M' University of California Berkeley THE NEW BOOKS OF HUMOUR. ^fOSH BILLINGS' FARMERS ALMA- J NACK. Price. 6d. *#* An admirable bit of Drollery. Josh's New and Improved Signs of the Zodiac, his Domestic Receipts, and Family Notions, are full of fun and dry humour. OF ROARING CAMP, and Other Stories. By BRET HARTE. Price is. *#* Inimitable stories of strange life in the Far West aivay on the Pacific slope. The fun, the very hiimour of the thing, has a May freshness zboiit it, which smacks not of the Old World. SENSATION NOVELS. Condensed by BRET HARTE. Price is. *#* A most enjoyable book. The principal living novelists will here find delightful little stories in their own pecriliar style and manner, and with the slightest and most delicate touches of satire. THAT HEATHEN CHINEE, and Other Poems. MOSTLY HUMOUROUS. By BRET HARTE. Price is. 6d. ; in cloth, extra, 2s. 6d. *#* An entirely new style of h^lmo^lr. On the other side of the Atlantic these inimitable bits of humour have been printed and reprinted in every newspaper throughout the land, giving the public an infinity of delight. MYSTERY OF MR. E. DROOD. Adaptation. By ORPHEUS C. KERR. Price is. *** Readers of the Famous "Orpheus C. Kerr Papers" will be glad to make the acquaintance of their author in another new book. " Orpheus C. Kerr s " ?iotion of the " MYSTERY " is very different from what the readers of Mr. Dickens* work would expect. POLICEMAN Y, his Opinions on WAR and the MI LI NOTARY. With Illustrations. By JOHN EDWARD SODEN. Price is. *.* Readers of Thackeray's "Policeman X. Ballads" will be much amused with the "Opinions " of his brother officer, "Policeman Y." His last ballad is entitled, "On our Impartiality, and how we don't want to Quarrel with Nobody." LONDON I JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN, 74 & 75j PICCADILLY. TJie following books have a special interest at this moment. PJAPOLEON ///., the Man of his Time. Crown 8vo, 400 pages, 73. 6d. PART I. The Story of the Life of Napoleon III., as told by JAS. M. HASWELL. PART II. The Same Story, as told by the POPULAR CARICA TURES of the past 25 years. *** The object of this "work is to give Both Sides of the story. The Artist has gone over the entire ground of Continental and English Caricatures for the last Quarter of a Century, and a very interesting book is the result. >ISMARCK: The Story of his Life. Told for Popular Reading. By Mr. GEORGE BULLEN, of the British Museum. Fcap. is. ; in cloth, is. 6d. %* " Any one who wishes to kncno all about Bismarck cannot do better than obtain this work" THE DISPATCH. CONSCRIPT. By MM. ERCKMANN- CHATRIAN. The only Unabridged English Edition, is. U/ATERLOO. A Sequel to "The Conscript" By MM. ERCKMANN-CHATRIAN. The only Unabridged English Edition, is. g^T The Two Works Complete, bound in cloth neat, admirably Adapted for School or Family Reading. Price 2s. "KPISTLE TO THE DEIL." By " HOLY WILLIE" of Prussia. Price 6d. %* A satirical poem, full of clever hits at tlie ostentatious piety of a cer tain great Emperor. "DAME EUROPA'S SCHOOL." Ubi met, ibi apes. 6d. THE FIGHT; or, The Sad End of John. * # * An exceedingly clever satire. Fresh characters are introduced, and the reader will be greatly diverted with " Mr. Popular William" and " General Thucydides Jonathan" LONDON 5 JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN, 74 & 75, PICCADILLY, The following books have a special interest at this moment. "DAME EUROPA'S SCHOOL." German Professor (at Dame Europas School) Explains to the Boys HOW ALSACE AND LORRAINE were Lost to Fatherland, is. * # * A very interesting history of these unfortunate provinces -provinces which have formed the cockpit of the two contending nations for many centuries past. KILLED AT SARRBRUCK. An Eng lishman's Adventures at the Seat of War. Narrated by EDWARD LEGGE. Price 2s. ; cloth, neat, 35. 6d. *#* A personal narrative of Five Month? Campaigning with the German Armies. "DAME EUROPA'S SCHOOL." This day, 6d. ; by post, 6|d. JOHN'S UNCLE (A Thoughtful Old J Gentleman} Thinks it time to say a Word : 1. How to Conquer England. 2. How to Defend England. 3. How to Thrash the Prussians. 4. How to Raise 500,000 Men JOHN'S UNCLE. Addenda. Price 6d. ; J by post, 6|d. 1. Funny-ism. Army Reform. 2. Danish, Turkish, Alabama Questions. 3. The Old Shekary Reviewed. This day, price 6d. >RITANNIAS BOX OF SOLDIERS. An Allegory of the Day. By WILLIAM R SNOW. BOUTS' OWN ACCOUNT of the Fight at Dame Europds School. Price 6d. LONDON ! JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN, 74 & 75, PICCADILLY, SENSATION NOVELS CONDENSED. BY BRET HARTE, AUTHOR OF " THE LUCK OF ROARING CAMP," " THAT HEATHEN CHINEE," ETC. LONDON : JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN, 74 & 75, PICCADILLY. \_All rights reserved.^ PRELIMINARY. 'BRET HARTE is the name of a new candi date for literary honour in this country. In America, where literary reputations, as well as commercial fortunes, are made much more quickly than in the Old World, Mr. Harte has within a very short time advanced from local to national fame. As the conductor of a newspaper in San Francisco he was known to his readers for his humour and great powers of description, and especially for his admirable pictures of local scenery and life as observable on the Pacific coast. When, therefore, three years since, the Overland Monthly magazine was started by a firm of Californian publishers, the command was placed in the hands of Mr. Harte, and the original and distinctive character 6 PRELIMINARY he has given to this transatlantic monthly has brought him the highest praise of the entire critical press of the United States. It is, without doubt, the most decidedly American magazine published, and as a monthly pano rama of Californian life and adventure has no rival in the immediate neighbourhood of its publication. In looking over a set of the Overland one is struck with the originality of the articles : they are racy of the soil from whence they spring, and they smack not of the Old World. At one time, we believe, Mr. Mark Twain was associated with Mr. Harte in conducting a San Francisco newspaper, and the author of the famous " Innocents' Abroad " subsequently contributed some humorous papers to the earty numbers cf his friend's Overland Monthly. The Chinese element in the population of California has been very successfully described by our author, and his best-known compositions are such inimitable short poems as "The Heathen Chinee," and " The Caucasian Played PRELIMINARY. 7 Out," which have been copied again and again into every newspaper throughout the Union. " The Luck of Roaring Camp," with other stones of wild Western life stories which for their pathos and humour are unequalled in the entire range of English or American literature have already been republished in this country. The "Humorous and other Poems" of the same author will also be familiar to our readers. The present are amougst Mr. Harte's earliest compositions, and the clever parodies of the works of well-known novelists will, doubtless, be as heartily appreciated by the English as by the American reading public. J. C. H. PICCADILLY, 6 Fel. t 1871. CONTENTS. PAGE. SELINA SEDILIA. By Miss M. E. B-dd-n and Mrs. H-n-y W-d 9 FANTINE. After the French of Victor Hugo ... 29 TERENCE DETJVILLE. By Ch-l-s L-v-r .... 39 THE DWELLER OF THE THEESHOLD. By Sir Ed-d L-tt-n B-lw-r 52 THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. By Al-x-nd-r D-m-s . 63 MucK-A-MucK. A Modern Indian Novel. After Cooper 77 MR. MIDSHIPMAN BREEZY. A Naval Officer. By Captain M-rry-t, E.N 94 GUY HEAVYSTONE; OR, "ENTIRE." A Muscular Novel. By the Author of " Sword and Gun." . . .113 THE HAUNTED MAN. A Christmas Story. By Ch-r-s D-c-k-ns 1*8 LA FEMME. After the French of M. Michelet . . .145 MARY McGiLLUP. A Southern Novel. After Belle Boyd ; with an Introduction by G. A. S-la . . . . 153 Miss Mix. By Ch-l-tte Br-nte . . . .169 N N. Being a Novel in the French Paragraphic Style . 190 No TITLE. By W-lk-e C-ll-ns 198 SELINA SEDILIA. BY MISS M. E. B-DD-N AND MRS. H-N-Y W-D. CHAPTER I. THE sun was setting over Sloperton Grange, and reddened the window of the lonely cham ber in the western tower, supposed to be haunted by Sir Edward Sedilia, the founder of the Grange. In the dreamy distance arose the gilded mausoleum of Lady Felicia Sedilia, who haunted that portion of Sedilia Manor known as " Stiff-uns Acre." A little to the left of the Grange might have been seen a moulder ing ruin, known as cc Guy's Keep," haunted by B io SELINA SEDILIA. the spirit of Sir Guy Sedilia, who was found, one morning, crushed by one of the fallen battlements. Yet, as the setting sun gilded these objects, a beautiful and almost holy calm seemed diffused about the Grange. The Lady Selina sat by an oriel window overlooking the park. The sun sank gently in the bosom of the German Ocean, and yet the lady did not lift her beautiful head from the finely-curved arm and diminutive hand which supported it. When darkness finally shrouded the landscape, she started, for the sound of horse-hoofs clattered over the stones of the avenue. She had scarcely risen before an aristocratic young man fell on his knees before her. "My Selina!" "Edgardo! You here?" " Yes, dearest." " And you you have seen nothing ?" said the lady in an agitated voice and nervous manner, turning her face aside to conceal her *> emotion. SELINA SEDILIA. n " Nothing that is, nothing of any account," said Edgardo. " I passed the ghost of your aunt in the park, noticed the spectre of your uncle in the ruined keep, and observed the familiar features of the spirit of your great grandfather at his post. But nothing beyond these trifles, my Selina. Nothing more, love, absolutely nothing." The young man turned his dark liquid orbs fondly upon the ingenuous face of his betrothed. " My own Edgardo ! and you still love me ? You still would marry me in spite of this dark mystery which surrounds me ? In spite of the fatal history of my race ? In spite of the ominous predictions of my aged nurse ?" " I would, Selina ;" and the young man passed his arm around her yielding waist. The two lovers gazed at each other's faces in un speakable bliss. Suddenly Selina started. " Leave me, Edgardo ! leave me ! A myste rious something a fatal misgiving a dark ambiguity an equivocal mistrust oppresses me* I would be alone !" 12 SEL1NA SEDILIA. The young man arose, and cast a loving glance on the lady. " Then we will be married on the seventeenth." "The seventeenth," repeated Selina, with a mysterious shudder. They embraced and parted. As the clatter of hoofs in the courtyard died away, the Lady Selina sank into the chair she had just quitted. "The seventeenth," she repeated slowly, with the same fatal shudder. " Ah ! what if he should know that I have another husband living ? Dare I reveal to him that I have two legitimate and three natural children ? Dare I repeat to him the history of my youth ? Dare I confess that at the age of seven I poisoned my sister, by putting verdigris in her cream- tarts that I threw my cousin from a swing at the age of twelve ? That the lady's-maid who incurred the displeasure of my girlhood now lies at the bottom of the horsepond ? No ! no ! he is too pure too good too innocent, to hear such improper conversation !" and her SELINA SEDILIA. 13 whole body writhed as she rocked to and fro in a paroxysm of grief. But she was soon calm. Rising to her feet, she opened a secret panel in the wall, and re vealed a slow-match ready for lighting. "This match," said the Lady Selina, "is connected with a mine beneath the western tower, where my three children are confined ; another branch of it lies under the parish church, where the record of my first marriage is kept. I have only to light this match and the whole of my past life is swept away !" She approached the match with a lighted candle. But a hand was laid upon her arm, and with a shriek the Lady Selina fell on her knees before the spectre of Sir Guy. 14 SELINA SEDILIA. CHAPTER II. " FORBEAR, Selina," said the phantom in a hollow voice. " Why should I forbear ?" responded Selina haughtily, as she recovered her courage. " You know the secret of our race?" "I do. Understand me I do not object to the eccentricities of your youth. I know the fearful fate which, pursuing you, led you to poison your sister and drown your lady's-maid. I know the awful doom which I have brought upon this house ! But if you make away with these children " "Well ?" said the Lady Selina hastily. "They will haunt you !" "Well, I fear them not," said Selina, draw ing her superb figure to its full height. " But what place are they to haunt ? The ruin is sacred to your uncle's spirit. Your SELINA SEDILIA. 15 aunt monopolises the park, and, I must be allowed to state, not unfrequently trespasses upon the grounds of others. The horsepond is frequented by the spirit of your maid, and your murdered sister walks these corridors. To be plain, there is no room at Sloperton Grange for another ghost. I cannot have them in my room for you know I don't like children. Think of this, rash girl, and forbear ! Would you, Selina," said the phantom mournfully., "would you force your great-grandfather's spirit to take lodgings elsewhere ?" Lady Selina's hand trembled ; the lighted candle fell from her nerveless fingers. " No," she cried passionately, " never !" and fell fainting to the floor. i6 SELINA SEDILIA. CHAPTER III. EDGARDO galloped rapidly towards Sloper- ton. When the outline of the Grange had faded away in the darkness, he reined his magnificent steed beside the ruins of Guy's Keep. " It wants but a few minutes of the hour," he said, consulting his watch by the light of the moon. " He dare not break his word. He will come." He paused, and peered anxiously into the darkness. " But come what may, she is mine," he continued, as his thoughts reverted fondly to the fair lady he had quitted. "Yet if she knew all. If she knew that I were a disgraced and ruined man a felon and an outcast. If she knew that at the age of fourteen I murdered my Latin tutor and forged my uncle's will. If she knew that I had three SELTNA SEDILIA. 17 wives already, and that the fourth victim of misplaced confidence and my unfortunate pecu liarity is expected to be at Sloperton by to night's train with her baby. But no; she must not know it. Constance must not arrive. Burke the Slogger must attend to that." "Ha! here he is! Well?" These words were addressed to a ruffian in a slouched hat, who suddenly appeared from Guy's Keep. " I be's here, measter," said the villain, with a disgracefully low accent and complete dis regard of grammatical rules. " It is well. Listen : I'm in possession of facts that will send you to the gallows. I know of the murder of Bill Smithers, the robbery of the toll-gate keeper, and the making away of the youngest daughter of Sir Reginald de Walton. A word from me, and the officers of justice are on you track." Burke the Slogger trembled. "Hark ye! serve my purpose, and I may yet save you. The 5.30 train from Clapham 1 8 SELINA SEDIL1A. will be due at Sloperton at 9.25. // must not arrive!" The villain's eyes sparkled as he nodded at Edgardo. " Enough you understand ; leave me !" SELINA SEDILIA. , 9 CHAPTER IV. ABOUT half a mile from Sloperton Station the South Clapham and Medway line crossed a bridge over Sloperton-on-Trent. As the shades of evening were closing, a man in a slouched hat might have been seen carrying a saw and axe under his arm, hanging about the bridge. From time to time he disappeared in the shadow of its abutments, but the sound of a saw and axe still betrayed his vicinity. At exactly nine o'clock he reappeared, and crossing to the Sloperton side, rested his shoulder against the abutment and gave a shove. The bridge swayed a moment, and then fell with a splash ' into the water, leaving a space of one hundred feet between the two banks. This done, Burke the Slogger for it was he with a fiendish chuckle seated himself on the divided 20 SEL1NA SEDILIA. railway track and awaited the coming of the train. A shriek from the woods announced its approach. For an instant Burke the Slogger saw the glaring of a red lamp. The ground trembled. The train was going with fearful rapidity. Another second and it had reached the bank. Burke the Slogger uttered a fiendish laugh. But the next moment the train leaped across the chasm, striking the rails exactly even, and, dashing out the life of Burke the Slogger, sped away to Sloperton. The first object that greeted Edgardo as he rode up to the station on the arrival of the train, was the body of Burke the Slogger hang ing on the cow-catcher; the second was the face of his deserted wife looking from the windows of a second-class carriage. SELINA SEDILIA. 21 CHAPTER V. A NAMELESS terror seemed to have taken possession of Clarissa, Lady Selina' s maid, as she rushed into the presence of her mistress. " Oh, my lady, such news !" "Explain yourself," said her mistress, rising. "An accident has happened on the railway, and a man has been killed." "What not Edgardo!" almost screamed Selina. " No, Burke the Slogger, your ladyship !" " My first husband !" said Lady Selina, sink ing on her knees. "Just Heaven, I thank thee!" ^^ SELINA SEDILIA. CHAPTER VI. THE morning of the seventeenth dawned brightly over Sloperton. "A fine day for the wedding," said the sexton to Swipes, the butler of Sloperton Grange. The aged retainer shook his head sadly. " Alas ! there's no trusting in signs!" he continued. "Seventy-five years ago, on a day like this, my young mistress " but he was cut short by the appearance of a stranger. "I would see Sir Edgardo," said the new comer, impatiently. The bridegroom, who, with the rest of the wedding train, was about stepping into the carriage to proceed to the parish church, drew the stranger aside. "It's done!" said the stranger, in a hoarse whisper. " Ah ! and you buried her ?" SELINA SEDILIA. 23 "With the others!" " Enough. No more at present. Meet me after the ceremony, and you shall have your reward." The stranger shuffled away, and Edgardo returned to his bride. "A trifling matter of business I had forgotten, my dear Selina; let us proceed," and the young man pressed the timid hand of his blushing bride as he handed her into the carriage. The cavalcade rode out of the courtyard. At the same moment, the deep bell on Guy's Keep tolled ominously. 24 SELINA SEDILIA. CHAPTER VII. SCARCELY had the wedding train left the Grange than Alice Sedilia, youngest daughter of Lady Selina, made her escape from the western tower, owing to a lack of watchful ness on the part of Clarissa. The innocent child, freed from restraint, rambled through the lonely corridors, and finally, opening a door, found herself in her mother's boudoir. For some time she amused herself by exa mining the various ornaments and elegant trifles with which it was filled. Then, in pursuance of a childish freak, she dressed herself in her mother's laces and ribbons. In this occupation she chanced to touch a peg which proved to be a spring that opened a secret panel in the wall. Alice uttered a cry of delight as she noticed what, to her childish fancy, appeared to be the SELINA SEDtLIA. 25 slow-match of a firework. Taking a lucifer match in her hand she approached the fuse. She hesitated a moment. What would her mother and her nurse say ? Suddenly the ringing of the chimes of Sloperton parish church met her ear. Alice knew that the sound signified that the marriage party had entered the church, and that she was secure from interruption. With a childish smile upon her lips, Alice Sedilia touched off the slow-match. SEL1NA SEDILIA. CHAPTER VIII. AT exactly two o'clock on the seventeenth, Rupert Sedilia, who had just returned from India, was thoughtfully descending the hill towards Sloperton Manor. "If I can prove that my aunt Lady Selina was married before my father died, I can establish my claim to Sloperton Grange," he uttered, half aloud. He paused, for a sudden trembling of the earth beneath his feet, and a terrific explosion, as of a park of artillery, arrested his progress. At the same moment he beheld a dense cloud of smoke envelop the churchyard of Sloperton, and the western tower of the Grange seemed to be lifted bodily from its foundation. The air seemed filled with falling fragments, and two dark objects struck the earth close at his feet. Rupert picked them up. One seemed to be a heavy volume bound in brass. SELINA SEDILIA. 27 A cry burst from his lips. "The Parish Records." He opened the volume hastily. It contained the marriage of Lady Selina to " Burke the Slogger." The second object proved to be a piece of parchment. He tore it open with trembling fingers. It was the missing will of Sir James Sedilia! 28 SELINA SEDILIA. CHAPTER IX. WHEN the bells again rang on the new parish church of Sloperton it was for the mar riage of Sir Rupert Sedilia and his cousin, the only remaining members of the family. Five more ghosts were added to the super natural population of Sloperton Grange. Per haps this was the reason why Sir Rupert sold the property shortly afterward, and that for many years a dark shadow seemed to hang over the ruins of Sloperton Grange. FANTINE. AFTER THE FRENCH OF VICTOR HUGO. PROLOGUE. As long as there shall exist three paradoxes a moral Frenchman, a religious Atheist, and a believing sceptic so long, in fact, as booksellers shall wait say twenty-five years for a new gospel ; so long as paper shall remain cheap and ink three sous a bottle, I have no hesitation in saying that such books as these are not utterly profitless. VICTOR HUGO. I. To be good is to be queer. What is a good man? Bishop Myriel. My friend, you will possibly object to this. You will say you know what a good man is. Perhaps you will say your clergyman is a good man. for instance. So FANTINE. Bah ! you are mistaken ; you are an Eng lishman, and an Englishman is a beast. Englishmen think they are moral when they are only serious. These Englishmen also wear ill-shaped hats, and dress horribly ! Bah ! they are canaille. Still, Bishop Myriel was a good man quite as good as you. Better than you, in fact. One day M. Myriel was in Paris. This angel used to walk about the streets like any other man. He was not proud, though fine- looking. Well, three gamins de Paris called him bad names. Says one : " Ah, mon Dieu ! there goes a priest ; look out for your eggs and chickens !" What did this good man do ? He called to them kindly : " My children," said he, " this is clearly not your fault. I recognise in this insult and irre verence only the fault of your immediate pro genitors. Let us pray for your immediate progenitors." FANTINE. 31 They knelt down and prayed for their imme diate progenitors. The effect was touching. The Bishop looked calmly around : " On reflection," said he, gravely, " I was mistaken ; this is clearly the fault of Society. Let us pray for Society." They knelt down and prayed for Society. The effect was sublimer yet. What do you think of that ? You, I mean. Everybody remembers the story of the Bishop and Mother Nez Retrousse. Old Mother Nez Retrousse sold asparagus. She was poor; there's a great deal of meaning in that word, my friend. Some people say "poor but honest ;" I say, Bah ! Bishop Myriel bought six bunches of as paragus. This good man had one charm ing failing ; he was fond of asparagus. He gave her a franc and received three sous change. The sous were bad counterfeit. What did this good Bishop do ? He said : " I 32 FANTINE. should not have taken change from a poor woman." Then afterwards to his housekeeper : "Never take change from a poor woman." Then he added to himself: "For the sous will probably be bad." n. WHEN a man commits a crime society claps him in prison. A prison is one of the worst hotels imaginable. The people there are low and vulgar. The butter is bad, the coffee is green. Ah, it is horrible ! In prison, as in a bad hotel, a man soon loses, not only his morals, but what is much worse to a Frenchman, his sense of refinement and delicacy. Jean Valjean came from prison with confused notions of society. He forgot the modern peculiarities of hospitality. So he walked off with the Bishop's candlesticks. Let us consider: candlesticks were stolen; that was evident. Society put Jean Valjean FANT1NE. 33 in prison ; that was evident, too. In prison. Society took away his refinement; that is evident, likewise. Who is Society ? You and I are Society. My friend, you and I stole those candle sticks ! in. THE Bishop thought so, too. He medi tated profoundly for six days. On the morn ing of the seventh he went to the Prefecture of Police. He said : " Monsieur, have me arrested. I have stolen candlesticks." The official was governed by the law of Society, and refused. What did this Bishop do ? He had a charming ball and chain made, affixed to his leg, and wore it the rest of his life. This is a fact ! 34 FANTINE. IV. LOVE is a mystery. A little friend of mine down in the country, at Auvergne, said to me one day : " Victor, Love is the world it contains everything." She was only sixteen, this sharp-witted little girl, and a beautiful blonde. She thought everything of me. Fantine was one of those women who do wrong in the most virtuous and touching manner. This is a peculiarity of French grisettes. You are an Englishman, and you don't understand. Learn, my friend, learn. Come to Paris and improve your morals. Fantine was the soul of modesty. She always wore high-neck dresses. High-neck dresses are a sign of modesty. Fantine loved Thomolyes. Why? My God! What are you to do? It was the fault of her parents, and she hadn't any. How shall you teach her? You must teach the FANTINE. 35 parent if you wish to educate the child. How would you become virtuous ? Teach your grandmother ! v. WHEN Thoinolyes ran away from Fantine which was done in a charming, gentlemanly manner Fantine became convinced that a rigid sense of propriety might look upon her conduct as immoral. She was a creature of sensitive ness and her eyes were opened. She was virtuous still, and resolved to break off the liaison at once. So she put up her wardrobe and baby in a bundle. Child as she was, she loved them both. Then left Paris. VI. FANTINE'S native place had changed. M. Madeline an angel, and inventor of jet- work, had been teaching the villagers how to make spurious jet ! This is a progressive age. Those Americans 3 6 FAN TINE. children of the West they make nutmegs out of wood. I, myself, have seen hams made of pine, in the wigwams of those children of the forest. But civilisation has acquired deception too. Society is made up of deception. Even the best French society. Still there was one sincere episode. Eh? The French Revolution ! VII. M. MADELINE was, if anything, better than Myriel. M. Myriel was a saint. M. Madeline a good man. M. Myriel was dead. M. Madeline was living. That made all the difference. M. Madeline made virtue profitable. I have seen it written : "Be virtuous and you will be happy." Where did I see this written? In the FANTINE. 37 modern Bible? No. In the Koran? No. In Rousseau ? No. Diderot ? No. Where then ? In a copy book. VIII. M. MADELINE was M. le Maire. This is how it came about. For a long time he refused the honour. One day an old woman, standing on the steps, said : " Bah, a good mayor is a good thing, You are a good thing. Be a good mayor." This woman was a rhetorician. She under stood inductive ratiocination. IX. WHEN this good M. Madeline, whom the reader will perceive must have been a former convict, and a very bad man gave himself up to justice as the real Jean Valjean ; about this same time, Fantine was turned away from the manufactory, and met with a number of losses 38 FANTINE. from society. Society attacked her, and this ; s what she lost : First her lover. Then her child. Then her place. Then her hair. Then her teeth. Then her liberty. Then her life. What do you think of society after that ? I tell you the present social system is a humbug. x. THIS is necessarily the end of Fantine. There are other things that will be stated in other volumes to follow. Don't be alarmed: there are plenty of miserable people left. Au revoir my friend. TERENCE DEUVILLE. BY CH-L-S L-V-R. CHAPTER I. MY HOME. THE little village of Pilwiddle is one of the smallest and obscurest hamlets on the western coast of Ireland. On a lofty crag, overlooking the hoarse Atlantic, stands "Deuville's Shot Tower" a corruption by the peasantry of D'Eauville's Chateau, so called from my great grandfather, Phelim St. Remy D ? Euville, who assumed the name and title of a French heiress with whom he ran away. To this fact my familiar knowledge and excellent pronunciation 40 TERENCE DEUVILLE. of the French language may be attributed, as well as many of the events which covered my after life. The Deuvilles were always passionately fond of field sports. At the age of four, I was already the boldest rider and the best shot in the country. When only eight, I won the St. Remy Cup at the Pilwiddle races riding my favourite bloodmare Hellfire. As I approached the stand amidst the plaudits of the assembled multitude, and cries of " Thrue for ye, Masther Terence," and Oh, but it's a Diuville !" there was a slight stir among the gentry, who sur rounded the Lord Lieutenant, and other titled personages whom the race had attracted thither. "How young he is a mere child; and yet how noble looking," said a sweet, low voice, which thrilled my soul. I looked up and met the full liquid orbs of the Hon. Blanche Fitzroy Sackville, youngest daughter of the Lord Lieutenant. She blushed deeply. I turned pale and almost fainted. But the cold, sneering tones of a masculine voice TERENCE DEUVILLE. 41 sent the blood back again into my youthful cheek. " Very likely the ragged scion of one of these banditti Irish gentry, who has taken naturally to ' the road.' He should be at school though I warrant me his knowledge of Terence will not extend beyond his own name," said Lord Henry Somerset, aide-de-camp to the Lord-Lieutenant. A moment and I was perfectly calm, though cold as ice. Dismounting, and stepping to the side of the speaker, I said in a low, firm voice : "Had your Lordship read Terence more carefully, you would have learned that banditti are sometimes proficient in other arts beside horsemanship," and I touched his holster signi ficantly with my hand. I had not read Terence myself, but with the skilful audacity of my race I calculated that a vague allusion, coupled with a threat, would embarrass him. It did. " Ah what mean 'you ?" he said, white with rage. " Enough, we are observed," I replied ; D 4 TERENCE DEUVILLE. " Father Tom will wait on you this evening ; and to-morrow morning, my lord, in the glen below Pilwiddle we will meet again." " Father Tom glen !" ejaculated the Eng lishman, with genuine surprise. " What ? do priests carry challenges and act as seconds in your infernal country ?" " Yes !" I answered scornfully, " why should they not ? Their services are more often necessary than those of a surgeon," I added significantly, turning away. The party slowly rode off, with the excep tion of the Hon. Blanche Sackville, who lin gered for a moment behind. In an instant I was at her side. Bending her blushing face over the neck of her white filly, she said hurriedly : " Words have passed between Lord Somer set and yourself. You are about to fight. Don't deny it but hear me. You will meet him I know your skill of weapons. He will be at your mercy. I entreat you to spare his life!" TERENCE DEUVILLE. 43 I hesitated. " Never !" I cried passionately ; " he has insulted a Deuville !" "Terence," she whispered, " Terence -for my sake ?" ' The blood rushed to my cheeks at the loving epithets, and her eyes sought the ground in bashful confusion. " You love him then !" I cried, bitterly. " No, no," she said, agitatedly, " no, you do me wrong. I I cannot explain myself. My father ! the Lady Dowager Sackville the estate of Sackville the borough my uncle, Fitzroy Somerset. Ah ? what am I saying ? Forgive me. Oh, Terence," she said, as her beautiful head sank on my shoulder, " you know not what I suffer !" I seized her hand and covered it with pas sionate kisses. But the high-bred English girl, recovering something of her former hauteur, said hastily, " Leave me, leave me, but promise !" " I promise," I replied, enthusiastically : " will spare his life !" 44 TERENCE DEUVILLE. "Thanks, Terence thanks!" and disen gaging her hand from my lips she rode rapidly away. The next morning, the Hon. Capt. Henry Somerset and myself exchanged nineteen shots in the glen, and at each fire I shot away a button from his uniform. As my last bullet shot off the last button from his sleeve, I re marked quietly, "You seem now, my lord, to be almost as ragged as the gentry you sneered at," and rode haughtily away. TERENCE DEUV1LLE. CHAPTER II. THE FIGHTING FIFTY-SIXTH. WHEN I was nineteen years old my father cold the Chateau d'Euville and purchased my commission in the "Fifty-sixth" with the proceeds. " I say, Deuville," said young McSpadden, a boy-faced ensign, who had just joined, "you'll represent the estate in the Army, if you won't in the House." Poor fellow, he paid for his meaningless joke with his life, for I shot him through the heart the ii3xt morning. "You're a good fellow, Deu ville," said the poor boy faintly, as I knelt beside him : " good-bye !" For the first time since my grandfather's death I wept. I could not help thinking that I would have been a better man if Blanche but why proceed ? Was she not now in Florence the belle of the English Embassy ? 46 TERENCE DEUVILLE. But Napoleon had returned from Elba. Europe was in a blaze of excitement. The Allies were preparing to resist the Man of Destiny, We were ordered from Gibraltar home, and were soon again en route for Brussels, I did not regret that I was to be placed in active service. I was ambitious, and longed for an opportunity to distinguish myself. My garrison life in Gibraltar had been mono tonous and dull. I had killed five men in duel,. and had an affair with the colonel of my regiment, who handsomely apologised before the matter assumed a serious aspect. I had been twice in love. Yet these were but boyish freaks and follies. I wished to be a man. The time soon came the morning of Waterloo. But why describe that momentous battle, on which the fate of the entire world was hanging? Twice were the Fifty-sixth surrounded by French cuirassiers, and twice did we mow them down by our fire. I had seven horses shot under me, and was mounting the eighth, when an orderly rode up hastily, TERENCE DEUV1LLE. 47 touched his cap, and handing me a despatch, galloped rapidly away. I opened it hurriedly and read : "LET PlCTON ADVANCE IMMEDIATELY ON THE RIGHT." I saw it all at a glance. I had been mis taken for a general officer. But what was to be done ? Picton's division was two miles away, only accessible through a heavy cross fire of artillery and musketry. But my mind was made up. In an instant I was engaged with an entire squadron of cavalry, who endeavoured to sur round me. Cutting my way through them, I advanced boldly upon a battery and sabred the gunners before they could bring their pieces to bear. Looking around, I saw that I had in fact penetrated the French centre. Before I was well aware of the locality, I was hailed by a sharp voice in French : " Come here, sir !" I obeyed, and advanced to the side of a little man in a cocked hat. 48 TERENCE DEUVILLE. "Has Grouchy come?" "Not yet, sire," I replied for it was the Emperor. "Ha!" he said suddenly, bending his piercing eyes on my uniform; " a prisoner ?" "No, sire," I replied proudly. " A spy ?" I placed my hand upon my sword, but a gesture from the Emperor bade me forbear. " You are a brave man," he said. I took my snuff-box from my pocket, and taking a pinch, replied by handing it, with a bow, to the Emperor. His quick eye caught the cipher on the lid. " What ! a Deuville ? Ha ! this accounts for the purity of your accent. Any relation to Roderick d'Euville ?" " My father, sire !" "He was my schoolfellow at the Ecole Polytechnique. Embrace me !" and the Em peror fell upon my neck in the presence of his entire staff. Then recovering himself, he gently placed in my hand his own magnificent TJ-:UI:MJE DKUVILLE. 49 .muff-box, in exchange for mine, and hanging upon my breast the cross of the Legion of Honour which he took from his own, he bade one of his Marshals conduct me back to my regiment. I was so intoxicated with the honour of which I had been the recipient, that on reach ing our lines I uttered a shout of joy and put spurs to my horse. The intelligent animal seemed to sympathise with my feelings, and fairly flew over the ground. On a rising eminence a few yards before me stood a grey- haired officer, surrounded by his staff. I don't know what possessed me, but putting spurs to my horse, I rode at him boldly, and with one bound cleared him, horse and all. A shout of indignation arose from the assembled staff. I wheeled suddenly, with the intention of apolo gising, but my mare misunderstood me, and again dashing forward, once more vaulted over the head of the officer, this time unfortunately uncovering him by a vicious kick of her hoof. " Seize him !" roared the entire army. I was 50 TERENCE DEUVILLE. seized. As the soldiers led me away, I asked the name of the grey-haired officer. " That why that's the DUKE OF WELLINGTON I" I fainted. ***** For six months I had brain fever. During my illness the grapeshot were extracted from my body which I had unconsciously received during the battle. When I opened my eyes I met the sweet glance of a Sister of Mercy " Blanche !" I stammered feebly. " The same," she replied. " You here ?" " Yes, dear ; but hush ! It's a long story. You see, dear Terence, your grandfather married my great-aunt's sister, and your father again married my grandmother's niece, who dying without a will, was, according to the French law " "But I do not comprehend," I said. "Of course not," said Blanche, with her old sweet smile ; " you've had brain fever ; so go to sleep." TERENCE DEUV1LLE. I understood, however, that Blanche loved me ; and I am now, dear reader, Sir Terence Sackville, K.C.B., and Lady Blanche is Lady Sackville. THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD BY SIR ED-D L-TT-N B-LW-R BOOK I. THE PROMPTINGS OF THE IDEAL IT was noon. Sir Edward had stepped from his brougham and was proceeding on foot down the Strand. He was dressed with his usual faultless taste, but in alighting from his vehicle his foot had slipped, and a small round disc of conglomerated soil, which instantly appeared on his high arched instep, marred the THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. 53 harmonious glitter of his boots. Sir Edward was fastidious. Casting his eyes around, at a little distance he perceived the stand of a youthful bootblack. Thither he sauntered, and carelessly placing his foot on the low stool, he waited the application of the polisher's Art. "Tis true," said Sir Edward to himself, yet half aloud, " the contact of the Foul and the Disgusting mars the general effect of the Shiny and the Beautiful and yet, why am I here ? I repeat it, calmly and deliberately why am I here? Ha! Boy!" The Boy looked up his dark Italian eyes glanced intelligently at the Philosopher, and, as with one hand he tossed back his glossy curls from his marble brow, and with the other he spread the equally glossy Day and Martin over the Baronet's boot, he answered in deep rich tones: "The Ideal is subjective to the Real. The exercise of apperception gives a distinctiveness to idiocracy, which is, however, subject to the limits of ME. You are an admirer of the Beautiful, sir. You wish your 54 THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. boots blacked. The Beautiful is attainable by means of the Coin." " Ah," said Sir Edward thoughtfully, gazing upon the almost supernal beauty of the Child before him; "you speak well. You have read Kant." The Boy blushed deeply. He drew a copy of Kant from his bosom, but in his confusion several other volumes dropped from his bosom on the ground. The Baronet picked them up, " Ah !" said the Philosopher, " what's this ? Cicero's De Senectute, and at your age, too? MartiaFs Epigrams^ Casals Commentaries. What ! a classical scholar ?" "E pluribus Unum. Nux vomica. Nil desperandum. Nihil fit !" said the Boy, enthu siastically. The Philosopher gazed at the Child. A strange presence seemed to trans fuse and possess him. Over the brow of the Boy glittered the pale nimbus of the Student. " Ah, and Schiller's Robbers, too ?" queried the Philosopher. " Das ist ausgespielt," said the Boy modestly. THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. 55 "Then you have read my translation of Schiller's Ballads?" continued the Baronet, with some show of interest. "I have, and infinitely prefer them to the original," said the Boy with intellectual warmth. "You have shown how in Actual life we strive for a Goal we cannot reach ; how in the Ideal the Goal is attainable, and there effort is victory. You have given us the Anti thesis which is a key to the Remainder, and constantly balances before us the conditions of the Actual and the privileges of the Ideal." " My very words," said the Baronet ; " won derful, wonderful!" and he gazed fondly at the Italian boy, who again resumed his menial employment. Alas ! the wings of the Ideal were folded. The Student had been absorbed in the Boy. But Sir Edward's boots were blacked, and he turned to depart. Placing his hand upon the clustering tendrils that surrounded the classic nob of the infant Italian, he said softly, like a strain of distant music : 56 THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD, " Boy, you have done well. Love the Good. Protect the Innocent. Provide for The Indi gent. Respect the Philosopher." ..." Stay ! Can you tell me what is The True, The Beau tiful, The Innocent, The Virtuous ?" "They are things that commence with a capital letter," said the Boy, promptly. " Enough ! Respect everything that com mences with a capital letter? Respect ME!" and dropping a halfpenny in the hand of the Boy, he departed. The Boy gazed fixedly at the coin. A frightful and instantaneous change overspread his features. His noble brow was corrugated with baser lines of calculation. His black eye, serpent-like, glittered with suppressed passion. Dropping upon his hands and feet, he crawled to the curbstone and hissed after the retreating form of the Baronet, the single word : "Bilk!" THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. 57 BOOK II. IN THE WORLD. "ELEVEN years ago," said Sir Edward to himself, as his brougham slowly rolled him toward the Committee Room ; "just eleven years ago my natural son disappeared mys teriously. I have no doubt in the world but that this little bootblack is he. His mother died in Italy. He resembles his mother very much. Perhaps I ought to provide for him. Shall I disclose myself? No! no! Better he should taste the sweets of labour. Penury ennobles the mind and kindles the Love of the Beautiful. I will act to him, not like a Father, not like a Guardian, not like a Friend but like a Philosopher !" With these words, Sir Edward entered the Committee Room. His Secretary approached him. " Sir Edward, there are fears of a divi- 5 8 THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. sion in the House, and the Prime Minister has sent for you." "I will be there," said Sir Edward, as he placed his hand on his chest and uttered a hollow cough ! No one who heard the Baronet that night, in his sarcastic and withering speech on the Drainage and Sewerage Bill, would have recog nised the lover of the Ideal and the Philosopher of the Beautiful. No one who listened to his eloquence would have dreamed of the Spartan resolution this iron man had taken in regard to the Lost Boy his own beloved Lionel. None ! "A fine speech from Sir Edward to-night," said Lord Billingsgate, as, arm-in-arm with the Premier, he entered his carriage. " Yes ! but how dreadfully he coughs !" "Exactly. Dr. Bolus says his lungs are entirely gone ; he breathes solely by an effort of will, and altogether independent of pulmo nary assistance." "How strange!" and the carriage rolled away. THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. 59 BOOK III. THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. " ADON Ai, appear ! appear !" And as the Seer spoke, the awful Presence glided out of Nothingness, and sat, sphinxlike, at the feet of the Alchemist. " I am come !" said the Thing. " You should say, c I have come' it's better grammar," said the Boy-Neophyte, thought fully accenting the substituted expression. "Hush, rash Boy," said the Seer sternly. "Would you oppose your feeble knowledge to the infinite intelligence of the Unmistakable ? A word, and you are lost for ever." The Boy breathed a silent prayer, and hand ing a sealed package to the Seer, begged him to hand it to his father in case of his prema ture decease* Co THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. " You have sent for me," hissed the Presence. "Behold me, Apokatharticon the Unpro nounceable. In me all things exist which are not already co-existent. I am the Unattainable, the Intangible, the Cause and the Effect. In me observe the Brahma of Mr. Emerson ; not only Brahma himself, but also the sacred musical composition rehearsed by the faithful Hindoo. I am the real Gyges. None others are genuine." And the veiled Son of the Starbeam laid himself loosely about the room, arid permeated Space generally. "Unfathomable Mystery," said the Rosi- crucian in a low, sweet voice. "Brave Child with the Vitreous Optic ! Thou who pervadest all things and rubbest against us without abrasion of the cuticle. I command thee, speak !" And the misty, intangible, indefinite Presence spoke. THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. 6: BOOK IV. MYSELF. AFTER the events related in the last chapter, the reader will perceive that nothing was easier than to reconcile Sir Edward to his son Lionel, nor to resuscitate the beautiful Italian girl, who, it appears, was not dead, and to cause Sir Edward to marry his first and boyish love whom he had deserted. They were married in St. George's, Hanover Square. As the bridal party stood before the altar, Sir Edward, with a sweet sad smile, said, in quite his old manner : " The Sublime and Beautiful are the Real ; the only Ideal is the Ridiculous and Homely. Let us always remember this. Let us through life endeavour to personify the virtues, and always begin 'em with a capital letter. Let 6z THE DWELLER OF THE THRESHOLD. us, whenever we can find an opportunity, deliver our sentiments in the form of round- hand copies. Respect the Aged. Eschew Vulgarity. Admire Ourselves. Regard the Novelist." THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. RY AL-X-D-R D-M-S. CHAPTER I. SHOWING THE QUALITY OF THE CUSTOMERS OF THE INNKEEPER OF PROVINS. TWENTY years after, the -gigantic innkeeper of Provins stood looking at a cloud of dust on the highway. This cloud of dust betokened the approach of a traveller. Travellers had been rare that season on the highway between Paris and Provins. The heart of the innkeeper rejoiced. Turn- 64 THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. ing to Dame Perigord, his wife, he said, stroking his white apron : " St. Denis ! make haste and spread the cloth. Add a bottle of Charlevoix to the table. This traveller, who rides so fast, by his pace must be a Monseigneur." Truly the traveller, clad in. the uniform of a musketeer, as he drew up to the door of the hostelry, did not seem to have spared his horse. Throwing his reins to the landlord, he leaped lightly to the ground. He was a young man of four and twenty, and spoke with a slight Gascon accent. " I am hungry. Morbleu ! I wish to dine !" The gigantic innkeeper bowed and led the way to a neat apartment, where a table stood covered with tempting viands. The musketeer at once set to work. Fowls, fish, and pates disappeared before him. Perigord sighed as he witnessed the devastation. Only once the stranger paused. "Wine!" Perigord brought wine. The stranger drank THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. 65 a dozen bottles. Finally he rose to depart. Turning to the expectant landlord, he said : " Charge it." " To whom, your highness ?" said Perigord, anxiously. " To his Eminence !" " Mazarin !" ejaculated the innkeeper. " The same. Bring me my horse," and the musketeer, remounting his favourite animal, rode away. The innkeeper slowly turned back into the inn. Scarcely had he reached the courtyard, before the clatter of hoofs again called him to the doorway. A musketeer of a light and graceful figure rode up. "Parbleu, my dear Perigord, I am famish ing. What have you got for dinner?" " Venison, capons, larks and pigeons, your excellency," replied the obsequious landlord, bowing to the ground. "Enough!" The young musketeer dis mounted and entered the inn. Seating him self at the table replenished by the careful 66 THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. Perigord, he speedily swept it as clean as the first comer. " Some wine, my brave Perigord," said the graceful .young musketeer, as soon as he could find utterance. Perigord brought three dozen of Charlevoix. The young man emptied them almost at a draught. " By-by, Perigord," he said lightly, waving his hand, as, preceding the astonished landlord, he slowly withdrew. "But, your highness the bill," said the astounded Perigord. " Ah, the bill. Charge it !" " To whom ?" "The Queen!" " What, Madam ?" "The same. Adieu, my good Perigord," and the graceful stranger rode away. An interval of quiet succeeded, in which the inn keeper gazed woefully at his wife. Suddenly he was startled by a clatter of hoofs, and an aristocratic figure stood in the doorway. THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. 67 "Ah," said the courtier good-naturedly. " What, do my eyes deceive me ? No, it is the festive and luxurious Perigord. Perigord, listen. I famish. I languish. I would dine." The innkeeper again covered the table with viands. Again it was swept clean as the fields of Egypt before the miraculous swarm of locusts. The stranger looked up. " Bring me another fowl, my Perigord." "Impossible, your excellency, the larder is stripped clean." " Another flitch of bacon, then." "Impossible, your highness there is no more." " Well, then, wine !" The landlord brought one hundred and forty-four bottles. The courtier drank them all. " One may drink if one cannot eat," said the aristocratic stranger, good-humouredly. The innkeeper shuddered. The guest rose to depart. The innkeeper came slowly forward with his bill, to which he 6S THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. had covertly added the losses which he had suffered from the previous strangers. " Ah ! the bill charge it." " Charge it ! to whom ?" " To the King," said the guest. What ! his Majesty ?" " Certainly. Farewell, Perigord." The innkeeper groaned. Then he went out and took down his sign. Then remarked to his wife : "I am a plain man, and don't understand politics. It seems, however, that the country is in a troubled state. Between his Eminence the Cardinal, his Majesty the King, and her Majesty the Queen, I am a ruined man." " Stay," said Dame Perigord, " I have an idea." " And that is " " Become yourself a musketeer." THE N2JNJSTYJHNE GUARDSMEN. 69 CHAPTER II. THE COMBAT. ON leaving Provins the first musketeer pro ceeded to Nangis, where he was reinforced by thirty-three followers. The second musketeer, arriving at Nangis at the same moment, placed himself at the head of thirty-three more. The third guest of the Landlord of Provins arrived at Nangis in time to assemble together thirty- three other musketeers. The first stranger led the troops of his Eminence. The second led the troops of the C)ueen. The third led the troops of the King. The fight commenced. It raged terribly for seven hours. The first musketeer killed thirty of the Queen's troops. The second muske- 70 THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. teer killed thirty of the King's troops. The third musketeer killed thirty of his Eminence's troops. By this time it will be perceived the number of musketeers had been narrowed down to four on each side. Naturally the three principal warriors ap proached each other. They simultaneously uttered a cry : Aramis !" Athos !" " D' Artagnan !" They fell into each other's arms. "And it seems that we are fighting against each other, my children," said the Count de la Fere, mournfully. " How singular !" exclaimed Aramis and D' Artagnan. c ' Let us stop this fratricidal warfare," said Athos. "We will !" they exclaimed together. " But how to disband our followers ?" queried D'Artagnan. THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. 71 Aramis winked. They understood each other. " Let us cut 'em down !" They cut 'em down. Aramis killed three. D'Artagnan three. Athos three. The friends again embraced. " How like old times !" said Aramis. " How touching !" exclaimed the serious and philosophic Count de la Fere. The galloping of hoofs caused them to with draw from each other's embraces. A gigantic figure rapidly approached. " The innkeeper of Provins !" they cried, drawing their swords. "Perigord, down with him!" shouted D'Artagnan. " Stay," said Athos. The gigantic figure was beside them. He uttered a cry. " Athos, Aramis, D'Artagnan !" " Porthos !" exclaimed the astonished trio. " The same." They all fell in each other's arms. The Count de la Fere slowly raised his 7 z THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. hands to Heaven. " Bless you ! Bless us, my children ! However different our opinions may be in regard to politics, we have but one opinion in regard to our own merits. Where can you find a better man than Aramis ?" " Than Porthos ?" said Aramis. " Than D'Artagnan ?" said Porthos. "Than Athos?" said D'Artagnan. THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. 73 CHAPTER III. SHOWING HOW THE KING OF FRANCE WENT UP A LADDER. THE King descended into the garden. Pro ceeding cautiously along the terraced walk, he came to the wall immediately below the windows of Madame. To the left were two windows, concealed by vines. They opened into the apartments of La Valliere. The King sighed. " It is about nineteen feet to that window," said the King. "If I had a ladder about nineteen feet long, it would reach to that window. This is logic." Suddenly the King stumbled over something. " St. Denis !" he exclaimed, looking down. It was a ladder, just nineteen feet long. The King placed it against the wall. In so doing, he fixed the lower end upon the abdomen of a man who lay concealed by the wall. The F 74 THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. man did not utter a cry or wince. The King suspected nothing. He ascended the ladder. The ladder was too short. Louis the Grand was not a tall man. He was still two feet below the window. " Dear me !" said the King. Suddenly the ladder was lifted two feet from below. This enabled the King to leap in the window. At the further end of the apartment stood a young girl, with red hair and a lame leg. She was trembling with emotion. " Louise !" "The King!" "Ah, my God ? mademoiselle." "Ah, my God, sire. 95 But a low knock at the door interrupted the lovers. The King uttered a cry of rage ; Louise one of despair. The door opened and D'Artagnan entered. " Good evening, sire," said the musketeer. The King touched a bell. Porthos appeared in the doorway. " Good evening, sire." THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. 75 " Arrest M. D'Artagnan." Porthos looked at D'Artagnan, and did not move. The King almost turned purple with rage. He again touched the bell. Athos entered. " Count, arrest Porthos and D'Artagnan." The Count de la Fere glanced at Porthos and D'Artagnan, and smiled sweetly. " Sacre ! Where is Aramis?" said the King, violently. " Here, sire," and Aramis entered. " Arrest Athos, Porthos, and D'Artagnan." Aramis bowed, and folded his arms. "Arrest yourself!" Aramis did not move. The King shuddered and turned pale. " Am I not King of France ?" "Assuredly, sire, but we are also severally Porthos, Aramis, D'Artagnan, and Athos." " Ah !" said the King. "Yes, sire." " What does this mean r" "It means, your majesty," said Aramis, 76 THE NINETY-NINE GUARDSMEN. stepping forward, "that your conduct as a married man is highly improper. I am an Abbe, and I object to these improprieties. My friends here, D'Artagnan, Athos, and Porthos, pure-minded young men, are also ter ribly shocked. Observe, sire, how they blush !" Athos, Porthos, and D'Artagnan blushed. " Ah," said the King, thoughtfully. " You teach me a lesson. You are devoted and noble young gentlemen, but your only weakness is your excessive modesty. From this moment I make you all Marshals and Dukes, with the exception of Aramis." " And me, sire ?" said Aramis. "You shall be an Archbishop!" The four friends looked up and then rushed into each other's arms. The King embraced Louise de la Valliere, by way of keeping them company. A pause ensued. At last Athos spoke : " Swear, my children, that next to your selves, you will respect the King of France ; and remember that ' Forty years after' we will meet again." MUCK-A-MUCK. A MODERN INDIAN NOVEL, AFTER COOPER* CHAPTER I. IT was toward the close of a bright October day. The last rays of the setting sun were reflected from one of those sylvan lakes pecu liar to the Sierras of California. On the right the curling smoke of an Indian village rose between the columns of the lofty pines, while to the left the log cottage of Judge Tompkins, embowered in buckeyes, completed the en chanting picture. 7 8 . MUCK- A MUCK. Although the exterior of the cottage was humble and unpretentious, and in keeping with the wildness of the landscape, its interior gave evidence of the cultivation and refinement of its inmates. An aquarium, containing gold fishes, stood on a marble centre table at one end of the apartment, while a magnificent grand piano occupied the other. The floor was covered with a yielding tapestry carpet, and the walls were adorned with paintings from the pencils of Van Dyke, Rubens, Tinto retto, Michael Angelo, and the productions of the more modern Turner, Kensett, Church and Bierstadt. Although Judge Tompkins had chosen the frontiers of civilisation as his home, it was impossible for him to entirely forego the habits and tastes of his former life. He was seated in a luxurious arm-chair, writing at a mahogany ecritoire, while his daughter, a lovely young girl of seventeen summers, plied her crochet needle on an ottoman beside him. A bright fire of pine logs flickered and flamed on the ample hearth. MUCK- A MUCK. 79 Genevra Octavia Tompkins was Judge Tompkins's only child. Her mother had long since died on the Plains. Reared in affluence, no pains had been spared with the daughter's education. She was a graduate of one of the principal seminaries, and spoke French with a perfect Benicia accent. Peerlessly beautiful, she was dressed in a white moire antique robe trimmed with tulle. That simple rosebud, with which most heroines exclusively decorate their hair, was all she wore in her raven locks. The Judge was the first to break the silence : " Genevra, the logs which compose yonder fire seem to have been incautiously chosen. The sibilation produced by the sap, which exudes copiously therefrom, is not conducive to composition." "True, father, but I thought it would be preferable to the constant crepitation which is apt to attend the combustion of more seasoned ligneous fragments." The Judge looked admiringly at the intel- 8o MUCK-A-MUCK. lectual features of the graceful girl, and half forgot the slight annoyances of the green wood in the musical accents of his daughter. He was smoothing her hair tenderly, when the shadow of a tall figure, which suddenly darkened the doorway, caused him to look up. MUCK-A-MUCK. Si CHAPTER II. IT needed but a glance at the new comer to detect at once the form and features of the haughty aborigine the untaught and untram melled son of the forest. Over one shoulder a blanket, negligently but gracefully thrown, disclosed a bare and powerful breast, decorated with a quantity of three cent postage stamps which he had despoiled from an Overland Mail stage a few weeks previous. A cast-off beaver of Judge Tompkins's, adorned by a simple feather, covered his erect head, from beneath which his straight locks descended. His right hand hung lightly by his side, while his left was engaged in holding on a pair of pantaloons, which the lawless grace and freedom of his lower limbs evidently could not brook. "Why," said the Indian, in a low sweet tone, " why does the Pale Face still follow the track of the Red Man ? Why does he pursue him, even as 0-kee-chow, the wild cat, chases 82 MUCK-A-MUCK. Ka-ka, the skunk? Why are the feet of Sorrel-top^ the white chief, among the acorns of Muck-a-Muck) the mountain forest ? Why," he repeated, quietly but firmly, abstracting a silver spoon from the table, " why Jo you seek to drive him from the wigwams of his fathers ? His brothers are already gone to the happy hunting grounds. Will the Pale Face seek him there ?" And, averting his face from the Judge, he hastily slipped a silver cake-basket beneath his blanket, to conceal his emotion. " Muck-a-Muck has spoken," said Genevra softly. " Let him now listen. Are the acorns of the mountain sweeter than the esculent and nutritious bean of the Pale Face miner ? Does my brother prize the edible qualities of the snail above that of the crisp and oleaginous bacon? Delicious are the grasshoppers that sport on the hillside are they better than the dried apples of the Pale Faces ? Pleasant is the gurgle of the torrent, Kish-Kisb, but is it better than the cluck-cluck of Bourbon brandy from the old stone bottle ?" MUCK-A-MUCK. 83 "Ugh!" said the Indian, "Ugh! good. The White Rabbit is wise. Her words fall as the snow on Tootoonolo, and the rocky heart of Muck-a-Muck is hidden. What says my brother the Gray Gopher of Dutch Flat ?" " She has spoken, Muck-a-Muck," said the Judge, gazing fondly on his daughter. "It is well. Our treaty is concluded. No, thank you you need not dance the dance of Snow Shoes, or the Moccasin Dance, the Dance of Green Corn, or the Treaty Dance. I would be alone. A strange sadness overpowers me." " I go," said the Indian. " Tell your great chief in Washington, the Sachem Andy, that the Red Man is retiring before the footsteps of the adventurous Pioneer. Inform him, if you please, that westward the star of empire takes its way, that the chiefs of the Pi-Ute nation are for Reconstruction to a man, and that Klamath will poll a heavy Republican vote in the fall." And folding his blanket more tightly around him, Muck-a-Muck withdrew. M UCK-A-M UCK. CHAPTER III. GENEVRA TOMPKINS stood at the door of the log cabin, looking after the retreating Overland Mail stage which conveyed her father to Virginia City. "He may never return again," sighed the young girl as she glanced at the frightfully rolling vehicle and wildly careering horses " at least, with unbroken bones. Should he meet with an accident ! I mind me now a fearful legend, familiar to my childhood. Can it be that the drivers on this line are privately instructed to despatch all passengers maimed by accident, to prevent tedious litigation? No, no. But why this weight upon my heart ?" She seated herself at the piano and lightly passed her hand over the keys. Then, in a clear mezzo-soprano voice, she sang the first verse of one of the popular Irish ballads : MUCK-A-MUCK. "O Arrah) ma dheellsh, the distant Lies soft in the moonlight, ma louchal vourncen f The springing gossoons on the heather are still, And the caubeens and colleens are heard on the hills." But as the ravishing notes of her sweet voice died upon the air, her hand sank listlessly to her side. Music could not chase away the mysterious shadow from her heart. Again she rose. Putting on a white crape bonnet, and carefully drawing a pair of lemon- coloured gloves over her taper fingers, she seized her parasol and plunged into the depths of the pine forest. 86 MUCK-A.MUCK. CHAPTER IV. GENEVRA had not proceeded many miles before a weariness seized upon her fragile limbs, and she would fain seat herself upon the trunk of a prostrate pine, which she pre viously dusted with her handkerchief. The sun was just sinking below the horizon, and the scene was one of gorgeous and sylvan beauty. "How beautiful is Nature," mur mured the innocent girl, as, reclining gracefully against the root of the tree, she gathered up her skirts and tied her handkerchief around her throat. But a low growl interrupted her meditation. Starting to her feet, her eyes met a sight which froze her blood with terror. The only outlet to the forest was the narrow path, barely wide enough for a single person, hemmed in by trees and rocks, which she had just traversed. Down this path, in Indian file, came a monstrous grizzly, closely followed by a California lion, a wild cat, and a buffalo, the rear being brought up by a wild Spanish bull. The mouths of the three first animals were distended with frightful signifi cance ; the horns of the last were lowered as ominously. As Genevra was preparing to faint, she heard a low voice behind her. " Eternally dog-gone* my skin ef this ain't the puttiest chance yet." At the same moment, a long, shining barrel dropped lightly from behind her, and rested over her shoulder. Genevra shuddered. "Dura ye don't move!" Genevra became motionless. The crack of a rifle rang through the woods. Three frightful yells were heard, and two sullen roars. Five animals bounded into the air and five lifeless bodies lay upon the plain. The well-aimed bullet had done its work. Entering * A euphemism common with the men of the West, and equal to the English " Od rat it," or " Gol darn." 88 MUCK-A.MUCK. the open throat of the grizzly, it had traversed his body, only to enter the throat of the Cali fornia lion, and in like manner the catamount, until it passed through into the respective fore heads of the bull and the buffalo, and finally fell flattened from the rocky hillside. Genevra turned quickly. " My preserver !" she shrieked, and fell into the arms of Natty Bumpo the celebrated Pike Ranger of Donner Lake. MUCK-A-MUCK. 89 CHAPTER V. THE moon rose cheerfully above Dormer Lake. On its placid bosom a dug-out canoe glided rapidly, containing Natty Bumpo and Genevra Tompkins. Both were silent. The same thought pos sessed each, and perhaps there was sweet com panionship even in the unbroken quiet. Genevra bit the handle of her parasol and blushed. Natty Bumpo took a fresh chew of tobacco. At length Genevra said, as if in half-spoken reverie : "The soft shining of the moon and the peaceful ripple of the waves seem to say to us various things of an instructive and moral tendency." " You may bet yer pile* on that, Miss," said * /. POPULAR STORIES." New Book of Bslightful Tales. " Family Fairy Tales;" or, Glimpses of Elfland at Heatherston Hall." Edited by CHOLMON- DELEY PENNELL, Author of " Puck on Pegasus," &c., adorned with beautiful pictures of "My Lord Lion," "King Uggermugger," and other great folks. Handsomely printed on toned paper, in cloth, green and gold, price 43. 6d. plain, 53. 6d. coloured. *** This charming volume has been universally praised by the critical press. The Rosicrucians ; their Rites and Mysteries. 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A Companion to the " HISTORY OP SIGNBOARDS." With many very amusing Anecdotes and Examples of Successful Advertisers. By MESSRS. LARWOOD and HOTTEN. [In preparation. Signboards : their History. With Anecdotes of Famous Taverns and remarkable Characters. By JASOB LARWOOD and JOHN CAMDEN HOTTEN. " A book which will delight all." Spectator. Thia day, Fourth Edition, pages 580, price 73. 6d. only. Time*.* "It U not fair o the part of a re viewer to pick out the plums of an author'* book, thus filching away hi* cream, and leaving little but skim-milk remaining; but, even If we were ever so maliciouilTincliuecl, from the Timst* we could not in the present instance pick out all Messrs. Larwocd and Hot- ten ' plums, because the good things ar BO numerous as to defy the most whole sale depredation." Review of thrtf BULL AND MOUTH. CAngel St. St Martin'o-le-Grsnd, c *#* Nearly 100 most cnnous illustrations on wood are given, showing the various old signs which were formerly hung from taverns and other houses. The frontispiece represents the famous sign of "The Man loaded with Mischief," in the colours of the original painting said to have been executed by Hogarth. Hotice. " Large-paper Edition," with Seventy-Two extra Illustrations (not given in the small edition), showing Old London in the days when Signboards hung from almost every house. In 4to, half -morocco neat, 303. ** Only a imall number printed on extra fine paper with wide margins for the lover of fln* book*, The Parks of London. Their History and Asso ciations from the Earliest Times. By JACOB LARWOOD. WITH ILLUS TRATIONS BY THE AUTHOR. [In the Press. AN EXTEAORDINAEY BOOK. Hotten's Edition of " Contes Drolatiqnes " (Droll Tales collected from the Abbeys of Loraine). Par BALZAC. With Four Hundred and Twenty-five M&rvellous, Extravagant, and Fan tastic Woodcuts by GUSTAVE Do RE. Beautifully printed, thick 8vo, half morocco, Roxburghe, izs. 6d. *** The most singular designs ever attempted by any artist. This book is a fond of amusement. So crammed is it with pictures that even the contents are adorned with thirty-three Ulustrati Direct application must be made to Mr. Hottenfor this work. John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly t W. VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS, i -i ' i .. . .- Sets of "Punch," 18^-11860. Hr. Gotten has purchased from the Messrs. Virtue and Co. their ENTIRE REMAINDER of this important set of books, which contains, among its 12,000 Illus trations and Contributions from tho most noted Wits of the time, the WHOLE OF LEECH'S SKETCHES, 4 vols. ; LEECH'S PENCILLINGS, z vols.; TEN-KIEL'S CARTOONS -, DOYLE'S MB. PIPS HYS DIARY ; MANNERS AND CUSTOMS OF THE ENGLISH ; BBOWN, JONES, AND EOBINSON ; Punch's Almanacks, i vol.; Thackeray's Miscellanies, 4 vols.; The Caudle Lectures ; Story of a Feather ; &c., &c. 39 half-yearly vols. bound in 20 vols., cloth gilt, gilt edges, published at 16 IDS., to be obtained of Mr. Hotten for 6 xos. ONLY. The Standard Work on Diamonds and Precious Stones; their History, Value, and Properties, with Simple Tests for Ascer taining their Reality. By HARRY EHANUEL, F.lt.G.S. With nume rous Illustrations, tinted and plain. New Edition, Prices brought down to Present Time, full gilt, 123. 6d. 44 Will be acceptable to many renders." Timtt. * An Invaluable work for buyers and sellers." Spectator. See the Time*' Review of three column* * # * TJiis new edition is greatly superior to the- previous one. It gives tlie latest market value for Diamonds and Precious Stones of every size. Tho Young Botanist : A Popular Guide to Elementary Botany. By T. S. RALPH, of the Linnssan Society. In i vol., with 300 Drawings from Nature, zs. 6d. plain, 43. 6d. coloured by hand. ** An excellent boo* for the you"s beginner. The objects selected as illustrations are either easy of access s specimens of wild plant*, or are common in gardens. Winter's Modern Confectioner. Tlie Best Book on Confectionery and Desserts. An Entirely New Edition of this Standard Work on the Preparation of Confectionery and the Arrange ment of Desserts. Adapted for private families or large establish ments. By WILLIAM JEANES, Chief Confectioner at Messrs. Gutter's (Confectioners to Her Majesty), Berkeley-square. With Plates, post 8vo, cloth, 6s. 6d. 41 All housekeeper! should have It" Daily Telegraph. *#* This work has won for itself the reputation of leing the Standard English Boole on the preparation of all kinds of Confectionery, and on the arrangement cf Desserts. John Camden Hoiten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS: NEW BOOK BY THE "ENGLISH GUSTAVE DOKE." COMPANION TO THE " HATCHET-THEOWEKS." Legends of Savage Life. By James Greenwood, the famous Author of " A Night in a Workhouse." With 36 inimitably droll illustrations, drawn and coloured by ERNEST GRISET, the " English Gustave Dore." 4to, coloured, 73. 6d. ; plain, 53. *** Readers who found amusement in the " Hatchet-Throwers " will not regret any acquaintance they may form with this comical work. The pictures are among the most surprising which have come from this artist's pencil. "A Munchausen sort of book. The drawings by II. Griset are very powerful and eccentric." Saturday Review. School Life at Winchester College; or, the Remi niscences of a Winchester Junior. By the Author of "The Log of the Water Lily," and '-'The Water Lily on the Danube." Second edition, revised, coloured plates, 75. 6d. *** This book does for Winchester what " Toin Brown's School Days " did for Rugby. Log of the "Water Lily" (Thames Gig), during Two Cruises in the Summers of 1851-52, on the Ehine, Neckar, Main, Moselle, Danube, and other Streams of Germany. By E. B. MANS FIELD, B.A., of University College, Oxford, and illustrated by ALFRED THOMPSON, B.A., of Trinity College, Cambridge. [In preparation. *** This was the earliest boat excursion of the kind ever made on the Continental rivers. Very recently the subject has been revived again in the exploits of Mr. MacGregor in his " Rob Roy Canoe. ' The volume will be found most interesting to those who propose taking a similar trip,, whether on the Continent or elsewhere. The Hatchet-Throwers. With Thirty-six Illustra tions, coloured after the Inimitably Grotesque Drawings of ERNEST GRISET, the English Gustave Dore. 4to, cloth gilt, 73. 6d. j plates, uncoloured, 53. *** Comprises the astonishing adventures of Three Ancient Mariners, the Brothers Brass of Bristol, Mr. Corker, and Mungo Midge. Melchior Gorles. By Henry Aitchenbie. 3 vols. 8vo, i us. 6d. *** The New Novel, illustrative of " Mesmeric Influence," or whatever else we may choose to term that strange power which some persons exercise over others. John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOK*. Original Edition of Blake's Works. NOTICE. Mr. Hotten has in preparation a few facsimile copies (exact as to paper, printing the water-colour drawings being filled in by an artist) of the ORIGINAL EDITIONS of the Books written and Illustrated by WILLIAM BLAKE. As it is only intended to produce with utmost care a few examples of each work, Mr. Hotten will be glad to hear from \iy gentleman who may desire to secure copies of these wonderful books. he first volume, " MARRIAGE OF HEAVEN AND HELL," 4to, is now being sued, price 303., half morocco. "Blake is a real name, I assure you, and a most eitraordinary man he is, if he still be living. He is the Blake whose wild designs accompany a splendid edition of 'Blair's Grave.' He paints in toater-c.olours marvellous strange pictures visions of his brain which he asserts he has seen. Thei, hive great merit. I must look upon him as one of the most extraordinary persons of the age." CHAELES LAMB. George Chapman's Plays, from the Original Texts. Edited, with Notes and an Introduction, by ALGERNON CHARLES SWINBURNE. 4 vols., tastefully printed, uniform with Wm. Pickering's Editions of the " Old Dramatists." [In preparation. UNIFORM WITH MR. SWINBURNE'S POEMS. Fcap. 8vo, 450 meres. Fine Portrait and Autograph, ys. 6d. Walt Whitman's Poems. (I*eaves of Grass, Drum- Taps, &c.) Selected and Edited Jay WILLIAM MICHAKT, ROSSETTI. " Whitman is a poet who bears and needs to be read as a whole, and then the volume and tor*nt of his power carry the disfigurements along with it and awayHe is really a fine fellow." Chambers'! Journal, in a very long Notice, July 4th, 1863. A great deal of prejudice in this country has been shown against this very remarkable author. His work should be read by independent minds, and an opinion formed totally apart from the attacks that have ' im. 3&ossetti's Criticisms on Swinburne's Poems. Price 33. 6d. The Prometheus Bound of JEschylus. Translated in the Original Metres by C. B. CAYLEY, B.A. Cloth, price 33. 6d. SECOND EDITION. Now ready, 4to, 103. 6d., on toned paper, very elegant. Bianca. Poems and Ballads. By Edward Brennan. 1 8 John Camden Hotten. 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W, VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS. Fair Rosamond, and other Poems. By B. Mont- GOMERIE RANKING (of the Inner Temple). Fcap. 8vo, price 6s. Strawberry Hill, and other Poems. By Colburn MAYNE, Esq. In strawberry binding, fcap. 8vo, ?s. 6d. " It is a bright, clever little book, in which we find a great deal of pood rhyme, and some genuine and pleasing poetry. There are several charming pictures of the historic group, which we know i'roru Horace Walpole's letters and Sir Joshua's paintings." Morning Star. Infelicia. Poems by Adah Isaacs Menken. Illus trated with NUMEROUS GRACEFULLY PENCILLED DESIGNS DRAWN ON WOOD, BY ALFRED CONCANEN. Dedicated, by permission, to CHARLES DICKENS, with photographic facsimile of his letter, and a very beau tifully engraved portrait of the Authoress. In green and gold, 53. 6d. " A pathetic little olume exquisitely got up." Sun. "It is full of pathos and senti ment, displays a keen appreciation of beauty, and has re markable earnest ness and passion." Globe. "A loving and delicate care has been bestowed on perhaps the dain tiest pages of verse that have been issued for many years." Lloyd't News. " Few, if any, could have guessed the power and beauty of the thoughts that pos sessed her soul, and found expression in language at once pure and melodious. .... Who shall ay Menken was not " An amusing little book, unhap legacy to mankind and the ages." y posthumous, which turday Rtview. distingui a poet 1 Through out her verse there runs a golden thread of rich and pure poetry." Press. " There is a pas- si on ate richness about manv of tho poems which is al most startling." Sunday Times. "What can we say of this gifted and wayward woman, the exist ence of whose better nature will be sug gested for the first time to many by the posthumous disclo sure of this book? We do not envy the man who, reading it, has only a sneer for its writer ; nor the woman who finds it in her heart to turn away with averted face." New York Round Table. woman has left as a Anacreon in English. Attempted in the Metres of the Original. By THOMAS J. ARNOLD. A choice little volume, price 43. The Village on the Forth, and other Poems, r By PHILIP LATIMER. Just published, elegantly printed, price 33. 6d. Baudelaire. Translations from Chas. Baudelaire, with a few Original Poems. By R. HERNE SHEPHERD. Fcap., same size as Tennyson's "Maud," price 53. John Camde.n Hottcn, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS. - ME. SWINBUBNE'S NEW BOOK. * # * "A wonderful literary performance.* 1 "Splendour of jtyle and majestic beauty of diction never surpassed." WILLIAM BLAKE: A CCITICAL ESSAY. With facsimile Paintings, coloured by hand, from the original drawings painted by Blake and his wife. Thick Svo, pp. 350, i6s. with a sense of vitality." Daily News, Feb. 12, 1868. "It ia in every way worthy of Mr. Swinburne's high fame. In no prose work can be found passages of keener poetry or more finished grace, or more impressive *' An extraordi nary work : vio lent, extravagant, perverse, calcu lated to startle, to shock, and to alarm many readers, but ab o un ding in beauty, and cha- , racterised by intel- "' lectual grasp. . . His is power of word painting is often truly won derfulsometimes, it_ must be ad mitted, in excess, but always full of matter, form, and colour, and instinct harmony. Strong, vigorous, and musical, the style sweeps on like a river." Sunday Times, Jan. iz, 1868. Mr. Swinburne's New Poem. A Song of Italy. Fcap. Svo, toned paper, cloth, price 33. 6d. *** The Ath'.n&um remarks of this poem " Seldom has such a chant been heard so full of glow, Strength, and colour." Mr. Swinb'tirne's Poems and Ballads. Third Edition. Price 93. Mr. Swinburne's Notes on his Poems, and. on the Keviews which have appeared upon them, is now ready, price is. Mr. Swinburne's Atalanta in Calydon. New Edition, fcap. 8vo, price 63. Mr. Swinburne's Chastelard. A Tragedy. New Edition. Price 73. lEr. Swinburne's Queen Mother and Hcsaniond. New Edition, fcap. 8vo, price 53. Mr. Swinburne's EotliweU. A NEW POEM. [In preparation. John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, FV/vnWity, W. VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS Best Guide to Heading Old MSS., Records, &c.~- "Wright's Court Hand Restored; or, Student's Assistant in Beading Old Deeds, Charters, Records, &c." Half morocco, 103. 6d. jj* A New Edition, corrected, of AN INVALUABLE WORK TO ALL WHO HAVE OCCASION TO CONSULT OLD MSS., DsEDS, CHARTERS, fyc. It contains a series of Facsimiles of old MSS, from the time of the Conqueror, Tables of Contractions and Abbreviations, Ancient Surnames, $fc. Handbook of Family History of tho English Counties : Descriptive Account of 10,000 most Curious and Rare Books, Old Tracts, Ancient Manuscripts, Engravings, and Privately -printed Family Papers, relating to the History of almost every Landed Estate and Old English Family in the Country; interspersed with nearly Two Thousand Original Anecdotes, Topographical ana Antiquarian Notes. By JOHN CAMDKX HOTTEN. Nearly 350 pages, very neat, price 53. ** By fur the largest collection of English and Welsh Topography and Family History evei formed. Each article has a. small price affixed for the convenience of those who may deiire to i any book or tract that interests them. Higgins' (Godfrey) Celtic Druids ; or, an attempt to show that the Druids were the Priests of Oriental Colonies, the introducers of the first or Cadmean System of Letters, the Builders of Stonehenge, of Carnac, and other Cyclopean Works in Asia antl Europe. 4to, numerous plates of Druid monuments, rare, 323. *,* Tho most philosophical dig-est of the existing information upon the origin of Worship. Copies have been sold for 7. At the above price the book is ridiculously cheap, com pared with the sums of money that have been paid for it very recently. Large paper copy, boavdi, 158., vtry scarce. DIRECT APPLICATION must be made to procure at these reduced prices. Ssholt in Airedale, Yorkshire : the Cistercian Priory of St. Leonard, Account of, with View of Esholt HalL Small 4to, is. 6d. London Birectory for 1667, the Earliest Known List of the London Merchants, izmo, very choicely printed; price 6s. 6d. See Review in the Times, Jan. ^^. *** This curious little volume has been reprinted verbatim from one of the only two copies known to be in existence. It contains an Introduction pointing out some of the principal persons mentioned For historical and genealogical purposes the little boolsis of the greatest value. EXACT FACSIMILE, LETTER FOR LETTER, OF THE EXCES- SIVELY RARE ORIGINAL, Much Adoe about Nothing. As it hath been sundrie times publikely acted by the Right Honourable the Lord Charnberlaine his seruants. Written by WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, 1600. *** Small quarto, on fine toned paper, half -bound morocco, Roxburgae style, only 43. 6d. (Original price, xos. 6d.) John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS. Beauties of the English Language. Revived and Eevivable in England and America. An Appeal to Authors, Poets, Clergymen, and Public Speakers. By CHARLES MACKAY, LL.D. In crown 8vo, uniform with the " Slang Dictionary," price 6s. 6d. [In preparation. Captain Grose's Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongne, 1785. A genuine unmutilated Reprint of the First Edition, price 6s. *** Only a small number of copies of this very vulgar, but very curious, book have been printed for the Collectors of " Street "Words" and Colloquialisms, on fine toned paper, half-bound morocco, gilt top. Slang Dictionary; or, the Vulgar Words, Street PHRASES, and " FAST" EXPRESSIONS OF HIGH AND Low SOCIETY ; many with their Etymology, and a few with their History traced. WITH CURIOUS ILLUSTRATIONS. A New Dictionary of Colloquial English. Pp. 328, in 8vo, price 6s. 6d., by post, 73. Bee Two UPON TEBT, in the Dictionary, p. 2G-1. trunk, tho'wing the ampv* tation qf a man's leg. See under BHBAKT LEO (vis. Strong Drink) in tta Diction ary, p. 81. One hundred and forty newspapers in this coimtry alone have reviewed with approbation this Dictionary of Colloquial English. " It may be doubted if there exists a more amusing volume in the English language." SPECTATOR. " Valuable as a work 'of reference" SATURDAY REVIEW. " All classes of society will find amusement and instruction in its pages." TIMES. Original Edition of the Famous Joe Miller's Jests ; or, the Wit's Vade-Mecum ; a Collection of the most brilliant Jests, politest Eepartees, most elegant Bons-Mots, and most pleasant short Stories in the English Language. London : printed by T. Eead, 1739. An interesting specimen of remarkable facsimile, 8vo, half morocco, price 93. 6d. *** ONLY A VERT FEW COPIES OF THIS HUMOROUS AND RACY OLD BOOK HAVE BEEN REPRODUCED. John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS. In preparation, an entirely New Book by the late Artemns Ward. Edited by bis executors, T. W. Robertson and E. P. Kingston. Illustrated with 35 pictures, taken from his world-renowned Panorama. Immediately, cloth, very neat, 23. 6d. The "Works of Charles F. Browne, better known as "AETEMUS WARD." Portrait by Geflowski, the Sculptor, and fac similes, &c. History of Playing Cards. With Anecdotes, Ancieu and Modern Games, Conjuring, Fortune-Telling, and Card-Sharpin With Sixty curious illustrations. Skill and Sleigliti-of -Hand j Gamblir and Calculation ; Cartomancy and Cheating ; Old Games and Gaming* Houses; Card Revels and Blind Hookey; Piquet and Vingt-et-un; Whist and Cribbage ; Old-Fashioned Tricks. Pp. 550, price 73. 6d. A highly-interesting volume." Morning Pott. Craikshank's Comic Almanack. A complete set, as published in the original numbers from 1835 to 1853. 19 vols., neatly bound in 5 vols., half -morocco, Roxburgh style, 3 3s. Containing MERRY TALES, JESTS, HUMOROUS POETRY, WHIMS, ODDITIES, &c., by THACKERAY, THOMAS HOOD, ALBERT SMITH, and other well-known comic writers. Illustrated with nearly ONE THOUSAND WOODCUTS AND STEEL ENGRAVINGS by the inimitable GEOEGE CRUIKSHANK and othc* Artists. Very scarce. ULr. Sprouts his Opinions. The How and Genuine Book of Humour. Uniform with "Artemus Ward." By RICHARD WHITEING. New Stilling Edition now ready. John Camden HoUen, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. Hotten's 'Golden Library" OF THE BEST AUTHORS. * # * A charming collection of Standard ff Favourite Works, ek %antly printed in Handy Volumes, uniform with the Tauchnitz Series C5 5 published at exceedingly low prices. HJir The New Volumes are HOLMES -- AUTOCRAT OF THE BREAKFAST TABLE, is. In cloth, is. 6d. THE CLERGY THE BOOK OF CLERICAL ANEC DOTES, and Pulpit Eccentricities, is. 4d. li cloth, is. rod. CHAS. LAMB THE ESSArs OF ELI A. Complete Both Evies. is. In cloth, is. 6d. DICKERS' SPEECHES UPON LITERARY JNl SOCIAL TOPICS, as. "Kis Speeches are as good as any of his priiited writings." The Times. A, WARD I N LONDON, with the "PUNCH' LETTERS, is. 6d. In cloth, as. TENNYSON OLD PROSE STORIES OF IDYLL, OF THE KING. is. In cloth, is. 6d. DISRAELI, GLADSTONE, AND BRIGHT'S SPEECHES are issued in separate vols., at is. 4d. Cloth, is. lod They comprise all the important speeches of these great statesmen during the past 25 years. CARLYLE ON THE CHOICE OF BOOKS, is In cloth, is. 6d. Should be read and re-read by every young man in the three kingdoms. HOLMES -PROFESSOR AT THE BREAKFAS1 TABLE, is. In cloth, is. 6d. A companion volume to " The Autocrat of the Breakfast Table." LEIGH HUNT TALE FOR A CHIMNET CORNER AND OTHER ESSA YS. is. 4 d. Cloth, is. iotf A volume of delightful papers, humorous and pathetic. WHIMS AND ODDITIES. 80 Illus trations. 2 Series, Complete, is. Cloth, is. K The best cf all books of humour." PROFESSOR WILSON. LELAND HANS BREITMANN'S BALLADS COMPLETE, is. In cloth, is. 6d. HAWTHORNE -NOTE BOOKS. English and American is. In cloth, is. 6d. * John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W f " Anecdotes seem to have poured in upon the author from all quarters. Turn where we will through these 370 pleasant pages, something worth reading is sure to meet the eye." The Standard. This day, price *js. 6d. t with numerous Portraits and Illustrations, 370^. CHARLES DICKENS at ps BY THE AUTHOR OF " THE LIFE OF THACKERAY " BLEAK HOL'SE, AT BROAUSTAIKS WITH ILLUSTRATIONS AND FACSIMILES. John Camdtn Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. ft* VERY IMPORTANT NEW BOOKS. Mark Twain's New Pilgrim's Progress. A delight fully fresh and amusing Volume of Travel. Companion to the popular "INNOCENTS ABROAD." 33. 6d. ; paper, is. *** Readers who approved of this Author's quaint story of " The Jumping Frog," will be very well satisfied with the "New Pilgrim's Progress :" there has been no work like it issued here for years. Mark Twain's Innocents Abroad. THE VOYAGE OUT. Price 33. 6d. cloth extia ; a paper edition, is. %* A delightful, fresh, and amusing volume of travels. Readers who appre ciate true wit and humour will be well satisfied with " The Innocents Abroad." The Luck of Roaring Camp, and other Stories. By BRET HARTE. Crown 8vo, toned paper, 39. 6d. ; a paper edition, is. *** The Work of a new candidate to literary honour. The Publisher of a book is not perhaps always the most unbiassed person to give an opinion about it ; but in the present instance the writer has no hesitation in saying that English readers will be charmed with these inimitable stories of strange life in the Far West away on the Pacific slope. The fun, the very humour of the thing, has a May freshness about it, which smacks not of the Old World. Champagne : its History, Manufacture, Properties, &c. By CHARLES TOVEY, Author of " Wine and Wine Countries," " British and Foreign Spirits," &c. Crown 8vo, with numerous illus trations, 59. *** A practical work, by one of the largest champagne merchants in London. Acrostics. An Entirely New and Original Work, constituting the FIFTH SERIES of the popular A. E. H. Acrostics. 12010, cloth elegant, 49. 6d. V The authoress is a lady of high position in the North of England, and her books are very popular amongst the best Families in the country. John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. 9 'His capital speeches. Every one of them reads like a page of ' Pickwick.' " The Critic. This day, price Is. 6d., 'with fine Portrait by Count D'Orsay, 370 pp. SPEECHES LITERARY AND SOCIAL. BY CHARLES DICKENS. NOW FIRST COLLECTED. xVITH CHAPTERS ON "CHARLES DICKENS AS A LETTER WRITER, POET, AND PUBLIC READER." John Camden Hotten, 74 and 75, Piccadilly, W. : trl