3461
Nqhob, a Comedy In
Three Acts
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
AT LOS ANGELES
THE
N A B O B;
A COMEDY.
WRITTEN by Mr. F O O T E,
PUBLISHED by Mr. COLMAN,
[Price One Shilling and Sixpence.]
THE
"N A B O 5j
A COMEDY,
IN THREE ACTS.
AS IT IS PERFORMED AT THE
THEATRE-ROYAL in the HAY MARKET.
WRITTEN BY THE LATE
SAMUEL F O O T E, Efy,
AND NOW PUBL1SHFD BY
Mr. C O L M A N.
LONDON,
Printed ly T. Sberhck,
For T. C A D E L L, in the Strand.
M D C Cl- X X V 1 1 1.
PROLOGUE,
Spoken by Mr. F O O T E,
At the Theatre-Royal in D u B L i N,
On the ipth of November, 1773.
V
UP WARDS of twenty years are fled and \vafled
Since in this fpot your favour n*rft I tafted.
Urg'd by your fmiles thro' various realms to roam,
- The Mufe now brings her motley cargo home ;
n For frugal Nature, with an equal hand,
c Beftows peculiar gifts to every land.
To France fhe gave her rapid repartee,
- 1 Bows, and Ions mots, fibs, fafhions, flattery, f
Shrugs, grins, grimace, and fportive gaiety :
Arm'd with the whole artillery of love,
Latium's foft fons poflefs the powers to move:
Humour, the foremoft of the feftive crew,
2 Source of the comic fcene, fhe gave to you ;
- Humour, with arched brow, and leering eye,
~ Shrewd, folemn, fneering, fubtle, flow and fly j
.-> Serious herfelf, yet laughter ftill provoking,
By teafing, tickling, jeering, gibing, joking :
Impartial gift, that owns nor rank nor birth !
'Tis theirs who rule the realm, or till the earth ;
Theirs who in fenates wage the wordy war,
y A nd theirs whofe humble lot conduces the car :
aught deriv'd from her adorns my rtrain,
ou gave, at leaft difcoverM firft, the vein,
iculd wide experience, or maturing age,
ave brought or mirth or moral to the ftage,
354-582
*i PROLOGUE.
To you, the patrons of the wilder fong,
The charter notes in juftice mull belong:
But fhould infirmities with time confpije,
My force to weaken or abate my fire,
Lefs entertainment may arife to you,
But to myfelf lefs danger will enfue.
If age contracts my roufcles, farms my tone,
No man will claim thofe foibles as his own 5
Nor, if I halt or hobble thro* the fceix,
filalice point out what citizen I mean:
Ko foe I fear more than a legal fury,
Unlefs I gain this circle for my jury.
R A M AT 1 S
DRAMATIS PERSONA.
Sir MATTHEW MITE,
Mr. Focte.
Sir JOHN OLDHAM,
Mr. Gentleman.
Mr. THOMAS OLDHAM,
Mr. Akkin.
YOUNG OLDHAM,
Mr. Du-Eeliawy.
Mr. MAYOR,
Mr. Par/cm.
TOUCH IT,
Mr. Bad&ley.
FIRST ANTIQUARIAN,
Mr.Loyd. '
SECOND ANTIQUARIAN,
Mr. Hamilton.
SECRETARY,
Mr. Davis.
RAPINE,
Mr. Lings.
NATHAN,
Mr. CaJOe.
MOSES,
Mr. Jacobs.
JANUS, 7
PUTTY, j
Mr. Wefian.
CONSERVE,
Mr. Fearon.
WAITER,
Air. Ward*
LADY OLDHAM,
Mrs. Egertox.
SOIHY,
Mifs Ambroje.
Mrs. MATCH'EM,*
Mrs. Gardner.
CiOCUS,
Mifs Craven.
Beadle, Servants,
&c.
THE
-
t H fc
NABOB,
ACT .I*
A Chamber,
Enter Lady Oldbam and Sir John Qldhatt.
Lady Oldham.
NO T a fyllable more will I hear !
Sir John. Nay* but, my dear -
L.Old. I am amazed, Sir John^
at your meannefs ! or that you could
fubmit to give his paltry propofals fo much as a
reading !
Sir John. Nay^ my dear, what would you hav^,
had me done ?
L. Old. Done ? returned them with the con-
tempt they deferved. But, come^ unfold ! I am
calm : Reveal the pretty project your precious
head has produced.
B
2 THE N A B O &
Sir John. Nay, my dear, as to that, my head
produced
L. Old. Nay, I don't wonder that fhame has
tied up your tongue! But, come; I will fpare
the confufion, and tell you what you would fay.
Here, Lady Oldham, Sir Matthew Mite has
juft fent me a letter, modeftly defiring that, in
return for the ruin he has brought on me and
my houfe, I would be fo kind as to beftow upon
him my darling daughter, the hopes of my -
And is it pofiible you can be mean enough to
think of fuch an alliance? Will you, Sir John,
oblige me with an anfwer to a few Ihort quefiions ?
Sirjdbn. Without doubt.
L. Old. \ fgppofe you confider yourfelf as
fprung from a family at lead as ancient as any
in the county you live in ?
Sir John. That I fancy will not be denied.
L. Old. Nor was it, I fancy, difnonoured by
an alliance with mine ?
Sir John. My Lady, the very reverfe.
L. Old. You fucceeded, Sir, to a patrimony^
which though the liberal and holpitable fpirit of
your predeceffors would not fuffer to encrcale^
yet their prudence took care ihould ^never be
diminifhed ?
Sir John. True.
JL, Old* From the public and private virtues of
your
*T H E NABOB. 3
your anceftors, the inhabitants of the neighbour-
ing borough thought their bed and deareft in-
terefts in no hands fo fecure as in theirs ?
Sir John. Right.
L. Old. Nor till lately were they fo tainted by
the famion of the times, as to adopt the egregious
abfnrdity, That to be faithfully ferved and pro-
tected above, it was necelfary to be largely
bribed and corrupted below ?
Sir John. Why, I can't fay, except now and
then a bit of venifon, or an annual dinner, they
have ever put me to any great
L. Old. Indulge me yef a moment, Sir John !
In this happy fituation, did the lad year chear-
fully clofe-, our condition, though not opulent,
affluent, and you happy in the quiet poffefiion
of your family honours.
Sir John. There is no gainfaying of that.
L. Old. Now, look at the difmal, fhocking
reverie !
Sir John. There is but too much reafon in what
your ladymip fays.
L.Old. And confider, at the fame time, to
whom you are obliged.
Sir John. Why, what could we do ? your
ladyfhip knows there was. nobody more againft
my giving up than yourfelf.
, Old. Let me proceed. At this crifis,
J3 3 preceded
4 THE NABOB.
preceded by all the pomp of Afia, Sir Matthew
Mite, from the Indies, came thundering amongft
Us ; and, profufely feathering the fpoils of ruined
provinces, corrupted the virtue and alienated the
affections of all the old friends to the family.
Sir John. That is nothing but truth.
L. Old. Compelled by the fame means to
defend thofe that were employed in attacking
your intereft, you have been obliged deeply to
encumber your fortune ; his fuperior addrefs has
'procured a return ; and probably your petition
will complete the ruin his oppofition began.
Sir John. Let us hope all for the bed.
L. Old. Arid who can tell, but you may be
ibon forced to part with your patrimony, to the
very infolent worthlefs individual, who has been
the author of your diftrefs ?
Sir John. I would fooner perifh, my Lady !
L. Old. Parallel inftances may be produced ^
nor is it at all unlikely, but Sir Matthew,
taking a liking to your family manfion, has
purfued this very method to compel you tq
lell it.
Sir John. It is, my dear, to avoid this neceffity
|hat I wilh you to give his letter a reading.
L. Old. Is it poffitole, not to mention the mean-
nefs, that you can be weak enough to expect any
real fervice from that infamous quarter ?
Sir
THE NABOB. 5
$ir Juhn* Who can tell, my love, but a con-
{cioufneis of the mifchief he has done us, may
have rqufed fome feelings that
L. Old. His feelings ! will he liften to a pri-
vate complaint, who has been deaf to the cries
of a people ? or drop a tear for particular dif
trefs, who owes his rife to the ruin of thoufands ?
Sir John. Well, Lady Oldham, I find all that
I fay fignifies nothing. But here comes brother
Thomas ; two heads are better than one j let us
pake his opinion, my love.
L. Old. What need of any opinion ? the cafe
is too clear ; nor indeed, if there had been a
necedity for confulting another, fhould I have
thought your brother the propereft man- to ad-
vife with on theoccafion.
Sir Join. And why not ? there is not a mer
chant whole judgment would be iqoner taken.
L. Old. Perhaps not, on the value of mer-
chandize, or thegoodnefs of a Bill of Exchange;
But there is a nicety, a delicacy, an elevation of
fentiment, in this cafe, which people who have
narrowed their notions with commerce, and con-
fidered during the courie of their lives their in-
tereft alone, will fcarce comprehend.
Enter Mr. Thomas Oldham.
Thomas. So, fitter ! what ! upon your old
topic, I find ?
L. Old.
6 THE N E B O B.
L, Old. Sir !
"Thomas. Some pretty companions, I fuppofe,
not much to the honour of trade.
L. Old. Nay, brother, you know I have always
allowed merchants to be a ufeful body of men ;
and confidered commerce, in this country, as a
pretty refource enough for the younger fhoots of
a family.
Thomas. Exceedingly condefcending, indeed !
And yet, fitter, I could produce you fome in-
itances where the younger fhoots have fiou-
rimed and throve, when the reverend trunk has
decayed.
L. Old. Perhaps, brother Thomas
Thomas. Nay, nay, don't let us revive our
antient difputes ! You feem warm j no mifuri-
derftanding, I hope ?
Sir John. No, no ; none, in the leaft : You
know, my lady's temper's apt to be lively now
and then.
Thomas. Nay, fitter But, come ! what has
occafioned this mighty debate ?
Sir John. You know, brother, how affairs
itand between Sir Matthew and us,
Thomas. Well!
Sir John. He has fent us here a kind of a
compromife; I don't know well what to call
it ; a fort of a treaty,
Thcmas*
t tt E NABOB. 7
Thomas. That in your hand ?
Sir Jehn. Yes j and I can't prevail on my
lady to give it a reading.
Thomas. And why not ?
L. Old. To what end ?
Thomas. A very natural one ; in order to know
the contents.
L. Old, Of what importance can they be to
us?
Thomas. That the letter will tell you. But
furely, Lady Oldham, you are rather too nice*
Give it me !
Sir John. Is it your lady (hip's pleafurc ?
Thomas. Pfha ! here's a rout, indeed ! One
would be apt to-fufpe6t that the packet was
peitilential, and came from the Archipelago,
inftead of the Indies. Now let us fee what this
formidable memorial contains ! [opens the letter.
" To Sir John Oldham. Sir Matthew Mite haw
" ing lately feen, at Lady Levant's rout, the
" eldeft Mils Oldham, and being {truck with
" her perfonal charms, propofes to her father'
'* the following treaty."
L. Old. A very monarchical addrefs !
Thomas. lc Imprimis; Upon a matrimonial
" union between the young lady and him, all
" hoftilities and contention (hall ceafe, and Sir
" John be fuffered to take his feat in fccurity."
L. Old.
8 THE NABOB.
L. Old. That he will do, without ah obliga-
tion to him.
^Thomas. Are you, fitter, certain of that ?
L. Old: You don't harbour the leaft doubt of
Our merits ?
ybcwas. But do they always prevail ?
L. Old. There is now, brother Thomasj ha
danger to dread ; the reftraint the popular part
of government has in this inftance laid on itfelfj
at the fame time that it does honour to them,
diftributes equal juflice to all.
Fbcmas. And arc you aware what the expence
tvill be to obtain it r Buti pray, let me pro-
ceed ! " Secondly, as Sir Matthew is bent upori
" a large territorial acquifition in England, and
" Sir John Oldham's finances are at prefent a lit-
" tie out of repair, Sir Matthew Mite will make
ct up the money already advanced in another
" name, by way of future mortgage upon hia
* c eftate, for the entire purchafe, five lacks of
* 5 roupees."
L. Old. Now, Sir John ! was I right in my
guefs ?
Sir John-. Your lady (hip is never out. But*
brother Thomas, thefe lame lacksto what may
they amount ?
Thomas. Sixty thoufand^ at leafc.
Sir John. No ineonfidcrable offer, my lady.
L. Qld.
THE NABOB. 9
L. Old. Contemptible ! But pray, Sir, proceed.
Thomas. " Or if it fhould be more agreeable
et to the parties, Sir Matthew will fettle upon
" Sir John and his Lady, for their joint lives,
" ajagghire."
Sir John. A jagghire ?
Thomas. The term is Indian, and mean's an.
annual income.
L. Old. What ftrange jargon he deals in !
Thomas. His ftile is a little Oriental, I muft
own j but mod exceedingly clear.
L. Old. Yes, to Coffim Ali-Khan, or Mier
Jaffeir. I hope you are near the conclufion.
Thomas. But two articles more, [reads'] " And
" that the principals may have no cares for the
" younger parts of their family, Sir Matthew
" will, at his own expence, tranfport the two
cc young ladies, Mifs Oldham's two fitters, to
" MadraTs or Calcutta, and there procure them
" fuitable hufbands."
L. Old. Madrais, or Calcutta !
Thomas. Your patience, dear fifter ! fc And
" as for the three boys, they mail be either made
<l fupercargoes, (hips' hufbands, or go out cadets
" and writers in the Company's fervice."
L. Old. Why, he treats my children like a
parcel of convi&s : Is this their method of fup-
plying their fettlemems ?
C Thomas.
xc THE NABOB.
Thomas. This, with now and then a little kid-
napping, dear lifter. Well, madam, you have
now the means of getting rid of all your offspring
at once : Did not 1 tell you the paper was worth
your perufal ? You will reply to his wifn , you
can have no doubts, I fuppole.
L. Old. Not the leaft, as I will fhew you,
If ear fibe, letter. \ And, if Sir John has the leaii
ipirit or pride, he will treat the iniblent principal
as I do his propofals.
Thomas. But that method, as things fland, may
not be altogether fo fafe. 1 am forry you were fo
hafty in deftroying the letter : If I remember
rightly, there is mention made of advancing money
in another man's name.
L. Old. We have been compelled to borrow,
I own ; but I had no conception that he was the
lender.
'Thomas. That's done by a common contrivance -,
not a country lawyer but knows the doctrine of
transfer. How much was the fum ?
Sir John. Ten thoufand pounds.
"Thomas. And what, Sir John, were the terms ?
Sir John. As I could give no real iecurity, my
eftate being fettled till my fon John comes of age,
I found myfelf obliged to comply wiih all that
was afked.
Thomas. A judgment, no doubt.
Sir
THE NABOB. n
Sir John. They divided the fum, and J gave
them a couple.
Thomas. Which will affecYnot only your per-
fon, but perfonal property, fo they are both in
his power.
Sir John. Too true, I am afraid !
Thomas. And you may be fent to a gaol, and
your family turned into the ftreets, whenever he
pleafes.
/,. Old. How ! Heaven forbid !
Thomas. Not the lead doubt can be made.-
This is an artful project : No wonder that fo
much contrivance and cunning has been an over-
match for a plain Englifh gentleman, or an inno-
cent Indian. And what is now to be done?
Pees your daughter Sophy know of this letter?
/,. Old. Sir John ?
Sir John. It reached my hands not ten minutes
ago.
Thomas. I had fome reafon to think, that,
had you complied, you would not have found
her very eager to fecond your wifhes.
L. Old. I don't know that, brother : Young
girls are eafily caught wuh titles and fplendor ;
magnificence has a kind of magick for them.
Thomas. I have a better opinion of Sophy.
You know, Lady Oldham, I have often -hinted,
that my boy was fond of his coufin ; and pofiibly
C 2 my
12 T H E N A B O B,
my niece not totally averfe to his wifli j but you
have always llopp'd me fhort, under a notion
that the children were top nearly allied.
L. Old. Why, brother, don't you. .think
Thomas. But that, filter, was not the right
reafon-, you could haveeafily digefted the coufins,
but the compting-houfe Ituck in his way : Your
favourite maxim has been, that citizens -are a
diftinct race, a fort of creatures that mould mix
with each other.
L.Qld.. liiefs me, brother, you can't conceive
that I -
Thorns. Nay, no apology, good LadyOldham!
perhaps you have a Supper alliance in view ; and
let us now coimder what is to bs done. You are
totally averfe to this treaty ?
L. Old. Can that be a queltion ?
Thomas. Some little management is neceflary,
as to the mode of rejection : As matters now
Itan j, it would not be prudent to exafperate Sir
Matthew.
L. Old. Let Sir John difcharge the debt due
to him at once,
Thomas. But where mail we get materials ?
L. Old. Can that be a difficult tafk ?
Thomas. Exceedingly fo, as I apprehend : But
few can be found to advance fo large a fum on
fuch (lender fecurity ; nor is it to be expected,,
indeed,
THE NABOB. 13
indeed, unlcfs from a friend to relieve, or a foe
to ruin.
. L. Old. Is it poflible Sir Matthew can have
acted from fo infernal a motive, to have advanced
the money with a view of diftreflmg us deeper ?
Thomas, Sir Matthew is a profound politi-
cian, and will not flick at trifles to carry his
point.
L. Old. With the wealth of the Eaft, we have
too imported the worit of its vices. What a
horrid crew !
1'homas. Hold, fitter ! don't gratify your re-
fentment at the expence of your juftice , a gene-
ral conclufion from a fingle inftance is but in-
different logick.
L. Old. Why, is not this Sir Matthew
Thomas. Perhaps as bad a fu eject as your
pafiion can paint him : But there are men from
the Indies, and many too, with whom I have
the honour to live, who difpenfe nobly and with
hofpitality here, what they have acquired with
honour and credit elfewhere \ and, at the fame
time they have increafed the dominions and
wealth, have ac^ied virtues too to their country.
L. Old. Perhaps fo : But what is to be done ?
Suppofe I was to wait on Sir Matthew myfelf.
"Thomas. If your ladylhip is fecure of com-
manding your temper.
Si*
I 4 T H E N A B B.
Sir John. Mercy on us, brother Thomas, there's
no fuch thing as trufting to that !
L. Old. You are always very obliging, Sir
John ! if the embafTy was to be executed by
you
'Thomas. Come, come, to end the difpute, I
will undertake the commiffion myfel'f.
L.Old* You will take care, brother, to make
no conceflions that will derogate from-
1'homas. Your dignity, in my hands, will have
nothing to fear. But fhould not I fee my niece
firft ? fhe ought to be confuhed, I thrnk.
" Sir John. By all means.
" 'Thomas. For, if fhe approves of the knight,
I don't fee any thing in the alliance fo much to
be dreaded.
L. Old. I will fend Sophy to her uncle di-
rectly ; but I defire the girl may be left to htrr-
felf , no undue influence ! [Exit.
Thomas. The caution was needlefs.
Sir John. Why, really, now, brother, but
that my lady's too warm, I don't fee any thing
fo very unreafonable in this fame paper here that
lies fcattered about. But, I forget, did he men-
tion any thing ot any fortune he was to have with
the -,irl ?
Thomas. Pho ! a paltry confideration, below
his concern.
Sir
T HE NABOB. 15
Sir John. My lady herfelf muft own there is
fomething generous in that.
Thomas. Will you ftay and reprefent the cafe
to Sophy yourfelf ?
Sir John. She is here !
Enter Sophy.
Your uncle, child, has fomething to fay to you :
You know he loves you, my dear, and will ad-
vife you for the belt. [Exit.
Thomas. Come hither, Sophy, my love ! don't
be alarmed. I fuppofe my lady has opened to
you, that Sir Matthew has fent a ftrange kind
of a romantic letter.
Scphy. But (he did not feem, Sir, to fuppofe
that it deferved much attention.
Thomas. As matters now (land, perhaps more
than fhe thinks. But come, my good girl, be
explicit : Suppofe the affairs of your family
fhould demand a compliance with this whimfical
letter, mould you have any reluctance to the
union propofed ?
Sopby. Me, Sir ? I never faw the gentleman
but once in my life.
Thomas. And I don't think that would interest
you much in his favour.
Sophy. Sir!
16 THE NABOB.
Thomas. No prepofieflion ? no prior object
that has attracted your notice ?
Sophy. I hopej Sir, my behaviour has not
occafioned this queftion.
Thomas. Oh, no, my dear ^ it naturally took
its rife from the fubject. Has yourcoufm lately
been here ?
Sophy. Sir !
Thomas. Tom Oldham, my fon *
Sophy. We generally fee him, Sir, every day.
Thomas. I am glad to hear that : I was afraid
fome improper attachment had drawn him from
the city fo often of late.
Sophy. Improper ! I dare fay, Sir, you will have
nothing of that kind to fear from my coufin.
Thomas. I hope not : And yet I have had my
fufpicions, I own ; but not unlikely you can re-
move 'em : Children rarely make confidants of
their fathers.
Sophy. Sir!
Thomas. Similarity of fentiments, nearnefs of
blood, and the fame feafon of life, perhaps may
have induced him to unboibm to you.
Sophy. Do you fuppofe, Sir, that he would
difcover to me, what he chofe to conceal from
fo affectionate a father ?
Thomas. Nay, prithee, Sophy, don't be grave !
What, do you imagine I mould think his pre-
ferring
THE N A. B O B. 17
ferring your ear to mine, for a melting paflioriate
tale, any violent breach of his duty ?
Sophy. You are merry, Sir.
Thomas. And who knows but you might re-
pay the communication with a fimilar {lory ?
You blufh, Sophy.
Sophy. You are really pleafed to be fo very
particular, that I fearce know what anfwer to
make.
Thomas. .Come, my good niece, I will perplex
you no longer : My fon has concealed nothing
from me j and did the completion of your wifhes
depend on my approbation alone, you would
have but little to fear : But my lady's notions
are fo very peculiar, you know, and all her prin-
ciples fo determined and fixed *
Sophy. The merits of my coufin, which me
herfelf is not flow to acknowledge, and time,
might, I mould hope, foften my mother.
Thomas. Why then, my dear niece, leave it
to time, in moft cafes the ableft phyfician. But
let your partiality for Tom be a fecret ! I mull
now endeavour to learn when I can obtain an
audience from Sir Matthew.
Sophy. An audience from him ?
Thomas. Yes, child ; thefe new gentlemen,
who from the caprice of Fortune, and a ftrangc
D chain
i8 THE NABOB.
chain of events, have acquired immoderate wealth,'
and rofe to nncontroled power abroad, find it
difficult to defcend from their dignity, and ad-
mit of any equal at home. Adieu, my dear
niece ! But keep up your fpirits ! i think I fore-
fee an event that will produce fome change in
our favour. [Exeunt.
Sir Matthew Mites Hall.
Janus and Conferee di/covered.
Conf. I own the place of a porter, if one can'
bear the confinement And then, Sir Matthew
has the character of [low tap.] Ufe no cere-
mony, Mr. Janus ; mind your door, I befeech
you.
Janus. No hurry ! keep your feat, Mr. Con-
ferve ; it's only the tap of a tradefrr.an : I make
thofe people ftay till they collect in a body,
and fo let in eight or ten at a time -, it fave
trouble.
Conf. And how do they brook it ?
Janus. Oh, wonderfully well, here with us.
In my laft place, indeed, I thought myfeif
bound to be civil; for as all the poor devils
could get was good words, it would have beeu
hard to have been fparing of them.
Conf, Very confiderate !
Janus*
THE NABOB. 19
'Janus. But here we are rich ; and as the fel-
lows don't wait for their money, it is but fair
they mould wait for admittance.
ConJ. Or they would be apt to forget their
condition,
t Januj. True.
. ConJ. Upon the whole, then, you do not re-
gret leaving my lord ?
Janus. No ; Lord Levee's place had its fweets,
I confefs ; perquifites pretty enough : But what
could I do ? they wanted to give .me a rider.
ConJ. A rider?
Janus. Yes-, to quarter Monfieur Friflarr,
.my Lady's valet de chambre, upon me; fo
you know I could not but in honour refign.
ConJ. No ; there was no bearing to be rid by
a Frenchman , there was no (laying in after that.
Janus. It would have been quoted as a pr&
cedent againft the whole corps.
ConJ. Yes. Pox on 'em ! our matters are
damned fond of encroachments. Is your prer
ient duty fevere ?
Janus. I drudge pretty much at the door ;
but that, you know, is mere bodily labour :
But then, my mind is at eafe ; not obliged to,
fack my brain for invention,
ConJ. No?
D a
3 THE NABOB.
Janus. No \ not near the lying here, as in tny
laft place.
Conf. I fuppofe not, as your mafter is but
newly in town -, bu.t you mud expeft that branch
to encreafe.
Janus. When it does, I mall infill the door.
be done by a deputy. [Two raps.
Conf. Hark ! to your poft !
Janus. No ; fit ftill ! that is fpme aukward
body out of the city ; one of our people from
Leadenhall-Street -, perhaps a director ; I fha'n't
ftir for him.
Conf. Not for a director ? I thought he was
the commanding officer, the Great Captain's
captain.
Janus. No, no; quite the reverfe , the tables
are turned, iVIr. Conlerve : In acknowledgment
for appointing us their iervants abroad, we are
Jo obliging as to make them djreclors at home.
[A loud rapping.
Conf. That rap will roufe you, I think.
Janus. Let rr.e take a peep at the wicket. Oh,
oh ! is it you, with a pox to you ? How the
deuce came your long legs to find the wav hi-
ther? I fnall t>e in no hafte to open for you.
Conf. Who is it?
Janus. That eternal teller, Sir Timothy Tall-
hov.
THE-NABOB. 21
i>oy. When once he gets footing, there is DO
Juch rhino; as keeping him out.
ConJ. What, you know him then ?
Janus. Yes, rot him, I know him too well!
he had like to have loft me the beft place J ever
had in my life.
Co;?/. How fo ?
Janus. Lord Lofty had given orders en no
account to admit him. The nrft time, he got by
me under a pretence of ftroking Keeper the
houfe-dog , the nexr, he nick'd me by defiring
only j uft leave to fcratch the poll of the parrot,
Poll, Poll, Poll ! I thought the devil was in him
jf he deceived me a third ; but he did, notwith-
ftanding.
ConJ. Prithee, Janus, how ?
Janus. By begging to let his watch by Tompion's
clock in the Hall ; I fmoaked his defign, and laifl
hold of him here : [taking hold of bis coat.] As
fure as you are alive, he made but one leap from
the flairs fp the ftudy, and left the fkirt of his
coat in my hand ?
Co;?f. You got rid of him then ?
Janus. He made one attempt more ; and, for
fear he mould (lip by me, (for you know he is
as thin as a Dice of beef at Marybone-Gardens),
I ilapped the door in his face, and told him, the
(log was mad, the parrot dead, and the clock
ftoodj
24 T II E N A B O B.
ftcod ; and, thank Heaven, I have never fat eyes
on him fince. [Knock louder*
ConJ. But the door !
Janus. Time enough. You had no particular
commands, mafter Conferve ?
ConJ. Only to let you know that Betfy Robing
has a rout and fupper on Sunday next.
Janus. Conftant ftill, Mr. Conferve, I fee. I
am afraid I can't come to cards - t but fhali be fure
to attend the repaft. A nick-nack, I fuppofe ?
ConJ. Yes, yes -, we all contribute, as ufual :
The fubftandals from Alderman Sirloin's ; Lord
Frippery's cook finds fricafees and ragouts ; Sir
Robert Bumper's butler is to fend in the wine.j
and I fhall fupply the defert. iB$
Janus. There are a brace of birds and a hare,
that I cribbed this morning out of a bafket of
game.
ConJ. They will be welcome. [Knock louder .]
But the folks grow impatient !
Janus. They muft ftay till I come. At ;he
old place, I fuppofe ?
ConJ. No ; I had like to have forgot ! Betfy
grew fick of St. Paul's, fo I have taken her a
i houfe amongft the new buildings 5 both the air
2nd the company is better,
. Janus. Right,
THE NABOB. ftj
CwJ. To fay truth, the fituation was difagree-
able on many accounts, Do you know, though I.
took care few people ihould behave better at
Chriftmas, that becaufe he thought her a citizen,,
the houfekeeper of Drury-Lane Theatre, when
his mailer mounted, refuied her a fide-box?
Janus. No wonder Mifs Betfy was bent upon
moving. What is the name of her ftreet ?
Conf. Rebel-Row : It was built by a meflenger
who made his market in the year forty-five. Buc
lhall Mifs Robins fend you a card ?
Janus. No, no ; I fhall eafily find out the
place. \_Kr t cfk.'] Now let us fee-, who have we
here ? Gads my life, Mrs. Match'em ! my
mailer's amorous agent : It is as much as my
place is worth to let her wait for a minute.
[Opens the door. Exit Conf,
Enter Mrs. Mafcb'em, Jome Tradespeople, who
loiv low to Janus, and 'Thomas Oldham.
Match. So, Sir ! this is pretty treatment, for
a woman like me to dangle at your gate, fur-
rounded by a parcel of traddpeople !
Janus. I beg pardon y but, madam *
Match. Suppoie any of my ladies had chanced
to* drive by : In a pretty fituation they'd have
fcen me ! I promife you I fliall make my com-
plaints to Sir Matthew.
Janus j
24 THE NABOB'.
Janus. I was receiving fomq particular
tnands from my mailer.
Match. I mall know that from him. Where
is he ? let him know I muft fee him directly ;
rtiy hands are fo full I have not a moment to
fpare.
Janus. At that door the groom of* the cham-
ber will take you in charge , I am fure you'll
be admitted as foon as announced.
Match, There is as much difficulty to get a
light of this fignior, as of a member when the 1
parliament's diflblved ! [Exit.
Janus. Soh ! what, you have brought in your
bills ? damned punctual, no doubt ! The flew-
ard's room is below. And, do you hear ? when
you are paid, be fure to fneak away without fee-
ing me.
All 'Trade/. We hope you have a better opi-
nion
Janus. Well, well, march ! [Exe. Tradefmen.]
So, friend ; what is your bufmefs, pray ?
- -Thomas* 1 have a meffage to deliver to Sir
Matthew.
Janus. You have ? and pray what is the pur-
port ?
^hcmas. That's for his ear alone.
Janus. You will find yourfdf miitaken in that.
How ?
Januj.
THE NABOB. 55
Janus. It muft make its way to his, by paffing
tliro* mine.
Thomas. Is that the rule of the houfe ?
Janus. Ay ; and the beft way to avoid idle
and impertinent pratlers.
Thomas. And of that you are to judge ?
Janus-. Or I iliould not be fit for my pofl.
Bur., you are very importunate ; who are you ?
'I fuppofe a Jew broker, come to bring my
matter the price of the flocks ?
Thomas. No.
Janus. Or fome country ccufin, perhaps ?
Thomas. Nor that neither.
Janus. Or a voter from our borough below ?
we never admit them but againft an election.
Thomas. Still wide of the mark. \Afide."\
There is but one way of managing here ; I muft
give the Cerberus a fop, I perceive. Sir, I have
really bufmefs with Sir Matthew, of the utmoft
importance ; and if you can obtain me an in-
terview, I fhall think myfclf extremely obliged.
[Gives money,
Janus. As I fee, Sir, by your manner, that
it is a matter of moment, we will try what can
be done -, but you muft wait for his levee j there
is no feeing him yet.
'Thomas. No?
Janus. He is<oo bufy at prefent , the waiter
E at
a TtfE NABOB.
at Almack's has juft brought him home his
macaroni drefs for the hazard^table, a.nd is in-r
ftracTing him to throw the dice with a grace.
'Thomas '. Then where can I wait ?
Janus. If you will ftep into that room, I will
take care to call you in time. [Exit Mr. Old.]
-Looking at tbe money.] A good fenfible fellow !
At firft fight, how eaftly one may be miflakeij
in men ! A*V.
ACT
THE NABOB. t;
ACT II.
A Chamber. Sir Matthew Mite in his gaming
S) a Waiter attending.
Mite.
MAIN and chance ?
Waiter. Five to nine, pleafe your honour.
Mite. I am at all that is Tec. How muft I
proceed ?
Waiter. With a tap, as the chances are equal ;
then raife the box genteelly and gently, with
the finger and thumb.
Mite. Thus?
Waiter. Exactly, your honour. Cinque and
quater : You're out.
Mite. What is next to be done ?
Waiter. Flirt the bones with an air of indiffe-
rence, and pay the money that's fet.
Mite. Will that do ? .
Waiter. With a little more experience, ypur
honour.
Mite. Then pafs the box to my neighbour ?
Waiter. Yes j or you make a back hand, if
you pleafe.
E 2
$8 T H E N A B O B.
Mite. Cou'dn't you give me ibme general
rules ? for then, you know, I might pradife in
private.
Waiter. By all means. Seven, Sir, is better
nicked by a ftamp.
Mite. So ?
waiter. Yes, When you want to throw fix
and four, or two cinques, you muft take the
long gallery, and whirl the dice to the end of
the table.
Mitt. Thus?
Waiter. Pretty well, pleafe your honour.
When your chance is low, as tray, ace, or two
deuces, the belt method is to dribble out the
bones from the box.
Mite. Will that do ?
Waiter. Your honour comes rapidly o'n.
r Mite. So that, perhaps, in a couple of months,
I fhall be able to tap, flirt, ftamp, dribble, and
whirl, with any man in the club ?
Wftiter. As your honour has a genius, you
will make a wonderful progrefs, no doubt : But
thefe nice matters are not got in a moment , there
ffiuft be parts, as well as pradicq your honour.
Mite. What ! parts for the performance of
this ?
Waiter. This ? Why, there's Sir Chriftopher
Clumfey, in the whole lofing his fortune, (and
I believe
THE N A fc B. 29
t believe he was near a twelvemonth about it)
never once threw, paid, or received, with one
atom of grace.
Mite. He muft have been a dull devil, indeed.'
Waiter. A mere dunce ! got no credit by
lofing his money j was ruined without the leaft
reputation.
Mite. Perhaps fo. Well, but, Dick, as to,
the oaths and phrafes that are moil in ufe at the
club?
Waiter,. I have brought them here in this pa-
psr :- As foon as your honour has got them by
heart, I will teach you when and in what man-
ner to ufe them.
Mite, [after looking at the paper.'] How long
clo you apprehend before I may be fit to appear
at the table ?
Waiter. In a month or fix weeks. I would
advife your honour to begin in the Newmarket
week, when the few people left do little better
than piddle.
Mite. Right : So I mall gain confidence againft
the club's coming to town.
Enter Servant \
Serv. Mrs. Crocus, from Brompton, your
honour.
Mite. Has me brought me a bouquet ?
36 f&fc NABO&
Serti. Your honour ?
Mite. Any nolegays, you blockhead ?
Serv. She has a boy with a bafkct.
Mite. Shew her in ! [Exit rrzr/.] Weti,
JDick, you will go down to my fteward, and
teach him the beft method of making a rouleau.
And, do you hear ? let him give you one for
your pains.
Waiter. Your honour's obedient ! You'd have
me attend every morning ?
Mite. Without doubt : It would be madnefs
to lofe a minute, you know. [Exit Writer*
Enter Mrs. Crocus*
"Well, Mrs* Crocus , let us fee what you have
brought me. Your lad bouquet was as big as
a broom, with a tulip ftrutting up like a ma-
giftrate's mace; and, befides, made me look
like a devil.
Crocus. I hope your honour could find no
fault with the flowers ? It is true, the polyan-
thufes were a little pinched by the eafterly winds \
but for pip, colour, and eye, I defy the whole
pariih of Fulham to match 'em.
Mite. Perhaps not ; but it is not the flowers,
but the mixture, I blame. Why, here now,
Mrs. Crocus, one mould think you were out of
your fenftSj to cram in this clump of jonquils !
Crocus,
T H E NABOB. 3 t
Crocus. I thought your honour was fond of
-their fmell.
Mite. Damn their fmell ! it is their colour I
talk of. You know my complexion has been
tinged by the Eait, and you bring me here a
blaze of yellow, that gives me the jaundice,,
Look ! do you fee here, what a fine figure I cut ?
You might as well have tied me to a bundle of
fun-flowers !
Crocus. I beg pardon, your honour!
Mite. Pardon ! there is no forgiving faults of'
this kind. Juft fo you ferved Harry Hectic ;
you ftuck into his bolbm a parcel of hyacinths,
though the poor fellow's face is. as pale as a
primrofe.
Crocus. I did not know
Mite. Aftd there, at the opera, the poor crea-
ture fat in his fide-box, looking Pike one of the
figures in the glals-caies in Weflminfter-Abbey j
cjead and dreft !
Crocus. If gentlemen would but give direcr
tions, I would make it my ftudy to fuit'em..
Mite. But that your curfed climate won't let
you. Have you any pinks or carnations in
bloom ?
Crocus. They are not in feafqn, your honour,
Billies of the valley
Mite. I hate the, whple tribe! What, you
want
3-j THE NABOB,
v/ant to drefs me tip like a corpfe I When
,you have any rofe-buds ?
Crocus. The latter end of the month, pi cafe
'your honour.
Mite. At that time you may call.
Crocus. Your honour has no further com-
mands ?
Mite. None. You may fend nofegays for my
chairmen, as ufual. [Exit Mrs. Crccns.~\ Pic-
card ! Here, take that garland away : I believe
'the woman thought me was drefiing a maypole.
Make me a bouquet with the artificial flower's
I brought from Milan.
Enter Servant.
Serv. Would 'your honour pleafe to fee Ma-*
dam Match*em ?
Mite. Introduce her this 'inftant.
Enter Mrs. Malch'ew.
My dear Match'em ! Well, what news fronj
/ r ', .
'Cheap fide ?
Match. Bad enough j very near a total defeat.
'Mite. How fo ? you were furnimed'with am-
ple 'materials.
Mi-tch. But not of the right kind, pleafe your
honour. I have had but little fntercourfe with
ih..\t part of the world : My buTmefs'has chiefly
lain
THE NABOB. 33
lain on this fide of the Bar , and I was weak
enough to think both cities alike.
Mite. And arn't they ?
Match. No two nations can differ fo widely !
Though money is fuppofed the idol of mer-
chants, their wives don't agree in the worfhip.
M{te. In that article I thought the whole
world was united.
Match. No ; they don't know what to do
with their money ; -a Pantheon fubfcription, or
a mafquerade ticket, is more negotiable there
than a note from the Bank.
Mite. What think you of a bracelet, or a
well-fancied aigret ?
Match. I mould think they muft make their
way.
Mite. I have fent fome rough diamonds to
be polifhed in Holland ; when they are returned,
I will equip you, Match'em, with fome of thefe
toys.
Match. Toys ? how light he makes of thefe
things ! Blefs your noble and generous foul !
I believe for a trifle more I could have obtained
Lady Lurcher laft night.
Mite. Indeed ?
Match. She has been prefied a good deal to
difcharge an old fcore, long due to a knight
from the North , and play-debts, your honour
F knowij
34 THE NABOB.
knows, there is no paying in part : She Teemed
deeply diftrefTed ; and I really believe another hun-
dred would have made up the fum.
Mite. And how came you not to advance it ?
Match. I did not chufe to exceed my co:i>-
miffion j your honour knows the bill was only
for five.
Mite. Oh, you fhould have immediately male
it up , you know I never Hint myfelf in thefe
matters.
Match. Why, had I been in cam, I believe I
fhould have ventured, your honour. If your
honour approves, I have thought of a project
that will lave us both a good deal cf trouble.
Mite. Communicate, good Mrs. Match'cm !
Match. That I may not peiler you with ap-
plications for every trifle I want, fuppofe you
were to depofit a round fum in my hands.
Mite. What, Match'cm, make you my banker
for beauty ? Ha, ha, ha !
Match. Exaclly, your honour. Ha, ha, ha !
Mite. Faith, Match'em, a very good conceit.
Match. You may depend on my punctuality
in paying your drafts.
Mite. I don't harbour the lead doubt of your
honour.
Match. Would you have me proceed in Patty
Parrington's bufmefs ? She is expected from Bath
in a week.
THE NABOB. 35
Mitt. And what becomes of her aunt ?
Match. That Argus is to be left in the countcy.
Mite. You had better fufpend your operations
for a while. Do you know, Mrs. Match'em,
that I am a-going to be married ?
Match. Married ? your honour's pleafed to be
pleafant : That day I hope never to fee.
Mite. The treaty wants nothing but her friends*
ratification ; and I think there is no danger of
their with-holding that.
Match. Nay, then, the matter is as good as
concluded : I was always in dread of this fatal
ftroke !
Mite. But, March'em, why ihould you be fo
averfe to the meafure ?
Match. Can it be thought, that with dry eyes
J could bear the lofs of fuch a friend as your
honour ? I don't know how it is, but I am fure
I never took fuch a fancy to any man in my life.
Mite. Nay, Match'em !
Match. Something fo magnificent and princely
in all you fay or do, that a body has, as I may
fay, a pleafure in taking pains in your fervice.
Mite. Well, but prithee, child
Match. And then, when one has brought
matters to bear, no after-reproaches, no grum-
blings from parties, fuch general fatisfadion on
all fides ! I am fure, fince the dt-ath of my huf-
F 2 band,
36 THE NABOB.
band, as honeft a man, except the thing he died
for
Mite. How came that about, Mrs. Match'em ?
Match. Why, Kit was rather apt to be carelefs,
and put a neighbour's name to a note without
flopping to afk his confent.
Mite. Was that all ?
Match. Nothing elfe. Since that day, I faw
no mortal has caught my eye but your honour.
Mite. Really, Match'em ?
Match. I can't fay, neither, it was the charms
of your perfon though they are fuch as any
lady might like but it was the beauties of your
mind, that made an impreffjon upon me.
Mite. Nay, prithee, Match'em, dry up your
tears ! you diftrefs me ! Be perfuaded you have
nothing to fear.
Match. How !
Mite. Why, you don't fuppofe that I am
prompted to this project by paflion ?
Match. No ?
Mite. Pho ! no ; only wanted a wife to com-
plete my eftablimment j juft to adorn the head
of my table.
Match. To flick up in your room, like any
other fine piece of furniture ?
Mite. Nothing elfe ; as an antique buft or a
picture.
Matd*.
THE NABOB. 37
Match. That alters the cafe.
Mite. Perhaps, I fnall be confined a little at
firft ; for when you take or bury a wife, decency-
requires that you fhould keep your houfe for a
week : After that time, you will find me, dear
Match'em, all that you can vvifli.
Match. Ah ! that is more than your honour
can tell. I have known fome of my gentlemen,
before marriage, make as firm and good refolu-
tions not to have the leaft love or regard for their
wives ; but they have been feduced after all, and
turned out the pooreil tame family fools !
Mite. Indeed ?
Match. Good for nothing at all.
Mite. That lhall not be my cafe.
Enter Servant.
Serv. Your honour's levee is crouded.
Mite. I come. Piccard, give me my coat! I
have had fome thoughts of founding in this town
a feraglioj they are of fingular ufe in the Indies:
Do you think I could bring it to bear ?
Match. Why, a cuftomer of mine did formerly
make an attempt ; but 'he purfued too violent
meafures at firft ; wanted to confine the ladies
againft their confent ; and that too in a country
of freedom.
Mite. Oh, fy ! How the belt inftitutions may
fail, for want of a man proper to manage !
354582
38 THE NABOB.
Mutch. But your honour has had great ex-
perience. If you would bellow the direction on
me
Mite. Impoflible, Match Vm ! in the Eaft we
never confide that office to your lex or com-
plexion. I had fome thoughts or importing
three blacks from Bengal, who have bten properly
prepared for the fervice ; but I fha'n't venture
till the point is determined whether thofe crea-
tures are to be coniidered as mere chattels, or
men. [Exeunt.
A Sale en.
Enter Mayor, fouchit, Nathan, Mcfes, &c.
Serv. Walk in, gentlemen ! his honour will
be prefently here.
Foucbit. Do you fee, Mr. Mayor ? look about
you ! here are noble apartments !
Mayer. Very fine, very curious, indeed ! Bur,
after all, Mafter Touchit, I am not fo over-fond
of thefe Nabobs ; for my part, I had rather fell
myfclf to fomebody elfe.
"Toucblt. And why fo, Mr. Mayor ?
Mayor. I don't know they do a mortal deal
of harm in the country : Why, wherever any of
them fettle?, it raifes the price of proviiions for
thirty miles round. People rail at feafons and
crops ; in my opinion, it is all along with them
there folks, that things are fo fcarce.
Tcttd'it.
THE NABOB. 39
Touchit. Why, you talk like a fool ! Suppoie
they have mounted the beef and mutton a trifle ;
a'n't we obliged to them too for railing the value
of boroughs ? You mould always fet one againit
t'other.
Mayor. That, indeed, is nothing but fair. But
how comes it about ? and where do theje here
people get all their wealth ?
^Touchit. The way is plain enough ; from our
lettlements and pofteffions abroad.
Mayor. Oh, may be fo. I've been often minded
to afk you what fort of things them the-re fettle-
ments are ; becaufe why, as you know, I have
been never beyond lea.
Touchit. Oh, Mr. Mayor, I will explain that
in a moment : Why, here are a body of mer-
chants that beg to be admitted as friends, and take
poffefiion of a fmall fpot in a country, and carry
on a beneficial commerce vviih the inoffenfive and
innocent people, to which they kindly give their
confenr.
Mayor. Don't you think now that is very civil
of them ?
<Touchit. Doubtlefs. Upon which, Mr. Mayor,
we cunningly encroach, and fortify by little and
by little, till at length, we growing too ftrong
for the natives, we turn them out of their lands,
and take poflcfiion of their money and jewels.
Mayor.
4 o THE NABOB.
Mayor. And don't you think, Matter Touchic,
that is a little uncivil in us ?
^ouchit. Oh, nothing at all : Thefe people
are but a little better than Tartars or Turks.
Mayor. No, no, Matter Touch it , juft the
reverfe , it is they have caught the Tartars in us.
Touchit. Ha, ha, ha ! well faid, Mr. Mayor.
But, hufh ! here comes his honour. Fall back !
Enter Sir Matthew Mite.
Mite. Oh, Nathan ! are you there ? You have
fplit the (lock, as I bid you ?
Nathan. I vas punctually obey your directions.
Mite. And I fhall be in no danger of lofing
my lift ?
Nathan. Dat is fafe, your honour , we have
noting to fear.
Mite. Mofes Mendoza ! You will take care to
qualify Peter Pratewell and Counfellor Quibble ?
I fhall want fome fpeakers at the next General
Court.
Mofes. Pleafe your honour, I fhall be careful
of clat.
Mite. How is the ftock ?
Mofes. It vas got up the end of the veek.
Mite. Then fell out till you fink it two and a
half. Has my advice been followed for burning
the tea ?
THE NABOB. 4*
Mofes. As to dat matter, I vas not enquire
itet ; I believe not.
Mfte. So that commodity will foon be a drug.
The Englim are too proud to profit by the prac-
tice of others : What would become of the fpice
tradei if the Dutch brought their whole growth'
to market ?
Mofes. Dat is very true. Your Honour has
no farder commands ?
Mite. None at prefent, mafter Meridosa.
[Exit Mefttfoz'a.
Nathan. For de next fettlementj would your
honour be de bull or de bear ?
Mite. I mail fend you my orders to Jona-
than's. Oh, Nathan ! did you tell that man irt
Berkfhire, I would buy his eftate ?
Nathan. Yes; but he fay he has no mind,
rio occafion to fell it ; dat de eftate belong to
great many faders before him.
Mile. Why, the man mlift be mad ; did you
tell him I had taken a fancy to the fpotj when I
was but a boy ?
Nathan. I vas tell him & miich,
Mite. And that all the time I was in India,
my mind was bent upon the purchafe ?
Nathan. I vas fay fo.
Mire, And now I'm cbme home, &rh deter-
mined to buy it ?
G j
4 T H E NABOB.
Nathan. I make ufe of de very vords.
Mite. Well then ! what would the booby be
at?
Nathan. I don't know.
Mite. Give the fellow four times the value,
and bid him turn out in a month. [20 'Toucbit.']
May I prefume, Sir, to afk who you are, and
what your bufmefs may be ?
Voucbit. My name, Sir, is Touchit, and thefe
gentlemen fome friends and neighbours of mine.
We are "ordered by the Chriftian Club, of the
borough of Bribe'em, to wait upon your honour.,
with a tender of the nomination of our two
members at the enfuing election.
Mite. Sir, I accept their offer with.pieafure ;
and am nappy 10 rind, notwithftanding all that
has been faid, that t'ne union trill fubfifts be-
tween Bengal and the ancient corporation of
Bribe'em.
^LQ-icbit. And if they ever are fevered, I can
aiTure your honour the Chriilian Club will not be
to blame. Your honour understands me, I hope ?
Mite. Perfectly. Norfhall it, I promife you,
be my fault, good Mr. Touchit. But,- (you will
forgive my curioiity,- Sir !) the name your club
has adopted, has at fir it a whimfical found j but
you had your reafons, no doubt.
'ToiubiL The very belt in the world, pleafe.
VOUF
THE NABOB. 43
your honour : From our ft ride union and bro-
therly kindnefs, we hang together -, like the
primitive Chriftians 'too, we have all things in
common.
Mite, In common ? I don't apprehend you.
Toucbit. Why, pleafe your honour, 'when the
bargain is ftruck, and the depofit is made, as a
proof that we love our neighbours as well as
ourfelves, we fubmit to an equal partition ; no
man has a larger mare than another.
- Mite. A moil Chriftian-like diipenfation !
Touchit. Yes; in our borough ail is unanimity
now: Formerly, we had nothing but difcontents
and heart-burnings amongft us , each man jea-
lous and afraid that his neighbour got more end
did better than him.
Mite. Indeed ?
^(jucbit. Ay, and with reafon fometimes.
\Vhy, I remember, at the election ibme time ago,
when I took up my freedom, I could get but
thirty guineas for a new pair of jack-boots;
whilft Tom Ramfkin over the way had a fifty-
pound note for a. pair of wafh-leather breeches.
Mite. Very partial indeed !
foucbit. So, upon the whole, we thought it
beft to unite.
Mite. Oh, much the beft. Well,. Sir, you
jr.ay allure your principals that I {hall take care
G % properly
f THE N A E O B.
properly to acknowledge the feryice they da
me.
ToHcbit. No doubt, no doubt. But wiil
your honour ftep a little this way ? Though no
queftion can be made of yctur honour's keeping
yOur Word, yet it lias always beep the rule with
Our club, to receive the proper acknowledgment
before th,e fcryice is done.
Mite. Ay, but, Mr. Touchjt, fuppofe the
fervice ihould never be done ?
foucbit.. What then mult become of our con-
Sciences I We are Chriftians, your honour.
Mite. True ; butj, Mr. T.ouchit, you remem-
ber the proverb ?
tyjiisktt. What proverb, your honour
Mile. There are two bad pay-mafters , thoie
who pay before, and thofe who never pay.
"fsxcbit. True, your honour -, but our club
Jias always found, that thoie who don't pay bo-'
-.'ore are fare never to pay.
Mile. How ! impoflible I the man who breaks
his word with fuch faithful and honeft adhe-
rents, deferves richly a haker. Gentlemen } i^
rny opinion, he deferves to be hanged.
'Toucbit. Hufh ! have a care what you fay.
Mite. What is the matter ?
'foui-bit. You fee the fat man that is behind ;
he will be the returning officer at the ekclio,*.
Mite.
THE N A p O B. 45
Mite. What then ?
ou'cbit. On a gibbet at the end of our town
there hangs a fmuggler, for robbing the cuftom-
houfe.
Mite. Well?
Toucbit. The mayor's own brother, your ho-
nour : Now, perhaps, he may be jealous that you
meant to throw fome refledlion on him or his
family*
Mite. <Jpt unlikely. I fay, gentlemen, who-
.ever violates his promife to fuch faithful friend?
as you are, in my poor opinion, deieryes to be
damned !
Touckit. That's right! ftick to that ! for tho ?
the Chriftian Club rnay have fome fears of
the gallows, they don't value damnation of 4
farthing,
Mite. Why mould they, as it may be fo long
Before any thing of that kin4 may happen, you
.know ?
rW&t/. Good ! good again ! Your honour
takes us rightly, I fee : I make no doubt, it won'p
be long before vve come to a good underftajiding.-
Mite. The fooner the better, good matter
Touchit j and, therefore, in one word, pray what;
are your terms ?
Touchit, Do you mean tor one, or would your
honour bargain for bush I
4 6 THE NABOB.
Mite. Both, both.
Toitcbit. Why, we could not have afforded you
one under three thoufanci at lead , but as your
honour, as I may fay, has a mind to deal in the
grofs, we lhall charge you but five for both.
Mite. Oh fy ! above the market, good Mr.
Touchit !
Touchit. Dog-cheap-, neck-beef; a penny-
loaf for a halfpenny! Why, we had partly
agreed to bring in Sir Chriftopher Quinze and
major Matc.h'em for the very fame mor/ey . but
the major has been a little unlucky at Almack'-s,
and at prefent can't depofit the needful -, but he
fays, however, if he mould be fuccefsful atthenext
Newmarket meeting, he will faithfully abide by
the bargain : But the turf, your honour knows,
is but an uncertain eftate, and fo we can't de-
pend upon him.
Mile. True. Well, Sir, as I may fcon have
cccafion for all the friends I can make, I mall
hnggle no longer -, I accept your propofals : In
the next room we will fettle the terms.
'Toucbit. Your honour will always find the
Chriilians fleady and firm. But, won't your
honour introduce us to his Wcrfhip whilft we
are here ?
Mite. To his W'ormip ? to whom ?
Tcuchit. To the gentleman in black.
Mite.,
THE NABOB. 47.
Mite. Worfliip ? you are mad, Mr. Touchit !
That is a flave I brought from the Indies.
'Touchit. Good lack ! may be fo ! I did not know
but the gentleman might belong to the tribe,
who, we are told by the papers, conferred thofc
Iplendid titles upon your honour in India.
Mite. Well, Matter Touchit, what then ?
.Toucbit. I thought it not unlikely, but, in
return to that compliment, your honour might
chufe to make one of the family member for
the corporation of Bribe'em.
Mite. Why, you would not fubmit to accept
of a Negro ?
'foufbit. Our prefent members, for aught we.
know, may be of the fame complexion, your
honour ; for we have never fet eyes on them yet.
Mite. That's ftrange ! But, after all, you
could not think of electing a black ?
1'cucbit. That makes no difference to us : The
Chnftian Club has ever been perfuaded, that a
.good candidate, like a good horle, can't be of
a bad colour. [Exit with friends <
t
Enter Tbomas Oldbam and others.
Mite [to Oldbam]. What is your bufinefs,-
and name ?
'Thomas. Old ham.
Mite,
4* THE NABOB.
Mite. The brother of Sir John ? I have hedrd
of you : You are, if I miftake notj a merchant ?
Thomas. I have that honour, Sir Matthew.
Mite. Um ! honour! Well) Sirj and what
are your commands ?
Thomas. I wait on you in the name of my bro-
therj with ^
Mite. An anfwer to the meflage I fcnt him.
When do we meet to finifli the matter ? It muft
be tomorrow, or Sunday^ for I (hall be bufy
next week,
fhomas. Tomorrow ?
Mite. Ay -, it is not for a man like me to dan-
gle and court- Mr. Oldham.
Thomas. Why, to be plain. Sir Matthew, it
would, I am afraid; be but lofing your time.
Mite: Sir ?
Thomas. As there is not one in the family, that
fcems the leaft inclined to favour your wilh.
Mite. No ? ha, ha, ha ! that's plealant enough \
ha, ha, ha ! And why not ?
Thomas. They are, Sir Matthew, no ftrangers
to your great power and wealth > but corrupt as
you may Conceive this country to be, there are
fuperior fpirits living, who would difdain ah il-
liance with grandeur obtained at the expence of
hpnour and virtue.
THE NABOB. 49
Mite. And what relation has this fentimental
declaration to me ?
'Thomas. My intention, Sir Matthew, was not
to offend j I was defired to wait on you with a
civil denial.
Mite. And you have faithfully discharged your
com million.
Thomas. Why, I'm a man of plain manners,
Sir Matthew -, a fupercilious air, or a fneer, won';
prevent me from fpeaking my thoughts.
Mite. Perfectly right, and prodigioufly pru-
dent ! Well, Sir ; I hope it won't be thought
too pnefuming, if I defire to hear my fentencc
proceed from the mouth of the father and
daughter.
Thomas. By all means ; I will wait on you
thither.
Mite. That is not fo convenient, at preftnt.
I have brought from Italy, antiques, fome cu-
rious remains, which are to be depofited in the
archives of this country : The Antiquarian So-
ciety have, in confequen.ee, chofen me one of their
body, and this is the hour of reception.
Thomas. We fiiall fee you in the courfe ' of
the day ?
Mile. At the clofe of the ceremony. Perhaps,
1 {hall have fomething to urge, that may procure
me ibms favour from your very refpedable
H family,--;
|S T H E N A B O B,
family. Piccard, attend Mr. A a a to '{he
cloor.
fbomas. I guefs your defign, [x/4.
Mite,, Who waits there ?
JLnter Servant.
Step to my attorney directly, bid him attend me
within an hour at Oldham's, armed with all the
powers I gave him. [Exit Servant..
I will fee if I can't bend to my will this fturdy
race of infolent beggars 1 After all, riches to a
man who knows how to employ them, are as
ufeful in England as in any part 'of the Eaft : ^here
they gain us thofe ends in fpite and defiance of
law, which, with a proper agent, may here b?
obtained under the pretence arid colour of law.
[Exit,
ACT
!T H E NABOB. 51
ACT ffi.
be Antiquarian Society,
Secretary.
SI R Matthew Mite, preceded by his prefect^
will attend this honourable Society this
morning.
1 Ant. Is he apprlfed that an inauguratidn-
fpeech is required, in which he is to exprefs his
love of vertu, and produce proofs of his antique
Erudition ?
Sec. He has been apprifed, and is rightly
prepared.
2 Ant. Are the minutes ( of our laft meeting
fairly recorded and eiltered ?
Sec. They are.
1 Ant. Arid the valuable antiques which have
happily efcaped the depredations of time ranged
and regiftered rightly ?
Sec. All in order*
2 Ant. As there are tletfr acquisitions to the
Society's (lock, I think it is right that the metric
hers fliould be inftrufted in their feveral nature*
and names.
I Ant. By all means. Read the lift !
Stt. " Imprrmis, In a large glafs-cafe, and irt
** fine prefervation, the tdfc of the flipper of
H % " Cardinal
2 THE N A B O H.
" Cardinal Pandulpho, with which he kick'd th<*
" breech of King John, at Swinftead- Abbey, when
<e he gave him abfolution and penance."
2 Ant. A moft noble remains !
i Ant. An excellent antidote againft the pro-
grefs of Popery, as.it proves the Pontiff's info-
lent abufe of his power ! Proceed.
Sec. " A pair of nut-crackers prefented by
" Harry the Eighth to Anna Bullen the eve of
" their nuptials ; the wood fuppofed to be
" walnut."
1 Ant. Which proves that before the Reforma-
tion walnut-trees were planted rn England.
Sec. " The cape of Queen Elizabeth's riding-
*' hood, whidh fhe wore on a folemn feftival,
" when carried behind Burleigh to Paul's ^ the
<l cloth undoubted!^ Kidderminfter."
2 Ant. A moft inftruftive leffon to us, as it
proves that patriotic princtfs wore nothing but
the manufactures of England !
Sec. " A cork-fcrew prefented by Sir John
<e Falflaff to Harry the Fifth, with a tobacco-
" Hopper of Sir Walter Raleigh's, made of the
" ftern of the fhip in which he firft compafled
" the globe , given to the Society by a clergy-
" man from the North-Riding of Yorkfhire."
i AnP. A rare inftance of generofity, as they
muft have both been cf fingular ule to the reve-
rend donor himfelf !
&
t ti E NABOB. 55
&V. " A curious collection, in regular and
* c undoubted fuccefTion, of all the tickets of
*' lilington-Turnpike, from its firft inftitution.
< to the twentieth of May."
2 Ant. Preferve them with care^ as they may
hereafter ferve to illuftrate that part of the
Englifh Hiftory.
Stc. " A wooden medal of Shakefpeare, made
** from the mulberry-tree he planted himfelf-,Avith
** aQiieen Anne's farthing; from the Manager of
" Drury-Lane Playhoufe."
i Ant. Has he received the Society's thanks ?
Sec. They are fent.
"Enter Beadle.
Beadle. Sir Matthew Mite attends at the door.
I Ant. Let him be admitted directly.
EhterSir Matthew Mite, preceded ly four Blacks;
firft Black bearing a large book \ Jecond, a gresn
chamber-pot -, ibird,fome lava from the mountain
Vefuvius ; fourth, a box. Sir Matthew takes his
feat ; Secretary receives tb^jjrji- prefect f and re ads
the label.
Sec. " Purchafed of the Abbe Montini at
Cf Naples for five hundred pounds, an illegible;
cc manufcript in Latin, containing the twelve
ff books of Livy, fuppofed to be loft."
$t THE NABOB.
Mite. This invaluable treafure was very near
falling into the hands of the Pope, who defigned
to depofit it in the Vatican Library, and I re-
feued it from idolatrous hands;
i Ant. A pious, learned^ and laudable pur*
Chafe !
Sec. [receives the fecond prefent, and reads the
label.] " A farcophagus, or Roman urn, dug
" from the temple of Concord."
Mite. Suppofed to have held the duft of
Marc-Antony's coachman.
See. [receives the third prefent, and reads.~\ " A.
11 large piece of the lava, thrown from theVefuvian
*' volcano at the laft great eruption."
Mite. By a chyfnical analyfis, it will be eafy
to difcover the conftituent parts of this rriafs ;
which, by properly preparing it, will mdke ic na
difficult tafk to propagate burning mountains in
England, if encouraged by premiums.
d Ant. Which it will, ho doubt !
faitt. Gentlemen ! Not contented with col-
lecting, for the ufe of my country, thefe inefti-
inable relics, with a large catalogue of petri-
factions, bones, beetles, and butterflies, con-
tained in that box, [pointing to the prcfent borne
by the fourth Black,] I have liktwife laboured for
the advancement of national knowledge : For
which end, permit me to clear up fome doubts
relative to a material and intercfling point in the
Englifli
THE NABOB. $5
pnglifh hiftory . Let others toil to illumine the dark
annals of Greece, or of RQIKC ; my fearchcs ar
facred only to the fervice pf Britain |
The point I mean to clear up, is an error crept
into the life of that illuftrious magiftrate, the
great Whittington, and his no-lefs-eminent Cat ;
And in this difquifuion four material points are
in queftion.
jft. Did Whittington ever exift ?
2d. Was Whittington Lord-Mayor of Lon-
don ?
3d. Was he really poflcfied of a Cat ?
Jj-th. Was that Cat the fource of his wealth ?
That Whittington lived, no doubt can be
made ; that he was Lord-Mayor of London, is
equally true; but as to his Car, that, gentle-
men, is the gordian knot to untie. And here.,
gentlemen, be it permitted me to define what a
Cat is. A Cat is a domeftic, whifkered, four-
|boted animal, whofe employment is catching
of mice ; but let Pufs have been ever fo fubtle,
Jet Pufs have, been ever fo fuccefsful, to what
could Pufs's captures amount ? no tanner ca,n
curry the ikin of a moule, no family make a
ineal of the meat; confequenrly, no Cat could
give Whittington his wealth. From whence
then does this error proceed ? be that my care
to point out !
The commerce this worthy merchant carried
$6 THE N A B O B.
on, was chiefly confined to our coafts j for
this purpofe, he conftrncted a veflel, which, from
its agility and lightnefs, he aptly chriftened a
Cat. Nay, to this our day, gentlemen, all our
coals from ^ewcaftle are imported in nothing
but Cats. From thence it appears, that it was
not the whifkered, four- footed, moufe-killingCar,
that was the fource of the magiftrate's wealth,
but the coafting, failing, coal-carrying Cat; that,
gentlemen, was Whittington's Cat.
1 Ant. What a fund of learning!
2 Ant. Amazing acutenefs of erudition !
i Ant. Let this difcovery be made public,
di redly.
2, Ant. And the author mentioned with ho-
nour.
1 Ant, I make no doubt but the city of Lon-
don will defire him to fit for his picture, or femj
him his freedom in a fifty -pound box.
2 Ant. The honour done their firft magiflrate
richly deferves it.
3 Ant. Break we up this afTembly, with a loud
declaration, that Sir Matthew Mite is equally
Jkillcd in arts as well as in arms.
2 Ant. < Ta;n Mercurio quam Marti. [Exe. Ant.
Mite. Having thus dilcharged my debt to the
public, I muit attend to my private affairs. Will
Rapine, my attorney, attend as I bid him ?
Strv*
THE N A B O B. 57
Serv. He will be punctual, your honour.
Mite. Then drive to Hanover-Square.
Putty [without]. I will come in}
Enter Servant.
Serv. There's a little fliabby fellow without,
that infifts on feeing your honour.
Mite. Why, who and what can he be ?
Serv. He calls himfelf Putty, and fays he went
to fchool with your honour.
Serv. \witbin.~] His honour don't know you !
Putty. I will come in! Not know me, you
oaf? what fnouldail him ? Why, I tell you we
were bred up together from boys. Stand by, or
I'll
Enter Putty.
Hey ! yes, it is no, it a'n't yes, it is Mat-
thew Mite. Lord love your queer face ! what
a figure you cut! how you are altered-! well,
had I met with you by chance, I don't think
I mould ever have known you. I have had a
deuced deal of work to get at you.
Mite. This is a lucky encounter !
Putty. There is a little fat fellow, that opens
the door at your houfe, was as pert as a pren-
tice juft outofhis time: He would not givemethe
leaft inkling about you ; and I mould have re-
I turned
58 THE NABOB.
turned to Shoreditch as wife as I came, if fotr.s
folks who are gazing at the fine gilt coach in
the ftre^t, hadn't told me 'twas yours. Well,
Mafter Mite, things are mainly changed fince we
were boys at the Blue-Coat : Who could have
thought that you would have got fo up in the
world? for you know you were reckoned a dull
one at fchool.
Serv. Friend, do you know who you talk to ?
Putty. Yes, friend, much better than you do.
I am told he is become a Knight, and a Nabob ;
and what of all that? For your Nabobs, they
are but a kind of outlandifli creatures, that
won't pafs current with us ; and as to knights,
we have a few of them in the city, whom I dare
fpeak to without doffing my hat. So, Mr. Scrape-
trencher, let's have no more of your jaw ! I
fay, Mat, doefn't remember one Eafter-Tuefday,
how you tipt the barrow-woman into Fleet-
Ditch, as we were going about with the hymns ?
Mile. An anecdote that does me infinite ho-
nour !
Putty. How all the folks laughed to fee how
bolt upright flie ftood on her head in the mud !
ha! ha! ha! And one fifth of November, I
fhall never forget ! how you frightened a preach-
ing method! ft taylor, by throwing a cracker into
.the pulpit.
Mite.
T HE N. A B O B. 59
Mite. Another pretty exploit !
Putty. At every bounce, how poor Stitch ca-
pered andjumped ! Ah ! many's the merry freak
we have had ! for this I mud fay, though Mat
was but bad at his book, for mifchiefful mat-
ters there wafn'r a more ingenous, cuterer lad in.
the fchool.
Mite. Yes ; I have got a fine reputation, I fee [
Putty. Well, but Mat! what, be'fl dumb?
why doefn't fpeak to a fchool-fdlow ?
Mite. That at prefent is more than I'll own.
I fancy, Mr. A a--a, you have made fomer
mi (lake.
putty. Some miftake ?
Mile. I don't recollect that I ever had the ho-
nour to know you.
Puffy. What, don't you remember Phil Putty ?'
Mite. No.
Putty. That was prentice to Matter Gibfon,
the glazier in Shoreditch ?
Mite. No.
Putty. That at the Blue-Coat-Hofpital has
often favecl your bacon by owning your pranks ?
Mite. No.
Putty. No! What, then, mayhap you ben't
Mat Mite, fon of old John and Margery Mite,
at the Sow and Saufage in St. Mary Axe, that
took the tarts from the man in Pye-corner, and
1 2 was
Co THE NABOB.
was fent beyond fea, for fear worfe Ihould come
on it ?
Mite. You fee, Mr. Putty, the glazier, if that
is your r.am? a,nd profeflion, you are entirely out
in this matter; fo you need not repeat your vi-
iits to me. [Exit,
Putty. Now here's a pretty purfe-proud fon
of a who, forfooth, becaufe he is grown
great by robbing the heathens, won't own an
old friend and acquaintance, and one too of the
livery befide ! Dammee, the great Turk himfelf
need not be afhamed to (hake hands with a citu
zen ! "Mr. Putty the glazier !" well, what a
pox am I the better for you ? I'll be fworn our
company has made more money by a finglc
election at Brentford, than by all his exploits
put together. [Exit.
Sir John Oldhara's bottfe.
Enter Mr. Thomas Qldham^ followed ly a Servant.
Thomas. Sir Matthew Mite is not come ?
Serv. No, Sir.
Thomas. Is Tom here ?
Serv. Mr. Oldham is, I believe, with Mifs
in the parlour.
Thomas. Let him know I would fee him.
[Exit Ssrv.'] Poor boy ! Nay, I fmcerely grieve
for them both ! this dilappointment, like an
untimely
THE NABOB. 6t
untimely froft, will hang heavy on 1 their tender
years : To conquer the firft and fineft feelings;
of nature is an arduous talk!
Enter Young Oldham.
So, Tom ! flill attached to this fpot, I perceive ?
T. Old. Sir, I arrived but the inftant before
yon.
Thomas. Nay, child, I don't blame you. You
are no ftranger to the almoft-invincible bars that
oppofe your views on my niece; it would be
therefore prudent, inflead of indulging, to wean
yourfelf by degrees.
T. Old. Are there no hopes, then, Sir, of
fubduing my aunt ?
Thomas. I fee none : Nay, perhaps, as mat-
ters now fland, a compliance may be out of her
power.
T. Old. How is that poffible, Sir ? out of her
power ?
Thomas. I won't anticipate: Misfortunes come
too foon of themfelves ; a fhort time will explain
what I mean.
T. Old. You alarm me ! Would you conde-
fcend to inftrud me, I hope, Sir, I fhall have
difcretion enough
Thomas. It would anfwer no end. I would
have you both prepare for the worft : See your
coufin
62 THE NABOB.
coufm again ; and remember, this, perhaps,
may be the laft time of your meeting.
T. Old. The laft of our -
Thomas. But Sophy is here. I muft go in to
Sir John. [Oldhatn bows low to Scpby and retires.
Sophy.
Sophy. Sir ! What can be the meaning of this ?
My uncle Oldham avoids me ! you feem mocked \
no additional misfortune, I hope ?
T' Old. My father has threatened me, in
obfcure terms, I confefs, with the wbrft that
can happen.
Sophy. How !
T. Old. The total, nay, perhaps, immediate
lots of my Sophy.
Sophy. From what caufe ?
T. Old. That in tendernefs he chofe to con-*
ceal.
Scpby. But why make it a myftery ? have you
no guefs ?
T. Old. Not the moft diftant conception. My
lady's diQike would hardly prompt her to fuch
violent meafures. I can't comprehend how this
can poffibly be-, but yet my father has too, firm,
too manly a mind, to encourage or harbour vain
fears.
Sopby. Here they come. I luppofe the riddle
will loon be explained.
Enttr
THE NABOB.
Enter Sir John, Lady, and Thomas Oldham,
L. Old. But what motive could he have for
demanding this whimfical interview ? he could
not doubt your credentials, or think his pre-
fence could be grateful to us.
Thomas. I have delivered my meflage.
L. Old. Perhaps he depends on his rhetorical
powers : I hear he has a good opinion of them.
Stay, Sophy ! Sir Matthew Mite, diftrufling
the meflage we begged your uncle to carry, de-
fires to have it confirmed by ourfelves : I fancy,
child, you will do yourfelf no violence in re-
jecting this lover. He is an amiable fwain, I
confefs !
Sophy. I fhall be always happy in obeying your
lady (hip's orders.
L. Old. Are you fure of that, Sophy ? a time
may foon come for the trial.
Sir John. Well, in the main, I am glad of this
meeting ; it will not only put a final end to this
buiinefs, but give us an opportunity of difcufllng
other matters, my dear.
L. Old. Is that your opinion, Sir John ? I
fancy be will not be very fond of prolonging
his vifit.
Enter Servant.
Serv. Sir Matthew Mite !
L. Old.
4 THE NABOB.
L. Old. Shew him in ! Now, Sir John, be
on your guard ; fnpport this fcene with a dignity
chat becomes one of your birth and
Sir John. Never fear my dignity 1 , love. I
warrant you I'll give him as good as he brings.
Enter Sir Matthew Mite.
Mite. I find the whole tribe is convened. I
hope I am not an intruder ^ but I confels the
extraordinary anfwer I received from the mouth
of this worthy citizen, to a meffage conveyed by
my fecretary, induced me to queftion its au-
thenticity, unlefs confirmed by yourfelves.
L. Old. And why mould you think our reply
ib very extraordinary ?
Mite. You muft give me leave to fmile at that
queftion.
L. Old. A very decifive anfwer, I own !
Mite. You are, Lady Old ham, a woman of
the world, and fuppofed not to be wanting in fenfe.
L. Old. Which this conduct of mine inclines
you to doubt ?
Mite. Why, to be plain, my condition and
your own fituation confidered, prudence might
have dictated a different reply.
L. Old.. And yet, Sir Matthew, upon the ma-
tureft deliberation, all the parties, you fee, perfift
in giving no other.
flfitt.
THE NABOB. 65
Mite, Is it fo ? You will permit me, Lady
Oldham, to defire one of thofe reafchs which
influenced this auguftafiembly upon t'heoccafion ?
L. Old. They will> I dare fey, appear but
trifling to you.
Mite. Let us have thetrij however.
L. Old. Firft, we think it right to have a little
regard to her happinefs, as ihe is indebted for her
exiftence to us.
Mite. Which you think fhe rifcjues in a union
with me ? [Lady Oldham bows."] And why fo ?
I have the means to procure her, madam, thofe
enjoyments with which your fex is chieflydelighted.
L. Old. You will, Sir Matthew, pardon my
weaknefs ; but I would much rather fee my child
with a competence, nay, even reduced to an in-
digent ftate> than voluptuoufly rioting in plea-
fures that derive their fource from the ruin of
others.
Mite. Ruin ! what, you, I find, adopt the po-
pular prejudice, and conclude that every man
that is rich is a villain ?
L. Old. I only echo the voice of the public*
Befides, I would wifh my daughter a more folid
eftablifhment : The pofiefllons afifing from plun-
der very rarely are permanent ; we every day fee
what has been treacherouQy and rapacioufly
gained, as profufely and full as rapidly fquandered,
JC Miff.
66 THENABOB.
Mite. I am forry, madam, to fee one of your
fafhion, concur in the common cry of the times -,
but fuch is the gratitude of this country to thofe
who have given it. dominion and wealth.
'Thomas. I could wifli even that fact was well
founded, Sir Matthew. Your riches (which per-
haps too are only ideal) by introducing a general
fpirit of diflipation, have extinguimed labour and
induftry, the flow, but fure fource of national
wealth.
Mite. To thefe refinements T have no time to
reply. By one of your ladyfhip's hints I mall
profit at leaft : I mall be a little more careful
of the plunder I have made. Sir John Oldham,
you recollect a fmall fum borrowed by you ?
Sir John. I do.
Mite. The obligations for which are in my
pOiTcffion at prefcnt.
Sir John. I underftand as much by your letter.
Mite. As I find there is an end of our treaty,
it would be right, I think, to difcharge them
directly.
Sir Jobn. I can't fay that is quite fo convenient;
btrlides, I underftood the party was to wait till
the time that Jack comes of age.
Mite. I am told the law does not underftand
what is not clearly exprefled. Bcfides,the probable
event of your death, or the young gentleman's
fhynefs
THE NABOB. 67
fliynefs to fulfil the agreement, are enough to put
a man on his guard.
'Thomas. Now comes on the dorm.
Mite. And, that my prudence might not fuffer
in that lady's opinion, I have taken fome pre-
cautions which my attorney will more clearly
unfold. Mr. Rapine !
Enter Rapine.
You will explain this affair to Sir John : I am a
military man, and quite a ftranger to your legal
manoeuvres.
Rap. By command of my client, Sir Matthew,
I have iflued here a couple of writs.
L. Old. Sir John !
Sir John. What?
Rap. By one of which, plaintiff pQilHTes the
perfon, by t'other goods and chattels, of Sir John
the defendant.
Mite. A definition very clear and concife !
L. Old. Goods, Sir ? what, mull I be Burned
out of my ho ufe ?
Rap. No, madam ; you may fUy here till we
fell, which perhaps mayn't happen thefc two days.
We muft, indeed, leave a few of our people, jufl;
to take care that there is nothing embezzled.
L. Old, A (hort refpite, indeed ! For a little
K 2
0* THE NABOB.
time, I dare fay, my brother Oldham will afford
us protection. Come, Sir John, nor let us in-
dulge that monfter's malice with a longer fight
of our mifery.
Rap, You, madam, are a wife, and may go
whtve you pl'ea'fc ; but as to Sir John -
Z. Old. Well !
Rap. He muft not ftir : We are anfwerable
for the poffcfTjon of him.
L. Old. "Of him ? a prifoner ? then indeed is
our ruin complete !
Sophy. Oh, uncle!' You have been pleafed,
Si,-, ro'cxpreis an affection for me ; Is it poffible,
Sir, you can be fo crue:, ib unkind to my
parents -
. They are unkind to themfclves.
'. Let me plead for mercy! iufpend but
a Hale ! My uncle, you, Sir, are wealthy tool-
Indeed we arc honeft ! you will not run the leaft
riique.
iere is a condition, Mifs, in which you
have - ' I to command.
Mite, It is ;n your power, and that of your pa-
rents, tc'. '. ftablifh one common interefl amonglt us.
Z,- Ola. Never! after rejecting, with the con-
tempt they dcierved, the firft arrogant offers you
tViade,do you fuppoie thistreih infult will gain us i 1
THE NABOB. 69
Mite. I am anfwered. I prefume, Mr. Rapine,
there is no longer occafion for me ?
Sophy. Stop, Sir ! Mr. Oldham teaches me
what I fhould do. Can I fee their diftrefs ?
Heaven knows with what eagernefs I would facri-
fice my own peace, my own happinefs, to procure
them relief ! [Kneejls to Sir Matthew.
Thomas. Rife, niece ! nor hope to foften that
bread, already made too callous by crimes ! I have
longfeen, Sir, what your malice intended, and pre-
pared myfe|f to baffle its purpofe. I am inilrucled,
Sir, in the amount of this man's 4emands on my
brother : You will there find a fnm more than
fufficient to pay it. And now, my dear filter, I
hope you will pleafe to allow a citizen may be
ufeful fometimes.
Mite. Mr. Rapine, is this manoeuvre according
to law ?
Rap. The law, Sir Matthew, always fleeps
when fatisfaction is made.
Mile. Does it ? Our practice is different in the
Mayor's Court at Calcutta. I mall now make
my bow ; and leave this family, whom I wifned
to make happy in fpite of themfelves, foon to
regret the fatal lofs fuftained by their obftinate
folly.
Thomas. Nor can it be long, before the wifdbin
of their choice will appear j as by partaking of
76 THE NABOB.
the fpoil, they might have been involved in that
vengeance, which foon or late can't fail to fall on
the head of the author : And, Sir, notwithftanding
your feeming fecurity, perhaps the hour of re-
tribution is near !
Mite. You muft, Matter Oldham, give me leave
to laugh at your prophetic effufion. This is not
Sparta, nor are thefe the chafte times of the Roman
republic : Now-a-days, riches poffefs at lean:
one magical power, that, being rightly difpenfed,
they clofely conceal the Iburce from whence they
proceeded : That wifdom, I hope never to want.
I am the obfequious fervant of this refpectable
family ! Adieu ! Come along, Rapine !
[Ex if with Rapine.
L. Old. Brother, what words can I ufe, or how
can we thank you'as we ought? Sir John! Sophy!
Thomas. I am doubly paid, Lady Oldham, in
fupplying the wants of my friends, and defeating
the defigns of a villain. As to the mere money,
we citizens indeed are odd kind of folks, and
always expect good fecurity for what we advance.
L.Old. Sir John's perfon, his fortune, every
Thomas. Nay, nay, nay, upon this occafion we
will not be troubled with land : If you, filter,
will place as a pledge my fair coufm in the hands
of my fon
. Old. I freely relign her difpofal to you.
THE NABOB. 71
Sir John. And I.
Tbcmas. Then be happy, my children ! And
as to my young couiins within, I hope we fhall
be able to fettle them without Sir tylatthew's
afiiftance : For, however praifeworthy the fpirit
of adventure may be, whoever keeps his pofl^
and does his duty at home, will be found to ren-
der his country beft fervice at laft ! [Exeunt.
FINIS.
Juft PublilW,
the COMEDIES of
The Cozener s^
(Containing Two ORIGINAL SCENES, not
inferted in the fpurious Impreflions)
The Maid of
AND
The Devil Upon Two Sticks.
All written by the fame Author,
And publifhed by the fame Editor*
And in a few Days will be Publifhed,
The Tailors-^
A TRAGEDY for WARM WEATHER.
As it is Performed at the Theatre-Pioyal, Haymarket,
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA, LOS ANGELES
I
University of California
SOUTHERN REGIONAL LIBRARY FACILITY
Return this material to the library
from which it was borrowed.
APR 15 1991
1- 4 1991'
WOCTlgj!
XI
OPT r
i i
DUE2WKSR-.
UCLA YRMILL
UNIX
rersity of (
touthern Re
Library Fa