COLONIAL BOOK STORE 12S GREEN ST. WORCESTER. MASS. A(\ ^,^x /P^ J^rj^-ja^ ^y (M^^i WAPvNING TO LOVEI\S ^l^-\N\/A^ \\\ f! TO sU <& u NEW DODD,MEAD 1906 "~^i^ SAUCE FOKTHE GOOSE is SAUCE FOKTHE GANDER? PAUL LEICESTERJOR^ AUTHOIV.OF JANICE MEREDITH" ^WANTED, A MATCHMAKEK" ETC. WITH ILLUSTRATIONS BY ^4ix HENKT HUTT J|% AND DECORATIONS BY T.M.CLELAND Copyright, 1898 By PAUL LEICESTER FORD Copyright, 1906 By DODD, MEAD AND COMPANY Published, September, 1906 The University Press, Cambridge, U. S. A. ILLUSTRATIONS Frontispiece " Won t Freddy s mother be sending his nurse for him if he stays much later? " 22 " I m not a child, and I won t be deared by you " 44 " It took those two over four times longer to come down than it had taken them to go up " . . . . 66 A " This occupied some time, but the clock never told on them " . . . 86 A WARNING LOVERS tv A WARNING TO LOVERS EFORE some blazing logs, which fill a deep fireplace with warmth that overflows to just the right extent into the room, stands, slightly skewed, a sofa. The sofa is a comfortable one. It is short, deep, and low; and the arms have a suggestion of longing to be filled that is truly (itwrniii" /i^M^I -. A WARNING TO LOVERS seductive. In addition, two down cushions imply that the sofa is quite prepared to fit itself to any figure, be it long, short, broad, or narrow. Altogether, it is a most satisfactory sofa. But the satisfactoriness does not end here. Seated at one end of that sofa is a girl, clearly in that neither grass nor hay period, which begins at sixteen and ends at eighteen. Not that it is in tended to suggest that because the girl is neither hay nor grass she is unattractive. Quite the A WARNING TO LOVERS reverse. New-mown hay is the sweetest, and the girl, if neither child nor woman, is, in her way, just as sweet. In algebra, when a, b, and c are computed, it is possible to find the unknown quantity x. Applying an algebraic formula to the above, we at once deduce what is necessary to complete the factors. It may be stated thus : a, a sofa, plus b, a charm ing girl , and as a t a sofa, must be divided by two, we find the unknown quantity to be x, a ^ j^Hjl y^^yMW Tv^/ V/^T ^aMW (t ^^y^^-^w^ ] ^n ^^// /T^vV ^v^r^^k i l^^/f ^^bWl^T^/> ^^^^AA^m^S^j ^vt^Sv ^^^^i^M^^wi ^^^f^^^^/^ & A WARNING TO LOVERS man, and the product of our a, b, and x to equal xxx, or triple bliss. Nor is this wrong. The sofa does not do more than seat two people comfortably, yet at I the present moment there are little spaces at both ends. Con cerning the other details of this a -T- 2 + b + x o (L e. Mrs. Grundy), it seems needless to enlarge. "And isn t it wonderful, Freddy, that you should love me and I should love you?" cooed the girl. A< A WARNING TO LOVERS "Just out of sight," replied Freddy. J Most people would agree with the above remarks, though the circumstance of a man and if t u woman occasionally loving each other is a phenomenon recog nised, if not approved, by science. But though these two did not know it, there was a wonder here. Freddy has been spoken of in the masculine gender, be cause, as Shakespeare wrote : "The Lord made him, therefore let him pass for a man." Other- m^ u*m ^ i A WARNING TO LOVERS wise his manliness was open to debate. Lovable the girl unques tionably was, or at least very fast --~yj> / J <cVA^> verging upon it, but it passeth human intelligence how Freddy ^ j could inspire any sort of feeling except an intense longing for a gun loaded with goose-shot. "And that we should have loved each other for so long, and never either of us dreamed that we cared one little bit for each other," continued the girl. Freddy did not assent to this sentiment as readily as to the A WARNING TO LOVERS former. Freddy had been quite ., . it, sure that Frances had been pining for his love in secret for some months. So he only remarked: "We got there all the same." v \\ If\ ^j.i^3-~^i.*-^ \ "Yes," assented Frances. "And TV * //" we ll love each other always, now." " But I say," inquired Freddy, "what do you think your father and mother will say ? " Why, they 11 be delighted cried the girl. "It couldn t be better. Cousins, and just the same age and, and Oh, 9 JT ,-K A WARNING TO LOVERS lots of other reasons, I m sure, but I can t think of them now." "Let s tell them together," suggested Freddy, courageously. "Freddy! Of course not. That isn t the right way. No, you must request an interview with papa in his library, and plead eloquently with him." " I suppose I must," answered Freddy, with a noticeable limp ness in his voice and vertebras. "Wouldn t it be fun if he should refuse his consent!" ex claimed the girl. A @ s* -<%? SI) i \\^ i *^J\ii&t & <\ / i- <j) y:if7]^;x/ r^z "^Ms /ffll ( i A A f XT* feffl )tH 1k A WARNING TO LOVERS Freddy did not recognise the comical quality. " I don t see it," he moaned. " Why, it would be so roman- tic! He would of course order you to leave the house, and never, never darken his doors / r V ill k. / T again. That s what the father always does." "You think that s fun?" " Such fun ! Then, of course, we should have to arrange for romantic meetings, and secret in terviews, and you would write little letters and put them in a i /// // )// -^d Y / i 1\^X r - Zi^ 1^v^ A WARNING TO LOVERS prayer-book in our pew; and watch to get a glimpse of me as I go in and out of places; and stand on the opposite side of the street each night, till you saw the light in my room put out. Oh! What fun it will be!" "It might be raining," com plained Freddy. "All the better. That would prove your devotion. Don t you love me enough to do that ? " "Yes," said Freddy, meekly, " but I hate getting wet. Some times one catches a nasty cold." 12 BSf 1 C*Z , "V^ A WARNING TO LOVERS "Any one who tells a girl he loves her with a fervour and passion never yet equalled by man should not think of such things," asserted Frances, disapprovingly. Freddy had an idea that a girl who reciprocated such a passion should not seem so happy over the prospect of her lover under going the exposure, but the youth did not know how to express it. So he proposed: "Let s keep it ^~~ A\ ; s a secret for the present." "Let s," assented Frances. -- c >>^-- j -^-*x J^C\^ >^Y v | \\ Dwm /rOt y^mk V- \-l A WARNING TO LOVERS "We won t tell any one for a long time, but just have it all to ourselves. And when I am rid ing in the morning you must join me ; the groom will think it s all right. And whenever papa and mama are to be out in the evening, I 11 put a lamp in my window, and " Ting ! It seemed as if some of the electric current which made that distant muffled ring had switched and passed through the happy pair. Both started guiltily, and * ^ ! xwfe A WARNING TO LOVERS \ \V (LHt* U \\l >i ^^s^l then both listened with the great est intentness ; so intensely, that after a moment s pause they could hear the soft gliding sound of the footman s list slippers as they travelled down the hallway ; could hear the click of the lock as he opened the front door; could hear the murmur of voices ; could hear the door closed. Then, after a moment s silence, a voice, for the first time articulate to them, said : " I 11 wait in the morning- room." " Freddy," gasped the girl, 15 S&^L 9" A WARNING TO LOVERS "it s that horrid Mr. Potter. Quick ! " Both had arisen from the sofa, and Freddy looked about in a very badly perplexed condition. He was quite willing, but about gr- what was he to be quick ? ^-^r^Tx^.i ^O.-s 1 ^. \ \\l.f/ i. V - \p \/ n "Sit down in that chair," whispered the girl, pointing to one at a more than proper dis tance, and Freddy sprinted for it, and sat down. The girl resumed her seat on the little sofa, and putting her hands in a demure position, rather contradictory to 16 &HO p v >! /< fr^T ft\w A WARNING TO LOVERS her quick breathing and flushed cheeks, began : " As you were saying, the De Reszke brothers were the only redeeming Oh ! Good evening, Mr. Potter." " Good evening, Frances," re sponded a tall, rather slender, strong-featured man, attired in evening dress, who had leisurely strolled into the room, and who did not offer to go through the form of shaking hands. " Talk ing to the fire ? " "No. Freddy and I were chat ting about the opera." 17 -^ 4 lip ^j> \S ^4k^ v - %&A Mr. Potter put on his glasses and languidly surveyed the re gion of the fireplace. Then he x ^ s - > " I ^ / / 0^ / turned and extended his investi A WARNING TO LOVERS gation, till his eyes settled on Freddy, stuck away in the dim distance. "Oh, are you there, young ster?" he remarked, in a tone of voice implying that the question i j <- i carried no interest with it. He looked at his watch. " Is n t it rather late for you two?" "It s only quarter past ten," answered Frances, bristling indig- 18 A WARNING TO LOVERS nantly. " And if it were twelve it wouldn t make any difference." To herself she said, " How I hate that man! Just because he s thirty-four, he always treats us as if we were children ; and the way he tramples on poor, dear Freddy is outrageous!" //! v/V/^-^ You don t seem to be very sociably inclined," said Mr. Potter. " From the distance between you I should think you two chicks had been quarrelling. Come, make it up." " Not at all," cried Frances, 19 2^ A WARNING TO LOVERS indi indignantly. " I never lose my temper; except when you are here." " Is that the reason you have n t asked me to sit down ? " asked Potter, smiling. " Of course you are to sit ssH s; down, if you want," exclaimed Frances. "Here." And she moved the four inches towards her end of the sofa that had not been occupied under the previous arrangement. Mr. Potter seated himself lei surely in Freddy s old place, and M^Ml^CW, A WARNING TO LOVERS arranged one of the cushions to fit the small of his back. "I came to say good-bye to your mother," he explained, "and as r -~- w \^N I m too busy to stop in to morrow, I decided to wait. You youngsters need n t think it nec essary to sit up to entertain me. Won t Freddy s mother be send ing his nurse for him if he stays much later?" " I m so glad you are going to Europe," remarked Frances. "I hope you 11 stay a long while." Mr. Potter put his glasses on ,X^ /,,A \X/J: , . v^^S-k ;]. / ,/ \ y~^* 21 ffi. A WARNING TO LOVERS again and looked at Frances calmly. " Hello ! " he said men tally, " the kitten s learning how to hiss." Aloud he announced : i \ V / | \T /^Alr"""\ W M V f- ^ ( / "^ * " I shall be gone for only a month or two, just the voyage and a change." "What a pity!" responded Frances, bitingly. "I thought you d miss me," O J replied Mr. Potter, genially. r I t*O t^ /"*kC rrO -\tC^ Ot^ iit-^/i/lC-Tr t-v^ /vt * r\ Frances gave an uneasy move- ; ment on the sofa, a cross between an angry shake of the shoulders Won i Freddy s mother be sending his nurse lor him if lie stays much later? " A WARNING TO LOVERS "Where are you going?" questioned Freddy at this VVHI point, feeling that as a grown man he must bear his part of the chat. " Look here, littleun," said Mr. Potter, " if you expect me to talk to you back there, you- At this point he suddenly ceased speaking, as if something more interesting than his unfinished remark had occurred to him. " Freddy found it too warm by the fire," explained Frances, hastily, guilty at heart, if to out- t^ \ll^"^ A WARNING TO LOVERS ward appearance brazen. But Mr. Potter did not hear what she said, and sat looking into the fire with a suddenly serious look, which nevertheless had a laugh not very far underneath. After quite a pause, Frances said : " How entertaining you are ! " "Yes," assented Mr. Potter, coming back from his thoughts ; "I always enjoy myself, and I find that other people do the same." Then he again relapsed into meditation. A WARNING TO LOVERS " Is n t he just as horrid as can be?" raged Frances, inwardly. Wu\y^ " He believes just because some women think him clever, and be- > cause men like him, and because \\ !; SgsSssgA/Al ^7^ . ^ he s a good business man, and because mama s always praising him to his face, as she would any one who was papa s partner, that he is perfect. And no matter how you try to snub him, he is j j so conceited that he won t see it. Horrid old thing ! " Aloud she asked, "What are you thinking about?" -vm& ^CATOT *M , 5NJ^ C "\\\ " . i > ^/5fi\ vy^^x^X/x " A ^ I ^W-V \? ^-v^ /^^^-^ f, A i^^^^&^y^/w^ M;i ws^^ 1 ^^& K 1 A WARNING TO LOVERS , X / . V\VN^ , ion / ) Mr. Potter laughed. " That s a great secret," he asserted. An hour later, Mr. Potter was seated in a library, smoking, with a glass of seltzer and some thing else at his elbow. Oppo site to him sat a man of perhaps twice his years, equally equipped with a cigar and seltzer and something else. " Well," remarked the senior, " I think if we can get the whole issue at 82J and place them at !\ rCNJY H % i>^ ^mr^^^^ A WARNING TO LOVERS 87 and accrued interest, we had better do it." "That s settled then," agreed Mr. Potter. " Now, is there any thing else ? I don t want to have cablegrams following me, since I m going for a rest." "No," replied the other. "I know I shall want my partner s advice often enough, but I 11 get on without you. Take a rest. You can afford it. There s nothing else." "Then if you are through with business, I want to speak 27 at Mr. Potter quickly. " What about?" l " Do you know that that girl s grown up, and we none of us r A v:>" have realised it ? "Well?" ]l~\\ j Sj "And do you know that she has seen next to no people, A WARNING TO LOVERS to you of Frances," said Mr. Potter. Mr. De Witt turned and looked m _4V>iK , Wfflft nfir> m?* that her morning ride, her studies, and her afternoon drive with her mother are the only events of her day?" A WARNING TO LOVERS ; Well ? " "And that her summers, off in that solitary country house of yours, with never a bit of com pany but Freddy De Witt and xchfiStfti^ myself, are horribly dull and monotonous ? " " Well ? " VV Cil [ " And that to kill time she reads a great many more novels than is J good for any one?" "Come, come, Champney, what are you driving at?" " One more question. Mrs. > De Witt and you are dining out 29 zy ,-r^ ^ 7 Z2__-if.^i$^ PV ^^MU -^mf^lkM^^. A WARNING TO LOVERS almost nightly. What do you suppose Frances does evenings ? " " Does ? Plays a bit, and reads a bit, and goes to bed like a good child." "But I tell you she isn t a child any longer, so you can t expect her to behave like one. It dawned upon me this evening, and the quicker it dawns upon you the better." "Why?" " Do you want her to make a fool of herself over Freddy ? " "Freddy! At*X> 9/P* A WARNING TO LOVERS " Yes, Freddy." " Ridiculous ! Impossible ! " " Because they are a long way towards it, and if you want to end it, you 11 have to use drastic measures." " Her own cousin, and only eighteen ! I never heard of such folly." " But I tell you those two think they are in love with each other, and if you don t do some thing, they ll really become so before long. Thinking a thing is two-thirds of the way to 31 *m A WARNING TO LOVERS doing it, as is shown by the mind cure." " I 11 put an end to it at once," growled Mr. De Witt. " Never heard of such nonsense." " And how will you end it ? " inquired Mr. Potter, smiling a little. " End it ? Tell them to stop m (iFii -dtf \v their foolishness. Send him about his business." ^?O "I thought that would prob ably be your way. Don t you think it would be better to get an injunction from the courts ? " A WARNING TO LOVERS " What good would an injunc tion do ? " asked Mr. D< crossly. J "Just as much good as your method. You can no more stop s\\ V// V V -\ I v boys and girls love by calling it foolishness than the courts <?VC v" &^ can. If you do as you propose, you 11 probably have a runaway match, or some other awful bit of folly." "Well, what can I do?" " The best thing is to pack your 6 r trunks and travel a bit. That will *~ r " j ~\. * give her something else to think Vib ,^\ A WARNING TO LOVERS about, and she 11 forget all about the little chap." " But I can t leave the business." " business will run itself. Or, if it won t, what s a year s profits compared to your only daughter s life-happiness ? " "But the bonds?" " Don t bid on them." " I can t go. I can t leave my business. Why, I haven t been away from it for more than a week in forty years." " All the more reason for going now." 34 ^ ? Uf%^ A WARNING TO LOVERS "I have it. Her mother and she shall sail with you." " Oh, get out ! " ejaculated Champney, " I m going for a rest." Mr. Potter had been the slave for many years of two sel fish sisters and a whining mother, a mother who loved to whine, and womankind meant to him an absolute and entire nuisance. " That s it," said the senior partner, regardless of this protest. "You arrange to stay for six months instead of two. I 11 do your work gladly." 35 J/1 pfsx //OH Clr A WARNING TO LOVERS " I can t," groaned Potter. " Come, Champney," whee dled the elder, " you say yourself that my little girl s life-happiness depends on her going. For my sake 1 Come ! I did a good turn for you or at least you ve j j always said I did in the * partnership. Now do one for 1 me." Potter sighed. He was used to being martyrised where women were concerned and had learned how to resist. "Well, if you say so. But I 11 have to V 1//7) ?/ ^^^ // not ell, ^SSSsj srw"N^ ^o. -. Witrw D (AT A WARNING TO LOVERS leave them there. Two months is my limit." " All right," assented the senior, gleefully. " Perhaps," thought Potter, " perhaps they won t be able to W^A\-V\ / ! pack in time." And the idea seemed to please him. For half an hour longer they chatted, and then Potter rose. "Tell me, Champney," inquired .the senior, "how did you find out about it?" " Oh," laughed Champney, "that s telling." 0%^Pm &: Hoi^ EJS* A WARNING TO LOVERS The next day there was woe in Israel. Mr. De Witt was cross over the " children s folly," as he called it. Mrs. De Witt was deeply insulted at such sudden and peremptory marching orders. "Men are so thoughtless," she groaned ; " as if one could be ready to go on a day s notice 1 " Champney was blue over the spoiling of his trip. Freddy, when he heard the news, was the pic ture of helplessness and misery, and only added to the friction by coming round and getting in 38 f V A WARNING TO LOVERS everybody s way, in the rush of the packing. As for Frances, she dropped many a secret tear into the trunks as her belongings were bestowed therein. Never, it seemed to her, had true love been so crossed. " I know Mr. Potter is at the bottom of it." (Frances was not alluding to the trunk before which she knelt.) " He s always doing mean things, yet he never will acknowledge them. He won t even pay me the respect of deny- ing them." Frances slapped a 39 ^ sm> / ^A^s^XJr/yM///i/A\ M // Y vv-X: Mn A WARNING TO LOVERS shawl she was packing, viciously. " To think of having to travel with him ! He won t even look at me. No. He does n t even pay me the compliment of look ing at me. I don t believe he s even noticed my eyes and eye lashes." Frances gazed into a hand-glass she was about to place in the trunk, and seemed less cross for a moment after the scrutiny. " He s just as snubby as he can be. I hate snubby people, WA- ^4 fc/ A WARNING TO LOVERS " Good afternoon, Frances," in- A /; terrupted a voice, which made that young lady nearly jump I \SV / into the trunk she was bending over. "I came up to see if I \ i ^^x" 1 " \ M could do anything for you or * i i your mother, and she sent me in to ask you." Frances was rather flushed, but "^ ^ ~^^ \ff that may have been due to the <? ; ; (/ C^X /A i\ stooping position. " I don t think of anything," she answered. " I ve had some chairs sent on board, and laid in novels and * ., >;, / ~\L:<-) smoked glasses and puzzles ; and X ""ww>\ /A r^^V \(*4&/\ m o rj> / LS x/J " 4V A WARNING TO LOVERS (l / ) /] \ f J oysters, and game, and fruit and butter." said Thnmnnpv witf and butter," said Champney, with a suggestion of weariness, " and I don t think of anything else. If you can suggest something more, I 11 get it." "I don t know Yes. You might change your mind and let us stay at home," snapped Frances. " Don t blame me for that," laughed Champney. " That s your father s doings." " I know you were at the bot tom of it," charged Frances. , - m A WARNING TO LOVERS ^nvj)! " My dear child " began (\ J \ Champney. " I m nol I m not your child, and I m not a child, and I won t be deared by you," cried Frances. " Madame Antiquity," re sponded Champney, bowing, " I assure you, that far from wishing to force you to go on this trip with me, I only agreed to take you, at your father s request, and at a great personal sacrifice to myself." J Frances turned, and banged down the lid of her trunk. Then 43 / YC>c^SsS $3^Xv J <^^\ L- i-^-^ V . // ^--V_^-^ * ts*T~~ X s ) A WARNING TO LOVERS she banged it again, to get the hasp to fit. Then she picked up a pair of discarded boots and threw them across the room, hitting Freddy, who entered at that moment. "Why, sweetness!" gasped ney. " Oh, go away," cried Frances, Freddy, who did not see Champ- I|^/C$JA V W^ 7 O J1 7 blushing. " Don t bother me ! Can t you see I m too busy to rfy-~- ^ : ^^ w\ s ^ \ "" : waste time now?" And to illustrate the callous ness of man to true love, it is regrettable to state that Champ- 44 C-/K ^-^ A ^$\ ^} r\v /^ ^* ===::::::: 5^ Wv^iiik M^* m^M^ v V tff\< 1 J^4 < //^^ sr^g^ ^r^ \ *\ N^VI/ l^^L ^-^^-J ^ t~>if vi\ \if ^\T -- >&\j(^ s&}k? IT" \^!/^rar^S^ w^v^^x^lV^ ^ftM^l^^Mfe I m not a child, and I won t be deared by you " A $} /p t$i -^^^>- ^s A WARNING TO LOVERS ney slipped out of the door at this point, with an expression of great muscular tension about his mouth, and no sooner was he in the hall than the brute reeled up against the wall and, leaning there, laughed to a sinful degree. Then he walked to the end of the hall, and entering a room, also cluttered with trunks, he sat upon one of them and retold the scene to the woman packing. " I never saw anything so delicious in its way," he laughed. " I really believe the medicine s begun " / x&. \, ^ A WARNING TO LOVERS to work already. But do you x* ^^- " l \ . A \ \ know, Frances promises to be a tremendous beauty. Just now, when her cheeks and eyes were blazing so, she was simply glori ous to look at." Which shows that Champney s cool, disregard ing manner was not more than skin deep, and that unlimited possibilities lay underneath. Per haps, too, another potion was beginning to work. " I m sorry she is so childish with you, Champney," said Mrs. De Witt. 46 u\ // Pw?^ x- 23iW V rWA-M^^^i\ <L/V, A WARNING TO LOVERS " Don t trouble yourself about ^ that. I really don t mind it ; in deed, I am afraid I rather enjoy it. It s much rougher on her than on me, for she really feels it, and it s the person who loses his or her temper who suffers the most." W ^ " I hope the dear child will try v *v f 7 i i* \ ^** to be more amiable, for naturally she s sweetness itself, and it s bad enough to be saddled with us without making your trip worse than need be. It s so good of you to take us 1 " y^L^c^-vv k n//\\ ^^ss* -A )J/M^< A WARNING TO LOVERS " Dear lady," answered Champ- ney, tenderly, " it s nothing but a little set-off against your years ~^r^l^\^ of goodness to me. You have really given me a second home ; nothing I can ever do will make Lii\\v/y me other than your debtor." * ** Ti- c- v\ t r* n 4-/~\ M/\O* tr/^ii oo " It s nice to hear you say so, Champney," said Mrs. De Witt, affectionately. " I have always felt as if you were a son of M mine. TU Then don t talk to me about my goodness in taking you." " But it is good of you." 48 r- s Nft aps ^* ^s\ i "V k<-5Cl. :/5%s? A WARNING TO LOVERS " I don t think Freddy and Frances think so." * how did you find out their j foolishness ? " "That is a secret," chuckled Champney, " that goes with me to the grave." Nor was it any better for Cupid the next day at the steamer. The evil genius of the little god, in the shape of Potter, persisted in following Frances about, and not a moment did she or Freddy find A WARNING TO LOVERS ;t_-r-.^ //~- \\ \W&h ~x7\ \ i*- to swear constancy or anything else to each other. Only a hand squeeze, while the whistle was blowing " all ashore," did they get to feed their hearts upon dur ing the separation. Freddy went home, and, going to his room, flung himself on his bed, and moaned, and bit the i*i \ pillow, and felt he was feeling great thoughts, and thought he , i . . _.L r__t . was having great feelings. And the little lady? "No," she declared, "I don t want to walk with you; I don t T? /") ! A WARNING TO LOVERS ^LJ^i want a steamer chair; I don t want anything; I only want to be left al-o-o-o-o-ne," and running to her stateroom, she flung herself upon the lounge and wept over her unhappiness. " Oh, Freddy, Freddy," she sobbed, " only be true to me, that s all I ask." But, alas, how is humanity constituted ! The next morning, Freddy, after a final look at him self in a tall mirror, remarked to \\ if" the vision : " Yes, that s very tony. Now, I 11 take a walk on the Avenue, so as to give the " WC /.I / A WARNING TO LOVERS girls a treat." As for Frances, after an hour s rapid walk with Champney in the crisp, sunny air, she came down to the breakfast- table, and said: "Yes, steward, ^S I 11 begin with fruit and oatmeal, \\ v" ^\ t and then I 11 have chocolate, and beefsteak, and an omelette, and i j l^arrSA K^w2*$$$& fried potatoes, and hot rolls, and marmalade. Oh! And, steward, do you have griddle cakes?" Thus, despite their mutual in tentions, the thought of each other lessened daily, till even the V 1/O V~.r. X \ <S . A WARNING TO LOVERS ^ A ^M inevitable correspondence lost in terest and flagged. Frances dis- :. r <- :/ *.f. covered that London, Paris, and the Riviera offered greater attrac- vv\ tions than Freddy s witless and : vapid " chronicle of small beer; " ^v < i while Freddy found that listening to the conversation of a girl, present, was a far better way of spending time than reading the ,"/ ,-jjx fff\ ^V^7\ V fe J< ^^V letters of a girl, absent. Finally, Frances found a letter at the bankers at Berne which ended the correspondence, a letter -4 M ^-^ X J "X 1 r-^J ^/K/ over which she laughed so heartily ^a A WARNING TO LOVERS that Champney looked up from his own bundle of mail and asked, "What is it that s so funny?" " Freddy s engaged to Kitty Maxwell," replied Frances. "I don t think you ought to be so gleeful at other people s misfortunes," reproved Champ ney, laughing himself, however, while speaking, as if he, too, saw something humourous in the announcement. " I I was n t I was laugh ing at something else," Frances told him. *- NJ ^JSam c Yd A WARNING TO LOVERS " What ? " asked Champney. A secret," replied Frances, blushing a little, even while 1 V laughing. "Not from me ? " urged Champ- ney. "Yes; Isha n teven tell you. Not a person in the world will ever know it, and 1 m very glad," asserted Frances. " I suspect I know it already," suggested Champney. " I am a great hand at finding out se- ^^ : : crets. I have a patent method." s. ; What is that ? " asked Frances. ^ A WARNING TO LOVERS " That, too, is a secret," laughed Champney. * # * When next we meet any of our characters, they or at least two of them are toiling up a steep mountain path in the Bavarian Tyrol. Frances leads, for the way is narrow, and Champney follows. Conversa tion is at a marked discount ; but whether this is due to the natural incompatibility of the two, or merely to the exertion of the j MA^ climb, is unknown to history. V. j // \ y ~S/i> ^ t\\-/"v if"* 5 *^ ^Cx^-v^P A WARNING TO LOVERS y\, "^y^vS-r-^ " She gets lovelier every day," finally remarked Champney. Frances stopped, and turned. . " What did you say?" she asked. "I didn t speak," answered Champney. "I m sure you did," said \ \ \ Frances. "No," denied Champney, "I was merely thinking." "- . .{ C?"\ I " You did say something, I m V> \S7 f&*& sure," responded Frances, turn- / \"^M\ ^ //^~7 _jl-i " 7*! ing, and resuming the climb. Another five minutes brought them to the top of a little plateau 57 ^^^^f^f"^!?^^ 1 ^^fe^^S^" fJ PSP GiH A WARNING TO LOVERS set in between two ranges of mountains, and dividing two lakes, famous the world over. Even after the couple reached their destination, however, they stood silent for a minute. Then Frances exclaimed, "Is n t it glorious?" " Lovely," assented Champ- ney, emphatically, but staring all speaking. A S\ the time at Frances, making it doubtful of what he was Ar Frances, being quite conscious of this gaze, looked all the harder A WARNING TO LOVERS at the view. The mountains shut in so grandly!" she remarked, after a pause. " Such perfect solitude ! " said Champney, enthusiastically. " Yes," assented Frances, with apparent reluctance in admitting the fact. "But I suppose we must be going down again ; mama will be lonely." Champney calmly seated him self on a stone, unstrung his field- glass, and surveyed through it the edge of the lake, far below I Vi A \\ /-^_S^ them. : Your mother," he an- 59 ^\^i A WARNING TO LOVERS nounced, " is sitting on the rug, just where we left her. Her back is against the tree, and she is j iv _ J r- L _i. . >_ pretending to read. But she s it \" doing nothing of the kind. She is taking a nap on the sly. Surely you don t want to disturb her? " " It must be nearly luncheon time." "The boatmen haven t even begun to unpack yet. Johann \V\ v~ ; , V. .^. is just taking the Voslauer out of the boat, to cool it in the lake. iCl * /J x"^ " if ^ I """ "^ T -. /\ They won t be ready for half an an hour." 60 P>tR Ci/ s r \ -i A /,/ // i y~- 4> o^o p,r^ ^ lijiyr > ^^\1^ SA.; ^ ^p /- ^///c. ^s^\ ) ^y ~~^^>^2 A WARNING TO LOVERS Frances began to look a little worried. There was a dangerous persistence in this evident desire to remain on the alp. " I think I ll go down, anyway," she said. ^-/M " You must n t do that," begged mtt Champney, laying the field-glass on the rock. "Why not?" demanded Frances. " Because I have something to say to you," said Champney. Silence and apparent interest in the view on the part of Frances. T ; Do you know," asked Champ- / * 61 A WARNING TO LOVERS ney, " that I planned to be away for only two months ? " " Yes." " And that I have been over here more than eight ? " " Oh, not so long as that," denied Frances. "Eight months and four days." "How quickly the time has gone ! " "But it has gone, and that s the trouble. I have decided that I must go back in September." Frances hesitated, and then said 62 iMj^ ^> \ \ i V^ c^\>^r A WARNING TO LOVERS bravely, " We shall be very sorry to have you go." " That makes it all the harder," groaned Champney, rising and joining Frances. " In fact, I hate so to leave you " (" you " can be plural or singular) " over here that that I want you to go back with me. Will you ? " "Why, that is for mama and papa to settle," remarked Frances, artfully dodging the question, though perfectly understanding it. "This isn t to be settled by fathers and mothers. My dar 63 ^llf U iO ^m <F A WARNING TO LOVERS my I want you to go because you have become so dear to me. I want to tell you to tell you how I have grown to love you in these months. How happy you can make me by a single word. I you once you told me you were not my dear child. Oh, Frances, won t you be my dearest love?" "If you want me to be," acceded Frances. * * One of the simplest laws of natural philosophy is that a 64 A WARNING TO LOVERS thing descends more easily than it ascends. Yet it took those two over four times longer to come down than it had taken them to go up, which proves that love x is superior to all the laws of grav ity; though it is not meant to suggest by this that it has aught to do with levity. From among a variety of topics with which they beguiled this slow descent the following sentences are selected : "I can t believe it yet," mar velled Champney. " It does n t 5 65 v___ - -<-- i ^-*~^ "^r=^r ^^ ^ A WARNING TO LOVERS seem as if our happiness could have depended on such a small chance." " What chance ? " :< Why on that evening. When I found your mother was n t in, I half turned away, but after hesitating, decided to wait. And then, when I found you two in the morning-room, I decided that I would leave you, and go and read in the library. I was just about to say so, when you told me to sit down by you on the sofa. That led to our coming off ^ ft/. ; It took those two over four times longer to come down than it had taken them to go up" A WARNING TO LOVERS here together, and really finding I \1 i / out about each other. Of course that was equivalent to my falling desperately in love." " But you could have done that at home," laughed Frances, merrily. " No, I should have come off / r^A -*/ ^ here, and some other man would u have won you. "Champney! I never could i */ love any one but you." Champney swallowed the absurd statement rapturously. "That s just like the angel that j *~* you are," he declared. 67 \ v A WARNING TO LOVERS " But I knew you had some thing to do with our coming," asserted Frances, "though you did deny it." " No ; like a consummate don key, I did n t want to be bothered with you. Conceive of it, dear one, that I could ever think you a bother! " "You didn t know me," laughed Frances, happily, and with no intention of vanity. "No, I should think not. I wanted your father to take you. But I shall never want ,A cX"// -JK e^-\- v^ ^"fr Aw ^ A WARNING TO LOVERS any one else to do that in the future." " But why did you want me to go to Europe, if it was n t to be with me?" " Why um because, dear one, I saw a little girl that night who was longing so for love that she was accepting a cheap and flashy counterfeit in its stead. I did n t want her to waste a real heart on such an apology for a man, and so I interfered." "But how did you know? cried Frances, looking bewildered. &.- C > 69 A WARNING TO LOVERS \\ "* " We had only just you could nt have known it then ? " " Yes." "How?" Champney laughed as he re plied : " That s telling." * * * And now, another leap, please, back to that fireplace, and sofa, again occupied by two but not the same two or, at least, only half the same. "Well," groaned Champney, " I suppose I ought to be going, for you must look your prettiest Wf A WARNING TO LOVERS to-morrow, otherwise malicious people will say it s a match ar ranged for the business." "Let them," laughed Frances. \x\ " By the way, how have you ar ranged about that ? You are such a good business man, and papa and mama are so delighted, that I know you have the best of it. " Of course I have. And she s sitting beside me now. But noth ing mercenary to-night, Madame," ordered Champney. " Cupid, not cupidity." " Well, Champney, dear, at (. V A WARNING TO LOVERS least do tell me how you found out about about " Frances r ^-i r stopped there. " Never," persisted Champney, nestling back on the sofa and laughing. "1 don t think it s nice for a man to have secrets from his wife," reproved Frances, taking an eminently feminine view of man s knowledge. " That is to be," corrected Champney. "Will you tell me after to morrow ? " 72 VxX A Ur/ \^// i /A\ \>^ A WARNING TO LOVERS " No." " Why not ? " " It s too good to be told." " Ah, Champney 1 " And a small hand strayed round his neck, V ^"-"^ ^^ife^C and rested lightly against his cheek. Champney looked very contented. " Please, dear." And a pair of lips came dangerously close to his own. Champney groaned a satisfied groan. " Well," he began, " do you remember when I came in the evening before we sailed, how Freddy was sitting over there, 73 %(Jlf <yAl ^9m^iJ^^ yj (/JwmJ/ ^^\ ^~7 I **. *}~ :: ^*=^-^- :~~-**^-- -<T /T> ,-> ~~ -, A WARNING 1O LOVERS and you were sitting just where you are ? " " Yes." " And how you let me sit down here, just where I am ? " " Yes." " And how I chatted for a moment and then suddenly be came silent? "Yes." "That was when I discovered it." "How?" " 1 found that the seat I was sitting in was warm!" i^& ^ ; "SAUCE FOBJTHE GOOSE ^ b IS SAUCE FOR THE GANDEK1 "SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS SAUCE FOR THE GANDER" H, my dear!" A U cried her " /"-: ";^J\ I ^V mother. "I ^ ^.^.. .-+- v. JWi l *"V>^ \ r^ hope you have properly con sidered ? He is charming, of course, but well he is such a club habitue." "What? Well, well!" ex- claimed her father. " Bless me, Meg, I had no idea Give me 77 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS a kiss, if you have any to spare for your old dad now. Why, j j> of course, I consent, if you care for him. Only tell Mr. Tyler I hear he spends too much time at his clubs." " Margaret ! How nice ! " ejac ulated her sister. " I ve liked him from the start, and hoped people said he was too fond xM ^^ ----" v^ of his club ever to care to marry, and so I thought but now it s all right." " I knew he meant biz," asserted her brother, "the moment he <**& ^ SAUCE FOR THE GANDER began to keep away from the club, and put in so much time with you." " I cannot tell you, my dear est Margaret (if I may call you that ?) " wrote his mother, " how happy I am over what my dear boy has just told me. The luxury and ease of club life are now so great that I had almost feared Harry could not be weaned from them. But since he has chosen such a dear, beautiful, and clever girl, my worst anxiety is over." " You are indeed to be con- 79 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS gratulated, niece," declared her aunt. " He is a most eligible parti good looks, position, and wealth. If you can only keep him away from his clubs, I am confident you will be a very happy and domestic couple." \Y " I have been certain of it for weeks," her dearest feminine i^ f^s^JUrfS* friend assured her. ;< There is n t a man I would rather have had you take, for he is so much at his club that I shall still see some thing of you." " Er, Miss Brewster," said one 80 \ ;_//. ~>L SAUCE FOR THE GANDER of her rejected lovers, "let me offer you my best wishes. At the club we all swear by Harry, and we actually think of going into mourning over the loss. Er, the fellows are laying bets as to whether we shall ever see him there again. The odds are six to one on the club, but the fellows don t know you, you know." " I want to offer you my hearti est congratulations," gushed the girl who had tried for him. " Mr. Tyler has always been one of my best friends, and I am sure you 81 -ttfp ., ^ ^ ^, JllSl s3%^ ^p :\ ^\^u/ Q^ $ ^J l/Mbf/ SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS will be very happy. He is n t, of course, very fond of women s society, but Have you asked him to resign from his clubs?" * * * " Don t you want to sit down, Harry ? " asked Margaret, making room on the little sofa beside the fire. The young couple had enjoyed four months of ecstatic travel, thirty days of chaos while they settled their household gods, and then a recurring Indian-summer V \ // V. honeymoon of two months in 82 SAUCE FOR THE GANDER front of their own fireside in the charmingly cosey library where the above remark was made. Upon this particular evening, however, Harry, in following his wife from the dining-room, took neither his customary seat beside his wife on the sofa nor lighted a cigar. On the contrary, he stood leaning against the mantel with anything but an expression or attitude of ease, and, noting this, Margaret had asked her question. " Not to-night, dear," said 83 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS Harry. The truth is well /^f/**Vs \^\ ^^* I met Parmlee on my way up town, and I that is he asked me to come round to the club / this evening and, well I didn t like to disappoint him. And then, a fellow mustn t stag that is don t you think, my darling, that it s a mistake for married people to see too , r , Jf . ,. much of each other and- " Oh, Harry ! " cried Margaret, interrupting and rising. "You said you never could have enough " SAUCE FOR THE GANDER "And I can t, dearest," inter rupted Harry, hurriedly. "But you know - Well can t you - " I feel as if it were the begin ning of the end," said Margaret, wildly. "Now, my darling," pleaded Harry, " do be reasonable. You know There, don t cry. I won t go. Sit down here and let me tell you how much I love you." This occupied some time, but the clock never told on them, so it is impossible to say just how long. Presently Margaret said : 85 SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS " Harry, did you really want to to leave me ? " "Not a bit," lied Harry. "It was only to keep my word to Parmlee." " I suppose it s too late now ? " questioned Margaret, hopefully. " Late ? Oh, no ! Fun s just J beginning. But I m going to stay with you, sweetheart." There was a moment s silence, and then Margaret said : " If you want to go, I want you to do it, Harry." " Well," responded Harry, ris ing, " if you insist, dearest." 86 This occupied some time, but the clock never told on them SAUCE FOR THE GANDER " I do," assented Margaret, in the most faint-hearted of voices. "That s a darling!" said her husband. "It s half-past nine, so you 11 only have a few minutes of loneliness before you go to bed." " I sha n t go to bed, Harry," sighed Margaret, dolefully. " Why, my darling," protested Harry, a little irritably, "you don t want to make me miserable thinking of you as here by your self. Please be reasonable and don t sit up for me. Leave 87 5^ K^imiN)m^ SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS want." "Very well, Harry," acceded me free to come home when I /\ I -,-> rjfftl Margaret, dutifully, " if you insist, I won t wait for your return." J Harry took the charming face in his hands, and kissed each eyelid, and then the lips. " I don t wyyp ^fevfe serted, his conscience pricking deserve such an angel," he as serted, his conscience pricking him, " and Oh, hang Parm- lee ! " he growled, as her eyes, a little misty, looked up into his own. However, she belonged to him, and there were plenty of lee ! " he growled, as her eyes, a own. However, she belonged to SAUCE FOR THE GANDER evenings, and well " Good night, my treasure," he ended. Margaret remained standing where Harry had left her until she heard the front door close ; then she collapsed on the sofa and softly sobbed her sense of desertion and grief into the pillow. The warnings of her family and friends recurred to her, and added to the pain of the moment a direful dread of the future. Not knowing that most bachelors are regular club men merely because SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS it is the nearest approach to home life they can attain, she dwelt on his having been apparently wedded to these comforters of men, be fore marriage, and inferred a return to his former daily fre quenting of them. Her grief was keen enough to prevent her from noticing that the front door was presently opened, and not till she heard a faint cough in the room did she raise her head from the pillow. " It was to find a servant with his back turned to the sofa, occupied, 90 z^^&f %nA *-< \x SAUCE FOR THE GANDER apparently, in setting a chair in a position entirely unsuited to it, a proceeding he made far more "^** VA* noisy than became a well-trained butler, and which he accompanied with two more coughs. Hurriedly wiping her eyes, Margaret asked, " What is it, Craig?" With his eyes carefully focussed to see everything but his mis tress s face, the man came for ward and held out his tray. Almost mechanically she took the card upon it, and after a mere 1 k & SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS glance she directed, " Say that Mrs. Tyler is not receiving this II I! ^Jp^^vrZr evening, and begs to be excused." Left alone once more, the young wife sat down upon a stool near the fire, and looked into the blaze, idly twirling the card. " I wonder," she soliloquised pres ently, "if he would have done the same." Again she lapsed into meditation, for a few minutes; then suddenly she sat up straight, with an air of sudden interest which was clearly derived from her own thoughts. A moment 92 "H/A - > .- "s\ 1) SAUCE FOR THE GANDER later, she gave a short, hesitating laugh. " If I only dared ! I won der if he would? Men are- she said disconnectedly ; but even as she spoke her face soft ened. " Poor dear ! " she mur mured tenderly. Yet the words of pity melted into another laugh, and this time merriment and not guilt was the dominant note. Springing to her feet with vivac ity, she sped into the hall, and placed the card on the tray, and that in turn conspicuously on the hatrack. A second action con- 93 iS^g. &^mS^i^^4 ^mf^zfe^ 1 ^k ^TsvC : jiA. Wl -Z^- j* <^^y *" v. x SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS sisted in turning on all the electric lights of the chandelier. This done, she touched the bell. "You may close the house, Craig," she ordered, when the servant responded to the sum mons, " but as Mr. Tyler has gone to his club, I wish you to leave these lights just as they are. I prefer that he should not come home to a darkened house, so don t turn out one." Giving one last glance, half merry and half guilty, at the bit of pasteboard put in so prominent a position, 94 >( ! i -*- " r, XT SAUCE FOR THE GANDER Margaret lightly tripped upstairs, humming something to herself. Meantime Harry had wended his way to the club. " Hello, Tyler 1 " said the man his wife had refused. " Don t 11 A mean to say you ve actually ceased to be one of the submerged tenth ? How and where is your superior moiety ? " " When I left Mrs. Tyler before her fire, ten minutes ago, she was very well." " By George, if I had as clever 95 / SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS and pretty a wife I don t think I should dare to leave her alone, should be afraid of the other men." Harry turned away to hide his frown, but as he went towards the door of the billiard room, re joined : " Perhaps it would n t be safe with your wife." To him self he carolled gleefully : " That cuts both ways." " But you are not afraid, I understand," called the man, ir- ritatingly, " so I take it you won t mind if I drop round there for a few moments this evening, eh ? " 96 V S SAUCE FOR THE GANDER " Certainly not," responded Harry, suavely, but gritting his teeth. "Hang the fellow," he muttered. " How do such cads ever get into decent clubs? As if Margaret s refusing him twice was n t enough to make him understand that she does n t want him round ! " Tyler s anger was quickly for gotten in the warm reception his cronies gave him, and a tumbler quickly made him forget both the incident and the passing hours. 7 97 .- ~ SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS Not till the marker notified the players that the time limit had come did he wake to the fact that it was two o clock. With a sense of guilt the hus band hurried home. In the hall way, as he took off hat and coat he noticed the card, and picked it up. "So he did come," he growled, with a frown. " I hope Meg had gone to bed before he got here. Not, of course, that it really matters," he went on. " She told me she never could endure him, so he s welcome to m SAUCE FOR THE GANDER call as often as he likes to be ( i / snubbed." To prove how little he cared, the husband crushed the card viciously, and tossed it on the floor. The light in Margaret s room was burning low, Harry noticed when he had ascended the stairs, and, peeping in, he saw that she was sleeping peacefully. Enter ing quietly, he looked at her for a moment, thinking with a little pang that he had given her pain. " You don t deserve such an angel," he said aloud. " See how 7,; , sA-X/ P\ SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS she has done just what you asked her to do, with never a word of There is n t another woman who would have taken it so sweetly. J You re an ass ! And for what ? Four hours of of nothing, when I might have been with her." He leaned down to very softly kiss a stray curl, and went towards his own room, while saying: " How pretty and dainty she is I She is worth all the clubs in the world ! " What was more, for a minute he believed it. The moment Harry was gone 100 rr J SAUCE FOR THE GANDER Margaret opened her eyes very wide, rose softly, and looked at the clock. Then she went back to bed, smiling demurely. * * * The next morning, when Harry entered the breakfast room a little late, he was received with a kiss, and no word of reproach. Margaret chatted over the meal in her usual entertaining, happy mood, telling him the news she had already extracted from the morning s paper. " She s too clever ever to nag 101 -/N CU^#" SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE IS a man," thought Harry, and assured that he was not to be taken to task, he became equally amiable, and told her whom he had seen at the club, and of his score. " I m glad you had such a pleasant evening ! " said Margaret, sweetly. "I hope you didn t stay so late as to tire yourself." "I didn t notice the time," fibbed Harry, " but probably I was in by twelve." " Oh, no, dear," said Margaret, pleasantly, " for I did n t get home 102 r- VV v_ & - { l\ SAUCE FOR THE GANDER till after one myself, and you weren t back then." * Twenty times Harry has tried to persuade his wife into acknowl edging that she spoke in jest, but Margaret only looks at him with wideopen, questioning eyes, as innocent as a child s. Her husband firmly believes that she went to bed ten minutes after he left the house, and always ends his unsuccessful attempts to get her to confess the fact by taking Margaret in his arms and telling & Qb/k= {\K\ Wp^S% i^i v ^ 8 ^ SAUCE FOR THE GANDER her of his belief. This faith his wife rewards with a tender kiss, but only a kiss, and still maintains i M her demure silence. ii i Harry spends no more evenings at the club, and every woman who knows him holds him up to other men as an ideal married Benedick. f^m A 000 101 745 8