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COMIC POEMS 
 
 OF THE YEARS 
 
 1685, AND 1793 ; 
 
 OK 
 
 musftic Scenes! 
 
 IN 
 
 SCO T L^A N D, 
 
 AT THE TIMES 
 TO WHICH THEY REFER : 
 
 WITH 
 
 EXPLANATORY AND ILLUSTRATIVE 
 TsTOTES. 
 
 -B'.ately triumphs, mirthful comic shows. 
 
 Shakip. Hen. VI. 
 
 EDINBURGH : 
 
 TRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS. 
 ' IS17, 
 

LINTOUN GREEN, 
 
 OR THE 
 
 THIRD MARKET DAY of JUNE, 
 
 O. S., 
 1685. 
 
 ::^ l^oem* 
 
 IN NINE CANTOS. 
 
 ♦ * 1 i ■ J • ■ 
 
 Sagmatus Poixus. 
 
 Prop', iv. I, 23 
 
 EDINBURGH : , 
 
 PRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS, 
 1817. 
 
INTRODUCTION. 
 
 Tlie following rustic bustling Poem, 
 ill a similar structure of stanzas with 
 King James the First of Scotland's 
 * Christis Kirk of the Grene,' and ' Pe6- 
 ' lis to the Play^' is an Appendix to the 
 ironical ' Panegyrick upon the Ar- 
 my IN ScOTLANDj CONVENED BY RoYAL 
 
 Authority, in May 1685/ among the 
 ' Poems/ in the Works of Alexander 
 Pennecuik^ of Neiv-Hall^ Esq. M. D. ; 
 and, like many other appendices, occu- 
 pies a much greater space than the sub- 
 ject to which it is subjoined. 
 
 It is, consequently, in the same stile of 
 humour with the Panegyrick itself, to 
 which it refers, and with the verses of 
 King James ; though less crude, coarse, 
 tuneless, and indelicate, than even he 
 court-bred pictures of his Majesty, and, 
 as may be seen, in consequence oi the 
 
 !Vil5055i 
 
11 
 
 cliange in its time, place, and action, 
 without most of the real names and 
 portraits of its principal, now re-print- 
 ed, and here placed before it with some 
 explanatory notes. The Panegyrick, 
 however, owed to these real names, and 
 to its friendly connexion with the ever- 
 glorious Revolution, at the time it 
 was written, many of its contemporary 
 admirers, whose descendants still con- 
 tinue to repeat, with glee, such of the 
 personal appellations, and characteri- 
 sing lines, as they can accompany with 
 the illustrative descriptions and stories 
 handed down to them from those who 
 were then alive. 
 
 Edinburgh, 7 
 A.D. 1817. S 
 
9i ^anes^rtck 
 
 upon tf)c ropal arm? in letcotlaitti; 
 
 AND PARTICULARLY 
 UPON THE 
 
 TROOPS OF TWEEDDALE, 
 
 AND 
 
 FORREST GENTLEMEN 
 
 CONFINED BT ROYAL AUTHORITT^ 
 
 May 1685, UNDER COMMAND OF THE LAIRD Oj 
 
 DRUMELLEAR, 
 
 TO SUPPRESS WHAT JVAS THEN CALLEIX 
 
 REBELLION (1.) 
 
 The merry month of May was in her pride, 
 And loyalty seemed Scotland's lovely bride. 
 When bold Argyle, that lofty little man, 
 Through Neptune's regions with arm'd squadrons 
 
 ran; 
 Swift tyranny to stop, and with intent. 
 Usurping powers and Popery to prevent : 
 This he did judge his duty, not his crime, 
 Yet it was called High Treason at the time* 
 
 (i) From this, and several passages in the poem itself, Dr 
 Pennecuik seems to have written this satirical panegyrick, 
 since the Revolution ; probably about the same time with his 
 poetical * Jddress to the Prince of Orange,* and also in com- 
 pliment to him, and to the Whigs and Presbyterians, long af- 
 ter the unsuccessful invasions of Monmouth and Argyle, which 
 gave rise to it. 
 
-V A PANEGTRICK, 5^C. 
 
 *' Fy, cried the Courtiers, when did we see ever| 
 Religion and Kebellion lodge togetlier ; 
 And does Argyle with that despised crew, 
 Think with himself all Scotland to subdue." (2) 
 
 The Royal trumpets sound, the drums do beat, 
 And troops march through the country soon and 
 
 late, 
 
 The Gentry rise in arms, in splendid manner. 
 And thrust in throngs to brave Bellona's banner ; 
 Crying, mount, march, charge, spur quickly up 
 
 your avers, 
 And light like Scotsmen, under valiant Clavers, 
 Dumbarton brave commands our standing forces, 
 That stout and gallant train of foot and horses. (3) 
 
 Assist me. Muse, their worth for to rehearse. 
 Not in coarse trivial rhyme, but lofty verse. 
 Which I can never do, should I begin, 
 While Lachesis has any yarn to spin. 
 
 (2) Archibald CamjibeU, Farl'of Argyle^ on takin;^ the TesI 
 in 1681, enacted that year by the Scottish Parliament, whei 
 the Duke of York was Commissioner, subjoined an Explanation 
 ill consequerxe of which he was found guihy of High Treason 
 and condemned to death, lint escaped to Holland before the 
 sentence was executed, and remained there till the death oi 
 Charles the Second. In concert with the Luke of MoTimouth 
 Vr'ho claimed the Crown, in opposition to James the Second 
 and in support of religious and civil liberty, against Fopcrj 
 and arbitrary power, h^ returv^.ed to the west of Scodand ir 
 the month of May i685, as celebrated in tliis ironical panegy 
 rick on the Militia Troops raised to oppose him; descendec 
 irom Argyleshire to the lowlands; was taken prisoner, on thi 
 south side of the Clyde, be low Glasgow ; and, being carrie{ 
 to Edinburgh, was beheaded, upon his former sentence, ci 
 301 h June 1O85. 
 
 (3) • Clavers ;' Jc hn Graham o^ Cla'Oer house, afterward F/j 
 £oufit Bjmdee, who was killed fighting for James II., in th 
 Pass of Kiiiicrankie near Blair m Athol, on the 13th of Jun( 
 1689.— — • Dumbarton ;' Douglas, Eari of Dumbarton, Se 
 Sir Patrick Hume's account of Argyle*s Descent upon Scotlan( 
 in i68j, in Rose's OtHrvationj on the Historical Hoik of M. 
 
A PANEGYRIC, &LC. 
 
 All oFthcm proof 'gainst desperate alarms. 
 Train d up by old Dalyell in feats of arms ; 
 That daring veteran blade, yet meek when he 
 Is in cold blood, and from all passion free. (4) 
 Survey this little army, and you shall 
 Judge every officer a general ; 
 And scarce a private soldier you shall see. 
 But elsewhere might a great commander be. 
 What equal number in the world could rout. 
 The Douglas' royal regiment of foot ; 
 And those commanded by the Earl of Mar, 
 Are soQs of Mars, swift thunderbolts of war ; 
 As for our martial troopers and dragoons, 
 Their bravery's well approven by cracked crowns; 
 And for our lusty Hectoring grenadiers, 
 The devil he dare not fight them for his ears. 
 
 Drumellear chosen was for heart and hand, : 
 
 (4) General Thomas Dalziel of Bint/s, wVio was with Charles 
 the iecond at the battle of Worcester; after which he went 
 to Russia, and entered into the bcrvice of the Czaf. He re- 
 turned at the Restoration ; was made Commander in Chief ot 
 the forces in Scoflard, and defeated the Covenanters at Rul- 
 lion Green, on Pentland Hilis, whence reary ot them fled to 
 the glens southward, about the remarkaVde rock S. K, fronx 
 Nsw-Hall House, called the Harbour-Craig^ from the protection 
 it ^ave them. The site of the General s tent, marked by a 
 ring of gray whin stones, near the House of Muir scnihward, 
 frnm it, is still shown by the peasantry, who lepoi t him to 
 have been a ivartcck, oV w'T^rd. A stream from the field oi 
 battle, tha: enters rlic nonh side of the Eik, near Roslin, is 
 called the Kill-but ?i, and many wonderful instances of his 
 knowledge and skill in the biark art, have been inrented to 
 support the charge, and are still repeated in that quarter. — 
 His appearance was vtry singular ; for, he allowed his beard 
 to grow down to ills girdle ; he woie a beaver hat, the lirjni 
 of which was not above three inches broad; 2ud his dress al- 
 together was so eccentric that he i.ever appeared in public 
 without a crowd of boys afrer hir.i. He was in great favour 
 with Charles the Secovid ; anU seeir.s, from what is said of hini 
 in this poem, « in cold biood,' to have been of a gentle temper, 
 \and 10 have been aiive when it vvai writien, apparently sooa 
 [alter tiie Revt luu'on in 168'^. 
 
VI A PANEGYRIC, &:C; 
 
 The loyal Tweeddale blades for to command, (5) 
 As is his due, we rank him first in place. 
 For his rare charms of bod/, mind, and face. 
 Young Stenhop, our lieutenant, bravely can 
 Approve himself a stout and prudent man ; (e) 
 Whitsleid, our cornet, looks like much discre- 
 tion, 
 And values as his life his reputation. (7) 
 Our Quarter^Masfer has a gentle mien, 
 He's diligent, and to his pith he's keen. (8) 
 What shall I say of our three Brigadiers, 
 But tliat they are incapable of fears, 
 Of strength prodigious, and of looks so fro ward, 
 Thas every glowr they give would fright a coward. 
 To view but Hairhop's great red Roman nose. 
 Would flee a rebel's heart into his hose. 
 Strong are his bones : his looks they are so big. 
 That every word he speaks would kill a W/ifg, (9) 
 Kind Calins with his Cutlugs next appears. 
 The second of our warlike brigadiers : 
 His arms like Samson's, and with every leg 
 That might a rammer be to great Mons-Meg. (lO) 
 
 (5) Hay of Drummelzler. See for the names, Sec. of the 
 propietors, and other circumstances alluded to in the pcem. 
 Dr Pennecuik's Works, with notes. See also the curious Mus" 
 ter-RoU and fVeapon-Shoivingt from ihem, inserted htre alter 
 Lintoun Green » 
 
 (6) Sir David Murray of Stanhope, father to the Pretender's 
 Secretary, 
 
 (7) Dickson of Whitsleid, afterwards, it would appear, join- 
 ed to the Kilbucho estate, 
 
 (8) Perhaps, Tnveedie of Quarter. 
 
 (9) Broijun of Harehope. * A Whig ;* a Free Monarchist; 
 
 Calvinist, Covenanter, Presbyterian, Puritan, Sectary. See 
 note to Lintoun Green, p. 90, Canto ix. 
 
 (10) Baillie of Calens, formerly Cowthrople * He rode, 
 
 upon a cut lugged horse ;' (on the margin of the poem, in the 
 
 old edition of 1715 ) * Mons-Meg,* from Mons in Flanders, 
 
 whence it is named, is a very large ancient piece of ordnance, 
 not very long ago, transported from the Castle of Edinburgh 
 19 the Tower of London. It is of an enormous bore, and form- 
 
A PANEGYRIC, &C. Yii"' 
 
 Where can W3 fiad as:juire so strong and missy 
 As our old veteran soger Captain Cassie ? 
 Who dare break through whole troops without re- 
 morse, 
 Like fire and sword, wer't not his pissing horse. ( 1 1 ) 
 Stout Carl OPS strode a gallant milk-white 
 
 steed (12) 
 His neighbour 'Spital near, with pawky head .(1 3) 
 
 No cure nor comfort want we in its kind. 
 To give content to body or to mind ; 
 For Doctor Pennecuik is our Physician, 
 And Kickmileerie Fiddler 's our musician ; 
 The Doctor's courage none I think dare doubt, 
 'Tis known he sheds more blood than all the 
 troop. (14) 
 
 eel of pieces of iron, fitted together lengthways, and hooped 
 with iron rin.qcs; this being the plan of all the first pieces of 
 artillery, which, succeeding the battering engines of the an- 
 cients, were employed, like them, in throwing stones of a pro- 
 digious weight. Its figure, &c. may be seen in Grcse^s Mili- 
 tary Antiquities. 
 
 (11) Cassie of Kirkhouse, on the ^air, 
 
 (12) Burnet of Carlops. 
 
 (13) Oswald of Spittal. This and the preceding line, as be* 
 longi' g to the poem, were repeated by a descendant of Dr Pen* 
 necuiiv's son-in-law, Mr Oliphant of Lanton. 
 
 (14) On the ceiling of one ©f the rooms in New Hall House, 
 called Pexnecuik's Parlouh, is an oval picture, represent- 
 ing Carlops on his white horse, speaking back to Spital on a 
 black one near him ; Harehope, with his great red roman nose 
 on his off side ; Catens and his large legs; Captain Cassie seat- 
 ed on his straddling staling steed, on the foreground to the 
 left; and on the right, one of the troop, in a buff coat, who 
 had been thrown by his unruly nag, lying on his back insen- 
 sible, while Dr Pennecuik^ with his lancet, is making a jet 
 of blood stream from his arm, water is bringing to dash upon 
 his face, a priest is pr-^ying over his head, and old KickmaJee- 
 rie the icraper, seated on a bank above, while his eyes arc fixed 
 upon him, seems so much interested in his fate, as, in his an- 
 xiety for his recovery, to forget to apply the bow to his fiddle. 
 
^iii A PANEGYRIC, &cC. 
 
 Ske Spittlehaugh ne'er wants his bawdy jest ; 
 
 (15) . 
 And Cringilty looks just like back and breast, 
 
 (1*5) 
 
 PoWMOOD fires brisk, but his misfortune *s so. 
 He hurts our friend, and ah I he shoots too low ! 
 
 (n) 
 
 Cardrgna, and the Commissar^ are well hearted, 
 And, like true friends and brethren, seldom part- 
 ed ; - 
 With this design, betide them life or slaughter. 
 To match Cardrona's son with Robin's daugh- 
 ter. (18) 
 Cairnmuir kept still his bed, he was so wise. 
 Till either dirt or hunger made him rise. (l9) 
 When careful Captain Bltth commands the 
 
 watch, 
 None with* more courage, mettle, or dispatch, 
 Cries stand ! v/hose there ? for I'm a man of war, 
 So teji me whence you come, and what yon are. 
 Or by my parchment scrolls and bonds I swear, 
 I'll post this bullet through thy body clear. 
 He was a soldier regular and sober. 
 And so continued till the camp was over, 
 For full two months and more, yet was so wise. 
 His speech was never laid but once or twice. (20) 
 
 (15) Richard Murray of Spittlehaugh ; brothe? to Sir Ar- 
 chibald Murray of Black barony. 
 
 (16) John Murray of Cringletie. From the Scots Acts Cha, 
 JL Pari. I. c, 14. p. 167. h appears that in 1661, this place 
 br^longed to Mr IVilUam Burnet, in whose family it had pro- 
 bably long been, when acquired by this John Murray. 
 
 (17) Hunter of Polmood. 
 
 (18) Walter Williamson of Cardrona. 
 
 (19) irt-u/jo/i of Cairnmuir. 
 
 (20) David Pknderleith of Bljrth and Kallzie, Advocate, 
 who seems to have stood high in Dr Penr.ecuik's opinion —I 
 On the margin of the old impression, in 1715, is printed, with 
 a mark of reference, by Dr Pennecuickj ♦ La-.id Phndihdth: 
 
A PANEGYICR, &C. ix 
 
 Young KiNGSEAT was a Tory trooper then ; 
 Now Stobo stipend makes him Whig again. (21) 
 So frequently we see from cloak to gown. 
 Prelate, and Presbyter, turn upside down. 
 
 Our brethren of the Forest, these brave boys. 
 See I partners of our dangers, and our joys ! (22) 
 There's some I swear, of that brave generous 
 
 band. 
 Deserve a whole battalion to command : 
 Courageous Sintoun, in his front he bears 
 That neither man nor woman's flesh he fears. 
 And GiLMiNSCLEUGii for strength may bear the 
 
 crown, 
 Who wrestled with a horse and threw him down j 
 And yet to tell the truth, and never wrong them. 
 There's some bold rambling Shechemites among 
 
 them, 
 Who now and then dare to transgress their orders. 
 And run the round alongst the English borders, 
 Searching from hill to hole, fanatic lasses. 
 And press production of prohibit passes. 
 
 We neither want our fighters nor our flyters, (23) 
 
 (21) William Ezifsel of Kin;t??at, and Slipperfield, near 
 West Linroun, father to tl)e widow of that Mr Oswald of 
 Spittal, who placed the rejr.arkable marble Tovib-stone^ his 
 Hall-Table when alive, with its singular Epitaph^ over the 
 grave of her husband, in the Church.yard of Lintoun. where 
 it still remains. See the Fnripean MagwXiltie for May 1809; 
 and in Dr Pennecidk^s IVatks with NoteSy Of the Laket in 
 1'weeddale, Of the North Kik, and Of the Lyne, On the mar- 
 gin of the old edition iu 57 15, is printed, with a mark of re- 
 ference, • JMlliam RmseU now Minister of Stobo: 'A Tory;* 
 
 a friend to unlimited Monarchy, a Jacobite, an Episcopalian, 
 one secretly, or openly, a Papist. See note to Lintoun Green^ 
 p. 90, Canto ix. 
 
 (22) Of Sf:lkirk!.)iire, only Scot of Sinton, and Gilmins* 
 cleugh are mentioned. 
 
 (•^3) y^'^cn ; scolders* 
 
X A PANEGYRIC, &,C. 
 
 Wrights, merchants, drivers, commissars, nc 
 
 writers ; 
 
 Surgeons, nor farriers^ gardners, smiths, nor cooks 
 Few bibles, ah I but store of bawdy books ; 
 Rochester's Poems, Spittlehaugh did read. 
 With more delight than e'er he did his creed. 
 
 We had a tailor too, or two among us. 
 To cause a plague of fleas and lice upon us j 
 We had indeed a lazy life and idle, 
 Which made Drumellear read so much \h 
 Bible, 
 
 Many one vowed it did consist with reason, 
 ThatHAYSTON should be punished for treason ;(24 
 Who, at the hour of midnight, to our cost, 
 Baised a fray into the royal host ; 
 And loudly echoed thus through all the bounds, 
 ii Fy, Sirs ! — To horse, and arms ? — The trum. 
 pet sounds I" 
 
 Some, starting from their sleep, were sore af- 
 frighted. 
 Others had both their sense and eyes benighted : 
 Some muirland men, they say, were scumming 
 
 kirns, 
 And some were toasting bannocks at the birns : 
 Some on the grass lay muffled in their cloaks, 
 And some were tooming their tobacco box. 
 Some curs'd, some Mg'di for fear, and some did 
 
 worse. 
 Others for haste mounted their neighbour's horse; 
 Some in their boots were slumb'ring, some their 
 
 hose, 
 For none were troubled to put on their clothes : 
 
 (:4) Hay of Hayston. 
 
A PANEGYRIC, &LC, ^ 
 
 Some raise in haste from stools, and some from 
 
 chairs, 
 
 Not one of ten was raised from their prayers. 
 This man with that, in great confusion meets, 
 For no man tarried to spread up his sheets ; 
 And so amaz'd, with doubting fear and care. 
 Unto the Captain's standard all repair : 
 Where not a horse was there, hut could he 
 
 spoke. 
 
 He would have cursed Haysion for this mock ; 
 Some did allege his little brain was cracked, 
 ^ome call'd him hypochondriac, some distract- 
 ed; 
 
 Others, that were a little more discreet, 
 CalPd it a wand'ring fancy through his sleep. 
 The Doctor thought the reason of these bees, 
 Were vapours of sour-milk and mustie-cheese. 
 Which then into our camp were sov'reign fare, 
 A.I1 better entertainment being so rare. 
 
 But now, twice twenty days had quite expir'd. 
 When some had hectic purses, some were tired. 
 Some feared Argyle might rob them of their 
 
 livesj 
 And some thought wond'rous long to kiss their 
 
 wives. 
 
 Our noble Captain^ to prevent these fears 
 And curb the insolence of cnutineers. 
 Draws up his troop of heroes in a plain, 
 And thus he speaks his mind, in martial strain : 
 ;** Soldiers, and Gentlemen. This, I must tell 
 
 you. 
 Before Argyle, and his Fanaticks fell you, 
 Stand to your standard ; keep your reputation. 
 And mind the honour of your shire and nation y 
 We fight for no fantastical persuasion, 
 We arm against unnatural invasion ; 
 We fight the bloody authors of our evils. 
 
tlii A PANEGYRIC, &C, 
 
 Who speak like saints, but counter-act like dc 
 
 vils : 
 So, if you flee, I'll mark you to your cost, 
 Shameful deserters of the royal host; 
 Which our renown'd ancestors, with good reason. 
 By law have ever punished as treason." 
 
 Then Kaillie cla\\^ his shoulders, swears, ar 
 
 damns, 
 
 " Must I not clip my sheep ; and spane m 
 
 lambs I 
 I'll turn my tail on Friday, without fail ye. 
 In spite of all the troop, or Devil take Kailhe,'^ 
 And yet, for all this heat, and firry farry. 
 Good, honest Kaillie to the last did tarry. 
 
 When frank Mass John came first into th 
 
 camp. 
 
 With his fierce flaming sword, none was so ramp. 
 He look'd like Mars, and vow^'d that he wouL 
 
 stand 
 So long's there was a rebel in the land. 
 He rhym'd, he sung, he jocund was and frolic, 
 Till Enoch Park gave Master John the colic ; 
 And so of all the troop there was not one 
 That turned his tail so soon as frank Alas 
 
 John* 
 He was tent-reader of our service-book ; 
 And poet too with help of Pejineeuik : 
 He was our writer, advocate, and clerk, 
 Till Ettrick fear, and that of Enoch Park, 
 ^uite tum'd his tune with the poor Englisl 
 
 Friar 
 To rhyme De planctu cudo in the rear. (25) 
 
 (25) Gringletie, Cairnmulr, Hayston, and Mass John, of al 
 those unfortunately under the lash of Dr Pennecuicfc^ muse 
 in thit poem, seem to have been treated \vith the least cere 
 monious jocularity. 
 
A PANEGYRIC, &C. Xiii 
 
 Now let us all with concord pray and sing, 
 God's name be praised I and Lord reform 
 OUR King I (26) 
 
 (26) King James the Se'vcnth of Scotland, and Second of 
 Fngland ; who, it appears, when this was written, was de- 
 throned, and in France, otherwise it would never have ended 
 in the way it does, while James was in power. Dr Penne- 
 cuik's ironical * Panegyriik^ ridiculing the Tories and Pre- 
 latists, must have followed the glorious PtEvOLuTioH, and ac- 
 companied his poetical * Address to the Prince of Orange,^ as 
 Butler's inimitable satire on the Whigs and Presbyterians in his 
 • Hudihrasy had attended the Restohation of Charles 
 THE Second, afterw^ards so happily celebrated by Ramsay in 
 his delightful Pastoral Comedy, ' The Ge/dle Shepherd,^ for the 
 admirable plot of which he is said to have been indebted to our 
 author. See l>r Pennecuik's Wotkst with Notes. The editor of 
 the prose in this edition, with Notes^ had no concern in the pub- 
 lication of the poems, in which, through ignorance and inabi- 
 lity to see its history, some literary coxcomb, by way of cor- 
 rection, has substituted, at the conclusion of this • Panegyrick* 
 Lord bless and save our King, for * and Lord Reform our 
 King !' This last expression, however, could not have been in- 
 serted with safety, had it been written and made public in 1685, 
 or at any time previous to the Revolution, to compliment which, 
 the Prince of Orange and the Whigs, by ridiculirg the infa- 
 tuated reign of the last of the House of Stuart, like • Hudihtas* 
 formerly in favour of Charles the Second, and the Cavaliers 
 and Tories, it had evidently been composed. 
 
LINTOUN GREEN, 
 A POEM, 
 
 IN NINE CANTOS. 
 
 I — BacchsB Satyrique sequuntur : 
 
 Qulque senex ferula titubantes cbrius artus 
 Susiinet ; et pando non fortitcr hxret assello, 
 Quacunquc ingrcdcris clamor juvenilis, ct una ; 
 Femincx voces, impulsaque tympana palmis, 
 Concavaque aera sonant, longoque foramine buxus. 
 
 Ov. Met. iv. %$, 
 
THE ARGUMENT OF THE FIRST CANTO. 
 
 LiNTOUN, in Regent Morton'^s time^ a pendicle of 
 Dalkeith — In 15S5, a rendezvous of the rebel 
 Lords^ in the continued conspiracies against 
 Jameses favourites^ after the Raid of Ruthven. 
 — Positions of the Lintoun homes. — Buke ofMon- 
 
 mouth — Harlof Argyll their rebellion. — Mili^ 
 
 tia called out; — Tweeddale and Selkirkshire 
 Troop; — Sutors of Selkirk^ — their bravery at 
 Flowden-field^-- Andrew Bryden^ — Jack of Ncw^ 
 bury, — Peebles^ Borroiv^Muir^ and the King's- 
 Muir, apart of il^ tvhere the Troop had inef;-^-* 
 fomerly the theatre of ' Peebles at the Play,'^ 
 — what the famous plays of Peebles were, — The 
 Lintoun Company^ — their Captain describedy^ • 
 Lieutenant described^ — where born and bred-^ — 
 other Officers^ — the thickness of their sculls^ — the 
 uses of theni and their Company'' s^ should battering 
 
 rams be revived lloll called ;—~the hirsel order ^ 
 
 ed to Leadlau\ — march from thence through the 
 town to the green^ — their parents exult at their 
 triumphs and sights at Peeble,*^^-^ what they did^ 
 andsaiv there ; -^the Cross^ — the effigies of the late 
 Giffiird^s wife^ and her five children^ there y— 
 the smiddy ; — the green. — The green described^ 
 — its uses and appearance ^--the Markets where 
 held^ — what brought to them^ and by tvhom y — the 
 Grassy brae beyond the Lyne^ betwixt the market^ 
 height and the green ^ — is used by the children for 
 rolling doivn sideways.^ in the play q/'Rocketj-Row ; 
 and for sliding^ seated on a sheep^s scull^ in that of 
 Hurl j-Hacket. — The Captain arrives on the green^ 
 — ?^ almost crushed to death by the mob^-^-his 
 speech and exclamations on the occurrence^ 
 
CANTO I. 
 
 WAS never seen in Lintoun town, (l) 
 
 Since e'er it had a Fair, 
 Sic crowds a' rinnan' up and down, 
 
 And through it sic repair. 
 As was that Market day in June ; 
 
 It had nse room to spare. 
 Ilk neuk and close was fill'd sae soon, 
 
 Ilk room ta'en up sae ear' 
 
 Wi' fo'k that day; 
 
 Even when a hundred years before. 
 
 Appended to Dalkeith, 
 It such attractions had in store. 
 
 Amidst its moors and heath, 
 As to invite the Lords that bore 
 
 Grace with Elizabeth, 
 \iid James had banished heretofore. 
 
 Its shelter underneath 
 
 Their plots to lay, (2) 
 
 At ilka gavel, tae the street. 
 
 The auld anes, leanan' stood ; 
 'Tween stick and wa' they keep their feet. 
 
 The hurry heats their blood ; 
 They cr^ck and blaw whene'er they meet. 
 
 They're a' in merry mood ; 
 
 (1) See, in Dr Pennecuik's Works, the Description of Tweed- 
 dale, by him and Mr Foibes of New-Hail, * of the L>ne,' for 
 a description of Lintoun, the Sub-Metropolis of Tweeddale: Al- 
 so, the scenery edition of The Gentle Shepherd ; and the European 
 Alagazine, May 1809. — The houses are built in the Danish 
 fashion, with their gables to the street, and nurrow clofes or 
 lanes between them. 
 
 (2) See Spotlswood's Church Hist. Lib vi. Thence, by the 
 Thief- Road, or Cauldstanc- slack, they surprized, and [brought 
 the King to terms, at Stirling, obliging him to dismiss Lis fa« 
 vourite, and receive themselves. 
 
 A 2 
 
6 
 
 The cankart carline e'en look'd' sweet 
 Frae out beneath her hood. 
 
 And gleg that day, (3^ 
 
 Twas when the Duke of Monmouth rose, 
 
 Supported by Argyll ; 
 Though 'gainst the Covenanters chose, 
 
 By Charles to fight ere while. 
 The Duke had with them come to blows,. 
 
 Abandon'd its defile. 
 At Bothwell Brig defeated those 
 
 Who thought that Sharp in stile 
 
 Was made away 
 
 'Twas when they both from Holland came, 
 
 'Gainst tyranny to fight. 
 To try a priest-rid Bigot's claim, 
 
 To govern wrong or right ; 
 When Scots and English were so tame. 
 
 For James they shov/'d their might. 
 First those, for him, Argyll o'ercame. 
 
 To these, though their delight, 
 
 Monmouth gave way 
 
 All the militia of the land. 
 
 When call'd out fast appeared. 
 Then were they under such command, 
 
 And royalty so feared. 
 Among the rest that forward stand. 
 
 The Tweeddale Sheep new sheared. 
 And Selkirk Sutors made a band. 
 
 Their rusty firelocks cleared, 
 
 And quick obey 
 
 The Selkirk Sutors aff their stools, 
 Ill-sitten but at the best, 
 
 (3) * Through the fair streets, the matron? in a row. 
 Stand in their porches, and cojoy the show.'* 
 
 Pope, I Had xviiu 
 
In dirt haste raise, flang down their tools, 
 
 Declaring for the Test; (4) 
 
 For him, though priest-rid, inarched, that rules ; 
 
 Pipes playing as they prest, 
 
 I Siitors of Selkirk^ t' win the dools^ 
 
 And Flowers' of the Forest,, 
 
 Loud all the way. 
 
 By these their tunes kept high in glee. 
 
 In mind of former deeds. 
 They Flowden Field hefove them see. 
 
 Still Andrew Bryden leads ; (5) 
 From Tweeddale Sheep to bear the gree. 
 
 Ilk Sutor northward speeds. 
 And fears beyond his last to be. 
 
 When fighting danger breeds. 
 
 No more than they ^ 
 
 (4) The Test of 16 St, required from all who held any offices 
 under Government, ecclesiastical, civil, or military, by James 
 the lid, when Duke of York, and sent as High Conimissoner to 
 Edinburgh, by his brother Charles the Jld. Seethe Poem in 
 JDr Pennecuik's Works intitkd " The Tragedy of the Duke dc 
 Alva," alias ♦* Gray Beard,*' 
 
 (5) The town clerk of Selkirk, whose name was Andrew Bry- 
 den, marched to the field of Flowden at the head of eighty sutor», 
 and other tradesmen of the town; only seven ot tliat number 
 returned from the field of battle The town cierk was one who 
 was knighted upon the occasion for his gallant behaviour ; and 
 they brought with them two standards, one of which is in the 
 possession of the incorporation of weavers in the burgh at this 
 time, and the other in the possession of the town council From 
 the celebrated battle of Flowden the antient songs of the ' Sutors 
 of Selkirk.' and the * Flowers of the Forest,' took their rise The 
 few who eseaped, found, on their return, in the forest of Lady- 
 woodcdge, the wife of one of their brethren lying dead, and hep 
 child sucking her breast. Thence the town of Selkirk obtain- 
 ed for their arms, a woman sitting upon a sarcophagus, hold- 
 ing a child in her arms ; in the back-ground a wood ? i^^id or 
 the sarcophagus the arn;s of Scotland. 
 
8 
 
 Though Jack ofKcwbwy had left 
 
 His hundred looms at home ; (e) 
 His Craft clad in their warps and weft, 
 
 And with the beams had come (7) 
 With Henry Howard, Henry's heft. 
 
 To save their English mum, 
 Of chiefs and king who Scotland 'reft, 
 
 A lingle breaks a thrum 
 
 Still, any day-: 
 
 Like horse-potatoes, sutors^ ^clods (s) 
 
 In Selkirk town were rife ; 
 O' flour baked, brown, and rough as sods, 
 
 By ilka sutor's wife ; 
 Wi' these, their props, they had the odds. 
 
 For bread's the staff of life. 
 Were pouches crammed like fu' pea-cods. 
 
 Thus strengthened for the strife. 
 
 To gain the day: 
 
 Wee! shod w^i' shoon, baith stout and heal, 
 
 A ' new frae aif the last, 
 Wi' soles as strong as hard-wood deal. 
 
 And round them iron past, 
 W^i' sparables, 'tween tae and heel, (0) 
 
 To save the leather cast, 
 Wi' lingle and el son bound, like mail, 
 
 They're ready to stand fast 
 
 In bloody fray. 
 
 (6) yohn Winclomb, known by the name of Jack of New* 
 burv, who figured in the reign of Henry VIII. as the greatest 
 clf^tiiier in England. He kept 100 looms in his house at work; 
 which house is still shown as a curiosity He led a little 
 band of his workmei^ to the aid of Henry Howard, afterwards 
 Earl of Surrey, the commander, before the battle of Floddcn* 
 iieJ. 
 
 (7 ) • The stuff of his spear was like a weaver's beam :' — 
 1 uh'on. 
 
 {t J -ntors^ Clods are a kind of coarse brown wh^aten bread, 
 
 I. ' iittl, and surrounded with a thiek crut, like lumps of eanh. 
 
 ■ -.rabita are small casi-uoii naiis, for the soles of shoes. 
 
9 
 
 3yond the pastoral Tweed there lies 
 
 The Peebles' Borrow- Muir : 
 y^here our king's on it gave the prize 
 
 Ambition to allure, 
 [ing's-Muir is named, to memorize 
 
 The place, and fact, secure ; 
 'hen 'twixt the butts the shaft that flies 
 
 There sped, till shot most sure 
 
 Obtained the day* 
 
 Vhen James the First his freedom gained, 
 
 And back to Scotland canxe ; 
 lad seen what skill had been attained 
 
 By archers, England's fame ; 
 \y every art he zealous strained 
 
 The Scottish spear-men's name, 
 'or bow-men too should be obtained, 
 
 *' Christts Kirk^^ should rouse their shame, 
 
 Butts call to play : 
 
 rhen on this splendid sporting place, 
 
 The scene eke of his song, 
 Too, riders strove to v/in the race ; 
 
 And ran on foot the throng, 
 Dr the light bounding foot-ball chace, 
 
 Or leap, or wrestle stronr; ; 
 And " wooers" danced with glee and grace, 
 
 The " kitties clene" among. 
 
 Ilk Feebhs\Flay (lO.) 
 
 On this King's-Muir the Sutors met, 
 
 The Tweeddale Sheep frae Lyne, 
 Determined not a foot should set 
 
 Ihere, on their mutton dine, 
 
 (lo) See the humourous poems of Chiistis Kirk of the Grefie^i 
 and I tbiii to the } lay^ by King James the First of ScoilariW, 
 
12 
 
 The Captain wore a sheep- skin coat 
 
 With collet, and rapier, 
 His shed hair down his cheeks was brought 
 
 Straight over either ear ; 
 And least his little helm should not 
 
 To half the crowd appear^ 
 He mark'd where he was to be sought 
 
 By thrice his height, a spear 
 
 He bore that day : (i 
 
 A maud, red check'd, wi' fringe and dice, 
 
 He o'er his showthers drew, 
 At's right side tied in knot fu' nice, 
 
 Wi' bughts and ends in view ; 
 He'd flame-like gushets, to his thighs 
 
 Half up, on stockings blue ; 
 Bright yellow thrumbs, at ilk knee, vies, 
 
 Wi' rose on ilka shoe. 
 
 In bunches gaj 
 
 The great Lieutenant's warlike suit. 
 
 To make Argyll afraid. 
 Was two large pistols, monstrous boots, 
 
 A sheep-head sword, gray plaid ; 
 In's bonnet braid a wig he'd put. 
 
 Of such a length and shade. 
 Like tails from four black wedders cut. 
 
 And on his shouthers laid, 
 
 It seem'd that daj 
 
 Th' enormous tails descended down. 
 
 His boots rose up his thighs, 
 'Most met them, half way from his crown. 
 
 And balanc'd them in size ; 
 
 (ii) Sheep-skin; a buff coat of sheep's leather — Helm, < 
 steel bonnet. See Dr Pennecuik's works, * of the I'weei 
 note with the Roll, and Weapon Showing on the King's-Mui 
 in 1637, for the military appointments of those days in Twcei 
 dale« 
 
IS 
 
 Hk wig his Captain for a gown, 
 
 In frost, could not despise ; 
 And, if on guard, one boot, slit down, 
 
 For's sentry-box would prize; 
 
 If rain'd the day ; 
 
 The Captain's gear was all new bought, 
 
 Or frae's ain w^oo' or hides, 
 Wi' cash his hogs, and crocks, hnd brought. 
 
 And ewe-milk cheese besides ; 
 But the Lieutenant borrowed ought. 
 
 As fortune to it guides, 
 His wig for Baillie Hodge was wrought. 
 
 His boots for smugglers' rides. 
 
 Goods to convey. 
 
 That a' his braws, as bright's a jay. 
 
 Might not, unseen, be lost ; 
 To show the heroes caus'd dismay 
 
 To Campbell, to his cost ; 
 That at their head he might display 
 
 His grandeur and his host. 
 How's great Lieutenant did obey^ 
 
 O' a' the tups, his boast 
 
 For size that day ; 
 
 On this third Market day in June, 
 
 The occasion not to lose, 
 Benorth, upon the flat aboon. 
 
 As most conspicuous. 
 The Captain, all, about the town. 
 
 Each strung like a wild-goose. 
 To be drawn up, and then marched down. 
 
 Had ordered, past each house ^ 
 
 To th' Green that d^^^ 
 
 The Serjeant warned, and then went up. 
 As bid, to call the roll, 
 
 B 
 
14 . 
 
 When not a single Lintoun tup 
 
 Was wanting of the whole ; 
 They were sae glad, f rae ciosses wimp ! 
 
 Fu' thick, at ance a shoal 
 W i' weapons cam, hap, stap, and loup. 
 
 And each wi' glaiked poll. 
 
 To show away^ 
 
 Wi' firelocks, some without a flint, 
 
 Some without locks at a' ; 
 Some wanting ramrods, they had tint, 
 
 And some that wadna' draw ; 
 For guns, wi' pistols some there went, 
 
 Maist match for matchlock sma' ; 
 The spearmen, some wi' speets, ahint, 
 
 Thence speed toward Leadlaw, (12) 
 
 Too, fast that day : 
 
 As Gabriel Gash, drest like a fright, 
 
 Frse the tov/n-head up hied. 
 Whan speer'd gif he ran there to fight, 
 
 ' Yes, yes I— O, yes I' he cried: 
 Is, risen again, Argyll in sight ? 
 
 Tam Tyke, 'yes, yes!' replied. 
 E'en call'd to face to left, or right, 
 
 Before, to do't, they tried, 
 
 ' Yes, yes !' they ba-5; 
 
 Tae ken a Lintoun sheep at ance, 
 
 True Twathal a' the year. 
 You need not use another sense. 
 If you can only hear ; 
 '^^For if you meet the brute by chance. 
 And civil question speer. 
 He'll show himself, for certain, hence. 
 Impertinent howe'er. 
 
 Yes, yes ! he'll ba*.a: 
 
 ^TZ*^ Leadlaw, a hill, northward, near Lintoun. See Di 
 f*cnnecuick's Works. 
 
15 
 
 hey stood in rows, like whapies doiled, (13) 
 
 Set up upon their ends ; 
 Jome liad their clothes already soil'd ; 
 
 Their names some scarcely kend j 
 the Serjeant oft with anger boil'd, 
 
 When they did not attend ; 
 To sort and size them, sair he toiPd^ 
 
 Though aft 't\vas in the end 
 
 Time thrown away ^ 
 
 rank Fartleberry w^as sae fat, 
 Ralph Rot sae bow'd and lean, 
 :>im Sturdy was sae stiiF and squat 
 
 Wi's gleed auld warlock een, 
 iang Sickness sized them when he sat 
 
 Pate Pock and him between ; 
 rhe hogs, if reprimanded, grat ; (l4) 
 Yet a' march'd to the Green 
 
 In grand array; 
 
 Hie anld anes were sac proud to see 
 
 Their sons grown musketeers, 
 rheir daughters braw sae fu' o' glee, 
 
 And follow^an' in their rears, 
 fheir drums and din made them sae spree, 
 
 Ilk carle, and grannie speers, 
 IVhar to they're gaan', fain near to be. 
 
 Whan rattled wi* bandoleers 
 
 Their bairns that day j 
 
 rheir bairns, that at the wars had been, 
 
 At their Metropolis ; 
 ^t least had dared x\rgyll, and, keen. 
 
 Showed courage not the less 5 
 
 (13) Whelps confused. 
 
 (14) Ho^s are sheep so called, from the time tliey are wearW 
 
 ;d, till first shorfl. 
 
 B 2 
 
16 
 
 Had Peebles, and its wonders seen. 
 
 And a' repeated thrice ; (l5) 
 On the King's-Muir, beyond its green, 
 
 Had met, which famous is 
 
 For Peebles^ Plai/d 
 
 So, in a hirsel, frae the north, 
 
 Thej- a' the Cross gaed past ; 
 Whar GiiFard's mate o' meikle worth. 
 
 Stands tapering like a mast ; 
 O' bairns, first, second, third, and fourth, 
 
 She'd round her too, at last 
 A fifth high on her head shone forth, 
 
 Expos'd to every blast 
 
 Ilk windy day 
 
 She was the late Laird GifFard's wife, 
 
 A much beloved dame. 
 That with her husband ne'er had strife, 
 
 And Euphan Veitch her name ; 
 Carved by his chisel to the life, 
 
 Their pedestal the same. 
 Their children's round her statue rife. 
 
 All, at the Cross, proclaim 
 
 TheGifFard sway. (i6' 
 
 Whan by the Smiddy they had gane^ 
 
 The cross, the booths, and lasses 
 To see their lads that fill'd the lane. 
 
 And clear'd the narrow passes. 
 The Corner house's guarding stane 
 
 They turn'd a', then, in masses. 
 And to the open Green fu' fain. 
 
 That cover 'd 'maist wi' grass is. 
 
 They cam that da} 
 
 (15) Three streets; three ports; three bridges; thr< 
 churches ; three steeples; three mills; and in its arnns tbn 
 salmons — See DrPenr.}Cuick's works, LescnptioTi ofliveedd:. 
 
 (16) See the Notes on Dr Pennecuick's \Yorks. 
 
' 17 
 
 Xhis common-good, the town's resort, 
 
 Is used in various ways : 
 To walk ; to talk ; to strive ; to sport ; 
 
 To preach ; to stand and gaze j 
 To list', to true, or false report. 
 
 What each about it says ; 
 While youth, by feats, displays its forte ; 
 
 And lasses bleach their clai's. 
 
 Here, singing gay; 
 
 Gn t'other side of this bright howm, 
 
 The Lyne runs circling round, 
 Whose waters down the valley roam, 
 
 That at Romanno's found ; 
 The Green, from western blasts that come. 
 
 Oft saves yon rising ground, 
 Where's paid at Market many a sum. 
 
 And numerous flocks abound 
 
 For sale that day, 
 
 Frae hethery hills, baith far and near, 
 
 Wi' tups, ewes, hogs, and lambs ; 
 Whei^e store of storemasters appear, 
 
 As rugged as their rams ; 
 Where, sideways, freed frae school and fear, 
 
 Their hands clapt to their hams. 
 Wanes, Rockety^row*, fast rolling steer, 
 
 Like drunkards fu' o' drams, 
 
 Down its green brae ^ 
 
 Or, named frae Stirling's " heading hill'^ 
 
 Adjoining to its castle. 
 To the blithe clack of Brig-house mill. 
 
 And the Lyne's merry bustle, 
 Upon a gimmer's hornless scull, (17) 
 
 For which they brawl and justle, 
 
 (17) Brig-house mill, at a bridge over the Lyne, a little 
 above Lintoun. Ewes are called gimmers, between the first 
 and second time they are shorn The amusement of Hurly- 
 hacket is noticed by Sir David Lindsay of the Mount ; and by 
 Walter Scott in his notes on tUe Lady of the Lake: 
 
18 
 
 Slide rapid down, with shout and yell, 
 At HiirlyJiacket^ wrestle 
 
 Then for't, in plrg 
 
 Their valiant Captain now arrived^ 
 
 Wi' his great aid-de-camp, 
 Who weel for him a passage strived 
 
 To open through the thrang,. 
 Though 'maist he was of him deprived, 
 
 Ere, frae the mob amang. 
 Within the ring (sae close they hived, 
 
 O' them was sic a bang,) 
 
 He got thai day 
 
 The circle gain'd, sighs he, * before 
 
 ' I ne'er got such a squeeze ! 
 ' My ribs ! my bones ! Pm all so sore I—* 
 
 ' I'm so bedaub'd with grease ! — 
 ' Ere I come to review them more^ 
 
 ' Unless I pass with ease, 
 
 * Shall warlike William reach our shore I 
 
 * ohall James seek western breeze. 
 
 And fly away 
 
 ' When, unprotected by our arms, 
 ' And military skill, 
 
 * That him, as yet, have saved from harms, ] 
 ' And from impending ill, ] 
 
 ^ Exposed to other such alarms 
 
 ' From western highland hill, 
 ' He sees the Covenanted swarms 
 
 ' Again left to rebel 
 
 Without dismay 
 
 ^ Though Monmouth, when he'd done his best, 
 ' Before, did not succeed 5 
 
* Argyll, his friend, not break the Test ; 
 
 *• And forfeit each his head !' 
 
 * Faugh ! what rank smells ! — I once was drest*-? 
 
 ' From oiF my clothes proceed ! 
 
 * From tar, and tallowy 't might be guest 
 
 * 'Mong sheep well smear 'd indeed 
 
 I've been to day!' 
 
20 
 
 THE ARGUMENT.- 
 
 Tlie Lintoun Company exercise on the Greeny 
 *^attract the Lairds^ Pbrtioners^ and othcf^s^ to- 
 the spot; — also Mr Peter Pork^ the Lintoim Boar^^ 
 — the origin of his nick-name^ ^the Lintoim Boar 
 described; — Mr Nicol Nicon^ the Newland^s Ass 
 arrives^ — the origin of his nick^name^ — the Ass 
 described; — he sees the Boar^ — recollects that he 
 had outwitted him^ — gets into a fury at the sight 
 of him^ and his sty out of which he had been sup-- 
 planted by him-Jie addresses the Boar^ — and seizes 
 him by the ear.-^The Captain^ and his JLieutenmifs 
 behaviour on the parade;-^ the Captain is left by 
 the mob — his mortification^ — is deserted by all but 
 his Lieutetiantj — his deportment on the occasion^ 
 he dis?nisses his company^ - and withdraws from the 
 
 Green in a pet Whist/and WillHash passes through 
 
 the Green^ stops on hearing grumphy'' s squeels^ — 
 his mode of expressing his entertainment at the 
 Boar's situation,, — the advantage he proposes to 
 draw from the recital of the adventure ^-^ his losses^ 
 m^the way in which he tries to retrieve thcnu — the 
 unfortunate issue of his attempt— ^-his resolution as 
 to his future conduct^^ leaves the Gi^eeUm 
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 Scarce had the loyal Lintoun lads 
 
 Begun to exercise, 
 When Lairds and Portioners, in squads, (l) 
 
 Came down to feast their eyes ; 
 
 (l)Larger and smaller proprietors. — Small proprietors abound 
 >li and about Lintoun, and are calltd Portioners ; Seme of them, 
 in ridicule, from their affected importance, get tilC title of Laird; 
 as * Laird Giffard,' of Lintoun celebrity* 
 
21 
 
 Carles left their saddles, auld wives their pad's, 
 
 Ilk to the green haugh hies j 
 Like coosers daft were Lintoun dads, 
 
 Or cattle stung by flies 
 
 In swarms, that day : 
 
 Frae Brig-house^mill ancT Leadlaw heights 
 
 The Lairds attend the show ; 
 The Portioners appear in flights, 
 
 As from the town they flow ; 
 Out frae his roof, 'mongst other wights. 
 
 Too, P£TER Pork must go ; 
 So forth he comes to see the sights, 
 
 And all the news to know 
 
 In town that djay; 
 
 This learned jeeg our Lintoun had,. 
 
 As like his reverence 
 As e'er a child was to its dad. 
 
 And next in consequence. 
 As proud and short, weell stuffed and clad. 
 
 Who from his audience. 
 Their teacher first, a numerous squad, 
 
 Got more obedience. 
 
 With greater sway, 
 
 Than even the little great Mass John 
 
 His precepts lead before. 
 But for his preparation 
 
 And previous care and lore. 
 That on his congregation 
 
 Lost labour v/ould deplore, 
 Our rising generation 
 
 Yclep'd the Lintoun Boar^~ 
 
 .When jesting gay 5 
 
 Though, v/hen, within the school-house gate, 
 All underneath his power, 
 
2^ 
 
 With books in hands, on lengthen'd seat,. 
 
 They, at their lessons, cower. 
 With taws held ready them to rate, (2) 
 
 Before the parting hour. 
 Nor Boar, nor Bore,, is in a pate, (3) 
 
 Kor aught but spelling, sour. 
 
 The A,B, Cj 
 
 There giving him, obsequiously. 
 
 His honours, every ounce. 
 They, Maister Pork^ most courteously. 
 
 His proper name,^ pronounce ; 
 As others pertinaciously 
 
 Howe'er, both wit, and dunce. 
 Will not the Boar^ facetiously. 
 
 For Peter Pork, renounce, 
 
 These we'll obey; 
 
 At hand, just o'er the Lyne, in view. 
 
 This piggy's sty was plac'd ; 
 Of grice Irv'd in it, young, a few, 
 
 A lean white sow it grac'd : 
 The Boar was round as any clue. 
 
 Was smooth and simper fac'd,. 
 In height about som.e four feet two, 
 
 Tho' bald, affected taste, 
 
 And minc'd away ; 
 
 * Indeed ! — Ah ! — ViQ^ly ! — Strange ! — Is't so I 
 
 ' Indeed I— Most wonderful !^ Indeed !' 
 
 Were chief the lengths that he could go. 
 Or in discourse proceed 5 
 
 (2) Taws ; asHp of leather slit twc-tlurds up into thongs, 
 lor chastising with in schools. 
 
 (8) Boar, a hog ; Bore, sometimes a dull uninteresting, but 
 usually, as in this instance,, a teazing, disagreeable conceited 
 iw'ilowj a two-legged puppy. 
 
23 
 
 I'^et was he in all things a beau, 
 
 .A.nd carried high his head ; 
 lis legs, six inches loiig, below. 
 
 And round as anj reed, 
 
 Spread like an A ; 
 
 lis bonnet, blue as bumming flee 
 
 That lays its*eggs in meat, 
 u)f scarlet had its button wee. 
 
 And rim vermilion neat ; 
 3is beard was pointed like a V, (4) 
 
 Or W parted feat ; 
 [lis chequered plaid reached to the knee ; 
 
 Ilk shoe, shaped like a peat. 
 
 Was black's a slae.-- , 
 
 (Attracted to this public scene, 
 
 Frae Newlands passing bj, 
 Sot NicoL NicoN to the green 
 
 With grumphj frae his sty ; 
 But scarce the Boar had Nicon seen. 
 
 When he stole afFward sly, 
 A:nd thought beyond his reach he*d been, 
 
 \V hen soon he heard him cry, 
 
 ' What news the day ?' 
 
 Some four miles farther down the Lyne, 
 
 Below the Dead-burn's mouth. 
 Where sallow sallows it confine. 
 
 Beyond Romanno, south. 
 By Newland church's sombre shrine 
 
 Its School for parish youth 
 
 (4) * He "would visit his mistress in a morning gown, band, 
 ihort cuffs, and a peaked beard.* ArbuthnoU — Butler describes 
 :he beard of Hudjbrqs as shaped like a tile; whicii is that of 
 he celebrated Karl of Essex's in his portrait among Virtue's 
 Illustrious Heads ; and Camden in his Remains, on sut?iames, 
 mentions that a Prince of Wales was called ' Barmbtruch^ that 
 is Spade- bearded.* King Charles the First is always represented 
 with a pointed or peaked beard. 
 
24 
 
 Is seen : at Cants-walls those that dine (5) 
 Oft call't the Ass's-booth, 
 
 And hear him bray 
 
 Thence by the name of ISfeidands* Ass 
 
 Its lettergae is known, (6) 
 Frae Gatehope burn to Cauld-stane Pass, (7) 
 
 Much more than by his own ; 
 Though 'tis the same that cuddy's was 
 
 Eutyches rode upon 
 And had its image raised in brass 
 
 For raising to the throne 
 
 Augustus gay 
 
 So gay, besides, to giv't its name. 
 
 He built Nicopolis : 
 Though double pledge it pawns for fame ; 
 
 Since joined to Nicon is. 
 That victor means, a term the same, 
 
 Conqu'ror, from Nicholas, 
 And ^icol Nicon both proclaim 
 
 Conquest and victory his 
 
 That owns the twae. (s] 
 
 (5) Cants-walls, a public house near Ncwlands church, when 
 Dr Pennecuick and the neighbouring gentry used to meet anc 
 crack their jokes over Lady EfTy, the hostess's mirth •inspirinj 
 ale. See Dr Per.necuick's works, Of the Lyne. 
 
 (6) Lettergae, the precentor, session-derk^and schoolmaster 
 See Kingjames and Allan Ramsay's Chn'st^s Kirk on the dreen 
 
 (7) At the southern and the northern extremities of Tweed, 
 dale. — See the Description of the county in Dr Pennecuick'; 
 
 -works. 
 
 (8) * The like observation is, that some names are unfortu 
 nate to Princes ; as Cahis amongst the Romans ; John, ix 
 France, England, and Scotland; and He?iry lately in France 
 Such like curious observations bred the superstitious kind o\ 
 Divination called Onomantia, condemned by the last General 
 Council, by which the Pythagoreans judged the even numbei 
 of vowels in names to signify imperfections in the left side ol 
 men, and the odd number in the right. By this Aitgustiis th( 
 Emperor, encouraged himself, and conceived good hope oi 
 victory, when, as before the sea battle of Act'ium, the firsi 
 man he met was a poor way.faring man driving his ass be- 
 
25 
 
 This Ass though was of mongrel kind^ 
 
 'Twixt ass, sheep, calf, and mule, 
 Not pure from Issachar, we fmd, (9) 
 
 Though ' strong,' a stubborn fool, 
 Wi' curlj pash, wi' nonsense lin'd, 
 
 A' jumbled when at school. 
 In verbal blunders but that shin'd. 
 
 Yet thought he bray'd by rule, 
 
 In's best essay : 
 
 He has twa gllmmeran' pinky een. 
 
 That blink frae 'neath his brow ; 
 ■His nose's neb to move is seen 
 
 When words come frae his mou% 
 Unless wi' snuff it cramm'd has been, 
 
 Till it is stiff and fu ; 
 His knobbed ancles inward lean, 
 
 And baughie either shoe 
 
 Till it gives way 5 
 
 fore him, whose name, nhlch when he demanded, he answerer!, 
 Eutycbes, that is Happy Man, ?ind ihathis ass's name was N/con, 
 P that i?» Victjr. la which place, when he accordingly had ob- 
 ' tained the victory, he built the city Nicopclis, that is, The City 
 of Victory i and there erected b>azen images of the man and 
 his ass. By this Theodatus King of the Goth:, v/hen he was 
 ^curious to know the success of his wars against the Remans, 
 an 0?i07?iantual, or ^rzrne-ivisard Jew, willed him to shut up a 
 number of swine in little hog-stitss, and to give some of them 
 Homan names, to others Gothish names, with several marks, 
 and there to leave them to a certain day : A t the day ap- 
 pointed, the King, with the Jew, repaired to the hog-sties, 
 where they found them only dead to whom they had given 
 the Gothish namef, and those alive to whom they had given 
 the Roman names, but yet with their brissels more than half 
 shed; whereupon the Jew foretold, that the Cotbs should 
 wholly be discomfited, and the Romans should lose a great 
 j part of their forces ' ' Nicholas' signifies in Greeks * Con- 
 queror of the People ' — See Camden^ s kemains^ Names. 
 
 (9) Issachar is a strotig ass couching down between iwo 
 burdens— Gd^7„'t?j/j- xlix. 14. 
 
 C 
 
!36 
 
 'His bonnet dun, to hide the dust, 
 
 Has button either nane, 
 Or S3e concealed, by dirt a crust, 
 
 For buttonless it's ta'en ; 
 The beard upon his chin is just 
 
 Like fog upon a stane ; 
 His taws are coloured, too, like rust ; 
 
 His shoon like sods seem tv/ain 
 
 O' shapeless claj 
 
 Yet does this ass his fellows mock. 
 
 And take an envious pride, 
 By sneers, his betters to provoke, 
 
 And o'er their failings ride ; 
 Oft crow like ony bantam cock, 
 
 Wi' hi.-; bow'd legs astride, 
 When he can others' feelings shock. 
 
 Though Midas be his guide, 
 
 And lead the way 
 
 Five great misfortunes ever filled 
 
 His snool'd-like clownish head, 
 And there, fermenting, were distilled 
 
 On every word and deed ; 
 hi tliese reciting, only, skilled, 
 
 He could with ease proceed ; 
 From these, how grumphy he maist killed, 
 
 What mischief they could breed, 
 
 We'll see this day 
 
 How, conqueror and victor too. 
 
 Confiding in his name. 
 As Caesar sly from Nicon's drew, 
 
 He gained immortal fame ; 
 How, Nicol Nicon telling true, 
 
 A double portion came 
 Of fortune's favours him to woo, 
 
 At last, to drive baith shame 
 
 And grief away 
 
27 
 
 for he had held the piggy's post, 
 
 Great lantoun's letter-gae, 
 A.nd had been jockeyed to his cost, 
 
 Which made hin> oft look wae, 
 Which made him suffer many a roast. 
 
 Which made liim boil and bray. 
 When grumphy, now so fat, him crost. 
 
 His sty, once his^ so gay 
 
 Before him lay.— . 
 
 Arrested thus, with hanging ears, 
 
 The Boar cam' dodging back, 
 Tho' he returned oppress'd with fears, 
 
 And with a motion slack ; 
 Yet notwithstanding on he steers. 
 
 Just like a fu' meal sack. 
 And up his little snout he rears, 
 
 *■ Indeed I' says he, ' good lack ! 
 
 Yen here to-day I' 
 
 * Yes /' bray 'd, with scowling look, the Ass, 
 
 Then took him by the lug, 
 ^ Although you have a face of brass 
 
 ' You're but a dirty pug ! 
 ^ Or pig ! if that's your common pass I 
 
 ' I neighbour have you snug !' — 
 ' O do not,' Grumphy squeel'd, ' alas I 
 
 ' So hard dear Nicol rug, 
 
 ' Or pinch, I pray ^\ 
 
 Determin'd there to leave a mark. 
 
 He squeez'd though wi' sic force. 
 He made the Boar mad staring stark, 
 
 And skirl till he was hoarse ; 
 Till collies loud began to bark. 
 
 To bend to him their course ; 
 The herds, the rippet to remark, 
 
 And rin wi' a' their force 
 
 To see the fray : 
 G 2- 
 
£8 
 
 As fast they ran as for a brews. 
 
 When each would other pass ; 
 Or, as of old, the favoured Jews, 
 
 When hurrying in a mass 
 To give cross Balaam's help his dues 
 
 By worshipping an ass ; 
 For idol calf, a hog to use ; (lO) 
 
 To treble join wdth bass. 
 
 And squeel, and bray. 
 
 The Captain now had room to show 
 
 His round milk-paritch face. 
 To swim about, and point his toe 
 
 With elegance and grace ; 
 His big Lieutenant did not so. 
 
 Come aiF another race, 
 Wi' brose and kail weell stuft, but slow. 
 
 He jogged, frae place tae place, 
 
 \yi' humph ! and ha-a I 
 
 Till, at the last, deserted quite 
 
 By a', but their ain men, 
 The Captain mortified, v/i' spite 
 
 Now took the sulks again I 
 He wheei'd to th' left— he wheePd to th' right — 
 
 But saw admirers nane, 
 Except his muckle man o' might. 
 
 Beside him, a' his lane 
 
 Like bullock stray ; 
 
 Though, bolt upright, erect he stood^ 
 
 Intent an eye to catch. 
 Or from a bonnet, or a snood, 
 
 Back-looking from the batch, 
 
 (tc) See I.e Cierc's Gc?JcsIs rn Cifciiincin'jn, and the Frag. 
 Tments cf Petronnts — 
 
 * J'lf^acus licet et porcinim romen adoret, 
 
 * £i celU (i. e. Abim) Lumnias advucet auriculas;* Sec. 
 
29 
 
 In vain one arm with's lance, a rood, (ll) 
 
 Propt level at the stretch, 
 The other, kitnbo'd, round he bow'd, 
 
 That side made like an H, 
 
 And this a P : 
 
 Than even the former disrespect. 
 
 By crushing crowd beset, 
 To him much worse was this neglect 
 
 Wi' whilk they paid their debt ; 
 Which e'er extreme the mob affect. 
 
 He only humbling s met ; 
 At last, ' Port arms ! — dismiss ! -Direct' ! 
 
 He cried, in grievous pet, 
 
 And turn'd away. 
 
 Aff flew the lads, with musket each. 
 
 To see the lettergaes, 
 So eager all the scene to reach 
 
 They made to it a race ; 
 Ilk to his Captain's turn'd his breech, 
 
 Q^uite toom was left his space. 
 Whilst fill'd the air, 'twixt every screech, ' 
 
 Around their favourite place. 
 
 Shouts I yamphs I and ba-as ! 
 
 The Ass, though, firmly kept his hold. 
 
 And still maintain'd his post. 
 Whilst, strutting off, the Captain bold 
 
 The green, unheeded, crost 
 Without a follower, young, or old. 
 
 Of which to make a boast. 
 Unless, of oily grampus mold. 
 
 The squire he had not lost 
 
 Throughout the day.— *^ 
 
 1 1) A roodi in len^^th. 
 
 C3 
 
so 
 
 Big, rovan', randy, whistlan' Will, 
 
 That coarse unfeeling beast. 
 That for his skin his horse will kill, 
 
 A knife thrust in his breast. 
 Worked out, and starved, his life-blood spill, 
 
 And at his torments jest. 
 When flayed, his carcase sell to fill 
 
 A kennel, hounds to feast. 
 
 Now pass'd this way ; 
 
 Long had there slid a humble sled 
 
 Below his horse's tail, 
 Which, by a back, a car he'd made,. 
 
 Tae ha'd on peats, or ale ; 
 At last a cart, on axle laid, 
 
 Fixt to twa wheels, though frail, 
 O' solid wood, it trundling gaed 
 
 O'er thief roads, hill, and dale, (12) 
 
 But laigh's a dray 
 
 He stops, on hearing Grumphy's squeels, 
 
 His crazy horse and cart. 
 Proclaiming loud the joy he feels, 
 
 By blowing out a f — t ; 
 In cavies poultry, eggs in creels. 
 
 Each by themselves apart. 
 Salt, herrings, calves tied by the heels, 
 
 Forgot, he yields his heart 
 
 To the affray 
 
 Whilst he was glowring at the sight. 
 His mouth drawn strait and purs'd. 
 
 His e'en stretched wide to see a' right,, 
 And cheeks blown like to burst, 
 
 ( -i) An old track called the ' Thief Road'' rurs the \*ho 
 length of Tweeddale. \row s. u U to r-trth. p;issin? throuj 
 Lintono, up the L>ri^. and by tiie Caulcstan«-s'ap ivt tiie w« 
 end of the Pentland hills. 
 
c> 
 
 1 
 
 roHecting keen, and stowan' tight,. 
 
 Ilk item, last and first, 
 To be retailed, near ingle bright, 
 
 For what would slake his thirst. 
 
 And hunger laj^ 
 
 \ slee, mischievous^ pawky: rogue, 
 
 Behind his cavie stole, 
 ^d getting to its door incogs 
 
 The slide that shut the hole 
 Drew up, and bawling with a brogue, . 
 
 In funny accents droll. 
 Let's now the barracks disembogue ! 
 
 Come Serjeant, call the roll ? 
 
 Ran quick away r 
 
 No sooner did the garrisoa 
 
 Find their egression free, 
 Than making no comparison 
 
 'Twixt it and liberty. 
 They rushed, without caparison, 
 
 The weak, strong, big, and wee,. 
 Like felons broke from a prison. 
 
 Or rakes frona brothel, ree. 
 
 Each his own way : 
 
 Soon like a weell-stock'd poultry yard, 
 
 Now Lintoun Green appears. 
 And, chucky ! wheety ! burdy ! burd ! 
 
 Pow ! pow ! assail the ears : (l3) 
 Whilst cackles, quacks, and blusterings, heard. 
 
 Join squeeb from Grumphy's fears ; 
 Loud crowing cocks strut thither ward. 
 
 And hither musketeers, 
 
 In proud array. 
 
 {ly) Chucky! wheety! pgwl pow I crieS used to call 
 hens, duckS| ;\nd turkies. 
 
S2 
 
 Whan hallanshaker Hash look'd round 
 
 To see what was the strow, 
 And th' open cavie empty found, 
 
 First, dazed, he clawed his pow. 
 For from all quarters issued sound. 
 
 Then, mumbling ' bow, wow, wow!' 
 He stood, like when at fciult a hound, 
 
 Wi's hair like touzled tow, 
 
 Or bottled strat 
 
 Ere long to raging fury rais'd 
 
 By cackles, quacks, and crows, 
 He roar'd, and pranc'd about, bombazVi, 
 
 But where to run scarce knows, 
 Ae hand his breeks behind uprais'd, 
 
 The other forward goes, 
 Like horn of snail on's forehr ad plac'd, 
 
 To guard and lead its nose, 
 
 And grope its way 
 
 Near a cot door, ayont the green. 
 
 High on a midden, stood 
 A braw crouse cock as cou'd be seen, 
 
 Wi' hens round him a crowd ; 
 Soon catching whistlan' Will's wild een, 
 
 And's lugs by's crawings loud. 
 Like Reynard, darting at them keen, 
 
 To seize the numerous brood 
 
 He made essaj 
 
 But scarce, his losses up to mend, 
 
 He well had thus begun. 
 Of others careless, to attend. 
 
 Alone, to number one. 
 Ambition's height to try t' ascend, 
 
 Had up its margin won. 
 When to his waist, or e'er he kend, 
 
 'Midst muck and soil a tun, 
 
 He felt dismay : 
 
33 
 
 [The cottar and his wife came out^ 
 
 Too, furious, in a rap, 
 [To save their hens, and sultan stout, 
 
 Or lose their blood ilk drap, 
 [When finding Reynard on his rout. 
 
 To snatch them, in a trap, 
 They both attack him wi' a shout, 
 
 Increase his foul mishap, 
 
 And on him lay j: 
 
 He bash'd his face wi's steeked neeves, . 
 
 She scolded wi' her tongue. 
 Her auldest son, whilst she him deaves, 
 
 Thrash'd on him wi' a rung. 
 Their weeest weeane even at him heaves 
 
 Great clarts o' shairn and dung ; 
 Whilst, lair'd, he roar'd ' relieve 's ! relieves !' 
 
 Dirt, sticks, stanes, at him flung. 
 
 Thick on hini play i 
 
 Till scarce wi' ee that could be seen. 
 
 Not wide as heretofore ; 
 Wi' cheeks, like baps, not over lean,. 
 
 Or buttocks buttered o'er ; 
 Wi' breeks and bonnet, neither clean ; 
 
 Wi' ribs and shoulders sore ; 
 Wi' coat all yellow, black, and green, 
 
 And stinking, soil'd, and tore. 
 
 He got away : 
 
 Now glad to get less than his ain. 
 
 Let others' fowls alone. 
 He of them gathers what remain, 
 
 And, whistlan', journeyed on, 
 llesolv'd to shun such sights again. 
 
 Of cares to mind his own. 
 Though fewer tales he should retain. 
 
 And thereby lose a bone 
 
 To pick some day* 
 
S4 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 Overcome hy his piteous squeels^ the Ass lets the 
 Boar free, The Boar resolves on bloody ven- 
 geance ; — on second thoughts he represses his fii- 
 ry^ and calls for an explanation, — The exercising 
 leing ended^ Balaam^ s friend prepares to give it^ 
 — the musketeers keep order JLintoun Kirk de- 
 scribed^ — with a steeple^ without a clocks — its bell^ 
 bad preacher^ congregation^ and service on Sun- 
 days, — Laird Gifard^s melodious voice frotv the 
 inside of the window of his nest in the loft^ — his 
 dress^ )ww long used^ and why he chose blacky — 
 his dexterity at curling ; — to hear Donkey^ s ex- 
 planation,, he appears m state at the window of his 
 loft in the Kirk ^^^'f alls over^ — the Newland^s Ass^ 
 under him^ makes a tiarrow escape, — he leaves his 
 vanity behind, and returns to his nest ; — by ivhom, 
 on Sundays, the nest is occupied, when Laird Gif- 
 fard is absent, — the blustering midden Cock, — 
 Partlet, and her chickens, ^—Chant icleer^ s beha- 
 viour tvhen hen-peckt, and threatened ;"-ivhy the 
 seat in the loft is called the Goldie^s Nest, — the 
 Nest described ; — reflections on the Laird^s acci- 
 dent, .-^-its effect upon h^'m, Donkey begins his 
 
 explanatory speech — iii the next Canto. 
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 At length, affected by his scream.^, 
 The Ass quits Piggy's ear 
 
 To quiet his yeljs, but little dreams 
 Of what had 'maist been near; 
 
35 
 
 For, all this while, the Boar, it seems, 
 
 Skreigh'd less frae pain than fear, 
 But, now rcliev'd, wi' fury teems. 
 
 For being affronted here 
 
 On sic a day ; 
 
 His pride the place of courage fill'd, 
 
 ! The danger too conceal'd, 
 
 (For, finding that he was not kill'd. 
 
 He cunningly had squeel'd. 
 And now resolv'd, though blood were spill'd. 
 
 No longer thus to yield, 
 Howe'er in moving pity skill'd 
 
 To use it as a shield 
 '^' 'Again that day ; 
 
 But though he knew, unlike Balaam's, 
 
 This Ass bore hirn a grudge, 
 A second thought bade him be calm 
 
 That others might be judge ; 
 So, ere he tried to win the palm, 
 
 Or from his station budge, 
 Frae red, turned white, as in a qualm, 
 
 I^ess keen for fame to drudge 
 
 And fight that day, 
 
 ' Cuddy I before I take redress, 
 
 ' To all your rage give vent ?' 
 Cried he ; for ' none as yet can guess 
 
 ' The weight of your complaint ; 
 ^ Mean while my fury Til repress, 
 
 ' To listen be content ; 
 * Though I have suffer'd much distress, 
 
 ' On bloody vengeance bent 
 
 I am this day !' 
 
 The Ass afraid, lest Ihe uro^g sow 
 
 He hy the lug had taen^ 
 Was fain to make up matters now, 
 
 And peace bring back again ; 
 
36 
 
 I 
 
 So, to avoid another strow. 
 
 He chose a lov/er strain, 
 And, out frae 'neath his birsy pow, 
 
 Began to sore complain. 
 
 And thas to brayx— . 
 
 The Kirk, wi' front the south toward, 
 
 Advancing on the Green, 
 Where some pray, weekly, to be heard, 
 
 Some dress'd out, to be seen. 
 Stands on the left, with its kirk-yard. 
 
 The tov/n and it between. 
 Walled round, the figured tombs to guard, 
 
 And, eastward, turns, a skreen. 
 
 The winds away ; 
 
 To tell the hours it has no clock, (t) 
 
 Though, for a clock, a steeple ; 
 A bell on Sundays calls the flock, 
 
 Both preacher bad, and people ; 
 Those sit below wi' little stock. 
 
 The poor, the lame, and cripple ; 
 Aloft, in lofts, the gentry cock. 
 
 Near two, each honoured triple, 
 
 A window lay; 
 
 Behind the pulpit, on the right, 
 
 There graced the Patron's one ; 
 Into Laird GiiFard's loft, as bright, 
 
 The other window shone. 
 The Elders' seat, which made him slight. 
 
 Though elder to Mass John, 
 That there, aloft, at window light, 
 
 His grandeur, with his crone, 
 
 He might display. 
 
 (i) See the Foems i n Dr Penneculck's Works. 
 
&7 
 
 The tinkle o'er, wi' clink and chime 
 
 By Bauldy Reesty rung, 
 Prayers done, a psalm in Sternhold's rhyme, 
 
 Is read out to be sung, 
 rhe tune, frae nose whin'd forth, slow time, 
 
 Is followed, a' gi'e tongue. 
 Laird Giifard frae his nest sublime. 
 
 Loud chants, like goldfinch young, 
 
 At's window gay t 
 
 His coat has buttons down its skirt, 
 
 With wide and open sleeves. 
 Whence spread long ruffles frae his shirty 
 
 As white as lilly leaves ; 
 His cravatf^ pure frse speck of dirt, 
 
 A button-hole receives ; 
 Clean lamb-woo' hose his garters girt ; 
 
 Of Lintounlike the Keeve 
 
 He seems that dar , 
 
 With wig, frae his ain gray meere's tail. 
 
 Thick busht, like whinny kow 
 Nipt round hy sheep, when grasses fail, 
 
 And heath is hid by snow ; 
 With shoes, each like a hurkled snail ; 
 
 With body like a crow ; 
 With bonnet black, too, old, but hale. 
 
 To suit an elder's pow 
 
 On Sabbath day : 
 
 This suit had saved him much expence. 
 
 In it he looked as well, 
 .\nd portly, as his Reverence 
 
 The Minister himsell I 
 Though twenty years had. passed sithence 
 
 He'd bought it every ell, 
 jOf black, from its convenience, 
 
 For church, or funeral bell, 
 
 Or holiday^ 
 D 
 
Or for a bonspel on the ice, (2) 
 
 Tse ha'd the auld new year. 
 And hurl his channel-stane fu' nice. 
 
 Whan great he would appear, 
 To draw, guard, strike, or wick, he tries. 
 
 Or through a port to steer. 
 Or roaring up the rink he flies, 
 
 The guarded tee to clear, 
 
 And win the da 
 
 'Gainst Pennecuick to win the day. 
 
 And show his strength and skeell, 
 When on the JMarfieid Loch to play (3) 
 
 Convened for a bonspeel, 
 He, like their herd, in grand array, 
 
 Their lead, or driver leal, 
 y ont the hog-score, straight in the wuy, 
 
 Warns, o' his flock, ilk chiel 
 
 His stane to 1 
 
 While sweeping weell the sliddery space 
 
 Before't, wi' besom keen. 
 He strains its wished-for road to trace 
 
 The hack and tee between. 
 Though with becoming pride of face 
 
 And dignity of mien, 
 Till o'er the broughs, the magic brace 
 
 Of circles, it is seen 
 
 By GifFard g 
 
 Who, by his sweeping, drew it on, 
 
 Up murmuring, to the tee, 
 And then beside it laid his stone, 
 
 In front, its guard to be ; 
 
 (2) Bonspel, and those tliat follow arc terms of art h'i 
 diversion of curling on the ice. 
 
 (3) The Marfield Loch is on the estate of Newhall, .! 
 ^-way between the villages of Liotoun «id Pennecuict 
 
 (3) 
 
S9 
 
 'hough once, these feats he'd scarcely done. 
 
 That filled his heart with glee, 
 ^han lampand Lowrie, frse the loan ; (4) 
 
 Gart baith, wi's driver, flee 
 
 Twa ell^ away !— - 
 
 vThilst th' Ass was clearing his rough throat. 
 
 The Kirk-wali at his back, 
 laird GiiFard to his nest had got 
 
 Above him in a crack -, 
 :s window open'd o'er the spot. 
 
 He lean'd out frae't in black, 
 I'er keen to licar, or show his coat, 
 
 O'er fell he wi' a whack 
 
 Fu' sair that day ; 
 
 Lt Cuddy's scoop-like-feet he lay. 
 
 Just ready to begin, 
 like corby craw, or hoody gray. 
 
 Scarce fledg'd, that frae within 
 t's nest had jostled been, in play, 
 
 And whirling wi' a spin, 
 Vi' skraighs and ilalHngs makes a fray. 
 
 To see and save it's skin, 
 
 He fell that day, 
 
 con after, wi' a divot's weight 
 
 Ta'en frae a mossy hag^ 
 lis bonnet, prone tae gravitate. 
 
 And on the wig tae wag, 
 lad left, wi' speed, the portly pate, 
 
 Unable there to lag, 
 md jeezy save inviolate. 
 
 The wind that, by its shag. 
 
 Now blew away. 
 
 (4) The loan oh the north-west side of the village of Pen- 
 ecu ick. 
 
 D2 
 
40 
 
 ^ Faith Grumpily,' cry'd Wull Younger's wife,. 
 
 The Lady o' Hog yards^ (5) 
 ' That chiel's maist duin for Donkey's life, 
 
 ' Which you could weel ha'e spared ! !'— 
 On GifFard soon the jokes grew rife j 
 
 111 had the hoody fared ; 
 Had he not sought, to keep frae strife^^ 
 
 Again, less hnrt than scared. 
 
 His uest that da; 
 
 The instant to his naked sconce. 
 
 That reverence to restore. 
 By dignity commanded once, 
 
 Through it, he had before. 
 Its jeezy got he could announce, 
 
 To crush the gibes he bore. 
 To make the wig silence each dunce, 
 
 And bonnet, as of yore, 
 
 Upon it laj 
 
 Each Sur«day sits within this nest, 
 
 When GifFard is not there, 
 A blust'ring midden Cock, it's guest^ 
 
 Shap'd like a dancing bear. 
 With his loud-cackling Partlet blest \ 
 
 O vain and lofty pair ! 
 Whan wi' their chickens round them, drest, 
 
 They show their feathers fair. 
 
 The Laird awaj 
 
 But Chanticleer, sae fu' o' pride 
 
 Upon these lucky days, 
 Wi's hen and 'toudies by his side. 
 
 Here only height displays, 
 
 (5) See the Fotmi in Dr Pennecuick's works. 
 
41 
 
 For, in his coop, or yard, the tide 
 
 Runs, 'gainst him, otherways, 
 There Partlet and her chickens ride, 
 
 Hen-peckt, he little says, 
 
 And must obey ; 
 
 If this fat, full-fed fugy tries 
 
 To peep frae 'neath their wings, 
 Or raise his crest, she at him flies, 
 
 And her howtoudies brings. 
 Who soon attack his face and eyes, 
 
 Till his thick noddle rings, 
 Till, as when men him threat, he flies, 
 
 Or she him davered dings 
 
 Wi'r roundelay ; 
 
 A goldie's nest it might ha'e been, 
 
 It was sae round and warm, 
 It was sae braw wi' window clean, 
 
 A' meant for guid, not harm ; 
 Thus mony a tempting birth is seen; 
 
 Should cause in us alarm, 
 Lest, to enjoy it over keen, 
 
 It prudence should disarm. 
 
 As on that day^ 
 
 Laird Giff'ard now had prudence bought, 
 
 And therefore priz'd it more ; 
 His pride fa'n afF, he only sought 
 
 To hear the Ass's lore ; 
 The sash he opened but a thought. 
 
 Not wide as heretofore. 
 His ear but to the opening brought, 
 
 His dress none could explore 
 
 Again that way : 
 
 D3 
 
42 
 
 Tlius peeping, frae his eover, sq^uat^ 
 
 The exercising done, 
 Here mony a bonnet, monj a hat 
 
 Was seen, in hopes of fun ; 
 The carles they lean'd, the carlines sat. 
 
 Ilk lad stood wi' his gun. 
 When, in the ring, to Grumphy fat, 
 
 The speech was thus begun, 
 
 Upon that day. 
 
43 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 To Justify himself, tlie Newland^s Ass states 
 Ms Five Misfortunes; mcludmg tJw services 
 of the staring Wright ; — Donkey^s new Alphabet, 
 primer, vocabtilaries, grammar, and diction^ 
 airy ; with many other affecting circumstances. — 
 
 Ginger-.bread Ben described^ the attention of 
 
 Mm, a/nd his Ass, to Cuddy^s speech ;— ///e tink^ 
 ler Fawes and Shawes described ; — the effects of 
 Donkey^s eloquence on Ben and his Ass^ and mi 
 the Gypsies, and their Cuddies ; — the Cuddies itn^ 
 derstand. Greek, and speak it ; — overcome by its 
 powers, they are fof^ced to give vent to their bro» 
 therly loves, a/iid to bray ! to the new Alphabet. — 
 All the Five Misfortunes chm^ged to the Boards 
 account. — The Ass worked into afmy by his re- 
 coliections, threatens to take immediate sati^ac^ 
 tion on Grumphy againy^m^and desires him td 
 prepare for it* 
 
 CANTO IV. 
 
 Five great misforunes bring me shame, 
 
 * Sour looks and malice breed j 
 In all your little selfish name 
 
 * Will ever take the lead : 
 Direct, or indirect, the same ; 
 
 * They all from you proceed— 
 
 'Tis Grumphy, friends, from whence they came^ 
 
 * For which I've scratch'd his head, 
 
 ' And lugs this day. 
 
44 
 
 * By him Pve, as my friend^ been trickt— »- 
 
 ' Yes, as I'll show, by him j 
 ' That while he kindness did affect 
 
 ' He thickening was his saim ; (x) 
 ' While I no treachery did suspect, 
 
 ' He fobbed my milk of cream, 
 ' My bread from the left butter lickt 
 
 ' When clean my kirn to skim 
 
 He'd made essay !— 
 
 ' The FIRST of these misfortunes hear ? 
 
 ' You know that yonder sty, 
 ' This uppish scraper holds so dear, 
 
 ' My titty built^ and I ; 
 ' My titty, who me kept in fear, 
 
 ' My tongue who us'd to tie, 
 
 * To whom, when at a loss, if near, 
 ' I often did apply 
 
 Ten times each day 
 
 ' When th' heritors had fixt my lot 
 ' The money to collect ; 
 
 * And I was told, on yonder spot 
 ' Yon building to erect ; 
 
 * The plan and estimates I got, 
 ' The work too kept correct, 
 
 ^ But never dreamed my school and cot 
 ^ A st7/^ pigs to protect, 
 
 Would be some day, 
 
 « Of yonder pig-yard too, in front, 
 ' The pretty Wicker-gate^ 
 
 * My tit and I consulted on't, 
 * And wrangled ear' and late, 
 
 (0 Saim J lard» 
 
45 
 
 Till she, resistless, hit iipon't, 
 ' On which 'twas hung in state. 
 To me an item yield she won't, 
 ' Soon after the debate 
 
 Took place that day : 
 
 The staring Wright cam' in a trice, 
 
 * Wi' his short bandy legs. 
 That looks sae draughty, and sae wise, 
 
 ' Wi's timber, nails, and pegs ; 
 White with his paint he whitened it nice, 
 
 ' And set it on its legs ; 
 Ne'er thinking that 'twas for a grice, 
 
 ' Tit geed him cheese and eggs. 
 
 And I his pay* 
 
 * Misfortune Second now came on— . 
 ' 'Twas when I left this place ; 
 
 * It makes me mad to think't upon ; 
 
 ' From it the rest I trace ; 
 
 * From yonder habitation, 
 
 ' This spot first saw my face, 
 
 * From friends and hame scarce was I gone, 
 
 ' When folio w'd me a-pace. 
 
 Dumps, and dismay ; 
 
 ^ This little selfish scrubbish Boar, 
 
 ' Soon got into my birth ; 
 ' Then he found out it yielded more 
 
 ^ Than that (which caus'd some mirth) 
 ' I had, exchang'd and left it for I 
 
 ' I'd chose, for plenty^ dearth ! 
 ' To dwell 'midst foes, shun'd friends in store I— 
 
 ' O ! had I in the Tairth (2) 
 
 Been drown'd Jthat day ! I 
 
 (2) The Tairth, or Tarth, is a muddy stream, that runs from 
 mearDunsyre, by Dolphington and Kirkurd, into the LytiC; at 
 Drochil Castle, about two miles below Newland's Kirk. See Dr 
 Tennecukk's nvofts. 
 
46 
 
 ^ Misfortune Third, wP greater shame, 
 
 * Since too from worldly greed, 
 
 ^ And from the second cause it came, 
 
 * J, griev'd, confess must need ; 
 
 * In both I've been so much to blame, 
 
 * They make my heart-strings bleed, 
 
 f I've hurt myself, lost friends and hame, 
 
 * And been an Ass, indeed. 
 
 E'er since that day 
 
 * Your Pur dies, and your AlsMnders^ (3) 
 
 * High names, of ancient date ; 
 
 * Your Yaunge?^s, though old portion^ers^ 
 
 * With the Hog-yards estate ; 
 
 * Your Gifardsj famed artificers, 
 
 * Your Cross proclaims how great j 
 
 * Had many she-parishioners 
 
 * Frse whilk tse choose a mate, 
 
 A breeder gay ^ 
 
 * But, elsewhere, up my loss to make^ 
 
 ' Still bent on temporal gain^ 
 
 * I left my tit a w^fe to take, 
 
 ' But never had a weane ! ! 
 
 * A maiden stale, for lucre's sake, 
 
 ' Such was my motive then, 
 ^ Got me, poor Ass, t-o drag her rake, 
 ' Yet fodder found I nane ! 
 
 Alas the day I 
 
 ' My beagles, hens, like kinnen^ het, (4) 
 
 ' As every couple should, 
 ^ Of duckUngs, and of chickenfi get, 
 
 ' Of each a healthy brood ; 
 
 (3) AUhinder, the usual way of prono'incWig the surname 
 Alexander. See Dr Pennecuick's ivorksy Of the Lyne. 
 
 (4) Beagles; kinnens ; Tweeddalc names for ducks; and 
 €onies5 or rabbits. 
 
i 
 
 47 
 
 The Lyne, or Taiilh, with gaud, or net, '(5) 
 
 ' When in a fishing mood 
 If tried, if to't with hands I set, 
 
 ' More fry than trouts, for food, 
 
 I always slay ; 
 
 Swifts, martins, sv/allows, yearly come, 
 
 ' And in my windows build. 
 Fly round for straws, and down, and loam, 
 
 ' A progeny to shield ; 
 
 To burrow, sparrotvs thither roam, 
 
 ' Fed by my oats a field. 
 And find my doufF, thatcht, dowie dome 
 
 ' A fruitful shelter yield, 
 
 Amang the strae ; 
 
 My cat such numbers often brings, 
 
 ' I drown her kits for ease. 
 Although my spence wilh cheepings rings ; 
 
 ' The mice, too, so increase : 
 Increase and multiply all things, 
 
 ' Beasts, birds, fish, insects, trees ; 
 To every pair an issue clings, 
 
 ' Whilst we, excepted, freeze, 
 
 A lonely twae.— . 
 
 ^ Misfortune Fourth I now shall state ; 
 
 ' Though barren as a mule, 
 t I out o' doors meet with like fate, 
 
 ' There too I've nane tae rule ; 
 
 For ass, nor sheep, or ear', or late, 
 
 * A' think me sic a fool. 
 Will enter either field, or gate, 
 
 * Or coltless house, or school. 
 
 To hear me bray : 
 
 (5) G^ud ; a fishing-rod. 
 
48 
 
 In Newlands school's deserted walls, 
 ' No scholars now appear, 
 Bare benches but attend my calls, 
 ' For none there sit, to hear ; 
 As when at home, it so befalls, 
 ' I've equal want of cheer, 
 There, answers but my wife my bawls, 
 ' And echo only here 
 
 Returns a bray 
 
 The spider careless round me weaves, 
 
 ' From seat to seat, his line. 
 Here no disturbance he receives 
 
 ' His labours to decline ; 
 The sombre bat its crevice leaves, 
 
 ' By nature asinine ; 
 
 Of flies, my lectures dull, bereave 
 
 * Even spiders, when they dine 
 
 Upon their prey.— 
 
 Misfortune Fifth has, at the last, 
 ' My fame knocked on the head: 
 None of my brays xvill hear the bla&t, 
 
 * None, printed, will them read ! 
 Tse use the idle hours I past, 
 
 ' That something might be made, 
 Our former Primer I new cast^ 
 ' And Rudiments new laid. 
 
 On th' A. B. C. 
 
 Wi' letters borrowed frae the Greek, 
 
 * Tae gi'e the tones mare true ; 
 
 That fo'k might write just as they speak, 
 
 * And readers read sse too ; 
 
 So that strong Alphabet, for weak, 
 ' I had compoonded new, 
 By adding usefu' eke tae eek, 
 
 * Till every soond that blew 
 
 It could convey ; 
 
49 
 
 Wi' it my Primer first I framed ; 
 
 ' My Rudi's, Grammar, next ; 
 
 My Word-buiks twae, things kittle named ; 
 
 ' And, which me maist perplext, 
 My Dictionary (should be) famed, 
 
 ' Crooned a' t' explain the text ; 
 
 By these, our former works beshamed, 
 
 ' Their authors 'tmust have vext 
 
 Tse see them sae ; 
 
 My Graeco-English Alphabet 
 ' Was wi' sic pooers endowed, 
 The soonds, as if tse music set, 
 ' The words correctly showed ; 
 It every doobt of ootterance met, 
 ' And certainty bestowed ; 
 Wrote cries of joy, fear, love, regret, 
 I * Exactly as they flowed. 
 
 And gimmers' b'J-iTs ! 
 
 Nay, if 'twere but a crummie's rowt ! 
 ^ The english call a low ! 
 'Twas wished tee write as 'twas roared out, 
 
 * And its true ootterance show. 
 Tee mark her accent, past a doubt, 
 
 * One letter wad do so, 
 
 Sae weell, hersell wad think some knowt 
 ' Cried mv ! tae let her know 
 
 Tae come away ; 
 
 I m?d I and b^d ! wi' a' my force, 
 ' By my ain grammar rules ; 
 i And miJd ! and biJd ! till I was hoarse, 
 ' As if tae win the dools ; 
 And n/d ! and br?d ! baith shrill and coarse, 
 ' Like horses, asses, mules ; 
 In Greek like theirs too, nothing worse ; 
 
 * But a' but left toom stools 
 
 Beneath my sway : 
 E 
 
50 
 
 ^ I to my Printer now applied 
 
 *• Tae give me his advice ; 
 ^ He said subscriptions should be tried ; 
 
 ' That I should advertise ; 
 ^ Your Books ?;? 2/^^ then be sold, he cried, 
 
 ' When iimst be paid the price : 
 ^ 1 did as bid ; on him relied ; 
 
 * But none e'er used ane twice ; 
 
 Some would not pay. (6)- 
 
 ' Ah me ! that e'er I Newlands saw ! 
 
 ' I've suffered loss and shame ! 
 ' My judgment sure was flov^^n awa, 
 
 ' My senses a' were lame, 
 * When clover-hay, I left for straw, 
 
 ^ And with't a courted name I 
 
 ' Frse sheep, an ass may wonder draw ; 
 
 * In Lintoun he's at hame, 
 
 Baith night and day.'.- 
 
 Braid, brozy, bleer-eed, blatheran' Ben, 
 
 Wi' tongue sae thick and round, 
 His weell-chew'd words scarce to its en' 
 
 Cou'd get, tas mak' a soimd, 
 Come frae Gouk's-hill, ginge-bread tee ven', (7) 
 
 Wi' braw blue bonnet crown'd, 
 Frae's cuddy (baith their lugs they len',) 
 
 List's gaping, gouk profound, 
 
 To Donkey's braj 
 
 (6) It Is a common practice for School master* to mal 
 profit bjr composing, printing, and selling new rudiments, v 
 cabularies, spelling-books, grammars, &c. bj subscription, ai 
 otlierwise. 
 
 (7) Goiik*s-lnll, Is the translation given of BciHu na Cuac 
 aigt the Gaelic, since changed to rennecuikt in the Statistic 
 Accojint of the pari!:h» 
 
51 
 
 wa tinkler-gangs, here ither met, 
 The randy Fawes, and Shawes, 
 
 sorn, reeve, steal, lift, and reset, 
 Mend pats, and buy some braws, 
 
 wa gangs frse th' west to fight, come het, (8) 
 
 Regardless of the laws, 
 Hien now their projects stand they let. 
 
 And list', wives, weans, and a' 
 
 Their cadgers gray ; 
 
 .t every sentence Cuddy clos'd, 
 
 Ben either peghed or groan'd I 
 ■ dull, or dreegh, the cuckoo doz'd,. 
 
 And snor'd, when others moan'd ; 
 s paragraphs the Boar expos'd. 
 
 For Donkey's rage atton'd, 
 ven tinklers* pans hfs anger gloz'd, 
 
 1 A friend's Misfortunes own'd 
 
 I Their cuddies' brays ! 
 
 /"hilst Scoto-English w^ords he spoke 
 
 In modem Saxon phrase, 
 hough fire oft frae his blinkers broke, 
 
 His voice and arms oft rase, 
 
 nd frae his mouth there issued smoke 
 
 His breast when in a blaze, 
 
 et, still their nerves sustained each stroke 
 
 In silence and amaze, 
 
 While listening wae ! 
 
 at, when, froe his new Alphabet, 
 With sympathetic sound, 
 is Saxon w4th Greek letters sweet 
 Made musical compound, 
 
 (8) See Dr Pennecuick*3 works, Description of Tnoeeddah; 
 id H< ylancrs Historical Surisey of the Gypsies^ 
 
 E 2 
 
52 
 
 And b?s ! and mjs ! their ears to treat. 
 
 In unison, they found, 
 His bi^s ! and mrs ! soon kindled heat ; 
 
 His brjs I soon answered round 
 
 Ilk cuddy's lay l 
 
 i Now, all these Five Misfortunes lie/ 
 
 He cried, ' at Grumphy's door -, 
 ' For, since he occupied yon sly, 
 
 * As you I've laid before, 
 
 * No luck attends whate'er I trv, 
 f But evils evermore 
 
 i Then, Piggy, if you do not fly, 
 
 * I'll give you drubs in store, 
 
 Without del: 
 
 * To cope with me do not pretend 
 
 ' I bear a charmed name (9). 
 
 ' 'Twere vain in you, friend to contend, 
 
 * Unless you bore the same ! 
 
 ' Prepare yourself, then, to defend 
 
 ' From falling dead^ or lam&? 
 ' Let those, to bear you hence, attend, 
 
 ^ To carry you whence you came ? 
 
 Prepare ? I s< 
 
 ' Your Lintoun Posts, or instantly, 
 
 ' To lay down and renounce, 
 ' With all the dues, so frequently, 
 
 ' Drew proiits to me once ; 
 ' And eke, too, ^0/?-— now turned a sty ; 
 
 ' Or guard your selfish sconce ; 
 ' Or to't, your sowj's shelter, fly ; 
 
 * Lest I your bacon trounce 
 
 Prepare ? I say !'- 
 
 • (9) See Canto II. and its note (^ ) 
 
53 
 
 hen, that he might have time enough 
 
 This, as advised, to do, 
 3eep, frae a creeshy pooch o' buff, 
 
 His muckle mull he drew 
 SVi' frightsome haste, and visage gruff; 
 
 Its lid, wi' look askew, 
 uoud rapt ! and plunged in yellow snuiF 
 
 A thoomb, and fingers two 
 
 At least, or mae ; 
 
 hus to restore the spirits lost 
 
 In's vehement harangue, 
 \nd to the fire he still could boast 
 
 To furnish fuel strong 
 3is spite and passion weell tae roast (lO) 
 
 At nasal ehimnies long, 
 iHe next, as fu's the horn almost, 
 
 Cramm'd baith their grates head long ; 
 I Syne, gied a bray ! 
 
 lA bray, enough, sae hoarse and loud, 
 
 T' have made a fury freeze ; 
 Then flang frae's thoomb, as far's he could. 
 
 Disdaining it to squeeze. 
 The surplus snuif amang the crowd, 
 
 Inferiour nebs to seize ; 
 When, lo ! a general shout ensued 
 
 A fate-proclaiming meeze 
 
 Of victory ! 
 
 From every virgin nostril owned 
 By snuff-unsullied nose 
 
 Upon his rights to leeward, found, 
 Inspiring as it rose ; 
 
 ? C^o) 
 
 i • Roasted in wrath and fire. 
 
 « He thus o'er sized with coagulate gore, 
 • Old Priam seeks/ 
 
 Shakespeare, 
 
54 
 
 Inspired, by doubly grateful sound, 
 
 The future to disclose, 
 Twice^ sneezings loud, convulsed, expound, 
 
 With their prophetick throes,' 
 
 New prospect gay ! (ij 
 
 (ii) Strada wrote a Treatise on Sne€zi?7g ; and many c 
 Tious relations arc given of the importance of a sneeze, eve 
 where, in both andent and modern times. Sir Thomas Brow 
 in his * Vulgar Errors,' observes, * Wc read in Godigni 
 that upon a sneeze of the Emperor of Monomotapa there pa 
 cd acclamations successively though the city.* Hence, doul 
 less, the attachment of Prince Eugene, the great Frederick 
 Prussia, Buonaparte, and other modern heroes, to snuff \ 
 means of whichv like ISicon, besides using it as a rcstorati^ 
 they could command cither an encouraging sneeze from the: 
 selves, or others, at any time, to give confidence to their s 
 diers, the earnest of victory. Had tobacco^ that precious plai 
 so valuable for diminishing so much the powers of two out 
 our five senses ; for weakening the appetite, and drying, a 
 stupifying the brain; been fortunately then known, its jwrd^i 
 provoking j7/f(^would have been still more prized by the pries 
 augurs, statesmen, and generals of antiquity, as an invalual 
 additional assistant, in the various religious and state tricks, 
 which they duped and directed their simple subjects, and ; 
 mies, to their views. A sneeze was doubly fortunate if rep€ 
 edi and from the rights 
 
55 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 The IJnloim Boar rum off for his sty ; — ore r- 
 ni sets iniller Samuel^ the black -fac^d Eicekss Tiip^ 
 •Landward Lilly ^ — he falls mfo her pool ^-^emp^ 
 ties auld Sawny^s smtff-horn on his croirn^ — he- 
 spatters all fiear liini^ — whii^ls round short Ked, — 
 makes him take the batts^ — his ejaculations^ the 
 Laird of Stainypath^ a barber ^chirurgeon^ being 
 absent^ the Dutch Doctor is called ^ — Doctor 
 Schaep^s harangue^ — he commends Ned for not 
 employing his rival Doctor Strut of Gouk^sJiillj 
 — describes him^ and his practice in such cases ; 
 m^the operation performed on Ned^^^to save him- 
 self he uncovers Sally Sma\ — she seizes her mo- 
 ther the Jhowdy^s cloak to skreen herself with ^ — sh& 
 almost stra/ngles her mother^ FJspa^ the howdy ^-^^ 
 Effy Jostles Wedder-Jock into Ned^s par itch ^ mid 
 laying hold of cripple Beanos bar^e head^ draws it 
 opposite to Ned'^s mouth ivhile discharging the con- 
 tents of his stomach ; Land^ai^d Lilly ^ left alone^ 
 retires from the Green to the well in the Town^ to 
 
 refill her stoups^ lays the dust on her road^ — - 
 
 is followed^ like a wafering'Cart^ by Jock^ Bean^ 
 Effy^i and Sally S7na\ who withdraw to get them^ 
 selves cleaned and clad '."'Neddy revives ^"-the marks 
 of his recovery^ — he rejoices at their departure^ 
 m^grmvs hungry^ — laments the loss of hisparitch^— 
 invites his brother Tawty to go Iwme with hiin^ 
 — proposes for the skones and par itch ^ to substi- 
 tute short-bread a7id cabbagC'-brotlij-^ offers Taw- 
 ,'ty a share of the feast^ — a long discourse on shorts 
 
56 
 
 hread^'^'Jiis goose-necked billy accepts of his invi^ 
 fation^ and gives his reasons for so doings — the 
 singular manner in which he contrives^ at once, 
 to give vent and utterance to the satisfaction hi 
 felt at the brotherly scheme^ to make room foi 
 Ned^s cheer^ and to congratulate him on his re- 
 
 stored health a7ul appetite Grmnphy is pursued^ 
 
 like a strayed sheep^ by people and dogs. 
 
 CANTO V. 
 
 The Boar thus warned by ear and eye, 
 
 And by his former fate, 
 Thought to himself 'twere best to fly 
 
 Before it was too late ; 
 So, wheeling round toward his sty, 
 
 Where Sowy sat in state, 
 'Twixt Samuel's legs he darted, sly, 
 
 And made him tak' a seat 
 
 In mire and clay ; 
 
 Lang Land'ard Lilly lang had stood, 
 
 'Tween her twa stoups, to hear ; 
 Ne'er dreaming that her water would 
 
 Through wood the worse o' wear, 
 Though ditted at the well, elude 
 
 The plugs, and through it steer, 
 The tawpy round had raised a flood. 
 
 Whilst govan' at his ear, 
 
 Of melted day ; 
 
 Within this slippery slough she'd made, 
 
 That stack to it like gum, 
 Poor Samuel, squash, asteep was laid, 
 
 Straight backward on his bum. 
 
67 
 
 By Grumphy's motion retrograde ^ 
 ^ And up his ills to sum, 
 ^ His skirts, in's haste, the Boar afraid 
 He'd, falling, on him come, 
 
 Had torn away ! 
 
 The soople anes for him made room. 
 
 And gat ayont his reach ; 
 WV him nane wish'd to stick or swoom. 
 
 Or there tse seat his breech ; 
 But, as he fell, it was his doom. 
 
 Whan takan' o' a sneesh, 
 Auld Sawny's horn on's croon tae toom. 
 
 Send jawped clais, tae bleach, 
 
 Tae th' bum next day y 
 
 'Maist held a pound auld Sawny'5 mill, 
 
 Ta'en frae the biggest ram 
 ' Was e'er bred on a Tweeddale hill, 
 
 Or to its market cam' ; 
 Twa chains were fixed to it, wi' skill, 
 
 Hold-fasts for sluice and dam, 
 A lid, and spoon like gray-goose quill ; 
 
 'Twas fu' as it could cram. 
 
 For th' Market-day : 
 
 Short in-kneed Ned, wi' clock-work-face, 
 
 That turns frae side to side. 
 Though manfully he keeps his place 
 
 Like stoup wi' bottom wide. 
 He, wi' a whirl, gar'd circle trace 
 
 And set his legs astride, 
 As sick's a leech, in woefu' case 
 
 Wi' th' wap, his luifs fast guide 
 
 To's kyte that day ;: 
 
 •* Describe !— describe ! — Icogle ! — I'll coup I(i) 
 ( I ) Describe !— describe !— for Prescribe !-— prescribe I— 
 
58 
 
 ^ I've ta'en tfie batts ! !' he cries j 
 ' O' cawller whisky gi'e's a soup , 
 
 ' Or else poor Neddy dies ! 
 ' My heart will free my mou' soon loup ! 
 
 * My paritch soon will rise ! 
 ' Gae bring the Doctor ? or a' houp, 
 
 ' Will vanish frae my eyes— 
 
 I'm ga-an away ! ! 
 
 * Whar ! whar's the Laird o' Stainypath ? 
 
 ' Our barber-cheer-for-john, 
 ' Wi's bason, and his lancets baith, 
 
 ' Tae bluid me tae the bone, 
 ^ Tae bring me frae the vale o' death, 
 
 * Back, up tae Cockmylone ? — (2) 
 
 * Get him, or Schaep, while I ha'e breath ? — 
 
 * Mak' haste, or I am gone ! — 
 
 Get Schcep^ I say ? 
 
 Scarce Ned had gi'en the dread command. 
 
 Whilst bowels for him yirn. 
 And his ain guts, between each hand, 
 
 Was rumblkn' like a kirn, 
 As, hurklan' down, he scarce cou'd stand, 
 
 Wi' dool that gard him girn. 
 Whan quick the leech arriv'd, and fand 
 
 Him a', baith skin and birn, (3) 
 
 And thus did say 
 
 ' Mynheer vriend Ned, you be vise sheep 
 
 * Vor Schaep to zend, veii ill ; 
 
 (a) Stainypath; north from LIntoun, then the property 
 James Cleland, barber-chirurgecn. See Dr Pcnneculck*s works 
 Of the Lyne. — Cockmylane ; north-east from Lintoun, betweej 
 and Carlops. 
 
 (3) As is done by a butcher to judge of a sheep ; by feelinj 
 its fatness under the skin, and examining the burn or mark 
 See King JaraeSj and Allan Ramsay's Christ's Kirk on the Green 
 Game III. 
 
59 
 
 On all zour points de vat's zo deep, (4) 
 ' Iv Strut ov de Gouk-hill 
 Ver here, zuch mooton vou'd not zleep 
 ' More vone night, vid his vill : 
 Zou be ver vise vrom Strut to keep ; 
 ' Ven vleec'd, he vou'd zou kill ; 
 
 Den gut ; ven vlay' 1 
 
 Dat Strut be impudence ; be quack ; 
 
 * 'Av conscience none at all ; 
 T'rough vide gash, vrom navell to back, 
 ' At vonce, bot blood, goot, gall. 
 
 He vou'd let out, in a ver crack ! 
 ' De in-meat quite, great, small. 
 Till he had drawn, he'd hew, he'd hack ; 
 ' Den eat zou, head, loin, spall. 
 
 Up, vor his pay I 
 
 He be vone ov Varaoh's lean kine, 
 
 Devour vat sheep like zou; 
 He 'tink 'imzelf fort beau, ver vine, 
 ' Beard, band, doublet, hose, shoe ; 
 Vool ! vid de vair, too, he vou'd shine, 
 
 T'ough steeff, t'ough dun, gouk too I 
 T'ough veil vleec'd, vlay'd, he'd dine 
 ' On zour vat j den cookoo ! 
 
 Zing loud, more gay ! 
 
 He not'ing do but ride, here, dere, 
 ' To vind de open door, 
 Zitting as steeff as straight pokere, 
 
 * As if de bom vere sore 
 
 Vid de freection — zou call it sare 
 
 * And being ver much excore, 
 T'ough he ty to 'sume de grande air, 
 ' Vile he vou'd like to roar. 
 
 Vile trot's bom vlay : 
 
 (4) The fatting points of a sheep to feel and judge by, are 
 :U known to every butcher. 
 
60 
 
 ^ Me zdory vine tell zou ov Strut ; 
 
 * Ov vone de adder bit, 
 
 ' In de moor vest : De man he put 
 ' On Newlands' Ass to zit — 
 
 * Hee ! O, la ! me burst my ver gut ! 
 ' Zides too ! vid mirt' at it I — 
 
 * Vid vace to tail, de occiput 
 
 ' Too's lugs ; den, on de kit, 
 
 Dus, made him play 
 
 t-Vor zo prescribe, zaid he, Van Pier 
 ~ ^ Vor de scorpion t'ing 
 ^ Dat av de long tail in de rear, 
 
 ' Vid, at de point, de sting ; 
 ^ And vor de tar ant,' ven can hear, 
 
 * Dey alway play de spring ; 
 
 ^ Iv snake av long queue, sting, ver clear 
 
 * Dat boV cures must health bring : 
 
 Vool! Gowk I Hce-h£el (5 
 
 * By gar ! zou no' be var gone zet ! 
 ' Zour meat been over rich ; 
 
 * Ov it var much, too mooch zou've eat ; 
 
 * Dat's brought zou to dis pitch ; 
 
 * Zou vont be veil till out it gti ; 
 
 * Tell Doctor Schaep, den, vich 
 
 ' Vill zou most please, egress to let, 
 ' Or by de mout', or breech, 
 
 My patient, pray \ 
 
 The howdy had the Doctor brought, (e) 
 And hearing his harangue, 
 
 (5) « What foci would believe that antidote delivered b 
 Pierius against the sting of a scorpion ? to sit upon an ass, witl 
 one's face towards his tail.' BrGwn*s Vulgar Errors,'" 
 Tlie bite of a tarantula is said to be cured by musU, 
 
 (6) Howdy ; the mid-wife. 
 
61 
 
 Oi" Ned resolv'd, it pit J thought 
 
 He pain should bear sas lang ; 
 So, to his doup her lit she brought. 
 
 An' kicked wi' sic a bang, 
 Out frae his mouth, through-ither v/roughl, 
 
 Beer, skones, milk, par itch sprang 
 
 An ell away ! ! I 
 
 Her haveral daughter, Sally Sma', 
 
 Stood near howd EfFj's side ; 
 To her poor Neddy, like to fa', 
 
 Rax'd out a hand sae wide, 
 Glad to get lia'd 6' ought at a', 
 
 Though mischief should betide, 
 It seiz'd her coats wi' sic a draw, 
 
 Out o'er her hips tliey slide. 
 
 And strings give way ^ 
 
 As slavering Sally's sark was short, 
 
 And ragged sair an' riven. 
 In sic a strait, she'd naething for't. 
 
 Whan to her sliift thus driven, 
 Tae hide her nakedness frae sport, 
 
 But, to make matters even. 
 To grasp her mither's cloak, retort, 
 
 For kick to Neddy given, 
 
 Gar'd him do sa; : 
 
 It strait was round the hov» dy's throat, 
 V Wi' strong blue nittens tied, 
 That wadna' yield a single jot. 
 
 Though Sally stoutly tried 
 To see, though short, if 't cou'd be got, 
 k That, round her waist applied, 
 *It might befriend her hapless lot, 
 ' And half her hurdles hide 
 
 Frae open day* 
 
 . Howd EfFy jostles, haul'd by the hawss, 
 
 F 
 
62 
 
 Saft Jock, that Bean stood by ; 
 Jock, 'mang Ned's paritch slides, and fa's, 
 
 Whilst Ned vras letting fly ; 
 As frse behind bare Sally draws, 
 
 Wi' blear'd thread-een and sly, 
 Bean, wi' her scout-mouth, gi'es gaffaws, 
 
 As Ned heaves, at Jocks cry. 
 
 Whilst low he lay 
 
 But Efty, steeve tae keep her place, 
 
 Not seeing Sally's need. 
 Or thinking of her daughter's case, 
 
 O' cripple Bean's bare head 
 Got sic a claught, it brought her face, 
 
 Wi' less guid-will than speed, 
 O' Ned's discharge within the race, 
 
 As, the last burst he geed. 
 
 When full in play 
 
 Upon her sconce wi' sic a dash 
 
 The nauseous mixture fell, 
 Wi' jaws upon the spraivling hash, 
 
 *Maist choak'd wi' th' taste and smell, 
 Already, o' the paritch, squash, 
 
 He'd fa'n on wi' a yell, 
 T)reigh Jock's, as weell as Beany 's pasli, 
 
 It showr'd and pour'd pell-mell 
 
 Upon, hcr's frae.— . 
 
 His agonies abated now, 
 
 Ned wi' his haggise toom, 
 Sail's stringless coats, as fast's he dow, 
 
 Geed back, and got a gloom ; 
 Her mither quitting Beany's pow. 
 
 Her cloak supplied their room ; 
 Jock aff the ground began to row ; 
 
 Cries Bean, ' in shairn may soom 
 
 Those here that stay 1 
 
63 
 
 Lang Lilly, too, was left her lane, 
 
 On miller Samuel's fa' ; 
 The water frae her stoups 'maist ganc ; 
 
 So, to the well to draw. 
 And fill anew, she went, fu' fain^ 
 
 When she the leakage saw ; 
 Along her road there stoor was nane. 
 
 Her stoups still laid it a', 
 
 Like watering dray 5 
 
 Behind her, doofart, wather Jock, 
 
 Croonan', wi' cripple Bean ; 
 The Howdy, who her blue cowl'd cloak 
 
 Had to her daughter gi'en ; 
 And Sally Sma' wi' mooted smock ; 
 
 Gaed oxteran' frae the green : 
 O's batts delivered, crouse tae cock, 
 
 Ned's face, like a machine, 
 
 Began to play ^ 
 
 Gleg lookan' now, frx side to side, 
 
 Grown lively as a lark, 
 Wi' gab, and een, baitli gamerel wide,. 
 
 And wi' a colly's bark. 
 He yelpt, * Gae 'ivay your sells and hide !* 
 
 As sharp-set as a shark, 
 ' For my lost paritch you I chide j 
 
 t I dinna lo'e sic wark 5 
 
 Ye're weell away ! 
 
 * May sic a hirsel ne'er be seen 
 
 - On our Thrid-Market-day, 
 ' Sae rotten, woo'less, lang, and lean, 
 
 ' Sae sturdied, auld, and gray, 
 ' Or on our westling heights, or Green, 
 
 ' Again: — they're weel away ! — 
 ^ Sae pocked Jock, and crippled Bean, 
 
 ' Tent ye ! nor ba-a, nor gae. 
 
 Can they ! Hae-hcC ] 
 F 2 
 
64 
 
 ^ Like mony a ane in Lintoun town 
 
 ' Wi' feent a snood or curtch, 
 5 Nor maid nor wife mark's on a crown, (7) 
 
 * Whan or at fair or church, 
 
 * Amang them a' .' — Limmers and loon I — 
 ' They've left me in the lurch 
 
 f They think ; but wha's best aft' we'll soon 
 
 * See, whan t' our howfs we murch, 
 
 'Ore lang ! Has-hiie !' 
 
 - Come Tawty then? wi' me gae hame, 
 
 ' 'Ore hunger mak's me hyt ? 
 ^ Our cabbage-kail will swali my wame, (8) 
 
 ' And mak' my spirit light ; 
 
 • Frse Embrogh, to it, short-bread came, 
 
 ' Baked there by curious wight, 
 I lo'e't sae strange, that, to my shame, 
 ' I eat it whiles at night 5 
 
 A share ye'll ha'c j 
 
 The meikler, that nor wife nor weane, 
 
 ' Frae wadlock's lock or noose. 
 Is tse be fund at Cockmylane 
 
 ' Upon its know-head crouse ; 
 Though aft, whan sleepless sare I grane, 
 
 * Frss weary an' for a spouse, 
 I own, for comfort, I am fain 
 
 * O't, whiles, tse tak' the use, 
 
 Tse mak' me gay : 
 
 (7) The snood, and the curtch were reckoned badges of ho- 
 nour ; and none but virgins, and married women were allow- 
 ed to wear, the former the snood, and the latter the cunch. 
 
 (8) Broth, by the peasantry is named kail, from its usually 
 contamtng so much of that vegetable. When, instead of kale 
 or coleworts, cabbage is used, it is called cabbage-kale, and is 
 reckoned, a better and more swelling food. 
 
65 
 
 The first I bought, frae this same chap, 
 
 ' Was o'ened and buttered weell^ 
 Wi' walth o' car vies on its tap, 
 
 ^ And bits o' orange-peel ; 
 To't, sjne, I kale coft in a cap, 
 
 ' P' grotts, wi' lumps o' veal ; (9) 
 Abd bate and supt, till duin the sap ; 
 
 ^ Because it wb.s genteel, 
 
 I lo'ed it.sse.* 
 
 Says Tawty, ' I ne'er heard before 
 
 * O' short-bread eaten to kale ; (lO) 
 But, if than cakes it cost you more, (ll) 
 
 * T' agree they canna' fail; 
 Your kyte was surely very sore ; 
 ' They'll help to keep it hale ; 
 Since, in your am'ry, still there's store, 
 
 ' In time, lest aught grows stale, 
 
 Let's haste away? 
 
 ^ A bread see rich, genteel, and dear, 
 
 ^ Wi' ony thing should eat ; 
 ' Wi' paritch, brochen, broze, or beer, (12) 
 
 ' Wi' flesh wi' wings or feet ; 
 ' To sowens, or sheep-head kail, 'tis clear, (l3) 
 
 ' 'Tmust add a relish sweet ! ' 
 
 (9) Grott?, OP oats with ths husks milled oIF, ^tid used hy 
 cottagers in broth, instead of i^Yley, to thicken and swell the 
 mash, would be rendered siiil more stuffing, and ir.ucilaginous, 
 hj the viscosity of the veal, increased by the richness of the 
 short bread. 
 
 (10) Short -bread, is a fine whcaten unleavened and soft |)read 
 baked, with butter, &c into rich cakes, for ladies chiefly, at 
 tea, along with jellies and n-.armilades. 
 
 (ii) By cakes, as the kind commonly used, are always meant 
 tho5e of oatmeal. 
 
 (12) Brochen is a kind of water-griiel, of oa*-meal, butter, 
 and honey. 
 
 (13) Sowens; flummery, or oatmeal sowered amongst wa- 
 ter, for some time, then boiled to a consistenc), and eaten witli 
 milk o>- butter ^'ee Dr F'e u.ecuick^ works, The De.scrintiM 
 of TiVceUUale, Oi It? Inhsbttunts,— Not'>-. . "^ ' 
 
66 
 
 Both to make room for Neddy's cheer, 
 And Ned's recovery greet 
 
 In his own way, 
 
 His lang-necked billy, wi' a head 
 
 Like button ill sew'd on, ' 
 
 Then rifted, gapean', wi' a screed, 
 
 Tae see his cholic gone.— 
 Ky rout, lambs bleat, the dees te-heed ! (l4) 
 
 The herds upon the loan, 
 As if a sheep had fled, wi' speed, 
 
 At Grumphy tykes hound on (15) 
 
 Wi' loud huzza f 
 
 (14) Dees; daiiy-maid** 
 C«5) '^^^ii dog'* 
 
67 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 Grumpily stiU pursued hy the moh ^^--^the Inint 
 
 described^ his pursuers compared to St Hu^ 
 
 berfs famous black breed of BoarJiounds^ once 
 so dreadedy and all of that colour since j by witches ^ 
 
 when chased in disguise : at length, free of the 
 
 crowds he hurries over the holm, — arrives at th<? 
 Lyne ^ — as he crosses^ trembling Tarn instigates 
 Geordyy a musketeer y to fireathiiUy-^'terrificdy he 
 falls into a hole in the water, — the learned Wab^ 
 
 ster described y he reproves jeer an'' Geordy ; 
 
 '^the Boar ga/ins his sty^ and takes refuge in 
 
 bed :^^^His wife hastens to his bedside, ima^ 
 
 gines she has lost her m alCy her lamentations 
 
 on his supposed illness, and death, — his caura^ 
 geous behaviour at the mentioii of death s — a dia^ 
 
 logue between him and Sowy, after the Ass^s 
 
 demise, he expects^ some day^ to see his head hroiK 
 ed on a fit e, and his ghost co7ijured tip, in the 
 ma/nner of the ancient Greeks, by killing fm^ 
 that purpose a black sheep, to answer for thus 
 
 conspiring his exit on Lintoun Green^ Soun/ 
 
 comforts atid consoles him in bed, — -persucides 
 him to sleep off his mortifications, — ordef^s the 
 
 family, -> — puts the pigs to rest, lies doun be^ 
 
 side him i^^^^silence reigns in the sty. 
 
 CANTO VL 
 
 Ilk chiel, wi' check'd gray worsted plaid^ 
 
 That jogg'd on timmer clogs, 
 That underneath blue bonnet gaed^ < 
 
 Or had a pair o' brogs, 
 
68 
 
 GombuiM, halloo'd ! and efforts made, 
 Wi' Weanes, sticks, stanes, and dogs, 
 
 To drive, staik staring mad, they said, 
 ' The boar fi ae 'mang their hogs,' 
 
 Oft in his way ; 
 
 Their whups some cowpers at him smack, 
 
 As he gaed bmndering bye ; 
 Some wi' their ribs 'maist like tae crack. 
 
 As botching, in a fry, 
 Arid round's a bool baith breast and back, 
 
 He row'd toward his sty, 
 Wi' hard press'd sides, confused his track, 
 
 Gaffawing, ^ Goosy !' — cry ! 
 
 He'll win the day I' 
 
 The carles, Goosy ! Goosy ! groan'd ; (l) 
 
 The grannies Goosy ! grane ; 
 Loud Goosies ! every where resound, 
 
 Frae hizzy, hind, or weane ; 
 Till Grumphy 'maist wi' Goosies drown'd. 
 
 Along the grassy plain. 
 Could scarce, through jeers and insults round, 
 
 And stops, wi' might and main, 
 
 Make any way ^ 
 
 The blackest hounds St Hubert bred, 
 
 To hunt the larded boar, 
 Ne'er half so keen in pursuit sped, 
 
 !N'or could torment him more, 
 Though by St Hubert's self were led 
 
 Of his best blood a score, 
 Than those from whom now Porky fled, 
 
 That raised such an uproar 
 
 Him to dismay : 
 
 (i) Goo^y! ihe cvy to call in pigs. 
 
69 
 
 le o^er the howm though hobbled fast. 
 
 Whan frae the crowd he got, 
 Vnd tse the water cam' at last. 
 
 Without a brig or boat ; ' 
 
 fust as a pool he squattered past 
 
 A hempy fir'd a shot ; 
 'n to the hole bumbaz'd he squash'd. 
 
 Like stane into a pot, 
 
 Wi' fright, that day !-.^ 
 
 at-witted, restless, trembling Tarn, 
 
 The noisy auctioneer, 
 \s fu' o' cranks as he cou'd cram. 
 
 Had, frae the jail, drawn near ; 
 ntent to see how Porky swam, 
 
 In jeeran' Geordy's ear, 
 ]^lose tae the pool as piggy cam% 
 
 He'd whispered, ' on him bear ! 
 
 And fire away l^ 
 
 Dast like the first o' his ain craft. 
 
 The spider, famed for webs. 
 For craft in crossing warp wi' waft. 
 
 For stretching of his abbs, 
 Sublime, like ane o' wits bereft. 
 
 Whose fancy flows and ebbs, 
 A weaver lang, on Geordy's left. 
 
 Forgot his schemes and scabs, 
 
 At his horse-play ^ 
 
 His legs v/ere like twa barrow-trams, 
 
 As hard and stifi* as steel, 
 0£ equal thickness at the hams 
 
 And downward to the heel ; 
 His sides a parallelogram, 
 
 Kest^shap'd, with breast and keel. 
 His poll propt, fiU'd with brains, where swam 
 
 Whims whirled like barrow-wheel. 
 
 Where maggots stray -, 
 
70 
 
 This wabster lean, sae skill'd in books, 
 
 Sae heegh abuin them a', 
 \Vi* mouth like ane that lemon sooks. 
 
 And een that ingans draw, 
 Wi' razor-face, and lengthened looks, 
 
 Bade Geordj ' 'ware the law !' 
 Ne'er doubting but his musket took 
 
 Its aim wi' leaden ba'. 
 
 The Boar to slay 
 
 But soon, like bladder fu' o' oil, 
 
 The gasping pig appear'd ; 
 And, after a sair feght and toil. 
 
 O'er to his sty he steer'd, 
 Where, thus surmounted this turmoil, 
 
 Though drenched, less hurt than fear'd^ 
 He landed safe, in piteous broil, 
 
 And to his pallet sheer'd, 
 
 To doze't av 
 
 As sad, as sulky, and as sour. 
 
 As fu' o' shame, and spleen. 
 And as ill-natured, as a boar 
 
 Harassed wi' beelan' een, 
 Through acrid humours, blear, and core. 
 
 That scarcely can be seen. 
 That seeks to litter find in store. 
 
 Him from himself to skreen, 
 
 'Midst sleep, in strae 
 
 He now had got within his bed. 
 
 And hung his sark ta? dry. 
 In sheets, for shirt, and night-cap clud, 
 
 And snug began to ly. 
 When Sowy, who suspicions had. 
 
 Who heard the shot and cry, 
 That something had befallen him bad. 
 
 And saw all wet the sty, 
 
 :Stood where he I 
 
71 
 
 "ithin the blankets buried deep. 
 No Grumphy could appear ; 
 hough rais'd up, next, the clai's to peep. 
 She could no grunting hear ; 
 t last, she found, beneath the heap, 
 All motionless, her dear, 
 ^hen, loud, she sore began to weep. 
 Her smock-fac'd head to tear. 
 
 And thus to say 5 
 
 My Pork ! — Ah ! Guid ha'e care o' me ! — 
 
 ' Ohon ! — My heart-strings bleed !-— 
 My Peter dying ! Oh anee I — 
 
 ' If not already dead ! ! !'— 
 [ere, Porky poking up, to see 
 
 To what such bodings lead, 
 ks if from apprehension free, 
 
 Exclaim'd, ' I dead I — indeed ! — 
 
 Not yet, I pray! !'— 
 
 Though still, but his Kilmarnock-cowl 
 
 Was seen above the clothes, 
 Vs rough and round as head of owl. 
 
 With, in't, alike globose. 
 The thick, and hairless jobber-nowl, 
 
 Down to the pufty nose. 
 Thus manfully, twixt squeak and howl, 
 
 From pillow pulicose. 
 
 He gruntled gay ; 
 
 Indeed ! — You here ? — Not to that pass 
 
 * I, Sowy, yet have got j — 
 Though to be sure the Newlands' Ass, 
 ' And jeeran' Geordy's shot, 
 
 'Maist brought me to*t, my dear, alas ! 
 
 * As wading past the pot. 
 Mid-water, ere I reached the grass, 
 
 ' The crowd pursuing ho^, 
 
 I fled this way ; 
 
72 
 
 * But, T had too much love for you, 
 ' And our sweet piggies all, 
 
 ^ My darling, broody, faithful soo, 
 
 ' And litter, great, and small, 
 ' To leave old friends, for strangers new, 
 
 ' To gratify my gall, 
 
 * Out of our Lyne, Styx to go to, 
 ' On Charon's boat to call. 
 
 For passage pa] 
 
 '^ I wonder, even in Moses^ day — 
 
 ' In Genesis 'tis found—- 
 ^ How, Goshen to, herds, sent away 
 
 * To Egypt's outward bound, 
 ' Under Egyptian hatred lay, 
 
 ' When, still, their Pharaoh round 
 
 ' Their Ass through deeps they chase, to slaj 
 
 * In hosts !— Had, too, been drowned, 
 
 Both he, and the^ 
 
 * By Ki(pc6Xovo^»T&ioe, 
 
 * When Donkey shall be dead, 
 ' We'll see him back yet pay a', 
 
 When, on the coals, his head 
 ' Is broiling, Nix,^6f^oivreisc 
 
 ^ Will bring him up with speed 
 
 * To, by a prosopopeia, 
 
 ' His own name call, and dread 
 
 Its jaws some da; 
 
 < Or the fell chatterings of its teeth, 
 ' When its own ghost is seen 
 Up-conjured from the earth beneath, 
 
 * By our black sheep, I ween, (2) 
 
 « 
 
 ^2) See Potter's Grecian Antiquities. Dmfiatiottf^c, 
 
73 
 
 And asks the head, with faltering breath, 
 
 Through the lugs, lang, and lean, 
 If Cuddy e'er conspired the death 
 
 * Of me, on Lintoun Green, 
 
 This Market-Day ? 
 
 I heard you goosy ! goosy ! cry ; 
 
 My Goosy ! are you here ? 
 While, under blankets buried, I 
 
 Lay paralyz'd wi' fear : 
 Oft, oft, I struggled to reply ; 
 
 * Before you to appear ; 
 
 When Geordy's gun flash'd in my eye ! 
 Waves fiU'd again my ear I 
 
 As hid I lay.'-,^ 
 
 If this is all,' sighs she, * keep still 
 ' Until the Ass is gone ? 
 O' sleep you'll then have got your fill, 
 ' And we'll be let alone: 
 Daft Donkey's spite an ox would kill, 
 
 Though stubborn as a stone : 
 Till then, beside you, lie I will ; 
 ' And answer sab I for groan 1 
 
 By night and day,'-«« 
 
 Indeed ! my Dear ! — but ere you come,' 
 Says Porky, ' be so kind 
 As wash my clai's, and search what sum 
 
 * You in my breeks can find ? 
 I'll think Vm in Elysium, 
 
 Gif a' is left behind : 
 They'll lang be dry, as head of drum, 
 Or by the fire, or wind. 
 
 Ere they're away.'— — ^ 
 
 To-morrow, then keep safe at hame, 
 And gi'e the weanes the play ? 
 
 G 
 
74, 
 
 * You'll thus/ she adds, * get o'er the shame, 
 ^ And they li but lose a day ; 
 
 ^ While, all, my Pork, this ass to tame, 
 
 * And, yet to gar him bray, 
 
 ^ For Pt7inecuicL\ our leech supreme ; 
 ' For *' mar-the-marriage Haj/^ (3) 
 
 O'er you to pray 
 
 ^ For Carlops^ on his milk-white steed, 
 ' The terror o' the Shawes ; 
 
 * For Coldcoaf^ o' their faes the dread, 
 
 * The black egy pli an Fawes ; (4) 
 
 * For Spzttal^ wV his pawky head, (5) 
 
 * The salt and butter Irnvs 
 
 ^ That can to us explain and read ; 
 ^ For your lang leather taus ; . 
 
 My self I'll gae 
 
 ^ Ohon !■ — wl' a' these helps my Dear, 
 ' We'll surely get redress, 
 
 * Though maims, nor deadly wounds appear 
 
 * About you, as I guess, 
 
 * If, but for the affront, and fear, 
 
 * The danger, and distress, 
 
 ^ la sic a plight, made you rin here, 
 
 * And, crooked as an S, 
 
 Lie hurklan' sae !'- 
 
 (3) See in Dr Penneculck's works, the Poem on * The Moc 
 Jvlarriage of Cantswalls* 
 
 (4) See Dr Pcnnecuick*s works. Jonas Haviilton of Coli 
 coat, now Macblehill. 
 
 (5) Burjiet of Carlops ; and Osnvald of the Spitals pf Ne\ 
 Hall, who was to explain the assault and battery lawife to th 
 affectionate wife. See Dr Pennecuick's works. 
 
 The tivo following lines are still repeated, as having bee 
 dmmitted in Dr Pennecuick's Fanegyrick ; — 
 
 * Stout Carlops strode ^ gallant milk-white steed, 
 
 * His neighbour, Spittal, near, with pawky head.* 
 
 See also as to Burnet of Carlops, Maclaurin's Crimittal Cast 
 No. 23, January 171 1. 
 
75 
 
 Thus Grumphy's wife to him replied ;-— 
 
 He, taking her advice^ 
 Crept down, and, turning on his side, 
 
 Was covered in a trice. 
 
 iCind Sowy to the clai's applied ; 
 
 She spread them out fu' nice. 
 That, ere they raise, they might be dried ; — 
 
 Then, bedding a' the grice^ 
 
 Down by him lay# 
 
76 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 The Neivhnds* Ass rejoices cii the Linton 
 
 Boa/r^s defeat and Jlfght Miller Samnel, ti 
 
 eweless tup^ gets upy — his different occupation 
 — his great usefulness^ — his exact memory^^-^'^ 
 compared to an almanack ^-^ his courtships ^^lo 
 he wooes the graces^ — his aj^pearance : — he reci 
 vers his hat and maud^^^finds the skirts oit 
 2J0ckets of his coat^ the Boar had torn off^ — // 
 2cses of pockets to sots ; — his soliloquy^ occasiom 
 hy the accide^it^ — hi^ business^ and various souro 
 of incotne : — he applies fo7^ help to frowsy Kate^-^ 
 she refuses it^ — and turns her back upon him 
 — his speech^ on the disappointment^ — the hisfo) 
 of Donald Da^dges^ who zs to 7^emedy it^ — and « 
 DonaWs former connections^ the poor Co7npan^ 
 and Dady Dow^ — with a call^ in passing^ at mi 
 Sqimituni^s, 
 
 CANTO VII. 
 
 Courageous Cuddy, glad tse see 
 
 The Boar lak' leg see soon ; 
 That, skaithless, he had gar'd him flee, 
 
 Without a cracked croon ; 
 Grew vougy ; trac'd him o'er the lee ; 
 
 Cried, 'weird I that he would droon 1' 
 And, frse' the pool whan he gat free, 
 
 Thought it as ebb's a spoon 
 
 That summer's da' 
 
 Ere this, poor miller Samuel raise, 
 The eweless black«faced Tup, 
 
77 
 
 That gathers on the Sabbath days 
 
 Collections in a scoop, 
 That shame, should pity fail, t' her praise, 
 
 May bring the bawbees up, 
 And hands about, with danered gaze, 
 
 The Sacramental Cup 
 
 On holier day j 
 
 That wanders aft frse house to house, 
 
 Wi' cringing gait and face, 
 To see if ony lass a spouse 
 
 Is wanting in the place, 
 A grave, methodic, husband douse, 
 
 To solve a puzzling case, 
 A ^ Ready Reckoner ^^ of use 
 
 If trifle she would trace 
 
 To th' year and day j 
 
 That lang the parish chrcyiiide^ 
 
 And kalendar had been. 
 And, like an ahnanack^ was, still, 
 
 Oft thrown aside, when seen, 
 For every lass, baith guid and ill. 
 
 The Forth and Clyde between. 
 Thought ae' short look enough, a will, 
 
 Ta^ satisfy her een. 
 
 And sought nae mae i 
 
 But instantly, Ohon ! alack ! 
 
 Wi' as much speed as fear. 
 Upon him, shuddering, turn'd her back^^ 
 
 Or stopt th' unwilling ear. 
 Or left th' apartmeiit in a crack, 
 
 Lest he should something speer, 
 Kept by his presence on the rack, 
 
 'Twould terrify to hear. 
 
 Though but ^ '>r..',- . 
 
 3 
 
78 
 
 Yet he had oft to weddings gane, 
 
 To concerts, plajs, and races, 
 And lang stood, in a crowd, his lane, 
 
 Ay grave, 'midst laughing faces, 
 Oft, for a giggle gied a grane. 
 
 For raptures cauid grimaces, 
 Wi' meikle dust, but powder nane. 
 
 To learn the winning graces, 
 
 At meetings gay : 
 
 Now, powdered Sawny's stoor his pash, 
 
 Plain, yellow, Scotch rapee ; 
 His gowdcn locks, now, strike a dash, (l) 
 
 Into baith nose and ee ; 
 His breeks were filled wi' Lilly's plash, 
 
 Frae' th' head-band, to the knee, 
 Cauld, o'er them, the tioogh, plaister mash, 
 
 Whan dry it cam' to be, 
 
 Grew hardened clay : 
 
 Maist smoort wl' meal, and snuff, and dirt. 
 
 Breath stinking, blood-shot een, 
 Iron-sol'd shoon, sweaty feet, black shirt, 
 
 He wntstled aff the Green ; 
 Wi' plaid, and hat, long lost, begirt 
 
 Whan he, at last, had been, 
 O's coat he looked at the skirt 
 
 The Boar had riven aff clean, 
 
 In's haste away : 
 
 The pockets fast to the coat tails, 
 
 The tailor strong had sew'd, 
 Like wallets fu', contriv'd as scales 
 
 To poise with equal load, 
 
 (i) Gowden.locTcs were highly prized in former times. See 
 Chriilii Kirk of the Crene, and other old poems. 
 
79 
 
 To ballast Samuel, when his sailsy 
 
 He chose to spread abroad, 
 If, light with liquor, jostling galeS' 
 
 The skirts above them b lowed, 
 
 And crossed his way ;- 
 
 Now, draggled, frae the dirt upraised, 
 
 They dangled in his hands, 
 Wi' breeks uncovered, long he gazed. 
 
 Unsheltered to their bands. 
 Till brisking up^ though still bumbazed. 
 
 As searching them he stands. 
 Thus to himself, his voice half raised,, 
 
 He, whilst redress he plans. 
 
 Was heard to say ;; 
 
 ' Foul fa' the nasty greedy thing ! ! — 
 ' Hoot ! hoot I I maist could stick it — 
 
 * It cleft my legs wi' sic a spring — 
 
 * Can it my pouch ha'e picket, 
 
 * O' mill, o' napkin, process, string, 
 
 ' O' braw Assembly Ticket ? (2) 
 
 * 'Gainst him I'll Action forthwith bring, 
 
 * And gar him weell be licket,^ 
 
 Some other day : 
 
 i 
 
 A Keeper to his Majesty's 
 
 * Cygnets (young swans) I am, (3) 
 
 (2) Process ; a bundle of papers, containiag the proceedings 
 before a court of law. The Assembly ticket, may have been to 
 a card or dancing assembly, if then in being j or to the General 
 Assembly, if tickets of admission ta this exhibition were then 
 required. 
 
 (3) Swans, and of course Cygnets, being Roj^al fowls, it is 
 left for Antiquarians to say, if, or not, this employment gave 
 rise to the present laborious, and ill-requited ofRce of Keeper to 
 his Majesty's Signet, and to the respectable society over which 
 he presides. Samuel seems to have been but an underling a* 
 bout the Keeper^s office, though so proud of it. 
 
80 
 
 * And free' his geese, and pinions gray, 
 ' My quills, and profits cam' ; 
 
 *" Our Lintoun woo', frae' tap to tae, 
 
 ^ Me deeds, frse' sheep and lanab ; 
 ^ My mill's weell multured every day, 
 
 * Wi' bannocks, me to cram : 
 
 For this he'll pay !» 
 
 Aft, frowsy, great, coarse, kitchen Kate 
 
 Had courted by him been. 
 As 'mang the awss she sat in state, 
 
 Wi' creesh her nceves between. 
 And, scouring, ^wat, before his grate, 
 
 A' soot, up to the een ; 
 Observing her, wi' winning bleat, 
 
 ' Kate, there, will scrape me clean !' 
 
 He ba.5'd, * Pll lay ? 
 
 * Me sort your breeks ! and dam your tails ! 
 
 ' My trowth ! it sets you weell 
 
 * T' apply to 7//e, whan aught you ails, 
 ' Your croon frae' tae your heel ! 
 
 ' Shoot out their horns,' she cried, * e'en snails ! 
 ' I'd see him at the de'il, 
 
 * 'Ore I wad scrape the finger nails 
 
 * O' sic an ugsome chiel ! 
 
 Let mc away!' 
 
 * Weell then,' crunes he, ' I'll Donald Badges, 
 
 * My heel and, hen-peckt dark, 
 
 ' Wi' padded legs, and cheeks like fadges, (4) 
 ' A body like the wark, 
 
 * That ony thing will do for wadges, 
 
 * Gar wash my breeks and sark, 
 
 ^ Whan 1 gae hame ; and, on our hedges, 
 
 * Then dried, let Kate, there, bark. 
 
 Or turn away I 
 
 (4) A Fatlge is a coarse spungy sort of leavened wheat'brpad> 
 blown up, and shaped somewhat like a roll. 
 
i 
 
 81 
 
 Poor Bareskin, Greenshawps, Toom, and Co^ 
 
 ' Frse' the Goose-dubs, him chose, (5) 
 
 Whan he could frae' his minny go, 
 
 ' And change the kilt far hose ; 
 ^ His mither washed for high and low, 
 
 ' His father darned their clothes ; 
 ' Whan he their crafts had learned to know, 
 
 ' They cuiled his copper-nose 
 
 Wi' sour-milk- whey i 
 
 * Frae* them, to auld MacLimp he gaed : 
 
 * And then tae Dady Dow, 
 
 The donsie dort, like pettled cade, 
 ' Wi' pensy paughty pow. 
 That sorns in stucco-street, 'tis said ; 
 
 * Near squinting, mad, John Low ; 
 He Dady's pens, and paritch made ; 
 
 ' The wife to wash, and sew, 
 
 Helped every day ;- 
 
 The chiel he's got in Donald's place, 
 ' Frae sheep-head-wynd I ween, (6) 
 Like grue, is fitter for a chace 
 ' On this our Lintoun Green, 
 Or on Leith Sands to run a race, 
 ' Than for a net or skreen ; 
 He, nor can mend, like Donald, clai's, 
 ' Nor can he wash them clean. 
 
 Whan Dady's gay/ 
 
 (5) A place, on its south side, in Edinburgh, is called the 
 
 Goose-dubs, 
 
 (6) Sheep'head-wynd ; the name of an alley, on its south- 
 Side, in Leiih, 
 
82 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 The Musketeers propose to hoist the vktoriou 
 .Ajss^ cocky-ridj-rowsy, oil SamiieVs shoulders 
 and to escort him in Triumph through the Suh 
 Metropolis ; — how Donkey is to be seated^ — th 
 
 various uses of the Tup^s ears, SamuePs deco 
 
 rations^- bellman Reest, — the creeshy Corpora^ 
 a deacon and constable, — his employments ; — th 
 Tup^ to be revenged mi the Boar agrees to carr 
 his friend the Ass : — SamuePs speech, — he altera 
 and lays out the plan of the Triumph, '^co7iclude 
 his oration^ 
 
 CANTO VIII. 
 
 Huzza ! let's heeze great Nicolas I* 
 Cried a' the mnsketeers, 
 In Triumph; through the town must pass 
 
 * Our friend o' former years ; 
 We'll a* surround him in a mass, 
 
 * Whilst on his shoulders bears 
 Victorious Nicon, singing bass, 
 
 ' Preceded by woo' sheers, 
 
 Samuel tliis day 
 
 Close Samuel's neck his hams shall hug, 
 
 * Cling to it, rank and frowsy ; 
 Whilst o'er it, near his bosom, snug^ 
 
 * 'S the poll, weel smear'd, and lousy^ 
 Wi' shagged locks for him tae rug, 
 
 * Like mop, for pommel, towsy, 
 
83 
 
 With, on each side, a handy lug, 
 
 * Thus, cocky 'Vidy'roivsy^ 
 
 His helm, or staj ; 
 
 Upon the scalp^s coarse matted thrums, 
 
 * Nicol his breast shall lean, 
 
 Hold fast with arms, hands, fingers, thumbs, 
 ' Its brow, these props between. 
 So that as, thus, his visage comes, 
 ' Like priest's and clerk's oft seen, 
 )'er Samuel's phiz, the twa humdrums, 
 Conjoin'd, on Lintoun Green 
 
 May shine tliis day ! 
 
 By his great friend's encircling arms. 
 
 The Tup's bright temples, round. 
 Shall be secured from hurts or harms ; 
 ' And seem for triumph crown'd ! 
 Nicon^s lang lugs shall catch alarms, 
 ' Should grunt from Grumphy sound ; 
 He to the Tup, by's ears (not germes) 
 ' Lugged right, or left, where bound. 
 
 Shall point the way ! 
 
 His slugglish spirits tae recruit, 
 
 Whan Ni'col, high and gruff. 
 Shall tak' a longing at the snoot, 
 ' An appetite for snuff. 
 What frae his pinch he cannot put, 
 ' Into his nostrils stuff. 
 Will Samuel's nose, below his, suit, 
 ^ Flrae's fingers, well enough. 
 
 As on they gac : 
 
 With summons hanging round his neck, (^) 
 ' A ticket on his breast, 
 
 (i) Summons; to a court of law* 
 
84 
 
 ' His skirts, for colours, on a stick, 
 
 * Born high by bellman Reest, 
 Shall Nicon^s bold procession deck 
 
 « The Tup ; upon his beast, 
 ' His Five Misfortunes he'll neglect ; 
 ' The Boar he'll turn to jest, 
 
 And scorn to daj 
 
 The creeshj Constable we'll score 
 
 ' To carry the woo'-sheers ; 
 He howks the graves, can drink and roar 
 
 ' Whan helpan' auctioneers ; 
 He ill can fight, but weel can shoar, 
 
 ' Kill calves, and sheep^ and steers ; 
 Wi' gooly sticks, pig, soo, and boar, 
 
 * Wi' frock their blood besmears. 
 
 He'll hufF away 
 
 Provoked,' says Samuel, * I agree 
 ' To carry what Balaam 
 Ance rade upon— nay, wanting fee ! 
 ' Though I should feel a qualm 
 At such a post, were I to be 
 ' Ask'd when in temper calm ; 
 I, else, would rather, to be free, 
 ^ In church gi'e out the psalm 
 
 Next Sabbath day.— > 
 
 Gae, Corporal, bring the knife and coat 
 
 ' Wi' which you stick the swine ? 
 
 The sheers, and skirts i' th' winds to float, 
 
 * To bear aloft be thine 
 
 Auld bell-man Bauldy, sly pilot, 
 
 ' You shall be our ensign ; 
 Bell-wedder like, be this thy lot, 
 
 ' To head, and lead, the line, 
 
 Wi^ haftets gray 
 
85 
 
 Wi' nose shaped like a lobster's claw, 
 
 ' And coloured like it too. 
 
 When but half-boiled, and yet half-raw, 
 
 ' It's red, wi' shades o' blue ; 
 Wi' worm, or flee, or net, or paw 
 
 * To grope, a fisher true ; 
 
 Your hand-bell ring, as 'ore the law, 
 ' By proclamation, you 
 
 Call to obey ^ 
 
 Aboon the sheers we'll stick the scull 
 
 ' O' our great Lintoun ram 
 
 That, o' the sturdy dee'd, when full 
 
 ' C honours, like his dam, 
 
 (Since Creeshy killed our parish bull) 
 
 ^ The dad o' mony a lamb ; 
 Like foot-band Finlay by the fool, 
 
 * All those that courage sham 
 
 You'll fright away : (2) 
 
 ' The creeshy Deacon next shall stalk, 
 ■ ' Wi' bloody coat and knife ; 
 • To humble Grumpliy, there he'll walk, 
 I * And frighten him for his life ; 
 f The sticking steel, should he, to baulk 
 l! * Our sport, leave bed and wife, 
 "i^ And stinking frock, wi' mony a mawk, 
 ' Will soon frse iiim flee strife 
 
 Ten miles away I 
 
 j Twa kickmaleeries loud shall play (3) 
 I ' Our Bauldy's bell behind. 
 
 (2) See the prologue to Sir David Lindsay's play of the 
 "Three Estaites.* 
 
 (3) Kickmaleeries; fiddlers. 
 
 H 
 
4 
 
 < 
 
 86 
 
 * We'll tfy to give, as best we may, 
 
 * Each music to his mind ; 
 
 ' The Corporal, too, shall followers ha'e 
 
 * Of a sonorous kind, 
 
 ' At ilka pause, his cow-herds* twae 
 *- Melodious horns shall wind 
 
 A mort to-d: 
 
 * The Deacon, big, wi' a' the force 
 
 * O' ony brother beast. 
 Of whale, of elephant, or morse, 
 ' O' pain can make a jest ; 
 
 ' Can kill a cow without remorse, 
 ' And on her liver feast ; 
 Sow-gelder too, he'll swell of course, 
 
 * With horns a pair, his breast. 
 
 Before the t^ 
 
 A mort o'er Grumphy, as I said ; 
 ' For, though he 'scaped the pool. 
 To us, in la IV as 'twere, he's dead, 
 
 * Since we have win the dooil ; 
 Since from our Nico7ii*s gripe he fled, 
 
 * Who made his courage cool ; 
 Though Geordy mist, he's gone to be<?, 
 
 * I guess, like drooked fool, 
 
 Baith dowff and w 
 
 MacDrone, the muckle highland-man, 
 
 * Wee Chanter, the MacCraw, 
 Each victories, as loud's they can 
 ' On busked pipes, shall blaw ; 
 
 Before the drums and fifes, whan gaau 
 *• Behind the Deacon's twa. 
 To Reesty's clinkum-tolls in van, 
 ^ They'll moan, o'er Grumphy's fa', 
 
 Ohon! OH 
 
87 
 
 Wee Chanter, ever and anon, 
 
 * That frae his pipes can speak, 
 Shall cheer each solemn pause, alone^ 
 
 * And Goosy ! Goosy I squeak, 
 Whilst, at his elbow, great MacDrone, 
 
 * With wide inflated cheek. 
 
 Shall, frsc his bag, like thunder groan, 
 
 * Ere both blow, joining meek, 
 
 Oh-hon! Oh.h»! (4) 
 
 Our twa wooVgatherlng gipsy jads 
 
 * At Ileesty's sides shall stap, 
 
 Sheep's skins, unshorn, shall be their mawds, (5) 
 
 ' Ilk wi' her paritch cap, 
 
 O' guid aik tree, a pint that ha'ds 
 
 ' O* oat meal stirred wi' sap, 
 
 * And thivle at it ; these, wi' dads, 
 
 * Tliey'U on their bottoms rap, (e) 
 
 To*s tinklings gay» 
 
 * Here, Bauldy ! tak' my lang coat tails ? 
 
 * And tie them on your staff ? 
 
 ^ The pockets pois'd, will hing like scales, 
 
 * The skirts the winds will waff; 
 
 * The great woo'-sheers will clip the gales ; 
 
 * E'en let our neighbours laugh, 
 
 * W^hile steam frae my bare breeks exhales, 
 ^ That seem fill'd fu' o' draff 
 
 But we delay ! P; 
 
 (4) Agreeably to the melancholy character of Highland 
 music. Sec Dr Grahame*s Scenery of Perthshire. 
 
 (5) Mawds ; plaids, or mantles. 
 
 (6) Thivle ; the broze, or porridge stick, for mixing the 
 meal with the hot water. Those of tinkers and befgars ara 
 fixed to the cars of their caps with strings. 
 
 H2 
 
88 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 SamtiePs 7n(innei\ and delivery :'^ the parties^ 
 jirepare for Donkei/s Trmmph: — The procession 
 described^ — it ends at the Smiddy ; — the Smith 
 
 described^ the entertainment^ the dance 
 
 The Miller^ s proposal^ — is seconded by his friend; 
 — Cuddy'' s explanation, and query, ^-Meir effects 
 on the youngsters, and the Tup, — the query an-- 
 
 swered by Laird Giffard, SamuePs mode of 
 
 shewing his gratitude^ — is rejected by the JLaird^s 
 da/uglier^ — breaks up the dance ; — Miss Giffard 
 desc7i'bed, — by tvhom conducted home ; — the ewe- 
 less Tup'*s melancholy reverie ^~^~is roused front 
 it by Laird Giffard, — and sent back to his bottle : 
 — the guests, gradually, retire to the land of 
 JSlod, — None left with the host, but the Ass a?id 
 the Tifp^^^'they get drunk^---attenipt to sing ; — 
 fall off their seats^ —are cairicd to bed :~~~dream 
 of the Boar, and repeai their Trimnphs — The 
 Lintoun Cabal meet at the jovial Smithes next day, 
 for their morning draught :.^-ihe Ass, Tup^ and 
 Boar, all in bed at noon I ! I 
 
 CANTO IX. 
 
 Thus docked miller Samuel spoke, 
 'Twixt mony humphs ! and haws ! 
 
 Took snufF before he silence broke, 
 And after every pause j 
 
 When a' the musketeers and fo'k, 
 Drum I fife I and shout applause ! 
 
89 
 
 Ere minutes ten, by GilFard's clock, 
 Each to his station draws, 
 
 'Midst rowts, and ba-as t 
 
 Cross skirtless Samuel's shoulders broad, 
 
 The coat tails fluttering nigh. 
 Great Nicolas in Triumph rode, 
 
 Now elevated high ; 
 As with looks asinirpe he strode. 
 
 Lads shout, and lasses cry ! 
 Whilst eweless Samuel, with his load, 
 
 Dame JEujphan Veitch gaed by. 
 
 And fiddles play. 
 
 Wi' 's face as red's a north-wast moon. 
 
 Like on an ass a soo. 
 Fat ginge'-bread Ben, symbolic loon. 
 
 Before them coughed cuckoo ! 
 His Gouk's-hill ass, too, answered soon, 
 
 As we ell as ass could do ; 
 The tinklers' pats clink to Ben's tune^ 
 
 To's ass, their cuddies true 
 
 Responsive bray j 
 
 Ahead the kickmaleeries twa, 
 
 Auld Bauldy, wi' his bell. 
 And skirt-hung staff, heegh, o'er them a% 
 
 Rang Grumphy's funeral knell ; 
 The creeshy Deacon's cow-Iiorns blaw 
 
 Sic morts would courage quell ; 
 Whilst pipes, frae bags dolorous, draw, 
 
 'Twixt drumming s, liiings, fell, 
 
 0!-hon! OUh^i 
 
 Those Lintoun lads had lance, or gun, 
 
 Like fold, of pailing, gaed ; 
 The staffs-point sheers, and scull upon, 
 
 A pastoral Trophv made ; 
 
90 
 
 The Deacon flourished in the suji 
 
 The pointed ghttering blade. 
 Prepared to stick a Boar for fun, 
 
 Gar't skirl on the parade, 
 
 To music gay !--. 
 
 When thus, exulting through the Town, 
 
 Ilk street the show had seen. 
 The Smiddj, in the afternoon. 
 
 Betwixt the Cross and Green, 
 Beceived them ; and their joy to crown, 
 
 Ere it was entered e^en, 
 To rowth o' meat they a' sat down. 
 
 And drink that wasna' mean, 
 
 Or scarce that day : 
 
 Beside ilk Presbyterian's plate 
 
 A whig, on cooky, lay. 
 Both Covenanted breads of state, 
 
 And whig, their favourite whey. 
 Filled ilka cap, tae liquidate 
 
 Their throats, lang grace to say, 
 ^Ore cakes and bannocks others ate, 
 
 To ale and usquebae, 
 
 Less strict than they : (i) 
 
 (l) • The southwest counties of Scotland have seldom corn 
 enough to serve them round the year ; and the northern parts 
 producing more than they need, those in the west come in the 
 summer to buy at Leith, the stores that come from the north ; 
 and from a word, whiggam, used in driving their horses, all 
 that drove were called the whiggamors; and shorter the Whiggs, 
 >Jow in that year/ 164^, * befo;e the news came down of 
 Duke Hamilton's defeat,' with the English Royalists under 
 I^angdalc, by Cromwell, near Preston in Lancashire, when 
 cent by the Scottish Parliament to rescue and support Charles 
 the First, after having been basely delivereu up to the cnglish, 
 • the ministers animated their people to rise and march to 
 Edinburgh ; and they came up marching on the head of their 
 |>arish€9 wllh an unheard-of fury, praying and preaching all 
 
91 
 
 The Smithy black, bardy, wee, and snelly' 
 
 Served round the nappy ale ; 
 He'd singed the sheep's heads to the fell, 
 
 Tae mak' the sheep-head kale ; 
 Placed every tup-horn spoon himsell ; 
 
 Preserv'd the haggise hale ; 
 Gar'd cook twa dukes q' Hash's well, 
 
 The company to regale, 
 
 Had run astray i 
 
 the way as they cin-,e. The Marqjiis of Argvle,' the leader 
 of the rigid Presbyterians, * and his party came and head- 
 ed them, they bein^ about six thousand. I'his was called 
 the whiggamor's mroad ; and ever efccr that, all that op- 
 posed the court came, in contempt, to be called fi^/jfg>' : and 
 from Scotland the word was brought into England, where it 
 is now,* about the year 1700, * one of oar unhappy terms of 
 disunion ^•^-Burnet — — — * Tumultuous petitioning' (so ex- 
 tensively reiorted to this same year 1S17) * was one of the chief 
 artifices, by which t*>c malecontcnts in the last reign,* of Charks 
 the First, * had attacked the Crown : And though the manner 
 of subscribing and ddivciing petitions was row somewhat li- 
 mited by act of Parliament, the thing itself still remained ; and 
 was an admirable expedient for infesting the Court, for spread- 
 ing discontent, and for uniting the nation in any popular cla« 
 niour. As the King found no law, by which he could punish 
 those importunate, and, as he esteemed them, undutiful solicita- 
 tions, he was obliged to encounter them by popular applications 
 of a contrary tendency. Wherever the Church and Court party 
 prevailed, adires?es were framed, containing expressions of the 
 highest regard to his Majesty, the most entire acquiescence in 
 his wisdom, the most dutiful submission to his prerogative, and 
 the deepest abhorrence of those who endeavoured to encroach 
 on it, by prescribing to him at any time for assembling the Par- 
 liament. Thus the nation eame to be distinguished into Peti* 
 tioners and Abhorrers. Factions- were at this time extremely 
 animated against each other. The very names, by which each 
 party denominated its antagonist, discover the virulence and ran- 
 cour, which prevailed. For besides Petitioner and Abhorr^r, 
 appellations which were soon forgot, this year,' 1680, • is re- 
 markable for being the epoch of the well known epithets of 
 Whig and Tory, by which, and sometimes without any very 
 material difference, this island has been so long divided. The 
 Court party reproached their antagonists with' their affinity to 
 the fanatical conTeoticlcrs in Scotland, who were known by the 
 
92 
 
 For caulclrife carlines, carlines nice, (2) 
 
 Wi' butter, boiled and beat, 
 And dusted o'er wi' grunded spice, 
 
 Their auld heart-bluids ta& heat, 
 And stomachs swall, that winds may rise ; 
 
 And cocky-leeky sweet, (3) 
 Wi' leeks, and raisins fu' o' joice, 
 
 Round chanticleers for meat, 
 
 In soup like whey 
 
 Pow's-sowdy, king's-hoods, mony-plies, (4) 
 
 Sheep's trotters, hot and hot. 
 Hens, sausages, and mutton pies, 
 
 Frae oven, spit, and pot, 
 
 name of Whigs : The country party found a resemblance be 
 tween the courtiers and the Popish banditti in Ireland, to when 
 the appeliaticn of Tory "was affixed. And after this manner 
 these foolish terms of reproach came into public and genera 
 1183; and even at present,' in the year 1755, * seem not ncare 
 thc-r end than when they were first invented.' Hume,— 
 JVhig^ from the Saxon, siignifies also ivhcy ; and is said, b 
 Crookshanks in his Church History y to have given the name o 
 PVhigs to the poor suffering Scotch Conventiclers in i5^6, fror 
 their being forced, owing to their poverty, to drink so mucl 
 Wigg in their wanderings after their Covenanted preachers : i 
 likewise the name of a leavened wheaten bread, with thin crust 
 brown and round above, and white and flat below, gradually con 
 tractingto a point at each end: a roo/j is a bread of the same kind 
 thickest in the middle, but circular ^ like the pates of the Eng 
 lish Puritans, from cropping their hair, called Round-headi 
 opposed to the Cavaliers, and Malignants. It is curious to fin 
 Cromwell's Saints In 1656, and Buonaparte*s bravoes in 1806 
 from whom the practice has now become general over all Kt 
 rope, both, though of su;h opposite characters, under usurper: 
 the one after the decapitation of the mild Charles the First, an 
 the other after the beheading ot the inofxcnsive Louis the Sij: 
 teenth, following the same, it must be confessed, indeed, a 
 excellent, cleanly, and convenient custom of polling their polls 
 
 (2) Carlhies, old wives ; also boiled pease. 
 
 (3) Cocky-leeky; soup of one 04' moie cocks, for butchei 
 meat, boiled with leeks and raisins. 
 
 (4) Ponvsowdy, ram-head soup; king's hoodsj monv.plie 
 parts of the entrsiilsj or in-Fiieat of cattle. 
 
■ 93 
 
 Roasts, boils, and stews, toasts, broils, and frieSy 
 Frae th' spence, and kitchen brought. 
 
 To their ain steams gave fresh supplies. 
 Ilk sheep cramm'd to the throat, 
 
 In its ain way. 
 
 Now, blyth, the younkers raise tae dance, 
 
 The fiddles play'd na' ill. 
 And, whilst they touzle, ramp, and prance. 
 
 The carles took their gill ; 
 The carlines watch'd their weans askance. 
 
 Lest they'd do other ill ; 
 The Tup, and Ass, things to advance, 
 
 O' ale and whisky swill, 
 
 At evening gray ^ 
 
 3ays Samuel, ' as, th Iau\ is dead 
 ' The Boar, my friends, I think, 
 An' pipes his funeral dirge have play'd, 
 4 'We should his dredgy drink.' 
 
 I'll pledge you neighbour ! who's afraid ? * 
 Cries Cuddy, ' to the brink. 
 We'll fill ! and howl o'er him in bed — 
 '" * But feegh I man ! how you stink ! 
 
 Has ought gl'en wiay ? 
 
 \\ Its virar than assafoetida, 
 
 1 * Or compost midden's smells I 
 
 {| Whane'er you. budge, you send a flaw 
 
 c' * As strong as Moffat wells I 
 
 ^^ • Whan free your mouth your breath you blaw, 
 
 ''l * Or rax your oxter gells, 
 
 afi' Or down about your breeks you claw, 
 
 ^.; ' Ilk move, like foumart, tells 
 
 ,| The scents ye ha'e l»^ 
 
 Tehee ! the lasses crouching, sneer I 
 Their noses ha'd and laugh I 
 
94 
 
 The chiels gafFaw ! the Tup look'd queer, 
 
 And stood like sticked ca'f ; 
 Till great Laird GifFard proy'd it clear, 
 
 As his horn-headed stafF,^ 
 That Donkey wanted but to jeer, 
 
 And spoke in his beha'f, 
 
 Wi' a his swaj 
 
 Made caidgy fain, the Tup the sgua^ 
 
 Gaed up to wi' a prance,. 
 To show he yet some mettle had, 
 
 To ask a lass tae dance j 
 Laird GifFard's self was miss's dad, 
 
 Not sought, of course, by chance ; 
 But tired, and thinking Samuel mad, 
 
 She, and the rest, at ance, 
 
 A' ran awaj 
 
 The dog-days het w€re at their height,. 
 
 The Tup had grown right ree. 
 Laird GifFard's help had made him light, 
 
 And to his daughter flee ; 
 Before he had concerted right. 
 
 As if she would agree,. 
 Like ghaist new rais'd, the docked fright 
 
 Cam' stammering to her free. 
 
 Some stuff to ba-i 
 
 Laird GiiFard^s gimmer was fu' braw,, 
 
 Weell rigg'd out, tight, and clean ;, 
 Her hair was black as ony craw. 
 
 Nor fat she was, nor lean, 
 Her skin was maist as white as snaw, 
 
 She had bright pawky een, 
 Wi' cherry cheeks, like her papa. 
 
 The flower o' Lintoun Green 
 
 She was that da^ 
 

 A buxom, hearty, proper lass. 
 
 Could spin baith lint and wod'. 
 Wash, cook, and bake, shear com, or grass ^ 
 
 Kirn bu^.ter, drain a coo. 
 Rick, fill, cart, spread a shaimy mass, 
 IV Mak' cheese, and milk a ewe. 
 Through reel wi' ony swankie pass 
 That ever wore a shoe 
 
 On Market Day ^ 
 
 Could draw, wi' grace, a chucky's neck, 
 
 Tae a' its skraighings dull, 
 Frae' her white skin, without a speck 
 
 Then clean her feathers pull ; 
 In tub, for mill, could clothes collect^ 
 
 And tramp them till they full ; 
 And to her betters blithe could beck ; 
 
 And kemp wi' Kate, or Wull, 
 
 On harvest day ; 
 
 Her father's sire, true to the Kirk, 
 
 Had join'd the Solemn League, 
 His name, at length, with broken dirk, 
 
 Carv'd on the Harbour Cragj (5) 
 'Mong dates, initials, pastime mirk, 
 
 Appear'd with martyrs vague. 
 Though by some conscientious quirky 
 
 He had escap'd the plague 
 
 Of Charles's day ; 
 
 (5) The Harbour-Craig, to wh'ch many of the Covenanters 
 fled, after their defeat at Bullion Green; a singular rock, 
 south east from New-Hall house, on the lands of Carlops, at 
 the north-end of the parish of Lintonn, and county of Tweed, 
 dale, of which a portrait and description is given in the 
 Scenary edition of Tie Gentle Shepherd, Se« also in Dr P^nne- 
 cuick's works, the Description of Tiveeddaie, by him and Mr 
 Forbes of New-Hall. It is only a few miles south from Rul«» 
 lion Green. 
 
96 
 
 The Cross, on wliich his mither's stood, 
 
 Her father's statue bore, 
 Which made her, not a little, prood. 
 
 And others yield the door ; 
 Jack Douglas, of the Hall, (6) a crood 
 
 O' rival hearts made sore, 
 Who led, with a' the sisterhood. 
 
 And their gallants a score, 
 
 Her home that day 
 
 Thus 'twas, that gratitude misjudged 
 
 The Lintoun ball broke up ^ 
 AfF crowders, lads, and lasses trudged. 
 
 To shun the eweless Tup : 
 Poor Samuel, petrified, ne'er budged, ' 
 
 Till GifFard, wi' a whup 
 Upon the back, at which he fudged. 
 
 Bade him gae mind his cup. 
 
 And no look wae«— 
 
 The auld and young, by anes and twas. 
 
 Towards the land of Nod, 
 As they inclined, now slipt their wa's ; 
 
 Some walk't to't, others rode : 
 Ay less, and less, the circle draws ; 
 
 Till, with their host, abode, 
 Their kitchen, bitter, black bashaw. 
 
 But, sotting alamode, 
 
 The beastly tw£€ 
 
 Nicon's Misforiimes Five forgot. 
 
 Soon, in a jovial key. 
 He tried to clear his tuneless throat. 
 
 And sing a social glee : 
 Poor Samuel, too, essayed a note \ 
 
 At length he grew so ree, 
 
 (6) The IlallHouse of Lintoun. Sec Dr Penneculc Vs w^rks, 
 
97 
 
 [e scarce could grasp of ale a pot^ 
 Or glass before him see, 
 
 Or hear a bray ! 
 
 'he Ass and Tup, in harsh duet, 
 
 Discordant, bray and bleat, 
 7ill ne'er a sound they out could get, 
 
 And each fell afF his seat, 
 V'ith meat, and drink, and sleep, beset, 
 
 From their exertions great : 
 "he Boar, in dreams, again they met ; 
 
 Wi' him again debate, 
 
 And raise a fray I— 
 
 IVas never seen in Lintoun Town^ 
 
 i Since e'er it had a fair, 
 
 lie crowds a' rinnan' up and down, 
 
 And through it sic repair, 
 
 s was that Market Day in June ; 
 
 Sae mony fo'k were there, 
 k but, and ben, aneath, aboon. 
 
 Was filled, baith late, and ear', 
 
 That merry day.-.- 
 
 ext morning soon the SmiWs Cabal (7) 
 
 Met for their morning draught, 
 
 ^i' Giffard, Dowglass of the Hall, 
 
 O' ale tae tak' a waught, 
 
 1' Gibbie Elliot, Younger small, 
 
 And those they with them brought ;— 
 
 it Ass, and Tup, aud Boar, withal, 
 
 'In bed were to be sought 
 
 At noon next day ! ! I 
 
 1(7) See Dr Penrjecuil<'s works, among the poems, • The 
 ptouH Cabai,' in allusion, seemingly, to the great polilcal 
 pa!, and Charles the Second's cabinet council, in 1671, 
 nposed of Clifford, Arlington, Buckingham, Ashley, and 
 uderdale, the initial letters of whose names produce the 
 rd Cabal, This ludicrous comparison wcula be highl) re- 
 ■i],\:tdf and make an excellent joke, at that time. 
 
THE 
 
 WEAPON-SHO WING, 
 
 ON THE 
 
 KING'S. MUIIl AT PEEBLES, 
 IN 1627. 
 
 The following Muster-Roll, and 
 Weapon-Showing, copied from Cap- 
 tain Armstrong's ' Companion^ to his 
 * Map of Tweeddale^' is to be found in 
 the Notes on the Tweed, in Dr Penne^ 
 cuik's Works, Notwithstanding of the 
 improvements that must have taken 
 place, at least among the regular forces, 
 in military tactics and appointments, 
 between the years 1627 and 1685, it is 
 here annexed to them as a curious il- 
 lustration of Dr Pennecuik*s ironical 
 ^ Panegyrick^ with its sequel ^ Lintoun 
 Green^ and of the rural manners of 
 those in the Lowlands of Scotland in 
 the Seventeenth Century. 
 
100 
 
 THE 
 
 WEAPON-SHOWING. 
 
 '' At that part of the Borrow-Muir of Peebles 
 called the King's- Mmr; in presence of Jame 
 Nasmjthof Posso, Sheriff-depute of the She 
 riffdom of Peebles, the 15th day of June 
 1627, being the ordinary day and place ap. 
 pointed for the mustenig anu shcv;ir.g 0. 
 weapons of the said sheriffdom ; conform t( 
 an act made by the Lords of his Majesty'; 
 secret council thereanent, and publication fol 
 lowing thereon : — Compeared the Barons an( 
 others underwritten ; and gave in their mus 
 ters, and showing of the weapons, in manne 
 following, vi;^. 
 
 William Brown, in Wester Happrew, bailie t( 
 my Lord Tester; in his Lordship's name, wel 
 horsed, with jack, plet sleeves, steel bonnet, pis 
 tol, and sv/ord ; accompanied with threescore fiv 
 horsemen, and four footmen, all with lances ani 
 swords, dwelling on the noble Lord Tester's landj 
 in the parishes of Peebles, Lyne, Stobo, a;)d Drum 
 meUier. 
 
 James Chisholm in Glenholm, for my Lor 
 Earl of Wigtoun ; well horsed himself, accompa 
 nied with seven horsemen, with lances and swordj 
 dwelling on the said noble Earl his lands, lyin 
 in the parish of Glenholm. 
 
 Sir Archibald Murray of Darn-hall, well horsec 
 with a collet 5 accompanied with fortj -two horse 
 
101 
 
 inen, with lances and swords, ten jacks and steel 
 bonnets, within the parishes of Kilbucho and 
 Eddleston. 
 
 The Laird of Glenkirk, absent himself ; four of 
 his men present, well horsed, with lances and 
 swords, within the parish of Glenholm. 
 ' James Geddes of Rachan, present himself, well 
 horsed, with jack, steel bonnet, sword and pistol ; 
 with five horsemen, with lances and swords, with- 
 in the parish of Glenholm. 
 
 Adam Gillies, portioner of Whitslaid, present, 
 J well horsed, wdth a lance and sword, in the parish 
 ■"of Glenholm. 
 
 '( James Cockburn, bailie for Sir Jol n Hamilton 
 .|of Skirling, knight, present, for the said Sir John; 
 '*! accompanied with horsemen, all with l^-xes and 
 *^' swords, and four jacks, in the parishes of Skirling^ 
 and Roberton, (in Lanarkshire). 
 
 The Laird of Stenhope, absent himself ; seveii 
 of his men present, horsed all, with lances and 
 swords \ in the parish of Eroughton. 
 
 The Laird of Haldon, absent himself; John 
 Waldon, his bailie, present in his name, accompa- 
 nied with ten horsemen, and twelve footmen, 
 wath lances and swords ; in the parish of Erough- 
 ton. 
 
 The Laird of Romanno, present himself, w^ell 
 
 horsed, with a sword, with four horsemen, with 
 
 lances and swords ; within the parish of Newlands. 
 
 The Laird of Walton, absent himself; nine of 
 
 his men present, with lances and swords ; in the 
 
 j parishes of Peebles, and Eddleston. 
 
 "j John Sander of Foulage, present for Foulage and 
 
 " Melin's land, well horsed, with jack, plet sleeves 
 
 i(and steel bonnet, sword and lance ; w^ithin the pa- 
 
 ^' -^h of Peebles. 
 
 The Laird of SmiiieW, absent himself; nine of 
 )jhis men present, horsed, with one footman, all with 
 • swords and lances ; in the parish of Peebles. 
 
The Laird of Horsbrugh, present, for the lane 
 of Hutchinfield, well horsed, with a collet, bu 
 coat, steel bonnet, with lance and sword ; paris 
 of Peebles. 
 
 The Laird of Langlaw-hill, present, well horsec 
 with jack, steel bonnet, with lance and sword 
 with thirteen horsemen, with swords and lances 
 within the parish of Brought on. 
 
 David Murray of Halmire, well horsed, accom 
 panied with thirty-nine horsemen, and a buiFcoa 
 collet ; all the rest with lances and swords ; with 
 in the parishes of Newlands, Stobo, and Drum 
 melzier. 
 
 Thomas Thomson, in Bonnington, presen 
 horsed, with lance and sword ; parish of Peeble: 
 
 Thomas Bullo, in Botiingto::!, present, liorse( 
 with sword and lance ; parish of Peebles. 
 
 Thomas Scott of Hundleshope, absent himseli 
 SIX of his men present, horsed, with two footmei 
 all with lances aid swords ; parish of Mannor. 
 
 James Scott af Cruickston, absent himself; tw 
 of his men present, footmen, with lances an 
 swords ; parish of Peebles. 
 
 William Burnet, elder of Barns, present, we 
 horsed^ with a buff coat and steel bonnet, lane 
 and sword ; accompanied with seven horsemei 
 with lances and swords, with a footman with 
 lance ; within the parish of Mannor. 
 
 The Laird of Mannor, present ; accompanie 
 with seven horsemen, all with swords and lancesi 
 within the parish of Mannor. 
 
 Robert Porteous, for Winkston, present, wit 
 a buff coat, a pair of pistols, and a rapier ; witl: 
 in the parish of Peebles. 
 
 The Laird of Dalwick, present, well horsec 
 with a sword ; accompanied with one horsemai 
 with one sword and lance ; parish of Dalwick. 
 
 Robert Pringle of Chapelhill, present, we 
 horsed, with a lance, pistol, and sword ; with or 
 
103 
 
 lotman with a lance ; within the parish of Peebles, 
 
 The Laird of Hartree, absent himself; ten of 
 Is men present, horsed, with lances and swords , 
 irish of Kilbucho. 
 
 William Brown of Logan, present, well horsed, 
 ith lance and sword ; and a horseman with no- 
 ting ; parish of Glenholm, 
 
 William Scott of Glenrath, absent himself; 
 >ur of his men present, horsed, with lances and 
 vords, and a steel bonnet ; in the parish of Man^ 
 )r. 
 
 Rowland Scott, for his part of Deins-houses, 
 resent, horsed, with jack, steel bonnet, sword and 
 nee ; parish of Newlands. 
 
 — _— for his part of Dcins-houses, 
 
 resent, croset ; with seven jacks, steel bonnets, 
 irords, and lances ; in the parish of Newlands. 
 
 William Tweedie, younger of Wrae, present, 
 )rsed, with one horseman, both with lance and 
 irord ; parish of Glenholm. 
 
 John Patterson, portioner of Broughton-shield, 
 resent, well horsed, with lance and sword ; pa- 
 sh of Broughtoun. 
 
 I The Laird of Glack, absent himself, three of 
 s men present, horsed, with two lances and 
 prds ; parish of Mannor. . 
 I The Laird of Halkshaw, absent himself; four 
 
 his men present, with three lances and swords, 
 »rsed ; in the parish of Drummelzier. 
 
 The Laird of Posso, sheriff-depute foresaid, with 
 iff coat, steel bonnet ; two pistols and sword, ac- 
 mpanied with twelve horsemen, with lances and 
 
 ords^ 
 
 Total, 294 Horsemen, and 10 Footmen." 
 
 j.^ See the Companion to Captain Armstrong's 
 Map of Tweeddale ; and Dr Pennecmk^s 
 Works, p. 304, Notes. 
 
INTRODUCTION, 
 
 The preceding ironical Panegyrick 
 ON THE Royal Army of Scotland, iint 
 May 1685, with its sequel ' Lintoupc 
 Green/ alludes to the ever-memorable 
 Revolution in Britain, as the following', 
 also rustic and humourous, verses en- 
 titled ' Carlop Green' do to that in 
 France, about a century thereafter. In 
 ; November 1688, the former took place: 
 I in November 1788 the French Revolu- 
 tion had begun ; in July 1789 the Bas- 
 tile was taken, and razed by the mob ; 
 and on 21st January 1793 Louis the 
 XVI. was ferociously and publicly be- 
 headed, after a mock trial. 
 
 All the three Poems are written in 
 favour of the natural, unerring, steady, 
 beneficial principles of rational regu- 
 lated liberty, such as that obtained by 
 our Bill of Rights : in opposition to 
 Popery, intolerance, despotism, Tory- 
 ism, and Jacobitism, on the one hand; 
 and infidelity, licentiousness, levelling, 
 and Jacobinism, on the other. They af- 
 ford specimens of the descriptive poetry 
 of the Lowlands of Scotland, from the 
 same pastoral district which produced 
 Ramsay's celebrated comedy, and not 
 
INTRODUCTION. | 
 
 far from its Metropolis, in the years 
 1685 and 1793, connected hj corres- 
 ponding events of the first interest and 
 importance in the two neighbouring ancl 
 most powerful nations in the world, al- 
 though as different in their immediate 
 objects and effects, as the organizing 
 of consistent and durable freedom, en- 
 forced by the Chartered establishment of 
 the innate, wholesome, and invigorat- 
 ing equality of just claims, is, from the 
 wild, frantic, inconsiderate destruction 
 ol all the rights, rewards, regulations, 
 ranks, subordinations, distinctions, at- 
 tachments and principles, divine and 
 human, by which order, and social life 
 are supported and cemented. 
 
 The subsequent Poem itself is com- 
 posed, as to subject, scenary, character, 
 and rustic gaiety, in the same stile of 
 liumour with that which prevailed so 
 much in Scotland among our leading 
 wits, before the Union with England, 
 headed by their accomplished, and 
 merry Monarchs, James the First, anc 
 James the Fifth ; but, with what suc- 
 cess, public opinion and time can alone 
 determine. 
 
 Edinburgh, 7 
 A. D. 1817. S 
 
CARLOP GREEN, 
 
 OR 
 
 EQUALITY REALIZED; 
 
 ^ ^onn. 
 
 IN THREE CANTOS, 
 
 WRITTEN IN THE YEAR 
 1793. 
 
 " (^li fit, Maecenas, ut nemo, qunm sibi sortem 
 ** Seu ratio dederit, seu fors objecerit, ilia 
 *' Contentus vivat : laudet diversa sequentes ?'* 
 •• Qim(!que aliena capella gerat dlstentius uber, 
 " Tabescat ? ne que se major! pauperiorum 
 ** Turbae comparet ; hunc atque hunc superare laboret r" 
 
 Hor. Sat. L. i, S. i. 
 
 PRINTED FOR THE BOOKSELLERS, 
 1817. 
 
CARLOP GREEN, 
 
 OR 
 
 E QUAX.it Y REALIZED. 
 
 'i'llE. ARGUMENT. 
 
 The site of the Green^^^of the Town^^^ofthe 
 Imiy with the sign of Manse the Witches Head,, — 
 mv fai^ frow Edinburgh^ — the surrounding ob^ 
 ects : ^--'Market s^ twice a year^ on the Green^-^-^ 
 vhen held^ — and what pastoral contest ^ and exhi^ 
 ntio7i at each. 
 
 CANTO I. 
 
 On one side of the conic rocks 
 
 The Carline louped between 
 A glen turns, northward, to the Esk ; 
 
 On t' other side's a Green : (l) 
 
 (i) For the objects alluded to in this ballad, see the seenar^ 
 lition of The Gentle Shepherd, with a Map^ Fiews^ and Descrip*' 
 ns ; and Dr Pennetuik's Works, with the Descripticu of Tweed' 
 ftf by him, and Mr Forbea of New-Hall, tvitb notct* 
 
 L2 
 
ilO 
 
 i\Jong tlie gien, a little Town 
 The rocks froe't runs to a brig -, 
 
 On this the hill, on that the brse ; 
 The town's baith snng, and trig: 
 
 Tlie brig is built aboon a ford ; 
 
 Below it is the stance 
 Of Peggy's Mill ; and o'er 't a howm, 
 
 Where was a yearly dance ; (2) 
 
 The street in breadth is sixty feet j 
 
 The houses all are neat. 
 With doors and windows painted white, 
 
 And roofs of tyle and slate ; 
 
 Half-way between the rocks and brig^ 
 The street spreads to a square, 
 
 A fountain there supplies the town 
 And keeps it clean and fair : 
 
 Behind the opening 'twixt the craigs 
 Runs bright the village forth, 
 
 'Tween and gay Patie's 'Spittal hill, 
 Its shelter on the north : 
 
 As far's the square, the houses line 
 The street without a bend ; 
 
 Along the level street is viewed 
 The fount at yonder end* 
 
 Eastle the rocks, a canty Inn, 
 Gives lodging, beer, and bread \ 
 
 Over the door it has the sign 
 Of Mause, the witch's Head ; 
 
 (a) The scene of Pe^gys Myil, a ballad, in the Apncncli 
 Ihe Scenary edition cfjhc Ctntle Sh$phe, d. 
 
Ill 
 
 'Tis thirteen miles from Edinburgh, 
 
 Upon the Biggar road, 
 Which runs below the Pentland hills, 
 
 Through where the green is broad : 
 
 Besouth the craigs the Carline lived. 
 
 So blithsome Ramsay tells, 
 When Madge ance Bauldy sent away 
 
 With touzled harigells ; 
 
 The Tree still stands, where like a stane, 
 
 Half petrified with fear. 
 He stopt in sight, and swithered lang 
 
 'Ore he durst venture near ; 
 
 It grows beside a little well 
 
 East from the inn and rocks, 
 And of west winds frae Carlop-hiU 
 
 It still can bear the shocks. (3) 
 
 The craigs be-north of Mause's hut, 
 
 Directly intervene. 
 And make a narrow pass betwixt 
 
 Tne village and the Green : 
 
 Beyond the green, half round it, south^ 
 
 There sweeps a trotting burn, 
 Beneath a gently rising bank 
 
 Directing every turn, 
 
 (3) Roger's Habitation, between Mause*s cottage at tlie conk 
 rocks, and the well and blasted tree, and north of the Gre^n, 
 was once used as am inn. Sec in Penne u:k*s IVorks, the Descrip- 
 tion of Tweeddalc, Of the XTorth-Esk ; and for Fieivs of the 
 objects referred to the Secnary edition of The Genth Shepherd,'-^ 
 Before Dr Pennccuik's day it was the mansion of the estate ; 
 and after, in the time of Allan Ramsay, the farm-stead to the 
 whole lands of Carlops, as one sheep-walk, on their annexation 
 to the estate of Ncw.Hall. In ihs ruin is still to be sren- tho 
 jreat hall window. 
 
112 
 
 Till ending in a swelling know. 
 Formed by King Charlie's Nick, 
 
 It opens to a haugh below 
 And lets it pass it quick : 
 
 In distant vista down this vale, 
 
 Flanked by smooth sloping ground. 
 
 O'er Kitly-bridge appears the House, 
 Where Simon once was fpun^, 
 
 Upon its height, whence down to Glaud 
 
 O'er loyal news to laugh, 
 In old tinaes, oft across the bum 
 
 He stept to bein Monk's-haugh : (4) 
 
 East, from this valley's southern edge, 
 Springs up the Kumbling-well ; 
 
 West, up its Dean, three curious nxounts. 
 Contrast the Carlop-hilL 
 
 Upon this flat expanded spot, 
 Whence all these round appear, 
 
 A Market's seen, the Twenty-Third 
 Of April, every year ; (5) 
 
 'Twixt Patie's-bill and Roger's-rig, (5) 
 The Poet's Tower ascends ; (ij 
 
 (4) See The Gentle Shepherd, AeU 2, Scene 1. 
 
 (5) See the Almanacks. 
 
 (fi) Two farm steads, north and north-east from the villa^ 
 of Carlops. 
 
 (7) To the memory of Allan Ramsay, the Poet; on t\ 
 Girth-hill. For an account of the Ghtbsy (the Judicial Circl 
 of the Celts and Sanctuaries, or Druidrcal places of rcfug 
 «€c Huddlatoni* iditkn of Toiand's history of the Vruidu 
 
lis 
 
 There pastoral flutes^ with vernal glee, 
 For the prize-pipe contend : (8) 
 
 Another, in October's held, 
 
 Upon its fifteenth day ; 
 This day, when Ramsay first drew breath, 
 
 The green is ever gay ; (9) 
 
 To crowds, at e'en, amidst the scenes 
 
 That gave his drama birth 
 The Shepherds act it to the life. 
 
 And crown his fame with miith* 
 
 The Tents are pitched upon the heights,. 
 
 The merchandise to hold ; 
 And to attract the dealers more. 
 
 Well covered from the cold ; 
 
 There ginger-bread, and ribbons gay, 
 
 Are placed to catch the eye. 
 For older heads too, whisky stoups. 
 
 That all may come and buy : 
 
 The farmers hale, their cattle bring 5 
 
 The young-folk all convene ; 
 And many a fairing is exchanged (lO) 
 
 That day at Carlqp-Green ; 
 
 (8) These annual contests, among the Shepherds of the Pent- 
 land hills, at Ramsay's Tower, in the Spring, for a Scots Pas- 
 toral flute, recall the days of Tbeacriius and Firgil^dLVid. the com- 
 petitions for the Prize- pipe, amidst the Arcadian scenes of Si. 
 cily and Itaiy, which constitute the chief subjects of their Idyh 
 and Eclogues. Imptovisatori still abound in Egypt, Sicily, and 
 Italy ; where Shepherds contend in song, as in the pastoral 
 ages of antiquity. 
 
 (9) See the Almanacks. 
 
 (10) A gift ; usually among the lads and lasses, al fairs, and 
 to their relatives and friends on returning home. 
 
il4 
 
 Howell o' a' kinds, ilk size and sort. 
 On Market-days go there, 
 
 To see, or hear, or show themselves 
 At every Carhp Fair, 
 
113 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 ^he inhabitants about the Green^ and in tlie 
 'Fown^ — the attendwnts at the Fairs^ — Baillie 
 Brock — Mass John^ the Minister of the Pa/t^ish^ 
 ^'^the Lettergce — ^Johny Jow^ the beadle — Israel^ 
 
 and the Children of Israeh^^Elder Sam the 
 
 Miller — the Smith smuggler Auld the Dis^ 
 
 tillers — -Joiner Gentleman the Post arrives 
 
 Squirt passes through the Tolly from Gowk^s-hill''*-' 
 his budget of neivs — Oration to the wabsters, mi 
 the blessings of Equaliti/'—its success in the Town 
 "^repeats the news^ and every where ^ to every one^ 
 - — the Cadger y — wee Yuky the wright^'-—the Tai^ 
 lors, his sons, — Gawfer and his AsSj — TolLRobyy 
 
 the Washy^Wauker^ Whillywha^*^ — Tu/ncan 
 
 Thu^ Cobler Drunkie, the Lintoun Laird^ 
 
 with his JLady^ brother^ and grieve^ the Carlop 
 
 Colliers, and Lime-quarriers — Other inhabitants^ 
 and visitmits^'^'the Cattle^ and occurences at tho 
 Markets. The Carlop Wives. 
 
 CANTO II. 
 
 Here Patie, ance frae Harlaw-Muir^ 
 
 Wi' Meg, by Habbie's How, 
 And Jenny cam*, wi' them frae Gland's, 
 
 To Roger frae tho know ; (l) 
 
 (l) See the Scennry edition of the Gentle Sle^h^rJ ; ZTid the 
 Vfsenptiou of TzvecddaU. in Dr, tcnnecu.k^s Worh, 
 
n6 
 
 Now, lads bring Bess frse New-Hall-Mains, 
 
 Wi' hair o' hazel hue, 
 And Mary sweet, frae' Spital near, 
 
 Sae fair, wi' eyes o' blue : 
 
 Out frae the glen, behind the pass. 
 
 House-holders of the Town ; 
 All round run to the MarkeUQtxen^ 
 
 Baith villager and clown. 
 
 Stiit, still, stuir, hard-grown Baillie Brock, 
 
 Great man ! oft figures there. 
 Near Ramadge, panting for his post^ 
 
 His predecessor's heir : 
 
 There cripple Ramadge, Proteous-like, 
 
 Can rise or can descend. 
 Stand on his long leg or his short. 
 
 Just as it serves his end 5 
 
 Just as it suits his secret views, 
 
 To see, hide, own, deny, 
 This, that perceives, or that, that's Mind, 
 
 Can open either eye. 
 
 And there's seen, selfish short Mass John, 
 Like sow, or sheep-hog, fat, (2) 
 
 As sleek's a mole, or puppy young, 
 And black and round's a pat. 
 
 Casting his airs, and knappan' ^nc (3) 
 
 Tdd ilk ane o' the place. 
 Their buttons ha' dan', wi' his mouth, 
 
 Rammed close up to their face, 
 
 (3) Sheep are called Hogi from the time they are first smea 
 od at Martinmas, untjl th 7 are first shorn ; so that there ai 
 :hiep^ as well as sew Hogs. 
 
 (3) To knap is to affc ct the Kn^lish dialect and accent. S( 
 
 J^r Psnntfuik t tV'Jiks, 
 
ii7 
 
 And then,, their shouthers clappan' kind, 
 
 Advisaii' like guid baiihs, 
 Them tae keep mind o' stipends due, 
 
 How hardly them he earns ; 
 
 And here, as proud, fat, short, and braw, 
 
 Shines forth his Lettergae, (4) 
 And his Kirk-Session, Elders a', 
 
 To grace the holiday j 
 
 Wi' hingan'-chafted Johny Jow, 
 
 Wi' nose on's face tae smell, ^ 
 
 Een like a cat, and tapering pow. 
 
 That rings Mass John's Kirk bell, 
 
 His Reverence shaves, his Bible bears, 
 
 And lays it on the pu'pit. 
 Fishes wi' gaud and net, but whiles. 
 
 Gets, fu', himsel' weell douket ; 
 
 And Israel, northward, frae Canaan, 
 
 Wf een no' parallel. 
 And wi' him, too, frae Jordan, a' (5) 
 
 The Children of Israel ; 
 
 Auld Elder Sam, till set wi' 's son, 
 
 W hose palsied noddle shakes. 
 Here, first his hands, and then his head. 
 
 Pure whisky steady makes : 
 
 (4) LettergCy the reader, or church precentor, who lets go, 
 % e, gives out the tune to be sung by the rest of the congrega- 
 tion. See the « tes to Ramsay's continuation of King James's 
 Cbr sis Kirk en the Green, 
 
 (5) Canaan^ northward, a place socallcd, near Egypt, on the 
 soutk side of Kdinburgh, and on the road to Carlops ; een n#* 
 eyes not; Jordan^ a rivuiet so called, on the south side of Ca- 
 naan, about a mile and a half from Edinburgh, near which lived 
 a man. about the years i^yz and 1 793, whose Christian name 
 was Israel^ and whose children, of course would be Thi Children 
 if Israel, 
 
Ii8 
 
 Here's oft the Miller^ claveran' calf, 
 
 A miser sae complete, 
 He grudges whan he works^ because 
 
 It gars him hearty eat, 
 
 Wi' mouth as wide as a niill door, 
 That lives on sour-miik-cheese, 
 
 Sawt herrings, tawties, water kale. 
 And counts his peats, and bees, 
 
 And whan tobacco's cheap but chews. 
 
 Swallows the sap, it toasts, 
 .When dry it smokes, then snufFs the awse, 
 That naething may be lost ; 
 
 Can girn and laugh, and stories lang, 
 
 O' wonderous trifles tell, 
 'Bout what he did, and what he saw, 
 
 And happened tae himseP ; 
 
 That giggles oft, and smirks maist sweet, 
 
 Whan but to hide his spite. 
 And this way, safely, show his teeth. 
 
 Whan he's afraid to bite : 
 
 Here's too, the feghtan', staran' stirk ; 
 
 And his big brother nowt. 
 That kicks his muckle brosy wife. 
 
 Like a great flingan' cpwt ; 
 
 And, soor shangy-mou'd Shavelock sweer, 
 
 Billy tae Oyster-lugs, 
 The son o' the lang-chinned blinker. 
 
 That gear and cunzie hugs ; 
 
 ' And leean' Dobie, Dickie's son, 
 Wi' .shootbers 1 p and doon. 
 
119 
 
 The tane 'maist brizzan* on his rump^ 
 The t'ither, near his croon : 
 
 And here's, precise, the wabster prig, 
 
 As if by fortune crost, 
 That stalks about, with solemn step^ 
 
 Like Hamlet's father's ghost : 
 
 The hirplan', short, smith-body here 
 
 Creeps wi' his cripple leg, 
 That bans sae muckle about his skeeD, 
 
 Tho' scarcely worth a cleg, 
 
 That better bluids a horse than he. 
 
 Without or mell or phleme, 
 Can flee, and with ten times his speed, 
 
 To others do the same ; 
 
 And here's the pug-like smilan' Pegh ; (6) 
 
 Wi' the powowit poll, (7) 
 A' black and hairy tae the nose, 
 
 Sae dirty and sae droll : 
 
 And here the sturdy smuggler Auld, 
 
 Wi' his stiff shank, is seen. 
 As thick again 's his.soople prop, 
 
 Stiltan' out o'er the Green, 
 
 To's dochter, and guid-dochter, come 
 Frae Tweed' s-Muir him to meet, 
 
 Tho' but twa een they'd 'twixt them baith, 
 Wi' deaf Dass Splutterfeet ; 
 
 ) Pegb, a Pict. The Picts arc supposed hj the vulgar to 
 !t been dwarfs. 
 ) PowowU, .1 Tadpole, or Porwiggle. 
 
 M 
 
120 
 
 And tke daft wabster, frae the liaugli, 
 
 That wi' the Pegh distills, 
 Amang the birks on the brae-side, 
 
 A hole in, at a well : 
 
 And here's great joiner Gentleman, 
 That, whan no mending, plews, 
 
 His crummie flits, and calfy feeds, (s) 
 And spells the printed news ; 
 
 The cadger's son, that got the w^ife, 
 
 Sse grand| wi' pride and cash, 
 That soon she crackt the curn o' brains, (9) 
 
 Within his ram-skulled pash : 
 
 Spare Spelding, by the ford that bides, 
 
 His tup-horn trumpet-nose, 
 Here, like a caimon, crammed wi' sneesh, 
 
 Discharges w^hen he blows't ; 
 
 When empty, or he'll not lay out, 
 
 For snuff, its extra cost. 
 Its sound's aft taken at the bridge. 
 
 For the arriving Post, 
 
 That here, frae Reekie- Auld, begins 
 
 To blaw the brayan' blast 
 Frae's tootan' horn, till through the Town, 
 
 And yont the rocks he's past ; 
 
 Or, fras Beinn-na'Cuachaig^ (lO) 
 Wi' Gowk-hill-new5 sick-£u', 
 
 (8) To fit a horse or cow, is to shift them by their tc(l< 
 from place to place, as their pasture becomes bare. 
 
 (9) A Curn is a small quantity of any thing. 
 
 (10) The Hill of the CucJiOo^ now Fennemck^ north castwif 
 four mUes. [s. 
 
For Squirt's cuckoo ! the gate in haste 
 To open, and let him through. 
 
 That he may get within the Toll^ 
 
 Before that aught gets out, 
 To spew his budget-fu' o' tales. 
 
 And wonders 'mongst the rout, 
 
 In state, to tell the wabsters round, 
 * Was razed the proud Bastile ; 
 
 ' With it, that all were levelled now, 
 ' And every thing gaed weell, 
 
 * For Prussians, and Hungarians, but 
 ' To Paris half-way got. 
 When hunger sent them scampering back 
 Soon at the back-door-trot ; (li) 
 
 6 
 
 That Louis' ^^if^was guillotined ; 
 
 * The pe^)le bore the sway ; 
 
 That here, too, each would soon be free, 
 ' To eat and nothing pay. 
 
 Without one higher than himself, 
 ' To call him to account, 
 ^ For word, or deed, or bond, or debt, 
 
 * Whatever its amoimt ; 
 
 That all were to be fraternized ^ 
 ' Were to have bonnets red ; 
 And were to serve, each man himself, 
 . ' Without another's aid, 
 
 ti) The haste occasioned by a diarrhoea, or dysentery, as 
 pened to the invaders then, from hunger, and bad provi* 
 
 M 2 
 
12S 
 
 ^ As the Equality to reign, 
 
 * Requires that all should do^ 
 
 ' That all may independent live, 
 
 * And none his service rue, 
 
 ^ Or grow by it, so as to draw 
 
 * From him another's wealth. 
 And thus Equality destroy, 
 
 * By making rich himself j 
 
 ^ That soon they'll shuttles lay aside, 
 
 * Themselves but to amuse, 
 
 * That trade nor troking will take place, 
 
 i That none may gain nor lose ; 
 
 * That, all alike in fare and rank, 
 ' As she'd export no more. 
 Thus, still the nation will, at large, 
 
 * Be rich, as heretofore ; 
 
 6 
 
 ^ Ilk then, will choose for Minister, 
 
 ' The priest that preaches best, 
 ' Despising power, and worldly pelf, 
 
 * Ej deeds and words exprest, 
 
 ^ By teaching, like a pastor pure, 
 
 * That, like a flock o' sheep, 
 * His flock should to Equality^ 
 
 * And love ym/er/zo/ keep, 
 
 ' Should in communion gifts enjoy, 
 
 ' Partaking with each other, 
 ' Without distinctions, to enslave, 
 
 * And plunder one another ; 
 
 * That a' will pasture where they please, 
 * Like Lot and Abraham ; 
 
6 
 
 ( 
 
 i2S 
 
 llie lands will a' be commons then, 
 * For horse, cow, sheep, and lamb j 
 
 Th' embrace fraternal will go round, 
 
 * Love will our thoughts engage, 
 
 * Then humblings, toil, and tax, will cease, 
 
 * As in the Golden Ag€y 
 
 * When men were in Equality^ 
 
 ' And spent their happy days, 
 
 * In doing nought, or what they chose, 
 
 * In pleasure's various ways, 
 
 * When ilk his couch left ear' or late, 
 
 ' As he inclined of course, 
 
 * And, waking, ate, drank, piped, and danced, 
 
 * Or rade his hobby horse, 
 
 * Or walked, or, soft, like Danae lay,' 
 
 ' On blushing beds of flowers, 
 
 * While scented zephyrs played around, 
 
 * 'Midst glittering golden showers i* 
 
 Thus Squirt to the first batch he meets, 
 
 And, finished his harangue, 
 Aff trotts in state, it to repeat, 
 
 And sing his cuckoo-sang. 
 
 At every door, he open finds. 
 
 Upon the Lintoun road. 
 To every cadger, and his calves, Cl2^ 
 
 O'ertaken wi' his load : 
 
 (la) Cadger ^ ©ne who buys calves, poultry, eggs, butter, and 
 ' pther such articles about the country, and ecUs th^m tobutch^r?j 
 ^and retailers in towi)?. 
 
 M % 
 
124 
 
 Tho' scarce he'd first frae Carlops gane, 
 Whan "re addles wrote it down, 
 
 Sighed for the ' Gowden Age^ and fine 
 ' Red honneV for his crown ; 
 
 It copied too, the Peoplc^s Friends^ 
 
 And a' the Democrats^ 
 Metred and sang't, when half seas Q*ei\ 
 
 To France in porter pats. 
 
 Here's seen the saftwoo'-carding sheep, 
 
 That slavers o'er his wabs ; 
 And carrying lies, free door tae door. 
 
 The sneaking, slandering Snabs j 
 
 The cadger hard, wi' legs like rungs ; 
 
 The bubbly block-head, Bumph ; 
 The filthy, stinkand, sweaty smith ; 
 
 And Sunky sour, the sumph j 
 
 The tricky loon, though like a fool, 
 Wi's bonnet and his maud, (l3) 
 
 That o'er his carpet walks ilk day, (l4) 
 Wi' his heegh limber laud ; (l5) 
 
 And soople, (l6^ Springy, that can jump, 
 
 Metre, and Plays act weell. 
 And, gadgers frae rins, free his still, 
 
 The moor o'er, like a de'il ; 
 
 (13) Mawd, a plaid. 
 
 (14) Carpet, the name of a farm on the Carlop estate. 
 
 (15) Laudt lad, his son. 
 
 (16) Soop e, metre, gadgers, deil, ayontj boolefy boo, rvbatvp, bJuit* 
 srSi '^> fsld, skiater, me'tkle kyte, iraws, baveran' ivbeety xvbats / sup* 
 pie, write metre, excise officers, devil, beyond, howlet owl, 
 
 curlew, dies of a curlew, sow hog;, cold infcrtiie, slater, big 
 
 belly, fine clothes, drawling out silly trifles. 
 
i25 
 
 And the guid grieve ayont the dyke^ 
 
 The lang hoolety-hoo, 
 The whawp, frae the south, that bluiters 
 
 In the bogs, like a soo^ 
 
 Turning up, but cald marshy moss^ 
 
 Behind twa wading steers. 
 That work and cash t' himself and friends^. 
 
 And loss to's master bears ; 
 
 And Nosy, the sklater, showan' 
 
 His auld certificats, 
 Meikle kyte, braws, and consequence, 
 
 And haver an' wheety-whats ; 
 
 And skowrie snooled Snivel, his jobber, 
 
 Wi's wife, the collier fell ; 
 And, wi' 's glee'd jo, plast'rer Gash-gab^ 
 
 Nane ruises but himsell ; 
 
 And here is Sugar, soft and sweet, 
 
 Sse canny and sedate, (l7) 
 That ne'er leaves out, even whan he prays^ 
 
 The words ' at ony rate j' 
 
 And glaiked. Glib ' I'se tell ye whafj* 
 
 That harps, whate'er ye say, 
 * I^se tell ye what, and there's that in't^* 
 
 Conviction to cjnvey ; 
 
 And slow, * sae did it' that repeats j 
 
 And barren Sandy Sieve, 
 That has a fat cheek, and a lean, 
 
 Cross-headed Cruity's grieve 5 (l8) 
 
 (17) Canny; quiet, peaceaWc, cautious, prudciltx 
 (iS) Gr/*v^/ an overseer. 
 
126 
 
 B^tith proud bit bodies, wantan' weans, (19) 
 That gars them whiles cast out. 
 
 And Cniity feckless Sandj shore 
 Frae's house tse pit him out : 
 
 Here's, frae Blair-bog, the pricker prim ; 
 
 Cryned, (20) useless Yuky wee 5 
 Round Huntipot, a manny crouse, (21) 
 
 As bantam- cock could be j 
 
 And, whid, frae Beggar-ha', baith yap, (22) 
 
 The twa pert prick-the-lice. 
 Wee Yuky's sons, to snufF about. 
 
 For cheese and bread, like mice ; 
 
 And Gawfer, wi' his cutty-thees, (23) 
 
 And lang lowse lampand legs, 
 That crockery buys, and sells, and trokes, (24) 
 
 But oftener steals, and begs, 
 
 Wi' wife, and weans, and cur, and creels, 
 
 And social cuddy gray, 
 On spyan' a friend, that brak his branks, (25) 
 
 Lap, flang, and ran away. 
 
 And ran and brayed, and brayed and ran, 
 Wi' coodies, pigs, and pack, (26^ 
 
 Ne'er headan' skirlan' (21) brats, nor creels, 
 Till a' slaed aff his back : 
 
 (tp) ^'fan/, wee-anes, children . 
 ^lo) Cry id, shrunk by drying, 
 (ai) C/ 9use, bold in carriage, erect. 
 (2% J Yap, hungry. 
 (3t3j Cutty theesy short thighs. 
 (14) Troif J, barters. 
 
 (25) JSr^ni/, a rustic bridic, witha piece of wood on each 
 side of the mo^ith, through which the halter is drawn. 
 
 (a6) Coodies plgs^ small wooden vessels, ard earthen pitcher*. 
 (17) Skirknd, shrieking, frcrr. the cr€c!s. 
 
127 
 
 Toll Roby, like a bottle made, 
 
 Here dry and dun 's a ham, 
 Wi's braid round hat, and muckle clogs. 
 
 Stands staran' like a ram j 
 
 Here's Stiff his steeple o' a son j 
 
 Wise Holtye wi' his soo. 
 And strong hen, haverel .tawny Meg, CsS) 
 
 Wi' Mirly, Marg'ets coo j 
 
 And foul M'Fat, the pedlar rogue, 
 New risen frae 'mang the awss, C29) 
 
 That bangs his wife for being fu', (^O) 
 And breakan' marriage-laws j 
 
 The washy-wauker, creepan' thing. 
 
 Blue to his finger ends, 
 Whase bouncing mate Ba's down the bum^ 
 
 And others, oft attends ; 
 
 Black Whilly-wha, the forging thief, 
 That fiddles, bans, and lees, (31^ 
 
 That never rests frae trick and trot, 
 Wi' his twa knockan' knees, 
 
 Wi' Tuncan Thu, his friend, at least 
 
 While he a purse caa draw, 
 A swindling, hen-peckt, poisonous taid. 
 
 The vilest o' them a'. 
 
 And cockney, talking, tailor, Tom> 
 Wi's prating English Moll, 
 
 ^ (48 J Haverel, g^yrky, 
 
 (29) Awss, ashes. 
 
 (30) ^u\ of liquor, drunk. 
 
 (31) LetSf lies. 
 
128 
 
 That brands a leg, or pads an arm. 
 Or caps a hairless poll ; 
 
 And elritch Girn-again, Goblin, 
 
 Wi' back out, and breast in. 
 That yatters, and barks frae his know, 
 
 'Twixt the loch and the glyn j 
 
 And, smirkan', wi' his bonnet blue. 
 
 And pearl in his ee. 
 The baggy, brosy, Baudrans braid, 
 
 Sae sleeky, and sse slee ; (32^ 
 
 And, near him, greetan' Gander-feet, 
 
 That grat sae sair the night, 
 On which he gied his snotted hand, 
 
 Tae clatty Sloyster-kyte 5 
 
 And lean, dun, Joe ; and Davy daft. 
 
 The stick et-wabster-chiel ; 
 Wi' mither Crab, for cloots and crumbs. 
 
 That rakes the awss sse weel ; (3 3)^ 
 
 And Luggy, the snibbed sutor's son. 
 
 That deals in ky and fibs. 
 And braid-nosed Geordy, brother calf, 
 
 Distillers frae Guise-dibs 9 
 
 And Freetock, wi' his flounder-face. 
 
 The haveran' gilly gawpy, 
 Wi's reefart-nosed, blae-cheeked wife, 
 
 Hallaket Je^, the tawpy, 
 
 (3I) S^MSy^ hrozyy hraidy jheky, the; big-bellied and fat-cheek- 
 ed, soft and fat with feeding on brose or pottage, broad and 
 cquat, smooth and insinuating, sly and selfish. 
 
 (33) Greetand, clatty, daft, sticket'Wabster-chieti mither, cloots, 
 tveell } crying like a child, dirty, wrong-headed, weaver-lad, 
 who broke his apprenticeship, mother, rags, well. 
 
129 
 
 frse Leith, that ' Caller Haddy's !' cried, 
 
 'Ore Embrse' Burghers dined. 
 Till Freetock after her she drew, 
 
 Back to the Sheep^head^Wynd -, C34) 
 
 And crouchy Car, wi's humpy gett. 
 And 's hingan'-showthered Bess, 
 
 Turned like a peary on its head ; 
 And Sail, as thrawn's aa S 5 
 
 And cobler Drunkie, corn that shears, 
 Wi' 's pig- wife Kate, that begs, 
 
 On her twa stumps, like water-stoups. 
 Or gutty, short, Mons-Megs, (^35) 
 
 An ill-sitten, shaughlan', sutor, he, 
 
 Wi' bairnly squeaking voice. 
 And frag his mouth's ay oozing bubbles, 
 
 Mixt wi' tobacco joice : 
 
 And here shines the Laird, frse the south, 
 
 On his horse and his saddle ; 
 And Jock, the Laird's brither and guide, 
 
 On yad and sunks astraddle ; 
 
 And his Lady, on palfrey white, 
 
 Ahint Gabriel, the grieve. 
 Braid sittan' on her cushion saft, 
 
 By his waist ha'dan' steeve, 
 
 (34) Snibbedy ky^ haveran , glllygaivpyy reef art , hltx^eheeled^hallahcff 
 fatvpyy sheep'head'iuynd i snibbed hen-pecked kept under and dis- 
 pirited, cows, loquacious staring fool, radish, livid-cheeked, 
 forward and witless, simpleton, the name of a lane in Leith, 
 
 (35) Crouehyy humpy^ hingand-ihoivthered^ peary^ tbraivfiy gutty^ 
 MofiS'Meg; round backed, hump- backed, sloping-shouldered, a 
 toy of wood shaped like a pear that children set a spinning 
 •with a string on its iron point, crooked, thick ; a rery large 
 cannon, till lately in Edinburgh Castle, from Mons in Flanders, 
 capable of holding two people, and now in the Tower of Loij* 
 don. 
 
130 
 
 And whupan', tae quicken the rump 
 
 O' the nag, tse gar 't steer. 
 Whan like tae sink under the load 
 
 O' Lady, grieve, and gear, 
 
 Videlicet, the pad and sunks. 
 
 Skirt, josy, plaids, creels, sacks, 
 A' swalled wi' goods, and pouch-fu's, bought, 
 
 O' goodies, and nick-nacks, 
 
 Tae victual the house for a month. 
 
 And gytlings please at hame, 
 Wi' ploombs till the next Carlop Fair, 
 
 And deed themselves and them. 
 
 And here come, colliers, wives, and weans, 
 Frae pits, black, boisterous crew ! 
 
 And squads o' limestane-quarriers dyed 
 A' o'er wi' ochre too : 
 
 And here are drovers and dealers ; ^ 
 
 And horses, sheep, and kine, 
 Farrow, yeld^ and milk, fat and lean ; 
 
 And bills, and coosers fine, 
 
 Wi' lads, on pownies, leadan' them, 
 
 Wi' ribbands dressed, about. 
 And some fast rinnan' to show afF, 
 
 Ilk his weell-peppered cowt ; 
 
 And hogs, wi' heegh or hingan' lugs. 
 In rowUi, for fo'k t« wale 5 ^36^ 
 
 (35) Shaughlandyhaitnlyi bubbles i bills i ili, eowty heegh ^ htngand, 
 frowthj ivaU; looseill-made, childisli, slavers, bulls, esich, colt, 
 hi^h or pricked, hanging, plenty, choose from. 
 
131 
 
 And ewe' and wedder hogs, and lambs, 
 Frae Lintoun, too, for sale : 
 
 And tinklers mendan' pats and pans, 
 
 Close huddled in a heap, 
 Wi' cuddies, collies, wives, and weeanes. 
 
 Like a hirsel o' sheep ; 
 
 A', or buyan' keen, or sellan', 
 
 Or beasts, or merchandize, 
 Or trokan', or busy bustlan'. 
 
 As thrang 's a hive o' bees j 
 
 Wi' walth o' rowtand, and neighan', 
 
 And brayand, and ba-an', 
 And laughan', and gigglan', amang 
 
 Youngsters, and bairns play an' 
 
 Wi' trumps, drums, swords, and trumpets wee^ 
 
 And fiddles for a groat. 
 And cheepan' birds, and jumpan' jacks, 
 
 And ba's and bools that stott 5 
 
 And rldan% and rinnan', as weell. 
 
 As walkan', and sittan'. 
 And snufFan', crackan', and drinkan', 
 
 Blawan', chewan', spittan', f37) 
 
 Especially amang the auld 
 
 Carles and wives in the tents, 
 Whar they gab, till stopt by a feght, 
 
 O' fairs, markets, and rents ; 
 
 ili»l\nd gutch^rs, granean', wi' grannies, 
 I In wigs, and curtches clean, ~ 
 jiVi' hirple and whost, frae ingle side, 
 I Joukan', guid day ! guid e'en I 
 
 7) C ddits, hirsel, tvalthyroivtand, ha- and, bairns ^trtimps, groat f 
 ^an booli, sto'it, ^innand trackand, hlaiua c^; Asses, flock, 
 ly, lowin;:;, bleating, chiMren, jcws harps, fourpence ster- 
 ; chirping biftk. and jumping jacks, foys ; small bowls or 
 ies, rtbound, runnirg, chaui:;g, ynoking tobacco, 
 
 M 
 
132 
 
 A' gossie-fain, cadgy, aud cantj, 
 
 Ither tae meet and hear, 
 Tae tell, and be tald, what thej keii 
 
 O' ferlies far and near : 
 
 And hellish squeels, frae hounded pigs, 
 
 That collies hard pursue, 
 Barkan', and bitan' horse's heels. 
 
 Whan they've nought else to do, 
 
 Or yelpan' round hirsels, tse wear 
 
 In the wanderan' sheep, 
 Or droves, the nowt, at drovers* signs, 
 
 Out frse strajan' tae keep ; 
 
 And herds, wi' bonnets, mauds, and kents 
 
 For loupan' biurns and dykes. 
 And dees, wi^ snoods, and kirtles blue, 
 
 As glaiked as their tykes ; 
 
 While the mountebank, wi' his fool, 
 
 Tae ^ools puffs aff his drogs. 
 Their cash, jugglers, and fortune's- wheels,} 
 
 Pugs, bears, and dancan' dogs. 
 
 And raree-showers, and spae-wives. 
 
 And lottery-men's prizes. 
 Tumbler's, and story-tellers, draw 
 
 Frse bairns o' a' sizes. 
 
 And here are packmen, and hawkers, 
 
 Sellan' braws tae the crowd. 
 And bonny wawlies, and playocks , 
 
 And singan' ballads loud, 
 
 For lauds to their lasses tae chant, 
 
 Convoy an' them at night 
 Frae seean' Patie and Boger^ 
 
 Tae their hames by moonlight 5 
 
^33 
 
 Or whan wi' ilk ither they meet, 
 
 Tae dance after the Play, 
 And swill scuds, garravadge, and sing, 
 
 TilldafFan' breeds a fray 9 (38) 
 
 And nits, for them tse crack, or keep 
 
 Tse burn at Hallow-e'en 
 With their names, that their lots in love 
 
 i\nd wedlock may be seen: 
 
 Too carlines sell, afc stands frae stoups, 
 
 OfFeran' for twae-pence, heapt, 
 Twee dips and a wallop, to gi'e, 
 
 Into their pouches dreept ^ 
 
 And speldings, and sweeties, for weeanes,^ 
 
 Tse chow and sook at hame^ 
 And orangers, and apples sour. 
 
 That worms leave in the wame. (39) 
 
 Some Wives too, here are famous round, 
 For whisky, and for tea : 
 
 (38) Auld, carles^ gab yfeghtygutchers grannies t curtches^joukan^, 
 gossje-fain^ le I ciy ctUieSi ivear^ noiuty kentf, ktrtles^ jpa^ivtves, 
 bonny-ivauliesy flayocksy Patte and Roger ^ stvill scudst garravadge^ 
 daffand; Old, olti men, chat converse, fi^i^t squabble, grandia- 
 thers, grandmothers, hoods coifs, bowing and courtesying;, gos- 
 sip-keen, wonders sirange news, curs shepherd dogu, turn, 
 cattle, long staves shepherds use for leaping ditches &c. with, 
 'ipper petticoats, fortune teiliajjj women, pretty toys, playthings, 
 the comedy of * The Gentle Shepherd^ drink ale, riot and romp, 
 froiickiijg. 
 
 (39) NitSy carlines, tiva dips and a nvalhp^ dreept ^ speldings , 
 stueefiesj chowy orangersy ivame ; Nu';, when two are put in- 
 to the fire togetner, by a young man, or woman at Hallow- 
 e'en, one for himself, and tihe other for his sweet-heart, whom 
 he names to himself, their mode of burning separately, ami 
 jointly, t^how^ their iots in love, and wedlock should matrimony 
 be the cgnsequL^nce ; old wives; two dips of the stoup measure, 
 and a few skimmed from the top of the basket of nuts, or small 
 fruit, with the measure besides; dropt j i'lndhorn speldings, or 
 dried haddocks ; sweet confections, sugar plumbs, &c. ; choWj 
 gnaw ; oranges, belly. 
 
 N 2 
 
134 
 
 For smokan', tiplan', gossipan% 
 As lang as thej can see ; 
 
 For hatchan' tales, and nursan' lees^ 
 
 And for sculdudderj foul, 
 For clishmaclavers, bites, and taunts, 
 
 Till they each other sowl : (40) 
 
 Here blear-eed phrasan' Marion dwells,. 
 
 Wi' 'er pipe and tindel box ; 
 And drinkan' Richj's drunken wife, 
 
 Beside the Carlop rocks ; 
 
 Bauld Henny Hetface, whan no fu'. 
 
 Ay eatan' on her legs, 
 Wi' 'r neeves baith filled wi' bread and cheese,^ 
 
 And pouches wi' hard eggs ; ^ 
 
 ■ 1 
 Big, beefy Batch, the Weeper's wife, 
 
 At night, that coudiia' keep 
 Her feet gaan' hame, whan o'er the bog, 
 
 She was advised tae creep ; 
 
 Snell, punchy Peg, that whisky mak's. 
 
 As mad as a March hare ; 
 Fell Christy, that can flyte and feght, (4l) 
 
 While cripple Kate can stare 5 
 
 The brosy Black-bird, and the Merl 
 
 Wi' her lang nose and chin. 
 That, whan she speaks, the words, ' yo zee,' . 
 
 Ay, right or wrang, brings in ; 
 
 (40) 'iculduddery, clish/uulaver^ soivl i Scandal, idle talk pul 
 by tVie cars. 
 
 (41^ Blear-eed^ phra\and^ tindeUhoK^ bauld., fu, me'ves, gaan'' 
 sntll,,A'ja,cb'hare, fell., Jlyte ; Blear-eyed, fair i-poken wheedling 
 tiitder-oox tor smoking, fiery, drui^kj fists, going, smart quick 
 hare in March, clever acuve, scold. 
 
135 
 
 And, free Monks'-burn, the Yellow Flower, 
 
 The lemon-headed bug, 
 Wi' paddock cheeks, and ether's nose, 
 
 A' mouth frte lug tse lug ; 
 
 And IMaj, that mak's pow-sowdj wcell, 
 
 Caudeis, and brochens nice, 
 For weddings, births, christenings, and deaths, 
 
 Skink, and carlines wi' spice, 
 
 And crowdj-moudj, and het-pints 
 
 Fit for the lips o' a queen. 
 At the clachan at Kitly-brig, . 
 
 A mile below the Green ; 
 
 The Luckj, that reads tea in cups, 
 
 Can lasses' fortunes' spae ; 
 Add skirlan' Bet ; and squeelan' Tib ; 
 
 And bardy Janet Gray : 
 
 These Carlop Wives, whan they convene, 
 
 Though sober to't they came. 
 Can frae nae meetan' e'er contrive 
 
 To get unfuddled hame. (42) 
 
 Such are the eccentricities, 
 O' men, and women, seen, 
 
 (4a) Paddocl-cheeks, ether s-nosej poivsoivdy cauJels, hrochenSi 
 siini, carlines J croivdymoiidy^ bet pints y clachan^ lucky^ skirland, bardy ^ 
 unfuddled; Yellow inflated cheeks like a frog's; spiieiui sharp 
 adder-like nose ; ranvhead soup ; caihels, hot-p^ts made of 
 ale, sugar, and eggs ; a kind of w^+er-gruel of ©atmeal, butter, 
 and honey, the Highlanders call porridge in Gaelic hrochin ; a 
 kind of strong broth made of cows hams or knuckles- or carlings, 
 boiled pease; a sort (f gruoJ ; het-pirits, at rfocingf, &c. 
 are drinks made of warm strong ale, whisky, ^z%'=. and sugar ; 
 a cluster of hcu?cs ; mother in its worst' sense; with a shrill 
 screaming voice ; hot, p usionatej na tipsy, unintoxicateil, 
 
 N 3 
 
136 
 
 Th* obtruding froth, a-top, that floats. 
 On Carlop Town, and Green : 
 
 As for the wise, that call for praise, 
 O whilk there is no dearth. 
 
 They're not our subjects, to reform 
 By ridicule^ and mirth 
 
137 
 
 THE ARGUMENT. 
 
 Serjea/nts heat up for recruits on the Green^ — 
 call on the youths to enlist^ and defend their coiin^ 
 try against a French Invasion, — James-, \a dealer 
 from £ldinburgh^ meets John, a neighbouring far ^ 
 mer^ at the Fair, — he buys John^s fat yeld Cow, — 
 they retire into a tent to finisJL the bargain^ and 
 take a glass over it : — A fife and drum, passings 
 introduces politics ; — James, a Friend of the 
 People, gives a lecture on Equality^ — John de^ 
 fends the British Constitution^ founded on a dis-^ 
 tinction in riches and rank, with equal rights^ 
 .-^Jafues proposes adivisiwi of properly, — the pro^ 
 posal is overheat d by tivo begging Sailors, — they 
 ask for a share of the cow and her price, — the 
 anstver gives rise to John's long Stoiy, suggested by 
 a real event , of the English Squire and his Maiij 
 mmmcontaining a comparison between Tweeddale 
 Mutton and the Edinburgh Races, with a solilo^ 
 quy on Pleasure, (particularly'that of eating), th& 
 way we like it, and the different kinds of it :— . 
 While John is telling his story, the Sailors realise 
 Jameses doctrines, and ca/i^ry off and divide the 
 cow and price s-^James, without either the price 
 or the cow, returns to Edinburgh, a convert to the 
 good order, comforts and security, from subord/ina^ 
 tion, and the distinctions in ra/nk and property^ 
 tvith equal rights. 
 
 CANTO III. 
 
 Sometimes the drums, and streaman' pipes, 
 
 Are like to deave their ears, 
 When through the Fair, the Serjeant struts, 
 
 Enlisting volunteers 5 
 
138 
 
 tJnIess, when flourishing his cane, 
 
 He stops his pipes, and drum, 
 And calls on all the gallant youths, 
 
 Lest here the French, should come 
 
 In ane o' their romantic freaks, 
 
 And on their sweet-hearts fa'. 
 And tak' their fathers' guids, and gear. 
 
 And leave them nought ava' ! . 
 
 ' Not even,' he bawls, ' brave lads, your breeks I 
 ' Your hizzies, even their 'coats ! 
 
 ^ For those, in France, that have the sway, 
 ' Are a' daft Sans Culottes.^ 
 
 Here Tames, and John met at this Fair ; 
 
 James straight frae Edinburgh came ; 
 John had a fat yeld cow to sell, 
 
 And wasna' far frae hame 5 
 
 He'd bought her, lean, in last April, 
 Frae Jenny 's-brae, (1) where bred. 
 
 And, since, at Peggy 's-lee, (2) on rowth 
 O' clover, she had fed : 
 
 Quoth James, ' come, this way, to yon shed ? 
 ' Let's see what's in your mill ? 
 
 ♦ We'll try to make a bargain there, 
 * And crack out o'er a gill j' 
 
 * Wi' a' my heart,' quo' John ; and so 
 
 Across the Green they went, 
 And though it seemed already fu% 
 Got baith seats in the tent : 
 
 (1) A farm about a mile south*cast from Carlop village, and 
 on the estate. 
 
 (2) A farm about half a mile north from New Hall House ^ 
 Stnd on the estate. 
 
139 
 
 So soon as James had bought the coWj 
 
 Deep politicks began, 
 He of the people was a friend^ 
 
 And to the rights of man; 
 
 A fife and drum that was gaan' by 
 
 Pat Frenchmen in their heads. 
 For, whiles, but frae a silly cause, 
 
 A great event proceeds ; 
 
 ^ I'm for Equality^'' cries he ! 
 ' I've read all Thomas Paine^ 
 
 * And, lest a word I should forget, 
 ' I'll read him o'er again j 
 
 < What right have those they call the rich 
 
 ' Come, here's to you, Friend John-- 
 
 * What right have they to more than we ? 
 
 ' I answer, surely none !' — 
 
 ' What would you do then, tell me, James?' 
 
 * O, by all means divide I 
 
 ^ I'd like, if 'tv/ere but from mere spite, 
 
 * In Crc3esus' coach to ride, 
 
 ' Though^ unpractised, I there should be 
 
 * Sick, listless, and in pain, 
 
 ' A jeer to all my neighbours round, 
 ' And but distresses gain ; 
 
 * Though, unbred up in Croesus' ways, 
 ' By them I'd lose my health, 
 
 * I'd like, if but to humble him, 
 
 ' To rob him of his wealth.'— 
 
 ' But then,' quoth John, ' by riding so,. 
 
 ' Ane's head may turn about. 
 And, frae no kennan' how to use 't^ 
 The purse may soon run out ; 
 
 6 
 
140 
 
 •'But if, again, what we try for, 
 
 ' Is to have equal rights^ 
 < We ken that's ao Frejich nonsense, Jamcs^ 
 
 * For that, a Briton fights; 
 
 ' You're no' awar', an equal purse, 
 ' Mjr friend, can never be, 
 
 * At least, if all have equal rights 
 
 ' To spend it, and be free ; 
 
 * 'Twere as great tyranny to make^ 
 
 * A lavish prodigal 
 
 * Hoard up his share, as from a scrubs 
 
 ' By force, to take it all 5 
 
 * Besides, at once, your levelling wou'd 
 
 ' Destroy all soul and spirit, 
 
 * By blotting all distinctions out, 
 
 ' The only spurs to merit. 
 
 < 
 
 « 
 
 Which would itself be thus suppressed, 
 ' Lest it should merit praise, 
 Obtain from others its desert, 
 * And its possessor raise : 
 
 * But as for equal rights, even now, , 
 
 * We have them perfect here, 
 
 * For, just like any other man, 
 
 ' We hang a Vv^icked Peer ; (s) 
 
 * The Chapels o' a' sorts we see, 
 
 ' And Meeting-houses, show, 
 ' That each may follow here his creed, 
 
 * To his ain preacher go, 
 
 (3) AlliiJing to Earl Ferrers i for the murder of fohnsoa, hi 
 steward, by scooting him, in 1760; and to Lo^d Sanquhar^ i 
 Scots nobleman, in i6f2, for causing ths assassination of ar 
 lij'^rlish Fciiccr in London, 
 
141 
 
 * Tae Priest, tae Parson, or Mass John, 
 
 ' Or slee Seceder join, 
 
 * And wi' the auld-light anes, or new, 
 ^ 'Gainst patronage combine ; (4) 
 
 * Our commons chiefly make our laws ; 
 * We're by our equals tried ; 
 
 * Kings, Lords, and Commons, must receive, 
 ' Oft our petitions guide ; 
 
 ' Promotion's roads are public a', 
 ' Tae honours, wealth, and fame ; 
 
 ' Tae a', the law is open too, 
 ' Tse hear a pauper's claim ; 
 
 * E'^n slaves our halsome air mak's free, 
 ' Our learned lawooers say :; 
 
 * Then, what mair, in the de'ilsthr awn name ! 
 ' James, tell me, wad ye ha'e ? 
 
 ' Your equal purse would soon be gone, 
 ' All would be as before, 
 
 * Some would pick up what you had lost ? 
 
 * And add it to their store ; 
 
 ' 'Ore lang, this sure would be the case, 
 ' And what would you do then.?' ^ 
 
 * Why, what else would I do,' says James^ 
 
 * But just divide again /'— . 
 
 Wi' crutch beneath his oxter ane. 
 
 And hat, tae gather cash ; 
 Wi' trowsers ane, and timber leg. 
 
 And furred-cap on his pash 5 
 
 (4) Preacher; of the Catholic, Episcopal, or Established 
 Church, in the numerous Chapels, Parish Chuf-ches, and Secta- 
 rian or Quaker and other Meetinghouses : auld-light anes ^ or neiv^ 
 fatronage^ two divisions ol seceders, all of whom object to the 
 right of patrons, to give pastors to churches and parishes* 
 
142 
 
 Lang used tas cruisan' on the seas 
 
 On board of men o' war, 
 Where baith had bartered honesty 
 
 For courage maim and scar ; 
 
 Wi' clotted hair, and clouted clai's. 
 
 In search o' something steering, 
 To fill the pocket, or the paunch ; 
 
 On their discourse o'erhearing, 
 
 Then cried twa Sailors, from without, 
 Their claims repeating thrice, 
 
 * What share shall I get of your cow?'— - 
 
 ' Or I get of her price I— 
 
 * Vv^hat right have you, no more than we, 
 
 ' Who need both cash and food, 
 ^ To clothes, to comforts, and respects, 
 ^ ' Or any thing that's good ? ' 
 
 ' We've both been lamed in their defence, 
 ' Obeyed Great Britain'^ calls, 
 
 * And where would all vour riches be 
 
 <• Without her ' Wooden Walls' r 
 
 ' In truth,' quoth John, ' I fear, good friends, 
 * You'll not share as a glutton, 
 An English Squire, at yonder Inn, 
 ' Shared of a black-faced mutton ; ' • 
 
 4 
 
 * At least of my guid farrow cow, 
 
 * Weell fattened on my clover, 
 
 * That now to sell I am so laith, 
 
 ' And to my friend's made over ; 
 
 ^ Save, like the Squire, to please your taste, 
 
 * You'll pay for what you eat, 
 
 •' I doubt, our crummie there, so fat, 
 
 * Will ne'er to i/ou be meat.' 
 
143 
 
 ^ Ay, ay, man ! whatna story's that?' 
 
 Says James : * Let's hear't ; though lang ?'— ^ 
 f But, if an hour it tak's tae tell 'tj' — 
 
 * I wunna' say it's wrang.'— — 
 
 * Weell then,' quoth John ; * and so, ye see,—* 
 
 * Come, here's t'ye ! — gi'es a snufF? 
 
 ' There's ane frae me. Ere I am duin, 
 
 * You'll think it lang enough. 
 
 * West, by Carlisle, this used to be 
 ^ To Reekie- Auld the road 
 
 * Frequented most, in former times, 
 
 * And by the English trode, 
 
 * The Squire, and 's Man, baith on their way, 
 ' Had journeyed to this place, 
 
 * Some seventy years ago, or mair, 
 ^ To see an Edinburgh Race : 
 
 5 On Sunday they had got thus far, 
 ' The Squire pull'd up his bridle, 
 
 ' And, though 'twas late, for dinner called, 
 ' Not wishing to be idlej 
 
 * The Landlord, just the day before, 
 
 ' Had killed a prime fat wedder ; 
 
 * So to a leg, John Bull and he, 
 
 * 'Ore lang sat down together : 
 
 " Why faith !" says Bull, ''host, this looks well !'' 
 
 ' Then cutting up the loin, 
 ' Beneath, at least, an inch of fat, 
 
 ' The juice sprang up like wine j 
 
 4 
 
 Like port, it filled the ashet full, 
 ' The cut expanding wide 5 
 
144 
 
 ^ If all your mutton's so,*' laughs he, 
 *' ril not begrudge mj ride," 
 
 ^ The Landlord swore, 'twas four years old, 
 ' The true short-breed of Tweeddalc I 
 
 ^ And wath the rest, if he would stay, 
 ' None but the Squire should meddle ; 
 
 * No, not the King, were he to starve, 
 
 * Shauld taste a single bit, 
 
 ^ Until his honour should have done, 
 
 * Who'd got the first of it.' 
 
 ^' If so," cries Bull, " at least I'll stay, 
 '^ Good host, at least this night; 
 
 *' By Jove ! I cannot think to stir, 
 '^ Without another bite : 
 
 '' My man shall go to town himself, 
 
 *' While I keep here alone, 
 *' And bring me out the news, betimes, 
 
 '^ Of how the race went on." 
 
 ^' What signifies it," adds the host, 
 '* When, for a week, each day, 
 
 " A race is run, although you should, 
 *' Sir, be from one away j 
 
 *« Each race, believe me's much the same, 
 '' With that which vv^ent before ; 
 
 '' To see five races then yourself, 
 ** Is just as good's a score." 
 
 * Next day, the quarter was discussed., 
 
 ' While Tom told all the news ; 
 
 * As, how this rider broke his neck, 
 
 * And, how that got a bruise j 
 
145 
 
 * How Sam, in bufF, was distanced sooii^ 
 ' While knowing Jack, in red, 
 
 * Against blue Will, the Purse, at last, 
 
 * Wan, but by half a head, 
 
 * Far Jack's bay gelding had a poll, 
 
 ' Almost as long as two, 
 
 * And had, as taught, thrust out his nose, 
 
 ' Which made poor Will look blue. 
 
 ^' Egad !" says Bull,. ''^ you make so plain, 
 " Tom, all that happened there, 
 
 *' I know as well how all has passed, 
 *' As if I'd had my share j 
 
 *' ^Tou shall, to-morrow, go again ; 
 
 *' Take notice who's the winner ! 
 '' You may, with perfect ease, be back, 
 
 *' A little after dinner : 
 
 *' There are four races after next, 
 
 '^ Still, ere the whole are run: 
 *' I surely will have seen enough, 
 
 *' Before these four are done." 
 
 ' Another quarter was produced ; 
 
 * It bred a fresh excuse ; 
 
 ' Till Tom was sent five times, at last, 
 *■ To town to bring the news ; 
 
 ^ One quarter of the wedder, now y 
 
 * And but one race remained ; 
 
 ' When thus, the Squire convinced himself, 
 
 * And from the race i*ef rained. 
 
 f 
 
 u 
 
 Though I have rode two hundred miles 3 
 ^^ For pleasure^ was it not? 
 O 2 
 
146 
 
 ^ And what can give me more content 
 ** Than what I here have got ? 
 
 ^* We all, in pleasure, 'tis allowed, 
 
 >' Have an undoubted right, 
 ^* To choose, each man, what suits himself, 
 
 " And gives him most delight ; 
 
 '' But was a man, whose finest nerves, 
 '' Were placed within his palate, 
 
 " To choose a show, before a feast, 
 '' I'd surely follj call it : 
 
 '' Now, for my part, I do declare, 
 *' That, such are my dull eyes, 
 
 £' A sight, even, of such charming meat, 
 '' Before a race, I prize : 
 
 '' I surely, therefore, ne'er can rue, 
 '^ Though I should miss this race ; 
 
 '' When I shall put into my guts 
 '^ Such mutton in its place. 
 
 '^ By eating well, at least, we may 
 
 '^ In bulk, and vigour thrive ; 
 ^' But v/ho, e'er, by the grandest sight 
 
 '^ Was ever kept alive ? ^ 
 
 ^« O'er all the senses, now, so high 
 
 '^ Is that of eating placed, 
 <* That every connoisseur in them 
 
 '^ Is called a man of taste : 
 
 " Hence, 'tis that both the eyes, and nose, 
 
 *' Are but as sentinels, 
 *', Placed o'er the mouth, and but it guards, 
 
 ** To see that all is well : 
 
*»47 
 
 ^^ Accordingly, that 'tis their chief, 
 
 " On which the rest depend, 
 " They kjiow full sure, for were H to close, 
 
 '' All would be at an end : 
 
 *^ Our first great object, then, should be, 
 
 " To give't the choicest fare ; 
 ^^ The others, only after it, 
 
 '' Should be our second care : 
 
 '' If they should interfere with 't, then, 
 " Of course, 't should not be hard, 
 
 " At once to fix which of the two, 
 ^' I think should be preferred : 
 
 '' The solid pleasures from the mouth, 
 " We, therefore, ought to prize, 
 
 *' Nay, even my very hounds do so, 
 '* Before those from the eyes. 
 
 " Snug^room, soft elbow chair, brisk ale, 
 *' Good punch, a chatting host, 
 
 " Clean bed at night, and cheery fire, 
 '' I've here, my cheese to toast, 
 
 *' As, when, within my manor-house, 
 •^ Of Glutton-bullock old, 
 Welsh-rabbit, (5) I for supper take 
 *' Till I no more can hold. 
 
 i(, 
 
 " Till, soothed, my sated senses sink, » 
 
 *^ Each to its cell, and, gone, 
 ^' I'm left in the delightful ease 
 
 ^' Of breathing beef and bone* 
 
 ^ Cs) Weslh rahhit \ cheese toasted on bread, ipd seasoned 
 with mustard, 
 
 O 3 
 
148 
 
 *' Besides, in pleasures more refined, 
 *^ As I've beard at some lecture ^ 
 
 " Good lodging takes the lead, even thef e, 
 *'^ The child of archiiecture ; 
 
 '.' Hence, schemers high, we builders call 
 
 '' Of castles in the air ; 
 '' And, all contrivers, architects, 
 
 '' Of projects, foul, or fair : 
 
 ^' A sorry. architect, I fear, 
 
 " For such a scheme, I'd be, 
 *' To leave, with meat, good lodging, then, 
 
 *' An open race to see ; 
 
 " Ev^ft were I certain of some sport, 
 
 '' To raise a little mirth, 
 " When 'tis exposed to colds, and rains, 
 
 '* And breezes, from the Firth ! 
 
 '* The face, miay, after all, turn out 
 
 '^ Not to be very good, 
 '^ Then, for a shadeless, empty show, 
 
 *' I'd lodgings leave, and food ; 
 
 ^' And, this delicious meat, still ihore, 
 
 " This mutton, to enhance, 
 *< I'd change, with it, a certaifity, 
 
 *^ For what is but a chance : 
 
 ^* -Now, as one bird in hand's, ^t least, 
 '' Worth /wo, before they're catched 5 
 
 ^' 'Twould take tWo chances of good sporty 
 ** Before this leg was matched : 
 
 ♦' Besides, we've races such as these, 
 ^* From what Tom's daily told, 
 
^^ 
 
 149 
 
 *' And just as tempting, nearer home,. 
 '' With any man, 111 hold ! 
 
 " For the last time, you shall set out, 
 " Then, Tom, for Leith, to-morrow y 
 
 :* Next day, the wedder will be done ;. 
 ^' I say't, with grief and sorrow ; 
 
 *' For our coarse mutton, for a year, 
 
 *' I'll not let near my mouth ; 
 " By Monday, I'll have eat this up ; 
 
 *' And then, I'll turn me south : 
 
 *' On Sunday last, 'twas w^e came here, 
 *' One stage but from the race, 
 
 '^ Where I've been stopt, while I can eat, 
 " I'll ne^er forget the place : 
 
 ^' The Carlme^s head — Tlie Carlme^s hit^S" 
 *' These charming boils, and roasts-— 
 
 " The Muttm 0' the Carlop Hill^^ 
 *' Shall ever be my toasts I" — 
 
 Before that John had well begun 
 
 This story long, to tell. 
 The Sailors saw, nor he'd divide, 
 
 Nor even James himsell ; 
 
 For, always, James, when levelling, 
 
 Looked np toward the rich ; 
 But never thought of looking down, 
 
 To beggars with the itch ; 
 
 To lower others, not himself, 
 'Twas plain he struggled strong. 
 
 And that superiors, ever made^ 
 The burden of his song : 
 
150 
 
 They both had time enough to plaii, 
 
 'As well as execute; 
 For many a glass, and snuffy John took, 
 
 Before that he got through't : 
 
 So, like their fish-wife friends in France, 
 
 Since none would be so civil, 
 As give them all they sought, themselves, 
 
 They'd take it, through the devil : 
 
 Whilst loyal John, his story told, 
 
 One eased him of the price ; 
 And t'other got even James's coto 
 
 OiF with him in a trice. 
 
 Now, when the dealers rase, and lookea. 
 
 Their gills, and stories done. 
 They found, with grief, when 'twas too late, 
 
 Both price, and cow, were gone I— 
 
 Quoth John to James, ' what think you now ? 
 
 ' Is't this you call equality T 
 
 Quoth James to John ; ' it surely is ; 
 
 ' Though 't wont do in reality J* 
 
 'Ore James got back to Edinburgh town, 
 Without or cash or cow, 
 , He'd got his fill of Sans-culottes, 
 And levelling I trow : 
 
 The Beqiiisitions that were made, 
 
 At ance opened baith his een -^ 
 And sent him hame a wiser man. 
 
 That day, frae Carlop Greek, 
 
E RRATA, Sec. 
 
 The following pages, though entitled * Errata^ 
 <Src.' are chiefly filled with Ommisstons^ which 
 may be inserted with advantage, to increase 
 their interest and perspicuity, though the Poems 
 can be understood without them. 
 
 PANEGYRICK, page vi. line 14, for Thas, read That 
 
 Page vii. line 35, read insensible : While &c 
 
 — — — 38, read above, with his eyes fixed upon him, &C 
 
 LINTOUN GREEX, page .^, line 3, read asello. 
 P*gc 3f li^e 4, read ingredtris; clamor juvenilis, et una 
 5, Foemineae 
 
 7, Ov Met. iv. i, 25, 
 
 4» 8, troops;-^ 
 
 II, troops had 
 
 18, after ratns be revi'ved, — On the failure of 
 
 Argvlli the troops leave their camp at 
 Feebl's, and eturn *o tbdr homes. — X-'tf 
 Captain is eager to exhibit his Hi'-iel, and 
 cut a figure at the Lintoun Markets then 
 holding ; - desires his Serjeant to nvim 
 the Co7fipany ^0 attend at Leadlaiv on this 
 Third-Market-day- — The Company des» 
 crihed.^-The roll called. —they march 
 from Leadlanv through the Tonvn toivard^ 
 the Green; — their parents ^c, 
 20, toivn toward the 
 
 28. children for 
 
 5, 26. *OftheLyne\ 
 
 2,r!^, through Caldstane-slackj 
 
 ^, 4. allure 
 
 a 7. Play. (10) 
 
152 
 
 3?age fo. line 17 read A Tory drove of warlike he, 
 1%, those lazy 
 
 I a. II. shouther &c. 
 
 33^- • Of the Tweed/ Note with the ROTX 
 
 ana \VE/\PON.SHOWlNG on the 
 Kmfs-Muir i? 162 , reprinted at the 
 end of this poem, for the &t. 
 I3» o* gear were 
 
 ^' ^/^^^ Goods to convey.— 
 
 Argyll's rebellion now had failed, 
 
 '^'^^d of itselr exprrerl, 
 Thou.?h tf Argyll's shire he had sailed 
 
 StiU. in the west bemired, 
 Even ''ilasgow's self he ne*er had hailed. 
 
 But sank below it tired, 
 When ('ur J Jrtonians, uiiassaired. 
 
 Had from the camp retired 
 
 Without a fray* 
 
 That a' his braws, as bright 's a kc. 
 Third Market-day 
 Th' occasioTi 
 Thence sped 
 * YSs ves! 5, \es !' and through thc^ 
 
 ichole page Ve^, yes 2 
 replied : 
 doiled ({3) 
 ken'd; 
 O' weanes, 
 that day. — 
 lambs. 
 
 Ladf of the take, 
 in play — 
 
 weeii a;/d every where 'With two Is. 
 ^J^^^ ^^ ithout dismay ; 
 
 * With Rumbald oF the RycHouse Plot, 
 
 * Just hanged and quartered near, 
 « From mingled member, at each spot 
 
 ' Wher5 stuck it s^all apj ear, 
 < Should other Rumballs they Ve begot, 
 
 * And, rising in their rear, 
 An host from every martyred Scot, 
 
 * Increase his foes, till fear 
 Make him give way, 
 
 13 
 
 24, 
 
 
 35- 
 
 1^4? 
 
 '5- 
 
 
 20. 
 
 
 32. 
 
 15- 
 
 I. 
 
 
 4« 
 
 i5. 
 
 10. 
 
 
 3^. 
 
 17, 
 
 %o. 
 
 
 38. 
 
 i8. 
 
 3. 
 
 
 6, 
 
 30, 
 
15S 
 
 fsge U. line 30. ,gad* And fly, perhaps, to fickle France, 
 , Should hopeless be his case, 
 « Or thence, beyond, to Rome advance, 
 
 * Still more to find solace 
 
 • Seneath the Pope's own countenance 
 
 * When sheltered from disgrace, 
 
 ' Bhould future Risings bring mischance, 
 
 * The Crown itself transplace, 
 
 Our Troops away, 
 
 * Though Monmouth, when &c. 
 I9» I' head !— 
 
 «0- 5- Neioi'ands' 
 
 ^^' 9' after As from the town they flow ; 
 
 The Feuars flee tae g^lowr at sights,* 
 See soldiers in a row 
 
 Wi* arms and armour shlmn' bright, 
 And marchan* to and fro 
 
 Tac niHsIc 
 
 g^>% 
 
 Or standan', stoopan^ kneelan*, risan', 
 
 And wheelan', as ilk dows, 
 And haltan , oft then tempo risan* 
 
 Tse tak' their snuffs and chows, 
 S onie to be tenty some advisan', 
 
 Whul' itbf rs claw their pows 
 Frae their Commander no' comprisan* 
 
 And wearyan' sare ta lowse 
 
 And wun away. 
 
 Out frse his house ayont the Lyne, 
 
 Ay yap tae hear and see, 
 And tae enquire, pry, and opine. 
 
 And his opinion gi'c. 
 Too Peter Pork advancan' fine, 
 
 Their Dominie fat and wee, 
 Is now descried, like porcupine. 
 
 If walk erect could he 
 
 And prickles lay • 
 
 This learned jceg our Lintoun 6cc. 
 ^fier The A. B. C, 
 
 With passi'vc pure obedience ^ 
 
 And non-resistance true, 
 As e'er those subjects made pretence 
 
 Or terrors brought them to, 
 When, of their faith the excellence 
 
 And loyalty to shew, 
 
154 
 
 Page 21* line 7. read They owned a Pope's pre-eminence, 
 And what a King held due. 
 
 In James*s da 
 
 There giving him, &c. 
 23. 8. ;tap.pin wee, 
 
 14, after Was black's a sl« 
 
 A rival though taws-wieldan' wight. 
 
 And NicoL NicoN named, 
 Won'd, too, toward the south, in sighl 
 
 In saul and body framed 
 Unlike his northern neighbour quite, 
 
 Yet not by him beshamed 
 In the desire for lear' and light, 
 
 By habble-shows inflamed, 
 
 Whan in his wa 
 
 "Whunaby, what he heard or saw, 
 
 Conveyed by sound or look 
 Up to his brain, by luckless law, 
 
 Oft wrong direction took 
 Into the mazy mental maw. 
 
 And on its road forsook 
 It, in its course, its pleasures a', 
 
 Or, souran' in some nook 
 
 Fcrmentan' li 
 
 Or, when impressions frae without 
 
 On th' organs, by their nerves. 
 Had ended in his brain their route 
 
 Which for their quarters serves. 
 To be there billeted about 
 
 To think in its reserves, 
 Bad board oft bred dislike and doubt, 
 
 Whence deeds oft error swerves 
 
 Into a fra 
 
 Attracted to this public 8cc. 
 
 2», a3. ^^^ ^^y ^'"~ 
 
 44.* a6, precentor, who reads and sings, for 
 
 congregation to follow line by line 1 
 portions of the psalms given out by 
 minister in the parish church ; also 
 session. clerk, &c« 
 
 26, 2. Has tap-pin 
 
 4. For tap-pinles8 
 
165 
 
 Page 27. line 7. read When Grumphy, 
 
 ^3» Or prig ! or pig ! if that*^8 your pass I 
 
 a3. i8. ha-a! 
 
 ap. 23. ba-as ! 
 
 31. 12. * Let *s 
 
 13. rolir» 
 
 26. * chueky ! 
 
 27. pow !' assail 
 2p. squeels frac 
 
 34, 4. after /j/x yJ/O'r J/iz^J f>ut ^" V«o/w, «//W 
 
 ^«//x for b"^. 
 5. after Balaam's friend clears bis nostrili^ 
 
 and prepares \^c, 
 
 14. Neiu lands'" 
 
 35. 14. Again that 
 s6. * ior none 
 
 3a. «/r<?r I am this day !' 
 
 Then Grumphy stroked his beard, and 
 spat! 
 
 Froth foaming out like beer 
 Frae bottle s mouth, that, turned frae fi^t, 
 
 The fire by standing near 
 Has swallcd wi' rage frae brewing vat J 
 
 Though, if tae hide his fear. 
 Or in defianccjjspite, or that 
 
 Through scorn it should appear. 
 
 None, sure, could say, 
 
 Opinions crossing like an X, 
 
 And leavmg doubtful all, 
 "Whilst, oczing forth> its course directs 
 
 The yet remaining spawl, 
 Worked frae within, by heats that vex 
 
 And stimuiatirg gall, 
 O'er the proud peak, the chin that decks, 
 
 On *s kyte, thence, dreeping small, 
 
 As big's a B's, 
 
 Protruding prominent below. 
 
 By fire fed round it hot. 
 As if tae kep the dribs that flow, 
 
 When boiling like a pot, 
 i'rae itt ain brim, and anger show. 
 
 On self conceit begot, 
 That, forward thrusr, may learn his foe 
 
 What 710W might be his lot 
 
 From fresh affray 
 P 
 
1 
 
 DC 
 
 ^^S^SS* line 32. te^^d But, th' Ass afraid lest the wrong i^c. 
 3(>* S* after And thus to bray; 
 
 When first, like n'ippers' gripe applied, 
 
 For napkin he had none, 
 Kor needed when sac weeil supplied 
 
 Wi* fingers of his own, 
 He'd, stooping, seized, on either side, 
 
 Where ends the stubborn bone. 
 His snout, whence snots the snishings 
 glide. 
 
 Their work and virtues done, 
 
 The brain back frac. 
 
 And chirtan* them toward the door, 
 
 Whul' damming up his wind. 
 He'd sudden opened as before 
 
 The air pent up behind. 
 And with a blast-discharging. roar 
 
 The snivel, as designed. 
 He'd driven, with the dead snuff it bore. 
 
 Out from his vents confined. 
 
 And thrown't away 
 
 With a contemptuous toss direct 
 
 Toward prig-Petcr*s face, 
 As if defying disrespect 
 
 This road had made it trace. 
 Who, grinning horribly erect 
 
 With gruesome, grim grimace, , 
 Kept up his fires the foam eject 
 
 Till th' Ass should state his case, 
 
 And griefs display. 
 
 The Kirk, wi' front the south &c. 
 1^9 «o. poor, the blind, and 
 
 2^. seat which 
 
 J7. 9. after At's window gay ; 
 
 High as his seat *8 above the crowd 
 
 And with importance teems. 
 And garb of whilk that he is proud 
 
 Frae every feature beams. 
 His voice still loftier and more loud 
 
 Wih straining music streams 
 Abuin jhe drones laigh dowie dow*d. 
 
 And like sweet goldie's seems 
 
 On tapmost spray, 
 
157 
 
 J*zgc 37. line 9. read That to Lis wife within their ncgt, 
 And gorlans featherless 
 Beneath their mother's downy breast 
 And wings for warmth that press. 
 Not foraging, nor a* at rest, 
 
 Nor he himself at mass, 
 Elated sings, and does his best 
 His feelings tae express 
 
 Melodiously : 
 
 39. 
 
 3. 
 
 40. 
 
 2 
 
 
 *7- 
 
 41. 
 
 14. 
 
 
 24. 
 
 43. 
 
 I. 
 
 44. 
 
 %2. 
 
 50. 
 
 43. 
 
 
 26. 
 
 52. 
 
 3- 
 
 53. 
 
 18. 
 
 55- 
 
 19. 
 
 58- 
 
 17- 
 
 His coat has buttons down its &c. 
 
 37» 14' 
 
 3^- ^j 
 
 His o'erlay, pure frae speck &c, 
 
 after Or holiday ; 
 
 Or for Conventicles forbid 
 
 By Sharp, and Lauderdale, 
 When, or by glens or houses hid. 
 
 Fines, fetters, and a jail, 
 And even the pains of death, amid 
 
 Their Covenanters' zeal, 
 Of followed Preachers to get rid 
 
 Did Proclamations fail, 
 
 Though fed on whey ; 
 
 Or for a Bonspel on the &c. 
 35. 10. Pennecuik and every where without the 
 
 last c. 
 loan, (4.) 
 Hog yards, (5.) 
 Laird away; 
 Wi' 'r round delay : 
 caution bought, 
 Newlands* 
 howker holds so 
 ginge' bread 
 Lists 
 
 btfi and xxiZs I 
 a bray ! 
 
 stomach i-^^Land^ard 
 after Get Scbap, I say ? 
 
 « Or Strut, the gorgon o» Gouk-hill, 
 
 * Gif he 's about this place, 
 ' Wi* puke, purge, potion, powder, pillj 
 
 * Pipe -cloister, and grimace, 
 
 P 2 
 
158 
 
 Page 58. line 17. read ' Ned's melody tac cure, or kill, 
 
 * Tae end or mend my case ; 
 
 ' But Schaep has surely far marc skill, 
 
 * For he *s a far-afF face — 
 
 Get Schcep^ I say I 
 
 ' Get our Dutch Schzcp, 'ore Ned be 
 dead? 
 
 * Or else ye'll a* be hanged ! 
 
 « For, if ye dinna* rin vvi' speed, 
 
 * And, sae, gar me be wranged, 
 
 » My doom will land on ilk sheep's head--» 
 
 * Gif ye, like Ned, were panged 
 
 * Wi* bates, and boaks, you'd find the 
 need — 
 ' Swith I — Nor the sweer were bang;* 
 edl 
 
 Bring SciiAEP, I say ? 
 
 Thrice Ned had gi'en this dread &c. 
 ^9; 7» after Den gut ; ven vlay'! 
 
 * De National Covenant, vid zou, 
 
 * And Zolemn League I joined, 
 ' Conventicles conzealed I've too 
 
 * In house or vield combined ; 
 
 * Vile Strut, de Counzil's Tory true, 
 
 * And Sharp's informer kind, 
 
 * Lickt of diable's Dulce de zhoe, 
 
 * Got Orange Vigs hanged, vined, 
 
 • Vor bloot-money. 
 
 * Dat Strut be impudences be Sec. 
 23, vlaycd, gooted, he'd 
 32. t'y to 
 
 60. £. niy ver' gut | j 
 
 " Vor zo prescribe,'* * zaid he', *' Van ; 
 •* Dat 'av' de and contimie the double 
 quotation mark to bring:" beginning 
 the single mark again at ' Vool Jj 
 tail ' BtoivTc's &.C. 
 'Ore Nfd resolved, 
 'Mai t swell v\ i' 
 Hae-hlir ! 
 after Can they ! Hae— l.ae I 
 
 
 lo. 
 
 
 1%. 
 
 
 3^- 
 
 ^I. 
 
 I. 
 
 6a. 
 
 ai. 
 
 <^3. 
 
 36. 
 
159 
 
 'ajc 63 . line 36. read * Howd-TiFy's ke nM by a' fu* wecU 
 « Her bapt'sm f have renunced, 
 « Tae be in compact wi' the de'il, 
 
 * And by Mass John denunced 
 
 * For a rank wit< h ! that nor can kneel, 
 
 * Kor e*er a prayer pronunced ! 
 
 * The hellish kick, wi' horny heel, 
 
 * And the effects annunced 
 
 Wha it cam' frse \ 
 
 « Though ^he nae wrat had o'er her ee, 
 
 * Nor on her back a birn, 
 
 * T<e show her herd, aid Satan slec, 
 
 « She 's hirseiiec*, frac his girn ; 
 
 * And though near Mausie's cottage wee, 
 » Wi' her and Clootie, dirn, 
 
 * She ne't r at nights should Carlops see, 
 « Met tae^zV some a pirn 
 
 Tae ivindj 'ore day ; 
 
 * Like mony a ane in LIntoun town 
 
 * Wi' feeiit a snood or &c. 
 
 Hue— hac 1 
 
 See in Dr Pennecuik*s Works, The Des- 
 cription of TiveeddalCt * Of its Inhabi- 
 tants,' Notes, 
 
 Then rifted^ gapan', wi' a skreed, 
 
 * He'll win 
 or boat;—- 
 after And thns to say 3 
 
 ' Can th' morning-dreams I thrice last 
 night 
 « Saw, thus, sae sum pruive true ! 
 
 < That I gaed out by the moon-light, 
 « Our cottar'd lint tae view. 
 
 * And a Soo-thiitle, risan' bright, 
 
 * Three staps advansed tae pu' 
 
 < Frae 'mang 't, whan, to my wondering 
 sight, 
 
 ' Before this I could do 
 
 It dee'd away I 
 
 * l^hnt Peter Pork had, visloncd, come 
 ' l^r-st in his suitor's suit, 
 
 6a. 
 
 9- 
 
 65. 
 
 39- 
 
 6<<. 
 
 6. 
 
 68. 
 
 14. 
 
 69. 
 
 4- 
 
 7^- 
 
 9- 
 
160 
 
 Page 71. line 9. read * Tae win, wl' me, the tochercd sutii 
 
 * Into his purse (ae put 
 
 * My father's daughter "twonld become 
 
 * And Wedding set on foot •, 
 
 * But, 'ore he'd wrote the epiilurn, 
 
 * It stack ! tie Soo ran tbrotigh't .' 
 
 Ai;d sick he lay 
 
 ' Up Ilhed then, wi' gratan* sound, 
 •' The Soo^s tail tae Geordy .'" 
 
 * Ilk spitefu', scoffan\ scraper round, 
 
 * And ballad- singer sturdy ! 
 
 * Frae mouth tae mouth ♦* Sco^s tails 
 
 rebound, 
 
 * Frae Alshinder tae Purdie! 
 
 * Whul' this my Love I thought bed 
 
 bound, 
 
 * Lay comforted by Swordic, 
 
 ' And h'ard them p^ay 
 
 * That when the rue had cured my spleen 
 
 * And with it his disease, 
 
 ' And we some years had married becnj 
 
 * Whar' I was makan' cheese, 
 
 * A hogshead fu' o' whig was seen, 
 
 * AVi* hogbeans in't and pease, 
 
 * At whilk tae get he was sae teen 
 
 * He sank ! but clamb wi' case 
 
 « The Milky-way > 
 
 * Whan In cam* a prelatic spy, 
 
 * Wi' 'g curate and dragoon, 
 
 < 'Ore he gat out, that, yap and dry, 
 
 * The puncheon's lid pushed down, 
 
 * And set me, callous to the cry 
 
 * Within, on 't him aboon 
 
 < In the bog's-head, hog.bea?iSt and ivbey 
 
 * Syne sieghed, and swilled, and soon 
 
 Took a' away 
 
 « My Pork ! Ah ! Guid ha'e care o' &c. 
 75, 5. after This Market- Day 
 
 « "Nf hen by himself detected thus, 
 
 * Bumbazed wi' guilt and fear, 
 
 • Suin vanish, vanquished then by ui, 
 < In smoke he'll disappear 
 
161 
 
 Page 73, line 5* r#.ii * Down to the flames of Tartarus ; 
 
 * There endless tortures bear; 
 
 * Hct Iron Jiuits his bones shall crush,. 
 
 * Steel Thumbibins shall tear 
 
 1 heir joints in twac, 
 
 * Wi* Claverhonse^ and daft BaHiel, 
 ' To drive the wedge, and skrew, 
 
 * With fury strike th' infernal meii, 
 
 * And turn the handle too, 
 
 * Regardless of the ceaseless yell ! 
 
 * The blow an J squeeze that drew, 
 « Will cause resound the rocks of hcii, 
 
 * They'll ever these renew 
 
 For 's deeds this day, 
 
 « When by the judgment of Midas, 
 
 * Confined within his jugs, 
 
 * Enraged to see, as in a glass, 
 
 * His own discerning lugs, 
 
 * Stript of the honours of an ass, 
 
 ' His ears shall, short's a bug's, 
 
 * Have cropt a shable or cutlass, 
 
 * For giving mine such rugs 
 
 This Market-Day. 
 
 < I heard you goosy ! goosy ] &c, 
 
 74. 1 5, ^/'^^ Myselflllgaes 
 
 < Even *< Satan's World Invisidie** 
 
 * Should I again go through, 
 
 * And shudderan' search, if possible, 
 
 * A ivitcb 1*11 find for you, 
 
 < ShtU nip, where he's maist sensible, 
 
 * Him a* o'er black and blue, 
 
 * For ruggan' yours responsible, 
 
 * Shall rive, and gar him rue, 
 His lugs in twac 1»— 
 
 ' Your pity, and your zeal, my Love, 
 
 * Me pierces to the qnick, 
 
 * And Orpheus like me soon would move, 
 « Were you in darkness thick, 
 
 ' To bring you to the light above, 
 « Could I use fiddle-stick 
 
 « JLikehIm; though you forget, my Dove, 
 *' No luitcb durst pinch auld Nic» 
 
 £ut would bis fae t'««» 
 
162 
 
 Page 74. line 16. reai*^ Oh hon | Wf a* thae helps my Dear, 
 
 ♦ We'll surely get redress, 
 
 * Tho^ maims, nor deadly wounds appear 
 
 * About you, as I guess, 
 
 • If hut for the affront, and fear, 
 
 * The danger, and distress, 
 
 * In sic a plight made you rin here, 
 
 * And linket like an S, 
 
 Lie roond *s a C 1' 
 
 Thus Grumphy*s wife to him &c. 
 
 M^, ct. a^tcr and Jiight^ he turns round ftom the 
 
 croivd for respitet and the tmdi%turhed 
 enjoyment of self-gratification, and re^ 
 JlectioVt — exuhingJy, lets out, and gets 
 quit of, his ill-humour^ — ho"ju he at 
 (jiicc reliives his own uneasiness, and 
 the solicitude of his friends; — be again 
 pie sent s himself, — Miller Scwuel the 
 tivC'less black-faced tup gets \^c, 
 
 j^^ after mad Squintum^Sy — it ends ivith a 
 
 '' yawn! which infects^ and is returned 
 
 by, the audience, — its reception a friend* 
 ly omen,— -he resolves to remain, and 
 as he is in defianC9 of his dishabille, — 
 his hearers approve of bis spirit, 
 
 a6. ^fi^f '^^^' summer's day : 
 
 As cattle from their byres let out. 
 
 And steeds frae stables freed, 
 And hounds frae kennels, jovial rout ! j 
 
 Or that in sport succeed, I 
 
 And pointers loosed frae couples stout. 
 
 Or gained their master's meed 
 When puss is shot before their snout. 
 
 Their joy, and pride, in deed 
 
 Show forcibly 
 
 By tkeir libations liberal poured, 
 
 Or, grateful, on the ground. 
 With Jortune-favoured.facc, or showered 
 
 Against aught near them found, 
 Ard other beasts, by luck empowered. 
 
 Themselves thus greet, around, 
 When eased, elate, and still i.nscoured, 
 
 To "vcnt emotions bound 
 
 ,ComplacentIy, 
 
163 
 
 page 76. line %6i read So, to cujoy his self-delight, 
 And heighten it retired. 
 To the Kirk-wall, behind him bright^ 
 
 His face, with sweat bemired, 
 Turned round, and stood, th* elated 
 wight, 
 As ease, and quiet, required. 
 And softly whistled, sweet that might 
 ^ Quenched heat, as it expired, 
 
 Drain smooth away : 
 
 Abated thus his feelings fell. 
 
 And into gladness past. 
 That, both by warning sound and smell, 
 
 He was concluding fast. 
 And all his thoughts wt re running well, 
 
 A pain-relieving blast 
 His rear blew next forth loud to tell ; 
 
 Then turned his face, at last, 
 
 in full display; 
 
 Not now dejected, as of yore, 
 
 But quite another thing j 
 Whilst at the unexpected roar. 
 
 The tidings charged to bring. 
 And suffocating stench it bore, 
 
 Ilk dee her apron-string, 
 And herd his breek-band tight had torc% 
 
 As hands held-noses wring. 
 
 Long laughter fr3C [ 
 
 Ere thi5, pour mHler Samuel &c, 
 
 ^^ ^ after proud of It ; and to have had a corn 
 
 '"' ^ • Mill oil bis Lintoun Lairdship, which, 
 
 as well as his small flo» k of sheep, in- 
 disptnstble even on a few of the barren 
 icres of those days, he managed, when 
 in the country, himself. If any of the 
 small Gentry or cock-Lairds, then, 
 could boast of a Mill on his estate, he 
 was often his own miller, and fsom his 
 nick-rvames, and speeeh, Samuel in par- 
 ticular, besides the pleasure he took 
 in his sheep, seems to have delighted 
 and exulted in his Mill, to decorate the 
 dam of which, as ^ell as to bathe and 
 refresh them during the long Autumn 
 
164 
 
 Fjigc 79. line 36. read vacation, and be under his own an 
 his clerk !>''nald's eye, he may perhaf 
 have brought the C>gnr»s when not i 
 Edinbuv-gh, and residing at his ses 
 near Lintoim. 
 
 80. 16. 
 
 * ITi lay !> 
 
 3^' after Or turn away 
 
 * He, brcek-less, bare-legged, in a boin, 
 
 * A wab o claith can wauk, 
 
 * And tiirhtly tramp beside the Lyne, 
 
 * Wi' walth o' heelandtalk, 
 ' Nay, if 'tis wove o' linen fine, 
 
 * Can bleach it white as c*aik, 
 
 * Tse sheets and shirts even sew it syne, 
 
 ' For Donald is nae gawk, 
 
 In his ain way 
 
 * He milks my cows, and mucks my byr< 
 
 * And herds, and shears na* ill, 
 
 , « My peat- stack biggs, and mends m 
 fire 
 
 * Whan I am wat , or chill, 
 
 * And whan, at nights, I'm like tae tire, 
 
 * I drink tx's fiddlings shrill ; 
 
 * But what I maist o' a' admire, 
 
 * He serves baith kiln and mill, 
 
 Whan I'm awaj 
 
 I Poor Bareskin, Greenshawps, Toon: 
 and 6ic. 
 ti, 9* after Wi' sour-milk-whc) 
 
 * War, than our wanderan' Whigs afieh 
 ' That crap frac place tTn place, 
 
 ' Their late Conventicles tse beild 
 
 * Frae persecution's face, 
 
 * Got, whan, tae Tories forced tae yieli 
 
 * And Prelacy's grimace, 
 
 * Cald sour-milks-cheese thsir tripes coi 
 
 gealed, 
 
 * Wi' traik, by way of grace. 
 
 For loosening whc^ 
 
 llku.. 
 
165 
 
 'age 8i. line> rtad • War than the skimmed-milk-kirncd 
 sae puir, 
 
 * That got, wi' *« mustie cheese,'* 
 « Our « Royal Troops" on the King's^ 
 
 Muir 
 « Their loyalty tae please, 
 
 * And, tae mak' room for courage, scour 
 < Them clean frae a' disease, 
 
 * Wi' water mixt, thin, dow'd, and sour, 
 
 * Their cravings tae appease 
 Last month of May : 
 
 * As they had little business, 
 
 * Though weell they temporized, 
 
 < Tae keep themselves frae a' distress, 
 « And ay the buinmost prized, 
 
 * They Donald gar'd their victuals dress, 
 
 * Knives clean, and, methodized, 
 ■* The plates and spoons place in their 
 
 press, 
 
 * And swoop dirt pulverized 
 Ilk morning gray ; 
 
 / * Whan pinched, they sent him whiles 
 
 about 
 
 * Conventicles tae find, 
 , Conventiclcrs tae ferret out 
 
 * Through ilk stay closs and wynd ; 
 
 < He kept in view their howf, or route, 
 
 * Till such were seized or fined, 
 
 * Or tortured with the wedge and boot ; 
 
 * On dainties then they dined, 
 On Donald's pay ; 
 
 * Thus gained, and by informing well, 
 
 * The *« Circuit Courts" t' employ, 
 
 * With curates, clerks, Graham^ and BaU 
 %iel, 
 
 * *' Field meetings" to annoy, 
 
 * Frae forfeitures, to '* Risings'' quell 
 
 * And sources to destroy, 
 
 * Large ** Porteous Rolls** their stomachi 
 swell 
 
 * And porter they enjoy, 
 For whigs and wheyj: 
 
 * Frae thcra tae aid MacLimp he &c. 
 
166 
 
 Page 8 1 . line 27. read after Whan Dady's gv) 
 
 < Had I my doughty Donald near 
 
 * He'd keep you a' in glee, 
 
 * He'd Whig or Tory join, frae fear, 
 
 * Gain, or civility, 
 
 « Though a bit henpeckt body qu.ecr, 
 
 * Could I but Donald see, 
 
 * For bogle-ba, at whilk tac fleer, 
 « Suin hale and clean I'd be 
 
 Frac tap to tac \ 
 
 ' But since dhu Donald's no' in sight, 
 
 * And kitchen Kate's sae thrawn, 
 « Nor he is here tae sort me right, 
 
 * Nor she will lend her han', 
 
 * And I am doomed to be, till night, 
 
 * Thus rump-shorn as 1 Stan', 
 
 « Wi^ my dumbarton yet undight',* 
 Ends Samuel, wi' a yanun ! 
 
 * Weell,— be it sae S 
 
 As nane will catch another's gawnt 
 
 Who bears tae him a grudge. 
 Or chafts then be sae complaisant 
 
 Their stations frae to budge, 
 Suin that o' friends he had nae want 
 
 He gat proofs frae to j udge, 
 By yawnings dreegh significant, 
 
 And mouths dilating huge, 
 
 Round every way, 
 
 Frae carles and carlines, side by side. 
 
 His story near him drew, 
 And bound its issue to abide« 
 
 A' ready so to do. 
 By foilowan' his hiatus wide 
 
 With imitations true, 
 To hail its close, their welcome guide, 
 
 And their assent thereto 
 
 Thus to convey : 
 
 Of oscitancic honours full 
 
 Frae ilk exhausted quiz 
 Whose jaws, wi back reclining scull. 
 
 By gaping suppled is, 
 
167 
 
 Page ii. liii« t;. read Which roused frae dotled d(>zings dull 
 That lang deep yawn oi his, 
 Wi* scorn the Tup turned fi ac his trull ; 
 A* cheered his ending, viz, 
 
 • Wccll,— be it sae •• 
 
 .J4. i^* ofter He M huff iway ; 
 
 * When those behind should march more 
 
 fast, 
 
 • And those in front more slow, 
 
 * Or in quick time and strain bumbast, 
 
 • Or with protracted flow, 
 
 * Like thunder from charged cloud out- 
 
 cast, 
 
 • Stern signaU with a throe 
 
 » Restorative, shall Nicol's blast, 
 
 • A«tcrn, to order, blow I — 
 
 * Then Samuel say ?'— 
 
 First pii'an* aff his stoojy hat^ 
 
 Then dustan* weell his hair 
 That smelt wi* snufl'like mustard pat 
 
 Unltded to the air, 
 Wi* grusomc grunche, as ruefu* rat 
 
 Made tail -less by a snare. 
 And swcered, yet willing when so pat 
 
 Revenge before him fair 
 
 Thus tempting layi 
 
 Whan he had ficlged and fyked awcc. 
 
 And gi*en himsel* a claw, 
 And glunshed *Hoot'. hoot!' and stood 
 a jee 
 
 Tae ballancc what the law 
 Laid down * to be or not to be,* 
 
 And on*t his cud tae chaw. 
 The rule on this, his doubts to free, 
 
 At length relieved, and a' 
 
 Round, thus, made gay, 
 
 - , ^ ProvokM,' says Samuel, < I &c. 
 
 '*"• ^°- Before the twact 
 
 after Triumph ^-^he mount Jt cocky -ridy- 
 
 roosy, on Samuei*j ibouldertt-^givct 
 
 the Signal to mo^g ^^^-^Tbe J^roca* 
 
 ' Jton \^t* 
 
 %%, 1. 
 
168 
 
 PtgC 85. liic 3. nad^^fter 'Midst rowt«, and ba*ay! 
 
 The miller, stooping, wi* his hands 
 
 Supported by his knees. 
 His bended back presenting, stands 
 
 Wi* his untheeked thees. 
 And crouchan* high till Nicon lands, 
 
 Wi* climb, push, haul, and heeze, 
 Abuin't, hclpt by the Loyal Bands, 
 
 1 hen rase, peghed, hitched, and seized 
 His ancles twse ; 
 
 Like Stork that eels or snakes has guz- 
 zled 
 And gulpt o'er whole alive, 
 That, by their slippenness, sare purzled. 
 
 Whan through tae get they strive 
 The conduits foul they've bored and nmz» 
 zted, 
 Expectan' tae revive, 
 His Uil claps tae a wa*, that, muzzled. 
 It, squeezed, may back them drive, 
 
 Or stop their way. 
 
 The Ass, OQ Samuers neck behind. 
 
 In view of present need, 
 By pressure close, as 'twas designed, 
 
 Ot its escape in dread. 
 Contrived that not a pufF o' wind. 
 
 Should frae its hold be freed, 
 So that, collected to his mind. 
 
 The miller to proceed 
 
 Stood patiently, 
 
 When backward wrigglings, crushingt, 
 bears, 
 
 With sidelong hoggings hard. 
 His sconce enclosed, that scarce appears, 
 
 Attracting his regard. 
 Till, suddenly, behind his ears. 
 
 That made them ring, a raird, 
 Sxploding downward, blow he hears 
 
 The Signal, all prepared, 
 
 Tae more away ! 
 
 nciross skirtless Samuel's shoulders 8if* 
 *D. lA. scarce that 
 
169 
 
 Pig* pi' litie 17. read disunion. Buejjet. and begin a new ^a* 
 r a graph with Tumultuous 
 p2» 9. In brue 
 
 10. Pow-sowdy, 
 
 11, trotters, puddings hot, 
 aj. Crookshank in 
 
 %A, it is likewise 
 
 ar, within a thin 
 
 36. indeed excellent* cleanly, 
 95» 20. Solemn League ; 
 
 a?. ^/if^/' Of Charles's day. 
 
 When proud Suprcmancy, the Ccsi, 
 
 A Primate's insolence. 
 Free quartering Troops, with leave t'op* 
 press, 
 
 Sedition the pretence, 
 Compoundings, Fines, the Bults, the Bass, 
 
 Skrews, to force evidence 
 By Thumbikens, still used, alas > 
 
 To blacken innocence 
 
 All bore the sway \ 
 
 The Cross, on which his &c. 
 ^^. See also the Notes in Dr Pcnnecuik^t 
 
 Works, on the &c. 
 9^. 20. toward the 
 
 CARLO? GREEN. 
 
 Page 1 10. line a. read frae runs 
 
 116. 20. after Can open cither eye; 
 
 Frae 'neath his bonnet, glrdle-braid» 
 Wi* draughty dawts and deep 
 
 Coaxed out hid thoughts, can faces read» 
 And into secrets peep. 
 
 And there's seen selHsh short &c. 
 
 117. 30. south side 
 
 J 18. 7. Sa'therren, 
 
 X ip* i^ after Like Hamlet's father's ghost, 
 
 Or spectre thin, of vapours vag«c, 
 That heady vapours raise, 
 
 Or mi^ty apparition tall 
 Mysterious to amaze. 
 
iro 
 
 ?»ge iij. lint 5» readi Tn hazes shrouded on the hill, 
 
 Or moon-light moor, or glen. 
 Or mazy spirit-stirring wood, 
 Or phantom-forming den. 
 
 When fear with superstition's eye, 
 Unconscious, to the brain 
 
 Its own creations wild returns 
 As if embodied plain ; 
 
 And brankct baughlan' Butter Bags, 
 Wi' oily face and bright, 
 
 Wha«e grease and size, like candlcdlpr, 
 Spreads downward ffcC the light, 
 
 "Whase taperan' tallow tynea Its bulk, 
 And mare contracted grows , 
 
 Up fr?c his larded greasy kuits 
 To 's fiery shinan' nose : 
 
 The hirplan', short, smith-body, &u 
 fto, 4. f^ft^r A hole in, at a well : 
 
 And the short Chelsea pension er 
 Juist like a bunch o' rags, 
 
 How he defended, in his duds, 
 The Castle 0' CloQts that brags, 
 
 And kept his tinkler wife and wean?, 
 And cuddy there, in spite 
 
 O' a' the Edinburgh City Guards, 
 And its great owner's might, 
 
 Though fiercely summoned to dislodge. 
 Oft bot^ with bribe and shore, 
 
 The vault they'd seized t' evacuate, 
 Or to unbolt its door; 
 
 That till they banned a young Mons-Me» 
 
 Should bring them to subjection. 
 Not one durst enter to I'he Hotnt 
 To take them of Correction : 
 
 And here's great joiner &c. 
 I94t aif r#w(?w(i<^) to the end of 1. 12, p. 125, after 
 wheety-whats ;• (16) and the Not« to the 
 kottom of p. 1^5. 
 
171 
 
 Paffc 1 24, line 23. read gaugcrs and in the Note 2^10 gauxfrs ^ 
 135. 20. after The words * at ony rate ;' 
 
 A»d Crazy, Sugar's hccpy herd, 
 That collies, bairns, and sheep, 
 Wi* tar and butter smears, afF cald, 
 Lice, reef, and scabs, t* keep, 
 
 The feck o' every year on traik, 
 Wi* *s traiket wife, thai feeds. 
 
 And bubbly-nosed, foulbluided bratf, 
 Wi* aca*d and hairless heads ; 
 
 And glaiked Glib &c. 
 "4» after Conviction to convey, 
 
 •^ The caper. noitcd chcild that builds 
 
 But by the thtjomb and ce. 
 And ne'er is led by line and rule 
 A» every fool should be ; 
 
 And Slow « sx did it' that &c. 
 1 26. 4. after Frae 's house ta pit him out ; 
 
 And Stainy-path's great dykcr braw, 
 T« lay things rightly down, 
 
 Wi' '5 plan cased like a blunderbu<S| 
 That cadges up and down 
 
 Upon his master's mucklc mcere. 
 As oft 's she can be spared, 
 
 TsB shaw his gen'us, and gar reives 
 Think he '8 for them prepared. 
 
 Whan o'er the Thief road* j^ stainy path, 
 Up Cairn-nmir^ cairps o' stanes, 
 
 Through Cald-stane-Siack, jogs-tumbling 
 north. 
 She shores tac break his banes ^ 
 
 For *tis a'c thing 'gainst sheep tae fence, 
 
 As civil engineer, 
 Anither tae clear stanes and caixns 
 
 Safe on a civil meere 
 
 That, like a trained good catholic, 
 Oft fa's upon her knees, 
 
 Oft mak's her rider prostrate to#, 
 Aud frae hi* weight gets case, 
 
 Qs 
 
Pagt 1265 1^*** 4* rfad, Tac ane that kens-na* how to sit. 
 Save that *t should he astride, 
 Plies head, hands, legs, to stay himself, 
 Mair than his beast to guide 2 
 
 Here *8 frae Blair-hgg &c. 
 f 3» ofter For cheese and Bread, like mice; 
 
 And gathered Gaherlunzic come 
 
 Tae seek a lass to wed, 
 And get his aid worn ditching-tools 
 
 0*er wi* new iron laid ; 
 
 And Gawfer, wi' his cutty Sec, 
 a4* ilade 
 X%Z» 3. Girn-again Goblin, 
 
 C. after 'Twixt the loch and the glyn, 
 
 The Lech where on its bottom deep 
 
 Its kelpy's cot remain*, 
 The Glvn where the Kow-craig at night« 
 
 Still bogle-kows retains ; 
 
 And trig TamThoomb*s son that can dance 
 * Cutty-spoon and tree-ladle,' 
 
 Cut caorioles and curvets heegh 
 While playan* on his fiddle, 
 
 ^i* j"ggl"» merry nimble feats, 
 Queer puddock-loups o'er backs^ 
 
 Droll tricks, whan Fate and Ro;ger*siphyed , 
 And sangs, atween the Acts, 
 
 Tae geegles, girns, loud-clappan' hands. 
 And gawfs frae young and bauld. 
 
 And rifts, and whuasts frae baith their 
 ends, 
 And heghs ! and wows ! frae auld , 
 
 And ithers teach tae kick and fling. 
 And caper plunge and rise, 
 
 Like St irks whan stanged, on swcltry 
 days, 
 Tha( frisk tae clegs and flies. 
 
 And slide boo, bindge, and whirl, In time, 
 And hats and bonnets doff, 
 
173 
 
 Fagc 1 28, line 6. r^^^/, Though soor look sweet, ayont th6T teeth» 
 But not like grinnan' oaf, 
 
 And mind their lessons whul* he ha*ds 
 
 Their hands and guides their feet 
 Tae hornpipe steps, thus, singan* slow 
 
 «' One-tivb three! ihuffl^-shuffie ? ' sweet j. 
 
 And, smirkan', wi* his bonnet &c. 
 '«• after Sae sleeky, and sac slcc; (32) 
 
 W? hisg enteelly gifted ion 
 The Nightingale by name 
 
 Whase scholards draunt sae wecll * O-Mo' 
 tber-dea r^ye-ru-ja-iem /* 
 
 And, near hini, greetan' &c, 
 J8» rf/ir^r That rakes the .iwss sae weell : 
 
 And twa cheilds bearan* Dumby deaf, 
 Frae Lintoun brought, for lame. 
 
 Upon her barrow-palanquin, 
 Like cross-legged eastern dame, 
 
 For meal, whan she their fates had signed, 
 Fu^ glad to set her down 
 
 And leave her at their neighbour's door 
 Tae get her frae their own. 
 
 Though, ance, whan threatened, for a 
 cheat, 
 
 Tae be laid up and whipt, 
 'Tis said she first for mercy begged. 
 
 Then frae her barrow skipt, 
 
 Tae mawkin turned, and skelpt safi fast 
 Aff frae the beagles' reach. 
 
 They nor could, by their sight nor scent, 
 Gr trace her scut or breech. 
 
 The glamour o'er their een she'd flung 
 Made them sae doiled and blind, 
 
 But barrow, blanket, and meal-pock, 
 They gat, she'd left behind ; 
 
 And Lcxy Lauther frae Law-head 
 Wi* staff arrivan' slow. 
 
174 
 
 Page lis. line 3. read That covered wi» her mound o» elects, 
 Is scarcely seen below 
 
 The load her back she dooms tae bear. 
 Like snail's beneath its shell, 
 
 And Indian pagan penitent's, 
 Her clothes,-.bed,— oft, her cell: 
 
 The Icean' Loon, frae Logan-honsc, 
 That herds about the fa* 
 
 Below Carnethic*s earned tap 
 Abuin the Howlet's-ha' 
 
 Here tells tae what great gouks hc*d 
 shawn. 
 Come ferlies there tae see, 
 Z5^^^"^ and Symon's houses, each, 
 The found o* a sheep-ree ; 
 
 For birks a wee bit scrunty row*n. 
 That near't nae witch may win ; 
 
 yor bathing pool, a dub for ducks ; 
 Instead of * little lin* 
 
 ' Wi* singan' din*, a lofty steep, 
 A' bare and barren round, 
 
 Down which a streamlet glides into 
 Rough stanc», with plashing sound ; 
 
 And gar'd them feel sae satisfied. 
 
 Frae these, 'twas * Habbie's How* 
 They'd seen, they filled his luifs wi* cash 
 
 For empty thanks and bow : 
 
 .,• ^. Here's Luggie, the snibbed Sutor's kc, 
 
 •2«. %U after Distillers frae Guue^dihs; 
 
 And Poachy, near the wood that wons, 
 The loch between and hill. 
 
 In pounds that powthcr buys tae blaw, 
 In winter, hares tae kill, 
 
 And paitrlcks, grouse, woodcocks and 
 snipe?. 
 
 And cushy.do'es, at yule. 
 And at a great goose, or braw duke. 
 
 Or sic»likc precious fool, 
 
175 
 
 Page laS line 22. r^zi, Esteemed because It's rich and rare, 
 Though not for daily cheer, 
 Tac show a6f feasts, Hke cakes and bunst 
 At Christmas and New- Year ; 
 
 And the gleg host o* Venter-fare^ 
 
 In english Belly "timber ^ 
 That travellers' kytes wi* haggise* heave*,, 
 
 Then vents their purses limber, 
 
 Whan he has dosed them wi* gnid drink, 
 
 Tae gar his fare digest, 
 Till, fu' twa venterk out o» three. 
 
 Their lawm *s never mist, 
 
 TheyVe a* sae happy, he's sae kind, 
 They seldom dream tae specr 
 
 Gif what they pay |or in his bills 
 Was got, or \ cheap or dear » 
 
 And Freetock, wi* his &c 
 lip, icu (i/ter On yad wi* sunks astraddle, 
 
 That, led by her maternal care. 
 Whene'er she calls tae mind 
 
 Her foal, loud nighers for*t, left, in 
 The stable lockt behind. 
 
 Her mane, lugs, head, feet, tail, raised^ 
 heegb,^ 
 
 Wi' ccn and nostrils wide. 
 And prances Jock »maist aff her back, 
 
 Kytch'd till her fits subside, ' 
 
 * That often frets, foams, draunts, and 
 
 pumps. 
 And frae her belly clunks, 
 An excellent sign ! whan, after drink, 
 She trots wi* butter. trunks, 
 
 Or sour-milk-bai rels, tac Embrae Cross, 
 The Laird's, like Trojan Horse, 
 
 Frae 's wame, whan walkan*^gi'an' groans, 
 Whul' trottan' mak*9 him worse, 
 
 Unless,, at times, that they may cease, 
 Frae his vexation kind, 
 
176 
 
 Tift 1 zp» line thready His Honour's spur gars sudden start 
 f '■ Afford relief behind, 
 
 With louder sound than Laocoon's spear. 
 On doing good, when sent 
 
 Into the wooden charger's side 
 Extracted from his vent ; 
 
 And Lcddy fine, on palfrey white, 
 Gabriel ahint, the grieve, 
 
 Braid sittan' on her cushion saft, 
 His waist by ha'dan' stceve, 
 
 And whiipan* hard, tac quicken the rump 
 The nag o*, tac gar't steer 
 
 Whan like tae sink beneath the load 
 O* J-eddy, grieve, and Stc. 
 
 havfran* giUy-ganvpy^ 
 
 snubbed hcn>peckt 
 
 ipiuning: on its iron point with a strings 
 
 pad and graith, 
 
 ajttr Beside the Carlop Rocks ; 
 
 Tabitha wi*^ her tabby cats, 
 Frae round her ingle-save. 
 
 For a gitid-neifihbour ta*en because 
 She's wiser than the lave, 
 
 And warlock stories tells sae weell 
 O' ghaists and goblins lean 
 
 At Barrie's tove, the caldrons, craigt, 
 Or Carlop^s hill or dean, 
 
 O' dwarfs like ancient painted Peghs 
 Lanicntan' o'er their urns, 
 
 And whiles o* Fairies green about 
 The glimmeran' glens and burnt ; 
 
 Bauld Hcnny Helface, whan &c. 
 12. afttr V/hul* cripple Kate can stare, 
 
 Frajl Kitty, frae the cutty-stool 
 That coudna* lang refrain, 
 
 Although she ettled every year, 
 >«'c'cr to sit there again j 
 
 129. 
 
 »5- 
 
 16. 
 
 130. 
 
 3^- 
 5. 
 
 10. 
 
177 
 
 The brosy Black.blrd, and the ki. 
 Page S4alinef t. rcnd.-^fter • By force to take it all : 
 
 * 'Tis 1^aturi*s Lanju, and anarchy 
 
 * Will trespasies chastise, 
 
 * That folk, as well as flock and herd, 
 
 * Should strength and wisdom prize, 
 
 * Shouldofthemscives create a chief 
 
 * With counsellors to act, 
 
 * And freely give to every man 
 
 * The place his parts exact ; 
 
 * Each plant in woods even holds its state 
 
 * As ranks its gifted powers, 
 
 ' Support or shelter gets or gives, 
 
 * Creeps, climbs, vies, ycilds, o'cr- 
 
 towcrs 5 
 
 * Without gradations hive nor horde, 
 
 * Could with effect proceed, 
 
 * What would a hundred legs and arms 
 
 * Avail, without a head ? 
 
 * Your mobs at levellan' Democrats 
 
 * Uy their aiii deeds detect 
 
 « The frenzy of their schemes when forc'd 
 
 * A leader to elect, 
 
 * When, at the very time they're met 
 
 * T* obtain equality, 
 
 * To act, they first a chief must choose, 
 ' And offer to obey, 
 
 * Nay, if their captain's seized or shot, 
 
 * Raise and submit again 
 
 ' They must, or part, and, subjects still, 
 
 * Serving and served, remain ! 
 
 * But to wild beasts, to deserts driven 
 « To prowl for prey alone, 
 
 * Foes to each other's wills and Wants, 
 
 * Equality is known ; 
 
 * Save we except the Arab to©, 
 
 * The robber, and outlaw. 
 
178 
 
 « Dead to those feelings that respect, 
 
 • Frae worth and wisdom draw; 
 
 ' Though these themselves, James, prove, 
 when forced 
 
 • For strength into a band, 
 
 • Self-taught, that their success requires 
 
 • A Captain, to command : 
 
 • Besides, at ance, your levelling would 
 ' ^Destroy all soul and Ice. 
 
 l^age 157. line 6. read at mess, 
 165. a8. and fined. 
 
 THE END. 
 
YA 01921