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 BAVIAD, 
 
 AND 
 
 M A V I A D, 
 
 WILLIAM GIFFORD, Efq. 
 
 Tota cohors tamen eft inimica, omnefque manipli 
 Confenfu magno officiunt, curabitis, ut fit 
 Vindi&a gravior quam injuria : dignum erit ergo 
 Declamatoris Mutinenfis corde Vagelli 
 Cum duo crura habeas offendere tot caligatos. 
 
 A NEW EDITION REVISED. 
 
 LONDON : 
 
 PRINTED FOR J. WRIGHT, OPPOSITE OLD BOND 
 STREET, PICCADILLY. 
 
 MDCCXCVII. 

 
 } A ?
 
 7R 
 
 vita. 
 
 G3 I 
 
 T O 
 
 JOHN HOPPNER, ESQ. R.A. 
 
 THE FOLLOWING PAGES 
 ARE RESPECTFULLY INSCRIBED 
 AS A SMALL BUT GRATEFUL MEMORIAL 
 
 OF THE 
 AFFECTIONATE AND FAITHFUL REGARD 
 OF HIS 
 MOST OBLIGED FRIEND 
 
 AND SERVANT, 
 
 London, 
 July 15, 1797. THE AUTHOR.
 
 V 
 
 
 
 INTRODUCTION. 
 
 I 
 
 N 1785, a few Englifh of both fexes*, 
 whom chance had jumbled together at Florence, 
 took a fancy to while away their time in fcrib- 
 bling high-flown panegyrics on themfelves ; and 
 complimentary " canzonnettas" on two or three 
 Italianst, who underftood too little of the language 
 
 * Among whom I find the names of Mrs. Piozzi, 
 Mr. Greathead, Mr. Merry, Mr. Parfons, &c. 
 
 f Mrs. Piozzi has fince publifhed a work on what 
 fhe is pleafed to call British Synonimes; the 
 better, I fuppofe, to enable thefe gentlemen to com- 
 prehend her multifarious erudition. 
 
 a 3
 
 C viii 3 
 in which they were written, to be difgufted with 
 them. In this there was not much harm ; nor, 
 indeed, much good : but, as folly is progreffive, 
 they foon wrought themfelves into an opinion that 
 they really deferved the fine things which were 
 mutually faid and fung of each other. 
 
 Though " no one better knows his own houfe" 
 than I the vanity of this woman ; yet the idea of 
 her undertaking fuch a work had never entered my 
 head ; and I was thunderftruck when I firft faw it 
 announced. To execute it with any tolerable de- 
 gree of fuccefs, required a rare combination of 
 talents, among the leaft of which may be numbered 
 neatnefs of ftyle, acutenefs of perception, and a 
 more than common accuracy of difcrimination ; and 
 Mrs. Piozzi brought to the talk, a jargon long fince 
 become proverbial for its vulgarity, an utter incapa- 
 bility of defining a fingle term in the language, and 
 juft as much Latin from a child's Syntax, as fufficed 
 to expofe the ignorance me fo anxioufly labours to con- 
 ceal. " If fuch a one be fit to write on Synonimes, 
 fpeak." Pignotti himfelf laughs in his fleeve; and 
 his countrymen, long fince undeceived, prize the 
 lady's talents at their true worth, 
 
 Et centum Tales* curto centuffe licentur. 
 Qucre finales ? Printer's Devil.
 
 C ix ] 
 
 Thus perfuaded, they were unwilling their 
 inimitable productions mould be confined to 
 the little circle that produced them ; they there- 
 fore, tranfmitted them hither; and, as their 
 friends were enjoined not to (hew them, they 
 were firft handed about the town with great 
 afliduity, and then fent to the prefs. 
 
 A fhort time before the period we fpeak of, 
 a knot of fantastic coxcombs had fet up a daily 
 paper called the World *. It was perfectly 
 unintelligible, and therefore much read : it was 
 equally lavifti of praife and abufe, (praife of 
 what appeared in its own columns, and abufe of 
 every thing that appeared elfewhere,) and as its 
 conductors were at once ignorant and conceited, 
 they took upon them to direct the taste of the 
 
 * In this paper were given the earlieft fpecimens 
 of thofe unqualified, and audacious attacks on all 
 private character ; which the town firft fmiled at 
 for their quamtnefs, then tolerated for their abfur- 
 dity ; and now that other papers equally wicked, 
 and more intelligible, have ventured to imitate it, 
 will have to lament to the laft hour of Britifh 
 liberty.
 
 C x ] 
 town, by prefixing a fhort panegyric to every 
 trifle which came before them. 
 
 It is fcarcely neceflary to obferve that Yendas 
 and Laura Marias, and Tony Pafquins, have 
 long claimed a prefcriptive right to infeft mod 
 periodical publications : but as the Editors of 
 them never pretended to criticife their harmlefs 
 productions, they were merely read, laughed at, 
 and forgotten. A paper, therefore, that intro- 
 duced their trafti with hyperbolical encomiums, 
 and called on the town to admire it, was an ac- 
 quifition of the utmoft importance to thefe poor 
 people, and naturally became the grand depofitory 
 of their lucubrations. 
 
 At this aufpicious period the firft cargo of poe- 
 try arrived from Florence, and was given to the 
 public though the medium of this favoured pa- 
 per. There was a fpecious brilliancy in thefe ex- 
 otics, which daxzled the native grubs, who had 
 fcarce ever ventured beyond a fheep, and a crook, 
 and a rofe-tree grove, with an oftentatious dif- 
 play of " blue hills," and " crafhing torrents,"
 
 t *i 3 
 
 and " petrifying funs !"* From admiration to 
 imitation is but a ftep. Honeft Yenda tried his 
 hand at a defcriptive ode, and fucceeded be- 
 yond his hopes ; Anna Matilda followed ; in a 
 word. 
 
 contagio labem 
 
 Hanc dedit in plures, ficut grex totus in agris 
 Unius fcabie cadit, et porrigine porci. 
 
 ^ Here Mr. Parfons is pleafed to advance his far- 
 thing rufli-light. ' Crafting torrents and petrify- 
 ing funs are extremely ridiculous" habes confiten- 
 tem ! " but they are not to be found in the Florence 
 Mifcellany." Who faid they were ? But apropos 
 of the Florence Mifcellany. Mr. Parfons fays I 
 obtained a copy of it by a breach of confidence; and 
 feems to fancy, good man ! that I derived fome pro- 
 digious advantage from it : yet I had written both the 
 poems, and all the notes fave one, before I knew 
 there was fuch a treafure in exiftence. He might 
 have feen, if pafiion had not rendered him as blind 
 as amill-horfe, that I conftantly allude to poems pub- 
 lifhed feparately in the periodical meets of the day, 
 and afterwards collected with great parade by Bell 
 and others. I never looked into the Florence Mif- 
 cellany but once ; and the only ufe I then made of it, 
 was to extract a founding paffage from the odes of that 
 deep-mouthed Theban, Bertie Greathead, Efqr.
 
 C xii ] 
 While the epidemic malady was fpreading 
 from fool to fool, Delia Crufca came over, and 
 immediately announced himfelf by a fonnet to 
 Love. Anna Matilda wrote an incomparable 
 piece of nonfenfe in praife of it ; and the two 
 " great luminaries of the age," as Mr. Bell calls 
 them, fell defperately in love* with each other. 
 
 * The termination of this " everlafting" attachment 
 was curious. When the genuine enthuliafm of the 
 correfpondence (Preface to the Album) had con- 
 tinued for fome time, Delia Crufca became impatient 
 for a fight of his beloved, and Anna, in evil hour, 
 confented to become vifible. What was the confe- 
 quence ! 
 
 Tafta places, audita places, Ji non videare 
 Tota places, wtvXroJi 'videare places. 
 
 Mr. Bell, however, tells the ftory another way; 
 and he is probably right. According to him, 
 ** Chance alone procured him an interview." What- 
 ever procured it, all the lovers of ** true poetry", 
 with Mrs. Piozzi at their head, expedted wonders 
 from it. The flame that burnt with fuch ardour, 
 while the lady was yet unfeen, they hoped would 
 blaze with unexampled brightnefs at the fight of the 
 bewitching object. Such were their hopes. But 
 what, as Dr. Johnfon gravely aflcs, are the hopes of 
 man ! or indeed of woman ! for this fatal meeting
 
 C xiii 3 
 From that period not a day paffed without an 
 amatory epiftle fraught with lightning and thun- 
 der, et quicqwid habent telorum armamentaria 
 
 cceli. The fever turned to a frenzy : Laura 
 
 Maria, Carlos, Orlando, Adelaide, and a thou- 
 fand other namelefs names caught the infection ; 
 and from one end of the kingdom* to the other, 
 all was nonfenfe and Delia Crufca. 
 
 put an end to the whole. Except a marvellous di- 
 thyrambic which Delia Crufca wrote while the im- 
 preflion was yet warm upon him, and which con- 
 fequently gave a moft accurate account of it ; nothing 
 has fince appeared to the honour of Anna Matilda : 
 and the " tenth mufe," the " angel," the " god- 
 defs," has funk into an old woman ; with the com- 
 forting reflection of having lifped love ftrains to an 
 ungrateful fwain. 
 
 non hie eft fermo pudicus 
 
 In vetula, quoties lalcivum intervenitillud 
 
 * Kingdom. This is a trifle. Heaven itfelf, if we 
 may believe Mrs. Robinfon, took part in the general 
 infatuation. 
 
 " When midft etherial fire 
 
 Thou ftrik'ft thy Della Cruscan lyre,
 
 C *iv ] 
 Even then, I waited with a patience which 
 I can better account for, than excufe, for fome 
 one (abler than myfelf) to ftep forth to correct 
 the growing depravity of the public tafte, and 
 check the inundation of abfurdity that was burft- 
 ing upon us from a thoul'and fprings. As no 
 one appeared, and as the evil grew every day 
 more alarming (for now bed-ridden old women, 
 and girls at their famplers, began to rave) I de- 
 termined, without much confidence of fuccefs, 
 to try what could be effected by my feeble 
 powers ; and accordingly wrote the Following 
 Poem. 
 
 Round to catch the heavenly fong, 
 Myriads of 'wondering feraphs throng!" 
 
 I almoft fhudder while I quote : but fo it ever is, 
 
 Fools rufli in where angels fear to tread. 
 
 And Merry had given an example of impious temerity, 
 which this wretched woman was but too eager to 
 imitate.
 
 THE 
 
 BAVIAD.
 
 BAVIAD, 
 
 PARAPHRASTIC IMITATION 
 
 FIRST SATIRE OF PERS1US. 
 
 Impune ergo mihi rtcitavcrit i7/Sonettas, 
 
 Hie El egos ! 
 
 3 W^HEN I look round on man, and find 
 how vain 
 His paflions 
 
 F. Save us from this Canting ftrain ! 
 Why, who will read it ? 
 
 PERS. SAT. I. 
 
 a O CURAS hominum ! O quantum eft in 
 rebus inane! 
 Quis leget haec? Min' tu iftud ais? Nemo, 
 hercule. Nemo ? 
 B
 
 [ * ] 
 
 P. Say 'ft thou this to me ? 
 {^ F. None, by my life. 
 
 P. What, none ? Nay, two or three 
 F. No, no ; not one. 'Tis fad ; but 
 
 P. Sad ; but Why ? 5 
 
 Pity is infult here. I care not, I, 
 
 Vel duo, vel nemo : turpe et miferabile. Quare ? 
 
 * Cut non diRus Hylas ? And who has not heard of 
 James Bofwell, Efq. ? All the world knows (for all 
 the world has it under his own hand) that this great 
 man compofed a BALLAD in honour. of Mr. Pitt, 
 with very little afliftance from Trufler, and lefs from 
 Mr. Dibdin ; which he produced to the utter confu- 
 fion of the Foxites, and fung at the Lord Mayor's 
 table. This important " flate paper" I have not 
 been able to procure, thanss to the fcombri, et qttic- 
 quid inept i amic'itu" cbartis , out the terror and dif- 
 may it occafioned amongft the enemy, with a variety 
 of other circumftances highly neceflary to be known, 
 may be gathered from the following letter: 
 
 To the Conductor of the World. 
 
 sir, 
 
 The wafps of oppofition have been Very 
 bufy with my State Ballad, H the Grocer of
 
 C 3 j 
 b Tho' * Bofwell, of a fong and (upper vaihj 
 And Bell's whole choir (an ever-jingling train) > 
 
 b Ne mini Polydamas & iTroiades Labeonem 
 Praetulerint : nugae. 
 
 NOTES; 
 
 LoNDdN,'* and they are welcome. Pray let them 
 know that I am vain of a hafty compofition which has 
 procured me large draughts of that popular applaufe 
 in which I delight. Let me add, that there was cer- 
 tainly no fertility on my part ; for I publicly declared 
 in Guildhall, between the encores, " that this fame 
 ** Grocer had treated me arrogantly and ungratefully ; 
 " but that, from his great merit as a Minifter, I was 
 " compelled to fupport him !" 
 
 The time will come, when I fhall have a proper 
 opportunity to fhew, that in one inftance at leaft, the 
 man has wanted wifdom. 
 
 Atqui vultus erat multa & praeclara minantis. 
 
 Poor Bozzy ! But I too threaten. And is there need 
 of thy example, then, to convince me that on 
 
 -our firmed refolutions 
 
 The noifelefs and inaudible foot of death 
 Steals like a thief I 
 
 B %
 
 C 4 ] 
 In fplay-foot madrigals their pow'rs combine, 
 To praife * Miles Andrews' verfe, and cenfure 
 mine 10 
 
 1 No, not a jot. Let the befotted town 
 Beftow as fafhion prompts the laurel crown ; 
 
 c -Non, fi quid turbida Roma 
 
 Elevet, accedas : examenve improbum in ilia 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 This gentleman, who has long been known as an 
 induftrious paragraph-grinder to the morning papers, 
 took it into his head fome time fince to try his hand 
 at a Prologue. Having none of the ufual requifites 
 for this bufinefs, he laboured to little purpofe ; till 
 Dulnefs, whofe attention to her children is truly ma- 
 ternal, fuggefted to him that unmeaning ribaldry and 
 vulgarity might poflibly be fubftituted for harmony, fpi- 
 rit, tafte, and fenfe. He caught at the hint, made the 
 experiment, and fucceeded to a miracle. Since that 
 period every play-wright, from O'Keeffe to Delia 
 Crufca, " a heavy declenfion !" has been folicitous to 
 preface his labours with a few lines of his manufac- 
 turing, to excite and perpetuate the good humour of 
 his audience. As the reader may probably not dif- 
 like a fhort fpecimen of Mr. Andrews's wonder- 
 working poetry, I have fubjoined the following ex-
 
 C s 3 
 But do not Thou, who mak'ft a fair pretence 
 To that beft boon of Heaven, Common Sense, 
 
 Caftiges trutina : nee te quaefiveris extra. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 trafl from his laft and belt performance, his prologue 
 to Lorenzo. 
 
 * Feg, cries fat Madam Dump, from Wrap- 
 ping Wall, 
 
 " I dont love plays no longer not at all, 
 
 ' They're now fo vulgar, and begin fo foon, 
 
 None but low people dines till afternoon ; 
 
 ** Then they mean fummot, and the like o' that, 
 
 '* And its impofiible to fit and chat. 
 
 " Give me the uppero, where folks come fo 
 grand in, 
 
 *' And nobody need have no underftanding. 
 
 * Ambizione ! del tiranno ! 
 
 " Piu forte, piu piano, a che fin 
 
 " Zounds! here's my warrant, and I will come in. 
 
 " Diavolo ! who comes here to fo confound us ? 
 
 ' The conftables, to take you to the round- 
 
 houfe. 
 u De round-houfe, ? Mi ! 
 ** Now comes the dance, the demi charactere, 
 ' Chacone, the pas de deux, the here, the there ; 
 
 B3
 
 [ ] 
 
 Refign thy judgment to the rout, and pay t$ 
 
 Knee-worfhip to the idol of the day : 
 For all are 
 
 Nam Romae eft quis non ? d at, ii fas dicere : 
 fed fas 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 " And laft, the chief high-bounding on the 
 loofe toe, 
 
 Or pois'd like any Mercury, O che gufto ! 
 
 And this was heard with applaufe ! And this was 
 read with delight 1 O fhame ! where is thy blufli I 
 
 morantur 
 Pauci ridiculum efFugientem ex urbe pudorem.* 
 
 * It is rightly obferved by Solomon that you may 
 bray a fool in a mortar without making him wifer. 
 Upon this principle 1 account for the ftationary ftu- 
 pidity of Mr. Andrews ; whofe faculties, God help 
 the while! do not feem a whit improved by the 
 dreadful pounding he has received. Of him there- 
 fore I wafli my hands I ut I would fain aflc Meffrs. 
 Morton and Reynolds (the worthy followers of 
 O'Keeffe, and the prefent fupporters of the Britifh
 
 C 7 ] 
 F. What ? Speak freely ; let me know. 
 
 P. d O might I ! durft I I Then but let p^ 
 
 it go. 
 
 Tunc, cum ad canitiem, et noftrum iftud vivere 
 
 trifle 
 Afpexi, et nucibus facimus quaecunque reliclis, 
 Cumfapimuspatruos: tunc, tunc. Ignofcite. Nolo. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Stage) whether it be abfolutely neceflary to introduce 
 their Pieces with fuch ineffable nonfenfe as this 
 
 Betty, it's come into my head 
 
 Old maids grow crofs becaufe their cats are dead ; 
 
 My governefs hath been in fuch a fufs 
 
 About the death of our old tabby pufs. 
 
 She wears black dockings ha ! ha ! what a pother, 
 
 'Caufe one old cat's in mourning foi another *! 
 
 If it be not for common-(enfe' fake, Gentle- 
 men fpare us the difgrace of it ; and O Heavens ! if 
 it be deign in mercy fometimes to apply to the 
 Bellman, or the Grave-ftone cutter, that we may ftand 
 a little chance of having our ribaldry and our dog- 
 grel " with a difference." 
 
 * See the will A Bartholomew-fair farce by 
 Mr. Reynolds. 
 
 B4
 
 C 8 1 
 Yet, when I view the follies that engage 
 The full-grown children of this piping age ; 20 
 See fnivelling Jerningham at fifty weep 
 O'er love-lorn oxen and deferted (heep ; 
 See Cowley * frifk it to one ding-dong chime, 
 And weekly cuckold her poor fpoufe in rhyme ; 
 See Thrale's grey widow with a fatchel roam, 25 
 And bring in pomp laborious nothings home ; 
 See Robinfon forget her ftate, and move 
 On crutches tow'rds the grave, to t " Light o' 
 Love ;" 
 
 NOTES, 
 
 * For the poetic amours of this lady, fee the Britifli 
 Album, particularly the poemcalled the Interview ; 
 of which, foit dit en paflant, I have a molt delegable 
 tale to tell, when time fhall ferve. 
 
 f Light o' Love, that's a tune that goes without a 
 burden. Shakespeare. 
 
 % In the firfl editions of this and the following 
 poem, I had overlooked Mr. Parfons, though an un- 
 doubted Bavian. This nettled him. Ha ! quoth he, 
 in the words of a well known writer, " Better be 
 damn'd than mentioned not at all." He accordingly
 
 C 9 3 
 
 See Parfons % while all found advice he fcorns, 
 Miftake two foft excrefcences for horns ; 30 
 
 applied to me* (in a circuitous manner I confefs) and 
 as a particular favour was finally admitted, in the 
 fhape of a motto, into the title page of the Maeviad. 
 Thefe were the lines. 
 
 May he who hates not CRUSCA'sybifrverfe, 
 Love Merry's drunken profe, fo fmooth and 
 
 terfe ; 
 The fame may rake for fenfe in Parson's flcull, 
 And (hear his hogs, poor fool ! and milk his 
 bull. 
 The firft diftich contains what Mr. Burke calls " high 
 matter ;" andean only be underftoodby the initiated; 
 the fecond (would it had never been written !) inftead 
 of gratifying the ambition of Mr. Parfons, as I 
 fondly expected, and quieting him for ever, had a 
 moll fatal effect, upon his poor head, and from an ho- 
 neft pains-taking gentleman converted him in ima- 
 gination into a Minotaur. 
 
 Continuo implevit falfis mugitibus urbem, 
 Et faepe in laevi quaefivit cornua frontem. 
 
 * Parsons 1 know, and this I heard him fay, 
 
 Kitft Gifford's harmlefs page before him lay, 
 I too can laugh, I was the first beginner. 
 
 Parsons of Himself, Teleg. March ig. 
 Quam multi faciunc quod Eros, fed lumine ficco, 
 Prs major lachrymas RIdet, et intus habet !
 
 C 10 ] 
 And butting all he meets, with aukward pains, 
 Lay bare his forehead, and expofe his brains : 
 I fcarce can rule my fpleen 
 
 The Motto appeared on a Wednefday ; and on the 
 Saturday after, the morofoph Efte (who appears to 
 have believed in the reality of the metamorphofis) 
 publifhed the firft bellowings of Mr. Parfons, with 
 the following introduction : 
 
 On Mr. GIFFORD's MOTTO. 
 
 " The following spirited chastisement of 
 the vulgar ignorance and malignity in queftion, was 
 fent on Thurfday night but by an accidental error 
 in one of our clerks, or in the fervant delivering 
 the copy at the office, it was unfortunately miflaid!" 
 
 Why, this is as it mould be ; " the Gods take care 
 of Cato!" Who fees not that they interfered, and 
 by conveying the copy out of the compofitor's way, 
 procured the Author of the Maeviad two comfor- 
 table nights ! But to the " fpiritedchaftifement." 
 
 " Nor wool the pig, nor milk the bull produces." 
 
 The profundity of the laft obfervation, by the 
 bye, proves Mr. Parfons to be an accurate obferver 
 of nature: and if the three Irifhmen who went nine 
 miles to fuck a bull, and came back a-dry, had 
 fortunately had the honour of his acquaintance, we
 
 t 3 
 F. Forbear, forbear: 
 And what the great delight in learn to fpare. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 fhould probably have heard nothing of their far- 
 famed expedition. 
 
 *< Nor wool the pig, nor milk the bull produces, 
 '* Yet each has fomething for far different ufes : 
 " For boars, pardie! have tuflcs, and bulls have 
 
 " HORNS." 
 
 H, Ne/Afffji; & xctxctv tyyxfyxtQ <J>ftNAN. 
 
 for from that hour fcarce a week, or indeed si 
 day, elapfed, in which Mr. Parfons did not make 
 himfelf ridiculous, by threatening me in the Tele- 
 graph, the Oracle, &c. with thofe formidable non- 
 entities. 
 
 Well and wifely fingeth the poet : Non unus mentes 
 agitat furor. Yet while I give an involuntary fmile 
 to the oddity of Mr. Parfons' difeafe, I cannot but 
 lament that his friends (and a gentleman who is faid 
 to belong to more clubs than Sir Watkin Lewis, 
 muft needs have friends) I cannot, I fay, but la- 
 ment that on the firft appearance of thofe knobs, 
 thofe ' excrefcences, "as I call them, his friends did 
 not have him cut for the fimples !
 
 e P. It muft not, cannot be ; for I was 
 born 35 
 
 To brand obtrufive ignorance with fcorn ; 
 On bloated pedantry to pour my rage, 
 And hifs prepofterous fuftian from the ftage. 
 Lo, Della Crusca*! in his clofet pent, 
 He toils to give the crude conception vent. 40 
 
 e Quid faciam ? fed fum petulanti fplene cachinno. 
 Scribimus inclufi, numeros ille, hie pede liber, 
 
 NOTES.' 
 
 * Lo, Della Crusca! 
 
 ** O thou, to whom fuperior worth's allied, 
 
 '* Thy Country's honour, and the Mufes pride " 
 
 So fays Laura Maria 
 
 et folem quis dicere falfum 
 Audeat? 
 
 Indeed fhe fays a great deal more ; but as I do not 
 underftand it, I forbear to lengthen my quotation. 
 
 Innumerable Odes, Sonnets, &c. publiftied from 
 time to time in the papers, have juftly procured this 
 gentleman the reputation of the firft poet of the age : 
 but the performance which called forth the high- 
 founding panegyric above mentioned, is a philofo-
 
 C 13 3 
 Abortive thoughts that right and wrong confound, 
 Truth facrific'd to letters, fenfe to found ; 
 
 Grande aliquid, quod pulmo animae praelargus 
 anhelet : 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 phical rhapfody on the French Revolution, called the 
 Wreath of Liberty. 
 
 Of this poem no reader (provided be can read J is 
 at this time ignorant: but as there are various opi- 
 nions concerning it, and as I do not choofe perhaps 
 to difpute with a lady of Mrs R 's critical abilities, 
 I (hall felecl a few paflages from it, and leave the 
 world to judge how truly its author can be faid 
 to be 
 
 " gifted with the facred lyre, 
 
 ** Whofe founds can more than mortal thoughts 
 infpire." 
 
 This fupernatural effort of genius, then, is chiefly 
 diftinguifhed by three very prominent features. 
 I. Downright nonfenfe. 2. Downright frigidity. 
 3. Downright doggrel. Of each of thefe in its turn : 
 and firft of the firlt. 
 
 Hang o'er his eye the goffamery tear. 
 Wreath round her airy harp the tim'rous joy. 
 A web-work of defpair, a mafs of woes. 
 And o'er my lids the fcalding tumour roll.
 
 t 14 3 
 Falfe glare, incongruous images, combine ; 
 And noife and nonfenfe clatter through the line. 
 
 f Scilicet haec populo, pexufque togaque recenti* 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 " Tumour, a morbid fwelling." Johnson. An 
 excellent thing to roll over an eye, efpecially if it 
 happen to be hot and hot, as in the prefent cafe. 
 
 fummer-tints begemm'd the fcene. 
 
 And filky ocean flept in glofly green. 
 
 While air's nocturnal ghoft, in paly fhroud, 
 Glances with griefly glare from cloud to cloud. 
 
 And gauzy zephyrs, fluttring o'er the plain, 
 On twilight's bofom drop their filmy rain. 
 Unus inftar omnium ! This couplet ftaggered me. 
 
 I fhould be loth to be found correcting a madman ; 
 
 and yet mere folly feems unequal to the production 
 
 of fuch exquifite nonfenfe. 
 
 2do. 
 
 days of old 
 Their perifh'd, proudefl, pageantry unfold. 
 
 nothing I defcry. 
 
 But the bare boaft of barren heraldry. 
 
 the huntrefs queen, 
 
 Showers her (hafts of filver o'er the fcene. 
 To thefe add, moody monarchs, radiant rivers, 
 cooling cataracts, lazy loires (of which, by the bye,
 
 C 15 3 
 "Tis done. Her houfe the generous Piozzi 
 lends, 45 
 
 Et natalitia tandem cum fardonyche albus, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 there are none), gay garonnes, gloomy glafs, mingling 
 murder, dauntlefs day, lettered lightnings, delicious 
 dilatings, finking forrows, rich reafonings, melio- 
 rating mercies, dewy vapours damp that fweep the 
 filent fwamp ; and a world of others, to be found in 
 the compafs of half a dozen pages. 
 
 3tio. 
 In phofphor blaze of genealogic line. 
 N. B. Written to " the turning of a brazen candle 
 ftick." 
 
 O better were it ever to be loft 
 
 In black negation's lea, than reach the coaft. 
 
 This couplet may be placed to advantage under the 
 firft head. 
 
 Should the zeal of parliament be empty words. 
 
 turn to France, and fee 
 
 Four million men in arms for liberty. 
 
 doom for a breath 
 
 A hundred reafoning hecatombs to death.
 
 C 16 ] 
 
 And thither fummons her blue-ftocking friends ; 
 *> 1 The fummons her blue-ftocking friends obey, 
 \s** ^yfr ) Lur'd by the love of Poetry and Tea. 
 '^\j i S\ ' The Bard fteps forth in birth-day fplendour 
 > > dreft, 
 
 < S 6 Y>> > " His right hand graceful waving o'er his breaft ; 50 
 *^ji> His left extending, fo that all might fee, 
 
 A roll infcrib'd " The Wreath of Li- 
 berty." 
 
 Sede legens celfa, liquido cum plafmate guttur 
 Mobile collueris, patranti fradtus ocello, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 A hecatomb is a facrifice of a hundred head of 
 oxen. Where did this gentleman hear of their rea- 
 foning ? 
 
 Awhile I'll ruminate on time and fate ; 
 And the moft probable event of things 
 
 Euge, magne poeta ! Well may Laura Maria 
 fay, 
 
 That Genius glows in every claffic line, 
 And Nature dictates every thing that's 
 thine.
 
 C 17 ] 
 So forth he fteps, and with complacent air, 
 Bows round the circle, and aflumes the chair : 
 With lemonade he gargles firft his throat, 55 
 
 Then fweetly preludes to the liquid note : 
 e And now 'tis filence all. Genius or muse* 
 Thus while the flowry fubjec"t he purfues, 
 A wild delirium round th' affembly flies ; 
 Unufual luftre moots from Emma's eyes ; 60 
 
 Luxurious Arno drivels as he ftands ; 
 And Anna frifks, and Laura claps her hands. 
 
 * Hie neque more probo videas, neque voce ferena 
 Ingentes trepidare Titos, cum carmina lumbum 
 
 Genius or Muse, whoe'er thouart, whofe 
 
 thrill 
 Exalts the fancy, and inflames the will, 
 Bids o'er the heart fublime fenfation roll, 
 And wakes ecftatic fervour in the foul. 
 
 See the commencement of the Wreath of Liberty, 
 where our great poet, with a dexterity peculiar to 
 himfelf, has contrived to fill feveral quarto pages 
 without a fingle idea. 
 
 c
 
 C 18 ] 
 
 h O wretched man ! And dost thou toil to 
 pleafe, 
 At this late hour* fuch prurient ears as thefe ? 
 Is thy poor pride contented to receive 65 
 
 Such tranfitory fame as fools can give r 
 Fools who unconfcious of the critic's laws, 
 Rain in fuch mow'rs their indistinct applaufe. 
 That Thou, even Thou, who liv'st upon re- 
 
 
 \ 
 
 nown, 
 And with eternal puffs infult'st the town, 70 
 
 Intrant, et tremulo fcalpuntur ubi intima verfu* 
 h Tun' vetule auriculis alienis colligis efcas ? 
 Auriculis quibus et dicas cute perditus ohe ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * I learn from Delia Crufca's lamentations that he 
 is declined into the vale of years ; that the women 
 fay to him, as they formerly faid to Anacreon, Ttpvv 
 and that Love, about two years fince, 
 
 " tore his name from his bright page, 
 
 And gave it to approaching age."
 
 C 19 3 
 
 Art forc'd at length to check the idiot roar, 
 
 And cry, " For heaven's fweet fake, no more, no 
 
 " more !" 
 " But why (thou fay 'ft) why am I learn'd, why 
 
 " fraught ^j y {\i 
 
 " With all the priest and all the fage have 
 
 taught, 
 <c If the huge mafs, within my bofom pent, 75 
 M Muft ftruggle there, defpairing of a vent ?" 
 1 Thou learn'd! Alas, for Learning! She is 
 
 fped. 
 And hast thou dimm'd thy eyes, and rack'd thy 
 
 head 
 And broke thy reft for this, for this alone ? 
 And is thy knowledge nothing if not known ? 80 
 
 Quo didicifle, nili hoc fermentum, et quae femel 
 
 intus 
 Innata eft 4 rupto jecore exierit caprifkus ? 
 En pallor, feniumque. * O mores ! ufque adeone 
 Scire tuum, nihil est, nifi te fcire hoc, fciat alter ? 
 C 2
 
 
 C 20 ] 
 O fool, fool, fool ! k But ftill, thou crieft, 'tis 
 
 fweet 
 To hear " That's He !" from every one we 
 
 meet ; 
 That's he whom critic Bell declares divine, 
 For whom the fair diurnal laurels twine ; 
 Whom Magazines, Reviews, confpire to praife, 85 
 And Greathead calls the Homer of our days. 
 
 F. And is it nothing, then, to hear our name 
 Thus blazon'd by the general voice of 
 fame ? 
 P. Nay, it were every thing, did that dif- 
 
 \j H penfe 
 
 The fober verdict found by tafte and fenfe. 90 
 But mark our jury. O'er the flowing bowl, 
 When wine has drown'd all energy of foul, 
 
 k At pulchrum eft digito monftrari, et dicier, Hie 
 
 eft: 
 Ten cirratorum centum di&ata fuifle 
 Pro nihilo pendes ? Ecce inter pocula quaerunt 
 Romulidae faturi,quid dia poemata narrent.
 
 t 21 3 
 Ere Faro comes (a dreary interval !) 
 For fome fond fafhionable lay they call. 
 Here the fpruce enfign, tottering on his chair, 95 
 With lifping accent, and affected air, 
 Recounts the wayward fate* of that poor poet, 
 Who born for anguifh, and difpos'd to fhew it, 
 
 Hie aliquis, cui circum humeros hyacinthina 
 
 laena eft, 
 Rancidulum quiddam balba de nare locutus, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Recounts the wayward fate. In the Interview 
 (fee the Britifh Album) the lover finding his miftrefs 
 inexorable, comforts himfelf, and juftifies her, by 
 boafting how well he can play the fool. And never 
 did Don Quixote exhibit half fo many extravagant 
 tricks in the Sierra Morena, for the beaux yeux of 
 his Dulcinea, as our diftracted amorofo threatens to 
 perform for the no lefs beautiful ones of Anna Ma- 
 tilda. 
 
 " Yes, I will prove that I deferve my fate, 
 
 Was born for anguifh, and was form'd for hate ; 
 
 With fuch tranfeendent woe will breathe my 
 figh, 
 
 ** That envying fiends fhall think it ecftafy," &c. 
 
 C 3
 
 
 C 3 
 
 Did yet fo aukwardly his means employ, 
 
 That gaping fiends mistook his grief for joy. ioo 
 
 Lost in amaze at language fo divine, 
 The audience hiccup, and exclaim, " Damn'd 
 
 fine !" 
 And are not now the author's allies blest ? 
 Now lies the turf not lightly on his breast ? 
 Po not fweet violets now around him bloom ? 105 
 Laurels now burst fpontaneous from his tomb. 
 
 F. This is mere mockery : and (in your car) 
 Reafon is ill refuted by a fneer. 
 Is praife an evil ? Is there to be found 
 One fo indifferent to its foothing found, no 
 
 As not to wifh hereafter to be known, 
 And make a long futurity his own ; 
 Rather than 
 
 P. With 'Squire Jerningham defcend 
 To pastry-cooks and moths, " and there an 
 end !" 
 
 Phyllidas, Hypfipylas, vatum et plorabile fi quid 
 Eliquat, et tenero fupplantat verba palato.
 
 C 23 ] 
 
 J O thou that deign'st this homely fcene to 
 fhare, 115 
 
 Thou know'st when chance {thai' this indeed be 
 rare *) 
 
 Affenfere viri. Nunc non cinis ille poetae 
 Felix ? non levior cippus nunc imprimit ofla ? 
 Laudant convivae nunc non e manibus illis, 
 Nunc non e tumulo, fortunataque favilla. 
 1 Quifquis es, O, modo quern ex adverfo dicere feci, 
 Non ego, cum fcribo, fi forte quid aptius exit, 
 Quando hoc rara avis eft, fi quid tamen aputius 
 
 exit, 
 Laudari metuam ; nequeenim mihi cornea fibraeft: 
 Sed recti finemque extremumque effe rccufo 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * To fee how a Crufcan can blunder ! Mr. Par- 
 fons thus politely comments on this unfortunate he- 
 miftich. 
 
 ' Thou loweft of the imitating race, 
 
 ** Thou imp of fatire, and thou foul difgrace ; 
 
 " Who called each coarfe phrafe a lucky hit, &c." 
 
 c 4
 
 C *4 3 
 With random gleams of wit has grac'd my lays, 
 Thou know'ft too well how I have relffh'd praife. 
 Not mine the foul that pants not after fame 
 Ambitious of a poet's envied name, 1 20 
 
 I haunt the facred fount, athirft to prove 
 The grateful influence of the ftream I love. 
 And yet, my friend (though ftill at praife be- 
 
 ftow'd 
 Mine eye has gliften'd, and my cheek has 
 
 glow'd) 
 
 Nafcentur violae ? Rides, ait, et nimis uncis 
 Naribus indulges : an erit, qui velle recufet 
 Os populi meruifle ; et cedro digna locutus, 
 Linquere nee fcombros metuentia carmina, nee 
 thus ? 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Alas! no: I call few of them fo. But this is of 
 a piece with his qui-pro-qub on the preface to the 
 Maeviad where, on my faying I had laid the poem 
 afide for two years, he exultingly exclaims, " Soh ! 
 it was two years in hand then !" 
 
 Mr. P. is highly celebrated, I am told, for his 
 fkill in driving a bargain : it is to be prefumed he 
 does it with his fpettacles on !
 
 C 25 ] 
 Yet when I prostitute the lyre to gain 1 25 
 
 The eulogies that wait each modifli strain, 
 May the fweet Mufe my groveling hopes with- 
 stand, 
 And tear the strings indignant from my hand ; 
 Nor think that, while my verfe too much I prize, 
 Too much th' applaufe of falhion I defpife ; 130 
 For mark to what 'tis given, and then declare, 
 Mean tho' I am, if it be worth my care. 
 Is it not given to Este's unmeaning da(h, 
 To Topham's fustian, Colman's flippant trafh, 
 To Andrews'* doggrel where three wits com-' 
 bine 135 
 
 To Morton's catch- word t, Greathead's ideot line, } 
 And Holcroft's Shug-lane cant, and Merry's I 
 Moorfields whine , J 
 
 Euge tuum, & belle; nam belle hoc, excute 
 totum. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Andrews. Such is the reputation this gentleman 
 has obtained for Epilogue writing, that the minor
 
 C 26 ] 
 m Skill'd in one ufeful fcience at the leaft, 
 The great man comes, and fpreads a fumptuous 
 feast : 
 
 Quid non intus habet ? Non hie est Ilias Atti 
 
 Ebria veratro ; non fi qua elegidia crudi 
 
 Dictarunt proceres ; non quidquid denique leclis 
 
 m Scribitur in citreis : calidum fcis ponere fumen, 
 
 Scis comitem horridulum trita donare lacerna : 
 
 Et verum, iniquis, amo ; verum mihi dicite de me. 
 
 Qui pote ? vis dicam ? nugaris 
 
 notes. 
 
 poets of the day, defpairing of emulating, are now 
 only folicitous of afiifting him happy if they can ob- 
 tain admiflion for a couplet or two into the body of his 
 immortal works, and thus fecure to themfelves a fmall 
 portion of that popular applaufe fo lavifhly, and fo 
 juftly beftowed on every thing that bears the figna- 
 ture of Miles Andrews I See " the Prologue to the 
 Cure for the Heart Ach by Miles Andrews, and 
 Assistants. 
 
 f Morton's catch-word. Wonderful is the 
 profundity of the Bathos ! I thought O'Keefe had 
 reached the. bottom of it : but as uncle Bowling fays, 
 I thought a d n'd lie for Holcroft, Reynolds, and
 
 C *7 3 
 Then,when his guefts behold the prize at ftake, 1 40 
 And thirft and hunger only are awake, 
 
 Vos, O patricius fanguis, quos vivere fas eft 
 Occipiti caeco, pofticae occurrite fannae. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Morton, have funk infinitely beneath him. They 
 have happily found 
 
 In the loiueft deep a loiver ftill, 
 
 and pexfevere in exploring it with an emulation which 
 does them honour. 
 
 Will posterity believe this facetious triumverate 
 could think nothing more to be necefTary to the 
 conftruttion of a play, than an eternal repetition of 
 fome contemptible vulgarity, fuch as That's your fort | 
 Hey, damme! What's to pay ! Keep moving, &c! 
 They will : for they will have blockheads of their 
 own ; who will found their claims to celebrity on 
 fimilar follies. What, however, they will never cre_ 
 dit is that thefe drivellings of ideotifm, thefe catch- 
 words, mould actually preferve their refpeftive au- 
 thors from being hiffed off the ftage. No, they will 
 not believe that an Englilh audience could be fo be- 
 fotted, fo brutified as to receive fuch fenfelefs excla-,
 
 My friends, he cries, what do the galleries fay, 
 And what the boxes, of my laft new play ? 
 Speak freely, tell me all come, be fincere ; 
 For truth, you know, is mufic to my ear. 145 
 They fpeak ? Alas, they cannot ! But mail I ; 
 I who receive no bribe, who dare not lie ? 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 mations with burfts of laughter, with peals of ap- 
 plaufe. I cannot believe it myfelf ; though I have 
 witnefled it. Haud credo if I may reverfe the good 
 father's pofition Haud credo, quia poflibile eft. 
 
 % Merry's Moorfields' whine. In a moft wretched 
 rhapfody of incomprehenfible nonfenfe, addrefled by 
 this gentleman to Mrs. Robinfon, which me in her 
 valuable poems (page 100) calls a charming compo- 
 fition, abounding in lines of exquifite beauty, is the 
 following rant : 
 
 Conjure up demons from the main 
 Storms upon ftorms indignant heap, 
 Bid ocean howl, and nature weep, 
 Till the Creator blujb to fee 
 Hotu horrible his ivorld can be : 
 While I will glory to blaspheme, 
 And make the joys of hell my theme. 
 The reader, perhaps, wonders what dreadful event 
 gave birth to thefe fearful imprecations. As far as I
 
 I *9 3 
 This then " that worfe was never writ before, 
 Nor worfe will be till thou fhalt write once 
 
 more. " 
 n Blest be " two-headed Janus !" tho' inclin'd, 150 
 No waggifh stork can peck at him behind ; 
 He no wry mouth, no lolling tongue can fear, 
 Nor the brifk twinkling of an afs's ear. 
 But you, ye St. Johns, curs'd with one poor head, 
 Alas ! what mockeries have not ye to dread ! 155 
 
 n O Jane, a tergo quern nulla ciconia pinlit, 
 Nee manus auriculas imitata eft mobilis albas, 
 Nee linguae, quantum fitiat canis Apula, tantae. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 can collett, it was the aforefaid Mrs. Robinfon's 
 net opening her eyes III Surely it is moft devoutly to 
 be wifhed that thefe poor creatures would recollect, 
 amidft their frigid ravings, and common-place extra- 
 vagancies, that excellent maxim of Pope 
 
 " Perfift, by nature, reafon, tafte, unaw'd ; 
 
 " But learn, ye Dunces, not to fcornyour God."
 
 C 30 ] 
 
 Hear now our guests : The critics, Sir! they 
 cry 
 Merit like yours the critics may defy. 
 But this indeed they fay " Your varied rhymes, 
 At once the boast and envy of the times, 
 In every page, fong, fonnet, what you will, 160 
 Shew boundlefs genius, and unrivall'd fkill. 
 
 If comedy be yours, the fearching strain 
 Gives a fweet pleafure, fo chastis'd by pain, 
 Than e'en the guilty at their fufferings fmile, 
 And blefs the lancet, tho' they bleed the while. 165 
 
 * Quis populi fermo eft ? quis enim, nifi carmina 
 
 molli 
 Nunc demum numero fluere, ut per leve feveros 
 
 Effundatjun&ura ungues 
 
 Sive opus in mores, in luxum, in prandia regum, 
 Dicere res grandes nostro dat Mufa poetae. 
 Ecce modo heroas fenfus afferre videmus 
 Nugari folitos Graece, nee ponere lucum
 
 C 3* 3 
 If tragedy, th' impaffion'd numbers flow 
 In all the fad variety of woe, 
 With fuch a liquid lapfe, that they betray 
 The breast unwares, and steal the foul away." 
 Thus fool'd, the moon-struck tribe, whofe best 
 effays I 70 
 
 Sunk in acrostics and in roundelays, 
 To loftier labours now pretend a call, 
 And bustle in heroics, one and alh 
 E'en Bertie burns of gods and chiefs to fing 
 Bertie who lately twitter'd to the string 1 75 
 
 His namby-pamby madrigals of love, 
 In the dark dingles of a glittering grove, 
 Where airy lays,* woven by the hand of morn, 
 Were hung to dry upon a cobweb thorn ! ! ! 
 
 Artifices, nee rus faturum laudare. Euge, poeta ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Where airy lays, &c. 
 Was it the fhuttle of the morn 
 " That hung upon the cobweb'd thorn
 
 C 3* 3 
 Happy the foil where bards like mufhrooms 
 rife, 1 80 
 
 And afk no culture but what Byfhe fupplies ! 
 Happier the bards who, write whate'er they will, 
 Find gentle readers to admire them ftill ! 
 
 Some love the verfe that like Maria's flows 
 No rubs to ftagger, and no fenfe to pofe ; 185 
 
 Which read, and read, you raife your eyes in 
 
 doubt, 
 And gravely wonder what it is about. 
 Thefe fancy " Bell's Po e tics" only fweet, 
 And intercept his hawkers in the ftreet ; I 
 
 Eft nunc Brifaei quern venofus liber Acci 
 Sunt quos Pacuviufque, et verrucofa moretur 
 Antiopa, aerumnis cor luftificabile fulta. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 " Thy airy lay ? Or did it rife, 
 
 " In thoufand rich enamel I'd dyes, 
 
 " To greet the noon-day fun," &c. 
 
 Bell's Album, vol. ii.
 
 C 33 3 
 
 There, fmoaking hot, inhale *Mit Yenda's 
 
 ftrains, 190 
 
 And the rank fume of Tony Pasquin's brains.t 
 
 * MlT Yenda. This is Mr. Tim, alias Mr. 
 Timothy Adney, a moft pertinacious gentleman, who 
 makes a confpicuous figure in the papers under the 
 ingenious fignature above cited ; being, as the reader 
 already fees, his own name read backward. ' Gentle 
 dulnefs ever loves a joke ! " 
 
 Of his prodigious labours I have nothing by me 
 but the following ftanza, taken from what he calls 
 his Poor Man : 
 
 Reward the bounty of your generous hand, 
 
 Your head each night in comfort fhall be laid, 
 And plenty fmile throughout your fertile land, 
 While I do haften to the filent grave. 
 
 11 Good morrow, my worthy matters and miftrefles 
 all ; and a merry Chriftmas to you." 
 
 I find I have been guilty of a mifnomer. Mr. Ad- 
 ney having politely informed me, fince the above was 
 written, that his chriftian name is not Timothy but 
 Thomas. The Anagram in queftion, therefore muft 
 be Mot Yenda ; omitting the h euphonix gratia ; 
 I am happy in an opportunity of doing juftice to fo 
 correct a gentleman, and I pray him to continue his 
 valuable labour. 
 
 D
 
 C 34 3 
 
 Others, like Kemble, on black letter pore, 
 And what they do not undernand, adore ; 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 f Tony Pasquin. I have too much refpect for 
 my reader to affront him with any fpecimens of this 
 man's poetry, at once licentious and dull beyond ex- 
 ample : at the fame time I cannot refift the temptation 
 of prefenting him with the following ftanzas, written 
 by a friend of mine, and fufficiently illuftrative of the 
 character in queftion : 
 
 To Anthony Pasquin, Efq. 
 
 Why doft thou tack,moft fimple Anthony, 
 The name of Pafquin to thy ribbald drains ? 
 
 Is it a fetch of wit, to let us fee 
 
 Thou, like that ftatue, art devoid of brains \ 
 
 But thou miftak'ft : for know, tho' Pafquin's head 
 Be full as hard, and near as thick, as thine ; 
 
 Yet has the world admiring on it read 
 
 Many a keen gibe, and many a fportive line. 
 
 While nothing from thy jobbernowl can fpring 
 But impudence and filth ; for out, alas! 
 
 Do what we will, 'tis ftill the fame vile thing, 
 Within, all brick-duft and without, all brafs.
 
 C 35 ] 
 Buy at vaft fums the trajh of ancient days, 
 And draw on prodigality for praife. 190 
 
 Thefe, when fome lucky hit, or lucky price, 
 Has blefs'd them with " The Boke of good ad- 
 vice" 
 
 Hos pueris monitus patres infundere lippos 
 Cum videas, quaerifque unde haec fartago lo- 
 quendi 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Then blot the name of Pasquin from thy page : 
 Thou feeft it will not thy poor riff-raff fell. 
 
 Some other wouldft thou take ? I dare engage 
 John Williams, or Tom Fool, will do as 
 well. 
 
 Tony has taken my friend's advice, and now fells 
 or attempts to fell " his riff-raff" under the name of 
 John Williams. 
 
 It has been reprefented to me, that I mould do 
 well to avoid all mention of this man ; from a 
 confideration that one fo loft to every fenfe of decen- 
 cy and fhame, was a fitter object for the Beadle 
 
 D 2
 
 C 36 3 
 
 For ekes and algates only deign to feek, 
 And live upon a whilome for a week # . 
 
 And can we when fuch mope-eyed dolts are 
 plac'd 200 
 
 By thoughtlefs fafliion on the throne of tafte 
 
 Venerit in linguas ? unde istud dedecus ? 
 
 Fur es, ait Pedio. Pedius quid ? crimina rafis 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 than the Mufe. This has induced me to lay afide 
 a fecond caftigation which I had prepared for 
 him, though I do not think it expedient to omit 
 what I had formerly written. 
 
 Here on the rack of Satire let him lie, 
 Fit garbage for the hell-hound Infamy. 
 
 One word more. I am. told there are men fo 
 weak as to deprecate this miferable object's abufe, 
 and fo vain, fo defpicably vain, as to tolerate his 
 praife for fuch I have nothing but pity ; though 
 the fate of Haftings, fee the " Pin-bafket to the Chil- 
 dren of Thefpis," holds out a dreadful leflbn to the 
 latter but fhould there be a man, or a woman 
 however high their rank bafe enough to purchafe 
 the venal pen of this mifcreant for the fake of tra-
 
 C 37 3 
 Say, can we wonder whence this jargon flows, 
 This motley fuftian, neither verfe nor profe, 
 This old new language that defiles our page, 
 The refufe and the fcum of every age ? 205 
 
 Librat in antithetis ; dodtas pofuifle figuras 
 Laudatur ; bellum hoc. Hoc bellum ? An Ro- 
 mule ceves ? 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 during innocence and virtue ; then 1 was about 
 
 to ; but 'tis not neceflary : the profligate 
 
 cowards who employ Antony can know no feverer 
 punifhment than the fupport of a man whofe ac- 
 quaintance is infamy, and whofe touch is poifon. 
 
 * Others like Kemble, &c. Tho' no great Cata- 
 logue hunter, I love to look into fuch marked ones as 
 fall in my way. That of poor Dood's books amufed 
 me not a little. It exhibited many inftances of black 
 letter mania; and, what is more to my purpofe, 
 a transfer of much " trafh of ancient days," to the 
 fortunate Mr. Kemble. For example. 
 
 Firft part of the tragicall Raigne of Seli- 
 
 mus Emperour of the Turks - - - 1 n 6 
 
 D3 
 
 Q <0 xJ A Jt
 
 C 38 ] 
 Lo, Beaufoy * tells of Afric's barren fand 
 In all the flow'ry phrafe of fairy land : 
 
 Jacob and Efau, a Mery and Whittie 
 
 Comedie - - - - - 350 
 
 Look About You, a comedie - - - - 576 
 
 The tragedie of T, Nero, Rome's Greateft 
 
 Tyraunte, &c. &c. ----- - 140 
 
 How are we ruined ! 
 
 * Lo ! Beaufoy, &c. " The feet are accommodated 
 with (hoes, +, and the head is protected by a woollen 
 nightcap." 
 
 African Association, p. 139. 
 
 + Shoes. By your leave, mafter critic, here is a fmall 
 overfight in your quotation. The gentleman does not fay 
 their feet are accommodated with /hoes, but with flippers. 
 For the left, accomodate , as I learn, is a fcholar-like word, 
 and a word of exceeding great propriety. Accommodate! it 
 comes from actommodo 1 that is, when a man's feet are, as 
 they fay, accommodated ; or when they are being whereby 
 they may be thought to be accommodated : which is an 
 excellent thing. 
 
 Printer's Devil.
 
 C 39 3 
 
 There Fezzan's thrum-capp'd tribes, Turks, 
 
 Christians, Jews, 
 Accommodate, ye gods ! their feet with fhoes. 
 There meagre fhrubs inveterate mountains 
 
 grace, 210 
 
 And brufhwood breaks the amplitude of /pace. 
 Perplex'd with terms fo vague and undefin'd, 
 I blunder on ; till wilder'd, giddy, blind, 
 Where'er I turn, on clouds I feem to tread ; 
 And call for Mandeville to eafe my head. 2I<J 
 Oh for the good old times ! When all was new, 
 And every hour brought prodigies to view, 
 Our fires in unaffected language told 
 Of ftreams of amber, and of rocks of gold : 
 
 " From this fcene of gladfome contraft, i. e. from 
 the mountain of Zillau (p. 288), whofe rugged fides 
 are marked with fcanty fpots of brufhwood, and en- 
 riched with ftores of water, to the long afcent of the 
 broad rock of Gerdobah (p. 289), from whofe inflexi- 
 ble barrennefs little is to be got from this fcene, I 
 fay, of gladfome contraft to the inveterate mountains 
 of Gegogib, &c." 
 
 D 4
 
 [ 40 ] 
 Full of their theme, they fpurn'd all idle art, 220 
 And the plain tale was trufted to the heart. 
 Now all is changed ! We fume and fret, poor 
 
 elves ; 
 Lefs to difplay our fubjecl, than ourfelves : 
 Whate'er we paint a grot, a flow'r, a bird, 
 Heavens, how we fweat, laborioufly abfurd ! 225 
 Words of gigantic bulk, and uncouth found, 
 In rattling triads the long fentence bound ; 
 While points with points, with periods periods 
 
 jar, 
 And the whole work feems one continued war ! 
 Is not this fad? 
 
 F. " 'Tis pitiful, God knows, 230 
 " 'Tis wondrous pitiful." E'en take the profe ; 
 But for the poetry oh, that my friend, 
 I ftill afpire nay, fmile not to defend. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 " In the long courfe of a feven-days paflage, the 
 traveller is fcarcely fenfible that a few fpots of thin 
 and meagre brufhwood flightly interrupt the vaft 
 expanfe of flerility, and diminifh the amplitude of 
 defolation! ! I"
 
 C 4i 3 
 
 9 You praife our fires, but, though they wrote 
 
 with force, 
 Their rhymes were vicious, and their diclion 
 
 coarfe ; 235 
 
 We want thtxrjirength : agreed. But we atone 
 For that, and more, by fweetnefs all our own. 
 For instance " * Hasten to the lawny vale, 
 u Where yellow morning breathes her faffron 
 
 gale, 
 " And bathes the landfcape " 
 
 P. Pfhaw ! I have it here : 240 
 " A voice feraphic grafps my listening ear : 
 " Wond'ring I gaze ; when lo ! methought afar, 
 " More bright than dauntlefs day's imperial star, 
 " A godlike form advances." 
 
 p Sed numeris decor eft, et junclura addita 
 crudis. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Haften, &c. This and the following quotation 
 are taken from the " Laurel of Liberty," a work, on 
 which the great author moil juftly refts his claims to 
 immortality.
 
 C 4* 3 
 
 F. You fuppofe 
 Thcfe lines perhaps too turgid ; what of 
 thofe ? 245 
 
 " The mighty mother * " 
 
 P. Now 'tis plain you fneer, 
 For * Weston's felf could find no femblance 
 
 here. 
 Weston ! who flunk from truth's imperious light, 
 Swells like a filthy toad, with fecret fpite, 
 
 Ut ramale vetus praegrandi fubere codium. 
 Claudere fie verfum didicit Berecynthius Atys, 
 Et qui caeruleum dirimebat Nerea Delphin. 
 Sic coftam longo fubduximus Appennino. 
 " q Arma virum" nonne hoc fpumofum et cortice 
 pingui ? 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Wefton. This indefatigable gentleman has been 
 attacking the moral character of Pope in the Gentle- 
 man's Magazine, with all the virulence of Gildon, 
 all the impudence of Smedley, and all the ignorance 
 of Curl and his aflbciates.
 
 C 43 ] 
 And, envying the fair fame he cannot hope, 250 
 Spits his black venom at the dust of Pope. 
 Reptile accurs'd ! O memorable long, 
 If there be force in virtue or in fong, 
 O injur'd bard ! accept the grateful strain, 
 That I, the humblest of the tuneful train, 255 
 With glowing heart, yet trembling hand repay 
 For many a penfive, many a fprightly lay : 
 So may thy varied verfe, from age to age, 
 Inform the fimple, and delight the fage ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 What the views of the immaculate Sylvanus may 
 be, inftanding cap in hand, and complacently holding 
 open the door of the temple, for near two years, to 
 this * " execrable" Eroftratus, I know not. He can- 
 not fure be weak enough to fuppofe an obfcure fcrib- 
 bler like this has any charges to bring againft our great 
 poet, that efcaped the vigilant malevolence of the 
 Weftons of the Dunciad. Or if ever, from the na- 
 tural goodnefs of his heart, he cherifhed fo laudable 
 a fuppofition, he ought (whatever it may coft him) 
 to forego it : when, after twenty months, nothing is 
 produced but an exploded accufation taken from the 
 
 * Such is the epithet applied to Pope by the virtuous in- 
 dignation of this amiable traducer of worth and genius !
 
 C 44 3 
 While canker'd Wefton, and his loathfome 
 rhymes, 260 
 
 Stink in the nofe of all fucceeding times ! 
 
 Enough r . But where (for thefe, you feem to fay, 
 
 Are famples of the high, heroic lay) 260 
 
 Where are the foft, the tender (trains, that call 
 
 For the moift eye, bow'd head, and lengthen'd 
 
 drawl ? 266 
 
 1 Quidnam igitur tenerum & laxa cervice legen- 
 dum? 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 moft common edition of the Dunciad ; which, as no- 
 thing but Weftonian rancour could firft make, fo 
 nothing but Weftonian ftupidity can now revive. 
 
 It has been fuggefted to me, that this nightman 
 of literature defigns to reprint as much as can be col- 
 lected of the heroes of the Dunciad. If it be fo, the 
 dirty work of traducing Pope may be previoufly ne- 
 ceflary ; and prejudice itfelf muft own, that he has 
 fhewn uncommon penetration in the fele&ion of the 
 blind and outrageous mercenary now fo laborioufly 
 employed in it. 
 
 Whatever be the defign, the proceedings are by no 
 means inconfiftent with the plan of a work which
 
 C 45 3 
 Lo! here " *Canft thou, Matilda, urge my 
 
 fate, 
 " And bid me mourn thee ? yes, and mourn too 
 
 late! 
 " O ram, fevere decree ! my maddening brain 
 '* Cannot the ponderous agony fuftain ; 
 
 Torva Mimalloneis implerunt cornua bombis, 
 Et raptum vitulo caput ablatura fuperbo 
 Baffaris 
 
 may not unaptly be ftyled the charnel-house of 
 reputation, and which from the days of Lauder 
 to the prefent, has delighted to afperfe every thing 
 venerable amongft us which accufed Swift of luft, 
 and Addifon of drunkennefsj which infulted the 
 afhes of Toup while they were yet warm, and gib- 
 beted poor Henderfon alive ; which affected to ido- 
 lize the great and good Howard, while idolatry was 
 painful to him ; and the moment he fell, glorioufly 
 fell, in the exercife of the moft fublime virtue, at- 
 tempted to ftigmatife him as a brute and amonfter ! 
 
 * Canft thou Matilda, &c. (vide Album, vol. ii.) 
 Matilda ! ** nay then, I'll never truft a madman 
 again." It was but a few minutes fince, that Mr. 
 Merry died for the love of Laura Maria ; and now is
 
 C 4 3 
 
 " But forth I ruih, from vale to mountain 
 run, 270 
 
 " And with my mind's thick gloom obfcure the 
 fun." 
 s Heavens ! if our ancient vigour were not fled, 
 Could verse like this be written or be read ? 
 Verse ! that's the mellow fruit of toil intenfe, 
 Infpir'd by genius, and infornVd by fenfe ; 275 
 This, the abortive progeny of Pride 
 And Dulnefs, gentle pair, for aye allied ; 
 Begotten without thought, born without pains, 
 The ropy drivel of rheumatic brains. 
 
 * Hacc fierent, fi testiculi vena ulla paterni 
 Viveret in nobis ? fumma delumbe faliva, 
 Hoc natat in labris : et in udo est Mzenas et Atys ; 
 Nee pluteum caedit, nee demorfos fapit ungues. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 he going to do the fame thing for the love of Anna 
 Matilda ? 
 
 What the ladies may fay to fuch a fwain, I know not ; 
 but certainly he is too prone to run wild, die, &c. &c. 
 Such indeed is the combuflible nature of this gentleman,
 
 C 47 ] 
 F. l So let it be: and yet, methinks, my 
 friend, 280 
 
 Silence were wife, where fatire will not mend. 
 Why wound the feelings of our noble youth, 
 And grate their tender ears with odious truth ? 
 They cherifti *Arno, and his flux of fong, 
 And hate the man who tells 'em they are 
 wrong. 280 
 
 * Sed quid opus teneras mordaci radere vero 
 Auriculas ? vide lis, ne majorum tibi forte 
 
 NOTES* 
 
 that he takes fire at every female fignature in the pa- 
 pers : and I remember, that when Olaudo Equiano, 
 (who, for a black, is not ill-featured) tried his hand at 
 a foft fonnet, and by miftake fubfcribed it Olauda, Mr, 
 Merry fell fo defperately in love with him, and "yelled 
 " out fuch fyllables of dolour" in confequence of it, 
 that " the pitiful hearted" negro was frightened at the 
 mifchief he had done, and tranfmitted in all hafte the 
 
 following correction to the editor " For QlaudA, 
 
 " pleafe to read OlaudO, the black man." 
 
 * Of this /pes altera Rom<z, this fecond hope of 
 the age, the following ftanzas will afford a fufficient 
 fpecimen. They are taken from a ballad which
 
 C 4* ] 
 Thy fate already I forefee. My Lord 
 With cold refpect will freeze thee from his board ; 
 And his Grace cry, " Hence with your fapient 
 
 fneer ! 
 " Hence ! we defire no currifh critic here." 
 
 Limina frigefcant : fonat hie de nare canina 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Mr. Bell, an admirable judge of thefe matters, 
 
 calls a " very mellifluous one ; eafy, artlefs, and 
 unaffected." 
 
 Gently o'er the rifing billoivs 
 Softly fteals the bird of night, 
 
 Rujtling thro' the bending ivilloivs ; 
 Fluttering pinions mark her flight. 
 
 Whither now in filence bending, 
 Ruthlefs winds deny thee reft ; 
 
 Chilling night-deivs faft defcending 
 Gliften on thy downy breaft. 
 
 Seeking fome kind hand to guide thee, 
 
 Wiftful turns thy fearful eye ; 
 Trembling as the willows hide thee, 
 
 Sheher'd from th' inclement flcy. 
 
 The ftory of this poor owl, who was at one and 
 the fame time at fea and on land, filent and noify,
 
 C 49 3 
 P. Enough. f Thank heaven ! my error now 
 I fee, 
 And all (hall be divine henceforth for me : 
 
 Litera. f Per me equidem fint omnia protinus alba, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 flieltered and expofed, is continued through a few 
 more of thefe " mellifluous" ftanzas : which the 
 reader, I doubt not, will readily forgive me for 
 omitting; more efpecially if he reads the Oracle, 
 a paper honoured as the grateful editor very 
 properly has it by the effufions of this '* artlefs" 
 gentleman above all others. 
 
 N. B. On looking again, I find the owl to be a 
 Nightingale. N'importe. 
 
 It was faid of Theophilus Cibber (I think, by 
 Goldfmith), that as he grew older, he grew never the 
 better. Much the fame (mutatis mutandis) may be 
 faid of the gentlemen of the Baviad. After an in- 
 terval of two years, I find the " mellifluous" Arno 
 celebrating Mrs. Robinfon's Novel in (trains, like 
 thefe :
 
 C 5 3 
 Yes, Andrew's doggrell, Greathead's idiot line, 
 And Morton's catch-word, all, forfooth, di- 
 vine ! 290 
 F. 'Tis well. Here let th' indignant stricture 
 ceafe, 
 And Leeds at length enjoy his fool in peace. 
 
 Nil moror: euge, omnes, omnes bene mirae 
 
 eritis res. 
 Hoc juvat : hie iniquis, veto quifquam faxit 
 
 oletum. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 For the ORACLE. 
 SONNET to Mrs. ROBINSON, 
 Upon reading her VANCENZA. 
 
 WHAT never-ceafing Mufic ! From the throne 
 Where fweeteft Sensibility enfhrin'd 
 
 Pours out her tender triumphs, all alone 
 To every murmuring breeze of palling wind !
 
 C 51 3 
 P. Come then, around their works a circle 
 draw, 
 And near it plant the dragons of the law ; 
 With labels writ, " Critics far hence remove, 295 
 " Nor dare to cenfure what the great approve." 
 I go. * Yet Hall could la(h with noble rage 
 The purblind patron of a former age, 
 
 Pinge duos angues : pueri, facer est locus, extra 
 Mejite; sdifcedo: fecuit Lucilius urbem, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 O, bleft with all the lovely lapfe of Song, 
 That bathes with pureft balm the foften'd breaft, 
 
 I fee thee urge thy Fancy's courfe along 
 The folemn glooms of Gothic piles unbleft. 
 
 Van c en z a rifes o'er her time-touch'd fpires 
 Guilt unreveat'd hovers with killing dew, 
 
 Fruftrates the fondnefs of the Virgin's fires, 
 And bares the murderous Casket to her view. 
 
 The thrilling pulfe creeps back upon each Heart, 
 And Horror lords it by thy facinating Art. 
 
 ARNO. 
 
 Et vitula tu dignus, et h^ec ! The Novel is wor- 
 thy of the Poetry ; the Poetry of the Novel. 
 
 E 2
 
 C 5* 3 
 And laugh to fcorn th' eternal fonnetteer 
 Who made goofe- pinions and white rags fo dear. 
 Yet Oldham in his rude, unpolifh'd strain, 301 
 Could hifs the clamorous, and deride the vain, 
 Who bawl'd their rhymes inceflant thro' the 
 
 town, 
 Or brib'd the hawkers for a day's renown. 
 Whate'er the theme, with honest warmth they 
 
 wrote, 305 
 
 Nor car'd what Mutius of their freedom thought : 
 Yet profe was venial in that happy time, 
 And life had other bufinefs than to rhyme. 
 
 h And may not I now this pernicious peft, 
 This metromania, creeps thro' every breast ; 310 
 Now fools and children void their brains by loads, 
 And itching grandams fpawl lafcivious odes ; 
 
 Te Lupe, te Muti, & genuinum fregit in illis. 
 h Men' mutire nefas, nee clam, nee cum fcrobe ? 
 
 Nufquam. 
 Hie tamen infodiam. Vidi, vidi ipfe, libel le :
 
 C 53 J 
 
 Now lords and dukes, curs'd with a fickly taste, 
 While Burns' pure healthful nurture runs to 
 
 waste, 
 Lick up the fpittle of the bed rid mufe, 315 
 
 And riot on the fweepings of the stews ; 
 Say, may not I expofe 
 
 F. No 'tis unfafe. 
 Prudence my friend. 
 
 P. What ! not deride, not laugh ? 
 Well ! thought at least is free 
 
 F. O yet forbear. 
 P. Nay, then, I'll dig a pit, and bury there 
 The dreadful truth that fo alarms thy fears : 320 
 The town, the town, good pit, has 
 
 asses ears ! 
 Thou think'st perhaps, this wayward fancy 
 
 strange ; 
 So think thou still ; yet would not I exchange 
 
 Auriulas afini Mida rex habet. Hoc ego oper- 
 
 tum, 
 Hoc ridere meum tarn nil, nulla tibi vendo 
 E 3
 
 C 54 3 
 
 The fecret humour of this fimple hit 325 
 
 For all the Albums that were ever writ. 
 Of this no more. O thou (if yet there be 
 One bofom from this vile infection free) , 
 Thou who canst thrill with joy, or glow with 
 
 ire, 
 As the great masters of the fong infpire 330 
 
 Canst hang enamour'd o'er the magic page, 
 Where defperate ladies defperate lords engage, 
 Gnomes, Sylphs, and Gods the fierce contention 
 
 mare, 
 And heaven and earth hang trembling on a hair ; 
 Canft quake with horror while Emilia's charms 
 Againft a brother point a brother's arms, 335 
 And trace the fortune of the varying fray, 
 While hour on hour flits unperceived away 
 
 I Hade. Audaci quicunque afflate Cratino, 
 Iratum Eupolidem praegrandi cum fene palles, 
 Afpice & haec, fi forte aliquid decocttus audis.
 
 C 5S 3 
 
 Approach : 'twixt hope and fear I wait. O deign 
 To caft a glance on this incondite ftrain : 340 
 Here, if thou find one thought but well expreft, 
 One fentence higher finifh'd than the reft, 
 Such as may win thee to proceed awhile, 
 And fmooth thy forehead with a gracious fmile, 
 I aflc no more. ' But far from me the throng, 345 
 Who fancy fire in Laura's vapid fong, 
 Who Anna's bedlam-rant for fenfe can take, 
 And over * Edwin's mewlings keep awake ; 
 
 Inde vaporata lector mihi ferveataure, 
 
 1 Non hie, qui in crepidas Graiorum ludere geftit, 
 
 Sefe aliquem credens, Italo quod honore fupinus 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Edwin's Meivlings, &c.) We come now to a 
 character of high refpecT:, the profound Mr. T. 
 Vaughan, who, under the alluring fignature of Ed- 
 win, favours us from time to time with a melancholy 
 poem on the death of a bug, the flight of an earwig, 
 the mifcarriage of a cock-chafFer, or fome other 
 event of equal importance. 
 
 E 4
 
 C 56 3 
 Yes, far from me, whate'er their birth or place, 
 Thefe long-ear 'd judges of the Phrygian race, 350 
 
 Fregerit heminas 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 His laft work was an Ewra^Kw (bleflirvgs on his 
 learning ! ), which I take for granted means an Epi- 
 taph, on a moufe that broke her heart : and, as it 
 was a matter of great confequence, he very properly 
 made the introduction as long as the poem itfelf. 
 Hear how gravely he prologifeth : 
 
 On a tame moufe, 'which belonged to a lady nvbofa<ved 
 its life, conftantlyfed it, and even ivept, poor lady I 
 at its approaching death. The moufe'' s eyes aclually 
 dropped out of its head, poor moufe I THE DAY BE- 
 FORE IT DIED. 
 
 'Ewito^jov. 
 
 This feeling moufe whofe heart was warm'd 
 
 By Pity's pureft ray, 
 Becaufe her Miftrefs dropt a tear, 
 
 Wept both her eyes away. 
 
 By fympathy depriv'd of light, 
 She one day's darknefs tried ;
 
 C 57 3 
 Their cenfure and their praife alike I fcorn, 
 And hate the laurel by their followers worn ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 The grateful tear no more could floiX3 t 
 So lik'd it not, and died. 
 
 May we when others weep for us, 
 
 The debt with int'reft pay 
 And, when the gen'rous fonts are dry, 
 
 Revert to native clay. 
 
 EDWIN. 
 
 Mr. T. Vaughan has aflerted that he is not the 
 author of this matchlefs Enrraipiov, with fuch fpirit, 
 and retorted upon one Baviad (whom without all con- 
 troverfy the learned gentleman takes to be a man) 
 with fuch ftrength of argument, and elegance of 
 di&ion, that I mould wrong both him and the reader, 
 to give it in any words but his own. 
 
 " Well faid, Baviad the correct ! And fo the 
 profound Mr. T. Vaughan, as you politely ftyle 
 him, writes under the alluring fignature of Edwin, 
 does he ? and therefore a very proper fubjeftfor your 
 fatiric malignity ! But fuppofe for a moment, as the 
 truth and the fail is, that this gentleman never did 
 ufe that fignature upon any occafion, in whatever he 
 may have written : Do not you the identical Baviad,
 
 C 5 3 
 
 Let fuch, a talk congenial to their powers, 
 At fales and auctions waste the morning hours, 
 
 His mane edidlum, port prandia Calliroen do. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 in that cafe, for your unprovoked abufe of him, im- 
 mediately fall under your own character of that 
 Nightman of Literature you fo liberally aflign Wef- 
 ton ? And like him too, if there is any truth in what 
 you fay or write, do you not 
 
 Swell like a filthy toad with fecret fpite ? 
 
 The ayes have it. And mould you not be as well 
 verfed in your favourite Author's Fourth Satire, as 
 you are in the Firft, with your leave, I will quote from 
 it rwo emphatic lines : 
 
 ** Into themfelves how few, how few defcend, 
 And act, at home, the free impartial friend ! 
 " None fee their own, but all with ready eye 
 " The pendent wallet on a neighbour fpy ; 
 " And like a Baviad will recount his fliame, 
 " Tacking his very errors to bis name." 
 
 Oracle, 12th Jan.
 
 C 59 3 
 
 Wile the dull noon away in Christie's fane, 355 
 And fnore the evening out at Drury lane ; 
 Lull'd by the twang of Benfley's nafal note, 
 And the hoarfe croak of Kemble's foggy throat. 
 
 NOTES; 
 
 And, to ivhofe name fhould they be tacked, but the 
 author's ? Let not the reader, however, imagine the 
 abfurdity to proceed from Perfius, or his ingenious 
 translator. M The truth and the facT: is," that our 
 learned brother, having a fmall change to make in 
 the two laft lines, blundered them with his ufual 
 acutenefs into nonfenfe. He is not much more happy 
 when he calls Weston " the Nightman of Litera- 
 ture." But when a gentleman does not know what 
 he writes, it is a little hard upon him to expecl: he 
 fhould know what he reads. After all Edwin or 
 not, our egregious friend is (till the profound Mr. 
 T. Vaughan.
 
 THE 
 
 MjEVIAD. 
 
 Qui Bavium non odit, amet tua carmina M.svi
 
 C 63 3 
 
 I 
 
 N the Introduction to the preceding 
 pages, I have given a brief account of the rife 
 and progrefs of that fpurious fpecies of poetry, 
 which lately infefted this metropolis, and gave 
 occafion to the Baviad. 
 
 I was not ignorant of what I expofed myfelf 
 to, by the publication of that work. If abufe 
 could have affected me, I mould not probably 
 have made a fet of people my enemies, habi- 
 tuated to ill language, and pofTerTed of fuch 
 convenient vehicles* for its diflemination. But 
 
 * Moft of thefe faftiionable writers were connected 
 with the public prints. Delia Crufca was a worthy
 
 C 6 4 ] 
 I never regarded it from fuch hands ; and, 
 indeed, deprecated nothing but their praife. I 
 refpedt, in common with every man of fenfe, 
 the cenfure of the wife and good : but the 
 angry ebullitions of folly unmafked, and vanity 
 mortified, pafs by me, " like the idle wind ;" 
 or, if noticed, ferve merely to grace fome fuc- 
 ceeding edition of the Baviad. 
 
 I confefs, however, that the work was received 
 more favourably than I expected. Bell, indeed, 
 and a few others, whofe craft I had touched, 
 vented their indignation in profe, and verfe : but, 
 on the whole, the clamour againft me was not 
 loud ; and was loft by infenfible degrees in the 
 applaufes of fuch as I was truly ambitious to 
 pleafe. 
 
 coadjutor of the mad and malignant idiot who con- 
 ducted the World. Arno, and Lorenzo, were either 
 proprietors or editors of another paper. Edwin and 
 Anna Matilda, were favoured contributors to feveral, 
 and Laura Maria from the fums ftie fquandered on 
 puffs, could command a corner in all.
 
 C 5 ] 
 
 Thus fupported, the good effects of the fatire 
 (gloriose loquor) were not long in manifefting 
 themfelves. Delia Crufca appeared no more in 
 the Oracle, and, if any of his followers ventured 
 to treat the town with a foft fonnet, it was not, 
 as before, introduced by a pompous preface. 
 Pope and Milton refumed their fuperiority ; and 
 Efteand his coadjutors, lilently acquiefced in the 
 growing opinion of their incompetency, and 
 (hewed fome fenfe of (hame. 
 
 With this I was fatisned. I had taken up my 
 pen for no other end : and was quietly retiring, 
 with the idea that I had u done the ftate fome 
 fervice ;" and purpofing to abandon for ever the 
 caeftus, which a refpeclable critic fancies I wielded 
 " with too much feverity" ; when I was once 
 more called into the lifts*, by the re-appearance 
 of fome of the fcattered enemy. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * I hope no one will do me the injuftice to fuppofe 
 that I imagine myfelf another Hercules, contend- 
 ing with Hydras, &c. Far from it. My enemies 
 F
 
 C 66 ] 
 It was not enough that the ftream of folly 
 flowed more fparingly in the Oracle than before ; 
 I was determined 
 
 To have the current in that place damm'd up ; 
 
 And accordingly began the prefent poem for 
 which, indeed, I had by this time other reafons. 
 I had been told that there were Hill a few admi- 
 rers of the Crufcan fchool, who thought the con- 
 tempt I (hewed for it not fufEciently juftified by 
 the few paffages I had produced. To filence thefe 
 
 MOTES. 
 
 cannot well have an humbler opinion of me, than 
 I have of myfelf ; and yet " if I am not aftiamed 
 of them, I am a foufed gurnet." Mere pecora 
 inertia ! The conteft is without danger, and the 
 victory without glory. At the fame time I declare 
 againft any undue advantage being taken of thefe 
 conceflions. Though I knew the impotence of 
 thefe literary Afkaparts, the town did not : and many 
 a man, who now affetts to pity me for wafting my 
 ftrength upon unrefifting imbecility, would, not long 
 fince, have heard their poems with applaufe, and 
 their praifes with delight.
 
 C 67 3 
 objections therefore, I thought it beft to exhibit 
 the tribe of Bell once more ; and, as they patted 
 in review before me, to make fuch additional 
 extracts* from their works, as mould put their de- 
 merits beyond the power of future queftion. 
 
 I remembered that this gentleman in his ex- 
 cellent remarks on the Baviad, had charged the au- 
 thor with "befpattering nearly all the poetical emi- 
 nence of the day." Anxious, therefore, to do 
 impartial justice, I ran for the Album, to dis- 
 cover whom I had fpared. Here I read, "In 
 this collection are names whom Genius will ever 
 
 look upon as its beji fupporters ! Sheridan" 
 
 what is " Saul alfo among the Prophets ! 
 Sheridan, Merry, Parfons, Cowley, Andrews, 
 Jerningham, Colman, Topham, Robinfon, &c." 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * I know it will faid that I have done it, ufque 
 ad naufeam. I confefs it ; and for the reafon given 
 above. And yet I can honeftly affure the reader, 
 that moft, if not all, of the trafli I have quoted, patted 
 with the authors for fuperlative beauties ; every fe- 
 cond word being printed either in italics, or capitals. 
 F2
 
 C 68 3 
 
 Thus furnifhed with " all" the poetical emi- 
 nence of the day, I proceeded, as Mr. Bell fays, 
 to befpatter it; taking for the vehicle of my 
 defign, a Satire of Horace to which I was led 
 by its fupplying me (amidft many happy allu- 
 fions) with an opportunity, I was not unwilling to 
 feize, of briefly noticing the prefent wretched 
 ftate of dramatic poetry*. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * I know not if the ftage has been fo low, fince the 
 days of Gamraar Gurton, as at this hour. It feems 
 as if all the blockheads in the kingdom had ftarted 
 up, and exclaimed, una voce, Come ! let us write for 
 the theatres. In this there is nothing, perhaps al- 
 together new ; the ftriking and peculiar novelty of 
 the times feems to be, that all * they write is re- 
 ceived. Of the three parties concerned in this bufi- 
 nefs, the writers and the managers feem the leaft cul- 
 
 * I recolleft but two exceptions. Merry's idiotical 
 Opera, and Mrs. Robinfon's more idiotical Farce. To 
 have failed where O'Keefe fucceeded, argues a degree of 
 ftupidity fcarcely credible. Surely " ignorance itfclf is a 
 planet" over the heroes and heroines of the Baviad 1
 
 C <J 9 3 
 When the M^eviad (fo I call the prefent 
 poem) was nearly brought to a conclufion, I laid 
 it afide. The times feemed unfavourable to fuch 
 productions. Events of real importance were 
 momentarily claiming the attention of the public ; 
 and the ftill voice of the mufes was not likely to 
 be liftened to amidft the din of arms. After an 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 pable. If the town will have hufks, extraordinary 
 pains need not be taken to find them any thing more 
 palatable. But what fhall we fay of the town 
 itfelf! The lower orders of the people are fo 
 brutified by the lamentable follies of O'Keefe, and 
 Cobbe, and Pillon, and I know not who Sardi 
 venales, each worfe than the other that they have 
 loft all relifh for fimplicity and genuine humour : 
 nay, ignorance itfelf, unlefs it be grofs and glaring, 
 cannot hope for " their mofl: fweet voices." And 
 the higher ranks are fo mawkifhly mild, that they 
 take with a placid fimper whatever comes before 
 them : or, if they now and then experience a flight 
 fit of difguft, have not refolution enough to exprefs 
 it, but fit yawning and gaping in each others faces 
 for a little encouragement in their pitiful for- 
 bearance. 
 
 F3
 
 C 70 3 
 interval of two years, however, circumftances, 
 which it is not material to mention, have induced 
 me to finim, and truft it, without more preface, 
 to the candour to which I am already fo highly 
 indebted for the warm reception of the Baviad. 
 
 I mould here conclude this introduction, al- 
 ready too long ; were it not for the fake of notic- 
 ing the ftrange inconliftency of the town. I hear 
 that I am now breaking butterflies upon wheels ! 
 There was a time (it was when the Baviad firfl: 
 appeared) that thefe butterflies were Eagles, and 
 their obfeure and defultory flights, the object of 
 univerfal envy and admiration. They are yet fo 
 with too many : and furely no one can wifh an- 
 other to continue under the infatuation from 
 which himfelf is happily free, for want of a 
 little additional exertion !
 
 C 71 ] 
 
 THE 
 
 M^EVIAD. 
 
 YES, I did fay that Crufca's * " true fublime" 
 Lacked tafte, and fenfe, and every thing but 
 rhyme ; 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 Horace, Sat. 10. Lib. 1. 
 
 V. 1. Nempe incompofito dixi pede currere 
 verfus 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Crufca's " true fublime." The words between 
 inverted commas in this, and the following verfes, 
 
 F 4
 
 I W 3 
 
 That Arno's " cafy ftrains" were coarfe and 
 
 rough, 
 And Edwin's " matchlefs numbers" woeful fluff. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 Lucili. Quis tarn Lucill fautor inepte eft, 
 Ut non hoc fateatur ? 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 arc Mr. Bell's. They contain, as the reader fees, 
 a fliort charafter of the works to which they are 
 refpeftively affixed. Though I have the misfortune 
 to differ from this gentleman in the prefent inftances, 
 yet I obferve fuch acutenefs of perception in his ge- 
 neral criticifm, that I mould have ftiled him the 
 * profound" inftead of the " gentle " Bell ; if I 
 had not previously applied the epithet to a ftill 
 greater man, (abfit invidia di&o) to Mr. T. 
 Vaughan. 
 
 I truft this incidental preference will create no jea- 
 loufy for though, as Virgil properly remarks, " An 
 oaken ftaff each merits;" yet I need not inform a 
 gentleman, who, like Mr. Bell, reads Shakefpeare 
 every day after dinner, that " if two men ride upon 
 a horfe, one of them muft ride behind."
 
 C 73 3 
 
 And who forgive, O gentle Bell ! the word, 5 
 
 For it muft out who, prithee, fo abfurd, 
 
 So mulifhly abfurd, as not to join 
 
 In this with me; fave always thee, and 
 
 thine ! 
 Yet ftill, the soul of candour! I allow'd 
 Their jingling elegies amufed the croud ; 10 
 
 That lords and dukes hung blubbering o'er each 
 
 line, 
 That lady-critics wept, and cried " divine !" 
 That love-lorn priefts reclined the penfive head, 
 And fentimental enfigns, as they read, 
 Wiped the fad drops of pity from their eye, 15 
 And burft between a hiccup and a figh. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 10, &c. At idem quod fale multo 
 
 Urbem defricuit, charta laudatur eadem. 
 
 Nee tamen hoc tribuens dederim quoque caetera : 
 
 nam fie 
 Et Laberl minos, ut pulchra poemata mirer.
 
 C 74 J 
 Yet, not content, like horfe-leeches they come, 
 And fplit my head with one eternal hum 
 For " more! more! more!" Away! For 
 
 mould I grant 
 The full, the unreferved applaufe, ye want, 2o 
 St. John * might then my partial voice accufe, 
 And claim my fuffrage for his tragic mufe ; 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 17. The horfe-leech has two daughters, 
 crying, " Give ! give !" 
 
 Proverbs. 
 
 * St. John, &c. Having already obferved in the 
 Introdudtion that the Maeviad was nearly finiftied two 
 years fince, and confequently before the death of this 
 gentleman ; I have only to add here, that though I 
 mould not have introduced into it any of the heroes 
 of the Baviad, quorum Flaminia tegitur cinis, atque 
 Latina, yet I fcarce think it neceflary to make any 
 changes for the fake of omitting fuch as have parted 
 ad plures, in the interval between writing and pub- 
 liming.
 
 C 75 ] 
 And Greathead *, rifing from his fhort difgrace, 
 Fling the forgotten " Regent" in my face ; 
 Bid me my cenfure, as I may, deplore, 
 And like my brother critics cry " Encore !" 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 The reader will find (v. 235) another inftance of my 
 fmall pretenfions to prophecy ; and probably regret 
 it more than the prefent. 
 
 * Greathead's Regent. Of this tragedy, which 
 was recommended to the world in more than one 
 refpeclable publication, as U the work of a scholar," 
 I want words to exprefs my opinion. The plot of 
 it was childifh, the conduct abfurd, the language 
 unintelligible, the thoughts falfe and confufed, the 
 metaphors incongruous, the general ftyle groveling 
 and bafe, and, to fum up all in a word, the whole 
 piece the moft execrable abortion of ftupidity that 
 ever difgraced the ftage. 
 
 It is to be wifhed that Reviewers, fenfible of the 
 influence their opinions neceflarily have on the pub- 
 lic tafte, could divert themfelves of their partialities, 
 when they fit down to the execution of, what I hope 
 they confider as, their folemn duty. We ftiould 
 not then find them, as in the inftance before us, re- 
 commending a work to favour, deferving univerfal 
 reprobation and contempt.
 
 C 7* 3 
 Alas, my learned friends ! for learn 'd ye are, 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 27. Ergo non fatis eft rifu diducere rictum 
 Auditoris ; & eft quaedam tamen hie quoque 
 virtus. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 This is perhaps requiring too much ; as it fup- 
 pofes them not poflTeffed of the feelings of other 
 men. And yet on confidering the importance of 
 the office they have aflumed, and the good or evil 
 they have the means of difpenfing I have on more 
 than one occafion lamented that they were 
 
 44 No more but even mortals, and commanded 
 By fuch poor paffions as the maid that milks, 
 And does the meanefi: chares." 
 
 It is but fair to obferve, however, that Mr. Par- 
 fons has added his all-fufficient fuffrage to that of 
 the Reviewers, in favour of Mr. Greathead's 
 abilities. 
 
 44 O bard ! to whom belongs 
 Each pureft fount of poefy !
 
 C 77 3 
 As Bell will fay, or, if ye afk it, fwear ; 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Who old Ilyflus' hallowed dews 
 In his own Avon dares infufe. 
 O favoured clime ! O happy age ! 
 That boafts to fave a finking ftage" 
 A Greathead ! ! ! 
 
 Gent. Mag. 
 
 When I read thefe, and other high founding praifes, 
 fcattered over Reviews, Magazines, Newfpapers, and 
 I know not what, without having feen any thing but 
 the Regent ; I was naturally led to fufpet that Mr. 
 G. had fucceeded better in his fmaller pieces, and 
 thus juftified in fome degree the cry of his ** learn- 
 ing, &c." But no. All was a blank ! 
 
 Here follow a few famples of the " Ilyflean dews 
 infufed by Mr. Greathead into his own Avon" 
 muddied, I fuppofe, and debafed by the home-bred 
 ftreamlets of one Shakefpeare. 
 
 " In fuller prefence we defcry 
 Mid mountain rocks a deity 
 Than eye of man mail e'er behold 
 In living grace of fculptur'd gold *
 
 C 78 3 
 'Tis not enough (though this be fomewhat too, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 I would give fomething to know this " learned 
 gentleman's 1 ' idea of fculpturing. In the Regent, 
 he talks of a " Sculptor's kneading docile clay ! ! !" 
 
 More matter for a May morning ! 
 
 Ode on Apathy. 
 
 " Accurs'd be dull lethargic Apathy, 
 Whether at eve fhe liftlefs ride 
 In fluggifh car by tortoife drawn 
 With mimic air of fenfelefs pride, 
 
 She feebly throws on all her withering fight, 
 While too obfervant of her fway 
 Unmark'd her droning fubjects lie, 
 Alike to her who murmur or obey. 
 I hope the reader underftands it. 
 
 * Mr. Parfons fays " thefe lines are not Gieathcad's." 
 Bat they are publifhed with his name in the Album ; which 
 exclufive of their flupidity, is fufficient authority for me. 
 If our doughty critic choofes to take them to himfelf, I can 
 have no objection; for, after all, pugna eft de paupere regno!
 
 C 79 ] 
 And more perhaps* than Jerningham can do) 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Ode to Duel. 
 
 " Never didft thoa appear 
 
 While Tiber's fons gave law to all the world ; 
 
 Yet much they loved to defolate and (laughter, 
 
 Carthage atteft my words 
 
 To glut their fanguinary rage, 
 
 Not citizens but gladiators fall. 
 
 Slavery and vaflfalage, 
 
 And favage broils, 'twixt nobles are no more. 
 
 Vanifti thou likewife " 
 
 And thefe are Odes, good heavens! " After the 
 manner of Pindar," I take for granted. 
 
 But enough of Mr. G. whom I hefitate not to 
 pronounce, with all his " fcholarfliip," as ignorant 
 a man as any in the three kingdoms. I have only 
 to add, that I am actuated by no perfonal diflike 
 of Mr. G.; for I can fay with the greateft truth 
 (what indeed I can of all the heroes of the Mae- 
 viad) that I have not the flighteft knowledge of him. 
 But the daws have ftrutted too long : it is more 
 than time to firip them of their adventitious plum- 
 age ; and if, in doing it, I fhall pluck oft any fea- 
 thers Which originally belonged to them, they have 
 only to thank their own vanity, or the forward- 
 nefs of their injudicious friends. 
 
 * And more perhaps than Jerningham can do. 
 No j Mr. Jerningham has lately written a Tragedy
 
 C so 3 
 'Tis not enough to dole out Ahs ! and Ohs ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 and a Farce ; both extremely well fpoken of by 
 the Reviewers, and both gone to the " paftry- 
 cooks." 
 
 I thought I underftood fomething of faces ; but 
 I muft read my Lavater over again I find. That a 
 gentleman with the " phyfiognomie d'un mouton 
 qui rtlve," mould fuddenly ftart forth a new Tyrtaeus, 
 and pour a dreadful note thro' a cracked war- 
 trump, amazes me Well; Fronti nulla fides 
 fhall henceforth be my motto ! 
 
 In the pride of his heart Mr. J. has taken the 
 inftrument from his mouth, and given me a fmart 
 ftroke on the head with it : this is fair, 
 
 Casdimus, inque vicem praebemus crura fagittis. 
 
 He has alfo levelled a deadly blow at a gentleman, 
 who moft afluredly never dreamed of having our 
 Drawcanfir for an antagonist : this, though not quite 
 fo fair, is not altogther unprecedented j 
 
 An eagle towering in his pride of place, 
 Was by a moufing owl hawked at ! 
 
 There is a trait of fcholarfhip in Mr. Jerningham's 
 laft poem, which mould not be overlooked ; more
 
 [ 8i ] 
 
 Through Kemble's thorax*, or through Benfley's 
 nofe ; 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 efpecially as it is the only one. Having occafion to 
 mention " Agave and her infant *," he fubjoirts 
 the following explanation : " Alluding to Agave, 
 who in a dilirium flew her child. See Ovid." No, 
 I'll take Mr. Jerningham's word for it, though I had 
 twenty Ovids before me. 
 
 * Kemble's thorax . * hiatus valde deflendus 
 * * * But why mention Mr. Benfley ? Why not i 
 Is not Mr. Benfley a public man, and his muffling an 
 Object of public concern? But Mr. Benfley is a good 
 man ; and perfett in every duty of life. I am glad 
 of it from my foul ; and, if I were on the topic of 
 private virtues, would be the firft to praife him. But 
 this is from the purpofe. While I only follow the 
 fair ground of public criticifm, I know of no ftatute, 
 political or moral, which forbids my faying to Mr. 
 Benfley, or any other man whofe nofe I diilike, 
 
 Exi 
 
 Jam gravis es nobis, & faspe emungeris j Exi 
 Ocyus & propera 
 
 * Sec his " Peace, Ignominy, and Deftruftion," Page 15,
 
 C 82 3 
 
 To fill our ftage with fcaffolds, or to fright 
 Our wives with rapes, repeated thrice a night, 
 
 Judges Not fuch as felf-created, fit 35 
 
 On that tremendous bench* which fkirtsthe 
 
 pit, 
 Where idle Thefpis nods, while Arnot dreams 
 Of Nereids " purling in ambrofial ftreams ;** 40 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * When this was written, (which was while the 
 Opera Houfe was ufed for plays) the u learned juf- 
 ticers" here enumerated, together with others not 
 yet taken, were accuftomed to flock nightly to this 
 bench, from which the unlettered vulgar were al- 
 ways fcornfully repelled with an OYAE1S. AMOYZOE. 
 
 I have not heard whether the New Theatre be 
 pofleffed of fuch a one : I think not ; for critics are 
 no more gregarious than fpiders. Like them, they 
 might do great things in concert, but, like them too, 
 they ufually end with devouring one another. 
 
 f Arno. The dreams of this gentleman, which 
 continue to make their appearance in the Oracle, un-
 
 C 83 3 
 
 Where Efte in rapture cons fantaftic airs, 
 " Old Piftol new-revived" in Topham flares, 
 And Bofwell, aping with prepofterous pride 
 Johnfon's worft frailties, rolls from fide to fide, 
 His heavy head from hour to hour eredts, 45 
 
 Affedts the fool, and is what he affedts * 
 
 Judges of truth and fenfe, yet more demand : 
 That art to nature lend a helping hand ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 der the name of Thefpis, are not always of Nereids. 
 He dreamed one night that Mr. Pope played Pofthu- 
 mus with lefs fpirit than ufual ; and it was Mr. John- 
 fon finging Grammachre ! Another night, that the 
 Mourning Bride might have been better caft, and 
 lo ! it was the Comedy of Errors that was played ! ! F 
 
 This was rather unfortunate : but the reader muft 
 have already obferved, from the ftrange occupations 
 of thefe '* felf-created judges" (which I have faith- 
 fully defcribed) that, fleeping or waking, they were 
 attentive to every thing but what pafled before their 
 eyes. 
 
 * Pauper videri Cotta vult, et eft pauper ! 
 
 G 2
 
 C 84 3 
 That fables well devifed, be fimply told, 
 Correct if new, and probable if old. 
 
 When Mafon leads Elfrida forth to view, 
 Adorn 'd with virtues which fhe never knew, 
 I feel for every tear ; while born along 
 By the full tide of unrefifted fong, 
 I flop not to enquire if all be juft, 
 But take her goodnefs, as her grief, on trust ; 
 'Till calm reflection checks me, and I fee 
 The heroine as me was, and ought to be, 
 A bold, bad woman, wading to the throne 
 Thro' feas of blood, and crimes till then un- 
 known : 60 
 Then, then I hate the magic that deceived, 
 And blufh to think how fondly I believed *. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Mr. Parfons' note on this paflage is " Did 
 you believe ! Could you poflibly be fo ignorant ?" . 
 Even fo. But I humbly conceive Mr. Mafon, who 
 feduced my unfufpefting youth, is equally culpa- 
 ble with myfelf. There is alfo one William Shakef-
 
 C 85 3 
 Not fo, when Atheling*, made in fome strange 
 
 plot 
 The hero of a day that knew him not, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 peare, who, I am ready to take my [oath, is a no- 
 torious offender in this way ; having led not only 
 me, but divers others, into the mod grofs and ridi- 
 culous errors ; making us laugh, cry, and I know 
 not what, for perfons whom we ought to have known 
 to be mere non-entities. 
 
 But Mr. Parsons has happily obtained an obdu- 
 rate and impaflible head : let him, therefore, " give 
 God thanks, and make no boaft of it." He is a wife 
 and a wary reader, and follows the moil judicious Bot- 
 tom, who, having like himfelf, too much fagacity to 
 be impofed upon by a feigned character, was laudably 
 anxious to undeceive the world. No," quoth he, 
 '* let him thruft his face through the lion's neck, and 
 fay, If you think I come hither as a lion, it were 
 
 pity of my life no, I am no fuch thing : I am a 
 
 man, as other men are ; and then, indeed, let him 
 name his name, and tell them plainly that he is Snug 
 the joiner." 
 
 * Atheling. See the Battle of Haftings. A tra- 
 gedy in which Mr. Cumberland has contrived with 
 
 G 3
 
 C 8* ] 
 Struts from the field his enemy had won, 65 
 
 On stately stilts, exulting and undone ! 
 Here I can only pity, only fmile ; 
 Where not one grace, one elegance of style, 
 Redeems the audacious folly of the rest, 
 Truth facrificed, and history made a jest. 70 
 
 Let this, Ye Crufcans*, if your heads be 
 made 
 " Of penetrable stuff," let this perfuade 
 Your hufky tribes their wanderings to restrain, 
 Nor hope what taste and Mafon failed to gain. 
 
 matchlefs dexterity, to introduce every abfurdity of 
 every kind. 
 
 * Ye Crufcans ! 
 
 O voi, che della Crusca vi chiamate 
 
 Come quei che farina non avendo 
 
 Di <yjELLA a tutto pafto vi faziate !
 
 i 7 3 
 
 Then let your style be brief, your meaning 
 clear, 75 
 
 Nor, like Lorenzo*, tire the labouring ear 
 With a wild waste of words ; found without 
 
 fenfe, 
 And all the florid glare of impotence. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 75. Eft brevitate opus, ut currat fententia, 
 neufe 
 Impediat verbis laflas onerantibus aures ; 
 Et fermone opus eft modo trifti faepe jocofo. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Lorenzo. " A lamentable tragedy by Delia 
 Crufca, mixed full of pleafant mirth." The 
 houfe laughed a-good at it; but Mr. Harris 
 cried fadly. Here is another inftance, if it were 
 wanted, of the bad effects of proftitute applaufe. 
 Could this gentleman, if his mind had not been pre- 
 vioufly warped by the eternal puffs of Bell and his 
 followers, have fuppofed, for a moment, that a 
 knack of ftringing together " hoar hills" and 
 ** ripling rills," and " red fkies glare" and " thin, 
 thin air," qualified a man for writing tragedy ! 
 
 G 4
 
 C sg 3 
 Still with your characters your language change,8o 
 From grave to gay, as nature dictates range ; 
 Now droop in all the plaintivenefs of woe, 
 Now in glad numbers light and airy flow, 
 Now make the stage with guilt's alarming tone, 
 And make the aching bofom all your own ; 
 
 Now But I fing in vain ; from firft to laft, 85 
 
 Your joy is fustian, and your grief bombast : 
 Rhetoric has baniflied reafon ; kings and queens 
 Vent in hyperboles their royal fpleens ; 
 Guardfmen in metaphors exprefs their hopes, 
 And maidens in white linen howl in tropes. 90 
 
 Reverent I greet the bards of other days. ' 
 Blest be your names ! and lasting be your praife ! 
 From nature's varied face ye wifely drew, 
 And following ages owned the copies true. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 91. Illi fcripta quibus comcedia prifca 
 viris eft 
 Hoc ftabant, hoc funt imitandi
 
 C 89 ] 
 O ! had our fots, who rhyme with headlong 
 
 haste, or 
 
 And think reflection still a foe to taste, 
 But brains your pregnant fcenes to understand, 
 And give us truth, tho' but at fecond hand, 
 'Twere fomething yet! But no; they never 
 
 look 
 
 Shall fouls of fire, they cry, a tutor brook ? 100 
 Forbid it infpiration ! Thus your pain 
 Is void, and ye have lived for them in vain ; 
 In vain for Crufca, and his flopping fchool, 
 Cobbe, Reynolds, Andrews, and that Nobler 
 
 Fool ; 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 103. quos neque pulcher 
 
 Hermogenes unquam legit, nee fimius ifte, 
 Nil praeter Calvum doctus cantare Catullum.
 
 C 90 3 
 Who nought but Laura's* tinkling trafh ad- 
 mire, 105 
 And the mad jangle of Matilda's * lyre. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Laura's tinkling trafh, &c. I had amafled a 
 world of this " tinkling trafh" for the behoof of the 
 reader ; but having fortunately for him, miflaid it, 
 and not being difpofed to undertake again the drud- 
 gery of wading through Mr. Bell's collections, I can 
 only offer him the little that occurs to my memory. 
 Of this little, the merits muft be fhared among Mrs. 
 Robinfon, Mrs. Cowley, and Mr. Merry. 
 
 Et vos, O Lauri, carpam, & teproxima, Myrte, 
 Sic pofitae quoniam fuaves mifcetis odores. 
 
 O let me fly 
 
 Where greenland darknefs drinks the beamy 
 fky ! 
 
 But oh ! beware how thou doft fling 
 Thy hot pulfe o'er the quivering firing ! ! ! 
 
 Pluck from their dark and rocky bed 
 The yelling demons of the deep, 
 
 Who foaring o'er the comet's head, 
 The bofom of the welkin fweep.
 
 C 91 3 
 But Crufca ftill has merit, and may claim 
 No humble ftation in the ranks of fame ; 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 107. At magnum fecit, quod verbis Graeca 
 Latinis 
 Mifcuit. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 And when the jolly full moon laughs, 
 
 In her clear zenith to behold 
 
 The envious ftars withdraw their gleams of 
 
 gold, 
 'Tis to thy health me ftooping quaffs 
 The fapphire cup that fairy zephyrs bring ! ! 1 
 
 On confidering thefe and the preceding lines, I was 
 tempted to indulge a wifh that the blue-ftocking club 
 would iflue an immediate order to Mr. Bell, to ex- 
 amine the cells of Bedlam. Certainly, if an accu- 
 rate tranfcript were made from the " darken'd walls" 
 once or twice a quarter, an Album might be prefent- 
 ed to the fafliionable world, more poetical, and far 
 more rational, than any they have lately honoured 
 with their applaufe.
 
 C 9* 3 
 He taught us first the language to refine, 
 To croud with beauties every fparkling line ; no 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Why does thy ftream of ftveetejl fong 
 Foam on the mountain's murmuring fide, 
 Or through the vocal covert glide ! 
 
 I heard a tuneful phantom in the wind, 
 
 I faw it watch the rifing moon afar 
 
 Wet with the weeping of the twilight ftar. 
 
 The pilgrim who with tearful eye fhall view 
 The moon's wan luftre in the midnight dew, 
 Sooth/ d by her light. 
 
 This is an admirable reafon for his crying : but 
 what ! Un fot trouve toujours un plus fot qui Padmire. 
 Mr. Bell is in raptures with it, and very properly 
 recommends it to the admiration of Merry, as being 
 the production of u a congenial foul." There is 
 alfo another judicious critic, one Dr. Talker (fhould 
 it not be Dr. Trufler?) who has given a decided 
 opinion, it feems, in favour of this lady's abilities ; 
 which may confole her for the fneers of fifty fuch 
 envious fcribblers as the author of the Baviad. 
 
 And firft you fhall hear what Mrs. Robinfon fays 
 of Dr. Talker.*" The learned and ingenious Dr.
 
 C 93 ] 
 Old phrafes with new meanings to difpenfe, 
 Amufe the fancy, and Confound the fenfe : 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Tafker, in the third volume of his elegant and c rl- 
 tical works, has pronounced fomeof Mrs. Robin- 
 fon's poems fuperior to thofe of Milton on the fame 
 fubjedt, particularly her addrefs to the nightingale ! 
 The praifes of fo competent and dljxnterefted a judge 
 stamps celebrity that neither time nor envy can 
 obliterate ! ! ! 
 
 Oracle, Dec; 10. 
 
 Next you fhall hear what Dr. Tafker fays of Mrs. 
 Robinfon. 
 
 u In antient Greece by two fair forms were feen 
 
 Wifdom's Item goddefs, and Love's fmiling queen, 
 
 Pallas prefided over arms and arts, 
 
 And Venus over gentle virgins' hearts, 
 
 But now both powers in one fair form combine, 
 
 And in famed Robinfon united fliine. 
 
 This lady, equally celebrated in the polite and 
 literary circles, has honoured Mr. Lo ! the Dr. is 
 dwindled into plain Mr. has honoured Mr. Talker's 
 poetical and other productions with high and diftin- 
 guilhed marks of her approbation !" 
 
 Exeter Paper, Jan. 16.
 
 C 94 3 
 O, void of rcafon ! Is it thus you praife 
 A linfey-woolfey fong, framed with fuch eafe, 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 1 13 116. O fcri ftudiorum ! quinc 
 
 putetis 
 Difficileet mirum,R.HODio quod Pitholeonti 
 Contigit. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Why this is the very fong of Prodicus y> yi^ t*i 
 
 Xupx xmm for the reft, I truft my readers will 
 
 readily fubfcribe to the praifes thefe moft " compe- 
 tent and difinterefted judges" have reciprocally la- 
 vished on each other. 
 
 But allons, 
 
 My hand at night's fell noon 
 
 Plucks from the trefles of the moon 
 A fparkling crown of filv'ry hue, 
 Befprent with ftuds of frozen dew ! 
 
 On the dizzy height inclined 
 
 I liften to the palling 'Wind 
 
 That loves my mournful fong to feize, 
 
 And bears it to the mountain breeze.
 
 C 95 3 
 
 Such vacancy of thought, that every line 115 
 Might tempt e'en Vaug han towhifper, " this 
 is mine ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Here we find that liftening to the wind, and finging to 
 it are one and the fame thing ; and that but I can 
 make nothing of the reft. 
 
 When in black obtrufive clouds 
 
 The chilly moon her pale cheek fhrouds, 
 
 I mark the twinkly ftarring train 
 
 Exulting glitter in her wane, 
 
 And proudly gleam their borrowed light 
 
 To gem the fombre dome of night. 
 
 What an admirable obferver of nature is this great 
 poetefs ! The ftar twinkling in a cloudy night, and 
 gleaming its borrowed luftre is fuperlative. I had 
 almoft forgot to obferve that thefe, and the preceding 
 lines, are taken from the Ode to the Nightingale ; fo 
 fuperior, in the reverend judgment of Dr. Talker, 
 to one of a Mr. John Milton on the fame fubjett. 
 
 the lightning's rays 
 
 Leap through the night's fcarce pervious gloom, 
 Attracted by (what, for a ducat ?) 
 Attracted by the rofes bloom ! ! !
 
 C 96 ] 
 Vaughan! well remembered. He good 
 man complains 
 That I affixed his name to Edwin's* ftrains : 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Let but thy lyre impatient feize 
 Departing twilight's filmy breeze, 
 That winds the inchanting chords among 
 In lingering labyrinths of fong. 
 
 See in the clouds its mart the proud bark laves, 
 Scorning the aid of ocean's humble waves ! 
 From this it appears that Mrs. Cowley fancies proud 
 barks float on their mafts. It is proper to mention 
 that the veflel takes fuch extraordinary ftate on her- 
 felf, becaufe flie carries Delia Crufca ! 
 
 from a young grove's ftiade 
 
 Whofe infant boughs but mock the expecting 
 
 glade ! ! ! 
 Sweet founds ftole forth, upborn upon the gale, 
 Prefs'd thro' the air, and broke upon the vale ; 
 
 Then filent walked the breezes of the plain, 
 Or foared aloft, and feiz'd the hovering flrain. 
 
 Delia Crufca. 
 The force of folly can no farther go !
 
 I 97 1 
 'Tis juft for what three kindred fouls have 
 
 done, 
 Is most unfairly charged, I ween, on one. 1 20 
 Pardon, my learned friend ! With wat'ry eyes 
 Thy growing fame to truth I facrifice ; 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Edwin's ltrains. If the reader will turn to the 
 conclufion of the Baviad, he will find a delicious 
 EwirutpM on a tame moufe, by this learned gentle- 
 man. As it feemed to give univerfal fatisfa6tion, I 
 embrace with pleafure the opportunity of laying 
 before him another effufion of the fame exquifite 
 pen. 
 
 It will be found, I flatter myfelf, not lefs beau- 
 tiful than the former, and will ferve admirably to 
 prove that the author, though oftenfibly devoted 
 to Elegy, can, on a proper occafion, affume an air 
 of gaiety, and be " profound" with eafe, and in- 
 structive with elegance. 
 
 ** On the cireumftance of a maftiff's running fu- 
 rioufly fad dog ! towards two young ladies, and 
 upon coming up to them, becoming inftantly gentle 
 good dog ! and tradable." 
 
 H
 
 C 9 3 
 To many a fonnet call thy claims in doubt, 
 And " at one entrance fhut thy glory out." 
 Yet mewl thou still. Shall my lord's dor- 
 moufe die, 125 
 
 And low in dust without a requiem lie ! 
 No, mewl thou still: and while thy d 'sjoin, 
 Their melancholy fymphonies to thine, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Tantum ad narrandum argumentum eft benignitas. 
 
 " When Orpheus took his lyre to hell 
 
 To fetch his rib away, 
 On that fame thing he pleas'd fo well, 
 
 That devils learn'd to play. 
 
 Befides in books it may be read, 
 
 That whilft he fwept the lute 
 Grim Cerb'rus hung his favage head, 
 
 And lay aftoundly mute. 
 
 But here we can with juftice fay 
 That nature rivals art,
 
 t 99 3 
 
 My righteous verfe mall labour to restore 
 The well-earned fame it robbed them of be- 
 fore. 130 
 Edwin, whatever elegies of woe 
 Drop from the gentle mouths of Vaughan and 
 
 Co. 
 To this or that, henceforth no more confined* 
 Shall, like a furname, take in all the kind. 
 
 Right! cry the brethren. When the heaven-^ 
 
 born mufe 135 
 
 Shames her defcent, and for low earthly views, 
 Hums o'er a beetle's bier the doleful stave, 
 Or fits chief mourner at a May-bug's grave, 
 Satire mould fcourge her from the vile employ, 
 And bring her back to friendihip, love, and 
 
 joy. 140 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 He fang a maftiff's rage away, 
 You look'd one thro' the heart." 
 
 Fecit Edwin. 
 
 H 2
 
 [ too 3 
 But fpare Cefario 1 , Carlos , Adelaide 3 , 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 1 Cefario. In the Baviad (p. 48) there are a few 
 ftanzas of a moft delegable ode to an owl. They 
 were afcribed to Arno : nor was I confcious of any 
 miftake, 'till I received a polite note from that gentle- 
 man, afluring me that he was not only not the author 
 of them ; but (horefco referens) that he thought 
 them " execrable." Mr. Bell, on the other hand, 
 affirms them to be " admirable." 
 
 Who fhall decide when doctors difagree ? 
 
 Be this as it may, I am happy to fay that I have dif- 
 covered the true author. They were written by Ce- 
 fario; and as I rather incline to Mr. Bell, pace Arn6 
 dixerim, I (hall make no fcruple of laying the re- 
 mainder of this " mellifluous piece" before my 
 reader. 
 
 " Slighted love the foul fubduing, 
 
 Silent forrow chills the heart. 
 Treacherous fancy ftill purfuing, 
 
 Still repels the poifoned dart. 
 
 Soothing thofe fond dreams of pleafure 
 
 PicJur'd in the glowing breaft, 
 Lavijb of her fweeteft treafure 
 
 Anxious/<?r is charted to reft,.
 
 The truest poetefs ! the truest maid ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Fearlefs o'er the whiten'd iilloivs, 
 
 Proudly rife, fweet bird of night, 
 Safely through the bending ivillo'Wf 
 
 Gently wing thy aery flight. 
 
 Cesario. 
 
 Though I flatter myfelf I have good fenfe and tafte 
 enough to fee, and admire the peculiar beauties of 
 this ode, yet a regard for truth obliges me to declare 
 they are not original. They are taken (with improve- 
 ments, I confefs) from a moft beautiful " fong by a 
 perfon of quality," in Pope's Mifcellanies. This, 
 though it detracts a little from Cefario's inventive 
 powers, ftill leaves him the praife (no mean one) of 
 having gone beyond that great poet, in what he pro- 
 bably confideredas the ne plus ultra of ingenuity. 
 
 Venimus ad fummum fortunae ! Mr. Greathead 
 equals Shakefpeare, Mrs. Robinfon furpafles Mil- 
 ton, and Cefario outdoes Pope in that very perfor- 
 mance, which he vainly imagined fo complete as to 
 take away all defire of imitating, all pofllbility of ex- 
 celling it I 
 
 O favoured clime ! O happy age ! 
 
 H 3
 
 C 102 ] 
 
 Lorenzo 4 , Rueben 5 , fpare : far be the thought 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 2 Carlos. I have nothing of this gentleman (a 
 mofl pertinacious fcribbler in the Oracle) but the 
 following " fonnet :" luckily, however, it is fo in- 
 effably ftupid, that it will more than fatisfy any 
 reader but Mr. Bell's. 
 
 ON A LADY'S PORTRAIT. 
 
 Oft hath the poet hailed the breath of morn, 
 
 That wakens nature with the voice of fpring, 
 And oft, when purple fummer feeds the lawn, 
 
 Hath fancy touched him with her procreant wing, 
 Full frequent has he blefs'd the golden beam 
 
 Which yellow autumn glowing fpreads around, 
 And tho' pale winter pred'd a paly gleam, 
 
 Frem in his breaft was young defcription found 
 
 I can copy no more Job himfelf would lofe all pati- 
 ence here. Inftead, therefore, of the remainder of this 
 incomprehenfible trafh, I will give the reader a firing of 
 judicious observations by Mr. T. Vaughan. " Bruyere 
 fays, he will allow that good writers are fcarce enough, 
 but adds, and juftly, that good critics are equally fo : 
 which reminds our correfpondent alfo of what the 
 Abbe Trublet writes, /peaking of profefTed critics,
 
 C 103 ] 
 
 Of intereft, far from them. Unbribed, unbought, 
 
 where he fays, if they were obliged to examine au- 
 thors impartially there would be fewer writers in 
 
 this 'way. Was this to be the liberal practice adopted 
 by our modern critics, we mould not fee a Baviad 
 (Oons! who is this Baviad !) falling upon men 
 and things, that are much above his capacity, and 
 feemingly for no other reafon than becaufe they 
 are fo." 
 
 A Daniel come to judgment, yea, a Daniel ! This 
 is in truth the reafon ; and when Mr.Vaughan and his 
 coadjutors will condefcend to humble themfelves to 
 my underftanding, I will endeavour to profit by their 
 eloquent ftriftures. 
 
 3 Adelaide. And who is Adelaide ? O feri fiudio- 
 rum ! " Not to know her argues yourfelves un- 
 known." Hear Mr. Bell, the Longinus of Newf- 
 paper writers. 
 
 ADELAIDE. 
 
 " He who is here addrefled by the firft lyric writer 
 in the kingdom, muft himfelf endeavour to repay a 
 debt fo highly honourable, if it can be done by verfe ! 
 This Lady fhall have the praife, which ought to be 
 
 H 4
 
 C 104 ] 
 They pour * from their big breast's prolific zone, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 given by the country ! ! ! that of firft difcovering, 
 and drawing out the fine powers of Arno and Delia 
 Crufca 1" 
 
 u O thou whom late I watch'd while o'er thee hung 
 The orb, whofe glories I fo oft have fung, 
 Beheld thee while a. flower of beam 
 Made night a lovelier morning feem," &c. 
 
 We might here difmifs this " firft lyric writer of 
 the age," who, from her flippant nonfenfe, appears to 
 be Mrs. Piozzi ; were it not for the fake of remark- 
 ing, that whatever be the merit of " drawing out the 
 fine powers of Arno" (which, it feems this ungrateful 
 country has not yet rewarded with a ftatue) flie mud 
 be content to fhare it with Julia. Hear her Invoca- 
 tion .but firft hear Mr. Bell. " A moft elegant com- 
 pliment, which for generous efteem has been feldom 
 equalled, any more than the mufe which infpired it." 
 
 JULIA TO ARNO. 
 
 Arno ! where fteals thy dulcet lay 
 Soft as the evening's minftrel note, 
 
 Say, does it deck the rifing day, 
 Or on the noon-tide breezes float I ! I
 
 C 105 3 
 
 A proud, poetic fervour, only known 
 
 Mrs. Robinfon (for we may as well drop the name 
 of Julia) has been guilty of a trifling larceny here; 
 haying taken from the Baviad without any ac- 
 knowledgment, a delicious couplet which I flat- 
 tered myfelf would never have been feen out of 
 that poem but fo it is, that, like Pope, 
 
 write whate'er I will, 
 
 Some rifing genius sins up to it ftill. 
 
 This has nettled me a little, and poflibly injured 
 the great poetefs in my opinion ; for I have been 
 robbed fo often of late, that I begin to think with 
 the old ceconomift, 
 
 Out' aoi^W Xar' 0? tf c^ev oiatrui s&v. 
 
 For the reft, this ** Invocation" called forth a 
 fpecimen of Arno's fine powers in the following 
 dulcet lays. 
 
 ARNO TO JULIA. 
 
 Sure fome dire ftar inimical to man 
 Guides to his heart the defolating fire, 
 
 Fills with contention only his brief fpan, 
 And rouzes him to murderous defire.
 
 C 106 ] 
 To fouls like theirs' ; as Anna's youth infpires, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 There are who fagely fcan the tortured world, 
 
 And tell us war is but neceffity, 
 That millions, by the great difpenfer hurl'd, 
 
 Mud fuffer by this fcourge, and ceafe to be. 
 
 Euge Poeta ! 
 
 ,a t* 
 
 4 Lorenzo. K ttw? tyu 20eX Qxyo^'ctv pij/x< 
 
 Says a hungry wight in an old comedy. But I know 
 of no feafoning, whatever, capable of making the 
 infipid garbage of this modern Sthenelus palatable, 
 even to the voracious appetite of the blue-ftocking 
 club : I fball therefore fpare myfelf the difgufl of 
 producing it. 
 
 5 Reuben, whom I take to be Mr. Greathead in 
 difguife, (it being this gentleman's fate, like Hercules 
 of old, to affiime the merit of all unappropriated 
 prodigies) Reuben introduced himfelf to the World 
 by the following " Addrefs to Anna Matilda.*'
 
 C 107 3 . 
 As Laura's graces kindle fierce defires, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 To thee a ftranger dares addrefs his theme, 
 
 To thee, proud miftrefs of Apollo's lyre, 
 One ray emitted from thy golden gleam, 
 
 Prompted by love would fet the world on fire 1 
 Adorn then love in fancy-tin&ured veft, 
 
 Camelion like, anon of various hue, 
 By Penferofo, and Allegro dreft, 
 
 Such genius claim'd when fhe Idalia drew.. . 
 
 Anna Matilda, what could fhe lefs ! found 
 
 this refufcitating praife 
 
 Breathe life upon her dying lays, 
 
 Like M the daily which fpreads her bloom to the 
 moift evening " ! ! ! and accordingly produced a 
 matchlefs " adornment of love," to the great con- 
 tentment of the gentle Reuben. 
 
 But bard polite, quoth fhe, how hard the tafk 
 Which with fuch elegance you afk I 
 
 Who could have thought thefe lines, the fimple 
 tribute of gratitude to genius, would have nearly 
 occafioned " a perdition of fouls!" Yet fo it was. 
 They unfortunately rouzed the jealoufy of Delia
 
 As Henriett For heaven's fake ! not fo faft. 
 
 I too, my matters, ere my teeth were caft, 150 
 
 Crufca ** on the fportive banks of the Rhone." 
 One lucklefs evening 
 
 " When twilight on the weftern edge 
 
 Had twined his hoary hair with fabling fedge," 
 
 as he was " weeping" (for, like Matter Stephen, thefe 
 good creatures think it neceflary to be always melan- 
 choly) at the tomb of Laura, he ftarted, as well he 
 might, at the accurfed name of Reuben. 
 
 Hark ! quoth he, 
 What cruel founds are thefe 
 Which float upon the languid breeze, 
 Which fill my foul with jealous fear ! 
 Hah! Reuben is the name I hear. 
 For him my faithlefs Anna, &c. 
 
 It is with no fmall regret I add, that the cold- 
 blooded Bell has deftroyed this beautiful fancy-fcene 
 with one flroke of his clownifli pen. In a note on the 
 above lines (Album, p. 134) he officioufly informs us 
 that Delia Crufca knew " nothing of his rival, till 
 he read" detefted word ! " his fonnet in the Ora- 
 cle." O Bell ! Bell ! Is it thus thou humbleft the 
 ftrains of the fublime ! Surely we may fay of thee 
 what was not ill faid of one .of thy fillers,
 
 I 9 3 
 Had learned, by rote, to rave of Delia's charms, 
 To die of tranfports found in Chloe's arms, 
 Coy Daphne with obstreperous plaints to woo, 
 And curfe the cruelty of God knows who. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 150. Atqui Ego cum graecos facerem, na- 
 tus mare citra, 
 Verficulos, vetuit tali me voce Quirinus 
 Poft mediam vifus noclem, cum fomnia vera. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Sed tu infulfa male et molefta vives, 
 Per quam non licet efle negligentem. 
 
 * They pour, &c. 
 
 -I love fo well 
 
 Thy foul's deep tone, thy thought's high fwell, 
 Thy proud poetic fervour known, 
 But in thy breaft's prolific zone. 
 
 Dell. Cruf.
 
 C o 3 
 When Phoebus, (not the Power that bade thee 
 write, 155 
 
 For he, dear Dapper ! was a lying fprite) 
 
 One morn, when dreams are true, approached my 
 
 fide, 
 And, frowning on my tuneful lumber, cried, 
 
 u Lo ! every corner with foft fonnets crammed, 
 And high-born odes, " works damned, or to be 
 damned :" 160 
 
 And is thy active folly adding more 
 
 To this most worthlefs, moft fuperfluous ftore ? 
 
 O impotence of toil ! thou mighteft as well 
 
 Give fenfe to Efte, or modefty to Bell. 
 
 Forbear, forbear: what tho' thou canft not 
 claim 165 
 
 The facred honours of a POET's name, 
 
 Due to the few alone, whom I infpire 
 
 With lofty rapture, with etherial fire ! 
 
 Yet mayft thou arrogate the humble praifc 
 
 Of reafon's bard, if, in thy future lays, 1 70
 
 C in 3 
 Plain fenfe, and truth, (and furely thefe arc 
 
 thine) 
 Correal thy wanderings, and thy flights confine." 
 
 Here ceafed the God, and vanished . Forth I 
 
 fprang 
 While in my ear the voice divine yet rang ; 
 
 Seized every rag and fcrap, approached the 
 fire, 175 
 
 And faw whole Albums in the blaze expire. 
 
 Then fhame enfued, and vain regret, to have 
 fpent 
 So many hours (hours which I yet lament,) 
 
 In thriftlefs induftry ; and year on year 
 
 Inglorious rolled, while diffidence, and fear, 180 
 
 Repreft my voice unheard till Anna came, 
 
 What ! throbb'st thou YET, my bofom, at the 
 
 name ? 
 
 And chafed the oppreflive doubts that round me 
 
 clung, 
 And fired my breast, and loofened all my tongue-
 
 E'en then (admire, John Bell! my fimple 
 
 ways) 185 
 
 No heaven, and hell, danced madly thro* my 
 
 lays, 
 No oaths, no execrations ; all was plain : 
 Yet, truft me, while thy u ever jingling train" 
 Chime their fonorous woes with frigid art, 
 And (hock the reafon and revolt the heart ; 190 
 My hopes, and fears, in nature's language drest, 
 Awakened love in many a gentle breast. 
 
 How oft, O Dart ! what time the faithful 
 pair 
 Walked forth, the fragrant hour of eve to (hare, 
 On thy romantic banks, have my wild ftrains*, 195 
 (Not yet forgot amidst my native plains) 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 195. In fylvam non ligna feras infanius* 
 ac fi 
 Magnas Graecorum malis implere catervas 
 
 * Mr. Parfons is extremely angry at my " often- 
 tatious intrufion" of the " Otium Divos" into the
 
 7.I/..//W/ /t..i.<trl 
 
 l.,rr,# \rcut[.. 
 
 
 rr/e/t 
 
 SAvr ,,////,//>/// neeut; y/, en. my /<///.><.><<'"', 
 
 '/fv/rori, \st //<</, /t/'tt/'r-//. /////////'/" r/\- 
 
 Mim v</// ///// >-/ 
 
 JiMMmi Ju/y i.-, 17:17, /;v '.H'/Ht'il. /'i:-r,it/l//v.
 
 C "3 3 
 While thou hast fweetly gurgled down the vale, 
 Filled up the paufe of love's delightful tale ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 notes on this poem. What could I do ? I ever 
 difliked publifliing my little modicums on loofe pages 
 but I (hall growwifer by his example ; and, indeed, 
 am even now compofing " one Riddle^ two Rebufles, 
 and an Acroftic, to a child at nurfe,*" which will 
 be fet forth with all convenient fpeed. Meanwhile 
 I am tempted to offend once more, and fubjoin the 
 only two of my " wild drains" that now live in 
 my recollection. I can aflure Mr. P. they were 
 written on the occafions they profefs to be and the 
 laft of them at a time when I had no idea of ftir- 
 viving to provoke his indignation: 
 
 i fed Cynarae breves 
 
 Annos fata dederunt, me 
 Servatura diu. 
 
 TO A TUFT OF EARLY VIOLETS. 
 
 Sweet flowers ! that from your humble beds 
 
 Thus prematurely dare to rife, 
 And truft your unprotected heads 
 
 To cold Aquarius' watry Ikies j 
 
 * Sec One Epigram, Two Sonnets, and Oni Ode to 
 a Boy at School, by W. Parfons, Efq. 
 
 I
 
 C "4 ] 
 
 While, ever as (he read, the confcious maid, 
 By faultering voice, and downcast looks be- 
 tray 'd 200 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Retire, retire! These tepid airs 
 
 Are not the genial brood of May ; 
 That fun with light malignant glares, 
 
 And flatters only to betray. 
 
 Stern Winter's reign is not yet paft 
 Lo I while your buds prepare to blow, 
 
 On icy pinions comes the blaft, 
 And nips your root, and lays you low. 
 
 Alas, for fuch ungentle doom ! 
 
 But I will ihield you ; and fupply 
 A kindlier foil on which to bloom, 
 
 A nobler bed on which to die. 
 
 Come then ere yet the morning ray 
 Has drunk the dew that gems your creft, 
 
 And drawn your balmieft fweets away ; 
 O come, and grace my Anna's breaft. 
 
 Ye droop, fond flowers ! But, did ye know 
 What worth, what goodnefs there refide, 
 
 Your cups with liveliest tints would glow, 
 And fpread their leaves with confcious pride.
 
 t us 3 
 
 Would blufhing on her lover's neck recline, 
 And with her finger point the tenderest line. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 For there has liberal Nature join'd 
 
 Her riches to the ftores of Art, 
 And added to the vigorous mind, 
 
 The foft, the fympathizing heart. 
 
 Come then ere yet the morning ray 
 Has drunk the dew that gems your creft, 
 
 And drawn your balmieft fweets away ; 
 O come and grace my Anna's breaft. 
 
 O ! I mould think, that fragrant bed 
 Might I but hope with you to (hare, 
 
 Years of anxiety repaid, 
 By one (hort hour of tranfport there. 
 
 More bleft than me, thus fliall ye live 
 Your little day ; and when ye die, 
 
 Sweet flowers ! the grateful mufe fhall give 
 A verfe ; the forrowing maid, a figh. 
 
 While I alas ! no diftant date, 
 Mix with the duft from whence I came, 
 
 Without a friend to weep my fate, 
 Without a (tone to tell my name. 
 
 12
 
 But thefe are past : and, mark me, Laura ! 
 time 
 That made what then was venial, now a crime, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 WRITTENTWOYEARS AFTERTHE PRECEDING. 
 
 I wifli I was where Anna lies; 
 
 For I am fick of lingering here 
 And every hour Affection cries, 
 
 Go, and partake her humble bier. 
 
 I wifh I could ! For when (he died 
 
 I loft my all ; and life has prov'd 
 Since that fad hour a dreary void, 
 
 A wafte unlovely, and unlov'd. 
 
 But who, when I am turn'd to clay, 
 
 Shall duly to her grave repair, 
 And pluck the ragged mofs away, 
 
 And weeds that have " no buflnefs there V 
 
 And who with pious hand fliall bring 
 
 The flowers (he cherifti'd, fnow-drops cold, 
 
 And violets that unheeded fpring, 
 To fcatter o'er her hallow'd mold ?
 
 C 7 3 
 
 To more befitting cares my thoughts confined, 205 
 And drove with youth, its follies from my mind. 
 
 And who, while memory loves to dwell 
 
 Upon her name for ever dear, 
 Shall feel his heart with paffion fwell, 
 
 And pour the bitter, bitter tear ? 
 
 I did it ; and would fate allow, 
 
 Should vifit ftill, fliould (till deplore- 
 But health and ftrength have left me now, 
 And I alas ! can weep no more. 
 
 Take then, fweet maid ! this fimple ftrain, 
 
 The laft I offer at thy fhrine ; 
 Thy grave muft then undeck'd remain, 
 
 And all thy memory fade with mine. 
 
 And can thy foft perfuafive look, 
 Thy voice that might with mufic vie, 
 
 Thy air, that every gazer took, 
 Thy matchlefs eloquence of eye, 
 
 Thy fpirits, frolickfome, as good, 
 Thy courage, by no ills difmay'd, 
 
 Thy patience, by no wrongs fubdu'd, 
 
 Thy gay good-humour Can they '* fade!" 
 
 I 3
 
 C * 3 
 
 Since then, while Merry, and his nurfelings die, 
 Thrill'd * by the liquid peril of an eye ; 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 207. Turgidus Alpinus jugular, dum 
 Memnona, dumque 
 Diffingit Rheni luteum caput, haec ego ludo, 
 Quae nee in aede fonent certantia, judice Tarpa. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Perhaps but forrow dims my eye : 
 
 Cold turf, which I no more muft view, 
 
 Dear name, which I no more muft figh, 
 A long, a laft, a fad adieu ! 
 
 * Thrilled, &c. 
 
 Bid the ftreamy lightnings fly, 
 In liquid peril from thy eye. 
 
 Dell. Crus. 
 
 Ne'er (halt thou know to figh> 
 
 Or on a foftidea die, 
 
 Ne'er on a recollection gafp, 
 
 Thy arms Ohe 1 jam fatis eft. 
 
 Anna Mat.
 
 C 9 3 
 
 Gafp at a recollection, and drop down 
 At the long ftreamy lightning of a frown ; 210 
 I footh, as humour prompts, my idle vein 
 In frolick verfe, that cannot hope to gain 
 AdmhTion to the Album, nor be feen 
 
 In L 's Review, or Urban's Magazine. 
 
 O, for thy fpirit, Pope ! Yet why ? My 
 
 lays, 215 
 
 That wake no envy, and invite no praife, 
 Half- creeping, and half-flying, yet fuffice 
 To ftagger impudence, and ruffle vice. 
 An hour may come, fo I delight to dream, 
 When flowly wandering by thy facred ftream, 220 
 Majeftic Thames ! I leave the world behind, 
 And give to fancy all th' enraptur'd mind. 
 An hour may come, when I fhall ftrike the lyre 
 To nobler themes : then, then, the chords infpire 
 With thy own harmony, moft fweet, mod 
 
 ftrong, 225 
 
 And guide my hand thro' all the maze of fong ! 
 Till then, enough for me, in fuch rude ftrains 
 As mother Wit can give, and thofe fmall pains 
 14
 
 [ 120 ] 
 
 A vacant hour allows ; to range the town, 
 And hunt the clamorous brood of Folly down ; 230 
 Force every head, in Efte's defpite, to wear 
 The cap and bells, by nature planted there, 
 Muffle the rattle, feize the Havering (holes, 
 And drive them, fcourged and whimpering, to 
 
 their holes. 
 Burgoyne*, perhaps, unchill'd by creeping 
 
 age, 235 
 
 May yet arife, and vindicate the ftage ; 
 The reign of nature and of fenfe reftore, 
 And be whatever Terence was before. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 235. Arguta meretrice potes, Davoque 
 Chremeta 
 Eludente fenem, comis garrire libellos 
 Unus vivorum, Fundani. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Burgoyne. See the note on v. 21.
 
 And you, too, whole Menander ! who combine 
 With his pure language and his flowing line, 240 
 The soul of Comedy ; may fteal an hour 
 From the fond chace of ftill-efcaping power, 
 The poet and the fage again unite, 
 And fweetly blend instruction with delight. 
 
 And yet Elfrida's bard, tho' time has fhed 245 
 The fnow of age too deep around his head ; 
 Feels the kind warmth, the fervour, that infpired 
 His youthful breast, still glow unchecked, un- 
 
 tired : 
 And yet, tho' like the bird of eve, his fong 
 " Fit audience finds" not in the giddy throng; 250 
 The notes, tho' artful wild, tho' numerous chaste, 
 Fill with delight the fober eafe of taste, 
 
 But thefe, and more I could with honour name, 
 Too proud to stoop, like me, to vulgar game, 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 245. molle atque facetum 
 
 Virgilio annuerunt gaudentes rure Camenae.
 
 C * j 
 Subjects more worthy of their daring chufe, 255 
 And leave at large the abortions of the mufe. 
 Proud of their privilege, the innumerous fpawn, 
 From bogs and fens, the mire of Pindus drawn, 
 New vigour feel, new confidence aflume, 
 And fwarm like Pharaoh's frogs in every room. 260 
 
 Sick of th' eternal croak which, ever near, 
 Beat like the death-watch on my tortured ear ; 
 And fure, too fure, that many a genuine child 
 Of truth and nature, checked his wood-notes 
 wild*, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Checked his wood-notes wild. Ywirwxiiai xoXoiwn 
 oawTai xwtwt. But this is better illuftrated in a mod 
 elegant fable of Lefling's, to which I defpair of doing 
 juftice in a translation. 
 
 Du ziirneft, Liebling der Mufen, &c. &c. 
 
 Thou art troubled, darling of the Mufes, thou art 
 troubled at the clamorous fwarms of infefts which 
 infeft Parnaffus. O hear from me what once the 
 nightingale heard from the fhepherd.
 
 C "3 ] 
 
 Dear to the feeling heart in doubt to win 265 
 
 The vacant wanderer, midst th' unceafing din 
 Of this hoarfe rout ; I feized at length the wand ; 
 Refolved, tho' fmall my {kill, tho' weak my 
 
 hand, 
 The mifchief in its progrefs to arrest, 
 And exorcife the foil of fuch a pest. 270 
 
 Hence ! in the name 1 fcarce had fpoke, 
 
 when lo ! 
 Reams of outrageous fonnets *, thick as fnow, 
 
 Sing then, faid he to the filent fongftrefs, one lovely 
 evening in the fpring, fing then, fweet nightingale! 
 Alas ! faid the nightingale, the frogs croak fo loud, 
 that I have loft all defireto fing : doft thou not hear 
 them ? I do, indeed, replied the fhepherd but thy 
 filence alone is the caufe of it. 
 
 " There's comfort yet !" 
 
 * Reams of outrageous fonnets. Of thefe I have 
 collected a very reafonable quantity, which I purpofe
 
 C "4 3 
 Flew round my head ; yet, in my caufe fecure 
 " Pour on," I cried, " pour on, I will endure." 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 to prefix to fome future edition of the Maeviad, under 
 the true claflic head of 
 
 INSIGNIUM VIRORUM 
 
 ALIQUOT TESTIMONIA 
 
 qui 
 
 BAV : ET MJEV : INCLYTISS : AUCTORIS 
 
 MEMINERUNT. 
 
 Meanwhile I (hall prefent the reader with the two firft 
 that occur, as a fpecimen of the collection. 
 
 SONNET I. 
 
 " To the anonymous author of the Baviad, oc- 
 cafioned by his fcurrilous, and moft unmerited attack 
 on Mr. Wefton. 
 
 Demon of darkness ! whofoe'er thou art, 
 That dar'ft aflume the brighter angel's form, 
 
 And o'er the peaceful vale impel the ftorm, 
 With many a figh to rend the boneft heart,
 
 C "5 ] 
 What ! (hall I (hrink, becaufe the noble 
 train 275 
 
 Whofe judgement I impugn, whofe tafte arraign, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Force from th' unconfcious eye the tear to ftart, 
 
 And with juft pride th' indignant bofom warm ; 
 Avaunt ! to where unnumber'd fpirits fwarm, 
 
 Foul and malignant as thyfelf, depart. 
 Genius of Pope defcend, ye fervile crew 
 
 Of imitators vile, intrude not ! ! ! I appeal 
 To thee, and thee alone from outrage bafe, 
 
 Tell me tho' fair the forms his fancy drew, 
 Should'ft thou the fecrets of his heart reveal, 
 Would fame his memory crown, or cover with dif- 
 grace." 
 
 J. M. 
 Gent. Mag. Aug. 1792. 
 
 This poor driveller, who is ftupid enough to be 
 Wefton's admirer, and malignant enough to be his 
 friend, I take to be one Morleyj* whom I now and 
 
 * I was right. Mr. Morley, who I underftand is a clergy. 
 man, and who, like Mr. Parfons, exults in the idea of having
 
 C x*6 3 
 
 Alive, and trembling for their favourites' fate, 
 Purfue my verfe with unrelenting hate ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 then obferve in the Gent. Mag. ufliering his great 
 
 firft attacked me, has fince publifhed a " Tale," the wit, 
 or rather dullnefs of which, if I recolleft right, confifts in 
 my being difappointed of a Living ! 
 
 Here follow a few of the introductory lines which for 
 poetry and pleafantry can only be exceeded by fome of Mr. 
 Parfon's. 
 
 What if a little once I did abufethee ? 
 
 " Worfe than thou hadft deferved I could not ufe thee. 
 
 For when I fpied thy Satyr's cloven foot, 
 
 * 'Tis very true, I took thee for a brute ; 
 
 " And marking more attentively thy manners, 
 
 ' I fince have wifhed thy hide were at the tanner's. 
 
 " But if a man thou art, as fome fuppofe, 
 
 '* Oh ! how my fingers itch to pull thy nofe! 
 
 " As pleafed as Punch, I'd hold it in my gripe, 
 
 Till Parkinfon had Huffed thee for a fnipe ! I ! 
 
 It is rather fingular that this ftill-born lump of infipidity 
 fhould be introduced to the Bookfeller under the aufpices of 
 Doctor Parr. If that refpectable name was not abufed
 
 C "7 3 
 
 No : faveme from their praise, and I can fit 
 
 Calm, unconcerned, the butt of Andrew's wit, 280 
 And Topham's fenfe j perverfely gay, can fmile 
 While Efte, the zany, in his motley ftyle, 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 prototype's doggrel into notice, with an importance 
 truly worthy of it. 
 
 sonnet n. 
 To the execrable Baviad. 
 
 Monster of Turpitude! who feem'ft inclined 
 Through me to pierce with thy impregnate dart, 
 
 on the occafion, I can only fay that politics, like mifery, 
 ** bring a man acquainted with ftrange bedfellows"! 
 
 For the reft, I will prefent Mr. Morley with a couple of 
 lines, which, if he will get conftrued and ferioufly reflecl; 
 upon, before he next puts pen to paper, may be of more 
 fervice to him, than all the inftru&ion, and all the encou- 
 ragement, the Doftor, apparently, ever gave him : 
 
 Cur ego laborem notus efle tarn prave 
 Cum flare gratis cum filcntio poflirn 1
 
 C 1*8 ] 
 
 Calls barbarous names ; while Bell and Boaden 
 
 rave, 
 And Vaughan, a brother blockhead's verfe to 
 
 fave, 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 283 288. Men' moveat eimex Pantilius ? 
 aut cruder, quod 
 Vellicet abfentem Demetrius ? aut quod ineptus 
 Fannius Hermoginis laedat conviva Tigelli ? 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 The fine-fpun nerve of each full 60/om'd mind,* 
 And rock in apathy the sensi ve heart, 
 
 Tremble! forlo! my Oracle -fo famed 
 
 Shall ring each morn in thy accursed ear 
 
 A griding pang ! so when the Grecian MAREf 
 
 Enter'd the toxun, old Pyramus exclaim'd 
 
 Quere full-bottom'd ? Printer's Devil. 
 
 + Grecian Mare. This has been hitherto, inaccurately 
 enough, named the Trojan horse ; and, indeed, I myfelf 
 had nearly fallen into the unfcholarlike error, when my
 
 [ 129 ] 
 Toils day by day my character to draw^ 285 
 
 And heaps upon me every thing but law. 
 
 I fee ! I fee ! and hurl'd his lightning fpear, 
 
 While Capaneus drew back his head for fear, 
 
 And godlike* Alexander gazing round, 
 
 Unconfcious of his victories to come, 
 Approach'd the monarch, and with fo&s profound 
 Explain'd th' impending wrath o'er Ilium's royal 
 dome. 
 
 J. Bell. 
 
 learned friend Greathead convinced me (from Pope's emen- 
 dations of Virgil, under the fantaftic name of Scriblerus) 
 that the animal in queftion was a mare. She being there 
 faid to be foeta armis, armed with a foetus. Let us hear no 
 more, therefore of the Trojan horse. 
 
 The patronymick Trojan is ftill more abfurd. Homer 
 exprefsly declares the Mare to have been produced by Pal- 
 las Palladia arte : now Pallas was a Grecian Goddefs, as 
 is fufficiently manifeit from her name, which is derived from 
 
 Ilette.u vibro. 
 
 J. Bell. 
 
 Godlike ; that is, SioiJije, from Qeo, God, and u$yc y 
 like. (Vide Hom.^ Tranflators in general (I except a late 
 
 K
 
 C 130 3 
 But do I then, (abjuring every aim) 
 All cenfure flight, and all applaufe difclaim ? 
 Not fo : where judgment holds the rod, I bow 
 My humbled neck, awed by her angry brow ; 290 
 Where tafte and fenfe approve, I feel a joy 
 Dear to my heart, and mixed with no alloy. 
 I write not to the modifh herd : my days, 
 Spent in the tranquil fhades of letter'd eafe, 
 Afk no admiring stare from thofe I meet, 295 
 No loud " that's he!" to make their paflage 
 fweet. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 One) are too inattentive to the compound epithets of this 
 great poet. By why does Homer call Alexander Codlike, 
 when he appears from Curtius Quintiufes tedious gazette, 
 in verfe, to have had one fhoulder higher than the other ? 
 
 My friend V thinks it was purely to pay his court to 
 
 him, in hopes of getting into his Will, or rather into his 
 mistresses. It may be fo ; but 'tis flrange the abfurdity 
 was never noticed before.
 
 C i3 3 
 Pleafed to steal foftly by, unmarked, unknown, 
 I leave the world to Holcroft, Pratt*, and 
 Vaughan. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 * Pratt. This gentleman lately put in practice a 
 very notable fcheme. Having fcribbled himfelf fairly 
 out of notice, he found it expedient to retire to the 
 continent for a few months to provoke the enqui- 
 ries of Mr. Lane's indefatigable readers. 
 
 Mark, the ingratitude of the creatures ! No en- 
 quiries were made, and Mr. Pratt was forgotten be- 
 fore he had crofled the channel. Ibi omnis effufus 
 labor. But what 1 
 
 The moufe that is content with one poor hole, 
 Can never be a moufe of any foul. 
 
 Baffled in this expedient, he had recourfe to another, 
 and, while we were dreaming of nothing lefs, came 
 before us in the following paragraph. 
 
 " A few days fince died, at Bafle in Swiflerland, 
 the ingenious Mr. Pratt. His lofs will be feverely 
 felt by the literary world ; as he joined to the ac- 
 complishments of the gentleman the erudition of the 
 fcholar." 
 
 K2
 
 C 13* 3 
 Of thefe enough. Yet may the few I love, 
 For who would fing in vain ! my verfe ap- 
 prove ; 300 
 Chief thou, my friend ! who, from my earliest 
 
 years, 
 Hast lhared my joys, and more than fhared my 
 cares. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 300. probat haec Oclavius, optimus 
 
 atque 
 Fufcus : & haec utinam Vifcorum laudet uterque ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 This was inferted in the London papers for 
 feveral days fucceflively. The country papers too 
 " yelled out like fyllables of dolour." At length, 
 while our eyes were yet wet for the irreparable 
 lofs we had fuftained, came a fecond paragraph 
 as follows.
 
 C 133 3 
 
 Sure, if our fates hang on fome hidden Power, 
 And take their colour from the natal hour, 
 Then, Ireland*! the fame planet on us 
 rofe; 305 
 
 Such the strong fympathies our lives difclofe ! 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 " As no event of late has caufed a more general 
 forrow than the fuppofed death of the ingenious Mr. 
 Pratt ; we are happy to have it in our power to aflure 
 his numerous admirers, that he is as well as they 
 can wifli, and (what they will be delighted to hear) 
 bufied in preparing his Travels for the prefs." 
 
 ** Laud we the Gods 1" 
 
 * Here, on account of its connection with the per- 
 fon mentioned in the text, I fhall take the liberty 
 extremum hunc mihi concede of inferting the fol- 
 lowing " Imitation," addreflfed to him feveral years 
 fince. It was never printed : nor, as far as I know, 
 feen by any but himfelf: and I tranfcribe it for the 
 prefs, with mingled fenfations of gratitude and de- 
 light, at the favourable change of circumftances we 
 have both experienced fince it was written.
 
 C 34 3 
 Thou knowest how foon we felt this influence 
 bland, 
 And fought the brook and coppice hand in hand, 
 
 NOTES. 
 TO THE 
 
 REV. JOHN IRELAND.? 
 
 IMITATION OF HORACE. 
 
 LIB. II. ODE l6\ 
 
 Otium Divos rogat, &c. 
 
 When howling winds, and louring flries, 
 The light, untimber'd bark furprife 
 
 Near Orkney's boifterous feas ; 
 The trembling crew forget to fwear, 
 And bend the knees, unufed to prayer, 
 
 To a(k a little eafe. 
 
 For eafe the Turk, ferocious, prays, 
 For eafe the barbarous Ruffe for eafe, 
 
 Which P k could ne'er obtain ; 
 
 Which Bedford lack'd amidft his ftore, 
 And liberal Clive, with mines of ore, 
 
 Oft bade for but in vain. 
 
 * Now Vicar of Croydon in Surry, and Author of 
 " Difcourfes on the RejeSion of the Go/pel by the Antient 
 Jews and Greeks."
 
 C '35 3 
 
 And fhaped rude bows, and uncouth whistles 
 
 blew, 
 And paper kites (a last, great effort,) flew; 310 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 For not the liveried troop that wait 
 Around the manfions of the great, 
 
 Can keep, my friend, aloof; 
 Fear, that attacks the mind by fits, 
 And Care, that like a raven flits 
 
 Around the lordly roof. 
 
 " O, well is he" to whom kind heaven 
 A decent competence has given ! 
 
 Rich in the blefling fent ; 
 He grafps not anxioufly at more, 
 Dreads not to ufe his little ftore, 
 
 And fattens on content. 
 
 O well is he I" for life is loft, 
 Amidft a whirl of paflions toft ; 
 
 Then why, dear Jack, ftiould man, 
 Magnanimous Ephemera ! ftretch 
 His views beyond the narrow reach 
 
 Of his contracted fpan ! 
 
 Why ftiould he from his country run, 
 In hopes, beneath a foreign fun, 
 
 K 4
 
 [ I3 3 
 
 And when the day was done, retired to rest, 
 Sleep on our eyes, and funfhine in our breast. 
 
 NO! ES. 
 
 Serener hours to find ? 
 Was never man in this wild chace, 
 Who changed his nature with his place, 
 
 And left himfelf behind. 
 
 For, winged with all the lightning's fpeed, 
 Care climbs the bark, Care mounts the fteed, 
 
 An inmate of the breaft : 
 Nor Barca's heat, nor Zembla's cold, 
 Can drive from that pernicious hold, 
 
 The too-tenacious gueft. 
 
 They, whom no anxious thoughts annoy, 
 Grateful, the frefent hour enjoy, 
 
 Nor feek the next to know ; 
 To lighten every ill they ftrive, 
 Nor, ere Misfortune's hand arrive, 
 
 Anticipate the blow. 
 
 Something muft ever be amifs 
 
 Man has his joys j but perfect hlifs
 
 C 137 3 
 In riper years, again together thrown, 
 Our studies, as our fports before, were one. 
 
 Lives only in the brain : 
 We cannot all have all we want ; 
 And Chance, unafked, to this may grant 
 
 What that has begg'd in vain. 
 
 Wolf ruflied on death in manhood's bloom, 
 Pa u let crept flowly to the tomb ; 
 
 Here breath, there fame was given : 
 And that wife Power who weighs our lives, 
 By contrasy andby/>roj,* contrives 
 
 To keep the balance even. 
 
 * In the earlier editions of this poem (which were printed 
 during my abfence from town) there was an enormous 
 hallucination in this place no lefs than a tranfpofition of 
 an r J This very naturally called forth all the indignation 
 of the lynx-eyed and learned Mr. Parfons, and he comment- 
 ed upon it in the following terms. 
 
 ' It would be endlefs to notice all the errors of this 
 " prefumptuous pedant, whofe dullnefs is equal to his 
 " impudence, his falfhood and malignity ; and before he.
 
 C 138 3 
 
 Together we explored the stoic page 315 
 
 Of the Ligurian, stern tho' beardlefs fage ! 
 
 NOTE3. 
 
 To thee fhe gave two piercing eyes, 
 A body juftof Tydeus' fize. 
 
 A judgment found, and clear ; 
 A mind with various fcience fraught, 
 A liberal foul, a thread bare coat, 
 
 And forty pounds a year. 
 
 " makes a parade of greek quotations againft fuch a writer 
 " as Edwin*, he fhould at lead learn latin; but in this 
 " every merchant's clerk will deleft him." 
 
 * Our Ariftarchus is at his old lunes," blundering 
 again. The only quotation I have made againft Edwin (to 
 ufe Mr. Parfons's elegant phrafej is a latin, and not a greek 
 one but 'tis lofs of time to talk to fuch naturals of 
 quotations. The morofoph Efte (Telegraph, April 28) 
 announced an Ode of Horace's as a composition of Mr. 
 Parfons's, and Parfons himfelf undoubtedly miftook the verfc 
 alluded to, for a profe exclamation of my own !
 
 r w 3 
 
 Or traced the Aquinian thro' the Latine road, 
 And trembled at the lafhes he bestowed. 
 Together too, when Greece unlocked her stores, 
 We roved in thought o'er Troy's devoted 
 fhores ; 320 
 
 Or followed, while he fought his native foil, 
 " That old man eloquent" from toil to toil ; 
 Lingering with good Alcinoiis o'er the tale, 
 Till the east reddened, and the stars grew pale. 
 
 NOTES. 
 
 Tome one eye not over good, 
 
 Two fides, that, to their coft, have flood 
 
 A ten years hectic cough ; 
 Aches, flitches, all the numerous ills 
 That fwell the devihfh doctor's bills, 
 
 And fweep poor mortals off. 
 
 A coat more bare than thine, a foul 
 That fpurns the croud's malign controul ; 
 
 A fixed contempt of wrong ; 
 Spirits above affliction's power, 
 And fkill to charm the lonely hour 
 
 With no inglorious fong.
 
 C ho 3 
 
 So past our life ; till fate, feverely kind, 325 
 Tore us apart, and land and fea disjoined, 
 For many a year : now met, to part no more, 
 The afcendant Power, confeffed fo ftrong of yore, 
 Stronger by abfence, every thought controuls, 
 And knits in perfect unity our fouls. 33Q 
 
 O Ireland ! if the verfethat thus effays 
 To trace our lives " e'en from our boyifh 
 
 days," 
 Meet thy applaufe : the world befide may rail 
 
 I care not at the uninterefting tale : 
 
 I only feek, in language void of art, 335 
 
 To ope my breaft, and pour out all my heart ; 
 And boaftful of thy various worth, to tell, 
 How long we lov'd, and thou canft add, how 
 well ! 
 
 Thou too, my hoppner ! if my wifti availed, 
 Should'ft praife the ftrain that but for thee had 
 failed : 340 
 
 Thou knowest, when Indolence poflefled me all, 
 How oft I rouzed at thy infpiring call ;
 
 C hi 3 
 Burft from the Syren's fafcinating power, 
 
 And gave the Mufe thou loveft, one studious 
 hour. 
 Proud of thy friendfhip, while the voice of 
 fame 345 
 
 Purfues thy merits with a loud acclaim, 
 I mare the triumph not unpleafed to fee 
 Our kindred destinies ; for thou like me, 
 
 Waft thrown too foon on the world's dangerous 
 tide, 
 
 To fink or fwim, as chance might best de- 
 cide. 350 
 
 Me, all too weak to gain the distant land, 
 
 The waves had whelmed, but that an outstretched 
 hand 
 
 Kindly upheld, when now with fear unnerved 
 
 And still protects the life it then preferved. 
 
 Thee, powers untried, perhaps unfelt be- 
 fore, 355 
 
 Enabled, tho' with pain, to reach the more,
 
 I >4* 3 
 While West stood by, the doubtful strife to 
 
 view, 
 Nor lent a friendly arm to help thee through. 
 Nor ceafed the labour there : Hate, ill-fupprest, 
 Advantage took of thy ingenuous breast, 360 
 
 Where faving wifdom yet had plac'd no fcreen, 
 But every word, and every thought was feen, 
 To darken all thy life 'Tis past: more 
 
 bright 
 Thro' the difparting gloom thou strikest the 
 
 fight ; 
 While baffled malice hastes thy powers to 
 
 own, * 365 
 
 And wonders at the worth fo long unknown. 
 I too, whofe voice no claims but truth's e'er 
 
 moved, 
 Who long have feen thy merits, long have loved, 
 Yet loved in lilence, lest the rout mould fay 
 Too partial friendfhip tuned th' applaufive 
 
 lay ; 370
 
 t 143 3 
 Now, now that all confpire thy name to raife, 
 May join the fhout of unfufpected praife. 
 
 Go then, fince the long struggle now is o'er, 
 And envy can obstruct thy fame no more ; 
 With ardent.hand thy magic toil purfue, 375 
 
 And pour frefh wonders on our raptured view. 
 One sun is fet, one glorious sun ; whofe 
 
 rays 
 Long gladdened Britain with no common blaze : 
 O, may'ft thou foon (for clouds begin to rife) 
 Aflert his station in the eastern flues, 380 
 
 Glow with his fires, and give the world to fee 
 Another Reynolds rifen, My friend, in 
 
 thee! 
 But whither roves the Mufe ? I but defigned 
 To note the few whofe praife delights my mind ; 
 But friendfhip's power has drawn the verfe 
 
 astray, 385 
 
 Wide from its aim, a long, but flowery way. 
 Yet one remains, one name for ever dear, 
 With whom, converting many a happy year,
 
 [ 144 ] 
 I marked with fecret joy the opening bloom 
 Of Virtue, prefcient of the fruits to come, 390 
 
 Truth, honour, reclitude O while thy breast, 
 
 My Belgrave! of its every wi(h poffest, 
 Swells with its recent tranfports, recent fears, 
 And tenderest titles strike, yet charm thy ears, 
 Say, wilt thou from thy feelings paufe awhile, 395 
 To view my humble labours with a fmile ? 
 Thou wilt : for still 'tis thy delight to praife, 
 And still thy fond applaufe has crowned my lays. 
 Here then I rest ; foothed with the hope to 
 
 prove 
 The approbation of " the few I love," 400 
 
 Joined (for ambitious thoughts will fometimes 
 
 rife) 
 Joined to th' endurance of the good and wife. 
 Thus happy I can leave with tranquil breast 
 Fafhion's loud praife to Laura and the rest, 
 Who rhyme and rattle, innocent of thought, 405 
 Nor know that nothing can proceed from nought.
 
 C 145 1 
 
 Thus happy, I can view unruffled, Miles, 
 Twift into fplay-foot doggrel all St. Giles. 
 Edwin fpin paragraphs with Vaughan's whole 
 
 Ml, 
 Efte rapt in nonfenfe, gnaw his grey-goofe 
 
 quill, 410 
 
 Merry in dithyrambics wail his wrongs, 
 And Wefton, foaming from Pope's odious 
 
 fongs, 
 " Much-injured Wefton," vent in odes his grief, 
 And fly to Urban for a (hort relief. 
 
 IMITATIONS. 
 
 V. 410. Complures alios, dodos ego quos 
 Prudens praetereo : quibus haec fint qualiacunque 
 Arridere velim ; doliturus, fi placeant fpe 
 Deterius nostra. Demetri teque Tigelli, 
 Difcipularum inter jubeo plorare cathedras. 
 
 FINIS.
 
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