954 j?,-!|?sf, T2A€> ,|JliJ|| Wi- B 3 351 77S IS50 % ( Sixpence. No.-c^t^.?. i or Ui Cents. LACY'S ACTING EDITION. c^JZ/^AfesC (^e(yj> THOMAS HAILES LACY, THEATRICAL BOOKSELLER, WELLINGTON STREET, STRAND, LONDON; Mitchell, 83, Old Bond Street; Scales, 195, Shoreditch; Birmingham, Guest, J3uZZ 5«ree<; Dublin, Wiseheart, 5u^o|ft Street; Edinburgh, Sutherland, CaZ^on S^ree^; Glasgow, Love, Enoch's Square; Liverpool, Meyrick, Hanover Street ; MANcaESTBR, Heywood, Beansgate; and Leggettj Medlock Street, Hulme, NEW YORK; PERRY, 384, BROADWAY, AlfD (B« OKDER) op All. BOOKSELLERS IS UttGLATiO, THE COLONIES, OE AMERICA. PLANCHE'S HIS TORY OF BRITI SH COSTUME: 2s. KNIGHT'S e^'dY/ion of SHAKESPEARE'S PLAYS, Od. each. Parke's Musical M emoirs, Published a t £i is., reduced to 3s. 6d. THB STAGBf by A. BUNN ; 3 vols, published at £1 lis. 6d., reduced to fs. 6d. LACY'S Second Catalogue of Dramatic Literature, Price One Penny, by Post, 2d. . ouAMAT^^^™iS;^NOi.oGY. 8IX ACTING CHARADES, To the Year 1850, pub. 2s. fid. reduced to 6d. cloth boards, IS, by i'OSt 1.9. ICt. Lately Published, PRINCE CHERRY and PRINCESS FAIR STAR, 6d, THE QUEEN and HER LADIES, a Play, Is, LOVE AND LOYALTY, 3s, 6d. Lacj^'s Aeting Edition of Plays, 6d. eaeh—by post, 7d, Or in Volumes, bound in cloth, at Is. each. Post free. VOLUME 1. Time Tries All Practical Man Soldier's Progress Reigning Favourite Swiss Cottage Ladder of Love 7 Daughter 8 Two Queens 9 How do yoa Manage? 10 Comfortable Service 11 Passing Cloud 12 Creole, or Love's Fetters 13 Novelty Fair 14 Philosopher's Stone 15 Diogenes and his Lantern VOLUME 2. 16 Esmeralda 17 Power and Principle 18 Out on the Loose 19 Poor Cousin Walter 20 Vicar of Wakefield 21 Domestic Economy 22 Daughter of theStars 23 Woodman's Spell 24 Jack in the Green 25 Without Incum- brances [Tower 26 Princesses in the 27 Platonic Attach- ments 28 Born to Good Luck 'O My Wife's Daughter 80 Husband of my Heart VOLUME 3. 31 Serve Him Right 82 I'll be your Second 83 Harlequin Alfred the Great [noghue 34 Harlequin O'Do- 35 Prince Dorus [mere 36 Witch of Winder- 37 Taken in & Done for 38 Rob Roy Macgregor 39 Belphegor 40 La Tarantula 41 All that Glittera is not Gold 42 Odious Capt. Cutter 43 Bombastes Furioso 44 Exposition 45 Alhambra VOLUME 4. 46 Sir Roger deCoverley 47 The Ladies' Battle 48 "Apartments," Visi- tors to the Exhibi- tion, &c. 49 Cheap Excursion 50 Woman's Love 51 Fast Coach 52 Fire Eater [Change 53 Anything for a 54 Grimshaw, Bagshaw, and Bradshaw 55 Tooth-ache '>t) Lady Godiva 57 Angelo I 53 Mary Queen of Scots 59' Left in a Cab 60 Carpenter of Rouen VOLUME 5. 01 Pauline 62 Cool as a Cucumber 63 Hopeless Passion C4 Game of Speculation 65 Thumping Legacy 66 Thetis and Peleus 67 Guardian Angel 68 Two Bonnycastles 69 Counter Attractions 70 I've Eaten myFriend 71 Tender Precautions 72 Harlequin Hogarth 73 Box and Cox 74 Willow- Pattern Plate 75 Organic Affection VOLUME 6. 76 Duel in the Dark 77 Kiss in the Dark 78 Cherry and Fair Star 79 Corsican Brothers 80 Our Clerks [tuses 81 MatrimonialProspec- 82 El Hyder [Hercules 83 Twelve Labours of 84 WhoStolethePocket 85 Wittikind [Book? 86 Lost Husband 87 King of the Alps 88 Ganem 89 Taking by Storm 90 Very Suspicious VOLUME 7. 91 Left the Stage 92 Rose of Ettrick Vale 93 Unw aiTantable In- trusion 94 Binks the Bagman 95 Miller of W^hetstone 96 " Matrimonial," &c. 97 Book the Third, Chapter the First 93 Sink or Swim 99 Writing on the Wall 100 John Dobbs [ness 101 Son of the Wilder- 102 Drunkard [mond 103 Diamond Cut Dia- 104 Gale Breezely 105 Master Passion VOLUME 8. 106 Prima Donna 107 Wanted, 1000 Young Milliners 108 Macbeth Travestie 109 Critic 110 Slasher and Crasher 111 Not a Bad Judge 112 Woman I Adore 113 Box and Cox Mar- ried and Settled 114 Mysterious Lady 115 My Precious Betsy 116 Capital Match 117 House Out of Win- dows 118 Betsy Baker 119 Gotobed Tom 120 Jenkinses VOLUME 9. 121 Phenomenon in a Smock Frock 122 HarlequinHudibras 123 Cherry 124 Loan of a Lover 125 Good Woman in the Wood 128 Leo the Terrible 127 Bold Dragoons 128 'Twas I 129 Where there's a Will there's a Way 130 Gilderoy [Danger 131 Your Life's in 1 32Macbeth(Princess's) 133 Violet 134 Louis XI. [£5 135 To Paris &Back for VOLUME 10. 136 Obstinate Family 137 Civilization, Is. 138 Marco Spada 139 Strange History 140 Raffaelle the Re- probate 141 Buckstone's Ascent of Mount Parnassus 142 Stage Struck 143 Elopements in High Life, Is. 144 Desperate Game 145 Uncle Crotchet 146 Ladies at Home 147 Hamlet Travestie 148 A. S. S. 149 Fast Train [Pail 150 Maid with Milking VOLUME 11. 151 Trying it CD 152 Gold 153 Mob Cat> 154 Laviryers 155 Sardanapalus, Is. 156 Rappings and Table Movings 157 HandsomeHusband 158 Times 159 Shylock [the Tiger 160 P.P., or the Man & 161 Going to Chobham 162 Acis and Galatea 163 My First Fit of the Gout [Lady 164 Locked in with a 165 Somebody Else VOLUME 12. 166 DonCsesardeBazan 167 Chesterfield Thin- skin 168 Fountain of Beauty 109 Hotel Charges [pic 170 Camp at the Olym- 171 Curious Case 172 Midas 173 Little Toddlekins 174 Egyptian, Is. 175 Whitebait atGreen- wich [Business 176 Pretty Piece of 177 Bachelor of Arts 178 Uncle Tom's Cabin 179 Miller of Derwent 180 Pet of the PubUc VOLUME 13. 181 To Parents & Guar- dians [Happy 182 How to make Home 183 Hope of the Family 184 Cure for Love 185 Nice Firm 186 Once Upon a Time There Were Two Kings 187 Lancers 188 First Night 189 Ladies' Club 190 Perfection 191 Plot and Passion 192 Ranelagh 193 Richard the Third ( Princess's) 194 Invasion of Russia 195 Sea of Ice (The) VOLUME 14. 196 Away with Melan- choly [Dinah 197 Willikind and hys 198 Good Run for it 199 No. 1, Round the Corner [Cup 200 Storm in a Tea 201 Jacobite (The) 202 MarriedUn-married 203 Broken Toys 204Louise deLignerolIes 205 Moustache Move- ment [Conjurot 206 'Twould Puzzle • 207 Deaf as a Post 208 To Oblige Benson 209 Follies of a Night 210 Family Jars VOLUME 15. 211 Mr. Buckstone's Voyage Round tho Globe 212 Lord Bateman's Overland Journey 213 Faust and Margue* rite 214 Marble Heart, Is. 215 Knights of tho Round Table, Is. 216 Rent Day (The) 217 Prom Village to Court [the Clouds 218 Sunshine through 219 Waiting for an Om- nibua 220 Courier of Lyons 221 Heads or Tails ? 222 Alcestis, Travestie 223 Old Chateau 224 Eustache 225 As Like as Two ' Peas Four Ounces weight of the above by Post for One Penny. A BLIGHTED BEING, A FARCE, IxV ONE ACT. ADAPTED FROIvI THE FRENCH VAUDEVILLE " UNE EXISTENXE DECOLOREE." BY TOM TAYLOR, ESQ. n Author of a Trip to Kissengen, Diogenes and his Lantern, The Philosopher's Stone, The Vicar of WaJcefield, 1o Parents and Guardians, Our Clerks, Little Red Riding Hood, ^c, 4c-; and one of the Authors of Masks and Faces, Plot and Passion, Slave Life, Two Loves and a Life, The King's Rivals 4'c., 4-c. 4-c. THOMAS HAILES LACY, WELLINGTON STREET, STRAND, LONDON. A BLIGHTED BEING. Originally produced at the Royal Olympic Theatre, on Monday^ October I6th, 1854. CHARAeJERS. Job Wort MR. F. ROBSON. Ned Spanker MR. H. LESLIE. CuMMixG MR. H. COOPER. 1'haddeus O'Rafferty {an Irish Ai)othecary) MR. DANVERS. Susan Spanker MISS E. TURNER COSTUMES. Job Wort — A suit of grey tweed, modem cut ; a dark red stripe down the trousers; Byron collar; black wig witii long hair. Ned Spanker — Blue frock coat, with brass buttons ; blue trousers and waistcoat ; a waterproof over-coat and shiny cap. Cimimiug — Suit of black, and white cravat ; shoes. 0"Rqferty—\st dress : Shabby morning gown and slippers; 2nd dress : Seedy black coat and fancy tweed trousers ; straggling head of hair. Szcsan Spanker ^^ilk dress of dark colour ; silk apron ; mart cap. Scene— A SEA-SIDE WATERING PLACE. Time—the PRESENT DAY. THme of Representation — 44 Minutes. A BLIGHTED BEING. Scene. — (^A>i enclosed one) — T/ie coffee-room of a coast hotel in the %rd grooves. Two vdndoics painted in flat. Side flat L., icith practicable door. Side flat k., with painted icindoio and practicable door. In centre of bach, between the 7cindo2i:s, a sideboard furnished with the requisites of a coffee-room — glasses, §x. On L.H., at back, a table {covered) tcitk pens, ink, jmper, envelopes, ^c. A chair behind the table. On E.H., at hack, a table loith tchite table-cloth, knives and forks laid, and a chair on each side of table. In centre of stage a larger table, with ichite tahle-chth, knife, fork, salt^ Sfc, laid on it {on R.H.). chairs R. and L. of table. A carpet doicn on stage. Enter Ned Spanker, l.d., sheicn in by Gumming, with a carpet bag or valise (Spanker is dressed rather rouglihj,^ half sailor fashion, hale, and bronzed, with a large pair of whiskers meeting under his chin. Gumming. {ciuicUy, and flourishing his napkin) Eoom, sir? Yez, sir; this way, sir. Breakfast, sir? Srimps, sir? Yez, sir. Spanker. Just clap a stopper on your jaw, my man — I tell you I want to see Miss Spanker. Cum. Yez, sir, that's me, sir. Span. You ? Cum. That is for gents, sir. Missus receives the married parties and the ladies. I receive the gents, sir ; it's missus's order, sir. Span. But I'm not a gent — and I want to see Miss Spanker herself. 264 4 A BLIGHTED BEING. Cum. Yez, sir. Certainly, sir. "What would you please to take, sir ? Span. The liberty of looking for her myself, if you won't shew me the way {crossing to k,h.) Cum. Beg parding, sir, but I've my orders. You see missus is a young person, new to business, sir ; we've such a many queer customers here, sometimes, sir — no offence, sir ! If it had been old missus, sir, I'd have shewn you to her with pleasure, sir ; but old missus is dead, sir (l.). Span, (u.) I know, I know. Cum. Oh, you know, sir — yes, sir ! and you see, sir, a young person, sir, like missus, is nat'rally timid; and gents, sir, they likes their fun, sir. Span. And Miss Spanker doesn't like it — eh ? Cum. Exactly, sir —you're up to it, I see, sir. So when old missus died, and young missus came into the 'ouse, sir, and the business, finding me on the premises, sir, why, nat'rally, she trusts a good deal to me, sir, as a protection, sir. Span. You a protection ! Poor Susan ! However, I'll soon set that all to rights. Cum. You, sir ! Beg parding, but — Susan, {tvitlioiit, r.J).) Cumming! Cum. Coming, miss! That's me, sir; I'm Cumming, sir. I must be going, sir. Span. Hold on, I tell you; I'm — (with his back to fi.H.) Enter Susan impatiently, r.d. Susan. How often am I to call, Cumming ? Span, {turning round) Suzy ! Susan, {with a scream of pleased surprise) Ned ! dear Ned ! {rushes into his arms) Cum. (l.) Well ! Span, (c.) Didn't expect me, Suzy darling! The steamer's just in at Southampton. I've a week's leave, and I thought I couldn't spend it better than with you. Cum. (l.) Well! Susan, (r.) Oh, T am so glad to see you ! Get a room ready for my brother, Cumming — it's my brother. Cum. Oh, yes, miss ; directly, miss. Susan. This is Cumming, Ned ; he's the waiter, and so attentive ; I don't know what I should have done when poor aunt died and left the house on my shoulders if it hadn't been for Cumming. A BLIGHTED BEING. 5 Span. Tip us your fist, old boy; and I'm mucli obliged to you. By Jove, Suzy, he guards you like a blockade ship ! "Wouldn't let me see yoa just now ! Cum. Beg- parding, I'm sure, sir ; but not knowing you were missus's brother — Span. You were quite right, old boy; I. know what an hotel is, at a watering place, with a pretty girl in the bar. Susan. But go and see the best room gut ready directive Gumming. Cum. Yes, miss ; directly, miss. Take your bag, sir ? Hope no offence, sir 1 Took you for a gent, sir ! {crosses hehind to b.h.) Exit CuMMixG, R.H.D., taViiUj carpet hag, then re-eider^ crosses at back, and exit, l.d. Susan. Oh, Ned ! I'm so glad you've come at last. Good gracious I why it's two years since you've been at home. Span. Yes; and I've been round the world in the time, Suzy. But now I've got a capital berth with the Peninsu- lar and Oriental, and I shall be able to run down on you every six months or so, between our trips. Susan. Every six months or so ! Oh, dear ! that's a long time to wait, and I feel so lonely and strange some- times, Ned ; you've no idea what a poor girl's difficulties are, managing an hotel at a watering-place. Span. I can fancy 'em, Sue, with no protector but a waiter. But we must find you a better — that's all. Susan. Oh, Ned, if you'd only come and set up here as a surgeon. Span. Xo, no ; people don't come to the sea-side to be doctored, but to escape the doctors. I should starve ; besides, I like fresh air and a roving life. Susan. And never think of your poor little Susan left all alone here. Span. She sha'n't be left alone any longer. I'll find her a husband, and as I've only a week to do it in, the sooner I begin the better. SuSAM. Oh, nonsense, Ned, you sailors are such tearing, hasty fellows. Span. Perhaps you can help me; come, is there anybody you've a fancy tor ? Susan. Oh, how can you ask me such a ridiculous ques- tion } 6 A BLIGHTED BEING. Span. Is there anybody has a fancy for you } Susan. Oh ! — well — no — really — Ned — Span. Out with it ! Susan. There was Mr. OTtafFerty, the Surgeon and Apothecary, in the High Street. He did, once, rather — but then he's so hasty, and, besides, they say he's dreadfully wild ; and then I really don't think I care a bit about him. Spn. Anybody else } Susan. Well, there is a young man — Span. I thought there must be. Heave ahead ! Susan. A most amiable young man, and so unhappy, and so fond of poetry ! Oh, you've no idea. He writes quantities of such melancholy verses, and reads them all to me, and they make me cry so yon can't think, ^.nd then he cries too. Span. Pleasant style of messmate, I should think. And hov/ long have you known this lively party? Susan. About sis weeks ; he came here to spend the day. Span. And he has taken six weeks to spend it in ! If he makes his money go as far as his time, he'll be an eco- nomical husband ; and I suppose all this six weeks he has been making love to you, eh } Susan. Making love ? oh no, making verses ! Span. But what's his business } Susan. He says he's a " Blighted Being." Span. Hang it! that's not a business ; but I must look after this gentleman, for if he is playing the fool with you — Susan. Oh, I assure you nothing can be more respectful. Enter Gumming, l. d., loitli newspapers, iclucli lie ■puts on c. table. Cum. The papers, Miss, from London. And there's a party by the train as wants apartments — a lady and gentle- man, Miss, looks married, and has lots of luggage. Susan. Very well. I'll wait on them. I shall be back directly, Ned, {crosses to l.) SfAN. Meantime I'll overhaul this verse-making chap. Susan, (l.) Is Mr. Wort in the house, Gumming 1 Cum. {at hack, busying Idmself at sideboard) Not at pre- sent, Miss ; {coming for to ard, c.) he received a letter on bu- siness this morning, and he's walked down to consult Mr. A BLIGHTED BEING. iy Bran — that's the attorney, sir — he ordered breakfast asrin he come back, sir — sriraps and a muffing-. Span, (r.) Very well. Run away, Suzy, and I'll take a spell at the Times till he heaves in sight, (taking up ■paper') Susan, (l.) But mind, Ned, don't breathe a syllable of what I've told vou, because he's never said a word about love to me, and I've never said a word to him, and you sailors are so rash — Span, (kissing her) Never fear, Suzy — I'll be as cautious as a North Sea pilot. Exit Susan, followed hy Gumming, l. d. Span, (goes up to table hy R. windovj and sits, looking at paper) Holloa! here's the last news from the Baltic! Confound those Rooskiaas / won't come out of their holes, and have a stand up fight, like men. Enter Job Wort, l. d. Job. (sigks) It's too bad ! The attornies are like all the rest of the species — can't comprehend moral sufferings — ain't up to "The stinging of a heart the world has stung." I've tried to make that hard headed lawyer understand my position as a wretch. He charges me 6s. 8d. as a client. When I painted my sufferings as a human being, he asked me if I'd tried " Gregory's powder !" Disgusting ! Span. (r. looking up fro.n the paper) Eh ! I know that voice ! Why — yes — of course it is — the very man — Job ! [rises and comes fonoard r.) Job. (l. c.) Who is it that addresses me by that detested monosyllable ? Span. (r. c.) Why, Job Wort, don't you remember Ned Spanker ? Job. (starts, examines kis face, then shaJces his hands) My mind has been the abode of so much misery since I heard that name — Span. Your old chum in Gower-street, man — when you were digging up Latin roots at the college, and I was studying anatomy. Job. Ah ! that was eight years ago. A waste of wretch- edness lies between then and now ; but I remember your being plucked, and how drunk we got together on that me- lancholy occasion. 8 k BLIGHTED BEING. Span; "What a spree we had that night ! Job. And what a headache I had the next morning ! Span. But what the deuce has come over you ? You were a jolly fellow enough in those days. Job. Yes, life smiled upon me then — I had not tasted the fruits of the Dead Sea, and found them ashes on my lip? ! — I have lived on those fruits ever since. Span. Uncommon dry eating, 1 should think! But what have you been about since w^e parted ? I — to try my fortune as a surgeon on board an emigrant ship — and you — Joe. To enter my uncle's brewery, at Little Pedlington, as a clerk, with the prospect of a partnership. — Ha ! ha I ha ! la clerk in a provincial brewery, with my literary as- pirations — my deep susceptibilities! Oh ! how bitter was the bread I earned — how bitter was the beer I brewed ! Span. Well, that's a recommendation for the India trade, you know. Job. I allude to its moral bitterness. Speaking as a brewer, I believe it was insipid. My uncle soon found out that I was not worth my salt, as he coarsely expressed it, and I cut Little Pedlington and the mash tub for London and literature. Span. I should have stuck to the tap. Job. I dare say you would, (crosses to r.) But I felt within me thoughts that " the world," I fancied, " would not wiUingly let die," and I determined to give them to the world. Sir — the world wouldn't have em — that is, the block- head editors and the sordid publishers would not give me a rap for the verses that flowed from me like a lava flood, hot from the volcano of the heart. Span. (r. c.) Perhaps they were afraid it might set the shop on fire. Paper's a very combustible cargo. Job. (R. c.) Luckily I had enough to live upon without their aid, so I determined to be my own pubhsher. I brought out my antediluvian epic in sixteen books. It fell dead from the press. Span. I hope it didn't hurt anybody. Job. Sir, if 'my sufferings are to be made the subject of coarse jokes, I will not trouble you with them further. I thought I had found a friend. It is one more added to the catalogue of deceptions! (crosses behind Spanker to L.) A BLIGHTED BEING. 9 Span. (r. c.) No, no, old fellow. I feel for you — in- deed I do. Heave ahead ! Job. (l. c.) T tried the stage — Ha! ha! ha! Poor fool that I «^as — I tried the stage, sir ! Span. And was damn'd — eh ? Job. No, sir, I wasn't daran'd. The low hirelinirs, who have the ears of the idiotic managers nowadays, took good care tliat mv tragedies should not find their wav to the public. My wori