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 Pleader's guide 
 
 difomia 
 
 ional 
 
 lity
 
 ^e^U 
 
 THE LIBRARY 
 
 OF 
 
 THE UNIVERSITY 
 
 OF CALIFORNIA 
 
 LOS ANGELES
 
 THE 
 
 PLEADER'S GUIDE, 
 
 A DIDACTIC POEM, 
 
 IN TWO BOOKS, 
 
 CONTAINING 
 
 THE CONDUCT OF A SUIT AT LAW, 
 
 PFith the Arguments of 
 COUNSELLOR BOTHER'UM, 
 
 AND 
 
 COUNSELLOR BORE'UM, 
 
 IN AN ACTION BETWIXT 
 
 JOHN-a-GULL, and JOHN-a-GUDGEON, 
 
 For ASSAULT and BATTERY, at a late 
 Contejied EleSiion. 
 
 BY THE LATE 
 
 JOHN SURREBUTTER, Esq. 
 SPECIAL PLEADER, and BARRISTER AT LAW, 
 
 LOl^DON: 
 
 BRINTED FOR T. CADELL, JUN. AND W. DAVIES, (SUCCESSORS 
 TO MR.CADELL) IN THE STRAND. 
 
 1796.
 
 % 
 
 €nteret! at ©tationer'g f^$M
 
 623/ 
 
 ^'1 
 
 TO THE READER. 
 
 1 HE following produftion of die late 
 ingenious Mr. Surrebutter, Special 
 Pleader, and Barrifter at Law, is fubmit- 
 ted to your perufal in the precife form 
 in which it was found among the Author's 
 Papers at his deceafe. The Poem is di- 
 vided into two Books, each of which is 
 fubdivided into eight Parts, being the 
 fubftance of a Courfe of Ledures original- 
 ly intended for the ufe of his kinfman.
 
 IV TO THE READER. 
 
 Mr. Job Surrebutter, to whom they 
 are particularly addreffed. An Explana- 
 tion of the technical terms, and legal 
 references, as they occur in the courfe of 
 the work, are fubjoined by your humble 
 fervant, 
 
 THE EDITOR.
 
 C V ] 
 
 SYLLABUS 
 
 OF 
 
 Mr. SURREBUTTER'S 
 PROFESSIONAL LECTURES, 
 
 LECTURE L 
 
 iVlR. Surrebutter propofes the Plan of 
 his Ledures — His addrefs to the Gentlemen 
 of the Law, particularly to his kinfman Mr. 
 Job Surrebutter — The Plan of Mr. Job's 
 Education for the ftudy of the Law com- 
 mended — The fuperior advantages of his 
 lituation as a Special Pleader's Pupil.
 
 Vi SYLLABUS. 
 
 LECTURE II. 
 
 Of the King, and his Prerogative — Of the 
 Civil and Municipal adminiftration of 
 public Juftice, allegorically delineated and 
 compared. 
 
 LECTURE IIL 
 
 Connparifon continued — Of the Civil Law 
 Procefs — Excommunication — Serious ad- 
 drefs to the Civilians, with certain weighty- 
 Interrogatories — Mr. Surrebutter's per- 
 fonal fuperiority as a Common Lawyer — 
 Counfellor Bother'um, and Counfellor 
 Bore'um propofed to Mr. Job Surrebut- 
 ter as models for his imitation. 
 
 LECTURE IV. 
 
 Of the Common Law procefs — Invocation to 
 an Infernal Spirit — Of the Original, or
 
 SYLLABUS. Vll 
 
 Original Writ, and Procefs thereon — The 
 High Sheriff and his executive Power — Of 
 
 Law Fidions. 
 
 LECTURE V. 
 
 Procefs continued — Of the Writs Latitat 
 — Capias — Quo Minus — Of filing Common 
 Bail — Of Special Bail, or Bail to the A^ion, 
 
 LECTURE VL 
 
 Of Procefs againfl: Privileged Perfons — Of 
 the Distringas — Its Phyfical and Chirur- 
 gical Qualities. Procefs to Outlawry ^ and 
 the Party's Appearance upon the Capias 
 Utlagatum. 
 
 LECTURE VIL 
 
 An Epifode, containing authentic Memoirs 
 of Mr. Surrebutter's profeflional Career.
 
 Vm SYLLABUS. 
 
 LECTURE VIII. 
 
 Memoirs continued — Mr. Surrebutter is 
 called to the Bar — Goes the Circuit — The 
 Character of Mr. Joseph Ferret, a Coun- 
 try Attorney — Subjedl refumed — Inftruc- 
 tions to Mr. Job Surrebutter in the Art 
 of Special Pleading — Messrs. John Doe 
 and Richard Roe — Conclufion of the Firft 
 Book.
 
 THE 
 
 PLEADER^s GUIDE. 
 
 BOOK I. 
 
 B
 
 THE. 
 
 PLEADER'S GUIDE, 
 
 BOOK L 
 LECTURE I. 
 
 Mr. Surrebutter propofes the plan of his 
 leBures : his addrefs to the Gentlemen of the 
 LaWy particularly to his kinfmaUy Mr. Job 
 Surrebutter — The plan of Mr. Job's 
 education for the fludy of the Law commend^ 
 ed — Thefupcrior advantages of his fituation 
 as 4? Special Pleader's Pupil. 
 
 yJF legal Fi6lions, Quirks, and Glofles, 
 Attorney s gains, and Client's lofles. 
 Of Suits created, loft, and won. 
 How to undo, and be undone. 
 Whether by Common Law, or Civil 
 A man goes fooner to the Devil, 
 Things which few mortals can difclofe 
 In Verfe, or comprehend in Profe, 
 
 B 2
 
 4 pleader's guide. [^Book I. 
 
 I fing— do thou,, bright Phcebus, deign 
 To (hine for once in Chanc'ry-lane ; 
 And, Clio, if your pipe you'll lend 
 To Mercury, the Lawyer's friend, 
 That ' Ufher of the golden Rod, 
 Of Gain and Eloquence the God, 
 Shall lead my fteps with guidance fure. 
 Safe through the ' palpable obfcure, 
 And take my Parchments for his labour 
 To cover your harmonious Tabor— 
 *' PiNDUS to wit;'— or where you chufe,— 
 At Lincoln's Inn, or Arethufe, 
 For Bards and Lawyers both with cafe 
 May place the ' Venue where they pleafe ; 
 
 -Virgaque levem coerces 
 
 Aurea turbam. H"^- ^^''' 
 
 b And through the palpable obfcure find out 
 His uncouth way. Milton, b. ii. v. 405. 
 
 » Venue or -vifne, In Latin, -vidnetum, is the neighbour- 
 hood in which the Declaration ftates the Caufe of Adion 
 to have arifen. and is prefixed to the margin of every 
 Declaration with a5nAr./, as «' Pindus to wit" above.
 
 LeB. L~] pleader's guide- 5 
 
 "" No matter where an Aftion 's laid, 
 
 A Contrail or a Poem made : 
 
 Is there a proud o'erbearing wight 
 
 Who tramples on his neighbour's right, 
 
 Superior in his own Opinion 
 
 To Lawyers, and the Law's Dominion ? 
 
 Say what compulfive mode of a6lion 
 
 Muft give the injured fatisfaftion ; 
 
 What forms, what fi61ions muft combine 
 
 To make the parties ^ Ilfue join. 
 
 * No matter nvhere — This muft be underftood of perfonal 
 or tranfirory adtions which relate to Goods and Chattels, 
 as contradiftinguifhed from local, which relate to Lands 
 and Tenements : of the former cla^s are all Adions of 
 Covenant, Contra<5l, Annuity, or Debt at large. Voi debi- 
 turn et contraSim fuit nullius loci. 7 Co. 5. a. 2 In, 229. 2j, 
 
 ' IJfuejoin — Tffue from the French ijfuer, i. e. emanare, 
 to flow from. The word ijfue has various fignifications in 
 Law, it occurs here in its moft general and received fenfs 
 ** a fingle certain and material point iffuing out of the 
 *' Allegations and Pleas of the Plaintiff and Defendant, 
 *' confifting regularly upon an Affirmative and Negative 
 " in a Caufe to be tried by a Jury of twelve men." 1 Inji, 
 126.
 
 6 pleader's guide. l^Book I, 
 
 And better may enable thofe 
 Who draw their Pleas, or Briefs compofe. 
 To hold the balance of fuccefs 
 With fuch precifion and addrefs. 
 That both the combat may fuflain. 
 And neither the advantage gain, 
 But when 'tis o'er and judgment given 
 The fcales may prove fo juft and even. 
 That each may venture to make oath 
 The Law's impartial to them both. 
 When both in rags their folly rue. 
 The Viftor, and the Vanquifh'd too. 
 
 Hear then, and deign to be my Readers, 
 Attorneys, Barrilters, and Pleaders, 
 Shrieves, Juflices, and Civil Doftors, 
 Surrogates, Delegates, and Pro6lors, 
 Grave Judges too, with fmiles perufe 
 The Tallies of a Lawyer's Mufe, 
 A buxom Lafs, who fain would make 
 Your fober fides with Laughter fhake ; 
 And, good my Lords, be kind and gracious. 
 And though You deem her contumacious.
 
 LeB, /.] pleader's guide. 7 
 
 Ne'er to the Fleet, or Bridewell fend her. 
 But fpare a ludicrous offender. 
 Who longs to make your mufcles play, 
 And give your Cheeks a holiday. 
 
 Hear me, ye Wits, and Critics too. 
 And learned ' Dames in Stocking blue. 
 And you, ye Bards, my book who dip in. 
 In hopes to catch its Author tripping, 
 Some Mercy ftill, and Juflice fhew him. 
 And purchafe ere you damn his Poem. 
 
 But, chiefly thou, dear Job, my Friend, 
 My Kinfman, to my Verfe attend ; 
 By Education form'd to fliine , 
 
 Confpicuous in the Pleading Line, 
 For you, from five years old to twenty. 
 Were cramm'd with Latin words in plenty. 
 Were bound apprentice to the Mufes, 
 And forc'd with hard words, blows, and 
 
 bruifes. 
 To labour on Poetic ground, 
 Daftyls and Spondees to confound. 

 
 8 pleader's guide. \JBook L 
 
 And when become in Fiftions wife. 
 In Pagan hiftories and lies. 
 Were fent to dive at Granta's cells. 
 For Truth in Diale6lic wells. 
 There duly bound for four years more 
 To ply the Philofophic oar, 
 Points metaphyfical to moot. 
 Chop Logic, wrangle, and difpute ; 
 And now, by far the mod ambitious 
 Of all the fons of Bergerfdicius, 
 Prefent the Law with all the knowledge 
 You gather'd both at School and College, 
 Still bent on adding to your (lore 
 The Graces of a Pleader's lore; 
 And, better to improve your talle. 
 Are by your Parent's fondnefs plac'd 
 Among the bleft, the chofen few, 
 (Bleft:, ^ if their happinefs they knew,) 
 Who for three hundred Guineas paid 
 To fome great Mailer of the Trade, 
 Have, at his rooms, by y^fc/^/ Favour, 
 His leave to ufe their beft endeavour 
 
 "^ Sua fi bona no'rint. Virg,
 
 LeB, /.] pleader's guide. 9 
 
 By drawing Pleas, from nine till four. 
 To earn him twice three hundred more. 
 And, after dinner, may repair 
 To ^ore/aid rooms, and then and therg 
 Have 'fore/aid leave, from five till ten. 
 To draw th' aforefaid Pleas again ; 
 While thus your blifsful hours run on 
 Till three improving years are gone. 
 Permit me, with thefe rhymes, awhile. 
 Your leifure moments to beguile. 
 And guide your bold adventurous ways 
 Safe through that wide and pathlefs maze 
 Where Law and Cuftom, Truth and Fi6lion, 
 Craft, Juftice, Strife, and Contradiftion, 
 With every bleffing of Confufion, 
 Qjirk, Error, Quibble, and Delufion, 
 Are all, if rightly underflood, 
 Confpiring for the public Good, 
 Like jarring Minillers of State, 
 'Mid Anger, Jealoufy, and Hate, 
 In friendly Coalition join'd. 
 To harmonize and blefs mankind.
 
 10 pleader's guide. \_Book I, 
 
 LECTURE II. 
 
 0/ the King, and his Prerogative — Of the 
 Civil and Municipal adminijlration of 
 public Juflicey allegorically delineated and 
 compared. 
 
 
 1 HE ' King, o'er ev'ry Caufe fupreme. 
 Be firft the Prelude of my Theme, 
 In Him, fans ' Laches or ' Misfeafance, 
 Refides ideal ^ Omniprefence ; 
 
 ^ 'Em Aiog ap^u)fji.E<r6a. TheOC. 
 
 I Laches, in French, Laches, fignifies flacknefs or negli- 
 gence ; upon the prefumption that the King is daily employ- 
 ed in the weighty afFairs of Government, it is an eftabli(hed 
 rule at Common Law, that no Laches fhall be imputed to 
 Him, nor He any way fufFer in his Interefts, which arc 
 certain and permanent. Bac. 
 
 * Misfeafance fignifies wrong doing; Lord C. J. Hale
 
 Le5l. //.] pleader's guide. ii 
 
 Him the jufl rights of Empire give 
 For ever in his Courts to live ; 
 No wafteful lapfe of rolling years 
 His juft * Prerogative impairs ; 
 E'en ^ Time that 's wont fo fwift to fly. 
 Stands motionlefs with Majefty ; 
 
 fays, the Law prefumes the King will do no wrong, neither 
 indeed can He do any wrong. 
 
 * Omniprefence, or Ubiquity, is a confequence of the 
 King's prerogative — his Majefty, in the eye of the Law, 
 is always prefent in all his Courts, although he cannot 
 perfonally diftribute Juftice. 
 
 •♦ Prerogati'vei Lord Coke fays, is fo called, becaufe 
 •* though an Aft has paffed both houfes of Parliament, yet 
 *• before it will be a Law the Royal AfTent muft be afiedy 
 *' or demanded, and obtained" (as indeed the etymology 
 feems to import) ** but that it legally extends to all powers, 
 « privileges, and pre-eminences, which the Law giveth 
 *' to the Crown." Co. L. 90. — But the moft precife defini- 
 tion of Prerogative, is in Finch, L. 85. Prerogative, he 
 fays, is that Law in the cafe of the King, which is not 
 Law in the cafe of a fubjeft. 
 
 ^ Time. — Vigilantibus et mn dormientibus jurafubferviunt 
 is the Law in the cafe of the fubjed— »«//a/w Tcmpus occurrit 
 regi is the King's Plea. Hoh, 3^.7. The right of the King
 
 12 pleader's guide. ]JBook I, 
 
 How long foe'er a Caufe is flay'd 
 By ^ Orders, Rules, and Motions made 
 On Points by learned Counfel mooted. 
 The King can never be ' nonfuited. 
 
 was never defeated by any length of Time till the ixjac. i. 
 c. 2. and aft 9 Geo. 3- c. 15. which was framed to amend 
 the former and render it more effeftual. The King's Liber- 
 ties and Franchifes are exprefsly excepted from the ope- 
 ration of thefe ads. 
 
 ^ Orders. — Orders and Rules are obtained by Motion in 
 Court, which is an occafional application to the Court by 
 the parties, or their counfel, to obtain fome Rule or Order 
 which becomes neceffary in the progrefs of the Caufe, and 
 is ufually grounded on an j^ffidavit, 
 
 " Nonfuiied. — A Nonfuit is a dereliftion or renunciation of 
 the fuit, by the Plaintiff, before Verdift given, and is thus 
 effefted. The Plaintiff, or his agent, when he is apprehen- 
 five of a Verdifl againft him, withdraws himfelfoutof 
 Court, whereupon the Crier is ordered to call the Plaintiff, 
 and if he or his agent does not appear, he is nonfuited, and 
 is faid nonfequi clamQremfia(m—2& the King cannot withdraw 
 himfelf out of Court, he cannot be nonfuited. " The 
 *' King's Majefty cannot be nonfuit, becaufe in judgment 
 •* of Law he is ever prefent in all his Courts." Co, X. 139.
 
 Le^. Iir\ pleader's guide. 13 
 
 From Him who feels his fubjecls woes. 
 The healing flream of ' Juftice flows ; 
 From Him, derives its genuine fource, 
 Howe'er polluted in its courfe, 
 Howe'er unpalatable made, 
 Defil'd, perverted, or delay'd ; 
 Bled Fount ! from you th' opprefs'd and weak 
 Eafe to their cares and forrows feek ; 
 Where'er thy genial waters flray. 
 Pride, Rapine, Fraud, and lawlefs Sway, 
 Forbear the hallow'd ground to tread. 
 While Truth by injur'd Virtue led 
 With weeping Innocence attends. 
 And proflrate o'er thy current bends, 
 To quaff the cup which bounteous Heaven 
 To all impartially has given ; 
 But fome amidfl: the legal Throng 
 Who think to them thy Streams belong. 
 Like thofe of Galen's learned Tribe 
 Who fome falubrious ftream prefcribe. 
 
 * 7»/?/c£— The King is the Fountain of Juftice, and aU 
 Courts derive their authority from him- Co, L, 139.
 
 14 pleader's guide. ^Book I. 
 
 But Chemicals and Drugs infufe. 
 
 And all its healing powers abufe. 
 
 Pain to their tortur'd Clients bring, 
 
 And make thy pure and wholefome Spring 
 
 Foul as the pools which devils mix 
 
 At Chelt'nham, Harrogate, or Styx ; 
 
 And Law itfelf fo rich is grown 
 
 In terms and mflrums of its own. 
 
 That e'en the Sages who expound 
 
 Its truths and myfleries profound, 
 
 (And none more learn'd, humane, and juft 
 
 Have e'er difcharg'd their facred truft) 
 
 Are forc'd to cite opinions wife, 
 
 ' Crok. Car. Crok. Jac, and Crok. Eliz, 
 
 And when fome recipe they hit on 
 
 In *° Glanville, Brafton, Coke, or Britton, 
 
 9 Crok. Car. — Judge Croke's Reports are cited in the 
 names of tliofe princes in whofe reigns the cafes reported in 
 his three volumes were determined, viz. Queen Elizabeth, 
 King James, and King Charles I. 
 
 '° Glanvilhy Bra^on, &c.—G/(7z?w7/^ was Chief Jufticc 
 in the reign of Hen. II. and wrote a book of Common 
 Law, fuppofed to be the moll ancient on the fubjeCl,
 
 Le^. //.] pleader's guide. 15 
 
 Their friendly fuccour interpofe. 
 And hold the Patient by the nofe. 
 With care adminifter the potion, 
 Confult, and give him eafe by Motion, 
 And turn by tedious procefs quaint. 
 Acute to Chronical complaint. 
 Nor are there wanting who convey 
 Their Nojlrums in a Civil way, 
 Doftors, who fond of confultations, 
 Their Patients work with long quotations, 
 And as the nature of the fa6l is. 
 Torment them with a foreign pra£lice ; 
 Pleas'd in myfterious Terms to fpeak, 
 And cite fome fav'rite Empirique, 
 Some Quack, of note in days of yore. 
 When Science from the Latian fhore 
 
 'BraSon wrote his Treatlfe in the reign of Henry III. 
 
 Sir Ed. Coke publifhed his Inftitute and Commentary 
 upon Littleton in the reign of James I, 
 
 Britton wrote his book in Edw. I.'s time by command of 
 that king upon the model of Jujiinian'% Inftitutions. Stautt* 
 /ord*t frtrog, 621,
 
 i6 pleader's guide. \^Book I. 
 
 To Albion came, and''Tibur's ftreams 
 Firft join'd her focial waves with Thames, 
 'Twas then that fam'd Academician, 
 That learned Monk and Politician, 
 He who Vacarius was call'd, 
 The wife e/eve of' Theobald, 
 And others by their Priefls efcorted, 
 Thofe Books "" of choice receipts imported, 
 
 *» In Tiberim defluxit Orontes. Juvenal, 
 
 ' Theobald. — Theobald, a Norman abbot, and archbifhop 
 of Canterbury, in the reign of King Stephen, introduced 
 the Civil Law into England. Among others of his retinue 
 he brought over with him Roger, furnamed Vacarius, 
 whom he placed in the univerfity of Oxford to teach it 
 to tlie people of this country. Blac. Com. 
 
 * Thof^ hooks — A copy of the Pandeds was difcovcred at 
 Amalji or Amalfis, a city of Apulia, in the following man- 
 ner : Lotharius IL in the year 1 137, being engaged in a 
 war in behalf of Pope Innocent II. againft Roger, King of 
 Sicily and Naples, carried the city of Amalfi by ftorm, 
 with 46 Pifan gallies : upon plundering the city a copy 
 of Juftinian's Pandefts was found, and from thence con- 
 veyed to Pifa, and afterwards to Florence, where it was 
 kept in the duke's palace, according to Selden, and is 
 never brought forth but with torch-light and tokens of 
 reveiencc.
 
 Le^. IL"^ pleader's guide. 
 
 Which at Amalji lay conceal'd 
 Till by Lothario's arms reveal'd, 
 With thefe, their Fortunes to prefer, 
 They fet up Shop at Weftminfter ; 
 ' But of their praftice were debarr'd 
 And fairly kick'd from Palace Yard, 
 
 ^ But of their pra8ke — The extraordinary rife and eftab- 
 lifliment of the Civil Law created a jealoufy throughout 
 all Europe. King Stephen iffued a peremptory command 
 preventing its propagation in England, and prohibiting 
 Vacarius from reading Leftures at Oxford, and making it 
 unlawful for any one to keep any of the books of the 
 Roman Law by them. DiJ/ert. ad Flet. c. 7. 
 
 *' The nobility at all times rejefted the Civil Law with 
 ** a degree of afperity and ill humour — TheUfurper Stephen 
 ** whofe intereft it was to conciliate their affeftions, went 
 ** fo far as to prohibit the ftudy of it." De Lolme. 
 
 Charles the Ninth and Henry the Third of France iffued 
 edift; to the fame effefl in France. In Spain it was made 
 capital to offer or allege the Roman Law as compulfive and 
 binding, vid. Eodin deRepub. Lib, i,caf, 8, of the impolicy
 
 i8 pleader's guide. [Book L 
 
 Till thinking they had no intent 
 To hurt th' eftablifh'd Government, 
 O'er-rule the Laws and ride the Land 
 With Romifh edi6ls contraband, 
 The Nation, proud of the fubmiffion 
 Of men of birth and erudition, 
 Gave them a lodging, and in pity 
 Sent them to fettle in the City, 
 Begg'd them to gather up their alls. 
 And vend their drugs behind St. Pauls — 
 
 Provided a/ways that if e'er 
 Said Quack, or Quacks, fhould interfere. 
 Or any Ouack, in word or deed 
 Prefume his Province to exceed. 
 
 of advancing the Laws of Strangers in derogation of the 
 Municipal Laws of the country. 
 
 Fortefcue, C. Juftice of the King's Bench, and afterwards 
 Chancellor, carried his oppofition to the Civil Law fo far, 
 that he wrote a book intitlcd '* De Laudibus LegumAtiglits" 
 profefledlyw ith a view to demonftrate the fuperiority of 
 the Englifh Laws over the CiviL
 
 Le^. It.'] pleader's guide. 19 
 
 Or take upon him as a Scholar, 
 
 " Prohibitory Writ (hould follow : 
 
 Bleft Writ ! by which their fees are ftay'd, 
 
 And briefs into our bags convey'd ! 
 
 A practice which muft needs difguft em. 
 
 For as we thrive, they lofe their cuflom ; 
 
 4 Prohibitory Writ — Or Writ of Prohibition, is a Prero- 
 gative Writ iffuing out ot the King's Bench, and in fome 
 cafes, out of the Common Pleas, and the Chancery ; and 
 is direfted to any inferior Court, enjoining their profe- 
 cution of a Caufe therein depending, upon a Suggeftion 
 that the cognizance thereof belongeth not to the Court. 
 F. N. B. 39. 
 
 This Writ is commonly granted upon motion, grounded 
 on a Suggeftion on Record, fetting forth the nature of the 
 complaint, and ifTues to enjoin the Counfel, Judge, and 
 Regifterofthe inferior Court not to proceed any fur- 
 ther in the Caufe in queftion; but in cafes of doubt or 
 difficulty, the Party applying is direfted by the Court to 
 declare in Prohibition^ that is, to commence an AifHon by 
 filing a Declaration, ftating a fiSlion in Laiv, viz. that the 
 other party has aftually proceeded in the Suit bfloiu, not- 
 withftanding the writ. And the Qneftion as to the com- 
 petency of the inferior Court being negatived upon De- 
 murrer and Argument, the Prohibition to the inferior 
 Court refults as a confequcnce of the Judgment. 
 
 C 2
 
 20 pleader's guide. \_Book I. 
 
 But what they lofe, or what they gain. 
 Has never yet diflurb'd my brain: 
 Let others heed fuch broils and bullies 
 Who better can command their mufcles; 
 Enough for me, when Client ftands 
 With Purfe and Parchment in his hands. 
 And claims my favour and proteftion. 
 To keep my Features in iubjeftion ; 
 Enough for me, with ferious face 
 To puzzle and perplex his Cafe, 
 Then give his Purfe a gentle fqueeze. 
 And tafte the flavour of his Fees, 
 His fweet Retainers, and Refrefliers, 
 And leave thefe claffical Profeffors 
 Mid barren fields of Roman lore 
 Their dreary journey to explore. 
 And lead through paths of fruitlefs fcience 
 Their comfortlefs bewilder'd Clients.
 
 Le^. IIir\ pleader's guide. 21 
 
 LECTURE III. 
 
 Comparifon continued — Of the Civil Law j&ro- 
 cefs — Excommunication — Serious Addrefs to the 
 Civilians y with certain weighty Interrogatories 
 — Mr. SuRREBUTTER's^cr/o??^/ Superiority as 
 a Common Lawyer — Counsellor Bother'um 
 and Counsellor Bore'um propofcd to Mr. 
 Job Surrebutter as Models for his Imitation. 
 
 Jl\NOW all to whom thefe prefents come. 
 The ' Pande6ls of Imperial Rome, 
 And every "" Refcript and Opinion 
 Of ^ Theodosius, or ^ Justinian, 
 * Of Ulpian, Paulus, or Papinian, 
 
 • Tandecis — The Pandeds, or Digefts, are the writings 
 of the ancient Civil Lawyers, fyftematically compiled by 
 Jaftinian, and comprifed in fifty books. Vid. not. ante. 
 
 - Refcript — The Refcripts of the Roman emperors were 
 ihe Expofitions and Conftruftions which they were pleafed 
 to make of their own Laws by way of anfwer and opinion 
 to the Cafes referred to them : 
 
 ^ Theodosius — A Code of Civil Law was compo- 
 fed hy order of the Emperor Theodofius the younger^,
 
 22 pleader's guide. [^Boofi I. 
 
 \\\t\\ Him who fludied and profefs'd 'em, 
 And had the Stomach to digeft 'em. 
 Old ^ GoTHOFREDUS with a Corpus 
 As fat and clumfy as a Porpus ; 
 Him too with all his Galimatias, 
 Scaliger's Jewell, lage ' Cujacius, 
 
 and is illll extant in fixteen books, containing a colleflion 
 of the Imperial Conftitutions, from Conftantine, to his 
 own Time. It received the Imperial fanftion in the year 
 438. A. C. 
 
 4 Justinian — Juftinian publifhed his Code about a 
 century afterwards in the year 530, and has preferved the 
 Refcripts of the preceding Emperors. 
 
 5 Ulpianj Paulus, &c. — The greateft part of this 
 ifland was governed wholly by the Civil Law for about 
 300 years from Claudius to Honorius, during which time 
 fome of the moft eminent Roman Lawyers, as Ulpian, 
 Paulus, and Papinian, prelided in the Courts of Juflice of 
 this country. 
 
 ^ GoTHOFREDus — Dionyfius Gothoffcdus, an eminent 
 Civilian, born at Paris in the year 1549, praftifed at Gene- 
 va in the year 1 606, publifhed in one large volume the 
 whole body of the Civil Law or Corpus Juris Cmilis, 
 
 ' Cujacius — ///<? Margarita Ci^ilium, &c. Vid. Scali- 
 gerian : the inofl, eminent Civilian and moft extraordinary
 
 Le5l. III.~] pleader's guide. 23 
 
 Though ftill they keep their ancient ftate. 
 Their grandeur, dignity, and weight. 
 And claim refpeft like veteran beaux. 
 Or mountebanks in tarnifh'd clothes. 
 Since 'Edward from his fubjefts broke 
 The bondage of the Roman yoke. 
 Are but a vain and empty fliade 
 Without the fanftion and the aid. 
 The forms, the procefs, and the mode 
 Coercive of the Britifh Code. 
 
 How vain's the Civil Law's ' Citation, 
 The"' Libel, '' Oath, and '' Fulmination, 
 
 Genius of his time ; he was born at Thouloufe in 1520, 
 and taught and pradifed the Civil Law at Bourges. His 
 works were publiflied at Paris in ten volumes, in the year 
 1659. 
 
 8 Edward — Edward the Firft put a period to the im- 
 portant ftruggle between the Laws of England and Rome. 
 Under his difcipline the Laws of England obtained a com- 
 plete and decifive viftory. Black- Com, 
 
 9 Citation — Is a fummons to appear before an Ecclefiafti- 
 cal judge. It contains five material points : ift. Name of 
 the Judge and ftile of the Court. 2. Defendant's name.
 
 24 pleader's guide. [^Bookl. 
 
 Which Surrogate is wont to flied 
 By wholefale on the culprit's head ! — 
 
 3. The day and place of appearance. 4. Plaintiffs name. 
 5. The caufe. Citations are of various kinds, either 
 general or fpecial, inhibitory or intimatory, or 'vUs et 
 ffiodis, or Prerogative Citations. For a more particular 
 account, I refer the reader to the Proftors Praclice. 
 
 *° Lihel, or Libellus, in the Ecclefiaftical Courts, an- 
 fwers to the Declaration in our Law, being a Charge 
 drawn in writing on behalf of the Plaintiff, to which the 
 Defendant Is obliged to anfwer. A Libel, according to 
 Lanfranc, cap. quoniam de Petition, is defined the Lawyer's 
 Argument. 
 
 Quis, quid, coram quo, quo jure petatur, et a quo 
 Refte compofitus quifque Libellus habet- 
 
 Fragm. Vet. J-Cti. 
 
 Which is thus engllfhed by an eminent Proftor 
 
 Each Plaintiff and Defendant's name. 
 And eke the Judge who tries the fame, 
 The thing demanded, and the right whereby. 
 You urge to have it granted inftantly, 
 He doth a Libell right and well compofe. 
 Who forms the fame omitting none of thofe, 
 
 " Oath — In the Spiritual Court the anfwer of the Plain- 
 tiff is put in upon Oath, which prafticc was adopted in the
 
 LeB. III.'] pleader's guide. 25 
 
 Did not the Shrieval arm exempt 
 His Brutumfulmen from contempt. 
 And lend a ' ' Writ to back the curfes 
 Which he fo pioufly difperfes. 
 With eafe Refpondent might evade 
 The laws by Priefts and Bigots made, 
 
 time of the clerical Chancellors, and has continued ever 
 fince. 
 
 " Culmination — Denunciation of Ecclefiaftical Cenfures^ 
 or Excommunication, of which there are two kinds, the 
 major and the minor ; the firft is an exclufion from the 
 Communion of Holy Church, and the company of the 
 faithful ; the fecond is an exclufion from the Sacrament, 
 and divine worfhip : Venatorius de fen. Excomm. This 
 latter is generally paffed upon obftinate delinquents, re- 
 fufmg to appear upon Citation. The operative words 
 were of old, Aiifioritate Dei Patris Om'/ipotentis, el Spiritns 
 fan fit, et heata: Dei genetricis Marine omniumque fandorum 
 excommunicamus et a limitibus fand^ matris Ecclejla fequejira- 
 mus, iSc. Leg. Wic. 
 
 '^ A Writ — The Significavity or Writ de Excommunicato 
 capiendo, is here alluded to, which is a writ ifluing out of 
 Chancery, and fo called either from the caufe which gives 
 birth to it, viz. the Bilhop's certificate, or fignifica^vity 
 that the Defendant has flood excommuicate for the fpace 
 of forty days, the time allotted for his abfolution and re-
 
 26 pleader's guide. \^Book /. 
 
 Their forms and fees of abfolution, 
 And fchemes of Chriflian perfecution. 
 For while his Soul was doom'd to fmart, 
 His Body might in peace depart. 
 E'en He who erft his Judgments hurl'd 
 With vengeance oer the Chriflian world, 
 Pull'd down the mighty from their feats, 
 Crufh'd empires with his holy threats, 
 Abfolv'd our fouls, our fins forgave. 
 
 And promis'd every w and k 
 
 Celeftial beds ******* 
 
 
 
 [Here the manufctipt is unperfe^i. 
 
 * 
 
 % 
 
 ipt "K ^ ^ ^ 
 
 * 
 
 * 
 
 * * % « * 
 
 * 
 
 Since then to Alfred's potent fway 
 Justinian's Genius mufl; give way. 
 To Serjeant's coifs, Civilian's hoods, 
 Justinian's Inftitute to Wood's, 
 
 conciliation, or from its efFedls, in empowering the (heriff 
 to take cind imprifon the Refpondent in the county goal 
 until he is reconciled to Holy Church.
 
 Le£i, III.~\ pleader's guide. 27 
 
 What boots it that your Youth is fpent 
 In dull ' * Cimmerian cloyfler pent ? 
 Why brood ye o er the toilfome page 
 Like Pupils of the Samian Sage 
 In * Silence, till the cheerful Sun 
 Has twice feven years his circuit run. 
 Poring o'er Puffendorf and Grotius, 
 Ye learned fons of Theodosius ? 
 Say when your golden hours begin 
 What are your rents and comings-in? 
 Oh ! fay, for you can befl inform us. 
 Good Doftor Drone, and Do6lor 
 
 DORMOUS, 
 
 What mean thofe Periwisjs enormous? 
 
 * In dark Cimmerian defert ever dwell. 
 
 Milton. 
 
 Cimmerian — The Cimmerii were a people in Italy, 
 near the Lake Averno, who lived in caves under ground, 
 inacceffible to the rays of the fun, where the Sibylls gave 
 out their Oracles. Sec Horn. Odyff. xi. 14. 
 
 TiBULLus iv. 1. 6. 5'. 
 * Silence— The year's filence impofed on the Doftors of 
 the Civil Law, on their becoming advocates, as the condi- 
 tion upon which they are admitted to plead in the Ecclefi- 
 aftical Courts,
 
 28 PLEADER'S GUIDE. [Book I. 
 
 Can you upon your Oath declare 
 That all thofe coftly loads of hair 
 Are the clear produce of your gains, 
 The clean net Harveft of your brains ? 
 Are ye Proprietors of thefe. 
 Or merely Ufufruftu'ries ? 
 I grant that Matrimonial Jars, 
 Rapine, Adultery, and Wars, 
 By others deem'd the worft of curfes. 
 Have done you Juflice, fill'd your purfes,' 
 And prov'd themfelves no bad refources. 
 But in your flarving times of Peace, 
 When naval condemnations ceafe. 
 And marriages are held in force 
 By that conftruftion in Divorce 
 Which lately caus'd fo much confufion 
 Touching the doftrine of Collufion, 
 That Hufbands now by Wives cornuted 
 Are patiently to Bucks tranfmuted. 
 And ne er ap{)ly to cunning men 
 To brmg them to their Shapes again.
 
 LeB. III.'] PLEADER'S GUIDE. 29 
 
 Your vifages, I mufl conclude, 
 
 Will much increafe in Longitude ; 
 
 Peace which brins^s blelTmcrs to the Nation 
 
 Will make a Lent of long Vacation, 
 
 Your Clients when they bring their Cafes 
 
 Will read Good Friday in your faces. 
 
 And ev'ry individual cheek 
 
 Remind them of an Ember week. 
 
 Thank Heav'n, in War as well as Peace 
 
 My perfon thrives, and fees increafe ; 
 
 Not e'en the wretches I undo 
 
 Will look fo woebegone as You ; 
 
 But though our feparate walks we take, 
 
 Though our refpe6tive Planets make 
 
 Such difference 'twixt OurfeK'es and You, 
 
 Since two congenial Trades we woo. 
 
 Both in the Folly of Mankind 
 
 Such Comfort and Advantage find : 
 
 Both to the field of battle go. 
 
 Like Swifs to fight for Friend or Foe ; 
 
 I much cfteem fuch worthy neighbours. 
 
 And much your fmiles will cheer my labours.
 
 30 pleader's guide. ^Bookl. 
 
 While to my Kinfman I impart 
 The fecrets of the Pleading art. 
 Teach him the heft and readied way 
 To harafs and fecure his prey. 
 Shew him the praftice of Attaching, 
 Di/iraining, hunting down and catching, 
 In Trefpafs how to fpread his net. 
 In Cafe, in Trover, or in Debt, 
 And not to fpread alone, but draw 
 Aflignments, and demur in Law ; 
 Then when the Iflue is enroll'd. 
 And at the Bar the Story told. 
 Give him with Eloquence and Grace 
 So well to varnifh o'er the Cafe, 
 That e'en the Judges curious eye 
 Shall fcarce its rotten parts defcry. 
 And though the fa6ls as noon-day clear 
 Againft his Client's caufe appear. 
 Give him with fuflian and bombaft 
 So thick a fog o'er truth to caft, 
 With words of fuch due fize and fitnefs 
 To badger and confound a witnefs.
 
 Le5l, III.'] pleader's guide. 31 
 
 That all who hear him (hall confefs 
 
 For language, manner, and addrefs. 
 
 He fairly equals in renown 
 
 Thofe two choice Heroes of the Gown, 
 
 So fam'd for Ciceronian Eafe 
 
 And Demofthenic ' aeinoths, 
 
 Thofe Neftors of the Britifh forum, 
 
 Th' illuftrious Bother'um and Bore'um. 
 
 But fince in thefe diftrefsful days 
 When Hunger prompts Poetic Lays, 
 And Bards who feel no other fire 
 Than what th' Aonian nymphs infpire. 
 No cordial fip fave what diftils 
 From ''Aganippe's purling rills. 
 Retiring from the Vales of Pindus 
 To garret vile with darken 'd windows. 
 
 Cum defertis Aganippes 
 
 Vallibus efuriens migraret in atria Clio. 
 
 Juv, Sat,7. lin.6. 
 
 ' AEIN0TH2 — A charafter of oratory, which at once 
 unites acutenefs, energy, and perfeverance. See Demoft. 
 Thucyd- Ifocrat. fajjim'
 
 32 pleader's guide. \^Book I. 
 
 Are forc'd by lofty invocations 
 To fwell their meager publications. 
 And while they reft in time of need 
 To bait the Pegafean Steed, 
 Implore fome Deity's kind favour 
 To give their taftelefs rhymes a flavour, 
 I, who by Law and Juftice claim 
 As fair pretenfions to the fame, 
 Shall beg fome Godhead to attend 
 And help me to my Journey's end. 
 And lengthen out by frequent paufes 
 My Leftures, as IVe done my Caufes. 
 
 And firft bright Cynthius VWfoSpcen 
 From hallow'd fount of Hippocrene, 
 And Jum?}wns from th' Aonian Grove 
 The Daughters of Olympian Jove ; 
 But if thofe fweet harmonious Maids 
 Difdain to quit their vocal fhades. 
 Nor Cynthius will his Fount forfake — 
 To gloomy Dis my prayer I'll make, 
 And feek the Acherontic Lake,
 
 Le5l. inr\ pleader's guide. 33 
 
 Down to the Hall of Erebus I'll go, 
 
 And ' move fome Daemon in the Courts below. 
 
 ^- Fleftere fi nequeo Superos Acheronta movebo. 
 
 ViRO.
 
 34 pleader's guide. [^Book I. 
 
 LECTURE IV. 
 
 Of the Common Law Procefs — Invocation to an 
 Infernal Spirit — Cy /Ac Original, or Ori- 
 ginal Writ — And Procef thereon — T'Ae High 
 Sheriff— His Executive Power — Of Law Fic- 
 tions, 
 
 i^OME then thou Goddefs of Contention, 
 Genius of Craft, and Circumvention, 
 You, who in parchment Robes array'd, 
 And tape-tied veil of vellum made. 
 With ink-ftain'd lips, and eye-balls blear'd. 
 And thumbs with wax and rofin fmear'd. 
 The baleful bitter draughts prepare 
 Of Poverty, Revenge, and Care, 
 And every tender tie remove 
 Of Amity and focial Love ; 
 Where'er you wield the Law's machine, 
 Whether at Lincoln's Inn you 're feen. 
 Or thofe fam'd walls where Serjeants deep. 
 And plodding Clerks their vigils keep,
 
 LeB, IVJ] pleader's guide. 35 
 
 Or at the Temple, as thy truft is. 
 Open the facred mint of Juftice, 
 Whate'er the learned haunt you love. 
 Where'er thy bufy footfteps move. 
 Say, if fome dire occafion leads 
 Two fimple wights to logger-heads, 
 Such as of late bred doleful dudgeon 
 'Twixt JoHN-A-GuLL, and John-a- 
 
 GUDGEON, 
 
 (Thole ill-ftarr'd Chiefs whofe wrath to fing 
 'Vent'rous I 'wake the trembling firing,) 
 What inftrument of dread import 
 Muft bring the parties into Court, 
 From Juries to obtain relief. 
 And juftice from a Counfel's brief? — 
 The* Writ — from Chancery it came, 
 And Pleaders muft adore the name. 
 The Writ, that works the public Good 
 Oft faves th'expence of Chriftian Blood: 
 
 * Tjj' Ta^^ o-^w£ 6iuy spi^i ^uvswe (iAa%£(76«i ; 
 Aji/jT; xai Aiog wo j. Homer. 
 
 D 2
 
 36 pleader's guide. l^Book I. 
 
 Oft, when two Champions burn with rage 
 And pant in combat to engage, 
 Both fix'd their valour to proclaim. 
 Both refolutely bent to aim 
 (Whether with paper charg'd or lead) 
 A Pillol at each other's head, 
 Calmly fleps in, bids Reafon 'wake. 
 And Wrath her rafh refolves forfake, 
 The inflruments of Death rellrains 
 And fpares a trembling Hero's brains, 
 Yet loth to difappoint the Devil, 
 Involves them in a forer evil. 
 The word of evils 'tis confefs'd 
 (But guard this fecret in thy breaftj. 
 With Law entangles and turmoils. 
 And holds them in a Pleader's Toils — 
 The Writ * Original — the root 
 And mafter fpring of ev'ry fuit, 
 
 ' Original — This writ is fo called KaT'E^ox/iVf being 
 the writ which gives the Courts of Common Law Jurifdic- 
 tion, and that upon which all fubfequcnt Procefs is founded.
 
 LecL I V.J pleader's guide. 37 
 
 Which erft in mouldy "" hamper flept 
 
 By Lawyers Hanaper yclept. 
 
 Was held much learning to difplay 
 
 When Learning in her Cradle lay ; 
 
 Then firft its influence began 
 
 To charm like Eaftern Talifman, 
 
 In form grotefque, and antique guife. 
 
 Which Juftice did of old devife. 
 
 With Parchment wing and ^ fignet pendant 
 
 Flew forth to fummons the Defendant, 
 
 * Hamper or Hanaper — In Latin Haiiaperhim. The 
 Hanaper office\it\o'a<g% to the Common Law Court in Chan- 
 cery. Original Writs, in all matters of a civil nature 
 between fubjedl and fubjetl, were kept according to the 
 fimpliciiy of ancient times, in a hamper, as thofe in which 
 the interefts of the Crown were concerned were preferved 
 in a/mall bag, [i'l par^d bagci) which is the foundation of 
 what is now called the Petty bag office. 
 
 Black. Com, Vol. 3. c, 4. 
 
 ' Signet Fendant — " The Original Writs iffued out of 
 ** Chancery, becaufe when the Courts were but one, the 
 '* Chancellor held the Seal, therefore, when they v^ere 
 '* divided, he, ftill keeping the Seal, fealcd all Original
 
 38 pleader's guide. \^Book 1. 
 
 Stuttering abbreviations myftic 
 
 In fign and token cabaliflic, 
 
 Latin furcharg'd with Norman French, 
 
 Returnable to ^ Common Bench, 
 
 A mixture, which Hke that of Babel, 
 
 The Shrieve to conftrue was not able. 
 
 And though by Law no human creature 
 
 ^ Ad impojjibile tenetur. 
 
 Defendant at the Shrieve's command 
 
 Mufl at his peril underftand; 
 
 But He perhaps who lack'd the wit 
 
 To fcan tlie learning of the Writ, 
 
 Was much too wife at once to clofe 
 
 And grapple with his injured Foes, 
 
 «' Writs. By this means the Seal was a Check upon the 
 ** other Courts, to know what Caufe was there." 
 
 GiLBZRT Com. P/eas, p. 2. 
 
 4 Returnable, Scc. — The Original being made returnable 
 in Common Pleas, gives the Court Jurifdiftion to hold Plea 
 of the matter therein fpecified, as it does in the King's 
 Bench when made returnable in that Court. 
 
 5 JJ impojjibile — Tht Law obliges no man to perform 
 impojfibilitiest
 
 Le5i. IVr\ pleader's guide. 39 
 
 Might rather wifh to be excus'd 
 
 From taking pains to be abus'd. 
 
 Content his perfon to ^ eloign. 
 
 Or flay at home and cafl ' i'Jfoign : 
 
 But though the Law in modern days 
 
 ^ Three barbarous Tongues no more difplays, 
 
 '^ Eloign — Eloigner^ Fr. — To remove, or fend away. 
 
 " Effoign or EJfoinCi Fr. Effoniuniy Latin, — fignifies an 
 excufe for him who is fummoned to appear to the Original 
 Writ. The original writ is made returnable within fifteen 
 days, the Effoign day is the firft of three days next imme- 
 diately preceding that on which the Court fits for the dif- 
 patch of Bufinefs, and on which the Defendant is obliged 
 to appear to the Writ. 
 
 * Three harharoiu^ &c. — Till the reign of Edward the 
 Third, all Proceedings at Law were in the old Norman 
 French, but by a Statute of that King's reign, {36. c. 15.) 
 it was enabled that all Pleas fhould be pleaded, &c- in the 
 Englifh tongue, but be entered and enrolled in Latin. 
 The Latin which fucceeded the French, and which was in 
 truth a compofition of French, Englifh, and Latin, con- 
 tinued in ufe for 400 years, without interruption, till the 
 Ufurpation of Cromwell, when the language of the Record 
 was altered into Englifh, but at the Reftoration, the Latin 
 language was again ufed, and continued till the year 1730. 
 when it was finally altered and fettled by 4 Geo. 2d,c. 26.
 
 40 pleader's guide. ^Book L 
 
 Like Pluto's triple headed monfter. 
 And Pleaders can their Pleadings conftrue. 
 Though Sheriffs now the Writ's intent 
 Are taught by Aft of Parliament, 
 And all mankind fo wife are reckon'd 
 E'er fmce the fourth of George the Second, 
 That none againfl the Laws in ufe 
 From Ignorance can plead Excufe, 
 Still left the Suit fhould be delay 'd. 
 And Juftice at her Fountain ftay'd, 
 A ^ Capias is conceiv'd and bom 
 Ere yet th' Original is drawn, 
 
 9 Ca/>ias — A Writ fo called from the moft operative word 
 in it, is of two forts, the one a Capias ad Refpondendum, 
 before judgment, being a Procefs to compel the Defendant 
 to anfwer, as it occurs in this place, and the other a 
 Capias ad SatisfacieTidum, which is a Writ of Execution. 
 The pracice here alluded to, is that which is now in ufe, 
 and was introduced on the difcontinuance of real Pledges, 
 for eafe and expedition, whereby the Original is become in 
 effeft a mere ufelefs and unnecefTary procefs, but neverthe- 
 lefs confidexed as indifpenfable in warranting the Capias, 
 and giving the Court Jurifdiclion, and is therefore fup-
 
 Le^,IV.~\ pleader's guide. 41 
 
 To juftify the Court's proceedings. 
 
 Its Forms, its ProcefTes, and Pleadings, 
 
 And thus, by ways and means unknown 
 
 To all but Heroes of the Gown, 
 
 A Viftory full oft is won 
 
 Ere Battle fairly is begun ; 
 
 Tis true, the wifdom of our Laws 
 
 Has made the Effeft precede the Caufe, 
 
 But let this Solecifm pafs — 
 
 *" I ft Ji Eli one cequitas — 
 
 pofed to be aftually fubfifting before the Capias is fued out, 
 although it is notorious that after the Roll is made up, 
 the Curfitor makes out the Original to warrant the 
 Capias, and delivers it to the Filazer to be filed with the 
 Ciijios Bre'vium. 
 
 '^ In fiSlione Juris conjiftit <:equitas — Legal fiiiions are 
 grounded on Principles of Equity
 
 42 pleader's guide. l^Book I. 
 
 LECTURE V. 
 
 Procefs continued — Of the Writs Latitat — 
 Capias — Quo Minus — OJ filing Common 
 Bail — OJ Special Eail^ or Bail to the Ac- 
 tion. 
 
 JLlGHT lie the fculptur'd Marble o'er his 
 
 Breaft, 
 Blaz'd be his Virtues, and his Sins fupprefs'd. 
 And wherefoe'er his bones are laid 
 Thrice honour'd be that Lawyer's Shade, 
 Who Truth with Nonfenfe firft combin'd. 
 And Equity with Fiftion join'd. 
 And had the goodnefs to alTign us 
 * Latitat/ Capias, and ^ Quo minus! 
 
 * Latitat — A Writ fo termed becaufe it fuggefts, as 
 the ground of the power therein given to the ; herifF, A 
 Fiction in Law, viz. that the Defendant is not to be 
 found in the County of JVliddlefex to be taken by Bill of
 
 Le^. V.'\ pleader's guide. 43 
 
 Melodious Sounds ! at once they cheer 
 My Spirits, and regale mine ear. 
 What Bard howe'er in Ficlion vers'd, 
 By xhywitfuhppendd, and coerc'd, 
 
 Middlefex, as it is called, but lurks and lies hid, or, as 
 it is exprefled. runs up and do~Mn fecretinghimjilf, within the 
 Bailiwick of the Sheriff, to whom the writ is direfted. 
 F. N. B. 78- It is in praftice the firft procefs in order to 
 compel an appearance in the King's Bench, in the like 
 manner as the Capias is in the Common Pleas : the Capiat 
 proceeds as was before fhewn upon a Fidion, that the 
 Original had been previoufly fued out, and the Latitat 
 iffues in the King's Bench upon the like FiSion, that the 
 Bill, which is called the Bill of Middlefex in that Court, 
 has af^ually iffued to the Sheriff of that County, and been 
 returned as ineffedual. 
 
 ^ Capias — Vid. ante, p. 40, in notes. 
 
 ^ ^0 Minus — Is the firft Procefs in the Exchequer, as 
 the Latitat is in the King's Bench j it iffues upon a furmife 
 that the Plaintiff is the King's Debtor, which ferves to give 
 the Court a Jurifdidion. It is called ^0 Minus becaufe 
 the Plaintiff, being for this reafon fuppofed to be the King's 
 Debtor, it is fuggefted as of courre> that he is the lefs 
 able to pay the Debt by reafon of the Injury complained of 
 in the Adion.
 
 44 pleader's guide. [^Book 1, 
 
 Due homage to their worth (hall pay 
 And all their various powers difplay ? 
 If haply yohn-a-Stile provoke 
 The legal fight 'gainft John-a-Noke, 
 The Latitat the foe befieges 
 And baffles him in Banco Regis. 
 Skill'd with '^ Ac-Etiams to perplex 
 And foil with ' Bills of Middle/ex, 
 
 ^ Ac-Etiam — An Ac-Etiam is a Claufe inferted in the 
 Latitat, by virtue of the 13th Car. 2. c- 2. which enadlsi 
 that no writ of Trefpafsfhould hold Defendant to bail, &c. 
 any further than an Appearance, unlefs the true Caufe of 
 Aclion was exprefied in the Writ. And therefore in a 
 Latitat \t runs thus, after the words to anfwer A. B. in a 
 Plea, &c. And A lso to a Bill of the faid A. againft the faid 
 B. to be exhibited according to the Cuftom of our Court 
 
 before us for j^ upon promifes, or debt, as the Cafe 
 
 may be. 
 
 5 BillofMiddlefex—k Bill of Mid dlf ex is a Precept di- 
 refted or prefumed to be direfted to the Sheriff of that 
 County in which the Court of King's Bench fits, for if 
 it fat in any other County, it would be termed a Bill of 
 that County ; it is called a Bill, and fignedPf^ Rillamy to 
 diftingulfti it from the Original. It formerly iffued to war- 
 rant the Tejlatum, or as it is now called the Latitat, of
 
 Led. V.~] pleader's guide. 45 
 
 Quo MINUS guides the wordy war 
 And ^ mates him at th' Exchequer Bar, 
 While Capias is rejoic'd to feize 
 And plunder him at ' Common Fleas : 
 Nor will it boot th' indignant Noke 
 Or God or Goddefs to invoke. 
 Nor God nor Goddefs fhall convey 
 His perfon from th' impending fray, 
 Doom'd in the A6lion to appear, 
 ='E'en though the ambient Cloud he wear. 
 
 rio^^yv y\z^a xtui. ^1>j(x (ppovk^g ^Ooucm. Hom. 
 
 At Venus obfcuro gradientes acre fepfit 
 Et multo nebulae circum Dea fudit amiatu. 
 
 ViRG. Mn, 
 
 which above ; but modern praftice has confolidated the 
 two writs in Effeft, by reciting in the Latitat that the Bill 
 ofMiddleft'x has already iffiied, which is generally y^^. 
 
 ^ Mates him — The Exchequer took its name a Tabula 
 ad qtiam njftdebant. Camden Brit. p. 113. The Table is 
 covered with cloth refembling a Chefs board, whereon 
 when certain of the King's accounts are made up, the fums 
 are marked and fcored with Counters. Blue. Com. vol. 5. 
 p. 44. 
 
 ' Common Pleas — Communia Placita, the Court of Com- 
 mon Pleas holds connufance of all Pleas which are not of
 
 46 pleader's guide. ^Book L 
 
 Which Laertiades of yore. 
 Or Citherea's OEspring wore. 
 For lo ! a grifly Shrieval Band 
 That round the feat of Juftice ftand, 
 ' Give dreadful Note of Preparation 
 hxiAfummons him to litigation. 
 Force him the doubtful war to wage. 
 To file his ' Sureties and engage, 
 Or if the Summons he refifts, 
 *° Enter his name upon the Lifts, 
 
 the Crown, and which being between fubjeft and fubjeft, 
 are properly denominated Common PI as. Some have fup- 
 pofed that the word Pleas is Ihort for the word Pleafures, 
 and that the term Common t hast as applied to the prafticc 
 of the Court, means the Pleajura of the Community. 
 
 ^ Note of Preparation— TYt Englijli Notice is here alluded 
 to, which is ufed in all cafes where the Defendant is not 
 to be held to Bail. 
 
 9 Sureties — Viz. Common Bail, MeJJ'rs. John Doe and 
 Richard Roe. 
 
 '° Enter his name — In cafe the Defcdant fails to file 
 Common bad ox enter his Appearafice, the otatate f2 Geo. 
 Firft, empowers the Plaintiff to f«/fr«« Appearance for him y
 
 LeEt. V.'] pleader's guide. 47 
 
 Where each blefl FiEiion is enroU'd 
 The legal confli6l to uphold. 
 All for the wifefl ends conftruded. 
 That Suits may better be conduced. 
 That every Lawyer in his Station 
 May reap the fruits of his Vocation, 
 That Pleas, and Pleaders may prevail. 
 And Juftice equal hold her golden Scale, 
 
 But yet alas ! not all confpire 
 Such les^al wifdom to admire. 
 There are of Writs who difapprove, 
 " Dread Bail below and Bail above. 
 
 and to leave a Declaration in the proper Office, and upon 
 giving him Notice to plead thereto, to proceed to Judg- 
 ment. 
 
 " Bail heloiv and bail abo've — The word 5<7/7 is derived 
 from the French bailler, to deli'very becaufe the Defendant 
 uhen arreftcd, is delivered over to his Sureties, who bind 
 themfelves for his forth-coming at a day and place certain. 
 Bail beloiu is the Bail to the Sheriff, taken by him, upon 
 the Execution of the Writ of Arreft. This fpecies of Bail 
 is called Special, as contradiftinguilhed from Common Bail, 
 beforementioned, the Sureties being real and fubftantial 
 bondfmen, and not fiflitious, as in the cafe oi Common Bail-
 
 48 pleader's guide. \_Book I, 
 
 Whom worfe than Goblins damn'd, the fight 
 Of Sheriff's myrmidons affright. 
 The filver Tag, and vermil Stamp 
 Chill to the foul with horror damp : 
 Thefe fcent the Procefs from afar. 
 And fly the Din of Parchment War. 
 But let the Plaintiff, ere he fue 
 In del?t or cafe for money due. 
 Swear to the fum, the writ indorfe. 
 And let the Shrieve faid writ enforce. 
 Be quick to execute, but flow 
 To take the proffer d bail 6e/oWj 
 
 Bail aio-ue is the Bail in Court, upon the Defendant's ap- 
 pearance at the return of the Writ, or four days after. 
 It is likewife termed Bmi to the Adion, and is efFefted by 
 what is called Jiifiijying Bail, or the Oath of the Sureties 
 upon examination as to their competency and refponfibility. 
 
 " In debt, &c. — By Debt, or aftion of Debt, is meant 
 an Aftion for a determinate fpecific fum, and is ufually 
 brought upon Specialties, i. e. Debts arifing upon Deeds 
 and Inftruments under feal ; the ordinary remedy for inde- 
 terminate fums is by Action on the Caji^ as it is called, i e. 
 upon the particular circumftances of the cafe this remedy is
 
 Le^. F.] pleader's guide. 49 
 
 Left with the Plaintiff's Suit embroil'd, 
 The * ^ Shrieve at his own weapons foil'd, 
 The bond aftign'd, the Debtor fled, 
 Himfelf Defendant in his ftead. 
 
 granred at Common Law, and by virtue of the Statute of 
 Weftminfter, the fecond, 13 Ed. I. &c. 
 
 By 1 2 Geo. I. the Plaintiff is obliged to make affidavit 
 of his Debt, and that the fum due is ^10. or upwards, 
 before he is entitled to hold Defendant to Bail, and if he 
 is defirous of taking a Security above £^0. he is by the 
 Statute of 13 Car. II. c, 2. obliged not only to fwear to 
 the Sum, but have it inferted in the body of the Writ, or 
 Procefs. The Pratlice is to mark the Sum fworn to by 
 the Plaintiff on the back of the Writ, e. gr. Rail by Affi. 
 da'vit affiled for £10. and the Sheriff is then required to 
 arreft the Defendant ; where the Debt is under j^ 10. the 
 Defendant can only be ferved with a Copy of the Writ or 
 Procefs, with an Englifh Notice fubjoined. 
 
 '5 The Shrievet &c. — If the Sheriff accept bail, which 
 afterward prove infolvent, and does not caufe fufRcient bail 
 to be put in above, he will be himfelf refponfible to the 
 Plaintiff. 
 
 The Sheriff is liable to an Aftion for taking infufficient 
 Bail, as well as to Amerciament, Raymond 425. Salk, 
 99. Sid. 96. 2 Saund, 58, 59. 
 E
 
 50 pleader's guide. [Book L 
 
 Be doom'd with curfes to bewail 
 The horrors of infolvent Bail, 
 His folly to his Coft expofe. 
 And bear the weight of others' woes ; 
 Till by the Plaintiff vex'd, and fped, 
 Frefh Suits impending o'er his head. 
 He feels in dreams, or feems to feel 
 '^ His own Bum-bailifiPat his heel. 
 Flies his own writs, and ftrives to fhun 
 Th' ideal form of frightful Dun, 
 "Which e'en in Sleep his arm affails. 
 Nor aught his Shrieval wand avails 
 To conjure down the redlefs Sprite, 
 Or fpeed him in his fancied flight. 
 
 '■♦ Bum-lailiffy is a corruption of the word bound-bai- 
 lifF, or fpecial bailiff, as contradiftinguiihed from the Bailiff 
 of a Hundred,
 
 Ledi. Vir\ pleader's guide. 51 
 
 LECTURE VI. 
 
 Of Procefs againjl privileged Perfons — Of the 
 Distringas — Its phyfcal and chirurgical 
 Qualities — Procefs to Outlawry, and the 
 Party's Appearance upon the Capias Utla- 
 
 GATUM. 
 
 J_,IVES there a Senator unplac'd, 
 
 Already ruin'd and difgrac'd, 
 
 A Legiflator who retires 
 
 Before his Privilege expires. 
 
 Sans Houfe, fans Land, fans Goods and 
 
 Chattels, 
 
 Or party friend to fight his battles ? 
 
 No writ his footfteps can detain. 
 
 No procefs can his Skin diftrain. 
 
 And though a fudden Dissolution, 
 
 Might fit him for an Execution, 
 
 'Twere beft a prudent courfe to take. 
 
 And fpare him for his Country's fake, 
 
 E 2
 
 52 pleader's guide. [^Book I. 
 
 For could a Member's fkin when dried 
 
 Make Parchment like * John Zifca's hide. 
 
 Would it not favour of extortion 
 
 Should ev'ry Lawyer take his portion ? 
 
 Great heroes howfoe'er inclin'd 
 
 To harafs and deflroy mankind. 
 
 Ne'er flefh the fleel, or roll the thunder, 
 
 Without fome hopes of fame and plunder. 
 
 And Lawyers who no lefs delight in 
 
 The Trade of quarrelling and fighting, 
 
 Should be as kind and tender hearted 
 
 To thofe who with their Cafh have parted, 
 
 Ne'er from the paths of Honor fwerve, 
 
 But hold compalfion in referve. 
 
 And where they fee no hopes of booty 
 
 Abate the rigour of their duty. 
 
 Tis true, there are, in whom you'll find 
 
 Birth, rplendor, pride, and meannefs join'd. 
 
 ' John Zifca — This anecdote of John Zifca is recorded 
 in Mr. Burke's celebrated letter to the Duke of Bedford, 
 which leaves little room to doubt but that this very eminent 
 and ingenious writer muft have obtained a fight of Mr. 
 Surrebutter's Profeffional Lectures in the original M.S.
 
 Led. VL] pleader's guide. 53 
 
 Who Writs by Privilege elude. 
 
 Yet labour for the public Good, 
 
 Againft a Nation's debts inveigh. 
 
 Yet fcorn a Tradefman's bill to pay, 
 
 Who pains and penalties create 
 
 For grand Defaulters in the State, 
 
 Yet fain would 'fcape the Sheriff's fearch 
 
 And leave a Plaintiff in the lurch ; 
 
 But thou, O Shrieve, art not the fon 
 
 Of that wife Jew King Solomon, 
 
 Nor canft thou claim the leaft pretence 
 
 To Common Law or common fenfe \ 
 
 Shouldft thou one legal ftep negle6l 
 
 Their ftubborn humours to corre6i:, 
 
 Takeyour' Dist ring as, come athwart em 
 
 And o^Qidite. fecundii?n artem : 
 
 * Dijtnngas, or Difaefs injinitt — This Writ commands 
 the She riff to diflrain the Defendant from time to time, 
 and continually afterwards, by taking his goods and the 
 profits of his Lands which are called Iffuesy and which by 
 the Common Law he forfeits to the King; but the Court 
 may direft the Ifuzs to be fold to defray xha reafonable 
 cofta of the PlainciiF. Rl. Cam,,
 
 54 pleader's guide. \^Book L 
 
 You'll find it, in its full extent, 
 A pretty ufeful inftrument, 
 For making I/fues with, the quicker 
 To drain their Cafii into th' Exchequer, 
 With this fame inilrument purfue 'em. 
 And drain them till you quite undo 'em ; 
 Work them, till thoroughly aggriev'd. 
 Of goods and chattels they're bereav'd : 
 In every legal operation 
 There's nothing like evacuation. 
 
 But is there one who unprote6led 
 Has long his Creditors neglefted. 
 Without the privilege to fliine 
 Or flumber in St. Stephen's (hrine, 
 A lazy wight, of fnugnefs fond. 
 Who'd fain from love of eafe abfcond, 
 And jufl has learn'd enough of Law 
 To make him all its ways abhor. 
 Has heard that ^ Qimre clai^fum fregit 
 May breed a monfter call'd " Elegit, 
 
 ^ Qjiiare daufum [regit — The V^ntoi Capias before men- 
 tioned as the leading procefs of the Court, is here alluded
 
 Led, F/.J pleader's guide. ^^ 
 
 Conceives that ^ Ca fas are vexatious, 
 And fhudders at a "" fieri facias? 
 If rich, do thou O Shrieve make fure 
 His goods or perfon to fecure. 
 Give Him by way of how d'ye do 
 A fmack of your Distrixngas too, 
 
 to under a different name ; if the Defendant is to be held 
 to bail, it is ufed with an ac. Eliam, (of which before) and 
 is called a bailable Capias ; if not, the EngliJJi Notice is fub- 
 joined, in lieu of the ac Edam., in purfuance of the 1 2 
 Geo. 1. and it is then called a common Claujum Jregit . 
 
 ^ Elegit — Is a Writ of Execution againfl: the Goods and 
 Chattels, and alfo one half of the Defendants Lands, to be 
 held by the Plaintiff until the Debt or Damages and Cofts 
 are fatisfied. 
 
 5 C a' fa's — A Ca' fa' as it is called, or Capias atfatisfa- 
 ciendiim, is a Writ of Execution direfted againft the Body 
 of the Defendant, in fatisfadion of the Plaintiff's debt. 
 
 ^ A Fim/<2a<2J is another Writ of Execution, diredling 
 the Sheriff to caufe to be made or levied, (facias ferij, 
 from the goods and chattels of the Defendant fufficient to 
 fatisfy the Plaintiff's debt and damages.
 
 ^6 pleader's guide. \_Book I, 
 
 But firft ' attach him, and attend 
 With Capias ad Refpondend\ 
 Let loofe the Dogs of War and furies, 
 'Testatum, Alias, andPLURiES; 
 
 ' Attack him — The Student willobferve the order of the 
 Procefs to Outlawry regularly purfued ; but it would fwell 
 thefe Notes to an inconvenient length, were the Editor to 
 dwell longer in detail upon the fubjeft than may be abfo- 
 lutely neceflary to illuftrate the Text. The Original or 
 Precipe has been already mentioned, which is followed by 
 the Attachment, or writ of Pone ; the Dijlringas and Capias 
 adfatisjacicndum, concerningwhich we have already treated. 
 
 * Tefcatum, or iejlatum Capias^ is a fecond Writ of Capias, 
 direfted to the Sheriff of another County upon the return 
 of the firft Capias, and is fo called from the principal word 
 that occurs in it ; it recites the former writ, and ftates that 
 it is tejlified or (te/iatum ejl) that the Defendant lurks or 
 wanders in the bailiwick of the Sheriff to whom the Writ is 
 dire<fled, and upon the Sheriff's return of wo?? ejl inventus, 
 there iffues fucceffively the alias Writ and the pluries Writ, 
 which are fo called becaufe after the words, " we command 
 you," fprctcipimusj the words ^fw^ alias, otficut pluries, 
 *' as we have formerly, or, •' as we have often commanded 
 you," occur in thefe Writs, as the reafon of their being 
 iffued.
 
 LeB. VI,'] pleader's guide. 57 
 
 But if at length non eji invenf. 
 At him again with ^ Exigent, 
 Proclaim him by the A6l's dire6lion 
 {AB 3 \Jl Eliz. 3^ Sedion) 
 Then fmite him as a Coup de Grace 
 With *° JJtlagatum Capias, 
 
 ExaBedy outlaw' d, and embruted, 
 His head to head of ** Wolf tranfmuted. 
 
 9 Exigent — If the Sheriff returns non ejl invent' upon all 
 the writs, a Writ oi Exigent may be fued out, which requires 
 the Sheriff to caufe the Defendant to be proclaimed, re- 
 quired, or exafted, in five County Courts fucceffively, 
 and if after being fo exafted, he does not appear, he is 
 outlawed. 
 
 '° Utlagatum Capias is the Writ authorizing the arreft of 
 the Defendant, and his Commitment to Prifon till the Out- 
 lawry is reverfed. 
 
 " Wolf. — Alluding to the ancient Common Law Doc- 
 trine of Outlawry, the punifhment whereof was Death, and 
 therefore an Outlaw was faid to bear caput Lupinum, be- 
 caufe any man might kill him as he might kill a wolf. 
 
 Utlagata et zvaviata, capita gerunt Lnpina quce ab omnibus 
 impune poterunt amputari, merito enim fine lege perire debent 
 qui feciindum legem vivere recufant. Procefs to Outlawry
 
 58 pleader's guide. [Book I. 
 
 Compel I'd by writ of Exigenter 
 The Lifts againft his will to enter. 
 See where the Captive Wretch in Court 
 Meet fubjeft both for gain and fport. 
 By Writ, as by the Cup of Circe, 
 Transform'd, and at the Plaintiff's mercy. 
 Stands like a Roman Gladiator, 
 To do a deed againft his nature ; 
 While we who compafs'd his undoing 
 Claim the fole merit of his ruin ; 
 For this we never fought your aid. 
 Ye Doftors of the Civil Trade, 
 Nor ever thank'd you for a Curfe 
 To help us to Defendant's purfe. 
 
 lies in all aflions vi et armis j by Stat. 13 Ed. I. it lies in 
 account; by 25 Ed. III. c. 17. it lies in Debt, Detinue 
 and Replevin ; and by ig Hen. VII. it lies in Cafe and in 
 Trefpafs ; it is now confidered, and ufcd only as a proccfs 
 to compel an Appearance, and may be reverfed upon the 
 Defendant or his Attorney appearing in Court, and in- 
 demnifying the Plaintiff in full Cofts.
 
 Le6l. VL] PLEADER'S GUIDE. 59 
 
 Or flrip him of a fingle Chattel, 
 Ye learned votaries of Vattel. 
 
 Now Doftors, reperufe this Cafe, 
 And (ludy the Defendant's face, 
 Read in his looks the operation 
 Of legal charm and conjuration, 
 A woeful vifage worn with Cares '- 
 Such as an exil'd Patriot wears — 
 But could you gain a fight of mine, 
 You'd take me for a fleek Divine, 
 Whofe fmooth Cherubic features fiiew 
 The fruits which from good living flow ; 
 Tis true the nature of my Face 
 Bears fewer figns of inward Grace, 
 Though fomething on the whole you'll find 
 Which indicates no vulgar mind, 
 A certain graceful tinge of copper. 
 That 's quite profeffional and proper : 
 But by what charm or magic fpell 
 / look fo plump, and thrive fo well, 
 So gay, fo blithe in my demeanour. 
 While you fo fplenetic and lean are.
 
 60 PLEADER'S GUIDE. [_Book I. 
 
 If I am cited to confefs. 
 
 The Mufe (hall venture to digrefs. 
 
 In fportive Rhyme of artlefs mould 
 
 Her " plain unvarnifh'd tale unfold". 
 
 And cheerfully obey your Summons, 
 
 Good Gentlemen of Doc TORS Commons.
 
 Le^, Vlir\ pleader's guide. 6i 
 
 LECTURE VII. 
 
 An Epifode containing authentic Memoirs of 
 Mr. Surrebutter's Profejfwnal Career, 
 
 Whoe'er has drawn a Special Plea, 
 
 Has heard of old Tom Tewkesbury, 
 
 Deaf as a poft, and thick as muftard, 
 
 He aim'd at Wit, and bawl'd and blufter'd. 
 
 And died a Niji prius Leader — 
 
 That Genius was my Special Pleader — 
 
 That great man's office I attended 
 
 By Hawk and Buzzard recommended. 
 
 Attorneys both of wondrous (kill 
 
 To pluck the Goofe, and drive the Quill ; 
 
 Three years I fat his fmoky room in. 
 
 Pens, paper, ink, and pounce confuming. 
 
 The fourth, when Ejjbign Day begun. 
 
 Joyful I hail'd th' aufpicious Sun,
 
 62 pleader's guide. ^Book I. 
 
 Bade Tewkesbury and Clerk adieu, 
 
 (* Purification, Eighty-two) 
 
 Of both I wafli'd my hands ; and though 
 
 With nothing for my ca[h to (hew. 
 
 But Precedents fo fcrawl'd and blurr'd, 
 
 I fcarce could read one fingle word. 
 
 Nor in my books of Common Place 
 
 One feature of the Law could trace. 
 
 Save Buzzard's nofe and vifage thin. 
 
 And Hawk's deficiency of Chin, 
 
 Which I while lolling at my eafe 
 
 Was wont to draw inftead of Pleas ; 
 
 My chambers I equipt complete, 
 
 Made Friends, hired Books, and gave to eat ; 
 
 If haply to regale my friends on. 
 
 My Mother fent a haunch of Ven'fon, 
 
 ' Purification — The morrow of the Purification of the 
 Blefled Virgin Mary is one of the return days of Hilary 
 Term.
 
 LeB, VII.^ pleader's guide. 63 
 
 I molt refpeftfully entreated 
 
 The choiceft Company to eat it, 
 
 Z<?w/, old Buzzard, Hawk, and Crow, 
 
 Lem, Tom Thorn back. Shark, and Co, 
 
 Attorneys all as keen and (launch 
 
 As e'er devour'd a Client's haunch ; 
 
 Nor did I not their Clerks invite 
 
 To tafle faid ven'fon hafn'd at night, 
 
 For well I knew that hopeful Fry 
 
 My rifing merit would defcry. 
 
 The fame litigious courfe purfue. 
 
 And when to fifti of prey they grew, 
 
 " By love of food and conteft led. 
 
 Would haunt the fpot where once they fed; 
 
 Thus having with due circumfpedion 
 
 Form'd my profefTional connexion. 
 
 My defk with Precedents I ftrew'd, 
 
 Turn'd critic, danc'd, or penn'd an ode. 
 
 Studied the Ton, became a free 
 
 And eafy man of Gallantry : 
 
 ■* Egit amor Dapis atque Pugnjc. Hor»
 
 64 pleader's guide. [^Book L 
 
 But if while capering at my Glafs, 
 
 Or toying with fome fav'rite Lafs, 
 
 I heard th'aforefaid Hawk a-coming, 
 
 Or Buzzard on the ftaircafe humming, 
 
 At once the fair angelic maid 
 
 Into my Coal-hole I convey 'd. 
 
 At once, with ferious look profound 
 
 Mine eyes commercing with the ground, 
 
 I feem'd like one eftrang'd to fleep, 
 
 " And fix'd in cogitation deep," 
 
 Sat motionlefs, and in my hand I 
 
 Held my ^ Do6lrina Placiiandi, 
 
 And though I never read a page in't. 
 
 Thanks to that fhrewd well-judging Agent, 
 
 My Sifter's huft)and, Mr. Shark, 
 
 Soon got fix Pupils and a Clerk, 
 
 ' DoEtrina Placitandi," or the art and fcience of Special 
 Pleading, a book fo entitled, (hewing where and in what 
 Cafes, and by what Perfons, Pleas, as well real as per- 
 fonal, and mixed, may be properly pleaded, '*
 
 LeB, VIir\ pleader's guide. 6^ 
 
 Five Pupils were my {lint, the other 
 I took to compliment his Mother ; 
 All round me came with ready money 
 Like Hybla bees furcharg'd with honey, 
 Which, as they prefs'd it fo genteelly, 
 And begg'd me to accept fo freely, 
 Seem'd all fo fond of Special Pleading, 
 And all fo certain of fucceeding, 
 I, who am always all compliance, 
 As well to Pupils as to Clients, 
 Took as genteelly as they paid it. 
 And freely to my purfe convey'd it ; 
 That I might praftically fhew. 
 And they in fpecial manner know 
 Ere they began their Pleas to draw. 
 What an ''Assumpsit meant in Law — 
 
 ■♦ Ajfumpjit — A form of Aftion fo called. When one 
 man becomes legally indebted to another, the Law implies 
 a Promife of Payment, for which, what is called indtbi' 
 tatus affumpftt lies.
 
 66 pleader's guide. [_Book L 
 
 To wii for divers weighty fums 
 
 Of lawful cajh at Pleader's Rooms, 
 
 By me faid Pleader, as was prudent, 
 
 ' Had and received to ufe of Student ; 
 
 In fhort, I a61ed as became me. 
 
 And w^here's the Pleader that can blame me ? 
 
 Not one of all the trade that I know. 
 
 E'er fails to take the Readyrino, 
 
 "Which haply if his purfe receive. 
 
 No human art can e'er retrieve. 
 
 Sooner when Gallia's credit's flown 
 
 To fome Utopian world unknown, 
 
 ' AsTR^A (hall on earth remain 
 
 The laft of the celeftial train, 
 
 *= Ultima caelicolum Terras AsTR^ A, reliquit. 
 
 ViRG. 
 
 5 The aftion for money had and received, lies only for 
 money which, ex cequo et bono, Defendant ought to refund. 
 Com. dig. Tit. Action on the Cafe— in aiTumpfit, a. i. 
 
 For money paid by miftake or on a confideration which 
 happens to fail. U.
 
 Z^t7. VII. j pleader's guide. 67 
 
 To tender Affignats at Far 
 Triumphant in the Champ de Mar\ 
 And when their deep-laid projects fail. 
 And Guillot'Dies no more avail, 
 Her baffled Statefmen fhall excife 
 Some new found region in the flvies, 
 And towVing in an air balloon 
 Pluck Requijitions from the Moon ; 
 Sooner the daring wights who go 
 Down to the watery world below. 
 Shall force old Neptune to difgorge 
 And vomit up the Royal George, 
 Than He who hath his bargain made 
 And legally his cafh convey 'd. 
 Shall e'er his pocket reimburfe 
 By diving in a Lawyer's Purfe.
 
 68 pleader's guide. [Book 1. 
 
 LECTURE VIII. 
 
 Memoirs continued — Mr. Surrebutter is called 
 to the Bar — Goes the Circuit — The Character oj 
 Mr. Joseph Ferret, a Country Attorney — 
 SubjeEl refumed — InJlruBions in the Art of 
 Special Pleading — Mejfrs. John Doe and 
 Richard Roe— Conchifion of the Jirjl Book, 
 
 X HUS in my faddle I was feated. 
 Ere fcarce one Lujlrum was compleated. 
 But when my Mental Powers I weigh 'd, 
 My figure and my mien furvey'd, 
 A bold Caufidical appearance. 
 Strong nerves, ftrong parts, and perfeverancc. 
 Far nobler views infpir'd my mind. 
 It feem'd that Nature had combined 
 An eye to threaten and command. 
 And brows no mortal could withftand. 
 With lungs of Mains and Stentor, 
 For fome great purpofe, peradventure. 
 There is, I cried, (and dropt my Pen,) 
 A Tide in the affairs of men.
 
 LeB. VIIL~\ pleader's guide. 69 
 
 Which leads to fame and fortune thofe 
 Who take it while the current flows. 
 There is, ye Gods, there is a Crifis, 
 I'll feize it whatfoe'er the price is : 
 Prozer was dead, and Serjeant Qui r kit 
 Grew huflcy, and had left the Circuit, 
 And as for Shark's friend Shovelnose, 
 We long had deem'd him meat for crows ; 
 I fcorn'd in this dull fcene to tarry, 
 Effay'd at once a loftier Quarry, 
 At once indulg'd my fav'rite biafs 
 And ftamp'd my fame at Nift prius : 
 So now I take my brace of nags. 
 My Note-book, Clerk, and Saddle-bags, 
 And faunt'ring gently on my Journey, 
 Look out for fome good rich Attorney, 
 One that's a Judge of parts and merit, 
 Such as that choice difcerning fpirit. 
 My worthy little friend Joe Ferret, 
 That honeft, free, good natur'd foul. 
 Who flands fo high upon the Roll,
 
 JO pleader's guide. [_Book L 
 
 And fills with fuch eclat and grace, 
 
 That pretty comfortable place. 
 
 He gain'd by Government Connexions, 
 
 And prudent conduft at Eledions, 
 
 By making Minifterial bounty 
 
 Pafs for his own throughout the County : 
 
 A friend to all who are opprefs'd. 
 
 And feek by Law to be redrefs'd. 
 
 One that abhors all Compofitions, 
 
 All mean * Retraxits, and SubmiJJions^ 
 
 Scorns '^Arbitrations as a ftain 
 
 To ninth and tenth of William's Reign, 
 
 ' Rftraxifs — A Retraxit is a withdrawing of the Suit by 
 the PlaintifF, and is (o termed from the moft effeftive word 
 in the old Latin Entry- — A Retraxit differs from z.Nonfidt 
 in this refpecl, a Rr.traxit mutt be by the Plaintiff's Appear- 
 ance, and perfonally withdrawing his Suit— a Nonfuit is ef- 
 fected by the Plaintiff's ??o;2-appearance upon being called. 
 In the firlt, the Plaintiff voluntarily retracts his pretenfions 
 to fuftain the Suit, which operates as a perpetual Bar to any 
 fubfequent Adion for the like Caufe — a Nonfuit is only an 
 abandonment of the Suit Pro hdc Vice. 
 
 * Arbitrations — By the 9 and 10 W. 3d. c. 15, it is en- 
 afted, That Merchants, Traders, and all perfons defiring
 
 Le6l. VIIIJ] pleader's guide. 71 
 
 Ads, which he deems miflead his Clients, 
 Cramp Genius, and degrade the Science ; 
 But when the fparks of" difcord rife. 
 Should Parties wifh to compromife. 
 My little Friend provokes the flame, 
 Encourages and fp reads the fame. 
 And with fuch Zeal and judgment blows 
 The coals of flrife 'twixt friends and foes, 
 He ne'er can fail at '(Tize or feffion, 
 Of growing wcjrm by his Profedion ; 
 His Garden's neat, the Meffuaore crood. 
 The befl in all the neighbourhood, 
 With door Chinefe the front is grac'd. 
 His windows are of Gothic tafte. 
 The which, to me, though all the Village 
 Conceive they're got by fraud and pillage. 
 
 to end their conrroverfies by Arbitration, may agree that 
 their fubniij/ion of their Suit to the Award or Uinpir.Tge of 
 any perfon or perfons (hoiild be made a rule of any of his 
 Majefty's Courts of Record ; and in cafe of difobedience to 
 fuch Award or Umpirage, th? parties neglecling or re- 
 fufing to perform the fame, (hall be fubject to all the Pe- 
 nalties of contemning a Rule of Court.
 
 72 pleader's guide. \^Book L 
 
 And both th' Excifeman and the Re6lor 
 
 Defpife his tafte in archite6ture. 
 
 To me, whofe tafte is lefs refin'd. 
 
 And more to focial joys inclin'd. 
 
 If chance my penetrating eye 
 
 His glitt'ring neat buffet defcry, 
 
 A goodly fymptom ! and behold 
 
 His well fcour d knocker (hine like Gold, 
 
 Look all To pretty and inviting, 
 
 I make no icruple of alighting ; 
 
 At faid Attorney's fix my quarters. 
 
 Flatter and flirt with all his Daughters, 
 
 With Kitty Ferret dance Cotillions — - 
 
 While you, ye worthy rum Civilians, 
 
 Ye fober, perfevering Stagers, 
 
 Hammer your ^minors and your majors^ 
 
 > Minors — The Major Excommunication feparates thofe 
 on whom it is inflided, not only from the Myftical Body 
 of the Church, and from Spiritual Communion, but alfo 
 from the fociety of the faithful: the Minor, or leffer Ex- 
 communication feparates only from the paffive Communion 
 or receiving of the facrament* — Thefe may be inflifted by
 
 Le5l. VIIir\ pleader's guide. 73 
 
 And lapt in fmoke, and vapours dank. 
 Pore over Lindwood andLANFRANC. — 
 
 But foft awhile, methinks Dear Job, 
 Our Brethren of the Scarlet Robe, 
 Luird by the mufic of my numbers. 
 Seem to refume their wonted Slumbers ; 
 Good Mercury, with caution tread, 
 And Morpheus wave thy Wand of Lead ; 
 While they enjoy their meditations. 
 We Tcape their Excommunications. 
 Meanwhile do thou the "^ Tale declare, 
 Meet weapons of offence prepare. 
 Open your budget of Refources, 
 Mufter your powers, colle6l your forces. 
 
 fentence of the Ecclefiaftical Judge — Vid. Lindwood de 
 Senten. Excom. C. Ult. Glofs. Wefembery and Lanfranc — 
 Authorities greatly relied on in matters of fpiritual Cog- 
 nizance, and the pradice of the Ecclefiaftical Courts. 
 
 -* Tale — The Tale or Narration contains the Story of the 
 Plaintiff 's Cafe, and is more commonly called the Decla- 
 ration ^
 
 74 pleader's guide. If^Book /. 
 
 The Truth, and all the Truth, difcover. 
 
 And add fuch flouriflies moreover. 
 
 Such aggravations, and additions, 
 
 Embellifliments, and repetitions, 
 
 As youthful Fancy oft begets 
 
 On fome young Special Pleader's wits. 
 
 Which ferve like notes of Commentators, 
 
 Orfpeeches of confus'd Debaters, 
 
 To puzzle e'en by Explanation, 
 
 And darken by Elucidation, 
 
 For puzz'ling oft becomes your duty. 
 
 And makes Obfcurity a beauty ; 
 
 And truft me 'tis of wond'rous ufe 
 
 By Nonfenfe to improve Abufe, 
 
 As I, thank Heaven, fo oft have done. 
 
 And worthily my Race have run. 
 
 Then let us pray for writ of 'Pone, 
 John Doe andRicHARo Roe his Crony, 
 
 ^ Pone — The Pone is the Writ of Attachment before 
 mentioned, it is fo called from the words of the Writ,
 
 Le6i, VIII^ pleader's guide. 75 
 
 Good men, and true, who never fail 
 
 The needy and diftrefs'd to bail, 
 
 Dire6t unfeen the dire difpute. 
 
 And pledge their names in ev'ry fuit — 
 
 Sure 'tis not all a vain delufion, 
 
 Romance, and fable ^Roficrufian, 
 
 That fpirits do exift without, 
 
 Haunt us, and watch our whereabout ^ 
 
 Witnefs ye vifionary pair, 
 
 Ye floating forms that light as air. 
 
 Dwell infome Special Pleader's brain; 
 
 Am I deceived ? or are ye twain 
 
 The reftlefs and perturbed Sprites 
 
 The manes of departed Knights, 
 
 Erfl of the Poll? whofe frauds and lies 
 
 Falfe Pleas, falfe Oaths, and Alibis 
 
 Pone per vadium & faivos pLegios, " Put by Gage and Jaje 
 Pledges, A. B/' 
 John Doe and Richard Roe. 
 
 ^ Roficrufian — For an account of the Theory of the Ro- 
 ficrufian fyftem, fee Pope's Rape of the Lock.
 
 'j6 pleader's guide. \_Book L 
 
 Rais'd ye in Life above your Peers, 
 And launch'd ye tow'rds the ftarry Spheres, 
 Then to thofe manfions " unanneal'd," 
 Where unrepented fins are feal'd : 
 Say, wherefore in your days of flefh 
 Cut off, while yet your fins were frefh. 
 Ye vifit thus the realms of Day, 
 Shaking with fear our frames of Clay, 
 Still doom'd in penal Ink to linger. 
 And hover round a Pleader's finger. 
 Or on a Writ impal'd, and wedg'd. 
 For Plaintiff's Profecution pledg'd. 
 Aid and abett the purpos'd ill. 
 And works of Enmity fulfil. 
 Sill doom'd to hitch in Declaration, 
 And drive your ancient Occupation ? 
 While thus to you I raife my Voice, 
 Methinks I fee the Ghofl:s rejoice 
 Of Lawyers erfi: in Fi61ion bold, 
 Levinz, and Lutwyche, Pleaders old. 
 With Writs and Entries round him fpread. 
 See plodding Saunders rears his head.
 
 Le^i. VIII.'] pleader's guide. 77 
 
 Lo ! Ventris wakes ! before mine eyes 
 Brown, Lilly, andBoHUN arife. 
 Each in his Parchment fhroud appears. 
 Some with their Ouills behind their ears, 
 Flourifli their velvet Caps on high, 
 Some wave their grizzel wigs, and cry- 
 Hail happy Pair ! the Glory, and the Boaft, 
 The Strength and Bulwark of the legal Hoft, 
 Like 'Saul and Jonathan in Friendfhip 
 
 tried, 
 Pleafant ye lived, and undivided died ! 
 While Pillories fhall yawn, where eril ye flood. 
 And brav'd the torrent of o'erwhelming mud. 
 While gaming Peers, and ' Dames of noble 
 
 Race, 
 Shall ftrive to merit that exalted Place ; 
 
 "^ Saul — "Saul and Jonathan were pleafant in their Lives, 
 and in their Death they were not divided." 2d Samuel. 
 c. 1. V. 23. 
 
 * Dames — Mr. Surrebutter in this paffage feems to 
 have contemplated the probability of certain Charaders of 
 both Sexes in the falhionable World, exhibiting their Per-
 
 78 pleader's guide. [^Book I. 
 
 While righteous Scriv'ners, who when Sun- 
 day (hines. 
 Pore o'er their Bills, and turn their nouorhts 
 
 to nines, 
 (Their unpaid Bills, which long have 
 
 learn'd to grow 
 Fader than Poplars on the banks of Po), 
 Freely fhall lend their charitable aid. 
 To young Profeflbrs of the gambling trade ; 
 While Writs (hall laft, and Ufury fhall thrive, 
 k Your name, your honor, and your praife 
 fhall live: 
 
 •• Semper honos, nomenque tuum, laudefque manebunt. 
 
 ViRG. 
 
 fons in the Pillory for keeping public Gaming Tables. It 
 is written in the true Spirit of Prophecy, and from a late 
 Declaration of a learned and noble Judge, (no lefs diftin- 
 guifhcd for his impartial and independent Spirit, than 
 for his great zeal and earneftnefs for Juftice) the Editor 
 very fincerely hopes Mr. Surrebutter's Prophecy will 
 be (hortly fulfilled.
 
 Le5t. VIIIJ] pleader's guide. 79 
 
 Jailers (hall fmile, and with BumbailifFs 
 
 raife 
 Their iron voices to record your Praife, 
 Whom Law united, nor the Grave can fever, 
 " All hail John Doe, and Richard Roe 
 
 for ever." 
 
 END OF THE FIRST BOOK,
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 IF this Jirjl Book of Mr. Surrebutter's 
 LeBitres JJiould meet with a favourable Reception 
 from the refpedlable and liberal Profeffors of 
 the Law\ the fecond Book -will in due 'Time he fub^ 
 mitted to their Periifaly in which will be contained 
 the further ConduB of a Suit at Lazvy zvith the 
 Arguments of Counsellor Bother'um a7id 
 Counsellor Bore'um, in an Action betneen 
 John-a-Gull, a7id John-a-Gudgeon, for Af~ 
 fault and Battery^ ^c.
 
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