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 Francifi «fe Lroutrel 
 
 STATIONERS, 
 
 PBINTins i BOOK BINDUM 
 
 46 Maiden Iiane, 
 
 KEW YORK. »
 
 TELL JESUS: 
 
 RECOLLECTIONS OF EMILY GOSSE. 
 
 BY 
 
 ANNA SHIPTON, 
 
 AUTHOR OF "the LOST BLESSING," "THE SECRET OF THE 
 
 LORD," "THE PROMISE AND THE PROMISER," 
 
 "asked OF GOD," ETC. 
 
 NEW YORK : 
 PUBLISHED BY T. Y. CROWELL. 
 
 744 Broadway.
 
 
 ^ci^'-i:^ ^ il4'^ 
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 -•o*— 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 Pagx. 
 First Acquaintance, 19 
 
 CHAPTER IL 
 The Life of Faith, 43 
 
 CHAPTER m. 
 Premonitions, 62 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 Diligence in Service, 77 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 The Patience of Hope, 96 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 Departure, 131 
 
 3
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 Y recollections of one dear to us, 
 and dearer still to God, have no 
 pretension to be termed a memoir. 
 Out of tlie many testimonies that Emily 
 Gosse bore for her beloved Lord, my mem- 
 ory most vividly retains those which affected 
 my own spiritual life ; this has, therefore, 
 obliged me to write more of myself than I 
 desired. 
 
 M}* acquaintance with her, which was 
 rapidly to ripen into an everlasting friend- 
 ship, began only in the last two years of her 
 earthly pilgrimage, and I did but gather up 
 tlie crumbs from the table, at which she 
 feasted with the King. These have been 
 multiplied as the fragments of old, and 
 
 5
 
 6 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 have nourished others ; for the Lord com- 
 manded them to be gathered. 
 
 Amonsr manv witnesses to the blessing; 
 which has followed the simple incidents of 
 the following pages, and induced me to 
 commit them to the press, was a dear Chris- 
 tian girl, to whom tlie recital bore a mes- 
 sage as distinct, as the angel's commission 
 to the women at the tomb of the risen Jesus. 
 
 A fortnight after I had told her of the 
 value to my soul of tlie two words which 
 form the title of my " Recollections," she 
 said : 
 
 " Last Monday I was asked by Mrs. " 
 
 (a West End milliner to whom she was ap- 
 prenticed), " to take a bonnet to a lady in 
 Hyde Park. It was required by a certain 
 hour. Qiiite unexpectedly to me, when I 
 arrived at the house, the lady desired some 
 alteration to be made, and I was requested 
 to go into the drawing-room and make it 
 there, as not sufficient time i-emained for 
 nie to return with it. 
 
 " The work was beyond my experience ;
 
 INTRODUCTION. 7 
 
 T was SO nervous, I could not thread my 
 needle ; I was afraid to touch what our 
 best hands had put together. I knew not 
 what to do. The servant placed the mate- 
 rials before me, and explained what was re 
 quired, and I was left alone. 
 
 " All at once the words you said the last 
 time I came to you flashed through my 
 mind. ' Do not fret: tell Jesus. Tell Jesus 
 everything ; he will guide and help you.' 
 I thought, as I looked at the white tulle and 
 flowers, ' Can I ask him to help me with 
 this bonnet?' You had told me that Mrs. 
 Gosse had said that she would ask Jesus to 
 guide her to a pin, if she wanted one. 
 
 " I did tell Jesus ; I asked to be directed 
 in my difficult task, and also for the lady to 
 be disposed to like the bonnet when it was 
 finished. Soon I lost all nervousness ; the 
 alteration was completed, and the lady re- 
 turned for answer, that it was quite to her 
 taste. Then, for the first time, I understood 
 the meaning of a ' Living Jesus,' and from 
 that hour I learned the comfort of telling 
 him everything."
 
 8 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 And it was true. After that time there 
 was a vitality in the spiritual life of this 
 dear child, which is often sorely lacking in 
 more advanced Christians. Without Jesus, 
 we can do nothing; with him, all things 
 are possible. We may darken counsel by 
 words without knowledge. Vainly of our- 
 selves we set bread before the hungry. 
 Unless he eat thereof, however much he 
 admires the feast, it profiteth him nothing. 
 
 This early gathered blossom was another 
 seal to the faithfulness of Him who saith, 
 " Them that honor me I will honor." The 
 most striking feature of her new life, in the 
 brief hour of testimony accorded to her 
 below, was the simplicity of her faith, which 
 enabled her to realize unceasing fellowship 
 with Jesus, to the joy of her own soul, and 
 the strengthening and refreshing of others. 
 
 To the faint-hearted, who see little or no 
 result from their labors, I would say, " Be 
 patient." It was only in the last days of 
 her life that my helpful friend knew that in 
 any way she had been blessed to me. I did
 
 INTRODUCTION. 9 
 
 not at once use the privilege which she had 
 shown me was mine; but, blending with 
 her unconscious influence, the seed was 
 more efficiently taking root, and fulfilling 
 that for which I had been sent to her. I 
 " kept all these things, and pondered them " 
 in my heart. 
 
 I lacked the realization of that first truth, 
 that the Son of God, in the glory of the 
 Father, which he had with him before the 
 foundation of the world, remained in his 
 high-priestly office the Son of Man, touched 
 with the feeling of our infirmities. And of 
 the perfect humanity of Jesus, which made 
 him still the brother born for adversity, I 
 knew nothing. 
 
 The daily life of one whose eye is single 
 is full of light, and cannot fail to speak for 
 God. " Thev shall not labor in vain, nor 
 bring forth for trouble ; for they are the seed 
 of the blessed of the Lord, and their off- 
 spring with them." But of the times and 
 seasons when this shall be manifest knoweth 
 no man. We walk by faith, not by sight
 
 10 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 It is enough that he has said that our labor 
 for him shall not be in vain. Pra\er is 
 answered, we know ; but there is no prom- 
 ise as to manner or time. God's way is the 
 safest ; God's time is the best. 
 
 The dews of many a night of weeping, 
 and the scorching breath of many a fur- 
 nace fire, passed over the Word of Life ir. 
 my soul before I entered into its power , 
 therefore, while we watch and pray, let us 
 hope in God. " Behold, the husbandmai\ 
 waiteth for the precious fruit of the earth, 
 and hath long patience for it, until he 
 receive the early and latter rain ! " 
 
 Dear reader, if you know Jesus as youi 
 Saviour, beware lest Satan beguile you to 
 believe that you have one want or care too 
 minute for the consideration of 'iie God of 
 the whole earth. All things were made by 
 him and for him. 
 
 Soon after I began to observe this truth, 
 [ was sitting, in a time of weakness and 
 loneliness, on the sea-shore — a stranger in 
 a strange place. It soothed me to watch the
 
 INTRODUCTION. 1 1 
 
 tide, as it ebbed, sweep away or deposit 
 some stray shell or weed upon the strand; 
 and I mused on the mission of some of the 
 treasures that, in its mighty tide-work, the 
 sea brought or left behind. 
 
 It was an evening in autumn, and not a 
 loiterer was left on the shore, excepting a 
 nurse and two young children — the elder a 
 fine boy of about four years old. 
 
 The child looked wistfully at me. I smil- 
 ed at him, and he returned it. In a few 
 minutes I felt a light touch upon my arm, 
 and his blooming cheek was laid on mv 
 knee, ds he earnestly gazed in my face with 
 an expression of loving sympathy. Per- 
 haps he had some sick one at home, and 
 knew the power of his sweet smiles. No 
 matter: God sent him. 
 
 We talked together like old friends, and 
 my heart lost its loneliness beneath the lov- 
 ing ministration. At length he started off 
 beyond my reach. I watched him eagerly 
 seeking among the weeds for shells. One 
 after another he held them to the light, cast
 
 12 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 ing aside each one that was broken, as un« 
 suitable for his purpose. 
 
 At last his busy fingers held up one which 
 gave him satisfaction, and after examining 
 it carefully, he polished it with his coat, and 
 then, with a triumphant smile, advanced 
 and laid it on my knee; then, stepping 
 back a few paces, he evidently enjoyed my 
 unfeigned delight. " For you," he lisped 
 out — " only for you — all for you," as if I 
 might doubt my right to his gift. 
 
 Amid tender words and kisses we said 
 farewell, and my little God-sent messenger 
 reluctantly obeyed the call of his nurse, and 
 followed her. 
 
 The shell lay in my hand ; my soul had 
 risen like a lark above the clouds ; and, with 
 a glad " Hallelujah," I praised the God of 
 the whole earth. 
 
 Again the little fellow was at my side, 
 breathless. He gave an anxious glance at 
 the shell, and then looked coaxingly in my 
 face, while he said, '• You will not give it 
 away, will you?" I assured him I would
 
 INTRODUCTION. 1 3 
 
 keep it and prize it for his sake. The child 
 was^one, and I saw him no more. 
 
 I do not own many treasures; if I have 
 any, I count that fragile shell among the 
 choicest of them — a token from my heav- 
 enly Father's hand. His baby minstrel had 
 tuned my heart to songs of gladness : his 
 music, the lisping words of a child ; his 
 instrument, a tiny transparent shell, that 
 not a wave could break without his will. I 
 went on my way rejoicing. 
 
 Such an incident is puerile to those 
 who have not cherished the remembrance of 
 sadness and tears which manifested the 
 soothing hand of the compassionate God- 
 man while he whispered, " I will never 
 leave thee, nor forsake thee." 
 
 Some few years ago a remarkable trial 
 for murder took place in Paris. The facts 
 were briefly as follows : — A man who had 
 lived unhappily with his wife determined to 
 poison her. Long he waited his opportu- 
 nity of administering the deadly powder. 
 One day, during their dinner, while serving,
 
 14 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 the husband mixed the poison in his wife's 
 food ; but when he had done so, he could 
 not endure to see her eat it, and, making 
 some excuse, he arose and left the table. 
 During his absence from the room, and be- 
 fore the wife could partake of the food, her 
 eye was attracted by a spider, which let it- 
 self down by its thread from the ceiling 
 upon her plate, over which it crawled. 
 Disgusted at the sight, she could not eat her 
 portion, but thinking that, as her husband 
 had not seen it, it would not affect him, she 
 changed their plates before he re-entered 
 the room. The man ate, and in a short 
 time was seized with cramp, and every 
 symptom of poison was evident. The 
 woman was taken into custody on suspicion 
 of having poisoned him. She declared her 
 innocence, and, on being questioned, related 
 the circumstance of the spider, which caused 
 her to change plates. The husband struck 
 by the wonderful work of a little spider in 
 staying his hand from murder, confessed all, 
 and died.
 
 INTRODUCTION. 1 5 
 
 The ant, the spicier, the limpet on the 
 rock, the mote that dances in the sunbeam, 
 have each their assigned place ; and He 
 who created them can use them for his own 
 will and pleasure. He formed the mysteri- 
 ous chords within us, that thrill or sadden 
 beneath a touch, discerned by none but him- 
 self. Nor is he who rules the worlds un- 
 mindful of the least want or sigh of the soul 
 that he has died to save. 
 
 " Casting ALL your care upon him," does 
 not imply such concerns as the natural intel- 
 lect may decide on as fit occasions for faith 
 and prayer. It necessarily includes whatso- 
 ever can burden, or tempt, or grieve a child 
 of that Father, who declares that the very 
 hairs of our head are numbered. 
 
 Prove the blessed truth of faith in Jesus. 
 Give him the first place in your heart and 
 counsels; soon you will feel that you cannot 
 do without him in the least matter, and 
 every occasion of going to him will result 
 in new manifestations of h^ love and faith- 
 fulness. Onlv trv it !
 
 1 6 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 Whate'er thy sin, whate'er thy sorrow be, 
 Tell all to Jesus ; He who, looking where 
 The weary-hearted weep, still draweth near 
 To listen fondly to the half-formed prayer, 
 And read the silent pleading- of a tear. 
 Lose not thy privilege, O silent soul ! 
 Pour out thy sorrow at thy Saviour's feet. 
 What outcast spurns the hand tliat gives the dole ? 
 Oh let him hear thy voice I To him thy voice is swoet. 
 
 I am greatly indebted to ]SIr. Gosse for 
 permission to extract from his narrative, 
 "the last days on earth" of his belovec' 
 wife.* 
 
 I also acknowledge the affectionate testi- 
 mony of one who knew her worth, and 
 walked with her in an unbroken friendship 
 for nearly twenty years. Among the cups 
 of cold water, given because we belong to 
 Jesus, may he remember her heart-cheering 
 sympathy in this feeble effort to bear wit- 
 ness to the experimental blessedness of fel- 
 lowship with God in Christ Jesus; not only 
 for ourselves and for the church, but before 
 the world. It is committed to Him whose 
 
 * " A Memorial of the Last Days on 'Earth of Emily Gosse, 
 By her husband, Philip Henry Gosse, F.R.S."
 
 INTRODUCTION. 1/ 
 
 blessing can alone cause it to speak for him, 
 and to him be all the glory. 
 
 I have but gathered one eur of the pre- 
 cious grain of Emily Gosse's harvest : sow- 
 ing and reaping, we shall rejoice together. 
 2
 
 TELL JESUS. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 
 "The memory of the jnst is blessed."— Prov. x. 7. 
 
 WAS Still groping in the twi- 
 
 light of spiritual dawn when I 
 first met Emily Gosse. She ap- 
 peared to me then, as she lives in my 
 memory to this hour, as one of God's epis- 
 tles, known and read of all men, whose 
 influence, through the love therein writ- 
 ten, leaves the reader nearer heaven than 
 it found him. 
 
 I had passed from death unto life, 
 though I was not peacefully resting on 
 the infallible testimony of the Word of 
 
 19
 
 20 TELL JESUS. 
 
 God that it was so. I was seeking for 
 assurance from the ever-varying testi- 
 mony of feeling, encumbered by errors 
 and superstitions, and only a little while 
 before had I even known the way of sal- 
 vation. I acknowledged that Jesus, the 
 only begotten Son of God, was the Si- 
 viour of sinners, and that therefore, know- 
 ing myself a sinner, I might lay claim to 
 redemption from eternal death through 
 him. But I was seldom able to say, " My 
 Saviour." That he had saved me from 
 the doom of the scorner, I could under- 
 stand ; but as my Saviour from sin — as 
 the Good Physician — as the counselor 
 of my daily difficulties — as the risen liv- 
 ing Jesus — the companion and friend of 
 my life, I had not then beheld him. 
 
 Until I met Emily Gosse, I had never 
 seen a child of God following the Lord 
 fully, in happy, cheerful confidence ; nor 
 witnessed Christ and his glory in the life 
 of man or woman, as the one sole object
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 21 
 
 of their existence. The sight of it in her 
 won my heart to desire the same happy 
 path of single-eyed service. I remember 
 with what silent delight I watched her 
 unconscious testimony for Him, who was 
 ere long to be realized in my soul as my 
 own living, loving Lord ! 
 
 I had arranged to pass the last summer 
 months of that to me eventful year in the 
 near neighborhood of old friends, pleas- 
 ant to me after the flesh, but in nowise 
 adapted to lead me on the heavenly road, 
 on which, though blindfolded and lame, 
 I had set forth. 
 
 Business required my presence in Lon- 
 don, previously to taking possession of my 
 apartments. While there, a lady, almost 
 a stranger, called, and requested, as a per- 
 sonal favor, that I would accompany a 
 young relative to the coast, partly with a 
 view to change of air, but more particu- 
 larly to give her and a friend the opportu- 
 nity of meeting with Mr. Gosse, for the
 
 22 TELL JESUS. 
 
 purpose of studying the world of wonders 
 beneath the waters, for which his interest- 
 ing works had prepared them. To this 
 day, when my eyes rest upon an aquarium 
 (for never since that year have I seen 
 those mysterious sea-flowers in the crystal 
 pools of their own rocky homes,) I re- 
 trace the links which drew me nearer to 
 the great Creator of their beauty, and read 
 therein, not only tokens of his infinite 
 wisdom, but a message of love known only 
 to him and me. 
 
 My plans were made, and very pleasant 
 plans they seemed. They had been 
 formed without any reference to the will 
 of the Lord in the matter. I knew, by 
 the hearing of the ear, that he taketh 
 heed of the fall of the sparrow, yet I 
 honored him not by believing that Jie 
 setteth the bounds of the habitation of 
 the feeblest child of his family. I had not 
 disregarded my proximity to the means of 
 grace, in my settlement in my new abode ;
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 23 
 
 but I had equally sought to be near my 
 friends. 
 
 I at once declined the invitation to the 
 coast, and that so decidedly, that the lady 
 could no longer press it, and we parted. 
 The Lord was guiding, though blind eyes 
 saw it not. On the eve of my quitting 
 London the lady returned, more urgent in 
 her request than even before. Perhaps 
 she had prayed that it might be granted ; 
 certain it is, that the Lord's purpose of 
 infinite love was in it ; for suddenly, with- 
 out being able to assign any cause for the 
 change in my feelings all my former 
 disinclination to her proposal vanished. 
 Without any further objection, I consent- 
 ed to accompany her young friends to 
 Ilfracombe, whither they were going for 
 the purpose of studying the zoophytes, in 
 which pursuit they were deeply interested. 
 
 In place, therefore, of returning to my 
 self-chosen nest, I went forth, and continue 
 up to this day a pilgrim, whose only home 
 is in heaven.
 
 24 TELL JESUS. 
 
 It was a dreary and fatiguing journey, 
 and its termination offered nothing to 
 compensate for much that I had given up 
 to undertake it. I felt weary and lonely, 
 as every living soul must be, apart from 
 the changeless peace which is found in 
 Jesus only. 
 
 The second week of our stay had closed, 
 and I was ardently longing for the time of 
 our departure ; but my heavenly Father 
 had ordained it all, and had guided me, 
 though I knew it not. It was at this 
 juncture that he sent to my side the wise 
 and tender minister of good tidings, in 
 the wife of the Christian naturalist of 
 whom I was hearing so much. 
 
 As soon as I saw the face of Mrs. Gosse, 
 I longed to know her better. She was fair, 
 and appeared more youthful than her years 
 from her small delicate features, and the 
 artless childhke smile which lighted her 
 countenance when animated. I have seen 
 it literally sparkling with joy, when unex-
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 2$ 
 
 pectedly brought into contact with those 
 who loved her Lord, or when recognizing 
 some expression of his ever watchful care. 
 
 Whether the Lord veiled the state of 
 my spiritual life from her, I know not. I 
 listened to her with unmixed pleasure, 
 though I hardly dare aver that I was fed. 
 But I marked her steps, and they chimed 
 sweet music ; the bells proclaimed " Holi- 
 ness unto the Lord." There was much 
 new and strange to me ; some intermedi- 
 ate tones seemed lacking in ' my soul for 
 perfect harmony between what I had re- 
 ceived and that which I beheld in her. 
 
 Anticipations of a home undisturbed 
 by sin or sorrow, where I could forever 
 behold Jesus, had often filled my heart 
 with gladness. I read that he was gone 
 to prepare a place for his people, and had 
 promised to come again and receive them 
 to himself These thoughts brooding in 
 my soul became more tangible, as I saw 
 her daily rejoicing in the expectation of
 
 26 TELL JESUS. 
 
 the return of the Lord Jesus, with the 
 assurance of faith bom only of the Spirit. 
 
 But how could I rejoice in the coming 
 of the Lord, when I was not at all sure 
 that he was coming for inef I felt, for 
 the first time, the power of the life of a 
 child of God, walking with him in cheer- 
 ful childlike confidence in his love, I 
 yearned for that good land which she 
 possessed, though I was not at all con- 
 vinced that /lef blessed inheritance was — 
 could be — for one so unworthy — for me, 
 such a sinner ! 
 
 I had never seen the simplicity of faith 
 which ever walks in heavenly humility. 
 Not the humility of ser\dle fear, which 
 the world recognizes in sighs and groans 
 over the old Adam's utter corruption ; 
 but the trustful gaze fixed on Jesus, that 
 says, " Christ Jesus came into the world 
 to save sinners, of whom I am chief; 
 therefore my hope is in him. He is my 
 strength, and the lifter up of my head."
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 2? 
 
 Such a posture of soul better glorifies the 
 Lord of life than when our eyes rise no 
 higher than self, forgetting that we were 
 created for his praise. 
 
 I so feebly apprehended the high- 
 priestly office of him who was exalted for 
 the remission of sins, that I thought I 
 had still something to do, and that per- 
 haps for years, to test my sincerity, before 
 I could live with Jesus in the same sweet 
 familiar intimacy as my new friend. 
 
 She was a wise mother in Israel ; she 
 did not cavil at my crude opinions, nor 
 combat my errors. She did not argue 
 points of difference, which would have 
 arrayed my dominant pride and obstinacy 
 against her ; neither did she appear amaz- 
 ed at my ignorance. Her aim was to 
 show Jesus in his love and loveliness. 
 
 The love of God in Christ beamed 
 through her words and life ; like sunshine 
 melting away the clouds of prejudice, and 
 dispelling gradually my fleshly dread of
 
 28 TELL JESUS. 
 
 irreverence In taking advantage, with the 
 freedom of access that she enjoyed, of 
 that door into heaven, which the precious 
 blood-shedding had opened. John x. 7, 
 9 ; Heb. x. 19-22. 
 
 It was pre-eminently Jesus that she 
 preached ; his beauty, his loving-kindness, 
 his tender mercy ! And though that 
 happy, happy day had not then arrived 
 when I could exclaim, " This is my Belov- 
 ed, and this is my friend ! " yet, by the 
 blessing of God, I count her insensible 
 influence among the many cords of love 
 that won my weary, roving heart to find 
 its rest in him alone. 
 
 While Mr. Gosse and my young friends 
 were exploring, with the ardor of natural- 
 ists, the treasures of the deep with the 
 drag-net, or rambling over the rocks of 
 the picturesque beach, I was, from inabil- 
 ity to join them, generally within doors, 
 or sitting on the shore not far from our 
 lodgings.
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 2^ 
 
 There I occasionally met Emily, wlio^ 
 like a good householder, brought out of 
 her treasure things new and old from the 
 store of Christ's fullness. 
 
 Yet all this time she had a mother's 
 eye upon her young son, whom she care- 
 fully watched in his amusements and 
 companions. Many a lesson might nurses 
 and governesses have learned from her. 
 In clear characters might be read on all 
 she did and said, "As for me and my 
 house, we will serve the Lord." 
 
 Our interviews were always brief, gen- 
 erally interrupted, and not unfrequently 
 prevented altogether. I remember that 
 this caused me to feel irritated and disap- 
 pointed, as the natural willfulness of my 
 character desired more of her society 
 than the Lord saw fit to accord me. 
 
 Besides this, I was selfish, and she was 
 unselfish ; I longed to keep her all to 
 myself, while she sought only to be about 
 her Father's business. She loved to
 
 30 TELL JESUS, 
 
 wander among the groups assembled un- 
 der the rocks or among the bathers, dis- 
 tributing her tracts, and dropping a word 
 elsewhere for her dear Master when 
 opportunity offered ; while I would have 
 chosen her to sit by my side. 
 
 All this was not without its lesson. 
 After those days were gone, I murmured 
 against myself that I had profited so little 
 from them. Doubtless, the Lord's set 
 time was not fully come. He who had 
 found me in a desert land, and in the 
 waste, howling wilderness, was leading 
 me about, and instructing me, and — 
 blessed be his name ! — keeping me as 
 the apple of his eye. 
 
 So, day by day, Emily Gosse went on 
 her way, sowing beside all waters. The 
 joy of harvest-home is reserved for the 
 great ingathering. For myself, it was 
 only in more entire seclusion from the 
 outer world, and in deeper affliction, that 
 T learned the mystery of the new birth in
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 3 1 
 
 the promise, " Because I live, ye shall live 
 also ; " the Lord himself, without human 
 instrumentality, leading me into the truths 
 which delivered me out of bondage into 
 his glorious liberty. Certain it is, that 
 when the King had brought me into the 
 full secret of his presence, and had taught 
 me the endearing relationship of " Father," 
 my happy friend was resting from her 
 labors. 
 
 I saw Emily working for Jesus ; I did 
 nothing ; how could I when I only be- 
 lieved at distant intervals that my sins 
 were forgiven ! How could I tell of the 
 faithfulness of a covenant God, when I 
 was so often doubting his word, and dis- 
 honoring him by unbelief of his truth ? 
 
 And yet when I rejoiced in the assur- 
 ance that the Good Shepherd had indeed 
 snatched me from the pit, I wept to think 
 I had never won a soul for him who had 
 done so much for me. My thought was,
 
 32 TELL JESUS. 
 
 If I knew him, and really loved him, I 
 could work for him ; not until then. 
 
 In one of those seasons of depression 
 when too ill to quit the house, these 
 temptations especially assailed me. That 
 day I listened to a lesson fron the lips of 
 my new-found friend, which I have ever 
 since been learning ; that the subjection 
 which leads us to accept the position the 
 wisdom of the Lord assigns us, is our 
 reasonable service. Long-suffering, and 
 meekness, and patience, are fruit, though 
 often unacknowledged by any but him ; 
 fruit accepted for Christ's sake, for it is 
 the growth of his Spirit, 
 
 Emily had a peculiar faculty of illustra- 
 ting her subject in conversation, which 
 was very attractive, and this was a point of 
 sympathy between myself and her ; in all 
 else, it was hardly possible to find a 
 greater contrast, or two individuals more 
 dissimilar.
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 33 
 
 Our conversation this day called forth 
 the following illustration : 
 
 " The master of the house has a servant 
 whom he has appointed to sit in the hall 
 — perhaps alone — and only attend to his 
 bell when it rings. This man may not 
 often be required for the particular service 
 to wh'ich this bell will summon him, 
 nevertheless he is not to be doing his 
 own pleasure in the intervals. 
 
 " Would he be fulfilling the duty for 
 which he was specially placed there, if, 
 when he saw his fellow-servants engaged 
 in their respective callings, running hither 
 and thither, he joined them, and so, when 
 the bell rung, he was not in the only 
 chair where he could distinctly hear it ; 
 and had, moreover, placed himself in a 
 position which rendered him unfit for the 
 peculiar service required of him .-* Nei- 
 ther," she added, with a bright smile, 
 " should we expect the servant who knew 
 his lord's will to be unhappy, and contin- 
 
 2
 
 34 TELl, JESUS. . 
 
 ually running up stairs and knocking impa- 
 tiently at his master's door, to know what 
 he was to do next. The master had 
 already shown him what he was to do, — 
 to wait in the hall. 
 
 " So now, your service is plain enough ; 
 you must remember ' Old Betty.' Once 
 the Lord seemed to say to her, ' Go here, 
 go there ; do thfs, do that.' ' And now,' 
 the old woman said, ' He seems to say to 
 me, Betty, lie still and cough.' " 
 
 There was nothing of the teacher in 
 Emily, though she was deeply taught of 
 God. Blessing seemed to flow out from 
 her life, according to the promise, in riv- 
 ers of living water. John vii. 38. Who 
 shall follow the track of the little seed 
 that is carried on the wings of the wind .-• 
 God careth for it ; it shall be found after 
 many day.s. 
 
 Whether her attention was directed to a 
 child, or to a babe in Christ, or to a Bible 
 student in the examination of a Greek
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 35 
 
 word, there was no assumption of pedantr}' 
 or superior knowledge, which is so often 
 the loop-hole for Satan to shoot at the 
 proud in heart, even in holy teaching ; 
 and I feel assured that this must have 
 arisen from her knowledge of her own 
 heart, and her trust in the strength ol 
 Him to whom all power in heaven and 
 earth is given. 
 
 All God's family bear some resem- 
 blance to their Father, however faint, 
 which proclaims their heavenly origin to 
 those that know him. The germ of all 
 the fruit of the Holy Spirit is contained 
 in the new man in Christ Jesus. Per- 
 haps some feature is more developed 
 externally, by reason of special culture of 
 the heavenly Husbandman, through specia. 
 trials ; but other buds of promise are 
 there, opening to his eye alone, unrecog- 
 nized by others. Many a nighl and morn- 
 'ng, many a winter anjd summer, may go
 
 36 TELL JESUS. 
 
 by before they put forth their fragrance, 
 but they are there. 
 
 Dormant they lie, they are not dead; 
 
 Sown for Immanuel's land, 
 They'll blooia where heavenly foun tarns flow. 
 
 Beneath his fostering hand. 
 
 A little while we suflfer here, 
 
 A little while we weep ; 
 A little while we dare the fight. 
 
 And holy watch we keep. 
 
 And then — no more a little while 
 
 To sigh and struggle thus ; 
 But live forever, conquerors. 
 
 With Him who loveth us. 
 
 ^ ^ '1^ *> 'P ^ W 
 
 Love sheds its light over all, and seems 
 to energize the branch which draws from 
 the root, and gives forth to others. For 
 love shed abroad in the heart by the Holy 
 Ghost is a fountain of blessing wherever 
 it flows. It shone in Emily Gosse's daily 
 life. 
 
 I have seen her cheek flush, and her
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE 3/ 
 
 ready sympathy fill her eyes with tears, at 
 wrong committed agahist another ; I never 
 saw her ruflfled with any one, if the wrong 
 were directed against herself personally. 
 
 It was long before I recognized the hand 
 of man as the sword of the Lord — Isa. 
 liv. 1 6, — but when I had done so, it was 
 a well of peace to my heart. Before this, 
 I remember that in bitterness of spirit I 
 one day recounted some mortifying provo- 
 cation that I had received from a nomina. 
 Christian : it touched her heart far other- 
 wise than it had done mine. I seem to 
 feel the loving pressure of her hand upon 
 my shoulder now, as she looked tenderly 
 in my face through the tears that glistened 
 for what I had suffered, as she said, " Oh, 
 how much pride there must be to subdue 
 in your heart, for the dear Lord to let you 
 be treated thus ! " 
 
 Now I have learned to recognize the 
 hand of the Potter ; and on looking back 
 on those sorrowful days, I have traced the
 
 38 TELL JESUS. 
 
 molding skill, breaking away the clay 
 that encumbers the vessel of mercy ; and. 
 though now he has other instruments 
 for fashioning it, I love to trace it still ; 
 and soon, in the light of his unclouded 
 presence, what we know not now, we shall 
 know hereafter. I was more reserved 
 with her than with any one before or since 
 and yet the ministry I received was exact- 
 ly suited for what I should afterwards need 
 in more severe trial. 
 
 On one occasion I refused to tell her 
 what had saddened me, only because I 
 thought the cause would appear trifling to 
 her. Like her blessed Master, she found 
 nothing beneath her sympathy that could 
 cause one throb of pain. 
 
 She would not quit me until she had 
 soothed me, and this ended, of course, in 
 my telling her all. She listened with as 
 much interest as if she had to unravel 
 some deep mystery. She sat for a few 
 minutes in silence, and then asked, with
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCE. 39 
 
 the simplicity that characterized her, " Did 
 yon tell yesus?" Perhaps I looked sur- 
 prised ; I am sure I felt so : yet to her 
 the oiily surprise would be, that anything 
 could call forth our complaints to another 
 which had not first been told to Jesus. 
 
 She continued, " If I want a pin, and do 
 not know where to find one, I do not lose 
 any time in seeking for it. I ask him to 
 guide me to one, and he does so. Tell 
 me, what did John's disciples do in their 
 grief at the loss of their master .-' " 
 
 I thought only of his burial, and she 
 went on, "They took up the body and 
 buried it, and went and told J^esiis." 
 
 That word was a shaft followed by God's 
 faithful promise : " For as the rain cometh 
 down, and the snow from heaven, and re- 
 turneth not thither, but watereth the earth, 
 and maketh it bring' forth and bud, that it 
 may give seed to the sower and bread to 
 the cater ; so shall my word be that goeth 
 forth out of my mouth : it shall not re-
 
 40 TELL JESUS. 
 
 turn unto me void, but it shall accomplish 
 that which I please, and it shall prosper in 
 the thing whereto I sent it." Isa. Iv. lO. ii. 
 
 The rod laid up within the ark for me 
 that day will be seen through eternal ages ; 
 it budded, and in time blossomed. Many 
 a hope have I buried, over many a blight- 
 ed one have I wept ; but the budding rod 
 bore fruit at last. Blessed be the cove- 
 nant-keeping God ! The message of my 
 Father's love that Emily brought me has 
 never since that hour been silent. Dead 
 lips speak no more ; their echo dies not, 
 but rolls through eternity — " Tell Jesus." 
 
 In the cloud I have been called to enter, 
 I have heard no man, but Jesus only. 
 This is more than enough for the loneliest 
 and dreariest path ! 
 
 I was by this time a little prepared, 
 when I paid her a visit, and admired the 
 pleasant apartments which they occupied 
 overlooking the sea, to hear her reply : 
 
 "Yes ! it was very kind of the Lord :
 
 FIRST ACQUAINTANCK 4I 
 
 we had asked him to guide us to suitable 
 rooms, both for airy lodgings, for health's 
 sake, and also for other advantages," which 
 she proceeded to show me. 
 
 Her cheerful acquiescence, at the same 
 time, in what was denied her, was as 
 striking as her happy acknowledgment of 
 what appeared to be the most trifling 
 thing to others' eyes. 
 
 This was the first intimation I received 
 of the Good Shepherd going before his 
 .<5heep, in the minute care for their change 
 of habitation, and of the sheep knowing 
 his voice, and following him in peaceful 
 security. John x. 4. 
 
 He has not called us to go forth in our 
 own strength, but in our weakness, that 
 his strength may be perfected in it. 
 
 In committing ourselves to him for a 
 " prosperous journey," we may at first feel 
 amazed at the result ; but if taken in sim- 
 ple reliance on him who can best choose 
 our inheritance for us, we shall in the end
 
 42 TELL JESUS. 
 
 see his wisdom and love. If we are seek- 
 ing only to follow him, he will not let us 
 wander out of the way ; if we are seeking 
 something not really needful, and the in- 
 dulgence of our own will and pleasure, he 
 may indeed give us the desire of our 
 heart, and send leanness into our soul. If 
 the Good Shepherd grants us his reviving 
 presence, . we may well leave all the rest 
 to him, assured that if he has withheld 
 anything that appeared to us " good," it 
 has only been to give us something better.
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 
 "All things are yours." — i Cor. iii. 2i. 
 
 OON after these days I had a re- 
 markable dream ; if indeed I can 
 term that a dream which ap- 
 peared to me as a panorama of glorious 
 significance, and in which I had no part 
 but that of a spectator. 
 
 I beheld a chamber, dark with clouds. 
 In the center stood Emily. Angel hands 
 from out the murky atmosphere clothed 
 her in a heavy purple robe, the weight of 
 which bent her body, pale and emaciated., 
 almost to the earth. She walked as if in 
 pain and weariness ; but in their hands 
 they bore her up, lest she should dash her 
 foot against a stone. 
 
 43
 
 44 TELL JESUS. 
 
 The darkness passed, and her leet were 
 set in that " large room," that lacketh nei- 
 ther light nor freedom ; it was open to the 
 sky. Beneath the angels' ministering 
 hands the heavy robe at every step gradu- 
 ally disappeared, and more and more visi- 
 bly shone another robe, of surpassing 
 beauty, in which they clothed her. She 
 did nothing towards making herself ready ; 
 all was done for her. Her attitude was 
 that of a happy, innocent, obedient child^ 
 under the tender care of a mother who 
 arrays her in her festal garments. 
 
 How can I describe things unseen by 
 others, but by objects visible to the out- 
 ward eye .■' I know nothing to compare 
 to that robe, white as the driven snow. 
 Art and nature can give but a faint idea of 
 its beauty ! Its dazzling and transparent 
 folds were fairer than the most delicate 
 lawn, and glistened like the hoar frost in 
 its silver brightness. 
 
 As the robe descended to her feet, hex
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 45 
 
 countenance lost all trace of tirne^ and 
 pain, and weariness ; — it was renewed, 
 and beamed with youth, and health, and 
 comeliness. It was still Emily Gosse, 
 growing fairer at every step, as, conducted 
 by heavenly guides, she neared a two- 
 leaved door, which, slightly ajar, permit- 
 ted a few bright, slanting rays of golden 
 light to fall upon the step. 
 
 The sight of her child appeared to ar- 
 rest the happy pilgrim. She paused. Im- 
 mediately the angelic hands were with- 
 drawn into the clouds, — no longer the 
 dark, heavy clouds of the smaller chamber, 
 but the summer clouds of the "large 
 room." A basket of fruit was near her. 
 She seemed to search amongst it for the 
 ripest, and chose what appeared to me then 
 a Maltese or blood orange : for it was di- 
 t^ided down the center, and appeared of a 
 bright crimson color, which may have 
 represented a pomegranate. 
 
 When the child had received the fruit,
 
 46 TELL JESUS. 
 
 Emily appeared satisfied, and her ange 
 attendants resumed their office of leading 
 her onwards. Every movement exactly 
 resembled that of a blind person, commit- 
 ting herself unreservedly to the safe con- 
 duct of a Friend who knew the way, and 
 guided every step, to the home where she 
 was a welcome guest. 
 
 "As when some helpless wanderer. 
 
 Alone in an unknown land, 
 Tells the guide his destined place of rest, 
 
 And leaves all else in his hand; 
 'Tis home, tis home that we wish to reach; 
 
 He who guides us may choose the way; 
 Little we heed what path we take, 
 
 If nearer home each day." 
 
 The chamber was crossed ; she stood 
 npon the step of the entrance, and the 
 door gradually opened. Within, a street 
 was visible, clear as crystal, bright with 
 golden rays surpassing sunlight. Gn the 
 side revealed to my sight were open gal- 
 leries of most delicate tracery ; these
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 47 
 
 were filled with angelic forms bent in ex- 
 pectation toward the door ; thousands of 
 glorious beings thronged to welcome the 
 ew comer ; every head was turned to- 
 
 ards the entrance. 
 
 The unutterable peace of the pilgrim's 
 ace as she proceeded I have never for- 
 gotten, nor the rest which her closed 
 eyes expressed. I have often thought it 
 intimated that this vision of her spirit 
 beauty, given me to behold, was as yet 
 hidden from her eyes. Her foot was on 
 the threshold, and then all faded from my 
 sight. 
 
 That wondrous scene lives in my mem- 
 ory, as if photographed on my mind's eye ; 
 but how describe it .-' I vainly seek for 
 words to paint its beauty to others. 
 
 Often it was on my IFps to tell Emily 
 the " dream that I had dreamed." She 
 was essentially a practical person, and 1 
 dreaded thatwshe would not receive the
 
 48 TELl. J Kb US. 
 
 sweet, and to me solemn, vision, and I 
 held my peace. 
 
 However, doubtless it was sent to her 
 through me ; for I felt a shadow and op- 
 pression on my soul until I had told her. 
 
 One morning, most unexpectedly, I was 
 led to describe it to her. To my surprise, 
 she listened in rapt attention ; and after a 
 few days she requested me to repeat my 
 golden dream. 
 
 She remarked, " I have thought only of 
 the Lord's coming ; not of walking 
 through the Valley of the Shadow of 
 Death. Perhaps he will send for me, after 
 all." 
 
 But she was well, and strong, and 
 bright, and prepared to meet him for 
 whom she watched. She walked with her 
 garments girded and her light burning ; 
 she was, indeed, one who watched for her 
 Lord. I 
 
 Soon after this, Mr. and Mrs. Gosse left 
 for London, and I heard no more of her
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 49 
 
 until the following spring, when I received 
 a note reminding me of my promise to 
 visit her ; and as I was then at a conven- 
 ient distance from London, she invited 
 me to spend two days with her in the fol- 
 lowing week. I did so. 
 
 I had scarcely arrived, when, as was 
 often the case, she was sent for on some 
 errand of mercy, and, as she said, " to 
 keep me company until her return," she 
 placed in my hands "A Narrative of the 
 Lord's Dealings with George Miiller," a 
 work of which I had never before heard. 
 
 If Emily Gosse's faith in the daily 
 watchful care of her Almighty Friend 
 had startled me, she had now left me food 
 for meditation, wonder, admiration and 
 love. 
 
 God is good ! I never for a moment 
 doubted this reality ; and I read on, and 
 on, until I came to a passage in which Mr. 
 Miiller narrates how he once had need 
 of an arm-chair in his bedroom, when an 
 4
 
 50 TELL JESUS. 
 
 invalid on a visit to a friend, and how the 
 Lord tenderly took heed of the want, so 
 that when he next entered his bed-cham- 
 ber he found it there. 
 
 Of the sums this man of God has won 
 from heaven's treasury, for the support of 
 thousands of orphans, for the extension of 
 the building, for the circulation of the 
 Scriptures, and the help of missionary 
 laborers, I have read and marveled. But 
 when this simple fact of the care of his 
 heavenly Father was recorded, it had 
 another mission. It was just fitted for my 
 grasp ; the tiny thread of faith which just 
 such a babe could hold. It drew me on 
 until I realized, "This God is my God 
 forever and ever ; he shall be my guide 
 even unto death ! " 
 
 * * * I longed for the book. I did 
 not ask for the loan of it ; I was too poor 
 to purchase it. The Lord's way was the 
 best. I had learned experimentally some- 
 thing of the faith that worketh by love,
 
 THE 1.IFE OF FAITH. 5 1 
 
 before I again turned the pages, over which 
 I hung that afternoon in dcHght. I felt 
 more and more the contrast of this faith, 
 that was constantly honoring the Lord by 
 believing his word, and confiding in his 
 love, to that of a doubting spirit born of 
 an evil heart of unbelief; and I thirsted 
 for the good land beyond Jordan. It also 
 led me to remark how God blesses the 
 household where his ark rests, and that it 
 is impossible to dwell with those who walk 
 with a living God, and not partake of their 
 blessings. 
 
 That night for me was sleepless. It 
 was the Lord's dear hand in all, and but 
 for it I should have failed to read another 
 trait of himself in my gentle hostess. 
 
 The morning had hardly broken, when 
 she quietly opened my door, and brought 
 to my side the breakfast which her 
 thoughtful care had provided. She had 
 lighted the fire in her husband's study to 
 avoid disturbing the servants ; she had
 
 52 TELL JESUS. 
 
 heard my restlessness, and was ever on 
 the watch to serve. 
 
 When I told her how grieved I was that 
 she should rise to do this, her reply was 
 like herself : 
 
 " Supposing yesterday Jesus had rested 
 in your lodgings on his way to Jerusalem, 
 weary with his journey, and you knew he 
 had been watching all night, should you 
 have thought it any hardship to rise an 
 hour or two earlier than usual to give him 
 refreshment .'' Jesus could not come him- 
 self ; he sent you, and he says to me, ' In- 
 asmuch as you have done it unto her, you 
 have done it unto me.' " 
 
 Thus we feel the need of having a poor 
 and afflicted people among us, that there 
 may be a field for the ministration of the 
 disciples of Jesus to the Man of Sorrows 
 in the person of his suffering members. 
 Numberless are the occasions it affords of 
 exhibiting his tender love toward those 
 that serve, as well as to them that are
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 53 
 
 served. Sitting often at his feet, we shall 
 learn the secret of his will, and hearing 
 his voice, we shall learn the way to do it, 
 by which we shall most resemble him in 
 the doing. 
 
 The little loving charities of daily life 
 preach loudly for Him who went about 
 doing good. The testimony that it is 
 for Jesus will make the even tenor of 
 the walk glorify him ; whereas, if kind- 
 ness and forbearance be shown only to 
 please ourselves, or for the gratific ation of 
 another, they will be fitful, and witness 
 nothing of the living faith to proclaim 
 Him whose we are and whom we sftrve. 
 
 Of all the blessings that gladden our 
 earthly pilgrimage, sympathy is the sweet- 
 est ; of all the gifts of God, a friend is the 
 chief The man of science has his asso- 
 ciate ; the man of crime his accomplice ; 
 the man of pleasure his companion ; and 
 in all these there is sympathy, but not 
 friendship. That comprehends an end'^r.
 
 54 TELL JESUS. 
 
 ing affection resting on sympathy ; it can- 
 not endure, if built on the things that are 
 passing away, or that shall be burned up. 
 
 A friend in Jesus is a gift, but Jesus, 
 the Friend, is the priceless Friend. 
 
 And can such things be .-' Yes. The 
 Man of Sorrows is the brother born for 
 adversity, as every day's need requires. 
 Fellowship with him can cast a light and 
 glory over life's common things. If we 
 think that brotherhood with Jesus com- 
 prehends only a fellowship in sorrow and 
 difficulty, the privilege is immeasurably 
 great ; but this is limiting his friendship, 
 or placing him in the position of patron 
 and benefactor, rather than of brother 
 and friend. 
 
 When we live in close sympathy with 
 another, we receive and impart every mo- 
 ment. Take a day passed with a friend, 
 unrecorded by any remarkable event ; such 
 a day as an uninterested observer might 
 pronounce a very commonplace one. It
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 55 
 
 has not been commonplace to you. The 
 glance comprehended without a word 
 spoken ; the smile that has recognized 
 your thought ; the trifling need that has 
 made a way for a gift valueless to any one 
 but you, and precious to you as a memento 
 of the hand that gave, and the circumstance 
 that drew it forth ; — all these footprints 
 of time leave the day, so uneventful to 
 others, full of sweet memories to loving 
 hearts. 
 
 Why deal with your heavenly Friend 
 with more strangeness and less confidence 
 than with an earthly friend, and desire his 
 help and sympathy only in seasons of ex- 
 tremity "i Yet is he found of them that 
 call upon him only in the hour of need ; 
 he cannot deny himself. " In their afflic- 
 tion they will seek me early." But why 
 not accept that companionship which 
 throws a light over the minute working of 
 his providence, and gives a voice to the
 
 56 TELL JESUS. 
 
 interpreters of his love, hour by hour, 
 moment by moment ? 
 
 It is the carnal or the spiritual man 
 which objects, that there are numberless 
 things and circumstances too insignificant 
 to bring before the God of the whole 
 earth. Does the Word of God state them ? 
 Or, who is so wise as to declare what is 
 really great or small in the sight of omnip- 
 otence ? Shall we then say, " I will trust 
 my soul to the God of my mercies, but 
 not my mercies themselves ; and'in some 
 extremity call on him for deliverance, but 
 in the burden of daily trials dishonor him 
 by distrusting his care, and doubting his 
 love ? 
 
 Who shall pronounce what has an influ- 
 ence on the spiritual life, and what has 
 not ? The minute grain of sand that ob- 
 scures the sight may ultimately destroy it. 
 The thorn in the traveler's foot, a key lost 
 or mislaid, and meaner things than any I 
 have enumerated, may cast shadows on
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 5/ 
 
 the strongest mind, and change the cur- 
 rent of a hfe ; while such despised things 
 have been among the golden links that 
 draw the soul nearer, to realize a living 
 God. 
 
 Will you call it " bondage " to cast all 
 upon the sympathizing heart of the Man 
 Christ Jesus .'' Oh ! trembling hearts, 
 perplexed and weary, it is no fable — it is 
 the glorious liberty of the children of God, 
 to " trust in him at all times." 
 
 He does not bid you seek him in un- 
 approachable glory ; he comes to^you as 
 one of your brethren. In all things he 
 was tempted even as you are, yet without 
 sin ; he once hungered and thirsted, he 
 was weary, lonely, misunderstood. You 
 have no want or woe that he has not 
 tasted ; you have no joy which you could 
 pour into that heart of love to which it 
 would not respond. 
 
 I write to you who know him and love 
 him, and yet live at such an immeasurable
 
 58 TELL JESUS. 
 
 distance from him, that you are uttering 
 your complaints of your coldness and 
 unhappiness in the ears of others, " phy- 
 sicians of no value," who cannot fathom 
 your wound or heal your disease. Why 
 wait till the waters are troubled .-* Tell 
 Jesus. 
 
 An early diary of Emily's, lent me by 
 her husband on, this occasion, consists 
 principally of notes to assist her memory, 
 but otherwise it is too obscure to enable, 
 me to trace much that would be interest- 
 ing in the growth and development of 
 the divine life in her soul. Brief as is 
 the entry, which bears the date 1835, it is 
 strongly marked by the single-mindedness 
 of one who even then walked, as she ever 
 afterwards did, with an exercised con- 
 science, though ever fully realizing the 
 finished work of Jesus, and her accept- 
 ance in him ; from v.'hich we glean the 
 desires of her heart toward a clearer 
 light and more devoted walk. To those
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 59 
 
 who had the privilege of knowing her, it 
 very imperfectly shadows the work of 
 grace that was developed in the noon of 
 her Hfe. 
 
 She complains of the plague of her 
 own heart, like those who know " their 
 own sore and their own grief ; " of her un- 
 belief, selfishness, and wandering in pray- 
 er ; her bitterness of speaking of the 
 faults of others. 
 
 The Hearer and Answerer of prayer — 
 more willing to glorify himself in his ser- 
 vant than any can be to glorify him — 
 indeed granted her abundantly that which 
 she had requested. Great is the encour- 
 agement to the children of light to walk 
 in the light which reveals their needs, 
 when we see how graciously hers were 
 met, and how brightly shone those graces 
 in her after experience, the lack of which 
 she here laments. 
 
 If our desires after spiritual blessings 
 seem tardy in their fulfillment, we are not
 
 60 TELL JESUS. 
 
 therefore to suppose that they are disre- 
 garded. Invisible is the process by which 
 we receive them. They are not to be 
 acquired and handled as are temporal 
 gifts ; these we may obtain immediately, 
 and rejoicingly show to our neighbor, that 
 he may rejoice with us. Neither do they 
 resemble the sudden life in a soul given 
 to our prayers. They are deeper and 
 more hidden, as the life hid with Christ 
 in ♦God, and only when the tempest 
 has swept over us, or the daily furnace 
 has been entered, where none walked 
 with us but the Son of God, have we real- 
 ized that grace had really been granted 
 us according to our prayers. Its recep- 
 tion must be the work of faith, — that of 
 other gifts, more or less of sense. 
 
 Nothing is so dishonoring to God as 
 unbelief Even supposing that our prayer 
 is not answered so that we can recognize 
 it hei'e, yet we have honored him by ask-
 
 THE LIFE OF FAITH. 6 1 
 
 ing for that which he alone can bestow ; 
 and them that honor him, he will honor. 
 
 Hinder not the holy life-giving Spirit. 
 It is written, " If ye abide in me, and my 
 words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye 
 will, and it shall be done unto you." And 
 what does the longing soul desire, but 
 conformity to Him without whom it can do 
 nothing ? We shall be satisfied when we 
 awake with his likeness.
 
 ^^^^■&^ 
 
 CHAPTER III. 
 
 PREMONITIONS. 
 
 'And God granted him that which he requested." 
 
 I Cheon. iv. lo. 
 
 N January, 1856, Emily wrote to 
 tell me that she had asked the 
 Lord for a " Jubilee Year," and 
 that already the answers were returning 
 in blessings, through her tracts, and the 
 conversion of two young womcvi, in one 
 of whom I was much interested. She had 
 also some evidence in the soul of her little 
 son, giving her reason to believe that he 
 was indeed a child of God, 
 
 Her own health was good, her hus- 
 band's better, and many mercies v-ere 
 numbered up. 
 
 In her private diary was foand, aftei 
 
 6a
 
 PREMONITIONS. 6^ 
 
 her decease, the following entry, made on 
 her birthday preceding : 
 
 " Lord, forgive the sins of the past, and 
 help me to be faithful in future. May this 
 be a year of much blessing, a year of 
 jubilee ! May I be kept lowly, trusting 
 loving ! May I have more blessing than 
 in all former years combined ! May I be 
 happier as a wife, mother, sister, writer, 
 mistress, friend ! " * 
 
 And the Lord heard, and granted her 
 that which she requested. 
 
 Merciful is the veil which conceals in 
 what form our petition shall be granted ; 
 but we know that the hand of love, once 
 pierced for us, holdeth our souls in life, 
 and sufifereth not our feet to be moved ; 
 although we find our prayers return to us 
 in far other forms than we should have 
 had courage to desire. 
 
 * This, and most of tlie following particulars, ar"; extracted 
 from " A Memorial of the Last Days of Emily Gosse," \y h^ 
 husband.
 
 64 TELL JESUS. 
 
 "Almost immediately," says her hus- 
 band, " after the supplications above men- 
 tioned were recorded on high, the gracious 
 answer began to be given. At first it 
 came only in joy. The first-firuit was a 
 very blessed revival of my own soul through 
 some words which she spoke to me. And 
 then there followed what she had reason to 
 judge the sound conversion to God of three 
 young persons within a few weeks, by the 
 instrumentality of her conversations with 
 them. Others were impressed, and ap- 
 peared convinced of their sinful state. 
 Moreover, before the year was completed, 
 at least two instances were brought to her 
 knowledge of gospel tracts having been 
 blessed to the decided conversion of souls. 
 And the grace of the Lord was displayed 
 to her also, in causing these testimonies 
 to the blood of Christ, the fruits of her 
 pen, to be spread very widely, even to the 
 most distant parts of the globe, the result 
 of which will be fully known when the
 
 PREMONITIONS. 6$ 
 
 harvest of this sowing-time shall be gath- 
 ered in. ^ 
 
 " During the twelvemonth between No- 
 vember 1855, and November 1856, seven- 
 teen of her gospel tracts were published 
 by the Weekly Tract Society, in addition 
 to fourteen of hers already in their cata- 
 logue ; and five more were printed between 
 the latter date and her death, which have 
 been published posthumously. This was 
 besides many papers in various religious 
 periodicals. 
 
 " But the year of blessing, thus auspic- 
 iously begun, had scarcely half passed 
 away before there appeared the messenger 
 commissioned to take down her tabernacle, 
 and consummate her joy, by removing her 
 to the presence of her Lord. 
 
 " Hitherto, we had known nothing but 
 ease and happiness in the seven years of 
 our married life, and it was not unfrequently 
 remarked by us to each other, that the 
 common lot, the badge of discipleship. 
 5
 
 66 TELL JESUS. 
 
 seemed to be unknown to us. My beloved 
 wife very frequently observed to me, and 
 that especially during the year or two thai 
 preceded her mortal disease, ' How ver^ 
 happy we are ! Surely this cannot last.' 
 
 " It was soon to end. It is not for the 
 eternal bliss of God's children that their 
 nest — Job xxix. i8 — should be undisturb- 
 ed, and, therefore, he pulls it to pieces and 
 says, ' Set your affection on things above.' 
 He cares for our eternal happiness, and 
 makes our temporal joy give place to the 
 eternal. Even so, Father." 
 
 Months elapsed ; we did not meet. I 
 seldom heard from her ; she was not one 
 to write for writing's sake ; she was fully 
 occupied. Yet I knew I was never forgot- 
 ten, by the occasional packet of tracts and 
 papers that received a grateful welcome in 
 my sick room, where I lived, God's pris- 
 oner. He was teaching me himself the 
 things of the kingdom, for which he had
 
 PREMONITIONS. 67 
 
 already prepared me ; slow learner that I 
 have been ! 
 
 One morning I received a note from 
 Emily, telling me of the shadow of that 
 bright cloud which was destined to con- 
 vey her beyond the reach of pain. The 
 first tokens of cancer were visible to her- 
 self, and her apprehensions were confirmed 
 by three of the faculty. 
 
 The simplicity and calmness of the de- 
 tail were just what one would have ex- 
 pected from the trustful tenor of her life. 
 
 On the reverse of the note was written, 
 " Is this the meaning of your vision after 
 all.? Pray for H ." Nothing for her- 
 self! 
 
 After the consultation with the surgeons, 
 the worst was confirmed — which was the 
 best. The chariot which was to convey 
 her home from her labors to the eternal 
 rest in the bosom of the Lord she loved 
 was in motion. And all this she told her 
 husband when she returned, with her
 
 68 TELL JESUS. 
 
 usual quiet smile, and with unbroken com- 
 posure. 
 
 A new mode of treatment, but recentl}' 
 introduced into England, promised (how 
 fallaciously we had yet to learn), if not a 
 cure, at least an alleviation in preference 
 to immediate excision ; as in case of failure 
 in the first instance, the cancer would be 
 still in the same position for what appeared 
 then the severer alternative of extraction. 
 
 At such a season, where could the 
 sorely tried hearts go, but unto Him who 
 has promised to be a refuge in the time 
 of trouble } And such they indeed found 
 him ; her unselfish heart being more af- 
 flicted in her beloved husband's trial than 
 in her own anticipated sufferings. 
 
 There are other souls similarly exer- 
 cised, who will be comforted by the grace 
 and strength given to this tried pair, to 
 meet this sudden storm upon their hither- 
 to pleasant homeward path. 
 
 " From the first certainty that we had
 
 PREMONITIONS. 69 
 
 of the nature of the disease," says Mr. 
 Gosse, " we had earnestly and constantly 
 sought wisdom from God, as to what 
 measures we should take. We had been 
 accustomed to act, according to the grace 
 given to us, on that command, ' Be careful 
 for nothing ; but in everything by prayer 
 and supplication, with thanksgiving, let 
 your requests be made known unto God.' 
 — Phil. iv. 6. — We believed that the 
 amplitude of that phrase, ' m everything' 
 Ijpft nothing so small or so insignificant 
 but that we might bring it and roll it 
 on Him, the gracious burden-bearer ; and 
 we had often proved the truth of the ac- 
 companying promise, ' The peace of God 
 shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ 
 Jesus.' There was also another promise 
 on which we were accustomed to act : ' If 
 any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of 
 God, that giveth to all men liberally, and 
 upbraideth not ; and it shall be given him.' 
 James i 5.
 
 70 TELL JESUS. 
 
 " These commands and promises we 
 unitedly pleaded before our Father, fully 
 trusting that he would care for us accord 
 ing to his word — a word that cannot lie. 
 We asked, in confidence. that we should 
 not be denied, that peace would keep our 
 hearts and minds, and that wisdom would 
 be given us. And let it not be thought 
 inconsistent with this latter promise, that 
 the result of our acting was different from 
 what we desired and expected ; not even 
 if it could be shown that the treatment 
 resorted to did really (as I believe was the 
 case) aggravate my beloved's sufferings, 
 and hasten her death. 
 
 " It is true, this is not what we looked 
 for. We asked to be guided with infalli- 
 ble wisdom, and we thought that the wis- 
 dom would be shown by leading us to choose 
 the most effectual mode of cure. 
 
 " But God had not promised this. He 
 had promised to give wisdom, and I must 
 believe that he did give it ; that the treat-
 
 PREMONITIONS. 7 1 
 
 ment we selected was the one which, in 
 this particular case, he saw really best for 
 us. He had his own end in view, and 
 that was the removal of his beloved child 
 to his own presence in paradise, and the 
 sustentation and comfort of survivors. 
 And this was an end worthy of himself* 
 so that I dare not say we were not wisely 
 directed in taking the steps that led to it. 
 "The wisdom promised by God is a 
 thing for faith to apprehend : having asked 
 ' unwaveringly, with singleness of eye, his 
 guidance, I must believe I am guided. I 
 must believe that my judgment, when I 
 ultimately choose, is influenced — insensi- 
 bly, indeed, but not less really — by his 
 Spirit. And then results cannot affect 
 this fact of Divine guidance. It is not 
 the part of faith to say, if the result turn 
 out according to my wish, ' I was surely 
 guided by heavenly wisdom ; ' but if other- 
 wise, ' T was left to myself For God 
 r vnnot belie himself, and he has nowhere
 
 72, TELL JESUS. 
 
 promised to grant his children all that 
 their foolish hearts would like, but what 
 he judges best for their real welfare. He 
 has promised wisdom, but not success. 
 
 ******* 
 
 " It was agreed on between us, that no 
 treatment should be resorted to, unless 
 we were both of the same mind concern- 
 ing it. After much prayer, then, we were 
 perfectly agreed that the new mode of 
 treatment seemed to promise best. Ac- 
 cording to the sources of information open 
 to us, it appeared to present comparative 
 freedom from pain in the process, and a 
 far greater probability of ultimate cure. 
 With the knowledge we afterward attained, 
 we should no doubt have decided far 
 otherwise ; but it was not the Lord's will 
 that we should decide differently, and 
 therefore he saw fit to withhold from us 
 that knowledge. He surely guided us,
 
 PREMONITIONS, 73 
 
 however, with infinite wisdom to fulfill his 
 purpose, which was infinitely good." 
 
 Many a keenly-tempted heart this rea- 
 soning will tend to strengthen, for it rests 
 on the faithfulness of Him in whom is no 
 shadow of turning. Not that the quiet 
 confidence of these united ones, trusting 
 in the simple word of God, will of itself 
 give comfort. Each one must draw for 
 himself from that fountain whose every 
 draught invigorates and soothes. 
 
 How often have I heard the remorseful 
 srief of even Christian mourners over the 
 failure of incans used for the restoration 
 of those of whom they were bereaved. 
 " If we had but thought of this remedy, 
 or heard of that skillful physician, or been 
 enabled to take a journey to the South, or 
 earlier detected the symptoms of disease, 
 there is no doubt our lost one might have 
 been spared to us for many years." Oh 
 doubling hearts ! This is not of faith, and 
 is therefore sin. If you have sought for
 
 74 TELL JESUS. 
 
 guidance, you must believe you were 
 guided ; and although the result may be 
 the sundering of earth's sweetest ties, and 
 the painful process of purifying fires, which 
 you have endured, take it as the wisest 
 answer to your prayer. His thoughts are 
 not our thoughts. His thoughts are the 
 best. 
 
 " None liveth to himself, and no man 
 dieth to himself" The providence that 
 lays perhaps the dearest and most prom- 
 ising of a family on the bed of languishing, 
 often ordains the only preacher who could 
 effectually reach some heart by that home 
 hearth. Be sure of this, under no other 
 circumstances could you learn the partic- 
 ular lesson it is come to teach you. Has- 
 ten to seek Him by whom it is sent, that 
 you may not miss his deep, hidden message 
 of love. Let not sorrow come there in 
 teaching or warning in vain. Pray him to 
 sanctify it : to enlighten your eyes, if you 
 see it not nor trace his finger in the dis-
 
 PREMONITIONS. 75 
 
 pensation. Fear not ; it is a Father's 
 hand, and for every new and changing 
 phase in your sorrowful trial, he has a ready 
 ear turned to listen, a ready hand to help. 
 Shrink not from unfolding to him the least 
 perplexity that besets your path. Every 
 trial, to its minutest part, has been or- 
 dered and arranged by him. His heart, 
 more tender than that of the fondest 
 mother, deems nothing beneath his notice 
 that sends his child tearful and often 
 speechless to his feet. Waste not your 
 precious hours in seeking for creature help. 
 Go where the fountain flows freely, where 
 all love and might are waiting for you. 
 Tell Jesus. 
 
 If Thou dost call our loved ones home. 
 
 Shall we thy claims deny ? 
 But, gracious Lord, now give us more 
 
 Of thy sweet company. 
 
 Oh, softly weep we for the dead. 
 Nor let our grief be loud I
 
 76 TELL JESUS. 
 
 So shall we hear his voice of love 
 Within the light-lined cloud. 
 
 They rest with Iiim, and shall our praise 
 
 Be silent, while they sing ? 
 Nay ; clgud, and rain, and biting blast 
 
 Sweet summer fruit shall bring. 
 
 Mourn we as they whose hope hath died. 
 With those his love bestowed ? 
 
 The message and the messenger 
 Were sent alike by God. 
 
 Shall we not gird us for the fight, 
 And, as we heavenward tread. 
 
 Remember, in the darkest hours. 
 What he, the Lord, hath said f
 
 
 W^ 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 
 " He must needs go tlirough Samaria."— John iv. 4. 
 
 ]T was good for the Samaritans 
 that Jesus was weary and faint 
 with travel ; but for that Hnk of 
 the blessing he had not tarried two days 
 in Samaria, where many knew him as 
 "indeed the Christ, the Saviour of the 
 world." Emily must needs go through 
 a strange country, to testify of the love 
 and faithfulness of Him who had said, 
 " Call unto me, and I will answer thee, 
 and show thee great and mighty things 
 which thou knowest not ? " 
 
 The following May, the beloved sufferer 
 
 n
 
 78 TELL JESUS. 
 
 was placed under the care of the doctor, 
 for the purpose of undergoing the new 
 treatment for the supposed cure of can- 
 cer, which had been suggested by an 
 Enghsh physician as preferable to extrac- 
 tion. 
 
 And now began a season which was to 
 ripen the grain for the garner, and try the 
 faith of her life's companion in this tribu- 
 lation. Emily had known little of sick- 
 ness ; indeed, excepting an occasional 
 headache, she told me she had had no 
 experience of it worth mentioning, yet 
 her nervous system was so peculiarly sen- 
 sitive, that the least discomfort would unfit 
 her for her ordinary avocations. This 
 trial, then, which she was called on to 
 undergo, in cutting her off from her pleas- 
 ant labor of writing her gospel tracts, and 
 from the quiet ministry of love around 
 her, was the polishing of another facet in 
 the jewel for the Saviour's crown. 
 
 The physician spoke with confidence
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 79 
 
 of the case as one that promised a happy 
 issue. When I saw her, and marked the 
 vigor of her frame, and the brij^ht hope 
 ill her face, I took hope also. Certain it 
 was, that her affliction was blessed to all 
 around her, and to none more than myself, 
 in leading me to mark the finger of God, 
 and to acknowledge his love in giving us 
 our raiment of heaviness to weave into 
 garments of beauty for his glory. 
 
 Emily's attendance on Dr. F. in- 
 volved the necessity of a wearisome jour- 
 ney from her house in Barnsbury to Pim- 
 lico, three times a week. On one of these 
 days I accompanied her. It was a bril- 
 liant morning in June, when the earth is 
 in all the first fresh beauty of Summer. 
 The air was scented with the mignonette 
 and Brompton stocks, which filled some 
 of the balconies in the West-end squares. 
 The sky had scarcely a city shadow to 
 shroud its cloudless blue, and all looked 
 fair without — a strange contrast to the
 
 80 TELL JESUS. 
 
 woeful waiting room we entered. And 
 sadder still, the exchange of the groups 
 of blooming children who had passed us 
 on their way to the parks and gardens, for 
 the band of pale sufferers that soon crowd- 
 ed the chamber. One who knew not 
 God might have thought that on these 
 poor sickly ones the curse of suffering 
 humanity had specially fallen ; he would 
 not see the love in affliction, wooing man 
 to think of Him whose long-suffering 
 waited still to bless. Among these poor 
 stricken ones, Emily Gosse moved as a 
 ministering angel. 
 
 Great was the fatigue she endured in 
 these journeys to and fro, but she only dwelt 
 on the opportunities they afforded her of 
 telling to poor sinners the love of Jesus, 
 or from time to time grasping the hand 
 of some fellow pilgrim by the way. 
 
 The omnibus and the waiting-room were 
 alike her field of labor. That morning 
 every one was very civil to us ; receiving
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 8l 
 
 ner tracts and " Messengers " with court- 
 esy, and many read them. 
 
 " But how do you know what to take 
 with you ? " I asked, rather puzzled, as she 
 sought amongst her papers for one and 
 another, and as I marked the pause before 
 each was offered ; — " How do you feel 
 sure you give the right one to the right 
 person ? " She whispered the secret in my 
 ear. Reader, shall I tell it you ? 
 
 " I ask Jesus ! " 
 
 She then related to me the following 
 incidents, afterwards recorded in her 
 pocket-book in pencil, though I miss there 
 other interesting encounters of which she 
 told me at the same time. 
 
 " Sometimes my fellow passengers are 
 of an encouraging kind, and receive my 
 tracts with pleasure ; sometimes, on the 
 contrary, their very looks repel one's ad- 
 vances. A company of that sort I met 
 lately, and yet things turned out better 
 than I anticipated.
 
 82 TELL JESUS. 
 
 " I took out a paper of Mr. Drummond's, 
 of Stirling, and after reading it myself 
 awhile, I presented it to a doubtful looking 
 gentleman at my right, who looked as if 
 he would have rejected a tract. By 
 degrees, as others came in, I offered what 
 I thought most likely to please them ; and 
 as I saw some get out their spectacles 
 and others read without such aid, I got 
 into conversation with my opposite neigh- 
 bor, a Christian lady, who became quite 
 interested in the Stirling enterprise, and 
 promised to show the " British Messenger," 
 etc., to some Christian friends in the 
 country, whither she was going. 
 
 " Presently my attention was arrested 
 by a poor, little old man, with an old blue 
 bag, who had been reading. He had now 
 taken off his horn spectacles, and put them 
 in their paper case, and holding up a 
 penny in his hand, he made a sign with 
 his finger, as though he would cut it in 
 half When the noise of the wheels per-
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 83 
 
 mitted, he made me understand that he 
 wanted to know if I could give him a half- 
 penny if he gave me his penny. I shook 
 my head, and signified I did not want his 
 penny. But this did not quite satisfy him ; 
 the penny was put for a moment back in 
 his pocket, but soon appeared again. 
 
 " The old man had evidently counted 
 the cost, and ventured his whole penny. 
 I would much rather have given him one ; 
 but I did not not feel it right to refuse. 
 It was like the widow's mite ; I felt it 
 would bring a blessing with it — a blessing 
 to himself and to others. 
 
 " I thought, ' If I buy eight tracts with 
 that penny, they may be blessed to eight 
 souls ; or even to eight hundred ! Shall 
 I deprive this poor man of that honor ? 
 Besides, he will doubtless value the tracts 
 I gave him all the more for having con- 
 tributed to pay for sending tracts to others. 
 Further, this httle action will /rad me to
 
 84 TELL JESUS. 
 
 pray fo7' Jiis soul, which I should not other- 
 wise have done.' 
 
 " As these thoughts passed through my 
 raijid, my opposite neighbor, who had 
 seen what passed, took out lier purse and 
 offered me a shilling. Here was the first 
 fruit of my old man's penny, I said to 
 her, ' I did not give the tracts away with 
 any expectation of payment.' She re- 
 plied, ' I know that ; but of course there 
 are expenses connected with giving them 
 away : put that into your poor-box.' 
 
 " She would not have thought of it if the 
 old man had not given his penny. Many 
 have often received tracts and * British 
 Messengers,' and have never thought of 
 helping to pay for sending forth more. 
 Many could give a penny, if not a shilling. 
 Perhaps many will who read this ; and 
 the old man may find in eternity, that his 
 penny has produced fruit a hundred or a 
 thousand fold." * 
 
 • "Memorial," p. 15.
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 85 
 
 Emily inquired if I had followed out a 
 feeble service I had begun ; and I replied 
 that I found m); motive was not pure in it, 
 and so I gave it up. 
 
 " Don't do that," she answered ; " defeat 
 Satan. Tell Jesus your design is not 
 clearly all for his glory, and ask him to 
 make it so — to purify your motive; but 
 do not give up the work. You know 
 
 M says, that ' if the Father sees one 
 
 grain of love to his Son in the effort, it is 
 the grain of gold in the sand. He accepts 
 it for Jesus' sake, and the blood is sprinkled 
 on the rest.' " It was the same ever new 
 song, " Tell Jesus." 
 
 That happy morning is still fresh in my 
 memory. I had Emily to my heart's con- 
 tent all to myself, and we spoke uninter- 
 ruptedly of what was dearest to both of 
 us — of Jesus, and his dealings with his 
 people. 
 
 A tedious case preceded our arrival, 
 and we had long to wait. A young lady
 
 86 TELL JESUS. 
 
 whom she expected to meet her there 
 failed in her appointment, aad this gave 
 us the opportunity of a prolonged conver- 
 sation. We both said, " It is good to be 
 here." 
 
 When I remarked that it was the only 
 unbroken interview that I had ever en- 
 joyed with her, she smiled her bright smile, 
 and immediately directed my attention to 
 the young friend whom she had expected, 
 and who was now entering the room. 
 
 Still, I was so full of thankfulness for 
 this happy hour of communion in our 
 beloved Lord, that I did not murmur. 
 Other patients soon followed, and my in- 
 terest was absorbed in watching Emily's 
 gentle greetings to some she had met be- 
 fore, and to others — strangers — whose 
 anxious or listless countenances she was 
 scanning in deep sympathy. And again 
 and again she recurred to the love of the 
 Lord, in opening out to her these oppor- 
 tunities of serving him, and that among
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 87 
 
 souls she could not otherwise have 
 
 reached. 
 
 " To each," writes Mr. Gosse, " she had 
 
 a word of grace and kindness, undeterred 
 by the scornful refusal of some, and the 
 stolid indifference of others. 
 
 " Almost all who resorted to that room 
 were co-sufferers with herself, or friends 
 or relatives of such ; and her compassion 
 was largely drawn out to them, impelling 
 her to testify of Jesus' love to them if 
 they knew it not, and to seek mutually 
 edifying and comforting communion with 
 them, if they were already his. Not a 
 few of those whom she met were rea' 
 Christians. Some whose hearts became 
 knit to hers in fervent love, passed before 
 her into the presence of their Lord, going 
 home only to die ; others, surviving, still 
 speak in admiring praise of the sweet 
 savor of Jesus' name, which was every- 
 where diffused by her. Her unselfish love 
 led her to count her own sufferings light,
 
 88 TELL JESUS. 
 
 if by means of them she could glorify hot 
 Lord. 
 
 " Nor were her sympathies confined to 
 the spiritual need of her fellow-sufferers. 
 Many of the patients were very poor, ill 
 able to afford the expense of coming to 
 and fro, of lodgings, of attendance, and of 
 the little comforts indispensable in sick- 
 ness. These moved her loving pity. Her 
 character was eminently practical ; she did 
 not let her sympathy evaporate in senti- 
 mental speeches, but at once set about 
 seeing what could be done." 
 
 " On one occasion," says a valued friend 
 of Emily's, " I accompanied her to Dr. 
 
 F 's, and while waiting she spoke, as 
 
 was her wont, to most of those seated 
 round the room. She came at length to a 
 poor man who appeared to be in a very 
 suffering state, and asked him about his 
 hope for eternity. He replied to the 
 effect that ' he hoped he should do pretty 
 well' She walked a few paces from him,
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 89 
 
 and then returning, solemnly said, ' There 
 is but one way to be saved ; the blood of 
 Jesus Christ, God's Son, cleanseth from 
 all sin.' She added a few more words ; 
 but what affected and delighted. me was 
 that in her fervor she no longer addressed 
 that man in particular, but there she stood 
 as God's witness, and in tones that all in 
 that room might, and I believe did hear, 
 although perhaps herself unconscious of it 
 proclaimed the blessed tidings of salva- 
 tion."* 
 
 " If I wanted to recommend a patent," 
 said Emily, observing how little testimony 
 is usually given for Jesus, owing to the 
 fear of man, " I should not at the first 
 setting out force it ; but if I were travel- 
 ing to make my master's patent known, be 
 sure that in whatsoever society I was cast 
 I should let it be seen." 
 
 Certain J am, that when we are on our 
 
 • " M "inorial," p. 3,g,
 
 90 TELL JESUS. 
 
 watch-tower, living close to Je^us, we 
 have weapons more powerful than worldly 
 wisdom can use. The Holy Spirit will 
 breathe through our words, and piepare 
 the way before us. 
 
 The gentle courtesy of the words and 
 ways of one living in the light of Jesus's 
 countenance is as different from the pol- 
 ished surface of mere worldly politeness 
 as are the beams of the setting sun to 
 the rays of a gas lamp. 
 
 Only a trifling occasion may be granted 
 us. A gnat has a very brief opportunity, 
 but he makes the most of it, and insinu- 
 ates one drop of poison with his sting, 
 which leaves discomfort for days, and 
 keeps him long in painful remembrance. 
 A needle is a very little thing, but how 
 much may be done with it by patient 
 industry — strong garments for daily use, 
 and delicate intricate workmanship, which 
 the loom can but imitate ! If an instru- 
 ment be kept bright, and lie near the
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 9I 
 
 great Workman's hand, be sure it will be 
 used, and if not, it is well to show its 
 willingness lor service. 
 
 Many a weary hour might be wrought 
 into blessing, in the waiting-rooms of 
 some of our eminent phys^icians. 
 
 One who has found the shelter of the 
 Rock against the storms that dash our 
 earth-nests to the ground, must long to 
 whisper of its sweet security to others. 
 And where is there a sphere in which 
 loving sympathy would often be more 
 appreciated .-• 
 
 The heart must be hardened indeed, 
 before it can look unmoved upon the lines 
 of pain and disease written on the anxious 
 faces that throng these crowded rooms 
 Those whom the Lord may lead thither, 
 may find that, if they have returned them- 
 selves unhealed, they yet have been sent 
 there to guide some soul to the fount of 
 healing. 
 
 Many opportunities of showing the love
 
 92 TELL lESUS. 
 
 of Christ to others will appear to those 
 who really desire them ; and if we do not 
 see them, the Lord can open our eyes to 
 do so. If all else be denied, there is the 
 prayer that carries these sick and appar- 
 ently careless souls to that fountain, for 
 whose healing waters they may be longing, 
 while waiting for some man to help them. 
 Sick one whom Jesus loves, think what 
 life-giving blessings you bear with you 
 into this world's infirmary ! It is only a 
 new furrow of the field to till for Jesus. 
 Your prayer of faith may save the sick of 
 worse than nature's leprosy ; and if you 
 are cast there, remember him. 
 
 You say, " I cannot speak to strangers." 
 It is a blessed thing for such poor lost 
 sinners as the reader and the writer, that 
 the Son of God does not thus answer us 
 He came to bind up the broken-hearted, 
 to comfort the mourner, to heal the leper, 
 to give sight to the blind, to make the
 
 DILIGENCE .N SERVICE. 93 
 
 lame walk, and the dumb to speak. He 
 calls none "strangers" who come to him. 
 
 It was well for the poor Samaritan 
 adulteress that Jesus did not raise such ob- 
 jections. Himself a stranger, weary with 
 his journey, he even asked of one with 
 whom the Jews had no .dealings, a cup of 
 cold water at the well of Sychar. 
 
 He came in blessing, not only to the 
 lost sheep of the house of Israel, but to 
 the Syro-phoenician woman, whose daugh- 
 ter was healed through a mother's perse- 
 vering prayer. 
 
 "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever 
 I command you." It will be happy for 
 those who say they know him, and labor 
 for him, not to hear at last from his lips, 
 " I was a stranger, and ye took me not in." 
 
 My evil heart of unbelief at this time 
 was often bringing me into darkness and 
 desolation. Satan loves to weaken the 
 hands for service, and clcse the lips for 
 testimony, by summoning before us past
 
 94 TELL JESUS, 
 
 transgressions which have been forever 
 blotted out by the blood of Jesus. 
 
 Emily, with her sound views of gospel 
 truth, could not understand me here. It 
 was better thus, as it eventually led me to 
 confide in Him who knoweth our frame. 
 Shattered in health, and easily broken in 
 spirit, the great Adversary harassed my 
 mind until I became bewildered and afraid, 
 and could no longer discern through the 
 mist of doubt that the covenant was or- 
 dered for me " in all things, and sure." 
 
 We are promised that sin shall not have 
 dominion over us ; nevertheless, " the 
 flesh lusteth against the Spirit," therefore 
 the followers of the great Captain must be 
 prepared for war. Up to the mercy-seat, 
 ye whom Satan harasses with remembered 
 failures ! The promise of the Father is 
 written there in the blood of the Lamb. 
 It is pleaded by our great High Priest ; i' 
 is revealed to your sinking heart by the 
 Comforter. " Fear not, only believe."
 
 DILIGENCE IN SERVICE. 95 
 
 At this time Emily wrote to me, " Do 
 you believe that God has forgiven you the 
 sins of to-day as well as the sins of your 
 whole life ? Then forgive yourself A 
 child never learns to-day's lessons better 
 for fretting over the neglected task of 
 yesterday." So I have found it. 
 
 Satan whispers only of the wrath of an 
 offended God ; the Comforter points to 
 the Refuge. The great Adversary re- 
 counts our many and repeated sins ; the 
 Holy Spirit tells of the Lamb slain. Enter 
 into the covert provided against the as- 
 saults of the " terrible one," and thus " be 
 strong in the Lord, and in the power of his 
 might"
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 
 ' For ye serve the Lord Christ." — COL. iii. 24. 
 
 EAR Emily had indeed entered 
 into the furnace. The vigor of 
 her constitution, and the cheer- 
 fuhiess which seldom failed her, prevented 
 all but those who watched her with the 
 eye of affection from seeing the rapid in- 
 roads of disease upon her wasting frame. 
 
 Many of the applications of the new 
 treatment were of the most painful nature, 
 and these were continued without inter- 
 mission, and persevered in until the end 
 of August. 
 
 At that time, with the full consent of 
 
 Dr. F , the dear sufferer accompanied 
 
 her husband to Tenby, on the coast of 
 
 q6
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. * 9/ 
 
 South Wales, where his professional en- 
 Sfajrements detained him until the follow- 
 ing month, and this was the last of those 
 happy traveling days in that sweet com- 
 panionship of their wedded life, which had 
 never been interrupted more than a few 
 days since their union. 
 
 Before Emily left for Tenby, she re- 
 quested me, in her absence, to remember 
 her need of a servant, 
 
 I heard of an aged Christian seeking a 
 Christian home for her granddaughter. 
 She had been carefully trained as a useful 
 servant, and I rejoiced in thinking that I 
 had an open door for her, as well as in 
 meeting the need of Mrs. Gosse. I wrote 
 at once, but during some delay in the de- 
 livery of the letter, the girl was engaged. 
 Emily writes thus : 
 
 "It is very strange that the young girl 
 should be engaged just as I inquired 
 about her ; but that sort of thing has 
 happened to me several times. The Lord 
 
 7
 
 98 • TELL JESUS. 
 
 knows best what servant I should have, 
 and I desire to believe he will provide me 
 with one — the right one." 
 
 The large share of blessing she received 
 in the conversion of her servants through 
 her means, might encourage others to 
 serv^e the Lord in this manner. Naturally 
 it is more pleasant to a Christian family 
 to receive a Christian servant. But with 
 those who walk with God the question 
 will always be, " What wouldst tJwii have 
 me to do } " and the result, though differ- 
 ent from what may have been anticipated, 
 will always bring peace. Thus again, the 
 Christian servant, standing alone in a 
 worldly family, if faithful to her heavenly 
 Master, and not a mere eye-server, will 
 shine as a living testimony for him, if he 
 has appointed her place of service. 
 
 How can we eat of the rich provision^ 
 of a Father's table, without longing for 
 those around us to share in the costly 
 blessing offered to all .-• The seamstress
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 99 
 
 comes and goes, the tradespeople around 
 partake of our custom, and yet, too often, 
 nothing but a silent testimony is given, 
 although the wise man has said, " A word 
 spoken in due season, how good is it ! " 
 
 One day when we were alone, Emily 
 spoke to me of the inconsistency of wear- 
 ing valuable ornaments ; and while she 
 did so, it was with some hesitation of 
 manner, as if she shrank from paining 
 me. She perceived that she had not made 
 the least impression. 
 
 I said frankly, that I did not feel it 
 wrong to do so. I did not wear or value 
 them for their intrinsic worth, but for the 
 associations connected with them. I had 
 worn them for years ; I should probably 
 always wear them. And tJicn I thought so. 
 
 She did not urge the point — perhaps 
 she felt it was useless ; but she said, in a 
 tone of self-reproof, which I have never 
 forgotten, " I should have waited for the 
 Lord." It reminds me of one who was
 
 lOO TELL JESUS. 
 
 pressing some such point on another 
 Christian, and was met by the question 
 " Who taught you that ? " The would-be 
 teacher repUed, " The Lord." " Then," 
 rejoined the other, " wait until the Lord 
 teaches me!' And most wisely Emily 
 waited. She never afterwards, by hint or 
 suggestion, alluded to the subject, or if 
 she did, I was not conscious of it. 
 
 Actions performed in deference to the 
 wishes or convictions of others are a vain 
 oblation. The laying aside of gold, and 
 pearls, and costly array, from such a motive 
 is of no more value in the sight of God, 
 titan the " Lord, Lord," of the foolish vir- 
 gins. Outward conduct will manifest the 
 inward life. " As a man thinketh in his 
 heart, so is he." 
 
 I found myself one day by the sick bed 
 of a poor woman, where I little thought 
 to receive the silent teaching of the Holy 
 Spirit. " But the sun is no sooner riseji 
 with a burning heat, but it withereth the
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. lOI 
 
 grass." As I knelt by her side, a gleam 
 of sunlight, from the half-closed casement 
 above us, fell on the ring I wore ; but this 
 was only a type of the beam of Love that 
 fell upon my soul ! My heart responded 
 to that divine influence. The diamond 
 flashed back the reflected ray. The sun- 
 beam had its mission from Him who crea- 
 ted and directed it. 
 
 The loving recollections which clustered 
 around the costly gem were lost in the 
 greater love of Him who laid down his 
 life for his enemies. 
 
 When I left that dreary little room for 
 my own chamber, it was to gather in a 
 heap the trinkets, valuable to me as records 
 of broken earthly ties, and lay them at the 
 feet of my gracious Lord with tears of joy. 
 
 He accepted them. The gold and the 
 silver are his, the beasts of the forest, and 
 the cattle upon a thousand hills. He may 
 use the hands of those who love him not, 
 when the hearts of those who know him
 
 102 TELL JESUS. 
 
 are cold in his service. Valueless to him 
 is the sacrifice of formalism without the 
 sweet constraint of love. 
 
 The soul may sometimes say, " Will he 
 have me adorn myself with his silver and 
 gold .'' Will it make me fairer in his eyes .-' 
 Do I seek to please man, or Jesus only .-' " 
 
 It is the state and position of the heart 
 toward God that has to be regarded ; for 
 though you give all your goods to feed the 
 poor, and give your body to be burned, 
 and have not charity, it profiteth nothing. 
 
 I speak what I do know, when I declare 
 that the delight of carrying such Egyp- 
 tian spoils, with all their fond associations, 
 to the feet of Jesus, must be tasted to be 
 understood ; while the love which rejoices 
 in his acceptance is sweeter to him than 
 
 all the rest — more precious than the fine 
 gold ! 
 
 Heed not whether the world may count 
 your offering small or great. It is prec- 
 ious in the eyes of the Lord of the whole
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. lOj 
 
 earth. As the tender parent smiles on 
 the babe who totters to his knee with the 
 gift of its first gathered daisy, so the 
 heavenly Father looks down on the feeblest 
 expression of his children's love. 
 
 These are landmarks on which the soul 
 looks back, and then erects her Peniels, 
 and presses on again, rejoicing that in 
 heaven we have an enduring substance. 
 
 Follower of the Crucified, shall we not 
 leave the world's baubles and costly array 
 for the worldling.? They can have no 
 worth in the sight of one who has seen 
 the King in his beauty, and whose future 
 home is with the Lord of glory ! 
 
 As the agonizing applications were con- 
 tinued, Emily found this visit to the sea- 
 side unlike all former ones, when the care 
 of the body had so Httle obtruded on her 
 notice. Nevertheless, she still found a 
 service, and she has told me how much 
 more she learned, even in sympathy for
 
 104 TELL JESUS. 
 
 Others, in this new path in which the Lord 
 of the harvest bade her sow. 
 
 On her return to London, after five 
 months' vain endurance of torture to dis- 
 perse the disease, the removal of the 
 tumor was advised as the most hopeful, 
 course. The long journeys to and fro 
 had now to be discontinued, and a lodging 
 taken for her at Pimlico, near to the doc- 
 tor's residence. Here she passed to 
 another spliere of teaching and trial, ac- 
 companied by her little son, her compan- 
 ion and assiduous nurse. 
 
 Sleep, which up to the present time had 
 not failed, now went from her, and it was 
 seldom that she slumbered birt for fitful 
 seasons, and these disturbed by the moan 
 that never escaped her patient lips, except 
 when wrung from her in the extremity of 
 anguish. Unable to find ease in any pos- 
 ture, she wandered up and down her 
 chamber, resting her head from time to 
 time upon the mantelpiece or against the 
 wall
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. IO5 
 
 Oh, truly this was a season to dwell on 
 the eternal faithfulness of Him whose word 
 is truth. Recollections of past blessings 
 and prospects of future joys had little 
 power to sustain ; it was the eternal 
 " NOW ; " the present pain of almost every 
 moment bearing up to the High Priest's 
 censer the patient sigh, the glance of trust. 
 The north wind of the Spirit was blowing 
 over the beds of spices, and the myrrh and 
 the aloes were as precious, nay, sweeter, 
 doubtless, to the blessed Husbandman in 
 this night season of proving, than the 
 "camphor, with spikenard, calamus, and 
 cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense," 
 yielded in the sunshine of her life's morn- 
 ing. 
 
 No cloud obscured her faith or shook 
 her trust ; she rested on the Rock, " r. 
 sign," — a child, believing in the irrmu-- 
 table woid of a loving Father and faithful 
 God! 
 
 In re'^igning the joy of her spirit, ii'
 
 I06 TELL JESUS. 
 
 seemed as if that, having ripened, was 
 " laid lip " for her : the new wine awaited 
 her in her Father's house ; slie could afford 
 to put by the spiced wine now, and drink 
 the myrrh in deeper fellowship with Jesus. 
 
 If the intensity of her suffering abated 
 it was all that could be said of the most 
 quiet hour ; never was she wholly free 
 again from its agony, until she put off her 
 heavy robe of earth, for the garment of 
 praise and the girdle of gladness, in the 
 light of the land of the Lamb. 
 
 Again she had to undergo the agonizing 
 application, and she resigned herself to the 
 new torture in calm submission to her 
 Father's will ; nor during the protracted 
 season of every new experience of suffering 
 did one word of murmuring escape her, 
 nor by expression or look was intimated a 
 doubt of the loving-kindness of her Lord. 
 She delighted to dv/ell on his goodness, 
 and this was often manifest to her. because 
 Qf her quick understanding in the fe^r of
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. IO7 
 
 the Lord, when others, less instructed in 
 God's school, might have failed to trace it. 
 " How merciful it is of the Lord, that 
 
 " was so frequent a commencement 
 
 of her sentences as to be recognized as 
 quite characteristic by those who were in- 
 timate with her.* 
 
 Once when I visited her at Pimlico, I 
 took with me some grapes, almost as much 
 for their rare beauty, as the delight of 
 carrying her anything to refresh her 
 fevered appetite. When I reached her 
 lodgings, I found her heated and excited 
 from an injudicious visitor who was in- 
 dulging in controversial argument, to the 
 distress of the dear sufferer. 
 
 And here I would say a word to those 
 who visit the sick room, either from solely 
 benevolent motives, or otherwise design- 
 ing spiritual benefit to those they visit. 
 r»o not forget that it is not simply a room 
 
 • " Memorial," p. 36.
 
 I08 TELL JESUS. 
 
 shut out from the external life from which 
 you come ; but also, if not of actual suffer- 
 ing, yet often of exhaustion consequent on 
 pain. Few are fitted to minister to the 
 sick, whether it be the body's ailment or 
 soul sickness. Those who have lived 
 much in such an atmosphere can tell how 
 the shattered frame and exhausted nerves 
 tremble beneath the bustling entrance, and 
 loud voice, and controversial conversation ; 
 and how the long-protracted visit, that has 
 no particular aim or object, robs the poor 
 sufferer of the hour's rest or comfort which 
 the visitor has no power to impart. There 
 is one way to be blessed, and to be made a 
 blessing. Waiting on jesus, you may 
 carry refreshment with you, and receive 
 in return some new lesson of love, learned 
 in the shadow of that cloud which you 
 have never under the same circumstances 
 entered ; but it is a special ministry. " I 
 was sick and ye visited me ! " This kept
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOFE. IO9 
 
 in remembrance will leave a blessing on 
 the giver and on the receiver. 
 
 The Lord moved her unpropitious visitor 
 to depart, and the weary, flushed face of 
 the invalid sank back, restored to its peace- 
 ful aspect as the pressure on her spirit v/as 
 removed. 
 
 I enjoyed speaking with her on the 
 Lord's love in angelic ministry, and scarce- 
 ly ever did we do so, but she alluded to or 
 repeated her favorite hymn. 
 
 "Thy minist'ring spirits descend 
 
 To watch while thy saints are asleep j 
 By day and by night they attend, 
 
 The heirs of salvation to keep : 
 Bright seraphs, dispatched from the throne, 
 
 Repair to the stations assigned, 
 And angels elect are sent down 
 
 To guard the elect of mankind. 
 
 " Their worship no interval knows, 
 Their fervor is still on the wing, 
 And while they protect my repose. 
 They chant to the praise of my King
 
 no TELL JESUS. 
 
 I, too, at the season ordained, 
 Their chorus forever shall join, 
 
 And love and adore without end 
 Their faithful Creator, and mine 
 
 » 
 
 As I bathed her heated hands and ar- 
 ranged her pillows this afternoon, she said, 
 " I have been thinking much, particularly 
 in the night, of the ministry of angels : I 
 am sure the angels brought you to me at 
 the moment I most needed you." 
 
 Then I traced with her the chain of cir- 
 cumstances that had not only led me to 
 London, but within a street or two of her 
 lodgings, which I knew not until I set out 
 to visit her, never having been there be- 
 fore. She exclaimed : 
 
 " How good the Lord was to send you^ 
 just when he did ! The Lord will reward 
 you." 
 
 I was silent. She smiled and added, 
 " Oh, I forgot, you will not be rewarded. 
 I must remember your theory, that when 
 we have pleasure in doing anything for
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 1 1 I 
 
 Jesus, we havQ our reward here, and are 
 not to expect any other in heaven. 1 
 think some of us will be surprised when 
 we get home, to find what the Lord saw 
 fitted for reward, and how much was sin." 
 A plate of grapes was on the table ; 
 this was a disappointment to me, and I 
 told her so, having thought to bring her 
 what perhaps she desired. Great I know 
 was my delight to find that the fruit was 
 uneatable, and that she had set it aside. 
 Those who have fei;v opportunities of thus 
 helping the sick ones, will share my pleas- 
 ure, when I opened the basket and showed 
 her the white-water grapes nestling in 
 their bed of fresh green leaves. And then 
 I had the joy of seeing also the Lord's 
 tenderness, in allowing me to experience 
 how such a trifling thing done for him 
 could be blessed. She held the last grape 
 in her attenuated fingers, and paused ; 
 her countenance was sweetly solemn, and
 
 112 TELL JESUS. 
 
 her eyes were closed. It was something 
 Hke the deep peace of her visioned face. 
 
 At last she spoke. " I have been ask- 
 ing Jesus never to let you want grapes in 
 your sickness ; and," she added emphat- 
 ically, " he never will!' 
 
 And here I witness to the acceptance 
 of Emily's loving prayer. Through long 
 and wearisome ilhiesses, and they have 
 been many, I have never lacked any good 
 thing, and above all, the tender love of 
 my heavenly Father has supplied me won- 
 derfully with this refreshing fruit, and 
 gladdened my heart by enabling me to 
 serve others from his abundant store. 
 Fit living emblem of Jesus, full of holy 
 associations, bringing in many a long 
 night-watch, thoughts of the past, invig- 
 orating to my soul ; none the least, the 
 recollection of that day's fervent prayer. 
 
 An endless record is the loving kindness 
 of my beloved Lord to me. Each ciiister 
 of grapes since that day has had its history ;
 
 rim PATIENCE OF HOPE, I 13 
 
 with every one comes the same sweet mes- 
 sage that was whispered to my heart, in 
 the dawn of that morning, so soun to 
 shine in the glory of the Lord on my 
 soul : — " Inasmuch as you have done it 
 unto her, you have done it unto me ! " 
 
 If any hope of Emily's partial restora- 
 tion had been indulged in, it was now 
 swept away. The terrible torture to which 
 her exhausted frame had been subjected, 
 was of no avail, as far as any curative 
 effect was concerned ; the doctor at last 
 pronouncing that the disease was in the 
 blood. This might have been manifested 
 in the first instance, and much of the sub- 
 sequent agony have been spared. But it 
 was the Lord's will that it should not be 
 so, and that this furnace of peculiar char- 
 acter should be used in the purification of 
 one whom he intended to honor. 
 
 Again this sorely-tried pair sought the 
 great Counselor, and found, as all must, 
 who seek him in simplicity and truth
 
 114 TELL JESUS. 
 
 peace, " perfect peace," becaust they trusted 
 in him. 
 
 Both felt that an entire change of treat- 
 ment was necessary, and that without 
 delay. 
 
 Emily had a strong predilection in favor 
 of homoeopathy ; she had always been its 
 firm advocate, and her husband's mind 
 inclining toward it, they decided upon a 
 homoeopathic course of treatment. 
 
 When I next saw her, I told her I re- 
 joiced in the decision, and that I had 
 greatly longed for her to try it the whole 
 time she was at Pimlico. 
 
 " And why, then, did you never urge it ? " 
 she inquired. 
 
 I explained to her how each time I tried 
 to do so I was withheld by the dread of 
 interfering with a treatment they had 
 both earnestly sought in prayer, and by a 
 fear of in any way unsettling her mind. 
 
 This seemed to her confirmatory that 
 the mixing of this loving ci p was all of
 
 THE TATIENCE OF HOPE. 11$ 
 
 Him whose name is love, and that not 
 one bitter drop in the draught, or one 
 blessing in its reception, could have been 
 spared. " For I reckon that the suffer- 
 ings of this present time are not worthy 
 to be compared with the glory which shall 
 be revealed in us." Rom. viii. i8. 
 
 She was at once removed from Pimlico, 
 to the comfort of her own home at Barns- 
 bury, and keenly realized the pleasant 
 change from their lodgings, which had 
 been primarily sought from their being 
 nearer Dr. . 
 
 Every day brought fresh occasion of 
 thanksgiving for this last step of depend- 
 ence on the Lord. 
 
 During this time of pain and weakness, 
 she saw through the press three of her 
 last tracts, " A Home Welcome," " The 
 Two Hospital Patients," and " The Dying 
 Postman," written during her stay at 
 Pimlico. 
 
 Her service was changing, but it was
 
 Il6 TELL JESUS. 
 
 the same Master who was rapidly mo\ing 
 her from one section to another of his 
 school, in each of which she learned some- 
 thing of him which she could have learned 
 under no other dispensation. She wrote 
 no more. 
 
 No exalted joys brightened her way ; 
 scarcely was it possible for that sorely 
 suffering frame to respond to gladness. 
 Neither was there one desponding sigh, 
 one murmur, to ruffle a peace that anchored 
 in the word of a covenant God. 
 
 Her nerves were shattered by unceasing 
 pain, and the enfeebled body worn by 
 sleeplessness and the semi-recumbent po- 
 sition which she was obliged to maintain. 
 The powerful remedies, used to combat 
 the disease and produce sleep, had acted 
 on the susceptible nervous temperament, 
 so that the once strong brain and vigorous 
 thought could no longer be concentrated 
 upon a subject, and many days she could 
 look no farther than to the cessation of the
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE, IT/ 
 
 present paroxysm of pain, to the hope of 
 relief. Her trust in the faithfuhiess of Him 
 with whom she had walked in the cheerful 
 and unclouded noonday, was her trust still, 
 in the thorny path, with the shadows of 
 night lengthening round her. 
 
 A few verses at most from that Book 
 which had been her life's treasure were as 
 much as she could bear. A beautiful hymn 
 of Toplady's was her favorite throughout 
 her illness ; she was never weary of hear- 
 ing it : 
 
 " Kind Author and ground of my hope. 
 
 Thee, tliee for my God I avow ; 
 My glad Ebemzer set up, 
 
 And own thou hast helped nie till now. 
 I muse on the years that are past, 
 
 Wherein my defense thou hast proved. 
 Nor wilt tliou relinquish at last 
 
 A sinner so signally loved." 
 
 And this last line she often dwelt on with 
 peculiar delight. 
 
 The beloved companion of her labors of
 
 Il8 TELL JESUS. 
 
 love, who shared with her in seeking out 
 of the Book of the Lord and reading 
 therein, had now become the tender nurse 
 of her sick cliambcr ; and, to add to many 
 blessings, a relative left her own family 
 unsolicited, to go to them and help at a 
 time when such sisterly love was the im- 
 mediate answer to prayer. 
 
 It may be a mystery to some why these 
 things should be, that one so devoted to 
 her Master's service should be called to 
 lay down the work so dear to her heart. 
 We cannot trace the dealings of the Lord 
 with his people by the light of nature, nor 
 hear his voice in the storm that beats 
 around our own path, with the natural ear. 
 " We walk by faith, not by sight." 
 
 Some deeper lesson to be learned, some 
 secret thing of God to be revealed, some 
 hitherto unknown manifestation of the 
 Comforter, is often reserved for the sanc- 
 tuary of the sick chamber. 
 
 Suffering is still a service, not only be-
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 1 1 9 
 
 fore Christ and the unseen world, but also 
 for that multitude among whom the sufferer 
 can no longer visibly minister. 
 
 There are lone watches in the night, 
 when Jesus and the soul have deep com- 
 munings ; and as the hours pass of the 
 day that calls others to its labor, the Lord 
 is gathering from many a secluded priest 
 the prayer that shall fall in blessings on 
 the seed scattered in his name. 
 
 Nor was the sick room of Emily Gosse 
 without its ministry. When unaBle longer 
 to write, the packets of tracts and papers 
 that went forth under her direction be- 
 came messages of love ; — more deeply 
 valued from the very circumstance of her 
 remembrance amid her own severe suffer- 
 ings. 
 
 " She possessed," observes her husband, 
 " a remarkable power of obtaining the con- 
 fidence of strangers. It was quite a com- 
 mon occurrence for a traveling companion 
 to open up to her the history of a life, and
 
 120 TELL JESUS. 
 
 this though she was by no means commu- 
 nicative of her own private affairs. Often 
 has she come home and told me a story 
 full of romantic passages, which had been 
 confided to her by some forlorn woman, 
 whom she had met laden with trouble. I 
 believe it was owing to her great power of 
 sympathy, which was quick to read trouble 
 and sorrow in another's countenance, and 
 which then, by some gentle word of in- 
 quiry or condolence, opened the springs 
 of grief, so that it flowed forth. 
 
 " And then she was a willing and atten- 
 tive listener, and a wise and judicious 
 counselor ; and while she did not fail to 
 manifest her interest in the temporal sor- 
 rows thus confided to her, she always 
 sought to make the conversation an occa- 
 sion for introducing higher topics. It was 
 one prominent feature of her character, 
 that she was always on the watch for occa- 
 sions of speaking a word for Jesus. 
 
 " If her companion was a believer, she
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 121 
 
 would try to" excite a more potent faith, if 
 that was lacking, in the wisdom and love 
 of God ; and specially she loved to lead up 
 the thoughts to Jesus, as the great High 
 Priest, and the unfailing Advocate. But 
 if, as was commonly the case, such themes 
 elicited no response, or only that vague 
 assent which tells that the hearer has no 
 interest in them, then she would ingeni- 
 ously, and without obtrusiveness, speak of 
 the need of being prepared for eternity, of 
 the mode in which such a preparation was 
 to be obtained, and of the cleansing blood 
 of Christ. If there was one gospel text 
 which more than any other she delighted 
 to quote in such conversation, it was 'this : 
 ' The blood of Jesus Christ, God's Son, 
 cleanscth us from all sin.' " i John, i. 7. 
 
 She was very slow to judge others, but 
 very swift in judging herself; and that 
 even in offices of benevolence. She said, 
 " Unless we are doing the Lord's will, 
 even in relieving others, we may be inter-
 
 122 TELL JESUS, 
 
 fering with his work. It was great pain 
 
 to me to den}' myself in regard to E 
 
 yesterday ; but I had asked Jesus It 
 would have been easier to the flesh to 
 give, but it was not his will, and I with- 
 held the money." 
 
 I confessed to her that I had given, and 
 had not asked counsel of the Lord. A 
 year after her decease I was allowed to 
 see that I had walked by sense and natu- 
 ral benevolence ; Emily in the power of 
 the faith of the new man. 
 
 We were speaking of the busy workers 
 and benevolent people who care nothing 
 for the Lord himself 
 
 I had found it difficult then to realize 
 that those who showed kindness to the 
 Lord's people, and assisted in work for 
 his purposes, could be wholly unapproved 
 of him. So slow was I to recognize the 
 utterly lost slate of the natural man. I 
 had not seen then, that the cup of cold
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 1 23 
 
 water, given to his least disciple, must be 
 given for the sake of Jcsiis, to be accepted. 
 
 Emily's remark was, "They are like 
 Noah's carpenters ; " and turning to hei 
 husband she said, smiling : 
 
 " Henry, you illustrate it." 
 
 Mr. Gosse kindly put down his book, 
 and replied readily : 
 
 " Suppose I have a son who is at enmity 
 with me, and refuses to be reconciled. He 
 will not live with me, he has a house next 
 door, he is content to dwell in it, and 
 never sec my face. I am rearing some 
 caterpillars in my garden, to which I at- 
 tach value ; my son amuses himself by 
 leaning over the wall to feed my caterpil- 
 lars, which I can do without him ; shall I 
 owe him gratitude, that he amuses him- 
 self, while he refuses to be reconciled to 
 me?" 
 
 One who had lived in sweet fellowship 
 with her eighteen years before T was 
 blessed in knowing her, thus writes:
 
 124 TELL JESUS. 
 
 " I can truly say, that almost every rec- 
 ollection of my much beloved friend is 
 fragrant with the name of Jesus. She 
 lived to serve and glorify him ; it was the 
 one object of her life. I do not think I 
 ever met with a person so s,ingle-eyed, or 
 so consistent as a Christian : it was to me 
 a continual memento of what we ought to 
 be. Prayer was her strength ; she took 
 everything to Jesus : things pleasant or 
 sad, perplexing or comforting, alike were 
 imparted into his ever open ear. Oh, how 
 often have we knelt together, and she has 
 taught me to seek for grace for others as 
 well as myself, at a throne of grace ! She 
 used to say, ' We can never speak against 
 any one we have prayed for ; ' and ' Let us 
 ask the Lord,' was her continual invitation. 
 Her prayers were most simple and fervent, 
 literally those of a loving child, in the 
 greatest simplicity telling her Father 
 everything, and owning his hand in every- 
 thing. She used to say nothing was too
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 125 
 
 minute for him to care for ; and if she in- 
 tended to go one way, and her plans were 
 quite defeated, she could rejoice in the 
 conviction that he was guiding her path, 
 and this was happiness. She had great 
 sympathy for those in trial, and sought by 
 prayer to help them when in no other way 
 she could. Though extremely cheerful, 
 her heart responded instantly to the plea 
 of sorrow, and by personal sympathy and 
 prayer she made the trials of others her 
 own. 
 
 " She was a most devoted daughter and 
 sister. She told me her mother was a 
 peculiarly clever woman, and that they 
 were chiefly indebted to her for their love 
 of knowledge. She taught them the 
 classics, and Emily herself was quite a 
 scholar. Latin and Greek she was famil- 
 iar with ; I feel uncertain about Hebrew. 
 She was fond of teaching, and for some 
 years, I know, she maintained her brother 
 at the university by her disinterested ap-
 
 126 TELL JESUS. 
 
 propriation of her income to this object. 
 They were a most united family. 
 
 " Among the many precious reminiscen- 
 ces of our friendship, few things strike me 
 more forcibly than what I would call her 
 * family love.' No matter whether rich or 
 poor, learned or unlearned, agreeable or 
 disagreeable, if she discovered in them the 
 lineaments of her blessed Saviour, she 
 was irresistibly attracted to them, and 
 sought in every way to get good, or to do 
 good. 
 
 " Her self-denying efforts were unwea- 
 ried in cases of emergency or distress, and 
 no amount of disappointment or personal 
 discomfort would change her purpose. 
 Sometimes, when surprise has been ex- 
 pressed that she was not discouraged, she 
 would say, 'We are all clay in the hands 
 of the great Potter. He knows how to 
 accomplish his purpose of making us 
 vessels of honor ; and as I must meet 
 them in the glory and admire them then,
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 1 27 
 
 I had better begin now to try what there 
 is to like.' Thus would she check a de- 
 tracting spirit in others, by her example 
 as well as her words, and lead the thoughts 
 of her companions to that coming day, 
 when Jesus Christ will own every instance 
 of such service as done to himself. 
 
 " I have often thought the ' inasmuch ' 
 richly belonged to her. Do you remem- 
 ber her happy cheerfulness which made 
 her such a bright home companion, never 
 gloomy, always buoyant for the occasion ? 
 
 "Those who knew her best loved her 
 most, and were sure of her sympathy for 
 joy or sorrow. Yet it is only right to 
 state, lest some who slightly knew her 
 should consider her character overdrawn, 
 that a certain btiisqiierie of manner, and a 
 want of completeness in the minor eti- 
 quette of society, often did great injustice 
 to the real refinement of heart and mind 
 which she eminently possessed. 
 
 " After her marriage I saw much less
 
 128 TELL JESUS. 
 
 of her ; but still learned by her example 
 the value of God's Word, its practical 
 power to meet every circumstance of life. 
 It was a great change to one who had 
 been always at liberty to visit and care for 
 others, to fulfill literally the apostle's in- 
 junction to be a 'keeper at home,' to 
 ' submit herself to her husband as to the 
 Lord ; ' but she owned the duty as im- 
 parted from on high, and sought for the 
 needed grace to 'adorn the doctrine/ 
 She daily sought to ' reverence her hus- 
 band,' and to merge all her tastes and 
 wishes in his, so that she truly became a 
 meet helper to him, and they walked to- 
 gether ' as heirs of the grace of life.' She 
 greatly dreaded anything that should 
 hinder their prayers ; for union in Jesus 
 was her aim in everything. Her sphere 
 of service from this time was changed ; 
 but still how useful ! What she did will 
 only be known when the secrets of all 
 hearts will be revealed ; her tracts prove
 
 THE PATIENCE OF HOPE. 1 29 
 
 much. I believe few, if any, knew that 
 they (Mr. G. and herself) mainly support- 
 ed a missionary to the jDOor, and she her- 
 self told me that most of the striking 
 anecdotes related in her tracts came under 
 their notice through his visitations ; others 
 occurred to herself, and all were true. 
 
 " Dear Emily ! I love to think of her, 
 and owe much, very much to her ; for our 
 most intimate intercourse was ever at the 
 mercy-seat. The last time she was here 
 seems but a few weeks since, so vividly is 
 it before my mental eye. She had been 
 to consult a physician, and told me, for 
 the first time, what were her own fears and 
 his confirmation. Oh, how rapidly from 
 that day she faded ! It is dif^cult not to 
 repeat, whenever I think of her, ' Let me 
 not fall into the hands of man, but into 
 the hands of God.' It was a fiery ordeal 
 she endured during her last weeks on 
 earth ; but never can I forget her patience, 
 submission, and peace. Truly she realized 
 9
 
 130 TELL JESUS. 
 
 the promise of * perfect peace ' to them 
 who wait upon Him. I only saw her three 
 or four times. She seemed cut down in 
 the vigor of hfe ; but doubtless her work 
 was done. I can always feel as regards 
 her how truly ' blessed are the dead that 
 die in the Lord ; they rest from their 
 labors, and their works do follow them.' **
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 DEPARTURE. 
 
 " And the glory of the Lord came into the house by the waf 
 of the gate whose prospect is toward the east." 
 
 EzEK. xliii. 4. 
 
 OD will not lay on you one stroke 
 more than you are able to bear," 
 said a visitor to a dear child of 
 the Father, whom she was glorifying in 
 the fire of sickness and trial. 
 
 She replied, " I do not feel as if God 
 were bcatmg me. He was not angry when 
 he allowed the Israelitish youths to be cast 
 into the fiery furnace." 
 
 The bonds and imprisonment of Paul 
 were no marks of displeasure from the 
 Lord. The " chosen vessel " was honored 
 by suffering great things for the name of 
 him he went forth to preach. Paul and 
 
 131
 
 132 TELL JESUS. 
 
 Silas were not cast into prison for their 
 own sins, but for the salvation of the jailor 
 of Philippi. And, surely, when Peter was 
 a solitary prisoner, and prayer moved the 
 hinge of the iron gate, he did not look 
 back to the day when he was delivered 
 into the hands of four quaternions of sol- 
 diers, as if it had been a punishment for 
 sin ! 
 
 The Good Shepherd's rod, guiding 
 Emily into places and positions in which 
 she might learn this wilderness experi- 
 ence, which could not be learned in her 
 home of light, was the only rod that she 
 recognized. God is love ; therefore, all 
 that his children expect is love, and all 
 they receive from him is love. 
 
 If a loving father, conscious of the un- 
 developed powers of his son, gives him 
 what appears to the ignorant a cruel task 
 to study it is not so to the son. He has 
 learned enough to be sure that such teach- 
 ins: is needful for the future career for
 
 DEPARTURE. 1 33 
 
 which his father designs him. For its 
 acquisition, he must necessarily forego 
 many a mountain ramble and many a twi- 
 light wandering ; yet he knows no good 
 thing has his father withheld from him, 
 and that problem to be solved, and this 
 language to be learned in a strange land, 
 are among the ''all things" that work to- 
 gether for his good. 
 
 To have sunk under painless disease, in 
 an atmosphere of praise and joy, would 
 have had little teaching in comparison to 
 this solemn season of almost unmitigated 
 suffering. 
 
 At the word of the Lord, Emily had 
 thankfully walked in the sunshiny paths 
 telling of Him, whom to follow was her 
 whole life's glad service ; and now, when 
 he laid her low — how low ! — and put into 
 her hand the cup mingled with myrrh, in 
 place of the new wine, it was well also. 
 
 In one of the only two interviews I 
 had with her after her return home, Emily
 
 134 TELL JESUS. 
 
 told me that she hoped, if her life should 
 be prolonged, she should soon be accus- 
 tomed to her sick room, and her body 
 would not require so much of her care. 
 " Then," she added, " then my chamber 
 will be a little Bethel ! " 
 
 While alluding to her sufferings, she 
 said, " I am being pruned and purged ; 
 you will not think I am making much of 
 myself when I say, that it is that I may 
 bring forth more fruit." 
 
 While I was writing this, I received a 
 letter from a dear friend ; its last page 
 is full of the subject that was filling my 
 heart as I recalled the precious dealing of 
 a Father's loving hand. I give it without 
 marring it by comments of my own, be- 
 lieving that it has its message to some 
 waiting soul — now willing to wait and 
 suffer, where once it loved to labor : 
 
 " We may well b^ content to be noth- 
 ing, if only God be glorified. I have lately 
 been led to look on affliction as the purging
 
 DEPARTURE. 135 
 
 process which is necessary for the branch 
 ere it can bring forth fruit. There must 
 first hcfniit to characterize the branch as 
 a living one on the true vine, then the 
 purging comes, and, as a result, more fruit ; 
 but it is the secret abiding in Him, the 
 close, holy fellowship with Jesus, which 
 produces much fruit ; and perhaps it is 
 oftenest in affliction that we get into this 
 holy fellowship. When the world is dark 
 around us, then we have only his light to 
 walk in ; for walking in the light and 
 having fellowship are clo§ely connected. 
 And what is the fruit ? Might we not be 
 tempted oftentimes to think much zeal, 
 activity, and vigor, in our Master's service ; 
 much talking to others, and preaching, 
 teaching, and running about. But what is 
 our Master's estimate of fruit ? What in 
 his sight is a fruit-bearing branch .-' " Love, 
 joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, good- 
 ness, faith, meekness, temperance." — Gal. 
 V. 22, 23. — Are we not often tempted to
 
 136 TELL JESUS. 
 
 call things by wrong names, and to take 
 our own standard of things and bring it 
 to God's Word, rather than to take God's 
 standard and put aside our own ? Dear, 
 dear sister, we shall understand all by and 
 by, all our Father's dealings with us, and 
 then we shall indeed rejoice." 
 
 Before I left her, Emily asked me to 
 repeat my golden dream once more. 
 
 And this time her eyes filled with tears, 
 and my own voice was broken. I knew 
 not, though my heart seemed to whisper, 
 that when I next saw that pale, emaciated 
 form she would be clad in her marriage 
 robe, and, all fresh and lovely as in my 
 heavenly vision, would stand in the pres- 
 ence of the King in his beauty. 
 
 She told me of the sympathy for the 
 poor and lonely that her lodgings had 
 taught her, though it always seemed to me 
 that she never lacked sympathy for any 
 form of distress or suffering. 
 
 " How tenderly," she said, "we should
 
 DEPARTURE. 1 37 
 
 think of the sick ; the disorder of the sick 
 room, instead of exciting blame or disgust, 
 should call forth our pity. Perhaps, if 
 they have any one to care for them, even 
 they may have many claims upon them, 
 and this I have learned, with other things, 
 here." 
 
 Consumption was now evident, and a 
 second physician pronounced that either 
 of the diseases then present might be the 
 immediate cause of death. No hope of 
 recovery was held forth ; but no probabil- 
 ity of a speedy decease was anticipated. 
 
 Under the homoeopathic treatment there 
 was a manifest improvement, and it is 
 sweet to see the tender love of the Great 
 Physician, leading these waiting ones to 
 such means as should now soothe in some 
 measure the shattered nerves, and alleviate 
 the worst of her sufferings. 
 
 As far as could be ascertained, the prog- 
 ress of the second cancer was but tempo-
 
 138 TELL JESUS. 
 
 rarily arrested ; the restlessness caused by 
 the medicine and depression disappeared. 
 Her cough, however, still visited her in 
 continued paroxysms, shaking her worn 
 frame, and depriving her of rest. It was 
 seldom that she obtained more than half- 
 an hour's sleep. 
 
 " It had become evident to us both," 
 observes Mr. Gosse, " that the severance 
 of that happy union, which without a 
 single interruption of its peace and love 
 had been vouchsafed to us for the last 
 eight years, was an event not very far from 
 us. We looked it in the face ; we well 
 knew no blessing, no strength, was to be 
 gained by concealing it from ourselves or 
 from each other, and we talked of it freely. 
 To me the prospect was dark indeed ; but 
 to her death had no terrors. Our dear 
 child she was able to leave in the hands of 
 thai loving Lord for whom she had trained 
 him from earliest infancy, and to whose 
 tender care she now in tlT^^onfidence of
 
 DEPARTURE. 1 39 
 
 faith committed him ; but her loving heart 
 deeply tasted the bitterness of the cup 
 which she saw I should soon have to drink. 
 It was but a day or two before her depart- 
 ure that she said to me, with a look of un- 
 utterable affection, and with peculiar em- 
 phasis, dwelling on each precious word, 
 now embalmed in my inmost heart, ' I love 
 you — better than on my wedding day — 
 better than when I was taken ill — better 
 than when I came home from Pimlico.' 
 
 " At another time she said, ' My beloved 
 Henry, gladly would I remain, if such 
 were the Lord's will, and be your compan- 
 ion for the rest of your pilgrimage ! ' 
 
 " Nor was this the language of mere 
 natural affection, however tender or re- 
 fined ; it was evoked by that which in her 
 was ever the master principle, an earnest 
 longing after the spiritual welfare of those 
 whom she loved. She was not ignorant — 
 she could not be — how often the Lord 
 had used her unworldly faith, her unselfish
 
 140 TELL JESUS. 
 
 love, her saintly devotion, her wise and 
 godly counsel, to the promotion of my 
 best interests, checking and counteracting 
 the earthly tendencies of my heart, and 
 its proneness to love this present world. 
 The faith that could leave her child to the 
 care of her covenant God, could with 
 difficulty leave her husband to the same 
 care. 
 
 " Another proof of the faithfulness of 
 God in hearing prayer, was the- mitigation 
 of actual pain as the closing scene drew 
 near. Knowing as we did in what terri- 
 ble agony this disease often ends, * * * 
 our eyes were lifted up to the Lord, that 
 he would spare his child the depth of this 
 affliction." And he graciously did, al- 
 though power was almost lost on one side, 
 and her breathing increasingly oppressed. 
 
 Amidst the varied sufferings or discom- 
 forts which tried her wasted frame, her 
 quiet, patient submission to the will of 
 God never failed. " Throughout her ill-
 
 DEPARTURE, 14! 
 
 ness," continues Mr. Gosse, " I never 
 heard an approach to a murmur. 
 
 " A week or two before her departure, 
 the course of reading in family worship 
 brought us to John xiii. I had made a 
 few remarks on the grace of the Lord in 
 purging his own from defilement, and on 
 the various modes in which he effects it ; 
 and turning to her, I said, ' Jesus is wash- 
 ing your feet now, love.' 
 
 " This little observation was used to 
 her great comfort and refreshment ; and 
 she repeatedly told me afterwards, that 
 thenceforth it became one of her favorite 
 words until the last ; ' Jesus is washing 
 my feet ! ' 
 
 " The anticipation of being soon in the 
 presence of the Lord who had redeemed 
 her was delightful to her. To a friend, 
 who called a few days before her depart- 
 ure, she said, ' This will be the happiest 
 year of my life, for I shall see Jesus.' 
 
 " At another time she said, ' I do not
 
 " 142 TELL JESUS. 
 
 desire to die. I am ready to go if the 
 Lord so chooses, but I am willing to live 
 longer for your sake.' I have already 
 explained, that living for my sake was in 
 her mind only a phrase for laboring for 
 the Lord. 
 
 "I said, 'Is Jesus precious to you.?' 
 She knew I meant consciously, joyously 
 precious. 
 
 "She replied, 'I cannot say that; I 
 have not the joys I expected ; 1 7'est upon 
 his word, his inspiration.' 
 
 " It had been a favorite thought of hers, 
 that the saints of God are in their last 
 moments often favored with sights and 
 sounds that belong to the world they are 
 approaching. 
 
 " In some descriptions of happy death- 
 beds such are not*unfrequently spoken of. 
 I think that they rested a good deal on 
 her mind, and that she in some measure 
 hoped they would be vouchsafed to herself. 
 But may I not affirm that God gave her
 
 DEPARTURE. I43 
 
 a better thing? For surely it was a 
 nobler testimony that she could calmly 
 face death, ' resting on his word, his inspi- 
 ration,' than any that she might have giv- 
 en respecting the most rapturous sensible 
 manifestations. Like the old worthies 
 ' witnessed unto ' by the Holy Ghost, she 
 ' died in faith.' 
 
 " I have since thought that the Lord in- 
 tended her a special honor in thus calling 
 her to go out of the world without any 
 sensible joy, resting on his Word alone. 
 
 " If there was one principle that, more 
 than all besides, she had insisted on in 
 her Gospel tracts, it was this — That it is 
 the part of faith not to seek for evidence 
 from feelings, fruits, or anything within, 
 but simply to take the naked Word of 
 God. 
 
 " This is strongly brought out by her in 
 her tracts — ' John Clarke,' ' John Clarke's 
 Wife,' ' The Old Soldier's Widow,' etc. 
 
 " She had strongly taught, that in the
 
 144 TELL JESUS. 
 
 matter of salvation, God's simple 'yea* 
 and 'amen' is a rock stable enough to 
 stand on, without any support besides. 
 He chose that she should give a dying 
 testimony to the same truth ; that she 
 should herself be testimony ; that she 
 should herself be content to pass into 
 eternity, with no other support than the 
 Word of ' the unlying God.' " 
 
 Nor was hers a singular case. Many 
 who have walked in the full light of God's 
 smile, witnessing for him through a life- 
 time devoted to his service, and in sweet 
 communion with the heavenly Three in 
 One, have, during the last scene, by the 
 absence of all joyous feelings, been called 
 to a yet deeper experience than they have 
 ever known of simple faith and trust in 
 the word and promise of that living God, 
 whom, net seeing, they still love. We all 
 can testify, who have walked in the light, 
 that to bask on the mountain top, in the 
 sensible presence of Jesus, may well en-
 
 DEP.iRTURE. 1 45 
 
 able us to breast the stormy billows. But 
 to believe that he is with us, though we 
 cannot see his face ; to know that he is 
 our own Jesus, the same in the darkest 
 valley as on the Mount of Transfiguration, 
 is a far higher exercise of faith. The day's 
 testimony has proclaimed, " I am his, and 
 he is mine," and the setting life sinks 
 peacefully to rest on, " / know whom I have 
 believed." 
 
 "On Saturday, the 7th of February," 
 again observes her husband, " it became 
 evident that the parting scene could not 
 be delayed ; she gave me her dying coun- 
 sels, expressed her wishes concerning our 
 child, dictated a long catalogue of friends 
 to whom the fact of her death was to be 
 communicated, and set her house in order. 
 
 " In solemnly reviewing the history of 
 our married life, she spoke of the princi- 
 ples by which she had striven to walk, and 
 ended with the following words : ' I feel 
 that, be it much or little, I have finished
 
 146 TELL JESUS. 
 
 my course. I have loved the Lord and 
 his work ; and my only thought, if he 
 were to give me another twelvemonth of 
 life, would be, that I might labor a little 
 more for him.' 
 
 " Her last day on earth was now come. 
 It was one of brilliant sunshine, — a lovely 
 day for mid-winter. We had moved her 
 to her couch toward the window, and as 
 the bright sunlight streamed upon her 
 countenance, we little thought she would 
 see that sun no more. As she lay still, 
 she said, ' I shall see his bright face, and 
 shall shine in his brightness, and shall 
 sing his praise in strains never uttered 
 below.' 
 
 ** As night drew on, a change became
 
 DEPARTURE. I 47 
 
 manifest. Soon after eight o'clock she 
 experienced a partial paralysis of the 
 tongue, so that speech was scarcely in- 
 telligible. In allusion to this, and dread- 
 ing that she might linger some time with- 
 out the power of speech, she said, * The 
 Lord has hitherto raised me up above cir- 
 cumstances. He has made me to ride 
 upon the high places of the earth, and now 
 he has brought me down, and now he has 
 made me to fear.' 
 
 " ' Fear what, my darling ? ' I asked. 
 
 " ' Paralysis.' 
 
 " Presently she said, ' 'Tis a pleasant 
 way — more pleasant than when I could 
 not pray for what would make you un- 
 happy.' I suppose she referred to the 
 circumstance, that within the last day or 
 two I had been able solemnly to resign her 
 into the hands of Him who, for a season, 
 had lent her to me, and who now reclaimed 
 his loan. 
 
 " She looked on us hanging over her,
 
 148 TELL JESUS. 
 
 and said, as if the thought of eternal union 
 were delightful to her, ' One family, one 
 song ! ' 
 
 " At times she fell into momentary ■ 
 slumbers, and though her speech was not 
 altogether intelligible, yet it was ever of 
 him whose ' best wine for his beloved 
 goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of 
 those that are asleep to speak.' In one 
 of these murmurings I made out the words, 
 ' Open the gates ; open the gates, and let 
 me in.' Ah ! the blessed of the Lord 
 had not much longer to stand without. 
 
 " I spoke to her of the freeness of gos- 
 pel grace, which she had proclaimed so 
 fully ; she replied : 
 
 " ' I see it' 
 
 " * See what, love ? ' I asked. 
 
 " ' I see the freeness of gospel grace 
 that I have set before* others, but in ex- 
 treme weakness ; immediately adding, lest 
 the expression should be misunderstood
 
 DEPAHTIJKF,. I49 
 
 as meaning dimness of apprehension of 
 the truth, ' In extreme weakness of body* 
 
 " She murmured, * I am going home ; I 
 must go home.' 
 
 " * Yes,' I replied, ' what a blessing that 
 you have a home to go to ! ' 
 
 " She immediately added, almost inartic- 
 ulately, 'And a hearty welcome.' This 
 was in allusion to one of her last tracts, 
 which in manuscript hadL been entitled, 
 * A Home and a Hearty Welcome.' 
 
 "After a while our precious sufferer 
 said, ' I shall walk with him in white ; 
 won't you take your Iamb and walk with 
 me?' 
 
 " This she repeated twice or thrice, as 
 she saw I did not readily catch her mean- 
 ing. I believe, however, she alluded to 
 our dear child." 
 
 Her eyes, now dim with the shadow of 
 death, turned upon her husband, who was 
 hanging over her, and addressing him by
 
 150 TELL JESUS. 
 
 the old endearing name, she said, " Dear 
 papa, I'm all ready." 
 
 " What has made you ready ? " he in- 
 quired. 
 
 " ' The blood ! ' Then she added, ' The 
 blood of the Lamb' 
 
 " This precious testimony was the last 
 sentence that issued from her lips. It 
 had been her joy in life to proclaim the 
 sufficiency of that blood, and now she 
 died on it." 
 
 She noticed nothing more, and exactly 
 as the hour proclaimed a new day dawn- 
 ing, a brighter one broke upon her vision. 
 One long-drawn sigh, and the happy spirit 
 had entered the gate. Then, kneeling 
 round, the watchers of that bed of suffer- 
 ing gave thanks, amid sobs and tears, for 
 her peaceful admission into her happy 
 home. 
 
 Abney Park Cemetery was chosen as 
 the place for the deposit of her dust, there
 
 DEPARTURE. 1 5 1 
 
 to rest until the approaching manifesta- 
 tion of the sons of God. Then she shall 
 rise to meet her Lord, renewed in resur- 
 rection power and beauty, changed into 
 his likeness whose glory was precious to 
 her soul. 
 
 On Friday, the 13th of February, 1857, 
 " they took up the body and buried it, and 
 went and told Jesus." 
 
 A plain stone, under the shadow of a 
 lofty elm, bears the following words : 
 
 THE DUST OF 
 
 EMILY GOSSE, 
 
 WHO SLEPT IN JESUS 
 
 Feb. 9th, 1857, 
 
 WAITS HERE THE MORNING 
 OF THE 
 
 FIRST RESURRECTION, 
 
 How can I close these pages, that may 
 fall beneath the eye of the careless, the 
 scoffer, the unsaved ? I am humbled to
 
 152 TELL -JESUS. 
 
 think how my own soul has been fed with 
 those words which to them mast be a 
 strange speech. 
 
 This Friend, this Elder Brother of his 
 Father's redeemed family, is the Friend 
 of sinners. Sinner, he has died for you. 
 Behold his hands and his feet ! But you 
 are blind and cannot see him ; you cannot 
 trace him in his providence, nor adore him 
 in his work. Neither has affliction its 
 blessings, nor is death the herald of the 
 King of Peace to you. 
 
 Oh ! will you not come to him, that you 
 may receive your sight? To-day, even 
 to-day, the Son of God is passing by. It 
 is the Good Physician, Jesus of Nazareth. 
 He saith unto you, " What wouldest thou 
 that I should do unto thee ? " Oh ! tell 
 Jesus.
 
 THTC LOVING CUP. I 53 
 
 THE LOVING CUP. 
 
 "Tic cup which my Father hath g-iven me, shall I not drink 
 it?" — John xviii. 11. 
 
 Come, drink ye, drink ye all of it. 
 
 Pale children of a King; 
 No poison mingles in the draught, 
 
 So, while ye suffer, sing. 
 'Tis Love's own Life hath won it ua, 
 
 Christ's lip hath pressed the brim: 
 Come, drink ye, drink ye all of it. 
 
 In fellowship with him! 
 
 Oh ! shun not thou the loving cup. 
 
 Nor tremble at its hue ; 
 There is no bitter in the bowl, 
 
 But Jesus drank it too. 
 He counts tliy tears, and knows thy pain, 
 
 Yea, every woe is weighed ; 
 And not a cross he bids thee bear, 
 
 Bat once on him was laid.
 
 154 . TELL lESUS. 
 
 Come, drink ye of the loving cup I 
 
 Thou wouldst not pass it by ? 
 'Tis kept for every chosen one 
 
 Of God's dear family. 
 Nor, unbelieving, turn aside ; 
 
 Thy Lord the cup bestows : 
 And oh ! his face, above thee bent. 
 
 With love and pity glows. 
 
 Those hands, once bleeding on the crosi. 
 
 Are now outstretched to bless, 
 He draws thee closer to his heart 
 
 For that cup's bitterness : 
 He hears thy faintly-sobbing breath, 
 
 He marks each quivering limb ; 
 He drank it once for thee alone — 
 
 Child ! drink it now with him. 
 
 Let earth bring forth its bitter herbs. 
 
 Soon all their power shall cease; 
 Come tribulation, if it will, 
 
 With Christ's abiding peace. 
 I take the cup — the loving cup, 
 
 Thrice blessed shall it be ; 
 I would not miss one gift, O Lord, 
 
 Thy blood hath bought for me.
 
 THE 
 
 SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 BY 
 
 ANNA SHIPTON, 
 
 AUTHOR OF "TELL JESUS," "THE WATCH TOWER,' 
 
 "WAYSIDE SERVICE," "THE LOST BLESSING," 
 
 ETC., ETC. 
 
 NEW YORK: 
 PUBLISHED BY T. Y. CROWELL, 
 
 744 BROADWAY.
 
 llOl the Lord, the true God, the living God, 
 the everlasting King, I commit this fee- 
 ble effort to show forth his praise. May 
 he who giveth life to the dead, and taketh 
 note of the fall of a sparrow, give life, and 
 speech, and blessing, to the following simple 
 pages. 
 
 All that is of himself shall live. May all 
 that is not according to the mind of the Spirit 
 be blotted out in the precious blood of the 
 Lamb slain, 
 
 For Jesus' sake, 
 
 Amen".
 
 CONTENTS. 
 
 CHAPTER L PAGE 
 The Raven's Cry 7 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 WALKING WITH GOD 21 
 
 [CHAPTER III. 
 Leaning on Jesus 52 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 Fellowship 75 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 THE Witness of the Spirit 93 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 Desekt Places 114 
 
 CHAPTER VII. 
 The Way of the Lord 150 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 The Sympathy of Jesus 186 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 The Great Adversary 209 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 Testimony 220 
 
 5
 
 The Secret of the Lord. 
 
 CHAPTER I. 
 
 THE BA yen's CRY. 
 
 ne giveth to the beast his food, and to the young ravens which 
 cry.— PsA. cxlvii. 9. 
 
 "^^i^I-r God will not help me, no one else can," 
 
 \ 
 
 The words were spoken almost despair- 
 ^ ingly by a pale, sad-faced child, about 
 five years of age. A fruitless search for some 
 lost possession had left her overwhelmed with 
 sorrow. She sat alone upon the ground, and 
 gazed on the heavy clouds that crossed the 
 sky in the dim autumn twilight. Having no 
 one below to sympatliize in her distress, she 
 looked for the fust time from earth to heaven, 
 experimentally learning, " Vain is the help of 
 
 man." 
 
 The child had lost a treasure, and children's
 
 8 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 treasures are precious, and children's griefs are 
 sharp. 
 
 The loss comprised a lock of her dead moth- 
 er's hair. She had worn the locket containing 
 it ever since the day she could remember any- 
 thing. Nightly she was expected to place 
 this on her table, that it might be seen that 
 it was safe. She had neglected to do so, and 
 now it was gone, — how or where she knew 
 not — and the child wept. 
 
 It was not for the ornament, nor yet for her 
 disobedience, but for the loss of that brown 
 braid of glossy hair in the tiny casket — the 
 child's wealth. 
 
 She knew that the locket would be missed 
 from her neck, and that she would be pun- 
 ished ; but what punishment could exceed that 
 silent, unshared sorrow ? The joy of her life 
 had departed; and though careless eyes ob- 
 served that she did not eat, none remarked 
 her sad face, or the absence of the chain. 
 
 " I wish it was Sunday," said the child. " I 
 could go to church ; perhaps God would hear 
 me therey
 
 THE raven's cry. 
 
 The child did not know that God's house is 
 not made with liands, and that he is every- 
 where nigh to all that call upon him. This 
 was Friday, and two long days must intervene 
 before she could make her request known to 
 him in church. The longest day however 
 has an end, and Sunday came at length. 
 Kneeling in the extreme corner of the pew, 
 with her face to the wall, observed by none 
 but God, she told over the petition with which 
 her heart was ready to burst, and ended as 
 she began : " If you do not help me, no one 
 else can." So she begged him to send her 
 back her lost locket, for he alone knew where 
 it was. When her prayer was over, a strange 
 peace fell on the heart of the little suppliant. 
 She did not question that her voice had 
 reached the ear of the Most High, who rules 
 the world. 
 
 Yes ! gracious and Almighty God, Father of 
 the fatherless, as one whom his mother com- 
 forteth, so didst thou comfort her. Thou wert 
 worldng for the desolate little one. 
 
 When she returned home, the sun shone
 
 10 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 brightly in lier nursery, and glittered on the 
 golden chain. Hastily she opened her casket 
 and found her treasure safe. But she did not 
 praise him who had heard her cry. Only the 
 soul that knows salvation tlirough the Lamb 
 slain can praise. 
 
 The power of the Lord had wrought on the 
 conscience of the thief to restore the stolen 
 article, and it was not until thirty years after- 
 wards that the culprit was known. 
 
 Dear reader, that child now records the first 
 remembered token of a loving Father's care 
 over a fellow-sinner, who by his grace would 
 commune with thee by the way. In conscious 
 helplessness I cast myself upon Him, who has 
 redeemed me from death and hell, and I would 
 show forth his praise. INIy cry is still, " If 
 thou wilt not help me, no one else can ! " 
 
 I know not how far this early evidence of a 
 loving Father's care influenced my soul. Cer- 
 tain I am, that since I have known him as my 
 Redeemer and Lord, it has often made me 
 ashamed to lack the simple faith of a child. 
 Through long years of sin and ignorance the
 
 THE raven's cry. 11 
 
 remembrance of the recovery of my lost chain 
 has made me realize anew that God, who feed- 
 eth the young ravens when they cry, will much 
 more care for the soul that calleth upon him. 
 
 Since he gave me eyes to see him, daily 
 have I been proving his wondrous power and 
 willingness to help me. And yet, even when 
 he has reminded me, " All power is given unto 
 me in heaven and on earth," I have fallen back 
 upon m}' own miserable plans and natural un- 
 derstanding, as if I had not again and again 
 proved that I had infinite wisdom and power 
 to draw from. 
 
 It is written, " When the Son of man com- 
 eth, shall he find faith on the earth?" He 
 will find works, abounding works, of the nat- 
 m-al heart, in which he has no part as the 
 author, or counselor, or partner; but of the 
 faith that lives in him, watches for him, waits 
 for him, follows him, — how little ! 
 
 And yet Jesus died to bring us near to the 
 Father, that we might walk with him, thus re- 
 storing the heavenly communion which Adam's 
 sin had invested with terror and shame. The
 
 12 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 daily intercourse of confidential affection calls 
 for no preliminary ceremony. Communion 
 does not consist in a mere narration of wants 
 or confession of failure. It is an interchanse 
 of mind, a giving forth and receiving. Neither 
 are there any formal preparations to be gone 
 through, nor set phrases to be uttered, before 
 we acknowledge his abiding presence. " The 
 secret of the Lord" has been well described 
 as " that pecidiar presence of God which is the 
 secret of his people, with the assurance that 
 they are his." Who that has known this 
 " secret " has not thirsted for deeper and fuller 
 revelations of himself? He has been found 
 of them while waiting in the sanctuary and 
 watching by the way. 
 
 It was the living God, of whom I read in 
 the Scriptures, that my soul longed to know. 
 Seeking Jesus, my weary heart turned away 
 from what was offered me instead : and I shall 
 forever praise him for the sorrow, and sickness, 
 and trial, which have beset my path; since 
 thus, and thus only, have I known that all 
 other refuges are vain. Often have I retm^ned
 
 THE raven's CRT. V6 
 
 to my first childisli prayer: "If you do not 
 help me, no one else can ! " I have thus learned 
 to love the cross ere it has been removed, so 
 many Peniels has it marked on my otherwise 
 toilsome way. 
 
 When I am told that the desire of intimacj» 
 with my risen Lord is irreverent and unnat- 
 ural, I test the foolishness of man by the wis- 
 dom of God. " The natural man receiveth 
 not the things of the Spirit of God ; for they 
 are foolishness unto him ; neither can he know 
 them, because they are spiritually discerned." 
 1 Cor. ii. 14. " Henceforth I call you not 
 servants ; for the servant knoweth not what 
 his Lord doeth: but I have called yowfriends.''^ 
 " If a man love mc he will keep my words ; 
 and my Father will love him, and we will 
 come unto him, and make our abode with 
 him." John xv. 15 ; xiv. 23. 
 
 Shall we read these gracious promises as if 
 they were merely forms of speech, and treat 
 the Lord of Life as if he were a wavfaring: 
 man who tarries for a night ? Is he not the 
 light and center of that temple in which he
 
 14 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 has takeu up his abode ? Shall he be sought 
 for in special emergencies when other help 
 fails, while the flesh, in which dwelleth no 
 good thing, regards ordinary times and events 
 as those with which the God who appointed 
 them has nothing to do ? 
 
 Each trial of our faith hath its commission 
 from the Father of spirits : in the end it will 
 speak ; if it tarry, wait for it. The heavenly 
 Master has still his eye upon liis weary follow- 
 ers toiling in rowing, and each wave of cir- 
 cumstance bears him on its crest. Listen ! 
 His voice is in the storm ; and believe that 
 each billow is appointed by the Lord, whom 
 winds and waves obey: " It is I, be not afraid." 
 
 We are not required to live above circum- 
 stances ; they are assigned to us that we may 
 obtain therein a deeper experience of the love 
 and wisdom of Him to whom all power is 
 given in heaven and on earth. 
 
 The encouraging " Fear nots ! " with wliich 
 the Holy Scriptures abound, promise us help 
 and companionship through the rivers, not above 
 them; safety in the fires, not escape/rc; ;J2 them:
 
 THE EAVEN's cry. 16 
 
 that we may behold his way in the sea, and 
 his path in the mighty waters ; that the Fathei 
 may be glorified in the life of Christ mani- 
 fested in us by the Holy Ghost. 
 
 If the eye of faith is withdrawn from Christ 
 crucified, be assured that how much soever of 
 theoretical and doctrinal knowledge we may 
 possess, and however fervent the aspiration 
 and utterance of religious sentiment may be, 
 we shall be barren and unfruitful, and fail of 
 the light of the knowledge of the glory of God 
 in the face of Jesus Christ. 
 
 It is the Spirit's presence in us that tells 
 whence our life springs. Whether in the ware- 
 house or the shop, in the poorest hovel or in 
 the mansion of the rich and noble, the child of 
 God is called to witness for him. The power 
 of testimony that one solitary soul may possess 
 will carry its influence through time and eter- 
 nity. " The Lord hath set apart him that is 
 godly for liimself : the Lord will hear when 
 he calleth unto him." " I have declared, and 
 have saved, and I have showed, when there 
 was no strange god among you : therefore ye
 
 16 THE SECRET 01 THE LOED. 
 
 are my witnesses, saith the Lord, that I am 
 God." Psalm iv. 3 ; Isaiah xliii. 12. 
 
 The coast of Cornwall, particularly in and 
 near Mount's Bay, is visited by the warm 
 Gulf-stream, which is the secret -of its health- 
 ful temperature. There is little alternation 
 in the atmosphere by day or night. There is 
 not much information to be obtained concern- 
 ing this interesting phenomenon, but the in- 
 fluence i^felt and seen, though the Gulf-stream 
 itself is flowing unseen in the ocean, separated 
 in a manner from the deep waters, through 
 which it passes without mingling. The lands 
 it visits are warmed by it ; the air above and 
 in its vicinity, is soft and balmy ; exotics seen 
 nowhere else in England flourish in its neigh- 
 borhood, and many an early blossom is put 
 forth before the winter has elsewhere departed. 
 In the caves of the rochs, and occasionally in 
 some places of the coast, its presence is linown 
 by the rare and beautiful shells, which, carried 
 safely by the current through the ocean, are 
 left as the productions of a distant shore, and 
 tell whence the stream flowed.
 
 THE raven's cry. 17 
 
 As I felt the soft influence of this genial 
 stream in the months of early spring, it never 
 failed to remind me of the hidden life in Christ 
 — the positive blessing floAving from the full- 
 ness of the Spirit in the soul of a child of the 
 light, dwelling in this ungodly world — a con- 
 tinual contrast to that negative Christianity, 
 which lives only on the lips of formal profes- 
 sors, bringing neither warmth nor blessing to 
 themselves, nor light nor gladness to others. 
 
 " The secret of the Lord is with them that 
 fear him, and he will show them his covenant." 
 The worldling has no part nor lot in this prom- 
 ise. It is yours^ child of God, to whom I write, 
 saved and separated from a world lying in 
 wickedness. Can you be content to walk in 
 your l)lindiicss, in paths everywhere beset with 
 danger, without heavenly counsel and com- 
 panionship ? Can you endure the benumbing 
 cares of life without carrying them separately 
 to the mighty counselor, that common things 
 may be cleansed and sanctified to his service ? 
 For if there is any matter of which it can be 
 said, "I cannot ask the blessing of God on
 
 18 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 this," tlien neither ought it to be an occupa- 
 tion in which his follower should be found. 
 
 Search the Scriptures ; they testify of him 
 with whom I pray you to walk a day's jour- 
 ney. Be assured, if your heart burn within 
 you, that the Son of man has made one of our 
 company. May God the Holy Ghost reveal 
 him more and more to his waiting people, and 
 open their understanding, that they may know 
 Jesus : then will they surely seek their breth- 
 ren, and tell what things were done in the 
 way. 
 
 Let the perplexed and dispirited traveler eat 
 of the bread that cometh down from heaven ; 
 the Lord shall be known in the breaking there- 
 of. Strengthened in his strength, he shall 
 realize the promise of the Father, and rejoice 
 in the assurance of him who cannot lie : " Lo, 
 I am with you alway, even unto the end of 
 the world." Matt, xxviii. 20. INIay it be said, 
 "And it came to pass, that while they commun- 
 ed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew 
 near, and went with them." Luke xxiv. 15,
 
 THE B A yen's CRY. • 19 
 
 THE SOUL'S PETITION. 
 •* Ask, and it shall be given you."— Matt. vii. y. 
 
 Oh for a priceless crown of stars 
 
 To cast before the throne, 
 And a seraph's voice of melody 
 
 To tell what grace hath done; 
 To sing thy praise, O Lamb of God, 
 
 Who for tlie sinner died; 
 To tell the love of him once slain — 
 
 Jesus, the Crucified. 
 
 Grant, Lord, unto this longing heart 
 
 Thy bloud hatli washed from sin, 
 To image back thy holiness, 
 
 As tliou dost dwell within. 
 Give me a will subdued and meek, 
 
 Obedient to tliy Word, 
 To prove tlie uiiglit of him who lives — 
 
 Jesus, my risen Lord. 
 
 Give to my liand a heavenly heart, 
 
 To hymn thy matchless worth, 
 To echo o'er the sea of glass, 
 
 While waiting still on earth: 
 Cause it to break tlie sleeper's dreamy 
 
 And downcast spirits cheer; 
 And to tliy watching people tell. 
 
 The Bridegroom draweth near. 
 
 Give, Lord, — I ask it from thy grace,— 
 
 The heart, the harp, the crown; 
 I ask them for thy service here, 
 
 And all shall bo thine own. 
 1 bless tlu'o for thy love's sweet seal. 
 
 And nouglil thy love can sever; 
 Lortl, lead nie on from strength to streng^ 
 
 To follow tliee for ever.
 
 20 THE SECKET OF THE LORD. 
 
 CHAPTER II. 
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 
 
 H we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in tlie Spirit. 
 GAli. V. 25. 
 
 " J||AN two walk together except tliey be 
 "^i agreed?" Can "lovers of their own- 
 ^i selves, covetous, boasters, lovers of pleas- 
 ures more than lovers of God, having a form 
 of godliness, but denying the power thereof," 
 have fellowship with him? 
 
 The old Adam can never be made better ; 
 there is no promise for that^ though its mani- 
 festations may differ. Man may adorn it and 
 cultivate it as he will, but its most admired 
 acts are glittering sins. It is the devil's plan- 
 tation, Mark vii. 21 ; the fairest and the dead- 
 liest fruit that thrives there, the wild and pois- 
 onous grape, is the form of godliness without 
 the power. 
 
 Flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 21 
 
 of God, nor can the natural heart have (;om- 
 munion with the Holy One. The glory of 
 grass may be beautiful to the eye, but it is 
 still grass, and will be burnt up. "All flesh 
 is not the same flesh : but there is one kind of 
 flesh of men, and another flesh of beasts, and 
 another of fishes, and another of birds. ' Many 
 forms appear so gracious in their humanities 
 that we admire them ; while we shun others, 
 repulsed by their coarseness. Some, fair and 
 alluring, appear to soar above the earth, and 
 others less prominent seem harmless and silent. 
 We are prone to forget that the fairest only 
 resemble what is acceptable to God, and that 
 the goodliness thereof is as the flower of the 
 field. All the natural wisdom and sagacity of 
 man have never done anything for the king- 
 dom of grace. 
 
 From careful calculation astronomers have 
 foretold the comet which appears in due season, 
 and by diligent investigation of the heavens, 
 have discovered new planets in our hemis- 
 phere. Columbus, by his observation of the 
 weeds borne on the bosom of the western wave,
 
 22 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 was led to reflect on tlie probable position of 
 the land which he afterwards discovered. But 
 neither the contemplation of the heavenly 
 bodies, nor the discovery of a new world of 
 land and water, can bring the soul into the 
 experience of spiritual life, nor open to it the 
 mysteries of grace in the eternal kingdom. 
 " Let no man deceive himself. If any man 
 among you seemeth to be wise in this world, 
 let him become a fool, that he may be wise." 
 1 Cor. iii. 18. 
 
 The old creation lies beneath the curse, and 
 is condemned already. The new creation bom 
 of the Holy spirit, involves a new life, a new 
 aim, a new object. None but those in whom 
 he dwells can understand that it is by his 
 power alone that they can know God, walk 
 with him here, and live with him eternally. 
 The babe must first know him with whom he 
 would walk ; he requires food that he may 
 grow, and the due exercise of his spiritual fac- 
 ulties is necessary, in order that he may respond 
 to the voice of him who calls him to follow 
 him. Tt.e giver of life is the giver of grace :
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 23 
 
 from him alone is dciivcd the appetite for the 
 hidden manna, and the spiritual thirst which 
 can onY be satisfied by the waters of life ; and 
 this m ast be received before the living waters 
 can flow from the regenerated heart to others. 
 Jolin iv. 14. 
 
 The Lord does not delight in a cistern or in 
 a stagnant pool, but in a channel for life-giving 
 streams. John vii. 38. To follow the Lord 
 then, we need to know him,(Jer. xxiv. 7) to 
 laiow him is to love him. I must have open 
 ears to hear him in his Word, and in the way. 
 Isa. XXX. 21. I must have open eyes to behold 
 him in his providence, and in his dealings 
 with me. Nay, I must perceive him in cir- 
 cumstances and in places where the wise man 
 of the world can see nothing, or at most blind 
 chance. And if I handle holy things, it must 
 not be with the intellectual knowledge of the 
 old nature, but by the power of the Holy Ghost, 
 as he shall show them to me. For the " wis- 
 dom of the world is foolishness with God." 
 
 The soul born of God is complete in Christ, 
 as the oak enfolded in the acorn. All the
 
 24 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 heavenly faculties are jperfect in the germ in 
 the child of God : if they are not exercised, it 
 does not follow that they do not exist. Many 
 quickened souls take Christ as their Redeemer, 
 who, from lack of knowledge of foundation 
 truths, manifest but feeble outward evidences 
 of redemption. 
 
 He who is made unto us, wisdom, righteous- 
 ness, and sanctification, is willing to give us 
 the continual witness of the Spirit as we walk 
 with him. He would have us to know whom 
 we have believed, to be assured that our Rock 
 cannot be moved, that bread will be given us, 
 and that our water will be sure. If we believe 
 him, we draw from him such supplies of grace 
 as develop and strengthen the child of God 
 for heavenly fellowship. The new nature is a 
 garden inclosed, in which the Lord delights to 
 walk and talk. There is the sealed fountain, 
 there bloom the fragrant spices, there ripen the 
 pleasant fruits for him. Gal. v. 22. He says of 
 his garden inclosed, "I, the Lord do keep it; 
 I will water it every moment : lest any hurt it, 
 T will keep it night and day." " Joy and glad-
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 25 
 
 ness shall be found therein ; thanksgiving and 
 the voice of melody." And Avill he ever for- 
 sake it ? Nay, Avhen all seems silent, it is not 
 death. The frost but withers the weeds ; the 
 Husbandman is there, and where he is, there is 
 life. Let us not expect the way to be a sunny 
 sail upon the lake of Galilee. The facidties 
 given must be exercised, the faith granted must 
 be tried — seven times if need be — in the fire. 
 Nor shall we have escape beyond the tempter's 
 wiles, and the secret assaults of sin, until that 
 triumphant hour when this mortal shall put 
 on immortality, and death is swallowed up in 
 victory. When we see the Lord as he is, we 
 shall be satisfied ; for we shall be like him ; 
 "and every man that hath this hope in him, 
 purifieth himself, even as he is pure." 
 
 The thief upon the cross, and the beloved 
 John, were alike complete in Christ. The same 
 simplicity of faith which drew the dying male- 
 factor to trust in the love and power of him in 
 whose kingdom he desired to be remembered, 
 was only a phase of the like faith in the disci- 
 ple "V hom Jesus loved, who leaned with en-
 
 26 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 deared familiarity upon liis divine Master's 
 breast, believing from the love lie bore bim, 
 his right to rest there. 
 
 Communi )n with God is no subject of cold 
 speculation. The Scriptures are replete with 
 it. The vague idea of Jehovah, as the carnal 
 heart understands him, has no place there. 
 He is everywhere, a very present God ; from 
 the glades of Eden, where he talked with 
 Adam in the cool of the day, to that resurrec- 
 tion morning when, in tones of human tender- 
 ness, he called the weeping woman by name — 
 everywhere, and at all times adapting himself 
 to the need of his people. All proclaim him a 
 God near at hand, as well as afar off; cognizant 
 of our secret desires, responding to the faintest 
 cry ; a living God — the God of the living. 
 
 Moses walked with God. " I have known 
 thee by name " is the testimony of intimate 
 fellowship between God and man. For " the 
 Lord spake unto Moses face to face, as a man 
 speaketh unto his friend." While "with his 
 own right hand he gat himself the victory," 
 yet it pleased him to use the instrument he
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 27 
 
 had prepared for his service ; the friend of liis 
 counsels, whom he had ordained the lender 
 and deliverer of his chosen people. 
 
 Noah walked with God. The Most High 
 made known to him his judgments against an 
 ungodly world, and accepted his family for the 
 sake of the righteousness of his faith working 
 obedience. 
 
 Enoch walked with God, and begat sons and 
 daughters ; and before he was translated he had 
 this testimony, tliat he pleased God. The 
 secret revelation of that translation we must 
 suppose was the test of his belief in the Lord's 
 almighty power and truth ; for " without faith 
 it is impossible to please God ; for he that com- 
 eth to God must believe that he is, and that he 
 is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." 
 Heb. xi. 6. 
 
 Abraham walked with God ; in what close 
 and familiar intercourse the Holy Spirit has 
 not left us ignorant. God himself calls him 
 his friend! Doubtless, as he revealed to 
 Moses some glimpse of that Messianic glory 
 which was to come afterwards, the express
 
 28 THE SECRET OF THE LOBD. 
 
 image of his person, so also in the typical 
 sacrifice of Isaac, the paternal heart of Abra- 
 ham was made to enter into that mysterious 
 transaction which gave the Lamb of God to 
 die for the sin of a guilty world. 
 
 " The secret of the Lord is with them that 
 fear him, and he will show them his covenant ;" 
 (see margin — "His covenant to make them 
 know it.") His delights with the sons of men 
 began before he made himself in all things 
 their brother : doth his pleasure in them cease 
 now that, by taking on himself their nature, he 
 has wrought for them that great salvation ? 
 
 The vail of the temple was rent in twain 
 when the Son of God proclaimed the mighty 
 sacrifice " finished." But ere he entered the 
 gates of glory, and sat down on his Father's 
 throne, the Son of man returned to his " breth- 
 ren," to comfort their hearts and strengthen 
 their faith. Still he delio'hts in the lovinsr 
 constraining of his followers, even as when 
 Abraham besought him to tarry in his tent, 
 and his sorrowing disciples entreated him to 
 abide with them.
 
 WALKING WITH C!OD. 29 
 
 He is the evei-piesent Friend. You cauQot 
 see liim with the natural eye, as did the 
 favored baud ou the shore of Tiberias; but 
 y(m can commune with him as trnl}-, and he 
 with you. Like those dear disciples, essen- 
 tially men subject to like passions as we are, 
 you may think him to be far off upon the 
 mountain, and find him when least expected, 
 in the tumult of perplexity and fears ; having 
 f(n-gotten that when your need is the sorest, he 
 ]>roraises special manifestations of his presence 
 and power. 
 
 There are the hidden ones of God, whose life 
 of faith we see not, though we partake of its 
 fruit ; but there are others it would take many 
 a page to record, whose life has been mani- 
 fested before the Church and before the world. 
 
 The fact of two thousand two hundred 
 orphan children having been gathered under 
 holy teaching, fed and clothed, and educated 
 for various calliigs, is a testimony in our own 
 land of what simple faith achieves.* To the 
 unbeliever, the New Orphan Houses on Ashley 
 
 •The total number since 1836 is 2263. See "The Bkistol 
 Orphan Hosies and Theik founder." By Rev. Dr. Web-.
 
 30 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 Down are tangible proof of tlie preTi,liiijg 
 power of prayer. Those who know the Nar- 
 rative of that honored servant of God, Mr. 
 Miiller, of Bristol, and his multifarious labors, 
 cannot but feel that not one link in that vast 
 chain of blessing but must (both in its forma- 
 tion and continuance) have been forged and 
 constructed by the almighty power of God. 
 " Jotham became mighty because he prepared 
 his ways before the Lord his God." 2 Chron. 
 xxvii. 6. These are facts which the natural 
 eye and natural heart may take knowledge of. 
 But the soul, partaking of the like precious 
 faith, reads the mystery of these facts in the 
 same secret with faithful Abraham. George 
 Miiller walks with God. 
 
 Again, not long since, by the Lake of Zurich, 
 lived Dorothea Triidel,* the orphan daughter 
 of a godly mother. The Lord chose richly to 
 manifest what grace wrought in her and by 
 her, through the power of the Holy Ghost. 
 Sorrow and sickness had early put her in a 
 position to sympathize with the sufferings of 
 
 *" The Prayer of Faith."
 
 WALKING WITIJ GOD. 31 
 
 oilicrs. Many were the diseased bodies re- 
 stored to licalth and activity, and the dis- 
 ordered minds healed of their plague, — many 
 were the souls granted to the i)rayer of faith — 
 before Dorothea formed her establishment for 
 healing the sick. Neither the unholy powers 
 of spirituahsm, or animal magnetism, or clair- 
 voyance, can bring souls to Jesus ; nor could 
 they cast around the dwelling of this German 
 maiden the heavenly element in which the 
 divine life throve. Faith and prayer! these 
 were the secrets which the famous physicians, 
 jealous of her success, and the curious investi- 
 gation of the wise men of the world, failed to 
 discover. Dorothea Triidel walked with God. 
 The missionary labors of Pastor Gossner, 
 of Berlin, Francke's Orphanage at Halle, and 
 the lives of many more who have set their hope 
 in God and believed in him, will suggest them- 
 selves to the reader. There have been such in 
 e\eiy age : Gt>d knows them all ; some day we 
 shall know them too. No\v we are responsible 
 for their testimony. Men hear and read of 
 them ; and if they are not called to go forth on
 
 32 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 special missionary enterprises, to build orplian 
 houses, to heal the sick, or to act in some way 
 prominently in sight of the world, they satisfy 
 themselves that they are exempt from the same 
 walk of simple faith. Is it so ? If the saint is 
 indifferent to his high calling, it is that unbelief 
 is the lion in the way, so that he fears to con- 
 fide in Jesus. Mourning for lack of sympathy, 
 and depressed beneath the burden of perplexity 
 and sorrow which no fellow-traveler can com- 
 prehend or .soothe, he does not realize that 
 there is a Companion of the cross, who is with 
 him even to the end, — changeless in affection, 
 unfathomable in wisdom, unlimited in power, 
 perfect in holiness, — Jehovah Jesus ! 
 
 " The secret of the Lord is with them that 
 fear him :" but how few desire to walk in that 
 happy fellowship with God, which the Lord 
 Jesus Christ died to restore to fallen man ! 
 
 If we take Jesus at his word, and believe 
 he is with us " alway," as he said, then tJie 
 humblest incident of our daily life is invested 
 with a speech and language to the hstening 
 soul. This will be when our eyes are up unto
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 33 
 
 the Lord, and we walk in the light ; then it is 
 that the minutest thread of divine purpose 
 unfolds yet more of his love, his wisdom, and 
 his power. Then the soul exults in its help- 
 lessness, because it is the medium of showing 
 forth the faithfulness and might of Jehovah ! 
 
 • 
 
 On one occasion I had apartments with a 
 friend, more expensive than I should have 
 taken alone ; they were very large and pleas- 
 antly situated. 
 
 It was laid on my mind to prepare for the 
 press a maunscript which I had partly written ; 
 but I knew that if I used up the little strength 
 I had, in seeking for lodgings or in packing, it 
 would be impossible to finish my manuscript. 
 It seemed as if the Lord would keep me where 
 I was until it was completed. I told the land- 
 lady that her apartments would now be more 
 than I could afford, and that I proposed to leave 
 her in a few days. On hearing this she begged 
 me to continue there, at my own terms, until 
 she found a tenant. As the proposition came 
 from herself, I saw more dii'ectly the hand of
 
 34 THE SECKET OF THE LOED. 
 
 the Lord in it, and consented to remain. 
 Week after week went by, without any appli- 
 cation for my rooms. One morning the land- 
 lady remarked upon it. I could not refrain 
 from a smile, but I told her that she would not 
 be allowed to lose. I said, " I have a little 
 work to do ; when it is finished, you will let 
 your lodgings." But it was not yet done. 
 
 A few days after this, on my return fi'om 
 the beach, I saw a fly at the door ; a family 
 had called, and were about to take the rooms 
 that afternoon. They had gone to another 
 house a few doors higher, and would decide in 
 a few minutes. My first feeling was one of 
 utter desolation. I had not a person I could 
 ask to help me ; but as this thought swept 
 over my heart, I remembered that I had a 
 Friend in heaven, and I said, " Lord, let the 
 people like the other house best," and sat down. 
 But I had not cast all my care on my heavenly 
 Friend : consequently I put on my cloak and 
 went out, and sought for another abode. One 
 was quite unsuitable, and the next was very 
 gloomy. I returned ; the fly was gone ; the
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 35 
 
 ladies had sent word that they liked the othei 
 house best. My blessed Lord had cared for 
 his child. 
 
 I learned by this, first, that this place vras 
 given to me in order that I might do my work ; 
 and, secondl}^ that I must not loiter. 
 
 One day, while upon the sands, I remarked 
 three children, a girl of nine, a boy of eight, 
 and another of six, busy making sand towers. 
 I spoke to them : they were very shy at first, 
 but were evidently well-trained children, gen- 
 tle and courteous, simple in their manners, and 
 very fair too look upon. 
 
 I watched them until they were weary of 
 their spades, and then I called to them, and 
 told them the history of a child, which soon 
 won their attention. The youngest boy had 
 an evil expression, although so young, and a 
 strange hatred of the very name of Jesus. A 
 friendship sprang up between the two elder and 
 myself. Day after day we met on the strand, 
 and at the first glimpse of me their play was 
 left. As they sat one on each side of me, I 
 spoke to them of Jesus, — of heaven, — and of
 
 i'O THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 God's gracious love in giving Ms own Son to 
 die for sinners. 
 
 Tliey were of a family of some rank, and 
 were living within a few doors of my lodgings. 
 In a short time, with whomsoever they miglit 
 be, at sight of me they bounded to my side. 
 
 When I found a difficulty in procuring 
 suitable lodgings, I thought it was the Lord's 
 will that I should leave the place ; for I felt 
 that, as my work was nearly done, I should 
 soon be called u^^on to give up my apartments. 
 Yet the Lord was blessing me with the dear 
 children, and I did not like to quit the neigh- 
 borhood. 
 
 The following Sunday I was sitting on the 
 beach, when suddenly I saw my two little 
 friends walldng with their mother. They 
 sprang forward to me as usual ; but I told them 
 it was not kind to leave their mother, and bade 
 them return. The lady stood at a distance, 
 and watched us ; and when the children had 
 walked a little with her, they were sent in ; 
 then, to my dismay, with slow steps she 
 approached me, and for a moment stood before
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 37 
 
 me silently. I lifted up my heart for grace to 
 help, for I thoiiglit she had come to complaiu 
 of the cliildren loving Jesus. But no I She 
 said almost timidly, 
 
 " May I sit down with you ?" 
 
 I made room for her by my side. She con- 
 tinued, " I come to thank you for your kind- 
 ness to my children. You have won their 
 
 hearts. As you have spoken to my L , now 
 
 speak to her mother." INIy heart was very 
 full, as we talked together. I told her that 1 
 expected to leave my former lodgings. She 
 asked me if she might send the children to visit 
 me • " And will you let me come too — come 
 hi/ myself 'P^ 
 
 She came ; and I can only hope it was not 
 in vain that we met. 
 
 My work was finished. I rang the bell and 
 told my landladj'- that she would let her 
 rooms, as my work was completed. She 
 looked amazed, and said, 
 
 " If you really think so, I should like to go 
 into the country with my family for a day." 
 
 I told her to do so.
 
 88 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 In tlie afternoon I went out, and on my 
 return I saw a carriage laden with luggage at 
 the door. I felt the time was come — that the 
 rooms were mine no longer. Even so. The 
 servant did not wish to let them, and therefore 
 named half as much again as her mistress had 
 spoken of. It made no difference ; the people 
 engaged them. When the landlady retui-ned, 
 her house was let at a price far beyond her 
 usual terms. The family remained many 
 months during the dull season, when no other 
 houses near had inmates. It was the means of 
 awakening in the landlady's heart a desire of 
 learning something of Him, whom she knew 
 not as the Saviour of all men, specially of those 
 who believe. She came to see me several times, 
 and blessed the remembrance of the wonderful 
 way in which the Lord had kept me in her 
 house. 
 
 I took a lodging, the only one I met with 
 that was within my means ; it was a dull place, 
 looking out on a wall. It had formerly been a 
 large house, and was now divided into two or 
 three smaller tenements.
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 39 
 
 I required a south room if possible, a good 
 bedi'oom, and also rain-water ; for the water 
 in this place was very bad. 1 mentioned those 
 wants to my heavenly Father, leaving other 
 things to him to choose for me. 
 
 I felt very anxious to be where the Lord 
 needed me, and I prayed for these things partly 
 as a sign of his approval. While I was in the 
 di'awing-room speaking of the rent, the land- 
 lady said, " If you will come and see the bed- 
 room, I think you will decide upon it ; it is a 
 large south room, with a wide bay-window." 
 I went in and found, as she said, a dehghtful 
 room ; and as I went down stairs, she added, 
 " We have a deep old-fashioned tank, full of 
 rain-water, so that there is a bath for you every 
 day if you like." 
 
 Then I knew that the Lord, by the woman's 
 words, had said, " This is your place ; rest 
 here." Accordingly I took possession of my 
 tent. 
 
 I went to bed, weary and thankful ; but 
 sleep was out of the question. Every quarter 
 of an hour, through the thin partition, from
 
 40 THE SECRET OF THE LCIRD. 
 
 the other house, a low hollow cough rang in 
 my ears. I arose more weary than when I lay 
 down. The next night it was the same. At 
 a loss what to do, yet feeling sure tliat here I 
 was ordered to come, I was bewildered. At 
 last I cried to the Lord, " Oh, how long am I 
 before I reach out my hand to ' the Rock that 
 is higher than I !' " 
 
 It became clear to me that I must go into 
 the next house, and inquire for the person who 
 coughed. God would teach me the rest. The 
 people were Romanists. They told me that a 
 family of three lodged above, and that one, the 
 eldest girl, was dying of consumption. With 
 some reluctance the man was persuaded to go 
 up and ask them to see me. He returned, and 
 said the sick one was alone ; I might enter. 
 
 I shall not forget the scene. It was a lofty 
 room, in the full blaze of a September after- 
 noon. There were two large windows without 
 blinds or curtains, scarcely an article of fur- 
 niture but of the oldest and meanest descrip- 
 tion ; and, lying on a heap of straw, covered 
 with a coarse coverlid, was one of the most
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 41 
 
 beautiful women I ever saw, although far ad- 
 vanced in consuciption. Her features were of 
 the most faultless model, and a mass of golden 
 hair, bright even though untended and uncared 
 for, fell over her shoulders. Her large blue 
 eyes looked up smilingly in my face without 
 the least restraint or surprise. 
 
 I felt it was food that she needed, and said, 
 " I am living next door. I heard you cough. 
 Will it help you if I send some dinner daily 
 from my table ?" . She did not reply, but smiled 
 like a child listening to a story. I spoke but 
 little more that day. 
 
 In a few days I remarked a visible change in 
 her appearance. Her hair was now smooth on 
 her marble- white forehead, and she had lost the 
 expression of extreme exhaustion: her voice 
 too Avas stronger. I told her that since my first 
 visit I had not heard her cough above once or 
 twice in the nif'ht. She said it was so, and 
 continued, 
 
 " You must have thought me very rude 
 when you first came and offered me dinner 
 every day,* and sent me what I needed ; but I 
 was expecting you."
 
 42 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 "How SO ? I never was in tliis part of the 
 town in my life before." 
 
 She answered, " Up to the day before you 
 came to see me I had a kind fiiend to help 
 me. She has very little means, only what 
 she can give from her own savings. She was 
 obliged to go from tliis place the day before 
 yon arrived. She had nothing to leave with 
 me, no one she could ask to assist me ; but 
 she said God could help me. She passed the 
 night in prayer for a friend to be raised up for 
 me ; and she told me one would be sent, and 
 I believed her ; so I was just watcliing for the 
 friend God was to send, when you came in. 
 When I saw you, though I expected some one, 
 I could not speak." She added, "I was very 
 weak." 
 
 " What food had you taken that day?" 
 
 She smiled as she answered, " Two pota- 
 toes." 
 
 The cough disturbed me no more. It ceased 
 almost entirely at night. I visited her often, 
 and she received me gladly. She was a very 
 remarkable person ; her age twenty-five. Her
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 43 
 
 father, a Protest%iit, was dead. At the father's 
 death, her mother, a Romanist, brought hei 
 children and settled herself close by a convent. 
 No one came near the poor girl. I was able to 
 pray and read to her, and she loved to listen. 
 I believed her converted. I cannot tell. She 
 said she used to pray that I should not leave 
 her while she lived, and her prayer was granted. 
 One day her mother asked the priest to visit 
 her ; then all our interviews were over. Food, 
 now that she needed it not, was sent her from 
 the convent, and her mother would throw 
 away any Uttle delicacy I sent her. She was 
 surrounded with Sisters of Mercy and lady- 
 visitors: but her end was come, and it mat- 
 tered little. She became rapidly worse, when 
 I received a summons to London. The day 
 before I was to leave, I went in to see my poor 
 neighbor. She was dying fast. She said over 
 and over again, " I shall meet you in heaven." 
 The weather was very sultry, but she could 
 not bear the window open by reason of the 
 noise, and the atmosphere of the room was 
 almost stifling. She said.
 
 44 THE SECEET OF THE LOED. 
 
 " They asked me wliy I sigiled just now. 1 
 could see what they could not. The flies are 
 settling on my hands and face, and I smiled to 
 see the angels brush them away. You believe 
 me," she said, addressing me, " so I tell youy 
 
 My work was done ; I did not see her die. 
 She was in convulsions and insensible when I 
 left the next day, and extreme unction was 
 being administered to her. Oh, what had I 
 not learned of God's loving care ! I could only 
 do what he gave me to do, and as long as he 
 gave me to do it. But it was another experience 
 of the necessity of casting our care on him 
 who alone loiows the way. If we are walking 
 uprightly with him, we must not judge of God's 
 guiding by the amount of natural satisfaction 
 we receive in following it. He leads by paths 
 we know not ; and the lack of strength in his 
 followers is generally from undue reasonings 
 and from judging before the time. It amounts 
 to this : " Lord, I will follow thee whitherso- 
 ever thou goest." An unconditional surrender 
 in words ; but when the Lord goes before (is, 
 and we find ourselves in some barren desert.
 
 WALKING WITU GOD. 45 
 
 or some lonely city dwelling — fox jt is in the 
 multitude that the child of God feels most 
 lonely, : — then we say, " We asked the Lord to 
 guide, and we have taken our own way." 
 " Why are )^e fearful? how is it that ye have 
 no faith?'''' still sounds around our way, which 
 we tread like frightened children. 
 
 Those who believe must not make haste. 
 There is a purpose, and a time for every pur- 
 pose. ■ " He that observeth the wind shall not 
 sow, and he that regardcth the clouds shall not 
 reap." If the believer is taken up with the 
 providences of God, and not with God himself, 
 he will always be in uncertainty and^ perplex- 
 ity ; for who can understand his own ways, — 
 much more the ways of him who holds creation 
 in his grasp ? For " it is not in man that walk- 
 eth to direct his steps." 
 
 A service is appointed us, like some point 
 of land we are to reach through long travel : 
 but before we reach that point which looms in 
 the distance, we have hills, and valleys, and 
 dreary paths, to tread. We know not what 
 awaits us at the end ; but we may be i)repa)'ed
 
 46 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 for it in the experiences of the journey, j^dul 
 knew he " must see Rome ;" but his loving 
 friends did not foresee how little the "pros- 
 perous" journey would resemble what they 
 would have desired for him. One of the buds 
 of promise in the crown of his espousals was, 
 that he should suffer many things for the Mas- 
 ter he was prepared to serve. 
 
 To walk with God you must become as a 
 little child. You must be content to be counted 
 a fool for Christ's sake. And truly you will 
 have to walk very much alone. Some may say, 
 " These men are full of new wine ;" or, like the 
 enemies of our heavenly Master, " Thou hast a 
 devil, and art mad ;" but " wisdom is justified 
 of all her children." " It is enough for the dis- 
 ciple that he be as his master, and the servant 
 as his lord. If they have called the master of 
 the house Beelzebub, how much more shall 
 they call them of his household ? Fear them 
 not therefore." Matt. x. 25, 26. 
 
 Are you willing to be despised for Christ's 
 sake ! You may be learned in prophecy, or 
 otherwise instructed in the letter of the Word,
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 47 
 
 and receive honor from man ; but ii' you will 
 live godly in Christ Jesus, you shall &,ufFer per- 
 secution. God himself hath said it. 
 
 If we look around at the busy workers, we 
 should say that Christians were triumphantly 
 carried over the persecution promised. But 
 where are the peace and the power which 
 should flow to Christians from communion 
 with the heavenly Father ? Nay, some are so 
 busy keeping others' vineyards, that their own 
 vineyard they have not kept. 
 
 Fellowship with God must spring from the 
 simple faith of the little child ; and this lan- 
 guishes if, instead of seeking his face, we are 
 so occupied about his business, and engrossed 
 with those around us, that we can only bring 
 to him the wearied energies and the drooping 
 spirit. No loving husband would be satisfied 
 with such a return of affection ; and though 
 others might admire the zeal and activity of 
 the busy wife, he would miss tlie companion 
 of his life. 
 
 There is a certain stereotyped character dis- 
 cernible in the members of a body or &ec*"
 
 48 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 gathered under some favorite minister ; thej' 
 reflect his views and opinions, and also his 
 defects. 
 
 The truths which have been burned into his 
 heart, line upon line, in the furnace fii'es, often 
 find a ready utterance from those who know 
 nothing of them experimentally. Hearers and 
 admirers adopt them, and thence the appear- 
 ance of rapid advance in the divine life, fol- 
 lowed by apparent backsliding. Tliis is often 
 nothing more than a return to their former 
 XDOsition. Truths, rendered attractive by their 
 novelty, have been received externalh-, while 
 their vitality has remained unknown ; like 
 children's gardens filled with gathered blos- 
 soms that have no root, and so wither away. 
 There are no defects in the Great Teacher ; 
 therefore, while the full value of pastors and 
 ministers who are filled with the Holy Spirit 
 is admitted, it must remain true that those who 
 five in the society of the Beloved shall realize 
 most of his beauty, and reflect most of his 
 image. 
 
 Not for this will you be loved of the world.
 
 WALKING WITH GOD. 49 
 
 You will realize what the Lord Jesus promised 
 - — "persecution;" and you will become an 
 enigma to your brethren : " Neither did liis 
 brethren believe in him." 
 
 A poor unlettered man said to me one day, 
 " Every believer needs to be confident that a 
 supernatural power dwells within him ; it is 
 this which makes the difference between him 
 and the world." Truly this is walking as 
 cliildren of the kingdom : this confidence in- 
 vests them with power in their weakness ; for 
 God hath said, "All things are yours." With 
 him we overcome ; in him we have peace. 
 We lack the fidfillment of these blessed pro- 
 mises when we do not walk with God. 
 
 ]Many saved souls know of this doctrine, but 
 fail in the simple faith by which it is enjoyed. 
 The Incarnate Word is that which God has 
 given to nourish us — the daily bread from 
 heaven. 
 
 Why is it that ordinances become wearisome, 
 and work in its routine a burden ? It is that 
 Jesus is not carried into the chanoingf events 
 of e very-day life. But when " Jesus only" is
 
 50 THE SECEET OF TBE LOED. 
 
 dll our salvation, and all our desire, then each 
 hour is a page of deepening interest in the 
 book of life. But if he is sought only at set 
 times, or in ordinances, is it any marvel that 
 the SOU- lacks appetite, and loathes the " light 
 food," and thus becomes discouraged at the 
 feeble realization of heavenly things ? 
 
 Murmur not if friends fail you. The Lord 
 knows you by name. " Can two walk together 
 except they be agreed?" If one knows only 
 the letter, and the other seeks the spirit, pro- 
 bably he who knows only the letter will to the 
 outward appearance outrun him who is led by 
 the Spirit. Nevertheless, the promise is not 
 to him that runneth. Psa. cxlvii. 10 ; Isa. xxx. 
 15, 16. 
 
 If you are seeking help from many counsel- 
 ors, you will fail to learn the immediate min- 
 istration of the mighty Counselor. If you look 
 for sympathy from many comforters, you will 
 miss the comfort of the endearing relationship 
 of the everlasting Father. Isa. Ixvi. 13. The 
 day is at hand when the tears shall be wiped 
 away from all faces. But the recollection of
 
 THE raven's cry. 61 
 
 this burden of gi'icf shared with the, man Christ 
 Jesus : — those hours of darkness during which 
 you waited at his feet for his voice of love ; 
 that hard speech and bitter taunt that sent you 
 to cast your wounded heart before him for his 
 healing touch ; those silent hours when you 
 scu:" it for guidance, and received special coun- 
 sel to guide and help, — waiting times, but not 
 idle hours, for they were spent with him who is 
 our wisdom : — those seasons will be among 
 your heavenly treasures. 
 
 Such remembrances even in this life shed a 
 glory over the roughest billow ; and hereafter, 
 if not now, we shall see that we have walked 
 the waters with him, and our loss shall be all 
 gain in our fellowship with Jesus. 
 
 Thy hand controls the howling storm, 
 
 Thy foot is on the sea ; 
 How can I tread the waters, Lonl« 
 
 Unless 1 walk with thee.
 
 52 THE SECEET OF THE LOED. 
 
 CHAPTER 111. 
 
 LEAITIKG ON JESUS. 
 
 re are my friends, if ye do wliatsoever I command thee. 
 John xv. 14. 
 
 n jt;HE disciple whom Jesus loved leaned up- 
 
 f" '.' on his bosom. Dear reader, where are 
 j^ you ? It is John to whom Peter addresses 
 his question ; it is to the loving one reposing 
 in confidence on his breast that Jesus answers. 
 It is Mary listening at his feet that the An 
 ointed One of God commends ; it is from her 
 hand that he accepts the significant offering 
 which remains an everlasting memorial of her. 
 Did he love these disciples more than the oth- 
 ers ? Nay ; but they apprehended his love to 
 them, and believed him when he said, " He that 
 loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I 
 will love him, and will manifest myself to 
 him." " If a man love me, he ■s\'ill keep ray 
 words : and my Father avlU love him, and we
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. o3 
 
 will come unto liiin, and make our abode with 
 him." Whatever place in the vineyard the 
 Lord has appointed for his disciple, there is no 
 position in which he ought not to be, and may 
 net be, found leaning on Jesus, and listening 
 to his words. 
 
 The Holy Ghost abides not in temples made 
 with hands, neither can he delight in a divided 
 heart. The merchandize that crowds the tem- 
 ple of your God must be cast out ere room can 
 be made for him. Let not the lowing of oxen 
 di"0wn the voice of the Beloved. Plead not 
 that oxen are needful, that sheep and pigeons 
 are gentle, harmless objects, and that, money- 
 changing is lawful, and then complain that 
 you cannot see him whom you say your soul 
 loveth. 
 
 If you are in earnest in seeking fellowship 
 with the Lord Jesus, go to him — ask him to 
 drive out the enemy before you. One sight of 
 his beauty, and all Hghter likings will take 
 their appointed place, or disperse as snow- 
 wreaths before the ^un. Thus the soul, emp- 
 tied of all meaner joys, will understand that it
 
 64 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 has been redeemed with the precious Hood ol 
 Christ, as of a Lamb without blemish and 
 without spot, that so he may dwell in you and 
 walk in you, that you may be his people, and 
 that he may be your God. 
 
 When one bereaved of her husband wept by 
 the coffin of her only child, she exclaimed, " I 
 see God will have my whole heart, and he shall 
 have it." Not all that the Spirit was pleading 
 within her soul was heard on earth ; but the 
 offering was accepted by him who inspired it : 
 her eyes were opened, and she knew his voice, 
 and henceforth followed him. 
 
 It is the heart for. which the Lord is often 
 contending in his dealings with his people, the 
 whole heart ; for it is in proportion as the old 
 nature, with its affections and lusts, is crucified, 
 that the indwelling of the Holy Ghost is man- 
 ifested. How soon a desire unduly indulged, 
 or an unholy thought unrestrained, will cast 
 its shadow on the spirit ; or idle words or 
 foolish jesting break the sweet peace that 
 reigned before ! How rapidly and uncon- 
 sciously some cherished affection may begat
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 55 
 
 an idol/ wliicli the hand of love must break in 
 pieces. 
 
 For our poor hearts fail to know, 
 Wlieie our gourds are gi-owing, 
 
 Till the east wind lays them low, 
 And our tears are flowing. 
 
 A godly pastor, who had been much blessed 
 in his ministry, lost the comfort and witness of 
 the Holy Spirit. He became consciously strait- 
 ened in his preaching, and weary of his work. 
 He sought an aged member of his flock, and 
 inquired of her if she still received benefit 
 from his ministry. 
 
 " I no longer gain anything from your teach- 
 ings," replied his honest heart. 
 
 " The fault may be in yourself," suggested 
 the pastor ; " perhaps j^ou have ceased to pray 
 for me." 
 
 " Not so," said she ; " I pray, but the heavens 
 are brass." 
 
 " Nevertheless, pray on," said the sad-hearted 
 man, " and I will see you again." 
 
 Accordingly, after a week had gone by, he 
 inquired anxiously, "What have you to tell 
 me ? was the power of the Spirit felt yesterday 
 in my discoui-se ?"
 
 66 THE SECEET OF THE LOED. 
 
 " Nay," replied the faitMul woman, " it 
 lacked unction. Your words were nothing to 
 me." 
 
 " Have you prayed for me ?" he continued ; 
 for he felt, in the desolation and coldness of 
 his iieart, how much he needed it. 
 
 " I said before," she answered, " that the 
 heavens were brass, when I prayed for you ; 
 but this week the Lord says, ' Let him alone ! 
 he is joined to his idols, let him alone !' " 
 
 There was silence. Faithful are the wounds 
 of a friend. G-od had spoken. 
 
 The pastor put his hand into his breast, 
 and drew forth a miniature suspended there ; 
 throwing it on the stone floor, he stamped his 
 heel heavily on it, and the ivory picture lay 
 scattered in fragments at his feet. It was the 
 portrait of his fair youDg daughter, who had 
 been removed by death a few-months before. 
 Immoderate grief for her loss had hidden from 
 him the face of the Master, who thus was 
 pleading with him for his whole heart, waiting 
 to restore to him the joy of his salvation ; for 
 what have we to do any more witli idols ?
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 57 
 
 From the slavery of sin, from the hard 
 bondage of our own will, the Lord Jei>us died 
 to deliver us. And yet that unbroken com- 
 munion out of which true service can alone 
 flow seems to be desired and sought foi too 
 often in service, rather than recognized as the 
 source from whence it springs. 
 
 The works of nature are types of those of 
 grace : day and night, summer and winter, 
 seed-time and harvest, shadow forth the soul's 
 progress. 
 
 Even were we living above our besetting sin 
 of unbelief, yet the fellowship of the Lord Jesus 
 nowhere promises exemption from tribulation ; 
 for the trial of our faith is much more precious 
 than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried 
 by fire. Fiery trials are no sti-ange things to 
 the Lord's followers. The rejoicing in them 
 is not of the old nature, but is born of the 
 Holy Spirit; and that joy looks beyond the 
 fellowship of suffering, " that when his glory 
 . shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with ex- 
 ceeding joy." 
 
 Many timid followers of the L(ird, with
 
 58 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 broken health and shattered nerves, add to 
 their own sorrows the often-recurring thought 
 that they have grievously departed from God. 
 They have lost some of the comforts which 
 they enjoyed in other days, and thus they 
 think it was better with them then than now. 
 The overtaxed brain, the jaded mind, and 
 weary body, cannot respond to the joy that 
 once thrilled their souls at thoughts of the 
 Lord's gracious dealings with them. 
 
 Distrust not his love, thou tried and tempted 
 one. Jesus is the same. Thy heart is resting 
 on him, or it would not grieve over its own 
 unworthiness, and that it can no longer offer 
 the glad sacrifice of praise. Christ is all, all 
 that you cannot be, and he is thy praise. 
 Fear not! His thoughts are "thoughts of 
 peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected 
 end." Another thorn in the chaplet will make 
 heaven the sweeter : soon shall the thorns be 
 exchanged for a crown of glory. Another nail 
 in the flesh will make the cross lighter, and 
 Ihe sight of him thou lovest shall make amends 
 for all.
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 59 
 
 The shadow that sin casts becomes more and 
 more oppressive. And even when repented 
 of, the face of the Lord ma}'- not be seen, and 
 a sense of spiritual desertion may be permitted, 
 as well as any other chastening, that the so id 
 may take heed to her ways. Tlie closer the 
 communion that may have subsisted, the keen- 
 er will be the suffering of any departure. " I 
 opened to my Beloved ; but my Beloved had 
 withdrawn himself, and was gone : my soul 
 failed when he spake ; I sought him, but I 
 could not find him ; I called him, but he gave 
 me no answer." Song of Solomon v. 6. 
 
 To retain unbroken communion we need 
 the constant remembrance of the blood which 
 cleanseth ; otherwise, Avhen the spiritual sight 
 becomes clearer, the heart will be dismayed at 
 the often-recurring view of the cage of unclean 
 birds witliin us. When the river lies calm in 
 the summer sunlight, it reflects, as in a mirror, 
 the banks that overhang it, and the blue sky 
 above ; but cast a pebble into the water and 
 disturb its repose, let a whirlwind sweep over 
 it, or a boat cross its surface, then the serene
 
 60 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 reflection of tlie heavens is broken into fitful 
 gleams, or altogether obscured. The sky is 
 really as fair as ever, but peace must reign 
 upon the troubled waters before that sky can 
 be reflected in them. 
 
 We know how light a cloud will mar our 
 peace. Then how can it be beneath the maj- 
 esty of the Most High to take cognizance of 
 the minutest temj)oral affair of his beloved 
 ones ? There is none too small for the Infinite 
 to guide and rule, and it is, in fact, broad infi- 
 delity to doubt it. 
 
 I had lately arrived at , and was accom- 
 panying a lady for a drive. I was struck with 
 the beauty of the downs, and remarked that 
 the church was being rebuilt, and that there 
 was no place of meeting for the people with- 
 out a long walk. I said, " Oh, how I wish my 
 lot had been cast here ! How I should have 
 loved to visit the cottages." However, I was 
 far from them. 
 
 I was very comfortable in my cottage lodg- 
 ing, until a man who had a room in it began 
 to smoke. This affected my heart, and brought
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 61 
 
 on fainting. I sent to ask him to desist, but 
 he rudely refused. I did not like leaving my 
 pleasant summer cot, where I had expected to 
 remain many months. I prayed to Le directed ; 
 for I sti'ove to endure the sickness, and thought 
 I should perhaps become accustomed to the 
 annoj'^ance. At last, I asked the Lord to lead 
 the man to give up smoking, or to keep me 
 from suffering. If not ; then, as I was fast 
 losing all power of moving, to let me see 
 whether it Avas his will that I should depart. 
 
 The following day the smoke was worse, 
 and I fainted. For some days I could not 
 walk. I had no friend in the place that I 
 could ask to seek for a lodging, and one I 
 must have at once. So I se.it for my old chair- 
 man to inquire, and went out, praying the 
 Lord to put into the mind of the chairman the 
 house he wished me to occupy. The man said, 
 Yes, he knew some lodgings, " very beautiful 
 ones," in the center of the town. 1 told him 
 the town would not suit me. So ho went on 
 veiy sulky for a time, and I very dark and 
 unhappy. At last I said to myself, " What a
 
 62 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 hypocrite I am ! I ask the Lord whire he 
 wants me, and pray him to put it into the 
 mind of the man, and when told, I say, 'It 
 does not suit me ! ' " 
 
 When my mind had reached this conclusion, 
 and before I could speak, the chairman stopped 
 and said, " I wish, ma'am, you would let me 
 take you to see the lodgings." I now answered 
 him, " Certainly." He quickened his pace ; 
 and when he stopped I found mj^self in a 
 gloomy street, before a fine old house that in 
 former days had stood alone. A suite of many 
 spacious rooms were offered me at a proportion- 
 ately high rent. 
 
 I told the person they were not suitable 
 either in situation or price. 
 
 She said, " Would j^ou object to a house in 
 the country, about a mile on the other side of 
 the town ?" I answered, it was exactly what 
 I shoidd like. 
 
 The girl said, " That is very singular. We 
 have a cousin just come in, who asked us to 
 speak of her to a lady. She has a large pleas- 
 ant cottage, and a good servant ; do see her."
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 63 
 
 I saw licr. She begged me to go and look 
 at the apartments. Tlie chairman was ready 
 to take me anywhere. The evening was beau- 
 tiful, and I arrived at the cottage long before 
 the mistress. I found a large delightful upper 
 room, with bay window, and a charming bed- 
 room, in great order and cleanliness. I engaged 
 them of the servant, and returned home glori- 
 fying God! The following morning I took 
 possession of my new tent, and again my 
 health was restored in a few days to its former 
 state. 
 
 The glory of the harvest set in ; it was a 
 month of golden beauty. One morning at ten 
 o'clock I set off, with my books and tracts, into 
 the harvest fields. I threaded a long shady 
 lane, turning into the fields where I saw the 
 laborers, and about noon found myself at a 
 bend of the road, in a plain — this same plain 
 where I had longed to work among the cot- 
 tages ! I sat down and almost wept with 
 joy. Did I not go on ? No : I had my service 
 close at hand. It was enough for to-day to 
 \praise.
 
 64 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 Nearly every morning I set forth. Every 
 where doors opened, and glad welcomes greeted 
 me. 
 
 One morning the strongest inclination seized 
 me to go to the town for some i^iu-chases that 
 seemed iijdispensable, though I had praj^ed 
 much to be helped on the plain. I am assured 
 it was a device of Satan ; for it was only in the 
 clear blaze of this hot sun that I had strength 
 to walk or speak. I waited when I began to 
 suspect the enemy, and felt it was better to be 
 still and do nothing, than do wrong. 
 
 At last it came clearly that m}'" way was to 
 the harvest field. The conflict had made me 
 later in leaving, so that it was nearly noon 
 before I had gone through the field and entered 
 the plain. I was growing very weary, and 
 looked out for a cottage where I could perhaps 
 procure some milk. I was at a loss whither to 
 bend my steps, when I saw, on a bank near, 
 a girl knitting. On inquiry, she told me that 
 a little further on there were two paths, and 
 if I took the one to the left, it would lead me 
 to a dairyman's. I was hoping the girl would
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 66 
 
 accompany me, for the direction was vague. 
 I was weary, and the heat was excessive ; but 
 she was sullen, and would scarcely give me an 
 answer, and refused any further information. 
 
 There were many roads, and I could not see 
 any house near ; but on crossing the field, two 
 paths diverged, and in the shelter of an or- 
 chard I saw the chimneys of two cottages. I 
 hastened down a path before I remembered 
 that I had not asked the Lord to direct me, 
 but immediately retraced my steps, and asked 
 his Spirit's guidance, and found myself in the 
 same direction. 
 
 I am minute in these particulars, because I 
 learned a lesson practically^ that in no other 
 way, I think, is taught so as to be useful. 
 
 At the end of this path was a wicket gate. 
 I was crossing an old-fashioned garden, when 
 I met a young woman. I told her I wanted 
 to find the cow-keeper's, that I might procure 
 some milk, and I beKeved that was the cot- 
 tage. 
 
 God only knows what a trial of faith it was 
 when she told me the other was the cow-
 
 66 TilE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 keeper's. The trial was, not my exhaustion, 
 but in suspecting that I had after all walked 
 according to nature, and not by the Spirit. 
 She saw that my countenance fell, and pointed 
 out the road very kindly. I had a little book, 
 and I felt I must give it to her, though I had 
 kej)t it for whoever gave me the milk, as I had 
 no money with me. I turned, with sorrow in 
 my heart, to retrace my steps once more, when 
 the girl hastily followed me, saying, if I would 
 go through their homestead I could reach the 
 cow-keeper's in half the time. Again I turned 
 back, and went through a court that opened 
 into the dairy. I made known my request, 
 and was rudely refused ; and wondering in my 
 heart what it all meant, I left the cow-keeper's, 
 purposing to rest on the wayside until I could 
 get back to my lodgings. O faithess heart! 
 the Lord was working^ and I could not trust 
 him. 
 
 The young woman was leaning on the wicket 
 gate, evidently watching for me, and accosted 
 me as I bent my head in passing. 
 
 She said, with some hesitation, " My mother,
 
 LEANESTG OISI JESUS. 67 
 
 jia'am, has been watching you from the u'in- 
 dow. She said to me, ' Mary, that lady looks 
 very ill and tired. Go out and ask her if she 
 will rest, and let us offer her M-hat refreshment 
 we have.' " 
 
 My heart was full. I Icnew the Lord had 
 gone before me. I entered that clean, cool 
 cottage, with feelings which those only can 
 understand who take rest, and food, and wel- 
 come, from the Lord God. 
 
 It was the brightest cottage I ever entered. 
 The brass and copper that hung over the large 
 open fireplace, the white walls, the bright case- 
 ment overhung with honej'suckles, the snowy 
 curtain, the polished chairs, and the sheltering 
 trees over the roof, made it a sweet rest to 
 the weary pilgrim in the heat of a September 
 noon. 
 
 A pale-faced woman, old-fashioned in appear- 
 ance and gentle in her manners, had already 
 spread a clean cloth on a table, and was pre- 
 paring a meal. Home-made bread and cheese 
 were placed before me, and as I sat down, 
 mother and daughter stood by. The blessing
 
 t)8 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 was a very long one for a " grace before meat," 
 but my hosts stood in silent reverence while I 
 asked a blessing on their home. The face of 
 the mother was bathed in tears ; the daughter 
 never took her eyes from my face. Oh, my 
 sweet, sweet Lord ! what a welcome he gave 
 me there ! So I ate of their food, and rested 
 quietly ; for with genuine hospitality to a 
 weary traveler they left me alone. 
 
 After a time the daughter returned and 
 removed the table ; and, strengthened and re- 
 freshed, I spoke of my beloved Master. The 
 mother wept silently. Then addressing the 
 daughter, I pleaded with her for Jesus. She 
 listened attentively, and asked me a question 
 or two that showed an unquiet mind. The 
 afternoon had gone before I could leave them. 
 Then the woman rose, sa3dng, 
 
 " God has sent you. Oh, how my husband 
 would love to speak to you ! He is one who 
 loves your Lord." 
 
 " And you ? " I inquired. 
 
 " Yes," she said sadly ; " but I have lived a 
 •ong way from him, though knowing him.
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 69 
 
 But you have done me good. Will you come 
 some day when my husband is at home ?" 
 
 I found that he was only at home in the 
 evening, so I felt it was not possible, as I could 
 not walk in the evening : but I promised to go 
 again if the Lord would send me. 
 
 Accordingly, in the middle of the following 
 week, I went. The mother was alone. She 
 greeted me with such joy, that at first she 
 could hardly speak. She said the words I had 
 been led to speak to her daughter had been 
 greatly blessed, and her own soul had been re- 
 vived. Her husband longed to see me ; but it 
 was in the busy harvest season, so we saw no 
 prospect of that. I called several times, and 
 as I went to and fro my heart sang songs of 
 joy. Jesus walked with me. 
 
 One day I was detained on the road so late 
 that it was afternoon before I reached the cot- 
 tage. I knocked at the open door, and then 
 entered. There I saw a harvest laborer. 
 
 " This is our lady, John," was my introduc- 
 tion ; and there was no necessity to ask who 
 he waa, for they had told me that he loved my
 
 70 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 Lord. And if God ever sealed the face of one 
 of his own in this mortal flesh, the seal was 
 on the face of this son of toil. 
 
 The heat of the day had been intense, and 
 he had returned home to take his meal, and 
 rest till eve. Truly he was taught of God. I 
 had blessed communion with him. Jesus was 
 indeed there, and I traced his love in giving 
 me full measure, pressed down and running 
 over, from the fountain of his fullness that 
 day. 
 
 As I rose to leave, after praying together, 
 he sat a few minutes silently ; then rising, he 
 came towards me, and taldng my hand in both 
 of his own, he bowed over it Uke any old 
 courtier, and the blessing he breathed fell on 
 my soul hke dew from heaven. The tears 
 were in his eyes. I have seldom seen such an 
 expression — never above once or twice in my 
 Hfe. 
 
 " If we never meet again, madam, on this 
 earth, I look for you before the Lamb slain, in 
 heaven's glory." So we parted, all hoping to 
 have another meeting here. B -"t when I re-
 
 LEANTNG ON JESUS. 71 
 
 turnoci to my lodgings a letter awaite.d me, 
 which took me away at once. I never saw 
 them again. 
 
 In several of the other cottages I had deeply 
 interesting interviews, and in more than one I 
 found some of the Lord's precious jewels. 
 The wife of one of the laborers said that aJ 
 through the winter her husband rose at four 
 o'clock for an hour's prayer and reading the 
 Bible, before he went out to his day's work. 
 She herself went out washing. She slept 
 heavily, and could not wake sometimes, so 
 weary was she with her day's work. Her hus- 
 band would rise so quietly as not to disturb 
 her, and when she opened her eyes, there he 
 was, with the little candle no larger than a 
 rushlight, seeking in his Bible for his daily 
 food. He labored in the field from five to 
 five, and their garden was tended by him, and 
 was fruitful and in good order. 
 
 I felt drawn to enter a hut, at the end of a 
 long narrow slip of garden. I laiocked in 
 vain, and at last gently lifted the latch and 
 went in. There sat an aged woman, bent
 
 72 THE SECRET OF THE LOUD. 
 
 over a fire of withered branches and dead fern, 
 whicli burned brightly on the open hearth. 
 The room was narrow like the garden, a case- 
 ment under a deep eave, and the fire at the 
 extremity of the chamber. The poor old wo- 
 man looked forlorn. At first she was very 
 hard and sharp in her answers ; but I have 
 often to remember that broken glass will cut 
 the finger with the least touch, and broken 
 hearts without the sanctifying grace of God 
 will do the same. 
 
 I asked her to let me rest ; she consented. 
 She was in trouble for a sailor son, of whom 
 she had not heard for very long. " He was 
 such a good son — she had only him." Then 
 she took down the httle pictures on the wall, 
 views of Constantinople and the coasts of the 
 Mediterranean, saying, he always used to send 
 her these little tokens at every fresh voyage ; 
 now she never heard fi-om him. 
 
 I spoke to her of him who holds the waters 
 in the hollow of his hand, and told her in 
 whom my soul was rejoicing ; and then I 
 pointed her to Him whose aye was on her son
 
 LEANING ON JESUS. 73 
 
 in a distant land, and on her weeping by lier lit- 
 tle fire. I knelt by her, and prayed for the ab- 
 sent son. The poor woman looked on amazed, 
 but listened. My prayer over, I was leaving. 
 She looked at me and merely asked, " WJio are 
 ye f as if frightened. I never saw her again. 
 I can only believe my Lord sent me, and that 
 he heard me. 
 
 I bless God that he gave me special grace 
 at this season to follow him. I was content to 
 sit in the sunshine, when he showed me that 
 I should be silent, though that was often the 
 hardest work. The Lord of the harvest will 
 watch over the seed ; and certain it is he ac- 
 cepts the willing mind in obedient service. 
 Not one grain of the harvest will be lost, and 
 not one effort to please him will pass unnoticed. 
 For he is the center from wliich love and 
 service spring. Just in proportion as the soul 
 is in fellowship with the Lord Jesus, in com- 
 munion with his will, shall we trace his lead- 
 ings, hear his voice, and " understand in part" 
 what we shall soon read in the light of his 
 unveiled face. Were it not for my many and
 
 74 
 
 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 repeated fiiilures in obedience, my faithless- 
 ness, and my sinful pelding to my self-will, 
 glorious things would be spoken of my Lord 
 ani my God.
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 75 
 
 CHAPTER IV. 
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 
 
 Let us hold fast the profession of oiiv faith \\ithout wavering ; 
 for lie is faithful that promiserl. — Ui:b. x. 23. 
 
 jHtANY are in bondage in regard to fellow- 
 Jjlll sltip. Natural joy has been mistaken for 
 \^^ communion, when the feet were not 
 walking in the path of the Lord ; while in 
 another case, the joy in the Lord may still be 
 there, even when the lips can only moan their 
 sorrow. Did not Jesus say, '' My soul is ex- 
 ceeding sorrowful, even unto death" — "If it 
 be possible, let this cup pass from me" ? And 
 shall we not have fellowship with the Man of 
 Sorrows ? lias he not cried, " Why hast thou 
 forsaken me ? And will he not be very near 
 to us, if the same cry has gone up from the 
 torn and tempted heart of one whom he loves ? 
 The bulwark of the believer's hope is the 
 faithf Illness oi Him who has called him. When,
 
 76 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 through our unbelief, we miss the sight of the 
 King in his beauty, let us not follow the watch- 
 men with our clamorous grief ; let us not cry- 
 to the daughters of Jerusalem to tell him our 
 deBolation ; let us go direct to himself, that he 
 may teach us to profit, and lead us in the way 
 that we should go. If the consciousness of 
 the love he bears us is blotted by our unfaith- 
 fulness, let us to the stronghold of his cove- 
 nant. He is not changed ; He loves us with 
 an everlasting love. 
 
 Up, mourning soul ! though shadows round thee hover ; 
 
 Up to the stronghold ! Clirist's own might is thine. 
 Doth danger threaten ? Lo ! his wings shall cover, 
 
 And thou shalt say, " Behold, his strength is mine!" 
 In the sweet radiance of his presence sun thee, 
 
 When faithless hearts and harsh words wound thee sore; 
 Lean on that loving hreast whose blood hath won thee 
 
 The right to rest there now — and evermore. 
 
 Again : the heart may be so absorbed with 
 its own natural depravity as to lose sight of 
 the fact, that it was for sinners by nature the 
 Lamb of God gave up his sinless life. He died 
 that in him we should be more than conquer- 
 ors. He lives to cleanse and heal. " Though 
 ye have lain among the pots, yet shall ye be as
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 77 
 
 the wings of a dove covered with s'Jver, and 
 her feathers with yellow gold," 
 
 Your outgoings and incomings, your trials 
 and temptations, your sorrows and struggles, 
 your hopes and fears, each secret service, and 
 the sacrifice none else takes knowledge of, are 
 more important in his eyes than in your own. 
 No care that causes you one throb of pain is 
 insignificant to him, nor one joy puerile that 
 you would share with him. If we forget this, 
 the loss is ours. He remains the same. And 
 that we do forget it — forget Him in mere ex- 
 ternal labor, or lose sight of Him in careless 
 slumber and disobedience — my often sorrow- 
 ing heart knows too well. 
 
 Yet it is to his perfection we must look for 
 peace, and not to oiu- uncomeliness. We can- 
 not make ourselves fair. He has made us 
 fellow-heu's with himself in the kinofdom of 
 the Father, and he has called us " all fail" in 
 his sight. We are accepted in the Beloved. 
 " He loves me !" To realize this is life, and 
 power, and rest. Love to Him who first loved 
 us is the secret of the holy life.
 
 78 ^ THE SECEET OF THE LOKD. 
 
 But those who walk with Jesus know it is 
 not always thus. There are lonely hours when 
 he is not seen of the mourning soul. One who 
 has never known the blessings of sight cannot 
 comprehend the desolation of sudden blind- 
 ness. " Truly the light is sweet, and a pleas- 
 ant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun." 
 Yet even the shadows are caused by the sun, 
 and are an evidence of his presence. Gieat is 
 the loss of the sweet face of nature, or of the 
 countenance of the best loved on earth ; but 
 what comparison does this bear to the darkness 
 that hides the face of the Beloved ? There is 
 no comparison to it but a realization of hell, 
 from which we are delivered by the Blessed. 
 One whom this shadow shrouds. Bewildered 
 by our loss, and the memory of the willful way, 
 the disobedient or careless walk, we forget 
 that sin has done the work that sin must ever 
 do, and blotted out the consciousness of the 
 eternal love of God, but not that love itself. 
 
 Satan will suggest that we have now for- 
 feited the favor of Him whom we have called 
 ^ Abba ;" that never more will he condescend
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 79 
 
 to use so vile an instrument for testimony or 
 service. Blessed be God ! our great High 
 Priest ever liveth to make intercession for us. 
 Hush! He will not cast you off. KeepsQence 
 before him, and hear what the Lord saith: 
 " Behold my hands and my feet !'* 
 
 But there is another sense in which we feel 
 deserted. A change of experience in the soul, 
 ^vrought by the power of the Spirit, and not 
 by the will of man, should be carefully exam- 
 ined in his light. The watchfulness which it 
 demands may cause the exercised soul to con- 
 sider her ways, and perhaps Avarn her from the 
 net of the fowler, or deliver her from the snare. 
 Mental afflictions are not sins, neither are 
 temptations. Of the one he can heal us, and 
 from the other deliver us. Desolation of spirit 
 does not always spring from grieving the Holy 
 Ghost ; nor do I hold it as a mark of displeas- 
 ure from the Lord, more than any other chas- 
 tening, sickness, bereavement, etc., though it 
 is the most severe to bear ; but it is discipline 
 always, and calls for self-searching and self- 
 judgment. Those who live far off from God
 
 80 THE SECKET OF THE LORD. 
 
 know nothing of such darkness, and those who 
 enjoy most continually his presence feel the 
 withdi-awal of it most acutely. 
 
 Nor do I think that all are called to the 
 same participation in the sufferings of Chiist. 
 '■' Wherefore, let them that suffer according to 
 the will of God commit the keeping of tlieir 
 souls to him in well-doing, as unto a faithful 
 Creator." 1 Peter iv. 19. To feel the heart's 
 warmest emotions called forth in fervid utter- 
 ance is a swift return for seeldng tlie merc}-- 
 seat ; hut if we sought his face only for the 
 joy it gives us, it might lead us at last to fol- 
 low him, like the multitude, for the loaves and 
 fishes. Prayer is still prayer ; and though it 
 is barren and cold in comparison to our desire, 
 it is as real, and reaches heaven as sui'ely, as if 
 it were rich in fervor and eloquence. 
 
 I believe also that there is a certain desola- 
 tion of soul, which is the answer to prayer for 
 humihty and deeper conformity to the Lord, 
 with whom we desu-e to walk more closelj'-. 
 It is sent to arouse us to increased watchful- 
 ness, and to awaken us to cry for fi-esh supplies
 
 FELLOWSBXP. 81 
 
 of grace. It is experimental instruction in the 
 ways of God, and intended to bring us into 
 fuller sympathy with Christ's suffering mem- 
 bers among whom he may design us to minis- 
 ter. 
 
 It will be understood that I am not dealing 
 here with depression resulting from sin indidg- 
 ed or sin unrepented of; nor of failure through 
 ignorance or temptation ; but that spiritual 
 drought and sorrowful depression which some 
 of his faithful followers are called to suffer by 
 the will of God. 
 
 It may be that it is permitted in order to 
 give us an errand to the throne ; and, to the 
 soul that lives in communion, that errand must 
 be to bring a. blessing. I cannot remember 
 many occasions, since I have been led to seek 
 for treasures in darkness, in which I have not 
 found some precious view of Christ's suffi- 
 ciency for which I had to praise him. One I 
 record. 
 
 A day of special nearness and enjoyment in 
 the Lord was followed by much such a trial as 
 I have touched on. A cloud overshadowed
 
 82 THE SECBET OF THE LOED. 
 
 my spirit. My heart, that so late had been 
 absorbed in thoughts of Him I loved, and of 
 service I desired for his sake, was now cold 
 and dead. And yet I cannot say that I felt 
 myself deserted ; but as one left suddenly in 
 darkness in a room before filled witli golden 
 sunlight. The room is the same, the furniture 
 is not displaced ; but though the windows may 
 be open, the shutters are closed, and the lovely 
 prospect in which we delighted is liidden. 
 The Bible is still the Word of God; but it 
 seems to have become a sealed book. Tlie 
 promises are ours ; but we cannot enjoy them. 
 The eternal glory is ours ; but we can no 
 longer rejoice in the thought of our portion. 
 Christ is faithful still ; but we cannot realize 
 him. We may grasp his robe, and he loiows 
 who has touched him, and how it is Avith them ; 
 but we feel not the garment we grasp. 
 
 This day I often inquired, " Why is it thus 
 with me ? " I sat before the Lord that he 
 might show me. The darkest hour of midnight 
 heralded the dawn of his appearing " in anotlier 
 form."
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 83 
 
 It was impressed upon my mind in these sad 
 houi's, that by watching I should again see 
 Jesus. So in my trouble I watched for the 
 star that should rise upon my darloiess, and 
 point me to the object of my search. 
 
 From early dawn until evening I looked for 
 my Lord to come and gladden my solitary soul. 
 The sun went down, but the Sun of Righteous- 
 ness had not arisen for me with healing in his 
 wings. For " it was now dark, and Jesus had 
 not come" unto me. 
 
 The cottage in which I then sojourned was 
 in a very retired part of the country. It was 
 situated in a lane, shadowed by elms, then 
 almost bereft of their autumnal foliage, and by 
 groups of lofty pine. Few passengers went by, 
 as it was out of the high road, bounded on one 
 side by the fields, and on the other by my gar- 
 den. 
 
 Thanlvf ul was I this day that I was alone ; 
 for I was sweeping the chambers of my heart 
 for my lost treasure, and longed for a messenger 
 of the Most High to bring me some word from 
 him ; but none came. I read ; but the Scrip-
 
 84 THE SECEET OF THE LC)RD. 
 
 tures, through which my Lord had so often 
 spoken sweet words of consolation and giiid- 
 auce, were sileilt. 
 
 Late in the evening my servant had gone to 
 visit a sick person in the neigliborhood, and 
 I sat alone in the house, watching the shadows 
 deepen into night, and my sinking heart still 
 saying, '' Why is it thus with me ? "' The deep 
 stillness was broken by a loud hurried knock 
 at the outer door. At another time I think 
 my natural fears would have caused me to 
 tarry ; but I rose without hesitation ; for I had 
 lost the light of my life, and all else seemed as 
 nothing. Before I could reach the door, the 
 knock was repeated more vehemently. I in- 
 quired who was there, and was answered by a 
 stranger's voice, begging to see the lady who 
 lived there. She did not know m}^ name, but 
 had heard of me as an unworthy disciple of my 
 gracious Lord. 
 
 I opened the door, and, hastily lighting a 
 candle, led the way into the drawing room. 
 The broken accents, and the anguish on the 
 face of the stranger, won at once my tenderest
 
 FELLOwsnrr. 85 
 
 sympathy. It was a painful case, to whicli I 
 listened with intense interest, and long before 
 she came to a close, ray heart had taken up the 
 burden of my sorrowful visitor. She was a 
 Christian. Seven years before she had fallen 
 into the snare of contracting: an enffaijement 
 with a man of the world. From year to year 
 she had delayed ratifying it, hoping, as she 
 told me, that his soul would have been given 
 to her prayers. But it is not thus that the 
 Lord meets his children's disobedience. He 
 was outwardly moral in his life ; he was will- 
 ing to forego anything she disapproved, and 
 observe any outward forms, to Avin her for his 
 wife ; but he had no desire or intention to 
 change masters, or to exchange the slavery of 
 Satan for the freedom of the service of God — 
 that Lord whom still his betrothed loved, 
 though she had followed him afar off, in igno- 
 rance of that divine command so clearly writ- 
 ten for our warning in 2 Cor. vi. 14-17 : " Be 
 ye not unequally yoked together with unbeliev- 
 ers: for what fellowship hath righteousness 
 with unrighteousness? and what communion
 
 86 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 hath Kght with darkness ? and what concord 
 hath Christ with Belial ? or what part hath he 
 that believeth with an infidel ? . . . . Where- 
 fore come out from among them, and be ye 
 separate, saith the Lord." 
 
 The day had arrived when, knowing hei 
 resjjonsibility by a clearer knowledge of the 
 triiih as it is in Jesus, she must either contract 
 '•'■ this unhallowed marriage," as she termed it, 
 or part with him she confessed to love better 
 than life, better than all but Christ. The 
 anguish that convulsed her whole body, and 
 the misery depicted in her countenance while 
 this struggle went on, were like the wrestle 
 with the powers of evil. And never had I 
 such an experimental teaching of 1 Sam. vii. 
 I also this day set up a way-mark of my pil- 
 grimage. 
 
 There was no time to be lost. 
 
 " You must give him up. It must be done," 
 I said, as I gently drew her to her knees by 
 my side. 
 
 " But it will break my heart," slie said de 
 spairingly, as she wrung her hands in the bit- 
 terness of her sorrow.
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 87 
 
 " Not so ; Jesus is able to deliver you, if 
 you only believe. He will comfort you. We 
 will ask liim." 
 
 She did believe, and sbe zvas strengthened. 
 She rose from her knees with that same blessed 
 peace stealing over her which must have calm- 
 ed the fearful hearts of the disciples when, at 
 the fourth watch of the night, the voice of 
 Jesus floated over the billows, "It is I ; be not 
 afraid." In the power of the Spirit she had 
 cast her idol fi'om her, and broken-hearted at 
 the feet of Jesus, had strength given her to 
 leave all and follow him. 
 
 The blessing that fell from the lips of my 
 visitor as we parted descended like dew upon 
 my heart. Could she divine how the same 
 gracious Dehver had used her sorrows for my 
 consolation? When I had closed the outer 
 door upon her, and returned to that room, the 
 scene of much searching of heart and watch- 
 ing, and so lately of the wondrous power of 
 the Lord mighty in battle, I was to prove yet 
 more marvelously the faithfulness of Him who 
 has never said " Seek ye my face," in vain.
 
 88 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 I can only compare it to the sweet welcome 
 of a beloved friend awaiting me. In the depth 
 of my soul rang that voice that was never im - 
 itated : " I was a stranger and ye took me in." 
 The flood of joy that filled my whole being 
 spreading like the glory of day over the night 
 of weeping, left me praising Him who so often 
 has said to me, " Could ye not watch with me 
 one hour?" 
 
 A word concerning my God-sent visitor. 
 From that evening she grew in grace and in 
 the knowledge of the Lord. The snare was 
 broken, and she was delivered. Gracious was 
 the Lord in his dealings with her — leading 
 her, strengthening her, teaching her. From 
 time to time I have been permitted to trace his 
 wondrous work in her. She is now far distant 
 from me. Love and gratitude to the instru- 
 ment used by the Lord breathe in all her letters 
 to me, though years have gone by. The praise 
 with which she constantly records new bless- 
 ings that owe their birth to that " memorable 
 night" sends me to the feet of my beloved 
 Lord, who alone knows the weak and worth-
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 89 
 
 less witness of his grace. She constantly im- 
 presses on me the necessity of reminding young 
 Christians of that wily snare of Satan to entrap 
 the unwary — the hope of winning a soul. 
 We have no claim for protection and blessing 
 in a self-constituted service in the path of will- 
 ful disobedience. I use her own words : 
 
 " One hour I was raised np to the third 
 heaven, believing that my lover was converted, 
 so much pains did he take to deceive me ; the 
 next day I was dashed to earth by the discov- 
 ery of his false pretenses. But he was dearer 
 to me than life itself. Alone as I was, I could 
 never have broken the tie that united me to 
 him. It was then, even then, at the eleventh 
 hour, that the Lord in his grace and mercy 
 sent his dear servant to meet his poor wand- 
 erer, and by that grace and might gave her 
 the power to break the yoke that had weighed 
 so long upon the weary one's shoulders. May 
 the prayers of that night be for ever before the 
 Lord, that night to be remembered by angels, 
 and never to be forgotten on earth. Not only 
 was I enabled to give up the friend I loved so
 
 90 THE SECEET OF TBTE LORD. 
 
 fondly, but before I rose from my knees I re- 
 ceived strength to renounce him, and then — 
 to forget him ! Never have I had a relapse." 
 Much, much more I could extract from her 
 letters, that proclaims the loving kindness of 
 the Lord to the upright in heart ; but to me 
 they are sacred pages. I never receive them 
 as they follow me in my pilgrimage, but my 
 heart is braced for service, although strength 
 comes in a different form from that in which 
 I expect it, and I exclaim. It is good to wait 
 on thee. " I found him whom my soul loveth : 
 I held him, and would not let him go." Song 
 Sol. iii. 4. 
 
 " MY INFIRMITY." 
 
 ' Hath God forgotten to be gracious ? hath He in anger shut up His tea* 
 der mercies ? And I said, This is my infirmity." 
 Psalm Ixxvii. 9, 10. 
 
 I WEPT by the misty headland, 
 
 Down by the sea ; 
 And none in that hour of anguish 
 
 stood there by me. 
 Within and witliout was midnight; 
 
 Wliere once had been 
 The sinile of the Lord who loved me 
 
 No Lord was seen.
 
 FELLOWSHIP. 
 
 1 said, " On this earth's wide bosom 
 
 I wallc alone; 
 God liidctli liis face, I'm forsalcen; 
 
 All hope is gone! 
 I watch for his hand in the shadows 
 
 That shroud my feet; 
 I listen, and nothing I hear, save 
 
 My heart's wild beat. 
 
 « Cold, drear, is my soul, and loveless, 
 
 Hopeless and dead ; 
 For God has departed for ever," 
 
 Sadly I said. 
 " I shall never more bask in his presence. 
 
 Never proclaim, 
 ■With a song and the voice of thanksgiving, 
 
 Jesus' sweet name. 
 
 " Yet how can I marvel ho leaves me, 
 
 Faithless and vain, 
 To walk in the light of his favor 
 
 Never again. 
 My heart hath forsaken his mercies 
 
 And mercy is past. 
 And my Lord, whom my sins have long Avearled 
 
 Leaves me at last." 
 
 Then, swift as the flash of the lightning 
 
 Passing the sky. 
 Came a voice like a dove's in the woodland, 
 
 So tenderly; 
 ■WTien father and mother forsake thee. 
 
 Look thou above ; 
 The Father eternal remembers 
 
 The child of his love. 
 
 " The shadows have gathered around thee. 
 
 Bora of the light ; 
 Had the sun never risen to warm thee, 
 
 Where were thy night ? 
 Remember the sjirings in the desert. 
 
 Arid and tlicar ; 
 I or thee hath the wildorness blossomed : 
 
 Wliy dost thou fear ? 
 
 91
 
 92 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 " There are treasures beneath the dark waters i 
 
 Seek thou, and learn : 
 Hidden riches in secret places 
 
 Thou must discern. 
 And think not he changes or chides thee ; 
 
 Comforts decline, 
 But Christ made the covenant blessings 
 
 Eternally thine. 
 
 " He gave thee his promise to keep thee : 
 
 Can he deceive ? 
 He granted his word and his Spirit ; 
 
 Only believe. 
 He sought thee, cast out and forsaken; 
 
 Bidding thee ' Live ! 
 He gave thee the Son of his bosom : 
 
 More can lie give ?" 
 
 Then swift on the purple headland, 
 
 Down by the sea, 
 The light that seemed vanished for ever 
 
 Came back to me ; 
 And I look on the aiAN CriRiST Jesus 
 
 On God's high throne : 
 Forgive me, my Father ! I measm-ed 
 
 Thy love by my own.
 
 THE WITNESS OF TIIE SPLRIT. 93 
 
 CHAPTER V. 
 
 THE WITNESS OF Till SPIRIT. 
 
 Wlioso is wi?;e, and will obsei-A'e lliese things, even they shall 
 understand the loving kindness of the Lord. 1'sal.m evii. 43. 
 
 iriTHEN the apostle said, " I put away child- 
 
 ish things," the Holy Spirit did not in- 
 U^ elude simple childlike faith in our heav- 
 enly Father's care as one of the things to be 
 put away. 
 
 Tlie witness of the Spirit is too little regard- 
 ed : his power and his presence in the Chiu-ch 
 of God have ceased to be expected and recog- 
 nized in signs and wonders. While the fullness 
 of the truth in doctrine has been set forth, our 
 absolute dependence on the third person of 
 the Godhead for the apphcation of that truth 
 to the hearts and consciences of men has not 
 been^ fully recognized. He is admitted as an 
 influence for blessing, but not always as the 
 One whose prerogative alone it is to enlighten
 
 94 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 the eyes of the understanding, by impressing 
 the mind, by guiding the steps, by comforting 
 the heart, and by warning and improving the 
 conscience. 
 
 The gifts which were once manifested in the 
 church of God are seen only at distant inter- 
 vals and for brief periods. When they are 
 beheld, they create such suspicion and amaze- 
 ment, as to beget the cry that went out afore- 
 time against our blessed Lord : " He deceiveth 
 the people." " Neither did his brethren believe 
 on him." And yet the rivers of living water, 
 which were to flow from the hearts of them 
 that believed in Jesus, were promised only 
 from the Spirit's life-giving power. 
 
 The happiness that burns in the heart of 
 those who walk with God here is the foretaste 
 of that which they look forward to enjoy in its 
 fullness forever, — to live with him in unbroken 
 fellowship ; to be like him ; to delight in him 
 in whom the Father delighteth; to hear his 
 voice ; and to behold the King in his beauty ; 
 never more the shattered nerve and quivering 
 flesh to act as a cloud on the perception, oi
 
 THE WITNESS OF THE SPIRIT. 95 
 
 the shadow of sin to obscure the free revela- 
 tion of himself. Oh, this is bliss unutterable I 
 And now, even now, witli eyes and ears so 
 i^ften dull, and heart and feet so often failing, 
 is not this the desire born of the Spirit in the 
 heart, — to " follow the Lamb whithersoever 
 hegoeth"? 
 
 And you who read, is this your desire? 
 Then lose not the blessed privilege which he 
 has given you of approaching the King at all 
 seasons. Assure yourself continually of your 
 oneness with liim, and welcome the witness of 
 the Holy Spirit in your heart. " And hereby 
 we know that he abideth in us, by the Spirit 
 which he hath given us." 1 John iii. 24. If 
 you do this, you will find a speech and language 
 in things otherwise indifferent, but in which 
 he delights to reveal himself to them that love 
 him. Do not I fill heaven and earth ? saith the 
 Lord. Jer. xxiii. 24. 
 
 JNIany a sweet love message will then be dis- 
 tinct to your heart, and tokens of his guidance 
 and tender care will be read in his light ; and 
 these oftentimes fi-om sources insignificant and
 
 96 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 contemptible to those who are wise in their 
 own estimation. In the presence of the Holy- 
 Ghost, in the temple of God, there is nothing 
 common or unclean ; for " God is light, and in. 
 him is no darkness at all. If we say that we 
 have fellowship with him, and walk in dark- 
 ness, we lie, and do not the truth. But if we 
 walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have 
 fellowship one with another, and the blood of 
 Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us fi-om all sin." 
 " As many as are led by the Spirit of God, they 
 are the sons of God ;" and he has said, " In all 
 thy ways acknowledge liim, and he will direct 
 thy paths." 
 
 The Lord is not acknowledged in all the ways 
 of his people, and therefore they remain in sad 
 uncertainty whether he does dh-ect their paths. 
 It is not to acknowledge him in all our ways, 
 ask for light upon our path and then to neglect 
 the watchfulness needful to follow him in it. 
 We are not to do the Lord's work deceitfully 
 (negligently), and when we eat the fruit of 
 our own foil}' to sa}^ " It is the Lord." " Thou 
 shalt be perfect [margin, upright, sincere] with
 
 THE WITNESS OF THE SPIBIT. 97 
 
 the Lord thy God." Deut. xviii. 13- From a 
 lack of the witness of the Spirit, they who are 
 thus negligent lose the blessed companionship 
 of a Friend who sticketh closer than a brother ; 
 One in whose wisdom, and faithfulness, and 
 power, they may alone continually and safely 
 confide. The natural heart would have secrets 
 of its own ; it would fain, if it could, keep out 
 of its counsels the Lord who searcheth it, and 
 hide its ways from him. Fear, and shame, and 
 linbelief, clothe the God whose name is love 
 with the attributes of vengeance to the sinner. 
 The soul rejoicing in salvation rests even in 
 tribulation on the faithful love of liim whose 
 eyes are over the righteous, and whose ears are 
 open to their prayers. Have you been tried 
 by oppression and misconception, where you 
 thouglit you had the best right to look for 
 kindness and sympathy? Aclmowledge him 
 in it, and he will show you that the hearts of 
 men can be turned by his Almighty power, or 
 used as the means to hedge up your way. 
 Christ's love changes not : it is a blessed real- 
 ity. Barter not his precious smile, his sweet
 
 98 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 companionsliip, for any earthly possession. 
 Child of God ! communion with the Father 
 and the Son is your birthright. 
 
 There is no uncertainty as to lohat path the 
 Lord has undertaken to direct ; for he has 
 written, "all thy paths." Not only in the 
 dark way, when we are j)erplexed; not only 
 when the heart is in heaviness through mani- 
 fold temptations; but also when we tarry in 
 the pleasant shade of Elim's palm trees, as well 
 as by Marah's bitter waters ; yea, all our ways 
 he will direct and guide, as every day's need 
 requires. 
 
 The holy inspired Word is the revelation of 
 himself to man, from the sacrifice of Abel to 
 the unveiling of the glory on Tabor's moun- 
 tain, and the forty days' sojourn on earth. 
 The world he has created is but one vast arena 
 on which he is displayed. " The heavens 
 declare the glory of God, and the firmament 
 showeth his handiwork." He is seen iii the 
 earth and the fullness thereof; in the sea and 
 all that is therein. Not one form of insect-life 
 can be withdj awn withe ut marring the great
 
 THE WITNESS OF THE SPUIIT. 99 
 
 whole ; nor can anything be added to its per- 
 fection. " He hatli made all things beautiful 
 in their time." 
 
 The ant, the coney, the spider, he uses as 
 our instructors. The raven, the eagle, and the 
 dove, are ministers of his. The palmerworm, 
 the fly, the frog, the grasshopper, are part of 
 liis great army, "uhich carries destruction to 
 his enemies, and chastening to his people. 
 Nor is there anything his hand has formed 
 fi-om Lebanon's cedar to the minutest lichen 
 in our own land, which may not in turn become, 
 through the power of the Spirit, our teacher, 
 leading us to profit. When the circumcised 
 ear is turned to listen to the Lord, with whom 
 there is fellowship, then common events and 
 natural objects become spiritual parables. 
 
 The soul that seeketh him shall find him 
 eveiywhere, and rest continually in the realized 
 sanctuary of his presence — the rock of the 
 heart ! Well may he exclaim, " O fools, and 
 slow of heart to believe all that the prophets 
 have spoken !" when it is written that " liis 
 delights were with the sons of men." He is
 
 100 THE SECRET OF THE LOKD. 
 
 more desirous to give than we are to receive 
 that deep and full communion which he offers 
 us, as fi'ee as salvation, without money and 
 without price. 
 
 I was very happy in a place to which the 
 Lord had called me. I had also the occasional 
 rare enjojTuent of communion with one who 
 walked in the light of his countenance. The 
 winter had been a time of suffering, but the 
 early summer was breaking upon us, restoring 
 me to some measure of health, and I looked 
 forward to usingf it in his ser\dce. 
 
 One afternoon I sat in the sunshine, the 
 valley at my feet, and the balmy breeze from 
 the distant sea stealing over the May flowers. 
 I felt soothed and invigorated, and never had 
 my little tent in the wilderness seemed so de- 
 sirable. The Lord had blessed me there. My 
 heart was glad, for the Lord had made it joy- 
 ful. 
 
 Suddenly, in the stillness, I felt m}^ spirit 
 di-awn into the condition of listening, and the 
 impression came strongly on my mind that I 
 had tarried long enough in this place ; I must
 
 THE WITNESS OF THE SPIKIT. 101 
 
 now arise and follow Ilini. I strove to set it 
 aside ; it seemed so opposed to the purposes 
 for which I fondly hoped I had been raised 
 from sickness into comparative health ; but 
 there it lay like a cloud upon the fair prospect 
 before me. It was contrary to my natural 
 taste to leave this spot, and there seemed noth- 
 ing in opposition to faith in remaining. So I 
 waited before the Lord, desiring to do his will 
 when it was made evident to me. I asked to 
 see my way straight before my face. 
 
 Later in the day I saw my friend, and said 
 to her, " I think it is the Lord's will that I 
 should leave you, and go to the place that he 
 will show me." 
 
 Great was the opposition I met with. " It 
 is Satan," she exclaimed impetuously. " He 
 Bees the blessing here, and he has put it into 
 your mind to go away." 
 
 This indeed was a fiery dart of the wicked 
 one, and one to which I have not very often 
 been subject. Job's wife was used by Satan 
 to tempt him, and the friend who walked with 
 God was used to try me, and prove again that
 
 102 TUB SECflET OF THE LOED. 
 
 the treasure is "in earthen vessels, that the 
 excelleney of the power may be of God, and 
 not of us." The temptation to listen to her 
 was the greater, because she had followed 
 Jesus for many years, and I for only three. 
 
 There is an extensive service for the weakest 
 of the family, who are circumcised in heart 
 and spirit, and who seek not praise of men. 
 Let none, then, be discouraged ; nevertheless, 
 their faith must not stand in the wisdom of 
 men, but in the power of God. I find my need 
 continually to be reminded of this. That ser- 
 vice has been the most blessed Avhich I have 
 received direct from the Spirit of Truth, — 
 when, like Paul, I have not waited to confer 
 with flesh and blood. "Neither told I any 
 man what my God had put into my heart to 
 do," has often been one of the secrets of suc- 
 cess in service, seen onl}^ by himself. 
 
 The source of life in the body is hidden ; we 
 only see the results. The breath of the life of 
 Christ hidden in the soul sets in motion the 
 spiritual creature : the effects are felt and seen, 
 but the life is hid with Christ in God. Our
 
 THE AYITNESS OF THE SPIRIT. 103 
 
 Belf-seeking and lack of subjection, our little 
 quietude and patient waiting, hinder the fruit 
 for others, and leave the soul barren and un- 
 fruitful towards God. "Work begun, continued, 
 and ended, without any knowledge that the 
 work for God is really of liim, or acceptable 
 to him — work done without any communion 
 with him in its details — may still, by God's 
 long-suffering grace, be blessed to others, but 
 it is not blessed to the servant. 
 
 I met with great opposition fi-om my friend. 
 From this day I rapidly lost my strength. 
 This I felt was the hand of God; so I pro- 
 posed to make the matter a subject of special 
 prayer, that I might understand the will of the 
 Lord concerning me. My friend left me, un- 
 convinced that the Lord would have me leave 
 the place to which he had called me ; and pro- 
 mised to see me on the morrow. " The way of 
 the Lord is strength to the upright." 
 
 Next morning she met me with her heart 
 subdued to his will, but still reluctant to give 
 me up at once. " Yes, it is all true," she said 
 sadly; "you must go, but I think not just 
 
 yet."
 
 104 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 However, I prepared for my departure a few 
 days later. A letter readied me from a Chris- 
 tian lady, suggesting my going for change of 
 air to the neighborhood where she was resid- 
 ing. I had lost my strength so rapidly, that I 
 was thankful that the place proposed was 
 within an easy distance, which I might ac- 
 complish without much fatigue. 
 
 The set time being fully come, I went. I 
 called on the lady to learn where my lodgings 
 were situated. As I waited for her in the 
 drawing-room, feeling very weary and ill, Satan 
 took occasion to tempt me by suggesting that 
 this was not my place ; that I had left the one 
 designed for me, the pleasant little resting- 
 place, and the service suitable to my weak 
 hand, and had moreover refused to be guided 
 by my wise and loving friend, who knew the 
 way of the Lord better than I did. In the 
 midst of this fierce onset, a large stone was 
 thrown with violence against the window be- 
 hind me, and the glass lay shattered around. 
 With a cry of pain I lifted my sinking heart 
 to the Lord. I dare not write the rebellious
 
 THE WITNESS OF THE SPIRIT. 105 
 
 tliouglits that rushed through my mind, soon 
 to be put to flight at the word of my faitlifnl 
 God. 
 
 " Wherefore^''' I cried, " wherefore thls^ O 
 Lord ?" Instantly it was brought to me, that 
 " this also Cometh from the Lord of Hosts, who 
 is wonderful in counsel and excellent in work- 
 ing," though my thoughts did not run in the 
 exact words of Scripture. 
 
 I felt sure that the tender Guide of my 
 pilgrim way would not have permitted an ad- 
 ditional trial of my faith, or an added pain to 
 my suffering body, were it not that he had a 
 purpose to fulfill for his own glory, in which 
 also I might know him, and the power of his 
 resurrection, and the fellowship of his suffer- 
 ings, that I might be made conformable unto 
 his death ; and thus for me my loss was gain. 
 
 I pressed my hand firmly on my heart, and 
 prayed him to calm and still the throbbing 
 pulse of pain. He did so. Before the lady 
 had entered the room, I had returned again to 
 the peaceful position of rest, and I could say, 
 *' Happy are thy servants which stand contiu'
 
 l06 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 ualljj beio/e tliee." " But thou, O Lord, art 
 a shield for me, and the lifter-up of my head." 
 Now was the time to watch. The culprit of 
 tL3 broken window lived in a lane, through 
 which we passed to my lodgings. The lady 
 • proposed accompanying me, and calling on the 
 way to make a complaint against the boy to 
 his parents. The cottage was pointed out. I 
 declined to enter, and stood without. After 
 some time had elapsed the door was opened. 
 My friend came out first, and on the threshold 
 of the door stood a tall, j)ale, stern-looldng 
 woman, with a countenance in which anger 
 seemed mingled with bitterness of spirit. I 
 cannot describe the effect of her appearance 
 upon me. Like a roll of mighty waters came 
 the voice of Him who had called me to follow 
 him — 
 
 " Therefore!'' 
 
 I kept all these things, and pondered them 
 in my heart, " neither told I any one." 
 
 I had lately experienced the additional trial 
 of seeking guidance from man. It is not well 
 always to reveal the counsel of the Lord.
 
 THE WITNESS OF THE SPHIIT. 107 
 
 When tempted to speak iinacUdsedly and sin 
 with my lips, my loss has been great. I have 
 found few who undei'stood or cared for the 
 manifestation of the Holy Spirit, and speaking 
 of it to those who cannot receive it has occa- 
 sionally been used by Satan to lead them to 
 imitate the walk without the calling, or to 
 scorn the divine manifestation, and bring sin 
 upon their souls. 
 
 A few days passed. Helped by the quiet- 
 ude, and more invigorating air, I revived. 
 
 One afternoon I went to the house in the 
 lane, feeling assured that I had a mission there. 
 It might be only a few words. I had seen 
 that in his sight much doing was of no value 
 without Jdmself; and that he who cared for the 
 sparrow would care for me. I stood at the 
 door, content to do his will by the power of 
 the Spirit. 
 
 After waiting long on the step, the door was 
 slowly opened by the stranger, whose name 
 even I did not Imow. The pale, stern face 
 was even sterner and more rigid. She recog- 
 nized me as the companion of her visitor, and,
 
 108 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 perhaps, imagined I had come on the same er- 
 rand, or one equally unwelcome ; for she did 
 not appear inclined to let me enter. But the 
 Lord is " able to subdue all things unto him- 
 self." He had taken me to the door, and 
 opened it ; now he bade me enter. I asked 
 permission to rest awhile, and she gave a 
 cold assent. 
 
 Nothing daunted, I sat down. The air of 
 desolation in the half-furnished room was in- 
 describable. I could not help feeling that the 
 occupant had belonged to a better position in 
 life than she now occupied. This proved to 
 be the case. She had married a poor man; 
 her family were too " respectable" to help her; 
 and had therefore cast her off. 
 
 She was cold and reserved, and but for the 
 pity and sympathy the Lord put into my heart 
 towards her, I could not have remained as an 
 intruder. 
 
 At length I drew from her that her husband 
 was at sea, and she now feared he was dead, 
 so long had she been without any tidings 
 of him. She had six childi-en, only two of
 
 THE WITNESS OF THE SPIRIT. 109 
 
 whom coiild earn any thing. She was friend- 
 less, and had no claim on the parish. Bitter- 
 ness was in all her speech, and the proud 
 heart seemed galled and initated that her cir- 
 cumstances were disclosed to a stranger's ears. 
 I spoke, as the Lord seemed to guide me, 
 of the refuge in the day of trouble, and the 
 power of him who is that refuge. There was 
 no response. I opened my Bible, and asked 
 her if I should read. She assented gloomily. 
 As ■ we proceeded, I found that she knew, at 
 least intellectually, the doctrine of the cross ; 
 but of*the peace and the power which flow 
 from an experimental realization of the love of 
 God she had no experience. 
 
 I ceased to read, spoke a few words on the 
 loving kindness of the Lord, and asked the 
 desolate woman if I shoidd pray. Her answer 
 was slower ; she seemed to hesitate. At length 
 she replied: 
 
 " If you likey ^ 
 
 I did like. As I knelt, I said to her, " What 
 do you wish me to ask the Lord ? What do 
 you want ? "
 
 110 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 She seemed startled, and answered abruptly, 
 " Want ! why I want my husband to come 
 back, or to know where he is ! " But it was 
 in a tone which seemed almost to deride the 
 thought of going to the Almighty God on 
 such an errand. 
 
 " Kneel with me," I said, " and I will tell 
 the Lord." 
 
 She knelt. I pleaded the tender compassion 
 of my Father, and his promise. I told him, as 
 minutely as I knew, the sad circimistances of 
 the poor wife and mother, and finally asked 
 him to let her hear of or from her absent 
 husband, if still in the body, and to help her 
 now, and cheer her sorrowful heart. Clear 
 and strong came the voice of the Spirit wit- 
 nessing that the petition was of him." 
 
 '•''In three weeks she tvill meet with him.^^ 
 
 Before I rose from my knees, I said to her, 
 " In three weeks you will meet with him." 
 
 She was silent ; but the amazement and fear 
 visible in her countenance proved to me that 
 she had not yet been comforted, and did not 
 know the love of God. But he was in mj
 
 THE WITNESS OF TlIC SPIRIT. Ill 
 
 heart, and God is love ; and I yearned over 
 the forlorn woman. 
 
 She kept her eyes upon my face, while I 
 spoke with the tenderness I felt ; but no an- 
 swering emotion lighted her own countenance. 
 I rose to depart, happy in the tender message 
 of my Lord, and bade her farewell, without 
 receiving any response. My foot had passeil 
 the threshold ; she silently followed me, and 
 suddenly stretched forth her long thin arm, 
 until her cold hand grasped my shoulder con- 
 vulsively, and arrested my steps. 
 
 The Lord had smitten. Large tears were 
 on her face. In a hoarse voice she cried out, 
 rather than said, " You '11 come again ! You '11 
 come agam ! — won't you ? I '11 weary till I 
 look on your face again." 
 
 My heart was full as I went on my way. It 
 is q:ood to trust Him who alone seeth the end 
 from the beginning. I looked back. The light 
 fell full upon the tall gaunt figure upon the 
 threshold. Her lusad was still turned in the 
 direction of my steps, but her arm had fallen 
 despairingly by her side, and then the door of 
 the drearv home was closed.
 
 112 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 I visited her again, and strove to lead her to 
 believe in the love of God to her. Sometimes 
 she was cheered, and the Lord enabled me in 
 some degree to help her. Ten days had gone 
 by, when one morning a little rosy child came 
 to my lodgings. The landlady told me she 
 had even then been long waiting to see me. I 
 bade her come in, and recognized the youngest 
 child of the absent sailor, for I could not believe 
 him dead. Bright and fresh as the flowers 
 stood the happy messenger, her face proclaim- 
 ing that she was the bearer of an important 
 secret. 
 
 " Mother sent me T^dth this," she said, pro- 
 ducing a letter ; " it came last night. Mother 
 said, ma'am, you would like that letter ;" and 
 the merry eyes twinkled with dehght as she 
 watched me read it. 
 
 It was from the sailor husband. A vessel, 
 homeward bound, had brought it to the very 
 port near to our dwelling, and a sailor had 
 sped with the good news, Avith a sailor's delight 
 in helping a messmate's wife. It told her the 
 occasion of his long silence, breathing strong
 
 TEDS "WITNESS OF THE SPERIT. 113 
 
 affection to her and his children : he longed to 
 be with them again, and asked her to go to 
 Falmouth to meet him in a week from the date 
 of the letter ; for, wind and tide permitting, 
 they should be in the harbor by that time. 
 
 Three days within the three weeks they met. 
 "Was this chance ? 
 
 I went to her at once, to share her joy and 
 hasten her journey. A neighbor agreed to 
 look after the childi-en. I remained until she 
 returned with her long-expected husband. 
 
 "God is faithful. The Lord told us you 
 should see him again," I said, as she came for- 
 ward to greet me, her face beaming with joy. 
 
 " Yes ; but I did not believe him then — did 
 not believe your words." 
 
 The ship was paid off, and her husband 
 joined her. No sooner had he arrived than 
 the Lord led me to another place. " When I 
 remember these things, I pour out my soul in 
 me." Ps. xlii. 4.
 
 114 THE SECEET OP THE LOED. 
 
 CHAPTER VI. 
 
 DESEET PLACES. 
 
 He withdrew Mmself into tlie wilderness, and prayed. 
 Luke v. 16. 
 
 j|HE Most High dwelletli not in temples 
 made with hands." The new heart is his 
 abode, and there the Holy Spirit testifies 
 his presence, felt, if not acknowledged, even 
 by those who despise his power. However 
 contracted the sphere, however antagonistic 
 surrounding circumstances may be, let none 
 despair of testimony, and therefore of service. 
 The land cannot be barren through which the 
 river of life is flowing. Can a soul be unfruit- 
 ful if it reahzes fellowship with Jesus? Thus 
 in the sohtary place the stranger may look con- 
 fidently to the heavenly Boaz to perform the 
 kinsman's part. "VVe all know that in order to 
 experience the weight of loneliness it is not 
 needful to be alone ; the caverns of the heart 
 God only can fill. Thorns hedge up the busi-
 
 DESERT PLACES. 115 
 
 est path, and even in the home circle there 
 may be an isolation of the spirit, perhapii more 
 complete than in a desert solitude. 
 
 Such seasons are offers of special blessings, 
 when the Beloved cries, " Open to me ! " He 
 waits to come with new and living power to 
 the soul, in the tender relationship of friend- 
 ship. " O my dove, that art in the clefts of 
 the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let 
 me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voiSe ; 
 for sweet is thy voice and thy countenance is 
 comely."' Song of Solomon, ii. 14. 
 
 Surely none can sympathize with his solitary 
 followers so well as he who has gone before 
 them. Remember his divine capacity, and his 
 lowly station on earth, his pure mind that en- 
 dured the contradiction of sinners, and Ms holy 
 life that called forth the scorn and hatred of 
 men. But he went into the wilderness, and 
 there " prayed." He is in the wilderness still, 
 and he has allured his loved ones thither, that 
 they may hear his voice, and learn more of his 
 loving heart than they have yet done in the 
 busy activities of life.
 
 116 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 But there are those who tread this sohtary 
 path, too faintly realizing the love and favor of 
 God. To them the wilderness is a place of 
 conflict. But ah ! with whom is that conflict ? 
 Not with God, but with the powers of dark- 
 ness — " with wicked spirits in heavenly 
 places." 
 
 Soldiers of the cross ! followers of the Lamb ! 
 be of good comfort ; the Captain of our salva- 
 tion will meet his wounded soldier here. Does 
 he command heavy chains for the feeble hands 
 that can scarcely plead for the dumb lips ? 
 Does the Lord upbraid the weary one ? Does 
 he cast the sinking soul from his sight ? Nay ! 
 He stoops to wash the dust-stained feet ; He 
 cleanses the gaping wounds, pours in the oil of 
 his love, and lays the drooping head upon his 
 breast. " In all their affliction he is afflicted." 
 
 Be of good courage, ye who meet the enemy's 
 malice in many a fierce encounter in the desert 
 places. Jesus is the adversary of your enemy. 
 Confide in him : " Cast not away, therefore, 
 your confidence, which hath great recompense 
 of reward." As you live with him, you shall
 
 DESERT PLACES. 117 
 
 live for liim ; for " light is sown for the right- 
 eous, and gladness for the upright in heart." 
 
 I knew a man of God who earned his bread 
 bj tL3 sweat of his brow. It was impossible 
 to observe him and not feel that he was sepa- 
 rated from those aroinid him by the indwelling 
 of the Holy Ghost. He told me in deep hu- 
 mility, that he could not "speak for the Lord," 
 by which I discovered that he meant that he 
 could not accost strangers on the subject of 
 their personal salvation. If he could not speak 
 to man, he could to God ; and never shall I 
 forsxet the first time I heard his voice raised in 
 supplication and prayer at a little wayside 
 gathering. I knew not from whom it proceed- 
 ed, but I felt that whoever it was, that soul had 
 power with God. 
 
 He went to live in a village where none 
 cared for anything beyond this present life ; he 
 was a stranger indeed among them. Early and 
 late he labored in the fields. But the Lord of 
 the whole earth had ordained a blessing for 
 this dark hamlet when he sent his servant 
 there, and a river of the water of life was to
 
 118 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 flow through this lonely man, unseen by all 
 save the One Avho keepeth Israel, and who 
 neither slumbers nor sleeps. 
 
 Yet for this ministry the servant of God was 
 not required to forsake his calling, but to fol- 
 low the Lord in it. He lived in a poor thatched 
 cottage on the outsldrts of the village : and 
 when his work was done, seated by the low 
 casement of his room in summer time, he rested 
 his weary heart in close communion with his 
 heavenly Friend. Dispirited by intercourse 
 with the mocker and profane, he refreshed 
 himself with new contemplations of the cove- 
 nant of grace, or pondered over the promises 
 which he was every day proving for himself to 
 be priceless treasures and constant sources of 
 spiritual power. 
 
 As he communed with God aloud, and 
 poured forth his soul in prayer, a woman of ill 
 character passed by the cottage door; the 
 sound of the stranger's voice arrested her steps, 
 and she lingered by the casement. She lis- 
 tened. Never before had she heard a soul 
 spealdng to the God of its life in such glad
 
 DESERT PLACES. 119 
 
 thanksgiving for redemption through the blood 
 of the Crucified, or imagined sucli holy bold- 
 ness in approaching the Holy One, by her un- 
 sought. It seemed a new language to her ears. 
 The prayer ceased. The listener, astonished, 
 and perplexed, went on her way, and the soli- 
 tar}'' man, the charge of angels, lay down to 
 sleep. None but God saw that tiny rill of hfe 
 that followed a sinner's steps, whispering, 
 " Come ! " " And let him that heareth sav, 
 Come. And let him that is athirst come ; and, 
 whosoever will, let him take the water of life 
 fi'eely." Rev. xxii. 17. 
 
 Another day passed. The woman again 
 took up her station in the twilight to listen, 
 and the freedom from condemnation in which 
 the stranger rejoiced seemed to bind her in 
 chains of misery unfelt before. Her occupation 
 was a degrading one. She possessed a voice of 
 remarkable power and sweetness ; her husband 
 frequented the taverns in the neighborhood, 
 and she accompanied him, for with the price 
 of his wife's company and songs he procured 
 fi'om the landlord or liis guests the- liquor that 
 he thirsted for.
 
 120 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 Day by day the singer marked the man of 
 God, to see if his life contradicted his desires 
 after holiness, for his prayers set a sign upon 
 him ; she watched for his halting week after 
 week, but watched in vain. While in many a 
 conflict, and in humble brokeness of spirit, this 
 dweller in the desert seemed to himself a cum- 
 berer of the ground, as far as bringing any 
 honor to God was concerned, yet through him 
 flowed the living stream which should turn 
 " the wilderness into a standing water, and dry 
 ground into watersprings." 
 
 God's minister slept, unconscious of his min- 
 istry, little dreaming that the prayers he had 
 breathed in the silence of that summer evening 
 were disturbing the midnight orgies of sinners 
 to whom he had never spoken, and who had 
 never heard of his existence. The Avoman's 
 heart was heavy, and she could not sing. She 
 turned away in bitterness of spirit from the 
 Bcene in which she had hitherto dwelt content- 
 edly. The anger of her husband raged against 
 her ; his gains were gone, and the means of 
 procuring his evening's unholy revelry were
 
 DESERT PLACES. 121 
 
 over. His persecution added to the poor crea- 
 ture's distress, but it was as nothing in com- 
 parison to the weight of misery on her heart. 
 Heavier and heavier pressed the burden of her 
 sins ; the way of escape she knew not ; despair 
 took possession of her soul. Satan now thought 
 the prey was liis own ; he whispered that " in 
 death there was no remembrance;" but the 
 enemy added not, " and after death the judg- 
 ment." 
 
 The heart-stricken woman saw only one way 
 of escape from her wretched life and the mem- 
 ory of her sins, and she determined to rid her- 
 self of an existence which had become intoler- 
 able to her. One morning when she thought 
 herself secure from interruption, she went to a 
 neighboring stable, and t3dng a noose in a rope, 
 fastened it securely to a beam in the roof, and 
 prepared to end a life too miserable to be borne. 
 But, as her foot was on the edge of the loft 
 from which she premeditated casting herself 
 down, the stranger's praise and thanksgiving 
 for redemption thi'ough the precious blood of 
 Jesus came flowing into her mind, and arrested
 
 122 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 her. She knelt; she repeated again and again 
 the words of the prayer which had taken her 
 captive : such sweetness came with the words, 
 "Redeemed! pardoned through the precious 
 blood of God's dear Son ! " As if the flood- 
 gates of her tears had opened the way for 
 prayer, it poured forth in a wondrous tide. 
 The sinner wept at the feet of Jesus ! The 
 prey was taken from the mighty. Hour after 
 hour went by, and she heeded it not; and 
 dajdight had faded into evening before her 
 new-born joy allowed her to perceive that the 
 day was spent, and she was saved. 
 
 When the servant of the Lord returned to 
 his dwelhng, it was to find a rejoicing child of 
 the faith awaiting him, the fruit of those days 
 that seemed of no account, save that he walked 
 in fellowship -with Jesus. He had lived near 
 the fountain ; the stream that flowed in refresh- 
 ment through his own soul had given life to 
 the weary one without. John iv. 14. 
 
 Year after year, from many a prayer-meeting 
 arose the voice of the rescued minstrel, clear 
 and strong, in strains of praise to the Lord and
 
 DESERT TLACES. 123 
 
 Giver of life. And not alone. Pier husLand 
 was by her side, the first to give heed to her 
 words, and to believe her witness to the Lord's 
 long-suffering mercy towards herself. Heaven 
 alone can declare the harvest of that lonely 
 man who walked with God. 
 
 Have you not shrunk from desert places, 
 whether in the city's solitude or elsewhere, 
 and yet found that the Lord there revealed 
 himself in a manner that no other circumstance 
 could have afforded? 
 
 Has he not there proved better and dearer 
 to you than ten friends, and has not the wil- 
 derness rung with songs of heaven? There 
 yon have had some new communication with 
 the Lord you loved ; and, like Jacob in his 
 desert solitude, exclaimed, " This is none other 
 than the house of God, and this is the gate of 
 heaven." 
 
 I have had some experience of desert places 
 in my wanderings : they have ever been pro- 
 ductive of richest blessings. When, by the 
 grace of God, I have been able to look to Jesus, 
 and to Jesus only, he has made the wilder-
 
 124 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 ness and the solitary place glad for ine, and 
 caused the desert to rejoice and blossom as the 
 rose. 
 
 Subjection is a needful requirement to meet 
 the mysterious dealings of the Lord. The will 
 must be given up, not only as to place, but 
 as to manner of service ; and this is often the 
 Isaac last laid upon the altar. 
 
 Rocks intervene which hide the Shepherd 
 from the sheep, but never the sheep from the 
 Shepherd. His wisdSm apportions what shall 
 be fitting for growth and health. The foot- 
 steps of the flock are traced often on the ridges 
 of the mountain path ; the herbage is scanty 
 there, and they are often bleating for him who 
 is not far off. 
 
 I narrate the following incident, trusting to 
 the Lord to bless it to some member, as feeble 
 as myself, who may be cast in desert places. 
 
 I was in a position of peculiar discomfort, 
 surrounded by careless worldings, without any 
 Christian companionship. Physically I was 
 unfitted for any outward service, and I missed 
 the quietude needful for calm meditation. For
 
 DESERT PLACES. 125 
 
 days together I could not write or read, and 
 often it was an effort to think or pray. 
 
 My beloved Lord had so unmistakably placed 
 me in this position, that I could confidently 
 rely upon his purpose being fulfilled ; though 
 what that purpose was, excepting the discipUue 
 of an often impatient will, I knew not. 
 
 Waiting hours are seed-times of blessing. 
 But it is often the fourth watch of the night 
 ere we say, " It is good to wait on thee." " I 
 waited patiently for the Lord," is the key-note 
 of a song of praise. When I say that m}'- Lord 
 was present with me, I do not mean that I 
 was in a state of joyous emotion, but I realized 
 his promises, and knew that he was near me. 
 
 If we watch in times of tribulation, and Umit 
 not the Holy One of Israel, the desert will be 
 to his children what it was of old, a wondrous 
 arena on which his almighty power is displayed. 
 Darkness of circumstances is quite a different 
 phase of trial from darkness of conscience. 
 Though paiufid to the flesh, the soul has a 
 secret pleasure in watcldug the Lord's way in 
 the mighty waters, even when his footsteps
 
 126 THE SECE.ET OF THE LORD. 
 
 are not seen; and remembering his faitlifiJ- 
 ness, it exults, saying, " The Lord God shall 
 help me, therefore I shall not be confounded." 
 " The darkness hideth not from thee ; but the 
 night shineth as the day. The darloiess and 
 the light are both alike to thee." " Who is 
 among you that feareth the Lord, that obey- 
 eth the voice of his servant, that walketh in 
 darkness, and hath no light ? Let him trust 
 in the name of the Lord, and stay upon his 
 God." Isaiah 1. 10. 
 
 One day, while I was sitting by the window 
 close upon the street, an earnest-looking man 
 passed with a Bible under his arm. I watched 
 him, feeling sure that he was on some service 
 for my beloved Master. I said, " I cannot read 
 m^ Bible ; Lord, help me to pray for one who 
 can." I had at once the most blessed realiza- 
 tion of the acceptance of my prayer following 
 a servant of the Lord — for this I felt he was, 
 — and leaving a blessing with him. 
 
 A week had gone by, when a steamer was 
 preparing to sail. She was being loosed from 
 her moorings, when I sav/ the same thoughtful'
 
 DESERT PLACES. 127 
 
 looking man with liis Bible evidently haste nir ig 
 to the vessel. I ppayed the Lord to detain it 
 until he could reach it ; and I had the satisfac- 
 tion of seeing the stranger take his place, as 
 the steamer left the quay. 
 
 I then remembered that it was on this day 
 of the preceding week that I had begun to 
 pray for him. Then I said in my heart, " Who 
 knows but the Lord has placed me here to pray 
 for one who needs special help at this season ? 
 I will accept it as a service ;" and I gave my- 
 self to prayer. 
 
 Speaking naturally, I had not the least pros- 
 pect on earth of hearing of any result. Seven 
 weeks passed by ; I was expecting to close a 
 sojourn which, though one of much ti-ial, had 
 been brightened for seven weeks by the con- 
 sciousness of a secret service known only to 
 God. He " divideth to every man severally as 
 he will." I looked only to the day when hid- 
 den things should be revealed, to know how 
 m}^ praj'er had been blessed. 
 
 The Lord had ordered it otherwise. He is 
 a gracious master to those who work but one
 
 128 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 hour in his vineyard. I discovered for whom 
 I had been held in prayer ; and, previous to my 
 departure, the Lord so ordered circumstances 
 that I was obliged to apply to the stranger on 
 a matter which required his immediate reply. 
 
 This necessitated my writing to him. I long- 
 ed to know something of him ; but I kept the 
 matter in my heart, and confined myself wholly 
 to the business I had in hand. But when my 
 letter was written, I felt the Lord did not 
 smile on it : so I thought again, and prayed, 
 and rewrote it, but did not wait ; and then, 
 sad-hearted and discoui-aged, I said, " Perhaps 
 after all I am not to write." 
 
 Greatly to my discomfort, it seemed brought 
 before me, that I must have a personal inter- 
 view with the stranger. This was the only 
 hard part of my service ; but the Lord gave 
 me sweet assurance of his presence being with 
 me, and a few hours afterward I found myself 
 face to face with the subject of my seven 
 weeks' prayers. 
 
 The purpose of my visit was soon satisfac- 
 torily arranged, and my heart was refreshed
 
 DESERT PLACES. 12S 
 
 by the interview ; but on taking leave of him, 
 I told Him, that having no service here, I had 
 longed for something I could do, and from my 
 seeing him pass on certain days with his Bible, 
 the Lord had given me to pray for him. The 
 expression of his face told me that my service 
 was no delusion. 
 
 " Tell me how long you have prayed," he 
 inquired eagerly. " When was it that you 
 first began?" 
 
 " Seven weeks ago," I answered ; " on the 
 fourteenth of the month." 
 
 There was silence that I could not break. I 
 felt his IMaster and my Master was praised 
 and glorified in it. At last he said, " For sev- 
 en weeks I have been helped and upheld be- 
 yond all I can tell you." 
 
 He then detailed to me the circumstances in 
 whicli he had been placed, and whither he was 
 bound the first day I had seen him pass me 
 with his Bible. 
 
 Deep was the joy of that hour : sweet was 
 the lesson to my heart. ]\Iy heavenly Master 
 had appointed the service, and he would have
 
 130 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 me reap the fruit even here. Not man's judg- 
 ment of what the Lord requires from his weak 
 ones, but God's own requirement, constitutes 
 our true service. 
 
 It was from this simple incident that I first 
 learned to look up to him for direction in other 
 equally trjdng positions. God is faithful, and 
 will let none of his words fall to the ground. 
 Gracious Lord ! Thou hast said it, " Walk 
 before me." 
 
 If the Lord sends trial to his children, he 
 goes with it ; and if he gives faith, he tests it. 
 WhUe we strive to be rid of the cross it Avill 
 jruise us ; but if we take it up and bear it, 
 looking unto Jesus, it will become a fruit-bear- 
 ing tree. Mere emotional feeling, in which 
 the old nature bears part oftener than we- are 
 conscious of, is not always joy in the Lord, 
 but joy in some of his gifts ; and therefore is 
 it that trial and tribulation have many lasting 
 benefits that outwardly prosperous days fail in 
 secui'ing. 
 
 In fair weather as his vessel glides over the 
 water, the traveler gazes upon the coasts, bright
 
 DESERT PLACES. 131 
 
 iu the sunshine, spread on either side of him. 
 Occasionally, perhaps, he admires the wisdom 
 of the pilot. But when mists hide all the 
 beauty fi-om view, and storms beat upon the 
 vessel, the voyage is not so pleasant. It calls 
 for fuller faith in Him who guides. There is 
 the same unerring wisdom : but before the 
 tempest the traveler enjoyed the way and for- 
 got the Guide, and now, with liis eyes bent 
 only on the Pilot, he forgets the way. 
 
 Early in the spring of the year I came to 
 England for some affairs that required my pres- 
 ence. I went to London, intending to remain 
 a fortnight, which would complete the matter 
 for which I had been summoned, and then to 
 proceed into the country. 
 
 A few days after my arrival, however, I was 
 seized with severe illness. The spring passed, 
 and the summer came, and I still lay incapable 
 of moving, longing to quit the close air, but 
 unable to obtain an)'- change whatever ; for the 
 providence of God had so hedged up my path 
 that I could in no wise pass over it. 
 
 On the last day of August the heat was
 
 ■lo2 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 greater than had been Ivnown for years. The 
 walls of the opposite houses and the white 
 pavement reflected the rays of the sun, and the 
 glare added to the discomfort produced b}^ the 
 sultry atmosphere. My couch was in a small 
 apartment on the ground floor, looking on the 
 street, and the peculiar stillness which reigned 
 was vocal to me of what was not, save in 
 memory. 
 
 Long days and nights of suffering left me 
 incapable of occupation, and the leaden pres- 
 sure of the heated air weighed down every 
 thought which strove to rise above the body's 
 ills. A lonofinsr for that which was denied me 
 came to disturb yet more that time of inaction. 
 I craved for the fi-esh pure air of the country. 
 There was nothing sinful in desiring the fresh 
 air, you will say. There is sin in a rebellious 
 desire for what is denied, (Pro v. xxiv. 9,) a 
 lack of subjection, a lack of love. The cross 
 was galling, and I wanted it- changed before it 
 had borne fruit. 
 
 I closed my eyes : visions of green woodlands 
 and mountain paths rose before me, and last
 
 DESERT TLACES. 133 
 
 of all the cliildish memory of a river, with 
 every bend of which I was familiar. Its banks 
 were fringed with flowery sedges, and on its 
 bosom blossomed the white water-Ulies ; the 
 very ripple of the water for a moment seemed 
 conjured back by my fevered imagination. 
 
 O gracious loving God! Thou didst not 
 leave me there, dwelling on things of time and 
 sense. Neither didst thou visit my foolishness 
 by giving me the desire of my discontented 
 heart, by permitting me to choose my own path, 
 by granting me fields and summer flowers, and 
 sending leanness into my soul. 
 
 A brother or sister might upbraid me ; but 
 let me fall into the hands of the Lord, for he 
 is pitiful and of tender mercy, — he remem- 
 bered I was dust. My brain throbbed ; I tried 
 vainly to rest my longing vision elsewhere, and 
 turned heavily on my pillow. Through the 
 open window, round the corner of the street 
 came distinctly to my ear a low monotonous 
 cr". It was from an old man who sold wreaths 
 of immortelles^ some stained and painted to imi- 
 tate other flowers, some in their own natural
 
 134 THE SECTRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 beauty of white or gold color: clusters for 
 ornamenting the houses of the living, and 
 chaplets for adorning the low chambers of the 
 dead. Clearly his voice rang through the still 
 
 street, " Everlasting flowers ! Ever lasting 
 
 flowers ! " 
 
 I raised my head and listened, for to my sad 
 heart the words sounded as though from heav- 
 en, reminding me that this was not my rest. 
 There was no mistake. The words came again, 
 
 distinct and clear, " Ever lasting flowers ! 
 
 Everlasting flowers ! " and then the voice 
 ceased, and I heard it no more. 
 
 The man had unconsciously delivered his 
 heavenly message. The fountain of my tears 
 was unsealed ; the scales fell from my mental 
 vision : like the blind men by the wayside, I 
 received sight. " Jesus had compassion on 
 them, and touched their eyes ; and immedi- 
 ately their eyes received sight, and they fol- 
 lowed Him." Matthew xx. 34. I recognized 
 in this long-protracted suffering, this strange 
 captivity, this city dwelling, this sultr}^ silent, 
 oppressive hour, my Father's will, my Father's
 
 DESERT PLACES. 135 
 
 love. I bowed my neck again to his gentle 
 yoke, and never since that day has the snare 
 of green woodlands, and rivers, and summer 
 flowers, held dominion over me. For I know 
 that Jehovah- Jesus has something better for 
 his loved ones. It is the new man in Christ 
 Jesus that shall inhabit the glorious land ; he 
 has no part or portion in the earth which was 
 cursed for man's sake, although it may be fair 
 to the senses. I looked for a city whose 
 builder and maker is God ; I longed for fade- 
 less joys, for ever lasting flowers. 
 
 I was content to see the summer fade into 
 autumn, and autumn giving place to winter, 
 and I said. He leadeth me in paths that I have 
 not known; but he can open rivers in high 
 places, and fountains in the midst of the val- 
 leys. It is the same Lord who called me out 
 of Egypt, and he will not forsake. I shall 
 some day see why it is thus with me. Let 
 the Lord do that which is good in his sight. 
 
 Soon after this, an aged relative of the mis- 
 tress of the house returned from the country. 
 When I saw her, she asked my prayers in be-
 
 136 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 haK of a motherless girl in whom she had been 
 much interested : first, for her soul's salvation ; 
 secondly, that she might be brought to the 
 house in the capacity of servant. I declined 
 using my influence to induce this ; but I did 
 join her in prayer, that if the Lord saw goodie 
 would bring it about in his own way. Perhaps 
 I had less interest in the second part of the 
 request, as I daily looked forward to the possi- 
 bility of removal. 
 
 The Lord saw fit to keep me still a prisoner : 
 but the loving bonds no longer galled the flesh. 
 I was seeking him in it all. The hand pierced 
 for me had closed the door and' barred the 
 gate ; and I felt sure that when the time was 
 accomplished, light would shine into my pris- 
 on, and I should go forth imderstanding what 
 the will of the Lord was. 
 
 Time rolled on, and many a song of praise 
 arose from the rough waters on which it was 
 the will of my Lord that I should be borne. 
 The young servant was engaged. I was not 
 interested in her in any other way than by 
 natural love and pity for the orphan, a plea 
 which few can resist.
 
 DESERT PLACES. 
 
 137 
 
 December came — the last weelc, and tlie 
 close of the year found me where I was in its 
 first quarter. The busy Christmas time was 
 nigh, when the world, who celebrate the Lord's 
 coming in the flesh as of the flesh, are occupied 
 in planning enjoyment of the things of this 
 world's good, in which the Lord Jesus could 
 bear no part. 
 
 One day our little servant arrived from the 
 country. She was obedient and trustworthy 
 in her service ; yet it was but fruit of the old 
 nature ; the love of Jesus, as the spring of 
 life, was not there : so I yearned for her salva- 
 tion. 
 
 As I sat alone in the wintry twilight, I 
 looked back by the way my Lord had led me, 
 when, bound in the sins and follies of the 
 world, I looked forward to the joy of giving 
 and receiving new-year's gifts, which had no 
 aim but self-gratification ; the anticipated de- 
 light in the receiver, and the prejiaration mak- 
 ing up part of the satisfaction ; and I said, 
 " Lord, give me a new-year's gift. Give thou ! " 
 My thoughts rin over the spiritual gifts I
 
 188 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 needed, but did not pause tliere. " Give me a 
 soul, Lord ; give me Harriet's soul for my ne"v?- 
 yea^'s gift*" I craved for everlasting flowers 
 for my Saviour's crown. 
 
 I have said, that in this labor of love the 
 preparation of such a gift is foretasted joy, and 
 the preparation of the heart is from the Lord 
 My preparation consisted in increased suffer- 
 ing, which confined me to my chamber, and 
 left me more powerless than before for thought 
 or action. 
 
 To the soul resting on Jesus there is always 
 peace in believing; but those who have to 
 learn the fellowsliip of suffering, understand 
 something more of conformity to his death. 
 The fruit of the Spirit is brought forth accord- 
 ing to its season ; and if the call is for meek- 
 ness, patience, and long-suffering, it may be 
 borne with love, from which parent root it 
 springs : but he has not asked for joy ; grieve 
 not that you cannot give it. Suffer his will ; 
 in this there is rich compensation ; for those 
 that wait on him shall not be ashamed. Rev. 
 li. 3 ; Matt. xii. 50.
 
 DESERT PLACES. 139 
 
 I say this, because I would not have it sup- 
 posed that it was a joyous season with me : far 
 from it. I went forth weeping, bearing the 
 precious seed. Weeping did not hinder the 
 hai-vest ! It was not in my feeble hand bearing 
 it ; it was in the power of the Holy Ghost in 
 the seed of life cast forth. 
 
 Days passed. At last only two remained of 
 this year of pecuhar exercise and trial. Only 
 two ! and my prayer was still unanswered. 
 
 Satan came in like a flood, and never did a 
 more wily assault of the Evil One seek to 
 turn me from the desire of my heart. I had 
 prayed, I had spoken cursorily on the great 
 salvation, but I met with no response ; and 
 I saw less of our little maiden, so that my op- 
 portunities were now fewer even than before. 
 
 Satan would fain have persuaded me that, 
 as I had been unable to foresee this sickness, 
 therefore prayer was void. Again — that I 
 eiTcd in having fixed a time for my prayer to 
 be answered. 
 
 Still I had asked, and I knew it depended 
 on him in whom all power dwelleth. It waa
 
 140 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 as easy to grant my petition now as later ; and 
 I thought — I have asked for this soul to be 
 brought into light, and yet not one step in 
 faith have I taken to secure it. I rose, and 
 rang the bell. I feebly lifted up my heart to 
 Him who knew the utterly broken reed that he 
 had taken up, and yet I almost trembled when 
 the slow and rather heavy footsteps of Harriet 
 replied to my summons. 
 
 Oh, before that day I think I never knew 
 that any of those who had been saved from 
 destruction could find a difficulty in speaking 
 of their own beloved Lord, or in telling an- 
 other that he who had saved them was waiting 
 and willing to save all who go to him. 
 
 But I did speak for him in broken words ; 
 and weak, and almost weeping, I told her of 
 the love of Jesus to poor lost guilty man. 
 
 The stolid expression of cool indifference 
 that sat upon the countenance of my listener 
 was more painful than a contradiction of the 
 truth which I brought forward, for I could 
 have met that with " It is written." 
 
 But I went on. I told her what he had
 
 DESERT PLACES. 141 
 
 done for me, and that warmed my own heart ; 
 and I read such portions of His Woi d as show 
 our need of a free and full salvation, not re- 
 quiring of us to do anything- more than believe, 
 in order to be saved ; that Christ's work was a 
 finished work ; that we must have everlasting 
 life before we could walk or serve. " He that 
 believeth hath eveilasting Hfe." 
 
 The same gloomy face, the same hopeless 
 silence. My heart, that in the fervor of dwel- 
 lino; on the loveliness of Jesus had been san- 
 guine, now fell again. 
 
 I prayed briefly Avith Harriet, or rather for 
 her; and then she rose, replaced the chair, 
 carefully adjusted the carpet, which had been 
 slightly disarranged, and, without the least 
 trace of emotion on her countenance, left the 
 room. 
 
 I sank back, almost relieved that she was 
 gone, and that I was not called to speak 
 another word. I rejected the idea that I had 
 asked that which the Lord was not ready to 
 give me. It was for his glory ; and my only 
 pleas were his love, his power, and liis promise.
 
 142 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 Matt, xxviii. 18 ; John xv. 7. There were 
 yet twenty-four hours more. What could he 
 not do in twenty-four seconds, if it pleased 
 him? O thou of little faith, wherefore dost 
 thou doubt? 
 
 Another day — the last ; and again I felt led 
 to ring for Harriet. She came, bowed down, 
 as she told me, in the misery of unpardoned 
 sin. I pleaded with her to go to Jesus, just 
 as she was, now. 
 
 The temporizing flesh suggested, perhaps 
 some circumstances in the future, some other 
 person might be more blessed to her ; in time 
 this soul may live, and still it would be given 
 to my prayers, and I must wait. 
 
 Nay. I had prayed, " Lord, give me Har- 
 riet's soul for my new-year's gift." That 
 comprehended my instrumentality within a 
 certain definite period, and in reliance that 
 God had heard me, I had taken one step in 
 action, and this was in testimony that I relied 
 on his power ; for my own utter emptiness 
 left nothing for me to rest on. 
 
 Then I cried in my heart ; such a cry as
 
 DESERT PLACES. 1 i3 
 
 Elisha gave over the dead body of the child of 
 the Shunaramite. It was in vain to seek for 
 another argument, to urge her not to delay an 
 hour in seeking him who was waiting to re- 
 ceive her. All seemed blank. Memory failed 
 me ; my strength was ebbing fast. Inward 
 silent prayer was all of which I was capable, 
 and my cry, " Speak, Lord, for thy servant 
 heareth," waited onlv on him. " Show me 
 the word in thine own written promise that 
 shall give life to the dead." 
 
 I felt like one gone to the rescue of a 
 drowning man, myself battling with the bil- 
 lows, blinded by the brine, so that I could no 
 longer point out the harbor of refuge to the 
 shipwi-ecked stranger. But my feeble cry, 
 which OAvned Jesus as my hope, and Jesus 
 onl3% was answered speedily. I opened my 
 Bible. Like an illuminated text, so bright 
 and powerful stood out this blessed message 
 of my covenant-keeping God : " If ye then, 
 being evil, know how to give good gifts unto 
 your children ; how much more shall yoiu 
 heavenly Father give the Holy Spu-it to them
 
 144 THE SECRET OF THE. LORD. 
 
 that ask liim ! " Luke xi. 13. It was the voice 
 of my Beloved. " Behokl, he cometh ! " 
 " Behold, now is the day of salvation." I 
 read the verse aloud very slowlj^ and paused. 
 " I have it ! " I cried. " Kneel, and ask for 
 the Holy Spirit to be given you now, Harriet. 
 He will hear and answer you." Jesus was 
 indeed passing by ! Oh, so near, so near ! 
 We held him, and would not let him go. 
 
 "We prayed ; for there was no doubt now 
 that the bended head and clasped hands near 
 me were the expression of prayer such as is 
 heard in hoaven ; and then there was a 
 smothered sob, a groan — ^ the dead was 
 ahve ! 
 
 " My sins are gone, all gone ! " exclaimed 
 Harriet, as she sprang to her feet, and burst 
 forth into praise ; no longer the cool, indiffer- 
 ent being who had first knelt down with me, 
 but with a face that told the joy of sin for- 
 ever washed away in the blood of the Lamb. 
 Blessed Jesus ! He is faithful ! 
 
 Through the glad tears there met me such 
 a glance of grateful love that I shall never,
 
 DESEET PLACES. 145 
 
 never forget. That morning of joy was well 
 worth a night of weeping. 
 
 I said, " Dear Harriet, I asked the Lord to 
 give me your soul for a new-year's gift." 
 
 " And he has done it ! " said Harriet. "My 
 sins are gone I My heart is as light as a 
 feather ! " 
 
 I sang with Hannah in the temple of God : 
 " For this child I prayed ; and the Lord hath 
 given me my petition which I asked of him : 
 therefore also I have lent her to the Lord ; as 
 long as she liveth she shall be lent to the 
 Lord. And they worshipped the Lord there." 
 1 Sam. i. 27, 28. 
 
 To all appearance my words had fallen on 
 deaf ears, but it was not really so. I learned 
 afterwards the exercise of that soul so soon to 
 be reconciled to God, and brought into the 
 goodly heritage of peace and joy in believing; 
 and it strengthened my hand. 
 
 I was allowed to see the change clear in its 
 evidence, and also the growth in grace, wliich 
 I have now watched with tender interest for 
 ten years. When later I was laid still more
 
 146 THE SECKET OF THE LORD. 
 
 helpless on my sick bed, Harriet arose daily 
 before her usual time to seek in the Scriptui'es 
 for some crumb of bread wherewith to sustain 
 the life given, and committing a portion to 
 memory, softly repeated each morning at my 
 bedside the portion she had learned. Nor 
 was this confined to a verse or two, but ex- 
 tended often to the greater part of a chapter. 
 The comfort I found from this it is difficult to 
 express ; for the peculiar light and blessing 
 which always followed these portions of Scrip- 
 ture marked the certain guidance of the Holy 
 Ghost, and the prayerful search that my little 
 maiden gave to the task. 
 
 This it taught me, that the Lord setteth the 
 bounds of our habitation. There is no situa- 
 tion in which we are placed, but there is in it 
 a blessing for all who wait on Him : they shall 
 not be ashamed ! The soul that looks beyond 
 life's unsatisfactory joys, and will trust Him 
 unto whom all power is given both in heaven 
 and on earth, shall find the Lord of life in 
 desert places, ready to open the blind ejes, 
 and bring out the prisoner from the prison,
 
 DESERT PLACES. 14" 
 
 and them that sit in darkness out of the pris- 
 on-house. Then shall the dumb sing ; for in 
 the wilderness shall waters break out, and 
 streams in the desert, and the jurched ground 
 shall become a pool, and the thirsty ]a?id 
 isprings of water. 
 
 THE WOUNDED SOLDIER. 
 
 "The soul of Ihe wounded crieth out, yet God layeth not folly to them." 
 
 Job xxiv. 12. 
 
 It was the hour of battle, 
 
 No Inunan eye looked on ; 
 Angels and devils marvell 
 
 A victory is won 1 
 
 Tliere Is a moan of angiush, 
 
 A warrior lies low — 
 A poisoned shaft is proving 
 The malice of the foe. 
 
 In the still midniglit hour 
 
 No other sound is heard, 
 The weary hands fall heli>les9 
 
 That wielded well the sword. 
 
 There is no song of triumph, 
 
 Ajid none the chaplet twine, 
 O weak and wounded soldier, 
 
 For that pale brow of thine. 
 
 Hath earth no balm to bring him? 
 
 llath love no word to speak, 
 As in the dust he lieth 
 
 With heart so nigh to break?
 
 148 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 For fierce the foe that found him, 
 And who his power can scan ? 
 
 Oh, is there none to succor 
 That sad and lonely man? 
 
 Earth's sweetest love, nor angel. 
 Could solace now impart ; 
 
 No song, though heard from heaven 
 Uphold that sinking heart. 
 
 But see ! the Man of Sorrows 
 Comes where his soldier lies ; 
 
 He marks the lip that quivera 
 In untold agonies. 
 
 Say, doth he bring him fetters, 
 Or comes he to upbraid? 
 
 Nay! to his loving bosom 
 He draws the drooping head. 
 
 And in that deep, deep silence, 
 The gaping wounds are bound, 
 
 "With touch so soft and gentle ; 
 Hush ! it is holy ground. 
 
 O Christ ! thy tender pity 
 
 For every pang I see ; 
 Each sob of pain is numbered. 
 
 And counted as for thee. 
 
 Tea closer, and yet closer. 
 Thy woimded one is pressed ; 
 
 And human woes are whispered 
 Upon a human breast. 
 
 Then in the solemn silence 
 I hear the whisper sweet — 
 
 " Fear not, my wounded soldier; 
 Behold my hands and feet." 
 
 The fever's dream is over; 
 
 The tearless eyes can weep; 
 And he, whose arms enfold him, 
 
 Gives his beloved oleep.
 
 I 
 
 DESERT PLACES. 149 
 
 Best, rest, O wounded soldier; 
 
 Distrust thy Lord no more; 
 And think not strange the battle 
 
 Tliy Captain fought before. 
 
 He knows thy fierce accuser; 
 
 Thou shalt not fall nor yield; 
 Hold f:ist thy blood-red banner, 
 
 Thy bright sword, and thy shield. 
 
 Behoid thy strength in Jesus; 
 
 Believe thy Bkother nigh, 
 Wliose heart in love o'erlloweth 
 
 With tenderest sympathy. 
 
 Thou hast no pain he feels not, 
 
 No pang he doth not share; 
 And when tlie light was hottest, 
 
 Deliverance was there. 
 
 He kept thee in the conflict. 
 
 His shield was o"er thee thrown; 
 A Conqueror ne'er defeated, 
 
 Thy battle was his own. 
 
 Rest in his loye, and fear not; 
 
 The victory is won. 
 O weak and wounded soldier, 
 
 Thy Lord hath said, " Well done."
 
 150 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 CHAPTER VIlT 
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 
 
 And what agreement liatli the temple of 'God w/th idols? foi 
 ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I 
 will dwell in them, and walk in them ; and I will be their 
 God, and they shall be my people. 2 COK. vi. 16. 
 
 j^AN you have communion with God, and 
 ^qI yet walk with the world? We marvel 
 %i how any soul that has caught one tran- 
 sient gleam of the presence of the King of 
 kings should need the question to be answered. 
 " Know ye not that the friendship of the world 
 is enmity with God ? Whosoever therefore will 
 be a friend of the world is the enemy of God." 
 How can you clasp the hand of the world 
 that hates your Lord — that hates you, if you 
 in any way resemble him? You urge that 
 you frequent the society of worldlings as Jesus 
 did, and that he sat at the board of pubhcans 
 and sinners. Are you among them for the 
 same purpose ? — to rebuke the hypocrite and 
 Pharisee, and to succor the sin-stricken? If
 
 THE "WAY OF THE LORD. 151 
 
 your position and your powerless testimony 
 forbid this, look well to it that you have the 
 Master you profess to follow as your example, 
 and use not an excuse for your own self-indul- 
 gence which even the worldings about you 
 justly deride. " If tliine eye be single, thy 
 whole body shall be full of light. " 
 
 I have heard a Christian man arcrue with 
 an ardor worthy of a better cause in defense 
 of entering the rifle corps. Have heavenly 
 citizens their portion in this life ? Has the 
 Prince of peace commanded his foUoweis to 
 cultivate earthly warfare? Has he not said, 
 " My kingdom is not of this world ; if my 
 kingdom were of this world, then would my 
 servants light"? 
 
 Let those declare, who have once sought a 
 heavenly city, and now have joined the ranks 
 of the world's warfare, how much more they 
 now know of him who has called them to 
 follow him — how much deeper knowledge 
 have they gained of him — how much sweeter 
 has been their communion — how much are 
 they weaned from the world's snares and the
 
 152 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 power of sin — since they voluntarily sought 
 the parade and false glory that the worldling 
 delights in? 
 
 "Let the dead bury their dead." 
 
 Another believing brother pleaded the neces- 
 sity of retaining " manly sports," as he termed 
 cricket, for needful recreation. . 
 
 " Certainly," replied the Christian addressed, 
 " if to serve the Lord Jesus is irksome to you, 
 and you require relaxation with the world, the 
 flesh, and the devil, and you find cricket assist 
 you in your heavenward course, continue it, 
 pray." 
 
 The cricket-ground has lost the Christian 
 brother, and his vacant place is a testimony 
 for the Lord beyond what my word which his 
 position contradicted could have been. You 
 may offer your hands, and your feet, and your 
 head, and your voice to the Lord, but without 
 your heart, it is a vain oblation. 
 
 Abraham was called " the friend of God ;" 
 but we find no such expression of endeared 
 familiarity bestowed on righteous Lot, though 
 he was " vexed with the filthy conversation of
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 153 
 
 the wicked." We do not hear of him prapng 
 to be delivered from the evil men with whom 
 it was his choice to dwell, and from whom he 
 received the honor that cometh from men. 
 We find that he accepted a post of dignity 
 from them, and sat in the gate. If he lived 
 among them for testimony, that testimony was 
 valueless ; for when he would have saved his 
 relatives from the impending ruin, they heed- 
 ed not his words: he was to them "as one 
 who mocked." It is true that he was saved 
 from destruction ; but it was almost by com- 
 pulsion. The Lord being mercifid to him, he 
 was preserved. 
 
 If you are content with the world's honors 
 and favors, then you know nothing yet of 
 communion with a living God. If the only 
 desire of your heart is the ill-defined hope of 
 salvation from eternal death, and not of salva- 
 tion from sin ; if you live without fellowship 
 with the Lord Jesus Christ, and persuade 
 yourself that some natural attainment or pecu- 
 liar position is needfid to maintain it, and that 
 you^ a saved soul, may safely walk with the
 
 154 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 world, your loss here and hereafter is great 
 indeed. 
 
 Can you picture the day which followed 
 that solemn night wherein the destiopng an- 
 gel passed over the blood-sprinkled hntels of 
 the Israelites' dwelling ? Can you imagine 
 them hastening to join with the Egyptians in 
 their pastimes, forgetting so soon their deliv- 
 erance — forsaking their own mercies ? 
 
 I remember, as I was entering into the assur- 
 ance of eternal life by Christ, the testimony 
 of a child who had paid a visit to a worldly 
 famil}^ of my acquaintance. On being invited 
 to join in some idle game, she steadily de- 
 clined, and sat apart while others were en- 
 gaged in it. Vainly was she urged to make 
 one of the party. On being pressed to give her 
 reasons, she replied with unflinching courage : 
 
 "I do not think it would please Jesus if I 
 joined in such foolish games." 
 
 The following Sunday afternoon the little 
 witness was sought for in vain: When ques- 
 tioned, she confessed that she had taken her 
 Bible to the kitchen, to read to the " dear
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 155 
 
 servants j" adding, "they seemed very much 
 surprised." Nevertheless, they accepted the 
 ministry of the child ; and the simple prayer 
 that followed her Bil)le-reading must be still 
 remembered. " How is it that ye sought me ? 
 Wist ye not that I must be about my Father's 
 business ? " 
 
 Communion with God is not sanctification ; 
 it is the fruit of sanctification. It is only 
 known by the heart purged from dead works, 
 and become a temple of the living God, — not 
 a hall of controvei-s}^ on theology, nor an arena 
 for occasional worldly enjoyment. The lack 
 of the church to-day is a lack of individual 
 holiness, and therefore of individual testi- 
 mony. The natural heart would substitute 
 forms and ceremonies, and mis-called " good 
 works," for life in Christ; but " their Avebs 
 shall not become garments, neither shall they 
 cover themselves with their works." It is 
 easier to decorate the walls of edifices, than to 
 adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour ; and 
 to dehght in wax candles on the altar, than in 
 "the Light of the world."
 
 l56 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 The Lord is nigli unto them that fear him. 
 " He speaketh once, yea twice, yet man per- 
 ceiveth it not." He delights to walk with the 
 soul whom he has called out of darkness, but 
 the heart is often so immersed in the things of 
 time, that, as at the inn at Bethlehem, there 
 is no room for the Holy Child Jesus. 
 
 " I see there is no way to keep in commu- 
 nion with God,'' writes one who walked with 
 him, " but by strictly adhering to the words 
 of the apostle : ' I determined not to know 
 any thing among you, save Jesus Christ, and 
 him crucified.' There must be a shutting-to 
 of the door of the soul against any thing else ; 
 not onlj^ against sin, but also against any 
 undue care of or meddling with that to which 
 we are not called to attend." 
 
 To be blind and deaf to the evil around us, 
 we need the continual hel20 of the Holy Spirit. 
 None but the Holy One can touch the leper 
 and be undefiled. Who cannot remember the 
 wandering glance ; the thoughtless perusal of 
 the newspaper paragraph that fascinated the 
 careless mind off the watch ; the book whose
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 157 
 
 errors we intended to refute, and which took 
 us captive ; or tlie idle curiosity that led us 
 to look and linger ; following after, rather 
 than flying from, the fowler's snare ? 
 
 These are sinful failures that hinder us in 
 our communion, and leave us halting ; and 
 the accuser will again raise them before us. 
 We can only escape them by fleeing anew to 
 the blood of Jesus, the High Priest of the 
 heavenly sanctuary, who, being perfect man 
 and perfect God, can alone cleanse and heal. 
 
 Must you then leave the city and go into 
 retirement, to walk with God ? Nay ! where 
 would you go where sin and the world are not? 
 Has not Jesus said, "I pray not that thou 
 shouldest take them out of the world, but that 
 thou shouldest keep them from the evil. 
 They are not of the world, even as I am not 
 of the world." If walls of "brick and stone 
 could protect the soid against the sin which 
 th?3 inclose, and if ceremonial service and 
 priestcraft had power to remit sin, then the 
 withdrawal from a life of testimony, before 
 and against an ungodly world, Avould be ac-
 
 158 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 ceptable to God, — then Christians would be 
 safer in monasteries, or in any place of ascetic 
 seclusion. Such places have been most nu- 
 merous in the darkest periods. We are too 
 prone to reckon " the world " as comprehend- 
 ing the idle amusements and enjoyments of 
 the worldling, forgetting that " the world " is 
 adapted to each peculiar soul, and that it con- 
 sists to each in whatsoever he delights in out 
 of God. 
 
 Be not tempted to believe that fellowship 
 with God is confined to a few who possess 
 some special gift, or who, in forced seclusion, 
 have an imaginary enjoyment of spiritual life. 
 Although those who are contented with a very 
 little of Christ's company are of the exceeding 
 number, yet his followers are far removed 
 from idle dreamers. Things of eternity are 
 things of reality. Communion is compatible 
 with health aiui vigor, with household care, 
 and faithful attendance on life's daily calling. 
 The trials that meet us here are but as the 
 goads and nails of true crucifixion ; they drive 
 us nearer to Jesus, to bring about his own
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 159 
 
 counsels for our advancement, to hedge us 
 up into a closer fellowship with himself than 
 we could otherwise attain. Martyrdom is but 
 the outward fulfillment of inward crucifixion. 
 It is the crucified man who walks in resurrec- 
 tion hfe and power. " Deny thyself, take up 
 thy cross, and follow me." This is war, not 
 peace. It is battle declared against the world, 
 the flesh, and the devil. " In me," said Christ, 
 "3'e have peace," — not in the world, there is 
 no promise of it there. The followers of the 
 Master must expect tribulation and hatred 
 and scorn. Life is everywhere set forth as a 
 conflict. By his halting Jacob proved that he 
 had wrestled ; but Israel, prince as he was, had 
 still to serve and suffer. 
 
 Marvel not that you have but faint desires 
 after communion, or that you never realize its 
 joy, if your thoughts are engrossed by the news 
 of the world, your time wasted in the ceremo- 
 nious visit, the aimless letter, or the current 
 literature of the day — things on which you 
 ask no blessing, and expect none ; then it is 
 not strange that communion with the Father
 
 160 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 and the Son is as an unexplored land to you. 
 I inquired of one dear to me, to whom the 
 Lord has said, " Come up hither," why she 
 did not visit the International Exliibition. 
 She rephed, " I am longing after closer com- 
 munion with Jesus. I do not expect to find 
 it at the Exhibition, and therefore I do not go 
 there." 
 
 If the spirits of the blessed could regret, 
 would she be regretting now that she turned 
 from the things of time, which her natural 
 heart would have enjoyed, lest partaking of 
 them should hinder her realizinof her union 
 with Christ. 
 
 You may plead that you are not in a position 
 favorable to the development of the divine 
 life. Then you charge the Divine Giver of 
 that life with injustice. To you he is the hard 
 master, the "austere man," gathering where 
 he has not strown. 
 
 It is true there are seasons when the Lord 
 himself may lead you into Egypt ; but beware 
 now you seek such a place for yourself,, listen- 
 ing to Satan's deceitful suggestion, " Perhaps
 
 THE "WAY OF THE LORD. 161 
 
 you may do good." Such places of testimony, 
 if accepted from the Lord in prayer and 
 watchfuhiess, bring forth blessing ; but only 
 so : for it is written, " Come out from among 
 them, and be ye separate, and touch not the 
 unclean thing." With your eye on Jesus, 
 you may pass through the enemy's land as 
 safely as the yoling Israelites walked through 
 the fiery furnace before the multitude; as 
 securely as the man greatly beloved spent 
 the night in the den of lions. The God 
 whom Daniel served in the court of kings 
 delivered liim ; He is able to deliver you. 
 
 The soul must go on from strength to 
 strength. The Holy Child Jesus was brought 
 forth amid the herd at the wayside inn, but 
 he did not live there. He grew in wisdom 
 and stature, in meek obedience to his eartlily 
 parents ; and when the set time was fully 
 come he went up to Jerusalem. He must be 
 about his Father's business. 
 
 The soul born of God is not bidden to for- 
 sake the duties clearly marked out for him. 
 Some think that they can only preach Christ
 
 162 THE SECRET OF THE LORD,. 
 
 by forsaking their daily calling, and that thero 
 is no way of recommending the gospel but by 
 proclaiming it to a crowd. Doubtless many 
 are called to do so ; but many more, as they 
 go, preach, even while they think they have 
 no service for the Lord they love. They take 
 up the cross, and bear it before their worldly 
 family, or beneath the sneers of a godless 
 neighborhood ; they are most effectually 
 preaching by livmg the truth, oftentimes too 
 lightly spoken and too faintly realized. There 
 is a power in reality that even the scoffer does 
 not gainsay in his heart. That power flows 
 from fellowship with God alone — it is the 
 Spirit's witness. Song of Solomon, i. 12. 
 
 Is any longing to be able to say, " This is 
 my Beloved, this is my Friend ? " Is the deso- 
 late heart crying, " Where clwellest thou ? " 
 Hark ! His reply is, " Come and see." 
 
 You may be desiring fellowship with Jesus, 
 and yet be seeking by sense what is only given 
 to faith. You may look for it in some great 
 enterprise, and miss it in the every-day walk 
 of life. You may deny that you are hindered
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 1C3 
 
 tluouL^li unbelief, and yet it is a virtual denial 
 of Christ to make to ourselves another Christ 
 than the one revealed to us. " This is the 
 work of God, that ye believe on him whom 
 he hath sent." To believe on him is to live 
 with him — to glorify him. It is not enough 
 to know that there are treasures for us : if we 
 would really possess them, we must stretch 
 forth our hands for them, receive them, and 
 huld fast our coniidence to the end. If you 
 are indeed longing after this good land, then 
 acquaint yourself with him, and be at peace. 
 For this you need not wait till you have 
 climbed some difficult point of experience. 
 No intellectual study will give it to you. 
 " Whence then cometh wisdom ? and where is 
 the place of understanding ? " Job xxviii. 20. 
 The secret is simply faith in Cluist Jesus, the 
 wisdom of God, and the power of God. This 
 is received hour by hour, throwhig a light and 
 interest over the commonest aifairs of every- 
 day life. 
 
 The service of the sanctuar}^ is not always 
 carried on in the sight of the multitude, nor in
 
 1G4 THE SECRET OF THE LORD ■ 
 
 the presence of our Ijrethren. There are those 
 who stand by night in the temple of the Lord. 
 The service consists in the acceptance and 
 faithful performance of the allotted work. 
 The post of each servant is alike honorable 
 and of equal responsibility : "for unto whoso- 
 ever much is given, of him shall be much 
 required ; and to whom men have committed 
 much, of him they will ask the more." Luke 
 xii. 48. 
 
 Baal-hanan the Gederite, the overseer of the 
 olive trees and sycamore trees in the low plains, 
 (1 Chron, xxvii. 28,) had his work with- 
 out the house. But the oil from the crushed 
 berry called for the service of Joash : he was 
 appointed guardian over the cellars of oil. 
 Both were needed ; each must faithfullj'- fulfill 
 his office. 
 
 So now, we have our Gederites in the olive 
 groves in the sight of men, who know nothing 
 of the hidden treasures over which some cho- 
 sen Joash keeps his vigilant watch. None are 
 exempt from the life of faith ; for " without 
 faith it is impossible to please him ; for he that
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 105 
 
 cometli to God must believe that he is, and 
 that he is a rewarder of thera that diligently 
 seek him;" Heb. xi. 6. " The knowledge of 
 his will in iill wisdom and spiritual under- 
 standing " is the spring of service — " that ye 
 might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleas- 
 ing, being fi'uitful in every good work." Col. 
 1, 10. 
 
 If we will be childi-en, led by the Spirit, 
 renouncing our own wisdom, and willing to 
 be nothing, I believe we shall see and hear 
 him who came to do the will of his Father. 
 
 All service ought surely to flow from com- 
 munion with the Father and the guidance of 
 the Holy Spirit ; and the outward act should 
 be an act of faith, for whatsoever is not of 
 faith is sin. In this way tract distribution, 
 the Sunday-school class, and every other kind 
 of Christian work, would be as great a blessing 
 to the giver as to the receiver. There might 
 be less actually done ; there would be less to 
 be burned up. My own service and testimony 
 arc for the most part within a narrow limit ; 
 but, nevertheless, it 1(5 possible that the same
 
 166 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 experience would hold good in a far wider 
 sphere. I have found that the " word spoken 
 in season" must come from God, if it is to 
 reach the heart, and the seed must be commit- 
 ted to him, if we expect to gather the grain. 
 
 I remember, in a time of afiiiction, when I 
 had been long a prisoner to the house through 
 sickness, I desired to be used, feeble instru- 
 ment as I am, l^y my gracious Lord, who had 
 laden me with benefits. It was a bright after- 
 noon, and the necessity of air to assist my 
 recovery, after many months of illness, led me 
 to seek the will of the Lord in what manner I 
 could at the same time serve him. The case 
 of a sick person whom I could perhaps help 
 was brought under my notice. I was unable 
 to walk, and had it been otherwise, the dis- 
 tance was beyond my strength. I therefore 
 proposed taking a cab. Desiring that the Lord 
 should guide each step, I walked softly, that I 
 might not miss any token of his guiding hand. 
 Several cabs passed me as I waited, but I did 
 not feel free to use any of them. I was weary.
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 167 
 
 and I sought the Lord's guidance before return- 
 ing to the house, which was within a few yards 
 of the pLace where I stood. The object of my 
 journey I had seen plainly enough placed before 
 me ; the way of its accomplishment was yet to 
 be made known. 
 
 I reasoned in vain, and returned to the sim- 
 plicity of the babe, and prayed that my tender 
 Father would show me in what conveyance he 
 would have me go. My eye was led to an om- 
 nibus that was waiting for a change of horses. 
 This gave me time to reach it, and on finding 
 that it went to the end of the square I desired 
 to visit I entered it. When I say I felt God 
 with me, those who know his presence as their 
 joy and strength will understand the feeling 
 with which I took my seat in the omnibus. A 
 coarse-looking grazier fi'om the cattle-market 
 was the only occupant. He was making up his 
 accounts, and counting his money. I would 
 not interrupt him. I sat still and prayed. 
 But when his accounts were finished, I offered 
 him a tract. His first impulse was to thrust 
 it back ;„ his second to keep it. He looked at
 
 168 THE SECEET OF THE LOED. 
 
 my mourning dress, and then in my face. God 
 moved him to relent, and he held the tract still 
 in his hand. I spoke a few words, to which 
 he gave a gruff but not insolent answer. The 
 omnibus door opened, and a gentleman and 
 lady entered, the latter careless-looking and 
 fashionably dressed. 
 
 The grazier's eyes said, as plainly as eyes 
 could say, " Ah, you gave a tract to me ; you'll 
 give none to those fine folk." 
 
 Again I laid my feeble heart before the Rock 
 of my strength, and prayed him to brace it for 
 the next struggle ; for I confess I had found it 
 easier to give the tract to the rough grazier 
 than to the fine gentleman. 
 
 Did you ever trust in God and were con- 
 founded ? 
 
 No ! My fingers moved amongst the mes- 
 sengers of mercy, believing God was with me. 
 I am no heroine ; my heart beat very fast, and 
 my hand trembled, but I offered our smart 
 companion a tract, and the lady also, and they 
 received them. The grazier's eyes were on 
 me, and he smiled such entu-e approbation that
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 169 
 
 I felt cheered. Now he looked at the tract I 
 had given him, and then read it; and with his 
 horny fingers, he smoothed it carefully in folds, 
 and, opening his pocket-book, laid it amongst 
 his paper money, and placed it in his breast. 
 
 My weak hand was strong that da}^, for I 
 knew who had done it all. 
 
 A poor forlorn woman joined us; she sat 
 near me, and read a little book that I had given 
 her, and I saw tears in her eyes. As each per- 
 son came in I sought a fresh anointing ; and, 
 I can truly say it, the Lord was there. When 
 we reached my destination, I had one messen- 
 ger left, which I gave to the conductor, who 
 touched his hat and put the tract in his 
 pocket. 
 
 The exercise of faith, and hope, and prayer, 
 to which the little journey gave rise, taught 
 me a lesson which I have not forixotten. 
 Surely the Lord will often teach us in the 
 sunshine of his smile, if we will be but babes. 
 
 There was nothing actually done before my 
 eyes to show that my tract distribution was 
 successful. Granted. I had asked the Lord
 
 170 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 to let me serve liim — I, who am the least in 
 my Father's house. He knew what he wanted 
 done. 1 did not ask for results, I only asked 
 to do hi i will ; and he gave me the blessed 
 consciousness that I had done it, and that he 
 had smiled on me in the doing. 
 
 Martha is often left to " serve alone ;^^ she 
 loves serving. Mary is not alone ; the object 
 of her. desire is before her. Yet she is serving 
 him by sitting silently listening to the voice of 
 the Beloved. Oh to be found oftener there ! 
 
 Out of living communion with a living God 
 should flow life and service. And there may 
 be as much obedience in walking silently, or 
 hi traveling silently, as in giving tracts and 
 books. Prayer is alwaj^s ministration, and the 
 way is opened for the word by a mighty hand, 
 if our eyes are up unto Him who maketh a 
 way in the darkest wilderness. 
 
 I laiow that many are troubled in regard to 
 tract distribution, and also as to speaking to 
 their fellow-travelers on railway and other 
 journeys. This ought not to be. Waiting on 
 the Lor 1 will make all plain ; watching him
 
 THE "WAY OF TILE LORD. 171 
 
 will prevent many a fiery dart of the Wicked 
 One from reaching tlie willing workers ; and 
 the heart bent on doing his will, and the eye 
 on him, is ser^'ice, though none else behold it. 
 
 The fact of your having a tract in your 
 pocket, is not the reason why you should give 
 it, without asking counsel of the Lord. You 
 see a wearied man, with closed eyes, sitting in 
 a corner of the carriage. You may know him 
 by sight, as one of the earnest laborers in the 
 vineyard. You judge him — why does he not 
 give away tracts, or speak to these people who 
 are talking recklessl}^ and lightly around ? Let 
 hira alone. He is resting his weary head upon 
 a Savioui-'s loving bosom ; he is holding com- 
 munion with him who has upheld liira through 
 the labors, and trials, and temptations of the 
 day. And oh that we had more communion, 
 in these days of restless activity ! Neither 
 expect him to give a tract, nor break that 
 moment's peace by offering him one. 
 
 To walk with God is the secret of blessing: • 
 less may be visibly done, but that little will 
 have glorified the Loid in the soul so exe)--
 
 172 THE SECEET OE THE LOED. 
 
 cised, and bear on it the impress of God's 
 work, not man'ii. 
 
 TMs journey in the omnibus had a special 
 preparation for me. It led me to accept the 
 least service, if called on to follow the Lord ; 
 and there is great need of watchfulness to be 
 kept from all delusions of Satan, in waiting as 
 well as working. The witness of the Spirit is 
 never denied to the seeking soul, that desires 
 to be conformed to him who came to do the 
 will of his Father and our Father. 
 
 I had some business to be transacted in a 
 distant part of the country, for which it ap- 
 peared needful to employ a soUcitor. He gave 
 me some idea of the probable expense, which 
 far exceeded what I expected. Wliile ponder- 
 ing what the Lord's will was in the case, it 
 came to my mind that by his help I could go 
 myself and that he would direct my path, and 
 give me understanding of the matter in hand. 
 I was not hasty in deciding ; but this was 
 from natural reasons. I hoped that some other 
 way might yet be opened whereby I coidd es- 
 cape the cross, for cross it was.
 
 THE WAY OF THE LOKD. 173 
 
 After a few days an envelope reached me, 
 containing the sura which would have paid the 
 expenses of the solicitor, had he undertaken 
 the journey as he proposed. As far as outward 
 circumstances could be taken for guide, with- 
 out the witness of the Spirit, I should have 
 felt justified in employing lum, and avoiding 
 the journey. I believe this was a test whether 
 I woidd serve the Lord or not. I truly sought 
 to be guided, and the more I watched and 
 prayed, the fuller was the confirmation that 
 the Lord had chosen me to go. 
 
 I had been confined to my sick-room in my 
 little lodgings for the winter and spring. The 
 prostration consequent on over-exertion told, 
 as it ever will, upon shattered nerves and an 
 over-wrought fi-ame. I could not realize any- 
 thing but pain, and the troubles and temp- 
 tations of the way. All happy communion 
 seemed shut out by clouds and shadows. I 
 was leaving friends, with whom I had happy 
 fellowship, to go among those who neither 
 loved my Lord, nor believed the full blessed 
 truth of revelation. It was indeed going down 
 into Egypt.
 
 174 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 The day previous to my departure my cup 
 was quite full. I was tempted to think that I 
 was acting out a delusion; and that because 
 nature shrank from the journey I called it a 
 cross, and wanted to bear it in spiritual pride. 
 Satan came in like a flood ; faith failed ! 
 
 I sat upon the floor, my portmanteau was 
 half packed, and leaning my aching head upon 
 it, in very wearmess I wept bitterly. My pre- 
 cious Lord who wept on earth was watching 
 the weeper, and waiting to heal and comfort. 
 Among the litter scattered around lay frag- 
 ments of packing-paper, in which some articles 
 from a warehouse had been folded. Mechan- 
 ically I rolled a slip on my fingers ; as I did so 
 the words " the Lord Almighty" caught my 
 eye. Instantly I smoothed the torn and crum- 
 pled leaf, and read, " i, u'lio commanded thee to 
 take this journey^ am the Lord Almighty. Iivill 
 he with thee to bless thee.''^ 
 
 Never will that moment be obliterated from 
 my heart, for still in the eternal kindom I 
 shall tell the wondrous tale of eternal love to 
 the worst of sinners. Had Gabriel suddenly
 
 THE "WAY OF THE LORD. 175 
 
 appeared to me as before Zacharias, and de- 
 clared the message of the Lord of Hosts, these 
 glad tidings could not have shaken my soul 
 with more astounding power. It was as if God 
 were speaking face, to face with me, as with 
 His servants of old. I believed the message 
 was for me. My countenance was no more sad. 
 I finished my labors with a light heart. AYith- 
 out a pang I left behind me all I loved ; for 
 had not my Lord said, " I ^^dll be with thee to 
 bless thee"?* 
 
 I accomplished my long journey, but with 
 more obstacles than had hitherto met me on 
 my travels. We say, " It is the Lord ! " when 
 all earthly good prospers according to our nat- 
 ural desires. We inclose a great multitude of 
 fishes, and we believe God is with us. But 
 when he leads beneath stormy skies, we do 
 not recognize the loving Lord who walks upon 
 
 * A few words on the message so blessedly used to my solace 
 and deliverauce. Not another sentence was legible, but a line 
 at the edge of a coiTesponding leaf opened to me another 
 anthem of praise. It was a fragment of " The Penny Pulpit," 
 and I had prayed many times for the preacher who had de- 
 livered the sernH)n ; why or wherefore I could not tell, as I 
 had no personal knowledge of him beyond the simple fact 
 of seeing his name in print, and my mind being attracted to 
 him.
 
 J. 7 6 THE SECRET OF THE LOE.D. 
 
 the roiigli waters where our bark is tempest- 
 tossed ; yet the trial of faith and love thus 
 being proved in these lonely hours with Jesus 
 only, is as mighty a display of grace, and as 
 precious in his sight, as when " the seventy 
 returned again with joy, sajdng, Lord, even 
 the devils are subject unto us through thy 
 name." Luke x. 17. 
 
 Previous to my leaving London, the editor 
 of " The Life of Richard Weaver" had called 
 on me, and brought me the only copy of the 
 book ready froui the press. We prayed to- 
 gether for the work in general, and for this 
 copy in particular, trusting it would have some 
 mission in the worldly family where for a brief 
 season I must sojourn. 
 
 I arrived at the house where I was to re- 
 main, until the business which had taken me 
 into the country was arranged. In spite of the 
 sweet love-message which I still cherished, I 
 was often heart-sick and sad at all that sur- 
 rounded me, so utterly was my beloved Master 
 despised. But the Lord was using his enemies 
 for my enlargement.
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 177 
 
 The Lord had given me much favor in the 
 eyes of the housekeeper, a faithful, conscien-. 
 tious person, but without any knowledge of 
 her own state as a lost sinner, and consequent- 
 ly without any desire after him who is the 
 Saviour, I strove to lead her to hear what 
 God had said of our own righteousness, but 
 without any visible result. One afternoon she 
 told me that a young girl, who had been a ser- 
 vant in the family, lay sick at home. Her 
 mother's cottage was within a drive. She of- 
 fered to put a basket of provisions in the car- 
 riage, suitable for the sick girl, if I would go 
 to the next village and see her. She was very 
 anxious that I should not forget some tracts : 
 " And be sure," she added, " take your Bible; 
 for the poor sinners here have no one to teach 
 them." 
 
 On this I said, " Are you a sinner? " 
 
 " No," she replied with an expression of 
 entire self-satisfaction ; " I never did any harm 
 to any one in all my life ; but these poor crea- 
 tui'es are very ignorant." 
 
 The Holy Ghost can alone convince of sjn.
 
 178 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 She remained immovable ; and I have since 
 thought that she was glad to find me service 
 outside the house, to j)revent my troubling the 
 peace within. 
 
 The carriage arrived at the door before I 
 expected it, and hurriedly taking my bag from 
 the drawing-room table, I was on my way to 
 the cottage, accompanied by a pretty, careless 
 girl, one of the family of my host. 
 
 The lanes we drove through were bright in 
 the sunshine after a recent shower, and the air 
 was perfumed by the tasseled larch, and the 
 sweet scent of the meadows. Everytliing was 
 fresh and lovely. 
 
 The sick-room in the cottage, and the suffer- 
 ing face of the poor invalid, were a contrast to 
 the scene without. Her mother was a garriv- 
 lous old woman, with a ready joke and laugh, 
 and appeared quite regardless of her daughter's 
 state, which was evidently very critical. To 
 me she seemed fast sinking ; but the girl her- 
 self spoke cheerfully of her recovery, and was 
 sanguine of soon taking her place again in the 
 household which she served.
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 179 
 
 "With such companions, the task of visiting 
 this poor gill Avith purposes of love Av-as an 
 almost hopeless matter, as far as the instru- 
 ment was concerned. But my trust was not 
 in an arm of flesh, but in the living God. I 
 prayed, and waited. Soon I saw the Lord 
 working for me. The old woman led my com- 
 panion to the end of a long granar}'-, where 
 their voices were scarcely audible, and thence 
 into the garden, and I was left alone with the 
 sick girl. I at once spoke to her of the possi- 
 ble termination of her sickness by death, and 
 asked her if she knew anything of Jesus as the 
 good Shepherd and the great Physician. The 
 face of the girl was turned to me in wonder. 
 She listened as if it were a new song. She did 
 not sa}^ she "hoped that her sins were par- 
 doned," or she " trusted that God would be 
 merciful." She only looked up into my face 
 with eager and absorbed interest, leaning on 
 her elbow towards me, as if she would not 
 lose a word. But as I told her, if she saw 
 herself a sinner, that Jesus stood there ready 
 to receive her, the tears fell fast over her wan
 
 180 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 face, while an expression of grateful love 
 liglited up her countenance. I repeated a few 
 texts to lier, and, finding that we were still 
 undisturbed, I opened my bag for my Bible. 
 Great was my consternation ; no Bible was 
 there, nor even a tract, — only the "Life of 
 Richard Weaver," wliich I had taken by mis- 
 take for my pocket Bible as it lay beside it. 
 Disappointed and grieved, I replaced it in my 
 bag. We were interrupted by my companion, 
 who summoned me to the carriage. M}' time 
 had expired. With a sense of utter helpless- 
 ness, and in deep regret for my want of care, 
 I lifted up my heart to the Lord who is mighty 
 to save. 
 
 I felt strangely comforted. With my hand 
 on the book, the whisper of that voice of love, 
 which is heard when the earth keeps silence 
 before it, came distinct and clear, " Give ity 
 Again I lifted up my heart, and again came 
 the gentle suggestion " Give it." With a 
 silent prayer for spiritual blessing, I gave the 
 book, and told the poor girl it was hers if she 
 desired it. She looked at the bright green
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 181 
 
 cover, and turning over a page or two, her eye 
 lingered delightedly on a paragraph concerning 
 the lost sheep. Her face beaming Avith joy, 
 she eagerly thrust the volume in the bed, as 
 her ■ mother entered the room. I bade the 
 poor girl farewell, promising soon to see her 
 again, if the Lord permitted. The loving look 
 of gratitude which followed me to the door 
 soothed and cheered me. I felt that I had 
 done nothing but lead her thouG:hts to the 
 probable termination of her illness, and to the 
 mighty love of the good Shepherd, who laid 
 down his life for his sheep. 
 
 On my return, I told the housekeeper how 
 ill I thought the servant ; but she would not 
 beheve it, and insisted on keeping open her 
 place in the household, confident that she 
 would be able to resume her duties, as she had 
 done before. I was suddenly called away, and 
 was detained for a fortnight. My first question 
 on entering the house again was, " How is 
 Susan?" 
 
 " Dead ! " was the startling reply that fell 
 heavily on my ear.
 
 182 THE SECKET OF THE LORD. 
 
 " Dead ! " I repeated. 
 
 " Yes, dead — died mad ! And they say you 
 made her so. And they are all ready to do 
 anything to you, if you go there." 
 
 "Mad!" I said, greatly shocked. "What 
 did she do?" 
 
 -' Why she cried all night, and said she was 
 going to hell, and called herself a lost sinner, 
 poor young creature. She begged her mother 
 to fetch the kind lady who had spoken to her, 
 for she would help her." 
 
 " And did she come ? " I inquired, trembling 
 lest they had sought for me in vain. 
 
 " No ! " replied the indignant housekeeper ; 
 " it was something in that book you gave her 
 that did the mischief. She read it, and read 
 it again, and cried and sobbed. At last they 
 fetched the doctor. He ordered the book to 
 be taken away, and said it had killed her, 
 though he had not been to see her for weekb. 
 But she wept and prayed to have her book 
 again. So they sent for the parson. He said 
 her mind was quite gone, and you and your 
 book had done it.
 
 THE WAY OF THE LORD. 183 
 
 " Two or three days after this she awoke her 
 mother early in the morning. She was quite 
 cheerful. She said, ' Mother, I am so happy ; 
 I am going to live with Jesus ; I have seen it 
 all in a di-eam. I shall walk with him in the 
 green pastures I saw las.t night.' " 
 
 And with some few more words precious to 
 my sorrowful heart, she died. 
 
 Lord God Almighty, thou art faithful ! Ac- 
 cording to thy promise thou didst go with me 
 on this journc}^ and thou didst bless me. 
 Glory to thee alone ! 
 
 The housekeeper, however much she was 
 opposed to the doctrine of grace, prepared my 
 way from time to time among " the poor sin- 
 ners." Three of these were backsliders. One 
 from marriage with an unbeliever ; the others, 
 like Lot, had chosen the fertile land, and dis- 
 regarded the upper springs. Thus from luke- 
 warmness they had fallen into careless walking 
 and deadness of soul. 
 
 The housekeeper, notwithstanding her dis- 
 pleasure at the loss of her favorite servant, 
 begged the book which, as she said, had been
 
 184 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 the cause of her death, to keep in remembrance 
 of her. My o.wn path was full of trial ; but 
 abounding grace sustained, protected, and de- 
 livered me. 
 
 Dear reader, if you go into Egypt, be sure 
 the God of Israel has commanded you ; then 
 " be strong and of good courage ; be not afraid, 
 neither be thou dismayed : for the Lord thy 
 God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." 
 Joshua i. 9. . ■ 
 
 I do not ask it otherwise, 
 
 O spotless Son of God; 
 I do not ask to tread a path 
 
 That thou hast never trod. 
 
 Better to suffer — better far 
 
 To taste the cup of woe 
 Than miss thy smile of tenderness, 
 
 My light and joy below. 
 
 It is enough to know thy will. 
 
 And meekly follow Ihee ; 
 Enough! Thou wilt not lead me, Liord, 
 
 Where thou canst never be. 
 
 Then shall I weigh the worldling's sneer. 
 
 Or dread the laugh of scorn; 
 Sharuig with thy sweet fellowship, 
 
 The griefs that thou hast borne?
 
 THE SYMPATHY OF JESUS. 185 
 
 CHAPTER VIII. 
 
 THE SYjMPATHY OF JESUS. 
 
 Axe not two sparrows sold for a farthing? and one of them 
 sliall not fall on the ground witliout your Father. But 
 the very hairs of your liead are ;iU numbered. Fear ye 
 not therefore : ye are of more value thau many sparrows. 
 — Matt. x. 29—31. 
 
 JHERE is nothing great or small to Him 
 who rules the world. Page after page 
 in God's blessed book reveals this. Those 
 who delight to follow the unfolding of the 
 Divine purpose, in the minute chain of cir- 
 cumstance developed there, will love to see 
 God everywhere, and to find a speech and 
 language in the daily events of life : the heart 
 will be fuU of him who filleth aU creation. 
 
 When the stripling shepherd took the parched 
 corn and loaves to his brethren, it was his fii'st 
 step towards the throne. Aliasuerus's sleep- 
 less night led to Mordecai's promotion. When 
 Ruth went forth to glean in the fields of Boaz, 
 she knew not that her foot was on her own
 
 186 THE SECRET OF THE LOKD. 
 
 fair inheritance. When the woman of Samaria 
 carried her pitcher to the well, it was to meet 
 one greater than her father Abraham, and one 
 who gave unto her the living water. 
 
 The Lord, who would have his own to be 
 all things to all men, will be all things to us 
 according to our faith. To the soul that will 
 only be satisfied with intimate and unbroken 
 fellowship he manifests himself as the Friend 
 who sticketh closer than a brother. What- 
 ever thy need, the almighty Lord can meet 
 it. Aforetime he condescended to encourage 
 the timorous Gideon by a twofold sign, and 
 strengthen him by the narration of a dream. 
 He manifests himself to the doubting Thomas 
 in the way best calculated to dispel his doubt 
 and remove his unbelief. 
 
 He is still the same Jesus. He knows the 
 hearts he has to deal with. He knew what 
 we were when he called us to follow liim. 
 He forsaw that we should distrust him, deny 
 him, forsake him. But he is the almighty God, 
 and not man ; he loves us with an everlasting 
 love.
 
 THE SYMPATHY OF JESUS. 187 
 
 Tlie Lord who said, " I will bring the blind by 
 a way they know not," also promised, " Thine 
 ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying. This 
 is the way, walk ye in it, wlien ye turn to the 
 rieht hand, and when ve turn to the left." 
 
 You commit yourself to the guidance of 
 even a stranger who knows the point you de- 
 sire to reach ; and when you hear his voice 
 cheering you onward, you take courage, though 
 the mountain path be steep, and the mists blind 
 your eyes. Will you give less confiding trust 
 to Him who saitli, " All power is given unto 
 me in heaven and in earth ;" " Follow me"? 
 
 The minute thread of heavenly blessing run- 
 ning through the following incident, I always 
 remember, as one of the teachers Avhich the 
 Lord has chosen I should behold for his praise 
 and glory. Isa. xxx. 20. 
 
 One morning I found on my writing-table 
 two numbers of The Revival which had been 
 removed from a drawer, Avhere the periodical 
 usually remained until the end of the month, 
 when I forwarded a package into the country.
 
 188 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 I replaced them. The following day the ser- 
 vant had placed them again on my writing- 
 table with some books. They were in my way ; 
 impatiently I put them aside. As I did so, I 
 felt ashamed of my impetuosity, and sat down 
 before the Lord grieved in spirit. I considered 
 how often I was irritated by trifles, in which, 
 when I had taken them to him, I subsequently 
 found blessing, and I began to inquire of the 
 Lord why it was thus. 
 
 I thought that I might have omitted to read 
 one of these papers ; but, on looking at the 
 date, I remembered that it was a very inter- 
 esting number ; and as I held it prayerfully in 
 my hand, it struck me that I had possibly 
 overlooked something that the Lord intended 
 as a blessing for me. I carefully perused the 
 first page or two, when my attention was 
 arrested by the account of a blind boy learn- 
 ing to read by means of raised letters. I had 
 read it all before, but I could proceed no fur- 
 ther. The Spirit of the Lord most clearly 
 said to me — 
 
 " Send him eighteen-pence."
 
 THE SYJIPATHY OF JESUS. 189 
 
 I replied, " Lord, I know not where he 
 lives." 
 
 I sat quietly waiting, and it was brought to 
 my mind that I could forward the money to a 
 person living in or near the same village, and 
 that thus it would reach him. A text was given 
 me to inclose, which I wrote. I addressed an 
 envelope to the person who should forward 
 the stamps, and proceeded to direct one to the 
 blind youth himself. One or two very com- 
 mon envelopes lay before me, but m}^ hand 
 was on a good one with a deep mourning bor- 
 der. I reasoned that the common one would do 
 equally well, and laid the other aside. Hast- 
 ily completing the matter, I sought a messenger 
 to post my letter. 
 
 In vain. The rain poured in torrents. But 
 rain or sunshine was of little account to me ; 
 a desolation of spirit had fallen on me, which 
 no sunshine could dispel. Amazed and afraid, 
 I inquired, as I often have to do, " Why is it 
 thus Avith me ? " " Had I not done the Loi d's 
 will in the Lord's time?" Yes. But had I 
 done it in the Lord's way ? I took the letter
 
 190 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 from the mantle-slielf, an'l opened it. There 
 was the text as given — the stamps my loving 
 Lord had permitted me to send. Something 
 was lacking : what was it ? It was the best 
 envelope. 
 
 I argued, " The blind boy cannot see it." 
 Nay ; it was for the Lord. 
 
 At last I thought, Can it really be that the 
 Lord wishes me to use the best envelope ? 
 Then I was wilUng to be a fool for Christ's 
 sake ; and I was able to say, " Lord, it is a 
 little thing ; but it is better to do it, belie\^ng 
 it is thy will, than miss thee by not -doing 
 it." Accordingly I addressed the long black- 
 bordered envelope to the blind boy, and again 
 inclosed it. 
 
 Then the earth-mist of unbelief floated away 
 before the light of the Sun of Righteousness, 
 and my heart was glad. Before the post time 
 a messenger was found, for the rain had cea'scd. 
 My letter was posted, and I rested peacef'olly 
 on the Rock of my heart. 
 
 It was bread cast upon the waters. About 
 two months after this, in a seasou of great
 
 THE SYIMPATHY OP JESUS. 191 
 
 depression from trial and temptation, a dear 
 servant of the Lord called on me. I was not 
 in the house ; but the servant sought me, 
 saj'ing a sti-anger had called, and that he 
 could onlv remain a short time. I went in 
 full of hope. I knew not why. I felt sure 
 the Lord would comfort me through his own 
 messenger. 
 
 After we had spoken a little, he said, smil- 
 ing, " So you have a correspondent at K ? " 
 
 " No," I replied ; " I have none there." 
 
 " That is strange," he answered ; " I thought 
 I knew your handwriting. I was in a cottage 
 there one day, and among the papers and let- 
 ters in the casement I saw a black-bqrdered 
 envelope. This attracted my attention, and 
 I said to .the woman, ' Who is your corre- 
 spondent?'" 
 
 " 'Ah, sir,' she replied, ' that is a wonderful 
 answer to prayer. Poor Leonard has his " blind 
 books," you know. He has almost all the Tes- 
 tament now, and he wanted a box for them. 
 The carpenter said that he would make him 
 one for fifteen-pence. So Leonard prayed to
 
 192 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 the Lord to send him the money. There came 
 this letter, as you see, with eighteen-pence in 
 stamps and this text, which was indeed for him. 
 We don't know the name ; but Leonard always 
 prays for his " friend in London." ' " 
 
 Precious, precious return ! a flood of thanks- 
 giving rushed through my clouded heart, and 
 carried doubt and distrust away. 
 
 The gracious Teacher who was molding my 
 ungracious heart was gathering up the blind 
 boy's prayer. " Fear not, ye are of more value 
 than many sparrows." 
 
 " What is thy Beloved more than another 
 beloved, that thou dost so charge us? " Song 
 of Solomon, v. 9. 
 
 "Saw ye my soul's Beloved, 
 The faitliful and the tnie? 
 
 Tell him I seek him, sighing. 
 Longing to see him too. 
 
 " Tell him, oh, tell him for me, 
 
 His steps I cannot trace ; 
 I pine till he restore me 
 The sunshine of Ms face." 
 
 "Wlio is thy soul's Beloved? 
 And whither is he gone? 
 Wliy charge us thus? We know not 
 Thy lost beloved one."
 
 THE SYJ\U*ATHY OF JESUS. 19<J 
 
 "Jly Love Is white and rnady: 
 Who can his chanus declare? 
 The chief among ten thousand, 
 And altogether fair. 
 
 " I slnmbered in the garden, 
 I wandered from the way, 
 I lost the light that led me, 
 My joy has passed away. 
 
 " I sought hiiu in the broad way. 
 In the city's streets in vain; 
 Beturning to tlie valley, 
 I found my Love again." 
 
 B}^ visible and bj in\'isible means the Lord 
 answers the need of the heart. His resources 
 are infinite, and he loves that we should believe 
 they are so. 
 
 A few 3-ears ago my faith was tried by the 
 agony of a bereaved mother weeping for her 
 first-born. Grief had blinded her eyes to life's 
 daily duties and to God's tender love. In vain I 
 sought to comfort her ; it was human comfort ; 
 the -words fell on her ear, but never touched 
 her heart. She only realized her darling in the 
 grave, and sighed to behold him again. 
 
 At last one evening I felt I had been seeking 
 to console her myself, and had not carried her 
 grief to him who is the Comforter. I prayed
 
 1Q4 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 him that uight to soothe and comfort her iu 
 his own way : for only he who made a parent's 
 heart so tender, and knew the treasure he had 
 gathered, could minister to her overwrought 
 mind. I left her for the first time at the mercy- 
 seat. The following morning she met me with 
 a smile. She told me that in a dream of the 
 night she had beheld her child, bright and 
 blooming as before the brief illness which 
 carried him to his rest. He drew back the 
 blue curtain of the sky, and smiling upon her, 
 told her she must wait a little longer patientlj", 
 and that then they should meet again. 
 
 I was touched by the gracious pity that fell 
 on the sorrow of a mother's heart ; and she 
 learned 'another lesson of heavenly love, and 
 was comforted. 
 
 She knew her child was safe with Jesus. 
 There was no assurance needed for that ; nor 
 would a dream or vision have strengthened 
 her conviction. Bright was the testmiony of 
 the power of the life of Christ in her son, a 
 boy of twelve years -of age. We had only to 
 ti'ack his footsteps hc)\' to know liis resting'
 
 THE SYMPATUV OF JESUS. 19") 
 
 {Aace there, O bruised and blcediDg heaits I 
 seek ye the pierced band of Jesns, Avbo came 
 to bind up the broken-hearted and comfort all 
 that mourn. The sympathy of the Lord is 
 full and free, and unlike our niggard gift of 
 love to others. 
 
 There was a Christian girl who had a friend 
 to whom she was tenderly attached. The foun- 
 dation of that friendship was the only one that 
 never fails — it was knit in Christ. The means 
 of instruction were scant around them, and 
 the two young witnesses stood alone in their 
 families, helping and encouraging each other 
 on a way beset with diiEculties. The one 
 Avitli whom I was acquainted was assailed with 
 temptation, partly on questions as to the sepa- 
 rate state — a wile of the Evil One to tli-aw 
 her from her simplicit}', and entangle her in 
 vain philosophy. 
 
 She proposed to her friend, that in case of 
 the deatli of either of them, if still together, 
 they should mutually strengthen each othei 
 by making known any consciousness of glorj 
 beyond the grave.
 
 11*6 THE SECKET OF THE LORD. 
 
 She said to me, " My dear Helen fell sick 
 soon after. Great was m}* grief. In the few 
 weeks during which she vras rapidlj'^ fading, 
 her growth in grace was so visible that I know 
 now that the Holy Ghost was her teacher. 
 She told me that she was thankful for her ill- 
 ness, as it left her more alone with Jesus, and 
 she could now pass much of her time on her 
 knees, 
 
 " I did not realize that I should lose her, or 
 know how my heart would be drawn from my 
 dying to my undjdng Friend. She grew sud- 
 denly worse. I was sent for at her request, 
 and when I entered the room I saw that she 
 was greatly changed. She lay motionless, with- 
 out evidence of life. I feared that she had 
 passed away, and I had not been near her to 
 receive her last look or hear her last word. 
 
 " After long waiting her pulse again beat. 
 A faint color appeared on her lips, while her 
 face literall}" shone like an angel's. 
 
 " She turned to me, and said in a clear 
 voice, ' I have been to heaven ! but I shall 
 remam here a little longer. Such nearness to
 
 THE SYMPATHY OF JESUS. 197 
 
 Clirist ha-ve I experienced ! sucli views of the 
 atonement ! It is impossible to speak of it or 
 describe it.' 
 
 " I said to her, ' Remember, Helen, if you 
 see or know anything of the glory as you leave 
 me, let me know.' 'I will,' she answered 
 solemnly ; 'it is a covenant between us.' 
 
 " She appeared better ; but I returned home, 
 heavy at heart to leave her. 
 
 " Before many days had passed, drawn by 
 the force of our fond eternal affection, I again 
 returned to her. As I had feared, my beloved 
 friend was suddenly worse. Convulsions had 
 seized her. Her end threatened to be one of 
 terrible sufferings. Vainly her nm-se and some 
 of her family sought to dissuade me from wit- 
 nessing them, as I could not relieve them. I 
 took my place by her side ; the convulsions 
 ceased ; she became calm and still ; I bent 
 over her; she smiled sweetly, and said, 'No 
 valley ; no shadow.' Then all was quiet. 
 
 " ' All is over ! ' said the sister, trying to 
 lend me from the bed. Nay; for me all was 
 not over.
 
 198 THE SECRET OF TILE LORD. 
 
 " She lay still and motionless ; every pulse 
 had ceased. The nurse closed her eyes. 
 
 " I knelt beside her, and took in mine the 
 deathly hand which lay lifeless by her side. 
 
 " Amid my sobs of anguish I exclaimed, 
 ' Helen ! Helen ! do 3'ou know me ? Do 3'ou 
 remember our covenant ? ' 
 
 " Never can I describe that moment. The 
 eyes that had seemed closed for ever now 
 opened again. She gazed in my face. That 
 look I shall never forget. Such eyes, I should 
 think, have the angels before the throne. In 
 a sweet, distinct, most thrilling voice, she said, 
 
 " ' I am just eyitering heaven .'' 
 
 " Her eyelids fell ; her lips closed ; all was 
 still ; she never moved again." 
 
 God in his pitiful love to the tempted one 
 had sent her friend back to show heaven in 
 her face. Like Thomas, we can onl}- saj-, 
 " IMy Lord and my God ! " " Blessed are they 
 who have not seen, and yet have believed." 
 
 Who shall hmit the love and jiower of the 
 Holy One of Israel, " who giveth not account
 
 THE SYMPArilY OF JESUS. 199 
 
 of any of his matters ? " " For God speaketh 
 oijce, yea twice, yet man perccivetli it not. 
 In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep 
 sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon 
 the bed ; then he openeth the ears of men, and 
 sealeth their instruction." Job xxxiii. 14-16. 
 
 The eternal Father is God, and not man : 
 lie meets the jooor and ignorant, and them 
 that are out of the way, with that Divine love 
 we are so slow to believe, and of which we are 
 so cruelly suspicious. 
 
 One day I was in great sorrow over the 
 backijliding of a dear brother. I felt as if 
 Satan stood b}' to resist every effort I made 
 to help this wanderer. 
 
 During a night of special prayer and many 
 tears, the word came to my mmd, " If thou 
 wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory 
 of God." I took my Bible to comfort my 
 heart with God's blessed promises, and I 
 opened at John xi. " Thy brother shall rise 
 again." 
 
 " Said I not unto thee, if thou wouldest be- 
 lieve f' Blessed promise ! I did believe ; but
 
 200 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 it was not an abiding belief. I loolLed on the 
 waves of circumstances, and not on him who 
 ruled them. All without was dark ; and I, 
 more sad-hearted and dispirited, Hstened to 
 the tempter's voice, " Hath God said ? " 
 
 I sat in the garden praying to the gracious 
 Comforter to comfort me, and to deliver his 
 wandering child. As I prayed I received 
 strength to take God at his word. 
 
 My eye was attracted to a spider's web on a 
 rose tree near me in the sunlight. A poor fly 
 was caught in the mesh ; the more it strug- 
 gled, the deeper it was entangled. I felt 
 fascinated, so that I could not withdraw my 
 eyes. The great black spider in ambush was 
 ready to destroy his victim. All hope seemed 
 over, when a blast of wind rent the prison in 
 twain, and the bright-winged captive flew by 
 me in freedom. Then I praised the Lord. 
 
 Six long years of waiting, with the promise 
 given me often conned, and the picture of the 
 broken web often before me, when lo ! the 
 stone was rolled away, and he that was dead 
 came forth.
 
 THE SYMPATHY OF JESUS. 201 
 
 " i\Iy Fatlier ! I Uuink tlice that thou hast 
 heard nie." 
 
 A day or two after this blessed assurance of 
 life was given me, I received a letter fiora a 
 Christian friend, and she gave me for my por- 
 tion — "Said I not unto thee, that, if thou 
 wouldest believe, thou shouldest see the glory 
 of God ? " 
 
 I did not apply it at once, yet the words 
 deeply impressed ray heart. But in the 
 nightwatch the word came again, and I was 
 led back step by step through my hopeless 
 unbelief, my cruel doubt of God's faithfuhiess, 
 my read}'- ear to the tempter's voice, the night 
 of weeping, and the morning of hope, when in 
 a parable the Lord wrought out his loving 
 promise ; and, in tears of joy and mingled 
 shame at my own unfaithfulness, I again 
 exclaimed — 
 
 " This God is my God for ever and ever I 
 Ho shall be my guide even unto death ! " 
 
 "On';/ b'li'i-i- ? " O wondrous word:, 
 
 Tliiit wake the doubt iiiff sours dull chords 1 
 
 "r is Jesus i)Ie;idelh thus. 
 " Only believe ! " O Lord of light, 
 Help us to watch for ;hee by night, 
 
 Who watched long nights for us.
 
 202 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 Thou art " the same," though faith is low; 
 From tliee the streams of mercy flow; 
 
 Jehovah Lord ! ''The same" 
 To-morvow, yesterday, to-day: 
 Unchanged thy word with us shalt stay. 
 
 For Faitliful is thy name. 
 
 The Holy One of Israel is not limited to 
 time or place or circumstance ; it is the natural 
 understanding that limits him. Often has he 
 opened my ears in the night season, and sealed 
 instruction for mj'self and for others who were 
 on my heart. The following dream influenced 
 my spiritual life, and, as I have spread it be- 
 fore the Lord, light has dawned upon it, and 
 it became a teacher leading me to profit. 
 
 I was alone in sickness among strangers. 
 All probability of my recovery at this time 
 was over. I had only one desire, to bear tes- 
 timony before the world as to what the Lord 
 had done for my soid, and to depart and be 
 with Christ, which is far better. I looked 
 with complacenc}^ on increasing weakness ; 
 and the longing of my soul to be with Him 
 who had redeemed me, hid from me the 
 blessed privilege of serving and suffering for 
 him on eaj'th.
 
 THE SYlSirATIlY OF JESUS. 203 
 
 I had no desivc to return to life, and its 
 snares and conflicts. I feared that if healtli 
 should Le renewed, I might dishonor him who 
 had done such great things for me. I had yet 
 to learn tliat the Saviour from eternal death 
 was the Saviour from sin — the great High 
 Priest, the ever-living sacrifice. 
 
 In a vision of the night I was sailing alone 
 in a dark vessel over the Avild murky sea, 
 heavy clouds above me, the wide waters 
 around me. As. I proceeded the sky became 
 brighter, the waves calmer, and I beheld in 
 the distance the faint outline of a headland 
 jutting into the ocean. As I neared it land 
 extended far and wide before me. Every 
 moment it was more clearly discernible. Most 
 beautiful was that calm sunlit shore. 
 
 I felt my voyage was over. As my temp- 
 est-tossed bark neared the coast, more and 
 more of the glorious land opened on my sight. 
 I saw angehc forms awaiting me ; but I only 
 thought of One whom I saw not. Mv foot 
 was on the prow of my boat. With a raptur- 
 ous shout of joy I was about to spring od
 
 204 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 shore, when from out a giory-cloud above me 
 came forth the hand of a man. It pressed 
 gently but firmly on my breast, so that I was 
 impelled backward to the seat I had quitted. 
 Then it was withdrawn. My boat returned 
 to the ocean, under the lowering sky, and into 
 the chill atmosphere ; and the " delightsome " 
 land receded from my view. 
 
 " Go hack and save others^'''' said a sweet and 
 sonorous voice. The oars were placed in my 
 hands, but I plied them so feebly that the boat 
 seemed to lie motionless like a log upon the 
 water, and I said mournfully, " I make no 
 progress." 
 
 Then I beheld a huge vessel strike upon a 
 rock. It went to peices. Hundreds of people 
 were drowning : many clung to floating spars ; 
 some battled with the waters, then sinking 
 were seen no more. 
 
 A sharp anchor was cast into my heart by 
 an unseen hand ; to the anchor a long cable 
 was attached, which floated far and wide upon 
 the waters. One after another clung to the 
 cable. I could not see the way I v^-as going -•
 
 THE SYMPATHY OF JESUS. 205 
 
 I sccmccl stationary, and again went i.p my 
 ci'}', " I make no "way." 
 
 Tlicn I heard a voice sa3'ing to me, " Look 
 back, and see how far you have come." 
 
 I obeyed, and in the distance saw the wreck, 
 which was fast disappearing under the l)illows. 
 I gazed upon the faces of tliose who looked up 
 to me in eager wonder, clinging to my cable. 
 "With every stroke of ray oar the anchor grap- 
 pled deeper and deeper into ni}' bleeding heart. 
 Then I struck back with m}^ living freight to 
 the sunny land. As the surpassing glory broke 
 again upon my sight I awoke, and found my- 
 self still in the body of sin and suffering. 
 
 From that day I date the new light which 
 broke upon my heart, on the privilege of living 
 here, that the will of the Father may be done 
 on earth, as it is in heaven. Shall unl)elief 
 limit the tender fellowship of the Son of man, 
 who saith, " Without me ye can do nothing" ? 
 And shall our natural understanding, and the 
 adversary of souls, insinuate that there are oc- 
 casions too trivial for the con;(ideration of the 
 God of the whole earth ?
 
 20G THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 My service — for I would still recognize it 
 as service, tliougli it will appear mean to otlier 
 eyes — lias been principally carried on in way- 
 side watching, or in a chamber of suffering, in 
 weakness, in strange places, and in solitude, or 
 under what appeared unpropitious circum- 
 stances. Did I regard the result of my labors 
 I should be weary, and faint by the way ; but 
 it is impossible to estimate here how much we 
 have been allowed to do for the exercise of oui 
 own faith, and how much will be visible to the 
 reapers. Enough if we have sought only the 
 will of Him who has called us to follow him. 
 The wise father may command his son to wield 
 his hammer on the granite rock. Day after 
 day the feeble stroke may become stronger 
 yet the granite receives but a few faint marks, 
 that a graver's chisel might have traced. Com- 
 plainingiy he points out to his father that ho 
 has made no progress ; yet still he proceeds 
 with what seems profitless labor. The fatlier 
 ■finds him patiently at his work, with muscles 
 developed and healthy vigor bracing his fi-ame : 
 then pointing to the sinews of the arm that
 
 THE RYMrATIIY OF JCSUS. 207 
 
 have oljcilicntlj' performed the tusk enjoined, 
 he smiles on liini. That smile is sweeter to 
 the heart of the obedient child than Avithout 
 it M'onld have been tlie sight of an}' monument 
 of granite that might have been \\'r(night. 
 
 "Herein is my Father glorified, that 3'e bear 
 much fruit ; so shall ye be my disciples." Tlie 
 fruit must spring from the root: " I came not 
 to do mine oAvn Avill, but the will of him that 
 sent me." " 'J'his is the work of God, that ye 
 believe on him whom he hath sent." 
 
 I have dwelt upon this, in consequence of 
 receiving the often sorrowful complaints, of my 
 dear brethren and sisters, mourning the decay 
 of their usefulness, and regretting that the 
 aniictions with which the Father has visitecl 
 them liave AvithdraAvn them from the busy field. 
 The vine does not labor, it gives forth its fruit. 
 The Lord docs not prune and dig about the 
 wild thoiii, ])ut about trees of his own riolit 
 hand planting. 
 
 One of mv readers mav exclaim, "• We have 
 no need of dreams and visions to teach as."" 
 
 I answer, '•'•Shall not the Lord do n hat he
 
 208 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 will with his own? " The Lord cliose to mani- 
 fest himself in this gracious way to me. It 
 may be said, we have no need of the fair blos- 
 soms that every season make the earth glad 
 and bright ; no need of the sweet endearments 
 of loving kindred, and the unnumbered bless- 
 ings that fall upon our way. 
 
 Oh, ma}' he manifest himself how, and when, 
 and where he will I — in dreams hy night and 
 in parables by day ; in his written "Word ; in 
 his providence ; in the strokes of adversit}' and 
 the sufferings of this mortal body. " Sirs, we 
 would see JESUS."
 
 THE GREAT ADVERSARY. 209 
 
 CHAPTER IX. 
 
 THE GREAT ADVERSARY. 
 
 Wlial shall wo do, that we might work the works of God? 
 Jcs'ns answered and said unto them, Tliis is the work of 
 God that ye believe on Him whom He hath sent. 
 
 John vi. 28, 29. 
 
 UTIIEN the Lord claimed Paul as his own, 
 }l^ the first M'ords of the stricken Pharisee 
 evidenced liis desire to do the Lord^s will. 
 In persecuting Christ in liis people, he has 
 been doing his own will long enough. The 
 Lord at once commands as to the first step, and 
 gives promise of further direction : arise, and 
 go into the city." "I will show him how 
 great things he must suffer for my sake" was 
 the next beam of light upon the ministry of 
 the apostle of the Gentiles. The " secret of 
 the Lord " was with the chosen vessel, and he 
 could offer himself in the fidlness of confidinjj 
 affection. lie had heard the voice of Him 
 who spake as never man spake ; and then he 
 could say, " I am ready not to be bound only,
 
 210 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 but also to die at Jerusalem for the name of 
 tlie Lord Jesus." 
 
 Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy- 
 Ghost, is chosen to serve tables ; but he " did 
 great wonders and miracles among the people," 
 and "they were not able to resist the Tvusdom 
 and the spirit by which he spake." Not only 
 were the tables served, and the truth declared 
 by word of mouth — a prophecy of no smooth 
 things ; but we are at once shown the enmity 
 of the world to the Holy Spirit, for the liearers 
 were cut to the heart, and gnashed on him 
 with theii' teeth. Had he sought to please man 
 by interesting his auditory, or flattering their 
 intelligence, they had not stoned him to death ; 
 nor would he have been enabled to look stead- 
 fastly into heaven, and see the glory of God, 
 and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. 
 The Lord needs witnesses in this present evil 
 world. Much fruit is not recorded as the 
 result of Stephen's last sermon, though he laid 
 down his Hfe for the preaching thereof. But 
 what had he done ? — the ivill of Him that sent 
 him. And that witness for his Lord and Mas-
 
 THE GREAT ADVERSARY. 211 
 
 ter has been blessed to millions of sduIs, and 
 will be blessed to millions more. Like his 
 Lord, he prays first for his murderers; and the 
 result is, the gospel proclaimed far and near 
 by word of mouth, and the power of the same 
 Spirit felt, by one at that time a Pharisee of 
 the Pharisees — a young man named Saul. 
 " Ye shall receive power, after that the Holy 
 Ghost is come upon you ; and ye shall be wit- 
 nesses unto me," is the last promise of the risen 
 Saviour. 
 
 In these last days, when Antichrist is ram- 
 pant, with infidelity and spiritualism on one 
 hand, and Romish superstition on the other, 
 we need to test the subtle work of the Evil 
 One, who is steaUng on us as an angel of light, 
 to deceive, if it were possible, the very elect. 
 " To the law and to the testimony ; if they 
 speak not according to this word, it is because 
 there is no li^lit in them." In the ark of the 
 covenant there was no i)lace for man's theol- 
 0"v : the law of the Lord alone \\ as there. In 
 the heart of Jesus there was onl}- room for 
 God : " I delight to do thy will, O my God :
 
 212 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 yea, tliy law is within my heart." " Ye are 
 my witnesses, saith the Lord, and my servant 
 whom I have chosen ; that ye may know and 
 believe me, and understand that I am he." 
 Ps. xl. 8 ; Isa. xliii. 10. 
 
 It is not given to all, like Peter, to preach, 
 and then to see three thousand converts as the 
 fruit of their sermon ; or, like Stephen, to Le 
 stoned for the f^iithful delivery of his Master's 
 message ; but it is given tp all to take up the 
 cross dailv, and follow the Lamb whitherso- 
 ever he goeth. 
 
 " Henceforth I call you not servants, for the 
 servant knoweth not what his lord doeth ; but 
 I have called yon friends. ^^ John xv. 15. This 
 was not spoken by the Lord to the multitude 
 around, nor to his mother and brethren who 
 stood without, but to those dear companions 
 of three years' ministry who sat about him. 
 " Behold my mother and my bretluren ; for 
 whosoever shall do the will of my Father 
 which is in lieaven, the same is my brother, 
 and sister, and mother." Matt. xii. 49, 50. 
 That we may know his will, and do it, we
 
 TIIE GREAT ADVERSARY. 213 
 
 have tlic inMlible guide of Lis Word, the pro- 
 mise to the single eye and the pure heart. 
 " When he putteth forth his own sheep, he 
 goeth before them, and the sheep follow him • 
 for they know his voice." John x. 4. 
 
 If the Holy Spirit guides you to follow the 
 Lord in action, 3'ou may expect that obstacles 
 will arise in your path. These may appear of 
 little consequence when you yield to them, but 
 they will become the beam in the eye that 
 shall mar the vision, and in the end will bring 
 forth disappointment and pain. 
 
 Satan will not present to you what he would 
 offer to the worldling: it will be some form of 
 "good works" that shall draw you from the 
 path of simple obedience in which the Lord 
 has called you to follow him ; or it may be 
 some trivial act that will appear of little im- 
 portance whether you do it or not. He will 
 ])lace before you a natural enjoj'ment that shall 
 lull you to slumber, when you need special 
 vigilance ; or tempt you to a weak yielding of 
 {irinciple or action, that the natural under- 
 sianding translates as being "all things to all
 
 214 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 meu," to lure you from the path of simplicity 
 in which you desire to walk. Give not room 
 for temptation ; no, not for a moment. " Resist 
 the devil, and he will flee from 3'ou." 
 
 We are long in learning what a fertile field 
 of temptation is open to Satan in the mind 
 and the imagination. The wicked spirits in 
 heavenly places do not war with worldlings, 
 but with the Christian soldier who is looking 
 for victory in the strength of our great Fore- 
 runner within the veil. We may have taken 
 one step in dependence on the Lord, and the 
 result may be very different from that which 
 we anticipated. Discouraged and disappointed, 
 if we seek not the sanctuary of the God of 
 Jacob, we become an easy prey to doubt and 
 distrust. The Accuser injects fear into the 
 mind. And if we do not put on the whole 
 armor of God, we are again brought into legal 
 bondage. The eye of faith is taken off the 
 object of faith, and fixed on self. This is an 
 unsatisfactory centre, and leads far from peace. 
 " In me ye shall have peace." 
 
 " Return unto thy rest, O my soul ! " Christ
 
 THE GKEAT ADVERS^UIY. 215 
 
 is thy wisdom. Those very events which you 
 are deploring, and on account of which you 
 have been led faithlessly to say "It cannot be 
 of the Lord," are perhaps the very circum- 
 stances which were to spring from the step 
 you took. 
 
 I am not supposing a case of needless action, 
 but one of watchful, prayful seeking to do his 
 will. Self-judgment is one thing ; the accusa- 
 tion of the enemy of souls is another. We 
 look to the mercy-seat ; the blood . is there to 
 cleanse. But if 3'ou look for certain jDOsitive 
 results as the fruit of the step you took, mar- 
 vel not that you are disappointed. 
 
 The Lord has promised that we shall know 
 his will. He has nowhere covenanted that we 
 shall understand his ivay. His command is 
 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he 
 shall direct thy paths." This commandment is 
 exceeding broad, and embraces every possible 
 contingency. It is not in much pondering on 
 residts, or in much serving, that Satan is kept 
 at bay ; but by a simple, child-like dependence 
 on a faitliful God and Father.
 
 216 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 The gracious Lord, who giveth liberall}^ and 
 upbraideth not, has taught me, at various sea- 
 sons of my spiritual life, through his hidden 
 ones. And often, in sohtary places, when I 
 have longed for Christian fellowship, he has 
 guided me to some one as lonely as myself, 
 through whom I have been instructed. At 
 such a season he once led me, after many days 
 of prayer, to a cabin on the roadside, so rudely 
 constructed with planks, that in passing I 
 wondered if it were inhabited. One morning 
 I reached it. The door was ajar, and, looking 
 in, I saw an aged woman, whose back was 
 towards me ; she was peeling potatoes. On 
 one side of her was the kettle, into which 
 when prepared she dropped them ; on the 
 other side was the basket ; but before her was 
 an open Bible, into which she glanced from 
 time to time as she proceeded with her work. 
 Near her was a girl of about eight years of 
 age. 
 
 I watched them for a few minutes unob- 
 served, then gently placing my hand upon the 
 woman's shoulder, I spoke of Him whose mes-
 
 THE GREAT ADVEIISARY. 217 
 
 sage of love lay beneath her finger. The sim- 
 ple wisdom of her reply made me glad in the 
 Lord. 
 
 I asked to whom the child belonged. 
 
 " To me," she answered ; " she is my grand- 
 child." 
 
 I said to the child, '^ Do you know tliiit 
 jour grandmother is the daughter of a King ? " 
 
 The old disciple bent her head backward, 
 and looking in ray face with a beaming smile, 
 answered, 
 
 " Thou also art one of them ; for thy speech 
 bewrayeth thee." 
 
 " The royal family are poor here." 
 
 " No," said my bright-faced friend, " no ; 
 we're rich, now, rich now. INIy Father owns 
 the cattle on a thousand hills, and every beast 
 of the forest is his." 
 
 She had been feasting on the bread that 
 Cometh down from heaven, and her face told 
 of whom she had been talcing sweet counsel. 
 
 When I saw her again it was no longer thus 
 with her. She was greatly depressed. She 
 had been ill, and sorely buffeted by Satan.
 
 218 TjIE seceet op the lord. 
 
 Slie replied to somethmg I had said on Satan's 
 devices to stumble the saints : 
 
 "Yes, I know that it is sin that makes my 
 sorrow. Satan is like a dog ; if you leave the 
 door ajar, he puts in his head ; and then, if you 
 do not shut the door, he puts in his paw ; and 
 if you don't get up and slam the door, he gets 
 in his whole body. Ah, ma'am, I don't slam 
 the door in his face. I wish I could always 
 do that. Just as often I open the door, set a 
 chair for the Evil One, and let him be seated." 
 
 "Be of good courage," I said; " Jesus has 
 overcome liim, and you will overcome in his 
 strength." 
 
 " I have been thinking," she said. " I have 
 been very ill, and cordd not get up, and so I 
 have had a good deal of time to think, you see. 
 I am come to the conclusion that there is noth- 
 ing like a child of grace in me." 
 
 " That is Satan at the door," I said, trjing 
 to draw her from her sadness. 
 
 " No, ma'am, no," she said despondingly, " I 
 am not a bit like those good old martyrs. I 
 said to mj'self last night, when I could not
 
 THK GllEAT ADVEESABY. 219 
 
 sleep, 'Now, I say I love God; now would I 
 die for him ? Would I be sawn in two, or 
 burned on a gridiron, or with fagots in the 
 market-place, or be torn in pieces, for the faith 
 that's in me?' No!" repeatedthc poor old 
 woman, shaldng her head sorrowfUly, while 
 her wan face told how real had been the con- 
 flict. Satan had put in his paw. 
 
 " Has the Lord called on you to be burned 
 in the market-place, or to be torn in pieces ? " 
 I inquired. " If so, be sure that he will give 
 to you, as he did to his martyrs of old, grace 
 to witness for him. Dying grace for dying 
 hours. ' Without me ye can do nothing.' " 
 
 "I see it!" she exclaimed joyfully, "I see 
 
 it!" 
 
 And Satan ceased to fight, for the harassed 
 dove was resting in the bosom of redeemuig 
 love. 
 
 ^S^
 
 220 THE SECRET OF THE LOED. 
 
 CHAPTER X. 
 
 TESTIMONY. 
 
 Jesus saith unto him, Have I been so long lime with you, and 
 yet hast tliou not know me ? — John xiv. 9. 
 
 'EVER yet was a soul born again of God to 
 be placed in such a position that fellow- 
 qJs ship with Jesus was unattainable. That 
 would be to deny us the only solace here, the 
 brightest hope for eternity. What can com- 
 pare for a moment with the favor of the King's 
 countenance ? The smile of Jesus is a fore- 
 taste of that bliss which we look to enjoy as an 
 everlasting portion. It is love that makes the 
 pilgrim's home of glory. It is not the promise 
 of "no more pain" to the sick, nor of ties of 
 earth re-knit to the mourner, that constitutes 
 the bliss of heaven. It is that which makes 
 our delight here — the unclouded presence and 
 companionship of a risen Lord and Saviour. 
 
 When, commissioned by their Lord, the 
 mourning women went forth to tell to his dis-
 
 TESTLMONY. 221 
 
 ciplcs tl.c glad tidings of his resurrection, the 
 disciples treated it as an idle tale, and believed 
 them not. Nevertlieless, this did not invali- 
 date the fact. Those who ^\■erc most inter- 
 ested in the matter ran to llie toiiih, notwith- 
 standing that the Avomen had proclaimed that 
 Jesus had risen. They desired to assure tliera- 
 selves that it was no fabrication of excited feel- 
 ing, but a confirmation of the promise so ten- 
 derly spoken to console them, had tluj but 
 believed. Mark xiv. 27, 28. Their heavenly 
 Master, having foretold their denial and deser- 
 tion, did not withdraw his love. He continu- 
 eth faithful. 
 
 To the travelers to Emmaus he appeared in 
 " another form ;" but it was the same Jesus. 
 Mark xvi. 12. They had equally to endure 
 the rejection of their testimon}-, as the Avomeu 
 had done, because that testimony embraced a 
 clearer revelation of the person of Jesus than 
 others had then received. Oh, if their hearts 
 burned within them by the way, how was it 
 that the}^ wist not that it was Jesus ? Who 
 besides could open their understanding to un-
 
 222 THE SECEET OF THE LORD. 
 
 derstand the Scriptures, which testified of these 
 things ? Having once felt him near them, liow 
 could they willingly part with this blessed 
 companion of their lonely way ? Well might 
 they pray him to " abide " with them. Was 
 he hard to be entreated ? No ! When did he 
 yet leave the soul that drinks life, and joy, and 
 strength fi-om his presence only ? 
 
 While the friends of Jesus were receiving 
 only the testimony of others they doubted. 
 He had been long time with them, and yet 
 they had not known him. John xiv. 9. They 
 journeyed with him as a stranger ; they spoke 
 of the things which had been done, but not of 
 his words, which should have prepared them 
 for what had happened. But he communed 
 with them. He lets them hold him by their 
 loving constraint. Song of Solomon, iii. 4. He 
 breaks to them the bread, the hallowed tok- 
 en, his divine legacy ; and then indeed he is 
 recognized as their ever-living God and Sav- 
 iour. Ah, then they waited not to discuss 
 with the multitude, who knew him not, 
 whether such things could be. The fire within
 
 TESTDroxv. 223 
 
 their own breasts witnessed with wboiti they 
 had walked and tallced. 
 
 Dear soul, do you believe that you may be 
 so satisfied with the conii)aniouship of Jesus, 
 that earth's passing pleasures cease to win :i 
 desire after them ? If you have a Friend 
 fairer than the children of men, one whose 
 lips are full of grace and truth, you have a 
 more powerful magnet than the world's fasci- 
 nations. Do you believe this ? Or do you 
 aver that this companionship is a theory of the 
 imagination only ? Look well to it. Such a 
 thought is not of God, but from the father of 
 lies. You may cavil at my words ; but search 
 the Scriptures, and seek tliis communion ex- 
 perimentally. If you are as sincere as Thomas 
 was, go to the Lord himself, and he will solve 
 your doubt. Why give the half-hearted assent 
 that brings neither rest to yourself nor glory 
 to your Lord? Why not be a vessel sancti- 
 fied and meet for the Master's use ? He is as 
 willing to give His presence now, as when in 
 the morning twilight on the shores of Tiberias 
 he invited the toiling disciples to leave their
 
 224 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 nets, exchanging for them that companionship 
 which he desired more than themselves. 
 
 The blessing of the soul that belie veth li^s 
 in fellowship. Sin is the odc only circum- 
 stance that can destroy it. There are days 
 when our eyes may be holden that we cannot 
 see him ; but we must look for him and expect 
 him. The Lord does not call us to the war- 
 fare at our own charges ; and the difficulties 
 which sometimes seem io obstruct the path in 
 which we have souo'ht to walk with him are 
 but answers to former prayers for patience and 
 meekness. But we must believe that he is 
 willing to remove the obstacles in our wa}*, or 
 enable us to overcome them, as shall be most 
 to his glory. 
 
 I have never committed the least matter to 
 him that I have not had reason for endless 
 praise. Praise which I have begun here, for 
 the results which he has allowed me to see, 
 and praise Avhich I feel assured is to be eternal, 
 for what I shall see hereafter. 
 
 The infidel will sav, the-re are certain laAvs 
 which will be carried on, whether you see
 
 TESTDIONT. 22o 
 
 them or not, wliellier you pray or not. Wlien 
 Christ says he is Wisdom, and that all things 
 are mine, I understand that wisdom is mine, 
 and I may seek it. How can I, a poor help- 
 less worm, think to direct the smallest matter 
 in any wisdom of my own ? The poison of 
 death is on everything that was made good and 
 beautiful in its time. 
 
 How often has some evidence of his tender 
 care humbled and brought back the Avandering 
 heart, while the expected chastening has 
 passed by ! There glided in the beam of His 
 sweet compassion. His voice has whispered, 
 "I have not forgotten thou art dust; I Avill. 
 never leave thee, nor forsake thee." 
 
 We fondly prize the expressions of affec- 
 tionate remembrance from a beloved fi-iend in 
 another land — seeds, perhaps, of a foreign 
 flower we are to rear on English ground — a 
 text written out for us — some handicraft of 
 busy fingers, not of much worth in otLers' 
 eyes, and valueless to those who, it may ]je, 
 neither know nor love the beloved one who so 
 fondly remembers us. To us they are treas-
 
 226 THE SECRET OP THE LORD. 
 
 ures. "VVe read tlierein tlie love that designed, 
 and the care that accomplished all for us. 
 How humbling it is to remember, that while 
 the vessel which conveyed the gifts was speed- 
 ing on its way, we were untnie to or forgetful 
 of the giver. But this is fallible love, love 
 that to-morrow may change, which doubt or 
 suspicion may at least have clouded. God's 
 love changes not — it is everlasting. " God is 
 faithful, by whom ye were called unto the fel- 
 lowship of his Son Jesus Christ." You who 
 have proved this testify in your daily walk 
 that you have to do with a living God. All 
 power is given unto him. 
 
 In so far as you keep close company with 
 the King will your conversation declare plain- 
 ly that you seek another country, even a 
 heavenly. He who rejoiced in the habitable 
 parts of the earth, and whose dehghts were 
 with the sons of men, Proverbs viii., rejoices 
 over the new creation now. To all that he 
 has received from the Father he bids wilhng 
 hearts welcome. He longs after that fellow- 
 ship with his people which the evil heart of
 
 TESTEMONT. 227 
 
 unbelief alone prevents the soul born of God 
 fi-om enjoying. 
 
 Why forfeit one hour of lieavenly commun- 
 ion for any earthly mess of pottage, however 
 sweet to nature, — whether the snare come in 
 the form of active work of our own devising, 
 or some meaner pleasm*e over which we are 
 left to wxep bitter tears ? No matter what it 
 is that you have discovered to hide his beauty ; 
 even if it seem laAvful, it must be placed in liis 
 hands. If it is of the flesh, take it to him, 
 and he will consume it, and deliver you. No 
 matter what it be, take it to Jesus. Let no- 
 tliing rob you of jouv joy. He is able to save 
 to the uttermost. He knows how to dehver 
 you out of temptation, so that you may walk 
 with him in the light, cleansed from all sin. 
 
 Have you not experienced circumstances 
 and opportunity leagued against you on ac- 
 count of some besetting sin ? and has he not 
 been faithful and given 3'ou power to cry, 
 "Let me not do this great wickedness and 
 sin against God ? " And he has deUvered 
 you ; and he has made a way of escape, and
 
 228 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 cheered yonr soul with tender sjnnpathy. 
 *' There hath no temptation taken joxi hut 
 such as is common to man : hut God is faith- 
 ful, who will not suffer you to he tempted 
 ahove that ye are able ; hut will with the 
 temptation also make a way to escape, that 
 ye may be able to bear it." 1 Cor. x. 13. 
 
 If you are one with Christ, then you expect 
 to reign with him, to share his glory eternally, 
 and you desire his fellowship he7'e. Have you 
 counted the cost? There are temptations in 
 the wilderness. You may have to watch with 
 him through midnight hours, with no earthly 
 friend to bear you company. On the road 
 there may be Gethsemanes you never di-eamed 
 of. There is the cross, from which there is no 
 escape. Will j^ou turn aside from following 
 Jesus, when he will be the companion of your 
 way ? Will you not in his strength take on 
 you the easy yoke of the will of the Father and 
 learn of him who carried it before you ? 
 
 The simple faith that works by love will 
 keep the bright hope of your calling before 
 you. You will center all yonr delights in
 
 TESTDIONY. 229 
 
 him, and realize liis delight in you. Legal 
 bondage is incompatible with fellowship ; for 
 the fear of the Lord is to hate evil, — not the 
 fear of a slave toward his master, nor of a cul- 
 prit toward his judge ; but the fear of the Lord 
 is strong confidence, and his cliildrcn shall 
 have a place of refuge. 
 
 Fellowship with Jesus lies not alone in plea- 
 surable emotions ; you must learn it in suffer- 
 ing and in service. Have you, out of your full 
 heart's happiness, babbled some of its sweet 
 secrets to one who knows not their precious- 
 ness, and been met by the cautious doubt and 
 scorn of a fellow-traveler? Those who live 
 contented with knowing very little of the Lord, 
 who has laid down his life for them when 
 snemies, Rom. v. 8, will treat the idea of his 
 companionship as a chimera, and the breathing 
 of liis Holy Spirit in the temple of his praise 
 as fanaticism, or as an idle tale. 
 
 Fear not ! You are only learning to walk 
 in a path he has akeady trodden. "When the 
 people said, " Thou hast a devil, and art mad," 
 neither did his brethren believe in him. " Bless«
 
 230 THE SECKET OF THE LOED. 
 
 ed " are ye who are thus reviled, for he has 
 pronounced it. You will press closer to his 
 wounded side, and say, " Thou knowest all 
 things ; thou knowest that I love thee." Let 
 your words be few. The power will live in 
 your life. Christians who are content with 
 externals will not comprehend that divine 
 strength which arises from intercourse with 
 him. But guard it jealously. Amid the storms 
 of earth, it will keep your heart fixed, and 
 yourself at peace, without one desire for those 
 palling pleasures that find a place in the hearts 
 of lukewarm Christians. 
 
 Yet conceal not the fruit of the land, be 
 faithful to the light he has given you, for " to 
 him which hath shall be given." The day may 
 not be distant when others also may long for a 
 better portion ; and though they now despise 
 the pleasant land, and disbelieve the word of 
 the Lord, yet some day they may whisper, 
 " Let us.go up." He who was your shield shall 
 be your exceeding great reward. Fear not ! 
 speak of that good land which the Lord our 
 God doth give us. Oh, tell them of that "land
 
 TESTIMONY. 231 
 
 of brooks of water, of fountains and depths that 
 spring out of valleys and hills." Let them hear 
 that " the Lord thy God he is God, the ^lith- 
 fid God, that keepeth covenant and mercy 
 with them that love him." " For they got not 
 the land in possession by their own sword, 
 neither did their own arm save them : but thy 
 right hand, and thine arm, and the light of thy 
 countenance, because thou hadst a favor unto 
 them." Ps. xliv. 3. 
 
 Think not that in this walk of faith all the 
 trials, and conflicts, and afflictions, of the 
 wilderness have come to an end. The old 
 Adam is not dead, though dying daily ; but 
 his last groan will be the first note of the 
 song of triumph : " Death is swallowed up in 
 victory ! " 
 
 The fruit of sanctification springs from the 
 root of redemption. Love to him who bought 
 us will not wax less fervent if he permits us 
 to learn how sore are the wounds from an evil 
 heart of unbelief. Whether this is taught at 
 conversion, through the first deep waters of 
 conviction, or whether it be by gradual expe-
 
 232 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 rience, may differ witli individuals ; but this 
 spiritual knowledge must be learned here. 
 God knows what is in the heart of man ; but 
 he would have men learn somethinsr of it also. 
 
 The fiery darts of the Wicked One may as- 
 sail the child of God, but " no weapon that is 
 formed against thee shall prosper." Isa. Hv. 17. 
 No difficulty which seems to obstruct his path 
 in heavenly communion, but shall in the end 
 prove how "good is the Lord." Thus we learn 
 that the God of the hills is the God of the val- 
 leys, and the place of weeping becomes the 
 valley of blessing. 
 
 Nothing can supply the place of secret com- 
 munion — deep realized intercourse with the 
 Friend of sinners and the King of saints ! 
 Stint not yourself of this privilege. Neither 
 teaching, nor preaching, nor works ; neither 
 books of devotion, nor communion of saints, 
 can supply this loss. No commentary on his 
 holy Word can bring you the fresh glory of 
 the light he gives direct from himself. It is 
 the bread broken and given by his own hand 
 for your daily sustenance. Meditate upon it,
 
 TESTIMONY. 233 
 
 then will it be 3'our delight, and you will he 
 able to say, " TIow sweet are thy words unto 
 my taste : . . . therefore I esteem all thy pre- 
 cejjts concerning all things to be right." Ps. 
 cxix. He has promised to manifest himself to 
 us, as he doth not unto the world. Shall we 
 not take God at his Avord, and believe in him 
 who has said, " Lo, I am with you alway"? 
 
 As there is deeper anguish than language 
 can express, but which is communicated sym- 
 pathetically, so there are deeper foretastes of 
 the fellowship of Jesus, which is hereafter to 
 satisfy us, than can be told by words. You 
 must yourself taste of the sweetness to under- 
 stand it. But shall any therefore delay enter- 
 ing into the state of rest ? 
 
 Do you ask for a joy that shall never perish ? 
 — a hope that will never wax dim ? Do j'ou 
 sigh for an interest that every day shall in- 
 crease and deepen, and a peace passing all un- 
 derstanding ? Place your hand in the pierced 
 hand of Jesus, and walk with God ; for " truly 
 our fellowship is with the Father, and with 
 his Son Jesus Christ."
 
 234 
 
 THE SECRET OF THE LORD. 
 
 " I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven 
 and earth, because thou hast hid these tilings 
 from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed 
 them unto habes. Even so. Father ; for so it 
 seemed good in thy sight." Matt. xi. 25, 26.
 
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