>3 fe, i ROUND ABOUT RIO. BY FRANK ? CHICAGO : JANSEN, McCLURG & COMPANY. 1884. F2.S2)? COPYRIGHT, BY JANSEN, McCLURG & CO. 1883. I KKIGHT &. LEONARD . 35- icrott Li CONTENTS. I. GETTING TO A NUNNERY 5 II. THE SMITH FAMILY AND ROBINSON 17 III. THE BLACK PRINCE 24 IV. STIFF-NECKED HEATHEN - 39 V. PEDRO'S PENCE - 47 VI. SLIPPER AND SANDAL 58 VII. BOHEMIA 72 VIII. WEST END ARCHITECTURE - 84 IX. DOWN THE ALLEY OF PALMS - - 94 X. THE LIVERY OF THE SUN - 105 XL AFTERNOON SERVICE - - 120 XII. PLACE AUX DAMES - 134 XIII. THE STREET OF THE ORANGE TREES - 144 XIV. THE LAST OF THE MEGATHERIUMS - 157 XV. ON CORCOVADO - 162 XVI. SEEING THE CITY 174 XVII. ENTOMOLOGY - 190 XVIII. THE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER - 203 XIX. HOME, SWEET HOME - 215 XX. BRAZILIAN POLITENESS - 230 CONTENTS. XXI. HAIL TO THE CHIEF 240 XXII. OUR LADY OF THE ROCK - - 256 XXIII. ON THE HEIGHTS - 269 XXIV. VANITY FAIR - - 285 XXV. CHESTER SPECULATES - 299 XXVI. LET'S TALK OF GRAVES - 317 XXVII. ROUGHING IT - 328 XXVIII. THERESOPOLIS - - 339 XXIX. PRIEST AND PEDAGOGUE 348 XXX. MOUNTAINEERING - 363 XXXI. THE VALLEY AND SHADOW - 373 XXXII. BLANKETS AND ACONITE - - 382 XXXIII. THE BOY NURSE - 394 XXXIV. LOVE LIES BLEEDING - 404 XXXV. ORANGE BUDS .... 410 ROUND ABOUT RIO. i. GETTING TO A NUNNERY. One seldom finds in Italy a spot of ground more agreeable than another that is not covered with a convent. ADDISON. T No, it is a convent," answered the old sea captain, in response to the questions of his little group of passengers, as they were slowly steaming into the harbor of Eio de Janeiro on a very fair morn- ing in June. They were looking at something white which crowned the extreme point of the mountain behind the city. " Ah-ha!" muttered the young man of the party, withdrawing from the circle, and beginning to disfig- ure a page of his diary with a slashing sketch of the view in question. The young lady of the party put her finger to her lip, enjoining silence, and softly stepped behind him. This was what she read underneath the picture: " South side of this nun's-nest, perpendicular rock. A thousand feet high, or more. Points straight to Heaven, like a sinner's prayer. No show to get up there. North slope more favorable. Steep, but not 6 ROUND ABOUT RIO. too steep for the legs of true chivalry. Covered with green. Look out for snakes. Convent is of white marble apparently. Think I can make out a window. A damsel appears. She reaches forth her hands as if in distress. She is a prisoner. Her hair is dishev- elled. Her eyes are red with weeping. Patience, fair lady, yet another day. I come, I come." "I wouldn't make any rash promises, Henry," said the practical young lady behind him. "I wouldn't specify the date. You know you haven't got through the custom house yet." "Oh, Stacy, Stacy ! How can you be so cold and soulless as to talk of custom houses and convents in the same breath ? And now you have interrupted this fine flow of feeling, and all the inspiration is gone. Oh, I'll pay you for this yet. I'll I'll introduce the price of coffee into our next moonlight talk." " Do. It would be a welcome change. But now give me your arm and let's walk around our old promenade once more. " I wish to talk to you," she continued. " I wish to tell you that you are making yourself supremely ridiculous with this nonsense. You have been read- ing 'Don Juan' no, don't deny it and your head is full of stuff about convents, and nuns, and foreign ladies. / have been reading my guide-book and my history of Brazil and a missionary pamphlet, and I know all about these things. Charming young ladies don't go to convents now-a-days ; they get married. Or, if they do go to convents it's because they're dying for some young man they can't get; and do you think one of those broken-hearted creatures GETTING TO A NUNNERY. would smile upon an overgrown foreigner like you, that weighs a hundred and eighty pounds ? No, in- deed, Mr. Robinson." Stacy paused, and Robinson groaned. " Go on," said he. " Dash the rest of my visions to the ground." " The women in a convent are old and thin. They live on bread and water, and get up at four o'clock in the morning, and snuffle when they talk." "I believe I catch your idea. They say, k Go away, you bad man! ' ' " And now about those young lady Brazilians. In the course of our voyage down here I have heard you pleasantly allude several times to the possibility of captivating the heiress of a coffee-plantation, or some- thing of that sort. Of course you can do as you please. I don't care. But I guess you would re- pent it soon enough, and find out that a foreign wife was not all that your fancy has painted her. " "What a delightful little tyrant you are, Stacy," said Robinson, turning to look her in the face. "And how prettily you can scold when you take a notion!" "I do not scold; I advise. I am not a tyrant; merely a friend of your sister's." " Oh, don't misunderstand me. I am not com- plaining. I rather like that kind of bondage. Op- press me some more, will you ? " She leaned a pound or two more of her weight upon his arm, and they drew near a ladder, at whose foot a small boat was discharging its passengers. "Here arevthe custom-house officers," cried the ROUND ABOUT RIO. girl. " What a handsome fellow their chief is! And so polite ! I wish he was the one .who had to examine my trunks. I know he wouldn't be : tfude to them. What an air, and how neat those narrow black neck-ties are! Mr. Robinson, I do wish that you would cultivate a foreign air." " O Stacy, Stacy ! " he groaned; "have we brought you all this distance to fall in love with a custom- house clerk? " "Not yet, of course not. But then the possibility does not seem very dreadful to think of," she added, naively. "I wonder which he is, a count or a baron ? " " Be not deceived, Stacy. At the highest estima- tion these fellows are not more than remote cousins and nephews of the nobility. The reason they flock to us in so great numbers is because they are sure of getting a good breakfast here." "Well, you must admit that these gentlemen are nice, any way. Just look at our fellow-passenger from Bahia. He is reading Les Miser ables in the original, so he must be cultivated. I wish my French was better. I would say good-morning to him. You have noticed him, haven't you ? " "Noticed him ? Yes I have noticed this gentle- manly person at dinner make every other course out of tooth-picks palitos, he calls them. If you will be so kind as to make the necessary observations you will probably notice a tooth-pick at rest over his left ear at the present moment." "That is a national peculiarity. All nations have their peculiarities. The especial weakness of our GETTING TO A NUNNERY. 9 young men is a habit of wearing all kinds of hats. Besides, our young men are so dreadfully jealous on the pl'ghtest provocation." Then she gave her companion no time to reply, but hurried him away to where her father and brother were standing. "Papa," said she, u let me have your glass, please. And if ever you see Mr. Robinson taking a walk to that mountain with a guitar under his arm, bring him back immediately, or he will make him- self ridiculous." The ship's doctor, who throughout the voyage had been observed to take an undue interest in this young lady's health, now came forward with the intent of making himself useful. "Is it the Corcovado that you are speaking of? The one with the white wall around the top ? " "A white wall ? " repeated Robinson, disdainfully. "No, a convent." "I beg your pardon, sir," said the surgeon. " But where did you get that information 3 " "From the captain," answered Robinson. "He ought to know." The surgeon lowered his voice. " I thought as much. It's another of the skipper's romances. He has a playful fancy, and he is so tied down to fact and figures out at sea that he loses no opportunity to let his imagination go ashore and sport about. He is not to be relied on at a distance of half a mile from salt water; and that is a good mile and a half from here." "And it is not a convent?" Robinson was dis- appointed. 10 ROUND ABOUT RIO. 1 1 No. It is a parapet built around the mountain- top, to keep the people from falling off." "And those marble walls?" 41 They are whitewashed. It looks just as well, though, at this distance." "And the fair damsel " "I guess that's me," said Stacy, demurely. " But you must go up there," continued the sur- geon. "Everybody goes up there. You see the city from the bay here and think it is perfectly lovely. And so it is from a distance and it will be wise for you to go at once to Corcovado, and, so to speak, clinch the favorable impression before you see much of the dirt and discord of the streets. Everybody goes to Corcovado, and for their con- venience the paternal government of the empire has constructed a fine highway to the summit, and built a wall of protection around the top. All of the sub- urbs of Rio are one grand park, and Corcovado is its belvedere." "What did you say Corcovado means? Bel what?" inquired the boy of the party. He was get- ting his first rudiments of his first foreign language. "Oh, no; Corcovado means The Humpback, Chester." "But it's not a Humpback ; it's a Fullback. See, sis ! Look at it!" cried the boy. clapping his hands in the ecstasy of discovery. "Be still, Chester ; don't be a barbarian. I saw it long ago, but I was not brave enough to say so. I'm glad that you have come to my support." " O Stacy, Stacy! " groaned Robinson. "What a GETTING TO A NUNNERY. 11 trivial mind is yours ! Others have seen The Sleep- ing Giant, The Church Organ, The Ship tinder Sail, The Two Brothers, and The Padre's Hat, in these magnificent piles of mountains around us; but it was reserved for your intellect, feminine that it is, to trace the shape of a lady's dress there and of the latest fashion, too. I verily believe that if you were cast away upon some lone island of the sea you would find a parasol in the tree-fern, false hair in the tree- moss, diamonds in the fire-flies, and striped stock- ings in the jaguar's skin." "Miss Smith is right," said the Doctor, coming to her assistance. "It requires no powerful imagina- tion to see this freak of nature. Others have noticed it before ; and from the hills beyond, from the Chi- nese View, as they call it, the illusion is still more perfect." 44 It is there, as plain as day," persisted Stacy. 4 4 Or a shop- window, ' ' continued Robinson. * 4 Sure enough, I see it now. Straight up and down in front, and sloping elegantly away to the rear. This proves that this mountain can't be very hard to climb, for at my last ball I walked right up the back of a lady's dress that was a good deal steeper than this, and without the slightest effort on my part. Oh, this must be a very easy mountain to climb." "I think," pursued Stacy, musingly, u that I will write home to a friend of mine who knows a lady who edits a fashion magazine, and she can get her to start the Corcovado skirt. It would be all the rage, I know." 44 Do, my child," said Mr. Smith, patting her 12 ROUND ABOUT RIO. head, u and a nation of husbands and fathers will shower blessings upon you. Anything to relieve this terrible dearth of new styles in millinery." "I think," continued this artistic young lady, " that to be truly natural it ought to be a green robe, like this, and with flecks of white, as we see here. I suppose that is green grass with daisies, isn't it, Doctor?" "No, Miss Smith. The verdure of that mountain is of the tallest palm and most luxuriant jungle, and it is dappled with trees of white blossom." " Are there any monkeys there ?" asked the boy, eagerly. "Monkeys, scarce. Parrots, plenty." "Thank you. ~No more parrots for me. The steward has a parrot," and in proof of his statement he exhibited a triangular gash in his right index finger. "The parrot is not an amiable bird. I say, Doctor, did you ever hear the story about tlie par- rot and the monkey?" " Ches-ter/" said his sister, severely. "I don't care ; it had a moral to it, but I won't tell it now if you ask me to," sulked the boy. Robinson was looking gloomily across the water. His eyes saw the glories of rock and forest and villa before him, but his soul refused to consider them. There was an expression on his face that was by no means a reflection of the morning sunlight on the mountains ; it was rather the vacant and unapprecia- tive stare of one who has missed his breakfast in his eagerness to see all of the vaunted beauties of the harbor of Rio de Janeiro. GETTING TO A NUNNERY. 13 " He can't forget the convent ; that's what makes him look so glum," suggested the irrepressible boy, in a whisper. " As for convents," said the Doctor, " there are convents right in the city, with street cars at their doors; but if you go to serenade there you will be taken for an Italian mendicant, grinding for charity." " And the nuns?" asked Kobinson. u Well, it must be confessed that they are rather along in years. It has been some time now since they were forbidden to receive recruits, by some kind of a decree issued by somebody " It must have been a nuncio," interposed Robin- son, putting the truth in jeopardy for the sake of a pun. There was a momentary lull in the conversation, and a deeper solemnity fell upon the party as they endeavored to understand the joke. As no one suc- ceeded, the Doctor resumed: "The consequence is that the present inmates are past the age of romance, and the convents themselves are becoming slowly depopulated as these good souls die off." "Alas, alas !" murmured Robinson. "But there was a time when the convent was a scene of romance, incarceration, and tears, with an unbounded supply of gratitude for the knight who should come to deliver the fair lady from prison." "And that w as " " When jealous husbands were going to spend the summer in Europe, they would take their young and pretty wives to the convent, and, in polite Ian- ROUND ABOUT RIO. guage, secure apartments for them until their re- turn." " Which means that while these far-seeing gentle- men were larking around Paris their cherished con- sorts were languishing in the dungeon," explained Robinson. "And was there no chivalric spirit to rescue them? Oh, why didn't I take an earlier steamer? " " Still, that system was not altogether without its advantages," said, the practical Mr. Smith, slowly and cautiously, as if aware that he was on dangerous ground. 4 ' Papa ! If you dare to talk that way ! ' ' threat- ened his daughter, "I'll write to mamma." The valiant colonel retreated. " Oh, of course, I didn't mean that. Your mother is a remarkable woman, my dear. I wish she was here now, to take care of you." "Thank you. papa, for your kind solicitude, but Pauline will take care of me, won't you, my pre- cious? I don't care much if papa does forget me, and Mr. Robinson laughs at me, and Chester tor- ments me, as long as I have you to love me." "Stacy, we all love you, I am sure," answered her little sister. "And I think Rob does, too," she added, confidentially. Stacy frowned, blushed, and then lifted her shoul- ders in the true Portuguese style of disapproval. Robinson observed this shrug, more^ eloquent than words. " Speak for yourself, Paul," he said. Pauline looked mystified and grieved ; she feared GETTING TO' A NUNNERY. 15 that she had not been discreet in this little speech of hers, though in what her error consisted she was too young and unpractised to know. She was a shy and silent child of seven, with a habit of stealing out of the way, so that she will probably be overlooked throughout a large part of this history. ISTow she turns to the vessel's side, and leaning upon the railing, with her cheeks buried in her hands, she attentively considers the black rowers in the boat below. They, looking up, see a very pretty and refined child's face, blonde, surrounded by a flurry of hair to match. They lift their hats in reverence and admiration. Accustomed as they are to the dusky brunette chil- dren of their country, they take this radiant stranger for a superior being, perhaps of a celestial order. Pauline is surprised at these tokens of homage, but she responds with graceful bends of the head, and would like to smile if she were sure it was the proper thing to do. Let us not be astonished at this instance of mis- placed adoration. In appearance Pauline was infi- nitely the superior of those insipid and homely wax figures which fill the niches of the Rio churches. Besides, her clothes were in good taste and fitted her, which is more than can be said of the apparel of the canonized figures that wear long hair and gar- ments that are a quarter of a century out of date. "See what I've found!" cried Chester, who had been turning the leaves of a book of travels in Bra- zil. "Rob, it makes me ashamed of you. Here you've only been up from five o'clock till nine, gaz- 16 ROUND ABOUT RIO. ing at the beauties of nature, and you're already disgruntled." "Not disgruntled, whatever that means; only satiated. But what have you found ? " Chester read as follows : "More than one have had to confess that their first twenty-four hours before Rio have been spent in a perpendicular position with the eyes wide open." " Now I wouldn't like to believe that if a preacher hadn't written it," added the boy. "I believe he also compliments the odoriferous breezes of this bay, doesn't he ?" Robinson's nose worked in disgust, as the sicken- ing smells from the fish-market and sewer-mouths floated across the water. Chester continued to read : "When the land-breeze began to blow, the rich odor of the orange and other perfumed flowers was borne seaward along with it, and, by rne at least, enjoyed the more from having been so long shut out from the companionship of flowers. Ceylon has been celebrated by voyagers for its spicy odors ; but I have twice made its shores, with a land-breeze blowing, without experiencing anything half so sweet as those which greeted my arrival at Rio." "Doctor," asked the simple-hearted Pauline, "why don't travellers tell the truth?" II. THE SMITH FAMILY AND ROBINSON. Who was her father? Who was her mother? HOOD. SINCE there are many readers whose refined tastes will rise up in just indignation at the idea of making the acquaintance of such ordinary people as the Smiths and Robinsons of this world must be, it is to be regretted that the leading characters of this history should have been endowed with the name of Smith, and that they should be supported by a young man encumbered with the name of Robinson. Per- haps, however, the evil has been modified by pre- senting them singly and by degrees, instead of copy- ing their passport descriptions upon the opening page, thus administering too sudden a shock to that large and growing class of American people who make it their glory that it was not their fathers, but their grandfathers, and, in some rare and illustrious instances, their great-grandfathers, who built up a fortune and position upon the narrow basis of a retail trade or a daily labor. It is now time, however, that, while making what defence of them he can, the writer should frankly confess that he knows nothing of the antecedents of these good folks, and so cannot afford to stand spon- sor to them to any great extent. They seemed to be sensible people, as the Smiths did not spell their 17 18 ROUND ABOUT RIO. name with a y and a final ong^ says I, which means 'That's a good scheme.' 'And then,' says he, 'I shall send word around to the English Minister to have you transferred to another station.' He thought I was a member of the British Legation." " Chester," said Stacy, in an awful voice, " I don't believe a word that you are saying. ' ' "That's what I'm going to say, anyway, if the old fellow does come down on me. I've got it all made up beforehand. They say they do ask a man's intentions here the first time he looks at a girl." "I don't like to appear to be meddling in my family's intimate affairs," observed the Colonel, "but I would like to know what is the reason that PLAGE AUX DAMES. my son keeps his hair combed nowadays and puts on a clean collar for dinner." " It's a young lady of twelve over here," said Rob- inson, " who divides her attentions between him and her doll, sadly, I fear, to the neglect of her parents and piano-lesson. I have seen her. I never could understand before how Romeo's Juliet could have been but fourteen years of age. I understand it now. We went down the Street of the Orange Trees yes- terday, and Chester's Balbinda was dandling a wax doll on the window-sill as we approached. But when she caught sight of this boy she forgot the doll entirely and opened the most flagrant flirtation with him. I cannot imagine a more incongruous spectacle than this. Her hand, drooping down from the window, still grappled by one heel the unhappy waxen image, which was dangling head foremost, and with its flounces all down under its arms. Mean- while her lips were curving in the pleasantest of smiles for this beggar of ours, and the way those velvet eyes of hers made signs to him almost made me envy him, and I don't care much for those things either. It was as if she were pelting him with rose- petals. It was Juliet in all of her precocity, her wealth of affection, and her premature womanhood of form and nature. She must have something to love, and the doll answered very well until Ches- ter came along. Take an American girl of the same age; she is lank, homely, undeveloped, climbs fences, goes in swimming, and hates the boys as she does the multiplication table." " And do you mean to say that the American torn- 142 ROUND ABOUT RIO. boy is going to turn out better than Chester's Bal- binda? " asked the Colonel. " I do. For these reasons : These are Balbinda's brightest days. Henceforward her life will be largely made up of dissatisfaction and disappoint- ment. About at this age she begins to grow anxious ' to be possessed of double pomp, To guard a title that was rich before, To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, To throw a perfume on the violet,' and ruins her face with applications of purpurine, veloutine, camellia cream, and so forth. By this time also she has probably finished her superficial little education of French and piano, and her intel- lect is laid by to rest. Some of these days a husband will come to rescue her from her prison-home ; but since they marry on a very short acquaintance and no courtship at all, the alliance resting principally upon a business basis, they will soon find out that they do not like each other as much as they thought they did. He will neglect her, leave her at home while he goes abroad, and in other ways maltreat her, and she will nurse her grievances until the hard lines form around her mouth and all of the kind expression dies out of her face." " What a picture! " said Stacy, shuddering. "I'm so glad I'm an American. It's such a relief to find out that you don't like a man before you get married to him." "We'll take you as a type of the American girl, Stacy, as Balbinda was of the Brazilian, and cast PLACE AUX DAMES. 143 your horoscope. Now you will probably marry some man whom you adore " Stacy shrugged her shoulders. "The prospects are very few yet." " You will always have a happy home, and that is the best preservative of all for a woman's beauty. You will never finish your education, but will con- tinue to read and study and think, and that will keep your intellect sprightly. And you have the best form of religion in the world, which, besides giving you something good to think about, is constantly leading you into some benevolent good Samaritan business and keeping your sympathies aroused. Why, Stacy, as I see you, in the distant future, you are such a beautiful and benign old lady that I can hardly believe it is yourself. Allow me to renew my sentiment. Here's to Stacy Smith as she will be thirty or forty years from now." " Tiger r r! Make it fifty ! " cried Chester. XIII. THE STREET OF THE ORANGE TREES. whistle, and I'll come to you, my lad, O whistle, and I'll come to you, my lad ; Tho' father and mither and a' should gae mad, whistle, and I'll come to you, my lad. BURNS. IT may be wondered how Chester learned that his maid of the Orange Trees was named JBalbinda. It happened in this wise : It was the lad's custom to take frequent walks about the city, and when that useful functionary, Bemvindo, was available, he would borrow him as a guide and cicerone. On one of these excursions they went up the Street of the Orange Trees. It was afternoon, and Chester knew that a certain window would be in the shade at this hour, and felt almost equally confident that a certain young lady would be in the win,dow. He was not mistaken. She was there, in her pink and white apparel, prettier than ever, and, as he approached, the pink of her jacket seemed to cast a deeper tinge upon her peachy cheeks. Entirely over- looking the trim and graceful Bemvindo, she smiled upon the blonde Chester alone. He now felt that the hour had come. " Bemvindo!" he said, "come over on this side. Now, when we go under the window, say something nice for me. Tell her I like her." 144 THE STREET OF THE ORANGE TREES. 145 " Yer' good," replied Bemvindo; and when he was so close that her drooping hand almost brushed his shoulder, he addressed her. " Vd aprender a coser ! " (Go and learn to sew.) ^Acho bom," she replied, carrying her head saucily and pouting her lips into a delicious little rosebud. "What did she say ? " eagerly whispered Chester, the moment they were past. " She say she fin' it ver' good. She like-a that. Firs'-class. Bully." "You 're a brick, Beng! Come and take some cream somewhere." After Chester had cooled himself down to business temperature, he suggested a return by the same route. "Now, Bemvindo, ask her what her name is," said he. " If I am going to write to her, I must know how to address my letters." His friend obeyed. "Como" But he was interrupted by a shrill voice from within : 4 ' Balbinda, ! Vem ca ! Sake desta maldita ja- netta!" " Hark from the tombs ! " said Chester. " What a mother-in-law she will make ! It 's time to go home ! Come ! " "Her name ees Balbinda," said Bemvindo, when they were safely around the corner. ' ' Yes, I had a sort of an idea it was. And what else did the old lady say? " "She say, 'Balbinda! Come-a here! Go from ze ' ah como se diz 'maldita ' f " 10 146 ROUND ABOUT RIO. " Make it ' damn,' " said Chester. " It's a word sometimes used in the States." " Yer' good. She say, i Go from ze damn win- dow.'" " Let's sit down here," said Chester, as they came to the inviting shade of a mango-tree. A stone bench was there. The boys seated them- selves, and Chester, producing a lead pencil and a scrap of paper, began chewing the end of the former in the abstraction of one who is exercising his brain in search of poetic thought. "See here, Beng," he said, in despair, "do you know anything about writing poetry ? " Bemvindo modestly replied that his education had been neglected. "I thought all you Brazilians made verses." Bemvindo offered himself in contradiction to that popular opinion. " But, any way, you can tell me a good rhyme for Balbinda, can't you ? " Bemvindo did not know the meaning of the word "rhyme." "What word sounds like 'Balbinda'? What word would look well with it ? " "I sink 'Bemvindo' ees a good word," suggested the artless and illiterate youth. " Oh, get out ! I suspect you are trying to play a joke on me, Beng. Now, think. There's 'binda,' < dinda, ' ' finda, ' < flinda, ' ' hinda, ' ' linda, ' " "I sink 'linda' ees a good word," said his col- laborator. "What does it mean?" THE STREET OF THE ORANGE TREES. 147 "It means l pretty ', like-a Mees Stacy. She ees muita linda" "Just what I want, exactly. Now, here goes." And in the frenzy of success the boy began to write: My linda Balbinda, Come back to the window. Your Chester Can't rest, or Can't sleep "But I say, Beng, this is English, and of course she can't read English." This youth of fertile resource thought it would be a good plan to send a dictionary along with the note. "No," said Chester, "that wouldn't be the proper idea at all. I never heard of such a thing." Then, he suggested, she might get her mother to read it for her. "No, no, we don't want any mothers in this busi- ness." Her father, then. "Worse, and more of it. I guess I'll have to give it up for to-day, Bemvindo. I'll wait a week or two and write it in Portuguese. We'll go home, now. Stop that car, Beng." Bemvindo hailed the passing street-car. " P-s-s-s-sio! " he said. The driver understood him and reined up. "Bemvindo, how did you make that noise?" asked Chester. "I want to learn it." But Bemvindo did not know. Almost any boy 148 ROUND ABOUT RIO. can whistle, but very few boys can tell how they do it. Chester became quiet and observant. Here he was with a sturdy determination to master the Portu- guese language, and found himself unable to use one of the commonest expressions occurring in it. He noticed that when any one wished to get on the car he shot this snaky sibilation at the driver, and when he would alight the passenger held up a finger and made the same remark to the conductor. He noticed also that by different persons this ejacula- tion was modulated differently, and even fancied that he could detect signs of character in its various inflections. The fat old women gave it a moist and unctuous effusion ; with the young and pretty girls it sounded like a reversed kiss ; the swell young men said Pst ! like the flash of a fire-work ; and the nervous men of business expressed their wishes in a dry and authoritative C-h-h-h ! Our young student left the car and walked the streets in deep thoughtfulness. Forgetting all about his Balbinda, he was now determined to master this morsel of dialect if it took all the afternoon, so as to have material for the astonishment of his folks on his return to the hotel. As he walked he practised what he had learned, inflicting it on the dogs and doce-boys, but did not feel complimented in observ- ing that the former fled from him, while the latter laughed at him. Evidently he had not yet acquired the polished accent of the court. A young gentleman was leaning languidly over the balustrade of a window across the way. He wished THE STREET OF THE ORANGE TREES. 149 to attract the attention of a friend whom he saw standing on the street-corner opposite. Under these circumstances, you, or I, or Chester, dear reader, un- polished as we are, would' have naturally called out, " I say, Perkins, look up here ! " or " Hi, there, you man with the gig-lamp spectacles ! " But he did otherwise. He pursed his lips and through his teeth produced the sound, " Ch-hrh-h!" The driver of the passing tilbury, thinking that a fare awaited him, slacked his speed. " Ch-h-h-h!" The huckster woman who was tying her shoe on the curb-stone thought that some one wanted an orange, and turned her head. " Ch-h-h-h-h!" The newsboy, thinking he recognized a call for the " Jornal," revolved once around on his heel. " Oh-h-h-h-h-h ! " A thievish billy-goat, apprehending that retribu- tion was hard after him, scampered down the street. " Gh-h-h-h-h-h ! Ch ! Oh ! " Then his friend looked up, and the usual compli- ments of the morning passed between them. Chester marvelled greatly that so much time and breath should be wasted for an object that could be gained more easily by a direct form of speech, but since it was the custom of the country it was his duty to learn it and ask no questions; and when he again found himself in the bosom of his family he flattered himself that he was proficient in this aspirated whis- 150 ROUND ABOUT RIO. tie, which is as truly a national characteristic as the u of the French or the j of the Spaniards. He was not slow to display this linguistic acquire- ment. Leaning out of the window, he waited until the orange- worn an came along, and then called out: " S-s-s-shoo !" The customary dog wrapped his tail around his hind-leg and scudded down the street. The orange- wench looked up, very much astonished and some- what alarmed, and quickened her pace. It was an ignominious failure. u Chester," said Stacy, reprovingly, " what do you mean?" " Well, I don't care. It's a part of the language," said the boy. u You haven't the accent, Chester," said Robin- son. "No wonder your sister is dismayed by such a barbarous mutilation of language. Let me show you. You see, Stacy, it is not considered the thing to whistle for a boot-black, or call out to a friend, or clink your glass for a waiter, in Rio. If a fellow wants anybody or anything he twists his vocal or- gans out of shape and says: . u Oh get "out," cried Chester. "That isn't the way at all. You have been taking lessons from a soda fountain, Rob. Let's get Mr. Kingston to show us." That gentleman could readily tell how the sound was made. It was nothing more nor less than the upper half of a sneeze. But when he came to illus- trate his teachings he could produce nothing better than THE STREET OF THE ORANGE TREES. 151 In spite of his long residence here, his foreign birth revealed itself in. that abortive attempt. ' ' But how do you manage to call the right per- son ?" asked Chester. 44 You don't. To emit this sibilant summons in the hearing of a number of persons is like calling out ' J udge ! ' in a congressional lobby. Everybody, or at least everybody but the right one, turns his head in reply. I think I never knew but one Brazil- ian who had the necessary magnetic powers for throwing this sound as an Indian throws an arrow from his blow-gun, so as to hit the person he wanted without disturbing the rest of the community. This man could stand in the upper tier of boxes at the theatre and call the attention of his friend in the or- chestra stalls without incommoding any of his neigh- bors." " I do not think it is very nice," said Stacy. "It is so funny," said Pauline, who had been a quiet listener. ' ' I call my kitten in the same way that I drive it away at home. Look ! < < Kitty ! Ch-h-h ! Ch-h-hh- ! ' ' The cat came running to her in response. "I think it is deuced inconvenient," said the Colonel. " A man must have the neck of an owl to pay attention to all of the salutations that are hissing through the air. All the rifle-balls at Gettysburg were not half as trying to my nerves. As for me, I am tired of twisting my head in reply to the washer- woman who calls her child in out of the sun, or to 152 ROUND ABOUT RIO. the dandy who wants his shoes polished and is too nice to say so in direct language." "Still," mused Chester, "it pays to learn all these things, if we're going to show the folks at home that we've been abroad. I'm getting along pretty well myself. I can pick my teeth at the table, and eat with my knife everything except soup and peas ; they bother me yet. They will know that we have been farther than to Paris." "Yes," replied Kobinson. "Like as not they'll think we have been as far as Missouri." XIY. THE LAST OF THE MEGATHERIUMS. The mountain wooded to the peak, the lawns And winding glades high up like ways to heaven, The slender coco's drooping crown of plumes, The lightning flash of insect and of bird, The lustre of the long convolvuluses That coiled around the stately palms and ran Ev'n to the limit of the land, the glows And glories of the broad belt of the world, All these he saw. TENNYSON. IT is a pleasant morning's ride, or, for stalwart legs, a healthy walk, to Corcovado. Half walking and half riding, the Smith family and Robinson, accompanied by the Naturalist as expositor and guide, set out upon this pilgrimage one cool and clear day shortly after their arrival. The real ascent of the mountain begins at the airy Hotel of the Beautiful Yiew, where a couple of saddle-horses awaited them. One of these, owing to certain pecu- liarities of accoutrement, was designed exclusively for the use of Stacy or Pauline. The other was for him whose- need was greatest; this, as it happened, was Chester, who at an early hour fell a victim to the influence of the climate, as he politely expressed it, and monopolized the saddle, much to the disaffec- tion of the Colonel, who puffed, wiped his brow, realized that he was growing old, and cast envious eyes upon his son's repose. Pauline rode behind 153 154: ROUND ABOUT RIO. Chester and tried in vain to compass his substantial waist in her grasp. As for Mr. Kingston, his place, as a naturalist, was near to Nature's heart, that is, on the ground ; it were indignity to offer him a ride. From the hotel, which stands like an outpost between the sky and the sea, between the forest and the city, they plunged immediately into the shade of the matted woods. A graded road, easy but circui- tous, winds leisurely to the mountain-top. Along its edge runs the city aqueduct, keeping the way cool and moist in the hottest days of the year. It bears the date of 1744. It is a rare piece of antiquarian masonry, made in those good old colony times ere work was done by contract. At frequent intervals they came to grated windows opening into the mossy walls of this old water-way. Here and there was an open door through which they could peer into its sepulchral depths, and, peering, see a vaulted con- duit as broad and high as a street of the catacombs, along the little stone trough in whose floor was trickling the thread of water for which, in times of drought, the slaves of Rio squabble and fight. "For many a long and weary year," said Robin- son, ' ' I have been looking for the prettiest spot in the world. Here it is before us. Dismount, Stacy, and walk through this flower-garden. See how you like the place. If it meets with your approval I will buy it for you." It was the reservoir to which he referred. It was a little pile of architecture standing in a recess of the hill, but, though insignificant in size, it and its surroundings made up a picture that was superb in THE LAST OF THE MEGATHERIUMS. 155 its beauty. Before it was a plot of green, with par- terres of flowers in colors of scarlet and flame. Overhead the solid cliff rose hundreds of feet into the clouds, from somewhere in whose lower fringes a filigree stream came wavering down to add its slender contribution to the reservoir. In the smooth facade of the stone-work the builder had left a niche for the statue of somebody, and, what enhanced the beauty of the scene, this niche was yet vacant. Some day it will perhaps be filled, and the charm of this place will be frowned away by the efiigy of some little great man of the city below. As they resumed their tramp, a brilliant butterfly loitered along in the air above them, keeping tanta- lizingly just beyond the Naturalist's net. Little green paroquets crossed their path, flying two-by- two, as their ancestry are said to have entered the ark. Around them was the mat and jungle of trop- ical growth, whose freshness of eternal summer was a feast for their cold nor them, eyes. They saw a verdure which, never bleached by the frosts of winter, is not discouraged by the necessity of being regu- larly deciduous, nor can its leaves be said to have any time in particular to fall. The palms grew to the mountain-top. The tree-fern spread its kind shade over the passers-by and brushed their brows with airy and coquettish touch. With his net the Naturalist brought down a bloody-red passion-flower and explained the holy and hidden symbolism which the eye of the devout Catholic finds there. Then, dealing in insect, fruit, and flower, he beguiled the way with the peripatetic discourse of a summer-school 156 ROUND ABOUT RIO. professor, who is companion and teacher, equal and superior, all in the same breath. Chester, who was ever on the alert for the reali- zation of certain pictures in his geography, expected at every turn in the road to come upon an anaconda coiled around a tree-trunk, but was gratified with nothing larger than an insignificant green snake which wound itself into the thicket and disappeared. Then he became clamorous for monkeys. If he could only see a monkey and chase it into a cocoa- nut tree and irritate it into bombarding him with nuts, as they treat the travellers in the story-books, his measure of happiness would be complete. But all of the monkeys being in retirement at that hour, the Naturalist could only offer the boy the paltry satisfaction of a "monkey ladder." It was a rope of twisted fibres, each fibre a separate vine, which led from the ground to the lofty branches of the tree above. This monkey ladder swung from the limbs of a "buttressed tree,*' whose trunk, solid and cylindri- cal at twenty or thirty feet from the ground, divided itself into flanges or buttresses near its roots. These flanges, three or four in number, and radiating from the centre like the septa of a fruit, were almost as thin as boards, and, indeed, are used as planks at times by the Indians, to whom civilization and saw- mills have not yet penetrated. Robinson walked once around this tree and mused upon it. "Every day," he said, " we are brought to realize more and more that a kind Providence has been THE LAST OF THE MEGATHERIUMS. 157 doubly kind in providing for the wants of the lazy inhabitants of these tropics." "I hardly agree with you," said the Naturalist, "that this peculiar arrangement of fibre is a special dispensation for the lazy and the lumberless. Is it not, instead, for the benefit of the tree itself? and is not this trunk, with its material thus thrown out in but- tresses, stronger and better able to stand up before the storms that strike it? Has not the engineer learned, in his experiments on the strength of mate- rials, that almost any other form of beam is better than the compactness of the solid cylinder, such as the tree-trunk usually is ? Is this not, in short, an- other illustration of mechanics in Nature ? ."Here, Chester," he continued, "here is a wild beast of the equator for you ! Well, we are fortu- nate, indeed. We might go to Corcovado a hundred times and not find another such a prize as this. Look ahead there, on the upper bank of the road." The boy looked, and saw an object which at first seemed to be a stump of a tree, of a whitish color, which could not be hidden in the dense green of the overhanging vegetation. Then it developed into an animal of some kind, with a coat of a pale opossum gray. It supported itself against the steep roadside by one extended arm, clutching into the herbage by means of long claws, stained and discolored, and curved like miniature elephant tusks. " There it is, Chester, the sloth. You have heard of it before. Every school-boy has the sloth and the ant held up before him, figuratively speaking, once in a while. Come near; he wont hurt you. The 158 SOUND AS OUT RIO. beast is only about two feet long now, but he comes from a good old stock. He is the degenerate de- scendant of the old and once powerful family of the megatheriums, whose ponderous bodies were twenty feet long or more. Why don't you come up and look at it, good folks?" "It's dead," said Chester. "It smells bad." "Dead ? I guess so! " said Robinson. "It's fall- ing to pieces." At this point, Stacy, sharing the prevailing delu- sion, applied her handkerchief to her face; and the Colonel lit a cigar. "Don't turn it over!" begged Robinson of the Naturalist, who was poking it with a stick. , "There's nothing the matter with it," he replied. "A little slow, that's all; but that's the nature of the beast. The sloth never is a very lively subject, but I must confess that this is the first time in all of my experience that I have met one whose lazi- ness was death-like in its completeness." "And it isn't dead? " asked Stacy. "By no means. It's not particularly animated, to be sure; but still it's as healthy a specimen of the sloth as you will find." " It must be badly wounded, then." "No, no. Come forward and be convinced." The Naturalist, fumbling with the handle of his net, managed to bring to light its three hidden legs, whose absence, as they were curved beneath its body, made it look like a limbless corpse. Em- boldened by example, the others gathered around and punched him up vigorously with their umbrellas and THE LAST OF THE MEGATHERIUMS. 159 bamboo canes. As if in protest against this severe treatment, the animal turned his eyes reproachfully upon them, revolving his head upon his neck with the slow and mechanical precision of the minute hand of a clock. It was not a bad countenance, and by no means . disagreeable. The eyes were those of a seal, the face was flat and not snouted, and this, combined with the almost entire absence of tail, made it seem more akin to the human race than the majority of monkey kind. But there was nothing pert or smart about him, and being out of his element here on the ground he did not seem to have his wits thoroughly about him. So there was truth in Robinson's obser- vation that, if human, he would probably make a better philosopher than an auctioneer. Anon, as his persecutors continued to poke him, he seemed to change into a great lumbering hulk of a school-boy, who, being pestered, begs, sulks, and threatens to tell the teacher. A final thrust turned him over on his back. There he still hung, suspended by one paw, whose hold, it was seen, was slowly weakening. His other three legs dangled, and his head fell on his bosom in the besotted way of a drunken man's. Then Chester revived the story of the inebriate who leaned against the lamp-post and laid imaginary wagers upon his own stability. "Bet you I'll fall," the sloth seemed to say, as he leered at them stupidly. "Bet you a dollar I'll fall. Bet you five dol " Here the herbage gave way and the animal descended into the road with a roll and a flop. Slowly turning its head 160 ROUND ABOUT RIO. toward the group, it seemed to continue, "There ! Won the bet." " When we were up in the interior," said the Natu- ralist, " one of our men shot a sloth, but it died hard and he had to finish it with a hatchet. When one of these animals is wounded it cries just like a baby, and this one squalled till words couldn't describe it." "Like an infant class? " suggested Robinson. " Yes, like a whole kindergarten. Herod himself never heard such a howling. I never want to see another wounded sloth." "I would," said Chester. "Let's make this one talk," and he began to poke it with Stacy's parasol as rudely as if it was nothing but an unfeeling plas- ter cast in a museum and he was a lady critic. 44 1 would like to hear it cry," ventured Pauline, timidly. " Et tu, Brute f " said Kobinson. "Brute yourself!" cried Chester. "Whatever Polly does is right, and if she wants to hear the beast squeal it's right that it should squeal. Who's got a pin ? Polly never did anything wrong in her life only once. " "And when was that, pray?" asked Robinson. "That's news to me." "That was when her croquet ball wouldn't lie still, and she put her foot on it and lammed it with her mallet and wished the thing had feeling." " Chester, I didn't lam it. I only hit it." " What depravity! " said Robinson, gravely. " O Pauline, Pauline, you don't know what you have done. You have made me lose my last bit of faith THE LAST OF THE MEGATHERIUMS. 161 in womankind. I thought you at least were perfect." "I didn't mean it," replied the child, the tears gathering in her eyes. " However, you may be forgiven if you never do anything worse than that, and never put your foot on some young man's heart, and abuse that, as your big sister habitually does with the young men of her acquaintance." In the meantime the sloth was doing its feeble best to escape. Yain attempt. It could not walk, but could only flounder. Balanced on its hind legs, it was as unstable as a turtle on its tail, and the least touch would throw it over. Its limbs were loose-jointed and gifted with extensile strength alone. Like the cables of a suspension bridge, they were designed for tension and not for compression, and it was only on the tree, and travelling along the under side of the bough, that it was at home. In order to carry it thither the Naturalist offered it a branch from the thicket. It grasped it with one paw, and then, hand over hand, with the practised and easy swing of an accomplished athlete, it trav- ersed its length. Placed at the foot of the tree, it seemed to gather new life and strength from the touch of its bark. Its ascent was noiseless, rapid, and graceful. Breaking off an obtruding dry spine, pushing aside a green twig that was in the way, selecting its route with that animal instinct which puts to shame our human judgment, it was soon at the top of the tree. There, in its chosen habitation, whose leaves are its food, they left it, the type of all that is " Remote, unfriended, melancholy, slow." XY. ON COKCOYADO. The Pharaohs were a vulgar lot ; they cut their names wherever they could find a smooth and conspicuous place. CHARLES DUDLEY WARNER. NEAR the crest of Corcovado, in that lofty zone where the palms are scarce and the hard-wood trees are stained with red lichen, in that notch in the mountains where the thirsty aqueduct crosses to the other side of the range and goes its dangerous way in search of water, there is another resting-place where the tourists tether their horses, eat their cold snacks, and remove their coats preparatory to the last hard clamber to the summit. It is an umbrella of palm thatch, shaped like a gigantic mushroom, around whose stalk in the centre a table is built, where luncheons innumerable have been spread. Around this rustic board there are chairs equally rustic, being sections of the solid log. Our party sat down here and reproached them- selves arid each other especially each other for going on a picnic without any cold victuals. "I am thirsty," said Robinson. "Only to think of an exploring expedition starting out without med- icine, and this in Brazil, where snake-bites are sup- posed to be common!" "It is but a few steps to the venda," suggested the Naturalist. ON CORCOVADO. 163 "I have been there, tempted by the sight of a sardine-box and a broken bottle at the door; but alas ! their shelves are empty and their casks are dry. This has not been a fortunate day. We have found bananas, but they were green; plums, but they were sour ; and now a venda where nothing is vended." " A bouquet of beer still lingers around this shelf," said the Naturalist, "and here are stains that water never made." "And here is a cheese crumb and half of a hard- boiled egg," cried Chester. U A soupgon of sausage still lingers in the air," added Stacy. " Inhale and be refreshed." "Rather a Barmecidal banquet," objected Robin- son. "What would you have ?" asked the Naturalist. "Those who live in the woods should take such bounties as the woods provide. Here is one of them, which, if you are more hungry than fastidious, will taste better to you than the brains of singing birds or the roe of mullets." So saying, he displayed a large black ant which he had plucked from an overhanging limb, and whose head he had pinched between his thumb and finger so as to effect its quietus. "This is a staple article of food among the sav- ages of the interior, where monkey steaks prevail. Many an otherwise unpalatable meal have I savored with a sauce of these ants a sauce piquante, as it were. Or taken raw, fresh from the bush, as we pick blackberries, they are not to be despised, either 164 ROUND ABOUT RIO. as a whet or a dessert. Indeed, it requires no very active imagination to liken this insect to the black- berry. Notice the glossy black of its lobes, and how each resembles a fragment of the berry in question. See how conveniently it is divided into sections by a kind Providence, so as to afford several bites to the dainty mouth. How does it taste, do you ask ? It ought to be recorded among the Apician delicacies. Its flavor is very much like that of the blackberry, only perhaps a trifle more pungent." "I dare you to eat it," challenged Chester. " After you," said he politely, offering it around the circle. Then he picked off its head and threw it away, and placed the carcass in his mouth. There was a momentary struggle between the muscles of his face, which, under his control, endeavored to force the morsel down, and the involuntary machin- ery of his neck, which rejected it. The latter pre- vailed, and he was obliged to spit it out. "It is not the right species," said he apologeti- cally. "I know what was the matter," said Chester. "You ought to have put it on ice first." "That is it, exactly," replied the Naturalist. " The Indians always put theirs on ice for an hour or two. This was a little too fresh. I don't believe it was hardly dead yet. I think it kicked, and tick- led my throat. This is not the right time of year for that sort of game, either. And besides, they never eat them without a pinch of salt." It was evident that he was chagrined over his defeat. ON CORCOVADO. 165 At a later hour, in discussing this incident, Stacy said : "I don't think I could ever love a man that would eat ants." "Neither could I," said Robinson, with effusion. " Shake hands on it, Stacy." "I'm so glad," she continued, demurely, "that Mr. Kingston failed in his effort. If he had swal- lowed it I am afraid that I never could have re- spected him again." Robinson collected himself, and withdrew his proffered hand. The penknife of many a predecessor had chipped into the soft pine of the table where they sat, carv- ing monograms, love-knots, spitted hearts, and other nonsense of an idle hour. Chester contributed a star-spangled banner to the collection, and then brought down a storm of condemnation by begin- ning to hew out his name underneath. "I don't care," complained he. "Here's ALPHETJS JOHNSON, CONNECTICUT, and I'm not going to allow any Yankee by the name of Johnson to get ahead of me." "Let him register," said the Naturalist. "It will interest the native young ladies from Rio. They will spell out his name and build a romance upon it, with a hero of light hair, blonde face, and a full chest. Have you noticed that there is always some- thing alluring about the names of foreigners ? Im- agine the effect of the prolix autograph of Pedro Henrique Carlos Rubens Ferreiro upon a boarding- 166 ROUND ABOUT RIO. school miss of our country, if she should have it presented to her on a visiting card." " But that is such a pretty name," said Stacy. "In your ears, yes. Bat what do you think it means ? " asked he. ' ' I don't know, but I should think the owner of it would be a count or a baron at least." "It means Peter Henry Charles Reuben Smith." " Oh ! " cried Stacy, her illusion gone. " That is worse than Chester Smith or Henry Clay Robinson. " " Just think what a racket Pedro Henrique etc. Smith would create among the girls at Newport or Washington!" said Robinson. "And what a wel- come guest he would prove to that Georgetown landlady, of a good old family in reduced circum- stances, who, having daughters to marry, advertised for boarders, 'foreigners preferred.' I had the dis- tinguished honor of knowing a young lady of that type myself, and once having occasion to draw a comparison from Hawthorne, was crushed by her lofty statement that she never read American litera- ture. I shall never forget the look of disdain with which she regarded me, when, in response to an observation of hers, I inadvertently said ' I guess so.' But she had all of the latest Belgravian argot on her tongue and was busy, when I last saw her, in laying matrimonial snares for a villainous rake of one of the foreign legations." " Fortunately for our national pride," said the Naturalist, " folly of this kind is not confined to the United States. It was only the other evening that I was out to dinner in this city and became the per- ON CORCOVADO. 167 functory confidant of a sensitive lady who had been slighted in some way, as she fancied. < And this af- front to me,' she said, in glowing terms, 'to me, whose grandfather was a foreigner!' But, after all, is not this universal weakness something of a blessing, inasmuch as in our present state of society every person has something to be proud of, and very pecu- liar must be the conditions of the man who cannot contemplate himself from some point of view, with complacency. If his ancestors came over with the first cargo of convicts to Virginia, he belongs to one of the old families. If they are a recent importa- tion, then he can say, with the lady of whom I have spoken, ' My grandfather was a foreigner. ' If he is rich, he is proud of his wealth; if poor, of his hon- orable poverty. If he has a family Bible with a well filled genealogical page, he boasts of his line- age; if he was a foundling, he glories in the fact that he is a self-made man. And so it goes. Every one, by this beneficent arrangement of Providence, may exalt himself and feel a secret contempt for his neighbor. " Our disdain for the Chinese is not superior to their disdain for us. Even the law and the gospel obey this general rule, for the man with the green bag and the man with the surplice each thinks that his particular profession is the key-stone of the arch of useful employment. The clerk in the village grocery will not associate with the farmer's boy who brings the butter and eggs from the country; he in his turn is scorned by the young gentleman from the country-seat, who is not allowed to penetrate the 168 ROUND ABOUT RIO. mystic circle of best society when he goes to Albany, whose members knock in vain at the doors of the New York clubs, the flower of which are annually snubbed in London and Paris. "But this is a digression, indeed," he continued, as the bells of the distant city told off another hour. "The day passes, and Corcovado is yet above us. Prepare for the last hard scramble." Reaching the summit, they ascended the final rock of the crest by steps chipped out of the solid stone. The peak was composed of a double crag, whose in- tervening fissure was arched over with smooth ma- sonry. Around the outer edge of the level floor thus formed there was an inclosure of white wall, constituting the castle in the air which Robinson had erstwhile mistaken for a convent. Inside of this parapet there ran a bench of colored tiles, arranged in mosaic pattern. "This is a warm climate, indeed," said Robinson. "Here is more tessellated masonry at the top of a mountain where, in the States, the eternal rocks themselves would not be safe from the frosts' hidden enginery." "And it must have been here a generation at least," said the Naturalist, "for Ewbank, in his peregrinations in 1845, visited this spot, and, in the naive frankness of the American vandal, he speaks of the mosaic pavement here, ' a specimen of which I took.'" "Chester, do come down from there !" called Stacy to her brother, who was lounging on the top of the wall, taking a position in which, had his shoes ON CORCOVADO. 169 dropped off, they would have fallen a thousand feet sheer downward. " I'm enjoying the scenery," said Chester. " You can't get the genuine thrill of a beautiful view cooped up in a place like that, any more than these folks down here can get the true idea of skating from their parlor skates." " You'd better come away, Chester," warned Rob- inson. "It is for the .benefit of such adventurous spirits as you that the wall was built." u The true motive of the wall, as I understand it," said the Naturalist, " is to be found in the tragedy of which this spot was the theatre once upon a time." '"A legend! " cried Robinson, producing his note- book. "Now, this is what we have been waiting for. Make it grim and gory, please." " It is the legend of the two travellers who came up here many years ago. While lost in contempla- tion of the beauties around him, one of them was grappled by his companion, who had developed a full-blown insanity on the spur of the moment and sought to throw his life-long friend down this Tar- peian cliff, but, fortunately, without success." " Not a very blood-curdling legend, to be sure," said Robinson, ' ' but, taken on the spot, it is quite sufficient. And then the moral is good when you go to Corcovado, be certain that your companion is not subject to feeling queer. By the way, Colonel, there is something in your eye which makes me wish I had not come. Is it the reflection of desperation and deadly intent in your heart ? " 170 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "No, it is the result of an empty stomach, I guess." " Feast on the landscape around us," said the Naturalist. " Behold the mountains, piled in all forms of imagery and green with forests from sea to summit ; the great bald conoid of the Sugar Loaf, higher than several Trinity Churches ; the lumpy mountain system beyond the bay, resembling, in its alternations of hill and fur,row, the expanse of a Titanic potato-field ; and the islands, the culminat- ing points of other ranges now covered by the sea, how they dwindle in size as they recede from the shore! Follow the city with your eye, as it strag- gles along its miles and miles of coast, and runs back into the numerous little valleys which separate the equally numerous spurs with which the moun- tains subside into the sea. See the neat white villas gleaming from the thick verdure around. Behold this one at our very feet ; what a bird's-eye view we have of its gardens and parterres ! Trace, if you can, the winding yellow road by which we came, digged for the public convenience by the kind paternal government under whose aegis we are." 4 ' What is a paternal government ? ' ' asked Chester. "A paternal government, my boy, is one that taxes the distant provinces to pay for home improve- ments." "And what do you mean by ' aegis ' ? " "That is the kind attention paid to the stranger by the officials of the custom house and police, who seize his passport, scribble on it, detain it, tell him to call for it to-morrow, eye him suspiciously, treat ON CORCOVADO. 171 him rudely, and in other ways seek to convince him that he is a person so important that the Brazilian nation is afraid of him." In the centre of the enclosure where they were gathered was a stone pillar. Above it arose a flag- staff, which in its time had supported not only the flags of all nations, but also many a handkerchief, napkin, and apron, the colors of those who had pic- nicked there. Robinson was standing upon this ros- trum, getting together the points of a little speech which he was contemplating, when he discovered a phenomenon which diverted his attention to an- other and better end. At this hour the mists came rolling in from the sea, and, dissolving against the warm rock of the mountain top, were invisible there, while under- neath, at the base of the peak, a turbulent ocean of vapors eddied and curled. Standing with his back to the sun, which was then in the distant north, Robinson saw a tiny arc of rainbow, a semi-circle in length, lying on the clouds below. In its centre was a black object, dim at first, but which took on human shape as the bow grew brighter. By some chance motion, repeated in the apparition, he first learned that this shadow was his picture, and great was his enthusiasm. He made gestures, gyrations, and postures ; his eidolon mimicked him faithfully. He swayed from side to side ; the silhouette did the same, and the halo of border obligingly accompanied it. He hoisted his umbrella; its convex reflection fitted neatly into the arc of the rainbow. 172 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "Come up here, Stacy, and have jour picture taken," he called. u lt's no slight thing to be pho- tographed on such a scale and have it framed in so gorgeous a border of seven colors. Come, Stacy, I'll stand the expense. There, now, take hold of my arm and snuggle up close so that we won't crowd the rainbow. Now let's make a little courtesy. See how gracefully the figures in the mirror make obei- sance in response. Surely nature must be flattering us. But no, nature is incapable of flattery. It must be that we look well together, Stacy. Were this a fit occasion "I wish you would help me down," said Stacy, " and I will leave this platform to yourself. I have always noticed that public speakers require a good deal of elbow room." Robinson descended from his pulpit. At its base he caught sight of an inscription, and cried : "Amigos! There are bigger fools in the world than Alpheus Johnson of Connecticut, and they are not American, either. Viva a Repullica /" He had found where some aspirant for fame, sub- scribing himself with that extraordinary length of name characteristic of the Brazilian people, had stencilled his card upon the stone pillar, while two other persons, four names to the person, had carved their autographs deep into a hand's-breadth of lead sheeting, which they had carried all this dis- tance and height and bolted down to the solid rock. "Before these cases of idiocy," continued Robin- son, "the folly of Alpheus Johnson is dimmed. His was the work of thoughtlessness and an idle ON CORCOVADO. 1T3 moment; theirs was premeditated and aforethought. 'What fools these mortals be.' " And with hearts hopeful for the future of the great republic, they took up their homeward inarch. XYI. SEEING THE CITY. A child lost in the midst of the multitude. < Hi! Hi! Hi!" 'What are you yelling about?" ' I want my mother." ' What's your name ?" ' I don't know. Hi! Hi! Hi!" 'Where do you live?" ' I live in a very dirty street, where there is a church. " ' Why, my house is in the same street." FRANCA JUNIOR. ON the day after the ascent of Corcovado, Robin- son and Stacy started out for a morning walk. Upon the door-step Robinson turned to face his com- panion, looked into her eyes, and said: "Now, tell me truly, honor bright, what do you think of Rio?" "I think it is perfectly lovely," she replied, with a girl's enthusiasm. She was holding a rose to her lips as she spoke, and was thinking of what she had seen the day before, the pretty chalets at the foot of the mountain, the blue dotted with green of the bay and islands, the white ships out at sea, and the fleeces of cloud in the sky. "You think that nothing could change your opinion ?" "Certainly not," answered Stacy, a little indig- nant at having her constancy called in question. 174 SEElNa THE CITY. 175 "Then, come." "Did you call me?" asked Chester, indifferently, as he strolled into hailing distance. " Shall we take him ?" asked Robinson. " We might tolerate him," said Stacy, "if he will promise to keep at a respectful distance, and not let people know that he belongs to us." " You hear the conditions," said Robinson. "You are to be an outrider, a page, an escort, a skirmisher " "No, sir; you haven't hit it yet. A chaperon, that's the word. And if I say ' Ana-sta-tia ! ' you want to let go of Rob's arm, sis, and brace up. And if I call out, ' You, Henry ! ' you'll know what that means." Perhaps there was something malicious in Robin- son's guidance as he led his friends around the city. At least so Stacy thought. "But aren't there any pleasant walks in Rio? " she asked. " Oh, yes; numerous. But they are all outside of the city." "What can I do?" she cried in dismay, as they passed the angle of a church. " I cannot hold up my skirts and my parasol, and keep my handkerchief to my face, with only two hands." c ' Coitadinha ! Let me take your umbrella. Now we'll leave this unpleasant quarter and go around by the market. The market, you know, is always an interesting locality in the morning." They met peddlers, heavily loaded, hastening to the suburbs with their various burdens; vendors of 176 ROUND ABOUT RIO. dry goods with their chests of stuffs upon their backs, striking their measuring wands together to warn their customers of their approach; the man with a basket of culinary furniture upon his head, beating a frying-pan and accompanying his steps with a shrill tintinnabulation; the man with an Ossa of tin-ware upon a Pelion of earthen-ware, and the whole surmounted by a bath-tub; the serious Chinese shrimp merchant, ambling along, and having great trouble with his /' s as he announced "Camardes! Camaroes ! " There were women also, stalwart blacks, with fruit, vegetables, and sweetmeats, some of them sprawling upon the sidewalks and others striding along with determined gait, making the timid clerks in white pantaloons scatter before them like so many sheep. One of these bore down upon Stacy and Robinson like a black cloud upon a pleasure party. Upon her head there was a wooden tray upon which were piled a ghastly beefs-head, some tripe, liver, and other odds and ends of the butcher's shop. As she walked, with arms akimbo, she swept the pave- ment clean before her, and, confident of her suprem- acy over all ordinary passengers, she gave them no thought, but kept her eyes on the distant future. Robinson dragged Stacy hastily into the middle of the street, thus avoiding a collision. Stacy was ruffled by this abrupt action. " The hateful -creature ! " said she. " They ought to put her in prison. Where are the police ? " " All around us," replied Robinson. "This thin SEEING THE CITY. 177 stripling in the airy costume of brown linen is a policeman." 1 ' You don't say ! " exclaimed Chester, in wonder. 4 ' Why, I'm not afraid of any boy of his size. I say, Bobby ! Come out from behind that sword. I know you're there, for I see your legs hanging down." The policeman did not understand the words of this speech, but he seemed seriously inclined to arrest Chester on grounds of suspicion alone; there was something in the boy's voice and eye that seemed to threaten the public quiet and safety. A white-gloved orderly, bearing an immense offi- cial envelope in his hand, dashed at gallop down the street, as if the enemy were at the city gates and this letter contained the terms of surrender. The shoulders and flanks of his fine horse were dashed with lather and foam, and the messenger's sword clanked ominously with its voice of war. He was engaged upon government business ; probably it was an application for a widow's pension, submitted several years ago and to be decided as many years hence. In this way government business is trans- acted all the world over. A waterman with his cart that is, a barrel of water upon two wheels next attracted attention, and Stacy's sympathy was aroused at seeing this barefooted aquarius tugging at the shaft by the side of his faithful friend and servant, the mule, to help him what little he could. After the waterman, in logical sequence came the milkman with his perambulating dairy. He was 12 178 ROUND ABOUT RIO. leading his cow by a rope tied around her horns, and she in turn was dragging her calf, an overgrown hulk of a yearling, by a cord running from the end of her tail to the head of her pampered infant ; it is a theory among these milkmen that the cow will not u give down" unless the calf is present to butt and fumble with his muzzled snout while the dairyman is pursuing his task. Both the calf and the cow hung back stubbornly and wavered as they walked, so that the three formed a procession which, though attenuated, was by no means inconsiderable, and they effectually cleared the sidewalk, driving Rob- inson and Stacy again into the street. These had the curiosity to watch the milkman until he came to the door of a customer, when he unslung his cup and milked it full, the calf meanwhile interfering with dumb protestations, thrusting his boot-leg muzzle into the tantalizing fluid, while the cow quietly ruminated, probably wondering how it was that this child of hers could drink so much without getting fat. At some distance farther on was the stable, which appeared to be an important centre of the dairy in- terests. It was situated upon one of the principal streets, between a couple of fancy little dwelling- houses which were painted to shame the rainbow, and in Stacy's eyes the establishment seemed to be very much out of place. Two or three half-naked children were playing in the doorway and waging an unequal war with the fleas. Two or three goats, independent and aggressive as city goats always are, were holding their own, like Thermopylaean heroes, SEEING THE CITY. 179 upon the trottoir and in the street, to the almost total obstruction of travel. Stacy's handkerchief was again brought into use. " I dislike musk," said she. "I hate the smell of musk, but I am never going to come out again without it. There are some things worse than musk in this world." " It's the breath of the kine," answered Robinson. " Have you not often read of it in poetry and stories of the summer vacation? It's the breath of the kine. How thankful ought these stifled dwellers of the city to be that they have at least this taste of country life at their doors! But, ungrateful that they are, I will venture to say that in all Brazilian literature there is not a single scrap about milkmaids and the romance of the barnyard." " Hush ! Milkmaids are nice to read about." Officials of church and state, clad in sombre vest- ments and gay uniforms, jostled them at every turn. Surely, they thought, the governors of the Brazilian soul and body must outnumber the governed. Be- tween cathe'dral and convent journeyed the young priest, with his fleshy lips and his cheeks red and full in the grossness of sensuality. The jolly little Beranger of the brotherhood, whose sacerdotal garb could not quite smother the merry twinkle of his eye and the kindness that lay in every feature, beamed on them from a street corner, where he stood taking a pinch of snuff. "I like him," said Stacy. "I don't suppose he is of much use, but then he can't be capable of any great harm. But here is a better one still," she 180 ROUND ABOUT RIO. continued, as they met a Franciscan with his benevo- lent face and long flowing beard, and his black gown with its clothes-line cincture about the waist. "Now this man must believe what he professes, whatever that may be, and if I am any judge of character as you know I am, Henry he would be a hero or a martyr or a ministering angel, if there was an opportunity. I shouldn't wonder if he was on an errand of mercy at this very moment." "He is certainly a martyr at this very moment," replied Robinson. "I wonder that he doesn't die in this hot sun, with all of that ulster of black stuff dragging at his heels." "Black is the fashion here. You are way out of the world with that brown hat and gaudy cravat of yours. You ought to wear a high black hat, a black tie, and a heavy Prince Albert coat. Then I would be proud to walk with you. As it is, people stare at you. They think you are an Englishman." "Oh, anything but that, Stacy, anything but that. Do I wear a towel for a hat-band and sling a field- glass to my side, that they should consider me a blarsted Briton ? No, indeed. Do I stop and stam- mer and gasp every three or four words of my con- versation with ladies, catching myself on the verge of using some low slang from the clubs or stables ? I flatter myself that J don't." "They must think you are English," continued Stacy, coolly, "for I heard a visitor at the hotel ask the servant if that man with the chess-board panta- loons and the beefsteak complexion pointing you out belonged to the British legation." SEEING THE CITY. 181 "O Stacy! that is adding insult to injury. Have they no discrimination, these people ? I can tell a Brazilian from a Portuguese, and I don't see why they can't be equally kind to us. But I don't care," he added, growing desperate. "I'm going to con- sider my comfort in the selection of my wardrobe, even if it costs me my birthright of national pride. I'm not so proud as I sometimes pretend to be, and as you think I am. If it comes to the worst, I don't know but I would rather be taken for an English- man than to be sun-struck and die a horrible death in the public streets. Just wait till about Christ- mas and you'll see me blossom out in my white flan- nel suit, even at the risk of being arrested for masque- rading before carnival time." ' ' I will take this opportunity of requesting that you will return my letters and photographs before that time shall arrive," said Stacy. Everywhere in the public /buildings there were stacks of arms and patrols on guard. Even the Na- tional Museum was not free from these props to dy- nastic power. It was presided over by stupid negro soldiers, who, with bayonets fixed, guarded its treas- ures from interruption as the dust of ages silently settled upon them. Woe to the over-zealous scientific man who should pull off his coat, remove his cuffs, and open one of these cases, to analyze, compare, or reconstruct among its contents. The red tape of official displeasure would bind his hands, the laws of official etiquette would restore coat and cuffs to their places on his person, the door of the cabinet would 182 ROUND ABOUT RIO. be sealed up, the floor would be swept, and the dust of ages would settle as before. 44 All things are fossils here," explained Robinson to Stacy. u The catalogue has the specimens arranged under different heads, but the truth remains that all are fossils, from the excellentissimo savants who con- trol the museum, down to the humble echinoderm on the top shelf. See that stuffed bird, how it seems weary of patient standing in one position ; and that alligator, with a spider's web spun across its open jaws ; and that piece of tourmaline, how the dust of ages is dimming its lustre. Nothing short of an earthquake could throw any life into this establish- ment." u How quiet and orderly everything is here!" said Stacy. u There is always so much confusion in our museums at home." ' 4 Yes, ' ' answered Robinson. ' 'Our scientific men are all the time breaking up rocks, and blowing with a blow-pipe, and mixing up chemicals, and magni- fying and photographing, and all that sort of thing. Their fingers are always dirty and their clothes are always spattered." "I think that, on the whole, I will accept a posi- tion in Brazil," said Chester. " Yes, Chester," replied Robinson, speaking with sarcasm, "I think that a person of your fastidious tastes would find it a congenial employment. The scholar, in Brazil, is always a gentleman, superfi- cially at least. Neatness and precision in dress and deportment are the first qualifications that command respect. So the young engineer, about to run a rail- SEEING THE CITY. 183 road alignment across a swamp, has his boots care- fully blacked in the morning and draws on his kids preparatory to taking the field ; thus attired, he is treated with greater deference than an Eads or Hawkshaw in his old clothes would be. Our friend the Naturalist tells me that he never starts for a tramp in the interior without wearing a chimney-pot hat and taking a supply of linen shirts and collars, however uncomfortable they may be. He has learned by sad experience that without them he will be snubbed. More than once, he tells me, he has come to &fazenda, all battered and stained from a long and weary exploration in the wilderness, and though he carried the best of letters to the proprietor, he could get only such a reception as his clothes seemed to warrant. Here, above all other places, the tailor makes the man." "I shouldn't think he could do much geology or catch many butterflies in a stovepipe hat and a standing collar," said Stacy. " So he confesses, but then he says that his devo- tion to science is not so -great that he is willing to eat feijoada with the servants and sleep in an out- house for its sake. He would rather forego a dis- covery or two, if by so doing he can drink of the wine of the fazendeiro? s table and get an introduc- tion to his daughters. He admits that he is becom- ing a feather-bed scientist, but claims that this is the inevitable destiny of all students who come to this country and eat the lotus with its superficial aristoc- racy. I don't know much about these things, Stacy, but it does seem to me that the cause of science 184 ROUND ABOUT RIO. stands a poor show in a country where the young idea is trained to imitate Chesterfield first, and Agassiz afterward." By this time they had resumed their aimless walk, and found themselves in the street called Ouvidor, the business centre of the city, toward which all of the street-cars converge, and, on a pleasant after- noon, unload there a living freightage composed of the wealth and beauty of the town. Though the Broadway of Rio, it is so narrow that it is almost always shady there, whatever the hour of day; so narrow that the tilburys and other vehicles are per- mitted to run in one direction only; so narrow, in fact, that it would take an accomplished marksman to shoot a rifle down its course. They stemmed its current of restless humanity in their brave determination to see what there was to be seen. Cigar-stands, printing-ofiices, and the shops of tailors were there in a strange jumble. Fillets and clusters of diamonds flickered through the heavy plate of a corner window. "Shall we go in here?" asked Stacy. iC I am tired of running around." ' ' I'd rather not, ' ' replied her escort. ' ' Your birth- day comes too soon, Stacy, and I think I've heard you remark that the only memento that you wished to carry away from here was a Brazilian diamond. Come a little farther, Stacy. I know a better place than this, where they have Nature's own jewelry for sale. I'll buy you a bug whose splendor will eclipse the brightest dazzle of these paltry stones." He led the way to one of those stores, museum SEEING THE CITY. 185 and mart combined, where all that is strange and beautiful in the animal life of the tropics is exposed for sale. Here the naturalist comes to replenish his cabinet, the tourist for his trophies of travel, and the lady for her ball-room paraphernalia. It is the feather-flower store, where not only flowers, but fans, birds, and butterflies contribute to the irides- cence of the scene. In the window-seat a great heap of green beetles had been poured out with the lavish hand of the grocer who displays coffee and rice in a similar position. Their deep color was framed in the rarer and more lustrous hues of others which were dis- tributed around with a more economical hand. Above these were cases with bats, scorpions, spiders, centipedes, and other unpleasant company. Heads of humming-birds, mounted on plates of gold, flowers of all species, and fans of all shapes, com- pleted the collection. "Here they speak English," said Robinson, reading from the placard as they entered the door. A young woman approached them to attend to their wants. u Oh, the pretty flower-girl !" he continued. " I wish she didn't understand English then I could say something nice to her." Chester opened the conversation. " Those green bugs there in the window are com- mon enough. I used to have a set of them myself." u They are very hard," the girl replied; speaking apologetically, and with but little foreign accent. " You cannot bite them with your teeth." 186 ROUND ABOUT RIO. " All a popular delusion," said the boy, with im- portance. "I used to say so myself, and another fellow asked me to let him try it, and I dared him to try it, and he cracked it as easy as if it was a hazel- nut. That's what broke up my set. Have you any June bugs ?" "Alas, no," replied the girl in the confusion of ignorance, and mortified that her customers should be disappointed in the first article of their request. 4 4 But will not the lady like to look at some pretty flowers?" She displayed a tempting profusion of coffee, orange, passion-flowers, and others, whose material was the plumage of birds. " Oh, there's one that I know," cried Chester, pouncing on one in the heap. " What is it ? " asked Stacy. "1 don't know what it is, but it grows away up on the tip-tops of the highest trees. I've seen it there myself." u He makes fun," explained the shop-girl. "It does grow there on the parrot's back. He is a funny boy." "What will you have, Stacy?" asked Robinson. "Make your selection." 4 i I think I will take this wreath and that varie- gated bouquet, and one of those gorgeous fans yon- der, and a set of that beetle jewelry not the green, they are old-fashioned by this time and a hum- ming-bird brooch for Pauline, and a pair of those magnificent cuff-buttons for yourself, and " SEEING THE CITY. 187 "I wish we had stopped in the diamond store," groaned Robinson. u Let me see, where was I?" resumed Stacy. " Oh, yes; I must have a pair of those heavenly blue butterflies have them match, please, to pin up by my mirror, one on each side." "To remind you of the papilionaceous nature of your life, every time you consult the glass. A good idea. I'll buy them for you willingly." "And I," said Chester, "will thank you for that stuifed vampire. I want to take it home and tell the folks that I caught it tapping my big toe one night. Then I want that gallinipper to show as a specimen of the mosquitoes they have down here; and that straddle-bug with the lobster claws I wonder if they would believe that was a South American flea if I told them so !" "And I'll tell you what I want," said Robinson, searching his pockets and concentrating what change he could find. "I want to go home while I have money enough left for car fare." "But we're going to the market," suggested Chester. "All right. Anywhere, anywhere." "Oh, I haven't got anything for mother," cried Stacy, as they were about to go out ' ' Dear old lady, I mustn't forget her. I wonder if she wouldn't like one of those mats of down. However, I can get that when I come again, I suppose. I'll come for that next week," added she, addressing the flower-girl. 4 ' Quando quizer, " was the polite reply. 188 ROUND ABOUT RIO. To the market they went, but they were not brave enough to penetrate the depths of that great shed, reeking with a mingled odor which the un- accustomed nostril was powerless to analyze. Wan- dering through its outskirts, they with difficulty avoided the gypsy-like hucksters squatted there on the ground and proffering their simple wares of fruit, confectionery, -arid joints of the juicy sugar- cane. Peering down the dark alleys of the building, they saw there the slouchy and clamorous market- women, whose gabble sounded above the chatter of monkeys and the squawking of chickens. Almost to the roof their commodities were piled, while from the beams overhead swung tripe, sausages, and blown bladders, salt cod, over-alls, and artichokes. Ap- proaching the water's edge, they came to the slimy quarter where crabs, shrimps and other vermin of the sea were sold. "Courage!" said Robinson. U A few steps more, and we will be by the side of the bay and see the Greek fishermen at their work. Perchance we'll hear them sing a mournful song over their lost liberties, 'Again to the battle, Achaians ! ' or something of that sort." There they were, sure enough, a dirty crew of Homer's countrymen, who were cleaning, salting, and selling their finny plunder, throwing the offal wherever it chanced to fall, sometimes in the sea and sometimes on the shore. But they were not singing ; they were spinning yarns and swearing. "And these are the men for whom Byron died," SEEING THE CITY. 189 groaned Robinson. " He might better have gone on writing poetry." At this moment the wind changed and wafted with it a soul-sickening stench, "a very ancient and fish-like smell," from the scene of the Greeks. It made Stacy cringe with acute suffering. "Oh, take me away!" she pleaded, grasping Rob- inson's arm. " Yes, I think we have seen enough of the market. We can go over it again in our memory, you know, at dinner and breakfast. It will naturally be a sub- ject of conversation, since everything we eat comes from here. Oh, by the way, how did you say you liked Rio?" XVII. ENTOMOLOGY. America is a great country, inhabited by many tribes of savage people, who show much difference in language, and there are in it many strange animals. HANS STADE. "XT'OUN'Gr San ford, of an important coffee-ex- JL porting house in Rio, was a resident at the Hotel of the Strangers, where he turned his spare moments to profit in cultivating the acquaintance of the distinguished people who sojourned there, thus acquiring a stock of reminiscences which might be useful to him in the good society toward which his aspirations tended. He was an admirer of the Smith Family, Chester excepted, albeit a little afraid of Robinson, who was inclined to trifle with his feel- ings. At the present gathering of our group, in their parlor at nightfall, after their stroll to the market- place, young Sanford was a guest, having dropped in to enjoy what he was pleased to consider a call on Miss Stacy, but, abashed by the presence of Rob- inson, he occupied a retired corner and made but few remarks. Stacy and Chester were exhibiting the treasures which they had brought from the feather-flower store. "Yes, this is the genuine vampire,'' said the Naturalist, holding up the bat. "You may know it by its two upright ears at the sides of its head, 190 ENTOMOLOGY. 191 and this third appendage, very like an ear, which ornaments its nose. Notice the massive ferocity of its mouth; it has the smile of one of Nast's Irish- men." "Where do they live?" asked Chester. "Here, there, and everywhere. If you stay here long enough one of them will fly in through your open window some night, fan you into a painless slumber with those great wings of his, and phlebot- omize you so neatly that you will never know it till the next morning. One came to visit me one night in this very house, but I happened to be awake and captured him." " Oh, the beast! How big was he ?" " Not very large. Only about two feet from tip to tip, with a body like an overgrown rat, and teeth like a cobbler's awl." " How did you catch him ?" " With a wet towel. That is the best instrument of capture for all noxious things that fly. The wet towel combines the weight of a projectile with the envel- oping surface of a net, and it is sure to bring down its game. Mine surrendered after being hit two or three times in its flight. Then I stifled it with my toilet cachaga, and in the morning I, put it away in ajar of alcohol where it yet remains." At this point young Sanford, hitherto inconspic- uous, was seen to squirm about upon his chair like a martyr on a gridiron, grow red and troubled in the face, and appear to be making a fruitless attempt to thrust one foot up the other leg of his pantaloons, which is hardly the course of conduct prescribed for 192 ROUND ABOUT RIO. an evening in the drawing-room. Then he seemed endeavoring to tie his nether extremities into a bow- knot, and, failing in that, he abruptly left the room without so much as a word of wherefore or adieu. With this exit he also drops out of our history, in which he plays but an incidental part. "When such things happen," said the Colonel, with a quiet chuckle, "we all know what it means." "And when I am visiting a young lady," re- marked Robinson, soberly turning the leaves of an album, "and when we are talking about moonlight, music, love, flowers, and kindred subjects, and when she suddenly hears her father calling her, although I happen to know that that worthy gentleman is just then on the other side of the city I know what that means." "Yes, "said Stacy, languidly picking a rose to pieces, "and when a certain young man who cus- tomarily wearies me for an hour and a half at a time, remembers at the end of the first fifteen minutes that he has letters to write home, although the steamer does not sail for a week yet I know what that means." "It means fleas!" observed Chester, coming to the point. For the life of him he could not see the use of all this circumlocution. " Ches-fer/" said Stacy. "Do you consider that a proper form of speech ?" " Ana-sta-tia !" retorted the boy, "who began it?" " Chester has said nothing wrong, " observed the Naturalist. "This is not a forbidden topic in this ENTOMOLOGY. 193 zone. Fleas are a climatic evil, the same as colds and dark complexions, and so they can't be other- wise than respectable. At least, they're no more disreputable than mosquitoes." "He might at least have called them pulgas," reasoned Robinson. "That would be more polished. It is so much more elegant to use a foreign word when you want to swear or say anything else of doubtful propriety." The Naturalist had been turning over the papers of his card-case. ' ' Now, if there is any dialect that is particularly unexceptionable in this world," continued he, "it is that of the opera-box ; and to prove to you that we are not talking upon a tabooed subject, allow me to read this clipping from one of the daily papers." He read the following open letter : "To THE ITALIAN OPERA COMPANY. We beg the maestro Senhor Ferrari to have more compassion on his subscribers, who are cruelly punished by the great number of fleas which infest the boxes, owing to the want of care and cleanliness. " Many Subscribers.^ " We have been to the opera," said Chester, " we know how it is, ourselves." " Yes," added Robinson, " and although ours was a family group, I did not dare to minister to my comfort in the way that an impulsive nature sug- gested." "He didn't dare to scratch," whispered Chester to Pauline, translating for her. 13 194 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "The best that I could do was to drop raj glove, and, in reclaiming that, take the opportunity to give my ankle a knock and a rub. Agony ? I could feel the slow thrills creep from my boots to my eye- brows, and all the time I had to smile and smile and look unconscious. But now that we are in the midst of polite literature upon this somewhat impolite sub- ject, just mark how happily Joaquin Miller has alluded to it in these verses." As if this were a reading circle, each member of which had come prepared, he produced a page of manuscript and entertained the company as follows : Brazil is the land where adventurers bold Came hunting the Amazon cities of old, Whose street-lamps were diamonds and pavements were gold. And theirs is the spirit that rules there to-day All men there are hunters in this or that way ; Some hunting for pleasure, some hunting for pay, Some hunting for danger, some hunting for wealth, Some hunting for herbs that are good for the health, Some hunting with shot-guns, some hunting by stealth. Perhaps in the forest, perhaps in the brakes, Are circus-men hunting for monkeys and snakes, Geologists hunting the cause of earthquakes. There artists are hunting the picturesque view, And ladies hunt butterflies, green, buff, and blue, And beetles and bugs which they stick sharp pins through. But what their profession, these people agree They're all of them, all of them, hunters of thee, Thou nimble, elusive and fugitive flea. "From ' Songs of the Sun-lands,' " explained Rob- inson complacently, as he folded the paper. c ' No, I do not believe that Joaquin Miller ever ENTOMOLOGY. 195 wrote that," replied Stacy. "I believe you wrote it yourself ; it is such remarkably poor poetry." " Thank you, ma'am. I have such unbounded confidence in the unreliability of your literary judg- ment that I begin to have aspirations, and think I shall try again." fc; Do. For a young poet you have one great qual- ification. You are not ambitious in the choice of a subject, but restrict your muse to those themes to which it is adapted. Allow me to advise you to con- tinue as you have begun." ' ' My intention, exactly, ma'am. I have already in contemplation an ode to be read on your approach- ing birthday." If they had been married for ten years they could not have discoursed in a more domestic strain than this. The Naturalist, not yet being accustomed to these little logomachies, was alarmed, and at- tempted to lead the conversation aside. Said he : u Talking about the present subject, I was out to call on the missionary's wife last week, and the first words she said to me were, ' Oh, I have such a magnificent specimen of a pulga to show you. I put it in the Bible for safe-keeping.' And she opened that book, probably at some appropriate text " " 'The wicked flee,'" observed Chester, winking to his father. " and there it was, spread out like a pressed orchid. She picked it up in true Brazilian style ; that is, she touched her finger to her lips and then to the topic under discussion, just as if it was a bank-note. It was immense, and the lady was as 196 ROUND ABOUT RIO. proud of it as if it had been a rare butterfly. Now, there is a woman with the true scientific spirit. She cares for something more than gaudy colors in her collection. " "All this may go to prove that the subject at present before the house is very respectable, but it will take more powerful arguments to convince me that it is one of the comforts of life," remarked Robinson. " Or even necessary," said the Colonel. "I don't believe it's a climatic evil. I believe it's the ten million dogs that sleep on the pavement all day and raise the deuce all night. What Rio wants is a dog-law." "A dog-law and water- works," said Robinson. " And a new class of people and a new country to put them into," added the Colonel. "That's a great mistake you make there, Colo- nel, that idea of yours about the dogs. I used to be of the same belief until I spoke my opinion to a pious venda-keeper of whom I was making some purchases one day. ' No. no ! ' he cried. ' The dogs are our greatest boon. The good God gives us dogs so that the pulgas may not devour us. See, I have three dogs already, and still the pulgas worry the children. Ambrosina,' addressing his wife, ' we must have another dog. ' ' "Let's coax this hotel to buy a dog," pleaded Chester. "Last night I woke up in the night, and I had a flea in one hand and a mosquito in the other, and if that cockroach hadn't slid off the pillow just the minute he did, I expect I would have swallowed ENTOMOLOGY. 197 him raw. He was prospecting around my mouth when I woke up." "Oh, papa, papa," cried Stacy, "can't you stop that boy ? " "Cockroaches are nothing," persevered Chester. " Why, Polly's got a pet cockroach." "No, Chester," pleaded Pauline. "It's a bar- ata. Please call it a barata. It's so much nicer." It is perhaps well to state here that the cockroach of Brazil is not exactly the same animal as those which frequent the old dwelling-houses and restau- rant puddings of the United States. On the con- trary, it is a larger, better, and more estimable kind of a bug. In color it is brown, with white edges, of an autumnal, frost-bitten hue. In size it rivals a small mouse. In disposition it is sociable and affec- tionate, its curiosity not being that of the malevo- lent spider, but rather a friendly interest in human affairs. Let a man enter his room in the dusk, and it is necessary for him to pick his way carefully, else he will step upon one of these little creatures, as they run to meet him. The result is a startling pop as if a torpedo had exploded, the foot slips as if a banana peel were under it, and there is a streak of mangled cockroach on the floor, all of which is very unpleas- ant to a nervous temperament. But all of these facts were developed in the conversation of our party. "When I sit down by my table at night," said Pauline, " it climbs upon the books before me, and waves its feelers to me, and seems sorry for me, and 198 ROUND ABOUT RIO. I believe it's thinking, c Why isn't she having a good time, as little girls ought to have ? ' ' u Yes, Paul, I have one that acts just the same way," said Robinson. "It promenades around my feet, and seems to get fidgety about nine o'clock, and it thinks, ' In about another hour he will go to bed, then, when he is fast asleep and everything is still and quiet, then we'll get away with his boots. ' " "Boots ! " cried Chester. " You ought to see my red-leather prayer-book. " It is perhaps wise to explain here that the barata has a decided taste for leather, and that a pair of slippers is its favorite diet. This is probably because it considers that article its natural enemy, since it is with a slipper that the housewife always dispatches the roach. Pauline continued: " And when I walk across the floor in my bare feet, it rustles out of the corner and runs to me and tries to make me step on it. I don't like that so well. Ugh ! " and she lifted her shoul- ders in an attitude of dislike. "Oh, the pretty Juggernaut!" said Robinson. "But you must learn to be cruel, Paul. The day will come when a higher order of animals than cock- roaches will throw themselves under those little feet." Pauline did not understand him. ' ' But I think I like my other pets better, " she continued, musing. "They are never in the way." "What are they?" asked Robinson. "I didn't know you had any dogs and guinea-pigs." " Trust a child for finding pets wherever she may ENTOMOLOGY. 199 go," said the Naturalist. "No zone is so barren that it does not furnish material for a doll, and no living thing is so low that, in case of emergency, it may not be loved by one of these. A child's affec- tions are cosmopolitan." " I call them Twinkle and Whistle," continued Pauline. " My barata's name is Rustle." "I know," cried Chester. "It's the lizard and the locust. Just come down with me to the street- lamp and I'll show you the young crocodile whisk- ing around there on the glass after flies and mos- quitoes and millers. That's the way the little joker picks up a living. I say, what an easy time an animal must have that lives on bugs down here!" "Chirp ! Chir-r-p ! Chir-r-r-p ! Shri-i-i-i-i-i-ll /" came the note of a cigarra at this moment from the foliage without. " That's Whistle ! " cried the little girl, clapping her hands. "It knew I was talking about it. It sings for me every night. I do wish I could see it once." It was one of the greatest disappointments of Pauline's life that she never could see this cicada which sang so clearly for her from its retreat in the mimosas under her window, In her imagination it was as beautiful as a humming-bird at least, and to cloud her childish faith by telling her the truth about the insect was something that no one, not even Chester, had the heart to do. To this day it is the little girl's firm belief that it is not the sabia but the cigarra that is the song-bird of all others in Brazil. 200 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "As for me," exclaimed Chester, " I want a monkey to take home. That's pet enough for me. One of those microscopic monkeys that you can carry to school in your vest pocket and hide under the lining of the teacher's hat. I'll make a cage for it out of a match-box. You know what I mean the kind the darky women carry around the streets on their shoulders." "A marmoset," explained the Naturalist. " But a match-box would prove rather close quarters, I fancy, tiny as they are. It takes a cigar-box to make a palace for one of them. And I'm afraid you'd be a rough keeper for so sensitive an animal, Chester, and the probabilities are that its liberated ghost would haunt your dreams after the first week at sea. Once when I went over to Europe there was an English family on board who were trying to trans- port a pair of these marmosets, but it was in vain." "Why?" " They never would become thoroughly domesti- cated. Though not exactly afraid, they always seemed too delicate for the touch of human hands, and would shrink and sway away and utter piteous cries when even the gentlest overtures were made toward them. Finally a sailor stepped on the toes of one of them, and that was its death-blow. It held up its bruised foot for a day or two, refused its banana rations, pined away, and died." "What became of the other?" "The thoughtless boys had a habit of driving it out on the scorching decks, in the full exposure of the sun, to see it dance. As one of its tender feet ENTOMOLOGY. 201 grew too hot, it would raise it, soon dropping it to lift a second, then another, and another, and so on with increasing rapidity until its toes twinkled like a ballet-girl's. Once they were after it as usual, and had cornered it up on the extreme edge of the quarter-deck. It turned one despairing glance on its approaching persecutors, gave one piteous cry, and then jumped out into mid-ocean." " Poor 'thing ! Did it drown \ " "It turned immediately and swam after the ship, but it was an unequal race. We could see it easily as it paddled for dear life, rising and falling with the white foarn of the vessel's wake. Some kind- hearted person threw over a nail-keg for its relief. It made its way to it, climbed on it, and there we left it as it faded away into the distance. If I were asked to conceive a picture of utter desolation, I would find it here in this sensitive little castaway riding its frail buoy a thousand miles from shore." "No marmosets for me," said Chester, "if they've got no more backbone than that. I must have a pet that can stand it to be loved." "Get an agouti," advised the Naturalist. "And what in the world is an agouti ? " demanded Chester. "It is an animal with the head of a rat and the size of a cat, but with a more vivacious and enterpris- ing nature than either one of these beasts. On that same voyage, one of the stewards took an agouti home with him, and the farther it travelled the more it flourished. It soon became so tame that it could be taken up into one's arms with no more resistance ROUND ABOUT RIO. than a slight murmur of protestation. It made itself at home anywhere in the cabin, and also in such state-rooms as it could slip into in unguarded mo- ments, to the frequent hysterics of the ladies whom it surprised there. But it was at dessert, when the cracking of nuts was heard and the odor of fruit was in the air, that it became most affectionate. Then it would mount the bench and finally the table itself, where it perched itself on its hind feet, squirrel- like, and made short work with the almonds offered it." " What a barbaric table ornament!" said Stacy. u Barbaric, but not inappropriate, since it was a nut-cracker. Its voracity was unbounded. It would drop a nut that it had gnawed nearly through, in order to accept a fresh one that was placed before it. The passengers used to take pleasure in fooling it by presenting to its view the uninjured face of an almond- shell whose kernel it had already extracted from the other side. Instead of weighing it or turning it over to examine it, as a sensible squirrel would have done, this gormandizer would immediately chip into it with its sharp teeth and nibble it through before it discovered the hollow-hearted deception that had been practised upon it. Then it would drop it with an impetuous motion of disgust, only to be imposed on again and again. I think we derived more amuse- ment from this gullible agouti than from the sea-sick priest or the flirtation of the surgeon with the Span- iard's wife." XVIII. THE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER With clearer light, Cross of the South, shine forth In blue Brazilian skies; And thou, O river, cleaving half the earth From sunset to sunrise, From the great mountains to the Atlantic waves Thy joy's long anthem pour. WHITTIER. U ~TT"THAT particular blessed saint is all of this VV powder burned for ? " asked the Colonel, on the morning of the seventh of September, after a dawn made sleepless by the fizz and bang of un- timely pyrotechnics. "What saint?" replied Robinson. u Dom Pedro the First, the original ' Constitutional Emperor and Perpetual Defender of Brazil,' whom his subjects exiled half a century ago, and whom their descend- ants worship to-day. This is the Independence Day of the empire. " "Good enough!" exclaimed Chester. "That's where they are sensible, and have their Fourth of July come in the winter, so that if a boy burns his finger with a fire-work it doesn't hurt so bad. " " That is a wise precaution, and should be recom- mended to the statesmen and architects of future nations," replied Eobinson. " Our forefathers were so thoughtless. Now, if they had only postponed their Declaration of Independence nntil January, 204: ROUND ABOUT RIO. how much it would have added to the future comfort of our great republic, esto perpetual" " Let's go ! " cried Chester. " Where ? " asked his sister. " To the celebration, of course. Where is it ? " "Here, there, and everywhere," responded the Naturalist. " The streets are full of straggling en- thusiasm. But you have missed the cream of the demonstration, which was from midnight till day- break. You should at least have been up at dawn to hear the national hymn sung in a grand chorus of salute to the rising sun." u What odd hours they do keep here!" remarked Stacy. "It does seem odd to us sluggish Protestants, who are not in the habit of getting up for mass in the morning, or for five o'clock baths in the sea. But the Brazilians wisely enjoy the day while it is in its early flower, before the sun has wilted it." "Won't there be some speeches somewhere?" asked Robinson, in search of entertainment. "I doubt it." "Or an ode? Why, this is the poet's golden op- portunity. It would be so much cheaper to inflict his patriotic verses upon the public in person than to print them in the advertising columns of the paper." "I haven't been able to find any in the pro- gramme," said the Naturalist. " But it will pay you to walk out and take a look at the crowd. In visit- ing a foreign country one should never miss the op- portunity of seeing the people in their holiday dress, THE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER. 205 spirits, and etiquette. It is an excellent occasion for the study of human nature and national charac- teristics." "But is it not dangerous?" inquired Stacy, hav- ing in mind the disorder of similar occasions in New York. " And then the police seem so feeble." " So are the roughs of a mild type, and even yet more feeble. Their constitutions, probably weak and diseased from birth, are farther affected by the unhealthy circumstances of low life in a hot climate, so that they seldom display any great enterprise in crime, but limit themselves to such peccadilloes as the purloining of midnight chickens or chasing each other about the street with open razors, running ainuck they call it." "I would not consider that a very mild form of roughness," said Robinson. "I hope none of them will run amuck of me." " Oh, you are in no danger. In your capacity of distinguished foreigner, you are safe. When these capoeiros slaughter for fun and the glory of their households, they kill each other, and nobody cares. When they murder for business, they are in the em- ploy of the victim's enemy. Now, if you were a candidate for office in the approaching election it would not be strange if, in turning a street corner on some dark night, you were to encounter a negro who would draw a razor-blade across your person in the vicinity of your belt, and leave you there to die an unpleasant death. Or if you were an indepen- dent voter, and on election day should walk down the nave of one of these solemn old cathedrals 206 ROUND ABOUT RIO. whose dim religious light illuminates the ballot-box on the altar beyond, and if by chance you should hold in your hand a ticket for the wrong man, the zealous adherents some people call them merce- nary capoeiros of the right man might break your head with a club or eviscerate you with a razor. It's a way they have of doing here. As in the United States, the zealous adherents of the right man are very sensitive to any slight offered to him, such as voting for his opponent. However, since you are neither candidate nor voter, and, as I trust, are nobody's rival in love or business, you may con- sider yourself safe. Only I would advise you to keep a little shy of the vagabond darkies who prance and caper around a marching band of music. Music has wondrous power upon the savage soul, and, inspired by its strains, the dancing capoeiro is liable to shoot from his orbit at any moment and kill a spectator or two." "I don't believe I care about going out to-day," observed Stacy. "And I don't take as much interest in human nature and national characteristics as I did, " added Chester. " Have I frightened you ? I hope not. Consider my picture overdrawn, if you will. Running amuck is not so common a pastime as it used to be when the slave trade was yet in vogue and cargoes of un- regenerate Congo heathen were dumped on these shores. You'd better go. You will find a very de- cent, well behaved, and good-natured concourse of people, take my word for it. And as for danger, THE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER. 207 I'll venture to say that you will meet with none more terrible than a rocket stick or an American sailor." It was as he prophesied. Although the lively imagination of Chester saw murder in the face of every jovial negro, and a razor handle protruding from his pocket, yet they met with no rudeness or insolence from any source. They wedged their way through the densest masses of embodied patriotism, accidentally crushing a corn here and dislocating a toilet there, without provoking a single impolite remonstrance in the way of hustling, chaffing or malediction. The upper classes were conspicuously courteous, while the working people and slaves who compose the understratum of society very dirty, as it is natural for understrata to be were re- spectful even to servility. It was not even an enthusiastic crowd, as emo- tional display is incompatible with that dignity upon which the Brazilian prides himself. Besides, intox- ication, that prime motor of enthusiasm, was rare, and the moment a subject began to show signs of spread-eagleism he was led away to a "season of good living " as the police reporters facetiously desig- nate a term of imprisonment. It seems that these chroniclers of crime in every country will have their little joke, and that one man's misery is another man's mirth all the world over. Where the people mostly congregate on days of national rejoicing is the square of the Constitution, in whose centre stands the magnificent equestrian statue of Dom Pedro I, the finest and almost the only public work of art in Brazil. It surmounts a 208 ROUND ABOUT RIO. pedestal upon whose faces are four groups symboliz- ing the great rivers of Brazil, the Parana, the San Francisco, the Amazon, and the Madeira, each rep- resented by the wild Indians and wild animals that are characteristic of its valley. "Well, what do you think of him?" asked Eob- inson of Stacy, after they had gazed to their hearts' content. "He has a right kingly presence," she replied. "He must have been a popular man, if this statue does not lie. Such a man as that could ride down the street and carry the hearts of the multitude with him. There is more dash about him than about the present Pedro. This man could be a soldier, a knight, and a lover, as well as an emperor. Our Pedro looks too much like a college professor." " He was an awful rake," said Robinson. "Was he?" Stacy did not appear greatly shocked by this infor- mation. Strict though she was, she could pardon much to an emperor, and a handsome one like this. She gazed at the figure again. "No, he does not look like a very good man," she said. " Considering the fact that a colossal bronze stat- ue is not usually a correct index to the character of the person that it represents, I am willing to admit that you have passed a very just judgment upon the monarch before us." "You seem to know about him. Tell me his his- tory, please. My historical studies did not come THE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER. 209 down much farther than the Greeks and the Romans and Charles Y." " All right," responded Robinson, cheerfully. " Most happy to air my knowledge before an audi- ence incapable of detecting mistakes. ' let us sit upon the ground.' " "I think we'll find one of these benches more comfortable," interposed Stacy. " There, you have interrupted me in one of my best quotations, especially committed to memory for an occasion like this." u Beg pardon," said Stacy, humbly. " Pray go on." Robinson resumed the broken verse with varia- tions of his own. " * For G-od's sake, let us sit upon the ground, And tell sad stories~of the death of kings ; How some have been deposed some slain in war Some haunted by the ghosts they have deposed Some poisoned by their wives some sleeping killed; ' how Peter the First abdicated and went to Europe, and Peter the Second got a leave of absence and went to the Centennial ; how the daring hand of this dashing Peter the First snatched an empire from the wreck of Portugal's power, and the wise head and kind heart of the professorial Peter the Second have made this imperial estate respected among the nations of the earth. Chester, brace up. Listen to me, and stop your intrigues with those maidens fair. "A little more than half a century ago, this Peter the First was Prince Regent of the colony of Brazil, under his father. John the Sixth of Portugal. But, 14 210 ROUND ABOUT RIO. being an ambitious young man, he fretted under the yoke of the Court at Lisbon, and, in so doing, received the full sympathy of all Brazilians, who were ex- tremely jealous of the Portuguese satraps who ruled them in camp and court, and, with the example of the United States fresh before them, were anxious to put an end to foreign domination. Prince Pedro found his opportunity in the year 1822. He was then travelling with his suite up in the interior, in San Paulo. A courier came to him with despatches that were more than usually galling and oppressive. His princely spirit rebelled. Then and there, on the open plains of Ypiranga, he made his short and pithy proclamation, 'Independence or Death!' which speech, printed upon a badge, he made his subjects wear upon their persons, at the penalty of being exiled if they refused. " As you see, it turned out to be independence, and a prosperous one, too. So highly is the author of this independence esteemed, that he is known here, in rhetorical display, as the Washington of Brazil, than which no higher compliment could be paid. As the present emperor could with even greater fit- ness be called the Lincoln of his country, it will be seen that this empire has been exceedingly fortunate in its rulers, having escaped all of the intermediate Polks, Pierces and Buchanans." u But why did the Brazilians exile so excellent a monarch?" asked Stacy. 4 ' For the evil that he did in entertaining ultra- marine sympathies and in showing partiality to the hated Portuguese." THE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER. 211 " Then why did they build him this monument? It's all a puzzle to me." " For the good that he did in establishing their independence. Why did Brutus stab Caesar ? For the sake of imperilled Rome. Why did he weep over his death ? In memory of his fallen greatness. The exile was the stab which Dom Pedro received from his countrymen ; this statue and this day rep- resent the tears of love and gratitude with which they do him honor. Is it so strange a thing that a nation should be just as well as generous in its treat- ment of its heroes ? " "And so they have only had two rulers since they began housekeeping for themselves ? " ' ; Only two ; father and son. The present Pedro has occupied the chair since the compulsory abdica- tion of the first emperor in 1831, when the boy prince was only six years old." "I suppose I ought to be ashamed of myself for confessing such unpatriotic sentiments," Stacy re- marked, musing, "but I cannot help thinking that this stability of government is better than the transitory state of things over in these South American repub- lics, where they change their presidents as often as they change " " their other fashions," interposed Robinson, coming to her assistance. "Yes, we may as well admit that there is a possibility of good in a mon- archy, after all ; that is, for certain peoples, though of course it wouldn't do for us. In a country over- crowded with a penurious aristocracy, with an abun- dance of younger sons unprovided for and ashamed 212 ROUND ABOUT RIO. to work, nothing but an imposing throne and a rev- erence for it will keep the revolutionary spirit in subjection. To preach the theory there that any man may be president, is to incite the great horde of adventurers out of office to strive and plot and fight for this position by any means, fair or foul but mostly foul; and every few mornings a new dictator will ride into the chief magistracy with a hungry retinue behind him. As you are perhaps aware, Stacy, I do not admire the abject prostration of loyal Britons before their throne, however imbecile or dis- solute may be its occupant ; but still this reverence is good for the national quiet." " So are anaesthetics good for quiet," remarked Stacy. " But are they healthful ? " " Perhaps not. But there is no great danger that political ambition in any country will suffer from too much lethargy. As I was going to say, as long as England's chief place is reserved for the Lord's specially anointed, the great apple of discord is withheld from her statesmen ; the best that they can hope for is to be prime minister and power behind the throne, and that does not count much in the popular esteem. What is it that Pope said some- thing about a king being only a scarecrow of straw, but it preserves the corn all the same ? " " That's pretty talk for you," growled Chester. "Bight under the stars and stripes, too." Having resumed their walk, they were at that moment at a point in the street where they were almost fanned by the waving folds of an American THE SEVENTH OF SEPTEMBER. 213 flag which some lover of freedom had extended from roof to roof. " O the beauty !" cried Stacy, with fervor. u Let's stand under it. I feel as if I were in mj mother's arms again. I retract all of my heresies, and will never say so any more. Isn't the sight of it refresh- ing?" "And I, too, I come back to my first love," said Kobinson. "I didn't really mean what I said. I only said it out of courtesy to the national day of the country whose guests we are, as distinguished travellers always flatter the reception committees who come to meet them. I agree with you, Stacy. That's the finest flag that floats, and sailors all the world over agree that they can recognize these colors farther than the bunting of any other nation. Shall we give three cheers ? " "Not just here, please. But you may take off your hats if you wish." "Ah, there's the constellation for you," pursued Robinson. "There's the cluster of stars that illu- minates the world. "What is their boasted Southern Cross, compared with this ? And, by the way, what a gigantic fraud is that inconspicuous and irregular quadrilateral of lesser lights which they are pleased to consider cruciform in shape ! Why, in our north- ern sky I can pick out a dozen better crosses than that. G-oncalves Dias indulged his poetic license too far when he said that his skies had more stars than ours." "It seems to me that you are atoning almost ROUND ABOUT RIO. too zealously for your recent disloyalty," observed Stacy. " Oh, I am nothing if not patriotic. Just notice how airy and tasty our red, white, and blue are, and how flagrantly gaudy the Brazilian green and yellow appear. You see this combination everywhere, on the flags, the decorations, and the arches, and nature has even daubed it on some of the vegetation which grows here, for there is a shrub, with a green and yellow leaf, which is called the ' national tree ' or the ' imperial plant ' or some such characteristic XIX. HOME, SWEET HOME. She went through Sorocaba, Through Guaratingueta, Through Pindamonhangaba, Through Jacarepagua. At last in Cacapava A police captain brave Made up his mind to have her Arrested as a slave. ARTHUR AZEVEDO. 44 "TT'S awful bad, but it's so funny." J- This was Pauline's verdict on their household pet, Wicked, the parrot. This bird was a gift from the Naturalist, who had picked it up in the course of his Amazonian travels, and, holding that there is but one good use to which this unsentimental fowl can be put, which is to give him away, lost no time in transferring him to the Smith family. Robinson had christened him Depravity, but this name was soon corrupted into Wicked, a word equally expres- sive and more convenient. What there was so bad in this parrot, Chester could never understand. Be- sides, what is the use of having a good parrot ? You might as well have an owl, and be done with it. This one could not even swear, profanity being an accomplishment in which the Brazilians are sadly deficient ; and as for gossip or impertinence, he did not even know what these words meant. By degrees, as Chester's appreciation of Wicked 215 216 ROUND ABOUT RIO. grew fainter and fainter, his sisters came to like the bird, which was not slow to return their fondness. When little Pauline came near his perch, Wicked would step around uneasily in his stilted way, curve his neck to her, and call "J&minaf Menina!" until he received some notice from her hands. And when Stacy came to fondle him, he laid his beak of horn against her soft cheek, and with his toothless jaws he produced that indescribable labial sound which appears so broad and absurd in all attempts at printing it, except in the first impression of print- ing it upon another pair of lips. In other words, he kissed her. It was a trick that she had taught him, among other habits of our higher civilization. A course of one lesson was sufficient. With so great gusto did he take to his new task, that there can be no longer any doubt that there is something human in the parrot's intelligence and nature. " It's too funny for any thing, "said Stacy, as she received this token of affection ; and she laughed a quiet little laugh of amusement and delight. The parrot, imitative that he was, thought that a part of the lesson, put it away in his memory, and ever afterward, as he kissed his mistress, he blinked his eyes solemnly and relapsed into a chuckle of satisfac- tion which was half mockery, half echo of the girl's musical tones. "It's the parody of a laugh," said Robinson. " But as for the other part of the performance, it is perfect, and reflects credit upon the instructive pow- ers of his teacher. If this same teacher would like HOME, SWEET HOME. 217 to open an evening school of one scholar, I wouldn't mind joining the class." Yet Wicked continued to bear his misnomer and reputation of being a bad bird. Perhaps this was owing to his inordinate taste for opera bouffe. Like all the civilized parrots and people of Brazil, he knew the famous music of u Madame Angot," and could whistle it without missing a note. This was entertainment for Chester. "Hear! Hear!" he cried. "It is the national hymn of Brazil." "Why, Chester!" Stacy exclaimed. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself? " " It is," the boy maintained, stoutly. " I guess I know what I'm talking about. I guess I know something, if I am a boy. I know they've got, another one that they play twice a year, but that doesn't make it a national hymn, even if they do call it so. They can't make such things by law. Now, here's this ' Madame Angot,' everybody sings that, the circus horses dance to it, the girls play it upon their pianos, the music-boxes tinkle it, and the news- boys and parrots whistle it. If that doesn't make it national, what does ? " "I suppose you will say that we haven't any na- tional hymn, next." "Oh, yes, we have; lots of them, a new one every year. I don't know what's the rage this summer. 4 Gentle Spring ' and ' Hold the Fort ' were about the last on the roll." " Our boy is turning philosopher," observed Rob- inson. "Let's encourage him You're right, 218 ROUND ABOUT RIO. Chester. ' Hail Columbia ' is not a national hymn, even if they do play it when the militia get into their uniforms." "But I know one that is national " said Stacy. She went to the piano and sang ''Home, home, sweet, sweet home, Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home." Hers was not the voice of a bird, nor even of an operatic expert ; but as she forgot herself and her embarrassment and thought only of the home where her mother was waiting for her, she poured such pathos and yearning into this song of exile that the music swept through the sleepy old hotel like a breath of fresh air from the far distant north. In all parts of this Hotel of the Strangers in a foreign land, the guests felt its influence. It was like a child's laugh in a penitentiary. The strong men who were lounging in the chairs at the front door re- pented, and thought, one after another, "What a fool I am ! Here I am lazily going to the devil in this country when I might as well be back home and have such a girl as that for a wife." The late diners, yet at table, dropped wine-glass and banana and sat in silence to listen. Long before the end of the song, little Pauline had lost her face in the pillow of the sofa and was crying silently; while Chester, leaning back with his hands clasped above his head, thought: "Ho, hum! About this time the fellows are getting back to school again. I wonder who's got the biggest stories to tell about vacation ! " HOME, SWEET HOME. 219 Bemvindo, who was standing just without the door, in convenient reach, closed his eyes in rapture and learned every note as the music progressed. "Yer' good, ver' sweet," he said to himself, as it closed. At the end of the next half-hour he could whistle it in all of its depth of desolate longing. Then he gave it to the hall porter, who, loitering in the doorway, whistled it to the tilbury man who was waiting there. The latter worked it over as he returned down town, and taking up his stand there discoursed it for the benefit of the Italian bootblacks and the quadroon doce-vendors, and then it was popu- larized indeed. In this manner the beautiful music of "Home, Sweet Home," was introduced into Brazil. It was not recorded in the custom-house, nor was it advertised in the newspapers ; yet who shall say that Stacy Smith's contribution toward the enlighten- ment of Brazil was not as important as the truss bridges and the patented machines which her coun- trymen are constantly importing there ? It is necessary now to go to the third day after this in order to find the proper conclusion to this chapter. The evening's entertainment began with a little comedy, opened by Chester. The boy was amusing himself with Wicked, much to the latter's disgust. The boy was in a playful humor ; the bird was not. Chester invited the parrot to step upon his finger. The parrot retreated along his perch and said, in a tone of warning " Wh-r-r-r!" Chester's finger pursued, alternately stroking and 220 ROUND ABOUT RIO. punching the bird, which again gave the threatening signal " Wh-r-r-r!" This admonition not being regarded, and Wicked now having sidled to the end of his chain, he deemed himself justified in proceeding to extreme measures, and he deliberately took a bite out of Chester's forefinger. " O Pindamonhangaba ! " yelled the boy. This strange ejaculation appeared very like what one would suppose a Portuguese pirate's oath would be. At least, so thought Stacy. "Papa, papa ! " cried she. u Did you hear that? This awful boy is learning to swear." "Swear?" asked the Colonel, throwing aside his paper. "I am shocked. What did he say ? " Stacy felt neither competent nor inclined to repeat the expression. " Oh, I don't know what it was," replied she. " It was something dreadful." ' 4 It was the name of a little town out here in the country," observed Chester coolly, but with sup- pressed amusement. u Well, be careful, my child, how you ornament your conversation, or some day you may go to a worse place than what's the word ? " " Pinda-monhan-gaba," said Chester, beating time to the syllables. "You pronounce it in three times and six motions, as the soldiers say." "The word is common enough now, since the opening of the new railroad," said Robinson, "Jbut it is a recent acquisition to the popular language of HOME, SWEET HOME. 221 Brazil. Think of a language receiving so much acquisition, all in one word ! " "What a word!" mused the Colonel. "And what barbarity to teach Brazilian geography to an infant class ! " "It is not bad, if you only give it the proper cadence," asserted the Naturalist. "It is no worse than Jequitinhonha, Tupynambaranas, Paranapa- nema, and a thousand others of the same sort, not to mention ipecacuanha, jaboticaba, and the like, which are in common use. You see, they are Indian words, and the Italian language itself is not more beautiful than some of these aboriginal dialects when spoken with their native rhythm. Just hear me now." He repeated these words with the undulating in- tonation common in Brazil. Stacy was obliged to confess that, thus rendered, they were very musical. "Fancy how mellifluously c Pindamonhangaba ' must have rolled from the lips of an Indian prin- cess," continued the Naturalist. "Yes," growled the Colonel, "and fancy how mellinuously it must roll from the lips of a brake- man in a hurry as the train approaches Pindamon- hangaba. Under a Yankee management, this ex- traordinary word would be abbreviated in the first schedule. Beauty and melody are all very well in the nomenclature of railway stations, but time and convenience are the principal considerations, after all. But pshaw ! this people has yet to learn that names are made for use, and not for ornament or personal glorification. Just look at the Street of the Seventh 222 ROUND ABOUT RIO. of September, the Street of the Viscount of White River, the Street of the Fountain of Affectionate Longing, and the Street of the Volunteers of Their Fatherland ! A man could go to one of these places in the time that it takes to ask where it is." " When it comes to my favorite," interrupted Chester, " mine is the Street of the Little Princess of the Cashew Trees." 4 'All of these," continued the Colonel, "had other names a few years ago, and will change again as soon as certain events are forgotten or certain men die or go into disfavor. I have faint hopes of a nation that runs to words in that astonishing manner." The Colonel was disgusted. In the transaction of his business, whatever that might be, he had seen so many hours of time and sheets of paper wasted in salutations, signatures, and other ceremonials, that his practical nature chafed under the restraint of too much red-tape. "I know one place where the name ' Pindamon- hangaba' serves a very beneficent use," said Robin- son. " Where ?" "Down at the American restaurant. They have the Pindamonhangaba cobbler there. I have the honor to invite the gentlemen of the present com- pany around there in the morning to sample it." " I have yet to see anything particularly beneficent in this application of the word," said Stacy. " Let me explain," pursued Robinson. " It is this. It is easy to realize that a man must have more than ordinary control over his tongue to be able to call HOME, SWEET HOME. 223 for a second Pindamonhangaba mixed drink, and so this extreme length of word is conducive to habits of temperance." "Ah, indeed !" ' ' In fact, this is the shibboleth of the moderate drinker. As long as he can call for Pindamonhan- gaba cobblers in an unbroken voice, he feels tolera- bly confident that he can converse with his wife coherently and without self-betrayal. When he be- gins to doubt his condition, he walks over to the bar, and addressing the whiskey puncher there, says : 'Will you have the kindness to shake me up another Pindanoniongaba cobbler ? ' The mixer of drinks smiles blandly and replies, ' The article is not on our list, sir.' The man walks across the room, stares for a few moments at the advertisements on the opposite wall, collects his thoughts, bites his tongue to wake it up, and makes another charge on the bar. 'A Pin handagonhanjobber cobbler !' 'A what ? ' asks the brandy smasher, with an air of astonishment. 'A Panhandlegoandgetthere cob- bler.' 'Come, now,' says the gin-slinger. 'This is no time and place for joking. What do you want, any way V 'I don't believe I want anything more to-night,' replies the discomfited inebriate. ' I prom- ised my folks that I would be home about this time.'" Stacy had not evinced great interest in this reci- tal. She had gone to the window, and, at the first lull in the conversation, she turned with her finger on her lip. 224 ROUND ABOUT RIO. " Listen !" she said. " It is ' Home, Sweet Home.' Somebody is whistling it. I wonder where he learned it ? " She had already forgotten her lesson of a few evenings before. The notes were as clear and as plaintive as the song of a caged bird. "If my ears do not deceive me," said Chester, "that is Bemvindo's whistle." "Poor boy," said Stacy, compassionately. "I know there are tears in his eyes. I wonder if he is away from home, too." "Undoubtedly," replied Eobinson. "But 111 venture to say that a prize in the lottery wouldn't induce him to go back to it. He is too well fixed where he is. The boy doesn't know what he is whistling about. It is the music, and not the song, that is so affecting. The words are nothing. You can find better poetry any day in the trashy and transient contents of our literary weeklies. And yet some misguided admirers are putting up a monument to the author of the piece, when they don't even know the composer's name." "Oh, I don't like that talk!" protested Stacy. "It sounds unjust." "It's so," averred Robinson. "If you don't believe it, just sing ' Home, Sweet Home ' once to the tune of some Irish rollicking song, and mark the consequences." "Horrible ! " exclaimed Stacy, to whom there was something of sacrilege in the idea. "I don't like to shock you," continued Robinson. HOME, SWEET HOME. 225 " I know I'm hitting hard against some prejudices ; but in doing so I am constituting myself a defender of the great legion of worthy men who are forgotten while others wear their laurels, and one of these is the composer of the music of ' Home, Sweet, Home.' " " Will not some one assist me ? " pleaded Stacy. t ' Will not some one translate this song into Portu- guese, and then we'll see how quickly the people will adopt it." " It can't be done," replied the Naturalist. " The very first word of it is lacking. There is no such word as 4 home ' in all the Portuguese language, with that peculiar shade of meaning which makes the expression so dear to us. It is perhaps because there are so few homes, as we understand the word, in any of the tropical countries." " What I 'don't understand," said Chester, "is how they say they won't go home till morning." "Oh, they have 'residence' and 'domicile' and ' dwelling, ' which are sufficient for ordinary conver- sation, and also the antique and classical 4 lar' and the old Roman ' patria, ' which are very handy for their poetry and spread-eagle speeches." " I thought the Brazilians were a very domestic people," said Stacy. " They are. Their homeless condition is not their fault, but is due to ' the influence of their climate. ' There can be no real cozy comfortable home in a land of perpetual summer. It is the winter and the outside discomfort that knit a family together around the fireplace and lend a meaning almost sacred to 15 226 ROUND ABOUT RIO. the word. Just look at the course of life here, from beginning to the end of the year. There is no fireside except in the kitchen. If a lamp is lighted it immediately becomes a cynosure for a host of strange bugs. When the family are gathered to- gether they become stifled and irritable and call for elbow-room. So they lean idly over the cushioned window sill and gasp for fresh air, or sit in the garden and look at the stars, or wander aimlessly in the park till bed-time. Ah, it is the north-land that is the land of happy homes the land of walnuts and wassail, and the harder the storm without, the brighter the life within." "Let me see," said Robinson. "I think you have been away from the States some time now." " Several years," replied the Naturalist. " That accounts for your hallucination. The longer a fellow has been away from the paternal roof-tree the more he loves the place. Home is not like strawberries and cream, to be enjoyed on the spot. For my part, I think that a good hotel or a bachelor's club is a better place to live at than the best-regulated of homes. There you have no small children climbing over you at dinner time; no gen- tle sisters tidying up your toucador and putting everything in its wrong place, and then going through the pockets of your other pantaloons in search of love-letters and schutzenfest tickets ; and, best of all, your room is your castle, and no one knows what time you get home at night. They say that the author of the song in question never had a home. That is v he did not know what he was talking about, HOME, SWEET HOME. 227 but drew upon his imagination. I believe it. Poets do the same thing when they write about love. Yet who ever knew a poet to sing of love after he was once well married and knew what it all amounted to?" The advance of this heretical sentiment broke up the conversation. Stacy said "Good-night," and retired from the room. She went to Pauline's little cot and leaned over the sleeping girl, and with a soft hand parted the light hair floating over her fore- head. Then in the window seat she rested, looking out on the clear stars above and on the dark green tops of the trees below. The music of the players in the adjacent square floated to her in indolent waves across the fresh and fragrant air. One hour, two long hours, she sat there. Such hours as these are equal to the days of ordinary life, and by the thoughts of these hours let us judge our little friend, Stacy Smith. Hitherto we have seen her as, alas ! we are doomed to see most women, at their worst, in society ; now let us know her in her own true self. The world will have it that she, and all of us, shall be pert and worldly, trifling and foolish, full often when we would rather be true, simple, and thoughtful. It is the way of the hollow, conven- tional world. Sitting there, Stacy thought out a poem, and put- ting heart and brain together, she joined it with rhymes. Like a worker who invents some new design of fabric upon the loom, she was pleased, and smiled to herself as line after line grew, into shape. Then she wrote it down, not for the world to know, 228 ROUND ABOUT RIO. but that she might read it again in years long after- ward. It went into a little book with gold edges and creamy pages which only herself had seen. This was not a diary in which to record the time of rising, the state of the weather, and other commonplaces, but was a collection of those great experiences in her life which her heart could not keep to itself, while she felt that the person worthy to hear them had not yet come. These are the words that Stacy Smith, like the homesick Peronella of the fairy tale, wrote in her little book with its edges of gold : IT'S O, FOR THE APPLE-BLOSSOMS. The orange-flower is creamy, The coffee is waxen and white, The passion-flower is fervid, And, like a star in the night, The orchid-flower illumines The dense dark wood with its flame; But it's O, for the apple-blossoms Of the land from whence I came. The tropical inflorescence Is passionate, gaudy and bold ; It swoons in its heavy velvet, It shines in its dust of gold ; Its lips are warm with the sunshine, Its heart is glowing with heat, But better for me are the flowers Dewy and simple and sweet. And now I believe the story Of the peasant girl turned queen; How she said, " I am very weary Of the royal purple and green. HOME, SWEET HOME. 229 I am tired of the crown and the sceptre ; I long to lay them all down, And wear again with my people The kerchief and calico gown." I'm tired of the summer forever ; I'm tired of monotonous green ; I long for the change of the seasons, With winter, cold winter, between; So pleasant it is in the winter To sit by the window and think Some day all the trees in the orchard Will bloom in carnation and pink. The apple-trees in the orchard, The apple-trees by the door, Each tree is a blossom of blossoms And promise of fruit in store. The earth is tufted with beauty, The air is fragrant with spring, And there in the early morning The robins whistle and sing. I envy the farmer's daughter Who, after the day of rest, Walks down through the apple orchard With the one she loves the best ; And better than all exotics Which queens in their splendor wear, Is the spray of apple-blossoms With which he trims her hair. The flower of Lent is purple, And the flowers of Ipe Are golden and bright yellow Like the sun at close of day; And like a torch in the jungle Is the flame of the epiphyte, But it's 0, for the apple-blossoms I would give them all to-night. XX. BRAZILIAN POLITENESS. German simplicity still regards rudeness as a mark of courage and honesty, but a peep into our prisons would suffice to show that there are rude rascals as well as rude cowards. HEINRICH HEINE. " rr^HE great social question of the day," said the -L Naturalist, on one occasion, "is whether, for a transient acquaintance, it is better to meet an Eng- lishman, who will be bluff and bearish toward you and make you feel like an intruder, while his heart is overflowing with good-will toward you, or one of the more courtly Southerners, like the Brazilian for instance, who natters you with politeness until you are perfectly at ease, while all the time he is think- ing what a bother you are." " I'll take the latter," replied Robinson. " Give me at least the show of hospitality and I'll not go to the bother of sounding its depth. It was long ago decided that it is better for society to be pleasantly hypocritical than to be honest and rude. What is most politeness but sham, all the world over? and when your friends say 'Good-bye ' to you, how many of them mean it in the full breadth of its original 4 God be with you ' ? and when they say c Farewell, ' how many of them go into the details of wishing you fresh eggs and a clean napkin for breakfast ? " BRAZILIAN POLITENESS. 231 u But," persisted Stacy, "the old residents tell us that the Brazilian politeness is superficial and does not mean anything." " Go to, thou pretty cynic. Such words do not become such lips. Is a greeting likely to be more honest because it is less cordial? And are our 4 Farewell ' and ' Grood-bye ' the more forcible be- cause they are abbreviated and meaningless ? Should we distrust a hospitality simply because it has the semblance of hospitality ? I have yet to find in the English language a more charming phrase than the Portuguese 4 Passe muito bem ! ' and when our old lady friend, Donna Virginia, of Botafogo, pressed my hand and talked that way to me in her motherly way, it sounded like a blessing. It was a whole benediction in itself." " Talking about politeness," said the Naturalist, " there has been a wondrous change in Bemvindo in that respect since his associations with me began. He is becoming Americanized." " How so? " inquired Robinson. " He appears to me to be the model of deportment. Did he use to be any politer than he is now ? " "Yes to the churches. He would never go under the shadow of a church, no matter how vile and dirty its surroundings, without reverently lifting his hat. But my strong indifference to those taw- dry edifices discomfits him and makes him ashamed, and now he does nothing more than to watch when his neighbors uncover, and then he elevates his hat an inch and nonchalantly scratches his head, just as if he did not know there was a church within a mile. 232 ROUND ABOUT RIO. If I detect him in this subterfuge he looks foolish and falls to staring in the crown, as if to decipher the trade-mark or learn the name of his hatter. It's a way the boy has of compromising with his con- science. It's well to be polite to the priests, he thinks, while at the same time he has full confidence in me and thinks that what I do must be just about right. Some one has said that the world's great men are not great to their valets. With me this rule is reversed ; I am a hero to my valet, but unknown to the world at large. Indeed, I natter myself that he is so much attached to me that he would not willingly leave me under any circumstances, in this life or the next, and for that reason he accommodates himself to my customs." " I can see the aesthetic side," said Robinson, " of uncovering in the presence of the pretty churches that we have at home, where cleanliness and godli- ness are joined together ; but here, where one of those attributes can't be found within a block of the other, I am tempted to go to the other extreme, and hide my nose as well." "Please, Mr. Kingston," begged Stacy, "do not reform Bemvindo too much. That is quite possible, you know." "I will not. I still continue to beam upon him with encouragement when he touches his hat to the Emperor's carriage or lifts it to a passing funeral." " O, that is the prettiest custom ! " Stacy exclaimed. "Chester, I do wish you would cultivate that habit. It seems to make death so much less gloomy and severe when the people on the sidewalk pay this last BRAZILIAN POLITENESS. 233 courtesy to the passing stranger whom they have never seen before and whom they will never see again. I cannot help believe that it is in some way $, gratifi- cation to the dead. At any rate, it must be grati- fying to the mourners." " The mourners ? " said Robinson, in affected sur- prise. "Ah, you refer to the gentlemen who ride in the carriages behind, with their hats tilted on their heads, cigarettes in their mouths, and their feet rest- ing on the front seat. Yes, it must be highly grati- fying to them; if I mistake not, the fly was gratified by the dust which itself and the carriage-wheel raised. And now that I come to think seriously about it, it must be pleasant for a fellow on the eve of death to realize that there will be some one who will do him honor on his way to San Francisco Xavier ; and if his mother and sisters are prohibited by social custom from accompanying him thither, and if the young men of his club must smoke cigars and talk opera and bull-fight on the way, then welcome be the thoughtful tribute of the stranger. It's a queer country, this." " I agree with my sister Anastatia," said Chester, contributing to the conversation, " that funerals are not so gloomy and severe here as they are at home. I saw a coffin in a hack for a hearse yesterday, and it was drawn by four white horses, and the hack was trimmed with red and yellow, and the coffin was as stylish as a ball-dress. There wasn't a bit of black about the outfit except the driver's eye. There was nothing slow about that funeral, I tell you what." "There is another circumstance that helps disarm 234 ROUND ABOUT RIO. the King of Terrors," said Robinson. " It must be an eminently consolatory thought, to a person who has hitherto been condemned to a proletarian til- bury-and-street-car existence, to reflect that the day is bound to come when he will keep his carriage with the best of them." "Speaking of street-cars," said Stacy, "I saw a lady at the station on the Ouvidor try to find a seat in one, and not one of the thirty or forty gentlemen there would give her his place. Do you call that politeness ? " "Not conspicuously polite, perhaps," answered Hobinson, u but it showed very good sense on their part. Why should they, indeed ? The world is not in the habit of giving up its engaged chairs at the theatre, or its engaged berths in a sleeping-coach, to any strange female that may happen along. Then why should they not be equally rude in a street-car? Away with this special etiquette for horse-cars, I say. What business had she to try to crowd in when it was full and she knew it? There are seats inside of the waiting-room provided for just such belated per- sons as this of yours. And yet the average woman will wedge her way into an omnibus that has twelve passengers on each side and as many more sus- pended to the straps down the middle, and will trust to her superior powers of browbeating to gain her a comfortable seat." "But woman is so weak and helpless." ' ' Not always. Many a time I have been contempt- uously frowned upon by a woman who could throw three of me out of the window, just because I would BRAZILIAN POLITENESS. 235 not sacrifice m y comfort to hers. And this street-car heroine of yours didn't you notice that she had her arms full of little packages ? She had been bully- ing and wearying dry-goods clerks and milliners all day. And didn't, you notice the haggard and ex- hausted look of the men in the car ? They were the clerks whom she had been worrying." " You are not chivalric, Mr. E-obinson. I am not at all proud of you." "Oh, yes, I am, Stacy another Sidney. I will give up my ease any time for the refined, the aged, the weak, or the weary, even if it is a milliner's girl. But not to a woman simply because she is a woman." 4 'You must remember also," said the Naturalist, u that the Brazilians are not yet accustomed to see- ing their real ladies upon the public street and in the market place, and it is hard for them to realize that their women are becoming emancipated from their prison houses, and are becoming enfranchised with the privileges of gossip and shopping, like those of the more advanced northern civilization. That is one reason for the lack of politeness in the public con- veyance." " If you are against me, I suppose I must yield," said Stacy, disconsolately. " But do you admire the social customs here ? " " Some of them, very much. The devotion of children to parents is certainly most admirable. There is my friend of the Amazonian travels, for in- stance. Although he has incurred the sacerdotal displeasure by declining to kiss the flabby hand 236 ROUND ABOUT RIO. which the priest extended to him, giving it a jovial shake instead, yet he never leaves his parents with- out paying them this tribute of respect. In the life upon the street, also, we notice much that is cordial and hearty. You see a waterman, with his tub of water balanced upon his head, pass the door of a private house, in which a little darky domestic is sitting. The waterman says a few words of saluta- tion, and the moleque touches his cap in reply, as respectfully as if answering a king. And those same watermen, when they pass under a window from which you are leaning, mutter some kind of a pax vobiscum upon you, and go their way without look- ing back for a response or small change. It is not obsequiousness, but the respect of one human being to another, and as long as it is not obtrusive it is very pleasant indeed. It is something like the old plantation life in the South, perhaps." "But we are Yankees. We are independent," boasted Chester. "We don't waste our time in such nonsense." "I will tell you a story, Chester. It was some years ago, on the second of December, which is the Emperor's birthday, that three or four American sea captains, young fellows, were making the rounds of the city, and found themselves in the Palace Square as the Emperor went by to the chapel. These men were full of whiskey and mistaken patriotism. At home they were the poorest citizens, abroad they were the loudest boasters. They also said, ; We are Americans. We are independent. Each of us is a monarch in himself. We will be BRAZILIAN POLITENESS. 237 blessed or something worse if we take off our hats to this man, as these minions around us are doing.' And they kept their word. They made themselves so conspicuous by their impoliteness that the Emperor himself noticed them, and as he passed he gave them a lesson which they never forgot. In his most courteous manner he lifted his own hat, and with that kingly grace of his, he said, 4 Good morning, gentlemen.' This action took all of the swagger out of our countrymen, leaving them almost too weak to stand alone. " Now," concluded the Naturalist, " granting that each of us is a monarch a mischievous idea which is instilled into the American child at an early age is that any reason why we should not be polite to a fellow monarch when we meet him? " ; 'And I also," said Robinson, "have a story to tell you, Chester. It is about President Grant, whom I watched one cold and frosty morning as he was stubbing along Pennsylvania Avenue, with cigar and cane, taking his tonic exercise. A young woman poorly clad, probably a shop girl, went by, and as her eyes met his the light of admiration and recognition came into her face. He observed it, and, moved by the instincts of the true gentleman, his hand went to his hat and lifted it in a courteous bow. Never will I forget the expression of amazed delight with which the girl received this mark of deference. Here was a renowned conqueror of armies and ruler of states saluting her, poor little her, whom a lieutenant of marines or a government clerk would despise. I'll warrant that this was the 238 ROUND ABOUT RIO. rosiest of all the red-letter days of her existence, and that she will never weary of telling this story to her children and to her grandchildren after them. So you see, Chester, that pomp is no indication of power, and that true greatness is more often gra- cious than haughty. Was not even Brutus gentle to the sleepy boy Lucius ? " Chester affected contrition. u After this," said he, "I am going to be very polite. I will embrace every person I meet, and hug them right and left-handed." "Don't you do it, Chester," warned Stacy, with severity. u I never saw anything so ridiculous as two grown men embracing each other like a couple of bears." "Or a couple of women," added Robinson. "I agree with you there, Stacy. Against this form of gush, the cold-blooded Saxon may well rebel. The masculine mind of North America is early taught that there is but one class of beings intended to be hugged, and that is well, it is not the bearded men. I have reflected deeply on this subject, and the only practical benefit that I can see in this close communion is to brush your nose across your friend's moustache, ascertain what brand of cigars he smokes, and so determine as to the advisability of continuing his acquaintance. " U I think it's a first-rate idea," persisted Chester. "I've been taking lessons of old Joe Walker down at the docks. Its fun to see him embrace a Portu- guese when there are other Americans around and he feels a little ashamed of himself. First he throws BRAZILIAN POLITENESS. 239 his left arm around the fellow's neck, gets an under hold on the other side, gouges his chin into the chap's right shoulder, squeezes like a cider-press, winks with his left eye and spits out of the right corner of his mouth ; this is what he calls keeping up an equilibrium. Then they reverse the opera- tion, and hug over the other shoulder.'" u Chester, I think there are other accomplish- ments more necessary to your welfare than this," advised Stacy. "No, indeed. I am getting this to astonish my young lady friends with when I go home." At this moment Stacy rose to cross the room for some purpose, and incautiously passed close to Chester. U I must keep up my practice," he said, and be- fore the girl could resist he had enveloped her in his arms and was winking at the company from the vicinity of her right ear. Then, quick as a flash, he changed positions, and his clown's face appeared on the other side, while his chin was working pain- fully into her shoulder. ' c Go away, you awful boy ! " she cried, throwing him from her, and seeking her room in order to smooth her ruffled temper and dress. XXI. HAIL TO THE CHIEF. Call all your tribes together, praise the gods, And make triumphant fires; strew flowers before them. SHAKESPEARE. " "TTTHEN the Emperor comes." VV Such had been the universal response to all pleas for political reform, all projects in public enterprise, and all of the hopes of the business men. When the Emperor should come, the price of codfish would fall, the parched mountain sides would yield more water for the thirsty city, the fever would stop its ominous advance, and the clear light of prosper- ity would again shine upon a nation over which the clouds of corruption and disaster were settling fast. " Let's go and see the party land," Chester sug- gested. "I can't offer you a private box in one of the windows of that locality, for they're selling at fifty dollars apiece ; but I know where there's a first- rate street corner to stand on, provided some one hasn't got it." Kobinson and Stacy felt that they could not, in justice to themselves, refuse so liberal an offer, and they complied. The Street of the First of March, which was the route from the landing place to the Imperial Chapel, was strewn with the green leaves of the mango and cinnamon trees. 940 HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 241 "I did not think these horrible streets could be made so pleasant," Stacy remarked. "This is as fresh and fragrant as a lover's lane." "Or a bridal path to church," added Robinson. ' 4 Here they come. Viva o Imperador ! Shall I yell and toss high my ready hat in air, Stacy ? " "Please, don't. This is not our affair, remem- ber. You are not after any office, and I am not anxious for any court favor, so we'll just stand aloof, like the spectators and foreigners that we are." Thus the Imperial pair came home again. On foot and bareheaded, with the Empress on his arm, Dom Pedro Segundo advanced upon his triumphal entry into power again after a long experience in that easiest of all conditions, private citizenship. His brow assumed again the graciousness and dig- nity of one who has been for forty-five years an ac- ceptable sovereign. And though there were tall men in his retinue, he was half a head above the tallest ; and though there were fine-looking men among them, none could compare with him. In a word, he was the man whom a stranger, judging by the laws of natural selection alone, would unhesitat- ingly designate as most worthy to. rule. Where in all of the monarchical world is there another body of king and council of whom the same may be said ? The procession having passed, the crowd scattered and went their several ways. The vivas, like the rockets, became more desultory. The Italian boot- black, who had been adding his musical accents to the prevailing jargon of greeting, now subsided into a quiet c ' Viva o Imperador shiny your boots 16 242 ROUND ABOUT RIO. cemreis!" pointing to Chester's soiled shoes as he passed our party. "I think the show is over for this morning," said Robinson. "Let's walk down the Ouvidor and see the people from the country, and view the prepara- tions of the committee of arrangements, and count the arches that they have made." In making this tour, they stopped once to con- sider the decoration of a piece of architectural pa- geantry which was built across the street. It was yet incomplete, and near at hand two men, un- disturbed by all the turmoil around them, were at work, sawing out some scantlings for its frame. They were situated like sawyers in a pit, one stand- ing upon a heavy plank and the other underneath, alternately pulling and pushing the serrate blade that was dividing it in twain. The mechanical, in- dolent industry of these laborers was remarkable ; they worked, but it was apparently without exertion ; they followed the line, but seemingly took no thought of it. "They are asleep," said Stacy. " Oh, no ; don't you see their eyes are open ? " "But their sense is shut, I tell you. And look ! that man's toe is right on the line." "Trust him for taking it up before the saw reaches it." They watched the progress of the saw with re- doubled interest, and Stacy's face glowed with the excitement of the moment. Robinson could feel her hand tremble on his arm as those glittering teeth bit and withdrew, bit and withdrew, at every stroke HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 243 a half an inch nearer to the luckless great toe, which was the object of so much concern. " Please, speak to him," begged Stacy; but Rob- inson was obdurate. At the next sweep the saw just grazed the nail of the toe. The man stirred uneasily, and was half aroused to consciousness, like one who has been troubled in his sleep. Again, and those hungry teeth got a good bite into their prey, cruelly tearing both nail and flesh. The victim was thoroughly awake now. He dropped the handle of his imple- ment and picked up his foot instead, caressing it with much fervor. " Oh, why didn't you tell him ?" Robinson felt guilty. 4 ' How should I know that he was going to vivisect himself in that raw style ? Well, I declare ! I've heard of the man who was too lazy to go in when it rained. I'll believe it now. I am ready to believe anything. What a peculiar thing this tropical temperament is ! What a study for a psychologist !" "It must be the influence of the climate," sug- gested Chester. U 0ome on, Stacy. Let's leave this scene of car- nage. I feel faint. There is a restaurant over there, and, for a wonder, the customary gang of politicians are not haranguing at its doors to-day. There is generally a crowd of idle and wordy young doctors there, obstructing the sidewalk and imperil- ling the lives of peaceful citizens with their gesticu- lations. Shades of Talleyrand ! how this nation does 244 ROUND ABOUT RIO. run to young doctors, and how these doctors run to politics!" " Doctors?" said Stacy, inquiringly. " Yes, doctors. In other words, college gradu- ates, too numerous to be lawyers and professors, and too proud to go into business. So, if they can't get a Government clerkship under the ruling party, they do the next best thing and air their talents on the side of the opposition, pointing out the breakers and the demnition bow-wows toward which the ship of state is bound." ' ' Bemvindo asked me once - if father was a doc- tor," said Chester, "and when I told him no, he seemed disappointed and I thought he turned up his nose a little." " That was simply a way of asking if your father was a man of any importance. You ought to have said yes, that he was a sabio of the first order. " " But where are all of these educated young doctors to-day ?" asked Stacy, looking around the gilded hall as if she wouldn't mind seeing some of them. " Oh, this is an off day for politicians. All of them, malcontents, liberals, and republicans, are loyal citizens to-day. This, you will perhaps remem- ber, is the day of Dom Pedro's return, and all of the people, no matter how much they may be op- posed to imperialism, respect and welcome their em- peror. " " And there are republicans here, are there?" * "Yes, indeed, a good many of them, open and avowed. They even support a paper. I'll get you a copy of the Republic some time." HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 245 " I shouldn't think the authorities would allow it." " On the contrary, the Emperor fosters it, and thus kills it with kindness, as it were. He is acute enough to know that all heart-felt principles, whether of the church or state, thrive under persecution, and so he does not persecute. If any one were to speak to him of a possible republic in Brazil, he would proba- bly receive the idea with equanimity and nominate himself for first president. It is probable that he would be elected, too, though perhaps with less pay than four hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year." "Does he get that?" " All of that, and his wife gets a salary also." " Happy wife ! But what does he do with so much money ?" ' ' Gives it away, most of it, to the unfortunate and deserving. With the exception of a shabby palace or two, for which I would not trade an ordinary house on Fifth avenue, he is a poor man to-day, and probably will be when he dies." u Poor fellow!" sighed Chester, who, in the meantime, had been sampling various refections, cooling, refreshing and invigorating, and recom- mending them to the favorable consideration of his friends. u But isn't it funny that they ask us if we want our drinks iced !" said the boy. "Why, of course we do. That ought to be understood." " Not here, Chester. Ice has not yet become the necessity here that it is in our country, where it grows by the acre. It is a kind of a luxury here, 246 ROUND ABOUT RIO. and you will find that it is counted as an extra in the bill. It is to this people as wine is to ours, a sort of an unfamiliarity to the common classes ; and when the Brazilian who has been north wishes to impress his home folks, he orders up a dish of macadamized ice, and that stamps him a swell." ' ' I know one young Brazilian to whom ice is not an unfamiliarity, ". replied Chester. "That's that planter's boy from Minas, that goes gaping around our hotel, astonished half to death all the time. The first day he came here I found him standing in the hall when I came out from dinner. I was coddling a piece of ice in my hand, just to keep cool, and see- ing that he was a stranger I thought I'd be polite to him and give him some. So I put it where it would do the most good, and dropped it down the back of his neck. Oh, I thought I should die! " Here, with great bursts of laughter Chester en- joyed the scene over again. "That wasn't very nice of you," reproved Stacy. " You ought to have been ashamed. What did the little fellow do ? Did he cry ?" "No, he didn't cry; he howled. He danced and grabbed at the slippery thing, but he couldn't get hold of it until it came out of his trousers' leg down by his ankle. Then his mother came running up, and I had sudden business elsewhere." "It's evident that ice is a novelty on the planta- tions up in Minas, " remarked Robinson. ' 4 1 saw this same chap's little sister draw a piece into her mouth from her wine and water the other night, and she also went into convulsions of tears and alarm. HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 247 All of this goes to prove that our inordinate demand for ice is an unnatural and acquired taste, and it is certainly as unhealthy as it is unnatural. Every glass of ice water that we take administers a shock to the nervous system ; and yet our temperance peo- ple at home go on shocking themselves into dyspep- sia and the grave while protesting against the use of a glass of harmless and nutritious beer." " I don't think I will ever care for ice water again," observed Stacy. " Its effect is almost painful to me now, after drinking so long from these Brazilian moringueSj whose water is always like an October morning, just the right temperature for comfort. When I go home I am going to take some odd speci- mens of moringues with me, and keep them filled with drinking water in artistic and convenient posi- tions around the house. In the present rage for bi- zarre pottery and rude and mystic earthenware, I think these barbaric vases of porous clay will be just the thing." "But don't get up in the night and drink out of them blindly," warned Chester. " There's always a barata inside taking a sip, and when you tip up the jug and put its mouth to your lips, the water wets the bug's heels and he rushes madly out, lands on your nose, and runs all over you like a cold shiver before you know what's the matter with you. Mind what I say, now. There's always a barata inside. I've tried it a hundred times and he never failed to be there." " Oh, Stacy ! " sighed Kobinson. " And has the ceramic art distemper reached even you on this far- away shore ? Well, we'll go out some day and see 24:8 ROUND ABOUT RIO. what we can find in the way of meringues. They have them in all shapes birds, animals, fruits, hu- man figures, jars, urns, amphoras, barrels, flagons, and champagne glasses. We'll go to the crockery- shops first, and then we'll visit Professor Hartt's quarters, at the Geological Survey. I think we can get some hints there. They have a complete mu- seum of the ceramic art, picked up here and there throughout Brazil." "And battle-axes, and clubs, and corals, and dia- monds, and crocodiles, and crabs, and burial vases, and preserved Indians ! " cried Chester, who had been there. " You ought to go." "Talking of crockery," resumed Robinson, "this is my hobby i\iQ paliteiro," and he picked up the toothpick holder from the table. It was in the form of a peasant girl, holding above her head an um- brella, which was pierced by the splinters of wood; apparently it had been raining toothpicks. ' ' Now this is something new in paliteiros, " he said. "A decidedly unique design, and one which is not numbered in my collection. I've a notion to pocket it." "Are you making a collection ?" asked Stacy. " Yes, since confessions of weakness are in order, I am. I think I have about all the other styles the quiver of arrows, the bundle of rockets, the por- cupine with his quills, the star-fish, the pin-cushion, the image of fright with hair standing on end, and all the rest." "But the paliteiro does not form a part of our table service at home." HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 249 " Then we'll introduce it. We have been abroad, you know." " Say, Henry, I've thought of something. I've read in French history that Admiral Coligny was devoted to toothpicks, and that he was rarely seen, in his study, in the council, or in the field, without one be- tween his teeth. It was a personal peculiarity of his, like Jackson's cane or Thurman's horrible hand- kerchief. Now, I wonder if he introduced the cus- tom of toothpicks in Brazil at the time that he sent over that pilgrim band of Huguenots under Yille- gagnon, in the days of Luther, Lefevre, and Calvin." " I don't know, indeed ; but if that's the case, the evil has outlasted the good : the true faith endured only four years, while the toothpicks have come down to us through nearly four hundred." ' ' When are you going to take us over to Yillegag- non Island, Henry? You promised to." u I don't see the beauty of the trip," he replied. "There's nothing there but a hot sand-bar, with a palm tree or two, and a fort. What do you expect to find on that sacred spot, any way ? Rusty Bible clasps and halberds and broken crucifixes?" "No," she said sturdily, "but I do expect to find a sacred spot, as you say ; and if you had any reverence about you, you would be glad enough to make a pilgrimage to the place where our religion was first preached in the New World." "What is all this about?" asked Chester. "I'll tell you," Stacy answered. "I think you'll sympathize with me, Chester, for you have the Huguenot blood in your veins, and take a little pride 250 ROUND ABOUT RIO. in the history of your religion. In 1555, in the cen- tury in which Columbus died and Shakespeare was born, while Walter Raleigh was yet a baby in his mother's arms, the first colony of French Protestants crossed the ocean and landed on this Yillegagnon Island out here in the bay, not over half an hour's sail from here. Think of that, Chester ! That was a long, long lifetime before the Mayflower came to Massachusetts. Why, when I realize that fact, Ches- ter, and consider that our mother was a Lefevre and descended from a branch of these same French Huguenots, those stuck-up Puritan families over in New England always seem to me just like parvenus." u That's what they always seemed to me," said Chester, complacently. "I may not be much of a judge," said Robinson, ironically, "but it seems to me that the meek and lowly spirit of the Reformed Church and its early martyrs does not pervade the present conversation to any great extent. On the contrary, it does seem to me to be decidedly worldly and vainglorious." " Oh, get out, Rob !" answered Chester. " What do you know about such things ? I don't believe your ancestors had any religion. If they did, they didn't bequeath much of it to the present generation. Maybe you didn't have any ancestors. We never hear much of them, at any rate." "I am heartily glad that I cannot run my pedi- gree back as far as the settling of Yillegagnon Island. I would hate awfully to connect with this crowd of Protestant pioneers, which Stacy gets so sentimental HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 251 " And why not, indeed?" she asked, indignantly. "Because they were decidedly a disreputable body, made up of adventurers, fugitives from jus- tice, and criminals from the jails, with a very little leaven of earnest and pious men." "Oh, I don't believe it." "It's really so, Stacy. However, they were every bit as respectable as the first families of Vir- ginia, and of numerous other localities where the present generation boasts of its descent from the original settlers. The trouble with these founders of new peoples is that they are all adventurers, in not the best sense of the word, and they are not such folks as you would like to admit into your set, Stacy. So, I can't help but ask, why be so fond of their children's children ? William the Conqueror's knights were filibusters just as much as Walker's comrades in Nicaragua ; the difference is that one succeeded, while the other did not." "But these ' adventurers,' as you call them, are useful in their sphere," argued Stacy. "Exactly. Their rash enterprise is good for the political world, just as thunderstorms give new life to the air, and freshets strengthen the Nile Valley. As Emerson says, 4 Out of Sabine rapes and robber forays real Homes and their heroism come in ful- ness of time.' Besides, it is in the nature of things that the pioneers of the soil should come from the flotsam of the society from which they emigrate, for the solid, prosperous, and law-abiding citizens live and die at home, leaving their business and social position to their sons after them. It is the victims 252 ROUND ABOUT RIO. of misfortune, folly, or disgrace, who seek new homes in new lands ; and why should you or I, Stacy, be proud to own one of these as the stock from which we sprung ?" u But do not honest and sensible folks move some- times ?" asked Stacy, remembering certain May-day experiences of her own family. k ' Oh, yes, go down to Castle Garden almost any day, and you will see a cargo of emigrants come ashore. You will hold your dress aside as they pass, for they are not pleasant to associate with. Yet these people will go to Minnesota and establish them- selves there, and in two hundred years or less their descendants will be wealthy and powerful and be laying the pleasant unction of ; old family ' to their souls, and people like you will respect them for it, like you, who despise the original founders of these families as they pass through Castle Garden. Or, I see, in my imagination, a dusty, sunburnt traveller crossing the plains with his family and all of his worldly goods stowed away in the wagon which is their only home. He goes to Colorado, ploughs a farm or sinks a mining shaft, and fortune smiles upon his efforts. His son will go to college, and in due time to the Senate. His grandson, silly and dissipated, knowing no higher ambition than to lead the German and lounge about the clubs, will accom- pany the Senator to Washington and be received with open arms for the sake of his family. Now I respect the dusty and sunburnt emigrant; you re- spect his dissipated grandson. That's where we dif- fer, Stacy." HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 253 4 ' That picture is overdrawn, Mr. Robinson. Fam- ilies don't become old in two generations, even in our country. " " Don't they ? Go to Utah, among the Mormons, and see. There they date from 1846, or thereabouts. And on the Pacific coast the bearded miners of 1849 are already an aristocracy which is daily becoming more honored and respectable. If those self-exiled Johnny Rebs up here on the Amazon have not social distinctions between the old residents and later ar- rivals, they must have left the American spirit be- hind them when they shook the American dust off their feet." u That is nice talk, indeed ! You ought to go to France and be a communist, Henry. There you might find some congenial spirits who do not know who their fathers and mothers are." " You mistake me, Stacy. I have no particular objection to knowledge of that sort. On the con- trary, I consider a genealogical record a most excel- lent thing to have in a family, as a matter of curi- osity and legal convenience. But we've no right to be proud of it, even if there are illustrious names upon its pages, for according to our republican insti- tutions, of which we boast so much, honor is not hereditary. It is every generation for itself, and ob- scurity for the unworthy. "Where are our Presi- dent's sons, from Washington down?" u Have you never heard of one named Adams? I'm not going to let such sophisms cheat me out of the feeling of pride which I have when I think of my Huguenot ancestors," said Stacy, with a ring in 254: ROUND ABOUT RIO. her voice. u The brave men, who sacrificed home and all in defence of the truth as their hearts under- stood it ! " " What right have you to be proud of them ? It wasn't from any influence of yours, was it, that they were what they were ? On the contrary, Stacy, if I were you, and could count among my ancestors some devoted Huguenot to whom prosperity or adversity, home or a foreign land, were as nothing compared with the principles of that eternal truth which changes at the order of neither priest nor pope, I would be filled with a sense of overwhelming shame to think what a plaything, a fashion, and a Sunday garment our religion of the present day is. Not pride, but remorse, would be my portion as I would think how the race had degenerated in these two hundred years, and would hold myself responsible for my share in the decline." " Perhaps, if you took the trouble to examine your family history, you would find that your race has degenerated also. I know it has since your father died." Stacy was becoming sarcastic. "I do not doubt it," replied Robinson, compla- cently. "I do not doubt that my lineage is full of dukes and martyrs, if I only took the trouble to hunt them up. The aristocratic name of Robinson is sufficient guarantee of that. But I save myself this trouble and the consequent remorse by main- taining an indifference on this subject, and now I can look back over my shoulder to my forefathers, as far as I can see them, and say, with a clear con- HAIL TO THE CHIEF. 255 science, ' Cast no reproach on me ! I am as good as you. I have kept the talent which you transmit- ted to me, and lo, it has suffered no loss, no harm, no stain in my possession. Perhaps, O shades of my fathers, it has even increased a little in value, but that's not for me to say.' This is a very com- fortable reflection to make, Stacy, and I'm sorry you and other members of ' good families ' can't indulge in it." Stacy thought a moment, and then laughed at the oddity of the idea and the self-complacency of the man who made it. There is nothing like a laugh for breaking up a bitter war of words. It is oil upon the troubled waters. XXII. OUE LADY OF THE KOCK. Upon this rock I will build my church. MATTHEW xvi, 18. ONE Saturday morning in October, the boy Ches- ter, assuming an air of business, remarked: "I understand they're having a camp-meeting somewhere out in the country, and I am thinking of getting up a party to go out there to-morrow. Who wants to go?" " Who, indeed?" said Stacy, with a frown of dis- approval. "Better go, sis. To-morrow is the big day, so Bemvindo said. I guess the presiding elder is going to be there, or something of that sort. Besides, I could mention some members of the Smith family who have neglected their piety lately." "What is the boy talking about?" Stacy asked. The Naturalist came to her relief. " It is the Festa of Nossa Senhora da Penha Our Lady of the Rock," he explained. u To-morrow will be the last of the nine days of celebration, and it will be the day of all religious days in the year. The affair is really worth seeing." " Do you know where the place is ?" u ]STot this particular church of Our Lithological Lady, but I have seen several similar ones in Brazil, all perched upon Gibraltars of rock. There is one 256 OUR LADY OF THE ROCK. 257 in Victoria, up on the coast, which the lightning strikes regularly once a year. It is a wonder that the Sugar Loaf is not crowned with a chapel of this name." "It must be very interesting. But how can we ever find the way there ?" Kind offers of guidance were now in order, but they came from an unexpected source. "I'll show you the way," cried Chester, launch- ing out in a parody on Rio nomenclature. u We only have to follow the crowd. It's down the Street of the Day Before Christmas and through the Lane of St. Peter and the Washerwoman, then up the Street of St. Patrick's Day in the Morning and across Purgatory Square to the Wharf of the Italian Eel- Skinners of the Fourth Ward of the District of John Baptist, Junior, which used to be called the Wharf of the Forty Thieves. The boat starts from there." The boy stopped for a moment to take breath, and then added, complacently: "I guess you can't lose me in this most loyal and^ most heroic city of San Sebastian." "I will accompany your party, if I may," said the Naturalist, courteously. Stacy's brow cleared once more. " It is very good of you, and I am sure we appre- ciate your kindness more than we can tell," she said. "When we are left to ourselves, we are very stupid, indeed." "Hear that, Kob? That's a fling at us," whis- pered Chester. "Perhaps Mrs. Laurie would like to go," sug- 17 258 ROUND ABOUT RIO. gested Robinson. "She would add life to the party. " Mrs. Laurie was a young widow, residing at the hotel. She was spirited, but of unblemished history, so that even Stacy could formulate no objection to her. In a recent conversation with Robinson, in which she attempted to arouse him to an invitation to the opera, she had bemoaned the pitiable condi- tion of a lone but respectable woman in Rio de Ja- neiro, whose only privilege was the monotonous one of hanging over the window sill and watching the funerals go by. Mrs. Laurie was only too glad to go. Indeed, so desolate did she find her life, it is safe to say that she would have gratefully entertained an invitation to a picnic to the North Pole or the coast of Cariboo, wherever that may be. On the following morning Chester officiously conveyed his charge to the wharf where, according to the printed directions, they might expect to find a steamboat in waiting for the pilgrims to Penha. The Colonel was not of the party, nor was Pauline. Their quiet natures antici- pated no pleasure in the fuss and weariness of a re- ligious holiday. And, to tell the truth, Stacy felt reproachfully that she had been taught better things of this day, until Chester comforted her with his rude logic. "This is not Sunday," he said. "It is Domingo. Makes all the difference in the world." The boy gallantly led the van, until, approaching the vessel's side, he saw an Apollyon of a ticket sel- ler blocking the way. Then he suddenly allowed OUR LADY OF THE ROCK. 259 himself to become interested in a dog fight until Rob- inson, who was walking with Mrs. Laurie, had con- ciliated that official. After this confession of weak- ness on his part it was vain for him to try to gain ascendency again. Henceforth the party, which he had taken such pains to organize, noticed him only to snub. They found a shady corner upon the boat, and from there issued criticisms upon the people as they arrived. It was rude, perhaps, but then it is one of the perquisites of travel, and one that is especially enjoyable when the subjects of your comments do not understand your language ; in that case you can say the most unkind things of your neighbor, aloud .and in his hearing, and yet with impunity. First to attract their attention was a bulky negress of im- mense girth and a color so densely black that it made the atmosphere gloomy around her. In her arms she carried, tenderly as if it were a favorite child, a very delicate and shapely wax leg, reaching from the knee downward. It was a shell of wax, of sym- metrical proportions and faultless rnorbidezza. The toes were pink-tipped, the flesh was white where it should have been white and rosy where the rose was due. The incongruity between this work of art and its sable bearer, a portion of whom it was supposed to represent, was quite absurd. While Robinson was wondering over whose last this model could have received its shape, his companion turned to him and, laughing, said : "I can't believe that that was moulded over her stocking." 260 ROUND ABOUT RIO. Robinson brightened up. u Here," thought he, "I have a partner with some animation about her. I might travel with Stacy all day and she wouldn't say anything as viva- cious as that. Kingston may keep her if he wants her, to have and to hold for this day at least." Other wax works appeared as the boat loaded up ; arms, hands, heads, and small children entire, car- ried by people with arms withered, hands crippled, heads swollen, or babies left at home ill. They were on the way to their Bethesda, for the pool was going to be troubled to-day. Every pilgrim carried some- thing. If it was not a ceraceous effigy, it was per- chance a musical instrument ; and if not the latter, he brought with him a well-spring of consolation in the huge horn of wine that was swung over his shoulder. Happy is the man that carries the biggest horn, and the proudest cattle of the southern pampas had yielded up their glory for this pilgrimage to Penh a. Before our party there sat a man whose wine flask encircled him as the serpent did Laocoon. "Look at it," said the Naturalist. "You have heard of the stick that was too crooked to lie still ; here is its counterpart. See that restless horn, how it writhes about him and will not be quiet a moment. Do you notice how its nozzle follows his mouth, and is never out of convenient reach ? " "I fancy that the fascination is at the other source," replied Robinson, "and that the mouth follows the flagon. See, their lips meet again. There is great affinity between those two mouths." OUR LADY OF THE ROCK. 261 "He is taking a horn," observed Chester, from behind. "Ha! I'll make a note of that. A discovery in philology." Robinson jotted down a memorandum in his note-book, adding, " Send it to Eichard Grant White." "There's where you get your < tangle-leg, ' too," continued Chester, feeling encouraged. "Great Caesar ! If that fellow was to trip up on that horn, wouldn't he fall down a good deal! I reckon he'd fall down three or four times before he could get up once. It would be ten times worse than falling over a wheelbarrow." "Chester," warned his sister, "don't work your brain too hard all in one day. You are young yet, remember." To keep himself in equilibrium, the wine-bibbing subject also wore, slung to his right side, a gourd vessel, popularly supposed to contain cachaqa, the cheap and efficacious rum of the country. Between these two he trimmed himself most impartially, mix- ing his drinks as judiciously and methodically as an apothecary mixes his drugs ; and ever as he drank he smiled and offered the beverage to his neighbors around him. Here was the case of a man truly happy and at peace with the world, and here was a religion whose followers were not of the sad and dyspeptic order. " * Must I be carried to the skies On flowery beds of ease?' " hummed Mrs. Laurie. "It wouldn't be safe to offer that fellow those 262 ROUND ABOUT RIO. terms," said Chester. " He would take you up too quick." " Religious devotion among these Portuguese for these are nearly all Portuguese that we see is Hot the sober ceremony that we have in Anglo-Saxon countries," remarked the Naturalist. "They hear with the greatest astonishment that it is not consid- ered decorous to laugh or converse during the ser- vice in our churches at home." "Here's the music," shouted Chester, attempting to follow the somewhat uncertain strains. " Yes, it's 'Madame Angot,' as usual." Three minstrels came thrumming and whistling on their way down the passage. One of them stag- gered against the old lady in black, knocked her wax leg into the aisle, accidentally hit it with his foot, and made a serious dent in the calf. First, the ne- gress uttered some kind of an African malediction, but soon her brow cleared or, rather, smoothed, and she was at peace again. It seemed a character- istic of this party that all of its members were bound to be happy, whether or no. Slowly the vessel steamed out into the bay and pointed its prow northward. It threaded its way among the war ships, rusty now, and rocking in the lazy indolence of peace; through the fleet of lighters at rest, looking like so many Noah's arks at anchor; and skirted the numerous green islands which dot this long blue bay of the River of January. "Yonder is our church," said the Naturalist. "Do you see it a white chapel crowning a great OUR LADY OF THE ROCK. 263 black mound of rock, apparently as inaccessible as a robber baron's castle ?" It was yet far away, however, and when they stepped on shore there was a hot and tedious walk before them. Stacy was inclined to complain. "Why didn't the carriage meet us here?" she asked. " Why ? Because it is not considered the proper thing for a pilgrim to make his progress to the Celes- tial City in a barouche. Besides, there isn't room for a barouche to drive through the Strait Gate. They run on the other route, down the broad boule- vard which leads to destruction. Christiana, I am ashamed of you for such a thought," continued Rob- inson. "Just think of our many fellow travellers here who have peas in their boots, and yet never complain." " I don't believe it. They are barefooted, most of them. Besides, I guess peas can't be much worse than corns," said Chester. The road wound through a landscape luxuriant in its richness, but desolately empty of human habita- tion. Over the rolling country there were scattered large trees of a foliage so dense and green that their shade was as cool and refreshing as the night time. It was a country both fruitful and charming, yet there were none to take advantage of it except the shiftless inhabitants of the few mud hovel's that they passed; and this was in the suburbs of a great city in which hundreds of thousands of people were sweltering for want of room. The crowd of church-goers, more merry than pious, 264 ROUND ABOUT RIO. grew larger and louder at every moment. It was the Derby day in England ; it was a clam bake on Long Island; it was the wedding festivities of Ca- macho and Quiteria; it was all of these and more, for it was the festa of Our Lady of the Kock, the most powerful and beneficent of all saints that bless. At the foot of the great whale Vback of rock, which our party reached after long sauntering, they found themselves in the midst of what was perhaps a fair, perhaps a camp-meeting. Families were bivouacked in the shade. The wheels of the raffle were never still. Cachaga and syrups were flowing freely. There was music in every group, and those who could not play the fiddle, sang. The sweets of indolence and Jacu- bina were everywhere. The trees extended their umbrageous arms over the sunburnt brows of the travellers, and they fain would stop. "I am tired to death," said Mrs. Laurie. "I can go no farther. ' There is no joy but calm. Why should we only toil, the roof and crown of things?' " No," urged the gentlemen. "To linger here is worse than death. We'll stop when we come back. First let us pay our respects to our lady upon the hill. Know ye not, faint-hearted pilgrims, that this is the famous Vanity Fair, established by Beelzebub and his companions in deviltry, and at which honors, titles, pleasures, husbands, wives, and all other vain things, are sold? Wait till we come back, ladies," Robinson persuaded, "and we'll stop and buy you a husband apiece." "And you a wife?" asked Mrs. Laurie. OUR LADY OF THE ROCK. 265 4 'No, indeed, not at present. I'll take the title of duke or viscount for mine, and when I go back to the States I can get a wife for nothing and a million of dollars thrown in." "And I," said Chester, " first I'll get an intro- duction to Balbinda, and then, after that, I think I would like to have a commutation ticket to a soda fountain for about fifteen minutes. Oh, what a coun- try ! Twelve months of summer in a year, and no soda water." " Why is that, Mr. Kingston ? " questioned Robin- son. "What's the reason we don't find any soda down here ? I would like an occasional glass my- self." ' ' The public do not demand it, ' ' was the reply. "The artificial taste which craves the airy nothing- ness of that unsubstantial beverage is yet to be formed in Brazil, whose people drink wine and coffee and are blissful in their ignorance of the aerated compounds with which our countrymen inflate them- selves." Robinson's Yankee instincts came to the surface. " 1 see a chance for a speculation, ' ' he said. ' 4 I'll import a soda fountain and set it up in the Passeio Publico. Chester, you may run it, and for a salary you can have all you want to drink." "And treats for Balbinda? " " Yes, and for all the other pretty girls, present company not excepted. It will advertise the busi- ness and promote amicable relations between the United States and Brazil." "Do so," said the Naturalist, " and upon the mar- 266 ROUND ABOUT RIO. ble slab of that fountain you may inscribe the epi- taph of a departed fortune, as other men have done before you." "Yery strange," said Robinson. "I don't see why they shouldn't like it." " ISTor can they see why you don't take kindly to feijoada. The fact is that habit is stronger than logic. When a man's appetite is governed by rea- son, you may argue your soda water into public favor; but not before. At present you can only introduce it by throwing an ocean of the stuff on the market, and almost giving it away to consumers. Cre- ate a fondness for it, and then you, or your successor when you are in the alms house, can charge any price you please and get as rich as Bass himself. In this same way a popular American perfume was intro- duced into Brazil. The company sent an agent here with a cargo to sell, but unfortunately, the people, feeling no need of his toilet water, would not buy. In despair he at last sold out at auction, receiving about the cost of the bottles, and realizing enough to buy a return ticket to his employers. This sale, apparently so disastrous, was really the best the com- pany ever made, for by its means its commodity reached the farthest and humblest dressing tables in the land. The luxury soon became a necessity, and now whoever is rich enough to own a handker- chief also feels able to moisten it with a drop of this perfumery. Only in this costly manner can you and your commercial friends hope to introduce your soda water, lamp chimneys, wire fences, cooking stoves, OUR LADY OF THE ROCK. 267 gymnastic apparatus, and other articles of commerce in which you deal." Stacy was not interested in this conversation, and turned the tables on Robinson by remarking : "'Those business affairs of yours, gentlemen, are hardly appropriate to this occasion. In fact, they remind me strongly of the sordid discourse of one Mr. Worldly Wiseman, in a book which I, as well as you, have read." The mountain was before them. The first stage of the ascent was by a paved road, bounded by fine walls of masonry. It led up to a little settlement of two or three houses which were adjunct to the church, but for which, unfortunately, there was not room upon the crest of the rock. A priest or two, with sober faces, were strolling around. Other sacerdotal appearance there was none, but of lay people there was legion. They were thronging into the main hall of the principal house, from which there pro- ceeded the commotion of a stock exchange in ses- sion. "If my ears do not deceive me," observed Robin- son, "that is a church fair. Let us avoid it. It is worse than Yanity Fair itself. Hear the voice of the auctioneer! He is probably the Talkative that we read about in the allegory." "Here is the parsonage," said Mrs. Laurie, who came up, faltering with exhaustion. "It looks as cool as a cellar inside. Let's go in and inquire the way." Stepping within, they found the inevitable auction in progress. The crier held up to view a faded 268 ROUND ABOUT RIO. flower spitted upon a hairpin. The interest in the sale was intense. At his right hand stood a group of very handsome young ladies, and the glittering eye and the changing color of the one in advance left little room for doubt as to whose toilet had last been robbed for the good of mother church. Now the question was, whose pocket was to be depleted in the same holy cause. There were several aspi- rants for the honor of that modern martyrdom. 44 Um milreisf " cried an admirer of the girl. 44 Dous ! " remarked his rival, coldly. 44 Dous equinhentos ! " said the first, and his voice had an undertone of agony as he reflected that he would not have enough money to pay his fare home. 44 Tres ! " added the rival, with a business-like air which seemed to certify that his patience and his pocket were alike inexhaustible. The lady threw a sweep of her grateful eyes over him. Then she turned to the other with a question- ing look of expectation, which was not altogether free from scorn. The auctioneer, less delicate, as auctioneers usually are, hinted broadly that any sub- ject whose week's salary did not amount to more than a dollar and a quarter would have to buy his hairpins at the fancy store, where they were cheaper, and also that it was for the poor, such as he, that the wild flowers grew. At this stage the object of so much disdain dis- appeared into the crowd, and his competitor received the prize. 44 The fellow with the red nose gets it," said the auctioneer, kindly identifying the purchaser. XXIII. ON THE HEIGHTS. Each day less distant from the City's Gate, Through shade and sunshine, hand in hand they pressed, Now combatting the foes that lie in wait, And now in pleasant meadows lulled to rest. E. C. STEDMAN. MERGING into the open air, the pilgrims found themselves at the end of the road and at the foot of the steps. Beyond this point no carriage or other wheeled vehicle could go, and it was a matter of conjecture how the material of the church was ever lifted to the high eyrie which it occupied. By this time Stacy was at Robinson's side again. Hitherto the party had not seemed in equilibrium, but now its elements were in sympathy, and were contented, all except Chester, who had no compan- ionship. He had attempted handkerchief flirtations with numerous precocious children of the opposite sex, but they had either received his overtures with ill-concealed astonishment, or had smiled to each other in that unsatisfactory way which left the boy in doubt as to whether they were laughing with him or laughing at him a very important distinction. On other occasions, their stern mothers, following close after them, had frowned upon him severely, and, to disguise his artifice, he was obliged to burst into con- vulsions of coughing, which he smothered in his 263 270 ROUND ABOUT RIO. handkerchief. On the whole, this day's pleasure was not a pronounced success for Chester. In seeking Stacy's company again, Robinson was not governed by motives entirely unselfish. He had noticed that Mrs. Laurie was quite too trusting in her disposition that, in fact, she had intrusted him with the greater part of her weight in the first stage of the ascent ; and he reasoned wisely that, although a confiding nature is all very well for a sleigh ride, when it comes to climbing a blistering hill of Zion like this, it is not comfortable to have a partner who fits too tightly upon your arm. And Stacy, in these latter days, had been more than usually self-sup- porting. At first the steps were long and broad, as if this were the perron to some grand cathedral, and trees were growing by the walls on either side. Here, as everywhere, the devotees were resting their weary feet. In the centre of one group an old and tooth- less negro played his violin. The body of this in- strument was a cocoanut shell, from which a curved stick projected, curling up at the end to receive the solitary string of the fiddle. Upon this he rasped, producing two notes, high or low, according as the string was taut or slack. His accompaniment was a song of equal range in gamut, but when the fiddle sang high he sang low, and when his voice squeaked the fiddle grumbled. He hugged the sounding cocoa- nut to his bosom, either because he loved it so, or else, in obedience to some acoustic principle which he knew but did not understand, to give the shell greater resonance. The artist, like a nightingale, ON THE HEIGHTS. 271 was in raptures over his own music ; and, as he im- provised, he sang his withered old heart fresh again, remembering the happy days of his heathen boy- hood in some land of Mumbo Jumbo on the African coasts. The people girded at him in derision and mocked his song; little cared he, so long as his own soul was satisfied. The Naturalist threw him a coin. Scrap- ing away, he did not seem to see it with his eyes, but automatically he swung his flat foot over it. Rob- inson tossed him another, and, deserting the first, his sandal covered it in similar manner. A blaek boy with a simple countenance artlessly shuffled his foot over the Naturalist's contribution, was seen to curl up his toes and walk off, and, by some sleight- of-foot performance, the money went with him. "Buy me that fiddle, please, Rob," begged Ches- ter. "I think I can play on that." u You will find that that is not for sale," answered the Naturalist. "You might purchase the man him- self, body and soul, for the price of a dinner ; but not his fiddle." " Why ? It can't be worth much," argued the boy. "Cocoanuts and cats arc not so scarce in this country." ' c Nor were reeds scarce in Greece, nor is it proba- ble that Pan's cyrinx was ivory-tipped, nor that Apollo's lyre was gold-mounted, nor that either one of them would have brought much in the market ; but still a king could not have bought them. Thanks be to a remnant of human nature yet unperverted, there are some things left in this world that are not for sale, and that fiddle is one of them, Chester." 272 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "I have heard," observed Mrs. Laurie, "how Paganini made a violin out of a wooden shoe, but I never knew before that there was music in a cocoa- nut. And I have read of extracting sunbeams from cucumbers, but this is something new." "Come, Christiana," urged Eobinson, "we must not listen longer to the strains of this siren. I sus- pect strongly that this old man is a device of the devil, if he is not the devil himself; he is certainly black enough to have received the contents of Mar- tin Luther's ink-pot. Come. We have yet far to go to reach the Celestial City. See the pure white of its walls in the distance ; and the flags, how they welcome us from the summit; and the zealous pil- grims with their staves, how they are outstripping us." "They are not staves; they are candles." replied Stacy. " Sure as you live, so they are. See, here is a pious youth with a candle as long as he is, and he is no boy in stature. I thought it was the wax model of a lamp-post at first. "Here is the Strait Gate," he continued, as the road became a mere path of rock, being confined to the sharp spine of the whale's back, and inclosed on either hand by railings of gas-pipe to protect the people from the destruction which awaited them should they wander from the narrow way. Here be- gan a series of steps, one for each day in the year, which are hewn out of the solid rock. It was a fearful gauntlet of hot sun above, burning rock for the feet, and scorching iron for a hand-rail. ON THE HEIGHTS. 273 Half way up they passed a man who was making a pilgrimage of grievous penitence to atone for some misdeed or other. Slowly and painfully he was climb- ing the rock of Our Lady, walking upon his knees. He was cheating the saint, however, by resting much of his weight upon two stalwart friends who were supporting him, and also by wearing pads under his knees, aids to grace which were not included in the outfits of the early palmers. "How nice it is to be good," said Stacy, consol- ing herself. "I am glad we are not as wicked as that man." "But it would be still nicer to have an elevator for the ultra-Pharisaical, like the nearest and dearest of my friends, here." " I wonder what horrible thing he has done. Please ask him, Henry." "I would, but I don't think it is right to encour- age your thirst for the sensational. It isn't likely he has done anything very serious killed his mother-in-law, perhaps." " Ah ! I will not have you cultivate the habit of speaking of mothers-in-law in that frivolous way." " Ana-sta-tia ! " was heard in the terrible voice of Chester, who was always on hand at the wrong time. " Is that the way to talk to strange young men ? I consider it very unpretty." This reproof set Stacy to reflecting, and it oc- curred to her that this thoughtless speech of hers might mean much or little, according to the construc- tion placed upon it. Robinson came to the same conclusion, and immediately proceeded to construe it 18 274 ROUND ABOUT BIO. to his advantage and her embarrassment. They were lovers again. After this bit of reconciliation, the sun was not so hot nor was the road so steep. Love reconciled can make a barren rock as pleasant as a rose garden. Could Prometheus, upon the Caucasian cliffs, have had the ecstatic sensation of making up after a tiff with one of the goddesses, he could have quite for- gotten that his liver was out of order. The top of this mound of gneiss had been blasted and planed away, leaving a level surface, oval in shape, in the centre of which the unassuming little church was built. Between its walls and the edge of the cliff there was just room enough for a narrow promenade, separated from the precipice by an iron fence. At the front of the house a terrace shelf had been constructed in the rock, its floor had been cov- ered with loam, and some one had planted a garden of flowers there roses, pinks, and the many blos- soms that are strange to us. A fountain of water was flowing before the door. Peering through the iron railing, Stacy could see the tops of the trees hundreds of feet below her. Looking out over and around the bay, the eye took in all of that grandeur of mountain scenery for which Rio de Janeiro is cele- brated. " The Celestial City is well worth the pilgrimage," said she. " I could not have believed it possible. Here is a clean, fresh and airy Catholic church. But then, it would be difficult to bring the material up here for ON TEE HEIGHTS. 275 making a muss; perhaps that accounts for it. Let's go in and see her ladyship." A negro soldier, standing guard at the entrance, swung his musket forward, and the bayonet almost grazed Stacy's face. " The other door," he said. " You're a brute!" exclaimed Robinson. "I've a notion to dip you into this tub of water." "Don't!" pleaded Stacy. " Maybe it's holy water." To the other door they went. Robinson elbowed his way through the sweltering mass and dragged Stacy after him. A portly negress heaped vitupera- tion upon him for tearing her dress. He, seeking to appease her wrath, went to offer her money, but gave it by mistake to another, who seized it and departed with a shrill cackle of laughter at the joke. He stepped on the coat tail of a respectable man . who was down on his knees on the floor, and he felt guilt- ily that this was the worst crime that he had ever yet committed. " Henry, take off your hat ; the folks are looking at you," whispered his companion. " By George, I forgot it. I'm all in a flurry. Isn't this the jammedest place ever you saw ?" There were people black, white, and of all inter- mediate shades ; mothers and daughters; fathers and whole families ; lovers and sweethearts, the latter adorned with tin-types of the former in huge bosom pins a low habit, and equivalent to wearing one's heart on one's sleeve. There were dusky women whose crinkled hair was divided into two heavy 276 ROUND ABOUT RIO. shocks, standing like horns on each side of the head, and other women whose flowing tresses were con- fined in those baggy and untidy nets, which, whether in fashion or out of fashion, will always be an abom- ination in the eyes of all lovers of neatness and good taste. There were men with coats and men without, with neck-ties and without, but principally without ; with shirts buttoned and shirts open, but mostly the latter. But it was too much to hope that this would be a select affair, seeing that its patronage was chiefly derived from the quarry men, muleteers, and small vendors of the city. " Do you think all of these folks are going to Heav- en, Henry?" asked Stacy, somewhat irreverently. "I do not know, indeed; but if they are, it's no more than fair that we should have a glance at the other party, so as to take our choice. As for me, I want to go with the crowd that uses more soap and cologne. I don't see why they can't throw a drop or two of bergamot into their consecrated water." u Hush ! I am afraid it is wicked to talk that way." The priests were transacting their unintelligible business at the altar. The lady singers of the choir were leaning over the parapet and coolly staring at the worshippers below, just as they have been known to do in other and less heathen lands than this. The members of the brass band were dislocating their instruments and emptying the moisture from the tubes, and all of the time the pilgrims were coming, going, jostling, talking, kneeling, and praying be- fore the waxen effigies of the saint which stood in ON THE HEIGHTS. 277 the niches of the wall, overhung with garlands of artificial roses. Stacy inadvertently stepped before one of these lowly worshippers. Robinson rebuked her. " You thoughtless girl! come out of the way. Don't you see that this man is getting you confused with our lady. Ah, he is worshipping to some pur- pose now. Before you eclipsed the saint, he was going it like a machine ; but now he seems to be ex- periencing a revival of religion." Stacy did not hear him. "Did you ever?" she exclaimed. " There is a man with two tooth-picks over one ear. How very absurd ! And there are none at all upon the other side." " Yery bad taste, indeed," said Robinson. "He must have lunched early to-day. I suppose after dinner he will have three. I do hope he will put the third on the other side." " We are about to have some heavy music. Shall we stay and endure it?" asked Robinson. " It's as bad as to wear two ear-drops in one The girl's complaints were drowned in a grand blurt of music from the brass instruments of the orchestra. The singers' voices swelled high and higher in some canticle of praise, but they could not get above the deafening groaning and braying of the horns. Robinson and Stacy threaded their way vigorously toward the door of exit. By its side there was a table, upon which numerous rolls of paper, tied with ribbons, were lying. Presiding 278 ROUND ABOUT RlO. over this counter there were two or three men in priestly black gowns. They were not priests, how- ever, but were probably specials enlisted for this occa- sion, as their faces had all of the worldly look of insurance agents or modern theological students. When business was not pressing they stroked their moustaches and made eyes to the pretty girls; two privileges denied to the brethren of the holy order. As the pilgrims entered they had dealings with these officials. To them they delivered their contri- butions of candles, which were carelessly shocked together in a corner, and also their anatomical speci- mens, which were thrown into a loose heap under the table, where hands, feet, masks, and statuettes of wax lay in an unpleasant confusion. Then each one laid down a bank-note and received one of the ribboned scrolls, which he cherished as if it was a college diploma, to which, in fact, it was not very dissimilar. kt As I live, they are selling permits there, Stacy. Do you think he will let me have one ? Do you think he will know I am a heretic ?" " Go on, he won't know the difference. You look disreputable enough to-day to be a true believer. Wait, let me pull your necktie around under your ear. Now unbutton your vest, and he will sell you as many as you want. Get me one, too, please." "No, Stacy," he replied, pressing her hand. "I would rather you wouldn't have one. I might get one for the Colonel, but I don't like to take the responsibility. Perhaps your ma wouldn't approve of it." ON THE HEIGHTS. 279 Stacy thought it strange that he should deny her a slight request like this, but then reflected that he might not have much money with him, and it would hardly be delicate for her to persist. "Keep close to me, now, Stacy. If the fellow asks me any questions, I am betrayed." But he was not questioned. With an air of bold- ness he approached the counter, noticed the denom- ination of the bank-notes lying there in a pile, silently covered them with one of similar value, received the coveted paper, and retired. "Now we'll go off and open it and see what it says," he continued, starting for the door. "Re- markably cheap, too, only fifty cents." Having slipped the ribbon off, he unrolled the paper, and found a very poor print, representing a woman of uninteresting face, who stood on a lofty height, surrounded by clouds, tempests, and impos- sible lightnings. It was Our Lady of the Rock. The greatest disgust overspread Robinson's face. "Well, that is a pretty sell!" he groaned. " Why, you didn't expect to get a very fine engrav- ing for half a dollar, did you?" laughed Stacy. " I didn't expect to get a picture at all." "What then?" "I thought I was buying an indulgence." "A what?" asked Stacy, dropping his arm. "An indulgence, a recreation permit, such as the Pope grants to his pious ones. I was calculating on having a time to-night." "You wicked man!" cried Stacy, in horror. "If I believed you I would never speak to you again, 280 ROUND ABOUT RIO. never, never, nev Oh, see, Henry, that man has put his cigarette over his right ear, now, and he looks ever so much better. He had such a half- dressed appearance with no ornaments but tooth- picks, and those all on one side. But he is quite symmetrical now, " she added, with an air of satisfac- tion, forgetting all about the dispensation. They found Mrs. Laurie, the Naturalist, and Chester, on the shady side of the church, seated on the narrow edge of stone which served as a basis for the fence. They were all thoroughly wilted, and the latter was especially unhappy in, being wedged in between two negro women who were anything but sylphs, and whose flounces met across his knees. " Come here, Stacy, and let me pin up your skirt; it is torn," said Mrs. Laurie. "If you would straighten out your hat, Robin- son, you would show off to better advantage," sug- gested the Naturalist. " Hope you prayed for me," said Chester. "If you didn't, I'll have to run on my good behavior for another year. I'm too comfortable here to think of going inside. What'll you give me for my seat, Eob ?" Still the pilgrims came and went, and the hustling and crowding and fanning and joking continued. The twang and toot of musical instruments heralded the approach of a delegation of important dimen- sions. They came close upon the heels of the play- ers, beating time with candles and umbrellas, and dancing with a weary shuffle which was indicative of an enthusiasm at its very last gasp. Before the ON THE HEIGHTS. 281 church door the band halted its steps but did not cease its strains. One beat a drum, a second thrum- med a guitar, a third worked away at a fiddle, a fourth blew a cornet, and the fifth well, he deserves a sentence to himself. He was an elderly man with gray hair and the self-satisfied expression and dia- conal appearance of one who was an important man in his parish at home. It was his part to carry the bell of a clock mounted on a fragment of umbrella handle. From this, with the aid of a small ham- mer, he evoked silvery sounds in unison with the general tune, whatever that might be. His duty was also to marshal the group ; and when an out- sider brought the clatter of a kettle-drum to bear upon the prevailing harmony, the deacon advanced upon the interloper with an unquailing eye, and awed him and frowned him around the church cor- ner and into silence. Then the fiddler, who was a young man, wearing a clown's hat with green cock's feather, began to sing in a snarling falsetto voice, and not all of the operatic flights of the choir inside attracted attention and admiration as this did. " Oh, I wish I had that music !" cried Stacy. " I would learn to play it and astonish the folks with it when we get home." " That music," answered the Naturalist, " is like a Colorado morning or the play of moonlight upon the waters : it is to be enjoyed while it lasts ; but the artist does not live who can perpetuate it. How- ever, I have the words here," and he referred to a 282 ROUND ABOUT RIO. piece of paper upon which he had been taking notes. He translated them for her. '* My cane is little and green, 0, my little green cane ! All speckled and spotted with green, And spotted and speckled again. " If ever you go to Bougariga Of Cantonhede beware, For the biggest devil that ever you saw Is painted upon the walls there. "The little green cane in the sea Goes swimming around the ship's side. And it's yet to be born is she Who is going to be my bride." Again they resumed their march, circling the church as if it were a Jericho, and singing as they went " Oh, minha canniriha bierde, Oh, minha bierde canninha, Salpicadinha de bierde, De bierde salpicadinha. " With a boy's instinct Chester followed them, but he had not been gone long when he returned with news of an important discovery. " Come a running ! " cried he. " Beats Mrs. Jar- ley all to pieces." He led them to a window in the rear of the church. Peering in, one could see a vestry-room where two or three priests and two or three guests were at ease. Candles were burning before some figures of OUF Lady, while upon the floor there were at least a cord of others awaiting their turn, which would come some time during the year. On the opposite wall hung a ON THE HEIGHTS. 283 painting of a vessel in a storm, which, in the last hour of peril, had been saved by the miraculous intervention of Our Lady of the Rock. So they were informed by a volunteer cicerone, who said that this picture was the gift of the never-to-be-sufficiently- grateful officers and crew of the same. Aside from this the apartment was fall of the ex voto anatomical offerings of the afflicted, the mate- rialized prayers of the hundreds of the faithful, who were neglecting the doctor and his doses while hoping against hope for some special dispensation in their behalf. Every available inch of the walls was covered. Hands, feet, legs, arms, bosoms, bodies, integral and partial, and heads, entire and fractional, gave a most ghastly appearance to this little museum. Some were pure white, some were tinted carnation color, while yet others were painted in the revolting detail of ulcers and such imperfections of the flesh. This exhibition did not command the attention of the party very long. " Just look here before you go," pleaded Chester, who feared that his discovery was not receiving the appreciation that it merited. Upon the window-sill there was a heap of disjecta membra, piled there for want of room elsewhere. The hot sun, beating in upon them, had melted the wax in places, producing the most lugubrious results. "Only see !" cried Chester, "here is a man whose month has run all over his face." "Don't be low, Chester," said Stacy. "And this one's nose is on crooked, and here's a head caved in, and there's a leg collapsed, and here's 284 ROUND ABOUT BIO. another case of the Siamese twins, and there's a boy who looks as if he had been through a wringing- machine." By this time the party were well on their way of descent, and the youthful expositor was obliged to turn and follow them. "They miss the best part of everything," he grumbled to himself. XXIY. VANITY FAIK. Glorious it was to see how the open region was filled with horses and chariots, with trumpeters and pipers, with singers and players upon stringed instruments, to welcome the pilgrims as they went and followed one another in at the beautiful gate of the city. BUNYAN. A KKIVING at the Vanity Fair on the plains J-Ju below, they drooped on the grass under the dense foliage of a tree, wiped their brows, and, like the rest of this little world, having been duly relig- ious in the forenoon, they made up their minds to enjoy themselves for the rest of the day. " Chester, run and hunt up our carriage. It was to meet us here. Come, there is caju cream there, boy." He found it standing in the glare of the sun. The detached mules were tied to a neighboring fence. The driver was investing his week's earnings in a wheel of fortune, intent upon securing a bottle of cham- pagne which was numbered among the prizes ; but as yet his winnings were limited to breastpins and baby-rattles, articles for which he had no use what- ever. The caju ice was melted and was flowing in a sloppy disorder. " Call the villain !" said Robinson, sternly. The culprit appeared. In one corner of his mouth was a cigarette; on the other side, a tooth-pick. The 285 ROUND ABOUT RIO. muscles of his face worked nervously, and, with a duplex action, which was a study for the Naturalist, he was smoking the cigarette and chewing ihepalito at one time. " What have you to say for yourself, sir ?" He had much to say for himself. He had left the carriage in the shade a few hours before. How was he to know that the sun was going to shift around in this inexplicable manner ? You couldn't expect an accomplished astronomer in an humble coach- man, could you? And how could they hold him responsible for the doings of the solar system ? He wasn't a Joshua, was he ? He was willing to argue farther ; but it was re- freshment, and not argument, that this party was thirsting for. At their right hand was a small moun- tain of watermelons, over which two or three huck- sters were presiding. Like the carriage, they had been deposited in the shade, but now the sun was blanch- ing the healthy green out of their complexions. "Shall we cut a watermelon? " asked Robinson. " I think we may venture," responded Mrs. Laurie. 4 c There is a drug-store right across the way. ' ' In truth, a speculative pharmacist had established his booth on the opposite side of the road. It was a grim commentary on the wilted fruit, which had lost all of its inner blush and crispness, and was of a flaccid white, disagreeably suggestive of cholera, dis- maying all but Chester and the coachman. " This druggist's enterprise," observed the Natur- alist, "reminds me of the sagacious undertaker of Virginia City. When I was in Nevada the last time, VANITY FAIR. 287 they had a prize-fight one Sunday at the Five-Mile House, just outside of Virginia, and I went." u How very wicked! " exclaimed Mrs. Laurie. " Yes, but it was a much politer affair than this. As I was saying, there was an undertaker in the town who had an eye for business, and he sent a hearse out to the scene of conflict and had his agent go through the crowd and circulate cards advertising cheap cof- fins, ready-made, warranted a comfortable fit. There was a business talent that was worth a silver mine. Ah, Yirginia City is the place for life and enterprise. Their practical jokes are scintillations of a true genius. The town is waked up every morning by a practical joke." "They are not altogether deficient in that line down here," said Robinson. "I strongly suspect that this coachy of ours is eating all of this water- melon so as to have an excuse for going into convul- sions and calling for brandy. " These were the last hours of Our Lady's novenas, and the bottles of beer, the horns of wine, and the gourds and skins of cachaga were fast running dry. To drink was to be happy, and to be happy was to be musical. A half-dozen inebriated pilgrims were dancing fandango near at hand. One picked his guitar, the others chanted, and all danced. "While the sun beat fiercely on them and the perspiration trickled down their flushed faces, they twirled their arms over their heads, approached, retreated, and cir- cled in figures which might have been graceful if they had not involved the loss of so much good, use- ful, manual labor. Another party, made up of two 288 ROUND ABOUT RIO. old cronies of darkies, took their amusement more easily. They came down the road together, dancing- side by side, utterly oblivious to all of the rest of the world, and anxious only to be agreeable to each other. The upper portions of their bodies were motionless ; their feet did all the work. With these they wiped the road as they walked in a lazy shuffle that was really quite peaceable to contemplate; so it seems that, even in their recreation, the negroes of the tropics are more indolent than those of colder climes. They were singing to each other in a confi- dential way which made our friends feel like eaves- droppers to listen to them. One pursued the argu- ment of the song with a droning voice, while, at the refrain, his companion would chime in with a shrill outburst that was like the sharp cry of a coyote. These heathen melodists passed on. Behind them came a man and his wife. His cachaga gourd was now so empty that it rattled when he walked. Sud- denly he stopped, as if he feared that he had for- gotten something. Thrusting his hands deep into the pockets of his pantaloons, he exclaimed : " Where is that devil of a saint got to now ?" " Why, it's in your hat, of course, Candido, where you put it and where it ought to be," replied his wife. " Ah, so it is," he said, with relief. " Doesn't that sound a little irreverent?" asked Stacy. " Oh, no," answered the Naturalist. "The people are on very neighborly terms with Our Lady. They are exceedingly polite to each other, but they are VANITY FAIR. 289 hardly civil toward the saints in glory sometimes. When I went up on the Amazonas last year I took a dozen or so of cheap prints of the canonized with me. I found them very good letters of introduction into the best society of the Amazonian backwoods. In one house, where I was resting for the night, I gave the proprietor a gaudy picture of saint some- body, I forget who. It pleased him, but it puzzled him, for he could not read her name printed on the card. He turned to me for information. " ' Como se chama o bichu?' ) he asked." " And that means " " What is the name of the beast ?" "That sounds like an Englishman's question,"" said Robinson. 4 4 It sounds dreadfully disrespectful to me, and I am a Protestant, too," added Stacy. ' ' Oh, there is nothing very bad in the word bichu. It has as broad a meaning as the word ' outfit ' in our Western Territories. It is applied indifferently to the angels, whether above or below; to a comet and a fire-fly; to a flea and a horse; and to a ship at sea and a hand-cart in the streets." " But what do they do with these wretched pic- tures ? See, almost every man has one in his hat- band. What have you done with yours, Mr. Rob- inson ?" u Oh! mine?" he answered, smiling feebly. "I am saving it till I get home. I contemplate buying a clock and turning it into a locket and wearing this picture in it." 4 ' They keep them to look at and adore," contin- 19 290 ROUND ABOUT RIO. ued the Naturalist. "And even if they are out of sight they are very good things to have around the house, like a horse-shoe or any other periapt. So they keep them on hand and fancy that, in some mysterious way, the pictures keep them from harm. In that same trip up the Amazonas I was accompa- nied by a young Brazilian gentleman, a most amia- ble and intelligent fellow. On leaving home his sisters packed his trunk for him, storing it with the thousand useful trifles that he would be likely to for- get, such as castile soap, buttons, a Bible, and an almanac, and in the bottom they placed an engrav- ing of their favorite saint, to whose patronage they commended their brother. But the joke of it was that he never knew it was there until he came home again." "And did your friend lead a charmed life ?" asked Mrs. Laurie. "It may have been a charmed life; it certainly was not a charming one. He had the fever every other day ; he lost the best part of his baggage in going over the rapids ; a scorpion bit him on the little finger; and the mosquitoes would come half a mile to dine at his expense." The man with the saint in his hat was gone. After him there came one with a rosary of large wooden beads around his neck. Another wore a peculiar chain, each one of whose links was a ring of cake. They were candied over with red, green, and blue powders, which were dusting his clothes as he walked. "If that is his rosary, and those perforated bis- VANITY FAIR. 291 cuits are his Ave Marias," said the Naturalist, "what shall we call that affair which he has slung over his shoulders?" "It must be the Pater Noster," responded Rob- inson. " It looks like the father of all jumbles." " That's the life-preserver for me !" cried Chester. " Useful on sea or land. I'm going to buy one." They were referring to a huge ring of cake, not unlike a life-preserver, which this man was carrying in addition to his rosary of titbits. A keen lookout, sustained by Chester, revealed the fact that this was a popular way of putting up luncheon, and that many were wearing these circlets of bread for hat- bands. From the persons of others dangled strings of crackers which clashed with their empty gourds. They were victualled as if the nine days were now beginning, instead of at an end. "They are too happy to eat," suggested Stacy. Perhaps it was so. What with music, water- melons, religion, rum, and other light refreshments, perhaps they were feeling no desire for things so gross as cakes and crackers, but were saving them for the children at home. They were all in good humor. It seemed to be a part of their duty to themselves to let no unpleasant incident mar their day's enjoyment. A straggling pedestrian was sauntering along the roadside. Three horsemen approached him, riding in single file. The first brushed rudely against the less fortunate foot- man; the latter responded by striking the horse a cut with the twig in his hand. The equestrian there- upon turned in his saddle and struck him a blow 292 ROUND ABOUT RIO. with his riding-whip. The second rider did like- wise, knocking him into the hedge of thorns. The third, not to be outdone in valor, twitched the hat from the man's head and into the middle of the road. At the end of all this persecution the object of so much abuse did not swear, nor threaten, nor call the police ; he simply picked himself and his hat up, and smiled feebly to himself, as with a grim determination not to let a little thing like that spoil his day's happiness. Chester spied a nocking together of the people in a remote corner of the grounds. Young as he was, he knew that there is never a crowd without an at- tractive nucleus. "This way! "he cried, and our party, listlessly reckless now concerning their comings and goings, followed him. It was an itinerant dentist, pulling teeth free of charge. In this manner he advertised himself, and when he had gathered sufficient people around him, he suddenly changed his tactics, and sold them a few bottles of his nostrum before they" could help themselves. He was standing in a handsome cushioned car- riage, drawn by four gray horses. Upon the foot- man's perch stood a tinselled assistant, with a feather in his cap. He constituted the orchestra, and turned the crank of a hand-organ as his master plied the forceps. The latter was a man of superior appear- ance, characterized by that courtly and self-possessed bearing which comes from years of intercourse with the world, and which is seen to such perfection in VANITY FAIR. 293 the tin peddler and the book agent. Indeed, there are dwellers in the baronial halls that I wot of, who might envy the prestance of this peripatetic tooth- puller. He had a happy word for every occasion, and could make a man laugh while plucking his molars up by the roots. His shirt-front was ruffled, and for a neck-cloth he wore a heavy golden chain, thrown into a tangled tie. Taking into account also the elegance of the chair to which he invited his patients, the strains of music with which he made them for- get all of the lesser pains of life, and the liberality of his terms, it was no wonder that his customers were many. As our friends approached, he was bending over a girl of perhaps fifteen years of age. He turned, exhibited a tooth, and flung it into the crowd. " There must be some jugglery in this," said Rob- inson. "She is an accomplice of his. Women don't have their teeth pulled without screaming." " Do you think that a girl would scream on such an occasion as this?" asked Stacy. "No, indeed. It is worth while to be heroic when there are a hun- dred people looking on. See how red her cheeks are with excitement !" "And the grind-organ," added Chester. "Think of having your teeth pulled to the heavenly strains of a grind-organ !" Again the forceps were applied. The girl's shoul- ders writhed and lifted convulsively with the pain which she could not altogether conceal, and when she withdrew the handkerchief from her mouth there was 294 ROUND ABOUT RIO. a stain of blood upon it, and her lips, half trem- bling, half smiling, were of a deeper red than was quite natural. The dentist motioned her out, stopped the organ by a signal to the musician, and sold a bottle of his medicine. A little child then timidly clambered into the car- riage. She opened her eyes very wide to the people around, and then opened her mouth very wide to the dentist. He took a nickel coin from his vest pocket. The coin and his fingers disappeared in her mouth. What happened there nobody could tell, but in another moment the nickel reappeared, balanced on the end of his finger, and with it the offending tooth. He generously threw the money back into her mouth, patted her head and dismissed her. After that exploit he sold a couple of bottles. The next subject was a man. A subtle smile played under the dentist's gray moustache. He leaned over to the people outside and borrowed an umbrella, carefully brushing the sand off its ferrule. Then he looked at his victim and laughed, and, turn- ing to the spectators, he laughed still more ; but the victim himself never so much as smiled. The dentist inserted the end of the umbrella into the man's mouth, and made a feint as if he were about to spread it, whereat there was more merriment all around, the subject excepted. After these few indications of a playful spirit the operator turned to business, and, putting the umbrella under the snag, he used it as a lever and a pry to uproot it. The sufferer lifted his hands in mute VANITY FAIR. 295 protestation, but the dentist rudely struck them down ; if he was going to pull teeth for nothing, he was not going to have any foolishness and squeam- ishness about it. A brisk market for the bottled tooth-wash was the reward of this triumph of dentistry. Clip, clip, went the forceps, as, one after another, men, women, and children, the Samaritan despatched his customers, and, like another Jason, sowed their teeth around him. But, man, woman, or child, and whether one or six teeth were pulled, not one of them uttered a cry. "I cannot understand it," said Robinson. "It is a reproach to my countrywomen, who raise the roof with their hysterics whenever they have a tooth filled." "I know how it is," Chester said. "These women are not put together in the substantial way that our folks are. They eat too much candy and doce. Now watch this one and see if her teeth don't come easy. I'll bet she'd fall to pieces if she'd sneeze right hard." The person referred to was an angular maiden lady about forty years old, but still retaining some of the coquettishness of youth, which she manifested as she settled languishingly into the cushions, and simpered under the united gaze of a couple of hundred eyes, the handsome operator's included. In his dealings with her this dissimulating Janus assumed two phases and faces, one of which he turned toward her and the other toward the populace. As he chucked her under the chin and touched her faded 296 ROUND ABOUT RIO. lips, and gazed tenderly into her mouth, she felt, poor creature, that she had not been so well treated since her sweetheart ran off with another girl, some seventeen years ago last May. Then, facing his auditors, a droll twinkle beamed in the dentist's eyes, and, opening his mouth, he rolled up his sleeves and pointed therein with an expression of the most absolute amazement. Chester acted as interpreter to the pantomime. " He says he can see " "Ches-te/ 1 /" interrupted Stacy Again the dentist made a reconnoissance, and re- turned, holding up the wide-spread fingers of both hands. "He says her jaws are as full of snags as the Mississippi River itself." The dentist inserted a couple of fingers, plucked out a tooth as easily as Jack Horner with his plum, and flipped it out upon the ground. " Um," said he, in a matter-of-course way. "What did I tell you? It wouldn't take much of an earthquake to shake her to pieces." Then the forceps were used. "Douaf" "This begins to look like business." "I didn't think she had so many teeth in her head." "Quatro!" " Spoon victuals will have to be her portion." " Cmco!" " Save the pieces down there ! A sailor's sweet- VANITY FAIR. 297 hearts aren't scattered half so widely as this woman will be." "Won't she have a lively time getting together when Gabriel comes ? " "If I'm indicted for murder, you'll bear witness that she told me to!" "If there are many more I'll take her head off and be done with it." The exhausted operator held up his hands in dis- may, and his toothless subject minced down the steps and was lost in the crowd again. After this entertainment, wealth fairly rolled into the coffers of the dentist, and our party wisely con- cluded that, stay they all day, they would not see an equal display of dexterity on one hand, endur- ance on the other, and good humor all around. One by one the bulky furniture wagons, now trimmed with a holiday dress of boughs, bunting, and garlands, and filled with a holiday freight of merry men and women, rolled away from the scene. In the rear of each stood a man discharging erratic rockets, maliciously calculated to wind a squirming night through the crowd and stir up the people there. Lash was given to the six mules, and over the heavy sand of the road they started on the dead run, scattering the people to the right and left, graz- ing everybody but hurting no one, as if they were but a flock of geese. 298 ROUND ABOUT RIO. u Viva a Penha! " cry the inmates of the wagon, while the man in the rear fires the tail of another rocket. "Viva a Penha!" respond the pedestrian pil- grims, hooting with laughter to see the rocket burst in the man's hands, and the joker hoist with his own petard. That evening, when the stars were out, Stacy sat by the window, gazing into the sky above. "What is it?" asked Robinson, approaching. "Are you looking for the satellites of Mars? Are you pining over some lost love ? Are you "No, I was thinking. That man must have had dinner by this time. I do wonder where he put the tooth-pick." XXY. CHESTER SPECULATES. There is not, however, a more certain proposition in mathe- matics, than that the more tickets you adventure upon, the more likely you are to be a loser. Adventure upon all the tickets in the lottery, and you lose for certain ; and the greater the number of your tickets, the nearer you approach to this certainty. ADAM SMITH. was reading the morning paper, un- derstanding some words, guessing at the mean- ing of others, and filling in the intervals from his imagination. In this manner he managed to keep posted on the movements of the vessels in and out of port, the amusements at the theatres, and the progress of the fever, and also got an inkling of the meaning of the scanty three-line foreign telegrams and the items of news from the United States. One morning he was worrying his way through the advertising page, reading of escaped slaves, new polkas, and wonderful medicines. His finger finally stopped on a piece of poetry which was ignominiously placed among the prosaic announcements of some false hair and cod-liver oil. He divined its general import, but yearned for details, as it was a subject in which he was interested. With his finger still on the spot, he came to Robinson for assistance. 4 'Translate that, please, will you, Rob ?" "That," said Robinson, "is an advertisement of 300 ROUND ABOUT RIO. the Kiosque of the Black Captain, at which, in ad- dition to the usual commodities of coffee, codfish, and cigarettes, you can also purchase tickets for the approaching lottery with every prospect of success. Or, in the words of the poetical proprietor, ' Advance, my gallant warriors, With cash and without fear; The biggest prizes are yours Who get your tickets here.' And so on through a dozen of stanzas of seductive promise. I have noticed this fellow's productions before. He is a very prolific poet, and on the morn- ing after the drawing you will see him come out in another jubilation, a qfuarter of a column long, in which he announces the success of the tickets which have passed through his lucky hands; already he has got such a reputation for luck that the people would rather have a ticket bought of hirn than one blessed by a priest. But, shades of Shakespeare ! how these Brazilians do run to poetry ! Why is it, I wonder ?" "Perhaps," the Naturalist replied, "it is in the language and its word terminations, which offer superior facilities for rhythmical and metrical con- struction. But it is not so much the flesh and blood of true poetry as it is the dry bones of a lifeless rhyme, which, although it is pleasant to the ear, fails to stir the heart. Rhymesters are as abundant here as in a ladies' seminary of the last generation, but poets are rare." "You forget Goncalves Bias," said Stacy, de- fending her favorite. "Yes, there was Gongalves Dias. But sometimes CHESTER SPECULATES. 301 even he, following the fashion of his country, re- lapses into the maudlin gush of sighs and tears, which is the first stage of poetical development; it seems to come as natural for the young poet to weep as it does for the young infant. The fate of Gonalves Dias was tragically poetical in itself, and that per- haps adds to his reputation. He was shipwrecked and drowned on his native shore as he was returning from a foreign land. And then the people, hearing of his death, remembered the longing words of his 'Song of Exile,' written in Coimbra." u Oh, I know it," said Stacy. "I have translated it. " 'And now, God grant I may not die Except in fair Brazil, among The sweets of home, which often I In exile think of as I long To see the palm-trees kiss the sky, And hear the sabia's sweet song.' u That's the last stanza. It's the best I could do for it," she added, apologetically. " Some day I will translate them all, 'Green Eyes,' 'The Maiden and the Shell, ' ' Leave Me Not, ' and all of his pretty verses of society." u Not forgetting 'Maraba,' ' Y-juca-pyrama,' and his other American poems," said the Naturalist. "You must not forget them by any means, for they are his greatest glory. He seems to have felt that it was his mission to stand between as and the old Indian tribes of this country, of whom we are so ignorant, and sing their songs of fortitude and bravery over again in language intelligible to us. It is for this that the world at large owes him its 302 ROUND ABOUT RIO. gratitude, and that Brazil honors him as one of the founders of its national literature." "I think any country ought to be proud of a poet like him. He is greatly revered here, is he not ?" "Well, yes, after a fashion. That is, they've put up a statue of him somewhere. They've named a street after him in Rio, and at the last bull-fight they passed around the hat and collected a few nickels for the support of his aged mother." " Shameful, that the mother of such a son should depend on the public charity !" cried Stacy, in indig- nation. "I thought this Government was paternal, and made a practice of fostering literature and the arts." " What can be done ? There are so many younger and abler persons squabbling for the Government clerkships and pensions, that a feeble old woman doesn't stand much show." "I am afraid I can't translate those Indian poems," said Stacy, discouraged, as she turned over the leaves of the book. "Their melody is too martial for me. There is too much of the clang of barbaric arms and instruments there. My poor school-girl's vocabulary is incompetent to interpret the sounds of the janubia and the murmur e. Mr. Robinson, won't you help ine ?" "No, I thank you kindly for the honor. No translations for me. It is hard enough to write poetry of your own, where subject and verse are free, and where you have the whole world, and the rhym- ing dictionary in the bargain, to choose from. But when you are restricted on one hand to the necessity CHESTER SPECULATES. 303 of following a certain line of thought, and, on the other, of compelling this thought to occupy the Procrustean bed of another man's metre, the re- straint becomes irksome. My Pegasus is like those other horses which they put on the tops of barns for weather-vanes it must be free to turn with every change of the wind ; and the poet's afflatus is a fickle and inconstant breeze." Robinson resumed his consideration of the paper which Chester had put into his hands. "I've struck it now," he continued at last. 4 'Here's a piece of purely sentimental slops, all about a broken heart and a wild despair, printed in the advertising columns. Of course its author must have paid for its insertion at the regular rates. Is it asinine conceit or the audacity of genius, I won- der, which leads a man to pay for the publication of his verses among the sordid announcements of pills and pocket handkerchiefs? And is it modesty or moral cowardice which restrains even the most con- fident of our young poets at home from doing more than to express a shamefaced hope that their verses may be found worthy of publication ?" "Look in the page of 'By Request,' if you want to see poetry of this order," advised the Naturalist. " Yes, here it is, graspings after the infinite, mockery of the prime minister, and adoration of old Suzanne, of the Alcazar. I don't see anything on the subject of 'Spring' or 'Beautiful Snow, 1 however." "No, that is an infliction spared to this land of perpetual summer." 304: ROUND ABOUT RIO. Long before the end of this conversation, which had been initiated by Chester, that mercurial boy was on the go again. With Bemvindo for a companion, he was taking a walk, and the magnet does not point toward the pole more steadily than his steps and thoughts tended to the Kiosque of the Black Captain. This Kiosque, like all of them, was a little muti- lated sentry-box of an affair, which, crowded as it was with articles of trade, fitted like a strait-jacket to its proprietor, who had barely room to turn around in the centre. To swing a cat there would have been impossible, but that did not matter to this contented little man, who had no cats to swing ; he could deal out his coffee, smoke his cigarettes, concoct his poetry, and sell his lottery-tickets there, and that was employment enough for him, especially as he was doing a rushing business in the latter arti- cle, since his establishment had achieved its reputa- tion for luck. As allurements to the hesitating buyer, one face of the Kiosque was painted with the gaudy picture of Fortuna, who showered blessings in the shape of lottery-tickets upon the waiting world at her feet ; and upon others were the figures of the prizes hith- erto drawn through this favored agency. These numbers were well displayed and were calculated to loosen the purse-strings of the most miserly or pru- dent. io.ooo$ooo, 20.0OO$OOO, so the prizes read, being drawn out to that ultimate CHESTER SPECULATES. 305 and imaginary Brazilian coin, the real^ which is equal in value to one-half of a mill. The working men and the beggars gazed wistfully at these figures as they passed, and fell to making plans as to what they would do with all of that money when they should get it, as get it some day they certainly would. Though they might have doubts concerning the heavenly inheritance which, as the priest said, awaited them, yet they were confident that, if they only lived long enough and invested often enough, the grand prize in the lottery would not fail them. "What do you think of these lotteries, any way?" asked Chester in a casual way of Bemvindo, as they stood before the Kiosque of the Black Captain. You might as well ask a lover his opinion of his sweetheart as to ask a Brazilian what he thinks of the lottery, and Bemvindo was no exception to this rule. His judgment, though of value in most things, was a little biased on this subject. "Oh, firs' class!" he replied, with ardor. "I like- a them ver' much. You get reech ver' easy." "Did you ever buy any tickets?" "Ver' man' times. Every month when Mr. Kingson he pay me." "Did you ever make anything?" continued the practical Chester. "No-o," reluctantly and slowly; then eagerly and in explanation, "but I deed not buy ze right numbers. " " But how do you tell the right numbers ?" "You get them at ze lucky kiosque ; thees ees the lucky kiosque." 306 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "I say, Bemvindo, I'll tell you something. I've got twenty milreis. Father gave it to me on my birthday, so I could get some photographs and things to take home with me. Do you think I'd better buy a ticket with it ?" Of course Bemvindo thought so. It would be foolishness itself to waste twenty milreis for photo- graphs and things when there were lottery-tickets for sale. Why, with that twenty thousand milreis, and he pointed to the figures on the board, one could buy almost all the photographs and things in the world, and still have enough money left to get some more lottery-tickets. ' " But if I don't get the twenty contos," urged Chester, " there'll be the mischief to pay. The folks will laugh at me, and maybe father'll do some- thing more than laugh. Sometimes he does." Bemvindo was astonished and almost vexed to hear such boyish reasoning. Was not somebody bound to draw the grand prize, and wasn't Chester just as likely to get it as any one ? Then the folks would laugh, indeed, when Chester would send all of them fine presents thousand-dollar diamonds, tickets to Paris, and so on. However, nothing ven- ture, nothing have. He had thought the Americans were an enterprising people, and yet here was one who had twenty milreis and was going to throw it away for photographs and things. At this moment an old woman, evidently of the poorest classes in life, approached the kiosque, and, scraping her pockets for money she accumulated enough for the purchase of one of the smallest frac- CHESTER SPECULATES. 307 tions of a ticket that were for sale. Then she de- parted, a tranquil smile on her face and a well-spring of joy in her heart, her happiness guaranteed until the drawing should take place. 4 'You see," said the tempter, Bemvindo, " she weel draw ze gran 1 prize. She weel be reech and go to Petropolis, and wear diamonds and feathers. Perhaps she weel be good and geef much to ze poor, and then ze Emperor weel make her marchioness, ancl ze Pope weel make her saint. Oh, ze blessed lottery!" " How is this?" interrupted Chester. " There is only one grand prize and you have promised it to both of us. We can't both get the twenty contos." Bemvindo was obliged to acknowledge his error. 4 ' You are right, " he replied. ' ' She weel only get ten contos. She cannot wear diamonds and go to Petropolis." At last Chester yielded, but he surrendered more to his own inclinations than to Bemvindo's logic, in which even his untutored mind could discover flaws. He drew his cherished ten dollars from its hiding- place, and, like the patriotic boy that he was, ex- changed it for ticket No. 1776, seeing in those glori- ous figures the omen of success. The fever of expectation now began. " Day after to-morrow the wheel will turn," was the placard hung out in all quarters of the city, and it was neces- sary that he should contain himself until that time, and even until the day after that, when the results of the drawing would be published in the morning papers. Sleepless were his nights and restless his 308 ROUND ABOUT RIO. days, as he thought over the thousand and one ways in which he would dispose of all that money. Castles in Spain, do you say ? Why, in all the distance be- tween the Pyrenees and the sea there does not lie area enough to hold the shadow-mansions that his busy fancy contrived, assisted as it was by the sympathetic soul of Bemvindo. What stocks he would invest in, what parrots and monkeys he would buy, what legacies and suppers he would give, what juvenile club-houses he would endow, these were the subjects of his thoughts and his dreams. If he saw an unhappy slave-child beaten by its master, he would purchase its freedom ; if Kobinson and Stacy would get married without any further delay, he would pay the expenses ; if he could only find that old darky with the cocoa-nut violin, he would have the cherished instrument or know the reason why ; if the lure of precious stones would have any influ- ence on Balbinda's heart, her heart and herself should be his. He would buy a yacht, an opera- house, or at least a box in one; a country-seat on the Hudson; a cottage at Manitou; a buckskin hunting-dress and mustang ; a Paul Boynton swim- ming-suit; a. bushel of but sometimes the stlil small voice of common-sense would whisper in his ear that there were five thousand nine hun- dred and ninety- nine other tickets in the field, and, considering that fact, there was a consider- able possibility that his solitary No. 1776 might not draw the grand prize. Then his aspirations would droop like dampened flowers, he would re- member the photographs and things that his ten CHESTER SPECULATES. 309 dollars would have bought, and he would be sad until Bemviiido came to scoff away his doubtings, which, he said, were only the evidences of an indi- gestion or the fatigue of sleeplessness. When the morning after the drawing came, Ches- ter^was up bright and early. He seized the daily paper, and with trembling finger and eyes blear with excitement, ran over the list of successful numbers. Among them was !N"o. 1776, sure enough, but it had drawn only the paltry sum you could not call it a prize of twenty milreis. It had paid for itself, that was all. Chester pretended to [some disgust, but, for all of that, his heart was light to think he had his ten dol- lars back again. He went to confer with Bemvindo concerning the steps he should take to secure his money, which, like bread thrown upon the waters, had returned to him again. Announcing the in- glorious result of the drawing, he expected to see the confident Brazilian taken aback, but Bemvindo's hope had lost none of its elasticity. He bowed and smiled with a knowing air as he said : "That's all right. It always work-a that way. You draw a leetle, leetle prize first, and then you take-a that money and you buy some more ticket, and you get ze gran' prize, sure. I go with you thees aft'noon, and we buy another ticket in ze nex' lot- tery." This was a new phase of affairs. Chester had not contemplated further investment in the wheel of fortune. He had had his excitement, and, withal, his lesson, free of cost, and he felt it would be wise for 310 ROUND ABOUT RIO. him to stop. But while prudence warned him, the spirit of adventure and Bernvindo urged him on, and, the latter influences being in a majority, he yielded, and again became the possessor of one of those mystical bits of paper which sometimes prove a passport to a palace, but more often, alas, to an alms-house. In selecting the number of this second choice, Chester did not allow himself to be carried away by motives of patriotism. In his soul there was a higher interest than love of country, and that was love of the little maiden who lived in the Street of the Orange Trees hasten the time when those trees should blossom for her and his benefit, upon their wedding morning. In the days of old, he had read, it was the brave knight's custom to go into conflict with his lady's name upon his lips and her colors upon his person; and in modern times, so he had heard, the fond lover, in the last stage of infatuation and idiocy, sometimes sits for his picture with his heart as full of thoughts of his mistress as is possible under the photographer's rigid discipline, so as to procure a speaking likeness for his lady-love. But as Chester was neither knight nor photographer's victim, he must choose other means of showing his devotion, and he did so by selecting a lottery ticket of the same number as the house she lived in, and thus, in this roundabout manner, dedicating his enterprise to her. Surely, he thought, fortune will smile upon this adventure, and Heaven will bless it, if Heaven ever stoops to interfere in matters of this kind. CHESTER SPECULATES. 311 In the evening Chester was taking his preliminary nap upon the sofa in the parlor, and the Colonel, his father, was walking up and down the room with that martial stride which he retained, with his sword and a scar or two, as a result of the late war. Once in a while he would stop to gaze upon his sleeping son and in paternal pride to forecast the honorable and prosperous manhood which must await the boy who spends his first ten dollars in works of art and education. In one of these halts, in which he stooped lower than usual, he discerned the corner of a peculiar piece of paper, with characters in red print, which protruded from Chester's vest-pocket. He drew it cautiously out, and bit his lip and knitted his brow as he read it, for it was ticket No. 157 in the approaching lottery for the benefit of some dirty little church in the suburbs. Having learned its contents, the B Colonel replaced it and resumed his walk, but stopping less often than before to prog- nosticate upon his son's future. "Well, Chester, my boy," said he, when occa- sion offered, "have you invested your ten dollars yet ? You ought to have bought a whole album full of pictures with so much money. Of course you have views of the Sugar Loaf and Corcovado and the Alley of Palms. Everybody gets them." "Well, no, not exactly," was the stammered re- ply. " I mean yes. I've got one, but it's only an an engraving." "Let us see it some time, won't you? We want to see how much of a connoisseur you are." "Yes, some time," Chester answered. "But 312 ROUND ABOUT RIO. I've got to get my French lesson now Que faille, que tu allies, qu'il aillej que nous allions, que vous alliez, quails aillent. Oh, dear, I don't see what they ever invented the subjunctive mode for ! We could get along just as well without it." The Colonel sighed over the duplicity of his son, and stepped into his office to open the letters of the day. It was not long before the next drawing, and on the following morning the eventful morning upon which the results would be published Chester, with the nonchalance of the practised gambler that he was becoming, overslept himself, but when he did appear his pulse quickened very rapidly and his eyes soon threw off the drowsiness of the night. The family were already at breakfast. The Col- onel had the Journal in his hands and was going through it with a deliberation that was maddening to Chester, who longed for it, but did not dare to say so. Finally he saw his father turn to the page where stood the dense columns of figures in which some thousands of people were to find their thrilling news of the day. Chester tried to get a glimpse of this portion, but whichever way he turned, and with eyes shut or open, he could see nothing but the blessed combination : No. 157, . . . 20. 000$ ooo which danced before his brain. "Another of these ruinous lotteries," said the Colonel. u They seem to have one about every other day. I consider them the one particular curse CHESTER SPECULATES. 313 of this country. Think how many homes have been impoverished to buy all of these tickets, and how many thousands of people will be heart-sick to find that they have drawn nothing but blanks ! But, on the other hand, there's one fellow who is prob- ably happy this morning. I wouldn't mind owning ticket No. 157 myself, even if it is immoral. But the holder of it is probably some poor laborer who will lose his head and get drunk and squander his ten thousand dollars the first year, and then he will be worse off than ever." A thrill of indescribable ecstasy shook Chester from head to toes as he heard these words. He felt as a man feels when he is elected to Congress or kissed by his sweetheart for the first time. As drowning people review all their past history in the one brief moment that remains to them of life, so the panorama of a rosy future floated past his moist- _ened eyes, and he saw himself in company with Bal- binda, who had orange blossoms and diamonds on her brow, seated in a yacht and sailing up the placid Hudson to their country-house upon its banks, where Robinson and Stacy, now Mr. and Mrs. Robinson, were to be their guests. If he had been a woman he would have fainted under all of this pressure of an imagination running riot. At last he found voice the low intense voice of great emotion and said : " Oh, father ! That's me ! I've got it! I've got it !" " What's that?" asked the Colonel, in feigned surprise. u You've got what, Chester? JSTot the fever, I hope." 314 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "No, the prize! I've got the grand prize the ten thousand dollars ! I've got ticket No. 157 ! Here it is !" And with trembling hands he unfolded and displayed it. "Why, what are you talking about, child? No. 157 didn't get the prize. Let's see. No. 157 is a blank. It was No. 4613 that drew the ten thousand dollars." The hand that writes this history never put pen to a more painful task than the reporting of the above words. It would have been so easy to make Ches- ter a lucky Tom Sawyer sort of a chap, finding his pot of gold in the shape of a lottery prize, that no one but the maker of books can appreciate the temp- tation that has been withstood. Besides, says the voice of froward impulse, where would be the harm, since it would have given joy untold to the writer, been perhaps more agreeable to the reader, and would certainly have given greater satisfaction to Chester himself? But history is history, steadfast conscience replies, and whoso introduces upon its sacred pages the sweet amenities of fiction can never hope to regain the confidence of a betrayed public. " Oh, father !" the boy cried, leaning his head upon the table and bursting into tears, ' ' You said it was No. 157 !" The yacht sunk in the waters, the country-house changed owners, Balbinda turned up her pretty little nose and said No, and Robinson and Stacy were respectively old bachelor and spinster. "What a mistake I did make !" mused the Colo- CHESTER SPECULATES. 315 nel, sympathetically. "It must be that my eye- sight is getting poor. I'll have to get a stronger pair of glasses, I guess. But then there isn't so much difference, after all, between No. 1ST and No. 4613. Younger eyes than mine might have made that error." From the pinnacles of rejoicing to the depths of despair was a long way to fall, and Chester contin- ued to sob as if his heart would break, while Pau- line joined in silently. "Poor boy!" said the Colonel. "So that is where your ten dollars went to, is it? It wasn't much of an engraving, after all. If I am any judge of art it was rather a cheap print. I'm sorry for you, Chester, but I'm glad you did it. It's a good lesson for you and will be worth ten times ten dol- lars to you, if you only mind its teachings. And, Chester, if you're not above receiving a point or two from one who is older and wiser than you, and has had a little experience in these things, I'll follow this up with a morsel of advice. Never you gam- ble again, my boy, in any kind of venture, whether gold mines, poker, or lotteries. It is the -sharpers who gain, and I am thankful that you are yet a green simpleton in this art." Chester winced as if this were a doubtful compli- ment for a young man of his years and experience to receive. 4 ' Yes, you are very fresh yet, my child, and while you have this freshness of honesty and uprightness about you, you are almost sure to lose. Even if you do gain a few dollars, it will cost you a blunting 316 ROUND ABOUT RIO. of your moral sense and a loss of prudence whose value cannot be estimated in money." " I'll never do so again," he sobbed. 4 'Yes, you must do so again," said the Colonel, 4 ' but after a peculiar method which I will describe to you. Every time a new lottery is advertised I want you to go to one of these kiosques where the tickets are pasted in the windows and deliberately pick out the number which you would choose if you were going to buy. Don't allow yourself to vacillate from that choice, but stick to it as firmly as if you had the ticket itself in your pocket. Write the number down in your diary and keep there a couple of columns of gain and loss, putting in one the cost of the tickets and in the other the amounts of the prizes. Follow up this course as long as we stay in Brazil, and you will have all of the excitement of this style of gambling without any of its penalties." Chester did so. Several times he had his money returned to him, and once he drew a prize of fifty dollars; but at the end of the season, when he came to balance his accounts of profit and loss, he found that he had had the pleasure of losing an imaginary sum of one hundred and twenty dollars. XXYI. LET'S TALK OF GRAVES. At Christmas I no more desire a rose Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth ; But like of each thing that in season grows. SHAKESPEARE. NOVEMBER, the last month of spring, waned into the early summer of December. The sun came on in its steady advance, reached its southern solstice, appeared to hang there in the zenith of Rio for a day or two, and then retraced its course toward the wintry north, looking back, however, with a sul- len and baleful eye, parching the streams of life and developing the germs of pestilence. Under such depressing circumstances, what could our friends do for further entertainment? All sources of amusement were gone. The opera com- pany had gathered up its robes and trophies and departed. Excursions and picnics were out of date, for even the most fanatic of pleasure-seekers were too sensible to leave the cool and comfortable shade of their thick-walled homes for the rain of fire which greeted them outside. " There is one thing left us, however," proposed Robinson. " We can go down to the beach to-mor- row morning and see the bathers. I'll swim you a race to Yillegagnon Island, Stacy, if you'll promise not to flirt with the officers there." sir 318 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "Agreed. Shall we go before breakfast?" "Before breakfast? I think so. Five o'clock at the very latest. If we're not home by seven the sun will strike us, sure. At six o'clock the streets are full of ladies in dowdy dresses, with long rolls of moist hair down their back, going home from their matutinal plunge." "The idea! But don't people bathe in the mid- dle of the day here ?" " Yes, with umbrellas. But I doubt your ability to hold an umbrella in your teeth and make a grace- , ful exhibition of yourself, I believe that's what women bathe for. Besides, a land-breeze might spring up, and, taking your umbrella for a sail, might blow you out to sea." "The people are great bathers down here, aren't they?" "Yes, as in all tropical countries. But, since it is simply a method of administering to their personal comfort, they deserve no great credit for it. The Esquimaux, who is obliged to use an ice-floe for a dressing-room, should have greater praise for his semi-annual ablution than the tropical savages who spend half of their lives in the water." Looking out of the window, Stacy saw the dense, dark, billowy green surface of the mountains and hills around. This intensity of verdure had an ominous and unnatural look in her eyes, accustomed as they were to the December snow-fields of her native land. In it she saw the rank growth of the grave-yard and the battle-field life rioting upon death. Though the forests were green at the top, LETS TALK OF GRAVES. 319 their roots sprang from decay, and in that decay were the seeds of fever and death. .She feared for the safety of their household. " Henry," she asked, "what is that old proverb about a green Christmas ? I can't help think about it. I dream about it nights." " 'A green Christmas makes a fat church-yard.' Cheerful prospect for us, isn't it? " "And is it true that the fever is spreading?" " You can almost taste it in the air." "Did you go to that funeral yesterday? What was his name?" "Arnold's? I did. Poor boy, he'll never see the pleasant slopes of the Connecticut Valley again." "Is it true that there weren't any ladies there?" "You artless girl! You might as well ask if women are admitted to the clubs down here. Why, his own mother wouldn't have been permitted the sad satisfaction of accompanying him on this excursion. !Nb, it was strictly an affair of the sterner sex, who ar- rived at the cemetery by the street-cars, and smoked and talked business and politics while awaiting the appointed hour for the final rites. One of these mourners got restless in the hot sun and demanded impatiently why they didn't hurry up and put the box into the hole. I must confess that that remark shocked even me, but then I haven't been here long enough to get acclimated. When the time came, the coffin was lowered, the last words were said, and then each of us, in turn, took a little scoop and threw in a handful of earth. To me that was the only pathetic part of the ceremony." 320 ROUND ABOUT RIO. " ' Oh ! Schwer istfs, in der J^remde sterben un- 'beweintj " quoted Stacy, sadly. " So says the poet," replied Robinson; " but no poet can realize liow hard it is to die unwept in foreign lands until he tries it down here in Brazil. Why, the authorities won't even let you rest \vithin the sanctified area of the cemetery, but consign you to the common ground where sleep the Jews, here- tics, suicides, and other outcasts. Nor do they give you that little grave, but so great is the demand for burial space down here that, after an occupancy of a few years, the helpless tenant is taken up and thrown into the general charnel-heap." " Oh, don't tell any more," begged Stacy. " I do hope that I won't die down here." u And I, too. I am particularly anxious that I shall not die here, because you couldn't go to my funeral if I did, and I would not for anything deprive you of the pleasure of going to my funeral." "It will give me unlimited pleasure," she mur- mured, in polite acknowledgment. "I don't believe in this thing of women going to funerals," said Chester. u They ought to say good- bye at home. They take on so that it makes us feel bad. Why, sometimes I've almost cried myself." "I know it's uncomfortable," replied Robinson, u to hear the women sob when the first clods rattle down, but a little of that discipline will not make our hearts any too tender. And if we do chime in a little with them sometimes, we're none the less manly for it. A man is never degraded by the pres- ence of a woman in grief, Chester, no matter who or LETS TALK OF GRAVES. 321 what that woman is. Weak though she is said to be, woman's influence is a power, a restraint, and a blessing. She keeps us in decorum at the funeral, just as she refines and civilizes us in the college class and at the social dinner. They stay at home here ; and just notice the result. As far as respect and solemnity are concerned, a fellow might as well be an ox going to a barbecue as a dead man on his way to Caju. I sincerely hope that I shall die before the system of bachelor funerals comes in fashion at home. I hope that when my time shall come, there will be at least one woman who will look into my grave and feel her eyes grow moist as she thinks, ' Poor fellow ! He had some good qual- ities. I loved him.' ' Stacy smiled to herself. "You say 'at least one woman,'" she observed. "Does it occur to you that it would be hardly con- ventional for more than one woman to indulge in all of those thoughts, since you are not a Mormon, and, I trust, not a deceiver ? But I was going to remark that if such a display of feminine weakness is essential to your future happiness, it is hardly safe for you to die at present. I would recommend you to seek a healthier climate immediately." "Let's go to Petropolis," cried Chester, bound- ing from his seat, and finding here an opportunity to advocate a long-cherished scheme of his. About this Petropolis : The world at large had recently two very distinguished guests. They were husband and wife, the Emperor and Empress of Brazil. Their names are Peter and Theresa. Hence 21 322 ROUND ABOUT RIO. the origin of these two other names, Petropolis and Theresopolis, which a loyal people have given to the two prettiest of all Brazilian villages. They lie just beyond the summit of the Organ Mountains, which cut the sky like a jagged wall, to the north of Rio, in the upland region of cloudy days and cool nights, where the mosquito and the yellow fever never come. Thither the thoughts of the people of the great city tend when the summer comes on. Thither, to the summer court of Petrop- olis, the imperial household move in the early No- vember. The Envoys Extraordinary and Ministers Plenipotentiary take up their great seals of office and follow. The wealthy merchants and doctors despatch their wives and daughters to this resort, for, as it is well known, nobody that is anybody remains in Rio during the unfashionable and un- healthy season. It may be asked, therefore, why it was that the Smith Family and Robinson saw the Christmas time, with its passion-plays at the theatres, come and go ; saw the New Year's Day, gaudy with its wealth of flowers, dawn upon them ; saw the fever-list in the morning papers increase with an alarming growth ; saw the thermometer rise day by day as if by some regular law, and yet they remained. The same thought had occurred to Chester more than once, and he had repeatedly urged a change of base. " Children," again he said to Robinson and Stacy, " would you like to go to the mountains with me ?" "Papa can't go yet," replied his sister. "Will this horrid 'business' never end, I wonder?" LETS TALK OF GRAVES. 323 "Doubtful," replied the boy. "I'm afraid we'll have to leave him." "Oh, but that would not be dutiful, nor pleasant, either," pleaded Stacy. " I'll fix that. If he orders us to go I guess we'll have to go, however great a sacrifice it may be. I'm going for the necessary orders." Chester lounged into his father's presence with an air of the greatest exhaustion. The great drops of perspiration stood out upon his forehead, for he had just been going through a severe course of gym- nastics in his own room, not for pleasure but for effect. His collar was wilted and the moisture appeared here and there through his garments, for he had not neglected the precaution of pouring a pint of water down his neck, at great expense to his comfort and with a great shock to his nervous system. He fell into a chair in that spread-eagle position indicative of August weather, in which no one limb is allowed to touch the other. Then he removed a large green leaf from his hat, fanned himself lan- guidly, and said: "It's awful hot!" "Why, my boy, you've been running. It's not warm to-day. See how cool and comfortable I am." "Can't help it, pa. You must be a salama- gander " "Eh! What's that?" "What lives in the fire, you know, and never burns up if you can keep cool such a day as this. It must be a hundred and over." 324 ROUND ABOUT RIO. "K"o, no; it's only eighty-something to-day. Just step into the office and see." It was only eighty-seven, but, by the patient application of a few burning matches to the bulb of the thermometer, the ingenious boy sent the col- umn of mercury up to a hundred and five degrees. "There, pa, what did I tell you ?" he cried out in triumph. " Now come and see for yourself!" The old gentleman looked, and was astonished ; adjusted his spectacles, and looked again. Fortu- nately he did not look too long, as the mercurial thread was rapidly falling as it cooled off. "I had 110 idea it was so hot," he said. u Hot ! Hot is no name for it. Why, they say that in February there's only the thickness of a sheet of paper between this town and the next place below. As I came past the Passeio Publico to-day I saw the ostrich with its tongue out and its wings held off at arm's length, just like an old hen on the fifteenth of August. Everybody left the city long ago. The yellow fever is getting awful bad." "I must send you away immediately," said the Colonel. fcC One of the Portuguese bull-fighters died last week, and the fellow they shoot out of a cannon at the circus, he's gone," continued Chester, following up his advantage. "It is said to be par-fo'