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 AUTHORIZED* COPYRIGHT EDITIO»^. 
 
 THEl-PIKT^^ES 
 
 -OF- 
 
 
 Ise/NZKyN 
 
 
 ut-,y y 
 
 -OR- 
 
 * . The Slave of Duty. 
 
 lit 
 
 czcD'^^icz CDr=>E:F?j^. 
 
 '' *■ , ^ C""' 
 
 -BY- 
 
 S I 
 
 ¥.S GILBERT and ARTHUR SULLllM.. 
 
 Authors of " Pin afore,", etc., etc. '7^^' v 
 
 Z^-'" IN TWO ACTS.- ■ ■^"ff;:^- " 
 COMPLETE LIBRETTO^ 
 
 Price, 25 Cents. 
 
 
 ^^,^ ' . NEW mRti, 
 
 HITCHCOCIC -PlTB"LTSHprG. ZOMJPKKY, 
 ^^^^ zT, -. 49 EIGHTH AVENUfi'^Sl^ 
 
 TO BE MAD ALSO AT 35 ANN STREET 
 
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 L. ■^"f^JK.'Mir^rSi^iC'^''
 
 AUTHORIZED COPYRIGHT EDITION. 
 
 THE PIRATES 
 
 -OF- 
 
 •pE/NZA/NeE 
 
 -OR 
 
 The Slave of Duty. 
 
 dCDiviic: cdi=^e:p=?^2^. 
 
 BY 
 
 W.S.aiLBERT AND ARTHUR SULLIVAK 
 
 Authors of "Pinafore," etc., etc. 
 
 IN TWO ACTS. 
 COMPLETE LIBRETTO, 
 
 Price, ofc Cents. 
 
 NEW YORK; 
 HITCHCOCK PT^niJSHTXG COMPANY, 
 49 EIGHTH AVENUE 
 
 TO BE HAD ALSO AT 25 ANN STREET
 
 The Pirates of Penzance 
 
 OR, 
 
 Written Ij W. S. GILBERT. Composed by ARTHTJE SULLIVAN, 
 
 DRAMATIS PERSONVE, 
 
 As first nroduced at the Fifth Avenue Theatre, Xew York, uuder the managenieut 
 of Mr. R. D'Oyly Carte, Wednesday, Dec. 31. 1879. 
 
 Richard, a Pirato Chief, Mr. Bkocolini. 
 
 Samuel, his Lieutenant Mr.FuKNEAiTX Cook. 
 
 Fkedeeic, a Pirate Apprentice Mr. Hugh Talbot. 
 
 Majoe-Genekal Stanley, of the British 
 
 Army Mr. J. H. Kyley. 
 
 Edwakd, a Serjifeant of Polirc . .... Mr. F. Clifton. 
 
 Mabel, Oeneral Stanley'.s Youngest 
 
 Daughter Miss Blanche Roosevelt. 
 
 Kate, 1 <i*^ f Miss R. Bkandram. 
 
 Edith, | Gen3ral Stanley's Daughters . ■{ Miss Jessie Bond. 
 Isabel, J [ Miss Baelow. 
 
 Ruth a Piraiical "Maid-ol'-all-work'" . . Miss ALKUi Baenetv. 
 General Stanh-y's Daugliters, Pirates, Policemen, etc. 
 
 SCB.TSIB. 
 Act iST. — A hociiij Sia^iiiore on liie Coa><i oi tonitnul, EiKjhuid 
 Act 2d.— a Ruined Chapel on General Stanley's Estate
 
 I'HE PIRATES OF PliiNZANOfc; 
 
 OK, 
 
 Scene. — A rocky sea-shore on the coast of Corniva//. P.'c'ci I. 
 slaping down to L. C. of stage. Under these rocks is a cavtr.i, 
 the entrance to which is seen at first entrance L. A natural nrrJi 
 of rock occiqnes the li. C. of the stage. In the distance is a cants 
 sea, on which a schooner is lying at anchor. 
 
 As the curtain rises groups of Pirates are discovered, xorue drink- 
 ing, some phiying cur-is. Sa:\iiji:i-, the Pirate Lieutenant, w 
 goi)ig from one group to anotJter, filling the cups from a fi-xsk 
 Fredekic is seated in a despondent attitude id ine duck of i/w 
 viene, G. Ruth kneels at his feet. 
 
 Opening Chorus. 
 i'our, oh pour the pirate sherry! 
 
 Fill, oh fill the pirate ghiss ! 
 And, to make us more tlian merry, 
 
 Let the pirate bumper pass. 
 
 Solo. — Sa.aiuel. 
 For to-day our pirate '])reiitice 
 
 Rises from indentures freed. 
 Strong his arm and keen his scent I"; 
 
 He's a pirate now indeed ! 
 
 All. 
 Here's good luck to Frederic's vent'jr.t. '. 
 Frederic's out of his indentures! 
 
 Solo. — Samuel. 
 Two-and-twenty, now lie's r'«">,i,;. 
 
 And alone he's tit to fly ; 
 Which we're bent on signalizing" 
 
 With unusual revelry. 
 
 All. 
 Here's good luck to Frederic's ventures •. 
 Frederic's out of his indentures. 
 
 So pour, oh ])our the pirate sherry, etc. 
 
 592816
 
 FRKDii:urc rues and comes forward xvUh Pirate Kino, who euterx 
 from R. U. E.) 
 
 KiMG. Yes, Frederic, from to-day you rauk as a full-blown 
 member of our baud. 
 
 All. Hurrah j 
 
 Fredekic. My frieuds, I thank you all, from my heart, for 
 ••.'our kindly Avislies. Would that 1 could repay them as they 
 1 ('serve ! 
 
 King. What do you mean? 
 
 Fred. To-day I am out of my indentures, and to-day I leave 
 vou for ever. 
 
 All. Leave us? 
 
 Fred. For ever ! 
 
 King. But this is quite unuccouii table. A keener hand ai 
 ricuttlijig a Cunarder or cutting out a White Star never shipped 
 a hands})ike. 
 
 FuED. Yes, I have dune my best for you. And why? It \va« 
 my duty under my indentures, and I am the slave of duty. As 
 a child I Wixs regularly apprenticed to your band. It was through 
 an error. No matter, the mistake was ours, not yours, and I was 
 in honor bound by it. 
 
 Samuel. An error ? What error ? 
 
 Fred. I may not tell you. It would reflect upon my well- 
 loved Ruth. 
 
 (Ruth comes down G.) 
 
 RuTU. Nay, dear master, my mind has long been gnawed by 
 ihe cankering tooth of mj'^stery. Better have it out at once. 
 
 Song. — Ruth. 
 
 When Frederic was a little lad he proved so brave and daring 
 Mis father thought he'd 'prentice him to some career seafaring. 
 I was, alas ! his nursery-maid, and so it fell to my lot 
 I'o take and bind this promising boy a|)prentice to a pilot. 
 A life not bad for a hardy lad, though certainly not a high 
 
 lot; 
 Though I'm a nurse, you might do worse than. make your boj 
 a pilot. 
 
 I was a stupid nurs*" ry-maid, on breakers always steering, 
 
 And I did not ca.,ch the word aright, through being hard oj 
 
 hearing. 
 Mistaking my instructions, which within my brain did c/j/rate. 
 I took and bound this promising boy api)rentice to a pirate. 
 
 A sad mistake it was to make, and (h)om him to a vile lot . 
 
 I bound him to a pirate — you — instead of to a pilot!
 
 6 
 
 I soon found out, beyond all doubt, the scope of this disaster ; 
 But I hadn't the face to return to uiy place and break it to mj 
 
 master, 
 A. nursery-maid is never afraid of what you people call work, 
 80 I made up my mind to go as a kind of piratical nmid-of-all- 
 work ; 
 And that is how you find me now a member of your shy lot, 
 Which you wouldn't have found had he been bound appreD- 
 tice to a pilot. 
 
 Ruth. {Kneeling at his feet.) Oh pardon, Frederic ! i)ardou 1 
 
 Fred. Rise, sweet one ; I have long pardoned you. 
 
 (Ruth rises.) 
 
 Ruth. The two words were so much alike ! 
 
 Fred. They still are, though years have rolled over their 
 heads! (Ruth groes t<^ wi</i Samuel.) But this afternoon my 
 obligation ceases. Individually, I love you all with aflection 
 unspeakable ; but collectively, I look upon you with a disgust 
 that amounts to absolute detestation. Oh pity me, my beloved 
 friends, for such is my sense of duty that once out of my inden- 
 tures I shall feel myself bound to devote myself, heart and soul, 
 to your extermination. 
 
 All. Poor lad ! poor lad ! {All weep.) 
 
 King. Well, Frederic, if you conscientiously feel that it is 
 your duty to destroy us, we cannot blame you for acting on that 
 conviction. Always act in accordance with the dictates of your 
 conscience, my boy, and chance the consequences. 
 
 Samuel. Besides, we can offer you but little temptation to 
 remain witii us. We don't seem to make piracy pay. I'm sure 
 I don't know why, but we don't. 
 
 Fred. I know why, but, alas ! I mustn't tell you : it wouldn't 
 be right. 
 
 KiNc. Why not, my boy ? It's only half-past eleven, and 
 you are one of us until the clock strikes twelve. 
 
 Sam. True, and until then you are bound to protect our in- 
 terests. 
 
 All. Hear! hear! 
 
 Fred. Well, then, it is my duty as a pirate to tell you that 
 you are too tender-hearted. For instance, you make a point of 
 never attacking a weaker i)arty than yourselves, and wlien you 
 attack a stronger i)arty you invariably get thnished. 
 
 King. Tiiere is some truth in that. 
 
 Fred. Then, again, you make a point of never moleatiug an 
 orphan. 
 
 Sam. Oi' course: we are orpiians ourselves, and know whfci 
 it ib.
 
 6 
 
 Fkkd. Yes, but it has got about, and what is the consequence? 
 Every one we capture says he's an orphan. The hist three ships 
 we took proved to be manned entirely by orphans, and so we 
 liad to let 'em go. One would think that Great Britain's mer- 
 cantile navy was recruited solely from her orphan a-^yhims, which 
 we know is not the case. {Crosses E.) 
 
 Sam. But, hang it all ! you wouldn't have an absolutely 
 merciless ? 
 
 Fred. There's my difficulty. Until twelve o'clock I would : 
 after twelve o'clock I wouldn't. Was ever a man placed in so 
 delicate a situation? 
 
 (Ruth comes doivn C.) 
 
 Ruth. And Ruth, your own Ruth, whom you love so well, 
 and who has won her middle-aged way into your boyish heart — 
 what is to become of her? 
 
 King. Oh, he will take you with him. 
 
 Fred. Well, Ruth, I feel some little difficulty about you. It 
 is true that I admire j^ou very much, but I have been constantly 
 at sea since I was eight years old, and yours is the only woman's 
 face I have seen during that time. I tliink it is a sweet face. 
 
 Ruth. It is — oh, it is! 
 
 Fred. I say T think it is — that is my impression. But as I 
 have never had an opportunity of comparing you with other 
 women, it is just possible I may be mistaken. 
 
 King. True. 
 
 Fred. What a terrible thing it would be if I were to marry 
 this innocent person, and then find out that she is, on the whole, 
 plain ! 
 
 King. Oh, Ruth is very well — verj- Avell indeed. 
 
 i^.\M. Yes, there are the remains of a fine woman about Ruth. 
 
 Fred. Do you really think so? Then I will not be so selfish 
 as to take her from you. In justice to her and in consideration 
 for vou I will leave her behind. {Haiuh Ruth to King.) 
 
 King. No, Frederic, this must not be. We are rough men, 
 who lead a rough life, but we are not so utterly heartless as to 
 deprive thee of thj' love. I think I am right in saying that there 
 is not one here who would deprive thee of this inestimable treas- 
 ure for all the world holds dear. 
 
 All. {Loudly.) Not one! 
 
 King. No, I thought there wasn't. Keep thy love, Frederic 
 — keep thy love! (Hands her hack to Frederic.') 
 
 Fred. You're very good, I'm sure. 
 
 King. Well, it's the top of the tide, and we must be otf. 
 Farewell, Frederic. When your process of extermination begins.
 
 let our deaths be as swift and painless as you can conveniently 
 make them. 
 
 Fked. I wiU. By the love 1 have for you, I swear it. Would 
 that you could render this extermination unnecessary by accom- 
 panying me back to civilization! 
 
 King. No, Frederic, it cannot be. I don't think much of 
 our profession, but, contrasted with respectability, it is compar- 
 atively honest. Xo, Frederic; I shall live and die a pirate 
 king. 
 
 SoxG. — Pirate King. 
 
 Oh better far to live and die 
 Under the brave black flag I fly, 
 Than play a sanctimonious part 
 With a pirate head and a pirate heart. 
 Away to the cheating world go you, 
 Where pirates all are well-to-do ; 
 But I'll be true to the song I sing. 
 And live and die a Pirate King! 
 For I-am a Pirate King! 
 
 All. You are! Hurrah for the Pirate King! 
 
 King. And it is, it is a glorious thing 
 
 To be a Pirate King! 
 
 All. It is Hurrah for our Pirate King! 
 
 King. When I sallj' forth to seek my prey 
 
 I help myself in a royal way. 
 I sink a few more ships, it's true. 
 Than a well-bred monarch ought to do ; 
 But many a king on a first-class throne, 
 If he wants to call his crown his own, 
 Must manage somehow to get through 
 More dirty work than ever / do. 
 Though I am a Pirate King! 
 
 All. You are! Hurrah for the Pirate King! 
 
 King. And it is, it is a glorious thing 
 
 To be a Pirate King! 
 
 All. It is! Hurrah for our Pirate King! 
 
 {After Sony, the King, SAiMUKL, and all the Piraits, except Fred- 
 eric «»rf Ruth, //o off 1\. and R. U. E. Frederic comes down 
 C, followed by Erni.) 
 
 Ruth. Oh take me with you! I cannot live if T im Ifft 
 behind.
 
 Fred. Ruth, I will be quite candid with you. You are very 
 dear to me, as you know, but I must be circumspect. You see, 
 
 ;^ou are cousiderably older than I : a lad of twenty-cue usually 
 ooks for a wife of seventeen. 
 
 RuTu. A wife of seventeen ! You will find me a wife of a 
 thousand ! 
 
 Fri-:d. No, but I shall find you a wife of forty-seven, and 
 thi.t is quite enough now. lluth, tell me candidly and without 
 reserve: compared with other women, how are youf 
 
 Ruth. I will answer you truthfully, master : I have a slight 
 cold, but otherwise I am quite well. 
 
 Feed. I am sorry for your cold, but I was referring rather 
 to your personal appearance. Compared with other women, are 
 you beautiful ? 
 
 Ruth. {Bashfully.) I have been told so, dear master. 
 
 Fred. Ah, but lately ? 
 
 Ruth. Oh no ; years and years ago. 
 
 Fred. But what do you think yourself? 
 
 Ruth. It is a delicate question to answer, but I think I am 
 a fine woman. 
 
 Fred, That is your candid opinion? 
 
 Ruth. Yes : I should be deceiving you if I told you other- 
 wise. 
 
 Fred. Thank you, Ruth, I believe you, for I am sure you 
 Would not practise on my inexperience. I wish to do the right 
 thing, and if — I say, if- — you are really a fine woman, your age 
 shall be no obstacle to our union. (Shakes hands %vit}i her.) 
 
 (Chorus of girls heard in the extreme distance, ^^ Climbing over 
 rocky mountains," etc. See entrance of girls.) 
 
 Fi;i:d. Hark! surely I hear voices. Who has ventured to 
 approach our all but inaccessible lair? Can it be custom-house? 
 No, it does not sound like custom-house. 
 
 Ruth. (Aside.) Confusion ! It is the voices of young girls I 
 If he should see them 1 am lost. 
 
 Fked. (^Climbing rocky arch J{. C. and looking off L.) By 
 all that's marvellous, a bevy of beautiful maidens! 
 
 Klth. (Aside.) Lost! lost! lost! 
 
 Fred. How lovely, how surpassingly lovely, is the plainest 
 of them ! What grace ! what delicacy ! what refinement ! and 
 Ruth — Ruth told me she was beautiful 1 
 
 Fred. Oh false one, you have deceived me ! .•? 
 Ruth. I have deceived you? ■.^^^\.^j ^ 
 
 Fred. Yes, deceived me ! (Denouncing her ^ 
 
 h'C' 
 
 |/)/i;;))f pyyiffid
 
 IJ 
 
 Duet — Frkdekic and Ruth. 
 Fred. You told me you were fair as gold. 
 Ruth. C Wildly.) And, master, am I uot so ? 
 Fred. And now I see you're plain and old. 
 Ruth. I am sure I am not a jot so. ^^>^' 
 
 Fred. Upon my innocence you play, ^y*^'' 
 Ruth. I'm not the one to g^lgt so. 
 Fred. Your lace is lined, your hair is gray. 
 Ruth. , It's gradually got so. jM,-;i;ji/i^ -[ 
 
 Fbed. ;Faithle6s woman, to deceive me !— I who trusted so i 
 Ruth. Master, master, do not leave me ; hear me ere you gol 
 My love, without reflecting, 
 Oh do not be rejecting. 
 Take a niaiden tender, her affection raw and green. 
 At very highest rating 
 Has been accumulating 
 Summers seventeen, summers seventeen. 
 
 Don't, beloved master. 
 
 Crush me with disaster ! 
 What is such a dower to the dower I have here? 
 
 My love, unabating, 
 
 Has been accumulating 
 Forty -seven year, forty-*ven year ! 
 Ensemble. 
 
 Ruth. 
 Don't, beloved master, 
 Crush me with disaster, etc. 
 What is such a dower to the 
 dower I have here ? etc. 
 
 Fred. 
 
 Yes, your former master .^^ 
 
 Saves you from disaster. y^ 
 Your love would be uncom- 
 fortably fervid, it is clear, 
 If, as you are stating. 
 It's been accumulating 
 
 Forty-seven year, forty-seven 
 year ! 
 {Ai the end he renounces her, and she goes off R. in despair.) 
 
 Regit.— Fred. 
 What shall I do? Before these gentle maidens I_ dare nov 
 ihow in this alarming costume. No, no, I must remam m cIom 
 concealment until I can appear in decent clothuig. {J^'^t K.) 
 (Hides in cave as they enter from R. and L., climbing over th« roeki 
 at I . of the stage and through arched rock R.) 
 Fred. 
 Climbing over rocky mountain, 
 Skipping ri'-ulet and fountain, 
 
 v.V^'
 
 10 
 
 Passing where the willows quiver 
 By the ever-rollino; river. 
 
 Swollen with the svmiraer raiii ; 
 Threading long and leafy mazes, 
 Dotted with unnumbered daisies, 
 Sealing rough and rugged passes, 
 Climb the hardy little lasses. 
 
 Till the bright seashore they gain. 
 
 Edith, 
 Let us gayly tread the measure, 
 Make the most of fleeting pleasure, 
 Hail it as a true ally. 
 Though it perish by and by. 
 
 All. 
 Hail it as a true ally. 
 Though it perish by and by. 
 
 Edith. 
 Every naoment brings a treasure 
 Of its own especial pleasure : 
 Though the moments qucDkly die, 
 Greet them gayly as they fly. ( Dane«.) 
 
 Kate. 
 Far aAvay from toil and care, 
 Revelling in fresh sea-air. 
 Here we live and reign alone. 
 In a world that's all our own. 
 
 Here, in this our rocky den. 
 Far away from mortal men. 
 We'll be queens and make decrees : 
 They may honor them who please. 
 
 All. 
 Let us gayly tread the measure, etc. 
 
 Kate. What a picturesque spot ! I wonder where we are f 
 
 Edith. And I wonder where papa is? We have left hia 
 ever so far behind. 
 
 Isabel. Oh, he will be here presently. Remember, jhkm 
 pai)a is not as young as we are, and we came over a rather dif- 
 ficult country. 
 
 Kate. But how thoroughly delightful it is to be so entirely 
 alone! Why, in all proliability we are the first human beings 
 who ever set foot on this enchanting s))ot.
 
 II 
 
 IsA BEL. Except the mermaids : it's the very place for mer- 
 maids — 
 
 Kate. Who are ouly human beings down to the waist — 
 Edith. And who can't be said, strictly, to set foot anywhere. 
 Tails they may, but feet they cannot. 
 
 Kate. But what shall we do until papa and the servants 
 arrive with the luncheon ? (All listen and come down.) 
 
 Edith. We are quite alone, and the sea is as smooth as glass. 
 8up})0se we take off our shoes and stockings and paddle ? 
 
 All. Yes, yes — the very thing ! 
 (They prepare to carry out the sxcggestion. They have all taken off 
 one shoe, when Frederic comes forward from cave.) 
 Fred. {Recitative.) Stop, ladies, pray ! 
 All. {Hopping on one foot.) A man! 
 Fred. I had intended 
 
 Not to intrude myself upon your notice 
 In this effective but alarming costume, 
 But under these peculiar circumstances it is jny 
 
 bounden duty to inform you 
 That your proceedings will not be unwitnessed, 
 Edith. But who are you, sir ? Speak ! {All hopping.) 
 Fred. I am a pirate ! 
 
 All. {Recoiling, hopping.) A pirate ! Horror ! 
 Fred. Ladies, do not shun me. 
 
 This evening I renounce my vile profession, 
 And to that end, O pure and peei'less maidens, 
 O blushing buds of ever-blooming beauty, 
 I, sore of heart, implore your kind assistance. 
 Edith. How pitiful his tale ! 
 Kate. How rare his beauty ! 
 
 All. How i)itiful his tale ! how rare his beauty I {Put on 
 iKeir shoes.) 
 
 Song. — Frederic. 
 Oh is there not one maiden breast 
 
 Which does not feel the moral beauty 
 Of making worldly interest 
 
 Subordinate to sense of duty ? 
 \Vlio would not give up willingly 
 
 All matrimonial ambition 
 To rescue such an one as I 
 
 From his unfortunate position? {Orostes M.) 
 
 Ali.- Alas ! there's not one maiden breaat 
 
 Which seems to feel the moral beauty 
 Of making worldly interest 
 Subordinate to sense of duty.
 
 Frkd. 
 Oh, is there not one luaiden here 
 
 Whose hc^mely face and had coiuplexioa 
 Have caused all hope to disappear 
 
 Of ever winning man's ati'ection ? 
 To such^an one, if such there be, 
 
 I swear, by heaven's arch above you, 
 If you will cast your eyes ou me, 
 
 However plain you be, I'll love you. 
 
 All. 
 ^)'i.%\ there's not one maiden here 
 
 Whose homely face and bad complexi<Hi 
 Have caused all hope to disappear 
 
 Of ever winning man's affection. 
 
 Fred, (Li de/^pair.) Not one? 
 All. No, no, not one. 
 Fred. Not one ? 
 All. No, no ! 
 
 (jNlAiiEL enters through arch R. CA 
 Mabel. Yes, one ! 
 All. 'Tis Mabel ! 
 Mabel. Yes, 'tis Mabel ! 
 
 Rkcit. — Mabi:j.. 
 sisters, deaf to pity's name? 
 
 For shame ! 
 It's true th.at he lias gone astray, 
 
 But, pray. 
 Is that a reason good and true 
 
 Why yon 
 Should all be deaf to pity's name? 
 
 For shame ! 
 ^i> {Aside.) The question is, had he not been 
 
 A thing of beauty. 
 Would she be swayed by quite as keea 
 
 A sense of duty ? 
 
 Solo. — Mabel. 
 Poor wandering one, 
 
 Tliough thou liast surely strayed, 
 Take heart of grace ; 
 Thy stci)S retrace; 
 
 Be not afraid.
 
 13 
 
 Poor wandering one, 
 
 If such poor love as mine 
 
 Can help thee find 
 
 True ]»eace of mind, 
 
 Why, take it — it is thine. 
 All. Take heart ! no danger lowers ; 
 
 Take any heart— but ours! 
 Mabel Take heart! fair days will shiiie. 
 
 Take any heart — take mine ! 
 
 (Mabel and Fred exit L.) 
 
 (Mabej a7id Fred go to mouth of cave L., and co>i.vcr«e. Kati 
 beckons her sisters, who form in a semicircle around her.) 
 
 Edith. 
 What ought we to do, 
 
 Gentle sister?, say ? 
 Propriety, we know, 
 
 Says we ought to stay. 
 While sympathy exclaims, 
 
 " Free them from your tether ; 
 Play at other games ; 
 
 Leave them here together." 
 
 iv.VTE. 
 
 Her case may any day 
 
 Be yours, my dear, or mine ; 
 Let her make her hay 
 
 While the sun doth shine. 
 Let us compromise 
 
 (Our hearts are not of leather) : 
 Let us shut our eyes 
 
 And talk about the weather. 
 
 (Edith, Kate, and girls retire up, and sit two and ttvo.faeing eaek 
 
 other, in a line across the stage.) 
 
 (Chatteriko Chorus, during which Fred and Mabel fondle) 
 
 How beautifully blue the sky ! 
 The glass is rising very high. 
 Continue fine I hope it may, 
 Acd yet it rained but yesterday : 
 To-morrow it may jiour again 
 (I hear tlie country wants some rain) 
 Yet people sny, I know not why, 
 TltHt we shal! havn a uarni .lidy.
 
 14 
 
 Solo. — Mabkl. 
 {During this the girls coniinxie their chatter pianissimo, but listen- 
 ing eagerly all the time.) 
 
 Did ever maiden ^vake 
 
 From dream of homely dut}' 
 To find her dayliglit break 
 
 With such exceeding beauty ? 
 Did ever maiden close 
 
 iier eyes on wakening sadness, 
 To dream of, Goodness knows, 
 
 H->'* much exceeding gladness ? 
 
 Ff.kd. 
 Ah yes, ah yes, this is exceeding gladness. 
 (Frederic and Mabel turn and see that the girls are listening , 
 detected, they continue their chatter, forte.). 
 
 Girls. 
 How beautifully blue the sky ! etc. etc. 
 
 Solo — Fkeu. 
 
 (During this the girls continue their chatter, pianissimo, 05 before, 
 
 but listening intently all the time.) 
 
 Did ever pirate roll 
 
 His soul in guilty dreaming, 
 And wake to find that soul 
 
 With peace and virtue beaming? 
 Did ever pirate loatlied 
 
 Forsake his hideous mission, 
 To find himself betrothed 
 
 To a lady of position ? 
 
 Mabel. 
 Ah yes, ah yes, 1 am a lady of position. 
 
 (Mabel and Fred turn as before. Girls resume their chaUei, 
 
 forte.) 
 
 exsemble. 
 Mabel. Fkkd. Girls. 
 
 Did ever maiden Did ever pirate How beautiftilly blue 
 
 wake, etc. loathed, etc. the sky, etc. 
 
 II EC. — Fred. 
 Stay ; we must not lose our senses 
 Men who dlick at no offences 
 Will anon l)e here.
 
 13 
 
 Piracy their dreadful trade is ; 
 Pray you get you hence, young ladiea. 
 While the coast is clear. 
 
 Girls. 
 No, we must not lose our senses, 
 If they stick at no offences. 
 We should not be here. 
 Piracy their dreadful traile is — 
 Nice companions for young ladie* ! 
 Let us disaj)pear. 
 
 {During this Chorus the Pirates enter stealthily from R. U. E., 
 and form in a semicircle behind the girls. As the girb wuwc <« 
 go off, each Pirate seizes a girl.) 
 
 All. Too late ! 
 
 Pirates. Ha ! ha ! 
 All. Too late ! 
 
 Ha! ha! 
 
 Pirates. 
 
 Ha! ha! ha! ha! ho! ho! ho! ho! 
 
 ENSEMBLE. 
 
 Pirates. liADiEs. 
 
 Now here's a first-rate oppor- We have missed our oppor- 
 tunity tunity 
 
 To get married with impunity, Of escaping with impunity ; 
 
 And indulge in the felicity So farewell to the felicity 
 
 Of unbounded domesticity. Of our maiden domesticity. 
 You shall quickly be parson- We shall quickly be panson 
 
 ified, ified, 
 
 Conjugally matrimouified, Conjugally matrim on ified, 
 
 By a doctor of divinity By a doctor of divinity 
 
 Who is located in this vicinity. Who is located in iliis vicinitf 
 
 Mabel (coming forward), Reott 
 Hold, monsters ! ere your pirate caravanserai 
 
 Proceeds against our will to wed us all, 
 Just bear in mind that we are wards in chancery, 
 
 And father is a Major-General! 
 
 Samuel. 
 We'd better pause, or dangers may befall ; 
 Tlieir father is a Major-General. 
 
 Ai.L THE Ladieb. 
 Yes, yes, he is a Major-General. 
 (The Major-General haa entered unnoticed on rofl- J,. U. E.)
 
 J6 
 
 General. Yes, 1 am a Major-General ! 
 
 All. You are i Hurrah for the Major-General ! 
 
 General. And it is a glorious thing to be a Major-General I 
 
 All. It is ! Hurrah for the Major-General ! 
 
 Song — Major General. 
 
 I am the very pattern of a modern major-gineral : 
 
 I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral ; 
 
 I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical 
 
 From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical ; 
 
 I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical ; 
 
 I understand equaiions, both the simple and quadratical ; 
 
 About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot of news — 
 
 (^Bothered for next rhyvie.) Lot o' news — lot o' news — 
 
 (Stinick with an idea.) With many cheerful facts about the 
 
 square of the hypotenuse ; 
 {Joyfully.) ^\'ith many cheerful facts about the square of the 
 
 hypotenuse ! 
 
 All. 
 With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse ! 
 
 General. 
 
 I'm very good at integral and differential calculus ; 
 I know the scientific names of beings animalculous ; 
 In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral 
 I am the very model of a modern major-gineral ' 
 
 All. 
 
 In short in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral 
 He is the very model of a modern major-gineral ! 
 
 General. 
 
 I know our mythic history, King A'*thur's and Sir Caradoc's; 
 
 I answer hard acrostics ; I've a pretty taste for paradox — 
 
 I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus ; 
 
 In conies I can floor peculiarities parabolous; 
 
 I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zof- 
 
 fanies ; 
 I know the croaking chorus from the "i^ro^s of Aristophanes;" 
 Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din 
 
 afore — 
 (Bothered for next rhyme.) Din afoi-e? din afore? din afore? — 
 (/Struck with cm idea.) And whistle all the airs from that infer- 
 nal honsense, Pinafore, 
 {Joyously.) And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense. 
 
 Pinafore.
 
 17 
 
 A LI,. 
 
 And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense, Pinafore. 
 
 General. 
 Then I can write a washing-bill in Babylonic cuneiform, 
 And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform. 
 In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral 
 I am the very model of a modern major-gineral ! 
 
 All. 
 
 In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral 
 He IS the very pattern of a modern major-gineral I 
 
 General. 
 In tact, when I know what is meant by " mamelon " and 
 
 "ravelin " — 
 When I can tell at sight a chassepot rifle from a javelin — 
 When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at, 
 And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat" — 
 When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern 
 
 gunnery — 
 When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery, — 
 In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy — 
 (^Bothered for the rhyme?) Strategy ! strategy ' — 
 
 (Struck with an idra,) 
 (foyous/j'.) You'll say a better major-general has never sat agee. 
 
 All. 
 We'll say a better major-general has never sat agee. 
 
 General. 
 For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and advcutury, 
 Has only been brought down to the beginning of the ccntur\ ; 
 But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral 
 I am the very model of a modern major-gineral. 
 
 All. 
 But still in learning vegetable, animal, and mineral 
 He is the very model of a modern major-gineral. 
 
 General. And now that I've introduced myself, I should 
 like to have some idea of what's going on. 
 
 Kate. Oh, papa ! we — 
 
 Samuel. Permit me ; I'll explain it in two words : we pro- 
 pose to marry your daughters. 
 
 General. Dear me ! 
 
 Girls. Against our wills, papa— against our wills!
 
 18 
 
 (jrENERAL. Oh, but you mustn't do that. May 1 ask— this 
 is a picturesque uniform, but I'm not familiar with it — ^hat ar** 
 you? 
 
 King. We are all single gentlemen. 
 
 Gkxerai.. Yes, I gathered that. Anything else? 
 
 King. No, nothing else. 
 
 Editif. Papa, don't believe them. They are pirates — the 
 famous Pirates of Penzance ! 
 
 General. The Pirates of Penzance? I have often heard 
 of them. 
 
 JMabel. Yes, all except this gentleman {indicating Fred- 
 eric), who was a pirate once, but who is out of his indentures 
 to day. 
 
 General. But wait a bit. I object to pirates as sons-in- 
 law. 
 
 King. We object to major-generals as fathers-in-law. But 
 we waive that point ; we do not press it, we look over it. 
 
 General. (^Aside.) Hah! an idea! (Aloud.) And do you 
 mean to say that you would deliberately rob me of these the 
 sole remaining props of my oW age, and leave me to go through 
 the remainder of life unfriended, unprotected, and alone ? 
 
 Kixc. Well, yes ; that's the idea. 
 
 General. Tell me, have you ever kiinwn what it is to be an 
 orphan ? 
 
 All the Pirates. (Disyvded.) Oh, dash it all ! 
 
 King. Here we are again ! 
 
 General. I ask you, Have yon ever known what it is to be 
 an orphan ? 
 
 King. (SigJiing.) Often, 
 
 General. Yes, orphan. Have you ever known what it is to 
 be one ? 
 
 King. I say, often. 
 
 All. (Disgusted.) Often! oftei\! often! (Turning amiy.) 
 
 General. I don't think wc quite understand one another 
 I ask you. Have you ever known what it is to be an orphan ? 
 and you say " Orphan." As I understand you, you are merely 
 repeating the word " orphan " to show that you understand me. 
 
 King. I didn't repeat the word "often." 
 
 General. Pardon ine ; you did indeed. 
 
 JvixG. J only repeated it o!ice. 
 
 General, 'fruo, but you repeated it. 
 
 King. But not often. 
 
 General. Stop! I think I see Avhere we are getting con- 
 fused. When you said " orphan " did you mean " orphan." a 
 person who has lost his parents, or " often," ft-equently V 
 
 King. Oh, I bt'jr your )):irdo:i ! [ see you mean frequently.
 
 19 
 
 Gkneral. Ah, you said " often " frequently. 
 
 King. No, only once. 
 
 General. Exactly, you said " often, frequently," only onee 
 
 Finale. 
 
 Regit. — General. 
 
 Oh, men of dark and dismal fate, 
 
 Forego your cruel employ ; 
 Have pity on my lonely state — 
 I am an orphan boy ! 
 King. An orphan boy ? 
 
 General. An orphan boy ! 
 
 Pirates. How sad ! an orphan boy ! 
 
 Solo. — General. 
 These children whom you see 
 Are all that I can call my own. 
 Pirates. Poor fellow ! 
 
 General. Take them away from me. 
 
 And I shall be indeed alone. 
 Pirates. Poor fellow ! 
 
 General If pity you can feel. 
 
 Leave me my sole remaining joy. 
 See, at your feet they kneel ; 
 Your hearts you cannot steel 
 Against tlie sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy. 
 Pirates. (Sobbiiig.) Poor fellow! 
 
 See, at our feet they kneel ; 
 Our hearts we cannot steel 
 Against the sad, sad tale of the lonely orphan boy. 
 King. The orphan boy ! 
 
 8am. The orphan boy ! 
 
 All. The lonely orphan boy ! Poor fellow ! 
 
 General. 
 
 I'm telling a terrible 
 story, 
 
 But it doesn't dimin- 
 ish my glory ; 
 
 For they would have 
 taken my daugh- 
 ters 
 
 Over the billowy wa- 
 ters, 
 
 Ensemble. 
 
 Girls. (Aside.) 
 
 He's telling a terri- 
 ble story, 
 
 "Which will tend to 
 diminish his glory. 
 
 Though they would 
 have taken his 
 daughters 
 
 Over the billoNvy wa- 
 ter?. 
 
 Pirates. (Aside.) 
 If he's telling a ter- 
 rible story. 
 He shall die by a 
 death that is gory- 
 Yes, one of the cruel- 
 lest slaughters 
 Thatever were known 
 in these waters ;
 
 •2^J 
 
 General. Girls. (Aside.) Pi bates. (Astae.j 
 
 If I hadn't in elegant It's easy in elegant And we'll fini.«h his 
 
 diction diction moral aiHiction 
 
 Indulged in an inno- To call it an innocent By a vei y complete 
 
 cent fiction, fiction, malediction, 
 
 Which is not in the But it comes in the As a com])liiiient val- 
 
 same category same category edictory. 
 
 As telling a regular, As telling a regular, If he's telling a regf- 
 
 terrible story. terrible story. idar, toirible story 
 
 King. 
 
 Although our dark career 
 
 Sometimes involves the ci'ime of stealing. 
 We rather think that we're 
 
 Not altogether void of feeling. 
 Although we live by strife, 
 
 We're always sorry to begin it. 
 For what we ask is life 
 
 Without a touch of poetry in it. 
 
 All. {Kneeling.') 
 Hail, Poetry, thou heaven-born maid ! 
 Thou gildest e'en the pirate's trade. 
 Hail, flowing fount of sentiment! 
 All hail, divine emollient ! 
 
 King. 
 You may go, for you're at liberty ; our pirate rules protect you, 
 A.nd honorary members of our band we do elect you. 
 
 Samuel. For he is an orphan boy I 
 
 All. He is! Hurrah for the orphan boy! 
 
 General And it sometimes is a useful thing to be an or- 
 phan boy. 
 All.. It is! Hurrah for the orphan boy I 
 
 Hurrah for the orphan — 
 
 MAKi':L,etc. Oh, happy day! with joyous glee 
 
 We will away and married be ! 
 General. Oh, happy day! with joyous glee 
 
 They will away and married be! 
 Mabel. Should it boi'all auspiciously, 
 
 My sisters all will bridesmaids be. 
 General. Should it befall auspiciously, 
 
 Her sisters all will bridesmaids be. 
 All. Oh, ha})i)v duv ! etc.
 
 23 
 
 Kkcit. — Ruth. 
 
 Oh, master, liear oue word, 1 do iiuplore you ! 
 
 Remember Ruth, your Ruth, who kneels before you I 
 Pirates. Yes, yes, remember Rutli who kneels before you. 
 Fked. Away ! you did deceive me I 
 
 Pirates. Away! you did deceive him. 
 Ruth. Oh, do not leave me ! 
 
 Pirates. Oh, do not leave her ! 
 Fred. Away! you grieve me! 
 
 Pirates. Away ! you grieve him ! 
 Fred. I wii^h you'd leave me ! 
 
 Pirates. We wish you'd leave him ! 
 Ensemble. 
 
 Pray observe the magnanimity 
 
 We ) 
 
 rpi ^ > di.splay to lace and dimity. 
 
 Never was such opportunity 
 To get married with im])unity ; 
 
 But j 1 > give up ibe felicity 
 
 Of unbounded domesticity, 
 Though a doctor of divinity 
 Is located in this vicinity. 
 
 Girls and General go up rocks L. Group while Pirates in- 
 dulge in a wild dance of delight on stage U. and R. C. Th* 
 General produces a British flag, and the Pirate King (on 
 arched rock B. (7.) produces a black flag with skull and cro$$- 
 •ones. Pictm e.) 
 
 EKO OF ACT \
 
 32 
 
 Scene. — A ruined chapel by moonlight. Aisles C, K., and Jm, 
 divided by pillars and arches; ruined Gothic windows at book. 
 General Stanley discovered seated R. C. pensively, surrountMl 
 by hu daughters. 
 
 Chorus. 
 
 Oh dry the glistening tear 
 
 That dews that martial cheek ; 
 Thy loving children hear, 
 
 In them thy comfort seek. 
 With sympathetic care 
 
 Their arms around thee creep, 
 For oh, they cannot bear 
 
 To see their father weep. 
 
 (Eater Mabel and Fred.) 
 
 Solo. — Mabel. 
 
 Dear father, why leave your bed 
 
 At this untimely hour, 
 When happy daylight is dead 
 
 And darksome dangers lower ? 
 See, Heaven has lit her lamp, 
 
 The midnight hour is past. 
 And the chilly night-air is damp, 
 
 The dew is falling fust. 
 Dear lather, why leave your bed 
 When happy daylight is dead ? 
 
 (Fred enters R. U. E. and down C.) 
 
 Mabel. Oh, Frederic, cannot you reconcile it with your co»^ 
 science to say something that will relieve my father's sorrow? 
 
 Fred. I will try, dear Mabel, but why does he sit, night 
 after night, in this draughty old ruin ?
 
 23 
 
 General. Why do I sit here ? To escape from ti le pirates' 
 clutches I described myself as an orphan, and I am nD orpJian. 
 f came here to luimble myself before the tombs of my ancestors, 
 and to implore their pardon for the disgrace I have brought upon 
 them. 
 
 Fred. But you forget, sir. You only bouglit the properly 
 a year ago, and the stucco on your baronial castle is scarcely dry 
 
 General. Frederic, in this chapel are ancestors ; you can 
 not deny that. I don't know whose ancestors they were, but 1 
 know whose ancestors they are, and I shudder to think that their 
 descendant by purchase (if I may so describe myself) should 
 have brought disgrace upon what I have no doubt was an un- 
 stained escutcheon. 
 
 Fred. Be comforted. Had you not acted as you did, these 
 reckless men would assuredly have called in the nearest clergy 
 man, and have married your large family on the spot. 
 
 General. I thank you for your proffered solace, but it is un- 
 availing. At what time does your exp3dition march against 
 these scoundrels ? 
 
 Fred. At eleven, and before midnight I hope to have atoned 
 for my involuntary association with these pestilent scourges by 
 sweeping them from the face of the earth.— And then, my Mabel, 
 you will be mine ! 
 
 General. Are your devoted followers at hand? 
 
 Fred. They are ; they only wait my orders. 
 
 Regit. — General? Then, Frederic, let your escort lion-hearted 
 be summoned to receive a general's blessing ere they depart upon 
 their dread adventure. 
 
 Fred. Dear sir, they come ! 
 (Enter Police, marching in sinr/le file from L., 2d E., and form 
 in line, facing at(dience.) 
 
 Song. — Sergeant. 
 When the foeman bares his steel — 
 All. {Using their chd)-'^ as trnmpefs.) Tarantaral tarantara 
 Sergeant. We uncomfortable feel ; 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 Ser(jeant. And we find the wi.-^est thing — 
 All. Tarantara! tarantara! 
 
 Sergeant. Is to slap our chests and sing — 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. For when threatened with emeutes — 
 All. .Tarantara! tarantara! 
 
 8ergk.\xt. And your heart is in your boot* — 
 All Tarantara '
 
 24 
 
 Sergeant. There is uothiiig briugs it round— 
 All. Tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. Like the trumpet's martial sound — ■ 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. Tarautara-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra ! etc. 
 All. Tarantara-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra ! 
 
 Mabel (from L., addressing Serge a.nt). 
 
 Go, ye heroes, go to glory ! 
 Though you die in combat gory, 
 Ye shall live in song and story — 
 
 Go to immortality ! 
 Go to death and go to slaughter ; 
 Die. and every Cornish daughter 
 With her tears your graves shall water-» 
 Go, ye heroes, go and die ! 
 
 All. Go, ye heroes, go and die ! 
 
 Sergeant. Though to us it's evident — 
 
 All. Tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 
 Sergean'i These attentions are well meant — 
 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. Such expressions don't appear — 
 
 All. Tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. Calculated men to cheer — 
 
 All. Tarantara ! • 
 
 Sergeant. Who are going to meet their fate — 
 
 All. Tarantara! tarantara! 
 
 Sergeant. In a highly nervous state — 
 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. Still, to us it's evident — 
 
 All. Tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. These attentions are well meant — 
 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 All. Yes, to them it's evident etc. etc. 
 
 Edith (from JR., addressing Sergeant). 
 
 Go, and do your best endeavor. 
 And before all links we sever 
 We will say larewell for ever — 
 
 Go to glory and the grave! 
 For your foes are fierce and ruthless, 
 False, unmerciful, and truthless ; 
 Young and tender, old and toothless, 
 All in vain their mercy crave. 
 A-LL. Yes, your foes are fierce and ruthless, etc
 
 25 
 
 Chorus of Police. 
 We observe too great a stress — 
 
 Tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 On the risks that on us press — 
 
 Tarantara ! 
 And of reference a lack — 
 Tarantara! tarantara! 
 To our chance of coming back— 
 Tarantara ! 
 Sergeant. Still, perhaps it would be wise — 
 Police. Tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. Not to carp or criticise — 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 Sergeant. For it's very evident — 
 All. Tarantara! tarantara! 
 
 Sergeant. These attentions are well meant — 
 All. Tarantara ! 
 
 All. Yes, to us it's evident 
 
 These attentions are well meant — 
 
 Tarantara-ra-ra-ra-ra ! etc. etc 
 Go, ye heroes, go to glory ! eic. etc 
 General. Away! away! 
 Police. ( WitJiout moving.) Yes, yes, we go ! 
 General. These pirates slay. 
 Police. Yes, yes, we go. 
 
 General. Then do not stay. 
 Police. We go, we go. 
 
 General. Then why all this delay? 
 Police. All right ! We go, we go ; 
 
 Yes, forward on the foe ! 
 
 Ho! ho! ho! ho! 
 We go, we go, we go ! 
 Tarantara-i'a-ra-ra ! 
 General. Then forward on the foe ! 
 All. Yes ! forward ! 
 
 Police. Yes ! forward ! 
 
 General. Yes ! but you doni go ' 
 Police. We go, we go, we go ! 
 
 All. At last they really go 1 
 
 Ensemble. 
 Chorus of All but Police. Chorus of Police. 
 
 Go, and do your best endeavor. Such expressions don't appear — 
 And before all links we sever Tarantara ! tarantara 1 
 
 We will say farewell for ever ; Calculated men to cheer — 
 Go to glory and the grave! Tarantara " 
 
 Tarantara-ra-ra !
 
 26 
 
 Chorus of All but Police. Chorus of Police. 
 
 For your foes are fierce and Who are going to their fate — 
 
 ruthless, Tarautara! tarantaral 
 
 False, unmerciful, and truth- In a liighly nervous state — 
 
 less ; Tarantara I 
 
 Young and tender, old and We observe too great a stress — 
 toothless*, Tarantara! tarantaral 
 
 All in vain their mercy crave. On the risks that on us press — 
 etc. TarautaraJ 
 
 And of reference a lack — 
 
 Tarantara ! tarantara I 
 To our chance of coming back — 
 Tarantara ! 
 
 (Mabel iears herself from Fred, and exits R., followed by her 
 sisters, consoling her. The General and others follow the 
 Police off L. Frederic remains alone.) 
 
 Recit. — Fred. 
 Now for the pirates' lair ! Oh joy unbounded ! 
 Oh sweet relief! oh rapture unexampled ! 
 At lasi I may atone, in some slight measure. 
 For the repeated acts of theft and pillage 
 Of which, at a sense of duty's stern dictation, 
 I, circumstances' victim, have been guilty. 
 
 ( The Pirate King and Ruth appear at the window C, armed.] 
 
 King Young Frederic ! {Covering him with pistol.) 
 
 Who calls ? 
 
 Your late commander. {Coming down.) 
 
 And I, your little Ruth ! {Covering him with pistoL] 
 Oh, mad intruders ! 
 
 How dare ye face me ? Know ye not, rash onea, 
 That I have doomed you to extermination ? 
 
 (King and Ruth hold a pistol to each ear.) 
 Have mercy on us ! Hear us ere you slaughter I 
 I do not think 1 ought to listen to you. 
 Yes, mercy should allay our stern resentment, 
 And so I will be merciful. Say on. 
 
 Trio. — Ruth, King, a7id Fred. 
 When first you left our pirate fold 
 
 We tried to cheer our spirits faint, 
 According to our customs old. 
 
 With quips and quibbles quaint; 
 But all in vain the quips we heard ; 
 
 We lay and sobbed upon the rock«. 
 
 Fred. 
 King. 
 Ruth. 
 Fred. 
 
 Kino. 
 Fred.
 
 27 
 
 Until to somebody occurred 
 A startling paradox. 
 
 Frxd. a paradox ? 
 
 King and Ruth. {Laughing.) A paradox — 
 
 A most ingenious paradox. 
 
 We've quips and quibliles heard in flock*, 
 
 But none to beat this paradox. 
 
 Ha! ha! ha! ha! Ho! ho! ho! ho! 
 King. We knew your taste lor curious quips, 
 For cranks and contradictions queer, 
 
 And witli the laughter on our lips 
 We wished you there to hear. 
 
 We said, " If we could tell it him, 
 
 How Frederic would the joke eujoy I" 
 
 And so W'e've risked hoth life and iimb 
 To tell it to our boy, 
 Fred. {Interested.') That paradox. 
 King and Ruth. (Laiighing.) That paradox. 
 
 That most ingenious paradox. 
 
 We've quips and quibbles heard in flocks, 
 
 But none to beat that paradox I 
 
 Ha ! ha ! ha ! ha ! Ho ! ho ! ho ! ho ! 
 
 Chant. — King. 
 
 For some ridjculous reason — to wiiich, however, I've no desire to 
 
 be disloyal — 
 Some person iu authority — I don't know who ; very likely th« 
 
 Astronomer-Royal — 
 Has decided that although for such a beastly month as February 
 
 twenty-eight days as a general rule are i)lenty, 
 One year in every four his (hiys shall be reckoned as nine-aud- 
 
 twenty. 
 Through some singular coincicU'nce — 1 .shouldn't be surprised if 
 
 it were owing to the agency of an ill-natured fairy — 
 You are the victim of this clumsy arrangement, having been 
 
 born in leap-year on the twenty-ninth of Fel)ruary ; 
 And so, by a slm])le arithmetical process, you'll easily discover, 
 That though you've lived twenty-one years, yet, if we go bv 
 birthdays, you are only five and a little bit over ! 
 Ruth a7ic^ King. Ha! hii! ha! ha! Ho ! ho ! lio ! ho! 
 Fked. Dear me! liCt's see : {Counting on Jiiiger$.) 
 
 Yes, yes, — with yours my figures do agree. 
 Ha ' 'ha ! ha ' ha ! Ho ! ho ! ho ! ho ! 
 
 (Frkdkric more amused than any.)
 
 28 
 
 How quaint the ways of I'aradox ! 
 At common sense she gayly "noclcs. 
 Though, counting in the usual way, 
 Years twenty-one I've been alive. 
 Yet, reckoning by my natal-day, 
 I am a little boy oi' five ! 
 Ali.. He is a little boy of five, ha ! ha ! 
 
 Ha! ha! hal ha! 
 King. Ha! ha! ha! ha! 
 Ruth. Ha! ha! ha! ha! 
 Fred. Ha! ha! ha! ha! 
 All. Ha! ha! ha! ha! 
 
 That paradox, etc. 
 
 {All throw themselves back on seats, exhausted with laughing.) 
 
 Fred. Upon my word, this is most curious, 
 
 Most absurdly whimsical. Five and a quarter ! 
 No one would think it to look at me. 
 
 Ruth. You are glad now, I'll be bound, that you si)ared us 
 You would never have forgiven yourself when you discovered 
 fliat you had killed two of your comrades. 
 
 Fred. My comrades? 
 
 King. I'm afraid you don't appreciate the delicacy of your 
 position. You were apprenticed to us — 
 
 Fred. Until I reached my twenty-first year. 
 
 King. No, until you reached your twenty-first birthday 
 (producing documenf), and, going by birthdays, you are as yet 
 only five and a quarter. 
 
 Fred. You don't mean to say you are going to hold me to 
 that ? 
 
 King. No, we merely remind you of the fact, and leave the 
 rest to your sense of duty. 
 
 Fred. {Wildly.) Don't put it on that footing. As I waa 
 merciful to you just now, be merciful to me. I implore you not 
 to insist on the letter of your bond just as the cup of happiness 
 is at my lips. 
 
 Ruth. We insist on nothing. We content ourselves with 
 pointing out to you your duty. 
 
 Fred. Well, you have appealed to my sense of duty, and mj 
 duty is only too clear. I abhor your infamous calling, I shudder 
 at the thought that I have ever been mixed up with it, but duty 
 is before all. At any cost, I will do my duty. 
 
 King. Bravely spoken ! Come, you are one of us once more 
 
 Fred. Lead on, I follow ! {Suddenly.) Oh, horror! 
 
 King and Ruth. AVhat is the matter ?
 
 25) 
 
 Fred. Ought I to tell you? No! no! 1 carmot do it ; an*! 
 ret, as one of your band — 
 
 King. Speak out, I charge you, by that sense of conscien- 
 tiousness to which we have never yet appealed in vain. 
 
 Feed. General Stanley, tlie father of ray Mabel — 
 
 King atid Ruth. Yes ! yes ! 
 
 Fred. He escaped from you on the plea that he was an 
 orphan ? 
 
 King. He did. 
 
 Fred. It breaks my heart to betray the honored father of 
 the girl I adore, but as your apprentice I have no alternative. 
 It is my duty to tell you that General Stanley is no orphan. 
 
 King and Ruth. AVhat ? 
 
 Fred. More than that, he never was one ! 
 
 King. Am I to understand that to save his contemptible 
 life he dared to practise on our credulous simplicity ? (Fred 
 nods as he loeeps.) Our revenge shall be swift and terrible. We 
 will go and collect our band and attack Tremorden Castle this 
 very night. 
 
 Fred. But — 
 
 King. Not a word ! he is doomed ! 
 
 King and Ruth 
 
 Trio. 
 
 Fred. 
 ! m)'^ heart's on Away! away! ere I expire. 
 
 I find my duty hard to do to- 
 day. 
 My heart is filled with anguish 
 dire ; 
 It strikes me to the core. Away! 
 away! 
 
 Away ! away 
 fire; 
 I burn, this base deception to 
 repay ; 
 This very day my vengeance 
 dire 
 Shall glut itself in gore. Away! 
 
 away! 
 
 King. 
 
 All. 
 
 Ruth. 
 
 King. 
 
 Fred. 
 
 Ruth. 
 
 King. 
 
 With falsehood foul 
 
 He tricked us of our brides ; 
 Let vengeance howl — 
 
 The pirate so decides ! 
 Our nature stern 
 
 He softened with his lies, 
 And in return 
 
 To night the traitor dies. 
 Yes, yes, to-night the traitor dies! 
 
 To-night he dies. 
 Yes, or early to-morrow. 
 
 His girls likewise? 
 They will welter in sorrow I 
 
 The one soft spot —
 
 30 
 
 Fred In their natures they cherish ; 
 
 Ruth. And all who plot — 
 
 Kino. To abuse it shall perish. 
 
 All. Yes, all who plot 
 
 To abuse it shall perish ! 
 Away! away! etc. 
 
 Ekeunt King and Ruth. Fred throws himself on a stone L,C 
 
 in blank despair. Enter Mabel.) 
 
 Regit. — Mabel. 
 
 All is prepared ; your gallant crew await yoa. 
 
 My Frederic in tears ? It cannot be 
 
 That lion heart quails at the coming conflict ? 
 
 No, Mabel, no. A terrible disclosure 
 
 Has just been made, 
 
 Mabel, my dearly-loved one, 
 
 I bound myself to serve the pirate captain 
 
 Until I reached my oue-and-twentieth Inrthday. 
 
 But you are twenty-one ? 
 
 I've just discovered 
 
 That I was born in leap-year, and that birthdaj 
 
 Will not be reached by me till 1940. 
 
 Mabel. Oh horrible ! catastrophe appalling ! 
 
 Fred. And so farewell ! 
 
 Mable. No, no ! Oh, Frederic, hear me ! 
 
 Fred. 
 
 Mabel. 
 Fred. 
 
 Mabel. 
 
 Frbd. 
 
 Mabel. 
 Fred. 
 Mabek 
 Fred. 
 
 Duet. — Mab]<;l a7id Fred. 
 
 Stay, Frederic, stay 1 
 They have no legal claim. 
 No shadoAv of a shame 
 Will fall upon thy name. 
 
 Stay, Frederic, stay ! 
 
 Nay, Mabel, nay ! 
 To-night I quit these walls. 
 The thought my soul appallfl, 
 But when stern duty calls 
 
 I must obey ! 
 
 Stay, Frederic, stay ! 
 
 Nay, Mabel, nay! 
 They have no claim. 
 But duty's name ! 
 The thought my soul apnaila, 
 But when stern duty calls 
 
 I must obey !
 
 ai 
 
 Ballad. — Mabel. 
 Oh leave me not to pine 
 
 Aloue and desolate ! 
 No fate seemed fair jis mine-— 
 
 No happine.s.s so great — 
 And Kature day by day 
 
 Has sung in accents clear 
 This joyous roundelay, 
 
 " He loves thee — he is here I 
 
 Fa la ! fa la ! fa la ! 
 He loves thee — he is here I" 
 Fkbs Oh I must leave ihee here, 
 
 In endless night to dream, 
 Where joy is dark and drear 
 And sorrow all supreme — 
 Where nature day by day 
 Will sing m altered tone 
 This weary roundelay, 
 
 " He loves thee — he is gone ! 
 
 Fa la ! fa la ! fa la ! 
 He loves thee — he is gone !" 
 In 1940 I of age shall be : 
 I'll then return and claim you, I declare it' 
 Mabel. It seems so long ! 
 
 Fred. Swear that till then you will be true to me. 
 
 Mabel. (Adde.) Yes, I'll be strong. 
 
 {Aloxid.) By all the Stanleys dead and gone 1 
 swear it I 
 
 Ensemble. 
 Oh here is love, and here is truth, 
 And here is food for joyous laughter : 
 
 H«^|„ill be faithful to {^^^^' 
 
 Till we are wed, and ever after. 
 Fked. Farewell ! Adieu ! 
 
 Mabel. The same to you ! 
 
 Both. Farewell ' Adieu ! 
 
 (Fred rushes to window and leaps otU.) 
 
 Regit. — Mabel. 
 
 sooth 
 
 (Feeling pulse.) Yes, I am brave ! O family descent I 
 How ^reat thy charm ! thy sway how excellent ! 
 Come one and all, undaunted men in blue, 
 A crisis now aflairs are coming to. 
 
 (E/nter Police from R. L E., marehinq in .nngle fue.)
 
 32 
 
 Sergeant. Though in body and in mind, tarautara ! taran- 
 tara ! 
 We are timidly inclined, tarantara ! 
 And anything but blind, tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 To the danger that's behind, tarantara I 
 Yet, when the danger's near, tarantara ! tarantara ! 
 We manage to appear, tarantara ! 
 As insensible to fear. 
 As anybody here, tarantara ! 
 Tarantara ! tarantara-ra-ra-ra-ra-ra ! 
 Mabel. Sergeant, approach. Young Frederic was to have 
 led you to death and glory. 
 
 All. That is not a pleasant way of putting it. 
 Mabel. No matter. He will not so lead you, for he ha* 
 allied himself once more with his old associates. 
 All. He has acted shamefully ! 
 
 Mabel. You speak falsely ; you know nothing about it. He 
 has acted nobly ! 
 
 All. He has acted nobly ! 
 . Mabel. Dearly as I loved him before, his heroic sacrifice to 
 his sense of duty has endeared him to me tenfold ; but if it was 
 his duty to constitute himself my foe, it is likewise my duty to 
 regard hira in that light. He has done his duty ; I will do 
 mine. Go ye and do yours. {Exit Mabel E. I. E.) 
 
 All. Very well. 
 Sergeant. This is perplexing. 
 All. We cannot understand it at all. 
 Sergean*. Still, if he is actuated by a sense of duty — 
 All. That makes a difference, of course. At the same time, 
 we repeat we cannot understand it. 
 
 Sergeant. No matter. Our course is clear ; we must do 
 our best to capture these pirates alone. It is most distressing to 
 as to be the agents whereby our erring fellow-creatures are de- 
 prived of that liberty which is so dear to all, but we should have 
 thought of that before we joined the force. 
 All. We should. 
 Sergeant. It is too late now. 
 All. It is. 
 
 Song. — Sergeant. 
 When a felon's not engaged in his employment — 
 All. His employment, 
 
 Sergeant. Or nllituring his felonious little plans — 
 All. Little plans, 
 
 Sergeant. His capacity for innocent enjoyment — 
 All. -Cent enjoynicnt
 
 33 
 
 Sergeant. Is just as great as any houest man's — 
 
 All. Honest man's. 
 
 Sergeant. Our feelings we with difficulty smother — 
 
 All. -Culty smother, 
 
 Sergeant. When constabulary duty's to be done — 
 
 All, To be done. 
 
 Sergeant. Ah, take one consideration with another — 
 
 All. AVith another, 
 
 Sergeant. A policeman's lot is not a happy one — 
 
 All. Happy one. 
 
 When constabulary duty's to be done — 
 
 To be done — 
 The policeman's lot is not a happy one — 
 
 Ha])py one ! 
 Sergeant. When the enterprising burglar's not a-burgling — 
 All. Not a-burgling, 
 
 Sergeant. When the cutthroat isn't occupied in crime — 
 All. -Pied in crime. 
 
 Sergeant. He loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling — 
 All. Brook a-gurgling. 
 
 Sergeant. And listen to the merry village chime — 
 All. Village chime. 
 
 Sergeant. When the coster's finished jumping on his mother — 
 All. On his mother, 
 
 Sergeant, He loves to lie a-basking in the sun — 
 All. In the sun. 
 
 Sergeant. Ah, take one consideration with another — 
 All. With another. 
 
 Sergeant. The policeman's lot is not a happy one — 
 All. Happy one ! 
 
 When constabulary duty's to be done — 
 
 To be done, 
 The policeman's lot is not a happy one — 
 
 Happy one ! 
 
 Chorus of Pirates Outside, in the Distance. 
 
 A rollicking band of pirates we, 
 Who, tired of tossing on the sea. 
 Are trying their hand at a burglaree 
 With weapons grim and gory ! 
 
 Serg. Hush! hush ! I hear them on the manor poaching; 
 With stealthy step the j)irates are approaching. 
 
 Chorus of Pirates resumed Nearer. 
 We are not coming for plate or gold — 
 A story Oenoral Stanley told —
 
 o4 
 
 We seek a penalty fifty -fold 
 For General Stanley's story. 
 
 Police. They <eek a penalty. 
 
 Pirates. {Without.) Fifty-fold! 
 
 We seek a penalty fifty-fold ! 
 All. We f seek a penalty fifty-fold 
 
 They \ for General Stanley's story. 
 Police. They come m force, 
 
 With stealthy stride ; 
 Our obvious course 
 Is now to hide. 
 
 [^Police conceal themselves in aisle L. As they do so the PircttK 
 with Ruth ayid Frederic, are seen appearing at ruined win 
 daw C. They enter cautiously, and come down stage on tiptoe. 
 The King is laden with burglarious tools and pistols, etc. etc.) 
 
 Chorus. — Pirates. 
 ( Very loud.) With cat-like tread 
 
 Upon our prey we steal — 
 In silencp dread 
 
 Our cautious way we feel. 
 
 Police. (Pianissimo.) Tarantara! tarantaral 
 Pirates. No sound at all : 
 
 We nev'jr speak a word ; 
 A fly's footfall 
 
 Would be distinctly heard. 
 Police. Tarantara! tarantara! 
 
 Pirates. Ha! ha! 
 
 Ho! ho! 
 
 So stealthily the pirate creeps 
 While all the houseliold soundly sleepn. 
 Gurr ! gu rr ! 
 
 Gurr ! gurr ! (Imitating snoring.) 
 Ha! ha'. Ho! ho!^^ 
 Police. (Piunissimo.) Tarantara! Tarantaral 
 
 (Forte.) Tarantara! 
 
 Pirates. Come friends, who plough the sea, 
 Truce to navigation ; 
 Take another station ; 
 Let us. vary piracy 
 With a little l)urglary ! 
 Samuel. Here's your crowbar 
 
 And your centre-bit; 
 Your life-preserver — 
 You raav want to hit!
 
 35 
 
 Your silent matches, 
 
 Your dark-lautern seize ; 
 Take your file and your skeleton keys? 
 Pirates. With catlike tread, etc. 
 Police. Tarantara, tarantara, etc. 
 Regit. — Fred. 
 Hush ! not a word ! I see a light inside. 
 (^Looks through keyhole L.) 
 
 The major-general comes, so quickly hide. 
 Major-Generai-. ( Without.) Yes, yes, the major-geueral 
 
 comes. 
 Pi RATIOS. He comes I 
 Major-Gexeral. {Entering in dressing-gown, carrying a 
 
 light.) Yes, yes, I come! 
 Police. He comes I 
 Major-General, Yes, yes, I come. 
 All. The major-general comes ! 
 
 Solo. — General. 
 Tormented with the anguish dread 
 
 Of falsehood unatoned, 
 I lay upon my sleepless bed, 
 
 xVnd tossed and turned and groaned. 
 The man who finds his conscience ache 
 
 No peace at all enjoys ; 
 And as I lay in bed awake 
 I thought I heard a noise. 
 Pirates. He thought he heard a noise ! 
 
 Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! 
 Police. He thought he heard a noise ! 
 
 Tarantara-ra-ra ! 
 General. No, all is still 
 
 In dale, on hill ; 
 My mind is set at case. 
 So still the scene 
 It might have been 
 Tbe sighing of the breeze. 
 
 Ballad. — Generai>. 
 
 Sighing softly to the river 
 
 Comes the lonely breeze, 
 Setting Nature all a-quiver. 
 
 Rustling through the tre**. 
 
 Through the trees.
 
 36 
 
 General. And the brook in rippling measure 
 Laughs for very love, 
 While the poplars iu their pleasure 
 Wave their arms above. 
 Police and Pirates. Yes, the trees for very love 
 
 Wave their leafy arms above. 
 River, river, little river ! 
 May thy loving prosper ever ! 
 Heaven speed the poplar tree! 
 May thy wooing happy he ! 
 General. Yes, the breeze is but a rover ! 
 When he wings away, 
 Brook and poplar mourn a lover, 
 Sighing " Well-a-day !" 
 All. Well-a-day ! 
 
 General. Ah, the doing and undoing 
 That the rogue could tell ! 
 When the breeze is out a-wooiug, 
 Who can woo so well ? 
 Police ajid Pirates. Shocking talcs the rogue could tell, 
 Nobody can woo so well ! 
 Pretty brook, thy dream is over, 
 For thy love is but a rover. 
 Sad the lot of poplar trees 
 Courted by a fickle breeze ! 
 (Enter the General's daughters, led by Mabel, all m wh%tt 
 'peignoirs and nightcaps, and carrying candles.) 
 Girls. Now, wliat is this ? and what is that ? and why doei 
 father leave his rest 
 At such a time of night as this, so very incompletely dressed-? 
 Dear father is, and always was, the most methodical of men ; 
 It's his invariable rule to go to bed at half-past ten. 
 What strange occurrence can it be that calls dear father from 
 
 his rest 
 At such a time of night as this, su very, so very incompletelj 
 dressed ? 
 Kino. {Springing up.) Forw'ard, my men, and seize that 
 general there ! 
 His life is over. 
 General. The pirates ! Oh, despair ! 
 Mabel a?u^ Girls. The pirates! the pirates! 
 
 Oh, despair 1 
 Pirates. Yes, ) "^j we are th s pirates, so despair I 
 General. Frederic here ? Oh joy! oh rapture! — 
 
 Summon your men and effect their capture. 
 Mabel. Frederic, save ns '
 
 .^7 
 
 Fred. Btautifiil Mabel, 
 
 I would if I could, but I am not abift. 
 Pirates. He's telling the truth ; he is uot able. 
 
 {They seize the General.) 
 
 King. With base deceit 
 
 You worked ujjou our fceliugs ; 
 
 Revenge is sweet, 
 And flavors all our dealings. 
 
 Witli courage rare, 
 And resolution manly, 
 For death prepare, 
 Unhappy General Stanley! 
 Fred. {Coining J'orivard.) Alas! alas! unliap[)y General 
 
 Stauicjf 
 Police. {Piauissiino.) Tarantara! tarantara! 
 
 (They bind the General to broken pillar C.) 
 
 Mabel. (Wildly.) Is he to die, uushriven aud unannealedT 
 
 Girls. Oh spare him ! 
 
 Mabel. Will no one in his cause a weapon wield ? 
 
 Girls. Oh spare him ! 
 
 Police. (Springing up.) Yes, we are here, though hitherto 
 
 concealed. 
 
 Girls. Oh, rapture ! 
 
 Police. So to our powos, pirates, quickly yield ! 
 
 Girls. Oh, rajjture! 
 
 (A struggle ensues between Pirates and Police, RuTn tackling 
 Sergeant. Eventually the Police are overcome and fall pros 
 trute, the Pirates standing over them xoith drawn swords.) 
 
 Pirates. Police. 
 
 We triumph now, for well we You triumph now, ibr well w. 
 
 troAv trow 
 
 Your mortal career's cut Our mortal career's cm 
 
 short ; short ; 
 
 No pirate band will take its No i)irate band will take iii> 
 
 stand stand 
 
 At the Central Criminal At the Central Criminal 
 
 Court. Court. 
 
 General. To gain a brief advantage you've contrived. 
 
 But your proud trjum})h will not be lojig-lived ! 
 
 King. Don't say you're orphans, ibr we know that gane. 
 
 Sergeant. On your allegiance we've a stronger claim : 
 
 We charge you yield, in Queen Victoria's name! 
 
 King. (Baffled.) lou doV
 
 38 
 
 Police. We do ! 
 
 Wp charge yon yield in Queen Victoria's name! 
 
 {Pirates kneel ; Police stand over them trituuphanily.) 
 
 King. We yield at once with humbled rairn, 
 
 Becnise, with all our faults, we love our queen. 
 Police. Yes, yes, with all their faults they love their queen. 
 
 Police, holdiuQ Pirates by the collar, take out luindkercKiefs f>.nd 
 
 weep.) 
 
 General. Away with them, and place them at the bar ! 
 Ruth. One moment: let me tell you who they are. 
 
 They are no members of the common throng ; 
 
 They are all noblemen who have gone wrong. 
 General, Police, and GrRLS. What! ^/T noblemen? 
 King and Pirates. Yes, all noblemen! 
 General, Police, a«cZ Gt^tji What! All? 
 King. Well, nearly all. 
 
 General. No Englishman unmoved that statement hears, 
 
 Because, with all our faults, we love our House of 
 Peers ! 
 
 (All kneel.) 
 
 Recit. — General. 
 
 I pray you pardon me, ex-pirate king ; 
 
 Peers will be peers, and youth will have its fling. 
 
 Resume your ranks and legislative duties, 
 
 And take my daughters, all of whom are beauties, 
 
 {All rise. Each Pirate takes a Girl.) 
 
 FINALE. 
 Ruth. At length we are provided, with unusual facility, 
 
 To change piratic crime for dignified respectability 
 King. Combined, I needn't say, with the unparalleled 
 
 felicity 
 Of what we have been longing for — unbounded 
 domesticity. 
 Mabel. To-morrow morning early we will quickly be par- 
 soniticd — 
 llyraeneally coupled, conjugally matrimoiufied. 
 Skroeant. And this shall be accomplished by th*. doctoi 
 of divinity 
 Who hap]>ily resides in the immedi*>. ;idity. 
 Ohoku.'^. Who happily resides in the inmied'tit uinity.
 
 89 
 
 QmSRAL. My military knowledge, though I'id j)lucky aud 
 adventury, 
 Has ouly been brought down to the beginning of 
 
 the century ; 
 But still, in getting off my daughters — eight or 
 
 nine or ten in all — 
 I've shown myself the model of a modern major 
 general, 
 KijAj. Hia military knowledge, etc. 
 
 (Dance.) 
 CVKIAIM
 
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