MORE HAWARDEN HORACE BY THE SAME AUTHOR. THIRD EDITION, small post 8vo. 3s. Qd. THE HAWARDEN HORACE. LONDON : SMITH, ELDER, & CO., 15 Waterloo Place. MORE HAWARDEN HORACE BY CHARLES L. GRAVES WITH AN INTRODUCTION BY T. K PAGE, M.A. LONDON SMITH, ELDER, & CO., 15 WATERLOO PLACE 1896 [All rights reserved] NO TE FOR leave to reprint twelve of the pieces in this volume I am indebted to the courtesy of the editors of the Spectator. The rendering of the Epode, Beatus ille, is from the pen of my friend Mr. E. V. Lucas, to whom I desire to express my gratitude for many helpful suggestions. a L. a 414926 CONTENTS PAGE To THE TANTALLON CASTLE ' 3 To A DEGENERATE ATHLETE . . . . . . 9 To THE SHIP OF STATE 13 To JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN 17 To SAINT DEINIOL 21 To LORD WARKWORTH . 27 To JUSTIN MCCARTHY 31 To JOHN MORLEY 39 To SILOMO 45 To JOHN BURNS 51 To THE NEW WOMEN 61 A PROPHECY 65 To ALFRED AUSTIN 69 To MELPOMENE 81 THE EX-CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER PRAISES THE COUNTRY LIFE . .85 INTRODUCTION FIFTY years ago an apt quotation from the Odes was in English society almost a hall-mark of respectability, and after dinner, if the host produced a magnum of port coasval with himself, the omission of some reference to ' the consul Manlius ' would have seemed positively indecorous. Now, however, even in Parliament, where the tradition of classical quotation had been handed down through a long succession of orators, a classical quotation is rarely heard, and since Mr. Gladstone retired perhaps Sir William Harcourt is the only speaker who, with innate conserva- tism, sometimes forgets that he is addressing a democratic house and amazes his hearers with a fragment of Virgil. As for Horace, since Lord Randolph Churchill pointed a jocular allusion to the magnificence of Mr. W. H. Smith's house in Grosvenor Place with the lines Non ebur neque aureum Mea renidet in domo lacunar MORE HA WARDEN HORACE it is said that he has not been heard at St. Stephen's, and the younger generation of speakers seem studiously to avoid a practice which might remind their audience that they had been flogged at Eton or passed 'smalls' at Oxford. Yet, although respect for popular ignorance has thus banished him from political oratory, perhaps no classical poet is more in touch with life and affairs than Horace. He has nothing of the recluse about him ; he saw all that was best in Roman society ; he knew all the chief men of his day ; his great friend and patron was the first minister of the state ; he was on terms of close intimacy with the emperor, the poet-laureate of his triumphs abroad and the authorised defender of his policy at home. The panorama of Roman life passes daily under his eyes and is reflected in his writings. In its social, literary, and poli- tical aspects he notes it all. From the purity of Barine's finger-nails to Augustus establishing a world-wide empire nothing escapes him. He has a word to say about every- thing and everybody. His wise maxims and philosophic reflections are invariably pointed and driven home by being referred to the conduct of living men and women to Asterie, whose conduct as ' a grass-widow ' is not above suspicion, or Neobule, who chafes against old pre- judices which still hamper ' the new woman ; ' to the INTRODUCTION philosophic Iccius, who leaves his books to join a gold- raid into Arabia, or the aged millionaire who ' forgetful of the tomb ' is rearing a palace on the shore of Baise. It is this wealth of personal and local allusions which has helped to make the literal translation of the Odes an impossibility. The proper names which occur so fre- quently in them have ceased, after twenty centuries, to pro- duce any sense of vividness and reality, and serve rather as a perpetual reminder that we are dealing with a bygone world. For example, in eight lines of Mr. Gladstone's translation there occur the words 'Bosporus,' 'Icarian,' 'Syrtes,' 'Boreas,' ' Dacia,' 'Rome,' 'Colchian,' 'Gelo- nian,' 'Spain,' and 'Rhone,' and obviously it is beyond the power of any poetic skill to weave such materials into two lyric stanzas which shall present any attrac- tion to an English reader. The consequence is that of those Odes which are, perhaps, especially Horatian because especially allusive, there is not a single rendering which is easy, natural, and attractive, while even in Odes of a more general character the occasional references to a forgotten past still jar upon the ear ; and any one who turns to Dryden's brilliant paraphrase of iii. 29 and looks at such a stanza as Thou what befits the new Lord Mayor, And what the city factions dare, xii MORE H AWARD EN HORACE And what the Gallic arms will do, And what the quiver-bearing foe, Art anxiously inquisitive to know, will see how strongly his poetic judgment presses him to evade them. No argument, however, will have any effect upon translators of Horace, nor does the failure of a long series of scholars, statesmen, and poets since the days of the Earl of Surrey and Sir Philip Sidney in any way deter them. Felices errore suo they dream of immortality, and within the last four years Wales, Ireland, and the United States have each sent forth a volume which bears equal testimony to the fascination of Horace's verse and to the peculiar difficulty of reproducing it. None the less, although their perpetual references to men whose memory is cherished by few but schoolmasters must mar the effect of any exact rendering of the Odes, still the Odes themselves are in form and finish so unique, the sense is so lovingly wedded to the words, and the words to the rhythm, that they irresistibly adhere to the memory and attract imitation. They are the models which, should some lyric theme be suggested, naturally present themselves to the mind, and, as Horace does not hesitate himself to borrow the shape and substance of many Odes from the Greek lyrists, so he has in turn afforded material to a host of imitators who from the INTRODUCTION time of Andrew Marvell have produced Horatian Odes, more or less resembling the original, in which they have endeavoured to illustrate with * modern instances ' those 'wise saws' which delighted antiquity. Of course in the case of some Odes, such as the great Roman-Odes in Book iii., which deal with large political questions, such an adaptation of them is undesirable, for where a poem deals seriously with matters of historic interest it does not admit of resetting. But when an Ode is addressed to some individual whose personal affairs give point to its reflections, then surely, when centuries afterwards some other individual is in like circumstances, there can be no objection to transferring its application from the unknown ancient to the familiar modern. Nay, rather the old poem does not lose but gain by being thus brought before us in a newer and more living shape, as any one will see at once if he will read what Macaulay calls the ' pleasing imitation ' of Otium Divos rogat which was penned by Warren Hastings on his voyage from Bengal in 1 785. The verses of Hastings are not on a par with the verses of Horace, and yet, somehow, after reading them the Latin seems to stand out with a clearer meaning, the old phrases live with a new life. But it may, perhaps, be urged that while a moder- nised imitation of the Odes, such as that of Hastings, is xiv MORE HA WARDEN HORACE legitimate because it represents genuine and earnest feeling, yet to employ them as a vehicle for political satire is an unjust perversion of their spirit. Such an objection, however, rests on an estimate of their cha- racter which is very general but very imperfect. The large majority of the Odes nearly all in fact which were not written ' by command ' are certainly not serious, but exhibit that light, sportive, bantering tone which is characteristic of the writer, and it is the non- recognition of this fact which helps to make so many versions of them painfully insipid. The Epodes, indeed, which are Horace's first effort in lyric verse, are pro- fessedly ' lampoons ' (iambi), modelled in shape, but not in spirit, on the stinging invectives of Archilochus. Their publication was followed by the Sermones, in which the poet pursues the same line, lightly satirising the foibles and follies of his contemporaries with the wit but without the scurrilousness of Lucilius. Throughout the Odes, as might be expected, the same golden vein of humour runs, though for the most part less on the surface and at a deeper level. In them Horace takes as his chief models Sappho and Alcaeus, but it is Sappho without the burning passion, and Alcseus without the political ani- mosity. He addresses Pyrrha, Chloe, and a dozen others in verses as graceful as they are unsubstantial, and in INTRODUCTION which there is an ounce of wit to a pennyweight of earnestness. When he writes to public men he positively refuses to be serious ; he deprecates the heroic mood, and in Odes such as those to Maecenas (i. i ; i. 20 ; iii. 7), Lamia, Muraena, Corvinus, Iccius, Plancus, and the like, the tone is above all light, cheery, and genial. He does not claim inspiration, and is not a Pindar ; he is content to please and charm his fellow-countrymen by reproducing in ' Italian measures ' and with Roman scenery the lighter lyrics of Greece. An imitator himself and a humorist, so far from resenting a kindly parody of his verses one may well imagine that if there is any satisfaction in the Shades he learns with pleasure how, even among the 'barbarous' and 'remote Britons,' he is still so well known that such a work can secure readers and even popularity. If, however, it is a crime, as some hold it, to imitate or parody Horace for modern readers, Horace himself must largely bear the burden of guilt. The Odes are too tempting. They run so in the head ; they fit them- selves so vivaciously to a hundred circumstances ; they epitomise so happily what we should wish ourselves to say, that to any one with a taste for verse-making they are irresistible. Herrick, Congreve, and Chatterton, Swift and Bentley, Person, Cowper, Tom Hood and XVI MORE HA WARDEN HORACE Thackeray, have all yielded to the allurement. The pages of ' The Gentleman's Magazine ' show that in the last century the practice was fashionable, while at the beginning of this, James and Horace Smith, the popular authors of 'Rejected Addresses,' issued a volume of imitations entitled ' Horace in London ' which was warmly welcomed, even though Scotch impatience of a joke exposed the authors to the stern criticism of Edin- burgh Reviewers. 1 But, although it is for the light treatment of social topics that the Odes most readily suggest themselves, yet perhaps in reality it is to the observer of public life and public men that they best lend their aid. Horace's temper is exactly suited to the amiable criticism of political warfare. Had he lived to-day, the poverty which ' drove him to make verses ' would have driven him into journalism, and he would have written an in- comparable ' London Letter,' or possibly have been editor of * Punch.' He would certainly have been more in touch with ' actuality ' than the distinguished 1 See the imitation of i. 1 6 beginning O rigorous sons of a clime more severe, If Horace in London offend, Unbought let him perish, unread disappear, But, ah ! do not hasten his end. INTRODUCTION xvii scholar who after reading ' The Hawarden Horace ' wrote to ask Mr. Graves what was 'the meaning of the term " Tay Pay " and the point of its application to Lord Rosebery.' As it was, the liberality of a patron furnished him with the leisure to compose works which in their polished elegance afford a permanent pattern to all writers of contemporary criticism. He knew men and saw life during troubled and dangerous days ; he read much and meditated much, and he had thus acquired the rarest of arts the art of writing about living persons in a manner at once wise, witty, and without offence. There is not a grain of malice about him ; for the clever- ness which does not ' love to play ' but ' wound ' he has no tolerance. The satirist who means to sting is a blackguard and to be shunned : Hie niger est, hunc, tu^ Roniane, caveto. Nothing would tempt him into an ill-natured joke ; he does not ' court the broad laughter of the world and the reputation of smartness,' but he writes to amuse men of taste, education, and good feeling. Of political satire written in his spirit the world will never have too much. Perhaps, indeed, a little more Horatian humour might moderate the acerbity and relieve the dulness which modern politics seem inclined to generate. The states- MORE H AWARD EN HORACE man, in any case, who shrinks from being sketched with an Horatian pen must be sadly wanting in taste and scholar- ship. But happily these qualities have not yet dis- appeared from British parliaments. The new and the old are not yet wholly severed in life or in letters, and echoes from the Classics linger even to-day about the Front Benches. The past has still its kinship with the present, the Augustan age with the Victorian ; it is still permissible to suggest how * with lighter quill ' the wittiest critic of the one epoch might have sung the politics of the other what Horace might have thought could he have exchanged the Via Sacra for Piccadilly, and instead of ' upheaving clods ' among the Sabines had laid trees low at Hawarden. T. E. P. MORE HAWARDEN HORACE AD NAVEM Sic te diva potens Cypri, Sic fratres Helenae, lucida sidera, Ventorumque regat pater Obstrictis aliis praeter lapyga, Navis, quae tibi creditum Debes Vergilium, finibus Atticis Reddas incolumem, precor, Et serves animae dimidium meae. Illi robur et aes triplex Circa pectus erat, qui fragilem truci Commisit pelago ratem Primus, nee timuit praecipitem Africum TO THE < TANTALLON CASTLE ' O CHICKENS of our kindly Mother Carey, O cherub sweet that sittest up aloft, Restrain, I pray, within their cavern airy All winds but those that are serene and soft : That so a mild melodious obbligato Of murmuring Zephyrs swift upon its way May speed the ship that bears the great Barnato From Albion's shores to distant Table Bay. The man who first on South Sea speculation Embarked, O Barney, surely must have had A nerve like his who saved the situation When Kaffir stocks went slumping down like mad AD NAVEM Decertantem Aquilonibus Nee tristes Hyadas nee rabiem Noti, Quo non arbiter Hadriae Mai or, tollere seu ponere vult freta. Quern Mortis timuit gradum, Qui siccis oculis monstra natantia, Qui vidit mare turgidum et Infames scopulos Acroceraunia ? Nequicquam deus abscidit Prudens Oceano dissociabili Terras, si tamen impiae Non tangenda rates transiliunt vada. Audax omnia perpeti Gens humana ruit per vetitum nefas. TO THE 1 TANTALLON CASTLE Who ' faced the music ' with a simple tankard, Defied the captious questions of the crank, And quelled the storm of critics cross and cankered Who raged and raved and blustered round his Bank. He who pursues his course with mien unflinching, 'Mid all the ' deeps ' and reefs within the Rand, Despises dynamite and laughs at lynching Though Sharks, Bulls, Bears, and Boers around him stand. O vainly Heav'n, to save mankind from worry, Has severed shore from shore by perilous ways, If the unconscionable Donald Currie Can take you to the Cape in eighteen days ! Presumptuous man, unriddling ev'ry rebus, Rides roughshod to his goal with impious joy; AD NAVEM Audax lapeti genus Ignem fraude mala gentibus intulit. Post ignem aetheria domo Subductum macies et nova febrium Terris incubuit cohors, Semotique prius tarda necessitas Leti corripuit gradum. Expertus vacuum Daedalus aera Pennis non homini datis ; Perrupit Acheronta Herculeus labor. Nil mortalibus ardui est ; Caelum ipsum petimus stultitia neque Per nostrum patimur scelus Iracunda lovem ponere fulmina. TO THE 'TANTALLON CASTLE Purloins the special spectacles of Phcebus, And turns the lightning to an errand-boy. Yet ev'ry day, in fitting retribution, Some new bacillus rears its hideous head, And Death, by Maxims and electrocution, Hastens its slow inevitable tread. Herr Lilienthal, dull earth on pinions spurning, Has flown four hundred yards, adventurous soul ; While Nansen, hardy Norseman, is returning In triumph from his conquest of the Pole. Forlornest hopes are now the most inviting ; Each cradle holds a future Captain Kidd ; Nor will balloonatics refrain from slighting The menace of the meteor of Madrid. AD LYDIAM LYDIA, die, per omnes Te deos oro, Sybarin cur properes amando Perdere, cur apricum Oderit Campum, patiens pulveris atque solis, Cur neque militaris Inter aequales equitet, Gallica nee lupatis Temperet ora frenis ? Cur timet flavum Tiberim tangere ? Cur olivum TO A DEGENERATE ATHLETE O JEALOUS Primrose Dames, why seek to sever My nephew Alfred from his early loves, The finest Cambridge cricketer who ever Put on the gloves ? No more with brawny hands that once could beggar The power of Paderewski's (when he thumps), We see him, out-MacGregoring MacGregor, Behind the stumps. At tennis too, whose science was completer, Whose ' force ' was deadlier, whose ' cut ' more keen? (He plays at tennis still, I'm told, but ' Peter ' Gives him fifteen.) io AD LYDIAM Sanguine viperino Cautius vitat. neque iam livida gestat armis Brachia, saepe disco, Saepe trans finem iaculo nobilis expedite ? Quid latet, ut marinae Filium dicunt Thetidis sub lacrimosa Troiae Funera, ne virilis Cultus in caedem et Lycias proriperet catervas ? TO A DEGENERATE ATHLETE n Little he recked of old impavid swiper ! Though sprains and bruises might his beauty spoil : But now he loathes, like venom from a viper, Saint Jacob's Oil. Now, worst of all, like Samson 'mid the aliens, To Unionist Delilahs he affords Delight, instead of aiding the Australians To lose at Lord's. 12 AD REMPUBLICAM O NAVIS, referent in mare te novi Fluctus ! O quid agis ? Fortiter occupa Portum ! Nonne vides, lit Nudum remigio latus, Et malus celeri saucius Africo, Antennaeque gemant, ac sine funibus Vix durare carinae Possint imperiosius TO THE SHIP OF STATE O SHIP of State, on perilous seas anew Forth faring with a filibustering crew, Why distant danger court, When it were better policy to occupy the Porte ? Dost thou not see thy shattered spars, thy masts Bending beneath the furious Afric blasts? Thy 'booms ' all turned to 'slumps,' Thy stout Newcastle planks uncalked, and all hands at the pumps ? 14 AD REMPUBLICAM Aequor ? Non tibi sunt Integra lintea ; Non di, quos iterum pressa voces malo. Quamvis Pontica pinus, Silvae filia nobilis, lactes et genus et nomen inutile ; Nil pictis timidus navita puppibus Fidit. Tu, nisi ventis Debes ludibrium, cave. Nuper sollicitum quae mihi taedium, Nunc desiderium curaque non levis, Interfusa nitentes Vites aequora Cycladas. TO THE SHIP OF STATE In vain, with every sail to ribbons torn, Wouldst thou recall thy Pilot heaven-born ; In vain thy captain tells Of Flying Squadrons and of threats to force the Dardanelles. What confidence can storm-tossed sailors feel In ' laths ' though ' painted to resemble steel ' ? O ease her, stop her, Joe ! Those plaguy * pushful ' ways of his do aggravate me so ! Of old to me thou wast a weary weight, A source of anguish and regret of late ; O trust not Austin's odes, But shun the fatal gold reefs in the neighbourhood of Rhodes. i6 AD ICCIUM Icci, beatis nunc Arabum invides Gazis, et acrem militiam paras Non ante devictis Sabaeae Regibus, horribilique Medo Nectis catenas ? Quae tibi virginum Sponso necato barbara serviet ? Puer quis ex aula capillis Ad cyathum statuetur unctis, 17 TO JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN O JOSEPH, since the treasures of Ashanti, When Prempeh came to ignominious smash, Have proved, I fear, too ludicrously scanty To gratify your passion for a splash Think you the coffers of Khartoum are fuller, The Dervishes more rich in golden gains, That you approve of sending Redvers Buller To hale the horrid Mahdi home in chains ? Will you engage at the Colonial Office, To sweep the floors, some widow of Lo Ben, Or plant a sable scion of King Coffee's To guard the door of Jesse Collings' den ? c 1 8 AD ICC1UM Doctus sagittas tendere Sericas Arcu paterno ? Quis neget arduis Pronos relabi posse rivos Montibus et Tiberirn reverti, Cum tu coemptos undique nobilis Libros Panaeti Socraticam et domum Mutare loricis Hiberis, Pollicitus meliora, tendis ? TO JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN 19 And will you fetch, from over the equator, Swart aboriginals, a brawny gang, Who, should Silomo brand you as a traitor, Will floor him with a well-aimed boomerang ? O say not miracles are past and over, When you, the budding tribune of the plebs, 'Mid Dukes and Duchesses are quite in clover (Strange that the flowing tide so often ebbs !) When you, once steeped in socialistic stingo, Now sinning wilfully against the light, Embrace the maxims of the jumping Jingo And scout the school of Manchester and Bright ! c 2 20 AD APOLLINEM QUID dedicatum poscit Apollinem Vates ? quid orat, de patera novuni Fundens liquorem ? Non opimae Sardiniae segetes feraces, Non aestuosae grata Calabriae Armenta, non aurum aut ebur Indicum, Non rura, quae Liris quieta Mordet aqua taciturnus amnis. 21 TO SAINT DEINIOL GOOD Deiniol, long ago To keep your memory green I thought of forming This library, and lo ! Behold me drinking at your temple-warming. If then you wish to testify your gratitude, Let me define my wants in their extremest latitude. I crave not Britain's beeves, Nor yet New Zealand's admirable mutton : For rich Columbia's sheaves I do not care one solitary button : Nor should I feel the very faintest pleasure In ' mopping up the Transvaal ' and its golden treasure. 22 AD APOLLINEM Premant Galena fake, quibus dedit Fortuna, vitem ; dives et aureis Mercator exsiccet culullis Vina Syra reparata merce, Dis cams ipsis, quippe ter et quater Anno revisens aequor Atlanticum Impune. Me pascunt olivae, Me cichorea levesque malvae. TO SAINT DEINIOL 23 I covet not the land Trellised by rich Oporto's purple clusters : I would not ' jump the Rand,' Backed by a troop of brawny filibusters : Nor do I think it very greatly matters Whether I dine off golden plate or simple wooden platters. Let others scour the seas In gorgeous pleasure yacht or swift Cunarder : Content with bread and cheese No costly tax I levy on my larder : Preferring simple salads of tomato To all the sumptuous banquets of the great Barnato. 24 AD APOLLINEM Frui paratis et valido mihi, Latoe, dones, et precor Integra Cum mente ; nee turpem senectam Degere, nee cithara carentem. TO SAINT DEINIOL 25 Give me but strength to chew Each mouthful two and thirty times precisely Read Dante through and through, And I shall hold that I am doing nicely, Breathing a pure, bucolic, bland, Virgiljan air Untasted by your squalid, striving, scheming, modern millionaire. 25 AD MINISTRUM PERSICOS odi, puer, apparatus, Displicent nexae philyra coronae ; Mitte sectari, rosa quo locorum Sera moretur. Simplici myrto nihil allabores Sedulus euro : neque te ministrum TO LORD WARKWORTH THOUGH the pomp and parade of the Percys I never could wholly abide, Nor those strawberry leaves rarely sported, alas ! on the Liberal side Still it pains me acutely to see you, a youth of such promise and power, Given o'er to the cult of the primrose, an utterly obsolete flower. Now, if you're in search of an emblem sufficiently simple and neat, With the dear little delicate shamrock there's nothing on earth to compete : 28 AD MINI STRUM Dedecet myrtus neque me sub arta Vite bibentem. TO LORD WARKWORTH 29 I've a clump of it growing at Hawarden, so come any day that you're free. P.S. If it's fine, in the garden you'll find us at five o'clock tea. AD POLLIONEM MOTUM ex Metello consule civicum Bellique causas et vitia et modos Ludumque Fortunae gravesque Principum amicitias et arma Nondum expiatis uncta cruoribus, Periculosae plenum opus aleae, Tractas et incedis per ignes Suppositos cineri doloso. TO JUSTIN MCCARTHY 'Tis no milk-and-water fable to beguile a small tea-table That you've lately undertaken to complete, But a tragedy arising from the fraud of Pitt's devising, Full of devilry and danger and deceit. You must tell of Leagues and leaders, of Rotunda- room seceders, Of the buckshot and the bludgeons of the Crown : And the risk you run is greater than of dancing on a crater, If you're minded to * Remember Mitchelstown ! ' 32 AD POLLIONEM Paullum severae Musa tragoediae Desit theatris : mox ubi publicas Res ordinaris, grande munus Cecropio repetes cothurno, Insigne maestis praesidium reis Et consulenti, Pollio, curiae, Cui laurus aeternos honores Delmatico peperit triumpho. lam nunc minaci murmure cornuum Perstringis aures, iam litui strepunt, lam fulgor armorum fugaces Terret equos equitumque vultus. TO JUSTIN MCCARTHY 33 For a while I fear to fiction you must bid a valediction, But once you've told the tale of ' Our Own Times,' Told it fearlessly and bluntly, you'll embark with Justin Huntly On the merriest of modern pantomimes. You'll be missed, my dear McCarthy, in the Councils of the Party ; They'll regret you when the wigs are on the green ; For you earned unfading laurels by composing endless quarrels As the Chairman of Committee Room Fifteen. My prophetic soul can image your description of each scrimmage, Hear the pipers playing patriotic tunes ; Mark the stout shillelagh flatten the constabulary baton And the peasantry dispersing the dragoons ! D 34 AD POLLIONEM Audire magnos iam videor duces Non indecoro pulvere sordidos, Et cuncta terrarum subacta Praeter atrocem animum Catonis. luno et deorum quisquis amicior Afris inulta cesserat impotens Tellure victorum nepotes Rettulit inferias lugurthae. Quis non Latino sanguine pinguior Campus sepulcris impia proelia Testatur auditumque Medis Hesperiae sonitum ruinae ? TO JUSTIN MCCARTHY 35 I can hear the chiefs haranguing and the brutal carbines banging, See the hero all distrousered in his cell, And observe with admiration the majestic isolation, The indomitable spirit of Parnell. O 'twas cruel the Coercion, cruel too the swift desertion Of her crownless chief by Erin, fickle fair, Doomed to expiate her error 'neath a reign of Tim and terror With a ' melancholy humbug ' in the Chair. Where's the spot in all Great Britain which no fierce Kilkenny kitten Has empurpled with its sanguinary trail ? Where's the parish so sequestered that its peace was never pestered By the fratricidal faction of the Gael ? D 2 3 6 AD POLLIONEM Qui gurges aut quae flumina lugubris Ignara belli ? quod mare Dauniae Non decoloravere caedes ? Quae caret ora cruore nostro ? Sed ne relictis, Musa procax, iocis Ceae retractes munera neniae, Mecum Dionaeo sub antro Quaere modes leviore plectro. TO JUSTIN MCCARTHY 37 In what borough or division did our cause escape de- rision In the lamentable rout of yesteryear ? Where, alas ! was soda-water not synonymous with slaughter In the battle with the bigotry of beer ? But a truce to themes so fearful, so disconsolate and tearful : Bidding Butler a benevolent good-bye, To the Halls of the Alsatians, where Cecilia's imitations Move the gaiety of nations, let us hie. AD POMPEIUM O SAEPE mecum tempus in ultimum Deducte Bruto militiae duce, Quis te redonavit Quiritem Dis patriis Italoque caelo, Pompei, meorum prime sodalium ? Cum quo morantem saepe diem mero Fregi coronatus nitentes Malobathro Syrio capillos. 39 TO JOHN MO RLE Y MY excellent John Morley, full often at my side By foes belaboured sorely, by fickle fortune tried, I can't express the rapture it causes me to see Your efforts to recapture the title of M.P. With you, the most consistent of all my trusty crew, In days now dim and distant, how swift the moments flew, What time we went pursuing the wild Hibernian goose, Or sat together stewing serenely in its juice ! 40 AD POMPEIUM Tecum Philippos et celerem fugam Sensi relicta non bene parmula, Cum fracta virtus et minaces Turpe solum tetigere mento. Sed me per hostes Mercurius celer Denso paventem sustulit acre ; Te rursus in bellum resorbens Unda fretis tulit aestuosis. Ergo obligatam redde lovi dapem Longaque fessum militia latus Depone sub lauru mea nee Parce cadis tibi destinatis. TO JOHN MORLEY 41 With you and mild Mundella I faced the dread cyclone When my superb umbrella clean inside out was blown, When chiefs renowned in story betrayed their sacred trust, Turned timorously Tory or vilely bit the dust. But Fate's resistless firmans at length ordained that I Should edit Butler's Sermons and bid the House good- bye : For now the tide is shifting ; it flows, alas ! no more ; And you are seaward drifting, while I am safe on shore. As soon as you are able, with me you'll come and dine, Refreshing at my table your war-worn frame with wine, Where, heedless of the censure of Lawson or of Caine, We'll toast your valiant venture in bumpers of cham-j pagne. 42 AD POMPEIUM Oblivioso levia Massico Ciboria exple ; funde capacibus Unguenta de conchis. Quis udo Deproperare apio coronas Curatve myrto ? Quern Venus arbitrum Dicet bibendi ? Non ego sanius Bacchabor Edonis : recepto Dulce mini furere est amico. TO JOHN MO RLE Y 43 Johannisberg, my jo, John, a tipple fit for kings, Shall in your honour flow, John, and lend our fancy wings : Or if in Scottish whisky dull care you'd rather drown, Glenlivet, fine and frisky, our flowing cups shall crown. Then, as we wet our whistle with draughts of ' comet ' port, You'll wreathe your brows with thistle, while I the sham- rock sport. ' Conspicuous moderation ' for once I bid begone When Scotland, noble nation, ' returns ' our Honest John. 44 AD VALGIUM NON semper imbres nubibus hispidos Manant in agros aut mare Caspium Vexant inaequales procellae Usque, nee Armeniis in oris, Amice Valgi, stat glacies iners Menses per omnes aut Aquilonibus Querceta Gargani laborant Et foliis viduantur orni : 45 TO SILOMO NOT always, O Silomo, upon the Polish coast Or on the Lake of Como, do Cossacks rule the roast ; Nor, though your Sheffield bruisers would have it so, can we Be always sending cruisers to scour the Caspian Sea. The fierce Armenian peasant, cowed by your burning words, Is not employed at present in butchering the Kurds : Nor does the Russian blizzard unceasingly assail The Turkey's gentle gizzard, the Lion's tender tail. 46 AD VALGIUM Tu semper urges flebilibus modis Mysten ademptum, nee tibi Vespero Surgente decedunt amores Nee rapidum fugiente solem. At non ter aevo functus amabilem Ploravit omnes Antilochum senex Annos, nee impubem parentes Troilon aut Phrygiae sorores Flevere semper. Desine mollium Tandem querelarum, et potius nova Cantemus August! tropaea Caesaris et rigidum Niphaten, TO SILOMO 47 But you, in deep dejection nursing your sleepless grief, Bereft of the affection of your ungrateful chief, Nor when the West is flushing nor at the Daystar's wane Desist from dreams of crushing the House of Chamber- lain. For sorrow so stupendous, for agony so fell, The works of Homer lend us no proper parallel : Why I, though tender-hearted, long since have wept my fill Over my dear departed Disintegration Bill ! Come, drop these dismal dirges, and jubilantly raise Your voice, like Boanerges, in holy Abdul's praise ; Or with exultant gambols extol the precious boon Accruing from the shambles of Urfa and Sassoun. 48 AD VALGIUM Medumque flumen gentibus additum Victis minores volvere vertices, Intraque praescriptum Gelonos Exiguis equitare campis. TO SILOMO 49 Euphrates, lo ! already abates his swollen tide, And owns in every eddy the Sultan for his guide ; While, 'neath benignant bevies of Mussulman police, The savage Christian levies are forced to keep the peace. AD INDOCTOS ODI profanum vulgus et arceo : Favete linguis : carmina non prius Audita Musarum sacerdos Virginibus puerisque canto. Regum timendorum in proprios greges, Reges in ipsos imperium est lovis Clari Giganteo triumpho, Cuncta supercilio moventis. TO JOHN BURNS AVAUNT awhile, ye masses, for whom I've laboured long, Unto the upper classes I chant my latest song : The lore of Mrs. Beeton may satisfy the churl ; /sing for boys at Eton, and for the Girton girl. Great Cavendish and Cecil rule o'er their lesser fry, Yet fall, without a wrestle, before Joe's glittering eye Joe, whom the great Colossus himself could not with- stand ; Joe who intends to ' boss ' us and regulate the Rand. E 2 52 AD INDOCTOS Est ut viro vir latius ordinet Arbusta sulcis, hie generosior Descendat in Campum petitor, Moribus hie meliorque fama Contendat, illi turba clientium Sit maior : aequa lege Necessitas Sortitur insignes et imos, Omne capax movet urna nomen. Destrictus ensis cui super impia Cervice pendet, non Siculae dapes Dulcem elaborabunt saporem, Non avium citharaeque cantus TO JOHN BURNS 53 Grant that in birth and acres A has the pull of B Whose ancestors were bakers and so becomes M.P. ; That C is in the peerage at least appears in * Dod - While D has travelled steerage, or borne the humble hod- Yet after all what matters a mortal's social sphere ? Before the tramp in tatters, the detrimental peer, Though long or short their tether, one goal in common lies; And we shall all together stand at the Last Assize. No cookery Parisian can any peace afford To Abdul from the vision of Retribution's sword : Vain are the songs of Houris, vain is the Bulbul's note, When Hell's avenging Furies have gripped him by the throat. 54 AD INDOCTOS Somnum reducent. Somnus agrestium Lenis virorum non humiles domos Fastidit umbrosamque ripam, Non Zephyris agitata Tempe. Desiderantem quod satis est neque Tumultuosum sollicitat mare, Nee saevus Arcturi cadentis Impetus aut orientis Haedi, Non verberatae grandine vineae Fundusque mendax, arbore nunc aquas Culpante, nunc torrentia agros Sidera, nunc hiemes iniquas. TO JOHN BURNS 55 Sleep that removes our burdens and ' knits up ravelled ' care May not frequent The Durdans or visit Berkeley Square : But many a starving yokel, stretched on his cabin floor, Will make the darkness vocal with his melodious snore. He who is never craving, like Oliver, for more, Heeds not the tempest raving upon the rocky shore Heeds not the fluctuations of stocks or mining shares, Nor yet the operations of either ' Bulls ' or * Bears.' Though aerolites should ravage his orchids and his vines, He never waxes savage, he neither storms nor whines ; Though crops for rain be thirsting, though fruit un- ripened fall, Though water-pipes be bursting, like Job he bears it all. 56 AD INDOCTOS Contracta pisces aequora sentiunt lactis in altum molibus : hue frequens Caementa demittit redemptor Cum famulis dominusque terrae Fastidiosus. Sed Timor et Minae Scandunt eodem, quo dominus, neque Decedit aerata triremi et Post equitem sedet atra Cura. Quodsi dolentem nee Phrygius lapis Nee purpurarum sidere clarior Delenit usus nee Falerna Vitis Achaemeniumque costum, TO JOHN BURNS 57 Some take a pride in building enormous piers that scare, With bands and paint and gilding, the finny folk else- where ; Turning, O vile vagary, each strip of sand and foam To London-super-Mare wherever we may roam ! No matter how notorious your lot in life may be, From cavillers censorious you never shall go free : They call the Kaiser crazy, deny Dunraven's right, And blacken like a Swazi good Ashmead-Bartlett, Knight. The gems of Monte Cristo, the longest purse on earth, The winnings of * Sir Visto,' the richest robes of Worth, The soap of Pears and Cleaver, the wines of all Cham- pagne, Can't mitigate the fever of one distempered brain. 58 AD INDOCTOS Cur invidendis postibus et novo Sublime ritu moliar atrium ? Cur valle permutem Sabina Divitias operosiores ? TO JOHN BURNS 59 Why should I build like * Barney ' a palace in Park Lane, When Blarney and Killarney unvisited remain ? Ill were my leisure bartered, did I, in life's decline, For millions in the Chartered my rural home resign. 6o AD NEOBULEN MISERARUM est neque amori dare ludum neque dulci Mala vino lavere, aut exanimari metuentes Patruae verbera linguae. Tibi qualum Cythereae puer ales, tibi telas Operosaeque Minervae studium aufert, Neobule, Liparaei nitor Hebri, TO THE NEW WOMEN O YE maids who carp at Cupid and indignantly complain Should a butler smug and stupid offer you a sweet champagne ; Tell me honestly and truly, are you never shocked or stung By the ridicule unruly of an aged uncle's tongue ? I've a little friend at Girton, in Latinity immersed, Whom her coach considered certain of a very brilliant ' first ; ' For the classics once she clamoured, on digamma doted once ; Now she's hopelessly enamoured of an athlete and a dunce. 62 AD NEOBULEN Simul unctos Tiberinis humeros lavit in undis, Eques ipso melior Bellerophonte, neque pugno Neque segni pede victus ; Catus idem per apertum fugientes agitato .Grege cervos iaculari et celer alto latitantem Fruticeto excipere aprum. TO THE NEW WOMEN 63 He's a demon of a diver ; rides inexorably straight ; And manipulates his ' driver ' like a Taylor or a Tait. As a runner with the fleetest of professionals he copes, And his slogging is the sweetest ever seen within the ropes. If there's any sort of slaughter to be dexterously done, On the moor or on the water, with the rod or with the gun, None can boast an aim so peerless, none a bag that's half as big, None displays a nerve so fearless at the sticking of the 6 4 AD MELPOMENEN 1 EXEGI monumentum acre perennius, Regalique situ pyramidum altius ; Quod non imber edax, non Aquilo impotens Possit diruere, aut innumerabilis Annorum series et fuga temporum. Non omnis moriar, multaque pars mei Vitabit Libitinam. Usque ego postera A PROPHECY THOUGH my monument is builded not of marble nor of brass, 'Twill outshine good Albert's statue, -'Eiffel's pinnacle surpass. Never may the rains assail it, blizzards round about it rage, In imperishable splendour lasting on from age to age. For so long as Mr. Speaker, ushered by the silent mace, Stalks with stately ceremonial to his high appointed place, Though my venerable figure shall have vanished from the scene, 66 AD MELPOMENEN Crescam laude recens, dum Capitolium Scandet cum tacita virgine pontifex. Dicar qua violens obstrepit Aufidus Et qua pauper aquae Daunus agrestium Regnavit populorum, ex humili potens, Princeps Aeolium carmen ad Italos Deduxisse modos. Sume superbiam Quaesitam meritis, et mihi Delphica Lauro cinge volens, Melpomene, comani. A PROPHECY 67 Part of me will never vanish : ever will my fame be green. By the margin of the Mersey, in the distant isle of Skye, Where the Caledonian crofter drinks neat whisky when he's dry, Men shall hail me as the Premier who, by intuition led, To the crownless harp of Erin English measures sought to wed. Fear not then, O Muse of Tara, to exuberate with me, Our unique collaboration justifies a jubilee : Nor omit to crown your champion, in the evening of his days, Lord of Dodonaean diction, with a wreath of Delphic bays. F 2 68 AD IULUM ANTONIUM PINDARUM quisquis studet aemulari, lule, ceratis ope Daedalea Nititur pennis, vitreo daturus Nomina ponto. Monte decurrens velut amnis, imbres Quern super notas aluere ripas, Fervet immensusque ruit profundo Pindarus ore, 6 9 TO ALFRED AUSTIN IF the fatal fall that ended silly Icarus you'd shun, Who on waxen wings depended when he fluttered towards the sun ; Let not vanity inveigle you to soar unduly high, Nor essay to ape the eagle on the pinions of the Pye. Like a mountain torrent leaping high above its banks in spate, Lo ! great Alfred grandly sweeping onward with resistless gait; In sonorous closes rounding many a swift trochaic line, Master of the ' long-resounding march, the energy divine.' 70 AD IULUM ANTONIUM Laurea donandus Apollinari, Seu per audaces nova dithyrambos Verba devolvit numerisque fertur Lege solutis ; Seu decs regesque canit, deorum Sanguinem, per quos cecidere iusta Morte Centauri, cecidit tremendae Flamma Chimaerae ; Sive quos Elea domum reducit Palma caelestes, pugilemve equumve TO ALFRED AUSTIN 71 Hard it is I ween to follow as the wearer of the bays Such a favourite of Apollo, maker of undying lays, Who in moments of expansion metric innovations tried, And the rigid rules of scansion irreproachably defied. Heroes of the olden ages ' England's darlings ' shall we say? Blazoned in his golden pages, hold destroying Time at bay : Good Sir Richard, spent and shattered, grappling with the dogs of Spain, And the Iron Duke who battered Boney on the Belgian plain. Or in words that glow like lava hear him laud no reckless raid, But the charge of Balaklava, glory of the Light Brigade 72 AD IULUM ANTONIUM Dicitet centum potiore signis Munere donat ; Flebili sponsae iuvenemve raptum Plorat et vires animumque moresque Aureos educit in astra nigroque Invidet Oreo. Multa Dircaeum levat aura cycnum, Tendit, Antoni, quotiens in altos Nubium tractus. Ego apis Matinae More modoque, TO ALFRED AUSTIN 73 Words that our remotest scions shall triumphantly repeat, When the bronze of Landseer's lions lies in dust beneath their feet. Sadder strains anon awaking, Arden's tragic tale he told Arden gloriously forsaking wife and child, and hearth grown cold Or, to heights majestic rising, on his friend's untimely bier Laid the rich immortalising meed of his melodious tear. Strong the breeze and stout the pinion that aloft great Alfred bare, ' Sailing with supreme dominion through the azure deep of air '- I to lower levels keeping, by the margin of the Dee, Emulate the never-sleeping labours of the busy bee. 74 AD IULUM ANTONIUM Grata carpentis thyma per laborem Plurimum circa nemus uvidique Tiburis ripas operosa parvus Carmina fingo. Concines maiore poe'ta plectro Caesarem, quandoque trahet feroces Per sacrum clivum merita decorus Fronde Sygambros : Quo nihil maius meliusve terris Fata donavere bonique divi TO ALFRED AUSTIN 75. There I with impassioned relish woo the Theologic Muse, Penning theses to embellish North American Reviews, Heedless of the wild excursions planned by Jameson or Rhodes, As I tivitate my versions of the Sabine singer's Odes. You, as wearer of the laurel, when the Kaiser comes to Cowes Or is bidden to Balmoral, will the music-halls arouse As you sing him onward ranging, quelling Socialistic storms, Indefatigably changing Chancellors and uniforms. Hohenzollern, most astounding product of this fevered age, Acrobatically bounding o'er the European stage ; 7 6 AD IULUM ANTONIUM Nee dabunt, quamvis redeant in aurum Tempera priscum. Concines laetosque dies et Urbis Publicum ludum super impetrato Fortis Augusti reditu forumque Litibus orbum. Turn meae, si quid loquar audiendum, Vocis accedet bona pars, et, O Sol Pulcher ! O laudande ! canam, recepto Caesare felix. TO ALFRED AUSTIN 77 Versatile mercurial hero, modelled in the very mould Of the royal Crichton Nero, in his first * five years of gold.' You will sing the lion-hunting of our autocratic guest Street on street arrayed in bunting Demos in his Sunday best Paint the operatic gala Courts of Justice hushed and still- Like the late Augustus Sala, monarch of the florid quill. I too, if amid the cheering and hallooing of the crowd I can gain a partial hearing, may be possibly allowed To endorse the salutation of our sole official bard, And express my admiration on a post- (or postal-) card. 78 AD IULUM ANTONIUM Teque, dum procedit, io Triumphe, Non semel dicemus, io Triumphe, Civitas omnis dabimusque divis Thura benignis. Te decem tauri totidemque vaccae Me tener solvet vitulus, relicta Matre, qui largis iuvenescit herbis In mea vota. TO ALFRED AUSTIN 79 As along Pall Mall he passes, loudly from the loyal lips Of the clubmen and the classes shall proceed Hurrahs and Hips ! While the masses, southward roaming, to the Crystal Palace flock And behold him, in the gloaming, limned in fire by Mister Brock. Finally, that no hiatus in our welcome be espied, Each, according to his status, gifts must graciously provide : You a score of volumes, stately prose and poems, half and half, I a tiny tome sedately bound in unobtrusive calf. 8o AD MELPOMENEN QUEM tu, Melpomene, semel Nascentem placido lumine videris ; Ilium non labor Isthmius Clarabit pugilem, non equus impiger Curru ducet Achaico Victorem, neque res bellica Deliis Ornatum foliis ducem, Quod regum tumidas contuderit minas, Ostendet Capitolio : Sed quae Tibur aquae fertile praefluunt Et spissae nemorum comae Fingent Aeolio carmine nobilem. 8i TO MELPOMENE THE babe who, entering on this mortal scene, Wins from Melpomene a smile serene, Will never grow into a second Sayers, Or figure in the Gentlemen v. Players. Nor will he notoriety command By tooling the superbest four-in-hand ; Nor rise to fame by snubbing Uncle Sam's Or Wilhelm's aggravating telegrams. For him no Guildhall feast nor vote of thanks ; But he shall sing, by silver Isis' banks, In accents dulcet as a turtle dove's, The birds, the groves, the ' garden that he loves.' G AD MELPOMENEN Romae principis urbium Dignatur suboles inter amabi)es Vatum ponere me chores, Et iam dente minus mordeor invido. O, testudinis aureae Dulcem quae strepitum, Fieri, temperas, O mutis quoque piscibus Donatura cycni, si libeat, sonum, Totum muneris hoc tui est, Quod monstror digito praetereuntium Romanae fidicen lyrae : Quod spiro et placeo, si placeo, tuum est. TO MELPOMENE 83 Even in London the ' reaction-ridden ' Am I by Tory tongues no longer chidden, No more calumniated as a scuttler, Since I abandoned politics for Butler. O Muse of Song, who Wagner bad'st unfold The magic legend of the Ring of Gold, Teaching his fishlike daughters of the Rhine To sing a swanlike melody divine To thee I owe it that in recent years Dissentient Liberals, freed from former fears, Forget the dangerous Disintegrator In Dante's friend and Horace's translator. G 2 8 4 FENERATOR ALFIUS VITAM RUSTIC AM LAUD AT i BEATUS ille, qui procul negotiis, Ut prisca gens mortalium, Paterna rura bobus exercet suis, Solutus omni fenore, Neque excitatur classico miles truci, Neque horret iratum mare, Forumque vitat et superba civium Potentiorum limina. THE EX-CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER PRAISES THE COUNTRY LIFE 1 HAPPY the man, removed as far From business as the Centaurs are, Who, quit of tax and estimate, Retires to farm his own estate ; Who, though the bugles bid to war, Content, abides beside his door, And, safe in harbourage of home, Recks nought of the engulfing foam ; To whom St. Stephen's calls in vain, And vainly, parvenu Park Lane. 86 FENERATOR ALF1US Ergo aut adulta vitium propagine Altas maritat populos, Aut in reducta valle mugientium Prospectat errantes greges ; Inutilesque falce ramos amputans Feliciores inserit ; Aut pressa puris mella condit amphoris ; Aut tondet infirmas oves ; Vel, cum decorum mitibus pomis caput Auctumnus agris extulit, THE EX-CHANCELLOR 87 Instead, a right bucolic soul, He trains the hop along its pole ; Or, snugly seated, joys to see The lowing kine wind, o'er the lea ; Or checks with keen-edged pruning knife An apple's unproductive life, Scheming to win his meed of fruit By grafting there a lustier shoot ; Or, where the sweet-pea richliest thrives, Robs warily the murmurous hives, Straining bright honey from the wax ; Or clips his ewes' o'erladen backs. Or, when triumphantly appears Brown Autumn, lifting o'er the ears Of golden corn a glowing head Crowned regally with Ribstons red, FENERATOR ALFIUS Ut gaudet insitiva decerpens pira, Certantem et uvam purpurae, Qua muneretur te, Priape, et te, pater Silvane, tutor finium ! Libet iacere, modo sub antiqua ilice, Modo in tenaci gramine. Labuntur altis interim ripis aquae, Queruntur in silvis aves, Fontesque lymphis obstrepunt manantibus, Somnos quod invitet leves. THE EX-CHANCELLOR 89 With what delight he plucks the pear, The outcome of his watchful care ; Or, high on ladder, cuts the fine Empurpled clusters from the vine Meet presents for such deities As rural Squire may wish to please ! As Fancy bids, anon he'll take His ease among the tangled brake ; Or, stretched beneath a spreading oak, Will beatifically smoke ; While plashing merrily along The sylvan streamlet's jocund song, The thrush's flute-like, mellow call, The music of the waterfall So soothingly caress his ear, That slumber, ere he knows, is near. 90 FENERATOR ALFIUS At cum tonantis annus hibernus lovis Imbres nivesque comparat, Aut trudit acres hinc et hinc multa cane Apros in obstantes plagas ; Aut amite levi rara tendit retia, Turdis edacibus dolos ; Pavidumque leporem et advenam laqueo gruem lucunda captat praemia. Quis non malarum, quas amor curas habet, Haec inter obliviscitur ? Quod si pudica mulier in partem iuvet Domum atque dulces liberos, THE EX-CHANCELLOR 91 But when Old Winter comes again, Tremendous Lord of snow and rain, Then, mounted on his straining horse, He joins the hunt's tumultuous course, Swelling the din of joyous sounds, And cheering on the eager hounds ; Or, gun in hand, and eagle-eyed, Ranges the teeming covert-side, Until his weary footsteps drag Beneath a " mixed " and bulging bag. Amid these scenes, how well may one Lose sight of Aphrodite's son, And, busy in the field and grove, Forget the agonies of love ! Yet should a tender partner share The daily round of mirth and care, 92 FENERATOR ALFIUS Sabina qualis aut perusta solibus Pernicis uxor Apuli, Sacrum vetustis exstruat lignis focum Lassi sub adventum viri, Claudensque textis cratibus laetum pecus Distenta siccet ubera, Et horna dulci vina promens dolio Dapes inemptas apparet : Non me Lucrina iuverint conchylia, Magtsve rhombus, aut scari, Si quos Eois intonata fluctibus Hiems ad hoc vertat mare ; THE EX-CHANCELLOR 93 Dividing griefs and doubling joys, Fond mother of his girls and boys ; A matron with as sweet a fame As Mrs. Poyser (glorious dame !) ; Or skilful in the " fireside " life As Hampshire farmer's sunburned wife, Piling the crackling logs to greet Her husband's home-returning feet ; Or deftly milking, in the shed, White Violet, and Pansy red, And Daisy of the swishing tail ; Or filling jugs of home-brewed ale To grace the board whereon is laid The snowy bread herself has made ; Were such his helpmate, then no more He'd covet gastronomic lore : No piscine dainty sought afar, Or caviar, or potted char ; 94 FENERATOR ALFIUS Non Afra avis descendat in ventrem meum, Non attagen lonicus lucundior, quam lecta de pinguissimis Oliva ramis arborum, Aut herba lapathi prata amantis, et gravi Malvae salubres corpori, Vel agna festis caesa Terminalibus, Vel haedus ereptus lupo. Has inter epulas, ut iuvat pastas oves Videre properantes domum, Videre fessos vomerem inversum boves Collo trahentes languido, THE EX-CHANCELLOR 95 No wondrous bird, designed to test The fowler at his wiliest, And leave, before so rare a plate, Bons vivants inarticulate ; Would keenlier his palate please Than pippin from his orchard trees ; Or mushroom hiding out of view Among the grass-blades wet with dew ; Or onion wit's restorative The raciest root that earth can give ; Or lamb ; or chicken dropped in fright By stealthy fox at dead of night. At such repasts, how good to note The fat sheep thronging to their cote, The weary horses dragging home The plough that erst has turned the loam, 96 FENERATOR ALFIUS Positosque vernas, ditis examen domus, Circum renidentes Lares ! ' Haec ubi locutus fenerator Alfius, lam iam futurus rusticus, Omnem redegit Idibus pecuniam, Quaerit Kalendis ponere. THE EX-CHANCELLOR 97 The labourers, who love their lord, Ranging like bees about the board, Endowed with noble appetite, While o'er them plays the ruddy light ! ' Thus, careless of financial fret, Spake Malwood's great Plantagenet, To rural Squire transmogrified, The idol of the countryside. He vowed no Budget more to frame . . . Yet, when a sudden crisis came, And Tories sank before their foes, And Liberals again arose, In spite of all his fervid praise Of rustic life and quiet days, Behold Sir William on his feet, Flaunting the Nation's balance sheet ! . , , , E. V. L. H PRINTED BY SPOTTISWOODE AND CO., NEW-STREET SQUARE LONDON THIRD EDITION. Small post 8vo. 3*. 6d. THE HAWARDEN HORACE. By CHARLES L,. GRAVES, Author of The Blarney Ballads J The Green above the Red,' &c. THE TIMES : ' Excellent, full of fun, of genial and apposite satire, without a trace of merely partisan bitterness.' THE ATHENJEUM : ' Clever jeux d' esprit. . . . Mr. Gladstone himself can find no offence in the playful banter of himself and his principal colleagues.' THE SPECTATOR : ' Mr. Graves deserves hearty praise, not only for the humour' but also for the good humour of its satire. ... It is not often that so much real fun outcome of a robust humour working together with a fine scholarship, is to be found in so small a space.' THE DAILY TELEGRAPH : ' Written with a great deal of nimbleness and cleverness.' THE GLOBE : ' Every one should read this tiny volume as good as it is small. ' THE GLASGOW HERALD : ' Very clever and delightful fun.' THE WESTMINSTER GAZETTE :-' If political satire were always as gay, as gracious, and as kindly as are these most amusing travesties of Horace, public life would, on one side at least, be changed for the better.' THE SCOTSMAN : ' Spirited, scholarly, and humorous verses.' 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Crown 8vo. limp red cloth, zs. 6d. London : SMITH, ELDER, & CO., 15 Waterloo Place. .. 50m- 414926 UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA LIBRARY