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 University of California. 
 
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LETTERS 
 
 MADRAS, 
 
 DURING THE YEARS 1836—1839. 
 
 BY A LAl)Y. 
 
 LIKRARY OF THE 
 
 University of California. 
 
 ( • / R C UL A Tl N G B A' A N C H . 
 
 Return in Wo weekX; or a week before the end of the term, 
 
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 LonJon: Printed by William Clowes and Sons, Stamford Street. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 The public attention has of late been so much directed to our 
 East Indian possessions, that any particulars concerning that 
 portion of the globe may probably find a welcome from the 
 general reader. It is under this impression that the following 
 Letters are offered to the public. They were written during the 
 years 1836, 37, 38, and 39, by a young married lady, who had 
 accompanied her husband to Madras for the first time, and they 
 are (with the necessary omission of family details) printed 
 verbatim from the originals. This will account for some abrupt- 
 ness of transition, and also for a colloquial familiarity of style, 
 which might easily have been remedied if it had not been thought 
 more advisable to give the correspondence in its genuine unso- 
 phisticated state. 
 
 Those who open the volume with an expectation of finding 
 details relative to the wars and vicissitudes which have lately 
 excited universal interest will be disappointed, as the writer 
 quitted India in 1840. Neither did she devote much attention 
 to public affairs, though she occasionally notices the apprehen- 
 sions and opinions that were prevalent at the time. But first 
 impressions, when they occur incidentally in a familiar narrative, 
 are amusing, and may sometimes be useful : such, indeed, con- 
 
 a 2 
 
INTKODUCTION. 
 
 stitute the chief feature in these Letters. The reader will also 
 find in them many traits of national character ; and some descrip- 
 tions of the Author's intercourse with the natives of Hindostan, 
 and of the endeavours in which she shared to improve their 
 condition. 
 
 It is proper to observe that, whenever European individuals 
 are mentioned, fictitious names have been assigned to them, and 
 other precautions taken to prevent the personal application of 
 such passages. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 LETTER THE FIRST. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Outward passage — Bay of Biscay— Combination of noises— Cure for 
 sea-sickness — Passengers— Land at Madeira — Visit to a convent — Re- 
 embarkation ...... ... 1 
 
 LETTER THE SECOND. 
 
 Letters for England — Amusements on board — The Tropics — The 
 " Wave " emigrant- vessel — Cape Verd — Fire-works — Slave-brig — 
 Whales 4 
 
 LETTER THE THIRD. 
 
 A Triton — Letter from Neptune— Ceremonies on crossing the Line — 
 Catching albatrosses ......... 7 
 
 LETTER THE FOURTH. 
 
 Tristan d'Acunha — Governor Glass — Land at the Cape — Cape Town — 
 Boa constrictor — English Church — Expenses — Society — Political 
 Parties — Schools — View from the Kloof— Return on board . .11 
 
 LETTER THE FIFTH. 
 
 Gales of wind — Passengers from the Cape — Landing at Madras— Cata- 
 marans — Witch of Fife's voyage — Curiosities— Snake-charmers — 
 Native servants — "Griffins" — Visitors — A native's advice — Native 
 servility — Treatment of servants — Jargon spoken by the English to 
 the natives .......... 16 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 LETTER THE SIXTH. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Bishop Corrie — Schools — A Moonshee — Lessons in Tamul — Dinner- 
 parties — General laziness — Letters from Natives . . . .22 
 
 LETTER THE SEVENTH. 
 
 Native entertainment— Mohammedan dancing-girls — Concert— Hindoo 
 dancing-girl — Conjurer — Supper — Hindoo speech . . . .26 
 
 LETTER THE EIGHTH. 
 
 Anxiety for despatches — Madras scenery — Moonshee's letter — Native 
 ignorance — Religion — Death of the Bishop — Dishonesty of native 
 servants — Trial of a thief— Reasons for submitting to a false charge . 30 
 
 LETTER THE NINTH. 
 
 Entomologising— St. Thome — Temperature— Wedding — Tamul trans- 
 lation — The tailor — Mohurrum — Excessive heat . . . .35 
 
 LETTER THE TENTH. 
 
 Preparing for a journey — Sail for Coringa — Land at Vizagapatam — 
 Arrive at Rajahmundry — Law-officers — Cholera — Domestic arrange- 
 ments — Peons — A traveller ...... 39 
 
 LETTER THE ELEVENTH. 
 
 Residents — Snakes— Hysenas— Thugs — Employment of time — Schemes 
 — Fishing for wood — The Barrack-sergeant— Poor travellers — Visit 
 from a Rajah — A Cobra capello — Snake-charmer . . . . 45 
 
 LETTER THE TWELFTH. 
 
 Domestic expenses — An amah — The butler's bills — Indian mode of 
 visiting — Religious service — Visit from " Penny- Whistle Row " — A 
 dialogue ........... 51 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 LETTER THE THIRTEENTH. 
 
 PAOE 
 
 Native school — Female education — Leopards — Hyaenas — Letter from the 
 Moonshee — M. d' Arzel — French adventures —An ensign and his pony 
 — School opened — Utility of Schools 56 
 
 LETTER THE FOURTEENTH. 
 
 Visit to " Penny- Whistle" — Dratcharrum — The Rajah's palace — Method 
 of dismissing visitors — Dinner — Procession — Pagoda — Amusements 
 — The Rajah's Wife — A new tribe 61 
 
 LETTER THE FIFTEENTH. 
 
 Instance of faithfulness — Progress of the school — " Curry-and-rice" 
 Christians — Want of missionaries— Topics of conversation — Visit to 
 Narsapoor — The missionaries and their wives — Palanquin travelling 
 — Return home 68 
 
 LETTER THE SIXTEENTH. 
 
 Discussion on divinity — Interruption to the school— Shore's ' Notes on 
 Indian affairs ' — English incivility to natives — Magazines and reviews 
 — Pagoda service — Progress of the school — Snake-poison —Remedies 
 for snake-bites — Dexterity of snake-charmers . . . .75 
 
 LETTER THE SEVENTEENTH. 
 
 Indian toy— Rule against accepting presents — Dishonesty of rich natives 
 — Company — Military and civilians — Hindoo tradition — A Moonshee 
 translator — Lending-library — School lectures — Indian spring . . 80 
 
 LETTER THE EIGHTEENTH. 
 
 Religious discussion— Parables — Fondness of natives for metaphysical 
 subtleties — Heads and tails — A native's notion of " charity " — Govern- 
 ment circular — Salutes in honour of the native religions — Presents to 
 idols by Government — Offerings to idols — Tricks of the Bramins — 
 Idolatry encouraged by Government— School-prizes — Motives for 
 learning English— A " tame boy "—Invitations to officers . . 86 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 LETTER THE NINETEENTH. 
 
 PAGE 
 
 Samuldavee — Native dialects — Moonshee's method of reading the Church 
 Prayer-book — " First-caste" monkeys — Jackals — Bramins' reasons for 
 preserving idols — A dishonest Zemindar — " Don " and the monkey . 9 2 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTIETH. 
 
 Filling of the rivers — Native indifference to truth on religious subjects 
 — Progress of the school— Moonshee's definition of idolatry — Quaint 
 translations — Land-wind — Moonshee's conscience — Boasting of natives 
 — Notions of honesty — Devotedness to employers — A false alarm . 96 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-FIRST. 
 
 Snakes— Green bugs— Thugs— Trial of a Moonsiff— Dutch settlement 
 — Black bugs — Return to Rajahmundry — A cool visitor — Captain and 
 
 Mrs. C Exchange of presents — Instance of encouragement 
 
 given to idolatry — Emigration of Hill Coolies — Proposed " Europe" 
 shop — The Dussera — Prospect of war — Visitors — An eclipse — Import- 
 ance attached to employment in a Government office — Indian " hos- 
 pitality" — Misgovernment — Moonshee's account of the eclipse — 
 Cause of superior progress of some of the scholars — National music — 
 News from Europe 100 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-SECOND. 
 
 Delay of the post — Distress of natives — Sale of grain — Captain and Mrs. 
 Kelly — Anxiety for letters — A lazy Moorman — The Hakeem and the 
 idol — State of the country — Shipwreck — Female education — Robbers 
 — Scarcity — Major C 's drawings — Bone-stones — Method of teach- 
 ing — Visit from " Penny-Whistle" — Progress of the school — Manage- 
 ment of children 109 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY- THIRD. 
 
 Decrease of the famine— Mode of distributing charity— Proposed native 
 reading-room— Gentoo newspaper — A ball — Narsapoor missionaries 
 — Reading-room opened — School-rewards— A Sunnyassee — Circu- 
 lating library 115 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH. 
 
 PAOE 
 
 Arrive at Samuldavee — Magic lantern — Schools — The Collector and the 
 Swamy — Christenings — A proxy — Abolition of the pilgrim-tax — De- 
 cline of idolatry — Want of elementary books — Schools — Letter to the 
 editor of a Madras newspaper on native education — Return of plenty 
 — Monsoon — A new school — Rajah Twelfth-cake — Society for pro- 
 tecting the natives — Native manner of ending letters . . .119 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH. 
 
 Birthday feast — School at Samuldavee — Converts — Rule of promotion — 
 Appointment — Chittoor — Masulipatam — Ramiahpatam — Arrive at 
 Madras — Native love of finery — Female Orphan Asylum — Education 
 — The " Caste " question — Addictedness of natives to perjury —Death 
 of Runjeet Singh — Suttee — English encouragement of idolatry — Re- 
 bellions — " Chit"-writing — Etiquette of visiting .... 129 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH. 
 
 Indian fever — Employment of a thorough Madras lady — Chittoor 
 — An unwelcome arrival — Bangalore — The Pettah — Inhabitants — 
 A Moorish horseman — Architecture — Hindoo mythology — Reported 
 conversion of a Hindoo tribe . . . . . . .137 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-SEVENTH. 
 
 Climate — European ladies in Bangalore — Conspiracy at Kurnool — Unjust 
 proceeding at Rajahmundry — Storm on the coast — Poverty of the 
 people— A " crack" Collector— End of the conspiracy— Return of the 
 troops— Expectations of a war with China— Conclusion . . 142 
 
LETTERS FROM MADRAS, 
 
 LETTER THE FIRST. 
 
 Bay of Biscay, August 17th. 
 I begin now, in hopes of meeting a ship, to tell you our histo- 
 ries. This is the first day I have been well enough to write ; 
 and I am not very steady yet, as you may perceive, but still we 
 are all exceedingly well— for the Bay of Biscay. 
 
 We have persuaded my brother Frank to go with us as far as 
 Madeira, and take his chance of finding a homeward-bound 
 ship. * 
 
 The Captain says he never had so smooth a passage, but there 
 is a good deal of swell here. The wind allows of our passing 
 outside the roughest part of this unfortunate Bay, which is a 
 very great advantage. 
 
 Mrs. M was quite right in advising us to take the round- 
 house. There is much more air than in the lower cabins, and 
 the noises do not annoy me at all. We all go to bed at nine 
 o'clock, so that it is no hardship to be awakened at five. Cer- 
 tainly, the first morning, when I woke, there did seem to be as 
 quaint a combination and succession of noises as could well be 
 imagined. Pigs, dogs, poultry, cow, cats, sheep, all in concert 
 at sunrise. Then the nursery noises : Major O'Brien twittering 
 to his baby — the baby squealing — the nurse singing and squall- 
 ing to it — the mamma cooing to it. Then the cuddy noises : 
 all the servants quarrelling for their clothes, &c. &c. So on till 
 breakfast-time. 
 
 I was too sick to laugh then, and I am used to it now. Then, 
 when I was as sick and cross as possible, in came my Irish maid 
 Freeman with a great plate of beefsteak and potatoes. I ex- 
 
 B 
 
2 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. i. 
 
 claimed in despair at the very sight of it, " Oh, what is all that 
 for ? dear me ! " — " Sure, it 's for you to ate, ma'am." — " Eat ! 
 I can't eat." — " Oh, you must ate it all, ma'am : you 've no no- 
 tion how well you would be if you would only ate hearty !" Her 
 cramming was a great bore, but she cured me by it. Frank is 
 nearly mad : he is in such raptures with everything on board, I 
 think he will end by turning ship's surgeon. The first night his 
 hammock was slung under the doctor's. The poor doctor com- 
 plained to me in the morning how very odd it was he could not 
 keep his cot steady, — he had been swinging about, he said, all 
 night. Frank confided to me privately the reason, viz. that the 
 doctor looked so tempting over his head, he could not resist 
 swinging him at every opportunity. However, next night he 
 was found out, for the doctor peeped over the top of his cot and 
 caught him in the fact ; and when Mr. Darke, the second mate, 
 came into the cabin, poor Dr. Lowe exclaimed, " Here, Darke ! 
 I could not imagine why I could not keep my cot steady all 
 night, and at last I looked over the top, when I found this 
 precious fellow swinging me ! " 
 
 Our passengers are Mr. and Mrs. Wilde (he is going to St. 
 Helena as Chief Justice : they go with us to the Cape, and there 
 wait for a homeward-bound ship to take them to St. Helena) ; 
 — the O'Briens ; — Miss Shields, good humoured and lively, going 
 out as a missionary ; — Miss Knight, sick and solemn ; — several 
 Irish girls apparently on their promotion ; — Mr. Harvey, who 
 plays chess, and takes care of his flowers : he has them in an 
 hermetically sealed glass case, which he is taking to the Cape ; 
 — a number of hitherto unnamed gentlemen, who sit down to 
 eat and drink, and rise up to play ; — one or two pretty boys, 
 who saunter about with Lord Byron in hand ; — and Mr. Stevens, 
 the missionary, who is good and gentle, but so sick that we have 
 not yet made much acquaintance : he is getting better, and talks 
 of reading the service next Sunday. 
 
 August 23rd. Funchal. — Here we are on shore again, in 
 this beautiful Madeira, and all excessively thankful and happy to 
 be out of our ship, though it is very hot on shore, compared with 
 the real sea air : it has been quite cold at sea. Our chief em- 
 ployment just now is eating figs and grapes, and planning our 
 excursions for to-morrow. We have been landed about an hour, 
 
let. i.] MADEIRA. 
 
 and are to remain here till Thursday. Frank is gone to the 
 consul to get a passport, and inquire about a ship to take him 
 home. We are grown pretty well used to the life on board ship. 
 Everybody is good-natured and civil. Captain Faulkner is our 
 chief crony, but we are all good friends. I am beginning greatly 
 to enjoy some parts of our sea-life, especially the bright blue 
 water, and the bright yellow moonlight, — such colours as no 
 shoregoing people ever saw. 
 
 August 25th. — Madeira is very lively, very like Lucca : the 
 country, and the heat, and the people, are Italy over again. We 
 have just been to visit a convent here. There is not much to be 
 seen. The nuns spoke to us through a double grating and sold 
 us flowers. Nobody is allowed to see the inside of the convent. 
 They spoke nothing but Portuguese. They came to me, chirping, 
 and asking me to talk to them, and to tell them something ; but, 
 unluckily, though I could understand what they said to me, I 
 could not answer a word ; so we were obliged to be content with 
 nodding and bobbing, and looking friendly at each other. We 
 have taken some beautiful rides and gathered nosegays of wild 
 flowers — heliotropes, roses, fuchsias, and every variety of gera- 
 niums. To-night we go on board again, leaving Frank here to 
 find his way home by the first ship. We shall be very anxious to 
 hear his adventures : I am afraid he may be obliged to go round 
 by Lisbon, for no English ship is expected just at present. The 
 Captain has sent his summons for us, so I must say " Good-bye.' 
 
 B 2 
 
LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. ii. 
 
 LETTER THE SECOND. 
 
 August 29th, Lat. 22° N., Lon. 23£° W. 
 The Captain has just told us that he expects to pass a ship every 
 day, so we are all setting to work getting our letters ready, as 
 he only allows five minutes for sealing and sending off. I hope, 
 by the time you receive this letter, Frank will have arrived 
 safely at home, and not the worse for his journey. Pray make 
 him write to me directly ; I shall be quite uneasy till I hear 
 from him, for we left him at Madeira quite ignorant of what his 
 plans might be. Everybody on board was very sorry to lose 
 him, and they all sing his praises with much good taste. 
 
 We are now entering the Tropics, and the weather is still 
 cool, owing to the constant breeze. We have had no calms, but 
 on an average have made about one hundred and fifty miles in 
 the twenty-four hours. I suspect I shall never get over the sea- 
 sickness in rough weather, and I almost give up the hope of 
 employing myself, for I really can do nothing ; but as long as I 
 keep quiet, and do not interrupt my idleness, I am much better. 
 Towards evening, like all other sea-sick people, I grow very 
 brisk, and can walk the quarter-deck, and chirp with anybody. 
 Our chief adventures since we left Madeira have been the sight 
 of flying-fish and porpoises. I made a good many sketches at 
 Madeira, but cannot work much towards finishing them. I have 
 learnt two or three Tamul verbs, and read different bits of dif- 
 ferent books — made the Captain teach me now and then a little 
 geography, and the first mate a little astronomy' — finished Mel- 
 ville's ' University Sermons' — chatted with our fellow-passengers 
 — and that is all I have done ; and in fact that is the way most 
 of the ladies spend their time on board ship. We are too uncom- 
 fortable to be industrious, and too much interrupted and unsettled 
 to be busy. 
 
 September 3rd. — We are beginning to be aware of our lati- 
 tude. The trade-winds have left us, and we have a strong sus- 
 picion of a calm coming on ; but, unluckily, calm does not 
 
let. ii.] THE TROPICS— FIREWORKS. 5 
 
 mean smooth, for the rocking and rolling are just as bad as 
 when we had plenty of wind. The thermometer now stands at 
 78° in the day, and higher, I should think, in the night ; but our 
 cabin is certainly the coolest of any, and I have not yet found 
 the heat unbearable. The gentlemen are all " rigged Tropical," 
 with their collars turned down, and small matters of neckcloths ; 
 — grisly Guys some of them turn out ! The very sea looks 
 tepid, and goes past with a lazy roll, as if it was too languid to 
 carry us on. 
 
 We live in hopes of catching a shark : one was seen this 
 morning, but he was too cunning for us. We are also on the 
 look-out for an albatross. When we first sailed, all the gentle- 
 men protested against the horror of ever shooting an albatross, 
 and quoted the Ancient Mariner at every opportunity ; but since 
 the 1st of September, the recollections of the shooting season 
 have greatly softened down the sentiment, and they are now 
 ready for all the albatrosses that may make their appearance. 
 They say " they think that old fellow of Coleridge's must have 
 been a horrid bore." We passed the Cape de Verd Islands the 
 day before yesterday, but did not go on shore. They are not 
 much of a sight. 
 
 September 9th. — Yesterday we overtook a ship going to New 
 South Wales, filled with settlers and live stock. A good many 
 of our gentlemen went on board, and brought back miserable 
 accounts of the discomforts of the ship compared with ours. 
 This ship (the " Wave ") left England before us, but we over- 
 take all the ships. Mr. Kenrick, our first mate, says he thinks 
 he should feel quite mortified at being in a ship which let others 
 pass her, but he supposes it is all habit! The " Wave" had 
 felt a good deal of bad weather from going inside the Cape de 
 
 Verd Islands, instead of outside, as we did. Captain says 
 
 he never settles his course till he sees how the weather promises ; 
 and this time he thought the outside would be best — which 
 we all consider very clever of our skipper. At night we had a 
 show of fireworks, that the two ships might know each other's 
 places : it was really very pretty. We, being magnificent, sent 
 up two blue-lights and two skyrockets: the blue-lights were 
 the best ; it looked as if the whole concern — ship, sails, and sea 
 — were playing at snap-dragon: altogether it was the best ad- 
 
6 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. ii. 
 
 venture we have had. I contrived to creep forward to see it, 
 but I have been ill and keeping to my cabin lately. I sit with 
 the door open, which gives me plenty of air : and if I spy any 
 of the ladies looking neighbourly, as if they thought of " sitting 
 with me," I just shut my eyes, which answers as well as " sport- 
 ing my oak," and does not exclude the air ; but they must think 
 I get plenty of sleep ! 
 
 September 24th. — Yesterday, at three o'clock in the morning, 
 we came up with a French brig bound from Madagascar to Rio. 
 She was, as the sailors said, " A most beautiful little craft ! " 
 and looked to great advantage in the moonlight: I put my head 
 out of the port to admire her and listen to the conversation, 
 little suspecting her real character ; but next morning the skip- 
 per told us there was no doubt she was a piratical slaver, and 
 that, if we had been a ship of war, we should have stopped and 
 examined her ; but we are not strong enough for such adven- 
 tures, so she and her poor slaves are gone on. Next morning 
 we saw two whales playing in the waters, swimming, blowing, 
 jumping, turning head over heels, and pleasuring themselves, 
 as if they had been minnows. 
 
 October 1st. — News of a homeward-bound ship in the distance, 
 so I must get ready. 
 
let. in.] LETTER FROM NEPTUNE. 
 
 LETTER THE THIRD. 
 
 TO HER YOUNGER BROTHER. 
 
 Herewith you will receive a full, true, and particular account 
 of the ceremony of shaving on crossing the Line, which you are 
 requested to communicate to " Master Frank," whose absence 
 was most particularly regretted on the occasion. The night 
 before, we heard some one call out that a sail was in sight, upon 
 which I scrambled out on deck in the greatest possible hurry, 
 in hopes of an opportunity of sending a letter to Mamma. When 
 I got out, all the officers began to laugh at me, and I found that 
 the announcement was merely some of the Tritons informing 
 Neptune of the arrival of our ship. About an hour afterwards, 
 a Triton suddenly appeared on the quarter-deck, dressed up in 
 oil-cloth and rags, and bits of rope, &c. &c, bringing a letter 
 from Neptune to the Captain, and waiting for an answer. 
 
 The Captain read the letter aloud : it was very civil, saying 
 how happy Neptune was to see the Captain again, and that he 
 would come on board at one o'clock next day, and have the 
 pleasure of introducing any of the youngsters to his dominions : 
 he condoled with the ladies who had been suffering from sea- 
 sickness, and hoped to have the honour of seeing them all in the 
 morning. 
 
 The Captain sent his compliments in return, with a cordial 
 invitation to Neptune for the next day, only begging that he 
 would use the youngsters very civilly. 
 
 Triton then took a glass of grog and made his bow. Then a 
 lighted tar-barrel was sent off from the ship, supposed to be 
 Triton's boat going off, and the first mate lighted him home with 
 blue-lights and skyrockets. Altogether it had a very fine 
 effect. Next morning the usual tricks were played on the 
 novices. One young midshipman was up before light " to look 
 out for the Line." Another saw it, as well he might, a hair 
 
8 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. hi. 
 
 having been put inside his telescope. Another declared he felt 
 the bunt of the Line at the moment we crossed it. When I 
 came out I beheld a great sail stretched across the deck, just in 
 front of the main-mast, so that we could see nothing, except that 
 on the other side of it there was an immense slop oozing out 
 from something, and in front was written " Neptune's original 
 easy shaving-shop." At the appointed time the sale was hauled 
 away, and we saw all the contrivances. At the starboard gang- 
 way there was a sail hung across two masts, stretched from the 
 bulwark to the long-boat, so as to make a great bag, filled about 
 four or five feet deep with water : there was also a ladder by 
 which to help the victims in on one side, but nothing to help them 
 out on the other. On the other side of the ship were all Nep- 
 tune's party, hallooing and bawling with speaking-trumpets. 
 Neptune himself was not a bad figure. Face and legs painted 
 black and white, and dressed up a la Guy, with oil-cloth and 
 bits of rope and yarn hanging on each side of his head. He sat 
 in his car with his wife and daughter, who were merely dressed 
 up in gowns and bonnets begged of the maids. The car was 
 drawn by eight Tritons with painted legs, and black horns on 
 their heads. Neptune was accompanied by his secretary, his 
 doctor, and his bear, who was, by far, the best of the set, dressed 
 in sheep-skins, and held by two Tritons. 
 
 We were all on the poop, to be out of the way of the mess ; 
 and all the gentlemen who had not crossed the Line before had 
 taken care to dress conformably, in jerseys and trowsers, and no 
 stockings. Presently all the party came aft, and Neptune and 
 the Captain had a conversation concerning the news of the ship 
 and Neptune's own private history. " How are you off for 
 fish, Mr. Neptune ? " " Very badly, indeed, sir : I 've had 
 nothing these two months but a bit of an old soldier who was 
 thrown overboard; and he was so tough I could not eat him." 
 Bear began to growl. " Can't you keep that beast quiet ? " said 
 Neptune. Tritons tugged at bear. Bear sprawled and flounced, 
 knocked down two men, all rolling in the slop together ; at last 
 Tritons tugged bear into order. The Captain desired Neptune 
 to proceed to business : so the bear got into the sail, that 
 being his domain, in order to duck the victims. The barber 
 brought out his razor and shaving-pot, which were an old saw and 
 
let. in.] CROSSING THE LINE. 9 
 
 a tar-brush, and established himself on the top of the lad- 
 der ; the doctor at the bottom, with a box of tar-pills and a 
 smelling-bottle, with the cork stuck full of pins ; and all the 
 Tritons with buckets of water in their hands. The two first 
 mates went upon deck " to see fair play," as I was told. Of 
 course, fair play is always a jewel, but in the present case it proved 
 rather a rough diamond; for before many minutes were over 
 Mr. Darke had a bucket of water in his hands, as hard at work 
 as anybody ; and Mr. Kenrick was mounted on the top of the 
 hay, working a water-pipe in full play. Then a Triton came on 
 the poop to summon down the passengers, and began with Cap- 
 tain Faulkner. 
 
 As soon as he got on deck they received him with buckets 
 of Mater, and hunted him up the ladder and into the bear's domi- 
 nions. They had orders not to shave the gentlemen, only to 
 duck them, which hurt nobody. Then came a scuffle between 
 gentleman and bear, which ended by both going under water 
 together. Then bear's work was done, and gentleman had to 
 scramble out how he could, people being stationed on the other 
 side with buckets of water, " a dissuading of the victim :" how- 
 ever, he got free at last, and was quite ready to help drown all 
 the others, as their turn came round. Young Temple managed 
 best : he was so strong and active that the great bear (who was 
 the most powerful man in the ship) could not get him under the 
 water at all ; but he kicked the barber down the ladder, and then, 
 in spite of the water-pipe playing in his face, sprang on to the 
 bear's back, like a monkey, and with one more leap cleared bear, 
 bath, and buckets, and was in the midst of the liberated party, 
 ready to take his share of the fun without having been touched 
 by anybody. After they had settled all the stranger gentlemen, 
 they took the midshipmen, and then the sailors. The gentlemen 
 and midshipmen were all very good sport, but the sailors grew 
 rather savage with each other, and especially when they came to 
 shaving with tar and their rusty saw. The end of all was 
 Samson : Samson is a very little boy, who had a name of his 
 own when he came on board, but it is quite forgotten now, and 
 he is always called Samson, because he is so small and weak. 
 They shaved him very gently and good-naturedly, holding him 
 on their knees, as the monkey did Gulliver, and then bathed him, 
 
10 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. hi. 
 
 . ^ . 
 
 and handed him over from one to another just like a baby : the 
 poor little thing, partly frightened and partly amused, looked as 
 if he scarcely knew whether to laugh or to cry ; so he did both. 
 This was the whole concern, I think. 
 
 We have seen plenty of whales and shoals of porpoises, and 
 caught four albatrosses. They catch them by fishing with a line 
 and a bait : the albatross comes peering at the bait in hopes of 
 its being a fish, entangles himself in the line, and is drawn on deck 
 quite easily, unhurt : when they are on deck they look about them 
 and squall : they are rather stupid : they will not eat, but snap 
 at anybody who is civil to them. They patter about with their 
 great web feet, and seem to like to watch what is going on, but 
 they are not really tame, only stupid : they are about the size of 
 a large turkey, and have very long bills ; some are all grey, but 
 the largest are white and grey : they are rather handsome birds. 
 Three of those we caught were set at liberty, but one was killed, 
 to be stuffed. I am trying to get some of his feathers for 
 Frank. Do not forget you promised to write to me. Be sure 
 and send me off a letter as soon as ever you have taken your 
 degree, for I shall be most particularly anxious to hear of that 
 grand event. 
 
 Tell me everything you can about all at home. The more 
 trifles and the less worth telling they seem to you, the more valu- 
 able to me at such a distance. 
 
let. iv.] TRISTAN D'ACUNHA. 11 
 
 LETTER THE FOURTH. 
 
 October 6th. 
 Yesterday we arrived at Tristan d'Acunha : very few ships 
 touch there, on account of its being out of the way ; but occa- 
 sionally, as was the case with us, the wind allows of it, and good- 
 natured skippers are glad when it so happens, on account of the 
 poor Robinson Crusoes who live there. 
 
 Tristan d'Acunha is an extinct volcano, so steep that it seems 
 to rise perpendicularly from the sea : the Captain told me it was 
 eight thousand feet high. It is almost a bare rock, but here and 
 there are patches of ground which can be cultivated. In Bona- 
 parte's time, Lord Castlereagh took a fancy that the French 
 might make it useful as an intermediate point of communication 
 with St. Helena : sailors say it was an absurd notion, for that the 
 winds and currents make it impossible for any ship to sail from 
 the one island to the other. However, Lord C. established a 
 corporal and party of soldiers to take care of the island. When 
 all fear of Boney was over, they were sent for home ; but some of 
 them had grown so fond of their desert island, that they begged 
 leave to remain, and here they have been these twenty years — 
 Corporal Glass, now styled the Governor, and five of his men, 
 with their six wives, and among them thirty-two children. It 
 was not possible for us to go on shore, but Glass and four of his 
 men came off to see us. They looked very healthy and comfort- 
 able — cared not a sous for anything out of their island — and did 
 not ask one question concerning anything outside their own little 
 rock. The Captain gave them a good supper and plenty of valu- 
 able presents, and everybody made up a parcel of clothes or some 
 little oddments. They said what they most wanted was nails, as 
 the wind had lately blown down their houses. They have fifty 
 head of cattle and a hundred sheep ; a little corn, twelve acres of 
 potatoes, plenty of apples and pears, and " ecco tutto 1 " I was 
 curious to know whether old Glass was master, and whether the 
 
12 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. rv. 
 
 others minded him ; but he said no one was master ; that the 
 men never quarrel, but the women do ; that they have no laws 
 nor rules, and are all very happy together ; and that no one ever 
 interferes with another. Old Glass does a great deal of extra 
 work ; he is schoolmaster to the children, and says many of his 
 scholars can read the Bible " quite pretty." He is also chaplain, 
 — buries and christens, and reads the service every Sunday, " all 
 according to the Church of England, Sir." They had only Blair's 
 Sermons, which they have read every Sunday for the last ten 
 years, ever since they have possessed them ; but the old man said, 
 very innocently, " We do not understand them yet : I suppose 
 they are too good for us." Of course they were well supplied 
 with books before they left us. They make all their own clothes 
 out of canvas given them by the whalers ; they sew them with 
 twine, and they looked very respectable : but they said it was not 
 so easy to dress the ladies, and they were exceedingly glad of any 
 old clothes we could rummage out for them. Their shoes are 
 made of seal-skin : they put their feet into the skin while it is 
 moist, and let it dry to the shape of the foot, and it turns out a 
 very tidy shoe. 
 
 After they had collected all the " incoherent odds and ends " 
 we could find for them, and finished their supper, they went off 
 again in a beautiful little boat given them by a whaler. The 
 Skipper gave the Governor a salute of one gun, two blue-lights, 
 and two rockets ; and they treated us with a bonfire from the 
 shore. I was sorry for several things I had left behind, which 
 would have been treasures to Mrs. Glass, especially worsted for 
 knitting. 
 
 These South Seas are much worse than the Bay of Biscay ; 
 nothing but rolling by day and by night : but we are all looking 
 forward to a week at the Cape to set us right again. 
 
 October 19th. Cape of Good Hope. — We landed here on 
 Sunday morning, and were very happy to find ourselves on shore. 
 We are to stay a week, and have hired horses, and mean to ride 
 every day. 
 
 Cape Town is just like the Dutch toy-towns — straight streets ; 
 white houses of only two stories, with flat roofs ; trees in almost 
 every street. The place is filled with English, Dutch, Hotten- 
 tots, Malays, Parsees, fleas, and bugs ; the last appear to be the 
 
let. iv.] CAPE TOWN. 13 
 
 principal inhabitants and the oldest settlers. At first we got into 
 a Dutch boarding-house, which Frank would have called the 
 " Hotel de Bugs ;" now we are in an English lodging, much 
 cleaner ; only we have to wait on ourselves a good deal. 
 
 On leaving the ship we all divided into separate parties, as at 
 Madeira : ours consists of ourselves, Misses Shields and Knight, 
 Captain Faulkner, and Mr. Temple. Mr. Temple is a tame 
 boy, whom Captain F. looks after, for fear he should get into 
 scrapes on shore — going out as a cadet. He is very merry, 
 good-natured, and hungry ; and his company and pretty fresh 
 face come very natural to me, and remind me of my brothers. 
 I especially like him when he is very hungry. 
 
 We all went yesterday to see a live boa constrictor : he was 
 the most horrible creature I ever saw ; thirty-three feet long, 
 greenish and brownish, and with a few silver scales, but the 
 most detestable countenance you can imagine. If the Lady 
 Geraldine's eyes were like his when they shrunk in her head, I 
 do not wonder at anything that happened to Christabel. 
 
 I hear there is a Hottentot infant-school here, which I mean 
 to go and see ; but we make all our distant excursions first ; we 
 have been about fifteen miles into the country. It is not so 
 pretty as Madeira, but there are one or two magnificent views : 
 the chief characteristics of the scenery are high rocks, green 
 grass, and white sand, but the white sand is entirely covered 
 with flowers — English hothouse flowers, growing wild. 
 
 "We went to the English church twice on Sunday — a pretty 
 church, built by the English residents, with a respectable High- 
 church clergyman — somewhat dull. There is a Sunday-school 
 belonging to the church, and taught principally by English 
 ladies. Here are plenty of Methodist chapels ; the Wesleyans 
 are said to be the best. 
 
 There is a very poor museum ; but I bought at it a couple of 
 
 ugly shells for the C s. I hope they will not break in 
 
 coming. Mr. Harvey, who is very scientific, says they are 
 curious, and " right to have :" they are land-shells — Achatina. 
 
 Papa always likes to know how a place would answer to live 
 at ; so tell him that here there are three prices : one cheap, for 
 Dutch ; one dear, for English ; and one dearest, for visitors : we 
 pay the dearest, of course ; and we get six mutton-chops for 
 
14 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. <"let. iv 
 
 fourpence halfpenny, and everything else in proportion. Houses 
 are dear, and society baddish — second-rate — with a great deal of 
 quarrelling concerning Colonial politics. Instead of Whigs and 
 Tories, they have the Caffre party and the Government party, 
 who will scarcely speak to each other. 
 
 We dined yesterday with some people named Wilderspin — 
 queer, and good, and civil : they have been many years at the 
 Cape, and are most curiously adrift as to English matters. Thej 
 asked whether O'Connell was still " celebrated in England ?" 
 whether he was received in good society ? whether party -spirit 
 ran high? whether there were many disputes among Church- 
 people and Dissenters? &c. 
 
 I saw at the Wilderspins' a Miss Bazacot, who is here super- 
 intending the schools : she seems really clever, and minding her 
 schools well. The Hottentots are very willing to come, both to 
 week-day and Sunday schools. English, Malay, and Hottentot 
 children are all taught together. At one of the schools there 
 was a little Malay girl, who had learned to read, but was very 
 dull at learning her tasks by heart, when suddenly she grew 
 uncommonly bright, and knew all her texts, chapter and verse, 
 better than any child in the school : when the mistress made 
 inquiries into the cause of this great improvement, she found 
 that the creature had taught her old Malay father to read, and 
 he in return used to take immense pains in teaching the child 
 her texts, till they were thoroughly driven into her head : she 
 taught him to read and to pray ; and now, every night before 
 he goes to bed, he repeats his prayers and the rules of the school! 
 I think the innocence of repeating the rules is very pretty. 
 
 I have got a Malay cap, for Frank's private admiration : they 
 are high pointed things, made of straw and wicker-work, very 
 uncouth, but picturesque-looking, especially on the boatmen. 
 
 We have been up the Kloof. I long to go up Table Moun- 
 tain, but it is thought unsafe. When the cloud that they call 
 the Table-cloth comes down, people are often lost in the fog. 
 There is a magnificent view from the top of the Kloof — Cape 
 Town, and the plain, and the hills on one side ; and on the other 
 only the sea and the rocks — but such sea, and such rocks, that 
 anything else would be but an interruption, frittering away their 
 grandeur. It is a sort of Chine, as they call the openings between 
 
let. iv.] VIEW FROM THE KLOOF. 15 
 
 the hills in the Isle of Wight : the side on which we stood, covered 
 with the beautiful silver-tree ; and, directly opposite, the immense 
 rock of Table Moeyitain overhung by its cloud, and the sea at its 
 base, so far below, that the roar of the breakers round Green 
 Point is only a murmur that just softens the silence. To-morrow 
 we go on board again, leaving here our fellow-passengers, Mr. 
 and Mrs. Wilde and Mr. Harvey. We shall all be sorry to part 
 with them : their cabins are taken by people returning from the 
 Cape to Madras, and we shall think ourselves very fortunate if 
 our new companions are as agreeable and friendly as those we 
 lose. 
 
 H> o* -rue: ' " 
 
 u 
 
 '%XFQU^ 
 
16 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. v. 
 
 LETTER THE FIFTH. 
 
 Madras, December 19th. 
 Here we are at last, in our cousin Staunton's house, safe and 
 well. He and his wife very kind and friendly, and I like all 
 that I have seen of the place and the people. We are most 
 happy and thankful to be on shore. The latter part of our voyage 
 was very wearisome. After leaving the Cape we had a constant 
 succession of gales of wind, very often contrary, and what the 
 sailors called " a chopping sea," pitching and tossing us every 
 way at once ; and whenever we asked whether there was any 
 hope of a change, the sailors answered, " No, there seems a fresh 
 hand at the bellows." Then we had calms where we did not 
 expect them, and the Captain said there had been a hurricane 
 somewhere, which had " upset all the winds." Then many of 
 the passengers grew tired of one another, and squabbled a little 
 for amusement, as it is said they always do after passing the 
 Cape ; and though the skipper used to harangue concerning the 
 affecting scenes he always witnessed on the passengers leaving 
 the ship, nobody seemed to agree with him. The passengers we 
 took in at the Cape were chiefly officers in the Indian army, who 
 went out as cadets before they had learnt much, and since that 
 time had pretty well forgotten the little they knew. They might 
 have been divided into two classes — those who knew their declen- 
 sions, and those who did not. They were particularly fond of 
 grammatical discussions, and quite eager about them, — such as 
 whether any English words were really derived from the Latin ; 
 whether regiment is to be considered as a word of three syllables 
 or two ; whether lunatic comes from the French, because " loon " 
 is French for moon, &c. They used also to extend their acquire- 
 ments by the study of navigation. After breakfast the captain 
 and officers always took an observation of the sun, technically 
 called " taking a sight." Then the passengers all began doing 
 
let. v.] LANDING. 17 
 
 the same, privately called " taking a look." They were a capital 
 set in their attitudes, with their glasses, all peering up into the 
 sky, a la chasse for the sun and moon. However, they were 
 all very civil, and inoffensive, and unobjectionable; and I hope 
 they are all as happy on shore as we are. 
 
 We had a beautiful day for landing — no surf at all. In Eng- 
 land I have often bathed in a worse sea. It is very curious that 
 the Madras surf should be so formidable : it generally looks no- 
 thing, not to compare to a Brighton rough sea ; but in reality its 
 force is irresistible. I sometimes see the great lumbering 
 Masoolah boats as nearly as possible upset by waves which look 
 so gentle and quiet that one longs to bathe in them. We landed 
 in a great boat with twelve boatmen, all singing a queer kind of 
 howl, and with very small matters of clothes on, but their black 
 skins prevent them from looking so very uncomfortable as 
 Europeans would in the same minus state. 
 
 The scene in the Madras Eoads is the brightest and liveliest 
 possible. The sea is completely studded with ships and boats of 
 every size and shape, and the boats filled with crews even more 
 quaint and picturesque than themselves. But none can compare 
 to the catamarans, and the wonderful people that manage them. 
 Fancy a raft of only three logs of wood, tied together at each end 
 when they go out to sea, and untied and left to dry on the beach 
 when they come in again. Each catamaran has one, two, or 
 three men to manage it : they sit crouched upon their heels, 
 throwing their paddles about very dexterously, but remarkably 
 unlike rowing. In one of the early Indian voyagers' log-books 
 there is an entry concerning a catamaran : " This morning, six 
 a.m., saw distinctly two black devils playing at single-stick. We 
 watched these infernal imps above an hour, when they were lost 
 in the distance. Surely this doth portend some great tempest." 
 It is very curious to watch these catamarans putting out to sea. 
 They get through the fiercest surf, sometimes dancing at their 
 ease on the top of the waves, sometimes hidden under the waters ; 
 sometimes the man completely washed off his catamaran, and man 
 floating one way and catamaran another, till they seem to catch 
 each other again by magic. They put me in mind of the witch 
 of Fife's voyage in her cockle-shell : — 
 
 c 
 
18 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. v. 
 
 " And aye we mountit the sea-green hillis, 
 
 Till we brushed through the clouds of the hevin ; 
 Then sousit downright, like the star-shot light 
 Frae the liftis blue casement driven. 
 
 But our taickil stood, and our bark was good, 
 
 And sae pang was our pearly prowe, 
 Whan we could not climb the brow of the waves, 
 
 We needlit them through below." 
 
 December 27th. — I think I shall like Madras very much, and 
 I am greatly amused with all I see and hear. The heat now is 
 not at all oppressive, this being the cool season. The houses 
 are so airy and large, and the air so light, that one does not feel 
 the heat so much as one would in Italy when the temperature is 
 the same. At present the thermometer is at 78°, but it feels so 
 much cooler, from the thorough draughts they keep up in every 
 room, that I would not believe it to be more than 70°, till I 
 looked with my own eyes. The rooms are as large as chapels, 
 and made up of doors and windows, open day and night. I have 
 seen so many curiosities already, that I do not know which to 
 describe to you first — jugglers, tumblers, snake-charmers, native 
 visitors, &c. &c. ; for the last few days we have been in a con- 
 stant bustle. Those snake-charmers are most wonderful. One 
 day we had eight cobras and three other snakes all dancing round 
 us at once, and the snake-men singing and playing to them on a 
 kind of bagpipes. The venomous snakes they call good snakes : 
 one, the Braminee cobra, they said was so good, his bite would 
 kill a man in three hours ; but of course all these had their fangs 
 extracted. I was told that they had their teeth drawn once 
 a-month, but I suppose in fact they have the venom extracted 
 from their teeth. The men bring them in covered baskets. 
 They set the baskets on the ground, and play their bagpipes for 
 a while ; then they blow at the snakes through the baskets ; then 
 play a little more : at last they take off the lid of the basket, and 
 the snake rises up very grand, arching his neck like a swan, and 
 with his hood spread, looking very handsome, but very wicked. 
 
 There is one great convenience in visiting at an Indian house, 
 viz. — every visitor keeps his own establishment of servants, so as 
 to give no trouble to those of the house. The servants provide 
 for themselves in a most curious way. They seem to me to sleep 
 
let. v.] NATIVE SERVANTS. 19 
 
 nowhere, and eat nothing, — that is to say, in our houses, or of 
 our goods. They have mats on the steps, and live upon rice. 
 But they do very little, and every one has his separate work. I 
 have an ayah (or lady's maid), and a tailor (for the ayahs cannot 
 
 work) ; and A has a boy : also two muddles — one to sweep 
 
 my room, and another to bring water. There is one man to lay 
 the cloth, another to bring in dinner, another to light the candles, 
 and others to wait at table. Every horse has a man and a maid 
 to himself — the maid cuts grass for him ; and every dog has a 
 boy. I inquired whether the cat had any servants, but I found 
 that she was allowed to wait upon herself; and, as she seemed 
 the only person in the establishment capable of so doing, I re- 
 spected her accordingly. Besides all these acknowledged and 
 ostensible attendants, each servant has a kind of muddle or double 
 of his own, who does all the work that can be put off upon him 
 without being found out by the master and mistress. Notwith- 
 standing their numbers, they are dreadfully slow. I often tire 
 myself with doing things for myself rather than wait for their 
 dawdling; but Mrs. Staunton laughs at me, and calls me a 
 " griffin," and says I must learn to have patience and save my 
 strength. (N.B. Griffin means a freshman or freshwoman in 
 India.) The real Indian ladies lie on a sofa, and, if they drop 
 their handkerchief, they just lower their voices and say, " Boy ! " 
 in a very gentle tone, and then creeps in, perhaps, some old 
 wizen, skinny brownie, looking like a superannuated thread-paper, 
 who twiddles after them for a little while, and then creeps out 
 again as softly as a black cat, and sits down cross-legged in the 
 verandah till " Mistress please to call again." 
 
 We have had a great many visits from natives to welcome 
 
 A back again, or, as they say, " to see the light of Master's 
 
 countenance, and bless God for the honour ! " One — a gentle- 
 man, in his black way— called at six in the morning: he left his 
 carriage at the gate, and his slippers under a tree ; and then, find- 
 ing we were going out riding, he walked barefoot in the dust by 
 the side of our horses till " our honours" were pleased to dismiss 
 him. Another met us, got out of his carriage, kicked off his 
 shoes, and stood bowing in the dirt while we passed ; then drove 
 on to the house, and waited humbly under the verandah for an 
 hour and a half, till we were pleased to finish our ride. One 
 
 c2 
 
20 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. v. 
 
 paid me a visit alone, and took the opportunity to give me a 
 
 great deal of friendly advice concerning managing A . He 
 
 especially counselled me to persuade him to tell a few lies." He 
 said he had often advised " Master " to do so ; but that he would 
 not mind him, but " perhaps Mistress persuade Master. Master 
 very good — very upright man ; he always good : but Master say 
 all same way that he think. Much better not ! Mistress please 
 tell Master. Anybody say wrong, Master's mind different : that 
 quite right — Master keep his own mind ; his mind always good : 
 but let Master say all same what others say ; that much better, 
 and they give him fine appointment, and plenty much rupees ! " 
 I said that that was not English fashion, but my visitor assured 
 me that there were " plenty many " Englishmen who told as 
 many lies as the natives, and were all rich in consequence : so 
 then I could only say it was very wrong, and not Master's 
 fashion nor mine ; to which he agreed, but thought it " plenty 
 great pity ! " 
 
 These natives are a cringing set, and behave to us English as 
 if they were the dirt under our feet ; and indeed we give them 
 reason to suppose we consider them as such. Their servility is 
 disagreeable, but the rudeness and contempt with which the 
 English treat them are quite painful to witness. Civility to 
 servants especially seems a complete characteristic of griffinage. 
 One day I said to my ayah (a very elegant lady in white muslin), 
 " Ayah, bring me a glass of toast-and-water, if you please." She 
 crept to the door, and then came back again, looking extremely 
 perplexed, and whined out, " What Mistress tell ? I don't know." 
 " I told you to bring me some toast-and-water." " Toast-water 
 I know very well, but mistress tell if you please ; I don't know 
 if you please." I believe the phrase had never before been ad- 
 dressed to her. Everything seems to be done by means of con- 
 stantly finding fault : if one lets the people suppose they have 
 given a moment's satisfaction, they begin to reason, " Master tell 
 very good ; try a little more than worse ; perhaps Master like 
 plenty as well." One day I gave some embroidery to be done 
 by a Moorman recommended by my tailor : the Moorman did 
 not bring his work home in time ; I asked Mrs. Staunton what 
 was to be done. " Oh," she said, " of course stop the tailor's 
 pay.** " But it is no fault of the poor tailor's." " Oh, never 
 
 
NATIVE SERVANTS. 
 
 21 
 
 mind that : he is the Moorman's particular friend, and he will 
 go and beat him every day till he brings the work home." 
 
 They are like babies in their ways : fancy my great fat ayah, 
 forty years old, amusing herself with puffing the wind in and out 
 of my air-cushion till she has broken the screw ! The jargon 
 that the English speak to the natives is most absurd. I call it 
 " John Company's English," which rather affronts Mrs. Staunton. 
 It seems so silly and childish, that I really cannot yet bring my- 
 self to make use of it ; but I fancy I must in time, for the King's 
 English is another characteristic of griffinage, and the servants 
 seem unable to understand the commonest direction till it is 
 translated into gibberish. 
 
 ****** 
 
 My letter is called for, as a ship sails this evening ; so I must 
 say Good-bye, 
 
22 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. vi. 
 
 LETTER THE SIXTH. 
 
 January 11th, 1837. 
 Bishop Corrie called on us the other day, to my great delight, 
 for I had so long revered his character, that it was a very great 
 pleasure to me to see and make acquaintance with him. He is 
 a most noble-looking old man, with a very fine countenance, and 
 a gentle, benevolent manner — a pattern for a bishop in appear- 
 ance as well as everything else. On Sunday morning we went 
 to the cathedral, but the good bishop did not preach, and we had 
 but an indifferent sermon, on Virtue and Vice. In the evening 
 we went to a chapel in Black Town, some miles from the place 
 where we live, and so crowded that we were obliged to be there 
 three-quarters of an hour before the time, in order to secure seats ; 
 but we were well repaid for our labour and trouble. We heard 
 a most delightful preacher : his sermon was clear, and strik- 
 ing. He is said to be doing an immense deal of good here. 
 His chapel was originally intended for half-castes, but he is so 
 popular that the Europeans will go there too. People complain, 
 and perhaps justly, that those for whom the chapel was built are 
 kept out in consequence ; but I do not see why the English 
 should not have a good sermon once on a Sunday, as well as the 
 blackies. 
 
 We went yesterday to the examination of a native school of 
 Caste boys — not Christians, but they learn to read the Bible for 
 the sake of the education they receive in other respects. They 
 looked very intelligent, and very picturesque in their turbans and 
 jewels. They answered extremely well, in English, questions 
 on Scripture, on geography, and history, and wrote English from 
 dictation. However, they gave one or two queer, heathenish 
 answers, such as : Query. " What is meant by God's resting 
 from his work on the seventh day ? Did God require rest ? " 
 Answer. " In the night time he did." This school was esta- 
 
SCHOOLS. 23 
 
 blished by some English gentlemen for the more respectable 
 classes of natives. Most of the English schools admit Caste boys 
 and Pariahs without any distinction, which is really almost like 
 expecting young gentlemen and chimney-sweepers to learn to- 
 gether in England. The real Madras schools, which taught 
 Dr. Bell his system, are native hedge-schools, held under a shed. 
 The industry of the poor little scholars is wonderful : from six 
 in the morning till eight at night (with the exception of a short 
 time in the middle of the day to go to sleep and eat rice) they 
 are hard at work, bawling their hearts out : our infant-school 
 noise is nothing to theirs. It is very curious — such a lazy, inert 
 race as the Hindoos are — what pains and trouble they will take 
 for a little learning ; and little enough they get (poor things!) 
 with all their labour. 
 
 A Moonshee seems to be a component part of most English 
 establishments, so I have set up one also. He comes three times 
 a- week to teach me Tamul. He is a very solemn sort of person, 
 with long mustachios, and numbers of beautiful shawls which 
 he twists round his waist till they stand out half a yard in front 
 of him, and come into the room before his face appears. When 
 we hired him he made many salams, and said he preferred our 
 friendship to any remuneration we could give ; but he conde- 
 scends to accept five pagodas a month besides. He comes when 
 I choose, and goes away when I bid him. If I am not ready, he 
 sits on his heels in the verandah for a couple of hours doing 
 nothing, till I call him. If I am tired in the course of my 
 lesson, I walk away, and bid him write a little ; and there he sits, 
 scribbling very slowly, and very intently, till I please to come 
 back again. He is President of a Hindoo Literary Society, and 
 at its first opening delivered a lecture in English, of which he is 
 very proud. He brought it to me to-day to read. The whole 
 was capital ; and it concluded with a hope " that this respectable 
 institution, so happily begun in smoke, might end in blaze ! " 
 This Tamul that he is to teach me is a fearfully ugly language — 
 clattering, twittering, chirping, sputtering — like a whole poultry- 
 yard let loose upon one, and not a singing-bird, not a melodious 
 sound among them. I suspect I shall soon grow tired of it, but 
 meanwhile it is a little amusement. I read stories to Moonshee, 
 and then he writes down the roots of the words for me to learn 
 
24 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. vi. 
 
 by heart. One day I was reading about a " hero who ate kicks ;" 
 but Moonshee looked a little coy, and said he would not write 
 down " kicks," because that was a word that would be of no use 
 to me. A Tamul-writer came to-day to copy some document 
 on cadjan-leaf for Mr. Staunton. He held the leaf in one hand, 
 and a sharp steel-pointed style for a pen in the other. He had 
 the nail of his little finger as long as a bird's claw, which I 
 thought was for untidiness, but I find it is for ornament. He 
 wrote very fast, and seemed quite at his ease, though sitting on 
 his heels, and writing on his hand in this inconvenient manner. 
 
 We have been to one or two large dinner-parties, rather grand, 
 dull, and silent. The company are generally tired out with the 
 heat and the office-work all day before they assemble at seven 
 o'clock, and the houses are greatly infested by musquitos, 
 which are in themselves enough to lower one's spirits and stop 
 conversation. People talk a little in a very low voice to those 
 next to them, but one scarcely ever hears any topic of general 
 interest started except steam navigation. To be sure, " few 
 changes can be rung on few bells ;" but these good folks do ring 
 on " the changes in the service," till I cannot help sometimes 
 wishing all their appointments were permanent. At an Indian 
 dinner all the guests bring their own servants to wait upon them, 
 so there is a turbaned sultan-like creature behind every chair. A 
 great fan is going over our heads the whole time, and every 
 window and door open ; so that, notwithstanding the number of 
 people in the room, it is in reality cooler than an English dining- 
 room. What would grandmamma say to the wastefulness of an 
 Indian dinner? Everybody dines at luncheon, or, as it is here 
 called, tiffin-time, so that there is next to nothing eaten, but 
 about four times as much food put upon the table as would serve 
 for an English party. Geese and turkeys and joints of mutton 
 for side-dishes, and everything else in proportion. All the fruit 
 in India is not worth one visit to your strawberry -beds. The 
 ingenious French at Pondicherry have contrived to cultivate 
 vines ; but the English say nothing will grow, and they remain 
 content to waste their substance and their stomach-aches on 
 spongy shaddocks and sour oranges, unless they send to Pondi- 
 cherry for grapes, which the French are so obliging as to sell at 
 a rupee a bunch. After dinner the company all sit round in the 
 
let. vi.] NATIVE EPISTLES. 25 
 
 middle of the great gallery-like rooms, talk in whispers, and 
 scratch their musquito-bites. Sometimes there is a little music, 
 as languid as everything else. Concerning the company them- 
 selves, the ladies are all young and wizen, and the gentlemen are 
 all old and wizen. Somebody says France is the paradise of 
 married women, and England of girls : I am sure India is the 
 paradise of middle-aged gentlemen. While they are young, they 
 are thought nothing of — just supposed to be making or marring 
 their fortunes, as the case may be ; but at about forty, when they 
 are " high in the service," rather yellow, and somewhat grey, 
 they begin to be taken notice of, and called " young men." 
 These respectable persons do all the flirtation too in a solemn 
 sort of way, while the young ones sit by, looking on, and listen- 
 ing to the elderly gentlefolks discussing their livers instead of 
 their hearts. 
 
 Every creature seems eaten up with laziness. Even my horse 
 pretends he is too fine to switch off his own flies with his own 
 long tail, but turns his head round to order the horse-keeper to 
 wipe them off for him. Some old Anglo-Indians think them- 
 selves too grand to walk in their gardens without servants behind 
 them ; and one may really see them, skinny and straw-coloured, 
 and withered like old stubble, creeping along their gravel walks, 
 with a couple of beautiful barefooted peons, with handsome 
 turbans, strutting behind them, and looking like bronze casts of 
 the Apollo in attendance upon Frank's caricatures of our old 
 dancing-master. 
 
 Few things amuse me more than the letters we daily receive 
 
 from natives, underlings in office, who knew A before he 
 
 went to England. One apologises for troubling him with 
 " looking at the handwriting of such a remote individual," but 
 begs leave humbly to congratulate him on the safe arrival in 
 India of himself and " his respectable family," meaning me ! 
 Another hopes soon to have the honour of throwing himself " at 
 your goodness's philanthropic feet." Is not this the true Fudge 
 style ? 
 
 " The place -where our Louis Dixhuit 
 
 Set the first of his own dear legitimate feet." 
 
26 LETTER FROM MADRAS. [let. vii. 
 
 LETTER THE SEVENTH. 
 
 January 31st. 
 
 The other day a very rich native, an old protege of A 's, 
 
 came to say that he and his son wished to make a feast for me, 
 if I would come to their house. I was extremely glad, for I 
 was longing to get into one of their native houses ; so last night 
 we all went to him by appointment — Mr. and Mrs. Staunton, 
 
 A , and I. It was a most curious entertainment ; but I was 
 
 surprised to find that the Stauntons, who have been so long in 
 the country, had never seen anything of the kind before. It is 
 wonderful how little interested most of the English ladies seem 
 by all the strange habits and ways of the natives ; and it is not 
 merely that they have grown used to it all, but that, by their 
 own accounts, they never cared more about what goes on around 
 them than they do now. I can only suppose they have forgotten 
 their first impressions. But this makes me wish to try and see 
 everything that I can while the bloom of my Orientalism is fresh 
 upon me, and before this apathy and listlessness have laid hold 
 on me, as no doubt they will. 
 
 I asked one lady what she had seen of the country and the 
 natives since she had been in India. " Oh, nothing ! " said she : 
 " thank goodness, I know nothing at all about them, nor I don't 
 wish to : really I think the less one sees and knows of them the 
 better ! " 
 
 Armogum and Sooboo, our two entertainers, met us at their 
 garden-gate, with numbers of lanterns, and rows of natives, some 
 of them friends and some servants, all the way up to the house. 
 The whole house was lighted up like a show, with chandeliers, 
 lamps, and lustres in every possible corner, and hung from the 
 ceiling and festooned to the walls besides : it looked very bright 
 and pretty. The house consisted of one very large verandah, in 
 which stood the native company ; that opened into a large draw- 
 
let. vii.] NATIVE ENTERTAINMENT. 27 
 
 ing-room, with a smaller room at each end, and sleeping-rooms 
 beyond ; and on the other side of the drawing-room another 
 verandah leading into another garden. The house was furnished 
 very much like a French lodging-house, only with more 
 comfortable ottomans and sofas ; but the general effect was 
 very French : quantities of French nicknacks set out upon 
 different tables, and the walls quite covered with looking- 
 glasses. 
 
 We were led into the great drawing-room, and placed upon 
 sofas, and servants stationed at our side to fan us : then Arma- 
 gum and Sooboo brought us each a nosegay of roses, and poured 
 rose-water over them and over our hands ; and they gave me a 
 queer kind of sprig made of rice and beads, like a twelfth-cake 
 ornament : then they gave us each a garland of scented flowers, 
 so powerful that even now, at the end of the next day, I cannot 
 get rid of the perfume on my hands and arms. Then the enter- 
 tainment began : they had procured the musicians, dancers, and 
 cooks belonging to the Nabob, in order that I might see all the 
 Mussulman amusements, as well as those of the Hindoos. First, 
 then, came in an old man with a long white beard, to play and 
 sing to the vina, an instrument like a large mandoline, very 
 pretty and antique to look at, but not much to hear. His music 
 was miserable, just a mixture of twang and whine, and quite 
 monotonous, without even a pretence to a tune. When we were 
 quite tired of him, he was dismissed, and the Nabob's dancing- 
 girls came in : most graceful creatures, walking, or rather sail- 
 ing about, like queens, with long muslin robes from their throats 
 to their feet. They were covered with gold and jewels, earrings, 
 nose-rings, bracelets, armlets, anklets, bands round their heads, 
 se'vignes, and rings on all their fingers and all their toes. Their 
 dancing consisted of sailing about, waving their hands, turning 
 slowly round and round, and bending from side to side : there 
 were neither steps nor figure, as far as I could make out. The 
 prettiest of their performances was their beautiful swan-like 
 march. Then they sang, bawling like bad street-singers — a 
 most fearful noise, and no tune. Then we had a concert of 
 orchestra music, with different-looking instruments, but in tone 
 like every modification of bagpipes— every variety of drone and 
 squeak : you can form no idea of such sounds under the name of 
 
28 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. vii. 
 
 music : the chimney-sweepers' clatter on May-day would be 
 harmonious in comparison. Imagine a succession of unresolved 
 discords, selected at random, and played on twenty or thirty 
 loud instruments, all out of tune in themselves and with each 
 other, and you will have a fair idea of Hindoo music and its 
 effect on the nerves. 
 
 When my teeth had been set on edge till I could really bear 
 
 it no longer, I was obliged to beg A to give the musicians 
 
 a hint to stop. Then there came in a man to imitate the notes 
 of various birds : this sounded promising, but unfortunately the 
 Madras birds are screaming, and not singing, birds ; and my 
 ears were assailed by screech-owls, crows, parrots, peacocks, &c, 
 so well imitated that I was again obliged to beg relief from such 
 torture. Then we had a Hindoo dancing-girl, with the most 
 magnificent jewellery I ever saw: her dancing was very much 
 like that of the Mahometans, only a little more difficult. There 
 was a good deal of running backwards and forwards upon her 
 heels, and shaking her silver bangles or armlets, which jingled 
 like bells : then glissading up to me, waving her pretty little 
 hands, and making a number of graceful, unmeaning antics, 
 with her eyes fixed on mine in a strange unnatural stare, like 
 animal magnetism. I think those magnetic actings and starings 
 must first have been imitated from some Indian dancing-girl, 
 and in fact the effect is much the same ; for I defy any one to 
 have watched this girl's dull, unvarying dance long, without 
 going to sleep. The natives I believe can sit quite contented 
 for hours without any more enlivening amusement ; but then 
 they are always half asleep by nature, and like to be quite asleep 
 by choice at any opportunity. 
 
 After her performance was ended we had a conjuror, some of 
 whose tricks were quite marvellous. He had on a turban and 
 cummerbund (or piece of muslin wrapped round him), but no 
 jacket, so that one could not imagine a possibility of his con- 
 cealing any of his apparatus about him ; but, among other 
 tricks, he took a small twig of a tree, ran his fingers down it to 
 strip the leaves off — small leaves, like those of a sensitive-plant 
 — and showered down among us, with the leaves, five or six 
 great live scorpions ; not little things like Italian scorpions, but 
 formidable animals, almost as long as my hand : I did not ad- 
 
let. vii.] A HINDOO SUPPER. 29 
 
 mire their company, creeping about the room, so he crumpled 
 them up in his hand, and they disappeared ; then he waved his 
 bare arms in the air, and threw a live cobra into the midst of 
 us. Most of his other tricks were juggling with cups and balls, 
 &c, like any English conjuror; but the scorpions and cobra 
 were quite beyond my comprehension. 
 
 Our gentlemen were surprised at seeing the string which is 
 always worn by Brahmins round this man's neck, and said that 
 twenty years ago no Brahmin could possibly have so degraded 
 himself as to show off before us as a common juggler. After he 
 was dismissed we had another gold and silver girl, to dance upon 
 sharp swords, to music as sharp ; then a fire-eater ; and last of 
 all a great supper laid out in the back verandah. The first 
 course consisted of all the nabob's favourite dishes of meat, and 
 curries and pillaws set out in China plates ; the second course, 
 all Hindoo cookery, set out in cups and saucers. A whis- 
 pered to me that I must eat as much as I could, to please poor 
 old Armagum ; so I did my best, till I was almost choked with 
 cayenne-pepper. The Moorman pillaws were very good ; but 
 among the Hindoo messes I at last came to something so queer, 
 slimy, and oily, that I was obliged to stop. 
 
 After supper Armagum made me a speech, to inform me that 
 he was aware that the Hindoos did not know how to treat ladies : 
 that he had therefore been that morning to consult an English 
 friend of his, Mr. Tracey, concerning the proper mode of show- 
 ing me the respect that was my due ; and that Mr. Tracey had 
 informed him that English ladies were accustomed to exactly the 
 same respect as if they were gentlemen, and that he had better 
 behave to me accordingly. He begged I would consider that, if 
 there had been any deficiency, it was owing to ignorance, and 
 not to want of affection ; for that he looked upon me as his 
 mother ! Then he perfumed us all with attar of roses, and we 
 came away after thanking him very cordially for his hospitality 
 and all the amusement he had given us. I was very curious to 
 see the ladies of the family, but they could not appear before 
 English gentlemen. I peeped about in hopes of catching a 
 glimpse of them, and I did descry some black eyes and white 
 dresses through one of the half-open doors, but I could not see 
 them distinctly. 
 
30 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. viii. 
 
 LETTER THE EIGHTH. 
 
 1 Madras, February 9th. 
 
 We have just received all your letters, which were more welcome 
 than ever letters were before. In England, with your daily 
 post, you little know the eagerness with which we poor Indians 
 look out for our monthly despatch, nor the delight with which 
 we receive it. For some days before the mail is expected all 
 Madras is in a fever, speculating, calculating, hoping, almost 
 praying, that it may arrive a few days, or even a few hours, be- 
 fore the usual time ; and when it is known to be " in," the news 
 travels like wildfire in all directions ; peons are despatched from 
 every compound to wait at the post-office and bring the letters 
 the instant they are given out, in order to gain an hour upon the 
 general postmen ; all other interests and occupations are for- 
 gotten ; and many people will receive no visits, if there should 
 chance to be any unfortunate beings so letterless as to be able to 
 
 pay them. 
 
 ****** 
 
 You ask what kind of scenery we have round Madras. Flat 
 plains of sandy ground, covered with a little harsh dry grass ; 
 half-cultivated gardens with high hedges ; and large dilapidated- 
 looking houses. Here and there we see very curious and pic- 
 turesque native buildings, chiefly pagodas ; but in general there 
 is very little beauty either of architecture or scenery. Indian 
 colouring is not for a moment to be compared with Italian for 
 lightness, softness, or brilliancy. The sunsets are sometimes 
 exceedingly beautiful, but in general I think the colouring is 
 rather heavy and glaring. However, Madras is not considered 
 a good specimen ; people tell me that when I go up the country 
 I shall be " surprised and delighted." The number of open 
 fields and gardens must be healthy, but there is never any fresh 
 feeling in the air : it is all as dead and close as the air of a 
 street. The flowers have no perfume, except the pagoda- flowers, 
 
let. vin.] RELIGION. 31 
 
 and those are sickly, like withered jessamine ; and at every turn 
 in the road one meets with the smell of native cookery, fried 
 cocoa-nut oil, and nasty messes of the same kind. 
 
 Moonshee has just sent me a plate of cakes, with a letter to 
 say that he feels convinced I will not disdain the offer on account 
 of its futility, but accept it as a token of the filial affection with 
 which he regards my benignity ; hoping I will foster him with 
 the milk of my kindness, and regard him as my own son ! This 
 is really word for word his composition. 
 
 This morning I had a visit from Armagum and Sooboo to ask 
 
 leave to borrow Mrs. C 's beautiful Landscape Annual, 
 
 which they had peeped into and admired as it lay on the draw- 
 ing-room table. They promised to " make cover up, and plenty 
 take care, if Mistress would lend," which of course Mistress was 
 very happy to do. Armagum said that all the books about 
 England were so long and big that it frightened anybody to look 
 at them, and yet he wanted very much to know something about 
 what Europe was like ; and that this " little book, with very 
 good yellow cover, plenty pictures, and very little read," was 
 
 exactly what he wanted. So pray tell Mrs. C that it is 
 
 probably at this moment making grand show, with a party of 
 natives solemnly looking over and wondering at it. They won- 
 der at everything European, particularly children's toys. They 
 admire our dolls so much, that they are almost ready to make 
 Swamies* of them. At home we talk of ignorance and heathen- 
 ism, but we have no idea of what the ignorance of heathenism 
 really is. They think it a most marvellous piece of learning for 
 a boy to be able to find Europe on a map of the world, and they 
 are almost as ignorant of the history of their own country as of 
 ours. They think they already know everything that is at all 
 deep or dry and requires study. 
 
 A Mr. N has established a sort of conversazione once 
 
 a-week at his own house, for the better class of natives to meet 
 and discuss subjects of general interest and information, in hopes 
 of leading them to think of something a little beyond their 
 monthly salaries and diamond earrings. One of our visitors had 
 been there last night, so we asked him how he liked it, and what 
 was the subject of conversation. It was some branch of political 
 * Inferior gods. 
 
32 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. viii. 
 
 economy connected with Indian government and taxation ; but 
 as to how he liked it, he said, " What use hear all that? I know 
 everything master make talk. Now and then I look, just see 
 other people there too, and then I make slumber ! " And that 
 is ju^t the way with them in everything but money-getting ; they 
 seem awake and alive to nothing else. This man is a sort of 
 half-heathen, half-deist, like most of those who have associated 
 much with Europeans ; but he declares that his religion is just 
 the same as ours, only that there are four grades of religion, 
 suited to different orders of minds — idolatry being the lowest, 
 and proper for the common people, but more educated persons 
 see what the idols are intended to represent, and they progress 
 through all the different grades till they arrive at the highest, 
 when they understand everything, and find all religions alike, 
 and all true, only different ways of representing the same thing. 
 
 A says he has argued with him till he is tired, but that it is 
 
 of no use : he always answers, " Yes, sar ; that all same what I 
 say." 
 
 February \2th. — Everybody in Madras has been in real sor- 
 row of late for the death of Bishop Corrie. They say he was 
 the most useful person in all India, and the most beloved. He 
 was thought to have more judgment, experience, and knowledge 
 of the native character, than any one else. Everybody of every 
 class looked up to his wisdom and firmness : yet he was so gentle, 
 benevolent, and courteous, that it was impossible to know him 
 without becoming really attached to him. I used always to 
 think I had never seen such a pattern of " the meekness of wis- 
 dom." Like most good and active men here, he fell a victim to 
 over-exertion of mind and body. He went on too long at the 
 highest possible stretch, and was suddenly paralysed — carried 
 home insensible from a public meeting at which he was presiding 
 on Tuesday, and was buried on the Sunday following. 
 
 The weather is now fast changing and growing very op- 
 pressive : the thermometer stands at 87°. The other day we 
 had a storm, which lowered it to 82°, and a native wrote us word 
 that he was very sorry he could not keep an appointment with 
 us, because the weather was so cold he was afraid to venture 
 out! 
 
 As you say you like to hear all about our domestic economy, 
 
let. viii.] TRIAL OF A THIEF. 33 
 
 servants, &c, I must tell you of a thievery which took place 
 last week. We lost a pair of sheets, and the loss was laid to the 
 horse-keeper, who was fined two rupees, it being the custom to 
 punish the servants for every misdemeanor just as if they were 
 
 children. But the purloiner of our sheets was in reality A 's 
 
 dress-boy, who had stolen them to make his own jackets. To 
 avoid the expense of paying for making, he took them to a Coolie 
 tailor, which you may understand to mean a cobbling tailor, who 
 sometimes cobbles for us, and is therefore obliged to do the ser- 
 vants' needle-work for nothing, for fear of having lies told of 
 him to " Master," and so losing Master's favour. Coolie tailor 
 lives near my tailor, who is a grandee in comparison ; and 
 Coolie, being very glad to have some good European materials 
 to boast of, and extremely proud of his job, showed them off to 
 my tailor. Grandee tailor was more used to the ways of Eu- 
 ropeans, and knew that they did not give their good sheets for 
 the servants to make jackets of; so he guessed they had been 
 stolen, and told my ayah, and she told me, not out of any pre- 
 tence of conscience or care of my goods, but because, as she said, 
 Mrs. Staunton had told her, on hiring her, that she was to take 
 care of my things, and that, if anything was lost, I would "take 
 away her bread," meaning, dismiss her ; and then she must " eat 
 up her own money." It was hopeless for any of us to attempt 
 to find out the truth, because the chances were even as to the 
 dress-boy's being a thief, or the ayah and tailor liars ; so the 
 only way was to give orders that two of the other servants 
 should search into the matter : one alone would have just told a 
 lie on whichever side suited him, but two were supposed to be 
 a check on each other. Accordingly, there was a regular form 
 of trial held under a mango-tree in the compound :* I watched 
 them from the window, and a capital group they made. The 
 butler, as judge, waving his arms in the air like the leaves of a 
 cocoa-nut tree ; the criminal standing in the midst, looking more 
 mean and crestfallen than any European could manage to look 
 under any possible circumstances ; the ayah, smoothing down 
 her oily hair with her fingers as she told her story; and the rest 
 of the servants standing round to make a kind of jury, assisted 
 by all their retainers of hags and imps in the shape of old wo- 
 * Field, or garden, round the house. 
 
34 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. viii. 
 
 men and naked black children. A verdict of Guilty was brought 
 in, and the thief, Chelapa by name, was of course dismissed from 
 our service. Then followed a variety of queer scenes. Chelapa 
 would not go, but remained on his knees in A 's dressing- 
 room, his turban in his hand, stroking his shaven poll, and 
 kissing the floor, in hopes of being forgiven. When he was sent 
 " out of that," the butler came back with him to bespeak com- 
 passion : " Sar ! Master boy, cry Sar ! " Chelapa took the hint 
 and began to cry accordingly, till, finding nothing would do, he 
 consoled himself by abusing the ayah, telling her he would " walk 
 round the house " every day till he could find out some " rogue 
 business " of her doing : to which, she says, she " made compli- 
 ments ;" but she was in reality so frightened at the threat, that 
 she cried for three days. Then the tailor began to cry, for fear 
 some harm should happen to him in the scuffle, and looked up 
 in my face so piteously every time I went up and down stairs 
 
 that I could not pass him without laughing. A asked the 
 
 horse-keeper why he had submitted to a false accusation, and to 
 be fined for stealing, when he knew he had done no such thing ; 
 he answered, ." What for make trouble? Master tell horse- 
 keeper thief ; what use horse-keeper tell? Horse-keeper make 
 trouble, Master tell ' Go away ! ' " The probability is, that he 
 was paid by the thief to take the blame. See what a set they 
 
 are! 
 
 * * « * * 
 
let. ix.] ENTOMOLOGIZING. 35 
 
 LETTER THE NINTH. 
 
 August 16th. 
 I have been trying to entomologize, as there are abundance of 
 curious insects. Mr. Spence himself told me, before I left home, 
 that the insects of India were very little known ; and that I could 
 not fail to find many new specimens, especially among the smaller 
 Coleoptera. It is impossible to go "a la chasse" oneself, so I 
 employed the beggar-boys, who at first liked the amusement and 
 brought me a great many, but they gradually grew tired of it, 
 and are now too lazy to find me any more at all. I raised my 
 price, but all in vain. These naked imps prefer sitting on the 
 grass all day with nothing to do, crumpled up and looking like 
 tadpoles, and will not give themselves the trouble even to put out 
 their paws to take an insect if he crosses their path. They are 
 indeed a lazy race. The servants lie on their mats, strewing the 
 floor like cats and dogs, and begin to puff and whine whenever 
 one gives them any employment. The truest account of their 
 occupations was given me in her blundering English by my 
 muddle. I said, " Ellen, what are you doing? why don't you 
 come when I call you ? " " No, ma'am." "What are you 
 doing, I say ? " " Ma'am, I never do ; " meaning, " I am doing 
 nothing." However, sometimes they contrive to do mischief. 
 I found my watch stopped : I said, " Ayah, how did you break 
 my watch ? did you knock it ? " — " Ma'am, a little I knock, not 
 too much !" 
 
 We are now living at St. Thome, a sort of suburb of Madras, 
 close by the sea-side, and comparatively cool. We are really now 
 not oppressed by heat ; I could not have supposed such a short 
 distance could have made so much difference : the thermometer 
 is at 84°, which is quite bearable after one has tried 92°. But 
 St. Thome is not thought healthy the whole year through, because 
 the " long-shore winds," as they are called, are more felt here 
 
 d2 
 
36 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. ix. 
 
 than inland. This long-shore wind is very disagreeable — a sort 
 of sham sea-breeze blowing from the south ; whereas the real 
 sea-breeze blows from the east : it is a regular cheat upon the 
 new-comers, feeling damp and fresh as if it were going to cool 
 one, but in reality keeping up a constant cold perspiration, which 
 is more weakening and relaxing than even the heat ; and yet one 
 cannot shut the wind out, for the moment one is out of its influ- 
 ence the heavy dead heat is insupportable. It only blows at 
 particular times of the year, and is now going off. 
 
 This St. Thome is said to be a thievish place : we have two 
 Sepoys to guard the house at night. When we first came we were 
 awakened at intervals by a most horrible yelling and screaming : 
 we thought it must be drunken men, and scolded the Sepoys for 
 not keeping them off, but we found it was the Sepoys themselves, 
 yelling for their own security, to frighten the hobgoblins. 
 Yesterday I saw a slim young black creeping up my back-stairs 
 outside the house, peering about in a sneaking, suspicious sort of 
 a way ; and as soon as he saw me he ran off and hid himself. I 
 thought he might be a thief, so I turned out all the servants to 
 catch him, but he proved to be nothing but the dog-boy looking 
 for shoes to clean. I asked him why he ran away in that foolish 
 fright, if he was only employed in his proper business ; and I was 
 told that he could not help it, for he had never seen the Mistress 
 so close before, and she frightened him. 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Staunton are gone to-day to the wedding of their 
 
 young friend Miss L . She has married a lieutenant in the 
 
 army with nothing but his pay, and I am afraid they will be very- 
 poor. It seems to me that in this country a small income must 
 be wretched indeed, for what would be luxuries in England, such 
 as large airy houses, carriages, plenty of servants, &c. &c, are 
 here necessaries indispensable to the preservation of health, inde- 
 pendently of comfort. The real luxury here, and for which one 
 would gladly pay any price, would be the power of doing without 
 such matters. 
 
 A is busily employed in translating into Tamul a book 
 
 which we hope may be useful. The Moonshee transcribes it 
 for him, and is a complete baby about it. I think he must 
 spend all his time in copying it over and over. One day he 
 brings " to show Mistress a fair copy," and the next day " if 
 
let. ix.] HINDOO TAILOR— EXCESSIVE HEAT. 37 
 
 Mistress please to look, a more fairer copy," and he will stand 
 for a quarter of an hour at a time in the middle of the room, 
 making salaam, and twirling his mustachios, and stroking his 
 
 manuscript. A works with the Moonshee while I scold the 
 
 tailor. I scold him from the " best of motives," and here are my 
 reasons : he is hired by the month, and paid a great deal more 
 than he is worth,— dawdle that he is ! — but it is the only way of 
 getting needlework done at all here. He often asks for a 
 day's leave of absence, and often takes it without asking. I used 
 to be compassionate to him at first, believing his excuses; but 
 when I repeated them to Mrs. Staunton, she said they were all lies. 
 One day he told me that his mother was sick, and that she would 
 soon be dead, and he would " put her out of the way ; " but Mrs. 
 Staunton said that t'his mother had already died three times to 
 her certain knowledge, and that I must forbid her ever being sick 
 again without my permission ; so I gave my orders accordingly, 
 and she has been quite well ever since. Sometimes he sits on his 
 mat crying, and saying he is " plenty sick " himself, so then I 
 send him away for half a day, with orders to come back quite 
 well next morning, or I shall get another tailor ; and this always 
 cures him. One day he asked me for five days' leave " to paint 
 his face :" this did puzzle me, but I found it was on account of 
 the Mohurrum, a kind of Mussulman carnival, when they all 
 dress up, and paint not only their own faces, but those of all their 
 animals. The cows' horns were all painted green and red, and 
 sometimes one horn green and one red ; and I met an elephant 
 with his face painted in crimson and gold half way down his 
 trunk, and his little cunning eyes peering through his finery, such 
 an object that his own mother could not have known him ; but 
 he evidently thought himself dressed in a wonderfully becoming 
 costume, and was floundering along, shaking his ears and waving 
 his trunk, and never dreaming what a figure they had made of 
 him. 
 
 June 1st. — To-day we have the first specimen I have felt of 
 real Indian heat ; hitherto it has been an unusually cool season, 
 but to-day there is a regular land-wind, and plenty of it. I can 
 only compare it to a blast from a furnace, withering one as it 
 passes by. I have a tatt, or thick mat, at my window, which 
 excludes the sun, and men sit outside pouring water on it all day. 
 
38 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [lft. ix. 
 
 so that the wind, which is extremely violent, blows always cooled 
 through the water. This keeps the temperature of the room 
 down at 90°, but it is dreadfully feverish, and far more distress- 
 ing than a higher degree of the thermometer with the sea- 
 breeze. 
 
 Just close under the tatt it is more tolerable, but the old 
 Indians have a notion that it is unwholesome to sit in the damp : 
 so it may be for them, but nothing will make me believe that I, 
 just fresh from Europe, can catch cold with the thermometer at 
 90° : so I creep as close to the tatt as possible, and sit with my 
 hands in a basin of water besides. This is a heat quite different 
 from anything you ever felt in Europe, making one quite giddy ; 
 but they say it is only as bad as this for about ten days, after 
 which the sea-breeze rises regularly at eleven or twelve o'clock, 
 and restores one to life again. Now, the leaves of the trees are 
 all curled up, and the grass crackles under our feet like snow, 
 the sea is a dead yellow colour, and the air and light a sort of 
 buff, as if the elements had the jaundice ; and we are all so cross ! 
 creeping about and whining, and then lying down and growling 
 — I hope it will not last long. 
 
 June 6th. — Weather better: the sea-breeze comes in the 
 middle of the day, and one can breathe without crying ; but the 
 nights are hotter than the days. One contrives to sleep as well 
 as one can, but Indian sleep is very unlike English — poor rest- 
 less work ! However, the musquitoes are not so bad here as in 
 Italy : witness my sleeping without a musquito-net, rather than 
 bear the additional heat of the gauze. 
 
let. x.] PREPARATIONS FOR A JOURNEY. 39 
 
 LETTER THE TENTH. 
 
 Madras, July 10th. 
 At last I am able to resume my journal to you, and I hope to 
 continue it regularly. A wrote to you constantly and cir- 
 cumstantially during my confinement, but till now I have not 
 been able to sit up and write myself. How I long to show 
 baby to you ! She is a very fine creature, and as strong and 
 healthy as if she had been born in Old England. She will be 
 christened next week, and then, as soon as we are strong enough 
 to travel, we are to set out on a long journey. A has ob- 
 tained the appointment of Zillah (or District) Judge of Rajah - 
 mundry, which makes us all very happy. He has never been in 
 that part of the country before, and we are very busy, making 
 all possible inquiries and preparations. Rajahmundry is in the 
 Northern Circars (or Districts), and every one who has been there 
 tells us that it is a pretty place, and has the grand recom- 
 mendation of two months of really cool weather. They say the 
 thermometer falls to 58°, and we are advised to take warm 
 clothing with us. It is also a cheap place. There is very 
 little European society, but that is a much less privation here 
 than at home ; for in this climate it is almost more trouble than 
 pleasure to keep up the necessary civilities, and there will be 
 plenty of amusement in seeing the really Indian part of India, 
 which Rajahmundry will be. 
 
 We must take with us stores of everything that we are likely 
 to want for six months, — furniture, clothes, and even great part 
 of our food — for nothing is to be procured there, except meat, 
 bread, and vegetables ; and even our vegetables we must grow 
 ourselves, and take the seeds with us from Madras. Anything 
 we forget we must wait for till we can send to Madras. We 
 have not yet decided whether to go by land or by sea, but I am 
 afraid it will be wisest to go by sea, though I should much like 
 
40 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. x. 
 
 to see the country ; but a long land-journey at this time of the 
 year would be very fatiguing, and perhaps dangerous, on account 
 of the cholera, which is now very prevalent. At Rajahmundry 
 they speak Gentoo, or Teloogoo, which is a much prettier 
 language than Tamul. There is no Chaplain, nor even a Mis- 
 sionary, I am sorry to say ; but that is the case at eight stations 
 out of ten, and one cannot choose one's station. 
 
 Rajahmundry, August 6th. — I was prevented from finishing 
 this letter at Madras, by take-leave visits, &c, so that I had not 
 a moment to myself; but it was just as well, for now I can tell 
 you of our safe arrival here. We embarked on Saturday night, 
 July 29th, ourselves, baby, and servants, with almost a shipload 
 of goods, on board a small Liverpool vessel which happened to 
 be in the roads, on its way to Calcutta. We had a beautiful even- 
 ing, and no surf. We found the Captain in a fume at our being 
 rather later than he expected ; but it did not really signify, for, 
 after all his fretting, he could not get his anchor up, owing to 
 his having bad tackle, so there we were detained at anchor till 
 one o'clock on Sunday afternoon. It was a pretty specimen of 
 sea comfort ; — ship rolling, captain growling ; sailors singing, or 
 rather bawling, some chorus about being " Off in a hurry ; fare 
 ye well, for she must go ! " while they were dragging up the 
 anchor ; tackle breaking, and chain cable all flying to the bottom 
 of the sea, as soon as ever the song was done ; things in our cabin 
 not " cleated down," but all " fetching way " with every roll of 
 the ship, shuffling about, and taking their pleasure, like the 
 dancing furniture in Washington Irving's dream ; ayahs squatted 
 
 on the floor, half-sick ; baby squalling ; A turning round 
 
 and round in the little cabin, like a tiger in his den, dancing 
 her to keep her quiet, but quiet she would not be ; I, ready to 
 cry with sickness and despair, crouched up in a corner unable to 
 move, — and all for nothing, during eighteen hours ! 
 
 At last we were off. We had a pretty good voyage on the 
 whole, but one violent storm on Sunday night; the thunder 
 ringing like a gong, and the air all around us white with light- 
 ning. In the midst of it all, some Italian Capuchins who were 
 on board amused themselves with singing to their guitar. While 
 the sea and wind together were roaring their loudest, twang, 
 twang went that wretched guitar ! The mixture was so absurd 
 
let. x.] ARRIVE AT VIZAGAPATAM. 41 
 
 that I eould not help laughing, in the midst of all my sickness 
 and fright. 
 
 On Tuesday morning our stupid Captain passed by Coringa, 
 which was the port for which we were bound, and, when he took 
 his observation at twelve o'clock, found himself half way to Viza- 
 gapatam. It was extremely inconvenient. All our letters of 
 introduction were for the Coringa people, and the land-journey 
 from Vizagapatam to Eajahmundry three times as long as from 
 Coringa. The other passengers were very good-natured and 
 obliging, said the delay was of no consequence to them, and 
 begged us to go back to Coringa, if we liked. Accordingly, we 
 did have the ship put about, but there was a strong wind right in 
 our teeth ; we were likely to be five or six days putting back ; 
 and the pitching and tossing such, that every minute of it settled 
 our minds as it unsettled our stomachs : so we determined to go 
 on to Vizagapatam, where we arrived on Tuesday night. 
 
 Before we landed, a catamaran brought us off a note from Mr. 
 R., the Assistant Judge of the station, inviting us to his house. 
 He has a little bungalow on the top of a rock, surrounded by 
 bushes among which the hyaenas walk about at their pleasure ; 
 but they never attack human beings, and the place is delightfully 
 cool. Mr. R. received us most hospitably, supplied us with 
 everything we wanted for our journey, and treated us just as if 
 we had been old and intimate friends, though we had never seen 
 nor heard of each other before. We spent Wednesday with him, 
 and began our journey on Wednesday night, regular Indian 
 
 fashion, in palanquins — A , baby, I, and the ayahs; leaving 
 
 the other servants to follow at leisure, with the luggage, in carts. 
 We had fifty-two men to carry us, our provisions, clothes, plates, 
 knives and forks, &c, for all the accommodations prepared for 
 travellers are public bungalows, containing one table and six 
 chairs, — and sometimes not those, only bare walls for shelter. 
 An old Sepoy lives at each bungalow, to fetch water, and cook 
 curry and rice ; so one can get on comfortably enough. 
 
 It is all pleasant to me : baby has borne the journey quite well, 
 and I enjoyed it very much. We travelled sometimes all night, 
 sometimes part of the night, according to my strength, and rested 
 at the bungalows during the day, and arrived here on Saturday 
 night. We passed through a great deal of pretty country, and 
 
42 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. x. 
 
 some notorious tiger-jungles ; but we saw no tigers — they are 
 always afraid of the lights and noise of travellers. (N.B. A 
 jungle is a tract of uncultivated ground, covered with thick 
 brushwood, and trees here and there, and inhabited by tigers, 
 hyaenas, leopards — or cheetahs as they are called — monkeys, wild 
 hogs, snakes, and quantities of beautiful birds.) Rajahmundry 
 itself is a most lovely spot, on the banks of a magnificent river, 
 the Godavery, with tine hills in the distance. 
 
 We have a good house, a capital garden, and are most uncom- 
 monly great grandees. I am very much amused with all the 
 natives who come to pay their respects to the " Judge Doory." 
 (Doory means gentleman.) My favourite, hitherto, is the 
 Moofti, or principal Mahometan law expounder. He is one of 
 the handsomest and most elegant creatures I ever saw, — some- 
 what dirty perhaps, — with beautiful Cashmere shawls worn 
 threadbare, and in his shabby magnificence looking like a beg- 
 garly king. Then there is the Pundit, or principal Hindoo law 
 expounder — a Bramin, very much of a mountebank, and some- 
 thing of a cheat, I should guess, by his face and manner. There 
 are plenty of underlings, but these are the two principal men. 
 They always come accompanied by their Vakeels, a kind of secre- 
 taries, or interpreters, or flappers — their muddles, in short : 
 everybody here has a muddle, high or low. The Vakeels stand 
 behind their masters during all the visit, and discuss with them 
 
 all that A says. Sometimes they tell him some barefaced 
 
 lie, and, when they find he does not believe it, they turn to me 
 grinning, and say, " Ma'am, the Doory plenty cunning gently - 
 man." 
 
 The cholera is raging here, — and no wonder ! a hundred 
 thousand people assembled twenty days ago, for a grand native 
 festival which only takes place once in twelve years. Many of 
 them are too poor to afford to buy proper food, and most of them 
 are dirty ; and the accumulation of dirt and filth, with all the 
 wretchedness and starvation to work upon, has bred a pestilence. 
 When I arrived in the town I was fast asleep in my palanquin, 
 
 and was literally awakened by the horrible stench. A 's 
 
 predecessor was entirely occupied in making a road through the 
 jungle to drive his tandem on, and never thought of taking any 
 measures to lessen the sickness, which has gained ground fear- 
 
let. x.] ' DOMESTIC ARRANGEMENTS. 43 
 
 fully. A has set the prisoners at work immediately to 
 
 clean the streets, and the heavy rains are to be expected soon, 
 which always clear away diseases. There is little fear of cholera 
 among Europeans, except in travelling. It is caused among the 
 poor natives by bad feeding, dirt, and exposure to the climate. 
 We always keep the cholera medicines in the house, in case any 
 of the servants should be attacked ; but that is very unlikely, as 
 they are well fed and sheltered. The poor natives go on beating 
 their tom-toms, or drums, all night, in hopes of driving it away ; 
 and the want of rest weakens them, and makes them still more 
 liable to catch it. 
 
 August \lth. — We get on very comfortably, and are begin- 
 ning to feel a little settled, though still rather in confusion. 
 
 A is excessively busy with his Court work, having to get 
 
 through long arrears of his predecessors. Our furniture is 
 not yet arrived, so we are dependent upon a table and six chairs 
 lent to us for the present : however, a clear house at first arrival 
 was rather a convenience with regard to cleaning the rooms, 
 
 which I have been very busy about, as A is in clearing out 
 
 all the old " cases " accumulated in his Cutcherry. (N.B. 
 Cutcherry means office.) 
 
 I fancy our predecessor was content with the same accommo- 
 dation as the spiders, and thought sweeping unnecessary, so he 
 kept no sweeper-woman, and, as may be supposed, the dirt 
 crunched under our feet as we walked. I have had all the palan- 
 quin-boys, who are the best housemaids here, hard at work, taking 
 away the old mats, hunting for scorpions and centipedes, dis- 
 lodging the dirt-pies, disturbing the spiders, and clearing out 
 every corner, — and now we are growing quite decent. We are 
 planting vegetables, clipping hedges, and arranging all things 
 to our own taste ; and I think we shall soon be so comfortable, 
 that when a better appointment offers, we shall not like to move. 
 
 Some of our arrangements are queer wild work. We have a 
 hunting Peon, or " shoot-man," as he is called, who goes into 
 the jungle every day to catch us half our dinner according to 
 his taste or his luck. He brings hares, wild ducks, pigeons, &c, 
 and yesterday he brought a magnificent peacock. It went to 
 my heart to have such a beautiful creature cooked ; but there 
 was no help for it, and he was dead when he arrived. There are 
 
44 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. x. 
 
 pretty spotted deer and antelopes wild about the country, and 
 I am going to have some caught to keep in the compound : 
 they soon grow quite tame, and come and eat out of one's 
 hand. 
 
 " John Company " allows us nine Peons to look grand with. 
 Their business is to stand about, go on messages, walk after us 
 (which, by the bye, we, cannot endure), do odd jobs, and " help 
 Bill" in various ways. The other day I sent the baby and 
 nurse out for a walk in our garden, not supposing that she re- 
 quired any escort, but a great Peon immediately stepped forward 
 to march after her. She crowed at his dagger and red belt, and 
 
 much approved of his attendance. A has given me two of 
 
 the Peons for my particular service : I have nothing on earth 
 for them to do, so I mean to set them collecting the pebbles found 
 in the river here, which are very beautiful onyxes and agates. 
 When they have got over their surprise, and are a little broken 
 in to the " Dooresany's " (lady's) ways, I mean to set them 
 catching insects ; but I must wait a little first, for fear they 
 should think me mad. 
 
 We have had a travelling gentleman staying with us for the 
 last two days : we never saw him before, but he asked for shelter 
 on his arrival, so, India-fashion, we took him in to do the best 
 we could for him. I am obliged to make him carry a chair 
 about with him like a snail-shell — take it into his room at night, 
 and bring it out again to breakfast the next morning. He is a 
 good-humoured, simple sort of person, but most oddly fearful. 
 He took such alarm at hearing the cholera was in one village at 
 which he slept on his journey, that he lost his appetite, ate nothing 
 for twenty-four hours, and came to us really ill with starva- 
 tion and fright. Then he was exceedingly afraid of robbers on 
 the road, and had a great mind to take a guard of Peons on with 
 him to Vizagapatam, only we laughed him out of it. There 
 was some excuse for his fears, because he was just come from a 
 very wild part of the country, but here we are as quiet and safe 
 as at home. Home always means England ; nobody calls India 
 home — not even those who have been here thirty years or more, 
 and are never likely to return to Europe ; even they still always 
 speak of England as home. 
 
let. xi.] RESIDENTS. 45 
 
 LETTER THE ELEVENTH. 
 
 Rajahmundry, August 14th. 
 Our goods arrived last week. They had all been wetted through 
 in the journey, and very much spoiled, but, by dint of keeping 
 the sun and the palanquin-boys at work upon them, they are 
 coming round again. 
 
 Captain Price, the commanding officer here, has just called. 
 He seems very civil, nothing else particularly. He has a wife, 
 whom I have not seen yet, as they were away till yesterday. 
 The commanding officers are generally changed every three 
 months. There is a Scotch Dr. Stewart, and a Mr. Macdonald, 
 the sub-collector, but he is not here now. There will also be in 
 time a Registrar, or, as they spell it here, " Register," but none 
 is appointed yet. These and ourselves are all the residents ; but 
 there are continually travellers passing through, as this place is 
 on the high road from the north to the south of Madras. I 
 fancy the civilians all expect to come to us on their journey ; 
 and the militaries go to Captain Price : and whichever of us re- 
 ceives the visitor must make a dinner-party. 
 
 Last night I was awakened by a great uproar : I found it was 
 on account of a snake who had crept into the house and hidden 
 himself under a box. The maty had found him out, and the 
 servants were all hunting and fighting him with sticks. He was 
 
 caught and killed. A thought he was not of a venomous 
 
 kind, but they are not pleasant visitors. I often hear the hyae- 
 nas at night howling about the country. They are horrid spite- 
 ful-looking creatures, but so cowardly that they never attack 
 any but weak animals. They do mischief in the poultry-yard, 
 and sometimes carry off a small dog, and, if very hungry, now 
 and then a young donkey ; but one is no more afraid of them 
 than of foxes in England. 
 
 Did you ever hear of the Thugs ? They are a tribe of Hin- 
 
46 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xi. 
 
 doos whose business and trade is murder. They are brought up 
 to it from childhood, choose their victim by omen, consider 
 themselves and their vocation under the especial patronage and 
 direction of one of their goddesses, Kalee, and set about their 
 murdering work in the most cool and business-like manner. 
 You will find a long account of them, and quite true, in Wolff's 
 last volume of his Journal. There is a great sensation about 
 them just now, and we are hunting them out everywhere. One 
 
 has been brought to A for trial to-day, and I am very 
 
 curious to hear about him. 
 
 I left off writing just now for my "tiffin," and could not ima- 
 gine what they were bringing me to eat. Some bran, which I 
 had been boiling to season a new tin kettle, and which the maty 
 supposed to be some particular Europe cookie I was making for 
 myself; and, thinking I was provided for, he has eaten up all 
 my meat ! 
 
 August 15th. — The Thug turned out to be an accuser instead 
 of a criminal. A Peon had caught him, and he pretended that 
 the Peon had offered to release him on his paying a certain sum, 
 and that he had paid it, but the Peon still kept him prisoner. 
 On investigation it turned out to be all a lie from beginning to 
 end ; so the Peon is released and the Thug sent to prison. 
 
 I was hard at work to-day unpacking books, sitting on the 
 ground all over dust, sorting and putting them on the shelves, 
 when Mrs. Price called to pay her first devoirs with all her best 
 clothes on, worked muslin and yellow gloves. I thought the only 
 way to prevent her being ashamed of me was to make her as dirty 
 and dusty as myself; therefore, under pretence that it would be 
 so nice for her to have some new books to read, I made her sit 
 down by me and look them over too, and we got on very well. 
 She is very young, pretty, and unaffected, and I like the thoughts 
 of having her for a neighbour. It is pleasant to have some 
 Englishwoman within reach as a companion. 
 
 August 29th. — Your packet, sent by private opportunity, has 
 just arrived, to my great delight. I had received, a fortnight 
 ago, letters from home of a later date, but private-hand letters 
 are always slow. People never seem to be able to lay their 
 private hands upon them till after they have finished all their 
 unpacking. 
 
let. xi.] EMPLOYMENT OF TIME. 47 
 
 We like our station better and better ; it is far pleasanter than 
 Madras, which was like England in a perspiration : here we have 
 fresh, sweet country air, and no troublesome company, yet 
 always enough to prevent us from feeling lonely. 
 
 I thoroughly enjoy the quiet, and I have plenty to do, more 
 than I can ever get through in the day, so that I am never dull. 
 In fact, one has less time at one's command here than at home, 
 although the very early rising seems to give so many hours. But 
 we are obliged to go out in the early morning ; it is indispensable 
 to lie down for some time in the middle of the day ; we go out 
 again in the cool of the evening, and come home again too tired 
 to employ ourselves much at night. One's time seems to be spent 
 in tiring and resting oneself. 
 
 I have caught a number of most beautiful butterflies : Cole- 
 optera are more scarce, as I cannot grub for them myself, for fear 
 of centipedes. This morning, I took a fancy for gardening 
 myself, and while I was removing some dry leaves a large centi- 
 pede showed his horrid pincers within an inch of my hand. He 
 did not hurt me, but he has cured me of gardening. I have a 
 number of schemes in hand ; one is to make butter : the natives 
 make it with rennet, shaking it in a bottle, and it is rather a 
 nasty mess ; but after a week's hard work and much scolding, 
 the old carpenter has produced a churn : a fine, heavy, awkward 
 concern it is, but the natives admire it greatly, and stand looking 
 at it and calling it " Missis Dub" (meaning Mistress's tub). 
 However, the butter is still waiting for pans to set the milk in, 
 and they had to be made on purpose from description, and have 
 not yet appeared. When I inquired for them this morning, I 
 was told " Potman done fetch mud, chatties done make, but mud 
 not done dry yet." 
 
 The other day I wanted some book-shelves made, and I sent 
 for the carpenter. They told me they thought I should be 
 wanting wood, so he was gone fishing, which seemed rather, as 
 Johnny M. would say, a " non seqititur ; " but it was quite true, 
 for they really do fish for all the wood they use. It is washed 
 down by the river ; and when any is wanted, they just swim out, 
 and catch the first piece that suits them. 
 
 There is an old Englishman living here as barrack-sergeant, — 
 a sinecure for long service. He has been in the place these ten 
 
48 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xi. 
 
 years, and is a very respectable old man. He has a half-caste, drop- 
 sical wife, and a sickly nigger-looking child, but seems quiet and 
 
 contented. A lends him books and the newspaper, and lets 
 
 him come every Monday to change his books, and chat a little, 
 which he likes best of all. He sits and proses for about half an hour, 
 and is very happy at having a little intercourse with Europeans 
 again. He takes particular interest in the young Queen, thinking 
 she has a troublesome life before her. Yesterday he said to me, 
 " Only think, ma'am, of such a young person for to be Queen of 
 the realm ! And in these times too, when the oldest hand could 
 hardly keep them in order. She '11 have a tough job of it, poor 
 young lady ! I pity her from my heart, indeed I do ! This 
 paper says Lord Durham is to be called to her Majesty's coun- 
 sels. I hope his Lordship is a fatherly kind of gentleman, ma'am, 
 who will help her Majesty in some of her difficulties." 
 
 A is very kind in hunting out poor travellers who happen 
 
 to be passing. The rich ones, who want for nothing, come to 
 us as a matter of course, but the poor ones would pitch their tents 
 under a tree during the hot hours, and go away again unnoticed, 
 if he did not go and find them out. The other day he disco- 
 vered seven English soldiers travelling to join their regiment : 
 they were not in want of absolute necessaries, but, on his trying 
 to find out what he could do for them, they told him at last, con- 
 fidentially, that the greatest treat he could possibly give them 
 would be a little tea and sugar to make themselves " a cup of 
 English tea," which was a thing " they had not tasted they did 
 not know when :" of course we sent them plenty, and books and 
 tracts for the tea to wash down. They had a Bible among them, 
 but they said " they set such store by it, they seldom let it see the 
 
 light ; " so we gave them another for use. A is very anxious 
 
 to set up an English school for the natives, if he can persuade 
 Sergeant Keeling to be schoolmaster ; but the Sergeant thinks 
 himself " not scholar enough." We think he is, and he speaks 
 Teloogoo very well. 
 
 To-day a great Zemindar, or Rajah, came to pay us a visit : he 
 is a proprietor of large estates in this district, and pays a rent to 
 the Government often thousand a year, — quite a grandee ; but he 
 has some lawsuit going on at this court, so he said he was come 
 to ask A to "protect a poor little man." He stayed an 
 
let. xi.] A SNAKE-CHARMER. 49 
 
 immense time, and talked a great deal of nonsense, as they all do. 
 It is very striking to see how completely want of education has 
 blasted all their powers of intellect. They talk for hours and 
 hours, without ever by any chance bringing out an original idea 
 or a generous sentiment. Their conversation is never anything 
 but wearisome twaddle. I suppose extremes meet. Do you re- 
 member Mr. J. once telling us that some celebrated person was 
 *'too well informed" — that he had "lost his originality"? 
 These people, from being too ill informed, have never found 
 theirs. 
 
 September I6th.—A day or two ago the Maty bolted into the 
 breakfast-room, exclaiming, " Sar ! one snake, sar ! One big 
 snake in godown ! He very good snake, sar ! " They call the 
 venomous snakes " good " by way of propitiating them : they 
 consider them as a species of evil- disposed gods, and pay them 
 some kind of worship, though they kill them too whenever they 
 can. This brute was a large deadly cobra capello : it had hidden 
 itself behind some bottles in a recess under the steps where the 
 
 water is cooled. A went directly to load his gun, and I 
 
 peeped out, but could not go near enough to see the creature on 
 account of the sun, and I calculate I should not have gone anv 
 nearer if it had been ever so shady. There stood all the palan- 
 quin-boys with bamboos in their hands, ready to beat it if it came 
 out, and all the Peons peeping over their shoulders, array enough 
 
 to attack a tiger. A forbade their killing it in that way, on 
 
 account of the danger of their getting bitten if they missed a 
 blow, and he shot it dead himself, after which they all dragged it 
 out, and beat it to their hearts' content. Two days afterwards we 
 were told of another cobra in a hole of a tree at the bottom of 
 
 the garden ; but while A was preparing his gun, one of the 
 
 snake-conjurers came and charmed it out of its hole, and brought 
 it into the garden to show us : it was quite fresh, its teeth not 
 extracted, and its bite certain death ; but this man had it per- 
 fectly under command : he set it up and made it dance, and, 
 when it tried to strike, he just whisked the tail of his gown in its 
 face, and quieted it again. I offered to buy it, and pay him for 
 killing and bottling it, but I could not persuade him to sell it at 
 any price : he thought its possession would bring him good luck. 
 In answer to my offers, the butler, who was interpreter, told me, 
 
 E 
 
50 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xi. 
 
 " if Missis put snake in bottle of rack, snake dead." " I know 
 that," said I, " I like it dead." " Yes, ma'am, but that man like 
 'live." "What is the use of his keeping it alive? sometime 
 snake bite." " No, ma'am, no can bite ; that man make con- 
 jure." However, to-day the conjurer came to say that he had 
 found another cobra, so he was willing to sell me one if I liked 
 it. Accordingly, he took it with his bare hands out of a brass 
 pan which he brought with him, set it up, made it show its hood 
 and dance a little, and then put it into a bottle of spirits, which 
 soon killed it, and I have it now on my table corked up. It is a 
 magnificent specimen, four feet long, and quite uninjured. 
 
 The snakes have very much confirmed my belief in physi- 
 ognomy. They certainly have a great deal of countenance ; a 
 cunning, cruel, spiteful look that tells at once that they are 
 capable of any mischief; in short, " beaucoup de caracfere," and 
 the more venomous the snake, the worse his expression. The 
 harmless ones look harmless ; I think I should almost know 
 a " too much good snake " by his too much bad countenance. 
 The Cobra is the worst, his eyes are quite hideous ; and that boa 
 constrictor at the Cape was very disgusting : but after all I do 
 not know that there is anything more horrid in the way of physi- 
 ognomy than a shark ; there is a coldblooded, fishy malignity in 
 his eyes that quite makes one shudder. 
 
 September 26th. — There was a hyaena killed to-day about half 
 a mile from the town : it had attacked a poor old Bramin, and 
 wounded him severely, which is very extraordinary, as they 
 almost always run away from men. I have ordered the tail to be 
 kept as a trophy for Frank. Also I have a beautiful leopard's 
 skin for him, to be sent by the first opportunity. 
 
 
let. xii.] EXPENSES— AN AMAH. 51 
 
 LETTER THE TWEL 
 
 Rajahmundry, October 3rd. 
 In your last letter you ask for particulars of living, servants, 
 house-rent, and such-like domestic matters. We have a house 
 unfurnished, and a garden of more than two acres, for which we 
 pay about 60/. per annum. Provisions are cheap, but there is 
 great waste, because nothing will keep on account of the heat, 
 and we are obliged to take much larger quantities of meat than 
 we can consume, in order to make it worth the butcher's while 
 to supply us at all. We send for potatoes from Madras, as they 
 will not grow here ; other vegetables we have from our own 
 garden, and we keep our own poultry. Servants are expensive 
 altogether, though cheap individually; but we are obliged to 
 have such a number of them that their pay mounts up. We 
 keep fewer than many people, because we wish to be economical. 
 Here is our establishment: — one butler, one dress-boy,* one 
 matee,f two ayahs, one amah, J one cook, one tunnicutchy,§ two 
 gardeners, six bearers, one water-carrier, two horse-keepers, two 
 grass-cutters, one dog-boy, one poultry -man, one washerman, 
 one tailor, one hunter, and one amah's cook — altogether twenty- 
 seven : and this is reckoned few ; and it is as much as ever they 
 can do to get through their little work in their lazy dawdling 
 way. If anybody comes to dinner, the cook sits down and cries 
 for a cook's maty or helper, and I am obliged to hire one for 
 him. They all find their own food themselves, and the caste 
 people would not touch any of our food ; but the maties and 
 under-servants are generally Pariahs, and are very glad to eat 
 up anything they can lay their hands on. The amah is a caste 
 woman, and her whims are the plague of my life : I am obliged 
 to keep a cook on purpose for her, because her food must all be 
 
 * Valet. 
 
 t The matee cleans plate, washes china, and lights candles. 
 
 X Wet-nurse. § Housemaid. 
 
 E 2 
 
52 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xii. 
 
 dressed by a person of her own caste ; and even then she will 
 sometimes starve all day rather than eat it, if she fancies anybody 
 else has been near it : she has a house built of cocoa-nut leaves 
 in the compound, on purpose to cook her food in. I am also 
 obliged to keep a separate nurse for her baby, and see after it 
 regularly myself, because they are so careless about their own 
 children when they are nursing other people's, that she and her 
 husband would let the poor little creature die from neglect, and 
 then curse us as the cause of it. 
 
 Think of the amah's being caught drinking rack and eating 
 opium ! She used to go out and howl so that the servants were 
 afraid to come near her, saying she made " one pishashi (devil) 
 noise." When she had cleared the coast with her pishashi-ing, 
 her own people crept out from their hiding-holes, and brought 
 her rack and bang (that is, spirits and opium). 
 
 You ask what shops we have. None at all : the butler buys 
 everything in the bazaar or market, and brings in his bill every 
 day. One of the Court native writers translates it into English, 
 and very queer articles they concoct together ! such as, " one 
 beef of rump for biled ;" — " one mutton of line beef for alamoor 
 estoo" meaning a-la-mode stew; — "mutton for curry pups" 
 (puffs); — "durkey for stups " (stuffing for turkey); — "eggs 
 for saps, snobs, tips, and pups " (chops, snipes, tipsycake, ana 
 puffs) ; — " mediation (medicine) for ducks ;" — and at the end 
 " ghirand totell" (grand total), and " howl balance." 
 
 October 15th. — Of late I have been hindered from letter- 
 writing and everything else by relays of stranger-company — true 
 Indian-fashion. People say this custom of receiving everybody 
 without previous notice, and being received in return, is " so 
 very delightful," " hospitable," &c. &c. ; and so it may be, — but 
 it is also extremely inconvenient and disagreeable. I cannot 
 get over the dislike to intrude myself upon people whom I never 
 saw, and who must receive me whether they like it or not ; 
 neither do I enjoy being put out of my way and obliged to turn 
 the house out of windows for chance travellers whom I never 
 heard of before, and never shall see again. However, sucli is 
 the mode here. One of our visitors, Mrs. S., was a very pleas- 
 ing person, and I should have much liked to see more of her ; 
 but she was on her way to England, and only stayed with us two 
 
let. xii.] RELIGIOUS SERVICE. 53 
 
 days. Two of our visitors are with us still, and will remain till 
 they have found a bungalow to suit them, as they are coming to 
 live here : they are Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton, the new registrar 
 and his wife. 
 
 We have had the English service now for the last month, and 
 mean to continue it regularly ; A officiates, as is the cus- 
 tom when there is no clergyman : all the English residents 
 attend very regularly, and some half-caste Protestants. There 
 !3 a Roman Catholic half-caste dresser, or surgeon's assistant, 
 named Rozer, father to Sergeant Keeling's wife : there is a little 
 Roman Catholic chapel under his care, and he takes a great deal 
 of pains about it, poor soul! keeping it clean, lighting the 
 candles, and putting flowers before the images, though there is no 
 priest living here, nor any one to notice him. When our service 
 was announced, he sent a message to ask if he might be present 
 at it, but when the day arrived he never appeared ; and on 
 making inquiry, we found from the Sergeant that poor Rozer 
 himself was very anxious to attend, but was afraid of a repri- 
 mand from some distant priest who occasionally comes here in 
 the course of his travels. 
 
 October 27th. — I continue to like " up country," as they call 
 it, far better than the Presidency : it is much more amusing. Of 
 course everybody tried to make Madras as English as they could, 
 though without much success, except doing away with everything 
 curious ; but this place is real India, and I am every day seeing 
 something new and foreign. This is the country of the old 
 Rajahs, and they are very sociable and fond of paying us visits. 
 They think it a great incivility to appear without something in 
 their hands as a present. It is contrary to regulation to accept 
 anything of value, so they bring limes, oranges, yams, &c. The 
 other day we received a basket of oranges, with a message that a 
 Rajah whom we had not before seen would come next day and 
 pay us a visit. Accordingly next day, at the appointed hour, 
 we heard a queer kind of twanging and piping, like a whistle 
 and a Jew's-harp. This was the Rajah's music, played before his 
 palanquin : then came his guards, — men with halberds ; then his 
 chief officer, carrying a silver mace ; then his principal courtiers, 
 running by the side of his palanquin to keep him " pleasant com- 
 pany." When they all arrived, the halberdiers grounded their 
 
54 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xii. 
 
 arms, arid the whole cortege stopped at the military word of 
 command, " Halt ! Present I Fire I " but the firing consisted 
 of the old gentleman's getting out of his palanquin, and quietly 
 shuffling into the house, between two rows of his own servants 
 and ours, salaming him at every step. He was dressed in a clear 
 muslin pelisse, with his black skin showing through ; the rims 
 of his ears stuck full of jewels, gold bracelets on his arms, 
 and a diamond locket hung round his neck. I call him " Penny 
 Whistle Row :" if that is not quite his real name, it is so like it, 
 I am sure it must mean that. When he came into the drawing- 
 room, he stopped at the entrance (N.B. we have no doors) to 
 make us most profound salams, which we returned to the best of 
 our ability : then he presented us with an orange each, and there 
 were more salams on either side. At last, when we had all done 
 all our "moppeing and moweing," he sat down and began 
 his chirp. He paid a variety of set compliments, as they all do ; 
 but, those over, he was more curious about European matters 
 than the natives in general are. In particular he wished to 
 know whether it was true that our King was dead, and that we 
 had a woman to reign over us. This was quite beyond his com- 
 prehension — how she was to contrive to reign, and how men 
 were to agree to obey her, he gave up in despair. He asked 
 whether the King's death would make any difference to us : he 
 
 was in hopes it might have given A a step in the service. 
 
 He invited us to come and spend a week with him, which we 
 fully intend to do as soon as the weather allows. When he had 
 sat about an hour, he took his leave with the same ceremonies as 
 at his arrival : salams on all sides, pipe whistling, Jew's-harp 
 twanging, guards recovering arms, courtiers putting on their 
 shoes, and all marching off to the word of command as before, 
 " Halt I Present! Fire I" At parting he shook hands to show 
 how European his manners were, and he took leave of me in 
 English : " My Lady, I now to your Excellency say farewell : 
 I shall hope you to pay me one visit, and on one week go (mean- 
 ing hence) I shall come again to see the face of your honour 
 civilian." 
 
 Besides the Rajahs, there are a number of natives of lower 
 rank who are very fond of calling to keep themselves in remem- 
 brance in case of an appointment falling vacant. Some only 
 
let. xii,] NATIVE VISITOKS. 55 
 
 come as far as the gate, and stand there to make a salam when 
 we go out. These never speak, but they put on some part of 
 the dress belonging to the situation they want, in order that we 
 may understand their meaning. A Court writer in expectance 
 holds writing materials in his hand ; a Peon sticks a dagger in 
 his belt, &c. Others of rather higher pretensions come to the 
 house and pay a visit. One of them calls regularly twice a- week, 
 and the same dialogue takes place whenever he comes. 
 
 Visitor. — Salam, great chief! 
 
 A. — Salam to you. 
 Visitor. — Your Excellency is my father and my mother ! 
 
 A. — I am much obliged to you. 
 
 Visitor. — Sar, I am come to behold your honourable face. 
 
 A. — Thank you. Have you anything to say to me ? 
 
 Visitor. — Nothing, great chief! 
 
 A. — Neither have I anything to say, so good morning ; 
 enough for to-day. 
 
 Visitor. — Enough ; good morning, sar: great chief, salam! 
 
 One has to dismiss one's own visitors, as they generally think 
 it an impoliteness to go away of their own accord. We are 
 obliged to appoint a particular hour at which they may come, 
 else they would be hindering us the whole day. 
 
50 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. r LET . xtit. 
 
 LETTER THE THIRTEENTH. 
 
 Rajahmundry, October 31st. 
 We are very eager about our intended Native School — writing-, 
 and planning, and preparing. The difficulty, as usual, has been 
 to find a proper master. In this part of India there are no 
 native Christians, and of course we did not wish to have a Heathen 
 master. On Sunday there came unexpectedly to the service 
 a half-caste stranger. As we had never seen him there before, 
 
 A made some inquiries about him afterwards, and heard 
 
 that he was here only for a couple of days on some business of a 
 lawsuit ; that he understands English well, writes a good hand, 
 and spells correctly ; and it looked respectable and well-disposed 
 his taking the opportunity of coming to church. He is now 
 gone back to his own home ; but, as he seemed promising, and 
 
 we knew of no one better, A has written to offer him the 
 
 schoolmaster's post, if he understands Gentoo ; and we are now 
 waiting for his answer. Meanwhile we are busy giving it out 
 among the natives, and collecting promises of scholars. To-day 
 one of the upper Court servants (post-office head writer), called 
 for a chat, so we documentized him, and he offered to look for 
 
 scholars. A asked whether, if we set up a girls' school, any 
 
 girls would come ; but Seenevasarow said, " No : what for girls 
 learn ? " We had a great discussion on the subject, but he ended 
 by saying that if a girl learned to read, some misfortune was sure 
 to happen to her relations — most likely her father or mother 
 would die. We told him that / had learned both to read and to 
 write, and my father and mother were alive and well, and that 
 all European ladies learnt reading and writing, and yet no mis- 
 fortune happened to any of their relations in consequence ; but 
 he said, " Ah ! Europe people never mind — never hurt ; only 
 native people hurt." A told him that it was a notion the 
 
let. xiii.] TEMPERATURE. 57 
 
 Pishashi (devil) put into their heads in order to keep them from 
 any good — and a great deal more besides ; to which he answered, 
 " Hum ! sometime very true ; but how can do ? girl got no 
 sense ! " The consequence of this notion is, that the women, 
 from being utterly neglected, are a hundred times worse than the 
 men. As soon as European children are old enough to talk and 
 understand, one is obliged to have bearers to attend upon them, 
 because it is not safe to trust them with the women ; they are so 
 wicked, so lying, and so foolish. 
 
 The cool weather is coming on now : thermometer 86° and 84°. 
 From having been completely heated through in the summer, I 
 am now pretty well Indianized, and find the present temperature 
 quite cool and pleasant. In the early mornings it is 74°, which 
 feels so cold that I am glad of a cloak to go out with. The 
 same degree of the thermometer certainly does not feel so hot 
 here as it would at home. 
 
 There are so many changes in the service, that we shall pro- 
 bably not remain at this station very long, and we may be glad 
 of a removal when the hot season returns ; but, for the present, 
 this place is so pleasant and so very pretty, that I should be quite 
 sorry to leave it. Everybody says that the view from our win- 
 dows is one of the most beautiful in all this part of India. We 
 have just succeeded inputting the garden into nice order, and are 
 are feeling quite settled and comfortable. I have three little 
 deer tethered on the lawn : they are very pretty creatures, and 
 quite tame and friendly. Also I am taming some fine jungle 
 peacocks. 
 
 To-night the hunter brought in a superb leopard (dead) ; they 
 had shot him in looking for game : his beauty was still perfect, 
 and in my own heart I was almost sorry such a handsome crea- 
 ture should have been killed ; but they are very mischievous 
 among the cattle, and a price is paid by Government for every 
 one killed. The skins all belong to the Collector; but I mean 
 to beg this one of him, as it was caught during our reign. 
 
 Now, in the cool nights, the hyaenas and jackals come con- 
 stantly into our garden, and howl under the windows : it is 
 a most unpleasant noise, like a human being in agony. This 
 morning I was told that " a cat had run away with a child." 
 I was horror-struck, and thought it must have been a hyaena; 
 
58 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xiii. 
 
 but on inquiry I found the child was nothing- but a young- pigeon 
 — l< pigeon-child," as they explained it. The ducks laid a 
 number of eggs, which were brought for us to see. " You must 
 make little ducks," said the Master. " Sar, I shall do," said the 
 butler. I laughed at the order ; but a hen was caught, put into 
 a basket with the eggs, and the lid shut down upon her ; and in 
 a little time I was told there were " four babies" in the poultry- 
 yard. 
 
 I have just received a letter from the Madras Moonshee, who 
 begs to express " the concern I have for your happiness as my 
 matron, your state of health, and the state of my rising matron, 
 your child." I suppose he thinks matron is the feminine of 
 patron. 
 
 November 3rd. — One evening, while the Hamiltons and 
 several other visitors were still with us, I had gone to my room 
 to rest a little before tea, when I suddenly heard a queer familiar 
 twang in the drawing-room, which, though I could not distin- 
 guish a word, I was sure could only come through a French 
 nose. Presently Maty brought a note from the Collector to beg 
 us to help his friend M. d'Arzel on his journey ; so I went into 
 the drawing-room to receive him. There I found all my party 
 of Englishmen working for their lives at French politesses, such 
 as, " Permetty,. Mushoo" — " Mushoo, je suis tres aisy," &c. 
 Monsieur himself was a true Frenchman, not at all distingue 
 (an agent to one of the great French mercantile houses), but 
 most completely at his ease, and ready for his company whatever 
 it might be — keeping up conversation, and finding answers to 
 English speeches in French, that I am sure it was impossible for 
 hirn to understand. He addressed some remark to Mrs. Hamilton, 
 which only meeting with a stare from her, Mr. Hamilton an- 
 swered for her, "Elle ne parle pas, Moseer 1 " — " A — h ! " said 
 the Frenchman, in a tone of most commiserating surprise. I 
 believe he thought she was dumb. 
 
 He had contrived to travel from Madras, four hundred miles, 
 without knowing one word of any of the native languages, or of 
 English, making himself understood merely by signs. We gave 
 him his supper, ordered his bearers, and sent him on. After he 
 was gone, the Englishmen began talking over all the French 
 adventures of their past lives, and I discovered that they were, 
 
let. xiii.] SCHOOL OPENED. 59 
 
 as school-girls say, " very fond of French," not to say proud of 
 it, and many Frenchmen had told them all — the innocent birds ! — 
 that they spoke it quite like natives. When Mr. Hamilton and 
 some friend of his were travelling in France together, they took 
 it in turn to give the orders at the inns, because " one man could 
 not speak French every day :" but the friend often grew restive ; 
 he used to call to the waiter, " Gassor !" " Monsieur." <k Now, 
 Hamilton, I wish you would tell him." " No, indeed ; it is not 
 my turn ; I spoke French yesterday." " Well then, I won't. 
 It is impossible to talk their nonsense : Gassor, ally vous or." 
 
 One of our visitors at this time was a young ensign of seven- 
 teen, travelling in command of a company of Sepoys in charge 
 of treasure, and it was quite a pleasure to see a creature so 
 innocently important and happy. He travelled on horseback, 
 and had a pony which he talked of just like a human being, and 
 admired as much as any hero. He was attacked by some wild 
 native horses at the entrance of the village — so, he said, " I took 
 off my saddle and bridle, and set my pony at them ; and if the 
 people had not come and separated them, I know he would soon 
 have licked them all. He is a capital fellow !" I saw his pony 
 afterwards, the ugliest Pariah beast I ever set eyes on ! You 
 must know people here talk of high-caste and Pariah horses, 
 Pariah dogs, &c. The native horses are Pariahs, the high-caste 
 are Arabs. I have a high-caste horse, who is so excessively 
 puffed up with pride that he will not bear the sight of a pony : 
 I am obliged to make the horse-keeper run before me to clear 
 the way of all ponies, or else this creature fights them, with me 
 on his back. 
 
 November 23rd. — Our school is now opened with about twenty- 
 five boys, and more coming. All caste boys. A thinks 
 
 it better to teach them whenever one can, as it is far more 
 difficult to get at them than at the Pariahs, and also the education 
 of the upper ranks has much more influence than that of the 
 Pariahs. We have a Bramin to teach Gentoo, and David Gon- 
 salves, the half-caste, to teach English. I went to see them the 
 other morning. (Tell your charity-school girls at home that 
 they come at six o'clock, and are always in time !) The Bra- 
 mins and merchant boys sat together ; there was another row 
 of the Moochy or workman caste ; another of Mussulman bovs ; 
 
60 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xiii. 
 
 and, behind all, a row of grown-up men, who come to amuse 
 themselves by watching and picking up a little by listening : but 
 they talk, and are very troublesome, so they are in future only 
 to be admitted on examination days. We have but few books, 
 as they are very expensive, and the whole cost of the school 
 must devolve upon the Hamiltons and ourselves ; therefore we 
 mean to spend our money in good books, which will be useful 
 for them to read, and not in mere spelling-books. I make great 
 pasteboard columns, with alphabets, spelling and first lessons, in 
 large printing hand. One column does for the whole school to 
 learn from at once, and we mean to keep to these till the boys 
 can read a little, so as really to make use of a book. I have 
 printed a number of texts to hang round the school-room, and 
 the first text I chose for my poor little heathens was Psalm cxv. 
 4 — 8. I dare say by sending to Madras, by and by, we may be 
 able to get printed sheets .of lessons ; but the wind has set in 
 now the wrong way for ships coming from Madras, and parcels 
 sent by land are a long while on the road, and, as our scholars 
 are ready, we do not like to wait. You must understand that 
 we have no immediate hope of making Christians of these boys 
 by our teaching, but we wish to "do what we can :" this kind 
 of school is all we can do for them, and I fully believe that, if 
 schools were set up all over the country, it would go far towards 
 shaking their Heathenism, by putting truth into their heads, at 
 any rate, instead of falsehood. 
 
let. xiv.] WSIT TO " PENNY-WHISTLE." Gl 
 
 LETTER THE FOURTEENTH. 
 
 December 15th. 
 We are just returned from our long-promised visit to Penny- 
 Whistle, after a very amusing excursion, though, if I had known 
 what an undertaking the journey would be, I should never have 
 
 attempted it, or rather A never would have consented 
 
 to it, however urgent my curiosity might have made me. How- 
 ever, we are safe at home again, and the journey has done us 
 nothing but good. When the time came for us to start, ac- 
 cording to appointment, A said he thought it would be 
 
 scarcely worth the trouble, and that we should be " more quiet 
 and comfortable at home" — such a thorough John Bull ! — but I 
 made him go, as I wished to " see a little of life." The people 
 had told us that the distance was fifteen miles ; so we expected 
 that, starting at half-past five in the afternoon, we should arrive 
 about ten o'clock, in time for a good night's rest. But it turned 
 out to be thirty miles, and no road ; we had to grope our way 
 over cotton-fields, a pouring rain during almost all the night 
 coming down in such torrents that I could not hear the bearers' 
 song, pitch-dark, and the ground almost all the way knee-deep 
 in water. We were twelve hours splashing and wading through 
 the mud, and " plenty tired" when we arrived. But a palanquin 
 is much less fatiguing than a carriage, and an hour's sleep and a 
 good breakfast soon set us to rights. 
 
 When we arrived at Dratcharrum, the Rajah's town, we were 
 taken to a choultry,* which he had prepared and ornamented 
 with bits of old carpet for our first reception. I could not 
 imagine why we did not go to his house at once, according to 
 his invitation ; but I found afterwards that he had arranged our 
 going first to the choultry, in order that he might send for us in 
 state to his mud palace. All his principal people came to pay 
 
 * Building for the reception of native travellers. It is generally open to 
 the air, and much less convenient than a ' Traveller's Bungalow.' 
 
62 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xiv. 
 
 their compliments, and he sent us a very good breakfast ; and 
 when we had eaten it, his Gomashta (a sort of secretary, at least 
 more like that than anything else) came to say that all things 
 were ready for our removal. I expected something of a row at 
 starting, but I was quite unprepared for the uproar he had pro- 
 vided for us. As soon as our palanquins were taken into the 
 street, a gang of musicians started up to play before us with all 
 their miofht ; a sort of performance much like an imitation of 
 one of Rossini's most noisy overtures played by bagpipes, hurdy- 
 gurdies, penny trumpets and kettle-drums, all out of tune. Then 
 came banners, swords, flags, and silver sticks ; then heralds to 
 proclaim our titles, but we could not make out what they were ; 
 
 and then dancing-girls. A looked rather coy at being, as 
 
 he said, "made such a fool of;" but when the dancing-girls 
 began their antics, ankle-deep in the mud, the whole turn-out 
 was so excessively absurd, that mortal gravity could stand it no 
 longer, and he was obliged to resign himself to his fate, and 
 laugh and be happy like me. 
 
 When we arrived at the palace, on entering the gateway, 
 the first thing I saw was a very fine elephant making his 
 salam ; side by side with him a little wooden rocking-horse ; 
 the court filled with crowds of ragged retainers, and about fifty 
 or more dancing-girls, all bobbing and bowing, salaming and 
 anticking " nineteen to the dozen." At last we came to the 
 Rajah's own hall, where we found him, the pink of Hindoo polite- 
 ness, bestowing more flowers of speech upon us in a quarter of an 
 hour than one could gather in all England in a twelvemonth. 
 He ushered us to the rooms prepared for us, and stayed with us 
 for some time to have a talk, surrounded by all his retinue. His 
 palace consisted of a number of courts, walled in, unpaved, and 
 literally ankle-deep in mud. "We could not cross them, but all 
 round there was a raised narrow pathway of hard earth, which we 
 crept round, holding on by the wall for fear of slipping into the 
 mud beneath. Our apartments consisted of one of these courts 
 and the rooms belonging to it. At one end was a room, or rather 
 gallery, which they call a hall, open to the court on one side, 
 without any doors or windows ; a small room at each end of the 
 large one, and a sort of outer yard for the servants. The three 
 other sides of the square communicated with other courts of the 
 
let. xiv.] VISIT TO " PENNY-WHISTLE." fi3 
 
 same kind, one opening into the Rajah's own hall. In the middle 
 of our gallery there was a wooden alcove overhanging the street, 
 in which Penny- Whistle sits and smokes when he is alone. The 
 furniture was a table, a carpet, four chairs, two cane sofas, and a 
 footstool. The room was hung with pictures of Swamies by 
 native artists, two French looking-glasses in fine frames, fastened 
 to the wall in their packing-cases, the lids being removed for the 
 occasion, and two little shaving-glasses with the quicksilver 
 rubbed off the back. Penny-Whistle was very fond of his pic- 
 tures, and sent for some other great coloured prints of hares and 
 foxes to show us. They had been given him by an Englishman 
 long ago, and the colour was rubbed off" in many places, so I 
 offered to mend them for him, which greatly pleased him. While 
 I was filling up the holes in his foxes' coats with a little Vandyke 
 brown, he stood by crossing his hands and exclaiming, " Ah ! all 
 same as new ! wonderful skill ! " and A took the oppor- 
 tunity to put in his usual lecture concerning the advisableness of 
 girls' education. Penny- Whistle said he thought it was a very 
 fine thing to teach girls, but that his people were " too much 
 stupid," and did not like it, and he would not go contrary to their 
 prejudices, &c. When we were tired of him we dismissed him, 
 as the natives think it a great impoliteness to go away till they 
 
 are desired ; so, when we had talked as long as we could, A 
 
 said that I was going to sleep, for that he (Penny- Whistle) 
 " must be aware that sleep was a very good thing." That is the 
 proper formula. When the peons come to report their going 
 away to eat their rice, they always inform me that I " must be 
 aware that eating is a very good thing, and necessary to a man's 
 life." 
 
 After we were rested and brisk again, Penny sent us our din- 
 ner. We had brought with us, at his desire, plates, knives and 
 forks, bread and beer, and he sent us, besides, all his own messes, 
 native-fashion, brass trays lined with leaves, and a different little 
 conundrum on each leaf; pillaws, quantities of pickles, ten or 
 a dozen varieties of chutnies, different vegetables, and cakes 
 made of grease, pepper, and sugar. The Bramins of Penny- 
 Whistle's class always have their food served on the leaves of the 
 banyan-tree. 
 
 After dinner he took us out to see the town : we in our palan- 
 
64 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xiv. 
 
 quins, and he in his tonjon,* and all his ragged robins piping and 
 drumming before us. The whole -town of course turned out to 
 
 see the show : one of A 's palanquin doors was shut, so Penny 
 
 stopped his procession and came to beg that A would do him 
 
 the favour to keep it all open, and " show himself to the multi- 
 tude." The town was all built of mud : the bettermost houses 
 whitewashed, but the others not even that, and the streets ankle- 
 deep in the mud washed off from the houses ; but in the midst of 
 all this dirt and discomfort, some little bit of tinsel would peep 
 out at every opportunity : women covered with ornaments from 
 head to foot, peeping out of the mud-hovels ; men with superb 
 Cashmere shawls looking quite beggarly from rags and dirt. 
 This is " Eastern splendour ; "-—a compound of mud and magni- 
 ficence, filth and finery. Penny- Whistle is a great Prince in his 
 little way, one of the old hereditary Rajahs of the highest caste. 
 In the course of our expedition he took us to see the pagoda. I 
 had never before been inside one, and was very curious to know 
 what it really was. First, there was a high wall round a large 
 square compound ; in the middle of each wall an immensely high 
 gateway. This gateway is the pyramid-like building that one 
 sees outside, and that I always supposed to be the pagoda, but I 
 find it is only the portico. On entering the principal gateway, 
 it was such a large place, that I thought we were inside the pa- 
 goda itself, but we went through to the compound, and inside 
 that there was another very high wall round a square court, with 
 one porch opposite the principal entrance : on going into this we 
 found ourselves in the pagoda. It was a wonderful, dreamy, 
 light-headed sort of a place, a low roof, and an interminable per- 
 spective of rows of massive, grotesque pillars, vanishing in dark- 
 ness — I could not see the end of them — with many dark recesses 
 in the walls, and here and there a strange, white-turbaned figure, 
 just glancing out for a moment, and disappearing again in the 
 darkness : altogether I never was in a place that gave me so much 
 the feeling of a light-headed dream. In the middle of the court, 
 round which these galleries of pillars ran, was the Svvamy-house, 
 or place in which the idol is enshrined. They brought us oppo- 
 site to it, and by stooping a little I could have seen all the in- 
 side, but I thought that perhaps some of the lookers-on might 
 * A kind of open sedan- chair. 
 
ukt. xiv.] VISIT TO " PENNY-WHISTJ 
 
 fancy I was bowing down to the god, so E \VorfRI not run the 
 risk. V^£ - 
 
 When we came back to Penny's house, we found it all lighted 
 up with stinking torches, and the constant native amusement of 
 nautch* and fireworks, and crowds of spectators. We stayed 
 with him as long as we could endure the heat, din, and glare, and 
 then went to our own rooms. There we found everything such 
 a complete contrast to the native taste, that we could scarcely 
 fancy ourselves only a hundred yards from all the Rajah's row. 
 Our matee had lighted the candles, and placed our tea-things, 
 books, and drawing materials on the table, all looking as quiet 
 and comfortable as at home. I never saw anything so curiously 
 different from the scene of the minute before : every feeling and 
 idea was changed in an instant. But the next day we were to 
 see, as the Hindoos say, "all things native" again; so I asked 
 Puntooloo (that is his real name) to let me have a ride on his 
 elephant. He had it brought out directly, but it was such an 
 awful affair, such an awkward ladder to mount by, so many people 
 in the way, such a bad howdah, a present from some English 
 gentleman of his own carpentering, and altogether so very incon- 
 venient, that I was frightened and would not go ; so I went out 
 in my palanquin, and the elephant walked before me, to see 
 Penny's garden, as he called it, a muddy swamp full of betel-nut 
 and cocoa-nut trees. 
 
 When we returned to the house, he introduced me to his wife : 
 I had been longing to see her, but did not dare ask it for fear of 
 distressing his feelings ; however, he proposed it himself. They 
 brought her when A was out of the room. She was an im- 
 mense creature, but young, with rather a good sphinx-like face, 
 — altogether much like a handsome young feather bed, — dressed 
 in green muslin embroidered with gold, and covered with jewels 
 from top to toe, besides a belt of gold coins round her waist. 
 All her attendant women came with her and stood at the door. 
 The Rajah's Gomashta stood by, to order her about and teach 
 her manners, and one of my peons acted as interpreter. When 
 she first came in, she twirled, or rather rolled, round and round, 
 and did not know what to do, so the Gomashta bid her make 
 salaam, and sit down on a chair ; and then I did the same. We 
 * Dancing girls. 
 
66 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xiv. 
 
 did not know much of each other's languages— she nothing of 
 mine, and I only enough of Gen too to be aware that the peon 
 mistranslated every speech we made, and invented the conversa- 
 tion according to his own taste, making it consist entirely of most 
 furious compliments on either side. She was very curious about 
 my clothes, especially my bonnet, which she poised upon her fore- 
 finger, and spun round like a top. I showed her some pictures ; 
 she held them upside down, and admired them very much. She 
 
 seemed well amused and comfortable till A came accidentally 
 
 into the room, when she jumped up, wheeled round so as to turn 
 her broad back to him, and waddled off as fast as her fat sides 
 would let her. Of course, he went away directly, not wishing to 
 hurt her modesty ; and as soon as he was gone she came mincing 
 back again, reseated herself with all sorts of affected airs and 
 graces, and sent him a condescending message to " beg he would 
 not distress himself, for that he was her father and mother.' , 
 She did not mind the peons and servants standing by. 
 
 While she remained with me, A went and sat with 
 
 Penny -Whistle, and took the opportunity of being alone with 
 him to try to do him a little good. He was very ready to listen, 
 unusually so for a Bramin, and did not refuse to take some 
 books ; so next day we sent him plenty, and I have written to 
 Madras for a Gentoo Bible for him, well bound, that he may 
 like it. I wish, when you have an opportunity, you would send 
 me some of those twopenny "moral pocket-handkerchiefs" with 
 alphabets and pictures on them ; also some children's penny 
 pictures, especially anything of the Queen. They would be 
 most acceptable presents to the natives. I took Penny some 
 drawings I had made for him of subjects likely to suit his taste, 
 particularly an eruption of Mount Vesuvius, on account of the 
 red flames. I put the drawings in a blue satin portfolio, em- 
 broidered with scarlet and gold, and poor Penny was enchanted 
 with the whole concern. 
 
 We came home on a dry night, quite safely, and found all 
 well ; but another unexpected stranger visitor had arrived the 
 night we were away, and was established in our house ready to 
 receive us : however, he was an agreeable person, and we liked 
 his company. 
 
 In your last letter you ask if we have been alarmed by an 
 
let. xiv.] A NEW TRIBE DISCOVERED. 67 
 
 insurrection of which the newspapers have spoken. I never 
 heard of any one being frightened at it, and it is all quiet now. 
 It was six hundred miles from Madras, and I never even heard 
 any particulars of it till this gentleman passed through. He 
 had been engaged in helping to quell it. He told me that a 
 new tribe, hitherto unknown, had been discovered among the 
 rebels : a fine, manly, but fierce race, showing many traces of 
 Jewish origin, both in countenance and habits. They wor- 
 shipped an invisible God, but had also one wretched image 
 perched on a tree, which they seemed to look upon as a sort of 
 devil to be propitiated. Unlike the other natives of India, 
 they all lived in houses, boarded, floored, and ceiled with cedar- 
 wood. 
 
 f2 
 
68 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xv. 
 
 LETTER THE FIFTEENTH. 
 
 December 21st. 
 I hAve just despatched a letter to you, and I owe eight to other 
 people, therefore I begin another to you ; that, I perceive, is 
 your method with regard to me, which I highly approve. 
 
 ****** 
 
 To-day arrived the little parcel which you sent from England 
 by the Hindoo servants. Poor things ! the ship in which they 
 sailed was wrecked off the Cape : no lives were lost, but the 
 whole of the cargo was destroyed — all the little property of 
 these two poor boys, the presents they had received in England, 
 &c. ; but in the midst of all their distress and alarm, they con- 
 trived to save my little package, and, to my very great surprise, 
 brought it to me quite uninjured. Was it not a pretty instance 
 of care and faithfulness ? 
 
 Many thanks for the insect-box and pins, which are great trea- 
 sures. I had been trying in vain to procure some, and had 
 even sent to Calcutta, but they were unknown there. I wish we 
 could have seen the friend you introduced to us, but he is at 
 Madras, and we are four hundred miles off. It is very seldom 
 that people introduced to each other from England really meet 
 in this wide India. However, those young cadets are generally 
 sent up the country soon after their arrival, and I hope Mr. 
 M may come our way. * * 
 
 Our school is very pretty and satisfactory, the numbers daily 
 increasing, and no objection made to the use of our books, which 
 is in itself a great thing. Our boys learn such parts of the 
 Bible as have been translated, and sensible lesson-books, instead 
 of the rubbish they are taught in their own schools. The 
 Hamiltons and ourselves take it in turn to examine the school 
 every Saturday evening, when all the natives who choose to 
 come are admitted to hear what goes on. Besides this, we pay 
 private visits in the week ; and as long as the " Doories " keep 
 
let. xv.] PROGRESS OF THE SCHOOL. 69 
 
 up this constant superintendence, I hope all will go on well. We 
 have not many rules — the boys receive tickets for regular attend- 
 ance, and forfeit them for non-attendance, and their rewards 
 depend upon those tickets. When we examine them, I hear the 
 English, and A the Gentoo scholars. Their English learn- 
 ing at present only extends to B, A, Ba ; but they read the 
 
 Bible in Gentoo, and A tries to make them understand it a 
 
 little. We have a Gentoo master, a Bramin, at about 61. per 
 annum ; an English master, at 30/. : house-rent, peon, and 
 sweepers, about 61. more ; and the only other expenses will be 
 books and rewards. The little half-caste English master is 
 clever and willing, and does his work well. The Bramin is a 
 solemn, stately creature, clever at teaching, but a mean old 
 thing. He made all the boys give him a pice (half a farthing) apiece 
 whenever he obtained them a holiday, and he was always invent- 
 ing excuses and pretences for holidays, till we found out the trick. 
 A and Mr. Hamilton, who is a most kind and active co- 
 adjutor, are also establishing a Pariah school. This will be 
 only for Gentoo. At first we had a great deal of consultation 
 as to whether it would be best to make our scholars pay anything 
 for admission ; but, on talking it over with the natives them- 
 selves, we found it would not answer our purposes, as there were 
 very few, even among the richest, who would be willing to pay, 
 and we must have made the same rule for all, and our object was 
 to teach as many as we could. 
 
 There is one little boy who comes dressed in the finest muslin, 
 with a gold cap, and silver bangles, and emerald earrings, look- 
 ing quite a little prince ; but they all prefer a charity-school. 
 They learn very quickly, and are in nice order ; Mr. Hamilton 
 
 says it is already superior to the N school, though that has 
 
 been established nearly a year ; but into that school they admit 
 Pariahs, which always ruins a caste school. Even in England 
 you could not expect a gentleman to send his son to the same 
 school with the children of his footman, and here caste is a re- 
 ligious distinction, as well as a difference of rank. After any 
 natives become Christians, it is doubtless highly desirable for the 
 missionaries to do their utmost to induce them to give up caste, 
 as far as it is a religious distinction ; but while they are 
 Heathens, it seems merely waste of time and trouble to attempt 
 
70 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xv. 
 
 it, and only prevents any but Pariahs from coming under their 
 influence. In Bengal I hear that it is easier, as the natives there 
 have associated more with Europeans, and their prejudices are less 
 strong. This is strange, as their Heathenism is still worse : the 
 suttees, Juggernaut's sacrifices, &c, were all peculiar to Bengal. 
 
 The castes are not now so unmixed as when first invented. 
 Indeed I believe that some of the original divisions no longer 
 exist ; but they make up for it by subdividing the Sudra or 
 merchant caste, and the common people call every different 
 trade a caste. Ayah continually tells me " that man moochy 
 (carpenter) caste;" or "bearer caste," &c. The shoemakers, I 
 believe, are the lowest of any. The Pariahs are of no caste at 
 all. Learned men think that the Sudras were the original in- 
 habitants of the country, and the three higher castes the con- 
 querors. Nobody seems to know much about the Pariahs ; I 
 suppose they were the refuse of all. The trades are as hereditary 
 as the castes ; every man follows his father's business, and 
 seems to have no idea of raising himself in life, beyond making 
 a little more money. 
 
 I wish I could, as you ask, tell you any pretty stories for your 
 schools ; but I am sorry to say they are not at all plentiful : there 
 are very few natives who are even nominal Christians, and still 
 fewer whom we can reasonably believe to be anything but what 
 is here called " curry-and-rice Christians." In England, I think 
 people have a very false impression of what is done in India. 
 That is not the fault of the Missionaries, who write the real 
 truth home ; but the Committees seem to publish all the good 
 and none of the bad, for fear of discouraging people. In fact, 
 it is unreasonable to expect more to be done without more effi- 
 cient means. Suppose thirty clergymen to the whole of England, 
 — what could they do ? and that is about the proportion of the 
 Missionaries in Madras, and they have to work amongst Heathens. 
 Perhaps about half of them know the language well, and the 
 rest speak it like school-French. The chaplains are not Mis- 
 sionaries : their duties lie almost as completely amongst 
 Europeans as if they had remained at home. Mr. C, for 
 instance, is a very excellent, useful clergyman, with a large 
 English and half-caste congregation, but no more a Missionary 
 to the Heathen than your vicar. There are thousands needed 
 
let. xv.] WANT OF MISSIONARIES. 71 
 
 where one or two come ; and schoolmasters are wanted as much 
 as preachers. 
 
 There is great difference of opinion as to the class of men 
 most wanted, and most likely to be useful as Missionaries. Some 
 people have an idea that it is scarcely necessary to have persons 
 of the birth and education of our English clergymen, but that a 
 larger number of rather inferior men might be employed at a 
 smaller salary, and be quite as efficient. Of course any Christian 
 really working among the Heathen is likely to do some good ; 
 but I believe that the more educated and the more of a gentle- 
 man he is, the more influence he will have among the Hin- 
 doos. They are themselves most excellent judges of manners 
 and standing in society, and invariably know a gentleman, and 
 respect him accordingly. Their own priests are of the highest 
 caste, and it lowers our religion in their eyes if they see that 
 our Padres, as they call the Missionaries, are of what they con- 
 sider low caste. Perhaps you will think this idea worldly, and 
 too much like the proceedings of the Jesuits when they pre- 
 tended to be a new class of Bramins ; but our home clergy are 
 gentlemen and educated men, and I cannot see why we should 
 send out Missionaries less qualified for a much more difficult 
 work. An English University education, and the habit of really 
 hard study, prove immense advantages in mastering these native 
 languages. 
 
 I am, as usual, expecting several visitors to-morrow, to stay 
 till the end of next week. " Missis don't want, but no can help !" 
 After all, perhaps, it is as well that we are obliged to have 
 people come in this way, or we should grow quite farouche, for 
 we are both always so busy, and so fond of our own habits and 
 occupations, that I am sure we should never invite interrup- 
 tions. Ycu ask what our visitors say, " if ever they say any- 
 thing ?" That, you know, depends upon taste ; there is any- 
 thing, and anything — " fagots et fagots." However, some of 
 them are very sensible and agreeable ; and when I have them 
 alone, they talk very well, and I like their company ; but as soon 
 as three or four of them get together they speak about nothing 
 but " employment " and "promotion." Whatever subject may 
 be started, they contrive to twist it, drag it, clip it, and pinch it, 
 till they bring it round to that ; and if left to themselves, they 
 sit and conjugate the verb " to collect:" " I am a collector — He 
 
72 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xv. 
 
 was a collector — We shall be collectors — You ought to be a 
 collector — They might, could, should, or would have been col- 
 lectors ;" so, when it conies to that, while they conjugate " to 
 collect," I decline listening. 
 
 January 18th. — A and I have been out in the district, 
 
 travelling about to see the world a little. He had a few days' 
 holiday in his Court, and we took advantage of it to go and visit 
 some of the places on the coast, in order to see which would be 
 the best refuge in the hot season. Also A wished to in- 
 spect the proceedings of some of the District Moonsiffs, or native 
 judges, under his orders. We left the baby at home, as she was 
 quite safe with the old ayah, who really deserves the character 
 she gives herself, " I too much careful woman ;" and baby would 
 have been tired, and perhaps have caught cold, with a hurried 
 journey at this time of the year. The nights are now really 
 cold, and the days pleasant. First we went to Narsapoor, a large 
 native village about six miles from the sea. We did not expect 
 to find that a good place for ourselves ; but we had heard that two 
 Missionaries were established there, and we wanted to see them, 
 and learn how they went on, and whether there was anything we 
 could do to make them more comfortable. They were English 
 shoemakers, Mr. Bowden and Mr. Beer, dissenters of Mr. Grove's 
 class, but good, zealous creatures, and in the way to be very 
 useful. They have two pretty, young English wives, as simple 
 as themselves. They are living completely among the natives, 
 teaching and talking to them, and distributing books. One of 
 them is a man of great natural talent, strong-headed, and clear 
 and sensible in his arguments ; if he had been educated, he would 
 probably have turned out a very superior person. They com- 
 plained much of the difficulties of the language ; but A says 
 
 that the two men spoke it really much better than the general 
 run of missionaries. One of the wives said to me very inno- 
 cently, " It is pertickly difficult to us, ma'am, on account of our 
 never having learnt any language at all. I don't know what to 
 make of the grammar." I advised her not to trouble herself 
 with the grammar, but only to try and learn to speak the lan- 
 guage so as to converse with the natives — to learn it, in short, as 
 a child learns to talk. At her age, and without any education, 
 it was next to impossible for her to learn the grammar of an 
 Oriental language ; but I do not suppose she will follow my 
 
let. xv.] MISSIONARIES AT NARSAPOOR. 73 
 
 advice, as she had a great notion of studying, reading with 
 Moonshees, and so on. They live almost like the natives, 
 without either bread or meat, which in the long run is a great 
 privation to Europeans; but they have rice, fish, fowls, and 
 vegetables, and they say, " The Lord has brought down our 
 appetites to what he gives us to feed them on." Though they 
 could get no meat, we had our choice of all the sheep in the 
 village, as I suppose the natives would kill themselves for the 
 Judge if he would but eat them. We did not want mutton for 
 ourselves, but we had a sheep killed in order to send it to the 
 Missionaries, together with some bread, and a little supply of 
 wine, to have by them in case of illness. They had not much of 
 a school, only five or six boys ; I do not think that schooling 
 will ever be their vocation. They seem most likely to do good 
 by conversing and associating familiarly with the natives. They 
 said that the people in general were not only willing, but anxious, 
 to talk with them and take their books, and to come and ask 
 them questions ; but one day Mr. Bowden went out with his 
 tracts, and took his stand as usual in the bazaar, when a number 
 of people, headed by some Bramins, came round him "a jeering 
 and a hooting." The Bramins had nothing to say for them- 
 selves, but stood interrupting, mocking, and sneering, till they 
 were tired, and then they said, " Now we have done laughing at 
 you, you may go away — Go !" u No," said Bowden ; " now 
 you have done laughing at me, I shall stay here, and give away 
 all my books ;" and so he did, and the Bramins walked off, 
 and left him the coast clear. One man said that it was of no use 
 preaching to him, for that he was quite perfect and free from 
 sin — he was sure he had no sin at all. Bowden gave him a sheet 
 of paper, and told him to write-down in black ink all the good 
 things he did, and in red ink all the bad things he did, and to 
 bring the paper to him at the end of a week. At the end of the 
 week the man came, and said he still considered himself free 
 from sin, but did not wish to show the paper ! However, he 
 seemed a little disconcerted, and will probably return before 
 long with more inquiries. 
 
 After we left Narsapoor, we went round to several different 
 villages on the coast, and have decided on establishing ourselves 
 during the hot weather at Samuldavee. There is only one small 
 bungalow, and no village near it ; but it is close to the sea, 
 
74 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [i*t. xv - 
 
 and I hope will be cool. We returned home in one night's run 
 of fifteen hours, which was " plenty long- ;" but a palanquin is 
 much less fatiguing than a carriage. I find it the best way, 
 instead of undressing and settling for the night at first starting, 
 to begin the journey, all as usual, and to send on a Peon about 
 twelve miles before us, to get ready fire and milk ; and when we 
 come up with him we have our palanquins put under trees, and 
 remain there about half an hour, undress and take some coffee, 
 and so settle for the night much more comfortably. Palanquin 
 travelling pleases me very much : I can sleep a good part of the 
 night, and, being able to sit up or lie down at pleasure, with 
 plenty of room, I find it far less fatiguing than being cramped 
 up all day in a carriage. 
 
 In passing through the villages, the head men, Moonsiffs,* 
 Cutwalls,*]" &c, always turn out to come and make salaam while 
 we are changing bearers, and we sit up and do our congees in 
 our dressing-gowns and nightcaps, quite agreeable. However, 
 as we had seen them all in coming, and as it was a very long 
 run, we did not want to be disturbed again in the middle of the 
 night ; so we seot a Peon on before to announce that the Judge 
 certainly was to pass through, but that he would be fast asleep 
 and could speak to nobody, and that he must be transferred from 
 the shoulders of one set of bearers to the other without touching 
 the ground, all of which was performed according to order. 
 About three in the morning we were awakened by the silence 
 and stillness : the bearers' song had stopped, and our palanquins 
 
 were quietly set down on the ground, and no one near us. A 
 
 got out to see what was the matter, and he found that we were 
 in a cocoa-nut tope, the bearers all employed in stealing toddy, J 
 and our palanquins completely laden with paddy, § which they 
 had stolen from the fields in coming along ! It would have 
 been a pretty story, if we had not found it out in time, the Judge 
 returning to his Zillah, with his palanquins laden with stolen 
 paddy, and his bearers tipsy with stolen toddy ! 
 
 We found all well at home, and a large packet of European 
 letters waiting to greet us, which would in itself be enough to 
 make all well. 
 
 * Native judges. f Head men of a village. 
 
 % Juice of the cocoa-nut leaves. It is collected in earthen vessels, and 
 left to ferment, when it becomes very intoxicating. 
 § Rice in the ear. 
 
let. xvi.] DISCUSSION ON DIVINITY. 75 
 
 LETTER THE SIXTEENTH. 
 
 "We have had a good deal of trouble with the school lately, 
 which is very vexatious, because it really was going on beauti- 
 fully ; forty -five boys in constant attendance, reading and trans- 
 lating the Bible, using our books in school without the slightest 
 objection, and asking for tracts to take home. But a little while 
 ago there came a Mr. G., a Dissenting Missionary, to visit the 
 Hamiltons : he was a conceited, show-off sort of person, and 
 curiously ignorant. He dined with us one day, and also the 
 Prices, who were staying with us, Mr. Lloyd, Commander of the 
 detachment, and our Scotch Doctor. The Hamiltons had head- 
 aches, and did not come, and I am sure I do not wonder, after 
 their having had to attend to Mr. G.'s clatter for two days. At 
 our house he chose, a propos of nothing, to begin a discussion 
 concerning the evil of the Bishops being in the House of Lords, 
 and various other delinquencies and enormities of the Church, in- 
 cluding the bigotry of supposing that ordination would make any 
 one a minister, unless he was a godly man. Lloyd said nothing — 
 he never does ; the Scotch Doctor sided with Mr. G. ; Captain 
 Price thought the Church of England must be right, though he 
 
 could not say why ; A quoted all the old divines, and I 
 
 slipped in texts ; Mr. G. quoted Mosheim (that is to say, he 
 did not quote him, but he mentioned him) as an authority, not 
 in matters of history, but on points of divinity ; and he declared 
 that he did not know of any such text as " Not forsaking the 
 assembling of yourselves together f and when it was proved by 
 chapter and verse, he said one must consider such a text as that 
 well before one could arrive at the real meaning, for that it 
 never could mean us to meet for public worship with an indif- 
 ferent minister, and that it would be much better to stay and 
 read one's Bible at home. The Doctor said, " According: to 
 quhat ye 're a saying then, ye must have got yer Church of Eng- 
 land airdination from some o' the Pops." A : " Very 
 
76 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xvi. 
 
 likely." Doctor S. : " Wall, and d'ye think it can be good for 
 anything whan it 's passed through all those rogs ?" I suppose 
 the end of the discussion might be, that Mr. G. thought us very 
 bigoted, and we thought him very superficial and ignorant. 
 After this, Mr. Hamilton took him to preach at the school, and 
 
 ordered all the boys to attend. They did not tell A what 
 
 they were going to do, or he would not have allowed it ; for 
 although he is only too thankful to be able to help the Mission- 
 aries to preach on their own responsibility, when, where, and 
 however they can, he thinks it both wrong and inexpedient for 
 people in authority to accompany them, as it sets the natives on 
 their guard, directly, and persuades them that the Government 
 are going to make them Christians by force, as the Moormans 
 made them Mohammedans. In the present instance it raised a 
 great disturbance. In addition to the preaching, Mr. G. got 
 hold of a man's Lingum, or badge of caste, and took it away ; 
 and though he was forced to return it, the whole town has been 
 in a ferment at the insult, and our school is almost broken up in 
 consequence. The boys brought back in a rage all the bags I 
 had given them to put their tickets in, and said they never would 
 come to school again. We have now only twenty boys, instead 
 of forty-five, and they are all petitioning to use their own Hea- 
 then books, instead of ours, and we have no more requests for 
 admittance. A little while ago, when we came in from our 
 morning's ride, we used almost every day to find a pretty boy 
 waiting at the gate, salaaming, and presenting his petition to be 
 sent to school. I hope we shall be able to bring it round again 
 in time, but it is very vexatious. 
 
 We are reading Shore's * Notes on Indian Affairs,' — very 
 clever, true, and amusing. He complains much of the English 
 incivility to the natives ; and I quite agree with him : it is a 
 
 great shame. A says he exaggerates, but I really do not 
 
 think so. A , being an old Indian, is grown used to things 
 
 that strike us griffins. The civilians behave better than the 
 military, though all are bad enough. The other day an old 
 Brainin of high caste called on us while the Prices were in the 
 house ; Captain Price, hearing his voice, sauntered out of the 
 next room with his hands in his waistcoat-pockets, and planted 
 himself directly before the poor old creature, without taking any 
 
.] PAGODA SERVICE. 
 
 other notice of all his salaams and compliments than " Well, 
 old fellow, where are you going?" in a loud, rude voice. The 
 Bramin answered with the utmost apparent respect, but I saw 
 such an angry scowl pass over his face. A little politeness 
 pleases them very much, and they have a good right to it. 
 The upper classes are exceedingly well bred, and many of them 
 are the descendants of native princes, and ought not to be treated 
 like dirt. 
 
 A new magazine is just advertised as coming out at Madras. 
 It is to be conducted by some of the clergymen, in opposition 
 to another periodical, conducted by some others of the clergy- 
 men. The first number is to contain strictures on a review 
 which appeared last month in the other magazine. I grudge the 
 waste of time and thought upon such useless work. The writers 
 come out here, they themselves, and everybody else, believing 
 they will work among the Heathen ; and while the Idol ser- 
 vices are going on all round them, they sit writing their reviews 
 and anti-reviews to the sound of the Pagoda bell ! 
 
 The other night I was sitting in my Tonjon sketching a pa- 
 goda, when I saw a long procession of Bramins go in, and sud- 
 denly the service began. I could hear it all, through the walls. 
 The first part sounded exactly like a Roman Catholic mass. 
 There was music, and the mumbling chant of the old priests who 
 could not sing, and the shrill voices of the choir-boys, and at 
 intervals a little bell tinkling; till it was all interrupted by 
 violent screams from girls' voices — perhaps they were meant for 
 singing, but they sounded very horrible : then came loud beating 
 of drums and ringing of bells, and it was all finished. 
 
 February Zrd. — We are just come in from the school, the 
 first time I have been there since Mr. G.'s unlucky visit. Some 
 of the deserters have returned, but about fifteen are still obsti- 
 nate. They all crowded round me, saying, " Good ivning, 
 Sar ! " I tried to teach them to say " Ma'am," and explained 
 that " Sir" belonged to the " Doory ;" but a Peon who under- 
 stands a little English, and is extremely proud of his knowledge, 
 would help, and teach them to say " Mammon :" so they got it 
 perfect, " Good ivning, Mammon !" They are very boasting 
 and confidential, and I am very sympathetic. " Sar ! I larn 
 very good ; I am second man." " I am very glad to hear it — 
 
78 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xvi. 
 
 very good man." " And /larn too much good too ! I am tree 
 man." " That is right ; you are a very good man too." Then 
 they salaam and grin, and are very happy. I show them pic- 
 tures, which makes me popular. The head boys are learn- 
 ing to write English : and to-day they made a petition to be 
 allowed " Europe ink," as they could not write English words 
 with Gentoo ink. 
 
 I have been trying to procure some of the cobra capello's 
 poison for Frank to analyse ; and also the native antidotes, the 
 principal of which is a small, smooth, very light black stone 
 which they apply to the bite, and they say that it adheres till it 
 has drawn out all the poison, and then falls off. To-day the 
 snake-charmer brought three fresh caught cobras to give me 
 their poison. He set them up, and made them dance as usual, 
 but did not allow them to strike, as that exhausts the venom. 
 When he had played with them as long as he liked, he shut up 
 two of them in their baskets, and proceeded to catch the third by 
 putting one hand on its tail, and slipping the other very quickly 
 up to the nape of its neck, when he held it so tight as to force it 
 to open its jaws, and then squeezed the poison into a tea-spoon. 
 It is yellow at first, and turns red in about ten days. Each 
 snake yielded only three drops ; so think how powerful it must 
 be ! The cobra did not struggle or writhe at all while the man 
 held it, but afterwards it seemed quite changed and subdued : it 
 lost its spiteful look, and could not be made to stand up and 
 strike, even when the man did his utmost to provoke it, but tried 
 to slink quietly away, looking as if it knew it had lost its power, 
 and was ashamed of not being able to do any mischief. I have 
 put the poison into a little bottle, and keep it carefully covered 
 up from the light. I shall send it home by the first opportunity. 
 It will dry up, of course ; but Dr. Stewart says it will not lose 
 its virtue, or rather its vice, and that Frank must be careful what 
 tricks he plays with it. The natives make pills of it, and take 
 them for fever : I believe it is a strong narcotic. I know the 
 bite of a cobra throws people into a stupor. General W. told 
 me that one of his servants was bitten, and wanted to lie down 
 and go to sleep, but the General made him run before his horse 
 for several miles till he was quite exhausted. No harm came of 
 the bite ; but, as the snake was not caught, it was impossible to 
 
let. xvi.] REMEDIES FOR SNAKE-BITES. 79 
 
 to be certain whether it actually was a cobra. The natives think 
 their own remedies are much assisted by conjuring. Once, when 
 we were travelling-, my bearers stopped, and one of them began 
 to cry and howl and writhe about, saying he was stung by a scor- 
 pion in the road, and could not go on. We gave him eau de 
 luce to rub the place with, but it did no good. One of the Peons 
 then said he could conjure him : so he sat down before him, and 
 began muttering, and sawing the air with his hand, making antics 
 like animal magnetism ; and in a few minutes the wounded man 
 said he was quite well, put his shoulder under the palanquin-pole, 
 and set off with his song again. In your last letter you ask me 
 if the snake-charmers have any herb with them. I do not think 
 they have anything but dexterity and presence of mind, They 
 pretend to be conjurers, and play a number of antics, all quite 
 absurd, but which impose upon the people. Their music seems 
 to irritate the snakes and incite them to strike : but the snake- 
 charmers know their distance exactly, and jump on one side. 
 They take the snakes with perfect safety, as they know exactly 
 where to seize them in the neck. The snakes grow very tame 
 after a time, and the men extract the poison as fast as it collects. 
 They begin their trade as children, so they grow up expert and 
 fearless. The man who brought me the poison told me all his 
 proceedings " for a consideration." He said his father was a 
 snake-charmer before him, and used to take him out when he was 
 quite a child, and teach him the manner of laying hold of the 
 creatures, making him first practise upon harmless snakes ; that 
 there was no secret in it beyond dexterity : but that the people 
 were so afraid of such " bad animals," that they " always tell 
 conjure " when anybody was able to touch them. 
 
80 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xvii. 
 
 LETTER THE SEVENTEENTH. 
 
 February 9th. 
 To-day the Narsapoor head of police sent me a present of a toy 
 of his own invention. It was a representation of a justice-room. 
 There sat the English Judge in his jacket, writing at a desk ; 
 round him all the native Gomashtas, squatted on the floor, writing 
 at their desks ; at the end of the room a wretched prisoner in the 
 stocks ; and, in front of the Judge, another prisoner being tried, 
 with a great Peon by his side, holding a drawn sword in his hand 
 to take care of him. The Englishmen and Court servants were 
 made enormously fat, and when I asked the reason I was told it 
 was to show how rich they were ! It was a very droll perform- 
 ance ; but I was obliged, much against my will, to refuse it. 
 
 A said it was too good to accept, for fear of that tiresome 
 
 plague John Company's finding fault. However, I confess it is a 
 good rule. If I had accepted that, some one else would soon 
 have brought something of more value, and in a little while they 
 would arrive at shawls and pearls, and expect injustice in Court 
 in consequence. When A— — is out, visitors often come to me 
 privately, begging that I will persuade him to give them offices, 
 or to excuse them fines and punishments, &c. Sometimes they 
 go and make their petition to the baby if she is in another room, 
 but she only sucks her thumb at them. When we are out in our 
 tonjons without the " Master," the wives of the petitioners assail 
 me, and their children the baby, screaming and throwing them- 
 selves on the ground before us. Baby likes the uproar extremely, 
 and crows and dances in great glee. Then the petitioner comes 
 
 to A next day, and gravely tells him that " Missy " has 
 
 promised him the post in question. This Court has been for 
 some years past very badly managed ; — idle men sent as Judges, 
 nothing inquired into, cases neglected, and so on ; and the conse- 
 quence is, that some of the rich natives have quite got the upper 
 hand of honesty. One very rich Zemindar's widow owed, and 
 
let. xvn.] DISHONESTY OF RICH NATIVES. 81 
 
 still owes, five thousand rupees to a man in this village. Instead 
 of paying her debt, she took refuge with her son, the present 
 Zemindar, and shut herself up in his house. One Judge after an- 
 other has sent Peons with summonses to the old lady to make her 
 pay the poor man his just due ; but she cares for none of them, 
 and the Zemindar's servants always beat the Peons, and send 
 them away. One Judge summoned the Zemindar to account for 
 the assault on the Peons, but he said it was no fault of his — it was 
 the servants' pleasure : then the servants were summoned, but 
 they ran away and hid themselves, and were not to be found 
 all over the district. The same thing has just now happened 
 
 again ; but A will not take the excuse, and has summoned 
 
 the Zemindar to account for his servants' misdemeanors, as they 
 are in the habit of taking their pleasure in that way. He has 
 fined him two hundred rupees, and sent word that, unless his 
 mother's debt is paid, he shall send a battalion to seize her 
 jewels. It remains to be proved which will gain the day : I am 
 curious to see how it ends. Another Zemindar, choosing to pro- 
 tect a man who had a notification sent to him, fought the peons 
 
 who delivered it, and sent it and them back again : so A 
 
 then sent the notification to the Zemindar himself, with a polite 
 request, or rather command, that he would himself see it served 
 without delay. The Zemindar was frightened at this, and obeyed 
 directly, as humbly as possible. All the Court histories and ad- 
 ventures amuse me very much. 
 
 The business is all taken down in writing, and translated into 
 English. The trials, examination of the witnesses, sentences of 
 the Judge, &c, all go under the general name of" Decrees," 
 and every day a certain number of copies of these Decrees are 
 brought in for the Judge to examine and verify. I often get 
 hold of them to read, and very curious they are ; but the lying 
 and false witnessing are quite horrible. Sometimes the whole 
 case is one great lie supported by innumerable forgeries. The 
 other day a man laid claim to the house and land of another : 
 the claim was well established ; there were all the proper docu- 
 ments to show that the estate had been in his possession, wit- 
 nesses in plenty to swear to the same, and a plausible story as to 
 the manner in which the defendant had cheated him out of it ; 
 and, in short, everything to prove him a most ill-used man. But 
 
 o 
 
82 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xvii. 
 
 the defendant had just as good a story, as carefully arranged 
 papers, and as many respectable witnesses on his side ; but here 
 and there different little things were allowed to transpire which 
 weakened his cause, and gave the plaintiff rather the best of the 
 
 story. A made me guess how the matter had been decided ; 
 
 and, of course, I supposed that the land had been restored to the 
 
 poor injured innocence who claimed it. No such thing : A 
 
 says, in the midst of such constant cheating, he is obliged 
 often to judge by the manner and countenance of a witness rather 
 than by his evidence, and in this case it struck him that there 
 was a cunning under look that did not belong to a true man ; 
 he therefore set on foot a strict inquiry into the affair, and 
 discovered that the whole was a concerted scheme between the 
 two men ; that neither the one nor the other had the property in 
 his possession, nor the slightest claim upon it ; and that it be- 
 longed altogether to another person, who knew nothing whatever 
 about this lawsuit. The object of the two false claimants was 
 to get a Decree passed in favour of one of them, it did not much 
 signify which : the Court Peons must have seen it executed, 
 and the real owner would have been turned out of his property, 
 while the two cheats divided the spoil. 
 
 There seem to be very few cases that are not supported by 
 some forgery or false evidence in the course of the trial. Even 
 when the truth is on their side, and would be quite sufficient, 
 they prefer trying to establish their cause by falsehood, though it 
 discredits rather than helps them. 
 
 February \Qth. — For the last few days we have been occupied 
 with company again. A regiment passed through, and we had 
 to dine all the officers, including a lady ; now they are gone. I 
 perceive the officers' ladies are curiously different from the civi- 
 lians. The civil ladies are generally very quiet, rather languid, 
 speaking in almost a whisper, simply dressed, almost always 
 ladylike and comme il faut, not pretty, but pleasant and nice- 
 looking, rather dull, and give one very hard work in pumping 
 for conversation. They talk of " the Governor," " the Presi- 
 dency," the " Overland," and " girls' schools at home," and 
 have daughters of about thirteen in England for education. 
 The military ladies, on the contrary, are almost always quite 
 young, pretty, noisy, affected, showily dressed, with a great many 
 
let. xvn.] MILITARY AND CIVILIANS. 83 
 
 ornaments, and chatter incessantly from the moment they enter 
 the house. While they are alone with me after dinner, they talk 
 about suckling their babies, the disadvantages of scandal, " the 
 Officers," and " the Regiment ;" and when the gentlemen come 
 into the drawing-room, they invariably flirt with them most 
 furiously. 
 
 The military and civilians do not generally get on very well 
 together. There is a great deal of very foolish envy and jealousy 
 between them, and they are often downright ill-bred to each 
 other, though in general the civilians behave much the best of 
 the two. One day an officer who was dining here said to me, 
 
 " Now I know very well, Mrs. , you despise us all from the 
 
 bottom of your heart ; you think no one worth speaking to in 
 reality but the Civil Service. Whatever people may really be, 
 you just class them all as civil and military — civil and military ; 
 and you know no other distinction. Is it not so ? " I could not 
 resist saying, " No ; I sometimes class them as civil and uncivil." 
 He has made no more rude speeches to me since. 
 
 February ilth. — Yesterday the old Braminee post-office writer 
 came to pay a visit and chat. He had been to a great Heathen 
 feast at some distance — thirty thousand people present. He told 
 us that the Narsapoor Missionaries and Mr. G. were there, 
 preaching and giving away books, and that they said, " What use 
 your feast ? arl (all) too much nonsense ! What for make noise, 
 — tumtums, — washing? — arl that, what for do? pray to God, 
 that prarper (proper) ! M We asked if the people understood and 
 listened, and if any of them believed the " padre's " words. He 
 said, "Understand, very well; — listen, plenty; — believe, no, 
 sar ! " Then he went on to tell us that they could not believe 
 now, no more could he, but that their children's children would 
 all believe ; that we were now in the ninth Avatar, which would 
 last sixty years longer ; that then there would be " plenty too 
 much great trouble," and everything " more worser " than it had 
 ever been before ; that all religion would be destroyed, and this 
 state of confusion would last for some time, but that, within two 
 hundred years from the present time, the tenth Avatar would 
 take place, and Vishnoo would appear to put all in order ; that he 
 would not restore the Hindoo religion, but that caste would be 
 done away with for ever, and all people be alike upon the earth, 
 
 g 2 
 
84 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xvii. 
 
 " just same Europe people tell." Then he went on with their 
 usual story that all religions were alike in their beginning and 
 would be alike in their end, and that all enlightened people be- 
 lieved the same thing, &c, &c. — just the nonsense they always 
 talk ; but I thought his tradition very curious. 
 
 I have taken a Moonshee to translate for me, and to teach me 
 Gentoo. He is a tolerable translator, but a great booby. He 
 was showing me some different forms of the same letter : I asked 
 on what occasions each was to be employed. He said, " This 
 one, carmon (common) letter, I teach boy ; — arther (other) one, 
 sublime letter, I teach hanner (honour) ma'am." Another time 
 I was playing with the baby, and saying, " Talk, baby, talk ! " 
 when Moonshee rose from his chair and came to me very slowly 
 and formally, holding his petticoats over his arm. After a solemn 
 salaam, he told me, " I have one subject to inform your honour." 
 — " Well? " — " I shall inform your honour that this baby can- 
 not talk : it is not capable for her to talk until she shall have 
 arrived at two years." — Did you ever know such an owl ? They 
 have no notion of anything in the shape of a joke, unless it is 
 against the Collectors and the Board of Revenue. That touches 
 their hearts and tickles their fancies directly. 
 
 So many people apply to us for books, that we are going to set 
 up a lending library, to be kept in the school-room, for natives, 
 half-castes, and travelling soldiers who may halt here. We can- 
 not muster many volumes yet, and some of those are contrived 
 by sewing tracts together. Tailor and I have been very busy 
 making elegant covers out of bits of coloured paper. We greatly 
 want some baby lectures on astronomy for our school. I am 
 trying at them, but it is a tough job, because, first of all, I am a 
 dunce myself, and next I have very few astronomical books, and 
 those — such as Mrs. Somerville, Herschel, &c. — not suitable. 
 All the elementary books are translated from English lesson- 
 books, and are altogether out of the comprehension of the natives 
 — not so much above them as different from them — expressed in 
 terms which they cannot understand, from being completely un- 
 like their own manner of thinking and explaining. 
 
 February 22nd. — This is now the Indian spring. The garden 
 is in full flower, and the scent of the orange-blossoms and 
 tube roses quite fills the room as I sit with the windows open ; 
 
let. xvii.] INDIAN SPRING. 85 
 
 but it is beginning to grow very hot : the thermometer is at 90° 
 in the middle of the day, but I do not find it so oppressive as at 
 Madras ; the air is much fresher and clearer. Dr. Stewart ad- 
 vises me not to remain here after the middle of the month, so on 
 
 the 16th we are all to go to Samuldavee. A will settle 
 
 baby and me there, and then he must return by himself, I am 
 sorry to say, to his hot Court. We shall probably be obliged to 
 remain on the coast about four months, but he will be able to 
 shut up the Court and come to us for one month, and occasion- 
 ally at other times from Saturday till Monday. 
 
 
LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xviii. 
 
 LETTER THE EIGHTEENTH. 
 
 March 8th. 
 I am very busy now, translating a story with my little squinny 
 Moonshee. Moonshee chuckles over it, and enters into much 
 conversation about it. 
 
 M. — Your honour has in this your handiwork taken much 
 trouble to bring together arl things prarper ! 
 
 I. — Because everybody ought to know those things, Moon- 
 shee. 
 
 M. — Those are from your honour's Shasters.* My people 
 also have Shasters and Vedas ; are not those the true words of 
 God? 
 
 /. — They are not true ; they tell to worship idols. Now you 
 know very well, Moonshee, that those idols are only wood and 
 stone ; you do not believe them to be really gods. 
 
 M. — I know very well— piece of stone — nothing at arl. "What 
 enlightened person thinks them to be God? — No Bramin, no 
 Moonshee will think — but idols are of necessity for arl carmon 
 people. 
 
 jT. — Now you see we can know those Vedas to be lie, because, 
 if they were words of truth, they would not tell you to make lie 
 to anybody, common people or Bramins. 
 
 M. — Ah, ha ! But if not the words of God, who did make 
 write the Vedas ? No man could write, therefore God write. 
 
 I. — Some Bramins, a great many years ago, wrote. 
 
 M. — No any Bramins ; Vedas are written in the Devinagree — 
 the most holy Sanscrit — the language spoken by the planets. 
 What man could write ? 
 
 I. — Now could not write ; but formerly the Devinagree was 
 common language : Bramins could write very well. 
 
 M. — Will your honour tell me, is not Devinagree the language 
 of the planets ? 
 
 * Holy books. 
 
Lirr. xviii.] KELIGIOUS DISCUSSION. 87 
 
 Upon this I gave him a touch of astronomy, and told him what 
 astronomers could see with their telescopes, so as to know for 
 certain that the astronomical legends in the Vedas are not true. 
 Then he went off into a metaphysical disquisition on the nature 
 of God, which I would not answer further than that man could 
 know nothing of God but what he is pleased to reveal. Then 
 he wanted to know why God had not taught all men to speak the 
 same language, so that all might profit by each other's knowledge. 
 I told him the history of the Tower of Babel, which he liked 
 very much, except that he was disappointed at my not knowing 
 how many cubits high they had raised it. He had been educated 
 at a Dissenting Mission school, but left it almost as ignorant as 
 he entered it. He thought that the Bible had been written in 
 English, and that that was an argument against it, English being 
 a modern language. He was charmed at the sight of some He- 
 brew and Greek, which he had never heard of. He supposed 
 that our Saviour had come to England about a hundred years 
 ago, just when the English first came to India ; and, when 
 set right upon that, he argued that, if God had meant the Hin- 
 doos to receive the Bible, He would have sent some teachers to 
 India when Jesus Christ came into the world. So then I told 
 him about the first preachers, the Black Jews, the Syrian 
 Christians, &c. He said, M Will your honour not be angry if 
 I ask one question, and will honour ma'am tell me that ques- 
 tion ? " " If I know I will tell, and I will not be angry." 
 " Certainly no any anger upon me ? " " Certainly not." " Then 
 I would ask your honour, suppose any Europe lady or gentleman 
 make much wickedness — never repent — never ask pardon of God 
 — never think of Jesus Christ, but die in committing sin ; what 
 will become of then. ? " " They will go to hell." " What ! 
 Europe lady or gentleman ? " " Certainly." Then he went on 
 to tell me all about the transmigration of souls, which he said 
 was a great advantage in his religion, for that going to hell was 
 " very offensive." Then he told me a long story. " If your 
 honour will listen to me, I shall make you sensible how it con- 
 sists. One man had ten sons, and to his sons he gave rules. But 
 those sons arl ispeak different languages ; therefore he allow them 
 take the rules every one in his own language, which may suit 
 him best : is it not so ? " 
 
88 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. mil. 
 
 I. — Now, Moonshee, I will tell you how it consists. One 
 man had ten sons, and to all he gave rules — same rules, under- 
 stand. Those sons speak different languages, therefore he allowed 
 them to translate the rules each into his own language, but always 
 same rules. One son tell, " My father give too many rules ; I 
 don't want : " so that son throw away half his father's rules. 
 Another son tell, " Don't like some of these rules ; myself I 
 shall make :" so that son change half his father's rules. Another 
 son tell, " I will keep my father's rules ; neither add nor take 
 away." Which son best, Moonshee? He answered with his 
 usual " Ah, ah ! " and looked very cunning. I tried to per- 
 suade him to read the Bible, but he said it was too much trouble. 
 I do not think these natives have the slightest notion of there 
 being any beauty or advantage in truth. They think one way is 
 good for them, and one way good for us. They are very fond 
 of metaphysical subtleties, which at first makes one fancy them 
 very acute, but one soon sees that they have no power of per- 
 ceiving the real state of an argument. They are always caught 
 and pleased with a cavil, when a reason has no effect upon them ; 
 but what they like best of all is any illustration or parable. That 
 seems to be their own manner of reasoning. I do not suppose 
 they ever have much real conversation with each other — mere 
 chatter and gossip. They seem to have no pleasure in associating 
 with each other on terms of equality. Everybody has a tail, 
 consisting of poor followers, flappers, and flatterers. The head 
 feeds the tail, and the tail flatters the head ; and plenty of 4 ' soft 
 sawder " seems to be in use. When head walks abroad, tail walks 
 after him at a respectful distance. If head stands still to smoke 
 his cheroot, tail, who has no cheroot, stands still and looks ad- 
 miringly at him. If head condescends to make an observation, 
 tail crosses his hands, bows, assents, and remarks what a wonder- 
 fully wise man head is ! 
 
 The other day we happened to tell the post-office writer that 
 the officers were coming to dine with us, and that we did not 
 want him to go and peer out all the gossip concerning them, 
 which he had offered to do, like an obliging jackal. " Sar," said 
 he, " very great charity, indeed, sar !" " Charity !" exclaimed 
 I, rather astonished. " Ma'am ! too much great charity, in- 
 deed, ma'am ! — but Master very charitable gentleman ; always 
 
let. xviii.] GOVERNMENT CIRCULAR. 89 
 
 give bread to gentlemen passing through. Last Judge, when 
 anybody pass by, Judge too much sick — gentlemen go 'way, 
 Judge too much well again ! " 
 
 A Government circular is just come to all the Zillah Judges, 
 to inform them that " the Right Honourable the Governor in 
 Council " has been considering the best means of facilitating the 
 re-apprehension of prisoners who have escaped from confinement ; 
 and it has occurred to him that it would answer the purpose to 
 make them always wear a dress of some particular colour or 
 material, by which they might be easily identified. — The inno- 
 cent bird ! He must have kept his eyes in his pocket ever since 
 he landed, not to know by this time that the natives strip off 
 their clothes as soon as they are alone, or at work, or running ; 
 and, most certainly, runaway prisoners would not remain in full 
 dress merely for the purpose of being identified. 
 
 To-day's Gazette brings word that Government have just 
 issued their orders that " no salutes to idols be discontinued, but 
 that all respect be paid to the native religions as heretofore." 
 Is not this disgraceful ? A fortnight ago, at a Mohammedan 
 festival at Trichinopoly, the European troops — Artillery-men 
 — were kept exposed to the sun for nine hours, firing salutes, 
 and " showing respect" to Mohammed. 
 
 The Government lately presented a shawl to a Hindoo idol, 
 and the Government officer, Mr. D., with whom we are ac- 
 quainted, was ordered to superintend the delivery of it. He does 
 not pretend to be a religious man — a mere commonplace, hunt- 
 ing, card-playing dandy ; but even he was disgusted at having 
 such an office to perform ; so he went with the shawl in his ton- 
 jon, and told the Bramins they might come and take it, for that 
 he would not touch it with his own fingers, to present it to a 
 Svvamy. At the same place the Swamy was making a progress 
 in its car, and the officiating Bramin came and told Mr. D. 
 that it had stopped at a certain point for want of sufficient 
 offerings ; so Mr. D. went to see about it, and found that they 
 had stuck a wedge under the wheel, which prevented its going 
 on. He had the wedge knocked out, and gave orders that Swamy 
 must arrive at his destination without delay, before all the poor 
 offerers were ruined, or the cholera broke out, as generally 
 happens at these horrid feasts, from the concourse of people, 
 
90 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xviii. 
 
 dirt, &c. In consequence of all this, Mr. D. was much blamed 
 and reprehended at Madras, for haying caused the feast to be 
 hurried over more quickly than the Bramins liked. The cars 
 are drawn by men, and very often these men are unwilling to 
 leave their work for the service, and the Bramins cannot catch 
 as many as they want ; so the Government order the Collector 
 to take unwilling men by force, and make them drag the car. 
 
 I believe that, if idolatry were merely tolerated and protected, 
 the idol services would fall almost to nothing, from the indiffer- 
 ence of the mass of the people; but our Christian Government 
 not only support and encourage it, but force it down the people's 
 throats. They have made a law that a Heathen Sepoy may not 
 /be flogged, but a Christian Sepoy may. If a Sepoy turns 
 Christian, he is subject to a punishment which they are pleased to 
 say would degrade a Heathen or a Mohammedan. 
 
 March 20th. — We are going to Samuldavee on Friday, and 
 we had a grand giving away of prizes at the school, by way of 
 taking leave. Every boy with a certain number of tickets had 
 a prize, and they took their choice of the articles, according to 
 their proficiency. First boy took first choice, and so on. The 
 favourite goods were English books, particularly Grammars. 
 Next, the tracts with woodcuts, which you sent me. I had had 
 them bound, so that they looked very respectable, and those 
 wretched woodcuts were wonderfully admired. I gave one tract 
 to the butler's " volunteer," a Gomashta, who writes his accounts 
 for him, in hopes " Master " will admire his talents and give 
 him the next vacant post. The Peons admired the tract so much, 
 that they intercepted it by the way, and they sit in a circle by 
 the hour together, pawing and stroking the frontispiece, and 
 Volunteer explaining the meaning to them. 
 
 There have been many more applications for admission to the 
 school again, and one learned old Moonshee has sent two sons, 
 which is a great compliment. The boys, in fact, only wish to 
 learn English in hopes of making money by it, obtaining places 
 in Court, &c. ; but they have no love of knowledge for its own 
 
 sake. A gave them a i History of the World ' in Gen too, 
 
 and desired them to read it, and answer questions from it ; but 
 they brought it back, saying they did not want to know any- 
 thing that was in it, they only wanted to learn " vords." So 
 
lkt. xviii.] INVITATIONS TO OFFICERS. 91 
 
 then they were reproached with the attainments of parrots, minas, 
 and such-like, till they looked very sheepish, and promised they 
 would " get plenty sense." 
 
 We have a young officer staying with us now, who is to keep 
 A company while I am on the coast. He is a nice, inno- 
 cent, good-natured boy, and as tame as can be. He has brought 
 a cat and two kittens with him all the way from Bangalore, 
 upwards of four hundred miles, and in the evenings he brings 
 them into the drawing-room to pay me a visit and drink some 
 milk, and he sits quite contentedly with them crawling up his 
 great knees, and sticking their claws info him, just like Frank 
 and our old cat at home. He has had six jews'-harps sent him by 
 a brother in England, and he performs Scotch jigs upon them by 
 way of " a little music ;" and in the morning, when I go to lie 
 down before dinner, he sits with Moonshee, keeping him to his 
 work, and explaining matters to him. I hope he will be a plea- 
 sant companion for the " Master," while I am obliged to be 
 away. 
 
 A has invited one or two" other very young officers, but I 
 
 do not know yet whether they will come or not. Those " boys" 
 are very remiss about answering invitations ; sometimes I do not 
 know whether one of them means to accept an invitation or not, 
 till he makes his appearance at the time appointed, bowing and 
 smiling, with a ring and a gold chain, quite unconscious that he 
 has not been the very pink of politeness. 
 
92 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. ("let. xix. 
 
 LETTER THE NINETEENTH. 
 
 Samuldavee, March 26th. 
 Here we are, safely arrived and established for the summer. 
 The baby and I were beginning to be so ill with the heat at 
 
 Rajahmundry, that A brought us away in a hurry, and 
 
 settled us here with Peons and servants, and is gone back him- 
 self this evening. He means to come every Saturday and stay 
 till Monday, unless any particular business should prevent him. 
 This is a most charming place — the thermometer eight degrees 
 lower than at Rajahmundry, and at present a fine sea breeze 
 from eleven in the morning till eleven at night, and a thick 
 cocoa-nut tope between our house and the land-wind, so that I 
 hope we never shall feel it in all its fury. I do not suppose 
 there is a healthier or pleasanter summer place in all this part 
 of India. Its only fault is its extreme loneliness. This is a 
 solitary house on the shore of an estuary ; not even a native 
 village or hut near; forty miles from the nearest European 
 station— Masulipatam ; and no English people at all within 
 reach, except the two Missionaries at Narsapoor, ten miles off. 
 I have no one ever to speak to, but my own Hindoo servants. 
 I mean to amuse myself with learning Gentoo, and have brought 
 a Moonshee with me. Gentoo is the language of this part of 
 the country, and one of the prettiest of all the dialects, but there 
 is nothing very fine or beautiful in any of them. The idioms 
 are quite disagreeable ; they have neither simplicity nor finesse. 
 I believe the old Sanscrit is a very fine language, but it is ex- 
 cessively difficult, and would be of no use to me. The Moon- 
 shee I have brought with me is not the little talkative magpie 
 who told me about the language of the planets, but a very slow, 
 sober, solemn gentleman, with a great turn for reading and sen- 
 tentious observations. Whenever I keep him waiting, he reads 
 my books. The other day he got hold of a Church Prayer 
 Book, which he began to read straight through — Dedication, 
 
let. xix.] MONKEYS— JACKALS. 93 
 
 Calendar, and all. He told me that he perceived it was a very- 
 scarce and valuable work, but that he would take great care of 
 it, if my honour would grant him permission to read it at his 
 own house, which of course my honour was very willing to do. 
 He admires it greatly, and says, " Ah ! good words ! very fine 
 words !" — but he says he thinks a man must have " a very puri- 
 fied mind to be capable of using those prayers." He says he 
 much wishes to read our Shasters, so I am going to give him a 
 Gen too Bible as soon as I can get one from Madras. 
 
 April 2nd. — To-day I have had a specimen of the kind of 
 company I am likely to see at Samuldavee. Three wild mon- 
 keys came to take a walk round the house and peep in at the 
 windows: they were the first I had seen, and very fine creatures 
 — what the natives call "first-caste monkeys," not little wizen 
 imps like live mummies, such as we see in England, but real 
 handsome wild beasts. They were of a kind of greenish-grey 
 colour, with black faces and long tails, and their coats as sleek 
 as a race-horse's. They were as large as calves, and as slim as 
 greyhounds. They bounded about most beautifully, and at last 
 darted with one spring to the top of a rock ten feet high, and 
 sat there like gentlemen taking the breeze and talking politics. 
 
 In the jungle behind our cocoa-nut tope there are clumps of 
 prickly-pear, sixteen or eighteen feet high, and tribes of jackals 
 sitting playing with their young ones on the turf — very pretty 
 graceful creatures, like large foxes. I have found many shells 
 on the beach, but I am afraid they are not good for much. They 
 were, however, all alive, taking their evening walk, when I met 
 them, taking mine. I set some boys to dig in the sand, but they 
 brought me nothing but broken mussels and cockles. 
 
 April 23rd. — We are very comfortable here, and the Master 
 pays us his visit once a-week. Moonshee comes every day, and 
 I potter a little at my Gentoo ; but I have not learnt much. I 
 do not work very hard, and no Moonshee has any idea of teach- 
 ing, but I just pick his brains a little by way of amusement. 
 He is a Bramin, and, like all of them, very fond of questioning 
 and discoursing. He has now read my Prayer Book straight 
 through from beginning to end, and with great admiration ; but 
 he says the finest words in the book are " Maker of all things 
 visible and invisible ;" those, he says, are " very great words 
 
94 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xix 
 
 indeed." Now he is reading the Bible. He told me that a 
 learned Bramin came to pay him a visit and to look over his 
 new Bible. The Bramin said that all the words against graven 
 images were " good and very true words," and that it was cer- 
 tainly a " senseless custom" for a man to bow down to a stone ; 
 but that still it was necessary to keep images for the Sudras (low- 
 caste people), for fear they should not believe in any God at all. 
 That is their constant argument. They never defend their idols, 
 nor own that they worship them, any more than Roman Catholics 
 will allow that they worship the saints. Moonshee says there is 
 one particular tribe of Bramins who keep a sabbath, and it is on 
 the same day as our Sunday ; so it seems like a Christian tra- 
 dition, as the Jews' sabbath was on a Saturday. He thinks it is 
 kept in honour of Kistna, but he says it is only a custom, and 
 not commanded in the Shasters. 
 
 April 24th. — In one of my letters I told you about a bad Ze- 
 mindar who would not pay his debts, and A threatened to 
 
 send a battalion against him. Upon this the Zemindar sent a 
 very polite message with a tray-full of oranges, and a request 
 that his honour the Judge would keep much favour upon him, 
 and look upon him as his own son ! But his Honour was ex- 
 tremely indignant, and returned the tray of oranges, with an 
 answer, that he would hold no intercourse with him till the debt 
 was paid. The returning a present which may be accepted is 
 the greatest possible affront, and it hurt the Zemindar's feelings 
 so much, that he immediately sent another message to say that, 
 rather than in any way displease Master's honour, and have his 
 oranges refused, he would pay his debt. Master's honour 
 thought he had gained the day, but the cunning old fellow de- 
 spatched a party of his ragamuffins to make an attack on the Go- 
 vernment treasury in the next district, and seize money enough to 
 pay his debts here. However, the thieves were detected and 
 defeated, so there the matter rests for the present, and we do 
 not yet know which will win. 
 
 In my tonjon yesterday I passed a large old tree, inhabited by 
 a family of monkeys — father, mother, and children of all ages. 
 
 Don, A 's dog, who was with me, was in a perfect fury to 
 
 get hold of them, sitting upon his hind legs, and whining with 
 agony. The monkeys were in a rage too, but they were very 
 
LET. XIX. ] 
 
 MONKEYS. 
 
 95 
 
 clever. The old father hunted his wife and children up the 
 tree, on to one of the high branches ; and when he had seen 
 them safe where they could only peep out and grin, he came 
 down again himself, and stood at the edge of a dancing bough, 
 chattering, grinning, and evidently trying to provoke Don — 
 taking excellent care, however, to keep out of harm's way him- 
 self — and sneering, till poor Don was so wild with fury, that I 
 was obliged to have him tied up and led away. 
 
 'V Of THE ^~ 
 
 u^iversit?: 
 
96 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xx. 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTIETH. 
 
 June 22nd. 
 I hear that the river is come down at Rajahmundry, and I wish 
 that, like Johnny Gilpin, I had " been there to see," for the 
 manner in which these Indian rivers come down is very grand. 
 When I came away it was one bed of sand, except a narrow stream 
 just in the middle. 
 
 A had made the prisoners dig some channels for the con- 
 venience of the neighbourhood, but they had all gradually dried 
 up, and the poor people had to go nearly a mile over the bed of the 
 river to draw water from the middle stream, and the heat and 
 glare from the sand were almost intolerable. But one morning 
 last week he was looking out of the window, and he saw one of 
 his little channels suddenly filled, and the water presently spread 
 as if it was being poured into the channel. In the course of six 
 hours the river was quite full from bank to bank, eighteen feet 
 deep and two miles broad, and rushing along like the Rhone. 
 There will now be no more of the very hot weather. Here, at 
 Samuldavee, there has been no really intolerable heat ; but at 
 Rajahmundry A had the thermometer at 100° in our draw- 
 ing-room, notwithstanding watered tatties and every ^precaution. 
 With us it has not been above 92°, and that only for a few days ; 
 generally 86° and a sea-breeze. I find the wind makes much 
 more difference in one's feelings than the heat itself : 90°, with a 
 sea-breeze, is far less oppressive than a much lower temperature 
 with a land-wind. 
 
 Mr. and Mrs. Beer (one of the Narsapoor Missionaries and 
 his wife) spent a day with me last week. He said they had been 
 " very dull of late ; " that the people seemed to have satisfied 
 their curiosity, and now never came near them ; and that they 
 had not seen a single instance of a wish really to know or inquire 
 into the truth — only mere curiosity. That is the great difficulty 
 with these poor natives ; they have not the slightest idea of the 
 
let. xx.] QUAINT TRANSLATIONS. 97 
 
 value and advantage of truth. No one in England knows the 
 difficulty of making any impression upon them. The best means 
 seems to be education, because false notions of science form one 
 great part of their religion. Every belief of theirs is inter- 
 woven with some matter of religion ; and if once their scientific 
 absurdities are overthrown, a large portion of their religion goes 
 with them, and there seems more likelihood of shaking their faith 
 in the remainder. 
 
 Our school goes on nicely and keeps full. The children learn 
 what we bid them, and read the Bible, and give an account of 
 what they read, just as they might in England — but it makes no 
 impression : they look upon it as a mere English lesson. They 
 know that the Bible is our Shaster, and suppose it to be as good 
 for us, as their own Shasters are for them. Moonshee reads and 
 studies the Bible, and often brings it to have passages explained. 
 He says he believes all the " good words " against idolatry, but 
 that the worship of any of the superior invisible beings is not 
 idolatry, only the worship of graven images and demons. He 
 was reading the story of Cain, and he supposed that the repri- 
 mand to Cain, " If thou doest well, shall it not be accepted," &c, 
 was on account of his following " such a mean trade " as tilling 
 the ground. 
 
 I have just been arranging some questions and answers for the 
 school, and setting Moonshee to translate them. They were, of 
 course, the most thorough a, b, c alfairs possible ; but Moonshee 
 said they were " deep words," and his misunderstood translations 
 were considerably quaint. For instance : " Water is a. fluid" he 
 translated so as to mean "Water is a. juice" "Is it a simple 
 substance ? " — " Is it a soft concern ?" " The sun is much larger 
 than the earth ; " — " Sun is a far greater man than earth : " 
 &c, &c. 
 
 July 9th. — We have had some very bad weather for the last 
 week ; furious land-wind, very fatiguing and weakening. We 
 were scarcely ever able to leave the house either morning or 
 evening, as the wind lasted all the twenty-four hours. Every- 
 thing was so dried up, that, when I attempted to walk a few 
 yards towards the beach, the grass crunched under my feet like 
 snow. I have taken a good many beautiful butterflies, and 
 Moonshee often brings me insects. He will not kill them, being 
 
 H 
 
98 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xx. 
 
 a man of too high caste to take away the life even of a flea ; of 
 which the fleas, con rispetto, take great advantage, and hop about 
 on his shawls and embroidery in a way that is apt to make me 
 very uneasy. I told him, for fear he should hurt his caste or his 
 conscience, that, if he collected insects for me, I should kill them 
 and send them to Europe, and therefore he had better not bring 
 them if he wished them to be preserved alive ; but after a good 
 deal of hesitation he came to the conclusion that it would be no 
 sin in him to connive at taking away life, provided he himself did 
 not commit murder. 
 
 I have a good many native visitors here. They like coming 
 
 to me when A is out of the way, in hopes that, when they 
 
 can discourse to me alone, they will make me believe they are 
 very clever, and that my private influence may persuade " Mas- 
 ter " to think the same, and then perhaps he will turn out some 
 one else to give them places. They sit and boast about themselves 
 till they are enough to make anybody sick ; and after having 
 given me a catalogue of all their talents and virtues — which are 
 all lies, or ought to be, for very often their boasts are of their own 
 cleverness in cheating and oppressing their countrymen in order 
 to obtain money for Government, squinnying cunningly at me 
 the whole time, to see if I look as if I believe them — they put up 
 their hands like the old knights on the monuments, and whine 
 out, " Missis Honour, please recommend Master keep plenty 
 favour upon me : I too much clover man ! " 
 
 Moonshee asked me to-day whether the Governor of Madras 
 was really the wisest man in England. He supposed that the 
 Governors were always picked out for being the wisest men that 
 could be found in the country. 
 
 June 22nd. — The other day some of the villagers came to me 
 to make a complaint that one of our Peons had taken up goods in 
 our name, and never paid for them. Of course, I scolded the 
 Peon. Yesterday he brought me a petition addressed to " Your 
 worshipful Honour," setting forth that it was the poor peti- 
 tioner's opinion that, " when any gentleman come to this place 
 for cool breeze, it is the duty of the villagers to give the gentle- 
 man's servants everything they want, and he therefore hopes your 
 charitable honour will look upon him for the future as a most 
 innocent man." See what notions of honesty they have ! This 
 
let. xx.] A FALSE ALARM. 99 
 
 "injured innocence" had received the money from us to pay 
 everybody. But with all their badness, and all their laziness, there 
 is some good in them. If their master or mistress is in distress or 
 difficulty, they do not grudge any trouble or fatigue to help them. 
 
 Last Saturday I was in a great fright : A did not come, as 
 
 I expected, and I had not heard from him for two days. There 
 is no regular post to this remote place, so we have messengers of 
 our own to carry letters and parcels, and we send each other a 
 note every day to say that all is well ; for in a country like 
 this, where all attacks of illness are so frightfully rapid, we could 
 not be easy without hearing from day to day. But on Saturday 
 evening, as he neither came nor sent, I was quite frightened, 
 and thought he must certainly have the cholera and be too ill to 
 write, and that I must go and see after him immediately. Ac- 
 cordingly I despatched messengers to post bearers for me all 
 along the road, bade Moonshee write me a letter every day about 
 the baby, and in the evening I set out in a great bustle for Rajah- 
 mundry, attended for some miles by all the inhabitants of the 
 nearest villages, all shouting. I took the cheating Peon with 
 me, and told him that he was to go half-way, and then stop, and 
 send a chance village Peon on with me the other half, thinking 
 twenty-five miles quite enough for a man to run in one night ; 
 but he said he would rather go all the fifty miles himself, for that 
 he did not mind being tired, and should not be happy in trust- 
 ing the Mistress to the care of a strange Peon. However, after 
 
 I had gone about nine miles, I met the messengers with A 's 
 
 letters, which had only been delayed by the very common occur- 
 rence of the postmen being lazy ; — they were fast asleep by the 
 
 river-side when I met them : so, as A was quite well, and 
 
 only detained by some unfortunate visitor, I returned home again. 
 The bearers, Peons, and people whom I had scuffled half out of 
 their lives to get ready in time, all laughed very heartily ; buj I 
 was glad enough tbat it was only a laughing matter, and laughed 
 myself as they shouted with redoubled vigour all the way home. 
 
 h2 
 
100 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxi. 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-FIRST. 
 
 Samuldavee, July 10th, 1838. 
 There are large snakes here, seven feet long, and as thick as my 
 arm, not poisonous, but I always have them killed, neverthe- 
 less ; for they are horrible creatures, and, even if they are not 
 poisonous, no doubt they are something bad : I have no respect 
 for any snakes. But, worse than snakes, scorpions, centipedes, 
 and even land-wind, are the green bugs. Fancy large flying 
 bugs ! they do not bite, but they scent the air for yards around. 
 When there is no wind at night, they fly round and get into 
 one's clothes and hair — horrible ! there is nothing I dislike so 
 much in India as those green bugs. The first time I was aware 
 of their disgusting existence, one flew down my shoulders, and 
 I, feeling myself tickled, and not knowing the danger, unwit- 
 tingly crushed it. I shall never forget the stench as long as I 
 live. The ayah undressed me as quickly as she could, almost 
 without my knowing what she was doing, for I was nearly in a 
 fit. You have no notion of anything so horrible ! I call the 
 land-wind, and the green bugs, the " Oriental luxuries." 
 
 You ask about the Thugs. They are a class of natives who 
 live entirely by murder ; they bring up their children to it, and 
 initiate them by degrees — they feel no shame nor compunction ; 
 they strangle their victims and take all their property. They 
 pretend that they look upon their horrid profession as commanded 
 by some particular goddess, as her service ; but I do not believe 
 it. I think they mystify people about their religious obligations 
 in order to lessen the horror, and get off \#hen examined. I 
 believe their offerings and sacrifices are intended as expiations, 
 not as propitiations : the worst of these heathens have sufficient 
 light of natural conscience to understand and allow their duty to 
 man, 
 
 Cocanada, August 10th. — Finding the weather cool again, 
 we started from Samuldavee about a fortnight, ago, and made a 
 
let. xxi.] BLACK BUGS. 101 
 
 little tour of five days along the coast in our way hither. It was 
 " plenty hot" though, in some of the places we passed through. 
 We went to one place, Amlapoor, where A— had to settle a 
 dispute between a Moonsiff, or native Judge, and some of his 
 clerks. The clerks wanted to make out that the Moonsiff had 
 taken bribes and committed other enormities. They came to 
 
 our bungalow to tell their histories, and A > said that he 
 
 must go to their Cutcherry (or office) to examine all the papers, 
 and that he should bring with him two ears, and give one ear to 
 the Moonsiff and the other to the clerks. This obliging promise 
 was quite satisfactory ; but the result was that the clerks' ear 
 heard nothing but falsehoods, and the poor Moonsiff was honour- 
 ably acquitted, and the clerks pronounced to be rascals. I 
 was glad of it, because I always thought the Moonsiff a very 
 innocent pains-taking creature, and he has been worried quite 
 thin by his clerks, and would have been dismissed from his post 
 
 if A had not sifted the stories. He came to see me after 
 
 his trial was over, looking so pleased and so happy that for a 
 minute I did not know him again, he had appeared so careworn 
 a few hours before. I dare say, next time I see him he will be 
 as fat as a porpoise. 
 
 We spent one day at a former Dutch settlement, Nellapilly 
 and Yanam. It was really quite a pleasure to see a place so 
 neat : the poor Dutchmen had planted avenues, made tidy village 
 greens, chopped the prickly -pears into shape, clipped the hedges, 
 built white walls, and altogether changed the look of the country. 
 They had raised their old-fashioned houses quite high above the 
 ground, as if for fear of the Dutch fens, and made little brick 
 walks and terraces in the gardens, with water-channels on each 
 side to drain them ! In short, they had contrived with great 
 ingenuity every possible unappropriateness that could be devised. 
 
 We paid a pleasant visit of a few days to our friends the 
 
 L s, whom we found comfortably established in their Collec- 
 
 torate, and objecting to nothing but the black bugs. These are 
 not so horrible as the green ones, but bad enough, and in im- 
 mense swarms. One very calm night the house was so full of 
 them, that the dinner- table was literally covered with them. 
 We were obliged to have all the servants fanning us with sepa- 
 rate fans besides the punkah, and one man to walk round the table 
 
102 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxi. 
 
 with a dessert spoon and a napkin to take them off our shoulders. 
 
 Except Mr. S , who contrived to be hungry, we gave up all 
 
 idea of eating our dinner ; we could not even stay in the house, 
 but sat all the evening on the steps of the verandah, playing the 
 guitar. 
 
 Rajahmundry, August 16th. — Here we are at home again ; 
 but on our arrival, instead of resting quietly, we found an unin- 
 vited visitor established in the house to be entertained for several 
 days — altogether one of the coolest and least ceremonious persons 
 
 I ever saw. He was lame ; so A one evening lent him his 
 
 horse out of good nature, and always afterwards Mr. took 
 
 the horse without asking any leave, and A was obliged to 
 
 walk all the time he was pleased to stay. One day A made, 
 
 in his hearing, an appointment with another person to ride to a 
 particular spot next day : " Oh, no," said our guest, " you can't 
 go to-morrow, for I am going there myself, and I shall want the 
 horse ! " When at last, to my great joy, he took himself off, he 
 left, without asking leave, all his luggage in our only spare room, 
 to wait till he should like to come back again — without any 
 invitation ! 
 
 August 31st. — The present commanding officer here, and his 
 
 wife, Captain and Mrs. C , are pleasant people, young and 
 
 Irish, and well-mannered. She is very Irish, however — lets her 
 tame goats run in and out of the house as they please, and break 
 all the crockery. I sent her some fruit twice in plates, and 
 both times she sent back the plates broken, with notes to say 
 how shocked and confounded she was, but that " the goats had 
 set their feet in them." 
 
 Our school is going on nicely ; and while we were at Cocanada 
 
 A taught one of the Collector's assistants there how to set 
 
 up a school, and supplied him with books ; and I hope there 
 will soon be a good one at that station also. 
 
 When we came home I found that all . the time I was away 
 the poor old sergeant was busy raising flowers for me. He sent 
 me most beautiful balsams and roses. Also the Mooftee sent 
 me a present of a talc fan, in return for which I have sent 
 Mrs. Mooftee some heart pincushions, which I hope she will 
 admire. 
 
 We hear that the M s are going home overland in January. 
 
let. xxi."l HILL COOLIES. 103 
 
 Everybody is very sorry to lose Sir P . Even those who do 
 
 not care for religious matters have found the advantage of having 
 an upright and just man over them. 
 
 Here is a story of the encouragement given to idolatry, which 
 I know to be true ; it took place about six weeks ago. A Col- 
 lector happened to inquire the destination of a sum of money he 
 was required to disburse. He found it was for a grand cere- 
 mony, performed by the order and at the expense of Government, 
 in honour of a particular idol. On making further inquiries he 
 found that the natives had requested to be allowed to take a part 
 of the ceremony and the expense upon themselves, but Govern- 
 ment said No, they would do it all. Besides this, he learned 
 that some years ago this wicked feast was first established : it 
 was afterwards discontinued for ten years without the slightest 
 murmur or symptom of discontent from the natives ; and within 
 the last two or three years it has been revived by the Govern- 
 ment, and entirely kept up by them. 
 
 The Collector represented all this at head-quarters (I saw a 
 copy of his letter), petitioning that the natives might be allowed 
 to conduct their feast without English interference, and showing 
 how utterly gratuitous it was, from the proof that the ceremonies 
 had gone on for ten years without the English having anything 
 to do with the matter ; but he was assured that Government 
 thought it would be dangerous and inexpedient to make any 
 alteration, and that the feast must be carried on in behalf of the 
 English, as usual. 
 
 September 21st. — Have you heard of the Cooly Trade? 
 "Emigration of Hill Coolies to the Mauritius" it is called, and 
 divers other innocent-sounding names. In case you should ever 
 hear anything said in its favour, this is the real state of the case. 
 It is neither more nor less than an East Indian Slave-Trade — 
 just as wicked as its predecessor, the African Slave-Trade. It 
 
 is encouraged by Lord G , who ought to have inquired more 
 
 before he gave his countenance to such horrors. These Coolies 
 are shipped off by thousands from all parts of India to the 
 colonies, instead of Negroes. Twenty- one thousand are said to 
 have been sent from Pondicherry only ; for though Pondicherry 
 is a French settlement, the Coolies were shipped for our colonies. 
 Numbers are kidnapped, and all are entrapped and persuaded 
 
104 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxi. 
 
 under false pretences. They are " as ignorant as dirt," do not 
 even know that they are quitting the Company's dominions, and 
 meanwhile their families are left to starve. There is now danger 
 of a famine, from the large number of cultivators who have been 
 taken away. They are so ill-treated by their new masters that 
 few even live to come back, and those who do bring with them 
 the marks of the same cruelties and floggings that we used to 
 hear of among the slaves. As the importation is legal, of course 
 all the throwings overboard and atrocities of the Middle Passage 
 cannot take place ; but there are great horrors from stowing 
 numbers in too small a space on board ship. Many die, and 
 many more have their health ruined. There is a great deal 
 of verbiage in the Government newspapers about the Coolies 
 " carrying their labour to the best market," and so on : but the 
 fact is, these poor creatures are far too ignorant and stupid to 
 have any sense or choice in the matter. Some slave-agent tells 
 them they are to go — and they go : they know nothing about it. 
 A Hindoo does not know how to make a choice ; — it is an effort 
 of mind quite beyond any but the very highest and most educated 
 among them. Gentlemen's native servants are very superior in 
 sense to those poor wild Coolies ; but once or twice I have, quite 
 innocently, puzzled and distressed some of our servants exceed- 
 ingly, by giving them their choice about some affair that con- 
 cerned only themselves: they have gone away and pined and 
 cried for two or three hours, or sometimes days, and then come 
 back and begged that " Missis Honour would please make order, 
 for they did not know what to do." 
 
 I long to see my kaleidoscopes and all the school rewards you 
 
 have sent me. A has an idea that we might manage to set 
 
 up a little Europe shop in tke Rajahmundry bazaar, to be 
 managed by a native who would be paid by us. He thinks they 
 would be so pleased by books, pictures, and conundrums of 
 various sorts, that one might thereby introduce useful things 
 " di nascosto ;" but I fear it is impracticable, because they are 
 so silly and so suspicious, that they would fancy w r e were trading 
 and making money by it. We have the two first classes of our 
 
 school now every Saturday evening at our own house, as A 
 
 finds he can instruct them better by that means. Our school- 
 master has taught them to read and write, but lie is not capable 
 
let. xxi.J PROSPECT OF A WAR. 105 
 
 of anything more ; so now we send a Moonshee three times 
 a-week to teach them some " sense." They are now busy upon 
 a * History of the World/ which is very good learning for 
 them. 
 
 September 26th. — It is now a great native holiday for the 
 Dussera, a Hindoo feast. Here is a proof of how much they 
 care about their feasts. There is always a holiday in the Courts 
 for a week during the Dussera, and the Pundit, who is the prin- 
 cipal Hindoo in the Court, and a Bramin of very high caste, 
 sent to ask whether he might be excused from taking the holiday, 
 because his work was in arrears, and he did not care for the feast. 
 Of course, it would not be fair to let his underlings lose their 
 holiday because he had been lazy and not done his work ; but it 
 shows how little stress they really lay upon these feasts, about 
 which the Government makes so much ado. 
 
 The old postmaster Bramin is now come to make salaam, and 
 inform us of an eclipse that will take place next week — a very- 
 frightful circumstance ; and the people are preparing their 
 drums, &c, " to frighten the giant, for who knows whether he 
 
 may not eat up the moon entirely ?" A is trying to explain 
 
 the matter to him, with the help of oranges and limes for the 
 moon and earth. How charmed he will be to see the astro- 
 nomical magic lantern ! 
 
 September 29th. — A thinks there is serious danger of a 
 
 war. The Russians have sent ten thousand men to help the 
 AfFghans against us, and we are at war with the Persians already. 
 Sir H. Fane, the Commander-in-Chief in Bengal, says that thirty 
 thousand men are necessary to conquer these combined Russians, 
 Persians, and AfFghans, and only five thousand are granted. 
 All the Indian politicians declare that nothing but our obtaining 
 a really sensible, energetic man as Governor-General can possibly 
 save India to us — such a one as the Marquis of Wellesley again. 
 Since I have been in India, and have seen the traces of his won- 
 derful wisdom, I have learnt to think him one of the first of 
 human geniuses. 
 
 October 1st. — We have had two visits lately from Mr. S , 
 
 the clergyman of L . He is to come to Rajahmundry once 
 
 a quarter. He is a good man, but has given offence by his 
 punctiliousness about minor matters, such as public baptism, &c. 
 
106 LETTERS FROM MADRAS, [let. xxr. 
 
 We have also been favoured with the company of a Mr. and 
 
 Mrs. G ; she is a bride, and as pretty and silly as any one 
 
 I ever saw. S seems to be the principal topic of conver- 
 sation in this division just now, so Mrs. G , like everybody 
 
 else, began to discuss him, and give her piccolissimo parere about 
 
 him. " I think Mr. S is very uncharitable — very much so. 
 
 He thinks it wrong for Missionaries to preach to the natives." 
 " Does he ?" said I, somewhat astounded : " why, I understood 
 that he particularly wished the Missionaries to confine their 
 preaching to the natives, instead of employing themselves among 
 
 the Europeans !" " Ah !" said Mrs. Gr , " very likely that 's 
 
 it : I know he thinks something wrong — he 's very uncharitable." 
 She discoursed also a good deal on literature and science, 
 chemistry and poetry, in a very innocent way, and I found she 
 was, by way of being " blue." But, you know, ladies who are 
 very blue are apt to be rather green. 
 
 October 5th. — Everybody had a holiday on the day of the 
 eclipse ; all the Bramins marched into the river to bathe and 
 sing while it lasted ; suck a clatter they made ! — An eclipse is a 
 signal for particular purification. There was an old Bramin 
 here in prison for debt ; he would not eat anything for fear of 
 
 defilement, and was literally starving himself to death. A 
 
 found that he could allow him to live in a separate house guarded 
 by Peons, and therefore removed him out of the jail, and now 
 the poor old creature has taken again to his food. The post- 
 office writer came to have a chat about the matter, as he gene- 
 rally does when there is any such trifle of news. I asked hirn 
 whether he did not think the Dewan a very foolish man to have 
 run the risk of killing himself rather than eat in a prison. — 
 " Yes," he said, " too much foolish ; but that man all same one 
 jungle beast — never been in one Government office, never read 
 the regulations !" They look upon employment in a Government 
 office as the height of human dignity, and strut to and from the 
 Court-house like so many turkey-cocks. 
 
 I hope we shall soon have a respite from uninvited company, 
 
 and be able to ask young Ch , whom we are both longing to 
 
 see ; but our house is a complete hotel for people we do not 
 care to see, and I know not a greater bore than " Indian hos- 
 pitality," as it is called by travellers. Some time ago there was 
 
let. xxi.] MISGOVERNMENT. 107 
 
 an order given to build a public bungalow at this place ; but the 
 Government changed their minds, and desired that none should 
 be built at the stations, " as the residents can always receive 
 travellers.'' This is mean enough, but all of a piece with the 
 rest of their proceedings. In order to save money, Lord W. 
 Bentinck reduced the army and sold the stores ; and now there 
 is a war beginning, and not soldiers enough to carry it on. They 
 are trying to raise regiments in a hurry, and find that all the 
 able-bodied men, who ought to be soldiers, have been shipped off 
 as slaves to the Mauritius. The Commanders-in-chief at the 
 three Presidencies are all going home, and the Governors can do 
 nothing without them : India is, in fact, governed by the private 
 secretaries, who are not responsible for the mischief they do, and 
 are often intent only on feathering their own nests and promoting 
 their young relations. Half the experienced men in the service 
 who really understand matters are kept in subordinate situations, 
 and young raw slips placed over their heads, to ride races and 
 try fancies, whilst the country is in the most dangerous con- 
 dition. 
 
 October 10th. — Moonshee has been telling me a long story 
 about snakes and giants eating up the moon, to account for the 
 eclipse : upon this he received a lecture about the shadow, and 
 so forth ; and he now informs me that he shall " futurely not 
 believe that giant." When the schoolboys came for their exa- 
 mination last Saturday we found that three or four had learnt 
 very well, and all the others nothing at all, for which Moon- 
 shee gave most excellent reasons : but upon a little cunning 
 inquiry we discovered that all those who had learnt gave Moon- 
 shee a little extra private pay, and that those who paid him 
 nothing were taught in proportion. The next process was, to 
 reprimand Moonshee, which being done, he informed me that 
 he should "futurely teach all the boys without parturition" 
 meaning — partiality. 
 
 Yesterday I had an old Bramin to play the tamboura and 
 sing to me. I was in hopes, if I heard a solo performance, I 
 might be able to make out some of their tunes undrowned by 
 their horribly discordant accompaniments. He sang one tolerably 
 pretty Hindostanee song, but was too stupid to sing it over again, 
 therefore I could not catch it. The national airs of this country 
 
108 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxi. 
 
 are remarkably ugly — like Spanish boleros, with a profusion of 
 caricature flourishes. 
 
 October 2ist. — To-day I had the delight of receiving your 
 most welcome packet of letters. You may imagine what rap- 
 tures I am in at hearing that Frank has gained the T 
 
 scholarship ! If I were but strong enough, I think I should 
 dance, just by way of effervescence ; as it is, I can only lie on 
 the sofa and grin ! I am exceedingly pleased. You are quite 
 right, though, in thinking that you had betrayed his intention 
 of trying for this scholarship. You tried to un-betray it after- 
 wards, and make me think there was nothing in your hints, — 
 but in vain ; I was too cunning for you ! I always knew he 
 was going up for it, and calculated that this very mail would 
 bring me the result. 
 
let. xxii.] SALE OF GRAIN. 109 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-SECOND. 
 
 Rajahmundry, October 31st, 1838. 
 Everything goes wrong — the overland post has been due this 
 fortnight— all our letters are detained at Alexandria— every body- 
 in a fume — nobody more so than I. The steamers are sent to 
 make war against the Persians instead of doing their proper 
 work— all the ships going on to China or Calcutta instead of to 
 London — and when I shall be able to send this letter, chi lo sa ? 
 The Bishop is arrived at Bangalore, within two hundred 
 miles of Madras, and is taken ill, so that he is detained there ; 
 but they say his illness is not dangerous. Every one who has 
 seen him likes him very much. We are all well here, only in a 
 fury for letters. There is a great deal of distress among the 
 natives, owing to the failure of the Monsoon, and a prospect of 
 great scarcity. Poor creatures ! they are so screwed by taxes, 
 higher than the land will fairly bear, that they never have a 
 farthing in hand. The natives and some of the European 
 officers want the magistrates to force the sale of grain, and the 
 grain-merchants want to hoard it. Some of the magistrates give 
 way, and sell off all the hoarded grain : the consequence is, that 
 the merchants decamp, there is no seed left for sowing, and what 
 
 was a scarcity becomes a famine. Other magistrates, A 
 
 for one, will not interfere with the sale of the grain, because they 
 have found, by much experience, that that method answers best ; 
 and it stands to reason that the merchants will bring the largest 
 supplies wherever they find the freest sale and the best protec- 
 tion. Captain Kelly, the commanding officer here, wants to 
 have the sale forced ; A will not allow it, and talks him- 
 self hoarse, all to no purpose, in trying to convince him that it 
 does not answer, and that the merchants have as good a right to 
 have their property in grain protected as in anything else. 
 Kelly always ends with "I cannot see that: /think they ought 
 to sell it ;" and Mrs. Kelly puts in her little word in confirma- 
 
MO LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxn. 
 
 tion, " I think they certainly ought to be made to." She has a 
 great idea of people being " made to." She is considerably 
 
 affronted because A will not fine or imprison the butcher 
 
 and baker till they give their meat and their bread at the prices 
 she thinks proper. He assures her in vain that he has no power 
 over that class of crimes, and also that in such a small station it 
 is not worth the people's while to serve us at the same prices as 
 in a large town with a certain sale and plenty of competition. 
 She still persists, " Hem ! with all that, I am sure it might be 
 done." There has been so much discussion about it all, that I 
 quite dread to hear the subject mentioned, for fear of a quarrel, 
 besides the wearisomeness : so now, when they dine here, I have 
 invented having two large dishes of barley-sugar at dessert, 
 which is the time when the arguing always takes place ; and the 
 barley-sugar being something new and very nice, it quite an- 
 swers my purposes, and sweetens matters beautifully. They eat 
 it all up, and are quite good-humoured. 
 
 November 6th.- — To my greatest joy, the September steamer 
 arrived the day before yesterday, and brought us a packet of 
 letters. I go quite mad when the letters appear, and turn 
 Moonshee out of the house without giving him time to make 
 his salaams. But all the natives seem to understand and sym- 
 pathise with our love of letters. They have plenty of queer 
 notions about Europe letters, and think they add greatly to our 
 respectability. One day I thought a letter from you had been 
 lost, as it did not appear when I expected it ; so I sent for the 
 old post-office writer to ask if he was quite sure there were no 
 more letters, as " Ma'am " wanted another. "Oh!" he said, 
 " too much care arlways I take Ma'am's letters. Five letters 
 this time come Ma'am ! — Very high- caste lady indeed ! — No 
 any lady in this district so many Europe letters same as Ma'am ! 
 — No any lady such high caste !" 
 
 I am very glad you know Colonel B y: he was the 
 
 cleverest man in India when he was here, and has left no one 
 able to supply his place. You ask how I get the pebbles from 
 our river polished. I keep an old Moorman, with a long white 
 beard, cutting and polishing them all day. He is a most lazy 
 old creature, and will do nothing unless he is teazed. Some- 
 times he does not bring me a stone for days together ; then I 
 
let. xxn.] THE HAKEEM AND THE IDOL. Ill 
 
 send a Peon to ask whether he is dead : Peon brings back word, 
 i - Not dead, ma'am — that man 'live." Then I send to know 
 how many more days he means to sleep : then they come back 
 grinning and looking very cunning, with a pebble in their hands. 
 
 Here is a story for you and the national-school girls, if you 
 can make a moral to it. There was a Moorman Hakeem, or 
 doctor, at Calcutta, very anxious to cure one of his patients. 
 The Moormans ought to know very well that idolatry is forbidden 
 by their Koran, but they are often very ignorant and heathenish. 
 This Hakeem thought it would make matters surer with respect 
 to his patient if he secured the aid of some of the Heathen gods 
 as well as that of Mohammed ; so he went to the temple of the 
 idol Punchanund, and promised him a large reward if he would 
 help to cure the man, who was very rich, and had engaged to 
 pay the Hakeem a considerable sum on his recovery. The pa- 
 tient died. The Hakeem went again to the temple and told 
 Punchanund that he did not believe he had any power at all, 
 and that, if he was a god, he must get up directly and eat the 
 fruit and smell the flowers which the Hakeem had brought him 
 out of goodnature, notwithstanding his disappointment. Puncha- 
 nund, of course, sat still : the Hakeem, in a rage, broke off its 
 head, and was found by the police walking about with the idol's 
 head in his hand. On being asked why he had done it, he said, 
 " What was the use of leaving a head on such a stupid fellow as 
 that, who could not help either himself or- me ?" 
 
 November 26th. — The Bishop is well again, and arrived at 
 Madras. The religious people at Madras are going to present 
 
 an address to Sir P M before his departure, to 
 
 express their respect for his conduct, and regret at losing 
 him, &c, &c. 
 
 The country and the Government are in a shocking condition : 
 it seems now to be doubtful whether we shall have a war with 
 AfFghanistan or not ; plenty of preparations are making, but 
 the AfFghans have not decided whether they will attempt to 
 stand against us ; I think they would win. The Indian army is 
 in a poor condition, especially the Bengal part of it, which would 
 be sent. The Sepoys say they cannot go into the field without 
 their hookahs. 
 
 I very much fear I shall never see the letters you sent last. 
 
112 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxn. 
 
 A ship was wrecked the other day off Cape l'Aguillas — all lives 
 saved, but most of the cargo lost : I am afraid two or three of 
 my letters were in it. As is usual in shipwrecks, it was com- 
 manded by a young Captain making his first voyage: those 
 young Captains almost always try some clever experiment, and 
 lose their first ship. 
 
 November 19M, 1838. — Hindered till now by divers fellow- 
 creatures. The other day we had a visit from a very intelligent 
 
 native, a friend of Rammohun Roy's : he came to ask A to 
 
 subscribe to a book he is going to publish. He told us he had 
 three daughters and a son, and that he was determined not to be 
 influenced by the Hindoo prejudices against female education, so 
 he had taught his daughters to read and write their own lan- 
 guage, English, and Sanscrit, and that he found they learnt just 
 as well as their brother ; but he had met with a great deal of 
 trouble and opposition from his relations on account of his inno- 
 vation — especially from his wife, who for a long time allowed no 
 peace or quiet in the house. He says the natives much wish to 
 see some of Rammohun Roy's suggestions adopted by the Go- 
 vernment, and think them very useful and well adapted to their 
 
 end. You could tell Mr. G this : Rammohun Roy's ideas 
 
 were laid before Parliament, and Mr. G will know what 
 
 they were. There is great distress in our neighbourhood now, 
 owing to the failure of the Monsoon. Whole gangs of robbers 
 are going about, armed with sticks, waylaying the grain-mer- 
 chants and breaking open the stores. A is raising a sub- 
 scription to buy grain and give it to those who will work for it 
 — every man to have enough for himself, and his wife, and two 
 children ; and he intends that the workers shall dig a well, or 
 deepen a tank, or do something of that kind which will be a 
 benefit to the people. We have also sent for a quantity of pota- 
 toes, in hopes of introducing their cultivation : the cultivators 
 are willing to try them now, in this time of scarcity, and I hope 
 
 they may succeed. I am to give the potatoes, and A is to 
 
 give a reward to the man who raises the best crop. Potatoes 
 would be very good to cultivate here, because they require so 
 little water. The tanks are all dried up, and people are begin- 
 ning to grudge the trouble of drawing water from the wells 
 for their bullocks. One man said to me, " Two pots water, 
 
let. xxii.] PROGRESS OF THE SCHOOL. 113 
 
 whole family drink quite 'nough ; and two pots water one 
 bullock arl own hisself drink up : too much trouble that 
 bullock ! " 
 
 A is just returned from Samulcottah (the Military station), 
 
 whither he went on occasion of a public dinner. Major C 
 
 is very much given to drawing, and good-naturedly sent me two 
 portfolios filled with his performances to look at : they are very 
 clever and well done ; but, like most amateur drawings, they 
 have every merit except beauty. I do not know how it is we 
 all contrive to avoid that ! 
 
 I am just now deep in the surface of geology. Man tell speaks 
 of fine fossils in India, so I sent hunting about for some. One 
 man brought word that he had found in the bed of the river a 
 number of the " bone-stones" my honour desired : this put me 
 ill great glee ; but when I came to see the " bone-stones " myself, 
 they were nothing but common white flints, somewhat the colour 
 and shape of bones. 
 
 Our school goes on but slowly, though we work a great deal 
 at it. It requires time and patience to clear out their heads of 
 nonsense. The old English school-books you have sent will be 
 most valuable. We find the only way to teach these natives is 
 by question and answer : they cannot take in anything of a prose, 
 so we compose dialogues for them on what we want them to 
 learn. The Narsapoor Missionaries go on zealously and sensibly, 
 and I hope do the beginning of a little good. Bowden and his 
 wife are here just now, that she may be under the Doctor's care 
 during her confinement. 
 
 January 9th, 1839. — We had lately a long visit from poor 
 Penny-Whistle. He came to tell us all his trouble on the loss 
 of his wife. He said he was going to make a pilgrimage to 
 Tri petty, a very holy pagoda some hundred miles off, and to 
 give many hundred rupees to the Swamy. It was an excellent 
 
 opportunity for giving him a Christian exhortation, so A 
 
 discoursed a good deal to him, and he seemed to understand a 
 little, and said they were " words of great wisdom :" but the 
 difficulty of talking to natives is, that, instead of attending, they 
 are all the time on the look-out for any loophole to insinuate 
 some of their absurd provoking compliments, and one can never 
 ascertain whether they really take in what is said to them. I 
 
 I 
 
114 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxn. 
 
 gave him two of the Gospels bound in red satin with yellow 
 flowers, and he seemed pleased, and promised to read them. 
 Among other questions, he asked where our God was, that we 
 could worship Him without making pilgrimages. He com- 
 plained of being very dull for want of something to do, so A 
 
 advised him to set up a school in his town, and look to his estate, 
 and employ people in cultivating the waste lands, which are all 
 utterly neglected for miles around him. 
 
 We are now writing dialogues for the natives — to be printed 
 in parallel columns of English, Tamul, and Teloogoo — on dif- 
 ferent subjects, just to give them a soupcon of sense. Mr. Bin- 
 ning has made us a very good one on Grammar ; A is 
 
 doing Ancient History ; the Doctor is doing Anatomy ; I am 
 to do different ones. The school continues full, but does not 
 advance much : the two first classes come to us every Saturday 
 to read St. Luke's Gospel and repeat Scripture questions — I 
 mean, questions and answers on Scripture History, which we 
 prepare and they learn by heart. This they seem to like and 
 enter into ; but we are only as far as Abraham yet. If we 
 really get through the Scripture History we mean to publish it, 
 as we think it might be useful. 
 
 Baby is very well and very intelligent. Every now and then 
 she learns to pronounce some new word, which she thinks is 
 very clever ; but I intend, as much as possible, to prevent her 
 learning the native languages: though it is rather difficult — 
 most English children do learn them, and all sorts of mischief 
 with them, and grow like little Hindoos. If my child were to 
 stay long in the country, it would be worth while to send for an 
 English nurse ; but, as it is, I hope to bring her home before it 
 becomes of any consequence, and meanwhile I keep her as mucli 
 as possible with me. The native " system " of managing a child 
 is to make it cry for everything. If " Missy," as they call her, 
 asks for anything, Ayah is too lazy to give it, but argues, and 
 tries to persuade her to do without it: then Missy whines — 
 Ayah does not care for that, she whines too : then Missy roars 
 — then, whether right or wrong, good or bad, Ayah gives her 
 whatever she wants. She has nothing to do but to roar long 
 enough and loud enough, and she is sure to get her own way — 
 anything may be done by means of naughtiness. 
 
lot. xxiii.] MODE OF GIVING CHARITY. 115 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-THIRD. 
 
 Rajahmundry, January 19th, 1839. 
 The famine is decreasing now, but there has been much distress. 
 
 A collected about fifty pounds among the three or four 
 
 English here, the Court writers, and the Rajahs ; and the Go- 
 vernment gave him fifty pounds more ; with which he has fed 
 daily about two hundred and fifty or three hundred people, giving 
 them grain in payment for their work. The old sergeant gives 
 out the tickets to the labourers, and superintends them, but he is 
 somewhat slow, and cannot make them mind him. One day we 
 asked him how he managed : he said, " Pretty well, sir, along 
 with the men — they are pretty quiet ; but the women, ma'am ! " 
 (turning to me with a very coy look) — " they are dreadful bad 
 to be sure ! I can't get on along with them at all ! " Next day 
 
 A went himself to see how they got on : there he found the 
 
 poor sergeant with the tickets tied up in the corner of his pocket- 
 handkerchief, and about fifty able-bodied women, all fighting, 
 pulling, and dragging at him ; and as many more shut up in a 
 sort of pen of prickly-pear, fighting, scratching, and tearing each 
 
 other, till A thought there would really be some serious 
 
 mischief done, and some of the babies in arms killed ; but the 
 sergeant took it all very quietly : — " Lawk, sir, never mind 'em ! 
 
 they won't hurt theirselves ! " A goes now every morning 
 
 to give the tickets away himself, and there is no trouble at all, 
 but all the fighting ladies as quiet as mice. The women help to 
 work as well as the men, but of course they only do a little of 
 the easy part. They are all repairing the tanks and the roads, 
 and the native subscribers are now much pleased with the plan 
 of making the people work for their food. They are beginning 
 to see the sense of it ; but at first they tried hard to persuade 
 
 A to give it away in a sort of scramble to those that cried 
 
 the loudest, which is the native way of giving charity. 
 
 We are just now very busy about a new plan, viz., to set up a 
 
 i 2 
 
116 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxiii. 
 
 native reading-room in the bazaar. A thinks the people 
 
 would often be induced to come and sit there and read, instead 
 of spending all the day in gossiping and chewing betel in the 
 bazaar. He has consulted one or two of the most sensible of our 
 native visitors, who like the thoughts of it very much, and say it 
 would be sure to succeed. We mean to hire a good room in the 
 middle of the bazaar, have it whitewashed and matted, and orna- 
 mented with some of the penny pictures which are coming from 
 you, and which will be great attractions ; and keep always there 
 a supply of all the Gentoo books and tracts that are to be had, 
 all the easy English ones we can muster, a Gentoo and an Eng- 
 lish newspaper. There is a Gentoo newspaper published at 
 
 Madras, and A takes it, in order to please some of the Court 
 
 servants by lending it to them. It is very quaint : sometimes 
 there are articles translated from the English papers, always the 
 most uninteresting and frivolous that can possibly be selected : 
 for instance, a description of the Queen's bed, with the very un- 
 expected assertion that she always sleeps on a hard mat, with 
 nothing over her ! In the last number there was an account of 
 a ball given by the Governor of Madras, to which many of the 
 natives were invited. They say, " the Nabob entered with a 
 grand suwarree (attendance) of a hundred guards, and a hundred 
 lanterns all in one line, and appeared like a man of penetration. 
 The English danced together pleasantly after their fashion, 
 shaking each other's hands, and then proceeded to make their 
 supper, when the respectable natives all retired." Of course, the 
 " respectable natives " of caste could not remain to partake of 
 our Pariah food ! They always despise us very much for dancing 
 to amuse ourselves ; the proper grand thing would be to sit still, 
 solemn and sleepy, smoking, or chewing betel, and have dancing- 
 girls to dance to us. 
 
 That poor Mr. B I told you about, who was helping us 
 
 to concoct dialogues, is going home ill. He had set up a native 
 school at Cocanada with forty boys ; it was going on very nicely, 
 but I am afraid nobody will keep it up now. A Rajah who 
 called here the other day promised to take it in hand, and pay 
 the master, and keep it up himself; but I am afraid his pro- 
 mises will not come to much. He was rather a clever, intelli- 
 gent man, and came to tell us of a book he is writing on revenue 
 
let. xxni.] READING-ROOM. 117 
 
 and judicial matters. Some of his notions and schemes were very 
 good, and A thought they really might be useful ; but pro- 
 bably the performance will be so queer and rigmarole that 
 
 nobody will read it. He wanted A to write a public official 
 
 letter to Government requesting that attention might be paid to 
 the book : I think Government would be rather surprised. 
 
 Our Narsapoor Missionaries are now engaged in travelling 
 through the district, preaching as they go along. It is a very 
 good plan for exciting attention, and that is the chief benefit 
 that is to be hoped for at present. These poor natives are a long 
 time before they can even be roused from their apathy : as for 
 their opposition, they are scarcely equal to making any— it is 
 like the opposition of dormice. I believe they could sleep 
 through a battle. 
 
 March 6th. — The reading-room is established and much ap- 
 proved. The doors are opened before six in the morning, but 
 there are always people waiting outside, ready for the first mo- 
 ment they can get in. Always twenty or thirty at a time sit 
 reading there, and about a hundred come in the course of the 
 day. The wall is hung with divers of your penny pictures, 
 which are much admired, especially that of the Queen on horse- 
 back. We have found plenty of suitable books, in English, 
 Hindostanee, Tamul, and Gentoo ; and I think it seems to be a 
 very pretty invention, and likely to give great satisfaction. 
 
 The case of goods by the * Argyle ' arrived a little while ago, 
 and we immediately selected a batch of rewards to give to our 
 boys. There are sixty-five now in the school, but we only gave 
 grand Europe presents to the twenty-four best, not to make 
 them too cheap ; and by way of a slight treat to the younger 
 fry, they came to " point" at the presents, and scramble for pice. 
 The penknives were more admired than anything ; next the 
 slates. We take a great deal of pains, but they learn very little ; 
 however, they just get the beginnings of notions. 
 
 The other day a Sunnyassee, or Hindoo devotee, came to pray 
 in the middle of the river, and, being a wonderful saint, a num- 
 ber of people made a subscription of fifty rupees that he might 
 pray for them — that being the price he set upon his prayers. 
 The Doctor happened to see the crowd in the middle of the 
 river, and asked a boy what they were doing : the boy said they 
 
118 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxiii. 
 
 were going to be prayed for by a great saint like Jesus Christ. 
 The Doctor asked where he had heard of Jesus Christ. He said 
 at the Feringllees , (Englishmen's) school, and that he thought 
 Jesus Christ was a great saint, and that His prayers for any one 
 
 would be granted. Miss L 's idea, which you mention, of 
 
 translating ' Watts on Prejudices ' for the Hindoos, is just a 
 hundred years in advance — they would not understand it. .What 
 they want is, 'des Catechismes de six sous,' like Massillon's little 
 infidel. 
 
 At the Translation Committee at Madras, some innocent 
 Missionary sent in a proposal to translate Butler's * Analogy ' 
 into Tamul. One shrewd old German said, very quietly, 
 "Perhaps he will first give us the Tamul word for Analogy ;" 
 and that was all the notice taken of the proposition. 
 
 We lately received a petition, signed by the principal people, 
 chiefly Mussulmans, in several of the surrounding villages, 
 begging us to supply them with books of the same kind as those 
 in our reading-room, mentioning the names of several that they 
 particularly wish to have, and saying that they will thankfully 
 pay for them, if we will only procure them. Therefore we have 
 now a sort of circulating library in the district. We consign a 
 packet of books to the head man in one village, and he passes 
 them on to the rest, and when they are all read, we send out a 
 fresh supply. 
 
MAGIC LANTERN. 119 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-FOURTH. 
 
 Samuldavy, March 30th, 1839. 
 Here we arrived this morning, and are enjoying ourselves, 
 spreading our sails, and cooling delightfully. Rajahmundry 
 was growing very hot, but this place is charming. Last night 
 it was downright cold, and the colder and more uncomfortable 
 it was the better I liked it. The babies and I shall stay here 
 
 the next four months, and A' will come to us once a-week 
 
 as before, if the Governor does not find it out ; and in May he 
 will have a lawful holiday. I had a little fever before I came 
 away, and Henrietta was grown pale and pining ; but the sea- 
 breeze has cleared my fever away in this one morning, and I 
 dare say in a few days I shall see a great change in her too. 
 We have built a new room here, which is very comfortable, and 
 we are to pay no rent until we have repaid ourselves the expense 
 of it, after which it is to belong to the landlord. This makes it 
 a good bargain both for him and for us, and it only cost thirty 
 pounds altogether. 
 
 I believe there is a Missionary coming to Rajahmundry at 
 last — a Dissenter ; but if the Church Mission can do nothing 
 for all this immense district, of course we can only be glad that 
 the Dissenters should take it up. He is a Mr. Johnston, 
 seemingly a very quiet, humble person ; and I wish he may 
 come, but it is not yet quite settled. 
 
 Before we came away we exhibited the astronomical magic 
 lantern to the schoolboys. We sent for them unexpectedly, on 
 a leisure evening, so all who were not at school were " caught 
 out," and lost the show. They were enchanted with it, and 
 understood it very prettily, considering they would not have 
 been capable a year ago of understanding any one of the slides. 
 They particularly admired the moon : I heard some whispering, 
 " Ok nulla chendroodoo /" — " Oh good moon !" whenever it 
 
120 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let, xxiv. 
 
 appeared. Mr. G. thinks our school is come on very nicely, 
 and is much better than any of the others he has seen since 
 he has been away : this pleases us, for we had been uneasy, 
 thinking they learned nothing. One of the schools at which he 
 has been teaching is an endowed school at Masulipatam, with a 
 committee and a great deal of money ; but very little really 
 done, though much trouble taken in the committee-room : they 
 think it necessary to write and ask the Archdeacon (of Madras) 
 permission for every book, and he allows of none but the 
 English national-school books, which are quite useless to the 
 natives, so they do not get on at all. Mr. Hamilton is going to 
 have a Pariah school at Rajahmundry, by way of a companion 
 to ours, as we do not admit Pariahs. 
 
 The " reading-room " also answers very well, and is always 
 full. Mr. H. went to see it one morning early, and found 
 people waiting for the doors to open. 
 
 Here is a story for you, but it did not happen lately. — There 
 was a goddess carried in procession to one of the pagodas, and 
 the Collector, as usual, had to supply the money : after the pro- 
 cession had advanced some way, the Bramins came and told the 
 Collector that it had stopped because the goddess would not 
 travel any farther with only twenty bullocks : the Collector 
 gave ten more, and the Swamy went on another hundred yards ; 
 when the Bramins came back again and said she was still dis- 
 contented and wanted more. This put the Collector in a 
 passion : he said she was a " greedy devil,'' and various other 
 little politesses ; and if she could not be satisfied with thirty 
 bullocks he would chop her up. So he sent his Peons to 
 fetch her out of her car, and ordered them to chop her up on the 
 spot : the Peons were afraid, and ran away : then he sent for the 
 cook-boy, and made him chop her up before his eyes — and the 
 Bramins just took it all quietly and went home. I believe this 
 is quite true; and the moral of it is— that the people would not 
 be so very ready to raise rebellions as is pretended on any defi- 
 ciency of attention to the Swamies. The Collector was a very 
 passionate man, but rather a favourite with the natives because 
 he did not oppress them in money matters, which they care for 
 
 much more than for Swamy. I must add, however, that A 
 
 says my story of the Collector chopping up the Swamy happened 
 
let. xxiv.] A PROXY. 121 
 
 twenty years ago ; and that no Collector in his senses would do 
 such a thing now. 
 
 Our clerical friend, Mr. , is always in some scrape about 
 
 christenings : he refuses to admit any sponsors who are not 
 regular communicants, and consequently many children under 
 Ids jurisdiction are not christened at all. A little while ago he 
 
 was absent from his station for three days, and D , who is 
 
 Judge there, took the opportunity to christen, himself, all the 
 
 children Mr. had refused ; so when he returned he found 
 
 it all done and registered, with the obnoxious godfathers and 
 
 godmothers. Also, Master D took upon himself to marry 
 
 an English soldier to a Heathen woman, together with various 
 other scappate of less importance, but very provoking. Poor 
 felt himself uncommonly hurt, as he often does, and ap- 
 pealed to the Bishop. He showed us the Bishop's answer, 
 which was really beautiful ; condemning all D 's misde- 
 meanors, and at the same time giving such good and wise 
 
 advice about his own vagaries, and yet so kindly and delicately 
 expressed, and the whole tone of the letter so humble and 
 Christianlike, that it was quite a pattern. All the young hands 
 are quite wild about these new ideas concerning baptism. 
 
 A asked young B , a slip of eighteen, to stand proxy 
 
 for one of the godfathers at our baby's christening : B said 
 
 he could not possibly do it, because, if he were a proxy, he 
 should feel called upon to remonstrate with the parents con- 
 cerning their way of bringing up the child. A explained 
 
 that we by no means wished him to be godfather, and asked 
 whether he knew the difference between that and proxy. No, 
 he did not, but still " felt sure it must be wrong." Fancy a 
 young chap like that thinking he must know best about educa- 
 tion, and that his " remonstrances" would inevitably be wanted ! 
 He is a good lad too, only somewhat pragmatical and solemn. 
 H did not think it wrong to be proxy, but discoursed con- 
 siderably on a variety of duties of a godfather, which being quite 
 new to me, I ventured to inquire whether he found them in the 
 Bible or the Prayer Book. " Why, neither," said he, " but 
 I am sure they must be somewhere !" 
 
 April 16th. — Do you know that Government has abolished 
 the pilgrim-tax ? It is a very good step towards leaving oiftheir 
 
122 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxiv. 
 
 encouragement of idolatry. Mr. Hamilton received a letter 
 from a Missionary who lives at one of the " Holy Shrines," 
 giving an account of the last festival since the tax ; and the 
 compulsory attendance of the natives to drag the cars has been 
 done away with. That part of his letter is so curious that I 
 will copy it for you. 
 
 " I have just returned from a large Heathen festival held at 
 the famous Beejanuggur. It is pleasing to find that the Com- 
 pany have remitted the tax this year to visitors, and I hear they 
 have had nothing to do with the usual expenses of decoration of 
 the car, &c. No military were present as is usual ; notwith- 
 standing, the attendance was unprecedentedly small : I do not 
 suppose there were above fifteen thousand persons present, when 
 last year there were seventy thousand ; the year before, near one 
 hundred thousand ; and when Mr. Hands, twenty-five years ago, 
 attended, the usual number was about two hundred thousand. 
 This is a pleasing indication of the decline of idolatry. The 
 scarcity of provisions and water, and the fear of cholera, no 
 doubt kept many away ; but the decrease of interest in the' 
 superstitions of the country, I hope, a larger number. I do 
 hope that three or four years will shut up the festivities of Beeja- 
 nuggur for ever. The Anagoondy Rajah brought all his people, 
 and used all his influence ; but the large car could only be drawn 
 a few yards on the first day, and, on the next day, instead of 
 taking it to the end of the street, from which, had they conveyed 
 it there, they never could have got it back, they brought it home 
 to its place within about three yards, when, being quite ex- 
 hausted, they left it there." 
 
 April 19th. — I have received a message from a Bramin, who 
 sends word that he keeps a school in the village, but has no 
 books, and would be very glad " if Mistress please to give some 
 books to teach the boys." You see that is a very good thing, 
 because we can introduce Christian books instead of the histories 
 of their gods. The misfortune is, there are not above six or 
 eight books published in Gentoo, and those are religious tracts 
 and disquisitions that children cannot possibly understand. 
 Nobody knows how much elementary books for the natives are 
 wanted. There was once a School-book Society, but it has 
 dwindled to nothing ; and once there was a sort of Native Col- 
 
let. xxiv.] NATIVE EDUCATION. 123 
 
 lege at Madras for educating Moonshees, and Government was 
 thinking of establishing schools up the country. Several were 
 established ; and though they were not Christian schools, they 
 were much better than nothing; but they are all done away with 
 now : there are neither schools nor college. Still, if every 
 civilian up the country were to have a poor little school like 
 ours, it would do something in time ; but numbers of them dis- 
 approve, as they say, of everything of the kind. Mr. L 
 
 set up a school at Cocanada : he had fifty boys and a capital 
 master, much better than ours ; but he was not here when we 
 took ours, and now we do not like to turn ours away, as he does 
 
 his best. L 's school was going on very nicely when he was 
 
 obliged to return to England on sick certificate : he asked the 
 Collector to keep up his school, but the Collector thought the 
 natives were better without education, and refused : so the school 
 is broken up, for which I am very sorry. 
 
 The boys in our school take the trouble to copy for themselves 
 all the question-and-answer lessons on Scripture History, &c, 
 
 which we compose for them. A and I write the English, 
 
 Moonshee translates it, and the boys learn by heart and tran- 
 scribe both the English and the Gentoo. 
 
 A and I had been lamenting very much the breaking up 
 
 of Mr. L 's school, and if ever we leave Rajahmundry very 
 
 likely our own will share the same fate : it depends entirely upon 
 our successor. While we were thinking so much on the subject, 
 
 A made me write a letter to one of the Madras newspapers, 
 
 with the results of our cogitations and calculations ; and I will 
 copy it for you, as I know you like to hear all our schemes and 
 plans. 
 
 NATIVE EDUCATION. 
 
 To the Editor of ' The Spectator: 
 
 Sir, — Your paper is so well known as a willing medium for the com- 
 munication of any suggestions tending to the benefit of the native 
 population, that I venture to request the insertion of a few remarks 
 upon a plan for the more general diffusion of native education. At 
 present all attempts for the improvement of the natives of this Presi- 
 dency are confined to private, I might almost say to individual, exer- 
 tions, which of course are capable of but very partial success. What is 
 
124 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let.- xxiv. 
 
 required is national education, a boon far exceeding the limited means 
 of a few individuals to bestow. Government only can confer it; but 
 government can, and ought. I doubt not that there exists in the mind 
 of our rulers the wish to improve by education the condition of their 
 native subjects, if it could be accomplished without risk to our dominion, 
 or too heavy an expenditure of public money. 
 
 The " auld warld " prejudice of " risk to our dominion " is, I suppose, 
 exploded amongst all who are really acquainted with the native cha- 
 racter. It still holds its sway among those whose knowledge of India 
 is limited to the* Presidency, and whose native acquaintance extends 
 only to a few writers in government offices ; but really experienced 
 Europeans, who have been long in the country and up the country — who 
 are conversant with the native languages, customs ) habits of thought, 
 wishes, and prejudices — know, beyond the possibility of doubt or mis- 
 take, how eager the natives are for education, and how grateful for its 
 being in any way facilitated. A European in the provinces has but to 
 open a school of any description in his district, and it is immediately 
 filled beyond the power of one master to superintend. Even with 
 regard to the books used, it is altogether a. presidency prejudice that the 
 natives are averse to being taught from books of our selecting. They 
 never even consider the matter, but receive, without an idea of hesi- 
 tating, whatever we may choose to direct. Their difficulties and ob- 
 jections have, I fully believe, been mainly elicited and encouraged by 
 Europeans themselves. I can confidently appeal, for the accuracy of 
 these statements, to any and every European who has himself fairly 
 tried the establishment of native schools, in which truth should be 
 taught, whether on religious subjects or on matters of general informa- 
 tion. 
 
 Among some persons who are favourable in a general way to the 
 establishment of schools, there still prevails the strange fallacy that we 
 may venture to teach the natives truth on subjects of science, history, 
 &c, but that we must use their own religious books in our schools, and, 
 in fact, teach nothing but falsehood on matters connected with religion. 
 Such arguers forget, or do not know, that what is physical science with 
 us is religious doctrine with the Hindoos. We cannot teach them the 
 most common known fact — such, for instance, as that the earth is sus- 
 pended in space, instead of being perched upon an elephant, or that an 
 eclipse is caused by a shadow instead of a snake — without overturning 
 two or three dozen of their religious tenets : therefore, if we are to 
 teach them nothing trjat is contrary to their own notions of religion, we 
 must just leave them where they are on all other subjects ; which pro- 
 cedure, or rather non-procedure, I believe few persons are quite pre- 
 pared to advocate. 
 
let. xxiv.] NATIVE EDUCATION. 125 
 
 The expense of Government national education is, I conceive, greatly 
 over-calculated, or rather over-estimated, for it is probably not calcu- 
 lated at all. A valuable and comprehensive Government general edu- 
 cation might be given at a very moderate outlay, by the following 
 plan. 
 
 Let there be four schools at Madras, one of which should be con- 
 sidered the central or model school ; one at the principal station of 
 every Zillah, and one in every Talook ; * all, of course, free, unless it 
 should be thought desirable to establish some payment at the Presidency 
 central school, which might be rendered and considered superior to the 
 rest, and would be chiefly attended by boys of the higher and richer 
 classes. At the Presidency and station schools English should be 
 taught, and a good substantial education given. In the Talook schools 
 English would be unnecessary, but education should be carried on in 
 the native languages to whatever extent the books published in those 
 languages render possible. The Madras schools should be under the 
 superintendence and direction of a Board of Education, and the pro- 
 vincial schools under that of the principal European residents at their 
 respective stations. There should be a certain number of books autho- 
 rized by government, and a fixed general plan, upon which all the 
 schools should be conducted ; but it appears to me expedient not to 
 lay unnecessary restrictions upon the European superintendents' occa- 
 sionally introducing additional books or trifling modifications of the 
 system, according to their judgment. If they be too much fettered 
 and restricted, they will naturally take less interest in the work, and 
 their superintendence will be proportionably inefficient. 
 
 Now, let us calculate the expense. I believe one lac of rupees! per 
 annum would amply cover the whole. There are twenty districts in 
 the Madras Presidency, and altogether about two hundred and forty 
 Talooks. Native teachers up the country may be engaged at from five 
 to ten rupees per month. Houses in the villages may be bought, 
 built, or hired for a few rupees per annum ; and certainly the whole 
 cost of the Talook schools, including cadjan, paper, pens, books, and 
 sundries, need never exceed twenty rupees per month. This may 
 even^in most cases, be reduced by the schoolmaster being paid by the 
 grant of a small piece of land, free of taxes ; and this land might be 
 considered as an endowment, and always be the property of the school- 
 master for the time being. The expense of the station schools, where 
 English should be taught, would be about fifty rupees per month ; of 
 the Madras three minor schools, one hundred and fifty rupees per 
 month ; and of the superior one, to which the scholars might contri- 
 bute, three hundred and fifty rupees per month. 
 
 * A smaller division of the district. f Ten thousand pounds. 
 
126 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxiv. 
 
 Now, let us sum up the whole : — 
 
 Rupees. 
 
 240 schools, at 20 rupees per month . . 4800 
 40, viz., 2 in each district — one under the collector 
 and one under the Judge, at 50 rupees per 
 
 month ...... 2000 
 
 3 at Madras, at 150 rupees per month . . 450 
 
 1 do., at 350 rupees per month . . 350 
 
 Total . . . 7600 
 
 or ninety-one thousand two hundred rupees per annum ; and allowing 
 the overplus for sundries and unforeseen expenses, I think there can 
 be no doubt that education might be diffused over the Madras Presi- 
 dency for the sum of one hundred thousand rupees per annum, even 
 allowing for all being paid in hard money, which need not be the case 
 if the system were adopted of attaching a piece of land to the situation 
 of schoolmaster. 
 
 I am, Sir, 
 
 Yours obediently, 
 
 Matter op Fact. 
 
 May 1th. — The scarcity is over now. Government gave a 
 great deal of money to spend among the poor. Our Collector 
 
 gave A fifty pounds of it, all of which he laid out in grain 
 
 for the workers, both men and women. They have made several 
 miles of beautiful high road, deepened tanks, and dug a well — 
 the well is a very great acquisition to this place ; you may sup- 
 pose, in such a climate, how glad the people always are of addi- 
 tional water. A was so pleased with his well that he sent 
 
 all the way to it, a mile off, for water to christen our new baby ! 
 
 Samuldavy, May 10th. — The Bombay monsoon has just set 
 in, so there will probably be the same delay in the steamers as 
 there was last year ; wherefore I intend this letter to go by an 
 old ship. It is very hot now — land-wind all day — very* bad. 
 However, I do not suppose it will last many days; and then, 
 whatever sea-breeze there is we shall have in full perfection. 
 
 In your last you ask how our potato plan answered during 
 the famine : we were unable even to try it, for, owing to the 
 difficulties of carriage in India, the potatoes did not arrive at 
 Rajahmundry till the season for planting them was completely 
 over. There were contrary winds, which prevented ships from 
 
let. xxiv.] A NEW SCHOOL. 127 
 
 coming quickly, and there are no roads in our district — nor, 
 indeed, scarcely anywhere to the north of Madras. People say 
 that, if Government would spend money sufficient to make good 
 roads, it would be repaid over and over again in the increased 
 trade and traffic ; but there are very few who care about the 
 matter, so it dawdles on. Rich people travel four miles an hour 
 on men's shoulders ; poor people walk ; and luggage waits for 
 an opportunity by sea. 
 
 May \4ith. — We are going to set up a school at Samuldavy 
 for Gentoo only ; we could not manage an English school 
 here. The Missionary Beer came the other day, dined with 
 me, and went to preach in the topes. A Bramin brought the 
 tracts I had given, and asked Beer to explain them, as he said 
 they were very fine, but nobody could understand them. He 
 requested Beer to establish a school here, and said there would 
 be plenty of boys glad to attend. So we are going to set one up, 
 and Beer is to come now and then from Narsapoor to superintend 
 it when we are at Rajahmundry. The head man of the village 
 has offered to build a school-house himself; — you know their 
 houses are only sheds. 
 
 We have just had a long visit from a young Rajah, whose 
 ambition is to engraft the character of an English dandy on that 
 of a native don ; and the result is, a sort of king of twelfth-cake. 
 He goes about in an English palanquin with native penny flags 
 by its side; and adds to his national muslin gown, and gold 
 Rajah's cap, a pair of satin trousers, and a green satin waistcoat, 
 
 embroidered with pearls. He wanted to show A some 
 
 papers, so one of his attendants brought in an English leather 
 writing-desk, and Twelfth-Cake proceeded to twiddle at the lock, 
 turning the key round the wrong way, clicking the bolt, and 
 fumbling and fidgeting for full five minutes before he could get 
 it open. By and by he produced an enormous silver Match, like 
 a prize-turnip, with six chains, and begged to set it by our 
 watches. He made a great fuss with the seal and key, but con- 
 trived it at last, and sat down again, looking as proud as an 
 infant schoolboy — and almost as clever. He professed a wish to 
 
 make his name famous, so A advised him to educate the 
 
 people in his Zemindary, and especially to be the first to establish 
 a girls' school. He promised that he would set up both a girls' 
 
123 - : .'V LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxiv. 
 
 _ _^_. 
 
 and a boys' school ; and looked at spelling-books, asked direc- 
 tions about building a school -house, and really seemed in earnest. 
 I wish he may keep in the same mind, for he is a person of suf- 
 ficient consequence to make the innovation, and to carry it 
 through ; but I fear it will all end in buying shaving-glasses 
 and penny prints to stick up in his house. 
 
 Our last papers bring an account of a society in England for 
 protecting the natives of India, with a very clever and true 
 speech from a Mr. Thompson — who is he? He puts a few 
 tigers and boa constrictors into his speech, just to keep up atten- 
 tion, I suppose ; but it is a capital speech ; and his accounts of 
 the shameful taxation, &c, &c, are not in the least exaggerated. 
 
 The troops have been short of food and water, owing to the 
 bad arrangements of the Commissariat, and altogether the war is 
 said to be grievously ill-managed. 
 
 There is now an opportunity for sending letters via Beyrout, 
 so I shall despatch this, as there is no ship now in the roads ; 
 but ten to one the Arabs or their dromedaries will eat up my 
 letter. 
 
 " No more news to report, but I beg always to keep much 
 regard upon me; — excuse me." That is the proper Native 
 manner of ending a letter politely. 
 
let. xxv.] BIRTHDAY-FEAST 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-FIFTH 
 
 Samuldavy, June 10th, 1839. 
 The day before yesterday was Etta's birth day — two years old ; 
 so we had a feast in her honour. Feasts are cheap enough among 
 these poor creatures ; ours cost a guinea and a half, and fed five 
 hundred people. We gave them rice, which is equivalent to 
 roast beef and plum-pudding in England. They live on a cheaper 
 sort of grain ; and many of them cannot even get that, but live 
 on such herbs and roots as they can pick up. 
 
 One cannot cook their dinners for them, and see them eat it, 
 as one would at an English feast ; but each person had a portion 
 given to him enough for two meals, and took it home. They all 
 sat down near the house, in rows ; and Master, and servants, 
 and Peons, measured out the rice, while Etta and I sat and 
 looked on ; but she soon grew tired of it. I noticed one old 
 squinny man, with a long white beard, who sat a great way off 
 from the rest, very solemn and dignified ; a most grand grub, 
 with his old wife at a respectable distance behind him. We 
 found he was a decayed Rajah, who was thankful to come and 
 receive his share of rice with the beggars ! They were all very 
 much pleased with their feast, and next morning many of them 
 came back, to pick up, grain by grain, what little had been scat- 
 tered on the ground in measuring it out. 
 
 A has established a school here, at Samuldavy ; and the 
 
 schoolmaster is willing to teach with our books, so he and his 
 boys have begun with St. Matthew. They read, transcribe, and 
 learn it by heart, and come once a-week to A to be exa- 
 mined ; the greatest difficulty in schools is, the want of school- 
 books in the native languages. 
 
 A little while ago two young Parsees were baptized at Bom- 
 bay, and there is every reason to suppose they were real con- 
 verts : their countrymen were furious, and assembled in crowds 
 around them, as they left the church, using most violent 
 
130 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxv 
 
 menaces ; and there were great apprehensions of a serious uproar, 
 but the two young Christians were rescued. The Government 
 have taken measures to protect them and keep the peace, and all 
 is quiet again. I believe it never was anything more than the 
 bluster of a mob, but the poor boys might have been hurt. 
 ****** 
 
 There is just a chance of a move for us soon : two appoint- 
 ments are vacant, to either of which A has the first claim : 
 
 — Sta a vedere. 
 
 What you say about Governors giving appointments, and 
 people fitting themselves for them afterwards, is very true in 
 England, but it is not the case here. There is a regular rule, 
 established by Act of Parliament, that people of a certain stand- 
 ing are entitled to certain appointments, and the Governor has 
 no right to act contrary to it. He may very well choose among 
 those of the requisite standing, and give the appointment to 
 whichever may be his favourite ; but he has no right to make 
 " the lag of the school captain." TJiat is the innovation com- 
 plained of here : the natives say, " Lord E is fond of doing 
 
 justice, but does not know how." 
 
 Masulipatam, July 4th. — " A change came o'er the spirit of 
 
 my dream ! " I now look upon Lord E as a most excellent 
 
 Governor, and W E as an admirable Private Secretary. 
 
 A great many things have happened since I wrote last. A 
 
 is appointed " Acting First Judge of Circuit in the Centre 
 Division," and with every prospect of being confirmed perma- 
 nently, either as First or Second Judge, at the end of the year ; 
 the real holder of the appointment being expected to go home in 
 January. It is not quite certain that we shall remain there, 
 but very probable ; and if we do, we can have nothing more to 
 wish. It is a most capital appointment — high rank, high pay, 
 good climate, and pretty country ; at all events, we shall never 
 return to Rajahmundry, and are now en route to our new station. 
 
 The only drawback is, that A is obliged to go on circuit 
 
 directly, and to begin by two very hot places, Cuddapah and 
 Bellary, to which he does not like to take the babies and me. 
 We are therefore to stay at Madras with his brother, till he has 
 finished all the Cuddapah and Bellary business ; then we shall 
 join him, and go the rest of the circuit with him, to Chingleput 
 
let. xxv.] JOURNEY TO MADRAS. 13! 
 
 and Cuddalore, which are both of them cool and pleasant. The 
 name of the place we are to live at when stationary is Chittoor. 
 It is said to be healthy and pretty, with fine gardens and plenty 
 of grapes ; hot in summer ; but there is a beautiful place, called 
 Palmanair, within twenty miles of it, very high and quite cool — 
 a most delightful climate. We shall also be within two hundred 
 miles of the Neilgherries, so we can go thither if necessary, and 
 within one hundred and twenty miles of Cuddalore, a good sea- 
 coast. 
 
 We are both of us exceedingly pleased, and " quite content." 
 
 July 6th. — We are now fairly on our road. 
 
 Besides all our own attendants, in number a hundred and fifty, 
 there are divers " camp followers," such as Amah's husband, 
 Ayah's grub, &c, &c. We proceed, on an average, about twenty- 
 five miles a-night, and rest every day, and on Sunday night, and 
 any other night if we are fatigued. Masulipatam was an ugly 
 place ; a swamp, two miles broad, between the town and the sea ; 
 nothing to be seen but wide sandy roads, with prickly-pear 
 hedges, enclosing black-looking Palmyra-trees, and red-tiled 
 houses peeping (no, not peeping, they are not coquette enough 
 for that — staring) out from among them ; altogether, a most 
 vapid sort of place. The Twelfth-cake Rajah paid us a visit 
 there, to ask all particulars about our school, as he thinks of 
 keeping it up. We had plenty of curious farewell letters from 
 the natives at Rajahmundry ; one of them says " he depends 
 entirely upon the protection of A 's sublime feet, and Mis- 
 tress Mama ! " 
 
 Ramiahpatam, July 15th. — We have been halting here for 
 two or three days, and were met by the best of all company, viz., 
 nearly a dozen English letters brought by the two steamers of 
 April and May, which arrived within three days of each other. 
 
 Madras, July 3\st. — We arrived here, babies and I, on the 
 
 23rd, and A on the same day at his destination, Cuddapah. 
 
 lie was able to come with us to within two nights' run of Madras ; 
 and we had servants and Peons, and made the rest of our journey 
 without any difficulty. We are living about six or seven miles 
 from Madras, on the very beach, and enjoy the sea-air much : 
 this situation is cooler and drier than Samuldavy. 
 
 Miss T is very busy now with a school for half-caste 
 
 k2 
 
132 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxv. 
 
 young ladies, which seems likely to be very useful. Those half- 
 caste girls are in the depths of ignorance, indolence, and worth- 
 lessness, and utterly neglected ; they have no ideas but of dress 
 and making love — one girl brought forty gowns to school ! Our 
 schoolmaster's sister at Rajahmundry (who was a half-caste) 
 came very seldom to church ; but, when she did, she used to be 
 dressed in white shoes, gold chains, earrings, two or three brooches, 
 and all such rubbish. 
 
 The poor Female Orphan Asylum is as bad as ever : Lady 
 N , the present Commander-in-Chief's lady, takes an in- 
 terest in it, and is very sensible in her propositions, such as the 
 teaching them washing, plain work, &c, &c, but the other ladies 
 do not co-operate with her. If I come to live at Madras, I do 
 
 not think I shall be likely to take a part in it, because A 
 
 has a great objection to the institution itself, though he would 
 let me help if I wished to do so. But it is very bad : — pro- 
 fessedly for orphans of European soldiers, while scarcely any of 
 them really are orphans ; and the half-caste young left-handed 
 ladies look down upon the poor little honestly-born Europeans, 
 and boast of being " gentlemen's children ;" and they go out 
 visiting their relatives without shame or ceremony. 
 
 There is always something doing in the way of schools, and 
 certainly an increasing desire among the natives for instruction, 
 and an increasing willingness to receive our books. Towards 
 the south they are more bigoted, and their bigotry is greatly en- 
 couraged by timid or ungodly Europeans, who really put objec- 
 tions into their heads ; but at Rajahmundry, where they had 
 never heard of hesitations and difficulties, we used to receive ap- 
 plications for books from distant villages, and especially for 
 any portions of Scripture; and the people used to sit in our 
 reading-room for hours, copying our books on their own little 
 cadjan-leaves. It is very remarkable that here, at Madras, 
 people are declining to help the schools in which the Bible is 
 taught, under the old pretence of its being " a dangerous inter- 
 ference with Native feelings," &c. ; while, not two streets from 
 the English school, which is dwindling away for want of support, 
 there is a common native Braminee school, in which the Bramin 
 master uses the Bible as a school-book, of his own accord, be- 
 cause he happens to like it ; and no idea of difficulty enters his 
 
let. xxv.] ADDICTEDNESS TO PERJURY. 133 
 
 mind or those of his scholars, though they are all Heathens of a 
 high and prejudiced caste. The Missionaries publish many 
 tracts, of which some are very good, but the greater number are 
 not sufficiently simple, and the natives cannot understand them ; 
 and the tracts which come from England are altogether un- 
 Indian, and unfit to translate. We want an Indian Hannah 
 More. 
 
 I wish I could tell you anything satisfactory about the Tan- 
 jore Mission ; there is much talk of pruning and purifying 
 it. The church at Tinnevelly will very soon be begun ; the 
 plan and site are settled, and all is in progress. 
 
 You ask what news I can give you of the " caste question." 
 It is all as undecided as ever. People, even religious people, 
 take such very different views of the matter, that the discussions 
 
 are never ended. A , and his brother, and many others, 
 
 look upon caste as a mixed usage, partly civil and partly reli- 
 gious ; and they think it will only be broken down by educa- 
 tion, and that many of the native Christians who still adhere 
 to it are among the most satisfactory of the converts ; but they 
 think that those who do so should only be employed as school- 
 masters or catechists, and not be considered fit for Ordination. 
 The Bishop, however, looks upon caste as entirely a distinction 
 of rank, and has lately ordained a native Christian who will not 
 give it up ; — others insist upon its being altogether a religious 
 distinction, and will not even acknowledge as Christians those 
 
 who do not renounce it. Mr. T was wishing lately to have 
 
 a series of meetings for freely discussing the subject — the prin- 
 cipal native Christians to take part in it, besides the English 
 gentlemen who differ so much in their views. I, in my igno- 
 rance, thought it a very pretty plan and likely to be useful ; but 
 the wiser heads thought it would do no good, and I believe it is 
 given up. 
 
 August 9th. — A is still on duty at Cuddapah, a place 
 
 noted for fever, which can only be kept off by violent exercise. 
 This he is able to take, so that his health does not suffer : he 
 tells me he is quite well, notwithstanding very hard work. He 
 is employed on criminal trials, most of them for life or death ; 
 and he says the incessant falsehood to which he is obliged to 
 listen is most painful and wearing,— witnesses by scores coming 
 
134 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxv. 
 
 forward to swear away the life of another, and often the only 
 motive some petty spite, — and no shame or disgrace felt, even 
 when detected ! Certainly, the first characteristic of Heathen- 
 ism is lying I A has met with a good painstaking Dissent- 
 ing Missionary there — a Mr. Howell, whom he is helping in his 
 
 books, schools, &c, &c. Old civilians, like him and J , 
 
 generally know much more of the people, and the languages and 
 customs, than the Missionaries do, and can be of great use to 
 them. 
 
 Have you heard yet in England of the horrors that took place 
 at the funeral of that wretched old Runjeet Singh ? Four 
 wives and seven slave-girls were burnt with him ; and not a 
 word even of remonstrance from the British Government ! 
 J says there cannot be a doubt that a word of disapproba- 
 tion from the British Resident would have stopped it at once, 
 for the whole power of the Punjaub depends on our will, and 
 they profess to follow our wishes in everything. Is it not 
 shocking ? The four Ranees burnt themselves at their own 
 desire, from pride of family and caste ; but the poor slave-girls 
 could have had no such motives, and must have been burnt by 
 the wretches around them. One Grandee man pretended he 
 meant to burn himself too, and could scarcely be persuaded 
 against it ; but I believe his was all sham : he knew very well 
 they would not let him, because he was useful to the country. 
 When poor old Runjeet Singh was dying, he gave away in cha- 
 rities and offerings to the Bramins, in order to propitiate the 
 gods, treasure worth a million sterling. He was enormously 
 rich, having never hesitated to steal anything he could lay his 
 hands on. He wanted to give the immense diamond he stole 
 from Shah Soojah, but his courtiers persuaded him not. 
 
 Here is another disgraceful story of English ungodliness. 
 When Shah Soojah arrived at his capital, Candahar, he and all 
 his Mussulmans went directly to pay their devotions to a rag of 
 Mohammed's shirt, which is kept there as a precious relic. Of 
 course, all the Mussulmans had a right to do so, and no one 
 would think of preventing them ; but think of our Envoy and 
 the British troops and authorities all accompanying him in state 
 on such an errand ! I could scarcely believe it, but it is really 
 true. 
 
let. xxv.] " CHIT "-WRITING. 135 
 
 August 14th. — Preparations are making for a Burmese war, 
 and the Indian newspapers are full of Colonel Burney's wisdom, 
 and wishing they had followed his advice long ago. There has 
 been a " petite drolerie" in the way of treason, headed by the 
 Nizam's brother, but it was found out and stopped long be- 
 fore it came to anything. The old experienced hands quiz it 
 like the " petits spectacles " in Paris, but some of the younger 
 Collectors, who were not accustomed to such matters, were 
 rather frightened, and one Collectress told me very solemnly 
 that she understood it had been distinctly announced in the 
 mosques that all the English ladies were to be seized and made 
 slaves of. If you hear any frightful stories, non pensi, for it is 
 all fudge. There is another little Rajah trying at a little rebel- 
 lion fifty miles from the place at which A now is ; and a 
 
 couple of regiments are sent to settle his mind. J says as 
 
 soon as he sees the red-coats and Sepoys he will give in ; but, 
 poor man ! I am rather sorry for him — he has been four or five 
 years collecting arms and ammunition and concocting his little 
 rebellion, and of course his property will be confiscated, and his 
 independent kingdom, such as it is, done away — and, after all, 
 we shall only have " conquered a green blight" like Frank when 
 he was a little boy. 
 
 I am very glad those insects I sent were so curious, and that 
 you gave the new specimens to the British Museum. No doubt 
 I shall be able to send you plenty more : I do not at all recol- 
 lect which they were, but in future I will keep numbered dupli- 
 cates, that I may learn their names. Pray, ask Mr. Samouelle 
 what names were given to the five new species, and let me know. 
 
 I really believe the Madras ladies spend all their time in 
 writing notes — " chits," as they are called. I do not know ten 
 people now, and yet there never passes a day without my having 
 one or two " chits " to answer : — what with writing them, com- 
 posing them, finding my penknife, mending my pen, hunting 
 for proper note-paper, which is always hidden in some scribbled 
 foolscap beginnings of tracts, or such-like, all my morning is 
 hindered ; — and their chits are generally only to say " how 
 sorry they are they have not been able to call lately, that I must 
 have wondered at it, and thought" &c, &c. Now, I never 
 
136 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxv. 
 
 think about it, — " les absens" &c, — and I would always rather 
 they did not call, because I must sit all day with my hair dressed 
 and my best clothes on, waiting for them ; and remember the 
 
 thermometer is at 92°. I am going to-morrow to Mrs. W 
 
 E . I have not been able to call on her yet, because we 
 
 live so far off that I quite dread going out for a morning visit 
 according to this horrid Madras fashion. If I see her I shall 
 say that I cannot come in the morning, and beg her to come to 
 me in the evening ; but for the first visit there is no help : — 
 just now the weather is cloudy, so I shall take advantage of it 
 before it clears up. 
 
let. xxvi.] MADRAS LADIES. 137 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY-SIXTH. 
 
 Madras, September 24th, 1839. 
 Here is the steamer going, and almost gone, and my letter for 
 it not begun, though I have a whole steamer-load of things to 
 say, and scarcely know where to begin ; but I have been hin- 
 dered by an attack of Indian fever, and the baby also has been 
 ill, and the doctors talk very seriously of the desirableness of my 
 sending her home. That is the grand Indian sorrow — the neces- 
 sity of parting with one's children. However, she is still so 
 young that we hope change of air may possibly be sufficient for 
 
 her; and therefore A will fetch us, and leave us at 
 
 Bangalore, a cool place in the table-land above the ghauts, 
 while he continues his circuit to Bellary, which he thinks too 
 hot for us. 
 
 September 30th. — I have been paying a round of visits to all 
 my Madras acquaintances : they seem just in the same state in 
 which I left them, with nothing in this world to do. You can 
 scarcely imagine such a life of inanity. A thorough Madras 
 lady, in the course of the day, goes about a good deal to shops 
 and auctions ; buys a great many things she does not want, 
 without inquiring the price ; has plenty of books, but seldom 
 reads — it is too hot, or she has not time — liking to " have her 
 
 time her own" I suppose, like old Lady Q ; receives a 
 
 number cf morning visitors ; takes up a little worsted work ; goes 
 to tiffin with Mrs. C, unless Miss D. comes to tiffin with her ; and 
 writes some dozen of " chits" Every inquiry after an acquaint- 
 ance must be made in writing, as the servants can never under- 
 stand or deliver a message, and would turn every " politesse" 
 into an insult. These incessant chits are an immense trouble 
 and interruption ; but the ladies seem to like them, and sit 
 at their desks with more zeal and perseverance than their 
 husbands in their cutcherries. But when it comes to any really 
 interesting occupation, it is pitiable to see the torpor of every 
 
138 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxvi. 
 
 faculty — worse than torpor : their minds seem to evaporate under 
 this Indian sun, never to be condensed or concentrated again. 
 The seven-years' sleep of the Beauty in the fairy-tale was nothing 
 to the seven-years' lethargy of a beauty's residence in Madras, for 
 the fairy lady awoke to her former energies, which I should 
 think they never can. 
 
 Chittoor, October Sth. — Here we are on our travels again in 
 our way to Bangalore. This Chittoor is a very pretty place, 
 with beautiful views all around, but the houses and gardens are 
 so choked up with trees, that we can see nothing — I should like 
 to cut down half of them. Our road lies through the most pic- 
 turesque country I have yet seen in India, and I enjoy the scenery 
 in the evenings and early mornings when I am not asleep. We 
 are obliged to outrun all the servants, except the ayahs, who 
 travel in palanquins like ourselves ; so we manage rather, as Mr. 
 Wilberforce used to say, " in the wild-beast way" in the day- 
 time, but very comfortably notwithstanding. We have a towel 
 for a table-cloth, plantain-leaves when dishes are not forthcoming, 
 and we put the palanquin-cushions on the floor for sofas. Tra- 
 velling by night, lying down in a palanquin, is much less fatiguing 
 to me than sitting upright all day in an English carriage. 
 
 Bangalore, October \2th. — We arrived here yesterday safe 
 and well, after a pretty considerable journey — seven nights tra- 
 velling, with a rest of two days and nights half-way. We always 
 stop on Sundays, but last Sunday night our rest did not do us 
 much good, for in the middle of the night another travelling 
 lady arrived at the bungalow. We had spread ourselves over all 
 the rooms, thinking nobody else was likely to come at that time, 
 and were very comfortably asleep, when I had to rise and scuffle 
 my things -out into the other half of the building, through 
 the verandah, in a heavy rain, which was not at all pleasant ; 
 after which, some thieves came and ran away with a bundle of 
 the bearers' clothes, so they were making an uproar, howling 
 and yelling the whole night. 
 
 October 1 6th. — I am charmed with Bangalore, and hope it 
 will do us all a great deal of good. The climate at this time of 
 the year is delightful, equal to any in Europe. For the first two 
 or three days there was a good deal of fog, but it has now cleared 
 away, and all is so cool, clear, and bright, that it is quite a plea- 
 
let. xxvi.] THE PETTAH. 139 
 
 sure to feel oneself breathing. The early mornings especially 
 are as pleasant as anything I can imagine: they have all the 
 sweetness and freshness of an English summer. The air smells 
 of hay and flowers, instead of ditches, dust, fried oil, curry, and 
 onions, which are the best of the Madras smells. There are 
 superb dahlias growing in the gardens, and to-day I saw a real 
 staring full-blown hollyhock, which was like meeting an old 
 friend from England, instead of the tuberoses, pomegranates, &c, 
 I have been accustomed to see for the last two years. We have 
 apples, pears, and peaches, and I really should know them one 
 from the other, though it must be confessed there is a con- 
 siderable family likeness, strongly reminding us of a potato ;' still 
 they look like English fruit : and the boys bring baskets of rasp- 
 berries for sale, which are very like blackberries indeed. The 
 English children are quite fat and rosy, and wear shoes and 
 stockings. 
 
 There are fire-places in most of the houses, and no punkahs in 
 any of them. It is altogether very pleasant, but a queer place — 
 a sort of cross-breed between the watering-places of every country 
 in the world. Ladies going about dressed to every pitch of dis- 
 traction they can invent, with long curls which the heat would 
 not allow for an hour elsewhere, and warm close bonnets with 
 flowers hanging in and out of them like queens of the May ; 
 black niggers, naked or not, as suits their taste; an English 
 church, a Heathen pagoda, botanical garden, public ball-rooms, 
 Dissenting meeting-house, circulating library, English shops, 
 and Parsee merchants, all within sight of each other ; elephants 
 and horses walking together in pleasant company over a great 
 green plain in front of our house, where the soldiers exercise ; 
 European soldiers and Sepoys meeting at every step ; an evening- 
 promenade, where people take good brisk walks at an English 
 pace, and chirp like English sparrows, while a band of blackies 
 play " God save the Queen" and call it the "General Salute." 
 There is a fine old fort here — Tippoo's stronghold ; a most 
 curious place, adjoining the old native town, surrounded with 
 mud walls to be strong I The Pettah it is called. The English 
 ladies told me this Peltah was "a horrid place — quite native!" 
 and advised me never to go into it; so I went next day, of 
 course, and found it most curious — really " quite native." It is 
 
140 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxvi. 
 
 crammed with inhabitants, and they bustle and hum like bees in 
 a beehive. At first I thought my bearers would scarcely be able 
 to make their way through the crowd of men, women, children, 
 and monkeys, which thronged the street. The ground was 
 covered with shops all spread out in the dirt ; the monkeys were 
 scrambling about in all directions, jumping, chattering, and 
 climbing all over the roofs of the houses, and up and down 
 the door-posts — hundreds of them ; the children quarrelling, 
 screaming, laughing, and rolling in the dust — hundreds of 
 them too — in good imitation of the monkeys; the men 
 smoking, quarrelling, chatting, and bargaining; the women 
 covered with jewels, gossiping at their doors, with screams 
 at each other that set my teeth on edge, and one or two that 
 were very industrious, painting their door-steps instead of 
 sweeping them ; and native music to crown the whole. 
 Such confusion was never seen ! Landing at Naples is nothing to 
 it. As I came out of the gate I met some young Moorish 
 dandies on horseback ; one of them was evidently a " crack 
 
 rider," and began to show off — as great a fool as Count P . 
 
 He reined up his ragged horse, facing me and dancing about till 
 I had passed ; then he dashed past me at full gallop, wheeled 
 round and charged my tonjon, bending down to his saddle-bow, 
 and pretending to throw a lance, showing his teeth, and uttering 
 a loud quack ! That quack was really too killing. I am busy 
 now making a drawing of a very uncommon pagoda inside the 
 fort. It is a mixture of Hindoo and Moorish architecture, very 
 grotesque and curious indeed. I perceive there are regular 
 styles and orders in the Hindoo architecture. Wild and con- 
 fused as it seems, it is as determinate in its way as Grecian or 
 
 Gothic. A thinks it is all derived from Jewish or Egyptian 
 
 traditions, and there is as much of corruption as of invention in 
 their idolatry. Many of the stories in their mythology are most 
 curiously like the Talmud, and one sees numbers of idolatrous 
 imitations of the Temple-service in every Indian pagoda. There 
 are outer courts, and a Holy place, an altar of sacrifice, brazen 
 bulls, &c. The Hindoos look upon both snakes and monkeys as 
 sacred, but more like demons than gods ; and do not you 
 remember Adam Clarke's notion among the quaint fancies of 
 the world, that Satan tempted Eve in the form of a monkey ? 
 
let. xxvi.] HINDOO MYTHOLOGY. 141 
 
 In your last you ask whether there is any truth in the account 
 of the conversion of a whole tribe of Hindoos in Bengal. I be- 
 lieve there is truth in it. I asked Mr. T , and he said he 
 
 had heard nothing to throw discredit on the story, but I could 
 not learn any more details or particulars than what you seem to 
 have heard already. One grows sadly suspicious here of all 
 such histories. My mind is, as you say yours is, rather " poi- 
 soned ;" still I believe it is poison, and must not be allowed to 
 work. I do not think the failures, or even the faults, of the 
 present Missionary system any reason at all for lessening exer- 
 tion — quite the contrary ; the less that has been done, the more 
 remains to be done : but what we want are workmen — school- 
 masters especially. I do not see any use in making the collec- 
 tions you mention for the converts — better not, unless it is to 
 pay Missionaries or schoolmasters for them. 
 
142 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxvii. 
 
 LETTER THE TWENTY- SEVENTH. 
 
 Bangalore, November 1st, 1839. 
 This place is not quite perfect as to climate, I see, pleasant as 
 it is. I went a few days ago to call on some friends who live in 
 a rather lower ground, in a very pretty English -looking house, 
 with the compound sloping down towards a tank, to look like a 
 villa on the banks of the Thames : very pretty, but rather deadly — 
 " horribly beautiful !" They walked me round their charming 
 damp garden, and into their sweet shady walks, which all smelt 
 of ague, till my feet were as cold as stones, and I felt myself in- 
 haling fever with every breath I drew. I hurried home as soon 
 as I civilly could, but I had a sharp fit of fever in the night, 
 and was prevented from getting my letter ready for the last 
 steamer. 
 
 The Europeans here are chiefly military, and the ladies are 
 different from any I have seen yet. The climate does not tempt 
 them to the dawdling kind of idleness, so they ride about in 
 habits made according to the uniform of their husbands' regi- 
 ments, and do various spirited things of that sort. Then 
 there is another set — good-natured, housekeeper-like bodies, 
 who talk only of ayahs and amahs, and bad nights and babies, 
 and the advantages of Hodgson's ale while they are nursing, 
 and that sort of thing ; seeming, in short, devoted to " suck- 
 ling fools and chronicling small beer !" However, there are 
 some of a very superior class — almost always the ladies of the 
 colonels or principal officers in the European regiments. These 
 seem never to become Indianized, and have the power of being 
 exceedingly useful. Some of them keep up schools for the 
 English soldiers' children, girls especially — superintend them, 
 watch over the soldiers' wives, try to keep and encourage them 
 in good ways, and are quite a blessing to their poor country- 
 women. 
 
 We hear there has been a great deal of fighting at Ivurnool. 
 
let. xxvii.] STORM ON THE COAST. 143 
 
 Colonel D had the command of our troops, and has taken 
 
 the country. The Rajah of Kurnool himself was an insignificant 
 creature, but it turns out that he was in the pay of some higher 
 power, supposed to be the Nizam's brother, who is trying to 
 organize a conspiracy all over the country, but it is always dis- 
 covered before it comes to anything. The Rajah of Kurnool, 
 being unnoticed and out of the way, was chosen to collect and 
 receive all the arms and ammunition ; and when the English 
 took his fort an enormous arsenal was found, and quantities of 
 gunpowder kept in open chatties, under sheds made of dried 
 leaves, and such queer contrivances, that it is a wonder the fort 
 and the plot were not both blown up together long ago. 
 
 November 4th. — We have just heard news from Rajahmundry 
 
 that has vexed us very much. Mr. X , who was appointed 
 
 as A 's temporary substitute, has taken the opportunity to 
 
 turn out, by hook and by crook, under one pretence or another, 
 a number of the native Court servants, writers, &c, just in 
 order to put in his own dependants from another district. It is 
 a shameful proceeding, for the poor people who are thus dis- 
 graced and deprived of their livelihood have committed no fault 
 at all, and are among the most respectable and clever servants 
 of the Court. 
 
 November 5th. — More bad news from poor Rajahmundry. A 
 short time ago a violent storm — such a storm as only occurs in 
 the tropics — raged all along the coast from Narsapoor to Viza- 
 gapatam, and as far inland as Rajahmundry and Samulcottah. 
 It must have been most awful. There was an irruption of the 
 sea which drove all the shipping on shore, some of it four miles 
 inland, and sloops are still fixed in gentlemen's gardens. It is 
 computed that ten thousand people have been killed. All the 
 little native huts at Samulcottah were blown down ; all the 
 European houses except two unroofed ; our house at Rajah- 
 mundry all unroofed except one room ; all X 's furniture 
 
 destroyed. We cannot be sufficiently thankful to the kind 
 Providence which removed us before it took place, for with our 
 two babies there is no saying what dreadful mischief might have 
 happened. Neither we ourselves nor the children ever occupied 
 the only room that remained safe, and the storm rose so sud- 
 denly in the night, that there would not have been time to 
 
144 LETTERS FROM MADRAS. [let. xxvii. 
 
 escape from one part of the house to the other. The destruc- 
 tion of property has been enormous : all the goods in the mer- 
 chants' storehouses at Coringa and Ingeram ruined ; the crops 
 destroyed ; the tanks filled with salt water — till the irruption 
 of the sea subsided, no fresh water was to be procured all along 
 the coast. It has been a most fearful visitation. I am very 
 sorry indeed for the poor people, already so impoverished by two 
 years' scarcity and constant heavy taxation. The Collectors are 
 chiefly bent upon keeping up the revenue, whatever may happen ; 
 and the people suffer terribly when they have any additional 
 drawback. A "crack Collector," as the phrase goes, is one 
 who makes a point of keeping up the usual revenue in defiance 
 of impossibilities. There may be a famine, a hurricane ; half 
 the cultivators may take refuge in another district in despair ; 
 there may seem no possible means of obtaining -the money : but 
 still the Collector bullies, tyrannizes, starves the -people — does 
 what he pleases, in short, — and contrives to send in the usual 
 sum to the Board of Revenue, and is said to be a " crack Col- 
 lector." 
 
 December \2th. — All the fighting at Kurnool is now over. 
 
 Colonel D had the command of it. There were some 
 
 European corps, dragoons and others, in the force. The fort 
 which they went to besiege was given up to them directly, and 
 they found it full of arms and gunpowder. But after they 
 thought the whole affair was over, and that they had settled the 
 matter without a shot, a party of Patans seized the Rajah, and 
 our force was obliged to attack them. There was sharp fight- 
 ing, and many killed ; but it is all settled now. Colonel 
 
 D 's native regiment behaved so well, that, after the charge, 
 
 the English dragoons went up and shook hands with them, and 
 said they were as good soldiers as Englishmen, or " words to 
 that effect." I saw the party of dragoons come home ; poor 
 things ! they had lost the most men of any. Their band went 
 out to meet them, with a large party of officers and civilians to 
 welcome them home. The band had been practising the " Con- 
 quering Hero " for a week, and they all marched in in great 
 state and looking very grand. Then there was a break in the 
 procession, and the led horses of the men who had been killed 
 followed ; and after that the widows, with their palanquins and 
 
lct. xxvn.] RETURN FROM KURNOOL. 145 
 
 bullock-carriages covered with black cloth. I think it was the 
 most melancholy sight I ever saw, from the extreme contrast of 
 all the music and gaiety preceding, and such a mournful change. 
 
 A few days afterwards we saw Colonel D come in at the 
 
 head of his Sepoys, very grand and proud, with all the colours 
 and trophies they had taken. There seems no doubt but that 
 there really has been a combination against us between all the 
 Mohammedans in India ; but, now they are put down, I suppose 
 we are stronger than ever. It was remarkable that no Moor- 
 men came out to see the show of the regiments' return. In 
 general they take such excessive delight in any military spec- 
 tacle, that they will come from far and near to see it. This 
 conspiracy seems like a last rise of the Mohammedan power : it 
 is crumbling away everywhere. The English have now opened 
 Affghanistan, and all that country will be under our orders. 
 The Madras army is preparing for a Chinese war, and expecting 
 to be ordered to China very soon. 
 
 Vellore, December 18th. — We are again on our road to 
 Madras, and all our plans changed. This is the last letter you 
 will receive from me, for I hope to be " over the surf" and on 
 my way home to you all in another fortnight. We have been 
 so strongly advised not to keep little Etta any longer in India, 
 
 that we have at last made up our minds on the subject. A 
 
 has applied for leave of absence, and will accompany her and 
 me as far as the Cape, which he can do without losing his 
 appointment ; and I am then to proceed to England with 
 her. Our passages are taken, and we expect to sail early next 
 month. 
 
 THE END. 
 
 London : Printed by William Clowes and Sows, Stamford Street. 
 
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