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 S A M 
 
 PRINTED FCH 
 
 1872 
 
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 A PAI RE 
 
 OF 
 
 S P Y-K NAVES 
 
 BY 
 
 SAMUEL ROWLANDS 
 
 Reprinted from the Unique Fragment in the possession of 
 
 John Payne Collier, Esq. J 
 
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 TO THE WORLDS 
 
 BLINDE IVDGEMENT, 
 
 that wants a paire of Spedlacles 
 
 with a trtiejight. 
 
 TRuth doth auouch it, and experience fayes, 
 Time femes vs with his worft of wicked daycs, 
 The worid, euen like a garment waxeth old, 
 Selfe-loue is hot, charitie deadly cold. 
 The notes we haue to know our good men by 
 (As corrupt Judgement deemes with errours eye) 
 Are wealth, and words, no matter how they liue, 
 Hee's a good man, that can good fpeeches giue, 
 And talke of Vertue, and Religious zeale, 
 Although in deeds he like a Diuell deale. 
 Another fort there are, the world cals beft, 
 Onely becaufe they are of wealth poffeft : 
 Their gold and filuer gildeth them fo well. 
 They are the befl in Parifh where they dwell : 
 And fo was Dines, out of queflion too, 
 Mofl richly magnified with much adoe, 
 Vntill the end tryes truth, at dying day, 
 When all the worlds efteemed things decay, 
 
 A 3 Diuels 
 
 107603 
 
To the Worlds 
 
 Diuels with Gluttons foule did merry make, 
 Angels, poore Lazarus to glory take. 
 Blinde iudging world, fenceleffe in cenfure th'art, 
 With greatneffe, not with goodnes taking part : 
 Tell me, where's he that for true Vertues fake, 
 The poore luft man, will his companion make ? 
 Where's he that is the greateft finde-fault knowne, 
 Reproues his brothers miffe, and mends his owne? 
 Where's he that is to fuch a patience growne, 
 That he will put vp wrong, and offer none? 
 What's he that now-a-daies doth good for ill, 
 And would doe hurt to no man by his will? 
 Point out the man, breathing beneath the Sunne, 
 That doth, as to himfelfe he would haue done. 
 What's he as willing will repay a Debt, 
 As he was ready trufled goods to get? 
 Who will not flatter Greatneffe now-a-daies, 
 In all the errours of their graceleffe wayes ? 
 Who will in loffes on his God depend. 
 And take that patiently the Lord doth fend? 
 Who will be weary to be monies flaue, 
 And hauing wealth, confeffe, inough I haue? 
 Who will not catch (if by his craft he can,) 
 The meanes, and lining from another man? 
 What's he that will his Couenant fulfill, 
 As firme by promife, as by Bond or Bill? 
 Where's he will lend of fuperfluitie, 
 Without the Vfurers gratuitie? 
 Who is it that of faithfull true intent, 
 Maintaines the poore, defends the Innocent? 
 Sure if Diogenes did Hue againe. 
 He might burne day, as once he did, in vaine. 
 
 To 
 
Reader. 
 
 THis Cry flail Jight is not for all mens Eyes, 
 But otiely ferues for the iudicious wife, 
 Fooles, they may gaze as long as ere they will, 
 And be as blind as any Beetle fill : 
 A purblinde Momxxs feeringly will looke, 
 Afidfpie no knaue bufsfelfe in all the Booke. 
 A Sicophant, that fanes himfelfe to all, 
 Will his owne Knaue-Companions ho7ie/l call, 
 And wilfull winke, becatfe he will not fee. 
 With diners forts of Buzzards elfe that be: 
 But thefe we leaue to their defectiuefght, 
 With Bats and Oivles that blinded are by light. 
 
 S. R. 
 
 B 
 
A DRVNKARDS 
 
 Duello. 
 
 AWorfhipper of Bacchus, x'v^o. in Grape, 
 From merry drunk, and toyifh as an Ape, 
 Fell Lyon Drunkard,and in Claret heate. 
 His cup-companion did with combate threat, 
 To meete next morning in Saint Georges field, 
 Whereto the other did encounter yeeld, 
 And fo they left the Tauerne very late, 
 The Challenger reel'd home with drunken pate. 
 And put himfelfe in complete armour,like 
 The God of battell, Dagger, Sword, halfe Pike, 
 And beates vpon his aduerfaries dore, 
 Saying, I come like Beiiis to the Bore, 
 Appeare, bafe coward, rowfe thee from thy den. 
 The other with the noyfe awakening then, 
 Comes downe, and findes behinde his doore to (land, 
 A Paring fhouell, which he tooke in hand. 
 And lends to braue Sir Lancelot of the Lake, 
 A blowe that made his fteeled coxcombe ake, 
 Who double wounded, fell as he were flaine. 
 The other quiet went to bed againe. 
 And his confounded enemy lets lye. 
 At laft the flumbling watch with light come by, 
 Seeing an armed man all myery foule, 
 They gaze on him, like Woodcocks at an Owle, 
 
 B2 Then 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knmies. 
 
 Then get him vp, and leaning on their Bils, 
 
 They famen him according to their skils, 
 
 As who, and what, and where, and which, and why? 
 
 And thus, and fo, and then, and whence, and I, 
 
 Then holding of the Lanthorne to his face. 
 
 He thus deliuers them his wofuU cafe : 
 
 You braue browne Bill-men that behold the wight, 
 
 Whom durt hath fpoiled of his armour bright, 
 
 Note well the admonition that I giue, 
 
 In charitie with all your neighbours liue. 
 
 For I with malice on my friend did frowne, 
 
 And loitc with thunderbolt hath flrooke me downe, 
 
 His very hand, none elfe hath done the deede, 
 
 My wounds are inward, for I feele them bleed, 
 
 Difarme this heauy burden from my baqjce, 
 
 Knocke Vintners vp, to faue my life with Sacke. 
 
 The Dis-honejl borrower. 
 
 Sir, as you euer haue (vntill this hower) 
 Bin my beft friend by your affifling power, 
 And done more for me in true aflion try'd. 
 Then all the friends I haue, haue done befide, 
 So let me once againe on vrgent caufe 
 (Which all my credit into Queftion drawes) 
 Obtain to borrow for a month ten pound, 
 And as I haue tofore, I will reft bound 
 In all the duties of a gratefull heart, 
 Till my Immortall fubflance hence depart. 
 The money lent, as fawning friend defir'd, 
 Month after month, and yeeres at length expir'd; 
 
 The 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knattes. 
 
 The Creditor, weary of fuch delay, 
 
 Came to his Debtor, and intreats him pay. 
 
 Pay, Sir (quoth he?) what mony doe I owe? 
 
 What Bond or Bill to proue it, can you fhow? 
 
 This you demand is falfe, and I deny it, 
 
 Firft proue a Debt, and then come lawfull by it. 
 
 My anfwere is, I owe you not a fhilling, 
 
 My confcience is. He ne're pay penny willing. 
 
 Old Doting Lujl. 
 
 NEuer perfwade me, for I will haue Beffe, 
 If I were elder, and her yeeres were leffe, 
 I haue outliu'd the weary lothfome Hues 
 Of three old (good for nothing) worne-out wiues, 
 And now a yong one I intend to try. 
 For comfort to mine age before I dye. 
 Perfwade me not, I will be rul'd by none, 
 Although to fourefcore my gray head be growne : 
 I Avill haue one that fliall be yong enough, 
 Preferring tender, before old and tough. 
 Neither paffe I though fooHfh people fay. 
 Yonder goes cold December match'd with May. 
 Looke how his browes are fwolne within his Hat, 
 For thus, my friends, I am refolu'd for that 
 He that weares Horns, and neither knowes, nor thinks it. 
 And he that takes a Fly vnfeene and drinkes it, 
 Should neuer with conceit themfelues abufe : 
 For what the eye ne're fees, the heart ne're rues : 
 Come good-luck, bad-luck, Cuckolds luck betweene. 
 My fourefcore old will marry yong fixteene. 
 
 B 3 A Fan- 
 
A Pay re of Spy-Knaues. 
 A Fantajlicall Knaue. 
 
 SIrra, come hither, I muffc fend you ftraight 
 To diuers places, about things of waight, 
 Firft to my Barber, at his Bafon figne. 
 Bid him be heere to morrow about nine : 
 Next to my Taylor, and will him be heere 
 About eleuen, and his Bill He cleere: 
 My Shoemaker by twelue, hafte bid him make 
 About the Ruffet Bootes that I befpake : 
 Stay, harke, I had forgot, at any hand 
 Firft to my Laundreffe for a yellow Band, 
 And point the Feather-maker not to faile. 
 To plume my head with his beft Eftridge tayle. 
 Speake to the Sadler: no, let him alone, 
 Hee'le looke for money, I can fpare him none. 
 Step to the Cutler for my fighting blade. 
 And know if that my riding fword be made, 
 Bid him trim vp my walking Rapier neat. 
 My dancing Rapiers pummell is too great : 
 Stay, flay, forbeare, fome other time weele borrow, 
 I muft take Phyficke, and lye in to morrow, 
 The Do6lor, I remember, will come hether, 
 And hee'le both purge me, and my purfe together. 
 
 As 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 As wife as lohn ^Gotehams Calfe: 
 
 Or, 
 
 This fellow broitght his Hogges to 
 a fair e Market. 
 
 HVmphrey wou'd vp to London vorty mile, 
 He vow'd to trauell ouer Bridge and Stile, 
 To zee the Zitty, though liis Father pray him. 
 And Mother weepe, and Sifters cry to ftay him. 
 There's no perfwading Humphrey bide at home. 
 He will to London fpite of cocke and's combe, 
 When parents fee nothing preuaile they can. 
 They point Tom Carter for his Seruingman, 
 And ftocke their Yongman with good ftore of crownes, 
 Who taking leaue with all his fellow clownes. 
 Sets forward brauely like the Wandring Knight, 
 And could not take contentment day nor night, 
 Vntill the Citie skirts he ouertooke, 
 Where, as about for harbour he did looke. 
 To drinke a Health backe, for their townes caroufe. 
 They caft their Anker at a bawdy-houfe. 
 The Punkes perceiuing they of prey were fped : 
 Intreated them to fup, and take a bed 
 Which Humphrey tooke moft kinde. Oh Tom (quoth he) 
 Heere's Gentlewomen of good breed, I fee, 
 A man fhall ftay at home with Sijfe and lojie 
 And all his life haue no fuch kindnes fliowne, 
 At euery word w' are Gentlemen, hang gold, 
 Weele make it good, while fathers bags doe hold : 
 
 When 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 
 When my purfe flirinkes, why, to fupply our flore, 
 
 Thou flialt ride downe (braue Tom) and fetch vp more. 
 
 Thus hauing lauifli'd there, away they goe: 
 
 But in fliort time the matter fell out fo, 
 
 The country Gull, with Punks was fo bepay'd, 
 
 That he muft needs feeke out for Surgeons ayde, 
 
 A burning griefe did ouertake at laft, 
 
 And he muft fweat to thinke on what was paft, 
 
 Take vp his Chamber and a while lye in. 
 
 Oh Pockey griefe to thinke where he had bin ! 
 
 But Mafter Mendall did fo hold him too't, 
 
 That in fhort time he got him vp on foot, 
 
 When HiimpJirey crept no fooner out of doore, 
 
 But he would raile, reuenge vpon his whore, 
 
 And to the place of foule confufion went : 
 
 His Pnnke came to him with faire complement 
 
 Demanding what hee'le giue her.-* Giue, quoth he.-" 
 
 Thou damned Whore haft giuen the Pox to me. 
 
 Quoth flie. Thou lyeft, and doeft abufe me bafe 
 
 I will difproue thy fpeeches to thy face: 
 
 I giue the Pox } Tis falfe, I ne're gaue any : 
 
 I fold the Pox, thou bought'ft it with thy penny : 
 
 We made a bargaine, I had thy French gold. 
 
 And thou my French difeafe, full bought and fold. 
 
 Oh 'bomination, Tom, let's home, I vow, 
 
 We brought our Hogs to a faire Market now. 
 
 No longer (Gentlemen) we will remaine : 
 
 Goe thou to Cart, and I'le to Plow againe. 
 
 But Tom, fweet Tom, in any cafe be trufty, 
 
 Neuer tell Father I haue bin fo lufty. 
 
 Nor tell our country Wenches I befeech. 
 
 What I haue brought from London in my breech: 
 
 For 
 
 to 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues, 
 
 For if thou doeft, I fhall be quite vndone, 
 As euer was any poore mothers fonne. 
 
 A Marriage Merchant. 
 
 CAptaine, in lieu of loue I haue a plot, 
 Whereby on both fides money may be got, 
 And thus, the Lady I did marry late, 
 Hath a rich Daughter Hues in VViddowes ftate, 
 To whom her Father gaue a Legacy 
 Of fifteene hundred pound when he did dye, 
 This money to her muft my Lady pay, 
 Being executrix: now what d'ee fay? 
 If I betweene my Daught'r in law and you 
 Doe make a match, will you releafe this due? 
 Her ftate is better then a thoufand pound. 
 All this will come to you as money found. 
 You fhall difcharge me paying of this portion, 
 And I'le gaine you a thoufand, by my motion. 
 Quoth Captaine Needy, Sir, with thankes agreed. 
 Tray help your felfe and me by this good deede, 
 This plot betweene vs we will friendly fmother. 
 And thus with one good turne, requite another. 
 
 c Cour- 
 
A Paire of Spy-Kumtes. 
 Courteous complements betweene a 
 
 TratieUer and the Hangman. 
 
 A Giddy gallant, that beyond the feas 
 Sought fafhions out, his idle pate to pleafe. 
 In trauelling did meete vpon the way, 
 A fellow that was futed richly gay, 
 No leffe then Crimfon Veluet did him grace. 
 All garded and re-garded with gold Lace, 
 His Hat was feather'd like a Ladies Fan, 
 Which made the Gallant thinke him fome great man, 
 And vayl'd vnto him with a meeke falute. 
 In reuerence of his gilded Veluet fute. 
 Sir (quoth his man) your Worfhip doth not know 
 What you haue done to wrong your credit fo : 
 This is the Beivle in Dutch, in Englifh plaine 
 The raskall Hangman, whom all men difdaine, 
 I faw him tother day on caftell greene 
 Hang foure as proper men as ere were feene. 
 At this his Mafter in a raging vaine. 
 Swore he would call his kindnes back againe. 
 And in great hafte after the Hangman goes, 
 He and his man, fo bafting him with blowes. 
 That neuer Hangman was in worfer cafe 
 For a dry beaten, batter'd, fift-fwolne face, 
 And then departing, faid, Thou Rogue, take that, 
 For wearing clothes made me put off my Hat : 
 Rope-trader, keepe thy felfe to Hempe and cord, 
 And weare not Sutes to counterfet a Lord. 
 
 Sir 
 
 » 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 
 Sir (quoth the Hangman) doe not fo difdaine me : 
 Such fwaggerers as you doe thus maintaine me: 
 For I vpon my backe their kindnes beare, 
 And they, about their necks my fauours weare. 
 
 The Diuellj and the TJ/urer, 
 
 GOod husband, carefull man, to thriue and Hue, 
 Imbrace the gainfull counfell that I giue, 
 Keepe not thy Coine a rufting on thy hand. 
 But put it out, it is thy houfe and land, 
 Make profit of thine owne, be't to thy Brother, 
 And make thy hundreds one beget another, 
 Thou fhalt haue me and all the Diuels in hell 
 To take thy part, that thou doeft wondrous well, 
 Although fome confcience Chriftian, fome nice foole, 
 That will haue onely Scripture for his fchoole. 
 Doe tell thee that it is a damned thing, 
 To be a Vfurer, and places bring 
 To proue the fame. Why, man if that be all, 
 I can my felfe t' alledging Scripture fall, 
 As once in Wilderneffe I did inlarge 
 Tis written, He JJiall giue his Angels charge, 
 Thoujhalt not dajh thy footc againjl ajlone. 
 And fo for thee. Tufh, let the Diuell alone. 
 For Vfury this Scripture I haue found. 
 Of him that hid his Talent in the ground. 
 And did not put it out to make a gaine. 
 As did his fellowes : here's a place ferues plaine, 
 He was condemned for to let it lye, 
 And no increafe of profit come thereby. 
 
 C 2 Thou 
 
 13 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues* 
 
 Thou lend'ft thy money vnto one that takes it, 
 
 And very gainefull in the vfe he makes it. 
 
 He giues gratuitie to thee for lending : 
 
 You both get wealth, this courfe deferues commending. 
 
 And therefore in the Diuels name goe on, 
 
 It is thy money thou muft Hue vpon. 
 
 Name me one handycraft, fhew any trade, 
 
 Will fell his ware, at that fame price he payd. 
 
 Let Vfury be kept in pra6life than, 
 
 For it maintaines many an honeft man. 
 
 Innumerable multitudes of lewes, 
 
 And countleffe Chriflians, that the trade doe vfe : 
 
 The fonnes of Mammon, mony-monger flaues, 
 
 With bribing Scriueners, and with broking Knaues, 
 
 That if it were not for the foules of fuch, 
 
 Lucifers Kingdome would diminifh much, 
 
 That golden Legion are his conftant friends, 
 
 To whom his graceleffe fauours he commends. 
 
 And one thing more, my fonne, thou maift be bold. 
 
 The Mony-monger, of all trades will hold : 
 
 When Merchant, Mercer, and the reft proue weake. 
 
 My hold-faft Vfurer will neuer breake. 
 
 Who euer fheare the Hogs, hee'le fheare the fheepe, 
 
 And like a Lawyer, is for catch and keepe. 
 
 They two (though with the Fox th'are often curft) 
 
 Yet ftill fare well, for neither of them burft. 
 
 Uficrer. 
 
 I Doe imbrace this counfell with my heart, 
 Ten in the hundred, thou and Tie ne're part ; 
 
 ^ _ Bonds, 
 
 14 
 

 A Paire of Spy-Knaues, 
 
 Bonds, Bils, and words, Tie truft none of you three. 
 
 Bring good fecuritie to deale with me. 
 
 Plate fliall be welcome, with a Bill of fale, 
 
 Fafb binde, faft finde, fure worke can neuer faile; 
 
 Or lend good fummes & haue good land bound for it, 
 
 I'le not be catcht nor laugh'd at, I abhorre it : 
 
 Neither truft one, nor yet beleeue the other : 
 
 rie credit pawne, before I'le credit brother. 
 
 A Roaring Boyes Defcription. 
 
 AMongft the Monfters of this prefent Age, 
 That in the world like fiends incarnate rage, 
 A6ling fuch villanies, and horrid crimes, 
 (Vnknowne to men, in our forefathers times) 
 The Diuell hath (amongft his fafhions new) 
 Begotten children of the curfed crue, 
 In whofe vngracioufneffe he greatly ioyes, 
 And thefe by name are call'd his Roving Boyes: 
 Villaines that in all villanies abound, 
 Which in the Hues of Reprobates are found ; 
 Their dayes, and nights, are thus confum'd away, 
 To liue in floth, and eate, and drinke, and play: 
 God's name is neuer in their mouthes, or hearts, 
 Vnleffe by oathes, to teare him out in parts, 
 Blafphemoufly abufing his dread name. 
 And hating thofe that doe reproue the fame. 
 The choifefl, louing, dearefl friends they haue, 
 Is Punke and Pander, thiefe and coozening Knaue, 
 Sharke, Shifter, Cheater, Cutpurfe, high way-ftander, 
 With thefe, the broad wide way to hell they wander, 
 
 C 3 Your 
 
 IS 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 
 Your Rorlng-Boy is come of fuch a ftraine, 
 
 He is a Villaine dyde in brimftone graine, 
 
 And will hold out while endleffe flames endures, 
 
 (Such hardned hearts, delight in finne procures) 
 
 If the to life, his pi6lure you will haue, 
 
 To know him, by defcription of a Knaue, 
 
 Then thus his outfide carries all the wealth, 
 
 Coof'nage can compaffe, by frauds fecret flealth : 
 
 And what our neat fantafticks newefl hatch. 
 
 That at the second hand hee's fure to catch : 
 
 If it be Feather time, he weares a Feather, 
 
 A golden Hat-band, or a filuer either, 
 
 A beaftly bufhy head of lowfie haire, 
 
 A Horfe-taile locke moft nitty he doth weare, 
 
 Wafted like to fome Dwarfe, or coated Ape, 
 
 As if of Monfters mis-begotten Ihape 
 
 He were ingendred, and reie6ling Nature, 
 
 Were new cut out and flitch'd, the Taylors creature : 
 
 An elbow Cloake, becaufe wide Hofe and Garters 
 
 May be apparent in the lower quarters. 
 
 The pockey legges, that beare his carrion corfe. 
 
 Are dayly booted, though he backe a horfe 
 
 Twice in a tweluemonth, or forfweare to ride 
 
 Vntill a Cart to Tyborne be his guide. 
 
 Yet ftill in Ruffettings he will appeare, 
 
 Although with Shoomaker he neuer cleere. 
 
 His Cabage Ruffe of the outragious fife, 
 
 Starched in colour to beholders eyes : 
 
 A box of Infidels and Heathens drinke, 
 
 Compof'd as hell, of fire, frnoke and ftinke. 
 
 His whole eftate is borrow, coozen, cheate, 
 
 This is a Roring-Boyes true Picture neate. 
 
 How 
 
 |6 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 
 How kinde goodwill, did loue requite, 
 Betweene a Cuckold, and a Knight 
 
 A Knight of Ctipids Court (with Luft being led) 
 Got kindely with his neighbours Wife to bed, 
 And by Veneriall fport heated (I thinke) 
 Moffc impudently call'd the Maid for drinke. 
 Which when it came, did proue exceeding fmall : 
 But thus Sir Tarqiiin made amends for all : 
 The frugall Cuckold for his humor fait. 
 Out of the Knight got forty feames of Malt. 
 Which had, he faid, Sir, leaft I dye your debter, 
 Pray' come and tafte if now my Beere be better. 
 If you miflike, before that we doe fpend it, 
 I hope your Worfhip once againe will mend it. 
 
 The boor ding of the Alehoufe Ship, fought fo, 
 Till Smug the Smith could neither Hand nor goe. 
 
 THere was a Smug, that delt in Iron mettle, 
 That in a humour to clofe fight would fettle. 
 And boord a Barke laden with Beere and Ale, 
 Till braine forfooke him, and his legs did faile: 
 For refolute one night, (this iron-trader 
 Enter'd the Hulke, fuppofing to vnlade her. 
 But fhe fo bang'd him with her Barly fhot 
 His legs to beare his body, quite forgot) 
 And foundring in the durty kennell laid him, 
 Where many paffed by, but none that flay'd him : 
 When wallowing with his face, late hote and fierie. 
 He fmgs no other note, but Ala-mi-re, 
 
 Yet 
 
 17 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 
 Yet to his fhankes that fuffered him to tumble, 
 This angry fpeech the threatning Smith did grumble, 
 Since you'le not beare me, legs, let who will mutter, 
 I for this night will lodge you in the gutter. 
 
 One good turne requires 
 another. 
 
 MArget doth know her Miftris is a whore, 
 For Ihe her felfe hath often kept the dore : 
 Megg is a Thiefe, her Miftris can proteft. 
 For fhe hath feene her rob her Mafters Cheft. 
 But Maid (fayes Miftris) my abufes fmother, 
 And one good turne (thou know'ft) requires another. 
 
 One call'd a Lady whore, (which was the fame, 
 
 Yet fhe (though bad) ftood much vpon good name. 
 
 Making a vow, vnleffe he did fubmit, 
 
 His purfe fliould very foundly pay for it. " 
 
 He to faue charges, in a cunning vaine 
 
 Did thus recanting, call her whore againe. 
 
 Madame, I come, fubmiffiue vnto you. 
 
 And doe confeffe I call'd you whore, 'Tis true: 
 
 Which to recant. Sorry in troth am I, 
 
 Your Ladifhip's no Whore, Madam, I lye. 
 
 TJice^ 
 
 i8 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knattes. 
 Uice reprotLes Wickednes. 
 
 THere is no Sinner in fo vilde a kinde, 
 But with fome Vices he a fault will finde. 
 The Prodigall, with Couetous man being met,. 
 Said to him, Fie, bafe wretch, thou art in debt 
 Vnto thy belly and thy backe, for both 
 Doe want the vfe of meat, and drinke, and cloth : 
 And thou do'ft onely pinch, and pine, and fpare. 
 To hord vp money, keeping body bare, 
 To cramme thy bags, and fill thy gaping purfe, 
 Foole, beaft, bafe-minded, none fo vile, none worfe. 
 Quoth Couetoufites, Thou fpend-thrift of thy ftate, 
 Whom I deteft with a moft deadly hate. 
 Thy flefhly carrion all confumes, and fpends, 
 (Befides thine owne) what thou canft catch of friends. 
 To eate and drinke thy felfe in endleffe Debt, 
 And in the end thou wilt a lodging get 
 In Ltidgatc, or the Counter, there to lye, 
 Till lothfome life conflraine thee wifh to dye. 
 Then came a Drunkard, that could fcarcely goe, 
 And he vpon a Broker did beftowe 
 Outragious raylings, curfmg him to hell, 
 With all that euer he fliould buy and fell : 
 Vnworthy wretch, to liue in Commonwealth, 
 That dar'ft not doe as I doe, drinke a health 
 To all good fellowes, that by Sea and Land 
 Will pledge caroufe, as long as legs can ftand. 
 Sirra (quoth Broker) looke you fetch your pawne, 
 I will vnto no longer day be drawne : 
 
 D You 
 
 19 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues, 
 
 You haue had time enough to pay me in, 
 
 And now I'le plague thee for thy drunken fmne. 
 
 Bafe Knaue, I hate a Drunkard with my heart, 
 
 Though I with Vfury will neuer part. 
 
 It is the trade by which my liuing's got, 
 
 I'le vfe it ftill, honeft, or honeft not. 
 
 Drunkard, reele on, vntill the Stocks poffeffe thee, 
 
 Broker (quoth Drunkard) Brandons Halter bleffe thee. 
 
 Inflrudliotis gmen to a Cowitrey Clowne, 
 To take Tobacco, when he co7nes to Towne. 
 
 A Cheater meeting with a fimple Clowne, 
 Would giue him Wine, becaufe he knew the town. 
 Where goodman Boore his countryman did dwell, 
 And all his neighbours he knew pafling well : 
 Entring the Tauerne, and the wine befpoke, 
 Quoth Cheater, Bring me here a Pipe of fmoke 
 To purge my Rhume, by fpetting to forfake it. 
 Gentleman (quoth the Clowne) would I could take it. 
 Sayes he, I'le teach thee, (doe obferue me heere) 
 To take Tobacco like a Caualeere, 
 Thus draw the vapor thorow your nofe, and fay, 
 Puffe, it is gone, fuming the fmoke away. 
 The Gull, that would be a Tobaconift: 
 Had cup, or pipe, continuall in his fifl, 
 Vntill -m^piiffe, His gone, his fences fhrunke. 
 And he was got by pra6lice, Claret drunke. 
 The Cheater tooke his time, and did pretend 
 To goe fall by, and call a fpeciall friend 
 To drinke with them, and fo conuayes the Cup, 
 And lets him fit, who takes his pipefull vp, 
 
 And 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 
 And fmokes it off, with puffe 'tis gotie. Oh braue, 
 
 The very whiffe, moft dainty now I haue. 
 
 At length the Drawer look'd into the roome, 
 
 And faid, My friend, where is the Cup become? 
 
 He with his Pipe, the old tune playes vpon. 
 
 Oh braue Tobacco, gallant, Puffe, 'tis gone. 
 
 Gone, quoth the Vintner? by my faith and't be. 
 
 You are the man, is like to anfwere me. 
 
 Where is the friend was with you euen now? 
 
 Wee'le haue our Cup before you goe, I vow. 
 
 He nofes it, and holds the Pipe to t' other, 
 
 And fayes, H^y, puffe, 'tis gone mofl brauely. Brother, 
 
 Is't gone, quoth he? then friend, thus much Tie fay, 
 
 You haue the reck'ning and a Cup to pay : 
 
 YovlV puffe 'tis gone, is like to coft your purfe, 
 
 The reckning's fomething, but the Goblet's worfe. 
 
 When all's difcharg'd, that doth as yet remaine, 
 
 Then welcome /«^, our Cup is come againe. 
 
 Suck Oafi,fuch ghe/i, the Prouer be fayes, 
 III Sertiants chufe bad Mafters wayes. 
 
 AMafter that delight in lyes did take. 
 Did keepe a man, would footh vp all he fpake, 
 Who being one time with Gentlemen of worth 
 At dinner fet, this lye he vented forth : 
 It was my hap of late to make a fhoote. 
 And flrike a Deere quite thorow eare and foote. 
 This may feeme ftrange, vnto all you that heare it, 
 But aske my man, he faw it, and will fweare it. 
 Quoth they, This is incredible: and we 
 Intreat fome reafon, how the fame could be. 
 
 D 2 Why 
 
 21 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaties. 
 
 Why, quoth his Man, euen as the Deere did lye, 
 My Mafter tooke his ayme, and letting flye, 
 The Deere with hinder foote did fcratch an eare. 
 And he fhot thorow both at once, Tie fweare. 
 Indeed (quoth they) thou do'ft fome reafon fhow, 
 There's pofllbilitie it may be fo, 
 And laughing pall it merrily away, 
 At laft his man in fecret thus did fay, 
 Sir, I intreat, that if your Worfhip pleafe, 
 To let your friends haue any more of thefe. 
 They are fo grofe they lye vpon your hand. 
 And I vnto the proofe of them muft fland, 
 To giue your Tales more fcope into the weather. 
 For I could hardly bring this lye together: 
 The diftance 'twixt the Foote and Eare was fuch. 
 That I had much adoe to make them tuch. 
 Therefore in felling bargaines to your buyers, 
 Take heed we be not (as we are) found lyers. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 AScholler riding on the way alone, 
 Feareleffe of Coine (for money he had none,) 
 Was fet vpon by two, that did command 
 With Theeues authoritie, Delmer, Stand, 
 For Statid (quoth he) my mafters that I'le doe, 
 But t'other word, I cannot yeeld vnto, 
 Which is Delmer: 'Pray you giue me leaue 
 Before I doe Deliuer, to Receiue. 
 But yet I will deliuer, and vnfold 
 Aduice, that fhall be better worth then gold : 
 
 Deli- 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues\ 
 
 Delitier not your foule to Satan thus, 
 
 Remember Chrift, that hath redeemed vs. 
 
 Deliuer not your members flaues to fmne. 
 
 That Newgate fo doe entertaine you in. 
 
 Deliuer not your felues vnto the Barr, 
 
 To be condemned (as you know theeues arr.) 
 
 Deliuer not your Necks vnto the Halter, 
 
 But from falfe Knaues, to honeft true men alter. 
 
 Scholler (quoth they) for this we are in debt. 
 
 We will leaue theeuing, but we cannot yet. 
 
 We are fworne Brothers for a yeere in troth, 
 
 If the Rogue Hangman, doe not breake our oath. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 MAdam, you ouercharge me with expence, 
 Which to my purfe, I find a great offence, 
 This catching fafhions at the firft rebound, 
 I am afraid, will runne your Knight aground : 
 We are in Mercers bookes, and Taylors Bils, 
 And there remaine (God knowes) againft their wils. 
 No helping tricke, that I to minde can call. 
 But make new debts, to pay old fcores withall. 
 Sir Barren Braine (quoth Madam, to her Knight) 
 What tell you me of charge "i take I delight. 
 To haue account how you do runne in Debt.'' 
 My care is how to fpend ; care you to get. 
 I doe proteft, I will not forth of dore, 
 Vntill our Coach haue got two Horfes more. 
 Ride but with two .'' why, what fayes vulgar fpeeches ? 
 'Tis very bafely done. You wrong your Breeches. 
 
 D 3 And 
 
 23 
 
A Paire of Spy-Knaues. 
 
 And therefore, Sir, Harke priiiate in your eare, 
 Giue me content, or I'le doe that, I fweare. 
 
 Epigram. 
 
 T T\ THat was the caufe we two fell out laft night? 
 
 V V Let's know fome reafon for it ere we fight, 
 Though thou regard'fl not thy flefh, nor I mine. 
 Yet let's not be infenc'd by drunken wine. 
 Speake, prethee fpeake, who gaue the firft diftafle? 
 Wert thou by me, or I by thee difgrac't? 
 Marry (quoth t'other) as I take it, thus: 
 There was a Health refus'd by one of vs, 
 I know not which : but who did ftab the chaire 
 Euen in contempt of her that laft fate there ? 
 Which of vs firft on Miftris Ltice did rayle? 
 Who put the fait into the bottle Ale? 
 And thruft the Candle in the quart of Sack? 
 Who call'd Tom Roriiig-Boy behinde his back? 
 And broke Snels Pipes, in fpite againfl; the wall? 
 This I remember very perfe6l all : 
 But cannot tell which of vs fwagger'd fo, 
 And therefore let this fcuruy quarrell goe. 
 Rapier, and Ponyard, fhall not haue the day : 
 Rabbet and Pullet, they fhall end the fray. 
 
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