M1S8 PARDOE'S COMPLETE WORKS COMPRISING THE CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. THE JEALOUS WIFE. THE RIVAL BEAUTIES. THE WIFE'S TRIALS. THE ROMANCE OF THE HAREM. BY MISS JULIA PARDOE. COMPLETE IN ONE VOLUME. ^•^ OF THE v^ [U1II7BESIT7] J) I) tltt 5 c TpTTi a : T. B. PETERSON AND BROTHERS, 306 CHESTNUT STREET, ^8 5*1^ PREFACE. Thb only explanation required by the following pages is, perhaps, a brief account of the manner in which they came into my possession. Driven, for change of air, into a distant county, after a long and severe illness, I accepted the hospitality of a friend liv- ing in one of those beautiful villages which are to be found in no other country than our own. The castellated cottage of my hostess, half-smothered in creeping roses, white jasmine, and passion-flowers, stood midway upon a gentle slope which formed the southward boundary of the village-green : the gray old church, overtopped by three venerable yews, and surrounded by its humble gravestones, joined the shrubberies on the east ; snug cottages, with each its fenced-in garden, and its group of fruit-trees, were scattered along the base of a low range of hills, clothed with beeches ; and, at an easy walk from the hamlet, rose a stately mansion, with an extensive park, stocked with dcf r, and rich in timber. This noble property was inhabited by a widow lady, whose extraordinary matron-beauty startled me when I saw her, for the first time, at the village- church ; and induced inquiries on my part, to which the replies only served to increase my curiosity. I was told that she was immensely rich, profusely and un- weariedly charitable, but that a dark shadow hung over her former life, by which, even now, her mood and manner were occasionally influenced. Her circle was limited, for she would not tolerate mere acquaintance ; and some of the families of the neighborhood shrank from decided friendship with an individual who might compromise them, although her hair had become gray, and that her lofty figure was somewhat bowed beneath the pressure of time. From her own hand I received this written record of the past, only a week or two befoxe her death ; and I give it (with her permission) to the world, in all confidence that such a transcript of the real struggles of a woman's mind, and of the actual trials of a woman's life, will present more lasting and wholesome interest than the romaniia creations of fiction, or the poetical miseries of a merely fertile fancy. March, 184&. CONFESSIONS OP A PRETTY WOMAN. CHAPTER I. 1 DO not know why I am about lo write my own memoirs. It is said that a bhnd man should not judge of colors, but I am by no means inclined to submit to the truth of the sentiment. Why should not a ci-devant beauty, reduced to a tour de tele and metallic teeth, be able to lay hare the intricate recesses of a pretty woman's heart, because that woman may chance to have been herself! Perhaps it is merely to prove the invalidity of the proverb that I have conceived the project of recording nay own confessions ; and it is very possible that I may, in this, be about as wise as the boy who thrust bis hand into a wasp's nest, to se- cure the honey before any one else could appro- priate the prize ; but 1 have at least tile conso- lation of feeling that I can only be canvassed and condenmed in effigy, for I have far too much respect for the tranquillity of my old age to appear on tlie title-page of a book ; and the success of my afternoon nap, or my evening rubber, will consequently run no risk of being periled by the comments and criticism of the public ; or the guesses and gossipry of my own immediate circle, who will at once find a reply to their suspicions when they look me in the face. Heroes, monarchs, and statesmen (I place the heroes in advance advisedly) have bards and historians to sing and say all their great deeds ; therefore, it is truly an excess of self-immola- tion when they meddle with the work, and rub in the shadows of the picture as a pastime ; and an equal fully when they take pen in hand, for the purpose of broadening th-e lights. In the first case, all the world laugh at tliem as fools, for having betrayed their own poor and petty weaknesses; while in the second it is still worse, inasmuch as no one believes one sylla- ble of the self-laudatory labor, which to all, save the workman, appears to be a mere web of egotism and fatuity. This, however, is far from being the case with that potent and influ- ential portion of the creation entitled pretty women. Where lives the man who could un- dertake the biography of one of these 1 He can talk of well-Cougbt battles, intriguing cab- inets, court-gossip, or party measures ; but what knows he about flirtations, or palpitations, or heart-economy! How can he undertake to raise one veil after another, each as mysterious as that of Vesta, so as to lay bare the myriad mysteries of a woman's spirit 1 Pooh ! pooh ! Man, all self-sufficient as he es- teems himself, would deserve the fate of the I detected school-boy, did he even attempt so im- possible a feat. I can give another reason, also, for thus vol- unteering a record of the past in its relation to myself The world has run wild, of late years, upon biographies and auto-biographies. Every class of society has contributed its quota to satisfy the curiosity of "a discerning public;" and each succeeding triplicate of volumes has been received with welcome. From the quaint sketching of dear old Pepys, and the sonorous periods of stately Clarendon, to the "dramatic twaddle" of Miss Burney, and the professional sallies and struggles of defunct players, nothing appears to have come amiss ; and this is just as it should be. " The proper study of mankind is man ;" and it acquires an additional zest when we have reason to apprehend (as must frequently be the case) that we were never intended to have the opportunity of doing it at all. How many "sayings and doings," meant for the se- clusion of liome ; how many opinions and sen- timents, uttered only for the privacy of the family circle ; how many letters, scratched of! a tutto volo da penna, have been put to press, injurious to the memory of the dead, and painful to the feelings of the living ! For my own part, whenever I meet with an advertised announcement of the forthcoming " biography" or " memoirs" of some deceased celebrity, whether noble, political, literary, fash- ionable, or dramatic, I am invariably hst in as- I tonishment at the reckless courage of the indi- ! vidual who left such a task of delicacy and diffi- I culty to be performed by others ; when, at the j expense of a little labor, he could have accoiin- j plished it himself, adducing his own motives, and assigning his own reasons, for a thousand ac tions which must inevitably suffer from miscon- struction. ! If then such false readings may and must be the result of the interference of a second person in the written lives of statesmen, poets, and players, what had / to expect, if I left mj motives, reasons, actions, and impulses, to he decided upon by others 1 Truly, a pretty woman resolved (as I am) to be frank, and truthful, I and honest, has more than sufficient cause to I apprehend a host of evil judgments, not only from one sex, but from both ; and can, there- fore, ill afford to leave herself without that best of all advocacy — her own. An acknovvledgefi' beauty, like the turquoise-flowering flax, ia marked, even from the first years of her bloom- ing girlhood, for future appreciation : the germ is the index of the maturity ; but she must bo CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. weil immersed in the stuj.'nant waters of envy | and maliciousness, and well beaten by tbe i cudgels of jealousy and miscon&truclioii, be- fore she is deemed fitted for the uses of the ' world ; and the parallel holds good to t^ie last ; for neither the beauty nor the flax is estimated at its real value, until all that charmed the eye has been destroyed, and that nothing is left but the. good touuh fibre which may render their available qualities serviceable to others. Let no one imagine, however, that I deem it expedient to offer an apology for these my coti- fessions. Far from it. I consider that I am doing the world a service by their transcription. My own sex may learn better to analyze their feelings and actions by the perusal, and the other to be less ready to misjudge both. Of this I am well assured, that men, in the aggregate, can form no just or correct idea of the trials and struggles of a woman's life. It is an admitted conventionalism, that the world was made (or man, and home for woman. Be it sw. on the broad basis upon which it should be understood. Idiiiients in London. Unlike such lMls^lTes in general, which are commonly "bought off" by a family dinner, »»r •• thrown off" with an apology, the docu- ment in question procured for him a hish stooi in the oflice of the Messieurs Ostialdiston, and a daily seat at their table, while his own good and useful qualities did the rest. There was, I believe, some distant relation- ship between the principals and their young clerk, wliicb doubtless cemented the connec- tion ; but, be that as it may, thus much is certain, that my father had not been more than five years in their counting-house, when he was intrusted with a mission of great importance to the West-Indies; of which he acquitted him- self so skilfully, that the brothers, on his return, felt that they could offer to him no recompense more adequate than a share in their gigantic establishment. They were no longer young men : began to prefer port wine to burgundy, and a comfortable nap in an easy chair aftei dinner, to a renewal of business ; and thus they found it pleasant and profitable to transfer the overplus of their occupation to their young, and active, and intelligent partner. My father made three voyages to the islands before the death of the younger Mr. Osbaldis- ton ; and became an experienced man of busi- ness at an age when most merchants are merely in their novitiate. Advancing years, and the loss of his only brother and near relative, and moreover his junior, began to produce their effect upon the head of the firm ; who, ere long, abandoned all the interests of the house to my father, and contented himself with sinning his name to transfer-deeds and bank-checks, loun- ging away his mornings in the warehouses, and giving himself up to the care of his cook and valet for the remainder of the day. Nor had the old gentleman ever reason to repent his confidence ; for when he was. in his turn, gathered to his fathers, he died calmly, in the comfortable conviction that all his depend- ents could live respectably thereafter on their several legacies, without seeking a new and strange servitude ; and that my father was not only the proprietor of a magnificent business, but that his name was " good " for some £80,000 at his banker's. Happy testator ! and still happier legatee ! My father was only two-and-thirty years of age when he was thus cast upon the world ; but, unlike many other young men, he did not relax an effort in the pleasant occupation of money- making. Let it not be supposed, however, that his per.-olOiS>3 yJl A litEl"! i WOMAN. Once or twice his lordship of Glenfiilan ex- of his own society, and glad of any incideHl eeeded a little at table upon the road ; but that which promised a nnomentary amnsement. was the fault of my father's hospitality, and the No better prelude to rapid acquaintanceship hyper-zeal of Ins attendants ; and the noble could have been suggested by the most prac- earl had a gout-mixture in the carriage-pocket ticed social tactician. Lord Glenfiilan was drug- near his hand, which, diluted in a little pale ging, gorging, and frightening hiriiself into his brandy, generally succeeded in procuring him grave, with all possible expedition ; and there an hour's sleep; so that, upon the whole, he he sat, with his foot swathed in flannels, a Glen- might have been worse off on the rugged high- garry cap upon his gray head, a tartan waist- ways of -a belle France ; and he admtlted the coat covering his acr.ple chest, and a flowered fact with a graceful frankness which could not dressing-gown en'^.vjloping his tall and bony but convince my father of the sinceriiy of his figure ; with an English journal a fortnight old assertion. (lor in those days Galignani was not, and By the by, Lord Glenfiilan, as I should have L'Echo du Continent lay hushed in chaos), en- explamed, had visited the French capital lor i deavoring to read, for the twentieth time, the the purpose of consulting a celebrated gout-doc- | speech of one of his political opponents, most tor of that day ; from whose skill he had been jprovokingly broken up by "hear! hear!" and led to expect that he should obtain both speedy i " cheers from all parts of the house." and permanent relief. But it is certain that if J once heard it declared by a gallant officer, his counselors had themselves really derived I now >n his grave, that the greatest misery of any benefit from the Gallic Galen in a similar human life was to hall with a party of men in extremity, they had been of a different order of a country village, and to remain throughout the men from the earl, who backed up all the reine- < day in its sohiary inn, with, for all companion- dies of his medical adviser, with dinners served ship, an old Army List, in which your own par- ai Les Fieres Fiuccngaux, and burgundy from ticuiar regiment was torn out. I am tempted, Jusim. however, to believe that I should have pre- This state of things, or rather this system of ferred even that dilemma to the earls. Be it curative ethics, could not, of course, last lung, as it may, he averred that this unlucky paper wittioul convincing his most giislaiive lordship was his only resource between his paroxysms that he was rather becoming worse than better. ; of pain, which, as he was a fabid politician, il That It was reruler pour mienx sanfer, he was ' had probably assisted to multiply, not altogether clear ; and in this dilemma, with | No wonder that my father soon ceased to be very real and natural reluctance to tear him- considered as a stranger, and that his daily ad- self from the flesh-pots of Egypt, and a still vent in the sick room was hailed with delight by more invincible ohjectitin to be conveyed home the querulous invalid. Ere long. Lord Glenfiilan in a leaden receptacle, .six feet by two, he had extorted a promise from his friend not to seized with avidity the hope held out to him of abandon him during his illness , and soon after- better success With an Italian empiric eslab- wards it was agreed that they should make the lished at .Marseilles; and forthwith departed homeward journey together ; and this was how for the fair city of the south. i ii came to pass that the earl and my father Alas for tlie goui-iormented earl ! To an in- | arrived at Calais in company, dividual of hi.o tendencies, this was fairly a case of cadcr dalta padclla nclla brace ; for at Marseilles, in addition to the sublime cuisine of Paris, he found all the luxuries of the East; CHAPTER all the Iruiis of the earth; and all the fish of| the sea. .My Lord Glenfiilan bad such a fit of | It has just struck me that I ought to give the gout ai Ins hotel in the Rue de Rome, eight some idea of the personal appearance of my days after his arrival n the paradise of gastion- father. I remember him well, for I loved him omers, that he alforded a noble opportunity for very dearly ; and my memory supplies me with the display of skill possessed by II Signor Eer- the picture of a tall, finely made, and aristocrat- dinando della Placida— the very name of the ic-looking man, with large gray eyes, a hand- man would have seemed to me to he either an some but somewhat too prominent nose, haii insult or an epigram — and began to have se- which had once been almost black, magnificent nous thoughts ot making his w ill. ! teeth, and a smile so beautiful that at times I It was at this period that my father returned still see it in my dreams. His extreme nicety from Malta; and, having heard that he was and neatness might have passed into a proverb ; under the same root with a sick countryman, , but he was no whit a prig ; and he had so thor- veiy inellicienily attended, and in the hands of oughly divested himself of all the formalities an Ignorant pretender, who was dc moilic with and technicalities of his early pursuits, and fall- the cook in winding up what had been an affair en back so easily and so naturally upon the olinany years' standing, in a very complete and proud old blood which filled his veins, that I concise manner ; he sent m his card to his feel convinced, had he ever been raised to noble neighbor, and begged permission to wait j the peerage, no one could have considered him upon him. | misplaced. The gouty lord desired no better, for he had al- I have a miniature lying beside me now, how- ready heard from his valet of the arrival of a ' ever, which has preserved a far more flattering mttord, the fracas of whose return to Ins old portrait of my father than even my loving mem- apartments had reached even to the sick cham- ory. It was taken the year of his marriage, as ber; had received a detailed account of the ^ a bridal-gilt to my mother; and, judging from nature and number of his attendants, equipages, I the ivory counterfeit, he must at that period horses, am* packages ; and was, moreover, tire; lavc been supremely handsome. CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. Moreover, most courteous reader, he was my father ! After a few months spent in London, which were fuliy occupied by the arrangement of his monetary affairs, the purchase of an eligible residence, and daily practice at a shooting-gal- lery to fit him for his coming campaign in Scot- land, my father began seriously to meditate a descent on Glenfillan. The earl had, at times, been grandiloquent on the subiect of his pater- nal estate; and his visitor consequently left town with very magnificent ideas of the local- ity which he was about temporarily to inhabit. There was no steam at this time, so that the journey was rather a long one ; but my father was glad of the opportunity of seeing Edin- burgh, and would not allow himself to consider it tedious. He spent a week in Auld Reekie, and then started for the Highlands. He saw all the "lions" (as per guide-book) before his depart- nre ; but I am afraid that he was deficient in historical sentiment, if not in morals ; for he took no interest in Holyrood, simply because he had not made up his mind whether Mary were a martyr or a culprit, and rather inclined to the latter opinion. Now, if my father carried one particular prejudice to excess, it was against coquetry and coquets ; therefore it requires no explanation that the very idea of conjugal infi- dehty was to him hateful beyond the power of words. He was the very aftertype of Caesar. This, par parcnthcse. When he advanced beyond Edinburgh, the scene changed. Glenfillan lay, like a lion's lair, in the very centre of the Highlands, and the roads were anything but macadamized. All around him was wild and grand, but the air was hun- gry ; and as he had left all his establishment in town, save his body-servant and a couple of grooms, he fared, as he traveled, somewhat roughly. He had no taste for mountain-dew ; not a soul to speak to except his man, who be- gan to wax slightly sulky, as he left, according to his own opinion, all civilization and comfort behind him ; and, altogether, his progress was as dreary as it was slow. At length, however, they reached a hamlet with an unpronounceable name, where they found half a dozen of the earl's retainers, who had already been waiting there several days, with as many wild-looking, wiry, ungroomed mountain ponies, to serve as guides to the cas- tle, and to help the -Sassenach gentlemen over sundry " bad bits" which they had to traverse on their way. Only one among them could make himself understood, and they were all as savage-looking as a party of bandits ; but nev- ertheless they were a relief to the monotony of his journey, and to the eye of an artist would have been in admirable "keeping" with the scene. They were, moreover, active, strong, and willing ; and proved eminently useful to the unaccustomed and helpless travelers. From the crest of a mountain which it had ta4e's forefathers and foremolhers iniist have been of unconscionably broad dimensions , the window, deeply pierced into the miis^ive wall, was of a totally different character, for it was narrow to an inconvenient degree ; hut, en revanche, it reached from the , ceiling nearly to the floor, while its arch was filled with stained glass to the depth of half a' dozen of the n involved treacliery to Lady Flora. My \ tiioilier was well awnre, lieiore the Englishman j had passed a week in the casiie, that her father's ' P'.oject must I'atl. He was not one of those inanageahlo and will-less heinu:s, who are mere \ numan thistle-down, sa:liM<,', wahoui reluctance, along any wmd wlneh may chance to blow ; and , still less did I.e resemble the mean-spirited para- sites who feci SPfMrity only in the stability of the object to which I hey cling. She had long been 1 convinced that even had there existed no Lady Madelaine GhnliUan, there would assuredly never have been a Lady Flora Tihh'n. Mt/ f'itlier and her sister were, as she at once dis- covered, the very antipodes of each olh?r ; they were oil and water — snow and fire — romance and reality — sentimeni and maiter-of-fact — the two e.Kiremities of a straight line, never destined by any possibiliiy to ciuiie together; and, such being the case, her (tonscience was at ease as regarded her d^niy to her family, while she felt no inclinatKin lo Ibiego the opportunity of re- lieving her own cnmu. If I go on ampliiyiiig iny explanation so large- ly, however, i shall never terminate tlie tetc-a- ' f&te upon which I have ventured lo intrude ; and ! I will, therelbre, resume it with the second ar- j rival of my fiither beside the lounging-chair. Pygmalion had at least awakened the statue into life, and he was naturally anxious to ascer- tain in how lar his skill would turn to his own advantage. " Do ytm indeed believe, Lady Madelaine," he asked, in the same suppressed voice in which he had tirst spoken, " thai your presence under his lordship's roof can tail to exert a despotic power over all within ihe sphere ol its inHiiencel ' And am I to he the only milortunate individual to , whom it is hrrbuhlen to acknowledge its suprein- ' aoy 1 Surely this is someuhat ungenerous!" j "Nay, nay!" exclaimed the lady, with a half-coijiieiiish and all-harmomous laugh, as .she extended iowaids him her small white hand ; "you remain here, and we cannot aflbrd, in such a sohtude as this, o live together in en- uiity. At all events, I p opose a iruce." "And 1 accept your u rms," said my father, bending his lips u|)on Ihf hand he held. "Do you admire Ka" ne !" asked the lady, raising her Ixauiiful ey. 3 to his face for an in- stant ; " with all his monotony of cadence, surely he was a great fr..et." "And lived in a grct age," was the reply ; " great ahke in its Iu7-..ry, its ambition, and its vices. It is, 1 conff.?.i, somewhat difficult to me, as I turn ove/ the pages of his tragic dramas, to f^.^i-e to myself the auihor of An- dromache fj'.e/ ,-)g 'Jic caprices of a court, and the chances r; r^ camp." — (Uy this time my i father had dr ,w , a chair near that of the lady, I and estal)lislicd '.irnielf comfortably at her side.) — " Nor do 1 h.) j it more easy to reconcile the pliability at' ler.perament which enabled the man of genius to v^ie with a group of witless courtiers in (lailrr:ng a vain and sensual mon- arch, beyond t^c bounds of modesty and rea- son." "Racine!" exclaimed the Lady Madelaine, interested in spite of herself by the turn which her own quesl'oii had given to the conversa- tion ; " I do not remember to what you allude. Perhaps you will relate the anecdote." C " It is brief and simple," said my father " \\'hen Louis XIV. pensioned Racine and D(!S preaiix as the historians of his reign, the war against Germany was still at its height ; and a few days after the Marshal de (/reijiii compelled the Prince of Saxe and Senac to capiiulaie, the, king remarked to them that he regretted their absence Iroiii the army upon that occasion, a3 it would have enabled them to see a little light- ing, without much exertion or fatigue; upon which Racme replied, ' Sire, wc are two citi- zens, who have only jirovided ourselves with a costume suited to peace and study ; we had in- deed ordered suits more appropriate to the camp, but your majesty takes the places which you attack with such rapidity, that our tailors have not had time to hnisb them.' Surely this was unworthy of a great genius." "Paliry and pitiful!" acquiesced the lady, with a contemptuous toss of her little head ; "a woman would have spurned st) coarse and so fulsome a flattery." Now I am quite sure that my reader was to- tally unprepared for siu-li a dialogue as this ; and yet, all hough il progressed m preci.sely the same manner lo its clo.se, and Uial not one word of gallantry escaped the li()s of my f.ilher, and not one seiitein'c ,il' eiieou.ragemiiU was uttered by those of his companion, both paitiea were cising name; crowding Its walls with shelves lull of books which they | never read, and its tables with paper upon which | they never write I I rarely enter one of these [ calumniated cabinets without thinking of the ; Uashfiil Man in the Spectator, who, m helping hims'lf to what he supposed to be a voIuuk; oI' Xenophon, drew down on his unhapjty head a ponderous lioard, leathered artd gill into tlie (air | semblance of a set of classics ; and expended i upon his best suit the ink of the cajiacious I stand wh;ch had been destined to dry up in | quiet and undisturbed dignity. He is probably [ not the only individual who has suffered from a similar mistake. The request was peculiarly ill timed, for my father felt that he had never yet hi en listened to with an attention so marked and fiattering. 'J'he fair lady had taken so unaffected an inter- est in the liille episodes of his traveling life, and had received with so much genuine pleasure the half-dozen drawings and cameos, which he had ventured to offer to her, that a bright hope sprang up in his heart which he had never he- fore entertained. There was, however, n' remedy for the evil. Common politeness co!.i- pelled his immediate acquiescence in the carl's request: and he closed the portf(dio with a lit- tle gesture of impatience, easily interpreted by his companion. " I beseech you, do not run away with it," she said, smilingly ; " if you have sufficient con- fidence in my good taste to believe that it will prove a charming resource for my indolence, while my lord asks your advice on some mat- ter of agricultural interest, or country justice; though I warn you that I may probably lay aside all that strikes my fancy ; and condemn you, on your return, to such graphic and legerj- dary illustration as may sorely try your pa- tience." " I will willingly encounter the risk, hazard- ous though it be," replied my father as he lelt the room.'w'ith a firm intention to render the period of his absence as short as possible. His own impression, as, preceded by the grave old butler, he wended his way to the earl's sanctum, was simply that Lord Glenfil- lan was psobably in want of a few additional hundreds, and was about to do him the lionor of asking them at his hands ; and no idea could possibly have been more agreeable to my fathei. It vvould be another link of kindness and good- will between them ; and he was naturally anx- ious to create these by every means in his pow er, while this was one of the most ready and easy which he could encounter. One glance at my lord, as he entered the room, however, sufficed to undeceive him. The earl had' by no means ihe appearance of a m;in about to ask- a loan. There was a self- gratulatory graciousncss about him, which for an instant made my father fear that, on the contrary, he was about to rescind that which he had already contracted. But, in this, he was equally at fault. Lrtira Glf.nfillan was in the true study cos- tume : a brocaded silk dressing-gown, yellow morocco slippers, and a velvet skull-cap. He was rubbing his palms together gently and quietly, like a person well-satisfied, who was prepared to be amiable ; and when tired of this amusement, he indulgfd the playfulness of his spirit by twirling the tassels which were at- tached to the cord that confined his dressing- gown at the waist. He inoti(.ned my tather to an easy chair with a sweet smile and a grace- ful wave ol the hand ; and seated liii)i>elf oppo- site to him with much the same air as a mon- arch assumes when he is about to give audi- eiiee. He had evidently more trouble in "ton- ing down" his urbuniiy, than in creating a semblance to the virtue when he had it not He was, in short, the very embodiment of h" man sunshine. CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. 19 Hf- opened the conference with a sapient re- mark upon the weather. The dense log which, 8t iJayhreak, iiunir like a dark douil upon the lake, and maite the larches on the opposite hill quite invisible from the windows, had really cleared off in a most extraordinary manner. Indeed, he did not kno'v wlien he ha(l seen a finer day. It was almost a sin in a young man, like his friend Tilden, to remain mewed up in the house when he might be amid tiie heather with his gun upon his shoulder. He, however, could not hut feel the contrary mode of action as a vast coinplimant to his family circle; and was delighted to find that there was amusement enough within the castle walis, to satisfy so truant a personage as his present guest. My faiher, of course, could only bow, and smiie, and declare that he could expect no en- joyment without, even upon the heathery hills, with sport at pleasure, to equal that which he could command within. And then there was a short pause. The guest waited to learn what was to he the subject of the tctc-atcte ; and Use host did not altogether know how to broach it. i At length he assumed his most sonny look, | and throwing himself back upon his seat, while ! he kept his eyes steadily fixed upon an experi- ment which he was trying, and which consisted in joining the fingers of iiis two hands at tlie | point; and then, closing the palms slowly and caiefully together, as thocgh he were anxious to convince himself that they were both per- j fectly of a size, he said, in an accent of great benignity— | " I am more than pleased, my dear fellow, that it should be so ; for, although no longer young myself, I have not yet quite forgotten that men of yojir age do not abandon the sports | of the field, and ihe manly exercises to which they are accu.stomed. without a powerful induce- ment ; and, even delicately situated as I arn, I \ cannot resist telling you, Tilden, how much I j rejoice that such should be the case." | And the earl, having by this time satisfied himsell that his hands were indubitably fellows, extended one of them to his vrsitiir, with a frankness which \vas quite beautiful. My lather was s Have I not two daughters, sir? Does not « father n:iturally seek to establish the elder I Is the l.ady Elora a cipher ! I offered to you, sir, I he hand of the Lady Flora." " In that case, my lord," said the guest, ris- ing Irom his seat, " our conl'erenco is ended. I have the greatest possible re.--pect for Lady Fhira CJlenrillan ; but I must he excused if Ij decline to hecome the husband of any woman for whom 1 could never enieriain a warmer feeling. I deeply regret the misunderstanding which lias led to so unpleasant a scene ; but feel satisfied that l)oih the lady and yourself will exonerate me trom tilame when you have calmly and in detail passed my conduct in re- view." '• I have uttered no word of blame, sir," said the earl sullenly, as he also ro.-^e ; "I confess myself deceived by appearances, by prohahili- lies — perhaps somewhat by the bent of my own j wishes." I My father bowed coldly. "Has your lord- ship any commands for England !" '• IS'ay, nay, Mr. 'I'ilden, do noi be so jjrecipi- taie," said his host, in a more concdiaioiy lone. "13ecau;e I have conlebsed that 1 de- eired y(tu as a son-in-law, and that vou have declined the alliance which I proposeil, we need not, in consequence, become sii angers — I will not say eneiMcs; f.ir 1 know my own nature, and have loo good an opiniim of yours, to be- lieve such an extreme prol),d)le." " You do no more than justice to both of us, my lord," rejihi'd my failier ; " but, my eyes being now (qiened to the hopelessness n- thusiasm during the solitude of the honeymoon, and to avoid the'peril of the " Long probationary week Of clofJC rL'Tirtiticiit, as profound As if they both were undeigroiinil ;' warning them of the consequences likely to ac- crue from entire and uninterrupted mutual do pendence. " Be counseled. — Stir not, near or far, But st;iy, L charge you, where you are. The dream of passion, soon or late, Is liriiken — don't anticipate. Haste not to lose your hopes in fear."). Stark mad for moments, dull for years; Devour not, for your comfort's sake. At onci!, like children, all your cake ; Truth (on your memory well engrave It) Whis|)ers, you cannot eat and have it. Gold IS too precious— lay it not So thickly on a single spot; But beat the. bullion — husbands, wives — And spread it over all your lives." My mother's worldly sense had been pro- phetic of this counsel. Married quietly and un- ostentatiously at Glenfillan — for, as both she and the earl agreed, the less parade made on the occasion of becoming the wife of a com- moner, the better — it was not for (hem to seem to invite congratulations — the journey to town had occupied a sufficient space of time to eiiahSe Lady Madelaine to announce herself at. once lo the gay world, and to rally around her all the hundred and one friends whom she bad left, grief-stricken, when she was last coiTipilled to abandon "London and its dear delights." The anticipation of coming pleasures — the foretaste of anticipated triumphs — the newly-insured possession of affluence and independence — all conduced to make the mood of the lovely bride sunny and sweet as the tnost exacting bride- groom could desire ; while the pleasant languor arising from a long journey so luxuriously and deliberately performed as to make fatigue im- possible, rendered the anxious and tender attentions of the newly-made husband alike well-timed and welcome ; and they were conse- quently so gracefully and graciously received that my father was enraptured with the bright- ness of his destiny. From the hour in which they reached town, all was changed. The splendiilly-mounted mansion, which had been carefully prepared for the occupatitm of its young mistress, j^tariied her into an exclamation of delighted acknowl- edgment. Her boudoir, lined with plate-glass, and draperied with pale-blue silk; her toilet, covered with costly toys; her morning-room, where pictures by the old masters were pan- eled into walls hung with crimson velvet, and exquisite statuettes, mounted on pedestals of ormolu, filled up the ni(;hes ; the spacious ro- cepi ion-rooms, over whose arrangement the hand of wealth and elegance had successfully presided ; all these tlattered the pride, and satis- fied the ambition of the earl's daughter. The better feelings of her nature were awakened t)y the effort, everywhere visible, which had been made to gratify her peculiar tastes and wishes ; and the first evening " at home" was spent tete-a-tctc by my father and his patrician brido in harmony and happiness. There was. bO uiuch to examine — so much t« 24 CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. admire — and when, on toncliing the spring of a ' casket w,.ich stood upon her toilet, .is the hd flew up, my mother discovered a set of dia- monds which a iimnarch miyht have envied, j she forgot her moif^ne for a moment, and gave loose to all the sincere delight inspired by the princely present. I My failier was, as a matter of course, over- j paid for all ; and he believed, unhappily for him, lliatthis was but I he commencement of a long lite of love and confidence. No friendly voice had whispered in his ear that the beautiful Lady Madidaine Glenfillan had considered it neces- sary to apologize to her own pridtJ for her con- \ descension m becoming his wile ; and that his ■ magnificence gratified her the more because it tended to show her that, at whatever sacrifice ' of dignity, she had done riL'ht. He believetl j that they had met upon equal terms. The earl | was a needy man, to whom the retention of the slender portion destined to his daujihter was an object of great and serious importance — he had | asked only the fiand and heart, and not the por- tion, of that (laughter. The first had been ceded to him readily and gracefully ; he had yet to learn in how far he had secured the other. . Lady Madelaine Tilden had taken her meas- ures skilfully, and like a good tactician. The first evening of her arrival in Giosvenor Square ^Tas the last which she was compelled to spend alone with her husband, and perhaps it was better so : for these compulsatory matri- monial duels are more frequently cases of moral dosa-dos than tcle-a-tcte ; and it is diflicult to decide, when this occurs, which individual of the ctinjugal duo is the best entitled to com- miseration. A woman, however pretty and graceful she may be at oiher times, when once she has re-] solved on investing her spirit in its wrapping-' gown and papillolcs ; and a man, however in- tellectual and fascinating in society, who deter- 1 mines on pcnnilting his higher faculties to ap- pear at home in the easy negligence of a robe de chamhie and slippers, are each apt to appear considerably less attractive to the one looker-on, for whose peculiar benefit the scene has been , got up, than may be altogether desirable. Cer- tain it is that the system of "hanging up the fiddle at home" is a somewhat dangerous one lor the performer, who is accustomed to " dis- 1 course eloquent music" elsewhere. Here, then, was another peril from which Lady Madelaine wisely resolved to deliver her- self at once. It was out of the question that she, young, handsome, highly-born, and fash- ionable, should hide her advantages from a wtirld which she was so well calculated both to enjoy and to adorn, in order to shut herself up with Mr. Tilden, even in a room lined with |)late-glass and dra|)eried with pale-blue silk ; i and, acting upon this principle, she had been ! careful to a|)piise her friends of the probable period of her arrival in town. ^ The season was just commencing. The race of idleness and folly had scarcely begun. The arrival of the beautiful bride of the wealthy Mr. 'J'llden (the lame of whose large liMlune had reached Loiidcm, through the medium of the earl, some weeks before) was an agreeable event ; and not the least pleasurable emo- lion which she had experienced on taking pos- , session of her new home flushed the cheek of my mother, as she saw the table in her nioru- ing-room coverevl w'ih minute notes, and up- heaped with visiting tickets. She had no sooner examined them on the morrow than she found herself in the very vor- tex of dissi[)aiion. Admiraiipn in some, and curiosity in others, had <-oiiibmed to send "all the world" to Lady Madelaine"s door, and each had some engagement in which she was in- cluded. Her e) e brightened, and her lip smiled, as she threw aside each note after a hasty peru- sal, until she opened one upon which she dwelt long and earnestly, with a heightened color and a healing pulse, and which she consigned to her reticn'e as soon as she had, for the second time, reached its conclusion. Here it is : — " Eureka ! you are really, then, once more on your way to town, ma toiitr. idle ! I am en- chanted, and so is Sir Herbert. Ol' Otterlbrd I say nothing, save that I have not been able to trust him out -of my sight, since the news ar- rived. Al btion intcvdidure. pochc parok hastano ! Can you condescend to the opera l)el()re Easter ! I shall reserve a seat in my bo.v for Saturday, as perhaps you may not yet be mo/ilcc there ; at all events, let me have yon the first night ■ Pray make my baisemains to ;/ mnrito. and say how much I regret that I cannot make rooru for him ; but I have been persecuted since this French dnnscuse made her appearance, about whom all the men in the world, save one, have gone mad ; and I have not moral courage enough to say ' no,' so long as I have a chair left. She goes to Milan next week, so don't fail me for your own sake. How did you leave Lord Glenfillan? " Toutc-a-rous ! " Sydney Devereux.' And this was Saturday. This was her first day under her husband's roof For a moment she hesitated. Mr. Tilden might think it un- gracious were she to leave him the first evenirjg in a house as sirange to himself as to her. He might not approve of her appearing for the first time in pul)lic under any protection but his own. But then the French dancer, whom she might never see at all, if she missed her to-night ! It was very provoking that there should be no room in the box for Mr. Tilden. To whom could Lady Devereux have promised ail her ivories 1 It was a strange question for my mother to ask herself, as she had been so long absent from town ; hut nevertheless, she did bL'gin guessing who were to be the occupants of ihe box. No more women, she knew. Lady Devereux was far too fastidious to hold a par- liament of petticoats at the king's theatre. Sir Herbert detested all places save the pit. (There was no onmibns in my mother's time.) And the result of her self-questioning- upon the su!>- jecl was — Lord Otterlurd. Lady Madelaine threw herself back among the satin cushions of her bcrfr'eie, and fell into a fit of deep musing. Lord Otterford had wor- shiped her for a whole year. Her aunt had looked forvvard with confidence to their mar riage. They had sung, danced, and rode to- gether. Otterford was very handsome, with large, almond-shaped black eyes, a well-formed CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. 25 and prominent nose, fine teeth, and a graecfiil I figure. Had there been any mind under tlie mask, he would have been eniinenily handsome. As ii was, Otieriiird was only a musician and a j roue. He had pursueraw his pretensions, and that, in truth, his expensive habits and comfiarative- ly sleiwler res()urces haci|)ally upon the French dancer, and the regret of Lady Deve- reux that, on this occasion, she was unable to offer Mr. Tilden a seal in her box ; and wind- ing up her communication by entreating, with the sweetest smile in the world, that he would not trouble himself to dress, as she had not a monaent to spare, and would therefore, for her own sake, overlook the solecism. The astonishment with which my father list ened requires no comment. He was slung to the very soul ; and had Lady Madelaine raised her eyes to his countenance as he kfi ihe room, she would have be?n at no loss to understand the effect which her words had pr(«hiced ; but she was already too good a tactician to ex- pose herself to unnecessary annoyance, and she ctmsequently kept thetu riveted upon her bracelet. My father was no longer a young inan, and he loved for the first lime It i.s, therefore, scarcely lo he wondered at, that i)efore he de- scended from his dressing closet, after a hasty and imperfect toilet, to ciindu(;t his bride lo the dining-room, he had found what lie endeavored to believe were siidicirni excuses for her thoughtlessness. She was so youn^j, and so 26 CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. aJtiiired — bore lio invnluntarily wincptl a lilile, but soon recuvorpil himself. Slie had heen so is&laled at (jlenfillan ; and now slie was again among the I'l lends of lier early youth, and the 6cencs of lier first girlisli liuppiness : sucii a circunislance would not, iti all pmhability. oc- cur again. She had been taken by siir|irise. and could not propt^rly be blamed for waiiiiug the consideration whii h a married woman, con- siderably her senior, had not deemed it neces- eary to display towards hiiiiself. Still, it was proveking ; and when he had fancied, too, that the becoming and careful toilet had been made for him ! There %vas, however, no possibility of show- ing even the sliadow of harshness to so beauli- fui a being — the bride of two weeks only — and 60 — most gracious reader ! my father reentered the drawing-room, in which he was to spend liis solitary evening, with a smile upon his lips, and thus taught Ins fair wife a lesson on her own power, which she tiever afterwards un- learned ; and, at the elose of a constrained and hurried dinner, handed her carefully to her car- riage, to feel, as she drove towards the Hay- market, that, afier all, Mr. Tilden was really less imreasonahle than many men whom she had known ; and to wonder whether Lord Ol- terford would he glad to meet her again. She was nut hmg left in suspense; for, as her carriage slopped at the Opera House, the subject of her thoughls stood at llie portal, ready to assist her to alight, and to conduct her to Lan treated, if not exacily wiili contempt by his ■ wife, at Irasl with a want of courtesy emi- nently galling to a ppiud spirit like his. In short, his reverie was anything l)ut pleasant ; and he was 'ilad wIk n, at midnight, he heard the carrii'ge oiiee more drive from the dour to feleh h(mie his iriiant wife. On this occasion he, for the first lime, paid the penally of his wealih ; for his esiablishment was formed on so extensive a scale, that it was impossible for him lo relieve the tedium of his soli'.ude by making one aflcclionate arrange- ment to welcome her return. There was no- thing which he could do that would nol he tenfold belter done by her maid or her fuoiman ; so he amused himself by walking up and down the spacious apartment, and accommodating his paces to the patiern of the carpet, in order that, at least, he might nol appear weary wlien she came in. Bui amusements, even as intellectual as that which he had selected, will not interest for- ever; and my father had omitted to remember, that the departure of a carriage did nol neces- sarily involve the return of its mistress ; and so it proved in this case; for Lady Devereux hat" a petit soiipfr after the opera, and she declared, and Lord Otierford looked, the impossibility of consuming chickens and champagiK? Wft!n)Ut their long-lost friend ; while Lady Madelaine was so delighted with the admiration which she had elicited "from all parts of the bouse," and was so bewildered by the strange and un- accountable melanclndy of the once gay and brilliant man who had stood throughout the evening behind her chair, taking no share in the lively conversation of his cousin, but as- siduous in his silenl atleniinns to lierscK, that she could not forbear a feeling of curiosity a-s lo its cause; so she resolved to join ihe sup- per, anil lo take an ,9pporiuniiy of iiueslioniiig Lady Devereux upon the subject. There is assuredly a spell m lliosc Opera sup- pers ; and this paitieular one was enehaiumg! As she left ihe house. Lady Devereux was be- sieged by entreat les for permission to accom- pany her home, but, having formed her party, she was obdmale. '• Not to-night, my huci — not to-nighl, my dear sir. — Impossible, Sir James ; I never exceed a dozen" — formed the running accompaniment to her retreat ; and when Lady Madelaine drove off in her iVieinrs cha- riot, her own w;as ordered to follow her to Port- land Place. Half past two o'clock on Sunday morning liad chimed, when once more the knocker ol the hall door sent its s/oc':«/o.thunband. And so ended their second iiiglil in town. CHAPTER VII. The last ball had been given ; the last dinner eaten ; the la-st lounger had dejiarted, or. finite de nttcitx, bad declared himself gmie, and become temporarily invisible; the belle of fi\e seasona had reluctantly admitted lo h^rsell', and been reminded by her chaperone, iliat anoi her chance was lost, and had despairingly belaken herself lo a cheap watering-place, to ijecruit alike her healih and li(;r finances, and to sigh over the past; the last beiiefii was over ; Ihe drive was dusty and deserted ; a few who had announced tiial they were '■ oil' tu the cunlineni'' had beea CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY. WOMAN. 87 compplled to content themselves with crossing the water in liie neiirJihuriiooiJ of liie Uoioiigh ; peileshirtns could venture upon passing (Voni the pavement of one great thorouglifare to another, wiuidut risking their necks ; tradesmen hegan to reckon up their profits, and fathers of lainilies to letlect upon tlieir biils ; in short, " Lonihm itself was out of town," and still my mother lingered. Rookslcy, and a matrimonial icle-a- teic of a month's duration, were more th;in she had courage to contemplate, alter the brilliant and triumpiiant debut which she had made. ' There was, however, no aliernative. Tiie season was at an end. Lady Madelaine Tilden had i)een the fashion. Royally had eulogized lier beauty and her grace ; diiiers-out had de- cided on the excellence of her c/ief ; sour dow- agers h.ul sneered at her mesalliance ; and bud- ding beauties had intrigued and entreated for invitations to her ball ; where " ' Wreathed smiles' went round, and speeches Fine. I'Drceil, ;ind pleniiful — as (waches; And cosily wines on every side Tuared ih'eir bright current t'ur and wide." And what role, it may be asked, did my father en.ici in this brilliant drama ! I am proud to answer, that it was one so dignitied and irre- proachalile, that Lady Madelaine herself, had she had lime to remark it, must have felt how greatly her own consequence was enhrtnccd by the noble bearing of her husband. They were occasionallv seen together in public ; espacially , at the Opera, where she had secured a ho.x next to that of Lady Devereux ; and, on these oc- casions, ihe manly beauty and graceful hearing of Mr. Tilden never failed to elicit both com- j mcnt and curiosity. Who was he ! Where did bis money come froml These were the two priiicii)al queries; and, although they were fre- quently answered, it was always by inference or surmise ; for the "set" into whi.-li his mar- riage had introduced him, were as little likely to know anyihuig of the late tirm of Osbaldislon and Co , as of the leading tea-mart at Pekin. That he was a man of refined tastes and fas- tidious habits was visible at once — there was notliing of the parvenu about him. Half a dozen titled acquainiance volunteered to propose him at their respectiveclubs ; a few accommodating friends were anxious to transfer to him some of the best horses in England ; bijt they quickly discovered that Mr. Tilden knew as much of horse-flesh as themselves, although he might not condi'scend to make his talent quite so profita- ble ; and, in short, it was soon evident to every body who was anybody, and tiiese composed Lady Madelaine"s visiting list, that Mr. Tilden. be he who he might, was not a man who could either be " shelved" or "done." And now, a circumstance has just struck me, which, from my own knowledge of the veracity of my narrative, never before presented itself to my mind ; but which riiay very fairly have in- duced some dout)t in those of su(;h of my readers as may feel disposed to be difficult and I hypei critical. I I have made repeated allusions to the refined mind and elegant tastes of my father, and there may he individuals, who, themselves liighly-born and elaborately educated, may revert to the early training and occupation of the young mer- diaut with a feeiiog of fastidiousness and cou- i tempt; and pirascihemselves by believing in the impossibility of so utter a change a> ihat which I have represented, and in comparatively .so short a space of lime. They have only, however, to remember that human will is a st powerful engine ; and that where it was worked by am- biinin, pride, and self-respect, it was urged on l>y three of ihe great impulses of our nature. Nor was the social conversion of my father a sudden miracle, wrought by the mere [)ossessiori of wealth ; it was the slowly and sti;adily at- tained result of time, and distance, and applica- tion. I have myself not spared the satisfied ig- norance of the traveled novice, who, anxious to assume the attribuies of a connoisseur, dabbled in doubtful originals, and consigned to the ad- dress of his agent in England a case or two ol worthless pictures : but those ftdlies were the early mistakes tW his inexperience, by which he had far loo much sense and discriiiiination to he long misled. A total estrangement from the scenes, the associates, and the pursuits of his early manhood, threw the active iniiul r-speculation. Jemima, as she trims her fiock. is frequently employed in won- dering what mamma meant last nigiit hy telling Mrs. Smiih that Miss Jones hail jilted Mr. Drown, because she discovered thai Mr. Rob- inson was a richer man ; and when the frock is coinpleKMl a day or two afterwards, she is j very prot)ai)ly still occtupied in wondering wliet.h- er, when she is a little older, she shall ever j jilt any one, and if it is a pleasant amusement, j and what it really means. Fanny, as she dresses her didl, liids her be good and quiet, I an-d then she shall have a rich husl)and, and ride in a carriage, and dn just as slic likes ; for mamma told papa yesterday, when he was an- gry with her. that she would do as she liked — while the girl of thirteen already begins to crit- icise ner mother's beauty, and to ask herself what will be the probable effects produced by her own Where there are strong powers of mind, these are merely subordinate speculations. The intellect, as it awakens, is insatiable ; and it seizes upon every aliment within its reach. How often do we all witness instances of this fact 1 How often do we see the really clever and in- telligent girl sink into the dull and mindless I woman ! Woe be to them by whom the holy I lamp of intelligence was suffered to' liicker and ' go out ! I Gifted with extraordinary powers of percep- 1 tion, of retention, and of analysis, my mother, under the aide tuition of the world-worshiping! Lady Sini-I.ijr, was at fifteen a wdman in tact ' and fa.-.liion. Slie fully understooil the priv- ileges of her high birth, the advantages of her exlrctni' beauiy, and the necessity of mak- ing both contribule to her after-establishment. These were her aunt's lessons. Tlie world itself, ere Unig, taught her others.. Intoxicated by the adulatmn (if the men and the envy of the women, she miglit have become insolent, had she not felt the «m;>o/(cy of such a weakness ; and the eame admirable tact which preserved her in this insiancc, saved her a second time, when, as her fiaiierers fell away, " each after each," I on discovering the slender amount of her dowry, I she learnt that even she — the higlily-burn and the beautiful — could he put into a huiuiiiating competition with — money! Then, again, her woman-wit lent its aid ; and, where a weaker mind would have become hitter, she unly became wise Her after-fate confirmed this wisdom. In the seclusion of her father's castle, and ren- dered painfully aware of that father's trammeled position, she had time to revert to the past. She began to concede that tiie fortune-liiinling adorers, by whom she had been first worshiped and then deserted, might advance a valid ex-' cuse fornheir aposiacy — she began to discover that there was wisilom as well as wit in the old song, which declares that " Not even love can live on flowers ;" and — she married my father. Lady Madelaiiie Tilden had not studied (or the nine long years of awakening wuiii.inJKJod under such al)le tutors as the world- and Lady JSinclair ; she had not suffered mortilicalion and disappointment ; she had not fell her pride prostrated, her self-love woundeil, and her heart, made the toy of idle ami inteiesied f'oplmgs ; she had not been suddenly withdrawn Inim the giddy vortex of fashion and celebrity, and buried alive in the Highlands, to muse over ih(; motives, the impulses, the feelings, and the weaknesses of those among whom she had previously lived, to reappear in the same l)iiglit and busy world a wcunan in stature, l>iit a child at heart. Remeiiibering my mother vividly, as I still do, I feel satisfied that, with the saiiie experience (had that been possible), she would have played at fitteen the same cold, and haughty, and deci- sive part. Age has no influence upon princi- ples, and feelings, and prejudices, like those of Lady Madelaine Tilden. The seasmi was at an end. The woods and glades of Rooksley were in ah their beauty The domain was exiensive, and in admirablo taste. If a fault could be found, M existed in the absence of all ancient timber — the leafy honors of Rooksley Chace had been stricken down by the hammer of the auctioneer. It is true, thai greai skill had been evnujed in repair- ing this evil, in so far as it was suscepiilile ot reparation ; but the anti(|ue grandeur of the mansion seeiiied to frown forth, in haughty scorn of the new generation of forest timber that was growing up about it. Lady jDevereux, on her first visit to the Chace, laughingly told her cousin tiiat tiie new acquisition of Mr. Tilden reminded lier of him- self : it was very stately and very magnificent, but it wauled time ! " At. last, my sweet Madelaine," said her hus- band, as for the -second time they sat leic-h-icie by lamplight under their own roof, "at last )ou are all my own, and I have time to ask you a thousand (piestions, which you, more slraii^jely still, have iiiik! to answer. And, first, how do you like Rooksley !" " It IS impossible not to like a place upon which the Duke of Dorchester prided himseU so much," replied my mother, who had never been surprised out of her ml admiran since her arrival in Grosvenor Square; "but it sadly wants timber." ' Our woods are very promising, and we must CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. 29 have patienrG," said my fallier, in whose voice llitTC was a sliglit tone ol disappoiiitineiit. "And you must excuse me if I add, Mr. Til- den, that itie liouse as sadly requires — inmates. We are positively lost here alone." " Bill just now, my dear Madelai.ne, repose and quiet are so essential to yon.' Your roses have waned fearfully during the past season. I shall ni.l be iiappy until I see them bloom again." " Have we any neighborhood !" asked the young wife in her turn. " i have not yet made the inquiry. I only fear that we shall ascertain the fact too soon. In so line a sporting country, there can be little doubt that we shall find many resident families, who will not fad to seize so ailmirable an op- ^Jomlnlly ol making the acciiiaintaiice of the fair ami Cashiimalile Lady Madelaine Tildti.." " ProvHied thatjhey prove visitable. > will be a blessing ;" said my mother, as she suppressed a jawn ; " Glentillan has perfectly disgjsied me wall einpty.eclioing, overgrown family houses." My laibfr walked to the open window, and drawiiiii back the curtain, looked out upon the beautiful expanse of wood and water, which lay steeped in moonlight, beyond the lawn. Tlie tleer were lying in groups u|)(m the soft green sward of the home-park, and their long shadows formed fantastic outlines upon llie grass. The nigbiingales were answering each other from the ieal-laden boughs. At intervals a ' hare started from the untlerwood, and scudded across the open glades, brushing away the heavy drops of dew which fringed tlie blades of the long grass ; and the peculiar cry .of the pheasants broke the silence for an instant, as it rose from the more distant preserves. It was a scene of rich and tranquil English landscape beauty; and as my father mentally ran over tite vaiij>us and vaunted spots which he bad visited during his wanderings, he could recall noihing by which it seemed to him to be rivaled in pure and placid loveliness. After having contemplated the enchanting view for a time in silence, be could not refrain from expatiating upon its extreme beauty to Lady Madelaine, who rose languidly from her chair, as if rather with a courteous desire to give bim pleasure, than fiom an idea of receiv- ing any herself My moiher was no whit a sen- timentalist: she had never been taught to con- sider the country otherwise than ai the most correct refuse after the season, and that portion of Ihe British empire in which the (lowers were growH that composed her bouquets. But even she was not altogether proof against the spell ofihe(|uiel holiness of nature: and, for a time, she gazed long and silently on the clear glory of that summer night ; watched the reflection of the blight stars, as they appeared to dance upon the undulating ripple of the lake ; and then sent her long and searching glances deep into the blue and cloudless sky, over which they were strown like diamcmd-sluds upon a regal mantle : while the moon, that lay lovingly upon the open glades, and on the glittering waters, oiily touched the summits of the tall trees, and trowned them with silver, leaving broad masses of shadow about and beneath them, which lent a mysierious indistinctness to t!ie distance. Hers was not, however, a nature to remain ang thus absorbed. The very beauty of the scene soon suggested other and more worldly ideas. She beg;in to think how admiiably Iho park lent itself to the idea of a br.lliant fcle champclre. P'ireworks would have a dtdightfnl effect, if let olF from the island on the lake. Noihing could be prettier! And two or three boats, gaily decked with streamers and colored lights, would be I'airy-like and ma^jical, as they appeared and disappeared among the overhang- ing willows. Then she peopled the lawn with dancing booths, marquees, and [)arii-colored groups ; and then she heaved a sigh, as she re- membered that they were utter strangers in the county, and that, to do all this, the lew friends whom they expected would not suffice ; while, even for the advent of those few, she had yet a weary month to wait. " Is it not calm and lovely 1" asked my father at length, as vvitb affectionate anxiety he threw a shawl over her shoulders, and passed bis arm about her waist. " The long', deep sigh, to which you just now gave utterance, awoke me, j my sweet wife, from the most delicious train of thought in which I had ever indulged. Dare I tell you what was its suliject !" ' "As it would seem that we were similarly engaged, we have alike done treason to the beauty upon which we looked ;" was the reply ; ! " for in me, also, it induced a chateau en Es- ' pagne, that was not without its charms." j " Will you not confide it to me I" "I see no reason why I should refuse. I was picturing to myself how beautiful a fete we might give here, and how well everything would tell, for no natural accessory is wanted ; when I suddenly remembered that we knew no one, and that, consequently, I could do nothing, save cons(de myself with the Italian jiroverb, Soffri il male, e asjjetta U bc?ie.'' ' "And I," said the husband, as he looked down fondly, and yet somewhat mournfully, ] upon the beaulilul face, on which the moonlight ' shed its clear, calm radiance; " I was thinking ^ with how proud a heart I might one day see ' you lead fcutn our child to gamtxd on that vel- vet lawn, and to sport beside those glittering waters. I was thinking — " i " I beseech you, do not read me a homily ;" said my mother, withdrawing herself from hia clasp with a slight shudder, and reiurning to her seat: "that is a suliject ubich I by no means wish to dwell on. I assiiie you, Mr. , Tilden, that to a young and fashimiable woman such a pros[)ect is by no means a pleasant one." I "But to a wife, Madelaine — " I " Ha, that is the text of another homily. Fif- ; teen years hence I shall myself, perh.ips, babble of maternal dunes ; at piesenl 1 ilo not affect to understand them, and am.only thankful that, at all events, such tilings have been created as nursery-maids and governesses." "Que day I trust that you will feel difTer- ently," said my father, forcing a smile. 1 "Perhaps;" was the cold reply; "but at ' present 1 will only ask you to ring for the chess- board." CnAFTEU VIII. The dreaded irionth went by more rapidly than the Lady Madelaine had aiiticipalcd. It was impossible to be thrown entirely upon mv 20 CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. father's society witliout appreciating his many adtniraWe qiirililies ; and had not ihe twelve previous weeks of dissipaiiim, coquetry, and folly, thor his moiber and her with magnificence; but what had she not sister made every spot which they inhabited no» done for A;m.' Look at her rank— her coiinex- only bearable, but pleasant lo him. Fiederi< ion — her beauty! Was he not almost old Vernon was not constituted for retirement. His enough to be her father 1 And— her dear Mad- ' talents were dazzling, hut by no mC-aiis solid ; his elaine must forgive her for speaking frankly— j acquirements were barely respectable ; but he was he not, before their marriage, a nobody I had the tad lo ajjpear far wiser than he was — All this was undeniable — and iijion these pre- ' a secret more generally diffused in society than" mises my mother acted. There can be no ' it is supposed to be, and pariitularly easy to doubt that there must have heen moments in ' practice by a handsome young man of good which the (luestion K-ou/(/ arise in her own heart, ! property, whom no one is vastly disposed to in how far her renewal of intimacy with Lord ' criticise with severity. His success abroad had Olterford was either desirable or correct ; but, heen considerable; and it was even rumoied if it were so, the extreme pride, which was her ihat he had been requested to quit the territories besetting sin, must equally in those momenis of a petty Ilahaii /Ji/ra within twenty-foui hours, have proved her worst enemy, by blinding her although it had never ocemred to Mr. Vernon to the danger she had so thoughtlessly evoked, j to have any political opmmu out of bus own Be all this, however, as it may, ibe monih of' country ; hut he had danced, and sighed, and matrimonial domestication wore away swiftly ; ' looked love-lorn m a quarter where such | ro- the neigidiorbood provjng not only vis. table but [ ceeiling--. win: m>t admissible ; and he accoid- eociabie. My father's surmise was a coirect ' mgly o^reyed wiihout demur the obliging sug- one. The fame of the dashing Lady .Madi-laine gestion of the oMn-ial who waited upon liinj at 'Jilden had preceded her, and all the cotiniry j his hotel ; and passed out of the di.chy vn the were anxious to be numbered among her ac- lollowing morning, carrying away with hirn a quainlance. 'J'be men were prepared lo lose | heavy heart and an exceedingly magnificent their hearts, and the women to profit by so ad- brilliant ring. mirable an opportunity of imitating the dre.-s | No one could exactly decide how this travel- and style of a celebraied beauty. It is true, ing adventure became whispered in England, that the extremely cold and sometimes arrogant as his valet w.is, of course, as secret as the bearing of my mother, led a few of the most im- grave ; and the affair w as allogcther loo delicate porianl lamilies to doubt whether, after all, the ! to have borne mention Iroui himself; but, long-talked-of Tildens would prove any very nevertheless, it jras whimpered ; and it is, there great acquisition ; and to contrast the haughty fore, not sinprisinir llial Mr. Frederic Vernon and indolent courtesies of their new neighbor i was considered, and con.sidert>d himself lo be. CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. 31 the hero of the county. He had fits of abstrac- tion — in siicicty ; occasionally started painfully as his eye fell upon the ring; sunj; one partic- ular and pathetic Italian ballad with peculiar pathos and expression to his guitar; and was, in short, a drawing-rooiiti Corvdon. Eiriily Vernon was a charming girl of eighteen. Tall, and fair, and gentle; tenderly aitaciii^d to her widowed mother, and devotedly fond of her handsome and sentimental brother ; wiihoiit one thought of self, or one craving for admiration. Mr. Tddi'n had been from home when the Vernons called, and my mother had returned the visit without him, by leaving cards at their lodge-gate during her drive; nor had she con- sidered it necessary to mention the circum- stance, until the arrival of the dinner-card ; wlien she carelessly inquired of my father if 1'3 considered it expedient to accept the invitation. " Since you request my opinion, I should say decidedly yes;" was the reply. "On passing tiieir place, a day or two since, I inquired to whom it belonged, and was informed that the late |)roprielor represented tiie county during several sessions, and that the ladies of liie (kiiiily were almost domesticated at Rooksley, with the daughters of the duke !" * " And Felicie tells me," followed up my mother, "that Mrs. Vernon's son, who is now at the Priory, is a sort of hero de roman, who eloped with an Italian Principessa, fought a duel with the prin(;e, and was expelled the country by the piractii>n ; ilnring which his !i->oiid the deprivation of particular luxuries, or, at worst, comforts ; but she liked to see the chiidreii looking pretty and well-dressed in cliurcli on ihe Sunday ; and it was pleasant to led iliat 11 was her own work. She really felt glad, loo, when Miss Vernon suggested tlvat the si'hool-house, which stood on the verge of the Rooksley estate, was in a dilapidated condition ; and that on driving out with her friend to look at it, she discovered that it was an unsightly barn-like building, which had been erected with a VII w ui do the greatest possible good at the oinallesi jjossible amount of outlay. This was a charming circuiiislance ; and before they left the village, a cottage, which chanced to be un- tenanted, was at once secured by Lady Made- laine Im- the use of ihe children until their own school-house could be rebuilt ; and, immediately on their return home, my lather was commis- sioned to write to town Ibr architectural draw- ings, from which a design might be selected to replace the present building. No proposition could more thoroughly have dehghied Mr. Tilden. He was rejoiced to see so wholesome a taste superseding the frivolous piirsiiiis by which Ins beautiful wife had hitii- eito bfcn totally engrossed ; and, as he lost not a moinent in complying with her desire, the pi. ins soon arrived, and were at once submitted to the lair speculators. Alter iireat deliberation, the choice of Miss Vernon was absolutely negatived. It was too s'riiill, too .plain, an others, misty, indis- tinct, dreamhke, yet nevertheless far rno-e deliglilfiil. Memories of tender endearinents hivisiied on me by day and niglit, amid my ; nursery sports, and over my hitle bed. The endearments of a fond father, bestowed, in ail ^ their lender profusion, upon his tirsl-born. And | yet, surely I must have been a breathing disap- ' pDinlment to that fond father, who had doubt- lessly sigiied for a son and heir, an inheritor ol his name ; wliydi, however iusigniiicant it might liave appeared to my mother, iier friend Lady Devereux, and id genus omne, was with- out doubt a matter of interest toliimself. If such indeed I were, however, it' was a fact whicli I never learned. The apparition of my father was to me the signal for a scream of joy; his presence always brought delight : hut it was not until I grew to girlJiood, and was compelled to feel its loss, that 1 learnt to ap- preciate his value, both as a father and a man. The noise, the glare, and liie novelty of the drawing-room delighted me. It is probable that, half unconsciously, I looked around for my good genius in this scene of enchantment ; but, be that as it may, it is certain that my father was not there ; while it so chanced that, satis- tied wiih feeling that my nurse was near me, I exhil)iied du fear, I utiered no cry ; and thus I was transferred from each to each, receiving from every one in turn a word of delighted commi'ndalion. ; " *iV'bal an angel!" exclaimed one. "Wliali a lovely creature !'" said another. "-What a porlcia image of Lady Madelaine !" apostro- pliizt.-d a third. " What a miniature of perlec- j tioii !" expatiated a fourtli ; and then I was rekissed, rehiigged, and dismissed to the un- known regions in which the nurseries were | situated. I This opening scene of my little drama of exisieiice i.-- the more forcibly im|)ressed upon | my mind, finm the unpleasant effect of the j transition whii-h immediately supervened. The liead-nurse, on arriving in her own dominions, forthwith gave me over to the tender mercies of a deputy, while she doffed her best cap and collar, exclaiming loudly against the new ca- price which had at once hroknii up her evening naj), and delayed her lea-drinking. The voice of murmuting and complaint, com- ing so directly afier the pleasant whisperings ol adulation and endearment, produced an uii- coiiiforiable contrast, lo which, young as I was, I was nevertlicless fully susceptible ; and ac- cordingly, while Mrs. Harris retired to her lirivate apartment to deposit iier finery, I com- menced afeH dc joie of screams and lisping en- treaties to be carried back to the beauiilul ladies. I might as well have a^sked for the moon. I was first soothed, and then threaten- ed, and then shook, until my feeble breath caine gaspingly from my little lieart, and ultimately put into the corner, with a chair before me to prevent my escape, and left lo sob as I pleased, while my guardian resumi^d her novel. This was, however, hurriedly restored to her pocket, and myself once more caught up in her arin^ on the reappearance of her principal. O course a renewal of shrieks broke up the quiet of the nursery, and the "miniature per- fection" of the drawing-room was suddenly transferred into the " brat" of the north wing, in which the apartments ot myself and my de- pendents were siluat?d. But the ice was broken. My vain and beau- tiful mother was, it appeared, herself struck by my infantile loveliness, to which she had pre- viously paid no attention ; the reflected com- pliments induced by my appearance were pleas- ing from their novelty ; and the caresses which I lavished upon her were an agreeable variety in her daily existence. Thenceforward 1 be- can)e her frequent companion. My childish attractions were enhanced by all the auxiliaries of dress, I was one of the "lions" of Rooks- ley : while lo its mistress I was a new toy, an animated plaything. Alas ! I was destined to outgrow this char- acter ; nor was such an amusement suited long to satisfy the tastes of a young and fashionable woman, surrounded by flatterers, greedy of pleasure, and devoted to dissipation. Abandoned, as a matter of course under such circumstances, to the care of hirelings during three-fouribs of the day, I imbibed instinctively and unconsciously the germ of the many defects which my after-life so sadly developed. Nor did the violent transition from the high-breed- ing and luxury of my mother's circle to the sordid and interested tactics *of the nursery tend to iiiiprove my natural disposition. I came, with my mother's kiss still warm upon my cheek, into my own apartments, to hear the dress, the temper, and, above all, the liber- ality of her guests freely canvassed. I was so very a child, that all was discussed unhesitat- ingly before me ; and although I understood much of what I heard, it was probably fortu- nate for me that my perception was not more extensive; for the morals of my mother's inti- mates met, at times, with quite as" little quar- ter as their manners. The first lesson which I learnt, and it was by no means inculcated with gentleness, was the necessity of utter silence upon all that oc- curred in the nursery : I was neither to repeat what I heard there, nor to mention who were its visitors. No wonder that, when I began to be conscious that I understood a great deal which 1 was not supposed to hear, far less to comprehend, I should instinctively keep this secret as well as the other. 1 saw much, in caricature, in my own apartments, which I wit- nessed in high comedy in the saloon of my mother. If Lord Otterford or Frederic Vernon kissed the hand of Lady Madelaine, so did my falber'Si "gentleman" kiss the cheek of Mrs. Harris. There were the same coquetries, the same grimaces, the same interchange of un- meaning follies ; the only difference existed in the fact, that, in one instance, the canvas was touched by the pencil of a master, and in the other, daubed by the brush of a sign-painter. At six years old I was provided with a French governess. She was a sister of Felicie, who had, like herself, been destined to the honors ol the dressing-room, but who ha^l not evinced sufficient talery, to be intrusted with the toilet of a woman ol rank, and who naturally could not condescend to serve a bourgeoise. CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. When my mother decided upon this appon dage U) my mdivuinal establishment, she named it, as a matter of course, lo her attendant, who immediately, like an atlectionate sister, recom- mended Mademoiselle Josephine, who, as she assured her lady, ''avail des talents cxlraoriU- Mtrcs pour I' education!'' Such an assurance from such a quarter settled the affair at once ; my mother merely stipulating that she nmst "lonk at" mademoiselle hefore she was detini- lively engaged ; and as Feiicie felt that nothing Oi'wKi t)e more reasonahle, her extraordinarily tal^iiwd sistf r, wiid was ti>o dull lo dress hair and " ;,'et up" poini-Iace, was immediately sum- moned ; and being very pretty, very graceful, and remarkably well-dressed, was secured at once by Lady Madelaine at a high salary, to form my manners and direct my mind. Her installation in her new dignities followed within a month ; the day-nursery was duly pro- moted into a school-room ; and Mrs. Harris, not with the best grace in the .world, subsided into vice-president. Soon after the arrival of Mademoiselle Jose- phine we removed to Grosvenor Square. Par- liament had assembled, and my father was at his po^t. It took two or three weeks to settle my p.i'jther comfortably for the season. Hei arrangements were minute and complicated. •During this period I saw but little of her. The rooms appropriated t(j myself and my precep- tress were situated at the back of the house ; and save that my father generally came into my sleeping chamber on tiptoe, on his return from St. Stephen's, to kiss me as I slept, and that I v» as informed of the circumstance on the mor- row by my maid, I might well have believed mysell to be forgotten. Psevertheless, mademoiselle did not partici- pate in my ennui. The transition from a home of penury, where she Had been daily reproached with a want of common capacity, which threat- ened to make her a burden upon her family, to a situation of authority and trust in the man- sion of Lady Madelaine Tilden, was of itself happiness; but when to this circumstance was superadded the control of a carriage which was called mine, and a liveried lackey, nicknamed in like manner, she was intoxicated with her good-forliine. How I hated the everlasting Park, where we drove slowly to and fro, amid dust, and noise, and clatter I It used to make my head swim, and my eyes ache. It had, however, a far different effect upon my companion. Sb* was too pretty to pass unobserved. Her iden- tity was soon ascertained ; and Miss Tilden's governess was, ere long, as well known lo the horsemen as the Serpentine itself. But if the drives were thus distasteful to me, the walks were a hundredfold worse. I remembered the woods and glades of Ilooksley, its glancing lights and shifting shadows, and contrasted lliein in sadness with the dreary and i;nonotonous gar- den of the Square, and the unfamiliar and peo- ple-thronged avenues of Kensington Gardens. In trnie, however, I became reconciled to both, and thus the last touch of nature was removed from my heart. My mother's personal arrangements once made, she turned her attention lo myself, and masters of every description were forthwith provided for me. The exert'ons of mademoi- selle had already commenced. Jt was decided that, short as had been the period of her dicta- torship, I was undeniably improved — in ajjpear- ance. I made a more graceful courtesy, had got rid of my shyness, and did nitl, by any un- landladylike demonstrations of energy, disturb the propriety of my dress. Nothing could be belter ! Compliments were showered upon mademoiselle, and praises upon myself; after which we each made a lower add more elegant courtesy than before, and with drew to our ultima Thule. Under the care of this invali^ble preceptress I learnt to apply the apothegm which has since been (falsely) attributed lo her distinguished countryman Prince Talleyrand, that " words j were given to us to disguise our thoughts." — j By the way, how frequently it occurs tliat the world fastens upon an acknowledged wit, a shrewd saying to which he has never given ut- terance ! It would appear that individuals who occasionally stumble upon a good thing, of which they themselves do not perhaps appreciate the full merit, anxious that it should not be lost, ter- miwate it with " as so and so said ;" and in this manner, in order to save their saying, sacrifice themselves. Even so, I should imagine, was the really profound and diplomatic " saw" which I have just quoted fastened upon the modern Ma- chiavel, who, nevertheless, disclaimed its pa- rentage. I learnt, also, to agree — at least in words — with every one upon every subject, and never to betray my own sentiments and opinions; to look upon everything through the medium of expediency ; and to appreciate rank and riches beyond all other human attributes. 1 In this manner, and under this guidance, I al- ternated between Grosvenor Square and Rooks- ley, until I had reached eleven years of age. I had been told incidentally that I had a sister, who was born twelve months after myself, but I had never seen her. . The reason for this ex- traordinary fact, as I afterwards ascertained, existed in the circumstance that her birth near- ly cost the life of my mother, who continued for many months afterward a confirmed inva- , lid ; while, pour comble dc malheur, the infant i proved so sickly and so irreclaiinably plain that ' Lady Madelaine could not endure its presence ; ^ and it was consequently, at the instigation of my father, sent down lo Scotland under the charge of a trusty nurse, and placed in the care of Lady Flora Glentillan. I well remember that my first sensation on hearing I had a sister was one of intense de- light. I longed to fold her in my arms, to flasp her to my heart. I felt the blood rush into my face, and the tears, into my eyes. For a mo- ment my whole 'oeing overfltiwed wiili love. But these highly-wrought feelings were soon repressed by Mademoiselle Josephine ; who, not being herself troubled with any par'.icular senti- ment toward her own sister, save one of in- j tense jealousy, was at a loss to understand the meaning of my emotion ; and who most ellect- I ually rebuked it by reminding me that had \miladi considered this invisible sister as so ' great a blessing, she would not have been ex- iled from her paternal home ; ihat I .should be I more reasonable, if I gave m;'scll ihe trouble li« 40 CONFESSIONS OF A PRETTY WOMAN. lecollect that my fortune would be diminished Frederic Vernon ; but I also discovered more Jn«-half by the birth of tliis sister, whom I was than this. I saw that ihesweel and dove-eyed prepared to love so ardently; and who, being j Emily— she, whose caresses were to n)e Ihe he'll ugly and sickly, would, of course, be con- most welcome, and whose praises were tiie stantly envious of my beauty and grace. j most judicious and well-timed — loved the sel- No argument was ever more effective. I fish and cold-hearted nohiemaii who woie my dried my tears, stilled the beating of my heart, mother's chains. How often did I long to clasp and sat down to think ! What subjects of re- [ my arms about her neck, and tell her how, in my flection were these for a pure young mind ! No j young spirit, I loathed — I knew not, nor cared marvel, trained as I had been, that the evil seed j not wherefore — that polished liypocrite ! But took root quickly ; and that, at the close of the ' I had studied in too faJse a school to give way longest fit of musing in which I had ever in- i to so natural and pure an impulse; and so I dulged, I almost loved Mademoiselle Josephine looked on, and marveled, and reasoned with for the generous devotion to my interests, which myself, as children will do, upon tlie social phe- made her so vehement against my unknown nomena that were taking place about me. Sister. j I was not then aware of the vow taken b/Ot- It was provoking that I, certain as I was of terford on his first meeting with Frederic Ver- creatiiig a sensatiim by my beauty, should be robbed of half my wealth by one so greatly my inferior. Mademoiselle was right. This un- wisheri-forand unloved younger sister was bet- ter away. This was my conviction at eleven or in the pale cheek and aching heart of the fair and innocent girl before me, I might have traced the operations of his vengeance. How well do I remember a certam evening in August I The first dressing-bell had rung. years of age ; and as my mother had never in and all the Rooksley guests had obeyed its sum- her life mentioned to me the existence of her I mons. As I was, of course, excluded by my ten- second child, I had no difficulty in avoiding the subject. Of my father I saw less than ever. As a pub- lic man he was popular and powerful, but at der age from my mother's table, it conveyed no warning to me, and I consequently lingnred in the drawing-room after it was deserted. For a time I amused myself among the costly toys home he was a cipher. No voice had ever been which were scattered in all directions ; but, as raised against Lady Madelaine ; no murmur ^ they were familiar to me, I soon weaned of an low but deep had ever turned toward her the | occupation so devoid of novelty ; and being at- eye of suspicion or the finger of scorn ; but my tracted by an 'unusually brilliant sunset. 1 saun- father was no lass a wretched man. Fortunate tered into a smaller apartment formed in one of indeed was it for him that ambition was the ' the turrets, and known as the octagon-room ; a most powerful principle of his nature; for it place of comparative retreat occasionally sought enabled him to pass by without comment or by those of the company to whom, from some expostulation those thousand small and minute passing cause, the movement and hilarity of the indications of indifierence and supercilious cold- more public reception-room were for a moment ness which characterized the bearing of my distasteful. The large bayed window stood in- inother. He felt that they were touched so vitingly open, and I approached it, and leant out, lightly and so skilfully, that, taken individually, watching the rich and changeful colors of the they would be almost imperceptible to a com- j western skyi unconscious that I was screened mon observer, and that the world could have no from observation by the ample crimson curtain sympathy with such sorrows. He therefore which was drawn partially across the recess, folded them closely in his heart; and, satisfied ' How long I had been thus engaged I know that the very egotism of ray mother's nature not, when I was aware of voices in the adjoin- was his best safeguard against dishonor, endeav- ing apartment, and immediately afterward, of ored to forget, in the vortex of political excite- ' steps approaching the spot on which 1 stood, ment, that he had ever forined dearer visions of My first impulse was to discover myself, but a happiness. , feeling of false shame — a fear of appearing to Many who were acquainted with public men have overheard what had been already said — de- and public measures upwards of half a century terred me; and I drew still farther back behind ago, will have little trouble in deciding the iden- the folds of the damask drapery. Peihaps, had tiiy of my father. another moment been left to me for decision, 1 I have already said that I had attained my might have obeyed the better prompting which eleventh year, i had naturally quick talents, had suggested my first thought, but the hesita- and great powers of observation ; it was con- tion of an instant had rendered this impossible, secjuenlly not wcjnderful that my progress in My heart heat painfully. Accustomed as I had all womanly accomplishments was rapid. My been to mean and unworthy theories, I had masters spoke of mc in flattering terms ; my never yet reduced them to practice ; and I con- mother's guests londled and praised the " show- sequcntly shrank like a coward from the bare child" who relieved their high-bred weariness I semblance of a dishonesty which I had still with her harj) or with her voice ; and forgot ' nerve enough to execute, that the same instinct which awoke in me the The voices became more distinct — theynrere power of combination and exertion in the one those of Miss Vernon and Lord Oilerford. •nstance, was not likely to lie dormant where j Theie was a tender persuasiveness in his tones, my own personal feelings were still more active ' which struck me on the instant. I had heard Hiid acute. ; iiiu) gay, and sententious, and seiitim(?ntal, and Young as I was, I required no prompter to even eloquent; but this was an inflection of point out to me that my mother lived only fori lis voice altogether new to me. They entered admiration, and that among the most devoted .he room — they paused beside the window, just