He is inured 
 to every hardship. Wrapped in his blanket, he 
 sleeps as soundly upon the cold bosom of Mother 
 
BE ASS BUTTONS. 321 
 
 Earth, with the whispering winds sweeping over him 
 and the far-off stars keeping faithful watch, as 
 though he rested upon a bed of down. And who 
 guesses the sweet dreams and loving fancies which 
 hover around the hard pillow of the young cadet 
 through the long vigils of the lonely night ? 
 
 As the physical condition of the cadet must be 
 excellent, so his intellect must be keen and bright 
 the history of all nations must be as familiar to him" 
 as nursery tales. He must be able to grasp the most 
 subtle questions with quickness and ability. He 
 must train his mind to rapidity of action as well as 
 his body. He knows that, in all probability, the day 
 will come when with the eyes of all the world upon 
 him, he will be required to plan the most daring 
 schemes quickly ; and without the slightest loss of 
 time, to act with rapidity of movement, coolness, and 
 unflinching bravery. He who stands the test when 
 it comes is sure to cover his name with glory, while 
 he who fails is as surely buried in ignominy. It's 
 all useless for Fitz Hugh to sneer at the West Point 
 cadet, for he is a glorious youth, and his greatest 
 attractions are not his gray coat and gilt buttons. 
 
 At least Cousin Madge thinks so, for she has half 
 lost her heart to that handsome young Achilles, who 
 14* 
 
322 SPARKLES FROM SAKATOGA. 
 
 is this moment bending over her and whispering 
 compliments in the most approved manner. 
 
 Ah, well ! " Only the brave deserve the fair ! " 
 The scenery around ^West Point is unsur 
 passed. The sublimity and loveliness of Nature 
 meet your eye, turn wherever you will. Lofty peaks, 
 which lift their heads proudly far above the clouds ; 
 green valleys which lie tranquilly, like one sleeping 
 softly half draped in sunshine, half in shadow; 
 and the broad, blue river which mirrors the infinite 
 depths of the sky, reflects the majestic moun 
 tains and verdure-clad hills, the quaint castles 
 perched far up among the rocks and trees, the little 
 sequestered cottages which nestle near the shore, 
 and then rushes swiftly on to whisper to the sea the 
 story of all this loveliness. 
 
 If the scenery of the Hudson is grand and beau 
 tiful in the broad light of the sunshine, what shall 
 be said of it on a clear moonlight night ? Is there 
 any picture in poetry or in art which can equal this 
 beautiful dream of Nature ? The moonlight casts a 
 glow of beauty over the most commonplace objects ; 
 but when the magnificent scenery of the Hudson is 
 bathed in its silvery light, when all the wizard 
 charm of the night is cast like a spell over these 
 rocks and hills, what poet's pen or artist's pencil 
 
BRASS BUTTONS. 323 
 
 could faithfully reproduce the picture ? No wonder 
 that marvellous legends, and tales which blanch the 
 cheek of the listener and send the heart-blood 
 quicker through the veins, cling to these shores, for 
 if ever wild romance and poetry had a fitting home 
 on earth, it is here. 
 
 One can easily fancy the spectres and goblins 
 which haunt the Dunderberg to be no mere dream ; 
 can see the weird spirits which float and hover 
 around old Crow's Nest, or cluster in myriads upon 
 holy Saint Anthony's Nose. And then the white 
 shadows which haunt the dark glens and vales, and 
 which the moonlight brings to view, seem like white- 
 robed spirits ; and the mists which float along the 
 shore, just at the edge of the river and at the foot 
 of the dark mountains, appear like airy barques 
 awaiting to carry these unknown visitants of earth 
 back to the spirit-land. 
 
 Ah, well, if one should linger too long amid these 
 delightful haunts, the garb of romance would so 
 enwrap him that the everyday world would seem 
 too cold and prosaic to live in. 
 
 The only thing which enables Madge and I to 
 maintain our equilibrium, and prevents us from 
 floating away among the clouds, is the gray coats 
 and brass buttons which flutter around us. Besides, 
 
324: SPAKKLES FllOM SARATOGA. 
 
 it is so amusing to notice Fitz Hugh's uneasiness 
 and Aunt Prim's increased vigilance. 
 
 Every morning at eight o'clock the inspiring sound 
 of the drum summons us hastily from our looking- 
 glasses, with flying ribbons and half -brushed tresses, 
 to witness the " Guard mount ; " and then these war 
 like youths, evidently forgetting their soft good-nights 
 of the previous evening, salute us with the thunder 
 of cannon, and the sound reverberates from peak to 
 peak and dies away amid the mysterious distances of 
 the mountains. 
 
 Madge was inclined at first to pout a little at this 
 reception, and declared that " Charles Augustus 
 wished her a curious good-morning ! " Aunt Prim 
 finds the noise of cannon and guns uncongenial to 
 her sensitive nerves, and vows that it is a shame for 
 the government to waste so much powder and shot 
 in times of peace ! Aunt Prim would be invaluable 
 as a political economist ! 
 
 After the parade we have breakf ast, and speaking 
 of breakfast reminds me of something I saw this 
 morning, and this was the spasmodic efforts of a 
 lady to sever the delicate meat from the wing of a 
 broiled chicken. 
 
 " To be or not to be," is a question, doubtless, of 
 momentous importance, but whether it is en regie 
 
BRASS BUTTONS. 325 
 
 to pick a chicken bone in one's fingers or to perform 
 that operation with the crnel knife, is also a matter 
 to be carefully debated. There is valuable authority 
 to be quoted in favor of each method, and disquisi 
 tions both amusing and instructive upon the subject 
 to be conned. 
 
 Soyer, the illustrious French cook, never prepared 
 a banquet but he provided also a great number of 
 small birds expressly for the ladies to pick the little 
 bones with their fingers. Never, he said, was a lady 
 so attractive as when holding the delicate wing of a 
 bird in her dainty white fingers, and ever and anon 
 wiping her rose-bud mouth with the snowy napkin. 
 
 Now Soyer catered to the tastes of the most aris 
 tocratic people in the land, and may be accepted as 
 good authority upon the etiquette of the table. 
 
 But against the great French cook, we have 
 the illustrious English poet Byron, who declared 
 that he never wished to see a lady eat. Byron 
 would doubtless have fed his inamorata upon honey- 
 dew and nightingales' tongues, and but sparingly 
 at that. What would he have said had he seen her 
 picking the bone of a defunct chicken in her fin 
 gers ? Unfortunately, we of the " weaker sex " are 
 not yet quite angelic enough to subsist entirely upon 
 love and nightingales' tongues, and although Byron 
 
326 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 may be admirable authority for moonlight nights, 
 Soyer is infinitely to be preferred for breakfast. 
 So I thought this morning at the table, and I felt 
 very much like remarking to the lady who was 
 making her matin meal evidently in great awe of 
 the sable waiters and the observant strangers : 
 
 "My dear Madam take courage! Cease your 
 frantic endeavors with the knife upon that miserable 
 fowl and follow Soyer's advice." But as I had 
 some little hesitancy in speaking thus to a perfect 
 stranger, and remembering that example was always 
 better than precept, I boldly lifted a chicken's wing 
 in my fingers d la Soyer. 
 
 In defence of my "line of conduct," I quoted 
 Soyer in a subdued tone of voice, but Fitz Hugh 
 annihilated me instantly with Byron, and with, more 
 over, a Byronic scene ! Oh, dear, I haven't relished 
 a breakfast since ; I think this contretemps gave 
 me a fit of dyspepsia, and Madge says I'm growing 
 thin ! 
 
 But I've had my revenge on Fitz Hugh. These 
 splendid moonlight nights are especially calculated 
 for flirtations, and it would be such a sin not to 
 improve them ! 
 
 The hops and balls given by the cadets are all 
 over, but there are moonlight strolls and pleasant 
 
BRASS BUTTONS. 327 
 
 walks under" the trees to be enjoyed, with only the 
 stars looking down upon you dancing in the parlor 
 or promenading on the piazza, and all this with some 
 tall, broad-shouldered youth in uniform, who may 
 some day be a brigadier-general, or a hero with the 
 fadeless wreath of glory upon his brow ! . 
 
 What these poor cadets do when the cold winter 
 comes, when they are left in utter solitude to delve 
 among their books, and in the long evenings to smoke 
 their cigars beside the fire in loneliness when all the 
 gay crowd which throngs here during the summer 
 months is gone, and there are only memories left of 
 the sweet faces, bright eyes and silvery voices which 
 gladdened their hearts for a little while, and then 
 vanished only to leave a painful void how they 
 console themselves passes my comprehension. 
 
 We suggested the propriety of leaving Aunt Prim 
 at West Point this winter what a belle she would 
 be ! And I am sure she wpuld not desert her post, 
 if she once accepted it, for she is an excellent person 
 to be placed " on guard " at least, Madge and I find 
 her so. 
 
 There are a great number of delightful drives 
 around West Point. One of the pleasantest is that 
 which leads to Cornwall. The scenery is charm 
 ing ; the road winding now along by the water's 
 
328 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 edge, now through shaded woods, and again through 
 long avenues of cedars. Yesterday we drove to 
 Fort Montgomery, a distance of five miles, and in 
 dulged anew in revolutionary reminiscences. And, 
 at the charming hour of sunset, we took a long walk 
 to Fort Putnam, to behold the river from its heights. 
 A scene of surpassing grandeur rewarded us, for the 
 sun went down in a sea of golden glory, flooding 
 the sky with crimson and yellow clouds, which 
 floated far above the river and cast their rich glow 
 over its waters. And, between two lofty peaks 
 that loomed up on opposite sides of the stream, 
 stretched a narrow strip of tinted cloud which 
 seemed like a fairy bridge over which the immortals 
 were passing. 
 
 Why should our artists seek in foreign lands 
 beyond the seas for scenes to inspire their pencils ? 
 
 Here may they drink in Nature's loveliness, even 
 to intoxication of heart and soul. 
 
 And when the Great Artist has touched our native 
 land with the softening pencil of Time, what other 
 realm beneath the sun shall equal it in beauty ? 
 It needs only the ripening maturity which years will 
 bring ; the clustering associations and endearing 
 memories which shall encircle every spot and make 
 of it all " hallowed ground." 
 
BRASS BUTTONS. 329 
 
 No better place could have been selected for a 
 military academy than amid these scenes of loveli 
 ness on the banks of the noble Hudson, for what 
 patriotic heart could fail to be fired with enthusiastic 
 ardor, if called upon to defend, or die for, such a 
 country ? 
 
 We cannot help looking regretfully at the steam 
 ers which pass us going down the river for we know 
 that we must follow soon. Even the river itself 
 seems to call us with its pleasant murmur, as though 
 longing to waft us homeward. 
 
XLIV. 
 
 " EYES EIGHT ! " 
 
 WHAT disciplinarians they are at West Point. If 
 ever any place of education turned out immaculate 
 youth, finished to the last degree of perfection, 
 surely that place ought to be our military academy. 
 
 It would be rather dangerous to marry one of 
 those cadets ; one would be expected to draw every 
 breath by rule. 
 
 Punctuality at breakfast would be indispensable 
 no curl-papers allowed there, either and dinner 
 would have to be in readiness at the dinner hour, 
 sJiarp. In fact, it would be "file right," and "file 
 left " all day long, until one would feel inclined to 
 break through regulations altogether, to rob all 
 smashable things of their geometrical proportions, 
 and to send gilt buttons, shoulder-straps, and all 
 other military " traps " flying out of the window. 
 
 A West Point cadet is expected to pay such mi 
 nute attention to every trivial matter, that the only 
 wonder is how he manages at all to fill his mind 
 with subjects of vaster importance. Here an unfort- 
 
" EYES RIGHT ! " 331 
 
 unate cadet is "reported" for being thirty seconds 
 late for breakfast. Only half a minute ! think of it, 
 ye youths and maidens who spend hours in dressing 
 for dinner! Another poor fellow is censured for 
 leaving two buttons of his coat unfastened, another 
 
 O ' 
 
 for wearing his hat-band awry, and another for 
 turning his eyes for the space of a second in the 
 wrong direction. What a good thing it would be to 
 send some of our New Yorkers to West Point for 
 awhile, that their eyes might be trained to a becom 
 ing sense of propriety, this branch of their education 
 seems to have been so wof ully neglected. 
 
 I wish all the old gentlemen, the middle-aged 
 men, and the young addlepates also, we meet on 
 the cars, in the stages, or on the pavement, had been 
 taught to keep their eyes in a proper direction. 
 The way in which New York people stare, is partic 
 ularly remarked by every stranger. In no place 
 upon this side of the Atlantic does one have to encoun 
 ter such a formidable battery of eyes as in our own 
 city. A young lady enters a street car. If, unluck 
 ily, she happens to be the only lady in the car, im 
 mediately the twelve masculines seated opposite 
 seem to devour her with glances. Twenty-four eyes 
 are remorselessly levelled at her ; although these 
 twelve gentlemen are supposed to be reading their 
 
332 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 evening papers. But, somehow or other, the twenty- 
 four eyes manage to peep out from either side, or 
 over the top of the paper, or long glances are stolen 
 from behind it. Meanwhile, these would-be wise 
 acres hold the paper aloft, as though they were all 
 absorbed in the affairs of the nation, or thrilled with 
 interest at the latest news from the seat of war. 
 
 Bah ! stocks and bonds, government securities or 
 national loans, peace or war, politics, religion, or. 
 murder all of which are crowded into the columns 
 of a daily paper are insufficient to absorb the at 
 tention of the lords of creation if a pretty woman 
 happens to come in their way. I repeat that eyes 
 should be trained to mind their own affairs, and not 
 to annoy other people. Since only a certain limit is 
 allowed to the tongue, why should not a restriction 
 be also placed upon the still more eloquent language 
 of the eyes ? 
 
 And how does the young lady enjoy the indiscrim 
 inate attention she receives from behind the twelve 
 newspapers ? 
 
 If she be a city belle, she is used to the strange 
 ways of New Yorkers, and her face assumes a look 
 of the utmost sang froid. Her glances are bent 
 neither to the right nor left, but directly be 
 fore her, and she is no more disconcerted than 
 
" EYES EIGHT ! " 333 
 
 she would be at home in her boudoir. But if she 
 chances to be a country maiden, and not accus 
 tomed to city impudence, she is easily embarrassed, 
 and wonders what can be the matter that everybody 
 is looking at her. She fancies that her costume is 
 in some way disarranged ; that perhaps her hair 
 pins are falling out, her collar is unfastened, or her 
 hat is put on " one-sided," people do stare so ! 
 But no, nothing is the matter, except that these 
 starers have never been taught to keep their eyes in 
 the right direction. 
 
XLV. 
 
 FABEWELL. 
 
 ALTHOUGH the season is late there are some three 
 or four hundred people still at West Point people 
 of wealth, culture, and refinement whom it is a 
 pleasure to meet and to know very little shoddy, 
 very little affectation, a scarcity of the Saratoga 
 wriggle, and even the " Boston dip " seems to lack 
 popularity. Have I alluded to the " dip " particu 
 larly ? I think not ; and, supposing your curiosity 
 to be on the qui vive, I will endeavor to explain. 
 Imagine Fitz Hugh and Madge floating gracefully 
 through the divine redowa. The music swells, and 
 then dies away to softer tones ; then rises buoyantly 
 again, and Madge and Fitz Hugh float with the music. 
 When this is loud, the dancers stand upright ; when 
 it sinks to softness, they bend almost to the floor just 
 like two barques floating upon a sea of melody, and 
 rising or falling with its waves. And this is the 
 " Boston dip." But while dancing it, Madge has 
 very much the appearance of being afflicted with 
 fainting spells, while Fitz Hugh seems tenderly to 
 
FAKEWELL. 335 
 
 support her! Now when things become personal 
 they are sometimes unpleasant, and I have therefore 
 discouraged the " dip." So has Aunt Prim. 
 
 What new freak Dame Fashion will launch upon 
 society next season it would be hard to conjecture, 
 but we do hope that the Saratoga wriggle and the 
 " Boston dip " will have had their day and have for 
 ever disappeared. 
 
 We were quite enlivened to-day by the arrival of 
 the Widow Dash from Saratoga. Allured by the 
 sound of the drums, as well as the other numerous 
 fascinations which cluster here, the fair widow has 
 alighted like a sunbeam in our midst. 
 
 She came, she saw, she conquered ! Already the 
 charms of lovely maidens and sweet-faced, youthful 
 matrons are sinking into insignificance before the 
 bewilderments of this widowed enchantress. 
 
 Talk about the stupidity of the poor butterfly 
 allured by the flame ! Butterflies are angels of 
 reason compared to these foolish men. The Widow 
 Dash gives an adorer but one look, and he is con 
 quered immediately, just as much as though a bullet 
 had pierced his heart. She twists every man who ap 
 proaches her around her little finger in the twinkling 
 of an eye, and while the poor simpleton imagines he 
 is gaining grace in her favor, he is only becoming 
 
 
336 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 < 
 
 hopelessly entangled himself, while the artful widow 
 is laughing at him in her sleeve. 
 
 There goes a curious-looking couple -down the 
 piazza as I write a tall, middle-aged lady, hand 
 somely dressed, and carrying a pet dog under her 
 arm. 
 
 Beside her walks the smallest and most insignifi 
 cant-looking man imaginable. Some little men have 
 great souls, but the soul of this man could be easily 
 balanced on the point of a No. 10 needle. 
 
 And what I should like to know is, that when a 
 woman has a puppy for a husband, why does she 
 burden herself with an additional cur in the form of 
 a lap-dog ? 
 
 Now, if tyranny ever displayed itself upon a human 
 face, then does every feature of this petty-sized, petty- 
 souled man indicate that he is a domestic tyrant, and 
 that his wife, who is evidently his superior in every 
 thing, has been a perfect slave to his every caprice. 
 As she is head and shoulders above him, I have 
 thought of suggesting to the poor lady that when her 
 lord and master did not conduct himself properly, it 
 might be a good idea to lift him off from his feet by 
 the hair of his head, and then give him a gentle 
 shaking. But, upon closer examination, I have 
 discovered that the little man wears a wig. Now 
 
FAREWELL. 337 
 
 what is to be done under such circumstances ? I 
 once read of a woman who had a dwarf for a hus 
 band, and when he didn't behave himself she stood 
 him upon a high shelf, and kept him there until he 
 promised to be good. I think that lady upon the 
 piazza might profit by this example, only she ought 
 to place her husband upon a shelf so high that he 
 would never come down. 
 
 There is no resource left to this poor wife but to 
 join the Sorosis and plead upon the platform for 
 her rights for rights, I am sure, she never had. 
 
 But she has not spirit enough for this, and tamely 
 submits to her destiny consoling herself meanwhile 
 with her lap-dog. Probably she estimates that it 
 takes two puppies to make a man. 
 
 According to my calculation it would take half a 
 dozen such men as her husband to make one good- 
 sized, lovable, respectable man. And then he 
 would have to be moulded out of " better clay " at 
 that. 
 
 Madge sits by the window, humming : 
 
 " If I had a little husband no bigger than my thumb," 
 
 at the sound of which Aunt Prim looks up serenely, 
 and advises Madge to think of something else beside 
 
 husbands. Madge laughs and saucily replies : " Oh, 
 15 
 
338 SPARKLES FROM SARATOGA. 
 
 dear, auntie, I wasn't thinking of husbands only 
 of bachelors." 
 
 Aunt Prim took this as a personal affront, as 
 referring to poor Bachelor Grumpy, and darted 
 lightning flashes at poor Madge from behind her 
 spectacles ; then giving her flounces a terrible shake, 
 she rushed from the room. 
 
 That Madge is a dreadful girl ! Aunt Prim feels 
 so sorry for poor Grumpy because he has no one to 
 keep his buttons in order. But what's the use of 
 wasting pity on a man ? 
 
 Madge doesn't mind Aunt Prim's wrath, and rubs 
 her little hands gleefully, for now she can carry on 
 a desperate flirtation w r ith that handsome Colonel 
 who is riding over the green, with no spectacled 
 eyes gazing horribly at her. Madge often remarks 
 demurely that she hopes Aunt Prim will get mar 
 ried before next summer, to which I devoutly add 
 Amen ! It is enough to break one's heart to think 
 of bidding adieu to West Point. But the fates are 
 irrevocable, and to-morrow morning will be sad with 
 our farewells. No more delightful drives no more 
 charming walks no more romancing in the moon 
 light here, where all Nature is romantic, and where 
 every hour inspires us with delight and enthusiasm. 
 The eye never wearies of gazing upon those distant 
 
FAREWELL. 339 
 
 mountains which rise so proudly to the sky, upon the 
 green smiling vales where only happiness seems to 
 dwell, and upon the broad blue river, which flows 
 majestically along, as though conscious of all the 
 loveliness which throngs its shores. The glowing 
 kiss of autumn has turned the crimson leaves to 
 golden ; the sky is beautifully, serenely blue ; and 
 every night the great round moon comes slowly up 
 behind the hills and flings a golden radiance over 
 all. 
 
 Alas ! how few there are who open their hearts, 
 and dwell with a lover's eye upon the beautiful 
 which lies everywhere around us ! 
 
 In the halls of memory, where hang pictures of 
 the unforgotten, the lovely scenes of West Point 
 will have an honored place, and will shine out 
 brightly, never to be hidden by the shadowy mists 
 of the past. And when we are safely bivouacked 
 in winter quarters, the sound of the drum, the 
 morning parade, the brilliant cavalry charge, the 
 thundering of artillery pealing from crag to crag, 
 and the manly forms and pleasant faces of the 
 cadets, will all come back to us, not like a dream 
 but as a vivid reality. 
 
 And so we bid farewell to its pleasant scenes ; to 
 
34:0 6PAKKLES KROM SARATOGA. 
 
 its summer hours of sunlight, when the birds sang 
 and the flowers bloomed ; when every hour yielded 
 some new pleasure, and every day left a pleasant 
 memory to link it to the past. 
 
 When I remember all 
 
 The friends so linked together, 
 I've seen around me fall, 
 Like leaves in wintry weather, 
 
 I feel like one 
 
 Who treads alone 
 Some banquet-hall deserted, 
 
 Whose lights are fled, 
 
 Whose garlands dead, 
 And all but I departed. MooBE. 
 
 THE END. 
 
THIS BOOK IS DUE ON THE LAST DATE 
 STAMPED BELOW 
 
 RENEWED BOOKS ARE SUBJECT TO IMMEDIATE 
 RECALL 
 
 DUE OCT 6 1969 
 
 DU /\PR2 1970 
 
 LIBRARY, UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, DAV' r 
 
 Book Slip-70m-9,'65(F7151s4, 
 
N 423973 
 
 PS1924 
 Hicks, J.E. H73 
 
 Sparkles from S7 
 Saratoga. 
 
 LIBRARY 
 
 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA 
 DAVIS