Gilhoolevisms 
 
 o07. r (3 r 
 
 Gilhooleyisms
 
 GILHOOLEYISMS
 
 &YLOR{><iIlHOOLEY 
 
 (FREPER1CKH. SEYMOUR) 
 
 AUTHOR OF 
 
 PICTURES ^T. FLEMING 
 
 NEW YORK 
 
 FREDERICK A. STOKES COMPANY 
 
 PUBLISHERS
 
 Copyri.-'lit. 1 -!,. utn->. ifiifi. 1001 
 BY FKKDKinCK HKNKI SKV.Morii 
 
 ill October, 19T-*
 
 G1LHOOLEY1SMS
 
 hough Truth is 
 
 mighty .-it often emerges 
 
 from contact with 
 
 \ 
 "sassiety" 
 
 in a woefully 
 \ 
 bedraggled 
 
 j r \ 
 condition.
 
 J v he wise cat 
 
 never waits for 
 
 the second 
 
 I* ' 
 bootjack. 
 
 ^ome people 
 
 are so anxious to be 
 good that they overshoot 
 the mark, and instead of 
 
 / 
 
 being Christ-like, they are 
 / 
 
 7 only cranky.
 
 \ 
 
 he difference 
 between a young woman 
 and an old one is that 
 the young woman is 
 
 .1 i. I . " ff r 
 
 <Ji 'jn pain when 
 
 i , ',';/; 7 i 
 
 V /' / 
 
 ( r 
 
 having pleasure, fe 
 
 in pleasure when she is
 
 the rich 
 
 th'emselves know how 
 unhappy they are- 
 no one else 
 will believe it.
 
 to quarrel, -/^ut it 
 
 o - ' '' 
 is well, if you see 
 
 that ,your enemy 
 
 ti ' 
 $ going to 
 
 ayance"on you, 
 to save him the trouble. 
 
 who can tell you 
 \ \ 
 
 how to write poetry, run a bank, 
 
 :'i 
 expound the law. and 
 
 a fiddle is the kind 
 
 o f man that generally ha 
 
 to borr6w money of his 
 
 friends to live on.
 
 ociety 
 
 does not expect 
 you to be 
 
 to be. 
 
 $3t'M&j \ 
 
 ^& ' '"-'^'S*^ : ifo 
 </$ ^ 1
 
 inhere are people who 
 accumulate vast stores of j ; ^ 
 
 gloom, and then mistake ^<* 
 
 &*L 
 
 it for sanctity. 
 
 hat rage is the most 
 
 dangerous which / ." , - 
 is the most silent. l
 
 f the Angel Gabriel should 
 
 )} 
 vouchsafe to woman a 
 
 I 
 
 choice of power, '-it would 
 
 ? - X / / 
 
 |be wise former to ask for 
 
 / ( 
 
 the power 'of knowing 
 
 I 
 
 when to stop talking
 
 ^VV J& bachelor spends 
 
 " 
 
 A ' ' : < 
 
 cannot get your CeV* 
 
 merits recognized by calling ' / \ 
 
 \ v 
 
 people's attention * ^ ', ', , 
 ^."'\/' - to them.
 
 JI hasty "No" 
 
 -/I y? - 
 
 1 
 
 is sometimes
 
 (vf -|,t isan extremely devious 
 ^1 course for a man to try to 
 "regulaTe'his health by the 
 information ,in the 
 advertisements in 
 the daily papers. 
 
 he mj.!i who has 
 
 notV.iriK bi-itt-r than his 
 
 ' 
 ' ancestors to boast about 
 
 is like ttit- potato: ''All that's gooci 
 of him is underground.
 
 he worst hurt do not 
 
 cry the loudest. 
 
 t )eople who 
 use a 
 
 magnifying glass to 
 see other people's 
 
 failings 
 can't see their 
 
 own with a telescope,
 
 1 /A 'Cemetery, is a 
 ' ''place where trie epitaphs v 
 
 1 V 
 
 on the tombs above, ^ , 
 about ferre who )H@,bel 
 
 -e'l^li^? 
 
 v^f 5^* l:i ^^^ t ^'^ / '"- 
 
 ! ^r^^' &jl%$ r l i$i&. 
 
 r *>** 
 \'^
 
 'v? 5 
 
 J'ou can't avoid 
 
 -^1^ " *'' 
 
 0f*>*. trouble even by 
 
 minding your own 
 
 business. Look at 
 the lobster! ho 
 
 doesn't say 
 
 anything to anybody; 
 
 1 
 yet he's always getting into hot water. 
 
 past' is gone, the future ^ _~=- 
 
 J) 
 hasn't come, and the 
 
 present is only a thing 
 
 that is with you 
 
 \ 
 it should make you feel 
 
 as if you should start 
 for the wood-pile and get 
 busy with your axe.
 
 f s not the 
 
 "loudest arnens 
 that get the Lord's 
 
 ear the quickest.
 
 C~~^ ^~\-s. ^ - 
 
 . Tie'unloveliness x 
 
 of a bigoted^person_js because he 
 
 thinks ( that everyone who 
 do,es not agree 
 with him sTiould 
 either change 
 
 .1
 
 f ' 
 
 'Ms the devil's own plan 
 
 jr 
 
 anyone follows^vho 
 
 tries to escape misery 
 
 , , V<""~K- rf v ' ; ' *^^ 
 
 by getting more of it,- ''^ >^ = 7 < % v ^ 
 
 -like trying to 'drown trouble ^'v^^-: 1 
 
 with hard 
 
 drink 
 
 i'hen a young 
 
 i j 
 
 woman becomes 
 
 a new woman x 
 'there's hope 
 
 tor her; she 
 
 [ I 
 
 .may reform. 
 
 when an old woman 
 becomes a new woman, 
 there's no hope.
 
 is a great difference between 
 -*%$ 
 the man who only wishes to say 
 
 j|f ,v<; something 
 
 Sf 
 ''/ 
 
 ,^$ f V w > ,, , y f/~.&'4 
 
 1tf*r^Il^1 
 
 P ^^, r /-.; | I r 
 
 } F 
 
 .'and the man 
 who has something to say. 
 
 | Sum the hose 
 
 Li **" 
 
 of ridicule on 
 a man's enthusiasm, 
 
 and it will wilt like a 
 
 starched 
 
 ^ 
 bhirt-bosom in a shower. , 
 
 c '. 
 
 sy^-^&^V,
 
 en supply the 
 
 K^??"; "X, 
 
 \tfyH : ./fjtf^ :>, * 
 
 world with the biggest ',' - // 
 
 ^ i , . - jools; hut x | 
 
 i. .. '- -/ 1 
 
 it has t.iken a woman to 
 
 make each one of them.
 
 foolish for strong 
 
 young men to damage 
 
 I 
 each other so in a f 
 
 scramble over a 
 bag of wind. 
 
 /* NV// when they 
 
 much 
 
 some poor widow's 
 " " ' < wood-pile. 
 
 at 
 
 Vrnan who can't sing but thinks 
 he can is no bigger fool than the man who is 
 always talking and saying nothing.
 
 P he 
 
 * ; ''-\* 
 
 greatest heraes' are 
 
 unknown.
 
 "If lie re is no dog 
 
 who loves to bite 
 better than 
 the dog 
 
 that has no 
 
 teeth. 
 
 ome people with an idea are 
 
 like an ass bearing a 
 
 pole with a. wisp of hay 
 
 hung in front of his nose- 
 
 they will follow au; 
 
 what they 
 themselves 
 
 carry, until they are lost
 
 he woe-begone 
 Author! 
 There's the trouble 
 
 he has to write /, 
 anything worth printing 
 
 14 
 
 and then to finti.ariy 
 to publish it;l, : but 
 
 worst of all is to get the people to read it
 
 pflihe colic that raises a 
 
 ruction in the interior of a 
 
 // 
 4'tDuke has 
 
 i fmany points of 
 
 S^, 
 
 resemblance to the cramp 
 
 in the newsboy who has 
 
 \ 
 been trifling with gVeen 
 
 ^-N 
 
 apples. -5'6'fi" 
 
 Sf-\\ /f 
 
 (' ; i"-.{#he hardest // 
 
 *1f i- y[ y.^ 
 
 J7 r - 
 
 job a man ever tackled is to 
 
 ^ 
 fry to convincefa) & 
 
 woman against \ 
 
 - s .^ 
 
 her will.
 
 ; music will cause . 
 --;.- 
 
 ;-the world to stop its ears
 
 jOme ^..^^ 
 
 women never learn the 
 
 great difference between 
 
 conversation and talk. 
 
 / vv 
 
 f A N
 
 /ebt is the /T->, 
 
 t ' 
 
 disturbing 
 
 a 
 
 that perches on J* V^. 
 
 the ridge-pole of your 
 
 ^ 1-^" - ^ ^ - ""* ^ r - -~ 
 
 /S house and crows loudest - 
 
 '&,/' 
 lf.il ' 
 
 when you most want sleep 
 
 he living 
 
 of a life is the gaining of 
 
 "* **' 'l 
 
 experience; { "'. 
 but the trouble is vl r - . v 
 
 in the time you ** 
 
 .vastc in gaining exi^enences that 
 are needless.
 
 f((Cj,).ome people show 
 great haste in parting 
 
 with the innocence 
 
 / 
 
 of youth, but # 
 
 ( ?"'':> 
 
 great slowness 
 
 / '( ' ^ 
 
 in parting ^ 1 
 
 % 
 
 with &4r 
 
 ,&:;*/:, ..;,- .5%. : 
 
 its " ;; " : - : tsl 1 L [5 
 
 foolishness 
 
 \ you wish to 
 nicct wiHi clisast(;r, try 
 to joke with a stupid person
 
 ij*fE; r ~ 'V ' < '-' " 
 
 - a woman X , .^. 
 
 '.if"' calling herself
 
 ^yflthe epitaph that says a 
 man did much good and, 
 some ill, is much to be 
 preferred to one ^ .' 
 
 that says -U--J -^ 
 
 - '. ";<; \-^ 
 
 Ifte did nothing. \f-:'W .(u^ 
 
 1 ' ', % ;/ v i,VX?i \; . DKf -''V| v | 'i' <.;'/{ 
 
 hat he - - = 
 ; will not have to repent 
 having eaten too much is 
 no consolation to
 
 t is pleasant enough to 
 
 endurefhe^tribulation 
 
 that comes 
 \ 
 
 \ 
 in the shape 
 
 of a beautiful
 
 J 
 
 would be fewer fo,Qls if 
 HMf the thought were 
 
 expended on fjljing 
 fjjjj.J. the mind that there is 
 in filling the ;
 
 regenerate ^ 
 
 V- 
 
 mankind on / 
 
 and he himselt 
 
 would bupply it. 
 
 things come to him 
 
 , v 
 
 -/
 
 NOTED ST. 
 
 ^-^^\-%: ^ -/./''/ ,/-r:, 
 ^w/^ ''&%<> 4^ 
 
 MSp^^ ; .*^'S" ?x ?v >Xr ' 
 
 ^WttfcyJ ' ft " ^ r , jT ^^' -^ 1; ' 
 
 Tjjjffi/Ll ' I', - s~ "S c oud P ra V in g 
 
 !, '* / , '.' : ""4. v,-. j * J - 
 
 ! | '// and psalm-singing will not 
 
 help your credit at the corner grocery 
 
 . 
 
 ryin8 " to (lrive {l ~' 
 
 V wagon of life, with a 
 
 ;r 
 / -' single mule called "hope" 
 
 won't get you there. .,"' <Y
 
 fine vacation for a/* ; 
 
 : f "'/,'.'.' \ -: -- 
 discontented woman i , , ..... 
 
 would be a few days ;> 
 
 / 
 
 spent in thinking over the 
 jnany things she doesn't want
 
 A man who can say 
 
 V \ 
 
 things in a 
 
 \
 
 T 
 
 CM -I >< i >plt> u In i find 
 
 thh> \voi Id -'> u i> kcd 
 
 I 
 fight the h.ii di -1 ,iu n 
 
 It'avi ! 
 
 ' 

 
 3^ 
 ''f f od keep the home where it is (thought to r b;e, more 
 
 ^necessary to have a ^,- 
 
 piano than , 
 good /food. 
 
 ' ,^ /I 
 
 loudest cries of hard luck | 
 
 come from those who ffj 
 
 " have destroyed 
 
 ) 
 their bodies with drink, " 
 
 their reputations with 
 disgrace, and their minds 
 
 ^j"--.,. .:,.,..- j with want.
 
 here, are people who 
 
 make themselves so 
 
 ^--"'"ridiculous, living, that 
 
 they are not forgotten 
 
 when dead.
 
 hile thinking of 
 the good times coming 
 
 /^ that you 
 
 1 V 
 
 may enjoy them all the sooner 
 
 he reward of 
 
 ill nature is the 
 
 everybody laughs wht 
 
 you slip on a banana 
 peel
 
 i to whistle**^ every time they
 
 small rat 
 
 will break up a 
 
 sewing-circle 
 
 as quickly bf 
 
 f ftf 
 
 as! a big elephant^ 
 
 withthe ^ JSi v to 
 
 jim-jams.
 
 
 generally hap'py. 
 
 ';; :''he 
 
 , i ( ' ' ii ' 
 most tired people are x '. {< w & 
 
 those who take the most
 
 'here are - 
 
 people who get so busy 
 preparing for heaven that 
 
 they neglect matters here 
 ; b,e],o\v.
 
 of the 
 
 greatest mistakes ever 
 
 
 made are in forming an 
 
 ."). " .opinion on too short an 
 
 <y^>, 
 
 .. ^ >> acquaintance, f. 5 
 
 ia- 'i 
 I) 4 
 
 \ scandal-monger is as dangerous as a tiger;- 
 
 \ 
 
 appearance at a 
 -7, /<.. x -~y :'""'-'? ~ -^ 
 
 ^-^--^V^- W-i distance; when it 
 i C-x^ JL - *c^, \
 
 A man to make a 
 
 mark in the world must 
 
 have two educations: one 
 he gets at school, the 
 
 JSP,,,., ,/ *- : - - other trom 
 u 
 
 \ his fellow men. 
 
 I 
 
 n modern 
 
 education every 
 
 l / 
 
 young-one's 
 
 think-tank is 
 
 I 
 
 supposed to hold 
 
 \ 
 
 knowledge that can be 
 
 poured into it.
 
 \hen a woman maintains 
 
 for ten years 
 
 that she is only thirty, 
 
 \ 
 out of respect 
 
 for the age of 
 
 \ 
 the lie. it is 
 
 i 
 our duty to 
 
 -believe it.
 
 discreet person 
 
 will never interfere 
 
 between man and 
 
 wife-unless both are 
 
 ', dead. 
 
 f A :k l J^' 
 
 % ; - MKM W
 
 *.-_ 
 
 a fine world this would 
 be. if people tried half as 
 hard to get into heaven, 
 as they do to get into 
 
 society! 
 
 ^ 
 
 I he loud-talking 
 man i-, like an a$s I 
 
 into an rinp.ty barrel, who 
 mistakes the noise he makes for 
 p&ftififW^ ^ - ,
 
 s :here are people 
 oi, : -who thank the Lord 
 for his good 
 
 will in 
 trying to 
 make the 
 world good, 
 but prayerfully 
 insinuate he is 
 making a mess of it. 
 
 *V : 
 
 ^m^^&K:^ 
 
 V '' ~1 '"-"".. ' J /L~ -."'.''" 
 
 -l^pls a remarkably 
 "%,^ self-contained 
 
 man who can 
 kick a hat with a 
 brick in it. and limp 
 away with a smile 
 on his face.
 
 i: ItMi p, that thr land of Tullilmnit 
 
 vt'l' t lit 1 d.i : k and !( ii bitldi; i
 
 \ t's the dog 
 
 m 
 
 ' that bites without 
 growling, 
 that hangs on 
 the hardest.
 
 / I he least sinfulv^ x > ,- 
 seem to be most in fear 
 of the day 
 of judgment. 
 
 Qume reformers are like the big 
 ^J bluebottle fly: buz/ing and threshing around 
 until he's tangled in the curtain and bumps his 
 head on the window, 
 
 winding up on 
 
 / 
 
 S his back. 
 
 \\.aving his leg'- 
 m the~aTf ancFpraying torfielp
 
 i. Riches, Refinement, and Cpod ' ' : ' 
 Clothes are the commencement of a 
 gentleman; but they won't > 
 prevent 
 Idleness and 
 
 Drink from '^ ^^^ 
 
 being his finish. 
 
 , people in this world 
 
 J -\ 
 
 couldn't take a joke if 
 
 /'*: j J3 
 * l 
 
 .1 -\
 
 c'andal is like 
 a ^teathe more 
 you seek to 
 
 locate it, 
 
 ,% 
 the more it V-^'/ 
 
 will travel, 
 and the harder 
 it will bite. 
 
 
 Tome 
 *^%pedple will ask for advice. 
 
 _.and then get mad if it 
 doesn't suit them. 
 
 J-Aig-; '
 
 ,, 
 
 'J'JM^v en s P end the 
 
 V*??/r, 
 latter half or their lives, 
 
 nursing ills brought upon 
 
 them by their ignorance 
 
 in the first half.
 
 u 
 
 fft 
 
 man can never 
 gain the favor 
 of a woman by 
 arguing with her.
 
 who raise their voices in 
 prayer to tell the Lord 
 how insignificant 
 are would 
 
 y/V, 
 
 be terribly worried if they thought 
 they would be believed. 
 
 o get a reputation, all you need is 
 
 to do something that nobody else 
 
 , o, has done, no matter 
 <'-V hovv foolish.
 
 hat bird with the most 
 
 doesn't always 
 
 sing the sweetest.
 
 here is 
 
 '. as much agony 
 m the grief of 
 
 ''a well thrashed schoolboy 
 in that of a man who has 
 
 lost his million* 
 
 , here are people who 
 _ d. 
 
 1 are only able , 
 
 to see one side of a
 
 he old ( |abb]eg sitting on 
 
 hotel verandahs "at the resorts are so worried 
 
 about other people's faults that they 
 
 \ 
 ,have no time to think of 
 
 :heir own.
 
 
 
 won't be in it with the -{-: .=*." A 
 
 - h 
 
 man who devises a way 
 to put good 
 
 advice ^- *" 
 beneath the hides of 
 people dying for the want of it. 
 
 . - ,, the man in need 
 
 - of plain advice, 
 ;' sometimes a good 
 
 beating will do 
 * . more good than 
 a sermon.
 
 -L / 
 
 he man refusing to look at 
 -<~~- 
 the other side of a 
 
 question, in an argument, 
 is like a orie-eyed man 
 trying to aim a gun with 
 his blind eye. 
 
 f ou will make an angry 
 
 If'"; 
 
 i<- woman madder by only 
 listening to her than by 
 answering her.
 
 he man who said 
 
 that figures won't lie 
 
 - never saw a society
 
 baseball team is an aggregation 
 
 fSf^" 
 
 - ' of illiterate gentlemen 
 
 from all parts of the 
 earth-to whom the 
 local cranks delight to 
 allude as "we." 
 
 rt 
 
 [llreaching is the art of 
 
 1-- 
 
 rdispensing;. the - 
 
 gospel in 
 a ^manner 
 
 to entert?LJn 
 and, a-i 
 
 same time, 
 
 not to offend wealthy pew 
 
 owners.
 
 \S
 
 p here are women, 
 1 who^remjnd 
 , one -of angels- 
 
 / because 
 
 ( C ' N 
 
 \ they are so different.
 
 how angry he is. 

 
 when in a peck of 
 
 : trouble:- -he thanks 
 I the Lord the 
 j peck is not a bushel, 
 and climbs out. 
 
 t is a bright woman ~*i 
 knows when to stop l! 
 talking but where will 
 that jewel of the sex be " 
 found that knows 
 enough not to - t . a .. 
 commence at all?
 
 as he who. alter 
 carrying the hod 
 
 mm. 
 
 
 sun. ctt the 
 behest of his 
 
 ^41%^ 
 
 mother-in-law walks the floor all night 
 
 with the baby, without a protest
 
 rolling stone 
 gathers no mossVbut it 
 
 ^>^' 
 may become beautifully
 
 M here is a note of 
 
 w*W'V > 
 
 anguish in the singing of 
 
 si 
 
 the singer who cannot 
 sing-to the listener. 
 
 X 
 
 reserve us, 
 from the bore 
 who can't sing but 
 who agonizes us by.',.. '. 
 continually trying.
 
 It's an unhappy 
 household where all 
 the smiles are dispensed 
 in society and'all the 
 frowns' at home.
 
 ny 
 
 man in society who can 
 make a fool of himself in 
 a new way will find 
 
 call him great. 
 
 /' 
 
 JBSffe 
 
 *= / , ^5* v*?*^ . ^ 'it 
 
 any sacrifice rather %^S,*^ 
 
 ^1^'kJp 
 than deny themselves 
 
 momentary c./^*" 
 
 enjoyment, 
 find '.hat the future 1i,is 
 !on!v trouble in store for them
 
 fairly tearing 
 his'n'ails out to make 
 money for some worthless 
 son to i^waste' should be 
 punished in the hereafter 
 \ by being compelled to 
 
 twist a rope of hay for a 
 jackass to eat as fast as twisted. 
 
 f]t often happens 
 
 l ! tS * 
 
 that-you'll accuse IT 1 : 
 
 someone else of 
 
 fooling ,you When 
 
 you are only deceiving yourself.
 
 fool can do 
 
 more harm to himself 
 
 with a pen ..than with 
 poison.
 
 ^irie raiment and jewels 
 serve very well to certify 
 to the refinement of some 
 
 women, so long as they 
 
 ) ) ' 
 don't speak y //- // '> 
 
 $ $ t '"'f*-*<-:-4$^ '"' ^ 
 
 im ; ^w\i 
 
 Vwill cryywith dismay at %fe 
 
 p woman 
 
 ' 
 
 f f ' > 
 seeing an insect destroyed, 
 
 and then calmly 
 
 x-T-, l 1 
 
 ff 
 
 keep a lover on 
 
 the gridiron of doubt" for a week -
 
 rooding over 
 
 trouble won't lighten it; 
 
 the best thing to do is to 
 
 go to the(cornfie|dj 
 and hoe: till your 
 
 mind clears 
 itself. 
 
 'r^^^r^fc.s ^x ^f&---^--- - - I 

 
 >v|f you feel obliged 
 
 ; to say anything, say it 
 
 ''-'* 
 before; the words that />, r ^/~, 
 
 M . 
 
 come after are K ot no $[' : ~ '-^\ 
 
 ' T-> --, : ^ 
 
 account. 
 
 \.i 
 
 fc 
 
 ome of the biggest asses in the world 
 "are to be found among the rich: the only use 
 they make of their wealth is 
 
 to convert 
 
 \ 
 
 themselves 
 / 
 into
 
 ^J^^l^r^X^ 
 
 any a man has strained his constitution 
 
 v \*?r \/ x 
 
 K x / ; hi'. ^ 
 
 for ten years to get a reputation for character, 
 
 . 
 
 and lost it all in ten minutes'^ in an ill-natured 
 
 \ 
 
 row with a woman,
 
 V 
 
 m 
 
 full 'piQp'se and 
 
 \ an empty head soon 
 " ' change conditions. 
 
 "a good fallow" into "a poor devil."
 
 ot the early riser, but 
 
 he who gets the best 
 
 sleep, wins the worms.
 
 Tr 
 
 Jj,ying is a fault children are 
 
 licked for when 
 
 < 'N N 
 
 ,;. young, 
 
 &N^V- 
 
 ' ;1 
 
 u ^ 
 
 and an art 
 which they cultivate 
 when old.
 
 ;p' 
 
 a man commences to toboggan 
 down the slide, of misfortune- 
 his neighbors will 'greasB the way, 
 and kfirrd strangers will assist 
 his relatives to give 
 
 him a plgsjai. 
 
 & 
 
 
 m. , \>^ '/^ '.^ --m* .4 ,'
 
 'vfj reserve us from the 
 > bore who 
 
 \" discourses to 
 
 .*" --w 
 us upon his 
 
 iljs-just where 
 his aches are. 
 and just 
 what his pills. 
 
 T* 
 here are pe<
 
 ^sarcasm is a sword 
 & 
 
 without a handle. 
 
 She who wields it 
 
 must have 
 a care that she 
 herself be not cut
 
 po be a great 
 man ik not like 
 
 .where 
 \ \ 
 
 '' there's 'only 
 
 k 'X ) 
 
 and no ants to gel in; the 
 
 V. 
 
 d> 
 
 'i-\ jjo starve^t a well-filled table; to have 
 music seem ''tedious, and / ,._ 
 
 Vconversation tiresome; 
 
 to have wealth become a 
 
 fool enough to labi/se it.
 
 . - 
 
 /ill;/// " P i 
 
 people ' % 
 
 '" " 
 
 are like soap 
 
 *-*w 
 
 bubbles-attractive when 
 
 first seen; but when 
 
 you try to 
 , x ;grasp them!
 
 '!_|' here are about 
 
 ^ ^-i JW twenty-eight 
 I'll 7 fill' 
 
 GRH'l'E 
 
 *.--- hundred 
 3i kinds of disease 
 ,;,l< for you to die of; 
 and 
 
 U 
 
 each one has a favorite microbe 
 to get a waiting whack at you. 
 
 ?; he genius 
 does one th'ing 
 too welliand other 
 
 1 
 
 'things not well enough.
 
 realize that they 
 
 turn their religion into a 
 
 gloomy farce by depriving it 
 
 of its cheerfulness. 
 
 does not know rnuch it is well 
 
 - hen a man confesses he 
 
 to boasting of their ignorance. ,_
 
 -^.1 je quick, 
 but don't hurry! 
 ij ( >';"' ;/Remember, when 
 f<f you have done a thing well, then 
 you have done it quickly enough. 
 
 I've learned to tell by the 
 
 Xv "^ 
 ^-quality/of her cooking 
 
 ( > / 5 
 
 just the condition of the 
 
 -* ^ _ N >_ 
 cook's mind
 
 here are plenty of 
 sharp men, but there is 
 
 none that ever lived that 
 
 ! Jf 
 
 - i.U'V;/ 1 
 
 ;li^ 
 '-IP 
 
 ' L" j
 
 "V 
 
 Ljfe^Mw. 
 
 o ,. / -*^ (/ am.'-:^. -*~ 
 
 _-' /*' 
 
 there is many a ^ -v 
 
 ;< -marTin this world// // 
 of whom you , ;,^'/ - 
 can say that the , jy V 
 
 only value he ~/w' ~^~~ f; >V ,; \ 
 
 / /1_J ^'' V; \ 
 
 has, is to make/.// 
 
 
 a crowd.
 
 ometimes the ill will 4^ 
 
 ^x V'"*"^ 
 
 favor of a wise man. 
 
 J- ''blessings come to 
 
 as misfortunes
 
 I hey say 
 
 * v the lastVhmg a'woman does before getting into 
 
 bed is to look under it- yet if she finds^something 
 
 i ^ __55r 3 
 
 she is not only disappointed but surprised.
 
 c;^ : 
 
 *-.,.. ,^V-:V^ 
 
 ^'%tffp 
 
 ^ r"~ 
 
 #*-" x I 
 
 n^omen are tine linguists- 
 
 H ~\"' t ' 
 
 \ V , <A ' a ft j w of them in several languages. 
 
 All the rest are fine enough 
 
 in only one.
 
 fT'\he world 
 
 && 
 is a queer place, / 
 
 where blockheads 
 
 win renown, / 
 
 /(/ 
 fools get riches, 
 
 and honest men starve. 
 
 True religion is the art. 
 
 ,of-being sincerely 
 "A 
 
 good, without being 
 ridiculous.
 
 001436710 6